#Even if that means doing something silly like saving up for a bath bomb or that t-shirt you've always wanted.

[vt-scribbles]

Hey! I just wanted to like. personally thank you for your tags on that post about being 13-15. I’m 20 and I’m just. I don’t know. It’s really nice to know that there’s no rush to get my shit together. You don’t have to post this if you don’t want, but from one stranger to another, thank you. I hope the future is kind to us both.

You are /more/ than welcome Anon.

I know when I was around 17-20, I wish someone would have told me that. I wish someone would have reassured me

"You're not an '''adult''' by 30. In fact, the idea of 'becoming an adult' is a lie. Everyone is a child, slowly figuring things out.

You'll be 25 and be 10 in maturity in some places, and 45 in others. You'll be 19 and be as mature as a 28 year old. 60 with the maturity of a 12 year old.

Age is a lie, maturity is a slow process, and everyone should always be growing. The idea that you become 'a mature adult' at a 'certain age' is a paradox, and is not helpful to you when you're young and scared and figuring yourself out before you can figure your LIFE out.

Your art will get better. Your friend group will get bigger. You'll laugh more, write more, reach out to your role models and realize they're all just people like you. Figuring things out. Fucking up. Being scared. We're all a little bit scared. But we all figure things out despite the fear.

So long as you take things at a healthy pace, you'll be okay. You'll feel like 'it's the end of the world' so many times, and you'll get through them. And it's worth it to stick around."

There's never a rush to get your shit together. Most people don't have their life together, or figured out. We're all just kids with back pain and bills. But, y'know. We get to watch the movies we want and eat the food we like, so. It's not so bad. <3

#vt text #long post #I'm 30 and still figuring things out every few years. #You're a new person every now and then #and that's okay #you'll never have 'everything' figured out #the beauty comes from being content in the present and just. finding joy where you can #and if you cannot find the joy. make it. #and if you cannot make the joy? Survive until you can. #Survive. And work for a better future for yourself. #Even if that means doing something silly like saving up for a bath bomb or that t-shirt you've always wanted. #anyways sorry this went on really long #I'm just. really passionate about letting people younger than me know that it's okay #you won't just. transform into an 'adult' one day #it's a slow and completely indiscernible process #it's a skill. #and you gotta hone it over time #be a kid #And don't buy into the lies of life 'milestones' and 'checklists' like going to college or getting married #make your own checklist. #figure out what makes you happy. It's hard. but so worth it. #anyways this novel has gone on long enough <3

[suzukiblu]

excerpt from the one where Tim Drake goes to an alternate reality and decides to get his other self laid via the local Kon's bisexual awakening:

"Hey, remember when you saved my life earlier?" Tim asks. 

"Yeah, kinda," Kon replies in amusement. "Seeing as it was about two point five seconds after you rigged the evil alien robot army to self-destruct and helped save our entire literal reality's life, so I was definitely paying attention." 

"Flatterer," Tim says with a smirk even as he waves him off. The self-destruct function wasn't even that hard to hack, comparatively. That time he'd downloaded Lex Luthor's active IP files from his personal office while the asshole had been on his damn computer–now that'd been tricky. Interdimensional alien invaders barely compare. And the Brainiac incident still gives him stress migraines when he thinks about it for too long. 

Metropolis sucks and Tim frankly has no idea how his own Kon can stand the place.

But like, getting off-topic here. 

"Well, I was gonna say you should let me pay you back for that," he continues. "But since you bring it up I'll also accept a show of gratitude on behalf of your reality, whichever gets you off harder.” 

Kon laughs, because he is apparently adorable enough to have assumed that was a joke. Precious little moron, Tim thinks fondly. 

"You know, you're a lot less uptight than our version of you is," Kon says, grinning down at Tim before flashing Tim's other self a smirk. "No offense, Rob. Dude's clearly just doing more yoga than you or something. Maybe drinking more tea? Taking the occasional bubble bath?" 

"Silly me, if only I'd invested in more bath bombs in my life," Tim's other self says dryly. 

"It's probably my sex life, actually," Tim himself puts in with an easy shrug. Turns out when you stop pretending you don't have a ridiculously high libido and actually just indulge the thing, a lot of life's little annoyances become a lot easier to handle. Go figure. "Plus my boyfriend Bernard is really great, just his entire existence does wonders for my mood in general and he also makes me eat real food on occasion and monitors my caffeine intake much more reliably than I'm capable of doing on my own. The man is a living antidepressant and I don't even mean that in a fucked-up way, he's just that good." 

"Boyfriend?" Kon blinks at him, then puts on another grin. It takes, Tim cannot help but notice, exactly two beats longer than his real grin would've. "Ohhhhh, okay, so the problem is just that you're not getting laid hard enough?" 

"It is not," Tim's other self says dubiously, watching Kon just a little bit warily and obviously worried about his potential reaction to the word "boyfriend". Well, Tim never claimed to be emotionally intelligent about Kon, so no surprise his other self is also a dumbass there. 

"It kinda is, actually," he tells his other self. "I was tracking my cortisol levels the last time I went on a solo away mission and let's just say they were . . . concerning? Like really concerning. Like by the time I got back I was kiiiiind of convinced I was going to need to go on anti-anxiety meds again. But then I jumped my Kon in the Titans Tower med bay instead and that pretty much solved the problem." 

Kon . . . pauses, sort of. Tilts his head. Tim's other self looks a lot warier.

"'Jumped'," Kon repeats carefully. "Like . . . what, you dragged him to the gym to spar or something?" 

"Like I blew his back out so hard that when he came his TTK fritzed out and disassembled my recovery bed," Tim clarifies helpfully. "It really helped with the cortisol levels issue." 

Kon blinks. Tim's other self looks pained, but also desperately envious. Tim would also be desperately envious if their situations were reversed and so does not blame him for said envy in the slightest. 

"I thought you said you had a boyfriend?" Kon says after a moment, sounding a little odd in a very telling way. Or at least very telling to Tim, anyway. 

As is the way that he's not looking at Tim's other self at all anymore. 

"Open relationship," Tim says. "Also Bernard thinks you're stupidly hot and really likes hearing about the kind of stuff you let me do to you. I've actually been debating inviting you over for his birthday so he can watch us live for once but I haven't asked you yet." 

"What, so your Kon is the side chick?" Kon jokes, awkwardly putting on another just barely belated grin. 

"More like my kept boy, functionally speaking, but he's having a 'weird about commitment' phase right now so I've just been making a lot of sugar baby jokes to soften him up," Tim replies with a shrug. It's only sort of been working, but it has been working, and he's willing to take his time on it. It's not fair to expect Kon to only be easy, after all. "Long-term goal is to marry Bernard and ideally get Kon to 'live-in boyfriend' status somewhere in there, but that would also require him not being weird about commitment and also figuring out how well he and Bernard get along in the same space, so we'll just have to see how that one goes." 

"Uh," Kon says. "Why?" 

"Because you are incredibly important to me and also look like a very horny Renaissance sculptor made you out of calacatta marble," Tim tells him matter-of-factly, gesturing meaningfully at him. "Frankly it's criminal that you ever put clothes on."

#timkon #tim drake #dc robin #kon el #conner kent #superboy #rinfic #wip: interdimensional whoring for timkon #long post #somehow I still haven't written any sex scenes for this fic #just a lot of Tim terrorizing his alternate self and flustering alternate Kon #'Tim'-orizing his alternate self?

[otp-holic]

Happy birthday @moonykat , your post this morning gave me a plot bunny, so I thought about gifting this silliness to you, I made the best I could on my bus ride. Hope your birthday is going as great as possible, you youngster!

Drawbacks (and perks) of dressing in the dark

1K, Teen. Fluff, silly, Established relationship, Bucky Barnes being an accidental fashion victim Summary: The aftermath of an unexpected "mission" in Williamsburg. fill for @stuckybingo square G-3 Vibranium (not heavily featured, tho)

AO3

Trouble smells them somehow. Big or small, it doesn’t matter: trouble just knows they are around and comes up from behind a corner to say hi. Bucky is sure of that because there doesn’t seem to be another explanation for the mess they got into on this warm (and otherwise perfect) September Saturday in the heart of fucking Williamsburg.

He feels his ruined t-shirt: torn, soaked and probably dirty from the burst pipe that sounded like a bomb from where Steve and him were quietly stealing ice-cream from each other twenty minutes ago, and his mind registers that he’s alone inside the almost dark building, meaning that he’s somehow lost Steve into the chaos of the screaming hipsters who are probably live streaming how their famous neighbors Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes just saved them from dying a horrible death inside their favorite store.

(It doesn’t matter if it was just them running to help when they heard a loud explosion that turned to be just a water pipe that produced a small localized power outage, and part of the false ceiling to fall inside an old-factory-turned-high-end-clothing-store, because the story, or better, the stories always get more interesting with near-death experiences and the local ex-superhero and his partner leaving retirement for a moment in order to rescue you from it.)

He’s not looking forward to facing that, but even less so while he is soaked, so he sighs, removing what’s left of his shirt and throwing it to the floor. He instantly feels the comforting dry cold of Steve’s dogtags over his chest, and takes a t-shirt from what appears to be a pile of them that has somehow survived.

The first one he tries on doesn’t even make it past his head, so he takes another from the bottom of the pile hoping for a bigger size. Thank god he’s not Steve and he actually knows how buying in retail shops works these days.

The new t-shirt fits, but it’s still hard to pass over his vibranium arm, so he searches for the left shoulder hem with his fingers in the dark, and tears the sleeve off as he’s already done hundreds of times by now. He feels better dry, absolutely ready to find his stupid husband and flee hipster hell as soon as he can.

His eyes take a moment to adjust to the warm light bathing the street, and as he starts to scan the crowd he can feel more than see all those fucking phones turning towards him, but he doesn’t care for too long because once his sight is completely adjusted his eyes meet Steve’s. Steve who is gorgeously dirty while leaning into a brick wall surrounded by a few paramedics, policemen and firefighters.

The shock in his partner’s eyes when in combination with paramedics doesn’t sit well with Bucky, but what makes him run towards him is the blood dripping from his crooked nose.

Everybody makes room for him on his run to reach Steve, so he has an idea about the menacing face he might be spotting, but he doesn’t care because Steve might be hurt, and Bucky is already blaming himself for missing the piece of ceiling that might have hit him in the head.

“What happened?” Bucky asks, cleaning Steve’s blood with trembling fingers before running them through his head searching for a wound or a bump that might explain the blood. “Shit, I didn’t see you getting hurt, what did the paramedics say? Are you ok? Are yo..”

“Buck!!” Steve half screams, half moans, stopping his babbling. “I’m perfectly fine,… aside from the embarrassment.”

Bucky doesn’t understand and Steve realizes it and fucking laughs in his face. Why did he marry this handsome bastard?

“Buck, oh my god, you changed clothes in the middle of this chaos!”

“Don’t you dare mock me, Steven, I was in a clothing store and I was soaked, I’m not sorry! I was the one bending the fucking pipe closed while you were running around saving all the cool people!”

“And the world thanks you for that… and for your choice of wardrobe.”

That’s just when Bucky actually looks down at himself and sees… well, his nipples showing up under a strip of transparent fabric. It seems to alternate with bluish stripes, pattern extending to the surviving sleeve too… and, is that half a Captain America Star over his chest, too? He starts blushing on the spot. Great.

“I should have known nothing good could come off from picking a random shirt in Williamsburg, what the hell is this thing?” He asks Steve, who is having a fit of laughter in the middle of the street, people making videos of it but hopefully not getting on with their conversation.

“Looks like a semi-transparent pseudo-version of my old uniform,” Steve finally answers, laughter half gone and blood showing up again now that he’s actually focusing on Bucky again.

“Oh my god, Steve! You dirty punk, you gave me the scare of the week and you are actually bleeding because…”

“Yeah yeah, my blood is running south much faster than my super-soldier arteries can deal. Give me all the shit you want, but let’s get out of here if you don’t want me to rip off that excuse of a t-shirt for all these lovely people to make stories about.”

Bucky laughs into Steve's mouth, getting close enough to actually feel where Steve’s blood is traveling to, and making sure he gives people something interesting to stream about before they disappear running past the crowds hand in hand like the silly (and horny for each other) teenagers they still are at heart.

THE END

And a quick silly (unfinished) as an extra present, haha, I was too amused not to do it!

#stucky #fanfiction #happy birthday kat #painfully created by me #fic by yours truly #manip by yours truly #fluff #established relationship #stupids in love #stuckybingo2021 #fanfiction forever #very quickly written #very quickly edited #wonderful concept by kat

[adcfan]

WARNED

He could clearly tell from the slightest wrinkle of irritation adoring the top left of her pale forehead that she is beyond annoyed. How could he blame her? After all it was him who lured the bird out of its comfortable nest in the middle of a tough night. From the height he could perceive the darker shades of her shadows dancing along the way she traced making him more curious to explore the limit of the demon’s braveness.

The edges of his lips pulled up to carve an honest smile as his eyes momentarily rested on the dagger resting against her waist that he once offered her in the middle of a battle, a year ago.

With a loud thud he made his presence noticeable startling her to the core in the process. His armor blazed a bright shade of jade green, bathed in the late moonlight that managed to get the taste of his attire. His eyes searched hers involuntarily, seeking to find any glimpse of game she or the titans might have planned to play on him. But all he could find was curiosity.

Curious? Is she really curious?    

“So, you decided to show up in the middle of a young, wanting night, far from your protective shell behalf of a demons’ call”. If it wasn’t for the mask he is wearing, she could see the imperceptible grim plastered over his face with ease. “And here I thought ravens aren’t creatures of the night”, his brows made a childish hunch testing her temper further more than she could actually take.

“What do you want?”, her voice remained cold as she tried her best to control all the urge to take him down on the very spot. His cape danced in unity with her robe as he approached her a little more without her noticing for a very long second. “Aren’t you forgetting a very special day, beloved?”. And that was definitely a hint of sadness that was sprinkled all over the Al Ghul’s tone.

Right, as if he could actually feel sad over anything with all the blood in his hands.

“I am not in for a game, Al Ghul. I have got a whole city to save and a good night’s sleep to resume, but here I am, in the middle of an abandoned area with a ruthless assassin who threatened to explode the best half of the city and what’s next? Seizure?”. Almost a devilish chuckle escaped his lips as if he had conquered the entire world.

“Oh for gods shake, little bird. Do you really think I will abandon the best of all nights in Nanda Parbat to blast a worthless city like Kansas?”, now he is definitely getting on her nerves. “But I must say, I had half a mind to blow the Titans bridge five minutes ago”, his all time devilish smile still painted his arrogant look. Raven barely recognized how Damian managed to corner her against the cold wall whose uneven surface pressed itself against her flawless skin dripping it with the night’s best dew.

“I am not asking you again, Ra’s. Tell me what you want with me before I banish you into a dimension of never return”.

“You hurt me, beloved. Don’t you remember the anniversary of our marriage?”

Married? With him? A year ago?

“If this is some sort of silly joke, you better stop it right now, Ra’s. It’s definitely not funny.”, her voice trembled with doubts by each passing second. She lingered over her left ring finger as if she has seen her own hands for the first time in all her life. No ring? Well that’s a relief.

He is just kidding or may be…

Or may be not

“Do I look like one who makes senseless jokes like the green monkey your tower owns”. 

Thanks to Gar, at least his pride is hurt a little.

“I didn’t say that, but if you insist on it… I may”, and she sure as hell liked hurting his weak point - his pride.

“Then how about I insisting on maintaining a decent distance between Conner and you, beloved”, for the first time in almost half an hour his words had the true taste of jealous.

“You are my wife and it is my business to keep flirty hybrids like him away from you. Well, if you don’t have to do it the easy way then I will have the pleasure of teaching him decency in my own way, beloved”. Is the night getting unnaturally warmer or…

Oh no! When did he get this closer to her.

And how the hell she didn’t notice it for this long.

If not for the pitch dark night sky, she could actually feel herself blacking out.

“If it is Conner the one you have your problems with then why the hell did you make me come here?” To reveal that she may be married to the Ra’s of League of Assassin’s a year ago? Probably, yes.

“I thought you would never ask. Let’s say I am here to get a gift”

Right, she barely knew that she got married and now he wants a gift in the middle of a night?

“I don’t have a ring”, the words spilled out even before she could realize it.

May be she lost her brain just like Beast Boy.

“I don’t think it is mandatory for a married couple have to propose during anniversaries, beloved”, his breath flowed through her entire being warming up all her dark desires that might love to make him hers and only hers even if…

Stop. Stop right there Raven.    

“I mean, I don’t even have a ring and how could I be your wife when I don’t even have a ring”

Way to go Raven, what’s next a Priest?

“The dagger, Raven. It means a sealed bond in my heritage. A bond made between a husband and a wife, which you willing took to save the pathetic Titans a year ago in the League of Shadows base.” His voice grew more husky and his breathe drove her senses away as he nibbled at her ear lobe. She was supposed to be mad, she was supposed to blast him to pieces and scatter every inch of his being at different dimensions for revealing something as important as being married, but his tone - well, that’s definitely not helping.

“What now? You want me to quit being a Titan, take sides with you and go against them?”

“Baby steps, beloved. Baby steps”. His left hand toyed with the hem of her dress, further breaking the already half broken control towards her urging needs that pooled in very being.  

“Just a kiss and a promise to keep that coward Conner away from you will do”.  She could feel the cold air of the young night kissing her wide spread pale skin that already missed the warmth touch of the assassin.

“And if I resist?”

“You really think you could resist me, beloved? Since it is our anniversary I will be generous enough to make another request”. His eyes grew darker with every words as his katana slightly battered against the cold wall.

“How about blasting the Titans tower to the ground while that stupid Gar and Jaime are trying with their half-celled brains to defuse the bomb or how about giving black fire all the 18 ways to kill Kori like a true assassin in the middle of their fight right now in Kansas or how about giving Slade Wilson the true identity of Dick Grayson and his fellow bat clan or how about letting Conner suffer in the hands of Bizarre Superman, left alone to die by a Kryptonite stabbing.” He hummed the last few parts as he withdraw from the spot he previously stood.  

“On second thought how about all of the above?”

“You are kidding. I would have received an alert signal at least if one of these is happening right now”.

“You mean this?” Damian raised a small communicator from his pocket still humming like an undisturbed teenager enjoying his long drive to no destiny at all.

“Give it back”. She raised her hand trying to snatch the communicator but in vain.

“Did I forget to mention that you have to be a grown woman to snatch a stuff, beloved”. His eye brow arched itself up.

That’s it. She could bear all of his sarcasms, all of his threats and even all of his flirts but not even for the shake of Azar would she let this damn Demon Spawn comment on her height and hurt her pride in nothing more than mere seconds. That’s not going to happen. Not today.

Raven rose to her tip-toes grabbing Damian’s collar to support her in the process but accidentally twirled their legs and slipped right on top of him. Their lips were locked like the mere existence of one depends on the other, when Raven realized the state she has put herself into.

Yeah, that’s how you snatch a communicator from a tall guy, who threatens to blast your whole family.

She would be cheating herself the entire time if she hesitated to accept that she did like the Demon’s head for a reasonably long time now. But she is definitely not going to let her pride get hurt.

“So, you got your gift. Now defuse the bomb and un-mess every mess you made”

“And all it took was calling you - short”. Damian let an almost an inaudible chuckle escape his throat.

He pulled out the dagger from Raven’s waist band and seethed it properly. “Don’t hurt yourself playing with this doll, beloved”.

“My team…”, Raven question was cut short by Damian as he spoke.

“They are safe. For now”

BOOM…

From the frequency of the sound wave she could say that it was near the Titans Tower.

“Well, except for one I guess”

With one last peck on her lips he disappeared into the shadows as if he never existed a few minutes ago.

--

Thank Azar!

There was not a single scratch on the tower. Not even one. At least he kept few of his words.

But the real horror stroke her when she felt no living presence inside the tower.

“Umm.. Rae what are you doing up late in the night?”, Dick asked as he and the other Titans entered the tower with handful of shopping bags. “You are all fine?”. She will never spell it out loud but deep down she knew that she couldn’t stand their loss. She blinked a few times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

“Yeah, we are fine. It’s a little cold out there. But don’t worry we won’t catch a cold, Rae. If that’s what you are worried about”, Gar uttered with no care in the world as he glanced through the contents of the fridge.

“Where have you been?” was all she managed to ask when she realized that she wasn’t dreaming.

“We were out…”, Kori barely had a chance to finish when Raven added “Crime fighting?”

“Ah… shopping, Raven. I don’t think it is a custom on Earth to crime fight every time you step out into the public, is it Dick?”.

“Unless or otherwise you are in Gotham, no”, Dick replied as he loaded the fridge with the contents of the grocery bags.

“So, where is Conner?”, inquired Jaime as he entered the main hall. “Isn’t he in the tower?”, Kori added.

“There wasn’t anyone in the tower when I arrived”, Raven replied as a loud thud followed their conversation.

“Conner!”, Gar yelled as he reached him. The rest of the Titans followed by.

--

“What the hell happened dude?”, asked Gar as he tried to touch the bruise near his right eye.

“OUCH!”

“That’s just a small bruise, Conner. I have seen worse”, Dick replied while analyzing his wounds.

“And a broken wrist”, Conner added trying to rise his wounded hand but in vain.

“It’s just a minor injury, amigo. You will be alright as soon as the Sun’s back”, Jaime reassured him while attending to his wounds.

“Here, let me heal you”, Raven offered taking a step towards but the wound deepened as if it was being cut from inside out. Conner could barely resist the urge to break the table he sat on.

“Raven, is that a Kryptonite you are wearing?”, Dick pointed at the green stone that somehow perfectly settled around her neck.

“If that’s causing our flirty Superboy to yell like a mad man then it is definitely a Kent-repellent”, Jaime added.

“A kryptonite? Not again”, Conner banged his head against the wall as if that would make his day any better.

If you don’t have to do it the easy way then I will have the pleasure of teaching him decency in my own way.

“Raven, I know you mean no harm but I don’t think Conner could take any more kryptonite today. So, would you mind…”, Gar tried to get rid of the kryptonite that adorned her neck.

