#men’s business-casual section but not wanting to say anything

[designernishiki]

nishiki’s the type to roast the shit out of majima in the 90s for choosing to wear such tight pants and would laugh wildly when majima retorts saying “just wait. everyone’ll be wearing shit like this soon, i’m just ahead of the curve”. and then when the 2000s come around and skinny jeans are the new norm he sits in his office in the dark, head down on his desk, and cries. because he’s proven to be a failure even at the things he’s most passionate about– and worse, he got bested by goro majima

#goro ‘snakeskin supremacist’ majima #poor guy #nishiki #majima #yakuza #akira nishikiyama #goro majima #these two have such good potential when it comes to interactions they’re fun to think about #rambling #this has the energy of ‘hey you’ve got a mushroom on your shirt’ ‘oh… i’m a failure’ #nishiki circa 2009 having to collect up every ounce of courage possible to go to the store and buy slim-fit pants #some poor retail employee at checkout absolutely noticing how this guy seems like he’s about to have a breakdown in the #men’s business-casual section but not wanting to say anything #it’s just sad to watch #he doesn’t even dislike slimmer pants or anything he just keeps hearing majima in his head cackling and the voice of his father #calling him a disappointment

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Princess

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Smut (18+), spanking, fingering, PinV, choking, brat taming, slight bit of name calling (slightly dubious to have sex with someone after rescuing them from a kidnapping but we'll ignore that)

Summary: Reader is the daughter of a prolific genral who's been kidnapped while she was trying to party it up with her friends. Ghost and Soap are recruited to rescue her, and soon find out that reader's attitude might be more of a challenge than the gang they're trying to rescue her from.

(No use of y/n)

A/N: I can't get Ghost out of my head and tbh I kinda feel like he'd be so good at dealing with your bratty nonsense if he had to.

- 👑-

You were sure you were going to die. 

Not because your family didn’t have the money, not because there weren’t enough resources  to save you, or even because of your own natural pessimistic tendencies. No. You were sure you were going to die because your father had made it abundantly clear long ago that you didn’t matter to him. 

You weren’t a man. You couldn't carry his title on and you’d grown up learning that that was mostly all he cared for. His legacy. It was one of the few things that cold man spoke of fondly, always lighting up at the mention of your brothers but never you. And as a result you’d grown up living for even the smallest chance at spiting him for it. You partied and drank and slept around with boys that made even your friends curl their lips at you sometimes. 

So, you were pretty sure that once your kidnappers realised that, that could only mean one thing. One of those big guns they were carrying was going to end up pointed right in your face then…bang. 

It was enough to leave you disoriented, you weren't taking in much. Not that there was much to take note of. Your eyes were shoddily covered over with a scrap of harsh, scratchy cloth and you could only see little slivers of things here and there. Your hands were duct taped to the arms of an office chair and your mouth was similarly covered so as to prevent anymore screams and curses.

You watched sets of boots as they echoed around the frigid room, and saw gun barrels and machetes, men roving across a scuffed up concrete floor. You didn’t catch anything that made you want to see more. Especially when you heard the taunts they slung at you in their thick accents.

“Don’t worry precious, I’m sure a spoiled little rich girl like you will get a good ransom, you’ll be home soon.”

“Bet you’re used to guys with big guns like this, daddy’s men must love you.”

“She’s a cute little thing, we should have some fun with her before we send her back.”

“I’ve heard she likes to have lots of fun, bet we’d slip right into her, fucking american girls.”

If the blindfold came off then that would only mean one thing. They were going to make good on the salacious threats they were now casually slinging your way. The fantasies they were now trading back and forth as they returned to speaking their own language. That was a small mercy at least. Not having to hear about how the last few moments of your life would go. 

You could feel your body shaking like an addict in withdrawal and your poor heart was leaping around in your chest like a caught frog. It didn’t help that you were riling yourself up either, imagining what the newspapers would say. Flashing up in your mind like something out of an old batman episode with a blaring brass section accompanying them.

 Daughter of a notable general killed in shock kidnapping

Holiday in Cancun turned nightmare as General’s daughter taken in the night

You couldn't even be sure if you were still in Mexico. For all you knew you were in all those other countries that you’d been too busy crafting a reputation to learn about in school. What were they again? Guatemala, Cuba? You were sure those were somewhere close by. Funny the things the mind distracts itself with when you’re stuck tightly in a chair surrounded by leering wolves. 

If only you hadn’t been drawn in by that tattooed man with the big arms. If only you’d been a good girl and enjoyed your holiday and stuck close to your friends instead of going out on the hunt for attention from bad men covered in tattoos and cologne that smelt like bad decisions. You could practically hear your father’s growly voice echoing through your mind. 

Stupid little girl. 

He’d been saying that for as long as you had memories of him. He’d be satisfied now, you lamented. You’d proved him right in the end, he’d always said your lifestyle would catch up with you and you’d be wishing that you’d just behaved for once sooner or later.  

At the very least, you figured, you wouldn’t have to hear him say I told you so. 

- 👑-

You weren't sure how much time had passed. It could’ve been a few minutes, or it could’ve been hours, but as your breathing grew more ragged behind the tape you knew you were experiencing the last few precious moments you had left. 

The men were sounding more and more pissed off as they rattled off curses to each other, filling the room with sharp hisses. They weren’t getting the results they wanted. They’d even removed the tape at some point and had you screaming out for a video, but apparently that wasn’t getting them anywhere either. They got tired with your cries and slapped an even thicker strip back in place.

You were starting to cry, feeling the stiff cloth go damp against your skin and irritating it further. It was so thick and itchy over your eyes, you wanted nothing more than to pull it off. You needed to see, needed to breathe. You were panicking. You needed out, you needed air, you needed to feel safe again. 

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck?

You were chanting it in your mind, it rang through your head like a death toll. It seemed like those would be your last thoughts. You’d die panicking and snotty and covered in dried salty tears that mixed into a sludge with your thick mascara.

What the fuck? What the fuck? What the-

Thiew.

Crack.

Thud.

Every muscle in your body froze as you heard an alien sound zip through the room. Then suddenly everything erupted.

The men’s shouts turned into screams and barked orders and suddenly you were being wheeled around in your chair in the dark like a shopping cart. You were whizzed past men that were running and crouching into your limited vision, aiming their guns and returning fire as more bullets wailed into the room. And finally you found yourself slamming into a corner somewhere, banging your knees against a rough drywall. 

You screamed behind your gag and listened out as more men hit the ground and the guns grew into a cacophony of bangs. Death’s orchestra played for a solid few minutes, ringing in your ears and distorting the sound of your thrumming heartbeat as it crawled up through your throat and into your head.

You were sure you were going to die. 

The battle raged on for a few moments more until suddenly the men’s shouts silenced and the bullets grew sparse. All you could hear was the echoes of gunfire and shrill ringing from your unprotected ears. 

What was that?

You swore you could hear voices coming toward you.

“It’s alright, lass.”

You jumped as you felt someone touch your shoulder and cursed behind the tape in your mouth as the unidentified man tried to soothe you. It wasn’t until he pulled your blindfold down and you were greeted with his bruised face and ruffled mohawk that you calmed down, focusing your gaze on his icy pale eyes. He wasn’t one of the men who took you.

“I’m gonna take this tape off, ye good wi’ that?”

You frowned at the man, unsure if he was speaking english. You weren’t used to that accent, what was that accent? Scottish? Irish? 

You only had a few seconds to look up at him blankly before he gave up on getting a response and ripped the tape from your mouth, drawing out a scream with it.

“You motherfucker!” you shrieked, feeling a layer of skin peel from your face.

“Easy! It’s ok! What's the sayin’ agian? Best to rip it off like a band-aid, yeah?” he chuckled.

“Not when it’s fucking duct tape over my face, you- you stupid- oh, oh no, my god, oh my god look out!”

You screamed as you caught a giant man emerging through the shadows and through the doorway into the dingy room you’d been wheeled into. A skull mask obscured his face and a massive gun was braced in his hands, he looked as if he could take on an entire army by himself. He was fuck off sized and ready to kill. 

Your rescuer whipped around and raised his gun at your shout, body bracing and ready to defend you. Though, as he faced the hulking behemoth behind him he relaxed and lowered his gun again, cursing you through gritted teeth. Though, he turned back around to you with a smirk.

“He might be a scary lookin’ bastard, but that ones on our side,” he explained, slinging his gun behind him and getting to work on the tape on your wrists. “Sit tight and I’ll get you out of this in a sec, ok?”

“Is she hurt?” the masked man asked, flicking his dark gaze over your slumped body.

“Nah, doesn’t look like it,” the first man replied.

“She is scarred for life actually,” you huffed out, clutching your one freed arm to your chest. “What the fuck happened? Who the fuck are you two?”

“Settle down, princess. For now we need to get you out of here and back to your father, quickly and quietly, yeah?”

His accent was different from the other man’s, though to you it was just as difficult to make out through that thick gravely timbre. That one was definitely english, you thought, it sounded like ones from TV shows you’d watched when you were younger. It made you wonder what the hell the two brits were doing rescuing you when your dad was an American general. 

Did he find them on Craigslist or something?

Typical of him to find a couple of brutish thugs to come fetch you rather than calling on one of the teams that he worked with, you thought sourly. 

Though, as both your arms were free and you stepped onto wobbly feet you grew to appreciate his choice in rescuers more as they both towered above you. Even if they weren’t American they clearly knew their way around a fight.

“We’re gonna need you to follow us and do exactly as we say, ok? There’s still a few men lurkin’ about and if you want to get back to your family in one piece, we’ll need to avoid them,” the first man said, putting his hand on your tensed shoulder.

“You haven’t even gotten them all?” you hissed, escaping from his hold and backing against the cracking wall behind you.

The room was unfinished, crumbling from bullet holes and exposure to bad weather from the open windows. It looked like something straight out of a movie set, Soderbergh eat your heart out.

“We’ve gotten most of them,” the Scottish/Irish man shrugged, reaching around to secure his gun in his arms once again. “Some probably ran off durin’ the fight, but we can’t assume they aren’t hiding somewhere waitin’ for us.”

“Just be a good girl and do as you’re told, ok princess?” the other man growled, turning away from you and walking back out of the room. 

Your mouth dropped open and just as you were about to fire off another retort, it died in your mouth when you heard a shot ring out from the hallway. 

“All good, LT?” the first man called out, ushering you behind him. 

“Solid, Soap,” the other man replied.

Soap?

That’s just great, you thought, you were stuck with a man named soap and his big ape of a friend wearing a spirit halloween special across his face. You could practically feel your chances of survival drop through the ground and into hell. You could feel the hot flames licking at your feet already, biting at your toes. Or perhaps that was the fact you’d been stuck in heels for an inappropriate length of time. Who knew?

“Alright, lets get movin’. Remember to stay close and stay quiet. We don’t know where these guys are hiding,” Soap reminded you. “Stick to my back and we won't let anythin’ happen to you, alright?”

You were out of sass for the time being. You could only nod your reply as you followed his orders, too afraid of him leaving you behind as he started advancing out of the room.

You might have felt annoyed at the fact they were treating you like a stupid little girl, but you were too wrapped up in the adrenaline of the situation to object anymore. You’d heard the gunfire, could still hear the echoes of it pelting through your ears. You knew you couldn't afford not to listen to the two incredibly patronising soldiers before you. 

“Try to keep your eyes up, lass,” Soap whispered, gazing back at you briefly before heading through the doorway. 

“Why do I have t- oh fuck!”

You could’ve thrown up as your eyes connected with the bloody corpses that littered the hallway like flies on a roll of catcher paper. There were so many of them. You could feel the bile fighting its way up your gullet as you stopped against the wall and closed your hazy eyes. Bodies. Actual dead bodies. 

You’d never seen one before. Yet here you were surrounded by them, queen bee of a dead hive. It was too much. Staying up felt like fighting gravity and you were reduced to a pile on the floor in no time, huddled on a relatively blood free patch and stuck still against the rough chalky grey wall to your side.

“Ghost, we’ve got a problem,” Soap muttered, staring down at you with a worried look. 

There were a few seconds of blessed silence where you closed your eyes and everything was ok for a second. You weren’t in a shithole crack den building in god knows where and instead you were back at the hotel, getting ready to go to bed with your girlfriends. Yes. You were going to put on pyjamas and take some painkillers and peace the fuck out till noon the day after.

“Fuckin hell.”

The growl brought you out of your daydream and soon you were looking up at the cold crocodilian eyes of the now named Ghost. Had he expected you to do better in the hallway of a thousand corpses? 

“Alright, princess, up you get.”

You whimpered and expected him to offer you his hand to get you to your feet again, but you were taken by surprise when he leaned over you and enveloped you in his huge arms. You weren’t sure what the hell he was doing at first, but all became clear as you were hoisted over his shoulder and sprawling down his back like a chef’s tea towel. 

“What the hell, dude! Put me down,” you growled out, thumping your fists against his thick layer of tactical gear. 

“Quiet down, sweetheart. It’s not like you’re much use in those heels anyway,” he growled out, tugging on one of your silvery strappy shoes for emphasis. 

“You can’t just pick me up like a sack of fucking potatoes!” you protested, continuing to feebly fail to fight your way out of his grasp.

“Apparently I fuckin’ can,” he chuckled, rumbling in that horrible patronising voice of his. “Now…Settle. Down.”

And with that he started moving again, taking you past the tour of bodies that you’d folded at moments before, stepping through them like you might do through a botanical garden. The men were poked full of bullet holes and some even had knives jutting out of their skulls, but it didn’t seem to phase your rescuers. They were in their element. You were decidedly not. 

You felt like you were going to be sick and wondered briefly what the terrifying man would say if you were to throw up on him. Would he drop you as revenge? You quivered in his arms as he moved through the halls, following his partner faithfully in the shadows, only seeing by the light of the moon in some sections of the house. 

Not soon enough, after being thoroughly traumatised for two lifetimes, you emerged out of the house you were in. Only hearing two more men be taken out before you were free to breathe fresh air again. You cleared out the disgusting smell of coppery blood and gulped in huge breathfuls of clear night air.

Air. Moonlight. Stars. You were in a barren front garden in the middle of nowhere. You could see out for miles toward that inky black sky on the horizon. 

It wasn’t like something out of a nightmare anymore, this was real. And it was a new kind of scary. It was night and it was cold and your shivering renewed again as the giant placed you back down on your feet and let you stand on your own. 

Why was it so fucking cold? 

“You see anyone else?” Ghost asked his partner, sticking faithfully by your side.

“Negative. Think we’re good to move out, LT,” Soap said, giving his surroundings one last careful scan.

“Thank fuckin’ god. Might even get back to the safehouse before mornin’ at this rate.”

Safehouse?

What?

“Um, what do you mean safehouse?” you prodded, feeling the cold start sinking into your clattering teeth.

“It’s a house that’s safe,” ghost ‘helpfully’ provided. 

“I fucking know that,” you said through gritted teeth, “what I mean is, why the fuck are we going to a safehouse? I need to go home. I need to get to an airport or something or like- like you should be calling me a helicopter or something! Why would we go to some safehouse and stay here any longer?”

“Your dad ordered us to take you there once we had you secured,” Soap said, staring over at you with a calculating gaze. “Now are you going to come get in the car yourself or does Ghost need to pick you up again?”

Fuck you.

You didn’t give either of them the satisfaction of answering. 

- 👑-

“He’s doing this to punish me isn’t he? It’s fucking typical you know! Only he would pull this shit, only my dad would find out I got kidnapped and send in two fucking random Englishmen and not even want to get me home-“

“Whoa! Watch it!” Soap shouted, interrupting you mid rant. “You can call me a lot of things, but don’t fuckin’ call me English, sweetheart.”

“English, Scottish, Irish- whatever the fuck you are! Point is he should be here! He shouldn’t be letting me stew in some random safe house with you two…two- two strangers,” you whined, throwing your arms up in the air. “For all he knows you could both be serial rapists!” 

“We’re two strangers that just saved your life, princess,” Ghost grumbled from the front seat. “And if your dad is punishing you, then I think I’m beginning to see why.”

Your mouth dropped like a lead weight and you stared daggers into the mirror, catching Ghost’s cold eyes in the reflection. He was still wearing the mask.

You were driving on country road that stretched almost  limitlessly into the horizon but for some reason he was still in disguise. Not that you cared to see his face! No, if anything, you hoped you’d be out of their company much sooner rather than later for him to reveal himself. Though, that wasn’t going to happen it seemed, so you resolved to make that everyone’s problem. Share the burden of being abandoned to Mexico. 

“In case you haven’t realised; I’m not exactly accustomed to dead bodies and I’ve just come from the midnight showing of night of the living fucking dead here! I should be getting wheeled into a therapists office right now, not getting bundled up into another strange house, spending the night with Micheal Myers and groundskeeper fucking Willie,” you growled out, penetrating your gaze into Ghosts very soul, hoping he’d feel a shred of pity for you. 

However, you weren’t doing a very good job of that. Instead of knocking sense into the big brute you only made him narrow his eyes at you. And to add even further insult, Soap choked back a laugh. Though, he composed himself quickly after casting a glance at the leuitenant and focused his eyes back on the road. 

“You’ve got a funny way of sayin’ thank you, princess.”

And that was the last thing he said to you before ignoring you completely. No matter how much you moaned and groused and demanded to be taken back home, neither of the men would answer your cries. Typical men! 

They left you to marinade in your own self pity - in a dish that was endlessly deep. Afterall, how could your father not appreciate how stressful your ordeal was? Sure, you both had your differences, but you’d have thought that even he would put his malice for you aside on account of an actual real life kidnapping! 

After a few more miles of barren road you found yourselves coming to a small village, and started to slowly roll toward a modest concrete house on the outskirts.

It was two floors high and painted a sandy cream colour, with a small sheltered space to park the car and protect it from the elements. It seemed as if it might just fit you and Soap through its tiny door, the ceilings didn’t look that high. And it was the thought of Ghost being stuck in its old wooden frame that made you finally crack a small smile for the first time since you’d been taken. 

“Any complaints about the exterior before we step in, sweetheart, or would you like to save your scathing words for when you’re inside?” Soap teased as he opened the car door for you. 

“Very funny,” you huffed, smile disappearing you made sure to knock into the door as you stepped out. “Maybe you can go make fun of some terrorist victims next.”

Soap raised his brows, but didn’t bother to dignify you with a reply. He closed the door behind you instead and walked up to house and unlocked it for you, ushering you inside. Not that there was much to walk into. 

There was some basic furniture, a ratty old couch, a table and chairs, a kitchen that hardly seemed stocked and an old orange cloth rug that looked like it had seen better days. The place smelt like old newspapers for some reason, and all in all, it didn’t inspire much hope in you for the rest of the house. And just as you caught yourself thinking that, you knew you’d already proved Soap right. You had many, many, many complaints. 

“Well, I drove. So I bagsy first shower,” Soap announced, trailing off toward the creaky wooden stairs at the end of the hall. “Try not to cause world war three while I’m gone.”

You balked as you felt Ghost brush past you, successfully getting through the door. Who had Soap directed that last order at? Jeuss. You were the kidnapping victim and somehow you didn’t qualify for washing up first? What was this?

Chivalry was truly dead. Though, it wasn’t like they’d rode up in white horses when they’d come to get you, no they emerged through a cloud of bullets and snatched you out of the house like a drug bust they could trade in for on the sly. 

“And what am I supposed to do now, hm?” You said, turning to the man now shedding his gear like a second skin onto the couch. 

He didn’t give you a response though, instead he just finished off pulling the various packs and armaments off of himself until he was left standing in his uniform and mask. He looked a few pounds lighter, but he was still massive compared to you. The equipment didn’t bulk him out quite as much as you’d suspected. 

“Is there a phone I can use?” You finally asked, exasperated with the silence. 

“No.”

He grunted as he took a seat on the couch and rolled up his sleeves, exposing his thick tattooed forearms. You couldn’t help but feel that that was some kind of threat. Though, your suspicions were eased as he shuffled around and crossed his arms around his head, lying down and closing his eyes. 

“So, what? We’re just waiting to see when my dad magically shows up?” You needled.

“You asked If there was a phone that you could use,” he reminded, glancing over at you with slitted eyes. “Why don’t you go get some rest princess, there’s rooms upstairs that you can whine in in peace.”

What!

You clenched your fists at your sides and growled out in frustration. How was it that you were stuck with one of the most insensitive men in the world right after you got kidnapped? In fact it felt like you were being held hostage all over again.

Well you weren’t going to sit there and take it this time!

Before you could think about how bad an idea it was, you marched straight over to the sofa and started digging through Ghosts things. You crouched and moved aside all the smaller pouches and sharp pointy things trying to find anything that might resemble a phone. Though you didn’t get much of an opportunity to look, you were swiftly dragged up to your feet by the masked man and knocked away from his stash. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He barked, not sparing a single decibel from piercing your already abused ears. 

“I need to use a phone! I need to call someone!” You screamed back. “I need to tell people I’m alright. My friends must be worried sick and you’re treating me worse than a prisoner! E-Even prisoners get their phone calls!”

You tried desperately to fight against his hold, and screeched and hit against him like a banshee. However the man was solid, his hands were digging into your skin like a bear trap. And even as you tried to scratch at him, it didn’t deter him any. He just held you against him, making you smell the sweat off of him, the bullets, the smoke, you breathed him in as he pinned your hands flush to your body and screamed out as it became too much.

“In case you’ve forgotten, princess, we’re hiding out in a safe house right now because you’ve just been bloody kidnapped! You can’t call anyone because we need to keep the line clear and wait for word from back home. This isn’t fucking vacation, sweetheart, this is a fucking mission,” Ghost roared. 

You froze at his words. Your body felt like it had been hit by lightning and all of a sudden you could feel the storm in you shifting. All of the adrenaline was draining from you and just like that, you went from fighting like a rabid dog to blubbering like a baby. You broke down in his arms and felt the tears flowing freely back down your cheeks and fell back against him defeated. 

“Oh Jesus,” Ghost muttered to himself. 

Of course you hadn’t forgotten you’d been kidnapped. You were just dealing with it all in the only way you could. it just so happened, that when you fell back on instinct to get you through hard times it would result in you being, well as your dad put it, a massive pain in the ass. You were sure that Ghost would say the same. 

You didn’t even try to compose yourself, you were too upset to think. 

So, as Ghost came to that conclusion too, he decided to take matters into his own hands and picked you up again. Though, instead of putting you over his shoulder this time, he held you tightly against his chest and carried you off into one of the side rooms further into the house. 

The floor protested with every step the big man took and even over your shaky sobs, you could hear the wood below groaning like a zombie. He checked in the first door, and then the second on the wall to the right, coming to a stop when he found what he was looking for. Through blurry eyes you could see that you were in a small bathroom. A messily tiled room that contained an old wooden cabinet, a sink and a toilet. 

Ghost sat you down on the closed toilet seat and pulled some tissue from the roll, pressing it into your limp hands. You looked down at it like it was alien for a second, not sure what to do until you met Ghosts unwavering gaze. You needed to dry your eyes and get control of yourself. 

“Let’s get you cleaned up, princess,” he sighed, turning and reaching into the cabinet. 

You gulped down a fat sob that had been threatening to come and sniffled softly instead. As much as you begrudged him, you knew Ghost’s logic was sound. You needed to get a hold of yourself and stop crying in front of him. He was hardly the sympathetic audience for it.

In fact it almost made you laugh when he turned back again and his skull mask caught the light. The hard plastic only served to remind you that he wasn’t going to sit and rub your back and make you feel better about it all. It was like he said, this was a mission for him, and his only concern was getting you out of Mexico alive. 

“There you go, deep breaths,” he said in a hushed voice, putting his hand on your shoulder for a second. 

The warm contact was comforting for a fleeting moment, his hand was gentle yet firm on you before he took it away. He’d fetched a cloth from the cabinet and stepped over to the sink, running it under the water and stepping back to your side. You’d expected him to hand it to you just like he had done with the toilet paper, but instead he took you by surprise and crouched at your level, stepping down from his massive height. 

He smoothed the cloth over your cheeks and down your tear tracks, softly clearing up your sensitive skin. When he’d brought the cloth away and refolded it, you’d half expected it to be a muddied black from your makeup but there were only traces of grey. You’d cried most of your makeup off already. Then, after a few more goes at letting him clear up your face you almost jumped out of your skin when a piercing ring sounded out from the living room.

“Stay here,” the soldier softly ordered, handing you the stained cloth. 

Ghost ducked out of the room, and you lamely held the cloth in your hand, listening out to what he was doing. He silenced the ring, presumably answering the phone he’d secreted away, and for a second all there was was fuzzy silence and the low ringing that hadn’t left your ears. 

“Mhmm,” Ghost grunted, his rumble cutting clear through your tinnitus. “Yeah we’re clear I reckon. Didn’t pass anyone on the way in…no one awake, no curtains twitching…your daughter is-…mhmm…yeah…ok. Well just so you know, your daughter is…fine by the way.”

The gruff man said the last part quietly, and it was that that clued you into the fact your dad probably hung up before he could catch it. He didn’t care how you were, only cared that you hadn’t been killed by a foreign gang. That probably wouldn’t have done his image any favours, you thought to yourself. What man wasn’t able to protect his family? A high ranking general at that. All that mattered was that you were safe and he didn’t have a PR crisis on his hands. How you were doing was none of his concern.

You gulped thickly when Ghost reentered the room and did your best to put on a brave face. He didn’t say anything. He flicked his eyes over your grave expression and took the cloth back from your hands, wetting it under the tap again and handing it back to you. 

“Those must be killing you,” he murmured, gesturing to your feet. 

You startled when he spoke again, not used to having a conversation with someone who’s lips were hidden behind a skull facade. It was quite unnerving when his rasp broke through the cloth.

Eventually though you nodded, looking down at your feet and finally acknowledging all the blisters that had formed where the straps had dug into you. The shoes had been new, you’d been excited to wear them when you put them on earlier. Now, they were just another regret among many. 

“Let’s get them off, hm?”

You nodded again, caught by surprise by the tender way that he was dealing with you out of nowhere. Perhaps out of pity after speaking to the General. You had no way of knowing if he was sympathetic to that type of thing. He was a soldier afterall. They dealt with much worse than emotional neglect and were often oblivious to the cold way your dad treated you. At least in your previous experience of them...

Ghost got to his knees and softly took one of your feet in his hands, turning it slowly this way and that a couple times, until he caught sight of the tiny buckle. He dealt with it like he was diffusing a bomb. 

He carefully took the end of the strap in one hand and lifted the buckle with the other, gently letting the catch come loose. Then he slid the shoe from your foot and repeated the process with your other. You had to do a double take. Was this really the same man that had all but snapped at you like a vicious dog earlier? 

“Thanks,” you whispered, still uselessly holding the cloth in your hands. “Did the General say when we could leave?”

Ghost frowned as you addressed your dad by his title, but quickly fixed his eyes into that familiar cold stare. He thought to himself for a moment before he answered you. He was probably scared you’d kick off again, you realised. 

“He said he wouldn’t get here till evenin’ at least. Said he’d be bringing a chopper though.”

“Ok.”

You didn’t have anything else to say. You’d run out of words, and steam and any kind of fight and all the things that had kept you going before. 

You were going to be stuck with the two strangers until almost the next day. There was nothing you could do about it, no one you could complain to, no one that cared. You might as well just accept it. 

- 👑-

You’d ended up taking Ghost’s advice afterall. You’d finished cleaning up in the bathroom yourself and painfully trudged upstairs with your swollen feet, searching out the first bedroom you could find along the gloom of the lonely hallway. The lightbulb flickered and danced as you’d made your selection, chasing you into the room as it mimicked the gunfire you’d seen flashes of not hours ago. 

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, not like you thought it would. 

You’d been convinced you’d be left sitting like a character in a movie. Painfully watching the walls in the cold silence and mourning the life you could have had if only you came from a loving home. However, as much as you loved dramatics, you weren’t fit to live up to the hurting girl stereotype.

You realised that when you woke up again and the sun was shining through your room like a big bright fuck you. You thought you were getting a moment's peace? Think again. You were going to be awake for the rest of your internment at the safehouse. 

You sighed and scanned the room with your eyes, taking note of the peeling paint and sparse bits of furniture, confirming what you already knew. This room was just as shitty as all the rest. It wasn’t like there was any reason to maintain safehouses beyond being structurally sound and stocked with essentials, but it would’ve been nice to provide some comfort. At the very least they could’ve made it smell better, less musty, less like a place people came to rot.

“You’re awake.”

You yelped when you heard the voice break through the calm and looked over to the door, spotting the looming spectre that stood in your entryway. Ghost. Had he been watching over you the whole time you slept? You didn’t know whether to feel creeped out or grateful for the fact he was so concerned about your safety. 

“I am,” you finally said.

“Good. I thought I’d bring you something to eat.”

