#basically this is just an explanation of why exactly they didn’t get sent back in this au cause like. idk if it will really be explained on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

makeste · 3 years

Text

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua and @class1akids’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

553 notes · View notes

robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Note

Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan qiren #su she #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #a good fit

338 notes · View notes

tsunonotarou · 4 years

Text

AZUL, JADE, FLOYD

— asking them to be your fake boyfriend

summary: Reader rushes to Octavinelle urging to sign a contract with Azul, reader’s wish is to have one of them (Azul, Jade or Floyd) to become their fake boyfriend in order to get rid of a persistent student who kept bothering them.

: gender-neutral reader!

OCTAVINELLE

Azul weren’t particularly pleased when he was informed that someone barged into Mostro Lounge and started requesting for his presence, but oh well, they might just want to sign a contract, it’s a win for him, he gathered Jade and Floyd by his side

You dismissed Azul, didn’t even bother listening to the terms and conditions and tell him to “just get on with it”

He silently huffed at your behavior, but you’re the one who didn’t want to listen to the terms and conditions, your loss. You have no right to complain later

The Leech brothers raised their brows at you, what a bold one you are

“So, what is your wish?” Azul leaned back comfortably

“I want someone in your dorm to be my fake boyfriend because this little pest wouldn’t stop bothering me.”

Azul’s eyes widened, so did Jade’s and Floyd’s, though a grin quickly stretched out on the twins’ lips

“Heh~ this is an unusual request, Shrimpy! It sounds fun!”

“Indeed, Floyd. I have never heard of such wish during the time I’ve spent with Azul. Truly surprising.”

Azul comprehended the situation quickly, giving a light chuckle and a wave of hand, placing a pen down and of course, the contract

“Very well, I shall assign one of my dorm members to assist you.”

He halted when your hand slammed onto the paper, stopping his movements

“I don’t want just any dorm member,”

Azul didn’t felt good

“I want someone intimidating or has enough authority to get him off my ass.”

“...”

“More specifically, I want one of you guys.” You pointed at the three of them, who had their eyes wide open

Who do you choose?

Azul Ashengrotto

Jade Leech

Floyd Leech

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

“M-Me?” His calm demeanor faltered and stuttered, pointing a finger at himself to confirm your answer, his cheeks dusted light pink when you nodded firmly

He could hear held back laughs behind him, which he sent glares to the twins in return

He cleared his throat, sitting up straighter and stiffer. “Well, then.”

He will always find you after class to make your “relationship” look more realistic and kind of indirectly telling people that you’re together or get the idea of it

He’ll also have lunch with you while trying his best to ignore teasing gazes from the Tweels

If you tell him it’s fine and he doesn’t have to stick with you all the time, he’ll dismiss it and say it’s better to get the job done earlier and hides the fact that he quite enjoy his time with you

You assume that they didn’t dare to talk to you because Azul’s with you, and that was true as they suddenly dragged you to a corner when you’re alone walking

They talked about how they didn’t know you were acquainted with Azul and demands an explanation, just being very rude and confusing in general

“Ah~ I see. So you are the one who Y/N mentioned.” The familiar voice made you sigh in relief while they froze in fear

Azul would place a gentle hand on your waist, securing you close as he looks down on the cowering student, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes quickly turned into a bored stare

“I’d appreciate it if you would stop pestering my lover.” The cold gaze and intimidating aura from Octavinelle’s dorm head had them scurrying off after a series of stuttered apologies

Azul made sure they’ve gone far away before quickly making space between you two to not make you uncomfortable, faking a cough as the front he put up dissolved

“So, for payment...”

He states that he has not made up his mind about what the payment will be, but he’s internally debating whether to ask you out on a date as payment or not ;)

Since Azul often visits you after class, even when this whole incident has thankfully stopped, he still finds you after class out of habit

And when he realized he just stood there blushing while enduring your smile

Maybe this will be the start of your story together

JADE LEECH

“Oh? Me?” STOP FUCKING RAISING YOUR EYEBROWS IM FUDHDKSOFJSO

He’d agree to help without a second thought because this might be amusing

He sticks by your side now, literally

You tried politely telling him how just following you around won’t do anything, he’s like a butler

He raised a brow before a smirk stretched on his lips, the next thing you knew you find yourself trapped in between him and the solid wall

Leaning down to get eye level with you, he mused. “Are you indicating something more...intimate?”

You fainted

After that he started to get more serious as you just realize that he was playing around all the while, now only truly intending to help you with your problem

He walks you to class everyday, making sure you’re in the classroom before going off to his own class

Of course he made sure to leave gentle caresses here and there, on your cheeks, hands, arms or lightly fixing your hair for you

These small yet loud gestures attracted attention, they would definitely catch wind of it. Once they knew you’re acquainted with Jade they’d immediately stop their disturbing chase, avoiding you now, even

But Jade wouldn’t let his fun die so soon, he knew they had been staring all this while, sneaking around stealing glances and followed you two

He’d personally find them to have a good talk, asking why were they bothering you exactly

Jade threatened gave them a light warning, as if scolding little kids with that charming smile and unusually calm tone of his

It wasn’t long before his face twisted into a sadistic expression along with a as equally sadistic grin, as if making fun of their foolish and pathetic self

During the time he spent with you made him know you more as a person and he finds you entertaining

Maybe he’ll invite you to Mostro Lounge when he’s done dealing with this pest, treating you to a cup of tea or a beverage of your liking and continue on with the conversation you two left off earlier

FLOYD LEECH

“Heh~? Me? Okay, I’ll squeeze them for you, Shrimpy!”

Clings to you 24/7, partly because of the need to guard you but mostly because of how soft you are and he just loves squishing you

He demands asks you to go to his basketball trainings/games, have lunch together under a large tree and just generally playing around with each other

You sometimes think that he forgot what all this was about, you’re not complaining, though, it’s fun being with Floyd

Really touchy, likes resting his chin on your head while he puts his arms on your shoulders and basically placing his entire weight on you

Your interactions, of course, were noticed by others

Floyd was waiting for them, the “annoying person” you were talking about, but they just won’t come out! Maybe they’re set on hiding when he’s near you

It was one of the rare times when you were alone without Floyd by your side and unsurprisingly, they came and started babbling like nothing’s wrong, making you extremely uncomfortable with their subtle touches

Their wrist was grabbed harshly, Floyd’s long fingers gripping around it so hard you swear it would’ve broke if he went any further, Floyd’s expression was dangerous, eyes wide as he glares down on them, a visible frown on his face

His smile only appeared when he faces you, telling you to wait for him in the interior hallway

You were uncertain but did as he told

It took a while for Floyd to come back to you, maybe he took his time toying with them

Acts as if nothing happened, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you away to the cafeteria or Mostro Lounge

“Shrimpy~ they were no fun, you know? Weren’t even fun to squeeze!”

Cupping your hands around his face and squish it lightly while giving him your cute smile definitely cheers him up, so do that

If you do that, he’ll immediately make the both of you sit down on the ground (no matter where you are at that moment) and pull you in, his legs are long enough to circle around you so you’re kinda sitting in his little bubble of area if you know what I mean

He considered placing you on his lap but it’s probably too soon for that now, he’ll save it for next time

He grabbed your hands once more and placed them on his cheeks, continue what you were doing before! It’s cute and he likes it

#twisted wonderland #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #octavinelle x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #azul x reader #jade x reader #floyd x reader #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland azul x reader #twisted wonderland jade x reader #twisted wonderland floyd x reader

3K notes · View notes

queen--kenobi · 3 years

Text

It Will Come Back (You Know Better Babe)

Summary: The galaxy is in disarray after the rise of the Empire. You’re searching for someone, anyone, who can potentially overthrowing the Empire’s growing tyrannical rule. A stranger by the name of Arrolier seems like the best bet. Perhaps he needs you as much as you need him.

Pairings: Sith!Obi-wan Kenobi x fem!reader

Warnings: Allusions to torture and murder, some discussion of class differences, NSFT (Unprotected PiV, dirty talk, f!receiving oral, some D/s dynamics, hair pulling, implied brat!Obi-wan), subtle manipulation

18+

Author’s note: Here it is! The long awaited sith!Obi-wan piece! It took me a hot minute to get this done, but I’m really happy with what I’ve got

It starts simple. It starts with a necklace.

Despite your best efforts, you keep on looking at it. You want something like it. It’s emeralds with gold connecting the precious stones. You feel guilty for wanting something like it. You’re supposed to be a representative of your people, trying to help them. Having something like that would feel as if you’re trying to prove you’re better than them. Nevermind that everyone here seemed to be wearing something that elevated them from the common folk.

The irony isn’t lost on you. The whole purpose of working alongside Arrolier is to fight the Empire. It was clear the Empire didn’t have people’s best interests at heart. Then again, you’re not sure the Resistance did either. They certainly didn’t have the manpower to put up a fight. As much as you respected Bail Organa, you don’t think his people will be ready to move for years.

Your people had already thrown behind Arrolier. You had been sent to get an idea of what exactly Arrolier might want from your group. You weren’t a General; you had no knowledge of military tactics. No, you were sent in as a negotiator. You would relay whatever he wanted back, and the General would okay it. You had been chosen because, while the General knew how to make the most of military resources, his people skills were lacking to say the least.

Arrolier had delivered on quite a number of his promises already, despite the fact no one knew much about him. Sure, everyone knew he was charming and handsome and intelligent, but beyond that, everything else was just rumors. It didn’t help that he had a contingent of men that all kept their faces covered. The rumors ranged from a sect of Mandalorians that had someone survived to clones to species from the Outer Rim that didn’t know Basic.

You knew, though. At least, you’re pretty sure you know. Something tells you that the men are clones. You chalk it up to the identical builds and to the fact that these men clearly know what they’re doing. It’s the only logical explanation in your mind. How could Arrolier acquire what amounted to an army in the space of a year or two without it being clones? That raised more questions than answers for you, though. The clones had supposedly turned on their Generals and killed all of them, slaughtered them ruthlessly. The surviving ones went back to Coruscant to serve the Empire until they died or were decommissioned.

How then would Arrolier have gotten his hands on a whole battalion, maybe more, of clones? That didn’t make sense. Not unless he had been a Jedi who was able to remove the chips or alter them in some way. Going that far made you feel like a conspiracy theorist. Nothing about Arrolier suggested to you that he was a Force user. Sure, he seemed to be good at reading the room and knowing what people were thinking, but that didn’t mean he was a Force user.

You hoped. He kept on giving you odd looks whenever those thoughts would cross your mind during the meeting. You never saw them, but you could feel them.

You huff and throw the blankets off you. This train of thought isn’t helping you sleep. Not that you were going to be able to sleep anyway. As tiring as the day had been, being shown around areas of the current planetary base, you couldn’t sleep. You knew why. Everyone else around you seemed to display status symbols, things that differentiated them from the people they swore to serve. You didn’t have those things. All you had was an innate ability to speak and a scrappy attitude. You didn’t have money or resources, none of your people did. You shouldn’t feel inferior because you don’t have those things.

That didn’t help. The feeling of inferiority grew inside of you, steadily building. It ratcheted up your anxiety, making it difficult for you to sleep.

You slip out of bed and throw on some clothes. If you can’t sleep, you might as well explore. You were pretty sure you saw a sign for some gardens. That would be a good place to wander aimlessly.

It was.

You’re not sure how long you’re there before you stumble across a beautiful flower. It looks like it could be an orchid, but you’ve never seen one quite like it. It seems almost iridescent. It’s clearly delicate; you feel as if you could hurt it by looking at it for too long.