“Here let me try”, Kori flared a small star bolt which seemed to have no effect on it either.

“It seems you have to stay away from Conner for a few days until we find a way to remove that thing off your neck. By the way, it seems to have no effect on you Raven. You may leave, we will take care of Conner”

Seems like he played a particular demon played his part well at keeping Raven away from Conner.

Raven made a short nod and walked towards her room. In the background, she could clearly hear the boys filling Conner with questions about the attack.

“So, was it Bizarre the reason behind this?”, Dick asked as he finished cleaning the wounds.

“No, it was a masked man with a Katana”, Conner replied.

“And you - a bullet proof being got this from a Katana?”, Gar’s curiosity reached its peak when Conner made Kryptonian curses under his breathe.

“Stop touching my wound, Gar”

“You call yourself a super but you can’t stand a broken wrist” Gar arched both of his eye brows wanting for a genuine explanation.

“I have not even once been injected, Pea-brain” was all Raven could hear, when she disappeared into her own shadows. 

                                                                 - Samuel Damian Fernandez

Hi, everyone! This is just a one shot, not a great one but worth giving a try. Like I have mentioned before English is my 8th priority language. So, if you find faults in my work just let me know. Also, share your thoughts on this one shot, so I may get an idea for future modifications. 

Punardarśaāya 😉 👋

#damirae #demon birds #rachel roth #raven #damian wayne #damian x raven #teen titans #damian al ghul #dc #bat family #demon of azarath #raven roth #damian #damian al ghul wayne #evil au

[arcadejohn127-9]

How would the demon brothers [+ undatebles if you can no biggie tho if not] be with an MC who is plus sized and is super insecure about it? Like they try to get skinnier but can't and they get upset about it or get teased by other demons for being bigger. Side note: your writings are INCREDIBLE. Just like you 🤗💜🎆⭐

Thank you for the request and the compliment! You're too kind!

Oof weight lose and being bullied for my size is something I know abit too well, I always feel sad when I see plus sized people Insecure about their weight

I'm all for people wanting to lose weight to be healthy or just wanting change but when it stems from self hated and an unhealthy mindset - I just can't stand it

Demon brother's with a plus sized MC who's insecure

Warning: angst with fluff

Lucifer:

He isn't a man who's to shy away from being rude and blunt to people

He wouldn't date someone for pity or lie

When he learned you were trying to loose weight

He and the other brothers all treated it how Asmo's diets go, he tries and fails and everyone makes no real effort to not tempt him with food

When he found you crying in your bedroom however

"What's the matter? You're crying, what has upset you?"

"You." Was all you said, trying to calm yourself

He, of course, wanted to know what he did

He kept pestering you until you finally snapped at him

"You're treating my wants like it's a joke! I want to lose weight and none of you are being supportive of it! Why can't you just let me do something for myself?!"

He was taken back

He sat beside you, taking your hand in his

"Why do you want to lose weight? This plan has come rather unexpectedly."

"Because I'm too big! Everyone thinks so! No matter what I do all nothing works! Don't you think I'm ugly?"

"Since when did being big equate to being ugly? Are your height makes you ugly?"

"my height...? What does that-"

"Weight isn't something we can always change like our height, some people just can't change their physical appearance, it can only happen naturally and even then it may be a small amount gained or lost."

"I think I get what you mean."

"I hate admiting this but- I'm not good at this kind of thing but I think you look wonderful, if you really wish to go on a diet I'll support you but it needs to come from a healthy and non destructive mindset."

He poked. your forehead before kissing your hand

Mammon:

"Mammon? Don't you get embarassed when you're out with me."

"You are pretty embarassing sometimes."

He wasn't pay too much attention, not catching up on your tone

"Oh.....I see....maybe I shouldn't come out with you tonight."

You already didn't want to go out, the outfit Mammon got you - whilst it looked expensive - was tight on you

"HUH?! now what's this all about? You trying to quit on the great mammon?!"

"Well- I'm much bigger than the demons you hang around with, aren't you ashamed? They're way more attractive than-"

He rushed to your side, gripping your arms

"Don't even finish that sentence, ya hear?! Who told you - you didn't look fucking fantastic?! No one talks to my baby like that!"

"But it's true-"

"I swear on Goldie that isn't true! You are the most stunning jewel I've seen, I'm so lucky to be with someone that looks like you! You're personality is already top notch - your body is like a shiny bonus I don't think I deserve!"

He pulled you into a hug, holding you like you were the most valuable thing to him

"You're gorgeous, just tell me who's been bullying you and I'll make sure they know their place, I never want you to feel like that."

Levithan:

Levi was showing off this cast of anime style chatacters from the game he was playing

All of them were so thin and muscular

Everyone had the perfect curve and ideal bodies

"We should cosplay these characters! Don't worry, you don't need to know everything about them - I think you'd really pull off this one, you two already have the same personality."

You looked down at yourself and then back at the Character

You frowned, clutching your stomach

"Really....? But they're so- well look at me!"

He looked at you, raising a brow as he tried to find what you were getting at

"They're a warrior who saved the universe with a knife, it's not supposed to be realistic-"

"I'm talking about my shape, levithan! I'm fat! I'm disgusting! They're built like a god!"

"YOU'RE built like a god! There's plenty of Gods from your worlds stories that are shaped like you! What's the issue?"

"you didn't even deny I was disgusting, those demons were right-"

"What demons?! Are you seriously letting some normies tell you you're gross? What do they know? I'm the luckiest demon alive to be with you and those demons can choke on salt water - you point them out and I'll get my army on them!"

"you really think that? You wouldn't like more if I looked more like your smile chatacters?"

"Media is based of toxic media where they focus on only one type of beauty standard, it's a problem within the game world that they don't add plus sized chatacters."

"i- yeah I guess so....I didn't expect you to really care about that."

"of course I care!"

You both sat in silence, you were processing his words and leaned against his shoulder

"Do you still want to cosplay together?"

You paused before nodding

You both went through the game he's playing, whenever the overly vain chatacter came out levithan would argue with them

Claiming you to be the most gorgeous being in the world not them

Satan:

"I heard some rumours today, have demons been bothering you about your weight?"

You froze as Satan closed his book, shifting in the seat

You stepped back, avoiding eye contact, regretting coming to your room instead of helping mammon with some silly plan

"No...there's been no issue."

"Oh? Then why is there laxatives and diet guides in your school bag? You know I don't like it when you lie to me especially if it means you could be putting your body at risk."

You noticed your bag beside his feet

You immediately grew frustrated as you knew you were being called out

"Why did you go through my bag?! That's my own bussiness-"

"you said I could get my textbooks back, I found them in your bag - I'm sorry I went through your stuff but this isn't fine! You're going to force your body to push itself unnaturally."

"I just- i just want to get thinner, no matter how many times I try it doesn't work! I'm tired of seeing myself in the mirror and people telling me that you don't actually love me-"

"Some people just don't have it easy when it comes to weight lose, going on a diet isn't the best - I can go on cooking duty more often and make sure you have healthier meals."

He was at your side now, stroking your face

"Do you love me....? Truely?"

"of course I do, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you - you make me feel things I never thought i would, your size is the last of my concerns, I'm just scared you're going to hurt yourself."

You nodded, tearing up as you let him hold you closer

You tried to apologize but he silenced you, telling you that your emotions are valid

Asmodeus:

"Darling~! Let's take a bath together, I just got a new bath bomb and some soaps!"

He shook the mini basket filled with bath product's

"really...? Are you sure you want to do that, I'm not sure, I feel really bloated today-"

You were desperate to avoid getting naked Infront of him

Every once and a while he would ask to take a bath together, he respects your discomfort but wants to keep the offer open

"Oh, that's no issue~ we can have some tea Barbatos gave me, it's great for bloating!"

"why do you wanna see me naked so much? I'm not anything to see - wouldn't you be uncomfortable?"

"Uncomfortable? Why would I feel that?"

"In not the smallest person around-"

"Means you got more to love! I love your body!"

"But you're so gorgeous and slender, why would you ever love my body?"

He couldn't understand your feelings; confused on how you could see yourself in a negative light

"because I love you more than myself, I'm still the most special demon around but you're just something else, something I could never stop adoring!"

Beezlebub:

"Do you want to go eat with me? hell's kitchen is having a party."

Beel peered into your room, showing the hell's kitchen site

"I'm not sure about that, I've been trying to cut down on my eating."

"what? Why? Are you sick?"

He immediately got concerned, shuffling over to you

He placed the back of his hand on your forehead

"No- I'm not sick, I just think I should loose some weight."

"oh....then you can still go eat with me, I'll just eat more of your portions."

"you don't have any issue with me losing weight?"

Your insecurities started to chew at you

You weren't really sure what you wanted; you wanted him to be cruel and straight forward about hating your body

It would make your feelings feel more grounded

But you couldn't bare it if he didn't like your body

"It's your choice - should I be concerned?"

"no way! It would be for the best anyway, right? Atleast then I'll look better-"

"What does your weight have you to do with your looks? I think you look fine."

"you don't think I'm too big? Wouldn't you prefer someone more petite? I know you like small things-"

"I like you, I don't see any issue with your body."

It did feel a little ridiculous to think the avatar of gluttony would be bothered by your size but you still couldn't help but feel worried

He suddenly picked you up, kissing your cheek

"I can hold you in my arms just fine, your size will never stop me from liking you, I think you're beautiful."

Belphegor:

He was laying on your thigh's, watching a video comp of people falling over and getting hurt

"Should I loose weight?"

His phone was suddenly dropped on his stomach, staring up at with you surprise

"Why do you ask? Besides, it's not my decision to make - it's your body."

"yeah but wouldn't you prefer it if I was, ya know, thinner?"

He looked at you as if you just said something stupid

Adjusting his position snuggled against your thigh's

"Why would I prefer that? You wouldn't be as comfy."

"is that all you care about? If I'm comfy? Would you be upset if I did lose weight?"

"No, because I love cuddling you so I don't care about your size but I like you the way you are."

"it can't be that simple, there's no way you just like me when I look like this."

"I'm not sure why you're thinking of it like it's complicated maths, I like you- no I love you and very happy with the way you are."

You wanted to argue, trying to find a way to figure out how he's wrong

But you couldn't

"You're my favourite person in this house - don't tell Beel - I wouldn't trade you for the world."

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #obey me mammon #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me beezlebub #obey me satan #obey me levithan #obey me luficer #obey me belphegor #obey me imagine #angst #cw: body image #cw: fatphobia #cw: angst #obey me x you #obey me x mc

[ghostvibin]

happy birthday @interxstitial 🖤

( let’s pretend i posted this at 12:00AM your time, okay thanks. yes, time is just a concept. ahhhhh, it’s vesji week! [as if we aren’t living in vesji year already bahaha] )

vesper wasn’t the best at parties or birthdays, to be completely honest; however, this never stops him from doing something for jiwon’s birthdays. even if they are simple, he knows that jiwon would enjoy it regardless, of course, aside from the simple things, there’s also those little surprises at the end. all fit for his princess that he loves dearly. so vesper continues picking out some sunflowers, some wilted, mostly still standing tall and proud. it’s a mixture of the two and vesper can already see jiwon’s face light up by the sight of it and he knows what jiwon will do for the wilted ones exactly. an individual passes by him and questions why he’s smiling so much and vesper turns to the individual and simply states. “it’s my soulmate’s birthday today.” they nod their head before heading over to the counter to fix up the bouquet. along the sunflowers are baby-breaths and a few forget-me-nots. all which are picked by their meanings. vesper is elated when he sees the finished product, pays for it with the exact change and bows to the worker as a thank you before he’s heading to his next destination. 

the cold bites at his cheeks, but he’s too focused on creating the perfect surprise for his mate. it still amazes him how all those years of tiptoeing around each other, let alone himself and his feelings and now they are officially together, nearing a year in a few months—but vesper is happy that he gets to celebrate another amazing birthday with his best friend, soulmate, mate and everything he could ever think of. jiwon to him was the sunshine on his rainy days (as cheesy as that can get), he’s the light in his darkness and the one who has saved him more than jiwon could possibly know. there is no one else in his life that could ever make him feel the say that im jiwon feels. to think he would never imprint on anyone, destined to remain a lone wolf leading his father’s pack. oh, how silly of him to think that. he can think of the exact moment he imprinted on jiwon, regardless of his consciousness then. the process started when vesper showed up in front of jiwon’s house, covered in blood (not his own) and jiwon didn’t even blink, didn’t even shut him out.. he helped him. the imprinting process grew more and before vesper knew it, he fully imprinted on jiwon, but he never realized it until that night he showed up as a wolf instead of his human self. jiwon never turned away, practically looked at him like nothing had changed, not even his physique. he knew jiwon was his mate and he was happy to have imprinted on him.

vesper nearly runs into a group of teenagers and scoffs when the group yells out at him and vesper simply flicks the bean at them but when they decide to try anything with him, he snaps his head towards their direction and shines his bright moonlight eyes practically making the group run for their lives. vesper shrugs his shoulders with a mumbled, “must’ve been the fangs.” he continues on his way to his next shop where he gathers a few more items. some wine, a nice bomb bath that smells of honey and would certainly change the color of the water with subtle shimmering gold. he made sure there would be room for bubbles as well. he also decides to get a board where they can place the ipad or laptop on while they enjoy a show or two, perhaps a movie and settle in the bathtub together. aside from the bathtub essentials, he gathers some boxes of incense and a few candles (one can never have too many candles afterall) then he spots the perfect birthday tiara for his birthday princess. 

vesper gets a few more things on his list. one stopping by a jewelry shop. he got a custom necklace made for jiwon. a sunflower pendant with a gold chain, the stem curves to make it look like a j for jiwon, then two matching rings for temporary because he has another plan in the next coming months. he thanks the worker before taking the bag while he texts jiwon to ask about his whereabouts, reassuring to jiwon that he’s fine and just getting a few things, but most important to make sure jiwon wasn’t at home at all - hoping he’s still at practice or treating himself before vesper can shower him in all the love and affection he’s waiting to give tonight. he needs time to cook everything and get everything ready before jiwon comes home. vesper checks out of the store, everything for jiwon’s little surprise complete as he drives back home, greeted by kofi and smiling when the pup jumps to greet him. he goes over the plan, picks out the little hat the pupper would be wearing as he busies himself to prepare for everything. 

hours later, vesper’s got jiwon’s requested food. two bowls of saewoojuk and haemul sundubu jigae to top it off with some bottle of soju and wine, whichever to jiwon’s liking as this is his night an day after all. he eases back, a vase with the bouquet settled on the side just so they can enjoy each other’s company as they eat. vesper already got the bathroom ready, he’ll start up the hot water a little later into their meal. large balloons surround the ceiling with a few tied to the chairs and of course a banner that spells “happy birthday” plastered on the wall and vesper didn’t forget the cake, but that’ll be for later prior to their bubble bath time. it’s when he hears the keys jingling as the doorknob turns and a familiar face comes to view, kofi with his birthday party hat on running to greet jiwon. vesper is smiling at the sight, reminded of how grateful he is to have these two in his life. behind him holds the tiara he found perfect for jiwon and he smiles when their eyes meet. his mate. how lucky did he get? he strides towards jiwon and presents the tiara and places it on jiwon’s head before cupping his face to kiss his soulmate deep on the lips with a whispered, “happy birthday, jiwonnie.” and the night has just begun, but it’s already so perfect.

#interxstitial #happyjiwonday2021 #huhuhu #this is so rusty #but i hope you enjoy it twinnie #and i hope jiwon enjoys his presents c': #we already know there's much more later #buT YKNOW #we'll leave that to vesji puahaha

[fizzingwizard]

So............ Episode 39 is a fever dream xD I think the writers were high. It’s probably better enjoyed while high as well, if you’re not eight years old. Bahahaha.

But HEY they really went for it. They were like, this is the concept, we are not backing down, YOU’RE GONNA LIKE IT OR ELSE. Man. Ballsy.

I can’t say whether this episode was Good or Not Good - I think it’s more in the liminal zone of “you wish you could forget but never can” memedome. Lol

It’s a Jou ep and we can say, for sure, that the episode certainly embodies Jou’s potential *cackles*

Note: Episode 40 won’t air until 3/21.

Pic of the Day is Taichi because, as usual, I capped him too much.

Taichi: Pretty sure we all just ate hallucinogenic mushrooms by accident but just gonna smile through it

More below!

First Tailmon lectures the kids on the importance of taking a break to rest. Basically, Tailmon is me. Hey, writers, are you reading my blog? Lol.

They pull up to what turns out to be a Digimon burger restaurant. The fact that Palmon didn’t know what burgers until they went to the simulated human world is dealt with pretty much by saying she just doesn’t get around much lol.

They find many Digimon enjoying burgers made by the Digimon after my heart, Burgermon.

The Squirtle Squad is there too.

Taichi also is me.

Sora comments on how this place reminds her of a place from home, to which Mimi responds that she’s never been there as she usually travels by plane ??????????????????????

I know she’s rich but does she take a plane to the grocery store xD

The kids st down to enjoy some burgers, all except for Yamato, Koushirou, and Hikari, who didn’t listen to Tailmon’s lecture and are still working. Even Tailmon doesn’t take her own advice.

Jou suddenly notices something strange. He stands, glasses shining.

Jou: Why is no one eating the fries!

Taichi: I’m eating them.

Jou: i dON’T MEAN YOU!!!!!

His blood pressure skyrockets. Fries are the main reason to go to a burger joint. Why is no one eating the fries??

Taichi: Like I said, I’m eating them.

Jou: NOT EVERYTHING’S ABOUT YOU!

Meanwhile, Yamato’s group realizes Komondomon is very dirty when he accidentally creates a small sandstorm out of his fur. They meet another Komondomon who is sparkly and bishie and find out there’s a car wash service by Lunamon nearby, so they take Komondomon to get washed.

HEY WRITERS, YOU’RE READING MY BLOG RIGHT??? I asked for this before. Bahahaha. BATHE KOMONDOMON 2021

Lunamon also tries to bathe Gabumon, but he’s not interested.

Gabumon: I don’t need a bath!

Yamato: Uh, are you sure?

Jou’s indignation over the not eating of the fries turns out to be because, sometimes after cram school he sneaks off to a burger restaurant and eats fries and just has a moment for himself before he goes home. His special time with fries keeps him sane in a cold, cruel world.

Then this abomination appears. Potemon. He both is a potato and loves eating potatoes. Uh. That’s. That’s kinda wack

Jou instantly clicks with Potemon due to their mutual love for potatoes. I thought we’d get an explanation like “no one here eats fries because we save them all for Potemon” or something, but it seems like... Potemon is really the only one who likes them... idk man this episode makes no sense

Then Burgermon makes a sad announcement... They’re going to discontinue the fries!

Burgermon: Selling fries is a net loss for us because no one eats them.

Taichi: But you don’t sell anything, it’s all free.

Burgermon: Yes but if we DID sell them it WOULD be a net loss because no one eats them

Then Hikari’s like “quit being so lazy!” and the others are like “you literally told us it’s important to rest” and Hikari’s group is like “KOMONDOMON NEEDS A BATH ALL PLAY AND NO WORK MAKES JACK A DULL BOY” and Taichi’s like “but my name is not Jack”

Gomamon tries to help Jou cheer up by reminding him of his image as a leader. Tailmon is surprised... but accepts her new leader lmao.

I mean, how could you not admire his authoritative figure?

There’s a running joke from this point about the word suberu (滑る) which means both to slip like in the tub and to flunk an exam. So, for Jou, it’s the equivalent of a curse word lol. Mimi is the number one offender, the little witch bahaha.

Potemon has gone to cry over not being able to be a cannibal anymore, until he is consumed by potato rage. His eyes glow red and he evolves to...

... Jagamon, another potato Digimon, but larger. He is a Perfect level WHAT. Does that mean Potemon was Adult level??? Or he was so upset he just jumped two levels in single go without any extra help from Millenniumon?? i think this guy might be the real Big Bad y’all

Jagamon throws potato bombs around and stuff starts to get wrecked.

Taichi: This seems like an overreaction!

Agumon: To be honest I get it. I’d probably act the same if I couldn’t have my favorite food anymore.

Taichi: But your favorite food is every food.

Burgermon and Lunamon bravely rush out to stop Jagamon, but then, when rescued by Taichi, instantly agree to turn tail and run bahaha.

Not to be outdone, Yamato rushes in to save this little guy, Pusurimon, who looks up at his hero with eyes full of wonder.

Taichi then asks Yamato to lead the evacuation which pretty much means “stop stealing my fans”

Meanwhile Birdramon... helps???... Blimpmon...

I didn’t even know there was a Blimpmon...

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised...

....

Jou realizes that Jagamon is Potemon and begs the others to help him save the little potato head.

Taichi notices that Lunamon’s bubbles are peculiarly strong for bubbles and stop the potato bombs from exploding. I mean, he and everyone else figures it out just by using their eyes. Jou then instantly takes over and starts giving orders like he’s a got a shrewd plan.

Jou: I have a plan!

Mimi: What is it?

Jou: Use the bubbles to stop the potato bombs from exploding!

Mimi: Funny, that was my plan too!

Jou... What a coincidence!

Tailmon receives Captain Jou’s orders and promptly evolves to Angewomon. She shoots her arrow into Zudomon’s hammer and tells Jou to infuse it with his strong feelings.

(A quick not funny aside - now we know Angewomon can do this. It makes perfect sense for both her abilities in 99 Adventure and the abilities we’ve seen from the holy Digimon thus far this season. Bit of a strange way to have it confirmed but xD)

Jou does just that, infusing Zudomon’s hammer with his passion for fries and the deep connection he felt with Potemon as potetomo “potato friends.” Then he freaking picks it up, leaps into the sky which has suddenly become dark and stormy even though it was blue five seconds ago, and slams it into Jagamon’s skull.

Jou: I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN, AND THIS IS MJOLNIR! YOU WILL RESPECT THE HAMMER!

Mimi: I THINK THIS MIGHT BE OVERKILL!

But it works. A swift blow to the head and Jagamon is back to his normal potato-loving self. We all just accept this.

They now have a surplus of potatoes, thanks to Jagamon’s power to spontaneously generate them. Never mind that they also EXPLODE. Apparently that does not affect how delicious they are to eat.

