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10piecechickenmcnugget · 1 year

Note

Still writing out my thoughts about Dogwarts, but I'm returning the favor anyways.

I wanna here all your thoughts about Purpled and Wilbur. Or whoever you're most interested in.

You're letting me talk about characters I like, I'm letting you do the same :D

FUCK YEAH

(@dewberries-sillyblog cause you wanted to learn more about my blorbos)

under the cut cause this is gonna be L O N G

(split into sections so I can “organize” my thoughts) Purpled: my stupid ass traumatized alien son he’s a bastard and I hate him (/j)

Early SMP: alien boy. he doesn’t know what he’s doing he is simply fucking around and finding out adopting a dog and gathering resources. just living life having a funky fresh time

he and tommyinnit fucking HATE each other they chased each other around and murdered each other for like over and hour fundy broke into his house and stole his shit he bargained with Tommy for his own stuff for like 10 minutes and went to court but just snuck out the back (??? idk he’s wild)

fundy built the socializing club to resolve their arguments and purpled booby trapped it and stole everyone’s shit cause he’s just like that

L’Manberg War(s): he dabbled in lmanberg shit my guy had no idea what the fuck was going on all the god damn time he was so confused bro was literally just standing there one time he say ccrimeboys (who were exiled from lmanberg and were absolutely not supposed to be there) and he (a member of lmanberg) decided to just ignore them cause he can’t be bothered to give a shit he literally allowed Technoblade to causally boat home after he massacred everyone at the festival and murdered Tubbo he has zero fucks to give

✨intermission✨: he disappeared for several months and no one knew what was up with that

the following is not in chronological order cause I forgor

but Bad hired him to kidnap/kill Puffy and he was basically like “yeah sure fuck it” and I think he did the thing?? I don’t remember anyways he was kinda working for the Eggpire for a bit and then Quackity was like hey wanna work for me instead to betray them (he attracted his attention by threatening to blow up his UFO talk about foreshadowing) and purpled once again went yeah sure fuck it and betrayed the Eggpire for the money and Quackity did his whole “wait don’t go in yet let the shark guy die” and then they saved everyone and yadda yadda yadda “you’re a hero purpled” “I try my best”

Aftermath: we all know this part purpled is like okay bitch boy pay up and Quackity makes small talk gives him his money and then destroys his entire life right in front of him good times they yell at each other for a bit and Purpled storms off in silence to go be sad

He goes back to his stupid little cottage and is even sadder for a while and then Mr Charlie Slimecicle gaslights him for 30 minutes and he decides to join las nevadas (he’s lying about wanting to be there)

he hangs around lying to people for a bit and then sets up his overdramatic lava trap and yells at Quackity some more and then kills his bf for revenge cause that’s what they do on this server I fucking guess

he kidnaps slimes dead body and holds it captive in a cave purely just to kill him again and then Punz shows up and manipulates him a bit and Dream is there also

they show up gaslight slime bulky Quackity blow shit up purpled and Quackity yell at each other some more and then slime reveals HE was gaslighting everyone the whole time and fucking kills purpled (L + ratio)

then there’s the whole “you’re not a good person” but idc about that sorry quackcicle enjoyers

and then that’s kinda it man idk the whole ass smp ended

Random ramblings: purpled is a petty bastard and I hate him that bitch is full of improperly processed trauma (thank you icarus appollosboyfriend for that quote) and he hates everyone and he only kills people for the money cause he just wants money and power (and friends he just wants to go home) but he only accepts jobs from people he trusts and he’s a stupid bitch and he’s mean and absolutely will insult your mother but your honor he’s just a silly little guy simply a funky little lad and he just lies to people constantly he’s so funny and every time I think about him I go insane

now.

Wilbur. Motherfucking. Soot:

I am mentally ill about him I legitimately get sad often over him he has brought me close to tears unironically multiple times this is a common occurrence I have so much autism about him I’m such a basic bitch 😔

there’s no organization to this part I’m just going to go insane for several paragraphs:

HES SO SAD my boy is struggling constantly 24/7 he has had shit brain chemicals his whole life and he pretends he’s fine cause he has to be fine but he’s literally been putting up a persona the entire smp I just ajrhjabdbwjsj

he’s just a little guy ur honor who wanted to start a little nation for his friends and he tried SO HARD to keep the peace and let everyone live but people continuously fucked him over until he thought he HAD to resort to violence

he has so much trauma and he ignores all of it he’s so stressed all the time and he got beat to death with an axe after his friend betrayed him and and and

and fucking SCHLATT took his country his fucking country from him and kicked him out and his stupid ass lived in a ravine for god knows how long and he developed more mental illnesses then he already had

he legitimately thought everyone hated him and was only staying for the power and wholeheartedly believed that they would leave him if someone else offered something better and he was so scared all the time he was NOT living la vida loca and he just fucking lied about it all the time cause he’s an idiot

and he finally snapped and he was going to press the damn button and his fucking dad showed up and he had made up his mind he was going to die and he was taking lmanberg down with him so he did just that (assisted suicide babyyyyyy)

and don’t even get me started on ghostbur (that’ll come later)

then he fucking died and LIMBO oh my lordy lord he was alone in literal sensory deprivation torture for THIRTEEN AND A HALF YEARS holy motherfuck he lost his fucking mind in there he was not doing well that’s for fucking sure

then his bitch ass got revived and dear god did a lot happen while he was gone and he put on another goddamn persona because he’s fine guys!! he had time to think over everything while he was dead he’s perfectly fine he’s processed all his trauma he’s so much better now he definitely isn’t doing worse he’s fine guys !!! :D (he’s lying)

and one time he tried to explode dream with his mind so that was a thing and also threatened to kill himself despite being apparently happy to be alive again and absolutely fucking terrified of going back to limbo so anyways he still hates himself so that’s a thing

he and Quackity had a homoerotic rivalry and then he went to fucking. Utah so that happened

I’m fucking insane about cwilbur I cannot articulate this to you correctly but I cannot stress enough how feral he makes me

NOW ghostbur I’m insane about him too he’s an amnesiac and he’s so sad all the time and he still hates himself cause ‘alivebur’ hates himself and he considers PERMADYING a happy memory and he can only remember good things and H A T E S talking about his mental health or anything remotely sad and he’s just a little lad with his sheep and he just wants to make people happy and oughhhhhhhhh. anyways how are you guys doing :)

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cindersnows · 1 year

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Is there more info 'bout the jsab au?

It's so good I want to know more

I CANNOT BELIEVE I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO REPLY TO THIS (JAN 2)

okay since i doubt i'm ever going to make the comic i might as well drop all the plot i remember

just a note i'm not sure how much you know about ava/m because i have gotten my fair share of reblogs from people only in the jsab fandom; but i'm going to assume you know the characters at least the story was going to be: red, green, yellow and blue are the "players" (which in this story are just regular guys). they live on this super sci-fi moon world with androids and stuff. the Giant Life Tree, called yggdrasil (inspo from an old friend) is like yk. the thing that gives all shapes life. shapes would still be born without it, and they could live without it, it's just sort of the "electricity" that keeps the entire moon running and alive. without yggdrasil, all the plant matter n stuff would die. of course the shapes are advanced enough that they've developed ways for everyone to live even without any plant matter, but it's still a bit awkward. their society has no actual 'Rulers' persay, but used to have a royal family. the second coming and the chosen one are brothers who are descended from that royal family.

the actual story's plot; the prologue of Ad Lumen would start off with rgyb exploring and stuff because they like to spend time just fuckin around and looking for cool things. they go into this cave, and hear second calling for help. they free second, who has lost all his memory, and promise to help him regain it. suddenly the dark lord bursts into the cave and starts attacking rgyb, and the four run away with second. (he was actually here to find and save second, and attacked rgyb because he thought they were hurting second) chapter 1 would have a year or so timeskip. and then something about dark and chosen taking yggdrasil because they believe chosen has like, the rightful heritage to the throne and that society needs to be united under one rulership again or something. idk rgyb and second get split up (and from here it gets super vague bc i didnt plan out a ton); rgyb have to go and find second because he was taken into the castle by dark. they follow chosen into the volcano (chosen is there to find one of the pieces of yggdrasil because it broke apart). rgyb fights chosen and mentions second. chosen is like oh shit wait second is there??? and just zooms off to go to the castle rgyb turn around and go to the castle too, albeit through a different entrance. they find out dark is doing smth smth with yggdrasil idk --- which turns shapes pink/red and kind of aggressive but also stronger. (dark did this to himself too) second is being forced into the line of people that are going to be turned pink because dark doesn't yet realise second is in the castle --- if he knew that, then he'd get second out. rgyb find second, who's about to be pinkified or wtv, and red jumps in the way. now he's Actually red (and not just orange). brief fight because red's body cannot handle the process and she goes a little bit beserk but green, yellow, blue and second manage to calm them down. then the five go up to stop dark once and for all (peacefully). but once they get up there they see chosen and dark arguing which turns into a fight that catches color gang in the crossfire. dark uses a piece of yggdrasil, and stabs it into herself to gain more power to stop chosen. this goes horribly wrong, annihilate happens, dark goes insane and just destroys everything in vir path: aka red, green, yellow and blue die second gets really angry, and chosen and dark panic and stop fighting. but second has superpowers (re: descended from the royal family) and just goes absolutely apeshit and beats the shit out of dark. he also gets his memories back. he manages to revive rgyb before passing out and then the gang make up with chosen and dark once second explains what he's remembered. all of shape society comes together to agree that actually they do kind of need some sort of rulership (because prior to this everything was anarchy and it Wasn't Working) but we don't see that because the comic ends

i was also thinking about making a second part of the comic, Ad Astra, smth about king/mango tango and purple and victim. i didnt get super far with the idea tho: ik that king would be elected the new ruler, and purple his vice president (??) and they would be doing something bad with yggdrasil. color gang would be trying to convince everyone that king is doing something weird but no one except chosen and dark would believe them. purple would be an android (modeled by pink/orchid after the actual purple, who died as a kid fighting with navy). mango would be a shape. victim would be an android that mango found within the castle's old computer room, who hasn't been turned on in years and gives mango advice on stuff.

sadly i dont have any of the wip panels since theyre all on my old laptop, which broke :((

sorry for the super late response!!!! but here ya go. giant compilation of The Horrors, avjsab flavor

#asker probably forgot/doesnt care anymore oops #but i posted it either way!!!!#because i still get likes on the avjsab posts to this day #and i feel like The Public deserves to know #since i never did post the comic #animation vs animator #animator vs animation #animation vs minecraft #just shapes and beats #avm #ava #jsab #js&b #jsab au #ava au #i'm not tagging all those characters #ad lumen #got any grapes?

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grittyreadsfic · 3 years

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hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

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melonsmessymusings · 3 years

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Just seen a post about S6&S3 parallels and @rachaeljurassic made some super interesting points in the tags about Giles’ departure and how INFURIATING it is that I really want to expand upon, so I guess this one’s for you :) I get it, the mentor figure needs to be gotten out of the way in order to progress Buffy’s own arc, that’s fine. It narratively makes complete sense, but it was handled badly.

@rachaeljurassic suggested that maybe we could’ve gotten him out of the way with a coma. I vibe with that. Let’s have the head injuries catch up to him and have him totally incapacitated. Big battle, dire injuries, that works. We could still have Buffy spiralling after, but this time she’d be blaming herself because Giles got hurt as a result of her being the Slayer (even though he’d never blame her for it and it isn’t her fault except for like twice). That also works better because it would be more in character than having Giles go “I know you can’t even breathe right now but I’m gonna flake because you need to be a grown up. Even though when I was your age I was raising demons, doing dr*gs and having orgies so like lmao.” Plus, have a couple of gratuitous scenes of a very injured Giles being visited by someone to pepper throughout the season that were pre-recorded so we don’t get confused as to why they wouldn’t be sat there with him at least every now and then to make us cry. Imagine a scene with Buffy in a hospital room watching a ventilator force air into her Watcher to keep him alive and pouring her heart out because she’s terrified with no idea what to do and he always knew and she needs him and just cries. You could even have it where he’s like slowly deteriorating or something and Dark!Willow uses her magic to cure him so that would explain how he just got better and was like... fine.

I also love the idea of him having a total breakdown after Buffy’s death. I absolutely thrive off him becoming a completely numb droid (he probably was and only bothered to put on façade for the Scoobies but that’s for another day) and the Scoobies decided it’d be better for him to try and find a new purpose in life by sending him to England. We could’ve had like the first episode of them helping him settle with the Coven or something and it’d have been AWFUL to watch, but it would make sense and then when Buffy gets resurrected, they just don’t tell him and they tell Buffy that the grief killed him or something like that? idk... or having them explain that Giles isn’t Giles anymore and he’s doing better (because Tara gets updates from the Coven) but being in Sunnydale was killing him and they never told him that Buffy was resurrected. That wedges the group dynamic enough tbh and would cause Buffy to turn to Spike because he’d have had no clue about anything except that Giles had gone off the bloody rails big time and it was good he was away from this hellhole.

Family emergency? Let’s be honest, the Giles family are probably scum so I’d buy that way less but it’s still more convincing than what actually happened.

Another suggestion was having the Council snatch him. I also adore this. That would make sense. But let’s have them make it look like they killed him because I love that. So they send in a team, take him away but make it look like he’s been completely murdered.

My idea is that they put a glamour or something on a vampire to make it look like Giles (but the audience don’t know this yet) and so Buffy drops by and finds a body that is in every way identical to Giles in a destroyed apartment and just breaks and is like clutching at him or something and there’s blood and its horrendous. Then you could either have swoopy Council guys come in and take Giles away when he ‘wakes up’ as a vampire because “there’s a procedure to this Miss Summers” or have her stake him herself then and there because after Angelus she’s taking no chances. Could you imagine the emotional payoff of that? She then has to go and tell the others, who don’t believe her but they all see the apartment, bloodstains and pile of dust and they all have to cope with the grief of losing him throughout the season in addition to everything else.

But wait! There’s more. Travers ends the episode with a folder in front of him, a report from the team that carried out the operation and smiles saying something evil like “I warned her of dealing with grown ups” so the audience all thinks that Giles got offed by the Council.

BUT REALLY Giles was taken and held in a like prison facility thing, very much alive. Then we get like a showdown of Giles chained to a chair in this cell being forced to watch the video footage of the whole operation and Travers telling him that it’s over and his oh so precious Slayer will end up killing herself with guilt/grief and the Council can have a new start because they’re going to off Faith too. And the last shot is Giles crying in a dank hole.

As far as the audience goes: imagine having Giles showing up at the end of S6 if THAT had been the departure? It’s already an “AAAAAHHHHHH HOLY SHIT!” moment but it’d be magnified tenfold. Then Buffy being completely confused because “I killed you!” then having that moment when she ends up hugging him and he’s warm and breathing and not dead. And Dark!Willow being really confused but trying to kill him anyway because if he was alive all this time why didn’t he come back? That’s when we get the scene with Giles watching what happened on the monitor. Everyone is confused and Giles explains that the Council kept him in one of their facilities and now Buffy feels sick because she’s like “they tortured you... for months!” and Giles is like “Well yeah but it’s fine because I’m here now and I’m so sorry for abandoning you all.” Still can have Evil Willow being evil and Xander saving the day. I don’t care that much but we could’ve had this worked in.

Because the Council would’ve tortured him for fun. Not necessarily physically but they would’ve paraded him around as the example of what happens if you don’t toe the line. They could’ve completely humiliated him and it caused like cracks in the Council because some of them hate that Travers is abusing his power like this on one of their own and others finding it good that such a strong message is being sent. At which point, Travers would give the order for the Special Ops team to start the beatings. Of course, Giles is used to having the seven bells kicked out of him, but to be used as a training dummy by other human beings? They’d practice on him and that’s as far as I think the physical side of it would go, the rest would be mental/emotional torture. Or having hexes/curses tested on him and all the while, Giles genuinely wants them to kill him because everyone he cares about already thinks he’s dead so it makes no difference if it’s the reality. All the while, he’s being kept vaguely up to date with the events of Sunnydale so that he can hear how his Slayer is edging closer into just giving up and it breaks his heart. So Giles spent a year either being locked in a cell translating texts or being used as a punchbag to teach the S.O. team how to interrogate people. That’s how I see it going anyway. We could’ve seen like flashbacks of parts of it in S7 or something idk.