“That’s a Century flower.” A voice calls from behind you. You nearly jump. Arrolier smiles at you as he walks forward. His hands are clasped behind his back. He’s not shrouded in shadows right now. You still can’t make out much, but he seems young, maybe in his 30s. He’s got a beard, and his eyes sparkle with barely contained mischief at your reaction. They’re golden. How did you miss that his eyes were golden before? “I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay. I’m easy to scare, so no harm done.” You give him a wry smile before turning back to look at the flower again. “It’s beautiful.”

“Yes. King Alaric of Thustra grew them. I’m not entirely sure how someone managed to smuggle one out, but I am grateful. It’s quite beautiful. Very delicate and sensitive.” He stops when he’s standing beside you. He tilts his head as he looks at it. “The work that goes into keeping it alive is a lot, I’ve been told.”

“It’s worth it.” You murmur. “You don’t see things like this every day.”

“No. You don’t.” You can feel him turn to study you. “I’m surprised you’re so enthralled by this flower. You’re from Raydonia, are you not?”

“I grew up on Raydonia. It’s mostly trees there, but you do see some flowers.” How did he know you were from Raydonia? Your look of surprise must have shown on your face.

“I make a habit of learning about those I work with. A safety precaution. I’m sure you understand.” You nod. That makes sense to you. “I do hope I’m not overstepping any boundaries, but you weren’t just talking about the Century orchid, were you?”

You cross your arms over your chest. You aren’t sure why his words make you go on the defense, despite the fact you don’t think he had any ill intent behind them. “I was. But you’re right. I don’t get to see a lot of beautiful things often.”

“Such a shame. You deserve to see beautiful things often and as much as you’d like.” You turn your head to look at him. You’d think he’s mocking you if it weren’t for how sincere his tone was. His expression shows utmost sincerity. You clear your throat.

“I... Thank you. I appreciate that.” You can feel your cheeks heat up. He smiles at you. It’s a slow smile, as if your reaction is refreshing.

“I would like to stay and chat for a while, but I’m afraid that my right hand man has noticed my absence by now.” He inclines his head. “I do hope that this isn’t the only time I get to speak with you.”

“I- Yeah, I hope so too.” You stumble over your words for a second. He is gracious enough to not verbally acknowledge it. You do see the slight twitch of his lips. You look back at the flower and study for a second. When you look back to where he was a second ago, he’s gone. You frown. You didn’t hear him walk away; it just felt as if he let the shadows consume him.

The next day he calls for you. You aren’t sure if he wants to actually start negotiations or because he wants to impress you more with what he could achieve. A man in plastoid armor leads you to what you assume is the negotiating table in the compound. You try to look for any distinguishing characteristics on his armor, something to tell him apart. You can feel him raise his eyebrows at you.

“Sorry. I just... It feels weird not to know anything about you or not be able to figure out if I run into you again.” You profess. “What’s... Are you allowed to give me your name? If so, what is it?”

He’s silent for a long moment. You think that you might have offended him in some way before he eventually speaks.

“It’s Boil.” Something underneath his tone lets you know that he doesn’t get asked that a lot. You nod.

“Okay. Boil. I’ll remember that.” You note that he looks to have a maroon arrow on one side as well as another symbol you can’t quite make out. That’s okay. You think you have enough to identify him.

Boil stops in front of a set of doors and knocks.

“Do come in.” A voice from the inside calls. Boil opens the doors before stepping aside to let you in. You smile at him.

“Thank you, Boil. I do appreciate you bringing her to me.” Arrolier lounges on a chair. He smiles at the soldier. You smile at Boil as well.

“Thank you, Boil.” You keep your voice soft and low. He leaves and closes the door behind him, but you can tell your acknowledgement meant something to him from the way he stiffened before relaxing. It’s like he was expecting something worse from you. You turn back to face Arrolier.

A set of large windows, floor to ceiling ones, are on one side of the room. Arrolier lounges in a chair in front of them, looking for all the world a King. Behind him, you can see another man. From appearances alone, you can tell that this man must be his second in command. The uniform alone tells you that he’s in a position of power and trust. Much to your surprise, he doesn’t have a helmet on right now. Instead, he’s bare-faced.

He’s a clone.

Well. That lends more credence to your early hypothesis. Arrolier waves his hand towards you and then towards the clone behind him.

“My dear, I’d like you to meet my second in command, Cody. Cody, this is the lovely woman I was telling you about earlier.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Your tone is sincere. Cody merely dips his head in brief acknowledgement.

“I must confess something.” Arrolier begins. You feel transfixed by his gaze. “I had an idea of what I might require from your group before I met you, but. I’m afraid all of that went out the window when I saw you.” A lump begins to form in your throat. You listen carefully. He shakes his head with a small smile. “Oh, it’s nothing to worry about, my dear. On the contrary, I think you’ll quite like what I have to say.” He leans forward, his elbows braced on his thighs. “I do wish to ask you something before I begin. What tipped you off?”

“Tipped me off to what?” You blink. He ‘tsk’s.

“Come now. I expect better from you.” The temperature in the room drops a few degrees. You feel something like a hand wrap around your wrists and tug you forward. Your eyes widen, and you instantly try to sink your feet into the carpet. The invisible force only pulls hard. Force. Your panicked gaze meets his. The Force pulls you until you’re standing a foot or two away from Arrolier.

“You’re... Shit! Sith hells!” You swear. Arrolier laughs, a low and delighted sound.

“Close, my dear, but still off. I’m not a Jedi anymore. Just because I tend to use the dark side more often than the light doesn’t mean I’m a Sith.” He gives you a cheeky grin. “What tipped you off?”

“Your men.” You try to keep your breathing even. This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all. He’s not going to kill you; you can tell that much. That doesn’t mean he won’t hurt you. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. “They were too... similar. The way they walked, their builds. I had heard the rumors you might have a clone army, so I guess it stuck with me? But it didn’t make sense. How could you have one? We know what the Empire is doing to them, and there’s no way you could have found an illegal source. Not without more rumors or someone spilling the beans. It just made the most logical sense for you to be a General during the wars.”

You realize you’re rambling. You open your eyes. Arrolier leans back with a sly smile.

“Well done. You’re the first person to figure it out, and your logic is quite good.” He looks back at Cody. Cody looks down at him and raises an eyebrow. “I told you that she was quite clever. What do you think?’

Cody appears to consider for a moment. Your heartbeat thunders in your chest. The feeling of something around your wrists hasn’t eased up, but you still test it anyway. Arrolier isn’t looking at you, but you can still see his smirk at your actions.

“I think we could find some use for her.” Cody looks at you. His words are dripping with intent, but you aren’t sure how much trouble it spells out for you. Arrolier dips his head in acknowledgement before turning back to you.

“I have a proposition for you.” He temples his fingers together. His eyes gleam. “I will support your people’s efforts in resisting the Empire’s control. I will provide them with whatever support they need, be it financial or military. Anything that they ask, they shall have. On one condition.”

“Which is?”

“I want you to stay here with me. Specifically, I want you to work for me. I think that your skills could be very valuable when it comes to helping some smaller groups decide their allegiances. I caught you thinking about how some of these groups seem... dissociated from their people. I’m not sure they even know what their people want anymore. You do. Your services would be invaluable because of that.”

You watch his face. You’re not sure exactly what you’re looking for, maybe a sign that he’s lying or has terrible intentions. Instead, you find none of that. He seems sincere. You wonder if you’re being played for a second. The feeling leaves, although you still feel uneasy.

“Is there a catch?” You finally voice your inner thoughts.

“If you consider promising your allegiance to me and only me a catch, then yes. Other than that, no. I have no wish to control you. Everything that you do is of your own free will.” Arrolier studies your face. Again, you catch no insincerity. This seems to be a truly genuine offer. He has to have some sort of ulterior motive, but for the life of you, you can’t seem to figure it out. “Remember. You do this, and I will back your people however they need. I’ll make sure that they’re taken care of.”

Dammit.

Dammit dammit dammit. You know he’s playing you by saying that, but you still feel a surge of guilt. You shouldn’t be considering saying no when he could help. Besides, it sounds more like only you will be beholden to him, not everyone else. You close your eyes and sigh. Your tongue comes out to wet suddenly dry lips. You open your eyes again.

“Yeah. I’ll do it.”

Arrolier smiles. You’re sure in another life he would have been positively beaming. Instead, it’s more subdued. yet no less pleased. smile.

“Excellent. We can go ahead and discuss what your people might need.”

The two of you go over everything. You cover what exactly your faction needs and what you’ll want in return for staying. He covers what exactly he expects of you. It ends up being a long meeting, but it is certainly worth it. You feel.... Well, relaxed isn’t exactly the right word. You still feel somewhat as if you’ve made a deal with the devil, but you feel more confident in the deal.

You make your way back to your room for the night. Another guard escorts you, not Boil. You should have asked his name, but you’re so tired from your day that you forget. You open the door and slip into them, shucking your shoes off. Arrolier promised you new quarters. You know that they’ll be much closer to him in the event that you’re needed in an emergency. You don’t know how the arrangements will work on a ship when you travel with him. That’s a problem for another day. Right now, you’re more concerned about sleeping.

You pause. Something is on the caf table. Instantly, you assume the worst. Sheer panic surges through you until you remember this place is protected. Nothing truly dangerous would have gotten into this place. Besides, the only people who knew you were here were your people.

Those thoughts lower your heart race. Still, you pad over to the caf table cautiously. It’s a small box. It looks like one of those boxes in the marketplace at the high-end stalls that could afford to be inside instead of out. You pick it up. A piece of flimsi is attached to it, which makes you raise an eyebrow. You weren’t aware that flismi was still a thing.

My dear,

I do hope this isn’t too presumptive of me, but I thought that you might enjoy something like this. Consider it the first of many gifts.

Arrolier

You frown softly. You reread the note again. Hesitantly, you open the box. You gasp in surprise when you see the contents. A hand goes over your mouth, and you nearly drop the box.

It’s a necklace.

It looks like the one you were eying the other day, but it’s more beautiful. You don’t know how to explain it; it just is. It’s honestly stunning. You stare at it for a second. Your fingers reach out to pick it up. You stop yourself. You have to shake your head almost violently to get that thought out of your mind. Not a day ago, you were mentally bitching about people wearing things like this and how far removed from their people they were. For you to even own something like this is...

Another piece of flimsi catches your eye. It was placed under the necklace box. Carefully, you set it down and pick up the flimsi.

P.S.

I understand any reluctance you might have to wearing this in public. I do request that you keep this for special events that you accompany me to. The appearance of wealth goes a long way sometimes.

You stare at the necklace. You wouldn’t have to wear it every day. He was right; the appearance of wealth could go a long way. You huff softly. The problem of how exactly did he get this into your room occurs to you, but you sweep the thought aside. He probably has keys to every room in this building and had one of the clones drop it off.

You run one of your fingers lightly along the gold filigree on it. It wouldn’t... It wouldn’t hurt to try it on. Would it? Carefully, almost reverently, you lift it out of the box. You go over to the mirror in your room. You arrange your hair so you can easily slip the necklace on. It’s a little tricky to collapse by yourself, but you manage to get it. You look at your reflection.

Maker. It’s... It’s gorgeous. One of your hands comes up to rest just under it. It’s not a carbon copy; the gemstones in it are different from the one you saw the other day. They bring out your eyes. You logically know that you aren’t any different but looking at your reflection, you feel different. You feel elegant and gorgeous and powerful in a way. You close your eyes.

After a moment, you take it off with reluctance. You’ll save it for special events like he asked. It’s absolutely breath-taking, but you can’t wear this every day. It’s not you. You put it back in the box with the same care you took it out.

You grab your comm. You need to go ahead and let your people know what the verdict is. There’s a lot of work to be done.

