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#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao
deus-ex-mona · 4 months
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starting the year ✨wrong✨
#(this is about work ok. long rant in the tags bc auauauauauauauuauauauauauauauaaaaaaaa)#i’ve worked for just t h r e e (3!!!!) days this year and i think im already all burned out lmao#first i was stuck doing 2 workstations bc this freakin’ b o z o of a coworker decided to take the week off without prior notice#and *t h e n* the internal components of one of said workstations kicked the bucket and was only replaced today. sads.#rip to our wasted time and futile fixing efforts though. flashtag wetried#that’s not all t h o u g h i was told that i have to jump to the other work shift bc one of my coworkers is resigning#b u t the thing is. all of the other dudes in that shift are from [insert bordering country] and always speak in their nation’s language#so i won’t be able to communicate well with them for the most part ​esp s o bs#and if [insert country here] has a national holiday and a l l of them decide to take the day off..#well. um. ahahahaha. im ✨screwed✨#(but speaking of taking the day off… one of said guys on that shift has an approved leave for cny. which is funny bc he’s not even chinese)#(rips if the actual other chinese dude on that team has his leave request rejected bc of that guy lol. happy cny to him ig)#a n d also i was made to (sorta) teach these two new coworkers (of sorts) the workstation i’m at for the week#b u t the thing is. i do everything here by left (didn’t receive formal training either lmao sadge)#and i also couldn’t explain anything well in general bc it seems like my flow of thoughts can’t streamline itself ig#so i think i confused the poor guys more than anything. but like. why me??????? aaaauauaaaaaaaaaa#idk why one of them came back for more ‘education’ from me thoughhhhh#i’ve tried teaching ‘em stuff at another workstation before this and my feedback was ‘wait slow down you talk too fast’ s o o o o .#ig i’ll have to guide them though again in the morning though. sighs. this wasnt in my job description :(#speaking of job descriptions though… this h e l l a annoying guy no one likes who resigned a few months ago (to much rejoicing)…#is!!!!! coming!!!! back!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#w h y. like. w h y. why is he so attached to this company he l l o? why is our manager so attached to him helloooooooo????? why him???????#our workloads literally t r i p l e when he’s around bc he’s just the way he is. auauauauauauauauaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaaaaaaaaa i dont wanna work aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#science industry (derogatory) questionable laboratory conditions (derogatory)#felt cute; thought about retiring early idk
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fluffiwrites · 1 year
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I was bored so I made these 😎🦖 also WOOO HAPPY NEW YEAR FIRST POST OF 2023 YEEE
~Agents Headcanons~
~Old Agent 3/Captain 3~
They are so ticklish but so embarrassed about it 😭
Embarrassed lee? EMBARRASSED LER they *cannot* tickle somebody without getting flustered HELP
They try to fight back & always hold in their laugh, Marie & Callie used to gang up on them all the time so it either didn’t work or the idols got wrecked
They try to keep a serious attitude, but sometimes they need a few tickles to comfort all of the fighting & battles
Ribs.
BACK.
BACKS OF THE KNEES.
When the idols first discovered they were ticklish, they would never let it go, but now it’s more of a cheer up thing for all of them.
If needs be they’ll pin ur arm right above ur head (to tickle under ur arms definitely not to stop u from getting them back)
~Agent 4~
V E R Y T I C K L I S H
Mischievous switch definitely. They might’ve tickled you first but it’s the rules that u have to catch them if u want revenge 🤷‍♀️
I like to think them & old agent 3 are best friends, they met through the idols ofc & love to relate their stories together (mixed in with a few tickle fights & chases)
They don’t get flustered easily but 3 has always managed to just with a simple smirk no teases or anything. 4 tried to recreate it but failed miserably, & got a tickle attack instead.
Their sides & neck are such bad spots they will wriggle their way out of there as best as they can omg
Teaser omg. “So stoic but so ticklish…” “THAHAT ALL YOHOU GAHT?” “I’ve never seen anybody as ticklish as you” etc
~Agent 8~ (ik not technically but they are for me)
They only giggle a bit but MY GOD DO THEY SQUIRM
They had never been tickled before so when they met marina & pearl they taught her what it was (examples provided ofc)
Sides belly & hips are exposed 🤭
They love comfort tickles
Switch definitely, making people laugh & smile is their favourite thing so why wouldn’t tickling be?
The most heart melting ler ever. Theyll complement ur laugh & say things like “seeing you do the smile makes me feel the happy!” In broken inklish
They find ur spots scarily fast
If someone lies about not being ticklish ppl will just get 8 to check for them LMAO
BEING TICKLED HOWEVER
Favourite thing ever
~New agent 3~
Small fry tickles them all of the time accidentally & on purpose.
They’re a folder. (Squeezing sides? *fold up chair mode activated*)
Their sides are a bad spot but their forearms are surprisingly ticklish
They can’t take games (teddy bear, three pigs, hide & seek tickle etc) ITS TOO FLUSTERING
Lee all the way
Trying to tickle somebody consists of giggling with them & dreading the revenge afterwards
They’re a sucker for aftercare hugs
& TICKLE HUGS
Ok I think that’s it ik Callie & Marie are agents but I’ll save that for an idols one!
I hope u liked these & have a nice day loves!
(^ω^)
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kermittedfelony · 2 years
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going away
Two stories in two days? U guys are lucky bastards xx
Howdy friends! It’s nice to see I’ve got a couple of followers from my stories!!!! Like wtf!!!! Whack. Anyway, enjoy my offering of yet another hurt/comfort story!
Love, kermy <3
Summary: Nat goes away on a long mission; the reader rapidly deteriorates
TW: panic attacks, bad mental health, struggles with eating, self-harm, coarse language
Natasha Romanoff x gn!reader
C H A P T E R 1
Word Count: 920
You hadn’t slept all night. A sense of dread had filled your body for the entirety of the night. You tried all the usual things that allow you to calm down (you struggled with sleep, as did every one of the Avengers), but none of them seemed to have any lasting effect on you. Nat finally started stirring next to you.
You heard a sleepy mumble come from underneath the mountain of pillows, “morning baby.”
“Morning love. How’d you sleep?”
“Well enough, what about you?”
“Yeah, you know… same as always,” you replied, turning your head to the side. “You hungry?”
Nat poked her head up from beneath the covers and made direct eye-contact with you. “You know it. I was thinking of maki- “
You quickly jumped out of the bed
“Nope! Do not finish that sentence! I’m making breakfast for you. I’m not sending you off without a good as HELL hot meal.”
Nat chuckled from her spot on the bed, “alright, alright. Have your way y/n. I won’t say no to something cooked by you,” she finished with a wink.
You smiled, gave her a kiss before chucking on a hoodie and running out of your shared bedroom door. You were making quick work of preparing the bacon and eggs for cooking when you felt a pair of arms wrap around your midsection from behind.
“What are you concocting this morning?”
“Well, it’s something I’ve crafted over a number of years. Something I’ve poured all my blood sweat and tears into. It has taken generations to perfect. It is a delicacy rarely found in any country or culture. I call it…. bacon and eggs.”
Nat raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“WoOoOow, I have never heard of it before.”
“Oh, it’s a true masterpiece.”
Clint yelled from around the corner, “If it’s so good, I hope you’re happy to share y/n.”
He, Steve and Sam had all just finished an early morning training session.
“You boys better get the fuck in line,”. Wanda waltzed into the kitchen from the other direction.
“Where the hell are you all coming from? Nat, I think there’s an infestation of sea gulls in the compound.”
Nat sucked in a breath, “Yeah, I think you might be right on that one babe.”
Clint and Sam instantly protested the name calling, while Steve quietly chuckled and grabbed a banana from the counter. While everyone was distracted, Wanda sneakily floated a strip of bacon from the pan over to herself before making her escape.
Nat’s voice rose above the ruckus, “alright, alright, clear out assholes, let me eat my going away breakfast in peace.”
“Oh yeah shit, how long is the mission for?” Clint asked.
“Three months. Out on the eastern coast of Russia.”
While Nat reminded Clint of the mission details, your eyes dropped back to the pan as you started serving up the breakfast. You placed the two plates at the table and sat down in your seat. Nat finished her conversation with Clint and sat down opposite you, eagerly picking up her knife and fork to dig into her meal. It only took her 30 seconds to realise you were just staring at her.
“What is it detka?”
“I just-.” You gave a big sigh and looked down at your intertwined hands in your lap, “I’m just going to miss you. A shit ton. I trust that you’ll come back to me, that’s not what I’m anxious about. It’s just, that interim in-between, yknow?”
Nat glanced down at her plate, “I know. That’s the worst part about going on these long missions. But you know that each day that you get through brings you closer to the day we will see each other again.”
You nodded your head before looking back up at Nat. “You always know how to make sense to my brain.”
Nat smiled back, “comes with the job darlin’”
“The job? The job?”
“Ohh yeah, all day, every day.”
Your face void of emotion and with total sarcasm, you replied, “I hate you. You’re fired.”
Having finished her meal, Nat stood and took your empty plate, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “you can’t fire me. You love me too much.”
You chuckled and smiled. You didn’t even have to confirm it for her, Nat knew how correct she was.
* * *
After you both finished cleaning up breakfast, you helped Nat pack her final things before helping her bring her bags to the jet that would take her to the safehouse.
Standing at the bottom of the ramp, Nat was holding both of your hands. You had your forehead touching hers, lost in the electric love that she gave you. “I’m going to miss you bigtime.”
“I know.”
“I know the mission is no contact but if at all you get any chance, please send a message.”
“I will.”
“And stay safe, for the love of god, come the fuck back to me, or so help me I will come over there an-.”
“Alright alright, detka. I get it. I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you. I promise I will.”
You let out a big breath, “I love you.” You kissed her with everything in you, stepping back to allow her to walk up the ramp. She turned around when she reached the top and gave a final wave, blowing a kiss to you. When the ramp started to move up, the first tear escaped your eye.
a/n> this was more of an intro, interesting stuff comes next!
chap 2
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balkanradfem · 2 years
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So, the plant lady got an abandoned house in a village away from town, a few years back, and I've been sometimes invited to help her clean and renovate it, which has been great.
At one point we were sitting together in a barn attic just filled with straw, and I mesmerized about how incredible it was that everything built around us was just nature; wooden beams, clay bricks, clay roof tiles, field straw, and it was soo cozy. She said 'yeah imagine if I installed a PVC window in here' and we both burst into laughter.
Since her abandoned house has no furniture yet, we developed a code of 'When you see a decent-looking piece of furniture on the street, call me'. She's great at renovating and from what I gather, never had to buy furniture in her life. And I aspire for that. So in this way we got her a sink, a mattress, some chairs, and then the other day, I found a very nice looking closet just next to the trash cans, so I sent her a picture. Later that day, she calls me asking to take her there so we can check if it's still around. We found it, however it was too large to haul by hand, and there were no parking spaces nearby. So she goes:
'Okay, lets get it close to the road, you stay and guard it, I'll get the car.'
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So she goes, and I just hang out there, with a closet, next to the street. Looking inconspicuous. Finally she arrives, stops in the middle of the street and we forced that closet into the car in 10 seconds, got into the car, and as soon as we started going, she yells thru laughter 'This is permaculture!!'
And I lost it again, because, yes, it is, she's right, but to say it after we were in the middle of doing gremlin thievery, it was just so good. The closet ended up needing a little maintenance, but it turned out so nice she just used it at her current house, promised when I get my own she will find me a closet.
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So, a day later, I find this, and I'm thinking 'this couch is usable' and call her. She gets there immediately and ignores the couch completely and instead starts selling me on this little cabinet. 'This is perfect for you, you can restore it, let me help you carry it, oh it's lightweight!' And I'm reluctant to hoard furniture when I have no space to put it, and no tools to restore it, but she's persistent and says she'll lend me the tools. Then she notices the couch and runs off to get her car. When she gets back, she's handing me a paint­-scraper, strips of sandpaper, brushes. So, I am left with no excuses. I helped her lift up the couch to the top of her car, she ensured me the cabinet would be a success, and off I went with my new piece of furniture.
So it was sitting in my room for a week while I watched 20 furniture restoration videos on youtube; here's what I found out: You scrape the paint with the paint-scraper first, then use sandpaper (I would have messed this up). If you want a warm glow, you pain the furniture with a red color, then tone with a dark stain, the red will come thru! People have tested coffee as a way to stain furniture lightly and reported it works, and it's pretty. It's also frowned upon to use a completely opaque color and lose the wood grain visual, wood is prettier than any color.
So, I am all ready! I decided to scrape it, color it with like a red watercolor (its all I have) and stain with coffee and call it a day. And then I started scraping and it's a  n i g h t m a r e.
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Scraping only one side took HOURS. I had to stop 3 times because my arms hurt! This isn't just color, it's like they glued a wallpaper or something to it, and it's only going off 1mm at the time regardless of how hard I press.
I am very grateful to have my first experience restoring a piece of furniture, I will finish it if it's the last thing I do, and I'm here to complain, possibly collect advice, because my plans do come from a place of not knowing anything. But hey, this might end up in my future home. I'm invested in it now. I could store my linen in it or something old timey like that. I'm looking forward to it.
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imasimpforshanks · 3 years
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hi! i love your stuff so very much!!
can i request the angst alphabet with zoro?
thank uuuuu ❤️
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Angst Alphabet - Roronoa Zoro
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a/n: hiya!!! thank y’all so much!!<3 hope you enjoy this 😌
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A-Accident (would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?)
He may not blame himself entirely if you were to die in an accident. But Zoro would think himself weak. How could he possibly become the words greatest swordsman if he can’t even protect his s/o.
B-Break up (How would they break up with you?)
Before breaking up with you Zoro would start to distance himself a little to try and make it easier on the both of you for when he does break up with you. Other than that, he is likely to just come right out and say exactly what he wants to say. He’s brutally honest and straightforward so he won’t try to sugar coat anything or beat around the bush.
C-Crying (how would they make you cry?)
Zoro does this horrible thing where he likes to overwork himself to the point of exhaustion. No matter how many times you tell him to stop and express your concerns for his health, he just doesn’t listen. It hurts seeing the man you love more than anything exhausting himself.
D-Death (how would they react to your death?)
Speaking of overworking, after your death he works himself harder than he ever has before. Day in, day out he’s training. He trains every possible minute to distract himself from your death and make himself stronger to ensure he never loses a loved one ever again.
E-Emotion (what is one emotion they would try to hide the most and how would they do it?)
Being openly vulnerable is something Zoro doesn’t like to do. He really only shows his vulnerable side with his s/o and even then, it took him a really long time to do it.
F-Fight (do you two ever fight? How big are the fights? What do you fight about? Etc.)
Very rarely do your fights get serious. Your fights are often just light-hearted teases and jokes towards one another. Where its always followed by laughter or eye rolls.
If your fight was to get serious, it would result in a lot of yelling at one another and with Zoros blunt personality, a lot of hurtful words (which he ALWAYS apologizes for in the end).
G-Guilt (what is the biggest thing they feel guilty about?)
The events of Sabaody weigh heavily on Zoro’s mind. He was the first one to get sent away by Kuma, so feels as though he failed not only his captain, but the whole crew as well. He wasn’t there to protect them, to help them. Instead, he was a complete failure. And, because of his weakness his captain had to fight and suffer alone.
H-Heartbreak (what would cause them pain in the relationship? How would they deal during a break-up?)
During a break-up Zoro does what he would in any other situation: workout. He keeps himself occupied by working out, and actually he drinks a little bit more than usual too. It could even get to the point where the rest of the crew feels as though they need to step in.
I-Injured (how would they react if you are badly injured?).
He turns dark. Basically, a demon in human form. Moves you from wherever you are so that you’re out of the way of more danger AND THEN HE TIES HIS BANDANA ROUND HIS HEAD BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SERIOUS.
J-Jealousy (what do they do if they are jealous?)
Its ridiculously obvious when this swordsman is jealous. He gets super grumpy and tries to intimidate the other person. He’ll stand right behind you and honestly, that’s intimidating enough on its own. But, if the other person doesn’t get the hint he’ll place his hand, ever so casually, on his swords.
K-Kill (would they kill for revenge?)
Ever since joining the Straw Hats, Zoro doesn’t kill others (its not something Luffy wants his nakama to do, so Zoro doesn’t do it). However, that mindset goes straight out the window depending on who he’s taking revenge for (i.e if it’s for his s/o).
Most of the time Zoro just leaves them wishing they were dead. (this seems to be a common thing amongst One Piece characters).
L-Loss (what is their greatest loss?)
I would actually say losing some of his pride. Zoro is a poud man, who refuses to lower his head to anyone. However, after receiving the message from Luffy to train and meet up again in two years, Zoro knew he had to lower his and beg Mihawk for his guidance. It was definitely a hit on his pride, but, honestly… He doesn’t regret that one bit – anything for his captain.
M-Mistake (what is the worst mistake they ever made with you?).
During one of the few big fights you guys have had things got really heated and the fight ended up getting so off topic. Insults and mean words were being thrown out left and right. Zoro got so caught up in it all that he said something that targeted one of your deepest insecurities. He knew he had screwed up so badly when you walked away without even saying anything.
N-Nightmares (how often do they have them? What are they about? How do they deal with it?).
He doesn’t often get nightmares, but when he does they tend to be about Sabaody and when the crew got separated from one another (or really any other incident where he was unable to help properly). After he wakes up, he gets straight out of bed and starts working out – determined to make sure nothing like that ever happens again.
O-Outrage (how and why would they get mad at you?)
Zoro doesn’t get mad at you for much, mainly if you pay any attention to that shitty cook, like seriously, he doesn’t understand why you have to give Sanji any attention when Zoro is literally your boyfriend….
P-Past (what has happened in your relationship that changed the way you saw each other?)
Even though you never found out exactly what happened on Thriller Bark (its something Zoro refuses to tell even you), it made you realize that you need to step up and not rely on Zoro so much because although he may act like it, he’s not actually indestructible.
Q-Quality (what is their most dangerous/toxic quality?).
(SORRY I FEEL LIKE I’M BEING VERY REPETITIVE HERE AH BUT YEAH…) He never allows himself to heal from an injury properly. He always starts training immediately despite Chopper’s best attempts to stop him.
R-Rejection (how would they react to you rejecting their confession (or the other way around)).
If you were to reject his confession, he’d probably try to justify it to himself by saying “yeah actually it’s probably better this way. I don’t need anymore distractions in life.” But, he would definitely be a little down in the dumps about it. He made himself vulnerable for this and it didn’t work the way he wanted.
