statement-of-anonymous-ghost - Tumblr blog

statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 4 months

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Anyone else find it fucking hilarious that the acronym for Gays Against Groomers is LITERALLY GAG

Yes, Honey. The rest of the community IS gagging.

Good job

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 5 months

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no one understands how bad it hurts to be thrown away like you never meant anything at all..

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 9 months

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10 months~

Last august I met you. A radiant glowing boy, with a smile brighter than any star in any galaxy. And from the very first moment, I knew.

I tried to shake the stars out of my eyes, tried to drown the butterflies in my stomach because I was so afraid to fall in love again. My last few loves had left cracks all through my porcelain heart. I slapped at my chest as the cracks began to glow with new love and light, from the broiling hot days at the end of August till the mild sunny days in mid September I fought tooth and nail to stop the feelings that grew stronger each day.

But I lost that fight. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me. September 22nd I asked you to be mine, my heart pounded and I could feel the tears well in my eyes,

I thought rejection was inevitable. But then you told me that you wanted to be mine. And for me to be yours. And I cried

I cried tears of joy and relief and I wanted to reach through the screen all the way to texas to hold you. To kiss you.

Slowly we came to know each other better than anyone else, as Summer drifted into Autumn which flowed into a winter dark and cold.

We held one another and braved through every storm. The ticking clock in January as you waited for me to come out of surgery, droned on like a heartbeat.

You’ve always taken good care of me, and I hope that I make you feel as wonderful as you make me feel.

Happy 10 months to my Love💜💞💍

I love you so so much baby 😚💜💞

#trans guy #emo boy #trans boy #trans ftm #trans #t4t mlm #love poem #lovers #my boy #for my boyfriend #t4t #t4t relationships #love #my poety #original poety #i love him #i love them #i love my boy so much #10 months

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 1 year

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A Sliver of Melancholy

For my long distance love <3~💜

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I miss him

I miss them so much

I’ve only known them through the pixels but the love we share is not fiction

He’s real

And they love me.

But there’s this thorn in my chest

A sliver of melancholy..

I’ve seen his face and heard their voice and fallen in love with a shining smile and green eyes that sparkle like crystal and glow with hints of gold and mossy green warm like sunlight spilling through gaps in foliage of a forest in grasps of the late summer

Yet his soul is crisp and light as the autumn air. Full of colour and wonder, the leaves turning shades to brilliant arrays of vibrant tones like flaming vermillion. Passion found in the blaze of an evening sunset, painting the sky with flashes of deepened coral, violet, and strawberry. The birds sing their evening songs, their heart sings too, as the clouds glow with undertones of berry and blue.

His voice is smooth and soft, silky like feeling you get as you sip hot chocolate on a brisk winter morning, looking out into to the fluffy white snow sparkling in the morning sun. Their laugh is infectious, sugary like fresh clementines. It sends tingles down my spine, like the gentle bite of the citrus hitting my tongue, It is one of my favourite sounds.

I can’t help but smile when I think of him. And yet there is this sword that pierces my heart

A thorn, a shard, a branch that grows,

My blood drips bitter, tart

A sliver of melancholy,

For my love and I are apart.

Not by choice, but just by chance, our wired heartstrings pull and dance

They hold to strong to tear and shred-

But here we lay in separate beds, in separate towns, beyond borders, lined and fenced.

Someday soon, my prince will come, on silver wings to break the screen, shatter the glass, and unite our souls as one

But for now,

My heart bleeds black with inky blood

A sliver of melancholy..

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Longing for the pull that brings you home to me,

my darling

Forever yours💞

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 1 year

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If I was falling, would you catch me?

Cause I’m headed straight for the floor darling,

Plummeting from the bottom of a deep black sea, and drowning in azure skies.

Clinging to ferns that whisper in wind swept meadows to prevent my drop into the vast emptiness that is the vacuum of a starless sky at midnight

Even as push through the thick layer of rolling cloud, like an ocean of storm, I see not one light.

The silence is deafening and the void is hungry,

A swirling hurricane of everything and yet nothing at all. There is no eye of the storm, no calm hollow patch to rest my battered, broken body.

But then I can hear you calling my name, grabbing at my wrists, pulling me safely back to where I belong.

Where the fire cannot burn me, and the blade cannot seek to sever what powers my clockwork heart

An angle wrapped in violet flame, melting the fear from my mind like candle wax.

You always know how to mend what is broken,

To soothe what is aching,

To cure what is sick,

And to light what is blackened by shadow.

I hope that I do the same for you, and that you know you have a place to rest your weary soul at the end of the day.

I will catch you if you fall.

So if you feel yourself begin to slip, do not fear the impact.

I would never allow your flame to falter against the winter winds. Nor allow their echo to reach your soul again

So Once the battle is over, and once the war is won,

When the storm has calmed and the furious tide has retreated,

May my final resting place be in your arms, and may yours be in mine.

Safe at last

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 1 year

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A letter to the boy I love

Dear J,

My Darling

You have truly no idea what you mean to me.

You’re the light that carries me through the dark, the blood in my veins, the colour in my world

You’re the reason why my heart beats, and why I bother to get up in the morning

Dear J,

I know you cannot see how perfect and wonderful you are.

I know they’ve taken every ounce of confidence from you. Every feeling of worth. I know how you see yourself, my dear.

