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syrupgirl · 1 year

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Request:

Could u write a fic ab Sully family x y /n reader? Where she lives with the sully family after her parents died, she gets taken by the colonel in the forest and is set up for bate because he knows she important to the Sully family.

a/n: the way I interpreted this, reader is taken by herself rather than what happens in the film where all of the kids get taken. I did use the rough layout of the scene for inspo but it does diverge from cannon ie Neteyam is with the kids when they get discovered. I hope that’s similar enough to what you mean. also reader is na’vi and around Neteyam’s age :p

Sullys stick together -The Sully family

“Catch me if you can!” Tuk yelled. Her little feet pattering along the branch of an enormous tree, while you and the rest of the Sully children chased her for sport.

She giggled delightedly, dodging out of the way of Lo’ak’s hand.

You really weren’t supposed to be out this far. Too close to the battlefield Jake had said. To close to where the sky people had already begun laying their claim on Pandora. Not if the Na’vi had anything to say about it.

But oh, it was such a beautiful day, almost no clouds in the sky, Kenten floated around you with the unfurled fan necks slowing their descent. Who wouldn’t want to get carried away with the day?

Suddenly, little Tuk ran into the trunk of a tree and startled back, falling on her butt. Kiri rushed forward and kneeled beside her, rubbing her back.

“Oh Tuk, are you ok? Are you hurt?” Kiri asked, ever the nurturer.

Tuk rubbed her nose and sniffed, tiny little tears blooming in her eyes. “Yeah, just got a fright, that’s all.”

Kiri helped the youngest sully stand up and continued to comfort her. Tuk reassured her sister that she was ok and Kiri relented. Tuk then wandered off to continue her little adventure.

“Wait, guys! Look!” Lo’ak whisper shouted.

Everyone looked to the direction he was pointing. Spider’s eyes widened and he even gasped a little.

“Wow, bro. That’s where my dad and your dad fought, right?” He asked Neteyam.

Neteyam didn’t answer right away, looking almost sheepish. “Yeah, bro.”

Lo’ak looked like he could barely keep still, a giddy grin upon his face.

“Well c’mon! Let’s have a look inside!” He was about to spring up when you put a firm hand on his shoulder.

“No way! We have no idea what’s in there, there could be some old tech still active, or…I don’t know, some angry beast!”

Despite not being a blood member of the Sulky family, after Jake and Neytiri took you under their wing and growing up with them for so long cemented your place among them as family. You were as much Neteyam’s sister as Tuktirey was.

Despite not being a blood member of the Sully family, they listened to you and cared about what you had to say, or that’s what you thought.

“That’s why we have our knives, skxawng.” And with that Lo’ak got you to sprint to the abandoned lab. Well, he would’ve had it not been for the tussling of the bushes opposite where you were all crouching.

“Sit down!” Neteyam gritted out, he grabbed his younger brother by the back of his neck and yanked him back down beside him. Lo’ak started to protest, talking about how it was probably some harmless animal. The sound of voices shut him down. Voices speaking in, english.

You were confused. Sky people should not have gotten this far out without drawing attention of the clan. Neteyam motioned for everyone to be still and you all watched on as the voices got closer.

Neteyam turned on his comms and started speaking to Jake. You could guess what he was saying; do not engage, retreat, stay low and out of sight. All very good suggestions in your opinion.

You kept your gaze intently to the direction of the voices, just waiting for them to pop out so you could get a good look at them and hopefully get some answers to your burning questions.

For better or for worse your questions were answered sooner than you thought.

Aside from the speaking english, the only thing that gave them away for being avatar and not Na’vi was the tactical gear. They were fully decked out. A few of them had arms decorated with tattoos and…sunglasses, Jake had called them.

They slowly approached the abandoned lab with guns raised and eyes everywhere. You all ducked down further once you realised you were way out of your league. Unarmed humans you might be able to handle. Armed humans, definitely more difficult but you had done it before, but avatar who were armed to the teeth along with the strength and speed of the na’vi made for a dangerous mix. You all watched as they searched through the building, overturning the insides of it.

“Come on, dad is on his way, he told us to fall back.” Neteyam’s urged all of you, gesturing into the forest behind him.

“What? No! This is our- my chance to prove to dad that I can help! I can be an asset to the people!”

Neteyam and Lo’ak continued to bicker when you noticed Kiri looking around, looking around desperately.

“Kiri?” you asked, “what’s wrong?”

The girl looked almost brought to tears when she looked up to you.

Her voice trembled, “Where is Tuk?”

Oh god.

She had disappeared before Lo’ak had picked up on the lab.

No one had seen her since.

Kiri clasped her hands around her mouth, she looked about as scared as you felt. God, little Tuktirey.

Abruptly, the group of avatars in front of you trained their guns on clump of trees of to your right. You had heard the sound too, a snap of a small branch or twig. Whatever had stepped on it was light.

Light enough to be Tuk.

The hostiles started to walk toward the noise. It’s like you were watching them in slow motion. Off to the side you could see Kiri’s eyes widen, horror flashed across her face. Spider had a similar expression, his eyebrows upturned in the centre. Lo’ak and Neteyam had stopped their fighting and just looked scared out of their own minds. Neteyam for once didn’t have a solution for everything.

So you did the only thing you could think of. A stupid, stupid thing looking back on it, a stupid thing parading itself as bravery. You scrunched your face, said a silent prayer to Eywa to deliver Tuk to safety and to give you strength for whatever was to happen.

You lept out from behind the log and dashed out of cover.

The avatars snapped their attention to you and raised their guns, but you kept charging towards them. Unsheathing the small knife you kept on you at all times, you cried out.

An avatar with short cropped hair on the top of his hair held out his hand and caught you around the neck. He didn’t hold you tight enough to strangle you, but tight enough that you couldn’t escape. He lifted you up into the air like you were fresh prey.

You struggled and snarled, trying to get your knife in any part of him that you could reach.

“Well, well, well, lookie here…” Quaritch chuckled darkly. He motioned for his squad to lowers their guns and the obeyed, observing their colonel with obvious amusement. It made you sick, you probably outwardly grimaced.

“I’ve seen you somewhere before.” He muttered. Quaritch made a show of ‘hmmm’ing and scratching his chin in fake thought. “Ah yes, i’ve seen your runnin’ around with the Sully spawn. You’ve been causin’ a lot of trouble, you and those other brats.”

You pretended not to understand him, opting to keep snapping and thrashing at him. It was not a complete lie; while Jake had taught you some basic english, you could probably only form the sentences of a small human child.

“The thing looks feral…” A teammate muttered from behind the colonel and the squad laughed.

“Don’t be fooled, soldier. These Na’vi can be quite clever when they put their heads together.” The colonel responded.

Thinking of your family behind you, you hoped and prayed that they had retreated back with Tuktirey.

Quaritch lowered you to the ground but before you tried to make a break for it, he wove his fingers through your hair and pulled hard.

You bit your teeth to stifle a scream and reached up to attempt to pry his hand off of your head.

“I know that there’s more of you back there, in the tree line, so you behave and my team will leave them be.” Fear flooded you at that, hearing that this man knew you weren’t alone. With a snap of his fingers he could have you all held hostages. So you stilled. You rested your hands back at your sides and begrudgingly set your gaze on him.

The avatar holding you smiled.

“Children o’ Sully! You listen here,” he spoke in english before switching into what seemed to be pretty broken na’vi, “you tell your father to come here, and this girl will be returned unharmed in exchange for his compliance.”

At least he didn’t know Neteyam had already been in contact with both Jake and Neytiri. If they just pretended to leave, Jake and Neytiri would think of a plan. Like they always do.

The bushes where everyone was hiding rustled. Quaritch tensed and the avatars behind you raised their guns once more, but the bushes stilled, no other came from it.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You hoped that they had gone back home or at least taken Tuk back.

“Alright everyone, I’m guessing we can expect Jake Sully and his mate getting here pretty soon.” He drawled, turning to face his team. “Get ready for an attack. Be on your guard and keep your new eyes and ears sharp.”

Jake and Neytiri quietly dismounted their Ikran and armed themselves. Neytiri looked as if she was shaking with rage, her mouth downturned and her eyes looking for a threat.

“Hey, I’m sure they’re all fine. They’re tough kids, they’re our kids which make them tougher.” Jake attempted a joke but it died out in the silence when Neytiri did not respond.

They hadn’t landed far from where Neteyam told them they were and they were almost silent as they crept forward into the thicket.

A flutter of motion from they’re left has Neytiri’s bow drawn and aimed at the spot.

“Mom! It’s just us! It’s me, Lo’ak!” Lo’ak revealed himself from his hiding spot, arms raised and Neytiri breathed a watery sigh.

She rushed forward, took her baby in her arms, and held him tightly. Lo’ak wrapped his arms around her neck and squeezed. From behind him, Neteyam and spider emerged too, looking a little more embarrassed. Jake looked at his eldest and frowned.

“Where are your sisters?” He asked. Neytiri finally set Lo’ak down and gasped a little, noticing the absence of three of the Sully children.

“Kiri took Tuktirey back home and..” Neteyam looked ashamed, “yn was taken.”

His mother squeezed her eyes closed. Even if you weren’t born of her, you were her daughter. The idea of you being taken, as bait no less, had her heart in her stomach and her chest alight with anger.

Jake sighed and his face turned stony. “You all stay here, stay hidden, while we clean up your mess.” He whispered. The boys wilted and sunk back.

Your legs were starting to ache with how long you had been standing and your scalp with how hard the grip he had on your hair.

The man who had been holding you earlier passed you off to another one of his teammates, who seemed to take liberties in yanking your hair every once and a while.

The once clear sky had filled with clouds and rain trickled down through the canopy above you. No one had spoken in a long time, like everyone was holding their breath.

Suddenly, your ear twitched and you flicked your eyes to where you had heard…something. It could just be the sounds of the forest, an animal eating a plant or a ripe piece of fruit hitting the earth, but this sound sounded out of place, made my something not of the forest.

You caught a glimpse of something blue ducking behind the trunk of a wide tree. They had been holding what looked like a bow. Neytiri!

You shut your eyes and thanked Eywa for delivering you a mother as magnificent and brave as her.

Everything was still for a while and you wondered why Neytiri hadn’t taken a shot. Had she left? In an attempt to look like you were getting drowsy, you slumped a back into the avatar holding you. Your head hit his chin as you did so. He shoved you forward again, tugging your hair as he did so.

That’s why she hadn’t taken a shot, there was too much of a risk of hitting you. You looked up to where you had seen her before and caught her eyes. She had been staring at you intently the whole time, waiting for an opening.

So you gave her one.

You hoped she understood what you tried to say in a single look.

Saying another silent prayer to Eywa, you grabbed the arm that wasn’t gripping your hair, brought it up to your mouth, and bit down as hard as you could.

The man screamed, “You little bitch!”

Thankfully, on instinct he let go of your head and you had just enough time to duck out of the way before an arrow hit him straight between the eyes.

Twigs and leaves crunched beneath your feet and you made a break into the forest. You didn’t dare look back behind you. Gunshots rang through the air, some even whizzed past you.

Just as you jumped over the fallen trunk of a tree, an arm caught you from the side. You fought against it, landing a blow against whoever’s face had snatched you.

They groaned and let you go.

“Be calm! It’s just me!” Spider said as he held his now bloody nose.

You gasped and reached out to touch his face. “Oh Spider, I’m so sorry. You scared me!”

He shook his head a little before standing up, offering you a hand. “It’s fine, let’s go. Lo’ak and Neteyam already left.”

You took his hand and the two of you ran through the forest together. Never daring to look back.

When Jake and Neytiri returned, you knew you were all in for it.

You and your siblings listened outside of their tent, listening to them argue. You held Tuk to you, you didn’t want her to hear what they were saying but she insisted, so all you could do was let her know she wasn’t alone.

Jake stormed out of the tent and you all pretended to be looking at anything else. Smooth.

“yn, get over here.” He ordered. Lo’ak patted you on the back and walked away with the others.

“That stunt you pulled!? That’s not on, okay? It was stupi-!”

You interrupted him, “What I did was stupid, but I don’t regret it. If I hadn’t, Tuk would have been in my position and I couldn’t stand by and watch that happen, sir.” Jake was silent at that. The same stern look painted across his face and his eye twitched.

You stood your ground.

He stood his. For a while.

Until he broke.

The hard look he had softened and he just looked like a tired dad. You realised how stressed he must be, knowing that an old enemy was back and would go through his family to get him. He though he had lost Neteyam earlier this week, and now his daughter? You could have sympathy for him.

You approached him and wrapped your arms around his broad chest. “I’m sorry, dad. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

It felt as if his chest buckled at that and he returned your hug.

“Don’t ever scare me like that again. Alright, soldier?”

You smiled up at him and gave him a. mock salute.

“Yes, sir.”

#i can’t tell if i over wrote #sully family #avatar x reader #sullys x reader #jake sully x reader #neytiri x reader #neteyam x reader #lo’ak x reader #kiri x reader #spider x reader #avatar 2 #avatar way of water #avatar fanfiction #avatar imagine #sully family imagine

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sebastianshaw · 2 years

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OH I was thinking about how I really haven’t given Claudine (Miss Sinister) much characterization in my Alt-Marauders world and one of my goals was to do that Like ok she’s into science but...what else? tagging @sammysdewysensitiveeyes in case you wanna use any of this for your Alt Marauders fics, I pretty much consider it our shared universe now. I may have created it and laid the groundwork but you contribute SO MUCH! Well, people who pursue careers in science are typically knowledge-seekers, truth-seekers, question-askers. They’re the kids who ask ‘why?’ and are never satisfied with ‘just because’. They’re the people who if they don’t know something, will look it up ASAP and won’t rest til they get an answer, and an answer that they UNDERSTAND at that. Claudine is probably that kid who asked why the sky is blue, didn’t get a satisfactory answer from her teacher and parents, and then went to the Internet, and got an answer, and then fell down a whole rabbithole of reading atomospheric terminology so she “got” it completely. Highly relatable, tbh. Extending that beyond research, she’s a digger. She’s curious. She’s nosey. She’s always poking around. She loves learning, but boy does she lack boundaries. She’s also perceptive as hell, and this lets her be very manipulative---we see this in her first story with Daken/Akhiro and then with Gambit and Laura. She can craft a good tale to hit all the right notes a person needs. In her own way, she’s the mirror to Haven in this story, in that she’s got the perceptive type of empathy that lets her pick things up about a person, but not that part where she’s held back from using it against them. Of course, since she’s not an antagonist in this fic, I can see her as trying to use it to HELP others too, which can range from harmless stuff like setting up a date but also stuff that makes you go “hey, whoa, idc that you were trying to help, not cool” which really relates to Manon and Maxime’s struggles, so I think that’s something they could work on together. It’s also a source of conflict with Madelyne, whose past with being steered by others has hurt her so much that she reacts the worst of the lot to this behavior. I think Claudine’s very much a Scorpio, at least my version/interpretation. They’re supposed to be big on being psychologists, physicians, engineers, financial advisors/analysts, chemists, surgeons, auditors. . .people who have extremely analytical perspectives and a need to work things out in some way, whether it’s people or bodies or machines. Some get into occult stuff for the same reasons---remember, “occult” the etymology for occult “hidden, covered over, secret” and that attracts some people for the same reason science attracts other. Scorpios, as water signs, are also supposed to be extremely intuitive, which goes well with my observation about how she must be very perceptive about others in order to manipulate them. They’re also supposed to be plotters who have things planned out ten steps ahead, which, yeah, also. She’s probably the best strategist on the squad alongside Shaw. She might in fact be better than him in some ways, because she can predict and understand people better, which Shaw often fails at. Her analytical perspective lets her point out holes pretty quickly too, but I like to think sometimes she lets the more foolish or headstrong members of the squad go ahead anyway, because she wants to see what will happen. Scorpios are also absolutely the goth sign, their colors are black and red. So, yeah, honestly gonna be drawing a LOT of Scorpio inspo for her. EDIT: also analytical nature means she’s totally down to talk literary themes with Pyro, she ABSOLUTELY asks WHY the curtains are blue

#out of shirt #im to pissy about the login troubles to work on posts so

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ava-achlys · 3 years

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The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Lee Juyeon - Breaking Dawn

Frenemies! Juyeon x fem! reader

Warnings: hate-fucking, degradation, pegging, sex toys, enemies(?) with benefits, sub!Juyeon, mild dubious consent

"Breaking Dawn, more like breaking your back" -Eric Sohn, 2021. Thanks for the inspo, Eric 🤣 I hope you guys like this one, bottom Juyeon has been on my mind for a while 💕

You and Juyeon have been rivals for as long as you can remember, but he somehow always tops you, both in academics and in the bedroom. One day, your offhand comment about you being a better top than him turns into a challenge, and Juyeon and his ego won't back down.

"Fuck you," Juyeon spits harshly, panting into the bed sheets. You smirk at him, thrusting your fingers deeper in his hole, causing him to moan lowly. "No baby, did you forget I'm the one fucking you?" Your tone is saccharine sweet, yet so sinister. Juyeon shivers, unable to hide how much he wants you, despite the venomous words and dark looks he gives you.

You pull your lube-coated fingers out of his ass and he whines, clenching around air, the cold wetness of the residual lube on the edge of his hole arousing him. You laugh and spank his ass, basking in the fact that only you get to see this side of Juyeon. He thrusts his hips back, clearly wanting more, and you debated giving it to him. Spanking him made you feel in control, but if he wanted it, then there was no point. Instead, you huffed and busied yourself with fastening the strapon to your hips, ignoring the squirming boy in front of you.

Getting annoyed, you slap his thigh instead, drawing a high pitched moan from him. "Would you stay still for once?!" You hiss and he turns to glare at you, his large hand inching towards his aching cock. "If you could just hurry up and fuck me, I wouldn't be such a brat." You scoff and roll your eyes. He had always been a brat behind closed doors, and only to you. He was always teasing and edging you, holding your orgasm out until you broke down your pride and begged him for release, which obviously fed his massive ego. Now that the tables have turned, you realise he's going to be just as difficult. The little shit would never back down from a challenge, which led the both of you into this position in the first place.

You smack his hand away from his cock and open up a condom. He looks questioningly at the foil in your hands and you can't resist the urge to piss him off, so you grab him by the chin, and his pretty eyes look up at you with nervous excitement. "Do you not want me to wear a condom? Want me to fuck you raw instead? Bet if this was a real dick you'd want me to cum inside you, fill you up and breed you like the little whore you are, don't you?" You sneer at him, and his breath hitches. You grip his jaw harder so he opens up wider, and you spit into his mouth. Juyeon's eyes roll back into his head at the taste of you, and his whole body shivers at your humiliating words.

He swallows with difficulty and tries to avoid your eyes. He never begs. He always makes you beg for his cock, that's how it's supposed to go. But he needs you now. And you know he does. "P-please," he whispers so faintly that you almost didn't catch it. You pull his jaw to make him look you in the eyes and ask him to repeat himself. "Please... fuck me," he pleads with those pretty, glittering eyes of his. You shrug and decide to oblige, since he asked so nicely for once. You shove him onto his back, spreading his long legs open and slipping the condom onto your strap-on. He's trembling as he watches you, his position making him feel so exposed and vulnerable, his leaking cock standing tall. You kneel between his legs and hitch them up onto your shoulders. You loom over him, and 6 ft tall Juyeon has never felt smaller in his life.

You ease the tip of the dildo into his hole, and he whimpers at the intrusion. You glance up at him, and he gives the subtlest nod, and you continue pressing your length into him. He grips the bedsheets in discomfort, but he soon feels the pleasurable stretch of his walls creeping up on him. You can't deny you're a tad worried, but you refuse to show your concern, so you keep an impassive mask and continue until you've fully bottomed out. You lean over him, your hand on either side of his head, and his eyes are shut tightly, getting used to the dildo inside him for the first time. He looks so pretty like this, you think. Feline eyes, sharp nose, high cheekbones, glossy red lips. You can see why everyone is head over heels for him, but your contempt for his behaviour is what drives you away from him. He's quite cute when he's not pissing you off in private or taking credit for your contributions to the club, and especially not when he's whispering filthy words in your ears in bed. But he knows exactly how to keep you coming back to him; with his hands, his mouth, and his massive dick.

"Move," he whispers hoarsely, his eyes still shut. You tap his cheeks so he looks at you, and you slowly start moving your hips, pulling out a little and pushing back into him gently. "Mmmhh, ahhh, fuck," his little noises are muffled by the arm he's thrown over his mouth, and you pull it away, wanting to hear more. You thrust into him harder and deeper this time, and he's holding the bedsheets in a death grip with the effort of concealing his moans, knuckles turning white. "Come on Juyeon, let me hear your pretty voice. Tell me how good I'm fucking you," you mock him in a singsong voice. "Shut up," he barks, still trying to remain composed. You roll your eyes and pull out almost all the way, leaving your tip inside him, and slam into him fully, and a strangled moan rips from his throat. 1 point for you, you think.

You continue to fuck him at a brutal pace, his hard cock oozing precum and bobbing from the force of your hips snapping into his. His whines turn into broken groans and eventually loud shameless moans and curses. He doesn't dare to look at you anymore, opting to face the ceiling as you pound into him, his large body sliding up the bed with your every thrust. You changed angles, unsatisfied with his reactions and hit that bundle of nerves inside him, and he cums unexpectedly, spurting ropes of creamy cum all over himself. He actually lets out a sob at the feeling of relief that his orgasm brings, but you had no plans on stopping. You pull out and Juyeon winces, only for you to flip him over, your adrenaline lending you some strength to move the much taller and heavier boy. Cumming untouched, that's 2 points for you now.