I figured at some point someone would say the reason the fries were being discontinued was due to lack of potatoes, and the arrival of Jagamon would solve all their problems. But if they ever did say anything that, I missed it. Was a bit odd.

The end!

So, YEAH, bonkers episode. But Jou is the hero we all want to be in our hearts. And everyone loves fries. Which makes this the most relatable episode yet lol.

Did I like it? No, not really. But I think that’s because I am not eight years old xD I do appreciate the Jou-related humor though. Def can’t say this episode was boring! And, among other things, nearly everyone got to talk do stuff - only Koushirou and Takeru didn’t have much of a role this time. And the joke with Tailmon accepting Jou as her leader was pretty funny and cute and I hope it sticks. And I really did love the way Jou relied on Mimi at the end - it was just silly, not meaningful in any way, but it was funny and my Joumi heart enjoyed it :P

Next episode, again, won’t air till 3/21, and it looks to be a Sora episode. (Last week I surmised that ep 40 would kick off the next big arc, but I had totally forgotten Sora hasn’t had “her episode” yet. Sorry Sora ;_;)

The preview looks light-hearted, though perhaps not quite as silly as this week.

First they will go to Jurassic Park!

Where Sora and Taichi will impress the dino bird kingdom with their soccer prowess!

And Mimi will continue to relax.

Jou: What happened to all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy?

Mimi: Um, excuse me, I’m a GIRL.

Koushirou: You all know you’re using that phrase the wrong way, right?

#fizz watches digimon 2020 #digimon adventure: #digimon reboot #digimon adventure 2020 #digi spoilers #digimon

[softly-savage-mint-yoongi]

Allotrope pt. 4

Genre: Idolverse Pairing: Kim Junmyeon (Suho) x f!reader Warnings: Angst. Internal struggles with Mental Health problems. Relationship struggles. Smut. Edging. Overstimulation (m!rec.), oral (m!rec.), no protection. explicit, soft sex. Words: 12.2k prev. / next.

You’ve always been an animal lover. Today, however, for the third day in a row, you’re cursing the existence of birds in particular as you roll over in bed. Lately, the window beside your bed has become a stage for their sing song voices. It’s been just enough to wake you from precious slumber the moment the sun just begins to creep into the sky.

You dread having to open your eyes, huffing in annoyance as you reach for your phone and cradle it to your chest for a moment. You felt the gentle vibration of a text message notification when you pulled it from the bedside table. Cracking one eye open, you lift it above your head and rest your thumb against the unlock.

Your background is simple but makes your heart flutter nonetheless. A pastel blue color with a single symbol of a tribal water droplet in white. His symbol, your idol. Your Water King.

Swinging your feet from under the comfort of your covers, you rise begrudgingly. Making your way to the bathroom, you remember today is… Wednesday. Although you don’t have work today, you look around your apartment and realize you’ve got a day of cleaning ahead of you.

For the last two and a half weeks since Junmyeon gave you his number, you’ve neglected to tidy up more than necessary. Instead, you’ve been too attached to your phone, talking, texting or video chatting with him. Constantly sending memes and jokes and book recommendations. It’s been wonderful, really.

Shoving your toothbrush in your mouth, you begin your day. While you brush, you check your messages. Two from him, one from Soohyun.

Junmyeon’s first text is longer, answering your question about seeing each other soon, and letting you know he will be coming back from overseas tomorrow (today) after an interview that will wrap up their schedule in North America. His second text promises that he can’t wait to see you when he returns, and wishes for you to sleep well with a kiss emoji.

It sets a smile on your face too broad to contain the foam of your toothpaste. You finish up and wash your face, making your way to the kitchen.

Waiting for your coffee to finish brewing a whole pot, you open Soohyun’s message. He’s asking if you want to visit the new restaurant in town for dinner. His offer assures you he has a connection who could get you in without the waitlist, but he needs to know asap. Word around town is their menu in its entirety is well worth the required reservation days in advance.

Automatically, you’re excited. Your mood lifts a bit at the idea of deliciously rumored food, and you can’t wait to confirm. Sending him a load of excited emojis and the word ‘yes’ in all caps, you go about your day with a happy bounce.

It starts off well, with a playlist of piano covers of EXO albums carrying through the apartment. The curtains are spread wide open to allow the bright sun in while you tidy up. With every chore that you complete, you relax that much more. Laundry folded, papers you no longer need shredded, trash out, all of it. You’ve even got a candle lit in every room and you’re on your third cup of coffee by noon.

At this hour, an anxiousness begins to creep in. You know on the other side of the world, where there’s a thirteen hour difference, Junmyeon is finishing his schedule for the day and is probably just getting back to his hotel room. Which means he’ll be texting you.

It makes you check your phone constantly, even though you’ve heard nothing from the device stuffed into the pocket of your tattered sweats- you have to check. It’s manic.

You’re not sure what to expect. Although the last week of nonstop contacting one another has been wonderful, it’s also been… difficult.

Sure, there have been way too many good things. Your favorite in particular is whenever you get to watch an episode of his latest drama, Rich Man Poor Woman. You cackle in delight every time he’s making a ridiculous face or you pause the feed at the perfect moment to catch a silly expression. You’ve made a handful of memes with the images, sharing every single one with him to tease him.

He called you once immediately after you sent one to complain loudly through the speaker of your phone, until your laughter made him chuckle. Most of them he would pout at but then find just as hysterical as you would- claiming your tearful laughter contagious. He knew you thought he was a wonderful actor and these would be safe from ever being released to the masses of the internet.

Other times there were quiet moments where he would read to you over the phone or video chat as you fell asleep. Or vice versa. Quietly whispered conversations from under your covers with him until one of you was too tired to continue. Sometimes it was just getting to know one another better over endless games of ‘this or that’, asking a plethora of random questions and discussing the answers of why either of you chose one versus the other. You both have quite the affinity for books it seems.

Two or three times over the last week there’s also been heated moments. Snapshots of abs, not revealing his face as the top of the picture showed him biting his lip only. Teasing innuendos or emojis from both parties, sometimes ending in laughs and sometimes more.

You’d both been afraid to do more yet- fearful of it somehow getting hacked. Only one phone call where you’d been too desperate, you had panted into your phones at each other about how much you wish the other were there. During such, you’d admitted how much the audio turned you on. You could hear the slick sounds of every stroke he took, and in turn he could hear the gentle buzzing of your vibrator as you brought yourselves to completion. His quiet moans and huffs of breath in your ear haunt you still. Strange how intimate a moment could be with an entire ocean separating you.

Occasionally, conversation turns to the heavier things that you both need to discuss. About your relationship, about what you are and where you are and where you’re going. Two days ago, the conversation had turned from a conversation to an argument. You’d both raised your voices, but not at each other. Out of frustration.

Often the questions ran along the lines of what are you? Or are you in an exclusive relationship? You’d both easily admitted you would like that, but then the what ifs about it. The insecurities and uncertainty. The pressure to be all that an exclusive relationship typically entails.

You’re under the impression Junmyeon struggles with it harder than you do, naturally. He’s an idol. He already under an intense amount of pressure. In your mind, he doesn’t need the additional pressure of having to be there for someone when he can’t be all the time. Can he commit to you like that? Normally you spin it much the same- you’re about to start your last year of college. Are you going to have time for him, too? What happens if the few times he’s available by chance, you’re not? How upsetting and frustrating that would be. Are you both mentally and emotionally strong enough… mature enough to understand that if you become an actual item there is a chance you might go months between seeing each other? What if the fans find out? What if that becomes not enough and one of you calls it quits because it’s driving you mad? What if something like that happened and if affected his performance as an idol? What if he couldn’t keep up the facade- a second is all it takes for someone to say something about his composure.

So, do you stay as you are? The hooking up when it works out for your schedules by random chance? You know that won’t work either because you hate it. You know he hates it, too. You like belonging to one another too much. You like being selfish.

Both of you struggle with all of it. It’s terrifying when you don’t know the answers to the what if questions. How can you commit without knowing how frustrating it’s going to be? Becoming someone’s partner means disappointment at missed holidays and birthdays, anniversaries. Lack of intimacy, which you both clearly need a healthy amount of at this point.

The most frustrating of all is that neither of you have an answer for those kinds of questions. It’s a vicious cycle.

You pull yourself from your thoughts with a sigh. So much for your unstoppable, fantastic day. You feel gross, having done all of your house chores and needing a shower. Even looking around your clean apartment wasn’t relaxing you how it should be.

You’re hopeful a shower might lift your spirit enough to save the day, but the spray and suds in your hair aren’t doing much good. Just as you step out, you decide to drain your hot water supply completely and run a bath to lounge in.

While it fills the tub, you brush your hair and pull it onto your head and refill your coffee cup, even going as far as to grab a bath bomb from your pampering supply for good measure.

For a few moments you watch as it fizzes and swirls the lavender, gold and cream colors around the steaming water. Goddess, the name of the bomb, and one of your favorites.

You’re too impatient for it to completely dissolve- balancing your coffee mug on the side of the tub as you get comfortable in the depths of vanilla scented water.

Intentionally- you left your phone on the kitchen counter. You want to relax. Instead of letting yourself hyper-fix on it, you focus on your coffee as it slips down your throat. You’re being warmed inside and out from the coffee and the water, slowly sapping the tension from your bones.

While you drink, you busy yourself deliberating about what you might want to wear tonight.

By the time you’re frowning at the coffee-stained bottom of your mug and your skin is prickling from the tepid bathwater, nothing has sufficed to distract your thoughts.

You feel lousy and terrible and kind of don’t even want to go to dinner because you know your shitty mood will ruin the evening. Soohyun knows your moods shift and fluctuate with the wind, and he wouldn’t judge you for cancelling, but you feel disappointed about it. How burdensome.

Pulling the plug on the drain, you pull your knees up to your chest and sit in the tub, watching the space between the water’s surface and the ring of purple foam grow wider slowly. The gurgling sound of the drain swallowing the last liter stirs you from your blank thoughts.

You stand and give the tub a quick rinse- then pat yourself dry with a fresh towel and grab your empty mug. There’s an uncomfortable feeling tugging at your chest the closer you draw to the kitchen, and your phone. Like you can’t reach it fast enough in hopes the unease will go away if you look at it.

Setting your mug down in the sink and letting some water run into the bottom, you side eye your phone. Sitting there right where you left it, incriminating and imposing beside the coffee pot. There’s a little text bubble icon on your lockscreen when you tap the screen and illuminate it, staring back at you. You don’t have to unlock it to know who it’s from. Swiping it from the counter in all of your stark naked glory, you carry it back to your bedroom and toss it onto your bedspread without checking it.

At least you can wear your favorite lounge clothes and curl up on your bed while you feel awful. After you dress, just to procrastinate, you even sit down at your vanity to put on some extra moisturizer and toner and use a spa roller.

Eventually, the feeling in your chest scalds to an unbearable degree. You can’t ignore it any longer, throwing yourself onto your bed like a petulant child.

Sure enough, the message is from Junmyeon. Luckily, it’s simple. A sufficient 'hello beautiful’ with a smiley face.

You can hear his voice saying it in your head, and it makes the corner of your lips tick upward just slightly. It makes you feel a little better. Junmyeon makes you feel a little better. He is good for you, and you know it…

But what about the rest of it? Your personal problems when your moods shift like the sands and your mental health status. The things that make you worry and fear and you want to keep from him for as long as possible so they won’t ruin whatever this is that you have with him.

He doesn’t deserve anything except the very best. What if he gets too close and you snap and then he goes running? Of course you don’t want that, it would only put you in a worse place. A place you’re doing your best to forget and move on from.

A slight pain in your jaw tears you from the cloud of your thoughts, realizing you were clenching it too tightly again. With practiced ease you release the tension, letting your mouth hang open and rotating the hinge. Idly, you check the time on your phone. Nearly one-thirty.

Staring at the device, you watch as the illumination dims. Just before it goes black completely, it lights up with a goofy picture of you and Soohyun. He’s calling you, and you fidget, hesitating to answer it.

The moment you decide to pick it up, you’ve already missed it.

Instead, you curl in on yourself and try to focus. You try to talk yourself into going to dinner still, but ultimately know your resolve is weak.

Before you move, forty minutes has gone by and there’s a knocking at your door.

The sound confuses you, and you swiftly move from your bed to check it. An oddly shaped Soohyun is staring back into the peephole, his nose looking far larger than the rest of his face, and it makes you laugh.

He is loud from the moment you unlock the deadbolt, swinging into your apartment in his work clothes. Only his apron is missing as he waltzes in and swings you up in a hug.

Immediately, you protest, “Get off of me, I’m clean!”

He grins at you, setting your feet gently back on the wood of your kitchen floor. “Good afternoon to you too, and thanks for picking up my call?” he chides.

It earns him a slap to the arm, but as usual nothing can bring down his mood and he only laughs at his own punishment.

While he settles, you turn away and gesture to the now cold coffee pot. He loves cold coffee anyway, excitedly nodding his head when you gesture to the machine in offering.

Soohyun is at home in your apartment, much the same as you are in his. You watch him silently as he flits about your kitchen, grabbing his favorite glass, adding ice and draining the last of the coffee from the pot.

Graciously, he sets the decanter in the sink and fills it with water before he joins you on the couch.

“What’s up?” you ask sheepishly. His awareness of you makes you anxious suddenly. It’s been like that for a long time, even with medication.

Your knees join your chest, not bothering to look up from the floor or hide your mood from him.

Soohyun sips the coffee, “I wanted to see if you wanted to come hang out back at my place before we go to dinner… if you were still interested.”

His voice and tone give nothing away. Perhaps there isn’t anything to give at all, because you know he is not judging you for anything. Although he doesn’t have the same struggles you do, he respects you enough and understands that you sometimes have trouble. He doesn’t love you any less because of it.

“I’m so-”

“Don’t say it.” he clips before you can finish the word.

Your mouth snaps shut and you turn, foolish. “Okay.” you say instead after a moment.

“Do you want me to leave? If it’s not a good time that’s fine, too.” he offers instead, posture relaxed.

You shake your head, “No, you’re alright. I don’t mind the company, as long as you don’t mind my mood.”

Soohyun takes a large mouthful in pause before asking, “I don’t mind at all. Did you want to talk about something?”

You’re about to reply when your phone rings from where you left it on the kitchen counter again to answer the door, and you’re up off the couch to answer it. It’s Junmyeon.

“Hello?”

“Hello beautiful.” His voice is tired and stressed as it meets your ear from the receiver. You walk back to the couch with it pressed to your skull. He must be so exhausted, but his care and affection for you makes you warm.

“Are you having a good day?” he asks, and you smile. Soohyun is listening to you intently, pretending to be vastly more interested in his own phone than your conversation.

You sigh, “It’s just been a normal day. How are you, you sound stressed…”

You strain to hear Junmyeon’s dark chuckle over the phone. It’s hard to concentrate on his voice with the background noise; a movie playing perhaps?

“Junmyeon?”

“I don’t know. They got what they got.” he answers cryptically.

You frown, “What does that mean? Are you alright?”

He sighs, “I’ll be okay. I just wanted to hear your voice before I try to go to sleep.”

“Are you sure?”

You can hear the laugh again. A laugh you’re coming to understand means the opposite of what a laugh usually means. An uninspired one.

“I have to be sure.”

You don’t press him on the issue, “Okay. Are you going to sleep now?”

He hums, “Yeah. We just reached cruising altitude.”

“That’s good. I hope you sleep well. I’ll see you when you get back, okay? I’m off tomorrow night.”

“Mmm.” your lover replies.

You think he’s going to say goodbye, but he chooses a different direction, “I want to come over.”

A smile stirs upon your lips, he sounds so sleepy.

“Junmyeon, I don’t know if that’s a great idea. What about the media?”

“I don’t care, I just want to see you…I will be careful.” he murmurs, voice sulky at your answer.

You laugh gently, “I want to see you, too. We’ll see. For now, please rest well. Get sleep.”

He hums again, “Okay, I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon. Sleep now.”

Removing the phone from your ear, you end the call and look at Soohyun. He’s staring straight at you with a grin plastered onto his face.

You hold a single finger up to your lips, prompting him to grunt and sip at his drink, pointedly looking away. Just as you think is going to abide by your rule- he speaks.

“I see things are still about the same in that lane.”

Huffing a sigh, you dramatically wipe your hands down your face. You groan, “It’s complicated.”

Soohyun huffs this time, surprising you, “Do you know that you just keep saying it’s complicated every time someone questions you?”

Brows furrowing, you pull your lip between your teeth, “Well, it is.”

“Do you like it being complicated? Seems to me it’s pretty frustrating and stressful on both of you.” he laughs gently and he narrows his eyes at you.

“Of course not. I just don’t know how to fix it.”

Soohyun sets his now empty glass on the shiny wood of your freshly cleaned coffee table before turning to face you completely. “Sure you do.”

Now you’re just confused, “If I knew how to fix it, I would.”

He barks a laugh that only sounds a little patronizing, “That’s the thing. You do know how to fix it. You just don’t want to because you’re afraid.”

You know Soohyun isn’t trying to be arrogant or mean, but his words still sting.

With your silence, he continues, “You’re afraid of the unknown, Y/N. You always have been. You’re always thinking a dozen steps ahead for your future and the things that are unknown and you have zero control over are not welcome in that equation. It drives you crazy not knowing what is going to happen with your relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship.” you quip sharply.

“But you want to be!” Soohyun smiles wide, voice rising just a bit with his exasperation. His hand sweeps out over the coffee table as he explains. “Don’t even try to tell me you don’t want that. I know you, and I’m hearing enough from Sehun that 'Myeon wants that, too.”

You roll your eyes defensively, trying to change the subject, “You and Sehun have gotten close.”

He smirks at you and tilts his head, and his gaze is unsettling to your nerves. “Besides, it takes both of us. I’m not the only one struggling with this.” you say just to fill the unnerving silence with word vomit.

“I know.” he nods slowly.

“So what if I decide I want to try it? What do I do if he doesn’t?” you ask with a pout. It calls attention to the lump in your throat when you say it- you hadn’t realized it was forming.

Soohyun looks at you fondly, “Have you been listening to anything that man has said over the last few weeks, my dear?”

Serving him a look that says he’s about to regret talking to you like a child, you wait.

Proud of himself for getting a rise out of you, he answers, “I’m sure if you said you wanted that, he would be all in. From what I understand, you’re the only one who is letting the 'what if’ unknowns stop you.”

“But I-” you try.

“But nothing!” Soohyun comments loudly, holding up a hand, “Are you really going to let the unknown possibilities stop you from enjoying what’s right in front of you? I’ve seen enough and heard enough to know there’s a wonderful person standing in front of you. Someone who, by the way, could have anyone they wanted, and is choosing you and all of your crazy talk of the unknown bullshit.”

Stunned, you blink at him.

“I’m sorry.” Soohyun says, voice lowering, “It’s very frustrating for the people that love the both of you, too. It’s hard to watch your self torment stop you.” When you don’t respond right away, he adds, “It’s frustrating for Sehun and the others, too.”

“Won’t I regret it though if we don’t work out?” you ask him, face serious.

Soohyun coos at you, “I don’t know. You don’t know, and he surely doesn’t know, and you will never know.” You consider his words for a moment, “By the way- you’re never going to find out if you don’t do it, either. Do you want to be stuck wondering if there would have been regret if you never even take the leap to find out? You’re so set on getting answers that you stop yourself from even trying to answer the question, skipping it completely.”

Your eyes widen, and he makes perfect sense. He’s right- if you don’t try, you’ll never know. It’s a revelation, making you physically bring your hands to your mouth as you stare at him with your doe eyes.

He smiles at you, knowing he got through.

“Now that you understand, let me ask you something, you goof.” he snickers.

It earns him a playful smack on the leg.

“Have you enjoyed the last few weeks of talking to him, even though he hasn’t physically been here? Even if you’re not actively in conversation- do you still look forward to his texts and communication?”

You don’t need to answer him with words as the smile softens your tense features.

“Do you want to be with him?”

“Yes.” you murmur immediately, gaze resolute as it flicks up to meet the depths of Soohyun’s dark eyes.

“Okay. Then what happens if you let the unknown eat at you and let him go? You’ll still want to be with him, but you might have to see him with someone else someday. Surely then you’ll be wondering and regretting and hurt because you never found the answer.”

He pauses, but holds up a hand that he isn’t done. “Now, as your best friend, I can’t just sit here and be okay with that. It’s my job to talk some sense into you, Y/N. I am going to tell you right now, from my perspective, you have never been this invested in another person like this. Even your last real boyfriend didn’t have this big of an affect on you over, what was it… a year? Fourteen months?”

He looks at you pointedly, driving home his point. “From another outsider’s perspective, Sehun says much of the same.”

You cut in, “Oh my god, what are we to you two, a soap opera? Don’t you have anything better to talk about than someone else’s love life?”

He chuckles, pulling a laugh from you in return and resuming his monologue, “Shut up, we love to talk about you two. As I was saying, he can assure you that Junmyeon has never met someone like this, either. They’ve been best friends for long enough that his word has credibility.”

You’re softly smiling at him by the time he finishes, “He’s not the type of guy to be really into all of that.”

Soohyun claps his hands, “See, that’s my point. If you know he’s not the type to be creeping into people’s DMs and sleeping around a lot, why are you having such a hard time understanding how much you affect him, too?”

“I see it.”

“Then why are you hesitating and driving you both insane?”

You frown, picking at your fingernails, “I don’t want to hurt him.”

Soohyun’s posture freezes, his lips dropping to match your own expression. “Why do you think you’d hurt him?” he asks, but you feel like he knows the answer.

You stare at him pointedly before your gaze wanders to the kitchen and lands on the prescription bottle on the counter.

“Does he know?” Soohyun asks calmly.

Shaking your head, you reply, projecting your voice around the ball in your throat, “Why would I tell him?”

Your best friend smiles softly at you, quietly taking your hand that is closest to him and holding it so you’ll stop picking your nails, “It’s not my business how you handle that, but it might be worth considering to tell him about if you want a relationship with him. It might make it easier for him to understand you sometimes.”

You nod, not really sure what to say. Instead, “I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on him, either. He’s already under so much stress.”