Perhaps he hadn’t been watching over you after all. Maybe it had been Ghost’s footsteps that had woken you up. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination, he sounded worse than a herd of cows when he creaked across the floors.

You sat up when he walked into the room and caught a glance at the bowl in his hands. Something to eat was a good description of what he’d brought you. It looked like he’d heated some spaghettios. Not exactly the most appetising thing that you could think of, but given you hadn’t eaten since the morning before, you realised that beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Not that you were often, if ever, a beggar. It was easier for your family to give you unlimited access to money and shut you up than it was for them to spend any time in your presence arguing that you should work for it. 

“Thanks,” you murmured, taking the bowl off of Ghost after staring at it for a few seconds. 

There was a spoon already shoved into the bowl, and when you picked it up, you found yourself wincing at the burning metal. Ouch. Ghost couldn’t have warned you they were hot? You glared up at him, but he was already retreating back out of the room, seemingly content that you had everything you needed.

But you didn’t feel like you had everything you needed at all.

You felt pathetic admitting it, but you didn’t want to be alone. Your ears were still ringing even hours after the firefight had ended and there was nothing to do in that bland room all alone. And now to top it all off it felt much too hot and sweaty. You felt like you might go mad. You softened your features again and called out to Ghost, praying against all odds that he’d indulge you. 

“C-can you stay?”

Ghost paused and turned his head, his skeletal mask caught the golden glow of the sun. It didn't look right. He looked out of place in the sunlight. Though, you knew better than to voice that thought, he wasn’t going to stay if you insulted him again. 

“If you really want me to,” he finally replied, tilting his head at you.

You nodded and watched as he looked around and found no alternative but to sit on the end of the double bed, and sighed as he plonked himself down. The bed rippled with his weight, and you almost let the bowl spill out of your hands, but thankfully caught it before it could drop.

That wouldn’t have been good, you thought. You’d already set yourself on eating it all when it had cooled. You couldn’t go without food any longer or your stomach would be gurgling like an alien. How embarassing.

“Did you manage to get some rest too?” you asked awkwardly, testing the spoon in your hands again.

“Some,” he answered, casting his eyes over you. “Soap traded places pretty quick.”

“What an asshole,” you snorted, lifting a spoonful of pasta to your lips and blowing on it.

“That arshole saved your life, princess,” Ghost reminded you, voice regaining its husky edge. “Show some respect.”

“I didn’t-I mean…I just figured you could’ve probably used the rest, I was just joking…Sorry,” you muttered, resigning yourself to eating instead of talking.

Ghost watched intently as you ate every last spoonful, but you ignored him, finding yourself greedily taking on more and more as you recognised your own hunger. You forgot about Ghost’s scolding for the moment as you felt your hunger pangs rattling from deep within you. Though, you felt a little better after finishing the bowl. You were going to eat so much when you got back home, you thought to yourself. 

You set the bowl down on the floor and looked back at your rescuer, staring awkwardly at him for a few moments. The silence was making your skin crawl. Why wasn’t he saying anything? 

“Do you ever take off that mask?” you blurted, feeling your cheeks heat up as you said it.

Ghosts eyes took on a glint as you’d said it and if you weren’t mistaken it felt like he was…smiling? You bit your lip and looked away from him, focusing instead on a particularly chipped patch of paint on the wall to his left side.

“Why? Do you want me to take it off?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone.

“I just- I don’t get why you still have it on. The bad guys don’t know we’re here, right?”

“Maybe I’m just shy,” he teased, leaning back on the bed, his forearms rippling as they supported his weight. 

You snorted at his answer, folding your arms across yourself. Suddenly you were all too aware of the fact that he was staring at you bare faced, messy haired and still in yesterday’s tiny dress. There was no way that he was shy, and it seemed unlikely that he was ugly under there. He walked and talked like a confident man, like a man that had never questioned himself. How exciting.

“Has Soap ever seen your face?” you asked, picking at the loose threads on the blanket you laid under. 

“Why the sudden fascination?” he grumbled. “I thought I was a big scary serial rapist or somethin’?”

You winced as he threw your words from earlier back to you, it felt like you’d been burned with acid. You realised how stupid you sounded now. He’d held onto that. 

“I didn’t say that you were one, I said that you could be one,” you corrected, sighing at your own stupidity. “I didn’t know who you both were, in fact I still don’t. I guess- I guess I just got freaked out, is all. Do other people not react a little crazy when you go on rescue missions?”

“Other people tend to be more gracious, at the very least,” he snorted.

You winced again.

You really were a princess sometimes. As much as the nickname had been annoying you all night, the soldier wasn’t wrong to call you it. They’d been good enough to put themselves in harms way and carry you through a sea of threats only for you to turn around and return fire, calling them names. 

You put your head in your hands and groaned. You always slung your arrows at the wrong people. Always got prickly with people that tried to help. And they’d helped you more than anyone ever had.

“Thank you for saving me. I know it's a little late, but all the same…thanks for getting me out of there alive,” you murmured, catching a glance at his widened eyes. “And for- um, dealing with me earlier. That was nice of you cleaning me up like that.”

Ghost took a second to recover from you actually thanking him, his eyes staying open and shocked before returning to their usual shadowy state. They looked almost black even even in the sunlight. Though, you supposed it didn’t help they were hidden behind cloth and plastic. 

“You’re welcome, darlin’” he rumbled.

Your heart skipped a beat.

“Darling?” you grinned, preening at the warmth in his tone. “Am I growing on you?”

“Like black mould,” he groused, “Can’t get rid of your questions, can I?”

“You did not just compare me to mould,” you growled, forgetting yourself - and who you were facing up against - and shooting toward him with a pillow in hand.

Ghost, cast his eyes from you to the pillow and turned, catching you before you could do anything stupid with it and held you against the wide expanse of his chest again. You were held solidly against him, packed in tight and before you could do anything else, you were disarmed and your pillow was plucked right out of your hands and thrown back to the head of the bed.

“What’d you think you were gonna do with that then, ay?” he growled, his mouth dangerously close to grazing your ear. 

His breath was warm on your neck and it raised a trail of goosebumps across your flesh. You shivered in his arms, feeling his words send a shock through your body, and felt yourself go limp in his bulging arms. Why was he suddenly so much more enticing when he had you pinned down like this?

“Ay?” he asked again, releasing a low chuckle. “You think you can attack me, princess? Think you can do a bit of damage with those little arms?”

“I think I could do a lot of damage if you let me,” you breathed, scraping your lip under your teeth. 

The lieutenant paused and held you very still for a moment, his arms stiffening over your body like he’d moulded to you. Oh no. Had he not liked that, you wondered. Had you just embarrassed yourself again?

“Are you flirting with me?” he asked, voice not losing his amusement.

Oh good. So he wasn’t disgusted with you.

“Maybe…depends on if you liked it or not.”

“And if I liked it?”

“Then, yes, I was.”

You both sat in silence for a second, you stayed trapped in his arms, holding stock still while he mulled over what you’d said. What now? You didn’t have to wonder very long, he released you and turned your body so that you faced him again, balancing precariously on your hands and knees, capturing your face in his hands so that you were forced to look at him. 

“You should be careful who you flirt with, princess. It’s like you said earlier, I’m a stranger in a mask, you have no idea who I am…No idea what I’m capable of,” he trailed, letting your own mind take over the implication he was getting at.

Not that you got the point that he was trying to make. If anything the whole thing was suddenly hotter to you. A rough fuck with the giant soldier that just rescued you from a gang of kidnappers and could pin you down like you were nothing? Hadn’t he sensed your issues from a mile off? Maybe he had, maybe that was why he said what he said. 

“Maybe I wanna find out,” you whispered.

You shot forward and kissed where you supposed his lips must be and, luckily, guessed correctly. You could feel him tense up in surprise before yanking you off of him and pinning you under him, holding your body down against the bed with his sculpted body, his legs caging yours in and his hands holding your wrists like manacles. 

“Give me one reason you want to, other than spiting your father,” he purred, eyes glowing with amusement and curiosity.

So he did know your game.

“You have a sexy voice,” you tried, fluttering your lashes in a way that you hoped would work on him. 

“Fuckin’ americans,” he grunted, laughing lowly to himself. “I want somethin’ better than that.”

“Didn’t think you’d be the type to go fishing for compliments,” you snarked.

With that little comment , you were rolled over quicker than you could comprehend and before you could turn to see what he was doing he slapped you on the ass. It was solid, no nonsense. Enough to sting even though he’d done it through the fabric of your little dress. He wouldn't have to do much to expose you and make it hurt more. He’d just have to flip up the fabric. 

“Answer my question,” he growled, still holding one of your hands captive.

“Because I want you to teach me a lesson…because you’re the first person in a long time that’s had me minding my manners,” you sighed, using your free hand to give your body leverage enough to rut against the soldier's bulging crotch.

“Fuck me,” Ghost grunted, voice losing its sharpness as you rutted against him. 

“That worked?” you grinned, half shocked that it clearly convinced him. 

“You could have any cunt from England, princess, and plenty of em’ would sound like me. You think that they could make you beg like I can?” he questioned.

You were tempted to give him a sassy reply, but already knowing you too well, he hit you with a couple more spanks, this time on your bare ass and finally slipped your skirt up so that he could admire the flesh he was abusing. You gasped as he ran his hands over your cheeks and whimpered when he ran a finger over your slit. You practically feel his eyes glowing like laser sights as he connected with your glistening flesh and paused so that he could dip his finger into you and confirm his suspicions.

“Please,” you whined, praying that he’d start moving it, praying for friction.

“Looks like I’ve got my answer,” he chuckled, removing his soaked finger and slapping your ass noncommittally. “Please what, hm?”

“Please,” you cried out, feeling awfully empty as he’d withdrawn. “Please, I want your fingers. Want you to finger me please.”

“Aw, so cute when you’re all needy, princess. Alright. If you ask me nicely, I’ll give you what you want.”

“I did ask nicely!” you whimpered, feeling your body burning with desire for him.

It felt like he was all you could think of now. The kidnappers and the whole resentment thing you had going for your family was a distant memory and all that remained was Ghost. All that remained was burning lust and a need to have him inside of you, possessing you wholly and taking you for his own.

“You’re such a little brat, princess. I just told you that you could have what you wanted and you just had to go spoil it for yourself,” Ghost said, his voice forging into a chilling point. “Looks like you need to be taught better manners.”

You groaned at his words, but you didn’t get much of a chance to work out what they meant. Instead, his hand rained down hard on your already stinging flesh and he spanked you like it was his next mission. You cried out as the smacks began to burn more and more and wriggled in his grasp, fruitlessly struggling against him and fighting his expert hands to no avail. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” you chanted, giving him what you thought he wanted.

“Sorry, what?” he asked, accentuating each word with a slap. 

They were softer than the ones he’d been giving before at least. Like caresses against your screaming skin, fiery with his rough treatment.

“Sorry…for not asking nicely,” you said quietly, hoping to god he’d just give you what you wanted.

“Sorry, sir,” he grunted, running his hands over your hot skin.

“Sorry, sir,” you repeated quickly, sighing as his gentle touch soothed your prickling burns.

“That’s better.”

You hummed as his nails scratched down your cheeks and settled into the bed, feeling like the stiff blankets were transformed into egyptian cotton as your head grew fuzzy. His hands really were quite skilled, especially since he was so easily able to have you howling one second and then had you curling up like a cat the next.

“You wanna do this for the rest of the day or you wanna try asking for what you wanted again?” Ghost asked, his voice softening as he watched you relax.

“Mmm, would rather have your fingers inside me please, sir,” you moaned, smiling contentedly to yourself.

“That’s better…good girl.”

Your masked soldier grabbed your hips in his hands, making you feel tiny as he yanked you up like you were nothing. Yanked you into a half kneeling position as you kept your head pasted onto the bed, not having the strength to bring it up. Then finally, just as you were about to start begging again, spat on his hand and pierced his finger back inside you. 

You groaned at the intrusion and whined as he slowly pumped it in and out, getting you all worked up and turning you into a moaning mess. You were burning for more, your belly tightening as he worked his digit in and out and circled your clit with his other hand like it was an art. You whined and writhed and clutched at the sheets, crying out as he added another finger and increased his pace. You could feel the rumble that caught in his throat reverberate through your chest. ‘

“So pretty. Your cunt’s so wet and you’re clenching on me so hard. What would happen if I shoved my cock in there? Would you cum right away, princess?” he purred.

You whined out at that and felt your need light up anew, could feel it vibrate around your skull and through your gums. Yes. Stick your cock in me. That’s all you wanted, you wanted the big man on top of you, pinning you down and boxing you in like an animal, fucking into you like you were his own personal fleshlight. Fuck. 

“Ohmygod, please fuck me, Ghost!” you cried out, “Please, oh my god please, sir! Please fuck me.”

Ghost chuckled and slowed his pace, bringing his fingers to a near stop. It was like hell, the tingles dampening throughout your body, your high being torn from you. You growled out and tried to claw your way up, tried to face him and see the stupid glint that would no doubt be in his eyes, but before you could he shoved you back down and tapped your ass again.

“We don’t have condoms here, princess. It’s not exactly standard protocol,” he teased. “Doesn’t seem like such a good idea.”

“I don’t care! I’m on birth control and I get checked out by the doctor every month,” you whined, fighting against any argument he could make against giving you his cock. 

“Well…I suppose that changes things,” he grunted.

Thank fucking god! You were sure you were going to d-

“Fuck!”

Your strangled cry pierced the room as he replaced his fingers and thrusted into you, shattering you inch by inch with his massive cock. It seemed endless, it was torturous in all the right ways, the burn that licked through your body like a forest fire. He was huge, not that you doubted that of course.

“That what you wanted, hm? That feel good, princess?” Ghost said, coming to a stop as he filled you completely. “Tell me, how does that feel? I wanna know if anyone else has been able to make you as fuckin’ speechless as this.”

You whined out, scratching at the bed underneath you like a trapped animal and breathed in thickly, wondering if your lungs would ever recover from the events of the last few hours. Wondering how to answer Ghost. How did it feel? Did anyone else compare to him? What stupid fucking questions. 

Nothing compared.

“It feels so fucking good, feels like you’re gonna split me in half,” you gasped, rocking yourself against him. “Need you to move, need to feel you ruin me!”

“Oh yeah? You need me to move? What a slutty girl telling me such filthy things,” he growled, reaching around and grabbing your neck, not quite enough to choke but enough to let you know he was in control. “Tell me, slutty girl, who’s in charge?”

“You, sir!”

“Who gets to wreck this pussy?” he asked, slowly begining to fuck you, rocking himself slowly in and out of you at an agonising pace. 

“You, sir!”

“Are you my little whore?” He asked again, building up speed a little, catching you in all the right places and turning your head to mush.

“Yes sir,” you cried out, feeling yourself coming closer and closer to the edge.

“Good fuckin’ girl, princess.”

You screamed as he upped his pace out of no where and fucked you like it was his job. Your eyes lost focus and your teeth gnashed together and suddenly it was a fight to stay upright as he pounded in and out of you and held your neck tightly in his firm grasp. It wasn’t like anyone you’d been with before, this was a new level of fucking you’d never experienced.

“Fuck!” you cried out again. “Gonna- gonna cum.”

“Yeah? Good, cum for me. Clench on my cock, little slut.”

You moaned out and gripped the sheets underneath you tighter, feeling your whole body shaking as his cock forced you off balnce. Just a few more thrusts and-

It felt like bliss, it felt like a high from a drug you’d just taken for the first time. You came with a muffled scream as Ghost clamped his hand over your mouth and gasped wordlessly as he continued to fuck you. In and out, in and out, it was about all your mind could process as your body zipped and sparked like it had been hit by a thunderstorm.

He kept going like that, absolutely relentless, skewering you and turning you to mush below him, making you feel like dirt at his knees. You were nothing, you weren't any kind of princess, you were just his toy. And you fucking loved it. You loved that he could make you feel like that, but still make you feel so fucking precious as he continued to caress your skin and growl affirmations every now and then.

So fucking pretty.

Mine, princess, you’re mine. 

Feel so fucking good, you’re so fucking good.

You cried out as he put his hand around your throat again and put on some pressure, making you struggle a little to pull in air, but not by much. It felt exquisite. The tremors of your last orgasm were still bolting through you and now another one was building. You felt so good, felt so impossibly warm as you struggled beneath him. Fuck, you never wanted this to end. But you knew you could hardly take much more.

“You gonna cum for me again? Gonna give me another one before I finish? C’mon, I know you have another one in you, princess.”

You whined and felt your thighs shaking like they were going to collapse and suddenly his fingers closed tighter round the sides of your throat. You gasped loudly a couple times, trying to pant out that you were close, but the sound couldn’t quite form in your mouth. Then, in no time at all it was hitting you again, that high, that euphoria. Another orgasm. 

“Fuck!” Ghost growled out. 

You clenching around him had sent him over the edge and all too soon, you were both collapsing into the sheets like falling scaffolding. You clattered down against him and he pulled you close. He bucked his hips a couple times as he finished inside you, grunting a little with the increased sensitivity he felt as you shifted against him. It was divine.

You were both wrecked.

Neither of you said a word as you laid there, both keeping your eyes closed and your mouths open as you panted into the arid empty air. There was nothing to say. You just had to soak in the moment and retreat into each other's bodies, accepting the burning, unbearable heat you were both giving off and enveloping each other in it.

Fuck.

“Is that a better way of saying thank you, sir?” you finally moaned, grinning to yourself as you proved yourself right.

That was one way to teach you some respect alright.

#ghost x reader #ghost #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #john soap mactavish #cod mw2 #cod fanfiction

[henrypreppy]

Secondhand

It had been a while since I needed to dress up last, so I was in need of some clothes. I had outgrown my suit from college and I hadn’t worn it since I interviewed for my job now. Being in inside sales, I could stay relatively casual—a polo and jeans most days. Still, the executives were coming to town and I was in need of something to wear to a business dinner.

The execs were always stodgy and traditional where I was more laid back and comfortable. I wasn’t willing to drop actual money on nice, tailored dress clothes to look on par with them; so, I was off to the secondhand store.

I just needed a suit that fit well enough and some shoes. It was wall-to-wall of poorly sorted clothes. I clearly had my work cut out for me. I decided to start with shoes since it was a smaller section. While there were two full aisles of women’s shoes, the men’s was only half of one, and sparse at that. It was mostly an array of beat up running and basketball shoes, but a few pairs of dress shoes—most of which equally torn up—were grouped toward the end.

Only one pair looked like it was in good condition and wasn’t meant for a giant: a pair of black tassel loafers. On further inspection, they looked quite expensive and roughly my size. They weren’t something I would typically wear—far from it. It was definitely something the executives would approve of, though.

So, I reached out to check the size on the inside of the tongue. When my hand finally grasped the shoes, I felt an unexpected and intense surge of sexual energy. Immediately, my manhood swelled and twitched. I was confused and my mind raced before landing on one thought that I would never admit was mine: Smell the loafer.

I had never wanted to sniff a shoe before, nonetheless a man’s. It was entirely out of the ordinary, and I fought the desire. I was straight. This was nothing like me. What if someone saw? I took a quick glance around—no other shoppers or cameras. No one would know. It was a shoe, too, not a man. It’s not like I was licking some dude’s feet or anything, so really there was no harm in it. I needed to check the inside for the size, so if I caught a whiff, it wouldn’t mean anything anyway.

I took one of the shoes and lifted it slowly to peak inside. The bottom of the shoe read Friedman and had filigree around the name. I’d never heard of that brand before, but I never wore dress shoes anyway. I started to rotate it and take it in on all sides. I just ended up staring, almost in a trance. It was well made, I guessed. I shrugged off the feeling and began to lift the tongue to look inside when my hand boosted the shoe much closer to my face and my nose dipped inside. I inhaled sharply and smelled musk, shoe polish, and expensive leather. My head was reeling from the rush and I was ecstatic. I failed, even, to suppress a light moan as my cock lurched inside my jeans. It felt like something had come over me, and it sent ripples of pleasure through my whole body. I wanted more. It was such a rush. So, I took another hit, this time slower—relaxing and enjoying it. Suddenly, I caught myself and had a quick look around. I blushed. Thankfully, no one was around to see. I lifted the tongue stiffly to look again. I took notice of the heavy imprints of the previous wearer, and I finally took note of the size: 9.5 D. They would fit just fine it seemed.

“Put them on,” I heard a baritone voice say. I jumped and immediately scanned the area. There was still no one around. I was starting to get creeped out when my other hand took the other shoe off the shelf and brought it to my nose. I couldn’t resist taking another sniff, noting the distinct masculine smell that enraptured me. I felt comforted and reassured; so, I took both shoes to a nearby bench, watching the tassels jostle ever-so-slightly as I walked. I was at full mast and leaking slightly by the time I sat down. Thankfully, no one was there to spot my confused lust.

Looking down and beginning to untie my favorite sneakers, I felt a sense of shame and arousal as another thought creeped into my head: “This is hardly appropriate footwear for a man.” It sounded like the voice I just heard, but clearer—more refined. It couldn’t have been my thoughts, but I felt strangely compelled to agree; a man’s footwear ought to reflect his sense of self-worth, and I wasn’t just an average Joe in some lazy-looking sneakers. I finally tugged the sneakers off, revealing my black athletic socks. “These will have to go, too,” I heard once again, the phantom baritone sounding more agreeable; “Proper shoes should have proper socks, but this is all I have for now.”

I reached for the right loafer, but caught myself. What was I thinking? There’s nothing wrong with sneakers and Nike socks. Everybody wears them. They’re comfortable. I needed some new dress clothes, but these feelings were something new to me. Was it worth it? I peered down at the old-fashioned loafers, my eyes first fixed on the tassels and slowly drifting to the inside of the shoes. I felt them calling me. I was lost in them once again as I felt my body move. Foot met leather and my member convulsed in pleasure. Feeling the worn loafer on the ball of my foot sent my head reeling as ecstasy flooded it. I came to understand my arousal did not attempt to resist the urge to slide my foot in deeper. My plain athletic socks slid in smoothly, filling the space in the shoe tightly. My foot felt good; it felt secure as I wiggled my toes, taking in every supple caress through my sock.

“Good. Now, the other,” the voice bellows in my head. It drowned out all other thoughts. The only thing I could think of doing was complying—not that I wouldn’t have anyway. Every point of contact with the loafer was orgasmic. I slid into the other loafer with a light moan. It was the most amazing feeling my feet had ever felt, and my cock began to leak in agreement. I stood up, uncaring of the damp spot on my jeans, and felt my full body weight on the shoes. I was stable and secure, the loafers hugging my feet intimately.

Then, I took a step forward. A rush came straight from my feet to my head. I began to walk just to feel that pure pleasure, step after step. Pulse after pulse of this amazing sensation aided in darkening the wet spot. I did not know where I was walking to, but I had to keep walking in these shoes.

The haze of pleasure ended as I stood before a rack of suits. It was next on my list to get, but I felt like I was there for something in particular. All of the suits were disorganized. Every color was mixed; sizing was in no order. An image popped into my head though—a grey three-piece suit with pinstripes. The image in my head seemed simultaneously foreign, but vivid and detailed. My cock responded gleefully. That was it. That was the suit I was after. My hands plunged into the racks haphazardly, groping and sorting through ever suit in front of me. Some were similar, but not what I needed. After each teasing disappointment, my desire for the suit I

pictured grew. As I continued searching, my hand plunged to the back of one of the racks and I felt it—the same familiar wave of pleasure from the loafers, this time on my fingertips as I grabbed at the smooth, expensive material.

“It is still here! Take it!” The voice erupted.

I obeyed, savoring the sensation of freeing the smooth woolen suit from the back of the rack. It felt better than the touch of anyone I had ever been with. As I freed it from the rack, I could see it was exactly as I pictured: jacket, vest, and trousers, all in a dull light grey with off-white pinstripes running down the length.

I opened the jacket to check the size, though it already seemed short for me. It was what I pictured, and I wanted it; but it seemed stuffy and formal—not my usual style by a long shot. As my hand brushed the silky lining, though, I knew this suit had to be mine, regardless of size. My hand slid from the inside label down the sleeve smoothly as pulled the jacket off the hanger, the rest of the ensemble still hanging in the other hand. As the other sleeve of the jacket hung off my frame, I felt incomplete; I placed the hanger in my sleeved hand and slid the other sleeve on with a suppressed moan. Even through a shirt, my nipples were responding to the fabric, hardening to stone. My fingers reached the end of the sleeves as excess material bunched behind my shoulder blades. The jacket hung a few inches higher than a proper fit as well. Clearly, this was made for a shorter, stouter man. My cock surged as the thought crossed my mind and I shuddered in pleasure.

I took a deep breath to clam my frantic arousal, noticing a familiar musky undertone. It reminded me of the shoes with less leather and mixed with an expensive cologne.

“Royal Muske. It’s been a while,” echoed in my head as if I knew the name of the scent. Fascinated by the knowledge that came from seemingly nowhere, I began to feel around the interior pockets. As my hand plunged into the silk-lined pockets, it was hard to figure out what I was feeling until I pulled it out, a silk polka-dotted bow tie, the maroon color matching the lining of the suit, and the off-white spots reminding me of the pinstripes running down my chest. I quickly pressed it to my nose, taking a strong hit from what remained of the cologne. I shuddered and put it back in the pocket, my hand touching another piece of silky fabric as I stuffed it in.

Looking up, I quickly realized that a few people were sneaking glances as I enjoyed the suit. I did not care, strangely. This was my suit. These were my shoes. So, what did it matter? I had become audacious in my search, consumed with pleasure and lust. Lastly, I checked the size of the pants. The tag read “42 x 27.” They looked far too wide for me, but the size sounded vaguely correct in my head. The pleats made them billow a bit more, but I thought I could use some extra room.

I reluctantly removed the jacket and placed it tenderly back on the hanger, savoring the liner’s touch. I had everything I came for, so I started toward the checkout line. It took me a few strides before I remembered my sneakers back in the shoe section. I hesitated briefly and focused on the warm embrace of the tassel loafers on my feet.

The voice once again urged me once again: “Do not go back to those ratty gym shoes.” It felt like a command, though I was inclined to agree despite them being my favorite sneakers. I’d had them for years; I felt inclined to fight the voice and turned back to the shoe aisle for my sneakers. Then, I felt something brush my ankle as I walked. The bow tie had fallen out of the suit jacket and brushed the exposed area. I instinctively reached down to pick it up, the thoughts of my old shoes leaving my mind as I picked it up and shoved it back into the coat pocket. Smiling lightly, I proceeded to check out with my new suit.

The woman at the register avoided eye contact after spotting the moist bulge beneath my belt. I exited without drawing attention to it and slung the ill-fitting jacket on as I reached the car. It was still mid-morning, and much of my day was free. The way home was a blur, but every shoe store, menswear store, and barbershop stood out to me as my crotch stirred in passing.

I walked into my apartment, still in a horny haze, wasting no time shutting the door and pawing at my crotch as I made my way to the bedroom. I couldn’t stop thinking about how good everything would feel on my skin. Placing the jacket, vest, and trousers on the bed, I began to strip.

“No more sloppy clothes,” I heard as I removed my t-shirt. I even repeated it to myself as I tenderly removed the loafers and yanked off my athletic socks. I unfastened my belt and lid my damp jeans down, revealing blue plaid boxers soaked with pre-cum. I hesitated again with my thumb in the waistband and sat down on the edge of the bed for a moment. The horny racing of my mind slowed and I could think a little more clearly.

“What on earth is coming over me?” I questioned, unsure of even my own senses. My boner began to retreat and clarity of thought came once again. Following clarity of thought came clarity of stomach, as it began to grumble. “Something to eat should help me focus,” I thought.

I hopped off the edge of the bed, careful to avoid even looking at the shoes that enraptured me and went to the kitchen to fix myself a sandwich for lunch. Once it was fixed, I cracked open a soda and sat, sipped, and munched. The whole morning made no sense to me. Only the shoes fit, yet I picked up an entire suit. Would I be able to find something better before the dinner on Tuesday? I had to. Though, it would probably involve fighting through weekend crowds if I didn’t do so today. I wasted an entire morning in a sexual haze, and my underwear showed it. I shuddered. I needed to change.

I went back into my bedroom, steering clear of the clothes on my bed. Something seemed off about them. I peeled off the wet boxers and flung them in the hamper by the door. When I turned around to walk toward my dresser, I kept my chin high, avoiding the enthralling outfit on my bed. As soon as I took my first step, I glanced my belt with my heel and stumbled forward. I regained my balance as my hands hit my bed, brushing against the soft fabric of the suit pants. I felt the same jolt of sexual energy as before: my cock jumped and I looked at the suit before me. It was irresistible and my eyes beamed with pure lust.