You’re right. The work is almost never-ending. Six months later, it sometimes feels as if you haven’t made a dent in any of it. You know you have; several battles have been won by Arrolier’s people, by your people. You suppose you should call them what they are. The group you started out with are not just your people. Almost anyone who works for Arrolier you lump into the category of your people as well, especially the ones you helped bring aboard.

You often work on reports in Arrolier’s chambers. You originally started doing so because you often needed to clarify things with him. When you began to understand what exactly was needed, you began to retreat more towards your own space. He surprised you by insisting that you stay with him as you worked on them so you wouldn’t have to waste time trying to track him down if you ran into something more difficult.

You suspect he likes your company.

Well, scratch that. You know for a fact he does.

At first, you thought that he flirted like this with everyone. It took you a while to realize that yes, he did flirt with everyone, but he never flirted with them like he did you. It was never to the degree that he did with you, and he always seemed more sincere when it was with you. Lately, you’d caught him staring at your lips several times. When you caught him and raised an eyebrow at him, he’d come back with some witty comment that made your cheeks heat up and you want to hide your face.

“Arrolier?” You frown. You’ve been going over some of the finer details of a proposal. Something about this particular group had given you a bad feeling, as if they thought they were pulling the wool over your eyes. You followed your guts and went over what they had suggested.

“It’s Obi-wan.” You look up, confused. You had been so focused on your work, you weren’t sure you heard him right. Your gaze meets his. His golden eyes seem warmer than they normally do. “My... My real name is Obi-wan. I’d like you to call me that.”

“Obi-wan.” You repeat. His gaze softens. You knew that name, how did yo- Your head snaps back to look at him. “You’re... I thought h- you had died! That’s what The Empire has been saying!”

“We both know The Empire lies.” He leans back in his chair, a smug and self-satisfied smirk making its way onto his face. “I’m very much alive. He pauses and quirks an eyebrow. “I assume that it goes without saying that you only call me by my real name when it’s just the three of us.”

You know he’s including Cody in that. Cody wasn’t present at the moment, having been sent on an important mission only Arr- Obi-wan trusted him to do. You nod.

“Of course.” You dip your head in acknowledgement. You’ve completely forgotten what you were going to ask him about. You look at your holopad to try and find what it was again. You pause and look up at him again. “Obi-wan?”

“Yes?” He gives you an amused look.

“Why Arrolier?”

He gives you a slightly crooked grin. “When I... Well, I suppose the Jedi would say I fell, but I don’t particularly like that phrase. When things changed, I knew that I had to come up with a new name. I didn’t particularly like any of the options until I realized that what would have been considered my greatest weakness before were now my greatest strengths. The two more common insults that had been hurled my way were cavalier and arrogant. I thought that combining the two would make for a nice moniker. I figured it would do until I could come up with a better one, but I did become fond of it.”

You nod. You can understand that.

“Well, Obi-wan,” You begin cautiously. “I found something in this proposal you might want to look at.” You hold the datapad out to him. He takes it and skims it. His eyes light up with a violent fire when he sees what you’ve highlighted.

“Yes. I was afraid of that.” He looks at you. “That’s what I sent Cody out to deal with. I got the distinct feeling they were trying something, and since you had it as well, I figured it would be better to deal with now. I’m glad you found this, though. It will make what Cody does a little easier to explain.”

You try to repress a shudder at the implications of his tone. That was the one thing that still got to you, the fact that you had to kill traitorous people. It made sense, but it still bothered you a lot. You tried not to dwell on it too much. You can feel Obi-wan scan your face.

“My dear.” You look at him. “May I ask you something? Consider it an exchange for information I just gave you.”

“Of course.” Truth be told, he could ask you about anything that he wanted. Over the course of the last six months, you had learned to trust him. While he could be violent, he wasn’t with you. He seemed to hold a certain fondness for you. He leans forward some.

“I don’t mean to pry into your personal life, but I’ve noticed you don’t seem to... entertain much. I know it might not be my place. It just seems odd is all.”

Heat washes over you when you get the implications of his statement. You clear your throat and look away from him in an attempt to collect yourself. He’s not wrong; you hadn’t hooked up with anyone. It’s not from self-consciousness or a lack of partners. You know that several people find you attractive and would probably jump at the chance. You’d even considered them but it just never felt right. You’d think about inviting them into your bed, and something seemed off. Maybe it was that they weren’t clever enough or maybe it was that their smile was wrong. Sometimes you swore their eyes were wrong, as if instead they should have golden eyes. The first time you had that thought, the temperature in the room dropped slightly. It stopped eventually, but you always found that strange.

Your eyes close for a second. You take a deep breath.

“I guess no one has seemed right is all.” You manage. That wasn’t strictly a lie. It wasn’t the entire truth either. Obi-wan hums. He leans forward a little more.

“Are you sure that’s the reason?” His tone takes on a teasing edge. You huff. You turn your head to give him a mock glare.

“Yes, I am.” You don’t meet his eyes. It’s hard to glare at him and not look him dead in the eyes, but you try your best. He lets out an amused noise before leaning back. He hands back your datapad. When you take it back, your fingers brush against his for a second. A current of electricity seems to jolt up your spine. You look down at the screen and begin reading again. It takes you a moment to remember that he said the problem was being taken care of. You exit out of that document and pull up another one.

He doesn’t need to know that distracted you, made you forget what just happened. You suspect he knows, though. You can feel him grinning even if you’re making a point of not looking at him.

Gods. He must have done that on purpose. You can’t seem to get the idea out of your head over the next several weeks. It’s so dumb, but you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, thinking about him. It’s driving you crazy. It’s all you can think about. You try to think about other things, you really do. Your brain keeps on coming back to it despite yourself.

It doesn’t help that he seems to need you for more things more often. You’re almost always by his side. This isn’t a trick on his end’ one of the factions he’s backing might have spies among them. It requires both of your attention. Obi-wan, or more accurately Arrolier because he is very much that man in those dealings, has to deal with a lot of the leadership. You, for your part, are taking what the leadership says and using it to try and identify the mole. You know a good portion of the people. You made a point to get to know them. You’re working with any unintentional clues or leads to sniff out the source yourself.

Eventually, the mole is found. It’s one of the last people you would suspect. Then again, they wouldn’t have been a particularly good mole if they were suspicious. Still, it hits something within you. You should have known, should have put two and two together. It shouldn’t have gotten this far. Maybe if you had figured it out, they wouldn’t have to die such a brutal death. They could have died in a far less painful way.

Obi-wan clearly senses this. He offers you into his private quarters later for a drink. You gratefully accept. It’s a much needed distraction.

“My dear.” You haven’t had a whole lot to drink; just enough to loosen up some and help get your mind at ease. You look at him. It occurs to you that Obi-wan has barely drank anything. “May I ask you another question?”

“Of course.” You grin at him. He could ask anything he wants. Carefully, he sets his mostly filled glass aside. He leans forward. You mirror his movements subconsciously.

“About our conversation several weeks ago.” He begins carefully. “Cody has brought to my attention something that I hadn’t considered before.”

“Oh?” You raise an eyebrow. Your heart beat picks up slightly. Dammit. Of course Cody would pick up on it. Everyone knew that Obi-wan was observant. Cody was actually more observant than him.

“He’s had almost a lifetime of picking up on things that I might have missed. He was bound to notice this.” Obi-wan’s closer now. You didn’t realize he was leaning in more until just now. You look at him. Despite yourself, your eyes grow wide. “I’d like to test his theory.”

“And how are you gonna do that?”

“Simple.” He smirks at you, and oh. That shouldn’t do the things it does to you. “I’m going to ask you a question.”

You wait for a beat. Maybe two. The silence stretches on. You become painfully aware of your own breathing. His golden eyes bore into yours.

“May I kiss you?” He asks it as if he knows the answer but wants to make sure. His tone is gentle, surprisingly so. You nod. All you can do is nod.

He leans forward more, and you respond. He cups your cheek before kissing you. Your eyes flutter closed. He’s a good kisser. An excellent kisser, actually. One of your hands automatically finds the back of his neck to pull him closer while the other fists into his normal pristine shirt. He nips at your lower lip before pulling away. He smiles at you. Your heart beat stutters. You have no doubt you have an almost glazed over look in your eyes. He moves his thumb inward towards your mouth. He presses lightly on your lower lip, and you part them automatically.

You’re increasingly aware of your heart beat, of how your breath is loud in the silence. You can feel your chest rise and fall with each movement. He looks you in the eye. You feel pinned in place by his gaze in the best of ways.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.” He murmurs. He grins at you. It’s almost roguish. “May I do it again?”

“Please.” You breathe. He wastes no time, removing his thumb from your lips before kissing you again with breathless intensity. You can believe he has been waiting for a long time. Despite how in control he seems, you can feel a wild edge underneath it. You nip his bottom lip, and he groans into the kiss. The hand that’s not cupping your face comes up to rest on the nape of your neck.

He pulls away for a second. You look at him but then squeak in surprise. You’re yanked forward, off your chair and into his lap, by an unseen Force. He uses it to easily manhandle how he wants you. Specifically, he wants you astride his lap, one leg on either side of his hips. Both of your hands come to brace yourself on his chest. This time, he gives you a cheeky smile.

“I don’t know much about the Force, but I’m pretty sure that’s blant misuse of it.” You chide him, no real heat behind your words.

“Oh, it absolutely is.” Before you can say anything else, his hand is on the back of your neck, and he surges upward to kiss you. This time, both of your hands find purchase in his shirt. He kisses you like he’s afraid you’ll leave him any second. You return it with the same breathless intensity. When the two of you part, a small string of spit connects the two of you.

“You have no idea the things that I want to do to you, if you’ll let me.” His tone is mostly composed, but you can hear hints of wildness breaking through.

“Oh?” Your voice is far more ragged than his. He gives you a downright feral grin.

“Mmhhhmmm.” His hands begin skating up and down your body, from the tops of your thighs to your sides. It’s more just the back of his hands than anything. It still sends a wave of pleasant goosebumps. “I want to kiss you again. I do so like that look you had just moments ago. I’d kiss here,” He brings his hand up to press the tips of his fingers on the side of your neck, open-palm, “then here,” He skates his hand down over the swell of your breasts, fire erupting in the wake of his fingertips despite your clothes, “and here.” He stops at your stomach. “I’ll start again here,” he touches your left calf,” and work my way back up. Of course, before I put my mouth where I know you’ll want it, I will need to do the same to your other leg. We have to keep things even.”

Your chest nearly heaves with how rapidly it’s rising and falling. You’re transfixed by him. He knows it too. The look on his face tells you that he does.

“Would you like that, my dear?” He purrs. “Would you allow me to do that?”

“Yes.” You breathe. “Please.”

His eyes light up with delight. This time, you’re the one to take the initiative. You lean down to kiss him. He makes a low noise, as if he’s pleasantly surprised. He pulls you closer to him and uses his other hand to palm your ass. You nearly squeak in surprise. You can feel the silent shake of laughter at your reaction, so you bite down on his lower lip a little harder than necessary. He moans into the kiss, shocking you. You had a hunch, but you hadn’t been entirely sure he’d be okay with that.

The hand on your ass moves to the hemline of your shirt. He pulls it out from where you’d tuck it into to look presentable and snakes his hand under it. When he pulls away from the kiss, you nearly chase his lips. Instead, you let out a breathy sigh as he places a kiss just below your ear.

“You make such gorgeous noises.” He murmurs. His breath fans against your neck. You shiver. He moves the hand under your shirt until it’s just below your chest bindings. He nips at the spot he just kissed. One of your hands goes to his hair at that. Experimentally, you tug at it. He lets out a low hiss and sucks the skin in between his teeth. His hips roll up almost automatically. You can’t help your triumphant grin.

“Don’t be smug.” He releases the skin he’s been worrying over and gives you a mock glare. “It does-” He cuts himself off with a low moan as you tug at his hair again. He glares at you, but it’s effectiveness is undermined by the fact you just saw his eyes rolling back into his head not two seconds ago.