Soohyun releases one breath quickly through his nose, “I think you are what relieves his stress- not just in that way, either!” he clarifies, “I think it might stress him out less to know and I imagine he would be understanding, but that’s just my opinion.”

“It’s still scary. When someone knows you that personally.”

He whispers, patting your hand, “It’s a sign of weakness to you. Y/N, I know I’m one of the only people who knows, but I think getting help and taking medication takes a lot of strength and not at all a weakness. Hell, it takes a lot of courage to admit it to yourself, right?”

Nodding, you lean into him, “Yeah.”

“Let me ask you one more time, do you want to be with him? Totally? Like exclusively?” he asks into your hair, pulling his arm around you.

You don’t care anymore that he smells like work and you’re clean. This time, you can’t get your voice through the weight of your throat, so you nod into his frame, rubbing your face against his shirt.

“Then do it, okay?” he presses his lips against the side of your head.

You nod again, just leaning into his warmth and letting the silence settle over you.

Eventually, Soohyun gently removes you, “Are you still going to be boujee and get some damn good food with me?”

His question makes you laugh. You know this man well enough to already assume he would ask you this once the conversation lulled. The feeling in your chest isn’t as heavy as it was before, and you realize that sulking around your apartment all afternoon isn’t going to do anything for your well being.

Instead, you allow Soohyun to talk you into wearing a dress that you hate but has always brought you good luck. He has enough time to shower in your bathroom and rummage through your closet for a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie of his that you swear you never stole while you do your makeup.

He buys you an iced americano from the cafe across the street from your apartment building before you’re comfortably weaving through the throngs of people on the subway system this afternoon.

It takes seven minutes to reach his apartment. Even though you hate it because of how congested the area gets, you admit there is a convenience for Soohyun to live in an apartment mere steps away from one of the busiest subway terminals in the city. Especially for someone who is perpetually pushing the clock to be on time.

The moment the door is unlocked, Mingho is standing in the entryway, meowing in greeting and running forward to twist herself back and forth between Soohyun’s legs with affection. Her spotted fur shines in the afternoon light cutting across the room from the living room window, and her purring grows in volume when he scoops her up to cuddle as he walks to his room.

Just as at home here as you are in your own apartment, you peek toward her food bowl and notice it’s empty. You look down the hallway from the kitchen to see her jump off of his bed just as you open the pantry and shake her food container.

“Thanks!” Soohyun calls to you from his room, already flinging his hoodie off to find an appropriate outfit for the evening.

Mingho winds herself between your legs as you place a scoop of food into her bowl. She immediately begins to eat, raising her rear into the air as you scratch gently down her back.

______________________________________

You wake with a groan. You remember walking into your apartment at midnight and falling into bed shortly after. While you had expected to be home after dark last night, you had hoped you would at least be home with enough time to get a solid eight hours of sleep before your brunch shift this morning. No such luck.

Rather, you’re ensuring you’re showered and decent and quickly standing in an impossibly crowded subway car so you can get to work on time.

You hadn’t bothered with breakfast this morning and are barely sipping on your coffee, still too full from the amount of food you had consumed with Soohyun and his friend Beomsuk last night. His friend Beomsuk… who was very tall and very handsome and very much interested in you.

On the ride home, Soohyun swore up and down he had no idea, and you were sure he was telling the truth. You had only kindly declined his invitation to bring only you back to the restaurant as a date under the guise of your busy schedule. You’re extremely cautious now, too afraid to confirm that you have someone special to you in the event someone would try to find out who that special person might be.

Shaking your head, you think back to how it might have swayed you differently before you met Junmyeon. Perhaps you would have let him whisk you off into the night or played with him. Now, nobody else on the face of the planet even compares.

The rest of the morning drones on slowly, just like that. The money is good, filtered through the hands of a crowd of business people having meetings over brunch and lunch. It’s still a little slow for your usual pace, but you don’t mind when you walk out into the afternoon sun with a wad of cash on par with your average for an early day shift.

Your stomach feels empty now, having worked off majority of the food baby. The cafe across the street from your building suffices enough, stepping into the shade and removing your sunglasses. Their bagels have always been delicious and fresh. You order one with your favorite flavor of cream cheese spread.

Walking up to your apartment door, you let the last half of the bread hang out of your mouth so you can use your hands to unlock your door. When the door clicks shut behind you, a tension you didn’t know you’d been carrying leaves your shoulders.

You kick off your shoes and use one foot to slide them neatly into place on the mat before tossing your trash into the bin in the kitchen. Even though you just showered, you smell a bit like food and old people’s cologne from walking through clouds of it over and over again at the restaurant.

While you’re in the shower, your phone rings. Obviously, you can’t answer it, but you hasten your routine. While you wrap your towel around yourself and wipe a hand over the fogged mirror, you check it. It was Junmyeon.

You swipe to call him back right away, pressing your thumb into the speaker button and setting it on your vanity as you dry yourself and find some comfortable clothes to wear. You don’t plan on going anywhere for the rest of the day.

“Y/N?” he says after the first ring. His voice sounds painful and sad.

“What’s wrong?” you ask immediately, staring a frown into the device.

There’s only the sound of him catching his breath for a moment, then, “I don’t know. I’m just really stressed out.”

“Where are you?” you ask. He said he was stressed when you talked to him yesterday, too.

“Out.” he murmurs.

You sigh, “Where? Do you want to come over here?” You wait for an answer while you pull on your panties and pull up the straps of your bra.

He sucks in a breath from the other end of the line, breathing hard. It sounds like he’s outside. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

Instantly you pick up your phone, swiping the call to the edge of the screen so you can access your display. You type in your address into the message box and send it to him.

“I want to see you, even when you’re stressed out.” you say quietly, stuffing your head and arms through the wide holes of a thin camisole. Your legs follow suit in a pair of distressed denim shorts that hug your hips just right.

The notion that you care enough to want to fix it for him dawns on you. The realization that you want to do anything to make him smile and not be stressed and worried. You want to give him strength and support. Your heart is thunderous in your chest suddenly and your voice seems gone.

After the moment of panic passes and you calm enough to speak, you take a deep breath.

You ask when he says nothing, “Junmyeon?” You swallow and take the leap.

“Yeah?” he replies softly.

“How can I be a good girlfriend to you if you won’t let me try to help you when you’re not feeling your best?” The questions puts a halt to your breath, picking at your nails and furrowing your brow as you wait anxiously.

There’s silence on the other end of the line. Not even the sound of his breathing as you imagine he may have pulled his phone away from his ear to look at it suspiciously.

“How am I supposed to help you feel better and support you when you won’t let me?” you ask again, nervous by his lack of response.

He makes a sound like an unbelievable chuckle into the receiver, “…Does that mean what I think it means?”

You smile at the sound of his voice. It’s still small and shallow, but there’s not as much sadness to his tone.

“That depends on what you think it means.”

Junmyeon hums, “You’re willing to give us a real shot?”

“Do you want to?” you ask with a hint of apprehension in your throat.

“Yes.” he whispers immediately. The word sends such a sense of relief washing through your body you’re vaguely aware you have to blink several times to disperse the moisture pooling at the rims of your eyes.

“Then I guess that makes us together, doesn’t it?” you comment breathily, pulling your wet hair into a loose bun on top of your head.

You can hear him smile through the phone, swallowing a sound you can’t place, “What changed your mind?”

You sigh, picking up your phone and carrying it to the kitchen with you, “Did you know our best friends are wholly invested in our relationship and talk about us a lot?”

Junmyeon laughs loudly on his end, “I assumed as much. Sehun has been complaining a lot about us. In a good way though, like he really wants us together.”

“Hm…” you agree, “Same on my end.” There’s a sound from the other side of your front door, just down the hall.

“Hey Y/N?” he asks. His voice drops again, like he is tired.

A sound that tells him you’re still listening lulls through the phone. Waiting for his question, you pour yourself a glass of water and stare at the bottle of pills on the counter beside the coffee pot. The pills you’ll have to tell him about if you’re really trying to give this your all. It terrifies you.

“Can you open the door?” he asks unexpectedly.

Your head whips to the door not five feet from you- the sound was him? You don’t bother replying to him verbally, instead crossing the space easily to fling the door open.

“How did you get here so fast?” you gawk at him, checking the hallway for your neighbors before you pull him inside. There’s a dark hat and a pair of oversized black sunglasses hiding his face. He looks casual otherwise, wearing a branded baby blue hoodie, black athletic pants and a pair of black slides. In the middle of Summer.

He melts into you instantly, “Don’t kill Soohyun, okay?”

You know where he’s going with the remark, but you raise one brow at him expectantly.

“A week ago he may have told me the name of your apartment building just in case there was an emergency. He didn’t tell me what number though.” he says sheepishly.

“I see.” you say, not caring about it anymore. Junmyeon was here now, like you wanted him to be. He puts his shoes beside yours at the door and follows you into the kitchen, “Would you like something to drink?”

He removes his hat and sunglasses, shaking his hair free, “No, thank you. I just wanted to see you.” You take a mild sip and place your glass of water back on the counter.

Smiling, you don’t give in to him just yet. “Okay. I’m here, so now do you want to tell me what’s been bothering you?” you try, taking his hand and leading him to the couch.

He looks away from you, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth and rolling one string of his hood between his fingers idly, “The interview didn’t go well.” he finally whispers after a moment.

You frown, “What happened?” You lean toward him and Junmyeon reaches for you, pulling you to tuck against his side. He sighs and relaxes a little, pressing his cheek against the damp coolness of your hair.

You wait for him to tell you, letting your fingers play with the opposite string of his hoodie and pulling your feet up on the couch.

“Being an idol is one thing. Being in a relationship is another…it,” he pauses, trying to find the proper words to explain. Eventually, he gives a frustrated sigh, “You have to cater to the fans as an idol. I love our EXO-Ls, don’t get me wrong. But it doesn’t make me feel good to give them false hope, either.”

You remain silent, letting him get out his words before you comment.

“I can’t easily say fanservice comments anymore about marrying them or about loving them most in the universe. It feels like a really shitty and shallow thing to do, and it bothers me more than I thought it would.” he reveals.

“I understand.” you answer carefully.

He pulls you tighter, wrapping both arms around you, nearly tugging you into his lap, “But the interviewer asked us questions along those lines and I had a really hard time playing to it. I reacted poorly and we had to do a second take and I had to act like it was fine. It was embarrassing and our manager made the interviewer sign a nondisclosure about the incident.”

The explanation has your stomach dropping through the floor. You push up from his body and meet his eyes. He’s clearly upset but you’re not sure what you’re supposed to do in this situation.

“I had to have a meeting with SM about it. About you, and me.” you want to cry. There’s no way after all of the internal struggle to come to terms with wanting and trying to have a half way normal relationship, it’s going to be taken from you. Obviously he would have to choose being an idol. It wouldn’t even be a competition for you.

“Oh.” you croak, blinking.

He pulls you back forcefully, “I told them I’d be fine. I didn’t know I would react that way… it’s my first time even trying to have some semblance of normal.”

You’re worried but his sentiment makes your smile a little nonetheless.

“I’m not the only one going through this. I talked to the other member about it, too, and he gave me a lot of advice.” he adds.

Your brows furrow, “Someone else in your group is in a relationship?” It makes you feel much better knowing he wouldn’t have to choose between his career and you.

“Oh, sure. There are lots of labelmates that are in relationships, but yeah, another EXO member is.” he clarifies against your head.

Pouting, you ask, “Who?”

You can feel his smile against your temple, “I want you to guess.”

Scoffing, you accept his challenge, “Jongin or Baekhyun?” It was educated, considering their previous relationships. It was more than likely one of them.

“Nope.”

You think a little harder on it. Most of the others seem to shy or too busy. You think back to the last time you saw them, all at karaoke. Was anyone glued to their phone or giving away hints? You may have missed a clue when you went to the bathroo- oh.

“It’s Jongdae.” you state matter-of-factly.

Junmyeon stills, “How did you guess that?”

You laugh, “Last time, he made a comment about you and I being in a relationship right before you came out to find me and he said it in a weird way? Now that I think back about it, it was in a way that said he knew what it was like to struggle like we do.”

Junmyeon huffs, “I understand.”

You want to ask, now that it’s been brought up, “Is that why you knew we weren’t talking about anything weird in the hallway? Why you knew for sure Jongdae wasn’t into me?”

It’s his turn to chuckle softly, “Yes.”

You feel foolish, “I’m sorry I said you were jealous then.”

He laughs louder, smiling a bit more, “It’s okay. You’re right, I can get jealous. Especially when we were not exclusively together yet- the idea of anyone else being interested in you made me very frustrated.”

“But your own members though? That seems a bit unlikely.”

He pouts at you, “When Baekhyun and Jongin first invited you over I didn’t like it. I thought they might try to steal you from me.”

You laugh obnoxiously this time, covering your mouth, “I knew something was wrong! I felt you stiffen up!”

Both of you are grinning like idiots now, “Don’t worry. I’m happy to be friendly with everyone but I’m only interested in one person.”

“Oh?” he inquires, “Who might that be?”

Your grin is playful, “Oh just some guy. He’s like the leader of this band of chaotic singers or something, I don’t know.” You add a shrug to the end to emphasize your feigned nonchalance.

“I better make sure I let him know you’re mine, then, right?” he smirks with one brow cocked upward, face leaning closer to kiss at your lips.

You push back at him, making him lean back into his seat on the couch, “Later. Right now, I want to take all of that stress away for you.”

He pouts, “You don’t have to do anything, I’ll be okay.”

Shaking your head, you stand from the couch and make yourself comfortable between his knees on the floor, “I want to. You work so hard, let me take care of you, please.”

The way the words unfurl from your mouth has Junmyeon complying in no time at all. He quickly shuts up, letting your hands creep up his thighs slowly. It doesn’t take long for your fingers to wander, slipping beneath the fabric of his hoodie to grasp the waistband of his pants. You let them pause, heating with the warmth of his skin.

He smiles lazily at you, “You’re so pretty.” he whispers just audibly enough.

His compliment makes you smile, teasing him by laying your cheek against his thigh. You mouth rests just beside the place you want, letting him twitch to life from the anticipation alone.

You sigh, letting your chin turn upward gently to rest over the area, looking directly at Junmyeon. A grin tugs at your lips, feeling the proof of his growing arousal. His eyes are on your lips, his own pouted open.

At an agonizingly slow pace, you pull at his pants. He helps you guide them down, lifting his buttocks from the relaxing hold of your couch. You want Junmyeon to enjoy this. Enjoy it messily and without delay, throwing caution and propriety out of reach. You want him aching and swollen and ready to burst. You want to see him forget about his stress and fall up into cloud nine.

With these thoughts in mind you drag the athletic pants until they are around his ankles along with his boxers. You attention remains focused on him, almost all the way hard against his thigh just where your face was.

Gently, you let your fingers smooth back up and over his knees, your mouth quick to follow the path until you force his knees apart as best you can. So far, he seems to have no complaints about your control over him.

His breath hitches at the first touch of your warm fingers against his cock, loosely gripping around the base. It doesn’t take long for him to gain full rigidity in your soft grasp. Subconsciously, your lips pout, realizing this may not last as long as you hoped.

He laughs quietly, squirming in your grip.

“What?” you ask with a silly smile, eyes wide.

He smiles, lifting one hand to poke at your lip, “It shouldn’t be cute but you pouting at me in this kind of situation turns me on.”

You huff indignantly, instead angling yourself toward him and kissing the tip to shut him up. It’s super effective, and Junmyeon can only suck his lip between his teeth and stare as you set to work.

You’re determined to give him the best orgasm of his life, slowly sinking your wet mouth over him, letting your lips envelop him fully and lowering until he hits the back of your throat.

He moans softly, and you can hear the sound of his head falling back against the plush cushion. You want to smirk or look up and see his face, but you remain focused on your mission.

Slowly, you repeat the motion several times, listening intently to the increasing respiration of your lover. You let your nails softly scratch over his hip or abs while the other remains holding the base of him, occasionally pumping to match the rhythm of your mouth.

Too quickly for your liking, Junmyeon seems close. His abs are twitching beneath your palm, stuffed under his hoodie, and the muscles in his thighs are quivering slightly. His mouth spills beautiful sounds of pleasure as you take him deeper. Relaxing your throat, his length slides past with mild effort until your nose is pressed into his skin and he keens.

Swallowing once, he whimpers out a weak 'fuck’ with a ragged breath. You can feel his abs clench as he tries not to sit up and curl himself over your body to bring you closer.

His hands have behaved all this time until he collects a bundle of your hair and makes a soft fist, trying to control your pace.

Instantly, you’re rising off of him, forcing his hand from your head. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand, giving him a stern look of pure mischief.

“No.” you say, “Keep your hands to yourself until I say so.” You like the authoritative sound of your voice, and love the look he serves you at your instructions. His eyes suddenly seem to sparkle.

He doesn’t say anything about it, apparently accepting your words as law. Rather, he licks his red bitten lips and lets his eyes flick down to the shining head of his cock, glistening with your saliva as if to ask what you’re waiting for.

As punishment, you purse your lips and blow cool air onto him gently. His answering hiss makes him get the picture and settle back against the couch. Immediately, you’re back on him.

The whine that pitches up his throat has your core clenching around emptiness, but you ignore it in favor of bringing him bliss. Hollowing your cheeks, you continue your onslaught, sucking and swallowing around him until he’s a shaking mess in your hold.

Before he can reach his high, you back off, gripping the base of him tightly. Junmyeon cries softly, “Wha… what don’t stop, please.” His head flops back to the couch cushion again and he puffs out his cheeks to catch his breath.

You shush him, letting the nails of your free hand drag a little harder against his hip and thigh to distract him as you kiss the head of his cock, angry and red.

He’s panting, stuffing a hand into his hair to sweep it back off of his forehead. He lifts his head, blinking rapidly down at you with furrowed brows, you can feel his hips flexing against your arm as he tries to create friction and control himself all at once.

“Please, sweetheart, I can’t.” he breathes.

You smile at him, reassuring, “Yes you can, just relax and calm down.”

Junmyeon tries his best for you, letting his body sag back into the cushion and breathing deeply with his eyes closed. His fingers jerk and flutter at his sides.

Once you think it’s safe, you resume slowly. Relaxing the tight grip you have of him, you let your mouth descend upon him again. You kiss, lick and tease him with gentle stimulation. The sounds you’re creating together are obscene, and it paints an instantaneous flush over your skin. You’re so warm and you can feel your own arousal pooling.

Junmyeon is having a hard time controlling his body from the small spasms of pleasure beginning to curl his toes. The most sinful groan drops from his lips as he feels you lips wrap around his wet, aching cock once more. Your pace is much slower but you don’t think he’s complaining.

The sound of your lips gliding over his slicked skin are tearing you apart and setting your body on fire. You can feel his thighs quaking and his hips softly lifting as he comes close to the edge again.

He dips his head back, “I need to come.” he warns, voice quiet and strained through the tension in his jaw.

So you ease yourself back off of him, kissing at his thighs while you wrap your hand tightly around the base of him once again. Fascinated with the strong feeling of his pulse from his cock, you go to war with yourself on what is better to stare at. His perfect manhood, angrily flushed and swollen, leaking and soaked from your mouth. Or his face, spun up in a tragic pout as his mouth hangs, seemingly unhinged from his jaw. His abs flutter when you pass your palm over them. He groans sourly but it still sounds so delicious.

“You’re so pretty.” you murmur back to him, mirroring his earlier sentiment to you with a saccharine smile. He tries and fails miserably to smirk at you, whimpering when you give him one tiny, shallow stroke up from the base.

“Too m-much.” he blurts out, hardly able to keep himself all the way seated against the couch holding his twitching form.

You feel powerful having reduced such a man to a mess of quivering whimpers, a mess of pleasure just for you. It makes you feel good, and it feels even sweeter to know Junmyeon will get the relief he so desperately needs. It feels like lightning courses through your being, vibrating with excitement as you smile, lowering your mouth over him again.

He cries out this time, an exclamation of pleasure and he cannot contain his jittery limbs anymore as his hand finds its way into your hair. He doesn’t try to control your head though- choosing instead to gently push the hair that has fallen into your eyes from your loose hairstyle as it dries. You allow it, cherishing it even more as you lift your eyes up to see he’s slouched over, head tilted against his own shoulder to watch you almost choke on his cock over and over again.

“P-please… oh,my god, please, I want to c-come.” he comments with lips apparently too loose to form words as sharply as he normally does.

Your fingers spread over his thighs, feeling them shaking as he pushes himself further back into your couch, reflexively raising his hips to bury himself impossibly deeper in your mouth.

You decide it’s enough, hollowing your cheeks and hastening your rhythm by just enough, sucking at his length lewdly until he’s moaning with every breath he takes. His body is hard and tense beneath you.

Flicking your eyes up to his, he whimpers, “Oh, god, yes… yes, fuck.”. You nearly choke as you try to take him back farther, your throat constricting around the bit of him that reaches. His eyes screw shut tightly and he mimics a face of pain until he releases the loudest groan you’ve ever heard from him, along with his impending release.

Even though the taste isn’t something you always enjoy, the act of giving a blowjob and seeing your lover fall apart in such an explicit way is something you don’t ever think you’ll dislike.

Junmyeon is a beautiful human being and a beautiful soul and you feel your own pleasure soaking your underwear as his orgasm rocks through him so completely. His body jerks, a tear spills from the corner of one eye, his lips are red and puffy and shiny as they split and release sounds that make you shiver with desire.

You feel triumphant when you rise, having brought him to such heights as he twitches with every inch you rise off of him until he slumps back and takes a single deep breath. A lopsided, easy grin is plastered onto his face, the apples of his cheeks dusted a warm rose. He’s looking at you through half-open eyes.

Your knee pops loudly in the following silence when you stand.You brush away his bangs from his forehead, dampened by a bit of sweat.

“Thank you.” he whispers reverently, taking your hand from his face to hold it to his chest.

His softness breaks a wide smile over your face. You feel so light and elated at having successfully released some of his tension. The urge to take care of him is strong, making it easier to ignore the desire to have him between your legs.

You rise from your place, “You’re welcome.” you whisper in reply. It feels like it would be too loud to talk at normal volumes in this space.