I picked up the pants, and unfastened them and slowly began sliding my legs into the oversized holes. The tip of my cock brushed the fabric, sending me wild once again. I buttoned and zipped the pants and went to look for a belt to hold them up, only to notice they had no belt loops.

“Good, Son. They’ll fit like a glove soon enough,” the voice echoed in my head. “Now, put it all on.”

I was helpless to resist and I began to slide my bare feet into the loafers. The leather caressed my feet, which had more room without the cushy socks. I could feel my feet shift slightly inside the rich material. My eyes caught the tassels again, and I smirked. They did make the shoes look proper. I wished to look proper myself. I moaned as I wiggled my toes and reached for the jacket containing the bow tie. I did not know how to tie one, but I wanted desperately to wear it. I removed it from the jacket and draped the silk over my neck, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine. Instinctively, my hands made quick work tying it into a perfectly even knot.

Next, I slid the vest over my shoulders. As the smooth fabric glided down my chest, my nipples began to harden more than ever before. Immediately, my cock began to dribble with pre-cum once more. I couldn’t help but moan as fabric and leather stimulated me.

“Just one more thing, and you’ll be mine,” I heard myself say. I was quivering in horniness and trepidation as I buttoned the vest and reached for the jacket. My smile widened to a dopey grin as I slid my right arm into the garment. The lining sent goosebumps down my arm as I saw my hand emerge from the end. My left arm had the same reaction as the jacket finally rested over my shoulders.

Lastly, I began to button the jacket, deftly pushing the button through the holes. As the second button was fastened, I moaned loudly and my mind went blank. For a brief moment, I couldn’t see or hear anything.

Then, the sound of hard-soled shoes on tile began to fade in along with my sight. I stood naked in a space that could only be described as blank. The floor was white and smooth; there were no walls in sight. In the distance, I could see a rotund figure in grey walking toward me.

“Hello!” I called out with a wave. “Hello, my boy!” He called back in a dignified baritone.

My cock stiffened and I remembered the voice as the on I’d been hearing in my head. I walked swiftly over to meet him. He would have answers. He had to have answers. He was deceptively far away, but I reached him without tiring in the slightest.

“Slow down, my boy,” he cautioned. “We have all the time we could possibly need here.”

As I approached, I was finally able to take the man in. He was quite portly with a round ball gut that was sure to enter a room before he did. He was around a good six inches shorter than me as well—perhaps 5’ 6”. He wore the very same three-piece suit and loafers that I found at the thrift store. It fit him perfectly. His hair was black and circled his bald crown like a wreath. He wore a thick mustache of the same color, and looked to be in his fifties or sixties.

I guess I was taking it all in for too long when his voice roused me and my manhood: “Something you like, Son?”

“No—I mean yes—I mean, what is this place?” I stammered.

“Just a place where you and I can interact face to face and perhaps sort out a few things. You took quite a liking to my shoes, Son.”

I stepped closer, but remained defensive. “No. No. No. You put some sort of spell on me. I would never do any of that stuff with shoes, especially not a man’s!”

“Relax,” he attempted to placate. “I may have awakened something dormant in you, but I certainly could not create something new. Why, look at yourself.” He gestured to my manhood. “You’re positively rock hard right now.”

With that, a full-body mirror rose from the ground in front of me, showing my tight, toned chest flecked with sparse hair and cock at full-mast.

“No! You’re doing this to me. I’m straight. Whatever this is, stop it now!” I demanded.

“I told you,” he said coolly, “This is just where we can chat, and I can’t make these feelings come out of nowhere, but I can certainly help them along.”

He took long strides for his short stature toward me, and locked eye contact as a wardrobe and chest of drawers materialized behind me. I began to back away, but was halted by the new furniture.

“Would you like for me to help it along?” He continued with a smile. “Stay away from me!” I shouted, but his advance never slowed.

As he came closer, he stretched out his hand for a handshake. “I’m Arthur, by the way,” he said politely, stopping a few feet from me.

I was confused, frozen like a deer in the headlights at full mast. He simply stood there, polite, but imposing. “Michael,” I said, shaking his hand hesitantly. I expected some sort of shock or wave of euphoria, but it was quite simply just a handshake.

“It’s a pleasure, Michael!” He happily boomed before lowering his voice to a business-like tone: “I’m sure you’re wondering why you’re here. I’ll assuage some anxiety and say you’re not dead.” He chuckled lightly. “This is merely my domain that I’ve brought your mind to. You shared enough of an affinity for my old clothes for me to welcome you here.”

“Okay. Well...” I trailed off, trying vaguely not to sound rude. “How do I get out? I didn’t exactly ask to come here.” I crossed my arms in passive defiance.

“Oh, but you did, my boy!” He stated excitedly. “I can’t force you to do anything you haven’t any inclination to do, whether it’s putting on my suit and shoes or bringing you here. On some level, you wanted to dress like me, meet me, and—if I interpret those horny thought earlier correctly—look like me.” He gave me a wink and a nod.

I resented what he was saying. I would never want to look like a bald, fat, old man; but my cock still seemed to betray me. Was he right somehow? Regardless, I would never say it. “You never answered my question, though. How do I leave?”

“But I did! You can leave when you no longer have any desire to stay. Or...”

“Or what?” I demanded.

“Or we can both leave together.” He grinned.

“Well, how do we do that? I get the feeling you’re not going to let me leave any other way, and I don’t particularly care if another old dude pops into existence anyway.”

“We’d be walking together, Michael. You and I would be one and the same. Just imagine getting to wear such nice clothes.” He smirked.

My cock jumped again. It sounded strangely exciting, but I was ashamed to admit it. I started to cover myself with my hands to hide the excitement.

“Oh posh, Michael! It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He stepped closer reaching beside my waist to open a drawer. “But you may as well cover yourself up with actual clothing.” He pulled out a large pair of white briefs—clearly his size—and offered them to me.

I reluctantly took them and attempted to step into them, but they were too big. I held them up by the waistband, which nearly hit my bellybutton.

“Would you like for them to fit better, Michael?” Arthur asked plainly.

I nodded and my waist began to grow to fit the briefs wrapped around them. “What are you doing to me?” I asked as my inflated figure formed a ball gut not unlike his.

“This way, they’ll fit better and you’ll become closer to your desires,” he chortled.

My gut continued to grow to match Arthur’s girth; my thighs followed suit, filling in the formerly- cavernous briefs. Stretch marks formed and lightened as my waist hit forty-two inches. My member became dwarfed by my large frame and I struggled to keep my balance.

Arthur eyed me up and down. “Looking splendid, my boy! Let’s have a good look at you.” He placed his hands on my shoulders to stabilize me and guided me to the mirror. I complied in total shock from my body changing so much in mere moments. He gave my shoulders a pat as we looked at our similar widths in the mirror.

“That, however, is not your waist” he said firmly, taking the briefs in his hands and hiking them up to my bellybutton. I moaned in surprised agreement as he gave my newly-formed belly a rub. He then cupped my balls through the briefs, sending me more and more waves of pleasure as they began to grow. My sack descended, farther, and I was left with two golf-ball- sized lumps straining against the white fabric as an obvious moose knuckle. My cock seemed even smaller by comparison.

I had to admit that I liked it, but I could not understand why. It felt correct—like I was meant to be this way. I stood still, staring at Arthur’s work, waiting for him to continue.

His hands gave my balls a final tug. They would be hanging much lower outside of he briefs. “You’re looking quite good with some meat on your bones. Wouldn’t you agree?” He directed.

I nodded in agreement, mouthing a “yes” without the words escaping my lips.

He rubbed my shoulders, locking eyes with mine in the mirror. His touch was electric, and I saw my heigh lowering to match his. Inch by inch, I shrank, my shoulders broadening and making me look rounder—just like Arthur. He then whispered into my ear: “Those are the right proportions for a man, Michael. Enjoy it.” His mustache bristled my ear and he gave me a wink.

A shivering “Yes, sir” and a squirt escaped my body, forming a small wet spot on my briefs.

His arms wrapped under mine, and he began rubbing my chest. The hair faded and fell from it as he covered every square inch. After he ousted the dusting of hair on my chest, the stretch

marks were more visible once again. His hands landed on my pecs, which began to expand into small flats of fat; my nipples hardened at the attention, becoming my main focus as he twisted and rubbed them. From each rub, they grew wider, expanding to the size of pencil erasers, then dimes. With each twist, they protruded more, lengthening to half an inch by the time Arthur relented.

Finally, he turned to the wardrobe again and brandished a ribbed athletic shirt. “Arms up, protege,” Arthur said with a smile.

I accepted the title without question and raised my arms up, curious about the prospect and afraid to disobey. He hoisted the shirt over me and draped it atop my portly frame. The fabric was silky and expensive-feeling. I relished it gliding down my face and chest. I let out another low moan as it brushed my nipples and settled into place. My nipples were clearly visible through the white fabric. My eyes were fixed on their bulges; my mind was fixed on their sensitivity.

My trance was broken: “Now tuck it in, Son. One should always be tucked and tidy.”

It was almost instinctual to obey now. Bit by bit, my hands tucked in the excess smooth fabric into the briefs. My enlarged frame made it harder than usual, but I felt oddly proud of the figure that would have disgusted me moments ago. As I tucked the last portion in, I turned briefly to the side, examining the girth exacerbated by my raised waistline. “Tucked and tidy, sir,” I reiterated.

“As you should be. You have quite the mature physique now. Shouldn’t it be clothed in more than undergarments?”

I met his eyes in the mirror again as he spoke this. I wanted to be just like this man. Maybe he did awaken something in me. I only knew what felt good and correct in that moment—him. “Yes, sir. Just like you,” I sighed wistfully.

“Very good! I think you’ll do quite well with me, then.”

Arthur opened the wardrobe’s doors, revealing a light grey three-piece suit with off-white pinstripes. Beneath it was a pair of the very same black tassel loafers he wore. To the right were all of the other accessories: maroon and navy striped socks, a maroon bow tie, silk braces in the same color, and finally the leather sock garters with two shiny metal clips on each. To the left, hung a fine white dress shirt with French cuffs. My cock leapt for joy at the sight, but I was speechless.

Arthur produced a chair and placed it behind me. “Now, sit, my son,” he whispered softly into my ear, his mustache brushing my ear once again as he spoke. A warm tingle coursed from my ear lobe to my spine as I complied. He took the socks and garters from the wardrobe and knelt down in front of me, eyeing my feet. I admired the scene repeatedly, swapping my stares from his shiny, smooth scalp ringed with thick, black hair, and the socks that my feet yearned to be encased in.

His hazel gaze met mine as he looked up and asked, “Are you ready, boy?” “Yes,” I replied, transfixed.

“You’ll enjoy my shoes much more with these. You’ll have more weight on them, too.” He placed the socks and garters to the side briefly, lowered his head, and grasped my right leg— one hand under the knee, the other just below the ankle. I felt a familiar warmth, though much stronger—almost burning—as he began to rub up and down my calf. As I looked down from his head again, I could see my calf thickening with a combination of muscle and fat as the hair faded away at his touch.

I moaned as he continued, “Yes, sir,” being the only words I could think to say.

His caress moved down to my foot, which felt amazing with its newfound sensitivity. My toes began to swell up like small sausages as his fingers worked through them. As his fondling continued, my hips began to buck and gyrate in the briefs.

“Not yet, boy,” Arthur said sharply. “You can cum when I say. That will be our grand finale.”

My hips lowered and my breathing deepened as I contained myself more. I only received a brief respite from the pleasurable onslaught as he switched legs and resumed. Wherever we were, I’m glad no one could hear my moans at the hands of a man—especially such and old and proper one. My self-consciousness aside, I was in ecstasy.

At long last, he picked up a sock and lightly brushed it over my sensitive soles. When he began to slide the silky fabric over my toes, I struggled to control myself. The sock gilded over my foot and graced my leg further up my now-denuded calf. I watched as it stretched and became ever-so-slightly sheer as the top was set just above the curve of my calf. The first sock was a warm and comforting pressure enveloping my leg; the second nearly made my feet have their own orgasms.

Arthur leaned back to let me see my socked feet. It looked proper for me. It was as if everything I’d worn before was horrible and uncomfortable. This seemed right. This is what I wanted. I bent over and caressed the silken beauties. I felt them on my calves and fingertips; I relished it. The socks wrinkled and creased slightly as I stroked them. Arthur moved my hands away and looked me in the eye.

“We can’t have them looking ruffled and untidy,” Arthur stated in a didactic tone while wrapping the cool leather of a sock garter just under my knee. He fastened the strap and pulled my sock up taut into the clip. My cock jumped as the first clip locked down, securing the sock. The second clicked down, and the spasming continued.

“Now you do the other, Junior,” He commanded through a grin, and held up the other garter, the length of it swinging back and forth seductively.

“Yes. Please!” I pleaded before taking it. I handled the leather and metal gingerly as I wrapped the cool materials under my girthy knee. I felt the embrace of the sock tighten as I pulled it up into the clips. After I secured it, I could not stop looking at my feet—my precious, socked feet. I wiggled my toes just to feel them rub my feet more.

“It gets better,” Arthur interrupted from the wardrobe. My eyes rose to meet him. He was buttoning the braces onto the trousers. They were the same colors as the socks—navy with a thick maroon stripe down the center of each side. He continued, placing the pants to the side and taking the dress shirt off its hanger, “It takes effort to look like a man should, but the payoff is entirely worth it, my boy.” As he concluded, he held up the shirt, unbuttoned.

I froze, remembering myself. What was I doing? I was sitting in a blank space being dressed by a man who made me as short and fat as he was—and I liked it? It was absurd. It wasn’t me; even if I thought the clothes looked nice, I wasn’t gay, I wasn’t his boy, and I certainly wasn’t fat. Still, it was undeniable that, despite it all, I felt good. I winced while mulling it over.

“I see you’re still in denial.”

He started toward me from only a short distance, a smile on his face. I panicked and began to try to stand up from the chair. I had barely lifted the legs of my larger frame when he lifted the rest and pulled me into a kiss and warm embrace. I tried to shake off the pleasure, but only for a moment. He pulled my head in for another kiss, this time plunging his tongue between lips that could not help but part. I even tried to fend off his tongue with my own, but he twisted around it with his as they danced in my mouth. After a moment, I relaxed as I felt his tongue beckon to mine and I obliged. I extended it out through his lips, settling it in his warmth. His mustache brushed my upper lip gently throughout. I closed my eyes and savored the moment. This is what I wanted.

He withdrew from the kiss, and my eyes opened, meeting his. “There you are, Son!” He chortled, rubbing his thumb above my lips to wipe off some saliva. I could feel bristling under his finger that was not there before. “You’re already looking much more handsome,” he said, ushering me toward the mirror, shirt in-hand. Immediately, I spotted it, a thick chevron mustache like his now adorned my face. It was brown like the rest of my hair, which was one of the few things distinguishing us at this point. “Very handsome and mature, wouldn’t you agree, Michael?”

“Yes, sir,” I replied, exaggerating my lip movements to watch my mustache as I spoke.

“Good then! Let’s get back to it,” he said, opening the shirt for me to step into. I shifted back and placed my arms through the sleeves. I enjoyed the starched fabric sliding down my arms, with the small excess draping ever-so-slightly underneath. Arthur shifted around me and began buttoning the shirt, leaving the top button undone. My body filled the it completely with just enough material left over to tuck in over my ball gut. He then reached into my front pocket and

teased my nipple while he retrieved a pair of silver cufflinks. I lurched forward as his finger graced such a sensitive spot through the shirt. When I stared at the cufflinks, I knew what to do; I began folding the French cuffs to my shirt. Arthur fastened them with a nurturing smile.

I examined the cufflinks while he stepped back to retrieve the trousers and braces. Within the silver, a small “ARF” was engraved. “Sir,” I began. “What does ‘ARF’ stand for? Are they your initials?”

“Yes, my boy. Arthur Richard Friedman, named partly after the man that mentored me. You’ll be a Friedman soon enough,” he declared proudly, extending the trousers for me to step into.

I smiled, enjoying the thought as I looked into the trousers, the braces parted to either side, inviting me to enter into them. I took an oversized step into them as he began to lift them up— first over my knees, then my thighs, my manhood, my waist, and stopping below my bellybutton. He hiked them up to adjust them, my thighs looking like sausages in new casing. The fabric was thin but durable and high quality. The pinstripes ran from the cuff of the pants, parallel with the well-defined crease up to my midriff, the pleats barely breaking the vertical pattern. It did little to make me appear thinner.

Arthur stepped behind me again and began helping the braces over my shoulders, lifting the trousers even higher as the straps found their resting place on my shoulders. As the waist was pulled securely up to my bellybutton, a noticeable outline of my balls formed in the trousers. The braces framed my stomach as if to announce its presence to anyone that could see. I struggled briefly to zip, button, and clasp my pants closed before taking myself in again. The moose knuckle was incredibly prominent below my barely-contained gut. I touched the bulge through the fabric in curiosity and watched my balls leap in pleasure as I shuddered.

“Just as a man ought to be,” Arthur said warmly. “Although I wouldn’t leave the house without a tie at the very least. A man should always wear a tie, shouldn’t he?”

With growing confidence, I proclaimed “Yes, sir!” And began to flip my starched collar up. Arthur buttoned my top button and handed me the bow tie. It was very tight around my neck, forcing my neck straight. I draped the neckwear around my thick neck and tied an even knot just as before, despite it only being my second time.

“Just as I taught you,” Arthur cooed before flipping the collar back down. With a light wince, a small roll of fat formed above the top of the collar. Arthur ran his finger along the excess flesh, sighing in satisfaction; his touch brought relaxation and further horniness. The bow tie emphasized the gut much further—my girth now being framed on all sides. Arthur gave my gut a gentle pat, causing another visible spasm of my testicles through the pants. “Handsome indeed, but let’s finish this. Shall we, my boy?”

“With pleasure, sir!” I sounded off.

“Why don’t you address me properly if you’re going to be a Friedman, Son,” he commanded, the last word echoing in my head and taking hold.

Arthur was my father now. He made me into the man I had become and I was proud of it. I was proud to be unlike the rabble I was when I entered the thrift store; so, I grinned and announced, “Yes, Father.”

“Good boy, my son!” He replied.

His words were ecstasy to me, and I shivered in pleasure. Once he handed me the vest, I donned it proudly. I buttoned it up, my thick digits increasing in speed as it all became more natural to me. It sheltered my gut, its pinstripes blending in with the pants and presenting me as slightly slimmer.

Then, he held out the jacket. It called to me—welcomed me—and I pulled my arms through as Arthur embraced me from behind, resting his chin next to my neck. I breathed his cologne in deeply as I buttoned the suit, the minor illusion of thinness disappearing in the mirror as the top button was fastened. The cologne seemed to fit Arthur; it would fit me now as well. “Royal Muske,” I groaned, my eyes meeting his in the mirror.

“Yes, my son; just like we always wear. You’ll have it in just a moment. Now, take a seat for me.”

“Of course, Father,” I said with pride before sitting.

He went to the wardrobe again and returned with the loafers and cologne. He spritzed me twice on the neck and the smell overtook me. It was familiar, like something I had smelled my whole life. I relaxed even more as my father, presenting a loafer, instructed, “Look deeply into the loafer, Son.”

I looked inside and was lost in it once again. The inside of the shoe seemed to go on forever. I began to see it clearer as it was lifted toward my face. Inside, on the insole, the filigreed name “Friedman” came into focus. The smell of the rich leather began to reach my nose as Arthur pushed it closer to my face. My full view was nearly enveloped as it made contact with my face.

“Breathe, my son,” he commanded.

I took a deep breath, letting the scent of leather permeate my whole body. I was in a blissful stupor as he removed the loafer.

“It will all be yours very soon,” he assured. “There’s just one more thing we need to change.”

I looked back at the mirror and saw his scalp gleaming in the light and my thick disheveled mop. Noting the difference, I resolved: “My hair.”

“Precisely! All Friedmans lose their hair early,” he resounded. “You’re going to love it!” He continued before leaning over and planting a kiss on my lips.

“I will love it,” was the only thought in my head as he began running his hands through my hair. It felt warm, and tingled as he made stroke after stroke through my locks. He lifted my chin so my eyes met his as he gave three final brushes with both hands descending my crown to the nape. The top of my head began to feel much cooler. My father smiled wide and moved so I could see myself in the mirror. Standing next to him was his brown-haired twin. The top of my head shone brilliantly and was encircled by a thick brown wreath of hair that glistened itself, gelled to obedience down my head. This was who I wanted to be. I knew it now, but would never have admitted it just hours ago.

I finally had to say it: “I love it. Thank you so much, Father.” Arthur leaned in and I was ready to receive him. I opened my mouth wide and let his tongue explore every bit of me. Our mustaches brushed together and the fabric of our suits strained against our writhing, generating ecstasy in friction. We let that tension build as we embraced, touching every inch of each others bodies—the bald head; thick, supple neck; soft flabby pecs under the silky suiting; bulging balls thinly veiled under wool; even the loafers he wore with their intricate tassels.

Every touch was erotic and I was ready to explode as he began to unzip my trousers. He pulled away to look at me, eye to comforting eye, as he giddily whispered “It’s time to become a Friedman.” His focus shifted back to my crotch. He wrestled my engorged member from beneath my gut and through the fly of my white briefs. Once it was free, he toyed with it, stroking it gently with his hand before running the tip through his mustache. He gave it a brief lick before dropping it. I was the hardest I’d ever been when he picked up the loafer and brought it to my face again. I began to breathe deeply, taking the sweet leather scent through my whole body. I looked into the shoe and saw the name once again: “Friedman.”

Through his excitement, he asked me “What name do you see?” “Friedman,” I moaned. “Whose name is that?” He continued. “Yours.”

“And who am I?” “My father,” I declared.

“Good, Son. You will show me momentarily,” Arthur stated. I heard him pick up the other loafer and felt him brush my member with the tassels. “When I count to three, you will seal yourself as a part of the family permanently. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Father,” I exhaled.

“Good boy. Now breathe in.”

I inhaled the leather, once again causing my cock to throb.

He began, “ONE... Who am I?”

“My father,” I moaned, feeling the upper of the loafer on my tip.

“TWO... What is my name?”

“Friedman,” I said with more intensity, my dick sliding over the tongue.

“Then what is your name?” He slid my cock down into the loafer, the soft insole comforting my manhood.

“Friedman!” I declared, ready to explode.

“Good boy... THREE! Cum, my son!” He boomed, shoving one loafer fully up to my nose and sheathing my cock to the base with the other.

I moaned a primal moan, spilling shot upon shot of my seed into the expensive shoe. In the mirror, I could see my balls pulsing from the volume of cum expelled. Pump after pump, deep breathe after deep leather-filled breath, I orgasmed with rapturous tingling within every cell of my body.

My father moved the loafer back and forth along my shaft, affirming me along the way: “Yes, my son. You’re a Friedman now. Let all of your old life drain from you.” Slowly, the torrents of cum subsided and I began to catch my breath.

Arthur lowered the shoes to the ground, looked at me with a tear in his eye and said gladly, “Welcome to the family, Son!” With that, he offered me the dry shoe and I slid my first foot into it, the silky socks providing a smooth glide. He then held out the second shoe, the interior of

which was coated with cum. Without reservation, I slid my foot in—a lubricated and sensual entry. As my heel popped in, I knew it to my core. I was a Friedman.

“Thank you, Father,” I said excitedly.

“No, Son. Thank you for continuing the family line. Would you like to return home now?” He asked calmly.

I stood up proudly, my foot soaking in my shoe. I tucked my manhood back in and adjusted my clothes. Eyeing myself up and down—bald head, mustache, neck rolls, girth, and fine shoes—I was a Friedman, the spitting image of my father. “Yes, Father,” I replied. “Let’s go together.”

When I spoke those words, Arthur’s proud grin faded to darkness and the ceiling fan of my room came into view. I struggled to lift myself up and became excited by the prospect that it had all been real. I rose to my feet, feeling the additional weight on my frame and walking to the mirror. I took a deep satisfying look into it and saw the spitting image of my father. Everything in the dream had happened. I was shorter, fatter, bald, mustached, and fully suited.

I began to hyperventilate; I was ecstatic; I was horny; I was worried. If all of it happened, what would others say? It was at that thought that I heard my father’s voice say to me “It’s okay, Son. Fear isn’t becoming of a Friedman, and I am here for you.” I was immediately calmed. I took a deep breath, catching a hint of Royal Muske, and smiled. I wanted this.

“Now look at your cufflinks, Son,” I heard. I turned the wrist outside of the grey jacket and saw engraved on the cuff “MAF” “Michael Arthur Friedman,” I announced. “My boy!” I heard Arthur say, causing my cock to twitch once again. “And proud of it!” I smiled, seeing Arthur’s eyes in my reflection.

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Can i ask for hcs with kuzuryuu? (Whatever fits you)

You know, there's a strong, lovely community of Kuzuryuu-lovers out there who aren't getting any horny content. As a DILF-afficianado, it is my duty—no, my privilege—to elevate our handsome 40ish+ men.

So, without further ado, allow me to present:

NSFW ALPHABET: KUZURYUU KEIICHI EDITION

‼️Warning: This contains explicit content. 18+ only. Minors DNI.‼️

Note: I personally headcanon Kuzuryuu as straight. Not saying he wouldn't try something if he met the right man, but I think he prefers women.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He has to shower after a sexual encounter. Has to. He hates the feeling of sweat and body fluids on his skin once the moment is gone. He doesn't the long, and once he's done, he likes to come back to bed and talk to his partner. Never about anything important, just peaceful, mundane things.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kuzuryuu has a nice back. I think he's a swimmer, going to the gym early in the morning and getting in a few laps before he starts his day. He catches glimpses of himself in the mirror after a shower and—yeah, even he has to admit, those shoulders are looking good.

He likes his partners soft. Belly, hips, thighs; he wants to grab a handful and squeeze. He likes a curvy woman and he's not afraid to admit it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Hates it. As mentioned in the "A" portion, he doesn't like having body fluids on him, so he's not horribly keen on experimenting with cum play. That being said, if his partner asks him to cum on them, he's willing to give it a try—but he has a towel nearby to clean you up the moment you're done.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has, occasionally, frequented a BDSM club. He likes to watch.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Average level of experience. He's had lovers in the past, both casual and serious relationships, and is comfortable with his ability to satisfy his partner.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Woman on top. Ride this man into the sunset, he loves it. Not only does he get to see everything his partner is doing, but he can put his hands everywhere.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's definitely on the more serious side! He doesn't view sex as a "job", but when he's with someone, he's got a job to do and intends to do it right. But afterwards, during the pillow talk section of the evening, he likes to lightly tease his partner and make subtle little jokes in an attempt to get them embarrassed—he thinks it's cute.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think he's a little less hairy or has finer hair, so he doesn't need to groom as much. He still keeps up with it, though.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Mister Classic Romance, coming through! He gets his partner flowers. He takes them to dinner. Invites them back to his place for a nightcap and turns on the smooth jazz.

And while he's getting busy, he's passionate. Open-mouth kisses to every part of his lover's body. He likes to take his time undressing someone, the savoring every new swath of exposed skin. Clear your calendar for the rest of the night if you're spending it with this guy; he's gonna take a while, and you're going to love every second.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jerks off in the shower. Easy cleanup, minimal mess, and he's gotta let the conditioner in his hair sit for a few minutes, so...why not?

If he's at the BDSM club (see "D"), it's a little different. They've got private booths for that kind of thing, and he always uses a condom. Anything else would make him feel gross.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism, praise kink (giving), restraints (has a selection of neckties he's willing to sacrifice to tie someone up). He's been pegged and he likes it. He likes to be dominated sometimes. He also doesn't like to admit it, but if someone calls him "daddy" he.........doesn't hate it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His home, his bed. He likes being in his own space where he can relax and not worry about hotel check-out times or unwashed bedding.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

A hand on his thigh. A whisper in his ear. A sultry look from across the room. It's not about what they're doing, but what they could be doing with him that gets him hot and bothered.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything having to do with bodily fluids—blood, cum, spit, etc. He also doesn't like massage oil. Being messy takes him out of the moment.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He is more than happy to give head, but he loves receiving. He likes getting a blow job as much as he likes traditional, penetrative sex. And although he leaves it entirely up to his partner, bonus points if they swallow.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual all the way! If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right ;)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not his favorite. It's messy and awkward and he prefers to enjoy his partner's body to the fullest.

