#i will seriously cherish her until the day i die

[cipherr]

#swtor #sith warrior #eralei audroti #gonna ramble in the tags real quick hope u don’t mind #six years ago today i created one of my most beloved characters of my whole entire life #and i may not really Go Here(TM) anymore but i still love her just the same #i can’t even really put into words how much she means to me #without getting too much into it…as corny as it sounds she really did help me realize so much about myself #im no stranger to putting myself in a character i have been doing this since i was a child #but there are such sacred precious pieces of me in eralei #pieces i never even realized i planted #and i will forever be thankful for this beautiful little creation of mine #she inspired me so much #led me to deepen some friendships even #even though i don’t play swtor anymore she will always have a special place in my heart #i will seriously cherish her until the day i die #she may just be a fictional character in a video game born from my imagination #but to me she is so so so much more than that #happy birthday eralei #i love u

[volturissideslut]

The guards with a human mate who wants them to turn them instead of Aro.

𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎 𝖌𝖚𝖆𝖗𝖉

Gonna be honest I wrote the names out about a month ago but couldn't think of anything to put so it out late late, brief mention of sex in Demetris

Alec

panic, panic, panic

listen babes he's not that good with self control when it comes to people juice so please let someone else do it

in all seriousness though, he become terrified of his every move around humans and especially you as his mind swarms with every possibly and every outcome of the multitude of things that could go wrong if he is the one to turn you

he becomes quite anxious for the remainder of your human life- something he greatly regrets as he didn't really get to spend time with you before you changed for, well, forever and he didn't really get to greive nor cherish you in you last weeks and perhaps even months

in the end he will turn you if that is what you wish and will immediately regret being so fearful of it because it was truly a wasted opportunity to retreat back to himself instead of taking you on human dates

Jane

Jane knows the bounds of her self control and knows that she could successfully turn you herself and be perfectly contented with herself after with minimal stuggle

self control is what she prides herself on and so it doesn't really take much convincing- if any at all

while occasionally her mind does wonder to the dreaded 'what ifs' like her brother she always manages to remind herself of her capability and bring herself back to square one

at first she'll seem like nothing has changed but as the date yiu have set to be turned creeps closer and closer take notice in the minor changer in her attitudes toward you

of course she is relieved and happy and excited you want to turn and spent eternity with her in the first place but she can't help the slight resentment and early onset nostalgia inching toward her mind and heart and will want to make the most for now

this may manifest itself as an extra date here and there or maybe just some nice gestures like buying you flowers or that book you've really wanted, but it is minimal as she tends to be quite closed off while you're human

just keep an eye on her, yeah?

Demetri

Turning a lover as an extremely intimate asct that goes past the bounds you have already explored in your relationship.

He would be hesitant for a while, pleasing you consider aro just because you truly mean the world to him and while he is confident (perhaps even arrogant) in himself that all seems to vanish when it comes to you

eventually he comes to terms with it and actually wants to be the one to turn you instead of aro

I mean, once he actually thinks about it, surely sex with a human takes more self control than turning one? And it's not like in the previous times you two have slept together that yiu have been hurt in any way shape or form - he would simply die on the spot if you had and trust me this man can be more dramatic then emo eddy when he wants to be

Once he does turn you nothing really changes, your still the same person he fell in love with, just more durable

the act of turning you itself will be extremely intimate with him. I am a firm believer that he is a hopeless romantic at heart and it will basically be a date day where you spend the whole day doing things the both of you enjoy and in the end you'll both just be holding each other in bed when he bites you. He'll hold you impossibly closer and whisper sweet praises into your ear until you wake

Felix

Felix is an avid believer that you are the best thing to have ever graced this earth and practically worships the ground you walk on. Anything you wany you need only say the word and its yours

this extends to Felix being the one to turn you and although he may be a little resistant at first, once you explain to him why you want it he's more than happy to comply

if it be simply that you feel more comfortable with him doing it or you want it to be more infimate then great, no problem!

if its because you think that after all this time he may still want a taste of your blood, even a miniscule droplet then he will protest

he's glad you want it to be him and place that much trust in him but he just wants it to be for the right reasons

#twilight #twilight renascence #twilight saga #volturi #volturi guard #alec volturi #jane volturi #demetri volturi #felix volturi #headcannons #hc #x reader #volturissideslut

[beesfairlyland]

Heyy! I just wanna ask you something related to non dualism cus I'm really getting curious ≧﹏≦ 🤍🤍

⚠️tw: mention of suicide, depression and swearing

I've had this thing going on in my head that I wanna share with you. I have a friend of mine that's depressed, and suicidal (yeah actually even I'm tryna help her state of mental health) she always try to make sad or depressing jokes, but 2 days ago she said something that's stuck in my head for a while. She said ‘‘people who get to die are such damn lucky b*stards’’ actually this seems like some sort of thing that our society terms suicide as ‘passing on the pain to the others’ But for me, as someone who's into non dualism finds it interesting.

Like people who die, means they leave the physical realm, are lucky? Like is death inevitable for us pure awarenesses? I think not cus you entirely leave your physical realm once you die. Actually ik there's no start or an end for all of us. Suppose we plan on a reincarnation or something in this reality, and we leave our physical realm (which is an illusion ofc) we can definitely wake up wherever we want to right? So suicidal people intend and plan to reincarnate in a better place? I mean just help me out lol, there's a lot of questions going on in my head.

Sorry for the long ass story lol, if you're not comfortable to answer this it's totally fine! Or if you know, just link some articles or something if you find :)

Have a nice day ☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*🤍🤍

Heyaa!!💗

I am soo sorry that your friend is going through this phase....tell her that it's not forever and it's gonna be alright!!

Hmm...your question is quite interesting. Let's jump into that!

(whatever i say it's just my opinion... don't take them as fact)

"like ppl who die, means they leave physical realm are lucky"

Yeah they are kinda lucky as they get rid of the illusionary pain of this illusionary world and then what? They reincarnate again into another seemingly appearing human and go thru the cycle of illusionary life again, die again, born again....and this goes on until they decide to find the actual reason of their illusionary birth.

And that my love, is finding our True selves. The reason we were put on this planet, this game called life was too find who we are. But funny enough, we took this game soo seriously that we forgot the actual purpose of the game. This treasure hunt game was made for THAT to have some fun.

And once you find yourSELF..... that's when you are "lucky". After that you take the game as a game. You enjoy it. You cherish the beautiful moments this character experience. And you become Free from pain.

"like is death inevitable for us pure awareness"

THAT was never born, so THAT can never die.

Infact imo death is inevitable as long as you want it to be. As THAT you decide what you want. You wanna live forever...ofc go ahead!!

"so suicidal people intend and plan to reincarnate in a better place"

Noo!! They just hope that they'll be reincarnated in some less miserable human. But all they do is just make themselves enter in the cycle of illusionary life again.

DO NOT EVER THINK SUICIDE IS THE SOLUTION FOR REALISING SELF..... IT'S JUST GONNA "RESTART" THE "JOURNEY" OF REALISING SELF AGAIN

Once you Realise SELF completely that's when you get to choose which experience you wanna have in next soo called rebirth (if you choose to reborn). Ofc all illusionary.

Hope i made you understand a bit!

And it's totally okayy....you can ask me whatever you want to!!

Hope you have a nice day too!!💗

#non dualism #nonduality #ask #conciousness #awareness

[musingsfromalily]

Assorted Path to Nowhere - Prologue & SALVA Arc Quotes

Just a compilation of lines from the game that can be range from fluffy, soul-crushing, and chaotic. Feel free to alter lines when needed, remember to specify for multimuses!

“Come back to me.... Your battle has begun.”

“Where are you going? It’s not over between us yet... “

“Die, die! The world doesn’t need jails!”

“The elevator will take you to the hidden mezzanine. You will be safe staying there. Don’t leave until help arrives.”

“You’re coming with me.”

“....You want to fight like this?”

“...I’ve crossed the line. ___, you’re stronger than we think.”

“I’m not like those baddies. See? I didn’t cause any trouble, nor did I try to escape.”

“I’ve begged you so many times! Are you gonna let me out or not?!”

“I don’t have time to play with you. Before I count to five, open the door, or I’ll kill you!”

“Keep quiet...Or it’ll be your neck next time...”

“Don’t move.... this child hates when prey struggles.”

“Unlike those people outside, I... We are the real criminals in this place.”

“Let me out! Bastard! Let me kill him! I’ll kill him!”

“Follow your instincts. This is why you exist.”

“No! Stay away from me, no!!!”

“Please give me orders. From now on, I only follow your orders.”

“...I don’t need that name anymore.”

“The most important thing is that you’re alive.”

“This riot is just a diversion. This won’t be her real agenda.”

“Amazing. You guys are still alive. I was worried it would hurt you.”

“I will come back to you when I finish what I need to do.”

“Why didn’t you run away when you had the chance?”

“I don’t need freedom.”

“It’ll be a long time before we can meet again.”

“Who are you....?”

“The secret will be revealed one day, but not now.”

“Look at your cities. Look at what monsters human sin is breeding...”

“___, go witness the end of this revelry. Whatever happens, don’t look away.”

“From now on, you will likely face more insanity, malice, and catastrophes. But it is our duty to hold onto the light in the darkness, and to salvage hope from despair.”

“We have no other choice but him.”

“Why isn’t the Public Security Bureau stepping in?”

“I’ll try to keep you alive for a bit longer.”

“We need to be CIVILIZED and POLITE without our words to maintain our image of our Syndicate.”

“You find saints in churches and drunks in hostels.”

“We walk with the ten devils.”

“But I’m just putting it out there--I hate gangsters. This jerk is definitely just using us. Don’t trust him too much, dumbass.”

“I surrender! Lord, surrender! Lord ___, stop!”

“I have no choice in Syndicate. I need to know how to fake it to survive!”

“Yuck! You’re Minos’s trash!”

“Huh? No, no, no! I’m just a useless loser. I can’t be of much help.”

“At least don’t put me in the front row in a fight!”

"Get your men to treat them with respect.”

“But why should you consider their feelings? They are just your tools, and you are their master.”

“Do you know how much I respect you?”

“If you don’t discipline your dog, we will!”

“Want to take revenge?”

“I take our cooperation very seriously.”

“A fight like this is more direct than a verbal argument. I can see you already know how to socialize with the Syndicans.”

“I don’t actually believe him. It’s just back-scratching.”

“That’s fine. If he betrays us, we’ll be able to deal with him.”

“If this makes you a monster, then what about me who binds you with the ‘shackles’ ?”

“Before dumping you, I’ll help you one more time. You should cherish this opportunity.”

“Don’t waste your time, I’m not going to tell you anything.”

“I’m sorry I was so slow.”

“Forget it... I already knew you were a freak.”

“Those guys weren’t friends, we just used each other for what we needed.”

“...What are YOU mad about? It doesn’t make any sense, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“....So much sweat. You must be very anxious. You’re safe now.”

”They will try to kill you any way they can.”

“Mania distorts humans, while doctors restore their sanity. This is my duty.”

“You can investigate her or arrest her. I owe you one, but it will have to be after she wakes up.”

“Until today, no one knows exactly where Mania comes from. It has been spreading in Syndicate since many years ago.”

“....All I want is for Mania to disappear.”

“It was just a nightmare! It’s not real! Wake up! I’m here holding your hand right now, waiting for you to come back!”

“Mania isn’t power and mutation. It’s an irreversible mental breakdown.”

“She doesn’t want to turn into a monster.”

“I’ve made my own judgment.”

“You need to hold on. Stop going down the wrong track. Stop being used by that man.”

“I don’t want well-meaning lies! I don’t need it....Please tell me the truth.”

“Stop playing tricks! Your life is mine, dead or alive. You must obey my orders! Kill them!”

“Then, tell me ___.... Can I still be saved?”

“I’ll save you.”

“I am the one who binds you. I won’t make you do evil again or let you become a monster.”

“As long as someone is reaching for hope, then you have hope too.”

“You still have somewhere you want to go back to, right?”

“....Is it not too late? Can... I still turn back now...?”

“Let all Sinners go to hell!”

“....I don’t want to fight you here.”

“I’ll let you all die here with these monsters. You deserve it. You’re monsters too!”

“...How did you get here? How are you still alive?”

“You’re a doctor, have you ever killed anyone? Stop pretending. Do you actually dare?”

“... Doctors don’t kill. I only heal.”

“Don’t make such a terrible face, ___. It’s all over.”

“Then give him to me. Don’t dirty your hands over him.”

“It’s time to go, ___. You can’t handle the people who are coming.”

“You’ve already done more than enough. Nothing that happened in Syndicate was your fault. You don’t belong here in the first place.”

“Don’t sink any deeper. Don’t become one of them. Don’t be like me.... you should be the one who keeps clean.”

“Go now. I’ll buy you some time.”

“Ugh....it’s a misunderstanding. I’m just passing by. I’m just too sleepy that I dozed off.”