He reclines, moving a hand into his hair as he releases your hand, smiling to himself sweetly as he watches you move. With his eyes fixed on your form, he looks your way until you disappear into the bathroom. He can hear the water running and the sound of scrubbing. You must be brushing your teeth.

When you emerge from the hall with a damp cloth, you sit beside him again, letting the warmth run over first his thighs and then his softened manhood. Junmyeon twitches and sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t move or say anything otherwise until you’re finished.

With warm and gentle hands he pulls the cloth from your fingers and toes off the pile of clothing tangled around his feet. The rag joins his pants on the floor, followed by his hoodie as he rips it over his head.

No words are said as he slowly clasps one of your wrists and guides you to sit, fully clothed, over his lap. His palms are warm where they settle against one hip and the opposite side of your ribs.

You make a sound of surprise as the flavor of his lips meets yours, unexpected yet delightfully fruity. Junmyeon grins, holding you so delicately in his arms. His kisses are slow and grow in depth as he sweeps his tongue along the seam of your lips.

Complying, your arms settle around his shoulders, fingers playing with the hair that sweeps across the nape of his neck, cupping his jaw softly, anywhere you can reach to caress your adoration for him against his skin.

He groans softly at the heat of your body pressed against him, and his fingers skim below the edges of your camisole, lifting slowly in a silent plea.

“It’s okay, we don’t have to.” you whisper against his lips, turning your head to press your cheek against his.

You feel more than see Junmyeon smile against your face, “I want to. I just need a minute to recover.” He laughs quietly.

Your heart leaps as you realize you can hear his smile in his voice. Lifting your head, you grin back at him with a nod. He wastes no time in slowly peeling your top off and flinging it to the floor with the rest of the clothing.

Junmyeon kisses you again, hungrily this time, as if the growing exposure of your soft skin is more than he can bear to control himself over. He cups the back of your neck, pulling you to lean into him smoothly until his mouth can reach your shoulder easily.

He kisses, some chaste, mostly open mouthed and warm, from the side of your neck, down your shoulder, pulling the strap of your bra down your arm until his trailing mouth reaches the joint. His hand slides up your side, over your ribs until he’s cupping the swell of your breast over the clothing.

In one smooth motion he pulls the cup down until he can easily grasp the fullness of it without clothing, and he moans softly as his mouth freely descends over your nipple.

You gasp and whine against him, pushing your chest further into his delicious mouth. His tongue, skilled and wet, rolls over the bud until it’s peaked. He releases momentarily to plant a kiss directly over it, making you shiver against him.

Impatient, you break out of his loose grasp, sitting up to reach behind you and fling the offending garment from your body. You smile against one another’s mouths, claiming each others breaths until his hands slide up the back of your thighs.

His fingertips skim beneath your shorts, and the touch of them against the swell of your ass under the fabric shifts something in the both of you. A sudden urgency to be connected as you pull back to look at his face and watch him looking at you with the same desire and fascination.

It registers in your mind that he’s half hard beneath you, stiffening with his need to be buried in your warmth. Junmyeon’s breathing comes shallow now as his blood begins to race faster for you. His fingers ghost over your hips hurriedly, fumbling for the button of your shorts.

The moment he pops it you climb off of his lap to shove them to the floor along with your panties. As you do this, he adjusts, moving to recline his shoulders against the arm of your couch in a split second. His hands and mouth can’t find your skin fast enough when you try not to hurt him in your attempt to climb back into his lap.

The angle of his body forces you forward until your breasts are pressed firmly against his strong chest. He plants a messy kiss to the side of your neck as his hands find your hips as he takes himself in his hand, guiding himself back and forth through your wetness.

The repeated motion pulls a whimper from you and a groan from him, sucking in a breath as you plant your palm against his chest and sit back. You can’t wait any longer, having been so desperate for him for what feels like hours.

The relief of his cock filling you with no trouble is so intense it spills a tear from your eye. Below you, Junmyeon moans, digging his heels into the couch harder to let you fall back into his chest.

Neither of you move for a moment, just breathing and enjoying the pressure of your bodies pressed together completely.

Junmyeon is staring at you, his eyes wide and bright as he looks between each of your own with a fondness you simply bask in. You’ve learned when he looks at you like this, he sees you as a flower that only blooms for him, with him, because of him.

He slides himself out, almost completely, before just as slowly raising his hips to bury himself back inside of you. His gaze remains on your face, mirroring your pleasure on his.

You compliment his rhythm with your body, meeting him softly thrust for thrust. Small sounds of pleasure slip between you but the intimate moment is mostly filled with the sounds of your mingled panting. It won’t take you long to reach your high, you can feel how tightly wound you already are.

Junmyeon’s cheeks are flushed, his forehead damp with a sheen of sweat again as he closes his eyes and kisses you. One of his hands curls over the back of your neck to keep your lips against his.

He gives a particularly deep thrust, using the other hand clutching your hip to push you harder onto his lap with a groan. Driving on like this, you’re close.

You lift your head to breathe, settling your forehead against his own and closing your eyes. Every thrust pushes a soft gasp past your lips as he works your bodies in unison.

“Can you come like this?” he asks on a whisper against your cheek, checking. He can feel that you’re close, but isn’t sure if it’s enough to push you over the edge.

You nod, feeling the edges of your orgasm beginning to creep in. The air is humid in the space around you, all of the skin between you sticky with heat. Junmyeon tilts you further into him, sinking lower onto the couch so he can angle his hips better.

Just enough so he hits a place he’s never hit before. A spot that spins you rapidly toward your release as he hits it a second time and you cry out his name.

“Oh, fuck.” you whine in his ear, one of your hands tangling your fingers in the back of his hair. He hisses, brow furrowing in concentration with your tightening heat.

He thrusts sharply, pace becoming fast and hard into your heat, making a mess of  his lap where you drip around him. So long you’ve waited for him. The explicit sound of your activity, the heat of his skin, the smell of his cologne and sweat. The taste of him on your lips, the closeness of his body, all things that propel you to cloud nine suddenly as if having launched to the sky on a rocket.

Junmyeon can feel you before you make a sound, squeezing him so tightly, your thighs shaking, your breath holding in small pants that you release with a gasp each time. Your body freezes on top of his until you cry loudly against his hair.

It’s beautiful, he thinks. You’re beautiful, surrounding him and surrendering to him like this. Shaking in his arms as he drives his cock deep into your perfect heat, your fingernails digging into his shoulder and tightening in his hair.

It’s the sound of his name falling like a prayer, a blessing and curse, gasped from your lips all at once that rips his orgasm from him suddenly. He groans, freeing a breathe he didn’t realize he’d been holding until he’s panting right along with you, riding his high.

In the back of his mind he takes note of how tired his body feels, how deeply his thighs ache from exertion. You laugh above him, your bodies stuck like glue as you bend to kiss him, carefree.

“You okay?” he asks you on impulse.

Nodding, you dip your head to kiss him again, “Never better.”

You bask with him in the moment, the post-sex glow that has you both smiling at one another, not minding the sweaty mess you’ve become there on your couch.

The moment he softens and slips from your core, you grimace. The slick mess you’ve made begins to ooze down the inside of your thigh onto his, and you look at him with a frown.

“Shower?” he offers, still grinning.

__________________________________________

You sleep the best you have in ages. The birds don’t wake you as easily today. Instead, all of your own, your body wakes you with an uncomfortably full bladder.

The soft snores beside you gain your attention. Junmyeon, your boyfriend, is sound asleep. His face is relaxed and peaceful. The sun envelops your room from the window, like always, shining across the floor and spilling its warmth onto your bed.

His dark hair is pushed partially off of his forehead and up onto the pillow. From where his cheek rests against the soft white of your linens, his face squishes adorably, and you stifle a giggle so you don’t wake him yet.

You’re reminded of your wish, to see him in your bed, uninterrupted. To steal those first glances of him, his skin and hair glowing with morning sunlight while he still sleeps. You feel wonderful in that moment, eyes mapping his face and memorizing everything about this moment, down to the heat of his body beside yours in your bed. The comfort of him being here. The sense of peace.

A rhythmic vibration comes from your dresser. You realize, sneaking out of bed, it’s his phone, plugged in and charging from the outlet beside the furniture. Glancing at him, he doesn’t move.

Approaching the device, you stand in the sunlight heating your carpet. You flex and wiggle your toes over the softness, reveling in the warmth as you peek at his phone. A selfie of himself with Sehun is illuminating the screen, a phone icon tilting from left to right in the center with Sehun’s contact information below it.

For a moment you debate answering it until it’s too late and it stops. It’s only when it repeats and Sehun calls him a second time do you decide to unplug it and carry it quickly to to the living room to answer it.

“Hello?” you say gently into the receiver.

“Y/N?” Sehun breathes, sounding relieved.

You look back at your open bedroom door, leaning back to further look inside at Junmyeon, who hasn’t moved an inch.

“Yeah, is everything okay?” you ask, walking to the kitchen. You glance at your medication on the counter. You should take it- but you need to relieve your bladder before you drink anything.

Turning back to the living room, Sehun answers you in a rush, “I’m assuming since you answered, he’s with you?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” you ask, leaning against the wall and looking out of a window, down at the street in front of your apartment.

Sehun sighs, “He just up and left and didn’t tell anyone where he was going and oh, I don’t know, hasn’t answered any of our texts or calls.”

You feel guilty suddenly, “Sehun I’m so sorry.”

“Even Soohyun didn’t know if he was with you. He said he tried to call you but you didn’t answer either. He told me if you didn’t answer this morning he was going to go to your place.”

Quickly and quietly, you fly back to your bedroom, leaning down to check your phone.

Sure enough, you’ve got seven missed calls from Soohyun and one from an unknown number. Twelve text messages accompany the notification bar. Majority are from Soohyun, but you read two of them are from the unknown number, telling you it’s Sehun and asking if Junmyeon is with you. Checking why you missed all of their attempts to reach you, you see your phone is on silent, somehow.

You breathe in deeply, “I’m sorry, my phone was on silent by accident.”

The idol is silent for a minute, “Just tell me he’s okay.” he demands softly after a moment.

Junmyeon, having heard noise, stirs in the sheets. His body curls in on itself slowly, his dark hair disappearing beneath the white covers before he stretches back out, his bare arms reaching over his head with a groan.

“Yeah, I think he’s okay now.” you say quietly.

Junmyeon rolls over, facing you and squinting one eye open. He smiles at you but frowns shortly after, seeing his phone pressed to your ear.

He sits up, quickly rubbing his eyes and holding out a hand.

“Hang on, he just woke up.” you comment, passing the phone over to him before climbing back on the bed.

His arm curls around your waist as you curl up next to him. He kisses your hair and you can hear Sehun from the other line yelling at him.

“Yes, yes, okay, I got it. My bad.” he groans, still half asleep.

You’ve come to learn Sehun doesn’t just get mad- he gets concerned. Angrily upset, when it comes to Junmyeon, his best friend, his brother, his leader. You can hear the fear in his voice, answered by Junmyeon’s soft assurance that he’s okay and he is sorry for making him worry.

“I just needed some space away.” your lover comments with a sigh, rubbing the warmth of his palm up and down your arm.

While you listen, you shoot Soohyun a text that everything is fine and he doesn’t need to come over and you’re sorry your phone was on silent. The anxiety of the situation fizzles out and you relax just to notice you still need to pee.

With a pout from him, you extract yourself to use the bathroom while he finishes his conversation, slumped over and groggy, rubbing his face.

He’s still on the phone when you emerge, so you head for the coffee pot. Your hands work on autopilot to fill the decanter with water, pour it in, spoon in the grounds, get out cups and click the ‘start’ button.

Lost in thought, you pick up the imposing bottle of your medication where it rests beside the coffee pot. You reread the label over a few times, just as always, before unscrewing the safety cap and shaking one out into your palm. You make a mental note to order a refill soon, squinting one eye to look into the bottle and count how many are left.

Rough hands sliding around your waist startle you, dropping the bottle onto the counter and spilling some onto its surface.

#suho x reader #suho smut #junmyeon x reader #junmyeon smut #exo smut #suho angst #suho fluff #junmyeon angst #junmyeon fluff #exo fanfic #suho fanfic #junmyeon fanfic #exo fanfiction #allotrope #kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #kpop writers

[youeverfeelcursed]

On the Narrative of Last of Us Part 2 (3/3)

So this should be the last part on the narrative but I’ll probably post more thoughts on characters, representation, maybe on some details of the gameplay that just made me wish I could design something like this and most likely a text on where do I think this franchise is going to. 

I will also check and fix the previous posts as I know there’s typos and some mismatched data and maybe some timelines confusing. Logically, it comes with posting at my 3am and working from memory and not notes. 

That said, lets just move onto what I hope is interesting enough for people to read these old woman’s ramblings. For anyone still reading, thank you very much for your attention, it’s been a while since I truly enjoyed analizing an art piece.

(Note: I’m marking this post for rechecking as I feel its a bit convoluted. I blame it being 4am.) 

We ended the previous Act 3 (Abby’s Act) with a overhead shot (or aerial if you prefer) of Ellie and Dina on different sides of the shot, close but separated with Ellie being bathed by a red light and both represented in a descending oblique line from Dina to Ellie. 

I find it a wonderful shot that represents Ellie’s story in few and simple details. 

(For those interested, the name in the screenshot is from MkIceAndFire a No commentary channel I follow, go check him out!) 

From here, we jump to what I called the respise intermission, a short part but full of important details for the understanding of the next and final act. 

Like a moth to the flame, or how living sometimes is harder than dying.

The next part of Ellie’s story is as bittersweet as the best coffee you’ll ever have. We find her reminiscencing over Joel’s watch on hers and Dina’s bedroom. Putting it away we get to finally hold in our arms the cutest potatoe I’ve ever seen: JJ! Jesus that child is cute. And it’s obvious that Ellie loves him with all her heart. 

During this time we get to explore the beautiful they both probably restored to live in, in which it specially caught my attention how Ellie surprinsingly gets a full room for herself, whereas Dina seems to have a small space in the living room , where the photo of her sister sits.

I loved this part so much but I could feel that something was wrong, and it is. If we read Ellie’s diary we find out that she’s having trouble sleeping and dealing with people, needing to hide and what’s most likely profound PTSD thats later shown with her breaking down after herding all the sheep. 

A detail that I found important is the fact that she breaks down while having JJ in her arms, which has to be removed by Dina in case she hurts him during her seizure. Because remember that for Ellie protecting those she cares for is very important, so, does she feel she can protect them now?

Stop for a minute and think of how hard is for nowadays soldier to treat PTSD even with psychological support and meds, and how many of those war survivors end commiting suicide anyway. Now imagine that same in a world where violence is constant - yes they live peacefully in the farm but do you really think they don’t have to deal with any straggler? - and there’s basically zero to none mental health support.

Thats where it is important to pay attention to the moment when Ellie is coming back from hunting, how she cleans her face and takes a deep breath and puts her mask on - an obvious referal to her words in her diary - just before going back to Dina and JJ. 

I mean this is not the face of a person fully happy, its the face of a person thats putting her best front but catastrophically failing her inner battle. 

Tommy’s visit manages to break any remainer of the mask she tried to maintain so hard. It is obvious how while he tells her how he found information about Abby that with every word she breaks a little bit more. The trembling, tight shut lips and her open wide eyes that look as hopeful as they look lost. 

If this were another world, one in which I believe Ellie could get help, I would have hated that she left. But she says it herself, she doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t eat, she has a full room for herself so she can have space and even so she leaves for long times alone. She’s not really living, she’s riding the waves as they come but never truly enjoying it because by now her trauma is so deep I would have been surprised that she stayed. 

Because when Tommy talks about Abby, she feels a light, a hope of being able to just pour all of this shit out of her. Abby is not even important anymore, shes just a barrier for Ellie for her own liberation from her demons. Or thats what she thinks. 

She truly does JJ and Dina, but she’s completely broken inside. She’s missing pieces and for her, this is a chance of regaining them. It’s not even about vengeance anymore, it’s about rest. An end. Closure. 

What comes around, goes around. Or how Santa Barbara was the so needed eye opening. 

I was truly happy to see Abby and Lev being kind of silly and well, happy. They are the example of how you can heal when you learn to forgive both yourself and others. A extreme image compared to what we’ll see from Abby next time.

Fast-forward to Ellie after leaving the Rattlers village. Look at Ellie, she’s slightly delirious - Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby... - completely battered, skinny, with a fucked up side, half limping and pulling through out of sheer desesperation. She needs to do this, because if she doesn’t everything she left behind - Dina, JJ, Jackson - will be for nothing. She says it herself in her diary, she cannot think of that. 

And it’s funny. It’s funny there she goes. She helps Abby down and follows both of them to two small boats where she makes a scranny and completely eaten up Abby battle with her in exchange of not hurting Lev. 

The battle is sad. Abby contrary to Ellie had started healing so she didn’t want to battle. But it’s sad, these two beautiful human beings battling against each other as shadows of what they used to be, eaten away by life, hate and stupid decisions. You just feel like being over it because by this point it just feels completely stupid to keep warring. 

And there, Ellie doesn’t kill Abby. We get a flashback of Joel playing the guitar that stops her from killing her. 

And it’s funny, it’s funny because without Ellie both Lev and Abby would be rotting in those pillars. She left her home to kill a woman and ends saving both their lives! Why would she do that? 

We end this Act 4 with Ellie alone, watching the last remains of her flame disappear into the nothing. Rock bottom. You cannot go down further. That’s what it means. She left her family, Tommy is crippled and kind of hates her, Jesse is death, Joel is death, Ryley is death.

 And yet she left Abby leave. But why? 

The answer to all this crazyness is in the last flashback of her and Joel and a few words that are thrown into the night. 

“I was supposed to die in that hospital. My life would’ve fucking mattered. But you took it from me!”

Purpose. 

Yes, purpose. A meaning to her life. A meaning that has been ripped from her hands multiples times in situations out of her control. Is this what she really wants? Her life to revolve around vengeance? Is this what she’s choosing? 

So for once, she decides for herself and she decides that no. She doesn’t want that path. It’s not enough anymore. 

Ellie was supposed to die with Riley, but she survived and found out that’s she’s immune. 

Ellie traveled from one side to another of USA to be the solution to humanity’s problem. To help create a vaccine, whatever the cost. She was ready for it, she was ok with it. But it was ripped from her and lied about it multiple times. 

Imagine thinking you’re immune but that it means absolutely nothing. After getting yourself mentally ready for whatever it would happen, you are told that you’re useless. That you cannot help. That you’re worthless. 

Worthless. 

She ends in Jackson, And learns she’s been betrayed by the person she trusted most, that she could have meant something instead of just living taking care of cows and patrolling. 

It was impossible for Ellie to remain the same even before Joel’s death. Because Ellie is a very complicated character made of survivor guilt, a need to have a purpose in life, too many personal loses and self hating. Not only that, but all of this happens during her adolescence, a time which is hard to deal already without all these traumas piling up. 

Joel’s killing is what makes the bomb explode. Suddenly she can do something, she can leave Jackson and she can revenge him. Again, purpose. She can feel alive because she’s got finally a direction. It’s just not the correct one, because we all know that hate is a terrible guide but for her, is the only guide amids the fog. 

Ellie is a character that has been lost from the moment she learned she could have helped humanity. Chasing Abby was literally the easy path to take to give some meaning to her life. 

When she was with her family at the ranch, I truly believe she wanted her purpose to be to protect her family, but it was something impossible for her to do in her condition. She tried hard, but she couldn’t do it. Her diary again sheds some light on these, on how she feels she has nothing else to give to them. 

We know that, if Joel hadn’t been killed, she could have healed given enough time. She could have forgotten him. She could have find a motivation in Jackson. But there’s so much you can push something until it completely breaks. 

I think that, at the end of the game, when she walks from the ranch she realizes she cannot keep going like this. That if she wants her life to mean something, she has to do it herself instead of just waiting for it to happen. And I feel I know which way she will take next and why. 

Although the ending might seem sad, I found it strangely positive. The circle comes to a end, the guitar that Joel cleaned in the first seconds of the game, is put down by an Ellie lacking two of her left hand fingers impossible, to play it again that way. It is an act of moving on, but not of forgetting. 

Of finally attaining peace of mind, and the chance of recovering herself. 