He yelps as you force him onto his hands and knees, protesting as his legs feel like jelly, but you weren't going to win so easily. You wanted him to admit that he lost. You slip your dildo back into him and fuck him again, his cum sliding off his sweaty body and dribbling pathetically from his still-hard cock onto the bedsheets. He gasps for air and pleads for you to stop, and yet he moves his hips back to meet yours every time. You spank his ass and he mewls, a tiny, pathetic sound from a large, cocky man, and you know he's going to break soon. "I can't.. I can't take much more, I think I'm gonna cum again," he whines into the pillows. "Go on, then. Cum for me. Say my name, Juyeon, tell me how I good I make you feel," you demanded as you reach down to grasp his cock.

He gasps at the oversensitivity, and the cold tone of your voice. You were barely keeping it together at this point, your pussy dripping with slick at how beautifully wrecked Juyeon looked beneath you, and his breathless chants of your name as he climaxes for the second time that night, his cock feebly spurting whatever cum was left in his balls onto your hand. He collapses onto the sheets, no longer having the strength to prop himself up. He tiredly rolls over onto his back and looks up at you, eyes glazed over. You lean over him again, your faces just a few inches apart. "Was I that good, Juyeonie?" You smirked at him. He blushes and tries to turn his face away but you hold him in place, and stick your cum-splattered fingers in his mouth, making him groan at the taste of himself. "Say it, Juyeon."

His glassy eyes shyly look up at you and he mumbles as best as he can around your fingers, "Mmfh, ffank you for f-fucking me so good." You beam at him, and pull your fingers out of his mouth. You get up off the bed, disposing of the condom and taking off your strap-on. You head into the bathroom to get a damp towel to clean him up with, trying to ignore the dull ache between your thighs as you walked. You come back and he's avoiding eye contact, wincing slightly as you wordlessly wiped him down, despite the warmth of the towel. Once you were done, you took a quick shower, deciding you'd just get off by yourself later and got dressed, Juyeon eyeing you tiredly from the bed. You're about to leave when Juyeon suddenly sits up, grimacing at the pain in his lower back. "Wait! Did you cum at all? You were so quiet but you were eating me up with your eyes the whole time," he belatedly realises.

You turn back to face him. "Does it matter?" you deadpan. "The point of this was to prove that I'm a better top than you. Some bottom you are too, couldn't even make me cum. Maybe this will take that over-inflated ego of yours down a notch, hmm?" you sneer, ignoring the crestfallen look on Juyeon's face as you walk out and slam the door shut. You let out a heavy sigh as you leave his apartment, looking out at the sky, the first rays of the morning sun breaking through the clouds. You're immersed in your thoughts as you make your way back to your place, an uncomfortable feeling in your gut to accompany the discomfort in your loins. You've never left his apartment before daybreak, the two of you always waking up on different sides of the bed and you quietly leaving with just enough time to shower and change at home before going for your classes. Even if you saw Juyeon around on campus or debate club meetings, it was all polite smiles and casual conversations, but the animosity really showed in bed. He was good in bed, you just hated how cocky he gets. Now that you flipped the switch, you think maybe you've gone too far.

3 points, you've finally won, but has victory always tasted this bittersweet?

A/N: This might have been a shit ending, but like, I dunno anymore. Sorry bout that 😅

#achlys: tbz imagines #the boyz #the boyz smut #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #juyeon #juyeon smut #the boyz juyeon #sub!juyeon

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pineconeinatree · 3 years

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witchy tips for witches with depression <3

I've been struggling with depression for some time now and I've been having a lot of issues practicing my craft since the lack of energy and motivation, so I decided to compile a list of simple routine things you can try to add to your daily life to get you back on the craft and maybe make you feel better :]

theres no instant cure to depression but there are ways to make it a little less bad, and little by little get you back on your feet !! these may not work for everyone as I am writing down things that work for me and just simple ways I use to incorporate the craft into my daily life. please please please also seek prefessional help if you're able to !! talk to friends and family, you're loved and cared for !! google depression self help tips for more tips, I know most of them may sound dumb or trivial or useless but it is so worth a shot adhering to them for some time, maybe you will notice an increase in your mood :D

1. veiling

when I go out, I wear a scarf on my head to protect my energy or keep me in a good mood, depending on the days activity. you can wear a scarf around the house or go out with it and putting one on also works for a bad hair day (read: haven't washed hair in a week) ;D

just cleanse the scarf by maybe shaking the unwanted energies out of it or with incense or with whatever you see the best and bless the scarf with your intentions for the day :D

2. cleansing

if you have a hard time taking care of your hygiene ( it's okay I promise, it can be very exhausting :/ ), try getting some baby wipes on your bedside table and when you wake up / before you go to bed, wipe your face, armpits, feet etc. with the wipe and with the intention of cleansing. it's quick and very easy and I promise that it's worth it, you'll feel a lot more fresh afterwards. you can do the same with washing in general ! if you take a shower imagine the bad thoughts and depressive energy go down the drain in a black/gray/brown stream of dark water !! you'll feel a lot more fresh and maybe a bit clear-headed even :)

3. tea magick

while getting your cup of tea / coffee, stir your days intentions into the drink or do this:

stir clockwise thrice to bring positivity, stir counterclockwise to let out negative energy in your next three sighs and then seal the spell to let the sadness repel.

I recommend black tea or white tea or chamomile tea and add some honey / sugar to sweeten the deal !!

4. shadow work

I know that one of the last things you might want to do is dwelve deep into your feelings but it really will be useful in the long run. if you feel yourself getting upset or your mood suddenly dropping, try getting to the bottom of it; what triggered the emotional reaction? take a deep breath, relax into your feelings as they are in that moment and be honest with yourself. observe them without judgment and try to find out where they came from and how to solve the conflict.

here's some prompts and questions you can try asking yourself:

how did you feel ( more accurately than just upset; were you angry, jealous, sad, lonely etc.) ?

is there something you can do right now to solve it ?

how could you handle this situation in a healthy way? eg. try to come up with healthy coping mechanisms.

how can you maybe prevent this in the future?

try the court trial thought challenging technique. if these thoughts or this situation was a court case, which side would win? imagine yourself as the defense attorney. you need to gather 100% foolproof evidence you have siding with the negative thought and then defend it against the undermining counterpart. it's kind of a pros and cons type of list but you adopt the viewpoint of an outside viewer to get a clearer and more realistic view of the situation. this thought process can help you realize that some negative thoughts aren't truthful and help you let them go. you can Google "the court trial cbt" for more on this technique :D !!

5. studying the craft

we're all individuals and we react differently to bad states of mind but what I do often is distract myself by being on my phone and I know ( I hope so, at least ) I'm not alone in this. as a witch, you're always developing and learning new things, was it about learning different kinds of ways to practice your craft or getting to know other practices or maybe reading a guide how to grow your own herbs ! point is, if you're gonna distract yourself, you could try reading ebooks or articles or even tumblr posts about things that interest you !

maybe try making a list of subjects, topics and practices that interest you and set a goal for yourself to read at least about 3 subjects on the list per day !!

6. making pinterest boards / planning

this isnt directly magick but I think it does count as practicing your craft. make mood boards for the next full moon, come up with spells, make pinterest boards about cool things that interest you or maybe start planning for the next sabbath ! just have fun with it, maybe colour coordinate your pin boards or arrange them by season !

7. go out for walks

it is so so so important to try to adhere to some routines. a big part of managing depression is taking care that you get enough sleep, eat enough and do fulfilling, nice and healthy things. go outside and try to look for rocks or crystals from the nature ? or try foraging ! or maybe go for a walk during sunset/sunrise and admire the beautiful sky and clouds ! ANY reason to peep your nose out of the house is a good reason. maybe go meditate to the nearest park ? or try yoga !!

8. interests and passions and things you loved to do

I know that it might be hard to find joy in the things that you used to like doing but you should try to do at least one thing that you used to love doing for 10 minutes every day ! incorporate a little witchcraft into it too if you want to !

draw or paint a sigil and maybe colour it

sing your favourite song with intent that matches the lyrics

try freestyling with any instrument you play and let your intuition guide you with the chords and notes that come out ! you can try also making small melodies that correspond to different intents and use them for cleasing or happiness or protection !!

bake or cook something you've always wanted to try ! look up the ingredients' correspondences and cook with desired intents !

please know that you're not alone !! my dms are always open if you want tips or just someone to talk to, too :) you don't need to do all of these but maybe try taking some inspo and adjust it to your life and surroundings and daily life and come up with ways of your own, it's your craft after all !!

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notnctu · 4 years

Text

now playing: can’t help falling in love - elvis presley

lee jeno x fem!reader genre - fluff details - established relationship word count - 1,582 synopsis - where you and jeno attend your best friends’ wedding.

a/n - this is for @kpopscape‘s jukebox friday <3 inspo from the wedding scene in the movie crazy rich asians! also i hope this isn’t confusing LOL the first part is a back and forth between jeno/(y/n) pov, like it switches between the conversations but ultimately they’re in separate rooms -author doie ❀

Lee Jeno stands in a pampered black and white suit, with a classic black tie situated up to his neck. Hair is slicked with a thick gel that he can’t wait to wash out, but gives his forehead a special feature for this very special day. He’s nervous, not entirely sure why, he’s not the one getting married.

The outdoor wedding scene has always been one of your favorites. A rooftop that looks over the vast ocean, the thin horizon that separates water from sky. The decorative floral altar frames the center perfectly. You’re incredibly jittery, not entirely sure why, you’re not the one getting married.

Your best friends panic respectively in their own rooms. It’s mad chaos when you re-enter the cramped room. The mom of the groom is leaving no space for breaths, beating down the neck of your best friend. As your duty of maid of honor, you’re rushing to her rescue.

“I think it’s time to start heading to your seats now.” You usher every relative that isn’t suppose to be in the area. Excited chatter erupt from each of them, overly joyous that the occasion is about to start.

Now, you have a best friend to reassure as she sits in her glorious chiffon gown and a heavy frown on her painted lips. “What can I do to help the bride?” An unfamiliar peppiness embodies you, hoping to lighten her mood.

Smoothing your own dress under you, you sit down in front of her and hold her hands in your own. Her glittery eye makeup catches the light from the marveling late afternoon sun and the strands of her hair are pinned by pearl clips out of the frame of her delicate face.

“Is this what cold feet feels like?” She asks carefully. And when she looks up, her glossy eyes are much of a shock as the question itself.

In the groom’s room, every person is scrambling for their dress shoes. Jeno sits in the corner of the room, quietly observing the frantic lack of responsibility on display while also fulfilling his role as best man by consoling the sullen groom on his big day.

“What does it feel like?” Jeno genuinely inquires and he waits for the answer from his best friend.

Jeno notices his slumped forward shoulders, as if all the confidence in his best friend is drained out. Nonetheless, this is the best he’s ever seen him clean up. A smooth shave, without a cut in sight and accessories that actually complement his suit. Throughout all the craziness, this is a show stopping man before him. Who knew suits can make such a difference?

“Cold feet... it feels confusing.” His best friend fiddles his thumbs as if guilt preoccupied his conscience for feeling this way on his wedding day. “I love her, but what is that suppose to feel like? Do you know what love feels like, Jeno?”

Jeno blinks and without a doubt answers, “I do.” and his automatic thought is you. He will never stop falling in love with you.

Your best friend peers out the window and the empty room provides a serene silence on this beautiful day. The serious question now fills the air instead.

You gulp, the pure image of Jeno’s smile enters your mind. Love is Jeno, he holds your hand as if he’s always afraid that you’d let go. “I do.” And a gentle smile finally rests on your best friend’s face. You simply can’t help falling in love with Jeno and she knows.

“It’s like how a river flows into the sea.” Jeno stuffs his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. The analogy sounded better in his head, but he can see the gears turn.

“It’s just meant to be.” You add to your best friend’s heavy sigh.

“It’s time.” A knock startles the men in the room and Jeno stands up. He instructs his best friend to take a few deep breaths before heading out. Jeno lightly dusts his shoulders and bids his good friend a warm smile.

“It’s just meant to be.” Jeno whispers and gives him a firm pat, and his friend nods. A smile grows tenfold at Jeno’s last words.

Jeno has always been the person of the friend group who gives love advice before he’s ever felt it. It wasn’t for four years ago when he met you did he actually understand what he told others.

Love is more than emotional. It’s taking your hand in a large crowd so you’re not lost. It’s early evening dinners spent together. It’s active listening to the other person’s troubles. It’s simple, yet too complex to explain. Some things are meant to be.

Finally, you two rejoin with one another and form the orderly line that every pairing walks down the aisle in. Jeno takes your hand, as you offer your world to him. The charming toothy smile that he’ll never grow tired of seeing, your hands intertwine. You both seem anxious, not entirely sure why, you two aren’t the ones getting married.

But you two face the closed doors that are about to open. The soft gentle song begins to play, announcing the start of their beautiful journey.

Jeno gives your hand a small squeeze, “everything okay?” His whisper is almost inaudible.

“Not something I couldn’t fix. You?” You mumble back, the doors open and the groom starts his walk down the aisle.

“I do learn from the best.” From side eye peeks, you see the sly grin on your boyfriend’s charming face. “So yeah, not something I couldn’t fix.”

You both walk down the aisle in unison. The white rolled out sheet that has pink flower petals scattered across disappear under your feet with each step. Mutual friends sit in the crowd and their distant relatives all wear expressions of awe.

The music is drowned out when you two reach the altar, separating to join the different sides of the couple. Something inside you tells you not to look at Jeno standing on the other side, not yet.

Facing forward, each groomsmen and bridesmaid pairing flood in one by one. The final repetition of the song and your best friend is ready for her entrance. Her sheer veil drapes over her face, a large bouquet of pink roses in her hands, each step brings her closer to her future husband.

You’re immersed, completely close to tears just at the moving image of your best friend finding a love so true. Years after years, she’s been wandering the Earth set searching for a perfect partner. You felt a bit foolish to have found Jeno before she had found someone, wondering if you rushed too soon into a relationship.

Jeno has always felt unreal to you. There’s something new and old to love about him every day. You love that he just always knows what to say, remembering a moment in time when you asked, “shall I stay?” and for him to reply, “would it be a sin if you did?” for you, of course not.

You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t cry and everything was smooth sailing, until the vows and you consequently make eye contact with Jeno across the altar.

It’s as if time stopped, you two are in your own world. Jeno’s eyebrows rise up subtly in shock, like a whole waterfall of epiphanies washed over him. He sees you blinking back at him, as beautiful as ever in a formal gown and a small bouquet in your hands.

Jeno hears the vows, “for I can’t help falling in love... with...” and your mouths move in synchronization as you two mouth the last word silently to yourselves, “you.”

Your heart is ready to burst out of your chest and a tear happens to slip down your face. Not only are you incredibly happy for the newly weds, you’re soaring through the sky that Jeno loves you as much as you love him.

Jeno smiles sweetly at the droplet that draws down your cheek and your poor attempt to wipe it away. But he’s staring at you as if you’re all he’s ever wanted in love. Is this what his friend feels as they exchange rings? The realization that this is the only person you’re ever going to love.

He’s made up his mind. He’s going to marry you one day, like it’s set in stone. “I do.” Your friends’ futures are sealed and celebratory cheers break you two out of the trance.

“Congratulations.” You hug your best friend as tightly as you can before she walks down the aisle together with her new husband. Jeno steps forward, interlocking your fingers proudly and placing a small kiss on the back of your hand.

“I can’t wait to experience that all over again.” There’s a happiness in his step and the way his smile beams. “Only, it will be us exchanging vows at the altar.”

Perhaps Jeno is intoxicated from the joyous atmosphere of the wedding, but you don’t mind. You love him all the more to want to share something as special as today, “you aren’t ready for what I would say to you.”

Jeno chuckles, pinching your cheek lovingly. “In that case, you better make me cry, you big soft baby.”

You pretend that you’re offended, pouting a little before bursting into giggles with your boyfriend. There’s a million things you’d want to say to Jeno, but the one thing you’ll never forget to mention would be, “I love you, Lee Jeno.”

#kpopscape #nct-writers #neothestars #nct scenarios #jeno scenarios #nct fluff #nct imagines #lee jeno #nct #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #jeno #lee jeno scenarios

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hjh-ceilo-monster · 3 years

Text

Dear letter... To you... (KTH)

Summary : There was no connection between these two strangers accept a letter in one’s hand.

Story inspo : a story from a wedding

Author POV.

*click*

The camera captured the scene of an empty alley. It was just another ordinary day for everyone to wake up and start their routines. In this little town, almost everyone knew each other-despite a few unfamiliar faces who might appear around the street.

Kim Taehyung was one of them, a wanderlust soul. He found this little town not long ago on a travel site. Visiting this beautiful and classic area for a week, he could tell that he fell in love, even if; there was nothing much to attract a large group of tourists.

*click*

Taehyung snapped another shot. This place was nothing but calming for him. He took a turn at a random corner and met with a local restaurant. Taehyung opened the wooden door. The bell shimmed as a signal of a new customer.

“Good day sir, what would you like to order?” Taehyung looked above the waiter for a menu.

“Any tradition dishes?” Taehyung asked. Every dish seemed to look the same since there were no note up on the board.

After having description from the waiter, he decided his dish. A waitress, who finished preparing a table, gestured Taehyung to take a seat.

“What would you like for today?”

The door opened and closed from time to time. Taehyung was still in the restaurant and enjoyed his meal. He looked through a photo album. He was so busy with his camera without noticing that someone approached him.

“Sir, can this lady have a seat here? The restaurant has no seats available at the moment.” The waitress interrupted him. Taehyung didn’t look up, but nodded as an answer.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Taehyung POV.

I felt like I was acting rude. However, I didn’t know how to start a conversation with the stranger either. I sat in silence and continued to play with my camera-taking the picture of the lake outside the window.

A glance at the person, but I only met a journal book. The person behind the book was so focused on the paper. Drawing or writing? I looked at the actions and kept those questions in my head.

I then put my attention back into my camera. I snapped a few shots and checked them. I did it again and again like a loop, not caring for the stranger who sat opposite me.

And both of us continued sitting there in silence.

“Have a good day miss.”

I looked up and met with an empty seat. The loud bell sound then appeared out of nowhere. I assumed that might come from a clock tower nearby. I checked my watch and gasped.

“I’ve been here for hour and a half already?” I started packing my camera and some postcards that I didn’t finish writing.

The moment I stood up and stepped toward the door, one of the waiters stopped me. He handed me a piece of brown ripped paper and a postcard.

“These aren’t mine.”

“It was on your table, sir.” I didn’t care about it that much and put both into my pocket.

‘What a tiring day.’ I thought to myself. I strolled down the eat part of the town today. The beach was nice. I could feel the breeze wash over me and left a fresh sea salt scent.

“What could it be?” I picked up the thing I got in the morning. Inspecting the handwriting, it must belong to that stranger. She surely had a neat yet unique handwriting. I assumed these were a part of her journal.

There were a few translucent color dots on a paper. She spilled something? She painted? I flipped the paper and searched for any clue to find her. Fortunately, there was something.

“Interesting.”

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Author POV.

2 years later

“Any meeting?” Taehyung asked his secretary to check his schedule. He had been busy for awhile after his father stepped down from the position.

“Sir, you have a meeting around…” His secretary reviewed his schedule.

“For the project, we have an appointment with the artist in the evening.”

The secretary closed her iPad and left him in the elevator. Taehyung went up to another floor before he left. He then stepped into his office.

“Sir, the artist arrived.”

After he ended the call, he stepped into a metal box. The door closed and the digital screen ran a set of numbers as he went down.

“Here is the copy of their plan.” Taehyung received the file and scrolled through the plan. Checking the details, he decided to wait for their presentation.

Everyone stood up and bowed to him as a greeting when the glass door slid open. He took a seat and the others followed.

“Shall we start?” When he asked, a woman stood up from her seat. She walked toward the screen that had already prepared the presentation.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Y/N POV.

‘Here we go.’ I thought to myself and the glass door slid open.

The CEO stepped inside the room. His every step echoed in the room-making my heartbeat went faster. When we all took our seats, I then noticed his feature. He looked young, probably around my age. His posture was calm yet intimidate.

“Shall we start?” Ok, y/n, you got this. I stood up with confident. I tried my best to look calm. If anyone could read my thought, they would know how nervous I was.

I started by explaining my inspiration a little bit before moving on to the concept and its details. It was nerve-wracking since the guy stared at me throughout my presentation. I felt him monitoring my moves, and that made me anxious.

“Is there any question?” Now, time to face the real anxiety.

I was right. He then started asking millions of questions about my idea.

The scribbling sound was loud and clear. I was now sitting in the CEO’s cabinet. He noted down the details while I explained. He dismissed everyone from the meeting half an hour ago since their working hour was end.

“Have we ever met before?” He asked a random question out of the blue.

“I..I don’t think so.” Why did I stutter?

I saw him smiled a little. Did I say something wrong? He knew me before? I was sure that I didn’t meet him before. My forgetful self started recalling his face.

“My secretary will contact you for our next appointment.” I nodded and stood up-ready to leave.

“Oh, can you leave your personal contact? In case, we have to call you for the urgent work.” I then left him my personal contact and left the place.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Author POV.

