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#5sos in your living room
scuderiahoney · 7 days
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Every Second
charles leclerc x reader
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summary: the world is ending. you’re right where you belong. 2.6k words
warnings: major character death (apocalypse au, everyone dies), charles & reader have a daughter, talks of death/afterlife/end of the world, it’s mostly sad not gonna lie
a/n: had this idea a LONG time ago, finally finished it today. loosely based on the music video for Older by 5SOS. see also: Till Forever Falls Apart by Ashe & FINNEAS and I Know The End by Phoebe Bridgers. you get the vibes.
The world is on fire.
For once, you mean that literally. You’ve been saying it for years, in reference to politics and pollution and the general temperature of the planet. But now, the world is literally on fire.
Charles is pacing laps around the whole apartment. He’s unable to sit still, even now. The tv is on, the volume low, photos flashing by on the screens. There’s a countdown, ticking along at the bottom of the newscast, telling you exactly how many minutes you have left before the whole thing falls apart. You’re not sure how they seem to know. You won’t take the time to find out.
The next time Charles walks by you, you reach out and grab the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He stops in his tracks, and your fingers brush against his skin. He doesn’t look at you, hasn’t for hours. He stared at the ceiling, now. He’s angry, you can tell. It’s eating him up inside.
“Amour,” you say, calmly, quietly. “You will wear a path in the carpet.”
The irony of what you’ve just said doesn’t hit you until he lets out a bitter laugh. You realize, then, that by tomorrow there will be no carpet. There will be nobody to see the path he’s worn. Everything around you will cease to exist.
It’s funny, the end of the world. It doesn’t feel like you thought it would, though you’re not sure you spent much time devoted to the thought. You had worries, sure, but they always seemed so distant.
“We should wake her,” he says, voice thick with emotion. “I want… every second.”
“Okay,” you agree. “Okay, I’ll get her.”
“No. Not- I’ll go with you,” he says, twisting his hand to grab yours, then repeating, “I want every second.”
You stand up from the couch. He keeps your hands linked as he follows you to your daughter’s room. She’s asleep in the crib, barely one year old, head full of dark curls and a smile that bears his dimples. She looks peaceful. For a moment, you hate to disturb her. It’s the last time you’ll pull her from her crib. You understand, now, why he wanted to come with.
Charles walks over, reaches in with one arm, and scoops her up. It’s only then that his eyes meet yours, as he cradles her to his chest. The two of them make such a perfect picture. You’ve seen it before, after races when he’s tired and sweaty but always wanting to hold her, when he gets back from long trips and she clings to him for hours, when he gets her up in the morning and brings her to your room to wake you up.
He swallows tightly as she shifts in his arm, pressing her tiny round cheek to his neck. You tug on his hand, lead him back out to the living room. He squeezes so hard you think your fingers might fall off.
It won’t be long now before your daughter is fully awake. She’s already beginning to wiggle slightly, her eyelids fluttering. You don’t dare to try and let go of Charles, but you head for the kitchen and start warming up a bottle for her.
It’s what you’d do any day. It’s odd, because the apocalypse is breathing down your neck but your baby still needs to be fed. Other things, you’ve chosen to neglect- the trash will stay in the overflowing can in the kitchen. The mail will go unopened, bills unpaid. There’s a layer of dust on the fireplace mantle that will stay there until the mantle itself ceases to exist. You warm up your daughter’s bottle, though, and try to listen to the sound of the microwave instead of the sound of your husband’s crying.
She’s awake, now, and tugging at your hair with tiny fingers. Charles untangles your hands and wraps his arm around your waist instead, uses it to pull you into his chest. His grip is so tight it would almost be claustrophobic on any other day. Today, if you could melt yourself into one person with him, you would.
The microwave beeps, and you both jump. You grab the bottle, turn to your husband, your daughter. She’s yawning, her head on his chest, her hand still caught in your hair. She doesn’t know. She won’t ever know. There are so many things she won’t get to learn. You’ve dreamt of this your whole life- of love, a family, people to call your own and a home to spend your life in with them. In the end, your time has been so short lived. There are only so many minutes left. The clock on the TV counts down, and your chest aches with every second. You will lose them today.
Charles seems to sense your train of thought. He leads you back to the couch in the living room. He half sits, half lays with your daughter, legs up on the sofa, and holds his other arm out for you. She’s beginning to fuss, because she’s hungry- the most simple of human predicaments. When you sit down, he pulls you into his chest, to face him, your back to the tv. Even on the last day, he will try to shelter you. He curls his arms around you and your daughter while you hold the bottle to her mouth.
“My girls,” he says, voice barely a whisper. “My beautiful girls.”
You’d thought, when you had gotten pregnant, that Charles would want it to be a boy. A mini him, someone to teach karting and racing and follow in his footsteps. But before you even found out, he’d been insistent it was a girl, that she was going to be just like you, that he was going to be wrapped around her finger, same as he was around yours. And when she was born, his dark hair and your eyes and the tiniest fingers you’d ever seen, Charles had bawled his eyes out, holding her in his arms, pressing sweet kisses to your forehead.
He’d been so excited, told you all of his plans. There’d been days on the boat with her, days in the water, days at races with giant headphones to protect her ears. Her father had doted on her and loved her, had talked about her every chance he got. She was going to grow up with all the love the world could possibly have to offer and then some, surrounded by it, bathed in it.
It’s not fair. You’ve had years to live, you’ve gotten to be your own person, but she’ll never get that chance. You suddenly feel short of breath, chest tight, heart racing. Charles feels it and wraps his arm tighter around you. You stare at your daughter’s face, her tiny eyelashes, the little slope of her nose. She deserves so much more time. You rub your finger over her cheek as she drinks the bottle.
“S’not fair,” you mutter, blinking back tears.
“I know,” he says, murmuring the words against your forehead. “It’s not.”
There’s so much more you could say, but the words won’t come. How do you put that into words? The terrifying, all consuming fear of what is coming. There’s no stopping it now. Maybe it’s not worth dwelling on.
“You know,” you say with a sniffle. “She’ll never have to be afraid.”
Charles nods. “Nobody will ever hurt her.”
You reach out and hold her hand, her tiny fingers in yours. Her skin is so soft, unmarred by the world. She will never face heartbreak. She will never lose anyone. She will never have to worry. She’ll also never make her first friend, or have her first love, or her first job or first car, or… the nevers pile up and weigh heavy on your chest. The whole weight of the world is on you.
You press your cheek to Charles’ chest and let the tears flow. It’s silly to hide it. He holds onto you tightly.
There can’t be much time left, now. You can feel the seconds slipping away like grains of sand through your fingers. You have this uncontrollable urge to kneel on the ground and try to scoop them all up. The bits and pieces of your life together with him. You want to hold it all close to your chest, try and shelter it from the impact.
“The wine,” Charles says. “The wedding wine.”
You’d saved a bottle. It was meant to be opened on your tenth anniversary. It’s in the cupboard in the kitchen, a white bow around the neck, a label with a photo of the two of you custom printed by a friend. You’ve been married for three years now. At the time, ten years had felt so far away. Now it slips through the gaps in the cupped hands of your heart.
Charles passes your daughter into your arms and stands up. You cradle her to your chest and press your lips to the top of her head. You whisper to her, remind her how much she’s loved, how much you care for her. Charles returns with the bottle and two glasses, and the corkscrew you’d been gifted as a wedding present. You try not to dwell on it, try not to think about his brothers giving it to you, engraved with your new last name and with a note to accompany it- When you argue, or feel sad, or happy, or anytime, stop and share a bottle of wine together.
You take their advice- of all the times to take it, now feels like your best bet, though you’ve lived by little things like that your whole relationship. When Charles was gone for extended time periods for races, he always returned with a special bottle of wine, always made sure to set aside his first day back just for you, and eventually, for your daughter too. It was one of the things that bothered him most, he’d told you- he never felt like he had enough time. Stretched too thin between all the things and people he loved, everything that’s important to him. He pours you a glass of wine and hands it to you, and you wait while he pours his own. You clink the glasses together and take a sip. It tastes the same as it did on your wedding night, and fresh tears fill your eyes. All your family and friends, there to celebrate the two of you, and now it all comes to an end.
There are picture frames on the wall behind the couch. You stare at them, the tears in your eyes blurring the photographs, but you know what you’d find there. The wedding photo, when he’d kissed you for the first time as your husband. There’s the photo of the two of you on his first day at Ferrari, smiling bright and wide and happy and not having any idea how important you’d become to each other. There are family photos- just the three of you, and ones with your extended families, too. There are landscapes from your vacations together, pictures of you with friends out at parties, your whole lives, hanging up on the wall. All the photos will be destroyed, soon, along with the rest of the world.
Your daughter is dozing off against your chest. You turn to try and take a peek at the countdown on the screen, but before you can, Charles grabs your head and holds, firmly. It can’t be long now. Sometime this morning, just after sunrise, you think they said on the news last night. There’s sun filtering in through the curtains. Your breath gets caught in your chest. The dawn of a new day, of the very last day.
“Hey, hey,” he murmurs, lips against your forehead. “Don’t panic.”
“The world is ending, Charles,” you choke out, voice frantic. “We- we’re going to-“
“I know,” he mumbles. He knits his fingers with yours, right on top of your daughter’s back. “I know. Stay with me. Feel me? Feel her breathing? Just stay right here, my love. You are safe here.”
You’re not, you’re the least safe here that you’ve ever been, but you know what he’s trying to say. You feel the soft rise and fall of her back beneath your hand, feel the way he squeezes your fingers. Stay here. Stay with me. You take a deep breath against his neck, wondering if you can breathe in enough of him that he’ll be a part of you forever. Forever. What does forever even mean, now?
“It’s not enough,” you mutter. “It wasn’t enough time. We deserved more time.”
He nods, and when he speaks, his voice sounds raw. “It wasn’t. We did. But it never would have been enough, my love.”
“If you had more time,” you start, and you hear him choke on a sob. “What would you do with it?”
He’s quiet for a moment. There’s a million different options, a million different answers, a million things still left to do. You wonder if he’s thinking of the same thing as you, though.
“I would spend it right here,” he says, and you fall to pieces. “Right here, with you in my arms, and our daughter with us, and I would tell you how you are the love of my life and- and how I will find you, in the next life, and we will spend forever together. Over and over and it will never be enough,” he sniffles, his tears falling against your forehead.
“Give me a million more years, and I would like to spend them all with you,” you tell him, voice thick with your tears. “Every second.”
There’s a loud noise from somewhere outside. Your heart should be racing, but it isn’t. Charles wraps you up closer, pulling you around your daughter, trying to cradle both of you in his arms. This is it. If there’s anywhere you’d want to spend your last moments, this is the place.
“I will see you soon, my love,” he says into your skin.
Neither of you are religious, and you haven’t talked about your thoughts on the afterlife in any serious sense, but in that moment, you believe it, and you know he does too.
“Nothing could ever keep me away. We said forever,” he adds.
“I love you, Charlie,” you say, leaning up to kiss him. “Forever and ever.”
As the world falls apart around you, you bury your face in his neck and let it happen. There’s nothing you can do, now, except spend every second with him, with your daughter. All the seconds you have left.
…..
The Ferrari factory is bright and shiny, full of people who stare in awe. They have a new driver today, a new prodigy who’s meant to bring victory back to Maranello. You’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of it, by the people staring, by the buzzing underneath your skin. It’s too much, but you can’t back out now. You’re being lead through the crowd, and you hope you don’t look as terrified as you feel.
“Oh, and this,” your new team principal says, “is Charles. Your race engineer. You’ll be working very closely together.”
Charles turns around, eyes already sparkling. He grins, a dimple divoting his cheek. He’s cute. He gives you a warm feeling in your chest, like something familiar. When he shakes your hand, you swear you feel a spark. You’ve never met him, you’re almost sure, but it feels like you know him, or maybe, like you used to. It’s the strangest feeling, but it’s a comfort in this sea of strangers.
“Welcome to Ferrari,” he says, and it’s the millionth time you’ve heard it today but you could cry, still. For some reason, it means more coming from him. “You’re going to love every single second.”
Taglist: @4-mula1 @celestialams @struggling-with-delia @lovekt @i-wish-this-was-me @forzalando @iloveyou3000morgan @callsign-scully @arian-directioner @racingheartsposts @sakuramxchii @mynamejeff5 @c-losur3 @casperlikej
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wlntrsldler · 1 month
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poisoned mercury | close as strangers (post chb)
a/n: okayyyy so i didn't give them an angst ending but i had to give into the angst monster at least once for this series so here's a bonus chapter for poisoned mercury. miscommunication galore. long distance is hard! two dumbasses in love!
song: close as strangers by 5sos
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"i'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?" luke whispered, trying not to wake his bandmates up. the tour bus was large enough to house them while they were on the road, but it didn't really give the privacy he hoped for. chris was just across the narrow walkway from him and luke could hear his soft snores through the thin curtain that separated them. 
luke felt his heart hammering in his chest when you didn't reply to him. he could still hear your breaths through the phone and you were just talking to him a second ago, so he knew you were still awake. you both had equally busy lives which meant that your phone calls were getting shorter and shorter each day. luke knew it was because you were booked with school and tournaments for field hockey and he was always exhausted after each meeting now that the band was working on their second album. luke knew all of this, but it didn't stop him from missing you. he was lucky to get a ten-minute call with you nowadays. 
"baby?" he tried again, chewing on his bottom lip. he turned to face the ceiling of his bunk, the light from his phone casting a shadow on his face as he waited for you to say something. anything. "can i call you tomorrow?" 
you sighed, "i don't know, luke. i have a busy day. it's a travel game tomorrow so i don't know if i'll be up late." 
"oh," he cleared his throat, trying to hide his disappointment. he felt a little stupid that there were tears pooling in his eyes. so you can't talk tomorrow, it shouldn't be a big deal, right? except that luke felt like you were pulling away from him. little by little. and he didn't know how to stop it. it wasn't like he could drop everything to show up at your doorstep and fix things with you. if it was up to him, he would do it in a heartbeat, but you'd probably get mad at him for it, for abandoning his responsibilities as the lead singer of the most popular band in the world. not to mention the boys would be livid and mr. d and his mom would be equally furious. 
"sorry, maybe next week?" 
"yeah, sure," he replied, thankful that you weren't on facetime tonight. he didn't want you to see his face. "alright, i'll let you get some rest. go kill it tomorrow. g'night, five star." 
"goodnight," you said, ending the call as soon as the last syllable left your lips. 
luke groaned quietly, tossing his phone on the foot of his bed. he knew long distance was going to be difficult. it's been months since he last saw you, months since he was at camp half blood, sleeping in your bed and waking up to the feeling of your lips peppering kisses on his face. maybe he shouldn't have gotten so attached so fast, but it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter. 
he got out from his bunk, tucking his feet into his slippers and made his way to the living room area of the bus. he sat on the couch, peering out the window to watch the empty roads ahead. they were on their way to nashville to meet with a producer that mr. d recommended. the second album was almost done, but it was missing something and none of them wanted to put out a record that didn't meet their expectations. 
mr. d was already in tennessee waiting for them. he'd flown in from houston a few days ago with luke's mom and the rest of the poisoned mercury team while the boys were in atlanta for a movie premiere. they decided that a road trip was needed to de-stress after the glitz and buzz of the red carpet. it was nice to have some alone time with the boys. in their tour bus, luke felt like they were back in connecticut, just four friends fucking around, writing music, and eating junk food until their stomachs hurt. 
he turned on the tv, switching to some random channel that he wasn't paying attention to. he just needed some noise to drown out his thoughts, but that didn't seem to work. all he could think of was you, his five star, and how much he missed you. luke wondered if you were having second thoughts about this whole thing. maybe he'd been too optimistic about things; maybe you weren't on the same page as he was; maybe you realized that it was too difficult to be with him. 
a shiver ran down his spine as he spiraled into his thoughts. admitting to himself that something was wrong between the two of you left a bitter taste in his mouth because he didn't want to believe it. he saw you as his endgame, like nobody else in the world could compare to you, and to think that you may not feel the same about him... well, it was a difficult pill to swallow.
he wondered if he came on too strong, showed his cards too early, and seemed too clingy and lovestruck before it was deemed appropriate. you'd only been together, officially at least, for four months, most of which were long distance, but luke knew he was a goner for you way before that. 
he silently cursed as the chill of the december air hit his skin. he should've worn a hoodie. he grabbed the small throw blanket draped over the armchair and placed it around his shoulders. he wished he got to see you over thanksgiving break because maybe you two wouldn't be in this rocky situation right now, but your coach ordered you and clarisse to stay on campus over break to sharpen your skills since you missed summer training. luke and chris were less than pleased with the idea, but they knew it was out of their control. 
luke fell asleep on the couch that night after succumbing to the tiredness in his body. the sun was beginning to rise by the time his eyelids fluttered shut. he hoped that he'd wake up to a text from you, but when he woke up to the sound of the bus screeching to a halt in nashville, he realized it was the hope that kills. 
-
“are you guys going to the fall concert?” silena asked, poking her head out of the bathroom. she was part of the planning committee for the unc fall semester concert and she’d been stressing over the logistics of it for weeks. 
“lena, if we even tried to miss it, you’d kill us,” clarisse chuckled, putting on a coat of mascara. “you’ve been talking about this since we got back.” 
the three of you were getting ready in your dorm. you and clarisse were roommates this year, thank gods for athlete privileges, and silena lived in the building next door in a single since she was an ra. how she had the time to be an ra, be a member of the music festival planning committee, and be a full-time student was truly beyond your comprehension. 
“lena, calm down. it’ll be good,” you squeezed her shoulders as you passed by behind her, grabbing your lipgloss from the counter. “and even if it sucks, half the people in the crowd are either drunk or high or both and will probably not remember it.” 
“true,” she snorted, curling the final piece of her hair. she unplugged her hair curler and gave herself one last look in the mirror, “i’ll see you guys there? i gotta go make sure shit didn’t hit the fan.” 
you and clarisse nodded as silena said her goodbyes. you dabbed on some lipgloss, glancing down at your phone every few seconds. clarisse side-eyed you, unable to hide her smile, “you waitin’ for a text?” 
“shut up,” you rolled your eyes at her teasing tone. she didn't really know that your relationship was a little muddy at the moment. you weren’t the best at talking about your feelings and it felt wrong to talk about your relationship drama when clarisse and chris seemed to be going strong. “they’re supposed to land in los angeles ten minutes ago.” 
