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#they're homeless and i can't take it anymore >.<

hollyhomburg · 4 months

Text

Before I Leave You (Pt.66)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Wolves always go for the throat, whether they’re cornered or hunting.

Tags: Blood, Guns, violence, near death experiences, everyone lives nobody dies...but someone does die this chapter, horror, non-lethal injury, talks of death and dying, a bit of body horror, Trans! tae, Tae is briefly dead named in this, implied/referenced intimate partner violence, flashbacks, brief suicidality.

W/c: 8.3k

A/N: ahhhhhh <3 we're finally ready for this part of the story <3 i wonder what your guys reactions will be, i'm really glad i decided to split this chapter into two peices! it's much cleaner this way. don't be 🥲 too mad at me.

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

(Four years prior, Hoseok)

Today is the day that Hoseok will meet his future pack, he just doesn’t know it yet.

It always feels like a bit of betrayal but the worst and best days of your life often come close together. Maybe just for contrast. A bit of good in the bad. A slice of cake in a feast of raw meat.

This starts as just another bad day in a long stretch of shitty days. The kind of days were anxiety bubbles up and how afraid you are is all you can think about. Taking one breath and then another like just staying alive means you're guaranteed to get better.

The only place to go from rock bottom is up, and hoseok's sneakers are firmly on the concrete, standing outside of the record store in the rain with no place to go.

Hoseok has been afraid for a long time. He can't really remember even if he thinks hard, the last morning he woke up not afraid.

What hoseok really needs is a day off, but he really can't fucking afford it. He can't afford anything- certainly not a one-bedroom apartment on his own. If he's really really lucky maybe he'll be able to find a closet room somewhere that will cost almost his whole paycheck. Because after today-

After today, Jung Hoseok will be homeless, packless, and alone. His pack dropped the news on him last night…or well ex-pack.

He doesn’t expect that he’ll be moving into the pack's house on this rainy day, he doesn't expect that by the end of the week, he won't be worrying about where his next meal will come from because Jin will be there with it ready. Jimin sometimes too.

He won't be worrying about where he'll sleep because the bed in their spare room that smells like tae tae tae will be his. He'll roll around in it when the door is closed, shy about it because Hoseok has never liked other alpha's scents so much before. And when he comes home and Jungkook has made a nest in it, it will feel like a bit of an impossible silver lining, a bit too much- to have an omega making him a nest, making something special just for him

It takes three weeks for Namjoon to make him a house key for himself. After he gets left outside in a very similar storm to this. The doctor will touch his cheek, thumbing at the dimples that they share. how special is it that each smile gets cradled like a crescent moon? the heavens have left imprints on both of their skin. Freckles for stars and dimples for moon's.

"I don't want you to get sick pup."

"People don't get sick from wet heads anymore hyung."

"They don't. But I want to keep you dry and comfortable in my den. i know you still want to look for apartments but...what if you didn't?"

But neither the weather nor Hoseok knows to prepare for good news. Right now the heavens open up and release its deluge, thick rain the way that only happens at the start of summer. Worms and other wriggly things crawl their way out of their holes to find a good spot to die next to Hoseok's shoes. Worn fancy sneakers that his pack-omega had gotten him a few months ago for their anniversary. They're the nicest thing he's ever owned.

His ex-pack omega.

It's hard to rewire your brain, especially for alpha's. Hoseok is a lone wolf. He hasn't been without a pack in so long, it feels weird to not have someone to call, someone he needs to trail after and cling to. He checks his phone but he doesn't have a single notification from them.

He doesn't have a single notification from anyone.

Hoseok is glad he doesn't feel his instincts as keenly as other alphas do. Otherwise, he might be inclined to gnash his teeth at the people who pass by him on their way to work, umbrellas almost bumping him, perceiving even closeness as a threat. So vulnerable without a pack (lone alphas are always the first to starve in winter).

Hoseok shivers even though its summer, he's soaked to the bone after a few minutes.

He has a key to the record store. He could go inside. Granted- he should be inside already. Opening up shop, making coffee, and letting the place warm up. But standing out in the rain feels too much like penance.

Hoseok likes the rain. The smell of it. The way it makes the whole world ache and go still. He feels every drop on his dark hair, soaking through his thin hoodie. It's cleansing almost, letting the rain soak him through.

(The end of relationships is always hard, let alone the end of abusive relationships, they’re downright terrible).

Hoseok keeps replaying their words in his head, with every slosh of a nearby car, every honk of a taxi. The stoplight red and green bleeding onto the wet concrete. Yellow flashing in contrast with hoseok's dark memories.

“You’re welcome to stay here until the lease runs out, but the four of us need to move back home. You understand Hobi don’t you? We’re just omega’s- we’re just girls- and we think this could be a clean break for all of us. We just don't want to lead you on any longer.”

The worst part is that Hobi had sort of known, had sort of already realized what was happening. he’d seen it in their looks; distant and despondent. Their touches that did not linger longer than necessary, cheeks turned as he comes in for a kiss. The phone calls hushed in the other room that cut off abruptly when he entered.

The lease on their apartment ends today. The place has already been professionally deep cleaned and Hoseok's things are packed in his car in plastic bins. He has 6 of them to his name.

He doesn’t have a place to go yet, he might just sneak into the back room at the record store and sleep there until he figures something out. Hoseok drove to work early because he didn't have another place to go.

This version of Hoseok is not the one you know, this version of Hobi is 23 and hopeless, can’t think about moving back in with his parents a city away, with nothing but a rusted-out Corolla that barely gets him to work let alone through the 200-mile trip. It will die on him in about 6 months and Namjoon will be thankful that Hoseok no longer is driving around in a deathtrap.

He hadn’t even gotten this job by himself, his pack omega- his ex-girlfriend had gotten him this job almost 4 months ago after his last one didn’t pan out. Temporary work for temporary people.

Nothing feels like his. Not his body and certainly not this job.

Hoseok hasn’t smoked in months, but something that feels an awful lot like self-disgust worms under his skin and he can’t resist. Not today of all days. Smoking is something that he doesn’t indulge in often, and hasn’t indulged in since… becoming an alpha to someone. But he guesses it doesn’t matter now without anyone to complain that they don’t like the smell.

The cigarette mixes with the smell of petrichor and Hoseok’s own acidic scent. The smell of a terrified alpha draws him more than a few looks but he pays them no mind. He's thankful for his soaking face, at least the rain keeps out the tears. Cool and soothing against his face.

Hoseok just wants- Hoseok just wants to call them. To talk to someone.

Ending relationships is always like this. You want to keep being good, keep being what they want, but that’s impossible. You can’t act or behave right and dupe someone into loving you. Sometimes the love just isn’t there. (A smaller shyer voice says it was never love at all, you can't possess love, only be given it and Hoseok feels like a cast aside possession. Love and abuse cannot coexist).

Hoseok should have known. He keeps replaying the moments in his head. He’d seen them exchanging knowing looks when they thought he wasn’t looking.He thought he was just being paranoid, until yesterday morning when they’d taken him aside.

“You knew this had to end one day Hoseok" "You knew one day we'd move on." "As much as we appreciate what you’ve done for us, we think it’s time for us to move on.”

“What do you mean? I thought we were leaving next week, you really left me with only a day to find a place to go?”

“We’re sorry Hoseok, your last rut was just too much to deal with. We think it's best if we just stay on our own. It's a clean break this way.”

"Wait, please- I love you."

"We know. We're sorry."

Hoseok is too much for anyone to deal with. He doesn’t call his friends (he hasn’t met up with any of them or returned their texts in months thanks to several pointed words from his pack omega). He doesn’t go inside yet because he deserves the rain. He sits out front of the record store, smoking a cigarette that will probably end up killing him down the line, and thinks Good.

He tells himself the irritation in his eyes is just because of the cigarette smoke blowing in his face, even though he knows it's not. He's not even inhaling right because his breaths come all hitched and pathetic. Anyone would be sad if their relationship of several years had ended. Anyone would be devastated.

Hoseok checks his phone again. Nothing.

Most people on the crowded street ignore him. Though the thick throng of people going about their business, probably going to work at their 9 to 5 jobs that pay enough to afford apartments and packmates. Hoseok is the one soul that stands stationary.

Until one, someone a few feet back stops, tipping their face through their hood to look at him. The only other person without an umbrella.

Hoseok knows his face and his name. It’s just Min Yoongi- his coworker and sort of friend who's coming in for his shift. Hoseok doesn't love Yoongi yet but they're sort of friends already. They might be better friends if Hoseok could get over his admiration and jealousy.

Yoongi has this way of quietly taking care of the people around him. He picks up Hoseok's jacket when it slides off the hook at work, asks him if he wants coffee and even pays for it when he goes to the coffee shop next door. He compliments Hoseok's music tastes when it's his turn to play something, he gives Hoseok the aux frequently in a way that feels a little bit like flirting.

The only two good things about Hoseok's job are the music and Min Yoongi.

He even laughs at Hoseok's shitty jokes when they're stacking new inventory saying cryptic things like "they can't be worse than my omega's jokes."

That's why Hoseok's jealous. Yoongi gets packmates, five of them who make him lunch even when he's only got a four-hour shift. that often linger outside to walk him home or pick him up in their shiney not new not old cars.

(Yoongi's packmates certainly have better things to do than send Yoongi to work with a second packed lunch. "Jin-hyung caught a glimpse of you through the doorway, the only thing that he hates more than Namjoon's snoring is skinny Alpha's.")

Min Yoongi has that look that people do when they're well-loved by packmates. Hair ruffled and neck dotted with bruises that might as well be mating bites for a beta. Beta's don't mate, but these ones certainly keep him close. He wears their scents like a shield. Sometimes so thick that Hoseok can't even smell any of his chocolate scent.

Right now, staring at Yoongi a few paces into the street, all Hoseok can smell is the rain.

When Hoseok had been introduced to him it had felt strange just by virtue of Yoongi's sub gender. A beta? Working somewhere so normal? Weren’t beta's supposed to be like- financial advisors or assistants to the president or something? Betas are supposed to have more important jobs than pushing vinyl and bumping Hoseok's shoulder playfully.

(Hoseok hasn’t seen it yet, the way that the owner hands over little white baggies to people who come in looking hungry for a high that cigarettes or alcohol can’t fix. Hoseok hasn’t yet realized that the record store isn't just a record store. This is just one front business of many that the family has organized across this city and the country for distribution of some of his most precious inventory). Yoongi has worked her for the last year, takes calls in the back for the family. The owner only bows to him when Hoseok's not around.

They only hired hoseok for tax purposes. Having three employees looks less suspicious than just two.

The beta looks concerned, and Hoseok knows he can’t hide the fact that he’s been crying as the beta steps up and pushes Hoseok back under the awning. Out of the rain and into the warmth of the doorway. This kind of movement would make any alpha snap, but not Hoseok. Hoseok just tucks his chin down and starts to cry.

“Oh Hoseok.” Hobi sniffles, and wipes his runny nose on his sleeve. Yoongi's hand curls against his throat, chocolate scent spiking to soothe. “You’re soaking wet."

Yoongi grabs his wrist and Hoseok almost keens at the gentle touch. Whole body shaking, shoulders curling in Yoongi's direction. Yoongi’s lips press into a thin line and then tugs him inside.

~-~

(Now, You)

You hold your breath. Still peering around the corner, watching and waiting for the man to spot you.

But he doesn't, after a breath where his soft footsteps echo, you wait, but nothing happens. You peak back around the corner.

You absorb and catalog the details as fast as you can; the black ski mask, covered by one of those traditional Korean masks, wooden with red lacquer. This one is a little different than the one that Jimin had; not twisted with thick eyebrows in a snarl. This one is white with red splotches on the cheeks, like a ghost sent down from above to rob you of your humanity.

The bulletproof vest stops at the collarbones. The gun itself is a black generic model. The long end is extra bulbous with something that might be an attached silencer. His hands covered in black nitrile gloves, leathery at first glance. There is a knife at his waist along with a barrage of other small things; rope and a knife, duct tape and handcuffs. His heavy boots look steel toed and reinforced.

The man (because it is a man you realize; tall, maybe taller than Namjoon) trains his gun at the landing on the top of the stairs. Pointing it in the direction of Hobi, Tae, and Jin’s hushed voices.

Hobi giggles and it sounds so bright. Echoing off the walls and filling the house with his musical laughter.

There is a phone cord tangled in your hands, long and white. You grip it tight.

