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#should I just straight up stop using that tag at this point?
circular-bircular · 22 days
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More musings today, this time about “disordered plurality” and what it means for me to be disordered.
I’m not a disordered plural, but I am a disordered system.
Me and my therapist, the one who led to me being diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, have discussed numerous times how my system has saved me. We discuss often how my dissociation is a helpful tool; how my amnesia kept me safe for so long.
We discuss these things so I don’t resent who I am — what I am. I am a disordered individual who struggles with everything but the ‘plural’ aspect. I don’t struggle with having parts, and having them has been, by far, one of the best parts of my life. I’ve discussed with my partner how I wouldn’t change what I went through, no matter how much I may wish to not struggle, because it would mean I wouldn’t be the same as I am now — and I wouldn’t have my parts, differentiated as they are. I wouldn’t be me.
I would be, but… different. It’s hard to explain.
Regardless; the plural aspect is not disordered. I am neither distressed nor dysfunctional due to my system. I love my system. Loving my system has honestly been healing for me, and I’ve accepted and loved my parts long before I was diagnosed.
But I am disordered. I do have distress and dysfunction over my symptoms. My amnesia (which is not due to switching — I’m not sure why so many people think it’s isolated only to switching, but it’s not) distresses me and makes it practically impossible to function sometimes. My trauma flashbacks trap me in moments, leading me to feel I’m stuck in the car as a teenager with my abusive mother when I’m a 26 year old adult who hasn’t spoken to her in over a year. The dissociation leads to me only having driven across a state line for the first time ever, today — wait, nope. Never mind. I’ve done it before, Tavi just let me know. Just… didn’t remember it.
I’m a disordered system. And I love being a system. I just don’t love every symptom of being a system.
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villainsidestep · 2 months
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oh survivor!fawn we are really in it now
#gideon shut the hell up challenge#people keep saying they’re sorry for your loss. Your Loss. that is how they refer to your brothers. how they refer to you.#you have always been one of three. part of the pack. and that has always been fine but now you are alone and you are not You but your loss.#julia says sorry for your loss. ricardo says sorry for your loss. you yell that it should be their loss too. it is everyone’s loss.#they have lost your brothers and now they have lost you too. (fate works in funny ways you think)#at the funeral people offer apologies. offer you flowers. offer you baked goods and stories of how [your loss] saved them or their mom or#their dad’s uncle’s wife’s coworker’s daughter’s friend from childhood or someone else equally unimportant. someone alive.#[I’m sorry for your loss] they all say and you do not say thank you. there is no being thankful for [your loss].#[I’m sorry] says ricardo. you stop listening. [I’m sorry] says julia. you wonder if she said it to the man she punched.#you do not apologize back. you do not let it be [their loss]. it is yours. they have always been yours.#[I’m sorry] says chen . for river and cyrus. the first to use their names with you. to acknowledge them as your brothers. to make them more#than just the pieces of you that have been broken. and you thank him.#we like writing in tags sorry !!!! also at some point the original idea was that any parts of ‘I’m sorry for your loss’#would start distorting and then get blacked out to show like. when u hear smth so much and esp w grief that u just block it out#anyway. survivor!fawn but still factoring in that chen is not afraid to just. Say Things.#esp in v3 I think the ortegas would be even more cautious w fawn out of wanting to not upset them and meanwhile chen is like yeah I’m gonna#just straight up acknowledge ur brothers for u bc I can tell that’s what u need#we are also thinking abt v3!au and fawn being heartbreak but. that’s not for this post obvs#verse: you are the survivor; you carry the guilt
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tofixtheshadows · 30 days
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You guys really need to stop and consider the ways you're talking about Kabru I am dead fucking serious. Like I know that flattening characters is just what fandom does to a certain extent, but Kabru's actual personality is getting lost to the fandom hivemind insisting that he's aggressive/cruel/sociopathic/hateful, and these are particularly concerning takes to see leveled at the only brown character in the main cast day after day. "My poor sweet golden child Laios needs to be protected from this scary brown man" is not a good look! Like, it's very telling that the bulk of the hate and bad faith readings are reserved for Toshiro and Kabru. Everyone else's flaws get to be discussed and validated and forgiven (or erased), meanwhile people are straight making up things to be mad about with Toshiro and Kabru but patting themselves on the back for being smart.
The worst part is how undeserved it all is. I'm trying to lay off anime-onlys because we're still kind of in the red herring stage of getting to know Kabru, but I would still like to gently suggest that even if you think Kabru is up to something, you don't gave to get in the tags of every fan creator's post and bring up how you hate him or You Can Tell he's totally evil. Sometimes I think Kabru's blue eyes give people license to say things about his appearance that they know would sound completely racist otherwise, but referring to his blue eyes acts as a get-out-of-racism free card. The jokes about the dog with brown contacts are getting old, by the way.
For people who have read the manga, it's disappointing. Kabru is one of the most complex and important characters in the story, and if you base your interpretation of him and all your fandom interactions on shallow first impressions you are completely missing out.
I know part of this is because Dungeon Meshi is a comedy, but the story also wants to be taken seriously. For example, it's admittedly really funny when Chilchuck calls Laios "sick in the head", but that doesn't change the fact that the way Chilchuck casually belittles Laios caused him to hide the fact that he was "hallucinating" from his friends for weeks. Those feelings matter.
Like, this
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is funny.
But this?
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Is not. This is just a very clear example of a brown boy with PTSD. As someone else with PTSD, just looking at this fucking sucks, man.
The only reason why Kabru thinks about killing Laios is because he is in the middle of a flashback. He's struggling through a panic attack. If he truly wanted to kill Laios because he's violent or because he finds Laios inherently annoying, he wouldn't otherwise talk with Laios normally. Notice how he doesn't act this way at any other point in the story- it's just because he's triggered by monsters. Even when he's thinking about his plans to "deal with" Laios later, he's reluctant to actually kill him and only considers it to prevent another tragedy. Despite his deadly skills, Kabru relies far more on "soft" power- insight, persuasion, diplomacy. He's a rare example of a character who absolutely is, or at least can be, manipulative, but seems to use his abilities for good. He's not a pathological liar, he isn't looking down on everyone behind a smile. He's someone who is extremely emotionally intelligent, and he's willing to put aside all his own basic wants and needs to stop the cycle of dungeons devouring humans.
I'm going to cut a potential thesis on his character short and just give some examples of things that fandom should consider about his personality more:
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Racism in fandom isn't just about whitewashing in fan art, or using racial slurs. The insidiousness of bad faith readings, reductions to racist tropes, lack of fan content for characters of color, and dismissal of a character's complexity are far more common. You can believe yourself to be completely neutral or even positive about a character and still churn out low-grade bile about them into fandom's collective unconscious. Fandom reflects real life.
And I have been around fandom long enough to see how these behaviors (mostly from my fellow white fans) affect fans of color, how it makes a fandom feel hostile and unwelcome to them. It's fun to make jokes and memes, I'm absolutely not saying that everything needs to be a deeply nuanced take, but we need to be careful that it doesn't veer into toxicity. Please think about how our contributions to fandom come across, and what sort of vibes they cultivate in this communal space.
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gyusrose · 5 months
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➵ i still get jealous -> y. jw
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⚠︎ smut ! (mdni)
✎ toxic!jungwon, unprotected sex, degrading, dirty talk, face-fucking, angry sex
summary: you’ve been friends with jake for as long as you can remember, jungwon shouldn’t feel insecure about him, right?
wc: 1.5k
{ jungwon x fem.reader}
( i got inspired by that one question they asked won in the fan meet hehehe)
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“wonie? wonie? is everything alright?” jungwon gripped the steering wheel locking his jaw. of course he wasn’t alright.
you’ve spent the entire night (according to him) on your phone texting that fucker. it’s always ‘jake this’ ‘jake that’ he’s starting to feel a certain way about this dude.
jungwon shook his head at your question, not trying to start arguing while he’s driving.
“you’re just awfully silent, is something bothering you? do you feel sick?”
jungwon rolled his eyes at your naiveness, you pretty much ignored him (again according to him) the whole night.
“i don’t know, maybe ask jake how he feels.” there. he said it, well.. spatted.
you instantly rolled your eyes, he’s back at it again.
“don’t start, you know exactly what’s between me and jake.”
“are you sure ? you were giggling on the phone the whole night!”
“i answered one 3-minute call! that’s it! do you not trust me ?”
“i sometimes feel like i don’t, you barely talked to me, it always jake jake jake jake.”
your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. where was he getting all of this from?
jungwon was in fact wrong. you didn’t ignore him nor talked with jake the whole night. you answers ONE call from him and then turned off your phone to give jungwon all your undivided attention. but jungwon like always, overthinks everything.
“at this point just date him.” at this point jungwon was furious.
“oh stop being ridiculous jungwon!”
“oh i’m ridiculous ? alright we’ll see.”
the rest of the ride was quiet, you didn’t have the guts to respond to jungwon after what he said. your breath quickened, for some reason you felt..nervous?
jungwon threw his keys on the counter as y’all entered the apartment.
he pulled you into the bedroom in a blink of an eye, gripping your neck, so you’re looking at him straight in the eye.
“i’m gonna fucking teach you, not to be such a little slut, i’m the only man you should talk to, am i right?”
you nodded quickly.
“use your words”
“yes, yes jungwon only you.”
he let go of your neck, now stripping from his clothes, you went along with his steps and took your own clothes off.
“on your knees baby.”
he said stroking his dick in front of you.
“you know what to do.” you grabbed his base and licked the tip slowly. feeling the urge to tease him.
jungwon groaned at your actions. grabbing your chin.
“nuh uh, open wide, i see what you’re trying to do.” you opened up your mouth while he grabbed hair into a ponytail. his hips thrusted up inside your mouth as he pushed your head down onto his cock. pretty much fucking the hell out of your face.
jungwon’s eyes closed in pleasure as he continued to furiously thrust into your mouth, the feeling of tagging drove him over the edge, the way your throat closes made his dick twitch.
“fuck yeah, that’s right, keep that mouth open for me whore. “
at some point you couldn’t take it anymore and started moaning into his dick sending vibrations through it.
he finally pulled out of your mouth, not wanting to cum so easily. you were just adjusting your breathing when you felt being thrown into the bed.
“are you tired already ? i haven’t even fucked you yet, how pathetic.” she said shaking his head in disappointment.
without any warning, he inserted two of his long fingers into your cunt, making your back arch at the sudden sensation. he purposely went really slow, loving to see how stressed you’d get. lifting your hips up a little to go faster.
jungwon held your hips still, smacking the inside of your thigh, making you squirm.
“you think i’m going to let you do what you want?” his fingers still thrusting into you curling them inside.
you moaned loudly, wanting to be filled up already.
“please jungwon, fuck me, just fuck me!”
jungwon chuckled, this is how he wanted to see you, begging for him only him.
“so desperate for my dick, you fucking love it don’t you?” he said looking straight at you.
you could barely form a sentence but you managed to.
“yes please wonie just fill me up, i need you.” jungwon didn’t want to give in so easily but fuck was that so hard to do when you’re looking at him with those eyes begging to be fucked.
he retracted his fingers from you and instead lined himself up with your entrance. the wetness from his dick and your pussy was more than enough lube.
he dragged his dick up and down your pussy making you whine.
finally, he slowly entered you. nothing could be compared to the feeling of being inside of you. the way your pussy engrossed his cock almost made him cum on the spot.
jungwon wasted almost no time and started slamming into you with no mercy, your cries could probably be heard from blocks away.
the bed squeaked with every thrust he stirred.
“oh fuck jungwon, just like that fuck yes!” he knew how to drive you crazy, knowing exactly where to hit in your insides.
“mhm yeah? you like that? can jake fuck you like this? can he?” he grabbed your chin straight at him. normally you would roll your eyes at his remarks over your best friend but how hot it looked right now.
wanting to tease him more, you nodded your head.
“i don’t know maybe, he could probably go faster..” jungwon was appalled.
his thrusts weee enraged. you could feel how infuriated he was with every one of them. it was amazing.
“oh you think? can he make you feel like this? huh?” his hand lowered to your pussy, rubbing your clit in circular motion making you hips snap at the impact it had on your body.
you whines, moaned and groaned at all once.
“answer me!”
“no-shit - not he can’t.” with the speed he was going at, jungwon was dying for this view, you tits bouncing up at every thrust, he couldn’t help but lean down to suck and fondle them.
your hands reached down to his hair, gripping it not wanting him to pull away from them.
jungwon pulled away from your nipple and leaned back to his original position. now putting your legs over his shoulder in order to go even deeper (if possible) .
“only i can see you like this, you get that slut? no one, specifically jake can.”
“yes only you baby, fuck i’m gonna cum!” tears could be seen streaming down your face from the immense amount of pleasure you were receiving. jungwon wiped your tears then leaned down engulfing you in a deep kiss. his tongue swirled around yours, it felt like everything all at once. lust, love, anger, compassion.
“who’s pussy is this huh? tell me.”
“i’m cumming holy shit.”
“do not cum! tell me answer my question! who’s pussy is this?”
the ecstasy from the pleasure but now the urge to cum made your mind numb. barely forming a sentence.
“yours jungwon.” you said quietly, sure he heard it but he wasn’t content with it.
“i can’t hear you!” jungwon leaned closer to you. smirking. he wanted to cum so bad, but he wanted to hear you say that before it.
“yours jungwon! all yours to fuck.” you said much louder this time, the stress visible in your voice.
that’s all it took jungwon to come undone inside of you.
“fuck cum with me baby, cum all over my dick.” your orgasm mixed with his meant a furor of moans echoing around the bedroom.
jungwon pulled out of you before plopping right next to you, hugging your waist.
“tell that fucker to not call you so much.” you chuckled and kissed his lips knowing damn well that you’ll probably do it again in order to have this side of jungwon again.
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satoruhour · 9 months
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While I know Suguru is the og girldad, there’s something so endearing about Satoru with a daughter.
First time she’s in his arms and it’s like somebody put the sun into his palms. She has his white hair and six eyes but in shape of your facial features, his loud and boisterous personality and his sweet tooth, and there’s not a thing on this planet he cherishes more than her. Spoils her, wants to be her “superhero” dad children look up to, you best believe everything she draws for him is kept secure in a folder in his room. He never lets anyone treat her as inferior to boys (knowing the misogyny in jjk universe), and both of them love you to piecessssss🥹
Like I just randomly imagine him baking a cake with his little daughter for your birthday and MY HEARTHNSJ😭
WHEN US MEANS MORE THAN ME & U
a/n: literal tears. bye. i love dad gojo sm. wrote this through tears while listening to this. tagging @crysugu @jabamin @hyomagiri @seeingivy ✶
wc: 3k plus?? man idfk cant see thru my tears
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✶ dad!gojo . . .
. . . who ages so well the more he grows older. if you think he looks good at 28, just wait until he’s 34, or 40. although he still has a baby face, his features have matured way more, now, crinkle lines on his forehead and around his lips that accentuate his dimples even more. he just looked… so damn good, truly keeping his physique well into his thirties, except you wouldn’t have known if his hair is turning grey, though, since it’s already white, but you can tell he’s happy when his body hair is not just white upon white.
. . . who has the palest skin, so when he starts to grow a noticeable moustache and goatee he shows you the short strands excitedly, pointing to the various parts of his face with an excited finger and a beaming smile. he annoys you by rubbing his chin and cupid’s bow along your skin in the morning or when he returns home — it’s a little funny seeing you jump in surprise.
. . . who only lets you dictate whether he should keep the facial hair and when you hesitate even one moment (“nope! let’s shave it!”) you’re pulled into the bathroom and handed a shaver and shaving cream. he hums when the blade glides along his skin, knowing you were too afraid to be too rough. gojo liked the tenderness of these moments, you perched upon his lap and bottom lip caught in between your lips as you focused on his chin and cupid’s bow. the grip on your waist is firm, loving the way your thighs close around his own so snugly.
“okay — last one,” you voice out softly, eyes squinting because it was so difficult trying to see white hair from skin. gojo simply giggles at your struggle and you tsk, telling to stop moving! before you’re yelping and the shaver leaves your hand, the soft, plump lips of satoru moving against yours. behind you, there’s a plop! of water, and gojo just laughs when he sees the shaver lodged into the toilet. “ah. well, let’s use yours.” and your mouth twists, “no! i use that to shave…” you trail off and you swear you can hear gojo’s grin and the insult of pervert on your lips. “well! all the more to use it!” ✶
. . . whose vision from the start is slowly turning true. the jujutsu world is in the good hands of his students that he’s able to spend time with you and the (unborn) baby more. he smiles more freely now that he works less missions, but still as cheeky and playful as ever, squishing your cheeks and moving them around as he plants kisses on them. he also shows his feelings more, not afraid to bury his face in your neck and ask for head rubs or tell you he might be thinking about suguru a little too much; the first time satoru put his head to your swelling belly and heard the kid kick he teared up right away, baby talking to the baby bump like the sap he is.
. . . who at first hated his family name because it was only ever associated with his powerful father and then him, with both of his renowned techniques, how it pointed straight to him being the strongest and a cog in the machine to overwork. but now, gojo rather likes it, referring to you as “my wife” and “mrs. gojo” more times than necessary. you gave him his surname meaning by saying your vows and slipping his (rather expensive) ring on your fourth finger. you gave the family name a sense of warmth and homeliness whenever he’d come home to you humming a tune from high school and cooking up some dinner. you gave ‘gojo’ a worth that means more than just the six eyes and limitless — that it’d mean that gojo was the penthouse in some far off tokyo district coupled with you and the baby growing in you.
. . . who when first handed his baby girl, cried full on tears in the hospital, both arms wrapped so snugly around his baby because he was afraid he was going to hurt her or drop her in some way. gojo is generally pretty large in stature that he makes your baby girl look so small that it’s endearing. your cheeks hurt from smiling so much at them, not having the energy to capture the moment since you just quite literally delivered. but satoru much rather have his girls in the picture, handing the baby back to you before he reveals his phone to snap a picture.
“w-would ya look at her?” satoru coos, rocking and bouncing his body gently to ease your baby back into slumber. there’s an ugly show of a mess on his face — snot falling everywhere and tear stains lining his cheeks. but there’s one final thing that has gojo choking up all over again; the baby is curious and feels up his hand, your husband letting a finger out before she curls her small fist around his finger. “oh my god.” it’s cute seeing gojo so distraught as tears spring to his eyes again and he can’t even form words. it makes the baby laugh and he sobers up a little, sniffing and raising a brow. “love seeing your papa cry, huh?” and the baby sputters again and giggles and satoru swears he ascends to heaven and mutters a promise more to himself than your darling girl. “i’ll protect that little smile for as long as i live, okay?” ✶
. . . who is entirely enamoured with his baby girl, carrying her a little too much when she should be in the crib, singing her little songs or pointing out the colours of the sky in the nursery. you watch the scenes like a proud wife and mother, still not used to the beautiful scenes and childlike decorations of the room — only because satoru would not let you in after learning why ellie from up couldn’t conceive even if the paint now was safe. but you don’t have the heart to turn away your husband when this is what you get out of it, reminiscent of when gojo had playfully done to tsumiki and megumi before (“the scenery is beautiful today, gojo-san!” vs. “i already know what colours are, dumbass.”). 
. . . who only asks you to rest while he takes on most of the diaper-changing and feeding duties. you weren’t even that old to begin with, but it seemed like just like you were pregnant, satoru found it offensive that you’d think of even lifting a finger. you let him, for a while, until you find out he’s putting on the diaper wrongly and putting a little too much formula in the bottle, but you simply pat his cheek when he tears again. by god, he doesn’t want to mess this up, he doesn’t want to mess you up, he doesn’t want to mess her up, but you show him with your hands wrapped around his. one, two, three, and a half cups into the bottle; wrap around her right, then her left and secure it with the provided adhesive.
“satoru, baby,” you sigh, going on your tippy toes to kiss away the tears spilling from his cheeks, “you’re not a bad dad because you didn’t know how to make her food or change her diaper.” your fingers are as light as dewdrops, always in awe of his flawless skin and looks, and now, in awe of his consideration and love of your baby girl. “but—” you put up a finger, “no buts— remember? we promised each other not to be sorry if we can’t help it. you are human, my love.” gojo heaves a shaky sigh and swallows away the sobs, nodding against your hand as he covers it and leans into your touch. “i am human,” and a little later after quelling the baby’s cries in bed, “thank you.” ✶
. . . who, when she’s old enough, takes her on flying mishaps, hands tucked under her arm pits to guide her through the house in exaggerated flight. it feels like dad is superman, the sofa, high chair, even mama is all too far away from her and she’s onto her next exciting adventure. the bubbly giggles from your darling girl is the only sound that matters to satoru, alongside your laughter as you watch the two in play while dinner simmer besides you. higher! higher! she asks when she can speak and he does just that with his imposing height, but gojo’s tallness never intimidates his baby girl; no, not when gojo satoru is her hero and you, her solace.
. . . who gives nothing but a multitude of praises when his girl is leaning more into the artistic side, asking for colour pencils and crayons and paint to explore her creativity that with each drawing she shows him, he gasps, falls to the floor, and cries out how it should belong in a museum! gojo is doing the most — hands on his chin and pointing to various parts of the drawing and discussing the “meaning” behind it when all your girl wanted to do was draw the three of you as a happy family. he’s buying the frame, making a plaque for the artwork to be hung; when he’s making copies of the artwork to keep in a folder, he’s crying his eyes out (“she just wanted to draw us, us! as a family!” you giggle, “yes, satoru, that’s what we are.”)
“girlssss! i’m home!” satoru grins when your baby runs up to him, swooping her up before she can crash into his legs and twirls her around. “papa! look at what i drew today!” you’re emerging after cleaning up her very passionate creative space after she swore on finishing it before your husband came back, smiling when she bounces on her heels. “woooow!” he clutches his heart, one knee and then the other before he croaks out “ooouhhhh! why isn’t this masterpiece in a museum yet?! it’s a crime!” if you were in high school, the gojo then would definitely barf at how cheesy he was being at the moment, “very compelling use of colour, here, miss gojo. hmm, yes, yes, i see how you used multiple colours for the sun — very effective in showing the many colours of the sunset!” you’re cheesing so hard at the display because he does this every. time. and it never fails to make her yell in excitement, running over to you as she gives you a big fat kiss on your cheeks, “mama helped me!” a raise of the eyebrow before you finally get your well-awaited kiss to your lips, “i’m sure she did, honey.” ✩
. . .who teaches her the basic things, not shying away from the harsh realities of the world and jujutsu society. he tells her about boys who make fun of girls and think it’s acceptable, or teachers that would only like the strong boys to carry the chairs to the centre of the classroom. he thinks that if he’s going to do this parenting shit, he’s going to do it right, not the way his parents did it, not the way the higher-ups “looked” over young sorcerers. he covers self-defense, verbal comebacks as well as a rejected raise of her hand to threaten a punch (you were the one to stop him from teaching her that — you could only thank it wasn’t a middle finger instead), praising and rewarding her with candy and blown raspberries into her skin.
. . . who teaches her mama is as important as he is, but your darling girl already knows the value of her mother who holds her tight when she has a nightmare, or the airplane on mama’s airline that always holds delicious food. she knows how much her mother loves her when you’re sharing a smile with her at the dinner table as satoru chokes again on his food, and when you pat her to sleep while telling the story of how you and gojo met. that’s why she was the one to suggest that they both bake you a cake for your birthday — with her as the head chef and satoru as her sous chef. 
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“it has to be perfect, papa! no more burning the pancakes in the morning or putting too much sugar.” gojo stifles a laugh at that; it seems that his baby girl had heard the many trivial mishaps that had happened in the kitchen, snapping out of his daze when his daughter lands a light slap on his cheek. “pay attention!” satoru fully laughs now, okay, okay! he says and they read through the recipe together — a family recipe passed down to you — and they try their best. the flour is a little messy, the sugar is a tad too much and satoru thinks he may have preheated the oven too high a heat, but then there’s the familiar smell of the vanilla extract and the rise of the cake in the tin. your baby cheers, collapsing into gojo’s arms in front of the oven and together on the floor, they watch the cake ascend.
“careful, baby, it’s hot.” gojo brings her away when the cake is finally done, dramatically smelling and letting out a sigh at it, “it smells really good, ain’t it?” she purses her lips and points to herself, “all due to me!” and gojo hums in agreement. he’s content to let his baby girl take all the credit when she’s looking as adorable like that, finding that her confidence is looking more and more like his while your kindness shows when she’s propped up on the kitchen island and saying, “but papa was the one who helped me pour everything! so maybe it’s because of both me and papa.”
the “thank you” that satoru whispers into his girl’s temple is a whisper, and the house falls into a comfortable, more calm atmosphere as they work on the icing together. it’s clear that all her excitement has caught up to her and she’s now feeling a little sleepy in between, only shooting up when gojo’s announced the icing’s all mixed properly. “happy . . birthday . . mama,” she draws out in the air with satoru’s finger clutched between her fist, a clear layout in her young mind that he had no choice but to listen (he would always listen), lathering first the white base icing before the pressuring job comes and his darling girl is looking at him with narrowed eyes, “don’t mess it up, papa!”
“i won’t—” and before gojo can start on the lettering, you’re depositing the house keys into the bowl your husband gifted you in high school, letting out a chuckle at the scene before you: the sorcerer’s face caked in white, vanilla extract and broken egg shells on the island and in the middle of it, your husband and your daughter looking like deer caught in headlights.
“hi, mama,” they say in unison and your grin only widens. you could hardly be mad when this doesn’t happen often, already knowing the occasion, but they seemed to be a little bummed out from being found out so you only hope your hug can make it up. your baby girl goes first: she squeals when she’s scooped into your arms, smile so bright it could mirror any angel in heaven. while she still pouts, she’s more than happy to wish you a happy birthday. “thank you, baby. was baking with papa fun?”
she nods so hard her whole body moves in your arms, “papa is very bad at measuring stuff, though.”
you burst out laughing while your husband falls into a greater pout than your daughter did, brushing off the flour from his arms and taking the both of you into his embrace, “she’s so mean to me, sweets.”
“i’m not, just telling the truth. mama, i was the head chef, so i get to say what he’s bad at.” gojo’s pout worsens and you coo, pulling him closer.
“yes, but daddy did help with everything, didn’t he?” you whisper, brushing away the strands that fall over her face. you’ve never really taken the time to take in everything: her white hair, those blue eyes that are a little darker, the lines at the side of her smile that look like yours. instinctively, your forehead rests against hers and upon feeling her nod, you think that this is all you need. “thank you, darling.” and your girl grins again when she feels your peck on her forehead. gojo only can look at his girls with a content smile, pout stretching into his face while his hand never stops caressing your back. “can daddy have a kiss too?”
that night when she’s put to sleep after much protest (you both give in and end up watching your favourite movie together as a present), you’re drawing circles on gojo’s bare chest which also has grown a little bit of hair. his lips upon your hair feels like a divine blessing; he speaks.
“happy birthday again, baby,” a kiss, “only if you came home a liiittle later, though.”
you laugh softly, “actually, i sort of heard your shenanigans when i was standing outside the front door.” satoru jerks from the comfortable position, prompting your head to hit the headboard in a loud ‘thud’.
“oops sorry, baby— but what?!”
you shake your head, roll your eyes, pull him back to tuck yourself under his chin, “you’re so damn dramatic. i just didn’t want to interrupt the both of you. you mean a lot to her, you know.”
gojo sighs, moving away a bit for your head to tilt up and his heart still pulls and tugs like so many years ago. if he recalls correctly, it’s just exactly like this that you shared your first kiss together, the line between friends and lovers blurring so much that all it took was your eyes staring into his to make him notice he never had infinity on around you.
“you made me forget what i was gonna say,” satoru mumbles, a laugh cutting through his features when you smile sheepishly. he copies your outburst, “you’re so damn beautiful.”
“and you mean a lot to her, too. we mean a lot to her — it’s the least we can do when you’ve brought such a beautiful baby into the world,” gojo mutters — it’s late and he’s slurring his words from the fatigue. his eyes glow under the night light and he holds on to you just a little tighter, “to give her a normal life.”
his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and there’s the sheen of his tears again. “we will succeed, don’t you worry.” you silence his doubts with a kiss, “you’re doing a great job of a father, ‘toru. i will keep reminding you until my voice turns hoarse and i can’t speak.”
normally, he’d tease you but all it does is make the tears full spill over; but they’re happy this time. satoru only lets you catch his lips in a deep kiss, quietening his sobs as your hands fumble at his undercut and his face. you can hear the faint “thank you”’s he mumbles and you’re also close to crying, pulling away to admire him — god, you loved him so much you feel like you could collapse. he loved you so much he would do it all over again if it meant having you in every life.
“thank you for having me. thank you for loving me, baby,” satoru whispers, wiping at your tears as did you and he laughs, “dunno why we’re cryin’. s’pposed to be a happy moment.”
you huff (of course, he’d say something funny now), but that’s just one of many things you love about him. all you do is hold him closer that night and mutter a prayer — to virgin, to buddha, to anyone who would listen.
it might get difficult along the way: one of you may need to take on more missions, your baby will be growing up and heading to school. there will be difficult talks, puberty, tantrums, none of you were truly ready. and yet, despite it all, you’d still have your satoru, the one who made tsumiki and megumi into what they are today. despite it all, you’d still have each other and your darling girl, your family of gojo’s whose definition changed from suffocating to belonging. despite it all, as long as galaxies are created and supernovas happening and the planets revolve around the sun, it’d take light years for your love to diminish even one speck.
your love for each other could surpass the cosmos — that in itself is enough.
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part two
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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 5 days
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[We went on shopping (it didn’t go well)] - TF141*F!Reader
not a chapter actually just a rambling, it's kinda messy and not my style imo, pls feel free to skip this etc. might rewrite this shit when I have time since I’m busy with my job these days and I just accidentally sliced my thumb open making it difficult to type, hence not much to provide sorry :( and the weird stranger incident in the latter part did happen irl damn it’s creepy af, but I was the one telling them to fuck off tho (they harassing my cute friend RAGE)
Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)
Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
After your car graduates from its car life in about a week, congratulations, the poor shelf accompanies you since your college life is finally undone, fragments spreading across the floor making you shout Mama and mourn for its graduation.
You don’t have a car right now, so when Gaz offers to drive you to buy a new shelf, you agree to his suggestion without a second thought. Yet when the day comes and you open the car door, only to be greeted by the wide smile of Soap and Gaz, you almost slam the door close in reflex.
“Okay, but why do all of you come together? this isn’t an elementary school field trip!” You gawk at them when you squeeze in the car.
“Sounds fun, how can ye not tell us?” 
“Gaz I thought you could seal your lips!”
“Sorry love, Ghost exchanged it with some goodies.”
Oh yeah, Ghost is sitting in the driver’s seat.
Wait, he’s sitting in the driver's seat?
“Goddamnit—“ Your scream dies out on your tongue when said man puts his foot down. 
Ghost does a good job at providing you the same experience as riding a rollercoaster, glad that you didn’t throw up in the car and arrived at the warehouse without dying. If he's your Uber driver, you will give him five stars and block the hell out of him. 
You hop out of the car and walk to the door. As the automatic door parts after sensing your presence, you feel much better when the cold air of the store. Nice a.c. is one of the important features of a nice store, and you already built a fondness for the warehouse with how refreshing the chilly air is inside.
The first area welcoming you is food. Not bad, 6 out of 10 if it needs to be precise. Gaz pushes the cart and follows you as you saunter to the aisle with cereals.
“Oh, they have my favorite brand.” You murmur to him as your eyes travel across the price tag.
Wait, you must still be dizzy because no way it’s 30% cheaper than the same one you just bought from the supermarket.
“Kyle, it says it’s 3 pounds, right?!” pointing at the tag, your voice raises a whole eight-tone with excitement.
“Yes?”
“Good.”
5 boxes of cereal are added to the cart. 