#path to nowhere #ptn #ptn meme #okay to reblog

[princessmahle]

The dark frost hashira  black y/n reader x tengen x tengen’s wives Part 6

Your body was still aching but suma still held you close to her while makio leaded the way. Inosuke and tengen had already left to fight daki. There was also another young slayer that you saw assisting them. But you didn’t realize him before because despite him fighting he was asleep most of the time. You didn’t hear anyone say his name so you shrugged it off. When you and the girls finally made it to the surface you were met up with hinatsuru. She was surprised to see you here but saw you were in a daze. You smiled at her though as seeing her alive relived you. “Makio what’s wrong with her?” Makio looked up “she’s weakened from that obi sash demon.While she held us captive it apparently was absorbing her specifically. Probably because she was a hashira…” hinatsuru thought for a moment what Makio said “hmmmm…that is a possibility…well anyway we better give her something to get her strength back…” suma spoke up “lord tengen gave her some Medicine when she was unconscious so she should regain her strength soon! we’re just trying to keep her out of harms way until she can fight!” Makio got annoyed “oh suma don’t you remember what lord tengen told us earlier when she was unconscious!?”

You were now fully aware of their conversation “He said to get her away from the battle and to take her back to headquarters! She wasn’t even assigned to this mission because she volunteered! He doesn’t want anything to happen to her!” Hearing all this you realized tengen was only trying to protect the ones he cherished most. And while you admire that, you were also offended that he did not take you as a hashira seriously….he thought you weren’t meant to put your life in danger for others…(cough) you got up as you clear your throat.     “Y/n! You need to rest!” Suma replied. “No…” you replied with a low weak voice. “I appreciate your efforts ladies…and I would protect you to the very end as well. But I’m a hashira, my very job is to sacrifice myself for you all. I want to stop the very monsters that took away my whole life from me. I can never get that back. And if I do die trying to protect you all from those demons I have no reason in living. I lost my family from those demons. Why else would I stay alive when I have nothing to live for…” suma was now crying, hina was in shock by your words and Makio looked more angry than she would be at suma… (slap!) Makio slapped you after your words made her jump. You were basically going in as a suicide mission to her. You held your face and then looked back at her “Makio…why did you…” “SHUT THE HELL UP!” You were now silent and Makio continued “You are the most important person in our lives! You tried to save us when lord tengen couldn’t find even find us! You kept him sane when we were missing! Ever since we met you that day, lord tengen couldn’t stop talking about you! All he does is talk about  how lonely you were sometimes and how you could’ve been part of our family! Don’t you get it  y/n!? You already have a family! You have us!” Makio was now crying she couldn’t stand seeing you risk your life for the mission. That was her job. They lived with that burden all of their lives as kunoichis. Even when tengen told you to value your own lives. All she saw in you was her past self and she didn’t want someone else to go through what she did. You place your hand on her cheek. But she continued to whimper in anger. “Makio…” she looked up at you and this time you both stared differently. this was much different then a concern person would look at her friend. You both came close to each other and all of a sudden your lips touched hers. Suma was now shock in jealousy. And hinatsuru just covered her mouth in surprise. You kissed her so passionately you almost opened your mouth for entrance. But you stopped gently and still stared into her eyes. She seemed a bit dazed but completely calmed down from all the yelling she put on you. You finally looked at her with a warm smile “thank you… I didn’t mean to make you worry. That was my fault. But I really care about all of you. And I am a hashira…so please… let me go…” Makio wiped her tears away “just go…but you better live from this cause if you get hurt I’ll slap you even harder…” you chuckled “ok Makio…I’ll do my best…and I won’t let you down” suma was now whinny “No fair! I wanted a kiss from y/n before any of you! That’s no fair Makio!” You heard screaming from afar. It was the citizens of the entertainment district.Hina looked at the girls. “Makio! Suma! You go get survivors out of the district! Y/n! You go on ahead I’ll catch up to assist you!” You blinked twice at Hina’s orders. “hina… I don’t want you to risk your life.” Hina reassured you “it’s like Makio said y/n, we’re your family, and we’re gonna look out for you from now on. So I’m gonna help you.” You smiled “it will be dangerous…that bitch tried chocking me with her obi sash.” Hina smiled back “she tried poisoning me. I guess will see who gets the worst of it now will we?” You chuckled “if I win you owe me a sponge bath at the hot springs” Hina laughed back. And you both were on your way. 

Suma: Waaahhh! I better get a kiss from you next!

part 6 part 7

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #tengen uzui #tengen wives #tengen x reader

[kirklandsheartsecrets]

What would it be like for the brothers if their partner has a dangerous job that they're heavily dedicated to? Like that occult detective one that I came across, Arthur knows she's capable since she's smart and knows how to fight with or without magic. But she's still human and her fights are against supernatural beings, and maybe there was this one incident where she went missing for a month because she banished a monster along with herself because she needed to push it down inside the portal. She came back, but she looked roughed up after spending a whole month in another realm and probably took her time to get home.

UK brothers x reader II reader with a dangerous job II headcanons

England

as you described it, he knows its fine

however he also keeps in mind that you're only human

no matter what abilities you have

death is still possible

overthinker kind

he needs updates

at least 2 a day

so a whole month with no sign ?

The whole government is looking for you

will scold

scold loudly im sorry

doesn't mean he doesn't understand your job

he actually understands it better than anyone

won't tell you to be careful

but will look for a solution for keeping in touch if that happens

quite surprised by the roughed up appearance

doesn't make jokes about it

he is a serious man

also he wants to be involved too

your dedication is his dedication

wales

worried about it on a deeper level

but

acts like a sociopath about it

it's like he choose to be disconnected about this part of your life

knows your'e your own individual

so he doesn't try to change your mind over it

you wanna die ?

OK

next question please

when you come back after this month

he almost ignores you

sociopath about it but also doesn't want to bother you ??

help him

does wonders how you'll die to be honest

Northern ireland

admirative

wants to be involved so bad

but does tries to give you other job ideas

you have to travel a lot, in our world but other universes

tries to keep you in the UK

''You know, monsters do exist in the UK, don't you take care of these''

the only monster you'll catch there is kids at the back of the bus

dedicated in your job ?

He is dedicated on trying to keep you home in the morning

does a really great job on it

but you still have to go and often unexpectedly

no life signals for one month

asking england for help

starts worrying deadly after a week

when you come back he is literally crying

will never get used to your dangerous job

needs a lot of reassurance about it

ireland

doesn't take this seriously

but in a dangerous way

do not wait until it's too late for him to realise

so it needs a proper talk just the two of you

supports you anyways in this job you're doing

but wouldn't want to be involved either

immortal but it's too much for him

thinks you're smart so you'll be fine

that's not how it works Sean

sees it as military kind of dangerous

no matter how hard you tried to explain he is taking this too lightly

but he prays for you often

owns many good luck charms of all kinds that he shares to you

when you were gone for a whole month

he wasn't worried

he was just curious

the longer you leave

the more you'll have to tell him

needs a wake up call, coming back roughly after one month isn't enough for him

sadly

scotland

lord above

what the fuck were you thinking

wasn't there another way to push it in the portal ?

You're smarter than this [NAME]

literally the think [NAME] THINK ! Meme

not calm about this whole dangeorus job situation

keeps reminding you your mortal condition

asks if he can do the job for you

you came back to a really angry scotland

you were of course exhausted but this was not what you expected

):<

angry scotland waiting for you everyday at the door

started worrying after 4 days

but that's because he really loves you

he tries to cherish every moment with you

call him selfish but he doesn't want you to die because of this job

even if it was for honor

#uk brothers #hws scotland #hws northern ireland #hws ireland #hws wales #hws england #aph england x reader #aph scotland x reader #aph northern ireland x reader #aph ireland x reader #aph wales x reader #hetalia x reader #hetalia headcanons

[tacobellebandit]

I dumped a lot into the tags on that previous post that I had to delete because I didn't want to put that on the OP, but... I helped take care of my grandma as she got worse. I watched her go from telling us the same story 6 times in one conversation, to opening up a Christmas gift on the eve and then again on the day of with the same reaction because she forgot, to no longer recognizing any one of us aside from my dad, to no longer being able to take care of herself in any way, including washing herself or going to the bathroom.

And there's tragedy in watching your loved one deteriorate like that, but that's not all. It's really fucking hard to take care of them, too. It's physically so hard. I had to lift my grandma into bed multiple times, and she's really heavy! I had to help her bathe and then put on clothes, during which sometimes she would start fighting me. I had to feed her, make sure she drank water, and I had to clean up piss and feces. There were days in a row where I would wake up at 2am to the sound of water running in the bathroom, and spend the next hour cleaning up a flood because she clogged up the sink and it got out into the hall as well. She would yell at the top of her lungs at night, and she would squeeze me really tight or hit me, and once she got hold of one of those pumpkin carving knifes, and when I tried to take it from her, she hit me with the side of it. I didn't get cut, but In easily could have from that. She broke expensive electronics and ruined sentimental gifts that I got from good friends.

I couldn't even get upset with her! Like, it's not her fault, and I have to hold everything together because I have to be kind and responsible for her.

And like, it's exhausting physically and emotionally. It's hard enough to deal with, but I also seriously started resenting her. It's bad enough that I lost my relationship with her (I was very close to her), but the situation ate away at my own cherished feelings towards her as well! It sucks in every way, and all you can do is wait for things to continue getting worse until they either die or get bad enough that you don't have the resources to care for them any longer. It'll never get better, only worse.

#venting bs #it's a lot man #and it's even worse because if i feel resentful towards her or angry (even in private) it feels selfish man! #like i'm a bad person for not being able to handle it #or for not feeling like i love her so much that i'll do everything for her without sometimes wishing i didn't have to

[arielle-reads]

One Year

I should be working right now but instead on this gloomy Monday I'm going to be talking about my year in the Dramione fandom and some of the best things I've read.

I very first stumbled upon a Dramione one shot in 2020 by following elithien on Instagram and after being STUNNED by this piece in particular: https://www.instagram.com/p/B-TF75mgQV5/ I read through all of the SenLithien Dramione Collaboration series and was like damn...this is so hot? And works so well???? Why have I never considered these two before??!?! And then kind of forgot about it and didn't really think about them again until my dear friend @princessofmerchants said something like "Okay we've been utterly consumed by the ACOTAR series the last few months, let me feed you a new addiction!!!!" (lol) Me, loving new bookish addictions said SIGN ME THE HELL UP!

And thus I binged Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing followed shortly by the Rights and Wrongs collection by @lovesbitca8, The World of Wait and Hope by @mightbewriting, and Manacled by @senlinyu. Likeeeee I'm pretty sure I didn't take a breath between any of those and as you can imagine I was In Deep at that point. To further feed the addiction I joined the Room of Requirement discord server which has been SO fun and have consumed anything and everything @etl-echo-audiobooks has been putting out. Trish's live reads on RoR are the best even if I haven't been able to listen in like I used to.

Honestly instead of continuing to ramble I think I'll just throw in a list of some of my favorite fics I've read in the last year, whether they still be WIPs or completed. This is in no way my full list as that would take me WAY TOO LONG and is in no particular order but I think you'll get the gist:

Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love @isthisselfcare

The Gloriana Set and Darkood Wand @thebemoon

The Disappearances of Draco Malfoy by speechwriter

Bending Light and Falling Dark @scullymurphy

How to Win Friends and Influence People @olivieblake

Bring Him to His Knees @willhavetheirtrinkets

Every single thing by @lazytuesdaymorning (even if most are other ships I don't even care I'm still including since there's one DHr!!!! But seriously go run to read the rest)

I'm just tagging @raven-m-3 because SHE IS A FUCKING GIFT TO THE FANDOM and I love her BDD, naturally

Measure of a Man @inadaze22

Contradictions @ambpersand

The Fallout by everythursday

The Politician's Wife by pir8fancier

Apple Pies and Other Amends by ToEatAPeach

Timesless by @alexandra-emerson

The Memory of You @potionchemist

Love and Other Historical Accidents @pacific-rimbaud

The To-Do List by emilyinwonderland

Carpathian by @niffizzle

Until the Ink Runs Dry by acciomjolnir

AND HONESTLY THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. I'm actually really impressed I remembered to list that many, tbh. Each of these people are such a gift, giving us these things for free and I will cherish them always. And that's not even to mention all of the artists that are out there every day creating SUCH good content. I legit made a separate booksta so that I could share all of the steamy art without my family judging me for it, lol. All this to say, I love Dramione. I will be reading Dramione until I die. Forever and always I will argue that they were meant to be with anyone who dares try to cross me. I can't wait to see what this next year brings me in regards to new fics and someday if I ever get the time, I would LOVE to learn to bind some of them.

#dramione #dramione fanfiction

[rin-itoshi]

mc’s departure | obey me

summary: how the brothers would react to MC returning to the human world after a year in the devildom

contains: fluff , angst , ?!!!!&;@;&:idk

♯ LUCIFER

he’s the one to see you off, reminding you of the many things he had taught you so that you’d never forget.

his pride is much too large to admit that he will miss you to death and that he loves you dearly.

after you’re gone, he’s gone for hours at a time, holed up in his room with as much as work as he can take on.

he overworks himself with the intention of getting rid of the heavy emotion on his heart.

everything reminds you of him, even the paper clip on his desk that you had once found under his bed.

he gets easily irritable, feeling rather empty now that you’ve gone and left him alone in this now quiet house.

barely leaves his room, only works.

never cries but gets quite emotional when he finds a belonging you left behind.