“I’m pretty sure you’ve got better uses for your mouth than sassing me.” You respond glibly. His eyes widened for a second.

“I did promise something like that, didn’t I?” He eventually murmurs. You want to say something clever, but he starts kissing your neck again. You tilt your head back to give him more access. As he slowly works his way down your neck, he moves his hand up to your chest bindings. At first, he simply palms you through them. As he starts to move lower and lower, though, he begins to circle his fingers around your tits through the fabric. They start wide and become closer and closer. By the time he reaches the hollow of your throat, his fingertips are almost touching your nipples.

He looks up at you from under his eyelashes. You have no doubt he’s got a cheeky grin on his face.

“May I?” He brings his other hand to the hem of your shirt.

“Only if yours goes too.”

“A fair trade.” He slips the hand under your shirt out from under it to help you get your shirt off. You toss it somewhere else in the room, not bothering to track it. He discards his shirt easily. You push him back lightly. You want to take a moment to admire his physique. He’s not broad, but he does have muscle. He watches you with a self-satisfied smile. You can see he’s taking you as well. It’s evident that the thread of his self-control is close to breaking.

You decide to test your luck. You lightly run your nails down his pecs. He nearly shudders under your touch, eyes fluttering closed. His hands find your hips. When he opens his eyes again, you see that control slipping a little more. He surges upwards to kiss you again, but you push him back.

“Nope.” You grin at him. “That’s not what you said you’d do.”

It takes him a moment. He’s clearly confused by being denied. When he does realize what you’re getting at, he lets out a huff of laughter.

“My sincerest apologies.” He doesn’t sound apologetic at all. He begins kissing from the hollow of your throat down your collarbone. “How will I ever make it up to you?”

One of his hands rests on your lower back. You undo your chest bindings and let them fall to the floor. He sucks in a breath as a new expanse of skin is revealed to him.

“You’re gorgeous.” His voice borders on reverent. He begins kissing his way towards your nipples, already stiff from his previous ministrations. His free hand goes to your other breasts, palming it before moving his fingers inward. He runs his tongue over your nipple. You gasp, head falling back. He slowly circles the flesh with his tongue before sealing his lips around it.

Fuck, he’s good at this. It’s not long before you fall forward. One hand is on the back of his chair for stability with the other is on the back of his neck. You roll your hips downwards, and he responds. He releases the aching flesh with a sinful ‘pop’ before moving onto the other one. It’s not long before you’re rolling your hips steadily in search of much needed friction. He meets everyone of your movements. When he pulls off this one, both of you are panting.

“I did mean it, you know.” Obi-wan sounds wrecked. “You are gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” You manage. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He laughs at that, a genuinely delighted sound. It makes your heart flutter.

“I do believe that I promised something that requires more room.” He teases. He pats your ass. Slowly, you stand up. You can see his approval at how wobbly your legs are. When he stands up, you expect him to lead you towards his room. Instead, he takes a hold of your hips and, after a few steps, sinks to the floor. You have no choice but to go with him.

“Normally, I would take you to my room.” He takes ahold of the waistband of your pants and begins peeling them off. “But I can’t resist myself much longer.”

“Then don’t.” You shimmy the rest of the way out of your pants. “I’ll allow it. This time.”

He makes a noise close to a growl. It sends a wicked thrill through your body. He pushes your legs apart so he can settle in between them. He takes hold of your left calf and presses a series of kisses along it. You sit up on your forearms to watch him. By the time he reaches the middle of your inner thigh, your head has rolled back. Fuck, he’s good with his mouth. All he’s done is kissed and licked at you, but you know he’s going to be fucking great at eating you out. When he switches legs, you’re nearly squirming.

Finally, he reaches the apex of your legs. Slowly, you sit up on your forearms again to watch him. Your underwear had been peeled off with your pants. He shuffles down some so he can lay flat on his stomach.

“Such a pretty pussy.” He teases. He runs his fingers through your folds, clearly delighted to see you’re already wet. “It’d be a shame to deny her.”

He licks a long stripe along your folds, and you keen. You keep your eyes on him though. You aren’t going to look away from the sight in front of you. He noses at your clit before finally beginning to eat you out.

He eats you out like it’s his career, like it’s something he’s dreamed about doing for so long. It’s not long before your elbows nearly give out at the feeling. You reach out with a shaky hand and thread your fingers through his hair. He groans, the sound making your eyes roll back slightly. He finds your clit and begins teasing it with the tip of his tongue. Your legs shake a little. You can feel him grin against you.

As he teases your clit, he shifts. You’re not sure why he is until you feel one of his fingers slide along your slit. It glides more than anything else. You’re so wet, both from your own juices and his salvia, that there’s no resistance. Slowly, he slips his finger inside you. Your elbows do give out at the sensation of him licking and sucking at your clit combined with him fingering you. Your other hand goes to his hair as well. You tug, and he nearly growls against you.

“Careful, my dear.” You look up. He’s pulled just enough away that you can see his face. The lower half is already covered in slick. “You do that again, and I’m not liable for what comes next.”

It’s not even a choice. You do it again. You get the distinct pleasure of watching his eyes roll back in his head. He makes a noise. You’re pretty sure he just swore, but you can’t be positive. His eyes glaze over slightly. When he comes back to himself, he narrows his eyes.

“You brought this on yourself.” He leans back down, and oh! Maker. He sucks harshly on your clit, slipping a second finger into you at the same time. Your hips arch up, and he responds by placing his forearm over them and slamming them down. His fingers search, curling until they find that one spot that makes you see stars. You gasp and moan and writhe in his hold. He doesn’t let up, doesn’t give you any quarter. Instead, all you can do is ride out the pleasure. Your legs clamp around his head, but he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, based on the noise he makes, he enjoys it.

He doesn’t let up, not even when your orgasm crashes over you. Your legs tremble, but he keeps going. You have to yank his head up to get him to stop. The glazed look is back.

“Want you to fuck me.” You don’t know how you manage to make your voice authoritative, but you do.

“I never thought you’d ask.” He begins working on getting his pants off. You grab a pillow from a chair and place it under your ass. He finally gets them off and lines himself up with you. Before he slides in, he looks at you. You nod.

Both of you groan when he first slides into you. He grabs your hips hard. You can see his self-restraint as he slowly slips into you, stopping once he’s bottomed out. The two of you lay there for a second, one of his hands by your head.

“Fuck.” You manage. He’s hot and heavy in you, and Gods it feels good. You wrap your legs around his waist and nod. Slowly, he slides out before thrusting back into you. His hair is messed up, and one of the strands falls into his face. You reach up to sweep it away.

“Come on. Fuck me like you mean it.” You tease. You don’t know where this bold side of you is coming from, but you’re enjoying it. He growls, actually growls, before grabbing your hips and nearly slamming into you. Your head falls back. He takes advantage of that, leaning down to bite harshly at the newly exposed skin while he drives his hips into yours. Your toes curl. You lock your legs tighter around him. He works his way up from your chest to your throat, all the while thrusting into you hard and fast.

Something yanks your head up. You don’t have time to figure out what did before he’s kissing you with a breathless intensity. You whimper and whine against his lips, rocking your hips up to meet his. One of your hands is still curled in his hair, tugging, while the other scratches at his back.

It’s filthy and dirty, fast and rough, and perfect. It’s not long before you can feel your legs starting to shake again. Your walls pulse. He must have felt that because you can feel something circling your clit.

“Cum for me.” He encourages, his voice ragged. “Cum for me. I want you to. Please. I want to see you cum for me.”

Well. Who are you to deny such a request. Your legs clamp hard around his waist. Your mouth opens, and he swallows your cries. He keeps going, fucking you through your orgasm. When you come back a little, you clench your walls around him and dig your nails into his back. It’s not long before he spills himself into you, biting down hard on your neck to muffle his shout.

The two of you lay there for a moment. He’s heavy on top of you, but it’s welcome. You absent-mindly stroke his hair. You’re trying to make it look somewhat presentable. He looks at you.

“If you are amenable, I’d like you to stay tonight. With me.” He offers after a moment. His tone is cavalier, as if he has no preference. You can tell from the look in his eyes which one he wants. You nod.

“I’ll stay with you.” You say. You hope that he understands what you mean beyond tonight. You’ll stay with him no matter what.

Tag list: @pala-din-djarin @ghostahs @parkotedarasuum

#Text #Obi-wan Kenobi x reader #Sith Obi-wan Kenobi x reader #NSFT #Reader insert #Obi-wan x reader #Sith Obi-wan x reader

189 notes · View notes

tonguetiedraven · 2 years

Note

Could you do a Yukio/Shima story...Yukio comes out as Demi-sexual to Shima (idk if you've done that already)

For some reason I keep thinking that the back painting thing (in a nonsexual way) could be nice

I'm not sure if this is exactly what you were wanting, but I had a lot of fun with the prompt ^^

— — — — —

They’re on the roof when Yukio mumbles the words like they’re a confession, and in a way, Renzou supposes they are. They’re an explanation at least. A sort of sorry for not explaining earlier. Sorry for not letting you near. Sorry for letting you think it was you. That you weren’t enough.

“I found the word for it.”

“Yeah?” Renzou asks, because it’s the thing to do and honestly, Yukio never talks about himself. Learning about Yukio is always something to hop on. (Especially if you don’t want a wild Rin materializing out of thin air and kicking your ass for giving his brother a reason to shut down again.)

Yukio nods and fiddles with the sleeve of his sweater. It’s a thinner one than he usually wears. Renzou knew the chill was part of depression, more than just being cold natured. He’s watched ever since that realization, gaging how many layers Yukio is in. It’s the first time he’s ever watched someone’s clothes in a non sexual way. It’s just concern. Just a way to gauge how his friend is doing.

(And yeah, some day he hopes to see a bit of skin.)

More than any of that though, Yukio fiddling with his sleeve is a sign of nervousness. It’s annoyance if he’s messing with his glasses, but his sleeves indicate a scared and uncomfortable sort of feeling. That gets Renzou to sit a bit straighter and really pay attention.

“For myself,” Yukio clarifies. “What I am.”

“Yeah?” Renzou asks again.

“I… Demisexual. Shura sent me some information on it.”

Demisexual? Renzou isn’t positive what that is, but he wants to say he’s heard it before. He wants to say he heard Mamushi mention it, but he makes it a point to avoid any kind of sex talk with people back in Kyoto. They’re all too close to siblings and it’s all enough to make him shudder. Ugh.

“Yeah? What’s that?” He knows he falls somewhere in the bi or pan spectrum. He finds everything attractive. (Except the people in Kyoto, because again, siblings, and shudder.) There are so many beautiful and interesting people and he wants to try it all.

(Including the adorable and freckled boy beside him.)

“A person who… basically, in order to feel attraction, I need… I have to already have a strong bond with them. I don’t just look at people and want them.” There’s a silent ‘like you’ that Yukio is now too kind to say, but Renzou hears anyway.

Renzou raises a teasing eyebrow and smirks. “Is this your way of coming on to me?”

Yukio rolls his eyes, but there’s a blush on his cheeks that Renzou could happily kiss. “No, spy boy. It’s my way of explaining why I was always so…”

“Prudish.”

“Resistant,” Yukio counters with a stern look. He’s relaxed though. The earlier tension is gone. His hands are hanging loosely now, no longer tangled in his sleeves or hem.

“Knew there had to be a reason you didn’t succumb to my charms.” Renzou winks again, grin growing at the eyeroll it earns him. He could thank Yukio for telling him, and he might someday, but that isn’t quite who he is. That’s something the others would do, thank him for the trust, but he’s someone dangerous to trust, and even with Yukio he can’t quite let his guard down enough to thank someone when it’s given. Not when he remembers all too well how easy it is to make everyone look at you like you being in the room is a dangerous thing.