“their flight probably got delayed, y/n,” she replied, “happens all the time.” 
“no, i know, but just wanna make sure they’re safe, y’know?” 
clarisse crossed her arms over her chest, “they’re safe or he’s safe?” 
you ignored her question, opting to busy yourself with the weather app on your phone to avoid any follow-up questions, “how are you not checking your phone for a text from chris right now?” 
she shrugged, “he always knocks out on long flights so i don’t expect a text until he gets to their hotel.” 
“how are you and chris, by the way? i know we live together and shit, but i feel like we haven’t gotten to talk about it in detail since we’re always so tired from school and practice.” 
“we’re good,” clarisse hummed, “just miss him loads, though. i haven’t seen him since we left camp– what? four, almost five, months ago?” 
you were in the same boat, kind of. you and luke hadn’t seen each other in months and you were getting antsy. they’d been on the road for the past few months, meeting with producers and fulfilling their contractual obligations. they hadn’t been in a set location long enough for you to be able to fly out to see luke, even just for a weekend. 
at first, there were movie dates where you’d order each other food and eat and watch the movie on facetime together. there were weekly phone calls and daily texts, but nothing compares to the real thing. being with luke in person was something that you were craving. camp half blood spoiled you with having him all for yourself and now that you were back in school and he’s out in the world, it was beginning to weigh on you. 
you missed him. a lot. 
you missed kissing him and feeling his lips break out into a smile when you’d mumble something stupid. you missed feeling his arms around you, hugging you from behind while you got ready for the day. you even missed waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of him scribbling random lyrics on pieces of scrap paper he found in your room when he slept over. 
long distance is hard and sure, luke wouldn’t be the type to cheat or do anything to jeopardize your relationship, but it still didn’t stop a knot from forming in your stomach every time a picture of him or the band popped up on your social media with a gorgeous singer, actor, or model that they ran into on the red carpet. what if he realizes one day that he wants someone who lives the same life as him? wild and adventurous, not tied down by school or sports? 
a part of you felt silly for being so insecure about things. it was too early in the relationship to have this conversation, isn’t it? you knew that your avoidance of the topic was starting to affect your relationship with luke, as much as you wished it didn’t, but what if the minute you voice your concerns, he’ll realize that being with you was more than he bargained for? after all, you weren’t the same five star with all the time in her hands, care-free, and relaxed that he met at camp. there was a chance that luke would call it quits on this if you said anything and it felt like too big of a risk to take. 
your phone buzzed on the counter, indicating a text.
from: luke <3 
‘landed and jetlagged. gonna sleep for a few. enjoy the concert babe!’ 
you hearted the message and slipped your phone into your back pocket after sending him a quick goodnight text. the three dots popped up for a second, then in a blink, they disappeared. read at 8:43 pm. 
“you ready?” 
you snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of clarisse’s voice. you nodded and grabbed your small purse before heading out the door. you ran into a group of your teammates who were heading to the amphitheater across campus for the concert. the walk seemed to fly by as they cracked jokes and shared stories about random things. you stayed silent for the most part, only laughing along when it seemed like the right time, but your mind was somewhere else. your mind was in los angeles. 
by the time you got to the venue, you and clarisse separated from the group to enter the vip tent, courtesy of silena. a small crowd was beginning to form in front of the stage, taking up the grassy field. charlie was already at the tent, sipping on an ipa when he saw the two of you. his face broke out into a wide smile, giving you and clarisse a quick hug before leading you to the seats he saved. 
“season’s looking promising for you guys, charlie,” you commented, accepting the high noon he offered. “the team’s looking good out there.” 
“thanks,” he beamed, “don’t think we’re on the level of national champs just yet like you guys, but we’re trying!” 
“you guys are doing great,” clarisse chimed in, “the energy in the stadium is electric this year. makes me love college.” 
“are you telling me the papers and tests aren’t what makes you love college, la rue?” charlie teased. 
she snorted, “oh yeah, because i just love staying up until 1 am writing a paper on greek mythology for classics 101.”
the three of you fell into a comfortable conversation about the class you were all taking. it was a prerequisite class that most athletes choose to take because the professor was flexible with deadlines when it came to athletes. it was helpful especially when a team has to play beyond their season for tournaments or championships. about ten minutes before the opening act got on stage, silena rushed into the tent.
“guys, please you need to come with me. i need your help,” she said frantically. she was nervously tugging on her ‘staff’ badge around her neck, already halfway out of the tent as she waited for the three of you to follow her. “please, it’s an emergency.” 
“woah, lena, what’s going on?” you asked, getting up to comfort her. you followed her through the crowd, grabbing clarisse’s hand to keep her close. 
silena shook her head, continuing her march through the sea of people, “just come with me, i’ll explain when we get backstage.” 
you and clarisse looked at each other, feeling bad for silena. she put in her blood, sweat, and tears into this concert and you knew that she would beat herself up over it if something went wrong. silena always put her all into the projects she’s passionate about, but sometimes things outside of her control happen and unfortunately, she blames herself for it. 
in the whirlwind of ‘excuse me’s’ and ‘sorry’s’, the four of you managed to make your way backstage. it was chaotic. people were running around everywhere making sure everything was set for the opening act. the girl who was opening the concert was waiting by the wings, her guitar strapped across her chest as she took some deep breaths. the crowd wasn’t full yet, but you knew that if you were in that position, you’d still be sweating buckets. going out there on stage to perform for strangers was nerve-racking. you didn’t know how luke did it. you admired that about him. 
“lena, are you gonna tell us what’s going on?” clarisse questioned, picking up the pace of her steps to match silena. 
silena stopped in front of a door, slowly turning to face you and clarisse. suddenly, her stressed facade faded as she twisted the doorknob, “why don’t you see for yourself?” 
if you weren’t so confused about what was going on, you would’ve seen charlie lift his can up to his lips to hide his smile at how proud he was of his girlfriend for her acting skills. when the door opened, your heart stopped. 
luke was here. 
he stood in the middle of the room beside chris with a nervous smile on his face. he was wearing a black leather jacket on top of a white tank top and black pants. his poisoned mercury chain hung from his neck, shining under the overhead lights. his hands were stuffed in his front pockets, shy and timid, as he waited for your reaction. 
clarisse screamed when it hit her that chris was actually here. she ran to him and nearly tackled him to the floor. chris wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and laughed as she giggled into his neck. the two of them shared a heartfelt reunion before rushing out of the room to get some privacy. the sound of the door shutting behind you made you blink.
luke cleared his throat, right hand scratching the back of his neck, “hey, five star.” 
the nickname brought you back to your senses. you ran to him, engulfing him in a tight hug with an ‘umph.’ at first, luke was tense under your touch, unsure if you’d be happy with his surprise, but quickly, he melted into you. he buried his face in the crook of your neck, sighing in content as your familiar scent surrounded him. he felt sparks coursing through his veins as you hugged him tighter and all he could think about was how good it felt to have you in his arms again. his mind was still reeling at your reaction. he didn’t expect you to run to him like this, especially not when it felt like you’d been avoiding his calls over the last few weeks. 
“what are you doing here?” you asked him, pulling away to hold his face in your hands. your eyes twinkled as you raked over his face, still in disbelief that he was actually in front of you. “you’re supposed to be in la.”
luke couldn’t stop the lopsided smile on his face, “well, i lied? we were in nashville recording with your dad and he mentioned that he didn’t schedule a session for us this weekend in case me and chris wanted to take a trip to north carolina, so here we are.” 
you ran your thumbs over his cheekbones, whispering, “here you are.” 
“god, i missed you so much,” he said, voice breaking. “you have no idea how hard it’s been.” 
you gulped, your hold on his face faltering a bit. if luke wasn’t on edge, he wouldn’t have noticed the falter in your step, but he felt the slight hesitation in your actions. your warm touch slowly peeled away from his face and he instantly regretted saying those words. here he goes being clingy again. he removed his hands from your waist, clearing his throat. he sat on the couch, motioning for you to sit beside him. he tried to keep his hands to himself when you left a space between the two of you. 
“i still can’t believe you’re really here,” you said, staring at him. you wanted to lean over and hold him in your arms again, but there was a weird tension in the air that made you feel queasy. “i feel like i’m dreaming right now.” 
“i hope you’re not mad that i’m here,” luke looked down at his lap, flexing his hands. he had to keep his hands busy or else he’d surely reach for yours and he didn’t want to come on too strong. he had to keep his distance. he didn’t want to scare you off any more than he already did. “there was just an opening in the schedule and i-i wanted to see you.” 
“i’m not mad at all.” 
“good, good,” he replied. silence. he forced himself to look up from his lap, twisting his body to face you. he bit his bottom lip, trying to build up the courage to ask his next question. “are we okay?” 
“we’re okay.” 
“okay because i feel like things have been different between us lately,” he pursed his lips, looking at you with sad eyes. his tongue poked out the corner of his lips, eyes darting between you and the wall behind you. “i don’t know. i feel like we haven’t talked in ages, y’know? and i know you’re busy and you have a great life here that i’m not really a part of, but uh, i wanna be, y’know? i don’t know much about school or field hockey, but it’s important to you and you’re important to me so i wanna hear about it.” 
he was met with more silence. luke continued, “maybe i’m asking for too much when i ask you to let me be a part of this life, but uh, i miss you? and i just feel like i’m losing you and that’s the last thing i want. so you gotta give me something, five star. tell me what i can do to be better.” 
“if you need me to back off, i’ll do it, you know? you call the shots. you tell me what you need from me, and i’ll do it, okay? i just– i can’t lose this. i don’t wanna lose you,” luke mumbled. “maybe this is all in my head too. i don’t know anymore.” 
you shuddered, lip quivering, “i feel like i’m holding you back.” 
“what?” 
“come on, luke,” you flicked away the tear that trickled down your cheek, “you’re out there in the world doing what you love. meeting new people. living your life and i don’t want to hold you back from that. we met each other when i didn’t have all these responsibilities and who i was at camp is not who i am here and i know you love those impromptu adventures and trips and spontaneity. a-and i can’t give that to you.” 
“you deserve someone who can live this life with you and i’m stuck here for two more years, luke. i can’t do that,” it was getting hard to breathe. your throat felt like it was closing up, cutting off your airflow. you’d been putting off this conversation for weeks. it didn’t feel right to talk about this over the phone, and you thought that you had a few more weeks to figure out what to say to him when you saw him for winter break, but he was here now. “you deserve more than facetime calls and text messages, and that’s all i can offer.” 
“is this–” he paused, licking his lips. “is this not what you want anymore?” 
“what?” 
“this, us? is this just not what you want anymore?” 
an involuntary laugh escaped you as you wiped under your eye, “castellan, i don’t think i could stop wanting you even if i wanted to. and you know when we first met, i really wanted to.” 
luke moved closer to you, just an inch or two, trying to gauge your reaction. you didn’t move away, which he took as a good sign, “i’m confused. why do you sound like you want to end this then?” 
“i don’t want you to settle for this,” you sighed, “i know what you deserve and it isn’t this.” 
“bullshit.” 
you furrowed your eyebrows, looking at him in disbelief, “what?” 
“i’m sorry, five star, but that’s bullshit,” a small smile was tugging on his lips. he reached over to place a hand over yours. his fingers traced your knuckles, running the pads of his fingers across the familiar ridges of your skin. “i don’t understand how after all this time you still don’t realize that all i want is you. it’s ridiculous, really.” 
“it’s ridiculous?” 
“it’s ridiculous,” he chuckled wetly. his other hand rubbed at his eyes, clearing his foggy vision. “our situation isn’t ideal, i know that, but i’d take long distance with you over anything else with anyone else. don’t you get it, five star? you’re it for me. if this isn’t what you want anymore, i’ll accept that. but if you’re only doing this because you don’t think i want this… five star, i want it all with you. long distance. phone calls. text messages. weekend trips when we can get them. distance has nothing on how i feel about you.” 
leave it to luke castellan to make you blush. you shyly looked at him, eyes twinkling with something more than either of you bargained for when you first met in that secret spot you call yours, “how do you feel about me?” 
“i’m not gonna say it right now because i don’t want to have the first time be while we’re in a fight,” luke laughed. the air was starting to clear. “but i have a feeling you know.” 
“i know,” you squeezed his hand three times, “i do too.” 
“will you put me out of my misery and kiss me please?” 
“always so fucking dramatic,” you scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes, but you leaned over and pressed your lips to his.
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ecoamerica · 29 days
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youtube
Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc
The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!
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thatsdemko · 1 year
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love affair- a.leclerc & c.leclerc
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masterlist
requested: n
pairings: Arthur leclerc x gasly!fem!reader & Charles leclerc x gasly!fem!reader
warnings: nsfw + not intended for minors + mentions of nudity + mentions of oral (f receiving)
a/n: mwahahaha I love creating chaos 😌 also the lyrics are from 5sos! I am well aware none of these men(and the beautiful y/n) are not English! it’s just part of the lyrics! this has zero to do with my previous Arthur x gasly!reader fic! feedback is always appreciated xx
《 the following content is not intended for minors. 》
It started on a weekend in May
I was looking for attention, needed intervention
his beautiful green eyes are glued to your body as you move across the hot sand of the beach. you begged your brother to pull over so you could take a dip, cool off, you said.
maybe it was your plan to get him to look, you were never going to say. but you felt those eyes in the passenger seat, he watched your breasts bounce up and down as you jog up to the car, the water that’s left on your tan legs glisten in the sun.
“don’t get your wet bottoms on my seats!” Pierre calls out as you dance around the hot pavement, Charles throws his jacket over the leather before you slip in.
“thank you, Charles.” you reach behind the seats pressing a friendly kiss to your brothers best friends cheek, Pierre groans trying to wipe the ends of your wet hair off the leather.
he watches you collapse against the burning black leather seats. little does he know that in exactly six hours he’d be crammed up in the back eating you out. he’d be shoving his hard cock into your swollen pussy, his hand gripping your throat while you choke his name.
Before I knew it, it was serious
Dragged me out the bar to the back seat of her car
TWELVE HOURS EARLIER
you think you’re the only one awake. you still tip toe around the creaking old floors, you’re in nothing but your brothers old alpha tauri shirt and a pair of an ex boyfriends boxers. when you make your way into the living room you half expect to see someone else awake.
“my my, is this a sight to see.” Charles smirks, chuckle escaping his lips. he’s never seen in anything other than a tight shirt and a pair of bottoms that are way too short. even when you were kids your style was far similar to what it is now.
“oh fuck off,” you mumble slipping next to him on the love seat, and he extends the blanket over into your lap. two of you now watching whatever old black and white movie was on.
“can’t sleep?” he asks, voice in a hushed tone watching your body settle into the seats, thigh quickly brushing his before you pulled away. he can’t help but feel the nervousness scatter his stomach.
“not with my brother snoring in the other room.” you roll your eyes, as much as you love Pierre, his nostrils were the death of you every time you take this summer trip.
“why don’t you sleep in my room? Arthur doesn’t snore. we can swap beds.” he suggests, and you almost laugh knowing he doesn’t want to spend his nights in your pink and white wallpapered bedroom. as much as you know he’s in touch with his feminine side, you’re sure he won’t last the night with the pink colors mocking him.
“that or we could just piss Arthur off, have Pierre sleep in your room.” you suggest and he nods. the silence and crackling of the old film are what occupies the air, it’s almost unfamiliar to you both. this room was always full of laughter and joy, you hate hearing it so dead.
“why don’t you just sleep in my bed with me?” he’s half serious, the sleep deprivation was doing most of his talking right now. when he looks you in the eyes he doesn’t expect you to say yes, but you do. now you’re wrapped in his white linen sheets and the cool breeze from his window blows into your face.
you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t wish this was something more. part of you woke up because you knew he was down there shirtless lounging around in nothing but his tiny shorts. you’re not sure if it’s your own sleep deprivation convincing you that you needed him, but will you be thankful in twenty four hours for what god brings you.
NOW
“sleep well?” Arthur watches you nearly stumble down the stairs into the living room. you’re practically limping, it’s obvious you either hurt yourself at the club or whoever left all those hickeys on your neck left you disoriented.
“something like that.” you wave him off heading into the kitchen where the smell of bacon, eggs, and toast are coming from. your mouth is watering you’re so hungry, you almost don’t even catch your brothers glare while you scarf down two plates of food.
“do I even want to know?” he asks, fork gesturing to the purple and yellow bruises that scatter your neck. he can’t even look at you, he’s disgusted by whoever the man was that left his marking. little does he know the man is his best friend who just entered the kitchen mumbling his late good mornings.
“where were you for our run? I knocked on your door five times.” Lorenzo shoves a plate of food into his brothers chest half caring that some of the egg fell on to the floor. he’s disappointed in his younger brothers lack of motivation and discipline.
“I overslept.” Charles lies. that’s partially true, but while Lorenzo was knocking on his door at five in the morning, you were giving him a good morning treat before his run. he claims it to have been the best way to wake up, it’s why he skipped the run.
Pierre nearly chokes on his dry toast when he sees the nail marks against his friends back. they are still fresh and bright red, he’s surprised Arthur didn’t say a single thing when he walked by.
“and somebody was worried about not getting something this trip.”
“oh wow,” Arthur barely touches one of the marks on his back, it earns a hiss from Charles as he tries to swat the younger man to move along, “these are going to leave quite the mark for awhile.”
you try to hide the red hue that’s floating across your face. you’re lucky all of them are too focused on the nail marks and the details of his wild night. you didn’t expect them to be so obvious, but the acrylics were still fresh from the other day and sharper than you expected them to be.
“would you see her again?” Lorenzo asks sliding into the chair next to Pierre. the question brought you a wave of nausea, you get up instantly once he sits down. there’s no way you’ll be able to hear the truth or the lie. either way you know you crossed a line, and seeing Charles in that setting once more wasn’t an option for you.
“yeah, I would.”
“you don’t own a single thing that doesn’t compliment you, huh?” he takes your hand in his allowing you to twirl and show off the tight body con dress.
you shrug, sheepish smile spreading across your lips, “you like it?” you’re not sure what’s provoked you to ask, but he just nods tongue licking his bottom lip watching you saunter on over to find a pair of high heels to match.
his eyes trail after your body, it’s like he’s never seen an ass and a pair of tits as good as yours. everything about you demanded his, hell anybody’s, attention. every inch of you screamed perfection, it’s impossible for a man to look away, and right now it’s impossible for him.
