#also a secret ram here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hedgehog-moss · 19 days

Note

The blueberry tart moral quandary has been very fun to ponder! Thank you for sharing it with us. I think the real question, however, is what each of your animals would think about ordering two slices of tart under the circumstances

You're right, that IS the true question here. Let's situate this in a universe where blueberry tart is safe & delicious to eat for all animal species.

CHICKENS. The chickens would definitely want that second helping of tart because chickens live in a solipsistic moral universe and would hesitate to share tart even if it was their dying sister's last wish. However if you place two slices of tart on the ground for 2 chickens, they will immediately and violently start fighting each other over the same slice, thus giving you the opportunity to discreetly retrieve the first slice for yourself. Moreover, if a chicken manages to break off half of the slice and starts running like hell to go eat it elsewhere in peace, the other chicken will take off after her instead of eating the other half happily by herself. If they then break this half in two while fighting over it, they will resume fighting over that half of the half, allowing you to retrieve 3/4 of the second slice. And so on. This is Zeno's paradox applied to chickens and tart: the hens will spend the rest of eternity fighting over diminishing crumbs while you get almost all of the second slice back (albeit broken in increasingly minuscule halves.)

CATS. Not only would the cats want that second slice regardless of who else wants it, they would also sit & start grooming themselves on the rest of the pie with great serenity, rendering it inedible for anyone else. However, my original post established that the pies were under large bell jars. Two of my three cats are (to their everlasting torment) stymied by this sadistic human invention. If the bell jar is heavy enough that you can't push it off the table (a popular strategy), then Mascarille and Merricat will just circle it a few times, ram their faces into the glass, do a full body swipe against it in case this might open a secret door, and then walk away in frustration. Morille on the other hand is a cat possessed of extreme patience, diabolical intelligence and acute interest in forbidden food. She will get the tart no matter how long she has to lie in wait.

DOG. Pandolf would not want a second slice or even a first one, if he is made to understand that this might make other people sad. The thing with Pandolf is, he can smell disappointment. His great big nose picks up on every particle of human disappointment in the air and they go straight to his heart. He is also too polite to even defend his bone from thieving chickens. There's no way he would claim any tart at all unless someone gave it to him and made it clear they would be happy for him to eat it. However Pandolf is very cute when he sits there with a lolling tongue, happy for others to have a good time, and there is also no way one or several persons wouldn't give him their slice of tart. He would definitely end up with tart.

LLAMAS. Pampelune is the matriarch and since her duties involve dying to protect her herd in case of predator attacks, she considers it her prerogative to eat first and as much as she damn pleases in compensation. She would get two slices. I believe Poldine would choose to have only one slice and kiss everyone in the restaurant on the cheek for good measure, and I also believe she would actually get zero tart. As shown in the salt video, Poldine understands her place in the pasture hierarchy (the one who eats last) and has to resort to subterfuge to get even 1 lick of salt while others are gorging themselves. She will be very dependent on other people's temperance and decency to get any tart (so, Pandolf is her best bet.) Meanwhile Pampérigouste is trying to figure out how to escape the restaurant undetected to go on an adventure while the sheeple are talking about tart. She will get one or two or three slices but only if they can facilitate her various stratagems (for example, to bribe a guard at the door.)

The FISH—do not have the cognitive abilities to worry about morals but more importantly, do not experience soul-deep desires in the way the birds and mammals in this list do. My fish live in a smooth and quiet world where the gods make food rain from the sky every day. In this luminescent existence of untroubled abundance their capacity for longing has atrophied. They do not understand what wanting tart means, let alone the complex philosophical agonies humans can put themselves through when faced with culinary conundrums.

DONKEY. Pirlouit's first instinct would be to claim all the tart he can eat and then some. However donkeys and fish sit at opposite ends of the philosophical spectrum; Pirlouit strikes me as an animal who would be interested in exploring the ethical ramifications of the issue, as an intellectual exercise. 70% of his life consists in quiet deep ponderings. I think Pirlouit could get distracted ruminating the blueberry tart quandary in light of the rich philosophical heritage of donkey civilisation, and arrive too late to get any tart by the time he determined whether one or two slices is the right answer. Kind of like that time he got distracted by his need for revenge and was late for breakfast and the llamas had already claimed the hay.

IN CONCLUSION.

#ask #thank you for the question this was also fun to ponder!#morille & the hens were the most obvious answers

741 notes · View notes

margoisthemoon2 · 8 months

Text

Halsin nsfw ABC

A/N: uhh i 100% live by helsin being a soft dom in public and a hard dom in private

NB reader so…yeah

* A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) ~ He is most defiantly a big aftercare person. Massaging your tender body and kissing any bruises you got. Running a bath and making sure you heal. “Are you okay my heart? Was i too rough?”

* B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) ~ waist. (Sounds weird ik). But he is a huge waist grabber. It makes it easier for him to manhandle you and keep you in place.

* C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) ~ He loves seeing his cum on your back or torso.

* D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) ~ none he choose to share everything with you

* E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) ~ VERY!! Dude has had plenty of partners over the years. He’s a man and he knows what he is doing and what he wants. End of story.

* F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) ~ Missionary. He wants to see your entire body on display as he rams into you.

* G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) ~ He can crake a joke or two but he’s more serious and paying attention if you’re enjoying yourself or not so he can catch you giving consent or using a safeword to stop

* H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) ~ It indeed matches. He doesnt like to shave often in other parts thats not his face but he makes sure it doesnt get too crazy down there

* I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) ~ Very romantic. Every position that is changed you can hear him say “Is this okay?” “Let me know if you dont like this” he is a huge kisser during intimacy

* J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) ~ He likes to get straight to it with you but when he is alone and thinking about you he would touch himself once in a while.

* K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) ~ Breeding. Even if you cant get preggers. Breeding.

* L = Location (favorite places to do the do) ~ Anywhere. Any time. But mainly in nature where you cant be seen.

* M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) ~ Just your presence makes him hot and heavy for you.

* N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) ~ He wont do bondage. He doesn’t want you to tied up, he knows how it feels to not have freedom

* O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) ~ Hes a big person on giving. He cant have intimacy if he hasnt gone down on you yet.

* P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) ~ All of the above. Sometimes depends on his mood. He can be rough and hard and other times he can be slow and take in the moment

* Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) ~ He likes quickies. Knowing that its what you both want and you are satisfied is most important.

* R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) ~ He a ‘dont knock it till you try it’ type of person

* S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) ~ He can go multiple rounds. He will go from sun up to sun down if you can last just as long

* T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) ~ He doesnt own any toys himself nor does he use them. However he is very open to you using a plug.

* U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) ~ Hes a huge tease. he loves rubbing your bottom getting closer and closer to your hole before pulling away and acting like he wasnt doing anything

* V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) ~ He grubts alot. A moan and here and there. But he loves cursing during intomacy

* W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) ~ He wants to go as deep as he can in you. Other than missionary he loves the position ‘Praying Mantis’

* X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) ~ He is big and girthy. Hes 7” soft and 7.5” hard and 8” around.

* Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) ~ Very high. But he holds himself back as long as he can

* Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) ~ It takes him a while to fall asleep. He always make sure you are comfortable and okay. About 95% of the time he wants you to fall asleep before he goes.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 halsin #halsin #halsin x reader #bg3 smut #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate tav #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate #baldurs gate halsin #x reader #reader insert #reader #halsin smut #halsin spoilers #baldurs gate 3 smut #baldurs gate x reader #baldurs gate 3 x halsin smut

2K notes · View notes

satoruhour · 7 months

Note

requesting jealous racer gojo with this scene!! https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSN8XvT2Y/ DK as gojo; From afar, Gojo caught his girlfriend chatting with a new racer and the new guy have no idea that the reader is gojo's girl 🥹🥹🥹🥹

a/n: REEEAAALLLLL! find the au masterlist here. loser daisuke makes a return !!!!

warnings: mentions of sexual harassment, assault (against daisuke) — uh dont do this in real life guys !!!!!!, mentions of ejaculation, public teasing & makeout

it was no secret gojo was a naturally possessive man — always glaring at anyone who even took a glimpse of you in your miniskirts or needing to have an arm around your waist whenever you conversed with another racer; whoever you chatted with also knew not to cross too many lines.

what gojo liked the most, though, was always having you run into his arms after every successful win, swooping into your arms and looking at whatever man who’s staring at your ass and then kissing you right on your mouth. the sour scowl on their faces are his favourite part.

so when you’re looking over the condition of your boyfriend’s friends’ cars — geto’s Mazda and nanami’s ’68 Dodge Charger — and checking that their engines could cool down in time for the next race, you’re pleasantly surprised when a man comes up to you without knowing the repercussions he’s about to receive, looking interestedly at the heavy duty metal you’re handling.

“you know you wouldn’t have that heating problem with a V8.” he smugly explains, leaning against the hood of your boyfriend’s car that you have half a mind to ask him to get off — you know how pissed he could get when random people lean on it — but you think you’d see how far this guy would go just for a piece of your ass (plus, your boyfriend loved you too much to put any ounce of blame on you). you’re no stranger to the weirdos around these parts, getting unwarranted slaps on your butt and caresses along your waist that inch too close to your chest, and all they get in return is one sweet, clean punch to their face.

“don’t need to bruise your pretty knuckles for these degenerates, baby.” gojo kisses your temple after knocking a guy unconscious, returning your sick grin right after you dig your heel into their face. “that’s my girl!”

you’re far from the police chief’s daughter after all those years, amusing the man just for a bit with a cute tilt of your head and a pop of your hips. you roll your eyes when you see how he licks his lips, eyes flicking down to your too short skirt.

“all you men care about is who’s got the biggest and better engines,” you click your tongue. even with your half-assed attitude, he takes it as a sign to advance, following you like a lost dog after you monitor nanami’s LS3, which was significantly cooler than geto’s 13B-REW. you take out your flip phone to shoot a text to the race coordinator.

nanamis car gud 2 go 1st. engines cooldown is faster than getos

but all he thinks is that it’s a green light that you wanted his number — he was probably patting himself on the back, didn’t even need any effort to woo you!

all gojo does is look at the ruckus from half a mile away, not listening to a word shoko was saying about her car; not even the cigarette smoke blowed into his face did anything, well, except for make him cough a little. shoko sports a little grin when she follows his line of sight.