He simply smiles and leans back on his hands to watch the sunsetting in front of him and tries not to wonder if they’ve built a bond yet. If there will be a day when Yukio says yes.

What they have is already pretty great. He could be happy with this. He is happy with this.

— — — — —

Knowing doesn’t actually change anything. He could make it into jokes, but they’d fall flat. He just makes a few vague comments when the Valentine letters pick up, and a few jokes when the spring fever strikes and there seem to be hourly rejections in the hall.

Mostly, he just offers Yukio a secret smile and feels a warmth that he knows something.

They’re on the beach for a mission, something Lightning and Shura had rambled about that Bon and Konekomaru had taken notes for, and he’s on watch duty. Watch duty that basically consists of sitting in one spot for a very long time and staring at the water. It’s an improvement from the kraken, and a huge improvement from Tsubaki’s squid stand.

Yukio is stretched out next to him. He’s going to have the next shift, and Renzou has been slowly inching his hand over to Yukio’s back. He has moles there, just a few, but they’re like a little constellation on his tanned skin and Renzou wants to trace them out. He knows Yukio hates them with a fervent passion, but Renzou likes them. They’re distinctly Yukio and they’re something he enjoys tracing with his eyes.

When Yukio doesn’t immediately flinch away from his touch (like he once might have) he lets himself be a little bolder and spreads his entire hand against the upper middle of Yukio’s back. Spreading his fingers between the wings of his shoulder blades and pressing his palm gently against the skin. It’s not surprising to see the tension in Yukio’s body, but it is surprising that he’s not the reason it’s there.

“You sore?” He asks absently, remembering a younger Bon who always over did it and Torako gently working the knots out of his neck and shoulders to help fight off the migraines.

“No?” Yukio mutters into his towel, refusing to open his eyes. Renzou admires that ridiculous stubbornness that even makes it work to relax. It’s hilarious to watch.

“Well you’re tense.” Without really thinking about it he slides his hand a bit higher and lets his other one join it. It’s easy to work out the first knot he finds, and the way Yukio, at first stiff, goes all lax under his touch as the muscles are worked out.

(It’s trust, again, and he doesn’t think about how it makes him warm that Yukio’s eyes stay closed because he knows it’s Renzou who is doing it and knows he’s safe.)

— — — — —

Turns out, Renzou likes touching Yukio’s back. It’s a nice back, soft, smooth, a few scars (someday he’ll ask about those) and heavily freckled.

More surprisingly, Renzou is allowed to touch Yukio’s back. Like regularly, and without much of an excuse needed. To the point where Yukio will even sit in front of him when they’re just talking, and shrug off the outermost layer (the boy always has an undershirt on, no matter the weather) and Renzou will take it for the cue it is and trace circles or lines or silly patterns into Yukio’s shoulders and back through whatever fabric is still blocking him.

The others notice, but aside from a few raised eyebrows, don’t actively say anything. They all mostly assume Renzou and Yukio have a few weird and unspoken habits together from their ‘Illuminati time’ (or *‘Illumi-naughty time’, as Rin loves to call it.) But the fact that Renzou is allowed to do it in front of others is a huge thing, and the warmth it makes him feel each time isn’t something he’d even try to put into words. Things that big and essential weren’t made for words.

It’s a spur of the moment thing (like most decisions in his life) to buy the paints when he sees them. He gets them home and immediately realizes it’s a weird thing to ask, and that in and of itself is weird. That something being awkward to ask would make him hesitate to do it. But…

But this is Yukio, and the trust he’s earned is something that’s important, and he doesn’t know who all knows, but he knows he does, and he doesn’t want Yukio thinking it’s a bid for more. He’d love more (because Yukio is sinfully gorgeous, and a pretty damn great person) but that isn’t what it’s about.

So they sit in his room for a few weeks, until he realizes the things have expiration dates and then he panics and just blurts the question out.

“Can I paint you?”

Yukio blinks over his ramen for a moment before he finishes slurping them up. Then, dabbing neatly at his mouth, he straightens. “Sure? I didn’t know you were into art?”

“No. Not paint a portrait. I wanna paint on you. Your back? Saw a thing and thought it looked like fun.”

A plus work there. If he wanted to sound weird, he certainly accomplished it.

Yukio snorted and shook his head. “Paint on me?”

“Yeah. Your back. It’s supposed to feel nice too.” He adds without really knowing why. It still sounds pervy even though, for once, he really didn’t mean it that way.

Thankfully the last year has not only been about him learning who Yukio is, but Yukio learning who he is, because he studies Renzou face for a moment, then, casually as anything, nods and picks his chopsticks back up. “Sure. Just make sure they’re skin safe. If you give me a rash, I’m giving you extra homework.”

“Fair.” Renzou returns to his own noodles and thinks of Yukio’s back. He knows just what he wants to paint on him.

It’s not an immediate thing, their lives are woefully busy, but it doesn’t take too long before Yukio lets him know that there’s a free evening and Renzou is popping over to the twins’ probably haunted dorm with his paints. Rin is sprawled out on his bed reading his manga and waves as he comes in. Yukio is sitting neatly at his desk, grading tests (hopefully on a curve) and smiles when he enters. He rises from the desk without Renzou having to ask, and spreads out on a towel on the floor. He rests his chin on his arm, and it strikes Renzou that Yukio really is beautiful.

Thoughts like that will definitely stop this, so he shoves them down, smiles, and plops next to Yukio.

Rin is watching them like the curious cat he secretly is, and doing a horrible job at pretending he isn’t.

Renzou sets his supplies out in a neat row and dips in blue first. He gets Yukio talking about his day without too much effort, and lets himself get lost in the repetitive motions of his paint brush. Up and down, over and over, until Yukio’s entire back is blue. Then a bit of black, swirled, some purple, a little less swirled and a bit more side to side, and before he really notices, they’ve both gone quiet.

It’s almost meditative, which is weird because Renzou hates meditation. He hates focusing on something as dull as a few words or as normal as his breathing. But this… This simple motion and spreading the paint around Yukio’s back, watching his friend relax under him and lull into a place that isn’t quite sleep, but is vulnerable and trusting…

He can almost see why Bon and Koneko spend so much time doing it.

The stars are last, and he laments a little when he starts on them. They’re fun to map out, but they also mean this thing is ending, and that’s sad when it’s so peaceful. It’s not as good as something Bon might make, but it’s obviously a starry sky, and he’s pretty sure Yukio will know the constellation and probably be annoyed by it, but it’s still what Renzou imagines every time he touches Yukio’s back.

“That looks so cool!” Rin gushes, sitting up on the bed, manga forgotten at his side. Renzou glances at him, having forgotten he was there, and immediately knows that his friends are going to be pulled into this thing.

That’s okay. They can go wild with it. Renzou’s happy with this.

Yukio’s eyes blink open and his head tilts a little towards Renzou. “Is it finished?”

Renzou nods, voice a little thick with how soft Yukio sounds, and how peaceful he looks. It’s nothing like the boy who had stood on the Illuminati ship, ready to die.

He doesn’t know where that thought came from and he forcibly shoves it away. This Yukio isn’t like that, and Renzou won’t let him get there again.

It’s maybe five minutes before Rin is running out to the store to get his own paints, and Renzou is taking a careful picture to show Yukio his masterpiece. (And part of him is tempted to sign it, but that feels weird and while the idea of his name on Yukio is incredible, just his art is enough for now. Maybe someday.)

Yukio rolls his eyes at the constellation, but there’s a light blush on his freckled cheeks and a small smile pulling at his lips that he can’t quite hide.

Someday, Renzou thinks.

— — — — —

(Someday happens on the roof, just like the other confession had, and Renzou decides that roof is his new favorite spot.)

— — — — —

*This was a spur of the moment joke I came up with and I love it.

Thanks for reading! And thank you to Anon for the prompt/ask <3

#yukishima #ao no exorcist #blue exorcist #my tumblr fics #renzou shima #yukio okumura #renzo shima #okumura yukio #shima renzou #yukio x renzou

28 notes · View notes

hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

For the Past Four Years

You and Colson have been friends forever, but when you start getting lessons from a certain drummer, he gets a bit jealous.

Request: Sooo I was just wondering if a jealous!coulson whose your friend would be something you’d like to write? Maybe y/n and yungblud or rook or someone is getting a little too friendly and it makes him angry either fluff or smut would work tbh

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N I am so sorry this took so long! This is the one I was talking about when I said I got to the end and wasn’t feeling it so I rewrote it.

Word Count: 2019

You hated being the only one in the crew who couldn’t go on tour. The travel interfered with your job too much, so you were left alone for months out of the year. But that made it all the better when you could join the tour. You were grateful for the two weeks off you were given while Colson was on the Hotel Diablo tour.

You flew out to their show in Phoenix and planned to stay on the tour bus with them until they got back to LA. The boys were ecstatic to have you around, having known you for almost 4 years. Colson was probably the most excited to see you again, seeing as he had known you the longest.

You were in the green room for the fifth show since you’d join the tour, the energy through the roof. Colson was busy talking with Ashleigh about the show, so you found entertainment in Rook, who was currently tapping away on his practice kit. “Ok, guess this one.”

You were currently trying to figure out what songs he was playing, and you were doing pretty good. He started playing the intro to “You Could Be Mine” by Guns N’ Roses, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. ”Really? It’s like you’re trying to make this easy for me.”

“It’s not my fault you know literally every song ever made.”

“Yeah, but Guns N’ Roses? Obviously, I’m gonna know it.” You smirked and he squinted at you.

“Fine. You’re so good, why don’t you play something and make me guess.” He held out his drumsticks for you to take.

You pouted, “Rookie you know I don’t know how to play drums.”

“I can teach you.” He offered, making your eyes light up.

“Wait, actually?” He nodded, standing up and grabbing another stool.

“C’mere.” He led you around the kit and sat you down, sitting on the stool behind you. He put the drumsticks in your palms and then moved to hold the outside of your hand. “We’ll start with the basics.”

When Colson came back into the room, he saw you and Rook laughing. You were looking back at Rook as his hands were wrapped around yours, a smile on your face. He couldn’t help his heart sinking, and he tried his best to maintain his composure. Luckily, he only had to endure a few more minutes of you guys obviously flirting before everyone had to move to side stage.

You noticed Colson slumped on one of the couches across the room and you sent him a smile. “Rook is teaching me how to play.” You mouthed to him, and he nodded sarcastically.

“Good for you.” He mouthed back, obviously uninterested and upset about something. You raised your eyebrow and tilted your head, silently asking what was wrong. He just shook his head.

“Alright guys, backstage.” Ashleigh announced, and all the boys jumped up.

Rook stood up and you followed, handing him his drumsticks. “We shall continue this later, young grasshopper.” He joked, bowing dramatically. You rolled your eyes and pushed him towards the door of the green room.

“Don’t suck too much.” You smiled, and he turned back to stick his tongue out at you. Colson watched the interaction and it looked like steam would start blowing out of his ears. You bounded over to where he had just stood up. “Good luck hug?” You asked sweetly, a tradition you had started the first time you went backstage before a show.

Instead of answering, he walked right past you, leaving the room. You stared after him, confusion present on your face. You wanted to talk to him about it, but decided it was best to leave it for after the show.

Colson seemed to be in a better mood on stage and after the show, insisting on partying on the bus. You had no complaints; you loved the endless party that was touring with MGK. Once you got on the bus, however, his mood seemed to drop all over again. You didn’t really notice it at first, a bit distracted by the loud music and the other guys. You loved spending time with them, they were as much your family as Colson. But your good time was spoiled by Colson sitting on one of the couches scrolling through his phone with a drink in his hand.