That would explain why he’s so distant in S7. Because he was kept prisoner for almost a year by the people who practically raised him (because the Council kind of did) and how that would mess anyone up and the First tormenting him about how he should’ve gone through with any attempts to end it instead of being a coward because Buffy doesn’t need him and she already thought he was dead.

I dunno if this is actually what you were going for but it’s where my mind went and it would’ve given Tony Head something really juicy to do by playing a slightly crazed version of Giles who freaks out if there’s more than five people in the room because a year of living on your own in the dark drove him mad. He would’ve completely nailed it. Way better than sitting there going, “I’m headed back to England, and I plan to stay indefinitely”. Ugh we were robbed.

#btvs #rupert giles #s6 has a few unforgivable moments and this is one of them #rachaeljurrassic this is for you #sorry im such a crackhead #meta #alternative s6 giles departures #i have an armada of them tbh

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honorable-wanderings · 3 years

Text

Word of Honor - Episode 3 Part 1 - Someone finally eats their damn food

FUCKING FINALLY OMG

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Why is the rum always gone?

It’s because you’re an alcoholic, Dear.

Lucky for you I’m an enabler

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Why y’all gotta drag me into your gross flirting? Disgusting

Ah don’t worry! I’ll help! I’ll help with anything! Let me be helpful! Please I beg of you!

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I like you. You like me?

No.

How bout now?

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Don’t you fuckin’ touch me.

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I don’t know why but like in just about any context someone smelling their fingers is just a tiny bit gross.

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A beautiful person is beautiful regardless of what life and the world has done to them. An woman made homely by long suffering is no less beautiful than a princess whose hands were made to touch nothing harder than water.

Learn some respect.

That being said it ain’t life that made you ugly. Take off the damn mask! Let me sneak a peek! ;)

You couldn’t fucking handle it.

Oh yeah? Fucking prove it.

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So what’d y’all do to piss off the Ghost Valley? Asking for a friend and I definitely don’t know the answer. I don’t even know who they are. Ghost Valley? That sounds made up.

But what did you do to piss them off?

I don’t know and honestly I don’t give a FUCK. About anything. Except wine. And sleep. Let me get drunk and go to bed. Please. Rest. I crave rest.

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There’s a weird children’s rhyme floating around *ahem*

RING AROUND THE ROSIE

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A bunch of sects got their sacred texts stolen and shoved into a cave somewhere 20 years ago and supposedly the knowledge gathered can make you invincible.

Also apparently none of these sects had thought to like... i don’t know... write down a second copy? Or like have a master that actually knows the stuff so they can teach it and pass it down? I guess? I mean I don’t feel like this needed to be so big of a problem.

That being said Zhou ZiShu’s “the fuq” head tilt when Wen KeXing says that it makes people invincible just does it for me. lol Mr Sass Man Like “Press X to Doubt”

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Everyone’s always trying to kill each other over some mystical mcguffin or another.

Get this thing and you’ll live forever. Get that thing and it’ll cure any ailment. Get the other thing and you can destroy all your foes. Blah Blah Blah

Y’all can miss me with that shit.

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Wen KeXing, your mirthless laugh is kinda giving up the ghost on your disguise as it were.

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Ignorant people create their own troubles. And drag innocent others into the squall.

And I ain’t down for that shit.

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Wait I get it! People who suck try to cheat!

And they’re dumb!

I’m so smrt.

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Stop asking my boy questions you know he doesn’t want to answer.

I love how much Zhou ZiShu tries to protect ChengLing’s boundaries. Like no. He doesn’t want you to treat his wound. He doesn’t want to answer that question. Then by god he’s not going to. He’s old enough to know if he needs help and to make his own decisions so I’m gonna let him. And if you try again I will cut you.

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Unfortunate.

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You can always tell when someone’s a shit manager when they order you to do something you’re already doing as if you hadn’t thought to do it and then pretend that it was their idea all along.

“Cover the bodies” do you see all these fucking sheets? Do yous ee my hands already covering his ass? Do you see? You cover the fucking bodies you damn layabout!

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And then there’s this guy! What happened? Fuckin ghost assassins came in and killed everyone! What the fuck do you think happened?

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It’s sad that y’all lost your sworn brother or something. Like it is. And y’all are making me believe that you’re in pain! And his two kids that really sucks too!

But like...

I don’t know who ANY of y’all are. Like Sucks and all but like... who are you? I’m not emotionally invested in you at ALL. Which makes it real hard to hit that sympathy card in any substantial way right out the gate.

But Idk. Maybe I’m not supposed to care all that deep? Like maybe you’re just supposed to be all like

That being said, this guy’s selling it though. He’s really goin for it.

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Hahahahahahahha your friends died and you couldn’t save them. Ha ha. We’re watermelons. :D

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ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVOKE ME ON PURPOSE?

Well fucking duh!

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Hold your blade! For I too am old and here to start shit!

That being said if y’all could stop antagonizing literally everyone you meet for 5 minutes that would be fantastic.

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What light through yonder window breaks?

It is the East

And A-Xu is the sun!

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Are you still staring? BLINK MOTHER FUCKER!!

I know you hot as fuck you can’t hide from me

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*Poke*

What the fuck dude???

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AACCKKK MY HEARTTTTTTTTT

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Whelp I’m out. Still gonna stalk me?

Oh absolutely

Eh. Guess it could be worse.

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Heyyyyyyyyyy stop walking away when I’m trying to flirt with you!!! ride my damn boat! i have a boat! Please just get on my damn boatttttttttt

Denied

Alright fine. Play hard to get. I know you like me ;)

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Um if you could wrap up the stupid love-struck staring and let us get a move on that would be greaaaaaaaat.

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That ass will be mine.

#word of honor #Shanhe Ling #Wen Kexing #zhou zishu #zhang chengling #Gu Xiang #writing woh #spoilers #episode 3

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spideyanakin · 3 years

Text

Far From Home - Part 1

Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis; Coming from another reality yourself, what will happen when you see straight through the lies of the mysterious Quentin Beck.

Part of the dialogue inspired by @thekamiiiworld //idk if you’ve seen the disney hercules movie but there’s a scene where hercules meets meg and meg says “i’m a damsel, i’m in distress, i can handle it. have a nice day!” maybe spiderman finds the reader in a bad situation and she says those lines cuz she’s a badass? do whatever with the rest of the plot. thanks!

Series Masterlist 🍒

Normal Masterlist 🧚🏻‍♀️

Your thoughts lingered to the day you had arrived in Peter's reality as you stared at the clouds from above. The memories slowly coming back up and you felt like the day you had failed your mission was happening all over again.

Your earth had been destroyed to pieces when a monster that thirsted for everything that lived had come from nowhere turning everything into bits.

You didn't even know how you managed to survive. You were holding on tight to your last piece of your lost family wishing that the storm ready to take you would go away and let you live. You used the last bit of strength inside your veins to create a dome of branches and vines, trying your best to protect the last survivors.

The last thing you remembered seeing on your earth was a skyscraper crashing. You watched from the small gaps in your dome of protection as it tumbled to the ground tears falling as you realized it was the end for you.

But suddenly some light sparks of orange came right near your face. The circle opened to reveal Kayland. You watched the familiar face and a smile had forced its way to your lips as hope lightened your chest seeing that a friendly face had survived.

"They've accepted." Was all he said before holding onto the portal, signing for the people who you had protected to jump through it.

You felt the tears about to come down more than they currently were. You sobbed as you felt the weight of dying coming off your shoulders, the few 20 people or so you were protecting slowly fading into a new reality.

"And they couldn't have earlier." You sobbed almost falling as you let go of using your powers, the branches shielding you from the chaos that rained slowly disappearing back into the ground.

"C'mon." Kayland took you in his arms as you limped your way to the portal, your body crashing to the floor in pain as you watched the fumes from the closing portal.

As the portal fully closed, the only thing you could feel from your new home in the universe was the hard wooden floor. You let out a large sob as you realized it meant the end of everything you had ever known.

You stayed on the floor, a voice was talking with the rest of the survivors but you seemed to completely block it out as all you could think of was how you failed to save your reality. The one that was currently crumbling to pieces by the hands of a mad creature.

"Y/n! Hey!" Peter snapped his fingers in front of your face, giving you a light smile as your eyes focused on him.

"Sorry." You shook your head swallowing hard as your eyes slowly reddened. "I got lost in my thoughts again." You rubbed your eyes slowly coming back to Peter, looking at him with your tight smile. Everything about that day seemed like a distant memory that was still fresh in your mind. Even tho it had been a while, and even more than a while for others. The traumas were still here and fully engraved in your memory.

"It's alright." Peter smiled as he placed a strand of hair behind your ear. "This year hasn't been the kindest to us." He chuckled trying to make you feel better as he held on tight to your hand. Placing his head on your shoulder as he heard your heartbeat quicken.

Peter knew how much those events had broken you. Fighting Thanos and losing most of your new friends barely above a year after you had lost your planet had pilled up in your mind, scaring you even more than you had been. The only thing that Peter thanked was the fact that you had blipped together.

"Yeah." You scrunched up your face in order to push away the tears that were fighting to fall. "I really need a break." You sighed flopping your head down onto the plane seat.

"I think you mean we" He chuckled "We finally are..." You opened your eyes and met with Peter's brown orbs smiling at the contact.

"Finally." You smiled before pecking his lips and bringing him into a warmful hug, glad you finally had some time to relax.

You closed your eyes and took in his scent, never thinking you could get tired of Peter's hugs.

"Peter?" You questioned opening your eyes just to look at him. "Could you tell me a story...?" You eyed everywhere but his eyes as you told him your peculiar request. "I want to sleep before we get to Venice... And I don't think I would be able to on my own." You played with the strings of his stolen hoodie that you were wearing a little ashamed of your request. You dodge his eyes as he stayed quiet, Peter thinking of how cute your question was.

A smile crept its way to Peter's lips as he watched your shy body fumbling around the cramped seat.

"Yes," He smiled. "But let's get comfortable so you can sleep first." He made grabby hands towards you as he took you into a new hug all your worries slipping away. You snuggled into his side, Peter placing his arm tight around you.

"Alright." He chuckled as a smile formed on your lips as you lightly pushed your body even more against his, sighing in content when you were settled in.

"A story," Peter clicked his tongue as he tried to think of something to tell you. "A long ago in a Galax-"

"And it better not be Star Wars related or im going to push you in a canal once we get there." You grumbled and felt Peter's body vibrate as he let out a puff of soft laughter.

"Alright. You got me..." He paused for a second wondering what he could possibly say next. "So." He smirked as the perfect story came to his mind. "Once Upon A Time, two soulmates from completely different earths met..." He went on and you let the sound of his voice guide you into peaceful sleep. "Some say it was yesterday, but someday it was years ago. " He lingered the words as he looked down to you, your closed eyes showing no sign of dislike to his story.

"It was a quiet night in the streets of New York," Peter recalled as the words that fell out of his mouth faded into images flashing in both your minds.

The streets of the stretched out city couldn't have been quieter. It was rare for Queens Peter told himself as he swung across the streets for his nightly patrol.

He eyed one cat who made a soft noise as he jumped on the ground, barely audible even for Peter. A soft meow rang through into into his ears as he jumped from a building to another, landing on the edge of an apartment complex.

Suddenly he heard a strong door, the sound making it seem as though it was built in strong bulletproof metal. It made a loud squeak and a large boom as it closed again, followed by the knocking of heels ringing on the pavement floor. He watched closely his sharp eyes scanning the figure that walked out.

A girl had come out, shivering as she made her way towards the bridge leading into Manhattan, pocketing her gloved hands before letting out a sharp breath, the cold air sending a new shiver down her spine.

Peter could have sworn her gloves were shining in four different colors before they disappeared into her empty pockets. Her large boots looked similar to Black Widow's but Peter didn't let that thought linger too much in his mind.

You sighed as you walked a little faster, feeling multiple pairs of eyes on you. The rhythm of your heeled boots made faster sounds as you felt the air around you change, feeling a presence a few meters away. You thought once again about what you had to do before snapping your head around, now facing a tall thin man, his long shoulder-length red hair waving in front of his face as he pushed you inside an empty alley, knocking you against a wall.

He pushed his large gun to your temple, leaving a non-permantent mark as he did. You felt the cold of the gun on you as he stared at you with a wicked smile, grinning as he pushed you even more into the wall.

"You think you can outsmart me? Freak." He spat in your face, pushing his elbow into your side.

"You underestimate me." You said focusing part of your energy on the bullet of the gun, placing a puff of stong air and a coat of unbreakable ice inside making the gun unusable.

"It was your little friend who I underestimated. Your nothing but a pray." He harshly whispered making you smile.

"Well, that's exactly what I mean. You underestima-" You pushed him with a blast of wind, dropping your coat on the floor revealing your jet black suit, bright neon lines of blue, white, red, and green darting through your shoulders down to the tip of your fingers. Your timing being at the same time as a flash of white darted across you sending the man against the wall.

You stayed baffled for a second as you turned your head towards who had knocked your target unconscious. You saw a man awkwardly standing in front of your, your mouth still wide open as though you were trying to catch flies.

"What did you just do?" You pointed to the knocked down guy you were desperate to get information from as you looked at the person all dressed in red.

"Aren't you... A- A damsel in distress?" Peter asked his voice a little wavy as he watched your pretty traits.

"I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. have a nice day!" You waved as you approached the guy glued to the wall, trying to reach for his pocket.

Peter watched you a little dumbfounded as you minded your own business.

You clicked a button near your neck sending a strick of neon colors flashing through your neck just to reach your eyes, a mask melting on around them, leaving the bottom of your face bare.

"Meg do you know anything about this white thing?" You asked your AI as you turned around the guy.

"Yes. These are web fluids used by a Super Hero called Spider-Man." An image of the man who was standing behind you popped into your eyes. "Would you like me to tell you about its chemical properties?"

"No that's alright. Ice or Heat if I want to break this?"

"Ice."

"Alright." You nodded Peter still watching you with a shocked expression on his face as you formed ice on every part of the webs, turning it so cold it snaped into million pieces, making the man fall to the floor.

You turned around and fumbled through his pockets, catching a few pieces of paper with your fingers.

"How did you do that?" Peter asked dumbfounded as he watched you scan the content of the pages, a content smile painted on your face.

"Well, how can you stick to walls and swing around town Spider-Man?" You asked looking up to the bright white eyes of his mask, who opened even more in surprise as he thought of something to say to you.

"Radioactive Spider-" He said barely above a whisper.

"Well, I was born with it." You let out a sarcastic smile; your smile making Peter blush under the bright red spandex that covered his face. "Now move it, Junior, I don't need your help. I got this." You shook your head and waved for him to move away. "Can you believe it? The man is dumb enough to have stolen the wrong pages." You chuckled mainly to your AI not expecting a response from the boy standing behind you.

"Hey, how do you know im not older than you?" Peter defended as you touched the man's hand, slowly making his body freeze.

"Because your not." You chuckled eyeing him before looking back to your target. "You're my age. Everything about you screams my age. Your voice, the way you stand, talk." You rolled your eyes as you slowly watched the men that was on the ground slowly turning blue. Peter looked at the men in panic as your face stayed neutral, a smile even forming on your lips.

"Don't worry." You chuckled. "He's just going to be frozen for a few years. Nothing to worry about." You smiled as you stood back up, Peter being frozen to his feet as he scanned your figure once again. "Now. You've seen me without my mask, and I know you have night vision and your AI probably films everything you see. So hear me out Spider-guy, if you see me in the streets don't talk to me I don't need trouble. Ok?"

Peter nodded hanging on to every word you spoke. You kept eye contact nodding towards Peter as a way to seal the deal. Once you were content with the situation you took a few steps back to grab your coat that was still scattered on the floor.

"Wait. Before you go can I at least get your name?" He wondered, liking the way you made him feel a little too much for him to let you slip away without a name.

"They call me Nymph." You smiled as you tied your coat, hiding your suit from the rest of the world

"Why aren't you with the Avengers Nymph. I mean look at what you can do!?" Peter raised his voice in amazement.

"I don't know..." You realized. "I don't think they know who I am." You frowned as you folded the pages that you held tight between your fingers. You delicately stuffed them in your pocket and clicked the little button on your neck, making the mask that hid your eyes fall back.

As Peter's eyes focused on yours a shiver tumbled down his spine making him blush as he took in every feature of your face, not even caring if he didn't know your real name.

"Well, Nymph. Im sure I could introduce you!" His high-pitched voice rang through your ears and a slight smile formed on your lips.

"You know the Avengers?"