“who’s the loser?” gojo asks, pushing off of her car and eyeing how you’d handle the situation. he knew you could hold your own perfectly fine, but with each stupid face the man makes, he’s driven to walk up to help you.

“some douche named wakashita daisuke, heard of him?” shoko replies boredly, tsks when her friend shakes his head, “fucked him for some parts. mediocre dick game.”

gojo scoffs, “not surprised.”

“y’all race with these lame engines, then?” daisuke seemingly had embarrassed himself with reaching out for your phone, seeing as you pocket it right after sending the text, but that doesn’t stop the man one bit. he continues to ramble about the pros of a V8 long after you’ve removed the hood struts from under the two cars. popping the hood to gojo’s car and you successfully shut him up when he sees the RB26DETT engine. albeit, only for five seconds before he starts spouting stupid crap again.

out of the corner of your eyes, you can see a head of white approaching and you hope the corners of your lips don’t give away the fact that he’s about to earn himself a beating. the feel of satoru’s arms around your waist infiltrate your senses first, and then his voice.

“you feelin’ lucky today?” he asks uninterestedly from your shoulder and your hands naturally hold onto his arms. you can feel him fiddling with your belt, and you’re almost 100% he’s pushing his pelvis into yours.

“the girl or the car?” daisuke smirks and you want nothing but to curb-stomp his annoying fucking face. gojo is close to doing it though, but you’re holding him back with a squeeze to his hand; all he replies with is a kiss to your neck, and he thinks this guy must have balls of steel or he’s just insanely dumb because the piercing blue stare satoru gives doesn’t faze him one bit.

“you—”

“baby, leave it.” you whisper, removing his hands from your waist gently and walking over to daisuke with calculated, slow steps. the interaction garners a lot of eyes especially for someone with enough guts to flirt with the gojo satoru’s girl, but you do something unexpected, tracing a finger up his chest and pull at his t-shirt, yanking him right down to your boyfriend’s engine and you nod towards it.

“tell me about it.”

daisuke thinks he’s scored and he leans over the Skyline with both elbows and you follow, sticking your ass out. gojo’s used to this sight and it never gets old, but the smile on his face turns into a glower once the other tries to take a glance as well. you notice it, too.

“engine. i wanna know allll ’bout it . .” you give him a sweet smile and daisuke looks like he could come on the spot — a premature ejaculation for an idiot like him — and he shoots off into a passionate ramble. all of which was wrong, by the way, but you let him have his fun before you’re straightening up and—

plop!

you remove the hood strut and the hood of the Nissan Skyline closes right on his back and there’s a pained scream from under his hood and gojo just laughs out loud. you hear a few other laughs from your spectators, too.

“that’s my baby.” gojo sashays up to you with a smirk, pushing you against the not so flat hood of his car, where it’s moving from daisuke’s flailing body. he’s not too concerned about the damage if he continues to press you onto the uneven parts; he’s got money, no big deal.

like usual, gojo isn’t shy about affection and he goes right for your lips, curling both arms around your waist while one hand gets distracted and squeezes your ass. you’re only able to fit your upper back along the hood as you bend back, moaning exaggeratedly for daisuke to hear.

“hmm . . it’s a little too high, don’t you think, ’toru?” gojo only caresses your hips in response, slotting his thigh between your legs and now it’s going into dangerous territory. you let out a soft whine.

“yep, definitely too high.”

with one swift movement of your heel, you knee daisuke and he falls, both of you jerking down lower on the hood — the edge of the car is probably digging into daisuke’s back by now, but it’s nothing a little money can’t fix.

“sooo much better,” gojo grins, hovering over your body now as his words ignite flames along your lips and the deep kiss leaves you dizzy. he swallows your sounds easily, but he knows when to quell his needs — after satoru’s race is when you’ll be treated for being such a brave girl, not that you need any reason in the first place.

at the end of the day, you’ll forever be satoru’s lucky charm and the only one in his eyes.

952 notes · View notes

dirtyvulture · 7 months

Text

NSFW Alphabet: Sergeant Edition

feat. Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Reader*

18+ only, read at your own risk

AN: Reader has a penis, no pronouns used.

Here it is, as promised, with both Sergeant Romanoff and Sergeant Beef. 🥳

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

At first, Sergeant Romanoff was very quick to hurry you out of her office or bedroom whenever you two were done. It made you a little sad because of how impersonal it seemed, but you also didn't want to overstay your welcome.

It wasn't until one night Natasha completely fucked your brains out and you were so tired you couldn't even move to leave, that she let you stay the night and even cuddled with you for a bit. After that, she became more open to letting you stay and take care of you after sex with her.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Sergeant Romanoff definitely has a thing for uniforms, on herself and you, and she absolutely loves how her curves look when she's completely done up.

As for you, especially in your uniform, it takes all her willpower not to jump you, especially with how your biceps threaten to rip open your sleeves or the buttons on your shirt straining to hold in all your muscles. Sergeant Romanoff loves her beef. :)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Sergeant Romanoff is obsessed with the high of getting to cum, especially if you're the cause of it. She also loves making you cum, which is the next best thing to cumming herself, whether it's in her mouth or her pussy, or all over her chest or hand. She especially likes it when you tell her how good she makes you feel.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

When your sex tape with a former partner leaked, Sergeant Romanoff was not only wildly jealous, but also extremely turned on. She never told you, but more than once she masturbated to your video and fantasized about making a better one with you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Sergeant Romanoff has a lot more experience than you, which is one of the reason why she's usually calling the shots in bed.

And even though you're not as experienced as her, she loves how eager you are to please her and she is surprisingly patient with you as you learn your way around her body.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Since Sergeant Romanoff is a dom, she loves any position where she's on top of you. But occasionally, she'll ask to be under you, mostly because she likes the view of your dog tags swinging around your neck as you ram into her and she likes clawing at your muscular back and leaving her nail marks.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Sergeant Romanoff is extremely serious, almost to a professional level. She might make an occasional joke, but she won't let you laugh for long.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Nat prefers to keeps herself shaved most of the time. But if she does grow it out, yes, the carpet does match the drapes.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Nat had to learn it was okay for her to be soft in front of you because you wouldn't judge her for it. (Being a woman in the military causes her to overthink and always try to exert an aggressive front.)

But even once she's fully comfortable around you, you don't hear her say "I love you" as often as you'd like, but she's working on it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Sergeant Romanoff prefers engaging in group activity with you, but when you're not around, she has no choice but to find other ways to satisfy herself. She does prefer to have you on the phone or video call though so you can watch and squirm as she gets herself off to the thought of you.

Before your big deployment, you went and made a custom dildo of your own cock for her, which has become her favorite toy to use when she can't get her hands on the real thing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She has a lot of kinks, but her favorite ones are probably BDSM, bondage, public sex, and orgasm control.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

One of Sergeant Romanoff's favorite things to do is call you to her office. You're pretty sure she's fucked you in every position possible on her couch and desk. She has a plug-in air freshener that sprays constantly, but there have been a few close calls where someone visiting has commented on the smell of her office.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You acting submissive to her in public (even in your normal work duties) usually has Sergeant Romanoff going feral. Every time you ask for her permission to do something (especially cumming), she gets an immense rush of power and arousal.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sergeant Romanoff will not use any weapons on you during sex. She (and you) have had too many dangerous experiences with guns and knives to treat them as toys in the bedroom.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Sergeant Romanoff loves giving you blowjobs. It gives her such a rush of power, even if she's on her knees for you.

And when you're on your knees eating her out, she'll yank on your hair like a set of reins to remind you that she's the one still in control.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Most of the time, Sergeant Romanoff prefers to be very fast and very rough with you. Even though you're bigger than her, she's always the one man-handling you around the bedroom. She loves leaving scratches and bite marks all over your body as a reminder of how well you please her.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Sergeant Romanoff is very open to quickies as long as they're for her benefit. If you don't finish (or she doesn't let you), she'll just zip you back up and send you on your way. In those times, you'll always find your way back to her and beg her to let you relieve yourself.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Sergeant Romanoff was very hesitant to give you any kind of control in the bedroom. It was a process, but once she learned to trust you, she was happy to be used as you saw fit from time to time. But in general, she's very protective of her control and would rather lead than follow.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Natasha can last much, much longer than you can. But if you ever cum too early or without her permission, she will make sure to punish you so you aren't tempted to do it again.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nat has basically every sex toy you can think of and she uses them all on you. She has a strap so she can peg you and has an assortment of vibrators, cock rings, Fleshlights, etc.

She doesn't let you use toys on herself, but you know she's obsessed with the custom dildo you made for her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

We all know Sergeant Romanoff is the biggest, most unfair tease of all time (let us not forget the public humiliation during our first uniform inspection). She totally gets off to how much you beg and whine for her to let you cum, almost to the point of being legitimately mean about it. But she always rewards you nicely if you manage to follow all of her instructions.

However, the one time you had to use your safe word with her, Nat took it very, very personally. She was very upset with herself for pushing you too far and promised not to do it again.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Sergeant Romanoff is actually pretty quiet, even if you are pounding into her like your life depends on it. Mostly, she'll vocalize if she wants you to go harder or faster, but it's pretty rare to hear her enjoying herself (but when she does, that's how you know you're doing something very right).

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The first time Sergeant Romanoff brought up pegging you with your own dildo she did so jokingly, but it wasn't really a joke anymore when she saw how much you were begging and shaking for her to fuck you harder. She almost came at the sight of you and is desperate to find something that will give her a greater high.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Sergeant Romanoff actually spends almost as much time in the gym as you. Her body is extremely fit and toned, although not quite to the level that yours is, but she is very confident and proud of herself.