“what’s on your mind, leclerc?” you bend down to pick up your black high heels and move to a chair to slide them on. he’s right at the edge of the coffee table doing it for you instead. his fingers pull the little string through the hoops, finger tips grazing your legs.
“you.” he says, watching you slide your leg off his thigh and stand up adjusting the dress down your thighs. his eyes follow your body with lust, you swear you’ve never seen a man wrapped around your finger so quickly.
you’re smiling, he’s so pure, you think to yourself, as you use your index finger to tilt his chin upwards, “I’m thinking of you too, Arthur.” you bend down, head dipping to press your lips against his. they’re sweet and soft just like he imagined them to be, he practically moans at the delicacy.
he runs his hands up and down your body, you don’t mind that they linger a little too long on your ass, you think it’s adorable how excited he is. little does he know he’d have you sucking on his swollen cock in the public restroom of the bar. you’d be on your knees listening to him moan your name and later that evening he’d be asking if he was just as good as the guy from last night.
he’d then take you to that same car, and just like his brother, his hard cock would be entering your throbbing pussy each stroke full of passion and intimacy. you could melt at how careful the leclerc’s take their sexual activities.
you can’t tell him who’s better, there’s no clear winner. but god forbid you would never tell him the man before him was his own brother.
When the lights go out, she's all I ever think about
The picture burning in my brain, kissing in the rain
I can't forget, my English love affair
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teapartyprincess4two · 2 months
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I'M THE ANON WHO REQUESTED FOR HEARTBREAK GIRL!!
FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU, OMG. I CAN'T BELIEVE U WROTE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH BUTTTT I SHOULD'VE SPECIFIED THAT I WANTED A HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE I SWEAR I CAN'T TAKE ANGST AND UNRESOLVED ENDING 😭
sooo part two PLEASE??? <3333 (I'll give my right leg for free)
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Heartbreak Girl PT.2- M. Sturniolo
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pairing: Clueless!reader x BestFriend!Matt
classification: slight angst, fluff
warnings: use of y/n, slight cursing, slightly annoying reader, Matt has a gf (brief), HAPPY ENDING
inspiration: requests^^, Heartbreak Girl by 5SOS
summary: Matt tries moving on, but you reel him back in every time.
Heartbreak Girl PT.1
Matt couldn’t find it in himself to stay mad at you. No matter how hard he tried, he found excuse after excuse each time and ended up forgiving you. Matt’s mind was battling with itself, trying to muster up enough hatred to push you out of his life once and for all, but he couldn’t blame you for breaking his heart. Deep down Matt knew that it wasn’t your fault you fell in love with someone else, and it especially wasn’t your fault that he fell in love with you.
So, even though his mind told him no, his heart told him yes, and he found himself welcoming you back into his life just days after the incident.
It was Tuesday, an ordinary day for everyone in the Sturniolo household. You were visiting, something you did often, and you, Chris and Nick were engaged in meaningless conversation on the couch. Matt watches the three of you with a sad droop in his eyes from the kitchen, memories of him sobbing in the hallway just days before replaying through his mind. Your face was such a bittersweet sight; filling him with emotions of love and sadness.
Matt desperately wanted to be the underdog who won the girl, but he didn’t even know where to begin with you. There were so many boundaries he’d have to cross and he didn’t know if he was ready for it all. For starters, you were his best friend. What happens if he confesses and you simply don’t feel the same way? Would he lose you as a friend? Secondly, you just got out of a serious relationship and already voiced your opinion on future relationships. Even if Matt did confess, the trauma Mike left you would blind you. Matt was convinced that you’d never date him.
Matt grabs 4 drinks, the reasons he’s even in the kitchen in the first place, balancing them in his hands as he walks back into the living room. Silently, he hands the drinks out and sits back onto the couch, squeezing in between you and Chris. Your body instinctively scoots in closer to Matt’s, a sigh escaping your lips as you cuddle into his chest. He hates himself for quite literally welcoming you back with open arms, but he can’t help it. He loves you, and he’ll take anything he can get.
When Matt came home crying a few days ago, Nick and Chris prodded him for an explication. At first, he couldn’t find the courage to confess his feelings for you out loud, not even to his brothers. But, Nick and Chris were relentless and after a few more tries they managed to force the information out of Matt.
So, now that you’re wrapped in his arms, Nick sends Matt a warning glare. Matt can feel Nick’s burning stare, but he keeps his eyes on the TV in front of him. He was so undeniably whipped for you it was embarrassing, he couldn’t handle the judgmental looks from his brothers.
“I’m cold,” you whisper, looking up at Matt through your long, thick lashes. Matt’s first instinct is to warm you up, and he fights the urge to peel the clothes off his back and wrap you in it. “Want a blanket?” he asks sweetly, a glint of sadness in his eyes as he makes eye contact with you. Why was he giving into your every whim so easily? Why was he unable to hate you?
You hum in response, turning your attention back to the movie without another word. You had Matt wrapped around your finger, and with the way you just interacted with him, he knew you were playing him. But, like a well trained dog, he wiggled out from under you to fetch you a blanket. Nick and Chris watch in frustration, suppressing the urge to slap their brother for being so whipped.
“Thank you,” you murmur once Matt returns with the blanket, sprawling out over you as he snuggles back into his previous spot.
“Anything for you.”
Matt’s managed to slowly, but surely, get over you, for the most part at least. He didn’t want to, but he started seeing this girl he met through Instagram. His brothers pushed him to meet new people, mostly so he’d finally get over you, but he was hesitant at first. Matt held his reservations, he wanted to save himself for you for as long as possible.
But, he finally decided enough was enough because you didn’t remain true to your previous sentiments about dating. The words still rang through Matt’s mind every night, “I’m just ready to be single.” Why say that if you were going to start dating again just months later? Granted, you were only exploring, none of the people you were associating yourself with were of true interest, but it still hurt.
Matt spent his entire life pining for you, chasing you at a steady pace that kept you just out of reach. Then, for whatever reason, you let a random man enter your life and take his rightful spot? There was an unspoken claim that Matt felt for you, he needed you to be his and no one else’s. But it was clear now that you didn’t see him the same way, so he was forced to find comfort in someone else.
Fiona, the girl Matt was seeing, looked an awful lot like you. It was creepy how similar she was to you; she held a lot of the same mannerisms and dressed like you. Anyone could see that Matt was looking for you in her and that she was the perfect scapegoat, providing Matt with the perfect excuse to stop pursuing anything real with anyone.
When you first met Fiona, you put on a fake, tight lipped smile. You shook her hand aggressively, your firm grip sending her a message that she read loud and clear; you didn’t like her at all. For as long as you’ve known Matt, he’s always been just Matt. Now, with this new girl in the picture, he wasn’t just Matt anymore. It was now Matt and Fiona, and you hated it.
You had zero room to be upset, especially because Matt had practically thrown himself at you time and time again, but the jealousy built up every time you saw them together. Matt smiled at her? You’re furious. Matt tells you about her? You’re not listening. Matt takes her on a date? You hate her. That last part is true, you hate her.
“I just don’t see what he sees in her,” you say, messing with one of the stuffed animals that litter Nick’s bed. He’s been listening to you drone on and on about Fiona for hours. He rolls his eyes as he replies, “she’s nice? I don’t Y/n, can we talk about something else?”
You glance at him, an annoyed look written all over your face, “You’re supposed to listen to me rant. That’s what good friends do.”
“No, that’s what Matt does, and I’m not Matt.”
“Whatever,” you grumble, picking loose pieces of lint from Nick’s bedsheets.
“Why do you care so much about Fiona anyway? Aren’t you seeing that guy? What’s his na-“ Nick begins, but you cut him off because the string of questions begin annoying you.
“Ian? I went on ONE date with him,” you say.
“Okay, well why don’t you go on another?” Nick prods, beginning to push your buttons with each question. “Because he was weird. Plus he smelled like cigarettes,” you mumble, crossing your arms over your chest in annoyance. Why couldn’t Nick just shut up and listen to you rant?
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re an avid Fiona hater, though.” Nick knows you’re fighting with the realization that you’re in love with Matt, why else would Fiona bother you so much?
“She’s just weird. Matt could do better,” you reply, your mind wandering into dangerous territory as you imagine a life where you and Matt are dating. The images tug at your heart strings, a feeling you’ve never felt before when thinking of your best friend.
“Oh okay. And I’m assuming you’re ‘better?’” Nicks’s fingers dramatically air quote the last word, causing a blush to form on your face. “I never said that! Don’t be annoying!” you exclaim, hitting him playfully with the stuffed animal.
He laughs, blocking your hits with his arms, “Just admit you’re in love with him and that’s why you don’t like his girlfriend.” Girlfriend, the word stung when he said it. You stop hitting Nick, slumping back into your spot.
“Girlfriend? They’re official?” the exasperation in your voice is enough to give you away. You’ve never felt this heartbroken before, not even when you and Mike officially ended things. This is a newfound pain, a feeling you don’t want to linger in. Were you blind this entire time? Has the veil finally been lifted only to reveal that your best friend, the love of your life, has his sights set on another?
Nick’s mouth goes agape, a hand quickly covering it. “Are you actually in love with my brother?!” his voice is muffled behind his hand, but still loud enough for you to hear. The realization finally sets in, you love Matt, but you’re too late.
“Holy fuck. I think I am,” you whisper, tears brimming at your eyes. Now what?
It’s rare that you and Matt get time alone nowadays, especially with Fiona always lingering around. Nick confirmed that they weren’t official, they weren’t even exclusive, but for some reason she was always just there. You tried being nice, especially if she was going to become a frequent character in your life, but it was hard.
You’re currently filming a car video with the triplets, grateful that they didn’t invite Matt’s new friend to crash the party. You’ve filmed many videos like this with them before, but for some reason you feel nervous the whole time.
Throughout the entire video Matt’s eyes are glued to you, he’s hanging onto your every word and relishing in the sweet sound of your laughter. This feels normal, and for a second he forgets all about the poor girl he was leading on. But, once the video reaches the halfway point, the conversation drifts into the topic of relationships.
“Okay, this person asks if any of us are in love. You go first, Y/n,” Chris reads the question from his phone, earning daggers from Nick. This was obviously a sensitive subject, and if Nick was in charge of reading the questions he would’ve glossed over it and moved onto the next, but Chris isn’t aware of your hidden feelings for Matt. Matt becomes visibly uncomfortable from his seat, shifting so he’s fully facing the dashboard. Whatever you’re going to say, he doesn’t want to hear it.
You cough awkwardly, “I don’t want to answer that.”
Nick is about to speak up in an attempt to steer the conversation in a different direction, but Chris doesn’t skip a beat, “Okay, that’s fine. Matt? How you liking your new lady friend?” Chris pokes Matt’s sides playfully, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. The question churns your stomach, you actually could vomit right now. Nick sends you a sympathetic glance, attempting to console you with a hand on your knee, but you push his hand away and shake your head profusely.
Matt wants to slap Chris, why would he even direct the question to him? But he keeps his composure, “She’s nice and funny. Nice girl.”
You can’t stop the snarky, sassy remark that escapes your mouth, “Wow. Sounds like true love.” Matt shifts to you in shock, the anger filling his body immediately. Who were you to talk? You crawled back to Mike every single time he uttered so much as a broken promise. You believed him every time he said he would change only to cry to Matt about your heartbreak hours later.
“What would you know? Not like Mike set much of an example,” Matt spits, venom laced in every word. You’re shocked and hurt, Matt was never the type to throw personal stuff in your face.
“So mature, Matt. So mature,” you reply with an eye roll. The air in the car is becoming tense, both Nick and Chris unaware of what to do with themselves. Do they interject? Do they change the subject? Or do they just let you two hash it out? They decided on the last option, scooting far back into their seats and watching the situation unfold.
“Oh shut up! You called me every night crying over that loser. Is that what love is to you?! Because if so, I don’t want any part of it,” Matt’s voice is so loud it shakes the car, he’s pointing an accusatory finger in your face and leaning so far forward in his seat that he’s practically in the backseat.
You’re no stranger to fights, especially not after having Mike as an ex, so you’re quick to respond, “What a best friend you are! If I would’ve known you were going to throw this back in my face, I would’ve never told you any of this!”
Matt’s seething with anger, but so are you. He breaths in deeply through his nose, ready to rip you a new one, but Nick decides he’s heard enough. The camera is still rolling and the mood is ruined.
“Are you two idiots done? Jesus, fuck,” Nick groans, pushing himself between you two and grabbing the camera from the dashboard.
“That was… a lot,” Chris chuckles nervously from the front seat, he has no idea what just happened. Matt clenches his jaw, breaking his gaze from you and facing forward.
“Just take me home,” you command, an angry tone still laced in your voice. The faster you could get out of this car, the better.
“Already on it,” Matt retorts, starting the car and reversing out of the parking lot. You’re about to make a snarky remark, but he turns the volume up, loud radio music drowning your voice. You’re trembling at this point, the pent up anger threatening to burst at any moment.
Once Matt pulls up to your house, he quickly places the car in park, unlocking the doors from the front seat to serve as your invitation to leave. You gladly accept it, dismissing yourself from Nick and Chris with a genuine, apologetic smile before swinging the door open. You step out of the car, slamming the door shut soon after.
You stomp your way to your house, trembling hands unlocking your front door. But once you’re inside, any anger you felt is replaced with sadness, the tears finally spilling over.
You felt helpless, forced to navigate new feelings you didn’t ask for. You groan in frustration, wiping the tears away and walking to your room, you were NOT going to cry over Matt.
That resolution didn’t last very long, though, as soon as you’re in your room you slump onto your bed and the tears continue to flow. You scream into your pillow, letting all your frustrations out. As much as you loved Matt, you hated him for making you feel this way.
Matt is going through the same emotions; his mind dancing over a fine line of hatred and love for you. He hated how much he loved you. The entire situation in the car earned him a tongue lashing from Nick and he soon realized that whatever he had with Fiona had to end. He couldn’t keep leading her on, because, as much as he hated to admit it, you were right; he didn’t love her.
So, he broke the poor girl’s heart through a text message. He blocked her right after and took a long, cold shower to try and wash away the guilt. Matt tried convincing himself that this was the right thing to do, that he was going to end up winning the girl, his girl.
He twists the knobs of the shower, turning the water off and quickly exiting the tub. He knows what he has to do, and if he’s going to do it, it had to be right now. There was no time to wait. He dresses himself swiftly, throwing on the first outfit he can find before grabbing his car keys and rushing out the door.
Matt feels a surge of adrenaline course through his veins, it was now or never. He drives to your house, running through red lights and stop signs on the way there. He’s throwing the car in park, yanking the keys out of the ignition and throwing his seat belt off as quickly as possible. His legs carry him to your front door at lightning speed, a heavy fist knocking so loud the sound travels through your home.
It startles you from your sleep, causing you to jolt up from your bed and look around the room. Matt is yelling your name at this point, trying his to call you down. “What the fuck?” you croak, grabbing your phone and checking the time. It’s only been two hours since Matt dropped you off, what could he possibly want.
You slip your house shoes on, tired feet trudging downstairs to the front door. You open the door abruptly, still holding some resentment from earlier, “What Matt? What could possibly be so important that you’re banging on my door at midnight.”
Matt clears his throat, ignoring your sour attitude as he prepares to confess to you. “If this is about our fight from earlier, I forgive you. Goodni-“ you continue, but Matt cuts you off.
“Can I speak? Damn.” He waits patiently to see if you’re going to interrupt before continuing, “I broke it off with Fiona.”
You have to physically stop yourself from jumping for joy at the news, instead replying either a snarky remark, “okay, how is this news worth losing sleep over?”
“Just shut up for one second, please,” he shushes you, taking a step into your house. He closes the door behind him, shaky hands find their way to your face. You subconsciously lean into him, relishing in his touch.
“Y/n, I love you. And before you interrupt, just listen,” he begins, holding a stare so intense that it makes your knees wobble. You hum in response, ready to hear everything this man has to say.
He takes a deep breath, “I love you and I’ve loved you from the moment I met you. Everyday I wake up and curse the world for not making you mine. I love everything about you; your laugh, your smile, your sense of humor, your face, everything, Y/n. The moments I spend away from you are painful and the ones I spend with you are the highlights of my life.” Butterflies are fluttering around your stomach, you want to pull him in and kiss him already, but he’s not done.
“I’ve kept this a secret for a long time, mostly because I was afraid of what it would do to our friendship. But I can’t deny it anymore. I. Love. You. The longer I keep it in, the more it hurts,” he pushes his forehead against yours, his wet hair tickling your skin. “When you were with Mike, I wished I was him every day. If I was him, I would have never made you cry. I would have protected and taken care of you- I will protect and take care of you. I’d quite literally do anything for you, Y/n. Anything.”
He inhales deeply again, the anxiety dissipating as he searches your eyes. They’re twinkling, a big smile spread across your face as he continues, “From the way you reacted earlier, I know you feel the same way. Don’t deny it. You love me just as much as I love you. Just…” he finished his statement by fluttering his eyes closed and attaching his lips to yours.
You kiss back, an instant wave of joy washing over you. “I love you, too,” you whisper against his lips, feeling the way his lips curl up into a smile. He knew it, but it felt good to hear you say it. He pulls you in for another kiss, ready to spend the rest of forever with you.
MASTERLIST
A/n:
Thank you heartbreak girl anon, I’ll be expecting that right leg in the mail soon. This was a popular demand here on the TeaPartyPrincess4Two blog, so I ofc had to supply. Luv u, enjoy 👍🏻💌 (also… Shameless mentioned????)
- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
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ghost of you | steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve harrington comes to the realization that he needs you more than anything. if only he had come to that realization before he lost you forever. 
warnings: breakup, angst, drinking, depression, hopeful ending
wordcount: 2.05k
author's note: this fic is based off ghost of you by 5sos, and i hope you enjoy it! i started writing this like back in february and just decided to finish it up now, so there might be random gaps in there just lmk lol. if you'd like a part two, let me know!
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Steve couldn’t sleep as well as he did before. Weeks of tossing and turning could no longer be blamed on a supposedly lumpy mattress. Dustin and Robin had told him time and time again that if he wanted a new mattress he could simply buy a new one. But the mattresses at the store were missing something. They didn’t come with the faint smell of your shampoo, or the wrinkles in the sheets from when you last slept over. 
Nearly two months had passed since you were here, yet everything remained the same in Steve’s bedroom. Your side of the bed was untouched. No matter how much Steve insisted he was getting over you, he still refused to sleep on your side of the bed. 