With the contact you left a week ago, Taehyung always messaged you. Even if it was about work, you were a little puzzled. Is it common for that huge interior company to let the boss directly contact any worker (even though you weren’t his employee directly)?

The clock was ticking. The sky gradually changed its shade. Everyone continued working on the job as usual. Taehyung was so busy surfing through the site and gallery of the artist. Lucky that he had his own office because if someone found him smiling like an idiot in front of the screen right now, they would think he was weird.

“I’ll see you soon.” He spoke to himself while looking through your work.

After Taehyung met you, to say Taehyung was head over heal into you wasn’t an exaggerated liar. He was even more obsessed with you when he saw your handwriting. He got his answer that you were ‘that’ stranger.

“Why are we here today? I thought we are going to work on the project.” You and Taehyung got closer after a week of him messaging to you unstop about work (A/N: *Ahem* work you say?)

“Well, this is also work, is it not?” His boxy smiled plaster his face.

“At the art exhibition?”

“Yeah, because I want learn about them. It can help me better understanding what you are doing and fuse them into my collection as well.”

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Taehyung POV.

‘Is that excuse work?’ I looked at her face. She seemed to not catch my real intention. I still put on my signature innocent smile-using it to persuade her.

“We better to be hurry then. Today we also needed to buy my equipment.” I succeeded. She entered the place without asking any further.

I snapped many shots when we were inside. She was so passionate about the exhibition. I usually preferred a peaceful atmosphere while walking in the exhibition hall. However, the way she kept talking about each piece of art, I didn’t find it annoying or boring.

“You seemed to be into this piece. Do you want it to be the main pantone of your collection?” I got out of my head and nodded. She then chuckled lightly.

‘Ah, I embarrassed myself, didn’t I?’

“Ok, we should leave then.”

We were here for a few hours now. She was lost in her world. When she picked the colors, she wouldn’t forget to ask for my comment. If I approved, she would be happy. Her eyes glowed thousands of lights. I couldn’t help but stare. She was indeed passionate about our work.

‘Our?’ When I realized that I used that word, I somehow felt a tingle feeling inside.

“We can get out of here soon. Do you think this is enough?” I snapped back to reality. I then met a cart full of art tools.

“I think these will do.” I emphasized the word these to remind her that it was enough.

“Sorry, I picked them for personal purpose as well. Hope you won’t mind.” I gave her a disbelief look while she grinned.

“If you mind, you can cut it from my salary.” She pouted and wheeled the cart.

‘Cute’

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Author POV.

Little by little, you fell for Taehyung. It was a feeling that gradually develop without your notice. By the time you realized it, you had already established your status with him.

“And again, you bring me to somewhere out of our schedule.”

“And you like it as always.” You rolled your eyes and entered the restaurant.

Entering a familiar elegant restaurant, a waitress led you both toward the VIP table. Guess who booked that?

The waiter then approached your table and left the menu on the table. He stood there and waited patiently for your order. You finished ordering your meal in the blink of an eye since you only had one fav dish. However, for Taehyung, it took ages to order.

“Why is it so quiet today?” You asked. You glanced around the floor and saw no one other than your table.

“Oh, I booked the whole floor today.” Taehyung answered it as if it was a normal thing to do.

“You did what?” You looked at the guy with a shocked face. He noticed your expression and chuckled.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Y/N POV.

This was unbelievable. Why on earth did he need to book the whole floor? I had no idea of what was on his mind. Being close with Taehyung, I learned one thing. That one thing was sometimes you needed no rational thought to do something.

The quiet atmosphere then got replaced when a musician started playing some tunes. The soft melody filled the air.

‘He is up to something?’

I monitored his expressions and actions, but I didn’t get the answer. I couldn’t keep the curiosity any longer. I opened my mouth to fire out the question.

“Please, enjoy the meal.”

‘Lucky you, Tae.’ A waitress interrupted me before I could ask. Both of us started eating our meal.

I felt the meal was more delicious. Is it because of the atmosphere?

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Taehyung POV.

‘Phew she didn’t ask anything yet.’ I thought to myself while eating the meal. Thanks to that waitress, she didn’t get her chance. I didn’t want her to know my surprise just yet.

Curious right?

Today, I booked our favorite restaurant to discuss on the work like always. It looked ordinary until here. Now, the surprise plan will start.

I signaled a waiter who stood beside. He knew that it was the time for the special menu. Waiting for a bit, a box finally landed on the middle of the table.

“Open it.” I ordered her. She gave me a suspiscious look before carefully opened it.

*gasp*

“And that is your answer.” I spoke. I knew what she was about to ask before our meal arrived.

— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ —

Author POV.

“That was such a lovely story. I could see ladies in the venue look jelous at you both.”

Wedding day

The MC spoke. Taehyung give his signature smile. He isn’t shy about it. You can tell that he is bragging your story to the audience.

“And I told her about the letter. I still remembered how she was surprise and then her face flush. It was really cute.” The audience awe at him.

“Ok, we will now moving on to the surprise of tonight.” Taehyung glance at the MC. He remembers that the next thing is throwing the bouquet.

“You didn’t expect it, did you? Since you gave me such a surprise that day, I am going to give you one today.”

You look at your husband who look so lost. You chuckle at his expression before 2 staff step on stage with a gift. They then hand it to him and you wait for his reaction.

“Oh my god.” He looks shock when he tears off a wrapper. It was a sketch of him from the day you met him.

“So is this why you didn’t have any conversation with me or even look at me?” He smirks and teases you.

“There are more.”

The MC now hand him a box which is much smaller than the first gift. He shakes a few time after recieves them. When he know that isn’t going to help him to guess, he open the bow.

He gasp so do the aucience. His eyes filled up with tears. His hands are shaking. The MC take the little gift out of his hand and show it to the audience. The audience go wild. The cheering and whistling sound echo in the venue. You then grab the mic and speak.

“Congratulation my dear, you are going to be papa.”

Author note : This story was inspired by the story from a wedding of my friend’s cousin. Her cousin met his bride because he found her note. Their story then began. My friend told me the groom’s comment about the bride. “I thought the handwriting was beautiful. When I finally found the owner, she was more beautiful.” It sounded cheesy, but that was their story. I hope you enjoy this one. See you in the next os.

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etihw000 · 3 years

Note

You, Boun, Ninja and Taxi were my inspo for doing character designs, though I have to ask, what was the logic of the fashion you gave when interpreting the skins back at like 2013/2014? I could never figure out how to get that 2010s mcyt aesthetic of designs.

i’m gonna put this here for future reference: i do not want to answer asks that mention taxey. so if anyone else had sent in an ask involving her i probably deleted it and will continue to delete them, sorry.

but you tickled a bit of my rambling bones because i do like to talk, and she is part of what happened (i will hereby refer to her as T); so here we go.

i think you can separate my designs into two eras: before-T and after-T. before T came around, my designs interpreted the skins pretty literally. here’s bodil, here’s sky/ty/mitch/jerome, here’s bashur, and here’s jason.

my explanation on this: i was 13 and didn’t really like challenging myself. i’m pretty sure i took jason’s design from dopier, for example. so i took the easy way route out on a lot of things!

but most notably, i didn’t want to draw complicated designs like sky’s. so the answer was very simple and clear: obviously, put it onto a sweater! i’m sure it was originally meant to be armor, but i didn’t want to draw armor. that’s too much thinking, too much highlighting, and i just wanted to pump out fanart for what i liked.

i didn’t like drawing checkerboards, so i switched them to lines.

i didn’t want to draw an anthro, so i just made it into a bear hat ala michael (i’m pretty sure this bear-type hat was more prominent in 2014, but it seems to have been simplified into just a hoodie with bear ears?).

i didn’t want to draw a humanoid watermelon nor did i even know where to begin with that, so i just drew bashur’s skin as a human and mirrored the design onto his hair and everything else was kept similarly.

it’s what happened with jason’s design - remember his astronaut-y outfit? yeah, i changed it to a hoodie shortly afterwards with an astronaut-y print. hated drawing that shit, challenging yourself is dead.

so in early 2014 (i came to the realization that i actually didn’t draw mcyt in 2013; i started drawing it in 2014), honestly just look at the skins you want to interpret and go with the simplest possible outcome. the end.

however, if you’re talking a bit later with the more unique designs - there was one notable thing that happened that caused it.

see, i was a cranky little 14 year old child who got way too much attention. and with that attention came people copying my art - and one of them was T.

i was highly uncomfortable at the time because, well, when you’re 14 you want to be unique as possible; you wanna stand out. and i was the only one who drew mcyt in this vaguely anime style way (because it wasn’t minecraft). and because we were all fucking weebs i assume people just started copying my art style wholesale.

see, people would mistake me for T. and vice-versa. i was extremely unhappy with this bullshit. “why are people mistaking me for this person,” i thought very unhappily to myself. and because i didn’t want to change my bloody art style, i decided designs were the way to go. so i went a bit crazy with it.

started out pretty simple. i cut ty’s shirt slightly differently (it still plagues his fanart to this day, i’m sorry ty). i gave bodil a beanie. everything was fine.

and then i still didn’t fucking want to draw checkerboards, so i just made a unique design for mitch. it followed with zek (the jacket on the right with the blue), who also had a checkerboard print.

i did not want anyone replicating what i did, because it pissed me the fuck off something fierce. and i don’t know nor do i remember this clearly, but i’m pretty sure T started doing the same damn thing anyway. and i’m pretty sure it’s only T, because when I talked with swift and jasie they didn’t remember doing this shit. it was literally the two of us and whoever happened to be watching us do it.

it wasn’t meant to be easy to replicate.

it was meant to be a bitch to replicate.

(i did it with rage too. the man didn’t even have a checkerboard skin. the long hair also plagues his fanart to this day, too. sorry rage.)

the other designs (ragegaming-era) were in 2015. and i was still the same angry 14-year old kid, especially since the T situation hadn’t gotten any better. we were still being mistaken for each other. people were genuinely confused about which of us were who and i don’t know how to explain to you how much anger was packed into my tiny 14 year old unsocialized body.

i genuinely still don’t understand it now because our art styles were fundamentally different.

so i pitch you this question: what happens if simple skins meet this anger at being copied when even the simpler prints intended to be a bitch to replicate end up being mimicked, especially when the person you didn’t want copying you followed you into a wholeass new fandom? (we were more divided than now; TC and Crew were two completely different fandoms lol; we didn’t generally unite ourselves under ‘mcyt’)

you end up with other weird attempts. strangely asymmetrical cuts. even more complicated patterns. i apparently hid these but it was hell, i tell you.

but i can assure you that the patterns on my designs were almost always symmetrical, albeit colored differently from the other side. the asymmetrical parts were different - a cut, a rolled up pant leg. something that you could do with a regular article of clothing. i know that in my circle there were some people that would have different length in shoes. i never did that. i would literally never write words on a shirt, too. i wasn’t one of those graphic tee people.

then i guess in late 2015 i got tired of it all and went back to the simple times of just not wanting to draw difficult designs before quitting altogether.

so you want to know what defined 2014 designs?

it was a 14 year old’s absolute anger at being copied to fucking death and having to be mistaken for other people.

i hope this helped and i am now going to choose to forget that i ever decided to answer this ask. not because it was a bad ask, but because i don’t like thinking about T in particular.

thank you for indulging my rambling bones. here’s a tl;dr for you:

Before-T designs (simpler)

the interpretations are literal.

if you can’t tell what’s going on, just make it a sweater and copy the patterns on the skin 1:1.

if there’s a different head (jason’s astronaut helmet, jerome’s bacca head) just make it a hood or a hat.

After-T designs (more difficult)

you still don’t wanna draw things out of your comfort zone, so stay out of the armor/anthro business.

give every design two layers - three at most.

you love hoodies :)

if the skin is simple, use slightly different shades to add patterns (i believe he had a plain blue hoodie and plain black pants).

want to be even MORE unique than before? add something asymmetrical. remove a sleeve, roll up a pant leg, or something, but never shoes or gloves. they are sacred and you shouldn’t do that to them.

idk someone pointed out that i was apparently allergic to necks because i kept giving designs chokers or scarves or whatever. they’re usually solid in color

#2013mcyt but make it crow #y'know i worried a bit that i would come off as this extremely salty asshole for writing this reply #but then i remembered that i was the asshole of the 2014 fandom so like whatever #ask #eta: i feel the need to clarify that the reason why i dont want to talk about her isn't just because i wasnt happy that she was mimicking me #the reason is something deeper and more personal lol!!!! im petty but not THAT petty

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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

Text

Murphy’s Law (Bakugou x Reader)

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader

Genre: Fluff, comedy/crack

Summary: Bakugou just wants a peaceful date with you and promises to tone down his aggression, but things don’t always go his way.

Word count: 2,206

Inspo: This tik tok

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog @bunnythepipsqueak

a/n: I absolutely love writing these comedy/crack style plots, they’re so fun! They just fit so well with Bakugou’s character, what can I say?

Starting next post, I’ll finally be posting some spicy content ;) Not nsfw exactly, but I’d give it a PG-13 rating if I had to.

Anyway, its 3 am and I’m about to pass out. Enjoy~!

"You smell like...cherries?" Bakugou takes a deeper whiff of the crook of my neck. "No, wait... Vanilla?"

I bite my lip, trying not to chuckle too hard and disturb his adorable sleuthing.

"I got it," he moves up to stare me right in the eyes for my answer. "Coconut." When I nod, he smirks victoriously. "I knew it." He peppers my face and neck in soft kisses, his grip on my waist tightening. "Admit it, your boyfriend is amazing."

I tilt my head and scrunch my eyes. "You're...okay."

His grip turns into erratic twitches as he tickles me. "Just okay, huh?"

My breath is stolen by laughter. "Okay! You're amazing!" I curse his knowledge of my ticklish spots.

Bakugou ceases his mischievous torture and returns to our original cuddling position: his one arm on top of my waist and the other enveloping my shoulders as I rest on his chest. We bask in the silence of each other's warmth and breathing, the faint sound of his heartbeat thudding in my ear.

His warm fingers draw patterns against exposed skin near the hem of my shirt. "We haven't been out on a proper date for a while, we should go this weekend," he proposes out of the blue.

I mull over the idea. We've both been busy with training, and we both mutually agree that we prefer spending more intimate time with each other like this than being out on a formal date. "What brought this up?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"It's just a random thing, no big deal," he snorts, trying to pass it off casually, but I know him well enough to know better.

"You saw Todoroki taking Midoriya out, didn't you?"

I hear the clinking of his teeth as he clenches his jaw, taking that as a positive response.

I sigh, loosing draping my arm onto his chest. "Katsuki-"

"I just wanna make you feel special, okay?" he blurts out, terse but affectionate in his own way. "I don't want you to think I don't care about you or that you're missing out on things other couples do. I'm your man, you deserve more."

My fingers softly trail up his arm. In other words, he feels like he's not doing enough in our relationship. I peck his lips. "Okay, let's do it. But let's not go somewhere too fancy. I don't feel like dressing up and all that. Besides, you're too...excited for those quiet places."

His eyebrows furrow. "Whaddaya mean by that?"

I want to chuckle at his defiance. "You get very easily riled up. Sometimes, you just need to tone it down a notch."

Though he pouts, he mutters, "I'll be on my best behavior, promise."

The weekend finally rolls around. The Sun shines brightly, there isn't a cloud in the sky, the temperature is brisk, nothing could possibly go wrong.

Bakugou agreed to meet at noon so we could go out for lunch at this cute outdoor restaurant downtown. I dress in a somewhat-fancy-somewhat-casual grey sweater, black leather pants, and Chelsea boots. While I'm deciding on what accessories to style with my outfit, there's a knock at my door. I glance at the clock, only then realizing it's 12:30, and rush to the door.

Bakugou stands in the doorway, looking like an absolute snack. For some reason, he's dressed in a crisp white button down, fitted black slacks down above his ankles held up by black suspenders, and brown dress shoes. Slack jawed, I barely have a second to comment on how amazing he looks before he storms into my room and I catch a whiff of his cologne, wanting to shower him with compliments.

"Katsuki-"

"I woke up late, I'm sorry," he growls, throwing a black strip of fabric around his neck and making a beeline for my full length mirror. He's trying to knot a tie around his neck, I realize. "My alarm didn't go off for some stupid reason, and I wanted to wake up early to get you flowers before coming here. This date's already ruined and I'm not even ready- AND THIS STUPID TIE JUST WON'T TIE PROPERLY!" Clearly, he's already worked up and his tie won't cooperate with him.

At first, it's cute watching him struggle, but I realize he's genuinely bothered by this entire situation. I wrap my arms around his torso from behind. "Babe, it's fine. We're not in a hurry, just take your time." I assure him softly. "I was just finishing up myself."

At the sound of my voice, my boyfriend releases his tension in a sigh. "You're right. I promised I'll be calmer today." He finally finishes tying his tie and smooths it over.

I smile and kiss his cheek to comfort him. "You look so handsome."

A light blush colors Bakugou's cheeks as he runs his hands through his hair. "I did it for you, dummy," he admits in the softest voice.

We stare at each other in the mirror fondly for a moment, and I ruffle his hair. "Let's go, whenever you're ready."

As we're getting ready to leave the dorms, Kaminari and Mineta are playing some sort of weird game in the hallway with Mineta's purple spheres where Kaminari tries to hit them with his lightning.

One of them flies past Bakugou's head, just missing it, and he almost goes off. "I swear if one of those things hits me in the face, you idiots are-!" Cutting himself off at the end, he takes a deep breath. "I'm calm, I'm calm. Let's just get out of here."

It's cute watching him struggle to stay calm for my sake.

And it doesn't get any easier. Somewhere during the walk over to the restaurant, the sprinkler system turns on in someone's lawn and managed to almost spritz Bakugou's crisp outfit. He says nothing and holds in his complaints, like a true trooper. The next thing to go wrong is the train getting delayed. Such a small nuisance is too much for the boy, as evidenced by the wild tapping of his foot on the floor to the point where some of the other passengers stare at him.

"If I could use my quirk, I would've just blasted us out of here to the restaurant," he mutters in my ear.

I squeeze his hand in mine. "You're doing a great job, babe."

The smile that appears on his face is absolute bliss.

After the train finally moves and we reach our stop, we make our way through the city hand in hand, talking only to each other.

"You've out-dressed me, Katsuki. Where did these clothes even come from?"

"My mom always told me a formal outfit is a staple," the boy shrugs in response. "I just didn't want to wear the jacket because it's still daytime."

In the back of my head, I realize that Bakugou seems to have an unconscious eye for dressing presentable, he just chooses to wear joggers and a T-shirt all the time.

"I just figured we were going to a nice place and I wanted to look good, you know?" he continues. "Even though everything's kinda gone to hell so far today."

My heart melts for how hard he's trying, and I decide to hug his arm for comfort. "You're doing amazing. I'm having fun just being with you so far."

In return, he kisses my forehead. "The date's not over yet, we still need to eat." He takes out his phone. "I just need to make sure we're going-"

We collide into someone who's not watching where they're going, and, unfortunately, Bakugou's phone gets knocked out of his hand. Almost in slow motion, we watch as the poor device crashes against the concrete face down. I can feel his grip on my hand tighten as he growls and picks up the phone, hoping for the best, only to realize there are now spidery cracks across the surface.

I hold my breath for the inevitable outburst, which doesn't come. A vein pops in Bakugou's neck and a muscle jumps in his jaw, but no sound escapes his lips except an extended, harsh exhale. "Can I check it on your phone, babe?" he asks through clenched teeth, and I offer to be navigator myself out of pity.

When we finally get to the restaurant, we sit down and have our meal in peace. The blond seems to relax as food slowly fills his belly and we carry light conversation with each other.

"You finished all the rolls already?!" I guffaw, covering my face to keep myself from being too loud, "Were you that hungry?"

"I told you I got up late!" he growls, ripping off a piece from the last roll, "I haven't eaten yet all day."

I take his hand from across the table. "And you deserve it, with the day you've had so far."

Smooth as a criminal, he kisses my fingers gently, "At least you're here. But you shouldn't give me your hand so easily, I might bite you because of how hungry I am." He jokingly starts play biting my hand, making me laugh again. And just for a moment, our eyes catch each other's, sharing our affections wordlessly.

Until something - or someone - crashes into our table.

Both of us get to our feet instinctively and inspect the damage. The person who had crashed our table is a male waiter we recognized moving around since we've been here.

"That man is a villain! He's trying to rob the place!" one of the staff announces from across the room.

The man slowly tries standing on his feet, catching onto the closest thing to help himself. Which happened to be Bakugou's pant leg. Looking up, the sorry villain realizes he's just sealed his fate.

Bakugou's face is crimson with impatient rage, bottled up from the entire day and ready to explode onto the nearest victim.

"What. The actual. Fuck?" he murmurs from deep in his throat down at the villain, who's eyes are widening as he registers he might actually be facing a devil. The boy's breathing gets ragged. "You have exactly," he pulls and undoes the knot around his neck in one swift movement, not breaking his malicious glare on the villain, "Two seconds," he throws the tie aside and slides his suspenders off his shoulders, "Before I blast you into oblivion," the top buttons of his shirt are undone.

"I-I'm so sorry I interrupted your date," the villain's eyes widen as he slides backwards into the broken table. "Y-You two must've been having a good time-"

"Damn RIGHT we were!" Bakugou bellows, sleeved already folded and he's pushing them up past his elbows away from his hands. "Now you're gonna DIE!"