Your nickname is Sergeant Beef(cake) for a reason and you draw a lot of attention from the other recruits and staff for your physical prowess. But Nat will gladly let everyone know that you belong to her and that she is yours.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Sergeant Romanoff basically wants you 24/7 and a few times you've indulged her in a sex marathon (although that usually ends with you sleeping for 12 hours straight and practically needing an IV to replenish all the fluids you've lost). There is probably no person on Earth who could keep up with her, but ever since you gifted her the custom dildo of your dick, she's a lot more keen to leave you alone for a bit.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes a lot for Sergeant Romanoff to get tired out (and you usually pass out before she does), but if she ever does reach her breaking point, she likes to fall asleep on you because you're her personal heater and you make her feel safe.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: I always really like writing these lol. I hope you enjoyed reading it, and let me know if there was any headcanon you want elaboration on. :)

Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰

#natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff imagine #sergeant beef au #natasha romanoff x reader

450 notes · View notes

shanastoryteller · 1 month

Note

happy birthday!

can I request some more hokage's daughter or marrying rich please? or anything else Naruto!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5

The first part of the exam is a joke.

Sort of literally, because thanks to Naruto the Konoha Twelve all know the real purpose of the test, but also because Sasuke is able to answer all of these questions without even cheating. He knows Naruto can too, and the only reason Sakura even passed is that her theoretical knowledge is so advanced that it carried her past her mediocre ninjutsu and truly abysmal taijutsu, so this is a walk in the park for her.

Hinata, Neji, and Shikamaru are able to answer on their own as well and everyone else had already decided on their cheating strategy beforehand. The answers might not really matter, but they have to keep up appearances here.

When they get to the Forest of Death, Naruto leads them up to the trees, then says, “I’d ask if you were followed, but I figure you’d find that insulting.”

Sasuke has no idea what she’s talking about until the air next to her shimmers and then Itachi is sitting there. “You insult me all the time.”

“Aniki?” he asks incredulously, then glares at Naruto. “I hate when you don’t tell me the whole plan.”

Sakura pats him on the shoulder sympathetically.

She shrugs. “He’s just backup. Just in case. Remember-”

“Keep an eye on Gaara, don’t let him kill any Konoha shinobi, and if he looks like he’s loosing control or if I need backup, send a clone,” Itachi says. “Are you going to tell me why you’re so worried about Gaara in particular? He’s got a high death count, but that’s not exactly unusual.”

At least she hasn’t told Itachi everything either.

“You can trust him,” Sasuke says, even though Naruto knows that, even though he wouldn’t be here if she did it.

Even with those she trusts, it’s hard for her to lay all her card on the table, to trust them with everything. In a lot of ways, she trusts her parents. But she doesn’t tell them – well, most things.

Naruto looks away guiltily, then gives a short nod, but doesn’t say anything.

Sasuke sighs. “He’s like Naruto.”

Itachi is a genius. He understands what he’s saying immediately and his eyes widen. “That’s not in his file.”

If Itachi doesn’t know, then Minato probably doesn’t either. He would have told his Anbu. Sasuke knows that Naruto had worried that he’d hid it from her deliberately.

“I could be wrong,” Naruto says, even though she’s not, even though she wouldn’t be this worried and going to this much effort if she doubted herself at all. “He’s not exactly like me though.”

“His seal,” Itachi says. “It doesn’t keep them completely separate like yours does?”

Sasuke keeps his expression relaxed from years of practice.

“Right,” she says. “So don’t try and fight him head on, okay? We’ll help you.”

Itachi presses his lips together then nods, disappearing in a swirl of leaves.

“Come on,” Sakura says, “the sooner everyone else collects a scroll, the sooner we can get to the tower ourselves.”

Naruto nods, forming the Ram and a half dozen copies of his best friend pop into existence.

Meeting up with everyone would draw too much attention to themselves and splitting up to keep an eye on the teams is asking for trouble. Luckily, Naruto’s shadow clones are able to bridge that gap.

Not that she’s supposed to know how to do those, but Sasuke has lost count of the number of Naruto’s secrets he’s keeping.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #thegreatone-notthepain-blog #naruto

345 notes · View notes

bratbby333 · 2 months

Note

literally just any smutty choso fic pls ☹️☝️

careful what you wish for, my sweet anon...i got a bit carried away

┊˚ ｡*ੈ ☁️‧₊˚ ❝ your majesty ❞ ˚ ｡˚ -choso kamo

⋆˖⁺‧₊♰ nsfw mdni ♰₊‧⁺˖⋆

cw: concubine!choso/dom!reader, infidelity, blasphemy, oral (f!receiving) wc: 2.3k edited by the loveliest: @remlionheart ༉‧₊˚. dumped my religious trauma into this one, i apologize

Upon the sacred grounds of your kingdom, there are only two rules to live by; No sex and no masturbation, for these sins grant you a one-way ticket into the fiery infernos of hell. This rule applies to everyone but you, of course. You are the queen, after all. You run your domain with unyielding power. You are a hard and fast ruler, feared by all who inhabit your realm.

You are serviced by your concubine, Choso, his timid, submissive disposition suiting you perfectly. You allow Choso to indulge in sexual pleasure that other inhabitants of your land are denied, while also relieving your own frustrations. You are his only exception.

You attend many assemblies throughout the day, some boring and some enthralling. A few banishments here, a couple executions there. You walk the grounds of your domain, taking in the fresh air, reveling in the way the setting sun kisses your skin. Your back is tense, and the expectations that the throne places upon you rest heavily on your shoulders. You need release. You need Choso. You send a nearby servant to fetch him, requesting he be bathed and brought to your room. He’s most likely doing his evening chores; he’s a diligent worker. Driven. Strong. Attractive. There’s no question as to why you chose him to pleasure you.

Strolling the marble walls of your castle, pondering the pros and cons of trade with a neighboring stronghold, your focus is interrupted by the lewd sounds of low grunts and wet flesh. You pause in front of the servant quarters, noticing the door is closed as you press your ear against it. The hair on the back of your neck stands upright, your suspicions confirmed while you listen in. No, this will not do. It is forbidden to partake in such activities and to do so within your kingdom's walls? Punishment is eminent. Your hand will strike down upon the offenders, mercy cast to the wayside.

You push open the wooden doors, your enraged stare falling upon your concubine, Choso, ramming himself deep into one of your handmaids. His strong, muscular back positioned towards you, her cries of pleasure overtaking the sound of you opening the heavy spruce door. Fury courses through your body, but you can’t help but marvel at the sight before you. His broad, toned back tensing with every thrust, the sweet symphony of moans dancing through the still air. You grit your teeth, fists clenching on either side of your body, your heavy gown and tight corset making it far more difficult to breathe when coupled with your lungs constricting in a fit of jealousy. A knot forms in your stomach as you watch Choso toss his head back in pure bliss, his hips stilling as he unloads into her. Betrayal drives a stake through your heart as you watch your sweet concubine find pleasure elsewhere.

Your voice broke through their post-coital bliss with ease.

“Guards!” you shout, and not a second later, three armored men are at your side. The two of them jump at the sudden intrusion of your voice, Choso breaking away from his secret whore as his shameful stares meet your wounded eyes. The hurt doesn’t stay on your face for long though, blind rage soon replacing it.

“Seize her, leave the man to me,” you direct with the wave of your gloved hand. Within an instant, the guards pull the woman from the bed, dragging her down the hall before turning the corner, heading toward the dungeon. Her desperate pleas and anguished apologies echo through the castle walls. You pay her no mind as your attention falls onto Choso.

“Your majesty, I-” he begins, but is abruptly interrupted by your palm suspending in front of you, your daring eyes begging for him to disobey your signal for silence. He knows better than to push his luck in this moment, the fact that he isn’t being dragged away with the woman brings a wave of hopefulness in regards to your leniency with his punishment. But his naive ideations of your forgiveness are all in vain as you bring your hand back down to your side before speaking again.

“To my chambers.”

He stays frozen, his fear-stricken body glued to the floor by your overpowering demeanor, and your waning patience snaps at his continued insubordination.

“Now, Choso. I will not ask again,” you demand, eyes never faltering. He bows his head complicitly before reaching for his undergarments.

“Don’t bother redressing,” you add, a tinge of seduction filtering its way through your harsh tone. His head snaps to meet yours, rouge painting his pale skin. He knows better than to object, especially now that you've caught him breaking the kingdom's holiest rule. Walking through the castle completely nude is the easiest punishment to digest. Heat prickles through his skin at the thought of what was in store for him and he prays that he makes it out alive. He inhales deeply through his nose before taking small, timid steps toward you. You glower at him as he gets closer, turning on your heels to exit as he dutifully shadows you down the hall.

He kneels in front of your bed out of instinct, placing his palms against his thighs. You call for your servants to remove your dressings. He doesn’t have the gall to watch as you are derobed. He shifts anxiously as you perch yourself at the edge of the bed in your master suit, looking up at you with prayerful eyes, taking in your body as you sit fully naked before him. He swallows the lump that constricts his throat. You stare down at him, and he's glad he's already seated, because the burning blue embers flickering behind your irises make him feel faint. You are the most ethereal deity in his eyes, his unwavering devotion makes him want to shower you in worship and graciously accept the punishments you dole out. Punishments he unfortunately deserves. You choose him out of everyone in your kingdom and he’s grateful that you allow him to indulge in sexual pleasure, but what does he decide to do with his new found freedom? Guilt gnaws at his flesh; how could he betray you? What possessed him to shatter the pact the two of you shared? Lust overtook his body in his moment of weakness, succumbing to his carnal urges, and now he must repent.

“Disappointed is an understatement, Choso. How dare you desecrate these holy walls with your sins. You petulant man,” you growl. His shoulders drop toward the floor, shrinking into himself at your words, head bowed in submission. Your hand finds the back of his neck, grabbing roughly at his tousled locks, a fistful of his hair between your fingers as you bring his head up to face you. Your other hand squeezes either side of his jaw, forcing his lips to part. You suck in your cheeks and spit.

“Swallow it,” you command. He obeys. You slap him roughly before grabbing him by his throat.

“You defy me within my own domain. This is grounds for beheading. I know you understand the terms of living within my kingdom.” You lecture, your sharp words lashing against his fully exposed body. Even in the privacy of your bedroom, you hold the same power as if you were sat upon your throne, commandeering all who are present. His pleading glances dart around your face, but his body can’t help but enjoy this. You run your eyes over him, his abs tensing and his cock pulsating, his angry red tip oozing like he didn’t just relieve himself in that whore only a few minutes prior.