-TagList-

#peter parker #peter #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader fluff #tom holland x y/n #spider man #spiderman x reader #spider man x y/n #spider man x you #spider man x reader #series #far from ome #spiderman #spider man far from home

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vtforpedro · 3 years

Text

medical update and stuff. trigger warnings in tags I’m extremely frustrated. it’s been 15 months of frustration lol so so so sick of doctors, so sick of living through this. I am tired and getting no relief you might remember, but I was given a ‘possible’ IIH diagnosis in October. we’ve been treating it like it is IIH, which means everything has always been real etc etc and the treatment is weight loss. started my ‘better eating habits’ on nov 1st. then I immediately had the thing with my chemo pill packing on a ton of excess fluid, worsening my head to the point of ER and calling my neurosurgeon, getting taken off my chemo pill, and it wasn’t until mid-december that I actually started to see any fucking weight loss cause of that my pcp told me 5lbs a month. so I’ve been right on track with that despite wishing I could lose 10 a month but that’d be starving myself so lol I’ve lost 15lbs but now something exciting is happening again!! I am retaining fluid and I have NO idea why. which means my head is now as bad as it was last summer when everything was at its worse. constant all day long, pills barely doing anything for me, vision issues, pain issues. it feels like something broke in the base of my skull/neck because I get the scariest sensations there. it’s horrible. no human being should have to live this way and I do it every single day, numerous times a day anyway I had to go to the ER last thursday A G A I N because a doctor sent me. my pupils were noticeably two different sizes. I’d noticed three days beforehand and convinced myself I was imagining it cause it wasn’t a huge difference. finally took a picture and no, def not the same size and my eye looked like it was going inward? anyway, called my pcp, they had me come in that day, he saw it from a foot and a half away, sat back, and said I need you to go to the ER, you need your brain looked at. so again, I’ve been seeing this for three days while my head has been 10/10 extreme due to pressure in it. I get there and have to wait a while but less than two hours later when they finally looked at me? gone. pupils back to normal. doctor talking down to me like I was just an anxious mess and not that another dr sent me cause he saw what I did lol and his notes were in my chart. so, wasted visit and they put a covid patient 15ft from me and intubated them, so get to remember what that sounds like forever and ever (covid patients are supposed to be separated from other ER patients). now I’m doing a 10 day quarantine while I am so severely disabled I cannot bend over to take care of my cats food/litter/etc and it’s why my mom half lives with me but she can’t right now :) getting a covid test in three hours and it’s been eight days with nothing but head issues + fluid retention so hoping it’s negative the fluid retention I had before was a side effect of my chemo pill. I don’t know why this is happening. I should be 17lbs down now and I’ve actually gained weight despite being on the same diet that lost me the 15. I’m back to 13lbs down. this makes me feel like I might be carrying 4lbs of water weight. let me break this down because yesterday a PA told me my symptoms were too ‘ambiguous’ to say if fluid retention is happening or not - fluid retention from the chemo pill was ALL felt in my stomach. it was distended and bloated like I’d eaten at a buffet every single day - head got massively worse, enough to go to the er, doc and I agreed the fluid retention causing me to fluctuate between 15lbs was making the IIH worse - not urinating often despite drinking a normal amount - got on a diuretic, seven days later the weight was gone, head was better, started losing weight this is what I’m experiencing now - fluid retention that is causing my stomach to feel very bloated and look/feel distended - head has gotten massively worse, enough to send me to the ER - should be losing weight, have actually gained weight on a low fat, low calorie diet - the only difference this time is that I am dehydrating myself (yes I know, bad, but it is literally saving my life) because I experimented one day with half my water intake and my head was miles better. still experiencing a terrible head episode once or twice a day but it’s not 10/10 constantly - and the second difference is despite not drinking enough water, I am actually urinating more often and it’s a lot more clear than it should be, the color I expect when I’m hydrating well I consider this ^^^^^ to be a good case of why I think I have fluid retention but being told my symptoms were ‘ambiguous’ and throwing me to my neurosurgeon instead is HNNNNG (esp because diuretics are known to help IIH symptoms FOR THIS EXACT REASON) I have VERY recently had my sugars checked a few times, glucose is normal. VERY recently had an abdominal CT, also normal. it’s not diabetes, it’s not something happening in my abdomen. they hear abdomen vs legs swelling and think it’s GI because doctors never fucking listen and actively put their patients in danger but o h w e l l, I guess anyway as it’s been for 15 months, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I go this way and experience agony, I go that way and experience agony I need extra hydration for weight loss, leukemia, being obese. I need less hydration because it worsens IIH to the point of 10/10 I want to die (which makes me heavily and actively suicidal. doctors see I take anti-depressants and assume idk I’m being dramatic but no, it’s really this fucking bad. I would rather die that moment than keep feeling what’s happening in my head) there’s like no middle ground and my body and these doctors are making it impossible to figure this shit out. my mom had to come over at 1:45 AM last night (hasn’t had to rush here since april 2020 cause that’s just how bad it is) because I lost my balance twice and was lucky I had something to catch onto or I would’ve been on the ground (neuro symptoms which could be IIH, could be chiari, could be stroke) and my speech got SUPER bad almost immediately. scared the hell out of me, I have never in my life lost balance that badly before things are going downhill and I would’ve thought losing weight they’d start improving but when has my body ever made this easy lol meeting a new neurologist on monday who works in the same building with my neurosurgeon. I’ve been avoiding them cause every single one of them told me I was just anxious despite specific physical movements causing an episode lmao but hopefully this guy is better and he has access to all of my neurosurgeon’s notes and stuff. I can’t keep dehydrating myself but at the same time I can’t let my head get so bad I make a farewell note for my mom, you know? it’s just been really bad and I don’t know how to get people to listen to me. I have a 99% diagnosis and they still don’t take me as seriously as they should. this has ruined my quality of life and they would have you believe that doctors take that seriously but they do not neurosurgeon wants me to see an ophthalmologist again cause of my vision issues and to check for specific things that relate to IIH. he wants another MRI done in early may cause it’s been a year since my last one by then (actually a month later, my last one was in april, but I’m curious if the neurologist will order one sooner) to check to see if anything has worsened so yeah living in absolute hell again and don’t know if I can just get a simple one week diuretic to get this fluid out of my body. what the FUCK else can it be when I’ve experienced this exact thing twice!! before. it happened to a much, much lesser degree the first time I got on the chemo pill. but the same shit :) hanging on by the thinnest thread guys and 15 months of feeling like I’m going to die almost every single day through that has destroyed my psyche. destroyed me as a person. I don’t know what to do anymore sorry this is all a lot of Bad™ but it’s been a lot of bad for 15 months. if I can keep going, I hope one day to be able to give an update of improvement love you all

#medical #medical trauma #tw suicidal thoughts #personal #long post

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bananagukkie · 4 years

Text

sidekick. jjk

summary.⇢ You didn’t realize that your best friend was in love with you or the fact that he was Busan’s “newest” hero.

genre.⇢ fluff, a pinch of angst

words. ⇢ 6,583k

rating. ⇢ idk, can you handle neck kisses?

a/n ⇢ well i finally finished it JKEFNKJFN it kinda sucks but I’m new to all this. oh well, hope you like it??? <33 also i wanted to change the fuCKING TITLE BUT I ALREADY MADE THE IMAGE SO I T WAS TOO L A TE

As a kid, you were always fascinated by super-heroes. Whether it was the superhero saving the innocent citizens of Busan or the western superheroes on the TV. When you were a kid, your mother had always told you that heroes were just humans and at one point they needed to be saved too. The idea of a superhero -- a savior -- needing to be saved was a concept that you were never able to grasp. You scoffed at the idea, they were far too strong to ever get hurt, at least that's what you thought. Countless memories of you staying up late at night to watch your favorite movie and getting up early in the morning to watch the news. It was a strange sight for your mother whenever she would walk into the small living room to see a six-year-old take notes of the heroes on the news. Your childhood consisted of freaking out over any hero poster in the stores, buying costumes for Halloween, and hours upon hours of staring at the TV. Your obsession was almost as comical as it was serious.

When you reached your teenage years, it didn’t get any better. You had saved up all your money to buy yourself a bicycle and a camera- right after quitting your two part-time jobs. Your daily routine was to head the living room (or any nearby television) to watch the news, head to school, come back from school, watch the news again and take pictures whenever a Super-Hero was in the city. To be honest, people thought you were some nosey fan account whenever they saw you with your bike and camera. Not that it wasn’t true- but it still hurt. Being called an Aspiring Journalist would’ve been better.

You still remember it vividly. The terrified screams that ripped through the city’s air, the sound of buildings collapsing and the thousands of footsteps running away from the epicenter of the battle like a stampede.

To others, it was the most terrifying moment in their lives- but to you, it was the most exciting.

Camera in hand, it was the fastest that you’ve ever peddled. Your muscles screamed at you for a quick break, the pain spreading up your body. Did you ever stop? No. You couldn’t, The fear in your body was overshadowed by the adrenaline, the excitement, the anticipation. Ignoring all the shouts and the screams, your eyes held stars in them. You were finally going to see a superhero up close. The closer you got, the more chaotic the situation was turning.

Squinting at a blurry black figure, you tried making them out, taking mental notes in your head along the way. It was a new villain- someone you’ve never seen before. They seemed almost abnormal. Big muscles bulging out inhumanely, their hands had large claws for fingers, their teeth were pointy with extra sets in the back. Worry settled in the back of your head, they were far larger than the hero fighting them off.

Pedaling backward on the breaks, your bike vibrated as more buildings began to collapse when the villain jumped on them. Hopping out of your bicycle seat, you swiftly guided it to a small alleyway, “please don’t fall on my bike,” you whispered to yourself, it’d suck if the building destroyed your hard-earned bike.

Camera in hand, your eyes searched the sky for the two. A flash of bright red and blue appeared from behind a large building, hanging onto what seemed like a small thread. An audible gasp escaped your mouth in shock. The new hero. You’ve seen them on the news before, though everything they did was small. You swore you saw him helping an old lady across the street once. Their body seemed too frail to be an experienced hero, if you saw them on the streets you’d guess that they were just a cosplayer.

Crouching down, you quickly took as many pictures as you can of the two. The monstrous villain and the rookie hero. Don’t want to flatter myself but I’d totally rock as a photographer, you snickered to yourself. Humor was the only way that you could successfully push all your fear away.

The ground vibrated once more, but this time it had been much stronger. The villain didn’t latch onto one of the skyscrapers- it decided to land on the ground, cracking the cement beneath it. Its chest was heaving up and down rapidly, tired of the chase. The fear had begun to settle, your muscles tightening up in discomfort. As scary as it was, you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get a close-up shot. The shutter of the camera sang loud and clear.

“Ah shit.”

Your breath got caught in your throat as the monstrous villain turned to face you. A nervous laugh escaped your mouth, “ah shit”. A chill ran down your spine as you came face to face with the monster. They didn’t look too different from the hero that they were fighting. Though the only similarities you found was the web pattern on their body and the shape of their eyes, the symbol on their chest was a bright blood red, mimicking the spider on the hero’s chest. You felt frozen in place, your feet suddenly weighing more than a boulder. For the first time ever, you felt fear resurfacing from the depths that you forced them under for so long.

Locking eyes with the villain, you felt your body tremble under their stare, chills running down to your bones. You didn’t dare blink, scared that the monster might pounce on you when you did. Apparently, you didn’t need to blink.

The weight of what seemed like a thousand bricks jumped on your small body, the air getting knocked out of your lungs. The monster released an odd sound that resembled a sinister laugh mixed with a screech. The only thing you could do was kick and scream, your throat burning at how loud you were. It’s weight pressed down on you further and further, small cracking noises reached your ears but there was no pain.

The monster was quickly shoved off of you.

Finally opening your eyes, they were a few feet away from you. It was completely silent other than your own heavy breathing and someone else’s. Looking up at your savior, you felt your breath getting caught in your throat. The hero stood over you, a gloved hand reaching for yours. “Ah shit, I’m so sorry,” he apologized, his voice muffled by the mask over his head. He analyzed you for any injuries, guilt settling itself in his stomach. He shouldn’t have let that happen; it shouldn’t have happened.. “I have to get back to chasing this big guy away,” the hero mumbled, patting your head as he shot out a web and flew off into the distance.

Dumbfounded, you stayed in your spot. The pain coursing through your body was strong but your confusion was much stronger. Forcing yourself onto your knees, you scrambled towards your camera in hopes that it had not broken due to the collision with the ground. Releasing the breath that you didn’t even know that you were holding, you ran towards your bike.

“Holy shit, holy shit, that did not just fucking happen,” you repeated. Disbelief floods your mind. First, you were attacked by the villain himself, then rescued by the hero. “What the fuck?!” you shouted, hopping onto your bike and pedaling off as fast as you can, avoiding the debris.

In your peripheral, you saw a bright red blur following you. His eyes looming over your fleeing figure protectively.

It was late at night. You had slipped into your pajamas earlier, expecting Jungkook to arrive back at the dorm. He never did though. “So much for having a roommate,” you scoffed, slipping your head through the over-sized shirt.

The performing arts major never arrived at the dorms early. He was either out with friends or in the studio dancing his. It was an admirable trait- a hardworking student. While you tried your hardest at everything, your roommate was easily able to outshine everyone with ease. “What a flawless man,” you mumbled to yourself, closing the door to your room behind you. There was nothing he couldn’t do.

You didn’t want to admit it but you always felt lonely when he wasn’t around. He was constantly doing something- sometimes he wouldn’t arrive until early morning around 6 am. You felt like you didn’t know him. After a few years of attending the university, you were stuck to the male by the hip- he was your only friend after all, as embarrassing as it was. Nobody wanted to be associated with the odd journalist major who had a weird obsession with chasing heroes. You learnt to accept it after your first year.

Walking towards the small couch, you quickly turned on the TV and went onto the News. Bringing your knees up close to your chest, the TV sprung into action and displayed the daily news and events. It was funny, you always held the same habit of instinctively walking towards the TV, your fingers knowing what buttons to press to get to the news channel. A small content hum left your mouth as you wrapped yourself in your warm blankets.

The solitude was comforting on hard days. Though the minute you returned to the dorm on a good day, a sudden melancholic feeling appeared in the pit of your stomach. “Jungkook and his stupid schedule,” is what you would always blame.

The vibration of your phone moved the entire coffee table. Jumping in surprise, you glanced at your phone. A text from Namjoon happened to pop up.

Namjoon was another close friend of yours that you had met in the library, sulking while preparing for a test that you were not prepared for. Turns out, he was just a friendly nerd who happened to have an alarmingly high IQ. He insisted that he’d help you study for the test since the subject was easy for him. You reluctantly obliged and from then on, the two of you became friends. You would meet each other every so often at the coffee shop or the library, becoming closer and closer.

Smiling fondly at the memory, you grabbed your phone and unlocked it to see the text. The television providing background noise, you weren’t paying much attention to it anyways.

Namjoonie: Hey!? Get on the news asap. There's something wild going on right now…

You sat there rereading the text multiple times, confused. Wild? There was nothing going on right now. Not for you at least. The phone began to vibrate aggressively against your hand as you saw an incoming call from Namjoon. If he was really that panicked to call you right after texting- it must’ve been urgent. Quickly picking up the call, he shouted your name. “Namjoon! What the hell?”

“Ah, I’m sorry but it seems pretty serious. I’m sure you’d think the same if you saw it,” he paused, “are you watching the news?” his question muffled by the sounds of his own television.

Finally averting your attention to the small TV in front of you, you felt like an idiot for ignoring it the entire time. The crew was filming from a helicopter, hovering over the city’s skyscrapers, zooming in on the familiar hero. The camera was shaky but it did it’s best to focus on the hero. Finally, the lens focused and you felt your heart drop to your stomach. The striking red and blue suit brought back memories you thought you had forgotten. They looked exactly the same as before- no - they seemed much more mature now. They seemed stronger and taller, their movements radiated confidence and bravery. Unlike before, the spider-like hero seemed like a true hero.

The kind of hero you’d obsess over if you were still a young teen.

The villain that the spider hero was fighting came into view, releasing an inhuman screech that caused the camera to move in surprise. “Even the people in the helicopter were able to hear that,” you told Namjoon as he hummed in acknowledgement. Quickly reading the headlines, your mouth murmured the words on screen.

“The new hero in Busan: Spider-Man.”

New? He was anything but new. He had been there since you were a teen. The memory felt in your mind fresh now that you saw Spider-Man once again.

