#if we have a zoom class together and i at any point look like i’m imagining romantic scenarios in my head mind your business

[nerdygaymormon]

Being Imperfect

This week I was assigned to speak in a ward as a visiting stake speaker, and I took inspiration from Elder Stanfill’s General Conference talk titled The Imperfect Harvest, I chose a few principles to highlight and use examples from my life to illustrate them 

As I was putting together my remarks, I felt that I should include my eating disorder. However, I felt a bit uncomfortable with the idea of sharing something so personal and present in my life, then I thought of my homework from therapy. 

My psychologist encouraged me to share with others that I have an eating disorder. Having it not be a secret but to expose it to sunshine helps dissipate the feelings of shame. She suggested I share with a zoom group I facilitate each month for Lift+Love. People don’t connect with others who present themselves like they’re perfect, we are drawn to the imperfect because we feel like, “I can relate to this guy.”

It clicked, this talk is about being imperfect, and my therapist is saying that if I share about my eating disorder it shows I’m imperfect, so I kept it in.

Immediately after I finished speaking and sat down, I received texts from people in the congregation saying this is something they’re currently dealing with and they feel less alone for sharing this is something happening in my life. After the meeting, people lined up to speak with me, and I was touched that a number of them shared about their eating disorder journey.

I’m putting my talk here as a way to remember. I don’t expect others to read, it’s a long post, but you’re welcome to.

————————————————————

Years ago when I was a student at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, I worked at the Missionary Training Center. I would get a new class of missionaries and spend 2 months teaching them Korean, and then send them off to serve. 

When I worked there, the new missionaries arrived on a Wednesday. They’d be greeted, given their room assignment and unpack, go to dinner, and then show up for their first class, and I would be there to greet them. 

I would start right in. 

안영하십니까. 저는 Doyle 형제 입니다. Florida주 Tampa시에서 왔읍니다. 만나서 반갑습니다. 

Which means, “How are you? I am Brother Doyle. I'm from Tampa, Florida. nice to meet you.” I would teach them how to introduce themselves in the same way, only I didn’t speak any English to them. It took awhile and there was a lot of gesticulating, but eventually they’d each learn how to introduce themselves. Once they had that down, I’d switch over to English and their relief was palpable. 

It was a challenge, but together they were able to figure out what I was saying and learn how to say it themselves. I wanted them to see they are able to learn and do things which maybe they were unsure about.  

When I switched to English, I’d take time to give them a little advice for their time at the Training Center. Remember that their value comes from being a child of God. How quickly they learn to speak Korean doesn’t increase or decrease their worth. As the teacher, language mistakes give me feedback of where to spend more time. Don’t be afraid to speak up, even if you’re not sure your answer is correct. Learning a language requires tens of thousands of mistakes. Practice and corrective feedback speeds the process. If you’ve mastered a new grammar form, help your neighbor. The goal is for everyone in this room to be ready to serve in Korea. 

Being in a small classroom day after day, they quickly began sizing up each other, figuring out where they ranked in comparison to the others. Some who felt they were slow at learning Korean would get frustrated and speak to me. I’d quickly quiz them on some of the vocabulary and a verb conjugation we learned last week, and then point out that they got it. Today it doesn’t matter who learned it a little bit faster last week because they all know it. 

Being in our church congregation is a bit like being in the classroom at the Missionary Training Center. We look at those around us and think they’re so much further ahead, they have their life together and we’re barely treading water in comparison. First of all, everyone has their challenges. Don’t believe their Instagram feed is representative of their entire life. People don’t usually share their failures and setbacks. I see lots of pictures of lovely meals and none of a burned pan next to a pizza delivery.

Being in close proximity, it’s normal to compare ourselves with each other, but if we were to zoom out a bit, are we really that different? From God’s perspective, we’re all flawed, we’re all making mistakes, we’re all learning. 

One of our purposes in life is to gain wisdom. The bumps in the roads, the mistakes, the setbacks, they are all learning opportunities. 

The race of life isn’t really against the person sitting on the pew in front of us, it’s with ourselves. You’re doing okay, in fact you’re probably doing better than you realize. Many of us tend to look at ourselves with an overly-critical lens. It’s not a matter of are we doing better than them, it’s are we doing better than we were last week, last month, last year. We learn and move forward. 

I recently was diagnosed with an eating disorder and I am getting help. At my very first session with the psychologist, she said healing isn’t a straight line. There will be setbacks and that’s okay. We acknowledge them and move forward. We don’t say I’m a failure because I messed up. If I do well for a few days and then have a day where something happened that triggered me and I turned to food, then that’s what happened. It doesn’t undo the days where I didn’t binge, I still get credit for those. 

It reminds me of something President Monson taught us which is that in the gospel we get credit for trying, even if we don’t always succeed. The Lord blesses those who want to improve, who try and try again, who are striving to the best of their abilities. Are your abilities the same as everyone else’s? Of course not. And what if you stumble? We all stumble, and the Savior is there to help us keep going. 

I was excited to see Elder Stanfill speak at this past April’s General Conference as he’d just come to our stake conference prior to that. Elder Stanfill began his Conference address by talking about growing up on a farm in Montana. His family raised wheat. His family’s livelihood depended on the harvest. They used machinery to harvest the grain. They would begin by harvesting a small swath of grain, then check behind the combine to make sure as much grain as possible landed in the holding tank and wasn’t thrown out with the chaff. 

They would adjust the machine and repeat the exercise and adjust again, repeating that exercise until his dad was satisfied that it was the best that this machine can do. As a young boy, Elder Stanfill wasn’t satisfied with this, not all the kernels of grain made it into the holding tank, there was always some that got missed. It was always an imperfect harvest. 

When the weather turned cold, he watched thousands of migrating swans, geese, and ducks descend onto the fields to nourish themselves on their long journey south. These birds ate the leftover grain from his family’s imperfect harvest. God had perfected it. Not a kernel was lost.

Elder Stanfill goes on to say that in our world and in the culture of our church, we obsess about perfection. We set unrealistic expectations and self-criticize and thereby feel inadequate, that we aren’t good enough and never will be. We misinterpret the invitation of the Savior to “be ye therefore perfect.” Being perfect is an impossible standard for us to live up to and can cause us to feel guilt and anxiety. 

Moroni says we are to “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him.” That Jesus’ grace is “sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ” (Moroni 10:32). We do our best and the grace of the Savior makes up the difference in ways we cannot imagine. 

With the Savior, our potential is limitless. This is how Jesus would want you to see yourself, which is the way He sees you, and that is very different from how the world sees you or even how we may critically view ourselves. When I taught Korean to missionaries, I saw their potential and worked to help them towards that. Mistakes were part of that work to move them towards their potential. 

In my effort to recover, I’m learning about why people develop eating disorders, I’m retraining my brain. I learned anybody can develop an eating disorder, but there are some things that put a person at higher risk. It’s not because they’re bad or weak, it’s a response to other things in their life.   

An eating disorder is a way my brain and body coped, but my circumstances have changed and I need to learn new ways of thinking and behavior. I’m making progress. I understand and can do more today than I could last month. Does God love me more today because of this? No. God always loved me. My worth hasn’t changed. I’m a child of Heavenly Parents and have great potential. 

I like that some of the temple recommend questions have changed to ask “do you strive..,?”

Do you strive to keep the Sabbath day holy?

Do you strive to be honest in all you do?

Perfection isn’t required. Our best efforts and desires count. We get credit for trying. My capacity is different from yours, I’ve got my own weaknesses and challenges and you have yours. 

As I get to know more people and see them and the goodness of them and the hurt and pain they carry, I see them more and more as the Savior does and the love He has for them and that He wants to bless and heal them. The atonement is what the Savior uses to do this.

I will now read Alma 7:11-12. 

11 And he [meaning Jesus] shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. 

12 And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.

These verses teach us that Jesus had a physical body and experienced pain, temptations and illness. In the Garden, He took on our weaknesses, mistakes and sins. He experienced all these things. This causes Him to feel mercy towards us and He understands how to nourish and strengthen us.

Jesus understands what it’s like to have an eating disorder. Jesus knows what it’s like to have social anxiety. Jesus knows what it’s like to have pulmonary embolism, and so on. The many physical and mental health challenges I’ve dealt with in the past few years, I could turn to the Savior and cry to Him, complain to Him, and ask Him for courage and comfort. He understands and helps me in my pursuits to heal.

We all have some hard things in our lives and can turn to the Savior. Christ sees us for who we are and our potential as children of God. We can turn our imperfect lives over to the Savior to be perfected, although the Savior’s idea of perfection is different from ours, just as the imperfect harvest was made perfect as the kernels of grain fed the migrating birds. We do our best and bring what we can, and in faith give our imperfect offering to Christ.

#tumblrstake

[fookinavocadosman]

episode 9: till forever falls apart {HS}

it’s been a year since the retreat and a reunion is what is needed to see how everyone’s been doing since leaving.

warnings: none :)

word count: 1.4k

“Are you ready?” Harry walks up behind me kissing my forehead before sitting down in the chair next to me. 

“As I’ll ever be.” I smile at him while I click the zoom link joining the call. Our faces pop up and I see almost everyone is on the zoom call. 

“Hey, guys!” Desiree says to us and I unmute the mic as Harry and I both say hi. When everyone is on the call Desiree gives us a countdown before starting 

“Welcome to the show that does for Too Hot To Handle what Harry and Y/N do to a prize fund. Shamelessly suck it dry!” Desiree starts and I blush, leaning into Harry at the call out. 

“Anyway without further ado, it's time to meet the show's effortlessly gorgeous stars. Give us a wave.” We all wave saying hi and soon another box pops up showing Lana. 

“Lovely to see you all. I hope you are all continuing to be making deeper and more meaningful connections.” Lana says and then her screen is gone. Soon the group is split up and Harry and I are put in a separate room with just Desiree. 

“Oh my god hey guys!” Desiree says excitedly and we respond with the same excitement. 

“God you both look gorgeous even on a phone.” Desiree compliments us. 

“You’re gorgeous as well.” He smiles at her and she waves air onto her face pretending to cool down. 

“So Harry and Y/N, how has everything been since you left the retreat?” She asks and I look at Harry to see if he wants to answer first. 

“Ladies first.” He mumbles and I let out a soft laugh. 

“Honestly, everything has been amazing. I finished my last year of college and the long distance was a bit of a struggle but everything has been worth it.” I tell her and Harry nods agreeing with me. 

“So what did you guys do after leaving the retreat?” 

“Well Y/N still had a couple of weeks before her classes started so I went back with her to her hometown. I met her family, and saw the area she grew up in, her family is amazing, they welcomed me with open arms. And once her classes started up again I went back to LA and worked and then during her winter break she came to LA. So we were jumping back and forth for a while but recently we just got an apartment in LA and moved in together.” Harry tells Desiree wrapping his arm around my shoulder and her jaw drops before she smiles. 

“Wow, that's truly amazing! How have you been liking LA Y/N?” 

“It’s very different from my hometown. I was a little bit homesick when I moved all the way across the country but I couldn’t be happier. I have an amazing job, amazing friends, and an amazing boyfriend.” I smile at her and she nods. 

“Have there been any struggles that you’re willing to share?” I look down nervously and Harry lets out a sigh before speaking. 

“Yeah, there was a point where the long-distance became a little bit too much for both of us. It was when COVID first hit and I was stuck in England and I couldn’t fly back to the states, it was really difficult, especially with the time difference we just kept missing each other but as soon as I was able to fly back I was with Y/N.” He speaks and I just observe him as he speaks. 

“I’m literally falling in love with your love story. Unfortunately, I do have to bring up some sticky things. So first Zayn. Y/N, do you have any regrets with Zayn?” Desiree asks and Harry tenses up slightly as I shake my head. 

“Funny thing is that Zayn and us are really good friends. Most of the group we  see or talk to from time to time but other than that the only thing I regret was using him to get back at Harry.” I explain to her and she nods asking Harry about Brooke. 

“Yeah, my biggest regret was using Brooke to piss off Y/N, I really thought I had lost her.” Harry admits to Desiree and I squeeze his hand under the table reassuring him. 

“Alright. so last question for you guys, what does your future look like? Do you guys have anything special planned?” Desiree asks and I look at Harry smiling. 

“Uh well, there’s been a lot of serious conversations about marriage and kids, I don’t think that either are going to happen for another couple of years, but if it does I’m glad that it’s with Y/N.” Harry tells her and she freaks out. 

“You guys are seriously considering getting married and having kids?” She gasps and I nod my head. 

“Yeah. He’s it for me, I love him so much and I’ve never felt so alive and free with someone and I know that we were made for each other.” I smile as I look at Harry and he’s already been looking at me leaning down to kiss me softly on the lips. He pulls away and Desiree awws at us. 

“I’m so glad you guys are happy and taking these steps in your relationship. I hope everything continues to blossom between you guys.” Desiree tells us and we thank her before we get sent back to the main meeting room. 

We wait with everyone else while Desiree does her individual interviews with everyone and soon she comes back asking us questions for who's most likely to game. 

For become president the consensus was Kate, become a police officer no one could agree on it, walk around the house naked, almost everyone voted for themselves except I voted for Harry because he does it all the time. Streak at the superbowl we all voted for Louis who was not happy about that, complete tinder we voted for Liam. 

We are then brought into another room where all the boys are together and unfortunately I can’t participate. Desiree explains that she's doing a homage to the yoni puja workshop and having the boys paint their own bits. Harry grabs a piece of paper and starts drawing while I sit back watching the other guys draw. 

Riley is looking over Niall’s shoulder and Ava is not paying attention to Zayn’s drawing. Liam seems to be hyper-focused on his while Louis keeps cracking jokes about his. As the boys all go through showing theirs we all laugh at the depictions of their bits. 

When it’s Harry’s turn he shows his and I angle my body to see his. I smack his shoulder as he explains that it’s to scale and the reason it has hearts around it is because everyone falls in love with it. I roll my eyes at him as Desiree makes a face. 

“You are so crude.” I mumble under my breath, making him laugh. 

“Sorry, my love.” He mumbles back kissing my forehead and I roll my eyes at his fake apology. The meeting ends soon after the last task and when the call ends I look at Harry smiling. 

“Well I wish we could’ve seen them in person but that was honestly so fun.” I tell him and he nods. 

“Yeah, we can try to plan something with everyone as soon as it’s safe to do so.” He smiles and I nod. 

When we were on the call we found out that Brooke is now dating a guy that she met at a party, Luke is still doing what he used to do before the show, Kate is still single but is actively looking to date someone, Louis and Sage broke up a couple of months after the show but are still good friends, Ava and Zayn are still going strong, Zayn moved to Ireland to be with Ava. 

Michael is dating a girl from his hometown, Kenzie is still single and hasn’t been looking for anyone, and Liam is single as well but has been trying to find a significant other. We are still good friends with Niall and Riley and they live in LA about 20 minutes from us and they’re engaged. 

“You know it’s crazy that we met on this show.” I say to Harry and he hums. 

“I can never thank my friend enough for telling me to sign up for it.” I smile at him and he smiles back. 

“Same here. You’re the love of my life. I couldn’t imagine doing any of this without you.” He smiles at me leaning in to kiss me and when our lips touch I feel the comfort that I had been searching for in all the nameless people. 

I finally feel at home.

Well thats the last episode of the THTH series. Thank you to everyone for reading this series, I truly appreciate all the support and love I got on it. I will eventually post a blurb on their first time after the retreat and may post other blurbs for it every now and then, but please bear with me i am a full time college student and this semester i have a packed schedule so posting will be very slow, but other than that this is the end. I love you all. Thank you. <3

tag list: @golden-hoax @nikkisimps @matildasatellite @tiaamberxx @behindmygreyeyes @panicattheuc @jessitpwk @my-munson-styles @hislcstyles @that-one-little-soybean @harringt8ns @rafaaoli @tenaciousperfectionunknown @v1rg1nvodkasprite @gem1712

#harry styles #harry styles angst #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles and y/n #harry styles au #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut

[lyrical-fanfics]

We aren't dating (Jack HowlxReader)

this is part of a series of one-shots that will later tie into a longer series on my AO3. They're meant to be read like the vignettes in Twisted Wonderland, so if you want a sequel please let me know. Also, let me know if you think you know what the dorm the reader is based on!

The reader is not Yuu. The reader is a student at the OC sister school Fantasia College for girls

3rd person POV

Genre: fluff

Fem!Reader

    “Jack! Jaaaaack!” (Name) came bounding up like a kitten full of energy, nearly tripping past her fellow students. Her wide eyes and bright smile charmed many around her, and most couldn’t help but stop and stare at the showgirl. Her friendly eyes and personable body language made everyone feel like they could just walk up to her and talk to her. “Jack!” She called again, and her exact opposite responded by turning to her and waiting. Jack calmly and cooly waited for her, not revealing any sort of emotion. Some claim that maybe he had a slight smile on his face, but his aloof attitude concealed quite a bit. “Jack! I got an A on that quiz I was agonizing over! You totally saved me! I was like, Oh no! I’m gonna fail! And then Becks will be mad at me! But you were right! I had it in me!” (Name) bounded around the much taller and larger jack with all the energy in the world. She zoomed around while Jack simply waited patiently for her to exhaust herself. It was a song and dance the two were very used to at this point. 

    “Ahh, (Name) is super cute…” A male student whispered to a friend, who agreed entirely. 

    “She is, I have a class with her, and sometimes it’s hard to focus with her next to me!” the female student admitted as she gripped her blush-laded face. “The only thing is, she can be a bit chatty, but that lulls you in sometimes~” the female student swooned as Jack’s ears perked up. They were right. (Name) was bright, bubbly, enchanting, but she was also… 

    “Oh! Oh! Oh! Let's get something to celebrate! Some sort of nice snack and drink!”

    Talkative, excitable, and full of energy. She could talk anyone’s ear off, and oftentimes that deterred any suitors. She had many admirers, as a member of the house of Operata and a performer, but most that got too close were pushed away by her talkative personality. Jack found those who were deterred by her chattiness as superficial, as he appreciated her energy. 

    When Jack heard what (Name) wanted, he immediately frowned. (Name) often talked about the drinks she saw in Monstro lounge, but he had a personal problem with the student-run restaurant. 