Actually, 9.9 out of 10 for this place, you fix the evaluation as you watch Gaz putting some of those ten bags of chocolate Ghost and Soap dump into the cart back on the shelf, and as a little revenge to Gaz for letting the other two men join the trip without you knowing, you choose to turn a blind eye when you spot Ghost sneaking all of them back in the cart.
Not forgetting the primary goal for today, you go straight to the furniture area after letting Soap throw five packs of gummy bears in the cart and convincing Ghost not to get a cup of tea from the random tea shop. You’ll make a much better one for him when you get home — you coo when he stares at you with unhappy eyes not covered by the mask, glad that he seems to accept the idea, so he huffs and lets you drag him and Soap out of the food area.
“You should buy this.” 
“Ghost I don’t need a green shelf in my shop thank you.”
“Then ye should buy this bonnie!”
“That’s not even a goddamn shelf, Soap.”
“How about this?” 
Your eyes brighten up when Gaz shows you a wooden shelf, it’s stripped-back, with not many decorations, but it surely will fit wonderfully into your store with its aesthetic vibes and high functionality, thus you pick up your phone to type down the product number immediately.
“Oh my, Kyle, you’re the best.”
and you’re too busy typing the numbers down that you don’t notice him shooting the others a taunt of victory.
The last area before the cashier’s counter sets a bookshop. You don’t plan on buying books, but you indeed need to go to the bathroom, so you dismiss yourself and tell them to look around before you’re done.
Why are the bathrooms always hidden in a bloody long hallway? What if someone can’t hold back during their way? Your footsteps echo through the corridor as your mind starts hitting you with a fresh and unnecessary question, glad that you aren’t that urgent though, so you’re able to get to the destination without wetting your pants.
Washing your hands, you step back to the hallway again, but you yelp in surprise when you bump into someone.
“Sorry!” You nod at the man and start heading back to the bookstore.
but it’s weird, the man you just bump into walks so close to you, that you suddenly realize he’s just a step behind you.
Hey, don’t panic, might just coincidence, you try to tell yourself as you make another step.
“Hey, lovely.” Okay, it’s not a coincidence, fucking hell. You curse when his hand touches your shoulder and stops you.
“Sorry for bumping into you, Sir. Anything that I can help?”
“No, I’m waiting for you to separate from the blokes for a while can’t ask for your phone number when they surround you like dogs.”
“I don’t give strangers my number, sorry.” You try to leave, but the man’s hand grabs your shoulder forcefully preventing you from moving.
“Hey, give us a chance yeah? I’m sure we will have some nice time together.”
“I don’t fucking know you!”
Prying off his hand, you turn and start walking fast, almost running when you hear the stranger’s footsteps coming towards you.
Fuck fuck fuck, you haven’t run with such desperation in years, last time must be high school.
“Who the fok are ye arsehole?”
The tears prickling in your eyes when you hear Soap’s voice ringing in your ears before you feel a pair of warm hands drag you behind him.
“Ghost and Soap will deal with him, let’s go.”
Adrenaline pumping through your body finally subsides when Soap and Ghost reappear from the hallway, you don’t want to know what happened to the stranger, maybe hope they’re still alive and in one piece so you won’t involve yourself in another chaos, 
“I think it’s time to go home, Kyle. Is it okay?”
“Of course, wanna grab some food before we leave?”
“I guess Ghost already bought sufficient chocolate for us.”
A burst of laughter catches your attention whilst Gaz looking at the cart with bags of chocolate stuffing under your cereals with disbelief, and a smile crawls back to your lips as you look at Ghost slamming his forehead against a lower door frame and Soap laughing over him.
They aren’t that bad, maybe, or they reserve the remnants of tenderness for you, you’re not sure whether is correct, but at least they have your back when you need them, and that’s enough for you to stop exploring the answer for now.
“Oh.” A book gets knocked off when you shift to stand up. Turning around to pick it up, you have a good look at the shelf behind your seat.
Your eyes dart from ‘Today’s recommendation’ to the book within your grasp.
‘Surrounded by idiots — by Thomas.’
You will rate this recommendation 10 out of 10 for sure.
After insisting on paying yourself and shooing the men off, you take out your card and place it on the scanner.
‘Insufficient balance :( please try again’
You frown when the machine shoves you a nuh-uh, and you open the bank app to check your balance.
So you overspent 10 pounds huh? What a shame to your title for being a successfully financially broken adult. Which link loses and makes you make a wrong shopping decision? 
you scan the list of items with sharp vision until you land your eyes on a product.
Surrounded by idiots - £ 10.61
Ah.
a/n: thx for reading :D sorry it's messy and unlike my previous writings :( hope I can have time to write again btw Price went on business trip so he's missing everything
tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww @ghostysloot @hxnneydew @cutiecusp @beigechristmastree @rejectedbytheempty @lupikekee @hotvinimon @whitetiger846
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balletfilmss · 1 month
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ISN’T SHE SO SWEET?
✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of artemis! reader smau
✸ notes: requested by @sunnflowerss-wp !! this prompt was fun & i looooooved incorporating my hunters of artemis girlies <3
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…now playing: there she goes — the la’s
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percyjacks: “but percy, she’s so scary” are we looking at the same person? 🤨 new moon=yn appreciation day
tagged: yn.ln
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team.leo: look i said that ONCE bc she shot me and i feared for my life
╰┈➤ percyjacks: excuses excuses, if she shot you then you deserved it
╰┈➤ team.leo: BRO THE GAME WAS OVER???
╰┈➤ percyjacks: LALALAL 👨‍🦯
╰┈➤ annabethc: did…did you just use a blind emoji for not being able to hear?
╰┈➤ percyjacks: omg beth let me live
piedpiper: EVERY day should be yn appreciation day wdym 😒
╰┈➤ percyjacks: yk what piper, you’re so right, my sincerely apologies to everyone
yn.ln: NOOOOO BABE YOU’RE EXPOSING ALL OF MY SECRETSSSSS
╰┈➤ percyjacks: sweetheart…you’re about as secretive as piper is straight
╰┈➤ yn.ln: HEY
lieutenant.thal: new moon = thalia visits day, hand over my girl
╰┈➤ percyjacks: im sorry, WHOSE girl???
╰┈➤ lieutenant.thal: did i stutter?
annabethc: those cookies in the second pic were bomb asf, you’re welcome
╰┈➤ yn.ln: make more beth, im begging 🙏🙏
neeks._: i’ve quite literally seen her try and bite people’s fingers off before
╰┈➤ percyjacks: what’s your point? 😒
╰┈➤ neeks._: oh there isn’t one im js sayin
gracefully.jason: she’s pretty, but where’s my man percy at?
╰┈➤ yn.ln: you mean MY man. i will hunt you down, grace
╰┈➤ percyjacks: she’s so sweet 🥰
…now playing: tek it — cafuné
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yn.ln: the peeta to my katniss 🤍🏹
tagged: percyjacks
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lieutenant.thal: babe it’s not too late to join 🙏🙏
╰┈➤ percyjacks: yn block her PLEASE
╰┈➤ yn.ln: no to both of you 🤍
hazel_lev: YOU GUYS ARE SO CUTIE TOOTIE
╰┈➤ yn.ln: JSJSKSK ILY HAZE <33
percyjacks: idk who this peeta guy is but i think i look pretty damn good 😮‍💨
╰┈➤ yn.ln: look, i love you but don’t disrespect peeta mellark like that
piedpiper: you guys are cut but im gonna throw up next time im within a 3 mile radius omg
╰┈➤ team.leo: this is how we all feel when you and annabeth are all over each other btw!
╰┈➤ annabethc: you’re just mad because you can’t get a girl
╰┈➤ piedpiper: GET HIS ASS BABY 🗣️ (suck it, valdez)
gracefully.jason: idk what tf bread and cats have to do with this post but go yn 🙌
╰┈➤ yn.ln: …
╰┈➤ percyjacks: jason… bro
╰┈➤ yn.ln: i have never sighed so hard at a comment before in my life
reyna.ara: gods, i love it when his face is hidden & all i can see is you, you’re so gorgeous bae <3
╰┈➤ yn.ln: stawwwwwp 🤭
╰┈➤ pecyjacks: yeah. stop.
╰┈➤ reyna.ara: percy. three’s a crowd.
thegoat_: it’s so unfortunate to say but i took two thirds of these pictures
╰┈➤ yn.ln: grover do NOT act like i dont take cutie pics of you & juniper ☹️( reminder: 🏹)
╰┈➤ thegoat_: you are absolutely right, pretend I didn’t say anything (pls but the bow down)
percyjacks: gods, i love you 🩵
╰┈➤ yn.ln: i love you too, seaweed brain 🤎
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risuola · 3 months
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III — GAMBARE, GAMBARE // In the world of crime and blood, Sukuna knows what's off limits. You certainly are one of those things and yet, he's unable to stop thinking of you.
contents: smut, little angst-ish in some places, mafia!au, unprotected sex, a hint of body worshipping, violence, mentions of death, subtle threats, reader discretion is advised — 3,2k words
a/n: third part, thank you so much for support guys! it means the world to me to see how INSANELY big is the tag list now. i literally love y'all~ ❤️ also, just as the first part got inspired by the absolutely menacing quote from our king, it only felt natural to include the famous gambare, gambare (do your best) into this one.
ᴅᴇᴀᴅʟʏ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴏɴ | masterlist
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Sukuna prefers to think of himself as one of significant intelligence. Over the years, during which he ruled over the entire criminal milieu, he proved himself to stand atop of anyone who dared to even think of overturning his jurisdiction. All the exceptionally dumb bold ones that once wished to take the position of a boss from his hands had learned the hard way why troubles with Sukuna Ryomen are the least desirable fate of anyone who bears any volume of oil inside their brains.
It’s not only tactical or business intelligence that he’s priding himself with. It’s also the excessive knowledge about general rules of life that allowed him to comfortably push and pull the edges of what’s right and wrong, bending his own reality to his liking. Now it’s intuitive – he just knows where he can put more pressure and where it’s not worth his time. He knows what to bet his money on and what won’t realistically pay back. And most importantly, up until that point, Sukuna thought he can tell with his eyes closed which people he should consider crossing paths with, what men can be useful whilst he aims to reach his targets and which crowds he shouldn’t mess around with – for various reasons, most of which being just business and inconvenience. Same thing concerns women. Ryomen’s position works like a magnet and not a day passes by without girls, often way too young to even think of him, throwing themselves at him, led by fantasies of money and power veiled in the shades of love. If he wished, he could have a different toy every time the night falls and if he’d be just slightly less trained, he might have fallen for the temptation. But he didn’t.
Sukuna learned it from experience, not exactly his own, but of his pawns, that allowing random women in the proximity of their profession usually leads to catastrophes. Girls get persistent, they grow attached, they fall in love sooner than it’s even logical and then they threat, they blackmail; all of which eventually leads to their deaths because dealing with just barely adults that weaponize tears and screams is something he doesn’t allow in his circle. There were no exceptions, any man bearing similar power to Ryomen knows that there’s no place for romance in the world of death and bones, the one that’s stained in red and sorrow. If there happens to be love, it’s always of people from inside the criminal circle, sharing the same set of broken morals. Mafia should never tie itself romantically with civilians. Especially him, the leader, the menace that he is in the world of misdeed, murder and corruption, knew all too well why he should never, ever, even think of someone from outside of his tale as of anything more than one time plaything. That would be irresponsible, straight up naïve. It would be foolish. He knew all of that and not even once he felt any need to engage into any kind of relationship with someone that he deemed non-profitable to his general targets.
Then why the fuck he kept thinking of you? Why he kept seeing you after what was supposed to be a fun one-time fuck? Why did the taste of your lips and the sweet scent of your skin made him so completely addicted that he couldn’t focus on his own business without his mind wandering to the memory of you at least once an hour? He just liked your body, he told himself every time he thought of sending you a message. You were a good lay, it was purely physical. You did, after all, take his dick like you were born solely for this very purpose. He was meeting you only for sex and it was an accident that some of these meetings began with a dinner. All of the gifts he showered you with were just a form of payment for the service. Sukuna knew much better than to let his emotions take control of him.
“What’s on your mind?” Your quiet voice tore Ryomen out of the realm of his self-criticism. The tone that you spoked with was raspy, the testimony of the rough, throat-fucking he had used you for just few hours prior, and yet, it still somehow flowed with cottony softness, so characteristic to you.
“Nothing important,” he replied bluntly, lowering his gaze to where your face was buried into the broad muscle of his chest; your frame completely hidden in his own, much larger and stronger. It was another night you spent in his house, one of those that began with the reservation in one of Tokyo’s best restaurants that served traditional Japanese cuisine. You showed up in a dress made of dark olive silk, long enough to reach your high-heeled sandals and clinging to your shapes as if it was made to be worn over the divinity that was your body. The long, scandalous slit exposed one of your legs and the thin straps accentuated your shoulders and cleavage just perfectly. It was a dress that he himself bought and ordered to be delivered to you in an expensive box before that day. Now that very same gown was laying somewhere, discarded on the floor in the living room of his mansion.
“Sometimes I feel like you’re plotting my death,” you chuckled against his skin, the vibration of the act made him scoff because both him and you knew that the scenario you offered wasn’t exactly falling into the realm of fiction.
“If I were to kill you, I wouldn’t need to plot it. One bullet is all it would take,” he retorted with calm and despite any logic, instead of creating some distance, instead of running away you hummed at his statement and pressed your lips to the center of his chest.
You were way over fearing Sukuna and his world. The few months that you spend seeing him, you came to terms with the heavy weight of tragic fate that was now resting on your shoulders. It couldn’t end well, you shouldn’t tangle yourself with a man such as him, the path of your normal life should never come even close to the blood tainted one he was walking through. You should have never left the club with him and once you did, you should have run out his house the moment he gave you a chance. Instead of that, you stayed. That night, after the time of Ryomen’s pursue and the unfortunate event with Naoya and his gang, soon turned into two. Then just few more and then many more. The one-night stand evolved into continuous romance and though it was strewn with roses and intimacy, it came also with the realization that the more you see him, the less days you have left. There was no way for someone like you, an outsider, the mere civilian with no mafia bonds whatsoever, to be living a long life. Sukuna has enemies, there are people that want the power he holds and will eventually target you. That is, of course, if he doesn’t kill you himself over time – out of boredom or prevention. You knew a lot, he had told you more than he should.
But you loved him. You had seen him do some pretty dark things that would make most people’s eyes water, and in all honesty, it did the same thing to yours, but then, with you, Sukuna was always protective. You loved the way he always seemed to know just what you needed, the way he read you like an open book and knew just what to say or do to put you at ease. You loved the way he made you feel like the only woman in the world, how he made you feel beautiful, even on the days you felt like a total mess. He was a danger, a threat so deadly you shouldn’t play with it, he was a flame that you were bound to burn yourself on, but he was also the only person in the world you felt so safe around. Ever since you met, he had protected you. Even if his words were harsh and his own deeds rough, he never failed to envelop you in a bubble inside of which nothing and no one could hurt you.
“Oh, how much you’d miss me,” a certain sense of amusement hinted in the tone you used as the sheepish smile stretched your lips. Ryomen acted suddenly, grabbing the tiny thing that was your body and pressing your back to the mattress. His fingers wrapped around the frail of your neck; it wouldn’t take much of his strength to snap it and yet, you seemed rather comfortable with his grip secured around your airways. Over the time you managed to grow enough trust to know he won’t hurt you for no reason. Your lover was a man powerful enough, there was no need for seeding fear in you. You were also smart enough to differentiate the real danger from the playful acts. If Sukuna truly wanted you to be scared, you most definitely would be scared shitless.
“You think so?” His tone dropped an octave as he crawled above you; your bare figure now trapped underneath the weight of his presence. He got your legs between his initially, the heavy shaft of his dick rested over your lower belly as he shifted his hand from your throat down to cup your breasts. Your body seemed to never stop attract him, no matter how many times he touched and tasted it. You looked almost angelic in the dim light of that morning; the remnants of sleep still painted over your features and the only things that disturbed the innocence of your picture were the marks he had left on your plush, velvety skin. Red and angry spots that he sucked onto your flesh adorned the beauty of your frame, ultimately making you his own. “Aren’t you a little too confident?”
“I think I’m confident just enough,” you grinned playfully, smoothing over his hands, one staying on top of his palm on your breast and the other reaching up his arm to touch more of him. There was always a hunger lingering inside of you, you were never completely satiated and even if your body was utterly exhausted, you were always happy to take more. Sukuna made you feel ecstatic, like you were really his only one and though it was an illusion that you chose to believe in, it felt good to imagine yourself as his only care.
“And why would I miss you, huh? Aren’t you only a plaything for me?” The question he asked was meant to sound venomous but the sound of his voice betrayed the lighthearted intention. “Do you think I’ll blink twice when discarding you when I get bored of what you can give me?”
“I don’t think you’ll hesitate,” a chuckle once again shook your chest gently as you watched how Sukuna gently pulled your legs up from underneath him and brought one of your ankles to his face. The kisses he smeared along your shin were delicate, completely contrasting with the threatful impression that he was trying to make. He was worshipping you so openly, it made you blush every time. “But even though I know you wouldn’t think twice before killing me, I also think you’d miss me afterwards.”
Once the tender caresses finished, your calves landed on top of his shoulders as he leaned forward, squeezing a breathy moan out of you as he pushed his length into you to the very base of it, sliding on enough spit that it made the entrance easy. Ryomen learned your body through and through, he knew you can take it, he knew you’re always ready and eager to take him. Even if it’s early, even if it hurts. No matter when and where, if he told you to sit on his dick in the middle of a grocery store, you’d probably do just that and ask no questions. And yet, he knew where the boundaries are. Not once he pushed you when you were feeling bad. Not once he used you when you were not ready. The knowledge he now had about you came from observation.
“I think I would miss you,” he purred, his lips so close that they brushed against yours as he spoke. He’s got you in a mating press, filled to the brim with his bricked-up manhood and completely at his mercy. “You are addicting.”
“So keep me safe,” you whispered, cupping his face and chasing the kiss he was yet to give you. The request caught him slightly off guard. The pleading undertone made his heart clench; a feeling that he’s gone without for a decade at least and though he hated the odd sensation in his chest, he also couldn’t deny the warmth that spread throughout his body.
“You are safe with me,” the reassuring lie he followed with a heavy press onto your lips, sealing his words with his own tongue and silently promising you his protection. A vow that he wished to keep and yet, feared he won’t be able to. But now, it wasn’t important. Now you were here, in his bed, on his dick. Now there was just you and him.
Your dainty fingers found their place in his hair as he began thrusting into you. The new slick that combined with the remnants of the night made his movements easy as he dragged his hips back almost all the way out and then pushed back to the point of his pelvis clashing with the back of your thighs and your ass. The pace he set wasn’t fast. It wasn’t anything of what he’d most often pick, there was no violence intertwined into the melody of his hips. That morning it was sensual, it was deep and just rapid enough to stimulate every sweet spot inside of you. Stroke after stroke he was driving you crazy, he just barely started and already you felt yourself dripping. The filthy, wet sounds filled in the early aura and the muffled moans and whimpers accompanied them.
Sukuna allowed your legs to fall lower from where they were pressed against your chest and you hooked them around his hips. The newly earned access to his neck and shoulders you immediately used by allowing your hands to wander in the area, scratching his skin just to force a low purr from his throat. Every sound he made, you swallowed greedily as the kiss continued. Your tongues were dancing to the fiery rhythm of intimacy.
The coil in your stomach tightened all too quickly, you wished it to give you more time to enjoy what he was willing to give you but no matter how much you wanted your body to calm down, he made it absolutely impossible to achieve. Your veins were running with pure ecstasy and lust, the heated flurry that now was your brain was focused only on him, on the rhythm of his hips, on every sweet little lie that he whispered to you. Ryomen knew how to make you weak, he knew just how to angle his body to hit that one spot, the most sensitive one and you could feel him grinning against your lips. He knew you were close. The delicious squeezes that your cunt did on his girth were enough of a hint to notice and it gave him a sense of pride to be able to make you come undone so easily.
“Just few moments more,” he murmured and you nodded eagerly. Tears prickled in your eyes, gathering along your lash lines like crystals that he wished to kiss away, but was now too engulfed in the taste of your lips to part. His movements got quicker, just a little heavier as he began slamming into you with more force than at the beginning. Mornings tend to rid Sukuna from the ability to last – the ones that he spends with you in his arms, with your naked body pressed against his, unknowingly shifting against his dick for hours. That makes him unable to keep his composure for too long. Sometimes he feels like you strip him of all qualities that he once prided himself in, leaving him bare only to your eyes, with only the most primal needs exposed and he felt good with that kind of freedom.
“…don’t stop, oh god, ‘kuna~”, you were whimpering, arching your back underneath him and squeezing your little hands over his shoulders. “I can’t, I—”
“Oh, you can. Do your best,” Sukuna chuckled, teasing you with such impossible tasks. Your head fell back, your thighs were trembling against his sides and he could tell he’s losing you. You were far too deep in the realm of desire to hear his words; all of your world now came down to what you felt, to how you felt him and Sukuna loved your blissed out state. He loved the way he was the one to push you so far over the edge that you wouldn’t notice if the world was ending. But what he loved above that, was how you were gripping onto him; holding him tightly, pulling him closer as if you never wanted him to move away, as if he was everything you needed. And he was.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” he muttered against your throat, painting the skin over there with wet trails of kisses and new, red marks – the ones gentle enough to fade in a matter of hours. You moaned something incoherent. “Cum for me,” he allowed, not even sure if you’re registering his words. It had to be unconscious; the way your brain caught his voice between the blurry lines of everything else.
Your climax hit you like a rock; his name was slipping over your tongue continuously, so sweet and breathless that Sukuna was once again reassured that he never wants to hear anyone else calling him. Your walls were squeezing his throbbing length, he twitched and flexed inside you, groaning with satisfaction and before he allowed himself to come, he pushed himself up. As he sat on his heels, he pulled you with him; your body now on top of him and he used his hands to guide your hips up and down his dick. You wrapped yourself around him, finding a safe space for your face right where his neck connects with his muscular shoulder and all he needed to feel the bliss was the sensation of your teeth sinking into his skin.
White seed painted your insides as he shot it as deeply as he could reach with you on top of him. Few more moves, few more groans and you could feel him relax. His strong arms snaked around your waist as he shifted slightly to lean against the headboard, straightening his legs in front of him. You stayed pressed against his chest, catching your breath and feeling the tension leaving your body as the morning went by. And as Sukuna held you so close to his heart, he couldn’t rid himself of the feeling that it felt so right and that made the question bloom inside his brain. Was it still strictly physical? Was it ever only about sex?
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taglist: @yihona-san06 @tiredscavengerskeleton @son4aras @vixorell @cecesharktales @isleqt @thickmacandcheese @captainchrisstan @bbylime @sad-darksoul @shartnart1 @kiki17483 @grimreaqueer @phoenix-eclipses @fan-of-encouragement @valleydoll @aleeeeeeees-stuff @marifujioka @going-to-californiaxx @just-pure-trash @edenofeve @impulsivethoughtsat2am @thigh-o-saur @heyohalie @matchat3a @bubblearts @littlemisspropaganda @aconstructofamind @lawislife18 @rzcnlb @sunukissed
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malarign · 5 months
Note
hi can i get an enhypen when you are jealous ? also can you tag @chmberfve that’s my account but i’m not logged in at the moment 🩷
invidia
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contains: ot7 x fem!reader | genre: angst, fluff | tw! mention of nam joohyuk and stray kids’ bangchan and felix, honestly idk what else i have no energy to read that sorry | wc: 1,6k
author’s note: sorry it took so long @chmberfve!! hope you like it though!
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Lee Heeseung | 이희승
heeseung really loved it whenever you came backstage with them during promotions
it wasn’t something unusual though, since you were one of their stylists
but apart from preparing his makeup, you had to sometimes take care of the others
which well, he didn’t really enjoy watching
no matter how many times it happened he just couldn’t get used to it, especially today when you had to do pretty detailed makeup for jay
“Can you hold your head straight? I’m begging you Heeseung,” one of the stylists sighed countless time and just forcefully made him face the mirror and not the two of you.
He huffed and tried to watch you in the reflection of the mirror but to his dissatisfaction, you were completely out of sight.
“Open your eyes now for me,” you asked Jay, completely unaware of the simmering with jealousy boyfriend who maybe didn’t see everything, but he could hear everything.
His stylist went to grab another brush was his cue to grab a chance and take a look at the situation to his left. The view made him open his mouth slightly and furrowed his brows.
“Maybe just sit on his lap, wouldn’t it be easier that way?” he blundered out, making you stop and finally realize what your boyfriend has been going through.
You covered your mouth, in an attempt to suppress your laugh.
“You think that’s funny?” he mumbled under his nose, not completely aware of two hair rollers on his bangs that made him look rather hilarious.
“Kinda, yeah.” Your voice came out muffled.
He wanted to argue more, but he got interrupted, by his poor stylist, who now didn’t waste time to ask him, but just forcefully moved his head, saving you from another nag.
Park Jongseong | 박종성
let’s just say you shouldn’t have covered heeseung when you spotted him napping
poor boy got woken up by jay snatching it from his body
too confused to ask questions he thankfully just got on his side and continued sleeping
while jay stood still with the said blanket in his hand
giving you one of those disappointed looks
“How about you cover your boyfriend when he’s taking his nap?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
“Babe, you’re going to wake him up,” you reasoned and brought your pointer finger to your lips.
“I don’t care, why do you do?” he said even a bit louder and quicker.
He would look intimidating with the way his jaw got tense and palms squeezed in fists, if not for the pout on his lips. You couldn’t help but smile while taking a few steps to get closer to him.
“You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” you mumbled against his lips before planting a soft peck on them.
His brows raised. “Me? Jealous?” He pointed at his chest with his pointer finger. Nodding you noticed a pair of eyes watching you from the couch.
“That was so disgusting,” said Heeseung, clearly awake now and disgusted from your mushy moment.
Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤
the moment he saw you talk with felix and chan he was so happy
he really wanted you to meet them and get along
but ig he didn’t expect you to get so close in just one gathering??
unfortunately for you (and him) he’s a pouty jelly bf
so the moment it was just the two of you he asked you an unreasonable amount of questions
“Do you like Felix more than me?” You could swear he was just on the other side of your living room yet he somehow teleported next to you causing a mini heart attack.
“What? No, of course not,” you said confused, scanning his sad eyes and pouty lips.
“How about Chan? Do you think I should work out more?” he continued his interrogation with you.
A smile crept to your lips watching his manic state, but you finally had to stop this madness. Cupping his cheeks managed to make him shut his mouth and finally look at you after minutes of him avoiding your gaze.
“I’m overreacting, right?” He bit his lower lip and smiled sheepishly.
“Maybe a little,” you chuckled and gave him a quick peck. “You have nothing to worry about, though. I don’t want them, because they’re not you.”
Park Sunghoon | 박성훈
now you would definitely know when his feeling jealous by his unusual silence at home
not even your lame jokes would make him utter a word
and today you completely crossed the line by borrowing a hoodie from sunoo
tbh you knew that he would react like this but c’mon
at least you had an excuse to cling to him even more, as an apology
Sunghoon brushed past you coolly for the nth time that evening, this time nonchalantly taking a juice from the fridge you were currently rummaging through. You followed with your eyes his silhouette and scanned his features — nose raised high and adamant look typical for his jealousy now decorated his whole demeanor.
“So you’re really jealous about that hoodie.” You closed the fridge and leaned on the kitchen island.
He slowly turned his head to face you, still unimpressed. “No,” he answered shortly.
“So you are!” You poked his side and he glared at you. Before he could say something you already climbed on your toes to plant multiple kisses on his jaw, cheeks, and finally lips. “Nah, you’re not going to bribe me with kisses,” he shook his head after you were done.
“You didn’t oppose it though.” You smiled triumphantly, making him roll his eyes.
“I just don’t understand why you didn’t ask me, your boyfriend, to lend you a hoodie. You know I have plenty of them since you’re constantly cold, yet you asked none other but him…”
Kim Sunoo | 김선우
he really rarely gets jealous, though there are times he just breaks
massages his temples and sighs, doesn’t matter if you do this on purpose
unfortunately (for him) you manage to make him lose his cool with a huge success
“what about me???”
It wasn’t the first time Sunoo recommended a drama, but your excitement and investment in new episodes were definitely higher than usual. And he couldn’t blame you, who wouldn’t fall for Nam Joo-hyuk? However, your obsession started to concern him, leading to his jealousy. But you skipping edits of your own boyfriend only to watch edits of your new favourite actor was the complete crossing of boundaries.
“What are you watching?” Sunoo said snatching your phone and throwing it on the other side of the couch. You opened your eyes wide in shock and somehow managed to not throw hands at him.
“Sun, that was very important!” You tried to get it back but he stopped you.
“You must’ve lost your mind to think he is more important than your boyfriend! Hello? I’m right here!” He argued, holding your phone as far away as he could, while you fought for your life and wellbeing.
“If you saw that edit you would understand!” You tried to bribe him.
“I’m sure engenes edits are much better. Or my fancams. Anything!”
Yang Jungwon | 양정원
now it’s not easy to either make jungwon lose his patience or get jealous
but when he is he rather communicates it with you
telling you he didn’t appreciate the way you ignored him and just talked to heeseung
or how you showed your soft spot for riki and not him (honestly how could you?)
though he has one (1) weak spot which is sleeping on the shoulder of somebody who isn’t him
Jungwon tried really hard not to glare at Sunoo, though it was much harder said than done. You were peacefully sleeping, and after eight long hours of running errands, you just dozed off on his shoulder.
Why couldn’t you just wait a second for him to come back from the bathroom? He left you for not even 5 minutes yet you managed to drift away.
“Are you comfortable?” he suddenly asked, a little too loud.
Sunoo frowned and held his pointer finger against his lips. “You’re going to wake them up. And yes, I am. Thank you for your concern,” he replied and continued scrolling social media.
Jungwon pursed his lips in a thin line, knowing there was only one last thing he could do. “You know she���s sometimes drooling in her sleep, right?”
His question made Sunoo look up, first, he glanced at Jungwon then at you. “Y/n? You can now lean on your boyfriend.” Poor boy got scared of a pool of saliva potentialy forming on his jacket and quickly woke you up.
Confused you looked around and smiled at the view of Jungwon, unaware of his blatant lie continued to slumber now on his shoulder.
Nishimura Riki | 西村力
THIS BABEYY
pouts, sulking and crossing his arms were the main indicators of his jealousy usually caused by you daring to laugh at sunghoon’s jokes
they’re not even that funny? his jokes are way funnier than any of them
multiple sighs and clearing throat interrupted his every word now, all of this accompanied by his intense glares
talk about being petty and sassy
He knew what awaited him the moment he heard your laughter through the door to their dance practice room. Rolling his eyes he walked in nonchalantly, lowkey expecting you to stop but you dared to continue to be in convulsions. Tears ran down your cheeks as your hands grabbed your stomach.
“I can’t!” you managed to utter through giggles, unable to catch your breath properly.
Riki watched you carefully, waiting for you to finally acknowledge his presence. Finally, he cleared his throat, gaining your and the rest of his members’ attention.
“Hi baby,” you said, leaning on his shoulder. He usually would lay his head on top of yours yet he didn’t, making you sit straight. What hit you instantly was his visible pout. “Oh, you’re sulking?”
“I’m not,” he mumbled, but his pout sold him out.
“Ohh, somebody’s jelly!” Jake pointed to him causing a fit of laughter and the teasing began.
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thank you for reading! back to the masterlist
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nicohischierz · 3 months
Text
one in a million: luke hughes
tagging: @ivy-34, @francesfarhadi, @hzstry8, @cixrosie, @itsnotgray, @estapa94, @trevs-swiftie, @heartz4hischif you want to join the taglist let me know!!