♯ MAMMON

he cried every single night up until your departure but never showed you that side of him once

after you left, he cried non-stop, not caring if he looked like a cry baby in front of his brother’s who watched him with pitiful eyes.

once his eyes dried up, he soon never returned home as he partied all day and night.

he forced himself to attend parties after parties in order to forget about you.

it never works because everything reminds him of you.

sometimes he sits in his car and just stares into space, wondering what you’re doing now that you’re back on earth.

literally cannot stand the mention of you or your name or he may break down.

pretends to be okay but can’t go a day without getting upset about your absence.

money soon becomes pointless when he realizes no amount of cash will bring you back to the house of lamentation.

♯ LEVIATHAN

curled up in his bath tub and cried himself to sleep.

stopped leaving his room in general, continuously playing games all day and night.

couldn’t look at his ruri-chan figures because they somehow reminded him of you and how much you used to admire them with him.

every inch of his room has your touch on it and it makes his heart ache painfully.

struggles to attend online school but manages to make it through the day by zoning out in class.

claims he doesn’t care about a normie like you but genuinely misses you

sends you messages, forgetting you can no longer contact him without your D.D.D

writes about how much he misses you on his blog fully aware you’ll never see it.

♯ SATAN

reading. that’s all he does.

he hides in his room and reads every single book he has stacked up along his room, even rereading them if he finished everything.

uses books to get his mind off of you—or more so the lack of you.

will sometimes get excited about a stray cat he sees but stops himself when he realizes he can’t tell you because you aren’t here.

gets angry. a lot.

the smallest things set him off and he can longer feign a smile when he hears your name or anything related to you.

he misses you so much that he wants to tear out his hair and rip apart all these book page by page.

his room is in shambles and he can’t seem to think straight anymore.

♯ ASMODEUS

loses his interest in everything.

forgets his skin care routine and lets himself go without caring about it.

forces himself to go to parties and tries to sleep with someone to feel better but when it fails, he stops sleeping around in general.

like mammon, he doesn’t come home often to avoid seeing the house he had lived in with you happily.

cannot forget about you no matter what he does, and that frustrates him the most.

wishes he had done something to stop you or at least slept beside you one last time.

neglects himself for a while.

♯ BEELZEBUB

poor bby isn’t hungry for once.

can’t seem to eat now that you’re not sitting beside him, giggling about something he had said.

spends a lot of his time doing weight training and exercising to get his mind off of you.

misses all the meals you used to make on the nights you were in charge of cooking.

sometimes forgets you’re not around whenever he’s about to go downstairs to eat dinner.

clings to belphie in hopes to fill the gap in his heart.

accidentally broke down your room door in an angry fit when your absence finally set in.

♯ BELPHEGOR

either he sleeps even more or somehow gets less sleep.

no matter what, he feels sluggish and blank.

locks himself in the attic, almost as if he was never released in the first place.

even though he hated humans, your absence affected him the most after he had grown to love you as a human.

nearly went demon mode on diavolo when he found out that you were being sent back to the human world.

partially wishes he never met you but cherishes his memories with you too much to ever wish for that wholeheartedly.

sleeps in your bed often to hold onto your lingering scent that was fading quickly.

complains to beel that you were nothing but a stupid human who turns their backs on demons like them, but he never means anything he says.

“Why is it so quiet in here?” Diavolo asks as he opens the front door of the House of Lamentation with Barbatos at his side. The man’s golden eyes scanned the entry hall, noticing how it was so eerily dark and quiet that it almost felt like something out of a horror movie. It felt like no one had lived here in over two thousand years. “Hello?”

Upon receiving message from Diavolo, everyone had exited their rooms for the first time in a while, looking like they were dragged through the mud. The state they were in made Diavolo jump with surprise, shocked to find that even Lucifer looked like he was ill. “What happened to you guys?!”

“What is it that you need, Lord Diavolo?” Lucifer asked as he ran a hand through his hair to compose himself a bit in front of the red haired man. “If is nothing important, may I kindly ask you to leave and return another time?”

Diavolo sighed, shaking his head lightly as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know what’s up with you guys, but I brought everyone’s favorite person along with me so sing your praises now!”

Mammon huffed, “If ya’ talking about that butler of yours, ain’t nobody care right now! We got bigger things to worry about!”

Barbatos simply smiled, taking no offense to the sly insult thrown his way.

Diavolo cocked a brow in confusion. “What? Of course not! It’s-“

The person stepped out from behind Diavolo, catching the attention of every single male in the room. The seven brother’s choked, staring at the one person they had longed for these past few days.

“[y/n]!” They shouted in unison, practically flying down the stairs to get to you. Mammon was the first to reach you, wrapping his arms around your entire body as he tackled you to the floor. The other brother’s climbed on top of you two, hugging you so tightly that you feared this would be where you’d die. “You’re back!”

Diavolo chuckled boisterously. “This is amusing! You lot are acting like you didn’t know they’d return today!” His laugh came to an abrupt stop when he saw the flat expressions coming from each and every brother. “Oh- Did I not inform you?”

“Obviously you didn’t.” Belphegor scoffed with a roll of the eyes, burying his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent. “[y/n]...”

“Ya can’t ever leave again! I’ll seriously get angry at ya if this happens again! Ya either go to the human world with me or ya don’t go at all!” Mammon snapped, cupping your cheeks while getting dangerously close to your face to yell at you.

“I’ll severely punish you if you ever leave this manor without giving me a heads up as to where you’re off to. You’re not just an exchange student anymore. You’re special.” Lucifer explained, a panicked glint in his tired eyes as he reached out to pat your head gently with his gloved hand.

Satan sighed, pressing his forehead against your back. “If you leave again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control my emotions, so don’t leave.”

The avatar of lust whined loudly, “my beautiful self can’t handle a life without you! Don’t ever go anywhere without me again!” He clutched onto her waist tightly.

“Don’t... Don’t go anywhere.” Leviathan said with a sad frown on his lips as he held your hand, bringing it up to rest against his cheek. “It’s so empty without you.”

“Let’s eat dinner together, [y/n].” Beel suggested, his voice full of emotions as he drooled at the thought of dinner with you.

A million emotions ran through your veins as you sat there, basking in the warmth of their touch. It was overwhelming to receive so much love all at once but it was amazing.

A smile slowly crept onto your lips as you leaned into their touch, enjoying the way they clung to you as if you’d disappear any moment now. “I missed you guys, too.”

“What a lovely reunion!” Diavolo exclaimed happily, snapping a view blurry photos on his D.D.D to send to the group chat later.

After the heartfelt moment, they quickly disappeared upstairs to fix up their appearance before rushing downstairs to the kitchen where you stood. They clung to you like bugs to a light, hounding you about your sudden departure, only to find out that you had gone up there with Diavolo and Barbatos to help the man experience human world activities he had never gotten to try before. Diavolo was sure he had told them that but seeing as they were genuinely distressed, he assumed the message never reached.

Even though they were beyond pissed with Diavolo and his carelessness, they were just glad you were back. Them being here with you really was their idea of a perfect life.

a/n: UH YEA K GOODNIGHT

#beel x reader #Lucifer x reader #leviathan x reader #leviathan #Lucifer #beelzebub #belphegor #asmodeus #satan #mammon #obey me #mammon x reader #asmo x reader #belphie x reader #satan x reader #obey me fluff #obey me shall we date #HEADCANONS #obeyme HEADCANONS #obey me x reader

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Falling II (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: part two of the hanahaki AU. Ive really been struggling getting back into writing, it took me nearly 6 months to get out this two parter and i'm genuinely sorry for that. Essentially in this kakashi finds out about ur hanahaki disease and you struggle with a tough decision to make.

Word count: 5500

____

Y/N and her team arrived home once again, but not without difficulties. Of course, she was one of the Hokage's most trusted shinobi and could complete any mission successfully, that didn't mean her team hadn't had their ass kicked a couple times along the way. Normally a mission as easy as this one would have been a breeze, if not for the sickness plaguing her.

She'd seen it all. Poisons of all kinds on every weapon imaginable, people from every nation with all types of chakra nature, bugs and wildlife you wouldn't imagine. The problem recently was this pain in her chest, it held her back from doing her job properly.

"Y/N, if you're getting too old to do this kind of thing, you can always advise Kakashi," Shikamaru would tell her offhandedly when she'd collapse after each battle, coughing and gasping for breath. He didn't understand what was wrong with her, didn't need to. Something was seriously fucked up and she needed help. He told her to see a medical nin, but she always refused.

She would never go to the hospital, not for Gai or Shikamaru, or anyone else that expressed their concerns. She was fine the way she was, and if it got worse then so be it. She would soldier on until the very moment she couldn't muster the strength anymore.

Perhaps that was out of fear, that or pride, the woman didn't know. It didn't matter anyway. Chances are she was going to die. All she wanted to do was cherish the time she had left, going on missions and seeing her friends.

Her team walked her through the gates before going their separate ways. She was the leader so she would report their findings to Kakashi for the day. They were probably hungry and tired after such a tedious journey, so she was happy to see them off to take care of themselves. She adjusted the bag on her shoulder and took a deep breath, feeling the wood restrict her chest from inflating with air as she waved them goodbye with a strained smile.

With a shaky breath, she made her way up to the Hokage tower, passing by the guards and each doorway. She didn't need permission to enter, even at this late hour. Normally a shinobi might wait until morning to report on their mission when the Hokage was ready for guests, despite him staying up a lot of nights working anyway. Whenever he was there, she was welcome as well.

Not that the woman wanted to visit him like that anymore. He was far too busy to listen to her stories, or hear her complain about one thing or another. She stayed at home alone, imagining the days when he would sit down with her after missions and get barbeque, on her of course, that cheapskate. Maybe she could have made an effort to find time to be together outside of work, but she felt guilty. It was selfish to take him away from the village when she felt like being needy.

He had plenty of friends anyway. What made her so special? What made it okay for her to just waltz into the room and visit him, even if he was drowning in work? God, she just felt so pathetic as her eyes rose up the door and she did her best to compose herself. Straighten her back and pinch her cheeks in an attempt to bring some healthy color to her face

Deep breaths.

"Kakashi?" she rasped, knocking on the office door which was only slightly ajar. Her voice was hoarse after walking up all those stairs, a feeling similar to collapse creeping up to her. She was just so tired, with the pain bearing heavy on her entire form. Her hand went to grab at the wooden doorframe, supporting herself as she waited for a reply.

"Y/N?” he asked from within the depths of the Hokage’s office, littered high with boxes of paperwork and reports. “What’s wrong?”

Cough.

"I-I'm okay. I came to give you the reports from the last mission. We just got back," she told him, taking a step inside the room and softly shutting the door behind her. He was relaxed behind his desk, swallowed by paperwork but still just chilling in his big Hokage chair. The lights of Konoha's nightlife sparkled behind him through the round window, and she admired the way they lit up his concerned eyes.

He really was the most beautiful man, even after all this time. Especially with the light highlighting the sharpness of his jaw and the boldness of his eyes. She watched as he turned his head, undeniably soft hair bounced utop his head, something she found quite charming. Her heart raced at the thought, and she had to fight down the heat rushing up her neck. Her chest ached as the seconds flew by, but she didn’t think it was serious enough to warrant leaving. Not yet.

Wheeze.

The harder she tried to take in a full deep breath, the more she began to crumble.

"No, something is wrong," he shook his head and pressed on, "Something has been wrong for months now. You're sick."

She felt her cheeks begin to heat up under his interrogation. He was right, and she should have known he was going to mention it sooner or later. Surely he'd noticed a long time ago, but he kept his mouth shut out of respect for her. She replied back shortly, "I just have allergies. It's nothing serious."

He dismissed her quickly, waving his hand at the mere thought of it just being allergies. He had allergies, everyone has allergies. These weren't it, and if they were, Tsunade would have fixed her up with a prescription years ago. "Cut the act. I know you."

What was she to say? She felt at a loss for words. It wasn't like she could just explain her bouts of hanahaki. He wouldn't understand, and he would no doubt push her to make a decision once he knew the severity of the situation. If only she could pretend to be normal just until she was done with this meeting. If only he would give up and stop pestering her, maybe everything would be okay.

But that’s not how things work.

"Just leave it alone. We have mission reports to go over."

He was tempted to do just that and leave her alone about the entire thing, since she seemed to want to be difficult about it. But how could he when she was sicklier every day, and he could see the way she yearned for a full deep breath. It had been a few months now, and it was getting exponentially worse with each week that passed.

He was worried. So worried, he thought he might escort her to the hospital himself with all the power he possessed.

"Y/N, you can tell me anything, you know that? If you need to talk-"

Wheeze. She hated that he cared so much. It made everything so much harder.

"Kakashi, please," she coughed out, pressing a hand to her chest in an attempt to appease these pains she was feeling. Unsurprisingly, nothing helped. She let her bag drop from her shoulder to the ground as her arms and knees struggled to hold the weight. "Oh god, not now."

"What's happening?" The hokage questioned and he moved from his seat, rushing toward her in an attempt to break her fall. He narrowly missed as her knees hit the floor with a painful thud.

She hunched over as shockwaves of torment climbed through her chest, into her lungs, throat, and mouth. Blood rose to her tongue and she spat that out onto the floor, staining the carpet red. The bitter metallic taste only agitated her nausea, stomach turning so strongly her head began to spin.

This was bad. This was really truly bad. There was nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. He had triggered an attack and now she was trapped in his presence.

The facade as she knew it was falling apart.

