#i’ve also really been wanting to solidify all of their pronouns for a while now but couldn’t find a suitable time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shotorozu · 3 years

Note

hello!! i saw that your requests were open and wanted to ask if you could do single dad! atsumu suna and sakusa falling in love with reader, like it's sort of a meet cute (or not) but the reader falls for them and the kid and happiness lskfjsdfk have a great day!!

single dad! falling for reader

character(s) : miya atsumu, suna rintarou, sakusa kiyoomi (haikyuu!!)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, timeskip au! (because,, single dads.)

headcanon type : fluff, crack and angst if you squint (x reader)

warning(s) : mentions of the character’s ex wives, the ex-wives being jerks for multiple different reasons and ways (so,, be warned. for negligence, not very detailed hitting, and cheating, but not on reader)

note(s) : me, writing for haikyuu?? wow, a surprise! also, it’s been a while since i’ve written for haikyuu so if i don’t get the characterization correctly— ESPECIALLY FOR SAKUSA, i’m sorry in advance.

»»————-　♡　————-««

miya atsumu

at first, his marriage was happy. miya atsumu— successful in his 20s, basically set for life, and with a head strong wife that gave him a wonderful daughter

he was elated when his son, genji came into this world. he wouldn’t swap him out for anyone else. and it was all good, really

until he started spotting marks on genji’s delicate skin, and he even found a large bruise on his shoulder when he was changing his shirt! he almost passed away seeing that

genji would also have a sudden fear of being alone in the house— even when his mother would stay behind to take care of him

but why though? genji’s only 4! what could’ve happened to him? he doesn’t recall hiring any babysitters.

he finally found the answer one day, when he found out that his head strong, intense wife— has been physical with him!

basically, all the love for his wife flew out the window, and he filed for a divorce— and of course, he won custody

and he assumed that his love life would stop at that— and it didn’t sound terrible. all that mattered was that his son was safe, and happy again

but this is where you come in

you work at a toy store, a small business toy store really, that sold the highest of quality only

and atsumu took genji to either replace, or fix the toy he broke a few days back. the place was recommended to him by shoyo— who also had a kid of his own

you’re just two years younger than him, eyes full of determination and care, practically the complete opposite of his ex-wife.

you put up a good conversation with him, while you fixed the toy— the two of you talking about the mutual friends, and that ‘this place should be a lot more popular.’

and also, his son did happen to take a liking to you. he seemed joyous in your presence— compared to how he was with his ex-wife

and from that moment on, the two of you would only become closer— especially when a bunch of his son’s toys started breaking magically

before atsumu knew it, he harbored something for you— the absolute angel you were to the both of them

“‘m sorry for the inconvenience,” the faux blond scratches the back of his next “didn’t know genji here was a ‘lil clumsy weasel,”

you laugh, and genji’s just staring at you with amusement, “it’s fine, genji could break his entire toy box— and i’d still fix it anyway.”

so this was the nerve wracking part, “to make up for it, would you like some coffee later? i could treat ‘ya.”

“is this yer way of askin’ Y/N—”

“shut yer mouth for a sec— uhm,” he looks at you, sheepishly

you laugh, “miya, i wouldn’t mind honestly. but i’d assume you’re busy as it is.”

“not at all!” atsumu replies, “i’ll just, drop off genji first. say yer thanks to Y/N,” atsumu looks at genji, encouraging him to say his thanks

“,,thanks for fixing my toys, Y/N.”

“no problem, genji.” you smile at the two of them when they move to leave the store, fixed toys in hand— as they wave at you before parting

“oh, Y/N?” atsumu calls out,

“yeah?”

“call me atsumu— from now on.” his cheeks are tinted pink, and he can feel genji’s eyes on him.

“oh, uhm. yeah! i’ll see you later, atsumu.”

so yeah— the two of you went out for some coffee, and before he even knew it, he was in love.

it might take him a few months to realize it though

suna rintarou

i can’t imagine him having kids for some reason 💀 but if he were to have any, he’d definitely have a daughter

rintarou himself, didn’t think he would have kids at at all, really. but the moment he was able to meet asuka— his lovely little daughter

he was hooked. he seemed a little awkward at first, not very used to caring for a child. but he was actually decent at his job

he’d sneak into his daughter’s room to hold her when she was upset— even when his wife was too knocked out to realize it, and he’d show her picture books

since she liked them a lot, even when she can’t coherently read a straight paragraph yet.

it started to concern him when he realized how little his wife was involved in the development of their daughter.

she started acting different, a little bit after she didn’t have to breastfeed asuka

and then, that’s when it happened.

“i literally can’t believe you,” he speaks when he’s packing his things, “we have a child together.”

his soon to be ex wife is on the floor, begging him to stay— but he doesn’t care. “look, the idea of you cheating wasn’t very surprising. i don’t care anymore, really. but the fact that you’ve been neglecting asuka for your selfish needs is low. i hope you’re ashamed of yourself.”

his words are so much different that his lenient, calm self. which only solidifies reality

so he leaves with asuka, not caring about the sobs that left his soon to be ex wife’s mouth.

and even though he was still angry at his wife for not being there, he’d never let it show to asuka

he’d still show her picture books, he’d still sit down and watch miraculous ladybug with her— even when she doesn’t understand it all completely

and speaking of picture books— he decided that he needed to buy more for her

so he took her to the bookstore, and he didn’t really know what he was doing. he bought all those previous books when asuka was still a newborn

now it’s a little fuzzy on what he should be looking for. colors, right? he needs a picture book that has plenty of colors.

and that’s where you come in. you’re youthful, despite looking not that far off his age, you’re humming to yourself as you fix the bookshelves

“uhm,” he calls out for your help, and you look at him in recognition “need any help? what are you looking for?”

there’s a helpful glint in your eyes, and it reminded him of what should’ve been in his ex wife’s eyes. “my daughter, likes picture books. and,, i don’t know what i’m doing.”

she’s basically a replica of him, same eye color, and same hair color. but her eyes are much more rounded, youthful.

“cute kid,” you smile when she coos at you, “the children books are this way, follow me!” you exclaim, moving to navigate your way to the children’s book isle

so it seems to be that you really know what you’re doing. most people would’ve recommended picture books with a lot of words, or just no words at all

but you’ve found the books that made asuka exclaim in happiness.

and although it’s not very obvious that rintarou’s caring to his child— he is, and you could tell. despite looking lost, and sometimes bored when you’re explaining the books.

so every 2 weeks, the father would return with his daughter, after he got back from volleyball— and you’d help them pick out on certain books.

rintarou assumed he’d never take a liking in anyone again, but,, here he is. and he doesn’t know how you’ll react to that.

but it’s worth a try— he’d try and get your number when he’d see you again

the next time you see him, the middle blocker’s alone. and he tells you that he needs more picture books for asuka, since she’s staying over at his volleyball friend’s house for a day

“Y/N,”

“yes?” you turn your head, meeting his stare. he looks well,, himself. like how he first sought out for your help a few weeks back

“,, could i get your number? y’know, just in case asuka wanted worded books in the future. you’ve helped a lot, so,,”

you smile, “is this your way of hitting on me?”

he didn’t think it was that obvious, “what?— i mean,” he fumbles to reason out, feeling a bit more awkward. because yes, he’s asking you out but,, he has the power to make things more laxed, y’know?

truthfully, you don’t know much about him. you know a lot about his daughter, sure! but you don’t know anything about her biological mother, or what happened, or why she’s not taking asuka to the bookstore

but you chose not to ask, out of respect. he’d tell you some other day. “i’m just teasing,” you smile, moving to get a small piece of paper— writing your digits on the paper, and placing it in his pocket

“i’d like to see you again,” you smile, “say hi to asuka for me.”

the middle blocker left the store in content, absolutely sure that asuka would love to see you again even when she can’t form proper sentences.

sakusa kiyoomi

didn’t think he’d be fit to be a father— but here he is

though he seems cold, he does take responsibility, and he does love and care for his child, seina

it’s not like he’ll be posting pictures of his child everywhere— i mean, even if he had a different personality, he still wouldn’t be posting his kid everywhere

but he does cherish seina, like his life depended on it. he’d still silently watch her cross out word puzzles in a messy matter, he’d silently listen to her talk about her favorite pastries

he loves her!

so that’s why it made him mad, when even after 4 years of seina being born, her mother made little to no effort in spending time with her

doesn’t matter if it was a simple gesture like tucking her in, or showing up to a birthday— she just,, never did.

it was almost as if she was ignoring seina, which causes some distraught on the child’s behalf— which passed on the negative feeling to him

like,, seina wasn’t an unbearable kid. sure, she acted up here and there, that’s an issue kiyoomi has been trying to fix on his own

but it was nothing too concerning, and it was containable. but his wife treated her like she was absolutely unbearable

and it was super strange because, she’d act normal around him, but would barely acknowledge her own daughter’s existence

so what did kiyoomi do? he confronted her, of course.

and no— his wife wasn’t cheating, and nothing tragic happened that would’ve caused her to be this way

she was just,, lazy

“so.. you gave birth and stopped caring for her? is that it?” furious was an understatement, considering that his wife forgot to make her daughter breakfast

which caused her to sneak out of the house, and ask for some breakfast from some nice neighbors.

“look, if you want nothing to do with her, just say that. i’m taking seina, and leaving.” so yeah now he’s a single father.

to say he didn’t love her was too quick, a part of him didn’t love the fact that his wife loved him, but didn’t show any sign of affection towards her daughter.

he knew it was going to fade away anyway. his feelings for his unofficial ex wife.

and i don’t think he’d plan on seeing new people, since now these days— people just like the idea of being with him

which meant that most people would’ve been scared away, or turned off if they really sat down in a conversation with him

besides the point, kiyoomi was taking his daughter to the bakery again— as she was craving new pastries, and wanted to go to the new bakery that just opened near by

and kiyoomi was like “why not ig” and took her there— but then, this is where he’d meet you for the first time

you were one of the bakers, and it’s not like he was going to pay attention to you— until you did something even HE couldn’t do

“papa, whyyyy” the whining sounding painful in his ears, as his daughter clung to the display of pastries “can’t we get moreeee??”

“seina,” he sighs, “no, we can’t.”

“but—”

“papa, you’re no fair!” her bottom lip trembles, and he could almost FEEL the judgmental stares of the other customers in the bakery

and this is where you come in, “is something the matter?”

“papa won’t.. get me more!” she stares at the selection of pastries, “i’ve been so nice but.. it’s no fair!” her eyes tear up

“don’t cry,” you bend down to blot her tears away with a tissue, “y’know, he probably has a reason, but you’re in luck— actually!” you maneuver behind the counter

you come out from behind, presenting a fresh batch of pastries— that were just right to his daughter’s liking, to the point that it shut her up entirely

“they’re on the house, today’s our opening day, so it’s the bakery’s treat!”you state in a warming matter, grabbing a paper bag to place the pastries in

kiyoomi stares at you, observing you quietly— you could feel his cold stare, even though he’s wearing a medical face mask, that covers about half of his face

you blink, not knowing what is going through his head, and you gesture to his daughter to take them

you clearly don’t know who he is— and that gives kiyoomi some sort of relief, compared to the other customers that are murmuring to each other “sakusa kiyoomi’s here with his daughter! is this what he does in his free time?”

kiyoomi takes the paper bag, giving some sort of non verbal acknowledgement, before he takes his daughter’s hand and leaves

“bye, kind person!” seina calls out to you, which catches you off guard— this causes your coworkers to coo at the girl’s words

“didn’t know sakusa’s daughter was so cute!”

and you’d assume that your interactions with the quiet stranger and his daughter would end at that, but no! life is full of surprises.

the tall masked father comes in again, a little bit before closing time— you were absolutely beat, your back feeling as if boulders were glued to the back, and your feet burning from all of the rush

“oh, what could i do for you?”

he stays quiet, but a small presence sticks behind him, and peers up to you. the face is familiar to you, so you wave “hi there! it’s nice to see you again.”

“i wanna say thanks.” her rounded eyes practically shimmer when they lay themselves on the pastries again, but she shakes her head “for the pastries! they’re very tasty.”

“i’m glad you like them, what was your favorite part of the pastry?”

“the filling! twas yummy!” she gives a toothy grin, “tell me, where ‘dya learn to bake like that?”

kiyoomi stares at the scene unfolding before him. it was.. new. unfamiliar— he hasn’t seen his daughter act like this with anyone else— besides him and his team mates. so, he simply watched.

seina babbled and babbled, much to the your amusement— and the other staff members. you listened to her with your full attention, your interest never wavering in the slightest

it’s a bit later, kiyoomi holds a tired seina in his arms— you expect him to leave the bakery, his daughter’s wishes been fulfilled, and he wouldn’t have a reason to stick around

but then he presents to you a large stack of cash “for the pastries. my,, daughter really liked them.”

your eyes widen, “sir! i told you, the pastries were on the house!” you shake your head, “either way, i can’t take this! it’s too much for some pastries!”

“no, seina insists. in fact, she’s entirely why i’m here.” his tone stays consistent, but even with the mask— you could tell that he’s smiling. “she’s well,, everything. if she’s set on something, then she’ll do everything to achieve her goal.”

you smile at the statement, “thanks for bringing her here sir..?”

kiyoomi hesitates to tell you his name for a moment, an unfamiliar, yet familiar pound in his chest rises— he chooses to not figure it out right now, considering that it would be too soon to pursue a romantic relationship.

but, if his daughter brought him here, then it must be for a reason. “kiyoomi.”

“right,” you smile, “thanks for coming here, kiyoomi. you can give me a call, if seina wants any more pastries.” you write your number on a piece of paper, and hand it to him

he doesn’t reply, but he does take the piece of paper anyway— keeping it in his pocket

and for once, he thinks that he doesn’t hate having to go to the bakery weekly., because there’ll be a warm presence there to greet him— and of course, seina.

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own hq!! and it’s characters. haikyuu!! belongs to furudate haruichi, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission :))

2K notes · View notes

its-deputy-caleb · 2 years

Text

okay this is kinda irrelevant bc i already have my pronouns in my bio but ima use this post as like a mini story about me if you wanna read and also just to solidify my own experience. (there’s a nice little message if you just wanna read the last few paragraphs) — anyway here is my

✨ I’m Coming out as non-binary post!! ✨

i think this break has come at a good time for me and while i can’t wait to get back to writing i definitely needed moment to finally come to terms with myself and i’ve been wanting to do this for a long time.

i feel way more accepted on here and i feel as though i can be honest and express myself and i’m now at a point in my life where i’m happier with myself and who i am to a point where i’m comfortable with the label/term of non binary and feel comfortable with all pronouns but more specifically they/them.

(if you wanna read more i’m just gonna put some of my personal experiences under the cut and i’ll use this as a trigger warning as i’m gonna talk about my past experiences with a verbally abusive family and my struggles with mental health)

*a disclaimer these are purely my own experiences, people have different ones but this is more just my interpretation of things pls don’t be offend <3 and a trigger warning because i’m gonna talk about some verbal abuse and mental health disorders next so please don’t read if it’s triggering.

The early years of high school were particularly rough as i’d come out as bisexual and my friends, family and other loved ones didn’t understand or were not accepting at all since i come from a heavily catholic conservative family and most of my high school experience had been at single sex religious schools which really ruined my mental health and is something i’m still recovering from.

However i realised soon that coming to terms with my sexuality was really only half of the problem as there was still a apart of me that still wasn’t okay and i sort of knew it but couldn’t place my finger on it. A friend of mine who already identified as non-binary took me to their house one day and actually showed me a binder and let me put on some of their more masculine clothes and they cut my hair really short. As corny as it sounds in that moment i’d never felt more like myself and i couldn’t stop smiling and they showed me this new idea of what gender could really be and i was really comfortable with identifying as ftm and transgender.

now before i continue i am completely aware that you don’t choose to be transgender and it’s who you are and it’s not about cherry picking but it’s something that you can’t change but i’m going to explain myself.

for years i was out and identifying as transgender with my friends who were mildly supportive but they were blessings compared to my family who made it their chore every day to dehumanise me and belittle me for my looks. They’d always misgender me, some even going to lengths as to call me ‘it’ from my own family. My mother told me i had to live with my father because she was so disgusted with who i was and my father was no different.

i felt like i was abandoned by my family because every single one of them had an issue with my identity one way or another and i won’t go into detail but it has left me with serious anxiety, depression and an eating disorder and i still struggle with all three of them.

despite this i kept my head up for years and endured every day because it is truly something that feels so right to me. But there was a time when i had to put my mental health first because i could not stand the things they said and so i got through high school in a single sex religious school without any trouble and kept my feelings hidden.

now whenever someone asks me if i prefer a he/him pronoun i experience so much trauma and anxiety that it feels almost wrong because i’ve been conditioned that way but i also don’t like she/her all that much either. So for a few years now i’ve been slowly exploring different parts of myself and i’m actually helping myself heal.

coming to terms with being non-binary makes me feel 1) extremely safe and happy and 2) i realised now that i like expressing femininity, masculinity and neither all at the one time.

it’s also made me reconnect with my family and it’s taken a lot of hard work but we’re slowly getting into better waters but i’m so much happier and healthier now that i’m an adult and independent. And i’d like to make it clear that i’m absolutely okay and happy and healthy (this is not a cry for help this is me just accepting myself and sharing it— i’m in a good place <3)

now i’m so independent and healthy with my life and i feel comfortable with myself for the first time in a long time. i manage classes, work and my personal life while fitting in my writing on here and i never hesitate to take breaks and put myself first because one thing all of this has taught me is that i deserve to take care of myself.

At this point in my life i’m so happy with who i am and while it’s not perfect because life never is i can truly honestly say that this blog has somewhat influenced some of the more recent decisions.

even something as small as seeing my favourite artists write a gender neutral piece or the fact that there are both male and female o/c’s and readers can be extremely validating and so i also want to take the time to say a huge thank you to have an audience and have people love my work but also a thank you for just letting me feel safe and accepted on here.

love you all <33

#thank y’all for reading this if u see it #means the world #<33 #personal post #coming out post #long post #tw mental health #tw gender confusion

20 notes · View notes

reluctant-mandalore · 3 years

Text

Because You’re You (Din Djarin x Reader)

Warnings: Fluff, established relationship, pinning/yearning (only a little at the start), reader is asexual, reader is short, gender neutral pronouns used for the reader. Soft boyfriend Din. like very slight emotional hurt/comfort, its not super heavy or anything. Its pretty much just fluff.

Word Count: 1,797

Pairing: Din Djarin x gn!Reader (reader is also short and asexual)

a/n: @remmyswritings Thank you for requesting! I’ve never written an asexual reader before so I hope I did the fic justice. I’m a bit nervous about it tbh, but I really do hope you enjoy. This fic mostly features Din being soft and affirming the fact that he loves the reader very much and them being asexual doesn’t change this. He’s just all around a lovely fluff ball with supporting them.