Steve rolled out of bed and dragged his feet down the stairs. The floors creaked with every heavy step until he made it down to the kitchen. Dust coated the countertop from lack of use aside from a plate of uneaten food here and there. Robin always made sure Steve had food - she’d stop by the local pizzeria at times and buy him a slice. But as soon as she’d leave, he’d push away the plate and go back to bed. 
Steve sat down on the barstool and sighed to himself. To his right sat a half empty cup of coffee. There was nothing special about the cup, it was just a blue cup with a faded “world’s okay-est dad” printed on it from the kids last holiday. But to Steve, it was your cup. Your lipstick was still stained on the rim, faint but still there. God, you didn’t live together officially back then, yet you had designated the left side of the bed and Steve’s yellow sweatshirt as yours, not that Steve minded, though. He loved you, adored you, even. 
If only he told you that when it mattered most. 
Steve wasn’t sure why he gave into Robin and Nancy’s idea. Perhaps it was because he was such a pushover for the kids, that nature transferred to them as well. Nonetheless, Steve was heavily regretting it. 
Now, all of Steve’s house was being deeply cleaned to a near perfect state. Nancy suggested throwing a party to get Steve “out of his funk,” as she put it. Anything to help improve his mood, but in reality Steve wanted to do anything but party. He couldn’t when you weren’t by his side, making sure he didn’t drink too much or that he had enough water and food in his stomach. Not when you weren’t pulling him to the middle of the room to dance like no one was watching, or whispering in his ear that you had enough socializing for one night. Those moments, he would look into your eyes and not break away when he called out to everyone that the party was over. Because you were everything to him and anything you said goes. That is until he broke things off with you. 
Why did he ever end things? 
Steve’s mind was racing as he absentmindedly swept the living room floor, dust accumulating at his feet. He didn’t hear Robin’s voice calling out to him until she was literally in front of him, shaking his shoulders. The boy snapped out of his thoughts, flinching at his friend’s rough shaking. 
“Jesus, Rob,” he shook his head. “What do you want?”
Robin rolled her eyes at his hostility and crossed her arms on her chest. “Nancy called,” she deadpanned. “She did the laundry and found a bunch of old crap. She wants to know if she can throw them out or donate them.”
Steve sighed, running his fingers through his uncommonly flat, greasy hair. He had forgotten to shower -once again- but he made a mental note to do so once he finished cleaning the house. “It’s probably my mom’s stuff. I’ll go down to check it out.” 
Handing the broom and dustpan to his friend, Steve casually walked downstairs to meet Nancy. And at that moment, he felt as though his entire world collapsed in front of him. In a way, his world really did. 
Nancy was crouched by the dryer, folding clothes and sorting them as she pleased. At her side was a lime green basket full of Steve’s old sweatshirts and jeans he once had haphazardly strewn across his bedroom floor. Sitting on top of the pile was a faded black Led Zeppelin shirt. The design was barely there anymore, and you could barely make out the words on it. But that didn’t matter to Steve. That was your shirt and not Nancy’s to touch. 
“Hey Steve,” she greeted without looking up from her work. “I set aside a pile of–” 
“What did you do?” Steve yelled, his voice raspy and broken from lack of use. He scrambled to the ground and reached for his band t-shirt. The worn material was thin and frail in his hands, almost to a point where he could pull a thread from the hem and the entire shirt would fall apart. 
Nancy shot up in alarm, not expecting his frantic reaction. “I-I did the laundry-”
“NO!” he cried out. He brought the article of clothing to his nose, desperately trying to smell you, find you, in the shirt but to no avail. All that he could smell was the stupid detergent from the convenience store. 
Tears streamed down his face and onto the cotton, quickly absorbing it and darkening the shirt color. “That was all I had of her,” he sobbed. “How could you, I-I” 
Robin ran down into the laundry room at the sound of Steve yelling. “What’s going on here?” she called, racing to meet her friends. “Nancy what happened?” 
The poor girl only shrugged her shoulders. “I was just finishing up the laundry and Steve flipped out. Something about a memento?” 
Robin stared down at the broken man before her. She could barely recognize him anymore. He was a wreck without you. “y/n’s shirt,” was all Robin could say. 
Closing his eyes, Steve could barely make out the image of you in the rain. You had yet another quarrel with your family and ended up at his doorstep. The fuzzy memory replayed in his head, how you were out of breath from running across town to him, looking for him. How he held you the entire night while you wore that shirt since your original clothes were wet and muddy. You clung to him as if he were your lifeline, and he held you with the same regard. They always said you two were too young to know what love felt or meant. No one understood or felt your hurt the way he did. That’s what made you perfect for each other.
And that’s what made you each other’s poison. 
– 
The debacle was resolved once Steve had fallen asleep in his room, locking himself away for the rest of the afternoon until cleaning had completed. Robin had consoled Nancy after she kicked herself for her mistake, but there was nothing that could be done afterwards. Something Steve had forgotten was that they had lost a friend as well. If he wasn’t your person, Nancy was, the girl glued to the hip wherever you went. And Robin was a little sister to you, the kids, too. You were an essential part of your little group. And now you’re just gone. 
Soon enough, the party started and the Harrington Manor was filled to the brim with drunk high school students or popular has-beens. No one quite knew how they managed to get in, but no one stopped them or cared for that matter. It was a long shot, but Eddie, Nancy, and Robin were grasping at straws to get their Steve back. If a party to reminisce old times brings back his cheerful spark, then they were willing to buy all the booze Hawkins could supply. 
Steve stood by himself in the corner of the main room of the house, nursing his third can of beer of the hour. He was silent, despite the many people coming up in their drunken stupor to greet the supposed host of the party. All he could manage was a fake smile and nod to bore them off. 
All of a sudden, he caught a glimpse of a familiar color of hair. He whipped his head around to follow the shadow, only for it to disappear into the crowd. Steve hurried to push through waves of people dancing to music Steve could only describe as pure trash, to find what he was looking for. After all, could it be? After two months, could a party bring you back to him? 
“y/n!” Steve shouted out, his voice drowned out in the blaring music. “y/n!” 
The shadow did not stop, but neither did Steve. Steve followed it to the backyard, shouting and stumbling as the alcohol in his system began to take over. 
“Steve!” a voice shouted behind him. Steve finally stopped to turn around and see Max staring back at him in disbelief. “What the hell are you yelling about?”
Steve’s hands trembled as he grabbed Max’s shoulders. “y/n,” he whispered. “I saw her, I swore I saw her here. She was right there, I-” 
“Steve,” Max sighed. “She’s not here. She never was.” The teen pointed out at the garden and pool, seeing no one in sight. Truth be told, absolutely no one was there. Not in the party, nor the backyard. Steve’s grief had taken him by storm. Max feared the worst for him.
The party finally ended in the early hours of the morning. Steve woke up on the sticky floor of his manor to the sound of his doorbell ringing. The night was a blur to him. He could barely recall when the party started, much as when it ended. There were flashes of blaring lights and music in Steve’s intoxicated mind. His friends had tried to stop him from drinking himself stupid. At one point, Eddie had to catch him off the kitchen counter when he thought he could crowd surf. To put it shortly, his friends had gotten extremely upset with him and left not long after. Not that Steve cared, though. The alcohol in his system and neverending dread prevented him from caring. 
“I can’t keep doing this anymore, Steve,” Robin had yelled over the loud music. Their friends nodded solemnly behind her. “We can’t keep letting you sulk and drink yourself to death. But we can’t help you when you can’t help yourself.”
“Like I care,” Steve slurred, stumbling over himself. Trashy beer dribbled down his chin, onto his expensive sweater. “I didn’t ask you guys to help me. I didn’t ask you to wash her shirt, or clean her side of the bed. I didn’t ask you to help me forget her.” 
“We aren’t telling you to forget her,” Dustin sighed for the millionth time that night. “We just want you to go back to normal.”
Steve plopped down against the wall, his head creating a thud noise against it. “How can I?” he began to cry. “I see her everywhere. It’s like her ghost is still here, dancing through the house.” His friends stared down at him feeling absolutely helpless. The young teens watched pitifully. Steve was their rock throughout it all. He was the strongest person they knew, but now he was broken in a million pieces and there was nothing they could do. 
And now, Steve clumsily stood up and kicked around empty beer cans as he approached the door. 
“Alright,” he grumbled, thinking it was one of his friends. He knew he had to apologize for the things he said that night, but he was hoping he’d get a chance to get over his hangover first. 
The doorbell rang one more time, causing Steve to wince at the pinging noise. “I heard you the first time, for fuck’s sake,” he yelled out. Unlocking the door, the door swung open to reveal not Nancy, or Dustin, or even Robin for that matter. 
“Stevie,” you whispered, teary eyed. You were wearing his yellow sweatshirt and hadn’t changed a bit. From your hair to your stature. You were still his girl.
“y/n,” Steve gasped out.
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Piece of Cake
Luke Hemmings x reader x Calum Hood
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Summary Luke doesn’t think you like him, but oh does Calum know you do, and so he decides to interfere for both of your sakes
warnings = MDNI! includes smut, use of weed, blowjob, facial, slight angst, clitoral stimulation, exhibitionism
The last thing that you had ever expected whilst opening for 5sos during their post covid tour was for anything romantic or sexual to happen between you and one of the five members, of course that hadn't stopped you from dreaming lustful images, but never had you thought the opportunity would arise. That was until one evening when you were sat on the tour bus, Michael and Ashton had ventured off to spend time with their significant others, leaving you with the bassist and lead singer. You were sat on your bed, Luke and Calum were in the living space, you were rolling a blunt, licking the paper so that the contents would remain inside without quarrel without spilling out.
They were talking about music and other nonsense, whilse you were planning to get high, and you were rather glad that you hadn't even lit the blunt or taken the puff from it when you became the topic of their converse. Perhaps it was rude to listen in on their private conversation, especially when they had gifted you with a ride along on their tour to expand your own fan base, but it was impossible to help yourself. You were curious, that was all, and very intrigued.
“So about y/n?” There wasn’t much to the question that Calum was asking Luke, you could only imagine that the blond’s head perked up in as much confusion as your own was. “Are you going to make a move man, every time she’s up on that stage or she simply walks through the room you’re drooling more than your dog does.” Your head tilted in pivoted hope, however you weren’t going to make assumptions without a word being directly said to you… right? That would be absurd, especially considering within the spotlight that your career granted it was easy for rumours to be misinterpreted or spread throughout the media. However, this was the source that you were listening in on, and subjectively you chewed your own bottom lip as you awaited the response of the man whom was undergoing a friendly interrogation.
A long and drawn out sigh elevated from Luke’s lungs as he leant his curl rooted hair back, burning his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling lights that were built into the tour bus. “It’s not that I don’t want to man,” at least that was a comforting statement to feed your awaiting nerves, “but I feel like I have to remain professional. Not to mention, she probably isn’t interested in me anyways, have you seen how well her and Ash get along? If she were to want one of us, it definitely wouldn’t be me…” There was a seasoning of self sympathy behind his subjective words, of which formed a crack within your heart from hearing them. His undirected accusations were a harm to his own mind, inflicting his own doubts, and you could see how he could perceive your friendship with his band mate that way.
You and Ashton got along insanely well, he was the first one that calmed your nerves the first time that you were scheduled to perform before them. But the two of you were just friends and that was all. The entire conversation that you were intruding on with your hearing distracted you from the task that you were currently attempting to perform, and thus the joint that you had just glued together with the stick of your saliva escaped your grip as you fumbled and tumbled out of your bunk and onto the floor between the set of stacked beds. “Shit.” The curse spewed from your mouth as you instinctively reacted to the accidental slip of your fingers, and then your heart froze. You hadn’t wanted to make a noise, however now it was too late, and all you could do was hope that Calum and Luke had been oblivious to the sound of your voice.
“Y/n?” Calum cautiously enquired on your presence, the sound of his foot falls nearing closer and closer to your solitary destination, and instinctively you held your breath, not wanting to give your accidental agenda away to the bassist or the lead singer that had been discussing you and your status quo with each member. Softly the doll grey curtain of your bunk was pulled aside to reveal your embarrassed expression, Calum inquisitively staring down at you from the height of which he stood. A rosey warmth bruised the high points of your face as there was no doubt that your deposited hearing had been noticed, and so had the joint that you had configured. Cal plucked it up off the carpeted ground as he smirked at the circumstances that you were under, and thus with his sweet brown eyes he convinced you to crawl out of your bed, his large and tanned hand guiding you from the placement of your lower back.
He lead you into the entrance living space of the bus, where Luke was nervously planted, rubbing his painted fingernails gently along his bottom lip and diffusing his instinct to chew on them. With his cobalt eyes he sent harmless daggers towards you, his long legs taking up a length of space on the floor, the opposing limb folded over the knee of his other, his ankle tapping the air as he awaited for the tension to break. “Oh Luke, calm down mate, y/n overheard everything but don’t worry, I could see when she slipped down from her bed ho wet her pretty pink panties were. Isn’t that right sweetie?” Cal squeezed your ass which was facing him, the flirtatious notion making you jump in the oversized shirt you wore; he was embarrassing you in front of Luke, but the other man seemed shy to the appeal that was ongoing before his eyes. “Come on girl, tell Lukey that it was all for him. Tell him that he made you all wet, you could even show him how soaking your pussy is underneath that layer of cotton.”
A whine slithered out from your submissive throat, you felt vulnerable and the butt of the joke that Calum was telling, without the intention of a pun, but admittedly you were loving every second of it. But it wasn’t just Luke that had caused a sweet and slick river to flow between your legs, which was strange considering that he was the one that you liked. The way in which Calum degraded you before him though had you riled up, needy and desperate for someone to touch you, and it didn’t matter which one of them did it. “Y/n…” Luke spoke your name so delicately, there being a a quiet innocence behind his tone. Immediately your head snapped up to ogle at the man, an alert and doe eyed detriment reflecting in your hungry expression. You were all too focused on the blond so that you were late to notice how Cal veered closer to your sexually appealing form, his hand slipping upwards on the back of your thigh, rising up to the centre of all of your desires over the thin cotton that protected your vulnerability from seething eyes that intended to pry at your most intimate parts.
He continued his sly yet indiscreet movements until the pads of his thick fingers were callously prompting across your lightly clothed bundle of nerves, causing staggered breaths from leaving your mouth. It was difficult to focus on only the pleasurable feeling that Calum was making you feel, as Luke’s wide eyes were ogling at your glowing form, his pupils flickering from between your blushing face and where Calum was attending to tease the both of you. He was provoking his band mate, luring him into finally make a move, however he had yet to grow the courage to do so. Luke was in a conflict with his own mind and what his pants desired, he chewed stagnantly on his lip awaiting for the impulse to do something kick in. “Aw Y/N, did you hear him say your name sweetie?” The bassist teased you, withdrawing his hand from toying with you which made you whine from the extraction. He leant his mouth right by your ear, and whispered into it, “wouldn’t it sound better if he moaned it?” And you believed it, and you were even wetter from simply imagining it.
It was as though Calum were hypnotising you, and without your own will to do so, your feet fell in footsteps closer to where Luke was seated, and you succumbed to the cushions of your knees, staring up at the man that you lusted after as Calum stood as your shadow and brushed his fingers through your hair. The notion was a gentle one, until he gave it a harsh tug which hitched your throat back so that you were looking into his dark eyes. “I’ve made you feel good Y/N/N, now why don’t you do the same for our friend?” He was pushing you, convincing you to pleasure the god like adonis whose knees were resting against your collarbones, and you were easily sold. And thus you unbuckled his belt and loosened the tightness until you could slip the leather material out from the loops, feeding the teeth of his flyer to your hands. Without any haste you pulled the zip down, and tugged the tight denim from his upper legs, only to discover that he had opted to go commando that morning.
And by gosh you were enamoured with the sight that was in your face; he was erect and wantonly weeping from his tip for attention, and you weren’t going to deny his famine. And thus you engulfed the head of Luke’s large and veined cock into your mouth, greedily humming from the warmth of skin that filled your mouth. “Oh fuck Y/N!” Luke gasped, his mouth gaping open as he tried to ground his pleasure, and he tousled your hair in his hand. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good.” Each word that he spoke only gaged you to attempt to bring more of his length into your mouth, choking from your efforts. And you only choked more as you felt another pressure again on the back of your head, enforcing you to take more down your throat even though your survival instincts tried to reject the intrusion. “Such a good girl, making our Luke feel good. And you can always make him feel good now you know how he feels about you Y/N/N. This cock is yours to suck, this big fat cock that’s making your eyes water.”
Luke moaned simultaneously alongside you from Calum’s dirty words, the sound of your gagging and Luke’s light and vocalised moans being the distinct sound that filled the room in the tour bus. There was a tight feeling that was pulling from the insides of Luke’s balls, he was getting extremely close and he shocked the both of you when you unexpectedly pulled your lips away from his cock to get air, as ropes and ropes of his white seed decorated your face, the warmth of the liquid bringing you a sense of fulfilment and gratified euphoria. For a moment it felt like it was only you and Luke, taking turns to exhale heavily as you came to grips that this wasn’t just a dream, it was a reality. A hot, dirty and sweaty reality. However everything hit you when Calum released his hand from your head, his voice filling your ears intermittently. “Looking good Y/N. And my work here is done…’ Calum joked, metaphorically dusting off his hands from the gruel that he had to cause to finally bring both you an Luke together.
He slowly vacated the room with little words more to say, leaving you and Luke in your own comforting isolation. “So…?” Luke laughed with the emission from his lungs, stroking your hair away from his cum that still covered your face. “So…” He repeated back to you, a content and calm smile endorsing his features. “Do you want to maybe be my girlfriend? I’ve liked you for a long time, and I never had the guts to say something until, well, this.” You reciprocated his smile, tentatively nodding and forgetting all about the joint that you had been rolling, maybe you wouldn’t need it to feel at peace tonight, because Calum with his sexual interference had helped you come to it. “Okay, we can discuss the details of our first date after we get cleaned up. Fancy a shower?” He teased yet endorsed your interest, and soon the pair of you were off to the small and confined bathroom to get ‘cleaned up’ as boyfriend and girlfriend.
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ecoamerica · 1 month
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querenciasturniolo · 8 months
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leave ⮕ c.s.
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word count: 724
warnings: angst, swearing, crying
summary: “just leave.”
a/n: this one is…sad, there’s really no other way to put it. if you’re sensitive to angst (cut to me crying and listening to story of another us by 5sos on repeat while writing this), please don’t read below the cut. only take what you can handle, i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
You stared at your ceiling, your body and mind completely numb as you replayed last night over and over again in your head.