#the last of us 2 #the last of us II #the last of us part 2 #tlou #tlou part 2 #tlou 2 #the last of us 2 narrative #the last of us 2 analysis

[ducktracy]

146. don’t look now (1936)

release date: november 7th, 1936

series: merrie melodies

director: tex avery

starring: tex avery (egbert), berneice hansell (cathleen, bear cubs), tommy bond (devil, cupid cuckoo bird), martha wentworth (woman woodpecker), billy bletcher (devil cuckoo bird)

the first of quite a few cartoons where tex avery has supplied his own voice. the only other directors i can think of who have done voices in cartoons are bob clampett (who was also the source of the famous BEOWIP/BOIP sound effects) and cal howard (who would voice gabby in clampett’s get rich quick porky. ironically, tex avery would supply his laugh in a cal howard and cal dalton cartoon, porky’s phoney express.) regardless—it’s valentine’s day, and cupid is itching to do some matchmaking. but, as isaac newton taught us, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. in this case, a little devil is the opposite reaction, ready to break some hearts.

it’s valentine’s day, as indicated by a valentine card popping up on the screen reading “will you be my valentine?” fade to a beautiful layout of dan cupid’s humble abode, a fittingly heart shaped home, mailbox... even the butterflies flittering about have noticeably heart shaped wings. the interior is no different than the exterior: cupid’s asleep in his heart shaped bed, when a heart shaped cuckoo bird pops out of a heart shaped cuckoo clock, calling “time’s a-wastin’!”

cupid wakes up in an instant and bounds over to his exposed shower (reminiscent of a chemical shower in your local biology lab), quickly dousing himself one water and toweling off. he pulls his arrow holder out from the umbrella stand, tearing off a page of the calendar. “well! st. valentine’s day! my big day!” a cute and clever visual as cupid heads outside, right to his garden, where rows of arrows sprout up from the soil. cupid grabs his lawn mower and makes his way across the field, the arrows neatly piling into his holster over his head.

a good bit of personality is exuded as cupid prepares for the big day with some target practice. first, he shoves a pile of playing cards inside a toaster. he pulls the lever down with his foot, and as he engages in his airborne game of 52 pickup, he shoots numerous arrows at the cards, pinning them all against a tree in the shape of a heart, with an ace of hearts right in the middle. to further display some naïve pride (bordering cockiness), cupid fires an arrow through a hole in the tree, the arrow curving and returning to him through a hollow log. placing an apple on his head in the meantime, cupid still manages to hit his target successfully. and for good measure, he engages in a quick round of a duck shooting carnival game. he pings all of his wooden ducks down in an instant, save for one, who panics and attempts to flee the arrow. nevertheless, he too gets hit. an amusing gag with a good balance of cute and funny. satisfied, cupid embarks, leaving a sign on his front gate that reads GONE HUNTING.

meanwhile, we have a very clever parallel with a strong sense of juxtaposition. now focus on a little devil cherub, whose house is almost exactly like cupid’s, though adorned with foreboding, “evil” furniture, including an asbestos pillow. his cuckoo clock, a boiler, opens up to reveal a billy bletcher voiced bird who announces “crime marches on!” the devil awakens and hops out of his bed, which is actually one giant frying pan (or burner, or grill, or whatever you want to call it.) he too takes a shower, bathing in the cool, refreshing red hot flames pouring out of the shower head. already the parallels are humorous and clever, heightened by how obvious they are. the devil repeats the same calendar shtick as cupid, declaring “well! st. valentine’s day! my big day!” outside, the devil’s mood isn’t nearly as cheery as cupid. he scoffs at the audience, kicking a line of cans with malice as he trudges along. “aw, this valentine day gag is the bomb! love, kisses, sweethearts, sissy stuff!”

regardless of opinion on valentine’s day, it’s undeniable that love is in the air, as displayed by two flirtatious turtles, the guy begging for the girl’s affection. thankfully, cupid is just around the corner. cupid launches into “don’t look now”, detailing about how happy lovebirds will be once struck with his fated arrows. while the doting turtle is in the midst of a maurice chevalier impression, his girl gets struck by cupid’s arrow, and suddenly reciprocates his feelings, literally diving into the frontside of the turtle’s shell. smooth and highly amusing animation as the two turtles swing around together in one turtle shell envelope, picking up the lyrics. a gag that would be similarly used to a higher degree in tortoise wins by a hare, the two lovebirds walk side by side in the shell, both going inside and popping out the other end, now walking on their hands, their heads sticking out where their tail(s) should be and their legs where the head(s) should be. very smooth and subtle animation. i’m not too great with my animator indemnifications this early, but i’d guess chuck jones animated this scene, seeing how fluid it is.

jolly little cupid sings a few more bars, when the devil joins in, ready to spread his own love. two yokel bears bashfully dote on a log, ripe for the devil’s picking. the male bear (named egbert), voiced by tex avery, guffaws “will ya—gosh, huh huh, will ya—“, interrupted by berneice hansell’s squeaky voice urging him to go on. just in time for the devil to swoop in, whispering in the girl’s ear: “will ya go sit on a tack, ya old horse face?”

it seems there was either a cut made here, or just a startlingly awkward transition as we jump cut to the devil laughing, the woman and the log out of screen. “i’ve got something here that’ll fix these lovesick mugs! take a gander at this!” the devil takes off his bowler hat and shows off the inside contents: blonde hairs, lipstick, bobby pins, and even a garter, all tucked away in little pouches pinned inside the hat. delightfully scandalous and just a great premise in general.

elsewhere, a woodpecker knocks on the door of a quaint little tree home (with his beak, of course.) out steps a lady woodpecker (presumably his wife), to which the husband holds up a card, nudging his sweetie. “hey, how do ya like to be my valentine, kiddo?” “do ya mean it?” “yes, i mean it!” the wife looks at the audience. “should i tell him?” just then, the devil pops up behind the man’s shoulder, gingerly placing a strand of blonde hair on his coat. the giant, oval shaped eyes of the devil give this scene away as bob clampett animation. the lovebirds embrace... but not for long. the wife takes note of the hair and grows rightfully furious, throwing a barrage of pots and pans at her double crossing husband. cupid happens to be strolling by, noticing the clamor. a simple fire of the arrow and the wife is back to her loving self, both woodpeckers happily kissing as they repeatedly peck each others beaks with hilarious speeds (and great jackhammer sound effects), so powerful that both of their beaks become bent and crumpled.

cupid’s next victim is a forlorn skunk, moping on a tree trunk. cupid pings her with his arrow, and in no time the little skunk is as giddy as ever. she saunters up to the local stand selling valentines, cooing “hello boys!” in an instant, the crowd disperses, leaving the poor skunk all to herself. tex avery would base a whole cartoon on the unsuccessful love lives of skunks with his short lil ‘tinker at MGM in 1948. to gain the affections of the girls, ‘tinker puts on his best frank sinatra impression, and the bobbysoxers swarm in droves.

back to egbert, the hayseed bear who desperately attempts to woo back his snooty girlfriend cathleen, strutting by with her nose in the air while he insist she’s got him in the wrong. cupid comes to the rescue once more, pinging both bears with his arrows. timing is hilariously succinct as they both pause a beat, dumbfounded, and then instantly exclaim “LET’S GET MARRIED!” with that, they rush away to prepare for the big celebration.

after a time card that simply states “so—“, egbert strolls up to the front door of cathleen’s house, now donning a snazzy suit. he knocks on the door. “are ya ready, sweetie?” “just a minute!” cathleen may not be ready, but the devil sure is. he goes full out, tossing hairs, garters, bobby pins, lipstick marks, you name it. cathleen opens the door, sporting her wedding dress, when she finds her husband to be decked in every scandalous clue imaginable. a closeup reveals even more dirty yet fantastic details: panty hose, burlesque tickets, a phone number, a garter, and a face covered in lipstick. the entire situation is amplified in humor as egbert is completely unaware of his appearance. cathleen prepares to wallop egbert over the head with her bouquet, but another arrow from an offscreen cupid sends her down on egbert instead, practically sucking his face off.

the devil is absolutely fed up with cupid’s meddling. “aw, hey, what’s the gag of ruining my fun!? ya sissy!” he three stooges (i’m coining that as a verb now) cupid, poking him in the eyes and slapping him silly, picking him up above his head and twirling him around before slamming him to the ground and sitting on top, pulling cupid’s leg as he cries out in pain. in retaliation, cupid fashions the devil’s tail like an arrow, shooting him with his bow and sending the devil flying into a tree, who curses at cupid incomprehensibly. his work now done, cupid leaves the devil to his miserable, temperamental self.

to quote hank williams, wedding bells are ringing in the chapel as egbert and cathleen march into the church, surrounded by a doting crowd. just as they stroll down the aisle, the devil is finally able to dislodge his tail from the tree, ready to spark mischief. he approaches two kids outside of the church, bribing them each with lollipops. “okey dokey. now, here’s your candy. all you gotta do is go in the church and say...”

we cut to the inside of the church before getting the full gist of the devil’s bribe, which is a lovely choice in set up. the officiator is asking the audience for any objections, while egbert shakes terribly, his legs knocking together in panic. even the organ is silent. no objections. content, egbert and cathleen exchange warm smiles, going in for the kiss, when...

“daddy! daddy! daddy!” the two little bear cubs from before bound into the church, jumping right into a befuddled egbert’s arms. all bets are off on the wedding as cathleen storms out, dismissively throwing the bouquet in egbert’s face. a lovely detail as he still attempts to catch it hopelessly. the devil is absolutely thrilled, laughing in hysterics at his best job yet. unfortunately, he’s finally beat by his nemesis: cupid fires an arrow at the devil, and he too is struck with the love bug, his sour demeanor now replaced as he giddily floats along, grinning in a giant self parody of himself. what i love about tex’s cartoons is that everything feels like a parody of itself. it’s one extreme or the other.

for the final time, cathleen is zinged again with cupid’s arrow, and she rushes back to egbert, kissing him and dragging him back in the church. activities are resumed as normal, the officiator going on like before. “i now pronounce you... uh oh.” he dives into a nearby pew, everyone turning their heads to see what the matter is. no time is wasted as everyone else takes cover, too. now donning a top hat and bib, the devil strolls down the aisle with the little lonely skunk from before. iris out.

a very entertaining cartoon that takes a little while to get momentum, but once it’s there it’s certainly there. it’s not too often you find a valentine’s day cartoon at warner bros (the only other one i can think of is frank tashlin’s the stupid cupid.) this certainly is a non traditional take, and a very good one at that. the scandalous humor was the best part of the short, whether it be the devil decking out egbert in garters and blonde hairs, or convincing two little kids to shout “daddy! daddy!” in the church. while the beginning was a bit slow, the parallels make up for it, and at least contribute some added interest. in all, a cartoon that’s worth watching, especially for the second half.

link!

#lt #don’t look now #reviews #long post #avery

[diredigression]

Fallout February, Feb 12, Wasteland Recipes AND Comradery

Another edit of an old chapter, that kind of fits both prompts. Sad comradery is still comradery, right? And half fitting both prompts counts for one full prompt right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sole, Chapter 2

She isn’t sure how long she’s been awake. She assumes she must have slept, but she can’t summon the effort to care about when.

All she knows is that she has been working. Trying to make the place habitable, whatever that means here. She and Codsworth have cleaned the inside of what had once been a house, the neighbors’ house, people she probably had been friendly with before they were vaporized or had asphyxiated in that vault. She’s probably supposed to care. But all she really cares about is how had they managed to let their house fall into such disarray? The missus must be so ashamed. The atrociously dirty floor, giant bug carcasses scattered throughout, door falling off the fridge, not that the fridge works anymore anyway. Codsworth tends to the maintenance of the doors and equipment, to the extent that they can be fixed, occasionally bringing furniture from neighboring houses, while she sweeps and scrubs the floors and tables. 200 years abandoned or no, the state of the place is shameful. Mr. Garvey had chosen the house for its convenient workshop. She had intended to insist on hosting them at her own home; she knew she had left it pristine. But she hadn’t actually been able to make herself go to it. A wall had gone up in her mind around the idea, and something very quiet and deep had convinced her that trying to circumvent it wasn’t a good thing.

Not that she really believes it has been 200 years. That was silly. Cod’s real time clock hardware must’ve been damaged in the bombing. She hasn’t bothered asking her new companions either. She does believe that the bombs fell; she’d seen it, after all. At least, she can mostly convince herself of that. And just look at the state of the place. But 200 years? Incomprehensible.

Mr. Sturges has been working outside. He’s patched the holes in the roof and the walls, trying to weatherproof the building. As for Mr. Garvey, she vaguely remembers him gathering them together in the Concord street, the three survivors, and shepherding them towards Sanctuary. Missus Murphy had wanted them there, after all. Had somehow known about her old home. Convenient, as she would have led them that way anyway. Where else felt safe? Upon arrival though, once bedrolls were laid out and he’d made sure everyone had eaten and had their injuries tended, once Mr. Sturges had repeatedly assured him that everyone was okay and there was nothing else he need do, that all the injuries would mend even though apparently they’d long since run out of stimpaks and she had none of her own—Mr. Garvey had gone dark. He’d spent the next…however long it’s been…wrapped in his bedroll, empty eyes staring across the room, barely moving but to accept the food she’s diligently fed him.

Scrubbing floors, cooking, feeding recalcitrant eaters. Life almost feels normal. Except she doesn’t usually cook with bug and dog and these things Mr. Sturges called “tatos” that are definitely not actual tomatoes. But that’s life in wartime, learning to cook with whatever you have available. She is no stranger to this. She makes do. It’s not like she can taste the food, anyway, and the same probably applies to Mr. Garvey. Mr. Sturges offered to cook and to feed Mr. Garvey multiple times, but he apparently finally realized that she only meets this with mortification rather than appreciation and finally stopped. Damned if she isn’t still capable of doing her job, and how dare he imply otherwise.

They fall into routine, and eventually she begins tracking time again. Wake, prep breakfast for the men and then herself. Clean whatever is next on the list. Prep lunch. More cleaning. Prep dinner. Haul water to the bathtub, as the running water isn’t working. Take a bath. It’s bad enough that she only has her skintight vault suit to wear, day after day. She can’t stand the shame of being filthy around company, no matter how much water she has to haul. Go to bed, her in one room and the men in another. Mr. Sturges had tried to convince her to sleep in the same room, something about keeping watch and staying safe. But what is going to hurt her in the house? And god forbid she sleep in the same room with strange men.

Day after day, the routine continues. The house becomes less dirty and better walled. Cook, clean, wash, sleep. Cook, clean, wash, sleep.

Then one day, Mr. Garvey returns to life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She’s trying to spoonfeed Mr. Garvey a vegetable stew, the dinner she’s been most comfortable making lately. It’s been hard to make herself feed it to someone when she knows it isn’t salted, because apparently salt is an impossible ingredient to find here in the post-nuclear-apocalypse. But she can’t taste the lack of salt, so she makes herself pretend it’s fine. They have to eat something or starve, after all.

It’s been a hard day. Mr. Sturges has cobbled together a water purifier, somehow managing to scavenge sufficient supplies from across the town. Judging by the cursing she heard, it hasn’t been a pleasant task. Mr. Garvey is being harder to feed than usual, starting to actively fight her instead of placidly accepting whatever she makes him do.

Then he starts sobbing, words slipping out between great, horrifying wails. “I can’t even f…freaking…eat right.”

She looks up for Mr. Sturges, frantic. She’s vaguely aware that this isn’t his job, she’s supposed to be good at this, but she can’t bring the ability to mind. But he’s right there, taking Mr. Garvey from her, cradling him against his chest. “Hey, now. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

“I can’t move. I can’t help you rebuild. I can’t even eat right.”

“Come on, there’s nothing to apologize for. You worry about you, and everything will take care of itself.”

“I’ve failed everyone who ever relied on me. I led them to Concord. I got them killed. They’re dead because of me.”

“You’ve been through a rough time, man. The worst. But it’s not your fault. You got us out of Quincy, you got us out of Lexington. You—you saved my life, man. I wouldn’t be alive if not for you. And you tried your damndest to save their lives too. That’s all any of us can do.”

“They’re all dead…”

Mr. Garvey’s sobbing softens into sniffles, and Mr. Sturges holds him and whispers gently. She slips out of the room. This is no longer her duty.

#dire's sole #sole survivor #sosu #fallout #fallout 4 #fo4 #oc #fallout oc #falloutfebruary2020 #fallout february 2020 #fallout february #preston #sturges #preston garvey #fallout 4 preston garvey #fallout sturges

[the-fiction-witch]

Bath Time

REAL LIFE:  COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: KINDA SEXY + MOSTLY FUNNY

"Hummm Hello pretty girl" Thomas smirked wrapping his arms around me tightly "Fuck off Thomas" I complain pushing his hands away as I was sat on the edge of our bathtub waiting for the water to fill up "Awww somebody's cranky" he smiled "Thomas what do you want?" I ask checking the water temperature "Nothing" he shrugs "just hoping you actually save me some hot water you silly thing" "I will relax" I laughed as I shut the hot tap off and starting the cold water putting some bubbles in "Ooohh... Is my beautiful girlfriend gonna have a sexy bubble bath" Thomas smirked "Fuck off Thomas" I told him pushing him out the bathroom so I turned the tap off and stripped my clothes throwing them in the hamper and climbing into my hot steamy bubble bath I happily sighed laying my head on the little pillow Letting every muscle be relaxed by the soft water "Knock knock?" Came from the door "Ugghr what?" I ask annoyed he was interupting my relaxation "I have stuff to do before my bath you know" he complained as he came in his hand over his eyes "You can look Thomas" I sigh "nothing you haven't seen before" "I won't look just point me in the direction of the sink" he says walking forward so as soon as he got close I turned him and let him walk right into the sink "ooww! Thank you honey..." He sighed opening his eyes and looking in the mirror "What do you need to do?" I ask "Decide what the hell I'm doing with my hair" he answered "Wash it" I incourage "No shit" he laughs messing with his hair he had been letting it grow out again, it was currently somewhere snuggly between newt from death cure and whitey Winn and I admit I kinda like it like this it's fun to play with when it's like this "what would you recommend? Your more used to having long hair then I am" He asks "Your hair is not long Thomas" I laughed "It's long for me" he shrugs "Wash it probably, maybe deep conditioner" I smile sitting up and grabbing my shampoo starting to wash my own hair "Deep conditioner is when you like rub the stuff that kinda looks like hand cream in right?" He asks "Yes" I laughed as I noticed his smirk in the mirror I looked to see what he was looking at and I noticed his eyes where right on my breasts the mirror angled so he could see me in the bath tub "Thomas!" I complain covering my chest with my arms "Ohh come on your sat in a bubble bath you can't blame me for checking out your tits" he smirked and I sighed putting conditioner on my hair and leaving it while I wash so it works better until I noticed my soap was empty "Thomas, can you grab me another bottle of my body wash?" I ask "Sure" he says going to the cupboard under the sink and handing me a new bottle "Thank you" I smiled "Your welcome" he says giving my cheek a kiss and going back to the mirror and sink "Are you getting rid of it?" I ask putting my soap on my hands and starting to wash "Getting rid of what?" He asks "That thing" I warn looking at him in the mirror "What thing?" He laughs "That foolish attempt at facial hair you are growing above your lip" I tell him "Nope" he smirked "my face I can do what I want" he smirked trying to fix said facial hair a little better "I'm not saying you can't Thomas I'm simply saying I don't like it" I told him as I wash "it stabs me when you kiss me" "You seem to like it fine when I'm kissing in your-" he smirked "Thomas!" I interupt "Just saying" he smirked "you nearly done yet?" He complained "Nope" I smiled as I wash "Ugh you take forever" he sighed turning and leaning in the sink smirking at me "umm Hello pretty girly" "Shut up" I sighed "What? Your sat in a sweet smelling bubble bath completly naked w Rubbing body wash that kinda looks like jizz on your tits can you blame me for having a Bonner?" He asked "It doesn't look like jizz!" I laughed "It's white, kinda colourless, lightly cloudy and comes out the bottle like jizz getting sprayed" he explained so I got the bottle and out more on my hand I kinda see what he means "You may have a point there Thomas" I sigh "I can be useful for things other then food and sex y/n" he shrugged "Rarely" I laughed kicking some water at him "Whoa! Watch it" he complained "I'm getting my dam pants off before you throw your bubbly water at me again" "Okay I won't be long" I smiled I giggled a little watching him slip his clothes off until he was left in just his tight blue boxer shorts and he sat against my bath looking at me "what?" I asked "You look pretty is all honey" he says giving my lips a little kiss I kissed back until his hand that had been on my neck moved down taking a grip on my breast "Enough" I warn slapping his hand away "You spoil all my fun" he winked "Move let me get out" I laughed throwing water at him "Fine" he laughs getting up "your water still hot?" He asks as I got my towel and climbed out wrapping myself up tight "Yeah why?" I ask "I might just share your water I can't be asked to run it again" he sighed so I shrugged going to the mirror and starting to do all my face stuff and lotion as Thomas slipped his boxers off and climbed in the bath happily laying there almost asleep I smiled at his reflection in the mirror "I see you looking honey" he smirked "I'm allowed to look, nothing I don't see on a daily basis" I laughed "True" he shrugs "you always see me more then I see you, hardly fair I think" he smirked as he sat up starting to wash his hair but I noticed something "Are you using my shampoo?" I ask "Yeah" he shrugs "You could have asked?" "I was under the impression you knew I was?" "No, why aren't you using yours?" "Because men's shampoo smells bad" he answered "men's shampoo is always like rugged and leather and that sort of stuff" he explained "sometimes in life I just want my hair to smell like coconut and Banana" "Ask next time you silly boy" I smiled giving him a kiss "Noted honey" he smiled as I got my underwear on "can I use your conditioner too? As I have used your shampoo? Plus...I don't know if I have conditioner?" "You can Thomas," I smiled with a laugh he was trying but not doing to well he really isn't used to having his hair this long "ohh come here" I laughed shutting the lid of the toilet and sitting in it crossing my legs and putting the conditioner in my hands and pretty much doing it for him "Umm that feels nice to have you do it" he smiled "like I'm at some fancy spa" "Don't get used to it" I laughed "What is the thing you do with your hair?" He asks "that comes from the fancy place and comes on a stick?" "That's a hair mask Thomas, you can do that in a couple weeks if you want" I laughed "Yeah, we can go to the fancy place get some cool bath bombs have a proper little spa day" "We could, just don't put the face mask on everywhere" I laughed "One time" he sighed "And I'm never gonna let you live it down" I laughed"all done" I smiled "Thank you honey" he smiled giving me a kiss "Your welcome" I laughed Going and sitting down to start shaving my legs "Please don't take another chuck out your leg y/n? that really scared me last time" "I told you I was fine" "Yeah, I'm sat in the living room watching my movie, next thing I know my girlfriend wonder's into the room with a pint of blood dripping down her legs...you expect me not to panic!" "I cut myself shaving all the time, so do you but you shave small area in your face I got two whole legs, two armpits, two arms and a Virginia... I'm gonna bleed a little more" I explain "It still worries me" he says "and don't you dare come anywhere near me with that thing" I giggled as I finished my legs moving my razor towards him in a threatening way "no no no! You stay away" "Come on just let me get like a tiny bit" I laughed "No! Your not taking that bloody razor anywhere near me" he warns so I smirked quickly moving before he could stop me and getting a massive chuck of his leg hair off "Haha I win!" I giggled "You evil girl!" He complained trying his best to move away from me "You rather I wax them?" I ask "I'd rather you Didn't do anything" he complained "you couldn't even get like a normal bit you had to get a strip just in the middle" he asks and i giggled "fine you can do it provided I get bath sex?" He offers "Okay" I giggled "but I get to wax them after the bath sex" I smiled "What no!" He complained "I get to wax them else no sex and I swear by all the gods in this world I will wax that stupid thing of your face" I warn "Fine" he sighed "sex first" "Deal" I giggled getting my panties off and climbing in on top of him...

