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cloudcountry · 1 year

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trust

Genre/Tropes: Nightmare Comfort.

Summary: You have a nightmare and find comfort in Yuuken's arms.

Author's Comments: i am on a ROLL this week!! double update again!!! trying my best to feed the hungry hungry yuu stans, these two oneshots were for you (and me too tbh LMAO)

~~~~~

The first thing you see when you awaken is the mirror on the far wall. Nothing reflects in its dark depths, so you're uncertain why your eyes are drawn to it. The room is pitch black, and you attribute the absence of moonlight to the curtains you and Yuuken stitched up. Turning over, you find yourself facing his broad back. His side rises and falls rhythmically, and by the occasional snore, you can tell he’s still fast asleep. The soft glow of the blue fire from over by the armchair slightly illuminates a sleeping Grim, who’s sprawled out on his back and scratching his belly. A soft grunt that sounds like tuna escapes his mouth before he rolls over.

Briefly, you consider slipping out of bed and going outside, but there’s no telling what could be out there. In an unfamiliar world, you’re pretty sure it would be best to stick with what you know, and in this case, that thing would be Yuuken.

Reaching out across the bed, you grab onto the back of his shirt. He makes a soft grunting noise in his sleep as you pull yourself closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and burying your face into the fabric of his t-shirt. His body jolts, and you try to silence your breathing once you realize that he’s most definitely awake now. There’s a part of you that feels guilty for waking him up, but then-

He whispers your name softly and with so much care that you slam your eyes shut to stop the tears forming in your eyes from spilling over. Your heart lurches in your chest when he groans and turns over, throwing an arm around your waist as he rubs his eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he mumbles, pressing a warm hand to your cheek and running his thumb over the skin, “Everything okay over there?”

“Had a nightmare.” you murmur, squeezing him tighter.

He sighs as if he knows exactly what you mean, and with the way Yuuken holds you tighter, you have a feeling he’s had a few nightmares himself.

“I’ve got you.” he says, as clear as the starry sky above as he pulls you closer to his chest.

You wonder how a boy who has no place in this world could make it feel so safe, but you suppose you don’t exactly belong here either. You both are two pieces of a separate jigsaw puzzle, tossed under the rickety old couch in Ramshackle’s living room. Nobody will notice your existence until they try to complete the choppy scenery of your world, only to find you and Yuuken missing. Maybe they’ll search for you, maybe they’ll give up, maybe the almost finished puzzle will lay incomplete on the table for months and years without any sign of the other two pieces. It’s scary, being in a different world, being here with a boy you never would have met otherwise, being sheltered in a building full of holes and ghosts, not knowing what became of your world. What if time passes differently? What if you get back and everyone you know is dead? What will you and Yuuken do if you two never get back? What will you two do if you will?

Will he try to find you? Will you try to find him? What if nobody else will ever make you feel as safe as he does?

What if you never get to tell him how you feel?

The thought scares you. You squeeze Yuuken tighter.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” he mumbles, gently rubbing your arm, “I’ll be here for you, you don’t have to worry. I know it's scary but we’ll find a way out of this.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” you choke out, and your heart feels like it’s lodged in your throat, “I…”

Yuuken waits patiently for you to speak, his eyes searching yours for the words you can’t seem to say.

“I get it.” he whispers with a smile, a rare sight but not an unwelcome one by any means, “I don’t want you to leave either.”

“No, that’s…I mean, if we make it back to our world…” you stumble, feeling like you’re about to pass out from just how scared you are, “Um, I don’t…want you to leave. Ever.”

You force the words out in a rush and thank the Great Seven that Yuuken just hums and rests his chin on your forehead. That’s a good sign, right? He didn’t jeer at you or embarrass you or flat-out reject you, so-

That must be good.

Relief crashes through your veins before you have a chance to stop it.

“Hey, don’t worry. When we make it back to our world, I’ll make sure we end up where we’re supposed to be.” he promises, linking his pinky with yours, “I promise.”

Where we’re supposed to be.

If that’s not your world, then what-?

“What do you mean?” you ask, hoping against all hope that he’s saying what you think he’s saying.

“I’ll make sure we stay together.” he says, as if it's been obvious this whole time that you two are meant for each other, “That is what you want, right?”

“Yes.” you say, smiling like a fool and it’s so embarrassing how happy you are about this but you can’t bring yourself to stop-

Great Seven, you want to jump out of bed and jump through the front lawn and throw yourself down into the grass and scream and yell and holler up at the night sky because Yuuken wants the two of you to stay together no matter what and you don’t have to worry about anything anymore because there is nothing you two can’t do together. It’s like all the paranoid questions have left your mind, it’s like they don’t even exist anymore because the person you trust more than anything promised that you two would never separate.

And you know what?

You believe him.

“Good.” he huffs, and it sounds like muffled laughter as he turns on his back, “I was a bit worried there.”

You can’t even imagine what he could have possibly been worried about, not when he’s the only person in this new world and the next one that you could ever trust this much.

“You should get back to sleep.” he murmurs, and your heart flutters at the barely visible smile on his face, “You’ll be tired tomorrow if you stay up too late.”

“Right.” you say back, feeling wide awake and far too excited to sleep, “I’ll do that. Goodnight, Yuuken. Thank you.”

You turn over on your side and try to shut your eyes, but you just end up staring at the mirror again. A few silent moments pass before the bed shifts, and an arm wraps around your waist, a protective shield against the nightmares that may come for you. A soft grunt of approval is the last thing you hear before Yuuken’s snores fill the room once again, and you drift off with a smile.

#auburn's fics <3 #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #enma yuuken #yuuken x reader #enma yuuken x reader #yuuken fluff #nightmare comfort that turned into a ditch idk #first time writing for him so idk if i did it right

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cinema-tv-etc · 2 years

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Just a Pinch of Prejudice By Laura Shapiro · 4/2/2007

Julia Child became an icon by teaching housewives across the nation that there was more to cooking than gloppy casseroles. But as a new biography reveals, for many years she believed only men—masculine, heterosexual men—could earn the American kitchen respect.

Julia had changed much more than her name when she married in 1946: She changed her very identity, from an individual to half of a couple. She was Julia of Paul and Julia, fundamentally incomplete on her own, one piece of a two-part jigsaw puzzle. And once she became a wife, it was from that perspective that she viewed the world. People belonged in pairs, she felt—male and female together, marching through life as if they were streaming aboard the ark.

For this reason, she found homosexuality outlandish—not immoral, and certainly not to be criminalized, but a rude disruption in the natural order of things. Homophobia was a socially acceptable form of bigotry in midcentury America, and Julia and Paul participated without shame for many years. She often used the term pedal or pedalo—French slang for a homosexual—draping it with condescension, pity, and disapproval. “I had my hair permanented at E. Arden’s, using the same pedalo I had before (I wish all the men in OUR profession in the USA were not pedals!),” she wrote to Simca. Fashion designers were “that little bunch of Pansies,” a cooking school was “a nest of homovipers,” a Boston dinner party was “peopled by 3 fags in an expensive house…. We felt hopelessly square and left when decently possible,” and San Francisco was beautiful but full of pedals—“It appears that SF is their favorite city! I’m tired of them, talented though they are.”

The opposite of homosexual, in her terminology, was “normal” or “well muscled” or “very masculine!” Or, as she often put it, “real male men.” Lesbianism was less of an affront to her, though she felt sorry for women so sexually benumbed that they were not attracted to men. (“Can’t be much fun.”)

For all Julia’s prejudice, however, when she met gay men whose appearance and body language were what she called “normal,” or straight, much of her disapproval evaporated. What she really disliked was effeminacy in men—a caricature that made it clear how they spurned the male-female differences and rituals she so relished. “My, I hate being a widow!” she exclaimed to her close friend Avis DeVoto when Paul was away from home once. “And I have finally had to admit to myself that if I were a real widow, I’d probably have to take to the streets. It’s just no fun; it is not only the physical male, but the mental male. Thank God there are two sexes, is all I can say.”

Julia’s whole being was ignited by proximity to men: They were at the center of her world view, and their presence lent energy, authority, and dignity to all undertakings. The very idea of a social or professional event designed around women was offensive to her. “I hate groups of women,” she said many times, flatly and without apology. No matter the occasion, if it were only for women, she was convinced it would resemble a Helen Hokinson cartoon in the New Yorker: silly clubwomen dithering over their agendas. The only women’s events she approved of were meetings of Le Cercle des Gourmettes, her Paris culinary club, because everyone was busy with the important work of cooking and eating. Otherwise, “Cacklecackle…sounds like a hen house” was her invariable reaction to being in a room full of females. In 1973, she was one of a dozen Women of the Century honored at a lavish dinner, and spent the evening talking with Lillian Hellman, Marya Mannes, Louise Nevelson, and Pauline Trigère, among others. It was very nice, she remarked later, but they should have invited some men. She said the spark was missing.

Not surprisingly, when clubs and restaurants that excluded women came under pressure from feminists to change their policies, Julia sided with the men. “I am very much against the new policy at the Ritz of allowing unaccompanied women into the Grill,” she told an audience at the all-male St. Botolph Club in Boston in 1978, where she had been invited to give a talk. “They’ll turn it into a clacking hen house sure enough, and then no one will want to go there. So, stick to your guns, gentlemen.”

One of Julia’s longtime ambitions was to attract more men to the food world. In France, where cooking had the status of a high art, men were the chief players whether or not they actually cooked: It was their talking, writing, and gourmandizing that put cuisine at the center of domestic and national life. In America, by contrast, cooking was traditionally defined as a female preoccupation, hence unworthy of serious attention. Julia had spent years in France trying to win the respect of male culinary authorities, self-appointed and otherwise, and had met with little success on account of her two handicaps: She was American and she was female.

Yet the experience didn’t turn her into a culinary feminist—quite the opposite. She was inclined to see men the way the French did: natural masters in the kitchen, born with an easy confidence at the stove, graced with an understanding of science and logic that guided them smoothly through the preparation of a meal. No matter that most American men couldn’t cook. An aura of maleness in the world of American cookery would be enough to ennoble the whole enterprise, or so she hoped. When William Rice was appointed food editor of the Washington Post in 1972, she cheered. “I’m all for having MEN in these positions; it immediately lifts it out of the housewifery Dullsville category and into the important things of life!” If improvements were under way in American cooking and eating habits, it had to be men who deserved the credit. “Thank heaven for the men in our TV audience,” she remarked in 1966. “They are responsible for stimulating interest in cooking. The women would just pass it over.”

Women were too easily intimidated in the kitchen, Julia believed; they panicked if the recipe called for three tablespoons of lemon juice and they had only two. Men were fearless—in fact, men were accustomed to bullying, she once noted, which could be a very useful trait in the kitchen.

But while she was confident that men would have a good influence on the American home kitchen, their growing visibility in the culinary profession was a touchier subject. Yes, an infusion of talented male chefs was exactly what the profession needed in order to gain stature and respectability. But the ambitious young men taking up cooking included a number of gays, and Julia feared they would soon define the profession, keeping straight men away. “It is like the ballet filled with homosexuals, so no one else wants to go into it.” She urged a few close friends in the food world to encourage the “de-fagification” of cooking, but admitted that she had no idea how to go about it—and besides, “fags” bought plenty of cookbooks, including hers. “What to do!”

What she did, in the end, was generously support the career aspirations of every gifted cook who came her way—male or female, “normal” or not. Her devotion to “real male men” ran deep, but her appreciation for good cooking ran deeper still, and at this level she was entirely free of prejudice. Richard Olney, the moody American writer living on a Provençal hillside whose expertise in French cooking impressed even the French, was a homosexual and not particularly friendly to Julia or most other people; she, in turn, never took to him personally. Yet she gave a press party when he published Simple French Food in 1974, and used all her contacts to help him promote it, simply because his work was so outstanding.

And although she distanced herself from the women’s movement in general, in her own profession she was a feminist in spite of herself. She simply would not put up with any injustice that threatened to deprive the world of a good chef. Julia funded scholarships for female culinary students, encouraged them to write to her about their progress, did a great deal of networking on behalf of young women chefs, and dispensed quantities of advice and encouragement. For her Master Chefs programs, she made a point of inviting male and female chefs in equal numbers; she worked her media connections tirelessly to help cookbook writers she admired.

Julia’s tangled sensibility about sex, gender, and food relaxed a good deal in the warmth of her friendship with James Beard, whom she loved and admired above anyone else in the American culinary world. Beard, a gay man who neither hid nor flaunted his orientation, was widely recognized as the nation’s leading authority on good cooking when Julia set out on her career. She never forgot how generous he was when she arrived on the scene in 1961, a potential rival whom he greeted enthusiastically and introduced to everybody. “I think he has done much to set the tone of friendliness among cooking types, which is so different from that sniping and backbiting that goes on in France,” Julia told her friend, food writer M. F. K. Fisher. “Jim is such a hard worker, has such a vast store of knowledge in that enormous frame. There is outwardly some bluff in him, but I think that is because he is very tender inside.” She used to say he was “cozy”—one of her favorite qualities in a man. Julia rarely commented on Beard’s homosexuality; she was far more concerned about the various health problems associated with his weight. Yet her homophobia came and went during their long friendship, apparently at random. “Good that people are out of the closet at last!” she noted in her journal in 1974, upon learning that an acquaintance was openly gay. “Makes things easier all around.” A year later, she was agitating to keep “them” out of the culinary business.

But by the 1980s, when the AIDS crisis began to unfold, the horror of what was happening to people she knew, and people she loved, dealt a significant blow to her longtime prejudice. “Last year my husband and I stood by helplessly while a dear and beloved friend went through months of slow and frightening agony,” she told a crowd at the Boston Garden in 1988 during an AIDS benefit sponsored by the American Institute of Wine and Food. “But what of those lonely ones? The ones with no friends or family to ease the slow pain of dying? Those are the people we’re concerned about this evening. And food is of very special importance here. Good food is also love.”

Her politics, her passions, and her fundamental decency were coming together at last. Some time after that, when a woman friend told her she was in love and about to marry another woman, Julia blanched for a second and then congratulated her warmly. What was important was the team.

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/2007/04/02/just-a-pinch-of-prejudice/

#TV

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djarrex · 3 years

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So I was wondering, how was rex and reader first kiss, and also the first time they’d slept together? I loved that story about how they met!! I’m genuinely curious

!!Yessssss :’)

Ok, so for anyone who hasn’t read their first meeting/first date, I’ll link it here. Previously, I had included a little bit of their first date in one of the main installments/chapters as a flashback scene during Priya’s birth and you can find that here.

Find the rest in the Post-Order 66 Rex ML

I’ll pick this up from when they’re riding in the taxi on the way to reader’s apartment (from flashback scene found in second link)

18+ only! dry humping, heavy makeout sesh, groping, non-descriptive sex, piv sex, maybe just a hint of ‘first time’ awkwardness but... y’know. overall, Rex is a caring sweetheart. about 2.9k words #Carried Away

<<<>>>

The back of Rex’s hand, the gauntlet plate, that is, lands on your bare thigh - his gloved palm upright and waiting, fingers relaxed. You can’t help your wide smile that grows upon noticing the gesture accompanied by his unsure, yet confident expression as you gladly lay your hand within his - fingers locking into place.

"Is... this okay?"

So considerate, appropriately cautious, cute.

You lock eyes with his, making it a point when your tongue barely darts out to wet your lower lip while giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. His lips curl at the corners - a little chuckle seeping through his nostrils before turning his head to watch the streaks of lights fly by outside the transparisteel. The ride isn’t very long, but it’s nearly silent. It must be late enough for the driver to have long surpassed the point of wanting to engage in light conversation, thankfully so, and the music is turned down to the lowest volume - just light pulse of a beat coming from the tiny speaker. The whir of the vessel gliding through the air lanes hums throughout the interior, along with the heavy beat of your heart in your ears. Your fingers stay intertwined with Rex’s the entire time. At one point, briefly, his thumb started to absentmindedly brush back and forth over the thick knuckle of yours, and caught himself when the the taxi slowed to halt as it pulled in front of your complex.

Rex scoots out first - extending his hand towards you and helping you out of the seat and onto the duracrete. As you lean into the taxi’s opening to toss the driver some credits, Rex watches the way you move - the way even the miniscule muscles flex underneath your form-fitting dress and with the movement of what skin is exposed. A sudden breeze catches him off guard when that familiar scent of lavender coming from your hair hits him just like it did back on the dancefloor. His own heart is pounding uncontrollably beneath the protective shell of plastoid, though he’s sure you can hear it. Your hearts mirror one another’s tonight - anxious, eager, sure, ready.

It's quiet after the taxi speeds off. It's late, and the two of you stand just outside the complex entrance in silence, facing one another and staring deep into each other's eyes. There’s a whole bunch being said, without any words actually being spoken. It’s insane the way Rex is just pulling you in without laying so much as a finger on you right now; his gravitational pull is far too strong for you to resist, not that you’re trying to resist. You want to get dragged into his orbit, burn up upon skirting through his atmosphere. That connection... it’s so noticeably there and it’s making your legs weak - weight settling in the back of your head, pushing you forward and closing the space between your faces. You know it’s affecting him just as it’s affecting you. There is no escape, though neither one of you is trying to flee.

“Is... this o-”

Rex is unable to echo his question from the taxi once the remaining space between the two of you quickly vanishes. When your lips meet his for the very first time, something just clicks - like two missing pieces from a puzzle that you didn’t even know were absent have just come together and completed it, effectively ending its drawn-out hiatus. You’re sure there are better analogies out there with deeper meaning but it’s hard to think with how wrapped up in him you’re becoming with something as simple as a ‘first kiss’. Your arms flying to wrap around his neck, Rex pulls you closer - his fingers gripping the fabric at your hips and holding you close. A heavy breath escapes from him and you take the opportunity to poke your tongue out to be immediately greeted by his own. It’s medium-paced; not desperate nor casual. The dance you share with the light clashing of teeth, the rhythm that’s set with every little movement of the muscles in your mouths - it’s just right.