The villain attempted to leap onto Spider-Man though it was quickly dodged by the agile hero, rolling out of the way. Latching one of his webs onto the villain’s back, he swung the villain into an already damaged building. Your eyes widened at the power he had. “Namjoon-ah, does the villain have a name?” you asked, curious about the villain. If you guessed correctly, it had been the same villain that attacked you years ago. “Yeah, they’re calling him Black Widow,” he informed.

It made sense. It’s body was bulbous and had muscles sprouting from every limb, their eyes bright red along with the small patterns on their body. Black Widow finally sprouted from under the debris, picking up a column before launching it at Spider-Man. The speed was frightening, surely you’d be killed if something that big was thrown at you that fast. Your nails dug into the couch, your heartbeat quickening. “Please, Spider-Man,” you whispered, quiet enough that Namjoon wasn’t able to hear it. Getting up from your couch, “Namjoon, I'm heading out to see it closer,” you told him as you grabbed the keys to your car from the coffee table. “Don’t you fucking dare,” Namjoon scolded you through the phone. Staring at the small device in shock, your jaw hung open at his words. Namjoon was not fond of cussing in front of others, he claimed that it made him look stupid and immature. For you to hear him cuss- especially at you - had you flabbergasted. Slowly setting the keys back down onto the table, he sighed. “I’m sorry but you should know by now that you shouldn’t be risking your life for some news article on your blog, YN. I know how much heroes matter to you, as well as journalism- but please take your life into account as well,” his voice was apologetic and gentle. When he said sorry, he truly meant it.

“Yeah,” you whispered, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be so careless,” your eyes glanced at the Television once more, your grip on the phone tightening.

Just then, Spider-Man fell onto the floor Black-Widow on top of him. Gasping, you walked closer to the TV touching the screen. “Get up,” you silently pleaded. He was struggling to get Black Widow off- no doubt about that. Even after all these years, Black Widow was still significantly bigger. You saw a web shoot out from his arm, grabbing onto a stray piece of debris before flinging it at the monster-like villain, hitting him in the head. It wasn’t enough to knock him out but it let Spider-Man get out from under Black-Widow.

A small surge of relief passed through your body. “What a hero,” you heard Namjoon say, he sounded just as relieved as you were. A loud screech reached your ears before the TV shut down entirely. Relief was quickly replaced with panic and fear. “Namjoon?” you called out, though you were met with silence. Soon after, the lights were quick to shut off as well.

Chucking your phone aside, you ran to the window behind the TV and saw the city’s lights slowly turning off. Building by Building. “What the hell,” was all you could muster. A chill ran down your spine as the entire city of Busan was dark as midnight, the buildings were barely visible. A loud knock was heard from your bedroom window. Tensing at the sound, you stared at the open door. “What the fuck,” you whispered, your voice shaking with fear.

Slowly approaching your door, you peeked into the room and saw a familiar figure hanging onto a web, hand on the window. You felt like you couldn’t move. A hero was at your window. Snapping back into reality, you released a startled yelp before running to the window to open it. Lifting the heavy window, the suited hero stumbled in and collapsed on the floor groaning in pain. The window sill was tainted red with a thick substance, it had not been there before either. Looking back at the groaning hero, you quickly crouched down at his level. Flipping his body so he can face the ceiling, “Fuck- I’m so sorry,” he groaned, his hand covering his gash.

His voice…

His voice sounded like music to your ears, it felt like centuries since you’ve heard that muffled voice. Everything about him matured. “I’m so-” “you’re bleeding…” your voice sounded more like a sad whisper than a statement. He turned his masked head to face you, shocked by your somber tone. Gently removing his hands from the wound, you internally cringed at how bad it was. The blood stained suit. It was hard to see with the lack of light because of how much blood was seeping out of the injury. Shifting in your spot, “I saw you on the news,” you bit your lip, not sure what to say. What could you say when a hero was in front of you? This caused Spider-Man to chuckle quietly, “did you now?” he smiled under the mask. He knew you weren’t able to see it, nevertheless, he smiled. “Did I look good?” he said with a teasing tone.

Stiffening and retracting your hands from his wound, you refused to answer such a question. Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, “I’m not going to answer that,” you replied quietly, “You look better than you did years ago though”. Spider-Man shook his head, a giggle escaping his lips. “You’re so cute,” he commented, pinching your cheek. He knew who you were, hell- he lived with you. The two of you were never seen without each-other in public, it raised suspicions. ‘How could some weird writer get at someone like Jungkook?’. You were an angel in his eyes, the most beautiful woman on the entire planet, not some weird writer girl. Jungkook would keep you safe if it meant risking his life.

He never had the courage to tell you. He doubts he ever will. Spider-Man and Jungkook were entirely different people. The confidence and bravery that he has with Spider-Man completely disappears when he’s Jungkook. It never stopped him from being his full self around you though.

The gentle pinch reminded you of Jungkook, it was a habit of his whenever you did something dumb, sometimes he just did it out of random. Smiling at the hero, “stay here”.

“I don’t have anywhere else to go, babe”

Your face flared with heat and color at the nickname. It was something you weren’t used to. No one dared to call you such things, they’d rather call you ‘nerd’. Leaving the room, you shined your light from your phone and made a quick trip to the restroom. Opening the door, your eyes landed on the cabinet beside the shower. Quickly grabbing the first aid kit with shaky hands, you accidentally dropped your phone in the process.

Apparently, it was loud enough for Spider-Man to hear. “You okay in there, babe?”. There he goes again with the embarrassing pet-name. “shit,” you cursed yourself, picking up your cracked phone and running back into your room.

“Are you okay?” you asked, afraid that you had left him waiting for too long. Kneeling next to him, your clammy hands opened the first aid kit. Namjoon had shown you how to stitch and clean wounds when you had cut your palm open with glass before, he was like your mom. It was safe to say you knew what you were doing. “Me? I heard you fall or something. Seems like someone is clumsy,” his voice was a lot more quieter, trying to preserve his energy. “Coming from the bleeding hero,” you retorted, pouring hydrogen peroxide on a clean rag. His eyes glued to the rag, he gulped harshly and grabbed your wrist gently. “Maybe, we should use water,” he suggested, obviously on edge because of the hydrogen peroxide. You rolled your eyes, “shut it and be a good boy for me. You act like you didn’t just get slashed from a villain” you mumbled, shaking his hand off your wrist.

It was odd how easy it was to talk to him, it felt like you’ve known him since forever even if you’ve barely started talking. You halted, staring at his wound. Realization hit you like a ton of bricks, averting your gaze to Spider-Man. “Uh… I'm gonna need you to take your suit off,” you stuttered your words out miserably. “Right… wanna help me?”

There wasn’t a teasing tone apparent in his words, it was him genuinely asking for help. Nodding slowly, “I’ll be gentle, I’m sorry,” you weren’t sure how you got yourself in this situation. Staring at your figure for a few more seconds, he nodded. Reaching behind his neck, there was a small click. Tilting your head, you watched him with interest. The hero paused, “you know you should probably take me out somewhere before I get naked in front of you,” he joked, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Oh my gosh,” you buried your face into your hands, it felt like your face was set on fire.

His hands dragged the tight bodysuit as far down as he could without hurting himself. Pushing his hands away, “there. I’ll do the rest, please. I don’t want you to get hurt even more,” you said, grabbing the suit. A fond smile tugged at the corner of his lips, letting go of his suit, “go ahead, babe”. Removing the suit from his torso, you frowned at the nasty sight of the wound. It was worse than you thought.

Grabbing the rag, you wiped away any of the blood around the wound, being as careful and gentle as possible. Jungkook watched you diligently as you worked on him. He noted how your cheeks were visibly red even in the dark. He noticed how ethereal you looked when the moonlight hit you at a certain angle. Your lips were hanging open slightly as you worked hard on him, concentrating on treating his wound. The wound was on his lower side, above his hip. He couldn’t help but smirk at how flustered you were to see his bare upper body.

You felt like you couldn’t concentrate. He was built like a Greek god for fucks sake. Not only that but he had a cute little birthmark on his collarbone, which only furthered your embarrassment. Sure, you’ve seen shirtless guys here and there, but Spider-Man was on an entirely different level of attractive. Looking back up at his masked face, you frowned. “I’m sorry if this hurts,” you warned. He simply shook his head, “as long as it gets the job done, right?” he pinched your cheek again, making you smile.

Nodding, you gently dabbed the rag with hydrogen peroxide on his wound. His entire body tensed up in pain, it wasn’t overwhelming- but it wasn’t the nicest feeling ever.

Swallowing hard, “you know, I used to think of Heroes differently.” you begun, sending him a sorry smile. Tilting his head, you took it as a cue to continue. “I’ve always been obsessed with heroes. For as long as I can remember, I would go out of my way to look for heroes doing their job, taking pictures and notes. I had an entire book dedicated to heroes,” You remembered how much time you dedicated to finding heroes in Busan. “I saw them as people who couldn’t get hurt,” you looked up when you were done cleaning his wound and stitching, only to see him staring at you. Taken aback, you shyly smiled at the hero. ‘But I guess, along the way… I realized that they were just humans,” you finished. “They need a hero of their own, I suppose,”

He wasn’t sure what to say. Jungkook felt his cheeks burn with heat, his mouth agape. Gently, he held you cheek in his hand, cherishing the warmth that you radiated. Bringing you closer, he felt like his heart was going to jump out of his chest. You felt like a deer caught in headlights but you hastily made up your mind. Turning your body to face his, you place your hand on the ground to support your weight, the other lifting his mask to reveal his mouth, a small mole under his bottom lip stood out to you. He didn’t complain or stop. Pulling you closer, your lips were centimeters away from his. His hot breath was fanning over your cold skin, sending goosebumps to spread all over your body. “

You didn’t have a chance to kiss him.

The city lights of Busan turned back on, the high volume of the TV in the living room startled the two of you. Spider-Man stiffened, suddenly reminded that he had a job to finish. Getting off of the ground, he pulled his mask down. Coughing awkwardly, “I’m so sorry, but I really have to go,” he said, panic evident in his voice.

You couldn’t deny the fact that you were disappointed. A frown appeared on your face, making Jungkook’s heart clench. He wanted to kiss you as much as you did, but he couldn’t. Not with a city to save. Walking over to the bloody window, he fit his body through.

“Wait!”

He turned back to you.

“Thank you for being my hero”

If his heart didn’t break right then and there, he’s not sure what happened to it. “I’m sorry baby,” and with that, he carefully closed the window, shot out a web and left you alone on the floor.

It felt so familiar. To be left alone in the dorm. The air around you felt empty, the only sound providing you with comfort was the TV. You felt your chest tighten, you wanted to hear his voice one more time. Your hero’s voice.

Your eyes fluttered open, the ambient noises of the city filling your ears, keeping you safe from the silence. The window from yesterday was still stained with blood that had now oxidized, the curtains bunched up away from the window, allowing the light to seep in. The memories from last night flashed in your mind, reminding you of what happened. Looking on your bedside table, the small electronic clock displays the time in bright red numbers. You had two hours before your first class of the day, there was still plenty of time for you.

Mustering enough strength to drag your body out of bed, you stretched your tired limbs, groaning in relief. Dragging your feet towards the living room, the sound of cans clinking together and items being moved around filled the room.

Eyes landing on the suspect, a small smile tugged at your lips. Jungkook was digging through the small fridge, looking for something to eat. The boy had quite the appetite after all. An evil smirk appeared on your face. Running towards the male and jumping on his back, wrapping your legs around his waist while your hands grabbed at his shoulders. The noise that came out of the male’s mouth alarmed you. He groaned in pain and grasped at his side, quickly realizing your mistake- you got off of him. “Kookie?” you whispered, worried for the boy. A small yet pained chuckle escaped his lips, turning to face you. “Ah.. I’m sorry, I’m just a little sore,” he dismissed his pain with a blatant lie. Jungkook wasn’t one to lie, so the suspicion of him lying to you was out of the question.

Your eyes trailed up and landed on his face, a small gash on his cheek right below his eye. “Jungkook!” you scolded the boy, causing him to sheepishly wince at your tone. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He wasn’t planning on seeing you today, not after what happened yesterday. He didn’t want you getting suspicious. Placing a hand on the side of his face gently, “when did this happen, Kook?” you questioned, your bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

You’ve known him for a while now, it was only natural for you to be protective of him. You cared for him more than you really should.

Jungkook hung his head low, “I got in a fight yesterday”. Another lie.

It hurt to lie to you so blatantly, you didn’t deserve to be lied to. It was for your and his own good, though. ‘Hey, YN. Did you know that I’m Spider-Man?’, it was easier said than done. Leaning into your touch, “If it makes you feel better, it doesn’t hurt a lot,” he gave you a weak smile. Scoffing lightly at the boy, “come on, it looks like you slept without taking care of it,” he giggled, pinching your cheek, another reminder of what happened last night.

“Yes ma’am”

The two of you walked towards the small bathroom. Everything was how it was yesterday, even the cabinet was still open. Jungkook seated himself on the toilet, looking up at you as you grabbed the first-aid kit. ‘Guess I might just make friends with this thing since I’ve been seeing it a lot’ you joked, opening the kit. “How’d you get in a fight?” you asked, the silence killing you in the inside.

Jungkook tensed up. “I… They were just saying some stuff,” he shrugged, toying with his bruised fingers. His entire body ached. The fight with Black-Widow really took a toll on his body. The injuries on his side and cheek were only one of the many. You frowned at Jungkook, “C’mon Kookie, you have better shit to do,” you scolded the boy, swatting his nose gently. His wide doe eyes followed your movements, not flinching when you hit his nose. “I guess I did, huh?” he offered you a smile which was hard to deny. Smiling back at him, you never really noticed how cute his smile was until now. An odd feeling settled itself in your stomach, you decided to ignore them.

Dabbing the small cotton ball on his wound, he grimaced. “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, biting your lip in concentration. You didn’t want to see him get hurt, especially for small things such as fighting. He was far too pretty to have gashes and cuts on his face.

Instantly, his eyes landed on your lips. The brief memory of yesterday flashing in his mind. They were so rosy and plump, he wondered if they were soft. Scratch that- he knew they were soft just by staring at them. Swallowing hard, he shifted in his seat. “You okay, Kook?” you asked, placing a bandage on his gash. “Now that you’ve healed me up, Nurse YN,” he joked. He was left disappointed when your hand left his cheek, he craved nothing more than to be loved and touched by you.

Slumping, “Hey YN,” he called out at you before you had the chance to leave the bathroom. Turning around to look at Jungkook, the tips of his ears were red and he was fumbling with the end of his shirt. “Can we go get coffee?” he asked, shooting you his best attempt at puppy-dog-eyes. Your chest clenched at his ministrations, it was hard to ever say no to Jungkook. “Of course,” sending him a smile of your own. It’s been a while since you’ve spent some time with Jungkook other than being with him during class.

Averting your eyes to the clock on the wall, the two of you had plenty of time. “Let me get dressed, okay?” you told him, walking to your room to change out of your pajamas.

The weather was fairly nice today. No cloud in sight, not too hot or too cold. It was perfect, hell, even the breeze was perfect.

The warmth of the coffee protected your hands from getting cold from the breeze. You were walking alongside Jungkook, who towered over your small frame. You had agreed that you would watch each other to class after you finished the coffee, hence why the two of you had your backpacks on. There was a comfortable silence between the two of you, but you decided to break it with a question that had been itching at the back of your mind.

“Kookie... Why are you never at the dorms?” pausing, “It gets lonely sometimes, and Namjoon won’t always be there to provide me company when you can’t” you finished, gluing your eyes to the ground, biting your lip. There was a moment of silence, Jungkook gathered his thoughts for his next lie. Well, half of it was a lie.

He spent most of his time dancing when he had the chance, the other percentage was his defending the city of Busan as SpiderMan. The moment you looked up at him, he was already opening his mouth to answer.

“I’m sorry,” he started off with an apology, because you deserved it. No- you deserved more than a sorry. To him, you deserved the entire world. Bringing up his hand to rub the side of your cheek gently, “I’m sorry I'm not always there. It’s not that I don’t want to be there, I’m just always so busy either at the Library or dancing my ass off,” he offered you a joking smile, “Dance is competitive, YN. When you’re not practicing, someone else is. When you’re not taking opportunities, someone else is”

It wasn’t a lie. Well, it was but it also wasn’t. Maybe he should use his expert lying skills when he gets into a fight more often.