The Mandalorian was always nervous about meeting new people. Over his years of bounty work, he had found that trust was a hard thing to come by. People were willing to stab you in the back without a second thought out there in the outer rim. So, it was safe to say that he was a little concerned when it came to meeting you for the first time.

Cara had vouched for you though, insisting that you were trustworthy and would do great with the kid. He was uneasy with the whole arrangement and was unsure of if he should even go to the meeting. Although, his trust for Cara and his need for someone to help him with the child had pushed him to go anyway. He knew that he should at least meet you before making up his mind on the matter, especially since you were a close friend of Cara’s.

When he did finally meet you, the first thing he noticed about you was how small you were compared to him. He practically towered over your own form, and he almost felt like a giant when standing before you that day. The next thing he noticed was your smile. It was one of the sweetest ones he had ever seen, dripping with kindness and brightening the room in an instant. Din had immediately known from that moment on that he never wanted to stop seeing that smile of yours.

Yes. Din Djarin—one of the most feared warriors in the Galaxy—had effectively begun to fall in love with you all thanks to a simple smile.

Overtime with you working on the Razor Crest, he had started to learn more about you and who you were as a person. He had seen how kind and patient you were, watching from afar as you looked after the child like he was your own. He admired your brilliance and found himself in awe at hearing you laugh. Everything about you was amazing in his eyes and each new thing he learned made him want to know more.

These discoveries had only solidified his growing feelings towards you, making his drop of infatuation develop into a full blown crush all too soon. He had found himself feeling things he had never felt before for another person—things he thought he wouldn’t ever feel.

At first your affection between one another came in small waves. Sometimes it was only a simple brush of the fingers or a touch of the shoulder. Other times it was a gentle compliment or flirtatious praise. Each one allowing your feelings for one another to grow more and more with every passing day.

Admittedly, he wasn’t the greatest with flirting, and at times he felt awkward when he tried to flirt with you. He had never really had the chance to experience a love like this—one that was soft and kind—making it completely foregin to him. Although, he had found himself desperately craving it and he wanted to confess these feelings of his to you. He wanted to be with and loved by you more than anything, though he never thought it would ever happen.

Stuff like that just didn’t happen for a man like himself.

Eventually Din had let it slip by mistake the one day. He had said it so simply and nonchalantly that he hadn’t even caught himself saying it. The realization of his accidental confession only came to be, when you had stared at him in shock and questioned him on what he had just said. Instantly, his cheeks had warmed with a blush, the next words leaving him turning into a muddled heap. He had tried to back track on what he had said, afraid of having just ruined the still developing relationship between you two.

Though the smile you wore on your face had made him pause his frantic rambling. Soon finding himself once again feeling lost while gazing at your captivating smile. His trance only breaking when the words that had left you caused for his own smile to form on his cheeks.

“Din I love you too.”

From there on out, you two were a couple through and through. Nothing could ever seem to get in between you two. You both were supportive with one another, and always seemed to have the other person's back. The relationship you had together appeared to be a perfect one, and it was something he cherished everyday.

Well, that was until he had noticed you suddenly acting differently around him.

Din could tell something was on your mind. He could see it in how you walked and noticed it in your unfocused gaze. You had started to look away from him in passing, sometimes avoiding him all together, your usual bright smile now missing completely.

The sight of you so down had made him feel worried and concerned. He didn’t like seeing you so upset all the time and he wanted you to feel comfortable enough with telling him things. Although, he really had no idea of how to bring this up to you, as he wasn’t well versed when it came to addressing these types of things.

For most of his life, he hadn’t been the most emotionally invested person. He had built up walls around himself, choosing to lock away his feelings in order to protect what was left of his already shattered heart. So when it came to talking or comforting someone, he found himself at a loss of words, unsure of what to say or what to do.

So, he didn’t say anything, instead choosing to comfort you through small gestures. Sometimes it was something simple, like buying your favourite snack at the market or leaving little notes for you around the ship. Other times it was through him taking the child off your hands for the day, or even staying in bed a little longer to cuddle with you in the morning.

Din knew that when you were ready to talk to him that you would. It didn’t matter how long he had to wait. All that mattered to him was you feeling comfortable and ready when you did. Until then, he would continue to support you the best way he could and knew how to.

“Din?” your quiet voice spoke to him one day, briefly pulling his attention away from the crate he had been rummaging through, “I need to tell you something.”

Hearing those words from you had instantly caused the man to completely pause what he was doing, turning to give you his full attention, “of course cyar’ika, what is it?”

Din had watched silently as you shifted awkwardly on the spot. His fingers twitching with the need to cup your cheek and comfort you away from whatever was currently clouding your mind. His heart had ached at your worried expression, and he soon found himself taking a step towards you, only to pause again when you had finally spoken again.

“I’m asexual.” You had said, biting your lip as you did, “I… it means that I don’t feel a need to have sex.”

Din had blinked in surprise, tilting his head in wonder as he continued to stare at you silently. He wasn’t expecting for you to say something like that in the slightest, though he felt a bubble of relief roll through him at the realization of your words.

“Is that what you’ve been worried about lately?”

“Yes? I mean… of course I was worried!” You said, tears forming at the corner of your eyes, “I was scared that you’d want to break up or leave me because of it.”

“I would never leave you over something like this!” Din had said quickly, his heart dropping at your words and at the sight of the tears leaving you, “I love you more than anything! I would never even consider ending things over this.”

“Really? So you don’t mind?”

“Why would I mind?” he said, titling his head as he looked down at you again, “I mean… You being asexual doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“I… Din are you sure?”

“I’m more than sure.” He affirmed, taking your hands in his as he spoke, “Cyar’ika you’re one of the most important people in my life. I don’t know what I would ever do without you. You’re the most beautiful and wonderful person I know. And I love every bit of you. From your laugh, to your smile, and everything in between. I… Cyar’ika what I’m trying to say is that I love you because you’re you.”

“Really?”

Din had nodded, smiling softly beneath the helmet and brushing away some of your tears, “You being asexual doesn’t change who you are to me, nor does it change the fact that I love you. Cyar’ika you are everything to me and I only wish for you to be comfortable and happy.”

After those words he had pressed his forehead against yours, more small praises leaving his lips in hushed whispers as he did. His compliments were like music to your ears, his soft voice becoming a blanket of love and affection that held you close in its warmth. A few more tears had fallen from your eyes as you felt yourself relax in his arms, allowing for yourself to be swept away in his soothing presence.

“I’m glad you told me.” He had said, pulling back slightly to lock his gaze properly with your own, “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide those things from me. We’re partners and I’m always going to be here to support you Cyar’ika.”

Hearing his words had brought a small smile to your face, and you sniffled quietly while looking up at him, “Thank you Din, for always being so kind and being there for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me cyar’ika,” He said lovingly, as his one hand moved to cup your cheek to brush his thumb against your skin again, “I love you so much and I’m just happy to have you in my life.”

In an instant you had thrown your arms around him, hugging him tightly and burying your face into his chest, “I love you too Din, and I’m happy to have you in my life as well.”

The Mandalorian had hummed in response now, his arms wrapping around you again as he rested his chin on the top of your head. He had held you like that for a while, allowing for the whispers of sweet praises and comforting words to leave his modulator once more. The rest of the evening would be spent with you two together, happy and excitedly looking forward to what the future held for the both of you as a couple.

----

155 notes · View notes

passionate-hedgehog · 4 years

Text

Banana

m.list

Shayne Topp x Reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3041

AN: This is my first Shayne x Reader fic. AND it’s now gender neutral! Thank you to @rustyisdead for helping me change up all of the pronouns!

Summary: Helping out a friend ends in a way Shayne wasn’t expecting.

When Shayne offered to help one of his buddies out that went on a week long vacation, he did not think it would require him to interrupt his own schedule as much as it did. He didn’t mind it, honestly. The actor just had to reconfigure his own morning routine to fit his very current yet very temporary situation.

Banana was a golden-doodle. A little more golden than doodle, but a very wonderful dog. She seemed to know that the current human taking care of her wasn’t as...savvy...to how she worked. At least, that’s what Shayne thought. The look in her eyes always spoke of mischief to him. She wasn’t naughty...but she liked to see how far she could push him. She also had very shady moments that made him think she knew more than she was letting on.

Day three out of seven and he was at the point where he remembered he was supposed to drop her off at doggy daycare without forgetting and leaving for his work commute without her. On the first day, he just forgot about her entirely. On the second day, he made it to the doggy day care but without the doggy part. He had to drive all of the way back to his apartment, load her up (but she LOVES car rides, Shayne. It won’t be hard to get her to go! I promise), drive the fifteen minutes to the care center and then to work. He wasn’t going to make that mistake a third time. He was better than that, he told himself.

When he did eventually get to his destination, without forgetting the passenger, he took in the sights. Cute Critters Pet Sitters was a simple brick building but he could tell how much maintenance went into the yard area. He couldn’t see a lot but the fencing seemed to go on forever. The actor leashed up his current canine companion and walked her into the building, following the very well placed directions. Banana got signed in and the attendant at the front desk took her to where Shayne assumed the other dogs were. He wasn’t sure. This whole thing was new to him.

“Mr. Williams? Are you still able to help out this week for the renovation?” One of the front desk attendants asked.

Shayne paused and looked around, because out of all of the things he had been forgetting that week, his name wasn’t one of them. But when he realized that she was looking directly at him, he realized there must have been a misconception.

“Oh, I’m not...I’m not him. I’m just dropping off his dog this week.” The actor replied .

The woman pursed her lips. “Oh, I apologize. Banana’s owner was slated to help out with our indoor renovation project this week. I’ll have to tell Mx. L/n that he’s no longer available. Which is an honest shame.

Shayne looked abashed.

“I see Banana is here! Is her human still here, too?” A different voice called from the gymnasium Banana had been walked into.

“I’m afraid not, Y/n.” The receptionist replied as the worker from the gymnasium walked into the foyer. “He was dropped off by someone else today. And will be for the rest of this week, correct?”

Shayne only nodded in reply. The receptionist seemed to think her job was done and walked off somewhere Shayne couldn’t see, not that he was bothering to look. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the person standing before him. They were wearing a leopard cat ear headband that had distracted him.

The worker began to wring their hands together. “He won’t be here today? At all? Or this week? We were really looking forward to his help.”

“I’m sorry,” Shayne shrugged. “He’s on vacation. I’m dog-sitting Banana for him. That’s why she wasn’t here the last two days. Was it something monetarily? I can shoot him a quick text…”

“Oh, no! Nothing like that! Please, don’t interrupt his vacation! It just kinda...sucks. He promised to help with renovating our playroom-slash-gymnasium. He was our first volunteer for it so we were hoping it was showing us his excitement and so we got excited...not too many of the pet parents volunteered…”The worker then sighed deeply while rubbing their forehead with both hands.

The actor noticed how distressed and let down they seemed. They must have been really looking forward to someone willing to come in on their own time and help out. Shayne didn’t like the idea that his friend promised to give time to help out and then just didn’t. He almost felt...responsible for the current situation. Not that he felt like he caused it...but that he had the opportunity to amend it. So he did what any responsible person would do.

“Do you...I could help?”

“Really?!” L/n clasped their hands together and looked like they could start jumping up and down at any point. Shayne offhandedly wondered if they learned any traits from the dogs they played with all day.

“Yeah, I mean, I pick Banana up after work anyway. I could stop in and see if you guys still needed help? I don’t know what all I could do. But I could probably do something.” Shayne nodded as if trying to convince himself more than L/n.

“Sweet home Alabama. That would be PERFECT.” They then pulled him into a big hug and then released him with a smile that seemed larger than what should be possible. “Awesome! AHHH!!! Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!”

After solidifying what time he would be back to pick up Banana and check in on what they needed, the actor left for his work commute. He started up his car and texted his best friend.

Shayne: I just had a crazy time bringing Banana to daycare. I’ll be to set... soon.

Damien: You mean “late”?

Shayne: Tomato tomahto.

Filming half a month's worth of content in one day would always be exhausting to Shayne. No matter how long he had been doing his job, he was always exhausted after the long days of filming. The last thing Shayne wanted to do was put in more physical labor but he made a promise and breaking a promise was not something he did. So, when he made his way back into the care center, he made sure L/n knew he was there to do what they needed to get done.

“I’m so grateful you still came to help.” They mentioned while they moved the enrichment items from the big gym to a storage closet. “I know that the last thing anyone wants to do after a long work day is renovation work. But I’m very thankful, Shayne.”

The man squinted. “You know, now that I think about it, I don’t think I told any of you my name.”

Y/n seemed to be too busy, conveniently, to look him in the face. “Hm...yeah? Huh…”

When he didn’t say anything after a minute the worker groaned. They turned back to face him and scratched at the back of their head and scrunched their face up. “I...might be a fan. Of YouTube. A few different things...SMOSH things…”

“Oh, well I’m honored.” He gave them a smile as if to placate their worry. “I don’t really run into too many fans here in L.A. Not that I’m complaining. But it’s nice to hear every so often.”

“My niece got me into it with one of your sketches and I’ve been hooked since. You guys do good work. She watches them on days when being a teenager is too hard and they make her feel better. So, thank you, I guess.” L/n giggled as they resumed putting things on shelves.

Shayne followed suit and the two kept busy organizing the storage room while talking about everyday things. At some point, when Shayne called them “Miss/Mr L/n”, they corrected him.

“You can just call me ‘Y/n’. We’re not in a terribly professional relationship, right? You’re just helping out in the storage room for a few hours.” They said as they climbed up the shelf to reach the top of another. “Plus, I’d really just like to hear you say my name.”

Shayne wasn’t sure he heard them right until he noticed that they stopped moving altogether.

“Please tell me that I said that on the inside and not on the outside…”

The man gave a small chuckle. “I can’t do that. I’m not good at lying.”

Y/n threw their head back, gave a big sigh, and began to climb down the shelving unit. At some point though, their foot had somehow slipped on something and they felt their body not going where they wanted it to. They then braced themself for the impact of their back meeting the floor but it never came. There was the feeling of two hands on their back gently pressing them in the direction of the shelving unit. One of the two hands moved from the middle of their back to their lower back and they were helped down.

“Jesus, Y/n. Do you have a ladder so you don’t do that again?” Shayne asked as they turned towards him.

The worker didn’t answer, but instead hugged him. “I’m so freaking scared of heights and that was terrifying. Oh my God, thank you.”

“Yeah, of course.” Shayne gently patted them on the back. “I’m glad I was here to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”

“My heart literally fell. I know it wasn’t that far off of the ground but I don’t even like step ladders like I just really don’t…” They finally looked up into his eyes and they locked. “Uh…”

After realizing they had stopped communicating for a moment, they pulled apart awkwardly. Shayne took a step back and shoved his hands into his coat pockets and looked anywhere that wasn’t at them. “Right. Well…”

Y/n blushed but smiled in a humored way. “Shall we work on moving in the bigger items? The tunnels that are back in the gym need to be broken down and put against that wall. It should only take a few minutes. We won’t need anything else done tonight.”

Shayne nodded and the two began the last bit of work before Y/n could begin painting. This time the two didn’t talk as much as they stole glances at each other. Sometimes they’d look at the same time and end up smiling like teenagers seeing their class crush. The rest of the evening went on like that until the playroom was emptied. Y/n dusted their hands off together and stretched.

“So, you’re painting this whole gym alone? Or are the other workers helping?”Shayne looked around trying to figure out what their plans were.

“Oh, heavens no. There are some small decorative details that need to be painted and then we’re going to have the floor deep cleaned. I’m going to go through the storage rooms, all of them, and see if there’s anything that needs to be tossed out or what needs to be fixed. It’ll help us plan our budget for next year. I’m super stoked. I want to get some new activities for the pups. OH!” They then jogged to where their phone was sitting on a chair and started swiping through it.

Shayne watched as they bit her lip and quickly searched for something. They had then made their way back to him and was angling the phone almost in his. They began to share with him their thoughts on what to get to improve on the indoor activities and he observed as they got enthralled with what they were talking about. He didn’t really understand all of it but he noted how excited they got when explaining the puppy teeter totter on their pinterest board. The picture captured a pit bull that was basically smiling as he was mid climb. They also gushed about how they were suckered into the item because of the smile.

“I’m a sucker for smiling pitties. It’s a curse, really. I can’t stand it.”

“I think it’s pretty neat how excited you’re getting over this. I can’t wait to see how it ends up. These dogs are so lucky to be here with you looking after them.” The blonde actor had somehow ended up with one of his arms on the workers waist. “They’re going to love it.”

“Yeah?” They turned into him.

“Oh, absolutely.” He brought his other arm up to meet them together.

They bit their lip as she kept their gazes locked. “You promise?”

He just nodded.

“I think Banana is very ready to go home!” A voice called from the other end of the gymnasium.

The two broke apart and Shayne gave a self conscious cough. “Right..uh...I’ll see you tomorrow when I drop off Banana, Y/n?”

The worker just nodded in response, watching the man leave the care center with the leashed dog.

After Shayne got Banana in the car and he himself was buckled in, he grasped the wheel and sighed with an emotion he wasn’t sure he could identify. He ran his hand through his blonde hair and started the car. Before he put the car in reverse, he looked into the mirror and noticed Banana looking at him from the backseat.

“I know, Banana. I shouldn’t. I don’t have the time for a relationship or the energy most days.”

The dog blinked.

“Blink one more time if you think this is a bad idea. Blink two more times if you think it’s a good idea.

Banana responded by laying down, not blinking at all. She seemed to be too tired for Shayne’s love life drama.

“Same, girl. Same.” He put the car in reverse and made his way out of the parking lot.

The next day started off in a hurry. Shayne was late to dropping off Banana, so he didn’t see Y/n at drop-off. Somehow, though, he was still late to work even though he didn’t have any distractions, pleasant or unpleasant. He wasn’t quite sure which category Y/n fell into.

When he eventually arrived at work (Late two days in a row, Shayne? You can’t opt out of Eat It or Yeet It if you’re not here to put your vote in.), he went straight to set for a SMOSHcast recording. He knew he’d be clowned for being any amount of late so he didn’t let it bother him. He just put on the headphones and jumped right into it.

Advicecasts had become something he really enjoyed doing. He didn’t fully understand why people kept asking them for help but he loved doing it. He felt like it was a time he could truly give back to fans in a different way. Different questions and situations went through the conversation and Shayne was proud of himself for not letting his thoughts drift off too far.

“Alright, this next one is one a few of us could relate to.” Ian, his boss, began. “It reads ‘I have this amazing job that I can’t believe I have, it’s a dream come true. But lately I’ve been thinking about dating and having a partner, I know it’s something I want in the end. I try looking but time and energy isn’t something my job offers. What would you guys do in this position?’”