When you move to break away, panting, your eyes quickly dart to the building standing tall to the right of you before they quickly return to his. An overt cue...

“Do you wan-”

...One of which Rex takes swift action.

“Yes.” Rex didn’t need for you to finish that line; he was already way ahead of you, and was somehow starting to believe you’d never ask. Any nerves of his have long since vanished, as well as any notion of sleep - other, more exciting things urging him on. He knows where he’ll be waking up in the morning, and it’s not on that bedroll in the barracks that he was practically dreaming of back at 79′s before he’d laid eyes on you. For once, the clone captain will allow himself to indulge in what this night holds.

The two of you are unable to keep your hands to yourselves during the brief ride in the lift up to your floor. Rex holds you impossibly close, hands pressed into your lower back and practically carrying your floating body through the corridors until arriving at your front door; you’d murmured the directions into his lips along the way. With your back pressed against it, your hand swings behind to blindly input the access code. After a few incorrect entries before hearing the musical awarded access, the door slides open, and your fingers wrap around the dip at the top of his cuirass - pulling him to follow you in. You make it as far as the couch, pushing him down to sit as you descend with him, your mouths staying connected in the process. Rex sinks into the cushions, and his hands begin rove your body experimentally from where you’re straddled over his armored lap. You’re melting into his touch, rocking yourself over the hardness of his codpiece, letting the curve of it rub into your clothed heat as his lips trail wet hot down your chin and jaw.

Never had you previously allowed a night like this to get as far with anyone else.

“I don’t...” Rex pauses as soon as the words leave you - lifting from your neck and meeting your eyes with a flash of concern sinking in his own. “I don’t usually do this, uh, sort of thing,” you elaborate quickly, your hands gesturing to the current situation - nervous, for some odd reason, even though your mind is very made up. His expression softens and a sweet smile creeps on his lips as he traces your own with the pad of his now bare thumb - the touch featherlight, admiring. “I just- just thought I should clear that up.” You’re not sure what it is exactly that you’re clearing up; perhaps you’re afraid that Rex thinks you’re one of those clone groupies, a woman who frequents 79′s to show her appreciation for the brave soldiers of the Republic. Or maybe that you’re someone who often fucks on the first date, just to be casted aside in the morning or the one who does the casting aside. The look he’s giving you, though, as he gazes up at you with something within his eyes that you can’t yet translate, is leading you to believe that he doesn’t put you into any of those categories - didn’t, from the very moment he’d laid eyes on you.

“Mesh’la,” he breathes against your jaw - the foreign-sounding word completely unknown to you but making you clench all the same - the shape of it forming on his lips and pressing into your tender skin. “The same goes for me. I... don’t wanna do anything that’ll scare you away.”

“And here I am thinking that I’m the one coming on too strong too fast,” you jest. Sure, it has only been a single, incomplete night of knowing him, but as silly and cliché as it sounds, it honest to Maker feels like you’ve known him forever. Normally, you’d conclude that allowing yourself to think that would more than likely end up biting you in the ass in the near future, but you truly don’t think that would be the case this time. Not with him.

“Rex...” Breaking from his lips for a breather and cradling the curve of his cheekbones within your hands, you look deep into his kind eyes, searching for the answer to the question you have yet to ask. “Have you ever...?”

“Yes, yes. It, uh, was always quick... when I did.” Rex chews his cheek - his brows pinching together in unwarranted contrition. “I’m sorry,” he sighs.

“For?”

“I don’t want you to think-”

You cut him off with the hard press of your lips to his - grinding yourself down on his lap with a little more purpose. Anything he was about to say, any inhibitions, dissolves like sugar inside your mouth. Minutes crawl by. Maybe longer, you’re unsure; too lost in this milky euphoria to give a damn about something as complex and currently unimportant as time. Your body is on fire; the heat that radiates from his flesh even from under the armor envelopes you in a different kind of warmth. You find your own hands mapping out the parts of his body that aren’t shelled by a plastoid exterior, landing on the piece that you’ve been grinding yourself on since arriving.

“Can I take this off?” Rex peers down at your hand laying over his codpiece; his perfect pout glistening, eyes darkening - the black orbs nearly swallowing the warm honey they reside in as he begins to look you over.

“Please.”

If it wasn’t already a known fact that you’d never done this with someone like him before, then the way your fingers fumble around the plastoid in a blind search for the clasp - or whatever is holding this Maker forsaken thing in place - sure as hell gives it away. Sensing your evident struggle, Rex’s hand brushes over yours and the hindrance is unfastened in an instant. You raise a brow at him, and he only grins as you lean down to kiss him again.

Rex stands - your arms and legs squeezing him as he walks you to the bed, his erection teasing with its firm press against you. Laying you down on your back, he watches as you shimmy off the rest of your clothing. His breath catches in his throat upon your removal of your bra, eyes widening and fingers drumming at his sides, and you have to urge him to unfreeze so he can finishing undressing and join you.

“I... really want this,” he informs through heavy breaths - a hint of sheepishness engrained within the gruffness - finally moving to climb on the bed between your legs after stripping nearly everything from him and stacking it all in a neat pile. “You. Really want you.” You smile - the gleam reaching your eyes - and grab his arm to pull him on top of you. He’s still wearing his under-armor bottoms, and your hand shamelessly trails down to palm at the hard bulge from above the skin-tight material.

“I want this too, Rex. You.” He groans - husky and deep - taking a few moments to relish the way your hand feels as you massage him before making quick work to remove the only thing that’s left covering his beautiful body.

It takes you by complete surprise - his extraordinary size. The way it was trapped within the compression bottoms was totally misleading. You swallow a clump of dry air - your tummy tingling and heart racing at the sight of him now completely nude and in the process of climbing back into position.

“Maker...”

You say the most prominent and immediate thought out loud, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“What? Is everything okay, is- is this okay?” Rex becomes mildly frantic, concerned - just about to climb away but you grab at his shoulder, fingers pressing into the toned, corded flesh where it curves into the base of his neck at the back.

“Yes,” you sigh - astounded. “I just... you’re, um...” Your eyes remain glued to the erect, throbbing appendage standing at attention between his legs, noting how it curves slightly upwards at the tip and is aimed at your clenching heat. “You’re big, Rex.” When your eyes flicker back up to his, his brow is raised and his lips are pressed into a thin line. Like he doesn’t already fucking know how well-endowed he is.

Shutting your eyes and sighing quietly, your face stings from the sound of your breathy voice uttering out such truism. He shifts his weight between the arms that are caging you in on either side and looks down at himself - considering.

“I - uh-”

“It’s okay,” you chuckle with a quick nod of your head as you spread your legs wider with a slight roll of your hips. Your mound briefly brushes the hot, velvety skin along his shaft when you lift your hips again. Your abdomen involuntarily tightens upon noticing the length of him hovering over you, practically marking how deep inside he’ll be. “I need you, Rex.”

You learn quickly that you needn’t repeat a thing to an esteemed captain of his merit.

He prepares you, like any true gentleman would, getting your body ready to accept him fully. Licking, touching, sucking, prodding; it’s all so exquisitely slow, intricate, surprisingly good for someone who has had little to no experience in the arena of foreplay. Thick fingers work you open in deep, pleasant strokes - his knuckles knocking into the most tender and pleasurable tissue with every pass. Rex’s lips go from attending to your breasts and trailing along nearly every inch of your skin before reuniting with your own. He inadvertently works a mild orgasm from you from his delicate tongue and purposeful touch alone - the build-up a soft crescendo until you’re moaning his name in the most breathy voice you’ve ever entertained.

You’ve never felt so safe and cared for during moments like these; now is a whole different experience than what you’d encountered in the past. You don’t have an extensive list of previous partners, but all of the ones who had made your short list were boys. Immature, needy, desperate boys. Boys who could never compare to the man who’s currently breaching you with a very gentle roll of his hips laced with all the care in the galaxy. Not to mention, his size. In that alone Rex is unmatched.

Your lips barely disconnect; the soft whimpers and moans shared between the two of you are breathed into one another and swallowed. You’ve never experienced anything so tender yet deliberate at the same time - the combination of soft meeting its opposite making your head spin and toes curling. Nails forming small crescents indenting into his skin, you hang on to Rex’s broad shoulders as he rocks into you. It’s a steady pace he sets right from the get-go and he keeps that all the way up until your second orgasm flows through you, consequently causing a hint of resistance put up by your clenching walls, affecting his length’s repeating reentry. Not much is said, but a lot is spoken through eye contact. Neither of you want this to end, but when it inevitably does, you’d want to do this again. You want to do more than this; you both want to see each other again. When he finishes, it’s the gravelly, drawn-out groan falling out of his throat that causes you to see the stars from where they’re hung outside Coruscant’s orbit as if you’re sitting directly in front of them, just an arm’s length away.

You’re cleaned up in such a meticulous and tender way that only Rex could provide. He falls to your side - taking you with him as his strong arms wrap around your torso. It’s insane; the way you fell into each other earlier this evening is comparable to fate itself. You think you’re going crazy, that you’re feeling all these things only after having known Rex for less than several hours, that you’re diving into something too hard and too quickly.

“Do you feel it, too?”

You don’t know what possessed you to ask him instead of keeping it locked up in your buzzing mind, still keyed up from the best sex you’ve ever had, but it’s out there. Unable to see his face from your position, your heart starts racing with nerves, and in the several moments of silence and lingering regret, you mentally curse at yourself for being so forward.

“Yeah,” Rex says with a soft smile evident in his tone - a huge weight being lifted from your shoulders and tossed aside. “I do.”

With that, his arms hold you just a little tighter and he places a chaste kiss on your temple. It’s not long before the sound of soft snoring fills the otherwise quiet bedroom, and minutes later you’re right there alongside him - content, fluttering heart and all.

<<<>>>

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amythedvdhoarder · 4 years

Text

Three

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Word count: 4.3K

Warnings: Swearing, little bit of drinking, quite angsty and fluffy

A/N: (gif not mine) So this is my incredibly late entry to celebrate @finleyjayne reaching 100 followers. Congrats hun you deserve it. So I picked the prompt ‘Feeling blue’ with Stucky. This is not beta read so I apologise now for any mistakes.

xxx

Bucky let out a heavy sigh as he rolled over to face Steve in bed. Another night filled with restless sleep, the extra body in the bed missing making it impossible to sleep easily.

“What’s up? Steve grumbled still half asleep.

“You know what,” Bucky replied wistfully.

Steve stretches out lazily before turning to face Bucky and smiling sadly. “We had to let her go, give her a chance at a normal life. She couldn’t have that with is Buck.”

“Why can’t she have a normal life with us Steve? Everyone accepts us? We could have settled down, got married, had a few kids. No one would have questioned it.” Bucky knew the tiredness was stopping him from keeping a lid on his emotions.

“You know that’s not true,” Steve reached for Bucky’s hand and pulled it to his lips briefly, “nobody outside of the team knew about the three of us. It wasn’t fair on her, you agreed at the time too. We let her go before it got too far and we couldn’t. We had 6 happy months together, let’s just remember that.” Steve tugged on Bucky’s arm, encouraging him to come closer. Bucky shuffled over and rested his head against Steve’s chest.

“I know, I just miss her. I love her so fucking much it hurts.” Steve closed his eyes as he felt that familiar stab of pain that Bucky was talking about. Bucky was everything to Steve, they had been through so much together. But you. You were like the missing piece of their jigsaw puzzle they hadn’t even realised was incomplete. You fitted them perfectly, after everything they had been through they were happier than they had ever been but they noticed you becoming more distant, spending nights back at your own place, then suddenly it was all over.

xxx

You missed Steve and Bucky like hell. They had woven their way into your life and now that they weren’t in it, you felt lost. The first time you met them they had come into the coffee shop you were working in. Bucky’s fingers had grazed over yours as you handed him his takeout cup and Steve’s eyes met yours making your breath catch. You witnessed the pair of them having a quiet conversation and them both sitting down at a table despite ordering coffee to go. They spent the rest of the afternoon at the coffee shop, chatting away, their eyes searching you out and finding you already smiling at them warmly. When you were finally closing up they asked you to join them for a few minutes.

They explained to you that they were a couple but were interested in spending time with you. Surprisingly you weren’t put off by the idea but in fact excited, so you accepted their dinner invitation. Two weeks later you found yourself in their bed and after that a permanent feature in their lives. You spent most nights with them at the tower. On your days off you would explore New York together, looking like a couple and their friend just having a day out. Not that it bothered you. You understood why Steve was never affectionate with you outside of the tower, he kept his distance. He had only just started to feel comfortable being out with Bucky in public. Bucky was different though, he had spent too much of his life not being himself to hide any longer. He would tease you with small lingering touches, not so innocent looks whilst nobody was watching and whispering naughty thoughts in your ears as you peered into shop windows.

Everything had been going smoothly until Steve had gone on a mission that lasted longer than expected. Before that point you hadn’t slept with either of them without the other being there or joining in. But during this week Bucky felt himself getting more and more stressed and in need of release so he called Steve and asked if it would be ok for you and him to sleep together. Steve agreed at the time but when he got back from his mission to find you and Bucky curled up with each other on the sofa his face told a different story. Of course, you instantly panicked believing you were driving a wedge between them which was the last thing you wanted to do. After you voiced you concerns to Bucky he told you that you were being daft but Steve’s demeanour changed around you.

From that point you began to distance yourself from the both, you made excuses to avoid spending time with even though it made you miserable. In that short 6 months you had fallen insurmountably in love with them but realised it had to end. Bucky and Steve were meant for each other, you cared about them too much to come between them. And after one short, teary discussion between the three of you it was over. You made your excuses about needing the chance to have a normal life where you could be open about your relationships, have some proper stability. It was all lies of course, something to avoid having to tell them the truth and potentially cause them more pain. Neither of them fought or argued with you, they looked a little ashamed but ultimately let you go.

Truth be told you missed all of the people from the avenger’s tower; Sam and Nat had become good friends of yours. They had tried to contact you after you left but you ghosted them, unable to have any sort of connection to anyone linked to Bucky and Steve. Your life seemed quieter, mundane and as you cleaned the coffee machine up for closing time you didn’t even notice when a new customer came in.

“Y/N?” the soft voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” you said moving towards the counter. “You want anything making?”

“Only if you’ll join me,” he smiled.

“I can’t. I need to close up and clean.” You could tell by the way his eyebrows raised that he wasn’t going to fall for your attempt to get rid of him.

“How about this. You lock up and I’ll help you tidy up. It’ll give us a chance to talk, I miss talking to someone who isn’t over 100 or a trained assassin.” Sam knew he had won when you burst out laughing.

“Fine, but only because I don’t want to clean up this place on my own,” you stuck your tongue out at him as you walked over to the door, clicked the lock shut and turned over the sign indicating you were now closed.

You and Sam chatted away for the next 30 minutes talking about this and that, both delaying the inevitable topic of the two super soldiers. You handed Sam his payment of a cappuccino and you sat down in an armchair opposite him, nursing your cup of tea.

“So, you gonna ask me how they are?” Sam asks an amused tone to his voice.

“Sam, I-“ he shakes his head at you.

“I’m gonna tell you anyway. Y/N they’re not good, they really miss you even if they won’t admit it to us. Bucky is miserable, he barely laughs, makes a joke. Hell, he has even stopped teasing me. For some reason he only wears this one red t-shirt all the time, he is refusing to wash it. Like it actually smells now. And Steve. Steve is worst. His mood swings would put an adolescent teenager to shame. One minute he is snapping at everyone, breaking open punch bags and the next he weirdly calm and this look of despair just washes over him.” Sam’s eyes fixed on your face.

His words had clearly had an impact, making him feel instantly guilty. Your bottom lip wobbling, eyes full of tears threatening to spill over. He jumped up out of his seat and wrapped a comforting arm around you. At this the damn broke and you descended into sobs.

“Shit, I’m sorry Y/N,” Sam crooned softly, taking the hot tea out of your hand and placing it on the table. “Take a couple of deep breaths for me,” he instructed. Once you had finally had your breathing back under control and wiped away your tears, he finally released you and sat back down opposite you.

“I’m sorry Sam,” your voice croaky and raw from the crying. “I just miss them, I don’t feel like myself anymore. It’s like I’m hollow, does that sound crazy?”

“No, it doesn’t Y/N, I felt the same way when Riley died. The difference is they didn’t die, you could have them back in your life if that’s what you want?” he said solemnly.

“I would go back to them in a heartbeat Sam, but I just don’t think that’s what they both want,” you twisted the ring around your index finger.

“Did you not hear what I told you earlier? They’re lost without you,” Sam was thoroughly confused. His plan had been to try and talk you around to help you realise what a big mistake the three of you had made. Nat was having a similar conversation with Steve and Bucky right now, informing them what she had found out by following you around for the last week or so since you’d left. But now Sam had a feeling that there was a bigger issue at hand.

“I heard you but they’ll learn to live without me. They love each other completely, I don’t think there is room for me in all of that.” It was the first time you had admitted the truth aloud, it stung but it felt good to have finally got the big weight off your shoulders.

“That’s the biggest pile of bullshit I have ever heard,” Sam scoffed. Your head shot up immediately, your mouth open in shock. “You can’t seriously believe that?”

You were quiet for a minute, not sure how to respond. “You don’t know them like I do,” you replied quietly.

“You’re right, in some ways I know them better. I knew them before you, they were happy but it was nowhere near what they were like when you were with them,” he folded his arms content that he had won.

“See that’s where your wrong Sam. You remember that mission that Steve went on, every little thing that could go wrong did. Well when he got home something was different, he was more guarded around me. I think it was because me and Bucky got closer whilst he was away, he didn’t want me anymore. I was getting in the way,” you reasoned.