S-Scars (battle or self-inflicted)
Zoro has many scars. The scar over his left eye was a result of his two years of training with Mihawk, though no one knows the exact cause of it – only that it appeared during those two years. Zoro also has a scar on his chest from his very first encounter with Mihawk. He may also have scars on his ankles from the time he tried to chop of his own legs on Little Garden (I can’t recall if these are actually scars or if they healed completely).
T-Trust (have they ever broken your trust?).
This answer is short and sweet: No. Never. Not even in his wildest of dreams. Loyalty is basically Zoro’s entire character. He would never violate your trust. If he did… well Zoro, wouldn’t be Zoro anymore. (only thing he’s done that comes close is keep you from finding out what really happened to him on Thriller Bark).
U-Urge (how badly do they want to see you after you guys separated?)
Honestly, he is probably one of the few who are able to cope with missing you the longest. He still wants to see you of course – your presence is reassuring, so he definitely prefers when you are around – but he can handle not seeing you for a while by focusing on the task at hand and just remembering that this separation isn’t permanent.
V-Vicious (what do they do when they lash out on you?).
Similar to what I’ve said before, he says some really harsh things. He has always been blunt and straightforward, but when he’s lashing out at you he tends to make things a little more personal.
W-Weak (what makes them feel weak how do they try to avoid it?).
Zoro hates losing. Not because he’s competitive or anything but because losing makes him feel weak. Whenever he loses he feels so far away from his goal. To make up for this he works out. He trains and trains and trains until he can no longer move. He will keep going until he never loses another fight.
X-X-ray (what do they hate and show it most obviously?)
Obviously, he shows his hate of Sanji very frequently. The two pirates are constantly arguing and at one anothers throat.
But another thing he hates is people getting in the way of his dream. He agreed to join Luffy so long as he didn’t get in the way of his dream – and if luffy were to get in the way Zoro made him promise to commit seppuku (although whether or not I think Zoro would actually make him do that anymore is a different thing that I could go on about for a while so imma stop there…).
Y-Yearn (what is one thing that they want but can’t have?)
Zoro wants to be the world’s greatest/strongest swordsman. It’s not currently a title he can have, however, day-by-day he is getting just that much closer.
Z-Zero (what do they do/say in your dying moments?)
I don’t think a lot is said or done by Zoro in your final moments. He probably whispers a few thank you’s and I’m sorry’s. He won’t mourn properly until he’s completely alone.
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jeanslongschlong · 3 years
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Can I request fluff alphabet for Reiner? In current canon? I think it’s interesting how much his character has changed
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i hope that this is okay! sorry it took me so long, i’ve been in a huge writing slump but i felt pretty inspired to write some good reiner fluff tonight <3 i also think it’s fascinating how much his character has changed throughout the story; he started out as one of my least favorite characters and now i can easily say that he’s a favorite of mine. enjoy!
warnings: none
word count: 1154
a-z fluff alphabet for current canon reiner braun
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
The way you make him feel alive. We all know that current canon Reiner is tired, oh so tired, but you make him feel like life is worth living. Being around you ignites a fire deep inside of him that pushes him to move forward and be better. You make him want to be a better man, and to make the right decisions for him and the people he cares about the most.
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Your smile. It lights up his world.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
He prefers to be the big spoon, but sometimes he needs some consoling too :,) He likes to hold you close to his chest as you fall asleep, pressing gentle kisses to the top of your head.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
I don’t really think that Reiner has a lot of time to take you on really nice dates, so this most likely will never happen, but I imagine that Reiner wants to take you on a nice picnic and watch the clouds with you. It’s so simple, but in his mind it’s one of the most intimate and relaxing things he could do with you.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Reiner has never been able to really express how he’s feeling before, so it takes him a while to open up to you. But, after a particularly bad fight between the two of you, he decides to make a conscious effort when it comes to communicating how he feels. He’s a bit nervous about it though, so please don’t judge him. He’d close himself off forever.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
Probably not. Current canon Reiner only has a year left so…he wouldn’t want to leave you to raise a child alone ☹ though if he weren’t the armored titan he would 100% want a kid or two with you.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
He can’t give you much, but he gives you LOTS of flowers.
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
You guys don’t have much time alone and he doesn’t seem to be a guy too keen on PDA, so I’d say he prefers to keep the handholding down to a minimum and in private. But, when he does hold your hand he likes to swipe his thumb over the back of your palm in calming circles.
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Internally he would freak, but externally he would just become all stoney and cold. He’s lost so many people that at this point he’s learned to hide what it does to him.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
I don’t think he really wastes time on pranking or joking with you. He wants to spend the little time he has left the best that he possibly can.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
In private, passionately and slowly. They make you see stars. He has his hands gripping your waist or tangled in your hair. Expect to be backed against a wall. When you’re in public, he may press a few gentle kisses to your temple in passing if he’s feeling particularly affectionate that day.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
I don’t think he’d be very good at expressing how much he loves you in words, so he probably just expresses it through affection behind closed doors. He loves to run his fingers through your hair and kiss all over your body. Basically just innocent body worship.
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
When you met. He was at the end of his rope and was almost entirely out of hope, but then you came sauntering into his life, bringing all things good with you. He thinks of the moment he first saw you often, and the way that he felt hope for the first time in years.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
Not being able to say a proper goodbye to you before he dies. You and he both know that he’s basically living on borrowed time, so your departures from each other are always very passionate and touchy haha
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
He snorts when he laughs LOL
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
My love, baby, angel
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
Laying around, cuddling, working through trauma together, praising you
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
When the Day Met the Night by Panic! At the Disco
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He tells you everything. There isn’t a single thing about him that you don’t know.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
Not very quickly. He knew what he wanted and went for it, and you were very eager to comply.
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
He tries his hardest to be compassionate and empathize. He just wants you to be happy.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
I don’t really think that he’s the type to show you off, but when you achieve something he definitely is the person cheering the loudest in the crowd.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
He would definitely fight for you. Every battle he fights he has you in the back of his mind, pushing him to fight even harder. He is all for you fighting, but it does make him nervous sometimes because he doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
I mean…pretty well for the most part. But you sometimes have to give him a gentle nudge in the right direction because he isn’t the most observant person in the world.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
I think one of the main things he wants to have done before dying is marry you. It would probably be a pretty rushed thing; like you’d be in the middle of some random conversation and he’d just pop the question. He’d probably try to get your marriage officiated in the same day, too.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
When you run your fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. It makes him super relaxed.
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thedistantdusk · 3 years
Text
Arcadia, Chapter 3
Thanks to everyone who followed along! Things are heating up with this chapter! Most of the referenced triggers from chapter 1 apply in this chapter specifically. Here's the link to chapter 2, if you're just seeing this now :)
Thanks again to @secretkeeper13, @accio-broom, @remedialpotions, @jamezbot, @jenoramaca, @not-steve42, @ginisbetterthanfirewhiskey... god, I'm forgetting people, and I'm sorry! But you're all amazing <3
___________________________
D A Y + T H R E E
As fate would have it, Ginny wakes before 0-700.
Not that she sleeps.
Nightmares, the likes of which she hasn’t experienced in years, torment her throughout the night. They leave her scared. Miserable. Guilty. Around 3 AM, she finally reaches for her Dreamless Sleep potion with shaking hands. For more reasons than one, she’s pleased that Harry’s slept on the couch.
She knows now just how stupid this entire mission truly was. The longer she analyzes it, the more she accepts that her bloody pride got her here in the first place. A chance for a promotion, however small, gave her false confidence in her ability to disregard a decade of sexual tension, all while trapped in close quarters with the person she wants the most.
She hopes Harry makes himself sparse today, though she knows that sounds cruel. But the longer they spend together, the clearer it becomes they’re on the cusp of something… and not something that would look good on a performance review. He’s been kind and understanding so far, even when she’s fucked things up. She just hopes she can ignore the most human parts of herself until they’ve dealt with this.
So at half-past 8, Ginny — Jenny — emerges from the house in a bright floral sundress and nude pumps. Were it not for the secret weapon clutched in her right fist, she might have fit in quite well... but Jenny has no intention of fitting in. Not anymore. In three confident strides, she marches across the front lawn, bends down, and spears the prongs of a lurid pink flamingo into the grass.
Yes.
She grins and takes in her work. How ghastly against the backdrop of earth tones! How repugnant!
Ginny steals quick glimpses over each shoulder, only to be met with the eerie, blanketed silence that’s defined Arcadia since their arrival. No activity at all. Which means she’ll have no issue with the next bit…
She strides to the mailbox at the end of their driveway and gives it a sharp kick. The post slides out of alignment, leaving it askew. Perfect. She returns to the house with a bounce in her step. Living with the twins taught her a thing or two about how to infuriate complete strangers.
She just hopes it’ll be enough.
___________________________
As luck would have it, it is enough. Her efforts receive reward more quickly than she thought— more quickly than she’s been conditioned to expect.
Scarcely an hour passes before she finds the warning she needs. And to be honest, it could’ve been there sooner; she just figured she’d give it that long before she checked.
Still, it’s not even 10 AM when she opens the door and sees it on their welcome mat: a folded paper with Pee-tri scrolled on the front. She can’t help but admire the sheer cheek as she unfolds it; this is the closest they’ll get to a public call-out for the way Harry insists on correcting everyone’s pronunciation. The message inside doesn’t surprise her, either.
Be like the others before dark. Or else.
Ginny glimpses out at the lawn, just to confirm— and yes. Sure enough. Just as she’d suspected, the flamingo's gone. The mailbox is straight. Everything’s back to normal.
She kicks the door closed with a smirk and wonders if they’re aware of how easily they’ve exposed themselves. How—
“What’ve you got there?” Harry calls from the sofa in the living room. He looks up from his laptop with bleary, dark-rimmed eyes. A wave of guilt washes through her; that sofa clearly didn’t get more comfortable overnight. Not that he would’ve accepted the alternative.
“Erm. A letter.” She waves in front of her and walks into the living room. “I’ve done a great job annoying them!”
He offers a gentle smile. “Any chance you’ll let me know who this ‘them’ is that you’re so worried about?”
Ginny rolls her eyes and settles on the other end of the couch. “You know I can’t—”
“Talk about your work,” Harry finishes, turning back to his computer. “Right.”
“Mm. Not exactly that I can’t… talk about my work,” she ventures, putting her feet up on the white ottoman. “More like I can’t give information until it’s essential knowledge for all parties involved. Based on criteria that I also can’t share.”
“Sounds like a fun job,” Harry deadpans, still looking at the computer. “But anyway, if I were to suggest something like… I don’t know…” He casually tilts the screen in her direction. “The fact that Oliver Skinner definitely has a criminal record, and maybe that’s worth looking into. You couldn’t confirm or deny that?”
Ginny just shrugs. “That’s correct. I can neither confirm nor deny.”
His theory is wrong, of course. Dead wrong.
They wouldn’t have sent an Unspeakable and an Auror into the country if this were a simple Muggle murderer. Harry would be able to suss this out, she reckons, if he had more sleep. Poor bloke.
He groans and cracks his back. “I’m starting to understand why King’s always so frustrated.”
“Probably because he has to deal with you all the time,” Ginny quips, reaching for a magazine on the floor. Ugh. Of course, it’s only the TV guide, Radio Times. They don’t even have a TV, but it came with the Daily Mail on Sunday.
Harry reaches for a glass of water on the coffee table. “Fine,” he relents, in between sips. “I’ll stay in my lane. But if I get bored, I’ll get tetchy.” He gestures to the computer. “And since they’ve given us this laptop, I’ve had time to do a bit of—”
“They’ve given me a laptop,” Ginny corrects, arching a brow. “As you’re well aware, Auror Potter, that is technically the property of the DoM.” She returns to the guide with a shrug. “I just don’t care if you use it, mostly because I don’t expect you’ll be looking up tits all day.”
He chokes on his water; Ginny just laughs and turns the page. Ooh, lovely! Eurovision looks particularly flamboyant this year…
“You’re absolutely right,” Harry says, once he recovers. “I’d never look up tits on government property!” He looks affronted as he hands over the laptop, but she knows he’s not done... not when he’s set that up so perfectly. Annnnd sure enough…
“You of all people should know I'm an arse-man, Ginny.”
Now it’s her turn for an unattractive snort as he winks over his shoulder and marches upstairs.
When he’s gone, Ginny rolls her eyes and opens her laptop. He’s an incredible liar on the arse-man front, but it was a good joke. A simple joke…. one that didn’t deserve looking into.
It’s just unfortunate that can’t stop these stupid fucking butterflies from erupting in her stomach like she’s ten years old again.
___________________________
He launches into the air again, the gardens of his neighbors spanning out in front of him. Each perfectly manicured. Each disturbing in its performative precision. None of this is real; none of this is life.
He pulled out the trampoline after dinner, when Ginny okayed it. He’s not used to that— checking before he does things. This whole exercise has been a great reminder that his teamwork skills are rusty, especially when he’s in a subordinate role. Ron left after their first year to work in the magic shop instead, which only made sense after… yeah. Harry draws a deep breath and jumps again. Ron and Hermione haven’t been problem-solving in his head for ages. There’s been no one to share the burden of choices or—
“OI!” Oliver’s voice thunders across the garden.
Harry smiles and takes another huge leap into the air. Just in time…
He rips open the fence door and stomps over, hands balled into fists. Harry’s never seen anyone look quite so furious while dressed in cashmere. And standing beside a trampoline.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Oliver hisses, eyes narrowed to slits. “Are you trying to make enemies, Henry? Is this entire estate a bloody joke to you?”
“Of course not!” Harry lands on his bum before he jumps up again. “This is very serious!”
“Oliver!” Sharon wails, hurrying over. “Oliver. Please! This really—”
“Keep your nose where it belongs, woman,” Oliver snarls, looking at her like she’s scum on his shoe. “No one wants your opinion!”
Sharon flinches… and this, more than anything else, gets Harry’s back up. “No need to take it out on her!” he snaps, climbing down from the trampoline. “Talk to me if you’ve got a problem, Ollie. Why not—”
But just as Harry’s feet touch the grass, something very weird happens: A dull buzzing fills his ears. Sharon and Oliver hear it too, but unlike Harry, they aren’t looking around in bewildered confusion. In a flash, the rage on Oliver’s face transforms into something much different: fear. And as the pressure grows, Harry can only watch as Oliver grabs Sharon’s hand, yanking her from the garden, when—
An unmistakable sound replaces the buzzing. A large piece of glass from somewhere in the front of the house shatters on the pavement. And with that, the buzzing stops.
Birds chirp again. Someone laughs in the distance. Harry jabs a finger in his ear, trying to clear it, but it seems Oliver’s returned to his furious state. He lunges towards Harry, a vein ticking in his neck, his hands outstretched as if to push him over— but Harry doesn’t have time for this. He’s already running around him, bolting towards the source of the sound, his hand inching for his pocket…
Because whatever they’ve got going on isn’t related to Oliver, is it? No… definitely not. That buzzing was too creepy to be muggle. Harry hadn’t really been convinced of the Oliver theory in the first place, even if the wanker has a criminal record for drunk driving. He mostly suggested it to Ginny to see if she’d give him any information.
Harry spots the broken glass the second he reaches the pavement. The lamppost right outside their house has shattered, light bulb and all. Bits of glass sparkle on the street, but the lamppost is at least 10 feet high. Harry scans around for signs of a ladder, or some form of a projectile… any method someone might’ve used to— oh! A baseball rolls around in one of the open garages across the street. He’s about to march over and collect it when his conscience stops him.
Because that’s the definition of circumstantial evidence, isn’t it? Harry sighs, rubbing his forehead. Snatching the baseball while working alone is one thing, but it’s not worth risking Ginny’s job. Especially because he reckons these thoroughly unmemorable homes are each equipped with monitoring systems. At absolute best, that would be… awkward to explain to the muggle police, especially without an obvious connection between the ball and the shattered lamppost...
Harry’s just about to turn back inside and write it off a freak occurrence when—
Shit.
His breath freezes in his throat.
What the...
He blinks a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it, but no...
There’s no weird buzzing this time… but something else is happening instead. The grass on the far side of their yard is bulging and curling, right in front of his eyes. The soil creaks as this… this mass — a huge sphere of some sort — passes through; bits of dirt fly into the air before settling back.
Harry’s veins turn to ice, his stomach churning. Work has introduced him to new, vile varieties of ghouls and nasties. He’s been bitten by a leprechaun. Stalked by a vampire. He’s encountered every disturbing otherworldly menace that one could imagine.
But he’s never seen anything like this.
His only solace is that it’s headed towards Mike’s empty house… this massive, rolling boulder that travels beneath the soil. ‘Boulder’ isn’t exactly the right term, though; he’s never seen a boulder move with a slinking, predatory grace. He’s never gotten gooseflesh from a rock, no matter how large.
And try as he might, he can only stand there, wide-eyed, his heart racing. Because now he knows for sure what Ginny only alluded to before: whatever they’re chasing isn’t human.
And it’s aware of them.
___________________________
The door creaks open less than five minutes after the glass shatters, but Ginny’s prepared.
She’s standing in the alcove just off the entryway, wand in one hand, fire poker in the other. It’s probably not the best strategy she’s ever had— but she reckons that if a Muggle were to catch sight of an altercation, it would be an easy memory supplantation. Wands and fire pokers don’t look that dissimilar, and—
“Ginny?” Harry calls. Directly into her ear.
Shit! She jumps into the air, the poker clattering to the ground.
“When did you learn to move like a cat?” she demands, turning to face him. “You nearly—”
“We need to talk,” he says brusquely. It’s only then that she takes in his wide, haunted eyes. His white pallor. The way he hasn’t even commented on the ridiculousness of her fire poker.
Oh.
He’s scared.
Scared in a way she hasn’t seen him in ages. Maybe ever. Which means he heard…? Shit. She’d might as well ask.
“What do you erm…” She toys with her wand handle. “Want to talk about?”
Harry heaves a tired sigh. “I’m only going to ask you this once,” he says flatly, rubbing his hand over his forehead. Then he blinks up at her, his eyes pulsing and stern. “What the fuck was that?”
“The… shattered lamppost?” she hedges. “I’ve no idea. I just—”
Apparently, that was the wrong response.