Sarah and Damien both gave “ooooh’s”.

“Well,” the producer seemed to take a second to collect her thoughts. “I think it really has a lot to do with where do you want to put your energy? Where do you want it going? In the end, what would you rather have in your hands? Your dream job or your dream partner? It’s a hard question to ask and answer, but you’re truly the only person that can make that decision. Maybe you can balance the both of them and make it work. That’s the ideal situation. But it might not workout that way. Honestly you’ll never know until you try. You have to actually get out there to try to figure out what it is you want more.”

Shayne hoped it wasn’t obvious, but it probably was, that he slightly checked out after Sarah’s input. He had disregarded dating in its entirety because of his job. He was constantly on set, or traveling, or working on other projects that he was blessed to book.There wasn’t a point where he thought he’d be able to enjoy a relationship fully. But maybe if he put in the effort...now that SMOSH was running smoother since his most recent relationship...maybe it’d be ok?

Shayne walked up to the receptionist during pick-up to let them know he was there. When no one was at the desk, he walked himself to the playroom where he didn’t expect to see what was before him. Some of the dogs were laying on their backs just hanging out, and Y/n was there with them. They were laying on their back, also, staring at the ceiling. The whole thing looked super chill and Shayne wanted to join in.

Y/n turned their head in his direction as he laid next to them. Their arms almost touching, They gave a gentle smile and the actor returned it. He was very surprised that none of the dogs jumped up to meet him when he walked in. Wasn’t that what dogs did?

“It’s nap time.” Y/n explained as if they could read his mind. “We’re promoting a calm environment after the excitement of finding a mouse in the courtyard earlier today. Things got a little cray, but now we’re enjoying some quiet time.”

After a moment, Shayne just barely felt something touch his hand closest to Y/n. Once he recognized it as their fingers, he closed the distance and just held their hand. Sarah was right. Shayne needed to put his energy towards the things he wanted the most. And what he wanted the most was to see what he and Y/n could become. He just had to go for it.

#shayne topp x reader #shayne topp #smosh fanfic #smosh #smosh shayne #fluff #fluffierthanapillow #shaynetoppxreader #readerinsert #stressedshayne #workstress #gender neutral reader #gender neutral pronouns

146 notes · View notes

naeunsfm · 3 years

Photo

hi everyone ! as mentioned in the chat , my name’s kofi , i’m twenty4 , a lover of cheap phone games , and i prefer either she / her or they / them pronouns . naeun is a brand new muse of mine so i’m still working through any kinks that may arise , but i’m sure that as i get to develop her , i’ll figure it all out ! that being said , underneath the cut you can find her intro !

( MOON GA YOUNG , 26 , CIS WOMAN , SHE / HER ) * hey , i’m looking for the office of NAEUN HAN . they’re the EMPLOYEE who’s known around the office as the POOR LITTLE RICH GIRL , if that helps ? not to be a gossip , but i’ve heard that they’re BUOYANT but CAVALIER , is that true ? i also heard that she’s the one that BROKE THE NESPRESSO MACHINE ON HER FIRST DAY . anyways , here’s the coffee they ordered .

template credit to @ngoeuns !

name : han naeun . nicknames : went by nancy during her school years. age + date of birth : 26 + april 3rd , 1994 . zodiac : aries . moral alignment : chaotic neutral . gender + pronouns : cis woman + she / her / hers . place of birth : yeongdeungpo-gu , seoul , south korea . place of residence : new york city , new york . orientation : bisexual biromantic . occupation : wardrobe stylist , cut off rich girl . nationality : korean - american . ethnicity : korean . languages spoken : korean , english , conversational japanese .

background.

naeun han was born in seoul , south korea to her relatively rich parents , ji - cheol and sang - mi . with ji - cheol as a successful private doctor and sang - mi owning her own business , life was comfortable for the han family . the family was living in seoul at the time , and had plans to leave for the states , but their plans were put on hold when sang - mi found out she was pregnant . the couple decided to stay in seoul for two years , and relocated to new york shortly after naeun’s seond birthday . the small family settled into the neighborhood of jamaica estates , and they started their comfortable life .

growing up , naeun was a girl who was ridiculously spoiled . it showed in her themed birthday parties , in her gifts , and in the way that her father would easily hand over his credit card when she wanted to go shopping . however , although naeun was spoiled by her parents , she was also heavily ignored . the gifts , the clothes , and the birthday parties were simply a show that they were caring parents , but in reality they were simply too busy for her . naeun can remember being told that her parents would be there for recitals , but they’d never show up . even if she were picked up by her father , she could barely say how her day was before he went back to having a conversation with other people .

naeun could have been considered as one of the popular girls on her private school campus . it mostly stems from the fact that she had money , but she also had parents who seemingly didn’t care . she could go to parties , hang out until late with her friends , and when they went on business trips , her house was the place to party . the only person that naeun had the most respect for was the family’s housekeeper , as her parents only paid attention to her when she had gotten into trouble . there was no praise when she was passing her honors courses , but when she purposefully let a grade slip , then she had gotten an ear full . if there was one thing naeun was looking forward to , it was college .

so when the time comes , naeun couldn’t be happier that she was accepted to the new school . although it was that far away from her parents , she was grateful for the chance to be from underneath their watchful eye . despite that , her parents still expected the best from her , so she made sure to do well while studying liberal arts . naeun graduates , and immediately goes into studying fashion studies for her masters degree . while there , naeun participates in various apprenticeships , and her most prominent was working with proenza schouler that solidifies her love for fashion . naeun graduates from the parson school of design , obtaining her masters , and is surprised when she finally receives praise from her parents.

for a little over a year , naeun decides to take it easy . she vacations , spends money frivolously , and even manages to spark up something of a following on social media . she spends her time sitting front row at various fashion shows and spending time in seoul . eventually , as he often did , ji - cheol steps into naeun’s life and wonders when his daughter will stop living like she has no problems . at that point , he decides to cut his daughter off from the limitless credit cards and extravagant lifestyle she was used to . her parents make her move out into her own apartment ( which they bought but whatever ) , and was expected to land a job in three months .

tired of her parents only finding faults with all she does , naeun hits the ground running with finding a job . there were times where she couldn’t get interviews or even a call back , but she never stopped . eventually , as the three months were coming to an end , she lands a job at masters international . she lands the job as wardrobe stylist , and for once , she can rub in her parents’ face that she’s capable of providing for herself . so , naeun has been working at masters for a little over a year now , and is often the first point of contact when someone needs to put together an outfit . if she’s not breaking nespresso machines , you can find her in her office or on a photoshoot set .

headcanons.

naeun , despite being cut off , is still spoiled as hell . she tends to let this side of her come out when she’s being lazy , and often will expect that others will do something for her even if she doesn’t ask ( and please , tell her no ) .

she has the temperament of a petulant child . sometimes she’s happy , sometimes she’s moody , and most of the time she’s upset over something minor .

she’s a pot stirrer ! do not tell her your business or she’s gonna spill the beans , mostly as an effort to cause drama . the phrase ‘ throws a rock and hides her hand ’ was coined because of naeun . she’s messy , but at least she’ll own up to it . . . sometimes .

she is extremely anal about her skincare / makeup routine , and doesn’t deviate from either if it would make her late . she’s the friend who you swear worked at sephora or ulta in a past life because she knows everything there is to know about various products . a skincare fridge user , and definitely the girl who starts her morning with jade rollers and chugging down lemon ice water .

her main style inspo is freddy cousin - brown ( freddy on instagram ! ) . this means lots of pale tones , matching skirt and top sets , perfectly chosen accessories , and of course , the most perfect blowout to ever exist .

you know those scenes in 2000s romantic comedy films where the main character and her friend are driving , but they’re screaming the whole time ? live footage of naeun when driving , mostly because she only got her driver’s license about a year ago ( olivia rodrigo WHO ) and even then , she doesn’t drive often .

even though her parents essentially kicked her out , they still bought her apartment , so it’s this really fancy place in manhattan ! the main difference is she can’t afford housekeepers and the like , so she’s had to learn how to take care of herself in every form . be careful when coming to her place though , as she was able to get a two bedroom ( primarily for closet space ) , but she has so many clothes that they’ve taken up nearly every free space in her apartment NFJDFJD .

#masters.intro #i'm finished finally pyltrotkriyjtr

12 notes · View notes

shotgun--rider · 4 years

Text

One Digit Off

A Jared x Reader Oneshot

After a hard day at work, Y/N just wants some peace and quiet. Instead, an accidental phone call might just change the whole evening.

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: Brief discussion of suicide attempt (not a main character), bad t-shirt puns, cat Rowena, useless fluff

*Reader gender/pronouns: any

A/N: Some silly apology fluff because I’ve been a useless rat about posting.

The couch in your living room was an overstuffed monstrosity that liked to consume anyone that sat on it, slowly but surely. It had been a thrift-store purchase in college years ago that somehow left anyone who sat on it pulled so far into the cushions that there was almost no leverage to stand back up. Nevertheless, it made the perfect place to hide at the end of a long week.

After the exhausting and entirely depressing shift you’d had at work, you wanted nothing more than to give in and let the couch eat you. You were wearing your favorite old, worn novelty t-shirt, the completely stupid one that read ‘SQUIRRELS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN’, and an equally embarrassing pair of shorts with tie-dyed handprints on your butt. Armed with a plate of haphazard snacks, you settled in on the hungry hippo couch, laying sprawled sideways and accepting your fate. You’d already taken a shower and jammed your hair behind a messy bandana, solidifying your look of “disaster got run over by a truck”. It was classy.

You just wanted to get cozy, watch some TV that you knew well enough not to have to think about anymore, and try to forget the sounds of a hysterical ten year old in your headset, screaming that Mommy was killing herself.

Working as a 911 dispatcher meant that you heard people in the worst moments of their lives all the time, and most of the time, they hung up without you ever hearing the ending. You were trained to talk down panicked callers, to get the most important information out of them in the quickest and safest way possible, to keep everyone calm and everyone alive until the first responders got there. And you were good at what you did, good at compartmentalizing what you listened to so that it didn’t follow you home, so that it didn’t distract you. And most of the time that worked.

You blew out your breath and refocused on the TV, having put on one of your old favorite Supernatural episodes as a distraction. Your black cat was huddled up kneading her paws on your feet, the couch was slowly swallowing you between the cushions and the backrest, and the hollowness in your chest eased bit by bit as you listened to Sam and Dean bicker.

On the coffee table in front of you, just past your snack plate and out of reach, your phone lit up, buzzing with a FaceTime call. You lifted your head halfheartedly to peer at the screen, unable to make out the caller at the angle you were at. It didn’t matter anyway; you weren’t in the mood to talk to anyone. Besides, it wasn’t like you really had anyone in your contacts who would be especially put out if you waited until tomorrow to talk to them. Your friends were all very casual people.

Stuffing a ranch-dipped cucumber slice into your mouth while you were sitting up, you proceeded to flop back down onto the couch, earning a death look from Rowena for moving your feet.

“Yeah, yeah,” you muttered to the cat. “You’re the one sitting on my feet, you know what you signed up for,”

And now you were talking to your cat. Great. This was probably the sort of thing that kept you perpetually single, you reflected absently. There weren’t a lot of people out there in the market for a put-crazy-cat-ladies-to-shame introvert who worked weird hours and was more awkward than entertaining. Not that it mattered, though. You weren’t really relationship material in general, you’d found, and after realizing how many boyfriends you just seemed to inevitably disappoint, you’d decided you were fine being single.

Ten minutes later, just as Sam was losing his shoe down a storm drain, your phone buzzed again. There was no contact photo coming up, which probably meant it was a wrong number, and you ignored it once more. Until it rang again, and again, followed by a flurry of pinging text messages.

Cursing to yourself as you fought your way upright (dislodging Rowena, who hissed at you), you flailed for the phone, not bothering to read the texts as you picked it up. If a wrong number was going to call you that many times, they either had an emergency or really needed to be set straight. Pushing your bandana higher off of your forehead carelessly, you swiped to answer the FaceTime call, setting it on the couch next to you without even looking at the video loading on the screen as you fumbled to pause the TV. “God, what!” you snapped in the vague direction of your phone. “Stop hissing at me, cat,” you added irritably for Rowena’s benefit.

There was a long pause, and then a man’s voice. “Um,” he said inelegantly. “I’m sorry?”

Rowena prowled over to the phone, then, batting at it with one paw and nosing the screen inquisitively. “Rowena, you menace!” You reached over, trying to pry the phone out from where she was currently sitting on half of it, sighing heavily.

“Hey, look, I think you called the wrong number, and I’m really sorry my cat’s sitting on you right now--” you started, just barely able to make out the bottom half of a man’s torso in a loose gray shirt from underneath Rowena’s black fur.

A laugh, then, “No, it’s a cute cat. Well, as far as I can tell,”

Your phone’s speaker was muffled by Rowena’s tail, but there was something about that voice that almost sounded familiar. “Jesus Christ, Ro, let me apologize to this guy properly,” you huffed, failing once more to pull your phone free when she batted her paws at you defensively, claws out.

“Wait, your cat’s name is Rowena?”

“Uh, yeah,” you frowned, trying to figure out why hearing your cat’s name in a stranger’s voice bothered you so much. “Yeah, I--Rowena give me the phone!” you snapped suddenly, making a dive between her paws. Finally, your cat relinquished the phone, fixing you with an Oscar-worthy dramatic look of anger befitting her namesake before flouncing off the couch. “Damn cat,” you grumbled, finally lifting the phone to get a look at who’d been calling you. At least being virtually sat on by a cat meant he got a little payback for harassing you with calls for the past half hour.

As soon as you brought the phone up to your face, you froze, your slow blinking the only proof that the screen hadn’t just frozen up on you. “Uh.”

He was several years older than the one currently paused on your TV, wearing a black beanie and looking mostly ready for bed, but no, that was definitely Jared freaking Padalecki staring back at you. And you were wearing a squirrel shirt and had a rat’s nest for hair. Clearly, the universe had just built this entire day to laugh at you, because what the fuck.

He was smiling at you, eyes crinkled up at the corners and looking unfairly put together compared to your gremlin-impersonation in the corner screen. “So, are the squirrels having fun?”

“What--oh!” you looked down at your shirt, embarrassment flooding through you, and decided on the spot to go with it. It wasn’t like this could get any weirder. “They were,” you returned, “until somebody called them six times in twenty minutes,”

Jared’s expression turned sheepish. “Yeah...sorry about that. My buddy got a new phone number and I obviously saved it wrong. I wouldn’t have bothered you if I didn’t think it was just Jensen ignoring me,”

A slightly incredulous sounding laugh burst from your lips, and you shifted on the couch, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that you were casually carrying on a conversation with Jared Padalecki. After your cat had sat on him. “You didn’t bother me that much,” you conceded. “Sorry I snapped at you. Rough day.”

“Oh yeah?” Jared tucked one arm behind his head, shifting around but never taking his eyes away from your face. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Um,” you faltered, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You didn’t need to spill your guts to a random wrong number who also happened to be one of your favorite actors. What you did need to do was get out of this with some decency, hang up the phone, and forget about it.

“You don’t have to,” Jared was saying softly, his forehead pinched like he was concerned about you. (Which was laughable).

“No…” you shook your head, wrinkling your nose. “I don’t know, I just...isn’t this weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“Uh, talking to a stranger because of a misdial?”

Jared pouted, his eyes turning dangerously puppy-looking. “And here I thought you liked me,”

“Wishful thinking, Padalecki,” you shot back without thinking, only realizing after the words were already out that you’d just confirmed that you knew who he was.

Meanwhile, Jared’s eyes had lit up triumphantly. “If you know who I am, then you’re not talking to a total stranger,” he pointed out, smiling easily at you.

He didn’t seem like he minded, but that did little to put you at ease. Pinching the bridge of your nose to stave off a stress headache, you sighed. “I’m sorry, that’s got to be so awkward, I--”

“What? No,” Jared just looked genuinely confused. “You’ve got a cat named Rowena, I kind of figured you’d know who I was,”

You groaned, covering your entire face with your hand now as embarrassment burned through your cheeks. “You probably think I’m some crazed wild fan, naming my cat after a character,”

“I don’t,” Jared reassured you firmly. “I think you’re funny, and I like the squirrel shirt,”

You peeked out from between your fingers. Jared Padalecki liked your dumb squirrel shirt. “You’re just saying that,”

He laughed, shaking his head. “No, I’m not! This is the best thing to happen to me all week,”

“You must have had a pretty lame week,” you observed sarcastically, leaning toward your phone to better examine your own image in the corner. “I look like a gremlin,”

“You do not!” Jared was laughing at you now, shaking his head emphatically. “You look cute,”

“I look--and feel--like I crawled out of a trash can, but thank you,” you deadpanned, a yawn distracting you from Jared’s further counterargument. You heard the smile in his voice before you opened your eyes to see it, and something caught in your chest at his soft expression.

“Tired?” he asked gently, shifting onto his stomach on the screen, face propped up on a pillow to look at you. Vaguely, in the back of your mind, that surrealness of being on a FaceTime call with Jared Padalecki was still there, but mostly, it just felt unbelievably normal.

“Twelve hour shift,” you confirmed with a nod, one hand moving beside you to lazily pet Rowena, who had apparently decided to forgive you. At the look of puzzlement on Jared’s face, you elaborated, “I’m a 911 dispatcher,”

“So when you say you had a rough day…” Jared’s face cleared in understanding, his expression patient. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want,” he reminded you softly, falling silent after that as if just content to watch your gremlin face on his screen. (Which would be ridiculous).

Your mind flickered back to the sound of the panicked girl on your headset, and you sighed. “No, it’s fine. I, uh, picked up a call from a girl today. Moriah. She was ten. She, uh, she found her mom in the bathtub with a knife,”

Jared sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry you had to listen to that. Did she...uh, is she okay?”

Your mouth twisted wryly. “That’s the thing. Everybody hangs up as soon as the ambulance gets there. I hope so, though. Kid said she had vitals,”

Jared was shaking his head at you. “And you do that every day,”

“I mean, not every day, it depends on shifts. But yeah.” you shrugged. “I try to help,”

“That’s incredible. You’re incredible.” he murmured softly.