“Y/N, I was on that mission with him. We went through absolute hell and back. I was distant from everyone for a while. Did you know he nearly died?” he looked at the way your eyes widened to find the answer to that question. “So, no then. Well he did and do you know what he said to me?” You shook your head. “I’m quoting here. ‘Tell them both I love them. Tell Bucky to look after our girl’. If you were really getting in the way, why would he say that?”

You sighed. “I don’t know. But he didn’t stop me from leaving.”

“Did you tell them the real reason why you were leaving?” Sam asked already knowing the answer.

You shook your head.

“And people call me an idiot?” he scoffed. “Of course they let you go if that’s what they thought you wanted. You need to talk to them or at least see them and find out the truth.”

You picked up your tea and took a long gulp to avoid responding to Sam’s suggestion.

“Well whatever you decide you’re going to have to see them this weekend anyway?” he said smugly making you choke and cough as the now lukewarm liquid went down the wrong way.

“Sam what the fuck?” you managed to get out in between spluttering coughs.

“It’s my birthday party on Saturday, you promised you’d come ages ago.” He folded his arms at grinned.

“That was before,’ you stammered. “Besides, I’ve already said I’ll work another shift.”

“Liar,” he said getting to his feet. “Nat will come to yours and pick you up around 7. Think about what I’ve said Y/N. They really do miss you.”

You stood up followed him as he walked to the door. “Ok I’ll think about it. Don’t think I have much choice about Saturday, do I?”

Sam wrapped you up in a bear hug. “Nope, absolutely none.”

After you had locked up after Sam you sat back down and tried to process everything. Sam’s words played over in your head. There was no doubt that Bucky was missing you; he was wearing the shirt of his that you had slept in the last night you spent with them. It was Steve you were more sceptical about. If what Sam had really said was true then maybe Steve did care for you more than he let on. Perhaps some part of him doubted your affection and loyalty to them. There was no way to be sure except to see them. You just didn’t know if you were ready for that.

xxx

Nat showed up a whole two hours early with an array of outfits for you to pick from. She wouldn’t let you get something old and familiar out of your closet, she was determined to get you dressed up and into the party spirit. She only succeeded at one of those and by the time you both pulled up to the tower you were a complete bag of nerves.

“Will you quit fidgeting, you’re making me nervous,” Nat scolded you.

“Sorry,” you mumbled before pulling up the front of your dress. “Why a sleeveless dress Nat? They are so impractical.”

“Well -” she paused to twist the thin satin material at your hip, repositioning the perilously high thigh split, “- that may be true but I can guarantee one thing, those boys will certainly realise what they have been missing.”

You frowned at her and gave one final look over your appearance in the elevator mirror before the door pinged open into the loud and bustling party. She took your hand and led you to the bar where you were greeted by Sam who promptly handed you a drink. You knocked back the amber liquid quickly in an attempt to sooth your nerves, before anxiously scanning around the room for any sign of the two men you both longed and dreaded to see.

“Relax Y/N, they’re not here yet,” Sam leaned over and whispered in your ear. He gave you a small reassuring smile which mixed with warmth the alcohol was providing finally made you relax a little. Nat and Sam caught you up on everything that happened and the latest avenger’s gossip.

“Hey kid, we missed you. How’ve you been?” Tony walked up to you, his purple tinted glasses nearly falling of his nose as he threw his arms out to embrace you.

“Ok thanks,” you said quickly. “Great party as always Tones.”

“Well we have Mrs Stark to thank for that.” He turned to face Sam. “They’re gonna short-circuit when they find out she’s here,” Tony uttered, half amused before walking over to greet some other guests.

You rounded on Sam. “You didn’t tell them,” your voice low as you tried to control your emotions.

“Not exactly,” he shrugged. “Well guess we’re going to find out any second now,” he smirked at the entrance over your shoulder.

xxx

Bucky looked around the room, wishing at that moment that he could be anywhere else. He was walking towards the bar when he realised Steve was no longer walking next to him.

“Stevie?” he turned around searching for Steve and spotted him stood stock still, his eyes fixed on something across the room. Bucky walked back towards him and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Steve?” he said starting to get a little worried, he looked like he had seen a ghost. Bucky followed his line of sight and his eyes met yours across the crowded room. His breath caught in his throat and he could feel his heart pounding against his rib cage. He had thought of this moment every day since you had left and now that it was here he couldn’t quite believe it.

“Is she really here Buck,” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Bucky blinked and turned to Steve. “I think so. Steve, we have to …”

“I know” Steve said as he took Bucky’s hand and squeezed it.

When the men turned back around you had disappeared from sight. You saw them frantically searching for you but you had managed to tuck yourself behind a group of shield agents. At the sight of them part of you wanted to run to them and throw your arms around them and never let them go but there was still doubts niggling away in your mind. One thing was for certain, Sam was right. Bucky did look sad and Steve. Well Steve was the one you hadn’t ever been able to get a read on before and still couldn’t now.

“Y/N seriously, hiding from them?” Nat shook her head at you.

“Well you found me so I’m clearly not hiding am I,” you sassed.

“You certainly won’t be in a minute” she smiled deviously before standing on her tip toes and waving at the two super soldiers.

“I fucking hate you Nat,” you hissed.

“No you don’t. If you’re still planning on hiding I would move now, they’re on their way.” You stuck your middle finger up at her and then scarpered. Sure, you were going to have to face them at some point tonight but you planned on having at least another couple of drinks before that.

Mid-way through your first vodka and coke a tall red-headed man approached you and Bruce as you were chatting at the bar.

“Hi, I was wondering if you wanted a dance. Seems a shame to be hiding that dress over here at the bar,” Bruce bit back a laugh as did you at the corny line but none the less you agreed.

You let the man who introduced himself as Tom, take your hand and lead you to the dancefloor. Thankfully the song was slow so you didn’t have to worry about your dress slipping down. Tom placed his hands lightly on your waist as you held onto his shoulders, gently swaying to the music.

Midway through the song he leaned over and whispered quietly in your ear. “Do you have any idea why the winter soldier looks like he wants to kill me?”

Your grip on his shoulders tightened. “Bucky,” you corrected. “No, I have no idea,” the tone of your voice sharp. As you spun around your eyes landed on Bucky who was gripping onto the glass tumbler in his hand so tightly you were surprised it hadn’t smashed. It was often that you saw this side of him but it sent a shiver down your spine. Your eyes sought out Steve who you assumed would be with Bucky but you couldn’t find him.

“Mind if I cut in?” a familiar voice spoke softly whilst still managing to carry an air of absolute authority.

Tom stood still and turned to look up at the blonde man. “Sure thing Sir,” he stuttered, “thanks Y/N,” and with that Tom backed away and nearly ran from the dancefloor.

“That was mean,” your hands fell to your hips as you scowled at Steve. “Plus, do I not get a say in this?” His blue eyes flashed with panic briefly but then that classic Steve Rogers look of determination reappeared.

“So, what do you want Y/N?” you could sense the double meaning behind his question. “Because I know what I want Y/N,” he continued, his blue eyes boring into yours taking a step closer.

“Steve I…” you closed your eyes and bit down on your bottom lip trying to find the words you wanted to say. A calloused hand cupped your jaw and you opened your eyes as Steve traced the tender flesh of your lower lip. The sound of the party disappeared and all that remained in that moment was you and Steve. Instinctively you pressed your hand on top of Steve’s and inched yourself closer to him.

“I wish this were simpler Steve but it’s not,” you hadn’t even realised you were crying until Steve removed his hand and quickly wiped away the tears rolling down your cheeks.

“This was never going to be simple Y/N. But all I know is that I love you. These last few weeks have bit a shit show. I didn’t say it enough before but if you’ll have me then I will spend every day showing you exactly how much.”

“What about Bucky?” you asked quietly.

“What about me doll?” Bucky had walked up to the pair of you, a lop-sided grin on his face.

“You two are meant to be together. I don’t want to get in the way of that,” you looked from Bucky’s face to Steve’s.

“You can’t seriously think that Y/N,” Steve said moving forward to try and get closer but you took a step back.

“I know that when you came back from that mission everything felt different,” your voice cracked as you tried to make Steve understand.

Steve’s face fell at your words. “I was scared Y/N. I realised on that mission how important you were. How much we needed you. When I saw you when I got back with Buck, I realised that you deserved so much more than someone who might not come home one day. You’re worth more than that. I was scared you were going to figure it out and leave. So, when you started pulling away I let you because I thought that was what you wanted, what would make you happy. Even if it meant we weren��t,” Steve rubbed the back of his neck.

“And you,” you rounded on Bucky, “did you think the same thing?”

“Y/N you didn’t seem happy and I thought we were to blame; doesn’t that sound familiar?” he was right of course. “All I know is it sounds as if you have been as miserable as we have. Doll, we’re not us without you. We’re a team. You, me and Stevie. We’re all yours if you’ll have us?” he shrugged.

“Maybe you need us to convince you?” Steve closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours with a softness you hadn’t expected. You felt yourself melt against him as his hands found the nape of your neck and held you to him, your lips moving against his as you became reacquainted.

When he finally managed to tear himself away from the sweet taste of your lips, his cheeks were flushed and his ragged breath matched your own.

“My turn,” Bucky stepped over, his hand moving to the back of your head as he crashed his lips to yours. The intensity of the kiss had both of you moaning against each other’s mouths. You wrapped your arms around him, not wanting to let go but you had to eventually.

You stood breathless looking between the two super soldiers who owned your heart, your mind made up.

“Yes,” you smiled.

Bucky was grinning like a kid of Christmas morning but Steve didn’t allow himself to celebrate to soon. “You sure about this Y/N because we won’t ever let you go again,” he said.

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” and you meant it. You couldn’t imagine a version of your life without Bucky and Steve in it. “Now get over here,” you giggled at the look of pure joy on Steve’s face.

Steve was on you in a second, picking you up off your feet and pressing kisses all over your face. Bucky came up to the pair of you and took you out of Steve’s arms to repeat the whole process all over again before leaning over to give Steve a quick kiss.

Bucky finally slid you down his body back onto the floor and Steve cupped your cheek and was about to lean down to kiss you again until Sam interrupted.

“Um guys, as much as I am enjoying the reunion maybe you wanna, you know, take this somewhere a little less...” Sam waved his arm around at the crowd of people around you.

You hid yourself in embarrassment behind Bucky’s shoulder. “Sorry” your voice muffled by Bucky’s suit jacket, but you knew it was loud enough for them to both hear it.

Steve laced his fingers with yours and pulled you to face him. “What are you sorry for doll,” he stroked the side of your cheek with the back of his finger.

“I know you didn’t want people to know about us,” you looked down at the floor.

“I got nothing to hide doll. I love both of you and that’s all that matters,” he squeezed your hand and turned to Bucky. “Let’s get outta here.”

“Been waiting all night for you to say that Punk,” Bucky grinned.

He took your other hand and lead you and Steve out of the party. None of you caring what people may have been saying about the three of you, only caring about the fact that you were all together again, just how it was meant to be.

Taglist is open. Let me know if you want in or out 😊 (it is quite possible I missed someone 😬 just dm me)

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mca-attack21 · 3 years

Text

The Sacrifice part 2

This is the second part of a three part mini-series. Part one is here and my masterlist is here. I hope you enjoy it, let me know if you want to be tagged in the final part! DOOWEEEOOOO!

Eventually, as she always does, River left. The Doctor stared at the space she once occupied. Something felt off… he felt off. He was alone in a way that he had not been since he met Rose all those years ago. Even the idea of reuniting with Amy and Rory did not ease his sense of heartache. There was something missing, something important. Something so important that it was written on his hearts, even if it was out of reach of his mind. He tried to shake the feeling, to bury it and move on, but he couldn’t, not with this.

Telling himself that it must’ve been some weird after effect of being drugged, he decided to ignore it and focus instead on Amy and Rory who he needed to pick up from Amsterduke. He maneuvered the controls and held on as the TARDIS took off. Finding the couple was easy as he merely had to ask where the humans were. They were both very glad to see him, as they had gotten into a bit of a pickle themselves. Once it was all said and done and everyone had made it back to the TARDIS, they all had a good laugh about it.

Though even as they were joking around, Amy could see the loss in her friend’s eyes. She wondered what had happened in the short time that they were separated, but decided that it was better that she didn’t ask.

The next morning, the Doctor was getting ready to wake everyone up for the upcoming adventure and doing some light ready as he journeyed through the halls as he had done countless times before. Head still in the book, he reached out for a doorknob that wasn’t there. He looked up to see that he stood before a blank wall. While the TARDIS did like to move things around on occasion, this was peculiar. The Doctor racked his brain but couldn’t remember anything ever being in that spot. Yet, he felt so drawn to it. There *was* something there, there had to be.

“Doctor?” Amy asked puzzled by his attention to the wall.

“Hmm? Yes. Sorry, just had a thought.”

‘That’s always dangerous. Should I start running or hide?’ she joked.

“Hey!” he feigned offense.

“What? I didn’t say anything,” Amy asked looking slightly concerned.

“Of course not, where were we?” he asked, an unsettling feeling taking over again.

“Are you alright?”

“Amy, sweet married Amy, in all our time together I thought by now you would have learned better than to ask such a silly question. I’m fine. No, I’m better than fine I’m great! Now go grab Rory and get ready to see Venice.”

Over the next two months, there were many moments like the one above. The Doctor would find himself with certain objects, places, or phrases and feel like there was something off. It was like they should mean something to him other than what they did. Sometimes he’d catch himself having two-way conversation, but whose words came to mind he couldn’t tell. All he knew is that the didn’t belong to him. It always came in short waves, and it was getting harder and harder to ignore. He’d spend his nights wandering through the TARDIS to see if anything would trigger something. He was grasping at straws, but had no choice. He felt incomplete, like whatever it was that he had forgotten or lost was the last piece of a puzzle that he hadn’t even truly been aware that he’d been solving. The problem was that he wasn’t able to see the whole picture without that piece, and he couldn’t find that piece without seeing the whole picture.

Amy and Rory noticed his change of demeanor regardless of how he tried to hide it. They were starting to get worried about him and tried to keep his mind busy. They purposefully avoided bringing it up, not wanting to upset him. That was until one day his distractedness had almost gotten him killed. It was on that day that once they were safely back in the TARDIS that Amy forced him to sit down.

“Okay, talk,” she ordered.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ve been hiding something from us, and it’s about time you clued us in,” she replied.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the Doctor lied.

“Yes, you do. It’s been happening for a while now. It’s like no matter where we are or what we are doing that part of your mind is somewhere else. And we’ve tried to give you your space, but obviously, that hasn’t helped, so spill it.”

“I’m fine, you are reading too much into things Amy.”

“No you’re not, and it almost got you killed today, so we aren’t leaving here until you talk about it.”

“Rory, tell Amy that I’m fine,” the Doctor sought help.

“Honestly, Doctor I agree with her. Something’s off and it’s obviously something important if it’s affecting you this much,” Rory agreed.

The Doctor felt like a child who’d gotten caught sneaking a cookie out of the cookie jar. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell them, but what was he supposed to say? He didn’t know what was wrong, not really. If he did, he would have been able to do something about it by now. But there was something missing, or rather someone. And they were important, incredibly important.

“Doctor?” Amy said voice changing from accusatory to concerned as she noticed a stray tear escaping his eye.

“It’s okay, whatever it is we’ll help you through it,” Rory added.

“That’s the problem,” he whispered.

“What is?” Amy pried.

“You can’t help me, I can’t even help me.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Something happened while you guys were in Amsterduke. I have no clue what it was, but I lost something-someone there. And no matter where I look or how hard I try to remember, it’s just missing. Someone’s missing, someone important, someone I think I loved. But there is no indication that they ever existed except in small traces of familiarity,” he paused for a moment before adding, “It’s like there are all of these memories just under the surface and without the I am but a shell of the person I should be.”

The Doctor was now close to tears. His heart hurt and talking about it didn’t make it better. Amy and Rory probably thought he was crazy. If he didn’t know any better, he’d probably think he was crazy. Maybe he was crazy.

“Okay, so tell us everything that you remember about that day,” Amy started.

“That’s just it, I remember dropping you lovebirds off at Amsterduke. Then I remember coming to only to see River. I had no idea where I was, only that I was in pain. She brought me back to the TARDIS and the two of us did our usual banter, she left, I picked you up, we went to Venice,” the Doctor explained.

“And what about these memories? What has been triggering them?” Rory asked.

“Different things, sometimes its phrases, like pieces of a conversation I’ve already had. Or it’s reaching for something or looking somewhere where there is nothing, but that I feel something should be. It’s hard to explain.”

“Maybe this mystery person was erased like Rory was? I couldn’t remember him, but nothing he did changed. The timeline just adjusted. Maybe we can’t remember because we are humans, but they aren’t completely erased from you because you are a timelord?” Amy suggested.

“Amy, the crack in your wall was an anomaly something like that was a one time thing. This is different.”

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a different anomaly. Come on Doctor, even with all of the places and things that you have seen or heard of, surely it is possible that this is something similar,” Rory added.

“Even if you’re right, that doesn’t help. I don’t know where the anomaly was, when the anomaly was. And Amy was barely able to bring Rory back, so....” the Doctor’s face fell as he realized how hopeless the situation was.

“So it looks like we need to find River,” Rory interrupted.

“She’s the only one who can fill in the blanks of what happened that day. Maybe we can go back to that planet and find something or someone who knows something. We can’t give up on this without at least trying. You owe yourself that much,” she reasoned.

The Doctor sat there for a moment thinking everything over. Maybe, just maybe this could work. He had come out against worse odds in the past. It was at least worth a shot. He jumped up and spun around smile reappearing on his face as he readjusted his bowtie, “Off to see Professor River Song!”