“Are you fucking serious right now? You sound ridiculous, Chris. Get over yourself.”
He scoffed and took a step back. “Get over myself? God, everything is always about you. I’ve been falling apart right in front of you for months, and you didn’t even see it!”
You winced, closing your eyes to keep them from burning as tears pooled out. It felt impossible to cry, you’d figured you’d run out of tears.
Your chest constricted as you watched his mouth quiver. “I just,” he started, his gaze dropping to the floor. “I can’t do this anymore.” He all but whispered. You took a step forward, your breath hitching in horror as Chris took a step back. After a few shaky breaths, his eyes met yours again. Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he shook his head. “I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I?”
Your breath hitched, your hands immediately covering your face as you tried to muffle the choked sob forcing itself past your lips.
“Chris, you’re my best friend—”
“I’m in love with you.” He interrupted, his voice breaking. “I’ve been in love with you our entire lives, and I know you’re not so fucking dense that you didn’t see it.” His words were like poison as they sank in, your stomach roiling with guilt.
Before you could reply, he cut you off. “I have followed you around like a lost puppy since we were twelve, and I can’t do it anymore.” He said, lifting his head completely. The muscle in his jaw tensed, any words you were going to say dying in your throat. He stared you down, his misery festering as your hand rested over your abdomen.
“Chris, I didn’t know.” You whispered, Chris shaking his head.
“Please, it was written all over my face every time I looked at you.” His voice was laced with sarcasm and venom. “Just…just leave.” He said, his voice cracking as he pushed his hair out of his eyes.
You felt like you’d been stabbed, all of the color leaving your face as you processed his words. “What?”
“Just leave, please?” The last word came out a broken plea, his eyes closing as he sighed sharply. When he opened his eyes again, they were certain, hardened in a way that you knew whatever he said next, he meant whole-heartedly. “I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.” He said. It felt as though everything inside you shattered as he walked past you and into Matt’s room, the soft click of the door practically echoing inside of your head.
You sat up out of your bed and threw your legs over the side of it. Nausea coiled in your gut, but you bit it back as you leveled your breathing. You tried convincing yourself that this wasn’t over, Chris wasn’t out of your life forever. He wasn’t, he just needed time to process this, and then you would see him again.
The truth was, once you thought about it, it was painfully obvious how much he cared for you. You’d never thought twice about his actions, thinking it was just Chris being Chris. You’d been blinded by your own obliviousness, just completely ignoring the underlying reasons for his actions.
He was in love with you, and you didn’t feel the same way. You didn’t feel the same way, and you hated yourself for hurting him. You could see the sadness in his eyes every time he looked at you, as subtle as it was. He was falling apart right in front of you, because you couldn’t just tell him the truth.
“I’m never going to be good enough for you, am I?”
You sat up straight and wiped your eyes.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Standing from your bed felt wrong, but you took a deep breath and pushed your hair out of your face. You looked down at your phone and tapped the screen, begging whatever entity out there to let there be something, anything, from him. Your notification center practically mocked you as it showed up empty. You inhaled shakily, trying desperately to swallow the knot in your throat as you realized this was it—you lost him.
“Just leave.”
tags: @strniolo , @toyourloves , @ssturniolo , @jellybeanbby , @thetriplets3 , @mxriverse , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @emmssturniolo , @lvrsparadise , @tuktuk34 , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @babytomatoes , @ldontexistman
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nataliasquote · 3 months
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Ghost Of You | n romanoff
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Summary: learning to move on after Natasha’s sacrifice is the hardest thing in the world
Warnings: mentions of grief, loss, Natasha’s death
wc: 3.2k
note: this is an old fic I wrote ages ago, but I used to love it. I’ve given you enough fluff now anyway… also inspired by the song ‘Ghost of You’ by 5SOS.
- ⧗ -
Four months.
It'd been four months since she died.
Four months without Natasha.
And Y/n keep telling everyone she was fine, but there was a part of her that kept saying that her Natasha wasn’t really gone.
And it's the irrational part of her brain.
But she missed that redhead more than anyone knew.
Words couldn’t begin explain how much she missed her.
It was painful. It felt as though the world had come crashing down, plunging everything into total darkness. And when there was light, colour ceased to exist. Because what was a life without a purpose or reason to live?
Her sun. Gone.
Her home. Gone
Nothing left except harsh reminders of what could have been. There was no future anymore. Y/n spent her days in the past, tangled in memories that were wearing with age. A distorted version of her reality that became harder to grasp with every day that slipped by. The memories were slipping through her fingers, no matter how hard she tried.
Yelena was left to pick up the pieces her sister had left behind. A crumbled widow, her whole life a subject of loss, yet somehow she remained an iron fortress throughout it all. Y/n was family, something Yelena didn’t have much of, or knew much about, but she would be damned if anything happened to her now. She wasn’t sure she could handle another loss.
Y/n had taken residence in her spare room, the barren walls now burdened with grief. It settled across the floor like an unsettling blanket, smothering all who dared to step foot over the threshold.
But Yelena soldiered on. It was down to her to pull Y/n out of the pits she had crawled into in her mind, and today no different. The door creaked from lack of use, the room’s darkness only broken up by the light spilling around the old curtains. A body lay curled up in bed, but the blonde knew she was not asleep.
Against her instincts, Yelena made sure her boots were loud on the exposed floorboards, alerting the jumpy woman of her presence. She crouched slowly, a hand reaching out to land on Y/n’s knee softly.
"You ok?" She asked, receiving no movement or change of expression. Y/n’s eyes were heavy, but not with lack of sleep. This tiredness extended further than that; a tiredness of life. “Y/n, it’s me.”
A mumble came as a reply, which Yelena took as a positive. Some days received absolutely no recognition, so a sound or nod was progress.
“Any idea of what you want to do today?” She probed again, moving over to the curtains to draw them back slightly. Y/n winced at the light, another good sign. The outside air was cool and a welcome refreshment as the Russian pushed the rusty window open a fraction.
“Bed and sleep,” came the reply. A possible plan, yes, but not exactly what Yelena was thinking.
“How about we go somewhere today?” Y/n didn’t look convinced. “Natasha would want you to, you know that.”
“Don’t say her name!” Y/n cried, her voice breaking from lack of use and raw emotion. She refused to mention Natasha anymore, too afraid of what was lying just below the surface if she did.
But something had switched in Yelena overnight, and she turned around quickly. “She was my sister. I have every right to say her name Y/n.” That was clearly the wrong thing to say, but what did she know? Yelena had barely been out of the Red Room for two years. Social cues weren’t a strong suit. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just know she wouldn’t want you moping around grieving her like this. She would want you to go out and live your life. See the world.”
"How can I see the world when she was my world." Y/n whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks and soaking into her pillow. "I loved her but never got to show her properly. There is so much more I could have done for her. If I'd just had more time." Yelena crouched down and helped her sit up, offering a tissue to clean herself up a bit.
"I have a suggestion for you. I was talking to Wanda yesterday and we think it might be a good idea if you go back there."
Y/n looked up at her with red and puffy eyes. “Back where?”
“Back home, Y/n. The apartment that you and Natasha shared. You’ve still got lots of your stuff there and I’m sure there’s some things of hers you want.”
Y/n had stopped listening at the word ‘home’. Home wasn’t a place, it never had been. It was a feeling. A person. Y/n would never be able to go home anymore. An empty apartment ridden with memories wasn’t somewhere she wanted to be. Not without Natasha to breathe life into those four walls. Without her it was just dark. Lifeless.
Just like how she felt right now.
Yet her response was surprising. An “ok” tumbled past her lips before she could even register what she was saying, taking both her and Yelena by surprise. She leaned against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest, staring at a dark spot on the duvet cover.
“Ok? I’ll be there the whole time, don’t worry. How about I give you some time to get ready and I’ll meet you out by the truck?” Y/n nodded, her eyes not moving, and Yelena took that as her cue to leave.
A shower felt like too much work, so Y/n dragged her hair into a ponytail and let it hang limply, too exhausted to try and do anything with it. The yellowing light in the bathroom only emphasised her dark circles and she eyed her make up bag that sat balanced on the edge of the sink.
Concealer barely helped, as did mascara, but Y/n tried all the same, almost willing herself to look better. If Natasha saw her in this state she would have crumbled, but she wasn’t there so Y/n couldn’t find it within her to care.
Placing her mascara back in the bag, her fingertips brushed over a familiar tube. She pulled it out and stared at it carefully, the writing old and faded on the packaging. But there was no mistaking Natasha’s favourite red lipstick. She refused to use any other shade and it always looked so vibrant against her pale skin. But looking at it now, it just looked so dull.
Y/n pressed her lips to it gently and slipped it into her pocket, where it nestled alongside a folded photograph and a promise ring.
Natasha’s promise ring. The one she used to wear alongside her wedding ring. The wedding ring that matched the one currently strung around her neck, too obnoxious to stay on her finger now.
Their key to everlasting happiness.
But what good was a key on its own? Useless without its matching component, a harsh reminder of what could have been but never will be.
Yelena was sat in the back seat of the truck with Fanny, giving the Akita belly rubs which he clearly loved. She looked up at Y/n and smiled, climbing through to settle into the drivers seat. “Fanny doesn’t know the meaning of stay yet, so I’ll bring him along. But he won’t come inside.”
Y/n nodded, and placed her elbow on the window edge, her cheek falling into her palm. The gentle hum of the engine combined with the smoothness of the road pulled her back into her head, memories swirling around but never fully making themselves known. Y/n was in the muddy middle ground, somewhere between numbness and a breakdown.
After an hour the car came to a stop. She knew this parking lot. Knew which space Nat always kept her bike in. She was always so particular.
Holding the key tightly in her fist, Y/n ascended the metal stairs, ignoring the way the rough edges of the key dug into her skin and left an imprint. She knew how to wiggle it into the lock just enough to get it to turn, muscle memory taking over.
As she opened the door, the living room was dark. A light layer of dust covered all the surfaces from the lack of use, and small slits of lights peaked through the closed curtains. There were books piled on the table and a couple of old beer bottles stranded on the floor. Y/n looked around in a daze, completely absorbed by the change of atmosphere. This place used to be so full of life. But now it was dull and barren.
Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes glanced to the floor. By the door, like they'd just been taken off, was Nat's pair of old converse. They were once black, but now sported a dark grey colour, having been worn so often. She wore them everywhere when she wasn't working.
Y/n bent down and picked them up, looping the laces over her fingers so she could easily carry them with her. The kitchen door was open, so she carried on walking, almost in a trance. Yelena hadn’t entered yet, wanting to give her some privacy in her old home.
The kitchen was brighter as the blinds were open, and everything was just as they had left it. A pile of clean dishes on the rack, just waiting to be put away. Nat's collection of weird keychains that she collected from every place she visited. A pile of hair ties and bobby pins that always disappeared. But most importantly, the fridge.
It was used more like their main photo album. Photos covered the silver metal, miscellaneous magnets holding photos of the couple onto it. There was a picture of Nat kissing Y/n on the beach, the first date we ever went on as an official couple. Even in the one captured moment, you could see how tender Natasha was, cupping Y/n’a face with her rough palms like she was a priceless jewel. Looking at it, she could still feel her touch.
There were a few candid ones from their trip to Europe and even some from their wedding day. But the one in the middle made her heart ache.
Nat laying on a picnic blanket in the park, her hair pulled back in a half up messy braid. She was lying on her stomach with a book open out in front of her, legs bent up behind her with those damn converse on her feet. She had the biggest smile on her face and she was laughing into the camera. Y/n remembered that day so vividly and she started to cry. She could never feel that way again, so happy, so relaxed.
"Damn it!” She yelled, slamming her hand onto the counter and taking a shaky breath in.
"Y/N?" a voice questioned, breaking her out of her mini outburst. Y/n quickly turned around to find the source of the voice, which was coming from the door way. The shoes fell out of her hand as she layed eyes upon the woman stood in the doorway.
Red hair was the first thing Y/n noticed.
Arms wide. A big smile on her face.
Not wasting any time, she ran into her open arms and felt herself being picked up, bodies spinning around like they always used to do. Both women were both giggling and smiling at each other, tears running down their faces.
"Oh my god you're actually here! I thought you left me" Y/n cried, grabbing onto Natasha’s face and planting kisses everywhere. Her nose, cheeks, jaw, everywhere she had missed being able to feel beneath her fingertips suddenly felt so real and she could sense the weight being lifted off her chest. It just felt right.
"I would never leave you baby." Natasha said, before their lips met in a bruising kiss.
"I knew you wouldn't. I knew you'd come back for me!" Y/n couldn’t help but laugh against her lips, the worry and sadness leaving her body, making her lighter. There were truly no words to describe it, but feeling Natasha’s lips on hers and her green eyes bringing so much warmth and safety into her body, Y/n never wanted to leave again.
Music started playing softly and Nat looked at the girl in her arms. "Can I have this dance, my beautiful wife?" She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, who placed hers loosely around her neck as they started to sway. She didn't know where the music was coming from, but she didn't care. All thst was in her brain was the fact that she was here with Natasha. Finally.
They danced to the music, waltzing around the kitchen, eyes fixated on each other. Y/n felt as giddy as she did when they shared their first kiss, her hands feeling the way Natasha’s hair was so soft as it brushed her fingertips. The way her hands felt on her body gave Y/n a sense of relief and she sighed, resting her head on Natasha’s shoulder. She leaned her head on top of her wife’s and wrapped her arms tighter around her waist, still swaying to the beat. They fit together so perfectly, like a key in a lock.
"I've missed this." Y/n muttered into Natasha’s neck who hummed in agreement.
"Me too" she husked. God, that voice. She’d missed that too.
As the song picked up, Nat released Y/n from her arms and spun her around, twirling her around the floor like a ballerina. The redhead scooped her up in her arms and spun around, their laughter filling the once empty room. Y/n was taller than Natasha when Nat picked her up, so she gazed down at her and grinned, the same look adorning both of their faces. Love. Admiration. Relief.
As Natasha slowly lowered Y/n to the ground, they met each other with another kiss. The song slowly faded away in the background and they gradually stopped moving, but stayed in each other's arms.
"I see you found my converse?" Natasha pointed out, and Y/n turned around to see where she was looking.
"Oh yeah. I picked them up because I didn't know you were here." She couldn’t help but blush.
Natasha bent down and picked them up, handing them back over with a soft look in her eyes. "You keep them. They look better on you anyway." She said, flashing her signature smile.
"Are you sure?" Y/n asked, her brows creasing in the middle. “These were your favourite shoes!"
"I can always get some more if I need them."
Y/n looped the laces around her fingers once more and pulled Nat into another hug, just breathing in her scent. There was no perfume to distract her, just purely Natasha. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as the familiar scent she knew and loved filled her nose. The smell of home.
They finally pulled away and Natasha took a couple of steps back, leaning on the door frame as she had done previously.
"You know I love you Y/N. I always have and I always will. Don't you ever forget that." She said, folding her arms and smiling at the woman in front of her.
"I love you too,” Y/n whispered and Natasha blew her a kiss.
"Y/n?" Another voice called from behind her. It was Yelena this time, the blonde having waited for long enough outside. She placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder and followed her gaze to where Natasha had been stood.
"I love you" Y/n muttered again, tears streaming down her face.
"Y/n who are you talking to?" Yelena asked, worry lacing her words.
"Nat. She's right there." She said, pointing to Natasha in the doorway.
"What? Detka, Nat's not here. What are you talking about?" Yelena asked. Y/n turned around to face her and then looked back to where Natasha was standing.
Or where she was standing. Except now that spot was empty.
She wasn’t there.
"She was there! She was just there! No!" The girl was in distress, shouting and crying as she ran around, checking everywhere in the apartment.
"Y/n what's going on?" Yelena asked hesitantly, her concerned increasing by the second. What had she missed?
“She’s gone! Nat left! She left me again! No, she promised she wouldn’t leave me again.” She was a sobbing mess, collapsing to her knees in the middle of the apartment, no longer caring about the dust that thickly coated the floor. Yelena rushed to her side and knelt down, pulling her into a hug. She rocked the sobbing girl gently, tightening her grip as she felt Y/n clutch at her shirt to ground herself. She was muttering frantically, incoherent sentences flowing into each other.
"Y/n, Nat's gone. She isn't coming back." It was harsh, but Yelena had to say it. The truth stung.
"She was just here." Y/n whimpered. "We danced together. I felt her. She was real!"
"Oh Y/n. That wasn’t real."
"It was real to me!" She pressed her head back into Yelena’s shoulder and continued to cry, laboured breaths dragging themselves through her constricted lungs, clawing at her insides and almost begging to break through her chest.
And the whole time those stupid converse were in her hand.
She never let them go.
They were the last thing Y/n ever got from her.
The only thing close enough to serve as a final reminder.
Of Nat.
Her Nat.
Natasha Romanoff.
Daughter. Sister. Avenger.
Wife.
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starsandhughes · 1 year
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can we have some fluffy sissy and trev??! i feel like we haven’t got much of their relationship like one on one yk?
you’d been in a 5SOS mood lately, so their albums were constantly being played throughout the house. jamie and trevor were out at practice, so you took the chance to finally get some cleaning done.
you were almost done with the CALM album when Trevor and Jamie came home, unbeknownst to you because you were in your own little world.
“love of mine, maybe we’ll take some time. kaleidoscope mind gets in the way,” you sang as you wiped the counter. “hope and i pray, darling, that you will stay. butterfly lies, chase them away.”
your boyfriend came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle and started to (terribly) sing the next lines, “dance around the living room, lose me in the sight of you. i’ve seen the red, i’ve seen the blue. take all of me.”
you jumped at his sudden presence and spun around to playfully smack his arm, “Trevor Zegras! don’t scare me like that!”
Trevor cracked up laughing and leaned in for a quick kiss. You rolled your eyes but threw your arms around his neck to kiss him.
“I missed you,” he said.
“You were gone for four hours!” you giggled. Trevor faked a gasp, “Did you not miss me?! You should miss me the second I leave the room!”
“should i miss you when you go the bathroom?” you teased. Trevor nodded vigorously, “especially then!what if i fall forward and drown? if you didn’t miss me, i could die.”
“i’d pay to see that.”
Trevor gave you an adorable grumpy face, which you mirrored but with your hands on your hips. Trevor quickly moved on when he heard the chorus come on. He grabbed both your hands, put them back around his neck, and placed his on your waist.