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he searched for you at every gathering, the saving grace and the only incentive he needed to attend anything.
the two of you would often hide away from the rest of the party. consumed in a world where it was just the two of you.
a world with no responsibilities and no comparisons.
luke understood you and you understood him.
“i’m gonna miss this when i’m gone,” luke whispered.
you smiled up at him, snuggling further into his chest. luke was your calm during the storm. the one person who always put you first.
both of you wished everyday could be like this.
“so you’re going to jersey? straight after frozen four, win or lose?” you asked.
he nodded.
when the game was over, luke only searched for one person. he found you almost immediately. to him, you stood out in the sea of faces, wearing his ntdp jersey.
luke tried changing as fast as he could to meet you but the devils representative stopped him. "I'm sorry but they want you on the plane immediately," the guy explained.
"i need to see her," luke fought.
the guy shook his head. "i'm sorry kid," he ushered luke away, giving the boy a solemn look.
walking into the locker room, you noticed the sour looks on everyone's faces. but at this point, you were only looking for one face and he didn't appear to be there.
erik portillo saw you first.
he initially came to tell you he was signing with the kings but when he saw your frantic nature, he knew he had to tell you about luke's departure.
the tall swede ushered you outside, making sure you were away from the media commotion before whispering "he left sötis,".
you almost let out a laugh before looking at erik. "that's not funny erik, where is he?" you asked.
erik's eyes were a giveaway that he truly wasn't lying. luke had left without so much as a goodbye.
your breathe was shaky as you looked around the hallway, tears filling up your eyes once again.
once you were back in your hotel room, you did what any sane person would do. you texted luke, telling him what a coward he was for leaving you like that.
lukie pookie: call me
that text alone sent you into a spiral.
obviously, you didn't call him. he was the one who left without saying a word so he should be the one to pay for the pain he caused you. a pain that rivalled what you felt with the pressures of the world.
it was obvious to everyone who knew you and luke that something was going on.
the once energetic duo, now barely had the energy to say hello.
after luke left the others started to leave one by one.
nolan joined a team in russia.
the seniors said their last goodbyes before going off.
mackie signed with the panthers.
and when erik left you felt as if things were changing too fast.
you followed the swedish boy to california and stayed with him until you wrapped your mind around what was going on.
alex turcotte was shocked to see you when he arrived to training one morning. well, he was shocked to see the shell of the girl he once knew. the chicago native immediately texted jack that you were in california and asked what happened.
“sötis, you can’t hide here forever.” erik prompted. he was currently trying to find flights for the two of you back to michigan so that you could spend summer with your family.
you ignored him and ate your soup dumplings. “i’ll pay the rent cost while i’m here erik. please don’t make me go back,” you begged.
but alas, erik had enlisted the help of alex who had brought trevor along with him. both older boys had their bags packed and tickets in hand as they reached the apartment.
“listen y/n/n, we’re not taking no for an answer. now either you pack your things and follow us or we pack for you and you get stuck with whatever we choose,” trevor gave the ultimatum.
rolling your eyes, you walked into your room as the three boys followed. they smiled as they watched you pack, happy that their slight threat worked.
erik drove the three of you to the airport and gave you one big hug before whispering “stay there for two weeks and if you don’t like it, i’ll buy you a ticket to sweden,”
you nodded. now you just had to get through two weeks and complain that it was a horrible experience.
“but you’re not allowed to make yourself hate the trip,” erik added. you hated how well he knew you.
that’s how you found yourself waiting for jack to pick you, trevor and alex from the airport.
jack ignored his two best friends as he ran over to you. engulfing you in a hug, spinning you around. “i missed you squish!” he exclaimed.
you smiled into jack’s shoulder. “i missed you too rowdy,” the middle hughes held onto you a little longer before greeting his friends.
the car ride to the lake house was silent in your part as you furiously texted erik about your dislike for his plans.
upon reaching the house, you were greeted by your fellow michigan classmates. they all yelled in delight at your presence and swarmed you into a hug.
“we thought we lost you to sweden!” dylan exclaimed, his arm around your shoulder.
you chuckled and looked to alex and trevor. the two boys wearing cheeky grins as they grabbed you bags. “well if it weren’t for these two i might’ve gone with erik,” you answered.
luke looked from a distance. pain and hurt in his eyes as he watched you interact with your friends and his family.
once everyone was done greeting you, you looked up at luke and smiled. the boy smiling back at you but no words exchanged.
you didn’t talk to luke until the boys first party.
just like every other party, you were hiding away on the roof. it didn't take long for luke to find you but once he did, he was glad.
the two of you sat in silence until you spoke up. "you didn't say goodbye," you murmured.
luke's heart broke as he heard your voice crack.
"they didn't let me bubbles. i wanted to come say bye to you but the guy said I needed to get on the plane. then my phone died and I didn't get any of your calls. when I tried to call you back it didn't go through," he ranted.
at this point, you were turned to luke. tears in both your eyes as you finally spoke about your feelings over the past two months.
"you're my best friend luke and we promised we'd be there for each other. you promised you'd never leave me and you didn't say goodbye," you raised your voice slightly.
more tears were streaming down your faces. your chest rose and sunk furiously as you tried to remain calm.
when luke didn't say anything more, you made your way back into the house. you glanced at him one more time before reaching his door.
"you weren't at my debut," he exclaimed.
you stilled and turned to him. "i was there luke. i bought the first available ticket to new jersey and the first ticket i could get my hands on for the game." you confessed.
luke's eyes softened. he ran over to you and brought you in for a hug. your face was nuzzled in his chest as both of you cried in each others arms.
"i don't want to lose you again bubbles," he whispered.
"you never lost me lukie,"
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springalwayscomes · 11 months
Text
Closer
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Closer (Teaser) Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Masterlist Taglist
Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… close is not close enough anymore for Jungkook.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers
Wordcount: 27k
Content Warning: mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, swearing, pining, minor injury, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, masturbation, hand job, dry humping, multiple orgasms, love making, creampie 
Author’s Note: Hello! I had the first line of this fic stuck in my notes for a while, it stayed there without really going anywhere, then inspiration came and the miracle happened in a few days. I like this so much so I hope you will like it too! There are some parts that just do things to my heart, one of these is inspired by Gaelforce. I don’t know if you follow him but if you do you sure will realise when you’ll get there!
Let me know what you think about it, again I hope you’ll like it!💜
If you want to be tagged in my taglis to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜
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Jungkook walked in on you using your vibrator as a microphone when you were nineteen, lipsynching as if your life depended on it. 
He had laughed so fucking loud that time that you still feel your ears grow red when you think about it. 
He has teased you for it from the moment it happened, still does it now.
Back then, it was so freaking hilarious he would bring it up every time you were too mad at him, to make you laugh it off and let go of the heavy atmosphere creating between you every time you used to fight as teenagers. 
Five years afterwards, as of now, he still thinks about it from time to time. It makes him giggle when he’s in the middle of a meeting at work, when he has a stressful day, when he’s just laying in bed with his head empty. Usually, that would be the case. Now that you’re sitting on his couch with a bag of pop corns squished in your hands while the tv is playing though, is a new circumstance. 
«What are you laughing at? You’re so loud» you wince at him, monotone and annoyed.
He licks his lips, shaking his head.
«Your vibrator still haunts me�� 
It takes you less than two seconds to realise what he’s talking about. 
«You’re so annoying. Should I bring up the time you farted out loud in class too?»
«That’s not the same,» he laughs «I told you that I wasn’t feeling good but you insisted on going to class anyway»
«You didn’t go for three days straight-» you fight back, stopping yourself when the camera points on Park Seojun. 
«Gosh, this man. I’m gonna marry him someday» you sigh dreamily. Jungkook snorts.
«Cause I was sick?» he opens the fridge.
«You drank with Jin the night before. You shouldn’t drink if you’re sick. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t hold it until class was over»
«You’re so noisy» he rummages through the shelves, finally finding the bowl of strawberries he was looking for.
«Want some?»
You quickly glance at him over the counter, pop corns stuffing your mouth full.
«No, thanks. I’m full with these»
He gets a spoon from the drawer, walking back to the sofa. 
«The face you made when I walked in is still funnier than-»
«When you farted in front of the class?» you cut him off, trying to get some sense in his head.
«Hell, yeah» he laughs.
«You literally-»
«Okay, now stop!» you slap his ass before he gets a chance to sit down.
«Oh, yes keep going» he fakes a moan. You literally want to slap him hard enough to make him stop being an idiot, but you have to hold yourself back.
«Just shut up and let me see Park Seojun» you shake your head. Jungkook gets a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth, eyes falling on the screen and eyebrows pinched together.
It’s a Saturday, thanks God the both of you don’t work on weekends, so usually you both find yourself on the sofa, watching a movie or just messing around. You’ve known each other since you were sixteen, so to say that you’re pretty comfortable with each other is an understatement. Even when you first met him, the nineteen years old Jungkook never made you feel uneasy. You were inseparable. Best friends that used to sleep at each other’s place every three to four days because you were just used to it. It was natural, so natural that a lot of the people around you thought you were a couple. Back then, you would grimace and shake your head vividly, not even giving it a thought. Jungkook would laugh it off, heart beating loudly in his chest every time anyone made him imagine how it would’ve been. 
«Do you still have it?» he asks, voice low as he stares at the screen.
«What?» you murmur. He doesn’t answer, his spoon scraping against the plastic of the bowl to get as much strawberries as he can into his mouth. He munches on them, gulping down and enjoying the sweet taste.
«That vibrator» 
«Jungkook! What kind of question is that?» you stop the drama, his thigh getting hit by the remote.
«I was just asking!» he raises his hands as to make sure you understand he meant no harm, the bowl now sitting on his lap.
«Why would you ask that?» your tone makes his eyes smile first, as he always does. His eyes smile first, then his lips just follow.
«Why are you so sensitive about it? I won’t ask, but we both know you still use it» he gets up from the couch, getting to the sink to put the empty bawl inside. 
«We say filthier things when we’re in bed!» he goes on from where he’s standing at. Your head is going to explode. It’s at times like this that you rethink about your life choices. From being sixteen and dumb, until you’re twenty four and ending up with sleeping with your best friend. 
«In bed! Leave those for when we’re in bed!» you fight back, another pop corn getting shoved into your mouth.
«Okay,» he appears by your side «wanna go to bed so I can ask you?» 
You can’t believe him. 
«Jungkook!» he laughs, bright and out loud, crystal clear. It makes your insides twist and turn with the need of shutting him up.
It’s not like it’s a everyday thing, sleeping together. It just happened three times, out of the blue. You both agreed that it’s not something big, something that will change your bond or friendship, it’s just something that… you both needed? In those moments, you guess. Maybe mentally? However you try to justify it, the answer is always the same: nothing is going to change between you. It’s just sex. But for the sake of your relationship, you try to keep it where it belongs: in bed. Talking about such things outside can be confusing, it can lead your friendship too places you don’t want it to be. You love Jungkook, as your friend. Being too sexual won’t lead to good places, just a fucked up friendship and a fuckbuddy living with you.  So you both better keep your minds at bay, don’t pass the limits of friendship at least when you can.
«I’m going to get a shower» you announce, shutting the tv and getting up from the couch. His eyes are questioning, but you just tap his shoulder. 
«Put this away, please?» you hand the pop corns to Jungkook. He grabs the bag. 
«Why?» you’re already almost out of the living room when he asks.
«I’m going out tonight!» 
«With the girls?» he raises his voice a bit to make you hear him from the other room, as he looks for a peg in the drawer to close the popcorns.
«Yeah, it’s Eunji’s birthday!» you remind him. Jungkook winces, he knows what that means. You will come back home late, and you’ll end up being awake until morning cause you hate going to clubs and will feel like you have to make up for the six hours you lost in there. You still do it, for your friends, but it’s something that you don’t enjoy a lot. If you add the fact that you don’t actually drink, that makes it all even worse. 
«What about Jimin?» he’s out of your bedroom door, you can hear it from how close his voice sounds. Thank god he has a good sense of privacy, cause you’re naked. 
«They were together the whole day, tonight is girl’s night» you answer. Jungkook nods, telling himself he’s going to ask him to come over later.
«I’m taking a shower now!» you let him know the conversation is going to end, already walking to your bathroom.
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«She said it’s girls’ night, so» Jimin’s munching on a chicken’s wing with so much eagerness it looks like he hasn’t been eating for a week. 
Namjoon nods at him, getting a beer from the fridge. 
«You’ve been together the whole day, though» 
«I know» he answers, «what can I do if I want to spend every second with her?»
«I feel like I’m gonna throw up» Yoongi murmurs from beside him, giving him the most disgusted glance ever. Jungkook laughs.
«What have you all been up to lately?» 
Hoseok sits on the carpet, ready to start eating as he waits for the group’s answer. 
Jin shrugs.
«Just work. The restaurant is always full, I think I might die from overworking»
«Listen to him bragging» Taehyung pats his hyung’s shoulder.
«I’m not! It’s going well, but it’s fucking tiring! Last night I came home to Hana and…  nnghh, why am I so dumb?» he closes his eyes, breathing through his teeth. 
«What happened?» Jungkook asks.
«She’d kill me if she knew I told you this,» he gulps a big sip of beer down «you have to promise me it won’t slip out of your dead-ass mouths»
«When did we ever say-»
«That time?» Yoongi’s question gets cut off, Jin’s eyes big as they remind him of what happened last time.
«It wasn’t me! It was Tae!» 
«Yah, I didn’t do it on purpose» he fights, holding back a laughter.
«Alright, stop. Just don’t make it happen again» Seokjin gives him a fiery glance.
«She was like, really in the mood and… I told her I would take a shower and then go to bed with her but my muscles were so sore I decided to run a bath. I felt asleep. She waited up for me for a whole hour,» he takes a bite from the chicken «she was… god, what did I do? I was so tired I didn’t do it on purpose but she felt rejected or humiliated I guess… I’m such a-»
«Hyung, you were just tired» Jungkook stops his rant. Namjoon nods.
«You should talk to her»
«I didn’t get the chance, she left earlier this morning and didn’t answer my texts all day» he answers, eyes gloomy as he pours himself another glass of beer. 
«Wait for her up, she’ll come back after they are done with the club» Yoongi proposes. Jin nods.
«What about you?» he asks.
«I’m good» he smiles. A little too much, actually. It’s too bright, too much. 
«You’re good?» Hoseok smiles at him, already knowing that there’s something else. There has to be, with him smiling like that.
«Really good» he echoes. 
At this point, Jin hits his shoulder.
«Yah, give us the good stuff!» 
The music in the background fills the air as Yoongi ponders on how to explain what’s happening in his life at the moment, a big smile taking over his features. 
«I’m…» he smiles again «I’m going to be a dad» 
«What?!» it’s a scream that comes out loud, the same word coming from every single person present. The man nods, eyes teary. It makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze, to see his hyung so happy. The room is filled with happiness, as they all proceed to ask questions, hugs and congratulations getting shared. After all, he and Hyunjoo have been trying for the last year. The night is filled just like that, with jokes and laughs until Jin and Jimin decide that it’s time to go back home to wait for their girlfriends, the others deciding to stay until you will be back to say hello and goodbye to Jungkook. 
It’s when the bell rings that they know that something is definitely weird. The knock on the door too sounds eager for you, and when Jungkook gets up to open it what they hear right after makes their eyes shoot right open.
«Fuck, are you drunk? Who took you home? Why did you drink?»
«Leave me alone» you stutter as you try to walk inside, Jungkook’s arm getting to your waist. You can’t even stand, how much did you drink? 
«Who took you home?» to say he sounds worried sick is an understatement.
«Some guy with a really pretty dick» you laugh. Taehyung gets up, everyone following after him. They never saw you drunk, simply because you just don’t drink. You don’t like the taste of alcohol, can’t even gulp down a sip of beer properly without having to go brush your teeth, apart from the fact that you can’t hold it. Half of a glass is enough to make you the drunkest version of yourself; apparently now it’s not like that anymore.
«What?» the shock from seeing you like this makes Jungkook hold his words back, first he needs to make you sit somewhere.
«Grab a wet towel, or just… water, give me water!» he orders around. Someone gives him just what he asked for, and he doesnt even spend time in thanking them as he wipes the makeup off from your face. 
«Water» Yoongi gives him a glass.
«Why- you’re here! Hello!» you wave to your friends, Taehyung smiling at you. 
«My bestest friend! Tae, I missed you» you whine, grabby hands reach for his wrist, making him sit next to you.
«Yah! I’m your bestest friend!» Jungkook shakes his head.
«I missed you too» Taehyung scoffs, your head falling on his shoulder. Jungkook hisses, it’s harder to get your makeup off when half of your face is squashed like this.
«Why did you drink so much?» Taehyung tries.
«I was… feeling left out? I can’t remeber well» you murmur, chuckles coming out as you decide it’s time to mess with Jungkook. Every time he tries to wipe a part of your face, you just turn in the opposite direction.
«Will you stay still?» he shakes his head, annoyed.
«You’re a pain in the ass, Jungkook. I hate you»
«I think it’s better if you go home, she needs a shower» Jungkook turns to face Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok. They look pretty shocked, but worry is weighting down on them more.
«Are you sure? We can help you?» Hoseok tries, but he shakes his head again.
«It’s fine, I got this» 
«Don’t go! Why are you kicking them out! So annoying» you fight, holding Taehyung’s arm tighter.
«I’m not kicking them out, but you need to shower and get changed and they- just…» he turns again «Don’t worry, just go home and rest. I got this» he repeats.
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It’s 5.43 am. And it’s so frustrating that you’re laying by his side, sleeping, while his eyes are wide open. 
You might not feel good, so it’s better anyway, he tells himself.
Jungkook is annoyed. A lot, actually. Why, he doesn’t get it. Your words echo in his mind, making him bite on the inside of his cheek when he should be resting.
Did you sleep with someone? It very much sounded like it. A really pretty dick? He scoffs. The adjective sounds almost out of place, still he feels his insides burning even hotter. He wants to ask you right now, but you’re sleeping. Again, he should be too, actually. 
He decides it’s better if he sleeps on the sofa, you’re asleep anyway, so you won’t make a fuss about it. He lifts the covers, gently and slowly, then sits on the bed, a leg already out and his foot laying on the ground. The cold makes him wince.
«Don’t go» you hold his wrist, digits caressing his skin. 
«Stay with me,» you plead «I’m not feeling good» 
His defences fall down instantly. It’s hard not to succumb when you’re murmuring against him. He does it without you having to ask twice, his foot back under the warm covers.
«Hold me?» you ask. It’s low, sweet and sleepy, and he guesses you’re still drunk but he doesn’t care. His arms wrap around you and hold you close, your head lays on his chest as you would do after having sex. Jungkook holds his breath and swears to himself, he needs to slow down his heartbeat because it seems like his heart is going to combust. 
«I don’t hate you,» your voice is faint
«I’m sorry I told you I hate you, Kookie»
«It’s okay» he caresses your hair, trying to make you relax.
«Just get some sleep» he can’t hold himself back, not when you’re laying in his arms so defenceless and looking so frail and delicate. His lips land on your forehead, soft and gentle, incredibly caring. You don’t say anything though, you’re already asleep.
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«Alright, what is it?» Taehyung snaps at him, eyes fixed on the maknae. Jin nods, eyebrows high.
«Nothing» Jungkook shrugs, going back to stare at the screen. The movie isn’t playing, stopped by Taehyung. 
«It doesn’t seem like nothing» he answers back. 
Yoongi taps Jungkook’s shoulder.
«Tell it to Yoongi hyung?» he smiles. 
Jungkook scoffs. It’s something he used to tell him when he was younger, it would reassure him to know that there was someone older than him to relay on and to count on. Now, though, Yoongi can’t do anything about it.
«I’m your hyung too» Taehyung pats his other shoulder.
«Me too» Jimin adds.
«We’re all older, we got it» Namjoon looks at the two who are smiling wide at Jungkook.
«Talk to us? We could help» he prompts. 
«I just… I don’t know» he doesn’t know where to start from. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so bothered about it, it shouldn’t be such a big deal.
«I don’t know… why?»
«What? We can’t understand like this» the confusion is clear on Hoseok’s features.
Jungkook sighs, deep and shaky, head falling on the cushion of the couch.
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» he declares, bringing the back of his hand on his eyes. 
«What?» it’s Jimin and Jin, ready to ask why he didn’t tell them. Yoongi glares at them in a second, shutting them up before they even have the chance to start.
«And?» he coos.
«And- she… slept with someone else» he adds. It’s blurry, and the situation is not clear, but just seeing Jungkook like this makes all of them on the edge.
«Are you in a relationship? Or you just-»
«We’re not» he answers Namjoon.
«We’re not, but…» he doesn’t finish. 
He can’t believe himself. What the hell is this about? It’s not like you agreed on being exclusive, you didn’t even talk too much about what happened, it just happened, three fucking times. And god, how fucking good it was. The best sex he’s ever had. Fuck, he didn’t even think about someone else after sleeping with you. 
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest of choices since he’s been fighting against his feelings for six years, but until now they were pretty good. He dated, you dated, he kept them at bay and they didn’t get in the way. 
«You wish you were» Yoongi finishes his sentence.
Silence fills the air. Jungkook feels like he’s going to throw up. You wish you were, it’s the only thing playing in his head. He wishes you were. That’s the point, that’s the fucking point. He wishes you’d see in him what he’s been seeing in you for all these years, he wishes you’d crave his touch just like he craves yours, in the same way. He wishes you could share more than just a home and bills, friendship and bags of popcorns. He wishes for more, and fuck, he’s been so fucking stupid all along to think that a little taste couldn’t do too bad, to think that he could have at least that much.
«Have you talked to her?» Jin tries. Jungkook shakes his head, the back of his hand still pressed against his eyes.
«Why don’t you try?»
«Why would I? We’re friends»
«Fuckbuddies?» Jimin asks «How can you be-» Taehyung slaps him on the neck. A faint moan coming out of his friend’s lips.
«Shut up»
«No, friends. We’re friends» he slightly raises his voice on the last word, to make it clear. 
Yoongi’s eyes narrow.
«You mean you… you’ve been sleeping together but you’re friends?» 
«Isn’t it clear?» Jin looks at him like Yoongi has two heads, eyes trying to suggest something that no one gets. His head moves as to beckon him to something that’s right in front of him, Yoongi’s expression still clueless. Then, he gets it.
«Y/n! Is it Y/n? What the hell Jungkook!» he breaks out. Everyone’s eyes shot right open, Jungkook’s hand falling on his lap as he realises that there’s no way back. 
«When? Why?»
«It just… happened» he sighs, eyes closing again. 
«When?» Taehyung can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«Four months ago,» he murmurs «the first time»
«How many times? Oh, my god» Jin wants to know everything, every little detail. Not sexually, it would be awkward since you’re his friend, but every thing he can, he has to know.
«Three» 
«Three?» He repeats.
«Three times,» Jungkook says again «I don’t know what to-»
«Is it because of the guy with the pretty dick?» Yoongi asks. Jungkook tilts his head, glaring at his hyung. 
«Okay, it is»
«Talk to her» Hoseok prompts but he only gets a big, steady shake of the maknae’s head.
«She was drunk. Do you know what you’re doing? Like, have you talked about it at least? Are you exclusive with each other?»
«We didn’t, and I guess we’re not» Jungkook answers Jin, not really in the mood for all of his questions.
«Jungkook, you have to-»
His phone rings, cutting Hoseok off. Your name comes up on the screen, everyone’s eyes and ears ready to steal information, Jungkook’s thumb stopping before hitting the green icon. He takes a deep breath, then answers. 
«What-»
«Jungkook, please help me» 
Something inside him snaps, worry filling every part of his being. Your voice is shaky, fragile. It sounds like you’re crying.
«What, what happened? Where are you?»
«At home,» you whimper «I’m in the tub. I slipped and, I can’t move. It hurts» 
«Fuck, wait I’ll be there in five minutes. Stay on the phone, don’t move. Please, don’t move, okay?» he’s already on the way to the door of Taehyung’s house, their eyes fixed on him in worry. He waves goodbye before closing the door, mouthing “emergency” at their inspecting eyes.
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«Fuck, are you okay?» 
To say he’s worried sick is an understatement. His eyes travel to every part of your body to make sure that you’re not hurt, until they reach your arms covering your chest. 
«Don’t look! Give me the bathrobe» you want to cry, you feel so embarrassed that you actually could. 
«Yes!» he passes it to you quickly, helping you as best as he can with his face turned to the side. He wants to tell you that it doesn’t matter if he sees you like this cause it already happened but he guesses you might feel embarrassed or just not at ease, so he shuts up and does what he has to. 
«It’s fine, I…» your voice trembles. You hold his wrist on the side of the tub, fingers cold and wet. 
«It’s fine, it’s alright. Ssshh, don’t cry» he kneels down, his arms wrapping around you and leading your head to his chest. 
«I’m not crying» you whisper, gulping down.
«You’re about to,» he caresses your hair «I’m here. I got you» he feels his throat tightening. He was so fucking worried he run two red lights while coming home, all the ones he met. 
«I always got you» he coos. 
For some reason, his words make you shake in his hold, a faint whimper coming out as you let the tears fall. The embarrassment and the stress about the situation, the pain of your ankle and his presence seem to mix together to combine into a perfect crying solution.
«You won’t tease me about this, right?» you mumble, voice muffled. Jungkook’s heart feels slightly reassured at your words, a weak smile gracing his lips.
«I won’t, baby. I promise» he whispers.
Your faint sobs fill the air, and he feels like his poor heart will break only by listening. His fingertips dig into your bathrobe so much it’s like you feel them on your skin, his other hand caresses your hair, his breath shaky. 
He waits for your weeps to summer down and stays like this a little longer, his presence reassuring and his touch relaxing you.
«Let’s get you out of here, okay?» he asks. You nod. He’s gentle when he parts his arms from around you, gentle when he tells you to relax, gentle when he smiles at you, soothing. 
«Where does it hurt?» 
«My ankle» you let him know. His eyes travel down, hands getting wet in the water as he lightly feels both of them. 
«There» you hold back your breath, the pain makes you grimace.
«Okay, just… can you get up? Just lean on me and don’t put weight on your right leg. Lean on me» he instructs. You follow his words and try to get up as best as you can, leaning your weight on him and keeping your ankle up. Jungkook helps you out of the bathtub, his hands coming to your back and the back of your legs to pick you up. He makes sure not to hurt your ankle with any movement, eyes on your face to check in with you without having to ask.
The path to your bedroom is silent, he lays you on your bed and tells you he will change the sheets himself afterwards because of the wet bathrobe. 
«I think you need a pillow, you need to keep your ankle up» he works diligently, worry guiding him until he realises you’re set. On the bed, with the pillow underneath your ankle, comfortable, kind of.
«Do you want ice? Wait, I’ll get it with something to drink» he lets you know. He vanishes out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the ice, then goes back to the bathroom to get a towel to wrap around it so it isn’t too cold.
When he comes back, he smiles at you.
«You need to drink at least a bit» he hands you the glass. He sits next to you, looks as you gulp down the entire glass with a proud smile, his hand reaching out to take the glass back and put it on your nightstand. You stay with your mouth closed, still too embarrassed to say anything.
He puts the ice on your ankle, careful not to hurt you more than what you’re hurting already. It’s an instinct he doesn’t think of or can fight back, when he strokes your hair tenderly. It makes you gulp, heart swelling in your chest. 
«I was so fucking scared» he admits, low and shaky, almost a whisper.
«I’m sorry» you really are. He was enjoying his night with your friends after a hard week of work, and you called him and made him come all the way home, worried and-
«It’s okay, don’t worry» he smiles.
«But we should go to the hospital, your ankle is a bit swollen and-»
«Not now, please» you refuse.
«Y/n, you really should»
«I know,» you nod «just please not now? In a bit» 
Jungkook sighs, but he nods. He keeps the ice on your ankle, eyes on your face to check if he’s hurting you in any way to the point you feel your ears burn. 
«Come here?» you ask, patting beside you. He raises his eyebrows, looking at your hand on the mattress. 
«Please?» you ask sweetly. 
«The ice» he says. You shake your head.
«Just for a little, please» you gulp your beating heart down. You want him close, closer and closer. You don’t know why, but you want him so close it’s getting hard to breathe.
Jungkook can’t say no to you, not when you’re in your most fragile state, telling him to lay beside you. He puts the ice on the nightstand, next to the empty glass. 
When he lays on his side, his eyes instantly fall on your face, a bit of worry still painting his features.
Your hands move on their own, reaching his and bringing them around you. 
The atmosphere is dreamy like, a pinkish feeling invading Jungkook’s chest as he stares at you, his arms squeezing you and your eyes getting lost in his. It’s odd, how you can feel you heart pulsate, the sound echoes in your ears until they become numb. His hold seems to calm your racing mind a bit and you find yourself craving for something you can’t really touch, get a grasp of.
«Jungkook» you call. 
«Mmh?» 
«I want you» 
Jungkook feels like a leaf about to fall. Swept away by the wind, scared to fall but what if the fall is so sweet, so gentle? What if he can’t say no? He wants you just as bad as he wants you to want him. He wants you sweetly, he wants you lovingly. He wants you. Every part, every shiver, every fear and every night. Every fucking night. If he can’t have that, he’ll have to settle for this at least. He can’t say no to your love. And now that he realises, he thinks, this is the last time. The first time loving you and the last. 
«Fuck, come» he holds you tighter.
«Come into my arms» as if you weren’t already. He stays like that, seconds passing by and his breath getting rougher, he tries to  slow down his heartbeat but it’s to no use, you probably can feel it even through your bathrobe and his clothes. He wonders what are you thinking, if you want him as bad as he wants you at least sexually. It makes him breathless, how much he wishes you were his.
«I need-» he gulps «I need you close»
His body moves on top of yours, his legs in the middle of your thighs, eyes glancing at your ankle to make sure he doesn’t hurt you with his movements. It kills you, how he takes his shirt off and the light of your room kisses every single inch of his abdomen. His beautiful skin, the muscles flexing as he removes the cloth, his brownish nipples hard at the cold hair. You want to lick it, every part of him. You want to touch it, chase every ripple with your fingertips. 
«Can I take this off?» he asks. 
When you meet his gaze his eyes are made of something you’ve never seen. It’s not want or need, you’ve seen those already the other times you had sex, it’s just something else that you can’t quite grasp; you don’t focus on it too much, nodding your head and reaching you hands for the knot of the bathrobe. 
«Wait, let me» his fingers graze yours. You stop your ministrations, watching as he unties the knot, slow. There’s something. There’s definitely something. When he took your clothes off the last time, there was eagerness in his motions. There was need.
He was scared, of course he was. You guess that now he’s just glad you’re okay and trying to not hurt you in any way. You’re glad. Glad that he takes such good care of you, glad to have him as your friend. 
«Thank you» you smile. Jungkook feels his heart clench. He wishes your relationship wouldn’t be like this, for you not to thank him with that smile so uninvolved, so clear. 
He nods, hands getting by your sides to not put any weight on you.
«Keep your ankle up, please. Don’t wanna hurt you» he says. You nod, again.
His bicep flexes as he puts his weight only on his left arm, his fingers of the other caressing your clavicle. He sees the shivers on your skin as he travels lower, grabbing the edge of the bathrobe to reveal your chest. He wants to squeeze you, squeeze you so tight you don’t have any space left between you, hearts beating against each other. 
Your skin glistens, and he can’t hold himself back anymore. He raises on his calves, opens your robe so that every part of you is revealed, takes off his pants and his socks. His cock is hard, so fucking hard he’s afraid he’ll come just by the sight of you, but he wants to hold back. He has to, cause he wants to do this right, in the right way. He wants to love you even if you don’t notice it, at least for once. 
«Sit up for me, princess» his tone is like honey, and you do as he says without complaining. The pet name leaves a weird taste in your ears, you’re not used to it.
