#i hope i made it understandable enough... im sorry if i didnt! I couldnt figure out the bestbway to describe them so i did what made sense | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mqnasluvr · 3 years

Note

heya ! i heard you were new around here, could i request headcanons of enemies to lovers with kaeya and childe ? any pronouns are fine ! they’re so annoying i hate how i love them nevertheless,, thank you belladonna and take your time <3

enemies to lovers | kaeya alberich

pairings; kaeya x gn!reader

mentioned; jean

warnings; enemies to lovers but it’s pretty one sided, spoilers for kaeyas backstory, no beta we die like men, a lil bit of kaeya slander im sorry i had to, gn! reader

word count; 2k

a/n; where did kyquu go? :( i hope they at least see this.. i didnt finish childes part but i wanted to push this out as soon as possible. :(

kaeya

to put it simply, your relationship with kaeya was... tiring.

you had been close to kaeya and his younger brother for years, them being your closest and most trusted friends throughout part of your childhood and teenage years. but that all came to a halt when the former admitted to being a spy from khaenri'ah.

in no way or form did he expect for you two to forgive him— but actually seeing your broken and betrayed faces hurt him more than he thought it would, and the image still haunts him to this day.

you had separated yourself from the two brothers. although diluc didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t want to pick between them ( even though you really should’ve ). that decision was too hard for you to make.

for years, you stayed out of touch with kaeya as he continued to climb the ranks within the knights of favonius, and you followed, much to your dismay. you worked hard to become a knight, and you weren’t going to quit just because of some bad blood between you and your superior. ( props to you for maturity )

he wanted nothing more than to reconnect with you, and maybe even diluc— but that was wishful thinking. diluc ragnvindr was a stubborn, hardheaded man, and getting past that exterior would be no simple feat.

so, he opted for ( not so ) subtly courting you— giving you the occasional wave whenever he saw you walking through mondstadt, offering to help you train ( although you declined every time ), and other small things. you question why he chose to do this now of all times, after half a decade of not speaking to each other.

you weren’t sure how to feel, but it made you agitated. not seething with rage, but it did annoy you to see his lazy grin whenever he walked into the angels share and saw you sitting in the corner of the room. it annoyed you whenever he did that stupid two finger salute before walking off, and archons, did it annoy you when he patted your shoulder after sparring as if you were the best of buds.

then why did your thoughts never stray from him?

that question, you couldn’t answer.

and so, you resorted to treating him like he didn’t exist. it was rude, but you couldn’t really think of anything else. avoiding him like the plague was the one thing you were good at.

as if things couldn’t get any worse, one of your worst nightmares came to fruition.

“jean, please. why can’t i do this mission with you? why... him?” you were basically at the acting grand masters feet, head in your hands and pleading up at the woman. she felt bad, but there was nothing she could do.

“i’m really sorry y/n. but i’m too busy with other things, and kaeya happens to be available. you know an ordinary knight wouldnt be able to take this mission,” her guilt worsened when you looked up at her with ( fake ) tears in your eyes. she kneeled to your height.

“i don’t know of your history with kaeya, but please, just put it aside for this one mission. it shouldn’t take you very long.”

jean helped you stand to your feet, the frown etched into her face growing deeper when she saw your shoulders slump. “alright, fine..i’ll try-”

“jean! have you seen y/n— ah, there they are,” kaeya waltzed in without so much as a knocking, making you jump in surprise and shoot a glare at him. he flashed you a lazy grin.

“speak of the devil..” you muttered.

“are you ready to go? we don’t have much time.” the mission you were assigned was to gain intel on what the fatui were planning. to get said intel, you had to sneak into a gathering held by the fatui. the dresscode was rather expensive— more expensive than anything you owned— so to help you out, kaeya took the liberty of purchasing an outfit for you.

kaeya dropped it into your arms. “change into this. don’t want to show up to a party wearing uniform, do you?”

“thanks...” your face felt warm from embarrassment, but you did have to admit, that was considerate of him.

he laughed and waved his hand, shaking his head. “let’s get going, yeah?”

—

you finished getting ready with the help of jean. she sent you one last apologetic gaze before walking you out the door, waving at you both.

kaeya didnt even hide the fact that he was checking you out. his eyes raked over your attire, before sticking his arm out for you to hold. “my, my, you look quite impressive, y/n. is everything suited to your tastes?”

you huffed and walked past him. “the corset is too tight, and the shoes are too small.” you were only half lying— the corset was a bit uncomfortable to move in, but he got your shoe size down to a T. how? you didn’t really want to know.

“if that’s the case, i can loosen it for you-”

“no.”

kaeya laughed it off, and you only grew more irritated. “come now, y/n. don’t be so stiff.”

“i am perfectly content with being stiff, thank you. now hurry up, i want to get this over with,” you muttered the last part.

you didn’t want to admit that you were struggling to take your eyes off of his attire. he was clad in a white suit with blue complimentary colors to match your own outfit.

you rolled your eyes. ‘of course he’d get us matching outfits.’

but, you didnt find yourself minding all too much.

—

the party looked like any other party— fatui agents littered all over the residence, along with guests in fancy clothing.

you tugged on your sleeve, feeling uncomfortable and out of place. but on the outside, yourself and kaeya blended in pretty well.

because kaeya was such a well known figure, he had to change up his looks a bit. no eyepatch, ( i know, so uncharacteristic ) and he used contacts to change his eye color to a darker shade.

he also put that disgusting rat tail away.

so he didn’t look completely different, but he looked different enough.

...the change was nice.

you couldnt help but feel watched though. but that was to be expected. even though you felt somewhat secure in this situation, anxiety rests for no one. it rested in the pit of your stomach dormantly, waiting for a moment to bloom.

looking around the ballroom, kaeya found people dancing in the middle. deciding that it was better to at least enjoy the party before leaving, he stood in front of you and held his hand out, bowing.

“may i have this dance?”

“who do you think i am-”

kaeya flashed you a cautious glance, head nodding towards a fatui agent who was keeping their eye on the two of you. holding back a sigh, you placed your hand in his. he grinned.

“thank you,” he said. you grunted quietly and held back a roll of your eyes as he dragged you to the middle of the dance floor.

“attention whore,” you muttered, feeling warmer as he placed his hand on your lower back and pulled you in closer.

“you wound me, y/n.”

“you deserve it. i wish i could slap you.”

he stayed quiet. maybe too far?

you shook your head. no. there was no way you we’re going to let yourself feel sorry for him when he was literally a spy.

but he feels honest enough.

sure, his intentions at first were.. questionable. but he’s changed for the better. kaeya has been in mondstadt for years now, and khaenri'ah fell ages ago. his love for mond shouldn’t be doubted for a second, even if he hides it quite well.

before you could look up and make sure your words didn’t hurt him too badly, he leaned down near your ear.

“we have to go.”

“what-”

“i’ll explain later, but we have to go,” he grabbed your hand and pulled you through the crowd.

you didn’t notice, but several of the fatui agents were watching you. you didnt change your looks as much as he did, opting to use simple touch-ups to make yourself more presentable. but it wasn’t enough.

“hey!” one of that agents shouted, and kaeya turned his head back to see how close they were. like he suspected, they were following gou. they pushed through the people, even going as far as knocking one man over, just to catch up.

you hurried your steps along with kaeya, almost sprinting to keep up with him. his grip on your hand was firm though. you two dashed up the stairs onto the third floor of the residence, where the bedrooms were. offices, libraries, bedrooms— they were all there. kaeya picked a random one and shoved you both inside.

it was a red themed bedroom, the lights dim with papers scattered along the desk on the other side of the room. “it seems we’ve gotten lucky,” kaeya joked, skimming over the papers. they were letters, between the fatui and some unknown source. kaeya stashed them in his jacket.

you didn’t understand how he could joke at a time like this. you still arent in the clear and you could hear rapid footsteps coming upstairs. “kaeya—!”

“you know how you said you wanted to slap me?” he said while tucking the last bit of papers into his suit. he didnt even give you a chance to answer. “you can, after this.”

you were confused, but when he backed you up against the wall and pressed his lips to yours, that confusion turned into anger, then more confusion, then understanding.

sighing when you finally caught on, he pulled your body closer to his and you wrapped your arms sround his shoulders. he tugged and nipped on your bottom lip, and if you didnt know any better your knees would be knocking. he was almost too good at this.

suddenly, an agent— a female one, this time— barged in. “have you— hey! take that shit elsewhere, lovebirds!”

kaeya hid your face in his chest, grinning lazily at the woman. his lips were swollen and his eyes were lidded. the woman blushed.

clearing her thoat, she held up a picture of you. well, moreso the back of your head. “have you seen this individual?”

he stared at the woman, then glaced down at you. “..sorry. i’ve been busy, i haven’t seen anyone of the sort. wish i could help,” he shrugged, and the ladies blush worsened. “o-of course..” she muttered, before closing the door and locking it.

kaeya snorted at the irony. he looked back at you, who was still touching your lips with your fingers.

“was i that good?” he chuckled, and caught your hand when you moved to slap him. his laughter died down and he looks oddly serious.

“y/n, we need to talk..”

“...no we dont,” you turned your back to him. he put his hand on your shoulder.

“yes,” he sighed. “we do. i know you didnt want to do this with me-”

“kaeya..”

“-and really, i understand. but i’ve changed, and i know you’ve noticed. i dont want you to hate me forever-”

“kaeya-”

“and you can’t-”

“kaeya!” you nearly yelled. he finally stopped talking over you. “i don’t want to talk about this right now. can you just drop it?”

“then when?” he narrowed his eyes. he laughed humorlessly when there was no reply.

kaeya’s eyes softened the longer you stayed silent. he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you in for a hug. “...sorry.”

“could you please shut up,” you mumbled into his chest. he laughed softly.

“i know you’re wary right now. but all i ask for is a second chance,” he pulled away and hend your hands together in his. “...please.”

it was an odd sight, seeing him this vulnerable. then again, there was a good chance he was faking it to get on your good side but.. for some reason you found it hard to believe that. he looked truly sincere.

you groaned.

“you better not make me regret this.”

#i took inspo from a fic i read on tiktok... ill try to find the original creator #kaeya x reader #kaeya x reader genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #kaeya x y/n #kaeya x you

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tastyykpop · 3 years

Text

[ᴡᴇʟʟ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅɴᴛ ᴋɪʟʟ ʜɪᴍ]

Pairings: mafia boss!jaehyun x reader

♡𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡♡

Warnings: dom!jaehyun, brat!reader, yandere themes, orgasm denial, slight edging (like really slight), thigh slapping, ropes, vibrator, punishment kinda, creampie, unprotected sex (stay safe 🙏)

The glass in Jaehyuns hand shattered as he saw another man approach you. He was beyond pissed. Mostly at you honestly. You were basically letting it happen because to you, this was all fun and games.

It shouldn't be though.

Jaehyun was a dangerous man. Someone you really shouldn't be around and someone who had a lot of power, over anything and everyone. Most people were terrified of him and only idiots would dare to speak out of line. And if they were lucky, maybe, just maybe they'd make it out alive.

It all happened when you came to this bar for a good drink and a slight buzz. But here, there was always someone hitting on you. This someone happened to be Jaehyun. It was the first time you met him too. Unfortunately, like the idiot you were (and still are), you talked back to him. It wasnt because you were trying to be rude, but instead you were fed up with the way he was acting towards you. The small brushes on the shoulder and the hand on your knee was getting on your nerves. But what really annoyed you were his comments. Not realising who he was and the power he had, you got angry and gave him back handed comments.

You only stopped when you felt a sting to your thigh.

Luckily for you it was only a slap. Not a knife or a bullet. Jaehyun was never this gentle.

Everytime after that, you would still come back to the bar, in your usual seating and Jaehyun would always be there. He even remembered your favorite drink after the first few nights. How sweet. But now, he was seated away from you with a group of men, watching your every move since he couldnt be with you at the moment.

"Baby that dress looks so pretty on you." The guy sitting next to you commented. His tongue swiping over his lips to coat them in his own saliva.

"Hmm thanks." You smiled, knowing that an angry Jaehyun was watching you like a hawk from across the bar.

The man's hand began to slither up your thigh, dragging his hand up and down. It was nothing like Jaehyuns rough, yet loving hands.

"I want to get to know you more." You turned your head to face the man and raised an eyebrow. "Come home with me."

"Sorry, but I'm gonna have to say no." You took a quick swig of your drink and smiled.

"Come on baby. It'll be worth your time." The man took your hands into his and brought them to his lips.

Jaehyun was going to kill someone today.

"Im sorry," you pulled your hand away, giggling, "but I said no." The man was still relentless, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge. Your eyes lit up and you searched around the room to see if anyone was seeing what was going on, stopping on your boyfriend's cold eyes.

Jaehyun got up from his seat, walking towards you. Your hand pulled away like lightning. A groan coming from the man next to you. Panic filled your body as you knew someone was going to get killed, or injured.

An angry Jaehyun is not a good Jaehyun. Especially if someone touched his girlfriend. And he let that go too far.

"Whats my pretty girl doing?" Jaehyun pulled your hair to the side and lightly kissed your neck. It was odd hearing such a soft voice come out of Jaehyun, yet you could feel how pissed he was.

"I-i was just talking..." His hands grabbed your waist, digging his nails deep into your side. Jaehyun wasnt an idiot, but you tried.

"And who the fuck are you?" The man asked. You actually forgot he was still there. But he wasn't going to be for long, Jaehyun ripped out a gun and pointed it at the man before making sure the safety was off.

"The real question is who are you?"

"I-i..." the man stuttered, obviously threatened by the weapon in your boyfriends hand.

"I dont like waiting." Jaehyun cocked the gun.

"I-im no one s-sir my apologies." The man walked away as quickly as he could from the both of you. Jaehyun snickering at how pathetic he was.

"Im gonna killed him for touching you."

"No, you wont. You can't always hurt someone who talks or touches me."

"Dont talk back to me, im not in the mood." You got up from the bar stool and walked with Jaehyun to his car. A very expensive one at that.

"I dont care if your in the mood stop acting like a bitch." Your sparky comment took all of Jaehyuns power to not bend you over and spank you in public.

"Get in the car Y/N."

"No." Crossing your arms over your chest, you turned and walked away. That set Jaehyun off.

You were suddenly in the backseat of his car, your face pushed against the seat and your ass in the air. The dress you were wearing was barely covering anything anymore.

"Listen here you pathetic little slut," he whisped in your ear, "if i tell you to get in the fucking car you listen, understand?"

You tried to get out of the grip he had on you, but it was no use. It just earned you a smack.

"Stop moving and answer me."

"Yes." A sigh left your mouth as he let go of you and walked to the drivers seat, starting the car. Leaving you in the back flustered.

"Come on pretty girl you can take it." Jaehyun was currently fucking you with a vibrator. The vibrations sending you over the edge as he kept moving it in and out at a slow pace. You grabbed his arm and dug your nails deep into him, hoping that he'd stop punishing you and fuck you for real.

"P-please.." You begged as you squirmed on the bed from all the edging he was doing.

Jaehyun ignored you and picked up his pace. The room was filled with a mix or screaming, moaning, and wet sounds, just how he likes it.

He pulled you in for a rough kiss, teeth clashing with each other. The rougher he was, the more passionate he was with you.

"Im gonna cum." You moaned out, pulling away from the deep kiss, having enough of all the toying from the man above you.

"No youre not." He ripped the toy out of you, ruining your orgasm.

"Aw look at that baby, guess you won't cum again for another month."

You glared at the man as he sat there with a playful smirk before he moved on top of you, leaning down to bite and suck on your neck, leaving purple and blue marks on your skin as a whine left your lips. You wanted more, but knowing Jaehyun you probably weren't going to get it until he was satisfied enough. But you knew he was going to give up sooner or later. The boner brushing against your thigh was not going to go unnoticed by you.

"Stop...teasing..." You tried saying as Jaehyun moved back up to kiss you again.

"Why should i?" He looked up with an eyebrow raised, "You werent exactly the nicest to me. So why should I be nice to you?"

You frowned at the older man ready to talk back again, but the sudden cold hand cupping your hot entrance stopped you. The lower half of your body was almost grinding on his hand for more friction. Jaehyun noticed and smirked at your attempts to get off.

Smack.

"Dont even try that." He kept the same agonizing smirk on his face, giving him a more sadistic look than before. Your movement stopped with a pout and you watched Jaehyun take his hand away from your core.

"Then ill just do it myself." You pretty much just pushed Jaehyun away from you and attempted to please yourself, but you knew damn well it wasn't nearly as good as Jaehyun himself.

"Look at the pretty girl trying to act all tough." Jaehyun cooed at you, taking your hand away from your core and pinning your hands above your head. "Have i not been punishing you good enough? Is that why your acting even more bratty than usual?"

"No," you shook your head at your boyfriend, "its the fact you going to kill someone just because they touched me."

"Well i have a newsflash for you princess," Jaehyun leaned closer to your ear and whispered, "theyre already dead."

"Y-youre insane Jaehyun..."

"But thats why you love me." You watched as Jaehyun got off of you, moving to find something in the very large closet you both shared. When he turned back, you expected another toy he was going to tease you with, but no. He had ropes in his hand as he walked towards you with the same sadistic smirk that you hated yet loved.

He tied you up effortlessly, only giving him a few hard times but that only ended with a few smacks to your thigh.

Jaehyun stood back looking at your naked figure, a small blush painted your cheeks as you felt small under his gaze. Yes, Jaehyun was rather proud of what he was looking at. The beautiful hickeys and bite marks that littered your thighs, neck, and chest. The red hand prints on your thighs wrapping around to your ass. And the crescent shapes in your hips from his nails digging into your skin. He loved all of it.

You could hear the sound of clothes dropping to the floor, but didnt bother turning your head, too embarrassed to look at him now that you felt more exposed with the ropes holding your wrists to the bed post.

"Spread your legs for me princess." The sound of Jaehyuns voice brought you back to reality. You looked at him, his eyes staring into yours waiting for you to do as you were told. But did you didnt move. Just adding more fuel to his anger. "I said spread your fucking legs." He growled. You did so a bit too slowly for his liking and it only ended up with him forcefully spreading them himself.

A quiet gasp left your lips watching as he began to slowly grind into you, making you feel his bare cock against your pussy. Your sighs and moans filled the room, jaehyun watched closely, taking in every whine and movement you made. He pulled back and you waited for him to continue grinding but no, he was inside you without warning, not giving you anytime to adjust.

Jaehyuns fast pace shook the bed and your wrists were chaffing against the ropes. Moans erupted from your throat from the pain and pleasure Jaehyun was giving you.

"Fuck, Jaehyun...."

Jaehyun moved his hand from your hips up to your throat giving it a tight squeeze, "Such a dirty mouth." His hips snapped forward making your eyes roll to the back of your head and more cuss words were choked out. Earning a disappointed head shake from your boyfriend.

The lewd sounds of your bodies filled the room as he continued fucking you into oblivion. If someone walked in, they would be sure to have the image of you being fucked by Jaehyun with his fingers in your mouth and hand wrapped around your throat all while being tied up, stuck in their head for a few months.

"You love being a brat huh?" Jaehyun started whilst making eye contact, "Cause you know you'll be fucked like the pathetic slut you are. Am i right princess?"

He took his fingers out of your mouth to let you speak, "Y-yes." You moaned out. A quiet chuckle rang through your ears.

"Needy little brat..." His pace was faster yet sloppy and you knew he was close. The bed rocked and the sound of skin against skin filled your ears. Jaehyuns grip on your throat not planning on letting go as you struggled for breath.

"Jaehyun....p-please I'm gonna-"

"If you even dare cum ill beat your ass." That changed your thoughts about even bothering to let go, knowing he wasn't playing around.

Just as you felt like holding it in wasnt enough, Jaehyun was already one step ahead and came inside you, riding out his orgasm with a low groan.

Jaehyun pulled out, removing the ropes from your wrists. They were as red as your thighs and they stung too the touch. Jaehyun, being the nice man he is, even though he was still slighlty mad, took the time to give you after care, applying a cream to your wrists and butt just so the redness would calm down and cleaned up the cum dripping down your thighs.

After all that he laid beside you, embracing you in his arms and kissing the top of your head. "My pretty girl." He muttered against your hair before the both of you drifted off to sleep. Although you were still angry that you couldnt cum.

#nct smut #nct #jung jaehyun #jung jaehyun smut #jaehyun #jaehyun nct #jung jaehyun nct #nct 127 #jaehyun smut #nct dream #wayv #nct u #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #nct fluff #nct angst

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Milk Bread

Oikawa!Reader x Ushijima

a/n: bahahaha oikawa would literally disown yall though

anon request: Hiii if your request is still open could you also do an Oikawa's lil sis!Reader x Ushijima please~ fufufufu

ushijima and i could go get our own farm and have our own cows and horses and uggghhh

this entire,,,,, fiasco was an actual accident

it all started when you were so hungry that you ended up eating tooru’s milk bread

you were part of the girls track team in seijoh and competitions were starting soon so the team has been making practice mandatory during lunch as well

this caused you to only be able to survive off of snacks rather than your normal bento so you were blazing hungry when you got home

and when you are hungry, you go on a rampage

your brother was staying later practice so he wasnt home when you arrived

the fridge door almost unhinged and out the window by how roughly and quickly you opened it

the only thing in there was bottles of water and vegetables and you were not hungry enough to eat freaking raw onions

then you searched all over the cabinets for anything edible until you stumbled upon a clearly hidden milk bread

you guessed that tooru hid it bc he knew either you or takeru would eat it but heh, he didnt hide it good enough

finders keepers, right?

and as long as he doesnt find out it was you, itd be fine

you giddily opened the bag and ripped off a piece before smiling at how delicious it was

but this was cut short

you were so caught up in your happiness with the food that you missed iwa and tooru coming home until you heard your brother scream

‘Y/N-CHAN!’

your eyes flew open and you froze, mid-bite

his eyes were wide and his mouth was agape as he watched you scarf down the rest of the bag quickly before dashing upstairs

but tooru’s shout for iwa-chan made the buff guy snatch you from the hallway despite you kicking and screaming at him to let go of you

‘IWA-CHAN NO!!!!!’

you yelled but he just tightened his hold on you

‘i bought oikawa that bag, y/n’

you pouted then crossed your arms

‘you bought it for an oikawa, not a specific oikawa though’

so tooru ordered you to go to his favorite bakery, which was all the way out there like an hour away, and buy him a dozen bags of milk bread

‘TOORU YOURE GOING TO GET FAT!’

*offended oikawa*

‘I BURN ALL OF IT DURING PRACTICE ANYWAYS!’