As hot as it was watching my angry boyfriend slightly undress, I don't want him getting in trouble doing something illegal. I grasp his taut elbow, avoiding his forearm. "Katsuki, just leave this for the pros to deal with, don't get yourself in trouble."

He slowly calms his breathing, but still eyes the man with a murderous glint as we back away from the situation.

We silently eat our sandwiches on a park bench. Bakugou's gnawing and mashing his food to get his anger out, his tie hanging out of his pocket since he couldn't be bothered to re-tie it around his neck, or readjust his outfit.

I quietly admire his rugged appearance and let out a small chuckle.

He shoots me a look. "What're you laughing at?"

"I'm just thinking how much better you look when you're all undone like this," I remark, finishing the last of my own sandwich, "You looked too uptight before, this is way more casual."

My comment is met with a smirk and a huff as he uses one arm to pull me so close to him, I might as well be on his lap. "Is that your way of saying I look hot all angry like this?"

"Maybe." With that, I steal the last bite from his sandwich.

Bakugou sets the wrapper aside and hugs my waist with both hands, setting me properly in front of him so I can look him straight on. "I'm sorry I lost my cool like that. I promised I'd stay calm for you today, but nothing even went right all day and then that mess happened."

His ashamed expression makes me plant a quick kiss on his lips, allowing a light blush to appear in its place. "You're amazing, Katsuki. You've had such crappy luck all day and you managed to hold in your anger for most of it. But, while I appreciate the effort, you really didn't have to." I wrap my arms around his neck affectionately. "I love you and all your hotheaded screaming, you dope, no fancy dates or rules needed. Don't feel like you need to do more for me when I just need you."

A heart-melting smile spreads across Bakugou's face as he rests our foreheads together. "I don't deserve you, babe, you're the best I could ever ask for." Our lips join together in a sweet kiss for a moment.

I break it with a chuckle. "Honestly though, I really would've liked to see you smash that guy's face in."

"Me too!"

#Bakugou x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #bakugou imagine #crack #bakugou scenario #gender neutral reader #bnha x reader #bnha fanfiction #mha x reader #mha fanfiction

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aonesteddybear · 4 years

Text

Somewhere In My Car

daichi audibly, swallowed, clearing his throat before he nodded towards the backseat. “do you want…?” he questioned softly, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid as suga licked his own lips, daichi’s eyes snapping down to stare at the swollen skin as suga nodded softly.

sawamura daichi x sugawara koushi

warnings: e for explicit, 18+, car sex, pet names

word count: 3226

notes: this was originally posted to my ao3 account. i had "somewhere in my car" playing lowkey as inspo, and i see daichi’s car as an old 1965 mustang but like...none of it really matters I guess. also uploaded as a reader x daichi which can be found here

Sugawara had honestly never been happier for the downpour that had started, forcing him and Daichi to take cover from their makeshift picnic spot on the hood of Daichi’s old mustang. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his boyfriend and he loved his spontaneous dates, but a 10pm picnic date on his car in a random parking lot out in the middle of the country after failing a chemistry test wasn’t his current idea of fun. It really had started innocent enough, soft nods from Daichi as he poured out drinks into plastic cups and feeding him tidbits of cheese and other food as Suga had ranted about just how unfair the test was and how he had really studied for it and it didn’t even make sense why he had to take chemistry to be a school teacher.

Daichi had simply stared at him adoringly in between bits of food, both ignoring the distant rumbles of thunder that had moved in quicker than either of them had expected. Daichi had admitted his original plans were to go stargazing, but the cloud cover had ruined that plan and he had decided instead to simply remain with his back up plan of just eating together. Neither of them had barely any time to recognize what was about to happen, as two large drops fell from the sky. Hitting them both squarely in the face before the sky opened drenching the both. Gasps and curses left both of their mouth as rain streamed down, rushing to get the supplies picked up and stuffed in the trunk before Suga headed to the passenger side door.

However, before he could open it, Daichi was grabbing him by the arm pulling him into his chest and leaning down to kiss him even as the rain slid down both of their faces, sticking their clothes to their skin. After a moment, he released his partner, opening up the door as he shooed Suga into the car, closing it behind him as he ran around to his side, both of them ignoring the “No Wet Clothes” rule he had for the old leather.

Suga couldn’t help but giggle at the sight; Both were soaking wet, hair pinned to their heads as water ran down both of their faces. Daichi looked over, eyes soft and Suga couldn’t help but stare back adoringly. “I’m sorry babe, this is not at all what I had planned.” Daichi admitted sheepishly.

“It was perfect, Daichi.” Suga promised, hand reaching out to brush water form Daichi’s cheek, and he tenderly leaned into the touch before he pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s palm before he shifted forward in his seat reaching out to kiss Suga softly. The rain drumming outside matched Suga’s excited heartbeat as Daichi’s tongue ran along his bottom lip. As Suga’s lips parted, allowing for Daichi’s tongue to run into his mouth Suga felt his own eyelashes flutter against his cheeks in excitement as Daichi’s hand found purchase in his hair. Tugging him in closer as they continued to kiss, smiling as Suga let out a soft moan at a soft pull of his hair.

After a moment, the two of them broke apart, both panting lightly staring at each other under the soft glow of a lone streetlight in the lot, filtering in the already fogged up windows. Daichi audibly, swallowed, clearing his throat before he nodded towards the backseat. “Do you want…?” He questioned softly, leaving the rest of the sentence unsaid as Suga licked his own lips, Daichi’s eyes snapping down to stare at the swollen skin as Suga nodded softly.

“Yeah…yeah lets...” his own words trailed off as Daichi shifted, bringing his seat forward before awkwardly clambering into the backseat ungracefully due to his large frame. Suga lifted a hand to his mouth, giggling softly as Daichi looked back finally finding his balance. “Come on now Sugar, I’d like to see you do better.” He stated with a laugh and Suga felt his cheeks heat up at the pet name. Still, he took Daichi’s outstretched hand, copying his movements as he moved to straddle his legs. “You sure this okay?” Suga questioned softly, bumping their heads together. As Daichi cocked his head slightly, lips opening to question his words, Suga made a soft gesture to the exterior where they were parked. Daichi hummed, a soft acknowledgement as he leant forward to press a soft peck to his boyfriend’s lip. “No one comes out here really. Besides horny kids, and good boyfriends trying to plan cute dates before they get ruined.” He promised, drawing a soft laugh from Suga as he reached up to cup his boyfriends head with both hands. “I think you still fall in the first category.” He whispered against his lips, as Daichi’s hands moved to grab his hips lightly.

“Oh, absolutely Sugar. I never said I didn’t.” He promised, a hand running up Suga’s back flush against his skin as the other one rocked Suga’s hips forward, allowing him to feel the growing bulge in his pants. At Suga’s flush, he gently grabbed his shirt, tugging it up over Suga’s head before his hands spread across pale skin admiring the glow of it underneath the lighting. Suga leaned forward, kissing Daichi’s neck where it was exposed before he reached down to pull the other mans shirt over his head, tossing it to the front.

Daichi hummed in excitement, hands running flush over the Suga’s chest before he looked up at his partner. “Have I told you how good you look tonight?” He questioned and Suga blushed harder than he thought was possible. “I always want to look good for you.” He admitted sheepishly, and Daichi grinned, his mouth opening in mock shock. “Koushi,” He crooned, “You called me a horny kid, and here you are in my lap in the back of my car telling me you wanna look good for me.” He teased, leaning forward to kiss his a path up to his mouth as his hands ran down Suga’s back, scraping gently as the man shivered and pressed forward into his partner.

Daichi’s hands moved to Suga’s chest, fingers brushing over his nipples before he gently rolled the buds over in his fingers. At the soft noise that escaped Suga’s mouth, he dipped his head down, sucking a soft mark into his chest as Suga squirmed, hands finding purchase in Daichi’s hair as he moved down to instead run his tongue along one of his nipples as his hand pinched the other one.

Daichi’s name left Suga’s mouth in a soft moan, rocking his hips against the other man as Daichi continued to play with his chest – alternating between each side as Suga moaned out for him incoherent sentences. “Please, Daichi, I need you to touch me.” He finally managed to get out, as Daichi’s eyes flickered up. “Oh? Where?” Daichi asked, gently raking his teeth along his nipple as Suga gasped harshly, head rolling back at the tender sensation. “I want…you to touch me.” He slurred out this time and Daichi hummed, biting his chest lightly.

“I know baby, but where? Where do you want me to touch you?” He pressed, tongue lapping over the mark he had left and Suga let out a soft whine. “You gotta tell me, or else I won’t know.”

Suga shyly covered his face as he mumbled out ineligible words. “What was that? Can’t hear you.” Daichi teased, reaching up to pull his hand down so he was forced to look him in the eye. “I want…you to touch my cock.” Suga admitted, and Daichi smiled slyly. “Okay baby, all you had to do was ask.” He admitted, shifting the two of them in order to lay Suga down across the seat.

Daichi kissed his way down Suga’s stomach, nipping and sucking soft marks all the way as his fingers expertly undid the button and zipper, before he tugged the pants and underwear down Suga’s legs in one smooth movement. No matter how many times the captain had seen him naked, Suga still couldn’t help but blush at the intense gaze of his captains eyes as he stared at his cock. His head dipped then, licking up the shaft as Suga gasped, hips attempting to pull away from the sudden sensation as Daichi held his hips tightly preventing further movement, before he lowered his head down, taking him solidly in his mouth.

Suga’s mouth opened in a silent “O” as Daichi’s tongue ran firmly against his length, slowly bobbing his head up and down it as Suga moaned out his name, his hand falling back to Daichi’s hair softly fisting it as his hips trembled trying to keep from thrusting up into the warm heat of his partners mouth. Daichi continued with the obscene slurps, laving away as Suga’s breathing grew erratic. Pulling off with a soft pop, Daichi smirked up at his partner as Suga cursed at the loss of sensation, “Hold on baby,” He assured, continuing to slowly stroke Suga’s cock with one hand as he leaned forward into the front seat pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom from the glovebox before he returned back to sit squarely between Suga’s legs.

He finally paused his movements, long enough to pop open the bottle and drizzling some of the liquid onto his fingers before he carefully closed it and set both the bottle and the condom aside for later use. As he rubbed the lube between his fingers, warming it, he leant forward to suck Suga’s cock back into his mouth laughing lightly around it as he gasped out a short “Oh fuck!” at the sensation, “Easy sugar,” Daichi reminded, slightly muffled as he moved to instead run one of his fingers around Suga’s hole, lightly pressing in as Suga’s mouth fell open in silence.

“So tight for me.” He purred out, vibrations sending a chill up Suga’s body. “What do I do to deserve you? Deserve this? Feel so good around me. Can’t wait to fuck you open good.”

His verbal praise had Suga whimpering in pleasure, eyes scrunching shut as well. “Listen to all those noises you’re making? Are they just for me Kou?” Daichi questioned even as Suga’s hands raised to cover his mouth in embarrassment. “No baby, I wanna hear you.” Daichi insisted, stopping his movements opting to instead run his tongue along the slit at the top of Suga’s cock which resulted in his hips involuntary snapping up. Daichi laughed at that, watching as Suga pulled his arm away instead opting to fist it tightly in the seat. “Dai, I can’t.” He whimpered out, “It’s too much…so good. I can’t, I’m so close.” Suga continued as Daichi added yet another finger inside, this time curling it up to stroke against the spot he knew would leave Suga a puddle.

“That’s it Sugar, I know. Fuck I wanna hear you, feel you, taste you so bad. Come on now, cum for me Koushi.” Daichi encouraged, tongue continuing it’s assault on the sensitive head while his fingers remained prodding on his prostate causing the man to tremble around him. Daichi knew Suga’s body almost as well as he knew his own, and he wasn’t shy with knowing the buildup to his partners orgasm. So he knew exactly when Suga started to come, body tensing rapidly around his fingers as Suga cried out his name sharply, salty fluids coating his mouth he eagerly swallowed down all the while staring up at Suga’s face as it contorted in beautiful pleasure.

Daichi continued the stroking and sucking until Suga was pushing his head away, begging his boyfriend to stop from oversensitivity. As Daichi pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand Suga erupted in a new blush instead opting to sit up, pulling his legs underneath him as he nudged Daichi back so he could reach his pants to undo. Daichi softly lifted his hips up allowing for Suga to pull his jeans and boxers down, not missing how the grey-haired mans eyes fell to his cock as it hit his stomach, it involuntary twitching at his attention.

Suga shifted laying down on the seat as he wrapped his hand around it giving an experimental pump, watching as liquid beaded at the top from the gentle touch. As he leant forward to lick a soft stripe up the side of it, Daichi’s head fell back shoulders dropping as he relaxed into the seat as Suga took him into his mouth. A soft moan slid out of Suga’s mouth vibrating Daichi’s cock, as Daichi’s hands found purchase on the back of Suga’s head gently pushing him down as Suga jaw slacked allowing the movement. “Baby, you’re so perfect.” Daichi moaned out, stroking his face gently as Suga deep throated him, his nose nestled at the bottom where coarse curls tickled his face eager to please. As Suga’s throat constricted around, it he pulled off drool running down his chin even as Daichi thumbed it away fondly watching as Suga continued the licking and sucking of his lengths even in between soft pants as he caught his breath.

Daichi’s hips continued to lightly roll up into his partner’s mouh as Suga moved back to bob his head up and down the length. A soft hiss escaped Daichi’s mouth, as Daichi suddenly gripped Suga’s hair tightly in warning.

“Wait baby, fuck Suga, ah-like that..Gotta stop doing that for me baby.” He warned, voice strained. “No..wait actually Koushi…Shit, I-..that’s good, baby come on please.” He groaned, fingers tightening in his hair pulling Suga off. “You gotta stop that baby.” He purred, stroking Suga’s cheek fondly. “You’re too good, I’m not gonna last,” he admitted shifting instead to grab the condom he had set aside earlier. Opening it carefully, before he rolled it down his length pulling away as Suga moved to grab the lube, globbing a small bit onto his palm as he coated the latex with soft strokes. After a moment, Daichi reached out for Suga, grabbing his hips as the smaller man straddled him helping to line him up as Suga sunk down onto Daichi with a soft sigh.

Daichi’s brow was furred into tight concern, carefully watching his partner's face for discomfort as he gently gripped his hips with both hands. Finding no signs of pain, Daichi gave an experimental roll of his hips, locking eyes with Suga as he moaned softly. Suga’s hands moving up to Daichi’s face cupping it softly as he kissed him, their hips moving together in sync, soft gasps and noises falling from both of their lips in between kisses as Suga continued to roll his hips.

Daichi’s hands situated themselves on Suga’s thighs and hips in a tight grip, leaving bruising marks Suga knew would be sensitive the next day. Rocking Suga at a soft pace that had them both aching for more. After a moment, Daichi moved his one hand, opting to wrap it around Suga’s leaking cock. Stroking it in time with the thrusts, as Suga moaned sharply into his mouth. “Dai, that feel’s so good.” He whispered out, Daichi humming in response, bumping their foreheads together as he continued thrusting up into Suga’s body. “Mind if we switch positions?” he questioned softly, as Suga nodded in response.

Wrapping his arms around Suga, one hand slid down to cup his partner’s ass opting to squeeze it tightly to hold him firm inside him as he shifted the two of them down onto the seat where he could easily thrust up into Suga which he did as soon as they were situated, earning a choked noise from the other man.

Daichi’s head cocked, giving another experimental roll as Suga’s back arched up off the seat hands failing to find contact with anything possible as Daichi continued to hit his prostate. Suga’s hands found Daichi’s back, fingers nail digging in and a brace up against the window, fingers sliding down them leading a trail on the fogged up window which would be visible the next time anybody looked too closely. Even the biting pain of Suga’s nails though didn’t detour Daichi as he sped up his thrusts, earning soft sobs of pleasure from Suga’s mouth as he shifted to wrap his hand around Suga’s cock once more, speeding up both his hands and thrusts to Suga’s moans.

“Daich-Daichi please…oh god…Dai, fuck like that.”

Strained noises continued from Suga as he tried to voice his impending second orgasm of the evening as Daichi continued the assault of pleasure on his partner. “I know baby,” he acknowledged softly, brow furrowing tighter in response. “I know…I’m just as close.” He admitted, ducking his head to Suga’s collarbone, pressing a row of kisses as he nipped at skin.

“Feel so good around me, so fuckin’ tight Koushi. Just like that baby, say my name.” Daichi encouraged, pressing soft kisses to the places he had turned red even as Suga’s eyes tightened shut, gasping at the sensations. “I can’t-“ he started, cut off by a harsh bite from Daichi which turned the words into a strangled moan of Daichi’s name again.

“Yes, you can. Baby you got this, so good more.” Daichi encouraged, lovingly. “Cum for baby, give in. That’s it…Cum for be, Sugar.”

It was the pet name that pushed Sugawara over the edge, his body spasming as his fingers dug harshly into Daichi’s skin seeking contact as his body arched up into him crying out Daichi’s name as chant as his cock painted both of their stomachs white.

As Suga came around him, Daichi cursed burying his head once again into his partners shoulder as he lightly bit down, as his hips snapped forward stilling for a moment before he continued soft strokes of both his hand and hips working them both through the orgasm until Suga was pushing at him begging him to stop from oversensitivity and he draped himself over the other man unceremoniously as they laid together focusing on the other’s breathing and the sound of the rain beating on the roof of the car still.

Suga drew soft circles in Daichi’s back, over the red marks he had left accidentality but knew Daichi would never complain about. After a few moments, Daichi pulled back - apologizing at the soft whine Suga left out from the unwanted stimulation – and took off the condom, tying it off as he set it aside carefully for later disposal before he laid back down. His head resting on the valley of Suga’s chest as Suga moved to gently play with his hair.

As the rain continued on, they both silently watched the raindrops roll down the fogged-up windows. Daichi shifted again, reaching up to draw a crude “SD +” on the window before he looked down pointedly at the man under him. Suga grinned softly, shifting up to add his own initials so it read “DS + KS” and Daichi finished it off by making a soft heart around the letters as Suga giggled at the mushy, tender gesture. Reaching up he pulled his boyfriends face closer to his to kiss. “I love you Daichi Sawamura.” He admitted, rubbing their nose together as Daichi’s eye lashes fluttered open, staring back adoringly also. “I love you too, Koushi Sugawara."

#sugawara kōshi #sugawara koshi #sugawara #suga #sugawara koushi #koushi sugawara #daichi sawamura #daichi #sawamura daichi #daisuga #daichi x suga #suga x daichi #bella writes #ship #spicy #hit queue till it breaks

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vanchlo · 4 years

Text

The Assistant / Chapter Forty-Five, “Evermore”

*Gif’s not mine*

Clickable Links:

- Masterlist feat. all chapters and Character Surveys

- Inspo tag

- Hecky Playlist

- Read on Wattpad

- Warnings: Mentions of hospital care

- Word Count: 7k words

“Her face is stuck in every place.

The front door, the ghost of her winter boots on the door mat, the barstools at the kitchen island where we laughed over glasses of her Rebecca wine, the crusty banana bread forgotten on the counter, the head of the kitchen table where we burned our mouths on pot pie, and that’s not even the worst of it. The blanket from Sunday night remains in a messy pile on the sofa, just how we had left it. My chest shakes harder with another sob at the sight of it, and the wine glasses I had forgotten on the coffee table beside the bottles of nail polish.

Memories flood my insides when I sink onto the cushions, my head in my hands as her laugh from only three days ago fills my ears.”

Music Inspo: Hold My Girl by George Ezra (click to listen)

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

― Henry Miller

I’m woken from my dreams due to movements within my arms. Knuckling at my eyes with a groan, I look around, feeling regrettable about the reality that I had come back to. The one that I was previously immersed in was far better, and brings a reminiscent smile to my lips at the remembrance of. Settling my eyes on her, wrapped up safely inside of my arms, my lazy lips curl into a larger smile at the thought.

Her with her own arms holding a blue-eyed, dark-haired little baby with me at her side. Talk about dreamy.

Her forehead is warm underneath my lips, and soft as ever. The creamy vanilla lotion she uses leaves hints of the fragrance across her face, one of the few necessities Skye grabbed from home today. I brush away the loose waves that drape over her skin, but within seconds, I wish that I hadn’t when I find the stitches and colors claiming her.

A noise interrupts my thoughts and when I look up, the nurse is standing at my side clearing her throat. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she’s shaking her head at me.

“Harry,” she sighs, wagging a finger at me dramatically.

“Kristi, I know, ‘m not s’posed t’ be up here. ‘m sorry, but she was hysterical from a nightmare, and I couldn’t get her t’ calm down,” I confess in a dry voice.

Relenting with a sigh, she whispers her reply, “Alright, but you need to be careful of her IV tubing, as well as her injuries. I don’t want anybody else in her family thinking that we allow this kind of thing,” she pauses to wink, and I nod with understanding. “I’m glad you mentioned the nightmare, though, that’s something that I need to record.”

She follows up her lecture with a few quiet questions about the nightmare Becks had, and she types them in the laptop she brought in with her. Her eyebrows greeted her hairline when I mentioned Becks saying that she’s starting to remember, and that being the sole reason for the nightmare.