Squirming at the praise, you scowled playfully at him. “You don’t even know me,”

“I’m not taking it back,”

“Yeah, okay,” you feigned annoyance like there wasn’t a blush all over your face. Then you winced, suddenly noting the little red battery symbol on top of your screen. “Crap, my phone’s gonna die,”

That seemed to shake Jared out of just staring vaguely at the phone screen, and you watched him sit up cross legged on his bed, still with that same heart-stopping smile. “Yeah, we should both probably go to bed anyway,”

You sighed with a nod, strangely reluctant to hang up. “I’m still sorry Rowena sat on you,”

Jared laughed, throwing back his head. “I’m not,” he told you brightly. “You probably woulda hung up on me if she hadn’t. Tell her she’s a good cat,”

“I will not, it’ll make her head bigger,” you retorted easily. “Goodnight, Jared,”

Jared touched his fingers briefly to his lips, covering the camera with them a second later. “Goodnight,” he whispered, ending the call before you had any time to process what that meant.

It only took a few minutes for your phone to buzz with a new text, and you opened it with a laugh, scrolling briefly back through Jared’s pestering of “Jensen” before focusing on what he’d sent you this time.

So since you turned out not to be Jensen, I need a name for my contacts

Are you sure you’re keeping my contact? You shot back, smirking at your phone screen.

Yes??? Jared sent back carefully, and you could almost imagine his hesitantly sheepish expression.

Jensen 2. Not-Jensen. Crazy cat lady.

He sent back a sad emoji. C’mon.

Y/N L/N

Goodnight, Y/N.

You tossed your phone back onto the coffee table, falling back into the couch with what was probably a vaguely stunned expression on your face. Jared freaking Padalecki. You fell asleep with a little smile still playing on your lips.

#supernatural fanfiction #supernatural rpf #jared padalecki x reader #jared x reader #spn #rpf #x reader #reader insert #oneshot

85 notes · View notes

medicifm · 3 years

Text

* not me actually writing an intro the night before like i always mean to 😳 hennyway hey biddies , i'm chloe , im in the snowy part of pst , & i use she / her pns . i’ve been . . . . . . . scouring the tags for an rp like this so im so excited to bring this newish muse of mine here ! im here to do the honours of introducing my himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside . . . oscar 🤡

( twenty three , cis man , he / him ) ✉ ― hey babes , have you met OSCAR MEDICI ? they’re working here as THE HEAD CHEF AT LORENZO’S , a few villas down from where you’re staying . you might hear them singing ALRIGHTY APHRODITE BY PEACH PIT playing from their villa , it’s their favourite song . yes , they hear that they look like JACK GILINSKY a lot , actually - it’s really uncanny . their friends back home in SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA say that if they were on a tv show , their trope would be THE WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING , how funny is that ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst

𝐢 .

pinterest | wanted plots |

𝐢𝐢 .

name : oscar gabriel medici

age : twenty three

dob / sign : december 4th , 1997 / sagittarius sun , leo moon , libra rising

pob : sydney , australia

gender / pronouns : cis man & he / him / his

career : head chef at lorenzo’s , full - time heathen , professional disappointment for mothers everywhere .

drinking / drugs / smoking : yes / more often than he’d admit / never .

religion : jewish background , currently non - practicing .

physical : jack gilinsky fc , dark brown / black longish curls ( reference ) , dark brown eyes , canon jack g’s tattoos , no piercings , 6′2″ , 175 lbs , lean but strong . tattoos a la canon!jack , pearly white smile that he may . . . or may not . . . use crest 3D white strips weekly to maintain . lots of burns & scars from kitchen mishaps on his hands & arms .

traits : hard - working , flighty , intelligent , hedonistic , charismatic , intense , volatile ,

other : speaks weird french ( aussie accent tings ) , tans easily but wears sunscreen nonetheless , works hard parties harder , can’t read a lick of french but spends a lot of his free time with a coffee & a new paperback , has a bit of an internal vendetta against rich people ( for no real reason , he just doesn’t like most of them ) , has ins with a bunch the local farmers & visits them weekly , pretends he isn’t lowkey addicted to nicotine administered via a puff bar , liquor of preference is tequila or red wine , drives a lil vespa around town for the gag of it ( loves seeing it haphazardly parked amongst a bunch of luxury cars ) ,

character inspo : jess mariano ( gilmore girls ) , gordon ramsey 🤡 , patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .

𝐢𝐢𝐢 .

oscar’s arrival was as unwanted to his parents as could be : a father whose tendencies leaned towards alcoholism & abusing whoever was in arms reach , a mother whose life was more or less spent at the nursing home she worked as a nurse at , evading home . he became a self - inflicted loner , preferring to do literally the exact opposite of what was expected or wanted from him . he had a few friends he ran with , but watching them all go off & study or prepare for university solidified in oscar’s mind that the non - traditional route was for him . growing up by the water , oscar always felt more drawn to skip school & head to the beach than he did obeying his parents wishes .

one of his solaces was his grandfather , gabriel , who owned an italian restaurant in a beach town north of sydney . whenever the weather was bad & oscar felt like ditching class , he’d head over to his nono’s restaurant where his ass would be put to work as soon as he set eyes on the restaurant . it was tough work , but challenging in a way that fanned the flames in oscar’s heart , rather than dimming them . by the time he was a teenager he was working in the restaurant everyday after school , an agreement between him & his grandfather framed on the back wall that stated that as long as oscar kept from flunking out , he was allowed to spend as little ��or as much time in the kitchen as he pleased .

his absolute defiance of anything traditional & following the rules made him unpopular with adults , but lowkey cool with the girls . by the time he was sixteen , he was losing his focus on the restaurant & his grades & spending more & more time chasing after girls . his nono tried to get oscar to come back & focus , but as always , anything he’s asked to do quickly becomes the thing he’s running from the most .

tw : death , cancer . around his eighteenth birthday , his grandfather suddenly fell ill with a rare form of cancer that took his life six weeks after diagnosis , which rocked oscar’s world . he felt overwhelming guilt that he hadn’t spent more time with his grandfather , which manifested itself as oscar dropping out of school a year shy of graduation to commit himself fully to perfecting his grandfather’s techniques , learning all of his recipes ( read : pouring over dozens of handwritten cookbooks ) in some failed attempt to get back some time with him . oscar hadn’t been close with his parents in years , more or less seeing them as wardens of a prison he wanted nothing to do with . his grandfather’s will left him the deed to the restaurant , with an ask that oscar would promise to act on whatever he felt called towards , rather than doing what others expected of him . to be candid , this whole situation crushed him .

eventually , he decided he’d had enough of the stifling community he’d grown up in . he sold the restaurant to one of the regulars , a wealthy man who he’d come to acknowledge as somewhat of an uncle ; a safe pair of hands who would treat his grandfather’s legacy with as much passion & respect as oscar himself would . so he packed a bag , texted his mom that he was going traveling , & got on a flight that evening . he traveled all around - first through central america , then through europe , throughout asia & africa , & spent a few months driving a van across the continental united states & canada for fun .

eventually , he started getting low - ish on money , & decided to settle in one of his favourite places he’d visited : southern france . he arrived in early 2018 , taking on whatever menial tasks he could while learning french until he got a position as a line cook in an italian restaurant . a few years later , he’s made his way up to filling the head chef position , an honour he takes with pride . he’s implemented many of his own recipes while using flavours he’s learned from his travels , with ingredients straight from local farmers . he’s earned the restaurant a two michelin star rating , & is constantly striving for more to get that last star ( both for his own ego as well as a secret debt to his grandfather ) .

𝐢𝐯 .

ok but that vid where gordon puts two pieces of bread on someone’s head & calls them an idiot sandwich ? that’s oscar . intense as fuck in the kitchen , & best nobody catch an attitude about it bc he will not hesitate to hand them their ass on a silver platter .

another gordon reference : you know how he’s the spawn of satan with adults , but the sweetest , most helpul guy with children ? that’s oscar with his staff vs people he wants something from . whether its to sleep with them ( usually his first instinct to be fair ) , their money or clout , or to get into some wild adventure some random resort staff wouldn’t dream of getting into , he can turn on the charm whenever needed .

can go from absolutely demoralizing someone in the kitchen to stepping out into the lounge to schmooze with his friends or cougars who leave phat tips in 0.2 seconds . the speed at which his mood can completely 180 is one of the seven world wonders ( last i checked ) .

his love language is absolutely acts of service . catch him actually falling in love once in a blue moon & making it his mission to cook her extravagant meals everyday .

the wolf in sheep’s clothing label epitomizes his nice , helpful , charismatic exterior , while ulterior motives & disdain for those who grew up with more money than he did lurk beneath the surface .

he can be MEAN when someone fucks him over or pushes him farther than he wants - isn’t afraid to go for the low blows or send someone home with an identity crisis if it protects himself .

lowkey alcoholic but he’s not ready for that conversation yet . he sees it more as perks of the location & atmosphere he’s found himself in .

also lowkey falls in love HARD , like this man is a closeted romantic but self - sabotages all potential relationships before they can get to that point out of fear he’ll be unable to live life of his own volition ( takes a flaky philophobic sagittarius to know a flaky philophobic sagittarius 🤡 ) . has probably only had a few real relationships besides flings bc he’s afraid .

𝐯 .

check out my wanted plots tag listed here , as well as my pinterest wanted plots board here . here are some other suggestions hehe :

best friend / ride or die : someone who knows about his past , keeps him grounded when he’s lk spiraling & wants to drop everything & flee to some far flung corner of the earth .

actual relationship : it was fast - burn with deep feelings ( not them thinking they’re soulmates after dating for a month . . . pete & ariana type beat ) but completely unrealistic . they have their own life , he’s pretty much tied to the restaurant , not to mention his lack of sharing anything about his childhood / life back home . they loved & cared for each other , but crashed & burned fairly quickly because of how idealistic it was . they can either be on bad or good terms now .

hateship with sexual tension 😈

summer flings !!

fake boyfriend : he shows up on her arm to her family’s events where she’s expected to have a partner . it’s not a real relationship , but her parents don’t need to know that . he plays the part & satisfies her parents beyond the bare minimum , & in return she invites him to parties , takes him out on her family’s yacht , etc etc . we luv some symbiosis

i can always use more fwbs hehehe

squad : a group of people who do everything together , have a chaotic group chat , have nicknames for one another , are utd on each other’s sex lives , party all night then show up to brunch hungover together .

cat & mouse : someone he’s pursuing who isn’t quite giving in , & vice versa . maybe it’s been going on a few years , everytime they’re in st tropez they have this weird lil flirtationship thing goin on until she leaves , they forget about one another , then pick it right back up when she returns .

confidant : preferably someone from a working class background who understands his plight of being a worker amongst people who expect to be waited on .

enemies : they don’t like his attitude , & he doesn’t like them in return . lots of eye rolls , shit talking , & tension between their mutual friends .

we’re sleeping together but we shouldn’t be but that’s half the fun : for whatever reason they became friends , starting hooking up despite it not being a good idea ( read : he’s exes with one of her friends , her parents want her focused on career , they’re part of the same friend group , etc ) . . . but now they can’t stop . lots of stolen glances across rooms , squeezing past one another in a crowded club just close enough for a quick touch to the back , quietly leaving one another’s places the morning after & playing dumb to anyone who asks .

#villasintro #eeeek im hyped !!

15 notes · View notes

oceanaestheticangel · 4 years

Text

Obey Me! OC (Kind of?)

(I’ve had this fella ever since I was four years old and I’ve patched him up over the years. He’s now my MC in Obey Me! and I’m glad because I don’t think Obey Me! has a lot of fans where their MCs are male. THIS ART PIECE IS MY OWN.)

Name: Renamaki Tsuriji

Sex: Male

Pronouns: He/Him

Race: Indian-Japanese

Class: Angel

Birthday: February 25th

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Sexuality: Pansexual

Love Interest: Asmodeus

Personality: Fun to be around, a comedian at best, a slight prankster, easily sociable, rarely ever gets angry, absolutely a chaotic angel, sweet and kind when he needs to be

Likes: Chocolate milk, fuzzy socks (who the hell hates fuzzy socks?), ocean, seashells, worms on string, sweaters, horror genre, axolotls, geometry, games

Dislikes: Extremely selfish people, hypocrites, ladybugs (has an intense fear of ladybugs), easily angered people, history in general

Habits: Eating flour straight from bags

~Miscellaneous~

Renamaki Tsuriji is your happy angel raised in the Celestial Realm under the archangel Michael. He arrived in the Devildom as an exchange student, even though he technically wasn’t supposed to be there. He’s a jokester who spews out jokes like he’s a machine, and loves loves pranks. He’s also really soft and sweet whenever he’s there to give advice (which isn’t much, he’s not really an advice giver).

~When he arrived, he got off on the wrong foot with Lucifer, due to him absolutely going nuts. And I mean absolutely nuts- joking at the first born when ordered around, not taking everything that seriously, running off to find people to socialize with, eating flour straight from the bags- you name it, this angel did it. Even now Lucifer is still pissy with him because of his crazy attitude, and often punishments make Renamaki try to push his buttons even further by continuing to disobey. I’m pretty sure Lucifer had multiple heart attacks trying to deal with the angel.~

- “What in the hell are you doing now, Renamaki?!”

- “I wanna become a sock!”

- ANGRY LUCIFER NOISES

~Due to his extroverted contagious crazed personality, he became partners in crime with Mammon. They almost hit it off instantly, and you can expect that whenever Mammon is up to something, Renamaki is right by his side. However, it’s worth mentioning that the angel loves the horror genre despite being crazy with a hint of softness, and he loves watching horror movies or playing horror games with Mammon just so he can hear the demon scream loudly and wake everybody up in the House of Lamentation late at night.~

- “Hey, uh, Mammon?”

- “Yea?”

- “You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”

- “Yeaaaah, let’s try to get a picture of Luci sleepin!”

~Renamaki was rather indifferent towards Leviathan at first, simply because they were both on opposite ends of the socializing spectrum- with the angel being extremely extroverted and the Avatar of Envy being introverted. However, this all changed when he watched the TSL series, and the demon inviting him to play games. Being a gamer himself, he got along well with Levi, and to this day they are actually gaming buddies. Renamaki’s cheerful and humorous personality sometimes makes him come out of his shell, which is a good thing unless if he’s on his side dying of laughter.~

- “You may be a gamer, but you’re still a normie.”

- “I may be a normie, but this boi ‘bout to slam our car into a river!”

- “W-What are you doing?!”

- “MURDER TIME FUN TIME!”

- LEVIATHAN SCREAMING NOISES

~Like Lucifer, Renamaki didn’t get along at all with Satan. The angel doesn’t like anything to do with history or any kind of reading as he prefers mathematics, which pretty much solidifies their split. It also adds to their rivalry when Satan discovers Renamaki doesn’t even bother with people who are quickly angered, and he keeps his distance from the angel. However, they do make some interaction since the demon wishes to know all about the Celestial Realm where Renamaki came from, as he had never been there himself.~

- “So, is it true that there are hierarchies of angels in the Celestial Realm?”

- “Bro, why does the sea smell like the sea?”

- “You’re not answering my question, fool!”

- “Well, neither are you!”

~Oh boy, this angel is head over heels for Asmodeus, the Avatar of Lust. They also hit it off almost instantly due to their extroverted personalities. He always loves to crack him up with never ending jokes, and grew a liking towards makeup despite never having really liked it before. Asmodeus takes him out shopping to Majolish almost every single day, along with constantly going to spas, but Renamaki doesn’t mind at all! It’s also worth noting that the angel always had a thing for flirtatious people, as flirts and compliments easily flusters him.~

- “Honey, come here you little cutie pie! I just gotta apply this blush!”

- “tHAT TICKLES-“

- “Oh, I know a better way to tickle you~.”

- “lord forgive me for I am about to sin”

~He was also sort of indifferent towards Beelzebub at first, as he thought the gluttonous demon was just serious all the time. However, once he learned that he cared for his family, Renamaki started treating the demon like he was his own son. It turns out that the angel is in the class of guardian angels, the lowest class of the angel hierarchy. Even though Beel is a bit confused as to why he’s treated like a baby, he doesn’t mind usually. It’s also good to know that Renamaki has stopped eating flour straight from the fucking bag at this point (hooray!).~

- “Hm, you’ve finally stopped eating flour from the bag.”

- “I FORGOT MY FLOUR EATING HOUR! BE RIGHT BACK, IMMA GET MY FLOUR!”

- “...”

~Renamaki is... not really on good terms with Belphegor, which is understandable. They’re on the opposite ends of the social spectrum, with almost completely different viewpoints and likes/dislikes, and of course that murdering thing. Almost. They both love to prank people, and Belphie found the angel amazing simply because the little flour-eating sucker defies Lucifer and gives him migraines constantly.~

- “What is it now? I told you not to bother me when I’m sleeping.”

- “Lucifer is gonna decapitate his own head because I’ve decided to litter his room with toilet paper and eggs.”

- REAL SHIT?

~You bet your ass the angel is on great terms with Diavolo! Seriously, Renamaki kind of looks up to Diavolo as the great master of chaos, and it always makes him absolutely delighted when the demon king is clapping at his schemes while poor old Luci is ripping out his hair from his scalp. If not for Asmodeus, Renamaki would’ve probably fallen in love with Diavolo. Just saying. :)~

- “I can watch Shrek in 15 seconds.”

- “Really? How?”

- “Allow me!”

~He also looks up to Solomon, another worthy being of chaos. If he wasn’t partners in crime with Mammon, he would’ve been partners in crime with the sorcerer. They would’ve been carrying out so much chaos that probably the Devildom itself would’ve collapsed into a vortex. Let’s be grateful that he’s partners in crime with Mammon.~

- “Punk ass bitch.”

- “Mop flavoured lollipop.”

- “What?”

~Renamaki sort of admires Simeon, and he’s known him from the Celestial Realm. These two would be talking about their memories from their home realm, and how they miss it. If anything, he goes to Simeon for advice the most, because he’s a bit more comfortable asking for advice from a fellow angel around his age.~

- “Hey, Simeon! I got a question for you!”

- “Go ahead, ask!”

- “What happens if I stand on top of a fridge to establish my dominance over Lucifer?”

- “...”

~Ultra protection mode for Luke. He adores the chihuahua and wants to protect him from the harsh world. He also recognizes the little angel from the Celestial Realm, and boy does the kid’s face light up when he notices Renamaki. The guardian angel has now two sons- Beelzebub and Luke. Oh, and the chihuahua angel is most likely scolding Renamaki because he eats flour from bags all the time.~

- “Simeeeoooon, Renamaki is eating flour again!”

- “THIS IS MY SECOND BAG OF FLOUR WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.”

- “That doesn’t make it any better!”

~Honestly, let’s hope Renamaki doesn’t get really acquainted with Barbatos. You wanna know why?~

- “Head, hands, knees, and barba-toes.”