    “We aren’t going to Monstro Lounge. You know how I feel about that place.” Jack replied with a grumbling tone. (Name) let out a giggle and reminisced about one of the first times they had to work together. 

“Aw, but doesn’t it bring back memories? Back when we were still on bad terms?” (Name) gave Jack another big smile as a way to try and convince him. The two of them weren’t always this close and even found themselves on opposing sides. The chapter just before it was harder to look back on, but the one good thing that came out of the succeeding chapters was working with Jack. 

“Regardless, we aren’t going.”  Jack put his foot down as he walked with (Name), who circled around him twice before settling at his side. (Name) knew there wasn’t much point in pushing Jack’s boundaries, so she settled for something more in both of their comfort zone. Their effortless communication was something many budding couples envied, and tried to replicate. They were truly a goal for those in the throes of beginning romance. Something that many in the school subconsciously associate with love. A figure just out of their sight couldn’t help but smile. He waited for his chance to strike in a manner that was hard to dismiss. 

    “Aw, that’s too bad, oh well, we can see what the cafeteria has!” (Name) gave another big toothy grin to Jack, who was happy that she dropped the idea of Monstro lounge so easily. Just as he thought he was in the clear, the figure finally revealed himself in the form of a question. 

    “What’s this? Is our establishment so sullied in your mind that you cannot even treat the sweet (Name) to a drink there?” Both (Name) and Jack stop walking and turn to face the voice. There stood Jade with a rather sly smile on his face. “Your poor friend, Jack. She worked rather hard! I saw myself you know.” Jade walked around to (Name)’s side and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a warm smile. Jack was far from impressed by his display. “It’s hard not to notice when your prized lounge singer is studying in between sets.” 

    Right, (Name) acts as the primary lounge singer for Monstro lounge, due to her popularity, she brings in plenty of business. There was something brewing in Jade’s mind, and in turn, there must be something brewing in Azul’s mind. 

    “We’re still not going.” Jack tried to assert some control as Jade weaved away from (Name)’s side, letting her slink back over to Jack’s side. 

    “You think so little of us, here, how about I make up for past experiences?” Jade held his hand to his chest as he smiled his saccharine grin. “I can pull a few strings for you both and get you a discount. I’m sure Azul would agree that our favorite lounge singer deserves a good reward for accomplishing high grades. He’s rather proud, you know.” 

    “Azul is proud too!? No way! I didn’t think he paid attention to my grades! I thought it was just Becks and Viv!” (Name) lit up when she heard that other people were proud of her as well. Jack could see the excitement on (Name)’s face and hear it in her tone. He knew he couldn’t keep her from wanting to go for much longer, and she might end up going by herself at this point. The idea of her going by herself when she didn’t have her job as the singer keeping her admirers away ticked him off slightly. 

    “Fine, but don’t expect this to be a regular occurrence.” Jack kept up a wall of caution as Jade smiled. 

    “I promise everything will be perfect. We will be expecting you both tonight.” Jade gave a slight bow before finally stepping away. (Name) took the opportunity to shift her gaze towards Jack with a warm grin. It took every fiber of his being to not immediately start wagging his tail. 

    Rumors of the two having a love affair had flooded campus as soon as (Name) was spotted with Jack outside of class for the first time. The two were such opposites in many parts of their personality that people couldn’t help but fantasize about the two being an item. Jack was aware of the swirling chatter, and he had no idea if (Name) knew. He often got asked about it, so he wouldn’t be surprised if (Name) also got asked about it. While he denied every rumor, there was a kernel of truth. He did really care for (Name), and he did find himself wanting to be at her side constantly, but he was very cautious about saying anything or getting too attached. 

    “This is gonna be fun! Becks said though that I should be cautious, she thinks Azul is up to something. So does Viv!” (Name) spoke highly of her seniors in the Operata dorm. Becks as she referred to her, was Rebecca, the Housewarden of Operata, while Viv, Vivian was the Vice-housewarden. The two of them were slightly more aware socially than (Name) was, and were always on the lookout for potential problems. The group was kept in balance by (Name)’s occasional naivety. 

    “I wouldn’t be surprised. I doubt Jade would do anything without expecting something in return.” Jack and (Name) walked side by side as they headed toward Monstro Lounge. 

    “Huh, if you say so,” (Name) trusted Jack even if she was skeptical. His instincts had yet to steer the both of them wrong, and she was more than happy to admit when he was right. She admired him greatly, from his work ethic to his drive. She was fully willing to let her personality be supplemented by his own, but they were a lot more similar than people gave them credit for. 

    Once they arrived at the Lounge, they were immediately seated and given attention by the server but weren’t given any sort of menu. 

    “Since Jade pulled a few strings for you, we have something prepared for the both of you.” The Ocvavinelle student smiled as he bowed his head slightly. Jack became even more suspicious. His ears went back in displeasure over the situation. It was a little too controlled for his liking, and they could send out just about anything. Were they testing something on them? Was this a new product that they wanted to promote? What is going on in their heads? 

    “Oh! I bet it’s a new product! They make new things all the time! Most of it looks super good!” (Name) chattered away and tried to be the glass half full of the two. She eased some of Jack’s tension by talking aimlessly, picking up any and every topic to discuss between the two. 

    “Here you two are. Courtesy of Monstro Lounge.” Both (Name) and Jack perk up, turning their head to the waiter, only to choke on the audacity. Atop the serving tray was a large, single pink drink. A single small plate of heart-shaped treats paired with a ginormous single drink. Two straws sat at opposite ends of the glass’s mouth, cartoonishly separated by whip cream. 

    So it was a new promotion. 

    “Um! Hang on! There’s two of us! I think there’s a mistake!” (Name) immediately piped up to try and fix it, but the server only shook his head at (Name). 

    “(Name), this is what Monstro Lounge was able to pull together for you, congratulations on your academic achievements!” the server then quickly placed down the drink and snacks before rushing off. (Name) could only look over at Jack with a concerned expression, and he stared back with a displeased one. 

    “You were right, I’m sorry.” (Name) let out a big sigh before looking down, but Jack softened his expression. He couldn’t be mad at her, and he knew it. From what he could gather, Azul probably wanted to capitalize on the rumors of them being together. The photos had probably already been taken, and whatever promotion was probably already in the works. Despite his discomfort, he really did want (Name) to have a good time. 

He started by pushing the drink away from the center and closer to (Name), before taking the treats and breaking the hearts into pieces. Even if Azul wanted promo pictures, he wasn’t about to make it easy. 

“Jack?” (Name) tilted her head and gave him a quizzical look. “What are you doing?” 

“Making it harder for Octavinelle to use us as an advertisement.” He stated as he broke another heart-shaped snack. (Name) raised her brows again, and Jack responded. “Go ahead and have the drink, I can pick something up on the way back.” 

(Name)’s eyes lit up, as embarrassing as the two straws were, she did like how the drink looked, and she was rather excited about the snacks, so for Jack to try and make it work meant the world to her. 

“Lemme pay for it, I got us into this mess,” (Name) made the deal with Jack, but he was more than happy just to spend time with her. He tried to dispute that a drink from a vending machine was really nothing at all, but (Name) insisted. 

    Despite the embarrassment of having a setup clearly made for a couple, after Jack adjusted it to make it more bearable, they ended up conversing as they normally did. 

The next day, Jack saw the results of the scheme. There they were in a poster promoting a new date night special, just as he had anticipated. The promotion caused even more questions about (Name) and Jack’s status to fly. Some began outright assuming they were finally an item. Savanaclaw took every opportunity to tease him, while his friends looked on with a sympathetic yet teasing gaze. Leona did nothing to stop the temporary hazing, as he found it idiotic that Jack got himself into a situation that was clearly avoidable.

 Jack only sighed as he would tear down any promotion with the photoshopped picture of them joyously chatting over the perfectly placed product, but he couldn’t help but feel his tail wag a little bit every time he saw the photos. Sure, they were causing some temporary pain, but it felt nice to have some sort of documentation with (Name). 

    If anyone were to ask, no, he didn’t save one. 

    If you asked (Name), however, she did have one. 

Thank you for reading! If you're interested in following updates as soon as they're done, consider following my AO3

#twst x reader #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst #twisted wonderland #Lyric's Vignette Series #Jack howl x reader #jack howl #twisted wonderland jack

[editorofeverything]

This scene is from a WIP that didn't fit the vibe I was going for and liked too much to just delete, so please enjoy

Dick was having a perfectly decent day. He had the day off. He slept in, he showered, he shaved. He bought flowers for Kori and delivered them to her before a surprise lunch date. Dick was the definition of a thriving adult hitting thirty.

Then, Bruce asked him to pick Damian up from school.

There was nothing wrong with picking Damian up from school. Dick liked Damian, and was convinced that, on a good day, Damian liked him too. The problem was that today was not a good day.

“I don’t need a babysitter to get home from school, Grayson, and the fact that Father and the rest of the family seem to think that I can’t handle myself when I am more than capable of walking home from this waste of time and space is the highest offense—”

Teenagers and their hormones making everything so dramatic—Dick wasn’t like this when he was fifteen... Was he?

“Look, Damian, it’s not about Bruce or Alfred or even me not trusting you, ok? We all know you’re capable of taking care of yourself. That’s not even in the question. It’s the fact that you’re still not legally allowed to drive—”

“I’m fifteen!”

“—and the streets have been too quiet recently. Bruce is paranoid—well, more paranoid—and we’re all trying to be extra careful for whatever’s coming.”

Damian huffed and stared out the window for a long while and Dick internally sighed. So much for brother-bonding time.

“Tim says there’s been an increase of odd kidnappings recently,” Damian finally broke the silence without moving from his sulking position.

Dick bit his cheek to stop from smiling. Damian would probably take offense to that, too. Instead, Dick took their exit and the offering for what it was.

“Odd is definitely one way to put it. Seems like these people just disappear into thin air. Have you seen the latest video footage?”

“The gas station? It was certainly… enlightening.” They both paused, thinking about the odd video footage Oracle managed to get a copy of. It was across the street of the gas station, just barely capturing the kid standing by a bus stop. Some traffic zoomed by—three cars and an ice cream truck—and when the street was clear, the kid was just gone. No other cameras in the area. No witnesses. No bus. No kid.

“Duke thinks it could be a metahuman altering the time and space in order to take them,” Dick shared, hoping to get them off the darker train of thought.

“We don’t have any powers like that registered though,” Damian pointed out, finally uncrossing his arms and turning towards Dick.

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Or can’t be created.”

More silence as they digested the conversation.

“There was another disappearance last night,” Damian said, not looking Dick in the eye as he turned his attention away from the red light. “A kid from my school. It isn’t official, but with how quiet everything else has been, all anyone can think about is the kidnappings.”

“So everyone assumes this kid was taken too?”

Silence.

“Did you know them?”

“No. No, I didn’t. Jon did, though. They were partnered in a class together. He’s a freshman. Patrick. He likes comic books.”

“Well,” Dick said, changing lanes to head back towards the city, “maybe we can get him something for when he gets back?”

“…That would be nice.”

Dick headed for the nearest comic bookstore.

#dc #damian wayne #dick grayson #brothers #bonding time #one shot #drabble

[imnotrealenoughtohurt]

“E DI: I KNOW”

We stopped getting a shower curtain by the time I turned double digits in age .

A man would film me like a movie star .

My mum would give me her pot of jelly from her hospital food tray. Eventually I’d take it without asking.

My father installed cameras in each room of the house .

My mum would cry as I would. I’d say it stings and she’d hysterically as she’d apply the sudo crème into my intimate areas of my body due to the man . She’d say sorry I know over and over again in Albanian .She thinks I don’t remember this.

The plot to the movie never made sense.

How do I tell any guy I’ve ever liked that every time we’ve kissed, I have felt like I have to bare my teeth right after ?

I started getting cavities .My dad points to the right wall on the kitchen ceiling one day and says “Ada you steal any more sweets I can see it . I have cameras installed everywhere”.

I stole a toy elephant from my class once. My mum washed it under the running tap once we arrived to the house and tried make me return it .I never did .I thought I could take care of the elephant better than the teachers that left it alone on the desk .

I can’t remember the man's face. 

E Di e Di e Di e Di e Di e di e Di e Di e Di 

Every time I have ever kissed a guy, I’m scared feathers will start falling out of my mouth .

Sorry sorry I know sorry sorry sorry I know sorry sorry sorry I know .

My first ever boyfriend in this life jokingly said once he had a camera in my room and for a very long time before bed, I’d stare at the right corner of my ceiling and think he did.

A trip to a beach in Antalya. My dad says the zoomed in pictures of those me are an accident when I grab his phone .

My teacher tells my mum at parents evening “Adela is too nice she bumped into the white board and apologised to it .” My mum still mentions this to this day.

Me and my two sisters would sleep together as kids and we had this ritual growing up every night were Ela would say : “be snug ”, Ambra would say : “be warm” and I’d say : “be snugarma “ and we’d all say together in unison : “hope your sleep is top banana! “We did this for years every night .

An Akon music video was on and I was mimicking the girls dancing seductively in the video. Ambra shouts at me to stop dancing like that. Ela says leave her alone she’s just a kid . I tell them I’m a movie star. 

Ambra eventually stopped saying : “be warm “. She would turn her back to us and switch off the light .This is when we should’ve noticed something was happening with her .

Taking food from the kitchen became stealing. We all would eat in Ela’s room that was the size of a closet. We never ate around a dinner table as a family . Ela ‘s room felt way more spacious anyway.

The gooey alien toys you get from the corner shop are so fascinating. My sister tells me if you see a mark on its back, it means the alien has gotten pregnant .

My dad shows me as a kid cctv footage on the television. He points the remote switching from room to room in the house.

Me fal me fal me fal me fal me fal me fal 

Ela threw a girl's doll in her face first time we went Albania because the girl laughed at Ambra . I said can I throw my doll at her too. Ela told me I need to keep my doll clean so I shouldn’t.

My mum would let me grab a rose from the park. I’d put the rose in a mug with water and kiss the rose and imagine the rose was a girl.

Ambra doesn’t remember anything.

My uncles use to live with us when I was a baby. My parents told me how when I was a baby one of the uncles had a specific couch he’d sit on .Every time he’d leave the house for work, I’d bow my head down and kiss the seat he had sat at.k just like a movie star

Ela grabs me and Ambra by the wrists “Say sorry to each other or else.”

I start putting my middle finger up at the right corner of every ceiling in the house.

A missing poster for a little girl is taped to a tree back in the summer of 2007 . A kid in Albania tells me I look like the type to be next. 

Half an apple slice .Every half an hour .

Guys will always grab me by my wrist and mention how small they are. I always stop myself from wanting to say sorry . I say no they not instead .

I can’t remember the man's face. 

I have this important need to know a person's favourite colour once I meet them .

I started applying Sudo creme on the toy elephant and put it under the running tap in hopes of making it feel better.

E Di e Di e Di e Di e Di e di e Di e Di e Di 

Every time I have ever kissed a guy, I’m scared Sudo creme will start leaking out of my mouth 

We had a crack in the outer part of the bath tub. We had an infestation of mice. There was a mouse I saw living in the crack and I remember feeling sorry for it for how small its hands were. My dad got exterminators and I didn’t speak to him for two days.

my older most beautiful cousin gena grabs my hand takes me to my room and tells me a story about a princess who I was shocked to find out had the same name as me. (An intentional act)She puts my hair in the loveliest hair style and I enter the living room again and get lots of compliments for my new hairstyle and my photo taken because I looked so special. That’s when I realised what it felt like to actually feel like a movie star.

It stings .

Ambra’s favourite colour is yellow. I remind her of this all the time.

[technetiumai]

15 Questions | 15 People

Thank you for tagging me @raenestee and @cutestkilla! These are so much fun! I love learning more about you guys!

Oh, I’m supposed to tag 15 people? 😬 Do I even know 15 people?

1. Are you named after anyone?

My legal first name was my father’s grandmother’s name, but the only people who have ever called me that were people reading it off of official paperwork. My mom liked that my initials could also be a name and decided, before I was born, to call me that.

2. When was the last time you cried?

I seriously cry so much. I probably cried a little bit like half an hour ago because of a song I was listening to or something. But I guess that was like, I’m at work and I’m holding it together crying, not full on crying… I’m like 90% sure I was fully crying because of either a vlogbrothers video, a Rush song reaction video, a Glass Onion or Knives Out reaction video, or maybe a Dimension 20 clip either yesterday or the day before…

3. Do you have kids?

Yes, twin eight-year-olds. 

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Hmmmm. I think so? It used to be one of my defining characteristics, but I don’t really know if it is anymore. I definitely use snark fairly constantly. The sass flows freely.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?

How the heck would I know? I don’t keep track... I’m sure it can’t always be the same thing, but I have no idea. Everything and nothing.

6. What’s your eye color?

Green. A it’s a true green in the center part and the outline of the iris, then most of it is like a turquoise with gold flecks in it that looks green when you zoom out. Not that anyone but me has ever looked close enough to notice 😂. That may be what all green eyes look like, I don’t know.

7. Scary movie or happy endings?

Happy endings, I guess. I usually find scary movies mostly boring. Not that I don’t ever get scared or anything, it’s just… just being scared isn’t very entertaining for me I guess. Also scary movies tend to very quickly break suspension of disbelief so usually it’s hard to a stay in a brain space that’s really open to being scared. I think there’s just something I don’t get about the genre, and maybe a campiness that’s not really my thing. The Ring is the only “scary movie” that jumps to mind where I was like in it. I know there has to be more though, my brain is just empty. What was the question? Oh, I mean… happy ending still has to a have a good journey though, right? And I’m not opposed to tragedy. I guess my point is that I don’t like either for either’s sake, but if it’s a good movie, it’s a good movie. 

8. Any special talents?

Define special—Ummmm… No, I’m gonna go with no. I have no idea. Throwing themed parties? Maybe? 

9. Where were you born?

Des Moines, Iowa. I read an article once that ranked Des Moines as the #1 metro area in the US to live in, in terms of something, but I can’t remember what... I think that pretty much sums it up.