TAGS: @cc13723things @intothesoul

#doctor who #doctor who imagines #doctor who imagine #doctor who x reader #doctor who x you #eleven #eleventh doctor #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor imagine #eleventh doctor imagines #11th Doctor #11th doctor who #11th doctor x reader #11th doctor imagines #DW fanfic #dw imagines #dw imagine #dw

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sophieakatz · 3 years

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Thursday Thoughts: AroWriMo Week 4: Non-Romantic Relationships & Self-Reliance

The way we talk about relationships and independence makes it clear how we view these concepts as mutually exclusive. I’m thinking about how a romantic partner is supposed to “complete” us, about how many stories focus on the Happily Ever After of finding the one person in the world who could truly understand you, and be all that you need, and I’m also thinking about the “strong independent woman who don’t need no man.” I’m thinking of Barry Manilow singing about how he “can’t smile without you,” along with a thousand other singers who can’t live without their lover, contrasted with Hailee Steinfeld singing, “Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else.”

I find the idea of someone who can’t live without me viscerally unappealing. I hate the idea that a person could be incomplete without someone else. I’m not incomplete! I could live without anyone.

At the same time, I don’t like the idea of being strong and loving myself meaning that I don’t “need” other people. Of course I need other people. I could live without anyone, but I don’t want to.

Total autonomy does not exist. We just can’t go through life without affecting other people, even if we wanted to. I believe we have a responsibility to do what we can to have a positive effect on other people. At the same time, I dislike the idea of total codependence. We are all individuals, with individual bodies, individual emotions, and individual minds. I am a complete picture all on my own, and I am also a puzzle piece that can and should fit with other pieces.

This is not a contradiction. Not for me, at least. I’m not very good at seeing things as black and white anymore. There are just too many beautiful shades of gray.

When we emphasize romantic relationships as the most important thing in the world, to the point of believing that we are not complete without a romantic partner, we do much more harm than good. Recognizing the importance of non-romantic relationships – as just as important, or even more important, than a romantic relationship – is a revolutionary act.

My last romantic relationship ended suddenly and unexpectedly. We’d been together for almost two years, the longest of any romantic relationship I’ve ever had, and from one day to the next, we went from laughing and “I love you” texts to him calmly stating that our lives were moving in different directions and asking me to give back the key to his place.

What’s interesting is that I felt better about the end of this relationship than any previous breakup. I have enough perspective now to see this man, this relationship, as just one part of my life. It was a good and important part of my life, for a while, but it was just one part. There is so much more to my life, so much more to me, than him. I have so many more people and places and actions and memories that matter to me. And the moment he made it clear that he didn’t want me to be a part of his life anymore, I knew that I shouldn’t be.

I want to have people in my life who could live without me but would rather live with me. I want to put effort towards other people and for other people to put effort towards me. I don’t want a life partner who sees me as an end goal, or as an item to check off their list on the way to becoming their best self. I want someone to choose me, day after day, and for me to choose them, day after day, as we build a future together. I don’t care if it’s romantic or not. We will be two complete people, self-reliant but able to rely on each other, important to each other but also having other important relationships in our lives, taking care of each other and building a future together, day by day.

#arowrimo #arowrimo writing #aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic writing month #relationships #non romantic relationships #self reliance #independence #happily ever after #autonomy #codependence #romantic relationships #platonic relationships #life partner #breakup #love #relationship goals #love songs

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sinner-as-saint · 4 years

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Predestined - 3.

Part 3 of the Predestined series.

Run-through: Your wealthy family marries you off to a family friend’s son – famous businessman Sebastian. You two have known each other for a long time, so none of you oppose your families’ decisions. Life as Sebastian’s wife is pure bliss, he’s everything a woman could ever want. Until a certain secret of his resurfaces, and once it does – nothing in your lives is ever the same again.

Themes throughout the series: ceo!seb, fluff, smut – ish, mob!bucky

Sebastian knew it from the start.

All he needed was a solid confirmation from Bucky, and now he had it. Sebastian wasn’t mad, not even in the least. Because what he and you had was more than just love, or marriage – it was a healthy relationship wrapped in a cocoon of trust, loyalty, and friendship before anything else. And whatever, or whoever was to come in between you; he knew nothing would change in between you two.

He couldn’t risk losing you nor would he force anything on you, but if you’d be okay with it – alterations could be made; for the better.

He saw it in your eyes as well that night, when he turned in for the night after having a deep, heartfelt conversation with his brother. He saw that you were trying to hide something. And he hated it because he wanted you to be transparent with him.

He made love to you again that night, whispering how much he loves you in your ear constantly. Kissing every inch of your body, and not holding back. He was sweet and loving, and just a little rough as always. You could see the excitement in his eyes. When you laid in bed after, bodies tired and tangled together – you and Sebastian talked about things in general. And he noticed you were less chatty than usual.

His hands rubbed your bare back gently and he pulled you into him more. “Everything alright, baby? Why are you so quiet?”

You didn’t reply, but your eyes watered a little, and you tried to hide it by pushing your face into his chest. But he caught it, because he knew you too well.

“I love you. I love you Seb, a lot.” You whispered against his skin, letting his scent and his warmth wrap around you like a protective cocoon. Being close to Sebastian always made you feel so safe, that sometimes you thought you were way too dependent on him.

He sighed and kissed the top of your head and pulled you closer. “You know you can tell me anything, right babe?”

You nodded.

It was confusing, to you. You had never felt this way before; so confused, your head so foggy, and your feelings so messy. You didn’t want it to be that way, but it felt like it was inevitable for some reasons. It wasn’t unpleasant, or awkward or weird – just unexpected.

Just one word. Bucky.

Not that you blamed him, but it felt like he was here for a reason. If one were to explain it, metaphorically, it’d go something like this; you and Sebastian were comfortable and free and unconditionally in love and content, in your relationship – your home. Not that there was ever a lack of something, or a void, or a spot that absolutely needed to be filled at all cost – but there was healthy space. There was room, in that home, to comfortably accommodate someone else if they were to be part of you two.

And you didn’t hate it, nor did Sebastian. But it surprised you how well Bucky fit that room, and how comfortably he had made himself in it.

Your guilt wasn’t due to how well Bucky had made himself at home, not only in your actual house, but also alongside you and Sebastian. But it was due to how well things were, and how steady you and Sebastian were with the new addition.

Bucky’s contribution in this didn’t need to be addressed verbally. It was peaceful, and effortless. Natural. Like it was meant to be. As though predestined.

Getting back to your husband’s question, you felt the need to apologize again. “I’m sorry.”

Perhaps you apologized to yourself. I’m sorry for feeling bad that things are actually great. I’m sorry I can’t be happy that things are going great because the reason behind it is out of the norm. And I’m not used to that.

“Don’t apologize. I understand how you feel babe, but it’s okay. If none of us give up, this can be a good thing, no?” he pulled away to look at you. And a tear, being a traitor, escaped your eye. Sebastian was quick to wipe it away and kiss your forehead.

“But, I love you.” you sounded just a little lost.

Sebastian chuckled and pulled you closer. “That’s the thing about love, baby. You are allowed to feel the same way about more than one person at a time. As long as you’re not hurting anyone involved.” He paused and leaned down to kiss your lips. “But right now, the only person you’re hurting is yourself.” He kissed you again, pushing on down on your back again and hovering above you.

He looked you in the eyes and smiled. A genuine, I-know-what-you’re-thinking smile. “Talk to me baby, come on.” He spoke again.

You just sighed and reached out to touch his face, and traced his lips. “But it’s not right to feel that way. We’re married, Seb.” You knew he understood what you meant perfectly. Which was one of the many reasons you were totally in love with Sebastian for – he understood you better than yourself.

Sebastian chuckled. “Funny enough, he pointed out the same thing.” He said, leaning in to gently rub the tip of his nose to yours. “Tell me something, are we a pair who always abides by the rules?”

He made you crack a little smile despite your watering eyes as you thought about every single time you and Sebastian had done things which were a little risqué and a little out of the norm. From Sebastian sneaking into your room to see you hours before your wedding, to all those times you fucked on balconies and bathrooms at your parents’ parties, to going skinny dipping in his parents’ pool at midnight when you stayed over that one night. Till now; this situation.

“No, but this… Seb, I…” you paused and took a deep breath. “My relationship with you is the most perfect and the most amazing that’s ever happened to me. It would kill me if I ruined things due to mixed feelings, or a mistake perhaps. I don’t know. All I know is, I’m in love with you, and… but-,”

He finished it for you.

“But you’re beginning to like him too.”

You sighed, but you didn’t deny it. Sebastian leaned down to kiss your neck and mumbled against your skin. “Tell me, baby.”

You did like Bucky. That comfortable room which your relationship had could only be filled by him, and you both knew that.

“I shouldn’t.” you replied, as the thoughts of Bucky filled your head. Sebastian let out a little laugh.

Sebastian knew. From the very beginning, perhaps even since the day you got married, that one day would come when Bucky would pop up in his life – and he’d be here to stay. He remembered how when they were young boys, since they absolutely had to have what the other was having; their mom would always joke about how if this continues, one day they’d have to share a woman. Back then, they laughed at the thought of it. But not anymore.

Bucky was a part of Sebastian that he couldn’t lose, not again. And you were a part of him which he couldn’t lose either. He loved the two of you too much to let one go.

“But you do.” He confirmed, and chuckled. “You two are driving me crazy with all these theatrics. Bucky’s over there being dramatic and you’re hiding things from me now?” he gently nudged your face with his. “Baby, would you like some time to figure things out? I don’t want to rush you, but I need you to remove every single doubt in your head.”

You nodded. And he kissed your forehead. “Okay, mom and dad are hosting a ball this Sunday, and they want me to check out the location and make sure everything is fine. So, I’m gonna be gone all day tomorrow. You and Bucky should hang out and talk.” He spoke leisurely, kissing your skin occasionally.

You got nervous, and he sensed it.

“Seb…”

“Hey, it’ll be okay. He likes you too.” Sebastian smirked. “Mom was right.” he added; more so to himself, and you didn’t really understand but you let it go.

“I love you. I don’t want you to think that I… Seb, this is- I love you, okay? I need you to know that nothing’s changed between us. You… you’re everything to me.” You had begun tearing up again.

Sebastian got on his side and pulled your body into his. “I know. I love you too, baby. You and I have something no one can take away.” He kissed your face again. “I know you’re a little nervous, but we’ll be okay. All three of us.” He paused. “He’s my brother, and he means a lot to me. And you’re my wife, I love you more than anything. I can’t lose either of you. We’re gonna be okay, baby.”

---

The next morning, you woke up feeling butterflies in your stomach. You looked around and Sebastian was nowhere to be found. You checked your phone and found that he had texted you that he was leaving, and that Bucky was downstairs and if you didn’t want him to burn your kitchen, you should probably check up on him.

As you got ready for the day; you prepared for the awkwardness which would follow once you got down those stairs. You knew Sebastian and Bucky had talked about things, and you and Sebastian had talked as well. But you never talked to Bucky one to one about this specific situation.

There was this pull whenever he was around. There was this sense of satiation when he was close by. Not quite like a missing piece of a puzzle, because you and Sebastian weren’t incomplete, but more like another hand in helping to steady something a little better. Every good thing was, just better.

You braced yourself for heavy silence and awkwardness in the air as you walked into the kitchen; but you found none of that.

What you did found, was a smiling Bucky waiting on you. With plates of breakfast already set.

And that man was bold. He walked right over and gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Good morning, I made breakfast. Without burning your kitchen down.” He winked at you as he pulled away.

You smiled and calmed your nerves.

Surprisingly, breakfast was amazing. Both the food and the company.

Bucky told you a lot more about him than you thought he would. He told you how in his bratty teen years, he had an argument with his dad and how he left home in a fit of rage. And he was facing monetary issues so he started working for this man whom he later found out, was involved with the mob.

“I had no choice but to be part of them. And then, one thing led to another. I was young and I got used to the rush and the money, and before I even realized it, I was at the top and had people working for me.” He paused and looked at you, “That’s pretty much it about me.”

He sounded so much like he was trying to impress you.

Sat on the couch in the living room, you and Bucky talked for a long time, and each time you were just looking for the right time to bring up your situation.

Then you finally did.

“You and Sebastian, um… talked last night?” you asked. And he immediately sat up straight. Bucky nodded, and gave you a soft look – resembling the one Sebastian had the habit of giving you. Oh well, they were brothers after all.

“We did.” he waited for a moment, then spoke again. “If you think that I’m overstepping a line, then I want you to tell me. And I’ll leave, I promise.” He stopped, but something told you he had a lot more to say.

“I don’t want you to leave.” you spoke, looking at your hands in your lap. “And neither does Seb.” You added.

Not even a second later, Bucky reached out to place his hand on top of yours, squeezing your hand gently, and he inched closer. “I’ve been catching feelings for you, since day one.” He waited for you to look up at him and he spoke again. “I just- I, uh… I know that this might- fuck.” He swore under his breath as he stuttered. And then spoke again. “Okay, I – can I kiss you? Please.”

He looked just as nervous about his emotions as you were last night.

You nodded and looked down at his lips momentarily, before looking back into his ocean blue eyes again. You leaned forward gently, and he did as well. Your lips met midway.

His kiss was much gentler than the first time you and him kissed on accident. He was careful this time, cautious that he might overstep any line.

Your heart fluttered, just like it did each time you kissed Sebastian. You spine tingled, just like it did when you kissed Sebastian. Nothing felt forced, nothing felt out of place or awkward. Bucky pulled away and rested his forehead against yours before leaning in to kiss you again.

And it got a little heated; him tugging on your lip and you pushed your tongue into his mouth. He slid his hand into your hair, and you leaned forward and soon straddled his lap. He moaned into the kiss, getting needy. His scent and his taste took over your senses, and you gently trailed your hand down his torso and slipped a hand under his sweater. And he let out a little laugh, pulling away.

“Hey, we have plenty of time.” He mumbled against your lips, and you giggled.

“Scared I’m gonna take advantage of you now that my husband isn’t here?” you joked, and he laughed; letting his hands rest on either side of your waist. The lack of awkwardness was really comforting. You barely even tried, things just worked out smoothly between the two of you – like it did with Sebastian.

“Oh very scared.” He played along and shook his head as he laughed. “I just wanna make sure we’re on the same page. So are you gonna do it, or…?” he trailed off, tilting his head to the side and tried giving you a very serious look but you saw the mischief in his eyes.

You smiled at him. “Do what?” you asked, sliding your hand in his hair and mindlessly playing with his dark locks of hair.

“Confess your little crush on me, finally.” He raised his eyebrow at you, smugly, as he waited. Sebastian was right, he was indeed very dramatic.

You laughed. And confessed.

“I like you.” you said softly and he had a goofy smile on his face as he leaned in and gave you an inuit kiss and pressed his forehead against yours gently, securing his arms around you and feeling your warmth.

“I like you too.” And just for the sake of the on-going joke he added, whispering, “But don’t tell your husband.”

a/n: lol

---

Tag List for this series (OPEN):

@0501m

@unsent-voicemail

@nostalthicc

@dumbbitch11

@sweetlittlegingy

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Seb tag list:

@virgoroses

@oliviastan17

@moshymosh

@great-goddess-of-sin

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Permanent Tag List:

@the-omni-princess

@saharzek

@unlikelycandylove

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@boho-chic-123 @buckybarnesatemyheart @sebastianbarnesandchrisrogers

Everything Tag List:

@charmed-asylum

@ravenmoore14

@stangirl-fangirl264

@xbuckxnastyx

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@undeadvampwere

@grincheveryday

902 notes · View notes

miss-choco-chips · 3 years

Text

North star

Core disaster week Day 1: Bart’s Birthday// First kiss

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Cassie smiled, sitting down in the picnic blanket. There was so much fucking food- it was awesome.

But not as awesome as being together, all of them. It’d been a while since they managed to meet like this. Kon, particularly, had been hard to pin down and convince to come; but exceptions had to be made on certain days, and Bart’s birthday was the height of special occasions.

Tim, too. She risked a glance at him, stony and silent, and smiled sadly. It truly had been too long.

Sitting each on one end of the blanket, like a flesh and blood compass rose, she smiled again at the unintended philosophy of it all. Bart to the east, bringing the sun into their lives, his energy and warmth a hope for the new day; Kon to the south, lost in memories of the past but a steady, firm ground beneath them; She herself to the west, holding the weight of it all on her shoulders like the sky held the heaviness of sunset; And Tim, sweet, depedable Tim, was undoubtedly their north.

“Cassie? Wonder-honey-baby-dearest girl?”

Snapping out of her reverie, Cassie waved Bart’s concerned face off.

“Don’t worry, just lost in thought. C’mon dude, it’s your day, we can’t start eating until you do!”

A little unsure, Bart sits back on his spot, glancing to his right at Tim. He hesitated a bit, something extremely unusual for a speedster presented with a widely varied menu (Kon and her had flown all over the world picking and choosing his favorites from every possible country- there was a lot).

“He doesn’t mind”, interrupts Kon softly, before anything else can be said.

Taking his word as the gospel it is, Bart’s face broke into the biggest smile and cleaned up his first plate of ‘a little bit of everything’ in less than a blink, already reaching out for more. Without even pausing his chewing, he started babbling out at Tim, who for once didn’t reprimand him on his table manners, nor tried to use a napkin to clean his chocolate-stained cheek. Cassie tried very hard to hide the pang that surprise-attacked her heart.

Desperate for a distraction, she turned to her right, to Conner. He was looking at the other two fondly, a small smile breaking through his face of steel like it was butter.

She remembered back when they were younger, just children, before all the tragedies and the losses; he had smiled easier, then. Wider, unprompted, freely. Giving that handsome smirk like it was candy on halloween.