- “what”

#obey me #asmodeus obey me #mammon obey me #my ocs #leviathan obey me #lucifer obey me #obey me satan #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #diavolo obey me #luke obey me #solomon obey me #simeon obey me #obey me barbatos

23 notes · View notes

udurghsigil · 3 years

Text

positive transgenderisms and recovery talk under the cut (nsfw/emotional abuse mentions too)

i’d always felt uncomfortable being treated as female my whole life and i think it’s crazy how it all came to a head when i made one (1) comic about my fear of becoming a woman and being seen as a woman last summer. it also had some themes abt being seen sexually and how distressing that is to me, which i mainly blame my ex for, but i think that just kinda solidified how much i didn’t want to be a woman. just with that one comic the gender dysphoria finally clicked. it’s weird looking back at my whole life and seeing how much everything i did was influenced by the idea of womanhood. i used to fall back on it as a safety mechanism, so my “feminine” behavior comes out alot still when i’m anxious. it definitely was really bad when i was with X because i’d fall into my fawn response and go hyperfeminine (by my own standards) for really long periods of time. once i got away from him that all fell away and suddenly i realized i was putting up an act for 3 or 4 years to protect myself. that’s not to say it wasn’t genuinely how i wanted to conduct myself for a while (it was for our first year together for sure) but it stopped being my own behavior once we had our first big fight. now i feel both more like myself since i took off all my masks, and also less like myself because i thought those masks were who i am. clearly not! so i feel like i’ve lost my sense of self, but it’s something i’m working on.

also i was just thinking about how good my cishet dude friends have been about me coming out. i thought the hardest part would be them seeing me as a man but it really was only the pronouns that were an issue. they never ever ever make reference to me previously identifying as a cis girl or me being afab or how well i pass unless i bring it up myself. when we talk about “stuff women go through” they don’t rely on me to answer their questions, and it’s moreso left up to me if i want to weigh in on anything i’ve actually experienced. they’re getting alot better with my pronouns and they don’t make a big deal out of it if they mess up, it’s just a quick little correction. i remember the first time they started trying to get them right one of them said “he pronouns bro, we gotta use the new ones” which was really sweet.

aside from my online friends, i think they handled me coming out the best and it makes me really happy. we fuck with each other alot but they respected my identity since i came out and nothing has inherently changed other than them fucking with me even MORE than usual. i’m pretty sure they went easy on me before when i identified as a girl but now it’s free game cuz i’m a man pfft. either way, i feel really appreciated by them. they’ve been great friends for years and i’m glad to have them in my life.

#its hard to sleep bc ocd so i just wanted to reflect a bit #transness is so beautiful #i'm happy im in a space where i can really actually be myself now #and also discover who i really am too #i spent so many years faking it and tryiing so hard and now im finally free #hello world!#x

4 notes · View notes

sepublic · 4 years

Text

LGBTQIA+ in Bionicle: RaE

To celebrate the beginning of Pride Month, I figured I may as well briefly delve into the subject of LGBTQIA+ in Bionicle: RaE! And before anyone gets riled up over me ‘changing’ things from the previous lore, don’t worry! I have a permit;

(Also this is Bionicle: Redone and Expanded, it’s a fan-work so chill)

With that out of the way...

On Okoto, queer identity is a completely normal facet of everyday life. There has been no known, recorded instance of bigotry, because why would there be? People are people, and they freely explore their sexualities as they choose.

Being Trans and exploring one’s pronouns is frequent on Okoto. I’ve talked before about how Okoto’s Mask Culture favors the idea of making one’s own identity, creating a new ‘face’ for oneself, one you can actually choose and decide. To Okotans, one’s personal Mask that they make for themselves is more reflective of their personhood and identity than their actual physical face, because it’s something you craft for yourself and decide. Similarly, I imagine Naming Day -which I haven’t figured out the full details for- goes hand-in-hand with this idea of recreating one’s identity, of undergoing a rebirth of sorts.

Now obviously, a culture that prizes discovering yourself, reforging your own identity, sometimes even completing reinventing one’s identity; That’s a very trans-friendly narrative! A lot of people figure themselves out when crafting their personal masks, which tend to go through multiple revisions and versions. Naming Day is a way to come out and solidify and explore one’s new identity, at least for now; Nothing is set in stone! Of course, by that logic, genderfluid identities are also welcomed and appreciated!

On another note, I suppose the subject of one’s physical face and how an individual treats it varies, the way Trans individuals may feel about their own dead names and personalities. Some want to leave it behind and forget entirely, while others are pretty casual about referencing it as a past, outdated thing. Any option is totally valid! Nobody judges in Okoto. By the end of the day, Okotans value the concept of Identity, especially a self-chosen one, very much. Consequently, it’s seen as the epitome of disrespect to disregard someone’s chosen identity and bring up a past name or face of theirs in the process; It’s an incredibly petty, lowly, and grave insult, akin to spitting on someone’s personal mask or destroying it, or insulting a person’s family bloodline. Not even Makuta would stoop so low, so... To anyone who misgenders...

Don’t be worse than the narcissist who literally experimented on people.

During the Creation Age, if one wanted to have sex-reassignment surgery, it was pretty easy thanks to Masks of Power and other Life Automatons. Masks of Healing combined with surgical work can do the job. In particular, the Mask of Control was very efficient at helping trans individuals change their bodies if desired; Keep in mind that contrary to the legends, Ekimu and Makuta actually wore the Masks of Creation and Control interchangeably. Later towards the Creation Age, the two began to become more familiar one of the two, but generally speaking, there was no restriction. If you wanted a quick change, just pop over to Ekimu or Makuta, whoever had the Mask of Control, and ask!

On Xia, the general attitudes towards queer identities is essentially the exact same; It may be a horrific, industrial landscape... But there’s no reason to be bigoted. There’s no basis to it, there’s nothing to gain.

Unfortunately for Trans individuals on Xia, sex-reassignment surgery is far more difficult to have access to. Again, this is not out of any stigma towards trans people, but rather because Xian healthcare in general is so ridiculously expensive that everyone is screwed over. The Trans experience on Xia isn’t fun, because... Any experience on that cursed island isn’t fun.

Now, onto fun facts about the cast; Specifically, several characters’ sexuality and/or identities! I’d call them headcanons, but technically I’m the writer who decides what comes and goes in RaE, so really they’re just... canons.

Tahu- Is one of the most pansexual people out there. He’s a social butterfly that loves and grooves with just about anyone, and he’ll flirt readily- Provided those he’s flirting with are comfortable. He’ll back off if he can sense discomfort, and he makes sure to only do this when the situation is appropriate. As a person with basic morals, personal autonomy and consent is much-respected by Tahu.

Gali- Questioning, both in-universe and from a writer’s perspective. RaE Gali is a character who’s busy figuring a LOT of stuff out regarding her identity and role as a Toa.

Pohatu- He’s Gay, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Onua- Aromantic ace! She doesn’t quite get the idea of sexual attraction or romance, but it’s intriguing to quietly observe from an outsider’s perspective nonetheless!

Kopaka- Pan, but with a particular disposition towards big, buff people.

Lewa- Also Pan, he’s pretty open to a lot of people and loves very freely and compassionately. (Of course, that isn’t to say that non-Pan people, such as aces or aros, don’t have compassion; Onua is a just person after all! It’s just that with Lewa’s very friendly and outreaching nature, it makes a lot of sense to me for him to be open to just about any possible relationship.)

On another note, the Protectors of Jungle and Water, Vizuna and Kivoda, are both non-binary and go by They/Them pronouns! Initially I grappled with deciding which one to make NB, but then it occurred to me that the more there is, the merrier! Likewise, Takua is a trans woman!

Generally speaking, assume most characters are pansexual. There are the occasional exceptions I know for certain, such as Harvali and Vira- They’re lesbians. On another fun note, if a character’s gender in RaE doesn’t match the one they had in the source material, there’s at least a 75% chance that they’re Trans! I haven’t decided on all of them exactly, but for now, it’s safe to assume that they’re probably Trans!

Any Trans Individuals or others of queer identity are free to give input on how I can contribute to, change, or update this kind of worldbuilding! I may be queer, but I’m still no expert in queer identities, and I welcome the feedback, corrections, and experiences of others- Diversity IS the spice of life! LGBTQIA+ asks about RaE are also welcome as well, as are suggestions on representation that I can include!

#bionicle #Bionicle RaE #pride month #pride #lgbtqia #trans rights #aroace #nonbinary #sexuality #lore #worldbuilding #naming day #okoto

14 notes · View notes

starswallowingsea · 4 years

Text

Growing Up Trans and AlloAro

Or whatever the hell this essay turned out to be. Under the cut because this got long (like 1340 words long).

---

When I was younger, I never quite fit with the word “girl,” but I thought it was just because I didn’t like playing with dolls like other girls my age. I spent my first two years of school playing spies on the playground and sticking my tongue to frozen poles (and yes, it is painful but I somehow managed to not get in trouble for it).

I would sit in our office--soon to be my baby brother’s room--and build towers out of his foam blocks and make stories for people that lived in cities I built on SimCity on our old desktop. Even with my girl friends, I would get confused about why they were talking about liking boys and getting crushes.

I remember sitting in my friend’s basement during a freezing winter in North Dakota and she was shocked when I told her I had never seen Drake and Josh before and then grabbing her Magic 8ball and asking it if she would fall in love with Drake.

I moved to Wisconsin a year later and had a hard time making friends. I thought we would just move again so I only talked with a handful of people in our already small school district. We would play dolls and teacher and I would get bored most days, wanting to play with the boys and make up stories.

It was around the time that he left that I knew I was different from the other kids. They were starting to date each other as early as 3rd grade. We would tease our friends about who they were dating but I never understood why they dated in the first place. For the first few years, I would deflect questions about crushes by saying I still liked someone from my old school, but that only worked for so long.

In 8th grade I started questioning my sexuality for the first time. I wasn’t really sure who I liked, because I didn’t really like anyone at that point. There was one kid I thought was attractive and always used him as my scapegoat when asked about crushes so nobody would know. I did like him, but it felt different than I knew my cishet peers thought about their crushes, just based on the way they talked about them. I thought I was asexual, because the internet in 2014 didn’t like to talk about aromanticism, much less than it does now anyway.

So I joined tumblr in like, 2015, the summer between 8th grade and freshman year of high school and posted about asexuality, being nonbinary, toontown rewritten, all the stuff that 14-15yos are into. For a while I identified as heteroromantic asexual, and then nonbinary asexual quoiromantic, and then aromantic asexual and nonbinary? Or maybe I was really cis?

And it went like that, back and forth between a few labels. I never felt like I could tell anybody, because I went to a small school and heard all the comments people made about the LGBTQ community and what my parents said about trans people and the messages preached at church.

When I was about 16, I realized I wasn’t ace at all. I thought maybe I was a nonbinary aro lesbian, or maybe bisexual. Tumblr in 2016/17 was very against having attraction to men at all in the circles I found myself in and I pushed those feelings down so I wouldn’t make people uncomfortable. I forced myself to be attracted to women when I really wasn’t at all. Every other post about bisexuality was talking about how beautiful women were and how disgusting men were. I never felt comfortable talking about my attraction to men in public, or even in private. I felt even more uncomfortable talking about maybe being bisexual and aromantic. At this point, alloaros were practically unheard of and there weren’t a ton of trans aces, so finding someone to talk to about my identity was hard, to say the least. I just simply was alloaro, but that word didn’t exist yet and I couldn’t find anyone else who was aromantic and not asexual.

That’s how I lived for another 2 years, as a nonbinary aro lesbian (or maybe bisexual). This was around the same time as I got involved in truscum/tucute discourse. I’ve always been minimally dysphoric about my body and got attacked for it by truscum and it would take me another 2 years to realize that I was actually a trans man. Because I started associating trans men with truscum and I didn’t want to be like them because they were always the nastiest people I had ever come across (I’ve obviously since outgrown this view point and am comfortable identifying as a man now).

Another two years later and I’m outside a Thiesen’s with my parents picking up stuff for my graduation party that was happening later. My feet hit the pavement and I get a thought that said “maybe I’m a guy.” I stopped for a second and kept walking in, thinking about that, trying out he/him pronouns with myself and decided before we checked out that I was a trans guy.

It took a while to get used to thinking about myself that way and I still use they/them pronouns. A few days after solidifying my gender identity, I realized I was aro and bisexual (or maybe gay). Labeling my sexuality came much easier, realizing I was a man. I’m still aromantic and that’s one thing that’s been pretty constant in my life. I never really got crushes in the typical way and I still don’t, even though you all see me reblogging yearning posts. I think that’s a byproduct of wanting to touch people in non-romantic and non-sexual ways in our society where touches have a lot of baggage with them.

I came out as bisexual and aromantic to my roommates in September. It came up in casual conversation and I felt comfortable enough to tell them, since they were all from the city and city-folk tend to be more accepting of queer identities (not to rag on rural folk, since I am one, but rural Wisconsin is not the place you want to grow up trans and queer). One of them came out as straight in October on coming out day and I forced myself back into the closet on coming out as trans. We had a falling out with her earlier this semester and she moved out.

Literally the night she moved out, I came out to the other two roommates as trans and they took it very well! They call me by my preferred name when we’re around people I’m out to and they even bought me a trans flag that we have hanging in the common room of our dorm (and at least one person has told me they say “trans rights!” whenever they pass by as soon as they found out it was mine). I’m still working on being socially out at college and need to call gender inclusive housing at some point, but I keep putting that off.

And recently I’ve decided I’m trans, aro, and queer. I still use the word bisexual, but really thinking about what genders I’m attracted to is super complicated and the word bisexual doesn’t convey that to most people. And queer just fits better some days.

I don’t really have a tl;dr for this, but if I had to pick something from this to hammer home, it would be that it’s okay to change labels and question your identity. It’s okay to change labels frequently or once every few years if you feel like they’ve changed! It’s never too late to figure out who you are and there will always be people who will accept you for who you are.

Also tumblr is the worst place to try and figure out your identity, but sometimes its all people have and I want my blog to be a safe space for people questioning their identities.

#transgender #alloaro #aromantic #aromantic experience #growing up trans #growing up aro #long post #shay speaks #shay writes #okay2rb #honestly idk how much sense this makes but i felt like i needed to get this out there #there's so much shit that gets thrown around this site and i know what it feels like to not see yourself in any of the content on here #ig that's what im trying to say?#also i wasn't particularly close to anyone in hs can you tell?#i had like 3 friends lol #but do with this what you will #it isn't meant to be an academic essay or anything. just getting my experiences out there #looking back on 8th grade me is like 'YOURE TRANS AND ARO AND QUEER AAAAAAGHHHH'#but alas i can not scream at my past self in real time

9 notes · View notes

alchemist-shizun · 4 years

Text

Love Simon AU - Christmas Special

Read on Ao3!

Merry Christmas to my lovely @softanxiouspatton!! This is my little gift for you, sadly I can't do much else, so I hope you can enjoy this thoroughly, love you 💜

Wtnv taglist: @softanxiouspatton @suffering-is-my-comfort-zone @pushussmollworld @mylifeisadeceit

Word Count: 1,829

Characters: Cecil, Carlos (and a little cameo 👀)

Pairing(s): Cecilos

Warning(s): This is just pure fluff for once

Summary: Simple snowy evening around town for two teens that only wanted hot chocolate and instead got each other flustered every five minutes. Oh, also they're waiting for Christmas to come, sure.

A/N: Please be aware that this is a spinoff from an AU I still have to write. The AU is going to be set in the Love, Simon universe and here Cecil is blind and Carlos is nonbinary (he goes by both masculine and neutral pronouns so if you see me abruptly changing them in the narration it's normal). Other than that this is very very simple and I just wanted to try to do something with this universe since I can't work on the bigger project yet, the events all take place after the ending. (Don't worry no spoilers)

✾

❝And the hair on my neck was rising

A feeling new and surprising

But it wasn't the sound that made my heart pound

No, it was because I found her hand is in mine❞

« Come on! »

« Are you sure this is a good idea? »

« Just trust me, Cecil. »

Carlos was leading his boyfriend by the hand, both of them covered from head to toe in the warmest clothes they owned. Puffs of air left their breaths as they spoke.

« Alright. » Cecil tightened the grip as Carlos notified him of any step or obstacle he had to be mindful of.

They got to the ice rink, placed momentarily in the middle of the town's plaza and paid to get a pair of skates each. After making sure they were tight enough, Carlos climbed onto the rink, ready to help the other up.

« There's a step. »

Cecil heaved a foot, but not high enough to place it on the ice. « Aw. »

« Are the skates too heavy? » Carlos teased.

« Maybe. » there was the hint of a grin on the other's lips.

« Hold on. »

As if it were the most usual thing to do, he gripped at the edge of the rink with one hand to steady himself, while he wrapped an arm around Cecil's waist to lift him up.

« Guess you're very strong. » was everything a particularly flustered boy could comment after being dragged dangerously close by his partner.

Carlos simply giggled.

There were many attempts from the scientist to make the other build confidence and not keep a hand on the rink.

« It's only ice, Cecil. » he repeated over and over. « It's solidified water. »

« I know that. Still unreliable. »

« It's like the ground, but the only difference is that it's ... slippery? »

« That was very scientific of you. »

« It was my latest discovery. » Carlos played along with a faked seriousness. « Will you now let me hold both of your hands? »

« Five more minutes, mom. »

When hopelessness washed over him, Carlos noticed something around them, something that had to do with water but not the ground. With the sky, on the other hand, it did. And it was raining down on them. He gasped as realization struck him.

He removed the other's glove from the hand he had been holding, ignoring the confused sentences. Then, he held Cecil's arm outward, as if he were trying to make him catch what was falling from above.

« Is ... Is it snowing? » a small smile ghosted over his lips.

« Can you feel the snowflakes? »

« Yeah. » the smile grew wider and he instinctively cupped his hands, forgetting about his fear of falling face-first on the ice.

Carlos found the scene endearing, his boyfriend looked determined to gather as much snow as he could, though it melted as soon as it reached his palms, little white spots turned into transparent drops in milliseconds.

« You're adorable. » he gave voice to his thoughts, taking this time both Cecil's hands and tugging forward while he skated backwards.

Cecil almost didn't even realize they were moving around the rink together. And they didn't fall once! Despite maybe one pretty dangerous moment.

They were walking around town again, hands never leaving each other, while looking for the nearest café to get some warm drink.

« Was it so bad? »

« It was terrible. » Cecil commented, then he leaned on the other. « I loved it. »

Carlos placed a kiss on top of his head before walking toward the coffee shop.

Once inside, they got to their seats and waited for their orders to arrive. The snow hadn't gotten any stronger, but was still not determined to stop.

The two were conversing as they had never done anything else in their lives, reaching the topic of the town's Christmas market around the centre.

« Oh, before I forget. » Carlos dug into their bag, taking out a pair of tickets and placing them on the table.

Cecil reached and felt two identical pieces of paper. « What are those for? »

His fingertips trailed over the surface of a ticket. He found braille.