But, that being said, he does like it if his partner comes on strong and and aggressive the second he walks in the door from a long day at work.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's down to experiment, but he needs time to get used to the idea. He likes to do his research, especially if the idea is outside of his comfort zone. He is also very insistent about proper BDSM etiquette; the safeword is "safeword" and he takes it very seriously.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's a one-and-done, but that one can last a very long time. He has excellent stamina and a laser-focus, which means he can go for over an hour if his partner is up for it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Other than restraints, not really. He sometimes uses a set of plugs to prep for a pegging session, but that's more for safety and comfort than personal pleasure.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Before sex, during the seduction phase? He likes to tease a little bit, usually slipping in a few innuendo to a conversation. After sex, he likes to gently and playfully tease his partner because he thinks it's cute when they get shy.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's a little on the quiet side, but he's certainly not silent. He pants, he sighs, and if his partner does something he really likes, he'll growl.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He likes sexting. He won't send nudes, but he will send big, detailed paragraphs filled to the brim with saucy, sexy material. He could have a modest career as an erotic author if he wanted to.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's got a third nipple. It looks like a little mole or a birthmark, but it's actually a nipple. And it's a little sensitive.

Beyond that, he looks how you'd expect; lean, maybe a teeny-tiny bit of a dad bod. Dick size is a little longer than average with a little less girth, but still plenty satisfying.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not SUPER high. Since sex is such an event with him, he doesn't need it as often. If he goes a few weeks without, it's no big deal for him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

This man is an insomniac, so not quickly at all. But he will pretend to be asleep so his partner feels comfortable if they want to nod off.

#spicy boy #18+ #writings and such #kuzuryuu keiichi #alice in borderland #alice in borderland netflix #aib dilfs are an endangered species we need to protect them and love them

[goldtowhite]

nathan hong // character study

PART ONE: STATISTICS. 

basic information:

FULL NAME: nathan hong

NICKNAME(S):  nate

AGE:  26

DATE OF BIRTH: october 2nd, 1997

PLACE OF BIRTH: los angeles, ca

GENDER: cismale

PRONOUNS: he/him

ORIENTATION: bisexual

LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, korean

NEIGHBOURHOOD: downtown los angeles

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: downtown lofts, he lives alone

family ties:

MOTHER: hong jiyoo

FATHER: hong seungmin

SIBLINGS: none

SPOUSE / PARTNER: none

CHILDREN: none

PETS: a cat named mandu

occupational information:

OCCUPATION: social media manager at sonic magazine

physical appearance:

FACE CLAIM: kim mingyu

HAIR COLOR: black

EYE COLOR: brown

HEIGHT: 6'2"

BUILD: very athletic, very muscular

TATTOOS: none

PIERCINGS: ears

CLOTHING STYLE: streetwear when casual, nice business attire when working

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: his teeth have a sort of fangs vibe to them that make his smile really endearing

personality:

MBTI: ENFJ

ELEMENT: air

WESTERN ZODIAC: libra

CHINESE ZODIAC: ox

POSITIVE TRAITS: adaptable, amiable, courteous

NEGATIVE TRAITS: airy, enigmatic, indulgent

HOBBIES: going to the gym, running, bike riding, surfing, cooking, sketching

wanted connections:

CONNECTION TYPE: an ex: one where nate was definitely in the wrong. he's not very communicative with feelings, not in a malicious way, just in a clueless way. nate definitely like... assumed things were casual and it was not for the other muse and he just kind of kept doing his own thing and they broke up with some pretty bad blood.

CONNECTION TYPE: pleaseeeeeeee gimme a partner in crime and i need it to be like... they are yes men to each other. like they lowkey kind of enable each other for the worse sometimes.

PART TWO: QUESTIONNAIRE. 

this part of the questionnaire is intended to be filled out in character just like your muse is being interviewed by someone at sonic magazine for example. feel free to add as much or as little detail as you like. if you find there is a question that doesn’t apply to your muse for whatever reason within your category feel free to omit the question or come up with your own that you think is relevant. this section is designed to replace a character bio, but you can still add extra information to your intro as you wish. 

IF YOUR MUSE IS IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY (NON MUSICIAN):

why don’t you start at the beginning and tell us who you are? nathan hong, first generation korean american. my parents moved here from korea about a decade before i was born to open a restaurant and start a new life. i worked there as soon as i legally could officially, unofficially i always helped. it's how i learned how to cook and all that, and i grew up speaking both korean and english, so i feel a pretty strong connection to both parts of me. the restaurant isn't something i plan to inherit in a meaningful way but i'll always keep it in the family.

what is your place in this massive industry? i went into being a social media manager simply because i feel really comfortable with social media. i've always run the socials for the family business and i found it pretty easy to get into doing that for other fields.

life in los angeles can be pretty intense, do you love it or hate it? i love it, but it's all i've ever known. when we visit seoul, i feel just as at home there. i'm not sure i'm the type who could ever give up city life, i think i'd get too bored. i'm not much of a homebody really.

what inspires you to show up for the musicians you work for or collaborate with? i just like knowing i can contribute to the industry in any way, and being bilingual i can also help out when we have artists who might not be fluent in english coming from korea to work with us. i guess i'm a bit of an unofficial translator as well, i wouldn't say my job keeps me so busy that i can't help elsewhere.

what are some of your favourite genres of music? i'm a hoe for top 40 pop forever, i also love a lot of korean music. i like pop punk, rock, really anything. country's never really done it for me but there are some exceptions.

what is the first record you ever bought? for myself? seo taji and boys self titled debut. it came out a few years before i was born but the first trip to korea i can remember, i found it in a thrift store and spent my pocket money on it.

what’s next for you? i feel pretty good about where i'm at right now, but i've been thinking about expanding my comfort in running social media accounts, like maybe taking on individual clients, or reaching out to gyms or other restaurants. my parents say i'm not ambitious enough but i think i'm chilling.

#nathan: about #intro.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Valentine's Day

"I thought you guys said you weren't doing anything for Valentine's?" Sam asks, the two of them walking through a busy department store filled with other men picking out last minute gifts for their significant other.

"We're not," Bucky corrects, carefully walking through each section of the store to find the perfect gift for you. One that showed you how much he loved you, how much he appreciated you. "I'm doing something."

"Isn't that cheating?" Sam questions, following right on Bucky's heels.

Bucky's back straightens, tearing his gaze away from some gaudy jewelry display to look at Sam. "Cheating? How's that cheating?"

"Well, she's under the impression that you two aren't doing anything. But you're doing something anyway, knowing that she won't do anything because you two agreed that you wouldn't be doing anything."

"I won't lie to you, I only understood about half of what you said."

"Why not just tell her that you want to do something?" Sam asks, the two of them continuing their walk through the crowded store.

"Because we're both just coming off about a month's worth of exhausting, separate missions. We just wanted a quiet night in, so I'm just buying a nice gift for my girl- that's it. And maybe surprising her with some flowers. Maybe dinner."

"And what if she wants to do something nice for you?"

Bucky smirks a little. "She does nice things for me all the time."

"Gross," Sam mock-gags. 

"You need to get your mind out of the gutter. I meant she makes me happy, she takes care of me," Bucky casually explains, walking out of the store onto the crowded New York street.

"Oh...well that's nice."

"The other stuff too," Bucky quips, once again smirking at Sam. "But I meant the whole happy thing."

"Again...gross," Sam repeats. "Anyway, since you're not following the rules, what are you getting her?"

"I don't know yet. That's why you're here."

"Okay, but shouldn't this be something that comes from you?"

"Yes, but I need a second opinion. I don't want to get her anything stupid."

"Coming from you? It'll always be stupid," Sam taunts, to which Bucky rolls his eyes and starts to walk away. "Okay, okay, I'll help. It's not like she's hard to shop for. I've never met anyone easier to please."

And then hours pass, the sun's beginning to set the two of men still walking through the streets of New York completely empty-handed.

"Come on, Bucky! I'm hungry," Sam whines for the dozenth time.

"I bought you a slice like an hour ago!"

"But I'm hungry again."

Bucky's about to give up, between his all day search and Sam's now-incessant whining, he's just about had it. That's when the glint of something in a store window catches his eye. He stop walking, turning away from Sam who's still rambling. And it's perfect. Absolutely stunning, and it reminds him of you, completely and unequivocally.  

"Sam," Bucky calls.

"What?"

"Come look."

Sam walks over to the window, leaning in to look at whatever Bucky's pointing at. "Oh, a heart shaped locket, how original!"

"Not that one, the one next to it," Bucky points.

"Oh damn, that's actually kinda perfect. It's a good thing I found it," Sam states, slapping his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"What?" Bucky barks, jerking his shoulder out of Sam's grip. "I found it!"

"Did you though?" Sam wryly questions.

"Yes! You were too busy complaining about how hungry you were," Bucky badgered, opening the door to walk into the little antique shop. Sam slips in through the door before Bucky walks in, smirking at Bucky as he inadvertently holds the door open for Sam. 

"Doll, I've got a surprise! I don't want you to make a big deal or any-" Bucky announces, walking through the doorway, his words lost as he rounds the corner to the dining room where you've got a whole set-up waiting for Bucky. The table's all set, candles are lit, some music quietly playing in the background.

"Surprise!" you smile at the speechless man.

He gasps, "You went rogue!"

"What?"

"We weren't supposed to do anything!"

"Says the man carrying an arm full of gifts!" you remark, gesturing to the bouquet of sunflowers and roses and the small gift bag that Bucky is carrying in his arms. "We said we weren't getting each other anything either."

"I know, but I just wanted to surprise you," he remarks, placing the gift and flowers on the table.

"I wanted to surprise you too!"

"Doll," he whines, warms winding around your waist to pull you closer to him. "I wanted to do something nice for you. Wine and dine- that kind of thing."

"Well, I wanted to do something nice for you," you smile, resting your hands on Bucky's chest.

"You're always taking care of me. I wanted to do that for a change."

"You help me as much as I help you," you gently challenge. "I cook, you clean. I do the grocery shopping, you do the laundry. We take care of each other."

"But you make this apartment feel like home."

"Aww...I love it when you say corny things like that."

"I know," he smirks, pecking your lips. "That's why I do it."

"Come on," you laugh, taking his hand and guiding him to the dinner table. "I made dinner."

"Smells good."

"I asked Steve what some of your favorites were, but I don't want to get your hopes up, it might not be exactly the same."

"I'm sure it'll be even better."

"Thank you for the flowers, by the way," you say, placing a variety of Bucky's favorites from the 40's, or at least a modern variation of his old favorites.

"This looks amazing," he comments, eyeing the entire spread on the table, knowing that this must have taken you all day. "I can't believe you did all this."

You gently squeeze his cheeks, "Anything to put a smile on that face."

"That smile only exists for you."

"Stop it, you're going to make me swoon."

"Oh, that's the plan," he teases, pulling you into his lap. 

After dinner, you both are contentedly full, throughly enjoying being in each other's company. It'd been almost a month since the two of you had the chance to share a meal together, let alone an entire evening, so you were both relishing in this brief, peaceful pause from your normally hectic lives.

"Alright," Bucky announces, grabbing the small gift bag and handing it to you. "Now, it's my turn."

You haven't even opened the gift and already your ear-to-ear smile made the entire day worth the trouble. You maintain eye contact as you remove the tissue paper and pluck the small box from the bag. You carefully open the small box, hyperaware of the way Bucky's watching you.

Inside the velvet box, is a circular locket with an simple sunflower engraved on the front. "It's beautiful," you wistfully whisper.

"Open it," he gently urges. You chuckle, carefully opening it to reveal a small picture of you and Bucky, you're not sure where he even got this picture from, but it is immediately one of your favorites. You're pressing a kiss to Bucky's cheek, his nose playfully scrunched and eyes squeezed shut. It's one of those quick, fleeting moments that perfectly encapsulates your beautiful relationship.

"I love it," you marvel. "It's perfect."

"Just like my girl."

You animatedly clutch your chest. "I don't think my heart can take much more of your charm."

"Imagine how I feel? I'm only appreciating what you do for me every single day."

After he puts the locket on you, he pulls you up from your chair. Without any effort, he moves the coffee table, clearing more room in the center of the living room. You laugh as he scurries to flip the record. He pulls you to the living room, his hands resting on your hips as he sways you to the beat of the music.

"I missed you," he whispers into your hair.

"I'm right here."

"I know," he smiles, gently spinning you around. "Finally."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series Masterlist

#grumpy sunshine #grumpy x sunshine #grumpy sunshine trope #writers on tumblr #ao3 #bucky barnes #reader insert #theres an entire series on ao3 #oneshot #bucky x y/n #valentines day #i initially wrote it for valentines day #hehe oops #oops #tooth rotting fluff #x reader #anonymityisfunwriter #anonymityisfun #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x Female Reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #bucky fic

[endobiologist]

Trans Guy Tips #5; Dressing Good

Today, we're going to talk about basic fashion, and some things trans guys specifically need to know when buying a new wardrobe.

Some of these rules can always be broken, it's your body and your choice what to put on it!

However, this is a guide for passing better, so feminine and androgynous looks will not be covered here, only the traditional masculine. I will most likely make a guide out on dressing that way later.

1. Match colors, but don't be afraid to throw in some accent detail colors! Usually when you think of fashion, you think of making everything match, however some things will go better with some contrast rather than plainly matching!

As long as it still has some similarity, it doesn't have to be the same.

The most basic rule you need to learn dressing as a man, is that you wear your belt to your shoes.

If your belt is brown, so should your shoes be.

If your belt is black, they should be black.

Usually most fashion rules can be broken, but this one seems to be very important, as it can throw off the whole appearance of an outfit to have mismatching shoes and belt.

2. Use what I call the finger trick.

When selecting a shirt, specifically a dress shirt, put your fingers in the collar between your neck and the collar.

If you can comfortably fit two or even maybe barely three fingers in there, then that's a perfect fit shirt around your neck.

If you can fit four or more fingers, it's loose and will make you look baggy and overweight.

If you can fit only one, or feel any pressure on your throat, you need a looser shirt because it's too tight.

3. Somewhat similar, but when buying pants, this may be the most important thing of all.

If you get the right set of pants, it can disguise even the biggest of curves.

You want to get what's known as a straight-leg jean pant, you can make it a cargo pant if you wish, either one looks very masculine and good.

I would usually recommend bootcut pants if you wear longer shoes, like boots, or combat boots, or anything you need to tuck the jeans into.

Always get pants that don't feel constricting, and always get them where they fit comfortably with a belt, but don't need a belt due to fitting good already.

But straight-leg type is so important to go for, it's one of the things that makes a boxy figure like a cis man's.

4. I'm not sure if this is obvious or may come as a surprise to some people, but even if you like dressing femininely, if you wish to pass, I would suggest always shopping in the men's section.

They have shirts and pants and everything else under the sun that shaped specifically for men's bodies, making yours look even more like a cis man's, which is very gender affirming. Also women's jeans are made to support the butt and make you look feminine and curvy, while men's are designed to be straight, boxy, and comfortable, usually with deep pockets too!

5. Similar to the matching rule before, you can match a busy pattern shirt with a plain pair of pants, or busy pattern and pants with a plain shirt. However if you put too many busy patterns, or too much plainness, either way makes you look not as good.

Try to balance the detail with the simplicity.

6. Overall the most masculine thing you can wear especially pre-t, is either a formal or casual suit.

You can even wear just a dress shirt with a tie or bow tie, with some dress shoes and pants, and you're good!

This just generally makes you look super masculine and it's hard to mistake.

7. if you're like me, where you like to dress flamboyantly, but you're also super dysphoric about it, wait until you get testosterone therapy.

If you end up having it and you start seeing positive effects before dressing femininely, it's great!

I did this and now I feel totally comfortable with it, as no one ever misunderstands me even if I wear the most feminine things ever.

So if you're going on t, feel free to dress more extravagantly during because you will pass even so!

8. Another way to check shirts that are long sleeved, particularly dress shirts, is to tuck it in like usual, and then lift up your arms really high like you're reaching for something.

If it untucks or lifts the fabric in an unflattering way where your armpits look huge, it's cut wrong and is not something you should buy.

9. This may be surprising to some, but yes, cis men will wear feminine designs on masculine outfits.

I can't count the number of times I've seen men wearing bright pink suits. Other times there's been crop tops, painted nails, hair done, everything.

So if you really like that button up with the flowers on it, but are feeling hesitant due to the feeling that people might judge you, don't worry!

Maybe some will, but a lot of people wear unique clothing, and no one will be as bad as what your thoughts say to you.

10. I have somewhat of a warning, as good and fun they are, t-shirts can be very revealing when it comes to showing your chest, even through your binder! Something about them isn't cut quite right, even if they come from the manliest man's site or store.

If you still wish to wear t-shirts like I do, I would recommend getting a short-sleeved or long-sleeved Dickies button up jacket/shirt that you wear open over it. Or any jacket thing, really. This covers your chest completely and negates that effect.

11. This is sort of more hygiene base but still has to do with getting dressed. Always use men's soap, and men's cologne, and men's essential oils, and men's lotion, if you have them.

Also use some aftershave, it's helpful if it has lotion mixed in and moisturizes as well.

You can even shave even if you're pre-t, due to it making a clean feeling due to there being no feminine peach fuzz on it. This can help support dysphoria relief, as well because it feels like you're shaving a beard, at least until it comes in.

When your moustache and beard do come in from testosterone, if you take it, make sure to oil it lightly with natural oils like argan oil or coconut oil, the stimulates hair growth and follicle health.

And I would recommend shaving just once as it starts developing, so it develops thicker, stronger, and more handsome.

12. If you're planning on going on t, buy at least some of your clothing a size or a few sizes up, or getting a duplicate that's larger.

You will grow, so if you buy all your clothing in a smaller size, you'll probably end up unable to use any of it.

13. Always position your belt buckle in the center of your stomach, the way you can tell if it's positioned right is if it lines up with the buttons of your button up perfectly.

14. When wearing a suit try to always keep the bottomless button unbuttoned. That button isn't actually there to be used, it's meant to be unbuttoned and it makes it look so much better.

The reason it looks so much better is because it makes it flattering and thinning. If you button all the buttons, it will make you look heavy due to it tightening around your waist and stomach.

15. You should always have at least two pairs of dress shoes. one pair that's black, and one pair that's brown. Same with belts. It's also recommended for summer that you keep one pair of masculine flip flops or sandals or sneakers around.

16. This is more of a suggestion than anything, however it's manly as fuck, and people love it.

If you carry a work knife, a pocket watch, a small portable multitool, and a handkerchief.

Possibly even a pen and small notepad with you at all times.

This may seem odd at first, but it's what men used to do constantly in the older days.

These items can come in very useful. A work knife can open packages, open letters, be used in place of scissors occasionally, and even used to defend yourself and others.

A pocket watch is just fancy and shows you're always trying to be on time.

A multi-tool shows you're ready for any task, and it can be a lifesaver in many situations!

Meanwhile a handkerchief is important, because if you ever come across someone crying, or someone wounded, you can lend them or give them your handkerchief, which is a very gentlemanly thing to do, and it can help you pass better, as well as it just being a kind thing to do for someone.

The pen and small notepad is always good to carry on you regardless of any gender, due to you needing to write things down often.

17. Ironically, although socks with sandals seems to be a fashion 'no-no' to most people, I quite like them, and it seems like I pass better with them.

Men tend to wear those slip-on flip flop things, and when you wear socks with it it makes you look very masculine, even if it may look silly to some.

Personally I like it a lot.

18. If you do wish to do makeup & nails, I would suggest doing it as black and gothic as possible, as that's the most common style guys do it as, and if you do it in a certain way, it can come out looking way masculine.

And that concludes my fifth part of this Trans Guy Tips series!

Thank you for reading, and I hope anything I said helped!

#trans man #trans boy #transguy #trans male #transmasculine #ftm trans #ftm #ftm guide #ftm tips #transgender #trans #trans guy tips #trans guy guide #transgender tips #trans tips #lgbtqa #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #trans ftm #transgender guide #trans guide #fashion #lgbt fashion #trans rights

[cyborg-franky]

Happy Unbirthday

Here is my little something for one of my dearest and most lovely of friends @childofblackmaria happy birthday darling, you only live just over there so maybe one day we will toast your birthday in person <3 I hope you had a good day, you are such a hard worker, let me give you a little something <3

Rayleigh X GN Reader SFW Wordcount: 617

The old man was sneaky, sly, he wasn’t just two steps ahead of everyone he was somewhere in the distance waving back at everyone else. You kept watching him for signs he was planning something, knowing your birthday was in a few days and he wanted to treat you. Narrowing your eyes at your partner as he let out a laugh on the phone with someone.

Planning? Was that him talking to that little shit Roger? They always schemed together, one year for your birthday the two men had taken you to a strip club where a very large man in a lacy pink lingerie and matching nipple tassels danced for you, ah yes you remember his name ‘Kaido’

You watched as he set down the phone and turned to you with a grin, you felt your brow lifting in question as Rayleigh walked around the table to stand behind you, arms wrapping around your neck, kissing the side of your head. As much as you wanted to grab him, shake him and demand why he was acting so suspect you just leaned into his touches.

“Want to go to dinner tonight?” He suggested casually and you shrugged.

“I guess so, is this your way of telling me you forgot to take anything out of the freezer again?” The older man’s chuckle was enough of an answer.

--

Getting dressed up in an outfit you’d been looking forward to wearing but had yet to have the chance you admired yourself in the mirror, flipping your hair back and brushing some strands out the way. You saw Rayleigh brush the waves of silver hair and couldn’t help but watch, the man was handsome, even more so in the black suit he wore, the purple accents from his shirt making it pop.

“Ready love?” He asked and you nodded.

It had been too long since you’d managed to escape for a night out with him, both of you busy people with your jobs, social lives and you were a popular writer who was always in high demand.

The car ride was pleasant, he told you what he’d been on the phone about, Roger’s dumbass kid Ace got into trouble again, something about mooning a police officer while out with his friends, you snorted and rolled your eyes. Seemed Rogers son was more like his father then he wanted to admit.

Pulling up to the fancy restaurant Rayleigh held your hand, leading the way, you were thinking of all the nice food and drink you wanted to eat, the week had been stressful and you deserved a nice night out with your handsome man.

Turning the corner where there was a private section you were about to say something to your partner then there was a shout of “SURPRISE!”you stared at the group of people, all your friends, including joint ones stood around in nice clothes, holding glasses and bottles of booze to toast you.

“Oh no”

“What?” Rayleigh said with a chuckle pulling you close to his side as you gave him a look.

“You said you didn’t handle birthday gifts well so this is just a surprise party that happens to be the day before your birthday” Rayleigh’s grin grew as you laughed “Your such a sly old fox..”

The evening went well, everyone showering you with love and affection, talking, laughing and then the curtains separating your section from the rest of the restaurant opened, a large cake was wheeled in and your eyes opened wide as Roger started playing music from his phone.

The cake looked like it was moving, and you stared at Rayleigh, look of glee on your face as you whispered “Kaido”

#for my love #lale <3 #one piece x you #one piece reader insert #one piece x reader #sfw #rayleigh x reader #baby girl kaido

[wanderinginksplot]

Hi! Coul you do a Hunter x Jedi FemReader fluff. Myybe They are reunited after a long time and they hang out in secret.

Hey! It took a few days, but here’s where this prompt took me:

Hunter + Jedi F!Reader + Fluff

“Steady!”

“Watch the far side - it’s tipping!”

“We need another few troopers over here to help balance it!”

“It’s too heavy!”

“Stop, men,” you ordered, your calm voice cutting through the clamor with ease. “Let me get it.”

Lifting the heavy crate with the Force was simple, one of the first things you had learned to do in the Temple. From there, transporting it to the correct section of the hangar wasn’t any more difficult, and you accomplished the task with ease.

“Still showing off, General?” a rough voice asked from just behind your ear.

You turned around, already smiling at the familiar face. “Sergeant Hunter,” you greeted. “I had no idea you were on-planet.”

He shrugged, the movement flowing with grace that would have made even a Jedi jealous. “We picked up a new member for the Batch. We needed to have him cleared on Coruscant before we could risk taking him into action.”

“And?” you asked, already thinking about how you could help. Force-healing wasn’t your strong suit, but you could pull a few strings to get the right padawan to the GAR headquarters. If Hunter needed something, you would do everything in your power to get it for him. He had saved your life often enough to deserve that dedication from you.

“And he’ll be fine,” Hunter reassured you. Gesturing to the flurry of men working to unload your gunships - each one painted with a flattering caricature of your profile with a lightsaber held out in front of you - he asked, “How did the mission go?”

You shrugged. “It went as well as can be expected, I suppose.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means- Well, it…” you sighed. “This war never seems to have a true victory. There are always losses, and those sacrifices don’t always make sense given what little is accomplished in return.”

Hunter raised an eyebrow. “That’s what we’re made for. Sacrificing.”

You hated hearing that, no matter how often it had been repeated by the Kaminoans, the GAR, and the Jedi Council. These men weren’t a product and their lives weren’t something they should expect to lose simply because they had been created rather than born. They had names and personalities, painted their armor with patterns in your favorite color, and some troopers even asked for permission to use your handprint in their designs. Hunter’s casual defense of what you saw as the fatal flaw of the Jedi Order made your stomach lurch and your spirits drop.

“So they keep telling me,” you agreed, mustering a smile for Hunter. “It was a pleasure seeing you, Sergeant. It has been far too long.”

"Wait," Hunter called and you paused in turning away. "What did I say?"

His earnest question only served to make you feel worse. "Nothing, Hunter. The problem seems to be with me. I just need some time away from the war, the loss."

Hunter's eyes cut a neat contrast against the darkness of his tattoo. "I can't help much, but how about some time spent with an old friend?"

"I have to go make my report to the Council," you hedged.

"After that, then," Hunter suggested. "I'm not gonna twist your arm about it, but you're the one who said it's been too long since we saw each other."

You gave a small smile at that. "That's true. Meet me at Dex's Diner tonight?"

"Comm me when you're leaving the Temple," Hunter instructed, giving a respectful nod as the two of you parted. 

As soon as you had finished with your report and washed the grime of a long mission from your skin, you contacted Hunter and started your journey to Dex’s Diner. The small restaurant had been a Coruscant staple for years, but it had recently seen a huge surge in business. Not only did Dex make fantastic food, but he served meals to anyone who wanted to buy them. The Besalisk had a firm open-door policy, especially where clone troopers were concerned. Off-duty clone troopers were a common sight in the diner, laughing and mingling with Coruscanti civilians.

Hunter was already inside, having secured a booth tucked away in the corner. While clone troopers were far from rare at Dex’s Diner, Jedi were seen less often, especially since the war had begun.

Still, you slid into the booth across from Hunter and gave your usual order to the serving droid. Surreptitiously, you input your credit information as well, paying for the entire meal before it had the chance to deliver a total.

“What is that smile?” Hunter asked, offering one of his own.

“Nothing,” you said, waving off his question. “So, what have you and Clone Force 99 been up to since I saw you last?”

Hunter blew out a breath. “It’s been - what? A year since we saw you?”

“Yes, nearly that,” you agreed, trying to keep the edge of sadness from your voice. Early in the war, you had been on a series of missions with the Bad Batch and had planned to keep working with them, but a member of the Jedi Council had sensed your attachment when you returned planetside. You had been reassigned and ordered to cut ties with the enhanced troopers before the attachment grew stronger.

You had reluctantly done as you were told, but saying goodbye to Clone Force 99 had been difficult. In retrospect, that was likely a good sign that you were indeed getting attached to these troopers. However, that hadn’t stopped you from meeting Hunter today, the first time you had ran into him since following that order. It was with a surge of guilt that you realized you had taken care not to let any other occupants of the Temple see you leave. You hadn’t wanted them to ask where you were going…

“Hey,” Hunter said sharply, drawing your attention back to him. “Where did you go?”

“Nowhere in particular,” you excused yourself. “I’m sorry, I missed what you said.”

“I didn’t say anything,” Hunter told you. “I just sat here and watched you get lost in your own head. Stay out of there. After all, I don’t get to see you every day.”

“Fair enough,” you conceded. “How have things been going for you out there?”

Hunter shrugged. “Pretty well. We haven’t found another Jedi who works with us as well as you did, but the few we’ve been assigned to have been competent.”

From Hunter, that was high praise indeed. “And who have you been assigned to?”

“Well…” he mused, “We did a few missions with General Unduli and you know we usually work with Commander Cody and General Kenobi. We did just finish a mission with General Skywalker, though.”

“And how did that go?” you asked, smiling at the thought of the GAR’s most unorthodox squad working with the Jedi Order’s most unorthodox Knight.

Hunter rolled his eyes dramatically and launched into the story of rescuing one of Skywalker’s troopers who had been captured by the Separatists. It was horrifying to think of one of the Republic’s soldiers in enemy captivity for so long, but Hunter nearly had your sides splitting when he talked about Captain Rex brawling with Crosshair, Tech leaping onto the back of some winged creature, and Wrecker demolishing an entire Separatist fleet.

“I bet Wrecker was thrilled!” you said to the last point, still laughing.

“He was, of course,” Hunter agreed, sending a soft smile your way. “He’ll forever be looking for ways to top that mission, so I guess I have Skywalker to thank for that.”

“Oh, I needed this,” you sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye.