It could never feel sufficient, the number of whispery kisses I press to her battered skin, asleep or not. Bloody hell, is she so beautiful, I muse while admiring Becks below me, sleeping peacefully. Finally. I never want to stop kissing her, but soon after those thoughts sound in my skull, my heavy eyelids yell for me to close them. Giving in, they win and I fall into the soundest sleep I’ve had in days.

My own name rouses me from my sleep, and it takes a few moments of adjusting to remember where I am. It’s quicker than yesterday, making me realize how used to all of this I’m getting. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that, but it’s all washed away when I find the baby blue pair of eyes waiting for me.

“Morning,” she rasps, her voice sounding almost entirely hers now. I couldn’t be happier about it as her head remains on my shoulder, eyes poised towards me.

“G’mornin’, my sweet. How’d ya sleep fer tha rest o’ tha night?” I yawn, tapping her nose with my finger.

“Great,” she smiles and I nod happily, soon echoing her words. “Best I’ve slept here so far.”

“‘m so happy t’ hear that, bug,” I grin and she just stares back at me, something ethereal covering her body in front of me. My, is she something else entirely, I wonder silently. Glancing to my watch, my eyebrows shoot towards the ceiling. “Reckon we both needed it, ‘s bloody ten in tha mornin’, love.”

The softest of laughs tickles my ears, yanking my lips towards the sky effortlessly. There it is, at last, my favorite sound in the entire world. Well, next to her sing-song voice, that’s my favorite song of all.

“I missed hearin’ that,” I whisper, brushing the back of my finger against her satiny cheek. She just continues to smile, and my heart couldn’t feel fuller in this moment.

She’s okay, she’s smiling, she’s laughing, she’s so goddamn beautiful even with bruises and stitches, she’s mine, and she’s okay.

“How’re ya feelin’, bug? I hope I didn’t knock into ya in tha middle o’ tha night, or hurt ya or anythin’.”

“I’m okay, kinda hungry,” she answers, combing a hand through her hair and pausing to scratch an itch. “Head feels heavy and hurts though, and my tummy a little too.”

“That’s good yer hungry, yer appetite ‘s comin’ back. Here, lemme slide out and ‘ll press on yer pain pump.”

“No, Harry,” she objects, grabbing hold of my arm the second I make a movement. “Don’t leave, you’re all warm,” she whines, moving closer to me and grabbing a fistful of my button up in her hand.

Now, it’s my turn to giggle, “‘Kay, but only a few mo’ minutes, I don’t wantcha t’ be in pain, babe,” I coo, beginning to drag my fingers through her hair, but when I watch her eyes close, I stop. I know that she’ll fall back asleep if I do and she needs it, but I’m reminded of the day nurse emphasizing yesterday the importance of her needing to eat. “Don’t fall asleep again yet, bug, ya need yer breakfast. Ya gotta eat t’ heal and get betta.”

“Okay,” she sighs sadly, slowly opening her eyes and looking back up at me.

“Yer eye ‘s lookin’ betta. Reckon it doesn’t help much without yer glasses tho’,” I snicker and her smile grows an inch. “Skye was gonna bring some contacts o’ yers from home t’day, and see if you could wear them. I bet that’d help loads.”

“Yeah,” she hums in reply. “Are you gonna go home too?” Becks asks gently, a curious sadness hidden behind her words. She’s never been very good at hiding her feelings, let alone lying, and I’ve come to be rather good at reading her.

“For a li’l bit, if that’s okay with you.”

“But I’ll miss you,” she answers, looking away to hide the wetness growing in her eyes, but I catch it at the last second. My thumb finds a holding on her chin, and I turn her head to look back at me.

“I won’t be gone long, bug, and it’ll prolly be later when sumbody else can be here with you. Jus’ wanna go home and grab a few things, and shower so I don’t stink anymo’,” I tell her, willing her to look me in the eyes. To my surprise, she does almost the second the thought trickles into my mind. The sight of her glassy eyes wrenches at my heart, and brushing them away with my finger hardly helps. “And t’ pack a bag so I have clothes and me things t’ keep me set here fer awhile so I don’t hafta leave again fer a while, besides showers. ‘ll hafta see if they have a family room o’ sorts t’ take showers here or sumthin’.”

“Okay,” she says, closing her eyes once again. Another tear leaks from her eye and I catch it as soon as it escapes. “Come back.”

“Always, Becks, y’know that,” I tell her, eliciting a nod into my chest.

“I felt so much better sleeping next to you. Safer.”

“Me too, baby. I wish we could do it ev’ry night, I like havin’ ya tucked away in me arms all safe and sound,” I echo, smoothing back her hair before I plant a kiss to the crown of her head. My special spot. “I love you,” I mouth against her hair, much too afraid to let the sounds free from my lips with all that’s going on and the perhaps fluke from the other night. “So much.”

“Stop,” she giggles against my cheek, and I swear, there’s never been a better song written in the whole universe. I continue to scatter kisses across her face, until my last one finds her nose. “Go home, you smell.”

“Hey!” I protest, finding her happy smile with my own two eyes. A sight in and of itself. “I don’t smell.”

“Yes, you do,” Becks giggles, the sound slowly falling away as my eyes find hers. Within a blink, her lips find mine and press a deep kiss to my own. It couldn’t last long enough and then I’m looking into those eyes that I hope and dream my children get to have, but it’s forgotten when hers flood with tears. “I’ll miss you.”

“‘ll be back inn’a hour, love, no longa than that. I promise,” I insist, holding her cheek in my hand, and saddening at her question of what I’m doing again. “‘m goin’ home t’ take a shower, pack a bag, and grab me car. I won’t be long.”

“Oh yeah, I remember you saying that now. I’m sorry, I can’t remember for shit,” she frowns, eyes growing wetter by the second.

“‘s okay, ‘m here t’ help ya rememba. Are ya sure you’ll be okay with me gone for a li’l bit? Skye, yer dad, and Robbie are here. Try t’ get some rest while ‘m gone, ya need it,” I say, drawing waves back and forth on her cheek and pressing a quick kiss to her lips that I can’t resist.

“I’m fine, Harry. I wanna watch Harry Potter.”

“No, ya need t’ sleep, honeybug. Ya watched tha whole second one with me, that’s two and a half hours, Becks. Ya haven’t slept since ya woke up, and that was five hours ago,” I argue, widening my eyes at her and wishing she’d surrender her stubbornness already. “Stop bein’ stubborn,” I giggle, and it only comes harder when her features fall into her famous pout, one that’s harder to resist given the circumstances. She’s just too bloody cute.

“Fine,” she sighs, blinking hard and soon yawning.

“Told ya yer tired, ya gotta listen t’ me sumtimes, cuz ‘m right.”

“No, you’re not,” she smirks, and I roll my eyes with a snicker.

“See ya soon, brat,” I chuckle as her eyes fall closed, pulling the blankets up past her shoulders and tucking them underneath her. The sight of her white arm cast will never get easier, I suspect, but who said that any part of this has gotten easier on Day Two? “‘ll be back inna hour, my sweet. Get some rest, and ‘ll see if tha nurse will let us have a cuddle when I get back. Sweet dreams, Becks.”

“Bye, Harry. Drive safe,” she drawls, words floating away from her as sleep nears her. “Come back.”

“I will, baby. Always,” I hum against her forehead, leaving one last kiss there. Straightening my back, my thumb remains glued to her cheek, only leaving to wipe away the tear that escapes from my eye. “I love you,” I whisper under my breath, taking the first step away from her.

I’ve always found it hard to walk away from her, but I couldn’t hate it more than I do in this very moment. It’s never frightened me so much to leave her, as it does now, seeing as I know how quickly things can change when one leaves.

“She’ll be okay, I’ll sit with her.”

Turning my head, I lose sight of Becks and find Skye waiting a few steps away with a book tucked into her hands.

“Thanks, keep me updated if erm, anythin’ happens.”

“It won’t, but I will, Harry. It’s okay,” she agrees aloud, but my eyes have already ran away from her and back to Becky. Over my shoulder, I can just make out the sounds of her soft snores outside the door of her room. I already miss her, and I haven’t even left her yet, I think as another tear races down my cheek. This keeps happening, I’ve found, but it doesn’t become any easier to leave. “The first time you’ve left her for more than ten minutes, huh?”

“Ya,” I croak, meeting her eyes through my blurry ones. Nodding at her, I lift my leaden feet to take another step. “Take care o’ her fo’ me.”

Her face is stuck in every place.

Memories flood my insides when I sink onto the cushions, my head in my hands as her laugh from only three days ago fills my ears. I can still feel the touch of her knitted jumper between my fingers from that night, the delicacy of her fingers swiping nailpolish over mine, and the sensation of her hands in my hair and her socked foot trailing up my leg underneath the kitchen table. These thoughts fill my head as I drag myself up the stairs, and although she didn’t venture up here that night, I can’t leave her down there. I remember the night she hauled my drunk ass home, even if it was years ago, and helped me into bed. That’s not even touching all of the nights I stared up at the ceiling, longing to hear her voice, and then the nights where I smiled up at it, knowing I’d hear it tomorrow and every day after that.

They threaten to never leave as my wrinkled suit falls to the floor of my bathroom, the sight feeling peculiar and welcomed all in one. Staring at it with a hazy sight, I toss it into the hamper, thinking of possibly burning it until I remember the first day we had at work together in it. Swallowing, the knot within my throat joins the pity party as the hot stream of water cascades down my body. I remain there under the scalding water, observing it disappear down the drain as it washes away the sadness pouring onto my cheeks.

The tears don’t disappear when wrapped in a towel, I sadly smile at the picture Skye sent of Becky smiling lying in bed.

Here’s a smile for you from Ree! She already misses you …. had a little nightmare again but she was okay and I was there. She’s asleep again now, and time for dinner soon. Take your time Harry, she’s ok xx

An onslaught of them now coat my cheeks - regret, anger, and sadness all balled into one being born inside of me at the thought of her waking up scared without me there. Sniffles and whimpers are all that leave me and fill my surroundings as I lay folded clothes inside of the biggest duffel bag I could find, as many joggers, jumpers, t-shirts, and beanies that I can fit before the zipper won’t zip. Only then, do I remember I need to pack other things. Unpacking a few pairs of socks and shirts, I stuff my bag of shower things into the side, chargers, my laptop Myles dropped off from work, deodorant, cologne, a random book I’d always meant to read, vitamins, random snacks, a favorite blanket from the linen closet, and my steel water bottle. I thread a pillow through its handles, glancing over to my unmade bed, missing the person who woke up in it on Monday morning, unbeknownst to the despair and misery that would soon kidnap his happiness.

Exhaling loudly, I drape the strap over my shoulder and begin my steps back to her. I’m coming back, Becks, like I always said I would.

Her soft sounds bounce around the room while the third Harry Potter hums in the background. Finding the remote on her bedside table, I click it off and drown the room in silence. With full hands, I take quiet steps over to her, a smile having already claimed my lips the moment I parked my car. Peace paints her face and I couldn’t be happier being back with my Becks, not wanting to leave her again, and hopefully not again until all of this shit is over.

Her slow breaths tickle my skin when I bend down to press a kiss to her forehead, welcomed by her vanilla scent. Her snoring continues to paint the air as I walk away briefly.

A soft tap! interrupts the absence when I set down the clear vase, swiftly rearranging the stems below me. I leave the small black box beside it and cross the room, leaving my heavy duffel bag on the floor beside the sofa and out of the way.

“Harry?” a voice rasps from behind me. Turning around, I find her little head of dark hair stirring.

“Shh, go back t’ sleep, bug,” I coo, sliding off my coat that I drape over the sofa.

“Are you back or am I dreaming?”

“‘m back, Becks, jus’ got here,” I answer her gently, making quick work of walking over to arrive at her side. “Hi,” I hum happily, feeling a warm jolt to my heart when a smile curls into her cheeks.

“Hi, Harry,” she giggles, a pink at last finding her cheeks.

“Hi, my love,” I smile, dipping down to carefully surround her with my arms and in the process, covering her with kisses. “I told ya I wouldn’t be gone mo’ than an hour. ‘m sorry ya hadda nightmare without me, I hope yer okay . . Hope ya still got some rest.”

“I’m okay, and I did. I’m glad you’re back, I missed you,” she whispers against my neck, pressing a lazy kiss there.

“I missed ya mo’.”

“No, I missed you more,” she argues, a giggle finishing her words. “Most . . I missed you most.”

“Fine, ‘ll give it t’ ya.”

“Good,” she smiles, resigned with success that I find when I pull away to look at her. Shock finds its way back to me at the once again sight of her bruises and stitches after an hour of forgetting them. “You smell good.”

“Why thank you, I took a shower.”

“You look comfy,” she adds on, taking hold of a string from my maroon Rolling Stones hoodie, toying with it between her fingers. The IV tubing dangling from it still sends jolts across my heart.

“I feel betta now, I can tell ya that.”

“Good,” she coos, playing with the second string now too. I can’t resist any longer and steal a random kiss from her lips, finding her blushing smile afterwards. “Aw, did you get me flowers? They’re purple!”

“‘Course they are, I had t’ get yer favourite color, babe,” I answer proudly, stepping away to grab the tall vase from her bedside table. “Looks like ya got a few mo’ since ‘ve been gone too. Ya sure are loved by many, Becks.”

“They’re beautiful.”

“Jus’ like sumbody I know, I wonder who that could be,” I comment teasingly, returning to her bedside to show her the vase of violet roses. “Honey, don’t cry, ‘s okay.”

“You’re so sweet, thank you,” she blubbers, tears flying from her eyes that she can’t wipe away fast enough. A long ‘aw’ jumps from my lips as I set the vase back down and return her to my arms.

“Yer welcome, anythin’ fo’ me girl. I saw all tha flowers you were gettin’ and figured it took me long enough t’ get ya some.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t have to,” she hiccups into my neck, finding holdings on the back of my jumper where she clings to me.

“Yes, I did, and I wanted t’ . . Reckon I should wait on yer present so ya don’t cry anymo’.”

“A present?!” she whispers excitedly, and my giggle soon finds a friend in hers.

Moving away, I leave her with yet another forehead kiss, wiping surprise tears from my own eyes. I catch the budding ones that fall from her waterline before grabbing the little box beside her flowers. ‘Ooo’s and ‘awww’s fill my ears when I open the box and slide the simple gemstone bracelet onto her wrist.

“I saw it and thought o’ you right away, jus’ like with tha flowers. I hope ya like it, seein’ how ‘s purple and all,” I say, pulling on the two ends of the string to tighten it.

“I love it, Harry,” she croaks, tears catching on her words as she stares down at the shades of lavender, cream, and violet claiming her skin.

“Perfect.” With a chuckle, I find my way into her arms after she tugged on my hoodie strings.

“I betta tie those things up, seein’ you already know how t’ use ‘em. ‘s a bit scary really,” I titter against the top of her head, smoothing back her hair. Profuse ‘thank you’s scatter the air, and I feel a stitch begin to heal my heart, ever so slowly. Her tears aren’t alone as I sniffle above her, my arms wound around her shoulders ever so gently.

“Alright?” she mumbles, and a bittersweet smile joins the party.

“Ya, ‘m alright if yer alright, Becks . . Are you?”

“Yes, I always am if you’re there.”

“Me too, babe, me too,” I hiccup, the tears coming hot and fast now, falling into her hair. Always.

Yawning, voices trickle over as the door to the bathroom shuts behind me. Carding a hand through my hair, I follow the familiar sounds until I’m back by the family room scattered with chairs. Now, blankets, bags, and fast food wrappers claim the tables next to Skye, Robbie, Chuck, Asher, and a tall, blonde woman I don’t recognize.

I’m spotted and soon waved over by Asher, “Hey, how’s she doing? Did she eat all of her dinner?”

“She’s good, restin’ now, and almost all o’ it. Didn’t care fer tha green peas tho’, but I dunno how she can’t like ‘em,” I grin jokingly, but it doesn’t remain as my eyes follow the unfamiliar woman standing beside Robbie. “D’ya know who that ‘s?” I ask him, turning to meet his eyes, but they fall away, only hinting at the danger that’s brewing.

“Hi, I don’t believe we’ve met. You are . . ?” the strange lady says, stepping forward with her arm stretched out. A long brown sweater covers her body clad in black jeans and a frilly blouse. The slope of her button nose and slightly oval face quickly piece together the puzzle pieces for me, and I know. “I’m Becky’s mum, Kate. Are you her boyfriend, or something?” she laughs jokingly.

“Ya, I am actually,” I answer coolly, hesitantly shaking her hand while struggling to make eye contact with the very person I’ve heard so many awful things about. Yet, I can see Becks in her, perhaps only hints of her, but I see them. “‘Scuse me,” I mumble, stepping away and with pounding steps, I find Skye perusing the magazines on the shelf against the wall.

“I need t’ talk t’ you,” I tell her flatly, stopping at her side.

“What do you want, Cosmo, Bon Appetit, GQ, Rolling Sto-,” she jokes, flipping her faded blue hair over her shoulder, brunette roots bleeding into the off white.

“No, I don’t want a bloody magazine. What tha fook were you thinkin’ tellin’ Becky’s mum t’ come here?” the question explodes off my lips, and I find it a feat to keep the words between the two of us. Her eyebrows near her hairline and she forgets the magazines, turning to face me.

Arms crossed over her chest clad in a 90’s Rugrats jumper, her features fall into a crouch as I wait for words to leave her, “Ree said that she could come, we asked her.”

“What tha fook ‘s wrong with you lot, askin’ her ‘bout that while I was gone?!” I retort, a hand escaping my pocket to help me do the talking.

“She’s not just yours, Harry, you know that?” she spits back, shaking her head in disbelief, it seems.

“No shit, Sherlock, but how in tha hell did ya think that was a good idea? Huh, where were you when her mum exploded on her all o’ those times at work, callin’ me bloody office t’ speak with her ‘cuz she was ignorin’ her phone, or jus’ a few weeks ago, huh?” I ask adamantly, searching for the answer in her cold blue eyes.

“No, I wasn’t there, but I was there for almost every other time, Harry. I was there comforting her after every row all throughout primary, secondary, and then on. She’s my best friend too, Harry, so don’t you even talk to me about being there for her, because you can’t fucking talk,” Skye retaliates, the words hitting me in the gut, but my mission propels me forward.

“That’s not tha fookin’ point, you should bloody know afta bein’ here tha last two days that she’s nowhere near ready t’ see her mum, Skye. She was inna bloody car wreck - she has a concussion, had emergency surgery, and ‘s on a handful o’ drugs that keep her from thinkin’ straight. Befo’ I left, I told her where I was goin’ and not even two minutes later, she couldn’t rememba what ‘d said. She’s not in her right mind, Skye, so how d’ya think it was okay t’ bloody ask her if her abusive mother could come t’ visit? Yer s’posed t’ be on her side, Skye, on Becks’ side,” I snap, and the fire still resides in my chest when I turn away to stomp down the hall.

I wish I knew how to fix this, because I know that I’ll have to be the one who has to. I wish so fucking badly that I knew how to fix Becks, and I don’t, and I’m all the further away now.

Crack.

I feel it inside of my ribs when I stop in her doorway, finding her eyes pointed towards the small flatscreen mounted to the wall. My throat becomes a sister to the Sahara rather quickly, and I can’t blink away the tears fast enough, because she notices me within moments. Under the spell of prescription drugs and painkillers, and she still has that feeling of hers down pat.

“Hi, honeybug,” I rasp, failing to swallow my pain and all of the words that I’m hurting to say.

“Where’d that nickname come from?” she grins, forgetting the Marvel movie on the television.

“I dunno, ‘cuz yer my bug and yer so goddamn sweet,” I explain to her, sitting down on the patch of unclaimed bed beside her.

“Alright?” she questions, dark eyebrows falling into a line. I can’t find the words and my name falls from her mouth next. I’m sure that if I looked at her heart rate monitor, it would have picked up by now due to concern.

“No,” I finally mutter, freeing my bottom lip that had become trapped between my teeth. Kneading my prickly chin with my thumb and forefinger, I have to look away from the worry harming her face. A warm tear begins a waterfall on mine, and to my surprise, she wicks it away with her thumb.

“Tell me,” she says coolly, cradling my cheek in her hands. Yet, it doesn’t make it any easier to say the next few words I know that I need to speak. Bittersweetness coats my tongue as she holds me in her hands and roots me there to the spot with those azul eyes that fill my dreams.

“Yer mum’s here,” I confess softly, forcing the words until they come tumbling out.

The shock and misery that debilitate her features at my words is next to nothing when we both hear the words that enter the room, “Hi, bunny.” I don’t need to turn around, because Becky’s face tells me all that I need to know, that her mum is already here.

“No,” Becks mutters, eyes glassy with an army of tears. Her head shakes quickly from side to side, and her hand falls from my face to clutch mine with dear life. “Harry, please no.”

“‘m so sorry, bug, it wasn’t me. I promise, I promise,” I confess tearfully, leaving her side to stand. If I had wanted to take another step, she wouldn’t let me, because my hand begins to hurt from how hard she’s holding onto it.

“Hi, Becky, it’s mum.”

“No, no, no, no,” Becky exclaims before me, emotions flying from her blues that beg at mine, sobs shaking her chest.

“Please leave, she d-doesn’t want you here,” I plead, lifting my head to find her mother walking around her bed to the other side.

“Excuse me? She’s my daughter, I-,” she begins, but Becky’s onslaught of ‘no’s pierce the air, threatening to never leave. My other hand comes to cover our joined pair, massaging circles into her skin where the IV doesn’t live.