“Look at you…pathetic. Just came and now you’re ready to cum again.” You laugh at his disheveled state. You meet his eyes once again, bringing your head down to his, extending your tongue to a point and licking along his mouth. He whimpers, lurching forward in hopes to thread his lips with yours. You slap him again, pulling your head back but keeping your faces close. You click your tongue against your teeth at his desperation. You release his head from your clutches with a slight shove, returning to your upright position along the edge of the bed.

“So, tell me, Choso. With your infidelity in mind, am I not enough for you?” you ask simply, crossing one leg over the other. He’s confused by your question, his mouth hanging open in hopes that your statement is rhetorical. If he says no, it’s his head on the chopping block. If he says yes, you will laugh in his face as you question the sanctity of his loyalty to you. Rightfully so, as you had caught him in the act of betrayal. Your eyes bore into him, head cocked to the side.

“Speak,” you snap. He shudders at the gravitational pull of your energy.

“You are everything to me, your Majesty…everything and more. I-I will forever be at your service. I repent. I give my body to you, and only you. P-please…make me holy again.” He hopes he chose the right words to spare his life. And lucky for him, he did. In truth, you didn’t want to lose him as your concubine just as much as he didn’t want to lose his life. You smile down at him, your hands reaching out to cup either side of his face, leaning back down so your faces are level.

“Are you willing to show me how sorry you are?" you ask, softer now, eyes low as you lean yourself back on your elbows. He groans at the sight of your exposed cunt and nods back furiously, leaning forward obediently to rest his cheek on your bare thigh, the smell of your sweetness overtaking him.

“Look at me when I address you, Choso, and use your words.” Your voice returns to its original harshness, using two fingers to bring his head back up to look at you.

“Yes, Your Majesty. Let me show you how sorry I am. I’ll do anything for you.” he whimpers out, trying his best to maintain eye contact with you.

"Then make me cum, my sweet little concubine.” His expression brightens ever so slightly, gazing admirably into your eyes. This punishment isn’t so bad, he loves the way you taste.

"Can I touch you? P-please, My Queen...just want to pleasure you," he begs, his overwhelming arousal coupled with his fear of upsetting you again cause him to stutter. His eyes dart back and forth between yours, his eyebrows furrowed. His cheeks are blisteringly warm and he’s practically vibrating against your touch in anticipation. You're pleased with his desperation, nodding with approval, your lips curling into a mischievous grin.

His warm, wet mouth latches onto your pussy almost immediately, his tongue thrashing against your slit and lips sucking greedily on your throbbing bud. He hums in content, the taste of you coating his tongue deliciously, his body yearning for more as he devours you. You arch your back, thrusting your hips toward his mouth.

"S-so eager to please," you breathe out, words laced with the intention of mockery, your fingers interlocking in his dark, mussed hair. You groan at the sight of his lustful eyes staring back up at you through his disheveled bangs.

"That’s it. Show me how much I mean to you…earn your forgiveness." Your words ring through his ears, spurring him on. Moans cascade from your plump, parted lips. He whines at your noises, the delicious sounds you make only for him. Clinging to the sweet melodies of your gospel, his pace picks up, sucking aggressively, hungrily, as if he needs to drink you up completely to survive.

His thick fingers tease your hole before plunging inside, the pads of his digits curling perfectly to massage your sweet spot. Your head falls back, back flush against your silk sheets, grinding even deeper into his mouth.

"My little slut…so thirsty for my cum, aren’t you," you gasp out, the tightness in your tummy intensifying.

He hums greedily, continuing to pump into you, suckling harshly on your sensitive clit. He removes his mouth from your center before quickly replacing his tongue with the fingers of his free hand, rubbing quick, firm circles into your clit.

"Please give me your cum...need to taste your sweetness. P-please, Your Majesty," he pleads, dipping his head back to your dripping cunt, lapping and sucking at you with fervor, the pace of his fingers relentlessly pumping into you. His deep voice sends ripples of arousal through your pelvis. His desperate words hang in the air, his frantic fingering and famished mouth against your core sending you over the edge. Your hips rut, thighs shaking as you cry out for him as you spray your release across his face. His rhythm continues while he works you through your blinding orgasm, groaning into you, tasting the hallowed juices he so hopelessly craved.

His fingers slow, his lips detaching from your throbbing clit with a satisfying pop. He beams with pride, panting as he drinks in the heavenly glow emanating off your body, his lips swollen and his face wet from your release, your body aching as the waves of your orgasm finally simmer down.

"My good boy...so precious," you praise, sitting up, your hands cupping his cheeks, his eyes lighting up. Your chest heaves as you work to regain your breath. He nuzzles his face against your thigh, his hands massaging your calves, sighing contently as you stroke his head, tucking strands of his hair behind his ear.

“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine,” he whispers into your skin.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚

author notes: wooo weee this was fun to write. had been dying to do a dom!reader, i hope yall liked it ♡ willing to do a part two of this!!

my requests are open! send a message here ♛ drop an emoji with your ask and ill add you to my anon club xx

thank yall so very much for supporting my work...i hit 100 followers today AND it's my birthday so i feel so grateful rn

#jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen writing #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk fanfic #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #choso x reader #choso kamo #choso smut #bratbby333 #anon✨

370 notes · View notes

floralcyanidee · 9 months

Text

ɴsғᴡ ᴀʟᴘʜᴀʙᴇᴛ - ᴊᴏɴᴀᴛʜᴀɴ ᴄʀᴀɴᴇ

Jonathan Crane x AFAB!reader

Behold the NSFW alphabet for Jonathan Crane.

warnings: smut, mentions of kinks, descriptions of kinks/sex

author’s note: I've seen people do these for a lot of characters/ people I have loved over the years, so I decided it was time I did my own. Obviously, none of this is canon, it's just my imagination lol. I'm still shadowbanned on my main tumblr, so I guess I'll be hanging out here for a while. But I'm still on that tumblr daily! Thanks for all your support (':

main masterlist | cillian murphy masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

Despite his desire to be rough or detached during sex, Jonathan always ensures you’re cared for and comforted afterward. This includes a warm bath if needed, some cuddling (if he really cares for you), and helping you clean up. If Jonathan has an attachment to you, he’ll spend the rest of the session just hugging up to you and telling you how good you did.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Jonathan loves your legs- from your ankles to the apex of your thighs. He can't get enough of them, whether they’re wrapped around his waist, on either side of his head, or on his shoulders. Jonathan will bite and squeeze your thighs, often leaving marks and bruises. He’ll kiss up your calves and knees during missionary (which is rare unless he has taken a liking to you). On his own body, he guesses his torso or arms. They’re not too lanky or too buff, they’re a nice in-between. Jonathan’s body is lean and fit; he thinks it’s ideal enough. He’d rather focus on your body in general.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Jonathan is such a cum slut. He’ll make sure to take all of you when he eats you out, licking and lapping at you until every drop is accounted for. Sometimes, if he’s feeling kinky enough, he’ll spit it into your mouth and let you spit it back into his. Jonathan also loves watching you swallow his cum or watch you take his load on your face. It causes him to get worked up all over again, no matter how spent he is. He enjoys cumming inside you, too. It’s one of his favorite things, especially when hitting it raw.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self-explanatory)

Jonathan has a panty kink. He will steal your underwear any chance he can get, which is often. You pretend you don’t notice your favorite pairs going missing after visiting him, and you eventually feed into his addiction. He just loves your scent and the feel of the lace or cotton of your underwear between his fingers. Many would find this gross, but Jonathan finds it hot.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

Jonathan definitely knows what he’s doing, even if he acts oblivious to most things. He lost his virginity at a reasonable age and has had many partners who have taught him just about everything he knows. Some stuff he’s learned on his own, though. Jonathan takes good care of you in the bedroom, making sure you’re just as pleased as him every time.

F= Favorite position

This man loves doggy through and through. Sure, missionary (if he likes you) and laying on your side feel good, but slamming his cock into you as deep as he can go from behind? Doggy is chef's kiss, in Jonathan’s opinion. He could ram into you forever, feeling you clench around him as his tip hits your cervix dead on. It never gets old.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

Jonathan isn’t really a goofy person anyway, so he isn’t goofy during sex, either. Sure, if a mishap occurs, he may crack a smile, but other than that, he’s composed.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

He keeps himself pretty neat hair-wise. He’s trimmed but not clean-shaven- he thinks it’s a tad too much work. Besides, a little hair isn’t going to hurt anyone.

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Jonathan likes it hot and dirty most of the time. He’ll get rough and grab you by the throat or grip your body with a vice, making sure you can’t move. Jonathan will take you against a wall, in the bed until the headboard breaks, and in the office bathroom if a quickie is needed. Every time is rough enough for you to be sore the following day. As I’ve mentioned a few times, if Jonathan has feelings for you, he doesn’t mind a little romance. He’ll be gentle and look you in the eye as he fucks you, his eyes full of wonder and endearment.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Jonathan used to rely on getting himself off just about every day until you stumbled into his life. Now, he doesn’t really think much of it unless you ask him to do it in front of you. Other than that, he has you to let out his sexual frustration.

K= Kink (kinks what they like, possibly unusual)

Boy, oh boy. Spitting, choking, blood, knife/gun, light bondage (sometimes actual bondage if Jonathan’s in a mood), spanking, slapping, hair-pulling, biting, fear (of course), cum-swapping/eating, degrading, the list goes on. I feel like Jonathan would enjoy exploring things with you.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

Jonathan loves having sex with you quite literally anywhere he can. Preferably the bed where it’s comfortable, but if you’re in public or at work, he’ll take you to the bathroom. If he needs you immediately while at home, he’ll pin you against the wall or fuck you on the couch. Sometimes, the counter as well if it’s the spur of the moment.

M= Motivation (things that make them tick/turn-ons)

Seeing your legs, any time you’re confident in yourself, pulling his hair, biting his ear, you being afraid/ terrified, when you’re walking around the house naked (even if for a moment, he spares you nothing), seeing you happy or angry.