“Want to talk about it?” Hunter asked. “I get the feeling you haven’t been happy about much lately.”

“Oh-” you stammered, his insight stunning you for a moment. “I don’t know if there’s any particular reason…” 

“If you had to think of one, then,” Hunter suggested. 

You blew out a thoughtful breath, trying to gather a year’s worth of abstract thoughts and quickly stifled smiles into a cohesive summary. “It’s… hm. It doesn’t feel… right, to laugh and joke when soldiers like you and your brothers are working so hard and so seriously to win battles. It seems- seems almost like ignoring their sacrifices. People are dying every moment, and being happy feels… frivolous, somehow?”

“You aren’t sacrificing people, if it makes you feel any better,” Hunter told you consolingly. “Just clones.”

You had stood from the table before you knew what had happened. Hunter stared up at you in surprise, a rare expression from a man whose senses allowed him to predict behaviors so well. 

“I don’t think this meeting was a good idea,” you told him bluntly. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait-” Hunter started, trying to rise from the table, but he was interrupted by the arrival of the serving droid. The droid, oblivious to things such as tense silences, began busily unloading its tray of food onto the table, its position trapping Hunter in his seat.

You watched in silence as the table was set to the precise specifications that the droid had been programmed to deliver. Hunter, avoiding your gaze, fiddled with his silverware, ruining the droid's perfect symmetry with only a touch.

When the droid had finished and rolled away, Hunter looked up at you, confusion and guilt mingling on his face. He gestured to your plate. "Please?"

You eased back into the seat after a moment of thought. Hunter couldn't know why you were upset if you didn't give him the benefit of an explanation.

To give yourself a moment of thought, you unfolded your napkin and spread it across your lap. When you were done, you made direct and unblinking eye contact with Hunter. "It hurts me when you talk about the troopers like their lives have less meaning. Like they deserve nothing more than death to achieve a goal."

"That's what we were told all our lives," Hunter countered carefully. "At least the regs were told they could die in sacrifice for the Republic. We were told that we deserved to die because we were different."

The disgust and self-loathing in Hunter's last word made you reach out and cover his hand with yours. You made no effort to influence him - you respected him far too much for that - but you tried to convey your sympathy with a touch.

"And now you know that isn't true in the slightest," you reminded him. "I can't change a moment of your past, but we can all impact our shared present to create the future we deserve."

Hunter's warm fingers flexed under yours as he flipped his hand over to weave your fingers together. 

"That's why you're the Jedi we keep asking to be assigned to," he said with a fond smile. "You don't see us for what we can do for you, for the Republic. You just see us."

You raised your eyebrows at that, your heart feeling lighter than it had since the early days of the war. "As if the Bad Batch could be tied to a single Jedi…"

"For you?" Hunter pretended to think about it. "I think we could give it a try."

With a shared smile, the two of you turned your attention to the food you had ordered. Neither of you commented on your hands, still intertwined on the table between you.

---

A/N - I originally had a different ending in mind, but I liked this one too much to change it. I’ll leave it up to you to decide what happens when Hunter realizes that you’ve already paid for your food! 

Thanks for the request, @dreamingofclones! I hope you enjoyed!

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #star wars the bad batch #star wars fanfiction #star wars fic #swtcw #tcw #tbb hunter #sergeant hunter #hunter #hunter x reader #clone force 99 #jedi reader #fic request

[bookishofalder]

Night Changes [Three]

Summary: In which the fragile state between Poe and the reader is shattered, a mission is assigned, and everything goes to hell. 

Warnings: Swearing, an actual fuck-ton of angst, light smut mentions, sad fluff, grief. WC: 14,090

To avoid too much free time you had begun working late any days that you could, making excuses to run diagnostics on your ship, tinker around or simply clean it. You left the maintenance to Ana, your lead mechanic, but knew enough to at least make yourself feel busy. The less free time you had, the less time you spent overthinking your life.

Today, you were both avoiding your thoughts as well as a specific person. Though truly there was nowhere on base he wouldn’t be able to seek you out, and your hope that staying in your flight suit in the hangar would be enough of deterrent proved futile.

The healer still showed up.

At the sound of approaching footsteps in the otherwise quiet hangar, you turned your head and instantly felt like an animal trapped in a cage. At this point, just over a week since meeting the man, you’d run out of excuses to try and encourage him, as nicely as possible, to fuck off.

Healer Rush Derrin was...annoying. To put it lightly, that is. If you were being honest, he was easily the most irritating man you’d ever met, and also the most clueless. Your initial attraction to him felt ridiculous now that you had one-failed-date and too many follow-up conversations that showcased just how self-absorbed and uninteresting the man was.

He’d found you a few days after your initial meeting, in the hangar as you had suggested to him, just before you were going to leave for dinner. You had lit up when you saw him walking over, feeling a little excited not only for time with a handsome man but also the opportunity to just talk to someone. Poe was giving you an unusually sombre silent treatment, though he did finish off reprimanding you the day after your mission fuck up. And then he was just...silent.

And you weren’t going to question it, because the less you said to one another, the better. It always felt like such hard work just trying to exist around Poe now, you were honestly grateful not to have to exchange jabs at one another. But it was also lonely; your only friend on base outside of Black team was Ana, your mechanic, who had long hours and limited free time. Temmin was always good for conversation, so you’d usually gravitate his way during the day when the opportunity arose, engage in friendly banter until Poe came along and you’d be forced to slip away. Kare was more content to give you a wide berth, treating you with respect and preferring the relationship was merely professional. You got along really well with her but could sense the lack of connection on a personal level.

So, lonely as you were, handsome as Rush was, you gladly accepted his offer to join him in the caf for dinner and treat it as a first date of sorts. At first, during the walk to the caf and waiting in line to pile your plates with dinner, you spoke casually enough that you felt the date was going fairly well. You weren’t too hung up on whether or not it would lead anywhere; it wasn’t like you were looking for anything serious at this point with anyone. You hoped it would lead to something fun, perhaps a few nights at the cantina drinking and dancing, and if you meshed well a couple of tumbles in between sheets.

But when you took a seat in a quieter section of the over large room, it was like a switch flipped for Rush and he went into ‘date’ mode and frankly, you’d wished he hadn’t. The man did not shut up about himself. He spoke over you enough times that you considered jabbing him with your fork, and just when you thought he was going to start asking you about yourself-now that you knew his fucking life story-he launched into a rant about what he wanted to do once the war was over, and on and on it went.

By the time dinner had ended and the caf was much less crowded, you were about ready to hurl yourself out the second-story window, figuring you could probably manage to tuck and roll to avoid injury that would require him to treat you, and then maybe you’d just run into the jungle for a few days.

As you pretended to listen to him ramble, your mind had wandered and you realized that you hadn’t ever needed to discourage any potential suitors before. Poe and Charlie had, in so many ways, made you set your standards high, high enough that not many dates ended up going anywhere, and you just never developed the ability to read other men, to be able to sniff out the bad eggs. Rush was a nice man, but he was also entirely not your type. And based on the way he occasionally bragged about mediocre accomplishments, you had a sneaking suspicion he would not be up to scruff in the bedroom.

You finally had to call the date off when he began talking about future second date ideas, politely cutting in to say you had an early call time and needed to call it a night. He hadn’t been fazed, merely clearing your trays before returning to the table, where you had stood up, to give you a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek. You wished now you’d been more direct, thanked him for the date but admitted you weren’t interested. And you hated to think about it, but the best part of your date with Rush had been when, after turning away to walk to the exit that would take you to your wing of the base, you met a pair of familiar brown eyes from across the room. You saw Poe standing with Temmin, in the middle of a conversation, his eyes narrowed slightly in your direction, flicking between you and the retreating healer.

At least you somehow managed to annoy him, if nothing else.

But thanks to your complete lack of ability to send Rush a clear and direct message, you were awarded his regular appearance in the hangar each day following the date. Usually stopping by on his lunch, he’d chat with you amicably enough but end the conversation by asking you out again-each fucking time. You had tried the excuses of being too tired, too busy, going on a mission, and hoped he’d just give up. But he kept coming back, pulling out the works to charm you with no success.

You knew you were going to need to get it together soon and just tell him it wasn’t going to happen. You wanted to be nice about it because he was a friendly enough guy, he just wasn’t your type in the least. And you had never really needed to discourage a man before, now that you considered it. Before Charlie died, he and Poe had been by your side your whole life-and they took care of you, easily discouraging anyone you had no interest in by tossing an arm over your shoulder on nights out if you asked them to.

You’d mostly had a few casual flings, never anything serious. Even your first time was with a friend, on the eve of your departure from Yavin-4 to head to D’Qar and begin basic. You met up with an old friend, Tahla, and one thing had lead to another. It had been nice, each of you parting on good terms after what had been a pleasurable evening. One that only encouraged your high standards because Tahla had ensured you reached your peak more than once, something that you’d since learned wasn’t always a priority for male partners.

And after Charlie had died, and you’d fled D’Qar, you had tried to fill the emptiness with one-night stands. But you would only wind up feeling more lonely in the morning when they left, regardless of how good the sex had been, and none of the men had been what you had wanted. Or, what you had thought you’d wanted. You spent about a year trying and failing to fill that void with sex, only to give up on it entirely after the last man you’d spent the night with had broken the terms of your understanding and tried to continue the relationship. You hadn’t been ready to start dating, so you closed yourself off, moved to another assignment to be safe, and now it had been...a few years.

A few very lonely years.

Rush wasn’t going to be someone you kept around to date, and you really needed to get your shit together and tell him. Especially considering how he was looking at you right now, with big eyes that held a hopeful gleam.

“Evening, honey, how are you doing?”

You gave him a small smile, setting your datapad down on the step stool you had in your parking spot (you were endlessly teased for being too short to hop up into your x-wing). He was a few steps away, giving you a warm smile as he looked down at you.

“Hi, Rush,” You wiped the sleeve of your flight suit over your face tiredly, “Been a long day, I guess. How are you?”

“Just fine, just fine,” He nodded, then gestured vaguely toward you and your ship, “You’ve had a busy week, which isn’t a surprise for Black team but I hope you have some time off coming your way!”

Damn, he just had to be so nice, didn’t he? Yet, you knew you’d still be brushing him off despite wishing you could just look past his issues and let him in, a little bit, for maybe a little while. “Ha, I wish I had time off!” You lied, knowing full well that, unless a mission came in, you were going to have the following day off. “We don’t get as much vacation as you Healers do!” You teased, internally cringing because flirting wasn't going to help discourage him. Kriff!

And you saw the way his eyes widened at your gentle chide, hope flashing his expression before he smirked, “Oh, you think we get vacation, do you?” He took a step closer and you had to tilt your head back to hold his gaze, warmth pooling in your belly at his proximity. Encouraged, Rush raised a hand and gently brushed it across your cheek, and against your better judgement, your eyes fluttered closed at the small display of affection. He then dropped his hand to cup your neck, and when he spoke next it was a whisper as he had lowered his face to your level. “You know honey, even in this flight suit, you’re the sexiest woman here. Not sure you get told that enough.”

You bit your lip, heat flushing your cheeks, “Rush, I’m not sure I-“

His free hand was suddenly on your hip, distracting you from whatever you’d been about to toss out as an excuse prevent him kissing you; your eyes snapped open to find him giving you a searching look, reading the heat in your cheeks, the way you had moved just a little closer when his hand gripped your hip, and he seemed to approve entirely of your reaction. His lips ghosted over your jaw, chin, and then pressed to yours, and stars did you ever let him do it.

Suddenly, all of the excuses seemed silly because here was a nice, handsome guy telling you he thought you were sexy and giving you a hungry look that had wetness pooling in your panties before he’d even touched you. At first, this kiss was measured, soft, until you pressed your body against his and threw your arms around his neck, pulling him closer. You felt rather than heard his low rumble of pleasure before his tongue swiped across your lips and you parted them to allow him to deepen the kiss.

In those moments, there was nothing else, just a warm and friendly man holding you close and making you feel desired. And as much as you didn’t click with Rush, the idea of his large hands on your bare skin was making you eager to leave the hangar the find comfort in the physical, to let him in just enough so that he could distract you from life with his expert touch, sturdy build, even if just for one night.

Before either of you could pull apart to suggest moving things to a more private location, the abrupt clearing of a throat followed by the drawling voice of Poe Dameron interrupted you.

“As entertaining as this is, Major, I have to interrupt.”

You sprung away from Rush in surprise, twisting to find Poe standing a few feet away, hands on his hips and an annoyed scowl fixed on you. But instead of embarrassment or irritation at being found in a compromising embrace right in the fucking hangar, you felt a surge of relief.

Because, Maker, you had been just about ready to let Rush Derrin take you to bed. What was going on with you? You knew better, and already decided against this very thing and yet the moment he touched you, you went to putty in his hands just because you were lonely? Poe’s scowl relaxed, morphing to confusion at the expression on your face before he glanced over at Rush, who actually was annoyed at the interruption.

“Commander, apologies I was just saying goodnight to the Major here, I’ll uh, leave you to it.” And he shot you a smile before hurrying off, a smile that told you he read about as much as you’d expected from your reaction to his kiss.

You were furious with yourself.

Good thing Poe was right there for you to take it out on.

“Did you need something, or do you just wander around here at night to be annoying?”

Poe huffed a breath out in a mixture of annoyance and amusement. “Didn’t realize I’d be walking in on a Corellian Soap Opera sex scene. Leia wants to see us.” He shrugged, but you froze, torn between wanting to continue being angry at Poe and the desire to laugh because hadn’t you thought Rush looked like he belonged in one of those shows when you first met him?

His words sunk in then, distracting you, “Wait, she wants to see us right now?” When Poe nodded, his expression curious as a result of your weird behaviour, you glanced down at your flight suit, “Should I change?”

“No,” Poe shook his head, turning to begin walking and so you joined him, falling into step alongside him, “She said straight away, she won’t care what you wear.”

You fell into silence after that, walking through the twisting halls of base, and though it was evening time you still passed by a lot of other Resistance fighters. You realized as you hurried along that you hadn’t spent any time with Poe outside of missions, of the hangar, and you hadn’t yet witnessed how he was treated beyond that of other pilots. 

Turns out, he was well-liked and admired, everyone you passed greeting him by name with friendly grins or flirty smiles, and even though every person also greeted you by title out of respect, you still found yourself growing increasingly annoyed.

It was certainly due to a combination of emotions and reasons, but you chose to focus on the fact the Poe Dameron was walking around D’Qar as the poster boy for the Resistance, a title that should belong to your brother. You hadn’t realized you’d scoffed aloud until Poe glanced down at you curiously, his expression hardening when he saw your frown.

“What?” It was just the two of you in this new branch of the hallway, steps away from the room where Leia was waiting. You could easily have not replied.

Instead, you sneered at Poe, “Please, I’m surprised we didn’t stop for you to sign some autographs, Commander.”

Poe stopped walking and stepped in front of you, blocking your path, “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I’m just realizing how popular you are, I suppose. Poster boy of the Resistance, I mean, that has to have a lot of perks,” You kept your voice cool despite the heat burning inside you from how angry you’d grown. “It must be a lot of fun, getting to fly all the time, fuck whoever you want, walk around with that stupid smirk...” You trailed off with a shrug, satisfaction coursing through you when his surprised look turned to irritation.

“That what you think?” His voice was low and threatening and you didn’t care in the least.

“I’m not surprised, really. You’re like a celebrity, and without Charlie around to keep you from growing too big for your pants I guess it’s only expected you’d become the biggest player on the base,” His eyes turned to ice as you spoke, “Bet you can just smile at a woman and end up getting a blow-“

Poe moved so quickly you had no time to react, your anger clouding your defensive abilities. With no other noise or people around, you heard the sharp draw of breath he pulled in as he slammed you back against the hallway wall, his grip on your arms preventing you from hitting hard enough to cause pain, but it certainly shut you up. You gaped up at Poe as he gave you his worst look, his breathing hitched in fury.

You had finally gone too far.

And isn’t that what you had wanted?

“(y/n), do you-seriously, you think I just?” He broke off, his anger preventing him from speaking proper basic and his grip on your arms tightened, “You think I just walk around fucking everything that moves and having a blast every day? You think I’m fucking happy?”

You shouldn’t reply, you knew. You would be better to stop, to listen to the twinge of guilt now in the back of your mind, the little voice that was asking you if you’d ever made Poe this angry before and questioning why you were doing it now.

You instead decide to pull on the string a little more and see what you could unravel.

“Aren’t you? I’m not saying you didn’t love Charlie, but you have to admit without him and me around you did pretty fucking good for yourself-“

“Shut up,” He growled, suddenly pressing his body to yours and lowering his head to meet your eyes, preventing you from pulling away or even looking anywhere but into his dark glare. “Maybe you’re a little worked up because I just interrupted your foreplay session, but I need you to shut the fuck up. You don’t know anything about me, about my life now or what I’ve gone through. You want to be mad, hate me for what I did, that’s fine, I deserve it. But that’s it, that’s the line.”

“Oh, you get to decide where the line is all of a sudden?”

Poe scoffed, “You got what you obviously wanted, (y/n), you pissed me off. Can you just leave it? Because you really don’t want to hear about what my life was after you abandoned m-everything here.”

You gave a harsh laugh, “Fine, sorry to have insinuated you’re a heartless manwhore, I mean it’s not like you blamed me for my own brothers' death at the fucking funeral!”

Your words seemed to hit Poe as if you’d slapped him; he flinched and jerked away from you, taking a few steps back before raising a shaky hand to rub his face. When he looked back at you where you stood still against the wall, you faltered a little at the genuine hurt in his expression.

After staring at one another for a minute, Poe finally pointed at you and his voice came out more clearly than you’d expected. “You don’t know anything. Not about me, or what my life was after you left, or what kind of person I am now,” He took a steadying breath, walked to the nearby door and paused with his hand on the handle, “Just like I don’t know anything about you. Which is why when I see my second in command making out shamelessly with a healer in the fucking hangar, I don’t comment. I don’t know you, and you sure as hell don’t know me.”

With those final words, he swept through the door, not bothering to wait for you and you held still until the door shut behind him, letting out a sob as guilt-wracked your body. 

You regretted pulling the string.

-

Before meeting Poe at the cantina that night, Charlie mentioned too casually that Poe hadn’t been going home with women for some time. Not since you had officially joined Gold team, which he was insisting was because of you. That it was always you when it came to Poe Dameron. You brushed your brother off with a roll of your eyes, keen to avoid the direction his words were leading you. And it wasn’t as if you hadn’t noticed Poe’s abrupt change in behaviour, how he had stopped slipping off partway through evenings at the cantina to flirt with someone who had been giving him eyes, maybe dance a little before they would wander off, no doubt in the direction of one of their rooms.

It hadn’t exactly bothered you, he was free to enjoy himself as much as you were, and he never left you alone, never ditched you when you were having a bad day. You wondered what was going on with him, naturally, but didn’t ask and certainly didn’t want to discuss it with Charlie.

Poe was already at your usual table when you walked into the cantina, and his eyes seemed to light up when he spotted you. Trying not to let that go to your head, you weaved through the crowd with Charlie right on your tail, which was a good thing because his bulk and intimidating appearance meant that people hurried out of your way before you had to even ask.

As you moved, Poe’s eyes never left your face and you wondered if he sensed the way he was making your heart flutter, how your stomach was full of butterflies. Your mind also replayed recent memories, now with Charlie’s words in your head and Poe’s eyes melting you from across the room, you could see something...was different. 

How he’d been the one to walk you to your room every night you all went out, and even though you’d just spent an hour or two together he’d linger for a while, lounge with you on your bunk and chat until one of you yawned. How often you both would switch to a private channel to talk during training or low-stakes missions. And when...when was the last time you had gotten yourself your morning caf? You hadn’t realized, he had met you outside of your room nearly every morning, two steaming cups in hand, for a while now.

And the subtle touches. You grew up with Poe, and he’d always been an affectionate enough person, but Charlie’s timing had been right-you joined Gold Team and Poe’s behaviour had shifted, not just in the day-to-day, but also with how he seemed to operate around you. A hand on your back, fingers brushing your long hair out of your face, the endless hugs-the kind that made you feel safe and whole, each time.

When you reached the table and broke eye contact to take a seat next to Poe, his arm dropped to the back of your chair casually. Had he been doing that long? You always sat next to him, but you hadn’t realized...

Your brother flashed you a knowing look that Poe missed because his eyes were still on you. You fought the urge to frown over at him.

“You look like you’re still up in the clouds, sweetheart.” Poe tossed you his signature grin, and you smiled back at him while simultaneously noting how the grin didn’t reach his eyes the same way it used to. It was genuine, yes, but there was a depth to his gaze that seemed like he was a little self-conscious, unsure.

You raised the drink he’d had waiting for you in thanks, “One of those days, I suppose.”

If he thought your response was inadequate, he didn’t say. He merely nodded, eyes searching your expression for a moment before he looked away to take a sip of his own drink. Charlie pulled him into a conversation then and you fell silent, your thoughts swirling again.

You watched Poe, for a while, out of the corner of your eye. You picked up on how his eyes didn’t wander around the room like they used to, even though YOU noticed women looking over, trying to catch his eye. His arm remained behind you, though he wasn’t touching you, the thick design of the chair allowing you your own space...but actually, you don’t think you would mind if he did touch you, just casually.

Well, where the fuck had that thought come from?

Your train of thought startled you so much that you were grateful when you glanced at your drinks and found each of you was getting low. You leaned forward and tapped your glass, interrupting what was now Charlie and Poe’s version of a heated disagreement (so basically they insulted each other back and forth while laughing), and said, “I’ll get us refills.”

You were up and out of your seat before either could object, and you determinedly did not look back at your table. You knew Poe would be looking at you. You were scared of how that made you feel.

The bartender was busy making drinks for a group of loud women you recognized as mechanics, all out to let loose-as they so deserved. You knew they had long hours, and you watched them all, already tipsy and giggling too much, while you waited your turn. You were leaning against the bar on both elbows when a voice to your right caught your attention, saying Poe’s name. You didn’t react physically and probably would have tuned back into the drunk mechanic's funny banter had that voice not been so full of vitriol.

“I hate seeing him out having a good time, wrapped around the Horn girl like a fucking lapdog.”

You stiffened, though it was less from offence (because whoever this was wasn’t worth your time of day) but more because she obviously hadn’t realized you were standing behind them.

Another woman laughed, “I think he’s pouting, can’t get into her pants obviously. You should have made him work harder for it, Liv, maybe he’d be your lap dog instead.”

The first woman scoffed, “Look, he was good for a couple of fun nights, don’t get me wrong. The dude is seriously packing, and he knows what he’s doing, too. But even when I did have his attention it wasn’t all there. Pretty sure he’s hung up on her.”

“And probably will be for a while, she’s a stuck-up little thing. Dameron can’t be very bright if he lets her keep him wrapped around her pinky like that.”

“He’s a real idiot, that’s for sure. Good thing he’s handsome, clearly there’s not a lot going on-“

Abandoning your perch at the bar, you swung around and roughly poked the back of the shoulder nearest to you, furious, “Excuse me.”

Both women turned and you recognized the blonde one, she had hung out a few nights at the cantina with Poe in the weeks before you finished basic. She must have been one of the last women to go home with Poe.

At first, they were both frowning, curious, until they looked down at you. You usually didn’t mind how short you were, but when trying to glare at a couple of long-legged, beautiful women, you suddenly hated how it made you feel small. You jerked your chin up, “You’re speaking quite rudely about a superior, you know. I could report you for that alone.”

The blonde, Liv, glared at you, “I’m not saying anything new, sweetie. Most people are saying it, actually.” You remembered then that Liv worked in the comms office, a notoriously gossip-heavy section of the Resistance.

“Doesn’t make it any less pathetic, though, does it?” You jabbed, your anger increasing. Liv scoffed, setting her drink down on the bar and taking a step closer to you, a little too close to be anything other than a veiled threat. You held your ground, unfazed.

“Look, sweetie, you want to play dedicated little teammate instead of admitting you’re just jealous of me, that’s fine. But don’t get in my face about it, I’m not interested.”

“Funny,” You deadpanned, voice low, “And here I thought we both knew it was you who was jealous of me.”

Liv jerked back slightly in surprise, giving you her worst look, “Speaking as the one who has gotten to more than sample his goods-and let me tell you, you’re totally missing out because he does knows how to make a woman mean it when she screams his na-“

SMACK

Liv stumbled back a few steps, a hand reaching up to touch her tender cheek in disbelief, the skin already reddening from the impact of your full palm slap. You were more surprised in yourself, you hadn’t realized just how angry you were until it coiled and snapped at her insinuations. Still, you felt a rush of satisfaction that faded to concern when the much taller women straightened up and stalked forward, eyes dark.

“You little bitch!”

Before you could begin to back away-keen to avoid an actual fist fight-you felt a sudden presence behind you, Liv stopping short in her advance the same moment a familiar, muscled arm dropped over your shoulder. Her brows shot up in surprise before a simpering little smile appeared.

“Liv,” Poe drawled, his voice light and almost friendly, but the grip on your arm gave way to you that he wasn’t as calm as he appeared. When you glanced up at him, his jaw was tight, a muscle twitching there, and his expression was cold. Colder than ice. You wondered how Liv hadn’t frozen just from having that look directed her way. “So sorry to interrupt, but figured I’d step in before you do anything you’ll regret.”

Liv raised her hands as if in surrender, then pointed at you, “Not sure if you saw, Poe, but the little brat just slapped me.” Her fury was funny to you now. You’d clearly injured her delicate pride more than anything.

The arm around your shoulder shifted as Poe pushed the braid that had fallen behind it back in front, where you usually let your hair sit. It was a simple gesture, both casual and intimate, enough to have Liv’s expression fall.

He tightened his arm around you again before replying in a low voice. “Thankfully, I was lucky enough to see that. It’s officially now my favourite memory, ever. Proudest, too, seeing as I taught her how to hit back at bullies” With his free arm, Poe raised his hand and pointed it at Liv, who was looking at him wide-eyed, “Now get the fuck away from us, before you really piss me off.”

You had to bite back a laugh at how quickly Liv and her silent friend scampered away, leaving the cantina completely with their heads low. You turned to look up at Poe and thank him, faltering when you saw him gazing at you intently, concern and worry replacing the cold glare. “Poe?”

“Are you okay? What did she say to you?” He spun so that you were now directly in front of him, both his hands falling to gently hold your arms. Your heart was about ready to beat its way right out of your chest over the intensely protective and concerned expression he had.

You reached up and did something that always worked on Poe when he was upset; gently running your thumb along his jaw, just a few times, before you dropped it again. It used to feel like second nature. Now it felt...wonderfully intimate. It worked though, his shoulders relaxing. 

“I’m alright, thank you.”

Poe swallowed before throwing you a grin, “I don’t think I’ve seen you that angry since we were teenagers, sweetheart. And that was a nice hit.”

You laughed, shrugging, a little bolt of pleasure warming you when he pulled you a little closer, wrapping an arm around you. “She was being exceptionally rude. Guess I’m not in the mood for it tonight.”

Poe chuckled warmly, and you felt it rumble in his chest because you were pressed against him. Quite suddenly, the urge to reach up and just touch his hair a little, stroke his cheek, maybe run your thumb across his lower lip-

What was going on with you?

As much as you were completely confused at yourself, you didn’t miss how his laughter met his eyes-the warm honey gazing into yours almost adoringly. You finally looked away and turned, glancing at your table for your brother. Charlie, however, was gone. Poe, still with his arm wrapped around your shoulder, noticed where you were looking and laughed again.

“Charlie is otherwise occupied by none other than Vanya, who despite my initial skepticism does, in fact, exist.”

You snorted, “In that case, I think we can leave unless you wanted to stay-?

Poe cut you off, giving you a little smirk, “Nope, I’ll walk you home, sweetheart.”

And his arm didn’t drop as you made your way out of the cantina.

Nor did it drop when you were walking the halls, or entering your door code to your bunk.

It still didn’t drop when you both fell onto your bed, laughing over the look on Liv’s face after you had slapped her and how quickly she and her friend had run out of the cantina.

That arm remained securely around you the whole night, as you and Poe talked for hours, reminiscing about Yavin-4, exchanging banter over who was the better pilot, even imaging what life would be like once the war was over.

And Poe’s hold only tightened when you nodded off, laying the wrong way across your bed and tucked against his chest. Loosening only when he too fell asleep, his final thoughts that he would tell you how he felt after tomorrow’s mission decommissioning a fuelling yard in the Sanbra Sector. Because he wasn’t sure he could pretend otherwise any longer.

+

General Organa had noticed the thick tension between you and Poe the moment you joined him in front of her, your face flushed but otherwise neutral. Her eyes had flicked between you both before commending you on how well you worked together and then explaining that she had a mission.