You didn’t want to have fun without him, he was your best friend, after all. So, you walked over to him, reaching your hand out. “Come dance with me.” You smiled, which he did not return.

In fact, he barely looked at you, just took a sip of his drink and said, “why don’t you go dance with Rook since you like him so much.”

You were taken aback by his comment. “Umm, what?”

“You heard me. If you like Rook so much why don’t you go dance with him? Why don’t you just sleep with him while you’re at it?”

You took a step back, offended. “I don’t know what your problem is right now, but either talk to me like a grown up or get over it.”

Colson sighed, standing up and grabbing your hand to drag you to the back of the bus, away from the crowd. He opened the door that separated the bunks from the rest of the bus, leading you in and closing it behind you. You waited for an explanation from him, but he just stood there, glaring at you.

“Okay, what the fuck is your problem, Colson? I’ve been here for all of a week so I don’t exactly know what I could’ve done.” You tried to keep your voice quiet, but your tone was still sharp.

Colson’s tone stung just as bad. “Oh right, because you haven’t been flirting with Rook ever since you got here. I mean seriously could you make it any more obvious?”

You raised an eyebrow, “Okay, one, I’m not fucking flirting with anyone, much less Rook. Two, even if I was flirting with him, or anyone for that matter, it’s none of your fucking business.” Colson had a habit of doing this; anytime you started talking to a guy, or even just dancing with one at a club, he made sure it stopped immediately and you were fed up with it.

“It is my business. He’s my bandmate and you’re my best friend. If you two hook up or do anything, guess who’s caught in the middle? Me.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, and I suppose that’s why you’ve run off every other guy I’ve tried to do anything with?”

He stepped towards you, eyes getting darker. “So you were trying to get with Rook?”

“Oh my god Colson, no!” You let out an exasperated groan, “I’m just saying you have a pattern of getting in between me and literally any member of the male species. Rook and I are just friends, you know that. And I would never put you in a situation like that.”

He stepped closer to you, standing over you now. "Maybe I just don’t think they’re good enough for you.” His voice got quieter, but you weren’t backing down.

“You’re supposed to think that. That’s what friends are for. But that doesn’t mean you get to get in the way of every potential relationship I have.”

“Stop saying that fucking word.” His voice got deeper, darker.

You furrowed your brows, confused and a bit nervous at his tone. “What word.” Your voice came out quieter than you expected it to.

Colson sighed and hung his head, backing away from you, “forget it.”

He turned so his back was facing you, running a hand through his hair. You watched him carefully, studying him. “What word, Colson?” You pushed him.

He rubbed his face with his hands, letting out another heavy sigh. “Did you ever stop to think about why I didn’t want you to get anywhere with those guys?” Your heart seemed to stop beating for a second, and your shoulders fell slightly.

“N-no.” You stuttered, walking towards the man, who was still turned away from you. “Colson, I’m really confused right now.” Your voice was soft. You reached out to touch his arm, but he spun around before you could.

His hand reached out to tilt your jaw up, so you were looking into his eyes. You expected him to be angry, but there was something else instead. His face was really close to yours, enough that you could feel his breath on your nose when he spoke. “There’s a reason I don’t want you to flirt with Rook, or with any other guy for that matter.” You had a feeling you knew where this was going, and you took a sharp breath as your heart fluttered.

“Colson-“ You started, but he cut you off.

“Just let me finish, please. I have to say this or I’m gonna lose my fucking mind.” You stayed silent, your eyes begging him to continue. “I don’t want you to be with anyone else. Fuck, Y/N, it hurts like hell to see you flirting with other people because I want you to be flirting with me.”

You smile, trying not to giggle. “And I realized when I left for tour that I’m kind of really in love with you.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling his lips onto yours. His hands wrapped around your waist as his lips moved against yours. When you pulled away, he placed his forehead against yours, eyes closed. “I’ve kind of been flirting with you for the past 4 years, loser.”

His eyes flew open, head moving away from yours. “What?”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “Yeah, I’ve kind of been really in love with you for a long time.” You mimicked his earlier words. “You never said anything about it so I just assumed you didn’t feel the same way.”

He let out a breath through his nose, “God I’m so dumb.” You giggled, shaking your head and pressing your lips against his.

“You are not, you’re just a little oblivious.” He rolled his eyes, pulling your hips closer to him and kissing you again, longer this time. He started leading you backwards, so your back pressed against the wall of bunks lightly. One of your hands moved to rest on his cheek and the other played with the hair at the base of his neck.

The kiss deepened, his tongue swiping against your lips. You granted him entrance, his tongue slowly exploring your mouth. His hands began to move down your waist. They were about to reach your butt when the door opened and Dre walked in. “Oh shit,” He paused, looking between you two and slowly smiling. “About time you fuckers got it on.”

You buried your head into Colson’s chest, a blush on your face. “Duuuude.” Colson groaned, his head falling backwards. “Get out.”

Dre chuckled, hands in surrender. “In my defense, you guys are the one making out in a tour bus full of people in the bunk room.”

If looks could kill, Dre would have been murdered by Colson by now. “Okay, I’m leaving. But just know I’m telling everyone about this.” He smiled, quickly leaving, and closing the door behind him before Colson could hurt him.

You laughed, pulling the man back to you and connecting your lips to his, a smile on your face. “I’m gonna kill him.” Colson mumbled against your lips.

You rolled your eyes, “As hot as that would be, society generally frowns upon killing your friends.” He chuckled and pressed another kiss to your lips, his hands reaching up to cup your face.

“Wait, would you still like me if I was a murderer?”

You giggled, “Depends on who you kill, but probably.”

He pecked your lips, “What if I killed Rook?” You glared at him, and he smiled. “What? I’m just asking in case it happens.”

“You’re not allowed to kill your band members.”

“So if I kicked him out of the band and then killed him, it would be okay?”

“Colson Baker!”

“Kidding!”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #jp cappelletty #rook cappelletty

394 notes · View notes

realcube · 3 years

Text

HQ BOYS REACT TO YOU FAKE CRYING

characters ♡ yaku, kenma, kayegama & iwaizumi

content warning ♡ fake crying, mentions of murder, hurt/comfort, fluff & timeskip! iwaizumi (no mature themes, just domesticity)

credit ♡ thank you to 🍦anon for this request

morinosuke yaku

♡ why did you need to need to practise in the bedroom?? in his bedroom, no less

♡ your show was quickly approaching and you recalled the scene where you were to burst out into tears on stage, and you hadn’t yet rehearsed how you were going to do that

♡ honestly, you were under the assumtion that yaku would have no problem with you practising while in his bedroom bc he has ran lines with you in the past and this was hardly any different

♡ so sat, thinking about the most horrible, morbid, grotesque things you possible could, all while keeping your eyes wide open and not blinking so soon enough, the tears started rolling

♡ proud of yourself, you smirked before burying your face into your hands; now to add sobs!

♡ it started out with mere snivels but then as you got more confident, it built up to full on bawls which were loud enough to gain yaku’s attention from the kitchen

♡ he was quick to rush over to his bedroom, his soul audibly leaving his body when he saw your upset weeping figure on the bed

♡ he basically pounced on you and engulfed you with his embrace, ‘dear! what’s wrong? are you alright? who hurt you?!’ the questions were fast falling off his tongue as cradled your head, leaving no room for you to speak without being muffled by his chest or arms

♡ and when he noticed that you were trying to speak, he simply hushed you, ‘shh! it’s okay, dearest.’ and continued to whisper ‘comforting’ stuff like that in your ear

♡ he thought he was helping but really he was just preventing you from getting you point across

♡ eventually, you managed to escape his steel grip and gasp, ‘yaku! i’m fine! look — no tears!” you gestured to you damp cheek, “i was just practising for my role! i’m not actually sad. though, it’s cute that you care so mu--”

♡ as soon as yaku heard the word ‘practising’ he immediately recalled how you mention you have a sad scene where you need to cry and his natural reflex was to lean backwards, grab a massive teddy bear that sat behind him which he had won at a carnival for you but you insisted that he keep it bc you didn’t want to carry it home

♡ ...and he threw it straight at you, causing you to fall backwards and burst out laughing at how you were currently being straddled by a big teddy bear

♡ ‘(y/n)! i thought you were hurt! you can’t just fake cry without telling me first- i was so worried! like i thought it was real and--’ this went on for an elongated amount of time, yaku ranting while you added a faint ‘sorry!’ whenever you saw the opportunity

♡ eventually, he stopped only to take a deep breath, visibly calming doing as his chest heaved, ‘alright. what’s done is done; it’s fine. you worried me though, (y/n). i thought you were being for real, what then?’

♡ you nodded, smiling at his softened expression as your lips twisted into a smirk at his final comment. cocking a brow, you purred, ‘so...you think i’m a good actor? tha--’

♡ pow! another plushie to the face! K.O!

kenma kuzome

♡ as a joke, you dabbed water under your eyes a few times so you could send your friend a snap of you ‘crying’ and ofc kenma had to walk in at exactly the wrong time

♡ you were over at his house, chilling on his couch while he was upstairs talking to kuroo over the phone— he said he’d only be a moment but almost half an hour had passed and he still showed no sign of coming back downstairs, though you couldn’t blame him as kuroo does have a tendency to be overly descriptive when spilling tea

♡ anyway, as soon as you had sent your snap, you placed your phone down and scanned the room in search of some tissues to wipe you eyes with, when kenma barged in

♡ ‘hey, (y/n). i’m sorry that took so lo--’ when his gaze shifted from his phone onto you, sitting on the couch with tears streaming down your cheeks, he immediately cut himself off

♡ at first, you were frozen, simply staring at each other; as if he had just walked in on you committing a violent act of homicide in his living room

♡ honestly you were too stunned to move at first but if you could, you’d probably say something along the lines of ‘this isn’t what it looks like’ but before you could even open your mouth, kenma edged towards you until he was able to outstretch his arms and wrap you in his warm embrace

♡ with your cheek pressed against his warm hoodie, basking in an uncommon blissful silence, you postponed your explanation until you were finished enjoyed how his nimble fingers caressed your back

♡ you hummed, your lips curling a smile at how comfortable you felt in his arms and how nice his hoodie smelt, since it usually reeked of an unholy mixture of body spray and monster energy

♡ he planted a kiss upon your head, murmuring into your hair, ‘baby, what’s wrong?’

♡ you were quick to swipe away your ‘tears’ with the back of your hand, ‘i’m fine, don’t worry.” you chirped, beaming at him to reinforce this point, ‘it’s just water, for a silly video i sent to my friends.’

♡ kenma blinked rapidly, staring down at your seemingly genuine smile

♡ honestly, you expected him to tease you or be irritated that you made him reveal a hidden soft side of himself for no reason, since he’s usually quite private with his emotions

♡ but instead, the corners of his lips just lifted into a slight smile as pushed your head back against his chest, then resting his head upon yours, ‘oh, that’s cool.’ he breathed, his warm, calming voice causing your eyelids to become heavy — that and the fact you had went on a run not too long ago

♡ kenma felt your eyes flutter shut against his chest so he slowly leaned backwards, holding you against his hoodie as he laid down, allowing himself to doze off with you snuggled up on his heaving torso

hajime iwaizumi

♡ you were making iwaizumi dinner, cutting onions and cooking curry

♡ so it was not surprising when tears started brimmed at your eyes, eventually slipping from your lashline and trickling down the soft skin of your cheeks, leaving you to blink rapidly to lubricate your burning eyes

♡ iwaizumi had just came out the shower, he had dried off but when he came downstairs and peered into the kitchen, he was wearing just a towel which was draped around his hips, ‘mm, something smells good. whatcha cookin’, baby?’