“It was a good idea to come here”, he acknowledged, once again making her snap out of her head.

“One day, you’ll just accept that all my ideas are good.”

“Do I need to remind you about the deal with the beet demon?”

“That wasn’t that bad.”

“Cassie. We had to eat borsch for every meal. For a month. I don’t think Bart ever forgave you about that.”

They both waited for a second to see if the speedster was about to interject, but he seemed to have missed their conversation, regaling Tim with a tale of his latest training session with Wally.

“Anyway”, Kon coughed, drawing her back to their moment, “it really was. I… I know I wasn’t the easiest person to convince, so..”

“‘The easiest person’? I had to track you down across an entire hemisphere, lasso you like a wild animal and drag you here kicking and screaming. Literally. My bruises have bruises.”

“Anyway, thanks. I… needed to see you all again. I never thought we’d be able to just… sit here and enjoy ourselves, without… you know, all the…”

“Angst?”

“... yeah. How did you even manage to secure us this spot?”

Cassie smiled, leaning back against her arms, enjoying the sun on her face.

“You can thank Tim’s brother for that. I made him promise to make sure no one interrupted us today.”

The other meta snorted.

“It’d be a cold day in hell before I thank Nightwing for anything.”

She winced a bit, but refused to let the implications ruin her good mood. “Come on, you know he’s not my favorite person in the world, but he’s really doing his best to be here for” -a quick glance, Bart still talking his heart out to Tim- “the new Robin. If you can bury the battle axe...he’s not so bad, nowadays.”

Unsure, he shrugged.

“I don’t really care if he discovers the cure to cancer and spends the rest of his life in seclusion as a monk. If I see him on fire and I have a big water bottle, I might help him put it out- after taking a few drinks, first. But that’s as far as I’d be willing to go for him.”

Considering the numerous times Kon had tried to outright attack the older vigilante, Cassie was going to take it.

“How's Jon?” she asked, subject change as unsubtle as a kick to the chest, taking a delicious french pastry between thumb and forefinger and examining it.

He copied her, selecting something brown and salty-looking from the assorted items

“Nothing new. He’s still a better mentor than Supes, though his choice in friends leaves much to be desired. Still, like I told you, I’m… better? I think?”

A pause, as he washed down whatever he ate with a raspberry slushie. Bart’s incessant chatter, once annoying, was now a beautiful background noise. He was just so damn happy, Cassie felt more accomplished even than the time Diana first told her ‘good job’ after a spar. All he’d asked her for his birthday, soft and broken among his tears, had been this; just the four of them, together.

And she’d done her best to make it happen, securing this place and guilting Kon into accepting. She’d done it, and the memory of Bart’s genuine laugh as he told Tim about his last caught villain would -hopefully- be enough to deter the nightmares sure to come with sunfall.

“Anyway, he’s good. What about Donna?”

Cassie let her head fall back between her shoulder blades with a groan, closing her eyes against the glaring midday sun.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. I love her to pieces, but honestly? I can see why my mom has so many grey hairs. Diana is lucky she’s perpetually young and perfect and thus doesn’t need to deal with stress lines. If this is what I was like when she trained me, I have a lot to apologize for. Starting, but not limited to, our days in Young Justice. We did so many stupid things back then.”

“So, the Titans are a riot?”

“They are a bad influence, and I hate how they taught Donna to disobey when I tell her to go to safety and let me do the fighting, but honestly, it’s so much like looking at our past, I can’t help but want to wrap them up in a blanket and wish them luck.”

“I wish you luck. This is why I refuse to take a younger hero under my wing. Too much responsibility.”

“You are a weak bitch. Even Bart is mentoring someone. We have to nourish the younger generation, Kon. Think of the children.”

“You are nineteen, stop talking like you just turned seventy.”

“Well, Cissie is retired. It’s not such a stretch.”

“I’ll tell her you said she’s old.”

“Don’t you dare.”

After those first few hiccups, the rest of the afternoon went smoothly. Uncharacteristically restrained of them, no food fight ensued, but even so it was a pretty fun day. They caught up with each other, teased about past exes and questionable fashion choices, and every silent, solemn moment was endured with joined hands and hearts, a united front against the grief.

Bart’s wet eyes shone, filled with gratitude, when he blew the candles. Cassie caught the exact moment on camera, having learnt the value of getting those precious seconds immortalized forever somewhere other than her own mind.

He kept his wish to himself, but it wasn’t really a mystery. Just by the way he glanced at Tim, they could harnett a pretty solid guess.

Heartache was a familiar, almost comforting feeling to her now, but the wave of raw emotion that almost washed her away at Kon’s crystalized eyes and Bart’s trembling hands gave her pause. Cassie looked away from them for just a second, giving herself this moment of weakness, and in the fleeting light of sunset, she could have sworn she saw a familiar face, looking over them from the shadow of a tree, smiling fondly.

But it was missing with her next blink, so she just shook her head to dispel any traces of wistfulness and turned back to her boys.

It was in silence that they picked up their stuff. Super speed would have made it a chore of just a millisecond, but none felt the urge to run away, so they took their time, hands brushing and then clutching while they cleaned up this sacred place they had borrowed for the day.

Cassie really needed to thank Damian for coming through for her on this. As much as she had despised the other vigilante in the past, a leftover feeling from Tim’s own feud with his older brother, she had learned to forgive and forget. It was, she’d come to accept, the only way she could move on.

Basket finally full with the blanket, empty plates and chocolate stained napkins (Kon’s hand had trembled as he cleaned Bart’s cheek in their leader’s stead), they stood together, arms around each other with the birthday boy in the middle. One by one, they said their goodbyes. It hurted a little less than the last time they could manage to do this, perhaps helped by the fact Kon hadn’t stormed off midway this time.

Cassie smiled. It was sad, it was raw, it was heavy. But it wasn’t broken. She-they- weren’t broken. A puzzle with a missing piece was incomplete, not shattered.

The hand not around Bart’s shoulders stretched, as Cassie’s finger traced the poem they had Bruce engrave in Tim’s tombstone.

“He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.”

The kids that had chosen that poem as immortalization of their grief had been drowning in it, she knew. Had needed a way to let the world know “we are not okay, we’ll never be okay again”. It was, maybe, what saved them back then.

But she wished she could crouch down in front of those lost, overwhelmed kids and tell them ‘you never stop missing him, but you learn to be happy again; and he brings you all together, just like the first time’.

So Cassandra Sandsmark, former Wonder Girl (now something more), lets her head fall back, looks at the setting sun and smiles. Because she can. Because she’s alive, and she’s gonna fucking smile for him, if its the last thing that she does.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The shadows of the coming night hide him, embrace him, want to keep him; he puts a stop to that, let’s himself be kept from wandering eyes but avoids the eternal retaking. He’s seen that side of the road and is under no hurry to visit it again.

Instead, he watches the young heroes, bathed in light and laughter, sitting around a dead bird’s grave.

He yearns. He wants, more than anything, to go to them. To join them in the warmth, in happiness. To go back to the only home that never felt anything else than welcoming.

But he has work to do; there’s a new Robin in the streets, and he needs to ensure that what happened to him doesn’t happen to this frail, rough around the edges and full of life bird.

He waits until they pick up and leave, before donning his suit and walking in the opposite direction. Hopefully, a time will soon come when he can smile with them again.

But, for now, the Red Hood has a clown to hunt and a criminal underbelly to conquer.

#my writting #tim drake #kon el kent #cassie sandsmark #bart allen #core disaster week #core four #day 1 #Bart's birthday #angst #hurt comfort #kinda #don't yell at me #I'm sorry I didn't edit this #I'm in Sk8 the Infinity hell right now #no thoughts head empty only Renga from Sk8

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4haechie · 4 years

Text

slow dance, romance

summary: donghyuck’s really glad that you’re his and he’s yours.

pairing: lee donghyuck x female reader

genre: fluff, romance (like? duh)

words: 1,485

warnings: not sure if this is considered as a warning, but there’s lots of kissing/making out in this. dw though i kept it pg (this blog is appropriate for readers of all ages. smiley face.)

a/n: this is based on this fic, but it can be read as a separate one-shot as well

“donghyuck! what’s up, man?” mark greets his friend as he pulls him into a friendly hug.

mark is a music major, just like donghyuck, but he’s a year older, making him donghyuck’s senior. you don’t know mark that well; when he stops by the cafe you and donghyuck work at, you’re surprised, but so is donghyuck for some reason.

“mark, what brings you here?” donghyuck asks, guiding him to the counter.

“this is a cafe–what do you think he’s doing here.” you shoot donghyuck a playful grin before you politely ask mark what he would like to have.

“hmm...i think i’ll have a vanilla ice latte.” he beams at you.

“coming right up,” you shoot him a smile and begin working on his drink.

“oh, by the way, mark, this is my ex-friend, y/n.” donghyuck says, matter-of-factly.

“how many times have i told you to stop introducing me like that?” you glare when he laughs, thinking he made some points with that comment. “i’m his girlfriend. nice to meet you, mark.” you stretch out an arm for him to shake; mark grips it firmly, shaking it twice.

mark looks between the two of you, like one would watch a ping pong match. “donghyuck? with a girlfriend?” he shakes his head in disbelief.

donghyuck opts to punch his friend in the arm.

you give mark his drink, decline the money he offers, saying it’s on the house, and wave him goodbye (he doesn’t stay, claiming he has some project to work on).

soon, both your shifts come to an end. as you’re cleaning up the cafe, picking up litter, arranging the cups and other items on the counter, a question forms in your mind.

donghyuck seems to notice the quizzical look you’re giving him, “you’re wondering why mark was surprised when he found out you’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“how did you know?”

“i know you, sunshine.” he walks over to you, taking your hands in his, fingers intertwined. you lean into his touch, resting your head on his chest. his heartbeat is the only sound you can hear, the only sound you want to hear.

“unfortunately.”

“hey!” he protests, but you can feel his chest vibrate when he lets out a small giggle. he’s so warm, you think.

“i don’t know. i guess, since you’re my first real relationship, he was surprised? mark and i are pretty close, so he knows i’ve never had a serious relationship...until you came into my life,” donghyuck places a soft kiss atop your head.

you look up at him, staring into his warm brown eyes, trying to gauge his emotions. his eyes hold yours for a moment. the lights in the cafe are dim, so his sparkly hazelnut eyes seem brighter than any luminosity, or even a thousand galaxies. he’s probably got the entire universe in them, the infinite cosmos, the truths that have yet to be explored by mankind.

you find yourself gazing into his eyes for too long, exploring them, trying to uncover their hidden treasures, that you almost forget he’s expecting some sort of response from you. “i’m your first real relationship?” it comes out as a whisper from you, without intending for it to.

“yeah.” his voice is just as quiet as yours.

moments like this are rare–when it’s just you two, in a quiet ambience, when you’re in each other’s arms and nobody disturbs you. they’re rare, but they’re treasured, cherished, and held dear to both your hearts.

“i’m glad it’s me.” you gently let go of his hands and instead, you pull him into a tight embrace, with your arms looped around his neck. the action is pretty much instinctive at this point, but donghyuck’s hands wrap around your waist, holding you close. he feels your warm breath fan his neck, and he sighs.

“i’m glad, too.” he hums. “you remember that mixtape i made you a while ago?”

“how could i possibly forget?” you press your lips to his neck. “that’s, like, the best thing anybody’s ever done for me.” you pull away slightly, to look at his face.

his lips barely touch your cheek, but you still feel a thousand volts of electricity coursing through your veins. “i actually made a playlist version.” he breaks away from your hold, making you frown. he fishes out his cellphone from the back pocket of his jeans and clicks away. soon enough, a melodious tune fills the air, a piano’s beautiful notes kissing your ears. you immediately recognise it as one of the songs from the mixtape he made you.

you raise an eyebrow as he extends his hand, “can i have this dance?”

you chuckle and nod, placing your hand on his. he guides you to the centre of the cafe and pulls you towards him. you almost crash into him, but he places one hand on your hip, and the other stays interlocked with yours. you look at him with so much love in your eyes–although neither of you has uttered the three words yet. but that’s okay, because you know. and he knows.

your other hand finds home on his shoulder as he takes the first step. he moves towards you, causing you to move back spontaneously. you’re not a bad dancer, per se, but donghyuck’s obviously better.

the two of you slow dance to the song, not a single word being spoken. he spins you away from him, and then brings you closer than ever, your back against his chest. he ducks his head and leaves a line of kisses down your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. donghyuck notices this but doesn’t comment on it. the moment’s too intimate to speak; you’re too close to him, but he doesn’t mind at all. you manoeuvre such that your head is resting on his shoulder, giving him more room to continue his ministrations. he turns you around, and you’re face to face again.

his lips come crashing onto yours as if he’s been starved of them for a long, long time. you kiss him back fervently, with just as much eager and passion as him. he backs you into a nearby wall and continues kissing you. donghyuck’s lips leave yours and find themselves on your jaw. his kisses trail down your jaw, as your fingers entangle in his brown hair. his hands, firm around your waist, trace patterns on it–patterns only the two of you know, like a shared secret. his lips soon latch onto your neck, but his kisses are slow and steady. he concentrates on conveying all his emotions through these kisses, instead of verbalising them. he’s careful not to leave marks–he never does anything that might make you feel uncomfortable. but before he can ask for permission, you speak up.

“donghyuck... we have to–” you manage to say, breathless.

“close up, i know,” donghyuck’s too caught up with how beautiful you look and how your breathless voice drives him crazy. he places one final kiss on the crook of your neck, before gently rubbing his nose against the skin there. he detaches himself from your neck and locks eyes with you. your hands drop down to his shoulders. he runs a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.

it takes a few minutes, but you close up the cafe with donghyuck to your aid. he walks you home, his hand never leaving yours. now, you’re standing in your driveway, unwilling to end the night just yet. you turn around to face donghyuck.

“thanks for walking me home,” you say.

donghyuck presses his lips to the shell of your ear, “anytime, sunshine.” you forget how intoxicating his touch can be; it’s so welcoming and warm.

you’re not ready to part ways with him–something’s stopping you. it’s so silly, as you’ll see him the next day, and the day after that. you’ll see him every single day, as long as you’re together. but today, this very moment, you feel like if you go home, leaving him here, a part of you will be snatched away. you’ll be incomplete, like a puzzle with one missing piece–the one that ties the whole picture together.

he silently takes in the sight of your gears turning. he can’t put his finger on what exactly it is that you’re thinking about, but he has a faint clue.

“well, i’ll see you tomorrow.” donghyuck gives your forehead a lingering kiss. he pulls away from you, but before he can walk away, you tug on the sleeve of his hoodie.

“wait, i, um...”

“yeah?”

“i love you, donghyuck.”

his smile is the prettiest you’ve ever seen. it stretches from ear to ear when you say that. he’s unable to contain his happiness, and relief–thank god, she feels the same way.

“i love you too, y/n.”

your smile mirrors his, and you watch as he exits your driveway with his hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket.

#haechan fluff #donghyuck fluff #haechan x reader #donghyuck x reader #haechan drabbles #donghyuck drabbles #haechan imagines #donghyuck imagines #haechan fics #donghyuck fics #nct haechan #nct donghyuck #lee haechan #lee donghyuck #mine

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popatochisssp · 3 years

Note

i heard gem backstories, am i too late for that?

Not at all!

Here’s what happened to the damaged and mysterious gems to bring them to their current state...

Horrorfells

Ruby wanted to join the Crystal Gems when Rose Quartz rebelled against Homeworld. He confided as much in Bixbite and tried to get him to come too...but Bixbite balked.

They argued over it but neither would budge and Ruby left for Earth alone while the most Bixbite could bring himself to do was facilitate and cover for his ‘escape.’

The regret sank in quickly, but by the time Bixbite acted on his second thoughts and turned around, defecting to join his brother... it was too late. The Diamonds had blasted the planet in the wake of Pink’s shattering and the war was over.

The...thing...he finds down on the planet’s surface... it bears his brother’s broken gem, but it isn’t Ruby anymore.

He’s devastated and consumed with guilt and lingers around the beast for several cycles, trying to figure out what to do; if there’s anything to be done.

Eventually, Bixbite decides to try and fuse with it. Best case scenario, he’ll find his brother in there somewhere and pull him back out of...this. Worst case scenario...

He won’t have to live with the guilt of it anymore.

The fusion falls apart quickly, as it often has before, but the attempt causes the corruption to spread to Bixbite too. They spend a few centuries lurking in the same general area of Earth, more creature than gem, until the start of Era 3 when corruption can be undone... at least, mostly undone.

Horrorswaps

Zircon was always inadequate at performing the duties of his caste. He got away with it for a long time, doing administrative (pearl) work to be useful, but in Era 2, after the War, that kind of thing didn’t really fly anymore.

He was informed that he was to be rejuvenated, in the hopes that his defect was purely psychological and he might perform better when all of that excess was wiped clean. He made an attempt to protest, but was ever-so-politely informed that the other proposed solution was to be scrapped and harvested to truly start from scratch, and... he went quietly after that.

Chalcedony knew none of this until it had all already happened, and when he encountered the empty, robotic shell of his brother, it was exactly the impetus he needed to do what he’d been thinking about doing for ages.

He defects.

He grabs Zircon and makes a daring escape, hindered by the fact that they’re pursued and that Zircon--remembering nothing--is actively resisting being kidnapped from his duties by a crazy quartz.

It’s not until they’re caught, Chalcedony pinned with a laser-sword coming down towards his chest (aimed right at his gem on the other side) and yelling for Zircon to run that memory comes rushing back.

Just barely too late.