10. What are your hobbies?

Craft stuff. None of it is actually interesting to talk about. 

11. Do you have any pets?

We have an ancient, calico Manx cat; she’s roughly 130 years old in cat years (factoring in the comparatively short lifespan of her breed). We have a four year old black cat, who a former coworker found abandoned by his (the cat’s, not the coworker’s) mom in the garage of a Masonic lodge soon after he was born. So we’ve had him since he was the size of a like a peach or something,  and now he weighs like 15 pounds. We also have two sweet little Guinea pig ladies, who are six years old and were already four when we adopted them. They’re so cute 😖🤗. I’m getting some baby-fever-style urges to get more pets though… more cats, or maybe rats… I want a pot bellied pig, but I don’t really think I could give it enough attention. I also want a goat, but that’s not legal where I live.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

Lol, I wish.

13. How tall are you?

5'5"

14. Favorite subject at school?

Always math. I was never good enough that I got into super advanced classes, but it felt like I was just spending a bunch of time solving puzzles and getting rewarded for it; seemed like a great deal to me. Plus it didn’t have as much of the social weight that the rest of them did for me. 

15. Dream job?

I really want to keep part of Raen’s answer 😅 “Anything that I don’t dread going to every day, something that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking the life out of me.” That really is the dream. I really would just like to constantly be doing something creative collaboratively with other people. I’m not really picky about what it is though. Or if I could solve intermediate algebra problems all day—that’d be amazing. That’s not very realistic though. That’s what computers are for. If I could get paid what I’m paid now to like organize things or file things or something, I would love that.

@onepintobean @ivelovedhimthroughworse @captain-aralias @fatalfangirl 

I can’t do tags; you know the drill.

#tag game

[absolutelyfizzing]

unwanted feelings

james potter x reader

description - You'd had a crush on James Potter for years and when he kisses Lily Evans in front of you, you are heart broken. Later you find that he didn't actually feel as you expected and he explains himself.

warnings - some angst, unsure reader, fem pronouns, self doubt, negative self talk, not eating for a day cause reader is avoiding someone

word count - 2800

A/N - so this one isn't my best work by far but i wrote it so looks like its getting posted. i don't know why all of my reader inserts lately are so fem and sort of bubbly, i guess it's sort of what i'm aiming for for myself right now but i'm sorry if it maybe isn't coming off as relatable.

MASTERLIST

Your throat tightened in anxiety as you watched James zoom around the pitch. He was reckless when he was playing quidditch and it was one of the things that made him great at the game and an excellent captain. It was also the thing that nearly gave you a heart attack every time you watched him play. You went to every one of his games and you always wore something of his with his colors when you were in the stands. You were stood up on your seat and a slightly bored looking Remus sat to your right, reading from a book you didn't recognize. You'd thought that Sirius playing would be enough to keep him interested but sports was just not something he enjoyed watching. You were usually that way as well but whenever James was playing, suddenly you were the most intent spectator in the stands.

You were more worried than you should have been. More worried than what was appropriate for a friend to be. That's what you were, friends. That had been reinforced many times by the shaggy haired boy and you tried desperately to get it through your head before you embarrassed yourself one of these days. Sometimes though, you just couldn't help it.

Really you might have thought he reciprocated if you didn't know any better. You often got comments on what an attractive couple you guys were but each time it was quickly corrected by James. Normally along the lines of 'Oh god no, we are just friends. Purely platonic' , sometimes followed by a shudder or a gag even. It upset you every time to no end but you played along. You rarely, if ever, contributed to the shooting down of any feelings but that was never noticed by the man you had feelings for.

You'd had a crush on him since you were probably in your second year and now you were coming to the middle of your seventh. There were a million times that you almost said something but every time there was a reminder that you were not the one he had eyes for. It usually took the shape of disgust at the thought of dating you or commentary as he pined over the Evans girl who you felt you could never compete with. How could you when she was just perfect. You saw her to the left of you as she stood in the stands as well and your hands shook with insecurity before looking back toward the game. Your heart raced nearly as quickly as James did around the pitch and you prayed that the snitch would be caught soon so that you could get rid of the stress surrounding you. You felt a hand on your right shoulder and you looked over to find Remus had stood and was looking at you caringly.

"Are you alright, Y/N?" He asked softly and you tried your very best to soften your gaze and calm your stance so you appeared less concerned with someone that you shouldn't have that much interest in in the first place.

"Of course I am. When am I not?" You smiled before looking out at the pitch.

"When youre watching the guy you're in love with play a dangerous game that you don't like." He stated simply in response to the question you meant to be rhetorical and your eyes widened.

"I don't know what youre talking about." You nearly whispered and Remus smiled.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone Y/N but its not exactly subtle. It probably doesn't help that I know the look on your face because it's how I feel too watching Sirius play." He was still smirking but your anxiety was far from eased.

"Oh god, does he know?" You asked scaredly, terrified that the answer would be yes and you would have to stop spending time with him.

"Shockingly, no." You sighed out in relief but Remus continued. "You should tell him though or else he might end up moving on."

"What do you mean? There's nothing for him to move on from. Everyone knows he's in love with Evans and he has made it pretty clear that he is opposed to being anything more than a friendly relationship with me." You choked out, struggling with the words leaving your lips but knowing them to be true.

"I mean he has a minor crush on Evans but it's nothing compared to the annoyingly huge crush he has on you. He's probably just overcompensating for the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want you to reject him."

"Why are you telling me this?" You asked sincerely. You were friends with Remus as you were with the rest of the marauders but it was nothing compared to the friendship they held within their group. You knew Remus was more loyal to James than to you so you couldn't understand why, if it was true, Remus would be telling you at all.

"Because he is trying desperately to move on seeing as he is under the impression that you aren't into him and I'd hate to see him throw something away that could be really good for him." Remus smiled gently and you looked at him gratefully.

"I really appreciate you telling me and all but I just don't think I can believe you. I can't even count how many times he has made a big show of not liking me. I love him too much to ruin what we have and I know that if I confessed and it went bad that I would lose him all together. I would rather have him in my life in a way that hurts than not have him in it at all." You stated sadly and Remus sighed but nodded in understanding.

"I get it but just know that I'm being honest and pretty soon he is going to give up on it. I just want to see you both happy but if its too big of a leap, I understand. That's exactly the excuse he tells the rest of us too."

Suddenly cheers erupted from the stands, cutting your conversation with Remus off as everyone ran to rush the pitch. The snitch had been caught and gryffindor won. You were excited for James but you were also a little terrified to walk onto the pitch to see him with the now conflicted thoughts running through your head. Your thoughts were stopped by the image in front of you which was causing the whole crowd to cheer. James had pulled Lily Evans into a kiss in his excitement and your heart stopped. You felt nausea rise in your throat and Remus caught your eye with a sympathetic look. You didn't look at him for longer than a second and you ran off the pitch with tears streaming down your face. You found your way up to your dorm, pushing yourself to get there quickly before the common room filled with students celebrating their victory. James was always one to love attention so he would be getting crazy after the game which he did just about every time they won.

When you made it to your bed, you hurried under the covers, throwing the shirt you were wearing which belonged to James onto the floor. You felt your heart clench at the despair you felt. You wanted to be upset at Remus for getting your hopes up but you knew he was sincere in his want to help. Still you felt that you would probably not be able to face James in the weeks to come. Maybe, given a little time, you could be around him and not be upset at the world for taking away your chance with him. As you laid in your bed, you stared at the ceiling. You felt tears streaming down your face and you grew angry at yourself. He didn't owe you anything, he wasn't into you. That wasn't his fault and it was so unfair of you to expect anything more from him when your feelings were not his responsibility.

You weren't sure how long you laid there but you could hear the party start and end in the common room. It must have been late. Sleep wouldnt come though, you could just feel your heart continue to break and you were stuck in a loop of self pity. You made the decision that the following days would be spent away from James if you could at all help it. That was probably what he wanted anyway and it was the only way that you would get over the pain you were feeling. At some point your roomates entered your dorm and sleep overtook you for a few restless hours.

When you woke up, the sun was barely on the rise. You hurried up and got dressed and ready. You were planning on getting to breakfast early to avoid running into any of the marauders. You found your plans were not going how you wanted when you entered the great hall to find a head of red hair next to a mop of black. Your throat tightened and you quickly moved to turn and head out of the great hall. You heard a familiar voice call your name but you rushed out before you could give it too much thought. You knew that if you let him try to convince you, you would end up having a very upsetting breakfast with your best friend and his new lover. You would rather avoid breakfast.

Throughout the day, avoiding James was proving to be harder than you had thought it would be. You had many of your classes with him and you even sat next to him in a few. He was insistently trying to get you to open up about why you were suddenly so closed off to him but you remained shut off, reassuring him that nothing was wrong and you were just a little tired from the game the day before. You avoided lunch for the same reason as you had avoided breakfast and you felt yourself starting to get a bit lightheaded. Your afternoon was spent avoiding James but soon he was preoccupied with Lily anyway.

You were hid in a corner of the library when a cough alerted you of someone's presence. You looked up to find the very eyes you hadn't wanted to see.

You pushed it down with a gulp and smiled a bit at him, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay but they were growing harder to hold back after keeping everything pent up all day. It probably didn't help that you were hungry and therefor a bit more emotional. You could feel the tears sitting in your eyes, waiting for something to go wrong so they had an excuse to escape you.

"I don't know what I did wrong." He mumbled while looking at the floor in front of you and you took a deep breath.

"There's nothing wrong James, I promise. It's just been a long day." You smiled and your heart picked up speed.

"Since when did we lie to each other?" He questioned and your heart stopped. You were left unsure how to respond.

"Since the truth would cause more damage than good." You spoke honestly. At this he looked up at you and your eyes met. A tear left you and James immediately moved to comfort you but you tried to move away, standing quickly to evade him. You regretted it as spots filled your vision, the lack of food catching up to you. You know that you turned a bit green for a moment because James looked slightly scared.

"Y/N I dont know whats wrong but you look like you should be getting to the hospital wing. You don't look well."

Before you could answer you felt your vision blacken and your legs give out before your consciousness left you completely.

When you woke up, you knew you were in the hospital wing. It smelled sterile and the bed was stiff underneath you. When you started to wake madam pomfrey came to check on you.

"You can't go around with an empty stomach like that again, do you hear me?" She scolded, though her eyes were soft. You nodded solemnly. "I was alerted that you hadn't been to the great hall to eat all day, you have to know that isn't good for you. I'm gonna have a prefect watch out for you the next couple days to make sure you're eating at meal times. Understood?" She asked again and once more you nodded before leaning back and sighing. You looked at your surroundings and were surprised to see the black haired boy next to your bed fast asleep. Your heart took off again and you felt trapped by your environment. As anxiety swirled around in your chest, James had woken up a bit.

"You're awake." James sighed, laced with relief. You still wouldn't make eye contact with him.  You felt the bed dip as he sat on it and you looked up to watch him put his head in his hands as he leaned over. You felt guilt fill your chest more than it already had from hating that you felt any claim over the man in front of you. You knew you were in the wrong and the last thing you wanted was to cause him any pain. "Remus talked to me." He almost whispered.

At that moment, you wished you could have apparated to anywhere else in the world. You looked back down at your lap and tears were once again brought to your eyes. You felt betrayal that Remus would reveal your feelings to James.

"I'm sorry." You apologized and you fiddled with your fingers.

"Why are you the one apologizing, I'm the one whos behaved poorly." He assures and you shake your head.

"That's not fair to yourself. You're allowed to want to be with whomever you want and my feelings should have no effect on that. You've made it clear for years that you weren't interested in me and it is my fault that I couldn't take a hint. I'm so sorry." You gushed out and tears started to fall from your eyes. You felt James get up from your bed and you prepared him to leave but instead you felt arms wrap around you and a kiss came to your head.

"Y/N I have had feelings for you for years. I was just always too scared for myself to even consider that you might feel the same." He whispered out but you felt only a different kind of pain. Even though he had now admitted his feelings, he was still dating Lily. Not you. Almost as if he could hear your thoughts he spoke quietly. "I broke it off with Evans." You pulled away immediately.

"What? Why would you do that?" You asked quickly and before he had a chance to answer you feared the worst. "Oh god is it because of me? James please dont let my feelings have any bearing on who you want to date, I can't stand the thought of being the reason you broke up. Even if we do have feelings for each other, you deserve a chance with Lily if that's what you want."

"It was mutual, actually. She understood that I had feelings for you and she said she had a crush on someone else. It just seemed like I had kissed her a bit rashly on the quidditch pitch and we agreed that we shouldn't have gotten together in the first place. It was only a day anyway." He reassured as he explained himself and you calmed a bit.

"So what does this mean." You got out, almost inaudibly.

"It means that, if you'll have me, I'd like to take you out on a date." He stated as if it were the simplest thing in the world and you almost couldn't believe your ears. Before you were even thinking you were nodding quickly, causing spots to once again fill your vision and James grabbed your shoulders to stabilize you before you both laughed. He pulled you by your shoulders toward him and he caught your lips in a kiss that somehow expressed all of the years of repressed feelings. When he pulled away he smiled at you and sat back on your bed. He spent the rest of the day with you in the hospital wing talking about all of the places he was going to take you in the coming weeks.

#harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #hp imagine #hp x reader #the marauders #marauders imagine #marauders x reader #marauders era #james potter #james potter x reader #james potter imagine #james potter fluff #harry potter fluff #james potter angst #hp angst #hp fluff

[miekasa]

mie….could we please get college au eren headcanons👉🏽👈🏽

Of course. I’m always thinking about his big head anyway <33 might as well put it good use.

One thing he learned in college is how to make his hyperfocus/fixation episodes work for him; that’s why he schedules all his classes as close together as possible. He’d rather have class back to back for 5 hours, than have it spread out with hours in between lectures, because that increases his changes of cutting.

You can always tell when he’s in class and/or what class he’s in by how much he responds to your messages. If he doesn’t text back at all, he’s in a class that hard or one he enjoys, or both. But if he’s sending you iMessage games, then you know he’s in his elective that he couldn’t care else about (and is probably cheating in someway somehow lmfao). 

He usually puts his phone on dnd when he’s in a class that’s important, but you’re in his favorite contacts, so your messages always ring through. What if it’s an emergency and you need him for something? Advanced Roots of Human Biology can wait. 

Some days there are one or two our breaks between his lectures, that’s just how the scheduling works out. When that happens, he usually sneaks into one of your lectures, or goes to your place to take a nap. Your roommates have become accustomed to him, honestly they’ve been considering giving him a key. 

Once, he didn’t realize that your lecture was basically a seminar, with you, the prof and maybe six other students. He still stayed lmao, and the prof was so amazed by his dedication, that she didn’t even mind. Occasionally, you’ll catch the two of them talking after lecture. It’s pretty cute the way she’s adopted him into the class even tho he’s not on the roster. 

You... have to show him where the library is lmfao. He genuinely has not stepped foot in one until you bring him to one. He likes it tho lmao once he gets used to it. 

Speaking of which, do not give him standard directions to find your classes on campus because all you’ll get is, “Babe, I’m gonna keep it real with you, I’ve never heard of the ‘West Quad’ a day in my life. What building are you near.”

He usually comes to see you in the library after all his lectures are done for the day. Sometimes he does homework, sometimes he’s just fucking around on his computer, sometimes he’s just bothering you. When you have to leave to go to class, he stays behind to watch your stuff so you don’t have to pack everything up and come back. 

Very protective when it comes to keeping your seat for you. No, you cannot take that chair to your table you good for nothing freshman; it’s reserved for you. 

He’ll drag you out of the library if you’ve been cooped up all day, tho. Eren will use his height and his strength against you to get you up. Placates you with kisses when he sees your angry expression, and promises to buy you food.

He takes your backpack for you when you’re walking together,m. His backpack is frustratingly light all the time, even during midterms. You swear all he’s got in there is a pencil and some flashcards. 

If you have night classes, he sticks around to walk you home after, especially in the winter when it gets dark faster. If he’s not already on campus, he’ll walk/drive back to meet you; he just doesn’t like you going home alone. Even if your friend/roommate is in the class with you, Eren will walk or drive the both of you home for his own sanity. 

He plays sports, so he usually has practice most evenings, but he’ll find a way to make time. If practice was particularly brutal, he’ll probably crash at your place.

He loves it when you come to meet him after practice. His whole face lights up and he waves obnoxiously, before he gathers up his stuff and all but sprints towards you. You get a cold water bottle to the face, or a bit of water splashed on you usually, which he takes immense amusement in. 

He knows it’s not possible for you to make it to all of his games, and usually it doesn’t bother him much; you’ve got your own life, and work to worry about. All he asks is that you wear his jersey, or any item of his sports apparel/merch on game day (he’s partial to hoodies).

By the time junior year rolls around, he’s not all that interested in attending parties that aren’t hosted by your friends; so, unless it’s at Connie, Jean, or Reiner and Bertholdt’s place, Eren will usually decline. Even team parties, he’s not crazy about unless it’s to celebrate a championship or something. He’d much rather celebrate with you. 

He does get excited about hosting parties though, and he and Jean become pretty damn good co-hosts. They don’t throw ragers, and that’s probably why Eren likes it so much. It’s usually your friend group and a couple plus ones, some good music, games, weed, and take-out. 

He’ll buy you coffee whenever you ask for it. The first time, he just orders something plain, not really knowing the difference between anything; but give it two or three tries, and he’ll get it perfect. He becomes so good that he can order you something new/different and you’ll love it. 

That’s kind of the start of his own coffee addiction, and more often than not, when he buys you a cup, he’s on his second or third of the day himself. The flavor has really grown on him, okay. 

He much prefers your apartment, but on occasion, he’ll ask you to come to his. You’ve been studying for so long, a change of environment should do you good, he claims. He’s a fucking liar tho because that’s all Eren Talk for “I do genuinely want you to come over, but my plans are to coerce you out of doing your assignments and doing me instead.”

Lmfao he adds you on Apple Watch Rings just so you can see him close his rings every day and laugh at you. Even if yours get closed by virtue of walking around campus or working out or whatever, his numbers are stupidly high because he fucking has practice at least 4 days of the week. 