Looking down at you, you were toying around with the straw sheepish at how you even asked such a selfish question. “I know… But even the best dancers take breaks,” you gently hit his arm. Overreacting, he groaned and grabbed his arm. “Did you get stronger, YN?” teasing you as he pinched your cheek affectionately. “Yah! You’re gonna give me a bruise,” you scolded the male as he laughed.

He looked down at your hand, sliding his own into it. “I’ll try and make it up to you, okay?”

“You better, I’ve watched at least every single Netflix movie by now. Alone”

Rubbing the back of his hand with your thumb, “I just worry about you sometimes,” you whispered, leaning into his side and staring at the ground to avoid his gaze. And yes, he was staring at you. And yes, you felt that shit.

He felt like he was going to melt. His face felt hot and his heart sped up when you leaned into him. Jungkook knew damn well how whipped he was for you. Stopping, you looked up at him with confusion. “You’re so perfect,” he whispered, his finger lifting your chin up, his other hand brushing stray hairs away from your face. Shocked by his choice of words, you felt your face heat up, flustered. He noticed the familiar red hue on your cheeks, smirking in victory.

“You can’t say things that aren’t true. That’s lying,” you pouted slightly, dismissing his flirtatious comment.

Perking a brow at your words, he gently shoved you against the wall in an alley. Where did it come from? You guessed it was nearby, you didn’t question it.

“It’s too bad you don’t see it,” his hands were at the sides of your face, his lips hovering over yours. You felt everything. The warmth of his calloused yet gentle hands, the hot breath that came out of his mouth, his knee between your legs. His hand trailed down your body slowly, sending chills down your spine, it landed at your hip. Squeezing it, “because to me, every inch of you is perfect”. You felt your heart beating at a thousand miles an hour, like it was going to jump out of your chest. You took this time to admire how attractive he was, the cut on his cheek, the mole under his bottom lip, his doe eyes. Everything about him was ethereal. “Kiss me,” you breathed out, eliciting a smirk from the male. “Don’t have to tell me twice, baby”. Instantly, his hot lips collided with yours, a sense of neediness and desire evident. His hand on your waist was rubbing soft circles, trailing further down slowly. Pulling away, you took a small gasp for air. “Do you know how good I’d take care of you?” he whispered in your ear, his voice deeper than usual. You surely weren’t complaining though, if anything it only gave you butterflies in your stomach and an ache in your arousal.

“How good I’ll be for you?” he continued, dragging his lips down your neck, planting kisses as he goes. Gripping his shirt, you were nearly embarrassed at how hard you were breathing. “So show me,” the words you tried so hard to speak managed to slip out. You felt him smile against your neck, “I’ll show you”. Jungkook bit down on your neck, a wanton moan escaping your mouth. “Fuck,” he groaned at the dirty noise that came out of your mouth. “You sound like an angel, baby” he sucked on the tender skin as you squirmed under him. Kissing the forming bruise, his lips trailed further down. “Jungkook, please,” you whined, tugging at his hair.

His ministrations stopped, the ground beneath your feet rumbling softly. Detaching his lips from your neck, he looked around. “Earthquake?” he thought out loud. Earthquakes weren’t so common in Busan, so he quickly dismissed the assumptions. “You felt that right?” he looked back up at you. Gulping down your worries, you nodded. “I don’t think it’s anything to worry about, though’.

The ground started to rumble harder than it did before, “nevermind” you piped up, gently pushing Jungkook off of you. Walking out of the alleyway, with Kookie right behind your trail, a black figure was hanging off the side of a building, looking down at both of you with hawk eyes. “Ah shit, Here I was thinking I fucking scared him off,” Jungkook exasperated, putting his hands on his knees and crouching over. “Huh?” turning to face him, nothing but confusion evident on your face.

Jungkook shook his head in dismay, “I love you, YN. But I got a job to do,” he pulled your wrist, bringing you close to him. Placing a soft kiss on your lips, he smiled at you. “Gotta protect what I love right?” with a wink, he walked into the dark alley that you two were just in. It took a moment for you to fully register what was going on.

Wait he said I love you?

You heard a ‘Syoom’, turning your head to face the alley, a web shot out and latched onto the building near the villain. A familiar body flew across your vision, landing on the tall building. A blur of blue and red combined. Gasping silently, a proud smile tugged at your lips. “Well how about that,” you mumbled. Cupping your mouth with your hands, “SpiderMan!” you shouted, your voice echoing through the street. It was enough to get the hero’s attention.

“I love you too,” you mouthed.

You didn’t hear it but his chest bobbed up in down as he laughed. Bringing his hand up, he formed a small heart with his fingers.

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scrimmification · 3 years

Text

taking a self care day and was instantly hit with temptation so u know what. here’s that dhurkemara essay. but it’ll be under a cut because i’m polite like that

the following is some canon facts sprinkled in with mostly my own headcanons and opinions. but i’m right about everything. cw for mentions of trauma and aa6 spoilers.

i should actually start this by saying that i see a lot of polycule dhurke/amara/jove or dhurke/amara/datz and while it is cute i feel a bit weird about using a poly relationship as just a “oh he has two hands” solution to love triangles. not that poly relationships aren’t valid, but it’s usually just people putting characters together without thinking about how the dynamic would even function. as if a polycule is a band-aid solution.

but that’s not important because this essay is about why dhurke and amara should just be friends (post SOJ)

i do not respect capcom or its canon, but here’s a bunch of canonical soj facts that are kinda fucked up; - when nahyuta is born, amara is 19 and dhurke is 20 - when the palace fire breaks out, amara is 21 and dhurke is 22 - there’s a gap of approximately 8 years of time where dhurke thinks amara is dead before they reunite and have rayfa (they’re each around the age of 30 at the time) - there’s a period of time anywhere from 9 months - 1 year that they’re living together again before rayfa and amara are both kidnapped - following this, dhurke never sees his wife ever again

because i have extreme brainrot, i sat down and feasibly considered the amount of time they would’ve been together. like, genuinely face to face together. if you only take into account the numbers the game gives you, then that means out of 25 years of marriage, they only see each other for about 3 of them. i tend to tack on an extra year or so for dating, but that’s still a really short amount of time, with almost all of it being before the palace fire ever happened. not to mention, they married incredibly young, and amara is royalty. typically royal families will push for children to be wed as soon as they come of age.

there’s also the fact that canonically, dhurke was not wealthy to any degree. he mentions in a throw away line having a bunch of weird odd jobs including both farmer and street performer (side note, street performer dhurke is hilarious). considering amara was basically hailed as a goddess by virtue of existing, i kind of doubt they were childhood friends or anything before that. my own hcs for how they met and got married initially tend to fall into a romeo and juliet style of mushy romance. plucky lawyer steals the heart of the queen with his humble charm and promises to whisk her away kind of thing. idk i do actually think they were very in love when they were younger, and maybe like... TOO in love, but my essay and thoughts tend to skew towards characterization through how the two of them grow through their traumas. so let’s just go in order of events here;

the palace fire

i do not care what capcom tries to tell me, dhurke has burns. if amara has a giant chest mark from being in the fire for a very short amount of time, dhurke would have full body burns from literally breaking into and out of a burning building. do you know how hot fire is? it’s fucking hot. it’s also genuinely terrifying. my point is i hc dhurke has some form of pyrophobia.

the years after the palace fire and before rayfa is born aren’t given much canon information, but it is stated that amara is convinced dhurke was out to kill her and willingly lives in the palace outside of the public eye. she’s convinced that dhurke is evil and was trying to kill her for at least twice as long as they were married. that kind of skews your perception of a person, no matter how much you might have once loved them. even if you STILL love them, it’s different. feelings change with time, and i think that’s a really fun thing to explore in fiction.

the rescue/rayfa’s birth

so here’s where i add the drama. just sprinkle it in. there’s a very sneaky line in the game that they kind of slip in during dhurke’s recounting of events around the time rayfa was born, and i have not stopped thinking about it for 2 years.

so plot wise, when apollo presses dhurke about lying about amara being dead, he talks about how he (somehow) got a tip that amara was alive and still being held in the palace. he broke in to save her and potentially run away with her, datz, and and nahyuta into safety, but they add something else in there. dhurke has a moment where he says she didn’t initially believe his innocence. and it’s kind of just played as a joke.

but because i like conflict and i do not write dhurke the same hyper-toxic-masculine way they do in canon because i think Men Should Be Allowed To Have Feelings i thought. man that must fucking suck. everyone in the entire kingdom thinks he’s the devil, and the one person he’s been doing it all for the sake of - his wife - initially doubts his innocence. of course this is obviously an understandable response. she was basically trapped and gaslit for nearly a full decade over an event that nearly cost her her own life (and would have to instead come to terms with the fact her own sister wanted her dead) but like it still. it would still suck to hear that from your spouse?

they were together for under a year, and in this time rayfa was born. this is probably my favorite window of time to explore a dhurke and amara relationship adapting because they would be such different people now. time already effects how you personally grow and adapt, but the kind of horrors they went to would drastically change them both. neither of them would be the same kids they fell in love with, and dhurke had just shipped one of his kids to america in an attempt to protect him. he’d already be down bad, but to have to deal with that, his wife not fully trusting him, nahyuta not knowing their own mother and most likely not trusting her initially, and also an entire pregnancy... that’d be an incredible amount of stress, on top of the fact they’re both living under the law.

(sidebar; because of how weird they had to twist the timeline to make it so apollo was gone before rayfa was born so they never met, i tend to headcanon this as dhurke trying to send both his kids to america to protect them, but not being able to initially send nahyuta because of their royalty status, and it quickly becoming too late.)

something else that confused me was why the hell they’d even have another kid while they’re both trying to save themselves, and that... uh. okay maybe this is an unpopular thing to say in terms of headcanon, but i actually believe rayfa was an accidental birth. like logistically, if you see your wife for the first time in almost a decade, you’re going to do Something. and you don’t have protection in the mountains. i’m just. i’m just saying.

but all of that being said, more than anything, i think they’d still be in love during this point. or more accurately, i think they’d be trying to convince themselves they’re still in love. they wouldn’t be the same people anymore, but the only thing dhurke has left is his family. it’s the thing he’s fighting for, and amara would have just been told she can’t go back to her sister for her own safety. there’s this kind of pressure to stay together for both themselves and their kids. there’s also a part where dhurke implies that the two of them were planning on trying to escape khura’in together and cross country lines before shit hits the fan.

turnabout revolution

so if you’re a coward who actually considers canon, after rayfa and amara get kidnapped, dhurke never sees them again. sure, he gets spirit channeled by amara in the final trial, but he never sees her face to face, or gets a chance to speak with her. if you’re like me and simply refuse to believe your favorite characters die, then that means there’s a 14 year gap between the next time dhurke and amara speak to each other.

what’s the first thing amara does when they see each other again? accuse him of murder.

in fairness, she’s under threat of blackmail to do so. she’s trying to protect both her children at this point, and clearly had a role to play in inga’s murder herself that she doesn’t want to admit to. but at the same time, when apollo reveals that dhurke was actively hiding evidence because he still loved her, she seemed genuinely surprised. this revelation is the thing that gets her to actually go against ga’ran’s plot. there’s also the obvious point of her picking her children’s safety over dhurke’s entire revolution, and what he’s been working on for her sake for most of his life. and honestly I thinks she made the right and most understandable choice. the real part that makes me think they wouldn’t get back together after the events of soj (provided dhurke isn’t an epic ghost guy) is,

amara chooses her own safety over dhurke’s, while dhurke chooses her safety over his own.

dhurke’s a very hopeful character, a very jovial one. throughout all his screen time, there’s no point where he genuinely thinks nahyuta has betrayed him. there’s no point where he thinks apollo isn’t capable of handling the case without him. he clearly cares a lot about his family, and would do anything for them. this includes amara. he’s not asked to hide evidence for her sake, he just does it. at the risk of undermining his entire revolution and destroying it entirely, he tries to hide evidence that’d implicate his wife of murder.

amara’s more of a realist. she doesn’t give up information until she absolutely has to. she doesn’t even admit to loving dhurke until the last moment she’s on screen. the only lines in the game she has as herself are during the trial, and half the time she’s just telling everyone how horrible and awful and terrible her husband was. and again, i must say, this would probably suck to hear.

the aftermath

the country is kind of a little fucked after soj. sure, it ends on a positive note, kind of, but there’s both a lot of political stuff to fix. and a lot of family stuff to fix. dhurke basically has to rebuild his relationship with every single one of his family members (and in rayfa’s case, from scratch). while I do think marriage is important and stuff, I don’t think it’d be... the most important.

what i’m saying is i think they’d be friends. even if they stayed married, they’d have to relearn almost everything about each other. they haven’t seen each other in forever, and also amara just threw dhurke under the bus. that’d sting! i think he’d forgive her for that, but it’d sting. knowing your partner would have willingly let you and your entire cause go up in flames sucks. it all sucks. soj is a very downer aa game.

and also i value m/f friendship a lot. i value older adult relationships a lot. i value exploring unfortunate and uncomfortable themes in learning to grow as a person and dealing with your own trauma a lot. i think there’s a lot to explore in characters like dhurke and amara. alot of people prefer thinking about the relationships between nahyuta and apollo and rayfa as siblings, which is great! but... i don’t know. i really like fictional dads. i like thinking about him getting more time with his kids. i like thinking about amara learning to become a person instead of a revered goddess. i like them becoming real people instead of just figureheads in a political war.

also i think dhurke and datz should kiss because they raised kids together in the mountains for 20 years

#thanks for coming to. something #i think about dead side character so you don't have to #dhurke sahdmadhi #amara sigatar khura'in #soj spoilers

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sometimesrosy · 3 years

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hi rosie! I know it's been months since the 100 ended and I've seen lots of people talk about how they failed bellamy and clarke but I was wondering what you thought of raven and her storyline in s7. do you think it was good for her character and her story arc?

Ahh. Raven’s arc.

Yeah, so the problem with Raven’s arc is JR hasn’t known what to do with her since season 5. Season 4 was the last season with a good character arc for her, and even that one had a major character glitch as he tried to take her from the pragmatist who would blow up a bridge or dam or tell Clarke to kill Lxa while surrounded by her armies, to a person who said “it’s not your blood that matters, it’s your heart.” Which was one of the worst lines in this whole show. It’s not even funny like “we’re back bitches!” It’s just corny and soppy and dumb. Her character shift on science island always felt false to me. It should have been Bellamy who held Clarke in check with morality, since that had been HIS character arc. I thought it was a misstep then, and now knowing the entire narrative arc, I think it was where they started to go wrong with Raven. Until then she was my third favorite character after Clarke and Bellamy.

I ALWAYS had a problem with this, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt that they could pull it out. Season 5 was the least bad for her, with her sacrifice for spacekru on the ship, but honestly I didn’t think they went far enough with that. I feel like they should have explored her feelings of guilt more at not being able to get her friends home, or leaving Clarke behind alone. And there was great potential in the scene where she and Clarke took McCreary down using her own body as the weapon (especially for a character whose body was always in pain and whose body had failed her... idk that’s quite some symbolism there,) but instead they chose to retreat and turn her back into the judgmental shrew that told Bellamy he shouldn’t have saved the slaves, and told Clarke she was the one who said whether everyone lived or died.

So like. She never addressed with Clarke what happened with Finn at his death. The blame she put on Clarke, when SHE wanted to instigate a war that would have had them all exterminated, including Finn. For some reason, the genius couldn’t connect those dots that her plan would have caused all of her people to massacred? I mean, it’s normal for her to have that failure in such a time of high emotion, but six years later, she still thinks Clarke was wrong to do what she did? No. Plot hole. Forgetting all the times that she enabled Clarke’s plans, or eagerly set about torturing and killing (remember SHE’S the one who electrified Lincoln without a BIT of the remorse that Clarke and Bellamy had,) is a failure of character.

Also, she never addressed the FACT that she wanted to trade Murphy to the grounders for Finn’s life and have him tortured to death in place of her boyfriend who was a literal mass murderer, AND she blamed Murphy for Finn’s actions when Murphy was the one trying to stop him the whole time. And THIS is a plot hole for a character arc and narrative line that was about Raven having learning about forgiveness and morality and leadership and sacrifice and hard decisions, and making judgments on Murphy, who frankly has been one of the most moral characters of the show since season 2. His morality might not be the SAME as everyone else’s, but it was the most firm. So, this narrative arc again did not go FAR enough.