Harry groans. “You know damn well I don’t mean the bloody lamppost!” he snarls. “I mean that… that thing! First the weird buzzing, then whatever moved through the grass! It was like some creepy worm, or—”
“—not a worm,” she amends, staring at her cuticles.
This, too, was the wrong reply; she’s never seen him go from bewildered to enraged quite so fast.
Harry lets out a furious roar and kicks at an empty box. “This is why Unspeakables are so fucking annoying!” he shouts, tossing his hands in the air. “You never fucking say anything — even if it might help someone!”
Pfft! He can do better than that...
“Not sure what you expected,” she deadpans. “Would it help if I were a Speakable instead?”
Harry rolls his eyes and throws himself on the couch. Ginny just leans against the door… and waits. She can’t say she blames him for being angry. It’s probably made him feel vulnerable in ways he hasn’t in ages.
“The least you can bloody do,” Harry says, cutting into her thoughts, “is to let me know how to kill it.” He glimpses up at her, his chest still heaving. “Because if anything happened to you….” His hand curls around his wand, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “We both know I’d never forgive myself.”
Fuck.
Her heart clenches; as embarrassing as it is, tears sting the backs of her eyes. She wasn’t expecting that… but it makes perfect sense. He’s not angry because he’s vulnerable; he’s angry because he doesn’t know how to protect her.
Because he’s Harry.
Her Harry.
And try as she might, she can’t deny that. He’s hers… even though now he’s broken and angry and scared and alone. Which is probably why she loves the fucking fuck out of him.
No.
She stops herself, squeezing her eyes shut. Mission. Mission. They’re on a mission.
Right. She clears her throat and steps forward, two papers clutched in her hand.
“What’s that?” Harry grumbles as she hands them over. He scans the pages, brow furrowing. “Sugar… engine oil. Red Dye 40. What am I supposed to do with—?”
Ginny smiles and tries to make this easy. “It’s the report from the necklace. The thing that was on Mike’s medallion… it’s rubbish. Not blood, not some ghost slime. It’s just a weird mixture of types of rubbish.”
She should’ve figured he wouldn’t find this significant.
“What a brilliant scientific discovery.” Harry tosses the paper to the side. “Hermione would be thrilled.”
Ginny gnaws at her cheek, choosing her words carefully… but if he’s already seen it, if he’s already heard it, surely there’s no harm...
Harry rises to his feet and takes a step closer until he’s towering over her, all warm and brooding. They aren’t touching… not exactly. He’s just hovering close enough to give her strength, whether he knows it or not. When she finally gets the nerve to look up at him, his green eyes are swirling with more pain than rage. Truth be told, she prefers the rage. “I deserve to know,” he says thickly, like he’s suppressing something in his throat, “what the fuck is going on.”
Ginny breaks their eye contact. Some of this she hasn’t even shared with Attica yet. She’s violating about a million protocols by telling Harry first, but if they’re together on a mission…
“It’s… not what we thought. Not what I thought,” she admits softly, after a moment. “We came out here under the assumption of chasing something from the Thought Chamber. Something that erm… may have escaped. During a routine experiment.”
He’s not impressed, though. “Yeah,” he says, arching a brow. “I gathered all of that from your intro with the camera, thanks. Do you ever plan on telling me anything new?” He jerks his chin towards the window. “Because you’ve sure as hell never mentioned Evil Grass Monster Experiment #6, and that may have been helpful to fucking know before I saw it.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake!
His attitude is more infuriating than his actual words, but she lacks the patience for dealing with either. The bloody nerve, to act all impatient with information that’s kept secret for a reason...
“I don’t have to tell you shit, actually,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. “And in case you’re unaware, I can protect myself.”
Harry pulls back with a laugh, but this one is cruel. Dark. The sort she’s never heard from him before. “Makes sense,” he says with a fake grin. Then he taps her on the nose. “Because when that thing outside inevitably kills someone else, we all know how well you’ll manage the guilt.”
Ouch.
She reels back, stung. He’s got to know that’s a low blow. Younger Ginny would have Bat Bogeyed him into oblivion, but she’s better now. She’s changed.
At least that’s what she tells herself as she glares at him, her hands fisted so tightly they turn white. “Say what you mean,” she manages several moments later, when rage isn’t clawing at her chest. “If you’d like to rehash our breakup, Auror Potter, I’m all ears!” She gives her best impression of an icy smirk. “This isn’t exactly professional… but then again, when have you ever been?”
Harry looks like he’s going to respond, but a loud vibration starts in his back pocket. “Fuck!” Now it’s his turn to leap into the air before he realizes it’s just his wand. And really, she’s tempted to laugh— but the look on his face helps her put the pieces together.
Because if his wand’s vibrating, that means it’s an emergency; only department heads can summon their employees like that. They’re the only ones with access to that sort of technology, not that she’s really interested either way.
“It’s King,” he mutters. She’s about to get on him for stating the obvious, but when he peers at her again, his face is filled with such timid yearning that she can only see the 11-year-old boy on the train platform. “Can I…erm. Use your mobile?”
Fine. Ginny nods towards the bedroom, her head still spinning. She’s still a bit angry with him, but he’s so fucking broken. They both are. And besides, they’ve got bigger problems. What could possibly have King so worried that he’d call Harry from a mission? The man is unflappable.
Harry returns a minute later, his face stony, jaw set. In another life, she might’ve seen the bulge in his pocket and asked if that’s just her mobile, or if he’s happy to see her.
Instead, she tucks her hair behind her ears like the seasoned professional she is. “There’s no reception inside,” she points out. “I’ve had luck calling Attica from up the street, right at the corner. Just watch out for…”
Harry smirks. “Grass monsters?”
Ginny draws a breath to consider her options. She could keep him in the dark forever, but isn’t that the whole point of this assignment? To learn? It’s time for the truth, she reckons...
“It’s erm. It’s called a tulpa, actually.”
His eyes light up at this. “A tulpa?”
Ginny shifts her weight and searches for the right words. “It’s a… it’s sort of like an evil imaginary friend, created by a group of people to do their bidding,” she explains, reaching for the discarded papers. “They come from the material of whatever’s underground. I’ve only heard of creatures made from clay or water, but since this village was built on a rubbish tip”— she flicks the papers with her fingers— “that’s our guy!”
She can almost see the gears spinning in Harry’s head as he studies the far wall. “So…” he says slowly, still peering off, “it’s basically an evil dump monster, made of rubbish, that can murder people.”
A laugh slips past her lips. It sounds a bit dumb when he puts it that way. She clears her throat and continues. “I was wrong because it’s not something that’s escaped, more like something that’s—”
“Formed,” Harry finishes quickly. For the first time all week, he sounds intrigued. Like he’s happy to be here. “So… they’ve made it to keep order, then?”
“It would seem so.” She shrugs. “I… honestly don’t know. But between the weird buzzing and the rubbish, it’s the closest match we’ve got. According to the system database, anyway.”
There’s another pause as Harry mulls this over. “So, how do we get rid of it, then?”
How fucked up is it that her heart warms at the way he says ‘we’?
Ginny brushes that aside. “Considering the mask in Gogolak’s house and the way they’ve made a point to tell us he’s in charge, I’d say he’s the one we need to get rid of.”
Harry crosses his arms over his chest but doesn’t object.
“Or at least… knock him totally unconscious,” she adds, swallowing; Gogolak’s a wanker, but she’d rather not kill him, either. “Beyond just being asleep. Because he sleeps at night, but the tulpa’s still here, which means he needs to be down for the count. Comatose, even.”
Harry’s wand buzzes again. Ah, shit; in all the hubbub, she’d forgotten about that.
Concern floods Harry’s face. “Give me five minutes.” He blinks. “Ok?”
She waves towards the door. “Duty calls.”
He gives her a weak smile and turns away; she begins the trek upstairs to send Attica an email update.
“Ginny?”
She stops to look down at him. Harry’s paused, halfway out the door. “Thank you,” he says softly, meeting her eyes. “And… I’m sorry. For everything. Ok? I’ll always, erm…”
But she can’t right now. She actually fucking can’t.
“Later,” she whispers, nearly begging. “Please. Let’s do this later.”
Because of course she loves him.
She’s always fucking loved him, even though that’s changed forms. It’s shifted. It’s evolved. He feels the same way… she knows he’s bloody feels the same way. She just doesn’t have the resources to deal with whatever this fuck is reigniting, right in front of her eyes, as the tulpa dances in the back of her head.
Luckily, he understands. Harry just swallows again, nods at her, and heads out into the night.
___________________________
As it would turn out, he was wrong about the identity of the summoner.
“Great news!” Hermione announces on the other end of the mobile. “MLE found Yaxley. He was hiding in a cave in Romania, just like you said.”
Harry snorts; he wishes that gave him more pride. “Well, if you’d listened to me months ago, then—”
“The important part is that we have him,” Hermione says, cutting across. “We need you back ASAP to prep for witness questioning. You’ll take the stand, of course. The trial’s set to start next week!”
He can practically hear her bouncing with excitement. Very little brings her more joy than trials of former Death Eaters.
“Erm… about that.” Harry rubs the back of his neck. “We’re actually right on the cusp of something here. I’m gonna need a couple more days to wrap things up.”
“Really?” Hermione sounds surprised. “Kingsley and Robards said you’d be pleased. Said you found this mission as useless as they did.”
Fuck, he was such an arse.
“Well, things… changed,” he offers lamely. “It’s going really well. This mission is so important to her. I’d just hate to leave at the last minute.”
“Ohhh?” Hermione draws out the word in a way that suggests she finds herself quite clever. Even before she asks, he knows what she’s on about. “How’s it going with Ginny, then?”
Harry rolls his eyes. Her coy prodding is obvious, even over the phone.
“As I already said, it’s going well,” he replies flatly. “We’re a great team. Always have been.”
But she can’t let him have that one, can she?
“Well… not always,” Hermione allows. “After Percy—”
Harry groans. For fuck’s sake, what’s her obsession with stating the obvious? “Yeah, well,” he retorts, “I’d like to know who you think did well after that, especially since…”
He trails off with a sigh.
Especially since what, exactly?
He toys with the fraying ends of his hoodie string.
Especially since Ginny was the last to speak with Percy? That she still carries the weight of the guilt for what she said that night? That she’s never admitted it, but that he suspects her choice to become an Unspeakable was influenced by the things she wishes she could un-say?
Harry makes a face. That’s corny as fuck, isn’t it? What a thing to pull from his arse...
Hermione interrupts his thoughts for a bit of bragging. “Well, Ron and I have done just fine.”
He can almost imagine her staring at her engagement ring in dreamy affection. The mental image makes his reply sound more bitter than he intends.
“Well,” Harry snaps, “Ron wasn’t the last person to speak with Percy. So I’m not sure how you could compare the two, really.”
Shit.
The silence on the other end tells him he needs to apologize, even if it’s true. Fortunately, Hermione gives him an easy out. “Anyway.” She clears her throat. “I’ll give you until tomorrow night, but we really need you the following day. If you haven’t settled this, we’re swapping you out. Got it?”
Harry sighs. He’s exhausted, but this couldn’t possibly take much longer. Ginny’s more or less got the proof she needs now. They just need to confront Gogolak, knock him out, and—
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
Harry cranes his neck towards the source of the noise. Huh… weird. Far up the street, flashing lights tip him off. That’s definitely Oliver’s Audi, the one parked in the driveway directly beside theirs. It’s in utopia blue with a metallic finish, a detail Oliver probably mentioned at least fifty times the other night. Then, while Sharon and Ginny were out walking the dog, Oliver began a mind-numbing lecture on the car’s exact miles per liter. Harry was a bit drunk, which is probably why he interrupted to ask a much more important maths question: How many blow jobs per week is too many, exactly?
Even from a distance, Harry can tell that Oliver’s nearly the same shade of murderous red now; he storms from the house and turns off the alarm with his key fob. But then he pauses, glancing around like something’s spooked him. He must decide it’s not that significant, though, because he huffs back inside soon enough. Fucking wanker...
“....Harry?”
“Sorry!” Harry shakes his head. “Yeah, sorry, that works. See you then, Hermione.”
“Can’t wait!” she trills. He doesn’t need to see her face to know she’s smug and grinning.
___________________________
Two minutes after Harry leaves, Ginny feels it again: that same sensation she experienced while walking Captain Bone.
She’s sitting at her laptop when it starts… this deeply unsettling shift. It stands the hair up on the back of her neck. She rushes to the window on instinct, but just like before, everything outside looks the same. There’s no “moving grass monster,” as Harry called it. Not yet, at least.
Still, she can’t deny it’s growing louder. Getting stronger. And now that she’s felt it for a bit longer, she can put more words to it. It’s like she’s plummeting through the absence of sound; like all the wind’s been sucked from the air. It’s a building pressure, a mounting unease, and before she knows it, her whole body starts to shake.
Then two things happen in quick succession: that weird feeling stops, and a car alarm begins to blare in the distance.
Weird.
She shudders. This whole thing is so fucking weird. Weird is her job, and this place is still Very Fucking Weird. Seriously, who enjoys living here? She’s reaching for her wand, just in case, when the front door slams open.
In retrospect, it’s a blessing she knows Harry as well as she does… because she can tell that those heavy, clobbering footsteps don’t belong to him. She knows he’s not the one drawing deep, ragged breaths as he marches up the stairs.
She hides around the corner of the bedroom, her heart racing, and goes through a mental list of spells she might use. Shield charms. Enchantments. The buzzing’s stopped, so this probably isn’t the tulpa… but who else would be here? Gogolak? It sounds more human than—
“Jenny?” a deep, soothing voice asks. “Are you in here?”
Her breath freezes in her throat. She’s only heard that voice once before… but it’s so similar to her former life that she identifies it at once.
“Mike?” A wave of relief washes through her. She shoves her wand into her dress as she comes around the corner. Sure enough, there he is, in the flesh. Mike Snodgrass. A man she presumed dead days ago.
“Hi!” Mike pants. He cracks a smile. “I’d offer to shake your hand, but.” He winces, wiping a palm on his ripped khakis. “Been hiding!” Fuck. His whole outfit (yellow Polo, khakis) is the same he wore days ago to unload their boxes, except now it’s filthy. Stained. Like he’s been living beneath cars and inside drains. He’s just missing his Saint Julian medallion, which she’s sent to the Ministry.
Ginny feels sick. She wrote him off as dead so carelessly...
“I’ve been trying to take it down,” he adds earnestly, peering at her. His cheeks are caked in something red and grimy, the same stuff she stuffed into her bra. He’s been tailing the tulpa, she realizes, her stomach plummeting…
Except he’s got no clue what he’s doing.
“I was about to leave the development, to just run away, but that’s when I figured out it was coming for you two!” He shudders, closing his eyes. It feels like he’s been waiting a long, long time to say this. “And I’ve been aimless without Jess in the first place. So what was the point in leaving, really, if I could save…?”
He trails off, clearing his throat; when he looks up at her again, there’s a flash of annoyance in his eyes. “I’ve been leaving clues, though! Why didn’t you listen?”
“Clues?” Ginny sounds like she’s a million miles away.
Mike’s nearly pleading now. “You had to go and kick the mailbox and stick the flamingo in the grass, didn’t you?” He raises his pointer finger. “And even though I left you a note, you had to make it even worse! It only attacks when the sun goes down, see.”
“You… you left the note?” she whispers. She was so certain that it was from Gogolak...
But Mike proceeds in such a rush it’s clear he hasn’t heard her. “It was about to get Henry by the trampoline, so I threw the baseball as a diversion. I broke the lamppost, too— which worked. For a second,” he adds hastily, glancing over his shoulder.
“How did you also set off the car alarm— oh.” Her head’s still spinning. “Buddy system. Right.”
Mike dangles a keyfob. “Covenant rules. Stole the spare off Jane.” He glances into the hall again before whipping back to face her. “It’ll need a sacrifice tonight, though,” he adds grimly. “And every night, until you all have perfect behavior. It was coming for you earlier, see. We aren’t meant to be outdoors after dark without a permit for dog-walking, so.” He shrugs. “If there’s an unapproved disruption like a car alarm, it knows just where to hunt.”
It’s then that the final pieces of this dreadful puzzle slide together in her brain. “Captain Bone,” Ginny breathes; she swears a feather could knock her over. “He was the first since we arrived. Punishment for us sticking out.”
“I couldn’t save him,” Mike laments. “It came up and snatched him. So I threw in my medallion, right after his collar, just to make them think I was already gone.”
“That’s… that was brilliant,” she admits, biting her lip. “Thank you. You didn’t have—”
“Nah,” he says firmly. “I did. For starters, you remind me so much of…” He stops mid-sentence, an odd expression on his face.
For a second, she thinks he’s being sentimental, but then she feels it too.
Shit.
The hairs on her arm stand up. It’s back… that weird way she felt before. Like the air’s sucked from the room. That creeping, clawing silence. This time, though, it only gets louder, louder, louder, until she’s throwing her hands over her ears, all hope of self-defense forgotten.
But Mike knows what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. She doesn’t have the chance to object or get her wand before he’s ripping open the closet door and throwing her inside. Ginny opens her mouth in a startled cry, but it’s like she’s screaming underwater, the sound distant and distorted. Mike slams the door closed with her inside and stomps to the center of the room— but now the thundering, roaring wind is causing her physical pain… it’s so loud now that it reverberates in her chest, so loud that her hands shake as she reaches for her wand at long last, but fuck fuck fuck, it’s too late…
It’s too fucking late.
Because Mike’s made a choice. One he can’t take back. He just stands in the middle of the room, puffing out his chest, offering himself as the proud sacrifice, even as the noise grows so loud that Ginny screams her throat raw.
She feels it enter the bedroom, this looming, shifting mass— but by then, she’s certain her ears are bleeding, her eardrums bursting. Her whole body rattles and shakes as she peers through the slats in the closet door, but she’s frozen. Stuck. Miserable. She couldn’t cast a spell if she tried… even as the tulpa oozes into the room, lunges itself back, and swallows Mike with a sickening squelch.
Even though the slats of the door, Ginny’s sprayed with blood. Covered. And she’s dizzy now… so dizzy. A drop of blood trickles into her eye; she reaches up to wipe it from her face, and it’s only then that she hears her own screams again. They reverberate through the small space, anguished and pleading, so loud that she’s certain someone up the street could hear, but she doesn’t care. She doesn’t fucking care. She just screams over and over and over, her nails clawing at the walls, until the world slips away into darkness.
___________________________
Blood.
