#source: schitt's creek
incorrect-natshig · 2 days ago
Shigaraki: So, other than cooking, what basic life skills don't I have?
Kurogiri: I'm not sure we have time for this conversation today.
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timdrakeismypatronus · 3 months ago
Jason when he notices Tim’s mental health is dipping a little too low:
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lesbian-deadpool · 3 days ago
Y/N: Bucky, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican!!
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incorrectlestappen · 4 months ago
George: We’re going to play a game called “two truths and a lie.”
Lando: Why don’t I start?
Lando: I’m miserable, drunk, and I hate this game.
Lando: Here’s a hint: I’m not drunk.
George: Okay, that’s the wrong attitude-
Charles: Okay, my turn.
Charles: My eyes are blue, I drive for Ferrari, and I am dating Max.
George: Right idea Charles, but you know, it’s got to be more challenging-
Alex: His eyes are green.
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mischiefhasbeenmanaged · a month ago
Sirius: *to James* so since you’ve planned me and Moony’s wedding Prongs, where will be getting married?
Remus: Probably a parking garage *snorting*
James: Actually those were all full so uh-
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Charles: We’ve come to take you home!
Peter: Three days later!
Erik: nobody knew where you were, and your phone was off!
Peter: I texted Scott!
*everyone slowly turns to scott*
Scott: …I’m sorry for not responding to like, ONE, text Peter-
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westannatasharomanoff · 2 months ago
Natasha: *threatening random strangers at a party*
Clint: Natasha, what are you doing?
Natasha: Attempting to be social, support me
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batfamgalore · 3 days ago
Bruce: What took you so long?
*Walks in holding Coffee and a paper bag*
Tim: Uh, you said it was an emergency, so I came straight here.
Bruce: You stopped for coffee?
Tim: And a breakfast burrito that I got to go. So what’s going on?
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rwbybutincorrect · a month ago
Weiss: You strike me as the sort of person that had a hard time in high school.
Ruby: Thank you.
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Father Son Bonding Time
Thranduil: Next step is to fold in the cheese.
Legolas:…what does that mean? What does ‘fold in the cheese’ mean?
Thranduil: you fold it in.
Legolas: I understand that but how do you fold it? Do you fold it in half like a piece of paper and drop it in the pot or what do you do?
Thranduil: Legolas, I cannot show you everything.
Legolas: Okay, well can you show me ONE thing?
Thranduil: You just-here’s what you do, you just *fold* it in.
Legolas: I don’t know how to “fold in” BROKEN cheese like that!
Thranduil: And I don’t know how to be any clearer! You take that thing that’s in your hand, and you-!
Legolas: If you say “fold in” one more time-
Thranduil: IT SAYS FOLD IT IN!!
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the-black-bulls · 5 days ago
Rill: The game is "two truths and one lie." Charmy, you go first.
Charmy: Okay, my hair is black, my eyes are brown, and one time I was summoned by the gods to save the universe with my special seven transformations.
Rill: Right idea, Charmy, but you have to make it more challenging—
Luck: Her eyes are green.
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theacegreenbean · a month ago
Nico: Oh, I’d kill for a good coma right now…
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terry-perry · 3 months ago
Steve: Well, it's a treat seeing you two, going at it again. Kids! Come in and say hi to your uncle Loki!
Y/N: Better hurry before he disappears for another decade.
Loki, gushing over the girls: Oh! What? Look at you guys. You've grown.
Natalie: Why did I think that you were dead?
Loki: Ah, you're so sweet. Now how long has it been since we've seen each other?
Daisy: I think you crashed one of my pool parties with some guy you were calling "Uncle Mobius."
Loki: Oh! I remember that. All right, you guys treat yourself, okay? Buy yourself something nice.
Daisy: A hundred dollars?! Oh my goodness wow.
Natalie: Oh my god! Oh my god, I missed you. I missed you so much! I missed you so much.
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lesbian-deadpool · 2 months ago
Clint: Wait, one pizza? What is this, Les Mis?
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that-siriusblack-grin · 5 months ago
*Playing two truths and a lie*
Sirius: Okay my turn! Um… okay. My eyes are brown. I’m basically sample-sized. And one time I escaped from a Thai drug lord’s car trunk by bribing him with sex.
James: Right idea, honey, but it’s got to be more challenging for everybody.
Remus: His eyes are blue...
James: You did what?!
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superdogbiter · 6 months ago
Loki:”I think you’re my best friend”
Mobius:”You think?”
Loki:”Well i can’t know for sure because i’m just realizing i’ve never had one before”
Mobius:”If we’re being honest,i don’t ever remember having a friend either”
Loki:”This would be a really sweet moment if it wasn’t so sad”
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incorrectmetalfamily · 28 days ago
Victoria: The game is "two truths and a lie."
Ches: Okay, my turn, my turn, my turn. Um... okay. My eyes are blue, I am basically sample-size, and one time I escaped from a drug lord's car trunk by bribing him with sex.
Victoria: Right idea, Ches, but you know what? It's gotta be more challenging for everybody in the room-
Glam: His eyes are brown.
Victoria: You did WHAT?
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addicted-to-his-knife · 2 months ago
Shilo: I think you’re my best friend.
Graverobber: You think?
Shilo: Well, I can’t know for sure because I'm just realizing I’ve never had one before.
Graverobber: If we’re being honest, I don’t ever remember having a friend either.
Shilo: This would be a really sweet moment if it wasn’t so sad.
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novelist-becca · a month ago
Lilith: Let's play two truths one lie. I'll start. My eyes are brown, my hair is dyed, and one time I almost got petrified before I left the Emperor's Coven.
Gwen: Right idea, honey, but it's gotta be more challenging-
Dell: Her eyes are green.
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incorrectcentaurworld · 3 months ago
Horse: I think...you guys are my best friends.
Wammawink: You think?
Horse: Well, I can’t know for sure because I’m realizing now that I’ve never had one.
Zulius: This would be a really sweet moment if what you just admitted wasn’t so sad.
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