She coughed harshly toward the ground, saliva and blood dripping from her lips, staining the carpet. Tears welled up in her eyes and she sobbed through the pains. More coughing ensued and she tried to swallow back the contents, she really did. It worked at first, the rotten petals being swallowed into her stomach.

"We need to get you to Sakura right away," her friend demanded, the panic obvious in his voice. He stared down at her like she had two heads, scared to death of what was happening. He didn't know the extent of her suffering, what she must have been hiding from him. If this is what she was going through on a regular basis due to his negligence...he couldn’t forgive himself.

He went to pick her up from the ground, cradle her to his chest and run her to the infirmary for help, just as he had before when she was broken, only this time instead of embracing his kindness, Y/N used the last of her strength to shove him away. He sat back beside her and felt his hands itching to do something, to rescue her from this pain. "Don't be stupid, Y/N. We have to go."

"No. Sakura can't help. No one can help," the woman moaned between coughs. She longed to feel his touch, for him to carry her off to the hospital and hold her close to his chest like that. Like the moment she found herself beginning to fall in love with him. It would only cause the attack to grow worse though. Every move he made and second he spent caring for her would bring about these issues. "Just sit with me until it's over."

He wasn't convinced. How could he be? She was coughing up blood right in front of him. Was he supposed to take that lightly? Still, he found himself sinking to his knees beside his friend, waiting with a blunt absence of much patience if any at all..

The flowers started shortly after. Red and pink petals coming out in dense bunches, coated in blood and saliva from the tears along her throat. She watched as they fell to the floor within his gaze. He made no sound but she knew he was shocked from the way his entire body tensed at her side.

Thankfully, it was almost over, the finale just at the back of her throat.

A rose stem finally poked up and hit the roof of her mouth. With a tentative touch, the woman reached her fingers in, pinching the wooden stick and slowly pulling out the thorny branch complete with a bright red rose on the end. She gagged as it came up, fear of vomit coming with it. Miserably, Y/N held the branch out in front of her and cried harder as she felt the fit finally subside, allowing air into her lungs again.

"Y/N…"

She couldn't stop herself from crying now, snot dripping from her nose and tears from the chin. How embarrassing that he was to see her like this. It was all supposed to be a secret, and he was the one real person she was desperately trying to keep it from. So far she'd dodged him anytime she felt the attacks coming up. Hiding in storefronts and launching herself into bushes just to avoid this entire situation.

"How long has this been going on?! Why did you keep this from me?" He asked, anger rising up in his throat through a thick veil of confusion. Despite being a calm and collected person, he cared deeply for a childhood friend, as anyone would. He could feel his heart pumping in his chest, faster and faster the longer he thought about her predicament.

Y/N was dying. Not just sick, but dying. Gone forever in the blink of an eye. The tale was as old as time, a tragic romance full of angst and hurt and pain and loss. Jiraiya even wrote a novel about the disease, as much as it seemed like a work of creative genius, the harsh reality of it all slapped him in the face. This entire time, while he was in his office dozing off and signing papers mindlessly, he had been watching her slowly march toward her grave and hadn't even known.

He felt ashamed. He felt angry. Burning up inside at himself for being so ignorant. For letting himself get caught up so deeply in his own world that he couldn’t see something so heartbreaking happening right in front of him. He was so tired, they all were, but that was no excuse.

She couldn't look at him. Not now. Preferably, never again. Instead she turned away from him and shut her eyes, imagining what expressions might be running across his features. She pleaded softly, barely loud enough for him to hear amongst her harsh breaths and cries.

"Please don't."

"Don't what? Worry about you? Want to know what's happening? Why you have Hanahaki and haven't seen Tsunade yet?"

She shivered. He cared. So much. It felt wrong, so guilty and malicious, to keep such important secrets from him. "I can't, Kakashi. You wouldn't understand."

Maybe he couldn't understand, that was a good possibility, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try and empathize. They were best friends. At least, he would consider them so. It stung to know she hadn’t confided in him. Did she really mistrust him so strongly that she hid this from him? He scolded himself. Of course she wasn’t coming to him with all her problems, he was Hokage. They weren’t soldiers hiding out in each other’s rooms at night, gossiping about this and that. He was her boss, a busy, burdened man. She was a soldier, never home and living off food pills.

He pressed his hands firmly over his eyes and groaned. He wanted to be a hero, protecting her just as he did before his promotion. Now, he felt weak, pathetically stupid watching her crumbling as blood and spit dribbled down her chin.

"Why not? I understand that if you let this get any worse you'll die. Is that not enough?"

A surge of courage ran through her as she lifted her eyes to meet his. They were dim, burdened and exhausted. It had been a long time since she’d seen him look so defeated, and this time it was completely her doing. Y/N grimaced and looked back at the flowers on the carpet.

Her words hit him clear in the chest as she whispered, "I'm just afraid. I'm scared, Kashi. It hurts so much."

"Why don't you do something about it?"

"Because I can't confess to him, but at the same time, I can't lose him forever. I just can't," she sighed, "I need him."

"This man...Y/N, he can't be worth more than your entire life. Be rational."

She smiled bitterly and shook her head. "That's what you won't understand. To me, he is worth dying for. That has been true even before all this mess. Even before this sickly love that cursed me. I’d give up everything, even my life, just to love him until the end of my time here.” She sighed, swiping away a stray tear in her eye. “I never knew love could be like this. I loved my parents, my friends, boyfriends and crushes, but nothing can compare to how I feel now.”

Kakashi flicked his eyes up to the ceiling and held his breath. His chest was tight at her words, sickness rolling over him. He wanted to press his hands over his ears and ignore her, drown out the thought of her intense love for someone other than him. It was wrong to be jealous, to be so expectant that she was going to fall in love with him when he put in such little effort to sweep her off her feet. He had no right to be upset.

Yet he was. He wanted to cry. His best friend and the love of his life was going to die because she was in love. With someone else.

Fuck.

“Have you ever known a love like that, Kakashi?”

“I can’t say I have.”

Only, that was a lie.

He couldn't imagine a man that would be so high and mighty she might die for him, give up everything she ever had just to keep him in her heart until her last painful moments. He wanted to yell at her, scold her for being so stupid and reckless.

Yet, he knew love was hard to comprehend. It took him years to come to terms with his own feelings, and even now he felt himself stumbling down the wrong path. He understood what she was going through to an extent, and it only made him feel worse. Maybe that's why he was so desperate to know, to change her mind.

"Who is it?" Kakashi asked finally, after a moment of contemplation.

"You know it's not that simple."

"It really is though. You used to tell me everything."

"It’s just not the same anymore,” she confessed, and he felt his heart crack into more tiny pieces. Was what they had before gone? Did he ruin everything? “I hid this from you for a reason. I didn’t want to bother you with something so intense. You have so much work to do, and I can handle myself-"

“You can’t just handle something like this! You need help.” He groaned inwardly. It would be just his luck that the woman of his affections not only was desperately and hopelessly in love with another man, but she refused to communicate. Why wouldn't she just listen to him? The answer was right there. She even had two options to choose from. "Just tell the man and get it over with. If he rejects you, then you would be better off without him anyway."

"Ignorance is bliss. I'd rather die than feel the heartbreak knowing he never loved me and then live the rest of my life with a missing piece from my heart. I’d be half the person I am today without him."

Fucking stupid, he thought. Poetic bullshit. He clenched his fists at his sides in an attempt to release the tension that was building up in his muscles. His heart pounded in his chest as he felt the blood pressure rise in his veins. His gaze couldn't help but flicker toward the bunches of hydrangeas and the rose stem on his office floor, pools of blood sunken into the carpet. The thought of her enduring this pain for so long, all alone. He was fucking sick.

"Please, you have to do something. At least see Tsunade."

"I'll go see her, but I doubt much will come of it."

"Thank you," he mumbled, "A little peace of mind knowing the best medical nin in the world is monitoring you."

She nodded, her eyes trailing up to meet his face once again. He looked positively heartbroken, and for a moment, she was tempted to confess it all to him. To leap into the unknown and see what happened.

But she was never one to take risks.

Soft words fell from her lips, nothing else to say but a bitter apology.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi."

"I'm sorry, too."

______

Y/N kept up with her promise, visiting Tsunade in the hospital upon special request. Normally, the woman would refuse an appointment in her retirement, but this was upon recommendation from the Hokage so she found it quite difficult to refuse. He wasn’t the type to make a fuss of anything, after all. It would have been just as easy to see Sakura, but the Hokage and his Hanahaki kunoichi doubted the young girl would have any clue about the ancient disease.

As she sat in the waiting room, she anticipated the worst to come. Tsunade's judgement. A terrible diagnosis. Even worse treatment options. She wished that just maybe the old woman had a way to fix it all without taking away her memories. It was a baseless dream, but she could hope.

"L/N, come in," the medical nin voice called from down the hall and shakily she stood from the chair. Her knees felt weak and her head was spinning with thoughts. She tried to smile at the woman as she entered the room, but instead an ugly, awkward grimace came out.

"I'm not one to make assumptions, Y/N. I'm here to help you," she drawled, her eyes running slowly up and down the younger woman, examining, "But with the way Kakashi demanded I see you immediately, well, you can see why I might be coming to some wild conclusions."

"It's really not what you would think." Her breathy words were hoarse, and she cleared her throat in her hand to make it easier. "It's in my chest. It's um-" How could she explain this properly without sounding silly or dramatic. "Maybe you should just check it out for yourself."

"Take a seat."

Her hands hovered an inch or so above Y/N's chest, a green light emanating from her palms. It only took a moment, a long moment of silence and concentrating before her eyes widened. She leaned in closer, as if to check again, just in case she sensed something incorrectly.

"There's something in there. It's...it's alive."

Y/N coughed into her sleeve, not quite at the beginning of a fit of hacking but enough to hurt and sting her throat. When she lowered her arm, the unmistakable sight of blood stained the fabric. Something stuck to the back of her throat, and she felt herself beginning to gag. Carefully, she reached into her mouth and grasped the loose object lodged there. A rose bud, pink but slick with crimson blood.

She displayed the flower for her elder to see, and Tsunade sucked in a tight breath.

"I've never seen this before, not in all my life, Y/N. I've heard rumors of it happening in small villages but I didn't think-"

She rasped, "It was real? Yeah, me neither."

"How long?"

"About four months now."

"How could you wait this long? I've never heard of someone lasting more than six months without treatment!" She exclaimed, taking a step back. "It's probably done irreversible damage to your lungs."

She sighed, "I know."

Tsunade turned her back to the girl and walked to the cabinet, pulling a tube and syringe from the drawer. "I need to take your blood, and we will have to schedule extensive scans and tests for later. I-I just can't believe you of all kunoichi would disregard your health like this," she scolded, working to tie a tourniquet around the young woman's arm. "And to think we considered you as the sixth Hokage. Unbelievable."

Wow, that was a low blow, but she rightfully deserved it.

Y/N knew what she had done was wrong and stupid, but she hadn't changed her mind on what she wanted to do. She would let Tsunade do her testing, get some information and research done for healing others in the future, but she would refuse treatment. She hadn't given up on her stance.

She didn't even flinch as the needle pierced her vein and blood was pulled through. "I'm going to die soon, Tsunade."

"Don't be so dramatic. We have a cure-"

"Not an option."

She raised a brow, peering up at the woman for a second from her handywork. "Not an option?! Don't be fucking stupid."

"I don't want it," she repeated herself firmly, despite the weakness in her voice, "We all know the tales. The terrible things that happen to a person's emotions and memories during the treatment. I just can't go through with it."

"Well, you do know quite a few people are going to have a problem with that, don't you?" A couple people came to mind, including the obvious ones like Kakashi and Shizune and her team, even if they'd grown independent of her by now. Her chest burned at the thought, and another cough ran through her.

"Doesn't matter. I don't want a life without my memories. They are a part of me. He is a part of me."

Tsunade tucked the vial of blood in her coat pocket and exhaled. In the stories, it was common for people with Hanahaki to react this way, to pick this option. It was cruel, but that is what love does. She could understand the inherent need to stay close to her lover, after all, the medical nin had lost the greatest loves of her entire life over the years and suffered every bit afterwards.

Certainly, she could understand the fear Y/N held in her heart. But letting herself die over it? It was tough to just watch that happen, yet she couldn't make the decision for her.

"It's him, isn't it?"

"Depends on who you mean."

"Don't play me for an idiot. It's Kakashi Hatake. It's been obvious since I became Hokage, you fool. Why do you think I assigned you so many missions together?" Y/N only ducked her head, and the medical nin took that as confirmation of her suspicions. She rolled her eyes at the obvious nature of the entire thing. This really was foolish, just like this young woman. "You need to tell him."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

She confessed, "I'm scared. What if he doesn't reciprocate? Wouldn't I be a dummy then? Going through all of this suffering for nothing?"

“Is your life worth nothing to you?”

“It is, but I just can’t lose him, not when I have the choice,” Y/N told her elder with a deep sigh. “I’d like to die happy. I’d like to die with Kakashi at my side. Even if he only cares for me as a friend, I can still pretend with my last dying breaths that he loved me the same way I loved him.”

“And if he does love you?”

“He doesn’t.”

“You have no idea-”

“Kakashi will never love me in that way. There’s no point, and you can’t change my mind.”