‘hm, explains why you have no cake’

y/n stop thats so mean !!!!

but doorkawa though

so there you were, shoving all of the stock they have in the store into the big cart

if someone were to walk by you right now, theyd stare at the cart then at you weirdly for being a milk bread addiction

and thats exactly what happened

ushijima went to the bakery bc tendou won a bet and demanded a milk bread from this specific bakery

so he was entering the building, a single milk bread in mind, when he saw you, literally shoving all the bags down with an arm into the cart

he paused, like 5 feet away from you, just watching as you continued to take all the bags they had in stock into the cart

but he just wanted one bag so he went up to your cart and wordlessly took a bag which you saw and caught his arm

‘um, excuse me, what are you doing?’

he gave you a stoic face

‘i walked 30 minutes for this bag of milk bread. im sure you can leave one for someone else’

you were about to retort when you saw who this guy was

ofc if your brother was oikawa tooru, youd know his hatred for the apparent ‘farmer idiot’ ushijima wakatoshi from shiratorizawa

the familiar eyes and the furrowed eyebrows

yep, this had to be him

‘you,,,, ushiwaka’

he nodded

‘yes. now if you’ll excuse me, ill be going’

but you again held him back

‘ushijima-san! take this-all of this! i dont need it anymore!’

you pushed the cart in his direction before bolting out the store in a hurry

now ushijima is known to predict almost anything that came his way

but never has he even THOUGHT that a girl would give him a cart filled with nearly 50 bags of milk bread

the store lady pushed the cart to the cashier and only did he finally snapped out of it when she told him the total

‘oh, um, you forgot this bag too’

what was he going to do with all of this bread?

you pedaled your bike home and when tooru saw you empty handed, he started shouting

but you just faked a pout

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san took it from me’

his ears turned red

and all he could see was red

i see RED! rED! ooOOhH rED!!!!

he got his phone out and dialed a number before shouting into it

‘YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS, IWA-CHAN! USHIWAKA-!’

ngl, you didnt really think that he would completely forget about it but he fell for it

you planned to use tooru’s hatred for him and just a single utter of his name could completely brainwash him from the milk bread stealing situation

‘MAYBE HES GOING TO BUY ALL THE MILK BREAD IN THE WORLD UNTIL I GO TO THE DAMN SHIRATORIZAWA! WHAT IF HES DOING THAT?! IWA-CHAN-!’

the entire situation completely slipped your mind a few weeks later and you even forgot that you met ushijima and left him a cart of the treats

but that was quickly remembered

similar to your brother, there was one day per week where you have no track practice so you found yourself in their gym at wednesday, just waiting for iwa and tooru to finish practice

you were just busy doing your homework and trying to help kyoken with all of his missed work when kindaichi shrieked from the side

‘ushijima wakatoshi!’

JAPONN

at the mention of his name, everyone turned to him and followed his line of sight where indeed, the tall farmer boy stood at the door

oikawa tooru was so shocked to see him and his nerve to show up at HIS TURF that he didnt say anything

‘hello. is oikawa y/n here?’

then all hell broke lose

tooru was screaming at you in betrayal

iwa was shouting and hitting oikawa to stop and holding him back from lunging at you

the others were yelling at how you knew this famous player

while kyoken just sitting there all chill

‘you know that guy?’

‘uh-well-kinda?’

‘nice’

you quickly packed up your stuff, confused and surprised, before bolting down the bleachers to the door where you grabbed ushiwaka’s hand to drag him away from the gym where tooru couldnt find you

you finally stopped by an alleyway about a street away from school and turned to him with scrunched eyebrows

‘ushijima wakatoshi-san! what are you doing here?!’

you whisper-yelled

but he just unzipped his gym bag and handed you a bag of milk bread

you were so caught off guard that you just held it on your hands and stared at it

ushijima noticed your expression and pointed at the food

‘i have a lot of it at home. i figured you wanted one’

you slowly looked up at him

‘ushijima-san,,,,, i,,, why-’

‘you seem to like milk bread seeing your cart full of it. i thought you still wanted one and i need to get rid of all of it anyways’

‘but,,,, you shouldnt have come all the way to seijoh! nii-chan-’

then you stopped

wait, hold on

how did he even know your name

‘how do you know my name, ushijima-san?’

he blinked

‘youre a known track runner in the prefecture in both the girls and boys. a friend of mine wanted to recruit you for the school team but you turned it down’

you paused and chuckled

‘ah of course. i actually wanted to go but nii-chan considered it a betrayal so i couldnt go’

‘but you should’ve come to-’

‘SHUT UP USHIJIMA! AND STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY SISTER!’

tooru’s figure was panting a little bit away from behind ushijima and he was pointing at him heatedly

you sighed and face-palmed but you flinched when ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders and held you close

‘she has talents that could take her to far places. i understand that she refused it but you might have greatly influenced that decision and never asked her opinion about it. im here to ask her to re-think this decision and join us instead’

‘YOURE NOT EVEN IN THE TRACK TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE!’

tooru raged and ran forward before grabbing your arm roughly to pry you away from the dirty touch of ushiwaka

‘we’re leaving, ushijima. and you better not talk to my little sister again’

he hissed and dragged you away but you turned your head and raised a hand

‘later, ushijima-san!’

‘SHUT UP Y/N!’

after that, ushijima knew to approach you in secret

you saw him by the gates after practice and you hurriedly hid him away from sight bc the moment someone saw that familiar purple jacket, theyd know immediately

‘ushijima-san! what do you want now?’

you whispered and again, he reached into his bag to give you a bag of milk bread

‘i need to get rid of them. and i also want to hear your opinions about joining shiratorizawa next year’

you laughed, softly clutching the bag

‘in truth, the bread was for nii-chan. and regarding next year, i dont think im leaving seijoh, ushijima-san, so sorry’

he nodded

‘i understand. but i do hope you will think about it, oikawa-san’

you cringed at the formality coming from someone as important as him

‘please, call me y/n. it sounds really weird from you’

‘okay, y/n-san’

‘no, just y/n’

‘y/n’

‘good’

then these meetings turned to another, then twice more, then everyday

it was becoming a routine at this point

track practice ended at 6, about 30 minutes before the seijoh volley so you could easily slip away from tooru, and ushi’s ended around 5 so he was able to meet you at the alley by your school

tbh, you didnt understand how you were meeting as such a shady place and you didnt understand why he would take such a long trip just to give you milk bread and ask you about the school

however, that soon changed

soon, you just talked about school and life in general while munching on food

he would occassionally talk about this first year goshiki and some setter shirabu and how they fought constantly

you knew a little bit of his best friend tendou and his dorm life back in shiratorizawa

he knew that you weren’t exactly in track for fun, but for scholarships since you werent exactly smart

part of you wondered if he used the dozens of milk bread in his house as an excuse to see you and make you eat them as compensation when he couldve just sent them back

yet eventually,

your conversations helped you know a little bit of each other without the title of fastest runner oikawa y/n or u-19 japan ushijima wakatoshi

‘tori accidentally broke a hurdle and sprained her knee so she had to sit out during practice. it was a mess because she was screaming about the pain and caused practice to end early’

you whined while chewing

he remained quiet so you turned to look at him, who was just staring at you

‘ushijima-san? you okay?’

‘waka,, toshi. call me wakatoshi’

you tilted your head to the side

‘i,, i can’t call you that, ushijima-san’

‘please, call me that. we’re friends, right?’

a genuine laugh escaped from you

‘oh dear. i mean, yeah, we’re friends, i guess. but nii-chan would not appreciate this friendship’

‘but doesn’t he like you having friends?’

he was confused as to why tooru’s even in the conversation

‘no, ushijima-san. i meant, he would not like me being friends with you’

‘why does he have a say in this?’

you paused

he was right

why did tooru’s opinion matter?

why did it matter so much that you’ve been hiding in this stinky alleyway with ushijima wakatoshi for a few weeks all because you were scared someone you knew saw you?

‘wakatoshi-san, do you have a brother?’

‘no’

‘hm, makes sense’

you laughed then looked away, straight at the dumpster that stood behind him a few feet away

‘my parents,,, are always working. even when i was young, they were constantly working so i dont really have good memories with them since they were rarely home. my sister, she was already in high school when i was born so the only person i really had was my nii-chan’

ushijima’s stare on you never wavered as he remained looking at you, inspecting you almost, the way your nose curved or your lips looked a little chapped or that crumb that stuck itself on the corner of your lip

‘he has always done everything for me,, in a way, he raised me and i appreciate everything hes done for me, yknow? and i want to repay him for all of that but im sorry to say this, but he doesnt exactly like you, wakatoshi-san. and me being friends with you, him not even knowing we’re meeting up like this, he would get very angry with me. and i dont to disappoint him’

you looked down at the remaining bread and softly sighed

it annoyed you a little that you cared so much for what tooru thought

why couldnt you live your life?

why couldn’t you just be your own person and meet people that you like?

‘we have only have 3 bags of milk bread left’

ushijima’s comment took you aback bc its not like you just told him something so personal or anything

‘huh?’

‘i need to buy some more’

you shook your head and waved your hands around

‘wakatoshi-san, i just told you, like, something really personal-’

‘but i dont care about all that though’

he blinked, confused as to why it mattered to him

‘what-’

‘y/n, havent you noticed that you’ve been calling me by my first name?’

his question made you stop and realize that you were saying wakatoshi

‘oikawa tooru is simply a person who helped raise you, he didnt make you nor does he have control over you. your life was given to you to live and create, not to be molded or shaped by someone else’

you nodded and patted his arm in appreciation, still awkward about having interactions with the guy

but he reached behind you and patted your back, averting his gaze forward

‘you have talent in track so i think you should keep running for a team that shares your skills. like your brother’s talents deserve to be played in a team full of undefeatable players’

you chuckled and shot him a confused glance

‘wakatoshi-san, youre over here telling me to do what i want yet youre telling me to do something else’

he seemed completely innocent to his hypocritical statement as he just looked at you

‘im just influencing you. theres a difference’

you shook your head and continued eating your bread, throwing the entire topic behind your mind

‘youre right, wakatoshi-san. we do need to buy some more milk bread’

little by little, you started to stray away from your brother

like you started coming home late and your wednesdays were now booked up with someone else

ofc he noticed and he went straight to iwa-chan to complain about it

by the second wednesday, he got fed up and actually cancelled practice which caused iwa to beat him up for stopping practice for something stupid

‘let your sister be, shittykawa!’

tooru pouted and rubbed the now sore spot on his head

‘somethings wrong, iwa-chan! i can sense it! shes hiding something and if its kept from me, of course i want to know!’

this led iwa to be dragged along with him as he followed you walking to somewhere

he remembered you getting flustered and smiling at him when you refused his offer to get ramen after practice with the guys

‘i have plans, sorry, nii-chan’

this caused oikawa to be very sus bc no tea, but he knows you dont hang out w other people outside school

so this led him to stalking you instead of talking and asking you like a normal adult

iwa was also there bc he lowkey sus and worried for your safety if oikawa does decide to lunge at your boyfriend

the two boys were huddled behind a car as you were just walking cheerfully, skipping every step

‘iwa-chan, she doesnt have a boyfriend, right?’

‘shes pretty and kind, it would be hard to believe she doesnt have one’

but as they continued to follow you, they started getting confused as to why you were walking in such an unfamiliar neighborhood

this wasnt exactly their turf and when they noticed a familiar looking uniform a boy was wearing as he walked down the street, oikawa almost busted a blood vessel

aw look at him tremble-

‘what in the ever-loving god of anime is she doing in shiratorizawa!’

he whisper-yelled

‘iwa-chan! is she transferring there?!’

‘shittykawa shut the hell up!’

you heard a familiar voice behind you and quickly turned around but saw nothing

you swear you heard hajime’s voice

but it couldve been just your imagination since you’ve heard him call that for nearly 6 years

you continued walking forward and you jumped to wave when you saw ushijima leaning against the school gates

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you greeted and he nodded, acknowledging your presence

‘y/n, you were late’

you giggled

‘why? did you miss me wakatoshi-san?’

‘hm, yes. the milk bread bakery is going to close in 15 minutes’

he said and held out his hand which you gladly accepted

tooru was basically strangling iwa by how he was so ANGY that his little baby sister was fraternizing with the enemy!!!

back on you though!!!

you still blushed when you held his hand but you knew there was nothing about it bc you ltr almost got ran over once

so basically,

you were finally opening up to going out in public w him as long as it was far away

and he suggested going to some ramen shop that they frequent at for some food

you were just walking side by side and humming a tune when you were interrupted by a loud honk that freaked you out and freeze

but ushijima, being a volleyball player and developing quick instincts, grabbed your shoulders and pushed you both to the side, away from the car

youve never had that experience before so you were quite freaked out and you were just hanging on to his jacket for dear life, hiding your face in it

he sensed your panic and placed a hand on top of your head to provide some comfort

‘its okay, y/n. dont worry bc ill always be there to protect you’

you turned red at that statement but ushijima was known to be very naive and he didnt understand that underlying suggestion in his words

‘thank you, wakatoshi-san’

you mumbled and he gently pried you away but he held your hand

‘this will allow me to pull you quicker and to make sure you dont wander too far’

you pouted

‘hmph, im not a child, wakatoshi-san’

he smiled, surprising you bc wowza was he showing emotions?

‘you need to be taken cared of, do you not? no matter what age, ill still look out for you’

to this day, he still kept your hand on his grip and your heart kept beating really fast

all these hangouts were really showing you the real ushijima wakatoshi that was so different from the court and you really liked it

from the strong and cold and cruel player to the awkward, funny, and naive schoolboy

he was an enigma and you were attracted to the remaining iceberg that maintained being hidden under the waters of his physical appearance

focusing on something else, you were tugging him along excitedly bc you forgot your bento at home today and you STARVED

‘lets get sweets!’

you cheered excitedly and with his hand still laced into yours, he looped it around your shoulders so he pulled you closer

‘semi told me he does this to his girlfriend when she gets too hyper’

um, sire, where did that come from?

from oikawa’s spot, he was starting to get hurt by how harshly he dug his fingernails in his palms while iwa was getting angry at how carelessly this farmer was handling his sister

but you werent bothered by his weird oblivious comments

‘im very hungry so we must hurry, wakatoshi-san!’

‘yes, yes’

unbeknownst to you, he kept looking down to observe your faces

when you would see a store, your eyes would widen and youd mumble about wanting to go there sometimes

when you saw a baby in a stroller, youd coo and unintentionally squeeze his hand

it was cute

and it made his heart jump every time

today was no different occasion

and he was finally able to put a pin into this weird action from his organ

lmao im so tired bruh im cackling as i type

earlier today during practice, he felt that jump when you whined to him about leaving your bento at home and expressing your excitement to get some food

that jump returned and he was so focused on texting you that he didnt notice his teammates watching him in shock

tendou even started hitting semi, confused and flabbergasted

‘ushijima-san,,,’

goshiki started but shirabu smacked him to be quiet

‘oh, i might not come to practice on friday since im going to the doctor’

the mention of the doctor, everyone freaked out bc they cant have their prized player injured or hurt

‘what,, whats wrong?’

semi asked and ushijima finally locked up his phone

‘im having weird random jumps in my chest and slight tickles in my stomach. google told me to go to the doctor if it persists so i made an appointment’

they all sweatdropped

goshiki uwu babie was biting his lip to stop himself from sobbing and thinking his senpai and rival was having an illness

but semi and tendou knew whats up

‘wakatoshi-kun, who were you texting?’

they all noticed the slight widening of his eyes and the sprinkle of light that shined through

‘oh, oikawa y/n. we’re friends now’

everyone shared a look bc he didnt really have friends outside the team and didnt bother himself with unnecessary relationships like these

‘oh god’

tendou mumbled and his grin widened

‘i,,im no doctor, ushijima-san, but i think youre experiencing the symptoms of a crush’

shirabu was basically the smartest than the others combined so when he said something like that, they believed him immediately

‘crush?’

ushijima wondered

‘dont tell me you dont know what that is’

goshiki muttered in disbelief

‘im familiar with the definition of the attraction to another person. but ive never experienced it myself’

yall why am i writing him to talk like this

‘youve been so busy with volleyball your entire life that you probably havent had time to actually admire the girls we have in school’

tendou reasoned so ushijima went to go wait for you by the gates and observed the females that passed by

nope, they all didnt strike him for anything

he just gave up until he saw you waving for him all enthusiastically and there it was

a simple glance at your smile and it leapt

it only got worse when you giggled and he clenched his fist to keep his heart from leaping out of his chest

the entire time, he felt it, especially holding your hand

to really be honest, he only did that after what happened and his mother used to do that to him to protect him from other cars

now that he had someone to protect, he was doing the same thing

you clearly didnt mind and just swung your hands along the entire time

eventually, yall arrived

the lady at the front was now accustomed by your appearances and she waved at you

‘hello ushijima-kun! oikawa-chan!’

you greeted her happily while ushi just nodded at her

your brother and his best friend decided it was best to stand outside to not garner suspicion ltr yall are stalking and everyone knows since the bell rang whenever it was opened

tooru felt his heart clench at the thought of you being on a date with this,,, !!!! farmer boy!!!!

the sister complex in this one is quite strong

it got even worse when he saw your giggling form and ushijima holding you close with your shoulders

next thing he knew, he entered the bakery and ripped you away from him

ofc you were surprised bc wtf why was here?

‘NII-CHAN?!’

‘oh, hello, oikawa’

^^ 2 types of people

‘didnt you hear me when i told you to stay away from my sister?’

he seethed

‘yes, i heard you. but i dont care’

‘wakatoshi-san!’

you whisper-yelled bc his answer clearly made your brother angrier

‘well, i need you to start caring bc you are not welcome to be a part of our family! i will never accept you as my brother-in-law! i will never visit! you hear me?!’

your eyebrows furrowed and you flushed in embarrassment

‘NII-CHAN! WE’RE JUST FRIENDS! WHAT ARE YOU SPOUTING ABOUT?! AND WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME?!’

he didnt bother to hear you and started dragging you by the arm

but you wrenched out of his grip and ran to ushijima, who held you close

‘hes my friend, nii-chan. i dont care if you dont like him but hes nice to me and he hasnt given me any reason to not be friends. now try to be a grown-up for just a few minutes and leave me alone so i can go hang out with my friend and you go back home with iwa-chan’

you firmly stated, glaring at him and tooru felt sad at this entire thing

were you growing up?

despite only being a year younger, you were always that ran to him for everything bc you looked up to him so much

but now, you were refusing and becoming your own person

you were still his baby sister but now, you were a grown woman who could make her own choices

and he had no choice but to accept that

‘okay. but come back home soon, okay, y/n?’

tooru’s quiet voice made your expression fall and you made a move to go to him but he already made his exit

‘nii-chan,,,’

you mumbled but ushijima placed an arm around your shoulders

‘you can go to him, y/n. we can-’

‘no. im,,, happy that he finally realized it. so lets continue’

you smiled up at him and he nodded, going back to looking through the cupcakes

‘how do you think hed take it if he finds out i like his sister?’

he off-handedly asks to no one but you heard and jumped

okay, you were used to his random comments and questions but this one had to be the one that took you aback the most

‘H-HAH?!’

but he doesnt seem bothered

‘my teammates told me that i have a crush on you so if i were to act on that feeling, would you accept me?’

your eyes flittered everywhere and you grabbed him by the shoulders and leaned him down to his level

‘ar-are you seriously confessing to me right now?’

he shrugged, so nonchalant

‘yes. before getting your brother’s approval, i should get yours first. will you let me be yours, oikawa y/n-san?’

your face scrunched up and you nodded, pulling him in for a hug

‘i like you a lot, ushijima-san. like a lot’

he softly smiled and buried his neck in your neck

‘i noticed when you didnt care about your brother’s dislike towards me’

‘yanno, for someone who is so against us together, hes the reason we even met in the first place’

he pulled away and looked at you

‘really?’

‘yep. i told you this, didnt i? i came for milk bread yet left with a boyfriend’

‘over a span of a few months’

you rolled your eyes but still laughed

‘yes, a few months and nearly a hundred bags of milk bread later’

the old lady was watching the whole thing and only made her presence obvious when she squealed

‘OH YOUNG LOVE! GET ANYTHING YOU WANT TODAY, DEARIES! WE SHALL CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF NEW LOVE AND FOR MANY MORE!’

you and ushijima shared a look before busting out laughing, you freezing when you heard his chuckles

he noticed your stare at him and he asked you whats wrong

you shook your head before grinning

‘im already already looking forward to falling in love with you. so make me fall really hard, okay?’

you just unlocked blushy and flustered ushijima wakatoshi

when you went home that night with bags full of milk bread, your brother practically forgave you

but you accidentally blurted out of your new official relationship and you knew what he did?

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry if i was gone for 2 days bc selling sunset came season 3 came out on friday !!!! but heres an update and i might post another later bc tomorrow’s my first day of school and id be too busy to update but id probably update in wednesday so feast on these in the meantime!!!!!!