Of course when you’re running on a soccer field for 2 hours every day, you close your Move Ring five times, Eren. Leave the rest of us alone. 

He buys you guys matching accessories for your keychains. It’s something pretty cute, and slightly random, but it reminded him of you. It also serves as a reminder to himself to take his fucking keys with him when he leaves his house. 

He sleeps like a fucking rock, so do not let him fall asleep in the library. Waking him up is a mission, and he’s never happy to be woken up. He looks kinda cute tho. 

He schedules dates for you and his friends. Usually by accident, but hear me out. Sometimes he’ll make plans with Armin, then forget that he has class or a test or something; so his solution is to text you, “hey, i forgot min and i were supposed to go some aquarium tomorrow but i have a midterm so here’s the pdf of my ticket, go with him for me, thanks babe love u” then, boop, you and Armin have an aquarium date Friday evening. 

The same thing happens with Mikasa, though, she usually catches the scheduling conflict before Eren does, and invites you out herself. You and Mikasa hang out quite a bit anyway, so it comes to the point where she tells you when she’s gonna hang out with Eren, so you can make yourself free for when he inevitably remember he has a game that day. 

Mikasa is most amazed that you’ve put up with Eren this long lmao. You’ve certainly lessened her Eren & Armin babysitting hours, and for that she’s eternally grateful. Also, she’s just happy to have another close friend. She loves Eren and Armin, but they’re not the most social beings, and she was literally their only friend besides the other for all their childhood PLEASE she’s so happy you’re around. 

It’s Mikasa, however, who babysits you and Eren whenever you both get too drunk. Says you guys are two peas in a pod (affectionate<2)

If you tell Eren something important that happened, like an internship you got, or a good grade in a class, or something, he usually relays that information to his mom pls. He texts her every day, and if she doesn’t ask for an update on you first, he gives her one.

Carla calls you sometimes, too. At least once every few weeks, just to check on you herself. She really likes you for Eren, and is grateful someone is willing to put up with her hotheaded son. 

Eren’s always using your fucking chapstick. Always. You know he has his own, so why he needs to use yours is beyond you. Finds time to make some dumbass comment about how it’s an “indirect kiss” every time he uses it too. Like bro, we’re dating, and have had many direct kisses why are you like this.

He posts on Instagram every few weeks or so, but you’re on his story every few days. Usually, it’s just a video of you minding your business and doing your work while Eren slowly zooms in before making some loud noise to surprise you, all so he can get your reaction on video and laugh at it. He’s annoying. 

He’s a bit of a copycat when it comes to the products you use. He’ll buy the same brand of pens as you (for that matter, all of his school supplies mirror yours because what does he know about the difference between A4 and A5 notebooks?), put a little hand sanitizer on his backpack like yours (and a lotion, too, for good measure), he even copies your Starbucks order until he finds one he likes for himself. It’s one of his love languages <3

If you’re wondering where your eyelash curler went, Eren stole it to try it on himself, hurt himself, vowed to never use it again, went back because he wanted to “do it right and not give up,” liked the results when he didn’t pinch his eyelid, and now it’s his. 

That being said, stop trying to put your Fenty lipgloss on him, it’s never going to happen. Eye makeup, maybe, only if you sit in his lap and he can have his hands on your ass while you do it. 

What he does love is letting you do his skincare. He will set aside dedicated skincare nights, he adores it. Easily one of his favorite things ever. 

You have his wallet. Not because he’s your sugar daddy or anything (although, if you want something, he’d definitely let you use his card to get it; and even if you bought something without asking, he wouldn’t think twice about it), but because he put it in your bag once and never took it out. 

When you tried to give it back, he just shook his head and told you to keep it, “I have my ID in my phone case anyway, and you’re less likely to lose it. Plus I put all my cards on Apple Pay, so I’m good.”

When you do make it to a game of his, he’s all over you when it’s over. Not in a cocky athlete boyfriend kind of way; in a very sleepy boyfriend kind of way. He’s usually got ice on at least one part of his body, and he’s got half his body weight on you as you walk to the car. 

By the time you guys get back to your place, he’s practically sleep walking. The only thing on his mind is taking a hot shower to soothe his muscles, and heading to bed. The aftermath of game days aren’t all that bad though, because even if you didn’t show, you’re always there to kiss him when he’s home and massage his shoulders, and cuddle him to sleep; and that’s his favorite part. 

#anonymous #hes so fucking cute hes my fucking BOYFRIENDDDDDDDDD #eren x reader #aot x reader #eren jaeger x reader #aot imagines #eren fluff #eren smut

[wizkiddx]

hiii!!! omg please please pleasee do a part two of 3 hearts broken cus it fucking slaps miss girl

part 2 to 3 broken hearts!!! ive been so 🥺 at all the lovely comments+interest pt 1 had so thanku all !

summary: serious serious angst again will tom somehow get it back (unlike looking cos boy is a fool)

warnings: again lots of swearing (im British sorry not sorry) / wayyyy too much tea / slating Dom abit (obvs fictional but idk if I like the guy sorry his opinions are :/) / commitment issues

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

read part 1 here!!!!

That was three days ago now. Three days since you'd spoken to your boyfrien- well, Tom. It wasn't evident what the situation was.

The typical British weather brought with it the most ironic pathetic fallacy you could ever see. The clouds were dark and glooming, firing angry pellets of rain out as hard as they could. When you had pulled up on the roadside, it had just been a light drizzle but synchronised with your anxiety levels rising - so did the rain. When you finally opened up the car door, you threw your hoodie open with a sigh before running up the pathway to the front door.

It was the same burgundy red that you knew so well, but this time instead of just letting yourself in - you stood in the rain used the brass knocker thing twice. To be honest, you were hoping that no one was home - but in that house, it was pretty unlikely. After 30 seconds of getting drenched in the downpour, you were about to let yourself in with the spare key before the door swung open.

"Oh! Er Y/n?"

"Yeh um hi." You had to shout a bit over the sound of what must now be classified as a storm.

"Toms not-"

"I know. Can I come in?" As awkward and stunted as this conversation was, if you didn't get out of the rain asap you would literally end up drowned.

“Oh er yeh-yeh yeh come in.”

Harry stammered as he held the door open, gesturing for you to enter into the tiled hallway. Gratefully, you followed, throwing your sopping wet hood back down and wiping your feet on the floor.

"Sorry for just showing up, but I left some scripts here. My management are on my arse to read them and-"

"And you waited till Tom left for mum and dads?" The fluffy-haired boy has caught you red-handed; there was no defence, so you didn't even try.

Because yes, you knew on a Friday afternoon when Tom was home he would always, like clockwork, go to his parents just to kick back and watch gogglebox with both of them. It was only natural then that you chose Friday afternoon to come and pick up your stuff.

"I've been waiting in my car for half an hour till I saw him leave." Harry half laughed at that, still the two of you standing opposite each other in the hallway. "Um, do you… do you hate me Harry?"

Clearly, he hadn't quite been expecting your question going by the way his eyes almost bugged out his head.

"No, I-I, of course, I don't… look, I'm home alone so you fancy a cuppa?" Not being able to help the small chuckle, you nodded appreciatively, following Harry through the house.

"Your answer to everything is tea."

Harry had prepared the two mugs in silence as you sat at the table waiting patiently - if nervously too. You didn't miss how Harry had still used your favourite mug, having had to dig through the cupboard to find the weird square-shaped thing. Once done, he rounded the kitchen island and placed it in front of you, which you instantly cradled in two hands - for the hope of warming you up.

"You cold?" Obviously, it was pretty evident that sitting in your rain-soaked hoodie was not cosy at all. "Hang on a sec."

The boy sprung up again, returning moments later with a hoodie in hand, one he offered out to you with a little smile. The issue was that him and Tom shared clothes, so the hoodie he was kindly offering to you also had been worn by Tom before. Which made it hurt a little bit to wear. It was better than sitting soaked through though.

"How have you been then?"

"Not the best, to be honest, but uh… how about you?"

"Being with Tom while he's fighting with you? Oh, it's a barrel of laughs. You might've escaped it, but I haven't." He was trying to lighten the mood, and you appreciated it, offering him a half-smile that didn't really meet your eyes.

"Yeh sorry about that."

"Don't apologise; it doesn't sound like it's your fault Y/n."

That surprised you. Tom, especially when he was in moods like he was when you argued, wasn't one to admit when he was wrong. It was usually how the world was against him and how he was so hard done by. Accepting responsibility was something he hadn't said to you yet - but at least, small steps.

"He say that?"

"Pretty much… doesn't seem like he's angry at you, but-but he's still angry."

"At the world?" You rolled your eyes; this seemed to be the same old Tom through and through. Still immature. Still not with the right mindset.

"At himself." Harry countered, slightly entertained, when he saw the flash of surprise in your face as he sipped his drink. "And me… if I dare to so much as breathe this week."

This time you properly laughed, and Harry joined in too before the room fell back to silence - except the noise of the rain hitting the garden patio slats. You swirled the tea round in your mug, feeling the brunette's eyes on you. He'd always been your fake little brother too, since you'd met the Hollands way back 3 and a half years ago. Tom and yourself were barely adults, which meant the twins were still proper children. Harry had always been the one that understood you. Hollands, by nature, loved humans - loved to talk, to chat, to gossip. But sometimes, doing all that socialising got too much for you, as it did for Harry. He was the only one that seemed to understand social exhaustion. So when those moments had hit, you'd kept each other company in silence.

He got you, sometimes in ways your own boyfriend didn't.

"You know why he got so worked up, right?" You shook your head, looking up curiously. "Dad got under his skin on his birthday zoom thing."

Ah, now that did seem to coincide with the start of Tom's more petulant phase. To be fair, Tom had been asking to move in together for near enough a year now - but it was only in the past month it seemed to be the only thing you'd talk about and obviously only three days since the flight back. Dom's birthday barely a week ago, whilst you and Tom were both filming - except Tom had managed to get a day off where you hadn't. So you hadn't heard this conversation.

"What'd he say?"

"Was talking about how he and mum were settling down at Toms age, joked about how you rejected him, said maybe you were holding out for something better."

"Something better?" Harry sighed, leaning forward onto his elbows.

"He'd seen an article just off a trashy tabloid… it named you Hollywood's golden girl or something, said you could have the pick of any person on the planet…"

Of all the people in the world, why is Tom affected by shit journalism? He knows how much bullshit people write. He knows how it's all made up, exaggerated nonsense. And what he should know, completely and totally, is how much you love him. And if he didn't, was that your fault? Had you done something wrong, something to make him doubt you?

Harry seemed to notice the internal dialogue going on in your head, adding to the point. "It wasn't the article though, it was the fact dad said it."

Hmmm.

You and Dom got on; it wasn't like you hated the possible future father in law or whatever. Just…. you had very different outlooks. As much as Tom prided himself on how' grounded his family keeps him' -to you at least, they aren't entirely at sea level either. They'd never really had any particular struggles in life. They were the definition of middle class, and that's about it. They lived in a posh suburb of London, had all their family still around. It was the perfect family.

And whilst you were in no illusions about how privileged your life was now. It hadn't always been. You'd never had the 'nuclear' family. Instead, only your dad and a string of dodgy and fleeting stepmothers while struggling to make ends meet. So you were just always wary of Dom, of his opinions that so often his boys took for gospel. They always seemed pretty sheltered and close-minded.

And yet, Tom was a grown man.

"I get that, I just… Tom should know that we know more about our relationship than his dad. I mean,… have I done something wrong? Made him think I'm not in this for the long haul?"

"No nonono Y/n he's just… well he's an idiot, isn't he? I don't think he properly understands why you're cautious about moving and everything. He's just an idio- "

Harry was cut off for lightly insulting his brother by the sound of the front door opening, both of your heads swivelling towards the source. You then met Harry's eyes in a panic, to which he replied relatively simply.

"Just talk to each other. For my sake." You would've argued if it weren't for the fact you were so focused on Tom's shuffling around in the entrance hallway - back early from his parents.

"Baz? Where you at? I thought I saw Y/n's car and-"

"Kitchen!!!" Before Tom could say anything else, possibly landing himself in more trouble, Harry interrupted as his chair screeched while standing up. And then Tom was just there. Standing in the doorway, his arms dropping limply to his side as he noticed you. Everything about that moment seemed to freeze, when you locked eyes with him for the first time in three days. It didn't go unnoticed, the way his Adams apple bobbed, the way his eyes widen. The boy looked plain and simply terrified.

It was Harry who broke the silence, after giving you a stern look that said 'stay'. The younger Holland boy walked up to Tom and spoke.

"Try actually talking and actually listening about your problems with each other." And then he was gone, down the hallway and up the stairs.

For a few moments, Tom stayed absolutely stationary, now staring at where Harry had been when speaking to the both of you (but mainly Tom). Long enough to put your sense of unease at an all-time high, ready to make a break for it.

"If you don't want to talk, then I can leav-"

"NO!" Apparently snapping out of it, Tom exclaimed loud enough to make you flinch from your seat. "Sorry! I-I just… I wasn't expecting to… you know, to see you."

"Yeh I just uh- just came to pick up some scripts… Harry cornered me with a tea, though; otherwise, I'd be…."

"Baz thinks the whole world could be fixed with tea."

"that's what I said!" You instinctively responded, forgetting the fact you're supposed to be mad at him, and just for a second falling back into your normal flow.

Tom didn't even try to hide his grin in response, until you quickly corrected your face- then he did too. Turning around to put the kettle on for himself. Because right now, he needed to fix his whole world, and he needed all the help he could get. For a period, the only noise was the sound of the kettle boiling, then the teaspoon clinking against the mug as he stirred - until he padded over, taking the seat across from you.

"So."

"So."

"It's been a while," Tom stated the bloody obvious.

"You never called."

"Didn't think you'd want me to."

You thought that the early signs weren't all that auspicious. His ability to read a situation once again failing.

"I wanted you to say something."

"Say what?"

"What do you think Tom?" He replied to the sarcastic tone by sucking in a sharp breath, holding it for a second, before slowly exhaling. As if trying to compose himself, take time to think of a response - a mature move for him.

"Well, I think you want me to say sorry? For being so moody and not waiting for you and for upsetting those kids. And thanks too, for covering for me?"

You just hummed. Waiting for him to continue. Because yes, you did deserve all those things. But you also deserved more. An apology for, oh I don't know, saying he didn't think you loved him? It was a wait that never ended, he had nothing more to add.

"Going by your face, I take it I missed something?"

The bloody cheek of it.

"Theres nothing else? Nothing else at all? …" You gave him that chance, the opportunity but all he could respond with was a shake of his head. "You thought I was fine about you saying that I don't love you?" You hadn't intended on raising your voice, but really you hadn't realised you did till after the fact. To blinded by rage at his ignorance.

"You want to talk about this now?"

"When else Tom?" You sighed, realising he perhaps wasn't ready for this conversation. Maybe he needed more time to think things through, have sense talked into him by various wiser family members. Or maybe, he never would be. That was the worst-case scenario. But also… you're most likely prediction.

He shuffled in his seat, clearing his voice but not saying anything. Not a peep.

"I have spent three years of my life with you. I've had countless nights of too little sleep because that was the only time you could facetime. I've exposed my relationship to the world and people's opinions because you didn't want to hide. All I've done is love you. How could you even say that?" There might've been tears in your eyes, yet you were determined to keep them at bay. You needed to have this out, one way or another, to be clear and cohesive and logical. No time to cry.

"Y/n I know that, I…" He sighed, instinctively reaching for your hand, but you were quicker to pull it away. There was hurt in his eyes, but so there should be. "It just sometimes feels like that's it for you. That yeh you love me but you just want to standstill. That this is as much as it'll ever be."

Your emotions were suddenly uncontainable. Your voice croaked as you whispered, "Have I done something wrong?"

"No love, nonono if that's how you feel then that's okay. But it's something I'm not… shit this is hard." He took a pause to take a sip of his drink, your glazed eyes never leaving his. "I don't think I can stand still anymore. And yeh I was pissy and childish the other day because my dad got under my skin about the whole moving in thing… But these past few days, it just has got me thinking. Because I love you, so much."

This time when he reached out to grab your hand, you actually leaned into it yourself. Not because you were giving in, but because this hurt. This hurt so fucking much that you needed something to ground you, or else god knows. Because the way he was speaking, it sounded so finite.

"I love you too."

"I do know, which is…is why this is so hard." At the very least, Tom had conceded that.

The conversation ceased to silence yet again. The room felt so cold; even Tom/Harry's hoodie was doing nothing to keep you from the endless empty cold that seemed to be coming from within.

"When I re-registered my health card last month, and I made you my emergency contact on it. I-I made you my next of kin on everything actually. I didn't think about it twice. And-and this-"You pulled your phone out of your back pocket, immediately pulling up the app onto the open page. "This is my Pinterest board for our baby's nursery theme. I know-" You paused, to quickly wipe your cheeks clear of the tear tracks that may or may not have been there. "I know it's probably a long way away, but I just love the Scandinavian theme." You laughed at yourself, suddenly embarrassed at your blabbering and quickly pulled up a different app. "And this… this was from the other week when I was helping Y/bf/n start her vows." Hands trembling as you turned the phone around for Tom to see again. "She was finding it really tricky so she said, what would you say to Tom on your wedding, so-so I made this list." You only dared to look at him when you were sure he'd be reading through that note.

It was bizarre because he looked… well, he looked happy. Here you were feeling traumatised, showing things that you'd barely even deeped how committed they were - and he was pleased? Feeling the fire burn once again inside of your chest, you quickly swiped the phone away and back into your pocket. Only then did he look up, eyes widening - presumably at quite how psychotic you looked.

"So don't you dare say that I don't want a future with you."

You said it with such force, there was a pause. Tom letting those words sink deep into his brain. The way his expression flickered minutely gave you hope. You thought he got it. You thought he really understood now.

"But why don't you want to move in then?"

There it was again. He knew why. But he didn't get it. And, probably, he never would.

You were about to crash completely. So you ran. As fast as your legs could carry you, not even aware of your chair crashing to the floor in your wake. You ran out of that house and away from him. Away from who you had thought was the love of your life.