N= No (turn offs or absolutely won’t do)

Any body fluids other than spit, blood, or cum, torture to the full extent isn’t his thing (he doesn’t want to actually hurt you), full-on public play isn’t something he’s into either, but semi-public play is something he’s cool with.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

Jonathan is magical with his mouth, so you’re always up for oral. He can work his tongue like none other and give the right amount of attention everywhere. He also loves it when you’re taking him with your mouth, gagging and crying around his length. Jonathan could thrust into your throat forever and be content. Jonathan, overall, enjoys both giving and receiving.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

He is pretty quick in his movements, especially when he’s feeling unhinged. Jonathan will not be merciful when he’s feeling this way either, he will grab you somewhere on your body and use you like a toy and fuck you senseless. He can go numerous rounds, so he can last hours sometimes. This is a blessing and curse, depending on your libido.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

Jonathan (as I’ve said) will totally fuck you while you’re both at work in the bathroom or sometimes in a closet at a friend’s house if you attend dinner together. Even at home, if you’re both in the mood for something quick, the kitchen counter is notorious for your quickie rendezvous. Jonathan always goes fast and hard with your quickies. There’s nothing slow or romantic about them.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Between the two of you, there’s always something new going on in the bedroom. Sometimes, you’ll stumble upon something that interests you, and it’s the same for Jonathan. Most of the things he’s into, he knows he’s into them because he’s tried them with you. You’re constantly challenging him to try new things in the spur of the moment, too. One time, you asked Jonathan to tie up your hands with his tie because you thought he looked really good in it that day. Now you’ve graduated to handcuffs. It took some convincing and trust-checking for you to finally let him try to fear toxin on you, and even though it was terrifying, it was the best sex you’ve ever had.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

God, this man can go several rounds and can go for hours like the Energizer Bunny. Every round differs in duration depending on how quickly you cum and how quickly he does as well. It also depends on how worked up you both get with every round.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Oh boy. Jonathan loves using different toys on you, especially the Hitachi. He will make you spread your legs on the bed and put it against your clit as he sits and watches from across the room. Sometimes, he’ll use a bunny to spice things up, pushing in and out of you at a snail’s pace, much to your disliking. He is hesitant to let you use toys on him, but you’ve brought up the idea of a vibrating cock ring, to which he said he’d think about it.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves?)

As I mentioned, Jonathan has tortured you (not literally) with toys, teasing, and new kinks. His favorite thing is teasing you until you’re overly wet and turned on, squirming for his touch. Jonathan also loves being teased, but only sometimes. He has to be in the mood for it, or else he’ll just get pissy.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

Jonathan gets loud when the sex is really feral, which is most of the time. He’ll grunt in your ear and speak dirty words into it as he stutters and moans from how tight you are around him. He’ll praise you over and over and say your name like a mantra when he’s coming down from his high. There’s nothing Jonathan loves more than speaking your name as you milk him dry.

W= Wild card (random sin cannon of any sort)

Strip poker. Or stripping while playing any game, really. As odd as it sounds, Jonathan likes to play this, especially with chess. You aren’t too good at it, but you’re learning. So, of course, you’re the one to strip most of the time. Sometimes, the two of you will play actual poker, and you usually beat him, making him grumble as he takes off an article of clothing. Usually, this is your kinkiest kind of sex because of the slow build.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

Jonathan is fairly average while soft, but when he’s hard, he’s pretty big. Not big enough to hurt, but big enough to make you full and miss that fullness when he pulls out of you. He knows how to use his cock properly in a way that it won’t bruise you unless he’s feeling violent or you want him to hurt you. Then he’s like an animal with what’s in his pants.

Y= Yearning (sex drive level)

Jonathan yearned for you for so long before you finally had interaction, both platonic and sexual. He would touch himself to the thought of you until he had the real thing. So, for the first few months of your relationship (or whatever this is), he was borderline addicted to exploring you and your body. His sex drive level was insane and still is sometimes. Like I’ve said, man could go for hours, especially if it’s with you.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after? if so, how quickly after)

For Jonathan, sex either energizes him or knocks him the fuck out, all depending on how wild you get. Suppose it’s a rough session. In that case, he’ll curl up with you to his chest and fall asleep almost immediately following your aftercare. It’s cute. Sometimes, you’ll watch him sleep and realize that maybe you love him, and maybe he loves you too.

taglist:

@baizzhu @aporiasposts @hjmalmed @queenshelby @amanda08319 @naty-1001 @orijanko @raineeace @nela-cutie @cutexlr @flwrs4aust @langdons-slut @shynovelist @sstar-ggirl @mypoisonedvine @queenshelby @babybluebex @arieslost @nefhertari @forgottenpeakywriter @october-atoner @starbxnny @llucky-llove @annasuifairydance @ynisthatyou @darkmoviesquotespizza @newtsniffles @madlittlecriminal @acapelladitty @cranesbathtowel

#jonathan crane #jonathan crane x reader smut #jonathan crane fanfiction #jonathan crane smut #jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane alphabet #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader smut #jonathan crane x you #jonathan crane x you smut #jonathan crane x y/n #jonathan crane x y/n smut #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy alphabet #floralcyanide writes

523 notes · View notes

pinkslaystation · 3 months

Text

Impressive yet Unimpressed.

König and gn!Reader

In which König overhears gossip about him, and the change in his actions affect you, physically and mentally. yALLLLL i'm back >_< here's some unedited shit for the könig girlies (me) - also why do i get this writing motivation late at night :/

Part 2 ;> Word Count: 2.3k

Everyone knew König was infatuated by his partner. By you.

His closest closest friends, included Horangi, were aware of your slightly secret relationship - considering you were all in the same team.

The way he his eyes found you during training, the way he gently held you in his arms when it came to practicing shooting, the way-

You get the point.

Sometimes when your team went out for missions, König found himself committing slight mistakes, such as being distracted by you leading to a close call of a bomb detonation.

"König are you fucking insane? Where's your mind at, man? You're fucking up the team!" One scolded at him in the aircraft post-mission, flying your team to safety.

But König attention remained at you, his eyes focusing on how you managed to still look good regardless of the numerous scars and fresh bruises littering your face. His hand held a (squished) flower that he found, hoping to decorate your hair once landed.

And his feelings were most definitely reciprocated. Your eyes would roam his large frame, muscles tensing as he gripped a fellow teammate in a headlock (me when König? me when.), and you often found yourself unconsciously leaning back into his chest as he held you protectively during practice.

Walking around the base, recruits recognised you, your hair always sporting a different single flower sitting by your right ear.

But not only as his partner, but you also appreciated him as a friend, training you when you first joined, helping you revise for tests, filing paperwork with you.

And although you both found comfort and love from each other during the long weeks of being at base, König often found wanting more from you. He wanted everyone to know he's yours and that you're his. He wanted to take the relationship to the next step, he wanted marriage, he wanted kids, he dreamed of retiring from the military and moving to cute little cottage in the Austrian countryside with you, content that you would both be no longer affiliated with a workplace that screamed violence and limited possibility of survival.

And although the military was all he knew, given he enlisted into the military freshly 17, he knew it wasn't his future, no.

His future was with you.

König found himself walking towards his senior's office, smiling under his mask as his mind frequently hovered over you. Teams for the next missions had been released during the previous meeting, and König wanted to switch to be in the same group as you - so he'd be at peace that your safety in within his arms.

But as his hand gripped at the door handle, his focus switched to the muffled voices from within the office, his ears perking up at his name being thrown into the conversation.

"...he's got soft, sir!"

"We could've died in the last mission, sir, I mean he's an insertion specialist, but the only thing I see him inserting himself into, is his girl, sir!"

König froze. Soft? He's gone soft? He's been described as a fucking battering ram, the fuck do you mean he's gone soft?!

"Like the last training session, this guy spars everyone, and lord does he beat everyone, but the moment he's paired with them, he's fucking rolling on the mat or he surrenders?! How is this fai..."

"...he lives and breathes them sir, it's putting the other soldiers at risk. Does he have to come with us for this mission?"

König zones out. His entire life is the military. In his bare room in the barracks. Not a little cute little cottage in the Austrian countryside?! His home is at the Kortac base, his mind is with his team, and he definitely doesn't live and breathe you.

The muffled voices pause, as if coming to an agreement, and König hears footsteps, quickly hiding behind the door, which opens to reveal the voices.

His teammates.

The teammates he's grown up with.

They thought he was going soft...becoming weak...

König furrowed his eyebrows in humiliation.

A mission without him? That's like asking for death. He'll show you death.

König naturally found himself coming to you, having overheard this mood upsetting gossip about him.

But little ol' you didn't know any better, when he dashed into the common room only to grab a cold beer from the fridge, without a regular smooch to your head, not even a look in your direction, it didn't register how much deeper the crack in your relationship had become...

The day of the mission had come, and although König had told you that went to talk to the higher ups, you couldn't help but be a bit upset considering they hadn't switched you to his group, finding yourself still in your own.

But you didn't mind. You just wanted this mission to be over, so you could find yourself resting in his arms rather than on this random soldier's shoulder.

The aircrafts that held your group and his, raced over the landscape, planting itself by the safe house in the darkness of the Saudi Arabian night.

As the multiple groups landed, soldiers scattering the group as they exit the aircraft, you find yourself making eye contact for the 6'10 colonel.

You send a slight smile his direction, only to be met with a hidden frown behind his mask. You're confused. Usually, his eyes would crinkle with his smile, but your thoughts are interrupted - you're on a mission.

You're huffing, your vision blurry and you find yourself back onto the aircraft? But this isn't your team, as your look around your surrounding, realising you're lying in the middle of the aisle bordered by soldiers. It's König's team.

To your right, you see König...and he's not even looking your way? And to the left is Horangi, his hand rising for a slight wave.

Why aren't you with your team? Where is your team? Where is the air craft going? Why is König not looking at you???

Your eyes shut in pain, and you wince at the slight pain by your abdomen; it's the last thing you feel as you find yourself losing consciousness, failing to see König falling to his knees to aid you as you pass out.

"...bullet grazed abdome..."

Huh?

"...ight concussi..."

Bright light shines in your face.