408 notes · View notes

sleepless-in-starbucks · 3 years

Note

14 (bodyguard AU) and 46 (blind date) sounds fun,,, your choice of ship ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥

14. Bodyguard AU || 46. Blind date

Random choice generator got me creativisleep!

roman's a semi-popular actor- he's never really been to an awards show, and he's not been in That much, but he had a small but strong role in a real popular film and plenty of leading ones in lesser known movies. he's got enough of a following to be satisfied with himself, even if it isn't That huge of one

because of this, roman didn't take the possible dangers of his fame seriously... until he got jumped by one fan at a play in his hometown. he came out fine (he's always fine ;p) but it made him reconsider his choice to not have some sort of protection

he ends up hiring remy to be his bodyguard, a choice he Slightly starts regretting when he realizes remy, despite having excellent marks out of bodyguard school, is about as professional as a golden retriever

they take roman's food out of his fridge Whenever, borrow Way too many of his shirts (and roman hasn't seen his BMC 'boyf riends' hoodie since they got their hands on it), and is never in typical bodyguard wear (they wore a suit for the interview and never again)

but they also bring roman coffee (when did they get his regular figured out...?), talk to him like he's just a Person and not a celeb, and have yet to try and kill him themself so. roman's alright with them staying

(plus, is it so wrong if roman enjoys how they look? he deserves for a bit of an eye-candy sorta bodyguard, damnit, they're with him all the time after all)

remy's been with roman as his bodyguard for a few months when roman decides he cant just keep Lookin at a pretty person, he deserves to have a pretty person to kiss and cuddle with too!! so he pokes around for a bit, finds a non-homophobic service (he's pan, so he could Technically use a plain ol' straight service, but he refuses on gay principle), and uses it

idk how datin apps work but this one that im makin up is a blind match up app, which takes ur information and uses it to randomly pair u up with random accounts. the app keeps account info privated until After the first date has been gone on, to really maintain the 'blind match' aspect. the matched up people play a mini guessing game through the app about places they can go for a date until location and time is determined

roman likes the idea of the app mostly to keep his own identity secret as long as possible- he doesnt want people pickin his account Just bc he's a celeb, y'know?

the first couple of blind dates dont go well tho... most are nice people who roman just isn't compatible with, one was a straight woman who spent the entire date being Very homophobic despite roman's rainbow heart + pan flag pins, and someone who was clearly Too Much Of A Fan (remy had to physically pull them off of roman and help him escape the park before they could latch back on)

oh, did roman not mention? remy's been coming on all his dates with him

because of course they are! they need to protect roman! whether that's by eating dinner in the booth over or sitting two rows back at the cinema or awkwardly half-stalkin roman and his date while they walk about

so they're always there, to bring roman there and take him home, and listen when he complains about the bad matches and lament the almost-winners, and convince him he is a catch that needs to try again because eventually Someone will realize he really is too good to pass up

(remy always says that line in a weird way)

so he keeps trying... until roman has possibly the worst date ever

because he gets stood up. it's fifteen minutes past the scheduled date time, he's gotten no text explainin where they are, but he's sittin at the restaurant alone and starting to become rather upset by the pitying look the server gives him when he says he's still waitin on someone else before he orders

remy slides into the seat across from him at the 20 minute mark. shoots roman an apologetic smile that an outsider would mistake as a 'sorry im late' one when roman knows it's a 'sorry they didnt show' one

roman appreciates the gesture to save him, but he almost just wants to go home at this point. he's tired and bein stood up feels like Shit, actually, and he's about ready to call off the whole dating thing really, dramatic as that may be (like it's not his middle name)

but remy says smth about this place having really good sandwiches, and it's clear they're tryin so hard to help roman out here, even a little, and roman can't just dismiss that effort, so he picks up his menu again and orders smth and tries to ignore the way his face heats up just the slightest at the relieved smile remy flashes next

lunch with remy is great, actually, better than it would've been with whoever couldnt be bothered to show or apologize or Anything. remy even knows the way to an ice cream shop on the way home, sayin it's for roman's 'broken heart' as they pay for it

except, well... roman's heart isn't feelin so broken anymore

it's actually feeling pretty put together. really functional. functioning really fast. especially when roman's looking at remy. or when remy's lookin at roman. or when they smile. or when they laugh. or when they speak. or when they-

roman doesn't fall asleep until 2am that night, heart still racing a bit, screaming into his pillow a bit as he acknowledges he is wholly and totally head-over-heels for his bodyguard

he tells remy the next day he's done with dating for a bit, saying he's still upset over being stood up. he doesn't mention that it's also bc remy's ruined all other people for him

things try to fall back in routine from there, but it's a bit harder when roman's trying to not be so in love with someone who just works for him. and remy's definitely started pickin up on it too- they had asked him just last if he was okay, that he didn't seem as upset by remy takin his clothes anymore, and that didn't seem like him, was he getting sick?

the opposite, actually, absolutely nothing makes me feel better then seeing you walk around in my shirt or jacket or whatever else, please never stop and also kiss me?

roman just said he was tired

eventually... roman decides this can't keep going on. remy's giving him more weird looks these days, and roman is pretty sure being around remy so much without Any kisses is starting to cause brain decay (it's not, it's really not, remy always bein on his mind is just a side effect of.... pretti........). so, he takes matters into his own hands

admittedly, maybe firing remy wasn't the best way to go, given remy immediately demands to know why, what they did wrong, even asking if roman's being blackmailed into this

"blink once for yes, twice for no" remy asks, lowering the sunglasses they always have on to look directly at roman's eyes

roman doesn't blink for a full minute. he might not be breathing for that minute either. has he ever seen remy's eyes this close? has he ever seen them at all? they're such a brilliant shade of brown. roman could drown in them. he might be already

roman's pretty sure he started this conversation standing up, but maybe not, because when he finally blinks and remembers things outside of remy's eyes exist he's sitting down and remy looks extremely concerned

"okay... what's wrong, hun?" they ask, and oh no, they look so sad, and worried, and that's not good, roman should fix that right now, regardless of whatever he was doing before (he's forgotten)

"im gay" he responds intelligently. this will fix everything

remy, however, just looks confused. "yes?"

"for you" roman adds, helpfully, sure that Now remy will understand they're just really very pretty and nothing's wrong and if they feel bad still they should look in a mirror because then they'll be good again

now it's remy's turn to sit in silence, expression frozen in one of shock. they still havent put their sunglasses back on, so roman doesnt mind, bc this gives him more time to stare at remy's eyes

"you're having a breakdown because you're gay for me???" remy finally asks, expression unfreezing to look incredulous and a little hurt

roman returns a similar look. "im not having a breakdown!"

remy scoffs. "yeah, sure, right, that's why you suddenly froze and completely stopped breathing and minorly collapsed after i... look off my shades to look at you..." they suddenly break out in a smirk. "oh my gods, you're a gay disaster"

roman doesn't try to deny it, especially with the knowledge he apparently did stop breathing to admire remy's eyes. they have a point

"how long?"

"since that date you hijacked after i got stood up" roman admits. he finds it extraordinarily rude when remy starts laughing

...until they're pulling out their phone, hurriedly opening up the exact same dating app roman had been using, showing a log of all the dates they had planned- there's only one marked as having actually been attended

same date time and place of the one where roman had assumed he had been stood up

"you broke my heart!" roman says as remy puts away their phone, over-dramatically, not actually giving a damn, just feeling gay and a bit giddy at the thought remy hadnt gone to any of the other dates, just theirs

no longer worried quite as much about roman for the moment, remy's smirk just grows, smoothly moving from being crouched in front of roman to being set firmly in his lap, lazily brushing hair out of his eyes and wow was remy always this warm? and stunning? and perfect?

"i dunno babe... sounds more like i stole it" remy teases, movin from playing with roman's hair to cuppin his cheek, leaning in close and not even bothering to pretend to be looking at anything other than roman's lips. "which, yeah, bad bodyguard etiquette... i hope you can forgive me..."

roman doesn't need his words to answer that tease

#oops this got long ':) i got distracted by the gays... happy pride month djhbvcfjds #fanfic #creativisleep #ts roman #ts remy #nb!remy #the cryptid speaks #meri #yeah roman just. has an all out gay panic disaster moment right there #poor man 😔#also my characters keep ending up kissin in each other's laps can y'all tell im a touchstarved gay yet /hj

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brelione · 4 years

Text

Defender (JJ Maybank X Reader)

Warnings:Canon Rafe,Canon Barry,Violence,short.

Request:Hello, can you do one with JJ when his girlfriend is in some kind of danger and he is very worried about her? A bit angsty and fluffy❤️You’re the best!!!

JJ woke up at two in the afternoon to a call from you.He smiled, wondering what you were calling him for.Sometimes you’d call him to tell him a fun fact or about a really funny joke you had just heard.

The others werent awake yet and he wasnt planning on being awake for a couple more hours, wondering why you would be awake at this time.Half asleep he answered the phone,his smile quickly fading.

“What?”He asked, wanting to make sure that he had heard you properly. “I have no idea what to do, like they’re still there.”You whispered,glancing outside your bedroom window to see Rafe and Barry standing there, both of them holding pistols as they waited for you to answer the door.

You knew what this was about, that they were probably hoping JJ or the other pogues were there so Barry could have his money back.Your bedroom door was locked, hoping that they wouldnt kick the door down.

“Alright, just stay put im on my way.”He whispered through the phone, scared that if he talked louder Rafe and Barry would break in faster.You stayed still, hiding under your windowsill as far from your door as you could be.

You couldve called the cops but then you’d have to explain why the two men were here in the first place and what your boyfriend had done which would do more harm than good.You did your best to keep your breathing under control, knowing it wouldnt help to be gasping and sobbing the whole time.

He got on his bike, figuring that it would be faster than John.B’s shitty van, speeding to your house with his heart pounding in his chest, tears pricking at his eyes.If you got killed it would 100% be his fault.He couldnt let it happen,picking up the speed, thorns slashing at his ankles but he couldnt care less.

Barry kicked your door in, shouting for you.Rafe hoped he wouldnt be forced to kill you.You were one of the few pogues he wasnt absolutely disgusted by and he didnt want to make that list any shorter.

“Come out, come out wherever you are!Cant hide from us forever!”Her shouted,chuckling right after.Rafe was shaking, knowing that Barry probably wouldnt hesitate to shoot you.JJ skidded across the grass of your backyard,jumping off the bike with his hand on his gun,hurrying around the front of the house to see that the door had been forced open, cursing.

He wouldve texted or called you to ask if you were okay but luckily he thought about it, knowing that your phone would ring and give away your location to the two intruders.He tip toed through your house,finding Rafe in your kitchen.JJ was careful as he came up behind the older boy, getting close enough to press the cold barrel of the gun against the back of his head.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”JJ whispered,knowing that he had power over Rafe at this moment.Rafe went to turn, only for JJ to kick him to the floor, foot on the boy’s back and then gun to his head, Rafe’s gun falling from his hand.

“I-Barry is upstairs-he knows that you took his money.”Rafe managed to squeak out, the bottom of JJ’s shoe pressing further into his spine.JJ leaned down, grabbing Rafe’s gun. “Get the fuck out and dont come back, ever.I will blow your fucking brains out, understand?”JJ asked, stomping down on his spine to prove his point.

Rafe held back a shout, nodding, running out as soon as JJ removed his foot.He now had two guns which meant that now he was more powerful than Barry.Speaking of, he could now hear the sound of all the other doors being forced open.

He carefully made his way up the stairs,Rafe’s gun in his hand now because it seemed more powerful.He saw Barry approaching your door, praying that you had barricaded it.He was shaking slightly, knowing that he had the upper hand since Barry hadnt seen him yet.

He ran at full speed towards the man, slamming him to the ground.It was all kind of blurry,everything happening quick as JJ’s hand pressed into the brunette’s throat, lifting him up before slamming him back down, blood coming from his cheekbone,temple and lip.

He was nearly unconscious when your door flew open to reveal you holding a metal baseball bat as you prepared to bash someones head in. “If you ever come back here I will fucking kill you.”JJ shouted,shaking Barry by the shoulders.Barry was to dazed to even look at the blonde,his head rolling to look at you instead.

“You got yourself a defender, huh?”he chuckled, coughing blood.You glared down at him,stomping on his hair and making him hiss in pain.Barry got up, stumbling out of your house, the blood not stopping.

JJ let out a sigh of relief, looking up at you.He took the bat from your hands, hugging you tight. “Fucking hell, (Y/N).Im sorry.”He muttered,squeezing you so hard you thought your ribs might break.

“Its fine,JJ.Im fine, everything is fine.”You whispered,fingers combing through his hair.He was just lucky that he had arrived before Barry got to the right door, silently thanking the universe.

He insisted on taking you back to John.B’s, claiming that you would be safer there not that Rafe and Barry knew where you lived.You held onto him as he drove the bike,head on his back.He had gone slower on the way back, not wanting you to get your ankles slashed by the same thorns.

He had to explain the situation to the rest of the pogues, all of them outraged by the situation.They had lectured him about taking the money, “I knew we shouldnt have taken that money, I told you this would happen!”John.B exclaimed, becoming frustrated.

Pope and Sarah a lot more concerned about how you were doing mentally and physically after it, Pope asking if you were hurt at all and Sarah apologizing for her brohter doing something so terrible.

You told them that you were perfectly fine, not understanding why they were making such a huge deal of it. “God, I hate my brother.”Sarah groaned,resting her head against her palm.Kie rolled her eyes, looking over at you.

“Thats what you have to say?Rafe tries to kill (Y/N) and all youre worried about is what it has to do with you?”Kiara sighed, making JJ smile. “Uh oh.”He mumbled into your ear, kissing your cheekbone lightly.

“Shut up!”Sarah shouted back,John.B smacking his head against his seat. “Guys, seriously?”He asked, looking between the two girls. “Oh, as if you’ve been helpful!What are we gonna do now that they know where she lives?She cant go back there!”Kiara exclaimed, making JJ sit up.

“I agree there, that’s why I think she should stay with you for a while. I mean think about it, your parents like her best, right?And you guys have that fancy ass kook security so they cant get to her there and you two get to have fun sleepovers.I see this as an absolute win.”JJ agreed, his hand somehow ending up on your knee.

Nobody really protested it, agreeing that it was probably the best option they had. “I’ll just find a way to sneak in at night.”He whispered into your ear.Kiara bit the inside of her cheek, thinking about it.

She would be lying if she said it wasnt a pretty good plan, nodding. “Yeah, okay.”She agreed, pretty sure her parents would be fine with it.They liked you mainly because you were a girl and you were quieter than the others, they couldnt really complain about you much.

The rest of your day was spent pressed against JJ’s chest on the living room couch, kisses being placed on your forehead and neck. “I love you.”He repeated over and over again. “Love you too.”You muttered, his constant touching making you tired.

“Im sorry that Barry tried to kill you.”He muttered, sounding so serious that it made you laugh. “It’s fine...”You mumbled, still kind of shaken up over the whole situation. “Nope.”He replied, kissing you gently. “But i’ll make it up to you, promise.”He held up his pinkie, twisting it around yours.

@nas-marie-loves-u @28cnn @sexytholland @yuxsh06 @ifilwtmfc @cherryobx @poguestarkey @n1ghtsh4d3-67 @poguestyleskye @judayyyw @sunwardsss @meaganjm @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @jj-fic-recs @homophobicclownmoviestan @jj-iz-bae @natalie-kate-98 @negativity4you @nxsmss @ofmaybankheart @broken-jj @joshy-obx @curroptbunnie @outerbnx-stiles @angelreyesgirl100 @hannahhh-marie @sadnessrehab @outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

#jj maybank #jj maybankxreader #jj maybank imagine #jj x you #jj maybank oneshot #jj imagine #jj x y/n #jj obx #jj #rudy pankow

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freerebelmentality · 3 years

Text

The high cost of living

AN: ***TRIGGER WARNING*** MENTIONS OF DRUG USE AND OVERDOSE. ** Ok may I request a Winchester brothers x sister reader where the reader is depressed harms themselves and feels like she not good enough and is a drug addict like does weed and other drugs drinks to relieve her pain and her brothers found out and are not happy it and the reader just not having it and doesn’t want help and can’t handle being lectured about her brothers so she runs away and overdoses and her brothers find her but in the end her brothers help her in recovery and it fluffy in the end And can the reader age around 16-19 is up too you i hope this is ok for u if not I can change it. Requested by @supernerdycookietrashblr ** I took out the self harm and just stuck with the rest of the request. Sorry if this got way too long but I got carried away and I just really enjoyed writing this. Ideas came and wrote those down. So I hope you all will enjoy this and enjoy reading

************************************************************************

Word Count: 2,762

On the road again, you thought while sitting in the back of the Impala.

Looking out the window, seeing the trees pass by at great speed is when you begin to feel sick.

“Dean, Dean. Pull over, Im going to be sick” you say rather quickly

With one quick stop, Dean pulls over to the side of the road and puts baby in park

“Geez, are you ok? You want some water? Mint? Mouth wash?” Sam asks as he rushes to your side.

“Mouth wash?” you reply while Sam runs back to the car and searches his bag for his mouth wash.

“Feeling a little hungover? Or just sick, sick?” Dean asks as he comes check on you as well

“A little hungover” you lie to Dean while Dean goes back to the car and reaches for a beer.

He decides something a little stronger than beer.

He pulls out his flask and walks back to your side.

Sam notices how incredibly sickly looking you’ve become and begins to worry that you are coming down with something.

You knew you were coming down from your latest high, well more like from you latest fix and you needed another. Fast.

Dean hands you the flask and you greatly take it from his hands and drink the entire thing. The whisky made things a little more tolerable.

“Thanks man, I needed that” you tell him and walk slowly back to the car.

Dean and Sam looked to you and noticed how you were walking. Like as if you were in pain and cold. The weather was warm and a beautiful day really.

“Are you sure youre feeling ok?” Dean asks as soon as he gets into the car

“Yes, step on the gas. I wanna go home already” you irritatingly reply back.

Dean didnt like that, so he did what he was told and stepped on the gas to head back to the bunker.

Finally arriving.

You get out of the car as fast as you could and into the bunker. You ran all the way to your room and found your stash hidden in your room.

You felt as though you werent moving fast enough but you made it to your room.

Dean and Sam looked at you oddly as you ran fast into the bunker.

“What the hell is wrong with her?” Dean asks as he takes the stuff from the car and into the bunker.

“Maybe she needs the bathroom again” Sam replies following Dean.

“Hmm’ is all Dean says and goes to his room to put his things away.

Once you got the needle ready, you sat on the toilet and poked the needle into your favourite vain. You pulled back the syringe to draw blood is when you injected the stuff. Slowly

Once the stuff reached your body is when you started to forget about everything else. Your withdrawals, depression, everything. Numbing out everything perfectly.

Or so you thought.

You came out of your room to look for your brothers to hang out with or just to get them to stay away from your room anyway.

“Are you feeling a lot better?” Dean asks while turning away from his cooking

“Yes, I feel a lot better” you reply way to happy but oh well you replied anyway

“Ok then” Sam says while he adds more notes to the folders in front of him

He has been adding the men of letters archives, well the both of them have been doing that and they thought you were doing the same but you dont remember a thing from your last hunt.

All you thought about was how to get your next fix or even next high. Weed wasnt cutting it anymore ever since getting into the opiates.

Stupid for getting into those. Oh well choices were made and it makes the feelings go away.

As the days go by which weeks go by as well. Dean and Sam begin to notice how incredibly bad you got while hunting, sick, and more sicker.

After the sickness, you would be at your normal self and be the great hunter they knew you to be. But when the sickness came, it was as if they didnt know who you were. Didnt look like you or anything.

“Let me know when she goes out, ok?” Dean asks Sam as he watches you walk to your room

“Uh, ok. Why?” Sam asks not really sure if he wants to know the answer but he is curious to see what Dean is up to.

“I want to look through her room, I want to see if Im right about something. If not then I am going to feel like a complete dick about it later” Dean explains himself as he looks towards the hall.

“Right about what?” Sam asks looking out for you as well

He hears you coming out of your room and walk the hallway and waits for you to appear.

“Hey guys, Im going to head out for a bit and I will be home in an hour or something” you tell them and head out the door.

You didnt give them any time to say anything cause you needed to head out and look for the number one thing you have been needing. You needed your next high. You needed it bad.

“Ok, go” Sam says to Dean as he books it to your room

“What exactly are we looking for?” Sam asks as he digs through your stuf

“Needles or drugs” Dean replies as he sees a box in the bottom of the sink in your bathroom

Dean hoped it wouldn’t be the things he is looking for. Other wise all of you weird behaviour he has noticed for the past couple years would be more understandable now.

He has seen this type of addiction before in fellow hunter friends, their addiction to opiates and how they passed to overdosing.

He opens the box and sees his worst nightmare

“Sam” is all Dean could say and drops the box

Sam rushes to Dean’s side and sees what has fallen to the floor.

All the used needles, cotton balls and spoons. Along with the rubber bands. He also sees the unopened rigs.

“No” Is all Sam can say

He doesnt understand why you would want to inject anything into yourself with poison.

They get out of your roomand wait for you to come back to the bunker.

Dean has a few words for you.

Sam has a few questions for you.

They couldnt believe their baby sister would turn to drugs

Dean is beginning to understand the border line alcoholism but he always thought it was just something to help you sleep. He didnt think it was something to settle the withdrawals.

The next morning, Dean and Sam are still seated in the library waiting for you to walk through the doors. None of them moved from their seats, they stayed seated like that and waited for you. Dean was to heated to even move from his seat.

His anger turned to worry when you never showed. Until now, his nerves settled and now all he wants to do is hug you and lock you away. But he needed to say a few things first before he can do that.

As you come walking down the stairs and see your brothers in the library looking at you all tired looking. You were about to say something when you see a familiar box. Your heart begins to race.

“Morning guys, sorry I didnt come home last night and sorry I didnt call or anything” you say to break the ice but knew you should have said nothing and should have went straight to your room

“Y/n? What the hell is this crap?” Dean asks opening the box and pushing it towards you.

Your heart begins to beat rapidly because your brother has found your dirty secret. Your life long dirty secret.

“You went through my room?” you ask not even going to lie about the box they found.

What was the whole point in lying? They found it, they figured it out and you werent going to lie about it.

It was as if you secretly hoped they would find it, maybe them finding it would finally get you to stop and go to treatment.

“Of course we went through your room. We wanted to know what was making you feel so crappy and during hunts” Sam says next, he finally finds his voice.

“You found my dirty secret. Now what?” you ask as anger begins to form.

“Why? How long? This needs to stop now” Dean replies sternly, he didnt want to get too angry. Otherwise he would have ruined the whole plan he had.

“Or else what?” What are you going to do if I dont stop?” you ask while looking to both of your brothers

They both went quiet, they didnt want to give any ultimatums cause they feared you would pick the poison over them and they knew you are going to pick that over them.

They wondered what they did wrong to make you turn to something else to numb out everything.

Sure Dean hasnt been the poster boy about opening up his feelings about anything and he feels he should have done that with you. At least.

Sam should have pestered you more about opening up. How he does with Dean, he should have done the same for you. He didnt and he feels ashamed.

“You know, I’ll make things easier for you” you break the silence and walk down the hall and into your room

“What do you mean make things easier for us?” Sam asks as he follows you down the hall

“Where the hell do you think your going?” Dean asks next following behind Sam

You grabbed what you could and what you thought was clean. At least it was warm clothing anything, it was beginning to get a bit nippy out there.

“Im leaving. That way I wont be such a burden to either of you anymore” you reply while walking back down the hall and up the round stairs

“Y/n, no. Stay here and we will help you” Sam pleads with you as he follows

“Y/N!! Stop” Dean raises his voice

“You arent a burden. Stay, so we can figure out how to help you and let us help you” Sam continues as he looks to you.

You are at the top of the stairs and finally with one final thought. You turned the door knob and walked out.

Dean runs up the stairs and tries to block you from going any where but he is too late. He ran out the door and you were gone. He yells for your name, looks around and continues to yell for you.

Nothing, it was as if you disappeared into thin air and he wondered where you went or what direction you took.

“Son of a bitch” Dean says as he looks around with both of hands behind his head.

Tears fill his eyes as a lone tear streams down his face. He falls to his knees, feeling defeated he let this happen. Defeated he let anything go this far and didnt notice anything to begin with.