?give tom a final chance w one last part?

feedback is always v v appreciated <3

tom taglist : @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08

people i think might be interestd in this (sorry if not just let me know and i'll remove the tag!!!): @obiwanownsmyass @wildxwidow @parkersvogue @coffeewithoutcaffeine @tomhollandlol @thefallenbibliophilequote @clumsymandu @hiraethenthusiast @mannien @abrielleholland @evermorehabit @niallberry @greatpizzascissorstaco @runawayolives @annathesillyfriend @letsgotothemoonlight @lovelybarnes

#tom x reader #tom holland fic #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland angst #famous!reader #tom holland x famous!reader #tom holland x actress!reader #harry holland

[munsnz]

Hii hope you're having a great week! If you feel like writing it i was thinking of a steve h x wheeler!reader, where they're having a dinner at the wheeler's and reader is nervous thinking it's going to be awkward and all but it actually goes pretty well.

LOVELY MESS — STEVE HARRINGTON

WARNINGS: anxiety, language??

PAIRING: Steve Harrington x GN! Wheeler! Reader

PSYCHOIE RADIO: What You Like — Wallows

L: Tysm for requesting anon!! This is actually something I’ve been wanting to write for a long ass time, and I’m so sorry this is a month late, I was In a rut for the third time this year, but finally, here it is!!

“Don’t worry, it’s going to be okay!” The kind-hearted guy, leaned towards you by the metal, old lockers, while you switched your books, shaking your head side to side, “Come on, whatever happened to Nance and I is over.”

Your eyes shifted to meet Steve Harrington’s, your 6-month boyfriend, who was also your younger sister’s ex boyfriend, Nancy Wheeler. Although she may have been younger, Nancy had it all, popularity, the smarts, and the looks, except you, the shadowed sister. Even your brother Mike Wheeler knew that Nance had outshined you, still being younger than you. That terribly tumbled apart as soon as Nancy confessed that she no longer loved Steve, telling him it was all bullshit, the words that hurt Steve those past nights.

You somehow got ahold of him, to get over the breakup as the two of you fought for the fate of the world along the group of kids, Mike’s friends, bringing you guys closer, leading up to confessing their feelings for one another.

“Steve I’d think it would be a bad idea.”

”How would it be a bad idea if we never tried it?” Steve cheekily grins, placing a warm kiss on your thin lips, smiling between them. You pushed his chest away with your hands, making him whine, “One more kiss come on! Or else we’ll have to go to the dinner!!”

You placed a notebook to block his wildly handsome face from kissing you again, giggling hysterically, “No, that’s my final answer.”

Steve had always been so fond about your family, the Wheelers, he knew Mike due to the previous events with the Mind Flayer and has met your mom when he was together with Nancy. But you still think it’d be awkward, you were going to bring your boyfriend, not your friend, nor Nancy’s boyfriend, but yours.

In denial, you always tried to not touch the subject, scared of it going wrong. As you saw Steve pout and cross his arms like a child, he mumbled, “I promised it’ll be ok, just let me go for once.”

”You already went to their house!” You squeaked as your palm hit his shoulder, slapping him playfully.

Steve raises his eyebrows, straightening his face while he sternly stares at you, “Yeah but I went as Nancy’s boyfriend, not yours right? So give me a shot honey.”

“I don’t know,” You started pacing along the hallway to get to class, knowing you were five minutes late, the weirdest thoughts flooding in. What if your parents don’t like the fact you’re with Steve? What if they prefer Nancy with him instead? What if-

Clearing his throat and whispering in your ear, Steve mumbled jokingly, “I know you’re overthinking Y/N.”

“Stop it!” You move a strand of hair from your face, clutching your books tighter, strolling away from him to the hallway of lockers, “What if it gets awkward? What if my parents don’t like the fact you’re with me!?”

”Can you at least think about it?” He shouts from afar, leaving his arms in the air, trying to get your attention while you tried your best to ignore him.

Soon enough, a teacher peeped their head out of the corresponding room towards the hallway for the source of disruption to find Steve’s tall figure continuing to get your attention, “Harrington! Off to class, you’re late!”

”Right! I’m sorry m’am,” Steve rapidly nods, zooming away to his Basketball period, where he knew for sure he’d get in trouble with the couch for being late. Still awaiting for his proposal to be answered with his loving mess, for a one of a kind dinner with your family, the Wheelers.

”Mike I swear to god you better not embarrass me!” You rush down the rug stairs, fixing your hair as you tucked it behind your ear, chasing your younger brother down. After Steve’s persuasion driving you nuts for that same day you both talked, you finally gave in to bring him over on a Thursday night under one condition, he wasn’t allowed to embarrass you or himself, just to keep things proper, and not awkward between your family.

As the days grew closer to the date of the dinner, the more anxious you got to the point you couldn’t bare to see Steve, keeping you and your thoughts to yourself for the past weeks. It was simple, a simple gathering with your family and boyfriend.

What could go wrong?

Everything and anything. From your parents making you look like a fool to be going out with your sister’s ex to Steve making a terrible impression on them although he’s met them already. You weren’t so logical, you were scared, not nervous but scared. What if this whole dinner would be an awkward disaster full of embarrassment and inconvenience?

But here you were, getting ready for the small event taking place in your home, chasing your brother to shut him up due to his witty comments. Now shoving your little sister Holly softly on the side to clear Mike’s path, he taunted, “Well I’m not the one kissing the pillow thinking it’s Steve! Mwah mwah!”

”Thats not true, Mike!”

You tried to reach to stop Mike from speeding through the kitchen but before you could make any other move, Mrs. Wheeler scolds at you two, “No running inside the house!”

”Sorry mom!” Both you and Mike loudly shout, slowing down your pace, suddenly catching up to Mike by dragging the collar of his blue striped polo.

As he squealed in pain and angst, you tackle him to the couch, tickling his sides on the soft brown cushion, “I got you! Now say it! Surrender!”

”Never!” His high-pitched giggled filled the cozy room, squirming under you, trying to free from your grip. Another wave of the tingles on his ribs were coming back, your fingers moving on his back.

You continued to make him laugh hysterically, lowering your voice to mimicking a villain both of you once watched on tv during a weekend night, “You must proclaim yourself as a liar! Or ye shall face the consequences!”

“I will not surrender-“

Instantly after the sharing of laughter being held by the siblings, you heard the rhythmic chime from the doorbell, Holly was making a fuss about her lack of apple juice in her sippy cup as Nancy tried to leave the porcelain plates on the clothed table in the dining room. You and Mike frantically got up from the couch after your mother was pulling you away apart, “Hey, he’s here!”

Shit.

You knew for a fact your loved one was here, an awful feel of unease aroused, making you tense unlike the past few moments before you heard the doorbell. Steve Harrington was here, at your door, for dinner with your family.

Gulping nervously, you hurried to get the door, but surprisingly Mrs. Wheeler got there before you could stand up from the comfortable couch, your heart pacing at an unstoppable speed, ruffling your top. Mrs. Wheeler opened the wooden door to find that same familiar, attractive face, both Mike and you peering on the side, roses in his hands.

”Mrs. Wheeler!” Steve kindly greets, handing her the bouquet of roses at the door, making her receive them with a soft grin.

“Hey there Steve- oh!” Mrs. Wheeler yelps when Mike harshly shoved you next to your mother, bumping shoulders with her, goofily grinning in front of him.

”Hi Steve,” You childly mimicked, but realizing the fool you made yourself look like, regretting your stupid action you made in front of your boyfriend.

As your mom signaled the brunette to walk inside the welcoming room, Steve lightly pecked your cheek, slightly bringing you closer to himself from the side as both of you solemnly walked inside the warm room. Watching the two of you, Mike made smooching and kissing noises behind you, kicking him in the shin, squeaks of pain coming out of your younger brother’s mouth in order for him to shut up.

And right as you saw Nancy slightly wave at him while walking off rapidly to find Holly for dinnertime, a sense of insecurity rushed in you. You leisurely shifted away from him, his eyes darting towards you knowing that something was up while Mrs. Wheeler rushed to the kitchen for the home cooked meal. Only 5 minutes in of the gathering and you were an anxious mess already, quietly panicking if anything else so terrible would happen, your fingers tapping the side of your thighs where they stood upon you.

“You know you can sit down right?” A gentle voice, your sister’s voice perked in the silence telling Steve. Nancy holding the little one in her arms, moved to sit Holly down as Mike lounged in the wooden chair almost staring you down jokingly to see your funny expressions.

Steve whips his head around, chuckling softly, pulling out a chair for you to sit in, “Yeah, this is why this is a dinner Nancy. You know, for sitting down and eating?”

A silence formed between the five of you, later on creating an awkward melody of chuckles being shared between Nancy and Steve, then turning away from each other, leaving this pit in your stomach at such uncomfortable state. Thoughts. Terrible thoughts rolled in meanwhile you sat which Steve offered to give you, Mike’s eyes widening while drinking the glass of milk being on the top of the table to try his best not to giggle.

Afterwards, Mrs. Wheeler interrupted the awfully weird silence with a fake, cheerful tone you knew wouldn’t be her usual self, carrying in the large plate with roasted chicken. She strictly ushered you and Nancy to bring in the rest of the side dishes from the kitchen out to the dining room as Mike and Steve chatted a little before your father strolled in to greet your boyfriend.

“Chill out Y/N,” Nancy places her thin hand on your left arm calmly, you turned your head around you understand what she was saying, “You seem tense, it’s okay.”

You scoffed at her comment jokingly, placing the bowl of greens onto the table when Nancy put the dish with fresh mashed potatoes as well. All of you took a seat, ready to feast, Steve clearing his throat to speak up, “Thank you so much Mrs. Wheeler for inviting me and for this wonderful dinner.”

“No problem Steve, ever since we met you with Nancy, you’ve been a great guy,” Your mother softly smiled, but changed her expressions once you shot your eyes towards her, “Anyways, enjoy the meal.”

Mumbles of thank yous and your welcomes being shared between one another, beginning to eat the delicious food for the evening. Shakily, you grabbed onto the silver fork, stabbing it into the chicken to eat it, the sound of plates moving around and cups being sipped, you decided to speak up, “Steve has been hanging out with Mike lately, they’re getting alone quite well.”

Your mother’s eyes widened, “Oh really? That seems like fun, having an older brother figure must be pretty cool knowing that Mike has grown up with a house full of girls right?”

Caught off guard from his meal, Mike hesitantly nodded while he falsely smiled, peering over to Steve for an agreement, “Yeah, Mike might be a little trouble with the rest of the boys, but he’s fun to be with at times.”

”A little trouble,” Your brother repeated jokingly under his breath, applying a mischievous look on his face, leaning back onto his chair, “I don’t think Y/N and Steve studying their human anatomy is-“

Before any reactions were being made from the regrettable comment your annoying brother made, Nancy slapped her hand across his mouth to shut up before he said anymore weird nonsense about you and your significant other. Steve worriedly glanced towards you with a beet red tinted face, almost wishing your mom hadn’t heard him while you stuffed your face trying to hide your expression.

“Michael what was that?” Mrs. Wheeler shot up a look towards your brother, laying her fork down with a confused face, “Human anatomy?”

In a stuttering mess, you tried to bring up some lame excuse to cover up along with Steve, you were sick to your core, knowing the stupidity that Mike claimed to be. It could be that your parents would say something terrible, you were flushed in multiple shades of red. You knew this dinner was even more terrible than expected, now your brother was making you and Steve look like a couple of fools, your hands sweating. Nancy chimed in to help between your idiotic stumbling, “It was this code name Mike used with the party and them.”

“Mmm yeah totally!” Steve wearily smiled, readjusting the hem of his red blouse he wore, watching you nod in response, a wave of relief washing inside you, “It’s the most oblivious things that are the most secretive, right Mike?”

Both you and Nancy darted a death glare towards the black-haired boy, who nodded rapidly under the threat of the siblings, “Yeah, Dustin was the one who made it up.”

”Kids these days,” Your father, Mr. Wheeler mumbles, slicing his part of the chicken in half with the butter knife as he shook his head.

Mrs. Wheeler humbly agreed, you mouthed a silent “thank you” towards Nancy’s direction, giving you a kind thumbs up later to kick Mike’s shin under the table, a quiet yelp escaping his lips for the second time. Later, feeling your hands gripping ever so tightly onto Steve’s large ones, being placed on your shaky leg.

Nancy brought up a conversation about an upcoming school event for the seniors at Hawkins High, Steve being able to catch up on the conversation. The mood was slightly calmer than it were before, things lessened up a bit as your harsh grip softened, feeling more balmy. Your boyfriend smiled, while looking off to your mom and dad who were intrigued by the conversation you were all having. Peace at last, worries washed away, it was okay.

Giggles and words were filled the large home, dessert was already handed out, Steve was on a roll to making your parents life along with your siblings, everything had merrily turned out great except the part where your mother talked about your embarrassing stories when you were little. This wasn’t so bad after all, Steve was definitely correct for once.

“Okay I have one more joke,” Your boyfriend sighed happily after the amount of laughter shared, your cheeks almost hurt from smiling too much. Steve set down his spoon then proceeded, “What did the grape say when they squished it?”

Everyone on the table shrugged, waiting for the hilarious response from him, Mike being close to burst into laughter before he said anything until Steve cleared his throat to answer, “Nothing, it just whined a little, get it?”

Once the joke was heard, your family surrounded the room with laughter, Mrs. Wheeler happily sighed after catching her breath, getting up to take the dessert plates back to the kitchen, picking one up at a time. Meanwhile your father and sister chuckled, you smiled like a freak towards Steve who was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

“See? I told you you shouldn’t have worried about his,” He whispers softly, giving you a light kiss, smiling as well, “You’re a lovely mess.”

You smacked his shoulder, earning a laugh from him, “I know I know, but at least I’m your lovely mess right?”

”Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Both Nancy and Mike, your siblings chanted with cheeky smiles plastered on their face, being in front of you and overhearing your conversation. Steve leaned in and shut his eyes to peck your lips, suddenly you placed a napkin in front of you to avoid him, catching him off guard. Such small act brought your siblings to laugh at him, he shook his head playfully, sniggering along. Maybe this wasn’t so bad, this brought all of you together, it was okay, no, better than okay. I guess it was just Steve’s lovely mess.

tags — @samiyamuntaha @thepowerstoner @ughgclden

masterlist — request open

#steve harrington imagines #Steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington oneshots #steve harrington X reader #steve Harrington request #Steve Harrington x you #steve Harrington x Wheeler! Reader #Steve Harrington x GN! Reader #steve harrington headcanon #steve harrington angst #steve Harrington smut #Nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #Stranger things #stranger things x you #stranger things imagine #stranger things oneshots #psychoie #stranger things fanfic #GAH FINALLY IN THE WRITING MOOD

[shokobuns]

“𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐛𝐫𝐨?”

your irritating step brother likes to come in your room during your zoom classes.

PAIRING: stepbro!gojo satoru x f!reader

GENRE(S): smut, quarantine!au (au? LMAO), college!au, taboo

WORD COUNT: 2.7k

WARNING(S): darkish, smut, drug use (weed), high sex, stepcest, taboo, slight dubcon, slight manipulation, exhibitionism (if you squint), sensory deprivation (blindfold), degradation, size kink, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f receiving), squirting, dacryphilia (if you squint)

(A/N): this rly do be my first time using proper capitalization huh, anyways all characters, SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD THE READ MORE I FIXED IT 

More.

One thing you easily learned about Satoru was the fact he wasn’t easy to satisfy. He’s demanding, cocky, all the while being nonchalant. He rarely exerts effort, but gets the desired results. He’s arrogant, but it’s nearly impossible to point out a flaw to counter it at all.

It makes your head hurt. It makes your teeth clench.

When you make eye contact, you make sure to stare back daggers. When you’re forced to talk to him, your voice stays monotone and expressionless. When you’re in a room with him for more than five minutes, your earbuds are already out, drowning out the sound of his voice. But it’s all difficult when you’re under the same roof.

Knock. Knock.

You roll your eyes at the sound of your step brother knocking your door, wondering what the hell he wants now. At this point, he’s probably just trying to annoy you, poke at your sides until he gets attention, any kind of attention, all just to satisfy his boredom.

Your calm demeanor and sharp tongue has always contrasted with Satoru’s teasing attitude. He’s always seemingly trying to provoke you, trying to pry apart the walls you’ve barricaded yourself in. His personality never rubbed you in the right way from the day your dad surprised you with a dinner with your new brother and your new mom. It didn’t matter anyways, you thought. You’d be going off to university soon enough.

The pandemic ran over all of your plans like a truck.

Better yet, your parents still had work without the option of staying home, leaving you and Satoru home alone for a little over eight hours a day. When he wasn’t in class or tutoring his juniors, he was knocking at your door, most likely red-eyed, though you can’t see it, and relaxed. Despite his persistence, you rarely let him in no matter how insistent he is in “getting to know his new lil sister.”

“Go away, Satoru.”

Behind the door, he pouts while you scribble down notes from the screenshared presentation. He comes in anyways, reeking of marijuana and cologne, half of his shirt buttons undone. You steal a small glance before once again glueing your eyes to your computer screen. The voice of your professor bores you, but you’re hyper aware of Satoru’s presence as he makes himself comfortable on your bed. “Get the fuck off! You stink!” You yell, turning off your camera before throwing a pencil right at him.

He catches it mid air with ease, relaxing his head on your pillows while fiddling with one of your many Sanrio plushies. “Can I have this?” he asks, holding one up as you contemplate its value in your head.

“If it gets you out of my room, then sure.” you reply in a monotone voice, turning back to your notes.

“You’re no fun,” he mumbles, rolling over to lay on his side with the plushie in his arms, “Is that organic chem?”

“Yeah, can you go now?”

“I’ll be quiet, princess. Don’t worry about me, just wanna know what my lil sis is up to.” He waits for a response, but is only rewarded with a huff.

It stays like that for the next ten minutes, him watching your professor’s lecture, you scrambling to write all of the information on the slides as he continues the fast paced lesson. You’re hyper focused on your class, putting in your effort to absorb the entirety of the content. In your mind, the only people in your room are your and your computer. “You know, you don’t have to understand everything all at once,”  a voice speaks up from behind you, causing you to purse your lips in annoyance, “It’s easier to learn when you’re actually paying attention to the lecture instead of focusing on trying to get everything down.