“Fine, choose to live the rest of your life in agony because of your cowardice,” the blond put bluntly, turning her back to her patient. “But just know, whether Kakashi loves you romantically or not, he will miss you when you die. He will mourn your loss like no other. He will cry for nights on end and he will beg whatever fucking diety there is out there to bring you back to him.”

“Tsunade-”

“Trust me, you will never forget this kind of loss. It sticks with you, it haunts you, it makes you consider terrible, awful things just for a chance to see them again. Kakashi can’t lose someone else, Y/N,” she said, her head turned downward. “For fuck’s sake, girl, don’t be so selfish.”

With that, the woman left the room and shut the door harshly behind her. Y/N fell back on the patient’s table and shut her eyes, feeling tears brim the edges of her eyes. Was Tsunade right? Would Kakashi really react that way? She couldn’t possibly imagine him crying himself to sleep over someone as simple as her.

But after hearing such intense words, she wondered if maybe it was better to confess after all. Just to save her friend from a world of heartbreak. The decision would be hard to make, but she had time left. She still had so much time to make up her mind.

____

It was nearing the end, with the branches wrapping around her ribs and threatening to penetrate her organs. Y/N could tell that it was almost time to say goodbye, and each night as she lay in the hospital bed staring out the window, she cried. She didn't know if she was doing the right thing, letting herself die. Her friends begged her to do something about it, to save herself but she just couldn't. No matter how many long nights she spent contemplating everything, she couldn’t go through with the surgery.

The thought of that void in her heart forgetting Kakashi would make...it was too painful. Yes, she was terrified, and the pain meds they gave her could only do so much. She was in agony, and would be until her last moments. Kakashi sat at her side, book in hand but his eyes rarely went to scan the pages. Instead he watched her silently. Bravely. He couldn’t cry. He couldn’t let her know how terrible he was feeling inside and make the whole experience worse for her. It was different dying on the battlefield, so quick you don’t know what’s happening to you until it’s already done.

Unlike now.

The researchers would come into the room every now and then to take notes on her condition, and the doctors would run through to make sure she was comfortable with what pain medication they had. Everything still hurt though, just not as bad as it had been before. She had a living, growing bush of roses in her chest. No amount of morphine could dull that ache.

“Do you think Gai will stop by again tonight?” she asked, feeling her heart beginning to race just at the thought of that loud mouthed, energetic fool coming to see her. While he could not match the somber atmosphere completely, he did try. “And Shizune?”

“I’m not sure.”

She turned her head to the side and coughed aggressively, blood splattering on the clean bed linens. She cleared her throat, spitting up the twigs that got stuck in her teeth. “Please, tonight, I need you to gather everyone. My old teammates, Gai, Naruto, Shizune. Bring them to me one last time.”

One last time? No. He shook his head. That couldn’t be right. She had more time left.

He reached over to gently cradle her cheek in his palm. She shivered at the feeling of his calloused fingertips against her neck, and at the intimate touch she couldn't help but start having a fit. Her lungs seemed to be giving up on her as she coughed up flower after flower, littering her lap with sticky wet flora.

He still held her through it all. After all, he'd come every day and seen her at her worst. He might not be her lover, but she trusted him enough to hold her as she died so agonizingly slow. He had duties as Hokage, yes, but he would spend his days rushing work just to spend all night with her. The bags under his eyes darkened with each near sleepless night.

He cursed the man who caused this disturbing illness. He hadn't even had the decency to visit her this entire time. After a month in the hospital, Kakashi asked for her visitor logs to see if there was some clue as to who was doing this to her. Only a few men around her age had visited: Gai, Genma, and Kakashi himself. It was hard to believe she'd developed romantic feelings for either of the other two men. She just never seemed close enough to them.

Maybe he was just dimwitted and hadn't noticed her attachment to someone else. Maybe it was Genma, who knows. She wasn't confessing to anyone. At this point, if he could get her to confess her undying love to even Orochimaru and see her live another day, he’d be content.

When she was done coughing, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and groaned, leaning her head further into his touch. It provided comfort, enough to ease the pain even a fraction. Her chest struggled to expand now, being full of thick restricting branches.

"Kakashi, I don't think I can do this much longer," she wheezed.

"I know."

Maybe it was because her death wasn't sudden, that he had time to prepare for it, but he didn't feel tears in his eyes nor did he have a knot in his throat. He simply felt hopeless. He would lose another person he loved, viciously continuing an endless cycle of loss.

God, he loved her. For as long as he could remember, he had his eyes on her. Perhaps not always in the romantic sense, but he wanted her companionship. It wasn't until he started having daily nightmares about her brutal death, whether it be by enemy or his own hand that he knew he was in too deep. He cared too much, and his desire to protect her interfered in his life. To make sure not a single bad thing ever happened to her again, it burdened him in his work and personal life. Ever since the abduction all those years ago, he realized he loved her, that he needed her to live until they grew old and bickered with each other in the retirement home. He had so many wants, so many fever dreams of a happy ending that would never come true.

It broke his heart.

"Are you sure you don't want the treatment? It's not too late," he pleaded, even though he knew the answer.

"I've accepted what's about to happen. You have too, haven't you?" she tried to smile, “You were always the most mature out of all of us, you know.”

Not really. He would consider it anyone but him. Kurenai was a mother with a wise soul. Y/N was a strong warrior who didn’t like to play games. Gai was a gymnast who never stopped grinding once in his entire life. Kakashi compared to them was just a silly man stuck in the past, reading his romance novels and posing as a leader.

"Please, change your mind," he tried once again, but she just ignored him, looking off into the room mindlessly. He felt his shoulders tense, and he tried to quell the anger that was bubbling in his stomach. He found himself spilling his thoughts faster than he could filter them out. “Look at me for once. Y/N. Just look me in the eyes and tell me you want to die. That is what you really want?”

She bit back a few tears as she turned her head and met his eyes. Her lips opened to say something, but she quickly shut them and turned her eyes away. She wasn’t suicidal. She wanted so badly to live, more than anything else in the world she wanted to live her full life with her family.

He nodded, confirming what he already thought.

He groaned, "Fuck, I'm tired of pretending this is okay. That you dying for some loser is something I'm okay with."

"Kakashi-"

"No, you need to think about me for once. Me, alright? Have you ever considered my feelings for one second?" She pulled her head away from his hand and turned away, shame masking her eyes. Honestly, she hadn't even thought about him as a friend. All this time, she only considered him a possible lover. Even after her conversation with Tsunade, she still only considered her own feelings. “I’ve spent years putting you on this pedestal. I’ve protected you the best I could from rogue ninja, terrorists, fuck, even resurrected Uchiha freaks. It feels like my entire life has revolved around you, and now you do this to me? You take away a piece of my heart so easily?”

She sniffled, lifting her hand to rub her eyes of any stray tears. “I don’t know what to say.”

"Exactly. You are selfish," he said. He shut his eyes for a moment to take a breath. "Will you consider what I have to say?"

"I'll try."

"I have been thinking a lot lately about this entire thing and it's all been so simple this entire time,” he muttered, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling for a moment as he worded his next statement. “We can be a family, Y/N. You and I. I know it might seem strange, the thought of coming home to my dumbass and a bunch of talking dogs, but I promise you, I’ll do whatever I can to make you happy." The man reached out and took her hand in his. Her mouth felt dry as she processed his words, confusion and denial running thick in her mind. "If you get this treatment and you survive...maybe you can try loving me, because I can't give up on you."

"Kakashi, that's not how this works."

"Why not? Why can't we have a happy ending?"

“I-I don’t know.”

“Just be happy with me,” he pressed, squeezing her hand tightly in his. “I’d do anything for you, I’m just asking you to do one thing. Why can’t you just forget about that other bastard?”

She felt herself brimming over with emotion. A knife could cut through the tension in the hospital room and she felt the tears gather in the corners of her eyes. She squeezed them shut as the truth finally broke free. "Because you're the reason this is happening to me. You caused this, and if you don't love me right here and right now as we are, I can never get better."

"You’re telling me-" he paused, a deep and tired groan leaving his lips. "Love you?! Of course I love you! What do you think all this was about? Why do you think I've been here every night mourning for you?” He questioned, standing from his seat and taking a step back. He ran a heavy hand through his hair as his eyes wandered the room. A strange mix of relief and frustration ran cold through his body as he thought about the mess they were in. “This whole time, I thought you knew. I thought you were in love with some other man and letting me down easy," he told her.

The next breath she took was suddenly a lot easier.

"Oh."

She leaned back in the bed, letting her empty head hit the pillows. All this pain, all this worrying, for nothing. She felt like the biggest idiot in the world. A huge coward for keeping this to herself when it could have been resolved months ago, when the first petal rose up in her throat. Yet, how was she supposed to know? He was a nice guy, she just assumed he acted similarly with everyone.

“I just wish you would have said something to me. Any hint at how you felt. All this suffering was for nothing,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Despite being elated that the woman of his dreams was in fact in love with him all this time, he was exasperated and tired. The emotional turmoil everyone was going through because of this foolish relationship was embarrassing now that everything was seemingly resolved.

“I’m sorry, Kakashi. I don’t know what to say. I was just too afraid of rejection. I was so scared because I knew I was dying, but the thought of losing you, Kakashi, I couldn’t stand it. I would rather die than lose those feelings,” Y/N explained. Her hands quivered in her lap as she confessed such deeply emotional thoughts to him, things she had kept buried inside her for months now. “I’ve spent years not acknowledging it. I only realized after you stood there waiting for me in that terrible storm on the day I nearly lost my life how much you meant to me. You were the home I wanted to come back to.”

He could only stare at her weakly, his lips turned down in a pitiful wince. They really were a pathetic bunch, dancing around their feelings for so long it led to something so disastrous as this. He hadn’t confided in a single person his feelings for the woman. He was a private person. He just wondered if maybe he had told someone, maybe if he confessed to her all those years ago when he fell in love for the first time, things would be different.

“I was serious when I said we could be a family. I know it’s not much, and I know I’m busy with work most days, but I would like to try,” he said. “I can take care of you, Y/N, for the rest of our lives. All I’ve ever wanted was to take care of you, to wrap you up and protect you from this awful world. I’m just so disappointed I was the one that put you in this position.”

“It’s okay now.” Her hand reached out to grab ahold of his, hanging limply at his side. She gave it a light squeeze, still absent of the majority of her strength, although it was slowly beginning to sink back in. “I’m excited to see what you and I become. Kakashi, you truly are the love of my life."

"The feeling is mutual. I guess it always has been, huh?"

She nodded, letting her soft lips curl into a weak smile just for him, just for this moment they shared together.

“I’m going to get a nurse and tell them what happened. They probably want to check on you.”

With a nod from her end, he walked out the room and into the hall, waving down one of the many nurses that he’d seen working at her bedside in the past few weeks. Fearing for the worst, she shot him a concerned look as the blood drained quickly from her face, “Lord Hokage, is there something I can help you with?” the young girl asked hesitantly, a bit of a shake in her words.

“Seems things are improving now.”

Her brows softened with sympathy. Their poor Kakashi, holding onto hope that his long time best friend wasn’t going to die. It was heartbreaking to see really. Painfully, she replied, “Improving? That’s impossible, she’s a Hanahaki patient, the only way to-”

“Yes, I know. And like I said, she’s improving now.”

“What do you mean-” It was as if the gears had shifted in her head. Her eyes widened and her cheeks reddened, “Oh my Lord, let me get the CNO.” She stumbled over her words as she started down the hall in the opposite direction. He watched as her lips giddily curled up into a smile. After a moment, he grinned to himself and leaned against the wall, shutting his eyes for just a moment.

Nurses came rushing down the hall almost as quickly as the girl left and rushed in the room, leaving him behind to sink into his thoughts. He had yet to really process the situation but it was finally sinking in now. How much this woman loved him, how much a single person could care about him when he thought he was alone on this earth. He felt a flutter in his stomach.

Maybe life wasn’t so bad after all.

A/N: that's it, guys! Tell me what you think and if you want more Kakashi content in the future! Have a wonderful day!

#kakashi x reader #kakashi hatake #kakashi oneshot #kakashi hatake x reader #naruto x reader #naruto oneshot #naruto fanfic #x reader #oneshot #naruto #naruto scenario #kakashi scenario #kakashi fanfic #kakashi fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic

[adrikazu]

Oh! Can I request Venti, Kazuha, and Beidou with a s/o who’s constantly giggley and tends to laugh a lot often? Ty!