Sam comes running to him and looks around as well.

“Sam, shes gone. I couldnt catch up to her. I let her go” Dean tries to keep his emotions together. But he releases a sob

“We’ll find her, someone has to see her and security cameras are every where and one of those ust of caught her” Sam says as he helps Dean to his feet.

Months went by, Dean and Sam never stopped searching for you. Drove from town to town, Dean always tracked better when he was on the road. But his leads always went cold. You knew better to go off track cause you knew he would track you.

Finally Dean’s phone begins to ring. He takes out his phone so fast and answered it like his life depended on it. In a way it did.

Dean talks on the phone for a long period of time and Sam is getting anxious. He doesnt what is going on or who is calling.

Finally Dean gets off the phone.

“Well who was that? What did they say? Say anything about y/n?” Sam asks way too quickly

Dean couldnt understand a word he said, all due to the phone call he just got and that shocked him more.

“That was Y/n’s doctor. She was admitted yesterday and he told me that they saved her from an overdose. That its their third time saving her from the overdose. Why they never called the first couple times was because she didnt list any family members as emergency contacts. Sam we got to go. We got to get our baby sister” Dean finally says and begins running to his room to begin packing.

Sam couldnt believe those words came out of Dean’s mouth. More like he couldnt believe you wouldnt add him or Dean as your emergency contact to begin with. Until now.

They drove for hours and hours.

As they stand at your door, they see you laying on your hospital bed, IV in one hand while the nasal cannula is inserted.

Your attention is brought to the door and you couldnt believe your brothers are standing right in front of you.

“Hi” you break the silence as the greeting came out a little raspy and small

Your brothers came further into the room.

Dean is the first one who hugs you.

“Hi, I missed you” as a tear streams down his face

He hold yous a little longer, feeling as though he is going to wake up and realize its all a dream and have to wake up to a bunker without you in it.

“I missed you so much” he says as he holds onto you a little longer and tighter.

He feels as though you were going to dissolve away if he let you go. Again

“What the hell happened?” he asks taking a seat by your bed side

“I chased and ended up here” you simply answer your brother.

Well you felt ashamed by answering him

“Your face” is all Dean could say

He sees the bruises on your face, the dark circles around your eyes and how sunken in your face is. He is thinking as if he is looking at your skull.

“Ooh, I owe money to my dealer and he made an example out of my face. A few times. So to medicate, I chased the high so much, that I practically chased myself in here” you reply to your brother and look around the room

“The only way for us to get you out of here is you go to treatment and get help. Dean and I were talking along the way and thats our ultimatums” Sam says while Dean looks to him in annoyance

Dean wanted some time with you before he sent you to treatment.

“Ok, ok. I will get the help. I will go to treatment, I wanna come home” you tell them as you begin to cry.

Sam is happy and hugs you. Tears stream down his face as a sigh of relief escapes his mouth

“Thats what I want, for you to come home and go get help. We want to be there for you. We love you” Dean says as he hugs you.

He felt relieved he heard those words coming out of your mouth, as if all of his stress has been removed and now he can finally settle his nerves. Kind of.

For them it was an eternity. Dean felt as though he was in hell all over again but this time felt longer.

Sam felt like he was in the cage all over again in trying to look for you. Or he felt as though he didnt have a soul. Having you around was better and you are Sam’s other half just like Dean is his other half.

When all three of you are together, its as though everyone feels complete but when separated, thats when everything crumbles.

You felt like you are getting your family back, after being away from your brothers for so long. Well more like after running from your problems and creating more. You really felt like you are getting them back and earning their trust.

You and your brother hunted like a family again. Better than ever.

#supernatural #supernatural fic #supernatural fic request #request #dean winchester #sam winchester #hunter family #family business #sister!winchester #reader insert #supernatural reader #spn reader #spn fic #spn fic request

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words-for-holland · 4 years

Text

Happier (8) | T.H.

Summary: Tom, Harrison & Harry have a talk about Y/N. Our broken up couple has their first physical conversation with each other. Natalie has a little talk with a certain someone. Does another truth unfold?

Masterlist

A/N: To the readers, thank you for all the support! More drama to come!

Confrontation

No one likes it, but sometimes it’s needed to get a point across. Another use, to threaten another and instill fear, but we’ll get to that when we cross that bridge.

Harrison and Harry settled Tom down in the kitchen, ready to confront him about everything that’s happened. Tom fidgets with his fingers, unsure of what’s to come. All he knew, was he was furious that they both went to see Y/N, and didnt tell him. “Look”, Tom starts off, clearly impatient waiting on their prepared speech. “I just want to know why you left to see Y/N and didn’t tell me. Why am I being kept in the dark with everything?”

“Becuse you couldn’t figure it out. Even after being baby fed the information.” Harry says abruptly, his arms crossed as he stared down at his brother

Tom scoffs at the response, rolling his eyes. “How can I figure anything out when you all keep it a secret from me?! Mind you that all of this involves MY girlfriend and OUR relationship! And you have the balls to go out to find Y/N in secret and not tell me because I cant figure out a fucking thing in this chaotic fucking mess?!” Tom rants out, eyes and voice filled with anger and jealousy. He wasn’t sure if his yelling was towards the boys or if it was more toward himself, because deep down Tom knew he should have tried harder, but didn’t.

“No. Don’t you dare turn this on us, and make us look like we’re the bad guys.” Harrison snaps as he looks down at his best mate. “Just because you don’t know half the things that are going on, doesn’t mean you can be mad at us. Even when the words are written in stone, you’re still a complete div to not be able to comprehend it.”

“I dont understand.” Tom mutters as he looks at the table, trying his hardest to figure all this out. He had already talked to Natalie days ago about Kate and the pictures, but said she had nothing to do with it. They couldnt possibly mean there was more to the story other than Natalie being a complete piece of work.

“Read the fucking signs, Tom!” Harrison yells out. “I know you talked to Y/N that night about Kate and what did you say?”

Tom looks up at him, realizing what this is about. It wasn’t just about the pictures. It was more than that, something Tom should have realized and reacted to the moment it happened. “I said I was sorry and didn’t know what to say.” He mutters, his face now displaying a sense of guilt. “Fuck!” He whispers.

“Yeah start crying about it now you div!” Harry comments roughly, before continuing his speech. “Kate didn’t just backstab Y/N. She went behind the both of you. She was the spark that ruined your relationship, and you don’t know what to say to that?”

Tom shakes his head, realizing his mistake. For someone that works to display his emotions on screen, he failed miserably when it came to real life situations. It was miscommunication for him, the boys, and Y/N. In his mind, he was more pissed that Y/N was left there to think that he didnt care as much when in actuality he cared a lot. More than anyone would ever know, he cared the most. “No you all don’t understand that wasn’t my intention. Fuck!” He screams in frustration.

“Really and what was your intention then?” Harrison questioned, sarcastically intrigued to know Tom’s excuse.

“She lost her best friend. Fuck, she lost the only other person in her childhood that stood up for her, before this whole bullshit. That right there was more important than our relationship. I know shes the reason I got into this PR mess, the runors exploding, and pushed Y/N away fron me, but Kate betrayed Y/N’s friendship and trust. I didn’t say shit because I didnt want to make it about us. I wanted it to be about her and what she needed.” Tom spilled out, sighing deeply. Silence filled the air, and neither spoke for a minute, sinking in everything that’s happened.

“What she needed was you, Tom.” Harry said as both he and Harrison made their way out the kitchen, not until leaving Tom with a final warning. “We get that Kate maybe the reason she started all of this....but that doesn’t mean it ends with her.”

It left Tom wondering. Again, he had just talked to Natalie about the whole blackmail pictures but said she had nothing to do with it. Then again, she always wanted him to push away from Y/N. A talk he hoped would clear some answers, only left him with more questions. He knew who he had to talk to if he wanted straight answers, and she was going to give them whether she liked it or not.

Y/N had managed to avoid Tom the first week of her return in London. Sadly, it could only be said for that one week, and she had no one to thank, but a sink filled with dirty dishes to wash. Tom made his way into the kitchen by chance to grab sa quck bite to eat when he saw Y/N. It was his chance, he had to take it. It was now or never.

As he walked in, he made eye contact with her to which she responded with a slight smile and a nod. It was silent, nothing but the clashes of dishes and water running. “Do you want some help?” Tom asked with a smile. Might as well make the first move, he was a gentleman after all.

Y/N nodded as she handed him a dish towel, implying for him to dry and stack the dishes away while she washed. They continued this routine for a while, until Tom couldn’t take it anymore. “What happened to us Y/N? We were never like this in person. Hell the phone conversations we had the past weeks are more lively than this.” He confesses as he looks into her eyes.

Y/N shakes her head as she returns to her dishes. “There’s just nothing to say anymore. We’ve said everything we needed to say....Now things are just clockwork.”

“That’s not true. I know you still are keeping things from me. There’s more to this than Kate...” He waits for her to answer, but judging from the hesitation and the look of fear that dwelled in her eyes, his assumption was correct.

“You want to know everything?” Y/N asks as she looks in his eyes.

“Yes. I want to help you. I want us to be back to where we used to be before you left.”

Y/N sniffles as she shakes her head. “We can’t.”

“Why not?” He asks softly, hoping she will open up.

Y/N looks at Tom, taking a deep breath before she decides to tell him. She thought of the possibilities and the consequences that would come about. Kate was gone but it didnt mean Unknown wasn’t still out there. Everything had been so quiet the past few days, it almost seemed like she could breathe without having someone threaten her. Then again maybe her subconcious was right. Maybe it wasn’t a person anymore...Maybe it was just her.

Her mind wandered to Tom, who was staring at her waiting patiently for her story. Opening up her mouth, would be unleashing Pandora’s box and all hell could break loose. Blackmail, shattered dream, shattered relationship, broken trust, it would all come to the surface. The worst part...it wouldnt just stop there. But in this moment, Y/N didnt care. She had kept things bottled up from him for as long as she had. He deserved to know, he was a part of this as much as everyone. Maybe if Y/N kept Tom at bay, it would just be enough to statisfy Unknown and keep things as they were. Safe.

“Before I left...” Y/N starts off, her lower back leaning against the sink, eyes looking down as she lets out a deep sigh. “ There were already rumors of you and Natalie. Speculations that you’d be an item.”

“And you believed that?” Tom interrupts, his eyes rolling, unamused by how the story was starting. “Y/N if you were just jealous. Why didn’t you just say —“

“You think I didn’t know that?” Y/N fires back, scowling her eyes towards Tom, only to receive a knowing look from him that indicated to stop lying to herself. “Whatever. Yeah maybe I was a little when I saw how close you two got and how it just built the rumors. Did I want to tell you? Sure, but that didnt mean I could.”

“Im not following.” Tom comments, his messy eyebrow raised in confusion. “So you wanted to tell me..but couldn’t?”

Y/N nods, taking in another deep breath. “As the days went by, I started getting unknown text messages. At first they started off vague, saying how I didn’t belong with you. Look how much happier you were with Natalie. Did he ever do that with you? Did he ever smile at you like that? I bet he doesn’t love you anymore.”

Y/N’s eyes water as she relived the conversations, small sniffles escaping her nose. Tom was at a loss for words. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why someone would text complete lies to her. He was getting mad by the second as he heard each insulting sentence that came out of her mouth. “Y/N..” he says.

She shook her head as she continued. “But the insults started to become threats. They knew everything about me and was willing to use you as blackmail. If I didn’t breakup with you...they’d make sure you’d never live out your dream again. And for the life of me I wasn’t going to let that happen.” She cried, hiding her sobbing face in hands.

Tom quickly rushes to her, taking away her hands so he could look into her eyes. He held her close, cradled her tiny body into his arms as she tried to slow her breathing. “Then I found out Kate was behind the pictures and the start of the rumors, and now we’re here. I don’t know what to do anymore Tom. Everything’s just been so fucked up.”

“Hey, its okay. Im okay. I’m not gonna let them hurt you like this.” He cooed. “I dont give a fuck if it ruins my career or not. I care about you. You come first, that’s not going to change. But it’s over now, right? Let’s just move on from it. Ill break the PR, I’ll make sure Kate doesn’t walk away from this without serious consequences, I wont keep you a secret if it means it’ll fix everything.”

Y/N pushes away from Tom, reluctantly. She knew how much he cared for her. He was willing to risk everything just to make sure they would be okay, and in a perfect world, maybe that would have been enough. Could live happily ever after and not have to worry about anything anymore. Both could just walk away from it all if they wanted, but this wasn’t a perfect world. “Just because Kate started it, doesn’t mean it’s over. Unknown could still be out there.” She whispers, afraid of anyone listening.

“Then we find out. Together.” He responds, holding her hand. “I let you slip away once. Im not letting it happen again.”

He looked into her eyes, almost silently asking to hug her once more. Two embrace each other, and stay like that for a while. It had been so long since they felt this sort of comfort, which brought up a familiar and warm feeling for each them. So warm, so familiar...they almost didn’t want to let go. Y/N breathed into him, taking in his cologne, the one she had grown to love over the three years. It felt right. It was home.

But not all moments can last forever. Behind the thin walls was Natalie, who had overheard and seen the entire conversation. Hearing Tom, mention how he’d break the PR for Y/N and how he’d do anything, risk everything to find Unknown, rubbed her the wrong way. The way Tom held Y/N close, made Natalie furious, and as soon as she heard her phone ring, she answered. “He knows you exist.”

“A slight hiccup. He’s so caught up in Y/N, he just can’t see the real you.” The voice reassured. “Dont worry, he’ll love you when she’s out of the picture.”

“There is no out of the picture anymore. You should have heard him...He wont let her go this time.” Natalie answers, discouraged more than ever.

“Then we just have to up the antics. Clearly her dim-witted friend ruined the original plan. Thats the last time I ever trust an American do the dirty work. She can start a fire but can’t be beothered to finish a job. ” The voice scoffs. “If the messages don’t work, threaten her in person. Alone. Make sure Tom doesn’t see you.” The voice orders.

“You know it wont work. She’s not as afraid as she was before.” Natalie whispers as she continues to watch them from a distance.

“Then we’ll give her something to be afraid of. Why do you doubt me?” The voice asked, challenging Natalie. “Is this what you wanted?”

Natalie hesitates. Of course she wanted Tom more than anything in the world, but to what point? To what cost? These questions swirled around her mind as she thought back to how Y/N and Tom interacted in the kitchen. Their bond was so strong, they always found a way back to each other. For a moment...she felt almost bad. “Of course I want Tom.” She answers “but.. I want him to love me the way he loves Y/N.”

The voice scoffs at her response.loud enough for Natalie to hear the disgust in her voice. “Haven’t I taught you anything? Love is superficial gets you nowhere in life. You’re lucky enough that we’re settling for Tom.”

“I...I guess.”

“Then you’ll make sure Y/N stays away. Im doing this for you Natalie. Fame, fortune, your career, and your superficial love life. I want what’s best for you.” The voice becomes calmer more gentle, yet the sinisterness was still very present.

“Yes...mother.” Natalie says sourily.

“Darling, how many times have I told you to only refer to me as your publicist? Now go, before someone finds out about this.” The line drops, and Natalie focuses her eyes on Y/N who leaves for her room. Her eyes narrow, and fill with jealously and guilt. Her mother’s words replying her mind. “He will love you...just get rid of the girl.”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

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dragqueenpentheus · 3 years

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Okay no one has to read this but i DO have to write it:

PYROC VS FATHER PAUL

Ya bitch needs an art break bc im getting angry about voices existing as i try to keep myself entertained. Today is NOT a god one for sinking into repetitive line work and that’s just about all i have on the table atm

SO! Im gunna do a little thinking about my little meow meows all fucked up by religion. Just a comparison for my sanity and interests. Pyroc is my baby i wrote him for the first time years ago. Five?????????? Whadda hell. Going on six.

ANYWAY john joined religion because of his trauma. His sister died and he felt lost. He was unmoored in this fishing village and looking for reason looking for hope. Hed had his heart broken and trying to make sense of tragedy on his own was totally beyond him. Thats why his interactions with riley in AA are SO good like. He knows that confusion and he knows the rhetoric that’s supposed to combat it. Only it dooesnt work for riley.

The same sort of thing happens for pyrc, only inverted. Loss urns him away from god and religion because its SO strong in his family and not only is he loosing trust in god, but his kin as well. He’s suspicious there’s mre they arent telling him, at the point of his fathers death. And he agrees to, on the surface, absolutely wholly throw himself in to being the second the family and the village need. But he’s keeping his treachery under wraps.

That’s one of the coolest things about father paul imo is like. That slow unraveling of what is. Frankly. An awful half assed plan, driven by fear and loneliness and desperation and dementia and love. Even VERY obvious things like. Taking down the newspaper photo of his young self ‘slip’ by him. I think, on some level, its DEEPLY intentional. He wants people to CHOOSE this. He wants people like bev. He wants people who see him and are in aw of him beating god. Of killing death. He wants to be worshiped and adored and for people to come to him willingly, no tragedy driving them to his arms.

Pyroc also wnats to be worshipped, but he ALSO wants to do the worshipping. He really longs for an element of almost????? But not quite??? Subjection?? He wants to be shown something and for a Great Voice to tell him, unquestioningly and unerringly that it is GOOD. Full stop. And then he wants to spend his life worshipping it. But this booko is an exploration of how….. no such thing exists. And more importantly no great voice exists either. There is nothing wholly good, nothing wholy evil. His lack of faith in himself once he becomes god is him starting to understand that as well. Thats on purpose baked into the lore. The starting point was ‘what if god was a position and in order to get promoted you had to be a murderer. No matter what’. He understands things are not wholly good, at that point. I onder how long it will be for him to realize they are not fully evil as well?

Bc pruitt does hm hm hm an interesting move. Where he takes something the narritve is very sure to communicate is EVIL no wiggle room just fact. Even if its driven by animal instinct its. Evil. And he makes it, not just good, but HOLY. And god i LOVEEEE that for him i ADOREEE that what a MOVE. Driven by desperation and dementia and relief and ‘if god saved me than maybe i can be good despite loving and sinning and maybe if i defeat god then i will be Thee Good’. SO sexy of him. Im really fascinated by his morality. He seems to have an understanding of the shades of grey in some respects??? But if he had a BETTER one with more forgiveness in his heart i feel like hed have left the church anyway after sarah was born??? Even if millie didnt ask him??? That might just be my own sensibilities creeping in but ….. like he culd have seen her on the weekends. He can do other jobs. Hes straight (??? Not totally convinced of this) he could have just dated her that makes me crazy. LIKE OBV HE HAD LINES HE THOUGHT THAT WOULD CROSS AND HE HAD INTERNALIZED THE CHURCH AND THE RULES AND SHE WAS MARRIED AND ECT ECT i know he couldnt have really but. Thye were straight. They coulda.

Im not gunna do fantasy homophobia bc i think its …………….. Boring. But i think some element of??? The vindlegaurd line MUST be passed along and for that particular rules must be applied. But thats also boring as hell :/ maybe i can work in my parthenogenesis lore?????????? I bet pyroc would love building that spell in any universe. That’s the sequal when he goes to magic university in helsin. But yeah i do like the concept that. Anyone can have a baby thru magic its just a time and energy commitment. Just a matter of wanting it enough together. Every baby is so deeply wanted and its mere existence is proof. Thats dope i love that. HMMM to be decided at a later date when im deeper into the story i think. I still havent figured out fully how and where and why orion is going to be invovled and if???? Pyroc and orion are even going to be romantic??????? Im torn im TORn…….

Thikns about john bonding w sarah over science and learning and starts wEEPING…. Like theres some surity beloved. Its just a matter of uncovering. I think sarah felt that same thirst for answers and hunted them differently. Her faith is in logic and science. I loveeee her god. Every scene w her and her dad absolutely RUIN me like!!!!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW!!! SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW LOVED SHE IS!!!!!! I hope at hte very end she saw the blood as the gesture of love it SO clearly was and not him trying to poison her. God i love that she spat it out. GOD. Thats about being gay, btw. Spits the religious offering that could save you across the gasoline soaked church floor like BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think we as a collective should talk about the possibiites around sarah/erin more. Bc their defiance combined would be. Earth SHATTERING for crockett.

In the future pyroc gets a kid. Ever since that campaign where Enemy ended up playing his daughter im like. How did i NOT know this idiot wanted nothing more in the entire world than to travel it with his daughter. I dont care how or why hes getting a kid. Hed be so doting and awful abut it. He would need orion as a co-parent for the kids self esteem to be normal levels. thINKS ABOUT PAUL GETTING TO RAISE SARAH AND JUST ABSOLUTELY GASSING HER UPPPPPPPP HANGING EVERY DOODLE SHE EVER MADE ON TEH FRIDGE. BOASTING ABOUT HER SCEINECE PROJECT OT ANYONE WITHIN EYESIGHT EVEN THOUGH ‘WE K N O W JOHNWE WERE ALL AT THE SCEINCE FAIR’!!!!!!!!!!! Let these fuck ups be doting fathers im fucking begging. That scene where paul is like. You take ccare of everyone on the island sarah. Its more than being a doctor. You comfort them.

HM HM comfort is such a thing for Miss Bitch like!! He sees it as a Good Thing. He tries to bring it for riley by asking to hold the AA meetings on island ((also manipulation. Obvously also manipulation. I wouldnt have bene shocked if he was slipping the vampire blood into the coffee every meeting either. But thats just a theory. A game theory.)) ANYWAY he sees comfort as hly. The church gave it to him when he needed it. The angel gave it to him in the cave. Feeling safe and warm is HIGH on his list of priorities and what makes him hand over respect.