He helps you out of the bathrobe, finally having you naked on the bed. So pretty, so exposed just for him. Something inside him doesn’t set right, though. 
«Hold tight onto me» 
You’re in his arms, getting up from the bed and out of your bedroom. You wander what the hell is he doing until you get to his bedroom, confusion invading your features.
«Why?» 
He lays you on his bed, getting a pillow again so that you can keep your ankle elevated.
He looks down at you from the end of the bad, cock twitching and eyes fixed into yours. He wonders if it was too much of a bold move, but he guesses you wouldn’t see anything behind it. 
«Want you in my bed» he simply answers, transparent and straight to the point, his dark doe eyes drinking yours in. 
You just nod a little astonished. 
Of all the times you had sex, it was always in your bed. Never in his. Never your perfume stayed on his sheets, never he got to swim in the illusion of having at least a little more to keep to himself, just for him. A part of you to keep, to protect in a world that isn’t yours. 
He takes his boxers off, and god you wish he could be faster cause you think your eagerness will make you lose your mind. You want him deep inside you, close as soon as possible.
«Open your legs for me?» he coos. He looks at you from the edge of the bed, still standing. Your eyes travel all the way from his face to his cock, it stands straight up to his belly button, the tip red and angry, veins displayed. If you’re not seeing wrong, there’s a bit of precum leaking out from his tip, but maybe it’s just the light playing with your eyesight. 
You do as he says, opening your legs as much as you can for him to see, careful with your ankle. He bites down on his lips, his hand getting to the base of his cock and wrapping around it, just squeezing it.
«I love your pussy» he breathes out. The way he sounds makes you clench around nothing and when you see his hand stroke up and down his needy cock your mouth opens in awe. 
«I’m obsessed, want it every day» 
You squeeze your thighs together, how can he speak so filthy but sound so angelic?
«That can’t happen» you warn him. 
Jungkook nods.
«I know» he answers. It kills him. It fucking kills him, to have a taste and then having to let go of it. 
He gets to the bed, kneeling in front of you, his eyes on your face. 
«I want you on my tongue» 
Your yearning is making you crazy, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping by now.
«Please, Jungkook» 
It sounds so good, to hear you say his name like that. In such a filthy way, totally unfiltered. 
«Gonna give my baby what she needs»
His hands touch your thighs, he gropes your skin with his digits, so soft it makes him want to fucking lose himself and get lost just in the desire. His sentence makes you wetter, but your heart beats louder for some type of reason. 
«Please» you plead again. 
«I got you» he reassure you, he lays down on your body, face close to yours. His lips are close, so close you think he’s going to kiss you but he just lays a kiss on the corner of your mouth. 
«I always got you» he whispers, his eyes looking into yours. His hand caresses your cheek, something that adds too much to this, to you, to the both of you. It leaves you wordless, shaking.
A second later, he’s back between your legs,  his hands grabbing your thighs in the gentlest way he ever did. 
«So beautiful» he murmurs to himself as he looks at your pussy juices leaking out. It’s so fucking inviting that he can’t hold back anymore. His mouth lands on your clit, so soft and pillowy, he kisses it. A strangled moan comes out of your mouth, and he lays another, and another. His tongue starts to glide between your lips, up and down he gathers your juices and then sucks onto your clit, your back arching on the bed.
«Oh, fuck» you moan. It makes him eager. Eager for more, eager for you, ciclo by fervent. He wants it all.
He sucks on your clit again, harder and for a time that seems endless, the pleasure that takes over you is tingling and consuming and your mouth opens again in a silent moan. He lets it go with a popping sound, he blows on it, kisses it again, sucks again as his tongue plays with it. Your hands reach his hair, they tug at the strands as you moan out loud. It’s so good, so good you’re not going to last long.
«So good» your hips shoot up, whines come out of your mouth.
He feels drunk, lost in the taste of you.
«Yeah?» he coos. His tongue rubs your clit deliciously, the pattern changing from up and down to side to side and circles, it makes you lose your mind. 
«What if I do this? Take all of you in my mouth?» 
It’s unreal, how good he can make you feel. He takes you all in his mouth, from your clit to your hole, sucking on every part he manages to get, then sucks on your lips. His hands move on your stomach, eyes on your face as he grabs your breasts in his palms. He squeezes them softly, fingers rubbing your nipples, filthy wet sounds filling the air. It’s embarrassing, the amount of wetness through your folds, how your juices keep leaking out at just a look at him. You don’t think you can hold back. Not when he’s sucking on your clit again, his fingers grazing your nipples as he moans on it in his mouth. He doesn’t think he can get any other pussy, after yours. It’s too good, it’s perfect. Just perfect.
«Gonna- Jungkook» you shiver.
«Tell me, talk to me, baby» he moans on your pussy, his tongue poking at your hole. 
«Fuck, I think I’m going to- cum» 
His tongue feels so good inside you, your walls tight around it and your juices wetting all of his chin. He wants your wetness everywhere, on his chest, on his thighs, on his fucking bed. 
«Please, let me see» he begs. 
«Cum for me» 
One of his hands come down, his fingers rubbing your clit. You don’t have the time nor the voice to tell him that you’re going to, cause god, it feels so fucking good you don’t even know how to speak anymore. You just see him, his eyes staring at you from between your legs, nose brushing against your folds, his tongue deep inside you. Your legs shake, your breathing is rough.
«Cum for me, angel» 
And you do. You cum so fucking hard, you don’t even realise what is happening, how your juices flow out and drip onto his sheets,  how Jungkook presses down onto the mattress to get some sort of friction, how he gulps down your juices as if they were the tastiest thing he ever drank. 
He kisses your clit, your lips, every part of your pussy he can get a taste of, your inner thighs.
«Fuck, I only want your pussy» he moans, the fingers that left your aching clit now wrapping around his thickness, your juices on his cock make his skin glossy. You’re such in a haze that yes, you nod.
«Fuck, yes» you sigh. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you, he simply can’t. You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you’re so vulnerable and exposed for him that you make him helpless, totally fragile.
«You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you cum» his voice makes you open your eyes, finding him still between your legs. 
«Come here» you struggle to let your voice out. 
«Want you close» 
His heart shakes. 
«Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you» he breathes out, laying on top of you. His voice is shaky and you feel his hands travel from your thighs to your stomach, then to your chest. They reach your shoulders, one of them cups your cheek, his eyes study every part of your face. He looks at the flush of your cheeks, how they turned to a reddish tone, your lips swollen from your teeth biting at them, your hair messy all over his pillows. In his bed, his at least for now.
«I want you, only want you» you whine. 
«You have me» he wishes you could notice, that you’d realise, look at him and mean your words just how he means them. He just rubs his cock against your folds, though.
«Right here» he moans. Cock rock hard, so fucking ready for you. 
«Please» you just keep pleading, you can’t hold back. You don’t even care if you just came and your pussy needs time to recover from the tremendous orgasm you just had, you just want him inside you. 
His cockhead brushes against your clit, a strangled moan coming out from both of your throats, your eyes focusing on his just to see that’s they were already there. Jungkook smiles at you so softly as his cockhead finds your hole and pushes in that it feels too much. Too much affection, to much loving. Too lovingly. It makes your insides twist and turn, and you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you don’t have time to voice your feelings cause a second later his cock is deep inside you, filling you up to the brim.
You just shut your mouth, take everything he has to give. You want it all, you don’t care.
«Fucking perfect» he whines. His cock never felt so good, your walls squeeze him perfectly, your pussy so wet he can feel your juices already pour down to his balls.
«Wrap around me,» he moans faintly «please»
Your legs move on their own, the pain of your ankle shooting up to your leg. You grimace, eyes squeezed shut.
«Careful with your leg» the worry makes him still.
«Lay it on the pillow, up» he whispers, his hand reaching your calf to guide it back down. 
«Like this» he kisses your temple. You sigh when you feel the softness of the pillow and your weight supported, the pain untying a bit.
«Does it hurt?» his words soothe you and you open your eyes to look at his face. You shake your head.
«It was just for the movement. It’s going away now» you answer. Jungkook nods, his fingers brush away a little strand of hair that’s keeping your beautiful face away from him.
«Like this it’s good, is it okay for you?» he asks. His hand holds your hip, your leg wrapped around him, the other on the cushion and Jungkook’s cock buried deep inside you still. You can feel it throb even when it’s still, you wonder how is it possible that he’s holding himself back so much.
«It’s perfect» you whisper. His eyes, smile first, as they always do. His smile comes right after, and you don’t know if it’s the atmosphere or your vulnerability for everything that happened but it makes your heart swell. You want him around you, you want him everywhere, all over you, inside of you.
He looks down at you, moves his pelvis back and then forward again, you wrap your leg tighter around his waist. Your arms come around him, his passes under your back as the other stays on your hip, his cock rutting inside you makes you whimper. He kisses your neck, sucks on your skin, moans in your ears. 
«Love it so much,» he shivers, eyes closing from the pleasure «getting to have you like this» 
«Feels so good, Kook» you whine.
Jungkook fucks into you slow, but his motions are firm and he knows exactly where your buttons are. Apparently, it didn’t take much for him to learn, it seems like he knew them all along, from the first time. 
«Yeah?» he coos, his digits dig into your skin.
«Yes» you moan out loud, only guiding him closer. His cock is perfect. You love it, could never imagine a better dick. 
«Tell me, baby. Wanna hear you» he doesn’t stop, only squeezes you tighter. Your breasts against his hard chest, your nipples brushing against his skin, every curve of your body against his.
«Your cock is so perfect» you tell him. He wants to look down to where he’s inside of you but doesn’t want to miss a single thing, not even a crumb of the pleasure taking up your features.
«I love it so much, the best cock ever» your voice is muffled and your fist comes out from behind his neck to press against your lips as you speak. 
«Please don’t» he whines, looking down at you. 
«Wanna hear you, don’t hold back» 
Your fist goes away. Your fingers dig into his skin again, surrendering to his request and letting your voice come out free. 
Jungkook makes love to you. It’s so sweet and so slow but so good that you’re lost. Lost in him, lost in the feeling and the pleasure. 
«Keep your leg up» he instructs, letting your hip out of his grasp. He kisses your nose, his hand travels between your legs, his middle finger on your clit. 
«Oh, Jungkook, fuck» you wail, the pleasure adding up. He moves his finger in circles, up and down, from side to side, just like he did with his tongue before. It makes him jerk inside you, throb with every thrust, bite down on his lips as he looks at your face and feel your walls clench around him. Your mouth opens, eyes looking at him through your lashes, pillowy lips ready to be kissed. 
«I want to make you feel so good,» he groans, «want you to think about this when you’re alone» he moans. 
«I want you to give it to me, all to me. Mine» he whispers onto your lips, breath hot on your face.
«All mine» 
«Fuck, yes»
Your walls are so tight, pulsating so hard. 
His finger keeps rubbing your clit, he moans when he brings it a bit lower, feeling his cock pounding inside your pussy, your pussylips spread around him, your wetness gathering at the base of his cock. His balls slap on your ass, the sounds filthy and wet, so incredibly wet.
«I’m going to- yes, feels so good» you breathe hard, his finger back on your clit rubbing faster. Your legs shake and you feel his cock dripping precum in your cunt, all of his length pulsating. 
«I want you to look at me when you cum,» he pleads, tone shaky «please look at me» he whines. If you weren’t on the edge already, you think you would probably be just by the way he sounds. He’s so sexy you think you won’t ever be able to get over this. You’re going to think about this for sure, hell if you’re going to.
«Kook, I- I…»
«Ssh, let go. Just let go and look at me» he coos sweetly. He’s holding back, he’s trying so fucking much to hold back that his cock is over sensitive and he doesn’t think he will last much longer. Your walls squeeze him perfectly, so fucking soft and warm around him, so wet, so beautiful. 
«Give it to me, love» he doesn’t notice, not until he says it. It just slips out, naturally. You don’t say anything, head burying deeper in his pillow and your walls tightening around him.
You come all over his cock. Your juices make it harder for him to control his pace as you contract sp tightly all over him, his cock still moving inside of you, your arms wrapped around him. You’re trembling but you still find the strength to cup his cheeks, eyes looking at him for all the time just like he asked you to. You watch him as he moans, fucking into you with the same pace, his cock so hard. One of your hands travel down, between your bodies and down to his cock, his tight balls in your hand. You cup them, massage them a little. Jungkook’s features grimace, a loud whiny moan filling the air as your fingers on his cheek caress his skin.
«So beautiful. Cum for me, please» you plead. His heart beats so loud it’s going to explode, and a second later he’s shooting his cum right deep inside of you, hot, thick and long spurts of cum filling you up to the brim. His lips touch yours, as he keeps cuming. They brush against each other and a second later he’s succumbing to them, moaning into your mouth as his hips fuck his cum into your pussy, your leg still keeping him close and you fingers on his cheek. 
The kiss is slow and not really controlled, his tongue touches yours and brushes it, your lips eager for each other but moving slowly. It kills him, the way you wrap your arm around him to bring him closer as if he wasn’t all shattered into pieces already. 
You kiss for long, he still fucks himself into you slowly even after coming down from his high, your body still tight to him. When you part, you feel your chest on fire. His eyes look glossy, his lips red and wet, his baby hair sticking to his forehead. His movements stop, the last trace of a kiss on your clavicle right where it all started, and then he comes out of you. He lays beside you, eyes staring at your face. Silence fills the air, your breaths the only thing audible.
«Kook» you call.
«Yes?» he hums.
«I need another shower» you laugh.
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The atmosphere is odd. It’s thick. You want to go out of your bedroom and ask him what is going on exactly but for some type of reason, you’re holding back. There’s just something in the air.
Last week has been weird. 
You would come home when Jungkook was already there to find the dinner on the table, covered with a plate so it wouldn’t get cold, some days with a post it. 
I already ate, I’m going to bed, I’m a little tired.
I’m going out, but I cooked you dinner. Rest well.
Work was hard today, I’m going to sleep.
Since the two years you’ve been living together, you’ve always made sure that the one coming home later had something to eat, without having to cook when you’re both too tired. You do it for him too, when he comes home late. That’s what you did on Thursday and Friday, but when he came home you weren’t expecting him to literally eat and go to bed after putting his dish in the sink. 
The dinner was odd too, he made small talk, but there was something that didn’t feel right, as if it was a bit awkward. When you both stayed home on the weekend your friends filled the place on Saturday, and on Sunday, he just spent the day in his bedroom beside coming out to make lunch and dinner together.
You knocked on his door once or twice, asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or just chill together, but he said he was tired.
Something is off. Maybe he’s really tired, at dinner today he mentioned that work has been hard lately. 
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You start to wonder if you should be worried. If Jungkook is stressed and needs someone to talk too, if you’re being just a shitty friend and shouldn’t give him all this space, if you should grab him by the shoulders and tell him to talk to you about what is going on. He doesn’t seem to have closed up with your friends though, on five days he spent three evenings at their place this week. Maybe it’s just you seeing things.
You should talk to him, cause you’re worried, and you miss him. You miss your friend.
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«Jimin’s on his way too» Eunji announces, grabbing a pile of glasses. She places one for each of you on the table, then takes a look around.
«I think everything’s set?»
You nod, Hana and Jin appearing by your side with the side dishes. 
«Let’s put them on the table» Jin grabs six of them all together.
«Yah, don’t order us around. This is my house, not your restaurant» Yoongi slaps his hyung on the ass, his friend glaring at him. Hyunjoo shakes his head at the scene in front of her, her belly has just started to grow, three months into pregnancy. She looks so beautiful and happy that your heart throbs in happiness.
«Where are Namjoon and Jungkook?» she asks. 
«Namjoon will be here in ten» Hoseok answers.
«I’ll call Jungkook» you announce.
You’re about to go to get your purse, but the door rings, so you wander towards it. Jungkook stands behind it, soft hair reaching almost his shoulders, his bangs framing his pretty face. His eyes stare directly into yours, eyebrows cocked. 
«Oh, you’re here?» he asks, as if he wasn’t expecting it. He stays still on the doorway, hands by his sides. 
«Yes?» you smile as best as you can, not really knowing what to do.
«Everyone is here» you remind him. Jungkook nods eagerly.
«I know» he nods again. You move to the side to let him in. 
«I was about to call you» you say. He takes his coat off, hanging it with the others.
«I was stuck in traffic,» he shrugs «I thought it was the same for you, since you worked late too today» 
«Oh, no. I left earlier» he nods. And then, it’s silent again. You just stare at each other.
He doesn’t know. How to do this properly, how to go back to who he was, the friend you had before he realised it was too much to hold back. Every time he looks at you, it’s too much. He feels like you’re taking all the oxygen, leaving him with the smallest amount and not able to breathe properly. He tried. He really tried. He told himself that yes, it can be fixed. He repeats it to himself everyday, but something just makes him stop. He’s too… he guesses he just needs space. To get over you, to learn how to look at you differently, just like before he knew, when he was younger. Maybe he won’t ever be able to go back at that point, but at least to when it was bearable to look at you from afar and just have a small part of you? 
«Jungkookah!» Teahyung yells from the kitchen. Yoongi peeks out from the living room, he smiles brightly at his youngest friend, his arm wrapping around his shoulders. 
«Leave him alone, he just got here» he yells back at Taehyung. In a bunch of minutes, everyone is gathered in the living room, sitting on the carpet and ready to have dinner. It’s been a while since you all gathered to have dinner together, and the atmosphere is light. Everyone is laughing at something, new jokes being made and happiness shared. It makes you appreciate what you have, how every single person in this room means something to you, something beautiful. You’re lucky, very so.
But as you go on, you can’t help but go back to your old habits. Searching for Jungkook’s smile in the midst of the laughters, look for his eyes when you start to talk about something that happened to you during the day. You find him nodding at someone, eyes going back to his dish when you speak. And you can’t help but feel in the wrong. He’s mad at you, maybe you did something to make him upset, something that apparently is very much important to him. This has to be the reason why.
You realise how much you value him. His thoughts, his words, the way he makes you feel like there’s someone you can lean on, someone who’s got you. You realise how easy it is to enjoy his company, to feel happy thanks to him, to feel loved. And how cold it is without him, lost. 
You’ve always been inseparable, since you were sixteen and he was nineteen. Your pieces fixed together so perfectly that you didn’t have to worry about fighting with each other, cause you both knew that nothing was going to change between you. You went through so many things together that you can’t even remember all of them clearly now. He’s your safe place. And even though you know that this is perfectly fixable and actually nothing too dramatic, you just feel lost without his complicity. 
«Y/n?» Hyunjoo shakes his hand in front of your face, her striking smile brings you out of your thoughts. You nod.
«Oh, yes I’m listening»
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«You don’t know what you’re doing» Namjoon’s hand falls on Jungkook’s thigh, lightly slapping it. He shrinks on his side of the sofa, eyes shutting down.
«I know» he whines.
«That’s at least something» the hyung scoffs. 
«Did you talk?»
«No» he lets out. If it wasn’t already clear enough, Jungkook is in very much need of advices.
«We just…»
«What?»
«We don’t speak-» he stops to gulp «like we used to»
Namjoon can’t believe what he’s hearing. 
«What? Why?»
«Cause we simply don’t, it’s complicated»
«It really isn’t» he fights back, slapping his hand on his thigh for a second time.
«Why?»
Jungkook sighs. 
«I just… I think I need time to- get over her or whatever this is, I-»
«You have to talk to her, Jungkook,» he shakes his head, unbelievable «if you don’t, she’ll think there’s something wrong. You have to be clear and-»
«I can’t» he bites down on his lips, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Sleep is getting to him and the fact that tonight he didn’t sleep well makes it even worse.
«I can’t tell her»
«It’s worse if you don’t! Your friendship is not going to be fixed magically» 
«That’s the reason why I need time» he blubbers. 
«And the reason why she’s looking so gloomy» Namjoon’s response dejects him even more.
«I know I’m being a dick,» he stares down at his feet in the slippers «but I can’t lose her»
Silence is the answer that accompanies him. The cheers coming from inside the room sound muffled, the light of the moon softly grazing his skin. Just the thought of you not by his side sends a shiver of fear through his spine. He doesn’t want to get to know what it is like to be without you, he can’t.
«Don’t you think that maybe a part of her… at least a small one-»
«No,» his voice is faint «not a small one, not even a bit» 
It stings. So fucking much, it burns. 
Namjoon sees it clearly, the pain written all over his features. To be truthful, he’s always noticed it, even when Jungkook didn’t know. He saw the way he looked at you, his smile when someone mentioned you, the way he would talk about you or what happened to you the day before, the way you made him laugh while doing the dishes, how he was ready to put you first, even before him. It actually makes it hard for him to understand, how it took all this time for Jungkook to realise. 
«Even when you were- like intimate?» 
Jungkook’s eyes shoot right to his hyung’s face. He always tries not to think about that, for as much as he can. Even though, some nights your hands on his skin haunt him, your moans in his ears, your taste on his lips.
«I don’t think so» 
«Did you kiss? Like, or I don’t know, was like- two friends having sex or- what was it like?» 
Jungkook wishes he didn’t ask. Cause bringing the thought of you looking so vulnerable and ready for him in his arms sends back feelings he tried so hard to hold back in the last two weeks. 
«It was…» he takes a deep breath, letting the air out from his mouth.
«Consuming» his breath gets stuck in his throat.
«We were just…» he shakes his head «it wouldn’t be the same for her. I loved it in a different way»
«Maybe,» Namjoon pats his shoulder gently «but how was she? Like, was she like the 
Y/n you always hang out with? Like- you know, how awkward it can be when two friends fuck, come on» he chuckles lightly, not really wanting to be explicit about the two of his best friends.
«She was sweet. Like, so sweet. The last time, she…» he closes his eyes, munching on his lips. The scene playing in his mind leaves him in agony, it’s pure torture to remember you in such a crude state, all for him.
«She was in pain. When she called and we were at Taehyung’s place-»
«That night?» Namjoon’s eyes shoot wide open, mouth hanging as the youngest nods.
«She was in pain, she hurt her ankle. But the way she looked at me, kept me close… the way she opened up to me just- it kills me to remember her in that way» he sniffs. His eyes are glossy. He wishes there would be a better way, an answer written somewhere, a safe recipe to follow. 
His friend understands that he can’t ask more. Jungkook is in pain. And he wishes he could do something about it, even though he knows he can’t. So he just hugs him, his hand patting the youngest head to comfort him at least a bit. 
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«Jungkook!» you yell from your living room. You’re tired. It’s becoming too much, and you need to talk, right now. 
You don’t hear any answer, so you stride to his room. The knock on his door makes him grimace, eyes staring directly at it.
«Come out,» you stare at the white wood, arms crossed in front of you «please» you add, voice softening.
He lets go of his clothes, laying the folded pieces on the bed more carefully than the others. 
«I cooked you dinner, I left a post it» the door opens, revealing him in all his height, hair still a bit wet from the shower. The black hoodie he’s wearing makes him look smaller and it involuntarily warms your heart a bit.
«You said you were going to sleep» you murmur.
«I am» he says.
«You’re not,» you shake your head «you’re mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Please, just tell me, it’s killing me» 
Jungkook stares at you blankly. His eyes scan your features for what seems to be an hour. He shakes his head slowly, guilt takes over him, the displeasure clear on his face. He softens, a step towards you and all of his defences fall down.
«I’m not mad at you» he’s sweet, voice covered in honey. 
«You aren’t?» your arms fall at your sides.
«You’re mad. There’s something off, you’ve been ignoring me for the last two weeks»
«I-» he cuts himself off, closes his eyes for a second. 
«I wasn’t… I…»
«Please, just talk to me» you plead. You can’t stand this atmosphere, not with him.
Jungkook shakes his head, his arms wrap around you in a tight embrace, it’s all he can do.
«I’m sorry. It’s just that work has been rough and I’m all over the place, just- I’m sorry» 
The knot in his throat is getting thicker, but he can’t say more. He knows he’s been a dick, a total idiot.
«You say that but I…» you shake your head on his shoulder, your arms move around him and you feel him sniff. 
«I promise there’s nothing wrong» he whispers, he moves his hand up and down on your back to soothe you, the other keeps you close.
«I’m sorry» 
«Talk to me» 
His hair tickle your skin, the itch makes you rub your face on his shoulder to tone it down and his hand fists the cloth of your shirt.
«If you feel like you need to vent or just… anything» your back shakes, and he knows you’re about to cry. Tears don’t fall though, you try as best as you can to not make your sensibility take over you even though your eyes are burning.
«Ssh, don’t cry, please» he sounds pleading, voice faint and shaky. It’s killing him for real, to not open up to the person he loves the most, you’re his best friend, his person. And he just wishes so much his feelings never showed up, that he didn’t look at you so differently from the way you look at him. 
«I will. I will, I promise» he blows. 
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The atmosphere in your house feels light. It’s back to normal, with Jungkook walking around the place on a Thursday night, his voice echos in the kitchen as he wipes the floor, one of the songs he’s been listening to lately getting sung over and over again. 
«Jungkook, you need to see this» you call from the sofa. His eyes travel to where you are, the light of the kitchen shines stars in his irises and the beanie he’s wearing makes him look so cute. He leaves the broom carefully balanced on the side of the counter, his feet tiptoeing towards your spot. He squats down, eyes squinting at your phone.
«Woah!» his excitement makes you giggle as his hands zooms in the picture. 
«It’s our niece? I need to call Yoongi hyung! Did he send it to you?» 
You nod, a big smile on your face.
«Wait, how do you know it’s a girl?» 
Jungkook shakes his head.
«I can feel it» he beams.
«Where is my phone?» 
«I think you left it on the sink» you answer. He nods eagerly, getting back up. The way he hops all the way to the sink makes your turn and laugh, he’s so dorky you want to slap his cute little ass. 
«Fuck, I stepped on the dirt!» he whines, stopping right away. You laugh even harder, hands grabbing your stomach as he huffs and gets his phone. He comes back to the couch, falling on it with a thud and raising his feet on his knee. 
«Don’t do it here!» you scold, still laughing. He simply giggles, wagging his toes at you.
«Clean it for me?» he laughs. You want to puke.
«Ew! What’s wrong with you?» he laughs so hard you start laughing again too, looking at him as he just simply wipes it on the carpet. You roll your eyes, pinning a mental note to vacuum it later.
«Aigoo, I never walk without slippers and now this happens» he complains, shaking his head. 
He quickly finds his hyung’s contact and puts the call on speaker. 
«Jungkookah» Yoongi’s voice fills the room, the younger smiles brightly at the screen.
«My hyung is going to be a dad! Yah! Bring us out for dinner» you slap his thigh, glaring at him. Yoongi laughs, totally expecting his request.
«I will. You saw the ultrasound?» 
«Of course I did,» he nods «I feel like it will be a girl. Am I right?»
«We don’t know yet. It’s too soon, but I don’t think so. Hyunjoo says it’s a boy» 
«Really?» he narrows his eyes. 
«How was it?» you ask, the excitement is uncontainable. You’re so happy for your friends, can’t wait to meet the little one.
«I cried,» he laughs, «I thought I would hold it in but I cried. Fuck, I’m so happy Y/n» 
«I know,» you chuckle «how are the cravings?» 
«Ugh, getting worse» he whines.
«I came home and she was eating pickled cucumbers,» he moans out of disgust «made me go back to the supermarket cause she needed mustard. Couldn’t she just send me a text before» he shakes his head even though you can’t see him.
Jungkook chuckles, his body getting limp on the cushions.
«That’s what you get for making me clean the ten servings of noodles you spilled the other day» 
«Yah! I had to set the table!» 
«You were the one who spilled all!» he fights back.
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Jungkook is really trying. And it’s going fine, it’s not hard to enjoy his days with you, it is never been. You just have chemistry together, you laugh almost all the time and never find it boring to be together. It’s just. 
It’s just the way his eyes linger on your rosy cheeks too much, he has to remind himself to look away, back to the movie playing on your tv. Or last night, when you were dancing to your favourite girl group’s new song, the way your lips curved into a beautiful smile, hair flying in the air and he had to hold back his smile, too big.
If he looks back to all these years, it makes him laugh, how fucking long it took him to realise how much you had of him. You spent entire days together and he would still do the same as he does now, stare at you mindlessly just for the sake of admiring you, then getting back to what was happening around him. It’s always been here, this feeling. It just took him so much to come to surface and even when it did he tried so hard to make it go away, push it down inside him until it became too much too bear and it hit as fucking hard as what you mean to him. All he repeats to himself is that he just has to do what he’s been doing all along, right? He lived with this for years, a day more won’t hurt him. 
«What are we doing tomorrow?»
He eats the last bite of pizza, cleaning his hands with the tissue.
«Yoongi’s taking us out for dinner» you answer, getting up to clean around. You grab the boxes and the glasses, the coke under your arm.
«We have to go grocery shopping» he adds. He sees you nod, you put the boxes on the counter and the glasses in the sink, make sure the coke is well closed and then put it in the fridge. It’s almost empty, the redness of the gochuchang box parked on the first shelf stands out too much with nothing beside it.
«Yes» you nod. 
«Are we going early? We can have breakfast out» 
He gets up from his spot, waddling to you. A big smile is all you need to understand his answer. Breakfasts out are the best. 
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Breaksfast out means getting up on time. Something you both struggle with, since you spent yesterday night awake until late. Jungkook has the tendency of staying in bed until he’s at least a bit awake, staring blankly at something as he sits up, eyes puffy and hair messy. You just storm out of the bed knowing that if you don’t you’ll fall asleep again in a matter of seconds. 
You knock on his door, no answer in sight. 
«Jungkook!» you call again. You hear the shuffles of the covers, his cute mumbling words that haven’t been invented yet.
«Get ready, let’s go have breakfast» you say. You hear him moan as he stretches, take it as your chance to go back to your room and shower. 
It takes you both twenty minutes to kind of be ready for your day, your eyes both puffy and a bit red. You decide to go to your favorite cafe and when you arrive a wave of excitement washes over you. It’s been so long since you had a nice and relaxed breakfast outside, the feeling of being free the whole day and not having to worry too much. Jungkook watches you smile as you order and play with your phone as you both wait for your food, his pinkish lips curling up into a beam. It feels good to see you like this; relaxed, happy. It reminds him of when you were younger, with less burden on your shoulders. 
When you go grocery shopping together it usually ends up with him pushing the cart and you filling it up, he points at a snack from time to time and you end up adding it to the rest. You come home for lunch, watch a movie right after until your eyes start to fall shut, so you decide it’s time to take a nap. Jungkook stays on the couch, wanting to see how it ends. You fall asleep well, sleep for two hours straight until your alarm rings. Silence fills the house when you wake up and you guess your friend is probably napping too, so you tiptoe out of your bedroom to get a snack, until you hear him.
He’s working out judging from his grunts coming from the bedroom in front of you. You’re used to it, Jungkook likes to stay active and just fills his time like this from time to time when he has time. 
Just, this time your mind wanders. You hear his sounds, picture him sweaty and with his muscles flexing, his eyes focused and his jaw clenched, his breath rough… until you’re wet, pulsating. You hold your breath, close your eyes. And you go back to your room, shut the door.
Scenes of him eating you out play right in front of your eyes, his moans. You end up on the bed, your trousers off and your panties pushed on the side of your lips. There were times when the thought of him in this way turned you on after you stared fucking but you always pushed them away, telling yourself that it’s not right. Just, this time they hit you harder. It’s been a while since you had sex and the way he sounded just makes you want to open his door and… you shouldn’t do that. Just focus on you, you think. 
Your fingers graze your clit, go lower to get your wetness on your fingers then go back to their initial place. You see him between your legs, his fingers inside you and his dark doe eyes staring directly at you. You hear him whisper, telling you how good you take his cock, how your pussy wraps so good around it, how good you make him feel.
The image of his cock fills your mind, leaving you with the need to suck it and hallow your cheeks around it, his grunts filling up your ears, the sweetest sound ever. You feel his fingers, delicate and warm, they touch you and caress you, his kisses on your lips. 