Zircon reforms as himself, with only enough time to process the situation and hurl himself at their attacker, throwing off their aim. Chalcedony poofs as his body’s impaled, but the sword only scrapes along the curved surface of his gem instead of piercing right through and shattering it.

But that still leaves Zircon in a hell of a pickle, alone with a very angry gem whose mission had been interrupted.

They turn on him, swinging their sword and slicing cleanly through, poofing him instantly, and as his gem pieces clatter to the ground, they turn to finish their mission: destroying the renegade quartz.

What they didn’t know is that Chalcedony always reforms quickly. They certainly couldn’t have expected, even if they had known that, that he would even be able to reform with a damaged gem...but he did it.

Just barely too late.

At least Chalcedony has the drop on them this time and he hits hard, dissipating their form quickly and scooping up the two pieces of his brother’s gem before resuming their escape even more urgently than before.

He can’t really relax until Zircon manages to (mostly) reform, and the two of them decide to hide out on Earth, the last place any gem would go looking for them.

They’re damaged and incomplete, but still alive and that’s what matters!

Horrorswapfells

Topaz was left to guard the cell of a high profile criminal, newly captured. She tried to sway him to look the other way, to help her fake some kind of equipment malfunction and let her escape, for the good of the rebellion, for the good of gemkind... He stood strong and did his best to block her out, even though her rhetoric appealed to him very, very much.

But he made a thoughtless mistake.

He let her lure him too close to the energy field of the cell, and when he turned his back on her, the gem destabilizer on his hip was just far enough through for her to get a hold of.

He was poofed and by the time he managed to reform, the cell was broken open and empty and not even slamming the ship into lockdown was in time to keep her from well and truly escaping.

Rose Quartz was long gone, and the very next thing she does is go on to shatter Pink Diamond.

Topaz was on the hook for that very, very serious infraction.

...or at least, he would’ve been, had Crazy Lace Agate not stepped up and taken full responsibility for the screw-up, serenely submitting himself for whatever punishment was deemed necessary.

To Topaz’s horror, his brother is shattered before his eye-sockets, for his mistake.

He’s mostly blacked out what happened after, rushing forward and poofing anyone that tried to stop him from getting to Crazy Lace’s shards, frantically scooping them up and bubbling them before making a break for an escape pod.

He sets a course for Earth, figuring at least no one would go looking for him them there, and sets about trying to rearrange his brother’s pieces, like the universe’s most gruesome puzzle.

He doesn’t know what purpose this will serve. It’s stupid, he has no way of truly fusing the shards back together... his brother is gone, he’s dead, he’s dead and it’s his fault-- But...it gives him something to do to keep from falling apart and to not have to acknowledge what’s happening. And maybe if he can put the pieces back together, if he can rebuild his brother’s gem with all the shards arranged exactly how they’re supposed to be... maybe.........

Topaz is on Earth by the time he manages to finish the puzzle--which is where he is when he realizes that a single tiny sliver is missing, left behind lightyears away and undoubtedly destroyed and recycled as Homeworld’s always done with gem remains.

Topaz breaks, the grief and pain hitting him all at once so hard that his physical form poofs instantly even though the damage is only psychological. He goes inert, retreating into his gem and refusing to reform, not wanting to face the world anymore and finding it too painful to try.

(Their gems are both found much, much later, well into Era 3, by Rose Quartz’s son of all people. Crazy Lace is healed and manages to reform, even without his missing piece, and then begins the process of coaxing his brother back out of his unharmed gem.)

Gastertales

There was once a Chrysoberyl, a Kindergartener who defied authority--letting excessively defective gems slip through the cracks, selectively obeying orders, and otherwise doing and being everything someone who makes gems for the Empire should not be.

When no amount of censuring, punishment, and even rejuvenations were enough to bring him in line, he was hauled in for a more final solution.

Except...

He was a very well-made gem, in spite of his behavioral defects, else they’d have just shattered him from the start.

No, they’d really like to be able to get something out of this gem, when so many resources had gone into his creation.

He’s ‘volunteered’ for an experiment, one that has a high chance of mortality, and even if it’s successful, no one has any idea what will happen or if he’ll ever be the same.

Chrysoberyl’s gem is cleaved: cut cleanly, exactly in half with precision equipment to avoid any other damage.

The test is to see if either of the halves will reform; if they can reform and if they do, what state they’ll be in, if they’ll retain any memories of their old form, if they’ll be able to perform the same functions as they did before...

In short, is this a feasible procedure?

This information, or at least the gist of it, is what one of the Chrysoberyl twins discovers in his covert digging into hidden and restricted files, and the reason his very next act is to advise his brother that they had best get the hell out of here, away from the gems monitoring this horrible, fucked up experiment.

In the end, when the two of them make a clean getaway, the experiment is marked as a failure: the escape could be indicative of potential memory retention, and even if not, the behavioral issues were obviously not cleared from either half of the cleaved gem.

Now, there’s two problem Chrysoberyls on the loose, defying Homeworld’s authority.

Definitely a failure.

#skelegems #headcanons #horrorfell #hf!sans #hf!papyrus #horrorswap #hs!sans #hs!papyrus #horrorswapfell #hsf!sans #hsf!papyrus #gastertale #g!sans #g!papyrus #Anonymous

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serendipitous-magic · 3 years

Note

So like... all respect but... if you want a romantic relationship but refuse to have sex doesn’t that like CONSIDERABLY narrow the pool of people who’d want to date you...?

So I usually get at least one confused and/or salty message after I post about ace stuff. (Probably because I’m not aroace, I’m homoromantic gray-asexual, which to be fair is a mouthful and not exactly intuitive. But, in simple terms, when it comes to me: am girl. Want kiss girl. Want cuddle girl. Want love girl. Not really want sex with girl (partly because ~Trauma!~) but *might* give it a try in a very secure, established relationship.) And I usually just ignore them because a) if you’re that confused about asexuality you can do your own research, and b) I don’t have to explain my inner workings to any rando on the internet.

Buuuuuut this one kinda struck a chord, because - yeah! It sure does! And it really fucking sucks!

Because no matter how strongly I believe that myself and all others that identify as any type of ace are valid, I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of that very deeply ingrained feeling that I am in some way missing parts. And not just random pieces, but very essential pieces. Society is so so so so SO SO obsessed with sex. Like, in a very unhealthy way, imo. (This is about society and media in general, not individual people, to be clear.) We are taught basically from Day 1 that if you’re in a romantic relationship, you have sex with them. It’s considered, like... a step on the “ladder.” You’re interested in somebody, you bond, maybe you date, you kiss, and then you have sex. It’s like a weird checklist.

And add that to the fact that many, many people consider sex a need rather than a want, and they count it as something that is necessary to them in their romantic relationships, means that, yeah, the number of people who would consider me as a viable romantic partner, especially long-term, is... incredibly slim.

(And again - I’m not at all against people who need sex as part of their romances in order to feel their best and function best in a relationship. That’s totally valid! I don’t typically want sex and I can be sex-repulsed in many situations. That’s me. Some people use it as an integral part of their romantic relationships, and it’s an important way for them to bond with their partner. That’s them. All of that is okay. What’s not okay is saying “every romantic relationship needs sex.”)

So. Yeah. You hit the nail on the head, anon. You seem genuinely confused, so I’m not gonna be salty at you. I’ll just say: yeah, you’re absolutely right, it does significantly cut down on the pool of people who would consider me as a partner. And that’s not anyone’s fault, but it sucks. A lot. I often worry that I’ll miss out on any important romantic relationships I might have had because I’m not able to provide something that they need. (Which brings us back to me feeling like I’m “incomplete” or “missing parts” or “not a real adult.”)

(And that’s not to mention I already have enough issues surrounding romantic relationships because I deeply fucked myself up trying to be straight for 21 years of my life, which left me with some real emotional problems when it comes to recognizing when I actually like someone versus when I’m just trying to convince myself that I feel that way, as I did for two decades, and the complicated and messy interplay between those two ideas. So I already feel like a fundamentally broken human being, even without all the ace-related stuff. But yanno. That’s another can of worms.)

I worry that I’m missing out on a huge part of adult life and/or a huge part of the human experience. I worry that I could lose a partner I love a lot because I just won’t be enough for them. Etc. You get the idea.

And to be clear, anon, I don’t “refuse” to have sex. As I said earlier, I might actually consider trying it if I was in a very secure, established relationship where we could navigate some fun ~Traumas~ that I have surrounding sex (long story). But even aside from that, it’s not that I “refuse” to have sex with people, I simply do not want to. Whether I’m entirely / “naturally” asexual, or whether that’s a result of ~Traumas~ is very much up for debate and probably requires therapy that I can’t afford to puzzle out 👍.

I air all of this dirty laundry because, when I got this ask and was thinking about whether I should respond, I thought it might be helpful or at least vaguely affirming to other ace-spectrum folks to see this. So. Here it is. Like, yeah, being uninterested in sex in a sex-obsessed society poses some... challenges. And if you face similar stuff as me ^, at least know that you’re not alone.

#ace #asexual #ace spec #lgbta #lgbt #ace spectrum #gray ace #gray asexual #lesbian #asks #anon #personal #gwen talks

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b1a4seeyou · 3 years

Text

Data Research in Progress (Albedo x Genshin!OC)

Summary: Asking for assistant to his incomplete research, something deep inside feels missing to him. Now what could it be.

Rating: None

Side note: A commission piece for @samallama !! Thank you so much for commissioning me, I had fun writing for your oc!! ^^

>>Commission is still open !!<<

>>You can read it in AO3 too<<

A fine day continues while the wind carries in the heart of Monstadt. With its people roaming freely, their safety is top priority as the Knights of Favonius keep on the lookout for outside dangers, including those who watch from behind the scenes.

“Hmm… according to these books, violet grasses have strong vitality with a sweet fragrance. Maybe if I could extract them and do a few test experiments, I could possibly create a concoction for stamina!”

Somewhere inside the headquarters, sounds of glass clinking and smokes puffing out between the gaps, the knights knew the alchemist was experimenting yet again. Even though it sounded dangerous, everyone trusts her abilities so they would not question it.

While she had full concentration into extracting the violet flower sample, she could see a red cap bobbing towards her from the corner of her eye. Her tiny hands reached onto the nearby stool and climbed on it, the little visitor observed the alchemist’s work with full excitement as she hopped about.

“Oooooh!! Klee knows this flower. One of the knights gave one to Klee before.”

“Is that so? I’m happy to hear you have knowledge about this flower, Klee,” the alchemist replied. Her eyes and hands steadily work on the extraction. “Aren't you still in confinement, Klee?”

“Klee’s confinement time just ended so Klee is now free to walk around!”

While nodding, the alchemist’s eyes started to sparkle as the flower extraction had come to the completing stage. Perfect! Carefully taking a few drops into a tube, the eyes of both knights observe it with awe. However, the little knight broke the silence with-

“Master Selene, do you think this flower can help Klee’s bombs explode more?”

The alchemist dryly laughed, “I don’t think that’s a possibility, Klee.”

“But Jumpy Dumpty needs more explosions!! The bigger it explodes, the prettier!”

Struggling to explain the dangerous possibilities of bigger explosion outcomes to a child is hard to simplify, especially when you just discovered a new material to test its contents. Right on time, footsteps walked through the door, revealing a familiar figure to the two knights.

“Master Albedo!!” The child happily skipped towards the man and hugged his legs. From Selene’s view, Albedo looked rather exhausted for a while before his lips turned to a smile as he patted the child’s head.

Selene sighed, “Albedo, I hope you’ve been taking rests these days.”

Albedo’s eyes widened at the mention before quickly averted them from her gaze. Yeah, she’s going to take that as a no.

Before her lecture comes about, Albedo clears his throat to pull her attention to his matters. “Selene, can I have a moment of your time? Unless you’re occupied with something.”

Even though she’s practically preoccupied with her current experiment, she couldn’t object to her master’s request, right?

“Sure. Is there something you need for?”

“I’m planning to hike back to Dragonspine. I was looking through some of my previous research reports and I realized some of the procedures are missing something.”

Strange. Albedo is the type to be very precise and collective about his research, so hearing an incomplete finding started ringing alert bells in Selene’s head. Plus, Dragonspine is an interesting location to research on more, so of course she would join in!

“Can Klee join in too?” Cute puppy eyes staring at Albedo, begging him to include her in the team.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come along, Klee.” Worried about the child’s safety, Selene refused.

“Klee will be extra careful in Dragonspine. And Klee will warm you up from the cold with Jumpy Dumpty!”

The chief alchemist chuckled, “I guess we could use a Pyro vision user during the journey, would it?”

Well, he’s not wrong about that fact. Walking around in sheer cold is a risky walk. Selene sighed in defeat after thinking through Albedo’s reasoning before nodding. Happily hopped around, the three set on their journey to the cold winter.

From passing through hilichurl attacks to Fatui ambushes, they finally arrived at the destination of Albedo’s curiosity. The intense heat emitting inside the underground cave, scarlet quartz scattered across the ground. Beholding upon them, there lies the source of the scarlet red colors in Dragonspine.

The Core.

Said it used to be the heart of Durin, no one knows how it still glows for thousands of years until now. Seems like Albedo’s interest in researching Dragonspine is still pumping up. Even to Selene, her eyes sparkled as she quietly stared to the core with awe.

“From my findings, the core still radiates high intensity of heat that could support the creatures living here. Somehow, I still wonder how it could affect someone with low resistance to it.”

While the two alchemists started their research, Klee roamed around with piqued interest as she looked at each and every scarlet quartz surrounding the cave. Poking on one of the quartz, she insisted on breaking some in hopes to work on a better version of her bombs. Nonetheless, it only emitted its heat in a short amount of time which disappointed the little knight. Trying to figure out a possible way to take these quartz home, her eyes darted towards the core. With a smile of excitement, Klee skipped over to the core while staring into the pumping object.

Meanwhile, the two alchemists were busy discussing what could possibly be the reason for its everlasting life until Selene noticed Klee getting close to the core. “Klee, don’t go near it!”

Her words fell on deaf ears, Klee has touched the core while admiring the red glow.

“Klee!!” Running towards the child, Selene’s worry of something fatal might happen to her. Until a scream was heard.

“Too hot, too hot!! Klee’s body is burning. Master Selene! Master Albedo! It’s too hot.” As the child cried over to Selene, the alchemist carried her small body to the cave entrance in hopes for the temperature to cool her down.

As Selene scolded the child, Albedo observed the event with interest, wondering that could be the answer to his hypothesis. Caressing the red glowing core, knowing that he won’t feel the same heat intensity from what Klee experienced, his expression sorrowed in wonder. Something about this research is… missing the most important piece of the puzzle.

With the unexpected incident falling on them, they decided to head over to their camp hideout to fix up a quick antidote to Klee’s temperature. As Albedo focusly extracted the liquid, his thoughts started to wander. He realized he didn't react to the incident of Klee a while ago. Witnessing Selene’s reaction is a normality to be worried about someone, but why didn’t he feel anything? Why didn’t he feel any sorrow or any swirling of emotions inside him?

Looking over Selene, who’s warming up the child on her lap with a blanket, he called out to her.

“How’s her condition, Selene?”

“Ah! her temperature has cooled down, but I think the heat drained her energy so she decided to take a nap for now.”

Albedo nodded, “That’s good to hear then.” Even though he walked over to check on Klee, he couldn’t understand this action of worrying someone. How does it feel to care for someone dear? He knew how precious the child is to him, especially to the people who he once was with in the past.

Selene must have noticed how conflicted his expression is, as she placed her hand on Albedo’s shoulder to comfort him. “Don’t worry, she just needed some rest.”

“Oh. Right.” As he sat beside Selene, he thought to himself that maybe asking her input could help with this question throbbing inside his mind. “Is it normal to be worried about someone, Selene?”

“Hmm?” The unexpected question surprised her, but knowing that’s Albedo’s character, she tilted her head in deep thought. “Well, worrying about someone is more of an involuntary instinct, so you could say it’s normal to be.”

“But what if you don’t?” He looked over to the sleeping child, softly stroking her hair. “What if you can’t feel any sorrow for a person? Would others think of you as selfish? Wouldn’t the person we look after be upset about it?”

Selene looked over between Albedo and Klee, somehow found the answers to those questions, “Not being able to worry about someone doesn’t make you a selfish person. Even though you couldn’t feel it, you just… know that you are.”

Albedo’s brows furrowed. Hmm, maybe a more practical explanation would help.

“Having the emotion of worrying is a normality to everyone, but even the actions you took for them is one too. Just like how you did for Klee! You stopped the research for a while for the sake of saving her and even made the antidote. Even though you couldn’t feel anything, your action is what matters too because that’s what others will see how much you care for them.”

With that, she beamed a genuine smile and even pushed the child’s lips to a smile, making the chief alchemist smirk. So even without possessing those emotions, the reflective actions to that itself shows his worries too. Even though it’s likely just Albedo’s logical thinking into resolving it, he must have not realized the latter too.

Maybe… that’s what the core underneath them had the same intentions. Because of the endless sheer cold surrounding this continent, a heat source is majorly needed for the creatures to survive. Maybe before the dragon’s body decomposed, the purity of the dragon’s heart still pumps with infinite power for those who need it most.

While his thoughts wander for more possibilities, a yawn is heard beside him. Witnessing her eyes slowly drooping to a slumber, he gently pulled her body to lean on him while her head landed on his shoulder. Mayhaps the heat from before overtaken her as well, he decided to let her rest for now. Ah, this could be another action of worrying then. The edge of Albedo’s lips lift as he watches over the two knights sleeping with the thought that he learned something new.

Either way with the current situation, it’s best to pause the research for a while. He couldn’t bear to wake them up by how peaceful their expressions look. Once there’s time to reflect, he will thoroughly look for the missing information of his research and analytics of the emotion he seeks.