It’s the first thing he smells as he charges up the steps. His chest squeezes, his eyes water, his head pounds over and over again with one word: No.
No. No. No.
Not Ginny. It can’t be.
But almost as soon as he smells the blood, he hears her screaming, and yes! His heart soars. Screaming is good; screaming means she’s alive and breathing and—
Fuck.
His dinner rises in his throat as he steps into the bedroom. He smelled the blood from the steps, he hadn’t expected… this much. It always takes him aback, exactly how much blood is in one human body, and he’s certainly never seen it sprayed, all over the floor… covering the walls. Covering the closet, even, where Ginny’s still screaming.
He flings open the door, thinking he’s prepared for what he might see. Somehow, though, none of that measures up. Because he’s dealt with tears in his line of work… but he’s never, ever seen her so broken. His chest clenches when he takes her in. Her perfect suburban dress — the yellow floral one, the one he liked so much— is now red and grimy, caked in blood, as Ginny rocks back and forth on the floor, sobs wracking her body.
Blood’s covering her face, too, and her arms. Dried trails of it have crusted around her eyes, like she’s fallen asleep wiping them away… or perhaps lost consciousness. The thought is too terrible to bear. He kicks the door open completely and brings her into his arms in one fell swoop.
She melts against him, her voice raw and broken. “H-Harry!” she manages. “P-please! I need-I need!” She begins to shake, pressing her face to his chest.
“A shower,” he says firmly, stepping into the en-suite. “You… you just need a shower. Ok? And maybe some calming draught, I’ve got some in my luggage, and—”
“No!” she cries, shaking her head. Her eyes are wide and filled with horror. “Don’t… don’t leave. Don’t leave me, Harry, please!”
“I… ok,” he allows, carrying her to his luggage to retrieve the bottle. She clings to his neck as he reaches for it, but she weighs next to nothing. Fuck, she’s so thin… he’d just been too busy eyeing her up to realize exactly how thin. What a complete wanker.
It’s not difficult to unzip the suitcase with one hand and pass her the bottle. “Take this,” he urges, thrusting it into her hands. “Please, Ginny. You’ll feel—”
She’s already downed it before he gets to the end of the sentence. She tips her head back, drawing air into her lungs. “Thanks.” Her voice is still hoarse. Ragged.
“Shower, then,” he murmurs, walking her into the bathroom. He feels her start to relax against him, her body growing looser, as he opens the curtain and turns on the tap.
“Thanks,” she whispers again, her head tucked beneath his chin. His fingers itch with restraint; he’d do anything, he thinks, to hold her against him. To press a kiss to her temple. To tell her he loves her and that she’s beautiful and perfect and he’s sorry, so sorry, that any of this happened and—
She peers up at him, her eyes more focused now, less wide-eyed and horror-struck. “Would you stay here?” she asks, biting her lip. “While I shower? Just so I’m not—”
“‘Course.” Harry swallows, putting her on her feet. She lands with unintentional grace, one foot after the next.
“And can you… erm.” She turns her back to him, lifting her hair above her zipper. His hands shake as he reaches for the clasp. He knows the exact shape of her back as he slides it down, over the middle bump of her white bra strap. He nearly unstraps that for her, too, before he catches himself. It reeks of intimacy, doesn’t it? All of this…
His eyes linger on the soft swell of her bum before he turns around, self-disgust hammering in his throat.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” he adds feebly. He balls his hands into fists as her dress hits the floor… followed by her bra. And her knickers.
“Not your fault,” she croaks, stepping into the shower. He smiles, his glasses fogging up as he moves to sit on the closed toilet seat. Even covered in blood and traumatized, she can't bring herself to blame him.
She finishes several minutes later.
“Erm… towel?” She shuts the water off. “Could you?”
“Sure,” he soothes, thrusting one through the curtain. “D’you want me to leave, or…?”
Ginny manages a weak snort. “Nah. Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
He chuckles at the door as he turns around again. She’s right, of course; he knows every bloody inch of her… but it’s not quite the same now.
There’s a tap on his shoulder. He whips around to face her. Admittedly, she looks… better. The blood’s gone. Her eyes are still red-rimmed from sobbing, but she’s looking a bit less like a woman who witnessed a death. Which reminds him…
“Erm. Give me a second to get it all cleaned up?”
Ginny shudders and settles on the toilet seat; he immediately kicks himself for asking. “Yeah,” she says a moment later. “Just… come get me, ok? When you’re done?”
He nods.
___________________________
It can’t be later than 10 PM when he finally carries her to the bed, still wrapped in a towel.
He’s exhausted from the nights on the sofa, but he knows she’s worse off. He’s cleaned the bedroom fairly well, he thinks, considering. There’s a rust-colored stain above the closet that he reckons won’t go anywhere anytime soon. He just hopes she doesn’t see it.
He rests her on the duvet surface, fully prepared to head downstairs for the night— but the pleading look on her face informs him he’s got other plans, instead. So without sharing a single word, he spreads his palms, lies beside her, and waits.
It comes eventually, as he knew it would. One person can’t deal with all that, see all that, without eventually cracking. And as a fellow fucked-up individual, he would know.
It starts as simple tears, ones that he wipes away. It progresses into sobs… full-body sobs. The sort he heard coming up the stairs. He’s surprised she’s got any left, but Ginny’s always been the sort to keep him on his toes. And just as her water-dark hair starts to dry and sprout red tendrils, he faces the thing he expected least of all: a kiss.
She starts softly. Slowly. Her lips so tender and soft that he forgets everything. She moans against his mouth, her whole body leaning into it; he’s instantly reminded of how much he’s fucking missed her. How lonely he’s been. How could he have forgotten the tiny mewl she makes in the back of her throat as her tongue parts his lips? He must’ve blocked it out, he realizes, as she begins to slide her body against him, panting, as she tips her head back. His lips trail down her neck, nibbling and biting, as she grips his arms and hair and bum. Because if he’d remembered all of these little details, he’d have gone mad long ago.
He’s throbbing hard by the time he gets to the tail end of her towel, which brushes the tip of her thighs. He tries to adjust himself, to—
“You can take it out, you know.”
Oh. He blinks up at her, his breath freezing in his throat. She’s peering down at him, her lips red and swollen.
“I know you’re hard,” she adds, her voice still raw. “So if it’s uncomfortable… take it out.”
He arches a brow from his position at her thigh. He’s about to retort with something snappy. Something that might keep them bantering for ages. But Ginny has no patience.
“Please.” It’s nearly a command. She blinks down with glassy eyes, her lips swollen. “I want you, Harry.”
Fuck. He groans, rubbing his cock against his palm to relieve some of the pressure. It doesn’t help for long, not that it matters; he’d rather focus on her, anyway. So with a slip of his fingers, the towel opens. She releases a breathy moan, tipping her head back.
Naked.
She’s finally naked. In front of him. His breathing grows ragged, his eyes scanning the territory somehow both totally familiar and completely new. She is thinner; he was right. Her hip bones jut out now, her stomach more sunken. But most of her is the same. The smattering of freckles on her chest. The way her breasts have puckered and darkened, the way her chest is rising and falling so fast. The thatch of dark red hair at the apex of her thighs.
“Well,” she quips. He blinks up at her as she reclines on her elbow. “Are you going to fuck me, Harry, or just stare all day?”
With that, he removes his glasses and gives her a smirk— her only real warning— before he kisses her one more time, just as his fingers spread her thighs.
She opens beneath him with a breathy sigh. Fuck, she’s so wet… he groans into her mouth as he dips his fingers further and further down. She’s dripping by the time he finds her clit… by the time he begins to swirl in tight circles. Clockwise. The pattern that screams of such intimate familiarity that it’s as if the years never passed.
He’s scarcely done anything, but she’s already writhing against his fingers, arching her back. “Please,” she slurs after a minute, “put them in.”
He’s never been one to deny her, has he?
It’s like muscle memory how quickly he finds his face between her thighs instead. He spares a moment of self-indulgence as he closes his eyes, breathing her in. She smells like home. She always has. It’s comfort… but more than that, it’s proof. Proof she wants him as much as he wants her. It’s why he stuffed his face in her knickers whenever he got a spare moment on the Horcrux hunt: one hand on that black lace, the other pulling at his cock. It’s bloody erotic, seeing proof of how much she wants him… but it’s more than that.
It’s love.
And despite all the things he’s forgotten tonight, he’d never forget this. He presses two fingers inside her, his hands shaking, and lets his body do the rest. Fuck, he’s missed this. She cries out above him, her hands grasping at his hair, tugging him closer. He’s never forgotten this… the way she tastes. The way she smells. The right way to run his tongue against her clit. Exactly how many fingers she needs, pressed against her just there… crooked in a certain position… just as she begins to thrust herself up and down on them, her cries growing louder, more insistent… and yesssss, there it is, she’s right there, right fucking there—
“Harry!” Her hair rubs against the pillow with abandon. “I’m… I’m so close,” she pants, her body starting to shake.
“Come for me,” he commands, his cock fit to burst, his face slippery. “Come for me, Ginny.”
He returns to her clit for a split-second before she says the words that change everything.
Her whole body tenses, a blush spreading up her chest. “I love you!” she cries, her voice strangled… and with that, she’s coming, clenching around him, her body shaking as he rides her through it.
What he doesn’t tell her is that he comes, too. The second those words wash over him. Those fucking words that prove he’s fucked up, fucked up, fucked up… but he can’t exactly help that, can he?
He just shoves his face into the duvet, thrusting his hips once, twice, and with a grunt, he’s off. His cock tightens and bursts, filling his boxers. Soaking through his jeans. He pulls back, dizzy, when the clenching finally stops.
Luckily, she seems too distracted to notice. Ginny’s half-asleep as he rises from between her thighs, pulling the blanket over her. He presses a kiss to her temple and makes quick work of removing his soggy clothes. Fairly embarrassing, this. Like he’s 16 again and rutting on the lawn.
He mutters a quick cleaning charm and changes into basketball shorts before settling down beside her in bed… making sure he’s on top of the duvet.
But as he drifts off, there’s something far less sentimental that hammers through his chest: They need to get their shit sorted.
Before he ever, ever lets that happen again.
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hoekaashi · 4 years
Text
3 am Talks - hq pt 2
a/n: i hope you enjoy these! they take place some time during the time skip or close to when the six years are up. pairings: oikawa x reader, iwaizumi x reader, mattsun x reader, kuroo x reader, kenma x reader warnings: some spoilers, smoking weed taglist: @babydabi​, @suckersuki​, @bakugoustanaccount​, @animoozies​ part 1 | part 3
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
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⇾ c o n s p i r a c y t h e o r i e s ⇾ lots of aliens talk ⇾ will try to convince you that he did in fact, see a UFO once ⇾ but also, will complain about the flat ass comments he constant receives ⇾ spills his secret that not even iwa knows - he dropped a shitton of cash to work out with the Kardashian’s personal trainer in hopes to get a nice juicy bubble butt ⇾ spoiler: it didn’t work ⇾ if he’s in a more serious/softer mood, he would talk more about the mistakes he made in the past in regards to his relationships ⇾ friendships or romantic ⇾ a very vulnerable moment for him where he just let’s everything he’s been holding in out
“I swear! I was seven, I went camping with Iwa-chan and his family!” Oikawa was sitting back on his heels with his right hand up, swearing to you. You rolled your eyes. “What, did the aliens abduct you and perform a surgery? You got a nasty scar on you somewhere?” He narrowed his eyes. “I will prove it. I just need to find the picture for you.” “Right. Wait, have you been working out more?” His expression quickly changed from utter disbelief to a smirk. “I have.” “Well, none of it is helping your ass.” He hung his head in defeat. “All that money wasted. I can’t believe I actually thought the Kardashian’s trainer would be able to help me.” “Babe, they’re all plastic and I think that’s the only thing that will help you at this point.” “Every amazing thing about me is natural. Why would I ruin that by enhancing my features unnaturally?” You shrugged. “At least you have that going for you.” “What do you mean ‘at least’?” he asked with air quotes. “I have you, don’t I?” You didn’t expect him to say something like that. “What?” “If you’ve stuck around this long, I must be doing something right. I know I fucked up in the past, but I’m glad you’re so patient with me. It can’t be easy dating someone who only thinks about volleyball.” You smiled softly as he continued. “I want to apologize to Kageyama properly for the way I treated him. And Iwa-chan too. He always had to deal with my bs and that wasn’t his place as my friend.” “Well, he stuck around you all this time, so you must be doing something right too.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・.
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⇾ since california is 16 hours behind, these talks would be in the middle of the day for one of you until a surprise visit happens ⇾ but usually, it would just consist of the two of you catching up ⇾ in person though, he would talk more about how freeing it is to be in a new place, away from everything that was familiar ⇾ how it feels good not to live in anyone's shadow and just start fresh ⇾ (not that he hated being with oikawa, it was just something new for him) ⇾ but also how he doesn’t want to get left behind in the game of life ⇾ how even his new friends *cough* ushiwaka *cough* is going after his dreams
“So how do you like California?” It was 2 am, you just picked up your boyfriend from the airport and you were heading back home. It was a long drive back which gave you plenty of time to talk. “It’s nice. You’re not there, but other than that, I like it.” “Don’t let Oikawa hear that,” you laughed. Iwa slid down his seat a bit and got comfortable. “It feels so freeing. It’s a new start. No one knows me as the ace of Seijoh or as the guy who’s friends with Oikawa. I enjoy people not assuming I’m gay for my best friend.” Even though he was being serious, you couldn’t help but snort at the comment. After all, you had been one of those people too. “It’s like I hit restart and I’m enjoying every minute of it.” “Do you miss anything though? You sound like you’re really enjoying it there.” “Of course I miss things and people. Even though it’s fun, I do miss Shittykawa’s annoying ass and walking in on Makki and Mattsun getting high. Hell, sometimes I miss not being around all the fangirls. But everyone is moving on with their lives, so I can’t stay stuck in the past.” You hummed to let him know you were still listening. “I refuse to get left behind. Even Ushiwaka is going after his own goals.” “Who would’ve thought you would go to a new country, run into him there, and become friends?” Iwa laughed. “Not me, and definitely not Oikawa. He still brings it up, to this day. It’s been two years and he thinks I’ve replaced him.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・.
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⇾ high talks ⇾ i feel like he’s not stressed about much that he needs to vent or get something off his chest ⇾ would probably feel free when he’s high - free from being an adult - and would talk about that ⇾ maybe some funny stories from high school ⇾ makes lots of jokes ⇾ but once it hits him, he’ll be talking about deep shit ⇾ talks about life and everyone’s purpose, why we’re here, that sort of shit
“And then Iwa got so annoyed, he just pantsed Oikawa in front of the girl.” You giggled as Mattsun finally got the story right. “So what happened with the girl?” you asked. “I think she died in the spot because she got to see Oikawa in his underwear.” He took another hit of his blunt and blew the smoke out, over his head. “I wonder if he’s enjoying Argentina.” You glanced up at him before turning your attention back to the show neither of you were really watching. “I’m sure he misses you guys.” “I hope he finds his purpose. All that practice to never make it to nationals…” He sighed. “Iwa is studying to be a trainer. Him too. I hope he gets what he wants in life.” “And you?” Mattsun chuckled. “My purpose is to enjoy my time here. There are enough people in the world who are stressing over something or another. I’m here to balance the scale. Can’t have too much stress in the world or the negativity will just take over. That’s me and Makki, we just chilling through life. What's that saying? Que salsa?” “Que sera sera?” “Yeah that one! Oikawa said that to me when we were talking once.” “I’m surprised you remembered it.” “I’m smarter than I appear. I can’t threaten the nerds either. Balancing the scales.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・.
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⇾ would range from crackhead ideas to deep conversations ⇾ could go from reciting a funny story about kenma to his insecurities in your relationship real fast ⇾ so kuroo is a scorpio and l i t e r a l l y every scorpio I know absolutely sucks ASS at opening up, doesn’t matter what gender ⇾ a part of his insecurities is that you’re constantly trying to get him to open up more and confide in you, but even after knowing him for as long as you have, he barely does ⇾ and it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, it’s just he doesn’t like to feel that vulnerable with anyone ⇾ there would be a lot of thanking you - for being so patient with him, for dealing with his teasing, for accepting his friends, etc ⇾ he doesn’t strike me as someone who enjoys serious conversations too much so if he felt awkward, he would try to make things more light, cue talks about the latest scientific discoveries
The two of you were calming down from a story Kuroo told you about Kenma that happened recently. “I’m sure deep down, he wishes we never became friends.” “It’s not hidden very deep. He texted me that this morning.” Moving closer to Kuroo, you rested your arms on his chest and placed your chin on top of your hands. One of his hands automatically went to card through your hair. Kuroo’s face softened as he took a moment to stare at you. “I’m sorry.” You stared at him confused. “You’ve been with me for so long. I feel like I know your entire life story and your life stories from your last five lives and here I am, unable to even bring up my childhood and family problems. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.” You shrugged slightly. “I mean, yeah it’s pretty annoying but I’ve just come to…” You bit your tongue. “Come to what?” “Come to not expect anything,” you said with a sigh. That caused Kuroo to sit up, making you sit up as well. “Do you really not expect anything from me now?” “Well, not nothing. More like I’m not expecting you to open up. I’m tired of sounding clingy whenever I try to even ask about your day.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You know I never want you to feel like that, right?” You shrugged again. “I just… I don’t know, it’s just hard for me to open up to other people. I guess I’m just used to having someone who understands me without me having to say anything. Vulnerability feels so strange to me so I just try to avoid it when I can.” He took both your hands into his. “I’ll do a better job, I promise. Thank you for being patient with me.”
.・゜-: ✧ :- -: ✧ :-゜・.