This man might be silent but you’re quieter as you slide your bare feet across the smooth floors. Your strides are so quiet. You take one step and then another until you're behind the man, mirroring him.

You remember when Yoongi redid the floors, it was one of the few things that he did right away; before the pack came to live here (to love here). It took him weeks and weeks of sanding before he got them to his liking. Days more of brown dark stain that colored his hands ruddy until the soft matte finish stuck. Every pass with the belt sander and dirty rag a movement of love, a meditation for it.

Yoongi made every inch of this house with the same loving intent; to make it a home for all of you. a place to be safe and nurse your wounds and hearts. You won’t let it become a grave. You won’t let this person stay here and ruin it.

Most people get it wrong; In order to kill it is not a matter of elegance or effort. There is no such thing as a perfect kill either. Emotionless and analytic isn't enough and being justified only gets you halfway. There is no way to do it cleanly. People die just as they live, messy and hopeful and dirty.

Murder isn't a matter or wanting or wishing, It’s a matter of rage.

It’s always been this way. Rage has been chewing a hole through you from the moment that you pulled the trigger with Geumjae. From the moment you said ‘I do’. Rage that these violent things have been done to you, that they continue to happen, that you can’t just get away from all the hurt and trauma.

Rage has eaten you clean through to the bone. Rage has made you skinny and starving, rage has made you timid and fragile. But now you're the hungry one. Right now, only three words run through your head;

How dare she.

How dare she send this man into your house. How dare she point a gun at the upstairs, in the general direction of your nest and your packmates. The altar at which you so desperately cling to, for sweet dreams and sweeter worship (There is no deity above the god of love, not even death. Death cannot take the love from your chest, someone dying does not make you stop loving them).

How dare she even think about hurting the people you love.

There is no courage, no bravery, no thought in your head about how stupid it might be as you step closer behind the man. You are not a trained assassin. You’re just an omega.

The adrenaline rush is an old friend, a thrall both intoxicating and unnerving. Your heart beats loud in your ears. You grip the phone cord in your hands and take a quiet steadying breath. He doesn't see you, he doesn't hear you, he doesn't know that you're behind him.

Wolves always go for the throat, whether they’re cornered or hunting.

The assassin’s foot ascends the bottom step. You don’t let him get to the second before you’re moving, hurtling forward. Footsteps no longer light. Your hands go over the man’s shoulders. The cord no more than a white flash across his vision before you draw it tight across his neck.

The pain and panic are instant as you’re suddenly tethered to a six-foot-four assassin and struggling to stay on your feet as he stumbles back. You’re pulled off your feet and down the stairs, but you keep it as tight as you can and you don’t let go. Fighting to keep your makeshift garrote tight as he scrambles to get his fingers around where it digs into his skin. Spluttering loud.

The hard wire digs, cutting easily through plastic and then your skin as he tries to pull you off. You don’t let go until he backs you into the entryway wall and slams you against it with a dizzying clang of bone and body hitting something solid. Your head narrowly avoids one of the hooks that the pack hangs their coats on. An inch to the left and he'd have impaled your skull on it. An inch to the left and you'd be dead.

A single inch.

His head slams into your face, and you feel something in your nose pop, flooding your mouth with blood so thick you choke.

He slams you against the wall once, twice, and then a third time until your grip goes slack and slippery with blood. It knocks the breath out of you, and he finally throws you off. You both fall to the ground like stones. Both of you gasp and struggle for breath. At least one of your ribs it broken, but because of the adrenaline you can't even feel it.

When the man lifts his black gloves to his throat, they come away glossy with blood.

(It’s crazy how you never notice the change from the day to day, one day you are begging for a reason to hold on, a reason to live, and the next you’re fighting tooth and nail to keep going. Just about gnawing your own arm off to get out. To survive and live to see another day. Another sunrise.)

By that time the air has returned to your lungs it’s enough for you to scream. “Jin! Jin! There’s someone in the house there’s-”

You try and inhale through your nose and blood makes you choke. You push at the floor with your hands, struggling to stand, fingers slippery and tacky with your blood.

The man tries to scramble up the stairs but you latch onto his legs and make him drop. Doing everything in your power to keep him from going up to them, to your packmates. Hugging his ankle to your chest to slow him down (the same way you’ve hugged Namjoon’s arm and Yoongi’s, the way you held Hobi in the nest on the couch just a few shattered days ago).

The man turns the gun on you, pointing it to your head, you flinch, waiting for the shot-

and open them as He heaves a frustrated roar before he wheels away and turns, aiming at the top of the stairs instead of right in your face.

You could have died right then. could have and should have, but you didn’t. Your brain is too messy with adrenaline right now to make sense of it.

Why didn't he shoot?

The gun goes off, a bullet whizzing by Jin’s head. His face, scared, on the stairs flashes ever briefly. Ducking for cover just in time. The doorframe explodes in a cacophony of dark wood splitters. The doorknob sparks and bursts into a million pieces with another shot. metal clanking against the ceiling, the walls, down the stairs.

One second, you’re holding onto his heavy leather boot, and the next it’s colliding with your face and you’re out like a light.

Getting hit in your face is always such a disorientating experience. You’d never gotten used to it, even with Geumjae. Granted it’s hard to get used to the stomach-churning low vision feeling of weightlessness, like vertigo only worse.

"Hobi! don't- jesus fucking christ-"

You’re not quite sure what happens next only that you can’t see for a moment after the boot hits your face, and you take big breaths through your mouth. Blood, you taste blood. And then your vision comes back. Black spots and all and there’s Hobi’s face in front of you. No assassin, just him, helping you up from the floor. You're not on the steps anymore but at the bottom of them.

“The kitchen, the kitchen," Blood rushes over your bottom lip. Hoseok wipes it away, inhaling a jagged breath. "He’s-”

He pushes at your shoulders. “The car- get to the car.” It feels impossible. This can be happening in your house. Are you about to have a shoot-out in the street? On your quiet cul-de-sac? But then, in the corner of your vision dark movement.

You tug Hobi’s head down the second that the gun goes off- probably saving his life, definitely saving it as the bullet tears through the banister and ends in a hollow thump in the wall. he may not have shot you but he has no quams shooting at Jin and Hobi. The bullets hit the wall- Maybe 6 inches above your bent heads. Too close, close enough that Hobi trembles in your hold. And he rips something- a piece of the doorway, out of his arm with a wince before he covers your body with his own.

The volley of gunshots are so loud, so vicious as they blow things apart, tearing holes through Yoongi’s coat, the doorway, the banister, and the narrow stairway rungs. Pieces of wood hit your curled forms. Hobi shoves your head down when you try to look.

There is wetness, hot, something hot on your hands, your neck, you know it’s blood before you look. You think it’s from you until the Gunsmoke clears and you realize- fingers skimming across hoseok's forehead, a gash above his eyebrow.

A bullet graze by his hairline thats bleeding profusely. head wounds always bleed a ridiculous amount.

There are more bullets behind you but it’s just Jin returning fire.

Jin’s got Tae behind him. Her face ashy and pink from the shower and panic, her mid-length dark hair such a tangle, cowering behind his back. Jin's gun is so much louder without the silencer. Did he bring one upstairs? Or did he get it from Jimin’s stash?

Jin nearly drags Tae to the three of you, and she clings to you. Your hand finds her face. Fingers are red and bloody smudging against her cheek, blink and you're back there a million moments in the past; dotting red blush across her cheeks with a brush- your fingers- kissing it into place with your lips- painting a line of maroon across her eyelids to bring out the lighter flecks in her eyes- Watching her twirl in a red dress. Pressing your red lips against hers in a quiet dark moment in the library room. With her in Hobi's red car- Everything red.

If it starts with red, maybe it's fitting that it ends in red too.

Jin doesn’t give you time to reminisce. Pushing her shoulder down hard. His bare chest splattered with splinters from the door. Covered in wood fragments that stick to his black sweatpants and damp feet. Shouting, “All of you get down!”

You follow your pack omega’s words. Hobi and Tae With their damn alpha instincts blanket you as Jin fires again. The shots are so much louder in the small space. Another shot, another thunder strike. tae grips your wrist tight, your hands.

When you look down, they look mutilated. you can see bone in one place, deep gashes across the centre of your palms.

Your ears ring and you can't make sense of anything over the noise. Jin returns every bang with a boom of his own, bright flashes lighting up the dark staircase. Casing after casing tinkling down to the floor, rolling across the floorboards

But then, for a second- the gunfire goes quiet.

The house creeks and the three of you hold your breath. Jin's still half-concealed. The air heavy and clouded with gunsmoke and the smell of blood.

Hobi tentatively gets onto his knees and then stands when he doesn't immediately get shot at. You make a small noise in your throat, the loudest that you dare, but he’s looking after Jin, standing in the darkness, hackles raising his angry scent of burning sugar acrid in your nose. His hand slides out of yours, your blood on his palms.

And then you hear the rush of boots, echoing in the living room, near your nest- you’d never unmade it after you and Hobi fucked there. You'd been too busy taking care of Jimin. Hoseok bears his teeth.

Hobi turns, sliding out of your hands quicker than you can grab him. Quicker than you can tell him that he’s being dumb, that he’s being suicidal.

“Not my girlfriend! You asshole!”

The world is a dizzying cacophony of gunpowder, pain, bullets, and shouting. Jin yells Hoseok’s name. But the alpha heads after the assassin regardless of your cries. Jin narrowly keeps him from running headlong into no mans land. the open area by the door that would leave Hoseok a sitting duck.

Tae’s standing up on unsteady legs as you all spill out of the stairs into the narrow hall. Out from her hiding place cowering behind the banister. Your attention isn’t on her it’s on Hobi. Neither you nor Jin are looking at her. You’re running after him on shaky legs. Jin holds you both back, trying to corrall you. The air is cloudy with Gunsmoke, hazy and heavy. Her eyes are wide and pretty like dark marbles as she watches Hobi.

They’re just as pretty when the gun presses to the back of her head.

Everyone turns and goes still. The man has Tae in his arms, hand in her hair making her neck arch. The gun pressed to her jaw. Finger on the trigger.

Her body trembles and she doesn’t turn, frozen still in fear a shallow whine building in her throat.Jin has the gun trained on the man faster than you can make to step in Tae’s direction. But it’s no use.

He must have gone around, run through the livingroom through your pantry. A similar path that you took to surprise him. He must know the floor plan of the house, must have studied it to prevent situations like this. You have no upper hand here with tae in his arms.

Tae’s mouth is buttony and parted, but it settles into a resigned line.

Jin’s never been a good enough shot- not for one like this, even barely 10 feet away. He might hit Tae. Shaky, Jin takes his finger off the trigger and stoops down to put the gun on the floor. His other hand is up, already surrendering when the man jerks Tae's head back by her hair. Rougher than he needs to be.

“Don’t shoot her, please don’t shoot- please.”

The man juts his chin at the gun on the floor. “Kick it away now, be a good omega.” Jin grits his teeth but does as he says.

The man’s voice is rough as gravel. Dignified, but with no obvious accent. Not the quiet cadence that you’ve come to expect from the family. Neither posh nor lowbrow. Something in between. Flat and monotone. You're sure that you've never heard his voice before.

“I have to admit, your file said you’d be resistant, but it said nothing about you being dumb as fuck and a poor shot to boot.”

Jin licks his lips and bares his teeth, “Put that gun back in my hand and then say it again.” The masked man cocks his head to the side and then shrugs as if Jin's fury doesn't mean anything to him.

But He’s bleeding, it trails down to the floor so the words can't be genuine. It's a small wound, a graze on his right thigh. Red bright and hot that drips in onto the floor from his pant leg.

His hand tightens in Tae’s hair. “Line up against the wall. Now. Or I’ll blow her brains out in front of you."

You move first, eyes trained on Tae. But he snaps, eyes unreadable behind that mask, “No- not you. I’m not here to kill you.”

He tosses something to Jin and he catches it. Handcuffs that jingle and clink. Your foot hits an errant bullet with a similar tinkle. “Handcuff Jin to the stairs Hoseok.”

Your names, he knows your names. Your mind races over every detail, every moment trying to piece together a way to get out of this. a way to save them.

“Why are you doing this?” Hobi’s trembling, shaking. “Did Jimin-”

“Jiminie did nothing.” The man croons dragging the barrel of the gun down Tae’s cheek leaving a dark smudge in its wake. It's red on her face, the barrel must still be hot, your blood crusty around her lips.

“Honestly though, you should know he was a shit assassin. Truly piss poor even by industry standards. They always threw him the easiest kills."