#Eunhwa writes #Writing commissions #Genshin Impact #Genshin Impact Albedo #Albedo #Klee Genshin impact #Klee #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMMISSIONING ME ;w;

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yokelish · 3 years

Text

Mut(e)iny.

✏ Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs ✏ Characters: Kunikida Doppo ✏ Word count: 1,517 ✏ Warnings: Ansgstober in November.

I can’t even tell him. But even if I could, what would I tell him? There are no words to justify my longing. Nor would my words cloud his mind even for moment or shake the core of his being. I do not hold such power. He is simply unreachable, unfathomable, and, ultimately, unbending. Nothing like people who believe in things that are too beautiful to be preserved, like an undying faith in something big, and bright, and flawless. Nothing like a man who holds an unbreakable ideal in his heart. Nothing like mute rejection.

Fortunately or not, I was oblivious at first. And, perhaps, that was one of the reasons how he came to know. Not to say that I was blindly crossing this boundary. No, I simply saw something beyond this boundary. I thought it made us closer that I could see something too, something of my own somewhere in the distance. I wish I never saw.

No, it started ordinarily so. Two people crossing paths in life, following the same road, essentially coming to walk along side each other. Nothing special between two people for the things they keep in sight are a priority than the shoulder walking next to you. And it should have stayed that way. My eyes should have been looking at the things ahead of me, watching the road, never looking away for too long. If only I was as determined to keep my head straight and my eyes unblinking, I would have avoided much heartache. I wouldn’t be victim to such mutiny.

We brushed shoulders for a moment. Two people walking a road together, accidental contact that lingered a second too long. And what he thinks was a polite smile — a pacifying gesture — was something dazzling to me. I should have never looked at his face; I should have rebuked his smile, rejected any appeasement. But I stared wide-eyed, amazed by the unexpected. And from here on out, I only wanted to look at him more. And I did.

Sweet downfall. It was a slow fall, gentle as a petal dancing in the wind, and just as enchanting. The ground beneath my feet swiftly disappeared making me an easy pretty to the inevitable. It swallowed me whole. The way down was gentle, but it had nothing to do with his gentleness. No, that was because it was such an unhurried act, slowly coming together like a puzzle. He, on the other hand, he is quite the opposite. Wilful, inflexible, kind but harsh, stoic yet overreactive. Unlike some, it wasn’t the lack of emotional display that made him appealing or mysterious. It was his stubborn gaze forward. Always looking ahead as if he was seeing something, something no one else could see. It made it easier for me to look at him without being noticed. Of course, he wasn’t as naïve as to ignore his immediate surroundings, but If he was looking ahead, I was looking at him. Thus, our eyes never met. He didn’t know — wasn’t even aware of it happening — as I was watching more and more. And I was slowly moving towards my undoing since I forgot to watch the road ahead of me. It was, still, a sweet fall, I admit.

There was more to him than he was willing to show. For his candor, he had his share of secrets. For example, refusing to show the pressure affecting him. Inflexible, dangerously so. Branches that refuse to follow the wind break sooner and louder. For this, I called him an oak with kindness a heart could offer. I didn’t think he’d understand. He called me a willow. It was me who didn’t understand.

His goodness was apparent, too apparent. His righteousness, uncompromising as it was, exposed his weaknesses to all naked eyes. It pained me to see his pain. For all his correctness, he still possessed an overflowing self-consciousness. He was far too aware of himself. Weaknesses and flaws hurt him more than they hurt me. After all, I was only an eyewitness.

Yes, my fall was gentle, I admit. It’s the landing that’s always harsh and painful.

With the wisdom of time and broken heart, I can sat that is also a reason why he can’t look at me anymore. All he can see in me is his flaws observed, recorded, and reflected.

I once, in jest, compared him to his notebook: easy to read. With neat handwriting and dedication to order, it was true. My words were a compliment, at least that’s how I meant them. He seemed flustered for a second, taking in the unexpected words, processing. It was one of the things I treasures about his nature. He was observant, cautious with words, attentive when called upon. With a light-hearted laugh, he accepted my words without rebuke. And then offered some of his own. I may have to be puzzled by such comparison for the rest of my life. In his words, I was a memoir no one could read.

That’s when our eyes met. All I know that my heart was bursting, filled with warmth towards the person in front of me. All I know is that I was mesmerized by those eyes looking into mine. I have little doubt he never saw that, never noticed those signs. It wouldn’t be in his nature. He must have noticed by then or just in that moment, no matter. Because it didn’t last. His nature dictated to look forward more than at other people. Considering everything, he probably is the only one who can see it and believe in what he is seeing ahead. That was is ahead is attainable, that something is real and can be sustained. But I was lost after the moment was over. His words didn’t not sink into my heart nor did they reveal their meaning. They were left on my mind like an ugly imprint, a record unpleasantly repeating.

A memoir no one could read. I wondered how he meant it. Could it be something beautiful in his mind? But it meant I was a story no one could tell. While he had taste for unattainable, I doubt that’s how he saw things. Was he merely suspicious of my words to offer such a quizzical answer? Then he must not trust me at all. Could it be envy of a man who didn’t want to be read? Envy sprouts many sins.

The only answer I arrived at that he couldn’t read me. Whether it was good or bad, I could only guess. And my own nature took me towards adverse path.

The more I danced around him trying to prove my trustworthiness, the less, I think, he wanted to trust me. And when I stopped, he mutely judged my changing nature. He never said a word out loud, I knew that much about him just by observation. There was no winning, it wasn’t’ a race or a game. He was not a puzzle for me to put together. There would be no accomplishment. I should have known from the start.

This not ideal, he says. And he means “this is no more than”. But all I hear is “this is less than”. If people were puzzles to him, he rejected those incomplete or with a piece missing. And he rejected them fully, at face value. Because it is not ideal, he says. And he means “no more than”, but all I heard is “less than”. I feel less than.

Late in the night, I tell something I shouldn’t have uttered in his presence. A question that’s been heavy on my mind, unpleasantly repeating. I asked how it felt to be walking a road so uncertain that it may lead to a dead end. He answered, of course. He answered as sensibly as a man chasing an impossible thing could. It angered me so. I wanted to revolt. For all the things I left unsaid, for all the thoughts inside my head, for every time I wanted to meet his eyes and he was only looking ahead. I wanted to avenge, I wanted to replicate the mutiny I have been going through. To inflict the pain of my thoughts onto someone else, make someone else understand what it’s like to be me in this impossible situation. I wanted to push him, send him falling, and down on the ground with a thud.

But it was his ideal, no one else’s. He never pushed beyond his boundary; I did. He never hinted at the more that could have been. He is free to decide what people suit him and whatnot. I know it, so I lose my voice. Again, I’m mute.

But our eyes meet once again. He is choosing to look at me, he might just be trying to read what no one else can. Perhaps, an oak would bend to the wind as willow does. And so, I ask him what made him so sure that his ideal would stay by his side when attained.

He never did give an answer, remaining mute.

#yokelishtorturesenglish #bsd scenarios #bsd fanfic #bsd imagines #kunikida doppo x reader #writing dump is coming #yay? nay

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thehltwoghosts · 4 years

Text

Adore You - The Story of Two Lovers

‟In all the seas, in all the world, there has never been a land quite like the isle of Eroda. Shape unmistakably like a frown, it is home to an all but forgotten fishing village that has had perpetual cloud cover for as long as anyone can remember.”

Eroda is an unique island. But still it’s like any others, can be seen by everyone, can be visited by people who want to discover and maybe someday the one who embraced the beauty can find themselves in it.

However people chose to not acknowledge it, they closed their eyes, extinguished the candles, shut the doors… Just to run away from a thing that is buried deep into their hearts. Even If lights are out or they can’t see anything or hear anything, it is still going to enlighten their darkness, fill the blanks with whispers, assemble the hearts that are too weak to be encountered.

That’s why the island is covered in clouds. Forgotten by anyone but still there, exist.

Eroda isn’t an island, it’s a feeling. Feeling that at first tried to be covered but no matter what, it was released to space for exploration. To find a place to settle or a person...

‟An isle where some still that it’s bad luck to mention a pig in fisherman’s pub.”

In a fisherman’s pub, you should find seafood not a pig. It is irrelevant, weird, inappropriate.

It’s like a snowflake on a sunny day. Different... and for them difference is something bad, something brings bad luck.

‟Where seeing a minister in the morning meant you should go home immediately.”

Religion is so venerable that it makes the person employee about unapproachable. Which causes people to behave from hearing but not from learning and when they don’t try to learn, there’s nothing that can be done.

‟Some fishermen still wore a single gold earring for luck, some say it’s to pay to have your body buried If you die in a strange port.”

"Most commonly in the 80′s, wearing an earring in your left ear was a statement showing that one was oriented towards the opposite sex. Less known, perhaps, was the symbolism of having an earring in your right ear, which meant you may have been attracted to the same sex. The motto was, ‘left is right, right is wrong.’ "

The man is wearing an earring from the left sight. Specify himself as ‘normal’ to bring him good luck, to be worth burying. For people to not misunderstand him or indeed misunderstand him.

‟It was also frowned upon to be caught whistling in the wind, in fear you might turn a gust into a gale.”

A single word, whisper, whimper can turn a gust to a gale. Can enlighten your own truth to yourself like a wave, just a blow of wind can cause tornadoes.

One person can make you who you are.

‟And If you ever leave Eroda, avoid doing so on odd numbered days...”

This is coming from fear. They can’t be left in too odd numbers, they can’t act too manly or girly, they can’t style their hair too unusually… Too isn’t something you shouldn’t do and that brings gratuitous fear.

‟Everyone was always frowning which they referred to as Resting Fish Face. But then… well something peculiar happened… or I mean… someone peculiar happened. The Boy was… peculiar… from the moment he entered the world. No one ever meant to be mean towards him but in town grown used to how the things were, no one knew what to do with something… different.”

Instead of others who don’t admit themselves as a whole and covered the parts they don’t want to feel with dreary frowning, the boy embraced himself. With every part that belongs to him as any other, with every feeling he has, he smiled to an island.

In an island that doesn’t know the light but dark, doesn’t know happiness but sorrow, doesn't know equality but disparity… They wouldn’t know how a smile could make a difference, so they wouldn’t.

‟They did their very best to ignore it… hoping it would go away… and eventually so did The Boy. He had lost his smile and without it the world grew darker, the wind colder and the ocean more violent.”

They ignored him, his feelings and his smile as always. They hoped that it’d go away or he’ll go away ‘cause in here, these are the things you have to be covered. They were scared of him, of the lightness he brought with himself, bright as sun maybe brighter than the sun because he can bore into clouds and eliminate them.

However the boy was lonely. He needed somebody to share his weight with. He couldn’t do it on his own, his luminance was so bright, either he had to keep it as a secret or explode the world that didn't have the ability to keep him alive.

So he chose...

‟The Boy tried to ignore the fish but he was not alone in his melancholy. Loneliness is an ocean full of travelers trying to find their place in the world. But without friendship we are all lost & left with no hope, no home, no harbor.”

He collected jars of disappointment, masks of suppression, rocks of desperation and decided that the world doesn’t deserve his smile or him completely. He didn’t want to be seen by others. If he existed for the last time in this paltry earth, he had to be remembered by his smile, his difference from the frowny faces.

What he didn’t expect was to see someone like him. Someone traveled through the oceans to find himself but eventually gave up with understanding that loneliness is an ocean and the only way to get out will be landing hard rocks and watching himself disappear slowly into the shallow.

The fish was lost while trying to find himself, he was left on a hard surface with no hope to accompany him, no home to settle in, no harbor to keep him alive...

‟He wondered what cruel twist of fate brought them together and If fate was involved, what did she have in store.”

He threw up fish to a place he thinks the fish belongs; however fish was tired of trying to find a piece of him in an ocean that represents loneliness. The fish came back with hope that he’s soon going to survive from his melancholy but the way he’ll survive was not expected.

The boy wanted a partner to share his weight, his difference, his loneliness with. The fish wanted to be a part of something, accepted by others that didn't need him, got rid of his lonely state of multitude.

So they found themselves like they’re two missing pieces of an incomplete puzzle. They were meant to be but fate was holding a twist, they were going to learn that soon...

‟Walk in your rainbow paradise. Strawberry lipstick state of mind. I get so lost inside your eyes, would you believe it?”

The fish found himself survived by a person who tried the same way as him to handle voidness. By dying down to oblivion. He would never conjecture what’s waiting for him but it just kinda happened suddenly, fortuitously...

He has been lifted and carried away in a closed space. But darkness after meeting with the source of light was so appalling, he wanted to escape from it and he over flowed. He came face to face with the surface again, the same emotions were going through inside of him. That was the place he belongs, a hard surface, an abandoned island. Nevertheless he felt foreign to cold after warmth touched his skin.

The familiar warmth welcomed him again, with a face full of apprehension. Maybe the boy’s scared of people to see him because the fish was gleaming in the form of golden skin. Maybe the fish’s scared of being seen by people, encounter with frowns that not just formulated but effectuated a demeanor towards difference.

In any case, the boy was so lost inside of an ocean that he was captured with fish. Would he ever guess that someday in a place where everything finally becomes an end, someone was going to be his new beginning? No, he wouldn’t. Would you believe it? He ran away with fish from the censorious eyes in a hope that they would never meet them again.

‟You don’t have to say you love me. You don’t have to say nothing. You don’t have to say you’re mine, honey.”

At the beginning the fish was tiny, the boy could find a place for him to live, where he would keep fish next to him. He was infatuated with him from the moment they’ve met, he wanted to keep him alive and close. He's paid attention to little things that make a big difference; the water was hot, it could burn fish’s skin, make him uncomfortable, however he would never let him suffer at least with pain that comes from his hands.

There were people who have been watching them. The quantity was low, the ones who perceived a sparkle and found the source affected differently. Some of them haven’t changed; same frowning, same coldness, same obstruction that restrain the truth from coming out, same eyes that were looking but couldn’t bother to see.

Some of them have changed, they brightened from the sparkle which was going to be a flame. Empty eyes comprehended a sign of vividness, sun rose above the hazy minds and made them clear, souls embraced themselves as whole. Without distinction, contempt, shame.

The boy made them realize who they really are by dint of light that was actually buried deep into their hearts. He helped them through their journey. And at the end they found themselves, their lightness, their eroda. That was the beginning of the regeneration, a reborn.

‟I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you. Oh, honey. I'd walk through fire for you just let me adore you. Like it's the only thing I'll ever do.”

When he’s scared people away and left alone just by himself, when there’s no reason to go outside because there is no one out there for him to talk to, he would go to his secluded place. He would spend his time here, get away or suppress his feelings that want to come out then come back to his hiding place, his bedroom.

The bedroom was inside the doors, surrounded with walls that are like a fine line between him and the others, closed and open… Bedroom’s aura has been capturing the feeling of cloudy weather before the storm arrives. Dark blue walls mixed up with baby blue and white, sheets are turquoise, ceiling is sky blue. Before the dreams had appeared in the air, he would look at his handmade sky and wonder about days which he will see the natural sky in daylight, hot and full of life.

There are jars of his sorrow on the shelves, traces of his pain in the corners. This room is a concrete form of his emotions, a shelter for his wishes, a part of his heart and now he brought the fish to his hiding place. The very first step of him to a heart that has never been loved.

First feeding each other (or the boy’s feeding the fish and himself), first love stares throwing one and another, first taste of sweet feeling in the air which collapses shirts when the boy adores the fish like it's the only thing he'll ever do, first glimpse of colors appearing on the faces. A form of red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple...

With each of these; the connection between them is becoming stronger, the reality is dreamier and their existence that encountered with a new hope is bigger. So does the fish. He’s bigger now, more noticeable but not bright enough for people who didn’t want to see, to notice.

He wanted help from another boy. An opportunity for the boy to see his journey and his new beginning through the light he came into. Another realization...

‟You wonder under summer skies. Brown skin and lemon over ice, would you believe it? You don't have to say you love me. I just wanna tell you something, lately you've been on my mind honey. I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you.”

His hiding place became a gate for his own heart that opened up a short time ago to someone who is going to change its ownership. His secluded place became a location for the biggest crime, robbery. When you stole something, the one left behind was never going to be the same ‘cause his one part was captured by someone and the only way for him to be whole again is finding his missing part.

The fish stole his heart at this spot, now his heart doesn’t belong to just one soul but two. This is a place where two souls complete in one body, two hearts in one beat.

Once he was filling the jars with desperate screams; now his disappointment, suppression and desperation is creating melodies into the sky that welcome each other with echoes. Once he was keeping his head low, now the sky can’t contain his smile which widens with each breath and heightens to the sky he’s been dreaming about. Once the air was misty, full of clouds; now the sun shows its face slightly, opens the thick air with light.

The source of his happiness is next to him. Listening his thoughts, hearing his screaming without him formulating it, looking at what he’s showing to him, seeing his effects on other people, dancing with him under the daylight without fear. They’re alone but it feels more crowded than when people are around. There’s something that wants to be vocalized, out and loud. It creates shivers down the boy's spine, "Lately you’ve been on my mind, honey." "I adore you."

He helped another soul who chooses love instead of hate. He gave him a hint, the rest was in the hands of fate and the boy…

‟Oh, honey. I’d walk through the fire for you, just let me adore you. Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do. Like it’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”

The boy's knitting second skin for fish. Like fish’s skin this is multicolored too, a reflection of his rainbow paradise that he found with fish. But this skin is showing the fish more apparent, more certain to anyone and boy’s making this for him. He wants to be obvious to people who saw them together, thought that maybe they’re ‘normal’ but no, boy wants to say "I’m who I am, open and proud. Colorful and cheerful. I am me with all of the things that make me who I’m today, with my skin. I’m wearing myself on my skin." This is a way of expressing without the needs of words.