“We get it, Satoru. You have straight A’s and you’re naturally good at everything.”

“Hey, you’re getting advice from an aspiring teacher. Don’t need to use that tone with me, Princess.” He mumbles, rolling to his back on the bed, “Just tryna help you out in my free time.”

“I don’t need your help.”

He stays silent while you go back to drawing some of your basic compounds. Ethanol, methanol, propane, all of it. Your scribbles are messy and they progressively fill out the page in your notebook. You hear a tsk behind you, rolling your eyes as you prepare for another criticism from Satoru. Sure, he was probably right, but you refuse to feed into his ego. “Does he not link the slides to you guys or something?” he asks, this time with a friendlier tone.

“He does.” you reply, swiveling your chair until you’re facing him. He’s laying on his side again, his shirt spilling off his shoulder as your breath hitches at the sight. The blindfold is snug against his face, his hair pushed up. You’re sure that the stink of marijuana has rubbed onto your sheets and you make a mental note to wash them after class. “Then get high with me.”

“I’m in the middle of class, dumbass.”

“But you can always look at the slides later.” he suggests, “Plus, you’ve looked super stressed lately. Wonder why.”

Because of you, you want to say, but you stop yourself, opting to stay silent while pondering the offer. “Sure.”

He excitedly walks back to his room, returning to your bed seconds later with a joint between his fingertips. “This your first time?”

“Nah.”

“Ooooo,” he hums like a child, “That’s what you’re up to when we’re not around, huh?” he teases and you shake your head with a smile forming on your face.

“I guess.”

He shrugs, holding the joint up to your lips and lighting up the tip. You suck in the smoke into your lungs, holding it in, before exhaling out the screen door of your window. He takes a hit, opening his mouth and inhaling through his nose then passing it back to you. Your professor’s lecture fades into background noise as you fixate on Satoru, finally giving him the attention he’s been craving for weeks. He makes a mental note to offer you weed the next time he’s overcome by boredom.

The high hits you almost immediately. You’ve never had anything this strong and it’s liberating. You feel weightless, but your eyelids feel heavy. Your face is awfully warm and lifted and your vision gets more and more blurry by the second. The intoxication is pleasant, the present worries in your head being cut off as you focus on what’s right in front of you.

Satoru.

Satoru, your dear, irritating step brother who was kind enough to share the weed he stashes in his drawer. It’s getting harder and harder to hate him and you can’t reason why you felt so many negative emotions that you projected onto him at all. Sure, your room reeks and it’s all because of him, but the sight of him laying on your bed in a shirt that barely covers up his upper body makes your underwear feel uncomfortable. You don't know where it’s coming from, but shutting it out was easy when you’re sober. Key word: sober.

You stand from your desk, making your way to your bed and laying next to him. Both of you face each other, easily getting comfortable, warmth radiating off his body. It feels oddly intimate and your thighs press together in order to suppress the lustful feeling that takes over your body. Your arm comes around to the back of his head, tugging on the fabric that covers his eyes. “Can I take it off?”

“Sure.”

He lifts his head, allowing you to pull on the knot until it becomes undone. You don’t know what you were expecting, maybe a scar or something, but you’re in awe of the blue orbs that make you feel like you were staring into infinity. They’re bloodshot and half lidded and it’s when one fact you really didn’t want to accept hits you.

Satoru Gojo is one of the prettiest men you’ve ever seen.

And he’s your step brother.

Uneasiness stirs in your lower tummy and you curse at whatever higher power that decided to give you this type of luck, but a hand on your hip trails to your back, pulling your closer and closer until your faces are at a dangerous distance. You can feel your cheeks becoming alarmingly hot and you hate that you can’t blame it on the weed. His hand comes up to your cheeks, his thumb stroking the soft skin. “Thought you wanted me to go away?”

“Changed my mind.” you whisper, eyes slowly closing, lips parting open as you wait for him to lean in and close the gap.

“Hmm? What’s this?” he sneers, causing your eyes to shoot open and your body to jolt up from your bed. The hazy feeling on your head still remains, making it hard to stand completely straight. “Get out.” you sternly demand, leaning back on your desk chair and pointing towards your door.

“Why should I? I don’t think you really want me to leave, babe.” He props his head on his hand, leaning his elbow onto your mattress.

“It’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong? We’re just two people hanging out on a bed. Unless you were trying to do something else, dirty girl.”

“I- I wasn’t! You’re my step brother!”

“Step brother.” He repeats, justifying your actions.

You’re shaking, guilt occupying your mind keeping you distracted. It’s the perfect time for Satoru to get comfortable in the space between your legs, pulling down your loose shorts and taking you by surprise. Before you have a chance to protest, his nose brushes against your sensitive core, making you let out a squeak. “W-We can’t do this!”

“Didn’t you want this?” he questions, looking up at you with wide eyes, “Wanted me to take care of this pretty little pussy, right?”

You know you should be refusing. You know you should be pushing him out your door. But it’s so hard when his pupils are dilated and the grip on the sides of your thighs feels so right. At this point, you’re not thinking, only nodding along to whatever he’s saying, anticipating his next actions.

“So wet.” He mumbles, pulling down the flimsy fabric and throwing it off somewhere in the room. He licks a thick stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking softly on the pearl while holding you down as the pleasure causes you to jolt upwards. He sucks and slurps like it’s his last meal, making your empty walls pulsate and little whines along with to leave your lips. Looking down, your eyes meet his, the lower half of his face immersed in your cunt.

The wet muscle fucks into you, curling and pressing against your walls, while his thumb rubs against your little clit. He hits all the right spots that make you squirm, pushing your legs wide open to see more of your ruined pussy. The wetness collects on his mouth, his chin, and his cheeks, filling him with a sick sense of satisfaction. “Such a whore, aren’t ya?” he pulls away to comment, but your fingers thread through his hair, pushing his head back where you need him most.

The action is assertive, something he usually hates dealing with. Though this time, he’s filled with a sick sense of pride at the fact that he was able to turn you, someone who seemed to hate him with a burning passion, into a moaning mess with just his mouth. He hums satisfactorily, sending vibrations into your sensitive core that make your thighs shaky.

You’re already cumming in an embarrassingly short time, gushing all over his face while he laps up all the juices you have to offer.

Before you can process anything else, his lips capture yours, lifting your body and dropping you onto your bed. You look at him with half lidded eyes, still sensitive from your last orgasm, while he pulls off his own clothes. His length rests on the inside of your thigh and he’s huge, so huge that it feels heavy against your skin and it scares you. “Satoru, I don’t think I can take you-”

“Shhh, princess,” he reassures you, “You started this. You have to take it.”

He doesn’t give you a chance to speak, taking the fabric of his blindfold and covering your eyes, tying a tight knot on the back of your head. This isn’t right, a voice in your head tells you, but you ignore it because Satoru treats you so well. He keeps you company, gives you some of his weed, eats your pussy without you having to ask him.

The only thing you can see is black and you whine. You so badly want to see Satoru’s pretty face, his chiseled body, his thick cock, but your thoughts are interrupted by the fat tip prodding at your tiny hole. “Too big..” your voice trails off as your mind is lifted, only the feeling of him splitting you in half remaining. You’ve never felt so full and it feels so dirty, yet your slick says otherwise, betraying any rational part that still resides in your body.

“I got you, Princess, don’t worry.” He slurs, drunk on the sensation of your snug walls. The stretch strings, whimpers spilling from your lips, but his cock hits every spot like no other. By the time he’s fully inside of you, it feels like he’s actually in your guts and it’s all intensified by the isolated feeling, not being able to see him at all. Every bite on your shoulder, every kiss on your open mouth, every delicious drag on your gummy walls is amplified.

You’re already cumming around him, a ring of cream forming on his cock as he gazes down at your bare body, wrapping his lips around a sensitive nipple. You squeal, your breath hitching at the same time you clamp down around his throbbing length. “Already? Such a sensitive little princess, aren’t you?” He mutters in your ear, your nails digging into his shoulders, piercing the pale skin. Tears spill from your eyes, flowing down the sides of your face.

His teeth sink into your shoulder and you want to tell him to stop, but the words don’t quite leave your lips. Only babbling noises accompanied by the wet sounds of your cunt and skin slapping against skin. He’s still pounding into your cervix at a relentless pace, in awe of how your slick drips down his balls and onto the white sheets. 

Every time he hits that sweet spot, there’s an odd feeling that forms, like you’re about to make a mess. And when your next orgasm washes over you in intense waves of euphoria, a clear liquid spurts from your cunny, coating his lower stomach and your inner thighs. “Who knew my little princess was such a messy girl?” he taunts, making your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“S-shut up-”

“Don’t worry about it,” he leans in close, his lips dangerously close to your ear, “I’ll clean it all up.”

His smooth voice causes you to squeeze around him, almost like you don’t want him to ever leave your cunt, and it gets harder and harder for him to move. “Fuck, baby you’re so tight, need you to loosen up,” he mumbles, his own orgasm finally approaching, your little cunny milking him for all he’s worth. 

He’s rambling little praises, hot pleasure elevated by the high, his hips stuttering and his cock stuffing you to the brim with his warm seed. You both lay there, still intertwined and his body resting on top of yours.

“Ms. (L/N)! Did you have any questions about my lesson today?”

Your face drops in horror, your hand immediately pulling off the blindfold, as you push Satoru away from you and press the leave button on Zoom. A mix of your juices drop onto the floor and he chuckles, pulling you back to bed. “This isn’t over.”

He pins you back onto the mattress, his cock twitching at the sight of your leaking cunt, pulling your thighs until you’re close and pinning them to your chest. In one swift movement, his entire cock is shoved into your cunt, his balls slapping against the flesh of your ass with every thrust, fucking his cum back into your womb.

Gojo Satoru would never be satisfied.

#gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo x reader #tw.weed #tw.manipulation #tw.dubcon #tw.degradation #tw.squirting #tw.creampie #tw.stepcest #tw.high sex #tw.exhibitionism #tw.oral #tw.size kink #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo smut #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x y/n #jjk fics #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen fic #jujutsu kaisen x reader #tw.sensory deprivation #tw.dacryphilia #🌟 — works!

[zukkababey]

modern college zukka falling in love with each other in their respective zoom squares during quarantine class and they private chat each other during class but they’re real stupid and don’t know that the host can see private messages so then they get in trouble for being cute and not paying attention

anon, why are you in my and @engagedzukka’s brain... we literally had a whole conversation about this au like, 2 days before i got this ask.

anyway, here’s what we came up with:

sokka’s the guy on zoom who has a super messy room and absolutely doesn’t care. he asks questions to professor piandao and is super engaged with the lecture. he has a bi pride flag on the wall behind him.

zuko’s the one who always has his camera on, always stays on mute, and has like 3 different cats walking across his screen at all times. he has dao swords on the wall behind him.

the swords are what initially peak sokka’s interest. (not that zuko is so very clearly smoking hot, pffffft, no, that’s definitely not the reason.)

sokka pins zuko to the screen instead of the professor. he learns better if he’s looking at something he’s interested in, right?

at some point, sokka physically cannot hold himself back from dming zuko. he types:

i see you wield dual blades.

zuko makes no sign that he’s read the message, or that he’s even gotten it. he goes on being stupidly attractive and perfectly poised. it isn’t until the end of the lecture when zuko sends back:

?

no, i’m gay.

sokka has to turn off his camera before his face does something truly embarrassing, but then the lecture is ending and sokka never had time to respond.

so, sokka keeps on messaging zuko. sometimes it’s stuff about the lecture, like a long tangent on astronomy and star systems because sokka’s really into the class subject. other times he sends a bajillion emojis in response to zuko’s cats. every so often, he’ll try to send a joke that will make zuko smile or laugh on the other side of the zoom call. zuko never smiles or laughs, much to sokka’s disappointment. 

but, zuko always responds. the only problem is that he responds at the very end of lectures, when sokka doesn’t have time to message him back.

one day, one of zuko’s cats—which sokka has learned is named druk—climbs onto zuko’s chest and nuzzles into his neck. zuko must be used to druk using him as a personal cat bed, because zuko barely even bats an eye, hugging druk closer and pressing his cheek to the top of his head.

sokka, who is feeling particularly bold on this fine friday morning, messages him:

where’s my hug? 🥺

zuko, as always, doesn’t give any acknowledgement that he’s read sokka’s message. but then, at the very end of the lecture, sokka gets a response: 

ask me on a date and maybe you’ll find out. 

sokka doesn’t have the brain capacity to comprehend that, so he’s almost thankful that the lecture ends less than twenty seconds later. 

almost. 

sokka spends the whole weekend consulting with literally everyone he knows on how to ask zuko out. what should they do? how should he ask?

in the end, he decides on stargazing. it’s supposed to be a clear night on monday, it’s relevant to the course, and he could talk about astronomy for literal hours. the date should go off without a hitch. 

sokka logs into zoom on monday with an air of determination. he’s fairly confident he’s not about to get turned down—zuko gave him permission to ask him out, after all. 

he knows that zuko’s going to message him at the end of class, so sokka also waits until near the end of lecture. after what feels like eons of waiting, he sends the message he’s had typed out since the start of class:

it’s supposed to be a clear night tonight. want to go stargazing with me? i can tell you about constellations i bet piandao has never even heard of.

zuko responds:

so your idea of a first date is basically giving me more homework?

sokka’s immediate thought is oh shit. 

but then there’s a message coming through with an address, then another right after it:

pick me up at 8. 

professor piandao, who’s been keeping up with the Sokka and Zuko Show since the beginning of the semester, ends the zoom lecture with a sigh of relief. finally, finally, those two got their shit together. maybe now they’ll pay attention more in class. 

spoiler alert: they don’t. if anything, they get more distracted. between one lecture and the next, sokka’s usual background changes completely. and—was that just zuko’s cat that walked across sokka’s screen? piandao doesn’t think that it’s a coincidence that he can see sokka talking to someone off screen, and that zuko, who’s never once cracked a smile before, is laughing. piandao sighs wearily. thank goodness the semester is almost over.

#zukka #zukka au #i am this 👌 close to writing this out in full #i do not have the Time #stop it rachel STOP IT #anonymous #answered

[biggest-stupidhead]

more modern au levi x reader!! is it okay where reader makes petra jealous???

Just a reminder: WE DO NOT CONDONE PETRA SLANDER IN THIS HOUSE!!!

with that said, I will write this heavily focused on Petra to make it a lil angsty, hope you enjoy!

Summary: Petra watches her ex fall for another

Word Count: 1.7K

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It had been two long years since Petra and Levi ended things. It wasn’t messy but it was painful, she had seen it coming from a mile away. He had grown just as distant as he had been when they first met. Staying late at work, texting her dryly, and using terrible excuses. Although she had known it was coming, she still was a wreck when he actually ended things. She spent the months following the break up drinking wine and crashing at Oluo’s place regularly. After two years she was finally feeling better, dare she say, ready to get back into the dating scene? Or at least that’s what she thought, she was scrolling through her instagram feed when she stumbled across Hange’s page. It was someone’s birthday, someone she wasn’t familiar with. 

A woman with bight eyes and an even brighter smile was in the center of the group photo. On her right was Levi, who had an arm thrown casually over her shoulder, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. Petra pinched the screen to zoom into Levi’s side, where she saw a feminine hand on his waist. She stared stupidly at the image. She shouldn’t feel jealous, she had no right. It had been two long years since the break up. But the picture only dredged up old memories of times when she would hold Levi that same way. When that smile was directed to her. She then turned her attention to the caption, which read: 

Happy Birthday (Y/n)! 24 never looked so good!

She then scrolled through the comments, many of them consisted of birthday wishes and support. She lost interest when she didn’t see Levi’s username and instead went back to the collection of photos, three of them in all. The group one that she assumed had just been taken, the second one was a picture of Hange and you on the beach, Petra felt a involuntary wave of self consciousness wash over her at the site of you in a swim suite. The final picture was the one that hurt the most though, it seemed to be a very old picture of you, maybe from your early years in college? You were sitting on a couch with younger versions of Hange, Erwin, Levi, and Moblit. Levi’s arm was casually thrown over your shoulders. Why had he never mentioned you before? Were you the reason that they broke up? No Levi had assured her that it wasn’t like that, said he wasn’t seeing anyone else. She tried to stop herself from going down that rabbit hole, but she couldn’t seem to. Before she really knew what she was doing, she had clicked on your profile which she was almost disappointed to find as public. This meant that there was nothing stopping her from judging every perfect image that was posted, and to her pleasant surprise, there was only one photo of you and Levi. The photo was posted the week prior, the two of you were hiking in the mountains, the dusty trial behind you. Your face was flushed from the exertion of the climb, Levi seemed cool as a cucumber, his face blank and void of emotion. She scrolled through the post and found a video, the sound of your shoes crunching and Levi talking behind you were clear as day. 

“I mean come on, who uses fucking Lipton? Have some god damn class.” Levi spat, as you snorted in amusement. Petra found herself chuckling along with you at Levi’s little rant. She felt a rogue tear slide down her cheek when you showed the phone to Levi, who’s face fell from being mildly animated to apathetic once more. You cackled as he swiped the phone and the video ended abruptly. It was so innocent, it was clear from the rest of your page that you were a private person, much like Levi. With little indication that you were dating him, it left her wanting to know more. More about the girl that had taken her place, had managed to worm her way into Levi’s heart of stone and make herself comfortable. As soon as these thoughts crowded into her head, she deleted instagram all together and powered her phone down, determined to wipe her memory of the images she had seen. 

__

The music was a nice distraction from the awkwardness that hung in the air. You had arrived uncharacteristically early to Hange’s party, and consequently meeting a whole group of people that you had never met before. The new people were about your age, three young men and one stunning young woman. It was early fall and Hange’s annual bonfire bash as you all had dubbed the event. Basically you lit a massive fire, when you were younger it was your past assignments from your pervious school year, then it became just regular old wood. You tapped your finger against the cool beer bottle as you leaned up against the counter, the men were laughing obnoxiously as they dropped the alcohol that they’d brought into one of the many coolers. The woman was looking at you almost nervously, she seemed extremely on edge, shifting her weight back and forth, eyes wandering around the room in a jittery manner. You frowned, wondering what was bothering her, but ultimately deciding that it was not really your business. Erwin shimmied behind you, his hands on your shoulders as he slide past you into the kitchen. You caught his arm, clinging to his familiar presence. 