Normally, a top-secret, high stakes recon mission would thrill Poe straight to the bone, but upon hearing the finer details he felt his smile tighten and his excitement waning. Of course, mere moments after finally exploding on one another, you and Poe were assigned the task of taking a cruiser to a planet in the outer rim. A three-day trip minimum there, where you would be inspecting a base long since abandoned by the Galactic Empire after it had fallen. An outpost that, once cleared, would be of incredible use to the Resistance.

Upon learning that she needed you to leave first thing in the morning, Poe thanked the General, promised her the best teamwork, and then swept quickly from the room. He went straight to his to pack, glancing at his wrist comm for the time. He decided that after he was finished preparations he would go to the cantina for a drink.

Stars, if he wasn't just assigned such an important mission he would be having several drinks. After what had just transpired with you, he was reeling and in need of a distraction. He was angry, yes, but mostly he was hurting.

You’d been aiming to get a reaction out of him for a while now. Giving him the cold shoulder outside of missions to throw him off balance. It was the combination of finding you pressed against the healer, who had had his hands all over you, and then hearing your accusations...he just snapped, something he wasn’t prone to doing and yet you always seemed to pull the strongest emotions and reactions from Poe, even when you weren’t trying to.

And it wasn’t so much the scorn with which you described his status as a poster boy, but rather the genuine belief you held that Poe’s life had been good without Charlie and you. As much as you were trying to piss him off, you still believed what you were saying, and Poe hadn’t known what to do, how to make you see that everything, everything fell apart after he lost you.

Fuck, he knew it was his fault-he had said what he said and then he’d left you alone in the dark, but it still floored him to hear how little you thought of him now. You didn’t just hate him, he’d realized, you also believed he hated you, that he was living a happy life and didn’t spend every day wishing his life was different. He had fucked things up between you and him so well, that you never realized just how much he loved you.

Loves you.

Because the truth was, as much as he didn’t like you right now, there wasn’t a single thing in the entire galaxy that could stop Poe Dameron from loving you.

And he didn’t know...what that love was anymore, what it meant or what he wanted from it. He was happy to leave it in the background, to let you despise him until you said the things you did tonight. What you said told Poe that you didn’t know anything, despite growing up together. You still refused, to this very day, to look back at your relationship with him and recognize that it was never anything but the start of something millions would die to have. An epic love story, one that generations to follow would have spoken of.

You never saw it, and he’d failed to show you. And now you were both just fragments of those star-crossed idiots, and Poe had never felt more lost or alone.

+

Aware that he had a good week alone with you ahead of him, Poe hurriedly changed and made his way to the cantina after packing, intent on enjoying one good drink with Temmin to help clear his mind. Socializing in a loud space was the perfect way to prepare for what was sure to be a stony silence-filled week.  

The cantina was busy when he arrived, his timing synced with the late-night crowd. It only took him a moment to spot Temmin, though, and he made his way across the room, raising a hand in hello when his friend spotted him approaching. He turned, signalling to a nearby waitress for another drink for Poe, before clapping him on the shoulder.

“Commander! Nice of you to join us!” Temmin called merrily, and Poe already felt his tension fading, his friends genuine kindness always appreciated.  

“Thought I’d better keep an eye on you idiots,” Poe replied, thanking the waitress for his drink and winking at his laughing friends as he took a swig. He fell into an easy banter with the others, sipping his drink slowly as he would only indulge in the one on the eve of such an important mission. After a while, his drink half-finished, Poe found himself glancing around the room quite suddenly, his senses on alert.

It was then that he spotted you. And no wonder he’d been wary a moment before, as his eyes must have gone past you twice before they snapped back, realizing that the long-haired woman in khakis and a navy shirt was you. He hadn’t seen your hair down since you had been back, and it was longer now than he thinks you’d ever grown it. The braids you normally weaved into your low buns left the long locks wavy, and you weren’t used to wearing it down as you kept self-consciously brushing it out of your face.  

You were standing with your friend, Ana, a few other mechanics Poe knew mostly by their faces. Your friend was laughing at whatever you were saying, hard enough that you joined in and even though he couldn’t hear you from across the room, he knew exactly how genuine your giggles were just from your expression.

Poe looked away, flushing with a mixture of emotions he preferred not to examine.

His hand roamed around the room before landing on a tall figure making his way toward you. Rush had a grin on his face that suggested pleasant surprise at your presence at the cantina. Remembering the weird look of relief that had been on your face when Poe had walked into the hangar earlier, he wondered if maybe you weren’t as into Rush as you had seemed in that particular moment.

Maybe he was already worked up before your argument if he was really honest with himself. Something about having to watch from afar all week as Rush popped in every afternoon to flirt with you, then to walk in on him pressed against you, it had pissed him off. It had also brought forth that same protectiveness he’d felt when the stormtrooper had punched you, which only served to confuse Poe further. He’d swiftly stuffed those thoughts back as he’d told you Leia was waiting to speak to you both, only for them to tumble around in the back of his mind until you’d crushed his patience to bits.

Poe watched as the healer picked his way toward you. Glancing at you, he saw Ana stepping around you to move toward the direction of the fresher, leaving you standing alone as the other mechanics seemed to have already melted away to have a separate conversation. You sighed, your smile faltering a little, before taking a sip of your drink, your eyes raising up and immediately zeroing in on Rush. His suspicions about your level of interest in the healer were confirmed when you blanched, your eyes casting around you and widening in horror when you realized you were entirely alone. And then you fixed the fakest smile he’d ever seen on your face before turning to greet Rush, a stiff set to your shoulders.  

When the healer reached you and greeted you by way of running his hand down the bare skin of your arm, Poe stiffened. You greeted him in return but took a half step back, eyes peering up at the much taller man with a modicum of fear. Suddenly, Poe’s mind took him back to years and years ago, on Yavin-4, when boys would hit on you and you’d glance toward Poe or Charlie for help and they would be right there, without question.

Now, you looked so alone that Poe’s instincts took over, Charlie’s voice in his head saying, ‘Flyboy and I will always take care of you, Kid.’ And he abruptly stood, abandoning Temmin and his drink, and marched across the room. His anger for the earlier argument was long forgotten and Poe almost felt seventeen years old again.

“Why don’t we continue our earlier fun somewhere quieter, honey?” He was saying, his voice carrying over the music. You had been focused on Rush until Poe was just a few steps away, your head jerking to meet his gaze in surprise.

And unless Poe was mistaken, he saw a little relief there too.

Without preamble, Poe grabbed you by the shoulder and gently pulled you back a few steps, moving you away from Rush. “Sorry pal, not happening.” His interjection was in vast contrast to how Charlie would have done it. He’d have smiled, sauntered up, made it friendly. Poe pointedly conveyed no warmth, no room for argument.

Still, the Healer didn’t get the hint. His brows furrowing, he tilted his head to look at Poe, who stood a few inches taller. “Didn’t realize you had any say in the matter, Command-“

“Don’t care,” Poe replied easily, “Buzz off, and read the room-she’s clearly not interested in you.”

“Now wait just a-“

“Actually Rush,” You hurriedly cut him off, your hand reaching up to grab the one Poe still had on your shoulder, “He’s right. I-I’m not interested, I’m sorry. And we have an early call tomorrow, so we’re just leaving. Goodnight.” You spun away before Rush could reply, your grip on Poe’s hand slipping to his wrist as you dragged him out of the cantina.

Poe spared a glance over his shoulder to look at Rush, who was standing in the same spot looking a little dumbfounded. He bit back a grin before looking forward and watching you pull him along. Poe could feel your hand burning his skin where you held his wrist. After making it halfway toward base, you stopped walking and let go, your arms crossing as you peered up at Poe.

“I don’t need you to do that, Dameron.” Your voice was low, your gaze sharp. Poe wanted to flinch under the intensity of it but instead found himself standing to his full height and matching your stance, returning your glare right back.

He scoffed, “Charlie would have-“

“Yes,” You cut in, taking a step closer to Poe and lowering your voice further, “Charlie would have. He always would have, that’s what big brothers do. But you’re just my Commander, and you don’t get to step in on my social life.”

The words cut, but Poe had heard you say worse to him. He flooded with exasperation, “Major, are you telling me you would prefer to head back inside and let Rush fucking Derrin flirt with you until he inevitably passes out before you can say ‘do you have a condom?’”

You gave a humourless laugh, “Oh, please don’t think that just because any woman you set your eyes on is keen to lay under you that it means the rest of us love to go home with random idiots, regardless of whether we make out with them or not,” You jabbed a finger into Poe’s chest as you spoke, your words laced with venom, “I hold myself to higher standards, and I definitely don’t need the Resistance playboy inserting himself on my behalf.” With that, you spun and stormed away, toward base.

Poe had no option but to follow you. He lived next to you, he was going in the same direction.

Still, when you glanced over your shoulder as you entered the doors that led to the ranking official's dorms and saw Poe a few steps away, your anger seemed to snap and you let the door shut behind you in his face.

“Sweetheart,” Poe drawled as he stepped inside, still only a few paces behind you, “Be as mean as you like, I don’t care. But save the anger for the real fight, it isn’t going to work on me again.”

When your only reply was a frustrated groan, Poe smirked to himself. He watched as you flipped your middle finger over your shoulder before disappearing into your room, the door slamming closed with finality.

His smirk faded then, as he began to consider exactly why he’d gotten so worked up, and whether it really had anything to do with Charlie.

MISSION DAY SIX

Poe was completely numb.

Numb with shame. Regret. Disgust for his actions. Still, he remained protective at your side, following you through the jungle as you avoided looking his way. Knowing you were just as eager to get back to the ship as he was, and yet keenly aware that it meant three days alone together in the cramped space.

At least it would give you both time to come up with a believable explanation for your delay in return. An entire day lost, yet you’d already agreed with one another that the real reason wasn’t going in the mission report. If you never spoke of what happened again, it still wouldn’t be enough to curb the pain, the fucking guilt he was feeling.

Poe had been wrecked, mentally obliterated beyond repair. How he wished he could have died-if he could have ensured you wouldn’t have been harmed he would have gladly let himself die. You promised him it was alright, that you were alright, and yet Poe knew there was no coming back from this.

No, now everything had changed. In one night, it had all changed.

MISSION DAY ONE

The morning of departure for the top-secret mission had been smooth, but entirely silent, between Poe and you. He was glad you worked well enough together to not need to speak. With merely hand signals and grunts, you successfully managed to depart D’Qar and slip into space.

Once safely in hyperspace, Poe left you alone in the cockpit to engage BB8 for auto-piloting the cruiser, secretly relieved when you didn’t come into the small cabin once you’d completed the task. Content to give you as wide a berth as he could in the tiny ship, Poe spent the first few hours of travel lounging on his bunk, reading.

Poe was used to being alone in his x-wing, even if there was a conversation over comms, it was always just him and BB8. But the planet was far enough away that you needed to take a ship built for longer journeys. This meant brushing against one another more often than either of you would have liked, for a few days more than was ideal. Especially given the current climate of your relationship.

It meant sleeping on bunk beds, Poe one the top bunk because he could easily climb up with his height advantage over you. As second in command, you were tasked with ensuring Poe and yourself were fed, watered, and debriefed on the little known about the planet where you were heading. It had been during the mission the week prior, where you had been hit by the Storm Trooper, that BB8 had stolen the data needed to find this outpost.

Poe’s duties were to keep an eye on the ship status, update the mission report and study whatever materials you sent his way to prepare, until arriving at the destination. And to ensure that his team worked well together, which was why he was going to try and walk around on eggshells.

It was when he was warming his dinner rations the first day that he realized you hadn’t ever come out of the cockpit, not for lunch or even a trip to the fresher. With a sigh, he warmed a ration for you and carried both into the cockpit. You glanced up when he entered, your frown morphing into suspicious surprise when he handed you your plate and drink wordlessly. He managed to sit down in the pilot’s seat and get himself comfortable before you spoke.

“Did you poison it?”

Poe rolled his eyes and glanced toward you, his eyes falling to the datapad you had resting on one knee. You were reading a newspaper from a planet he’d never heard of.

“Yes.” He replied swiftly, before pointing at the tablet, “How’d you get that?” His eyes narrowed when you smirked.

“Seriously?” You replied, taking a bite of dinner and dropping your gaze back to the article you had been reading, attempting to brush him off.

Poe scoffed, “Did you ask MY droid to load that on there for you?”

When you looked back at Poe, your brows were raised in surprise, “Did you really not notice BB8 in my room when you walked by this morning?”

You gave him an exasperated look when he shrugged because truthfully his mind had wandered when he’d opened his door that morning. Yours was open as a service droid was carrying out your supplies to take to the ship. You had glanced up when Poe moved into the hall, shot him a glare and then returned to whatever you had been doing crouched on the ground, which he now supposed must have been taking the newspaper data from BB8.

He hadn’t noticed his droid because his eyes had immediately fallen on the corkboard above your desk, where you had posted several photos, the largest of which was the same one he tapped every morning before leaving his room.

You frowned when he didn’t reply straight away; Poe tore his gaze from yours to look at his food. “Had other things on my mind,” He finally said, taking a large bite of his meal and speaking with his mouth full, he added, “And ask next time you want to have my droid do you a favour.”

In response, you merely gave a small, cold laugh, returning to your article. Silence fell between Poe and you again. Eventually, he finished eating and decided to head to bed and read until you came out of the cockpit. He took your plate from you wordlessly, not lingering to find out if you thanked him.

A few hours later, you slipped quietly out of the cockpit and made your way to the fresher, where he heard you have a quick shower before getting ready for bed. Poe was reclined on the top bunk, comfortably laying on both his and your pillows when you emerged, and he bit back a smile as he waited for you to look at your bunk.

You sighed. “Can I have my pillow back, please?” Your voice was tight and Poe smirked, aware that he was decidedly not walking on eggshells at that moment.

He sat up, grabbing the top pillow, “Well since you’ve asked so polite-“ Poe broke off as he looked down at you, his gaze dropping below yours. He gripped the pillow in one hand as surprise swept through him upon seeing what you were wearing to bed. It was one of Charlie’s old shirts.

He’d recognize it anywhere because Charlie wore that shirt all the time; it was one of his favourites. It had been a gift from you though Poe couldn’t remember the occasion. His heart constricting at the sight of you dwarfed in your dead older brother's shirt, Poe let out a quiet breath, at a loss for words. The shirt had a few holes in it from being worn so many times.

“Kriff, my face is up here, asshole!” You snapped, and Poe was abruptly pulled from his thoughts. Meeting your angry gaze and then registering your words, his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Honey,” He drawled, using the nickname he’d heard Rush call you the night before. When your face pinched with fury he knew he’d hit his mark. Poe jumped down from the top bunk, carelessly tossing your pillow behind him before taking a measured step toward you. “I recognize the shirt, that’s all.”

Glaring up at Poe, you flashed your white teeth before replying, “You recognize my shirt, so you stare at my chest for a solid minute?” Crossing your arms, you let out a humourless laugh, shaking your head in disbelief.

Poe bristled, “Damn, you really have me cast as the worst kind of villain, don’t you? Poe Dameron, Rebel fuck boy. Poe Dameron, pervert with no fucking soul or moral code,” He was seething, leaning over you now, getting just as worked up as he’d promised himself he’d avoid. He gestured at your shirt vaguely, “Poe Dameron, sees a woman in a shirt and must be staring at her tits. Couldn’t possibly be that I see you wearing my dead best friend's old shirt and have any human feelings about that, right (y/n)? Because I ruined us,” He pointed first at you, then to himself, “It means that I don’t miss Charlie, don’t ever think about him, don’t have happy memories that make me sad.”

You were frowning up at Poe as he yelled, a mixture of surprise and confusion evident in your expression. For a moment, you both just stared at one another, and Poe thought you might be at a loss of how to respond. Until you did. Of course, you fucking did.

“You are the villain. You said what, the other day, that I abandoned you? How do you-I left after you deserted me!” Your voice was shaky with emotion, “You weren’t there for me for the funeral, and then you completely broke my heart and just walked away. Got into your ship and fucking disappeared,” Your voice cracked, tears slipping from the corners of your eyes; you hastily wiped them away, “Left me, all alone. I didn’t leave right away, Poe. I packed, I asked for a new assignment off-planet, and you still were just fucking gone. So I left, and you think it’s unfair of me to think of you as the villain?”

“Do you think I didn’t regret everything I fucking said the moment I said it? That I don’t know-didn’t know-how badly I fucked up?” Poe shouted back, “I tried to find you! You blocked me from being able to find you and tell you I was sorry. Didn’t even think you would forgive me, but you still deserved to hear me beg for forgiveness and work to make it up to you,” Poe took a step back from you, running a hand tiredly over his face, “What I did was the worst thing I’ve ever done, my biggest regret. I didn’t mean anything I said to you, I lo-I took out my guilt, my grief, on you and I know it was wrong. But you can’t twist everything I do now to fit into that version of me, it’s not fair.”

“Fair? Right, okay, I’m not being fair.”

“No,” Poe’s voice came out in a near whisper as he glared at you, “No, you’re acting like a brat, ever since you came back, and I’m kind of over it.”

Your eyes widened in fury, but before you could answer Poe swiftly stepped around you and shut himself into the fresher. He didn’t want to fight any longer, and he knew you would just be going back and forth at one another all night, neither of you willing to be wrong. So he turned on the water and had a brief rinse off under cold water and hoped tomorrow would be a little less terrible.

MISSION DAY SIX

You could feel Poe’s eyes on the side of your head as you walked. As much as you wanted to turn around and ask him to stop because you could basically hear his horrified, guilty thoughts screaming at you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

You were struggling with your own mortification, jumping from memories of what had happened to concerns about what would happen next. What could even happen next?

How things had been between Poe and you up to yesterday could no longer be the case, not after this mission. You just didn’t know what that meant now.

As much as you considered, during the two-hour walk back to the ship, leaving D’Qar and Black Squadron once you returned from the mission, you knew you could never do that. That you wouldn’t do it.

You couldn’t run again, but how the hell were you going to stay?

Everything had changed last night. And you could remember every single detail of how.

MISSION DAY THREE

You woke first on the morning of the third day in hyperspace, blearily looking at your wrist comm to see it was fairly early morning back in D’Qar. With a small sigh, you stretched your body before climbing out of the lower bunk and stepping across the small cabin into the fresher. When you emerged, Poe was still fast asleep and you set about making caf as quietly as possible, knowing the longer he slept meant that much more time for you to enjoy peaceful silence.

As much as you’d both been on eggshells around each other since your latest fight, the tension and silence were thick and heavy and draining. As angry as you’d gotten as he shouted at you, guilt had wormed its way into your mind the more he had let slip how much he’d been hurting. The truth was, you hadn’t wanted to believe he could be hurting, preferring to close him into a box where he was simply a terrible person, through and through, when you knew that wasn’t Poe Dameron at all.

He had done a terrible thing, yes. But he wasn’t evil, he didn’t deserve the vitriol, the cold shoulder, as much as you dished it out these past few days, did he? On the other hand, you felt if you let up on that treatment entirely, it would be akin to forgiving him, letting him off the hook for his fuck up.

You thought that you were treating him how he deserved to be. You had convinced yourself he was the villain. When he’d called you a brat, it hit you a moment later that you were being a huge fucking brat. He didn’t deserve your friendship, forgiveness, but he also didn’t deserve how you’d treated him the past several days.

You sat in the cockpit leisurely reading another newspaper BB8 had loaded onto your datapad before the mission. Poe had grumbled about it, but you had always enjoyed reading highlights from around the galaxies, it was like a little guilty pleasure for you. You lounged for half an hour, sipping your caf and enjoying an article that discussed the art of moisture farming before you heard movement in the cabin.

You strained your ears, listening for Poe to enter the fresher. Once you heard that door swoosh closed, you abandoned your article to head into the cabin and begin packing your bags for arrival. Based on your best calculations, you’d be arriving early the next morning and wanted everything to be ready to hit the ground running. You set the two bags onto the foot of your bunk and then dumped all of the supplies in several armfuls over the rest of your bed.

You were mindlessly sorting, doing inventory and packing everything when Poe eventually emerged from the fresher. He said nothing, quietly getting his caf before heating a ration.

You hadn’t eaten yet yourself, so you decided you would get your ration once he’d gone into the cockpit to avoid you. You were caught by surprise when you turned from his pack, where you’d just stuffed in his protective outerwear, to see your ration warmed up on a plate, set onto your bunk next to you.

You stared at the food for a moment before glancing up just in time to see the stiff set of Poe’s shoulders disappear as the cockpit door closed. You blinked a few times before moving to sit down and eat your breakfast, the sudden tightness in your chest ensuring the food tasted of nothing.

-

You cleared your throat awkwardly when you entered the cockpit later that afternoon. Poe hadn’t emerged and as much as you were glad for space, you knew he needed to eat. And you kept thinking of how he’d ensured you had your breakfast when you were heating your lunch.

He didn’t look around when you came in, his eyes remaining on the book open in his lap until you held out his plate of rations into his line of sight. He gave you a weary look before taking the plate, “Thank you.”

You shrugged, then took your seat. He watched you in surprise but didn’t comment. “I think, um. We’ll be arriving early tomorrow and I think we should just go over a few things now if that’s alright?” You glanced up at Poe when he didn’t reply straight away, only to find him curiously searching your face, confused by your near timid behaviour. You swallowed uncomfortably.  

He turned to his food after a moment, spooning a large amount into his mouth before nodding at you. With that, you began to go over a summary of your notes and data on the planet, the outpost and surrounding jungle conditions. Poe listened as he ate, occasionally nodding his understanding.

“If we have to hike in, I should warn you the time zone we are landing in is at its peak of summer. So it’ll be extremely muggy during the day.” You finished speaking abruptly and Poe glanced up from his food and met your eyes.

“Well as much as I like a good hike, let’s try to get as close to the outpost as possible.”

You hummed in response, looking away as a heavy silence fell between you. Entirely at a loss, you simply sat together for a while before eventually, you decided to do weapons check in preparation for the next day.

When you stood, you had to brush by Poe. Instead of continuing to avoid looking at you, he peered up as you moved, his eyes tired, and you felt something tighten within you. Heat crawled up your neck and you hurriedly ducked out of the cockpit.

MISSION DAY FOUR

Excitement had overtaken Poe, as it usually did when a mission was well underfoot. This was compounded further by the knowledge that, very shortly, he’d be set free from the stifling tension of the ship. It had drained his mental energy enough that even if you’d told him that he had to wade through molten lava to get to the outpost, he’d happily take the lead. Naked. Blindfolded. He just needed out.

You had everything prepared the night before, so all that needed to happen in the early hours of the morning of arrival was pulling out of hyperspace, approaching the outpost and scanning for a landing zone. The base wasn’t constructed to have an outdoor hangar, as it would defeat the purpose of being hidden, but Poe had hoped there would be a spot somewhere around the facility. Given the abandoned state of the planet, however, he didn’t let his hopes climb too high.

He’d heard your frustration as you ran the ground scans and came up short, your breath huffing out in disappointment. He let you work through it, knowing you were more than capable of finding the next best option, though he couldn’t agree more that it was a letdown there would be the need for a hike. The longer the mission took, the longer you were stuck alone together.

You sat up straight once you’d found an area to land, throwing Poe a triumphant look as you pointed on the radar. “This will do, Commander. Two-hour hike, along a river that will provide a decent nav-point, look it leads straight through the outpost.” Your finger traced along a line excitedly.

Poe leaned over to look closely, examining the map and seeing no flaw in your plan, not that he thought he would. It was his job to double-check, to make the final call, but with you, as his second in command, it was hard to justify the need to do it-you were simply that good. He drew in a breath to reply only for his brain to stutter as your freshly showered, peachy scent filled his head.

With a slight frown, Poe leaned away before speaking, keeping his eyes fixed on the map. “Set the course, Major.”

“Commander.” You agreed, setting to it. Poe left the cockpit then, heading to gear up and check his blaster over while you took the ship in to land. By the time he’d finished pulling on his pack, holstering his blaster and ensuring his wrist comm was good to go, you had successfully landed the ship and given control over to BB8.

“Alright, buddy, take care of things while we’re gone and no parties!” Poe called to his droid, who replied in the affirmative before telling Poe to be careful. He chuckled warmly, punching the button for the ramp to lower as you finished gearing up and came to stand next to him.

Poe made to start down the ramp, stopping when you suddenly grabbed his arm, turning to look down at you in surprise. You released your grip and gestured outside. “I know it was in my reports, but I have to say it again-don’t touch anything, especially if it’s colourful. I overpacked on med supplies in case we come into contact with something poisonous, but we don’t know a lot of the species of plants and animals here.” You reached up and brushed some hair out of your eyes, “If we have to move quickly for any reason, try to pick the most open path, okay?”

Poe cocked a brow, “You think some plant will be worse than whatever’s making us run?”

You shrugged, following Poe as he began to descend the ramp. Immediately the cool hull of the ship disappeared, replaced by the humid air of the jungle planet. It smelled similar to Yavin-4, and as Poe took a deep breath, feeling almost nostalgic, he heard you do the same before replying.

“Honestly, I’m hoping we don’t find out.”

-

Within twenty minutes of a steady pace through the jungle, first in the direction of the nearby river and then shifting North to follow along its banks, Poe was soaked in sweat. You hadn’t understated the humidity, and though you had broth grown up on a planet with similar weather, it did feel a little heavier here. And the jungle surrounding you both was thick, densely packed with trees so tall and substantial that not a ton of light from the single sun made its way to the jungle floor. Though, if the shade was offering any reprieve from the heat Poe couldn’t fucking tell.

The air had sweetened somewhat once he’d followed you from the small field into the jungle and Poe, though on high alert for any threats as you lead the way, couldn’t help but admire all of the colour interspersed through the greenery. It was no wonder you had reminded him to avoid anything colourful, for the jungle floor was full of every colour imaginable, as beautiful as it was dangerous.

Thankfully, as you had predicted, moving along the bank of the river was the safest option, a long winding path of densely packed mud and rocks leading you to the outpost without having to brush against every bush you passed. The river wasn’t flowing too quickly, but it did give a subtle backdrop of sound that made the quiet between Poe and you less noticeable.

After just over an hour of walking, Poe was feeling grateful that the combat gear you each wore was as moisture-wicking as it was, though he had to keep wiping sweat from his forehead before it could fall into his eyes. It was one of the times he turned his head at an awkward angle to wipe his brow that his eyes caught movement in the distance, and though he kept walking behind you he fixed his gaze to the general area as he filled with alarm.

After a few minutes, he relaxed, fractionally, when nothing further moved. Still, he kept his eyes surveying the area, worrying at his bottom lip as he did. He was considering that the research and information about this planet didn’t pull a lot of data on living creatures, and as much as he was coiled for an attack he could just as easily have seen some sort of bird or rodent moving up a tree. His concentration on your surroundings was pulled when you suddenly let out a little gasp as you tripped on a root.

Without thought, Poe reached out and grabbed the back of your shirt before you could fall over completely, lifting you and setting you back on your feet. Embarrassed, you mumbled your thanks and looked away from Poe, who had been eyeing you to make sure you were alright. When your eyes landed somewhere just behind him and widened in horror, Poe was moving before you could open your mouth to warn him, instincts taking over.

Grabbing your upper arm, Poe urged you both forward quickly while pulling his blaster free with his other hand. You copied him, making no attempt to shake his grip and following his lead in shooting over his shoulder.

“You okay?” He asked, sparing you a glance and letting you go once you nodded and he was sure you were steady on your feet again, “Run.” And you did, neither of you wasting any time in shifting into sprints along the riverbed.

Poe looked over his shoulder and saw the creature he’d sensed earlier, cursing because it wasn’t just a rodent, and it looked like it most definitely ate humans.

It almost looked like a wolf, but it was about twice the size of any Poe had ever seen and its jaws were tightly packed with long, pointed teeth that would surely be able to pull limbs off without much effort. It was pursuing at Poe’s four o’clock, running carelessly through the many bushes and plants as it gained on you both, the only thing stopping it from lunging were the many thick trunked trees.

Firing a few more shots and cursing when they made no impact-clearly the beasts' sides were too thick for the blaster to cause harm-Poe shouted at you. “How far away are we?”

“At this pace ten minutes or so!”

“Fuck, okay, any idea what this thing is?”

You grunted, jumping over a fallen branch and glancing back at the monster, “Looks hungry, we should probably avoid letting it catch up to us.”

Poe swore again, picking up his pace and then aiming a few more shots over his shoulder carefully. The first few missed, but the third shot made contact with one of the beasts' eyes and it let out a roar of pain before barreling through the tree line and coming up right behind you both.

“Fucking shit, looks like we’re testing the theory of which is worse, sweetheart!” He barked, grabbing your arm and pulling you off the river path and into the jungle. Neither of you stopped, though Poe took the lead in running through the dense brush in hopes of keeping leaves and branches from hitting your face. His height advantage kept him just above most of the potentially dangerous plants.