I think pyroc has lived a very comfortable life in SO many ways, but in none he. Activly recognizes. A key part of his character arc his him…. Opening his eyes to the world around them. Seeing the privilege he has and being like. Wait. This isnt Right. We have to change thi. And when no one agrees ti shifts to I have to change this. With Violence. A little revolutionary <3 it only costs the life of his whole ass family

Thats more fun comparison ground like…… paul is SO much about I know whats right and there is a cost but i AM ignoring it. Like HE KNOOOOWSSSS he knooooows he just doesnt want o See. I’m not sure if im going to surprise yroc with the ……megadeath of. His whole family. Or if it’s a choice he has to activly make. I think a choice makes it more compelling, more layerd. It has to be in the moment though, becaus ei think thats. A key difference between them. Pyroc wouldnt do it.. hed just leave hed peace out and do what he could in small ways. But he wouldnt do his big stand off with god. Hed shrink his goals in order to not hurt his family. Out of love?? Intimidation?? Some instinct wihtin him that balks at the idea of disobedience??? I think even he doesnt know. But i LOVE john becaue he jsut decides to lie. He closes his eyes and says i am being stupid on purpose. I think thats PERHAPS more compelling than good guy coward pyroc BUT!!!!! Thats who he is rip to ths little man. Cant change him now hes a whole ass child in my head. The PLOT i can change. Him….. not without massive character development <3

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MM set my brain on FIRE!!!! Im so glad nano is coming up. I love sharpening pyroc against the comparison of other AMAZING characters. Father paul hill my beloved millstone <3 anyway sorry to anyone who reads this its literally me unhinging my jaw and emptying my brain out. I had to write stuff that wasn’t novel or fic. A little character time down and dirty. I wil NOT be editing this love and light to future me trying to decode this

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #pyroc #midnight mass

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galaxytale · 3 years

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mmmm…. i have new thoughts about my ex and i’s situation.

i know i have rambled on here in the past about them. often bitterly and angrily. to be honest, those words came from a place of immense hurt and betrayal. a lot of pain and a lot of complex emotions that i needed to vent out and process. and the way i did this previously was… rather embarrassing and harmful and not good for anyone. but it has been a long year, and i have had much to think about. and my brain does not like to process many of these things in a normal way. i often just use this blog as a place to barf out my thoughts at random so i can work out whats going on in my mind. this doesnt excuse it but i hope it allows for some understanding.

its been a long time since my ex and i broke up. and i just… idk didnt know how to deal properly. but i think about them a lot. obviously. what you see is mostly the negatives. the frustrations and the confusions and the residual aches and pains. mostly because these are what im trying best to understand. i want to understand them, i want to understand their perspective. it frustrates me when i cant understand, and it frustrates me more when i feel as if they couldnt understand me or didnt even try. but i still care for them greatly. which is why i get frustrated. i do not think many people understand this. i want to understand why they hurt me. i want to understand how i hurt them. i want to learn and grow. but to do that i also have to experience and process the anger and frustration i felt towards them. this is what you all see when i ramble and rant.

anyway this is the last time im doing this publicly because honestly this is a stupid way to process stuff this and i figured out something way better. also im just. tired of it. im tired of being angry and being hurt. that doesnt mean itll stop but. yall wont be seeing it.

i still hold many of my previous thoughts and criticisms of them. and i still consider many of these valid and fair. and i still deny ever doing many of the things they accused me of because ive spoken with other people about them - people actually involved in the situation(s), and they have supported and corroborated my side of the story as well as my feelings regarding those various situations.

however i have come to some realizations that i think allow me to better understand parts of their side of it all.

ive realized some things about myself and how my mind functions that have lead me to other realizations. these realizations include that i misunderstood a lot of things they were trying to get me to do, tools they were trying to get me to employ, things that actually would have been helpful to me had i understood. i see now that in some of the cases they were pushing me on and making me extremely uncomfortable with, that they were genuinely trying to be helpful because they cared. because they were trying to help me just as i was trying to help them.

the problem here is that i was not ready for, and did not understand a lot of the new things being pushed at me. much of what they were trying to get me to engage with were therapy techniques and stuff to learn to cope better. unfortunately due to a lot of previous bad experiences with therapy and such techniques i am extremely adverse to and suspicious of therapy and therapeutic settings/techniques. combined with a lot of new information about myself that i needed time to adjust to and process. a lot of it scared me and i needed them to slow down and be gentler with me in this rather than throwing me in the deep end and expecting me to swim.

i misunderstood a lot of the tools they were trying to offer me - how to use them properly and why. i thought i made this obvious that i didnt understand a lot of it and in fact didnt want to engage with a lot of it outright - even though i was willing to try. the issue is i also needed a good example or instruction of what they wanted from me and… well. they did their best, this i know they tried, but it was not enough for me to understand what they really wanted from me.

i now understand that this is likely why they grew frustrated with me. and this also factors into something that ive come to realize and understand about myself - in fact its one of the things they criticized about me most… ive come to understand the true nature of what the thing i did that they hated most was actually. and ive since worked out a solution to it that actually has been shown to be far more effective and efficient in doing what the thing they were criticizing me about most was doing. this took a lot of work and a long time for me to come to the realization of what it was that i needed to do and how it worked. and i needed to be allowed to make this discovery on my own time, at my own pace to be able to accept it as part of how i work.

unfortunately due to a lot of things, i was also quite terrible to them myself. and i recognize this. i recognized it before - i tried my best to fix my understanding of it but i did not know what i didnt know. i did not know, and did not understand, what i now know and understand. but much of my actions were because i was scared, confused, uncomfortable, and dealing with a whole lot of shit outside of our relationship. and i am genuinely and truly remorseful for what i did. i was remorseful back then, and i still am now. i did some bad things and i know this. i speak of it vaguely here because honestly while im just shouting to the void i still know this is a public blog and theres a chance people will actually read this and frankly. i consider it none of their business unless they were involved. i did lash out at them, and i did treat them unfairly.

however i still feel as if they refuse to acknowledge my point of view in much of this, as well as that they lashed out at me and have refused to acknowledge and apologize for it all. i have never heard them say the words “im sorry” for any of the things i consider the worst things they did to me. much of the time they refused to even acknowledge the fact that a lot of it hurt me despite me outright stating such. they also refused to acknowledge that i had repeatedly tried to assert my own boundaries with them and refused to accept a new boundary when it was drawn.

they did a lot of terrible things to me in return. including things that they, themself, accused me of doing to them initially. i still deny these accusations and consider myself completely innocent (at worst, should my own memory really be that faulty, i consider myself only having caused a huge misunderstanding among friends as well as having accidentally fucking up something that left out important context). i feel this way because they would not produce any evidence to prove to me my own actions that would negate the memories i myself actually have as well as the evidence in support of my side of the case that i have. all they could provide was testimony from a person who would not have had direct access to either side of the conversation that they are alleging happened a certain way. a conversation that i, personally, was half of. a conversation that i spoke with the other half about again, after showing them what i was being accused of, who also verified my recollection of the events.

i feel as if they refuse to even consider my perspective. i felt this way for a good amount of the relationship, and i still feel this way. i feel that they refused to communicate with me and ensure that both of us completely understood the other. i feel that they refused to be considerate of my needs and respectful towards me as a person after a certain point. i feel as if they refused to work to compromise with me on many situations, and i feel that they often tried to demand of me many things that were unreasonable, and that they often moved goalposts or failed to deliver on their end of the deal when i still bent over backwards to do something for them.

however. i do also feel that at some point in time, they did genuinely care for me. and i do feel like i would like to apologize for the new places where i realize i caused them undue stress and frustration.

but i also feel that they would not accept this apology for those parts that i now recognize my own hand in without me accepting and apologizing for the narrative that i know is false. additionally… i do not feel as if they would accept or apologize for any of their own parts in the situation. i still feel theyre likely to reject that they hurt me very very deeply, and badly in return.

as much as i would like to start the conversation of potentially working out the issues and reconnecting as friends… i still feel as if they would view this as an impossibility. because i feel they view me as something of a monster, and not as someone who was under immense amounts of stress and pressure and was very confused and scared for months on end.

i recognize its very likely their feelings echo my own. except for the portion about potentially being friends again… i feel as if this is a forgone conclusion to them that it will not be happening.

all this said…

i also want to say this. in hindsight they were right about the tool they gave to me for one of my specific issues. the one they gave me before the start of it all. the one i was extremely adverse to accepting and trying to adapt to. i did not understand what its actual purpose was for at the time, nor did i understand how they actually meant for me to use it. because of some recent things ive learned about myself, as well as have been able to actually accept, i now understand what they meant. and ill admit that they were right about this one. its really helpful now that i understand what i was supposed to do with it.

they were right and i was wrong. simple as. at least, in regards to this one thing.

#chrono speaks #griff talks about his ex #for the final time anyway #this is all for me tbh #just cuz its helping me to come to terms with some stuff and feel more at peace with things #i dont think theyll see it #they never looked at my blog anyway before #just ive been doing a lot of introspection and thinking and you guys only see a portion of it all and not even my real like #level headed thoughts on things

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dylshoney · 5 years

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when you’re ready

requests: maybe a shawn fic based on “when you’re ready” but you’re not the girl he sung about? and the girl shows up 10 years later and tries to get him back and you guys have been together for like 3 years and it just causes insecurities ?? does this make sense?? (love your work btw❤️)

Hellurrr! I have a request, if you will? TW Anxiety Attack Like if the female!reader has an anxiety attack because she thinks she's not good enough so Shawn helps her and holds her?

a/n: this was my first time trying to write angst (cause im usually an optimistic ass bitch) so if its bad just lie and scroll post ahahaha but i wanted to try and @superiorsoph sent this request in and i couldnt resist. im sorry i didnt follow it exactly, but i hope you like it love.

warnings: language, angst

“Stay still!”

You hear him say for the umpteenth time, but you pretend not to hear him, twirling around in the dress, laughing and shaking your hips.

He makes noises of disgruntlement and soon you hear the shutter of his camera go off, the flash blinding you for a few seconds, but you don’t care. You glide over to the full-length mirror on one side of the store and smile at your reflection. He was right, the dress is gorgeous.

You push down the fabric, loving the smoothness under your fingers and twirl once more. You can see Shawn roll his eyes in the reflection, but you can see the hint of a smile threatening to peak through. He places his camera back in the casing and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to press his head on your shoulder.

You’re both silent for a moment, just staring at the pair of you in the mirror. You hum, your head falling back into him, “I think we found the one.”

“I told you I’d be useful,” he tuts, pinching your hip. You flinch, turning around to smack his chest, “You only just started being useful. The past hour has been torture.”

He’s laughing, the beautiful crinkles on his face making your heart melt but you love teasing him, so you can’t give in just yet, “Trying on twenty dresses definitely wasn’t necessary.”

“No.” He agrees, smiling down at you with a shit- eating grin. “But we had to test all out options, didn’t we?”

You shake your head, turning back around to see yourself in the reflection, triple-checking that this was the right choice.

“You have to delete those photos, you know?”

“No!” He sounds almost offended. “Those are memories, there’s no way I’m getting rid of that.”

“But I look horrid,” you pout, blinking innocently.

“Don’t give me that face,” he shakes his head, “They’re all blurry anyway.”

You grin victoriously, winking at him, “The music in here is just too good – I couldn’t resist.”

He pauses for a moment, raising his finger to the ceiling, eyebrows raised. You focus on the sound of #Selfie by the Chainsmokers, your ears getting hot as you begin to nod slowly, “It has a nice rhythm?”

He shakes his head, but you’re already dancing again – thankful that there was no one else in the store on an early Wednesday morning.

“If you dance like that tonight, I’m going to pretend I don’t know you.”

You ignore him, taking his large hand into yours and spinning into him, his laughter getting louder as the two of you stumble around together.

The music changes to Troye Sivan’s Dance to This and you squeal a bit, getting overly excited as the two of your start shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs. You can see the nice sales associate trying to contain her giggles as she pretends not to watch you, but you don’t care.

You’re watching Shawn. Your eyes never leaving him as he throws his head back, laughing as you mess up the lyrics. His hands pull you into him, your chest hitting his as you begin doing some sort of heightened version of a slow dance. His hands are warm against you, sending a current of energy through your body.

You’ve never smiled wider in your life, your heart clenching as he places a kiss on your forehead and you can’t believe that you’re still so in love with him after two years of being together. It’s never stopped being butterflies and sweaty palms with him – you’re body reacting to his touch like it was the first time.

Everyone around you recognized that as well, even the sales associate as she checked out the dress a few minutes later. You two are adorable, how long have you been engaged?

Shawn had squeezed your hand extra hard as the two of you tried to contain your giggles, explaining to her that the ring on your finger was a promise one. But Shawn made sure to add that he was hoping to fulfill that promise soon.

You felt like you were on cloud nine, leaving the store with a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. You knew that Shawn was it for you, never once doubting that he was the person you were going to marry.

You just didn’t expect that maybe; you weren’t it for him too.

Later that night you found yourself at yet another event with Shawn, wearing the pretty red dress and smiling widely as people approached you.

You were happy to find that you could easily recognize and talk to many people, a stark comparison to how you were when you had just started going out with Shawn. You were more confident now, excepting that you belonged next to Shawn, that if you stood up straight and acted like you were meant to be there – people would believe it too.

You were sipping a Shirley temple, bopping your head lightly to the beat of the song radiating through the room, talking to Lina – the daughter of a famous record producer. She was probably your closest friend related to the industry, but she was usually too busy to attend these kind of parties – so you were taking in every second you could get with her.

“Ok look at Marsha,” Lina lifted her chin, motioning to a woman a few meters away from you, “She’s about to go talk to Roger. For the sixth time tonight.”

“No way.” You shook your head, cringing as Marsha started making her way over to the older man again. “He’s said no to her single like a million times already.”

“Have you heard it?”

“No.” You paused, “Wait? Have you?!”

She snorted, “I wish I didn’t.”

“Come one!” You threw your head back, “I would have paid to see your reaction.”

“I can perform some for you, if you’d like?”

You were quick to shake your head, but she was already going.

“If I could fly … I would never leave you dry ….”

“Stop! Please!” You were bent over, holding your stomach as you tried to contain your laughter. She was so off pitch that you were tempted to cover your ears.

“Maybe we could last forever ….”

“I don’t know what sadder,” you heaved, “The song – or the fact that you know it by heart.”

“She made me listen to it six times!”

“That sounds like – ”

“Excuse me.” You turned around at the sound of the voice, feeling a light touch on your shoulder. You were greeted with the sight of a beautiful blonde staring at you with a small smile.

“Hi.” You were quick to return the grin, trying to figure out if you remembered her from somewhere. She looked oddly familiar.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Shawn?”

You smiled, “I can go get him for you. Give me just a second.”

“Thank you so much!”

You found Shawn in the back, talking to someone you recognized to be very important, but his eyes lit up and he was on his feet the second he saw you.

“Hey angel, everything okay?”

“Hey,” you nodded as he wrapped a hand around your waist pulling you to the side, “There’s someone looking for you.”

You took his hand in yours, leading him through the mass of bodies in the space, over to where Lina and the stranger were waiting.

“Hey!” Your tone was light as you called out to her, “Found him!”

She turned around, an expectant look on her face before her eyes finally settled on your boyfriend.

“Kate.” Shawn’s voice was laced with shock, a smile gracing his features as he let go of your hand and shot forward to hug her.

You made eye contact with Julia from behind them, her light ones wide and looking at you with something you could only describe as sheer worry. You tilted your head, trying to understand what she was mouthing to you.

“It’s been so long.” You could hear Shawn say as they pulled apart, his tone laced with something you didn’t recognize.

“It has. You look amazing, Shawn.” Now that was something you did recognize.

You placed a hand on Shawn’s back, his eyes wide as he turned back to look at you, almost as if he’d forgotten you were even there.

“Kate,” his eyes were back on her immediately, “This is y/n, my … girlfriend.”

You hated the hesitation in his voice, but you didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, smiling gently at her, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“So, how do you two know each other?” Julia stepped forward, sipping on her drink as her narrowed eyes trained on Kate.

There was a moment of reluctance, which definitely didn’t help with your unease.

“We go way back.” Shawn finally said, Kate, giggling in response. Your smile faded. So they went way back. That was definitely code for used to date.

You hated the jealously that flooded through you. Your stomach clenching as your boyfriend continued to stare at the girl with an unrecognizable look.

Everyone was silent for a moment, Shawn’s eyes not leaving Kate, something you weren’t too happy about. You were used to being the center of his attention. And you felt selfish the second those thoughts filled your mind.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, the wide grin never leaving his face.

She smiled for a moment until her eyes traveled over to you and the expression faded, “I uh – was hoping we could talk?”

You didn’t like the look she was giving you, and you definitely didn’t like the sound of that. But Shawn was nodding and not even a second later he was turning to you, “I’ll be right back.”

You didn’t respond, he didn’t give you the chance to. He was already walking away, hot on her heels.

“What the actual fuck.”

You didn’t know how to answer. So instead you turned over the bar, immediately ordering four shots, making Lina talk them with you.

You had hoped that the alcohol would ease your nerves, but instead, you found yourself pacing in the bathroom, your head spinning as you tried to explain to Lina what was going on in your mind.

She did her best to try and calm you, easing your mind that it was nothing. Shawn loved you. It didn’t matter that he was slightly tipsy. Alone. And talking to his ex.

You trusted him with everything in you, but you didn’t trust the look in Kate’s eyes. And the look in his.

Shawn came back a half hour later, his eyes bloodshot and begging you to leave with him. You didn’t hesitate to agree, taking his outstretched hand and following him to the car.

You were both silent for a few moments but there was unspoken tension hanging in the air, your hands folded in your lap – trying to figure out how to phrase your words.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” You finally blurted, hating the way his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

Shawn was silent for a few seconds, before he cleared his voice, “Everything’s fine. Kate just wanted to catch up.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. “How long were you together for?”

You could see him tense again, his shoulders tightening, “We weren’t. Almost though.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. She wasn’t ready, I guess.” His tone was clipped; sounding like he had uttered those words millions of times before. You could feel your breath catch in your throat.

She wasn’t ready.

You replayed those words in your head a million times before you could finally utter something else. “When was the last time you saw her?”

Shawn could sense the uneasiness in your voice, the unfamiliar tremble as you tried to calm your breathing.

His hand was quick to take yours, twisting it out of the clasp in your lap and holding it in his tightly, “Baby –”

“I’m just curious – I know there’s nothing to worry about I just –” your voice was higher than normal, Shawn’s hand tightening around yours.

But he was silent. Staring straight ahead at the stoplights. The bright red glow illuminating his impassive features.

“There is nothing to worry about, right?” You found yourself saying.

“Of course not.”

Your heart was in your stomach, and you suddenly felt like there was no room in the car – no air.

“Shawn,” you whispered, “Did something happen?”

He swallowed again, “No.”

You were both silent for the rest of the ride home, Shawn’s hand holding yours – the only thing stopping you from falling apart.

The second the car parked in your driveway, you let go of him and jumped out, not waiting for him to follow – speed walking to the front door. Your hands were shaking as you tried to stick the key into the lock, your blurry eyes making it hard for you to focus.

“Y/n – ”

You could hear Shawn coming up behind you, but the door burst open just in time – saving you from having to look at him, “I – I have to go to the bathroom.”

You could hear him shout something back but you were already sprinting up the stairs and into your shared room, shutting the door behind you and bolting into the bathroom.

You were shaking, pulling your phone out and googling the one thing on your mind since the second you heard it.

The lyrics to Shawn’s When You’re Ready showed up on screen and you tried to calm your breathing, scrolling for a moment before your tears began collecting again and you were sobbing.

You gripped the sink, your breaths choked up as you tried to control your heart rate.

You could feel a tightness expanding through your chest, like a weight that was pulling you down. You were on your knees before you had a chance to blink, your hands wrapped around your dress as you tried to get a grip on yourself.

Moments passed but your breathing wasn’t picking up, you tried to blink away the tears, but they kept flowing as your shallow breaths increased.

You stood; your head spinning at the sudden movement, making you fall back and steady yourself against the sink. A jewelry box slid off at the impact, falling and smashing on the floor.

You flinched back at the noise, your ears registering a muffled yelling from behind your door, but you couldn’t make it out. You didn’t understand any of it, your chest heaved as you fell back onto your knees, sounding like you were chocking on air. Black spots began to cloud your vision, the room starting to spin.

Arms wrapped around you, pulling you back into a hand chest, but your mind was too cloudy to process any of it.

“Breathe – ” you could just make out his words, “You’re having a panic attack.”

“I can’t I –”

Shawn spun you into him, on his knees before you, his hands cupping your cheeks as he placed his forehead on yours. You tried to make out the golden color of his eyes but you couldn’t focus on anything but the tightness in your chest.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” His thumbs were lightly massaging your jaw, “You’re going to inhale for me on the count of three.”

“1.. 2.. inhale.” You obeyed, your chest filling up with air as you shook in his grasp.

“Now exhale,” he said, his voice shaky, “Now again.”

“Inhale…exhale…inhale….exhale.”

It was working, your mind slowly clearing as you focused on the sound of his voice.

You sighed easily for the first time in a while, your eyes finally opening and meeting his tear-streaked ones.

You pulled away from him immediately, falling back onto your butt as you crawled further away, the cold tile the least of your concerns.

“You – you.” You heaved, trying to catch your breath, “You wrote it about her.”

He tilted his head, looking like a devastated, confused puppy, “Angel I don’t know –”

“When you’re ready! You wrote it about her, didn’t you?”

Shawn blinked, a single tear falling from his eye as he crawled over to you. You flinched, scooting away until your back hit the wall.

“Y/n I –”

“The song was written four months into our relationship.” You sniffled, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your dress, not caring about how much money you had spent this morning. Now, that seemed like a lifetime ago.

“You had said that Teddy wrote most of it. That it was a spur of the moment thing. That none of your songs were based on anyone until you met me.”

He was silent, tears streaking down his cheeks as he tried to catch his breath, “Baby –”

“You were waiting for her. This entire time. Weren’t you?”

“No!” He tried to get closer, but stopped at the expression on your face, “No! I love you, I –”

“Cause ain't n –nobody like you. F- familiar disappointment every single time I do.” You began to recite, your hiccupping sobs making it hard to understand.

“Y/n. Baby, please let me explain – ”

“Every single night my arms are not around you. My mind's still wrapped around you.” You shut your eyes, your entire body shaking as you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to figure out how this was happening to you.

“Baby, tell me when you're ready.” You opened at the sound of a choked sob coming from the other side of the room. Shawn was on the floor, his head between his hands as he sobbed, shoulders shaking.

You were silent, trying to stop yourself from rushing over to him and holding him in your arms – something you had grown so accustomed to that now you felt like you were having an out of body experience.

“Do you still love her?”

That wasn’t what you had planned to say, but you needed to hear it. You needed to know if the last two years were a waste, if the ring on your finger had ever meant something to the boy you thought was going to be yours forever.

Shawn was silent, his shoulders slumping as he threw his head back.

“Shawn?” Your voice was sterner than it had been all day.

“I – ” Another wrecked sob flew through him.

You covered your mouth as you felt your chest close up again. Shaking your head, you took a deep breath – you were not about to have another panic attack right now.

You gripped the vanity to your left, using it to pull yourself to your feet. Your mind went hazy from how fast you rose, your head already pounding from how hard you’d been crying.

“She told you she was ready, didn’t she?”

All Shawn could do was nod, his eyes not opening as he placed his head back in his hands – his elbows on his knees as he started crying again.

You threw your head back, urging yourself not to cry – but nothing could stop the whimper from flying out of you, your eyes shutting again.