You see him on top of you, telling you to be careful with your ankle, eyes worried and arms wrapped around you. You feel loved, for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t belong to a friend. You feel admired, beautiful. The way he looks at you with pure affection makes you hiss, his words in your ear and your bodies tight. 
Feels so good, getting to have you like this.
See him pounding into you at the slowest pace, his fingers gracing your clavicle, his hair on your shoulder. The way he checks in with you to make sure that you’re enjoying this as much as him, begging you not hold back your moans.
Gonna give my baby what she needs.
You shiver, legs shaking. 
His fingers on your clit, his cock brushing against your walls with each thrust, his whines. The way he called you. 
Ssh, let go, his voice faint as the pleasure takes over him, his balls tight, give it to me, love. You cum, silent and incredibly hard your orgasm hits you like a wave during a thunderstorm, impossible to hold back and too good to decline. 
You lay on the bed, breath stuttered and eyes shut. Your heart beats too loud. 
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The first time you had sex it just happened. You don’t know what exactly went through your mind, the reason why you had to start it all; your body moved on its own. Jungkook was tired, arrived late at home and was sleepy. You cooked him dinner, kept him company while he ate even though you had dinner already. You listened to him whine about his day, the tiredness evident in his voice. A few minutes later you were on the way to your bed, already too intertwined with each other and with the new feeling bubbling up between you to stop whatever the hell was happening. 
The second time, it was pretty much just the same, you didn’t go to each other with the intent of fucking, but you ended up just like that, with his cock in your mouth and his eyes on your face. 
The third time, it was because you ended up talking about what was happening and how you should behave, how you should keep your friendship away from your rendezvous. It stared just like that, but again, you didn’t really behave that much.
And then, the last time. 
You never once went to each other with the intention of fucking. You wonder when is it going to happen again, in what way, the reason that could start it all. Would it be so bad if you just grabbed him and started it? Does that make your relationship different ? It would, you guess. But is it any different not looking for it but don’t say no when it happens? You don’t even know why you’re thinking about such questions, when you should be focusing on work. Today was stressful, you had a ten minutes lunch break because you had to go back to the papers on your table. You’re tired and your period is on the way which is probably the main reason why you’ve been feeling horny for the last four days. You should just leave it as it is or take care of it on your own, not really into casual sex with strangers or clubs. You wish you were more like Hana sometimes, enterprising and more likely to be ready to have some fun before she used to date Jin.
Your phone rings, displaying Jungkook’s name.
«Hey» you answer. 
«I’m bored» he whines from the other side. You picture him with his head falling back and his eyes shut, pouty lips.
«What should I do?» he stretches the last word out, childish tone. 
«Cook me dinner please?» you try. 
«Already did,» he huffs «when are you coming home?» 
«I have so much work to do, I don’t know» 
He whines again, leaned on his stomach his cheek is squashed against the cushion of your couch, arms by his sides and his legs kicking the air. 
His voice comes out muffled: «Please, I’m so bored» he complains. 
«Jungkook, I’m working» you sigh.
«Can I come?» he stares at the screen pleadingly, his ankles crossing as he flexes his toes. He eagerly takes the phone in his hands, eyes stuck on your name. He had a long day today, and even though he wishes he could go to bed already even though it’s only 8 pm, he’s not feeling sleepy nor tired, quite the opposite actually. Being alone in the living room is boring him too much, and he doesn’t feel like going to to someone else’s place, giving the usual noisy meeting they usually have. He just wants to relax, but not on his own. 
«Kook-»
«I’ll let you work, I promise» he begs, «I just want company»
If he could be an emoji, he’d probably be the one with the moist pleading eyes. You know it, the expression he makes when he craves for something, and that’s exactly your weak point.
A deep sigh makes his way out of your mouth, he can hear it from the phone. Silent follows right after.
«Okay, bring me food though please? I’m starving» 
«Yes!» he punches the air with a fist.
«I’ll be there in ten, I think. Just text me what you want to eat»
«The dinner you already made?» you ask. Jungkook licks his lips, this time the silence fills his part of the call.
«Okay, then be there in twenty I guess» he huffs.
You shake your head, what a moron.
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You realise in this period you’re really all over the place. And you also ponder, how long is it been since you had sex with someone? Not Jungkook, someone else. Jungkook is your friend, you shouldn’t think about him when you’re touching yourself to get some stress out or just when you’re craving for sex. It’s not right, it’s not the place of a friend. It’s making you stressed, to think about sex and link it to his face in your mind. You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you think. You also thought about telling him that it can’t happen again, but it seems like it’s not going to happen anyway. You’re glad. 
So for once, tonight you let Eunji and Hana take you to a club, with just the intention of trying to take your mind off of it. Your methods didn’t work until now, so maybe theirs will. Your friends know you too well though.
«There’s something wrong, I smell your frustration from here» Eunji inhales dramatically, a grimace forms on her face right after.
«Ew, it smells bad. Like onion and soju mixed together» she likes her tongue out disgusted. You laugh, Hana shakes her head.
«That’s the guy behind you» she points at the man dancing his ass out on his own, totally drunk.
«For real though, what’s wrong?» 
Both of their eyes linger on you. You sigh.
«Just feeling a bit overwhelmed» you shrug. Your friendship it’s deep, meaningful, full of memories, you know you could tell everything to them and they would understand. You could even tell them about the rendezvous you had with Jungkook, but that would put you and him in a not so comfortable position with your friends, the last thing you want is for them to think that you have sex with each other consistently. 
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» you announce. Eunji coughs on her drink, Hana’s eyes shoot right open. They stare at you as if you have two heads, still on the dance floor. 
«Oh, come on! It’s not that shocking. I-»
«We need to sit» Hana takes you by the hand, Eunji following right after. The couches are not really big, but you fit into one without any problems. The people are less here, the smell of alcohol and sweat too, thankfully. 
Their attention goes back to you; «Is he someone we know?»
«Why would you? No,» you shrug «you don’t know him»
«Is he good?» Eunji sips from her drink. That’s a weird question, not the one you would firstly expect from her.
«What? Why?» 
«You seem stressed and you said it yourself that you’re overwhelmed, so it’s either one of the two: he’s so fucking good that you can’t stop thinking about it or he totally sucks» straight to the point. Hana caresses your shoulder, glaring at Eunji for her ways even though you know that deep inside her she wants to laugh.
«No! He’s- I mean, he’s… good. It’s something else that bothers me»
«What?» Hana coos.
«He’s my friend, and it just happened. Different times» you explain.
«So you’re fuck buddies now?» Eunji raises her eyebrows.
«No! It just happened, we don’t do it often. I just… I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like we see each other in that way. We have a good friendship, like- we value each other. Every time it happened, it’s not like we were expecting it or-»
«That’s worse, I guess» she shakes her head. You’re about to say something, but her words leave you wordless. 
«What, why?»
«Listen, I don’t think you can be friend and still sleep with him. If you had sex, that means you’re attracted to each other. Even if it’s not in a romantic way, it just… If it just happened, girl, there was sexual tension between you. I guess» she adds the end just because your expression is giving her shivers. The look on your friends’ faces screams panic.
«It would be better if you had a clear answer on what you are. Like… mmh, you know I’m bad at explaining things!» she whines, «Hana, please help»
Your friend sighs.
«Y/n, is this thing still happening? Like, are you still sleeping together?»
You shrug.
«It’s been a while,» you let out «actually, that’s the problem»
«You want to-»
«No, I don’t» you cut her off.
«I realised that it’s getting too much. Like, I think of him too much in a sexual way it’s making me feel uncomfortable»
«That’s what I meant» Eunji nods. 
«I’ve been there. Remember Hyun?» she chuckles. 
Of course you remember him. The guy was not really close to her, but it was the start of a friendship still. They used to have sex everywhere, their friendship ended up with them fucking each others brains out, after two months, they couldn’t bare it anymore. The atmosphere was heavy, too much sexual tension without even really having a conversation. The fact that Jimin started to find interest in Eunji made her end it even faster.
«We’re not like that though. We have a good friendship, we trust each other and-»
«And you have sex. Not regularly, it happens without any expectations. So it means that you don’t see each other as fuckbuddies, but there’s sexual tension. That’s the base for a relationship. If you put sex into the mix, you end up with butterflies in your stomach. I’m just saying that if you value him that much you should be careful. Understand what you want» her voice softens at the end, but you’re too upset by her words to notice. Eunji hates to be the one saying this, but she has to try at least. You need to know what you’re doing, set some boundaries wether you decide to do something or the other. 
«Y/n, you know that we love you. Eunji’s just trying to-»
«I know» you nod, a knot in your throat. 
«I just… I need to go home, need to clear my mind and sleep over it» you sigh, monotone. Your hand grabs the pochette laying by your side, eyes scamming the club that suddenly seems to little. You shouldn’t have slept with him in the first place. You know that you don’t feel feelings towards him, but thinking about him in such ways… it makes you feel guilty, like your friendship could lose its meaning, like it’s stained. Like it could get out of control. It’s too much to think about him when you’re alone deep at night, like the last one, his face invading your mind when your fingers are deep inside you, even though you’re trying not to picture him. 
«Now?» Hana asks, the worry in her eyes is clear. A glance towards Eunji and they’re both nodding, communicating with each other without having to speak. They know you too well, they could see the panic in your eyes even with theirs closed. 
The way back home it’s short, the music playing in Eunji’s car does nothing to ease your mind even though it’s your favorite girl group, your friends glance at you from time to time from the rear view mirror. When you get off and say goodbye, they wait for you to shut the door behind you to look at each other, eyes wide open and jaw hanging. 
«Jungkook» the name is crystal clear, both of them letting it out with a shocked expression.
«It’s fucking Jungkook» Hana nods.
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Jungkook didn’t think that coming back home early meant this. 
You said you had company, texted him twenty minutes before he got off work, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of company. He was expecting Eunji and Hana, maybe Taehyung or some of your friends, a coworker maybe. Definitely not you getting fucked in your bedroom by someone he can’t identify. 
This is torture, it’s all he can think. When he arrived nothing seemed weird or odd, expect for the fact that he found the living room empty. As he started getting closer to his bedroom, he realised. And fuck, the slap he got on his face, the punches that hit him on the stomach and on his chest left him breathless, his injuries in pain and itching, his eyes shutting. 
This is torture, it really is. 
He moves from the hallway, goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and wet his face with cold water.
He can’t stay here, not in such a moment. Not when he can hear you like this, with someone else. It hurts. Fuck, it fucking hurts, it stings, it tears him wide open all the way from the inside to the last layer of his skin. His eyes burn, lips twitch. And suddenly, he’s sobbing. Sobbing in his bathroom, his reflection pitiful and broken. His breath is rough, cheeks stained from the tears, vision foggy. A whimper comes out of his mouth and he bites on his lower lip, repeating to himself that it’s okay. But it’s really not.
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Jungkook’s eyes are swollen, puffy. You think it’s because he’s still half asleep, but when you meet his eyes you’re taken aback. He looks tired, as if he didn’t sleep well, but they’re a bit red. He cried? You didn’t hear him coming in yesterday night, you knew he worked late and left him dinner ready, but when you woke up today his food was just where you left it, the table still set. 
«Kook?» you coo from the counter. He hums in return, head hanging low on his shoulders and eyes staring down at his legs, he sits on the couch with the tv playing in front of him. 
You turn around, wash your hands quickly and dry them with a paper towel. You tiptoe to the sofa, glance at him from the side. Your senses are tingling, there’s something wrong. 
«Kook, look at me?» you ask sweetly. He stays still, fingers fidgeting on his lap. He thought you were still sleeping, his room felt too tight to stay in it any longer. He wishes you had different opinions on open spaces, when you were looking for a house. Maybe you wouldn’t have seen him with a wall dividing the living room from the kitchen, and he would be tiptoeing back to his bed already.
«Please?» you try. 
It’s to no use. All you can do is gulp, worried for what’s going on.
«Is something wrong?» you ask.
«Did something happen?» 
He doesn’t answer. He knows if he opens his mouth now he will start crying again. Maybe you should just sit beside him and wait for him to open up. You turn around the table, take a sit next to him and pat him on his shoulder. 
«Koo» you call again. He doesn’t even look at you. Your hand stays there, trying to give him some comfort but it only makes him want to break in a loud cry. 
«Please» you whisper. 
Yesterday, he thought about going over to Namjoon’s place or just anyone else’s, but he didn’t want to show how miserable he was. Thankfully, that guy was out ten minutes later. What a fucking joke, if he found just a bit more traffic coming home he wouldn’t be feeling like shit now. 
Your hand leaves him, you get up and for a second his lips tremble, his walls falling down as he thinks you’re giving him some space. But then, you kneel down. In front of him, right between his legs with your fucking beautiful eyes staring at him. Your expression changes; the worry gets more urgent, pressing. 
«What happened?» you’re breathless. You’ve never seen him like this, it scares the shit out of you and he can see it perfectly. You reach your arms around him, his breath cuts off.
«Don’t» he whines, voice faint, pleading. You don’t understand what is happening, your head is spinning. You put your arms back down.
«Talk to me» you whisper. He has tears in his eyes, his lips are red as if he’s been biting them all night long. He turns to the side, his eyes burn when he stares at the wall without blinking. His lips tremble. 
«Koo, please. I’ve got you»
The dim breaks. His chest shakes, expression contorting as the first tears start coming out. He sobs faintly, shakes his head to himself and looks down to the ground. It’s physically painful, to see him hurting this much; you wish you could take it all away from him and make it yours, if only that was possible you’d do it even if it hurt ten times more. It couldn’t hurt more than this, though.
Your hands wrap around him, holding him so tight to you that you feel his sobs vibrate against you. 
«I’ve got you» you soothe him, caressing his hair. With your warmth around him and your caresses, everything falls down into pieces. Every part of him breaks harder, the tear gets wider and deeper, your words of reassurance fill the wounds up but don’t sew them, they just make them heavier to the point that they pierce him and make him empty. Your hold suffocates him and your warmth is painful, your caresses bluffer him. 
«I- I c- Please I-» he shakes in your hold, not able to speak. Your eyes burn, seeing him like this it’s atrocious. 
«Breathe» you beg, holding him tighter.
«Please breathe for me Jungkook, breathe» 
He hears how your voice is shaking, sniffles as he tries to breathe properly, sobs bubble up from his chest when he inhales. Your cheek brushes against his neck, you leave a kiss out of comfort and his hands instinctively fist your shirt. He tells himself to slow down, think properly and hold back but with your loving arms around him it’s a nightmare.
«Ssh, it’s okay. I promise» you whisper. Time slows down, you just focus on his breathing. One thing at a time, you tell yourself. You, need to calm him down first, you need to see him breathing properly, at least a bit lucid. Stroking his back up and down you think about what you can do to make him relax. You’ll make him some tea as soon as he’s doing better, it will soothe him at least a little bit.
«I’m here for you» 
Jungkook’s breath moderately calms down,  his sobs still come from time to time, but you have all the time in the world. You don’t care about how long it’s going to take him to stop crying, you just know that you want to be here, need to. It’s desperate, the need you have to make him feel better, almost consuming.
«I’m- ngh- I’m sorry» he hiccups. He buries is face in the crook of your neck, his cheeks are still wet and his hair tickle you.
«So sorry- I’m really-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» you repeat. You keep stroking his hair, Jungkook seems to quite down the more you do it, his hold gets firmer too as if he’s trying to anchor himself. 
«Did something bad happen?» you try. 
He moves in your hold, making you squeeze him tighter until you realise that he’s looking for a way out, so you let go. He wishes it was this easy, that his feelings could let him free just as easy. With you between his legs,  it gets hard to breathe again. The way your eyes linger on his face, scan every feature and every expression, even the way he bites the inside of his cheek. 
«I… I’m sorry» he mumbles low. This time, his eyes look at you. Clear, transparent, vibrant fear lingers in them with so much weight that it takes away your braveness. Jungkook’s eyes stay in yours even while they fill up with tears again, they don’t budge. The knot in his throat gets back, your presence suddenly feels blissful and he wishes he could just linger in this feeling. The feeling of you being close even if it’s only like this, keep being satisfied with only having a part of you.
«It’s- too painful» he breathes. 
«What is it?» you look at him from down, with your glassy eyes and he just-
«I- I… I love you» his voice trembles. 
Silence fills the room.
His words make a dull sound in your head, your body stiffens, lips ajar. Jungkook is frightened, totally stuck in place. His heart beats so fucking loud that it will explode.
The shock it’s too big and it stops you from letting the three words sink in, all you can do is stare at him blankly as he holds his heart in front of you.
«I’m- I can’t,» he shakes his head «it’s too much. I just… it’s killing me» 
«You…» you gulp «you don’t mean it that way, right?» your voice trembles.
«It’s just- we-» you shake your head, take in a deep breath.
«We shouldn’t have- it’s because we had sex. It has to be because of that cause you didn’t-» you stop talking. 
Jungkook stays silent, his chest burns, the tears in his eyes get uncontainable, until he breaks again. His shoulders tremble and he sniffs but it’s so silent that it’s even more consuming. He looks at you with such eyes, such vulnerability and fear at the same time, as if he was a stray puppy and you his possible saviour or his next predator. It scares you. And you understand his answer, because you know him, because it can be seen from miles away. 
It’s not because you slept together.
«I need-» it’s hard to breathe properly «I need air» 
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He’s confused, he mistook his emotions, most surely. It has to be that. How can- how can it be not? You’re his friend, his best friend. The one he likes to tease, the one that knows him almost as deep as he knows himself. The person he- this can’t be right. It simply can’t.
You can’t come back home. You really can’t, he needs space to think this through; you need it. You need peace, somewhere to relax, to just don’t think. If you go to Eunji’s place maybe- she will ask. Hana too, and what about Jin and Jimin? Maybe a hotel room is the best choice, in that way you won’t receive questions, no one will get curious. 
Thank god you had your phone in your pocket when you went out and weren’t wearing home clothes. You book an hotel room not too far, call a cab since you left your car keys at home. 
You can’t face him now. 
You walked a lot today, wandered around without a destination and ended up sipping a bottle of strawberry mogu mogu on Han river. Your phone buzzed at lunch time, then again at four pm, another time just fifteen minutes ago, but you didn’t take it out of your pocket. It scares you, because you know that it’s him. 
Your hotel room is a beautiful one, has a big double bed with fluffy pillows, big bathtub, snacks in the fridge, a beautiful view on the eighteenth floor. The big buildings and the city lights make you feel small, the look of the man at the reception desk too. He probably doesn’t care about the reason why you’re here instead of sleeping at home, but your mind does. Maybe then, you’re the one who makes yourself feel small. Still, you don’t want to care. You can’t go back home, not now. What would you do? What would you tell him, how would he look at you? You need time. 
When you lay on your bed, your phone buzzes again. You breathe in as you open the messages.
From Jungkook🐰 12.37pm
I’m sorry. I cooked you lunch, I left the food in the oven so it will still be warm when you come back. I ate early to give you some space. I’m really sorry
From Jungkook🐰 4.13pm
Where are you? Please be safe. Your car is here, do you want me to come and pick you up? Or I can call a taxi. Just, please be safe
From Jungkook🐰 7.54pm
Y/n, I’m worried. It’s dark outside and I went out to look for you but I just don’t know where you are. I cooked you dinner, so if you come back it will be in the oven too. Just text me so I know that you’re safe at least, please
From Jungkook🐰 8.33pm
I’m really sorry, please come home. I’ll go to Taehyung’s place if you need to be alone. Where are you? It’s dark outside and I’m really worried
Guilt takes over you, makes his way through every single part of your body until there’s not a single piece of your skin that isn’t drenched with it. Your fingers move on the keyboard, eyebrows pinched together.
From Y/n🧸 8.36pm
I’m safe. I booked a hotel room for tonight, so don’t worry. I need a bit of space, so I don’t think I will be back tomorrow. 
Jungkook’s fingers never typed an answer so fast.
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
I was so scared that something happened
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
Please eat dinner and don’t skip your meals
From Jungkook🐰 8.37pm
I won’t text you if you need space. Just, do you want me to bring you your car keys? You left them here
From Y/n🧸 8.39pm
No, it’s fine. 
From Jungkook🐰 8.39pm
Okay
From Jungkook🐰 8.45pm
I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I just need to tell you this: I will always have my arms empty for you, whenever you need a safe space I will be here. As we’ve always done with each other. Please remember this. Sleep well 
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You wonder how is it possible, to be friends with someone for so long and don’t notice that there’s more. You wonder when it begun, how. Where did the friendship end and the love begin, the boundaries. Which one of his gestures where made out of friendship, which were made out of love. How did he realise. Why you. 
For the three days after you left home, all you told yourself was that he was confused, that he mistook his feelings, that it can’t be true. After you spent yesterday night walking in the streets, took another walk on the Han river and even dared to eat dinner on the riverside, a good look at the waters took your mind back to his eyes. To the way he looked at you, his eyes clear, transparent and full of vulnerability and fear when he opened up to you. What if, he’s always been in love with you, it’s always been this way. What if he’s not misinterpreting his feelings, what if he really loves you. 
It scared you even more than the day before.
You never saw him that way, your friendship has always been just friendship for you. Until- well, it’s still friendship. Eunji wouldn’t say so, but for you it is. So where does love start for you? With attraction most of all, you guess. With the want and the need to feel someone in more ways, physically, emotionally, sentimentally. With wanting to be whole. Love is… butterflies, feeling loved, giving love, taking care of each other. So where is the boundary? The boundary of friendship. 
Because fuck, today you start to wonder, you think that Eunji is right. 
What do friends do? Are you not allowed to feel all of that and still call it just friendship? What if, what if you are the one mistaking yourself? What if it’s something else, what if it’s not just friendship anymore. When did it start, when does it end. You’ve always craved this things with Jungkook. Always craved for physical touch, maybe not in a sexual way before, but what if you just didn’t ponder on it too much because you’ve always restrained yourself into thinking that you were just friends. You’ve felt the need to share, to the point that you got a home with him. You’ve always wanted him emotionally, always were ready for him in whatever occasion, always felt close to him. You’ve always felt loved, you’ve always gave love back. You always took care of each other with all yourselves.
Would you do all of that for any of your friends, for Taehyung, or Namjoon maybe? 
You’re not too sure. You don’t think so.
Is it the same with them? Of course not. You would do anything for them, but you guess it’s not in the same way, not as deeply.
What about before, even before the first time you had sex. Because maybe, it could be that you’re thinking this just because you slept together? Like, you could be the one mistaking your emotions now. 
You still felt this kind of connection before, though. With the Jungkook who was just your best friend. You don’t feel it for Namjoon who’s just your friend. You don’t feel that kind of tight embrace around you when he lingers his eyes on you for too much, his laughter doesn’t make you giggle like Jungkook’s. You don’t feel lost when he’s not talking to you or not meeting your eyes when you look at him. You wouldn’t want to have anything more with him in the first place, cause he’s just Namjoon. And for god’s sake, you wouldn’t have wanted it with Jungkook neither, if you didn’t feel already more. The fact that you were already ready to just welcome him in when the opportunity of being closer knocked on your door, well… that’s the answer. You still remember it, the frustration of seeing him so tired and the need to make him feel better after a shitty day, the need you had to take care of him when you first slept together. 
You were never just friends. Maybe in the first place, maybe at the beginning, maybe when you were younger. You just simply got used to him and his presence, never really gave your eyes a chance to see clearly, never really made yourself look at him differently because he was just… your Jungkook. 
But, what now? Is he still- Jungkook? Like, your best friend? Now that you realised, now that you understand the reason why you wondered when the next time was going to be, how; the reason why his eyes slipped in your mind at night, his words, the way he called you the last time you slept together. 
Now that you realise that, could you go back to who you were before? Just, craving for his touch but telling yourself that it’s not okay, looking at him and wishing you could take away all of his tiredness but thinking that it’s normal, for a friend. Wanting to take every part of him and know it all, looking from far away, peeking out and stealing some but not getting it whole. Could you still do that? Cause before, you didn’t know at least. Now, could you? Sentimentally too, would you be okay with it?
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Jungkook just wants to go to sleep and forget about the shitty day he had. He didn’t sleep well tonight, the house feels to empty without you and last night his brain just wouldn’t stop working, kept wondering about you. If you had dinner, what time did you go to sleep at, how much did you work, if you finished the last drama you were watching. 
Today, it was pretty much just the same. The fear of you not coming back insinuated in his mind at some point during work, he even took a break and had a snack but he just kept picturing himself inside your house, all alone. Him without you, his best friend and his person. He typed on your chat for multiple times, asking you if you were eating your meal correctly, how work was going, if you were craving for ice cream just like he was, he texted sorry too, but he always ended up not sending the messages. 
He’s tired, work was rough and he wishes he could just go back in time to ask you what you want to eat for dinner, he’d cook it even though he’s tired as hell. He wouldn’t sleep for three days straight, if that would be able to bring you back just to have dinner together. 
He hates to know that you feel uncomfortable with him, can’t come back home because he’s there, that you won’t look at him in the same way as you did before. He hates to not have you by his side, when just a look could make him happy. 
The guys packed him on the shoulder, told him that he did the right thing, but he doesn’t think so. These days have been hell. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about the way you looked at him, how he stuttered those words out and doesn’t regret it. 
Today they all had lunch together, with Eunji, Hana and Hyunjoo too. It was so odd to not see you there that he kept spacing out all the time. The girls didn’t talk about you and he even though he wanted to he didn’t ask because probably you didn’t tell them what happened.
The elevator doors open and the end of the hallway looks so far from here that he wishes he could teleport. Even the passcode of your door seems too complicated to enter now. He types the first three numbers, his eyes glued on the screen.
The door clicks, a grimace on his face, lips pouty in confusion. Then, your face. 
Jungkook looks at you as if you hung the stars in the sky, as if you were one of them. His eyes open wider, lips ajar, his shoulders fall down. He feels like he’s dreaming. Is it real? You’re home. When did you come, why? What- fuck, he feels like he’s going to cry.
The way he looks at you with his big starry eyes, it makes you gulp. How your fingers tingle for the need you feel to squeeze him tight and never let go. There’s a knot in your throat and all you can do is stare at him and linger in the feelings that hit you like a fucking bucket of cold water. And it’s bitter that they taste like they always did: the sweetness is the same, the audacity just bolder now that you let the door open: but they taste just the same. All this time, all these years. They’ve always been in front of you, you’ve always been way to deep and only realised after so much. 
«I… I- I cooked you dinner» 
He doesn’t budge, still on the doorway and with his eyes glossy. You reach your hand to him, Jungkook still stuck in place as you gently grab his wrist to make him come in, his body almost stumbling at your touch as he enters.
You close the door behind him, leave his wrist. 
«You- you… what? Are you…» he shakes his head, totally astonished. 
«You cooked?» his tone makes your lips stretch into a smile.
«I cooked,» you nod «I cooked us dinner» 
You didn’t think your heart could beat this fast. You really didn’t notice it for all this time. Every time it happened you always blamed it on something else, not the man in front of you. When his words would make you feel comforted, when you’d search for his eyes in the room, when just his presence was enough to make you feel at ease; in every moment the emotion you’re feeling now would bubble up in your chest just for you to push it aside without even noticing, a tag with the label friendship covering its true pinkish colour.
«Take your coat off» you coo. Jungkook stands still for a few seconds, still stunned. His eyes stare at you blankly until he nods. He puts his bag on the ground and hangs his jacket, you watch him move, eyes lingering on every part of him that you missed too much. His long hair, the bangs on his forehead, the mole on his nose, the one right under his lips. When he raises his eyes and finds you staring, you don’t move your eyesight. His eyes pierce right through you, deep and transparent just like the last time. They are scared, vulnerable and totally defenceless; if you looked closely enough, maybe you would’ve always seen it. 
«Jungkook, I…» 
His arms wrap around you. 
It’s tight and soothing and the fucking consuming. You squeeze him in your hold, your head falls on his shoulder and you know that you can’t hold it in any longer. 
«I’m so sorry,» you sniff «I was selfish. I’m sorry. I- I just-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» he sniffs too. The tears burn his eyes as he tries to keep them in but having you here in his arms makes it harder. He feels you hiccup, your back shakes, your hands fist his shirt, and your nose muffles into the crook of his neck. He clenches his jaw, squeezes you tighter.
«I’m sorry too»
«I was so scared. I just- I didn’t realise»
He knows, fuck he knows. He just wishes you wouldn’t vanish away. Don’t, just don’t cause he doesn’t think he will be able to forget himself.
«It’s okay, you don’t- just please don’t leave me» he whimpers. 
Jungkook breaks down in your arms. He loves you too much, values you too much to not have you in his life. He doesn’t care how much he has to hurt or hold back, he can’t do this without you, without his best friend. The house felt so empty without you.
«I won’t,» you sob «I promise I won’t. I’m sorry I made you worry and left. I needed time and- I- I needed to think» you sniff. His hands stroke your hair and you let go of a deep breath. You missed the feeling of his caresses, how his touch is always been enough to sooth you.
«You didn’t do anything wrong» he whispers. A tear streams down from the corner of his eye, it tickles his cheek and makes him loiter in the warmth of you even more.
«No, I- I was selfish… you opened up to me, and I- I left you. I’m-»
«You’re here,» he whispers «you came back. You’re here with me, you- you didn’t leave» his voice breaks and you feel him tremble. Your heart clenches and stings in your chest as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
«Just- please,» he pleads «stay with me» 
Your dim breaks. You shake your head, lay your lips on his neck. He whimpers as he hiccups and when you lay a soft kiss on his skin Jungkook feels like dying inside. Your lips are so soft. Your nose brushes against him, another kiss laid on his skin just right upper, then another one and another one until you’re just under his jaw, his breath unstable as the tears wet his skin. Your hands leave his back, your body parts slightly, his hands reluctantly let go of the hold he has around you. You cup his cheeks, soft and reddish from the crying, look at him in those beautiful stars. They’re a bit swollen from the tears, his cheeks are damp, his lips trembling. 
«I was so fucking scared that I didn’t realise»
«Me neither,» he nods «but it doesn’t- it doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave. I can’t-» he gulps harshly. 
«The thought of not having- you by my side, it killed me. I- I couldn’t sleep, work was hell, I-»
«I’m not leaving you» your hand tenderly strokes his hair. Jungkook stay still as you dry his tears with your thumb. You want to slap yourself for causing him so much pain, he must’ve felt so scared already and you just- you just made it harder. You should’ve talked to him, should’ve faced him.
 «I promise» you smile softly. Jungkook could implode for how happy he feels right now, with you smiling at him just in the same way as you used to. Your lips tremble and a new hiccup comes out. His arms go back to where they were before, they squeeze you to him and it’s so familiar and bittersweet, it smells like home and trust and all you can do is let go in his embrace.
You let the rest of your tears come out, hear his breathing slow down, feel his heartbeat against you. You kiss his jaw, your lips tickle his wet skin, your hand reaches behind his neck and Jungkook wishes he could just take his heart out of his chest and step on it, make the feelings go away. But it’s just too saccharine, the way your lips linger on his skin for a second too long, how you perfectly fit in his arms.
«I want you,» you whisper «I want you whole» you lay another kiss on his mandible.
«I want every part of you, every- everything you can give» you peck his chin, look at his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t understand, his eyes wide and glossy stare at you as if you were telling him to solve the hardest mathematical problem ever. Still, he looks at you with such tenderness that it makes your insides twist. He’s lost, totally. 
If his love could be represented, he’d paint you in pinkish colours, then in black and white, in blue and all the colours in the world. He’d make a different version every time just to admire at your face some more, to keep the next one to himself when the lights will make the one before fade, so he’ll always be able to meet your eyes just like now. Remember the feeling you light up in him.