When darkness comes with the arrival of the night, their eyes are still continuing to shine through each other. Each look is another indication of fondness, each blink has maden is a waste of time when all the world is lying in front of you. The fish is mesmerized by him, those two eyes he had found are captivating. Capture the seconds he's had, capture the feeling that brings him somewhere he hasn't been in before, capture the moment that deserved to be frozen, capture his eyes that settled with continuity, capture a part of him.

A heart had been shining from inside but was lost in the darkness. Another heart had been trying to find his home without any compass to guidance. Somehow the light of the heart shined through the dark to a road that another’s been trying to find. It’s guided to home where you don’t find familiar faces but familiar souls. Home became not just a place but a person, heart found out that everywhere you’re loved, you are home. A decision has been made, two hearts were each other’s home and they wanted to be each other’s forever too. The infinity was impossible and death was inevitable but their bond was unbreakable. They exchanged their most precious part, most fragile... Once lost heart split its loneliness in two, once excluded heart split its needs of belonging in two and they made them one in the end. Forever and ever...

The news was telling that others like him need a new home but the fish has already found his, hasn’t he? He doesn’t want any home while his home was here with him, sleeping with peace, unaware of everything. He kept thinking throughout the night, maybe their forever has to break at some point ‘cause he needs to go.

Once his happiness was a reason for him to grow, now the sadness filled him and became a part of his growth. With every passing minute, he’s getting bigger and bigger and the boy’s hope to keep him away from censorious eyes is getting tinier and tinier.

Another person who looked at them and really saw them. Who figured out their bond with each other and how they’re too close and important to one another. She’s one of the people who have changed and found their eroda.

All fishes who immigrated to Eroda, are travelers trying to find their place in the world. They all wanted to discover themselves, wanted to finally find a hope, a home, a harbor so they ended up at Eroda. The ones who embraced the beauty found themselves in it but the consequences were bad. People killed them from outside and inside and that became a reason for others to hide in dark oceans that far away from those censorious eyes. And that was the reason for the fish’s departure…

Also another person who witnessed their hard times and learnt from it. To smile.

The boy doesn’t want to be left behind by him when finally this place’s beginning to feel like home. But sometimes you need to sacrifice your wishes for the person you love the most in this entire universe. His person saw others who are just like them but with one difference, they were open. And he saw them get punished for their honesty and for their courage by people who are ready to judge and destroy them just with words, simple words of a complicated story. He saw them getting disgusted glances, loud whispers and endless judgement by others. He saw that they were discriminated against for something that should be normal...

And he got scared to be treated like them, like you’re something that should not exist. He’s scared something is going to happen not just to him but to his lovely boy too. That’s why he wanted to leave even If that causes him to worlds.

The boy was desperate about how he’s going to handle the heavy weights he has to carry around. First he needs to let go of him, that’s the heaviest of all and he was alone. But through the moments he’s spent with him, they’ve affected lives more than once. His light that brightened with his arrival, changed people. Give them a chance to find themselves, be aware of who they really are. At the end they’ve found themselves, their own light and their own eroda. The boy helped them through their journey and now they’re helping him with sharing his weights. So the boy isn’t actually alone anymore, there are people who will always support him for who he really is.

With all friendship, dedication, importance, love he’s received from the boy, he grew with happiness; with all aversion, disgust, judgement he’s received from people, he grew with sadness. His emotions are him, the more complicated they got the more he wanted to hide them. He comes to a state where he can’t hide his feelings anymore because they’re too big and heavy to hold. But then he wanted to protect his lover too so he did what he had to do, leave to a place where he could be away from judgmental eyes.

At first his skin was golden, he’s shining like the boy he’s encountered with. Then he shared his skin with other colors because every color, every person, every love deserves equality. At the end he wore his colors with fear ‘cause even the colors could change people’s opinions about you. His colors faded but never disappeared. He’s proud of who he is, he found his eroda here, his love… But first he needs to learn what’s really important to him, people’s opinions about them or his lover’s presence next to him. He needs to learn what he has now but maybe at first he needs to lose it to find it.

‟At that moment, with the entire town united in putting a fish back into the ocean, the clouds broke, the sun shined down on the isle of Eroda, melting every frown into the unmistakable shape… of a whale’s tale.”

The boy lost him because of people who are too afraid to smile, too afraid to embrace themselves or others as a whole, too afraid to look in the eye of bravery. He was heartbroken but then something peculiar happened. The ones who have changed are still standing next to him and smiling. Big and bright. Open and free. Brave...

The sun shined down on the island. A feeling once forgotten by anyone released to space for exploration.

And now the island knows how a smile could make a difference.

‟Maybe one day you’ll see one of Kieran’s paintings in your motel room...”

At first in her painting the sky was misty, the colors were dark and pale, the road which led home was deserted. Then with the boy, her light came alive and dwell in her paintings. Now her painting is reserved, the sky looks so blue, colors are bright and vibrant. The road is full of plants, lush greenery spreading around her with every step she’s taken to go home.

She’s learnt to be bright.

"Kieran means; little dark one or little dark-haired one, produced by appending a diminutive suffix to ciar (black, dark). It is the masculine version of the name Ciara."

Kieran’s representing a person who is dark-haired and good at paintings.

‟...or read an obscure yelp review about diner with the most curious menu...”

She saw two lovers that have gone through a lot of troubles, heartbreaks, break-ups. Also she saw how two people can love each other under pressure, how two souls can line up and complete in one, how one person can make a big difference in your life. And she learnt from these, she learnt and chose to smile to the world. Now she’s happy with what she’s doing, the job she’s loved. And she smiles whatever happens ‘cause at the end the most important thing is her happiness nothing else.

She’s learnt to smile.

She’s representing a person who is always smiling and loves food.

‟...or pass someone in the street in the haircut and think, where on the earth did they get that?”

People were designing their hair styles according to others. Everybody in the town was the same. But sometimes a person’s differences can make a change in others' lives. The girls have listened to whispers that came from the deepest place in their souls. "I don't need all the answers. Feeling good in my skin. I just keep on dancing."

They don’t need all the answers to the questions that are thrown at them, they’re just feeling good with themselves in their skin, body, hair. Because all of these belong to them and the one who has control on it will be them too.

They’ve learnt to embrace difference.

They’re representing a person who changed his style through the years but still proud of who he is.

All of them are the representations of one direction members; Zayn, Niall and Liam. Also his fans, his supporters. The people who have changed with the light of the boy and found who they are, helped the boy to feel safe in return. They created a safe place where the boy just spread his smile wider. And now the boy has a family, a family will always be supportive towards him. He’s feeling loved and safe.

‟Maybe you’ll be invited to a wedding between two neighbors whom it took an ocean to bring together.”

One lover had been searching gold treasures on the ground. One day he came across an invitation, he took it and decided to learn what life will bring to him by this. He went to a place that has written on the paper then met with the person who he’s been searching for from the beginning. He’s found his treasure he had been searching for a long time, a golden. It was like a twist of fate had been made and brought them together.

His lover was too bright, so golden… That made the boy brighter, with his lover’s light, he shined too. His lover was a sun that radiated everywhere and he was a crescent moon that had an insufficient brightness. Day by day he’s been approaching his full form with the power of something bigger than the existence of them, the moon and his sun. When he took its full form, his lover was distant from him like never before. The moon was shining with his full energy meanwhile the sun was fading away from the lack of resistance. It took some time for them to come back to each other again but they’ve never given up on that something bigger. Love. Love won like always...

They’ve learnt to love.

They’re representing the boy and the fish.

"We don’t need no piece of paper from the city hall."

A approve that coming from a person who represents the fans, their supporters is enough for them. They don’t need anyone else’s opinion because the ones who have seen their love, will always be there for them. That’s enough, their love is enough.

‟And who knows maybe one day you’ll find yourself in the isle of Eroda, for each night the local bartender still pours a glass of ale to appease the celtic water spirit shenandoah.”

Someday when you’re ready to shine, when you have the courage to smile, when you embrace your difference and when you understand the definition of love, you can find your own eroda.

It is already in you; on an unexpected day, in an unprecedented location, with peerless semblance it’ll appear to you. And when the appearance’s been made, your ambiguous thoughts will be sweet melodies to an ear that only hear for you.

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."

‟The Boy decided to find out what other wonders awaited him in the world however, he sailed on an odd numbered day, which caused everyone in town to lose their hairs but that’s another story.”

The boy’s purpose had finally been concluded. A regeneration has happened, a reborn of the isle.

No longer, difference isn’t something bad, something brings bad luck. People don’t try to specify themselves as ‘normal’ to bring them good luck ‘cause there isn’t such a thing as normal. Everybody is normal in their own special ways. They aren't afraid to be left in too odd numbered days or act too manly or girly or style their hair too unusually. Now too isn’t something they will be afraid of.

From now on; the island doesn’t know the dark but light, doesn’t know sorrow but happiness, doesn't know disparity but equality. Also they know how a smile could make a difference.

Nevertheless the ones who don’t want to change and showing the same frowning which is referred to as Resting Fish Face, are still here too. However these old-fashioned people lost their hairs like any other things they’ve lost; empathy, courtesy, respect, kindness, heart…. There will be difficulties that they’re going to encounter with and like the people they’ve judged, there will never be a choice for them to choose.

But that’s another story...

And now the boy’s mission is completed. He’ll sail on an odd numbered day or with new understanding on a normal day.

The boy found his eroda and the heart that he completed with. He tasted a sip of love and got drunk by the pleasant flavour. This time two souls got lost but in each other. They’re swinging at the edges of the rainbow; a day with desire red, with enthusiasm orange, with lightness yellow, with acceptance green, with peace blue and with imagination purple. Then stormy weather finally arrived, the sun disappeared from the sky and left his brightness to the moon to enlighten people’s life in the absence of itself. Sentences have been made with bitterness before their separation, "We don't know where we're going but we know where we belong. Wherever I go, you bring me home. You'll bring me home..." With that sun left.

So did the boy, he has got a long journey in front of him. Thousands of lives he’ll be affected, hundreds of cities he'll shine over, tens of friends he’ll have fun with but just one heart he'll belong, forever and ever...

THE END

Thanks for reading, take care yourself xxx

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #harry and louis #adore you #love is equal #love is love #larry is love #larry stylinson #larry #larry theories #larry theory #larry analysis #larry narrative #larry is real #hl

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anybodihearme · 4 years

Text

Mistakes

Eddward shifted his weight and brought his slim hand to rest under his chin.

"That looks real nice, Alice," he finally said. "I think the addition of the pink undertones you added did wonders to bring out the green in her eyes," he smiled. Alice leaned back in her chair and stared at the portrait. A few beats later, she nodded her head along with him.

"I think you're right, honey," she smiled, deepening her laugh lines. Eddward was smiling down at her as he gently gave her shoulder a squeeze when someone behind him started yelling.

"Out of all the pieces!" Joe exclaimed, waving his hands in front of him. "Where the fuck is it?" Eddward and Alice both jumped in their spots at the vulgar term and turned to stare at the seventy-year-old man that was sitting in a chair, by his lonesome, while everyone else in the recreation room worked on their portraits.

Alice patted Eddward's hand and nudged her head in Joe's direction. Giving her a heartfelt smile, Eddward winked at the sixty-three-year-old and crossed the room.

"What seems to be the problem?" Eddward asked, squatting next to Joe. The blue slacks he wore slightly bunched around his calves, making Eddward adjust his weight for better comfort and posture. "Joe?" Eddward called when the old man began to mumble under his breath.

"Out of all the fucking pieces to go missing, it's the center one!" He yelled, waving his hand at the incomplete puzzle in front of him. "I've been working on this all week and the damn piece is missing," he fussed.

"Alright," Eddward said. "It has to be around here somewhere. I'll help you look." Eddward did a quick scan of the floor around them, looking for the lost puzzle piece, and Joe crossed his arms, mumbling to no one but himself. "Here it is," Eddward said when he lifted the box the puzzle came in. "See," he held the piece up for Joe to eye.

"Well I'll be damned," Joe huffed and Eddward chuckled. "Thank you, son." Eddward stood with and looked down at the puzzle Joe was working on. It was a herd of horses running through what he assumed was a field somewhere out in the country. Joe was known for his love of horses and after working at the nursing home for the past year and a half, the horses were starting to grow on Eddward as well.

"This seems to be a record for you," Eddward commented. Joe cocked his bushy eyebrow at the young man. "It usually takes you what, two weeks to complete a puzzle?" Joe nodded. "And you did this one in like four days," Eddward placed his hand on his hip and waved as he nodded. "Looks like you're getting too good at these."

Joe laughed and leaned back in his chair.

"Looks like we might have to get you those two thousand count puzzles," Eddward added as an afterthought.

"Damn skippy," Joe nodded in agreement and Eddward laughed.

The man may be seventy but he had quite the spunk left in him.

"Eddward?" Someone called out making everyone in the room turn and look.

Standing in the doorway, Kevin awkwardly stood, ignoring the stares of every elder in the room for his eyes were trained on one olived tone, blue-eyed, black-haired man.

"Well," Alice snorted followed by a few I can't believe it's and you have to be kidding me's. "You have quite the nerve showing your face around here," Alice finalized all their thoughts as she pointed a bony, wise finger at the redhead.

"It's alright," Eddward said as he crossed the room, not once taking his eyes off the man that ruined his life. "Can I please speak to you in the hall," Eddward asked - more like demanded - once he was in earshot to angrily whisper at the redhead.

"I'm sorry," Kevin said and Eddward snorted, nodding his head towards the hallway.

"You need backup?" Joe asked as he reached for his cane.

"I got it!" Eddward called over his shoulder. "Thank you," he added as he ushered Kevin into the hall.

Once Eddward was sure it was just him and Kevin, he dropped his happy persona and his features turned hard, icy even.

"What the fuck do you want!" Eddward yelled, shoving Kevin with both his hands. "You fucking disappear for three months and not respond to any of my texts or calls!" Eddward shoved Kevin again. "And now you have the audacity to show up at my workplace!" The raven-haired man smacked Kevin's arm. "Get out before I call security!" He shouted.

"Please," Kevin pleaded. "Let me explain."

"Explain what?" Eddward laughed. "How you are a douchebag?" He joked. "I already knew that," he snorted. "I should have swiped left!"

"Eddward, please," Kevin begged, grabbing the smaller man's hands before he could lay it on him once more. "Just listen to me!" Kevin raised his voice, making the smaller man still. "I know I fucked up but please let me explain," he barely whispered as his eyes shone dully in the fluorescent light.

"What do you want Kevin?" Eddward asked. "Wrecking my life and self-confidence wasn't enough for you? Had to come back and finish the job?" Eddward joked poorly as his face scrunched up as if he smelled bad trash.

"I came to say I am sorry," Kevin answered honestly. "I didn't mean to abandon you but I wasn't in a good place to be the boyfriend that you needed me to be," he continued.

Eddward rolled his eyes. He's heard this story time and time again. He wasn't having it.

"Kevin," Eddward said as he snatched his hands out of the other's grip. The conversation wasn't worth his energy. "Go home."

Eddward turned around and began walking back towards the recreation room. He didn't have time to dilly dally around, especially with someone who carelessly tossed him to the side without a second thought. A simple "I'm not interested" would have sufficed. But no, Kevin decided to lead him on and leave him in the wind like all the others. Eddward had more self-respect than that and he wasn't going to put up with being someone's second.

He was tired of it.

"Please, Eddward, " Kevin called as he jogged to catch up to the man that simply didn't understand. Ignoring his pleas, Eddward kept walking until he was in view of the security desk. Raising a slim hand, Eddward motioned for Dereck to come and escort Kevin out of the building. "Eddward," Kevin called as he reached out and grabbed the blue-eyed man's hand with such force that it made him painfully jerk to a stop.

"Let. Me. Go." Eddward threatened. Kevin begged again for Eddward to just give him five minutes but all his pleas fell on deaf ears when Eddward snatched his hand out of Kevin's grasp. "You had the chance to do that months ago. It's over," he said with such finality. "You got what you wanted," he accused. "Go. away."

Kevin took a step forward but was pulled back by strong hands.

Looking over his shoulder, Kevin saw that Eddward indeed called security on him.

"Escort him off the grounds," Eddward said and Dereck nodded. "Make sure he's not allowed back in," Eddward added. "If you see him again, call the cops and have him arrested for trespassing."

Eddward's warning came out more like a promise than a threat and if looks could kill, Kevin would have died a thousand, painful deaths by now.

Kevin squirmed in the other man's grasp, but instead of trying to fight his way towards Eddward, he pulled an envelope out of his pocket.

"Please," he called. "If you won't listen to me then just read this!" He yelled as he tossed the envelope towards Eddward.

Eddward stood in the hall and watched Kevin get dragged away. Not once did his blue eyes leave the green-colored ones he slowly fell in love with. It made his heartache but Eddward refused to let himself get wrapped up in emotions he knew would come back to haunt him. He was done being hurt and this was the last time he swore he would let someone in; however, Eddward couldn't fathom what brought him to bend over and pick up the envelope that was tossed at his feet.

It was quite heavy and the only thing written on it was his name in sloppy penmanship. For a second, Eddward contemplated throwing it in the trash but ultimately decided against it. Somewhere deep down inside, he wanted to know what possessed Kevin to walk out on him to only suddenly reappear months later, especially when everything was going so good.

Nothing about it made sense.

"Everything alright out here?" Joe asked as he walked down the hallway with the assistance of his cane. Eddward looked up and smiled.

"Nothing to worry about," Eddward smiled as he internally flipped his happy switch. Discreetly, he pocketed the envelope and met Joe halfway down the hallway. "Now," Eddward said as he lopped his arm with Joe's. "Let's get a frame for that puzzle."

Read the full collection here or here!

#abhm #stories #eene #kevedd #ed edd n eddy #mistakes

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