"...few days..."

This could be the medics, but the way the lights blind your vision, you question whether your well-being is at safe hands or not.

You open your mouth to speak. You can't.

The dryness of your throat restricts you from speaking, but thankfully, one of two medics catches the movement of your lips.

"Soldier, you're okay! Jus' a concussion and stitches on your stomach, cleaned up, not to fret. 6 to 7 days 'til you're free to go, give or take-"

You raise your hand to point towards the freshly scented bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, yeah. Someone brought them...didn't catch the name, solider. Now rest. You need it."

A week of your teammates visiting you goes by, a week of fresh sets of flowers sat by your bed everyday, and although you're happy to be back with them in training, you're dishearten that König didn't find his way to your hospital bed.

Everytime you asked, you received the same response.

"Not sure dude, haven't seen him in a while, stuck in the gym by the looks of it."

You raise your eyebrow. "So...he never visited me?" Voice quivering.

Your teammates shrug.

"Your guy's gone mad in training. Struck his elbow into my neck, and now I want to be on the bed beside you." One said.

"Missed me so badly, you guys have been sending me so many flowers, 'n this place has become a forest!" You laugh, followed by a painful cough, and your friends rush to your side.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, just wanna be back with the team. Just wanna be back with König..."

The medic ends the visitation, walking your friends out the room, leaving you to close your eyes once again as sleep evades you. Outside the room, a confused group discuss.

"We never got her flowers?"

"Forget the flowers - why is there a medal there?"

Whilst you were resting away in your bed, König was awarded for his bravery, putting himself forward to rescue his soldier, you. He felt selfish for enjoying this familiar attention, being praised by someone other than you.

He was impressive on the field..

He walked into the hospital room, when he knew you were resting, after begging and almost on the verge of bribing the medic to let him in after visitation hours.

He decorated your room with the freshest flowers, arrays of bouquets of roses and tulips, dahlias and peonies, as if it were a room full of boyfriends waiting for their girlfriends on valentines day.

There you rest, your chest heaving as you snore. König leaves a flower in your hair, by your right ear, before leaving your room.

It's been 10 days since you've been admitted into the medical room, and 0 days of being with König. Awake that is...

Your teammates are right, he's busy in the gym. Men's only gym...what a calculated move, you think.

Though you're still questioning your actions. What did you do for him to be ignoring you?

So here you are, walking into the combat room, numerous pairs sparring, including König. You aimed to talk to him, ask him why he didn't visit you during your admission to the medical room, and why a shiny gold medal rested, engraving his name, rested underneath your sweatshirt.

The medic warned you, "No physical combat yet - a few more days 'til the cut on your abdomen closes."

And you weren't here to spar, God no.

You were here for König - who's currently...on top of a recruit, fists beating against the poor opponents bloody face.

You push pass the crowd, surrounding this brutal fight - you call it a fight although, from a third party, it looks just like a murder.

"König! Stop! What the fuck are you doing?" You shout at him, trying to get his attention. But your voice is overpowered by the hollering and whistling of the surrounding crowd.

"König! Enough!" Still nothing.

"Köni-"

His eyes meet yours. But not a look of adoration, no. A murderous look. A look that could kill. His eyes, a gentle blue, now a bloodshot red. Like a madman. Like a man-hunting lion.

A shiver runs down your spine.

Another voice breaks out into a shout.

"Who's next" He looks to his left.

"- to fight -", He looks to his right.

"the big the almighty, the Austrian King, Kööööniiiiig!" He announces, elongating syllables, as if a commentator for an illegal underground boxing ring.

"Any contestaaants?" His voice annoys you, why isn't anyone helping the poor soldier? And why is König behaving this way? All macho?

Normally, a quick spar with König would consist of a few skilled moved thrown around, before continuing to the next opponent according to the rotation. Not like you would know, he usually just rolls on the mat or he surrenders, too afraid to hurt his precious lover.

You begin to scream, "Stop this figh-"

König eyes rest on yours, and this signals the commentator-wannabe to point directly at you.

"The neeeeext opponent-"

Oh no.

"isssss-"

Why is everyone looking at you?

"Youuuuu!"

Me?

In a matter of seconds, the crowd formed around König and the now unconscious soldier moves to border you and König.

König stands up, his 6' 10 self towering over you, even though he stands 7 metres from you.

He steps towards you slowly, and your eyes fall down to his boots.

His left foot moves, then his right foot.

Left.

Right.

And now he's right in front of you, red eyes cutting into you. He scoffs, looking down at you condescendingly.

"Wait-" Your mouth runs dry again.

He steps forwards once again.

"Wait, König, I can't, I was disch-"

But this doesn't stop him.

He grabs your sweatshirt at the chest, unknowingly clutching onto the tucked away medal, and with a swift move, he places his second hand onto your back, and throws you straight onto your back.

He throws you directly onto your back.

Your thankful that you didn't land onto your front, your stitches would have broken immediately, but at this point, you're not too sure, and you're clutching onto your stomach again, curling into fetal position onto the floor.

Something is definitely broken. You can tell, because when you open your eyes, you see people staring from above you, while you lay on the mat, laying in a blood of a deep red liquid.

Your ears are ringing once again, and you lay motionless on the floor, cursing internally for being so weak.

König smirks at you on the floor.

Weak? Him?

Soft?? HIM??

He chuckles as people begin to pat his back, fist bumping and side hugging the soldiers around him.

He turns to you once again.

"Shows over, liebing, get up now." He breathes heavily.

You don't move.

"Schatz...enough acting..."

Nothing.

He steps towards you, kneeling to reach your level, his eyes catching sight of the pool of blood.

"Meine Liebli-"

His fingers touch your skin and his blood runs cold, whilst yours run down the mat from your broken nose.

"Schatz?"

The crowd dissipates and the medic runs into the middle of the scene.

"I told her no physical exercise! König, why didn't you stop her!" He scolded at König.

"Now help me carry her to the medical room - again!"

König, who didn't dare to speak, looks up, eyes wide open.

"König!"

The medic looks down at him.

An unimpressed look rests on his face.

YALLLLLLLL the angst, call me mcdonalds cos i'm loving it :D Quick notes: The move König pulls at the end is written a little confusingly (MY APOLOGIES LMAO), but it's inspired by the wrestling move -> The Arm Throw. I hope this helps you visualise it better. I've decided to start a tag list! -> lemme know you're interested to be tagged in my future posts! tags -> @lilliumrorum

#call of duty #cod #konig angst #konig x reader #konig cod #konig mw2 #konig call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw2

251 notes · View notes

sunnyfucks · 2 years

Text

⌕... ❀⚕︎ AUDIO-ONLY SEX TAPES ー kim sunoo.

AUDIO 1 : “stop? who says?” sub to dom!sunoo x fem!listener.

cw : slight somnophilia (ksn!receiving), kissing & wet sounds, raw sex, loud moans so please do not watch without earphones.

↝ it has been a week since sunoo opened up about his new found kink, somnophilia.. but you’ve never tried it both as he became so busy at work and so are you. so when he called you one night, asking you to wake him up once you’re home cause he’d sleep while waiting for you, you clocked out as fast as you can. when you reached home, despite being so tired, you ended up pulling a sleeping sunoo’s shorts and gave him head. his shaky moans as you wakes him up using your mouth sent shiver down your spine, but little did you know.. it was enough for sunoo to finally dominate you in bed. what happened next? he has you begging to stop and well... he doesn’t.

【 listen here ! 】

AUDIO 2 : “i know you like this, you can’t lie to me. now, shut up” enha member desperate dom!sunoo x enha member fem!listener.

cw : desperate sunoo, he doesn’t care anymore, whispering, kissing & wet sounds, raw sex, moans moans moans so please do not watch without earphones.

↝ being in a relationship with sunoo while everyone in the group have no idea is one of the most hardest challenges you’ve ever felt and/or done in your life. you’re pretty sure that if it wasn’t for sunoo’s reserved personality and him being so good with secrets, you know your relationship’s long revealed.. so why is it that late at night, when everyone is asleep, sunoo can’t seem to keep his hand to himself when he knows he’s being so risky? heck, its your so so fun shoot and all the cam’s are rolling.. the members are also beside your fushion so why isn’t he stopping?!

【 listen here ! 】

AUDIO 3 : “answer me, who do you belong to?” yandere!sunoo x fem!listener.

cw : yandere!sunoo threaten!ng reader, obsess!on, mentions of k!llings, implied cheating (reader), raw sex, kissing & wet sounds, watch at your own risk, moans moans moans please do not watch without earphones!

↝ you love sunoo with all your heart, and he feels the same way. you always felt your relationship with him would never have its ugly side, but that is when sunoo wasn’t controlling you yet. that was when you can still talk to your guy friends without sunoo burning a hole on them using his fox-like eyes. that was all when sunoo wasn’t obsessed yet. you slowly tried getting out of his grasp and thanks to your work, you found a new guy. you don’t know how to ask help without sounding so insane, so the days you spent with the new guy grew as it is and somehow, it ended up on a dinner night. you went home that night without thinking much, you only want to rest because the pressure of hiding things with your workmate stressed you out so much and now it felt like you went on a new step. but like always, sunoo came rushing to you. the guilt of possibly cheating on him eating you up, but what can you do? you have to get out. but much to your dismay, sunoo found out and the only way he can think of securing you back is by stuffing you with his dick while he rams to your head how you need no one but him. why? cause if you do... he’s surely on the way to k!ll not only everyone but also you.

【 listen here ! 】

AUDIO 4 : “noona, isn’t this dangerous?” sub!sunoo x dom!fem listener.

cw : very very desperate sunoo, begging (sunoo), basically sunoo being the ultimate sub, makeup sex, creampie, raw sex, loud whiny moans so please do not watch without earphones.

↝ sunoo never felt insecure with your childhood friend, jay, that he is also friends with, ever since before. sure, you knew jay even before you get to know him but he knows you’d never leave him for no one. he knows no one compares to him. but what would he do if he sees you laughing all prettily with his jay hyung? ofcourse, mess it up and show an attitude. this didn’t go unnoticed by you and in return, you started giving him the silent treatment he oh super hate. poor baby was devastated that he ended up on your bed, shaking and begging you to stop cause he can’t afford to continue more or he’d end up creaming your insides full.