GIGGLY READER

FEATURING— venti, kazuha, and beidou

GENRE— fluff

NOTES— this is adorable!!! i adore this request so much omg thank youuu

WARNINGS— none!!! all super fluff and fluffy

VENTI

he adores your laughter

he YEARNS to hear it everyday and he does and he’s so happy about it

everytime you let out a tiny giggle he has this huge smile on his face and he squeals

please hug him

if u don’t he’s gonna spin you around laughing, only to produce more laughter and it’s such a cute moment

he loves it!!! he grabs you by the hips

venti purposely does stupid things to make you laugh

when he feels sad about something, he goes over to you and tickles you

he loves tickling you, wether it be your waist, your neck, anywhere

it doesn’t matter whatever he’s doing he wants to hear you laugh !!!

your laugh just makes him fall inlove with you more

sometimes your laughs combine themselves with his, and he thinks it’s a melody to die for

you guys definitely have one of those moments, where you’re not supposed to laugh but both of you burst out cackling

these moments are something he cherishes close to his heart

if you guys get in trouble because of it, he’ll pull you away and make a run for it

every moment you laugh he wants to bring you into a hug

he loves the tingling feeling of feeling you against him giggling

just a whole cute giggly moment with venti

he’d drop everything to have a moment like this anytime of day

you’d think someone would want to reserve these moments so they remain special

to him, no matter how many times it happens, he’s going to be equally as flushed and giddy as the first time

and this goes for everything too

i can envision a scene where he’s gripping you tight,

both of you in the air, the wind carrying you to a view he wants to show you

and your endearing laughs escape your lips and reach his ears, and his face flushe

your laugh can always cheer up a moment

he loves that your giggles can do wonders

KAZUHA

there’s never a moment he doesn’t wanna hear it

he does like the silence, the peace that comes with it

but your laugh is a symbol of peace to him too

he knows he’d like silence sometimes but he would never pass up a moment to make you laugh

kazuha writes haikus about you, and many of them are about your songful voice

if he’s mad, feeling sad, anything like that, it only takes your giggles for his lips to tug upwards

i imagine his love language to be gift giving or words of affirmation

so he’s always finding or making trinkets that remind him of your cute laughs

he also talks about it a lot!! but.. in flower mode

like sometimes no one gets what he’s saying because he’s using super strong and sweet vocab to describe you

but you know he’s saying something nice, the smile and flushing red on his face gives it away

many many times he zones out just thinking of you, and he dug the sound of your laugh into his head

he adores all the levels, quiet giggles youre trying to suppress to the loud obnoxious laughs

beidou makes you laugh a lot

he’s very grateful for it

some nights the crew is having fun, drinking and whatnot but when you laugh—

it ties everything together for him

he really really loves your laugh if you can’t tell <3

kazuha is super vocal about how much he does too

but that’s it you can get through his spider webs of flowery words

BEIDOU

oh my

HELP YOURE GONNA PASS OUT WHAHAAH

she makes you laugh so much that sometimes you run out of air

she’s like s/o!? are you good!? and you’re passing out

in all seriousness, everytime she hears your giggle in any situation she laughs right after

your couple is known for laughing together

especially while drinking

often she convinces you to have a drink, and she laughs even more and if it wasn’t before, it’s definitely contagious now

the crew laughs at the sight of you losing foot and grabbing onto beidou, only to produce more giggles

beidou loves it, she purposely makes you laugh even if it’s not as much as venti

most times you giggle unintentionally and it makes her grin brightly and cheer

if somethings wrong, one of her ways to cheer you up is going places with you and to make you laugh

it doesn’t matter when, nor does it matter where

if you and beidou are together in the same place, it’s bound to end up becoming a laughing fest

and neither of you are complaining

not at least until your lungs are gonna jump out and smack you WHAHAHA

similarly to venti, often Beidou tries to stop laughing pridely while being concerned for your breathing

but it becomes one of those moments where even when you share a glance, both of you are out bursting again

you guys are always invited to parties, because the peaceful and prideful demeanor of you both happily giggling away makes the atmosphere better

even in bad moments there’s always a way Beidou can bring a grin or giggle to your face

#THANK YOU FOR THE NOTES #genshin impact #genshin headcanons #venti x reader #genshin venti x reader #venti x reader fluff #kazuha x reader #kazuha #genshin impact kazuha #genshin impact headcanons #kazuha fluff #kazuha headcanons #kazuha hcs #beidou x reader #beidou fluff #genshin impact beidou #beidou x you #beidou x y/n #beidou headcanons #genshin hcs #venti hcs #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact fluff #kazuha kaedehara #kaedehara x reader #kaedehara fluff

[sirisuorionblack]

Hiya! I love your writing so much 💜 May I pretty please request a sirius x reader imagine where they have passed the honeymoon phase of their relationship and now struggles with opening up to each other emotionally. Happy fluffy ending where they promise to love, protect and comfort each other?

I hope you have a lovely time wherever you are! Much love 💜

Until the very end

Sirius Black x Fem!Reader

Warning - Cursing.

Summary - Realising you are in love is tough and expressing it is quite difficult. But for Sirius Black, it happened in a short period of time and in the place where he would have never expected to confess his undying love yet he promises.

A/N Ahhhh THANK YOU SOO MUCH! I had fun writing this although I cried a bit in the end, curse my emotional personality. I had to take some time to understand how you struggle with expressing all the emotions in being in a relationship cause I have never done that so this is practically very much based on imagination and theory. Hope you like it!

Sirius Black. Your boyfriend of two months and within the short span of time he proved you what an amazing gentleman he could be all the while make you feel loved and cherished. It was beautiful being in his arms, kissing or not. Or just stand next to him, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you to his side as he casually chatted made you feel things that you couldn’t describe in words. All you knew was you wanted to be with him till the end of your life, all the worries and hurt long forgotten with just simple grins on your face.

And Sirius was in no good condition. He was over the moon after the first month of your relationship, he knew the moment you tightly held him in your arms while a tear rolled down his eyes that you were the one. The one who would make him feel loved, safe, happy, like the luckiest human alive. The one who acted as his best friend, a sibling, a parent and…a partner for the rest of his life. He craved to just simply old you in his arms after a tiring day rather than kissing feverishly. He wanted to mutter that it would all be alright and he is right there but gulped all the words of comfort in fear.

Sirius desperately hoped he could gather the courage to at least blurt those three words. How stupid of him to think he would get the courage in two months while he had waited two years to ask you out. He always heaved a huge sigh when he thought of it and today was no different.

“Look at that,” James said, staring at Sirius who had occupied the couch in front of the fire in the comfort of his common room. Sirius sat up straight from his hunched position, rubbing his hand and pried his eyes away from the dancing fires to his best friend’s warm brown eyes, “No one is attached to your hips. What a surprise!”

Sirius resorted to a small chuckle and stared at the fireplace again. James scrunched his eyebrows, the Sirius he knew, never, no matter what could remain silent for this long…unless he was asleep.

“You alright?” He asked, taking a seat next to him, “Are you guys fighting or something?”

The fright in his eyes scared James as Sirius hurriedly said, “No, no. Merlin, no,”

“Then what's wrong?” James asked, getting comfortable so that he was looking at Sirius with his full attention. The fire danced maliciously in his grey eyes. James would never not admire how striking they look but he never would admit it to Sirius.

“I…I want to tell her,” he said, and gulped, “I wanna tell her that, but, I just dunno how!”

“Tell her what?” James asked, confused.

Sirius looked at him weirdly and shook his head, “No wonder how Lily had accepted your date offers yet,”

“Hey!” James whacked him over the head. The two boys laughed later falling into a comfortable silence.

“Do you love her?” James asked, this time both of their eyes on the shimmering fire.

“I-I don’t think so,” Sirius sighed lightly, “It's not exactly love, you know. That would be an understatement,”

James whipped his head to look at him. “Not like the usual definition of love. That “I would die for you” and all that shit. It's more like I would live with you, hold you, protect you kinda…thing. It's like, I want to be with her for every second of my life and…do things, have things I never knew I needed or wanted for me,”

“Oh, Merlin,” James breathed, “Is this how I talk?”

Sirius looked at him for a second before laughing and pushing him jokingly, “Piss off,”

James chuckled, “I say you tell her. I am sure she would think the same way,”

Sirius looked at him, “You think so?”

“Nope. I know so,” he said, with that little smirk that Sirius had grown to find mild comfort in.

“How do I tell her then?” Sirius asked.

“Are you seriously asking me? And look what I did there? Sirius-ly,” He said.

“James,” Sirius looked at him warningly.

“Look, if it is anyone, I should be the last person for you to ask advice on how to tell a girl you love her,” James said, “I have been struggling on my own for years, mate!”

“Then should I ask Remus?”

“He would ask you to get a book for her and say “I fucking love you”,” James said.

“Right, then Peter?”

“Nope!”

”Uh, Marlene?”

“She herself is hanging on thin ice,”

“Alright then who!?”

James thought of it for a second before he said, “Think of it yourself you know, come up with a nice, new amazing idea!”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Where is Sirius?” you asked Remus the next morning in the Gryffindor common room.

“That shit is asleep like a log upstairs,” He mumbled.

You blinked, “Mr Potter, you gotta do something about your ward’s extensive cursing,”

James laughed as Remus rolled his eyes, “Of course, Mrs Black, I will ground him until he stops cursing.”

Your eyes widened at the name he called you. Mrs Black. You knew he wasn’t talking about Walburga Black but the feel of being Sirius Black’s was something new and exciting and beautiful. Something you loved and feared at the same time.

“Shut up, Mr Evans,” You said, wiping the smirk off his face and making him blush.

“Good Godric,” Remus shook his head looking at the two of you, “Just please for Merlin’s sake get going,”

You chuckled and walked upstairs, the sound of James saying Mrs Black echoed in your head. What would happen next? In a few days would he find you boring and leave? Will you confess…the actual feelings? What would happen then? When will it happen? The questions in your head were overwhelming and now you just needed to see Sirius.

When you reached the boys’ dormitory, you gently pushed the doors open and slowly stepped in trying to not make much noise.

Sirius laid asleep on his four-poster. His hair a wild mess on the pillow, his face turned towards the door, a small smile on his face. You tip-toed to his bed and crouched to your knees to look at him. He looked so peaceful and indeed sleeping like a log.

He looked divine. Relaxed yet gorgeous. You knew how much he impacted your life when you pushed away the hair on his face gently and leaned down to press your lips to his forehead. While you moved to pull the blanket over him properly, you felt him grab your hand with his eyes closed.

Holding your breath, you stood still for a second before realising he was still deeply asleep. He mumbled something strangely similar to “love you, puppy”, before shifting to lay straight on his back, his head inclined to the opposite side but the clutch on your hand never losing its grip. He held your hand as would at any other time.

You didn’t want to disturb him and you had no reason to either. You tried to gently pry his fingers but it was of no use as he woke up with a start. Looking around wildly before spotting you. He laid back on the bed, with his eyes wide open and looking at you accusingly but with a smile nevertheless.

“Sorry,” you muttered.

“It's OK, puppy,” he said, in his hoarse morning voice that you wished to hear for every day of your life, “C’mere,”

You took your place in his arms, snuggling closer to him. Sirius gently kissed your forehead, “Something’s wrong, my darling?”

“No,” you lied, moving closer to him. The warmth radiating off him was extremely comforting, those three words sitting on the tip of your tongue ready to slip out of your mouth any minute.

“Are you sure?” Sirius asked, shifting you in his arms so that the two of you were face to face. You nodded lightly.

With the mere months, Sirius had honestly get to know you rather than hiding behind and taking discreet looks, if he learnt anything it would be to identify every action of yours - he would immediately know if you were hiding something from him and usually Sirius wouldn’t pry the information but today was a different case. The hidden distress in your eyes was somehow blatantly visible to him, and he wanted that to disappear once and for all.

“Love, you know it’s okay to tell me anything, right?” he asked, looking intently into your eyes.

You let out a sigh, you could never hide anything from this boy, he knew every move of yours for your own good. You buried your head into his shoulder, his grey eyes too bright for you to look into.

“What is gonna happen next?” you mumbled. Sirius’ face took a look of confusion as he thought of it. What is gonna happen next?

“I dunno, get ready for breakfast?” He resorted to the more silly answer just to hear your laugh.

You pulled away to look at him, a beautiful smile on your face, “Not that, idiot. I meant like what do we next?”

Sirius leaned up to kiss your forehead, “Whatever my princess wants,”

“I love you,” You blurted without giving it a second thought. With wide eyes, you watched as Sirius' jaw dropped, a look of utter disbelief painting his handsome features.

In a state of panic, you scrambled to get out of the bed. Shaking your head, you muttered, “Forget it, forget I said that,”

“Wait, wait, darling!” Sirius threw the blanket away from him and stumbled to his feet. He rushed to you before you could leave the dorm and took hold of your wrist, pulling you flush against his chest. That’s when you saw it, the inexplicable amount of happiness mixed with disbelief in his eyes that would rival the stars themselves.

“Can you-what-can you say that again?” Sirius said, his eyes watering as he leaned down to place his forehead against yours, gently.

You wiped your own tears, taking his face in your hands as you whispered just for him to hear, “I love you,”

A dry sob escaped Sirius lips as he smashed his lips to yours, his arms around your waist tightening as he kissed you passionately with all the love poured into. He pulled away to look at you in the eyes, his chest blooming with pride and love, engulfing his entire being.

Sirius peppered your face with kisses and pulled away to look into your tear-filled eyes, “I love you too, puppy. I always have and always will, until the very end,”

“Until the very end?” you asked, smiling widely.

Sirius tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “Until the very end, darling. I still don’t know what we are going to do next but I know whatever it is, it’s going to be with you,”

You leaned up to press your lips to his, letting the two of you drown into the pure mixture of love, bliss and happiness.

And Sirius Black finally understood the feeling of being loved and loving someone.

#Sirius Black #sirius black x reader #sirius orion black #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius black imagine #sirius black fluff #sirius x y/n #sirius x you #sirius x reader #sirius x fem!reader #sirius black #james potter #remus lupin #marauders era #harry potter

[lunastwilightblog]

The Volturi are the good guys and Bella is the up-and-coming villain

I’m on my computer for this as I know it might be long, but bear with me (insert Emmett pun here) 🐻

So wait - the Volturi are the good guys? But didn’t SM write them as the bad guys? 