“whatcha doing?” you asked sweet.
“dancing with my girl,” he said, as of it was the most obvious thing in the world. “to a song that describes us perfectly.”
Dance around the living room
Lose me in the sight of you
I've seen the red, I've seen the blue
Take all of me
Lead to where your secrets are
Where we've been a thousand times
Swallow every single lie
Take all of me
Trevor extended one of his arms and had you spin out and fully extend your arm as well. he gave you a tag, and you twirled into him, settling with your back against his chest and your arm crossed over your chest. he leaned down and trailed tiny pecks down your neck and aross your shoulder as he sang, “i’ll never give you away, ‘cause i already made that mistake. if my name never fell off your lips, again, i know it’d be such a shame.”
you turned around replaced your arms around his neck to sway with him. he stopped his not-so-bad-after-awhile singing and smiled at you. you resumed your singing to finish the song, “when i take a look at my life, and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that i think i got right. i’ll never give you away, ‘cause i already made that mistake. already made that mistake.”
Trevor grabbed your hand again and lifted up up high so that you could twirl underneath. he smiled wide with pride that he got you to giggle. he released your hands and cupped your face, pulling you into a kiss. when he pulled away, he places one hand on your shoulder and tucked the hair that had fallen in front of your eyes behind your ear.
“i know you’re the only thing i got right,” he said softly.
“sap,” you grinned. he playfully rolled his eyes and kissed you again, “only for you.”
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lovingmattysposts · 5 months
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VERY IMPORTANT
TELL ME WHICH ONE YOU GUYS WANT FOR THE NEXT CHRIS SERIES (im not going to lie this is hard choice bc i love all of these stories so so much)
side note: these are all pre written for the most part but are unfinished and started off as 5sos fics but I’m just changing the names
Story 1: Enemies to Lovers with Chris- Your best Friend is dating Matt and asks you to come stay a few weeks at her lake house for her birthday. The only problem is Chris is going to be there. You hated Chris. You could not spend an entire two weeks with him in an in closed house without someone winding up killed. Then you find out you’re forced to share a room, and you couldn’t stand him.
Story 2: (personal favorite): Bad boy with Rich girl trope: You had the seeming perfect life, perfect parents, perfect house, perfect cars, perfect boyfriend. Everything seems perfect on paper, but peel back the layers and things got messy. You loved your boyfriend Max, but you think you see him kissing another girl and you need revenge. Causing you to see a boy outside who you have no idea will change your world, flipping your life upside down.
Story 3: Loner girl with egotistical maniac famous YouTuber: You lived in a small Town house with your dad, that was connected to a coffee shop. Your life consisted of reading, writing, making coffee and going to therapy. After your mom died, everything seemed dull. Your dad was distant and you had no idea how to even move on when he seem to already have. You see a boy yelling at someone one night when you’re on top of your roof and he catches your eye. Why was he yelling? Why was he so angry? Why was he looking back at you?
let me know which one you want for the next series ❤️ once eastide ends I’ll probably change one of these to a Matt story for the next series
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hischierdevils · 1 year
Text
Lover of Mine | J.M.
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note: big thank you to @rowdyhughesy for encouraging me to finish this! I love writing for john and I’m so glad I have someone to talk about him with. Inspired by Lover of Mine by 5sos.
summary: a late night storm brings out some secret fears
warnings: lots of fluff, slight shark slander
wc: 1.3K
Lead to where your secrets are
Where we've been a thousand times
Swallow every single lie
Take all of me
A crack of thunder jolts you awake in the middle of the night making your heart race. You roll over searching for comfort, only to be met by empty sheets. “John?” You whisper into the darkness as you catch the time on his bedside clock. Where could he be at three in the morning? The bed is cold so you know he didn’t just run to the bathroom. 
A flash of lightning lights up the room as you get out of bed and pad across the floor to the door. Even though you’re expecting it this time, the next crack of thunder still causes you to jump. “John?” You call again softly to the dark apartment. 
You find him in the living room, standing in front of the big window watching the storm light up the sky. He jumps slightly as you wrap your arms around his waist from behind but then he relaxes and turns in your arms to face you. “Hey, baby. Why are you awake?” 
He smooths down your hair on both sides of your head before bending down to place a kiss on your forehead. “The thunder woke me up and you weren’t there.” You pout, hoping he’ll give you a kiss.
He obliges before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tight to his chest. “I’m sorry.” He kisses your head again and you can tell something is bothering him. “I’ll come back to bed.” 
“Why were you out here?” You force yourself to pull away from his warm embrace so you can look at his face. Most of it is in shadow but the faint light from the window allows you to see the worry lines around his mouth and the way his eyes are downcast. You bring your hand up to cup his cheek and he leans into your touch immediately. “What’s wrong?” 
“Nothing.” He lies before turning his head to kiss your palm. “I just couldn’t sleep.” 
“John.” Lightning flashes throughout the room so bright you have to close your eyes followed closely by a rumble of thunder so loud it sounds like it hit your apartment building. You jump and he tightens his hold on you as he moves you both away from the window. “Talk to me.” 
“I had a bad dream.” He admits so quietly you almost don’t hear him. 
Your heart clenches as you look up at him. You know he’s been stressed with the trade deadline approaching. His name hasn’t come up in any trade rumors but that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility. “What was it about?” 
“I got traded…” he confirms your thoughts. “...and we broke up.” 
If my name never fell off your lips again
I know it'd be such a shame
When I take a look at my life
And all of my crimes
You're the only thing that I think I got right
Confessing to his bad dream causes John to relive it all over again. In the dream, you had told him that you were tired of following him around the country for hockey. That you didn’t want to start over in a new city again and that you couldn’t keep doing it year after year, wondering if he’d get traded again. Dream you had told him that it was over, you had to break up with him.  He woke up in a panic with tears on his face as he looked over at your sleeping form. 
You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. The two of you met at Harvard and you had followed him to Pennsylvania and now New Jersey. He knew it wasn’t fair to you but he loved you and couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. 
“I’m not going to break up with you just because you get traded, bub.” You assure him as you reach up to play with one of his curls. “I love you.” 
He smiles and bends down to kiss you. “I love you too.” 
“I’d follow you anywhere.” You tell him as you relax against his chest. “You should know that by now.” 
Doubt continues to creep into his mind. “What if I get traded to Vancouver?” 
You laugh as you step out of his arms and walk to the couch. “I’d prefer somewhere warmer. Maybe San Jose?” John follows you and sits beside you. “You look so good in red though and I don’t like their colors.” 
“Oh yeah?” He laughs as you curl into his side. 
“Yeah.” You yawn. “Maybe Anaheim will be a better color scheme for you.”
He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I love you so much, y/n.” 
“I love you too, pretty boy.” He blushes from the nickname, burying his face in your neck as you run your fingers through his curls. “You’re stuck with me forever.” 
“I’m okay with that.” He mumbles into your skin, causing you to giggle. 
He picks his head up to smile at you and you quickly boop his nose. “You have the cutest little nose.” You tell him. “Hopefully one day our kids have it.” 
“Kids?” His hands tighten on your hips as he looks at you in surprise. “Our kids?”
“I wanna have your babies someday.” You explain as you trace the mole on his cheek with your finger. “Is that okay with you?” 
“It’s more than okay, baby.” He tips his head down to kiss you as he tugs slightly at your hair so you’ll open your mouth for him. He pushes his tongue through your parted lips as you move in his lap so you’re straddling him. He moans softly against you as you begin to rock your hips but a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump off of him. 
He stands up to pull you in for a hug, remembering you said that the thunder woke you up to begin with. “Will you come to bed with me?” You ask him quietly as you rest your head against his racing heart. 
“I have a better idea.” 
Dance around the living room
Lose me in the sight of you
I've seen the red, I've seen the blue
Take all of me
You watch him curiously as he walks over to the stereo and turns it on. A Taylor Swift song that you were listening to earlier starts to play and John walks back over to you to take your hand. “Dance with me.” 
“Bub, it’s the middle of the night.” You hesitate as another flash of lightning lights up the room, illuminating John in a white glow. “You have practice tomorrow.” 
He tugs on your hand, pulling you close to him so he can rest his free hand on your hip. “I wanna dance with my girl.” He gives you a quick peck before spinning you around. 
The sound of your giggles makes him feel like his heart is about to burst. “You’re such a goof.” You tell him as goes to dip you. 
“But I am your goof, forever.” He tells you once he’s holding you a few inches from the floor. 
You smile, a little breathless before he brings you back up. “And I'm yours, bub.”
As the two of you dance around the living room, you wonder how you got so lucky with him. He’s on the quieter side most of the time and more reserved than most of his teammates but he’s always given all of himself to you. 
Moments like this, dancing around the dark living room at three am with a thunderstorm as music, is what made you fall for him in the first place. It’s what you think about when he’s on the road and what keeps you following him city to city.
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serafilms · 5 months
Text
song 23! try hard (5sos) + park sunghoon (spotify wrapped event)
she’s so out of reach, and i’m finding it hard ‘cause she makes me feel, makes me feel, like i try, like i try, like i’m trying too hard
happy birthday sunghoon! wrote this one especially without being requested because 23 is his jersey number and i wanted to celebrate him today :) hope he has the best day + year
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Today starts out just like any other: Sunghoon wakes up thinking of you. Actually, technically his first thought was ‘Wow, I’m one year older today,’ but his next thought was about whether or not you’d wish him a happy birthday, so it still counts.
He checks his phone and fights his disappointment when he doesn’t see a text from you. Instead, he’s flooded both in the group chat and his private messages with well wishes. He sends polite ‘Thank you’s’ to his relatives, tells the guys to ‘fuck off’ in their group chat, and laughs at Jake’s very lengthy and emotional private text, which Sunghoon is sure his friend cried while writing.
Riki facetimes him seconds after seeing that he’s awake and tells him he’d better have his house ready for their joint birthday party tonight.
“Seriously, if your backyard is a mess when I get there, I’m going to clog your toilet so people piss in the yard and then you have to clean everything properly.” Ah, what an angel. “Happy birthday, by the way.”
“Thanks, Riki.”
Then the younger hangs up, leaving a promise that he and the others will arrive before lunch for their planned ‘pre-party group only birthday pizza party’ and to help set up for the ‘real party.’ Sunghoon looks around his bedroom. It’s a little messy, because he lives in it so of course it is, but he knows the rest of his house is in order.
He already obsessively panic cleaned the whole place three days ago, when Jay confirmed that he’d sent you an invite. Man, he hopes you show up tonight. Not that he cares that much, of course (he cares very, very much). Because caring too much is bad, Sunghoon thinks. He can’t show his weakness, even when he is extremely weak. He wonders if he really has gone too far in his delusions and might now be descending into madness.
You care about him, or at least he thinks so, but you always seem so far above him, out of reach (“Is Y/N out of my league?” he asked once, chewing on his burger. “Yes,” chorused his friends. Lovely).
Sunghoon sighs and looks around at his room then begins to clean it up. He can’t have you seeing this mess (not that he’s being presumptuous in assuming you will be in his room or anything! This is Purely Hypothetical).
It’s only after he’s finished, and opened his presents from his family, and received the cake that his mother had delivered for him and the guys to enjoy that he finally opens the door and sees their faces.
Jake immediately tackles him in a hug, and Sunghoon feels like he can’t breathe as he squeezes him and shakes him around. His chest warms with happiness though, and through Jake’s shaking he glimpses Jungwon, Riki and Sunoo in front of him. Jake finally releases him and speaks.
“Sorry we’re late! We stopped for churros.”
Sunghoon furrows his brow. “You brought churros for the party?”
“No, I wanted churros,” Sunoo says, then takes a big bite. “Wan’ some?”
“I’m good,” he replies.
Riki pats Sunghoon on the back, then barges past him into the house and immediately begins examining it like some sort of teenage home inspector.
“Happy birthday,” says Sunoo, then follows Riki inside and immediately throws himself on the couch to finish his churro.
Jungwon repeats the sentiment then adds, “Jay and Heeseung are picking up the drinks and pizzas, they’ll be here soon.”
Thank god I made friends with Jay all those years ago, Sunghoon thinks, feeling very touched, Who else is rich enough to fund their friend’s birthday party?
“Very cool,” he replies, then drags Jungwon and Jake inside.
The other two arrive soon after and they enjoy a nice party without interruption for about 20 minutes until Sunghoon checks his phone and feels himself frown at it being void of notifications.
Are you busy, or did you forget his birthday? Do you just not care about him? If so, you should. He wore ripped jeans to impress you. He bleached his hair in the hopes you’d notice him (though that was also because he lost a bet with Jay). Is he just trying too hard?
“What’s up with you?” Heeseung asks him as he slaps a slice of pizza on top of another to make what is effectively a pizza sandwich.
“Nothing,” he mumbles.
Riki snatches his phone out of his hands and looks at the screen, where Sunghoon’s texts with you are open. “He’s pissy his girlfriend hasn’t texted him yet.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Sunghoon says sadly, and Jake gives him a pat on the back in consolation.
“Don’t even stress,” says Sunoo airily. Sunghoon doesn’t like how unaffected he seems. Shouldn’t everyone wallow in his despair with him since it’s his birthday?
The younger continues, “I asked her yesterday and she said she’ll definitely be here. So we just need to make sure you look super hot tonight.”
He feels a flicker of hope arise in him.
“It’ll probably take a lot of work, but we’ve got time.”
The flicker sizzles and dies. He glowers at Sunoo. “Gee, thanks.”
However, true to his word, Sunoo makes sure that Sunghoon does look super hot. It’s actually insane how hot he looks. He admires himself in the mirror. Maybe being a try hard isn’t such a bad thing if he ends up looking as gorgeous as this.
The party starts without a hitch and is soon in full swing. His friends are all starting to get very drunk (except Jungwon and Riki, because Riki is waiting until midnight for the sake of integrity and Jungwon is a Good friend who is waiting with him) and Sunghoon feels himself getting a little cloudy minded too. But as he stumbles a little through the hall, he still can’t see you.
But there is someone who looks just like you at the end of the hall and in the kitchen right now. He walks towards them, squinting a little and hearing them laugh and say goodbye to someone who’s evidently leaving the kitchen. Wow, they even sound like you. As he enters the room, the person perks up and greets him, and when he blinks the blurriness out of his eyes, you appear in front of him.
Oh. “Hi Y/N,” Sunghoon says, flushing.
“Hey Sunghoon, happy birthday.” God, your smile is pretty. Your outfit is pretty too, and your hair and your face and your hands, where…
There’s a wrapped box in your hands, and you follow his gaze down to it, then start in surprise as if just remembering it. “Oh, yeah, this is for you! Where should I put it?”
Sunghoon is still trying to comprehend that you’re really here and talking to him as he tells you, “Just on the table is fine.”
Okay. This is his chance. Now or never. “Do you want to go to the backyard for a bit? I need some air.”
Maybe he’s hallucinating a little because of the alcohol (or delusion) but he swears you blush. “Sure.”
You follow him out to the back. He’s surprisingly steady for someone who’s had as many drinks as he has, and stops out on the back porch, turning to face you.
You clear your throat as he tries to get his pounding heart under control. “So how’s your day been so far?”
He can hear it beating in his eardrums, and hopes you can’t hear it too. “Yeah, good, good. Um, can’t really complain. I ate pizza.”
Sunghoon is really not sure what to say now. But apparently the alcohol in his system does, as he’s speaking before he’s even processed the words.
“Can I kiss you?” he says at the same time as you say, “I have another present for you.”
The both of you stare at each other for a moment, not having heard the other’s words. “What?” you ask.
Sunghoon feels his stomach churn and hears an alarm go off in his head. “Um, it’s nothing. You go first.”
You look away shyly for a second. Yep, you’re definitely blushing, he thinks. “I said I have another present for you. I was kind of waiting for the right time to give it to you.”
He’s surprised, if nothing else. “You didn’t have to get me two presents.”
He’s also curious. “So what is it?”
“Can you close your eyes?” You’re avidly avoiding his gaze.
Sunghoon obeys, and the darkness behind his eyes makes him all the more aware of the sound of his heart. He’s nervous and scared and anxious and frightened, and then all of it is melting away because your lips press themselves to his and you’re kissing him. You’re kissing him, and he’s kissing you. Sunghoon’s stomach flutters and he brings his hands to your waist. It’s a very good kiss, and he can taste a little bit of cake on your tongue as it deepens.
Then you’re pulling back and Sunghoon is metaphorically and literally breathless. You kissed him. He kissed you.
“Happy birthday, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon’s face breaks out into a grin and he takes your hand, lacing your fingers together. He tugs you into his chest and looks down at you. “Thanks.”
And he kisses you again.
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Note
Prompts 10 and 14 with reader and Dick Grayson please
Brotherly Love
Short story
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Warnings: None.
Is this similar to (THIS POST!)? Yes.
Is it still cute? Yes.
Series Masterlist
~☆~
Dick had been staying at the Manor, it was nice. Usually, he was away in Blüdhaven, where he lived.
His presence brung a new vibe to the house. You could especially notice this when the bass of a pop song was traveling through every crevice of the residence. You had lost count of how many times the song he was listening to would loop. But the clock in your wall had told you how long it's been happening. The scarce knowledge of music that you have and the repetitive use of certain words had urged you to open up your phone and use the search engine.
"I'm bringin' sexy back
You motherfuckers watch how I attack"
SexyBack!
By...Justin Timberlake?
Now you had a name for the song that's stuck its self to your brain like glue.(and apparently Dicks)
You quickly hopped out of bed and into the hallway, using your muscle memory to take you to a certain brother of yours room.
You knocked loudly. "Dick!"
No response.
"Richard!" You yelled, banging on his door.
No response.
The vibrations from the music were much more noticeable as you stood in front of his door. You could feel every change in the bass as you grabbed the door handle. Slowly, you cracked open the door, hoping that you don't see anything that you don't want to. Thankfully, Dick was just sitting on his bed. You fully opened the door, causing him to look up and reach for his phone, finally turning down the song that has been playing on repeat.
"Hey, I just wanted to check if you're okay. You've been listening to SexyBack on repeat for an hour." You revealed. You watched as an overjoyed smile subconsciously formed on his lips.
"You know Justin?" He asked.
"No, I have never met Justin."
Dick let an abrupt shout of laughter fall from his lips. He leaned forward as all of the air left his body.
"Anyway, I'm going to see an old friend." He stated, standing up and showing off his outfit. "Do I look good?"
