Tumgik
#dick & duke
vodrae · 7 months
Text
Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?
Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.
33K notes · View notes
redsray · 4 months
Text
i love the idea of the batfam wearing each other's merch cause like. i know they'd be petty about it. usually they'd wear their siblings merch in (kinda) equal rotations, but they'd change it up depending on sibling squabbles or sibling favours. Tim, walking into the kitchen in a Red Hood shirt: Dick: TIM!? Tim: what Dick: it's Tuesday. you always wear Nightwing merch on Tuesdays. Tim: oh. Tim: you stole my last granola bar, last week. Steph, looking for something in Jason's room: JASON WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE'S MERCH BUT MINE?! Jason, peeking into the room: i have your merch. in the trash. Steph: WHY Jason: you hit me with a blue shell in mario kart last game night. i'm never forgiving you. Damian, sporting a full-on Red Robin hoodie: Tim: woah. what brought this on? you usually only exclusively wear Batman or Nightwing merch Damian: you helped me take that splinter out of Alfred's paw yesterday. Richard on the other hand has recently messed up my painting palette. Dick, from the other room: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! Damian: he'll get over it. Cass, wearing Nightwing merch for the 5th day in a row: Jason: goddamn. what did Dickie do to get in your good graces like this? Cass, smiling: he made me a flower crown Jason: ... that's it? Cass: it was a very nice flower crown. Dick, buying seven Signal shirts: One for everyone. Duke, behind him: Dick, you really don't-- Dick: shhhh, sunshine. everyone will love your new merch. (they all wore exclusively Signal merch for a week straight) Bruce isn't allowed to change up his rotation or not wear someone's merch because he immediately gets accused of playing favourites. He'd rather keep some of his sanity, thank you.
17K notes · View notes
goodknifeboy · 14 days
Text
I know there are a lot of fanfics about Jason being caught by the Justice League and usually getting bailed out by the batfam, but imagine if it was Brucie Wayne bailing him out:
In the JL interrogation room:
Superman: Alright, Red Hood, who is your supplier helping you move drugs in Star City?
Red Hood, who was undercover investigating a drug ring and got caught in a JL bust and sesnses an opportunity to mess with Batman: Look, I know you guys aren't cops, but can I get at least get one phone call?
Justice league looking skeptical?
Red Hood: You can even monitor it.
Green Arrow: Fine one phone call, but it will be monitored.
Hands Hood a phone
Red Hood: Hey Dad, I got stopped by the Justice League. Could you come bail me out? Really, okay, see you soon. Okay, my Dad said that he would bail me, so could we go over to the teleporters?
Green Arrow: Okay, firstly, we aren't cops, you can't just post bail and get out. Secondly, how would this "Dad" get up here?
Red Hood: You'll see.
Minutes later, Brucie Wayne walks in with a trail of Heroes, trying to explain why he cannot be at the Watchtower.
Superman: Mr. Wayne what are you doing here and how did you get here?
Bruce laying the Brucie persona on thick: Well as one of the Justice League's biggest doners and tech suppliers I have access to the teleporters, as for why I'm here it's to bail out my son. Hi Jaylad!
Red Hood fully expecting Batman: What?
Green Arrow remembering his friend's grief over loosing Jason: Ummmm, Mr. Wayne this is the Red Hood. You know "Bag full of severed heads" Red Hood.
Brucie: Yes, I know he's had some issues with his big feelings, but he's still my sweet little boy.
Superman: And you think that he's your late son Jason Todd?
Brucie: Yes, Batman even confirmed it was him. It turns out that after he died, he was brought back by an organization that planned on using him as a weapon against Batman. But he left them and has been working to improve Crime Alley, I'm so proud of him.
Green Arrow: We caught him in Star City with Drug runners.
Brucie: I'm sure he has a good explanation, don’t you Jaylad?
Red Hood still reeling from Bruce showing up as Brucie and not Batman: I was undercover?
Brucie: See perfectly reasonable, now can I please have my baby boy back? Alfred will be so upset if he's not home for dinner.
Surprisingly, this works , the Justice League is to stunned by this revelation and later confirm this with Batman that yes, the notorious Red Hood is the son of Billionaire, philanthropist airhead Brucie Wayne. Jason, meanwhile, has suffered a huge blow to his cred in the Hero community because of the association with Brucie instead of the Batfam. The bat siblings do not let this go anytime soon.
12K notes · View notes
mikeluciraphgabe · 1 month
Text
Part 17 masterpost
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
11K notes · View notes
amorkuku · 10 days
Text
Tumblr media
robin war
10K notes · View notes
stormy-skyzzzzzz · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
the man the myth the legend
(he was gonna straight up shoot a guy)
14K notes · View notes
fakeicecubes · 2 months
Text
Reasons why the rest of the JL believes Batman and all of his children are metas/cryptids
-Weirdly good instincts
-They only see the bat and kids at night
-Hasn’t died
-If they have died, they came back within the year
-The JL has seen all of them at one point or another stay up for 96 hours straight and act semi-normally
-One time Batman was stabbed and started bleeding green(it was slime Bruce packed for kids to play with if they were at a crime scene)
-Red Robin didn’t cry while watching A Dogs Purpose for Young Justice’s movie night(he did, the mask hid his tears)
-They all know an absurd amount of Golf facts
-Somehow none of them age
-All of them are friends with a super
Wonder Women has the list and they update it after every mission.