In season 5, I figured that they would make up for the s5 scanty Raven storyline with a stronger s6 one.. That didn’t happen. I thought maybe it was because her love interest left, so she took on his judgmental role, but it didn’t work well. I also thought that part of the problem was that it would make her into too big of a character and they needed to keep the focus on the main characters, Clarke and Bellamy. But from s5-7 MURPHY got a large role, too, that brought a thorough narrative arc and finished out his character journey. So he got the focus that they never managed for Raven. I hear tell that Richard helped Murphy’s story in season 7, so that might be why. But idk. It shows that they were capable of finishing a character story with attention and detail, but they just failed with Raven.

So season 7 had Raven confronting her own leadership and putting her in Clarke’s place to face the judgment she put on Clarke. And...oh she was sad and felt guilt and had to face the repercussions of that. But... it didn’t go far enough. She was reunited with Clarke and was no longer angry at her, and they were a team again. But this wasn’t HER story arc. Her story arc just kind of went *sad trombone.*

I know she was the one who went into the anomaly and met with the sparkle aliens, but that just seemed so forced and fake. Yes, they built up the morality narrative, but... like. It should have been Clarke. Instead they turned her into the crazy vengeance lady, like Daenerys, even though her entire narrative was about her dealing with her pain and she kind of never killed anyone in vengeance? I mean she spent 6 years ALONE and she only wanted to kill herself? IDK. It doesn’t make sense that THIS was the end. She sent madi into battle too save Bellamy and that did make her crazy lady. She had her after death reckoning and we saw no crazy lady.

Sorry, that went off into failure of Clarke’s story.

How did that affect Raven? I think that from about season 3, Raven was used as a substitute to fill in gaps where they lost characters, or moved characters around. Where they changed their narrative ideas, and they needed a narrative tool to do something, they would stick Raven in... because she was a strong character who was involved with all the other main characters (except maybe Octavia.) She became like a swiss army knife who would take the place of characters that were needed but didn’t fit. And that meant that HER character was not really consistent in the later half of the series. And it feels WRONG. Someone’s judgy? Make it Raven. Someone’s empathetic? Make it Raven. Someone’s mean? Make it Raven. Someone’s righteous? Make it Raven. Someone’s a sister? Make it Raven. Someone’s a daughter? Make it Raven. Some main character needs a supporting character to prop them up? Make it Raven. They just moved her around to fit the other character’s stories. Even her big morality arc was to support Abby, Clarke, or Murphy. :/ THAT’S why it didn’t work when they made her the Clarke proxy in the transcendence narrative. Because she hadn’t actually worked through HER story, but through Abby’s Clarke’s and Murphy’s. Bleh.

And she also basically disappeared in a lot of season 7, too. Same as Octavia. Who had her story with Sky Ring and skyringkru, but then disappeared until she gave the inspiring peace speech with the goddamn petty, dumbass stupid grounders, whose main flaw FROM SEASON 1, is that they are too stupid to have survived this long. All they want to do is fight. And blame everyone else for what they did. And the eligius prisoners, and the brainless cult sheep. Honestly.

And what do we have? The most unnuanced, flat character in the show. Sheidheda. Like there isn’t even any symbolism or archetypal energy in there. He’s just there to make them fight for NO FUCKING REASON.

These are the characters who had decent story arcs that were resolved.

Murphy and Emori Diyoza Gabriel And Indra a bit. Better than most.

Fucking DEV had a better character ending than Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, and Octavia.

Actually, Mackson was satisfying, although skimpy. But then the characters didn’t have a really deep narrative line, so their ending was in keeping with their story. But it fit with their long term stated goals, what they wanted out of life. Just to be together in peace with maybe some chickens, by the shore, right? That was THEIR goal. The ending was theirs.

That was never what any of the other characters wanted. Or not ONLY. Do the right thing. Live a good life. Create a better society. Save humanity. Be good people. Live morally.

nope. But it worked for Murphy’s ending too. He didn’t want to die alone. He died, with Emori. Then he came back and got to life his half life with his friends.

I just can’t get over how they tossed the main story of being the good guys and saving humanity. I suppose there was always the question of whether they’d get a happy ending emotionally, but I never thought they’d destroy humanity, erase Bellamy and say Clarke was never the hero.

I guess I needed to address the endings of the other characters to see how they all fit in with Raven’s. Because none of the characters stood on their own, so we have to see how they were woven together and compare and contrast.

Raven was my biggest disappointment as a character in this show from season 5 on. I kept waiting for her character arc to come together or get the attention Murphy got. She had the weight to be major character, but her story just wasn’t told. She became a supporting character and really lacked meaningful development.

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mrsdobrik · 4 years

Note

Heey, love your writing! Sorry if its too specific, but can I request something where the reader is an engineer (or something along those lines) and david is fascinated by your job and what you do that he keeps bragging about it to his friends and on the podcast like "my girlfriend's a smart cookie" idk i feel like he would be so prouuud

I’m terribly sorry to any engineers or future engineers out there who might read this highly inaccurate piece of fiction. I am a woman of letters not numbers thus engineering to me is a rather abstract concept. Any how, I shall try so I hope you enjoy!

Y/n’s nose had for about a week been burried in a stack of papers and photocopies, a pencil was perpetually held in her hair so she could now and again take it out to scribble on whatever she was reading. This type of behavior took over her life from time to time and it always meant the same thing, the answer was close.

It was, however, the first time it happened since she had moved in with her boyfriend. And, of course, this change in behavior picked his interest.

“What are you doing?” He asked, taking a peak over her shoulder.

“I’m... trying to create a voice box” She replied, her eyes still fixated on the paper.

“How?” He looked at her with curiosity in his eyes.

“Well, that’s the problem, that and the fact that to be able to learn to talk you have to be quite young, like a child, and that if it were to be implanted into a child it would have to adapt to the child’s growth.” She smiled at him.

“And are you close to finding out how?” David kept asking. He grabbed one of the papers of the top and looked though all the scribbles and doodles.

“I hope so, god knows I need to stop drinking coffee and get a proper night of sleep.” She chuckled.

“How are you so smart?”

Y/n laughed. “I went to college and read a bunch of books, they are like food for your brain.”

“Yeah, but a lot of people go to college and not everyone is out there helping kids become Iron Man” He beamed at her, his expression filled with pride.

“Let me get this straight, I went through six years of college so you can describe my job as a biomedical engineer as helping kids become Iron Man. Weirdly enough I’m fine with that” She chuckled.

“So...” David started, he had that look on his face like a kid on Christmas morning, but one who got a flamethrower from Santa and is about to burn the house down.

“No, David. I can’t make you an Iron Man suit” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Not even...”

“Nope, not even the glasses.” She completed his thought and pecked his lips before getting back to work.

...

“So... yesterday I found out what my girlfriend actually does for a living... so, I thought she just kind of did something math related. Turns out, she fucking turns people into cyborgs.” David spoke into the mic.

“Guys, just a quick disclaimer, Y/n is an engineer in the medical field, she does not turn people into cyborgs, despite how much David would like that.” Jason laughed at his statement.

“Yes he does bro! I swear! I asked her yesterday what she was doing and guess what? She was designing a fucking voice box. She said she couldn’t turn me into Iron Man, I already asked, but I think she might be able to and she just doesn’t want to tell me.” David frowned at the last part.

“How is it that you of all people ended up with her? I mean it’s insane, she is out there inventing things that will literally save people’s lives and you are here... recording this podcast”

“Oh, trust me, I’ve been asking that to myself all day. She is insanely smart. And you know what, she is also funny and a nice person. Like, how does that happen? I feel like it should be illegal. Like when god was making her he was like, okay so she is going to be outstandingly beautiful and have a great sense of humor and she is going to be a nice person but she is going to be a dumb dumb, you know kind of like how he made me, but then he picked the wrong fucking bottle and made her smart too!”

“She is going to love this.” Jason laughed.

“I’m serious Jay. Like isn’t it crazy? I know I might be partial because I’m fucking so in love with her, but truly from an outside perspective, isn’t she like insanely amazing?”

“Well, maybe she made herself Iron Man. Like, have you seen that movie about the wives that turn into perfect cyborgs?... The stepford wives. Maybe she turned herself into a cyborg and made herself perfect.”

“Well but shouldn’t there be like a scar or something? Cause trust me I’ve seen every inch and there are no signs of her having possibly turned into a cyborg. Also wouldn’t she like, be stopped at TSA? We’ve travelled together before and she always walked through the metal detector just fine.” David debunked his own theory.

“Maybe you should ask her to replace your brain for one that actually works” Jason laughed.

“Maybe you should ask her to replace your body for one that actually works, you fat fuck!” David teased back.

“Oh fuck you!”

“You should not be insulting me right now, my cyborg girlfriend might have laser eyesight and use it to destroy you.”

#david dobrik #david dobrik x you #david dobrik x reader #david dobrik imagine #david dobrik blurb

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todomitoukei · 3 years

Note

Since it was Dabi’s Bday recently I’d like to share some thoughts/ideas/headcanons about him. I hope you don’t mind, I rlly love your blog.

The flowers Rei thought she received from Enji were actually from Touya, because despite everything, this boy still loves his mom. He cannot resent her for what happened because he knows they were more or less in the same boat and she did try to protect him, which is also why I like to think that at the end of Dabi’s reveal video, when he’s done talking, he stands up to turn off the camera and just before the video cuts out you can hear a whispered “I’m sorry, mom” and the screen goes black. The volume needs to be on max to hear it, which is why most ppl missed it.

I saw this theory that Dabi actually does have 2 quirks, which is how he survived the accident and got his scars. (I didn’t quite get the logistics and I don’t believe it but it’s an interesting concept imo.) The theory is that he got his scars because his body cracked, the way a frozen mug would crack if u filled it with hot liquid. (Skin seems too stretchy to just crack like that tho so idk.) This would explain why his scars are so clean-cut and still need to be stapled. Also, his scars look more like frostbites rather than burn marks but idk. He totally has some form of chronic pain from his scars, or at least from the staples pulling on his skin.

He acts cold towards the LOV members, although he enjoys their company after a long time of being on his own, because he’s scared of getting close to ppl and starting to care cuz he knows how it feels to lose everything he cares about. He doesn’t want to feel what he felt when he had to leave his family ever again.

I rlly think Touya and Keigo knew each other as kids; not necessarily as friends but they’ve talked enough to exchange names at least once. I imagine this happening a bit before Enji caught Hawks’ dad, Keigo finding a patched-up kid near a park, asking him what happened, exchanging names and talking a bit, maybe playing in the park for the afternoon, and not seeing each other again. Just enough interaction for Hawks to later wonder “what happened to that battered kid?”. Dabi recognized him when they met years later during the manga time, he didn’t trust Hawks because his general rule is to not trust anybody, but deep down he hoped. (sry this is my DBHWK addiction talking, ignore this)

After the accident, he had to live on the streets and fend for himself for years, so he’s seen a lot of shit after that, which earned him 1) more trauma, 2) critical and cynical thinking, 3) limited amount of empathy and trust issues, 4) the admirable ability to call out BS like the drama queen he is.

And one thing that bothers me logistically is that we know Touya’s body was not made for a fire quirk as strong as his, but, that could’ve easily been solved with support gear? Like a protective costume to cool his body and limit the fire output to only his hands?? Why tf didn’t Enji bother to provide his oldest kid (who showed much promise to become a hero, mind u) with the proper resources he obv needed? I’m kinda salty abt this ngl.

Anyway, I’m done here. I hope you don’t mind me venting out these ideas. I rlly like ur blog and I felt like you and the lil community u’ve gathered here could appreciate most of these. <3

Thank you so much<3 I’m really happy about all these messages and all the interaction from you guys, it’s much appreciated!

I really love those theories, too! The theory of the flowers actually being from Dabi is one of my favorites. Also the “I’m sorry, mom” hello??? Yeah, I didn’t need a heart anyway, thank you....... :(

The frozen mug, though... a funnier mental image than it should be.

Totally agree with the LOV thing. I really think that part of him is just too fixated on his goals to destroy Endeavor that he can’t really care/think about anyone else, but I also do think that a part of him actively tries to avoid people and the risk of starting to care about them. If you think about how he most likely is aware that an attempt at killing Shouto or Endeavor would also probably result in his own death, he might not want to get attached to anyone because what if he gets second thoughts then? Or what if he dies and they then get sad about it? And he just knows that his faked death hurt his family (that whole “thought so hard about it I went crazy”), so him dying would now also hurt the LOV, therefore he tries not to get close so their pain won’t be as bad as it could be?

Endeavor definitely could’ve helped him, but we’re talking about the guy who gave up on trying to reach his goals after like two years LMAO. Just cannot take this man seriously. They definitely could’ve figured out a way. I mean, Dabi did more or less figure out a way on his own. He uses larger attacks right away and then gets into people’s heads as his secret weapon and as a way to take a little break from overheating. Imagine how proper support items could help him.

Heroes (and U.A.) focus far too much on their quirks and too little on all the other important skills needed for the job - just look at Uraraka who learned some basic self-defense at her internship, which then saved her life against Toga in the summer camp arc. Meanwhile, U.A. only lets them have some weird P.E. class where all they do is just use their quirks instead of being taught more basic fighting/survival skills? Heroes are just weird, and their education is a joke.

#thanks for sharing those theories♥#dabi #ask #Anonymous

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the-phoenix-heart · 3 years

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How do Deku and Bakugou interact with both being double Lion ?

Oooh boy here comes my rant about platonic Bakudeku and their double Lions! (I also just finished watching Heroes Rising so my BakuDeku feels are stronger than usual-cause I’m a multishipper)

First of all, I feel the need to double down on Deku’s primary. He is a Lion primary. Does he want to save people-yes, but there are things about his character you have to consider. Mainly, he’s more focused on the goal of becoming the number one hero and saving people, than the people he wants to save. He doesn’t bond with communities, he bonds with the individuals he meets. But, he does think it’s the right way to live, so Badger primary model.

And boy howdy do they interact with their double Lions.

Bakugou for the longest time was a Glory-Hound Lion. He wanted to be the strongest there ever was and he wanted to be on top of everyone else. But, deep down he always felt like he was missing something. What he was missing was that Paragon Lion that Deku had. He liked his Glory-Hound Lion and he didn’t understand that you could have both. And he saw not naturally having a Paragon Lion as a weakness in himself, which is why he bullied him (doesn’t justify it but y’know it’s called character development.

Deku meanwhile admired Bakugou’s Glory-Hound Lion. He saw Bakugou’s hunger for power and love of strength, and how it made Bakugou powerful and strong and he loved Bakugou for it (platonically! possibly...).

But they couldn’t understand each other. Bakugou at the time couldn’t let go of his Glory-Hound Lion out of stubbornness and Deku couldn’t understand that his Paragon Lion was causing Bakugou to lash out. Notice, Bakugou only started to grow as a person when Deku left him alone more.

Now, Bakugou did become friends with Kirishima-another double Lion with a Paragon Lion primary-but it was not Deku’s Paragon Lion. Bakugou grew up with Deku and his Paragon Lion and so he couldn’t accept it at the time, but Kirishima (who is has a small dose of Glory-Hound in him) was able to get through.

And their secondaries, ever since the first scene of the show they’ve been standing on opposite sides facing each other down. Bakugou did not like how similar he and Deku were despite their differences, which is why Bakugou burned Deku’s secondary. Once Deku’s secondary was burned Deku turned to a Bird secondary model, which ironically Bakugou probably saw and thought, ‘I can do that better.’ Bakugou then used his Bird secondary model to bolster his own Lion secondary.

And of course we have to talk about how their relationship with All Might relates to their sorting. Bakugou looked at All Might and saw a Glory-Hound Lion primary. This vision was wrong. While seeing that All Might was not wrong, he was wrong in assuming that’s whole All Might was. Deku saw All Might and his Badger primary, and copied it.

And now we get to the Sludge Villain incident, where Bakugou is in trouble and Deku’s secondary unburns all in one day. This is when Bakugou starts to vaguely respect Deku, and it’s because of his secondary and how he just rushed in. It’s also because he doesn’t want to be in debt, but he still has some respect for him.

Except what little respect there was shatters when he thinks Deku has lied to him. Lying is very important to Bakugou, in that he refuses to lie and if you lie to him he’ll kick your ass. Bakugou is pissed and immediately rushes in to fight him about it like the Lion secondary he is, and gets stopped.

Then the first fight in Ground Beta happens, and we see their Lion secondaries really colliding with each other for the first time, they yell at each other and throw punches. Their first fight was not a pretty fight emotionally at all, it was ugly and taxing for both of them.