Everything was silent again. For a few moments, you hoped that he would say something. That he would get to his feet and explain that everything was a misunderstanding – that he would take you in his arms and hold you, telling you that you were the one he loved. The only one he loved.

However, things weren’t that simple. They never were with Shawn. But never before had you doubted where you stood with him.

“I – I can’t do this.” You found yourself saying, his head snapping up – bloodshot eyes meeting yours.

He was on his feet before you could blink, “No. Y/n – let’s talk about this, please.”

You hesitated, before shaking your head. It was too late for talking now. You had waited for him to act and he had left you dry.

“You need to figure yourself out before we can do that Shawn.” You spun the ring on your finger. “I can’t be with you if you’re not a hundred percent sure about me.”

“I love you.” His voice cracked, a single tear traveling down his sculpted cheek again.

“I love you too.” You sniffled, taking the ring off your finger – Shawn immediately flinching back, “Please. Please don’t leave me.”

“You lied to me. You used me as a placeholder for her. You still love –”

“I don’t. I don’t.” He was shaking, his hands coming up to fold behind his head, “It was a spur of the moment, baby – ”

“I know you, Shawn.” You were tired, and he was delirious. You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, and you were afraid that if you kept this up any longer – he could convince you to stay.

“Call me when you figure everything out. And then we can talk.”

You placed the ring on the counter, the clang of it hitting the marble making Shawn flinch again, but you didn’t let yourself get phased.

You took one long look at him, before turning around and walking out of the bathroom – and ultimately the house.

He didn’t call after you once.

__________________________________________________________________

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vanillamilkcloud · 4 years

Text

UNDER THE TREE || RM

pairing: Single Dad! RM x Baker! Reader

word count: 2,497

tags: fluff, some cookies were burnt, flour got in some spots, theres hot cocoa, domestic as hell, christmas obviously.

summary: after a visit to their favorite baker, Namjoon cant wrap presents for his boys. so with snagging your number some previous hours ago he decides to call for some help.

Kids were always hard, no matter what anyone did to try and help. Especially having two and also being a single dad. Though Namjoon had a way with the two that almost everyone wished they had with their kids. He had coaxed the boys into waking up this morning only to have them instantly asking about going to the bakery. It had become a sort of routine, once a week he’d show up at the door and instantly Hoseok would babble about everything he wanted while Yoongi pointed to things while hiding behind Namjoon’s leg.

And that was exactly your situation right now. Covered in flour, and some frosting on your cheek, standing behind the counter of the store.

“I want this and this and a cake pop and cake!” Hoseok giggled happily, his gloved hands pressed against the glass happily. Namjoon looked at you apologetically before glancing at what his son wanted.

“Cookie, you know you cant have all of that-” The blonde male had only started to speak before he saw you walking around the counter, handing the 4 year old a cake pop. At 8am, might you add. His baby voice was too hard to resist giving the sweets to him.

“Says who?” You gave an equal smile to the toddler’s as he squealed.

“Thank you noona!” He had already devoured the sweet in a happy fit of giggles. You couldn’t help but giggle at the bits of chocolate around his mouth. For a moment you had thought you heard Yoongi speak, only to be correct as he held his arms up. Namjoon chuckled softly.

“Sugar, what are you doing?”

“I want up.” He murmured, taking his chance to hide behind you now. You shrugged then picked up the small boy. Yoongi had instantly nuzzled into your chest, his little cheeks red from the cold. It made you frown though you knew you couldn’t help it.

“Can I give them mini mugs of hot cocoa Joonie?” You asked, fluttering your eyes in that way you knew would make Namjoon give into you. He let out a small groan as you looked absolutely perfect to him right now, and like the kids were actually both of yours. But Namjoon hadn’t had the courage to ask you yet to see if this relationship could actually.. be something. He had to think about plenty of other things right now besides having his bed warm again, and the boys having a mom finally.

“Do you even have mini mugs?”

You grinned happily before nodding, walking behind the counter with Yoongi in your arms and Hoseok trailing behind you. It was a bit hard to lean downward before pulling out two baby mugs and some straws. You put them on the counter carefully. “I got them just for these two little dudes. Just make sure to bring them when you guys come.”

Yoongi made grabby hands at one of them, so you let him take the cup. His eyes held a type of curiousity you hadn’t ever actually seen in him. The boy was generally shy and quiet but you seemed to understand now how Namjoon managed to know what he wanted constantly. It was rather cute in your eyes as you could catch Hoseok almost drooling over all the pastries behind the glass, and then whining as he wanted up too. You couldnt carry the both of them though.

Namjoon on the other hand, was more than happy with his open fawning over you. You were such an angel with the boys and it made him more than happy with his trips. Hoseok was more than ready to expose his dad though.

“Daddy staring!” He giggled brightly, looking up to his dad through the glass. It caused a chain reaction as Yoongi was more than happy to join in. “Does dada like noona?”

A bright blush covered the male’s cheek in an instant. He was quick to recover though as you couldnt help but to laugh while filling up the two mugs, hanging mini candy canes off the edge. “No, I dont like _____ Sugar.” Namjoon replied.

“Not what Uncle Jinnie said!”

Namjoon facepalmed, shaking his head with a groan. He’d need to have a serious talk with that man later. “Uncle Jinnie tricked you okay? What do you want for breakfast?”

That seemed to change the topics easily, you placing the hot chocolates in Namjoon’s hands to cool off before letting the boys point while behind the glass. Both of them seemed rather happy to have your candy cane donuts, the one treat youd serve only on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Namjoon had asked for his usual strawberry bagel with cream cheese, so then you were free to go back to the kitchen once more.

“Byebye noona!!” The boys called out, making you grin.

“Youll see me next week, this isnt bye babies!” You replied. Namjoon couldnt help but laugh as the two were instantly excited all over again. Except, he came here to do something too, so he came up to the window to your kitchen quickly.

“Wait, ___,” The blonde seemed shy, but you couldn’t help but to smile at him.

“Did you forget something?”

He gave you a nod, and you looked at him curiously. “I forgot your number, can you give it to me again?”

The words that fell out of his mouth made you laugh, as you had essentially walked into him saying that yet you still felt dumbfounded. How was he that smooth? "Mm, give me your phone then, I'll put it in."

Namjoon complied with the words as he was smiling happily; a few of the customers in the store seemed to only cheer for him. You wanted to run away from the situation but you couldn't deny him like that! On Christmas Eve either, you had no hope. Within a few moments you handed the phone back with a bit of flour over the case.

"Oh lord, I'm sorry. I didnt mean to get flour on it."

"Don't be," Namjoon grinned. "Im used to you leaving flour prints on what you touch by now."

He gave you a wave, and went back to his kids. You hummed softly as you went into the back of the store before finding yourself trying to quietly squeal. Namjoon had actually asked you for your number! What you didn't know was that everyone had actually heard your little squeal, and it couldnt help but make everyone laugh as you fawned over your crush. Everyone knew for ages that you both had a thing for each other and now it seemed to get somewhere.

After a long day at work, and perhaps burning a few things in your distraction, you’ve finally made it home. The call of your bed seems almost instantly heeded. But there’s other things you need to do.

Namjoon, on the other hand, is struggling to wrap presents. He had taken quite some time just to wrap simple box shapes and now this gift wrapping thing seemed impossible to him. There was blankets and stuffed animals to be wrapped still, along with pillows and bed sheets that Hoseok had wanted because of them being PJ Mask themed. It was also an issue of he didn’t happen to have enough paper to finish wrapping anything. The blonde combed a hand through his hair with a soft groan; He couldn’t leave the house to get any extra paper because then nobody was home with the boys. The male also didn’t want to leave them with anyone, so he scrolled through his phone contacts, clicking your name with a soft hum.

“Hello?” You asked, clearly a bit tired so Namjoon was almost tempted to hang up then and there.

“Hey _____.” He chuckled softly as he once again couldnt figure out how to wrap the damned elephant plushie.

“Oh, hi Joonie! What’s up?”

“I, um, well. I can’t wrap the kids presents so I thought you might be able to help. I don’t happen to have any paper or that left either, and I cant leave to get any.” Namjoon sighed softly as he tossed the paper in the trash once again, leaning against the sofa as he sat on the floor. “I swear I’ll pay you back for it, I just didn’t know who else to call.”

You giggled through the line, pretending to think in silence. It was almost audible how nervous he was. “I can come help. Can you text me your address then?”

“Yeah I can, thank you so much.”

The line went dead after that, as Namjoon sent you their address. He took the opportunity to go check on the boys. It had to be quick because Yoongi was a light sleeper unless Hoseok happened to move into his bed. Namjoon was certain those two would be inseperable later on, so he never bothered to seperate them. He opened the door quietly after making sure the hall light was off, only to chuckle as the boys were indeed under one blanket. With similar quietness he shut the door once again before walking to the kitchen and starting to brew a pot of coffee. The father didn’t happen to have any more hot chocolate either right now, as much as he knew you had a preference for the drink.

Namjoon let his thoughts wonder about you as he drew two mugs out of the cabinet, and not mini ones this time. The house was quiet besides the gentle christmas songs playing on the radio. Gingerbread had filled the air as hours ago the boys insisted to make gingerbread men for Santa, even left out with the milk on a plate with their notes. They were such precious things to him, the father felt a bit sad to realize that this is what their mother had decide to miss out on. But he also was happy because she wasn’t the type of woman to enjoy this type of stuff. She’d simply go about her business as she please. It was like a household housing two seperate families.

The knock on the door pulled Namjoon out of his mind, and he quickly answered it before you could knock again. Snow had covered your hat, the bits of your hair that decided to peek out under it, and on your shoulders. He was quick to let you in, even taking the bags of gift wrap and tape and perhaps a gift for each of the boys.

“Thank you so much-” He smiled warmly, rubbing his temples as he sat the bags on the sofa. You shook your head at him.

“Don’t thank me you dork. I’m more than happy to help you with anything.” The words were perhaps a bit more implying than what either of you cared to admit, but Namjoon was still happy none the less. Once you were free of your extra layers you took out the rolls of gift wrap and tape. You also made sure to put your gifts under the tree too.

Namjoon watched as you didnt bother to speak in your focus now. He couldn’t help but to admire your small form in his living room, almost expertly wrapping each thing he had struggled with. You simply didn’t want him to notice the bright blush on your cheeks. It made you excited to actually be here as much as it didn’t feel the same without the boys. You had spent so much time around them as a group that you felt shy when you both were alone.

“Here’s some coffee, since the boys drank all the hot chocolate.” Namjoon’s voice made you squeak, and he couldnt help but laugh brightly. His grin made his dimples show; you wanted to kiss him right there but you knew better.

“Thank you.” You whispered. The girly girl in you was practically squealing with how close he was. A yawn passed Namjoon’s lips as your hands held the elephant plushie that he didn’t have patience for only about an hour ago. He looked tired, but he didn’t want to have you leave. Your fingers worked in a quick motion to wrap it like a giant candy. WIth the use of scissors you even made the ends all pointy.

“Ill put them under, you can stay the night if you want.” Namjoon hummed, watching you look up at him curiously. The face you held seemed to depict that you were nervous to him. “I won’t do anything, at least right now.”

“What do you mean right now?” You looked more puzzled now. Namjoon facepalmed as he realized the words slipped before he had stopped it.

“Um, well, you see.” He started off, once again making you chuckle. You couldn’t read him often but this seemed to be one of the rare moments you could. Kim Namjoon was embarrassed and he couldnt change the topic. Hoseok and Yoongi were often his way of avoiding conversations like these with you. But they were fast asleep. “Consider it your Christmas present, but I’ve liked you for quite some time now. The boys even like you too. It means the damn world to me because I love those two to death and they almost always get excited as soon as I mention you.”

You couldn’t help but to blush with his confession, but it made you grin none the less. “Are we sure that isn’t because I give them sugar every time they come?”

Both of you exchanged a bright laugh at the words. The boys were only 4 and 5, of course sugar could buy their hearts in an instant. Namjoon couldn't help but to smile at you in such a pure adoration.

“No, because they dont touch much of the pastries we have unless we make them ourselves, or we got them from you.” The father replied. “And also, I’ve known you’ve liked me for awhile.”

This was your turn to groan. “Since when!” You whined, rubbing your temple with your fingers.

“The squeal when you gave me your number. I had just gotten up to leave with the boys when I heard it.”

You pouted softly, knowing that was probably the most obvious of times that you definetely had something for him. This you couldn’t try to deny either. “Okay fine, perhaps I’ve liked you for awhile now too.”

Namjoon smiled brightly, pulling you into a hug. There was something different about this though. It felt much more warm and loving than when he would be forced to hug you because of his kids. Only when you yawned did he realize you really needed to go to sleep, so he picked you up without a warning. The simple action made your heart swell as you realized this was probably one of the best things to happen just in time for the holidays.

#try 2 to post this #namjoon #namjoon imagine #bts x reader #bts #bts fanfic #bts rm #we love domestic relationships #whole shit load of fluff

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mintseesaw · 5 years

Text

Written in the Stars | one

Pairing: taehyung x reader

Genre: fluff, angst, dad!au

Word count: 6k

Warning: none

Description: read here (link in bio)

“I know, Mom. I’m about to leave.” You're on the phone with your mom, she’s reminding you about your trip to your hometown, your eyes skimming through the things you’re going to bring, making sure that nothing is forgotten.

You zipped the travel bag open, checking specifically the treats you bought yesterday in the nearby convenience store for your nephews. Joo Woon and Seo Joon are in a sugar diet but it doesn’t hurt if you spoil them once in a while.

“Okay, dear. Give us a call once you arrived at the station, I’ll ask your brother to pick you up.”

Your movements halted for a second at the mention of your brother.

“He’s home?” Since he got into uni, you rarely get the chance to see your little brother. You couldn't even admit that you miss that little punk who used to call you every time he asks you for a favor--more like when he needs money for his luxuries.

“Oh, he is. I threaten to cut his allowance off if he does not go home this weekend.”

Your eyes rolled at your mother’s remark. Indeed, she always has her ways in everything, including your trip to Daegu today.

“Mom, let him be. At least, he’s studying well. Anyways, don’t worry about me, I’ll just ride a bus or something.” You zipped it shut then hooked it on your shoulder as you sauntered your way out of the bedroom towards the sofa in the living room.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You know my brother, mom. Yeonjun will only ask me a favor in exchange of driving me home.”

She chuckled and you can just picture her shaking her head. “Alright. Take care, dear.” Your thumb pressed the end call button then slipped the device inside your pocket.

You didnt fill your hand carry full as you don’t need a lot of clothes to change into. Also, you have remaining clothes kept somewhere in your drawers back at your parents’ house so you don’t necessarily need much.

Today’s your first Saturday to spend it back at home, first of the many coming weekends. You’re not a morning person, and if it werent for your agreement with your mom, you would have still been sleeping at this point.

The car ride to the train station was short giving you an ample of time left for you to catch the closest trip to your hometown. And as you saunter your way inside, you’re not expecting anything less than a crowd swarming within the pavement.

In no time, you have made your way to a ticket booth, purchased a ticket and settled in your seat indicated in the ticket receipt. Among the two pairs of seat facing each other, the one to your right and the pair across yours have yet to be occupied. And as you wait for the clock to strike at the time the train will leave, your eyes scan the confined space, eyeing the passengers who have also settled in like yourself before they unexpectedly land on a pair of a tall, young man and a little girl whom you assumed his daughter.

Although they have yet to reach near where you are, you could still make out the displeased expression of the man. The little girl, on the other hand, is half-sprinting ahead of him and you concluded that the action stirred the reaction present on the young man’s face. He tried to garner her attention by calling her name which you had failed to hear through the collective sound of chattering passengers. Instead of making her turn around to face him, he gains some of the passengers’ attention, heads glancing in their direction to which he bowed his head apologetically for creating an unnecessary noise. For you, it wasn’t the noise that made them turn their heads at him, it was probably his voice.

Wasting no time, in three long strides, he was able to reach for her tiny hand, taking it securely in his large one, making sure the little girl will no longer run naughtily. Once she snapped her head up and had a glimpse of his face, it’s as if she already knew she did something unpleasant. Her face fell, letting her father take her wherever their seats are without a protest. You were half-expecting for them to pass by your seat so when the same man halted his steps next to the seats across from yours, you slightly straightened your back, gathering they must be occupying of the seats across yours.

His nearness allowed you to examine him clearly and the first thing your scrutinizing eyes have landed on is his hair. It was not short, but not too long to be able to tie it up in a bun. Your eyes then traveled down his deep set of brown eyes to his pointed nose, to his pink, supple lips— you abruptly jerk your head away when you realize you’ve been staring far too long to be considered rude. You silently hoped he didnt notice that, lowering your head in utter embarassment. That‘s how you noticed your phone clutched securely in your palm.

You opened it and directed your gaze at the device, mindlessly scrolling through a social media app you just tapped, shaking away the urge to peer at the two figures in front of you.

After they had settled down, and made sure his daughter is comfortable enough, the handsome man crouched down to his daughter's eye level. Talking to her in a low voice so no one could hear it. The proximity between your seats and the wavering commotion allowed you to hear it, whether you want to or not.

"Do you promise not to do it again?" Asked in a low but deep whisper.

You heard his voice earlier, but now that you can hear it clearly and this close, it surprised you how his voice seemed deeper than you expect it to be. Not only his physical features made him a head turner, but his voice could as well. You know for sure.

The kid avoided his gaze then said, "Daddy, I want to eat." She was completely ignoring his father’s warning. And she was trying to get away with it.

"We just ate before we got here, didn’t we angel?" His forehead creased in doubt of his daughter’s claim. She was silent, blinking innocently.

"We didnt bring food though. Can my baby wait until we reach granny's house?" He softly coaxed, praying she would understand that there’s no way they would get anything to eat inside the train. He then clips some of her hair behind the shell of her ear, consoling her to her little dilemma.

"But Daddy, I'm hungry." Whines the little girl, although her pronounciation is clear and her verb communication skills are noticeably developed enough to voice out her thoughts straight into a clear message rather than saying it in chunks of phrases. Maybe she’s above the age of three.

"Didn't we just eat, angel? You're hungry again?"

She nodded vigorously, as if to prove a point. He looked helpless for a second.

It was during that moment when the train moved.

His features fell into a worry one. His goal to scold his daughter, long forgotten and washed away with concern. "Are you sure?" You heard his daughter whines again. You couldnt watch the scene continue to unfold anymore. And before you even register what you’re doing, you’re already interrupting their conversation.

"Uh— excuse me," the moment you spoke, it was an instant reaction of him to snap his head towards you. His daughter quietly peered at you. He straightened his back as he waits for you to continue talking, “Im sorry, I didn't mean to listen to your conversation. I heard... uhm your daughter... I have treats here, I'm not sure if you allow her to eat sweets—" he cuts you off politely. Your cheeks heating up when he didn't let you finish.

"No, it's fine Miss..." he trailed and look at you expectantly, waiting for you to tell your name.

"YN,"

You’re embarrassed for what you did that your mind is tricking you when you saw his eyes glinted by the mention of your name.

"... Miss YN, I mean, you didn't have to." He offered a smile and you’re not sure if it’s in response to your offer or a consolation to your flushed face.

"I was just considering that the journey will take more than 2 hours. And we just left Seoul..."

You waited as his eyebrows meet, pondering over the situation. It wouldnt upset you if he wouldnt accept it, since you’re a stranger and if youre in his shoes, it would be reasonable enough to second doubt a stranger’s intention.

He heaves a long sigh, raking his eyes to his daughter’s figure. If it weren’t for his daughter, he’d be too shy to accept anything from anyone.

"Okay, but please let me replace it once we get there."

You shook your head, “It's alright. I can just buy another."

"For your kids?"

Your mind momentarily went blank, suddenly losing the ability to process and comprehend a question.

"What?"

"The sweets."

Then it clicks in your mind. “Oh!" You chuckled, then briefly corrected his query, "...nephews."

This time around, it is his turn to blush. The faint crimson tinting his cheeks made him no less than the attractive man that he is. He looks dashing, regardless.

"Right, I'm sorry for assuming. I shouldn't have asked in the first place."

You didnt speak, but offered him a polite smile in reply. Your hand went to the small travel bag which you placed to the empty seat beside yours, lightly rummaging through the contents inside well aware that you’re under the scrutiny of two sets of eyes, watching your every movement in pure curiosity.. It shouldnt take you long to find it since you put them on top of the clothes. The familiar touch of the plastic wrapper made its way to your palm and you pull one out, and hand it over to the little girl.

His daughter, whom you heard her father called her Jae hya, looked at him as if to get a consent before accepting the treat from your hand.

He nodded and mouthed a ‘Thank you’ towards your direction before glancing back at her daughter, ‘What will you say to Miss YN, angel?”

Blinking a few times, she answered shyly in her cute adorable voice, “Thank you, Miss YN.”

“Just YN please,” you softly said then laughed a little before continuing, “and you’re welcome.”

Silence filled the air after the small interaction, to which you used the opportunity to divert your attention back to your phone.

The only time you dared to look up at him again is when he introduced himself out of nowhere.

"Taehyung,"

Your eyes instinctively flicked up at the sound of his deep and thick voice and met his intense gaze. His hand held out across the rectangular platform which created a little distance between your seats. Your eyes travelled from his eyes to his palm pushed forward in front of you, you stared at it for a second admiring how impressively large it is compared to yours before accepting the handshake. The warmth of his hand felt contrastingly good to the cold temperature inside the train. But then the moment ended shortly as you took your hand back quickly, startled by the sudden faint cold enveloping in your spine as his long and slender fingers made contact to your slim ones.

Sensing your awkwardness in the situation he cleared his throat as if to ease the strange tension between you, pulling himself back to his seat. Your head tilted on your left where the clear window allowed you to watch the blurry view outside. There’s nothing entertaining or astonishing in the view that can prolong your attention there, but you could just pretend to be immersed with it if it’s the only way to escape the chance of getting an an eye contact with him.

He was not intimidating at all. In fact, he’s polite and seems like a good father. The smile on his face while you were conversing with him is surprisingly sincere. But the rational in you tries to disregard the certain pull that’s accentuating in him.

Why would he waste his time to you? You’re someone he personally does not know of as well as he is for you.

But...is it wrong to appreciate his perfect exterior features? After all, he’s just not simply beautiful. The word alone would not give justice to describe him. He can be likened to an ethereal creature whom god generously gifted too much of all the good physical attributes that one human can have.

And when he stared at you—the intensity that his eyes hold when he sets them on you, it was too much to just let him rest them on you while your insides are melting. You try to shake away the emerging attraction.

Isnt it too soon for that?