Well, yes, SM did write Aro and co in as the antagonists of the series, but bear in mind that originally she didn’t write most of New Moon to happen, or the entirety of Eclipse. There was Twilight and Forever Dawn, which we’ll sadly never read. Her vision of the Volturi and their role as the evil villains who wanted to separate Edward and Bella became distorted as she had to flesh them out more and show their role as the governing body.

Then she wrote the Illustrated Guide and revealed their history and the horrors of the world without their authority; with the Romanians being as brutal as they were, the constant terror humans lived with and the fracturing of the world into many unstable and violent vampire-ruled empires (plus with way more children of the moon running about, probably as far west as - at least - central Europe). 

When the Volturi were coming to power they were laughed at with the idea of their law, a significant reason the Romanians didn’t take them seriously. But now they are extremely popular.

This isn’t just because Aro created vampires to go out and sing his praises. Volturi rule has been a blessing for both humans and vampires.

For humans it’s the obvious: they are not living their lives in fear, they are not subject to massacres (except if caught in newborn warzones), their population has been able to grow and expand, modern medicine and technology have been able to flourish, society is much more stable, people need to flee areas much less (if ever) so they can stay put and complete research/live to meet their grandkids/etc, and not have to serve a vampire in the local castle. 

For vampires it’s actually quite similar: with the human population growing to as large as it is today when at the time the Volturi came to power it was (estimated to be) only 210 million globally, vampires have been able to grow to even greater numbers also, and feed more often than before. If a vampire 2000 years ago killed 5 people in a town it would be an outrage the humans would certainly have noticed, however kill 5 people in a place as big as London, LA, Paris, Singapore, Bucharest... it would likely not be noticed very much, if at all (depending on who you kill).  

Humans like to measure things in percentages. Those 5 people is a huge number to a town of 2000 - that’s 0.25% of the whole town’s population. It would be talked about, and relatives of the dead/missing would all know each other. Yet kill those 5 in a city of 12 million (as is London), that’s only 0.00004167% of the population. And chances are, the dead humans’ families don’t even live in the area (or could be in another country entirely) never mind know each other to realise there was a mass murder.

So vampires, as long as they hide from humans, as is the only law (besides no immortal children or consorting with werewolves), they have a lot more freedom nowadays than they did before the times of the Volturi. There are so many people that they can easily get lost in a crowd, move internationally, and not be pressured for allegiance by a local vampire warlord (before meeting Aro, Caius ran afoul of the Romanians, and he barely escaped with his life).

With there only being one authority, and one that does not interfere with your day-to-day life, is a dream come true. As long as they don’t break this law that is very easy to abide by, they can do whatever the f*** they want.

Carlisle would have never been able to get a job as a doctor if he was known to be a vampire, nor could any of the Cullens have entered education of any form. They’d be stuck sneaking into libraries after closing, and googling. Edward would have never met Bella (neither would Edward’s ancestors have immigrated to America - in fact, Europeans may have never discovered America in the first place. The whole Cullen coven aside from Carlisle might never have been born).

So what the Volturi have done (despite many of them having not-so-savoury personalities corrupted by hunger for power or violence) is bring peace to the world, get rid of tyrants, increase the food supply, allow a greater amount of freedom, and the first kind of trials and justice ever seen in their world. Sure, Aro uses trials to find new talent, but it’s still a world away from before.

Which leads me on to the events of Breaking Dawn, and Bella.

So. Maybe controversial, but: the Volturi did absolutely nothing wrong in Breaking Dawn.

They turned up thinking a serious crime had been committed. They stopped to talk (which Vladimir certainly never would have done!), considered the evidence and processed new discoveries and discussed their legality, decided there was no crime to punish, and left with only the informant dead. Yes, Irina had been innocent in the way that she strongly had believed she had been telling the truth and her memories must have presented good enough evidence to Aro initially, but their witnesses had come to see justice being served, and in the vampire world that is execution. Aro could have continued with prosecuting the Cullens for something he now knew was false, or execute Irina instead.

(Side note: she did kind of deserve it too. She didn’t bother to check her evidence, she wanted revenge for Laurent’s death so her accusation wasn’t coming from a place of good intentions but instead she was willing to have her friends and family killed for Laurent. She was also forcing Aro into a position where he had to prepare himself to kill Carlisle, whom we know he cherishes. Remember also that Aro turned down Laurent’s application to the Guard because he’d followed the Romanians for a while, so he won’t have been entirely trusting of Irina anyway, her having been Laurent’s mate).

Anyway. Onto Bella.

So Aro’s impression of Bella after New Moon seems to be positive. Why? Well, through Edward’s thoughts he saw that Bella was able to keep The Secret. He had heard how much she wanted to be a vampire. In addition, Marcus showed him how strong Edward and Bella’s bond is. Both of them knew, that if E & B’s love was almost as strong as Marcus and Didyme’s, that no matter what Edward currently said or thought about Bella being turned it was invalid. If Bella were dying, he would turn her for sure, which happened. Then the obvious, that Edward had already proven he could not live without her.

Bella was trustworthy and probably going to be turned. Alice showing proof was just a formality so Aro could say he had evidence rather than admit he’d just made assumptions (and Alice having had that vision may act as proof that his assumption was correct).

Therefore, from Aro’s perspective, Bella was a human who wanted to become immortal so much that she would rather die than not, and she was already following his law. She was no issue. 

Yet.

Bella, knowing the law, should have been very grateful that she was left alive. Edward not being executed and she not being killed or forcibly turned on the spot... Aro had been very nice to them.

And again, in BD, he was very nice to them. Some people will inevitably say that he was weak in not killing them all. I mean, they stood beside Vladimir and Stefan! They have an army of wolves fundamentally opposed to vampires! Aro has lost Good Reputation Points by sparing the Cullens. He held as close to a trial as vampire society has ever had, and rightfully pronounced the Cullens innocent.

So shouldn’t Bella like him? He has spared her life and the lives of her loved ones more than one, and proven that he can be spoken to and conversed with properly and is willing to admit he was wrong. With Aro, we know it’s important to look more at what he does than what he says, and what he has done is be very kind to the Cullens (though who knows about the future?).

Yet Bella was creeped out by him when they met and interpreted him as a threat to Edward’s life. As she loves Edward, she’s always going to be of this mind, and first impressions are important.

Vampires are stuck with the mindsets they had when turned. An example of this is Esme, who was turned after her baby died and she tried to die too. She is permanently feeling maternal. She was turned only days after giving birth. Before knowing this, Bella even describes her as maternal and the mother of the family. Huilen also has a lot of care for Nahuel, being his aunt, because of her love for Pire, and while she was dying, Pire begged Huilen to raise him. Joham does not seem to have this parental love for his son and daughters; he never really knew Pire and was never affected by her love for Nahuel, and did not meet him until years after he was born. He’s only genetically a parent. He doesn’t have the protective mindset. When he was turned, he was a curious scientist (in fact, it was even why his creator turned him). He sees the world and people as things to study.

Anyway.

When Bella was turned, all she was thinking about was Renesmee. She begged Edward to get the baby out and didn’t care for her own life.

And she will be forever stuck in this high alert, must-protect-my-baby mode. Then for weeks as a newborn vampire, she was thinking of Aro as a threat and preparing to fight him. Compounding that, he was a threat to her daughter.

Both of these things will have had a significant effect on who she will have become after her newborn phase ended. It is impossible for Bella to ever like Aro now, even if she tried.

Her dislike of him, and willingness to fight against him, will be forever engrained in her brain.

This is dangerous.

Bella found the Romanians weird, but she didn’t dislike them per se. She would probably be willing to stand with them against the Volturi again.

We can take an educated guess and assume that sometime they will rise up again - and Bella might stand with them (though I highly doubt any of the other Cullens would).

Bella was not a problem for Aro until she stood beside Vladimir and Stefan. 

Here is this vampire who can block most of his coven’s gifts, stuck with an intense dislike of him, who he has seen with his own eyes stand with his enemies. He has every right to be nervous now. Her love for her mate is almost as strong as Marcus’s bond to Didyme - how strong is her bond to Renesmee? Likely more. Aro knows the threat in that. He knows that Bella may be viewing him in the way Marcus feels when he thinks of taking revenge on whoever killed Didyme.

Nobody wants the Romanians back in power. Those who lived under their reign and those who have heard first hand stories told to them all know very well that life under Vladimir would be horrible, brutal, awful for all beside his close coven members (though considering he had a very large coven that was often squabbling amongst itself, it was probably miserable for a lot of them too).

But Bella is young. She has no memory of the world before the Volturi, and knows no one with first hand experience of that world other than the Volturi. She will have heard that it was horrible, but she has no emotional or personal connection to the near-ancient past, and vampires who lived during that time are disappearing. No one lives forever.

Then, she is American. Like Garrett, she values freedom, and the Volturi are the only oppressive vampire force either of them has ever known. Despite them being the least oppressive in vampire history, Bella and Garrett haven’t experienced the alternative. They are a government that is at times harsh, is corrupt, and executes people. They go to war and they obliterate their enemies. Bella doesn’t see that the Volturi is the least bad government her world is ever going to get, and that they’ve granted her so much freedom. She is unable to see that because, in her youth, she has nothing to compare them against.

By standing against the Volturi, Bella isn’t just standing against Aro, Caius, and Marcus. She is standing against the peace they have brought between vampires, against humans living without fear, against modern civilisation itself. She stands a representative of the next world order, and Aro can sense it.

#bella swan #bella cullen #aro volturi #volturi #the volturi #the volturi coven #volturi coven #edward cullen #esme cullen #pire twilight #huilen twilight #nahuel twilight #Joham twilight #garrett twilight #irina twilight #Irina Denali #carlisle cullen #cullen family #cullen coven #THETWILIGHTSAGA #twilgihtsaga #twilightsagaedit #twilight renaissance #twilight revival #twilight renewal #twilight resurgance

[crazycatsiren]

Hellenic Pagan Oath Taking

I feel like this is a very important topic that needs to be addressed and clarified, especially for new worshippers/devotees.

Being a devotee to a deity does not mean you are oath bound to that deity. Swearing an oath to a deity is not a requirement for becoming a devotee of theirs. It will never be a requirement. You are not 100% committed to or "stuck with" your deity for life by being a devotee. You can be devoted to multiple deities at the same time. You are allowed to stop being a deity's devotee should it no longer work out for you.

Oaths are not necessary, and are not to be taken lightly. As a matter of fact, I highly discourage new devotees from taking any oath in the beginning. An oath can be a life long commitment, and not something you can simply change your mind about or walk away from later. It's never a good idea to bind yourself to a deity without knowing exactly what you're doing and being absolutely certain of what you're signing up for.

Being oath bound to a deity is a big responsibility to take on. Your deity will expect you to keep your word. Breaking an oath is a huge deal. Epiorkia, or perjury, is a grievous offense with serious consequences. Horkos, the daemon of oaths, will inflict punishment upon perjurers most swiftly and harshly. In Hesiod’s Theogony, Horkos is one “who does more damage than any other to earthly men, when anyone, of his knowledge, swears to a false oath.” “Beware of all the fifth days [of the month]; for they are harsh and angry; it was on the fifth, they say, that the Erinyes (Furies) assisted at the bearing of Horkos (Horcus, Oath), whom Eris (Strife) bore, to be a plague on those who take false oath.” So, long story short, do not break an oath to a deity. If you aren't sure without an ounce of doubt that you can and will keep it until you die, then don't swear it!

Being oath bound to a deity doesn't mean you're not allowed to worship other deities. I love and respect all the Greek gods and goddesses. I work with many of them often, and they are also always present in my life. But I devote more time and activities to Artemis, and my relationship with her is much more exclusive. She gets the VIP treatment, in a sense. Being committed to her means more of my devotions go to her than any other deity. Of all the divine beings, she is the most special one in my life.

Being oath bound to a deity means your relationship is still reciprocal, but on a deeper level. By giving Artemis my daughterly devotion, I have in turn gained a devoted mother. I never had a true relationship with my biological mother. After decades of toxicity and abuse, I severed my ties with her and allowed myself to be disowned in order to save myself. In Artemis I have found the mother I never had, and thanks to her, I can finally have a mother who is willing to be a mother to me. As her adopted daughter, I will love her, honor her, cherish her, and remain dedicated to and grateful for her forever.

An oath should be realistic. As well as carefully thought through. I recommend keeping it simple and flexible, so you don't accidentally break it or any of its conditions.

In conclusion: oaths can be very good things to have for us Hellenic Pagans, if the seriousness and weight of the oaths are taken into consideration. An oath is like any other promise that should not be broken to begin with in good conscience. But when divine beings are involved, there are higher stakes for breaking promises.

#oaths #oath taking #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagans #hellenism #hellenismos #greek pantheon #deities #paganism #witchblr #paganblr #witches of tumblr #pagans of tumblr

[gpsoftun]

Awww, see Logan? Kids aren't so bad ☺

The time has come again for me to rain on fandom fun. Although, considering how many times Fox has violated everybody, most should be numb at this point.