“She doesn’t want you here, can’t you see that?!” I exclaim, stepping forward and closer to Becks, unsure of what more I can do. The only thing I can think of is to grab her by the shoulders and make her leave, but more than one reason refutes that, including the fact that Becks won’t let me leave.

“She’s upset and tired, she doesn’t know what she wants,” she, whatever her name is again, contends with emotion twisting her features into confusion. Swiftly, the hints of Becky are gone in her and the fear she finds in her mother’s face is shared with me and with those darkening eyes. “She is my daughter and I can-.”

“Harry, make her leave, please!” Becks shouts below me, head going from side to side in denial, and sobs stabbing at my ears.

“What’s going on here?” another voice demands, and already two days in, I know that it’s the day nurse, Shannon. Words flee her mother and I, while Becky’s insistent ‘no’s surround us. “Who are you?”

“I’m her mother, I’m here to see my daughter, Becky,” she insists from across me, reaching out a hand to touch Becks that she shrinks away from. Another crack resounds in my chest at the sound of her sobs growing louder.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to leave, you’re upsetting her too much,” Shannon announces emphatically, mentioning something about Becky’s vitals rising, only now drawing my eyes to the neon numbers. I wouldn’t have noticed it, although I try to tell myself that I would have eventually, but she’s right. Becky’s pulse is well over one-hundred, and her blood pressure is reaching dangerous numbers, and my heart picks up speed behind my ribs. I’m rather sure if I was hooked up to one of those, they wouldn’t look too good, either, with what’s going on. “Please leave before I call security.”

Relief doesn’t find me for several minutes, and it takes twice as long to arrive for Becks who still whimpers below me, the tears nowhere near stopping. The ones waiting in my dugout finally answer their call when the nurse mentions giving her something to calm down.

“No, I got it, jus’ gimme a few minutes. I can get her t’ calm down,” I insist tearfully, swallowing against a desert while rainfall covers my cheeks, and hers. “Hey, ‘s okay, baby, ‘s okay. Deep breaths, ‘kay?” I coo to Becky, but I’m well aware of the lack of conviction in my voice.

“Is she gone?” she cries and I nod quickly.

“She’s gone, bug, and ‘ll make sure she won’t come back, I promise. You don’t hafta worry.”

“I don’t wanna see her,” Becks confesses with a hiccup. Lifting my hand from our intertwined pair, I comb back her dark waves that nudge at her eyes.

“I know, Becks, I know. She’s gone,” I hum, catching her tears with the slick pad of my thumb before going back to stroking her hair.

“Why was she . . ?”

“I dunno, bug, there was a misunderstandin’,” I answer her, unsure of my words and every single thing that I do. I’m unsure if it helps, but I know that there’s nothing I’d rather be doing in this moment. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, even in my ignorant dreams.

“It wasn’t you, I know you wouldn’t,” she cries, shaky breaths escaping her lips when I ask her to take deep breaths with me.

“No, ‘d neva invite her, Becks. I dunno her name even.”

“Thank you,” she says with a hard gulp, with no allusion to what for, but I know. The hair stroking isn’t making a difference, because the tears are still coming at a record speed and I’m lost for words, and everything else too.

“Will you cuddle me, p-please? Feels like I c-can’t breathe,” she almost wails, her pained face dissolving with the words that she speaks.

“‘Course, bug, ‘m so sorry . . Keep takin’ deep breaths, I know you can do it, baby. ‘m right here . . in and out, that’s it. Keep goin’,” I tell her, toeing off my Vans that I wore for her whilst picking the oxygen cannula back up to thread into her nose. “Scooch over, Becks, don’t wanna hurt ya.”

A few more tendrils of relief find their way to me when she’s back in my arms, and I couldn’t care less what the nurse has to say, because nothing could feel more right than this. I’m only confirmed of that when she wiggles her way into my arms almost immediately and her head finds my chest, the tears soon wetting the fabric.

“Can you sing it to me?” Becks requests and an instant confirmation fills the air.

“Wise men say only fools rush in,” I begin, my fingers dancing through her hair and my lips leaving kiss after kiss atop her head. With my mouth ghosting over her hair, my eyes wander to the heart rate monitor. As the song paints the air around us, I watch as the numbers slowly start to fall while her crying quiets.

Only moments after finishing the last line of the song and for the second time, do her snores fall against my chest, and can I finally breathe. I lie there, counting the freckles scattered across her creamy white skin and wait for the tears to at last leave my eyes. Carefully, I move my body away from hers and lay her head down on the pillow, lastly draping the blankets over her sleeping body.

“‘ll be right back, I gotta go and keep me promise,” I whisper against her cheek, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear naked of earrings. My footsteps only begin after pressing a kiss to her cheek, assuring myself I’ll be back within moments to give her another.

The nurse shoots me a quick smile on my way out as I make quick work of the tears, and silent words pass between us albeit for the quiet ‘thank you’ and ‘good job’ she rewards me with.

“You might be my favourite, even though you’re not supposed to be getting into that bed with her,” she grins, her ponytail bobbing as she shakes her head at me jokingly. “You lot sure have a connection, so don’t be going anywhere for too long, she might miss you too much.”

“Thanks, I won’t be gone long. I uh, jus’ gotta go make sure o’ sumthin’.”

“That mum of hers, I hope?” she wonders aloud, turning her body towards me ever so slightly in her olive green scrubs.

A nod of mine answers her words and her ‘good luck’ rings in my ears as I walk away, glancing over my shoulder one last time at Becks, searching for a strength that I need. She’s never disappointed me when I look for it in her, whether it was years ago when she pulled me out of my shell, helped me through my granddad’s death, or just the other night when I found my way back to her and never left. This isn’t one of those dire times, but I know that she needs me to do this for her, no matter the absence of her question.

I’m uncertain if I’m surprised to see the strange figure standing in the family room, or the tension already electric in the air when I arrive. It only worsens when a few of them turn around to look at me, and the blame falls away instantly when Chuck and Robbie’s faces plummet at the sight of mine. It all wads into a ball and is thrown at her when the anger builds on hers.

“You need t’ leave,” I announce, a sniffle worming its way into my words. I couldn’t care less about the sight of my red-rimmed eyes or the tears that fall from them now. All I hope is that my many years in law will pay off for this argument that I so desperately need to win. “It wasn’t a good idea t’ come, she doesn’t want you here. I think that’s rather obvious from what jus’ happened.”

Her features crease into that of a bulldog, ready to pounce, but I was ready for this before I even stepped foot in this room. “What do you know, being her new boyfriend and all? You hardly even know her, I reckon . . She’s my daughter and she almost died,” she insists with a spiteful grin sticking to her lips.

“What’s that matta? Ya weren’t there fer her when she was alive, so why’d ya come now?” I spit out, and am instantly rewarded with the image of the words slapping her in the face. “I do know what’s bloody best fo’ her, and what’s best fo’ her right now ‘s fer you t’ leave and not come back. She doesn’t want you here, I dunno how many times I gotta fookin’ say it. She’s been thru’ hell and back, and ‘s tryna figure out what tha bloody hell this new life ‘s and how t’ function again whilst bein’ on several meds and stuck inna hospital bed. Let her bloody rest so she can get betta and heal, if ya even care ‘bout her ya’d leave her be t’ get betta,” I sigh, turning on my heel to place my back to them. Her fiery gaze beats against my neck as I let the tears fall, not bothering to clean them up, because I can only deal with one mess at a time.

“Who the fuck was that, and who does he think he is?” she retorts, seemingly more to herself and those around her than to myself, her voice only a ghost now.

“That’s Harry,” Chuck answers, something shining through in his voice that I can’t quite decipher.

“Harry? You mean her boss, Harry?” Kate responds, taken aback.

“No, right now that’s Harry. Her best friend and boyfriend, Harry,” he tells her, and I think I hear it finally, just rounding the corner. It accompanies the chuckle that floats down the hallway after me.

It’s pride.

The very same feeling glues itself to me as I take long steps back to her, thoroughly aware of how much better it feels to come back to her than it is to leave her. Even in her sleep, she seems to retain that feeling of hers amidst all of the drugs, because when I sit down next to her, I watch those pretty eyes open.

“Harry.”

“Hi, honeybug. Go back t’ sleep, everything’s okay, yer mum’s gone,” I tell her, cradling her cheek in my hand, because I’m sure that if my words somehow hadn’t done it, that Chuck will make sure of her exit.

“Okay,” she sighs softly, her eyelids fluttering closed. I lean over her and press whispers of kisses to her eyelids, leading me to find that dimple like a ghost in her left cheek. “Harry?”

“What ‘s it, bug? Ya need yer rest, ‘s almost bedtime,” I hum, settling back onto the chair. My eyes fall from her when a warmth finds my hand now, and I smile at the appearance of her hand lacing with mine.

“I love you,” she whispers, and everything stills around me, and inside of me. My head snaps up and over to her calm exterior that soon blurs in front of me as a breathy laugh coats my lips.

“I love you too, Becks,” I return quickly, tears adorning my words and leaving them to break in the air.

The dimple remains alive in her cheek when her eyes creak open and meet mine briefly before I steal a kiss from her lips. So, it wasn’t a fluke the other night, afterall. Hmm.

“Get some sleep, ‘ll be here when ya wake up,” I coo against her hair, cradling her head with my hand.

“You too,” she yawns, closing her eyes and wiggling around in the bed, and I swear that I couldn’t have seen something more beautiful in all of my days. She just keeps surprising me though, and making me wonder how she could ever become more gorgeous, or more importantly, how I could ever come to love her more.

I know that tomorrow she’ll change that, and the day after that, and after that, when my heart will grow another size to love her a little bit more.

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dreamyjoons · 5 years

Text

cut me loose // jjk

Synopsis: you always ended up here. Sitting in the passenger’s seat of Jungkook’s car, the city passes you by. Your heart gets heavier with each drive you take together - and it can’t go on forever.

Warnings: angst, unrequited (?) love, car sex (use protecc!), some swearing

Words: 3.6k

A/N: hey gang. This is inspired by STUCKINMYBRAIN by Chase Atlantic (another song inspo laid ease). The ending is what you make of it - I’m pretty sure it’s where I wanted it to go. Please let me know what you think! Enjoy 🧡

[Kook 1:17AM]

i’ll be outside in 2

You sigh as you open the message. You were already waiting.

You’d been outside for about ten minutes, but you knew he would turn up. He always did.

This had become a habit of late. You, awake until the small hours of the morning, Jungkook wanting someone with him to keep his mind at bay.

To say you didn’t enjoy it was a lie. But what it meant for you, it didn’t mean for him. You were sure of it.

His car turned into your complex car park, the black exterior seamlessly fading into the night. It pulls to a stop in front of you, and you wordlessly walk around the car and get in.

Jungkook sits there in black sweats and a blacker hoodie. His hood was pulled up over his chestnut hair, and his eyes were fixed on the tarmac ahead. You ignore the pound that echoes in your chest as you looked at him.

“Hey Kook.” You say, voice barely above a whisper.

“Hey Y/N.” His voice is gravelly from lack of use, and you sigh, putting on your belt as the car begins to move.

He peels out of the parking lot, his hand gliding over the wheel as he drives you through the city.

There’s not usually a destination. Sometimes you’ll stop at a place. But recently, Jungkook just wants to drive until he’s too tired to think.

The silence stretches in the car, but it’s not awkward. It was just you and Jungkook. And it was often how you both liked it.

Neon signs streak by as the districts change, spots of rain bouncing off the windshield as you stare out of the window. You roll it down slightly, letting the cool night air wash over your burning face.

You and Jungkook weren’t best friends or anything. You were close enough, that was true, but you both had an effect on each other that was undeniable. The trouble was, you both see different things in each other.

To Jungkook, you were a calming force, your company let him breathe when everything is threatened to suffocate him.

To you, he was everything.

It was why you still got in the car with him.

You know what’s gotten to him this time. The most recent girl he was seeing had left him. She was just another girl who seemed to be able to hold his heart in the palm of her hand. It happened every month or so.

This was his fourth week moping. You knew there’d be another girl before the week was over. You’d see him less after that.

You glance over at him whilst the world outside goes past. His lip is drawn in between his teeth, and you can almost hear the thoughts racing around in his head.

“Do you wanna talk about it, Kook?” You ask quietly, eyes searching his face for the slightest flicker of his true feelings.

You want to help - truthfully, you do. But talking about other girls that steer him away from you? It was self-inflicted torture.

“Not really.” He sighs, and you don’t pursue it. You know not to. You don’t want to push him away.

You drag your gaze back out the window as darkened houses and flats fly past. There seemed to be no one awake in the city except for you and him. You hope that was true. There seemed to be a kind of poetry to that.

The night was only ever going to go one of two ways.

The first was what normally happened. You’d drive, say little and just be. Jungkook would lap the city. The routes always changed, and you didn’t mind. You’d always get home, and you got to be alone with him.

The second was rarer. But when he was at his biggest lull, or feeling his loneliest, you’d head to one spot outside of the city. You don’t know if it is your favourite place or one that you dreaded to see.

But as Jungkook made the turning to leave the flickering neon of the city, you knew what was to become of the night.

You run a hand through your hair as the buildings outside fade into trees and little else, ignoring the knot that was pitting itself in your stomach.

When Jungkook took that turn, the atmosphere in the car changed. You could feel the tension creeping along your arms and down your neck. His hands flex on the wheel, his eyes firmly planted on the road, but his jaw is clenched.

Your eyes watch his hands, focusing on the way they navigate the wheel. You didn’t want to get stuck in your brain.

Because if you think about it, you shouldn’t be here. In the car, out of the city. With Jungkook. In your head, you knew that this was never going to end up where you want it to. It was time to start letting him go.

But your heart was a traitor, and your body was a bigger traitor still.

The car hits gravel and soon enough you were jostling uphill, the car making a speedy ascent up. It only takes a few minutes to reach that confusing spot in the world that seemed to have your heart in a chokehold.

Jungkook rolls the car to a stop in a spot the overlooks the city below, the streetlights twinkling like a distant constellation. The darkened sky held a faint glow of light, the moon making its way to the other side of the planet while it waited for the sun to show.

The car’s engine was shut off, and you both sit as the outside world slowly filled more of your senses.

Jungkook’s hand finds its way onto your knee, and you feel your heart seize from the heat that it radiates. He moves it up towards where you hand sits on your lap and laces his fingers with yours. Your heart almost hammers out of your chest as you look at him.

His head falls back slightly, his hair falling out of his face at the motion, the column of his neck barely visible beneath his hood. Your eyes flicker over his skin, avoiding the deep eyes you know were fixed on you. He was deliciously imperfect perfection, and you craved him under your fingertips. He tugs your hand, pulling you over to him.

There it was. Going to where these kind of nights always ended. And you were never going to change it.

You unbuckle your belt and climb over the centre console to straddle his lap, your face hovering inches above his. Your fingers stayed entwined. You weren’t going to let him go first, that was certain.

You looked into his dark eyes, and brought your free hand up to push back his hood, moving it back to settle at the nape of his neck and run his silken strands lightly through your fingers.

“Y/N.” He whispers as his eyes flutter closed. It makes your heart ache, knowing that he only ever says your name this softly when he’s underneath you.

You take this chance to examine the man below you. Your eyes flicker over his flawless skin, the ways his pink, plush lips are parted. The small freckle that sits just below his bottom lip draws your eyes, before they make their way up to his - to see him watching you. Your breath catches in your throat.

This always feels like it’s more than what it is. You feel like you both move distances together. But it’s like he runs. You’re both hanging over the edge of something bigger than yourselves, but he doesn’t want to take the leap with you. Instead he’ll bury himself into the lap of some other girl, and you’re left to stare into the abyss alone.

His hand drops yours to snake around you, reaching over your shorts to pull you closer. You let him move you, your bodies and foreheads touching as anticipation creeps through every nerve in your body.

Slowly, tantalisingly slow, he closes the distance between your lips before crashing onto yours, bringing a whine to bubble in your throat. His lips move against yours, taking command as he finds a better angle to miss you deeply.

He always loves kissing. Initially you thought he’d find it too intimate, but you can never keep him away. But only when your first begin - he always stops kissing when it gets too heavy for him. He barely breaks for air as his tongue passes your bottom lip, and you part, letting his tongue take control.

Some days he was the one in charge, taking what he needs from you - which is what you expected from your ‘arrangement’. But there are other days when all he wants to do is give. Those are some of your favourite days. The ones where you feel like it’s the two of you together.

You run your fingers through his hair, tugging slightly on the strands and eliciting moans that rumble from his chest.

Jungkook breaks apart the kiss to peck down your neck, pausing to suck bruising marks onto your skin. Your head falls back to allow him better access, feeling his fingers rub circles into your hips.

You begin to grind down on his lap, and he breaks off his kisses to groan by your ear, his fingers digging into your skin. You smile into his hair, loving that your can ruin him so easily.

Spurred on by your movements, he runs his hands up under your t-shirt, pulling it off you and unclipping your bra with ease. You sit bare in front of him, watching as he eyes your torso hungrily. You never get tired of the looks he gives you - that you’re the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s a heavenly feeling, even though you know this is as far as that goes.

He lurches forward to take a nipple into his mouth, licking around the bud gently before sucking hard, making a whimper fall from your lips.

Your fingers knot in his hair and pulls, causing a groan to fall from him. In retaliation, he bites gently on your nipple and you gasp, but he runs a soothing tongue back over and you nearly see stars. He moves to give the other nipple the same attention whilst he moves a hand to start undoing your shorts.

He pulls his mouth off you and you sit up awkwardly, pulling your shorts and wiggling them down until they hit the floor of the car. Jungkook takes the chance to slide down his pants and boxers together, and you bite your lip as you look at his fully hard length. You sit back on his lap with butterflies in your stomach.

You reach in between the space between you and take a firm grip on his cock, and he whimpers. You smirk, kissing him hard as your hands begin to slowly gather the wetness on the tip of him and spread it down over him. When he’s covered enough, you pump him slowly. He stops your kiss to pant at the contact, so you kiss down his neck, around his little hoop earrings and down towards his collarbone and back.

One of his hands slips from your hip to run across your panty-covered slit, making your breath hitch. His eyes open then, his heavy-lidded ones meeting your semi-closed ones.

The looks you always share are electric - he knows it. And it scares him. No one makes him stutter quite like you.

His hands slip under the fabric, and you see his eyes widen at how wet you are under his touch. You smile, and put an extra squeeze on his cock that makes his hips jump into you.

A smile cracks onto his face - his eyes scrunch up and his little bunny teeth show, and it hits you like a damn train.

Whenever you and Jungkook go on your night drives, there’s often very few words, and even less smiling. But sometimes when you’re out with other people, he cracks a smile to you, and you can feel the world fall away. His smile is addictive, and you’d get attached for life. You want to.

You smile back at him, bringing a hand to cup his cheek and stroke your thumb across his cheekbone. He surges forward to kiss you, and your eyes slam shut, breathing him in.

You realise your hands had stopped, and you begin rubbing him a little faster as he deepens your kiss. His fingers continue to slide across your slit, gathering your wetness before he presses his fingers into your clit and starts to rub circles into you. You gasp into the kiss, and you can feel his smile as he kisses you.

It becomes a sort of competition then, trying to make each other feel good and catch each other off guard. And you were both competitive.

He slides his fingers from your clit and slowly begins to push a finger into you, and you pull away from his kiss you let your head rock back as he slides inside. He pumps the finger inside of you whilst his thumb toys over your clit.

To fight back, you move the hand from his face and hold it in front of your mouth and spit on it, maintaining eye contact before moving to take his cock in both of your hands. His eyes are blown wide as you use one hand to pump his base whilst the other twists about his tip. He busks his hips wildly, and you grin.

He slides another finger into you, fucking into you relentlessly and you surge forward to kiss him, determined not to whine. His fingers felt so good, you could feel your walls clenching down on them as you soaked his fingers with how wet you were.

You both work your hands on each other, you kisses becoming a mess of pants and gasps. You move to press your foreheads together, your hands working him higher as he makes a symphony of noises that attack both your heart and your dripping core.

Soon Jungkook moves his fingers out of you and brings your hands to a stop on him. Fucked out and slightly upset at being stopped before you could cum, you sit back and open your eyes to see what a mess he was. You smile - you won.

“Need to be inside you, Y/N.” He nearly whimpers, and you nod enthusiastically.

You both didn’t bother with a condom - you had the implant, and he told you he was clean. You trusted him - you knew he would never hurt you in that way . The skin on skin made everything feel so intimate it makes your head spin.

You move a steadying hand to his shoulder, whilst the other takes hold of him and lines him up with you. He holds aside your panties as you run him across your wetness; his free hand flies to your hip and digs his nails into your soft skin.

You smile before you languidly start to push him in. You move painfully slowly as you take him, and you can see his eyes swim. Your eyes flutter shut until you finally bottom out inside of him, you both sitting deathly still as you get used to the sensation. You open your eyes to meet his, and with a quick smile, you begin to move.

You ride him slowly, letting the sensation grow until he can’t take anymore and begins to buck into you, picking up speed. Your head falls to the crook of his neck as you meet each other’s rhythm, a hand snaking to sift through his hair.

You clench down on him and he groans in your ear, bucking harder until he hits that spot just inside you that makes you see white.

“Fuck, Kook. Right there.” You breath into his ear, and you feel him shiver beneath you.