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⇾ he’s not much of a talker, we all know this ⇾ but if you ask him the right questions (ie. being annoyingly persistent) he’ll talk ⇾ LOTS of appreciation ⇾ very grateful to all the people he’s met in his life and how each one that he holds dear to his heart plays a different role in his life ⇾ how much he cherishes the people he loves ⇾ and then the conversation would turn to you - how much he appreciates you ⇾ let’s be honest, kenma sucks ass at being affectionate, his love language is probably quality time because just knowing that you’re willing to sit with him as he streams is good enough to make his gamer heart happy ⇾ so he would take the time to fully express how much he does love you since he rarely makes it known to you in other ways
“Kenma, how much longer are you gonna play? You have class tomorrow,” you said while he was streaming. Glancing at the time, he told his viewers that he was going to wrap it up for the night and he joined you in bed. You were talking his ear off about the meet up you had with some of your friends and you could see him grow more and more irritated. “Why did you call me to sleep if you were just going to talk.” “Oh. Well, this is the only time I got to be with just you today…” You pulled the blanket higher up on your body and curled into a ball with your back to Kenma. You felt him shift under the covers until you felt his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “I’m sorry. Tell me what happened next.” You shook your head. “It’s fine, we can talk in the morning.” He buried his face in your neck, giving you a soft kiss. “I love you. I don’t say that enough. I cherish you even if I don’t show you that. You and Kuroo and Shoyo. All of you are the closest people to me, and I appreciate you all so much for the different ways you’ve helped me.” You placed your hand on top of his and interlaced your fingers. “I love you too.” “How about we have lunch tomorrow? I can cancel the stream at night and we can watch a movie.” “What about the viewers?” “They can survive one night without watching me. I owe you since I’ve been a bad boyfriend.”
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I straight up check your profile daily for the southern raiders analysis you’re working on. 👀👀 where IS IT 😩
bRUH I am so excited to drop this analysis you have no idea (It’s creeping up to 22k+ I am gonna cryyyyyyyyyyyy). The only problem is that my TSR analysis and “Moon theory” are so incredibly hard to structure and articulate. I’m happy you’re so excited for it, though!!! Truly, it’s an honor. I’ll give you a taste of my madness and what’s to come, but be warned: it may be a bit hard to follow because TSR (from how I’ve come to understand it) is about the vagueness of beginnings, endings, and cycles, so there isn’t really a starting point for me to begin with. (So it may seem a tad bit like a ramble in some points that I haven’t fleshed out yet/am summarizing for this ask)
This analysis has me on trails like THIS brilliant nonsense, and I am 1000000000% here for it:
Roku: “The spirit's name is Koh, but he is very dangerous. They call him The Face Stealer.”
Katara: “We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me.”...“That’s him. That’s the monster.”
Lion Turtle: “To bend another's energy, your own spirit must be unbendable, or you will be corrupted and destroyed.”
Roku: “When you speak with him, you must be very careful to show no emotion at all. Not the slightest expression, or he will steal your face.”
Hama: “Congratulations, Katara. You’re a bloodbender.”
(If Katara had killed Yon Rha, she would be giving up her identity--her face. Not only would she have become a killer, but she would be killing what made her Katara)
Aang: “Let your anger out, and then let it go. Forgive him.”
Forgive him--approach him for what he is, not the faces your memories or your heart are having him wear. See him for the pathetic man he is in that moment right in front of you.
Aang’s forgiveness is seeing someone for the sum of their parts. It’s judging them and seeing through into their very soul, just like the Firebending Masters saw through Zuko being the Crown Prince and Aang being the Avatar. That meant nothing to the Masters. What did matter to them was who the boys were right there, right then, right in front of them.
“Why should I hold a grudge against you for something you did in a past life? After all, you’re a different person, now. You’ve come to me with a new face.”
But anyways...
If I can give no other take-away from my analysis and moon theory, it’s that Yin and Yang are not two entities; they are three. I think the fandom’s misunderstanding of it may be why the discourse on TSR (and Aang, Katara, and Zuko) is so black and white (pun intended lol). 
“But Yin and Yang are obviously two things. Don’t you know the symbol?” I hear some people already saying.
Wrong, sir.
It has never been just Yin and Yang. Yin and Yang have never existed as just two things.
They are Yin and Yang and Wu Wei.
(Aunt Wu has her name for a reason, and she has the mark of the wise in her hair for a reason, too...AND she is at odds with Sokka in The Fortuneteller for a reason, too!!!...but that’s for the analysis😉)
Balance isn’t good triumphing over evil. Balance is good and evil. Balance is standing on the flow between two opposites--it’s the compliment that connects them. (The koi fish live in an oasis for a reason.)
I’ll explain what Wu Wei is later in the full analysis (like many things in here), but here’s some of my evidences and proofs for the “Yin Yang trio”:
The Tibetan “Wheel of Dharma”
(I’ll also explain the Wheel and Dharma and etc. later because it has everything to do with Koh and the moon) Long story short, the wheel and its spokes are representative of the 8 steps to enlightenment and the cycle of rebirth. 
Look at the hub of the wheel. It’s a swirl made of 3 parts.
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It is also a white lotus
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Here’s the colored version of the wheel (as an alter):
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Recognize the colors?
BLUE, WHITE (or gold, depending), & RED
These are the “THREE TREASURES” OR JEWELS.
They symbolize DHARMA, BUDDHA, & SANGHA respectively. 
KATARA, AANG, & ZUKO
water, air, & fire
T H R E E
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Bato: “Ice dodging is a ceremonial test of wisdom, bravery, and trust.
Bato: “The spirits of water bear witness to these marks...”
Why does Bato say spirit(s) plural? The Ocean and the Moon are only two spirits. The Ocean can’t be two things. Right?
WRONG
Yue: “The legends say the Moon was the first waterbender. Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves.”
The Moon--singular. The Tides--plural (push and pull)
Lion Turtle: “In the era before the Avatar, we bent not the elements, but the energy within our senses.”
The moon pushing and pulling the tide is the moon bending the energy of its world. 
Katara finding balance between “being too weak to do it” or “strong enough not to” is her bending the energy within herself.
It’s two solutions written as a question but said as a statement.
Yue: “Our ancestors saw how it pushed and pulled the tides and learned how to do it themselves”
THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ABOUT AANG AND ZUKO LEARNING FROM KATARA. Katara had already learned from Aang and Zuko all leading up to TSR. That was her studying. TSR was her test.
TSR is Zuko’s and Aang’s studying. Sozin’s Comet is their test.
Bato: “For Sokka, the Mark of the Wise. The same mark your father earned. For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us. And for Aang, the Mark of the Trusted. You are now an honorary member of the Water Tribe.”
Aang - Wise (”you’re pretty wise for a kid”)
Katara - Brave (the same mark her mother earned)
Zuko - Trusted (”I was the first person to trust you”)
Sokka - Bato ("I am to have no part in this--you pass or fail on your own.”)
Yin and Yang are nothing without their dance. The Avatar and the Firelord mean nothing if they don’t have a world to rebuild.
The valley means nothing if there isn’t anyone to live in it.
Fighting is useless if there isn’t someone to fight for, otherwise it is “selfish and stupid”
Katara had to have a reason to return from Yon Rha. She needed to have Aang waiting for her. If she didn’t have a reason to stay, then she wouldn’t have a reason to go.
To have a reason to sleep, a person has to have a reason to wake up.
Katara: “Aang. He just took his glider and disappeared. He has this ridiculous notion that he has to save the world alone; that it's all his responsibility.”
Hakoda: “Maybe that's his way of being brave.”
(Bato: “For Katara, the Mark of the Brave. Your courage inspires us.”)
Katara: “It's not brave! It's selfish and stupid! We could be helping him! And I know the world needs him, but doesn't he know how much we need him, too? How can he just leave us behind?!”
(It was, in fact, not easy for Aang to ‘do nothing’)
Katara: “I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I'm so sad and angry...and hurt.”
Hakoda: “I love you more than anything. You and your brother are my entire world. I thought about you every day when I was gone, and every night when I went to sleep, I would lie awake missing you so much it would ache.”
(AND YUE IS ONE OF THE ONES TO SAVE AANG IN THE OCEAN FOR A REASON)
Thinking and missing: a matter of mind (who) and heart (want). 
Iroh: “Who are you? And what do you want?”
Sokka: “We need to go back. I wanna see Dad, but helping Aang is where we're needed the most.”
Mai: “I love Zuko more than I fear you.”
BUT YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MOON FOR A HOT SECOND???
I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOON
I’LL TELL YOU ABOUT 2 MOONS
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OH
OH REALLY???
OH REALLY, ZUKO
A FEW HOURS YOU SAY?
THEN TELL ME, ZUKO
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WHY IS THE SUN GOING UP
WHEN IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT A FEW HOURS LATER
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AND KATARA IS SLEEPING SO YOU CAN’T TELL ME IT’S BECAUSE YOU RISE WITH THE SUN OTHERWISE SHE’D BE WIDE AWAKE DURING THE FULL MOON THAT SHE USES TO BLOODBEND NOT EVEN TWO MINUTES LATER
THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS A HARVEST MOON
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WHICH IS THE LAST FULL MOON OF THE SUMMER 
(and looks off color when it rises/falls because of the angle of the rise/fall in the atmosphere...it’s normal once overhead)
AND SYMOLIZES HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF
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“We’re going to find the MAN who took my mother from me.”
“That’s him. That’s the MONSTER.”
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8 spokes on the wheel
Katara was 8 when Kya was killed
8 steps to enlightenment (the “Eightfold Path”)
8 phases of the moon
8 faces of Koh
“One of your previous incarnations tried to slay me! Be it 8 or 9 hundred years ago” (but time is an illusion, so hundreds mean nothing)
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THE OTHER TWO MOONS THAT ARE CONSUMING MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT???:
1.) The WOLF MOON--the first full moon of the new year (a love between the wolf and the moon in the harshest winters...connection is kindof obvious lmao)
2.) THE THUNDER MOON
The Thunder Moon is the full moon of July. It is also known as the Buck Moon--for when young buck regrow their antlers.
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Yue: “My hair turned white.”
Zuko: *cuts and re-grows his hair*
Aang: “I have hair?”
The Thunder Moon--the full moon of July--is also the beginning of a certain Buddhist holiday.
DHARMA DAY
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WHICH CELEBRATES THE BEGINING OF BUDDHISM AND THE FIRST OF THE 8 STEPS (the first spoke of the Dharma Wheel) TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT
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AVATAR IS ALL ABOUT CYCLES
THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS IS ALL ABOUT BREAKING THEM
I haven’t even touched Jung, Koh, Hinduism, and Buddhism yet
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or the fact that Katara and Kya are the only characters in the entire series to wear moons on their clothing and that, together, they form an actual lunar phenomenon
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or why the spirit oasis isn’t a complete circle
or the fact that this thing that Aang is told to chase is just like Whaletail Island:
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or how important the Great Divide and the Solstice are
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AND I’M JUST GETTING STARTED
BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN THE SOUTHERN RAIDERS--RIGHT DOWN TO THE SOUND DESIGN--IS ABSOLUTELY MONUMENTAL IN UNDERSTANDING THE SHOW, ITS MESSAGE, ENERGYBENDING, AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE
TLDR: Idk how the heck I’m going to arrange or articulate this analysis because it is WILD. Be warned: There is literally no exact beginning and ending to this analysis because the whole point of Yin and Yang is that is has no beginning or ending (...kindof...), so you’ll have to bear with me once I’m done editing it into something that’s somewhat coherent.
These are just SOME of the things I’ve been able to answer with my moon theory and analysis of The Southern Raiders as it currently stands:
Why “letting go” isn’t really letting go (as we understand it...see: Aang’s confrontation with Koh)
Why Lake Laogai and the Spirit World are symbolically the same thing.
Zuko’s advice to the bullfrog is actually a summary of the show, energybending, the origin of bending, and the definition of Aang’s “forgiveness” I stg
Why “Sokka’s instincts” are the reason Katara yells at Sokka
Believe it or not, every time Katara mentions her mother, it is at specific times for specific reasons.
^^^same thing for the moon, lack of moon, moon positioning, etc.
Katara’s mother’s necklace is more important than we realize.
Who the faces of Koh are and WHY they are there.
The true meaning of Jet’s sacrifice.
Why Jet’s episode about the dam explains the entirety of TSR as it pertains to Katara (all the way down to the little girl who runs to get her doll after the dam breaks)
Why Katara actually DID forgive Yon Rha, and the fact that she doesn’t even know it is proof that she did
^^^^^Aang’s definition of forgiveness is completely misunderstood by the fandom, and the way he “forgives” is sososo much deeper than “moving on”, and it is DEFINATELY by no means “doing  nothing” or “excusing” past actions.
The importance of lightning, Zuko, Aang, and Katara.
The absolutely monumental and not nearly talked about importance of Jeong-Jeong like holy crap.
How Katara and Azula are just as much of a Yin and Yang as Zuko and Aang but not in the way we think they are
Why Koh has the Blue Spirit’s face
Why Koh DOESN’T have the Painted Lady’s face.
Who Ni-Ni from Katara’s campfire story in The Puppetmaster is 
How and why Iroh was able to learn firebending from the Masters even though he didn’t have a partner. 
How/Why Azula had her breakdown and why she saw her mother in the mirror
Why “Leaves from the Vine” and “Four Seasons” are the same song, explain Azula’s downfall, and explain the Yin and Yang of TSR.
Why Katara and Sokka are so often mistaken for parental figures.
Why Aang’s flashbacks to the Air Nomads are so important in understanding TSR.
Why Toph and Suki disappear after the campfire in TSR.
How Hakoda, Gyatso, and Kya are all connected.
Why it is so dang important that Azula shows up in the beginning of TSR.
The importance of the Spirit Oasis.
Energybending, healing with waterbending, Aang’s trauma, and Zuko’s scar.
Why Zuko gives Katara the exact opposite advise in TSR that he gave her in the catacombs. 
How everything could be predicted and read by the moon.
WHY YIN AND YANG ARE THREE THINGS AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THREE THINGS.
HOW ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF THIS TIES BACK TO THE MOON AND BUDDHIST BELIEFS--AND YEAH THE MOON AND BUDDHISM AND HINDUISM ARE MORE CONNECTED IN ATLA THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.
AND HOW IT LEADS INTO OUR MODERN UNDERSTANDING OF THE SELF--BECAUSE JUNG TOOK GREAT INFLUENCE IN HIS DEVELOPING THEORY OF THE CONSCIOUS AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS FROM THE HINDU/BUDDHIST RELIGIONS 
^^^^AND ALSO THE THEORY OF THE SHADOW AND THE PERSONA 
The ocean is a deep, dark, unknown place with a lot of hidden monsters (like Yon Rah). Katara needed a light to find her monster, but she also needed somewhere she could breathe when she came back up for air.
If she didn’t have both Zuko and Aang, Katara would have drowned. 
I wasn’t kidding when I said this was a thesis, and what I’ve said and listed here isn’t even all that I have.
btw This all does line up on the traditional Yin Yang symbol we know and see in the show, but I don’t have enough space here for that lmao. That’ll be in the analysis
I hope you enjoyed this little taste, my friend, because I need to sit down for a hot second before my brain leaks out of my ears. Sorry for the ramble. I promise the analysis isn’t like this lol. This is just me trying to summarize as best as I can. 
***Disclaimer: My points are always subject to change since I am still researching. These are the facts as I’ve found and applied them to the evidences I’ve noted from in the show. I’m always open for friendly discussion or any directions to better sources on Buddhism/Tao/Jung!***
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spiderling-space · 3 years
Note
Alright so my bday is on Christmas Eve and due to everyone being out with family I’ve never had a bday party. So, may I request the first years throwing a surprise party for MC? Personally it would be cute if MC broke down crying tears of joy saying how much they appreciate everyone, but it’s up to you.
I was going to only focus on New Year related stuff then I saw your request. My birthday is in 3 days (27th) and because of COVID-19, for the first time in 18 years, I won’t be able to celebrate it with my friends so this will be self-indulgent for me.
Happy belated birthday! Congratulations on leveling up to a new age! I hope you will have a healthy year!
Since there are too many characters, I’ll go with the headcanon format. Once again, it is assumed that these fellas didn’t go home during their winter break.
My inbox is open
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Ace Trappola
Ace is the one who thought of a surprise birthday party for (Y/N). He somehow got them to tell him when their birthday is and he told Deuce as soon as he learned it.
He is the mastermind behind the planning. He excuses himself from doing the actual work by saying he has done the plan.
Ace asks Trey to do the cake for (Y/N) or more accurately he tries to trick him into baking without Ace doing any labour but he fails.
♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️♠️
Deuce Spade
Deuce wrote on his phone and his notebooks when (Y/N)’s birthday is so he wouldn’t forget.
He didn’t think of throwing a party for them at first but after Ace pitched in his idea, he thought it was a great one. He also avoids (Y/N) to not spill the beans.
Deuce works hard on preparing the decorations for (Y/N)’s birthday. He sometimes fails but at least Jack is helping him.
🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺
Jack Howl
Ace and Deuce tell about the surprise birthday party for (Y/N) to Jack. At first, he is casual about it but then he agrees to help only because it is the right thing to do. 
He hates lying and cannot lie so he will avoid talking with (Y/N) every time they ask what he is doing.
Jack is helping Deuce with decorations, doing the heavy lifting and hanging the decorations on high places, his strength and height being extremely useful for this occasion.
🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎
Epel Felmier
Ace and Deuce ask if Epel wants to join with Jack joining them. He agrees to help because he has never done this before, in his village, there is no person around his age.
He is usually a quiet person and he can keep a secret just like how he keeps his feral side secret. Most of the time at least... So he can hang around (Y/N) during that time.
Trey is going to make side desserts and the ingredients are provided by your truly Epel. Also, Epel craves beautiful shapes out of apples to make the decoration on the table.
⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️
Sebek Zigvolt
It was hard to convince Sebek to join in the preparations but Ace is there to trick him. Ace says helping them prepare for (Y/N)’s birthday would be a great practice for Lilia and Malleus’ birthdays.
The rest of the gang tells him that he took silence oaths, meaning that they will not talk about the party so Sebek also takes an oath. That was a lie though. They told him that because Sebek has a booming voice and when he talks about it, (Y/N) could hear him from meters away.
Sebek wants to take on the most complex and hardest tasks for the surprise birthday party and wants to be included in all processes of the planning so he can do them on Lilia and Malleus’ birthdays. 
🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱
The Great Grimm
Ace and Deuce tell Grimm about the party they are planning. Grimm likes the idea of the party and agrees to help but he has one condition. They will get him tuna cans and special treats from Trey's baking.
Grimm can keep his mouth shut if he wills it and the incentive is too good to pass.
Since Grimm is tiny with little paw-paws, he can't do much with the preparations. His duty is to distract (Y/N) so that they won't find out the surprise.
----
On the day of (Y/N)'s birthday, Grimm does something that makes (Y/N) chase him. Grimm lures them into the loctaion where the party is held and (Y/N) is met with "SURPRISE!" from everyone, almost giving them heart attack. They get emotional over the party they prepared because (Y/N) doesn't have their family nor their friends from their world. They thank them all and open their presents after blowing out the candles. They barely keep Grimm form diving into the cake. (Y/N) is also wary of Ace, thinking that he might smash the cake to their face.