You let a smile curl on your lips. "No."
"Very funny." He whispered, rolling his eyes at you.
~☆~
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231 notes · View notes
ninthskzmember · 4 months
Text
Birthday, debut. Part II.
Part one
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idol!skz word count: 2,1k. many curses! jealous hyunjin. protagonist gets scolded many times (middle child shit). fluff, angst.
As I walked to the kitchen to grab something to eat before rushing out to the location I was going to debut, I saw the kitchen and living room filled up to the top with pink balloons all over.
“The fuck?" I whispered to myself while walking in slow motion through the place.
“HAPPY DEBUT!" The other eight members were waiting for me with a gigantic cake on the counter.
You could see a gigantic sign strikethrough attached to the curtain that you could read 'happy birthday' and a handwritten 'debut' under the 'birthday'. That was clearly Minho.
"Guys!" I laughed. "Why are y'all spoiling me so much?" I made my way to them, hugging them one by one.
"Because you're our girl! And we are excited for you." Jisung said this while hugging me by the shoulders.
"In my defense, I was forced to," Seungmin joked, with a big smile on his face and his arms wide open, waiting for me to feel the warmth of his body.
"Yeah, he's saying that like he wasn't the one who inflated the balloons." Chan teased him.
"I was just doing a favor. Y'all have weak ass lungs." The young one teased back, winning a punch from Minho.
"That's mean." I said while hugging him.
"He is mean." Jeongin added to my statement, "Stay think Lee Know Hyung is mean, just because they don't know about the real firece from Skz."
"Nah." I said while pulling away from the main vocalist. "The firece one is actually me. I'm the girl living with eight men."
"Not as if we were that bad," the maknae laughed while welcoming me into his arms.
"You're right, it could be worse."
"Yeah, imagine living with those friends of yours." Hyunjin said, making reference to the 5SOS guys.
"That was actually uncalled for." I rolled my eyes while smiling. "I actually don't think they're that disgusting."
"No, we know you don't think that." Chan added with a smirk on his face.
"How's Calum doing?" Obviously, it was Seuingmin who addressed the elephant in the room.
"I actually don't know; thank you, Seungmin." I rolled my eyes as I hugged the rest as a thank you for the detail in celebrating the debut.
"Oh, but you received a call like ten minutes ago, honey," Hyunjin said again.
"She did?" I heard Minho's voice, not so sleepy this time.
"Yeah, she did." Felix was watching my every movement and scanning my features to see my reactions.
"Yeah, Luke called." I avoided every look in my way. "Actually, it was Luke's phone, but in the call, I spoke with him, Ash, and Mike." I nodded while I was looking through the things in the kitchen cupboard to make some coffee.
"Here." Minho stopped me and gave me a mug with coffee.
"Thank you." I gave him a soft smile.
"They're here" Hyunjin didn't even look at me; he was talking straight to Felix.
"Oh, alright." Felix spoke while thinking hard.
"Calum is not? Dang it, I really liked the  guy."Seungmin teased, and, again, he won a punch from Minho. "Hyung, you're hitting hard," he said, rubbing his stomach.
"It will be harder if you don't shut the fuck up when you need to." The older one flashed a smile and looked back at me, inversed in the conversation like the rest of the boys.
"It's alright," Chan said after a while. "Just remember, you're our member. Don't get lost with them again."
"Yeah, I know that." I agreed, "Calum is not here anyway, so no need to worry about anything."
Chris looked at me incredulously.
"What?" I blinked a few times.
"You're running very late. Drink that, and we'll see you at the event. I'll talk to you later, MoonJin." He scolded me without actually scolding me.
I really don't know what that's about.
"I'll drive you; swallow all that." Minho said, hurrying me.
"If you were somebody else, I'd be turned on by that, you know." The words came out of my mouth without consent.
"OH GOD!" Jisung closed his eyes and covered his ears, making us laugh.
"You really are a little him, huh?" Changbin said with a disgusted face.
"I trained her well." Minho let a smirk out again. "Let's go." He slapped the cheeks of my ass slightly, hurrying me.
You think that since I'm a girl, he wouldn't slap my ass? Well, you're wrong. I get the exact same treatment as the rest.
I did what he asked me to and drank my coffee as a tequila shot.
"Let's go." I smiled and took the keys to the dorm, my bag, and my sunglasses. "Bye guys; see you in a while." I said, waving my hand to the other seven boys.
"Break a leg!" Changbin waved back.
"Be careful; I love you." Felix said
"I love you, Lix." I smiled at him "Byeee."
Minho practically dragged me out of the place to the car.
"Did you open the gift?" He asked once we were inside the vehicle.
"Oh god, I completely forgot! It's still in our bedroom. Hyunjin took all my attention." I laughed it off.
"You're the worst birthday gal, like, ever!" He protested while he began to drive to the studio.
"I'm not! I actually thanked you right away."
"Yeah, but you didn't even open it because your boyfriend arrived with a bouquet of roses." I flashed a glance at me and went back to the road. "Those aren't even the ones you like," he chuckled.
"He's not my boyfriend. And I like roses, though." I raised my eyebrows.
"Yeah, you prefer jasmines though," he imitated my tone.
"But I do like roses." I glanced at him and checked my phone.
"Happy 19th one."
His contact name appeared on my screen, and I let out a little playful laughter, catching my oppa's attention.
"I honestly hope that's Ryujin with a dirty text rather than what I think it is."
"I don't know what y'all's problem with Cal is." I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Not as if he fucked you and left you in for like a week or so. Not to mention your cries every other day AND all the heartbreak songs you wrote."
"Thank you for remembering that," I said, raising my eyebrows. "It was like a decade ago."
"The hearbreak ones were fire, though," he kept teasing. "You check in and out of my heart like it's a hotel, and she must be perfect; oh, well, I hope you both go to hell." He sang nicely. "BANGER." He smiled playfully. "Hyunjin-ah won't like that message."
"As I said, he's not my boyfriend." I looked at Minho through my eyelashes, blinking a few times.
"Don't make puppy eyes," he said, rolling his eyes, and I could see his ears turning a slightly pink color. "I won't be on your side, Moonlight."
"There's no side, Oppa."
"Yes, there are. I'm telling you this before Hyung scolds you in front of the rest of the boys… Don't get lost and be seen around with them, MoonJin. It's not good for your image or Jinnie's feelings." His tone was serious.
"But…"
"You already fucked him up with the Calum thing."
"As if he did not do the same with Lia," I fought back. "Everything I do is in response to something that I've been through, so, no, I did not fuck his feelings up. At least not first."
"Revenge is not good."
"And you're the one saying that?" I really laughed.
"I'm serious." He laughed along slightly. "Okay, we're close." He turned right. "Anxious?"
"I'm already missing the chaos." I pouted
"We'll be there as soon as possible, Moonlight." He smiled, "Go get ready and slay the fuck out of your debut. Be the envy of every other Idol debut ever."
"Alright, thank you, Oppa. I will be waiting for you." I smiled at him while he stopped the car to let me out. "I love you." I hugged him quickly, got out of the vehicle, and ran into the building.
I'm already lost without my boys.
[...]
"Nineteens Kitsch" I sang the last line of the song, and the audience screamed with all their strength, including my boys in the front row while I was posing for the fairy ending.
"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!" Chris started chanting, and soon our members and the audience joined him, wishing me a happy birthday. "Happy birthday, dear MoonJin! Happy birthday to you!"
"Thank you," I said shyly.
"Happy birthday, Moon Jin-ssi!" Lee Dae-hwi and Han Hyun-min approached me.
"Thank you so much." I bowed at everybody.
"All your friends are here!"
"They are." I smiled while looking at my members, and I know I've got heart eyes at this very moment. I just love them with my whole self.
Chris found me at my lowest and decided to pick me up and rescue me. I will be forever grateful to him. And obviously, the boys received me with open arms.
While I was looking at them, I saw frame by frame how Hyunjin's face turned from a joyful smile and heart eyes for me to his slightly scary, serious face. Felix too, and then I heard a loud laugh from Seungmin.
I looked over to the big screen, and there they were. The four guys. The audience went nuts, and my ears were burning.
"Oh," I said as my eyes became wide, as if I'd seen a ghost.
Luke, Mike, Ash, and Calum were waving at the cameras now all over them.
Chan, obviously, as professional as always, was clapping at them, yet made the time to send me a glance. I immediately made eye contact with Minho, who had a slightly fun expression on his face.
Changbin didn't really know what happened with them, but he had an idea, so you could say they weren't his favorite people. Hyunjin was trying not to show it, but I know him so well. He's so mad right now.
Okay, bare with me in this one. Jisung isn't really the kind to be pissed off, but, oh God, his expression right now is not like anything I've seen before on his face. It was like a pre-debut Han made it's appearance. On the other hand, Felix is always sunshine; we all know that, but his forced smile made me laugh internally. Yongbok held me so many nights while I was crying, he won't forgive as fast as I did.
Yes, Seungmin is a menace. He likes to tease so much and make fun of others for his own entertainment, but I have no doubts that if Calum came close to me by himself, his protective sibling mode would be turned on and he wouldn't move from my side. He's always like that; when interviewers start to make strange questions or remarks, he's always the one to call them out on shit. Jeongin just bluntly isn't even trying to hide it; he really doesn't give a shit, and I love him for that.
But, back to the main subject: What the fuck is Calum doing here? I thought it'd be just the other three coming, but on the other hand, I do understand that it'd be suspicious. Last time, Dispatch caught me and Cal fooling around being all dovely lovely.
I thanked them and the fans a few more times and went backstage. It only took like one minute and thirty two seconds to have my members with me
"I thought you said only Luke, Ashton, and Michael were coming." Hyunjin said so once his eyes landed on me.
"I thought that too." I looked at him innocently.
"Oh, don't puppy-eye me." He crossed his arms on top of his chest.
"Congratulations, Moonlight." Minho interrupted and gave me a hug.
"You really have a soft spot for her, don't you?" Jisung asked when he appeared through the door.
"So now Hyunjin is jealous of Calum, and you're jealous of me?" I laughed while still in the older man's arms.
"Why would Hyunjin be jealous of Calum?" Jisung made a disgusting face, and I quickly looked at Minho for some kind of salvation.
"Calum's real tall." Nice try, oppa.
"Yeah, but I'm a better dancer." Hyunjin added
"Sing better" Jisung and I said simultaneously, and the room broke into laughter.
"Hello." A familiar voice was heard, and I fucking knew it. I didn't even want to turn around and see
It's the Australian accent for me.
To be continued...
80 notes · View notes
unfxrgetwble · 8 months
Text
through time
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Paring: Calum Hood x fem!reader
Warning: swearing & crying
Summary: Watching 5sos play Gotta Get Out makes you look back over the past ten years.
Word count: 3k
Author’s note: this is the first fanfic i have written since i was like 14 so plz be nice <3
enjoy!
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
2021
5SOS SHOW
You have been friends with the boys since the beginning of their career. You were one of the 11 people at their first show. You went to their rehearsals at Luke's moms house. And now you were sitting on the side watching them record their 10 year anniversary show. They were filming Gotta Get Out and your mind starts having flashbacks to the past 10 years.
2011
You are there sitting behind the camera as Luke and Michael tune their guitars and Calum and Ash set up the mics. They all sit down on their respective seats. You give them a countdown and then start the camera. Luke starts to play the guitar followed by ash on the drums (whatever that thing is). You make eye contact with calum and blush. You knew the boys from school and had a small crush on Calum so when Luke asked you to help with the video you obviously said yes. You had a little bit of experience with videography. By the time you zone back in they had finished the song. You told them you would edit it and get it back to them. You head back home and edit the video and send it back to them. The next day calum sees you after school
“(Y/N) (Y/N)” Cal is practically screaming. You whip your head around to see who is screaming at you. “We are going viral” he says out of breath.
“Wait, slow down cal. What? Y’all are going viral?” You say questioning.
“The video you edited for us, it’s going viral” he says as he finally catches his breath.
“That’s amazing! I’m so happy for you” you say, grabbing his shoulders. He pulls you into a hug out of excitement. It takes you a second to realize that he is hugging you then you hug back. You both pull away with red tinting both of your cheeks.
“Me and the boys would like it if you helped with our videos from now on.”
You agreed and from then on you helped with all of their video stuff from covers to vlogs.
2013
You were there when they launched their first ep. You were there when they went to London. You were sitting with them when Heartbreak Girl hit 1 million views. You were there for the try hard music video. When they told you that they were going on tour with 1D you were over the moon. You were so proud of them. When they asked you to go with them you almost started crying because that meant that you got to meet the One Direction. Of course you said yes. You went to America with them and helped film and edit the LA Vlogs. You traveled the world with them and you became so close with all of them. But you grew extremely close to calum. You would say he was your best friend. You still had your crush on him but you never said anything. You had also grown kinda close to Niall which made Calum a little jealous but he never brought it up.
2014
Release of 5 Seconds of Summer
You went on the Rock Out With Your Socks Out Tour that supported the album. Calum’s feelings for you had grown but he had always pushed them to the back of his mind due to fear of messing up the dynamic of your friendship with the band and also out of fear of the public. He had seen how other celebrities’ girlfriends had gotten hate and didn’t want you to experience that. But Luke, Micheal and Ash knew how you both felt and tried to get yall together but it just went right over both of your
2015
The release of SGFG
There were so many people there and you didn’t know a lot of them. You were always behind the camera. People knew of you but you were never in the spotlight. You were always the support. And now you were in a room full of people who live in the spotlight. There were flashing lights and loud music so you found a small couch in the corner and were sitting by yourself.
“(Y/n) how are you enjoying the party,” Luke had come up to me without me knowing.
“God Luke, you can’t sneak up on me like that dude.”
“Sorry man, I just saw you sitting by yourself and came to check on you” he says sympathetically.
“I’m okay I just don’t know a lot of people here,” you say quietly.
“Well I think Cal is looking for you and you know him” he says in a teasing tone while poking your side.
“Shut up please, I’ll go find him in a little bit” you say, slapping his hand away. He gets up, gives you a wink and then turns to leave. Now you are sat there thinking about all the feelings you have for Cal that you have bottled up over the past 4 years. You have been with him and the band for so long. You loved him. You couldn’t deny it much longer. When you were with him you were always laughing. He knew you like the back of his hand and vice versa. When you were upset you would always make you laugh by telling a stupid joke or something along those lines. When he was upset you would always help him work it through. He loved you for that. You were so intune with your emotions and gave the best advice. You were about to get up to find him and you see him standing there in the light looking like a god. He had on a graphic tee with black skinny jeans and converse. He looked beautiful in the lights. You get and walk over to him.
“(Y/N) you look amazing tonight, are you having fun?” He says yelling over the music.
“ Hey Cal, you look great, I’m having fun, Luke said you were looking for me” you yell.
“ Well I’m always looking for you”he says winking “but i just wanted to check on you, make sure you were having fun.”
You are slightly blushing now that you were used to him flirting. “Yeah, I’m having a good time, i might go home soon. You know this isn’t really my scene.”
“Aww (Y/n), please don’t go. We can have fun, I promise.”
“Idk cal, you know I’m not the party type.”
“(Y/n) please don’t make me beg.” He says starting to get on his knees. Now you are beet red. You grab Calum's arms and pull him up.
“Fine cal, I’ll stay” His face lights up as he pulls you into a hug. You end up having an amazing time. Playfully flirting back and forth all night.
2018
The release of Youngblood.
You went on tour with them for the Meet You There Tour. After one of the LA shows you all went to a bar to celebrate. You sat at the bar waiting to get a drink, the boys were sat up in the VIP section with drinks in their hands. While you are waiting for your drink, you look over and see Cal sat next to this beautiful girl. She had long blonde hair in a tight beautiful dress. You couldn’t help but feel a little jealous. So after you got your drink you continued to sit at the bar instead going back to the VIP section. You then felt a little tap on your shoulder , you turn around and see the one and only Niall Horan. You stood up and gave him a hug.
“Niall, oh my goodness, it's so good to see you. It’s been years. How have you been?” You say stepping back from your hug.
“Oh (Y/n), it is amazing to see you. I am good. You look amazing!” He says gesturing to you.
“Thank you so much Niall.” You say as you finish your drink, then ask for another one. You are hammering back drinking while having a conversation with Niall. By the end of your 30 minute long conversation you are pretty drunk. At this point you are telling Niall about how you are in love with Cal and you are jealous of the girl who was sitting next to him.
“(Y/n), what girl? Calum is sitting by himself staring at you”, he says matter of factly.
“What are you talking about? There was a gorgeous girl sitting next to him. She was all over him” you say, kind of slurring your words. He turns your body to look at the VIP section and Cal was sitting there by himself staring you down.
Calum had just sat down when this blonde girl came over to him. He looks over at her as she sits down. She starts to speak and he’s pretending to listen. He didn’t want to talk to other girls, he was just waiting on you to get back to save him. He finally realizes that you are taking so long so he turns away from the girl to see you hugging Niall. He watched as you talk to Niall and he has a pain in his chest. He watches you talk to Niall and you look absolutely stunning. All the feelings of jealousy from when they were on tour with 1D came rushing back. At this point the girl had gotten up because Cal was ignoring her. When Niall turn you towards him, you make eye contact with him. He stands up and walks over you. Niall says hey to cal and gives him a hug and hands you off to him.
“(Y/n) how much have you had to drink?” He says with worry as you almost fall out of your chair.
“I have no idea but why do you care? Why don’t you go talk to that blonde chick.” You slurred with an attitude.
“ What are you taking about?” He says and then you point in the direction of the girl. He looks over his shoulder and scoffs.
“I didnt want to talk to her. I was waiting on you to save me and you didn’t come back.” He states as he helps you stand.” Im taking you home. You are so drunk.”
You finally made it outside and you can’t help but stare at him. He is wearing black jeans, a white button up with a leather jacket and black boots. He looked so good.
“ Cal, I can’t do this much longer” you say with tears brimming your eyes.
“Do what (Y/n)?” He asked, confused.
“ I can’t keep watching girls obsess over you and not be able to call you mine. I'm so in love with you it hurts. I have liked you for the past 7 years, and I never said anything because I didn’t want to hold you back but seeing you with that gorgeous girl hurt. I couldn’t stop telling Niall about you. I talked about you almost the whole time. You are everything I have ever wanted. You are so kind and so thoughtful. You always know how to make me laugh and cheer me up when I’m crying. I don’t ever want to lose you but I can't sit back and not tell you how I feel. I just have to get it out. My feelings for you are so strong I just have to tell you.” At this point you are crying, tears streaming down your face. Calum looks so conflicted. There are so many thoughts running through his head. He is so happy that you liked him back, he was confused as why you thought that he was interested in other girls. He was sad that you were crying and he didn’t know what to do. After a good minute of silence he grabs your face, wipes your tears, and kisses you. You were shocked and it took you a second to kiss him back.