Like dofp, people see X2 as a worthwhile sequel. I mostly liked it at first and though it's way better than dofp, I'll take X-Men 2000 over it any day.

There are good elements in it. Kurt/Nightcrawler is really great and unlike his mother, he stays fully clothed. He has significant moments with his sister Rogue and their sleazy mutual mother. The relationships are never referenced specifically but get the frick out of here with that. Not one of Erik's multiple, well-known children show up until four movies later. With Raven, half these flicks might as well be called Tyler Perry's Mystique's Family Reunion. Shoot, they should've let Perry direct. At least he attempts human emotion and relationships.

Rogue's excitement over Logan coming home was so heartfelt. As was Logan's continued affection for her and initial gruffness with Bobby. Scott was too wonderful for this series. Logan jacked his motorcycle, but the first thing Scott asks him is if he found what he was looking for. Logan's conversation with Professor X and Prof being playful/fatherly toward him was sweet. Logan agrees to watch the kids- back before he decided he loathed children. Magneto teaming up with them provided some cherished moments of him taking the wind out of Logan's overrated sails. And Pyro joining Magneto actually made sense. To think, the old man didn't even have to prey on him sexually- no matter how much McKellen likely wanted that in his contract. My goodness, the male actors in these movies. They actually come in to work. It's a good thing most of Rogue's scenes are with them. Don't need those X-women bringing her down.

Blah, blah, blah let's get to the bad.

For some random loner they've known less than two weeks, Logan is made too important among the X-Men. Professor X treats him like a son, Jean is all girly blushing at the mere sight of him; the kids all have such reverence for him, and Stryker is stalking him for his alleged greatness. If not for Magneto dissing him and Hugh Jackman's fine acting, Logan would be a collosal gary stu.

Speaking of Magneto, wtf was wrong with him in this movie?! This was seriously his descension into one-dimensional villainy. WHY didn't Magneto immediately tell Charles about the threat on the school?! WHY was he so remorseful towards Rogue in the last movie but mocking his near homicide of her- an innocent mutant child- in this one?! WHY would he be stupid enough to try to commit global genocide against every homo sapien?! Forget the ethics. That would wipe out most of the population and cause immeasurable destruction and chaos across the.globe. WHY did he leave his 'best friend' and only prison visitor to die?! WHY is this genetic scientist who can mutate regular humans still trapped in McKellen's wrinkled, prehistoric empty sack of a body?!

WHY didn't Mystique anonymously contact Prof X about the raid?! WHY did she openly laugh at her daughter's trauma?! WHY is she running around naked in front of her son?! WHY is she trying to risk procreation with Logan when she can't be bothered with the kids she already has?! WHY does fandom pretend she's beautiful when she's really a hideous animalistic pet wench?!

WHY is Jean such a gullible, naive tramp?! WHY is she cheating on her kidnapped boyfriend with a lustful, unreliable hobo?! WHY did she leave the house with that haircut? WHY couldn't she just stay dead?! WHY does Fox do good female mutants dirty yet put the evil ones on a pedestal?!

I'll complain about Scott later.

Why is this thing even called X-Men United when most of it has them scattered from each other? To this day, X-Men 2000 is the only X-Men movie with the X-Men as a functional team!

And oh boy, we need to talk about *that* scene. You know which one i mean Yeah, buckle in for this bull, boys and girls 😠

After the mansion invasion, Bobby brought Rogue, Pyro, and Logan to his family's Boston house. The Drakes come home suddenly and Bobby 'comes out' about being a mutant..........

Ooooooookay... hey, gays, c'mere. Come, come. I get it. Singer got you- not to mention McKellen- reeled in with this transparent pride pandering. Now, look, I acknowledge that a number of you can relate to Bobby here. Being altogether exiled from family or them never accepting who you're going out with. I'm sure there have been violent and cruel reactions as well.

That being said, this scene is terrible!  Bobby's parents being troubled by his mutation I can buy. His mother ready to scream because he chilled her tea, no. Bobby's *little* brother being so utterly repulsed- seriously, even this kid emotes better than Jean and Storm- that he runs upstairs and calls 911 was unforgivably exaggerated and stupid! Then, the Drakes just completely abandon Bobby when he and his friends are being rounded up by law enforcement.

I know to people like Singer wholesome, two-parent suburban families are really a front for kkk headquarters. One of those bigoted assumptions that no one points out. But no way do I buy that Bobby's parents could have and love their firstborn for almost twenty years, only to throw him to the wolves because he can generate snow cones. For pete's sake, there are parents willing to alibi their known serial killer-rapists, drug dealing, school shooting, bomb building children! I can't even call it a cartoony reaction because the actual animated adaptations weren't nearly so spoon-feeding.

On the 90s show, did Christopher Summers treat Scott like this? No! When they met, Christopher already had a team made up of intergalactic weirdos, including a white cat lady who inspired one of my characters. Did Jean's parents react badly?  Before the stupid phoenix movie, she had the most stable family in every adaptation. Gambit's little bayou swamp family of thieves reacted to meeting the X-Men with such nonchalance that they had to be okay with mutation. Hank distanced himself from his family but only because he had such a physical mutation and didn't want to make trouble for them. Professor X couldn't tell about his mutation because during his era, he would have been institutionalized for hearing voices. Rogue's father threw her away, but that evil redneck was probably just mad he couldn't molest her. Even Jubilee's foster parents loved her. They just didn't know how to help her.

On X-Men Evolution, Evan's parents were too cool with his and Storm's mutations. So were Kurt's adopted parents. In fact, most of the students went home for the holidays. Ironically, the most negligent parents were flippin mutants, Mystique and Magneto.

I don't know what is with these movies and reducing the world to black and white caricatures. It's especially bothersome since the only really innocent mutants across the films are Rogue, Kitty, Jubilee, Kurt, and Scott. The rest go insane with power, join cults or other nefarious organizations, go on killing sprees, cause billions of dollars in property damage with their ridiculous inter-mutant tiffs. Oh wow, I just realized that these movies make mutation an allegory for urban gangs(Erik) vs. youth outreach programs (Charles).

Anyway, Rogue flies a plane to keep them from crashing, despite being a terrified young girl with no mary sue magic like her mother. Jean dies for stupid reasons but we still get a brief peace before the wet rag demon reemerges. Rogue is finally given a proper uniform and joins the team alongside her brother Kurt and Sc- SCOTT? W- b huh?! Kurt and Scott are right there when the Professor so properly but ominously tells the president to leave his babies alone. That wet rag drowning in water didn't prevent Scott from leading the X-Men. Kurt never left. What happened?!!!!!

.... Wait. Is x3 like the first Power Rangers movie- non-canon? So that means Jean really is dead and everything from last stand to logan is just a nightmarish alter-Earth.

Also meaning.....

-Scott got over the wet rag and dedicated himself to his students.

-Kurt stayed to get to know his sister.

-Logan and Scott developed a genuine friendship with no hootchie in the middle.

-Scott retained his place as Professor X's rightful heir.

-Charles and Erik really did meet as teenagers. They did have a long friendship at one point. Erik never paralyzed Charles!

-Rogue and Kurt eventually tracked Mystique down for child support

-Charles IS the hero!!!!!

I knew x2 was better than dofp 😄

#x-men movies #x2 x-men united #critique #Patrick Stewart #Charles Xavier #James Marsden #Scott Summers #Anna Paquin #Rogue #anti jean grey #anti erik lehnsherr #anti magneto #anti storm #alan cumming #kurt wagner #Charles' Angels #anti dofp #God still loves the gays #Scott Summers deserved better #Rogue deserved better #Kurt Wagner deserved better #Charles Xavier protection squad #platonic love #Charles Xavier Institute of Individuality

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle wouldn’t want to be human

This really goes for most of the Cullens, Rosalie excepted (I think Edward would last one day without his telepathy and superpowers before this happened (well honestly I think his denial would keep him from ever admitting this but this isn’t an Edward post so we’re cutting this thought short right now before it spirals)), but I see both Edward and general fandom just sort of take it for granted that if anyone offered Carlisle a miraculous human again pill (and I’m just picturing that as some hokey pill being sold on ad TV) he’d praise Jesus and swallow that down immediately, and I’ve to see anybody argue with that so here I go.

First of, if Carlisle were to suddenly find himself human again I have every belief that Aro would materialize and go, “My dear Carlisle has been made a human? How tragic! Never fear, old friend, I’ll fix that for you. Om nom nom.” and then Carlisle would not be human. And I’m only half joking when I say that, because Carlisle has a lot of friends, and while his animal diet is all well and good, if he were to actually do something like this they’d be very sad his human obsession has gone too far and stage an intervention. “We’re doing this because we love you, Carlisle. Now please try not to be too delicious. Om nom nom.” And then we’re back to Carlisle being a vampire again, though with slightly longer hair this time.

More seriously, if Carlisle was offered this miracle pill, then as a doctor he’d probably be less than enthused about it. He was there to see what happened to the Native Americans when the Europeans came carrying brand new disease, and after viruses and bacteria have had 350 years and a globalized planet to evolve, our seventeenth century priest is going to be in trouble. He’s unvaccinated to boot. He also has a completely different intestinal bacterial flora than modern humans do, which I imagine would not be fun for his digestion. This guy would be a sickly, constipated mess.

As for the main reason - why would Carlisle ever want to be human?

Before he’d mastered his thirst, then he’d probably feel obligated to. For as long as he hadn’t mastered it there was always the risk of him losing control and killing somebody. In his early days he certainly would have jumped on the chance. But none of this is a problem anymore.

So, to take the reasons why he wouldn’t say yes in the present day - first of, why would he not want to be a vampire? He is past worrying about his thirst. His vampirism is at this point purely an asset to him. It makes him great at his job. All his friends and family are vampires. If he were to become human again, he’d not just suddenly suck at his job (as I imagine he has incorporated his super senses into his work to the point where he would pretty much have to learn everything anew if he still wanted to be a doctor), his brain would be slow and limited, and he could never see his cherished friends, people he has known for centuries, again. He’d have to start over with another fake identity in a new place, and sure, this time he could stay until he died of old age, but he’d still be lying to everybody he met about his identity. Carlisle is very much a social butterfly, and he’d be unable to form meaningful friendships when he could never get truly personal with anybody.

In other words, Carlisle would be signing himself up for a lonely life of being average if not bad at his work. And his work is incredibly important to him.

Then there’s the fact that as a doctor, modern viruses aside, when it comes to health problems Carlisle has seen it all. He would know better than everybody that even if the modern viruses don’t make him a sickly mess, even if he doesn’t join the statistics of people who die in tragic accidents, he could still get a brain aneurism at the age of 24 and his human LARP is over. And who knows, maybe he had some nasty disease lurking in his DNA just waiting to ruin his life had he lived long enough, such as ALS. But assuming that Carlisle says “I’LL RISK IT”, even if he makes it to an older age, aging is no joke. Dementia, gout, incontinence, the general and inevitable decline of his body - this is the looming shadow hanging over all our heads. For an immortal who has seen countless humans succumb to it, why choose this?

And for what?

So he could have kids of his own, presumably with Esme?

He has a whole family. Rosalie and Edward especially are his children. Just, this guy loves his whole family so much, I can’t imagine he’d throw them aside in favor of some faceless toddler concept. I also don’t think he’d even want kids of his own, but I think that’s for another post. And also mostly a vibe.

So he could grow old with Esme?

Again - why? She’d be just as much an outcast as he, and face all the same health risks (except I suppose for the modern viruses, she hasn’t been dead for that long). I can’t imagine he’d want to sit idly by and watch her either die ahead of schedule, or live long enough to become unable to care for herself.

Then there’s the fact that at most he’d have six or seven decades. To him, that’s just the blink of an eye. And, again, a very unpleasant blink where he loses everything, is less intelligent, and slowly dies.

Lastly there’s the fact that the human he was is dead, his time has passed. Carlisle doesn’t belong in the human world any longer. He interacts with it because helping humans gives him joy and meaning in life, but he’s a man out of his time and this brave new world is not the one he once lived in. He would not in any way belong, and I think he knows that quite well.

Just, the whole idea that Carlisle would want this is founded on Carlisle having some sort of innate worship of humans where being human is inherently better. I’m sorry, but that’s Edward. If Carlisle felt this way, he wouldn’t be turning others into vampires, and he wouldn’t have vampire friends all over the globe. To him, thirst isn’t a problem, and his vampirism means he can save more humans than he otherwise would. The remaining concern would be God, but Carlisle’s life philosophy is that being a vampire is not by itself a sin, so he’s fine in that regard too.

In summation, I think Carlisle is quite happy being a vampire, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

#carlisle cullen #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #note on the intestinal bacterial flora #a study was done on an african tribe whose members were eating the same food as their ancestors had for thousands of years #and a group of regular americans #they switched diets #and the african tribesmembers' gut flora was noticeably decreased after just a few weeks #and as far as i remember this was irreversible change #while the modern americans did not have noticeable change #so if i understand that correctly then this might not be such a big problem for carlisle #but it's still food for thought #and i imagine the transition period would suck #he'd probably just take the easy way out and eat unprocessed organic food #be that hipster #vegan vampire and hipster human #... i'm quitting this 'carlisle's indigestion combat tactics' tag spiral #before it gets weirder #point is this guy would lose everything #he could never see his friends again #and in exchange he gets to give a forced smile and say 'yay. i'm human. yayy...'