«I love you» 
It’s odd, how lives intertwine. How people can take and give from each other pieces that can’t be seen, how two roads that never meet can lead to the same place. It’s beautiful, the way you speak. It’s dreamy. Its dreamy, the way you look at him, the way he used to look at you for all this time, it’s beautiful how your lives intertwined, how you became each other’s mystery and answer at the same time. How you’ve walked together for all this years, silently hand by hand but without ever looking down at them, not even knowing. 
Jungkook laughs. He laughs as his tears fall down and he thinks that maybe the world will end, cause his head is spinning. You chuckle and your eyes are wet, and suddenly your hands cup his cheeks again.
«I love you» you repeat. He shakes his head, sniffing totally in disbelief.
«I do» you laugh, nodding. His head stops. His eyes widen slowly, the look on his face makes you bite down on your lips, it’s like seeing the sky clear after a thunderstorm, as if the sun was peeking out from behind the dark clouds. His mouth opens.
«I do» you whisper. 
Suddenly he wants to cry even more. Your lips lock with his and it’s so gentle and sweet, and oh god, so consuming. You take all the space, every cellule of his body, all the air in the room, in the house even. You leave him breathless, lungs burning on fire. His lips are soft, wet with tears, salty. Jungkook whimpers in your mouth, his hand reaches your face and fuck, there’s no end. No end to how fucking much you have of him, how much of him is yours. 
His thumb strokes your cheek, his other hand falls on your waist. His tongue is warm, his eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks, both of your hearts pounding. You kiss slowly, sweetly, lovingly. You wish you could never let go, have him like this forever. And for the first time your thoughts are the same as Jungkook’s in this moment. If he could read your mind, how big  would be the smile stretching on his face. Jungkook smiles on your lips, his teeth brush against your tongue, his digits on your waist lightly dig into your skin. When you part, your eyes are still shut, foreheads pressing against each other.
«I’m sorry,» you mumble on his lips, he shakes his head, pecking your lips with such tenderness «I’m sorry it took me so long to realise»
Jungkook is the happiest man in the world.
You came back, you’re in his arms, you love him. You fucking love him, you do.
«It’s okay, it’s perfect. You- just please come to me» he guides you close to him again, you shut your mouth when his warmth wraps around you, his eyes shut. You don’t want to let go, you won’t. 
«Jungkook» you call softly. He hums against you neck, his lips dare to peck your skin and he can’t fucking believe that he gets to do it cause he simply can.
«When did you realise?» 
«I already knew» he murmurs.
«But… on Eunji’s birthday… you came back home and were so drunk. You slept with someone else and I just- I guess my feelings were so strong that I couldn’t control them anymore»
«I slept with someone?» you ask, your head shooting up too look at him. Jungkook nods.
«You said he had a pretty dick» he chuckles for your choice of words, even though he can still fill it sting. Just the thought of you in someone else’s arms makes him heart clench. 
«Oh! No!» you laugh, «Jungkook, I didn’t sleep with anyone. He was peeing outside of the club and I was so drunk that I kept repeating him that he had a pretty dick for all the way home» you explain.
«Ew, it’s so embarrassing. Eunji made him take me home because he’s her brother’s best friend» 
Jungkook can’t believe his ears. His eyes are about to roll out of his sockets for how wide they are.
«You- I thought…» he shakes his head.
«I didn’t, you know I don’t feel comfortable in those type of situations» you shake your head.
«Even though… last week I-»
«I know» he murmurs.
«You know?» he nods. 
How does he? You don’t understand, how is-
«I came home early and- I… heard» his words are faint, a thin line that holds all the pain his heart was stained with. It echoes in the room, gets back to your ears until your eyes widen and you feel disoriented.
«So you-» you can’t even process your words properly «I’m so sorry, fuck» you really don’t know how to apologise. He was at home, while you were under another man. He heard you. His eyes were swollen the next morning, that’s why. He couldn’t even look at you. 
«If I knew, I wouldn’t- I…» 
He smiles softly, his heart clenches. 
«You’re in my arms now» his lips tremble slightly.
«I just kept thinking about you and when it was going to happen again. I kept telling myself that we shouldn’t have slept together in the first place, I felt guilty that I thought about my best friend in such ways and- I- I told myself that it was happening because I hadn’t slept with anyone else for a while»
You do your best to explain without getting your words intertwined, but Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change into an angry one, he doesn’t glare at you, doesn’t budge. He just nods, smiles sweetly. 
Love can be blind. It can blind you to the point that you can’t see straight, can’t decipher what’s happening. You were scared, lost. 
«I hurt you so fucking much» you whisper. 
«Maybe it had to happen, for us to be here» he whispers.
«I don’t care about anything,» he strokes your hair «It hurt. But you’re here with me and I just- I just want you close to me» 
His arms hold you just for the sake of it. 
His warmth is intoxicating, the sound of his breath too. You wish you realised sooner, you wish that he didn’t have to hear you in such circumstances cause the pain on his face the next day was unbearable. When he saw you the next morning, all he could think about was you under someone else, your skin against his, your eyes looking at him in the same way you looked at him. The same thoughts that teared him apart for all night long. But now, it doesn’t matter. It was just a step that had to be taken, in a way or another. It was just something that guided you to him, in his arms right now.
Something in the air shifts. All your senses tingle, they scream for him and his touch just the same as Jungkook’s. He wants to have you, the most vulnerable part of you, like no one else ever did. You want his lips and his caresses, his eyes deep into yours.
«Let’s go to bed?» 
His breath catches in his throat.
«I want you closer than this»
The path to your bedroom never felt so good to walk on, with Jungkook’s fingers digging in your hips and his lips on your neck. It’s thrilling, the feeling running through your body. It’s saccharine, sugar coated. Your hands in his hair fit so good, the way you whimper when you stumble cause you can’t see in front of you, how he chuckles on your lips. 
«I want you in my bed,» he breathes on your lips «wanna keep you there all night long» 
Fuck, the way he makes you melt in his arms with just a few words. You nod eagerly,  letting your hands run on his back. Jungkook can’t hold himself back any longer, gripping you by your thighs and kissing your neck, his lips are wet and with the air your skin fills of shivers. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves towards his bedroom. 
«I want you so bad» you whine. 
«Gonna give it to you baby, everything you want» 
The door is shut and Jungkook doesn’t seem to want to let go of holding you as he kisses your lips. It’s too much to ask of him, after loving you for so long. You’re too breathtaking, too perfect.
«Let me» he kisses you again «open the d-» another kiss. You laugh on his mouth, his giggles fill the air as he keeps pecking your lips. 
«Kook, the door» 
He smiles big, turns around to make you open the door without letting you go. It stays open when he walks inside, doesn’t care at all and just walks to the bed, leans you down on his sheets. 
«Take it off» you mumble. He moans when your hands reach his skin under the shirt, nuzzles his face into your neck. You lift the cloth, Jungkook kisses your clavicle, his lips get as low as your shirt permits, his nose brushes against the swell of your breasts. You pinch his back, giggle when he whines.
«Want you naked» you remind. He laughs and looks into your eyes, totally drunk. 
«You’re so impatient» he sniggers, making you smile and turn. Your cheeks grow red as your eyes look at his nightstand.
«Look at me» 
His fingers reach the hem of his shirt as you turn again, he lifts it more and takes it off from between your legs; the view makes you salivate, his muscles on full display, his brownish nipples getting hard with the cold air.
«Want me to take my pants off too?» 
You want to smack his ass but you refrain yourself, you know he’s just teasing you like always.
«Shut up» you shake your head. His fingers reach the button of his pants, he slides it through the hole, pulls the zipper down. 
«Let me» you sit on the bed. You kiss his neck, let your fingers graze the skin of his chest, your touch makes his cock twitch, hard and swollen in his boxers. You let your hand pass over his navel, down until you reach his dick. 
Your hand lingers on it, Jungkook’s head falling back. 
«Fuck, you’re too much» he moans. 
«Make me so hard by doing nothing» he hisses. Butterflies fill your chest, your hand squeezes him through the cloths and you feel yourself getting wetter as he lets out a rough breath. God, the sounds he makes. They make you want to surrender to him and his pleasure, you feel the need to take him in your mouth as if your life depended on it. His hands go back on your body, fast fingers fist the material of your skirt. 
«You’re too impatient» you mock. He hums a soft giggle looking at you. 
«I am» he admits. Your sneaker in response makes him smile big and he lays his forehead on yours. He looks at you with those eyes, all the stars in the world couldn’t be as bright and magnificent as them and you can’t help but dive deeper and deeper. 
«I want to make love to you, wanna make you feel so good» and it feels so good to be able to say it out loud. To let you know.
You kiss him, really too impatient to hold back any longer. He helps you out of your skirt, takes your shirt off, makes you lay on the bed as he takes his pants and boxers off, his socks too. And fuck, the way he looks. How fucking gorgeous this man is when he’s just standing in front of you with his cock hard and standing proudly, cockhead red and swollen, skin exposed and the tattoos on his arm on full display.
«Fuck, come here» you beg. Jungkook doesn’t let you repeat it twice, his body hovers yours and you open your legs to welcome him. He kisses your right hip, his lips are wet and they tickle your skin, make you squirm under him as he cups your breast from over the bra. 
«Fuck, I love you» he hisses as he looks up at you. You can’t control the beat of your heart, too lost in him and how much youu’ r been missing. You can’t believe it took you so long to finally understand. Your lips part as you stare down at his face, his dark eyes on you. He kisses your stomach with his eyes in yours, the scene makes you so wet that you wrap your legs around him and Jungkook’s cock brushes against your panties. He moans, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, his mouth is still on you and the lace of your panties feels so fucking good on the underside of his cock that he shuts his eyes. He can feel your wetness even through them, they are soaked. Fucking hell. Your legs squeeze him more as you look at him, his mouth open and eyebrows pinched together. You lift your hips, to give him some friction. Hic cock twitches against you and you let out a breathy moan that makes him open his eyes. 
«Oh, fuck» he moans. It’s guttural and so fucking sexy. You can’t wait to hear more, you want to make him crazy. 
«Grind against me» you breathe. His cock twitches again, his jaw clenches. He lets you pull him closer with your legs, keep him tight against you until his cock is practically glued to your panties, your pussy totally soaked. His hands cup your breasts and he squeezes them gently while looking at you, your head digs into the pillows, a moan escapes your lips and Jungkook can’t help but do the same. His hips move tentatively, his cock rubs against the lace and the pressure gets to your clit. Your moan makes him whimper, your voice so sweet that it makes him repeat his movements. He can feel the outline of your lips from your panties and it’s fucking killing him.
«Fucking panties» he hisses, somehow making you laugh.
«Mh, what?» he smiles at you, his cock still brushing against your throbbing clit. You bite your lips.
«Nothing, just you» you shake your head. The pleasure is so good. Jungkook keeps smiling as he kisses the tip of your nose.
«Me what?» he asks, his fingers get under the strap of your bra, he pushes it down on your shoulder. 
«Just you,» you smile «I don’t know» 
He’s so fucking happy. 
«Am I funny to you?» he bumps his nose against yours. His movements are slow and controlled, his thighs glued to the back of yours, eyes right deep into yours. He moves his hand under your back, his fingers fumble with the opening of your bra.
«Sometimes» you laugh, cupping his cheek. You kiss him sweetly, Jungkook smiles on your lips as he lifts the bra from your chest, he guides the straps down your shoulders and your arms until he lets it fall on the ground. He pecks your lips once more, finally fondles your breast with his hand. Your nipples are hard and he wants to tease them until you squirm under him. His cock jerks when you moan under him, the pads of his fingers brushing against them. 
«Kook» you whimper. He kisses your neck all the way down to your chest, his lips lock around the pebble of your nipple as he teases the other with his fingers. Your back arches, mouth opens. 
«Feels so good» you breathe. He flicks his tongue repeatedly, sucks lightly as he ruts his cock up and down on your clit. Your legs tremble, he lets go of your nipple and takes the other in his mouth. It feels too good.
«Fuck» 
His hand travels on your stomach, his fingers pass your hip and reach the inside of your tights to caress it softly, tickling your skin until he presses his cock against you with his palm, his cockhead heavy on your clit. You squirm under him as he kisses your neck, his moans fill up your ears as he works his cockhead on it.
«Tell me you’re mine» he nuzzles his face into your skin. His balls are so tight he could cum right now.
«Jungkook, I’m going to-» you can’t even speak, you’re so close your blood is running hot in your veins. The pleasure it’s too much, it keeps building up and you just want to succumb.
«I’m yours» 
«Only for me» he grunts.
He parts his cock from your pussy. You want to ask why but a second later his fingers link around the hem of your panties and he pushes them down onto your thighs and over your knees until they pass your ankles and get lost in the room. The need to take a good look at your wetness stops him from pushing his cock back to where it was. He stares down at your lips, parts them with his fingers and fuck, he wants a taste. Your juices are leaking out from your hole so deliciously that he can’t hold back and gathers them with his thumb. 
«So fucking wet» he praises. 
His lips wrap around his thumb, sucking on it and tasting you, his cock twitches as it stands angrily. You taste so sweet, so delicious for him that he promises himself he’s going to make you cum like this tonight, eat every drop, swallow all your sweetness. And then start all over again.
«Wanna be the only one who gets to taste your beautiful pussy» 
Your hands grab his wrist on your leg as you nod.
«I promise» you whisper.
Jungkook lays on top of you again, he lets his wet thumb brush against your nipple as he his cock parts your lips and slides back between them. Your folds feels so good against him, the sensation makes him bite on his lips as he suppresses a loud moan. Your nails dig into his back as you look at his face, so fucking beautiful. It’s paradoxical how you think he looks like an angel when his cock it’s sliding against you so agonisingly.
«I want you to cum like this» he breathes.
He pushes his cockhead against your clit, rubs it in circular motions and then up and down, from side to side. Your juices mix with his precum, it’s so fucking wet that your juices drip on his sheets. He wants them to smell like you, to remember the way you smell when you’re working and he’s waiting for you at home, wants your juices to fucking claim his sheets. 
«Can you do it? Cum all over my cockhead, baby. Do it for me»
Fuck, how couldn’t you. It’s too much. Especially when he’s asking you like this, looking at you like you’re the essence of his world. 
You nod quickly, your chest raises up and down at a torturing pace and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you. He loves you so fucking much, you’re his. Fucking his.
«I’m- fuck, I’m going to cum» 
«Me too, baby. Cum with me?» he sweetly brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, he kisses your cheek with such tenderness and sincerity and your heart just can’t process it. It explodes in your chest, your legs shake and suddenly you’re whimpering and squeezing your eyes shut, your head digs into his pillows, your walls tighten. Jungkook grunts, pushing all the length of his cock against your folds and wrapping you closer to him in his arms. He cums so hard that his head falls on your chest, his moans muffled against your skin. His cock jerks, his cum wets your stomach and drips down your thighs and onto the sheets, a bit of it on his abdomen and chest too as he lets himself lay on top of you. 
It’s blissful, the way your fingers stroke his hair as he breathes harsly, he feels his heart pound and his insides melt. You stay silent, look at him just laying in your arms. You never felt so light, so free as now. Love can be blind, so blind that something so special had to wait all this time to finally be seen; all these years and your souls intertwined in every way possible, the roots of your plants were always in the same pot. You were so used to his presence and his leaves that you didn’t realise how much soil you shared, how deeply were intertwined your roots, how they held each other up with such tenderness and love. You want to see his flowers, want to share your water with him, you want to bloom and wilt with him, you want it all. 
«I love you» 
You caress his cheek even though you can’t see them, his eyelashes flutter against your chest and he raises his face to look at you, then rests again on top of you.
«I love you too» he answers. A big smile. Starry eyes, rosy cheeks, messy hair, totally love drunk. And you couldn’t love it more. You pinch the apple of his cheeks, he scrunches his nose and pouts his lips. 
You feel attacked, seriously.
«Why are you so cute?» you whine. His giggles fill the room as he gets up. He lays beside you, wraps his arms around you and squeezes.
«I want to spoon you» his fingertips dig into your hips as he kisses your shoulder. You huff contently, turning around. His legs intertwine with yours and Jungkook rests his head in the space between your shoulder and neck, his chest tight against you.
«Are you comfortable?» he pecks your cheek. It’s perfect.
You nod and shut your eyes, lingering in the feeling of the moment. 
«Don’t sleep» he whines, pinches your hip.
«I haven’t finished with you yet» 
«What? I’m tired» you laugh. You really aren’t, but you like to tease him. Your eyes open, head turns slightly to look at his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns. 
«It’s not true» he blubbers. Fuck, how can he look so adorable in such a situation? All naked, tight against you.
«It is,» you pout back «I’m really tired» you fake a yawn. His head falls on the pillow. 
You stay still for a little, then decide that you want to look at his pretty face. He wails as you turn around, clearly not okay with it.
«Let me spoon you at least»
«Wanna look at your pretty face» you puff at him. His body relaxes and when you turn around the view hits you like a truck on a highway. His hair are messy, long strands following sweetly the roundness of his cheek as he stares at you. His eyes are round, doe-like, incredibly profound they capture the light of the room and exhibit it perfectly, stars scattered across their skies. His lips are red, and it’s because of you. You caress his cheek, brush the strands away. He smiles largely, his hand grazes the back of yours and squeezes it, his other one behind your back so sweetly that you melt. 
«You can fall asleep on my chest» he murmurs. You shake your head.
«I was just teasing you,» you giggle «don’t wanna sleep now» 
He huffs, faking annoyance but it’s just really endearment.
You graze his chest with your fingers, tickle him with the nails as you slowly move up and down. His cock is still hard, the tip red. 
«You’re… you’re still hard» you breathe. 
Jungkook looks at you, the way your eyes stare at his cock on his abdomen, a big smile stretching on his lips as his cheeks grow a little reddish.
«Can’t help it baby,» he simply says «it’s what you do to me» 
He doesn’t lead the conversation anywhere else, as if he doesn’t intend to do anything about it, a dreamy sigh leaving his lips. He stares at you in awe, he can’t believe he gets to do this. In his arms, you naked and relaxed, laying down to stay. You don’t get up to leave his mattress and go back to just being friends, close but not close enough, a heartbeat away. Laying with you feels ecstatic. It’s the forbidden fruit, the one he always craved for; the intimacy of it, being in your rawest states and still trusting each other in such a profound way, getting to see each others fully in every way possible, physically, emotionally. 
«Love» you whisper. His big eyes look straight at you, his heart stumbles in his chest. 
«Last time… you called me love»
«I… couldn’t hold back» he shakes his head, nuzzling into you. 
«It felt different from the times before, it was…»
«I was making love to you» he mumbles. The way he clings his chin to the fist of his hand on the pillow right after makes your stomach clench. The silence creates a foggy haze in the room, but you still see each other clearly. He must’ve hurt so much, for so long. You want to make him smile. You want to reassure him, make him feel loved just as he did to you that day. 
«My baby» you whisper, leaving a peck on the tip of his nose. He scrunches it and smiles big at you.
«Let me do the same- » you kiss his lips and although the intention was to go for just a peck Jungkook’s lips keep you attached to him like a magnet «and make you feel good?» 
«Mmph…» he moans as soon as your hand reaches the base of his cock. You feel it twitch, watch it as it gets even harder in your hand. Jungkook gulps, shuffling on the mattress to get comfortable. The view of your pretty little hand around him makes him longing, yearning to have you all over him. He doesn’t even have to wait after cuming already, he knows he could be ready for you right now. And when you stroke him, oh god, the sound he makes… you wish you could record it and play it all over again and again. 
He folds his arms, rests on the back of them to look at the view properly, head up and chest raising roughly.
«Fuck, I love it» he hisses. You lick your lips, get closer to him on your side as you let your hand pull his foreskin back, his cockhead furious and leaking precum already. 
«You like it?» you coo. He looks at you, your lips wet and your eyes gawking at him. You make him powerless just by doing nothing. Your thumb touches his slit.
«Shit, yes» he moans.
«Love it, I love it» 
You smile at him. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off your face and your hand, not even for a second. When you gather his precum and stroke it all over his cockhead he breathes hard and suddenly he craves for a taste of you. His chin points at you, lips pouting as his cock pulses in your hand.
You peck his lips, tighten your hand around him and twist your wrist. He moans loudly, his head falls back. 
«Fuck» he cries. 
«You’re so beautiful» you whisper. 
«Want you to feel so good» 
He nods lazily, his eyes shut. Your hand is… perfect. Just perfect. It makes him thaw under you, for you, until he’s just whining and moaning, totally lost.
«You- nnngh- you do» 
You push his hair behind his ears, you don’t think you’ve ever felt this feeling. This kind of excitement while doing something for someone else, only for him. This part of you is his, tied and bound to his soul.
«All the time» he shivers.
«Every fucking time you- fuck» his moan is high pitched, desperate. He’s losing his mind, it’s too much when you stroke his cock and have your pretty eyes looking at him so sweetly, holding all the love he always wished to get from you. It’s too much, and he just wants to explode.
«Every fucking time, you don’t even realise,» he shakes his head «you- you just, fuck I love you» 
It’s brutal, how he takes your face in his palm and pushes your lips onto his, brutal for your heart. Such a crook.
The kiss is messy, sloppy, totally heedless. He just wants you close, it’s just for the sake of feeling you more, and it makes you so wet you feel your juices drip down your asshole.
«Love you- so fucking much» he whines. You kiss him more, stroke his cock until his balls are tight and Jungkook is squirming on the bed, his sounds creating the perfect melody for your ears, his pleasure skyrocketing until he just knows he has to stop you. 
His hand wraps around yours, stopping your movements. 
«Want you,» he hisses «wanna cum inside you while I feel you close» you couldn’t resist such a plea even if you wanted to. 
You smile at him and nod, your skin is on fire just at the thought of it. Jungkook’s hand tickles your side as it descends on your hip, his digits dig into your skin. He goes to sit up but you stop him with your hand on his chest. 
«Huh?» he hums puzzled, his lips forming an “o” and his eyebrows high.
«Let me» you smile. Fuck, he feels like cuming already.
«Let me take care of you» you whisper. Jungkook hisses as he lays back down, soft strands of hair spread on the pillow and starry eyes look at you while you straddle him. He doesn’t know if you resemble more an angel or the devil himself with your love surrounding him and your dangerous touch, but maybe you’re the collision of both. 
You lay down to kiss his lips, a soft and gentle kiss that makes him yearn even more just because it’s ohso lovely. 
He must’ve been blessed, cause when you let your hips grind against him and he feels the warmth of your core he feels like he’s in heaven. Maybe you’re an angel, most definitely the prettiest of all. 
Your lips feels so fucking good that his cock jerks and he has to hold back himself from cuming.
«Fuck, wait-» he hisses. 
«I don’t think I can- I need to desensitise a bit or I- I’ll cum» 
You stop your movements and lean down to kiss him some more. You caress his cheek, Jungkook’s arm can’t help but keep you close and tight against him. Your soft breasts feel so good against the hardness of his chest, your hair hanging down from the side of your face. His hand squeezes your asscheek and a cheeky grin appears on his face.
«Feels so good to get to do this» he pipes. 
«You used to do that before too» you snigger and he squeezes your flesh once more.
«Only in bed» he laughs. You shake your head and pinch his right nipple lightly, watching as he keens and brings his hand to cover the injured part.
«Why?» he whines with his eyes closed. You lay down and kiss the tip of his nose.
«I get to do this too» you coo. He sighs deeply and glares at you, lips pouty.
«You used to do this before too» he murmurs. You smile at him.
«Not in bed? I should’ve and could’ve but I didn’t. I had to try» 
«Fuck, you’re so annoying» he groans even though a big smile is already stretching on his lips. It’s beautiful how the change of your relationship didn’t change the way you act around each other, the same old habits and teases. 
«Should I kiss it for you?» you laugh. Jungkook peeks at you from his half lidded eyes.
«Do I get to kiss your ass when I’m outside of bed?» 
Your laugh fills the room, the apples of your cheeks full. He pushes you onto him, his hand coming to your face, he kisses your lips, pecks your nose and your cheeks, your forehead too. Silence spread in the air as he pours his love onto you with caresses and little sighs, totally rapturous.
You kiss his neck, his clavicles, his shoulders and his pecs, lick on his nipple. Jungkook squirms under you and a second later you’re… kissing it. He laughs out loud, his giggles are high pitched and he scrunches his nose as he lets his head fall back on the pillow. So fucking cute, you think. You want to keep him in your pocket and never let go.
«Are we ready to go?» you giggle as he still laughs. Jungkook nods, eyes bright. His bangs are messy and you take some time to brush them with your fingers as his chuckles summer down. 
«It’s gonna be messy again, come on» he whines. 
«So impatient,» you sigh «let me make my baby pretty» you coo. Jungkook whines again.
«Please,» he strokes your back «wanna be inside you» 
«Mmh, ‘kay baby» you hum against his lips. You nuzzle your nose into his neck, blow on it just to hear the sound of his humming when he shudders under you as you take a hold of the base of his cock. He’s so hard that you let out a dreamy sigh, totally in love with the feeling of him in your hand. Jungkook’s hips stutter up, his cheeks paint of red when his eyes meet you and you wonder if it’s just the warmth of the room or your effect on him.
Your core brushes against him and he releases a soft yearning hum. You sit up, breast on full sight and eyes on him as you push yourself onto him. It’s so fucking wet and tight and delicious that he doesn’t ever want to leave your pussy. Fuck, he’d spend every second of the day inside you if he could. 
«So tight» he moans. You slowly fill yourself up with him, he grabs your breasts and squeezes them, fumbles your soft flesh as you start to move unrushed. You’re so beautiful on top of him, so pretty. All for him and him only. 
«Talk to me» Jungkook wants to hear your words as you ride him. The position is totally new to the both of you but fuck, it feels perfect. He fills you up so good that your walls pulsate all around him, getting to see him under you with his big dark eyes on your face makes you want to spoil him in all the love he showered you with the last time and even more, you want him to feel totally engulfed by it, from how much you love him. 
«Love it, I love your cock» you moan. You put your weight on your hands on the bed, leaning back a little as his cock hits the perfect spot inside you. Jungkook pinches your nipple, your breasts look so good that he wishes he could kiss your skin. He watches them bounce with every move, feels his cock throb and leak precum inside you. It’s so fucking wet, your juices mixed together and god, the sounds you make could make him crazy.
«How much?» he hisses. You bite your lips.
«So much baby» you whine. His hand reaches your clit, he rubs it gently with his thumb and looks at your face. His heart pounds wildly, you turn him on so much that he has to restrain himself every time. However, now he wants you close and even though he’s loving the way you’re taking him so good, your body is too far for him. 
«Love» he calls out putting both of his hands on your hips and staring up at you. You look down at him, his skin is a bit sweaty and his lips red from all the kisses you shared. Jungkook sits up.
«Want you closer, please» he maffles. 
«Let me open my legs so I can hold you» 
You let his cock pull out, the loss of contact makes you grimace and Jungkook smiles endeared as he pinches your cheek. He opens his thighs, his cock stands proud against his abdomen, so pretty. He guides you onto him, your thighs over his and your pussy back on him. His hands grab the flesh of your ass, his face hides in the crook of your neck and he breathes in your scent as you take him back into your heaven. Like this, he thinks he could die happily. Fuck, so close and perfect. The contact of your skin makes him breathless, the feeling of you all over him, so tight that not a single inch isn’t against him. The way you hug his cock makes his head spin, how you grind your hips into him and dig your nails into his back. Your moans in his ears, he captures every single and makes sure that the next one comes out because you’re feeling even better. He rubs your clit, sucks your nipples, kisses your neck, keeps you close until your sweats mix and all he can do is breathe you in.
«You’re perfect» you whisper. His heart trembles, all the defences he had to put on for all these years without even realising are down on the floor, totally scattered in pieces. They burn into ashes, fire takes over them completely until there’s nothing left but haze, and then there’s you. You on top of him, you under him, you on his lips, you in his mind, just you. You’re everywhere, part of him. 
«I was so stupid-» you hiss as he kisses your cheek «fuck, how could I not see it?» 
His nose nuzzles into your cheek and he pecks your skin repeatedly, his thumb rubbing faster on your clit.
«Ssh, we’re- nngh fuck, we’re here now» he reassures.
«Never wanna leave you,» you mumble «never» 
Jungkook feels like crying suddenly. There’s a knot in his throat that tastes like pain, like all the tears he shed and every night he spent thinking about you. All the worry that he felt when you weren’t with him, the feeling of loveliness without you by his side, the feeling of not being enough to be seen, to be considered as more. It all gets back to him and his eyes burn, his vision becomes foggy, his breath ragged for the pleasure of having you here. 
«Baby,» he whines «feel like crying» his voice trembles. 
You stop your movements, totally focus on him. Jungkook shakes his head though, pushes you onto him more to make you keep going.
«Just make love to me» he whispers. 
«I still can’t- still can’t believe you’re mine» 
«I’m yours» you don’t wait a second more to let it out. You watch him beam with his eyes glossy and can’t help but kiss him. You kiss all of his worries away, every single one. As you make love to him so sweetly, they all melt. He cries, salty tears mix with your kisses, your hands dry them and you kiss the path they walked on. You spoil him with your touch, your caresses, even your breath on his skin. Jungkook can’t even speak properly from the feeling in his chest. 
«I love you, love»
«Fuck, oh god- call me that again» he moans. He lets his head fall back as you keep moving, the expanse of his neck displayed for you. You let your hand trace it and then do the same for his chest, rub his nipples and hear him moan.
«My love» you repeat, breath rough.
«Mine, you’re mine»
«Fuck yes,» he whimpers «yours baby» 
You want to make him cum. You want to see him shake in pleasure and contract his abs, you want everything he can give and more. Your hand travels farther down, Jungkook squeezes your ass again as he feels your touch graze his skin until you get to his balls. They’re wet with your juices, so tight and full of cum for you. He moans loudly, his mouth attaches your neck as you caress them sweetly in your hand. Your touch is so gentle and his cock feels so fucking good, his body feels like levitating from how much you’re giving him. It’s too much to hold back.
«God, you’re- you’re going to make me-» he howls «cum» he shudders.
You kiss him deeply, your tongues in each others mouth and your eyes closed, foreheads touching and hearts glued to each other. 
«Cum for me» you breathe on his lips.
«Cum inside me, show me how you cum for me, love» 
His eyes open, eyebrows furrow as he moans. You kiss him more, spoil him totally. You whisper how much you love him, how good he feels inside you, how beautiful he is. Until it’s fucking unbearable, his cock twitches and all he can do is let go. Jungkook groans, digs his nose into your neck in such a desperate way that you feel your heart being wrapped tightly and squeezed almost to the point that you can’t breathe anymore, his whimpers come out muffled on your skin, his cum filling you up totally as you keep moving on top of him and in his hold. You cum with his moans in you ears as you milk him dry, the room spinning and your legs shaking. You collapse in his arms, feel him sob in your hold. Even when you don’t realise it you kiss his hair, stroke his back as your body feels light and wobbly, totally lost in its high. You cup his cheeks and peck his lips, the mole right under, the one on his nose, his forehead. Jungkook never wants to let go. 
«Cuddles» he murmurs on your neck right after, hiding from the world. You nod lazily, his cock still inside you. 
It’s weird, the roads that love takes and the path it walks onto. It’s odd, how it can blossom without asking for permission, how it grows and spreads, takes over everything it finds on its way. It’s beautiful, how Jungkook clings onto you like you’re love itself and you do the same for him, roots intertwined and shared soil in the same pot, one soul fixed together with pieces of each other, like it’s always been. Since you were sixteen and he was nineteen, for all these years. And for many more to come
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Read more about Closer here: Closer: Too Close (Teaser)
Read my other works here: Masterlist
Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r, @kaitlynlovesbm, @bytheinaya, @jub-jub, @taolucha, @minayas1998, @seoulrenebae-blog, @ppeachyttae, @gluk97, @jk97bam, @diorh0seokie, @gwsjungkookie, @moonlikemeh, @skzthinker, @eyssdumpie, @sleepy-sae, @jjkw-7, @singularityjes, @vvicaddiction, @kimchijeonjk @jungkookieeee97
2K notes · View notes
lexsssu · 5 months
Text
Treasure (Akira Kurusu | Ren Amamiya)
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TAGS: Akira/F!reader, yandere, obsession, praise, breeding, smut, oneshot Ao3 ver. | Ko-fi | Commissions (OPEN)
“Thank you for the curry, Akira-kun. It’s delicious as always and the coffee is perfect…!”