We see it clearly on Bakugou’s face that his primary took a hit. He’s literally having a panic attack over losing. His primary isn’t burnt, but it has not escaped the fight unscathed. Failure goes against everything he knows about himself (as a gifted kid I relate), if he has failed who the fuck is he?! He gets over this by using his Lion secondary to drag himself out. If he just proclaims that he’s going to be the number one and surpass All Might then it’s gotta be true.

And you see it even more clearly in the Sport Festival. At the beginning of the arc he proclaims to the entire country that he’s going to win. I can never get over this because it’s basically him forcing himself to win. If he fails then he’s a hypocrite and no one wants to be a hypocrite. Once again he uses his blunt Lion secondary to drag himself along. The idea that you can rely on you secondary to keep your primary from burning...that’s kind of beautiful, but I think you can only do that with an improvisational primary.

And in the Sports Festival you see their secondaries on clear display. Especially Deku who breaks his body and yells at a guy until the guy faces years of Mommy and Daddy issues and severe trauma. Bakugou meanwhile fights everyone until his match against Todoroki.

Todoroki is a Snake primary, who’s unsure what his quirk means to him since he’s just now faced his trauma. Bakugou, a Double Lion, gets pissed off when Todoroki ignores him because he’s his opponent and he deserves his attention. Bakugou proves just how un-Snake he is by telling Todoroki that his family and feelings don’t matter and all that matters is the fight. It almost seems like Todoroki has listened.

Until the match happens and Bakugou fights and yells at him to use his fire aspect of his quirk. Todoroki only uses his quirk when Deku, house matched with Bakugou, does the exact same thing. Todoroki does it because it was Deku, someone he had bonded with told him. But, then he still can’t do it for understandable reasons. Bakugou finds out he won the fight, but Todoroki didn’t use his fire and that pisses him off more than anything. The idea that he didn’t win the fight fair and square is painful and pisses him off more than anything. He wasn’t more powerful than Todoroki, Todoroki just held back. That’s not a real win.

and then the school chains him to the podium and forces him to take the medal on national tv BUT THAT’S A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER DAY

(also All Might has no idea how to handle a Lion primary that isn’t modeling Badger. “Take this medal as a wound,” no All Might you’re just gonna mess him up further! He’s not SUPPOSED to be wounded!)

Then there comes the fight against All Might where they have to work together. This is after the internship arc, where Bakugou had a Snake secondary pushed on him (which he did not accept) and Deku finally got control of his power and leveled up. Bakugou sees this and it terrifies him. Why is Deku’s Double Lion loved by all but his is hated? For a while Bakugou doesn’t even try to get along with Deku and just beat All Might himself. Then he accepts defeat because he doesn’t want to fight alongside Deku-to him that would be admitting that he is weak. And Deku does the only thing he can think of to get Bakugou to listen-he punches him and says “LET’S WIN THIS KACCHAN!” Because fuck my emotions.

And then they yell at each other, Deku trying to hype up Bakugou and Bakugou because LISTEN UP WE ARE GONNA WORK TOGETHER MY WAY! And even as they are fight/running from All Might they’re yelling at each other, but it works. They think on the fly and Bakugou fights All Might with all he has until he’s broken. And then Deku, about to win, turns away for a moment and sees Bakugou nearly passed out under All Might and does the most badass thing ever and PUNCHES ALL MIGHT RIGHT IN THE FACE!! HIS OWN MENTOR!! Just so he can save Bakugou. It’s beautiful.

(Now is a good time to mention I’m writing this to the soundtrack for Heroes Rising and IT FUCKING SLAPS-or that’s just me loving instrumentals)

Then Bakugou gets kidnapped, and a little detour, Deku fully understands that he cannot be the one to reach out to Bakugou. Kirishima has to be the one because Bakugou trusts him. Kirishima and him are friends and Bakugou will let him save him, and Deku recognizes that.

And then Kacchan vs. Deku part 2 happens, and it is the most Double Lion fight ever. Bakugou is literally venting his feelings at Deku by screaming and exploding him. Deku in turn is explaining how he has always admired Bakugou by yelling back and punching him. And this is another reason why he think he’s a Lion primary: Deku admired Bakugou not because he was kind or cared about people, but because Bakugou was strong and determined-those are Lion traits he admired.

He also says he starts to talk like Bakugou when he gets really into a fight-which makes sense since his Lion secondary was burned for so long and Bakugou was his main example for years. Rip me.

By the way, Bakugou’s primary had officially burned before this fight. He literally asks if he was wrong to try and emulate All Might the way he did, why he had to be the one to destroy All Might. But, the fight with Deku and winning helps him unburn, or at least recover.

And then pretty much nothing happens in the show for season four but EVERYTHING happens in Heroes Rising and the manga and I can’t TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE SPOILERS BUT TRUST ME THESE DOUBLE LIONS KEEP DOUBLE LIONING IT UP (and also possibly falling in love idk i’m an equal opportunitist with Kiribaku and Bakudeku)!!

#sortinghatchats #sorting hat chats #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugou #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bnha #mha #this is a load of word vomit and i'm okay with that #because at the end of the day i talked about platonic bakudeku #and lion primaries which i'm starting to realize...might be my favorites?#noooo i'm supposed to hate myself and my primary!!! I'm burned!!

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bard-llama · 3 years

Text

WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche.

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche.

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired.

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche.

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military.

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow, it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth��s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in).

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill.

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing.

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it.

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first).

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does.

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening.

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.”

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about!

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #the witcher #don't cry for me temeria #wip wednesday #my fics #WiPs #yeah it's not wednesday but whatever i finished the list

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tardytothepardy · 3 years

Text

My Review of "A Court of Silver Flames" (because it's too long for Goodreads)

~`,Spoiler-free summary/review idk,`~

In "A Court of Silver Flames", the story centers around two characters that were previously in the "A Court of Thorns and Roses" series, Cassian and Nesta. As far as I can tell, this story takes place about a year after "A Court of Frost and Starlight", where Nesta is in a bad mental state. To cope with the events in "A Court of War and Ruin", she has taken to excessive drinking and sleeping with random people. The members of the Inner Court allowed her to do this for a while, but as the book begins, it is made clear that they won't let her do that anymore. It is decided that she will be taken to the House of Wind, along with Cassian and Azriel, so she can be separated from everything and heal. The reasoning behind putting Nesta in the House of Wind is that the only ways anyone can easily go to or leave the house is by flying or winnowing, neither of which are things she can do. There is a set of 10,000 stairs that she can take, but seeing as they are 10,000 stairs, it's pretty difficult.

Throughout the story, Nesta is forced to come to terms with her difficult memories and her powers, which she has pushed away in an effort to retain as much of her prior humanity as she can. It is soon revealed that her powers are connected to three ancient magical items, collectively called the "Dread Trove", and Nesta is tasked to find as many as she can to keep Briallyn, one of the human queens, who has a similar connection to the items, from obtaining them and wielding powers that could completely destroy the world.

While all of this is going on, it is revealed that Feyre is pregnant. It isn't all happy news, however, because it seems that complications (of the deadly variety) have become known, and no one knows what to do to save her (let alone herself because she's not even aware of it hooray Rice Hand you're doing fabulously).

I think as a whole, one thing that this book struggled with is pacing. For the majority of the book, I didn't feel that the characters were actively trying to stop The Bad Guys, it almost felt that they took action every so often, as if they randomly remembered that these events are happening. Most of the book is focused on the development of the relationship between Cassian and Nesta, and everything else falls around that, which would be fine if the other events were of a smaller scale, like planning a party or something (idk lmao), rather than the fate of literally the <i>entire world</i>, both the Fae and human world. A lot of the things that happened in this book seemed like they were resolved within the last 50 pages of the book, one after another, it just felt odd.

(spoilers for the entire book below the "keep reading"!)

~`,Spoilers from here on out,`~

So like I said in the beginning, it starts with Nesta in her house. It's from Cassian's point of view, so I got to endure two things that really fucking irritated me: first was where she was living. It was a similar line of thought from the "ACOFAS" description, that Velaris doesn't have slums, but if it did have a slum, Nesta would be living in it. But it doesn't have slums, but this place is still icky. Cassian acknowledges that he's stayed in worse, but this place is still icky, yucky, blecky, and gross. Second thing that irritated me was when he first saw her. He describes her as having "long bare legs, an elegant sweep of hips, tapered waist--too damn thin--and full, inviting breasts that were at odds with the new, sharp angles of her body" (10). She was thin, very thin, but not her boobs. Nope, those badonks were still (somehow) plenty large. This might be the fault of me trying to understand Fae bodies by comparing them to human bodies, but I simply do not understand how that is supposed to work. Boobs are made of fats and tissues, if you're losing weight, you're gonna lose boob. Whatever.

Cassian proceeds to take Nesta to one of (apparently 5. Rice Hand and Feyre have five houses, why) Feyre's houses, where it is soon made clear that an intervention is being staged. This has to be one of the worse ones out there, because oh my fucking god everyone is so goddamn hostile towards Nesta. Amren and Nesta were previously friendly, then they had an unresolved (and unexplained) falling out, and now holy shit Amren is constantly baiting Nesta, making snide remarks. Rice Hand seems to be offended by Nesta simply because she doesn't like him or Feyre, like I don't get why he's so aggressive towards her (and that shit continues for the majority of the book it's so annoying), but somehow everyone there is surprised when Nesta is aggressive, that she throws insults, that she's rude.

Anyway, after Nesta is toted to the House, she instantly tries to find a way out, and that's when the 10,000 stairs come in. (Tangent, in the book it says that the stairs are about a foot tall each. 10,000, 1 foot tall stairs. That would mean the House of Wind is at least 10,000ft tall, but seeing as the House has multiple levels, it's even taller than that. This building is so goddamn tall, did Maas even think about that? It's nonsensical! Anyway) She tries to go down them, but she fails miserably. She's underweight, I wouldn't be surprised if she's malnourished, she's in no state to climb down 10,000 stairs.

So that's where the training comes in. Cassian takes her to Windhaven, an Illyrian camp (place thing idk), to train, but she just refuses. After 3 days of her not doing anything, Cassian is ready to throw in the towel (I thought,,, I would think that since he's had to discipline out-of-line soldiers before he'd do better than 3 fucking days but whatever), but then he remembers what she's said about it all three of those times, that she's not gonna do it in front of everyone (because if you didn't remember, the Illyrians are massively sexist and so of course no one has anything better to do than gather round to see some random woman attempt to train but whatever), so he just has her train within the House. One top of the House, it seems. I don't know how big this House is supposed to be, but the roof at least would have to be huge to allow for multiple people to train and work out, spaced out evenly, and not be at risk for falling off. But he has her train there, issue resolved.

What is this training, you may ask? It's just basic stuff, like stretching, balance, strength training, and eventually grappling with so much sexual tension you can barely see your hand in front of your face (it's like a fog as far as I'm concerned), casual stuff.

Along with this training, Nesta is also assigned to work in the library, which is also a sort of refuge or something for a bunch of priestesses who have survived various forms of abuse or assault. It's one big safe space that also has old ass books. Sounds great. She has to work there for six hours, I believe, everyday, along with the training, and at the library she meets someone named Gwyn. Gwyn is a priestess, she's been there for a little while (it doesn't actually say how long, now that I think about it) and fun fact, she's a quarter river nymph. The person she works under is shown using that fact as an insult, but only once, because then Nesta lets her eyes go silver, which freaks them out, and then Gwyn doesn't have to deal with it anymore.

Speaking of silver eyeballs, let's talk about her powers. What are they, how do they work? What are the limits of her powers, etc.? It's not really stated, beyond vague stuff of her powers being derived from something ancient, before the Fae's time, and that she's really powerful. At one point in the book when Rice Hand had to go into her mind (she was having night terrors), he described her powers as "pure death". On one occasion as she was trying to go down the 10,000 steps (which is a recurring thing throughout the whole book), she fell partway down and when she caught herself, she saw that she somehow burned her handprint into the stone. At another point when she's a good way into her training, she's punching something and it is later shown that she again burned through the wood (it was a piece of wood wrapped in cloth which sounds like an absolute delight to punch for a sustained period of time), but somehow the burn mark was cold? Much later in the book she literally un-alives someone, like she didn't kill them, she regressed their age so much that they were un-alive. (She basically hit the "undo" button on their life) Additionally, since her powers that she got from the Cauldron have connected her to the "Dread Trove" items, she is able to find them very easily and use them without issue. With all this information, it's still not clear as to what the limits to her power are. I suppose she is the limitation, because she could choose to use her power to gather the items of the "Dread Trove" and use them to manipulate worlds and time and fucking death itself, but she doesn't. And honestly I'm not sure how I feel about that, I'm kinda iffy on the idea of a character having seemingly unlimited power (especially when they only use it a handful of times, if at all), but I suppose it doesn't really matter because by the end of the story, she gives back most of her power to the Cauldron anyway, so any questions about that are just,,, thrown to the wind.

The characters in this story were a pretty mixed bag. I can say full-heartedly that I did not like Rhysand (there, I said his actual name instead of Rice Hand, Rice Hand is funnier to me). I don't think I've ever particularly liked him, he was too smarmy for my liking, and then when we got a look into his mind courtesy of ACOFAS, all I got out of it was that whatever is going on in his head does not match his outwardly appearance and demeanor whatsoever. (On the outside, he seems like he'd be the one to smirk a lot, probably use lots of sarcasm, on the inside it seems like if someone said "boobs" he'd start laughing uncontrollably. Like, it's weird. Idk what was going on in that book, it was weird.) But in this book, I did not like him, from the beginning. He was so hostile, so aggressive towards Nesta, at any given moment. I don't know if he had any sympathy at all for her situation, because he certainly didn't act like it. At anything Nesta would do, he would push back.

For example, when Gwyn decided to join Nesta in her training, Rice Hand said in her mind to not do anything (in the book, he said, "You are to treat Gwyn with kindness and respect." (pg. 304)), and the whole thing angers me for two reasons, the first being that Nesta's kindness was the reason that Gwyn was there in the first place. Which leads to the second reason, that it seems that Rice Hand is so convinced that Nesta is an unlikable person that she couldn't have possibly made friends (or at least friendly acquaintances) during her time at the House and working in the library.

Following that remark, Nesta noted that it seemed that Rice Hand didn't particularly like the fact that she and Cassian were a thing, which also ticks me off. Am I a huge fan of Cassian and Nesta being together? They're fine, but it's again that idea that she couldn't have possibly warmed up to someone that she has to be around the majority of the time, and maybe someone that doesn't default their mentality of her as "whatever she's doing, it's wrong/bad". To give credit to Cassian, he did figure out that Rice Hand said something to her and chided him for doing so. He actually caught Rice Hand doing it a few more times within the book and got after him about it those times, which is nice.

But that's not the only reason why I specifically did not like Rice Hand in this book. There's another thing he did which I feel is so much worse than what he did or said to Nesta. That thing would be that he kept information about Feyre from Feyre, specifically about her own pregnancy. Now, I said in the beginning that she had a troubled pregnancy. Basically, her baby had wings, but her body wouldn't be able to safely deliver the baby because of those wings. Before you ask "Hey, doesn't Feyre have shape-shifting powers?" or "What about a c-section?", Maas tucked away those easy solutions by saying that Madja, the person overseeing Feyre's pregnancy, told her that shape-shifting might put the baby at risk for more complications, and as far as the c-section thing goes, they just uh, they just haven't seemed to figure out how to do that. These Fae people live for hundreds of years and no one has ever figured out how to properly do a c-section, I guess. Additionally, it seems that Illyrian wings are particularly special, compared to the wings of the other two groups of winged Fae, Seraphim and Peregyrn, because whereas the wings of the Seraphims or Peregryns can move, allowing for an easier birth, apparently (for some fucking reason) Illyrian wings are bony? Like, in utero, they're already bony and difficult to move, which is where all those complications come in.

He told none of this to Feyre. All she knew about her own pregnancy, was that there might be some complications, she didn't know that there was a gigantic mortality rate with pregnancies like this, nothing like that. He purposely kept this information from her, it seems that the whole fucking Inner Court voted on it, or some shit. When Feyre was told of this whole thing from Nesta, Amren said it was to protect Feyre, to keep her from getting stressed or scared, which could worsen things further. But I counter that Amren, with this: How fucking scared do you think Feyre would have been, when she was in labor and everything, and things were rapidly spiraling out of control? She would have been terrified! Don't you think that would've affected something, because I fucking think it would have! Was there ever any intent to tell her about this, or did all of them just decide to never tell her?