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Text
Page Eighty-Three- Kaz Brekker
Real (Page Eighty-Three series, part 3)
And thus, here we arrive at the end of the Page Eighty-Three series! I’ve been working on it almost a week now, and had the idea brewing in my brain for two weeks beforehand, so, considering the way that I’ve chosen to publish all the parts, it’s not gonna be a very emotional goodbye for you guys, but for me, oddly enough, it is?
Its the first fic I’ve done that’s been more than two parts, and I guess that adds to it? I don’t know! But, anyways, on with it!
Also, a gentle reminder, I only have Kaz being a little on the touchier side because this is a bit of an AU of sorts, and they’re around twenty four in this last part, which gave him time to work on his trauma more and get comfortable with touch!
Fic type- fluffy as fuck
Warnings- a very brief mention of the flashback in the first chapter (to be specific, nina says ‘stopped you from getting hatecrimed’) and a brief sexual innuendo
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T H R E E Y E A R S L A T E R 
You knocked out after you’d killed your father, and went home completely unconscious on Inej’s boat, tucked onto a cot with Kaz at your side. Genya had decided to spend a little time around Ketterdam, get to know the ins and outs and provide intel for Nikolai when he asked for it, and Nina had decided that her home could be Ketterdam for four months of every year. 
Inej did her thing, catching and killing slavers all around the globe, but her visits to Ketterdam became more frequent after you’d gotten back. 
Jesper took your amplifier and made it a project for himself, removing the claw from the obsidian and instead using his fabrikator abilities to turn it into a bracelet that you wore on your right hand, made of gold, with the claw dulled out so that it didn’t poke you when you moved your wrist.
A year after you’d returned home, when yourself and Kaz had gone into his office one morning, book clutched in one of your hands, the other interlaced with Kaz’s fingers, you found a box sitting on his desk.
A note from Zoya was taped to the top of it. 
A top tier bitch deserves a top tier amplifier, it read. Bracelet. Wear it on your right wrist. It’ll go with the bear claw wrapped in gold.
You kept the note, reading it to yourself whenever you needed a laugh, giggling about it with Nina when she needed a laugh, too. 
All of those small moments ended up leading to a much bigger one, though. The day that Kaz proposed. 
It was a pretty simple proposal, but you loved it. 
--
“I had to get advice from Jes about this,” was how he started it, even before he’d gotten down onto one knee. “He proposed to Wylan in the fall, and I know that the Winter makes Ketterdam look absolutely stunning, and I know that you like the scenery, so, well, here we are.” 
You’d been walking around Ketterdam, the clicking of Kaz’s cane against the pavement a soothing sound for the both of you. 
You’d managed to make it near the outskirts of Ketterdam just by walking, as Kaz’s leg was being decent to him and he wanted to walk until you’d arrived at one of the more scenic spots. You indulged him for the sake of it, making sure you took breaks and that he got water when he was tired. 
It’d been snowing, and the sky had yet to darken beyond a light grey. You and Kaz both had snow in your hair, but to one another, it just added to handsomeness, so neither of you moved to brush the snow out of your hair or off your faces. 
“When we were seventeen,” he began, feeling for the box in his pocket. The one with a ring inside, cushioned by red, velvety fabric. “You read me a quote from the book I’d gotten you that day. You’ve memorized just about every poem in it since, and I happen to have done the same thing.” 
“The quote that you read to me was from The Sun and Her Flowers. It was on page eighty three,” he grinned at you, a fully fledged smile. Something he saved for you and you exclusively.
“I’m going to change the wording a bit, because it’s in the past tense, and we’re not past tense. The quote was ‘you were mine, and my life was full,’,” he said. “I’m changing it to ‘you are mine, and my life is full.’ Because thats how I feel.”
“Kaz?” You asked. “Do you have something planned?” He raised an eyebrow at you as he clutched the box.
“I suck at words, so, from Rupi Kaurs book Milk and Honey, I offer you this,” he carefully got down onto a knee, using his cane to keep him steady for a few quiet moments as you realized what was happening. 
“‘You are every hope and dream I’ve ever had, in human form.” He pulled out the ring, opening the box and holding it out to you. “That’s page forty nine, love.” 
“If you can’t think of an answer, please, just-- anything works,” if Jesper had told sixteen year old Kaz Brekker that he’d end up on his knees, begging you for a response to his proposal at just twenty two, he’d have called Jesper crazy.
“Yes,” you mumbled. “Yes, Kaz Brekker. If you’re asking me to marry you, it’s an immediate yes.” He used his cane to get himself up to standing again, slipping the ring onto your ring finger and accepting the hug that you pulled him into.
You were going to marry Kaz Brekker, the love of your life, and you couldn’t wait for it. 
--
The day seemed to come at you quickly, even though you’d not set the date until Winter of year that you turned twenty four. 
First, it was calling Nikolai and asking if you could cash in the reward for killing your father and doing him and the world a justice that they deserved, then it was finding suitable tuxedos and sending out invitations and planning a million different things at once. 
But, eventually, you, Jesper, Wylan, Genya, and Nina, were all on Inejs boat, headed toward the Little Palace.
Then, all of the sudden, you were in the last stretch of time before the wedding. Alina, Mal, Genya, Zoya, and Nina were talking as Genya tailored you, getting rid of some of the blemishes and fixing up little things about your face that you’d asked her to tailor until the end of the ceremony. 
“It’s weird,” Alina said, pressing a kiss to Mals cheek as she glanced at her own wedding ring. “I remember you as this fourteen year old boy who used to gawk at the attractive guys in the Second Army, the boy who resented his powers and swore at his father at any chance that he got, and now you’re and you’re completely different.”
“Different how?”
“Kaz Brekker,” Genya said, running her finger under one of your eyes gently, as to get rid of your eyebags. “He’s good for you.”
“And you don’t resent your powers anymore,” Zoya adds. “You don’t use them often, but you don’t resent them.” 
“You use them, don’t you, mate?” Mal quipped. “Or were my eyes tricking me when I went to wake you and Brekker up this morning, only to find you keeping light out of your room with a flick of your bloody wrist?” 
“I was tired,” you pouted. “Kaz and I both were!”
“Ah, newlyweds,” Nina joked.
“It’s not like that!” You shouted. “Zoya, help me out!”
“He’s able to kiss you now,” she said. “Like, with tongue and stuff. Theres no reason he wouldn’t be able to enjoy a fun little tumble with you here and there!”
“’Tongue, and stuff,’” Mal repeated. “Yes, Zoya, because, as a twenty six year old woman, that’s totally adult phrasing.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to describe it any better,” Nina quipped. Genya and Alina hummed their agreement as Genya moved to your hair, fluffing it and styling it so it that it looked nice as you adjusted the cuffs on your dress shirt. 
“Wheres my blazer?” You asked, grabbing your tie from Genyas lap, tying it as she evened out some of the color near your roots. 
“Closet,” Alina answered. “I’ll get it for you!” Mal checked his watch.
“We’ve got three minutes to get down there,” he said. “Lets make the most of Y/Ns remaining 180 seconds unmarried.” You laughed, rolling your eyes as Genya stood, helping you up after.
Nina shot Genya a glance, and she took the hint, ushering Alina, Mal and Zoya out of the room and passing Nina your blazer as she left. 
Nina helped you into your blazer, running her thumb along your cheek with a smile. 
“I never thought I’d see Kaz Brekker married,” she said. “But hey, I guess stopping you from getting hatecrimed had it’s benefits, didn’t it?” 
You laughed, shrugging.
“I think that we’ll rebuild some of the Slat,” you said. “Make the rooms bigger. Get plaques declaring whos room is whos.”
“A golden plaque with Nina Zenik emblazoned on it?”
“Bolted to your bedroom door, Neens.” 
“I love you, Morozova.” She said, trapping you into a tight hug.
“I love you back, Zenik.” You said. “Now, c’mon. I don’t think anyone would take too kindly to me being late for my own bloody wedding, would they?” 
--
The wedding was small, taking place close to the entrance of the Little Palace. There were no chairs to sit on, but the few guests you’d invited didn’t mind it whatsoever. 
The guest list was fairly small, considering your tight knit little family. Wylan was Kaz’s best man, Your best woman was Nina. The people standing in the small crowd were all familiar faces.
Wylans mother, Marya Hendriks, and Jespers father, Colm Fahey were the oldest there. Among them were Nikolai, Alina, Mal, Genya, Rotty and Specht, and the two members of the Dregs who’d originated the King of the Barrel nicknames. Their names were Terrowin and Kira, and when you caught their eyes, they were beaming at you both.
Jesper was officiating, and as you met his gaze, you remembered how he was practically bouncing off the walls the day that you’d asked him to officiate. 
“Okay, now that they’re both here, we can begin!” Jesper couldn’t hide his excitement.
“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper laughed through the words. He’d not called Kaz ‘Mr. Brekker’ unless he was doing so in a jokey context. You knew that, had it been anyone elses wedding, they’d probably have gotten angry at Jesper for giggling through the words, but for you and Kaz, it just added to an already perfect day. “Do you take Y/N as your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do,” he said. 
“Mr. Morozova,” Jesper glanced at you, and you met his gaze, having to stifle laughter when you realized just how wide his grin was. How happy he seemed. He looked like he was about to start bouncing off the walls and screaming with joy. “Do you take Kaz as your lawfully wedded husband?”
“Hells yes,” you said, giggling slightly. For a moment, Kaz let his lips lift into a grin. You matched it with your own smile and took his hand into yours.
“You’ve prepared your own vows, so, Mr. Brekker, sir, you go first!” Kaz glanced at Jesper inquisitively, grin still on his face as he started talking and met your eye.
“I’ve loved you as long as I’ve known you,” he said. “And when my heart says something, I’ve learned to listen to it. I love you with my entire heart and so much more, and I hate that I’m not good with words, because that’s all I can say. Nothing else accurately cultivates the feelings I’ve felt for you since that night, when you were broken and bruised underneath that saintsforsaken lamplight. I promise to love you every minute of every day, Brekker.” You’d agreed to change your last name to his. You’d be Y/N Brekker by the end of the night.
“Mr. Brekker,” Jesper said. “Since you’ll be married in a few minutes and I have to get used to that last name on you, you may say your vows!” 
“When I was fifteen, I was caught and beat broken by a group of eight eighteen year olds,” you began. “But you saved my ass before I was killed, and it seems as though our relationship has been a series of saves ever since. Kaz Brekker, with the ring I’m about to put on your finger, I’m promising that I’ll do that forever. Please, though, try to avoid getting yourself kidnapped too often, okay?” His chest shook in silent laughter as he nodded.
“The rings, gentlepeople?” Jesper asked, Nina passed you the ring you’d slip into Kaz’s finger, and Wylan passed Kaz the one he’d put onto yours.
“Put them on,” Jesper said. You and Kaz both glanced at him once more, meeting each others eye thereafter, grinning and shaking your heads. It’d become very clear to you that the twenty four year old who you’d recruited to officiate your wedding was damn near close to letting out an excited squeal. 
Kaz put the ring onto your ring finger and you did the same for him, waiting for Jespers next words as you took a half a step closer to Kaz. 
“Kiss, you idiots!” Jesper said. Kaz laughed, pulling you close and pressing a kiss to your forehead.
He’d kiss you like nothing else later in the evening, when the only thing to bug you was a lamp that you’d left on, but you both agreed that a forehead kiss would be as far as you’d go in front of others. Kisses, to Kaz, were personal, and you respected and loved that about him. 
“Saints, bless this fuckin’ union!” Jesper shouted. You glanced at Alina, who shot you a thumbs up and a nod as the party part of the wedding kicked off. 
Terrowin and Kira were the first people that you and Kaz talked to.
“Did you secure it?” He asked.
“The property?” Terrowin was a Zemeni boy, with skin dark as night and eyes as warm as the sun. 
“Or the trip?” Asked Kira, a girl from Shu Han with hair black as the feathers on a crow and blue eyes as cold as the Fjerdan ice. 
“The property, first and foremost,” he said. “Did you get it? Did you give it the name I asked you to?”
“Yes, and yes,” said Terrowin. “Beside The Silver Six is a bookstore called Page Eighty-Three. It’s scheduled to open in the fall.” Your eyes widened as you made the connection.
“Page eighty-three?” You asked, smirk on your lips. Kaz shrugged.
“And the request?”
“The line from the poem will be put on the wall behind the clerks counter,” Kira said. “Just as you requested.”
“And the trip?”
“Your boat for Novyi Zem leaves in two days, Boss,” Kira said. “Two bells in the afternoon. It’s directly routed to Coftons docks.” Kaz nodded.
“Thank you,” he said. “We’ll see you when Page Eighty-Three opens.” 
“Damn right we will,” you said. Terrowin and Kira laughed as they walked away.
You glanced around the room, spotting Jesper and Wylan perched at a piano, playing the music that everyone was dancing to. Marya and Colm dancing close to them. Nina and Zoya dancing like idiots and laughing throughout. Mal and Inej making conversation and Genya and Alina heading your way.
“Congrats, you two,” Genya said. “Can I expect to see you both tanned and rested up when you get back from Novyi Zem?” 
“You’ll be in Ketterdam?” You asked. Genya nodded.
“For a couple of months, to make sure that your Jesper friend doesn’t colossally fuck things up while your friend Inej is doing her thing on the open ocean,” Alina said. “I’m there to visit for a bit, under the radar.” 
“Thank you, Alina,” he said. “Thank you both. For everything that you’ve done in these past years.” 
“No biggie, Brekker,” Alina said. “I don’t know you that well, but I see how happy you make Y/N, and he’s like a little brother. I care about his happiness.” 
“You two are absolutely bloody adorable,” Genya said. “Now, back to my question, will you be tan, or at the very least, well rested, upon your return?”
“Kaz is pale,” you said. “He’ll burn like a crisp. Me? I don’t really know. I guess it depends.” 
“We’ll be well rested,” Kaz said. “He’s a darkling. He can create shadow. I fully intend to use that to keep the sun out in the mornings.” 
“I won’t do whatever you ask of me!” You quipped.
“You had no issue with that last night,” he said, raising a teasing eyebrow. “Or this morning!”
“Mal was right!” Alina shouted, her and Genya bursting into giggles. “Damn it, I hate it when that happens!” You laughed.
You took another glance around you, spotting your friends.
No, wait. Scratch that.
Not your friends.
Your family. 
Your family was having a good time, eating, talking, dancing, laughing. They were enjoying themselves and congratulating you as you talked to Alina and Genya. 
Kaz had an arm around your waist, his cheek pressed against the side of your head as his other hand gently turned your wedding ring around on your finger. He was talking to people without arguing with them. He was holding you like you were the only thing that mattered to him.
Your life was perfect.
Kaz was yours, you were his, and your life was full. 
--------
tags: @whateverfandom00 @a-c-lee @incorrectquotesconaisseur @the7seannas​ @teatimeforusreaders​ @hunnybunimdun​
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harryspet · 4 years
Text
a long way down [3] b.barnes & s.rogers
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[Warnings] dark bucky barnes x reader, dark steve rogers, violence, death, heavy angst, the walking dead au, slice of life, domestic steve, vaginal sex (wear protection, please)
A/N: I love how this was supposed to be a one-shot and now I’m finding all the ways to make this series longer and add more drama. 
ADULT AND TRIGGERING CONTENT AHEAD
In which your world is shaken again and you’re forced to run back to your first safe haven. 
word count: 3.4k
series masterlist
T H E  N E X T  S P R I N G 
“She recognizes you,” You said, watching Peter’s eyes widen as the baby smiled up at him. It was currently tummy time in the living room and the two of you laid beside her, watching her explore her environment, “That’s Uncle Peter, right Margot?”
You watched her little fingers wrap around her little toys as she proceeded to put them in her mouth to taste them. Six whole months had passed since she was welcomed to this scary world and she’d already grown so much, “It’s me, Margot. It’s me,” Peter spoke in a cute voice and the baby proceeded to babble something incoherent, “Bet you I can get her to say Peter before she says Mama.”
You rolled your eyes at that as you continued to watch her, “You will be saying Mama first, missy,” You told her though she was only focused on a bright orange ring toy. You could look at her little face for hours on hours. You hadn’t felt true love until you laid eyes on her. 
The long journey it took you to get here only made you love her more. You were lucky that she didn’t come too early. God forbid you needed a c-section or she was facing the wrong way. You wanted her to survive and that’s all you hoped and prayed for. When you lost too much blood and began to pass out, you were still happy knowing she’d be okay. 
You didn’t think you would make it. Sharon did her best to give you the best care she could but modern medicine wasn’t available to you. You were sick and on bed rest for the first two months she was alive so now you were enjoying the time when you could move around with her. During the time you were unconscious, Steve had made the considerate decision to name the baby Margaret after some long lost love. 
Margaret Rogers. 
You refused to call her that and decided on a nickname of your own choosing.
“C’mere, Margot,” You sat up, lifting the baby into your lap, “Let me show you something cool, Peter.” 
Peter sat up too, his eyes confused as you removed one of her little socks. She was still happily waving around the toy as you ran a finger down the sole of her foot. Her little toes spread out like a little fan, “That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” Peter declared and you giggled. 
“It’s called the Babinski reflex. It might go away as early as twelve months so I’m going to savor the cuteness,” You encouraged Peter to try it too and the boy seemed to swoon over Margot. You moved the baby into his lap, continuing to tell him about all the little milestones that Margot was passing. 
“She’s like a sponge, it’s amazing,” Peter said, bouncing the little girl in his lap, “Do you get any sleep?”
You nodded, “I’m up by five every morning but I’m used to it now. If she wakes up while I’m sleeping, Steve takes care of her. Luckily, she’s sleeping through the night.”
“Such a sweet girl,” Peter cooed, “I’m sure you’d never cause Mommy any problems.” You were lucky that Margot’s temperament was easy. She got frustrated like all other babies but she wasn’t very sensitive. You thought it meant she’d do well in a world like this. 
The two of you spent more time with Margot but your peace and serenity was interrupted when both Steve and Bucky returned home. You always got the feeling that they disliked Peter being around but that never stopped you from being friends with him. Peter probably cared more for you then both of them combined. 