11K notes · View notes
ditzybat · 2 months
Text
tim showing duke around the cave for the first time: there’s jason’s memorial case, and - oh, here’s dicks old nightwing suit, we call it discowing cuz frankly it’s kinda —
duke: it’s beautiful.
tim: what.
duke: all those bright colors, i bet he pulled in this suit
tim: i mean, i guess he was dating starfire, but she’s not exactly a normal girl —
duke: im gonna have to take notes, maybe dick will help design my suit?
dick wrapping his arms around duke and leading him away to discuss suit ideas: i’m glad someone appreciates my artistic eye
jason: imma kms, there’s two now
10K notes · View notes
Text
“Bruce Wayne is actually a really good father and all his children are just like that” is actually my favorite flavor of batfam
11K notes · View notes
incorrectbatfam · 2 months
Text
Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations
13K notes · View notes
Text
duke: who do you guys think is bruce's favorite child?
jason: it's probably fingerstripes
dick: me?! it's obviously you, jay
tim: it's jason
steph: facts. b lets him get away with everything, including murder
cass: jason
damian: as much as i loathe to admit it, father does treat todd differently
jason: ya'll are trippin'
meanwhile...
clark: b, just curious, but, do you have a favorite child?
bruce: hn, what date is it?
clark: um, may 12th?
bruce: then it's batcow
clark: what
bruce: did i stutter?
8K notes · View notes
evaningotham · 2 months
Text
i need the batfam fandom to give damian the same energy we give tom hollands peter parker in fics like
i want Field Trip to Wayne Enterprises fics
fics where damian gets phone calls from his famous siblings in class
fics where damian has to deal with the other kids watching thirst traps of his older siblings
fics where he’s getting bullies and one of them shows up in full vigilante attire to scare the middle school bully
just
damian al ghul wayne fanfic that centers around his school life and protective family
13K notes · View notes
maddie-w-draws · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
they are each going for a different genre of music and it sounds horrendous together but they are having fun i think.
my piece for @batfam-au-zine !
20K notes · View notes
jesterraconteuse · 30 days
Text
You don't understand there's a part of me that wants Alfred Pennyworth to never age but there's another part that's like
As Alfred grows older his body grows tired and everyone notices. And for Bruce that's his surrogate father. For everyone else that's Grandpa. Immediately there's a secret boot camp in the Batcave for everyone to start learning how to better care for themselves. Selina Kyle assisting of course.
There's already disability accommodations for Barbara so they just need to tweak and add some stuff. They've learned from her needs and start researching on how to care for the elderly for Alfred specifically.
On paper he's still a butler but really everyone (who lives or stays for a long time in Wayne manor) makes sure they learn how to do the hardwork for themselves. Most of his job is just to be there for them honestly. They insist on doing things for themselves.
But Alfred is Alfred. So he knows what's going on. And he's so deeply proud of them. He doesn't let him do anything he insists he can or wants do himself. He's still his own person after all, and they gradually learn his boundaries and patterns.
Bruce keeps paying him but not in a way you'd pay a butler usually. More in a way where you'd send money to your retired parents.
Do you see my vision?
8K notes · View notes
elecilaombre · 2 months
Text
Tim * holding a can of Pepsi * : Do you guys want some Pespi ?
Jason* laughing* : Some what ?
Tim : Pespi .
Duke : It's PePsi not PeSpi Timmy.
Tim : That's what I said Pespi.
Tim : Pespi
Duke : Please would you...
Tim * interrupting Duke * : Pespi
Tim * shrugging* : It's normal it's because I'm ambidextrous.
Damian : Ambidextrous ?
Stephanie * chirping in* : He means Bisexual !
Dick * at the same time * : He means bilingual !
Bruce * tired dad™* : He means he has dyslexia.
10K notes · View notes
begaycommittreason · 3 months
Text
officer: are these your children sir?
damian, forcefully raided a petco to liberate the animals: hello father
jason, released said animals on unsuspecting tourists for fun: sup old man
bruce: …nope
officer: oh, then them?
steph duke and cass, covered in equal parts confetti, dirt, and blood, waving:
bruce: oh no, im not touching that one with a ten foot pole
officer: …so it has to be one of them?
alfred, got into an altercation with someone at home goods over the last crockpot: i have no regrets master bruce
tim, hacked the cia to put himself higher than jason on their wanted list and accidentally implicated himself in an unrelated crime: i’m more disappointed in myself, really
bruce: …i’ve never met these people before
assorted incarcerated batkids: *various outraged clamor*
officer: then who are you here to collect?
bruce, pointing to a different cell, sighing: that one’s mine
clark, was pulled over for following all the gotham road laws (incredibly suspicious behavior): hi bruce!!!
16K notes · View notes