The three of you are quiet, if he was hoping to elicit a reaction or more of a fight You don’t give him the satisfaction. Although jin grits his teeth, gnashing anger and an omega's feral instinct to protect their pups.

You step forward hands open, barely two steps from Tae. If you can just get to her maybe you can-

“Please- please don’t kill them."

He cocks his head at you, and you can hear the grin in his voice. “Oh no, you misunderstand me I’m not going to do any of it.”

He taps Tae’s head once again with the gun and Tae starts to truly struggle. You tremble in fury and horror as you realize what he means with a sickening lurch in your stomach.

“This is how it’s going to work Y/n” You still at the sound of your name. “Taehyung here is going to shoot Jin and Hoseok. And then once we’re sure they’re good and dead, I’ll kill her.” He tosses you another pair of handcuffs, these ones are meant for you.

You take one step closer; Jin's gun is between your feet now. But you couldn't pick it up or else he'd shoot Tae. Time, you just need a minute to figure out what to do. How to get them out of this.

Yourself now, that's a different story. If you where in Tae's position you'd turn your face to the side and bite the mans hand.

“And what about me then? If they're all dead what’s to stop me from fighting?” he seems to consider it only briefly, the gun in his hand tilting so that you can see the dark oval where the bullet will come out, where it will rocket through Tae's skull and take all the little worlds she dreams of, all her poems and words and make them nothing.

“You think you're so precious? I’ll just kill you.” he says it like it's nothing. like you're nothing. He nods to the others, appealing to them and not you. “What do you want? All four of you to die? Or just three? What will hurt Namjoon the least? Do you think Yoongi will survive loosing his mate? What do you think Jinnie?”

You think of Yoongi's mating mark, the spot on his hip where your small curved semi-circles sit. You think of them turning black- a brand of a dead mate. You think of Hobi's eyes opening and never closing again. You think of Jungkook nesting without Jin and you. Of Namjoon holding out his hand and having no one to take it without Jin there.

You won't let any of this happen.

The others shoot each other unsure glances but you shake your head. you shake your head because earlier on the step, the man didn't take the easy shot, the easy kill.

If he really had orders to kill you, he would have done it then.

you step forward and shake your head. “I don’t believe you. I know your orders are to take me. That’s what all of this is about isn’t it?” The man doesn’t drop his weapon. Just presses it tighter to Tae’s jaw.

“Handcuff Jin now Hobi. Or else I’ll-”

You see the darkness settle in Jin’s eyes and before you know it he's turning to you, eyes flat. Endless in their darkness, the way they might if-

You don't let yourself consider it. You won't let it get to that point.

“Pup-”

You guess it does make sense, having you kill each other as opposed to the assassin doing the dirty work and implicating Moonbyul. If you really are on that ‘no kill list’ like Yoongi said at the hospital, having you take out each other is the only logical course of action. Once Tae kills Jin and Hobi, she'll be free game. This is the only way retribution won’t fall back on her. This is so similar to what she tried and failed to do with Jimin and Jin. This is a second attempt.

Only-

Only this time, you have a bargaining chip.

You step forward, in front of Hobi and Jin, blocking them from his line of sight. Barely a pace in front of Tae, but from the way he tightens his grip on her you know that you can go no further.

“You can take me; I’ll go with you. Willingly.”

Jin makes a noise in his throat and tries to move, but dares not when the man tightens his grip on Tae’s hair hard enough to rip a bit of it out.

“That’s what she wants, isn’t it? If you just let them live I’ll go with you.”

The man is silent for a second. Hobi trembles and so does Jin. For a second, you truly think that he’s going to take the bait.

But the mask is directed towards the floor, then back up at you. “Those aren’t my orders.” His finger is on the trigger so close to Tae’s head. “Now cuff him, I don’t want Jinnie getting any ideas.”

Hobi’s hands are shaking as he unwillingly shackles Jin to the steps as slowly as he can. He's buying time too. Every second and every heartbeat is precious. Both ends loop around a single rung and click closed. The rung itself is a little loose from a bullet that blew it apart near the bottom, it’s got to be the loosest one. Hobi turns, and you see the pre-meditation in his eyes; he chose that one so that Jin could still get free if he tried hard enough.

Everyone is trying. Everyone is defiant. The quirk of Jin's eyes as he settles, staring with rage at the man, his voice a quiet croon when he says what might very well be the last words he ever speaks.

“Tae you can close your eyes honey, it’s okay.”

"No I can't" She struggles harder against his hold, but it only gets her part of her hair pulled out with how rough the man jerks her, tears clouding her vision. "I can't- don't- please-"

Tae's soul has always been butterfly soft and flower tender. She's not made for this. She's not made for murder or pain or anything that lacks softness. She's never been a killer; Jimin was always that side of their coin. Saint and sinner.

Your body goes cold and for a second, you think you just might pass out, especially when Hoseok grips your wrist. One final squeeze in what can only be goodbye before he steps away and in front of jin. Hair puffed up. Jin is lowering his eyes and no no no.

No.

Tae is staring at you, eyes wide and scared, but you watch in total powerlessness as her eyebrows lower. You see the moment Tae thinks it. Eyes meeting yours, lips mouthing something that you can’t read. Maybe I’m sorry no.

I love you. Sorry.

The truth is that Jimin drilled this with her years ago before she left for college and he couldn’t follow. When Jimin first realized that for the first time in their lives she’d be without him as a constant protector. Delicate delicate Tae with her delicate pink soul. So vulnerable to the world and all its wickedness.

Tae didn't confront him about it until the nightmares were waking him up regularly. They were simple nightmares back then; images of Tae hurt and mugged. Tae beaten and left in an alleyway. Tae stalked through the night. Simple, but enough to keep him awake. Enough to torture him in his wakon hours as well as the nighttime.

If Jimin saw her now he'd pull the heavens down and demand something truly awful in exchange. He'd take one of the knives from the kitchen and gut him from belly button to addams apple. He'd eviscerate him- and Namjoon might help.

Hut there is no one here to do any of that, there is only Tae in the man's hold.

“What are you so scared of?” She’d asked one morning, trailing endless patterns on his chest in an effort to soothe him back to sleep.

“Something happening to you while I’m not there, mostly.”

“Would it make you feel better? If you taught me the basics?”

Jimin's pause is telling, more telling are his eyes, hopeful when he looks up at Tae. “Yes, it would.”

It’s been years and years since Jimin Tae have bothered to drill any self-defense sequences it at all. Since he stopped asking her to refresh the basics with him once a year just to make sure. Jimin never thought that Tae would have to use those skills. Like with most things, you just sort of hope you don't have to fight.

But Tae knows you did fight. It's written all over your bloody face and your bloody hands, tightened to fists by your side. If you fought tooth and nail to save them she should fight too.

Tae has written fight scenes like this before. If she survives the press of the gun to the back of her head, she’s gonna have one hell of a personal experience to pull from for her book. The content will be endless.

She seems to swell in the space, alpha shoulders settling back. Her mouth is moving, mouthing words her eyes on you. Just in case this is the last thing she ever does.

I’m sorry, I love you.

“Be a good boy and pick up the gun Tae.” Tae bends down, syrupy slow. Intentional with her every movement. One heartbeat. Another. Tae's fingers are maybe an inch from the gun when everything goes haywire.

When she's about halfway bent she uses her momentum to hurl her body back, slamming her head into the gun and then into the man’s face. Cracking the mask and from the sound of it, the man’s nose. Tae's almost knocks herself out with the force of her own head colliding with the man’s face.

She turns, she’s not finished, not even close. She might be a woman but she’s an alpha too. Alphas always always fight to protect their pack. She turns and swings.

And drives her elbow as hard as she can between the alpha’s legs.

Hobi can’t stop his flinch. That has to hurt.

The assassin’s gun goes flying, skittering across the dark floor and under the bookcase and Hobi ends up lunging for it. You go after it too but you end up holding Tae instead, crumpling to the floor without anything to hold her up. She’s holding the back of her head, eyes watering.

The traditional mask lyes in pieces around you, shatered by the force of tae's headbut. The man clutches his nose, features still covered by the ski mast. Growling out- "Bitch- fucking bitch! I'll kill you. I'll fucking kill all of you-"

Jin struggles yanking his cuffed hands down as hard as he can- in another minute he might get loose, but not quick enough as Hobi finds the gun and raises it. The bullet hits the molding beside your pantry, missing the man by inches as he dives away to safety. A lucky shot by any standard, let alone for a beginner. Hobi shoots off after him. knocking into the wall before he's up and chasing it.

“Are you okay, Tae, Tae- look up at me.” Tae is clutching the back of her head. Blinking rabidly. That fucking hurt even if it was worth it.

“I’m fine just-” She leans over your legs and vomits, retching loud and horrible. Concussion- she must have given herself a concussion. Namjoon told you months ago how to read the signs of them shortly after the first time Jungkook ever had a seizure in front of you.

You hold her shoulders, watching Jin try and break himself free, yanking his wrists hard enough that it has to hurt. Moving to try and help him.

And then Hobi makes a noise in the other room, a pained ghasp, A thump and then-

Tae is already up and running, stumbling into the wall. You glance at Jin. "Go- just go" Jin grinds out. But Tae has longer legs than you do even concussed.

By the kitchen, Hobi slips on a fallen tangerine. (You remember then, Yoongi clearing the table with a brush of his hands for Jimin, tossing a whole bowl of them onto the floor. Where they've stayed since then) they're fighting, the man must have managed to disarm Hobi somehow because the gun sits under one of the chairs. Both of them are fighting just beside the dining room table. Part of it splintered and broken where someone broke it.

They're grappling on the floor now. Pushing against each other trying to gain the upper hand. you've watched the alpha's wrestle before- small disputes to settle and reaffirm the hierarchy, but you've never seen hobi move like this. You watch the man grasp at his waist reaching for the knife. His hands so slick with his own blood that it clatters to the floor. Hobi may not be trained but he's a fighter too. Gnashing his teeth and growling. Reaching up into the shallow gash at the mans throat and digging in his fingers.

And then he’s got Hobi on the ground and his hands around your alpha's throat. Tae tries to get him off but he backhands her, sending her sprawling to the ground and clutching her cheek. Too dizzy to stand. Big hands that squeeze and squeeze and squeeze Hobi's narrow throat. Spit at the corner of his lips turning frothy as hoseok tries to breathe and can't.

“I didn’t come this far to get killed by a bunch of family rejects; 11 years and 1458 kills later and I will not die. Just give up already- I didn’t come this far to-”

Hobi’s face is turning purple, hands scrabbling, pushing against his face trying to get him off unsuccessfully. Dying there on the floor. Hobi is going to die right there if you don't do anything.

Jin is shouting from the other room and there is a frying pan in the kitchen. On the countertop that you snatch on your way past, winding up for it before you swing it with all your might at the man's head and-

At the end of the day, it’s hard to say exactly what kills him. Whether it's you or Tae who wields the killing blow. It’s more of a group effort between you and her.

Tae has read countless books that described love as some gentle force, but this love has not made her gentle. Tae cannot sit there on the floor and watch Hobi die. She'd do anything to protect him and the pack. She’d kill people like Minnie did, would lie just as Jin had, would have sacrificed anything- even herself just like Yoongi.

Love had always been giving in Tae's mind, and she would give countless sins and untold violence, to have this not be the last day with you and the pack.

The gun is just sitting there under the chair. tae hardly has to lean over to get it. (If she makes it out of this alive, she swears to himself that she'll finally start taking those kickboxing classes that Jungkook teaches.) Tae lifts the gun at the same moment that your hand descends with the frying pan.

Tae turns, points, aims, and fires. She doesn’t even think twice about it. The trigger goes down as easily as breathing.

Getting shot in the throat definitely distracts him enough, definitely makes him let go of Hobi, clutching at his own throat instead of his. blood rushing over his hand and down onto hobi's face. So much that it almost splashes.

And then the frying pan hits his head with a hollow final thud.

There is a placid terror in things like this, a quiet as things go and come. The thumping, the sobbing breaths you let out, the descent of your hand, beating out your terror on the body below, a vessel for all of your fear.

The handle of the frying pan is thick and heavy in your hands. You bring it down on the man’s head, the curved edge of the cast iron connects with the plate of his skull with a hollow thud. One second, he's clutching at his blown-apart throat, and the next he goes limp, blood and brain matter splatters loud and heavy along the floor. Falling on top of Hobi like a lead weight.