“Nothing less for my favorite patron of course~”
“Oh stop it, you! Using your charms won’t make me order another serving of curry”
“Darn. Guess I’ll just have to try harder next time then~”
“Of course you will. But I hope you know that the reason I keep coming back here is because of the food and not because of some pretty-boy cafe owner…!”
“Mhmm, I know very well that it’s only the food and drinks that keep you coming back. So that means all I have to do is make everything on the menu irresistible so you’d have no choice~”
“....Smart-ass”
Akira chuckled at the adorable pout you sent him, feeling his heartbeat seemingly getting faster as you played along with him. How your innocent little smiles and colorful blushes sent his heart into overdrive, reminding him constantly that the thief had been the one stolen from instead. 
You stole his heart and you didn’t even realize it.
So it was only natural that he would steal yours in return, right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't she an adorable little thing?
So small
So soft
So ripe for the taking
Don't you just want to sink your teeth into her pretty little neck?
Leave your mark on her
You know you want to
She's practically begging for it
All you have to do is take the first step 
You know full well that she wants to be moaning beneath you
She wants to choke on your cock
She wants you to stuff it inside her tight pussy 
Give her all your cum, make sure you fuck it all straight into her womb
Do it. You want it. She wants it. Stop pretending like you're a good man when we both know you're the farthest thing from one.
And none of that matters, because you'll have her anyway.
WE'LL have her.
Whether she wants to be ours or not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It's too dangerous for you to go home in this weather. Why don’t you stay the night here instead? I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if anything were to happen to you…”
Those were Akira’s words when he dissuaded you from traveling back to your own apartment as the thunderstorm raged outside of Leblanc. 
Yet...how did it turn out like this?
“Aren’t you my precious little treasure? Do you feel how tightly your pretty cunt is gripping my cock? It’s your first time and yet it’s swallowing up everything so happily...I just knew you were made for me~”
Arms wrapped around his strong neck, you hang onto Akira for dear life as he spears his girthy length into your sopping wet core, spreading your lower lips while the veins that pulsed along its length scraping against your previously untouched walls. He had your sinfully thick thighs wrapped around his narrow waist as he bucked up into you, basically carrying the entirety of your weight with his surprisingly strong arms.
For a man who supposedly worked full-time as the proprietor of a little cafe in Tokyo, Akira had both strength and a build beneath his unassuming clothes that clearly stated his physical prowess.
Not that you had any capacity to think about that when the man was flooding your insides with his thick, gooey cum. Your eyes are glazed as you panted, inhaling lungfuls of air as a heady mix of your clear love juice and his pearly essence dripped onto the wooden floors of his bedroom atop the shop.
Aside from the half-hard cock that plugged you up, you clearly felt the heat of his potent cum in your lower belly after the curly-haired male made sure to cum while he was balls-deep inside you. 
“Good girl. That’s my good girl. Taking my cum so eagerly...you’ll treasure my gift to you, won’t you? Because you’re my treasure and I want to leave my mark in you… ”
You should be scared at how things reached this point all of a sudden, but you find that you don’t care.
Not when you’d also long held a torch for the charming barista.
It was only your own insecurities that prevented you from ever saying a word. Why would you when Akira was so handsome, so charming, so smart as compared to your...mediocre self?
“Yours…♥” Smiling dazedly at him, you press a chaste kiss to his soft lips before nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck as a wave of drowsiness overtakes you.
There’s no need to ask questions. What matters is that he loves you as much as you loved him. So you don’t think about it anymore, simply relishing in the fact that the object of your affections returned your seemingly unrequited love.
“ I’ll protect you. No one will ever take you away from me. Don’t worry, my dear. You’ll be taken care of for life. Now that you’re mine...you’ll be treated like the priceless treasure you are~ ”
Eerie olden orbs glowed in the darkness, sometimes glinting with an unspeakable malice but they mostly shone with tenderness they were seemingly incapable of whenever they were trained on your sleeping figure.
424 notes · View notes
b0ther · 3 months
Text
ain't even jealousy
you fucking hate the basketball team, but there's no one you hate more than aomine.
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pairing : aomine daiki x reader (feminine pronouns. afab) rating : explicit, not safe for work (sexual content) type : chaptered tags : aomine is a bully im not even kidding he is quite cruel, porn with PLOT, reader is besties with satsuki, reader also has a crush on imayoshi, reader also was wakamatsu's ex, hate sex, semi-public sex, manhandling, vaginal penetration, thigh fucking, semi-clothed sex, some slutshaming going on here, reader has big tits, slight dubcon. word count : 4,323
author's note : title from 'want u back' by cher lloyd. this is comissioned by a dear friend. hope you enjoy mwah. this first chapter (and whole fic im ngl) is centered around the onsen episode.
( masterlist │ ask/request │ ao3 )
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After a long and hard day at school, all that you ever really want to do is to quickly get to your part-time job and finish up your shift. Perhaps you can get some convenient store food after that, or go straight home to shower and rest.
Whatever it is that you daydreamed of, it wasn't this.
Satsuki calls out to you, her voice soft against the bristling wind with her lithe arms circle around yours as you try to walk away, dragging her body forcefully with you. She whines your name over and over again, over the beating speaker against your ears before you finally had enough, ripping your headphones off your head, turning to face her.
“Satsuki!” You try to sound stern, but you end up whining in the same tone that she used. You can only be so serious as a high school girl, after all.
Her pink strands fall against her face messily; you use your other hand to tuck them behind her ear as she elongates the way she enunciates your name and begs, begs, begs you to listen to her. “Please! Just—”
“Satsuki!” You groan, shaking her off your body. “I’m busy. I have a part-time job, I’m failing maths, I have club activities. I can’t just… ditch everything and go !”
“You can!” It’s like she was not listening to a single word that you uttered. “It’s a month away and on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday—which you can begin asking for a leave day starting today , they will definitely let you if you do it a month in advance!—and maths!? That’s easy! I’ll teach you!”
You slant your eyes at her, arms crossing on your chest. “Alright. What about my club activities?”
“You mean your journalist club? One that encourages their members to leave their comfort zone in order to bring back interesting stories? One that basically has a crush on the basketball team?”
You roll your eyes. “Oh, don’t be dramatic.”
She gasps. “Don’t you love me!?”
“Don’t do this to me…”
“If you love me at all, you wouldn’t even think twice about going with me. Imagine me, a girl, going alone on an all-boys’ trip to some secluded place—”
“You’re being dramatic—” You tried reiterating your point.
“I’m not!” She whines, even louder this time, attracting attention from all the other Touou students around you. “You literally have nothing to lose by coming along! Give me five reasons—five good reasons—and I will literally stop bothering you.”
You shake her off again, and this time, Satsuki lets go and stumbles back a couple of steps as the mischief on her eye continues to shimmer. You have never lost an argument to Satsuki—but there is a first for everything, and you have a feeling that you are going to break some personal records today.
“First,” you take a deep breath as you hold up a finger. “Aomine’s gonna be there—”
“Perfect!” Not giving you a chance to speak, she cuts you off, eyes glimmering like starlight. “You like him!”
She strikes a nerve with this one.
One of your eyes twitches as you cross your arms under your chest. The excited smile on her face fades in an instant, recognizing in an instant that something is wrong.
Recognizing in an instant that something she should have known about is wrong.
She blinks a couple of times, trying to use all that intelligence in her head to analyse the error in what she said (which turns out pretty useless—guess all that she is good for is basketball).
“Have you been paying attention at all?” You begin to blabber after letting out a huge gasp, arms waving around in the air. “We’ve been friends for years— years ! Since the first year of middle school, and you know nothing of  my strong, burning opinion of Aomine!? Flash news, Satsuki, it’s not love!”
“You—” She stammers, “You talk about him a lot!”
“I complain about him a lot!” You correct her, blowing out air in frustration, feeling somewhat betrayed that your best friend had just accused you of liking your archnemesis… your enemy… your… your rival.
The point is! You hate him!
You would rather live in a world without television and the internet and good music if it means that you will have to never hear him say another word.
Aomine.
You shiver in annoyance.
Just saying his name irks the hell out of you. Imagining his face causes a feeling close to that of an explosion in your chest. You just wanna grab him by his face and shove him down a flight of stairs.
You cannot even count all the shitty things he did to you in high school: revealing your crush on Nijimura Shuuzou not just to the then-basketball team captain, but the entire student body; tripping you in the cafeteria multiple times; stealing your undergarments during P.E. and commenting crassly about how you were two sizes under his favourite adult model. Granted, you never told Satsuki about the last thing. That shit was just too embarrassing—you were glad that no one else was in the room when he threw your bra back at you.
Still, your frustration remains at her. Jogging down memory lane boils your wrath, and you close your eyes to calm yourself down.
He’s just a bully.
A damned bully.
And you would be damned if you are going to willingly spend your weekends in the same vicinity as him.
“Well… Dai-chan likes you!”
You roll your eyes.
Yeah, right.
You would agree if she had claimed that he found you attractive, or he thinks you’re hot. But liking you? Highly improbable—impossible, even.
Aomine Daiki does not seem like he is capable of feeling any emotion aside from boredom and mischief. The only thing he loves, or even likes, is probably his beloved Aya-chan from his gravure magazines.
You’re not even sure if he still likes basketball.
Which is a shame—seeing someone so tall gradually shrinking to the size of nothing, even if you despise the guy, the whole ordeal with whatever-the-fuck Satsuki’s basketball team went through still managed to extract some sympathy from the bottom of your heart. You’ve been paying attention to Aomine, after all, albeit not under any positive light.
“Whatever,” from past experiences, you know better than to argue against Satsuki. “I don’t care anymore. And you know what? Aomine himself and your blatant disregard of your best friend’s feelings—me!—should be enough to fit all five criterias!”
You know that look in her eyes, the way her lips press against each other and how one of her hands is clenched into a fist. 
“I’ve been friends with him for 16 years, (Y/N),” she bumps her fist against her chest in pride. “Best friends, even! I know him better than you do!”
You scoff. “People who like someone don’t bully them, Satsuki. Open your eyes.”
“He isn’t bullying you!” She groans.
“Oh, so now not only are you attempting to kidnap me, but you’re also defending my bully?”
“Argh!” Satsuki hugs your arm again, earning her a groan from you. She calls out your name again, enunciating each and every syllable. “ Pleeeaaaaseeee? You don’t have to pay a single dime! You don’t even have to see Dai-chan if you want to. Imayoshi-san will be there—you like him, right?”
You slant your eyes at her in suspicion, not buying anything she just told you. You just know that you will have to see Aomine sooner or later if you come with her to the onsen. 
“No man is ever worth that much headache, Satsuki.”
“Yeah,” she sighs, still shaking you ferociously. “But it’s Imayoshi-san!”
You decided to come along. Because of course you did.
It’s either that, or Satsuki pestering you for the rest of the month, bringing either Imayoshi or Aomine or whoever she thinks will get your attention.
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And Imayoshi Shouichi? Sure. He’s hot as hell.
But is he worth dealing with Aomine?
You like to think not.
Satsuki dragged you along to a basketball team meeting—the one that would be discussing the practice trip and the whole onsen ordeal.
It wasn’t like you needed to be there at all. You know just a little more than the average person about basketball. All that you were preparing for the onsen was your clothes and deciding whether it’s you or Satsuki who should be bringing her hairdryer.
“Why me?” You said, crossing your arms when the attention of the entire basketball team was redirected towards you, and Imayoshi laughed. The only problem they were facing was convincing Aomine to come along.
And you were happy with not being the babysitter. You were happy with twiddling your skirt as you sat on the edge of the stage of the hall, scrolling down your social media timeline as the team argued on how to get that blue-haired freak into coming.
That was until Satsuki ruined your afternoon by offering up your name.
To your surprise, everyone in the team seemingly agreed almost immediately to offer you as a sacrificial lamb to feed Aomine’s ego and coax him to at least come to the trip.
“He likes you,” Wakamatsu scoffed when you asked why, and you glared at him, but said nothing. Out of respect, you guess, to the upperclassman. It’s not like you respect him, though. You’re on bad terms with a lot of the basketball team, but no matter your disagreements with Wakamatsu, you will never dislike him the way you loathe Aomine.
“He does have a soft spot for you,” Imaoyshi mused as he flashed you a smile—and lord , you cannot say no to Imayoshi. Especially when he’s being so nice.
You saw Satsuki smirking from the corner of your eyes and internally cursed her.
That was how you found yourself climbing the ladder leading to the rooftop. 
And that was how you found Aomine with one hand between his backpack and head, and the other holding an obscene magazine.
He doesn’t even spare you a single glance—probably thought you were another manager or even worse: Satsuki again. But the moment you open your mouth to call out to him, his head snaps in your direction, an eyebrow raised in amusement as he pushes himself to rest his body against his elbows.
“What are you doing here?”
You try not to let your rage spill. You try to keep the boiling water down. You close your eyes, take a deep breath, and continue to climb the ladder before approaching him.
Think rational, you think to yourself, he hadn’t even said anything yet.
“The Captain wants to see you,” you manage to say between your gritted teeth, staring down at him before looking away. Imayoshi didn’t ask you to make Aomine see him, but Aomine probably respects Imayoshi more than you, so you try to throw him under the bus just to get out of the situation quicker.
“Imayoshi-san?” He frowns before repeating his initial question: “What the fuck are you doing here?”
I want to punch him.
“You own this roof or something?”
“Calm down,” he scoffs, tilting his head before eyeing your body up and down. You shift your weight into your other leg, ignoring the uneasy feeling on the pit of your stomach. “I just wanted to know.”
Sighing, you glance up at the sunny sky, sweat starting to form on the base of your neck and you are dying to leave at that very moment. You shelter your eyes from the sunlight, despite finding it more appealing than Aomine’s face.
“We’re discussing the practice trip thing—whatever, and also the onsen trip,” you lazily explain, not bothering to hide your disinterest. “Imayoshi-senpai wants you to be present for the meeting. Obviously.”
You cannot fathom the fact that you were explaining his basic responsibilities as a club member to him. What a fucking child.
“You coming with us?”
His focus seems to be misplaced, and you glare at the sky, imagining it was his stupid face.
“I’m going with Satsuki,” you correct, still not willing to look at him. “I don’t give two shits about you or the basketball team.”
“Hey,” he sits up, wrapping his fingers around your wrist before tugging your body towards him. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”
You scoff, finally letting your gazes meet before pulling your hand away. “Fuck off.”
He, in fact, does not fuck off.
Aomine pulls on your wrist again, this time hard enough for you to lose your balance and fall, your knees landing on the coarse floor as the bottom of your skirt rides up your thighs. The skin of your knees scraping against the gravelled surface and you curse, jerking your hand away only to immediately shove his shoulder.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” You shriek, annoyed at how he remains unmoving even as you push him again.
He towers you, even when sitting, and keeps his eyes peering down at you.
Maybe it’s the heat that day; summer has just ended, but even the soft Autumn breeze cannot conceal the searing flare creeping up the skin of your cheeks. Aomine slants his eyes and grabs your wrist yet again—you weren’t quick enough to retract away from his athletic instincts, and so, you fall again when he pulls you in closer.
You hiss in pain as your knees drag more against the floor, desperate to find your balance only to grab on his shoulders.
“Hey,” He calls out to you, a lame attempt for your attention. “Look,” he says again, and your dumb ass looks.
He grabs the magazine on his lap and tautens the pages together, showing you the spread where he left off before you interrupted his peaceful afternoon. “(Y/N), remember Aya-chan?”
The girl that ruined your life?
How can you forget?
You cannot hide the distaste in your eyes as your eyes scan her beautiful, black hair falling against the sheer material of her white uniform top. The black lace bra she was wearing underneath is apparent as she pushes her two tits against each other, legs spread to reveal an equally seductive pattern on her panties.
Before you even realise, Aomine’s arm begins to wrap itself around your waist as he holds you up, fingers creeping up the side of your torso, tracing invisible lines before resting on one of your breasts. Your stomach begins to churn in excitement, embarrassingly enough, and you press your legs instinctively when the muscle between your thighs tighten as he continues fondling you.
You circle your arm around his neck under the pretence of keeping your balance.
“Mhmm…” He clicks his tongue, resting his face on the side of your upper arm—his nose touching the side of your tit as his hand palms your other one. “I feel like you’re no longer two sizes under Aya-chan. Maybe a size under? Maybe the same size?”
You grit your teeth. “You talk big. Have you ever seen her outside your magazine? She probably edits her photos.”
He grins, gaze shifting to drink in your frustration. “No, but you’re real, and I’m groping you right now. Isn’t that better?”
“Better than your pretty Aya-chan?”
Aomine raises an eyebrow, humming knowingly. You can’t even believe the word escaping your mouth.
“You have a cute side to you after all,” He muses after a short, mocking whistle. “What do you want me to say? Want me to tell you how much better you are than her?”
“Want you to shut the fuck up.”
“Calm down, tiger.” He laughs, pulling away from your arm. He tosses the magazine to the side, straightening his back to press a short kiss to the peak of your cheekbone. His hand begins to work; he slowly kneads your breast while continuously trailing kisses down to your ears. Your nipples brush against the fabric of your damned lace bra, and he stops for a moment only to tug on where your bud is protruding.
A whimper leaves your mouth.
“Excited are we?” He whispers, voice dropping lower as he presses his lips against your ears. “I like hearing you like that.”
“Shut up,” you run out of words, turning your head to the other side, exposing your neck to him. Which turns out to be a bad idea, as he takes it as a sign to sweep his tongue over the skin of your neck.
“A–Aomine—”
“God,” he chuckles. “Who would’ve guessed that you can be this sexy?”
He pulls away from your neck, and drags his hand from your tits to rub against your torso, feeling the material of your uniform. He presses one hand on the small of your back, pressing his forehead against yours. In a swift motion, he pulls on your body, drawing out a squeak as he lays you down against the concrete floor.
“What if…” he trails, rubbing a thumb under your eye as he hovers over rested body. Your cheeks sear with heat, alongside your chest and the pulsating on your cunt. “...I just fuck you right here?”
“W-what?” You whimper.
He laughs. “I’m hard as hell. You made me this way.”
“You were the one groping my tits!”
“You liked it,” he shrugs, pushing himself off of you, forcing both your legs open as he moves between them. His fingers begin to unbutton your uniform, unravelling the bra you are wearing underneath. Sucking in a deep breath, he stops midway down your torso, and without taking his eyes off your chest, he asks, “Want me to stop?”
Your cheeks flare, and you don’t answer him. You don;t even look at him.
He takes a quick glance at your expression.
“I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”
“...Whatever.”
A wide smirk forms on his face, fingers continuing to unbutton your uniform all the way down.
“Do me a favour and get up for a bit,” he murmurs, pressing one of his hands against your back once again to get you to sit up. The feeling of his palm against your bare skin sends you to shivers, coupled with the soft wind whistling between the two of you.
“What’re you—”
You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer as his fingers fumble with the hook of your bra. It took him two wrong moves before getting it right with the third—the fabric loosens around your body, and you pull him closer to conceal your humiliated expression.
“See,” Aomine chuckles after some awkward motion, tossing your stupid bra to the side when he finally gets it off. “You’re so pretty like this.”
“Shut up,” you groan, nails digging into his skin deeper and deeper.
He pulls himself away from your grip, taking a nice hold on your torso to pull your ass up his lap, letting you fall against the hard floor again.
“Goddamn,” he mutters, roaming his touches against your legs. His eyes cannot leave the heaves of your jugs.
“Stop fucking staring,” your hiss, trying to pull your uniform together, hiding your chest away from him.
Aomine scoffs, using one hand to unbuckle his pants. Your eyes travelled from his face to the loose button on his collar to the wet stain on the grey briefs around his hips to the bulge underneath them.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
He tilts his head at your question, furrowing his eyebrows as he takes his cock out from under his briefs. “Fucking you?”
The precum leaks from the tip of his cock, little drops of white strings rolling down his length. He pulls your hips closer to his body and presses it flat against your soaked panties.
He groans at the contact. Your warm slick welcomes him entirely as he presses more against the fabric, rubbing his tip along the length of your pussy.
“S’that feel good?” He whispers, hastily hooking his fingers on your panties, pulling it up your legs, then tossing it to go with your bra. He presses his arm on the side of your head, leaning into you again.
“Don’t put it in,” you whine, trying to hold back your hips from rolling. “You’re gonna get me pregnant.”
“You can’t say shit like that,” he groans against your neck. He positions the tip of his cock against your cunt, and even with your sopping lips, you aren’t sure if you are ready to accommodate his size at all. 
“You don’t want to be a teen dad,” you bite your lower lip, hand going to rub his neck.
“I wanna fuck you, though,” he breathes, using his thumb to run along your wet slit. “Wanna fuck you raw, wanna cum inside’a you.”
You tremble with his words, feeling two of his fingers now circling your pussy. “D— don’t be stupid.”
“You’re so fucking pretty,” he whispers, making your cunt wish it has something to tighten around. “D’you know how long I’ve been wanting to get you like this?”
He pushes himself off of you, and holds your wounded knees as he watches your chest heaves, heavy tits rolling with every staggered breath. He flips your skirt over, exposing even more of your cunt to the chill.
He rubs his length against your slick, his tip now pushing against your swelling clit. “I’d jack off and wonder if you were tighter than my fist,” he wraps his cock with his hand and places it again on your entrance, pushing in a slow, deliberate motion.
Between your drooping eyelids, you saw him inaudibly mutter a curse.
“Used to wanna fight Wakamatsu ‘cus he’d stuff this pussy all he wanted. Right?” He scoffs with a stupid, satisfied smile that you wish you could wipe off his face. “Shame that you broke it off, huh? Did he dump you when he realised how much of a whore you are?”
“Shut up…”
“Well, I don’t care. More fun for me.”
“Aomine—“
“Who else have you fucked in the basketball team?” He grunts. “In Touou?”
“Shut— shut the…”
You slap the back of your hand against your mouth—not willing at all to let him hear you be satisfied with his size—biting down on the flesh as he pushes his cock in. All of his cock in.
“Aomine—”
His cock is dragging against your wall, kissing every possible inch of your insides. Your hole continues to burn as he stretches you wide open, draining every last bit of energy from inside of you.
“ F-fuck…”
Your hand goes to fondle your own tit, rolling your hard nipple between your fingers, sloppily trying to garner more and more pleasure. His dick fills you more and more, stuffing you full, before finally stopping.
“Don’t act all reserved now,” he raises an eyebrow as you mewl out his name. He stays still for a moment, a bud of sweat rolling down his temple before pulling out of your homey cunt. “You don’t have to lie.”
Aomine bites his lips, letting his cock rest between your pussy lips. He sees the way they engulf his dick, moving his hips to rub against your core.
“Letting me fuck you on the school rooftop,” he murmurs, “where’s your fucking self-respect? Well, I wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t your first time getting dicked down up here.”
Your eyes slant up at him, but he quickly shuts down any of your retaliation by pressing his thumb flat against your clit, slowly circling the nub. Your teeth press down hard on your bottom lips.
“We aren’t— we are not …” You babble, putting a thumb between your teeth to stop yourself from moaning, “...having sex.”
He scoffs, drinking in how your eyes roll with your head turned to the side.
“I was inside you just a moment ago.”
Filthy noise of his cock squelching against your cunt filled the air—if someone were to come after you, they would hear Aomine’s dick fucking your pussy lips.
“Fuck,”Aomine spits, pressing your legs tightly against each other then down on your lips.
“A-ah,” You gasp as he drills into your thighs, the tip of his cock rubbing quick and hard against your swollen clit. “Oh my God—”
“Are you cummin’?” He breathes, one hand reaching to roll your tit on his hand. “Fuck, baby,” he murmurs, and you whine at the nickname. He snickers, “You’re so sexy like this, y’know that?”
Your back arches, little whimpers of encouragement swallow your pride whole as you fall completely into him. Aomine grunts at the expression, seeing the lewd expression on your face. He picks up the pace, slamming his hips against your ass.
“M’gonna cum,” he hisses. “Fuck. Wish I could shoot my load into your tight little cunt.”
“Fuck it,” you manage to spit between your groans, “F-fuck it. Just— oh God, just don’t stop—”
Your words rile him up even more—he tightens his grip on your leg, his fingers bruising your fragile skin. Your head begins to spin. Your slam your fists against the ground and your mind numbing orgasm comes the moment strings of Aomine’s thick, white cum comes flying down your skirt and stomach.
“Shit,” he loosens the grip on your legs, letting them fall even with your still convulsing ass and core. His gaze stays on the tip of his dick, the white cum oozing from it, then to your face—your parted lips, dumb eyes, and the sweat dripping down the side of your head down your neck.
He feels himself getting harder as he watches your plump lips whine, wondering how they would wrap around his thick length, if the colour of your lipstick would stain the veins of his cock.
“You coming to the onsen trip?” Aomine tries to distract himself.
You roll over, blindly reaching out for the bra that he tossed God knows where.
“Fuck you.”
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miss-hyoko · 1 year
Note
your "Privileged One" fic is so cute!! i can't help but think though, what if the childhood friend is physically affectionate? 🤔 (would they blush, LOL)
"We're sorry for the wait, dear customer. Your order of [Let Me Hug You!] gado-gado is now served. Tuck in and savor every flavor. If there's anything else we can assist you with, please feel free to reach out."
Let Me Hug You!
Character(s): Riddle, Leona, Azul, Kalim, Vil, Idia, and Malleus
Summary: His childhood friend is physically affectionate person
Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, pure fluff, platonic but can be read as romantic, reader is NOT Yuu, childhood friends, cute relationship between childhood friends, a hint of him having a crush on you if you squint
Note: Yay~ another childhood friends trope to deliver. Thank you for the amazing request, anon. I hope you like this. If there are any typos or grammar errors, please don't hesitate to let me know.
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1. Riddle Rosehearts
The first time you tried to be physically affectionate with Riddle when you both were kids, he was very startled to the point he straight-out jumped away from you like a scared cat. With eyes wide open, it took little Riddle at least a minute to process what had just happened. And when everything finally clicked, a deep blush crept up his cheeks, tinting them a vibrant shade of red. Then, just like a defenseless maiden on the verge of being violated, Riddle screamed loudly while accusing you of being rude.
Although his words sounded harsh, we all know Riddle didn't mean any of it. He just didn't know how to respond because this whole affection thing is quite new to him. Theoretically, he knows what affection is. But practically? He had never experienced it. At least, until you entered his life. It was kind of awkward at first, but over time, Riddle would eventually get used to being on the receiving end of your affection.
After the two of you were successfully accepted into NRC, away from Riddle's mother's strict tutelage, you became even more open with your affection towards Riddle. And although Riddle often scolded you about how you should behave appropriately as a student of NRC, he was secretly pleased by the fact that now he could finally relish himself in your affections without needing to worry about his mother's opinion.
However, no matter how much he liked being showered by your attention, Riddle was still a bit against you being affectionate with him in public. Though, as long as it wasn't too intimate to the point of attracting people's attention, he didn't mind a little act of affection, such as: holding hands, hugging, and a quick kiss on the cheek. If later anyone was stupid enough to mention how red his face was, then Riddle would directly get their head beheaded with zero hesitation.
Among the many gestures of affection you gave him, Riddle liked your temple massage the best. The way your hands move gently on his tight muscles while applying the right pressure never fails to make him relax both his body and mind, releasing the pent-up tension from his body. Enjoying your touch, Riddle sometimes unconsciously falls asleep during the massage session, showing how comfortable he could be with you around him.
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2. Leona Kingscholar
Ever since he was little, Leona never liked the idea of having any form of contact with other people, especially ones that included direct touch. So, whenever you try to be affectionate with him, an annoyed frown will make its way to his forehead as he continuously moves to avoid your hug attack with incredible agility. Only after you're too tired to move would Leona finally stop avoiding you and tell you to stop acting affectionately with him since it greatly disgusts him.
Despite saying that, Leona ultimately caved in and allowed you to do whatever you wanted because his heart had a soft spot for you. He told himself many times that he only tolerated your touchy-feely behavior because you're his childhood friend. However, he later became overly accustomed to it to the point he would find it strange if you didn't come to give him affection annoy him, even if only for a day.
In school, many NRC students often saw you hanging out with Leona. No one knows whether you're sticking to him or he's sticking to you, but one thing's for sure; Leona didn't like being disturbed when he was together with you. Those who dared to approach would surely be treated like an enemy by him. With eyes glaring daggers at them, he silently mouthed the words 'fuck off' as a warning to not take another step forward.
Leona never gave a fuck about other people's opinions of him; thus, he doesn't really mind if you're being affectionate with him in public. And even if he did complain, you don't need to take it seriously since it was probably just him being his usual cranky self. Another possible reason may be because Leona's aware of the numerous pairs of eyes focusing on you two, and he doesn't want you to be the subject of negative gossip. Well, even if there are indeed some bad rumors about you, you don't have to worry since he'll take care of it for you. Such a good friend he is, eh?
It's already common knowledge around the school that Leona often used his childhood friend as his personal pillow, so it's not really a surprise to know that his favorite form of affection is cuddling with you while sleeping. The warmth emanating from your body seeps into Leona's skin, reassuring him that you're still by his side. All the while, your steady heartbeat continues to be a constant reminder of your presence.
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3. Azul Ashengrotto
The moment you first attempted to express your affection towards Azul with a hug during your childhood, he instantly froze in his place; mouth hung agape and his face flushed a deep shade of red. Worriedly, you tried to touch him to bring him back to reality, but he let out a sudden scream and swiftly swam away to hide in his octopus pot.
Azul is not a stranger to affection, all thanks to his mother who likes to pamper him with kisses. Even so, receiving it from someone outside the family was a brand-new experience for him. Initially, he won't stop fidgeting whenever you try to give him affection. But soon enough, he learned to relax and even reciprocate it, albeit awkwardly. Azul may not openly show it, but he loves the affection you give him and he looks forward to it every day.
Upon enrolling at NRC, Azul, with a heavy heart, had to reduce the frequency of being affectionate with you since he had a professional image to maintain, much to both your and his dismay. He had grown accustomed to being showered with your affection, and now he must stop receiving it? Azul bawled his eyes out in his heart.
Fortunately for him, you still continue to give him your affections every day like usual. Although not as often as before, because you also considered the persona he had worked so hard to create, Azul is still happy to have his daily dose of affection. If other people were nearby, Azul's cheeks would be heating up from embarrassment and he lightly reprimanded you to compose yourself. But who will take his words seriously when he makes little to no effort to push you away.
Surprisingly, Azul's favorite form of affection was when you touch his cheek; smoothing it, pinching it gently, or squeezing it. He loved the way your hand felt against his skin—warm and reassuring. It made him feel special, like he was the only one in your world. And to top it off, you always cooed sweet nothings whenever you did it, which could make Azul feel a bit bashful. But… as long as it's you, Azul won't fight back.
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4. Kalim Al Asim
Ever since you were little, you had a unique habit of tackle hugging Kalim every time you two met each other. At first, Kalim was taken by surprise, but then he would quickly reciprocate the hug with an even tighter embrace while bursting into hearty laughter. If it weren't for someone eventually intervening and separating the two of you, there's no doubt that you and Kalim won't end the hug anytime soon.