The reason why Nesta told Feyre about it was to hurt her, initially, but it was also because she found out that the Inner Court had made a decision about her, personally, because she had accidentally made more "Dread Trove" items by imbuing her power in three swords that she made while at a blacksmith. She found out (via Cassian's absolutely terrible way of bringing up the swords she made) that they were planning to take them away (or something, I don't specifically remember), and that's when she went to Amren's place and demanded more information. When Feyre was brought to intervene, Nesta told Feyre what Cassian had told her (despite the fact that he was totally supposed to keep that a secret but whatever dude). Feyre was shocked, understandably, but she wasn't angry at Nesta for that, and I can't tell you how happy I was about that, I am so happy that Feyre wasn't angry at Nesta for telling her about this. She actually was angry at the other people for deciding to keep this information from her. I just,, I'm really happy that she wasn't angry at Nesta. Everyone else, on the other hand, was fucking pissed at her, including Rice Hand. He was absolutely livid, but the funny thing is, that I don't give a shit, honestly. He should have never kept that a secret in the first place.

I think as a whole, his behavior is explained away because "his mate is pregnant", so I guess he has full clearance to be obnoxious and aggressive and withhold information without the knowledge of all parties involved. What happened to always giving Feyre a choice, Rhysand? What happened to that? Did she only get a choice when you decided to give her one? Because that is certainly what this felt like.

Another thing that Rice Hand did that I would place in between his bullshit against Nesta and his bullshit against Feyre, is another thing that he did to Feyre. So, back in ACOTAR, I believe, when Feyre was still with Tamlin, Tamlin infamously trapped Feyre in a huge magical bubble, where she couldn't leave Tamlin's house. Everyone agreed that that wasn't the best thing for Tamlin to do, and Tamlin's punishment was completely equal to the evils he committed, one-hundred percent. (Not really, now he's stuck in his beast form, roaming the Spring Court in a state of anger and pain. Sympathy for him is quite the commodity in the books.) But what does any of this have to do with Rice Hand? Well, he basically did the same thing to Feyre, except rather than being stuck in a building, the shield is on her, and it's so strong that even her friends can't touch her without being hit by the shield. And when she's asked about it, Feyre just says that Rice Hand learned how to make shields from Helion, the High Lord of the Summer Court, and like,,,, is testing them out on her?? And we're all supposed to think this is fine? The shield is so intense that they can't even smell her (which is a thing, in this series. Fae people can smell other people, they have scents, idk man I'm just going with it), so effectively he's masking her entire existence, and no one has a problem with it. It's weird. It's not as bad as the pregnancy thing, but it's still not great.

I suppose since I'm talking about characters, I should talk about Cassian and Nesta, seeing as they did totally, undeniably become a Thing in this book. Idk how to really go about it, honestly. For the majority of the book, at least one of them was sure that the other didn't like them, or that they weren't deserving to be with the other, so that was fun. I don't particularly remember when, but at some point they both just,,, decided? to have casual sex, that it meant nothing (when it did, in fact, mean something), and it was like,,, a way of distancing themselves from the other. That is particularly the case with Nesta, who felt guilty for constantly pushing Cassian away at basically every turn. Apparently her attention was caught on him from like,,, the first time that she even saw him, way back when she and Elain were still human, in their cottage. She didn't love him or anything, but it was a Notice.

Despite that Notice, she still pushed him away, as I said, because she just didn't feel like she was good enough. Over the course of the book, Nesta quickly became ashamed of the life she had been living since being put in the Cauldron, which was all the drinking and sex (and that's it? Like, a lot of people in this book made it out to be this whole thing but I think that's basically all she did. Part of me feels like the main reason the Inner Court was so bothered by it in the first place was that she was billing it to them, who really wouldn't even notice the money spent anyway, given how much money they seem to have but whatever), and this was another thing that caused her to push away. (And then violently yo-yo back it was incredible) She also has been harboring a fuck ton of guilt over her father's death, which I think was something I worried about after reading ACOFAS? Idk, but it wasn't terrible. She acknowledged that she couldn't really do anything, that it was all over before she could move, but the main reason she felt so horrible about it, was because all this time, since her mother's death (and kinda before it?), she had been mean towards her father, constantly snubbing him, acting with disdain, etc., but during the war (in ACOWAR, it's so helpfully acronymed), he came to help with a fleet of ships, and the one he was on, he named after her. It showed that, despite all that she had said and done to him for all these years, he still loved her, and she felt that she didn't deserve that.

She felt guilty about what had happened to Elain, and felt angry that she wasn't able to do more. Her relationship with Elain kinda soured at a point, because it went from Elain being the withdrawn, sallow, underfed and distant one, to her being that, except with Elain, she would just sit in a chair in an empty room and wallow in her own misery, whereas Nesta used other aforementioned ways to try to forget. Throughout a lot of this book, Nesta and Elain are at each other's throats, and they did, apparently, make up, but I don't know when. For how much of the book is spent about them being at odds with each other, there's an odd lack of them actually making up with each other and settling all that. It's weird.

As a whole though, the center of Nesta's issues stem from the fact that she feels helpless. As she put it, all these things happened to her, she didn't do anything about it. She didn't (in most cases, couldn't) do anything to get herself out of those situations. She felt she lacked agency, in essence. I believe that is mostly why she acted the way she did, because then she could control how others felt about her. The other reason why she acted the way she did, is that her mother trained her to do so.

When her family was still rich (and their mother was still alive), Nesta was trained to be absolutely vicious in the ballroom. She knew how to win people over with small gestures or expressions, and how to read people with a glance. She also knew how to dance, ridiculously well it seems. There is a point in the story when, to make sure that Eris, a member of the Autumn Court that they had been using for information, was still friendly with them, she was chosen to dance with him, to make sure that the Night Court was still in his favor. So, she danced with him. By the end of it, Eris apparently wanted to marry her, and you can fucking imagine how pissed Cassian was about that (I do think that at this point in the book, Nesta and Cassian were most assuredly a Thing, whether either of them acknowledged it or not), but the whole point of it was to show that Nesta was really in tune with music, and that she knows exactly how to meddle in the politics to win in her favor.

Her mother raised Elain to be a perfect princess, to be married off to someone with lots of money. Her mother raised Nesta to be powerful (but, from Nesta's own thoughts, she remembers asking her mother if she was going to marry a person the same way Elain was, but her mother didn't respond). As for Feyre, Nesta says that their mother seemed to mostly forget or avoid Feyre, because she wasn't quite right or something. I'm not sure.

There is a little thing where Nesta thinks of herself as a caged beast stuffed in a pretty dress, because she remembers that she's always had to restrain herself to make sure that nothing went wrong. When her mental health declines, it is equated to wolves encroaching her space, snarling her doubts and fears, and how she used to deafen them using people or alcohol. It wasn't ever enough, but it's what she did.

One thing that did help with the wolves was something she learned from Gwyn, called Mind Stilling (cough cough it's just meditation cough wheeze), a practice used by an extinct group of female warriors called Valkyries. (Yup, just like the Old Norse Valkyries.) Throughout this book, Nesta, Gwyn, and another Illyrian woman named Emerie (along with a few others but they basically only are present in theory) all trained with Cassian (and Azriel, he showed up later on, just in case Maas thought you forgot about him) to become the new Valkyries. It turns out that Cassian knew of them, I think most of the Inner Court knew them or at least knew of them (which is what happens when you're over five hundred fucking years old jfc) before they died in battle. There are a couple portions of this book that are mostly just training montages, with added notes of "it would have taken forever to build muscles as a human, but being Fae meant that Nesta could get stronger much faster", just in case you thought that 3 training montages was a lil too fast.

All this training does culminate into something by the end of the book, almost literally. I feel like a lot of this book is just watching Cassian and Nesta bounce off one another (in more ways than one lmao), and then Maas at some point realized, "Oh shit I have to actually make these things mean something!" and so the payoff for all the training, so to speak, and Feyre's pregnancy are both resolved by the end of the book, just barely.

The training thing is resolved by Gwyn, Emerie, and Nesta (in that order, it was specified that Nesta took like, three days after Emerie and Gwyn to complete her training because she was so busy probably staring at Cassian and thinking about... stuff. That's basically what both of them were doing for a healthy portion of this 700+ page tome) cutting a white silk ribbon that was tied up to a pole. I guess the idea was that if they are able to cut a piece of ribbon fluttering in the wind, they have mastery over themselves and their weapons. Personally, I get it. Ribbons are evasive as fuck and will gain enough sentience to move away from you just enough so you can't grab them. I know for certain that I would not be able to do this.

Now, I've mentioned Emerie a few times now, who is she? During the three or so days at the Illyrian camp, Nesta comes to know an Illyrian woman named Emerie. She's a shopkeeper in the village, and she likes keeping her store neat. Her family doesn't like that she owns the shop, and wants it to be carried over to one of her relatives. One of the times that Nesta visits her, one of Emerie's cousins is there, spewing stupid nonsense about how she can't run a store on her own. (He ends up dying, in case you were wondering.) She seems like a pretty interesting character, and she and Nesta bond over their shared interests in books, and that they've both been through some shit. In Emerie's case, her wings were clipped, so she can't fly. It is(or was?) a practice that was(is?) pretty common in Illyrian society, because clearly no one wants the wamen flyin around, who else is gonna do the cookin and cleanin and child rearin? Emerie ends up joining Nesta and Gwyn in training, with her main motivation similar to Nesta's: that she never wants to feel or be powerless again.

I've talked about the training a few times now, and I've mentioned how it led to something, without saying what it leads to, so I'll say it here: it leads to the Blood Rite, which is an Illyrian coming-of-age sorta thing, where the participants (typically the male Illyrians, like I said they just can't have the wamen beating them at anything it'd hurt their wittle egos) are put in this forest and they are tasked to scale a mountain (at least one) within a week, and fight off any monsters trying to eat them, or opponents trying to beat them. It's pretty common for people to die in these.

Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie landed themselves in this Blood Rite by being kidnapped, that's apparently how the participants are put in the Rite. There was something unusual about this one, however, in that someone (I think it turned out to be someone under the control of Briallyn) planted weapons all over the forest, which isn't allowed. Something that also isn't allowed in the Rite is magic, so the magic that Nesta has become accustomed to and now has a decent relationship with, is gone. Cool.

In the process of getting up the mountain, Gwyn nearly dies, she got shot in the leg by an arrow, and Emerie nearly drowns in a river. Nesta nearly gets stabbed by Emerie's cousin, the same guy who showed up in her shop that one time, but then he gets killed. Woohoo, violence!

Right as Nesta is fighting with Emerie's cousin, Cassian shows up, which is surprising because he wouldn't normally be able to be there: if outside forces help a participant get through the Blood Rite, it is then considered invalid, and both the participant and the outside person are promptly killed (Woohoo, violence!). Turns out that he's under the control of Briallyn, who shows up as well. She orders Cassian to kill Nesta (because of course), and rather than stab her, he stabs himself. This is when the un-aliving thing happens that I mentioned earlier. Nesta was so caught up in the rage and stress of being in the Rite, then the sheer fury of what was going on, and it was an instance of her mind going, "I will not let this happen to me" and so she slammed the "undo" button on Briallyn's existence. (Woohoo, violence!) All is well though, because apparently Cassian did not, in fact, stab himself.

All is not well though, because as this whole thing ends, Feyre's pregnancy issues begin. I won't go over in detail because I've already talked about it earlier, but basically she went into labor way too early, and things have only gotten worse. She's bleeding out, everyone is certain that she will die. And thanks to the fact that, in ACOWAR, Feyre and Rice Hand made a vow that, if one dies, the other will, there's also the risk that Rice Hand will die, and since the baby is so premature, so will the baby. So there are three lives at risk, and no one knows what the fuck to do about any of it.

Except Nesta. Well, she doesn't really know what to do, but she's trying something. She takes the items of the "Dread Trove" (remember those?) and she uses them to pause time, right before death (kinda like pausing right before your Sim's death to save your game), and pleads with the powers in the objects and within herself, to show her how to save Feyre and the baby, and she will give her powers back to the Cauldron from which she took them. The powers are basically like "k lol", and she saves Feyre and the baby (his name is Nyx, which is just,,, it's so fantasy fiction omfg), and she tells Cassian later that she also altered her fucking body so that it can carry an Illyrian baby. Has she, at literally any point in the series, let alone this book, ever even thought she wanted a child? Nope, but everyone gotta have babies. (I get that people change their minds, and Nesta seems to have a fuck ton of time ahead of her to think about it, but idk it just kinda came up out of nowhere. How about beginning research into situations like that and maybe learn how to safely perform a c-section, in this case, so that future situations don't turn out as they seem to have previously. Nesta fixing her own body won't affect the who-knows-how-many other people who might get into this situation. Then again, it's not on her to solve everyone's problems,,, idk man)

Rrrrighttt at the end of the book, it mentions that Cassian and Nesta are going to have a mating ceremony, which for all intents and purposes, might as well be a wedding they talk about it like a wedding some of the practices and traditions are reminiscent of a wedding, it's a wedding. But for some reason, they don't actually have the ceremony in this book, even though I imagine Maas could've totally done it. What's another few pages in a 700+ page book, right? So I imagine that the ceremony might come up again in the next book, because Something is going to happen then. I have no idea what that Something is going to be, but that's my guess.

I don't think I have many issues with this book in particular, it's more with just the series as a whole. I just have a lot of questions with this series, and I got even more questions from this book. Most of my questions circulate around the powers of the characters within the Inner Court, such as how does literally everyone's powers work?? Throughout this book, it kept referring to Cassian's magic, that he wears a bunch of thingies (they're called Siphons but they'll always be thingies to me) to contain that magic, but it never actually says what his magic is. As far as I can tell, there are like,, idk how to describe it but like kinda threads?? of magic, I guess, that come from his Siphons, but other than that it's just that he,,, punch? He fight good? I really don't know. From what I can gather, his abilities could stem from his life rather than any magic he has. (I think that could actually be more interesting, him not having any magic, and kinda lend another reason as to why so many fucking people in this book shit on him for being the way he is. They all throw "Prince of Bastards" or some similar title at him, as if he's the only bastard to have ever existed in Prythian like, bad guys, please come up with more insults. Call him a shithead or something like be creative I'm really not feeling it)

With Nesta, it also does a poor job of explaining her magic, it's just repeated that it's old, it's ancient, it's from another time, a time before the Fae, a time long forgotten, but like, bro, what is it. I guess I'll never know. Elain's power, which also stems from the Cauldron, is barely mentioned in this book, aside from them saying that it's either gone away, or gone dormant, so she's treated as though she has no powers (that is, whenever she actually shows up in the book. Elain is just,,, rarely in the series. What is she doing at any given time the world may never know).

I don't really think that Maas understands how many stairs 10,000 stairs would be. I don't think she gets how long 500 years would be, and what you would even be doing for the majority of that time. I don't think she has a scale for how much power she has flung at her characters, to the point of it all being nonsensical. Everyone has so much power, we're told that Rice Hand has a ridiculous amount of power, somehow Feyre has double his power, but Amren had even more power, but Nesta has even more power than that and it's just,,, can I please have a frame of reference because I simply do not understand. I don't think she even has much of an explanation for the powers she has given her characters, and two examples I can immediately think of are Mor and Azriel. Mor's powers have simply been stated as "truth", but have we ever seen her use that power? What the fuck does that even mean, does she have a freakin lasso of truth or some shit like I don't understand. Then with Azriel, he got some kind of shadow magic thing going on, but like even within the story, the characters don't seem to understand how it works. Even the people that have known Azriel basically their entire lives (Rice Hand and Cassian) don't understand it. So how the fuck am I suppose to understand?

I'm just going to end it here because jfc this thing is so long, it's 10 pages long in Google Docs, and I heavily doubt anyone is going to read this far. If you have, much thanks! To clarify, I do like the series (to some extent) I just,, I have a lot of questions. So many, I couldn't fit them in here because they didn't really have any answers in the books (any of them, as far as I'm aware). Idk. How do people write conclusions? It's beyond me. Agh, anyway, thanks for reading this.

#i write so much sometimes like where do these words come from #i didn't even know i thought about this series that much #but yeah this thing is wayyyy too long for goodreads but i didn't want it all to go to waste so i'm putting it here #also on goodreads but it's painfully shortened on there #it's tragic #wait lmao how do you tag these books i've never done it before #acotar #a court of silver flames #acosf #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #elain archeron #rhysand #cassian #azriel #gywn berdara #emerie acosf #acosf spoilers #long post

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