【 listen here ! 】

AUDIO 5 : “you can’t make a sound.. we’ll get caught” live streamer!sunoo x fem!listener.

cw : having sex while sunoo’s on an audio-only livestream, lots whispering and wet sounds, lots of moans so please wear headphones/earphones! a girl moaning was added, so please sorry in advance if some of yall wouldn’t like that. its part of the audio.

teaser (do not watch without headphones/earphones!)

↝ it has been a while since sunoo opened his yt, twitch, and any other streaming platform’s channel.. at first, you were not in any bit bothered by how he makes “scenarios” and posts it publicly for everyone in the world to see. until sunoo’s followers/fans have grown and you just can’t keep listening to his sweet remarks for other girls anymore. pretty petty, cause its just an audio.. its called an act for a reason, but who cares with being petty? a lot of his fans calls him their boyfriend and you can’t just stay still... so when one night, when you saw him fixing his tools and telling you before hand that he’d do a live-stream, you knew shit’s about to go down. you won’t literally claim his as yours, but you’d make sure to claim him as yours... and ofcourse, infront of everyone to hear.

【 listen here ! 】

ーーーーーーーーーーー。

Ꮺ ... more to be announced !

taglist : open ! send an ask or comment if you guys are interested, thankyou <3

#sunoo smut #sunoo hard hours #sunoo hard thoughts #enhypen smut #sunoo x y/n #sunoo x reader #enhypen hard hours #enhypen writer #sunnyfucks #enhypen sunoo smut

1K notes · View notes

triasticalwarlock · 2 months

Text

So, I'm ashamed to say I am officially having a sonic faze. I don't know how I got here. I came across a really cool piece of art of dark sonic. And there it was, that little fucking tingle, that little thing you get when ever you look at a fictional character you've liked for, well, a few years. And it comes running back, and you feel like a miserable son of a bitch... because you like THIS DUDE.

Where did I go wrong? I was perfectly fine with hazbin hotel, and the mother fucker called Adam. Also, due to this, I'm starting to realize a pattern. The characters I liked in the past: Leon from pokemon, sonic the hedgehog, bill cipher, Stanford pines, secret history tails, Adam the first man. Am I the only one seeing a pattern? I AM FOR SOME REASON ATTRACTED TO EGOTISTICAL LITTLE SHITS.

Why do I love this mobian? I honestly don't know, prideful man that is reckless and enjoys danger? Doesn't show much vurnability around people, but that one person(us)? I don't know, don't bother asking. But, it could be that it's a hero, with the ability to snap.

I'm talking about this version of the dude. I don't know why, but when ever I see this motherfucker, I feel something. It's like something is stirring my stomach, but in a good way. I don't know how to describe it, all I can say is that it makes me giddy and makes me kick my feet. It's like, cuteness aggression. And, honestly, I want him to baby me in this form. Imagine, the usual calm and looked up to hero, cupping your face and saying something in a baby tone (i think I've been reading to much Lucifer). Also, this has nothing to due with me wanting this man to ram me in. But to the people out there who still think that dark sonic would hurt his friends, get a service dog. Because you clearly blind. The reason sonic ever even turned dark mode was because his friends got hurt, what makes you think he'd intentionally harm them? I needed to say this, because the amount of art I run into that shows dark sonic about to hurt his friends, usually amy or tails, is pissing me off. Service dogs people, service dogs.

And, just a bunch of things of sonic, because I can.

Silly goose

82 notes · View notes

bangchansdirty-slut · 2 months

Text

My Dirty-minded Thoughts Part 1

Masterlist

Just me in my room, thirsting. Also, I am too lazy to put punctuation and fix my grammar because I just used my last brain cell to write the Chan fic. So, yeah, enjoy! (Don't ask me why I used punctuation here. Also, my inbox has been collecting dust for quite a bit, so feel free to request any idol for me to write about.)

Cock Piercing Hyunjin!?

I was literally was just watching edits of him on Instagram Live and I was thinking about maybe writing about Cock Piercing Hyunjin x male reader, like before you guys were official he couldn't get enough of his eyebrow piercing he decide to get another one and he decided to be brave and go with dick piercing cause he heard good things about it but fast forward to when he fucks you and you literally go absolutely crazy and become a moaning mess to the feeling of his pierced cock in you

Office Meeting Fucking!?

IDK if any of you guys have seen the tik toks with that one bl manhwa (I think it's a manhwa but I don't remember) picture where the guy fucks the other guy on the table while having a meeting with everyone there that seems so fucking hot and embarrassing but I really wanna write it anyways. Like imagine him just ramming his cock into you and you are so embarrassed but also a moaning mess so he whispers into your ear

"Don't worry baby there's no need to be embarrassed about they are just some irrelevant employees and if any of them say anything about this or get off to this right now I'll make their lives a living hell."

Idol Yeounjun x Stalker!?

Imagine reader is a stalker who just happened to follow Yeonjun to his secret apartment and Yeonjun is furious so he decides to fuck some sense into reader

Neighbor Chan x Reader!?

Where you had moved into your apartment a while ago and you were doing laundry in the shared laundry mat and you noticed that your dirty underwear kept going missing little did you know your Neighbor Chris who has had a crush on you ever since you moved in, was secretly stealing your undies to jerk off to eventually u caught him and decided to help him out cause he was hot.

#bangchansdirty-slut #My Dirty-minded Thoughts #my mind is far from clean #my mind is fucked #filthy thoughts #my mind is in the gutter #so dirty #stray kids #stray kids smut #kpop smut #kpop x male reader #hyunjin hard hours #chan hard hours #yeonjun hard hours #hornyyy

86 notes · View notes

bess3714 · 1 month

Text

If I were in charge of DC here's what I would do to the Batfam comics in no particular order:

Batman and Robin:

I would send Bruce and Damian on a sabbatical/road trip across America. They of course keep running into crimes wherever they go and solve them, leading a couple of FBI agents to start investigating them for committing the crimes. One FBI agent will remind people of a chihuahua, and the other of a St. Bernard. Also Damian has his permit so he can drive, and since Bruce currently doesn't have a hand in comics I'd add in a plotline where they help an alien who grows back his hand as a reward but he does it wrong and now Bruce has an extra finger.

Batman:

With Bruce and Damian gone, I'd make Tim Batman and Stephanie Robin. They fight crime and bicker like old ex's, leading to some interesting rumors about Batman. I'd make a directive that Tim isn't allowed to be drawn as a twink anymore, but has to be drawn with the rippling muscles he had in the 90's and 00's. Stephanie also gets rippling muscles. Part of the b plot for a while is Stephanie's rivalry with her next-door-neighbor who turns out to be a drug lord, but the drugs he sells are like, insulin and ADHD meds that he and his gang steals because he's a doctor who lost his job for reporting some ethics concerns and now he's mad about the medical system. Stephanie gets mad because in hindsight all the clues were there that he was literally in a gang, and she didn't notice because she thought he was just an asshole. Also they definitely make out at one point.

Detective Comics:

I love what Ram V is doing right now but I think when he's done I'd put Duke Thomas in the main story investigating systemic corruption in Gotham, shining a light (because he's the Signal) on the worst parts of the government. At some point he's accused of murder and the police are all trying to arrest him so he blows up some cop cars and Batman calls to yell at him but he hangs up on Batman. Montoya has a dartboard in her office with a picture of his face on it.

I'd add in an ongoing run of a comic that resembles the original batman comics in style and content. Then I'd have a a bunch of stories with some lesser-known characters, like the Psyba-Rats. I'd really use Tec as a playground to experiment with unusual team-ups, fresh stories, and inventive artstyles.

Birds of Prey:

I like the current lineup but there needs to be 30% more queerbaiting between Barbara and Dinah. There's an issue where Barbara and Dinah pretend to be lesbians to get this himbo to leave Dinah alone because she's trying to let him down easy because he's so damn nice she doesn't want to hurt him. (Has anyone watched Rizzoli and Isles, coincidentally?) I'd also add Helena Bertinelli to the team but she has an eyepatch for inexplicable reasons (the reason is it looks cool). The eyepatch will be dropped without any recognition a few issues later. Barbara drops both Batgirl and Oracle and gets a new identity as the Cloud. Only the Birds of Prey know it's her; everyone else thinks the Cloud may or may not be an evil AI working for Lex Luthor.

Outsiders:

I'm not reading Outsiders so I can't really comment on what I'd do for that one, but if you guys have any ideas let me know and I'll do the opposite, inciting fan fury and starting a Twitter war.

Nightwing:

I would send Dick to live in New York and also I would make him broke and homeless. I thought about making him lose his memory too, but that's already been done so instead I'd give him violent visions of murder and assault so he thinks he's losing his mind but then it turns out to be a secret policy from the new mayor of New York City to quietly round up all the homeless people by releasing gas into the streets at night to knock them out, but Dick has had too much exposure to drugs and poisons for it to work right on him, so instead he gets hallucinations!

Batgirl:

That's right, you'd get a Batgirl ongoing from me! Cassandra Cain would be the main character, and in the first arc I'd have her join a dating app, but then every date she goes on turns out to be with a criminal who she then sends to jail, and just when she's about to give up on dating, on the very last date she goes on the guy tries to force a charter pilot to help him escape by plane but Cass takes him down and the pilot is like "so that was cool. Can I get your number?" and they start dating. After that Cass accidentally joins a gang but she keeps getting gang members sent to jail and no one suspects it's her, only at some point she actually becomes the gang leader. There's then a crossover with Batman where her gang beefs with Stephanie's next-door-neighbor's gang and Cass ends up giving her gang to him peacefully.