He’s just a stranger— a passenger travelling from Seoul to Dongdaegu station which also happens to be where you’re boarded into, and whom his seat is across yours. That’s just it. You’ll never see him again. The thought becomes your internal mantra the whole journey in order to dissipate the agitated feeling inside you that one could mistakenly concluded as a look of indifference while you motionlessly peer at the window.

Two hours and more had passed and the train stopped to your destination. During the whole ride, you were not even spared a single wink of sleep from the mere presence in front of you. His eyes are shut when you stood up and walk towards one of the exit doors, unsure if he spared you a glance during the rest of the journey. It shouldn’t matter anymore because you wouldn't see him again. And the embarrassing act which hinted your little act of eavesdropping to their personal conversation should be buried deep in your memory lane where you can’t remember it forever.

“YN!” Your mom exclaimed happily when she opens the front door, greeting you with a warm hug.

It was more than four weeks ago when she paid you a visit in your place in Seoul and it was the last you’ve seen of her until today. You hugged her back.

“Come, let’s eat. Table’s ready for breakfast...”

Your eyes skimmed the vicinity of the before asking, “Where’s Yeonjun?”

Just as your mother heard you and is about to speak to reveal where your brother is, Yeonjun timingly appeared from the doorway of the kitchen. He was munching something you’re not sure what of. Not to mention, his mouth is full. When you say full, his cheeks are swelling and his lips are barely closing from the contents filling exaggeratingly inside his mouth. When your mother’s eyes landed on his form, he flinches. The mere sight of her giving you and him an indication of what is to come.

“Yeonjun!” He earns a smack in his arm from your mother, “I told you to wait up!” She gritted.

Yeonjun immediately went behind your back, knowing he’ll be spared the scolding if he has someone protecting him from your mother’s wrath and someone as a human shield from another impending spank.

He complains, “I’m starving, Mom. I didnt have dinner last night.” You chuckled, not at his reason but from the manner he delivered it, they way a three year-old kid would reason out if they get caught red handed eating sweets when they’re not allowed to. Going to college didn't change him one bit. He’s still the immature younger brother that you know.

Such a baby.

“Who isnt? Your father is as hungry as you are!”

He didnt reply but you could hear him mockingly imitate her in a low voice so she couldn’t hear. It made you snorted further. Your mother eyed you briefly, her eyebrow shot up in question. She threw a harmless warning at him before proceeding back to the kitchen.

“You rascal,” you poked, ruffling his hair at the same.

“Stop that, Noona, I just fixed my hair.” He whines, swatting your hand away from his hair.

“Oooh, my baby brother’s growing up. When did you learn to clean up?” You teased further. He rolled his eyes in response.

“Stop calling me that. I’m not a baby...look I’m even taller than you.” he retorted back, a side smirk appearing on his face, mocking your obvious insufficiency in the height department.

You playfully rub his cheek as if to literally wipe off the smirk on his face. He reacted impulsively, grabbing your hand away from his face.

“Noona… stop!” he grumbled. His efforts seemed to be wasted as he firmly locked both of your hands in his fist but he was kept pestered on as you kicked his thighs in return, trying to get away from his hold.

You were enjoying the look of complete irritation in his face like he’s ready to throw you off the window at any second in any chance that he gets.

“YN noona!” he frustratingly exclaimed while struggling to keep hold of you. “Why are you being annoying? You literally just got here.”

“Carry me to the dining table.” You softly demanded, as if you’re not locked up from his hands. Despite his strength and towering height, he’s scared enough to use it to his advantage against you and a sly grin making its way on your face knowing that he’ll eventually obey you.

His face scrunched up, trying to mock your command. “What are you, 5?”

“Piggy back ride, then I’ll leave you be.”

He dramatically lets out a sigh before he follows to your bidding, “Fine.”

Your parents both send you a weird look when Yeonjun entered in the dining room with you on his back. After he puts you down, and after you briefly greet your dad and flop down on an empty chair beside your brother’s, the four of you finally started eating, anything but a silent breakfast. It’s always like that, especially when your brother is present. He also has his way of annoying you as much as you have to him and if not for your mother chiding in between your bickering, you wouldn’t try to shut up as well as your brother.

As the short duration of the meal ends, your father ordered your brother to do the chore of washing the dishes. Being a baby that he is, he whined helplessly as if it can change your father’s order.

Your sister and the twins arrived shortly after breakfast. Your temporary job or as your sister calls it your duty as an aunt starts right away, babysitting them as they play in the confines of the living room. Toy cars, animal figurines and pieces of legos were left scattered all over the floor and you helplessly sat on the floor while looking out for your nephews to make sure they won’t hurt themselves. At this point, you find the chance to talk to Chae through the phone, while your eyes never leaving the two handful human beings wherever they waddled to. When she came to know you’re currently at your parents’ house, she immediately gossiped the information in the groupchat you share with your old friends whom you met in high school.

“How’s the city girl doing?” It was Chae right when you reached the table where you found her sitting in inside the famous Samgyeopsal place in the town. It was about twenty minute drive from your parents’ house. She arrived to the diner before you and Hoseok did and obviously selected a table while waiting for everyone to show up.

You were greeted with smoke and pleasantly tolerable chattering coming from the customers as you and Hoseok went inside. Hoseok took the chair which is literally across the grilling area of the table.

“Just fine.” You casually shrug your shoulders, asking you as if you two haven’t been talking on the phone for at least half an hour.

Chae craned her neck trying to peer behind your back, probably looking for the others. Hoseok gave you a ride so you only came with him.

“Where’s Yoongi and Irene? I swear to God those two are always competing for the last one to show up.”

“I called Irene to say I’m gonna pick her up along with YN, but she mentioned baby Leo is sick so she couldn’t make it.” He told you that earlier in the car on the way here. He continued talking when no one else has yet to throw a remark, “Yoongi-hyung… well you know him, he’s probably just late.” Chae curtly nodded in acknowledgement.

“Chae told me your auto repair business is expanding, Hobi.” You began, and in a way, to talk about something far more important. If Chae didn’t share the information, you probably wouldn’t have known. Among the group, you’re always the last one to know what’s going on with your friends’ lives, not only that you’re the only one who left the town to work, you also rarely get the time to communicate with them.

“Oh, yeah. It’s going great, the number of customers is growing so there’s also a demand to expand the area. But you guys know it’s not solely mine. I have a business partner.”

“Are you talking about that beautiful, young man in your office when I came to your shop? You didnt even introduce us!” Chae accusingly asserted.

A familiar lady, who you recognized as the owner of the diner, appeared on your table. Fresh slices of pork belly in a plate and side dishes in the tray being balanced in a single hand as she placed them one by one on the table. Another helper came, serving the rest of the dishes Chae first handedly ordered. Hoseok attentively took the plate filled with meat and started grilling them.

His eyes narrowing at her remark. “Shut up, Chae. He just recently got divorced.”

“The more reason you need to introduce me to him. You know, he might be looking for someone to forget his wife.”

You throw a potato marble in her direction using your chopsticks. It was too late when she tried to cover her face with her hands as it landed on her shoulder. You heard Hoseok roared into fits of laughter. She winces even though it was faintly thrown, thus, she’s only being dramatic. “What? I’m desperate. Perhaps, your brother—” she ducked and screeched when she saw you raised your chopsticks, anticipating the impact of another potato marble.

“He’s 19.” You grated casually knowing that she’s being in her satirical self.

“So? He’s attractive.”

“So is Ji Soo. Better option since he’s around our age.” You teased, your smirk growing as a distaste look replaces her bright and playful aura. Hoseok yet again fell into a series of laughter in pure amusement which made you laugh in return. He’s the only person who can make you laugh through the sound of his laughter alone.

“Why don’t you give the poor guy a chance? He’s been pursuing since forever.”

“No, thanks. I’d rather be single.” She scornfully expressed while spontaneously filling her mouth anything that her chopsticks can reach to divert her attention, mostly kimchi and anchovies.

“He’s not that bad, seems like a nice guy to me and probably better than your ex-fling.”

“Yeah, he once stopped by the shop. He’s nice.” Hoseok seconded your comment to her dismay. Her face scrunched up in disgust.

“Why is the topic suddenly shifted to that guy? I can’t stand him, okay?”

Before you can bite back a reply, Yoongi suddenly appeared, coolly sitting up beside Hoseok.

With a simper, Chae retorted at the swift appearance of the honey-haired man, “Look who decided to finally show up.”

As usual, he doesn’t seem one bit embarrassed from being almost half an hour late. He gave a brief nod in your direction, acknowledging your presence before taking a pair of chopsticks and took a bite from Hoseok’s ramen.

“I couldn’t leave until Yoo-Ri sleeps.” He states in an indifferent manner, even though no one was questioning his late arrival. Maybe you all just got used to it.

“Aww,” Chae’s hand flew on her chest, clutching it, a gesture of mock admiration to which Yoongi responded by rolling his eyes. “Such a sweet father.”

He ignored her jest, then spoke in between chews of food in his mouth, “So, what’s up?”

“YN, wants to treat us. That’s what.” Chae proudly announces which you send her a dumbfounded look, not expecting her comment.

“I didn’t say that.”

“She’ll pay the bill anyway,”

“I’m sure city girl will,” Yoongi snickered. The pet name came from him. As you’re the only one who went away from the town for better opportunities of your career. All of you separately went to uni outside Daegu. But the rest of them, unlike you, came back here. Yoongi married a year ago and chose to settle down here, as well as Irene who got married right after college. Hoseok started a business related to his degree and Chae works in one of the district hospitals here as a nurse.

In between chitchats of you and Chae, and Yoongi and Hoseok, your sudden visit in Daegu became the main topic of conversation when Yoongi asked out of nowhere, “Are you planning to stay here for good?”

You shook your head, “Plain visit. My mom wants me babysit the kids every weekends.”

“You’re going back to Seoul?” Yoongi interrogated further.

Uncertain of where the conversation is going, you tell him, “My work is in Seoul...”

“But where do you wanna live permanently?” It was Hoseok, this time. Now their attention is solely aimed at you, peering as they curiously wait for you to answer.

“I don’t know…”

“Life is much better here.” Yoongi acknowledges. Of course, he’ll say that. For one, he wouldn’t decide to live here if he thinks otherwise.

“Are you guys convincing me to live back here?”

She shrugged of her shoulders. “Maybe?” You didn’t respond to that, mostly because you’re confused why the casual conversation turned serious and seemingly fishy in your perspective. Are they teaming up now? For what?

“I mean, there’s like a tiny chance of running into...him if you’re here.” She further supplied.

Your eyes remained at Chae processing her words, although you’re certain the two guys are observing your reaction by the mention of your ex, an indicator rather. They must have thought you’re still not okay. You admit you’re not entirely healed up. But it doesn’t mean you’re hopelessly waiting for him to come back. You’re done with him. Nothing will ever make you change your mind, even so much as him literally begging the place he once have in your life, though you’re certain he wouldn’t.

The pain caused by the remnants of your wounds is what’s making you emotionally reserved these past few weeks. You’re broken and you’ve learned to cope up with it. You’re still broken because the past keeps haunting you for it was hard to erase years of your life that you had spent with him. 8 years to be exact. But it was just that. It’s not because you haven’t moved on. In fact, you don’t love him anymore. The pain that he caused is the only thing that reminds you of him now.

“Even if I do, I can manage. It’s not like I’m avoiding him, anyway.”

Yoongi decided to interfere as the atmosphere abruptly changes, “Let’s just drink.” He then called the attention of the lady owner, ordering bottles of soju.

The night ended pretty much later than you have expected. Hoseok’s low alcohol tolerance already made him wasted after half of the shots Yoongi have had, as well as Chae. Unlike him, Yoongi looks fine except for his flushed cheeks and neck. Not even a flicker of drunkenness can be identified in him. The current situation led him to volunteer himself to drive Hoseok’s car since all of you didn’t bring any car except for the owner himself who’s barely holding up and almosr crawling his way back to where his car is parked.

Both Hoseok and Chae have literally passed out right after you and Yoongi brought them to the backseat. It was quiet on the ride home. And you’re not complaining about it.

This day went a little productive than you anticipated it to be. The hangout was unplanned and a spur of the moment decision while you were talking to Chae through the phone. You mindlessly brought up the desire to go out to Chae, not really thinking the others would take it seriously if you ever ask them through the groupchat. The next thing you know, Chae have set up the the time and place where everyone will meet up to have a little drink and Hoseok calling you up to tell you he’d pick you up on the way.

In the midst of the silence inside the car, an image of the man earlier in the train flashed into your mind, to your dismay.

He’s just no one.

Yoongi decided to break the comforting silence. “You’ll be back next Saturday?” He rolled down the window and lit up a cigarette which you’re not aware where he got it from. Inside his pocket? You guessed.

“Yeah.”

“To babysit?” He chuckled, resting his elbow against the driver’s side’s door, the stick in between his forefinger and middle finger poking outside the window as he puffs out a smoke through his mouth. His other hand permanently glued on the steering wheel.

“Something like that…”

His efforts to casually converse with you was short lived as he noticed through his peripheral vision how all the events that occured today are gradually taking its toll on you. So he just continued to drive without opening up another conversation.

He only spoke later on when he stopped in front of your parents’ house, right after you slid off the car, and is about to close the passenger’s door.

“Give me a call if you wanna set up a little playdate with the kids and Yoo-Ri. I’m sure my wife wouldn’t mind it.” A smile made its way on your face, nodding at his offer. The twins will be ecstatic to meet another playmate.

“Sure. Drive safely, yeah?”

He gave you a curt nod then rolled the window up in the passenger’s side and drove away.

That night was the last you saw them yet. Days flew by in a blur unlike the past weeks and months which felt longer than this week that had quickly passed. You hate to admit that the weekend you spent with your family and with your old friends did a wonderful refreshment to you. You’d rather not tell your mom that she’s right, yet again. That her idea made a great effect on you.

When Monday came, you’re already anticipating another weekend to spend to in Daegu. And now that it’s already Saturday, you couldn’t wait to see them again today. You’re not sure who exactly you're excited to see of. Perhaps, being around the presence of people you trust without reservation puts you in peace. Being away with your loved ones and faced with strangers, colleagues, gravely contributes to your pent up frustration of doubting everyone’s sincerity towards you. After what happened.

All you’ve been chasing throughout these years is a decent life somewhere with someone you love thinking it’s the simplest form of happiness. After he broke off the engagement, the man whom you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with and the future you created with him all vanished into the thin air. When he officially left your shared apartment, you thought it was also the end for you. Not knowing how you’d recover from the severe damage he inflicted. That the rest of your life will be spent full of pretense happiness, with pure indifference and hatred to the world.

Now that you’ve realized what you’ve become after he left, it’s a good thing for you that he’s already out of your life. Because loathing the world instead of directing it towards him says how badly infatuated you are to him. To the point of blaming everyone for your heartbreak instead of aiming your fury to the person who have caused it. This would be the last time you’ll think of him. Even a flicker of his name, or a tinge of his image in your mind. You wont think of him, unless an external force coerces you to.

It was the last thing you remembered before falling asleep in the comforts of your seat.

He couldn’t help but stare mesmerizingly and in full awe. His lips parted, eyes twinkling from admiration, barely blinking, as if afraid to let his sight falter to such view in front of him. An angel. It was as if luck is on his side. She was already asleep when he arrived at his seat not too far away from her. But taken aback when he saw her, sleeping. Noticing the vacancy of the seats across her, he risked occupying them with his daughter sleeping on his arms as he settled in front of the woman who has filled his thoughts since that day. Indeed, luck is in his favor because nobody has claimed the seats.

Now, he’s not only sitting across her, the closest he could get, he can also stare at her sleeping form and could do it longer without making her uncomfortable like the last time. Hair getting in the way of her face as her head swayed to the said and he wants so much as push it aside to see her face more clearly. She looks like a beautiful angel, one that was sent to rescue them last Saturday and one who is responsible for making his heart flutter involuntarily.

When she offered the sweets for his daughter, it was an instant thought that she may have kids on her own although he shouldnt have voiced it out. Because she looks mature enough to be one, in a good way. Taehyung witnessed his friends bloom in their motherhood stage. It was that kind of maturity that he sees in her.

His eyes instinctively searched for her hand, for her ring finger that may hold him back. His heart does an overwhelming tug when he saw your finger unoccupied by a wedding band. Perhaps, a boyfriend? The same thought trailed in his mind as he noticed her stirring from her slumber. He moves his eyes towards his little princess, sleeping soundly beside him. And when he moves it back in front where the beautiful angel is sitting, his eyes widens.

She’s awake. And her reaction completely mimics his. Surprise evidently written on her face. For what reason?

You’re dreaming, aren’t you? Your mind must be creating an illusion at the place where you first laid eyes on him. You were thinking of him too much than you care to admit for letting him wander in your mind alone is unnecessary. You literally just broke up with you fiancée some months ago. You’re not supposed to relevantly consider the idea of him, someone you’re probably attracted with like a teenager that you’re not.

Your eyes fluttered, expecting to see nothing but the cushioned chair in front of you as you open them again.

Your breath hitched when your eyes landed on him yet again. He was looking at you with the same intensity like the last time. The same one which made you strangely uncomfortable.

He’s really here?

Your eyes traveled beside his seat. It is taken as well. By the sleeping figure of Jae hya. Have your mind gone wild making an image not only him in it but including his daughter...which likened the scene last Saturday? This time though, he is wearing a different button up shirt, larger than his body size but strangely suits him well. If this image in front of you is real, isn’t it weird to be seated across with a man and his daughter twice in a row?

Your heart achingly tugs against your chest when a smile slowly surfaces on his face while he locks his eyes on you.

The longer you stare back at him, completely immobile from your seat, the harder it gets to believe a part of you which convinces you this is not true.

The same man who has kept your mind unwarrantedly occupied is here? Same train in a same day. What is the probability of seeing him again? There’s only a tiny bit chance. Coincidence? Possibly… or perhaps, fate?

⇀

an: unedited :( what do you guys think?

#taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #taehyung smut #parent!taehyung #dad!taehyung #dad!au #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagines #bts x reader #taehyung fanfic #kim taehyung #taehyung au #bts fanfic #bts angst #bts imagines #bts fanfic au #bts fluff

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spooks-can-write · 5 years

Text

The Babysitter

Nestor x Reader

Summary: Emily hires you to babysit Cristobal (this is apart from the actual tv series events) and you and Nestor have some...tension. im bad at summaries ok.

Warnings: no smut just tension lmao. Cursing. Some predatory behavior, nothing beyond that.

Word count: idk tbh its longER tho bc i cant be short im s o r r y.

Hope yall enjoy 💞

The door chimed as you walked into the coffee shop, immediatley seeing Emily beam as she saw you made you loose a tension you didnt know you were holding. After leaving your last job abruptly you had been busy trying to get your shit together and through the struggle you were glad to take a break to see your old babysitter and childhood friend Emily.

"Hey (y/n)!" She stood up, you noted motherhood suited her well. She seemed more at peace now.

"Hey Em!" You looked down to see Cristobal sweetly sleeping in his noteably expensive stroller.

"So..." she seemed eager "I was talking with Miguel and we know you're...well...looking for a new job and place to stay so we thought it'd be perfect if you stayed with us as Cristobals full time nanny."

You were caught off gaurd to say the least "Oh, uh that does sounds great but i dont have any experience really."

"Dont worry well figure it out and ill be there in the beginning till you settle in. Trust me."

You thought you didnt have many other places to go either way and being in a stable enviornment would be good for a change. Fuck it.

"When can i start?"

Nannying was going better than you thought. It helped that Cristobal was more than well behaved but also you kind of had a knack for it. Not to mention the mansion Emily lived in. The only problem from time to time was that asshole with the cornrows. He always blatantly ignored you or just stared at you until you left the room. You thought long and hard about what you did to piss him off and couldnt think of a single thing, so you decided he was just an asshole.

You needed to check with Miguel about taking Cristobal to the park, going to his office you just found Nestor standing next to an empty desk.

"Where is Miguel?"

He didnt respond.

"Where.Is.Miguel?" You ask with more attitude than you meant.

He blinked like he didnt understand.

"Nestor!" You raised your voice

"He stepped out. He'll be back in 10." His calm tone didnt match yours. You instantly felt embaressed to have been rude. Shit.

"Thanks" you walked out wishing you had been more calm

--------------------------

When you walked in he looked up, thinking it was miguel, to see you. You were wearing that new top he liked. It hugged your curves. The sun was hitting your face making you glow.

Fuck you were beautiful. He wanted to shove the chair out of the way and grab you and kiss you more than he ever wanted anything he knew he couldnt have.

Shit. You looked mad.

"Nestor!"

He gathered his thoughts

He watched you walk out. His stomach twisted that you seemed mad at him. Fuck.

----------------------

They were supposed to be gone all day so you were walking around the house, bouncing and humming a hymn to Cristobal in your pjs. He slowly fell asleep as you walked around the stairs to the den, you stopped dead.

You were met with the eyes of Miguel, Devante, Nestor, and a fair skinned man with a lot of jewlery and a shit eating grin as his eyes obviosuly roamed your body. You were just wearing a little bit too short of shorts and a tank top that cristobals sleepy hand was tugging down. You felt your stomach twist and cheeks flush.

"Sorry-I I didnt know anyone was home, he was getting fussy so.." you trailed off as Miguel stood up giving you a look you couldnt read. You looked over to Nestor and he looked upset.

"Dont worry mija we were just finishing up." Miguel said, like he meant it.

"Actually" the strange man stood, still undressing you with his eyes. It was starting to piss you off.

"Miguelito i think we should wait till my party next saturday to...finalize this deal huh?" He said with that same grin.

"Por supuesto" miguel said as he ushered the man to the other side of the room, talking to each other in spanish too quiet for you to decipher.

You felt stuck in your place. You focused on Cristobals breath against your chest. Trying to let it calm you. You noted more of the man. He looked dangerous. Emily told you Miguel was a international businessman and you believed her till you came here. You werent stupid enough to ask exactly what he did but you also werent stupid enough to believe he was just a businessman either.

The men came back and stood in front of you for a beat.

"Hey listen im really sorry i thought everyone was gone-" you started

"No worries chiquita, but do you have a passport?" Devante asked, eyebrow raised

-----------------------------

"Well if im being whored out i mine as well look good right?" You said smoothing down the soft rose gold satin dress as Emily and Dita sang your praises.

"How many times do i have to tell you (y/n) he just told Miguel he wanted to see you at the party, hes not going to do anything and we won't let him anyways." Emily reassured you, doing your hair.

"You're a part of the family now mija, this is our job as the women." You knew that comment was true, you saw it with your own eyes and that made it sting even more.