“It’s getting late, son,” You heard Steve say, his deep voice trying to be as authoritarian as it could. Steve scared Peter, you could tell that much. 
“I’ll go then,” Peter rushed out, handing the little girl back to you. Margot seemed a bit upset at his absence and you held her to you in order to keep her calm. You knew it was useless to argue about this with Steve and you doubted Bucky would have your back. 
You stood up from your place on her baby blanket, using Margot’s hand to wave goodbye, “Say bye-bye, Peter,” The little girl only mumbled something incoherent, “See you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Margot. Goodbye, Y/N,” Peter smiled before walking out of the living room. The room went silent as Peter made his way to the front door and tension only increased 
Steve walked over to greet his daughter, lifting her from your arms, “Hello, honey-bear,” Margot’s mood seemed to lift again as she recognized her Daddy and Steve’s hard exterior softened. When they were together, it reminded you how alike they looked. He lifted the giggling girl, taking a whiff of her bottom, “You need a change, don’t you?”
“I can do it-”
Steve interrupted you, “No, I’ve got it. Daddy’s gonna change you, yes he is.” 
“Wash your hands please,” You told Steve who was too focused on the tiny creature. As Steve walked away to climb the stairs, your eyes met with Bucky’s. Although you liked that he was forced to face the consequences of his actions, you knew that he was still chasing your affection. He was facing his demons in order to get closer to you. 
“Catch anything good?” You asked, leaning down to collect all the toys. There was a lake just outside the compound limits that Steve and Bucky frequented for their “time to just be a man” where they liked to go fishing. 
“Nothing alive,” Bucky said, following you as you walked into the kitchen. You put the toys into the sink, turning the warm water on in order to clean them. Bucky leaned against the counter and you felt his gaze burning into you, “It’s still pretty peaceful out there, we didn’t run into any walkers. I was thinking we could go out there together, you could take a break like you deserve.”
“Go out there and do what?” You asked, your eyes not meeting his. 
“I don’t know, have a picnic or something.”
“Or something?” You scoffed, scrubbing at the toys, “Sounds romantic.”
Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line of frustration, “I’m trying here. I’m not good at … romantic stuff.”
“To say the least,” You added, “Bucky, I don’t need or want a break. I’m perfectly content right now.”
“You’re sure about that? You don’t have any other needs begging to be met?” You scowled at him, knowing what he was hinting at. Steve had barely touched you since you started showing and, after the rough birth, he wasn’t willing to rush into trying for a boy. 
“I’m sure.”
+
“Looks like both the girls are down for the night,” Steve said, letting out a sigh as he sat in his desk chair. Bucky sat in the chair in front of Steve’s desk, his feet kicked up on the desk. 
“What about Sharon?”
Steve rubbed his temples at the mention of the woman, “She’s been working late at the infirmary. She won’t tell me but I know it’s because my attention has been elsewhere,” Bucky was beginning to doubt Steve’s feeling for Sharon in the first place. It seemed Steve was ready to completely let the woman go due to her infertility, “I don’t really care if she doesn’t come back. Y/N and I can handle things on our own.”
Bucky only nodded, his mind already wandering elsewhere. Steve noted his friend's frustration and wondered why the man continued to bother with you. Even after all this time, Bucky still didn’t have anyone else on his mind, “What’s on your mind, Buck?”
Bucky’s fingers rubbed over his facial hair as he thought, “That Peter kid.”
Right away, Steve understood. It had been a topic they avoided despite knowing how each other felt about it, “What about him?”
“You don’t think he spends a little too much time around here? With your daughter?”
Steve didn’t believe Peter was any real threat to his family here. Steve saw him as a distraction for you. Someone who helped you forget your worries, “This is about her, Buck. You don’t want him around her.”
“Fine,” Bucky threw up his hands in defeat, “I think he’s getting in the way of Y/N letting me in again. She has Peter to be there and tell her everything's going to be alright so she doesn’t need me.”
“Tell her not to see him then. Matter of fact, tell him to stay away,” Steve spoke simply, the solution obvious in his mind. 
“If she knows I had something to with it, it’ll make things worse. I have to be the good guy in her eyes.”
Steve smiled, a lightbulb going off in his mind, “Shall I be the bad guy then?”
Bucky moved his feet, leaning forward in his chair, “What are you thinking?”
“I still need someone to replace you. Someone to travel and relay messages between our camp and my allies. Peter could fill the position for the time being,” Bucky didn’t think over it long before he agreed. All that was on his mind was winning you back and this would only help his cause, “I need to keep up appearances around here anyways. We don’t need some kid running around here with our girls, right?”
“Right,” Bucky said, his mind on you, “Thanks, Steve.”
“No need, Buck. We have to look out for each other. Besides that, I think it's a good time to ask you to be my second in command.”
+
Margot was a complete celebrity in Liberty. You couldn’t walk on the street without people coming up to wave or to get a look at her. Margot was good with strangers which only solidified her position as princess of this place. 
It was a sunny spring day and you had dressed her in a floral dress and a pink bow. You carried her in one hand and held a tupperware of deserts in the other hand. Sam wasn’t far behind but that hadn’t changed in the past year. 
“We’re going to find uncle Peter, yes we are,” You cooed to the little girl who was energized from her latest nap, “And he’s going to love the cookies we made him.”
You eventually got to the barracks where Steve’s group of soldiers usually stayed, you walked through the long lines of bunk beds to find his. As you passed some men, all of them burly and intimidating, they even waved hello to your little one. 
As you approached Peter’s bunk you found it empty, only a mattress sitting on top of the metal. All of his comics and textbooks were nowhere to be found. You searched around for the nearest person and found a group of older men playing some dice game, “Excuse me, do you know where Peter Parker is today? He slept over there,” You asked, pointing to Peter’s bunk. 
“Packed up early this morning,” The man said, “Think he got reassigned.”
“Reassigned where?” You asked.
“Something outside of the compound. Poor kid.”
Your heart started pounding heavily as you turned back to Sam, “Take me to Steve. Now.”
“He’s on duty-”
“Find him and take me to him, Sam.”
+
Margot was screaming in your eyes mostly because she sensed how upset you were. As soon as you approached Steve, he swooped the little girl into his arms, trying to calm her, “What the hell are you doing?” Steve asked. He came down from one of the watchtowers, a rifle still strapped to his back, as he saw you approaching with Sam. 
“Peter? Where did you send him?”
Steve sighed, “Y/N-”
“Where did you send him?” You shouted back. 
“I needed a new emissary and he volunteered to do it,” Steve stated simply. 
“By himself? He’s a kid, Steve!” Margot cried louder but your blood was boiling, “You’re going to get him killed!”
“We all have to earn our keep around here, Y/N. Some people put their lives on the line for a chance to live here and then people like you spread your legs for it. That’s how it works, sweetheart.”
“You’re a fucking monster,” You spat at him. 
+
Bucky scoured the camp looking for you for a good hour. You were sitting at the bottom of a big tree, staring out into a small field. Where the field ended, the wall began. Bucky startled you when he suddenly appeared and you were quick to try and wipe away your tears. 
He took a seat beside you, leaning his back against the tree. This area of the camp was peaceful, it was no wonder that you had taken a liking to it. 
“What are you doing here?” You asked, your face in a frown. 
“I thought you didn’t need a break,” Bucky said, avoiding your question. 
“This isn’t a break,” You said softly, “You’re supposed to feel relaxed on a break-” As your voice cracked and the tears started falling again, Bucky wrapped an arm around your soldier. You leaned into him and sobbed into his shoulder. 
“I didn’t even get to say goodbye,” You tried to speak as you choked on your sobs.
“He’ll be back, I promise” Bucky stated, “Probably sooner than you think. The kid can handle himself.”
“He shouldn’t have to. Margot shouldn’t have to,” You said, “It isn’t fair.”
Bucky rubbed your shoulder, drawing lines on your skin with his fingers, “I know, doll.”
It was like losing your family all over again. It was worse than losing them. At least you knew they were dead. You wouldn’t know if he was alive or dead and, if something happened, you wouldn’t even know how it happened. There were so many things outside of the walls that could get you killed. 
You pulled away from Bucky gently, realizing how long it had been since you’d been in his arms. Looking into those blue eyes gave you a weird sense of familiarity. Of home, “Maybe you could talk to Steve? For me?”
Bucky nodded, “Of course, doll.”
You stared at his moment and Bucky noted the way your gaze traveled to your lips. Bucky reached over to wipe a tear from your cheek. He couldn’t hide how attracted to you he was, even when you were crying. Bucky placed a soft, hesitant kiss on your cheek, “Everything’s going to be okay. All I should worry about is your little one.”
You took a deep breath, nodding in agreement. 
It must’ve been the emotions or the off-balance hormones because, when Bucky leaned into your lips, you didn’t stop him. In fact, you welcomed that touch. The soft kisses soon became more desperate and hungry. Your lips were angry, demanding as they moved against his. 
It shocked Bucky as much as it did to you. Bucky was elated but he had little time to celebrate you being back in his clutches. You were hungry for something and he was going to make sure you were satisfied. 
Bucky pulled you into his lap and, as you straddled him you said, “Just this once.”
“Just this once,” Bucky agreed, knowing the opposite would be true. 
Your lips devoured each other and Bucky explored your mouth with his hands pulled down the straps of your sundress. As your breast sprang free, he palmed them his hand. The cold of his metal hand sent shivers down your spine but Bucky warmed you again with his mouth. He played with your nipple in his mouth causing you to bite down on your lips. 
Your hands ran through his hair as you savored the feeling. As he moved his mouth away, his head tilted up at you, “You’re so beautiful,” Bucky said and you rolled your eyes, leaning down to undo his belt and zipper. 
“Just fuck me, okay?” Bucky grabbed you by your ass roughly pulling you into him. He reached under your dress, tucking your underwear to the side as he positioned himself at your entrance. You could feel how hard he already was and the idea of him filling you up was making your mouth water with anticipation. 
As you slowly impaled yourself on his cock, your mouth was agape. You realized how full he made you fill, how complete you felt. Bucky held your hips as you began to bounce up and down. Bucky groaned huskily, loving how your face contorted to different expressions as the pleasure went through you. 
As you tried to contain your moans, Bucky placed kisses along your jaw and then on your neck. He felt all your anger and sadness as you used it as motivation, moving your body hard against his. 
The two eventually met your climaxes together, your body shaking as you rode out the rest of the wave. You breathed heavily, leaning against his body. You tucked your head into his shoulder and Bucky simply wrapped his arms around you. 
“Say you won’t leave again,” You whispered.
“I won’t leave you ever again, doll.”
+
The next day you awoke beside Bucky. You watched him as he slept peacefully, his hand over his shirtless chest and his chest slowly rising and falling. That “just this once” had turned into four times which you were sure he was happy with. You had to admit that you didn’t have that morning-after regret that you expected. Bucky had done such horrible things to you and yet he managed to bring you joy like no other. 
You hated that you ran back after resisting for so long but, without Peter, you were once again feeling completely lost. Being with Bucky reminded you of simpler times and, despite the hell you knew it would bring, it was worth it just to feel that comfort. 
Suddenly, you heard commotion coming from downstairs, glass shattering and Steve’s booming voice traveled through the air. You shook Bucky awake as you  began to throw on some clothes, “Bucky, something’s going on!” You threw on some boots and Bucky put on a t-shirt before the two of you filed out of your room. 
You heard your little girl wailing and you followed the sound. You found the front door wide open and quickly ran out of it. As you moved down the porched steps, the sight before you stopped your heart. Steve was holding Margot in one hand and a pistol in the other. A pistol that was pointing at a begging and pleading Sharon. 
Bucky tried to grab your hand but you ran towards him, “Steve, what the hell are you doing?” Your eyes widened even more as you noticed that Margot had no clothes on except for a checkered dishtowel and her skin was wet.
Steve handed you the child but kept the gun pointed at the woman. By now, everyone had filed out of their homes and were watching the chaos, “She tried to drown our baby,” Was all he said, shaking with anger. 
“I-I would never!” Sharon shouted back, her hands up as she laid on the gravel, “Please-”
“I fucking saw you!” Steve shouted back and you felt Bucky’s arm pulling you away. You stepped back with him, knowing that if the gun went off that you didn’t want Margot anywhere near it. 
Your eyes connected with Sharon’s and there was only pure hatred there. She didn’t even look sorry for what she was being accused of, “I was helping! I was taking care of her! You know me, Steve!”
Steve didn’t believe her and you hated that you didn’t either. Was she really capable of something like this? All because of jealousy? Jealousy over a life that you didn’t even want. 
“You weren’t even supposed to be in my house!” You watched as Steve cocked the gun, “You’re lucky I walked in when I did. If you had gotten away with hurting my little Margaret, I would’ve dismembered you piece by piece and I would've enjoyed it. Consider this a blessing.”
“Steve, don’t-” You pressed yourself into Bucky, trying to protect the crying child in your arms as the gun went off and the blonde woman fell limp. 
Steve tucked the weapon into his belt, his muscle still tense, as he tried not to contain whatever emotions were coursing through him, “Early start today. Everyone get to work!” Steve shouted to every citizen who was listening, “And get her body off my fucking street!”
Silence fell over the small town of Liberty. 
+
Hope you enjoyed! Let me know your thoughts and predictions!
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slythraco · 3 years
Note
I love tour work sm! Please could you do a sfw alphabet for Tom?
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Author’s note: yeees omg !!! I’ve been waiting for this one ! Turn in up ! 😂 (thank you for your compliment btw, means the world to me ❤️)
Masterlist 
_____________
A = Attraction (how do they show their attracted to you?)
Compliments, a lot of them, all the time. He wants you to feel like the most beautiful thing in the world and it started before you even started dating. He was just so pleased by your smile when he was complimenting you so he never stopped since then.
He also tease you a lot, but it’s never in a rude way, as a genuine funny men it’s really just in his nature to annoy the persons he likes so he always make a little fun of you before making himself apologise to you by complimenting you. It’s his way of having your intention.
B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/why not?)
It’s a big YES ! You actually talked about it really seriously and considered having a family in a close future. Partly because Tom is already 33 years old so he don’t want to wait to much but also just because he knows you would do an amazing mother at his side.
Not that he wants to put pressure on you but he does talks about it a lot and likes to give slight clues that he wants to make a baby with you really soon. It’s actually a matter of time before you start expanding the family.
C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)
Tom’s favorite activity with you is probably it, he could spend his life cuddling with you. Something he loves to do is laying on the couch, his head on your lap as you play with his hair while you’re watching tv. He easily fall asleep in this position which can’t help but making your heart melt every time.
He also loves to lay in bed with you while you read your favorite book. You’ll have you head on his chest and it will be his turn to play with your hair or caress your skin, never failing to give you goosebumps.
D = Dates (What are dates like with them?)
Really cheesy and romantic, one thing he loves to do is prepare surprise meal so you’ll get back from work and discover the whole house decorated in a romantic ambiance. Candles, roses, warm light and Tom in his best costume. Than you’ll share the meal he either spent the whole day making and almost burn the house at least 3 times or pay someone to do it, but it’s always delicious anyway.
One day he brought you to a fairground and you both went back in childhood for a night it was magical ! One of your best date with Tom.
E = Emotions (Do they express their emotions? If so, how?)
Yes ! Tom is a very emotional person and you’re the only one that even if he wanted to, couldn’t hide they’re feeling. He’s also a really authentic person so if he’s happy he will smile and laugh with you but if he’s sad he won’t be scared to cry if front of you because he feels safe enough around you.
F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love)
One day he was just looking at you while you were telling him about your day while cuddling on the couch like you both love to do, and it just hit him, he realised how he loves to just sit and look at your beautiful face. He could listen to your voice for the rest of his life.
G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)
Yes, he’s the most gentle person in the world. Every time he touches you it’s always super soft and loving. He loves to caress your skin and never falling to give you chills down your spine.
He’s also super gentle in his words, he always careful of what he says to not hurt you or say something you could take wrongly.
H = Hands (Do they hold hands? If so, how?)
Yes, all the time, but literally ALL THE TIME. He just need to feel you hand in yours, so outside when you’re walking together he takes you hand, when you’re sitting on the couch, he takes your hand, even in public when there’s paparazzi following you around he takes your hand to make sure everyone knows you’re his.
Btw, Interlacing your fingers together is a must for him.
I = Impression (What was their first impression of you?)
The first thing he noticed about you is your smile, you directly seems like a sympathetic person which he loved. So he had a really good impression of you.
J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)
A little bit, like every relationship there’s always a bit of jealous when a guy compliment you a little too much but he genuinely trust you so you are not the person to make him jealous.
K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who intiated the first kiss?)
Kissing Tom is always soft, passionate and just full of love. Also, you do it all the time, it’s like he can’t get enough of your lips, he could kiss them for hours if he didn’t need to breath to survive.
He’s the one who kissed you first, he just couldn’t control himself anymore that night so he kissed you in a passionate and hungry kiss and let me tell you, it was the best kiss of your two lives.
L = Love language (What are their love languages?)
Affection, Tom gives you a lot of affection, he wants you to feel loved and appreciated. He likes to cover you with kisses all over your skin, or hug you for hours. He’ll never get enough of feel your body against his.
M = Mornings (Are they a morning person? What are they like in the morning?)
Definitely not a morning person, it takes him ages to wake up, you usually have to return in your room a few times for him to actually wake up. And when he’s up, he’s really grumpy and slow in his movement, it’s funny and cute to see and you love to annoy him in the mornings.
N = Nickel (Do they spoil you? Do they buy the person they love everything?)
Yes ! Your smile, is the most precious thing to him and he just love to see it when he buys you something. But, Tom offer gifts pretty rarely, one occasion like your birthday, Valentine’s Day, any important day in your couple and maybe a few times between them. But when he offers something it’s always full of meaning !
Like, one time he bought you a shelf necklace because one day, when you were at the beach without him, you took a shelf and brought it back to offer it to him.
O = Open (Do they say everything about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or overtime?)
Tom is a really open person, very talkative so even before you two were dating he already like to talk about his life considering the fact that he had a pretty crazy one. But it’s was mostly about his work and anecdotes on set etc. When he started catching feeling for you he felt comfortable enough to talk to you about more personal things like his past relationships or the problems he struggled with in the past and he just got you two even more close.
P = Patience (Do they have patience? Are they angered easily?)
Tom is the most patient guy on earth, You often wonder how he puts up with you. He needs a lot to get angry at you or anyone else, this is something you’re really wanting to learn from him.