And I’m sorry.

You deserve so much better than that. You’re such a beautiful soul. My Angel. My sunrise. Please do not trust their words. Instead trust mine, and let me guide you through the night.

I wish I could hold you in my arms, my sweet boy.

I wish I had the power to erase all of the pain from you.

But for now just close your eyes and pretend I am there with you, holding you close to my chest and telling you it’s going to be okay.

Dear J,

You know I have so much fear

Of losing you

Of being alone

Of the darkness that swells around my body as I lay in an empty bed

Of being too much

Of not being enough

Darling, you have helped so much to help me heal from my past and melt away my fears. You make me feel so safe and I know that I can trust you with my mind, my body, my heart, and my soul.

You have always protected me.

Thank you

Dear J,

Please know that know matter what happens, what the weather, what the hour

You can come to me darling

You can tell me all of your aches and your pains

Your worries and your fears

All of your anxiety, depression, trauma and dysphoria

And I will help you to ease them my dear

You’re safe with me

Always and forever

And I will never be angry with you. Or upset. And you could never hurt me darling.

Everything’s okay

We’ll get through the dark together

Dear J,

I’m sorry you have to be so very far from home my dear, but I promise one day you’ll be safe in my arms where I can protect you and keep you out of harms way.

You’ll come home soon darling

I promise

I’m sorry

I know it’s cold and empty where you are

It’s cold and empty here too

Dear J,

I love you

So much my darling

More than words can say

More than I can express

I hope you know that

Sincerely,

-S

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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I want to shout it

Scream it

Shake him through the screen

How does he not see it?

I thought I was being obvious

How does he not know?

Would it be good if he did?

Probably not.

But I want to tell him.

Only, it would never work out

#trans guy #emo boy #trans boy #trans ftm #transgender #trans #lgbtq+#gay ftm #ftm mlm #ftm t4t #t4t nwlnw #yearning #gay crush #oblivious

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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I wanna make out with someone so bad right now

Our body pressed up against eachother

Our lips colliding feverishly, an unquenchable hunger

Moving to the beat of our heartbeats

Skin touching skin

Man I’m touch starved

#trans guy #emo boy #trans boy #trans ftm #transgender #trans #trans t4t #trans mlm #make out #kiss #gay kiss #gay ftm #gay crush #gay #lgbtq+#lowkey horny #kiss me

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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I choked back your cherry love bomb.

It tasted like heaven,

But it burned like hell.

Cyanide daydreams turned to bitter, love-sick dizzy spells,

And I fell,

I fell for it all.

For your lies as rose-coloured, heart-shaped glasses blurred my vision, and hid your blood red truths

I feel for you. And it burns like whiskey in the wound.

But the fire tastes like you.

And the more you pull away, the more I feel my veins, they slide out of my body like worms as you rip them from their life source, cut the big red ribbon and watch the light flood out of my eyes with no remorse

Drown me in your salt, kill me with your stare I don’t care, but please don’t leave my body there, I’m not prepared to face the sunlights stinging glare

I’m hungover from your love,

My heads pounding, and I’m shivering and I feel like throwing up,

Going through this withdrawal just as if you were a drug

And in a way,

You kind of were.

Because I was addicted to the red. Addicted to the pain. Addicted to the venom coursing through my veins.

It turned the world the most brilliant shade of red.

Red like the blood that drips and oozes off of my necrotic body, red like the searing pain in my chest, red like a rose against freshly fallen snow.

I choked back your cherry love bomb.

It tasted like cough syrup.

But it didn’t heal me.

It poisoned me with lies, and then hit me with the truth.

I was never good enough for you.

But the memory of our love,

Is bitter sweet and glowing red

Like cherries..

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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#old car #stairs #photography #aesthetic #pretty #cool #nighttime #trans guy #emo boy #trans boy #trans ftm #transgender #trans #lgbtq+#queer artist #old cars #car #cars #antique

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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TW: Needles, Syringes, Pills

Something I drew today. I’m hoping to go to art school after my gap year. I want to be a tattooist and piercer. Sorry about the semi crappy photo quality.

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statement-of-anonymous-ghost · 2 years

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I just want a pretty boy.

A boy with dew in his hair and light in his eyes bathed in the soft colourful hue of stardust,

A boy who smells of rain and of smoke, of herb and of rum, the aroma of him could cling to any coat and I would adore it

A boy who dances under the moonlit sky and sleeps in the tallest trees, his body an array of perfect imperfections that tell the story of him, a boy made from honey and silk, from bullets, and blades, and crystals and silt, the sands in his hourglass merely the ashes of an ever burning violet flame, the beating heart of starlit soul

I need a boy who like me has a barbed wire soul, a haunted house mind, and a past dark as coal, because perhaps then he might understand why I tremble and flinch at the raise of a hand

A boy who’s soul is like mine, a bat in a cage told “without feathers, a bird cannot fly” with wounds on his chest held together with twine, violet blood mixing with mine.

And his tongue burns like whiskey and vodka and gin, a brighter new world to lose myself in, much the same as his eyes like the richest of pools, vast but not empty, brisk but not cool.

I just want to be in love again, and find these features in a new boy or perhaps 2 in the end.

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In non-poetic terms I’m lonely and touch starved and queer.

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