You were doing it for the sake of Emily and her family you told yourself. Plus you did look amazing in the dress.

You tugged at the zipper of the dress, it wouldn't budge.

"Hey em, can you-" you turned to see nestor at the door.

"I can if you want" his voice was gentle. Not that he was ever callous with you but it felt deliberate.

"Yeah sure" you half whispered, surprised it got caught in your throat.

He walked over. You moved your hair in front as he gently pulled the zipper up. Touching it when he was done. You turned.

"Listo?" He asked

You nodded, following. Feeling a flutter in your chest.

The drive to mexico was beautiful and serene. You mind did wander to Nestor and how sweet he was to you. You wondered if it was a fluke. Maybe he felt sorry for you. You tried not. to feel sorry for yourself.

You arrived to what looked like a castle. It had the guards with machine guns and everything. You found humor in that, as the situation sank in, you weren't scared.

It you were honest with yourself even when Nestor was cold to you, you always felt safe with him.

You all got out of the car, you last, as Nestor helped you onto the uneven stones. It'd been a minute since you wore heels.

"Dont worry." He leaned down to talk close to you, squeezing your hand. You met his smile.

The music was loud as you walked in. People were dancing and the mariachis were amazing. You were thankful to sit next to emily and dita. You felt eyes on you from men and their wives. You tugged your dress up. Definitley not the most revealing at the party but apparently it was enough.

"Its because you are not married" Dita told you, a comforting hand on your shoulder. "They are jealous" She smiled. It didnt make you feel better. You tried to focus on the drink in front of you.

The man from the house yelled joyfully and drunkenly in spanish and started walking toward the table. The men quickly stood up and met him halfway. Ushering him into a private room smoothly. Not before you made eye contact and he winked. You held your shudder.

The night went on and you found yourself almost having fun and forgetting the dangerous people around you.

You went to the bathroom as Devante and Dita danced.

You were looking for the bathroom when you felt a heavy hand on your waist. You jumped and turned. It was the man.

"Hello pretty women" he said with a accent slurred with the smell of strong alcohol that pinched your nose.

You backed up to find yourself against a wall. You started to look for a way out but his hand got harder on your waist, moving to hold your hip.

He leaned in speaking breathy spanish against your ear you couldnt understand on your best day. You took the opportunity to side step, noticing his henchmen about 10 ft away watching, glocks on their hips. The situation sank your stomach. You wouldnt be getting out of here.

"(Y/n) ive been looking everwhere for you." Dita shuffled past the man grabbing your arm and pulling you away. "Miguel needs to talk with you." She said louder than necesarry.

You were at a near jog down the hall. She stopped and turned you when you were safely away but not into the main area.

"Are you okay mija?" She held your hand. You felt tears welling.

"Men like that will ways exist and here, you will find them in abundance. It's important to stay close to us. They prey on the lone wolf okay?" You nodded. She wiped the tear you didnt know you shed.

She stayed with you till you calmed down.

"Brave face mija" she said as you walked back into the room, back to the table. Nestor and miguel were there looking directly at you, worried, trying to read your face. You forced a smile. Understanding what being in this family meant. It wasnt good. It wasnt bad. It was just your life now.

Nestor quickly sat next to you. Emily eyeing you, sympathetically. They were all too smart to not put together what happened. She touched your thigh, you flinched. She removed it. You could see she made a heartbroken face out the corner of your eyr but you couldnt bring yourself to meet her eyes.

"Im okay i promise. Just..shook up" you were honest. She nodded. You knew she felt terrible.

The night continued. Nestor wanted to kill him and he knew how he would do it. He shared looks with Miguel. He shook his head. Not yet. The second you walked out, holding ditas arm like it was the only thing keeping you up his stomach twisted. Rage ran down his back.

When he didnt see that bastard Diego and didnt see you, his mind raced and he was about to go down the hall to kill that fuck when Dita grabbed him.

"You can't. It has to be me." She didnt have to explain. He knew why. It killed him to turn around and walk away from the situation as his mind let dark thoughts in of what he was doing to you.

He kept looking at you, he could see you trying to be brave but under the table your leg was shaking and you were fidgeting with your hands.

"Come outside with me baby" he leaned over so only you could hear him.

You looked over at him standing with his hand out. You were thankful. Did he just call you baby? It sounded good coming out of his mouth.

You took his hand. It was calloused and strong. It calmed you down almost instantly as he led you outside. When people saw him coming they almost fell over themselves to move out of your way.

The cool air felt good on your flushed cheeks. He let go of your hand and led you to the balcony. You leaned on it, embracing the night air.

"Its really beautiful out here, all things considered." You chuckled.

He looked worringly at you, "Thank you Nestor." You grabbed his arm.

Fuck, his name sounded so good in your mouth.

"You're welcome." He watched as you leaned against the balcony. He wanted to touch you, tell you, youre beautiful but after what happened thats not what you needed and he knew it.

-------------------

You stayed like that for awhile, in each other's silence. The muffled sound of the mariachis relaxing you.

You felt your eyes getting heavy.

"Dont get tired now its not even 1am yet." You looked over, surprised he noticed.

"Maybe we can just stay out here all night then." You smiled at him.

Fuck he would do just about anything you asked. Crawl on glass in the snow, change your oil, anything as long as you kept smiling at him like that.

"But it's probably best to go inside right?" You sighed.

"I think so."

You grabbed his arm as you walked in, holding onto him and keeping your eyes on the table.

Time passed and you struggled to stay awake, you leaned on Nestor's shoulder without thinking, you froze. He moved over to make you more comfortable, moving his arm around you but not too much. You snuggled in. Damn he smelled good too. You closed your eyes, feeling people looking. Fuck em.

You were stirred up by Nestor rubbing your upper arm "hey, hey, time to go."

You stirred, never really falling asleep but not present for the end. Everyone was filing out slowly.

Nestor was looking over to Miguel and Diego. He shook Miguel's hand. He didn't look away as he put his coat over your shoulders and walked you all out.

You noticed Emily smirking at you, making eyes at Nestor's jacket around you.

You tried to open your mouth

"-Ah." She cut you off. "You don't need to tell me anything." She smiled.

You smiled back, happily getting in the warm car and doozing on and off on the way home, catching Nestor look at you in the rearview mirror made you blush.

You all made your way inside as you felt the emotional fatigue of the day in your legs.

Nestor was waiting by the front door. Not for you it seemed. Just taking a moment.

"Can i be out here with you for awhile?" You asked, ready for him to say anything.

"Yeah."

"Thanks for tonight, for taking care of me."

"I know you can take care of yourself (y/n). I just didn't want you to feel alone out there." He spoke softly, sitting next to you.

You stared at his face for the first time it seemed. He was beautiful. You dared to glance down at his lips.

He followed your eyes. He wouldn't move qn inch on you tonight. He didnt want to chance pushing you but fuck did he want you so bad.

You weren't used to initiating, you could see he wanted you but wouldnt move. You closed the distance, stopping just short to see if he'd react.

His head just barely titled up towards you, you took it and kissed him, you being the one to take control felt good. You wondered if he was usually like this.

He was gentle and sweet and you found yourself appreciating it tonight. You grabbed his face and you deepened the kiss.

You felt brave and stood up and sat down to straddle him. He grunted in the back of his throat as you grabbed his braid he moved his hands to hold your thigh and ass.

The kiss slowed down and he smiled into it. You laughed, dropping your head into his shoulder, touching your lips.

"Wow uh-" you got off him, laughing with him.

"Yeah" he laughed, grabbing your hand. "Let's go inside."

He dropped you off at your room which felt cute and a little ridiculous. It was fitting.

Words failed you and it seemed to him, as well.

"Goodnight." He said softly again.

"Good night Nestor." You replied closing your door, silently congratulating yourself for not dragging him into your room.

Whatever, give it a week. You smiled.

#this has been on my mind #hope yall like it as much as i love nestor #he's so fine and so underrated yall #show my mans some love he needs it #nestor oceteva #nestor oceteva imagine #Nestor oceteva x reader #mayans imagine #mayans x reader #mayans fic #mayans one shot #mayans smut

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mercifuldeaths · 5 years

Text

The Heat that Drives the Light

Michael Langdon x Reader

Summary: Michael hasn’t been himself having to literally carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Because Michael hasn’t been okay, you haven’t been either.

Notes: Just a blurb that got out of hand. Was originally supposed to be really smutty and about distracting Michael while he worked...but this came out of that. I think it’s a little more interesting to take down the walls that Outpost!Michael puts up and get a little more into his psyche. Sorry it’s a bit sad and not smutty at all, but I hope you enjoy, nonetheless.

Warnings: Sad cockwarming. Because apparently I’ve made that a thing.

Word Count: 3K

Credit to @yourkingcodyfern for the beautiful gif.

Being underground was suffocating. The walls closing in, high ceilings not doing enough to clear the air and you felt the dust settling in your lungs. Outpost Three had become something strange to you. Having spent happier times there with Michael when things were simpler placed fond memories in certain corners where he had hiked up your skirt or placed little nips on your neck. But now, it reeked of desolation.

Sure, there were the Sanctuary candidates, but did they really matter? Gone were the warlocks that Michael had called his friends, his teachers, your mentors. All that remained were the near-empty hallways. Modified victorian dress rather than the Hawthorne uniform you liked to remember Michael wearing, his hair still short, and eyes still bright.

He had hit something of a wall. After traveling to all the outposts, each of them overrun, each failing his father a little more, Michael started to turn inwards-even to you. You knew it wasn’t you nor him. It was the stress, because that’s all he could be described as of late. He hid it well, you admitted. Perfectly coiffed hair, tailored suits, and a cocky grin on his lips all made up for the man you knew was crumbling under the facade. The crushing guilt he felt for not carrying out his father’s plan to perfection.

It really wasn’t that bad...it was just one of those nights. A night where Michael was overwhelmed and working himself into the ground. He had been sat at the desk in what was his former dormitory when he was a student. He opted to take that one, refusing another Outpost guest to take ownership over it. Sentiment, you supposed.

Regardless, he sat there since dawn, or what you imagined was dawn as it was impossible to tell in the claustrophobic bunker. He had refused meals, even offering something from the stash you both had packed from the Sanctuary, and only accepted coffee. Just something to keep him going. You knew this wasn’t how he had intended to spend the day. He was dressed in his usual tailored shirts and jacket, ready to face the guests. But he hadn’t stepped outside the bedroom. And on days like that, he usually would stay in his sweatpants, hair tied in a bun, and shun the world from seeing him like that. Vulnerable. Out of his armor.

He was growing distant. Again, not at his fault and probably rooted in your natural insecurity of the relationship. It wasn’t easy being the partner of the Antichrist.

You continued to roam the halls, anything to do at this point ,having read all the interesting books in the Hawthorne library ages ago. The other guests of the Outpost were asleep, mandated by Venable’s strict schedule. She knew better than to say anything to you.

Your shoes clicked on the polished marble of the floor, almost comforting you. You felt less alone, in a sense. The sealed corridor that lead to the room Michael performed his rituals in was slightly pushed in, reminding you that maybe he had started one. That’s really all he did. Work from his computer, work with the other Cooperative higher-ups, and work for his father under the guise of asking for help. You knew better than that.

It was maybe the third time you had to pick Michael up off the floor, blood still painting his skin and the floor around him, you asked him to stop. He had passed out. Weak from blood loss, dehydration, probably malnutrition. You begged him to slow down, to take a break. He couldn’t. He literally had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

You could tell it was getting to that point again, because it did ebb and flow depending on the state of the world, the outposts, the competency of the Cooperative that week. It was understandable. Outpost Three was a success in some ways. But others, a massive failure. Nobody was making it to the Sanctuary. He had closed the book on every person left in the world. Made his final cuts, and was now weighing the decisions heavily in his mind. It was extremely successful because it was still standing, almost everyone alive. And then there was that Mallory he was trying to figure out-sitting on his knees, blood pooling as he screamed for help, screamed for answers. You weren’t sure if he was actually asking his father for help or just needed to scream his frustrations. There was a feeling sometimes that Satan had given up on him, left him here to flounder until everyone on the earth, including Michael, was gone-given into the fire and disease around them.

With really nothing else to do, and nobody to talk to, you meandered back to Michael’s room. Even if you shared it during your stay at the Outpost, it would always stay as Michael’s dormitory in the back of your mind.

You took the long way. Passing by your secret corners, the library shelves you’d hide behind, the kitchens where midnight snacks were shared...anything to remind you of the Michael that stole your heart and soul.

You sighed before opening the door, not bothering to knock as he had probably already heard you. Preparing yourself for the image of your overworked Michael, a sight that saddened you just a little, you opened the heavy door.

As you expected, he was sat there, typing away on his laptop. The blue light of the screen cast ghoul like shadows on his features, reminding you of the demon’s face you had only borne witness to once. That with the warm light coming from the candles and fireplace set Michael in a strange light. Regardless, it accentuated the stress hiding in his shoulders, between his brows, his tightened lips.

He didn’t look up, but did spare a, “Hi, my dove,” as you headed over to the bed. Changing course, you decided to walk over to him, your Antichrist who seemed so small lately. Feeling a little selfish, you ran your fingers through his hair, something you knew would distract him but also something you needed.

It had taken a toll on you, the only person you really trusted, to abandon you, in a sense. You just wanted to feel him. Touch him. And judging by the way his typing slowed and he leaned into it, you suspected he needed the same. His eyes closed lazily, sleepily, as he rested his cheek against your palm. You rubbed soothing circles into his cheekbone, admiring the beautiful face that was hidden under the layers of stress, under the pressure put on him. When he was himself, his face was soft-no tension, pure radiance. Eyes not shooting daggers, no snarling lip, venom in his voice. Just a man who was forced to grow up too fast, thrown the world to carry, and nobody to help him hold it.

You’d said it a million times to him, but it didn’t stop you from muttering a small, “You work too hard, Michael,” while still stroking his soft hair.

“I know,” came the familiar reply, voice hoarse from lack of use.

“But you have to,” you said before he could. You knew the script by then.

“...But I have to,” he echoed, typing stopped for a moment, his hand coming to meet yours that had somehow settled over his chest. “I know I’ve been….absent lately. You know I don’t want to be doing this, right? I didn’t know it would be like this.” He looked to you, bloodshot eyes starting to tear. Before any could fall, she shook his head to refocus and let his eyes look over to the small collection of empty mugs that covered the desk, so very unlike Michael’s usually neat freakish tendencies. He picked one up, dark, cold coffee sat at the bottom, obviously abandoned quite a while ago. He knocked it back, grimacing at the too strong, bitter grinds that had made it into the cup. You saw his hand shake, just the slightest amount.

“Maybe no more of that.” You took the mug from him and replaced it on the desk, further from the others and his collection of files. “Come to bed, it’s late.”

He hesitated and you already knew the answer. “I just need to finish this. Then I can sleep.” He nodded, almost trying to convince himself that he’d be sleeping next to you soon enough. “In a few minutes… get in bed and I’ll meet you.”

He tried to smile. It wasn’t like he was unaware of what he was doing to you. He saw the way your heart seemed to break a little more each time he had to choose work over you. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t in his plan. His nor Satan’s. Michael knew deep down that he was never supposed to fall for anyone-he hadn’t the time.

But had happened. And you were his.

He wouldn’t change it for anything.

“I’m not sleeping without you tonight,” you mumbled, leaning over him from behind and gently kissing his neck. Just a small motivation to get him to relax, just a little. You untied the messy bun his hair had been pulled into, loving the way it fell to his shoulders and framed his face against the contrasting lights.

His eyes remained unfocused, looking away in guilt. He wanted you. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you. It was that there wasn’t enough time and for all his planning everything remained a failure. He supposed that maybe he deserved this as punishment. Working every day, nonstop, while his love was there and waiting for him. A sick mockery of Hell itself. Michael suspected that it was his father’s doing. Allowed to remain living as a reward for bringing the end times but punishment for not doing it well enough.

“I’m so-sorry,” he choked out, voice still rough and cracking.

Coming around to stand in front of him, you tilted his head up to look at you. No more words were needed as you leaned down to place a gentle kiss to his full lips. You felt a sigh come from him, a small amount of tension leaving. He couldn’t help but move against you, hands reaching to your waist, your cheek, anywhere. He needed to feel you. Feel how you moved, breathed, radiated energy. Just to feel something living and breathing in this cold, dead world he had created.

Before even thinking, processing that he was still busy, you slipped off the dressing gown you had on as coverage as you meandered Hawthorne earlier. Michael settled his hands on your hips, thumbs tracing small circles as you stood before him, in between his spread legs and his desk. He leaned in, lips and tongue tracing your stomach and sides. Unable to stop himself, he pulled you in, arms wrapping around tight, until you were settled straddling his lap.

You continued the open but small kisses to his neck. Unbuttoning his shirt, you slid it down his shoulders, knowing full well that he wouldn’t fully undress but needing to feel his warmth against your cheek as you rested on his shoulder. He was hardening under your ministrations but that really wasn’t your intention as you just needed to feel him. Not even sexually. Just as another person. His warmth. The rise and fall of his chest, his breath.

Knowing you were causing just another distraction in his already busy life, you stopped your small movements but couldn’t find it in you to climb off, reveling in the sensation of him against you. He felt the same. Your weight on him a reassuring presence that maybe he wasn’t as alone as the thought.

Taking a moment from the small bites he was leaving on your shoulder, he looked past you, eyes settling on the open laptop. You felt him sign under you, already defeated. His hands hesitated over your hips, refraining from grabbing you like he wanted to.

“Michael. Look at me,” you whispered, the room only full of the sounds from the crackling fire. Your thumb traced over his cheekbone, eyes pleading for him to just relax for even a moment. “Please…”

He couldn’t, ashamed that he’s let it get this far. Let himself get so caught up in work that you were neglected...that he, himself, was feeling neglected. He sighed, eyes still downcast. “I have to. I know we’re both feeli-”

“You can keep working. I know how important this is. I just wish you would let me help you relax a little.”

“I miss you.” The confession dropped from his lips. Despite spending every day, almost all day, at his side you missed him, too. Even when you were sitting beside one another, laying in bed, even occasionally while intimate...he felt miles away.

“You don’t have to miss me anymore. I’m right here.” You resumed placing small kisses onto his temple, jawline, all the places that made his eyes flutter shut and heart full. His hardness still pressed into you and you reached to cup him through his tailored trousers.

“Y/N….not tonight,” he choked out, looking broken.

“No. I don’t want you to fuck me, I just need to be close to you. I need you.”

Michael nodded slowly, recognition setting in. He allowed you to remove him from his confines, breath already coming faster now that your hand was gripped around his length.

“I need you, too. Please. I need to be in you,” he murmured against your lips, sounding more desperate than he cared to admit. You nodded in response, noses brushing innocently, and placed another kiss behind his ear, over the mark of the Beast. The very thing that defined him, made him what he was, who he was. The reason he was this overworked shell of himself. You couldn't help but still love every part of him.

Not completely free of bad intentions, you pressed yourself against him so he could feel the slick heat of your core against himself. Michael let out a soft moan, his mouth occupied toying with your nipple. You felt him shiver under you and tingles resonate up your spine. As much as you wanted to, it wasn’t the time to play cruel to your Antichrist.

It didn’t take long for you to line yourself up to him and before you could do anything, Michael’s steady hands gripping your waist forced you slowly downward onto him. Once fully seated on him, the two of you let out contented sighs. His head rolled back and your hand instinctively went to catch it, supporting his neck. You took the opportunity to nip on his full bottom lip, but smiles bloomed over both of your faces. Finally home.

“You...still need to work.” The spell remained unbroken, however. He nodded reluctantly, head now resting on your front.

“I know,” he resigned and you felt his hands leave your body, cold rushing in where his touch left. It was mere seconds later you heard the quick taps of his nimble fingers over the keyboard, the shuffle of paper.

It was irrelevant. Everything was except the warmth you felt radiating from him, the stretch of your cunt around him, his body inside yours. Physically as close as two people can be. Emotionally...you were getting back there, you could feel it.

He showed it in small ways. A small kiss to your palm when you’d graze a hand over the velvet of his jacket, the softening of his eyes from across the room when dealing with Cooperative business or reprimanding Outpost inhabitants. It was there and always would be. You knew the shroud was lifting and it would be back to hiding in the corridors of Hawthorne, his laugh radiating and a perfect match for his boyish grin.

One of his hands removed itself from the keyboard to caress down your spine and settled at the base, warm and firm. You breaths matched, each sigh shifting him inside you, hitting a new angle, making you feel even closer than before.

The keyboard clicks continued, slower due to the fact the one of his hands was stroking the soft skin at your hip. Michael’s shoulders dropped a fraction when you placed your head on his shoulder, nose brushing the sensitive spot under his jaw. His eyes lowered, breath softened.

Over the course of the minutes, he would occasionally drop a kiss onto your shoulder, soft and awfully chaste considering the fact that he was buried in you. But it wasn’t about that, that evening. It was about Michael and who he was and his breath and movement and reminding him that maybe things weren’t so bad in the godforsaken hellscape he was responsible for. That there was still some good left, despite the original goal to strip humanity of that.

And he knew it. He felt it from you. The undying love that you held for him and he could only be reminded that there was good left. And that he loved you, the same.

The typing continued even after Michael dropped a cheek to your shoulder, head tilted, as he somehow continued working through his drooping eyelids.

“Mmmmmm,” he mumbled into your skin, exhausted.

“I know.” He didn’t need to speak, you already knew what he was trying to say.

His other hand settled on the back of your neck, the only sound being the crackling fire and candles. You shivered and he pulled you in, bodies still connected.

“Michael,” you whispered, going to suggest that maybe you two go to bed, but the small shake of his head told you that he’d rather stay put.

His breathing evened out, face still resting on your shoulder. All his muscles relaxed into your touch. Finally at ease.

Your fingers threaded through his hair and you considered waking him to move to bed...but you were comfortable too. Warm and finally feeling a little more complete with him inside you. Perhaps closing your eyes for just a few minutes couldn’t hurt.

Tags: @ccodyfern @langdonsinferno @langdonsrapture @starwlkers @michael-langdon-appreciation @babypinkstyles94 @i-will-die-for-jim-mason @langdonalien @katiekitty261 @duncvn @wroteclassicaly @lvngdvns @aveiangdon @americanhorrorstudies @sojournmichael @1-800-bitchcraft @nana15774 @langdonsdemon @michael-langdon-owns-my-soul

#michael langdon #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon smut #ahs apocalypse #ahs fanfiction #ahs coven #cody fern fanfiction #jim mason #duncan shepherd #langdon #outpost michael #sad michael langdon makes me sad too #why do i write sad things all the time idk

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