He picks up his pace, hitting relentlessly inside you and all you can do is hold on. You pull back and look at him, his mouth agape and his hair sticking to his sweaty forehead. He looked divine, and you felt a pang in your heart - you wanted all of him to yourself.

His eyes flew open and met yours, a hint of softness hiding there before the blown out desire. His hand slides down to your clit and you throw your head back and whine, a small tear trickling into your hairline. You wanted him so bad.

He circles your clit and you know it would end soon. Your body is on fire as he fucks long, hard strokes into you.

“Kook, I'm so close.” You whine, your head snapping up.

You can tell that he is too - his breathing is chaotic and his thrusts are stuttering. He hits your spot inside one last time and you’re whining.

“Jungk-“

You’re cut off as he surges forward and kisses you, and you both reach your orgasms together, moaning into your kiss. You clamp down on him, riding your high. He cums inside of you, his heat washing across your walls as you both slow to a stop.

He softens inside of you as you kiss slow, his soft movements and head tilts twisting a knife in your heart. You break the kiss this time, pulling back to look at him, stunned.

He never kisses at the end. You always came with your face in his neck or sometimes with your foreheads together. But never kissing. He never wanted that.

Jungkook looks equally shocked. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open slightly.

“Y/N...” he mouths dumbly.

You were internally screaming to get out, but that wasn’t an option out here. Instead you let him slip out of you and put tight your panties before getting off him. You ignore the ache in your knees as you sit back in the passenger seat, picking up your clothes and redressing yourself.

You finish dressing by the time Jungkook finally started moving. He shuffles his pants back up and turns the car on, rolling his window down fully and throwing the car into reverse.

The atmosphere as he drove changed. Where it used to be a comfortable silence, now it was suffocating.

Your fingers idly traced your lips as you looked at him out of the corner of your eye. He’d pulled his hood back up and his hands were gripped so tightly on the wheel that his knuckles were turning white. You reach the city limits in no time, Jungkook speeding through the districts.

You knew that this was it. Something had changed, and you feared that things were never going to be comfortable again. You weren’t far from your house, and you knew it was now or never.

“You know what, screw it.” You mutter, and Jungkook jumps.

He flickered his eyes over to you. You spin in your seat to face him, taking a deep steadying breath as you took in the confusion on his face.

“I like you, Kook. I have for a while. And I know you feel something for me. I don’t know what it is, but you can’t hide from me, not anymore. Not after that.” His mouth dropped as his eyes flickered from the road to you. You took that as a form of confirmation and continue, ignoring the burning on your cheeks.

“I can’t sit by and watch you distract yourself in some other girl any more. So my cards are on the table. You know where I’ll be if you want me. But if not, I can’t see you anymore, Kook. This has ruined me.” You choke out. You can feel your eyes start to water, and you wipe furiously at them.

He still doesn’t say anything, and you can’t stand the choking silence any more.

“Pull over, Jungkook.” You whisper. He complies immediately, and the car hasn’t fully stopped before you're jumping out.

You look at his wide eyes and stammering mouth, and you know that this is his moment. If he wants you, now is the time he has to make you know.

“I…” he starts, but he stops himself. You feel your heart shatter in your chest.

“It was nice knowing you, Kook. I hope you find happiness in everything you could ever want.” You smile bitterly before slamming his door and starting the walk back to your apartment.

His car flies past as you walk, and you watch him speed off with your heart in your throat. You finally let your tears fall, choking sobs echoing through your ribcage as your feet hit the pavement.

You had always known it was going to end like this. But you didn’t think you’d get to be so close to having something with him. You knew he had felt something for you. Tonight something had felt so different, it was palpable. You knew in your soul that you were right. You were always treated differently to the others - but you guess it just wasn’t what you thought.

The night air chills you the bone, but you embrace it. You needed to feel something over than the devastation that seeped through your skin.

You finally reach your apartment, the parking lot empty. Holding back a heaving sob, you fish out your keys from your pocket and begin unlocking the foyer door. You get in and shut it, dragging your weary body to the staircase. But you can’t bring yourself to make the numbing climb, so you instead sit on the stairs for a few minutes and let the tears fall freely.

Your phone dings in your pocket, and you absently pull it out, watery eyes widening.

[Kook 3:57AM]

please come outside Y/N

Your head snaps up to see Jungkook standing outside, his hood down as he stands in front of his car, his phone lit in his hand.

[Kook 3:58AM]

i think i know what i want

#bts fic #bts reader insert #bts x reader #bts x you #bts smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts angst #my writing

1K notes · View notes

sledgefuweek · 4 years

Text

Hi everyone! As we mentioned a couple days ago, Lea and I thought it’d be helpful for everyone if we made an informational post about the prompts for Sledgefu Week, just in case people were either confused about the prompt itself or maybe looking for some inspo!

Here is the AU prompt list: I’ll pop it under a read-more just to save your dashboards, but do go ahead and check it out! And as always, any questions or comments you may have, our inbox is always open :~)

PIRATE AU

Pretty self-explanatory, and a really popular suggestion on the google form that came before the poll, so I’ll assume most of you have a pretty good idea of what makes a pirate AU! This is a fun prompt to pair up with other ‘ocean’ themed prompts, I’m thinking of sirens, mermaids, sea monsters, however many tentacles you want to introduce into this thing. I think Pirate AU can encompass all of those, plus all the various different degrees of piracy that can be had, ranging from the big bad Captain Hook style of piracy down to something a little more Treasure Planet... the AU doesn’t stipulate anywhere that it has to be on land/water after all ;~) My favourite childhood pirates were the sky pirates from the Edge Chronicles series! Really, the only limit with this prompt is your own imagination, feel free to push the envelope!

SOUTHERN GOTHIC

This is one that I’ve seen a few people be curious about, and honestly as was I! Maybe if you’re American you may have a better understanding of what makes a Southern Gothic story different from a conventional (European) Gothic novel, but I know a lot of people here aren’t American, including myself and Lea, so! I did a little research (but if any of this doesn’t quite ring true to what Southern Gothic is, don’t hesitate to correct me! There’s only so much the internet can tell me haha). It’s my understanding that where Euro Gothic is more heavily rooted in the fantastic, Southern Gothic tends towards magical realism instead. It’s more heavily entrenched into the culture of the South than Euro Gothic is necessarily about European culture. Its essentially preoccupied with examining the values of the American south, so it’s important to exercise some sensitivity and care with some of the themes which can come up when looking at the history of the south; namely racism, and slavery -- for obvious reasons. There are plenty other ways to approach Southern Gothic without making comment on these aspects of the genre if you aren’t appropriately knowledgeable about them... the genre stems from European Gothic after all, which means that although it is focused on the south, it is also characterised by explorations of madness, fear of the outside world, decay and despair, the impact of the past on the present, and events stemming from or relating to poverty, crime, alienation, or violence. It has an absolute wealth of generic characteristics that, once combined with the magical realism that is unique to Southern Gothic, can be really fun to play with. Think Wuthering Heights, you know?

VAMPIRE AU

Another pretty classic one, and an AU that I think warrants very little explanation. I think the fun in Vampire AUs is in making it new -- there are SO many various vampire stories out there, what do you want to do with yours? Draw from popular culture, draw from history, draw from your own imagination... just as with the pirate AU, there’s really no limit to where you can take this prompt. Imagine the impact of an all-vampire company in a canonverse story! Or how would a newly-turned vampire navigate his new condition in the modern world? Plus, the whole immortality thing really lends itself to some great slow burn opportunities here. Or, hey, Twilight AU?

PARANORMAL AU

Okay, so: I know now that this looks similar to our Supernatural AU from last year, at a glance. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like they’re two very distinct prompts! It’s always been my understanding that supernatural is monsters: werewolves, witches, etc. whereas paranormal means ghosts, and aliens? Either way, if you already have an idea planned for this that tends towards the werewolf rather than the ghost, don’t worry about it. However this is the time where the angst can come in... I feel like The Pacific is kind of a perfect piece of source material to base a ghostfic on -- not to be morbid but well, you know. And of course, it isn’t limited to one of the characters being a ghost -- as I said, my understanding of ‘paranormal’ always encompassed ghosts, but also aliens, and cryptozoology. Now, wouldn’t Eugene being so interested in birds translate nicely into cryptozoology? Wouldn’t Snafu, being the paranoid legend that he is, quite possibly be into weird internet forums about aliens? You can interpret the prompt as loosely or as closely as you like :~)

COFFEE SHOP AU

I feel like I don’t need to explain this. Do I? Are coffee shop AUs still as popular as they used to be? The real challenge of a coffee shop AU is actually this: how will you make the employee of the coffee shop feel anything less than distain for the customer that is the would-be love interest? Fellow customer service workers know exactly what I mean. (But for real, this can be a fun prompt despite how oftentimes overworked it can seem, and that’s because it leaves a lot of room for creativity. Is your character a poet doing a reading at a local coffee house, catching the eye of the person in the audience? Are they a musician, a stressed-out student, a caffeine-hater who is gritting their teeth after every sip just for a chance to speak to the cute barista? There’s tons of options, and I’m excited to see where people go with it.)

GHIBLI AU

So this is quite simply an opportunity to write an AU for any Ghibli movie of your choice! It’s actually my prompt (I was super happy to see it make it up there in the polls!) so I can explain why it’s nice and vague :~) I didn’t like the thought of having to limit every single person who wanted to contribute to the ship week to a specific AU for a specific Ghibli movie: they have such a huge catalogue of movies, and everyone seems to have their own particular favourite! So basically, you have the freedom to pick from any movie made by Ghibli to turn into an AU here. And these AUs can be as close to the source or as far away from it as you like. Want to write Gene and Snaf as background characters ordering bread from Kiki? You got it. Want to have them fighting in the war that features in Howl’s Moving Castle? Your mind. It’s completely up to you! And if you’re not familiar with Ghibli movies, you’re gonna have a great time if you do decide to watch a couple :~) They’re all on Netflix in the UK, but can’t speak for other countries sadly.

ENEMIES TO LOVERS

A time-honoured classic. Who hasn’t read an enemies to lovers AU? If you haven’t, and you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it’s pretty self explanatory! It’s pretty much about two characters who have an oftentimes very long history of conflict with each other, (though the ‘long’ part doesn’t really matter much) that eventually resolves into, well, love! The enemy relationship gets swapped for a romantic relationship. I always associate this prompt with slow burn fic too -- it’s always so good if it’s a gradual descent into affection. Now, this is a very broad prompt, which means it can be applied really nicely on top of other AUs! Just glancing at the list here, you wanna write a centuries long Vampire AU where they start out enemies and become lovers? Go for it!! It’s easily one that can be made unique and really fun by applying it to other AUs if you want to. I always think of Spy AUs or things within that genre too!

MYTH AU

This is another pretty broad one that I think covers a lot of bases, simply because there are SO many myths out there lol. If your culture has specific myths, this’d be a really nice time to get creative with them and also let people learn a little more about myths they might not know! There’s also obviously a ton of myths centralised around the American south so that would be fitting for both characters, but don’t be afraid to branch out! Really, you can apply this to any kind of folklore you want, and it’d be perfect! Obviously Greek myths are super popular and always cool too -- imagine an Achilles/Patroclus AU! But I think what makes this prompt really nice is tha it leaves you some room to actually have a go at making your own mythic tale up. So fall back on the real myths that kinda build up our world, but if you’re feeling really creative, take a stab at crafting your own!

#sledgefu week

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egoludes · 5 years

Text

meant to be.

note: is this the start of a mini-blurb series? potentially (read: highly likely). for now, please enjoy my bad habit of jumping into the middle, and often most angsty, part of any relationship i write. all the inspo credit here goes to @cupofshawn and her tags on this post - her freakin’ mind. gif credit obviously goes to @harryandshawn - thank you for always blessing us! - and big love to britt and @mndes for proofreading!

if you have ideas about what else you’d like to see in an au like this, hit me up - i’d looove to talk about it. and as always, hope you all enjoy!

wc: 2.3k

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Objectively, you know he's right. Your father’s men will come looking if they discover you’re out of bed, and no one --- especially not the etiquette-obsessed man that raised you --- will be pleased to find you here.

But, as you stand against the stable’s half-cracked door, tucked in a hooded cape you hope is enough to hide you, you can’t imagine being anywhere else. “I want to be here,” you declare simply (as though will alone undoes your predicament) and take another, more emboldened step into the room. Around you, most of the horses are resting, their breaths heavy in the otherwise still stable. Shawn is on the far side of it, hand frozen on the snout of a beautiful brown mare that’ll be yours when she's old enough. She watches you the same way he does ---- intently, inquisitively before deciding she’s uninterested and moving to another corner of her stall.

The sudden retreat earns a curse from him. Shawn’d been hoping to use her as a distraction, if not an outright excuse to send you back to the castle. But, now, there’s no getting away from this like he has the last few weeks ---- you’ve got a look on your face that makes that certain. He pauses for a long breath, shoulders moving in his loose tunic before he faces you, expression carefully set.

For a moment, all you do is take each other in across the empty space. By then, you’ve stepped all the way in to let the door shut behind you, but that changes nothing about the distance - the feeling of being worlds’ apart when he’s on the other side of the room.

It doesn’t help that you’ve been here before in circumstances a lot more hopeful. Just a few years prior, in fact, when Shawn had first come to the castle for his training. It wasn't normal for you to accompany your brothers to see the horses, but you'd worn them down (you can throw one hell of a tantrum if you have to), which led to you, wide-eyed and a little nervous, beside them in the shed. The first thing you noticed, of course, were the horses, each one awake and standing at full height as they started their day. But, it didn’t take long for them to lose your attention to the curly-haired boy tending to them as gently as he could.

You caught Shawn’s attention quickly too, and though you both looked away fast, shame burning in your cheeks, that didn’t stop something electric from filling the room. You were too young to understand it then; but, as you grew older and closer to him, you learned what that empty space across the stable was full of: potential.

For what, well, that stayed out of your grasp for a while longer. But, as you gave it life with fingers intertwined during walks through the gardens, or the first shy kiss he pressed to your mouth before you left him for the day, you came to realize that it was love.

It has always been love.

But, now, there's something sour taking its place. He’s been avoiding you, taking sharp turns around corners when he sees you coming and keeping his tone respectful even when you'e alone — exactly as he'd been trained to. But, you don't want a Shawn that treats you the way he's supposed to. You don't want a Shawn that sees a throne looming behind you, or power in the lines of your palm. You don’t want a Shawn that grows afraid to love you, whether it’s because of your father, or the politics, or whispers in the town about the princess’ “commoner” lover.

You don’t want to lose him.

So, here you are, standing in his stable at a time that would be absurd if it were anyone else. But, it’s you, and it’s him, and he could never turn you away, not fully. But, that doesn’t mean he won’t try.

“I know you do.” His voice draws you out of your thoughts easily and you push your hood back on your head to give you a better view of him. His jaw is still squared, but there’s tenderness in his eyes; hints of your Shawn, even when he’s at arms’ length. “But, you still cannot be ---- we both know that, your Highness.” The title sounds foreign in his voice, even to him, and he grimaces as though it’s left a foul taste on the way out.

You're equally displeased, arms moving to wrap around your middle for a sense of comfort. “Do not call me that,” you snap, a frown knitting your eyebrows together. You can’t remember the last time he’d addressed by your title when no one was around, and his decision to do it now adds a finality to your relationship that you don’t think you can handle. “I am not that when I’m here...when I’m with you.”

The pain in your voice makes his resolve waver, heart tight in his chest like you’d reached in to take it in your hands. He likes to tell himself he’s doing what’s best because he really thinks he is. You both could deny it all you wanted when it was just the two of you, hidden away in the stable. But, there’s no escaping it out there - when eyes follow you, and the crown perched carefully on your head, at every turn.

You’re a princess, the princess, and he, the head stable hand — you were always meant to fail.

Even then, he’d taken that first step, hadn’t he? He'd been the one to give into months of secret smiles and accidental touches to kiss you. And, in the years that followed, he'd promised you everything he could: his children, his home, his love. Everything short of stealing you away for a normal life somewhere no one knew your name.

Now, here he is, breaking your heart. The guilt rises like bile and he has to look away from you to keep steady. “Honey...” he breathes eventually; you can feel your chest ache a little bit less ---- that's much better. “Please — this is not easy for me either. I don't mean to hurt you—“

“But, you are, Shawn,” you let out in another hiss, this time taking a few steps closer. “You’re being awful. Coming every day when you deliver my father’s horse, but you will not look at me. Ignoring all my notes, keeping the stable locked so I can’t wait here for you, calling me your Highness.” Your voice cracks on the last word, sobs splitting the syllables, and Shawn immediately feels his own eyes growing hot. “I hate it, I hate this, I don't want—“

You lose the rest of your outburst against his chest, words muffled in his top when Shawn closes the distance to gather you in his arms. At first, it’s hard to process that he’s holding you, the sensation almost brand new after so many weeks without it. But, when it clicks, you give another loud sob and cling to him so tight, you’re surprised he can even breathe. You take your time holding each other, you soaking it in for what may be the last time and Shawn hoping to calm you, even if it’s just for the moment.

Eventually, you’re settled again, sobs turning to sniffles that barely make it out with your face pressed into him. But, there’s nothing in that calm that’s content. He can feel it even without looking at you, the exhaustion that this has brought, and his arms tighten around you instinctively, drawing you nearer. “Darling,” he starts in a feather-light voice that fills the empty space around you. “Can you look at me?”

You hate that it’s still so easy for him to stir something up in you, but you oblige him without question, chin tilting upwards so you can find his face. The man you’d found earlier, detached and cold, is completely gone; in his place is your Shawn. The one that made funny faces at you when he saw you on the grounds and knew no one else could see. The one that held you to him as you rode your first adult horse, and kissed you boldly when you did it on your own. The one you made love to beneath a sunset sky, and that told you he loved you under moonlight.

You could almost cry from the relief.

“I love you,” he continues when he has your full attention, “’ve never lied about that. And it’s exactly why I want to do this.” You part your lips to protest, another frown rising, and Shawn cuts you off with his forehead meeting yours. “Shh, let me finish...I need to explain.” He pauses to give you time to settle and himself time to think before pressing on. “I don’t care about what I risk by being with you. But, if we ever got caught, so much would change for you. You have to know that. Between your father and the councils, they’d probably keep you under lock and key until they find the first noble to marry you off to and I just.. I can’t ask you to risk that for me. I won’t.” Somewhere in his speech, the energy between you has turned tender and Shawn chances a touch to your cheek, thumb rubbing carefully over the skin. “I just want to protect you. That’s all.”

He seems relieved to get that out, eyes slipping shut when his voice trails off; and for the first time in weeks, you aren’t angry at him. Of course, you’re not happy either, but this in-between feels infinitely better than the cycle of doubting yourself and hating him that’d come before it. It makes it easier to reach up to touch him back, fingers finding his curls as you think through all he’s said. None of it is wrong: nothing good would come out of your father finding out and while Shawn would no doubt suffer, your consequences would far outweigh his. Call it your father’s spite for anyone ‘disgracing’ the royal name, or a ploy to prove power over his kingdom, even down to his own children -- whatever it is, it would leave you devastated.

But, after weeks of watching the man you love slip through your fingers, aren’t you already there? You can’t think of anything that could hurt more than this has, anything you couldn’t withstand if it meant having him back. And the realization has you squaring your shoulders, body braced as though you’ll face your father at that very moment.

First, though, you’ll start with Shawn.

“What if I said I didn’t want you to protect me, not from this at least.” He opens his eyes to find you watching him and you can tell by the way his features twist that he’s confused. You let your fingers thread through his curls until they can settle at the nape of his neck, earning you a purr and a lot less apprehension -- he’s always loved that calming touch. “Shawn, I don’t care about my father, or the traditions, or even the ways he might punish me if we were found out. I knew all about that the moment I met you and still came back the next day.” The reference sparks a memory for you both, something soft and full of sunshine that makes you smile despite yourselves.

“And after these last weeks, I also know he cannot do more to me than losing you has. When nothing compares to you or this, why not take every risk? Why not give everything up to give us a fighting chance?” Tears spring to your eyes again, lining them without falling, and if he squints, he can glimpse the sixteen year old girl he remembers, scared of what will happen if she defies everything she’s ever known. But, far louder is the woman he loves now and the earnest in her eyes, determination that grows more intense as she gives one last stand. “No matter what you say, I’m not running away from this. You simply have to say you’ll stand with me.”

When you finish, you’re winded, watching him with growing nerves, and Shawn is taking you in without a word. You don’t expect the answer to be immediate; but the longer he goes without saying anything, the more dread sinks in. He’s going to say no, you convince yourself, tears starting to cloud your vision, he’s going to say it’s not worth it.

Then, he laughs. A hearty, shoulder-shaking laugh that bends him away from you as he tosses his head back. This time, it’s your turn to be confused, this reaction stinging more, somehow, than a rejection. But, just as you prepare to question him, he beats you to the punch, the arms around you squeezing as he lifts you into a tighter hug. His face lands in the crook of your neck and he sighs contently at the smell of you rising to meet him. It’s been far too long. “I’m such a fool,” he mutters eventually, shifting to peek up at you, “to think you would ever make this easy for me, and that I could ever tell you no.”

You realize, then, that he’d been laughing at himself and almost swat at him for scaring you. But, the answer he’s given you ---- a promise to stand ---- makes it hard to want anything than to kiss him.