Hobi's brown eyes are bloodshot and red in his mouth, heaving one big breath that sends the room spinning. Sends vertigo into his veins and panic-running adrenaline. You lift your arms up again and hit him, descending again and again.

His body is still, so still. His chest gives one open shudder and then goes truly quiet. Frozen in time. You are covered in blood, in your mouth, on your hair, on the ceiling. More and more splatters as your hand goes up and then down in an endless loop.

Dark cotton soaks, matted with blood and brain matter, blurry from your tears. A bit of it hits your face, wet and stinky. People never tell you how horrible it smells when people die.

You don’t stop hitting the man, even when it's clear he's dead. Even when you glare down at him through the tears in your eyes and see half a face staring up at you. An eyeball rolls across the floor.

There are arms around you pulling you off of him eventually. Dry warm arms, big and heavenly. One wrist dangles with a pair of handcuffs as Jin yanks you back from the man. The body.

“Pup- It’s done, pup- he's gone- Stop.”

There is blood all over you. On your face, on your hands, around the frying pan. Tae too, sitting just beside you. Half of her body splattered. Hobi's soaked with it and still struggling to breathe. But both of them, the three of them are alive.

“It’s over pup.” Jin sounds like he might be crying. Tae definitely is.

Hobi puts his head between his knees, gasping for every breath but still breathing. Tae's got him in his lap. Holding on to him as he splutters. face so soaked with blood he can't open his eyes without blinking rapidly.

It’s anything but over you think as you let go of the handle of the frying pan.

It clatters to the ground with a bloody and final thunk.

~-~

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Notes:

if the beginning of the chapter feels weird/different in terms of narration that is because it was mostly written 3+ years ago and my writing style has changed alot! kinda crazy! hopefully people will just attribute it to hoseok's internal monologue. it might be meandering but i kept reminding myself that this is hoseok at his lowest you know?

One thing i want you guys to realize is that the m/c may not be smart, but holy fuck can she take a beating and still get up.

Gun shoot outs are uniquely hard to write because like, just bang and it's done right? idk why part of this writing just felt so tedious usually i love writing stuff like this :(

hobi calls the m/c his girlfriend 🥺 did you guys notice???? he's such a cute pup charecter.

i have more notes for this chapter BUT i can't share them until the next one is out because it involves hobi's secret.

i hope you guys see like- how good the m/c actually is at the crime and thinking on her feet shit- i think that this chapter above all others shows her street smarts. she knows to keep the guy talking and distracted- i think it compliments her similarities to jimin and jin like. the trio of them are very capable people you know? vs hobi who just headlong rushes the assassin and fucks shit up. i'm not saying it's his fault- he does the best that he can in this chapter.

I'm trying to pull from my actual knowledge of how guns work but fun fact, silencers are still fucking loud, like still so loud that you need ear protection. and even blank bullets can still cause serious injury at close range.

I'm again at the stage where i can't tell if the gun shooting scene is clunky and too predictable or if it's actually as creepy as i've made it out to be.

This is one of those situations- the bargaining for each others lives, that i've actually never had to handle. it's actually pretty unusual for me to write about things that i haven't experienced in some way shape or form.

i've only written a few scenes in my life that have made me wonder like "huh- i wonder if people might actually think that i've seen a dead body, been around a dead body, or killed someone before?" and ngl, the scene with the assassin dying is one that makes me wonder that... i promise i just have a scarily vivid imagination.

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sayuri-of-the-valley · 10 months

Text

On how Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic shifted in s2:

Okay so I was inspired by this lovely post by @rebeccasteventaylor which I couldn't find the link to in order to reblog directly, but if anyone has a link to it pls I'd love to put it here:

Anyway, while I absolutely 100% agree with @rebeccasteventaylor 's meta, I have to point out that s2 shifted it a little. Especially for Aziraphale.

We don't see him looking away trying to hide his heart eyes anymore as he used to do in s1 (we all remember the "smitten" scene, only to cite ONE). Compare the little breath of lust from the Bastille (when he looks away twice) to the "don't hesitate to ask me if you have any questions about love" one.

In s2, he touches Crowley like crazy. He touches his chest, his hand, his back, asks him to dance, gives him a whole ass cotillion ball.

He was deliberately and explicitly pursuing Crowley this season. If s1 was all Crowley pursuing Aziraphale, s2 was all Aziraphale pursuing Crowley.

And Crowley seemed to either not notice or not acknowledge that Aziraphale was doing that (the way he said Aziraphale only has 3 reasons to call him still drives me crazy. Crowley ffs those were ALL the reasons there is to call someone. He's ALWAYS thinking of calling YOU).

I think Crowley was afraid. Probably for the same reason he never told Aziraphale he was homeless. Which is sad and kinda doesn't make sense at first bc this is all Crowley has ever wanted, right?

Until we remember the last time Crowley let himself love and be loved freely, he was cast away (yes, the Fall). He lost everything bc he wasn't worthy according to some crazy criteria. Apparently he doesn't even know what he DID exactly.

I wonder if Crowley thinks he's not worthy of Aziraphale. I wonder if that's why he refused to see their love for centuries until Nina threw it at his face (Nina LITERALLY doing the Lord's work). I wonder if he's afraid of loving and letting himself be loved and then losing it again. Afraid of daring to ASK and losing everything. Again.

And Crowley wasn't *happy* this season, even with their freedom. I wonder if Aziraphale was mistakenly arriving at the conclusion that he was not enough to make Crowley happy. That him alone would never make Crowley smile the way he did when creating nebulae.

These 4 years were breathing space between the two "wars", according to Crowley himself in s1. And I think Crowley doesn't deal well with their relationship in a calm environment. He only knows how to make grand gestures, and heroic rescues, and go fast and act on impulse because then he doesn't have to THINK. Once he needs to sit down and make a commitment (telling Aziraphale he's homeless for ex), he just STOPS, he can't.

Aziraphale was the opposite. The calmness without any danger was giving him all the space he needed to act on his feelings, while the sense of danger always made him enter denial mode (which ironically seemed to be Crowley's mode in s2).

Of course they still need to put a name on what they are and stop pretending, Nina was absolutely right (and Crowley did catch up on that faster in those last 15min), maybe Aziraphale was still lacking this bit even if he was pursuing Crowley, but we can't deny that until those last 15min the "us" was coming from Aziraphale.

It's sad to realise that unconsciously, without even noticing, Crowley was rejecting Aziraphale almost the whole season.

UNTIL suddenly there's a huge problem, a desperate situation and he wants to abandon everything, take Aziraphale and run away again! (his original plan wasn't even to run away, it was to go to the Ritz). And who can blame him after what happened when he Fell? The Fall was totally unexpected, nobody even knew that could HAPPEN.

Crowley doesn't think himself worthy of Aziraphale (he's UNFORGIVABLE!), and Aziraphale doesn't think he's enough to make Crowley TRULY unashamedly happy and carefree.

And they're BOTH immensely WRONG ofc, we can all see it. They're each other's WORLD.

But they just assume stuff and never ASK, never TALK (bc well, it was literally dangerous before, I get it, their communication issues don't come from nowhere). That's why they have different perspectives on how to fix their situation in the end.

And btw I have to add we can't ignore Crowley was opening himself more too, always taking off his glasses when he was at the Bookshop for example. Ironically he was just a bit slower than Aziraphale for once. All that ofc until those last 15min, when they both change back to their old behaviours (makes me want to bang my forehead onto a wall).

I do believe they'd get there if the Metatron hadn't intervened (interesting that he chose this *exact* moment), especially after that little push from Maggie and Nina (for Crowley) and ofc brielzebub (for Aziraphale) that was gonna make them BOTH confess their feelings.

Anyway, bottom line, fuck the Metatron.

This is also a thread on Twitter :D

#good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #good omens meta #my meta #renew good omens #shift in dynamics #aziraphale pursuing crowley #crowley's denial

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savannahsdeath · 7 months

Note

Is there a chance you can toxic Ellie x reader. Where Reader was leaving Ellie for good and she never came back.

just a drabble since im still really busy but i had to write it because we all deserve something better than toxic!ellie!! i know i know we love ellie just, please, not the toxic one🩷

: ̗̀➛ the scene was going on for hours. you kept packing your things, she kept taking them and placing back on the shelves. your shirt had wet stains in places where your tears dropped and soaked into it.

"you're so dramatic." she smirked, taking a step forwards.

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand. "no, i am not. i won't let you ruin me. not anymore."

"who told you i ruin you?" her amused smile faded as she put her arms on her hips. "can't you see that this person, whoever it was, is manipulating you? they know you're nothing without me so they're trying to separate us. they're praying on your downfall and you? you're just helping them."

"why would my own best friend do something like that? no, ellie, you're just— insane, crazy, a fucking psycho, whatever!" you zipped up your backpack and picked it up.

: ̗̀➛ she watched as you carefully walked over the stairs. "you haven't even packed like... half of your things."

"oh well!" you sarcastically laughed. "you'll have a souvenir."

"so you don't plan on coming back for them?" she frowned, finally realising that, this time, you're serious.

: ̗̀➛ you didn't answer, putting your jacket on. she walked over to you and tried to kiss you, but you dodged her with a hiss.

"come on, babe" she sighed. "y'know how i can make it up to you..."

"just leave me alone" you begged and took a few steps backwards, until your back hit the door.

"don't make a scene" she bit her lip as she watched you make your way through the doorstep. "come back inside and we'll figure something out."

: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and finally turned around.

"okay" she nodded. "have a day off. but i'll find you. you know i will."

: ̗̀➛ you chuckled through your tears. "good luck"

⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

: ̗̀➛ two days later you were in a train to a different state. this decision was spontaneous and you could as well end up being homeless but you were sure you'll survive, somehow. your friend - luccy called you, waking you up from a nap.

"she paid me a visit, to put it politely."

"god" you fully sat up and straightened up, immediately waking up. "how bad was it?"

"i expected worse" luccy chuckled. "it was kinda hilarious, actually. i didn't want to let her in but she, of course, made her way inside anyway. she quickly realised it's too late."

"but she didn't..." you paused, thinking of all the possibilities. your girlfriend, now ex, was capable of a lot of crazy things. "...uh— hurt you or anything?"

"oh, she was mad" luccy laughed again. "but no, she didn't do anything. i'd say we're safe, for now."

: ̗̀➛ you hummed. your plan wasn't too brilliant, but you did everything you could to not leave any clues. she won't find you, you knew she won't. and eventually, she'll completely give up and stop trying. maybe she'll even move on and find someone else? maybe even a healthy relationship?

let's hope so.

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moonlit-positivity · 4 months

Text

Lesser known effects of trauma that don't ever get acknowledged

Cw: mentions of csa, sa, despair, depression, & generally dark content that some may find hard to read. Please interact & read with care.

"bed rotting" (which I hear is gaining attention on TikTok these days) ie the process of becoming bedridden due to your body being stuck in freeze response (paralyzed w fear, too scared to move)

Needing to cut your hair bc it keeps getting matted down, because you can't shower or wash it or keep up with it anymore

Gaining weight (i gained over 200lbs in a year), losing all the clothes you once fit in, and feeling guilty when all you see everywhere all the time is fat shaming

Losing weight (and subsequently all your clothes start falling off 😭) eating disorders and struggling with body image

Existing off of God knows what at this point. Is that milk spoiled? Yeah but how many days is it spoiled? Mmm, nah, nevermind, I'll just eat air.

Losing track of time. Losing months to years of time because of extreme dissociation, fatigue, stress, and the inability to move

Brain & body "shut down" or go into sleep mode for long periods of time

Self hygiene becomes non existent. Showering? Brushing teeth? Changing clothes? Don't know her.

House cleaning becomes non existent. "If It's Not In The Vacinity, It's Not Getting Done."

Lying to everyone about what's going on because it's easier than telling the truth

Not being comfortable with having your pictures taken, go through a phase where you destroy any evidence you ever existed anywhere at all

Isolating & ghosting all ur friends periodically to make sure they're not gonna leave you (lol makes perfect sense, if you know you know)

Animal upkeep goes to shit. Litter box goes neglected for long periods of time.