He heard you continue shooting, then give a small whoop at the same moment another roar filled the air-you had hit it again. The heavy steps of the creature faded. Poe glanced over his shoulder to see if it had stopped. He didn’t see the beast anywhere, just you running slightly behind him until-

With a cry of his name, you suddenly sprinted to close the distance between you both and then tackled Poe to the ground, the impact, angle and speed making you both roll through the plants and bushes he’d been trying to avoid. Poe roared with indignation as he slammed right into the trunk of a large tree, coughing as dust filled his lungs. Seeing you on the ground next to him, he grabbed you and pulled you close, listening for any sounds of pursuit as you coughed along with him.

The tree you had tackled him into had a large bush at the base, which served as a decent enough hiding spot. You each waited for any sounds, but when nothing came Poe carefully led the way out, his eyes searching all over, almost overwhelmed at the abundance of colour surrounding you within the jungle. You both stumbled back toward the riverbank, reorienting yourselves until Poe looked around at you.

Closing the gap between you in two steps, Poe gripped the front of your shirt with both hands before shoving you into the nearest tree, “What the fuck was that?” He shouted, surprised to see you panting heavily and appearing unaffected by his violent outburst.

Shocked at his behaviour, Poe released you.

He was panting too, he realized.

“You almost ran over that edge up there, forty-foot drop.” You explained heavily, looking down at your clothing. “We’re covered in, what is this?” He watched as you patted your shoulder and dust hit the air, shimmering slightly in the light.

Since when did dust shimmer?

Poe glanced down at himself and found he was covered as well, copying you to try and get it off. “That bush had red flowers, did you notice?”

You nodded, frowning, “Yeah, not one of the few BB8 was able to identify. This could be its pollen.” You began to walk and Poe stepped in stride next to you, both of you walking along out of standard formation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he recognized this. He just didn’t care, all of the sudden.

The base came in to view after a few minutes and Poe released a breath of relief. He hadn’t looked at you for a while, and something in his gut was telling him not to, though he had no idea why. He focused on searching for an entry point, trying to ignore how much hotter he felt, how the once comfortable clothing he had on now felt almost scratchy and he wished he could peel it off.

His skin felt...sensitive. Weirdly and increasingly sensitive. And still, he resisted the urge to look at you and see if you were experiencing anything similar. Looking at you didn’t feel safe.

Locating a doorway, you followed Poe and dropped to your knees to pry open the circuit board and play with the wires to get the door to release its lock so it could be manually opened. As he waited for you to work, his eyes dropped to stare at the back of your neck, where he could see the sweat dripping, the hair at the nape of your neck, below your bun, curling in the moisture. Just as he noticed how much you were sweating, he realized he was as well. Like, completely soaked.

Stars, he needed out of these clothes.

He didn’t even feel happy when you managed to break the door security and pry it open, nor any relief when he followed you inside and found the air in the abandoned, stone corridor outpost significantly cooler than outside. He simply followed you as you took a few steps down the corridor, stopping at the entrance to a room that’s door was open, peering in before taking a few steps inside.

It appeared to be some sort of old meeting room, a large marble table running the length, though most of the seats were gone and otherwise the space was unfurnished. This wasn’t a room of interest, and you seemed to decide this a moment before Poe, turning on your heel and looking up to meet his eyes as you did.

You opened your mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

Poe looked back into your eyes as that gut feeling shouted again not to look at you, but it was too late.

A low growl tore from his chest, and Poe was stalking forward.

+

Poe was moving toward you and every muscle in your body was coiled, ready to run, your mind all but screaming at you to get the fuck away from him. But you didn’t, you couldn’t, you stood rooted to the spot as he made to close the distance between you both, growling as he did.

You knew something had been wrong since leaving the jungle. You had been sweaty and much too hot, and you almost started crying when you’d been trying to get the door to open to the outpost because your skin was aflame and you needed to get the layers off of it for relief.

And you’d felt...you couldn’t exactly describe it, but you just knew you shouldn’t look up at Poe as he breathed heavily behind you, something deep within you telling you that things were off. Very, very off. Whatever was happening, it was overtaking Poe more aggressively than you at this point.

It had to be the pollen, you realized with growing horror. If the pooling of heat in your belly was any clue, that red flower had to be an unidentified fertility plant. But you’d studied fertility plants, and none that you knew of were this intense. You’d only been exposed, what, ten minutes? And yet you were both sweaty and overcome already.

And Poe didn’t look like himself anymore, something in him snapped the moment he met your eyes. He looked like a predator. Scarier than the beast outside that had chased you.

He was a breath away when you heard yourself let out a whimper, a mixture of fear and longing that seemed to stop him in his tracks, his eyes widening. He stood rooted to the spot but visibly struggled to lean away from you, horror replacing the dark look he’d had moments before.

“What, what the f-fuck is happening?” He gasped, closing his eyes as if in pain.

“Fuck, I’m so fucking hot, I need to get out of these clothes!” You cried out, yanking your shirt from where it was tucked into your khakis desperately. “I think it was a fertility plant, Poe, we have to g-get out of our clothes. Cov-covered in pollen.” It was starting to hurt just to breathe, to speak, to not be touching Poe.

He gave a moan indicating he was equally as uncomfortable, opening his eyes again.

When he looked down at you, the dawning horror overflowed. His eyes, normally soft and honey-coloured, were completely black. His gaze locked onto yours and a smirk replaced his fearful look, and as much as it scared you, you couldn’t look away, heat and wetness now pooling between your legs in anticipation.

“Little girl,” He growled, his body locked tight still but his eyes devouring you, “Look at what you’re doing to me.” He demanded, his hand moving to palm over his crotch where-

Stars, even with his pants still on you could see the outline of his erection, and you whimpered again. This was going to happen, there was no stopping it, you could feel that despite everything inside of you fighting to step away, to run, that when you did move it would be straight for him.

The pollen from this plant would kill you both if you didn’t follow your urges, that much you knew. You’d studied the tales of this strength of a fertility plant, and you knew the dangers that it could pose. You might both die anyway, now that you’d been exposed. It could be strong enough that you’d both just fuck until you died, and you knew that should scare you but...you felt yourself fading into the back of your mind, the heat enveloping you everywhere. Taking over.

You moaned again, still fighting the need to close the distance between Poe and you because you needed him to understand what was happening. “We can’t stop,” You gasped out, and then you watched as the darkness in Poe’s eyes faded slightly and his horrified expression returned-he was trying to fight the pollen.

“Run, (y/n), g-get away before, f-fuck I need y-you so bad,” He was trying to step back from you but unable to fight the burning need, the desire. You saw tears slip from his eyes, “Can’t control my-myself, sweetheart, r-run p-please.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes as you only stepped toward Poe, feeling yourself disappearing further in further into the back of your mind, “We have to, Poe,” He was again only a few inches away now, and what a sight it must be as you each stood so close, fighting against the pollen’s wishes and trying to pull back from one another with no success, “W-we might d-die, can’t f-fight this, oh fuck PLEASE!” You suddenly felt the heat reach a boiling point and absolutely needed Poe to touch you.

“Sweetheart,” He groaned, “F-fight me, don’t, don’t let me hurt y-you, we ha-have to fight it!”

“POE,” You screamed, the last of your true self speaking, “I promise i-it’s o-kay, ple-please, I don’t wa-want t-t-to die!” And the band within you snapped, and you were moving into Poe at the same moment his eyes turned black again and then, quite suddenly, he was on you.

If only everything could have gone black at that point.

Taglist 

@mermaidxatxheart @foxilayde @eleinemk @paintballkid711 @mylifeisactuallyamess​ @20th-centu-fairy-girl @deitysnips @cannedsoupsucks @ubri812​ @poedameronloverx​

#reader insert #fanfic #angst #fluff #poe dameron x reader #multichapter #poe dameron #star wars #friends to lovers #poe dameron x female reader #poe and bb8 #poe x reader #night changes series #Oscar Isaac #fem reader #poe star wars #star wars series #star wars x reader #love story #enemies to lovers #eventual smut #please this chapter is so long

[unit-zero-two]

Queer Representation in 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

13 Sentinels was a game I picked up because the trailer looked neat. I had no clue what the gameplay was even like, I just felt adventurous. And I was rewarded with a fantastic game that constantly surprised me in the best possible ways. One of the ways I was surprised was in the actual textual existence of queer characters. Plural. And with a queer relationship developed and promoted prominently on screen between main characters.

Now, with the increase in queer media around the board, this alone isn’t worthy of praise. My enjoyment, and I suspect that of a lot of people, comes from the fact that there was no expectations or promises made, and yet the game still delivered. It was just there, causally, in a AAA game published by a decently well known studio. It’s a good example of what we’re asking for when asking for queer rep. It being allowed to casually exist and flavor games that aren’t just dedicated to telling these stories.

Like a lot of media if you go in expecting flawless queer representation suffusing every aspect of the game, you will be disappointed. This is a game with 15 main characters and most of the cast ends up in straight relationships. But not all of them. And past those relationships, there is still a queerness that is allowed to exist and be shown throughout this game that constantly impressed me.

I will work through the textual, on screen examples of queer representation one by one. There will be spoilers for this game in the post, so if that is something that you care about, please finish the game first before continuing. Due to the non-linear storytelling and gameplay nature of 13 Sentinels I can’t really set timestamps or anything. If you’re not done yet, but still curious to read, I personally feel like nothing I say here will ruin the experience for you. Through it’s strange nature, this is arguably a spoiler proof game and knowing what is to come can help you view the events in a different, but still enjoyable, light.

Textual Queer Representation in 13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim

The place for us to begin will be with one of the 13 playable characters, Takatoshi Hijiyama. Hijiyama is very much a young man defined by when he was raised in the story. 1945 Japan in the middle of WW2. He is nationalistic and proud of Japan, it’s culture and tries to stand for it’s values. While training to be a Sentinel pilot, he falls for the demure Kiriko Douji, daughter of the professor in charge of the project. His prologue begins with him following Kiriko and finding her operating a time travel system. Kiriko reveals three things: 1) she’s the real scientist behind the project, 2) her real name is Tsukasa Okino and 3) she is a he. Okino leaves 1945 and Hijiyama chases after him. What then follows is a very clear romance storyline as Hijiyama works though self-discovery of his sexuality, his internalized biases and some good old jealousy.

Throughout his story, Hijiyama shows attraction to Okino both dressed as a woman and as a man. It’s made clear that the clothes and gender presentation aren’t the main defining factor for his attraction to Okino. He also shows attraction to some of the girls, implying a sort of bisexuality. But in the end, Okino is the one he directs his attention and dedication. The pair even share a robot in the final battle.

Next we have Takatoshi Hijiyama...of 2188. Through a data log Hijiyama finds during his story he finds out that his self of 2188 was in a committed, queer relationship with Tsukasa Okino of 2188. The two openly express their love for each other in the logs, and Hijiyama 2188′s final words are to mourn the death of his lover. The game makes it very clear what their relationship is. And watching this is a turning point for Hijiyama and how he views Okino. Seeing the death of Okino 2188 shakes him, and hardens his resolve and love.

Tsukasa Okino is an interesting character for many reason. We see him first dressed as a woman. When asked about it, he comments “Let’s just say some binaries work for me, and others don’t.”. Throughout the story, Okino alternates between being dressed as a man and a woman. He’s a very practical person and expresses several times his thoughts on both forms of dress and the pros and cons he finds in wearing them. But he never says, “I’m actually a man/woman or I prefer to wear men’s/women’s clothing.” To him, both forms are equal and he switches between them as he feels like through the story. There is also a point in the epilogue where Okino reveals that he can hack into the simulation and change his gender if he wishes. He then offers to turn into a woman and to sleep with Hijiyama. This is a very confident offer made by someone secure in their identity and sexuality. Hijiyama is understandably flustered at the teasing.

Okino openly shows sexual attraction to Hijiyama, mostly presented as teasing jabs at him. As with 2188 Hijiyama, 2188 Okino is explicitly in a Queer relationship and openly affectionate in the data logs. For the most part, present day Okino is busy during the narrative trying to save everyone from the Kaiju, but still finds time to flirt with Hijiyama.

Hijiyama and Okino are the clearest in text examples, but there’s one other stand out example. Iori Fuyusaka. For the most part she spends her story being boy crazy and confused by strange dreams, but there are two interesting moments with her. The first is during the battle section. One of the scripted after battle sections plays and it’s Iori tripping and she scrapes her hand. Yuki Takamiya helps her up and puts a bandage on her hand. It is a very slow, very tender and very deliberate scene. After Yuki leaves, Iori blushes and comments, “Whoa, what the...why is my heart racing right now? Wait, does that mean...? But I didn’t think I was...I mean, what if...” This scene makes it very clear what Iori is feeling and what she is discovering about herself.

In another scene near the beginning of the game in Iori’s story, she’s looking for a cat. She comes across Juro and Shu talking to each other in secretive whispers and embarrassed blushes.

Shu: Just listen. This is a first for me too. You feel it, right?

Juro: ...

Shu: I want to pursue this with you. Please!

Juro: I dunno...it's just...

The edges of the background softens and the camera shifts to center them, soft music plays, and Iori blushes. While the scene itself is a pretty standard confused for gay joke, it’s interesting to see it from Iori’s point of view. When caught, she says:

"I, uh...umm...I think as long as you love each other...it's okay..."

Juro is embarrassed and corrects things. Shu just laughs and is amused by the idea of dating Juro.

Juro: Do you believe us [about our dreams]?

Iori: Well, actually...I'm more surprised to hear that's all it was. Cause, I thought...

She blushes and is interrupted by the bell ringing and class starting.

And in light of the scene with Yuki, it becomes interesting in reflection that her thoughts would go there so quickly. Whether she was conscious of it or not, Iori is very aware of the possibility of same sex attraction. Whether that’s clever foreshadowing or just a neat coincidence is mostly irrelevant.

Uh...that of course brings us to Yuki Takemiya. So...Yuki will get her own post. Because there’s a lot there. Most of which I would argue is heavy subtext. I love the character and her plotline, but it it would be stretching to say that she is textual queer representation. But there’s still a lot to talk about.

13 Sentinels is a game that deals in all variations of relationships; familiar, platonic and romantic, and it’s great that it included queer representation into the text like it did. Hijiyama and Okino gave us a romantic queer relationship, twice, and Iori gives us a Bi-Sexual character who while not in a relationship with a woman is still queer. And that’s always good representation.

#13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim #13 sentinels spoilers #iori fuyusaka #takatoshi hijiyama #tsukasa okino

[benevolentbirdgal]

“Thirteen″ Tips for Writing About Synagogues / Jewish Writing Advice / Advice for Visiting Synagogues

So your story includes a Jew (or two) and you’ve a got a scene in a synagogue. Maybe there’s a bar mitzvah, maybe your gentile protagonist is visiting their partner’s synagogue. Maybe there’s a wedding or a community meeting being held there. For whatever reason, you want a scene in a shul. I’m here as your friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional to help you not sound like a gentile who thinks a synagogue is just a church with a Star of David instead of a cross. 

Quick note: The are lots of synagogues around the world, with different specific cultural, local, and denominational practices. The Jewish community is made up of roughly 14 million people worldwide with all sorts of backgrounds, practices, life circumstances, and beliefs. I’m just one American Jew, but I’ve had exposure to Jewishness in many forms after living in 3.5 states (at several different population densities/layouts), attending Jewish day school and youth groups, doing Jewish college stuff, and landing a job at a Jewish non-profit. I’m speaking specifically in an American or Americanish context, though some of this will apply elsewhere as well. I’m also writing from the view of Before Times when gatherings and food and human contact was okay.

Bear in mind as well, in this discussion, the sliding scale of traditional observance to secular/liberal observance in modern denominations: Ultraorthodox (strict tradition), Modern Orthodox (Jewish law matters but we live in a modern world), Conservative (no relation to conservative politics, brands itself middle ground Judaism), Reconstructionist (start with Jewish law and then drop/add bits to choose your own adventure), and Reform (true build your own adventure, start at basically zero and incorporate only as you actively choose).

Synagogue = shul = temple. Mikvah (ritual bath) is its own thing and usually not attached to the shul. Jewish cemeteries are also typically nowhere near the shul, because dead bodies are considered impure.   

A Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah is the Jewish coming of age ceremony. Bar (“son”) for boys at 13+, Bat (“daughter”) at 12+, and Bnai (“children”) for multiples (i.e. twins/triplets/siblings) or non-binary kids (although the use of the phrase “Bnai Mitzvah” this way is pretty new). 12/13 is the minimum, 12-14 the norm but very Reform will sometimes allow 11 and anybody above 12/13 can have theirs. Probably a dedicated post for another time. Generally, however, the following will happen: the kid will lead some parts of services, read from and/or carry the Torah, and make a couple of speeches. 

Attire: think Sunday Best (in this case Saturday), not come as you are. Even at very liberal reconstructionist/reform synagogues you wouldn’t show up in jeans and a t-shirt or work overalls. Unless they are seriously disconnected from their culture, your Jewish character is not coming to Saturday morning services in sneakers and jeans (their gentile guest, however, might come too casual and that’d be awkward).  1a. The more traditional the denomination, the more modest the attire. Outside of orthodoxy woman may wear pants, but dresses/skirts are more common. Tights for anything above knee common for Conservative/Reform/Recon, common for even below knee for orthodox shuls. Men will typically be wearing suits or close to it, except in very Reform spaces.  1b. Really, think business casual or nice dinner is the level of dressiness here for regular services. Some minor holidays or smaller events more casual is fine. Social events and classes casual is fine too.  1c. Even in reform synagogues, modesty is a thing. Get to the knee or close to it. No shoulders (this an obsession in many Jewish religious spaces for whatever reason), midriffs, or excessive cleavage (as I imagine to be the norm in most houses of worship). 

Gendered clothing:  3a. Men and boys wear kippahs (alt kippot, yarmulkes) in synagogues, regardless of whether they’re Jewish or not out of respect to the space. Outside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew” but inside of Jewish spaces it’s saying “I’m a Jew or a gentile dude who respects the Jewish space.”  Outside of very Reform shuls, it’s a major faux pass to be a dude not wearing one.  3b. There are little buckets of loaner kippahs if you don’t bring your own and commemorative kippahs are given away at events (bar mitzvah, weddings). Your Jewish dude character not bringing or grabbing one is basically shouting “I’m new here.”  3c. Women are permitted to wear kippahs, but the adoption of a the traditionally masculine accessory will likely be interpreted by other Jews as LGBTQ+ presentation, intense feminism, and/or intense but nontraditional devoutness. Nobody will clutch their pearls (outside of ultraorthodoxy) but your character is sending a message.  3d. Tefillin are leather boxes and wrappings with prayers inside them that some Jewish men wrap around their arms (no under bar mitzvah or gentiles). Like with the kippah, a woman doing this is sending a message of feminism and/or nontraditional religious fervor.  3e. Additionally, prayer shawls, known as tallit, are encouraged/lightly expected of Jewish males (over 13) but not as much as Kippahs are. It is more common to have a personal set of tallit than tefillin. Blue and white is traditional, but they come in all sorts of fun colors and patterns now. Mine is purple and pink. It is much more common for women to have tallit and carries much fewer implications about their relationship to Judaism than wearing a kippah does.  3f. Married woman usually cover their hair in synagogues. Orthodox women will have wigs or full hair covers, but most Jewish woman will put a token scarf or doily on their head in the synagogue that doesn’t actually cover their hair. The shul will also have a doily loaner bucket. 

Jewish services are long (like 3-4 hours on a Saturday morning), but most people don’t get there until about the 1-1.5 hour mark. Your disconnected Jewish character or their gentile partner might not know that though. 

Although an active and traditional synagogue will have brief prayers three times every day, Torah services thrice a week, holiday programming, and weekly Friday night and Saturday morning services, the latter is the thing your Jewish character is most likely attending on the reg. A typical Saturday morning service will start with Shacharit (morning prayers) at 8:30-9, your genre savvy not-rabbi not-Bnai mitzvah kid Jewish character will get there around 9:30-10:15. 10:15-10:30 is the Torah service, which is followed by additional prayers. Depending on the day of the Jewish year (holidays, first day of new month, special shabbats), they’ll be done by 12:30 or 1 p.m. Usually.  After that is the oneg, a communal meal. Onegs start with wine and challah, and commence with a full meal. No waiting 4-8 hours to have a covered-dish supper after services. The oneg, outside of very, very, very Reform spaces will be kosher meat or kosher dairy. 

To conduct certain prayers (including the mourner’s prayers and the Torah service) you need a Minyan, which at least 10 Jewish “adults” must be present, defined as post Bar/Bat/Bnai Mitzvah. In Conservative/Reform/Recon, men and women are counted equally. In Ultraorthodox women are not counted. In Modern Orthodox it depends on the congregation, and some congregations will hold women’s-only services as well with at least ten “adult” Jewish women present.

In Conservative and Orthodox shuls, very little English is used outside of speeches and sermons. Prayers are in Hebrew, which many Jews can read the script of but not understand. Transliterations are also a thing.  In Reform synagogues, there’s heavy reliance on the lingua franca (usually English in American congregations). Reconstructionist really varies, but is generally more Hebrew-based than Reform. 

We’re a very inquisitive people. If your character is new to the synagogue, there will be lots of questions at the post-services oneg (meal, typically brunch/lunch). Are you new in town? Have you been here before? Where did you come from? Are you related to my friend from there? How was parking? Do you know my cousin? Are you single? What is your mother’s name? What do you think of the oneg - was there enough cream cheese? What summer camp did you go to? Can you read Hebrew? Have you joined?  A disconnected Jew or gentile might find it overwhelming, but many connected Jews who are used to it would be like “home sweet chaos” because it’s OUR chaos. 

In Orthodox synagogues, men and women have separate seating sections. There may be a balcony or back section, or there may be a divider known as a mechitzah in the middle. Children under 12/13 are permitted on either side, but over 12/13 folks have to stay one section or the other. Yes, this is a problem/challenge for trans and nonbinary Jews.  Mechitzahs are not a thing outside of orthodoxy. Some older Conservative synagogues will have women’s sections, but no longer expect or enforce this arrangement.   

Money. Is. Not. Handled. On. Shabbat. Or. Holidays. Especially. Not. In. The. Synagogue. Seriously, nothing says “goy writing Jews” more than a collection plate in shul. No money plate, no checks being passed around, even over calls for money (as opposed to just talking about all the great stuff they do and upcoming projects) are tacky and forbidden on Shabbat. Synagogues rely on donations and dues, and will solicit from members, but don’t outright request money on holidays and Shabbat. 

Outside of Reform and very nontraditional Conservative spaces, no instruments on Shabbat or holidays. No clapping either. Same goes for phones, cameras, and other electronics outside of microphones (which aren’t permitted in Orthodox services either).  11a. In the now-times an increasing number of shuls have set up cameras ahead of time pre-programmed to record, so they don’t have to actively “make fire” which is “work” (this is the relevant commandment/mitzvah) on Shabbat, so services can be live-streamed. 11b. After someone has completed an honor (reading from the Torah, carrying the Torah, opening the ark, etc), the appropriate response is a handshake after and the words “Yasher Koach” (again, Before-Times).

Jewish services involve a lot of movement. Get up, sit down. Look behind you, look in front of you. Twist left, twist right. A disconnected Jew or gentile visitor would be best off just trying to follow along with what an exchange student we had once termed “Jewish choreography.” Some prayers are standing prayers (if able), some are sitting prayers. It’s just how it is, although a handful of prayers have variations on who stands. 

#jumlbr #jewblr #jewish #jewish writing help #jewish writing #jewish characters #writing jewish characters #jewish representation #writing advice #writeblr #writing jewish spaces #how to write synagogues #another long one sorry not sorry

[jypbae7]

Me me meeee <3 I'll request a full analysis about NCT's Johnny! 😚😚 Include errrrthing baby hahaha 18+ stuff, him as a romantic partner aka bf <3 whatever you want! I'm so excited to read this akndfkgkfn 😎😎😎❤️❤️

Johnny Suh - Natal chart

Finally finished it!! Johnny was actually the most requested member I received in my inbox! Sorry that it’s nearly the length of a novel lmao but I sectioned it to make it easier to read and navigate 💕

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Virgo rising, Leo Mars

While Aqua is a fixed sign it is definitely the most adaptable of the 3 fixed signs due to the Air element of Aquarius plus the ever spontaneous Gemini moon. Most things that make the rest of us feel anxious tend not to seem that scary to fearless Gemini or cool as a cucumber Aquarius.

Natural social butterflies who love their tribe deeply and fiercely once they find them. Busy bodies who are easily bored if left unstimulated too long which will turn into crankiness if not rectified quickly. Thankfully Aqua & Gem have a zest for life that makes them quite easy to please. They are open minded and will gladly stay up till 3am talking about aliens and conspiracy theories, just like they are thrilled to go on last minute random trips just because why not (Gemini impulsivity at it’s finest lmao)

Gemini is a mutable sign unlike fixed Aquarius. This is a pretty big difference and something that goes under the radar with Aquas due to that cool as a cucumber attitude. Because they are adaptable and typically very easy going they don’t often show their stubborn aggressive sides and honestly prefer not to have to unless they are feeling extremely disrespected or pushed beyond their boundary which is a BIG let me say that again, BIG no no with Aquarius (almost as big as it is for for the water signs)

Adding to these deep inner thoughts and vast inner world that Aquarians have, his Virgo rising adds more depth and self awareness. As perfectionists and highly intellectual minds they are a lot more self critical than they let on, just like they are a lot more caring and soft than they let on. They deeply care about others and the world in general seeing the big picture in a very earthy and traditional way - good people should strive to put good out and try their very best at whatever they do. They deeply dislike mean, malicious, manipulative, or spiteful behavior or people and generally keep guarded around people they don’t know well until they feel certain of the person’s true intention. There’s nothing Virgo is more cautious of than to be swindled or hurt by someone they take it reallyy hard and they know it.

Now we alllll know his swag and confidence is legendary and we can all thank the Leo Mars placement for that and the beautiful lush shiny hair and big toothy smile (Looking at Mark, Jaemin and Xiaojun like 👁👄👁) But beyond the aesthetics and dripping confidence and charisma, Leo is another creative sign that tends to be a lot more intellectual and intuitive than people give them credit for.

When the other members call Johnny one of the scariest members you can bet it’s his aggressive fiery fixed Leo Mars which is loud and even violent when provoked enough not to mention the fixed Aquarius tornado energy...Oooof that is a lot of Fixed sign rage right there honey so let’s tread lightly with Johnny boy and appeal to his open minded and friendly nature with a gentle tone and non-pointed words during discussions and all shall be good even if there’s some disagreeing!

Honestly if the argument starts getting bad you can always distract the Gemini moon by just bringing up other interesting topics! Geminis minds move FAST and while they can process a lot of information quickly and precisely they tend to get distracted easily (but here’s the good side of that😉)

Aquarius have a deep love of family and the desire to create their own (Geminis often share this trait) they can feel a bit like outsiders or “other” from people and thus crave to build a tribe of their own - this can be friends that are lifelong deep relationship carried on no different than family or starting their own family with a partner and kids

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships & overall communication style: Aquarius Sun, Gemini Moon, Aqua Mercury, Leo Mars, Virgo Rising

Built off laughter, time spent together whether its at home hanging out casually or going out for meals and fun new things to try together

Wants to bounce lots of ideas off of his closest friends and secretly loves doing creative stuff together the most - this is pretty evident if you watch JCC he’s happiest when he’s doing stuff with his bros whether it’s sporty, musical, or crafts

Does not like to be vulnerable even with those he’s close to, tends to stick to neutral and more light hearted topics of interest and conversation because he prefers to spread a good mood instead of a heavy one

If he really trusts you or has worked through it enough already to want to talk about something serious you’d better listen cause the boy drops gems of wisdom and has a really soft mushy heart

Immediately adopts his close friends as family and no matter the time apart or distance will always treat them the same

Likes friends he can learn from and take on new adventures with they satisfy the intellectual Virgo rising and Aqua & leo sign thrill needs - Gemini is all about BOTH of these

Deeply appreciates loyalty, acts of service, and quality time with his friends and family - makes his heart soooo happy BUT

He would rather fucking DIE than let you or anyone see him cry so he cries like 4 times a year at 3am in the bathroom while everyone’s asleep (HIGHKEY feel like Ten & Jaehyun are exactly like this too)

Romantic relationships and preferences: Capricorn Venus, Leo Mars, Capricorn Juno, Capricorn Eros

Mr. Johnny Suh has THREE Capricorn placements tied to love and intimacy so that’s saying something lmao

Going against Aquarius’ open mindedness and anti-traditional persona Capricorn prefers all things traditional and stable.

Very much does acts of service for his partner as a sign of affection also lots of touching and quality time.