So, that’s exactly what you do.

taglist: @sinplisticshawn / @honestey / @heyits-claire / @justanotherfangurl272

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irazor · 5 years

Note

hhhhh OR 78

(like a jealous even or smth… idk whatever is inspo to the magic)

Babe!

Here’s part 3 of the childhood friends au for you. This turned out… even longer, haha, hence the ‘read more’. I hope you’ll like it! ❤️

(part 1 | part 2)

78. “I’m just looking out for you.”

The evening sky is a dark blue, and the late August air chilly as Isak opens the window above his desk.

“What are you doing?”

He turns his head to see Even watching him, standing on the floor with an amused grin on his face.

“Just wait. You’ll like it.”

In fact, he’s not too sure that Even will like this.

But he’s got enough hope that it’ll impress him. So, he reaches for his shirt pocket and, with a smile, he produces the joint he snuck in there when Even said goodbye to his parents in the hallway.

Even raises his eyebrows. “That’s what they taught you at scout camp?”

“Yeah.” He leans back against the window frame. “Among other things.”

Even gives him a lop-sided smile, before he climbs the desk and leans back against the other side of the window.

The dark shades under his eyes are even more pronounced now in the dusk, as are the hollows beneath his cheek bones.

Earlier on, when it’s been more than a month between their family dinners, it’s always been because of Isak’s mum.

This time, however, it’s been over two months since the last one, and she’s been more stable than in a long time.

It could, of course, be due to the summer holidays. To the fact that he was to scout camp for ten days, and that Even was on some exchange program thing in England for three weeks.

But he can’t shake the feeling that, this time, the hiatus has something to do with Even.

Not that he hasn’t heard from him – they’ve been texting on and off, but they haven’t talked. And sometimes there’s been a delay of several hours, even a day, before Even has replied.

Usually, the month-long breaks between dinners have at least included a few nights of hanging out, just the two of them.

But this time he didn’t see Even at all. Two long, dry months, and he hasn’t even been able to decide if it’s been for the better, or worse.

At first sight of him in the hallway earlier, though, he knew. He’s missed him so much, so fucking much – he’s just been really good at imagining that he hasn’t.

And maybe he imagines the shade flashing across Even’s face as he holds out the joint towards him, or he doesn’t.

“Don’t you want some?” He raises an eyebrow at Even. “It’s good stuff.”

“Is it?” Even eyes the joint, then him. “Where did you get it, by the way?”

He shrugs. “Jonas has this new guy in his German class who fixes us up.”

“Did you try it?” Even bites his lip, a serious look on his face.

Isak rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry. I’ve been smoking before, it’s no big deal.”

“I’m just looking out for you.” Even gives him an undecipherable look. And then, at last, he reaches out for the joint and lifts it to his mouth.

God. The way Even looks when he smokes.

His full lips closing around the white paper, his blue eyes almost grey in the evening light. The red glow from the tip when he takes a drag a stark contrast to his pale face.

The tips of Isak’s fingers already tingle as he accepts the joint back. “It’s good shit, right?”

“Yeah.” Even looks out the window, gaze fastened somewhere in the distance. “Hope they don’t come to check on us. Your parents, I mean.”

“They’ve never done that before.” Isak takes another drag, the weed crackling in the silence. “Why now?”

Even shrugs. “Nah. You’re probably right.”

He looks at Even again, and wonders if he’s noticed how casually Isak knocks the ashes off the stub, or that he hasn’t coughed even once. If he’s seen that Isak has grown a whole five centimeters during the course of this summer.

They pass the joint back and forth in silence, until it’s finished, Isak’s limbs glued to the desk, his head swimming.

“Holy shit,” Even says as he unfolds his long legs from the desk and slides down onto the floor. “This is intense.”

Isak can barely will his mouth to cooperate enough to answer, and the room spins as he leans forward to close the window, one hand on the frame to steady himself. “Uhh. Yeah.”

For a moment, he thinks he’ll slip, but then he manages to catch the window and close it. When he turns around, he sees Even sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of the bed, eyes closed.

His legs are wobbly as he climbs down from the desk and sits down beside him. “Hey. You – you okay?”

Even nods, but keeps his eyes closed. “Yeah. Whoa. I’m just – can we just sit here?”

“Yeah.”

It’s not like he’ll tell Even, but he hasn’t smoked that many times before – and never this much, this fast.

So much for trying to impress him.

He closes his eyes as well, but everything around him spins faster and faster as he does, so he pries them open again, trying to focus on something outside of himself to keep from feeling sick.

And first thing he sees is, of course, Even.

His arms are thin, and the skin on them is pale, despite the long, warm summer. A few stray hairs stand in the wrong direction, a path of brown freckles lining the sleeve of his t-shirt. His collarbone is visible through the thin fabric, and a thought flashes by – there’s something he should ask Even, something he’s been wondering –

It flits away just as fast, and he’s back to watching Even. His full lips, slightly parted, his eyelashes resting on the top of his cheeks, the soft strands of hair falling over his forehead.

He’s never wanted anything more than he wants to kiss him right now.

His fingers are itching, and the skin on his whole body tingles, like there’s something alive underneath the surface. But his limbs feel like they’re made of lead, heavy against the floor, unable to move.

Suddenly, Even blinks, opens his eyes, and looks straight at him. And time stops.

It’s probably due to the weed, but in this moment, it feels like the only things to exist are him, Even, and the sound of their breaths in the silent room.

Neither of them say anything, or move. His whole body still molten into the floor, his head glued to the side of the mattress. His hand on the floor between them, still and unmoving.

The blue of Even’s eyes is pale, his pupils dark and wide, and Isak both sees and hears the apple of his throat move as he swallows.

He has no idea for how long they sit there, suspended in time, breathing, staring at each other, the air between them thick and non-existent all at once.

Until a sharp knock on the door tears the moment apart.

“Isak?” His mother’s voice sounds distorted, like it’s filtered through water instead of a thin wooden door. “Even?”

He clears his throat. The movement feels disconnected from himself, like it’s someone else’s body doing it, before he hears his own voice, hoarse and thick. “We’re – we’re sleeping.”

“Almost,” Even adds, his voice gravelly.

There’s a moment’s silence on the other side of the door, before his mother says “Alright. Goodnight then, boys.”

“Goodnight.” He lifts his hands and turns them over, to see if they still feel like his own.

The high is already starting to wear off, and in a not too pleasant way, the tingling on his skin more and more uncomfortable. “Maybe we should go to bed.”

Even nods, slowly. “Yeah.”

They brush their teeth in silence, Isak sitting on the toilet seat, Even leaning over the sink, one hand on the cabinet beside him.

The prickling feeling in his limbs hasn’t subsided as he lies in bed a few minutes later.

It’s like he doesn’t fit into his skin, like he’s too big and too small for it all at once. Like he should get out, go somewhere else, but has no idea where.

He tries to lie still and not wake Even by scraping his feet against the bedsheets, but it’s more and more difficult with each passing second.

Just as he’s about to turn and get out of bed, Even’s voice comes up from the mattress on the floor, and it sounds smaller than he’s ever heard it.

“Can I sleep in your bed? I don’t – I don’t feel so well.”

To be honest, he’s not sure how do handle the thought of Even in his bed right now.

But, on the other hand, lying here alone is an even worse option.

“Okay.” He scoots a little closer to the wall to make room for Even, and bites the inside of his cheek.

As the mattress dips behind him, he tries not to tense up, but he’s not sure how well he manages.

His whole body feels like a live wire, alight with anxiety from the weed, and from the knowledge that Even lies only inches behind him.

And then Even’s chest is against his back, Even’s arm is around his waist, his hand on his shoulder, and he wants to cry with relief.

It’s like his touch draws all the discomfort out of him, makes it seep out and dissolve, leaving only warmth and contentedness behind.

His throat constricts, and the inside of eyes prickle. If this isn’t supposed to be his, why does it feel so fucking right?

He tries to breathe steady, tries to keep control over his body and not lean too much into the touch, and then Even exhales, his breath warm on his neck.

“I – I felt really weird there for a while.” His voice is low, cracked, still small.

He swallows. “Me too.”

“Thanks for… for letting me sleep up here,” Even says next. “I – it feels a lot better now when I’m with you.”

It takes all of his efforts to not turn around in that moment.

If he would, he’d never be able to hold back from kissing Even, to let every inch of their body touch.

And what if Even would reciprocate, hold him and kiss him back, and then regret it when he’s sober?

Having Even like that and then lose him would be worse than never having him at all.

So he lies still, stares into the wall, and settles for the weight of Even’s arm across his chest.

It’s not until Even’s breaths have evened out and become heavier, that he dares to stroke his thumb over his wrist, the pulse beneath the thin skin slow but steady.

–––––

It’s still dark when he wakes up.

At first, he doesn’t realize that he’s awake. Only feels this encompassing, intense feeling of contentment, of fullness and belonging, and he recognizes it from somewhere – a dream? a memory?

Until he suddenly becomes aware of where he is.

Lying with his face in the crook of Even’s neck, his nose and lips touching the thin skin over his pulse point, with his arm slung around Even’s back, Even’s arm around him, their legs intertwined.

Just like the last time.

Horrified, he snaps his head up, and opens his eyes.

Only to find that Even – unlike the last time – is wide awake, and is looking straight at him.

His eyes are pale in the dark, his breathing steady, and he blinks, once, twice, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Isak. Just watches him with a sincere, serious look on his face.

“Why – why aren’t you sleeping?” His own voice sounds hoarse, cracked.

Even bites his lip, then releases it. “I… don’t know.”

His stare is unwavering, and Isak doesn’t know how to look away. “How… how long have you been awake for?”

“I don’t know. Does it matter?” Even’s voice is low, almost a whisper.

And then he lifts his hand from Isak’s back and puts a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

The look in his eyes is so fond as he does it that Isak is sure his heart will stop.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself. Doesn’t know where to put his hands, doesn’t know how to breathe.

Even’s arms are warm and heavy around him, and maybe he should move away. But he can’t. He can’t move a limb, not a single finger.

Only watch Even as he watches him, his thumb brushing over Isak’s cheek, his face suddenly closer, mere inches from his own.

Isak holds his breath. Waits. Holds it.

And then, just like that, he doesn’t have it in him to wait anymore.

He grabs hold of Even’s t-shirt at the back of his neck, draws a breath, and kisses him.

It’s just a touch of lips at first, before he pulls back, breath short, throat tight with what he’s done. Even’s are lips parted, and his eyes wide and full of wonder.

And before he has time to turn around and bury his face in the pillow, Even slides his hand around his neck, and kisses him back.

How many times has he imagined this, awake or in his dreams?

He has no idea.

All he knows is that he never thought it would feel like this.

As Even presses their lips together, opens his mouth and tilts his head to the side, he can feel goosebumps rise all over his skin. His mouth is so warm, and it sends tingles all the way down his spine as their tongues touch – only a brush, but it feels so much.

And nothing could prepare him for the smallest, most important details: how Even’s breath warms his upper lip when his nose is aligned with Isak’s own. How his eyelashes tickle against his cheek. Or how his breath stutters as Isak dares move his hand down to his upper back, and press him closer.

They kiss and kiss and kiss until he loses track of time, without any idea how long they’ve been lying here. His chest feels tight and endlessly full at the same time – if he could, he’d crawl inside Even, let himself be surrounded by him and stay there.

To be honest, he’s a bit afraid of what will happen when they stop. What Even will say. What will become of them.

Right now, he’s not sure he wants to know.

So, he keeps kissing him, again and again, ignoring the way his lips tingle and that his mouth starts to feel dry.

At last, Even draws back and lays his head down on the pillow. His eyes are wide, and he licks his lips, swollen and red. It’s silent for a beat as they watch each other, and Isak holds his breath, waiting.

Until finally, Even lifts his hand to Isak’s face, cards his fingers through the hair at his temple, and speaks.

“Do you – do you remember that day when I waited for you? At school?”

He feels weightless, short of breath. “Yeah.”

“Do you remember what I said? On the sidewalk?” Even’s palm is warm and big against his cheek, unmoving.

“You – you said that you didn’t know if you were into guys. Instead of girls.”

“No, I didn’t.” Even moves even closer, their foreheads touching.

“Yes. You did.”

“No.” Even smiles, and traces his eyebrow with his thumb. “I said a guy.”

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, then. But I – I didn’t know what you meant, if you meant like, someone specific, like someone in your class, or guys in general –”

“God, Isak.” Even’s eyes almost disappear as he smiles even bigger, and shakes his head. “You’re so fucking thick sometimes.”

But the way he says it makes Isak’s insides fill with warmth.

“I’ve missed you so fucking much this summer.” He lets his own hand come to rest around the back of Even’s head.

Suddenly, Even’s face is serious again, his eyes blank. “Me too.”

“Where were you?” He moves his hand down to Even’s neck, fingers carding through the hair behind his ear.

“I – can we talk about it later? I really wanna tell you… everything.” Even bites his lip, before he looks down at Isak’s mouth, and then into his eyes again. “But – right now, can we just… kiss again? Please?

Even’s pulse beats quickly underneath his palm, alive, steady.

They do need to talk, of course. About a lot of things. What this means. Their parents, the future. Everything.

Right now, though, there’s only them, here in his bed, under the duvet.

So he nods, and holds on to Even’s neck, before he leans in, and kisses him again.

#skam fic #isak x even #prompt fic #should I put this on ao3 as a 3+1 oneshot? maybe

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rugeon · 5 years

Text

The level design of V&A Design/Play/Disrupt

Recently went to the V&A expo on videogames and thought it might be fun to try and think about it’s ‘level design’. I realise its silly to call it that and is more informed by planning an exhibition/ event planning and architecture, but w/e.

[pictured: how do you Do it?, 2014 - Nina Freeman, Emmett Butler, Decky Coss, and Joni Kittaka]

This is mostly gonna be some simple thoughts on the experience of traversing the space of this exhibition, and how that space is used effectively to create different effects/ experiences, as well as notes on the smarter considerations on how the experience is paced/sequenced.

This warped/truncated/inaccurate/drawn from flawed memory map roughly shows the layout of the V&A expo:

The whole exhibition can be roughly broken up into four fairly distinct parts:

Exhibits of the design of different video games from differently sized studios ~2009 onwards. [blue]

Articles, talking points, video discussions and exhibits of games as part of our broader social context, concerned with violence, gender, sex, sexuality, race, language, protest etc. [orange]

A large video theatre showing some of the communities that form around games. [red]

An arcade showcasing several more experimental games and projects, that is open to free play. [yellow]

DESIGN

When you walk in you are greeted by a huge projector flashing between collages of the various exhibitions and the alternating titles DESIGN, PLAY, DISRUPT.

[pictured slides from Jenny Jiao Hsia’s talk on prototyping to make her game: ‘Consume Me’, 2016]

Seeing this is unavoidable when entering, and it serves as something of a banner to signal the transition into the formal exhibition space. YOU HAVE ENTERED THE WORLD OF THE VIDEO GAMES.

Mapping this first area of the 1. Design section of the exhibit we get something like this:

Note that these numbers are in an arbitrary order of roughly when I encountered them, and are not indicative of density, just general location of possibly several bits of each exhibit. Also this list is not exhaustive, nor is the map strictly accurate, I do not have an eidetic memory, but I do have a notebook and a smartphone.

Design/Play/DIsrupt screen

Large Print Text Binders

‘Journey’ gameplay montage projection

Notebooks, sketches, a headphone + video prototype demo, inspo photos/footage, graph and board of intended player journeys/narrative threads

‘Last of Us’ Dual screen demo showing gameplay and some of the work relevant to make that part of the game happen

Sketches, notebooks, board plotting out story events/setpieces in seasons, film made for atmosphere reference, blue sky concept art, colour scripts

Mocap footage +suit

Matt Lees @jam _sponge describing the anxious, excitable play of ‘Bloodborne’ between 3 screens.

Notebooks, sketches+concept art, level design docs, and SketchUp pics of early levels, headphones to listen to a recording of the soundtrack

Bunch of top designs for ‘Splatoon’

Early Prototype, creature sketches, fashion asset design

Playable prototypes from the making of Consume Me

Notebooks, corkboards, workplace ephemera, unity project demo, headphone + video 40 minute talk on prototypes

Music from ‘Kentucky Route Zero’ / KR0, visual representation of branching dialogue in twine, Margritte’s ‘Spring in the Forest’

Inspirations, typeface considerations, group wiki, twine showcase

Realtime Art Manifesto, Even more notebooks, with sketches and details of designing Tale of Tale’s ‘The Graveyard’

Playable demo of The Graveyard

Bench

Multi-screen montage of generated worlds in ‘No Man’s Sky’

Blueprint tool for spaceships, terrain debug tool, sci-fi inspirations

Visual inspirations

So what are some of the ways we can think about how this expo was laid out?

For a start it’s fairly linear, there are no branching paths at Design/Play/Disrupt, it’d be a layout ill-suited to somewhere like this where there’s a strong desire for the audience to see all the content and assets (the exhibits) and not miss any pieces that time was spent curating. Thankfully unlike some videogames, this linearity is not gated. There are no attendants fiendishly running up behind you and closing doors as you move from one game to another, people might have missed something, or want to visit an earlier piece while friends are preoccupied with something for a little longer.

Exhibits are visited for the most part in a defined order, with some freedom in the Kentucky Route Zero/Graveyard room as well as the Splatoon/Consume Me room. You are encouraged to experience what is on display for each work and are being guided in a deliberate order, as opposed to set loose in an open hall with no boundaries where some attendees might skip or miss a part of the exhibition.

One thing tying sections you can explore or skip is their loose thematic / tonal linking:

To put it another way, there is a good reason that Bloodborne is next to The Last of Us. Both are triple-A big budget, rated 16+, 18+ action games for blood guts and all the cheery stuff. Consume Me and Splatoon work well next to eachother as the cute aesthetic and playable prototypes hanging from the ceiling work well across from Nintendo’s colourful and playful Splatoon. It would be a bit less natural to have the grotesque and rapacious sounds of Bloodborne echoing within the exact same room as Splatoon. I’m not saying any of these works don’t have some commonality beyond the arbitrary border I’ve drawn, but they fit better together.

- Plus this open space invites an atmosphere of play after having just been cramped into two games rooms that feature horror elements

[Pictured: Splatoon’s section, as well as Consume Me minigame prototypes open to play, suspended from the ceiling]

This also showcases another thing about this event applicable to level design: the same space can be made appealing to different types of audiences. This is an exhibit about video games. I’ll admit this is just my gut but I’d be willing to bet that this exhibit is more likely to be attended by parents and their children than it would most other exhibits. I don’t know exactly what the V&A’s idea of the ideal attendant is, and that’s probably owed to the fact that this event catered to lots of different levels of assumed knowledge and engagement with videogames.

Parent’s who might be a little out of touch with mainstream games, are quite likely to have been put off by bringing their kid to something that was entirely wall to wall Bloodborne, Dark Souls and other things as frightening (as much as I personally would have enjoyed that). Standing watching a parent pull their rapt child away from dulcet descriptions of how deadly mistakes are, in the big monster game, the success of the exhibition is apparent; the next room is a bit more targeted towards that kid’s age range (even though they did seem pretty into Bloodborne).

[The concept art from Bloodborne is such a treat]

It’s no surprise as well that the first game is not The Last of Us, but Journey. More people are playing games now than ever but there remains a fair few people who still don’t really know what’s going on in games. As an exhibition that in part is attempting to show the breadth and depth of games being designed, it makes sense that the first introduction to what games are being made is a game without much in the way of traditional combative interaction.

To wafflingly reiterate: the sequence of how things were placed matters: The accessibility options: 2. [Large Print Binders] are available at the start. Benches and places to sit are placed later throughout the exhibit (including rather wittily across from The Graveyard; a game where the entire goal is to make an old woman sit on a bench).

Reinforcing this point of how the same space can be made to cater to different people this event was extremely Multimedia. Explanations of parts each games design process written up, sketchbooks, and lots of different drawings, scrawled graphs, charts and plans. Concept art, drawings. Video of prototypes and animation, Sounds of ‘Long Journey Home’ echoing up the hall, and the omnipresent dread of Matt Lees echoing down, as well as headphones to listen to specific parts of the exhibition that might be less suited to how crowded the soundscape is or be for a more narrow audience (I wonder how many of the attendants listened to all ~40 Minutes of Jenny Jiao Hsia’s talk on prototyping. I did. It was good). Just in this section of the exhibit, there were so many different means of engagement, and they all felt very well matched to the story of each games development that they wanted to tell, while still offering different types of engagement. People can be looking at a video display showing how the layers of environmental concept art become important and manifest in The Last of Us, while someone else is poring over sketches of Ellie’s design.

[Corkboard plotting out events + setpieces across the timeline of The Last of Us]

As an exhibition space, it is made with the fact that multiple people are occupying it at the same time in mind. If something is not available you can engage with something else. And if one type of engagement is not to your tastes there’s a good chance something else will be- not bothered about the wiki used to help the team of KR0 to communicate? Maybe you’ll be more interested in some of Ben Babbit’s sonic improvisations, or the visual inspirations involved in the creation of the game.

There’s more I could talk about wrt this first sections layout of how it winds you around instead of giving you a straightline to the exit, the choice of games playable being fundamentlly simple, an anecdotally sweet image of a child holding the obscenely big original xbox ‘duke controller’ on a pedestal and their dad cradling their hands. But I’ll just leave off this post here for now and maybe continue looking at V&A things and posting about it later.

To be continued..?

#gamedev #design #v and a #heposttoobig

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