Noise & light sensitivity goes haywire. Noise & light triggers get amplified especially once you start to feel any sense of "safety" and start decompressing. An alarm goes off, the stove beeps, the cat meows, anything that makes even the slightest noise in the foreground and you have a whole ass panic attack and find yourself in bed for the rest of the day

Agoraphobia. You never go outside ever again. Too much paranoia, too many eyes staring at you, too many reasons to panic and stay in bed

Life becomes so non existent that the only thing that matters is whatever you're currently doing to cope & survive. If you're addicted to something, well, it's a fucking miracle you even wake up anymore

Couch surfing and inevitable homelessness when people get tired of housing you. Having to confront the way society frames government assistance as "the lazy man's income" & hope disability goes through. Which it won't. Wait-lists out the ass, section 8 takes 5 years or more to kick in. Disability doesn't even go through bc they always deny the first time you apply. The process is littered with appeals and court dates and what the fuck, I can't even get out of bed. What the fuck. What the fuck.

Leaning into your despair because, despite what everyone on social media will shout at you about resilience and "not allowing yourself to fall into despair," they will never understand that concept that despair is there for a reason too. Youre looking at someone who was raped at 5 years old and youre telling them to "stay positive." Yeah okay.

The anger, the bitterness, the resentment at the world & everyone in it. The cold blooded urge for revenge & justice. Especially when there's nothing you can do about the fact that your abusers are still free to live and roam this world as they please.

Not being able to "talk about it." Not being able to "trust a safe space." That's bullshit. I was beat and abused my whole life, what the fuck you mean "safe space?" The absolute mind fuckery that you have to sit with and undo and learn the fact that they fucking lied to you. It is enough to kill you.

Everything you learn in therapy just pisses you off even more because why the fuck wasn't there someone there as a kid to teach you this shit???? Why the fuck do I have to learn this as an adult???? Where was this when I actually fucking needed it????

Nothing helps. Nothing soothes, because there is no soothing. There is only pain. It's like ripping your skin off.

Losing everything. Losing all your friends. Losing all your "cool status" points. Losing your reputation. Losing all the things that once brought you great joy and passion. There is nothing anymore. Pain and isolation and desolation and despair.

Learning that no one can relate. Except that's not entirely true at all. People can relate. It's just such a stigmatized topic that no one talks about it out loud, because no one else in society really gets it.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #abuse #effects of abuse #childhood trauma #abusive parenting #abusive relationships #addictions #alcoholism #acoa #codependency #substance use

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still-a-morosexual-help · 2 years

Note

okay so lately I have seen a lot of people claim they hate mammon bc he steals from mc, and like there's nothing wrong with disliking a character lol but I don't recall mammon ever stealing from mc?? like the only thing I can think of is that one time in season 1 I think where he was going through their stuff and said he was looking for something to sell (I think?? it's been a while) and beel straight up calling him a liar lmao l'm just wondered if I missed something? or if this is just newer players who maybe misunderstood that one scene? and I figured if anyone would know it would be you lmao

I got so fucking pissed about this (not at you anon <3) cos this is the third time I got an ask like this, that I scrolled all the way down my 'Obey Me Mammon' tag to June/July 2020 and then slowly scrolled my way up pulling all the receipts I could.....I saw this immediately after you sent it and I just finished now...... turns out it takes 5 straight hours to go through my Mammon tag😶

I have answered this exact same ask twice before and I can only assume it's new people? Like honestly you can't play the game for a long time and still think this (they prove this false within the game in LESSON FOUR)

Not only does Mammon NOT steal from MC, he also:

a.) Gets legitimate/legal jobs whenever he wants to buy MC something (which is pretty frequently)

b.) Shares the money with them when he comes into a large sum of money

But anyway here are the links to the posts talking about all this:

(everything is directly taken from canon or based off canon)

A.) No he doesn't steal from MC

• Full Summary of the Lesson 4 locked chapter where he goes through MC's stuff and a compare and contrast of what we know about Mammon from future lessons, events, devilgrams

• First post talking about this, goes more into detail about him not stealing from them

• Second shorter post about how he doesn't steal from them

• They're literally Partners in Crime

• He straight up refuses the Midas touch (multiple times I believe) after realising it means he won't be able to touch MC anymore

• HEADCANON that maybe he steals/borrows their clothes, with their knowledge, to wear

• In the small introductory manga page they say the thing he likes as much as money is MC

• In S3 he admits to loving MC more than he loves money

B.) He goes out of his way to get MC Presents (which we works actual jobs to earn money for)

• Mammon at the Office Devilgram, where he gets an actual office job so he can buy MC a watch he saw them looking at

• In the Movie Date Devilgram he rents out an entire theatre for the two of them because it was the anniversary of the day they first met

• In the You Always Ride Shotgun Devilgram he rents out a pool for the two of them

• He's always giving MC presents

• Usually he buys matching things for them

• He buys them shoes in their favourite colour

• Mammon's love language

• He wants to share his winnings from a lottery with MC

• He finds a secret second map in the pirate au event and tells only MC so they can share the treasure

C.) It's not just MC, he puts the others before Money too

• In the Presents From Mammon Devilgram he buys presents for everyone

• In The Guardian Demon Devilgram he saves a 9yr old orphaned homeless human girl from a mugger, fosters her and plans to pay for all her needs until she's an adult/can provide for herself - which is why he's always in debt to the three witches who look after her for him, there's also extortion going on from them towards him

• He'd rather lose the entire fortune he won than make Luke upset

• List of times he's put others before money

• He straight up tells Luke he doesn't mind missing out on a reward as long as it means Luke is alright

• Socks for Beel

• He gets a stone for his birthday which can give him whatever he wishes for, he wishes for fortune to come to whoever has the stone and then gives the stone to a student who tried to hurt him

D.) How Mammon works as a character

• Solmare makes you form certain expectations about him and then starts breaking them within the next few lessons and it's amazing to witness

• Friendship, Actions & Reality Vs Calling MC 'Servant'

• Mammon, MC and their Friendship

• Mammon being smart and why he comes off as an idiot

• His thoughts about himself vs MC

• He's actively changing and growing as a character and he knows it

• How Mammon actually views himself

• Why there's a difference in his level of affection in public vs privately

• Jerk with a heart of gold trope but better

• Mammon and how much he cares about consent

• How outsiders see Mammon vs how people from the city see Mammon vs how his close friends and family see him

• Chasing some creep away from MC

• How his relationship with MC changes and grows throughout the season

E.) Other reasons to love him

• Examples of how much he loves MC

• How supportive he & MC are of each other

• Some of his funniest moments

• He's objectively terrifying

• Mammon being a good brother

• He's extremely ride or die for MC

• He waits for MC when they've got to stay late at RAD for other work

• Despite being an ancient being all his best memories consist of the time he's spent with MC

• He created a whole line of toys based around missing MC

• Everything he says about loving MC in his 2022 birthday event

• List of things he's good at

• The amount he loves MC

And this is just a few of my posts about mammon, his character and what there's to love about him

And look it's MORE than okay for people to dislike a character but at least dislike them for something that actually happened?

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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AITA for laughing at my conservative uncle?

This is an incident that made half of my family go no/low contact with each other, and some still think I was an asshole for it (I think I wasn't), but I wanna get tumblr's perspective. I was 24(F) when this happened, my uncle was 58.

Thanksgiving 2021 my family wanted a big weekend long get together after not being able to do Thanksgiving in 2020 due to lockdowns. Family members took time off work and drove in from out of state so we could all hang out from Thursday to Sunday.

We all have that one uncle who spends every family event saying the most out there racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/whatever shit, and mine I feel is worse than most. He has some truly shitty takes like "It should be legal to hunt the homeless for sport", and "If a woman doesn't wanna get raped she should get married at like 16 and never go anywhere without her husband," and "If I ever saw a man pretending to be a woman I would kill him with my bare hands, and most of this nation would agree with me". Truly a piece of shit. Meanwhile my family knows I am extremely progressive, so they do their best to keep me and my uncle separate during family events or else it could (and has in the past) lead to shouting matches.

But here's the thing: I would happily avoid him and not talk to him during get togethers, but he loves arguing. He seeks me out. He'll follow me to the bathroom and bring up transphobic things happening in the news. He'll get up from the dinner table to walk over to me and shove an news article about Trump in my face. If he sees me enter the room he'll start talking LOUDLY about his political opinions. He WANTS to argue with me, and the family considers it my duty to ignore him and calls me an asshole when I engage, because that's just giving him what he wants. But he somehow never gets called out for hounding me, because "that's just how he is".

So it's Thanksgiving 2021. And maybe it's because of the therapy, or maybe it's just because I'm getting tired of avoiding him, or maybe it's the lockdowns that eroded my social graces, but I see him spot me from across the room and get that "ohhh I'm gonna make her sooooo mad" little glint in his eye and start to make his way over, and I don't find it infuriating anymore. I find it deeply funny that this divorced, no job, no bitches, deadbeat dad, that everyone secretly hates, has decided the only way he can get a drop of serotonin in his sad miserable life that HE ruined all by himself, is to turn to reactionary politics in a desperate attempt to get a rise out of his niece.

He starts in on the regular vile transphobic shit (I don't need to repeat it we've heard it all before, imagine the worst anti-trans rhetoric you've ever heard and yup. That's what he was saying) and I don't try to counter his points like I usually do. I just laugh. He keeps going, looking more and more puzzled, and I keep laughing.

He thinks I didn't hear him right. No no, I heard it all, and it was funny. He decides I must be too triggered to speak. No I promise, I'm having the time of my life. He guesses I'm not as smart as I think I am then, if I can't come up with a good counterpoint. Oh I'm plenty smart, and you're plenty hilarious.

Long story short he gets madder and madder that I won't engage until he's red faced and yelling. Family members are trying to calm him down and telling me to stop. I don't. I'm not mad that they're again blaming me for the interaction when I was just standing there and HE came up to ME, it's just really funny at that point. Really funny that the entire family walks on eggshells to protect his precious feelings when they could just laugh in his face like I am. My uncle punches a hole in my grandmother's wall and storms off cussing. The mood of the entire Thanksgiving weekend is ruined, and even my most left leaning family members think I'm an asshole because I KNOW how he is and I should have just walked away.

Should I have just walked away to save everyone's Thanksgiving weekend?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ordinaryschmuck · 4 months

Text

I have plans for a web comic. Your standard, superhero comic, written and illustrated by me and likely ONLY by me. A comic that has this premise:

"When some of the world's mightiest heroes are discovered to be dead, with more villains growing and super killers out in the world, it's up for humanity's last hope to band together as a single team for justice. Unfortunately, humanity's last hope includes a narcissist, a coward, an idiot keeps losing fights, a homeless person who wants a normal life, a super genius that's thirteen-year-old, a shape-shifting pacifist, and a recovering drunk leading them all. Will they be able to save the world? Well...They'll certainly try."

It'll have lots of stuff that makes superheroes fun. Action, comedy, heroes being human, struggling to do good for both the world and for the people in their lives, tragic backstories that show why the heroes make sure no one has as bad of a day as they did, SELECTIVE intense violence, heroes advocating for redemption over final acts of violence, and some gay characters...Alright, that last one's more or less implied in most superhero content, but why not include here, right?

I love this idea, these characters, and all the plans I have for them. The problem? On the internet, it's a shot in the dark if whether or not what you make is popular. And I don't know if my heart can take it if the first few pages of my comic go up, and only ten people see it with two of them liking it. I can't take it anymore. I've tried three times to make a webcomic, really trying to make something good and pouring everything I have into each one, only for my work to go unnoticed and unappreciated.

"Maybe they're not good."

Yeah. Maybe. Maybe my writing's not good enough to stand out. Maybe my art-style isn't appealing enough to some people. Maybe my jokes aren't funny enough. Maybe my ideas aren't interesting enough. Maybe my story's aren't profound enough. Maybe...I'M not good enough.

...But at least maybe it'll be worth another shot. Who knows, this will finally be the one to worth trying and get a lot of attention. At least, worth trying for a year and see how big the numbers are. But here's the thing: I want to make sure first. I want to know, going in, that I'll have enough people supporting me.

So, here's what I want: 1,000 notes. I don't want money, I don't want donations, I want 1,000 notes on THIS POST to tell me that my creative mind is worth creating again. If I get 1,000 notes, at any point throughout...let's say the rest of the year, then I'll do it.

I'll make another webcomic. And hopefully don't waste my life doing it.