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!" he screams "Ohh don't be such a baby Thomas" I laughed "It hurts" he complained almost in tears "Come on your almost done three more to go" I smiled putting more hot wax on this was fun it's like tourcher I literally had to handcuff his ankles to the coffee table so he wouldn't fidget "Really?" He asks "Yep then it's on to the other leg" I laughed "Uuuhhhhh!" He whined "I don't wanna do this anymore" "Well you have half a leg done I stop and your going to look ridiculous" I laughed "The wax is fine...it's just the-" he began before I ripped the next one "Aaaaahhhh!" He screams "ahh! I'm bleeding!" He complained "Yeah it's normal" I laughed "It's not normal to bleed!" ... "All done" I laughed "Great... we're done," he sighed "Just one more place" I smirk he looked confused and I simply glanced at his on shorts "No...no no no no no no" he says trying to back away but he was still cuffed to the table "you and your fucking hot wax isn't coming anywhere near my dick!" "I know what I'm doing" I laughed "It's not the knowing I'm worried about" he says "I won't Rip your cock off" I laughed "Do you want kids someday y/n? Because this is a sure fire way my dick is never gonna work again" he complained "Ohh grow up Thomas" I laughed trying to pull his pants down "No no no! Please honey anything but that" he begs "Two choices here Thomas" I smirk playing with the melting wax "I wax the dick area or I rip that stupid facial hair off your lip your choice" "Don't make me choose" he whines "You have to the count of three before I do them both" I warn "Okay okay! Take the face" he says "Good boy" I giggled "one two" I smirk before ripping it "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He sqeualed holding his face tightly "oh my god you one hundred percent took my skin off" he says "I didn't take your skin off" I laughed making him take his hands away "your fine" I laughed giving him a kiss "now... Will you let me do your eyebrows?" I giggled "You stay away from my face you sadist" he warns

#tbs #tbs fanfic #tbs smut #tbs smutty #tbs sex #tbs imagines #TBS Imagine #thomas #thomas sangster #thomas brodie sangster #thomasbrodiesangster #thomas smut #thomas sangster smut #thomas sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster smut #thomas broide sangster imagine #thomas brodie sangster dom #thomas brodie sangster s

[until-theend-oftheline]

Alone Time Interrupted

Pairing: Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: Violence (accidental but it’s there), Sebastian is lucky you love him. Poor Will. (Just realized these sounds like Seb hurt her - he doesn’t! Not even a little bit!)    

Square Filled: Caught Red Handed for @marvelfluffbingo

Word Count: 1600ish

A/N: This is thought part of my LLL universe but as always it can also be read as a stand-alone.

I wanted to do this since the moment I saw the latest One Minute Men vid (Milk part 3) and I finally got around to it with some encouragement from @jewels2876 - completely unscheduled and unplanned fic but inspiration happened.

Betaed by: also by @jewels2876 - thank you, Jules!

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You were practically skipping when you got off the subway. It had been ages since you had a day to yourself. You loved Sebastian and your kids dearly, but there was something to be missed about soaking in the bath with scented candles all around with only your music as a distraction.

You loved being a mom. Your kids were the most amazing little humans in the world and you wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. They were two little balls of energy though and Sebastian was hardly any better. You smiled as you thought of your little family. They made you so incredibly happy. A girl just needed a moment to herself every once in a while.

So when Sebastian had announced he was spending the day shooting for his One Minute Men project, you had quickly called Georgeta and asked if she wanted to spend the morning with her grandson. Of course, she had said yes, so after dropping Isabella off at school, you had gone to Sebastian’s mom’s place to drop off Alexander. Now you skipped towards your apartment, excited for a day alone in the company of your bathtub and fuzzy robe.

As soon as you were home you headed straight for you and Sebastian’s bathroom. You selected a bath bomb he had bought you while he was in Greece filming and turned on the hot water as you stripped down. Candles were lit and your favorite Spotify playlist soon buzzed through the speakers of the room as you lowered yourself into the hot water with a sigh of contentment.

You closed your eyes, letting the music and smells calm your body and soul as you soaked in the hot water. This was heaven, even if a small part of you couldn’t help but wish Sebastian was with you, you also knew his presence would make bath time more fun than relaxing. Today you needed relaxing.

In fact, you were so relaxed you managed to doze off a little before a loud sound from the kitchen made you jump. You sat up straight, not sure if you actually heard anything at first or if it has been part of a dream you couldn’t recall. It wasn’t long before another loud crash sounded from your kitchen and you jumped a little again; instinctively wrapping your arms around your body, you stared down the unlocked bathroom door.

Another bump sounded this time followed by voices you couldn’t clearly make out over the music. Your mind started to panic. Someone was in your apartment. How was that even possible? There was a high tech security system in this building and a guard by the front door.

You quickly decided you couldn’t stay in the bathroom so you quickly, and as quietly as possible, got out of the tub. You wrapped the warm fuzzy robe around you, that you had put on the radiator for comfort as you quickly formed a plan. You had to get out without anyone seeing you. If you could get downstairs to alert the guard, everything would be fine.

You took a few steps towards the door before turning around to grab the bristle bath brush you had hanging in the shower. You weren’t sure what your line of thought was but you did feel a slight bit safer clinging to it; you snuck out of the room then down the hallway towards the main elevator shaft. You knew if you could get into the elevator and close the gate behind you, you’d be safe, you repeated over and over in your mind as you moved as quietly as possible.

“Oh hi Y/N,” a voice sounded behind you. You didn’t think of how familiar it sounded or the fact the man knew your name. You just shrieked, spinning around and swinging the brush as the intruder’s face. It collided with the side of his temple before you had time to stop yourself.

“OUCH! What the hell?” Will, one of Sebastian’s best friends and One Minute Men partner, yelled rubbing the side of his face just as Sebastian and Joe came running into the hallway from the kitchen.

“Ohmygod Will I’m so sorry!” You started apologizing as you realized what you had done, before turning around to face the two men appearing behind you. Embarrassment made your cheeks flush red as you looked from one man to the other, before meeting Sebastian’s eyes.

“Y/N I didn’t think you were home. What hap…” Sebastian started, before the scene in front of him finally clicked in his brain and he doubled over laughing as you and Will both glared at him.

“You… Oh God. Y/N/N… A bathbrush? Really?” Sebastian laughed, as Will grumbled something about you packing quite the punch.

“I thought you were burglars,” you defended yourself, grabbing your robe to wrap it closer around your body, suddenly very aware you were almost naked in front of Sebastian’s friends.  

“So you attacked Will with a bath brush?” Sebastian grinned walking up to you, running his hands up and down your arms to calm you even if he was clearly still amused by the entire thing.

“My little slugger,” he teased, causing you to pout but lean into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around you. “I’m sorry we scared you, darling,” he spoke softly and serious this time as he held you close.

“Do you need an ambulance or are we good to continue,” Joe chuckled, directed at Will who was still rubbing the side of his head.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, causing the two other guys to laugh as you peered past Sebastian’s arm towards the kitchen.

“I thought you were filming. What are you doing he…” you started before noting the pots and pans scattered all across your floor. “What the hell did you do to my kitchen?”

You pulled away from Sebastian, heading straight for the disaster area. “Sebastian!”

Sebastian was nervously rubbing the back of his neck as you turned to face him with murder in your eyes and his two friends suddenly seemed to find your floor insanely interesting.

“We were filming this thing where…” Sebastian started but stopped when he saw your raised eyebrows.

“So you’d thought you’d ruin my kitchen?” you accused, crossing your arms over your chest.

“No… I mean. We’ll put everything back when we are done,” Sebastian promised, making your shake your head as you stepped a little closer to him.

“No. You will put it back now and you can go find someone else’s kitchen to torture,” you warned, fighting to keep a straight face as a childish little whine left your partner.

“But Y/N,” Sebastian started again and it was all you could do not to laugh. You loved him and his silly, creative endeavors were part of who he was, but he wasn’t destroying your home over an Instagram video.

“No,” you grabbed the suit jacket he was wearing pulling him a little closer. “I love you Seb, but no.” You could see the fight hadn’t entirely left him so you playfully raised the bath brush still in your hand. “Don’t make me use this thing.”

“We’ll go somewhere else,” Will quickly interrupted, making you and the two other guys laughed.

“Okay,” Sebastian relented, taking the brush from your hand and throwing it on the dresser next to you, before pulling you into his arms. “I really am sorry we scared you,” he muttered, burying his face in your neck.

“Seba,” you giggled at his affections. You weren’t mad at him. This was who he was and none of them had meant to scare you. “I’m getting you all wet.”

“Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?” Sebastian smirked, pulling back a little to look down and you wiggling his eyebrows. You blushed, burying your face against his chest, trying to contain your laughter as Joe and Will hastily made their escape.

“Okay! You got this Seb. We’ll find somewhere else to film and call you later,” Joe showed Will towards the elevator.

“Yeah rather not have any mental scars to add to the physical one,” Will played, making you blush even harder.

“I’m sorry Will,” you called after the two men, but he just waved you off as the gate closed and the elevator started it’s decent.

“Lesson learned. Don’t scare Y/N,” Will yelled with a chuckle, making both you and Sebastian laugh before your eyes met and his darkened a little as he ran his fingers into the opening of your robe.

“Where were we?” his voice sounded a little lower than usual, sending a shiver through your spine.

“Well I was taking a bath and you were going to clean the mess you made of the kitchen,” you teased him, making Sebastian groan.

“Smartass.” He quickly swept you off your feet, lifting you into his arms, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist. You squealed in surprise but quickly started laughing as he playfully squeezed your ass. He walked you into the living room, clearly deciding the bedroom was too far, before throwing you on the couch making you squeal with laughter again. A laugh that was swallowed with his kiss as he lowered himself down on top of you and you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer.

Your plans of a day relaxing alone might have been interrupted, but if you were completely honest you preferred spending a childfree day in Sebastian’s arms over anything you could do on your own anyway.

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Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @sleepretreat @thejourneyneverendsx @roxyspearing @jewels2876  @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @cd1242 @mizzzpink @rumoured-whispers @becs-bunker @janeyboo @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off @jae-sch @grace-for-sale @scarletlingeries @mizzezm @readitandweepfics @averyrogers83 @captainsamwlsn @sebs-potato @sorenmarie87 @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @lucifersbird @achishisha @hp-hogwartsexpress @winchesters-favorite-girl

#marvelfluffbingo 2019 #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #seb stan #seb stan x reader #seb x reader #mcu rpf #rpf #mcu imagine #lll

[kwrittink]

Bad Idea

Pairing: Im Changkyun x Reader

Genre: Smut (with a dash of FTL, I couldn’t help it)

Warnings: mentions of sex toys, use of sex toys, language, semi-public orgasm, simultaneous masturbation, unprotected sex, creampie

Words: 4,693

This was a bad idea, definitely.

'Where's that damn controller?' You looked around frantically, but as discreetly as you could while sitting beside your best friend - and his other six friends - as they watched a movie.

"Is everything okay, Y/N?" Hoseok asked from across the room, making your head shoot up to look at him, trying to mask the little wince in your expression.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly 'ooh'-okay!" You stammered, clearing your throat afterwards and getting up, while drawing everyone's attention. I'm so close, I've got to hide somewhere... Take this thing off before they find out. "Does anyone want anything from the kitchen? I'm grabbing a drink for myself." You offered, taking a look around - but avoiding Changkyun's worried stare completely, since being your best friend, he knew something was up - before heading quickly as you could to the kitchen. 'I need to take this thing off before I really embarrass myself.' You thought, trying to ground your body on the walls and doorframe as you stumbled inside. It would be tragic to have your friends finding out you had a toy inside of you by orgasming before their eyes.

But it was a little too late, having too much of stimuli from the device inside of you, as you pressed your legs together, the small friction provided by your folds tipped you over the edge, knees giving out while you slid to the floor behind the island counter, hands covering your mouth in attempt to drown your wanton moans, after a whole hour of uninterrupted vibrations.

Tears prickled your eyes with shame, also with the frustration of feeling so good but unable to properly have your release. The orgasm I was hoping to have for so long... You sighed, trying to stand as best as you could, trying to ignore the need to whimper at the feeling of soft vibrations on your core, igniting the fire in the pit of your lower belly once again.

"Hey, is everything okay with you?" The sudden hushed tone of Changkyun behind you made your whole body jolt, a little yelp falling from your lips as you whipped around.

"Gee don't sneak out on people like that, I hope we were over it!" You breathed out and he snickered lightly with a little roll of his eyes. You should have known that he'd go looking for you, and hoped that he didn't hear you while you were cumming, like ten seconds prior.

"I just wanted to know if you were feeling okay, I he- I saw you weren't looking so fine in the living room and... You know if you're feeling sick I can ask the guys to leave, they won't mind really much." He explained, and you didn't notice his hesitancy, like a sudden realization that hit him. You shook your head slowly, knowing that if you still had time to go to the bathroom to take the device off you then everything would be fine. You didn't want to make the guys go, it had been a while the whole group could make it to your house and you wouldn't want them to leave for such a silly matter...

Still, Changkyun made them leave either way, the second he found you leaning to the wall, sweating profusely when the setting of the toy got stronger - for some unknown reason, maybe someone sat on it, which meant it was on the living room among them - and you had to clench your teeth to fight the urge to moan.

"Alright, you're sitting right here, Changkyun will make you tea and I'll draw you a bath." Jooheon, the only other one remaining at your house spoke, while you flopped on the couch facing down, flushed face against a pillow wishing you could die from the embarrassment. And the need to cum.

When he left - after your dismissive grunt - you tried to search for the controller underneath you, noticing the pattern changing ever so slightly to low to medium, so you must have lost it there somewhere.

"My fucking go-"

"Hey there was only chamomile in there so- What are you doing?" Your best friend was standing beside you, while you had your hands stuck between the cushions, ass facing up slightly to try to find the damn thing to free you from your misery.

"Oh, I... I just remembered I lost something in here, earlier but it's nothing." You couldn't even look at his face to lie as you scrambled to sit, fingers running over your hair and trying to look less fucked out.

He frowned a little then sighed, sitting on the coffee table in front of you and handed you the tea he had brew - and you winced at the very bitter taste once you could take a sip - discovering the boy didn't know how to make tea to save his life, apparently.

"Than-thank you for this I guess..." You cleared your throat and looked up at him, noticing he had a little embarrassed grin in the corner of his mouth while watching your reactions.

"I'm sorry I told him I was shit at this but he said I was better at prying what was going on from you so..."

"So he forced you to talk to me about my well-being, good to kno- ugh" You were about to quip at him when the intensity got stronger and your whole body tensed up, making you bite your tongue to suppress a whine.

"Don't be mean now baby, you know I was just trying to save you from my awful cooking skills." He chuckled, apparently not even noticing your stiffness. You were also glad he didn't seem to see how you shuddered at his way of calling you - it has been always an issue, even more at that exact moment. "Besides, I know you. If you wanted to talk about something you would. You're stubborn like that." You tried to smile while biting your lip, fighting off a moan as you approached your end once again...

Till it stopped completely, and for a moment, you thought you were going to cry. From frustration, from happiness, you had no idea. It must have ran out of batteries!

"Yeah, totally! You know me so well Kkung," You breathed out in a chuckle, trying to stand with weak knees. "You know, I'll see what Jooheonie is up to, I don't want him using every bath bomb I have on the tub." You smiled at him, needing to actually get your other friend out of the bathroom so you could finally be freed of that devilish toy, finally. And get a set of new panties, since the ones you were currently wearing were completely soiled.

"Oh you want me to help you? You still don't look so good yet," Changkyun tried, and you waved a hand dismissively, while walking as steady as you could to the hallway.

"Don't worry about me, besides that tea you made got me so much bet- Oh, oh!" You had to put a hand on the wall to steady yourself from the surprise attack of the device, and was glad it had stopped about when Changkyun reached you with a worried expression on, holding your sides carefully. You puffed out, swallowing dryly.

"See, you're not as okay as you think you are. Let me he-"

"No no, I'll be okay I swear... Just- I need to go to the bathroom." You tried to get rid of his hands - his touch made your skin tingle - and walk towards the toilet to at least drown from the embarrassment. 'If that thing keeps vibrating I'm throwing it out of the window.'

"Ah, that reminds me," He started, and you grimaced, turning around to face him while he fumbled with his pants pocket. "I think this is yours?" Questioned, tilting his head while lifting... Oh no.

"You found it! Thank God, I was desperate looking for thi-"

As you reached for it, Changkyun moved away, a different glint in his eyes as he tsk. " Not so fast, I think I'll borrow this for a little more." He said, a grin spreading on his face. The color drained from your face as you saw his thumb hovering over the intensity buttons.

"Don't be a brat Kkung, you don't even know what that is for-"

He stepped closer to you, so close that you were practically leaning on the wall of the hallway trying to move away from him. "That's where you're mistaken baby, I know exactly what this is for," With a low chuckle he looked down at your face, kicking an eyebrow up as he turned the device on once again, so unexpectedly that you had your knees jerking together to appease the vibrating sensation inside of you. It was still the lowest setting, but you'd already been edged so many times you were very sensitive.

"Ch-Changkyung I swear to god-"

The setting was suddenly heightened to the max, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your mouth fell open with a silent gasp, hands coming to cup your core. But as suddenly as it started it was off, and you almost whimpered at the loss of feeling. You were about to look up and ask - ask what? For the control back? Why he was doing this? Why did the stop? - when Changkyun's body tipped forward and pressed you completely to the wall, head coming to rest at the crook of your neck as he breathed raggedly.

"Oh my god you look so much better than I imagined you would," He grunted, and as you understood what was going on you also noticed something stiff and throbbing against your lower stomach. Your face started to grow hot again. "I'm sorry, I must be creeping you out- Shit!" He hissed, as your hands found his hard-on, palming it softly.

"Look, I'll-" You started, mind hazy with the deep moan he let out, squeezing him tighter through the sweatpants. "I'll let you play with me if you let me play with you too." Changkyun's head jerked away from your shoulder and he met your eyes, flushed cheeks framing his wide ones.

"Wh- Are you- Really?" His breathlessness made you shudder, knowing that you were the reason he was so flustered. You could only chuckle at such expression of his, impressed at how moments prior he was looking down at you with pure lust. Still, against his will his cock twitched in your hand with the proposition, making his response obvious.

Hurriedly - before you changed his mind in his conception probably - he grabbed your hand, and still with the control in his hand he pulled you towards his room, almost bumping with Jooheon, that exclaimed startled with your appearance.

"Hey, what happened, shouldn't Y/N be resting?" Asked, stopping the youngest with a hand on his chest. Changkyun hesitated for a second, unable to come up with a decent excuse since all the blood from his head was concentrating on his aching cock.

"We forgot to do Prof. Andrew's assignment, and it's for tomorrow!" You piped in from behind your friend, diverting Jooheon's eyes from your interwove fingers. "You and Minhyuk finished by any chance?" You asked and almost felt sad for the panicked expression on the redhead boy.

"Holy shit no we didn't even started! I'll hit his apartment right away, thank you!" And easy like that, you fooled your last remaining friend out of the house. Changkyun just stood there, mouth gaped as he watched his friend leave hurriedly, not even bothering to look at his phone to make sure.

"Whoa, that was kinda mean?" He finally muttered, and you snickered, taking the lead to his room with him in tow.

"Believe me, he'll be happier to be fooled like this than to hear us." You pointed out as Changkyun closed the door behind himself. "Well, it's been a while I came here," You pointed out absentmindedly. Your best friend swallowed hard nodding as he looked around and avoided eye contact. Damn, he grew awkward.

"Get comfortable, uh... I mean- hmph" You strode closer to him again, grabbing the sides of his face and in a quick movement, you pressed your lips to his, successfully shushing his little rant.

After a second of adaptation, Changkyun moved his hands to rest them on your waist, fingers snaking under your shirt and making you shiver on his arms before you pulled away, sucking at his lower lip.

"C'mon, I thought you wanted to play?" You teased, before peeling away completely from his body and prompting a groan to escape his lips.

"Oh yeah baby, tell me what you wanna do," He shot back, demeanor completely changed as well as his eyes, blown out with lust.

"I rather show you, don't you think it's better?" You bit your lower lip, before walking to the bed and kneeling at the head of it, eyes never leaving his while grabbing the sides of your shirt and pulling it over your head, exposing your white lace bra, relishing on the sight of him licking his lips and doing the same a second later, the expanse of his lean chest on display for your hungry gaze.

As he walked closer, you undid the button of your shorts slowly, having him untying the cord of his pants while you slid the jeans shorts down your thighs.

"You were the one teasing me this whole time, wasn't it?" Someone with a voice really similar to you asked in a husk tone, while your fingers moved by themselves to point to a spot on the bed in front of you, guiding him there. I must be possessed to be acting this bold.

"Not at first but damn, when I heard you moaning in the kitchen, I just couldn't help myself... I had to know how you'd look cumming." Changkyun explained as he obliged to your silent request, setting himself cross-legged in front of you, the control of your toy on top of his still raging hard-on. You hummed, leaning back on his pillows and casually spreading your legs, the damp patch of your panties for show.

"Well then, you're getting to see it first hand, but-" You raised a finger when he mentioned moving towards you, halting him completely. "I wanna see it too. You getting off, I mean." Tilting your head, you pointed to his lap.

"Oh, so I get to use this on you..." He started, moving the little controller between his fingers. "As long as I get off to the sight of you orgasming in front of me? This looks like a better deal for me, actually." You chuckled at his phrasing, shrugging.

"Well, let's see if you can last till I cum, then?" You challenged, quirking an eyebrow up. Immediately the toy started vibrating hard, making you practically yelp in pleasure, hand going to press at your folds. But again, as soon as it started, Changkyun turned it off, a sharp look on his eyes as he observed your reactions.

"Right back at you, baby." He said, and before you could muster a comeback he turned it back on in medium speed, prompting your hips to jolt slightly and a tiny cry of pleasure fell from your lips.

You knew Changkyun was inventive, but then you were experiencing first-hand. He teased you relentlessly with the toy, but also not giving out what you wanted - be either the high setting of the toy or the sight of his cock, which he palmed over his sweatpants almost lazily. That said, you weren't going to give him the taste of you begging to see him bare, and refused to cum before doing so. I just have to find a way to strip him from his pants... You thought, shutting your eyes with a whimper as he went again from the lowest pulsing setting to the medium one again. If I could just- Ah, that's it!