Batwoman:

While I'm at it, I'd launch a Batwoman comic. I'd get Chuck Dixon to write it and it would be both wildly homophobic and also the gayest thing you'd ever seen, but eventually ol' Chuck and I would have some creative differences and he would depart, and instead we would have a rotating cast of guest authors. I don't really know much about Batwoman but luckily knowing about a character in order to write them isn't a requirement at DC. I think we need some ghosts so there would be an arc about Batwoman getting haunted by a bunch of angry, vengeful spirits who she thinks are trying to kill her but who are actually trying to lead to their killer. One of the ghosts is a really hot woman and they share a passionate kiss before the ghost girl disappears after Kate gets them justice. The arc would be lauded in some articles as a 'major reversal of the bury your gays trope' because at one point Kate has to dig up their bodies to look for clues, while in other news outlets it would be decried as a 'vile depiction of the desecration of queer final resting places.'

Red Hood and the Outlaws:

Jason starts a club/gym for a group of teenagers where he teaches them cool stuff like 'how to throw a punch' but also 'how to buy and cook groceries'. The gym is threatened by various forces like gangs, developers, the city government, plus the kids all have personal problems they have to deal with, like mental and physical disabilities, generational trauma, homelessness, and poverty. The teenagers call the gym "The Saloon" and themselves "The Outlaws" because Jason always has a TV playing reruns of old western shows. There's a running joke where various people think Jason looks like a dead relative.

Poison Ivy:

I'm a few issues behind but this one I would leave alone. I don't think I could improve on it. Unless I made Janet from HR and Croc an item. That could be fun.

Harley Quinn:

Another one I'm not reading so I don't know what's going on there but it could be fun to have a crossover storyline with Poison Ivy where they grow and sell shrooms to rich college students and then influence them to do stupid stuff and get them arrested. You know, fun date night activities!

Conclusion:

My time in charge of Batman comics would be one of mass outrage and general fervor. My directives would be so unpopular amongst fans that petitions would be started to have me removed and violent death threats towards me would be de rigueur online. I would depart after a few short months and my replacement would almost immediately retcon all my creative decisions away into a dark universe that would then be blown up by Lex Luthor. Ten years later, a dedicated fanbase for the comics produced under me would emerge, and they would be so loud and annoying and insistent that fans would then clamor to get me back in charge of DC once again, but unfortunately by then I will have retired to start drama on Twitter and write a memoir after a failed attempt at starting my own comics company called Big M Comics and getting sued by McDonald's

69 notes · View notes

ystrike1 · 7 months

Text

Yonezawa-san Is Done Being Human - By Eisuke Kawata (7.5/10)

A happy puppy and an evil, abusive yandere boyfriend. At first glance the two men could not possibly be more different, but neither of them are anything close to normal. Here we follow the story of a f**ish call girl, who chooses her sweet and clingy client over her controlling and paranoid high school sweetheart. Wait, is the dog a stalker too?

Haru Yonezawa has a good job. Everybody relies on him. He's calm and kind and a little handsome. He's been dating a beautiful woman for about a year. He's got it made. How does he do it?

Haru is a puppy. When I say that I mean he uses puppy play to decompress after work. He does it multiple times a week, and he loves it. He holds toys in his teeth. He rolls around. He wears big paw gloves so he isn't tempted to do human things while playing.

One day he has a stressful day at work.

He forgets about his at home dinner date with Mei.

She even has a key. He totally forgot because he wanted to play puppy so bad.

....nobody is really in the wrong here. Haru Yonezawa is allowed to be disappointed. They did date for a year, and Mei immediately breaks up with him. Calls him gross. Everything.

But.

He also wasn't honest with her, and a f**ish like this is a big deal.

He's a sub kind of puppy. He wants to be coddled. He knows finding a partner is nearly impossible. Now that Mei is gone buying a rental master isn't cheating. He decides to stay away from traditional dating for awhile, because he needs to satisfy his puppy needs.

He's shocked.

His new master is Mitani! His mousy and unproductive coworker. She's a weak link at work! She always makes mistakes...but she is a gentle and good master. She knows what Haru wants. She's good at giving it. He starts to enjoy playing ten times more.

Mitani is genuinely into it by the way. She thinks Haru's sub behavior is super cute.

Hooray.

Validation.

Praise!!!!

Let the weirdness begin!

Participating in f**ish play is totally normal. Having a secret second job in this economy is also totally fine....they agree to meet up regularly. Consent. Cool.

Haru follows Mitani home one day.

Um.

That's how he finds out a terrible truth. Mitani has a boyfriend, but she's stuck working two jobs because he's an abusive creep. He told her to be a call girl, to test her loyalty??? What? He's totally twisted. She's been with him for four years, and he's a loser. He's a failed musician, and he blames her for literally everything. It's brutal.

It's bloody.

Things escalate.

Mitani is DEEP in an abusive relationship. Yuki, her first crush and love, has become a total monster. Haru starts ramming into her private life to save her. It's heroic and cool and I'm not gonna lie it's a little weird. His intuition is spot on though.

Mitani is with Yuki for two reasons.

Pity, and fear.

Haru admits that Mitani is the perfect master. That's why he's so attached to her, but he can't let her suffer. He can't enjoy her services and send her home to a monster. He can't be a dumb dog. He can't sit in his safe home and wait for her.

She resists. She thinks her fear is love, but Haru shows her puppy love. Total joy. He embraces being a dog eager for love, so she can feel the affection she's missing in her relationship.

Yuki has been recording her.

Her twisted, possessive, deadbeat, guitar playing boyfriend planted a recorder in her phone. Specifically so he could record her play sessions with other men. So he could be certain that no "real sexual stuff" was happening. When Mitani shows real affection for her customer, Haru Yonezawa, Yuki goes ballistic. He starts threatening to send pictures of her as a call girl to her company. He actually does it. Her identity almost gets exposed but she finds the envelope before it gets opened. He says he'll email the recordings he has to the customer service email.

He is truly evil.

Yuki only loses because Haru and Mitani team up. Mitani temporarily moves in with Haru. Then Yuki uses ANOTHER tracking device to find the apartment. He breaks in. A fight breaks out, and Mitani hits him. She fights back for the first time.

She cries.

She says it's over.

Yuki blinks.

He packs his things. He shakes her hand. He says he knows they can never meet again. The cops don't get involved. It's all very real. Mitani cuts him off. No financial support. No free place to live. The loser yandere has to leave.

The last arc is nuts.

Mitani has to save Haru from a female yandere. It's even messier.

#Yonezawa-san Is Done Being Human #yandere #male yandere #yandere male #yandere boy #recommendations #recs #rec #recommended #seinen

161 notes · View notes

theriverbeyond · 1 month

Note

this is such a random question, but on the subject of theories i was wondering what would have happened if john and the erebos had arrived at the aftermath of canaan house before boe and found the non-lyctor survivors. like would he have just let corona, judith, and camilla go home or get rid of them because they knew too much? is “knowing too much” even a concern for john? for some reason neither option feels totally right to me, but i would love to hear your thoughts!

I honestly think he would let them go home! I think one of John's major flaws is he fundementally both misunderstands and underestimates the people he sees as "his", and I think this does extend into the houses.

I don't think he would see non-Lyctors as any kind of threat, even if he knew that said non-Lyctors had figured out the secret to Lyctorhood. At most I think he would sew their tongues but honestly I think he would take one look at Judith "on life support from catastrophic gut wound" Deuteros, Camilla "catatonic with grief" Hect, Coronabeth "inconsolable because Ianthe age Babs and not her" Tridentarius and be like wow! these kids are having a bad time I should send them home to their parents.

Remember -- if John had arrived at Canaan House before BOE, this is *before* BOE took out 18,000 soldiers with orbital radiation missiles. this is *before* Augustine's betrayal, and Mercymorn's, and *before* the Sixth House defected. The only betrayal John would have felt was Cytherea's, and she failed, and as we see in HtN he mostly pities her.

I do think this could lead to a very interesting AU wherein Camilla is sent home (with the bones in her pocket), Judith is fixed up with proper medical care from the start (and then packed back off to the cohort), and Coronabeth is probably (on request) taken to the Erebos with Ianthe.

I can see this leading to Camilla spending a lot of time trying to free Palamedes' soul while on the Sixth, potentially needing to join the cohort (Alexandrite Cam, anyone?) so she can reconnect with Judith, who despite having several sticks up her ass is the only person Cam feels she can really go to about this (due to them both being the only people left in the Dominicus system who actually know what happened at Canaan House). Maybe Camilla convinces Judith to poke around in the skull bones -- Judith isn't as good as Harrow, but maybe they do bring back some shadow of Palamedes into the bones.

THEN maybe eventually they run into Coronabeth, who perhaps was not allowed all the way to the Mithraeum, but WAS given some sort of very strategic and fancy seat in the cohort so Ianthe can keep tabs on her. A very nepotism hire situation, and despite Ianthe's desire to keep her safe Coronabeth HATES it all because she was once again left behind. When the opportunity to track down Ianthe arises, she takes it.

I see this unfolding over several years post GtN timeline. Perhaps the three of them end up collaborating with other characters along the way that they feel they can trust, some more likely than others -- Mia (Pro's wife) and her children, now grown enough to want more information about their father's death. Ram and Capris Asht, who don't believe that their brother would kill the eighth house heir he had sworn to protect. Kiana can get in here too. maybe the Third house Boy Who Loved Shuttles helps them with a getaway once. Abigail's younger brother, who she named as her heir -- maybe he helps with Palamedes' soul. Jeannemary and Issac's younger siblings. A neo-niner or two -- John renewed the house, and involving a character or three that was ressurected from our modern times would be super interesting and also fill out our merry band. Maybe the neo-niners Remember Things that make Cam connect some dots.

Harrow is still out there, obviously, and in this AU I am imagining Number 7 as NOT speeding up and really taking 5 years to get there, just to even out the time line and allow all that to happen before Number 7 comes and Augustine drowns the Mithraeum.

anyway. events occur, things happen, and intrigue abounds. Alecto awakens, Harrow Remembers, Ianthe doesn't get the girl. Cam is on a warpath. Judith is dragged alongside. Coronabeth isn't going to be left behind again.

what was your question again? this answer has gotten deeply out of hand

#ask #anon #tlt au #idk what happened to this answer anon. something posessed me #im rotating this all now....#also forgor to add gideon's body to this...#i imagine she was taken and stored along w naberius' body #both put on ice. her incorruptibility isn't noticed bc they put her in the cav freezer.#etc. things happen

57 notes · View notes