#web comics #original webcomic #webcomic #superheroes #original superhero

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teaveetamer · 2 months

Note

show me where someone said they wanted to put a bullet in you specifically. Never happened. By the way I care more about helping the innocent and wrongly imprisoned than anything on here or discord. I donate to the innocence project every month. I'm also sending money to a falsely accused guy in a very high profile homicide case, though I will not specify who. I raise awareness of official misconduct and how touch DNA has been used to wrongly convict people. That's my calling in life. What are you doing to help people in a worse situation than you. Probably nothing

I wasn't going to publish these but honestly, I have to point this out. Either this is Raxis, Vagrantsea, one of the people in the death threat screenshots, or some other party that has been directly involved in the harassment... or this is a COMPLETE rando with NO stakes in this conflict trying to convince me that if THEY are a good person, that somehow makes the people who harassed me justified to harass me. If it's the latter, that just elevates this ENTIRE ask to the level of absurdist comedy and I can't not share that. Like, imagine if you saw someone get mugged, it's on video, and as they're being arrested a complete rando who doesn't know anyone involved jumps in to be like "no they couldn't have mugged anyone, because I donate to charity!" But for the sake of argument, we're going to assume this comes from someone actually directly involved.

So first, congratulations! I hope you do actually do all of those things. But also, what a weaselly, pathetic little argument to make in response to me, again, talking about how I've gotten death threats and harassment. "You weren't harassed even though there's screenshots of it, and even if you were I'm actually a GOOD PERSON, SEE!"??? What exactly do you expect my response to be here? "Oh well I've been getting stalked and harassed but anon donated to the innocence project, so I guess I can't be upset anymore"? Would you also think it's okay for someone to beat their spouse at home as long as they donated to a homeless shelter sometimes, or can we acknowledge that doing a good thing doesn't cancel out the shitty things you do?

And sure, since you asked, I do in fact do things IRL to help people in a worse situation than me. It's, like, my actual job. I also don't bring that up at every opportunity, unlike you apparently, because I'm not a cowardly little rat who needs to hide behind the suffering of marginalized and abused communities to justify stalking people and sending them death treats over a PNG girlie. I'm sorry if what you've done to me has made you feel like a bad person, but that's entirely your own damn fault for doing it. If you want to prove you're a good person, then maybe it's time you stop trying to justify and excuse your shitty behavior and start taking responsibility for it.

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iicheeze · 1 year

Text

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES

3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES MASTERLIST

SUMMARY || you've always had feelings for your gray haired senior. To the point that you'd confess to the man in front of the whole Akademiya. Pitying you, he gives you 3 months, 3 days and 33 minutes to make him fall for you. Let the roller coaster of chaos begin!

PAIRINGS || Alhaitham x Gender Neutral Reader, slight Kaveh x reader

TW || cringe, use of slangs, the opposite of funny i guess idk just read it to see 😭

TAGLIST || @star-star-fall-inlove @nachotrash @baelloraa @itonashi @tanspostsblog @kalpie

(bold means I can't tag you)

CHAPTER I — ugly person thinks they're hot and confesses to crush in front of the whole Akademiya

“ I HAVE DECIDED! TODAY'S THE DAY! ”

Your yells echoed through the dorm hall, surprising everyone currently in it. Yet everyone understands what your words meant.

“ TODAY??? ” “ OH MY GOSH, THEY'RE GONNA DO IT. ” “ HOLY SHIT PREPARE YOUR POPCORNS ”

You've always had a FAT, MASSIVE, UNREQUITED love for a certain gray haired man in your college.

Sure, his personality may not be the best, but good lord, is his tits i mean body gorgeous.

But the thing is,

You two haven't even met yet.

You only saw him when you were running for your life to get into a lecture you're clearly late to.

And boy, did you fall.

Both literally and figuratively.

You may look and be labelled as the delusional weirdo in the college for wanting to confess to the man, BUT!

You still believe you have a chance.

Even if it's below 1%, you'll take the chance.

How will you confess to him?

Easy.

“ I LOVE YOU, ALHAITHAM! WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME? ”

You yelled, getting your feeling off your chest as you kneel with one knee, hand inviting the male in front of you.

However, the man in front of you is currently horrified. Not to mention, disgusted.

First of all, WHO ARE YOU??

Second of all, WHY IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING AKADEMIYA.

Third of all, why do you look like your proposing when you two aren't even acquaintances of any sort.

“ OH MY GOD. SOMEONE'S ACTUALLY BRAVE ENOUGH TO CONFESS TO HIM?? ” “ Bro, they're gonna be executed fr fr.... in public too... ” “ oh shit man, they're gonna get barbequed 😭 ” “ honestly, i'd be down bad for him too ” “ BABE??? ”

“ YES, GO CONFESS YOUR HEART OUT SLAY ” Your friend, Yoimiya cheered at the back of the crowd.

Currently, you and Alhaitham are in the middle of a circle-shaped crowd, all facing your way.

Finally taking time to actually breathe, Alhaitham sighed.

This person definitely belongs in a mental asylum.

“ I- I don't even know your name. ” The [taller/shorter] man exclaimed, “ It's [Name]! [Name] [Last Name]!! I fell in love with you ever since I saw you!! ” You stated loudly, as multiple laughs and chuckles were heard from the crowd.

The man scoffed.

“ Look, [Last Name]. I don't even know you, your major, what you do, what you don't do. How am I even supposed to go on a date with you when both you and I clearly have no knowledge about each other? ”

“ WE COULD GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER!! ” You stated, with a brave tone. In reality, you were breaking down on the inside. Good god, is he actually giving you a chance?? Out of all 1682628272 universe??

You were so pathetic it actually made him pity you. Your attempt was pathetic, your way of confessing was pathetic, good lord, even the way you dress is pathetic. You look even more homeless than a homeless person!

Alhaitham has encountered many types of people. Greedy ones, selfish ones, spoiled ones, ugly ones, pretty ones, kind ones.

Yet he has NEVER, EVER.

Seen a being so pathetic like you.

But he can't help but find this situation a little amusing.

“ Hmph, fine then. How about we make a deal? ” The man asked, tempting the person currently still kneeling on one knee.

“ I will give you the amount of exactly 3 MONTHS, 3 DAYS, AND 33 MINUTES to get you to make me fall for you. If you don't manage to do that, we will never see each other anymore for the rest of this timeline. ”

Was this just an intimidation tactic or is he actually asking for a deal?

“ And what if I manage to make you fall for me before the time limit is up? ” Sparkles seemed to appear around you, hope once again seemed to win the bloody fight of despair.

“ .. We'll see about that. Just to let you know, I'm not an easy man. ” His face grew closer to yours, your nose almost touching his. “ Well, I'm not one to easily give up as well. ” You replied, a smirk plastered on your face.

“ Yeah, we'll see. ” The control of his voice was so immaculate, you can't help but feel shivers down your bones. And upon saying that, he left. Seeming to disappear in the crowd.

Good lord, that was so hot.

You were originally going to stand up from your bone breaking position you've been holding for so long. But....

You realize you can't move.

“ WAIT, I CAN'T MOVE. MY CRAMPS. HAITHAM, HELP ”

author's note: sorry if this chapter is short 😭 the next following chapters will be way longer than this one as this is supposed to be like a prologue or introduction if yk wat i mean HSJHSJS

If there are any questions you can ask them at the comments!! and if there are any mistakes, please tell me!!

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sui-imi · 11 months

Text

100 Facts About UnderEats!Sans (aka Roo)

I posted these on twitter, but decided I should also post them here for everyone o/

Facts below the cut!

WARNING: it's. really long.

1. UnderEats!Sans is nicknamed 'Roo'. This is a shortened version of 'Deliveroo'. I chose it because the AU's name was already based on 'Uber Eats' and wanted to keep the theme relevance.

2. Roo originates from a Horrortale timeline variant. It was destroyed before he left to meet with Undyne, meaning his skull was never shattered, nor his eye taken. (Horrortale belongs to sour-apple-studios)

3. He's 4'4" / 132cm tall. He's not insecure about his height, but he doesn't like how tall everyone else is…

4. Since his timeline's gone, Roo's homeless. He'll either stay at Arbiter's store, nap in a random AU, or pay for an inn somewhere.

5. He works as a multiversal food delivery driver. His job is to collect food from various restaurants across the Multiverse, then use his AU-hopping moped to instantly transport the food to the customer's AU/address. (... its just uber eats but in undertale)

6. He's not supposed to, but if you bribe him with cash or food (anything with BBQ in it), he'll give you a free ride to another AU. He can be bribed to do other things, also. but only for cold, hard, cash. (and nothing inappropriate)

7. In his timeline, he spent a lot of time raising morale, handling rations and thinking of solutions for their food crisis. Due to this, Roo's not very lazy anymore. But he still loves to take naps.

8. He's extremely nervous around other Alphys', after seeing her stare at him so intensely, and hearing her plan from the echo flowers. He's okay around Swapped Alphys'. Usually.

9. He's pretty frugal, only buying food or paying for an inn room every so often.

10. He has a lot of food and snacks stored in his inventory, but not to eat. He instead hands it out to other people who might need it.

11. He can't handle high-stress/danger situations. If he can't find a solution to the problem quickly enough, he kind of. Shuts down. It results in him making very stupid decisions. Like throwing a moped at someone.

12. Due to his repeated destruction of company property, most of his pay goes towards paying off the broken bikes. It's... going to take a while to pay it off. (He's still going to keep throwing the mopeds).

13. Roo can also ride bicycles, motorbikes, and some types of cars. But he likes mopeds because they're small and easy to nap on.

14. Doesn't really use his phone outside of work purposes, so he's a bit of a social media boomer. The grimace shake trend is a horrific mystery to him. He doesn't even know what 'simp' means.

15. His magic eye LOOKS green, but it's not. It's the same blue/yellow that Classic Sans has, but it's moving so fast that it blends together to green.

16. He has the same stats as Classic Sans.

17. He still likes ketchup. He just thinks BBQ sauce is the superior condiment.

18. He's always wearing a hat, or something that covers his head. It's because he's trying to break a bad habit of scratching at his skull. Instead, he fiddles with the hat.

19. He's actually a pretty good cook! On his days off, he likes to practice.

20. His favourite place to eat is Grillby's 2 (a multiversal version of the OG). He's good friends with the Grillbys that run the place and the food is always good.

21. He has a soft spot for Grillbys and other Horrors. He's nice to them and always asking if they're good. (He's still shaken from his Grillby... 'melting'...)

22. He's one of those people that constantly complains about doing something, but still does it anyway.

23. He has an excellent memory when it comes to remembering addresses/co-ordinates to other AUs. Ask him about a specific place and chances are, he'll know where you're talking about.

24. He likes his job because it's simple. He likes simple. It means less stress. Despite being a simple job, certain customers love increasing his stress levels. T_T

25. His hands are a bit scratched up from stress-scratching. That's part of the reason why he likes to wear gloves all the time. The other part is: he just likes wearing them.

26. He doesn't like wasting food/drinks. If you make something (edible) for him, even if he doesn't want it, he'll try to eat it, just so it doesn't go to waste.

27. He's not picky with what he eats. If it's edible, he'll eat it. If it's not edible, he'll... pretend to eat it.

28. He used to be friends with a part-time worker, who was an Undyne. After certain events occured, he no longer makes friends with the other workers!

29. Roo dislikes Exec's 'don't interfere with timelines' rule. He thinks that if you can help, you should. But he also doesn't want to lose the job, so his help ends up being rather limited…

30. He hates delivering to the Doodlesphere. He has a policy in place with the Star Sanses: if he delivers and they're in the middle of a fight, they have to tip him double... he makes a lot of money delivering to the Doodlesphere.

31. Roo likes going to a random AU and taking a nap in it. Sometimes, if he's bored, he'll explore the AU a little bit. He's not supposed to be seen in AUs that aren't involved/aware of the multiverse, so he either skips them or sneaks around.

32. If he comes across a starving timeline, he'll leave behind some food. Nothing big, just enough to survive a little longer. He doesn't want Exec to become aware of his 'timeline-intefering'. (Exec already knows. But they allow it, since it doesn't really affect much.)

33. If he ever lost his job, he'd go work with Arbiter in the Condiment Hall (a convenience store that specialises in well, condiments), or go to the Omega Timeline.

34. His eye sockets are naturally 'droopy'.

35. His bones can rattle. It only happens when he's scared. It's embarrassing.

36. He drinks, but only 'socially' (AKA, if you hand him a drink, he'll drink it). He's not a lightweight. But the process of getting drunk makes him feel queasy. When he's actually drunk, he starts acting stupid.

37. He gets easily flustered/embarrassed if you give him any positive attention. When that happens, he tugs on his hat to hide his face.

38. He doesn’t like fighting. If he ends up in an encounter, he either tries to escape it, or he gets too stressed (aka goes stupid mode).

39. If someone is in trouble (and he’s ACTUALLY able to help), he’ll do his best to remove them from the situation. Don’t ask him to fight for you. He won’t.