“Erwin.” you hissed as he stooped to reach your level. 

“Who are these people?” you asked as you held his bicep firmly in your grasp. He pulled away and looked at you with a confused expression. 

“You mean Levi didn’t tell you?” He said slowly, clearly he was unsure if it was his place to speak on the relationship between Levi and these people. 

“No....” You said carefully, not wanting to make Erwin uncomfortable. 

“Oh well they used to work in the same department before Levi switched.” He said, he looked over to the men and motioned for them to come over, they ambled over with curious expressions. 

“What’s up Erwin?” the dark haired man asked as he looked between the two of you. 

“Just thought I’d ought to introduce you to (Y/n) here, she’s an old friend of ours from high school.” Erwin explained, his hand still comfortingly placed on your mid back. You waved shyly and smiled at all of them, including the girl. 

“Pleasure to meet you.” The blonde with a ponytail said, outstretching his hand to shake yours. 

“I’m Eld, this is Gunther, Oluo, and that fine young lady over there is Petra.” He said, pointing at all of them respectively. 

“It’s so nice to meet you guys!” you said sweetly as you struck up a conversation with Oluo about what they thought about the department that they worked in. It didn’t go unnoticed that Petra remained nearly silent, her amber eyes wide and a bit fearful. When the interns arrived, the men were quick to go help them carry in the alcohol that they brought, leaving you and Petra alone in the kitchen. You cocked your head at her as you poured some pretzels into a large bowl. The warm glow of the setting sun cast a halo over her head and you couldn’t help but voice your admiration for her. 

“You’re really pretty.” you gushed as she blushed at your words and turned to look at you with wide eyes. 

“So are you...” She returned the compliment and you smiled, feeling more at ease now that the two of you were alone. 

“So how long have you known Hange?” You asked conversationally as you crumpled up the bag and tossed it into the trash. 

“Hm let’s see...about four years now?” She responded with a bit of a wistful tone. 

“Really? I’m surprised we haven’t met sooner!” you chuckled as the two of you opened a bottle of wine and poured it into two large glasses. The two of you strolled out into the bark yard, where Hange and Moblit were chucking large pallets of wood onto the fire pit. You and Petra sat down in two lawn chairs watching as Hange and Moblit bickered over if it was safe enough to light the fire with gasoline. 

“I am too, you seem....like a really nice girl.” Petra said a bit downcast as she looked deeply into her wine. 

“So do you! We should grab breakfast ooo or maybe even brunch sometime!” You said excitedly and Petra sat there in awe, wondering if there was even a mean bone in your body. Or if you had any clue that she had dated Levi. 

“Yeah...this is kind of random but...are you dating Levi?” She blurted out, her face turning to look at you with a flushed expression. You nodded nonchalantly and took another sip of your wine. 

“Yeah we just started dating about a year ago.” You said with a shrug, Petra inhaled, readying herself for the next words that would either make or break the future relationship between the two of you. 

“Did...you know we dated?” she said, cringing when the words left her mouth. She sounded crazy and she knew it, but she felt obligated to clear the air between you before it got bad. 

“Hm I think he mentioned it once or twice, and Hange told me about you when you first started dating.” You said looking up thoughtfully, your tone held no malice or any sign of ill will. 

“You’re not...” 

“Insecure? Nah, and don’t take that like I’m being cocky! I just mean that...” 

“No, no let’s just not do this. I’m sorry for bringing it up. God I’m such a bitch.” Petra went to stand and you followed her, catching her wrist. 

“It’s alright really, I don’t care about what happened between you and Levi. It’s frankly none of my business, I just...wanna be friends with you.” you smiled at her sheepishly as she looked at you with wide eyes. 

“Oh” She managed to say dumbly. 

“That is if you want to be friends.” You said, letting go of her hand and giving her some space. 

“Yeah...I think that I’d like that very much.” Petra said with a bright smile. 

__

In honor of Women’s History month, I couldn’t bare to write something that was a stereotypical jealous ex, so I did the next best thing and wrote this more geared towards the reader and Petra bringing each other up instead of tearing one another down. As someone who was apart of the fandom back in like 2014 I am way too familiar with writers turning Petra into a psycho bitch, and I don’t like that. SO I hope that this is good enough to fit the prompt! 

#levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi x you #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman #jealous petra ral #modern au #erwin smith #hange zoe #moblit #aot fanfiction #aot fandom #light angst #fluff #women supporting women #no petra slander allowed #womens history month

[yatsurinamikaze]

Kageyama Tobio can’t tell.

tw// bad writing, nudity, cursing, cringe

Old work. Sounded hilarious in my head but now that I re-read it, makes me cringe.

Clicking your heels on the concrete tiles below, you lift your left hand up pointing your index finger at the watch, mouthing a “Time’s up” to the sports correspondent. Taking his queue, the sports correspondent nods slightly, turning to the Schweiden Adlers player, “Alright then. All the best for your upcoming match against the mighty EJP Raijin.” The camera zooms in on his face as he turns towards it, “Well that was Kageyama Tobio, the trailblazing setter from Schweiden Adlers. Next up is the talented Kagami Taiga in an exclusive interview with Fuji TV after a small commercial break.”

And cut! – You hear the voice in the background as the crowd that are the people working in the studio rush to take selfies with Kageyama Tobio.

You roll yours eyes and clap your hands together, “Alright guys. On your positions. We go live in the next minute. Someone please escort Kageyama-san back to his dressing room.”

The broadcast continues.

You’re making your way back to your cabin when you bump into someone, dropping the files in your hand. You stumble and almost fall back when a set of strong calloused hands hold your shoulders tethering you to the ground stabilizing you.

“I’m so sorry!” You drop down to your knees picking your files quickly. The man also joins you in picking your stuff off the ground. “YN?” You look up at him, your eyes fluttering in recognition. Kageyama Tobio.

“Hello Kageyama-san.”

You both get up as he looks at you smilingly. “So, I guess this was why I couldn’t recollect the voice back at the interview room.” You smile sheepishly at him, shrugging your shoulders, “…Oh? I didn’t think you’d remember me.”

He gives you a wide smile, “Of course I do. We were good friends back then, how could I forget you?”

You give him a tight-lipped smile nodding slightly. The truth is, you two were classmates back in High School. You tutored him through the tedious subjects and well, he… he always failed to recognize how you hung up the stars for him. You started by dropping hints, at times you’d bring him a self-cooked YN-Special Bento, sometimes you’d gawk at the couple walking in front of you holding hands- thinking he’d notice, somedays you’d ask him what he thinks about the other girls in class.

But Kageyama Tobio can’t tell.

You had understood back then, Kageyama Tobio has and always will concern himself with one thing only. No wait. Scratch that. There’re two things he whole-heartedly concerns himself with -Volleyball and Milk. The rest he manages albeit half-assed.

Soon the hints became not-so-subtle: The YN-Special Bento’s rice became heart-shaped, just like the couple you used to gawk at- you tried holding his hand and at one point you even asked him if he was interested in any other girl.

But Kageyama Tobio can’t tell.

He’d simply shrug his shoulders, eat his rice and when you’d try to hold his hand, he’d let go of it the next second without giving it a second thought.

Needless to say, on your graduation, you gave him a tight hug and decided to put a stop to your madness. It took time for you to move on, but you managed, persuading your heart to let him go by focusing on your college. But as he stands in front of you right now, you feel like the same helpless little teenager madly in love with him and his blue eyes.

“‘ts a small world I guess.” You shrug holding your files tightly. He nods along with you, “Yes, yes. Of course. It’s so great to see you again.” He looks at his phone, “Ah, I have to go now. Got practice. I’ll see you around?”

You nod pursing your lips together. As he takes your leave, you turn around, “Tobio-kun.”

He whips himself around, “yn?”

You clear your voice, “I’ll be at the JVA fundraiser tomorrow evening.” You speak looking up at him expectantly. He listens to what you said, “Yea? Well… good. Have fun there.” He nods saying a small goodbye and takes your leave.

You stand there stunned, your eyes wide like white revolving plates, shattering almost immediately. You roll your eyes and shake your head, he still can’t tell. This was such a mistake. You mentally curse yourself for being so out there for him.

You see him the next day at the party but choose to ignore him for the sake of your sanity. You got together in countless circles of people but every time your eyes locked, you looked away engaging in conversation with someone else.

Soon, you make your way out of the venue, standing on the walkway you lift your arm to hail a cab. The next thing you know- a sleek black sedan with tainted windows zooms past you, splashing the puddle of rain water onto your whole dress.

You open your mouth in disbelief when the car abruptly halts and a worried Kageyama Tobio steps out hurling apologies continuously, “I’m sorry. Gosh. I didn’t- Im sorry.”

Your mind dings like an elevator door and decides to shut itself.

You smile, “Of course, it’s okay Tobio-kun. It happens.” You try squeezing some water out the hems of your dress.

“YN I’m really sorry. Let me make it up to you? I’ll drop you home, yeah?” he insists. You shrug his gesture with a wave of your hand, “Oh, it’s completely fine. I’ll take a cab, it’s anyway on the other side of the city.”

As if on cue, the water starts pouring wildly on the top of you. The thick rain almost bruising your skin. With a gentle hand to your back he nudges you ahead, “In the car, now.” The heat from the car’s heater finally seeps into your skin slowing down the constant shivering and shaking as the car starts making its way towards your destination.

“Hey YN?”

You turn your head to look at him, “Mhm?”

“Were you ignoring me today?”

You look ahead at the weeping windshield feeling like a child caught with her one hand down the cookie jar, “Uhm. No? I just, we… it was crowded, right?”

He nods his head slightly, eyes focused on the road. You take in his experience, his jawline almost always clenched slightly, his hair wet with a few droplets of water slowly gravitating downwards, his lips creased in concentration but most of all, his eyes. Always looking ahead and focused. You remember the reasons why you fell in love with him in the first place, with the strong will of fire he had burning inside him to be who he wanted to be. Even after your college, you’d look at his games and interviews and it would never fail to inspire you.

The car stops suddenly, and you look ahead, “What happened?”

He rolls down the window when a man clad in reflector jacket turns up at the window holding an umbrella, almost yelling with the loud noise the rain was creating, “A tree has fallen down, I’m afraid you’ll have to turn back.” Tobio nods and rolls up his window, “Well...is there any other way to your house?”

You squirm slightly in your seat under his gaze, “I’m new in the city, I’m sorry...I don’t know.” He rests his hand on your shoulder, “Hey, it’s alright. My house is nearby. We could go there, get you changed and when it stops raining I’ll drop you home.” You nod with him, your tongue-tied together under his touch. Why am I like this.

You step inside his room, “Tobio-kun, how do you start the hot-“ You stop mid-sentence as you watch him shirtless going through his closet- his back muscles flexing every time he would rummage around the clothes. He turns around holding a blue shirt, “Yes?”

You gulp looking at his front, Gosh he’s perfect. You instantly forget what you were going to ask and just gawk at him like an idiot. Your eyes flutter pulling you out of your reverie, “Uhm, the hot water..how do you..?”

He nodded and followed you shirtless into the bathroom. The thoughts of this recognition make the heat pool into your belly.

As you step out of the bathroom, with extra-loose and extra-long t-shirt hanging down your frame, you see him sitting down on the bed. Your eyes lock together again before you shy away from him. Damnit. Why is he still shirtless?

You look at the t-shirt you’re wearing, the extra-loose and extra-large one, and the one kept on his bed, which looks much smaller than that. Oh! That one was for me. I wore his shirt!

You smile sheepishly, “I guess I wore the wrong shirt.” He chuckles and shakes his head, “It’s fine I will take another one.”

The news broadcasts that a cyclone was making its way towards this coast which was why the hailstorm was going to get even worse and everyone was advised to stay inside their homes.

You sighed turning the TV off and looking at Tobio sitting on the couch going through his phone. You’d both be here for some time. You didn’t know whether to feel lucky or cursed?

You get lost in his appearance again and had to mentally shake yourself to get out the nasty thoughts you’re having about him.

You tap your foot gently on the carpet, biting your lip. Okay. Since we’re going to be here.

“I guess I’ll go to sleep Tobio-kun.” You smile at him. He nods glancing at you.

“ I.. don’t sleep with a top or panties on..” You mumble quietly hoping he wouldn’t listen but would listen. You bite your cheek waiting for a response, mentally cursing yourself for the desperation when he takes more than a second to respond.

He raises his eyebrow at you, “Oh? Well, that’s okay, I’ll sleep on the couch, so you can be comfortable.” And goes back to scrolling his phone.

Perfect. Just perfect.

You smile and go off to bed.

At 1:00 AM when you still couldn’t sleep, you called out to Tobio, as he stepped into the room, he saw you sitting naked under the blanket, “Yes?”

You bite your lip nervously, “Well, I couldn’t sleep. I was cold.” Tobio rolls his eyes and chuckles a little, “Well obviously, you’re naked!” He walks towards the closet, taking out his spare blanket and giving it to you. “Here.”

And then he walks back downstairs.

You roll your eyes and lie back down on the bed groaning loud.

KAGEYAMA TOBIO STILL CAN’T TELL.

#haikyuu crack #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu!! #hq x y/n #hq x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x you #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu smut #kageyama x reader #tobio #tobio imagine #tobio x reader #kageyama

[starryhyuck]

good girls (m) | slytherin!hyuck

pairing: slytherin!donghyuck x ravenclaw!reader

words: 4k+

summary: donghyuck thinks you’re the most perfect, little goody-two-shoes head girl who’s ever walked the halls of hogwarts. that is, until he finds out you’ve fucked na jaemin in the back of the library.

genre: fluff, smut

warnings: public sex, overstimulation, creampies, degradation, riding

yes this is inspired by ‘good girls’ from 5sos.. how did you know?

“Leave me alone, Donghyuck.”

The Slytherin boy insists on following you, weaving his way through the shelves of the library simply just to annoy you. You’re sure Donghyuck has made it his goal to get under your skin this year, just as he has done in years prior. Luckily, the both of you are reaching the end of your time at Hogwarts, so it shouldn’t be long before he completely disappears from your life.

“What’s wrong? I’m just asking you for Potions help.”

You glare at him as you reach for another book you need to study. Since your father was the Potions professor, Donghyuck always assumed you would be able to help him cheat on upcoming tests. His version of help was always laced with just tell me the answer.

“I’m not telling you anything,” you hiss lowly, scurrying away in an attempt to get him to leave. You’re unsuccessful, of course, as he trails behind you when you reach your desk.

“Will you at least come to the Quidditch game this weekend?” He smirks, placing his hands on the table and leaning over to grin sleazily at you. You roll your eyes, getting situated in your seat as you open your Charms textbook.

“I’m not interested in watching Quidditch.”

He narrows his eyes. “Don’t lie. I saw you in the stands last weekend with Renjun.”

“Fine. I’m not interested in watching you play Quidditch.”

He scoffs. “Whatever. Just let me know when goody-two-shoes wants to come out of the library and have some fun.”

Donghyuck leaves you, finding Yangyang and Jeno in the Great Hall. The boys are laughing at the Slytherin table even though neither of them are actually a Slytherin. The rest of the table isn’t bothered by their presence.

Jeno snickers at the sight of Donghyuck’s long face when he sits next to him.

“Struck out again?”

“I didn’t strike out,” Donghyuck clarifies, although nobody is buying it. “It’s a slow process.”

“So you struck out?” Yangyang chuckles.

Donghyuck just rolls his eyes. “I’ll get there.”

Jeno glances back down at his Herbology textbook. “You should talk to Jaemin. I think they’re good friends.”

It’s hard to fathom that you would be friends with anybody, considering you spend most of your time in the library or helping your dad out in his office. Donghyuck’s tried really hard to get a sliver of your attention since First Year. He didn’t know exactly what it was that attracted him to you, but he supposes that you rejecting him kept spurring on his advances. You were also super fucking hot, and he almost passed out in Fourth Year when you showed up to the Yule Ball wearing a dress that still lingers in his dreams.

“How would Jaemin even-“

“Don’t ask me,” Jeno brushes off. “I’m studying.”

Donghyuck huffs before pulling out his own textbook. He supposes he should study too since you’re clearly not going to help him. He tends to zone out during most of his classes, mainly thinking about how sinful you look in your little skirt, how he could just rip your robes right off and-

Yangyang hits him upside the head. Donghyuck groans.

“Stop daydreaming and focus.”

The Slytherin boy grumbles but listens anyways, trying his best to focus on the History of Magic instead of imagining you bent over one of the desks in Potions class.

—

“If you’re not going because Donghyuck asked you to, then that’s just stupid. I don’t even understand why you’re in Ravenclaw.”

You glare at Renjun. He’s all dressed up in Ravenclaw gear, covered head to toe in a mountain of blue. You rarely attend Quidditch games unless Renjun drags your ass out there to watch.

“I don’t want to go today. Can’t you find someone else to come with you?”

“Nope. Only you,” he smiles. You’re not amused in the slightest bit. “Oh, I see. Is it because you don’t want to see Na Jaemin?”

“Jaemin and I are history, Renjun. Don’t need to dwell in the past.”

“You fucked him literally a month ago.”

You grab the nearest article of clothing near you and fling it at Renjun. Jisu grunts at the both of you.

“Holy fuck, I’m trying to study! Just go to the game and get the fuck out of our room!”

You grumble but listen to your roommate as she seems to grow more irate the longer Renjun stands in the doorway. He smiles in victory when you walk beside him to the Quidditch field. You ignore his glee while he babbles on about today’s game, wondering who’s going to reach victory.

You both find seats in the stands, and you feel embarrassed being here. After all, it was only a month ago when Jaemin fucked you in the Quidditch locker rooms. You managed to not get caught, but you wouldn’t hold it against Jaemin to tell the entire team what happened.