“You are drunk, lets get you home and we can talk about it in the morning.” He says and he takes your hand and starts walking home. The next morning you wake up with a headache and an arm wrapped around your waist. You turn around to see Cal laying next to you.
“Good morning, love.” He says with a deep morning voice.
“Goodmorning, what happened last night?” You ask with worry on your face.
“Well you got jealous, got drunk and then confessed your love to me, and then when we back here you told me you didnt want to sleep alone so i stayed over” he says nonchalantly.
“Fuck. Cal Im so sorry, I didnt want to tell you because I didnt want to make things weird between us, you are my best friend.” You put your head in your hands embarrassed.
“Do you mean it?” He ask.
‘What?’
“Do you mean it (Y/n)?”
“Yeah” you say looking at him. He grabs your face and he kisses you. You kiss back, and you felt a spark. When you finally pull away he just looks at you.
“(Y/n) I practically begged Luke to ask you to film that video. I have had a crush on you since year 9. I never had a reason to talk to you but I knew you liked videography so I mentioned you to the boys and Luke said you were friends. I would not leave him alone until he asked you. There were so many times that I wanted to confess by undying love for you but I chicken out. Like at the release party for Sounds Good Feels Good. Luke came up to me and told me that I should do it and that he told you that I was looking for you but when I saw you I got nervous. You are my dream girl but I never wanted to put you in a weird position and I didnt want you to get hate if you did like me back.” He confesses while holding your face in his hands.
2020
The release of CALM
You were in lockdown with your boyfriend of three years, Calum. You had kept your relationship with him a secret and the fans didn't think anything different because you were always around. They had their theories but they have had them since the boys got big, but you were a pretty private person. You had just made dinner for you and Cal. You had made your plates, feed Duke, and you make your way to Cal’s office to give him his dinner because he is on a call with the boys. You walk in, place his food down and kiss his head and as your are about to leave he just kinda looks at you with worry in his eyes.
“What’s wrong babe?” You ask with a worried look on your face. He looks at the computer then tells the boys he will be right back and puts himself of mute.
“Love, this is live. So now I think this means our relationship is public.”
“What?” You ask with shock on your face.
“You just called me babe and kissed me on stream.” He says calmly.
“Are you mad at me?” You ask holding is hand in yours.
“What? No love, I’m not mad at all. It is kinda funny, and now i get to finally post all of the cute pictures i have of you and duke.” He says with the laugh you love so much.
“Okay baby. Im sorry to interrupt,” and you kiss him as you leave. He goes back to the live stream and says “Well I guess its out, that is my girlfriend (Y/n). Some of you might know her she used to film all our vlogs back in like 2014. She has been friends with us since the beginning.” Luke chimes in with “be nice to her” and Michael and Ash backing him up. As you get back to the kitchen to eat Duke jumps up in your lap and you decide to check twitter and you are getting so many followers and many tweets of the clip from the live stream. You got a little bit of hate but so much love. You decide to tweet a picture of Cal and duke with the caption “now that we are public, here is a picture that Cal took on my phone of him and duke” and immediately there were so many replies and it was mainly people saying that they were excited for all the cal content they would get. It made you giggle but you shut your phone off and finished your dinner.
2021
5SOS SHOW
As all those memories flood though your mind you begin to tear up. Watching the boys sing Gotta Get Out has reminded you of where they had come from and how proud of them you were. You have watched them grow and come so far. They had just finished singing and Calum looks over to you and walks over to you. He grabs your face and looks into your eyes.
“My love, what’s wrong?” He says kind of giggling.
“I'm just so proud of you and the boys. I was there when you first filmed this song and I have watched you all grow so much. I'm just so proud of y’all.” You say as tears stream your face. Chrystal and Sierra had seen you crying and were right by your side. You had grown very close to the girls over the last couple of years. Soon all the boys were all around you too. The girls had heard your explanation to Cal, but the boys were so concerned. You looked at Cal standing next to Ash, Micheal, and Luke and started crying more. They just look at Cal with so much concern.
You finally calm down and say, “I am so proud of you boys. I have loved being able to be here throughout your entire careers, you have done huge things and seeing you play that song the same way it was the first time I heard it was surreal. I have watched you go from 14 year old boys to men and it is amazing. You guys are my family and I’m just so proud.”
They all gather around you and give you a big group hug.
“We wouldn’t be the people we are today without you (N/n),” Luke says.
“You were our rock during so many crazy times,” Ashton adds.
“You helped shape 5sos, you kept us going when we wanted to quit,” Micheal blurted out.
You were in full blown tears now, and cal looks at you and says “You were what we needed when we didn't know we needed it. You are the band's backbone. You may not have been in the spotlight, and you may have not told you but we love you and like what Luke says we wouldn’t be here without you. We love you. But I think I love you in a bit of a different way though.” He kisses you on the head and you give him a big hug and when you pull away you give Luke, Micheal, and Ash hugs.
★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★
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lveclouds · 8 months
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↬ pairing/characters: joshua x film major reader, other members may make appearances/be mentioned 
↬ genre/aus: heavy fluff, slight angst (finally i know), slight college/university au, established relationship, song au, hurt/comfort 
↬ summary: in which joshua just wants his significant other to just be with him, cut off from the world.
↬ rating(s): pg15, nc17 (see warnings) 
↬ tw: heavy swearing, slight angst (listen y’all know i can’t not write a bit of angst slkjfjdjf), kinda cheesy and very fluffy, you’ve been warned <3 joshua is an absolute sweetheart wbk, brief mentions of stress (being a uni student is a constant struggle), reader is a bit of a workaholic
↬ wc: 2.9k
↬ note: hello loves! the title of this fic comes from the song ‘disconnected’ by 5sos, which is honestly one of my favorite songs from them (esp after seeing it live in concert recently) even to this day. it’s just so cute and evokes all the emotions in me okay :(( anyways this fic was another spur of the moment idea (are y’all even surprised at this point lmao) and i decided to write for joshua, as i haven’t written anything for him yet (i do have another joshua fic in my drafts rn hehe) also yes this fic will be cheesy, you have been warned <3
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joshua eyed the macbook balanced on your lap with utter disdain, wishing he could pry the device from your hands, make you focus on him instead, but he knew his efforts would only be in vain. you had come home from a long day of classes, ranting incessantly about how cruel your professors were for assigning a shit ton of work over the course of three days no less, and he had listened attentively to every word, despite the exhaustation from comeback preparations weighing down on him. 
you had given him a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing into his room to take a quick shower, and had come out fifteen minutes later dressed in loose, black sweatpants and one of his shirts, the latter practically a dress on your small form. 
joshua’s heart had squeezed at the sight, for seeing you in his clothes was something he’d never get used to, even after three years of dating. that fluttering feeling quickly dissipated when you plopped down next to him on the living room couch with your macbook in hand. 
“you have homework?” he had asked, trying to keeping his voice as casual as possible, and you’d simply let out a noncommittal grunt in response. “my introduction to film studies professor wants a five page analysis on the great gatsby, and it’s due on friday, which means i only have a few days to finish it.” 
joshua had bit back a retort, refraining himself from reminding you that it was only monday, for heavens sake, but decided against it. “how long is it going to take you?” your expression had gone soft, and you’d leaned over to press a soft kiss on his cheek. “two or three hours, give or take, i’ll try and finish this paper soon, and then i’m all yours, okay? just give me two or three hours.”
and because joshua knew he couldn’t deny you anything, he’d conceded. so, here he was, trying his absolute hardest to focus on a movie that didn’t really interest him in the first place, silently counting down the hours in his head. 
five minutes had turned into ten, ten into fifteen, fifteen into twenty, and so on. time trickled on slowly, and joshua had become utterly convinced that watching paint dry was more entertaining than the movie currently playing on the tv. 
he wasn’t even sure what it was about, and nothing about piqued his interest, for all he could think about was you, wearing his t-shirt and balancing that fucking macbook on your lap, eyes practically glued to the screen. 
joshua hadn’t really thought of himself as a clingy person, in fact, even the other members thought so, with hoshi pointing out how, ever since he’d started dating you, he’d practically run out of the rehearsal room once the choreographer deemed practice over, eager to get home to you. 
you had taken up permanent residence in the dorms, and the members even had one of their managers make a key for you so that you could head straight there in between or after classes to rest. joshua was surprised that management had been okay with it, among all things. 
he and the rest of the members had been extremely busy with comeback preparations, and the past few weeks had a whirlwind of activity, with arduous dance practices, album photoshoots, recording sessions in woozi’s personal studio, and so on. 
the group finally had a few days off from comeback preparations, and joshua was determined to spend all of them with you, watching those cheesy romance films you loved and maybe spending all day in bed. alas, none of that had actually come true, for you were extremely busy with school, constantly working on assignments or projects, and joshua had spent most nights sleeping alone. 
your side of the bed was constantly empty, and joshua knew you were staying up at ungodly hours at night, curled up on the couch, working on another assignment that probably wasn’t due for another few weeks. he wished he could pull you away from work, even for a second, but knowing your stubborn nature, it would take a lot for you to take a break. 
joshua tried not to pout like a child who’d just been told they couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. he was a twenty seven year old man, for fucks sake, and pouting because his girlfriend wouldn’t pay attention to him was not good for his character, and if the members found out, they’d tease him relentlessly for weeks. 
“are you almost done?” he found himself saying, mentally patting himself on the back for keeping his voice neutral as possible, “sort of, i finished the introduction and maybe, erm, half of the analysis? i’ve written..two pages so far.” you mumbled, and joshua felt his heart sink into his chest. 
“oh.” was all he managed to say, and went back to pretending to watch his movie, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. a long stretch of silence settled between them, and joshua wracked his mind for something to say, anything to break the awkward atmosphere. 
another long beat of silence, and then, “are you mad at me?” your voice was impossibly soft, and joshua knew you well enough to note the nervousness laced within your tone. at that, his head whipped towards you, heart aching at the unsure, almost fearful look on your face, tension lining your shoulders.
“no, love, of course not, you’ve done nothing wrong.” he reassured, and nearly sighed in relief when the tension in your shoulders loosened, ever so slightly. “then why did you sound so… upset earlier?” “i did?” you nodded, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. 
“y-yeah, a bit, i don’t think you realized though.” “i’m not upset, darling, just a bit… sad, i guess.” “sad? why? did something happen while you and the guys were preparing for the comeback?” you asked, concern furrowing your brow, and joshua felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. 
“no, nothing happened, don’t worry, the guys are fine, just resting from the crazy schedule we’ve had these last few weeks.” “oh, thank god, i thought something happened. then, why are you sad?” joshua hesitated, wondering if you would laugh in his face for admitting that he had felt lonely these past few days because you’d been so focused on work and not him. 
stop overthinking everything, you idiot, this is y/n. she’s not going to laugh at you or think you’re pathetic. well, here goes nothing. “this is going to sound pathetic of me, but you’ve been so focused on work these past few days and.. i don’t know, this is the longest break i’ve had during comeback preparations that management has given us in a long time, and i guess i thought we could spend them together. but you were so determined to get your work done, and i didn’t want to bother you.” 
joshua tried to keep his voice as cheerful as possible, but the small crack in his voice at the end betrayed him, and he felt color rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. to his relief, you didn’t laugh in his face or call him pathetic. 
instead, you were looking at him with guilt written all over your face, dark eyes glinting with unshed tears, and joshua felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. “why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, and you sounded so hurt, so devastated, that he immediately wished he could take his words from earlier back. 
“i didn’t want to bother you”, he replied softly, voice ever so gentle, as if he were afraid of scaring you off. “you’re never a bother! i’m the one who shouldn’t be bothering you. you’re an idol for fucks sake, you’re constantly rehearsing and preparing to put out an album and perform on stage for thousands and thousands of people, and i’m just a struggling university student who’s constantly complaining about something trivial like shitty professors-” joshua cut you off by pressing a soft kiss to your mouth. 
“i could say the same about you, you’re never a bother to me either. and yes, i do prepare to perform for tons of people, and while it’s a lot different from being a student, you shouldn’t think of yourself that way, it breaks my heart. never think just because you’re a university student, it doesn’t make your worries or stress any less significant or important. and shitty professors isn’t a trivial matter. they can either make or break your overall experience, and i’m sorry that they’ve been throwing all these things at you. but i know you. you can get through it, and if you ever need me, i’ll be here.” 
you were a sobbing mess at this point, and joshua gently pried the laptop from your hands and set it on the coffee table. “now come here.” he whispered, opening his arms ever so slightly, and you threw yourself into them, body wracking with uncontrollable sobs, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder. 
joshua held you flush against him, wrapping his arms around your body and rubbing comforting circles on your back, murmuring reassuring words under his breath. your soft sobs filled the room, and he swore he felt his heart cleave in two at how utterly shattered you sounded. 
after your tears had subsided, joshua pulled back enough to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear, caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb. “i know this is a long shot, but would you be willing to spend the rest of the night with me? that is, no movies, no music, and definitely no five page papers. you can work all you want tomorrow, but i think maybe taking a break will benefit you.” 
your shoulders slumped in defeat, and joshua couldn’t help but smile fondly at the exasperated huff you let out as you gazed longingly at your macbook. “fine, but only because i can’t say no to you.” you murmured begrudgingly. joshua let out a soft, amused chuckle, leaning down to press a soft kiss atop your head. “likewise.” 
“do you mind if i put your laptop in my room? just so that you’re not distracted by it?” you shook your head. “go ahead, i don’t really want to write that fucking paper right now. my brain is fried.” joshua chuckled, reaching out and ruffling your hair affectionately. “ok, i’ll be back.” 
he took the laptop off the table and headed towards his room, humming softly to himself. when he opened the door, jeonghan was sprawled out on his bed, scrolling idly through his phone. he looked up when joshua entered. “i thought you were spending time with y/n. having a lover’s quarrel?” jeonghan asked, the corners of his mouth curving into a mischievous smile, and joshua rolled his eyes, used to the former’s cheekiness. 
“very funny. no, we are not having a lover’s quarrel.” jeonghan sighed, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “shame, i thought something interesting was finally happening around here.” joshua snorted. “yeah, like the one time you and dokyeom went live at the same time and you practically begged carats to watch you instead of him?” 
jeonghan gave an elegant shrug, unfazed. “it’s not my fault i’m so lovable.” joshua fought the urge to throw a pillow at his friend’s head. “whatever helps you sleep at night.” he grumbled, placing your laptop on his bed before promptly exiting the room, shutting the door gently behind him. 
joshua found you right where he left you, curled up on the couch, except now, you were hugging a pillow to your chest, seemingly lost in thought. the sight made his heart ache and warm all the same. he gently kissed the top of your head as he plopped down unceremoniously next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. 
“penny for your thoughts?” he teased, which earned him a half-hearted glare. “what are you so lost in thought about, love?” he saw your cheeks heat at the way the endearment slipped easily off his tongue due to years of use, and fought the urge to coo at the sight. 
“nothing, just thinking about how i could’ve spent time you with you these past few days, you know, instead of brushing you off and doing work instead.” 
joshua shushed you, pulling you closer into his side. “it’s okay, i also was a little embarrassed. i mean, i didn’t want to come off as clingy.” that earned him a soft smack on the chest. “you are not clingy.” “tell that to hoshi, he thinks i’m utterly besotted, his words, not mine.” 
you glanced up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes. “well, you are, aren’t you?” joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, love.” you scrunched your nose at joshua in mock disgust, and he let out a soft chortle of amusement. 
a comfortable silence settled in the air, and you let out a soft sigh of contentment, resting your head on joshua’s shoulder, and he smiled, carding a hand gently through your hair, the strands like silk against his skin. joshua adored moments like these, when it was just you and him, and he could temporarily forget about any and all his worries. 
and even if the others teased him for being so besotted, then so be it. after all, joshua was used to their teasing, had been for eight years and counting. you were the first to break the silence, clearing your throat awkwardly. “not to sound like a broken record, but i really do feel guilty for completely ignoring you these past few days. if i had known you had-” 
“love,” joshua began, cutting you off gently but firmly, “like i said before, you have nothing to apologize for. your work was important, and i would’ve distracted you.” you let out a small sigh, small shoulders slumping in defeat. “still, you could’ve at least tried to take my laptop away. or something,”
joshua rolled his eyes half-heartedly. “i love you, but we both know that you would likely hiss at me if i did.” color rose to your cheeks. “n-not true.” “sure, love.” you wrinkled your nose at him in mock disgust, and joshua couldn’t help but press a gentle kiss atop your head. 
you mumbled something incoherent under your breath, but said nothing further, instead settling back into joshua’s embrace, and he allowed himself a small smile as you let your eyes flutter shut, letting out a small yawn. “tired?” he whispered, carding his hands through your soft hair, and you managed a small nod. 
“sleep, then, love. i’ll be here when you wake up.” at that ,color rose to your cheeks, and joshua bit back an amused laugh, knowing you were likely to scold him for it, and leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch, relishing in the comfortable silence that settled around the room. 
it was moments like these that joshua treasured the most, when there was nothing but you and him, just enjoying each other’s company. with you, he could let all his worries melt away, forget about concerts and comebacks, and just be himself. 
and, as much as you and him loved spending time with the other members, it was often loud and chaotic, and joshua needed the peace and quiet every now and then. he let out a content sigh, and felt exhaustation take over, and soon, his eyes fluttered shut and he entered dreamland, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 
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a/n: no bc wtf was that ending oh my god anyways this was my first shua fic, and i hope you all liked this regardless of how terrible it is lmao also i started school again :’) if you have also started school, i hope it’s going well <3 ! (i cannot believe i’m a junior in college now wtf) also i turn 21 in like a week so there’s that lsdkfjldjf and since school is starting again, i might not have a ton of time to post fics:(( but i will still try to <3 also seungkwan is back:(( i saw the pics and videos from the concert in japan and my heart is happy:(( also scoups was there :((( i hope he recovers soon and quickly <3 wishing him all the best <3333
tagging: @hong-jisoo , @drmflm, @playmetheclassics, and anyone else who wants to read this <333
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