40. He favours using blue magic in fights to keep opponents away from him/rooted in place. If that fails, he'll TP to a safe distance.

41. If his life is truly in danger, his survival instincts kick in, and he’ll fight like it’s a genocide route.

41b. His thoughts are switched ‘off’ during this. He fights automatically.

42. He has a metal pipe for joke purposes. Sometimes he’ll drop it because the sound is hilarious to him. He also uses it as an impromptu weapon.

43. The best description for Roo is that he’s Aro Ace. He has no desire for anything beyond friendship.

44. He’s lost track of his age, but he’s in his late 20s/early 30s. His birthday is the 8th of September (International Food Delivery Day)!

45. He’s fine interacting with other Papyruses, but if they show any familiarity with him, it weirds him out. (i.e: calling him 'Brother')

46. Roo misses his Papyrus, but… a part of him is glad that he’s not suffering anymore. But that kind of thinking also makes him mad... It’s a difficult subject. He doesn't like to think about it.

47. Either he’s grumpy, loud and rude (usually with difficult people). Or chill and more like a Classic (most of the time).

47b. He’s also a very expressive skeleton. His facebones are quite flexible. (does that even make sense?)

48. Everytime he gets an order from the Bad Sanses, his day gets ten times worse. He has to start mentally planning an escape route to minimise trouble.

49. Roo feels a strange kind of survivor’s guilt when he sees other Horrors. He’s aware of how lucky he is compared to his counterparts.

50. Sometimes, he has nightmares of a Horror clawing out his eye, wanting to ‘make them match’.

51. He loves getting tips and bribes. His prices are always fair - he doesn’t like extorting people. But er, if you insist enough times, he’ll just… take it and pay it forward. (cough)

52. Roo loves antagonising Swap Papyrus. Swap Paps antagonises him back. Roo also loves getting Swap Sans to lecture Paps for antagonising him.

53. He still has the ability to Judge, and quietly checks anyone he comes across. Just as a safety precaution.

54. His mouth can open, but it usually stays shut. It only opens when he's yawning or eating something big. He can eat some things/drink without opening his mouth. How? Who knows.

55. He doesn’t enjoy science anymore, and tends to avoid it. But sometimes he sees something interesting and becomes curious.

56. There’s an Outertale Burgerpants called Burpi that he loves to antagonise. It seems he knows something embarrassing the cat monster did and holds it over his head.

57. He wears size 6 (US size) mens shoes.

58. His favourite colour is blue. But he thinks green is okay too.

59. Roo doesn’t know how to react to gifts. Half the time he thinks it’s something you want him to deliver. If you clarify, he says thanks and puts it somewhere safe. (Then he gets flustered)

60. He doesn’t really cry, except for ‘comedic situations’.

61. He used to have a habit of writing a bunch of notes on any surface he could find (especially walls). He got in a lot of trouble for it. Now he carries a small notebook around to take notes.

62. He’s not very materialistic. His moped is probably the only 'material' thing he cares about.

63. He keeps having to buy new socks because everytime he stays at an inn/at Arbiter’s place, he leaves one lying around.

64. He’s accidentally made a trash tornado in his bag, except with people’s orders.. It was very messy..

65. He’s currently learning how to bake. His favourite so far are fig rolls.

66. If there’s ever drama or a (not serious) fight going down in front of him, he’s the guy dealing out popcorn to the bystanders.

67. Whenever he’s bored, he watches some random shows. He tried to watch UnderNovela but he missed a lot of episodes, so he’s just confused.

68. Roo knows English, Common (AKA monster english), and Monster Sign Language (the monster’s version of sign)

69. In Roo’s timeline, Gaster was his brother. He can’t remember his parents.

70. He got turned into a bitty once. He refuses to talk about it, saying ‘the experience changed me…. Into a bitty, that is.’

71. One of the strangest AUs he’s visited is one where monsters were on the surface, except they were beast-like and HUGE. Not bara huge. 200ft tall huge. He finds it fascinating. Sometimes he'll go there, sit in a tree, and just watch them roam.

72. Every time he visits a random AU, he has a 50/50 chance of being dropped into the middle of something chaotic.

73. He customises his mopeds to say ‘sans’ with a bone sticker at the front. It’s so he can remember which one is his. (Lie. He just thinks it's cool)

74. He has a red friendship bracelet around his neck, given to him by Fresh!Reaper. It’s hidden by his coat most of the time. (Fresh!Reaper - @\SoftyMuii on Twitter)

75. He's sort of friends with this one Horror. They like to grab lunch together sometimes.

76. He likes to listen to other people’s puns more than making his own. Either way they make him chuckle every time, even in serious situations. (Though he tries not to laugh out of loud).

77. His favourite kind of jacket are windbreakers, which is what he wears most of the time.

78. He doesn’t care much for fashion, he just wears whatever’s comfortable (which is a shirt and shorts).

79. His favourite thing about the surface are the stars. Second is the sea. He loves the colour of the water and how calm it is.

80. When he texts, his replies are lazy and full of typos.

81. He has no idea that the lady behind the door was Toriel, queen of the monsters. In his timeline, Frisk killed her.

82. Despite napping all the time, he has trouble actually trying to sleep. He can manage 2 hours before waking up.

83. He’s a pretty light sleeper. He doesn’t fully fall asleep, still keeping some sort of awareness of his surroundings. If someone gets too close to him/makes too much noise, he’ll open his eyes.

84. Roo will generally try to follow the rules, but if they clash with his ideals, he’ll either break them, or try his best to bend the rules to his favour.

85. He’s good at keeping secrets. But that’s only because he forgets most of them after a while.

86. His bone colour is affected by how much sun he receives. They’re off-white since he’s covered up most of the time.

87. Sometimes he’ll sunbathe a little to brighten his bones. He claims it makes him feel more energetic.

88. He thinks MTT food is the worst of the worst. He won’t even pretend to eat it if someone hands him any. It’s going straight in the trash.

89. He likes white noise. Pure silence makes him agitated.

91. He's kind of apathetic. His emotions feel muted. But his reactions are still over the top.

90. Roo likes eye contact and being able to see people’s faces & facial expressions when talking to them. Having your back turned to him during a conversation bothers him.

90b. Despite this, he gets unnerved by intense staring (it reminds him of Alphys)

92. His stamina is okay, but he still gets tired out often, which is why he takes so many naps.

93. Roo doesn’t really get angry. At most he’ll get irritated or annoyed, but he doesn’t know what true anger feels like.

94. He hates troublesome customers. A part of him hopes they get food poisoning and never order again… but he won’t say that out loud.

95. He enjoys delivering to ‘peaceful’ AUs, usually ones that have already reached the surface. The customers there are usually very nice.

96. He’s a tidy person, but that’s only because he doesn’t own a lot of things to create a mess in the first place.

97. Don’t bully workers! If you’re mean to the workers at the stores, Roo will get annoyed and lecture you.

98. He feels a sense of kinship with other workers, especially multiversal workers like him. (Like Post!Sans)

99. Sometimes he works at Grillby’s 2 if they need extra help. He’s terrible at making drinks/entertaining the customers, so he just makes food in the back.

100. If it’s very hot or very cold, he can feel it. Otherwise he can’t really feel changes in temperature.

#undertale #undertale au #undereats!sans #roo #undereats #Sorry. it's a lot of text/info #but hey! here's basically everything you need to know about roo #roo lore

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bean-bean2000 · 5 months

Text

The Hacker - Part 8

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Status: Ongoing

All feedback is very welcome and appreciated!

Warnings: mentions of death, fighting, guns, mentions of torture.

Please let me know if i missed any warnings and I will add them.

Part 7

Series masterlist

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It's been 7 days since Y/N was taken. The team has been working endlessly to find you.

"I found her!" Tony yells as he runs to the conference room.

"She's in an abandoned factory in Queens." Tony says.

The team immediately gets suited up and ready to leave. Within minutes they're on the quinjet heading to Y/N's location.

Bucky and Steve are shaking with anger and worry.

As they land, they're immediately met with resistance from Hydra's security.

Natasha, Sam and Tony take care of them as Steve and Bucky rush inside to go find you.

Tony said you were in the lowest level of the factory. The super soldiers are kicking every door down and knocking out everyone that comes in their way.

They reach the last door.

Steve opens it, shield in hand protecting them from a secret attack.

They see you, tied in a chair. You're covered in blood and bruises. Your face is swollen, you have cuts that are infected.

The one that shocks them the most is the deep cut across your face.

They immediately realize that you've been tortured.

They signal to the team over the intercom that you will need medical assistance immediately.

As they're untying you, they see a figure emerge from the darkness.

You start to stir, whispering "No, please. Please stop. Don't hurt me again Steve." blood dribbles from your mouth to the floor.

Steve stops in his tracks, confused.

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asks you

"Stop, Bucky. I can't take it, please don't hurt me again." you say breathlessly. You're so tired and in pain, you can't feel anything anymore.

Bucky furrows his brows and holds your hands and Steve finishes untying you from your bindings.

"Doll, we never-" Bucky starts before he's interrupted by a gruff voice emerging from the corner.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't America's favourite super heroes"

"Brock." Steve and Bucky say as they grit their teeth in anger.

"I'm sure you figured it out by now, that I'm the one who took her in when she was homeless. I turned her into the cyberweapon that she is today. She's MY weapon."

"One day, she decided to deceive me. She made me fall for her and I let my guard down. She managed to slip out of my hands and now that I've finally found her, I will bend her to my will. If I can't have her, nobody can."

Bucky lunges at Brock who pulls a gun out and shoots at him. Steve throws his shield which blocks the shot and hits Brock square in the chest.

Bucky takes this opportunity to kick Brock on the chest, flying him across the room.

Brock pulls his gun out again and starts shooting until he empties out the chamber.

Bucky deflects every bullet with his metal arm. He jumps towards Brock grabbing him by his collar and starts punching him. He doesn't stop until he hears Steve yelling at him that he'll kill him if he doesn't.

They handcuff him and drag him out. Bucky picks up Y/N's limp body and carries her out to the quinjet where the medical team and Bruce are awaiting her.

The entire factory and outside is littered with hydra soldiers laying on the floor, dead or unconscious.

As Steve and Bucky walk out of the factory, the entire team is panicked at the sight of her. She looks dead. She's limp and cold.

Bruce says he feels a faint pulse but she needs immediate medical attention.

They load everything up on the jet and head to the compound. When they land, Y/N is immediately swept away and taken in for emergency surgery.

The entire team is frozen in shock.

"They tortured her. For seven days." Bucky says.

"They couldn't break her. From the state of her, they couldn't get her to talk." Steve realizes.

"She did this for us." Tony sighs, his eyes watering.

"She'll be okay. Bruce will take care of her." Natasha says as she hugs Tony.

Bucky and Steve can't help but blame themselves. How couldn't they? They made a promise to her and they broke it. How could she ever forgive them?

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Y/N has been recovering in the med bay for two weeks. She was placed in a medically induced coma, with high hopes of waking up again soon.

Steve and Bucky stayed by her side everyday for as long as they could. She received the best medical attention and medical equipment provided by Tony.

"He'll pay for what he did to her." Bucky says to Steve. His jaw clamping down in anger.

"He will. We'll make sure of it." Steve reassures him.

"She keeps screaming at night. Do you know anybody called The Reaper?" he continues.

Bucky's heart stops at the name.

"The Reaper? How do you know that name?" He asks, panic lacing his voice.

"She screamed it last night while I was with her. Who is he?"

"He was... is... a myth... supposed to be... Hydra used to tell me stories of a man... a monster they called The Reaper... they would threaten to leave me to his experiments if I didn't comply. The stories were horrible enough for me to never question them. He's an expert torturer, known to get anybody to talk, to bend them to his will. When he broke them he would call his experiments his puppets because they would do whatever he said." Bucky shivers as he remembers the stories.

"They used him on her. He wasn't able to break her." Steve voices his thoughts aloud.

"That's my girl." Bucky says, chuckling as he squeezes your hand.

He feels you squeeze his hand back.

"She just squeezed my hand! Y/N? Can you hear me? Wake up, please we miss you!" Bucky calls out to you.

You begin to stir as you slowly open your eyes. The lights are so bright, the beeping of the medical equipment is so loud, you groan loudly.

You realize you can only see out of one eye. You lift your arm to touch your face and feel thick cloth. You look around and face Bucky and Steve.