♡ he didn’t plan on staying downstairs for long, which is why he didn’t throw on a shirt; all he wanted to do was get to the bottom of what that magnificent aroma was that he smelled from upstairs, then once he figured it out, he’d go back upstairs, get changed, then head back down for dinner

♡ but his plan was cut short when he noticed crystalline tears pouring from your red, puffy eyes

♡ without thinking or taking into consideration why your eyes are red, his immediate reaction was to dash over to your side and slip his arms around your waist, puling you in so that one of your hands had no choice but to rest on his back while the other continued to stir the pot

♡ noticing that your watery eyes were still fixated on the curry, he took your chin inbtween his fingers and forced you to cook at him, ‘why’s my angel crying? hm?’ he cooed, features painted with genuine worry and concern

♡ you lifted a brow, stifling a chuckle at how silly he was being, ‘what do you mean?’

♡ before you could process anything else, iwaizumi bought you in for a passionate kiss with the his hand pressing against the small of your back, only pulling away so he could rest his head on your shoulder and hum into your ear, ‘you can tell me anything, angel, so what’s on your mind?’

♡ you bottom lip quivered at his intimate action — you might just start crying for real

♡ biting your bottom lip, you resisted your tears and forced out a laugh, ‘what’s on my mind? well,’ you started, momentarily letting go of the ladle so you could hug back, ‘i have to make dinner for my himbo husband, but the onions and spices are burning my eyes. pray for me, iwa.’

♡ it took him a moment to register what you just said. he’d been in the kitchen many times so by now he was basically immune to the way onions and spices affect the eyes, so he completely forgot that stuff like that happens. he honestly, wholeheartedly thought that you were crying real tears of sadness while making dinner

♡ he impulsively pushed you away, crossing his arms over his chest and his initial kind expression lowering into a scowl, ‘who are you calling a himbo?! i just forgot that some people have weak-ass eyes. bye.’ he spat, clearly trying his best not to laugh as he stormed off to his room, keeping a firm grip on his towel the whole time

♡ don’t worry, though. he was back ten minutes later — fully clothed — to eat dinner with you :))

♡ but don’t mention it ever again or else he’ll blush and tell you it ever happened

tobio kageyama

♡ you were scrolling on your fyp and found a video of a person explaining how to cry on command and you didn’t believe it’d actually work so you tried it

♡ as it turns out, it does work and now you are sitting on your bed with tear stained cheeks and a dry throat, completely zoned out until kageyama came marching into your bedroom

♡ it was in that moment that you recalled that you had invited him over for a movie night and you had left your front door unlocked for him, hence he must’ve invited himself in

♡ ‘sorry i’m late, but i brought doritos.’ he spun on heels after closing the door, doritos in hand but not for long because as soon as he noticed your cheek glistening the lamplight, he instantly dropped them to rush over to you

♡ ‘eh? (y/n)? are you crying?’ he asked with a harsh voice, which wouldn’t help if you really were crying. instinctively, he reached out for your hand and began pressing kisses to the back of it

♡ he wasn’t really too sure on what exactly he could do or say to comfort you, so he recollected on the time you tried to cheer him up after he lost a big game. you lay beside him on his bed, humming a distant tune that matched the one playing in his ear from his earbuds. one hand threading through his hair while the other cupped his cheek so you could press occasional, soft kisses on his cheek while he set to himself. it was calming, and it definitely worked in making him feel better. usually, it’d take him months to recover after a devastating loss like that, but with you by his side and giving him support, he was back to his normal self in a couple weeks

♡ well, as normal as it gets for kageyama

♡ you gently shook your head, admiring his adorable actions and allowing his to continue as you used your spare hand to wipe away your artificial tears

♡ ‘oh, sweetie, i love you so much.’ you mused, thinking up a way to start your story without sounding foolish

♡ but perhaps you shouldn’t have began your explanation with a term of endearment as his impulse with to promptly throw his arms around you, holding onto your torso tightly

♡ you were taken back for moment, wheezing slightly as kageyama squeezed the air out of you but finally able to speak once he relaxed his arms, ‘tobio! nothing’s wrong, don’t worry. i was just testing to see if i could fake cry or not. i’m not actually crying.’

♡ kageyama’s eyes widened and he paled

♡ you weren’t actually in need of comfort? then why did he just get all soft? for nothing?

♡ ‘no.’ was his simple response which he punctuated with another kiss on the back of your hand

♡ you couldn’t help but giggle, taking advantage of this opperuntiy to reach out and ruffle his hair, ‘yes. i’m seriously okay. i’m happy, actually, because i get to spend my evening watching movies with you!’

♡ surprisngly, he didn’t glare at you for messing up his hair — since it was already untidy — and just took a seat beside you, keeping ahold of your hand as if it was a fragile gem, ‘i don’t believe you.’

♡ you laughed, realising that he was clearly making excuses for openly showing affection and being soft so you just let him, hopping to your feet and tugging your hand away from him so you could grab the doritos he dropped, ‘whatever you say, tobio.’

♡ he pouted but it was only brief as he was soon able to take your hand once more, ‘yeah..’ he grunted, averting his eyes so you didn’t see the blush creeping onto his cheeks, ‘whatever, just put on the stupid movie...stupid (y/n)...i love you..’

375 notes · View notes

capricorn-stark · 3 years

Text

Smoke and Mirrors

pairing: jason todd x reader, childhood friends

warning: language, slightly heated towards the end but it’s very mild, smoking - i’m not a smoker nor do i condone it, don’t do it kids

a/n: references some early stuff from RHATO (2011)

“The girls at the diner used to call those cancer sticks.”

You thought it was pretty ironic for him to say that when he plucked the cigarette you were holding right out of your hand, leaning against the railing of the balcony and seeming utterly unabashed. You hadn’t even heard him landing beside you until he started speaking.

You made a face at him as he unlocked and slid his helmet off while grinning at you in a typical self-satisfied fashion, bringing the cigarette to his own lips.

“Let me guess,” you started dryly, watching a plume of smoke swirl out of his mouth as he took a drag. “That’s why you took their warning very seriously and told yourself to never, ever smoke one.”

“I never said that,” he protested with another obnoxious laugh as he turned to glance over at you. “You made that shit up yourself. Not my problem.”

You rolled your eyes at him before moving to fish out your pack and lighter out again, half-heartedly settling another one between your lips and lighting it up. Jason’s eyes followed the smoke back to you, his own expression unreadable.

“And I thought you said you quit this shit.”

You shrugged, not quite looking at him when you opened your mouth to answer.

“People say stuff all the time, Hood. What did you expect?” Your words were directed towards a little more than just smoking. A beat passed before he shrugged it off.

“Hell if I know.”

You both sat there for a while in silence as you smoked, watching the grey clouds stray towards the hazy glow of the setting sun on the horizon. The city beneath you was beautiful tonight, a seemingly endless stretch of dark gleaming buildings reflecting the pinks and oranges of the sunset. You wanted to relish that moment more than anything for a while, and you did.

You closed your eyes and let the cigarette leave your mouth, clouds falling from your lips, nicotine buzzing in your bloodstream.

It would be a beautiful night. You could tell.

When you opened your eyes, you felt Jason’s eyes on you again and your turned your head to meet them. In the sunset, they really did glow a strange hue of green - yet another marker from his swim in the Lazarus. You hadn’t seen those eyes in quite a while.

“What, you want to take a picture?” you started in a somewhat jestful tone at his expression. “It’ll last longer.”

“Would you let me?” was his rather cocky comeback as he took his own cigarette out of his mouth, another smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “‘cus I don’t have anything against that idea, per se-”

“I was joking-”

“Right, totally.”

“I was!” The look on his face was infuriating enough to let you know that he didn’t believe shit. You let out a rather long and weary sigh. “I thought you weren’t planning on coming back anytime soon.” And at last, the disdain you had been trying so hard to contain from him was surfacing in your tone.

And clearly, from the way he was staring at you, he seemed to notice.

His latest adventures with his new friends, dubbed The Outlaws, hadn’t exactly been on the down-low. You knew one of them, Roy Harper, from being his best friend from a long time ago, and you had seen the glowing orange alien chick who accompanied them for the past few months on the news after he had taken off from Gotham.

You couldn’t deny the fact that you had been more than a little dismayed by the fact that he hadn’t even bothered to give you some sort of goodbye before they left, either - no visits, no phone calls, no letters, not even a poorly placed sticky note on the front of your apartment door left to get swept away by some janitor when it fell off.

You woke up one morning and heard from his brother that he wasn’t around Gotham anymore, no real explanations as to why the hell that was.

He just disappeared.

“You’re not thrilled to see me?” he attempted with mock hurt, and you gave him a very unimpressed look. “Sure, doll. I see how it is.” You acted like the nickname didn’t affect you as much as it did, because he didn’t deserve the satisfaction of otherwise.

“You know what I mean, Jason.”

“I thought it was Hood?” He caught your look again. “Jeez, I’m just fucking around.” The silence stretched on and he at least had the sense to look a little guilty when he spoke again. “Y/N. Listen, I’m - I’m sorry.”

You didn’t say anything for a while, your eyes still fixed ahead on the horizon. What did he expect you to say?

“I didn’t plan on leaving like that, I just - shit happened. And I didn’t want to stay in this shithole of a city for longer than I had to, anyways.”

Of course. He was bad at goodbyes, so he never said them. You were above chasing after him, so you never did.

“You could’ve at least made a call after you left.” The cigarette was still burning in your hands, the white filter crumbling away in the wind. “Or, I dunno, sent a text, or even a damn email or something. Anything.” Even you were surprised by the contempt lacing your voice with every word you spoke. You had told yourself he had to have had his reasons for leaving and that you wouldn’t waste your own time being angry at him. But somehow, you couldn’t help it. It had hurt more than you chose to realize. “It’s been months.” For once, his passive expressions and sarcasm had been replaced with something else.

Remorse.

“I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal to you.” You almost let out an incredulous laugh at that.

“Not a big deal to me? Are you serious?” You turned back to face him and he pursed his lips, clearly having realized that he had said the wrong thing. “After you came back - from the dead - and after everything that happened, you seriously thought I wouldn’t care what happened to you?” Jason opened his mouth, then wisely closed it while you tossed your cigarette down to crush it beneath your heel. “Wow, Jason, you knew me way better than I thought you did.”

“I didn’t mean to leave,” he tried again after a beat, taking a half-step towards you. “I wasn’t - I was on a mission, and this submarine thing with the dudes I was dealing with blew up, and then I woke up like a week later on this island thing with a Tamaranean alien princess who thought I was Dick, and then I found out Roy was gonna get executed, so-” He seemed to realize how incredulous that sequence of events sounded from the look on your face. So he let out a sigh, wringing his hands. “Okay. Yeah. I was kind of a douche.”

“Kind of?”

“I was definitely a douche,” he amended with another sigh, running a hand through his dark hair. He took a breath. “But I did mean it. I’m sorry.”

And you knew he meant it when he said that. Even back in his unruly days as a Robin, when your friendship had first formed, you had figured out that it was ridiculously hard for Jason Todd to let go of his pride and apologize for basically anything. When he got older, it admittedly hadn’t gotten all that much better.

Until now, apparently. Just a little. And you could never stay angry at him for very long, as much as you might have tried.

You let out a sigh yourself, glancing up at him.

“When did you even get back?”

Jason made a show of fishing his phone out of his pocket and taking a look before answering.

“About - twenty minutes ago.” He cleared his throat a little. “I wanted to see you.” There it was again - that infuriating feeling in your chest.

“Did you?” You tried to keep your tone as neutral as possible as he rubbed the back of his neck, somewhat awkwardly glancing away from you before he spoke again.

“Yeah. I missed you.”

Well fuck. That was a big one.