« A science museum? »

« They're a gift. » Cecil looked confused. « It's very advanced and they have reproductions of exposed objects you can touch if you can't see. There are also art museums that are starting to do that, we can go there too if you'd like and if you don't then it's fine, I can- »

« Carlos. » a hand was placed on theirs. « You know I'd gladly listen to you go off about science for the rest of eternity. » his voice grew impossibly softer. « I'd go anywhere with you. »

Carlos didn't even have the chance to respond as another voice flew over them.

« That's about the gayest thing I've ever heard. »

Maureen herself was standing next to their table, a wide grin spread across her face, while Cecil hid behind his hands.

« And you're the one I've ever seen. Wouldn't you agree, Michelle? » loving, darling, sweet and genius Carlos to save the day.

That was an effective way of flustering both of them, whose faces were subtly heating up. Maureen tugged at the girl she was holding hands with, motioning for them to move away.

« Tell your dog I said hi! » Cecil called after her, amused, he did not need any kind of sight to know she didn't even turn to him.

« Whatever. » he heard afterwards, as the steps' sound grew quieter and more distant.

The only other interruption was the waiter placing the cups of hot chocolate in front of the two. After that, silence as they waited for the drink to cool down.

« Actually, » Cecil took a small USB out of his jacket's pocket. « I made something for you, too. » he held his hand out, flash drive right in front of the other's face.

Carlos lit up, despite having no clue of the contents of the USB. « You didn't have to. » they murmured fondly. The thought alone of the gift made him already giddy, maybe the halo of mystery it held was contributing too.

« It's nothing grand, really. » Cecil was looking down, his voice hesitating for a moment. « Remember I have that microphone on my room's desk? » the other nodded. « I used it to tell a story. I pretended I was talking to the citizens of an imaginary town, tried to narrate their lives. So I decided to put you into it too and make ... an original gift, I suppose? »

His partner was smiling so wide they weren't able to respond: Cecil was already about to continue, say that maybe it was kind of weird he had done that.

« This is the best thing I've ever heard! » Carlos encouraged instead. « I'm happy you put me in the story, really. Thank you, Cecil, I'm sure I'll love it. » they promised, reaching for his hand for the billionth time that day, as if Cecil weren't able to practically feel their loving gaze on him.

« I've always wanted to be a radio host cause my voice is one of the only things I'm mostly sure of. » he explained, his eyes falling back to the surface of the table, as a tired flower would bow its head under the weight of the rain.

He felt his hand being held tighter, a suggestion for him to continue.

« So, uncertain of what surrounded me, I made up universes in my mind where the weirdest events made sense. » it was like he was keeping something in his thoughts, something he had wanted to let out for the longest time but hadn't been able to. Deprived of the right time and chance.

« But, » he began, looking oddly right into Carlos's eyes. « But now, thanks to you, I think I can be sure of the outside world too. »

Saying that they melted on the spot was an understatement. Saying that their brain had malfunctioned and short-circuited was part of the truth.

If they could just lean in ... if they could just lean in and place a hundred, a thousand and then another hundred kisses over the boy's face.

« I can't say anything else except I'm honored to be in your life. » so what Carlos did, instead of all that, was pull one of Cecil's hands and place a quick but gentle kiss on top of it. « And you have no idea how grateful I am for you. »

After a couple more of "stop, you will make me cry, I have a reputation", they made it out and back into the centre of town, Christmas lights hanging from all possible locations and houses around them. The quantity would have been enough to shut all the town's electricity at once.

They simply walked around, admired places and wished to buy all the candy they could find without having the possibility to do it.

Reminiscing was mostly what they did, though. Even without telling each other, a place, a sound, a simple memory connected to a song. But when the ferris wheel came into Carlos's sight, words had to be definitely brought up.

They just stood there, without unlinking their arms.

« Hey, look, » they said, pointing upwards at the big lit-up construction moving slowly under the night sky.

« Yeah sure, I can see your point. » Cecil retorted in that tone that sounded obviously sarcastic but also not quite.

Damned slang and the English language.

« Gosh, sorry, I was distracted- »

« By the blinding lights? »

« Cecil, please- » they couldn't contain their laughter any longer.

« Oh, you're amused now, I see. »

« No, you don't. »

Even louder laughter spread out in the semi-quiet road they were walking on.

« I just saw the ferris wheel. »

« Oh. »

« The same blue and white lights. I can barely distinguish people from the cabins from down here. » they focused on the structure, while their senses ignored Cecil shifting and placing himself in front of them.

His hands traveled up to their shoulders until they reached their cheeks. Carlos didn't really mind as they kept talking, it happened that Cecil did that out of the blue, sometimes there was no reason at all.

Despite that, this time, there was.

Cecil surged up slowly, placing a soft kiss on their lips while Carlos's words faded away. He then hugged them as tight as his strength permitted.

« I love you. » he whispered, burying his face in their chest.

« That's one of the only two things I know. » Carlos was quick to return the embrace, bathing in the essence of the moment. « I love you too. »

#cecilos #cecil palmer #wtnv carlos #carlos the scientist #wtnv #welcome to night vale #fanfiction #wtnv maureen #wtnv michelle #purp's writings

21 notes · View notes

rosesisupposes · 4 years

Text

Fall to Rise

Part 11 of Another Goddamn Hero Story

read on ao3

Chapter Relationships: Romantic LAMP; Familial LAMPT; Background OC pairings;

Chapter Warnings: Memories of trauma; questioning memories/reality; mentions of past death/murder; cadaver mention; Human experimentation; nonconsensual experimentation; cryogenic freezing; mention of blood loss

Word Count: over 7,600 i’m so sorry

Taglist: @residentanchor @royally-anxious@bewarethegrammarpolice @jemthebookworm@arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse@thelowlysatsuma @monsterinatophat @turtally-pawsome @um-yes-hi-hello @idkaurl @potestessemagishomosexualitatis@hawthornshadow

a/n: yeah, it's been a minute. i started law school, things got hectic. here’s a Lot of Things

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337501 [UPDATED] Classification: M.1.iv [Primary Tier Neutral, Unknown] Name: Agent Whisper Status: INACTIVE /////////Reason: Reformation-In-Progress, Enrolled Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Thomas Sanders Affiliation: Neutral Partners/Sidekicks: DI#A-4894 - Team Left Brain; DI#A-4895 - Team Right Brain; /////////The two teams volunteered to oversee his reformation Primary Foes: None Powers: Pathokinesis - Broad Spectrum; Illusions - Broad Spectrum; Self-Healing/Rejuvenation - Broad Spectrum; /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] There have been multiple edits to this entry, and I’ve no idea why, and I can’t see the history. Can you check this? - Joan Costume: Black t-shirt with a skull that can change between white and floral, jeans. Age: 19 Height: 5’10” Pronouns: He/Him H.E.A.R.T.S. Class: Enrolled Note: Brother of DI#337437 - Gale Force; Presumed killed in IR15-Z-0632, apparently self-healed; Unclear if powers were created by [REDACTED], or if they were always present and [REDACTED]. /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Talyn, what’s going on? Why can’t I un-redact these phrases? /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] I have no idea - these details weren’t added by me. It makes no sense. The note was added, and then edited and redacted. But from the code it looks like both changes were from… Logan?

~~~~~~

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337413 [UPDATED] Classification: Class A.2.iii [Secondary Tier Hero, anomaly] Name: Crimson Marauder Status: ACTIVE Civilian Name: [TOP SECRET] Roman Fitzroy Affiliation: Hero ///////// H.A.T.C.H. Status: On Call Partners/Sidekicks: member of DI#A-4895 - Team Right Brain; Works with DI#A-4894 - Team Left Brain; Primary Foes: N/A Powers: Psionic Construction; /////////Able to manipulate color of constructions along the red spectrum, unless it is a previously-created object being stored in a psionic pocket dimension; Constructs that have persisted need less energy to maintain; complete lack of consciousness can deconstruct Costume: Black Suit with Red Blocks, Gold Belt, Black and Red Cape with Gold accents; Black and gold mask Age: 25 Height: 5’ 11” Pronouns: He/Him H.E.A.R.T.S. Class N/A Note: Formerly known as Scarlet Prince, see DI#337321; Origin and family unknown

~~~~~~

D.R.E.A.M. Index #337437 [UPDATED] Classification: A.1.iv [Primary Tier Hero, unknown] Name: Gale Force Status: ACTIVE ///////// H.A.T.C.H. Status: Blackout Only Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Patton Sanders Affiliation: Hero Partners/Sidekicks: member of DI#A-4895 - Team Right Brain; Works with DI#A-4894 - Team Left Brain; Primary Foes: N/A Powers: Air Manipulation - Broad Spectrum; Costume: Grey calf-length tunic, slits up to waist with loose sleeves over loose white trousers; light blue belt; matching blue symbol of a hurricane across chest. Does not wear a mask. Age: 21 Height: 5’10” Pronouns: He/Him H.E.A.R.T.S. Class: Enrolled Note: Highly volatile, responsible for deaths of DI#265351 - Commander Eagle and DI#337236 - Silver Sparrow, see IR15-Z-0632; First appearance at Harmony City Foster Care; Origin and family unknown. ///////// Changed affiliation after unmasking of DI#337501 - Agent Whisper revealed to be his brother. Still unclear if he is an anomaly or if the Sanders bloodline is super, particularly because of DI#337501’s involvement in [REDACTED]. /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Talyn, it’s happened again here! Has Logan been messing in our files? /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Joan, this is really troubling - some of the edits have been made while I know Logan has been in the field. DREAM may have been hacked. I’m going to have to suspend all access until further notice.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

“Pat, are you sure about this?”

“Don’t worry. I’ll catch you.”

“This just feels like the superhero equivalent of a whoopie cushion. Or ‘down low, too slow.’”

Patton hugged his brother around the shoulders. “I mean it, Tommy Salami! You won’t be hurt.”

“It’s a long way down, though,” Thomas said, eyeing the edge of the roof nervously.

“Never fear! Your knight is here!” Roman announced, landing gently by the brothers with a smile. He bowed gallantly to the teen. “Sir Roman Fitzroy, on official Safety Net duty!”

Thomas smiled shyly. “You’re sure?”

“Of course, my Very Special Agent! Even if you can’t fly naturally, you’ll feel just like a bird,” Roman said, gesturing off the roof with a flourish. Floating in mid-air was a giant red cushion, soft, plush, and downy.

Other students at HEARTS were mingling around in various levels of trepidation and excitement. Some were confirmed flyers, ready to practice more and to build up their reaction time. Some were like Thomas, testing for latent abilities in a controlled environment. And some knew they couldn’t fly, but were here for the experience anyway.

“Ready?” the teacher called. A ten-year-old wearing what looked suspiciously like a beloved blankie tied around their neck like a cape clapped their hands and nodded. “Here we go!”

The teacher scooped the little one up and tossed them onto the trampoline, launching them into the air in a burst of surprised giggles. Their cape fluttered behind them as they bounced, eyes squeezed tightly shut. When they finally opened them, it was to realize they were floating about fifteen feet above the heads of their classmates.

“I doned it!”

“Yes indeed! You did it!” one of the older students said as their classmates clapped and cheered. The elder girl floated up serenely to their level. “Can you get down yourself?”

The child frowned and focused on their feet. Slowly, they lowered down to the ground once more, sparking another round of applause as the next student stepped up to try.

Finally, it was Thomas’ turn. There were rounds of encouragement from the crowd, though more subdued than they had been for the others. But the youngest students didn’t flinch or waver, just cheered as Thomas offered his hand to the teacher. Patton floated just by the edge of the roof, Roman at his side, ready with the enormous cushion to catch him should he go awry.

Virgil glided up beside the two just as Thomas was tossed onto the trampoline. He bounced high into the air, making a strangled yell that grew louder as he immediately started to plummet. But in a breath, air wrapped around him and he was gently deposited on his feet by Patton’s side.

He smiled shakily at his brother. “I guess you got the ginger and the flying genes, Pat.”

“You okay now?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Thomas said. He looked over at the other students. The ten-year-old who’d gone first was going for a second turn, keeping their eyes open this time. “I think I’ll leave the flying attempts to the experts though. C.C. was right - they said they weren’t sure I’d like it.”

“Who’s-” Patton started, but one of the students walked over with impeccable timing.

“Hi! I’m CC! I’m in Thomas’ class.”

Patton grinned and shook their hand. “I’m Patton, Thomas’ brother.”

“And you’re also Gale Force,” CC said with a nod.

“Only when I’m in uniform! I wouldn’t want you all to think I’m full of hot air,” he replied with a wink.

They laughed brightly. “Ooh, can I add that to my list? I’m documenting super school, you see. The conversations here are so much fun to overhear!”

Patton agreed willingly, and asked about their favorites and classes, watching with pleasure as they drew Thomas into the conversation too. Not everyone was so comfortable with his brother, the shadow of his past still lurking in their minds.

CC smiled suddenly at the brothers, interrupting the conversation. “Did you know? You’re going to be happy.”

“Is that another prediction?” Thomas asked them. He slipped a hand into Patton’s, a tic of seeking reassurance that had been carrying them both through their school days.

CC shook their head, smiling softly. “It’s a guarantee.”

Only feet away, Virgil tugged Roman towards him, fidgeting with the papers in his other hand. “Hey, could you come over here for a second?” Roman looked nervously at Pat and Thomas, not wanting to leave them. Virgil smiled in understanding. “We won’t go far - I’ll help you keep an eye on them. I just want to be safely out of earshot.”

Roman followed him to the the other half of the roof, where the building rose up into the elevated classrooms. He was intrigued by whatever Virgil had to say, but still took the opportunity to slip a hand into his back pocket to squeeze his ass.

Virgil turned with a smile, bringing them chest to chest, and leaned down to steal a kiss. “Are you trying to distract me?”

“Depends, is it working?” Roman asked with a wink. The past month had seen them all maintaining a laser-sharp focus on Thomas and his recovery, leaving only the occasional night and stolen moment for them to solidify the affections they’d finally expressed in so many words. Virgil, Logan, and Roman all cared far more about supporting Patton in his reunion and joint recovery with his brother than escalating their relationship - but there were still the occasional moments where they couldn’t, or didn’t want to, restrain themselves.

Virgil drew back smirking, one brow raised. “Up to you, Princey. We can get distracted in the closet right around the corner, or I can share the surprise with you.”

Roman exaggerated his pout, circling Virgil’s muscled waist with both arms. “How dare you pit my love of your kisses against my love of surprises. Can’t I have both?”

Virgil kissed Roman’s temple. “Here, read this first, and maybe there’ll be time for distraction after.”

He handed Roman the sheaf of paper he’d been twisting in his hands. Roman smoothed out the crinkles and glanced over it. He did a double take and looked over it again, reading closer, mouth falling open as he went.

“A new foster home?”

“Not just any foster home,” Virgil said, a smile slowly stretching across his face. “One that’ll allow supers to stay together with non-supers. One that’ll work with HEARTS without making kids leave their home to learn.”

“For them?” Roman asked, glancing back across the roof at Patton and Thomas.

Virgil nodded. “For them and everyone like them. And if a kid is staying there, there won’t be a cost to go to HEARTS. I’m working on Joan to allow the normal foster allowances to go towards school fees.”

Roman smoothed the paper again with hands that shook slightly. “For me,” he said quietly. It wasn’t a question, but Virgil nodded all the same, resting a comforting hand on his boyfriend’s waist.

Roman’s eyes filled slightly as he smiled up into Virgil’s dark ones. “Virge, this is wonderful . Where’s it going to be? Who’s gonna run it?”

Virgil rubbed the back of his neck, chuckling slightly. “My family’s house, actually. It was my moms’ idea. I already have to talk them out of adopting every single friend they meet - what if I just… didn’t talk them out of it? And I’m hoping that this means Thomas won’t ever have to be on call. His detail can just be protecting the kids, maybe keep Pat with him too-”

Any further words were cut off by Roman tugging his head down to silence him with enthusiastic kiss after kiss. “You wonderful, brilliant, beautiful man,” Roman said in between kisses. “You’re so considerate and sweet and smart!”

The packet of papers were discarded as Virgil responded with equal enthusiasm despite a spreading blush. Roman summoned a discreet wall around them, preempting any students stumbling by.