Jaemin wasn’t your boyfriend by any means. You two simply started to get closer this year and to release most of your frustration, you found yourself underneath him every once in a while. You ended it last month after Seojeong started to show an interest in dating him, and you didn’t want to interfere with the Hufflepuff’s advances. You haven’t spoken to Jaemin since then, only catching him eyeing you during Potions ever so often.

But now you see him as he mounts his broom, holding steady in the air as Slytherin’s Seeker. Your eyes are too focused on him to realize Donghyuck has been waving frantically for the last minute to try and get your attention.

Renjun elbows your side and you groan.

“What the fuck?”

He points to where Donghyuck is, just a few feet away from Jaemin in the air. You sigh and refuse to wave back at him, but Donghyuck still keeps his bright smile.

“Wouldn’t he be better as a commentator than a player?” You ask Renjun, knowing how fast Donghyuck can run his mouth.

“You’ll be surprised. Donghyuck’s really good. If I were on the team though, I think I would like to be Seeker,” Renjun muses.

You scoff. “Seeker? You can’t see for shit!”

You think Renjun’s about to murder you then and there, but the whistle is blown and the game sets in motion. He diverts his attention, cheering loudly for Ravenclaw.

As the game draws on, you see what Renjun means. Donghyuck is impeccably fast on his broom, whizzing by your Ravenclaw team to throw the Quaffle into one of the hoops. Your eyes widen and you lean over to Renjun.

“He’s pretty good.”

“I told you.”

You become mesmerized in the way Donghyuck zooms across the field, dodging any incoming bludgers and getting score after score for Slytherin. You would usually be focused on how Jaemin holds steady on his broom, trying to capture the Snitch.

You can’t take your eyes off Donghyuck’s figure, sweat dripping from his forehead as he eagerly throws the Quaffle into another hoop. Chenle, the commentator, praises him once again. You don’t even mind that your team is losing — Donghyuck seems determined to make them eat dirt.

You won’t lie either, he looks incredibly attractive like this.

“Fuck!” Renjun shouts in your ear. “Jaemin found the Snitch!”

It’s only mere seconds before Chenle declares victory for Slytherin, and the sea of green leaps up to cheer. Renjun grumbles, hanging his head in his hands as you laugh. The rest of Ravenclaw is just as dejected as him, filing out of the stands and mumbling about how no one can stop Donghyuck once he’s on the field.

“Come on, champ,” you encourage him, trying to pull the small boy up from his seat. Renjun sighs as he follows you and since you two are one of the last ones to leave the stands, you catch the Slytherin team leaving the locker rooms and bouncing with joy to go to their after party.

Donghyuck’s eyes light up when he sees you and you quickly try to detour, tugging Renjun along with you. Donghyuck calls out your name and you sigh, turning back around to face him. He looks like a dream if you’re being honest, fresh out of the showers and beaming at his victory.

“You came!”

You cough awkwardly. “Renjun dragged me here.”

“Impressive what you did out on the field,” Renjun nods in acknowledgment. You can only imagine how hard it was for him to choke out a compliment, considering Renjun hates when Ravenclaw loses.

Donghyuck nods back. He turns his attention to you. “Coming to the after party?”

“We’re not in Slytherin,” you mention, pointing to the blue colors both you and Renjun are wearing. “Plus, you just killed our Quidditch team’s reputation.”

He smirks. “True, but I’m sure no one cares if you’re from a different house as long as you celebrate. At least, I don’t care if you’re a Ravenclaw.”

Renjun clears his throat at Donghyuck’s attempt at flirting. He nudges your side when Jaemin leaves the locker rooms, his hair a newly dyed blonde as he combs his fingers through it.

You quickly grab Renjun’s wrist. “Um, we’ll decline. See you later!”

You both scurry away before Jaemin has a chance to see you, leaving Donghyuck flustered at your rejection. Jaemin comes up to swing his arm around Donghyuck’s shoulder.

“Why are you still here? I thought you would be off to the party by now.”

Donghyuck sighs. “Tried my luck with Y/N but she just hates me.”

Jaemin freezes at the sound of your name. He coughs a little. “Are you talking about the Ravenclaw?”

Donghyuck nods and the two begin walking back to their common room. “Yeah, I’ve been trying to get her to open up to me but I guess she’s really not interested.”

“Um, do you know that we used to be a thing?”

Donghyuck fully stops in his tracks. “What?”

Jaemin looks extremely flustered now in front of his friend. “She kind of ended it a month ago. But we used to, um, be together all the time.”

“Be together how?” Donghyuck narrows his eyes.

“I don’t need to spell it out for you, Donghyuck.”

He folds his arms across his chest. “I think you do. As far as I know, Y/N barely has any friends as is so I find is unbelievable that she would open herself up to you.”

Jaemin flushes at the implication, recalling exactly how many times you’ve ‘opened up to him.’ He hasn’t caught any feelings for you and he knows it goes the same way around, but your friendship from before is completely broken. You two can barely be in the same room together without feeling the tension.

“You don’t know her very well then,” Jaemin remarks, wanting to end the conversation as quickly as possible. He honestly didn’t know Donghyuck expressed an interest in you until now. “Let’s forget about what I said and have a good after party, okay?”

Jaemin tugs Donghyuck along but Donghyuck can’t stop thinking about you.

Specifically, you underneath the blonde boy, moaning and thrashing in his hold while Jaemin relentlessly pounds into your tight hole.

Fuck.

—

“Sorry, we’re saving this seat for- What the fuck?!”

Jeno and Yangyang are both floored by their friend’s new appearance, wide eyed as Donghyuck takes his seat next to them in the Great Hall. The Slytherin boy says nothing, diving into his breakfast without a word.

Jeno leans closer to him and whispers. “Who are you?”

Donghyuck glares at him. When he found out about you and Jaemin on Saturday, he had a little bit of a meltdown. His roommate, Shotaro, watched in confusion as Donghyuck paced back and forth for hours. Shotaro was even more befuddled when Donghyuck made the impulse decision to buy blonde hair dye, matching the same shade as Jaemin’s.

He didn’t expect to look so different, but with the way Jeno and Yangyang were staring at him, it was as if he became another person.

“I wanted to do something new,” Donghyuck shrugs, offering his explanation. The two of them are silent after that, both exchanging glances with one another.

Yangyang clears his throat after a few minutes. “Did you lose a dare?”

“No,” Donghyuck hisses. “What? Don’t I look good?”

Both of them avert their gaze and Donghyuck narrows his eyes. His stare wanders over to the Ravenclaw table, where you’re currently eating with Renjun and Jisu. His heart thumps in his chest while he watches you giggle at something your roommate said, leaning on her side for support. His trance is broken by the person he wants to see the least.

“Woah. What happened to you?”

Jaemin takes his seat next to Yangyang, eyebrows raised at Donghyuck’s new look.

“Nothing.”

His curt response makes Jaemin even more amused, and Jeno chuckles.

“Maybe Y/N likes blonde guys. Remember, Jaem? When you two were in the library and you said-“

Jaemin throws his fork at Jeno and hits him square in the forehead, causing the Hufflepuff to immediately glare and lunge for the Slytherin across the table. Yangyang tries his best to break the two up while Donghyuck’s mind drifts to Jeno’s statement.

The library? The place where you’re holed up all day, studying to get the best grades in every single subject? Did you let Jaemin take you against one of the bookshelves? Did you sit on his cock while you both pretended to read at the table.

Fuck. You were far from the good girl he always pictured you as.

Donghyuck stands wordlessly, ignoring Jeno and Jaemin’s squabble as he walks out of the Great Hall. He finds himself sitting at your table in the library, patiently waiting for your arrival. He doesn’t give a fuck about attending classes today, he needs to know the answers to his questions.

And so he waits. Surprisingly, he actually manages to get some studying done. Maybe the library wasn’t so bad.

He finally sees you during lunch period, watching as you walk in and smile softly at those who pass you. Your figure immediately retreats to the Potions section, and Donghyuck is quick to follow after you. He spots you standing on your tiptoes trying to grab one of the textbooks on the top shelf.

He approaches you with light footsteps, and you jump five feet in the air when you hear his voice.

“Did you do it here?”

“W-What?”

Donghyuck’s eyes are glazed over, dark as they scrutinize you. You feel small underneath his heavy gaze, and you try to ignore the beam of pleasure that shoots straight to your core. You almost didn’t recognize him with his newly dyed hair, and you won’t deny that he looks fucking hot.

He takes a step closer to you, trapping your body between him and the bookshelf. You shudder when he runs his finger down your arm.

“Did you lift your skirt up for Jaemin here? Let him take you in public?”

You gulp, avoiding his eyes. “H-How do you know about that?”

He growls, and the sound causes a gush of wetness to seep out of your core. “So it’s true? Little Ravenclaw princess is nothing but a common whore? Pretends to be all studious but ends up getting railed for everyone to see?”

You whimper. “It’s not like that- I-“

Your voice catches in your throat when his hand drifts up the expanse of your thighs, fingers dangerously close to your dripping cunt. You quickly survey the area, afraid someone will see the both of you. Most students are eating lunch in the Great Hall but there are still a select few who have chosen their studies over meals. When you did this with Jaemin, it was well past curfew and the library was completely empty.

Despite the fact that you could get caught at any time, it only makes you want him more.

“Touch me, please,” you beg, gripping his forearm.

His eyebrows shoot up at your immediate compliance. “You really are just a little slut, aren’t you? So fucking needy. Before this, you wouldn’t even give me the time of day. You’re just that desperate, aren’t you? Want your small pussy to be filled?”

You quickly nod, way past the point of preserving your dignity.

He flips you over, pressing your cheek against the wood. You whine when his fingers run over your clothed slit.

“So wet, baby,” he whispers, trying his best to conceal your garbled moans with his hand. “Is this for me? Or for Jaemin?”

“For you,” you choke out. “For you, Hyuck.”

He groans at the nickname, moving your panties aside and pushing a finger into you. Your mouth opens in a silent cry as your fingers dig into the shelves. Donghyuck’s breath is hot and heavy in your ear, and he can’t believe you’re letting him take you like this. He wonders what would happen if word got around to your father, who would fail Donghyuck in Potions for sure.

He doesn’t really care at this point, especially when your warm walls are clenching around his finger.

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs, pushing another digit inside. “Want to see you fall apart, baby.”

His other hand comes up to tug at your hair so he can see your expression. You already look completely fucked out and he’s barely done anything to you. He knows he doesn’t have a lot of time before the next period starts, so he quickly moves to unbuckle his belt. His fingers slip out of you and you cry at the loss.

You get more excited at the sound and he chuckles. “Dreamed about this for years,” he whispers. “This pussy is mine now, baby. Won’t let anyone else have it.”

You feel his tip prodding at your entrance, and he waits for your go-to. You decide to slip it in yourself, reaching to grasp his base and push back on his cock. He’s thicker than you thought, and the stretch fills you whole.

Once Donghyuck realizes how desperate you really are, his hands fly to your hips, bottoming out inside you. You both groan lowly, his length pressing against your sweet spot.

He’s about to start thrusting until he hears voices approaching. You both start to panic, and Donghyuck quickly directs you to grab a book from the top shelf while he rearranges his robes. To anyone else, it looks like Donghyuck is helping you grab a book, maybe just a little closer than normal.

Three Hufflepuff students pass by, heading to the History of Magic section of the library. They pay no attention to you two, and Donghyuck sighs in relief. You, however, are still wanting a nice fuck.

You whine and clench around his cock.

“Fuck, baby,” he hisses. “We almost got caught but you don’t care, do you?”

You shake your head and he chuckles lowly. He resumes fucking you, trying his best to keep his grunts to a minimum. It’s difficult, especially when the sound of his balls slapping against your ass increases in volume.

His hands move around your middle, pulling you closer to his chest. “Please,” you beg.

“Baby wants to cum?” You frantically nod and he laughs breathily. His fingers grip your breast over your tight button up shirt, tilting your head so he can kiss you. His tongue slips into your mouth and you whine, driving closer and closer to the edge.

You fall before you know it, Donghyuck trying to keep you quiet as you orgasm around him. The feeling of you creaming around his cock brings him waves of pleasure, and he tries to pull out of you until you stop him.

“Inside,” you plead.

He short circuits at your request, mind going blank. He cums without warning, shooting ribbons of his cum deep inside your waiting womb. You moan at the feeling of him filling you up.

When you both come to, he kisses your neck.

“You’re such a dream,” he mumbles. “Can you stop ignoring me now?”

You laugh. He helps you look presentable, pulling your panties back on even though his cum leaks out of your hole. He rearranges your skirt and tucks himself back into his pants.

You turn around and kiss him.

“You’re really hot when you play Quidditch.”

He smirks. “I knew it.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes. Then, your voice grows small. “Can we do this again tonight?”

He grins. He wraps an arm around your waist and presses his lips to yours again.

“Are you mine? Not Jaemin’s?”

You scoff. “I just let you cum inside me. I never let Jaemin do that.”

His eyes sparkle. “Good girl.”

(bonus scene because i’m horny)

“Where are you going?”

Jisu raises an eyebrow at you as you grab one of the candles from your nightstand, ready to meet Donghyuck. You shrug and smile at her.

“Getting some good dick.”

She giggles and winks at you. “Sounds fun. Be safe!”

You slip out of your room quietly, trying your best to be as silent as possible. You’ve snuck out many times before after curfew, being able to tell your Ravenclaw prefects that you desperately needed to cram some extra studying in. They all thought you wouldn’t receive any major discipline anyways since your father was the Potions professor.

You sneak into the Slytherin common room, using the password Donghyuck gave you earlier. The Slytherin prefects were both asleep on the ground, as expected.

Donghyuck waited for you on the sleek emerald couch, smiling as he spotted you. He patted his thighs so you could take your seat, and you giggled, placing the candle on the table and sitting in his lap.

“Missed me?” He murmured, wrapping his arms around you and pressing kisses to the side of your neck.

“Saw you like two hours ago.”

He frowns. “And you haven’t missed me since then?”

You roll your eyes and whine. “Hurry. Want your cock.”

“Will you let me take you to Hogsmeade this weekend?”

“If you win the next Quidditch game.”

He smirks. “Deal.”

You quickly move to unbuckle his belt, sinking to your knees as he watches you carefully. You moan when his cock springs up, tip bright and red. He’s heavy in your hand when you take him, licking a stripe up from his base to the tip. He groans when you bring his head into your mouth, sucking gently.

Holy fuck. You deepthroat him in no time, sinking down on his cock until you choke. He watches with hazy eyes as you struggle to suck him, his length filling your windpipe.

“Too big for you, baby? Can’t handle my big cock?”

You shake your head in defiance. You start bobbing your head up and down, determined to give him the best blowjob of his life. Donghyuck’s eyes dart up when he hears the sound of a door creaking, locking eyes with Jaemin. You haven’t heard anything — too preoccupied with sucking his dick.

Jaemin’s eyes widen when he spots you two before he smiles, throwing Donghyuck a wink and a thumbs up. He retreats back to his room and Donghyuck can’t take the wait any longer.

“Hands and knees.”

You pull away from him, spit dribbling down the side of your mouth. You follow his orders, pulling down your pajama pants and bending over the side of the couch. He delivered a harsh slap to your cheek, and you whimper.

“Pretty girl,” he praises as he lines himself up to your entrance. “Little cock hungry cumslut. What would people say if they saw you? Good Ravenclaw desperate for cum?”

“Want them to see me,” you blubber. “Want them to see how well I take your cock.”

He grunts. “Fuck. Dirty little minx.”

He practically rips your panties in half, fingers digging into your flesh as he takes the first thrust. Is it even possible that his cock grew bigger? He’s hitting your sweet spot with no problem from this angle, sending sparks flying in your tummy. You swear you can feel him in your throat if it was possible.

“Take my cock, baby,” he hisses. “Fuck. See what I do for you? Been chasing after you for years thinking you were a little innocent schoolgirl but turns out I just needed to give you my cock and then you would be all mine. Even dyed my hair to this stupid fucking color for you.”

“I-I like y-your hair,” you cry.

“Yeah? Because it looks just like Jaemin’s, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t give a fuck about Jaemin. Only want you.”

He’s satisfied by your answer and moves his hand down to pinch your clit. The sensation sends you flying into your first orgasm and you sob as you cum around his cock.

He slips out of you, sitting down on the couch and patting his thighs again. “Come on. Show me how much you want it.”

Shakily, you rise and straddle Donghyuck’s hips, slowly sinking down on him. His girth stretches you even more as you ride him, twisting and turning your hips until you feel the burn. You don’t care if you look like a needy slut at this point — he’s made you this way.

You never fucked Jaemin with this much fervor, usually letting him lazily thrust into you before you both reach your climax. He also never stared at you the way Donghyuck is looking at you now, eyes dark as he watches you fall apart on his cock.

“Gonna cum again, baby?”

“Y-Yes,” you answer back, closing your eyes as you feel pleasure overtake your body. You can barely think straight as he fucks you so good.

You orgasm again before you fully realize it, wetness dripping down your thighs and onto his cock.

“Such a pretty cunt,” he groans. “Where do you want my cum?”

“Inside, inside,” you respond, observing as he chases his own high. He stills inside of you, cumming deep inside your tummy.

You kiss him, slipping your tongue into his mouth while you feel his cum drip out of you.

“I better win that Quidditch game.”

You giggle. “You better.”

“What’s gonna happen if you get pregnant?”

You shrug. “I’m taking those muggle pills Jisu gave me so I think we’re fine. It’s not like it’s going to stop you from cumming inside me anyway.”

“True. Second round in the Astronomy Tower?”

“I can barely walk.”

“I’ll carry you.”

#nct smut #haechan smut #hyuck #nct scenarios

[johnemulaney]

John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith. 

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll. 

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically. 

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times. 

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers. 

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs. 

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties). 

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is. 

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry. 

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny. 

 Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers. 

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days. 

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now. 

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep. 

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some. 

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up. 

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety. 

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer. 

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long. 

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group. 

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no. 

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while. 

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions. 

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been. 

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention. 

And that was the show.

#John Mulaney #john mulaney: from scratch #spoilers #kid gorgeous #The Comeback Kid #The Top Part #New In Town #show write up