“I guess I missed having you around. Sometimes.” He chuckled at your attempt to be nonchalant, stepping even closer to you.

“That’s it? That’s all I get?” You rolled your eyes at him, refusing to say otherwise. You weren’t about to give in to him.

“Yeah, that’s all you-” Before you could finish, he had cut you off with a kiss. And in another moment, after his arms wrapped around your waist to pull you in closer, you realized your entire train of thought had been derailed completely because your best friend was kissing you.

“Get?” he offered when he pulled away again, another rather smug smile playing at his lips when you managed to look at him again, clearly flustered. “You sure about that?”

You appropriately told Jason to fuck off before you pulled him down towards you again for another kiss. And that kiss turned into another, then another, and another.

Your seemingly blasé attitude towards him and his constant teasing towards you had always helped you both shy away from whatever it was that you actually felt towards the other. It was easier to laugh at each other, or flirt, or push each other away than to actually move past your pride and admit how you felt.

But then again, between tender caresses and heated kisses, you didn’t think there was a need to really say anything out loud. Where his hands were on your body alone could tell anyone what was going on in his head.

You had missed him more than you could express in words, and it was increasingly clear that he had felt the exact same way. Your relationship had always toyed at the fine line between friendship and something more, and your actions in that moment had firmly moved you both past the former.

For so many years, your respective egos had provided a cover from a truth neither of you had been ready to come to terms with. But now, beneath the haze of cigarette smoke, sheets, and Gotham sunsets, you could finally see what exactly that was. There had always been something more underneath all of your smoke and mirrors.

And although it wouldn’t be right then and there, eventually, you’d clear all of that smoke away.

178 notes · View notes

bbangsoonie · 3 years

Text

to my ex (best friend)

member: juyeon genre: fluff?? word count: 2,175 synopsis: thanks to kevin’s tiktok obsession, you end up sending out a google form to all of the people you used to call your best friends. one response brings back forgotten memories and feelings.

“I can’t believe I’m stuck with the Canada boys for another 4 years,” you jokingly groaned.

Today was officially move-in day and the beginning of your college life. After roughly unpacking in your dorm room, you went over to Jacob and Kevin’s room to hang out. Jacob had his guitar out and was playing random chords for you to hum along to. Kevin, on the other hand, was glued to his phone. TikTok had been his new obsession and he was constantly watching the endless feed of videos.

“Hey, we are the iconic trio,” Jacob insisted.

“Wow Eric is basically a TikTok star now,” Kevin commented as he showed you two the video that popped up on his For You page. “This kid is stuck on straight TikTok though.”

Jacob laughed, although he was unsure of what that exactly meant. Knowing this, you chuckled at his efforts to appease his roommate.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Kevin tugged at your arm in an urgent matter. “Can we also do that Google form trend?”

“Uhh which one?” you asked.

“The one where you send out a Google form to your ex-crushes or ex-friends,” he turned to Jacob to further explain. “So basically it’s a questionnaire either revealing your past feelings or confronting what happened between old friends.”

“I don’t know, man. Our high school years were pretty vanilla. We didn’t even have that many crushes,” you shrugged.

“Hmm I mean we did have that huge friend group freshman year. It’s a shame it kinda fell apart as time went by,” Jacob reminisced.

You were reminded of the people you once considered to be your best friends. It was you and twelve other boys, which should’ve hinted at the inevitable end. The beginning of the end started with Hyunjoon transferring to a different school. Then, as you all grew older and high school drama kicked in, you were the topic of many rumors. People didn’t understand—or like—that you were the only girl in an all male friend group. Girls called you all sorts of names and spread ridiculous lies about you that spread to neighboring schools.

No one in the group had any bad blood with each other. Life just pulled you in different directions and you simply grew apart. Some joined the dance team, which consumed most of their time. Some joined varsity teams and focused on getting a sports scholarship. Some became trainees and lost contact with everyone. Some, like you and the Canada boys, became busy with college applications. Everyone had their own reasons and there were no hard feelings.

“Wouldn’t it be fun to finally find out what they all think? Get closure before we start our journey as college students?” Kevin asked, eagerly.

“I guess,” you agreed.

“Alright! Then we’ll play rock paper scissors to choose who has to send them out,” Kevin declared.

Your unlucky streak, without fail, won you the embarrassment honor of writing and sending the form to all your former friends. You grumbled, displeased at the fact that you were now the scapegoat fulfilling Kevin’s curiosity. Nevertheless, you searched through your contact list to find everyone’s phone numbers and sent them the link, hoping that no one changed their number.

By the next day, you received responses from all 10 of them. The trio reconvened in Jacob and Kevin’s room to review the answers. The first few were essentially what you all expected. They explained how life became hectic and your paths just crossed less and less as your interests and goals changed.

When you came across Haknyeon’s comment, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“You still owe me ice cream for lending you my pen during our final exam,” you read aloud. You recalled the day; you were freaking out about your misplaced pencil case and he had kindly offered his extra pen.

“What else would you expect from the foodie?” Kevin laughed.

By the time you got to Juyeon’s response, however, you froze. Curious as to what caught you so off guard, Jacob took the laptop from your lap and gasped. Kevin peeped over Jacob’s shoulder and his jaw dropped after reading it. He immediately looked at you, wondering how you were taking the information.

You were confused. He had been the object of your love and attention for a good three years in high school. Not wanting anyone to find out, you had swallowed those feelings and the Canada duo were the only ones to ever catch on. You and Juyeon used to be extremely close—even closer than you and Kevin or you and Jacob. He always quietly took care of you and the two of you shared everything with each other until one day he suddenly became distant. Without an explanation, he left your side and never returned. You just assumed he wanted to stop being friends. It hurt but you didn’t want to force a one-sided friendship so you stopped reaching out to him.

“What the heck?” you finally blurted.

Jacob slowly closed the laptop shut, eyeing Kevin who seemed way too giddy. He felt uneasy, not knowing if this was a good thing.

“So your first love was requited,” Kevin said smugly. “I told you so.”

“Okay you had absolutely no facts to back up your assumption back then,” you argued.

“What did I tell you? My gut is never wrong.”

“Yeah but he also just cut me off out of nowhere. How else was I supposed to interpret that?”

“Clearly not the way we did.”

Jacob smacked his hand over Kevin’s mouth to shut him up. He knew how much pain Juyeon’s name brought you. You didn’t show it but you still had a soft spot for him.

“It’s okay, Jacob. Whatever feelings I had for Juyeon—good and bad—are history. You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me,” you assured. “Besides, this doesn’t even mean anything. He wrote all of this in past tense. He’s just clarifying the reason why our friendship ended. Like Kevin said, I guess I finally got closure.”

“Closure? My brilliant idea has brought forth an opportunity for you to rekindle your love!” Kevin exclaimed excitedly.

“No. No way,” you shook your head. “The past is in the past. We are living very separate lives now.”

“Oh stop quoting Frozen and just try texting him,” he rolled his eyes. “Jacob and I never told you but he’s actually attending the same university as us.”

This prompted a very loud “What?” from you. Jacob buried his head in his hands, groaning. He was definitely going to get an earful.

“You’re bound to run into him eventually. So just take the initiative and face things head on,” Kevin advised. “Won’t that be less awkward than coincidentally meeting him after ignoring his response to the form you sent him?”

“And who’s the one who made me send it?” you glared, puffing your cheeks.

“You’re going to do it anyway so just hurry up and pretend you have no choice but to listen to me,” he snickered.

“Moon Hyungseo!”

At your use of his full Korean name, his eyes widened in fear and he jumped up to run away, barely avoiding your slap. Watching the scene in front of him, Jacob laughed. He had secretly hoped that you would reconnect with Juyeon as well. He knew how much you used to like him.

That night, you found yourself staring at Juyeon’s contact on your phone. Your heart raced at the thought of talking to him again. It had been years since you two last spoke and so many things had changed since then. You were no longer oblivious and clumsy teenagers. You knew each other’s past selves but didn’t know a thing about each other’s current selves. You were afraid that even if you became friends again, it would be too different. It was why you never harbored any hope for things to go back to “normal” with him. You couldn’t be disappointed if you never had any expectations to begin with.

Still, you took a leap of courage and sent a simple “hey” before you could chicken out. His reply was almost instant, which startled you.

You: hey

Juyeon: Hi Y/n

You: would it be weird if i asked to meet? i think we have a few things to talk about.. if that’s ok with you

Juyeon: Sure! How’s tomorrow at noon? We could talk over a meal at the school cafeteria

You: sounds good. see you then :)

You wanted to scream into your pillow. The awkwardness was driving you crazy but you were still looking forward to seeing him. He still had you wrapped around his finger and you hated it. But you still loved him.

The next day, your clothes were flung around all over your bed. You had rummaged through your entire closet to find an outfit you were satisfied with, resulting in you running a bit late.

Juyeon had arrived at the cafeteria early. He was so nervous that he couldn’t just stay still in his dorm. After all these years, he was finally confronting everything that he had concealed. He always felt guilty about the way he treated you and he was glad he could finally explain and apologize.

When he saw you approach him, he couldn’t stop himself from staring. It had only been a summer since he last saw you at graduation but your beauty still amazed him. He gulped, standing up to greet you when you reached the table.

The first few minutes were spent eating in awkward silence. Unable to bear it any longer, he cleared his throat to begin the conversation.

“Um so I guess my response to that form was a lot to unpack, huh?” he said sheepishly.

You almost choked on the food, surprised by his straightforwardness. He passed you your cup of water as you coughed.

“Yeah..” you mumbled.

“I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I think I always had feelings for you. At first, it was subtle. I just liked spending time with you. I liked making you smile. I was content with just being friends. You know me, I’m the type to just watch my crush from afar. Then, as we got older, those feelings grew to be bigger than I could handle. I began to get greedy. And I felt that I could literally do anything for you. That’s when I realized how hard I fell for you and that scared me. I was afraid of ruining our friendship but I was also scared of my own feelings. So I started distancing myself from you. It’s a poor excuse but back then, I was a coward,” he confessed.

Juyeon had always been a very direct person. He never really beat around the bush and you liked that about him. That hadn’t changed about him but yet it still surprised you.

“If I could go back in time, I wish I could have done things differently. I knew I was hurting you but I thought that after all that’s happened, continuing to be friends with you would make you the center of gossip again. I didn’t want to make your life any harder,” he added.

“Juyeon, I cared about you a lot more than I did about those stupid rumors.”

“I know that now. But high schooler me was terrified of you finding out about my feelings.”

You contemplated on whether or not you should bring up your own past feelings. You wanted to reciprocate his honesty but were worried that it would be unnecessary. You took a deep breath and decided on the first option.

“You know, I was also terrified of having you find out about my feelings,” you admitted. Your words shocked him as he tried to figure out what you were implying.

“Wait, you.. You liked me too?” he gaped, making you blush.

“Let’s uh stop talking about that now,” you said as your cheeks reddened to a darker shade.

“While we’re opening up..” he looked at you with hesitance. “Is there any chance you still feel the same way now?”

His question caught you entirely off guard. You blankly stared at him, wondering if you heard him correctly.

“Juyeon, this is the first proper conversation we’ve had in years,” you deadpanned.

“That’s not an immediate no,” he lit up.

You wanted to laugh at his simplicity. His childlike innocence was still the same. It warmed your heart to see that he hadn’t changed as much as you were afraid he would. Yet, the fear in the back of your mind remained. You weren’t confident that you could even resume your friendship with him. At your silence, he tried to lighten the mood.

“So then would being friends again be okay with you?” he asked.

“I guess we could try,” you slowly nodded, bringing a bright smile to his face. You didn’t notice that your expression reflected his.

“Great,” he grinned happily.

And that was the beginning of a new story between you two.

bonus:

383 notes · View notes