They could tell the others the news later, at a less interesting time.

~~~~~~

That evening found the brothers Sanders taking time away from the other students again. Mealtimes were fine, but the atmosphere after dinner, where teens and kids and young adults all mixed and played in the common areas still had twinges of uncomfortable familiarity.

So Thomas sat instead with his brother on the roof of the school in the setting sun, staring out at the reflection of the clouds on the harbor. The light bathed his face in blood-red tones as he listened to the crash of waves and call of gulls.

“Patton, I’ve been meaning to ask,” he started, then paused with a nervous laugh. “I don’t know that I really want to know, but I have to find out sometime. How do I know when it became real?”

“What do you mean, kiddo?”

“I spent so long hallucinating in what I think was the facility. But I saw myself escaping almost every day. When did I do it for real? When did I start infecting everyone else with my visions?”

Patton turned to look at his brother. The boy looked scared, but his face was set, even as he refused to make eye contact.

“It was a bit over a month ago that the first attack came,” Patton supplied.

“What happened in that one, Pat?” Thomas asked. His voice was strained and distant.

“Are you sure you want to know, Tommy? You didn’t know what you were doing, you can’t blame yourself-”

“Yes I can, Patton!” Thomas interrupted. “I have to! I didn’t know it was real, but I still chose to attack innocent people, even if I thought they were just illusions. I could have stayed nonviolent, I could have just tried to hide from it all, but I just… it hurt, so much, every time I watched the home collapse around me, every time I had to feel the fire and bricks blasting through us, and I lashed out. I need to know what I did. How else will I ever make up for it?”

Tears leaked out of Patton’s eyes. “You’re… Thomathy, I know you will make up for all of it. We both will. I lashed out, too. We’ll work hard, and we’ll become the heroes we needed when we were younger. We’ll help.”

Thomas grabbed Patton’s hand, squeezing too tightly. “I still need to know, Pat. What did I do that was real? What happened that first time?”

Patton sucked in a shaky breath. “How many of our friends do you remember, from before? From when we were kids?”

Thomas closed his eyes. “I remember… I remember Leo. And Derri and Dahlia. And… Ms. and Miss Parson.” He opened his eyes, looking anxiously at Patton. “Am I right? Were they real?”

“They were real,” Patton confirmed. “They were our Hundred-Acre Wood friends and our moms, or the closest we got.” He steeled himself, breathing in deep. “Do… do you remember Damien?”

Thomas frowned, responding slowly. “Yes, I think I do. He was older than me? He left, early. There was… something happened. An accident?” He looked for confirmation.

“Sort of. The experiments weren’t an accident, but the fire in the lab was. Dam’ got adopted and then the man who’d taken him turned out to be not very nice.”

Thomas stiffened at the mention of ‘lab’, but he squeezed Patton’s hand tight and forced himself to relax. “I… yes, I remember. Did he…?”

“He survived, but we didn’t know it. I only learned he was alive recently… the day of your first real attack. He was transformed, given powers, so he got sent here instead of back home.” Patton gestured to the brick school underneath them. “Tommy… do you remember who was with Damien when he left?”

Thomas spoke sadly, eyes fixed on the horizon, staring off into distant haze of remembrance. “Val. Valerie. Kanga. She… we lost her too.”

Patton swallowed. “She… was in the same place as Damien.”

“And the same thing happened to her?” Thomas turned to look at Patton, his eyes searching for confirmation. At Patton’s nod, he looked off, eyes flitting as he poured through his twisted, unclear memories. “I dreamed about her a lot. I saw her so many times. She kept coming back, sometimes the same age I remember her, sometimes older. One time she brought me Teddy. But usually she just hated me. She blamed me for letting her go and letting her get hurt and... I could never help, never enough.”

Patton squeezed his brother’s hand. “What was the last time you saw her?”

Thomas frowned. “I… the day I hurt Roman. She was there, angry with me, telling me that Roman was the reason she was so hurt. She had burn scars from his light powers, and dark bruises all over.” He looked up. “What that real?”

“No, it wasn’t, kiddo. Roman never met her,” Patton said. Tears were coursing down his face, and his voice was thick. “The last real time was three days before that. She… she was given powers too, like Damien, but they were painful. She had feathers growing out of her skin, purple and black ones…”

Thomas scrambled to stand, backing away from his brother. “No. No, you’re lying! That time wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been!”

Patton stood too, grabbing Thomas’ hand before he walked off the roof by accident. Tears continued to fall down his face. “I’m sorry, Tommy. It’s real.”

“But that means that I-” Thomas choked out, and then the sobs took over as he crumpled to the ground. His entire body shivered and convulsed as the reality of his actions took hold.

Patton knelt with him, trying to hold as much of him as possible, crying into his shirt. “You didn’t know,” he whispered. “You didn’t mean it.”

“But I did it anyway!” Thomas wailed. “What have I done, Pat? What kind of monster am I?”

“The one you were made into,” his brother said, voice hardening despite his grief. “The one the world created, leaving you behind. Like they left me behind.”

“The world didn’t create me, Pat,” Thomas responded. “People did, and I did.”

Now Patton looked at him in confusion. “The heroes? They created me too. They’re part of the world.”

“No, Pat. The people in that facility. The lab. Whatever it was.”

Patton hesitated. “I don’t want to make you talk about it, but… what do you remember of that place? Do you remember faces?”

Thomas wiped his eyes. “No. Maybe I did once, but I- no, I don’t want to remember. It’s too much. Too much pain and fire and…” He curled in on himself again. “Please don’t ask me to remember them, ” he asked in a tiny voice.

Patton wrapped his arms around as much of him as he could, holding him close. “I won’t. I’m sorry, Tommy. It’s okay now. You’re here. You’re safe.”

Thomas reached up a hand to bunch in Patton’s shirt, gripping tightly. “Is this real?” he whispered.

“Real, Thomas. It’s real.”

~~~~~~

Things weren’t always great. Logan had learned to be okay with that. Thomas had nightmares, waking in cold sweat and anger, lashing out at anyone who got close. But slowly, he was recognizing them all faster, seeing them as safe. Recovery would be a long road, but they were all on their way. Virgil had started therapy, partly at Logan’s urging and partly as encouragement for Roman and the Sanders to go too. Logan came sometimes for group sessions, more a supporter than a patient. Roman and Patton had nightmares too, but they always woke to the tangle of limbs in the enormous bed that now dominated most of Virgil’s apartment bedroom. They had a good arrangement, even if Logan was finding that he became far too easily flustered by Roman and Patton’s much more overt forms of affection. It was new and intriguing, but the frequency with which he blushed now was, frankly, embarrassing.

He had time to discover all the new shades of red he was able to turn because the level of super activity had also dropped sharply. Virgil and Logan hadn’t been called since that last attack, and they’d been reveling in their newly-free time by exploring the city as civilians, bringing their boyfriends and Thomas out to the Skylar home in surburbia, and taking them on leisurely flights above the cloud cover. When Logan received a call one morning to go see the mayor at City Hall, he was more intrigued than alert.

“Virge, wanna come?”

“Hm, I didn’t get the call, you think I could?”

“Why not? It’s just Joan.”

“You’re right. C’mon, starlight. Want a lift?”

They walked into the office together, stopping short as they realized the alert hadn’t been quite the casual call they’d assumed. The windows were blocked out with heavy shades. The table was covered in printout and status reports that threatened to drown a very frazzled-looking Talyn in paper.

“Joan, Talyn, what’s going on? You needed to speak with me?” Logan asked. “I brought Virgil, I hope that’s okay…”

Joan paced backed and forth, their normal worry lines looker much deeper than normal. They paused one or twice, about to speak, but glanced at Virgil and Logan, then around the room, and away as they resumed pacing. Finally, they sighed and asked, “Can we go to the roof?”

The roof of City Hall was the same graceful style as the rest of the Neo-Renaissance building, with swooping arches and balustrading that made it stand apart from the marble of the other government buildings. The roof had a cupola that had clearly been designed to make it even more distinctive. Now, it functioned as an entrance for flying supers into the building, one that Virgil preferred if he was arriving without Logan. But that wasn’t its only purpose.

“I’m going to turn on the dampers,” Joan told them bluntly as they filed into the small space from the stairwell.

Logan stiffened in shock, glaring at the mayor.

Virgil reached out a gentle hand to rest on his boyfriend’s back. “I trust it’s for a good reason?” he asked Joan drily.

The mayor nodded. “It’s not about you two. It’s to keep other powers out. I really, really don’t want anyone to overhear.”

Logan sighed, his shoulders falling from their tense position. “I know you wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important. Go ahead.”

Talyn quickly tapped in a PIN on one of the columns, then a now-glowing button. Walls of light blinked into being around them and sealed over the entrance to the rest of the building. Virgil flexed and stretched his free arm. Knowing that his strength and durability were being neutralized wasn’t a comfortable feeling, even if he understood that it was sometimes necessary. He kept the other hand solidly on Logan’s lower back, feeling the man tremble slightly and offering comfort.

“What’s so important that needs all this secrecy, Mayor Stokes,” Logan asked, voice clipped.

Talyn came over with their tablet in both hands. “It’s the database. DREAM’s been compromised.” There was a slight tremor in their hands as they showed Logan the screenshots from the most recently-updated records. “I created this tool, and Joan is the highest-ranking official in the city, and neither of us can read these edits. All we know is that according to the system, you were the one making them.”

Logan took the tablet, staring hard. Finally he looked up. “I didn’t make these changes.” Three pairs of eyes looked back in concern. “But,” he continued, looking at the screen in confusion, “I think I know who did.”

“And who would it be?”

“Drs. Atticus and Portia Lancaster,” Logan said. “My parents. I- it looks like it might be related to their work on the origin of powers. They’ve been hinting at some more exciting experiments.”

“Hold up,” Joan interjected. “Why didn’t I know about this?”

“It was all under the umbrella of EANSC 2.0, and my understanding was they weren’t sure there was anything to find, let alone brief you on. If you didn’t read the full reports, you might not have noticed,” Logan said, removing his glasses to rub his temples. His fingers shook, but his voice remained steady, if a bit detached. “I don’t know the full details myself. If I’d known you hadn’t been informed, I would have procured a summary for you.”

“Lo, we need to get these dampers off and go talk to them,” Virgil said. “If they can tell us more about how to help Thomas, we need to know sooner rather than later.”

Logan replaced his glasses. “Yes. Yes, of course. I- Yes. We shall do that. Yes.”

Virgil paused in his pacing and came over, cupping Logan’s chin in his hand. “Lo? Are you alright?”

Logan looked up at him and attempted a smile. “I… I am trepidatious. I am unclear as to why they would have neglected to inform me, if they made a breakthrough like this seems to imply.” His voice sounded oddly formal and strained. “Let us go discuss with them at once. And, Virgil, if you would - permit me to take the lead, as it were. I am quite confident there will be a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. We need only ask without accusation, and it should be all revealed to us.”

“Logan-” Joan started, but Logan just shook his head. Talyn typed in their PIN again to deactivate the dampers.

“You’ll at least let us know what they say?” Joan asked as Logan and Virgil stepped to the edge of the cupola.

Logan took a deep breath and looked back. “You’ll be the first.” He stepped off the edge, becoming a blur as he did so.

Virgil nodded to both Joan and Talyn before leaping out to follow his partner.

~~~~~~

“Logan! Virgil! What a lovely surprise!”

The Drs. Lancaster were both in their lab at the university, and Portia greeted them both with a smile and a little wave. Her red hair was pulled back into a bun, but wavy strands had popped free, held back only by the headband tied into a bow. Virgil had asked, once, how no one ever recognized the former public face of Harmony City’s Heroes, even if she had changed her last name. The doctor had winked, tapping her frames, and said, “It’s all in the glasses.”

Her husband was able to pause his work too and came over smiling. Virgil had always liked the Docs - they’d welcomed him into their home as his ‘City Family,’ once it became clear he couldn’t commute out to his mums in the suburbs as much as he would have liked.

He really, really hoped that Logan was correct.

“What brings you ‘round, big guy? It’s been months!” Atticus asked, going for a hug. Virgil didn’t so much hug back as he patted the man’s shoulders awkwardly, glancing meaningfully at Logan.

The young man cleared his throat. “Mom, Dad, I have a question for you.”

Atticus’ eyes lit up, looking at Virgil and back to his son. “Are you asking us for our blessing, finally?”

Logan did a slight double-take. “Beg pardon?”

Portia chuckled, slinking an arm around Atticus’ waist. “Your father here has been hoping you’re going to make an honest man out of Virgil soon.”

Virgil blushed deep crimson at that. “I- uh. Our boyfriends might object if we got married without them?”

Logan elbowed him. “Virge, I hadn’t told them that yet-”

“Shit-”

“Boyfriends? Multiple? Are you starting a collection?” Atticus asked, blinking. “Is it like a butterfly collection, are you collecting taxonomic details?”

Logan cleared his throat. “No, Dad. I- Virgil and I have started mutually dating Roman and Patton. All four of us as equal romantic partners.”

A slight crease formed in Portia’s forehead. “Roman and Patton? Have we met them?”

“Not as such, no,” Logan said, not meeting either parents’ eyes as he fiddled with his glasses.

Atticus and Portia stared in a mixture of confusion and concern. Logan shot Virgil a pleading look, linking their fingers together.

Virgil flinched. This conversation was far more personal than he’d been prepared for, but he’d gotten them into this mess in the first place. “You may know them by their super names - Crimson Marauder and Gale Force.”

Logan squeezed Virgil’s fingers so tightly that he would have bruised, if he ever bruised.

Portia pursed her lips, the wrinkle in her brow becoming more pronounced. “Weren’t you fighting them, dear?”

“Yes, Mother, I was,” Logan started. “But things, ah, changed. And they’re reformed now.”

Virgil wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Atticus’ face in something that had to try so hard to taken as a smile. “But they’re villains, Lo?”

“They were villains,” Virgil clarified. “They both went through-- god, they went through some rough shit, and the anger from their experiences made them more villainous for a while there. But they really are wonderful men, and they’re nonviolent now.”

“Well. I suppose such a thing is possible, hypothetically,” Portia replied. She tapped her lips with a long, elegant finger. “If trauma was so involved in their moral failings, what on earth could have shaken them enough that they’re now attempting to erase them?”

If Virgil had been a cat, he would have hissed. Instead, his shoulders and back stiffened even as a chill ran down his spine. He exhaled slowly, making sure he didn’t accidentally squeeze Logan’s hand back. Feeling like this, he might hurt him inadvertently.

“Actually, Mother, Father, the answer to that question is the very question we have come to ask,” Logan said. He stood ramrod straight, meeting his mother’s eyes levelly despite the difference in their heights.

“What’s with the fancy-talk, Lolo?” Atticus asked, chuckling uncomfortably. “We’re all family here.”

“Speaking of family,” Logan continued, “Patton and Roman found their perspective on what makes a hero or villain dramatically changed by the events of the last several months. This was largely to the reappearance of Patton’s brother, Thomas Sanders.”

Virgil had never quite determined if his acute awareness of others’ body movements was part of his powers, or if it was just the natural power of anxiety. But it was enough for him to notice that both the Drs. Lancaster blinked in a way that looked a lot like recognition.

“That may be another name you have not heard, I am aware,” Logan continued. “But I am quite confident you know who he is. His alias was Agent Whisper.”

Portia gasped. “Goodness, how upsetting for your friend that his brother was such a terror upon our city! No wonder he was so upset. Such a reveal, and losing even an evil sibling would be terrible, I’m sure.”

“Dr. Lancaster,” Virgil cut in, “Patton didn’t lose his brother again. Thomas is also in reform. I thought you knew.”

“How would I know, dear?”

“Because you’ve been in the DREAM Index,” Logan replied, taking back the thread.

Atticus smiled, round cheeks crinkling. “Lo, you know she doesn’t have access to that anymore! They can’t let just anyone see all the supers’ data!”

“But you two do. You asked for my information, when I handed off my dissertation. To cross-reference, you said.”

Portia pursed her lips. “We did, didn’t we. It must have slipped my mind.”

Logan frowned. “Mother. Please. One of you has been making edits under my name. I’d like to know why, and what it has to do with Thomas.”

“That was me,” Atticus said. “I was preserving the integrity of our research. You know how important that is.”

“Which research was being implicated?” Portia asked conversationally, as if her only son wasn’t still staring her down.

“Project Charcoal.”

“Ah, a good call, my love. That’s far too sensitive to be revealed.”

“Even to the mayor?” Virgil asked innocently. “Because not even they could see past the redaction.”

Atticus walked over to the lab bench. “Lo, come sit. No need to be so suspicious - you know we’ll tell you everything.”

Logan looked to Virgil automatically, who shrugged in response. Are we ready to do this? Do we have a choice? They squeezed their interlocked hands and sat across the bench from the doctors.

“So. My dissertation became Project Charcoal,” Logan stated.

“Yes, that’s what it came to be called,” Portia said. “EANSC 2.0 was too much of a mouthful, and lost accuracy.”

“And you didn’t tell me this sooner because…?”

“You never asked, kiddo,” Atticus said with a smile. “We were telling you about our experiments - the refining of the dampener field, the RNA sequencing, that’s all under the project!”

Logan frowned. “And yet, there is clearly more that you neglected to mention.”

“Well, yes, but we didn’t want to distract you. Your hero work was more important,” Portia explained. “We were continuing our research on side-effects of EAs on civilians and it ended up being merged together, that was really the only big change we didn’t tell you about.”

“...the side-effect research?” Virgil asked quietly.

“It started after the Mystic Magician,” Logan explained. “He managed to succeed, in a terrible way. The Viper is proof of that, and the Condor was too. But it rocked the conventional understanding of enhanced abilities. My parents and the larger genetic research community started looking into whether or not civilians were affected by being exposed to active abilities.”

Atticus nodded. “We wanted to minimize collateral damage beyond what could be seen. Were bystanders being slowly mutated? Was the density of supers here self-fulfilling? So we looked at both demographic data and autopsies of casualties from super fights. We started seeing the beginnings of patterns, but nothing definite. And then we hit a wall completely when Logan was about nine years old.”

“And then, in a fluke, we discovered the EANSC - the Neutralization & Stasis Chamber. And the dampening field,” Portia said, eyes alight. “An electromagnetic field that affected the use of powers. For the first time ever, there was the idea that abilities could actually be affected externally. We had a whole new way to conceptualize the side-effects and to focus our research. And only two years after we perfected EANSC enough to implement, Logan joined us in studying just how the emotional effects of the dampers were connected to the use of abilities.” She smiled fondly at her son. “If we hadn’t been inspired before, getting to work with you was what really did it.”

Logan smiled back, relaxing. “Thanks, Mom.”

Virgil was frowning, though. “But what were you looking for?”

Logan grinned at his boyfriend, squeezing his hand. “We’re scientists, Virge, isn’t it obvious?”

Virgil raised an eyebrow.

Logan opened his mouth to speak at the same time as his mother did the same.

“A greater understanding of the world!!”

“A way to stop supervillains forever.”

Logan whipped around, jaw going slack. “What?”

Atticus nodded. “Loberry, don’t be naive. We don’t get these kinds of resources just for being lecturers at the university. We don’t get highest clearance in the city for teaching undergrads how to run a simple gel electrophoresis. We’re on a direct research mandate from the State. Why do you think your mother thought this work was more important than remaining an active-duty hero?”

The blood was slowly draining out of Logan’s face. “I- she was taking time off for us, for me and Bea and Jem, right?” He looked at Portia, who smiled.

“Of course, dear, that too. But I’d been fighting for almost 20 years. I was practically a senior citizen in hero years. And I was so tired of fighting villains, over and over, knowing there would always be more. So when we were asked if we’d like to work towards ending the fight once and for all, I couldn’t very well say no!”

Virgil looked sick. “You- and what, you’d unmake villains? Like the Magician tried to make them?”

Atticus laughed. “Of course not! The Magician was so ham-handed, it was sloppily done and clearly had painful results. We wanted a painless way to remove the risk. Like declawing a cat.”

“Declawing a cat isn’t painless, it’s mutilation,” Virgil snapped. “It leaves them entirely unable to fend for themselves. Was that the plan? Non-heroes left defenseless?”

“In captivity, preferably, until we were sure they could re-enter society,” Portia said with a shrug. “It’s more humane that the life sentence they get now, except for those who break out.”

Logan had released Virgil’s hands, instead gripping the table until his knuckles had turned white. “You never told me,” he said to himself quietly. Shaking his head to clear it, he looked up. “You know more about Agent Whisper than you’ve admitted, too. Tell me. Now.”

Atticus made eye contact with Portia, who inclined her head.

“We examined bystander casualties directly after some incidents and were able to find electromagnetic signatures in the brains that resembled damper fields, but different in a very key way. They were equal and opposite. If the fields correspond to suppressed emotions, then these brains had their emotions intensified, instead.”

Virgil shivered at the thought, reaching for Logan once more under the bench. Without looking, Logan moved a hand to link their fingers once more. He kept his gaze fixed on his parents.

“If there was a heightened effect happening as collateral in bystanders, we thought, there was a chance we could recreate it deliberately,” Portia continued. “And if it persisted enough to show up in autopsy, that modulation in both directions could potentially be made permanent. We could replicate dampers without the tech! But we needed to look at side effects first. We had to wait for more casualties with exposure to extreme ability usage.”

Virgil felt a headache starting to drum in his temples, the ache of anger and tears that he refused to let fall as the pieces connected before him. “And you got the fucking golden opportunity, didn’t you. At the foster home. All of Pat’s rage and grief just created the goddamn ideal specimen.”

Atticus blinked at the venom in Virgil’s voice, but responded calmly,. “It was a tragedy. Heartbreaking, of course. But tragedy breeds emotion, and emotion is the lifeblood of your abilities.”

“We were only trying to use the fields to affect the brainwaves that hadn’t yet petered out,” Portia said, as if that excused it. “We shocked when we picked up a renewed heartbeat. But the brainwaves hadn’t changed. It was still brain-dead by any measure.”

“He.” Virgil’s voice was iron and blood as he spat out the correction.

Logan was paler than Virgil had ever seen him, even when he’d needed treatment for blood loss back in the earliest months of their heroing. “And you kept going? What happened to only experimenting on organ and science donors?”

Atticus smiled in confusion. “Lo, that was never the case. We didn’t perfect the EANSC with cadavers, we had villains to test with.”

“I’m sure they agreed to be lab rats, too,” Virgil accused.

Portia just shrugged. “Anyway, we kept the body in cryo except when running more tests. It still appeared to be brain-dead, right up until the day it- sorry, he,” she corrected exaggeratedly, ” He escaped. And started killing people.”

Logan looked ready to yell, his face yet, but he stopped and took a deep breath. “Are you familiar with his powers? Have you heard about what his memory of that time period is?”

“I’ve read the Index entry,” Portia replied blandly.

“He relived his entire life hundreds of times, and the accident at the foster homes thousands more,” Virgil said quietly, dangerously. “He saw everyone he loved die, then alive and loving him, then dying again. And when the memories were done replaying, new ones started being created. All emotionally charged, extremes of elation and sorrow and fury.”

Atticus looked at Virgil, eyes glinting with interest. “So you’re saying the prolonged exposure to the modified dampers actually created this power? Fascinating!”

“What the fuck, Dad?” Logan spat out. “This isn’t some mere curiosity! This is someone’s life. You destroyed the psyched of a real, living, breathing kid and all you care about is what it means for your fucking research grant?”

“Logan, there’s no need for such language,” Portia chided. Virgil shot a glare in her direction. She looked back, eyebrow arched. “It’s just research.”

“Research that you’re going to stop, correct?” Logan asked.

“When we’ve just gotten confirmation of the biggest breakthrough to date?” she asked incredulously. "We’ll take more precautions going forward, of course, but by no means will we stop. That would be illogical.”

Blood pounded in Virgil’s ears. “I’m sorry, what? You’re going to keep going? Hell fucking no.”

Portia narrowed her eyes. “Virgil, be serious here. This is too important to let a tantrum get in the way.”

“Oh, you want a tantrum?” Virgil rumbled. He stood, bracing himself in a fighting stance. “Let me show you what a tantrum looks like.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not going to fight you,” Portia scoffed, though she stood too. She looked over at her son. “Either of you.”

“So you agree to end the program then? Because it’s one or the other,” Virgil snapped. He tapped his watch decisively. “The mayor is hearing about this. Now or never, Professor Polarity . End this madness, or get ready to see your precious EANSCs up close and personal for the foreseeable future.”

Portia’s metal hair tie popped out of her bun, letting her hair fall free as the tie flew into the air beside her. She lifted her hand, and a metal apparatus flew from the back bench to her grip. “Don’t be stupid, Virgil. I’m immune to it. It’s an electro magnetic field. You, however, aren’t so lucky.” She flicked a switch on the machine, bringing it to life. The familiar glow of dampers show out the front.

“I’m sorry, Lo!” Virgil shouted, and dove at Atticus, easily manhandling him and trapping him, one arm around his neck. “Don’t try it, Portia. I don’t need powers to be able to cut off his air. You turn that on me, you won’t like what happens.”

“You see, Logan?” Portia said, not turning as she scowled at Virgil. “You see what happens? Virgil’s spent so much time with those villains that he’s resorting to their tactics. It’s a contagion. This is why they can’t be forgiven. What reformation can there be, when their lack of morals spreads so?”

Logan was frozen, eyes flicking between his boyfriend, who had his father caught in an uncomfortable chokehold, and his mother, who was pointing a weapon at his boyfriend.

“You don’t exactly have the moral high ground here,” Virgil growled at the former hero. “Unless torturing a child is considered a virtue now.”

“Use it, Porsh!” Atticus rasped around Virgil’s arm. His fingers scrabbled to get a grip, but Virgil’s muscles were unmovable. “He’s bluffing!”

“Am I?” Virgil asked. “You said it yourself, I’m clearly infected by the influence of my other boyfriends. Who knows what I’m capable of, now? I know you love your experiments, but you just might want to not put this particular hypothesis to the test.”

Portia sneered, her face managing to look lovely even when twisted in scorn. “Atticus, dear. I love you very much. I apologize in advance if the max setting hurt you, too.” She aimed the damper squarely at Virgil and hit the switch.

Except she didn’t. And her arms were tied behind her back with pure rope, nothing metal. And the damper was secured in a plastic bin at the corner of the lab. And Logan was standing between his mother and his boyfriend, chest heaving.

“Mom,” he said, voice breaking. “How- how could you? Why?”

“I’m a hero, Logan,” she replied, as steadily as someone who'd just been bound by a family member could be. “I serve the greater good. I thought I’d taught you that, but clearly I failed.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, my love,” Atticus interjected. Virgil had released his neck, though he kept his arms twisted up behind his back. “We both tried. It turns out he wasn’t as much a Lancaster as we’d hoped.”

“Shut up,” Virgil snapped. “I’m tired of your bile, both of you.” He turned to the window, seeing the reflection of flashing lights.

Logan had his back to them all. Virgil saw the quiver in his shoulders and knew he was crying and trying to hide it. He quickly grabbed a stray zip tie and secured Atticus by the wrists to the lab bench. Then he crossed to Logan and wrapped his arms around him.

He didn’t speak. He just let Logan turn and cling to him, face buried in his chest.

Let it out, love. I’ll keep the world at bay.

~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

D.R.E.A.M. Index #265345 Classification: A.2.i [Secondary Tier Hero, Legacy] /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Do we update this? - Talyn /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Let’s archive this one. Save the legacy. We can record the truth in clearance for now. We can at least save Logan some heartache. - Joan Name: Professor Polarity Status: INACTIVE /////////Reason: Retired /////////[CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Reason: Jailed pending trial Civilian Name: [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] Portia Lancaster née Portia Price Affiliation: Hero ///////// H.A.T.C.H. Status: Blackout Only ///////// [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] H.A.T.C.H. Status: Inactive Partners/Sidekicks: DI#A-2305 - Forces of Nature Primary Foes: DI#265333 - The Mystic Magician; Powers: Magnetokinesis Costume: Jumpsuit patterned in red-and-blue rectangles; blue cape with Ampère model of a magnetic field; gold belt with a buckle in the shape of a horseshoe magnet Age: 54 Height: 5’6” Pronouns: She/Her H.E.A.R.T.S. Class of ‘82 Note: Mother of DI#337255 - Dr. Vectorious; Co-inventor of the Enhanced Ability Neutralization and Stasis Chamber (EANSC) now in use at City of Harmony Enhanced Ability Containment Center (CHEACC). [Hall of Fame notes archived]. ///////// [CLEARANCE: TOP SECRET] As architect of the covert Project Charcoal, she attempted to discover a ‘cure’ that would strip supers of their abilities. Involved in reviving and creating DI#337501, see IR19-Z-0001