"No, please. I can't take this anymore. Don't hurt me again, please. I'll leave. I can't do this anymore just kill me already." you sob.

"Stop using them against me! I won't do it. You will never break me you monster!" you're screaming as you close your eyes tightly and hold your head in your hands, shaking.

You can't take another hallucination from the serum. You would rather die than have to face Steve and Bucky hurting you again.

"I love them, i trusted them. You took that from me... "

Steve and Bucky look at each other, confused and worried.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We never hurt you! You're safe. You're back at the compound." Steve says to you as he approaches you slowly.

"You've been tortured. You're wounded and confused. You need your rest. The bandage on your face....Bruce said it was a deep cut but you didn't lose your vision. It will heal." Steve reassures you as he's rubbing circles on your hand.

"Doll, please. Listen to me, we found you unconscious two weeks ago. We were never there before, we never hurt you. We promised you that we would never hurt you. Look at me, Cyber." Bucky pleads.

You look into his eyes "It's me, please believe me. What you saw wasn't real. This is real." He says to you as he holds your other hand.

He places your hand on his chest, near his heart "You feel that? I'm here. I'm real, you're home."

The gesture and his words catch you off guard. You look at him and Bucky and notice their eyes. The kind and caring blue eyes staring up at you with worry and love.

It's them. I'm not hallucinating anymore. It's really them.

You smile "Oh my god, it's you..It's really you...." you gasp, trying to get up but everything hurts you can't move.

Tears are streaming down your face "It's really you.... is this real? Did i really get out?"

"This is real. You're really safe and back home. We found you, we never stopped looking." Steve says, holding your hand.

"Go back to sleep Cyber. You need your rest. Your body is still recovering. We'll be here for you when you wake up." Bucky tells you as he tucks you back into the hospital bed.

You can't hold back the extreme fatigue that waves over you as you fall back asleep.

I'm safe. I'm back. I have my boys back.

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Please let me know if you would like to be added to the tag list!

Tag list:

@unaxv

@winterslove1917

@kandis-mom

@cjand10

@ordelixx

@abbyyourlocalmilf

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #captain america #fanfic #natasha romanoff #steve rogers #steve x reader #tony stark #tony x reader #marvel #action #angst

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ravenbloodshot · 9 months

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Wealthiest Members of Exo 💰💲

Ranking from most wealthy to least:

Baekhyun

Kai

Suho

Xiumin

The last five will rest here (none of them are in good places financially rn)

From what I'm getting, none of these members are particularly "wealthy" most of them I would say are "comfortable". But calling them wealthy would be like comparing Bill Gates' wealth to a homeless persons (not saying they're homeless btw)

Baekhyun- He seems to be the most stable financially to the point that he seems quite unamused with his life. He's really bored. It's like the energy of a person that has all of their bills paid with a nice amount of money sitting in the bank and now is just looking around at what to do next

Kai- His finances is giving me the energy of a person walking away from the gambling table, not exactly empty handed but he doesn't have a pocket full of gold either. It could be that while being in the military he doesn't have much access to his money or gaining any wealth. I'm also seeing some betrayal here, so I'm not sure if he put someone in charge of his money but they could be screwing him over

Suho- I think he bought something quite big recently (like a house/apartment/building etc...) and in terms of his net worth he's sitting pretty high up but when it comes to liquid assets (physical money one has access to) he doesn't have much. It's probably bc of this purchase. I'm also seeing a possible new project, so overall he's invested his money into something so rn he has none, but there is a possibility as time goes by that he would get a return on his investment

D.O- Rn he's fighting to get more acting roles and gigs. I think he wants a specific role that's costing him time and money since he's wasting time waiting to get this role and arguing with ppl over it. When he could be using this time to make money doing other things instead of obsessing over a role he probably won't get. This energy is also giving arguments with the company SM and his manager as well

Xiumin- I don't think he's making any money doing anything besides being an idol. Maybe he has small gigs here and there but they're few and far between. Good thing is that he has the drive and motivation to up his finances (unlike some of his other members, I'll get to them soon)

Chanyeol- He has no passion rn to work or any motivation to make money so his money isn't growing. He could be completely over being an idol and would rather spend his days hanging out with friends (lowkey living the slum life, no shade lol). The energy feels like he's housing a bunch of his boys and they're all just drinking and smoking all day while jamming to music.

Sehun- I don't know if these guys have a contract renewal coming up but it seems like he's waiting to get out of his contract. If it's not with SM , it's with another gig he worked for. It's like he doesn't want the responsibilities of some type of job anymore (I'm not sure if it's his idol job or something else). He's quite over it and he also isn't feeling up to working rn so his money is suffering for that

Chen- He's spending more than he's making. I think he's finding it hard to focus on work these days, I see his wife and possibly his children (but more so his wife) taking up a lot of his time and money. The wife could overspend but he also could too, like buying the kids random things they don't need. But I also see his health isn't the best, he's not taking care of himself properly.

Lay- I don't know what's going on but it's like his putting in a lot of work and putting in the time but he's not really seeing a lot of money for it. Whatever he's doing these days for money seems like dead end jobs that won't really get him anywhere financially but leaves him feeling burnt out. Also, he's spending a lot of money on a romantic relationship, buying them gifts and possibly funding his lovers life style. It's like hes taking his girl on a bunch of shopping sprees that he lowkey can't afford. And it's not that he's broke but it's just that it takes A LOT OF WORK and hustling on his part to make money so he can't recklessly spend like he has.

#kpop readings #kpop #kpop tarot #exo #sehun #chanyeol #exo kai #d.o exo #exo suho #baekhyun #lay exo #xiumin #chen exo

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myminecraftstyff · 7 months

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I love listening to Bad, Tina, and Tubbo's rant about the purgatory event because I feel like it parallels what Charlie said day one. I don't remember word for word but he said something along the lines of, one day you'll see what this place is really taking from you maybe not today maybe not tomorrow but one day you'll see and then come and find us. Because he was right the whole time. On day one red learned what this event was it was getting your teeth kicked in no holds bar, friendships abandoned at the blink of an eye and a chance for blood shed. No one wanted to talk or negotiate day one for red so they changed. Anyone approaching is a threat to be eliminated they don't travel alone they are in constant communication because they learned the hard way how bad it can be. Red team has been willing to be whatever they had to be for the event from unhinged barking gas mask wearing murders to homeless drifters begging to spared because they have nothing. They have adapted to survive purgatory in their own way and it's working. Even if they don't really think it will.

Now I feel like blue and green are learning that in a different way by having their hard work and grinding mean absolutely nothing. They are working hard playing by the rules of purgatory, and they're losing! That's the point! This place sucks it hates you it isn't fair because it's not supposed to be. Red team is leaning on each other because it's the thing keeping them somewhat sane and alive. I personally can't wait to see Blue become more vicious and cruel because they've had two wins stolen or Green pull together to have a come back after being third twice now. They have to adapt to purgatory and when they likely will soon and when they do it will drive red to do worse and worse things to stay sane and the cycle will continue. Purgatory is about breaking you. Breaking your morals and friendships and hopes.

The rules are unfair because they want you to be unfair. Purgatory is hell and to survive it, to win it you have to be willing to be cruel or callouse or even cowardly. I entire point of the purgatory event is that everyone is supposed to come out having done something terrible, or they come out feeling like they didn't do all they could to save their children so there is no win. You either cross that line or accept that you are forfeiting your kids life. From a narrative stand point it is a great idea because it's shaking up the hornets nest and severing relationships once thought to be rock solid. *cough* Eitole, Fit, and Phil *cough* I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore I just think Purgatory was such a neat idea and makes for such an interesting rp senerio where role-playing is nearly impossible due to nature of the event.

#qsmp #like Phil has a scar now from Etoile killing him.#Cellbit killed Bagi in cold blood #tubbo genuinely trying to broker some kind of deal and getting nothing but a cold shpulder from phil #Fit literally hunting for Phil when he was the only red online!#its a mess and its great

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furiousgoldfish · 8 months

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Do you have any advice for leaving an abusive family? I just turned 20 and I can't stand living here anymore but I don't know where to start on leaving. I don't have any family or friends I can ask for help or stay with. I just got a part time job and I'm hoping to find another, but it's so hard to focus on work when I have to go home and deal with my family.

You're doing well! If you can gather enough money for rent for some time, and you know you won't be homeless if you leave, you'll be able to keep yourself safe and away. I can only imagine how difficult it is to focus, it's especially hell since abusive parents go out of their way to sabotage stability and to trigger their adult children just when they're trying to focus on work. Still, if you manage to keep a job for a while, and save some money, you'll have the financial safety to leave, and once you do, you'll be able to work it out more easily.

My only advice is to not let anyone know where you are, to keep everything secret as much as possible, to not tell them when you're leaving so they can't sabotage you, to temporarily cut off any person who might pressure you into coming back and to trust your instincts and your decisions. You actually have it in you to make the best decisions for your life. You have what it takes to survive, thrive and be stable. You can do this. All it takes it to have the desire to leave, money for some rent, and to secretly find an apartment, possibly shared to keep the rent low. Good luck.

#escaping abuse #stressful times #it's scariest to leave #then things get better #hang in there anon and you can do a lot of planning in this time #like you can pretend you're going on a trip then mysteriously never appear back #that will give you advantage!!!!#keep your money hidden don't tell anyone how much you got #don't let it be anywhere it can be stolen #keep your card information in your head #my card password was actually stolen from my wallet by a family member #they'll sink down to anything once they realize you're ready to go #but you can do it #they can't sabotage you forever

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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WIBTA for kicking my brother out?

Long story short, last year I (24) got my own apartment, it's literally only a 1 bedroom; I got it myself without a cosigner, I paid an entire year of rent up front, and I paid a triple deposit because it's my first lease anywhere, and I've never asked anybody to help me pay any of the bills, I even moved all my furniture in completely by myself without help from anybody including my mom or her stinky husband (32, ew) or my brother (19)

I lived here by myself for about 4 months when my brother and my mom's stinky husband got into a fight

(it was Stinkys fault, he was starting shit with all my moms kids and my brother was just the only one aggressive enough to put him in the hospital like he deserved, but my mom defended him and lied to the court so he wouldn't be deported, he's her only source of income atm because of her disability)

anyways, my brother went to juvie for a few months and the courts say he and Stinky can't live in the same house together anymore, since this happened a few days after he graduated high school, they decided to not try him like an adult for the sentence, BUT if he breaks the restraining order, he will be tried like an adult; so my mom asked if my brother could live with me for a few DAYS so she could get her own place, for her and her kids (including the brother STILL IN MY HOUSE), and divorce Stinky-mcgee

I agreed to do it under the radar because I would have to pay a huge fee to add him to my lease, but it's against my lease to have him here this long without adding him...and my apts are trying to rebrand as "luxury" to raise rent, so they're kicking people out left and right for very minor offenses like smoking cigarettes indoors or hanging clothes on their balcony, things TECHNICALLY against the lease but REALLY stupid. (and charging new people more than what the people being kicked out were paying)

they will 100% evict me if I don't pay to add him to my lease if they find out, so I can't even call the maintenance man (he's a snitch, he already snitched on me for having more pets than I said I did). So I can't get my AC fixed and its 110°F outside rn...if I get evicted, I don't have any savings and I will be homeless, BUT ANYWAYS

it's been 7months, and my mom hasn't even LOOKED for an apartment,

my brother has 3 jobs and a car, but instead of looking for an apartment he spends all his money on his girlfriend (20), and video games, and shoes (I get that he's still a teen, so he wants teen things), but he won't even pay for the grocery bill if I ask (I only ask for groceries, the CHEAPEST bill, since I work with food, I rarely eat at home anyways, so it's mostly HIS groceries) and he always says he doesn't have enough money

I am at my fuckin limit tbh,

but I'm not sure if he could get an apt the same way I did with his conviction history (he's been to juvie like 6 times for different things), and my mom has been evicted so many times for fighting people that I doubt she could co sign if they look into her renters history; and my older brother (27) won't co sign or take him in because he says my brother isn't reliable enough, and he doesn't want to take the financial hit if my brother gets arrested again and can't pay rent... (the other kids are still school age, so they don't count)

he's old enough to go to a shelter, but we use to live in a shelter for YEARS after a tornado took out our house and our dad, and he took it the hardest, so I think living in a shelter might be a trigger for him(?)...so I kinda feel bad for suggesting it(?)

WIBTA if i just packed his shit, put it in his car, and told him to go to either his girlfriends house or a shelter?

(I kinda feel shitty for even thinking of it tbh)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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