Q = Quaint (What’s their favorite non modern thing to do?)
Take Polaroid pictures, he has that old camera that he carries everywhere and he takes photos of every moment he feels like to picture. He stock his photos in a little hidden box, sometimes you two like to open it again and just remember memories you made together. The pictures are mostly you and willow or him with you.
Your favorite picture is one you took the first night you slept at his house, you can see the naked man being the goofy Tom he is by walking out of the shower with a “hat” made of bubble from the bath you took together. It was hilarious and you two always laugh when you see the images.
R = Remember (What’s their favorite moment in the relationship?)
The first time you told him: “I love you” ! You said it without even realising it, it truly came from your heart and it surprised the both of us but it was such a important moment for Tom that he will never forget it.
S = Security (How protective are they?)
Tom is really protective, he cares about your security a lot and always gets worried when you’re about to do something dangerous and he only calms down when you’re safe again.
T = Talking (what do they like to talk about?)
Everything and anything as long as it means talking to you but the two subject he could talk for hours are dogs and music. You can sit in front of him and just nod a couple time without even responding and he would go on a full conversation about the different breeds of dogs and how they are amazing. And honestly it’s super cute to look at him all excited and passionate about these two subjects.
U = Ugly (Whats a bad habit of theirs?)
Does Tom even have defaults ? Oh yeah, He loves to devalue himself, for absolutely no reason. This breaks your heart every time and always comfort him so that he can love himself more. He’s so perfect to you that sometimes you don’t understand why he’s so hard on himself.
V = Vaunt (Do they like to show you off?
Yes...all the time, the little smile on his face every time he present you as his girlfriend is just too adorable. Then he would talk to everyone about amazing you are and how lucky he is to have you in his life. He’s just proud of himself and proud of your union.
W = Whole (Do they feel incomplete without you?)
Tom is a different person without you. When he has to leave to a set for a movie he looks a little sad. He misses you every time you’re not together and always count the days before retrieving you.
X = Xylophone (What’s a song that reminds of your guy’s relationship?)
It will rain - Bruno Mars
Z = Zzz (Are they a heavy or a light sleeper ?)
Heavy sleeper for sure, like said before you have to shake him up a few times before he actually make up so yeah. He loud snores can testify it !
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theclearwaters · 3 years
Note
I’m deadass intrigued by your entire writing process so for the writing ask (https://theclearwaters.tumblr.com/post/661590088067776512/send-an-ask-get-to-know-your-author)…. 1-25 if u have time? -teamjacobthot
Always time for my fave <3
(Disclaimer: Story of my life, I didn't proof read a damn thing.)
1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?
Whew. Recently I’d been holding off writing anything for Between Who You Are for a lot of reasons: generally feeling rubbish, home life, work life, but there were times when I’d pull my shit together for five minutes and open up my drafts and just not be able to pump anything out (or even do any editing) because of the reactions I was getting. I always kind of assumed that if people didn’t like what they were reading then they would just mark it as DNF, but some were carrying on regardless and sending messages/leaving comments and reviews that went beyond constructive criticism. And I just didn’t want to subject myself to that, and it obviously stopped me from enjoying it. Then I did a few collabs with one of my best mates (Hyacinthed, who is an a m a z i n g author and editor, go check her out and give her all the love for being just about the only Leah/Quil shipper in the world) and she also offered to beta a few chapters of BWYA. She even said she'll ghost write a few chapters, which just blows my mind. That, and really kind comments from other readers has definitely helped get my mojo back.
2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
Probably fics from when I was deeeeeeep in my Merlin phase about 10 years ago. I ignore them on FFn and I’ve moved them to another pseud on AO3 :’)
3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?
Usually ‘front to back’ but I often have a side-doc running for jotting down scenes that hit me out the blue. The ‘scenes/outtakes/archive’ doc I have for BWYA is leaning slightly on the diabolical side, currently standing at around 12k. Half of that will probably never see the light of day.
4) favorite character you’ve written
L E A H M F K N C L E A R W A T E R
5) character you were most surprised to end up writing
Sam, probably. I dislike him/her in both universes but their POV makes for great angst, and the reviews/comments that result from their chapters is always entertaining when people get out the pitchforks.
6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now
In terms of writing style, nothing much because it’s all been a massive learning curve. But if we’re talking about within a story, probably the way I began BWYA because it gives me such a headache sometimes. I’d probably stop myself from committing to the canon timeline and would have long since finished it by now!
7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?
Not so much embarrassed, and far from enthusiastic, but only a handful of people know. My mum knows but has no idea what any of it is about (she just calls it “your stories”, but is still super supportive) and the majority of other people who know are friends I don’t get to see too often and/or who write too.
8) favorite genre to write
Angst angst angst angst angst
9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?
Reading!
10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?
Mostly background noise, like the telly or music. Sometimes people are around, but usually alone.
11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?
Actually following a plotline/structuring things and taking notes. Years back (in the Merlin phase) I used to be all over the place and would stick random scenes in that I thought were cute and fluffy, but really they were there for my own entertainment and added nothing to the story at all. Probably lost me more than a few readers along the way.
12) your weaknesses as an author
Repetition and wordiness. Often while editing I'll have to axe a few hundred words and will spend the whole process with my head in a thesaurus.
13) your strengths as an author
Oof, I’m not sure. People leave positive comments about character development, so maybe that. Also angst and pacing.
14) do you make playlists for your current wips?
Friend, I have playlists for my playlists.
15) why did you start writing?
When I was 12 or so, I had made a friend in secondary school who’d started writing and wanted to practice. We used to write together on this website called GaiaOnline, which is actually where I met one of my best mates who lives in Canada (we started a Twilight roleplay together - I was Jacob!). That was about eight years ago. We fly back and forth to see each other :’)
16) are there any characters who haunt you?
L E A H M F K N C L E A R W A T E R. In the best way. (Unless I’ve left her abandoned for too long and there’s a story niggling away at me until I can’t sleep and have to get something on paper.)
17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?
Stop trying to impress other people - it’ll save yourself a headache and you’ll get more done!
18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?
I spent months and months binge reading and re-reading everything written by Sarah J Maas which undoubtedly left its mark - and not necessarily a good one. Her repetition and one-line paragraphs drive me up the bleeding wall, but still I find myself doing it sometimes. An unconscious habit I have yet to break.
19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?
Gdocs is my best pal. I create timelines for each fic (BWYA’s timeline is absurd) and note when in that timeline each chapter occurred, often with a few words to summarise major plot points. I don’t have too much trouble keeping track with characters because the majority of what I write at the moment is Twilight and the characters (the Pack!) have become second nature. I don’t have to reference anything too much for them.
20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?
Recently it’s been little spurts, but when preparing to edit/post I usually have to set aside an evening to work on it for a few hours, if not more.
21) what do you think when you read over your older work?
Delete delete delete. I know a few authors who have completely purged their old works in the name of growth/improvement but I’m not quite there yet. Most I’ve done is move stuff on AO3 to another pseud so it’s not glaringly obvious that this Arthur/Merlin shipper was beyond obsessed.
22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?
Smut probably. Although not so much uncomfortable, but more because it’s such a slow process for me and I get super frustrated that I can never seem to make it work the way I imagine it… which is probably a waste of time because I never post it anyway. There’s not a lot of topics that make me uncomfortable (nothing that I’ve tried yet, anyway), but if there was something then I’d probably change things up to avoid dealing with it.
23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?
It probably can’t be called obscure, but maybe being a bit of a target for bullies when I was in school helped because it meant I was mostly always on the computer during free time, writing and writing and writing. Sob story alert. But it definitely helped and gave me a hell of a lot of time to improve.
24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?
I’ve pretty much devoured anything and everything I can get my hands on about indigenous peoples, especially the Quileutes. Wouldn’t call myself an expert but I’ve definitely learned a lot from what information is available about them. Also America in general -- maps, lingo, you name it. I’m not sure what people would do if I made the Pack a bit British and had them saying ‘blimey’ and ‘bloody’ all the time (because I do).
25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of
It’s not short but… This is from a Jacob/Leah drabble series I started which I’ve always loved. Maybe one day I’ll be able to make this one into a series: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12860435/7/The-Jacob-and-Leah-Drabbles
The Cullen mansion is boarded up, the last of their belongings and cars shipped this morning.
His own worldly possessions fit into one red toolbox and one single duffle bag, both of which once belonged to Billy. Understandably, the duffle bag is in worse shape than the toolbox; it's fraying at the seams and looking extremely sorry for itself on the passenger seat beside him whilst he waits impatiently for the convoy to roll out.
Nessie had wanted to ride along with him, and he'd instantly hated himself when he'd told her no. Leaving La Push — leaving Washington — is a pretty big fucking deal, and driving away from it . . . This feels like something he needs to do on his own.
He hadn't been able to explain it in a way that Nessie would stop asking questions, and even now she is still upset with him. Fifteen minutes ago, he'd tried to reason with her that driving alone was kind of like how she'd needed to say goodbye to every single room in the freakin' house — fourteen fucking rooms he'd had to walk through, twice — but, in spite of his imprint's otherworldly intelligence, he knows that she's still having trouble fully understanding what he had said.
(Maybe he's the stupid one. He's joining a coven of bloodsuckers, after all.)
"But we did that together," Nessie said plaintively.
Because you asked me to, had been the response he couldn't voice. But it hurts to hurt her, so he couldn't — can't say these things. He will never be able to say these things.
The only person who seemed to understand was Bella, and thankfully she'd managed to coerce Nessie into their black Mercedes instead.
(If his former best friend didn't smell like acid then he might have hugged her properly — not the now-normal one-armed hugs and fleeting kisses on her head which still make his stomach roll. Whatever. He's working on it.)
Jacob drums his fingers on the steering wheel, and finally, finally, the last of them are piling into their vehicles and that marvellous Jeep of Emmett's is roaring and—
"Wait!"
As soon as he hears that voice Jacob is leaping out of the Rabbit, as shocked as the bloodsuckers its owner has bolted past without acknowledging. Then he sees the backpack bouncing on her back, the relief in her eyes that she's not too late, and hope sparks.
Leah throws herself at him. He opens his arms to catch her without a second thought.
"I know what you have to do," she says quietly against his ear, breathless and trembling as her nails dig into his shoulders, "and I understand, Jake, I do, but — please. You don't have to do this on your own."
And he knows then, right there, because he's able to taste it on his tongue; he feels it settling in his heart, deep in his bones: nobody will ever love him as much as Leah Clearwater does.
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jeanslongschlong · 3 years
Text
a-z fluff alphabet for connie springer
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requested by @squidonmywall​ !! i hope you enjoy <3
warnings: some swearing
word count: 1871
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Your sense of humor! Connie is a really funny guy, so it means a lot to him that you can match his energy at all times. He doesn’t believe in soulmates, but he’s starting to think that maybe, just maybe…
B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)
Your cheeks! Connie LOVES to pinch them, caress them, kiss them, and so on. He makes it his life mission to make you blush, as seeing the red tint on your cheeks makes pride swell up in him over the fact that he made you have that reaction. He also loves when- jk, we’re keeping this PG here. I’ll expand more on this when I do his NSFW alphabet.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Under lots of blankets and on top of lots of pillows. But he will cuddle with you anywhere and everywhere; Connie is not shy about PDA with you.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
I get extremely romantic vibes from Connie, so probably some sort of mountain getaway, during which you spend time in a sauna, go skiing, and have a candlelit dinner with the breathtaking view of the snow-tipped mountains in the background. I can assure you he will do everything in his power to make you swoon, and (more likely than not) CRINGE at some of his cheesy attempts at flirting. He may be a romantic, but I never said anything about being smooth. That is a whole other story.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Connie is pretty open about his emotions with everyone, but even more so with you. You just make him feel so comfortable, he knows that no matter what he’s feeling you won’t judge him; you’ll try your hardest to sympathize and help him work through it. That’s another thing he loves about you, your empathy.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
CONNIE WANTS LIKE FIVE KIDS AND YOU CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND. In any case, he only wants them if you want them of course. He isn’t going to force you into something you don’t want. However, I would say that it could be a deal breaker for him…but it just depends. If you do want to have kids as well, I’d say he wants to start having them around 24/25.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
HE LOVES GIVING GIFTS. I don’t think he has a lot of money so they probably aren’t expensive ones, but expect a bunch of small things randomly. He doesn’t need a holiday to buy you a gift, he just does it whenever he feels like it (which is almost always LMFAO he’s such a sweetie I am in love).
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
All the time. Everywhere. Everyday. He holds onto your hand like it’s his fucking LIFELINE. (please I simp for this man so much he is so precious help)
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Simply put, he would cry. Similar to Eren, he would most likely shut down, overwhelmed by the panic and regret that washes over him when someone informs him of your injury. He would be so patient and loving during your recovery period, though. If you were staying in a hospital room he would give you his pudding cups during dinnertime.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Obviously Connie likes to joke, he’s one of the funniest characters in AOT. However, pranks? Nah. Not alone, at least. Teamed up with Sasha is a whole other story. But I don’t think they’d be anything serious. If he did prank you, it would be like…hiding a whoopie cushion on the couch where you normally sit, not a breakup prank or a cheating prank. He thinks those are too cruel and he would feel wayyyy too bad about it.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Lowkey…I feel like he gives wet and sloppy kisses. But the type that make you feel warm inside. Kissing him brightens your whole day, they’re so infused with love that you could faint.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
Words, gifts, kisses, random hugs, cuddles, you name it. He makes it VERY KNOWN in every way possible that he loves you. He is not embarrassed about it at all, and he makes sure you don’t forget it.
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
Your first date. He stuttered so bad and yet you didn’t make fun of him. That’s when he knew that he had it BAD for you. He went home and literally couldn’t sleep he was so overwhelmed with affection for you.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
He’s afraid that his forwardness will eventually scare you away. He’s so open about everything, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are, so he’s afraid that one day he will overstep his boundaries and drive you away permanently.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
French kissing is a no-no. Even though his kisses are wet and sloppy, I really think that the thought of your tongues in each other’s mouths gross him out. I think the same goes for Levi, too, if I’m being honest.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Angel, my love, my dearest. THIS BOY IS SO CHEESY BUT IT MELTS YOU
“You’re so pretty, angel. How the hell did I manage to get a girlfriend as heavenly as you?”
(And then you probably made fun of him and you two double over in the type of laughter that makes your stomach cramp. Oh, to be loved by Connie.)
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
A lot, quality time is his love language, second to gift giving. If he had it his way, the only time he would be away from you is when he was at work, at school, or going to the bathroom. Otherwise, he wants to be all up in your business. But, he respects your space so he tries to refrain from asking you to hang out every day. Key word: tries.
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
“Two” by Sleeping At Last. No explanation needed.
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
He tells you everything, even things you think ‘god, why did he tell me that?’ afterwards. SO, he tells you everything. He keeps nothing from you, which makes surprising you SUPER hard for him LMAO. He just wants to tell you as soon as he possibly can.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
Not very long. 3 months at most. This boy can’t wait LOL he has 0 patience. He knew he wanted to make you his even before you had your first date, but he waited to give you time to think about what you wanted. (Although how could you not want him??? FR)
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
Super supportive. He will be whatever you need him to be. If you need to scream at him to let out all of your frustration? He’ll let you. If you need him to hold a pillow for you to punch while you’re angry? Consider him your new punching bag. If you need him to just hold you and stroke your hair while you cry? He’ll do it. Anything for you.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
He’s honestly just so happy that you love him. He loves to show you off; he tells anyone who will listen how amazing you are, how beautiful you are, how he’s convinced that if soulmates did exist, you’d be his.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
Like Eren, Connie would lay down his life for you in a heartbeat. He gets a little scared when he thinks about you fighting, but he knows that you’d be fine, so he never really voices that fear.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
Pretty damn well. He’s not dumb, he can tell when you’re actually mad and when you’re just crabby because you haven’t eaten. He’s memorized all of the indicators that point towards how you’re feeling, and he’s always prepared to deal with it.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
SOOOOO ROMANTICALLY PLS IM GONNA SOB THINKING ABOUT IT.
This is the only secret that I feel he would successfully keep from you; he wants to make it as special as possible (which is quite the opposite of Eren LOL). He would take you on a walk near sunset, and would time it so perfectly that you would end up at the place you first met right when the sun starts to set.
The sky is filled with picturesque shades of pinks, yellows, reds, and oranges, and you stop for a moment to gape in astonishment at its beauty. He admires you as you stare at the sky, your hand held to your forehead to shield your eyes from the brunt of the sun’s mighty rays, your eyes filled with such bewilderment that it warms him from the inside out. He takes this moment to kneel down onto one knee, reaching back to fish out the black ring box he had put in his pockets a few hours before.
“Y/N…” he says softly, trying to get your attention. You turn around, expecting him to make fun of you for being so infatuated with the colors of the sky, but instead let out a strangled gasp.
“Holy shit, are you-“
“Yes,” he smiles up at you and reaches out with his left hand to grasp your right. He gives your hand a loving squeeze, sucks in a breath, then continues, “I knew from the moment we met here all of those years ago that I was going to marry you. You know how I knew?” You shake your head no. “The moment our eyes met, I was filled with such a sense of completion that there was no other way to explain it. I’ve told you many times that I don’t believe in soulmates, that I think it’s just a shanty created by the romance genre to create unrealistic expectations when it comes to love. But…I’m now thoroughly convinced that you are mine.”
“Connie, I-“
“Marry me.”
“Yes.”
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
Taking a nap with you under a thick blanket. He loves to be held by you, so preferably with him on top of you, your arms wrapped tightly around him and him using your stomach as a pillow. Prime sleeping position for Connie Springer.
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Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans
Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?
the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M
the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite
broken record by spunknbite, rated E
the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”
literally everything by stitchy
like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 
the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E
ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10
let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E
OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah
a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E
another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat
keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T
angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing
collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E
a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.
the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E
this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must
brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E
27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.
let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M
speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!
walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T
unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 
in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E
post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates
pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E
high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending
like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M
adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute
no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E
richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk
a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E
another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic
adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T
AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart
the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T
eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.
now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E
it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves
signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T
one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT
broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E
back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately
eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M
for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it
love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E
okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?
the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E
eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time
richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M
a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up
september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T
cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites
go west by ssstrychnine, rated T
road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again
the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M
character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic
circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M
soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible
tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E
college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 
predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E
i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read
there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long
feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!
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