~~~~~~~~

a/n: It’s been over a year since I started this story, which is insane. So much has happened since I woke up with an idea of “what if royality were villains.” Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos and commenting and particularly for theorizing. I’ve been in love with this idea, and knowing that anyone liked it too gave me incentive to finish it.

One last epilogue coming up. I promised the boys a happier ending.

26 notes · View notes

lifted-drifter · 4 years

Text

Y’all, I have been so high and elated the past two days off of my teachers comments about my essay and I just want to share her comments and remember this feeling and this moment.

In my food literature class we’ve been reading stories and novels that tie into food in someway, and we’ve been learning how to write about food and how food can connect to so many different things in life like our culture, our relationships, and our families that we had growing up. I’ve had a lot of fun in this class and really love my professor for it.

For our midterm project, she left it pretty open ended for us to create whatever we wanted. Whether it be a recipe from one of the stories we’ve read, or a more traditional style essay over whatever we wanted.

A book that we read that really spoke to me was Margaret Atwood’s novel The Edible Woman. If you haven’t read it I highly recommend it. But in the story the young woman who is the main character finds herself trying to find herself as a late twenty something woman and trying to navigate the relationships in her life and dealing with what her roles are expected to be as a women growing up in the 1960’s.

Atwood tells the novel in a very perculiar way. She starts the story with a first person narrative as if we are in the main characters head. Using I, me and my pronouns. In the middle of the story she switches the narration to a third person narrative as if the character has lost herself and is seeing her life in more from more of a dissociative state.

This way of writing really spoke to me and reminded me a lot of my last relationship. While in it I felt lost, and as if I was just an outsider looking in to the actions I was taking throughout it. Atwood also used a lot of symbolism with food and the act of the consumption of people to solidify her points of her story. In my last relationship, we were consuming each other so much that we forgot to devour ourselves first.

When thinking about what my personal project would be for the midterm I came to terms that I was ready to tell my story of my relationship and I wanted to do it in the way that Atwood did in her novel. For some reason, I felt comfortable sharing my story with my teacher, and after talking to her about tips to go about, it I set about getting it down on paper for once since the relationship has been over.

My first draft was written during 3 different classes and on 12 different pieces of notebook paper all in longhand. I finally got it typed in two days and spent 4 hours straight, rereading, revising and putting the final touches on it. 8 pages later it was finished and submitted.

I eagerly waited for her to grade it. I ended up sending it to a few of my friends who never found the time to actually read it, but in the end my professors opinion was all I really cared about.

Last night she finally posted the grades with her comments attached. I won’t relay the entire message that she sent but there were a few comments that have been running through my head all day today.

She said the last part hit her deep in her soul. She told me that she was riveted from the very first line. She told me that it was one of the best personal essays she has read as a teacher and hopes that I continue to write. She told me I have a story tellers grasp on detail and pacing.

I can not express enough how grateful I am for these comments and her kind words to solidify that I am on the right path with my hopes and aspirations of continuing to write. I thought it was pretty good but I had no idea if it would be well read, especially from a published author and teacher in the craft of writing.

I’m happy I finally got the story written in a way that is as exceptional as the story itself. Maybe one day I’ll post it on my tumblr, but for now it’s just for my own consumption and I finally feel as if the relationship has been purged out of me.

#personal #the edible woman #margaret atwood #relationships #english lit major #english major #college

4 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

First Day Of My Life (Trixya) - Sinatra

A/N: Songfic, titled and based around the song First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes. I use Brian for Trixie and Katya for Katya to keep from confusion. Pronouns change from whether they're in drag, but mostly it is either mentioned/implied, or isn't very important. Also, sorry if the formatting or spaces are a bit screwed, I'm not used to submitting on Tumblr mobile or on Tumblr at all. Enjoy!

This is the first day of my life,

Swear I was born right in the doorway.

Trixie remembers sauntering through those bright doors, insecure and making a faux-play at confidence all the while. Seeing that face, just for the first time. Nothing was brought on that first encounter, besides the fact that Katya, that was her name, made her feel so much more insecure due to her beauty.

I went out in the rain and then everything

changed,

They're spreading blankets on the beach.

Elimination was something that was inevitable, that was something Trixie learned much too early on. But there was always a sense of security in it; If she was going to make a fool of herself for national television, might as well make them feel as if her time was due. There's no comfort in a second, or sorry, 10th, place. But keeping up a false hope always seemed corny to her.

Yours was the first face that I saw,

I think I was blind before I met you.

In the midst of the controlled chaos, Brian saw far too much when he wasn't in the outfit that helped him shut it out. It started with jokes only they would laugh at in the workroom, vents and stresses. And then before he knew it, he packed his things and left. As Trixie was approaching the back of the main stage, ready to make the final impression, her eyes caught to Katya's. Only a shocked face was caked behind all the makeup, and Trixie couldn't blame her. There really were no hard feelings in it. It's all fine for now, no more stresses, no more vents, no more inside jokes. Dedragged the next day, Brian was emotionally empty, and he didnt know why. There were no bright white smiles in his life anymore, he guessed, and that would stay for a while. But a number placed in his makeup bag changed that; He'd just have to wait a little longer.

I don't know where I am, I don't know

where I've been,

But I,

Know where I want to go.

As the airing started, he was booked to the fucking max.

Booked to where he couldn't find a single empty space in his calendar.

And as much as it was comforting, it was draining, and he knew who to call just for that. So he did, a lot, almost every other day. Instead of waking up with headaches and sore feet and back, he got up, motivated, knowing at the end of all of this he'd get that call from Katya, who was coincidentally also Brian, (they had a good laugh at that). It ended his bad days, long shows and meet and greets with a smile, even if he was gross and made crude jokes just to get a laugh out of him at night.

And so I thought I'd let you know,

That these things take forever,

I especially am slow.

It was when he was staying with Katya, a few years after they had met. Best friends, beyond best. It's humorous looking back, seeing how frank and bold the situation, or Katya, was. It was a simple ask to fuck, and though Brian was tempted in the most disgusting way, he couldn't let what they have sink over an impulse. Laughs and no's, they carried on until the next encounters that got weird, and Brian just wanted to keep things in control. Thats just how he was.

But I realized that I need you,

and I wondered if I could

come home.

It was a bad night. Everyone had them, no one wants them, and no one wants to go through them alone. Grabby people, shouts of drunken people. It got to the point where he got heckled, fucking heckled on the street when he wasn't fully dedragged and he decided to just walk the small way home after changing his wig and heels. Random people threatening, chasing, him running, locking the door two times over and sitting on the couch with the only available weapon next to him. He was shaking violently, and the only person he wanted to call had no hope of response. But he called anyway, letting the rhythmic dial tones almost calm him until he heard a pause and a, "Hey, whats up?" amongst booming club music somewhere in the background. Explaining the situation was the last thing he wanted to do as it was fresh, but when Katya heard the shakiness in his voice, and the almost-crying panic, he had to.

And Katya helped.

So much.

I remember the time you drove all night,

Just to meet me in the morning.

And I thought it was strange, you said

everything changed.

You felt as if you just woke up.

It was no place any friend wanted to be in when your friend said they'd drive hours to your stupid apartment just to make sure you're okay. It's the ultimate guilt, ultimate "I'm okay, I swear. If you come up here I swear to god..". But if Brian was convinced Katya didn't have a followthrough with something, he wasn't now. Hours later, still wired with panic, his head shot up to a jingle of the front door trying to be opened, and then a knock. He couldn't feel his god damn skin he was so freaked out. But he knew the outcome of opening the door wouldn't be dangerous mere moments later when he remembered their conversation. With a shaky step, he unlocked his door, and opened. There stood Katya, with still a small fading black liner around his eyes. His grin shone brighter than the rising sun in his living room after no sleep.

"Thank you." He said, after Katya let himself in and promptly wrapped his arms around the taller man in a gentle hug. He couldn't not cry. He was dramatic, and even if there was no harm, his night- no, day, became so much better then.

And you said,

"This is the first day of my life,

I'm glad I didn't die before I met you.

But now I don't care, I could go anywhere

with you,

And I'd probably be happy."

Years pass after their encounters and soothing patterns on Brian's back just to get him to fall asleep. They're successful, and together so often Brian's feelings have almost stopped bubbling at the edge before they spill. There's always the reassurance, for both of them, that they're there for eachother no matter what. Being on tour together was another odd component of closeness, because unlike being near acquaintances, it didn't feel as if Brian was being suffocated or he was wearing thin with the constant interaction. It was easy, almost too easy to be with Katya.

So if you wanna be with me,

with these things there's no telling,

we just have to wait and see.

But I'd rather be working for a paycheck,

Than waiting to win the lottery.

"You do know we have separate rooms right.." Brian said with a light laugh afterwards. Katya was sprawled out horizontally on his bed, with Brian on his phone watching as Katya did the same and hummed to himself. He laughed and nodded, looking over to the other man. "It's no fun. And I'd be texting you from the other room anyway." Brian simply sighed, not out of annoyance or a need to be alone, just to fill the air because he was right. "Well can you at least sit on my bed like a normal person?... And not perform gymnastics for your Instagram stories?" Brian laughed harder as Katya's leg came up and peeked behind his head on the screen of his phone as he filmed. "Mama, this is a deep stretch rou-TINE!" As the laughter died down Katya let out a, "Y'know what, yeah." and got up to crawl over next to Brian in his bed. Brian smiled and rested his head on Katya's shoulder, just appreciating his company even if he's had an abundance of it over these months. He saw Katya position his camera to take a selfie of them both and Brian just laughed at the sheer cheesiness of it. Katya sported a grin next to the meek smiling Brian, and he captioned the story, '3 year anniversary with my beloved wife! Honeymoon bound.' along with the location of the major city they were in. Brian laughed, "Please send that to me."

Moments later, they were in a comfortable silence, and within minutes they were just cuddling together as Brian watched what Katya was doing on his phone out of sheer boredom. "I love you." Brian said as almost a small nothing now, and Katya smiled and said, "I know." Brian knew the response he'd give, and he was satisfied. "Cunt." He giggled, letting them both ease into a fit of laughs, with Katya looking at him earnestly only centimeters away. It always got to him how good Katya looked out of drag, made him almost as insecure as when he saw him in drag in the workroom the first day he saw his face. There didn't need to be any non-drag kisses to solidify whatever this was, which was a bit sad on his part, but his feelings were so strong sometimes he gets blinded. There truly was no appropriate way to show his appreciation. So there they were, staring mindlessly at eachother with a hint of a smile on both of their faces. "Can I kiss you?" Katya said as he always did. Brian of course chuckled and nodded, and it happened sincerely. Not heated, not masked. Eyes just slipped shut gently, just as gentle as the kiss. It was long, and it didn't change. Maybe the emotion he put in it will do for now, because he couldn't imagine finding words after they pulled apart. And he couldn't find any words. Just a strong tugging at his heart, not so much bitter as it was dying to be heard. But he didn't allow anything to become of it as he put his face back into the crook of Katya's neck and exhaled, closing his eyes and letting the sleep approach him slowly, and then all at once.

Besides, maybe this time is different

I mean, I really think you like me.

#rpdr fanfiction #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #trixya #fluff #angst #hurt/comfort #song fic #canon compliant #sinatra #concrit welcome

16 notes · View notes