Being a naturally affectionate person himself, Kalim always welcomed your displays of affection with open arms. In fact, he wholeheartedly encouraged you to express your affection as frequently as you pleased because he's more than ready to receive it with arms open wide.Growing up, the intimacy between the two of you has not diminished even a bit. Instead, it increased to the point that people often misunderstood the relationship between you and Kalim. Kalim himself doesn't find anything unusual about his interactions with you. After all, you and he are best friends, so isn't it natural for you to love each other?
Whenever and wherever, Kalim had no reservations about displaying his affection for you in public. If you happen to pass each other in the hallway and countless eyes are watching, Kalim will still rush to give you a warna hug and a quick peck on the cheek. With a gleam in his eyes, he would then present his cheek to you, hoping you would reciprocate the gesture.
Out of the many affections you have given him, the one Kalim loves the most is your embrace. No matter how often you hug him, Kalim will never get tired of it. Wrapping his two arms around your body, Kalim basks himself in the warmth and comfort of your embrace. For him, there existed no greater place than the sanctuary of your loving arms.
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5. Vil Schoenheit
Besides the rosy hues that grace his cheeks, little Vil doesn't show any excessive reactions whenever you're physically affectionate with him. He simply reprimanded you for startling him and then telling you to let him know in advance so he won't be caught off guard next time. All in all, he doesn't mind if you want to be physically affectionate with him.
When he was younger, Vil adorned himself with only the lightest touch of makeup, so he had no problem with you touching or even kissing his face. If it were anyone else, Vil would surely not grant them such privilege. But because you're his childhood friend, you're the only exception.
As he grew older and began to wear makeup more often, Vil started prohibiting you from casually touching him like before. Hugging and holding hands is still tolerable, but touching or kissing his face is only allowed when he's not wearing makeup. Don't misunderstand; Vil still cherishes all the affection you give him, yet his job as a public figure demands him to appear perfect at all times. But don't worry, he's still your Vil Schoenheit in private.
Being both a model and an actor means that Vil's every move is watched by the media and the public eye. Therefore, he strongly forbids you from being affectionate with him in public. He doesn't care if there are negative rumors that may tarnish his reputation; instead, he's more concerned about your life being disturbed by his fans.
When the day is almost over, Vil usually allows you to play with his hair for a while before he starts his nightly routine. He likes feeling your fingers running through his locks, gently caressing them with utmost care. Vil wants to let you know that he's not that fragile, but at the end of the day, he chooses to remain silent and enjoy the affection you give him with a faint smile.
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6. Idia Shroud
Whenever you try to get physically affectionate with little Idia, there are always four possible reactions he can give: he might let out a loud shriek, reflexively dodge you, become a stuttering mess, or even do all three in succession.
Let's be real; Idia wasn't a big fan of physical contact with other people. But since it's you, someone he holds dear along with Ortho, he's willing to make a little exception. It took him a while to get used to your touch, but now, when you try to be affectionate with him, he will only get slightly startled with a light blush spreading across his cheeks.
During your time at NRC, you can't be all touchy-feely with Idia as often as before because he rarely shows up in person, opting to send his tablet to fulfill his stead. That's why, every time school is over, you head straight to his room and cling to him like a koala. Although a little flustered, Idia doesn't shy away from your touch; he just asks you to move a bit so he can continue playing his game.
Idia strongly dislikes being affectionate in front of many people and being the center of attention. He'd much rather enjoy your company and affection in the privacy of his room. Plus, being stared at by many people while receiving your affection would distract him from fully savoring the moment.
Idia often tells himself that he's not the biggest fan of physical affection and that he's just getting used to you being touchy-feely. But when you lean against his side, resting your head on his shoulder, Idia will unconsciously lean back on you, savoring the warmth of your presence. At that moment, time seems to slow down as he feels the gentle rhythm of your breath and the comforting weight of your head against him. A small, genuine smile forms on his lips, as if your touch has unlocked his hidden vulnerability and he finds solace in your presence.
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7. Malleus Draconia
When you first give little Malleus a physical affection in the form of a hug, he is taken aback for a few seconds before a small smile adorns his slightly blushing face. Without hesitating, Malleus would take your hand into his and ask you to repeat what you just did earlier, eyes sparkling with excitement as he waited for you to hug him again.
Being the crown prince of the Briar Valley, Malleus was both respected and feared, causing others to maintain a cautious distance from him. In the big palace he called home, Malleus always felt lonely all by himself. So when you entered his gloomy life and gave him the affection he had always craved, Malleus couldn't help but become attached to you. As a young fae, he was quite clingy back then, often asking you to hold his hand, hug him, and occasionally requesting a kiss on his cheek.
The NRC students, no matter how frequently they witnessed it, forever found themselves astounded when they caught sight of you randomly giving the legendary Malleus Draconia a surprise hug from behind. What made it even more remarkable was that Malleus himself didn't display any sign of displeasure. On the contrary, a gentle smile graced his lips as he playfully pinched your nose, revealing his enjoyment of your endearing acts. It was evident that he welcomed your playful gestures and had no intention of putting an end to them.
If you choose to shower Malleus with affection in the presence of others, rest assured that he will not harbor any anger or annoyance. Instead, a light chuckle would escape his lips as he let you do as you please. By demonstrating your affection for one another, Malleus believes it lets people know that you and him have a very good relationship that was built on a strong foundation of trust and affection.
It's not wrong to say that Malleus enjoys holding hands with you wherever you both go, but if he had to choose, Malleus prefers it more when you play with his hands. Whether it's comparing the size of your hands, tracing the lines on his palm, or simply interlocking your fingers together. Through these seemingly simple gestures, Malleus discovers an unparalleled sense of happiness. Each touch, each moment of connection, carries a profound significance for him, serving as a testament to the depth of your bond together.
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bellaxgiornata · 8 months
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I'm Right Here
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: After the threat of Sanctuary came to an end and peace returned, you stayed behind in Alexandria where Daryl felt you’d be safest, but he continued with the rebuilding efforts outside of Alexandria's confining walls. With Daryl gone for days on end, you soon found yourself constantly plagued by nightmares again–and the fear that he no longer wanted you.
Warnings/Tags: 18+; light angst, graphic violence, nightmares, emotional hurt/comfort, implied smut
a/n: I used to write for Daryl so much years ago and have been dying to write for him again! I do have another fic in the works for him and feedback is always appreciated!
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With the flashlight aimed straight ahead of yourself, you stepped one foot carefully inside of the dilapidated and darkened clinic. Cautiously you began to shift your weight forward onto your foot, internally praying that nothing was lurking behind the dust-covered front desk on the wall to your right. It was damn near impossible to see anything inside the building without the light from your flashlight with the way the windows had long since been boarded up.
Gradually you eased your way further inside the building, one foot moving slowly after the other as you scanned the room from left to right. You left the entrance to the clinic ajar behind you in the event you needed to run; you didn’t want to waste time fighting with a closed door if a handful of walkers surprised you in these dark, enclosed quarters. But that didn’t stop the hairs raising along your forearms, a prickle of fear running through you at the prospect of something or someone sneaking up behind you while you searched for the medical supplies your group desperately needed. Though you knew Daryl was out checking the perimeter right now, which meant nothing undead should be able to sneak up on you from the outside at least.
Scanning what once had been a waiting room, you saw a handful of upturned plastic chairs scattered along the floor. A few were broken in what must’ve been a scuffle that’d occurred at some point since the world had gone to shit. Garbage and debris littered the outdated tile floor, but thankfully there were no dead lying dormant nearby. 
Shining your flashlight upwards, always overly cautious, you spotted the sagging ceiling tiles from compounding water damage over the years. You grimaced, internally planning to give the area beneath it a wide berth. You didn’t want to risk being trapped under debris if the ceiling happened to collapse while you were here.
Lowering the flashlight beam, you scanned the waiting area once more before dropping your guard just a little bit more. You wanted to get in and out of here as fast as you could so that you could get back to the others before the sun set tonight. It wasn’t exactly like you had time to waste since Michonne desperately needed whatever supplies you could find here. Unfortunately taking your time fully scanning the area like you usually would wasn’t an option right now–and at least Daryl wasn’t in here to scold you for that.
Feet hurrying across the dirty, tiled floor, you made your way through the waiting room and towards the door all the way at the back of the room. Most likely it led to the actual patient rooms where there would hopefully be some basic supplies not too picked over. And maybe if you were lucky there would be a supply closet somewhere around here that hadn’t been picked clean yet, either. Though admittedly whatever you could get your hands on would have to do for now.
Stopping in front of the door, you briefly switched your flashlight to the same hand as your knife, awkwardly holding the pair as you reached out with your now free hand, twisting the door handle before gently pushing it open just a crack. Immediately you readied yourself, swapping your flashlight back into your other hand and raising your knife, ready to strike a walker if it came barreling towards you.
Except only silence met your ears.
Carefully you pressed a shoulder up against the door, pushing it open wider. The beam of your flashlight instantly flooded the short, dark hallway. There were three doors to your right and three to your left, a single door at the opposite end of the tight space. 
Teeth gritting nervously together, you slowly slipped around the door you’d just opened, surveying the few open rooms as you moved. You didn’t like that only a couple of the doors were closed, that fear of something sneaking up behind you only growing. With your heart hammering just a bit harder in your chest, you moved carefully to the open room on your right. 
Shining your flashlight inside, you spotted what looked like a regular doctor’s office. A tattered and sun-faded bed was to the far right, a cork board covered with photos and holiday cards with dates from years long past were on the wall just beside it. As you shined the flashlight to your left in the small space, you spotted two more of those plastic chairs you’d seen in the waiting room lined against the wall. Shining the beam further to your right, just beside the door you’d stepped through, you spotted a sink and a few cabinets on the wall opposite of the bed.
Relief flooded through you as you hurried over, quickly opening the cabinets on the wall. You found gauze, cotton swabs, bandaids of different sizes and shapes, and rubbing alcohol filling the shelves. Eyes widening in surprise at the abundance of supplies, you swiftly removed the backpack from your back, setting it down onto the countertop beside the sink with a soft thunk . The sound of the zipper being undone was loud in your ears, contrasting with how quiet the clinic was as you opened the main compartment of your bag, but you kept your focus on the task of grabbing everything you could as quickly as you could. 
With your bag open and your left hand shining the flashlight onto the cabinet’s shelves, you set your knife down beside your bag on the counter. Hurriedly you began to swipe item after item, tossing each one into your backpack one after the other. You figured if there were items like these still here in this room, there was hope that something even more useful might be found in a supply closet somewhere. 
Though while you frantically continued to fill your bag with medical supplies, you’d admittedly become so distracted by your thoughts of what else you might find that you hadn’t realized you weren’t alone anymore. It wasn’t until the walker lurking nearby had come up behind you, latching onto your shoulders with its partially decaying hands in a grip that felt far too strong for anything other than a newly turned undead, that you’d accidentally startled and screamed. In your fright, your hand bumped your knife that you’d set onto the counter and it proceeded to fly off the countertop, landing with a loud clatter by your feet and entirely out of your reach.
Struggling against the walker's grip on you as it shoved you further forward, the countertop biting uncomfortably into your stomach, you heard more rasping and growling coming from nearby. Your hand flew backwards, trying to smash the walker’s head in with the butt of your flashlight, but its skull was considerably more solid than a walker that had been decomposing for far longer than this one. A wash of fear ran through you when you realized your flashlight wasn’t going to be able to save you right now.
Still struggling to remain out of the reach of the walker’s teeth, your hand precariously placed against the thing’s unnaturally pale forehead, you tried with all your strength to shove it backwards. But that familiar sound of more loud, rasping, growls soon met your ears once again–this time louder. Seconds later there were more walkers shuffling in through the door, the movement catching your eye. In your unfortunate moment of distraction, the walker you’d been trying so hard to hold back leaned forward just enough to sink its teeth onto your wrist and clamp down hard.
A scream ripped its way up through your chest, tearing its way shrilly out of your mouth as the walker bit off a chunk of flesh and muscle. Hot, fresh blood began gushing its way down your arm as visceral pain shot through your body so blindingly powerful that you hadn’t even noticed the other walkers already descending on you. Though soon you felt their hungry hands grabbing at your arms and your back just before another sharp burst of searing agony cut through you when a second set of teeth dug into your back, just below your left shoulder. You cried out, warm tears spilling forth as realization set in.
They were going to eat you alive.
A third set of teeth snapped at your neck, a strangled cry weakly flying out of you as it clamped down hard on your skin. More of your blood began to soak you as the thing tore away another mass of your flesh, the coppery tang of it strong in the air. But as the bodies of the dead continued to press you further into the corner, keeping you trapped as they continued to tear into you, you swore you heard Daryl’s voice calling your name. Your eyelids slowly fluttered shut at the sound of it, your mind trying to focus on that instead of the hands and teeth repeatedly clawing and biting at you.
But just as you’d tried to focus on his familiar and comforting voice, another set of teeth latched onto the side of your jaw and a scream shot itself out of you yet again when the walker’s mouth viciously pulled .
Eyes flying wide open, your heart was fiercely pounding away against the confines of your ribcage, thrumming so hard that you could feel it in your throat. Your body was covered in a sheen of cold sweat, the sheets beneath you noticeably damp against your slickened skin. Gasping and wheezing for air, your hands fisted the soft cotton sheets that felt so wrong in this world, though it took your mind a moment longer to register that your right hand had actually tightened around someone else's instead of fabric. A second after that you noticed the weight of a hand gently residing on your bicep and your pulse swiftly escalated further as your head darted to the side along the pillow, expecting to find a walker holding you down on the bed with its rotted and discolored teeth barred in hunger at you.
Instead you saw Daryl kneeling beside you at almost eye level. His long dark hair was its usual disheveled and dirty state on his head, a few of the strands falling into his face. The corners of his eyes were creased in concern as they focused on you, his face contorted into worry despite the thin line of his lips. Even through the darkness of your bedroom, you couldn’t miss the panic and fear written so plainly on his face.
"Hey, hey," he soothed in that familiar gravelly voice. "'S'me. You're alright. Just a dream."
Swallowing hard, you continued to pant heavily while attempting to calm the racing of your heart, Daryl’s hand reassuringly squeezing yours as you inhaled a shuddering breath. As usual, your nightmare tonight had been disturbingly vivid and it required a minute for you to remind yourself that it had only just been a dream. You’d been having them for weeks now almost nonstop, though you’d first begun to have them back when the dead had initially begun to rise. But you’d quickly noticed that they didn’t trouble you whenever Daryl was around, especially once the two of you had long since stopped dancing around your feelings for each other and become a couple. 
Usually you’d spent most nights at his side, comfortably and safely curled up against his solid and reassuring body. You used to fall asleep to the even sound of his breath in your ears and the warmth of him against you. But he’d been restless ever since Negan had been dealt with and Sanctuary had fallen. He’d been spending all of his time outside of the looming walls of Alexandria helping Rick and the others with whatever he could, clearly trying to work through some of his own shit–or trying to ignore it. Occasionally, every few days, he’d stop back in Alexandria to deliver whatever food he’d caught and stay the night with you. Though the last time he had done that was so long ago now that you couldn’t exactly remember how long ago it had actually been. 
And he absolutely refused to take you with him. Always telling you that you were safer here , behind the walls and in the community. With everyone else. But the truth was that you missed him. Missed his comforting presence being such a constant around you. You hated pretending that life was safe and peaceful and perfect in this little community day in and day out with its electricity and showers and fancy home decor. It resembled a life you’d had once, one that was long gone. You worried it was making you soft, wearing you and the others down to something weak . 
That fear was what you figured had restarted your nightmares here. Your dreams always involved you or someone else–often Daryl–making a stupid mistake and getting themselves torn apart by the dead. Or of an invading group coming in and taking over, easily picking all of you off one by one because you’d become too trusting and naive in your communities.
But you figured the nightmares had also restarted because of the distance it felt like Daryl was putting between the pair of you, both physically and emotionally. You barely saw him anymore. It felt like you were losing him and that terrified you. Though of course you never told him that, too afraid that such blunt honesty would fully send him running from you. You never told him about the nightmares, either. The only one you’d confided any of that with was Carol.
Carol.
She must’ve said something to Daryl if he was here right now, kneeling beside your bed and silently staring at you with that pained expression on his handsome face. There was no other reason he’d have shown up in the middle of the night like this. He only ever showed up in the afternoons when the day was half over.
“Hey,” you greeted him awkwardly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
“Hey,” his deep voice rasped out. “Heard ya screamin’ from downstairs.”
“Right,” you whispered, eyes dropping down to where his hands were still holding onto you. “Had a nightmare, that’s all.”
Daryl grunted out a noise in response. You could feel the way his eyes were fixed on you right now, studying you carefully. The weight of his stare was beginning to make you anxious and unsure of what to say next.
“Carol said you’ve been havin’ ‘em for a while now,” he said a moment later. “How come ya didn’t tell me ‘bout ‘em?”
“Can’t really talk to you when you’re not here.”
The words had left your mouth before you even had a chance to stop them. Sucking in a sharp breath, your eyes darted back up to his face. Obvious hurt was etched across his features in the dim moonlight slipping past the curtains. You opened your mouth to apologize and take the words back, terrified you’d just made the mistake of upsetting him and sending him running off on his bike and avoiding you for days on end, but his reaction surprised you.
“You’re right,” he muttered guiltily. “Haven’t been here with ya much lately 'cause I been busy helpin' Rick.”
For a moment you laid there stunned, mouth still hanging open as you gaped at him. That was absolutely not the response you’d have expected from him. Daryl usually growled and got angry, disappearing for days on end, leaving you without a word while he attempted to process his emotions and thoughts. You had never liked when he did that, rare as it often had been lately, but you knew he had a complicated past which had often complicated his ability to discuss emotions and feelings, even with you. It was why you hadn’t said anything about his disappearances, choosing to bottle up your own feelings instead. You already saw him so infrequently, you didn’t want to risk him disappearing for even longer periods of time.
But it seemed like right now you were both about to discuss his growing absence, no longer able to put it off. And for some reason that only had nerves twisting and roiling uncomfortably in your stomach, afraid this wasn’t a conversation that would end well. 
“Why?” you asked him timidly, pushing yourself slowly upright in the bed. “Are you…not wanting to do this anymore? With me?”
Daryl’s face twisted into a look of confusion and shock at your question. The sight of him so taken off guard by that idea helped ease a bit of your nerves, though you still felt the way your stomach was knotting inside of you in anticipation of his answer.
“What?” he asked sharply, eyes narrowing in disbelief at you.
He shook his head, his hands finally releasing their hold on you as he abruptly pushed off the bed, rising back up to his full height. He paced his way towards the other side of the room, his eyes downcast as he faced the curtained window, running a hand through his hair. You frowned at his back.
“No. That–that isn't why I been gone so much,” he replied gruffly.
“Then why won’t you let me come with you?” you asked quickly, tossing the sheets off of yourself. “Why do you demand I stay here? Without you? You know I prefer staying in camps with you, Daryl. Being by your side. Know that I also feel caged and confined when I’m here just like you do. Why’re you pushing me away?”
“I ain’t pushin' ya away!” he snapped, turning around back towards you. 
You hesitated on the edge of the bed, your feet just brushing the floor. Daryl was standing across the room from you, his shoulders heaving visibly in the darkness. You’d touched on something, that much was obvious from his outburst. 
“So then why?” you asked him softly, slowly rising to your feet. “Because I–I miss you, Daryl,” you confessed, tentatively padding along the wood floor towards him, afraid to move too fast and scare him off. "It feels like I'm losing you."
“‘M right here,” he gruffly replied.
“Yeah,” you agreed slowly, continuing to gradually make your way towards him, the air cold against your still sweat-dampened skin. “For now. Until you hop on your bike in the morning and leave me for another few days.”
“I ain’t leavin' ya,” he shot back.
“You sure about that?” you asked, unable to hide the frustration in your voice. “Because you always tell me to stay here and then run off without me.”
“Safer here,” he muttered, his eyes dropping back down to the floor. “Told ya that already.”
You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest. That was always his explanation and it was getting old.
“Safer than what , Daryl?” you snapped.
“Then out there!” he growled, throwing a hand towards the window. “You’re safer here , behind the damn walls with the others lookin’ out for ya! I just wanna keep ya safe , alright? Why’s that gotta be a goddamn problem?” 
“Don’t you miss me? At all?” you asked him, emotion thick in your voice.
His shoulders dropped a bit at your question, the anger visibly dissipating from him. He reached a hand up, rubbing it across his mouth as he nodded once.
“‘Course I miss ya,” he said, tone noticeably softer. “Miss ya every goddamn day. Miss your smile and your laughter. Even miss your smartass jokes,” he confessed, the corner of your lip gradually curling upwards at his admission. “Miss your inability to be quiet for more than a damned minute, even if I don’t miss the way ya always scare off whatever 'm trackin'.”
Biting your lip, you laughed lightly. The sound drew a faint smile onto Daryl’s mouth, his eyes rising up to linger along your face in the darkness.
“I don’t scare them off that often,” you said.
“Manage to scare off rabbits whenever I take ya with me,” he countered.
“Well,” you replied slowly, “rabbits are cute.”
“And I got a lotta mouths to feed,” he pointed out. “Don’t matter what’s cute if we can eat it.”
You sighed, rubbing a hand across your forehead. As nice as it was playfully arguing with him again–something you had certainly missed–this wasn't what you needed to talk about at the moment. And judging by the way Daryl awkwardly shifted his weight between his feet, suddenly growing quiet, he was aware of that, too.
“You know keeping me here doesn’t necessarily make me safer than anywhere else, right?” you asked quietly. “Here, with you at a camp, any of the other settlements. Hell, you could lock me in a tower, Dixon, and still something could happen to me.”
“‘Cause ya act without thinkin’,” he grumbled.
You shook your head, hugging your arms tighter around yourself. “Not the point,” you told him. “The point is: anything can happen to me anywhere .”
Daryl grunted, his body tensing up at your words. You saw the slight crease form between his brows as his eyes narrowed back at you once again.
“That s’posed to make me feel better?” he asked, an edge to his tone. "'Cause it don't."
“No,” you answered. “No, but my point is that it doesn’t matter where I am, nowhere is guaranteed to be safe anymore. And I would rather be by your side where I feel safest, Daryl," you told him 
Hesitantly you uncrossed your arms, lightly placing your hands on his chest, just over his vest. The leather felt cold beneath your palms, a chill running through you. Daryl’s own hands carefully landed on your hips when you shuddered, his touch instinctively causing you to take a step closer to him.
"What the hell is the point of keeping me safe if I’m not with you, anyway? I miss you,” you continued, attempting to swallow the lump forming in your throat. “You’re the only good thing left in this world to me. The only person I want to spend my days with, Daryl. Who knows how much longer any of us have anymore. And you keep taking that time together away from the both of us everytime you leave me behind."
"Not tryin' to do that," he whispered. "Wasn't tryin' to make ya feel unwanted, neither."
"Then take me with you," you practically begged. "Tomorrow when you leave again. Please. I can help with whatever Rick wants, but when I go to sleep at night I want to lay my head down next to you, Daryl. Every night. For however many nights we have left."
Daryl’s eyes narrowed back at you, quietly contemplating your request as he chewed his lip. Gradually your hands slid their way up his solid chest until you could wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him closer to you. 
"Don't you…want that, too?" you questioned him nervously.
His left hand released your hip, instead rising to gently grip your chin between his fingers. He carefully tilted your face further up towards his, his gaze locked on yours so intensely that you felt the prickle of goosebumps along your bare forearms. It took every ounce of self-control not to close the space between you both and kiss him.
"Want ya always," he muttered. "'S'why I wanted ya here. Safe."
He paused, his brows twitching together briefly as if he was struggling to find the words to say more. You stood there with your arms still snuggly wrapped around his neck, quiet and patient as you gave him the time he needed, desperately hoping he would say whatever it was that you could clearly see was on his mind. 
“I just don’t wanna lose ya,” he eventually admitted, fingers releasing your chin as his hand slid back to gently cup your cheek. “Couldn’t stand it if somethin’ happened to ya. And after everythin’ that just happened–all that shit with Sanctuary and Negan–it just–just…”
He trailed off, his eyes closing as he winced like he was in pain. The corner of your mouth tugged downwards, your heart aching at the sight of his inner struggle. He continued before you had a chance to say anything though, his calloused thumb lightly stroking your cheekbone as his gaze fixed back on you.
“But ya got a point,” he said. “I been missin’ ya. A lot. ‘S’just not right without ya with me, but I was tryin’ to do right by ya. Keep ya safe ‘stead of bein’ selfish.”
“That’s not being selfish, Daryl, it’s called living,” you countered gently. 
He grunted in assent as he nodded slowly. “Alright,” he murmured. “I’ll take ya with me tomorrow. Rick’s got somethin’ he needs me to do. Could probably do with another set of hands.”
Teeth clamping down on your bottom lip, you attempted to fight the smile growing on your lips as a thrill shot through you–at his agreement to bring you with him and because something else was now very much on your mind with his close proximity to you. One of your brows quirked up at Daryl and he huffed out an amused breath, shaking his head at you.
“What?” he asked, a small grin on his face.
Your mouth curved upwards mischievously. “I could think of something else you might need another set of hands for,” you answered coyly.
He snorted out a laugh instantly, his eyes creasing at the corners. You laughed lightly along with him, unable to resist whenever you heard that rare sound of joy coming from him.
“Goddamit, woman,” he said, still grinning back at you. “Always got one thing on your mind.”
“Don’t tell me you don’t, either,” you teased. “I mean I did say I missed you. And it has been a bit.”
“Yeah, yeah. C’mere,” he muttered, pulling you towards him with the hand still cupping your cheek. 
He quickly closed the remaining distance between the pair of you, connecting his mouth to yours in a sweet, gentle kiss full of so much feeling and tenderness. You could feel the way he’d missed you just from the way his mouth was moving against yours. Though it still never ceased to amaze you how soft and loving his kisses and touches were for a man with such a rough exterior. 
With Daryl fully filling your senses–his muscled body pressed flush to the front of yours, the scent of leather, gasoline, and sweat filling your nose, the wet sounds of your mouths connecting over and over loud in your ears, and the taste of him on your tongue–it didn’t take long for you to lose yourself entirely in him, a heat beginning to grow between your thighs as his mouth finally began to give in to your eager and hungry one. As you continued to kiss, your hands wandering into his hair while his began to wander over your body, you could feel his growing arousal stirring against your thigh, the pressure of it only encouraging you. 
Which was why you were surprised when he broke away from your mouth after a few minutes, the sound of both of you breathing heavily filling the otherwise silent bedroom. You sent him a silent, questioning look as your chest heaved, wondering if you’d done something wrong.
“Should talk ‘bout those nightmares,” he whispered.
“Later,” you promised, hands tangling into his hair. “Right now I just want you.”
“Told ya already,” he murmured, leaning in to lightly kiss you once more. “‘M right here.”
Tugging his mouth back down towards yours, you began to walk both of you backwards, leading him towards the bed as your hands began to slide the leather vest from off his shoulders. The only comfort you wanted right now was the kind he provided each time his mouth lovingly lingered along your skin, the way his hands affectionately touched you in ways you couldn’t explain, and the way he filled you and made you feel whole, always reminding you of what you’d gained in this world instead of what you’d lost.
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ofstarsandvibranium · 2 months
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Playing with Fire: The Photobooth
Fandom: Marvel (Dad's Best Friend AU)
Pairing: DBF!Bucky x F!Reader
Summary: Your dad's coworker and best friend, Bucky, decides to tag along with you on your errands after your boyfriend bailed on you last minute.
A/N: Bucky is in his late 40s, reader in her mid to late 20s. inspo came from these recent pics of seb.
The Book Store
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Further into downtown, you stop at another store that sold different types of knick knacks and gifts.
Bucky follows you out of your car and towards the store, "Yelena's birthday is coming up so I figured I can check this place out for some stuff for her."
"I'm following you, sugar," Bucky says as he enters the store and is immediately met with a plethora of color and trinkets.
You zero in on a shelf that displays little crystal figurines. You smile at the ones shaped like animals, some shaped like Pokemon and Sanrio characters.
Yelena always had a thing for elephants so you immediately pick up an elephant carving made from amethyst.
"Those are cute," Bucky says as he looks over your shoulder.
You turn to him with a grin, "Right?! Lena, would love this," you hold up the elephant with a wide smile.
"She likes elephants?"
You nod, "She likes how smart and cute they are."
Bucky watches as you head to the pay counter and ask the cashier if you could place the crystal carving there for now. When the cashier nods, you thank them and head back to Bucky.
"I just wanted to make sure I don't accidentally drop it while I look around."
Bucky continues to follow you around the store until his eyes land on a photobooth in the corner. His eyes brighten, "Oh, hey! Check this out!" He takes your hand and leads you to the booth, "Haven't used one of these since high school."
You scrunch your face up as you think, "I don't think I've actually used one of these before."
Bucky looks at you in surprise, "Really?" You shrug and he opens the curtain to it, "Well let's do one then."
You snort, "Seriously?"
"Yeah, c'mon. Better late than never, right?" He takes your hand again and pulls you in. He sits on the bench and you do your best to squeeze in beside him.
"This isn't gonna work out, here," he has you stand and then he pulls you onto his leg, "Better?"
You gulp, "Y-Yeah."
You try not to pay attention to the hand that rests on your hip as he pays and picks out the amount of pictures and strips. He leans back and points at the screen, "Okay. It's gonna count down for us before every picture. There'll be four pictures all together so be ready."
"Right. Got it. What should we do first?"
"Uuuuhhh happy?"
You giggle and you both smile when the screen counts down to one. You two work quick, "Sad?"
The both of you do your best to look sad. You frown while Bucky straight up looks like he's wailing. When the camera snaps, you lose it. You find Bucky's face absolutely hilarious and he's watching you laugh at him. You're too caught up in the moment to realize that the countdown started and took your picture.
"Oh crap. Uuuuhhh, silly face?" he asks and you nod.
You blow out your cheeks and cross your eyes. He pulls out his ears and sticks his tongue out.
He pulls back the curtain again and has you step out first. You realize how warm you are now so you start to fan yourself. He walks out with a grin, "That was fun."
He leans against the booth while waiting for the pictures to print, "I can't believe you never used one of these before."
"Just never caught my interest, I guess. But I definitely see the appeal now. I'll have to come back with Yelena to use it."
Bucky cocks a brow, "Not your boyfriend?"
Your smile weakens at the mention of your boyfriend, "Oh, um, John doesn't like taking pictures together. He thinks they're dumb."
Bucky's brows raise, "Thinks they're dumb?"
You shrug, "He thinks taking pictures together and posting them is like showing off. So he said he doesn't need to show off our relationship because we both know we're in one. I don't really get it, but I got tired of arguing with him on wanting to have keepsakes for memories," you look down in shame. The only person who knows how John is like is Yelena. When around your dad, John puts up a front. Like he's the perfect guy to you. He's not bad, but sometimes he's not good either.
"And this is the same boyfriend who ditched you today?" Bucky asks with a look on his face you can't even decipher. Is he mad? Annoyed?
"He didn't necessarily ditch me, Bucky. He had a deadline to meet for his capstone project."
"Right and I'm sure he already knew of this deadline and proceeded to procrastinate anyway."
You cross your arms over your chest defensively, "What's your issue with him? You don't even know him, Bucky."
"You're right, I don't, but from just the little information you've given me today, I don't think he's the right guy for you."
"Don't think you have a say in the guys I get involved with, Bucky," you say with a scoff and turn around to walk away but he grabs you by the elbow, "Wait, wait."
You turn back to him and raise a brow, arms crossed over your chest. He sighs, "I'm sorry. I just know you deserve better."
"Thanks but I'll be the judge of that, Bucky. I'm an adult. I'm responsible for my own decisions."
"Yeah. I know, but still. You deserve to be with someone who isn't afraid to show you off, ya know? Makes time with you and does everything to make you happy."
You nod, "I know. Thanks, Bucky."
"Sure," he lets you go to continue to shop for Yelena.
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