Heart pounding hard inside your chest, you hooked your fingers on the band of your panties, pulling them off with a swift motion and teasingly throwing them on his lap. Changkyun gasped, taking the material on his hands and, to your utter surprise, pressing it to his face, inhaling your scent and breathing out shakily.

"You smell so good I can only imagine what you'd taste like," He commented, voice so thick with lust your breath hitched.

"M-maybe I even let you... But right now I feel kinda underdressed." You sighed, fingers skimming to the sides of your closed thighs, not daring to open them before you got what you wanted.

"Well I would follow your gesture, but that's the only piece of clothing I have left. And if I'm not mistaken, if I take this off, I won't have anything to make you take off your bra." He winked, a smirk showing how proud he was with his own thinking. You scoffed and not thinking twice you arched your back and unclasped your bra sliding it off, immediately throwing it at his face, a smug expression on your face.

"All you had to do was ask, Kkung."

Defeated - but satisfied - Changkyun slid his pants off, under your eager eyes and kneeled in front of you, hand grasping his throbbing shaft. Biting your lower lip, you separated your legs once more, letting him feast his eyes on your glistening core.

"Oh god, look at how wet you are baby..." He hissed, hand jerking himself slowly. The other hand pushed with the controller, raising the intensity of the vibrations slowly, but steadily. You moaned long, getting louder as the vibrations got stronger. Your fingers found your clit, drumming on it before rubbing slow circles on it, feeling instant relief at the feeling.

"Fuck, Changkyun..." You sighed, closing your eyes for a second to relish the feeling, actually wishing it was his fingers, his lips, his tongue pleasuring you.

"Damn that's such a low blow, you sound amazing moaning my name Y/N," He called you out immediately, his deep tone rumbling in your chest. You opened your eyes to look at him with a smile, melting your expression to a louder moan when the toy was set higher. "Do it again baby please." He asked, and you gladly obliged, practically shouting his name as your hand started a furious pace on your clit, being followed by his speeding hand and grunting self, while he muttered unintelligible praises at you.

"Please Kkung, let me cum please I'm beggi- Fuck shit I'm-" You pleased in a high pitched whine, being appeased by him, one of his trembling hands pressing the button to set it to the max setting.

"Go- Holy fuck Y/N cum, I can barely last but I need to see you cum baby c'mon!" He urged, and like a charm, your walls contracted strongly around the toy as you breathlessly whispered Changkyun's name, unable to keep your eyes open as your head tipped back to the headboard.

With a heave your best friend followed suit, gasping through his own release, your name on his lips as he spilled everywhere - his hands, stomach, on the bed and a little on your inner thighs -, having half a mind to turn off the device when you started whimpering in oversensitivity.

Your breathing was still ragged when you glanced at Changkyun, meeting his own hungry eyes. You smiled, beckoning him with a finger, legs still spread out and while he moved towards you. That right there was the most world-wrecking orgasm you've ever experienced, but you still wanted more. So much more.

As he set himself between your legs, you pushed yourself up, leaning immediately to his lips and kissing them softly, feeling like an electricity was running between you two. He hummed against your lips, the hand that was holding the little controller found your back, fingers running through your spine and bringing delicious shivers to rock your body. You moaned lightly, your own fingers interwoven on his hair tugging him closer, pulling him to just lay on top of you and let you feel him - all of him.

It was about time something happened between you two and thought a little scared, you always had this small crush - well small is the understatement of the year, you were in deep - for your best friend. He's clearly less shy than I am, probably has more experience too... And it's my dearest friend, I wouldn't want to loose him-

Changkyun suddenly pulled away from your lips, already pressing you down to the mattress, and sat up quickly again, being followed by you with a deep frown on your forehead. "Changkyun what happ-"

"Look, I-" He looked away and you felt the remaining effect of your high ebbing away at his panicked expression, the sudden idea you would be rejected then and there knocking the air out of your lungs. 'But he was just kissing me...' "I can't do this, there's-" He paused, licking his lips as like to search for the right words, how to ease the hurt he was about to inflict. The only sound you could hear meanwhile was your heart breaking into pieces.

Maybe... Maybe it was something in the heat of the moment and... He can't go further to avoid ruining our friendship more?

He cleared his throat. "I have feelings for you and I know I wouldn't be able to live with myself if we..."

Wait, what?

"Wait, feelings? What feelings?" Your fingers eased up on the discarded shirt by your side and you glanced up at him, seeing his face impossibly red as he tried to hide it - and his new boner, perhaps from your previous sounds - with a pillow. Your heart sped up. "Changkyun?"

He sighed exasperatedly at your urging, maybe regretting to have said something. "I like you, alright? I know we're best friends and all but I fucking loved you from the first time you asked me to cuddle you four years ago and-"

"Oh you motherf-" Exasperated, you got up and pounced at him, this time crashing your lips with desperate need while sitting on his lap, pillow discarded carelessly to the side.

"Wait wh- Wait does this mean you-"

"I love you too yes, now fuck me you stupid brat," You cut him off with a smile, and him, mimicking your expression, only pulled you even closer to his body, chests touching while your lips met again, a deep and hot exchange between you too.

His lips were everywhere, against yours, on your neck, on your chest; his hands as well roamed your body in warm trails, taking their time at your nipples once he found they were especially sensitive and got you moaning his name against his lips. It was overwhelming, but it was everything you wanted.

But apparently he was impatient as well since Changkyun pushed your body back to the mattress and spread your legs - that by then were just like putty -, eyes focusing on your slick folds, the little 'tail' of the toy poking out of your entrance.

"I want to eat you out, what do you say? Can you handle it, baby?"

"Oh Changkyun ple-ease," You could only moan wantonly at his offer, having a grunt leave him at your response, quickly setting himself on his elbows, right between your legs.

"So beautiful... I'm going to take this off, okay?" He asked and you looked down, nodding with a heavy breath as he started pulling the little ball off your body.

His mouth was on your folds as soon as you were freed from your self-inflicted torture, dragging a loud moan as he worked his tongue over the extension of your pussy, feasting on the juices of your recent orgasm and humming at your taste. His palms came to keep your legs open, pinching the delicate skin sharply. It was a little painful and you had never experienced that but you loved it.

"Y/N, look at me baby," you glanced back down again, meeting his hungry stare and shuddering at it, while he lowered himself down again, tongue peeking out to swirl around your engorged clit, making you gasp. He smirked.

"I wanna see you looking at me while you cum all over my face, okay?" 'Oh my gosh'

You whined and nodded as an answer, and satisfied with your response he got back to it, wrapping his lips around your nub and flickering his tongue like a madman, eliciting louder and louder moans from your part, eyes prickling with tears at the fast incoming release.

You wanted to say that after cumming so many times - well at least more times than in your other days as a single person - it wasn't so strong and you had enough, but maybe this man was that good at driving you completely insane. Your hands came down to pull at his hair, earning a very pleased groan as he started to suck on your clit, one of his hands sneaking to play with your entrance, just enough to have you clenching desperately around nothing.

"Please K-KKung let me cum, please!" You begged, and getting your point he inserted one finger in, plummeting you immediately to your rather silent orgasm, unable to keep your focus on his as your eyes rolled back to your head.

Took maybe seconds before you could make out your surroundings, having Changkyun kissing around your face and neck sort of bringing you back, smiling when you whined with hands reaching out for him.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly from above you, fucked-out face with plump lips and glistening chin, and you nodded slowly, sighing.

"But I still need you to put that rock hard cock inside of me and fill me up, please?" At your phrase his whole body stiffened, the look of his eyes darkening once again, mentioned dick twitching against your leg.

"You sure of that baby? You still want me to fuck you after cumming so much?" He practically purred the question, and you nodded, biting your lip. "Oh you're going to be the death of me, Y/N," He whispered, leaning to peck your lips before looking down and guiding himself to your yearning pussy, cursing out loud as your walls enveloped him in a warm look.

After so much teasing you were extremely slippery inside but still tight around him, like a perfect fit that had both of you out of breath.

"So wet and tight- I'm so not going to last long," With Changkyun's strained speech, you reached down to rub at your clit, feeling him hit that sweet spot deep inside of him and knowing it would just take him pounding there a little harder to make you explode once again.

"Fuckmeharderpleaseplease" You whimpered, and while his pace was tortuous - for him and yourself actually - he managed to ram into you heavier, chopped yelps out of your lungs as you both struggled to tip over the edge together.

"Baby I can't I'm cumming, are you?-"

"Yes, yesyes ye- Changkyun!" You nodded frantically

He laid on top of you while gasping, hips stuttering as your walls milked him deliciously, his warm cum mixing with your juices and spilling a little as you clamped around him.

"You know that," After a moment of silence he started, still catching his breath and drawing your attention as he rolled off of you but pulled your body to his, "You usually call me by my name when you're mad at me but... I like this so much better." Changkyun grinned, closing his eyes as you laughed. 

"I take that every time I get mad you're popping a boner then baby?" You quipped back, having him stare a little surprised at you for your adoption of the term of endearment.

"Well probably, I already did before- ouch" You hit his chest chuckling, then snuggling back with a sigh. Maybe not that of a bad idea. 

_________________________

masterlist

#im changkyun #I.M. #Monsta X #monsta x smut #monsta x i.m #monsta x imagine #monsta x fanfic #monsta x texts #monsta x changkyun #monsta x fluff

[tuneoftyourdeath]

So I wanted to show people this

I wrote this story some while ago and never really showed it to anyone, but I’m somewhat proud of it. I miss writing so much and I guess I still cling onto the old stuff I’ve written BUT ANYWAY I hope you (whoever is reading this) enjoy it!!

A Report of Time 

By mightytime.

      I’ve always been impressed with the abstraction with which people define me. The use me, make the most of me, throw me away, and some don’t even know what to do with me. I can go by faster or slower; therefore, they keep on trying to keep me organised. Pathetic. For some, I’m the most precious thing in the world; for others, I’m just a heartless bastard weighing on the shoulders. But not this fellow in particular, whose story I’m about to tell you. This one simply couldn’t make up his mind.    

      John was his name. Not very tall, not very rich, not very lucky, not very much of anything, really. He lived in London, God Save the Queen!; and despite looking like an ordinary man, worried about the weather, the traffic, the bath temperature; only two things took hold of his thoughts: Alice and me.    

      Each minute of each day he thought of us two, his thinking about her entwined with his thinking about me. It’s a funny thing, I’d say. It had been quite a while they hadn’t seen each other, John and Alice; they met at school years ago when I was still an ally and my permanence didn’t seem to interfere. Naivety, I’d say; allowing yourself into such substantial feeling, regardless of the damage that my prolonged stay might cause, is one of the sweetest innocences I’ve ever encountered.    

      She was, humbly saying, what you’d imagine an angel looks like: Beautiful, generous, caring, delicate and strong at the same time, clever and cautious, capable of making any lad fall head over heels, and specially John. He felt lucky. “How come me?” he thought; “Why me? Why the shy, unnoticed, so messed up me?” Maybe she was just as misunderstood as him, or maybe she regarded a sense of wholesomeness in him that fit perfectly into whatever was missing in her life. It doesn’t really matter, what only did matter was that they must have found something in each other that made my presence insignificant, till then, the war.    

      John had been sent to war, Vietnam. He had left Alice in tears but he had no choice. Two years in combat had been inflicted to him and it was the best offer he got, believe it or not. There was a goodbye party, friends, drinks, lots of speeches and hugs. And as before the altar and God himself, Alice and John promised themselves to each other for as long as they were apart. The makeshift wedding ring, a brooch that was gently threaded upon Alice’s coat, vouched for their hasty, yet true, vow.    

      Bombs, chaos, unceasing firing and fear. John had never seen anything like it; he’d never been capable of imagining how far the eyes could behold such horror. I’ve seen worse, in all my raging unstoppable existence, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t turn my guts or makes me sickly miserable; but to him it was immeasurably worse; to bare it all, the sweet tender John; and I must admit that my having been there didn’t help him very much.  

      John counted me, constantly thinking and avoiding thinking about me. He couldn’t decide whether to ignore me or if to just endure my lingering about would make it hurt less. Which somewhat made me upset, because it’s not nice at all to know you’re part of someone’s suffering.   

      In spite of always mailing letters to each other during their separation, as to help with coping, he had been yearning acutely to see her again since the day he left. In his words, he’d put it the same way: “Still alive, still for you”. And every night he used to sit on the edge of his bed, looking at the brooch, flipping it through his fingers, imagining her smile and the soft warm touch of her lips pressing onto his once again.    

      Given that I never, and could never, stop, he eventually came back home, thank The Lord. He had a rendezvous with Alice in a nice charming restaurant downtown London. He could just picture it: She would walk in through the double doors and ask the waiter for John, but no answer would be necessary, because before the waiter could even conclude his sentence, Alice’s eyes would meet John’s. She would then rush to his arms, and dive into his embrace; finding in it again the ease and reassurance of John’s clasp; and like in a movie, they would kiss as if it were the last time.    

      It was around midday and John was already there. He had bought her flowers. Daisies; her favourites. Even forgot to throw the receipt away, so it was still in his pocket, staining his pound notes. He was dressed up in a military uniform, sharp, and even had a dog tag tangling down his bruised neck. Was he trying to prove something to himself, to make up for the war frenzy, or was it just pride? Go figure... And again, he insisted upon thinking of me, awful things really; that I was stalling Alice’s arrival; that I had some sort of problem with him. Not fair, for neither John, nor me. They say I can drive people quite unhinged, and there are a few times I do believe that, the way they derange themselves around me.    

      By the table, John was a grenade with its pin pulled off. He would explode at any moment. Affliction took hold of his senses. At the table behind him, an old lady tried to convince her husband that The Bahamas were the best place to spend this holiday season. A bit ahead, a mother was hopelessly trying  to make her fretful baby stop crying. To his left, two parents were telling their daughter off for getting home late the night before.  

      There was a silent nervous breakdown. The shrieking sound coming from the coffee machine when filling another cup hit his ears the same way a bullet does when it grazes the scalp. Each piece of cutlery dropped onto the floor made him shiver; they reminded him of a projectile brushing the surface of his helmet. The yelled words between waiters and cooks were as unclear as those between soldiers and their commanders resonating midst the disarray of bloodshed.     

      He was back in the battle field, sifting through in his head, instructions he had received whilst in training, searching for an evasive manoeuvre: In case of running out of ammunition, check the bottle temperature before giving it to the baby. No, wait. If an air raid menaces, then we won’t have to buy any presents this year. What? What was it again? “AH!! LOOK FOR SHELTER!! “But dad I’m already fifteen!” “AH!! HELP US!!” 

      He couldn’t bring himself to hearing himself think with so much going on around. Praying for the mayhem to cease at once, he glared at his watch, that stupid little thing people use to... how is it again? Oh, right, measure me. He swore he could hear me laughing at him through it. And how heavy it was, it trapped and squeezed him like a handcuff, straining him away from his girl... 

      ...his girl.     

      Suddenly it all went mute; John could only but hear his heavy breathing when his gaze fell upon her visage. There she was, waiting across the street for the lights to go green, distracted, almost ditsy-like; and staring wistfully at a piece of paper in her hands. Alice looked beautiful, gorgeous, flaring; the breath-taking usual Alice. She’d had her hair cut, and a locket was perfectly visible around her neck. The sun reflected vividly on her golden locks, aiming straight at John’s astounded eyes, who had broken free from the trance he was deep plunged into and was now moving towards the door.    

      Stepping out onto the pavement, he tried to come up with what to say to Alice, but there were no words to express what he felt, what he had been feeling, how bad he missed her. His feet led him while he crossed the street.  “That’s odd”, he thought, “Why haven’t you seen me yet? I mean, I’m right in front of you, and the lights are already green! Why are you still looking at that silly piece of paper? What on earth is it!?” And then he saw. It was a picture he had given her before going away, so she could remember what he looked like, in case she’d come to forget it.    

        She looked over, her distracted feature was instantly undone into such a smile I swear, not even I could ever forget it. John stuffed his lungs with air: 

      - Alice! I…    

      He was swept off his feet as his legs were disassembled by a sudden bumper, tossing him away, making him soar in the air like a leaf adrift in autumn. Alice was speechless for a moment, and I must admit, so was I. People who were passing by turned at the scene. Some were shocked, some disgusted, some dismayed; but they all felt sorry for the dead man and the sobbing girl who lied hunched forward on what was left of him.  John’s soul, and then of course, his body, was withdrawn amongst the cars, that opted to just swerve the mournful scene, rather than to properly stop and demonstrate a shred of respect for our unfortunate lovers. All because they couldn’t wait; apparently, they were also worried about me...

...but that’s never done any good to anyone, has it? 

Well that’s about it, folks! :)

#story #originalstory #shortstory #chronical #1960s #lovestory #time #war #love #fiction #:) #lightreading #dreaming #distance #longing

[allthekpopgifs]

i was tagged by @hyunukhan​ ❤❤❤ thank you this was impossible lol so i basically just cheated

FIRST GROUP YOU LISTENED TO: the first one i remember is 2ne1 because the mv for It Hurts came up in the youtube suggestions when i was listening to jrock (i didn’t realize it was kpop when i listened to it though, i just thought it was cool)

FIRST GROUP YOU KNEW THE MEMBERS’ NAMES: super junior (all 15 of them!) because my little sister adores them and i was hoping we could bond over kpop lol

FIRST BIAS EVER: tablo was the first person who really drew me into korean music and i spent a lot of time looking into his past and being emotionally compromised because his story is heart crushingly sad (but has a happy ending, well not ending because he’s still alive, but you know what mean)

FIRST SONG TO MAKE YOU EMOTIONAL: expired by tablo (actually that whole album tbh)

TOP 3

top 3 fav male groups: • CNblue - the first group i searched for music videos online for (also the first group i saw live) • EXO and VIXX - the first groups i watched shows of (showtime and mtv diary respectively) • History - the first group i fell in love with that i kind of realized was underrated and made a post on tumblr begging people to love them

top 3 fav female groups: • Wonder Girls - Please Be My Baby was the first mv i saw that i actually knew was kpop • Spica - No More was the first girl group song i remember playing on repeat (along with Queen B’z Bad Girl) • The Ark - these girls really got my attention predebut with their powerful dance... lately Dreamcatcher and Gfriend have had my attention for the same reason (i’ve also got my eye on Apple.B, their debut was super cute but they’ve also done covers that show some power too)

top 3 fav solo artists: • Choi Sam - when she released trauma i felt my soul die and be reborn, if she collabed with Yongguk the depth of their voices together would physically transport me to another dimension or just outright kill me • Sunmi - after full moon i had to stop fooling myself and admit i like girls (i used to say that girl groups were good, they just weren’t my style haha silly me) • Lee Michelle - first of all, her vocals are out of this world, Without You is amazing, and also she raps

• Flowsik - (he used to be part of Aziatix where are eddie and nicky??) i love his voice and his style and i want to adopt him as my uncle (even though he’s too young to be my uncle) • Roy Kim - I Want To Love You 1:43 to 2:11 ......  not even half a minute long but i could listen to that part on repeat forever • Park Hyoshin - when VIXX’s Hongbin was fanboying over Park Hyoshin i though ‘must be some gorgeous actress’ and i was right about the gorgeous part at least. im so glad i took Hongbin’s recommendation... the first time i heard Wildflower i was totally blown away

top 3 fav songs of all time: three random songs im currently into • WhatDa - oh my god i am in love with this song right now. i love how Ato shines in this song, i love the drop at 1:30 (get it Bomb!), i love how it sounds dangerous... definitely going to be on repeat for a good long while • Secret Love Song - vocals and visuals from heaven • strange girl - let me see if i can explain this mv... so a super hero saves the twins from getting hit by a car, they pester her to teach them her secrets, (cue a hilarious twist on the classic gratuitous cleavage shot), amazingly synchronous dancing (i mean they’re TWINS), a couple guest rappers, a fun song, a great mv

top 3 male biases: times i cried because of boys: • lee seungtae... because he worked so hard, and because of the lawsuit and because he just wanted to sing, and because he took a bath on camera but not in a sexy way he was just there and it was so wholesome and i love him and i miss him and i truly hope he lives a life filled with contentment and doesn’t ever blame himself for what happened • when kris left exo, because it was the first time i experienced a member leaving a group, and i didn’t realize at the time that could even happen (innocent little me) • when Nu’est W announced they were coming back with aron, because I truly didn’t think he was going to stay, but he DID stay and i was so relieved

top 3 female biases: times i cried because of girls: • when i listened to yoon mirae’s black happiness and read about her struggle and saw all of the amazing things she’s been able to accomplish. she wins on every level, like she can rap and sing, she has a beautiful family and a prestigious career (she’s 100% as successful as her husband), she’s totally strong and badass and also soft and feminine • when amber released borders and i read her message and watched the video and listened to her voice and just... yeah... borders • that time yoohyeon said ‘i’m doing... a science’ and it was so cute that i laughed until tears were actually streaming down my face

top 3 fandoms you’re part of: • if anyone’s actually interested in my other fandoms (other than korean music and dramas)  i have a personal blog

top 3 choreographies: the last three that really caught my attention were: • rain • love whisper • these three

ULTIMATE

ultimate bias group: epik high was the first group i bought a physical album from (Remapping the Human Soul) tablo was the first one i knew, but tukutz and mithra have my heart too now ultimate male bias: the first time i heard leo speak i actually gasped (it took like 28 episodes of vixx mtv diary for him to say something okay lol) and my heart still does summersaults every time i see him smile because im so happy for him that he overcame his shyness to follow his dreams ultimate female bias: i am completely in love with actress and variety show host song jihyo. i adore her for not wearing makeup on tv and absolutely slaying, and also for wearing dramatic makeup and slaying once again, for being the only woman on running man for years and constantly holding her own, for her love of sleep and food and the members, and also that one photoshoot with the sword

wow this got really long and rambly, so if anyone’s gotten this far i’ll end with one very important message: PLEASE SUPPORT IMFACT THANKYOU

#tagged #personal #text #i just rambled forever lol #if anyone wants to do this pls pretend i tagged you