A veryyyyyy spontaneous boyfriend/partner thanks to that Gemini moon - he either wants to stay at home in pjs and order food and have movie marathons or whisk you away on zero notice to a trip lol

Earth sign men are drawn to women who embody very flowery feminine energy and aesthetics. They prefer a “natural beauty” who can spice it up sometimes rather than a super flashy 24/7 partner. (He’s said in the past that his ideal type is Yoona which says it all lol)

Will be highly drawn and intrigued by someone with a high work ethic and high intellect. BIG bonus points if you can keep up with his sarcasm and jokes.

Earth signs are pretty physical and handsy so expect to have little personal space around him, make no mistake they enjoy this very much. He will definitely be grabbing you and picking you up often! He’ll be smirking down at you devilishly watching you get flustered backed into a corner trapped by the sheer size of his muscular body. A Capricorn male’s ego really enjoys this dynamic, trust me lol.

Also another quirky male Capricorn trait that actually applies to Aqua & Gem as well… They like to initiate all the touchy feely stuff - What I mean by that is they can get easily spooked by clinginess too early on. These three signs want romance and definitely want to feel that you’re into them but they also are innately independent and enjoy relationships where their partner can also go off into the world and thrive in their own way and meet back together in the middle. So long as you can find a happy balance, when you are together you won’t have to initiate anyways honestly because he’ll be the one pulling you.

Okay let's talk about Juno & Eros - Juno in Capricorn is about serious, loyal, long term commitment though they tend to marry later in life once they’ve already achieved the things they want to for themselves which I can see being the case for Johnny as well especially with his current career.

18+ Preferences:

Eros in Cap where to begin - high libido, stimulated by visuals and touch. Wear interesting colors, patterns, textures to catch his eyes & his hands - lacy lingerie is a plus the texture will really excite him and the feminine look will please his earthy traditional cap side. If you really wanna have him drooling throw in some spicy contrasts like a leather choker with the lace set and you’ll also set off his Aqua, Gem, and Leo placements as well ;)

Tends to bounce back and forth between fucking you like you’re a cheap groupie whore and taking his time staring you in the eyes and kissing you passionately as he’s stomach deep - no inbetween but really who’s complaining??

DOM KINK - NOT UP FOR DEBATE he has THREE Capricorn placements for fucksake meaning 3 cardinal signs which are literally called “the INITIATORS” plus all his other fixed personality placements

More of the classy rich ceo vibes kind of dom (suits, expensive cologne and jewelry, leather, black and red binds) - takes you to bougie hotels when he really wants to ramp it up and not have to care who hears. You can expect not to sleep those nights but he’ll damn sure pamper you afterwards with cuddles, food, and a spa date.

Now...with all his Air sign placements...I have to say it...he’s a kinky ass dude. Few things are off the table, but he’s also super content with “normal” stuff too. It’s more about the person and experience for him than doing the wildest things possible. So if it feels natural and right then he’s down.

Don’t be surprised if he wants to tie you up like a pretzel or role play because he’s definitelyyy going to ask. Well actually he’d probably just buy whatever outfit or binds he wanted to use and casually be like “look what I got for us baby” as if it’s matching charm bracelets or something. The good news is he’ll dress up and get into it with you and he’s super receptive to your boundaries, fantasies and making it enjoyable as possible for you too.

If you flip the script on him and suddenly break the norm either by taking the initiate/lead first or trying something new he will absolutely combust 🤯 and be in the palm of your hand staring in absolute awe and fascination till he can’t take it anymore and reclaims his spot as the one in control

Nudes, videos, and phone sex when apart are a definite and they really keep the passion burning for him which is honestly VERY important and don’t worry he’s NOT shy and you will be grateful for the beautiful collection of photos and videos 🤤

Boredom for Aquas, Gems, and Caps can quickly lead into self-sabotaging behaviors and/or wandering eyes not because they don’t value loyalty but that they really need and benefit from mental stimulation and feeling wanted so when that’s gone they can pull away

Honestly pretty much any type of lingerie or outfit will turn him on because the most arousing part for him is knowing that you spent time doing such a naughty thing for his sake

Breeding kink - 3 earth placements and has said himself in interviews he would’ve started having kids at 25 if he wasn’t an idol soooooo that’s a definite. He imagines you pregnant with his baby and it makes him super soft and warm which quickly turns to super turned on. He loves the primal marking aspect of claiming you in such a way and also watching you unravel to the point of begging him to do it. Even if it’s just “play” he loves it and will probably think about it a lot more than you know. If you ever do it for real he will be utterly and completely obsessed with you forever and be practically more excited about all the stages of your pregnancy than you are

#nct #nct 127 #johnny suh #nct Johnny #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct astrology #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smut #Johnny suh fluff #Johnny suh smut

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Full moon meetings

Werewolf!Daryl Dixon x Reader

You get stuck in the woods, surrounded by walkers when something saves your life.

Running from walkers was terrible. The only upside here was that you were alone and you could hide way easier than with a group. The other bad part was that it was currently late at night and you had to leave most of your stuff at your campsite because of the small herd that woke you up. The slightly better part was the full moon brightening the area which helped you spot a cabin up ahead to hide in until the walkers passed.

You rushed in and blocked the door behind you, waiting for the herd to pass. When it finally did you carefully scouted the way you came from and backtracked towards your campsite with the hopes that everything was still fine. On your way back you managed to avoid running into another small group of walkers but your camp was ravaged. You could find two knives that you took with you but the bag of food you had to leave behind was trampled completely. Now you were stuck in the woods, alone and with no food.

Your group had ditched you after you've gotten in a fight with someone and they all chose their side instead of yours. You sighed and dug around for anything that was still good enough to take with you and left for the cabin again. Memories of the fight that got you into this mess kept repeating in your head, causing you to not notice a ditch that you casually stepped into and slipped with a shriek, alarming all the walkers you so desperately tried to avoid. This time you didn't have enough time to escape and ended up surrounded, slowly taking down stumbling walkers but it wasn't long before you had them all getting too close too fast and there was no way out of this for you this time.

Not until you heard more growling, but a different kind then walkers' growls. You cowered down and hid your head between your knees, just waiting for it all to be over with as the growling became louder and the shine of the moon seemed to disappear underneath you. There was more growling and a lot of movement but nothing seemed to be directed at you and it surprised you how long you were actually surviving this whole thing. When the walkers' growls died down and the movements seemed to stop, the moon shone on the ground near you again and you carefully lifted your head to look at what happened, only to touch your nose against something wet before opening your eyes. You jumped up with a scream and ran off in the opposite direction, frantically looking back to see a giant creature standing among the corpses of the walkers that surrounded you just now. It didn't seem to move as you slowed your run and rounded it from a large distance, back on your way to the cabin to hole up in for the night, hoping the creature wasn't gonna attack you when it got hungry again. Finally back at the cabin you sat down and let out all the anger and frustration you had bottled up and cried into the murky bed that sat in the far corner. A group of walkers got in the way of his search for food. These nights were best for hunting and he always brought back the largest catch for the community. the ones who knew never spoke about it, and the ones who didn't never seemed to question it and somehow all accepted that the moonlight helped seeing late at night so it was easier to make multiple kills in one night. The group of walkers was a big one, but split after a noise somewhere further down into the woods which he also decided to follow. He came across a small campsite with only one sleeping bag and minimal supplies when another small group passed through, ruining everything in sight. He decided to watch from a distance to see what the walkers were fixated on and after a while of observing he ended on a survivor in the middle of another small section of the herd, surrounded and unable to get out by themselves. He watched as the person gave up and crawled down. As if his body moved on its own he jumped in and started gnawing away at the walkers, clawing and biting at them until all of them were down. He stepped away from the girl and sniffed around her, trying to smell for other humans or any sign of a walker bite but he found none. While he was busy she had raised her head and bumped her nose against his and jumped up with a shriek. He stepped back in confusion and stared as she ran off into the distance. He stalked her back to the cabin and decided to go back to hunting after seeing she got in safe.Normally he'd store his kills in the cabin but for now he'd have to think of something else.

You woke up later, your eyes still hurt from crying so it took a while longer to get adjusted to the darkness. When you were able to see properly again you checked out the cabin again, better this time now that you were safe and rested. While staring at the far wall you dragged yourself out of bed, stepping on something and dropping to the floor. Said something moved. "What the.. Shit!!" You called out as you tried to get away from the thing that you ran into earlier. It was large, covered in fur, and ..snoring? No, that wasn't a snore. That was more of a huff. Shit, you woke it up. It grumbled as it opened an eye to see what happened and saw you on the floor, staring in fear. It decided to get up and move further away from the bed and plop down on the floor again, keeping an eye on you until it had settled and closed them again to continue its sleep. Carefully getting back up you to make it back to the bed you spotted something near the door. Taking a better look you saw it was a pile of animals, not chewed down or torn apart but seemingly skillfully hunted. From what you could see there wasn't a lot of blood on them but their necks were clawed open or twisted in a gross way so you stopped looking and lied back down. Rest didn't really come anymore so when it was getting brighter outside you carefully snuck out of the cabin with all your stuff and left without waking the thing that accompanied you.

"I'm heading back to my group now, bye." You whispered softly as you closed the cabin door and walked off to what you hoped was your next safe stop and some food.

After what felt like an eternity you managed to catch a fish to fry and finally eat something. You took a break at the riverside and moved on after you had rested enough. You walked for a bit when you ended up on a road with a sign telling you about a place called Alexandria, a safe space according to the writing. It felt like a dream come true and you quickly made your way towards where the sign told you to go and close to sundown you finally arrived at the gates. You were quickly called after by someone on top of the gates. They asked you all kinds of questions  after someone opened one part of the gates before letting you in. A small group had gathered already and a guy named Aaron had given you some water and was talking to you together with another guy who introduced himself as Rick. He was a lot less nice than Aaron but you understood where his concerns came from. "She's fine. Quit bein' harsh on her." A gruff voice spoke from behind them. A guy with long shaggy hair moved into the group and you tried your hardest to remember if you ever saw him before but you had no idea who he was. "Ya said ya were goin' back to yer group. Why're ya here alone?" The two other men looked at him with confused looks on their faces but you tried to go along with what he said. "Yeah, I don't have a group. Thanks again for saving my ass. I didn't want to be bothering you any more than I already did." You said apologetic, hoping you came across convincing enough. "S'alright. good ya found this place." He added before going into a discussion with the other two, just out of your earshot. The man named Rick came back and brought the news that you were accepted into their community as long as you posed no threat to anyone and pulled your weight in the group. You agreed to all the terms he gave you and led you to an empty home where you could live for tonight. They all understood you were tired and left you alone for the time being. After you cleaned yourself up you went to sit down on your porch to take in your surroundings. It all felt surreal, it looked like this place had never even seen a walker at all.

"Hey, you." The guy from before made his way over to your porch and sat down next to the bench, keeping an acceptable distance to not scare you off. You welcomed him and moved down to sit closer so you could talk easier. "You saved me last night, didn't you." You asked quietly, not sure if it was something okay to ask about. He nodded and thanked you for not freaking out about it. "S'alright. My name's Daryl."

"Thank you for saving my ass, really. And for  saying what you did when I got here." You had introduced yourself before at the gate and now you talked about how you lost your group and ended up in the area. It was clear you were skilled enough to survive on you own as long as you didn't get caught off guard. "So, am I allowed yo ask about last night?" You wondered carefully, earning a smile and a nod. He told you about his hunting trips during the full moons and the further his story went, the more he wondered how you were so calm about it all. "I guess I have a soft spot for big monsters that are nice to people? I used to watch old monster movies for days on end before al of this." You turned away shyly. "I gotta admit, I've always been a sucker for werewolves." Saying that out loud made you want to curl up and disappear, but instead of being answered with something hurtful or being laughed at, you got a genuine smile and a "Glad I saved yer ass, then." He replied casually. "Finally someone who ain't scared of that side." The sad tone in his voice was hard to miss now and you felt bad for him. You gave him your biggest smile and leaned closer to him. "I like both of your sides."

You were new here and it was all still a little scary, but you knew it was all going to be alright with your big, not so bad wolf at your side.

#daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #twd #twd imagine #twd x reader #twd oneshot #daryl dixon oneshot #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead imagine #the walking dead oneshot #the walking dead #werewolf au #werewolf!daryl dixon #sometimes i write

[geniusgub]

sweatpants//spencer reid

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing really. sad spencer for about two seconds.

word count: 2.7k

i have plenty more one shots on my wattpad so let me know if any of you want to see more of this type of writing :) make sure to reblog and comment :))

i fell in love with spencer reid the moment i met him. i fell in love with absolutely everything about him. his smile lit up the little bookstore as his glasses drifted further and further down his nose, and his hair hung over his forehead in messy, unbrushed curls. from the first time we locked eyes after he got a book down from the top shelf for me, i envisioned our whole future together.

we saw each other casually after our first meeting despite how badly i wanted more. we quickly realized that we frequented the little bookstore at the same time on saturdays and we just began to "accidentally" run into each other over and over at the same exact day and time. of course, i made sure to be there every saturday for the next three months just for the chance of seeing him.

i finally got the balls to ask him out after the fifth month of these meetups. he seems surprised and he blushed, then tugged on his tie to loosen it around his neck. he accepted quickly and we went bowling the next week. we were both horrible and eventually asked to put the bumpers up because the amount of gutter balls we were throwing were astronomical. but that "first" date was the first time i noticed something very important about spencer reid.

he wears a variation of the same outfit every single day, no matter what he's doing.

sweater vests, button ups, slacks, ties, and converse. sometimes a cardigan. these items get mixed and matched everyday and sometimes don't match, but the chaos of his outfit colors just suits him. and it suits his penchant for wearing mismatched socks. but i continued to realize more and more about his wardrobe as we spent more time together.

if we went out: slacks, button up, tie, converse.

if we had dinner at his apartment: slacks, button up, sweater vest, tie, converse.

if we cuddle on the couch: pajamas.

there's no in-between with him and it took me a while to decide if i loved this or thought it was odd. i landed somewhere in the middle. he would sometimes start to squirm in the middle of dinner and go to change into pajamas to be more comfortable.

i never commented on this because i knew he liked the way he dressed and i didn't want him to think i hated it. he's already an insecure person, despite me loving him with my whole heart and soul, and i'd feel so horrible if i added onto that. so i would sit through the squirming and the tie-tugging and the quick unlacing of shoes after a long day of converse wearing. i grinned and gave him lots of kisses because i love him regardless of his fashion choices. or lack there of.

but spencer continues to grow and thankfully, i grow with him. i start a new job and spencer continues to thrive at the bau. i move into his apartment and he decides that this is the perfect time for a change. a new haircut. super short on the sides and long on the top. i nearly keeled when i saw how utterly handsome he was with his new haircut. i jumped his bones immediately.

but the sweater vests and same brown cardigan didn't quite hit the spot anymore. i would find spencer standing in front of the mirror before work, silently wondering if the black or brown cardigan would look better with his gray sweater vest. still, it was endearing but eventually it becomes too much.

i pass a department store everyday on my way home from work and it started to pique my interest. one day when i got off work early and knew spencer wouldn't be home, i stopped off. the store was huge and had a humongous selection of styles and brands to choose from. i knew i had to bring spencer.

when i told him i wanted to take him shopping, he tilted his head in confusion like an adorable puppy. "what do you need? new sweaters? it is almost winter and i know you got rid of most of your winter clothes when the summer came. did you—"

"no, honey," i laughed, silencing his confused, off-topic rant. "i'm taking you shopping. for you."

another head tilt. "for me? i don't need anything."

"i know you don't need anything," i clarified, running my hands through his freshly cut hair, "but i want to treat you. and besides, i think you've outgrown some of your wardrobe and it's time to get some new items."

so that leaves us now, walking hand in hand into the department store. he's holding me tighter than usual as i lead him to the men's section, but i don't complain. i know he gets nervous in public places and i have no problem with a bit of coddling.

"so, i was thinking," i say as i flip through a rack of undershirts, "you could get some new dress pants. maybe a pair of jeans. maybe some blazers or just suit jackets. that way your style can grow but you can also wear your trusty button ups and ties underneath."

spencer pouts. "i like it better when we shop for you."

i stifle a laugh as i find an appealing gray blazer and search for spencer's size. "and why's that, bub?"

"because then you get to pick out cute clothes and i can watch you try them on."

"well, this time, i'll get to watch you try them on," i wink and hand the blazer over to him. "hold that. please and thank you."

spencer huffs and drops my hand so he can hold the hanger of the blazer. i continue walking through the racks and in my peripherals, i can see spencer glancing around the store and at the racks surrounding us. he follows behind me like a lost puppy, the amount of items in his hands growing as i pass every rack.

"how would you feel about," i pick out a set of matching maroon pants and a maroon blazer, "this color?" i told it up to spencer's chest. he looks down at the garment and scrunches up his nose. "no? that's okay. i think navy's suit you better anyway. no pun intended."

"babe?" he wonders softly as i move over to a rack of ties. "why are you doing this?"

"doing what?" i pick up a tie that is blue with pink flamingoes on it and drape it over his shoulder.

"taking me shopping. wanting to redo my wardrobe or something."

"well," a new tie on his shoulder- a yellow base with blue whales, "you have had the same wardrobe since i met you, and that was many years ago. you've grown up, spencer. maybe some new clothes could reflect that."

i watch a pout come to his face and his shoulders deflate. "you don't like the way i dress?"

i pout right back at him, trying to not seem so mocking in my expression. "i love the way you dress. but i think it might be time to replace that same brown sweater vest you've had since college. that's what i'm talking about. we don't have to do this if you don't want. we can go home."

spencer thinks for a second. he adjusts his hold on the handful of blazers and trousers in his arms and takes another glance at them. "i'll give these a try."

the pride swells in my chest and nearly bursts out. it's no secret that spencer hates change. he would rather his life stays exactly the same all the time. meals, furniture arrangement, train schedule, his wardrobe. clearly, he would rather wear the same clothes for the rest of his life than branch out a bit. so him agreeing to do just that nearly makes me cry right in the middle of the department store.

we push on and spencer continues to trail behind me and hold the clothes i pick. once his knees are practically buckling under the weight of the chosen clothes, i agree to let him start part two. the fitting room.

he disappears into a room and i sit across from the door in a fluffy armchair that probably has more germs on it than a public bathroom. okay, maybe that's just dramatic. but it has enough germs that i'm sure spencer would refuse to sit here, or maybe even get grossed out that i'm sitting on it.

"uh," i hear my boyfriends voice from behind the door, "i think i did it."

i hold in my giggle. "you think?"

"i mean, i put together an outfit. don't know if it's any good. it's definitely not as good as the things you put together."

"just let me see."

the door pops open and my jaw nearly hits the floor. my spencer is standing there in navy slacks, a navy blazer, a vest, button up, and a tie. he looks exactly like i expected him too. my same loving, quiet, genius boyfriend but much older and mature. he looks phenomenal.

but spencer scrunches up his nose and turns on his toes to look in the full length mirror. "i feel like all of this is too busy. there's too much happening."

"no, baby, not at all," i come up behind him and slide my hands across his back and then around his waist. "it's such a good look on you. it's spencer reid but as an adult."

he furrows his eyebrows and looks at me through the mirror. "are you implying i dressed like a child before?"

"no, no, not at all," i nudge his waist and he spins back to me. "it's a perfect outfit. you put it together perfectly. the colors, the different pieces."

spencer's face lights up as he watches me adjust the lapel of his jacket. "really?"

"yes!" i smooth down the shoulders and then tug on the cuff links. "it's perfectly your style. you don't think so?"

"mm," he looks back down at his own body and shakes out his arms a little. "i guess it is. it's just...different."

"it is different but it's a good different. you're still the same old genius who could go on for hours about mushrooms or doctor who or whatever. so you," i pat his shoulder and go up on my toes to kiss his cheek, "get into a new outfit and show me again, okay?"

spencer agrees and closes the fitting room door. we stay at the store for nearly two hours, picking out and trying on potential outfits. spencer even starts picking items on his own, but he comes to me in the cutest way to ask if i like the things he's picked out. i always do. and even if it's not my favorite piece, he obviously likes it so i tell him i love it.

we spend hundreds and split the bill. i insisted i pay because i was the one who brought him here, but he insisted he pay because the clothes are for him. we found a happy medium.

i don't know what i thought was going to happen after we basically replaced his wardrobe. apparently, i didn't think about what the next work day would be like. because i wake up before spencer and go to make breakfast and only listen to him shower and get dressed.

"good morning!" spencer chirps, practically skipping into the kitchen.

"morning!" i say back, putting pancakes on a plate for him. "here's your—" and i absolutely freeze in my spot at the sight of him in a dark tan jacket and slacks, a purple button up, and a matching gray tie. his hair is perfectly swooped across his forehead and he's grinning, practically glowing in his new outfit. "holy shit."

"you like it?" he holds up his arms a bit as if to gesture to his appearance.

i just stand and stare at him for another minute, clutching the plate in my hand so tightly that i fear i might break it. but spencer chuckles, taking it from me and placing it in front of the chair he always has breakfast in.

"i might not let you out of the house looking this good," i finally manage to say. "you'll come home with a new girl on your arm and forget all about me."

spencer pouts. "i'd never do that to you."

i grab onto his cheeks and lay a huge kiss on his lips. "i know you wouldn't. you look amazing, spence. even better than yesterday."

spencer comes home that night and beams about the compliments he got from his coworkers today and thanks me for encouraging him to expand his wardrobe. i don't accept his thanks because i'm just happy to see him feeling more confident in himself than ever.

however, my job is not done yet.

as much as he loves his new clothes, i give him a few weeks to adjust to his new normal. i let him get used to needing a few extra minutes in the morning to arrange an outfit and to the washing process before i spring something new on him. but once i can tell he's completely comfortable with his new wardrobe, i stop at the department store after work again.

"spence?" i call into the apartment as i kick my shoes off, clutching the paper bag in my hand.

"hi!" he calls back, emerging from the study with a book in his hand. "you're late."

i hold up the bag for proof. "i stopped at the store again." spencer follows me into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed in anticipation. "well, first, i saw a couple more ties that i liked," i take those out of the bag and throw them over his shoulder. "but i got these!"

i pull out three perfectly folded pairs of sweatpants and four plain colored tee shirts. spencer unravels each item and then looks up with his eyebrows furrowed. "i don't get it."

"okay," i giggle, placing my hands on his shoulders, "when i go to work, i wear my skirts and blouses and heels, right?"

like the puppy he is, he tilts his head to the side in confusion. "right."

"and when i got to sleep, i wear pajamas. but between the blouse and the pajamas, i wear sweats. you, my love," i boop his nose and instantly, an adorable pink hue paints his cheeks, "don't own sweats. you go from suits to pajamas. and again, i'm not saying that i don't love the way you dress. i'm just looking out for your comfort. if you hate them, i'll return them. simple as that."

he runs his hands over the tee shirts and runs it between his fingers. "they are really soft."

"i got the ones that are 100% cotton because i know you like how it feels."

"i'll try it," he concedes, smiling up at me. "thank you. you're too good to me."

"you deserve the world, angel face."

the next day, he gets called away for a case and i don't see him for almost two weeks. we call and text as much as possible, but we both get so busy that it's nearly impossible. so i stick to sending him good morning and goodnight texts and praying that he comes home in one piece.

after nearly two and a half weeks without him, i come home and see his car in the parking garage where it always is. i squeal, running all the way to the apartment and bursting through the door.

spencer is lounging on the couch, thankfully in one piece, and reading a book, dressed in gray sweatpants and a white tee shirt. he looks up and grins when i enter, standing up and pulling me into his arms.

"i can't believe you're sitting here," i mumble into his neck, "and looking so good when i'm not around."

spencer laughs into my shoulder, kissing my small bit of exposed skin. "well, you're here now so you can enjoy it."

"you look so fucking hot," i blurt out, grabbing a handful of his cotton shirt and tugging him towards the bedroom. "let me show you just how hot i think you are."

"god, i love this new wardrobe."

#spencer reid #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #dr reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #mgg

[streaksofpurple]

You don’t know BTS at all!

You distract Yoongi with a quiz on his own group.

--------------

The sun was shining brightly through the windows of the living room, flooding the open space with a natural illumination. The light was especially noticeable flicking off their coffee mugs and some glossy photos that littered the coffee table.

Yoongi and Hoseok were seated on the adjacent couch in their sweats, shifting between various relaxed positions all morning while sorting through the images. They were piecing together booklets for the deluxe version of their new album and along with the images, had markers, lyric sheets, stickers, scissors; several supplies spread on the table to help them customize the blank pages of the booklets they’ve been assigned.

They had been in the living room working all morning and it was early in the afternoon when you finally made an appearance.

You walk into the living room, dressed just as comfortable and casual as them. “Hey Yoongi?” you ask in a soft voice, breaking the silence.

“Hm?” He hums in response to both your question and acknowledging your presence while doodling on the corner of a page with thick blue marker.

“What’s Jimin’s favorite color?”

“Umm...red.” His eyes never leave his drawing as he answers and it sounds like he had trouble thinking of a color in general at the moment, fully entranced in his handiwork.

Hoseok furrows his brows in disagreement to his answer but doesn’t say anything, still focused on putting his selected pages in order.

You write down his answer in the magazine you’re holding before seating yourself on the arm of the chair across from the coffee table.

“What’s is V’s favorite movie?”

“Titanic.” Yoongi answers without thinking and you can tell he isn’t making any effort to answer.

This time Hoseok scrunches his face up in disagreement, staring at Yoongi in surprise. Yoongi catches his glance and shrugs his shoulders quickly. They both know that is wrong.

Yoongi caps his marker and leans back, wondering where this sudden pop quiz on his bandmates came from, but of course, still answers because you’re the one asked him. “When he sits down and his thighs spread to twice their size.”

You again write down his answer and turn the page of your magazine.

“Okaaaaay,” you smooth the page out, creasing the center. “What scares Jin the most?”

You almost choke on your laughter. He definitely isn’t trying now. Hoseok’s head falls back and his pages fall to his lap at the response and now is laughing with you as Yoongi sits there expressionless looking back and forth between the two of you.

“You’re not even trying, Yoongs,” you finally spit out when you are finished snickering.

Your boyfriend has all but forgotten about his booklet now, focused on you and your little questionnaire. His lips curl up as he realizes how your presence lights up the whole room. Hair half up and sweats rolled up to your calves, you silently demand his attention. He wonders how he’s gotten through the day so far without you.

“What is this all about, y/n?” The question was blunt, but his soft expression at you indicates you are a welcomed distraction to their task-at-hand.

You stand back up, promptly flipping back to the title page to get the title correct “This is the ‘How well do you know your favorite idols BTS?!’ quiz.”

Hosoek is fully invested in the exchange now, his legs pulled up to his chest, his organized sheets left for later on the table. “What’s the next question?,” he is curious to know what other random factoid a random magazine had dug up on his crew.

“Jungkook has a black belt in which martial art?” You spare a glance to each man in front of you, waiting for a response.

Yoongi’s eyes turn to his left to the younger man next to him, wordlessly inviting him to answer first.

Hoesoek shakes his head, refusing to help. “Oh no, these are your answers.”

Yoongi sighs, he wanted to hear someone else play along but enjoys his small audience’s reactions to his dumb answers. “Fishing.”

Hobi drops his jaw, pretending to be offended. “I’ve never even been to Jamaica!” He smacks Yoongi and the two swat at each other for a few seconds. You smile at how the grown men revert to small children when they get on each other's nerves.

You snort and write down his obviously fake answer anyway.

“What is J-Hope’s favorite vacation destination?”

Your boyfriend moves into the protection of a corner of the couch, rubbing an itch on his arm. “Jamaica.”

“You call yourself a fan?! You don’t know BTS at all!!” You read out the highlight section headlining his results in a dramatic voice while the men burst into laughter. Hobi can hardly keep himself on the couch, clapping and bouncing with cackles Yoongi’s laugh is low but the movement of his bouncing shoulders shows how entertaining he finds it.

You decide to cut the quiz short, realizing that they still actually had work to do which they were working diligently until you arrived.

“Alright let’s add up your points.” You check the front and back of the page Yoongi answered then skip ahead a couple pages in your magazine to where the quiz results are.

“0 to 5 points,” both men smiled in anticipation of the obvious failure that awaited Yoongi.

The two members in your living room finally stop laughing, letting out heavy breaths and wiping tears as they calm down from their hysterics.

You continue reading the text of his result in your pronounced voice while they’re still laughing. “You know nothing about our precious Bangtang boys! You’re the opposite of RM in the intelligence department and had no business taking this quiz in the first place.”

You gasp at the harsh words. “Wow, that’s brutal,” you critique aloud but your voice barely resonates above the guffaws still coming from the couch.

Yoongi’s lips flatten and embarrassment creeps up, him refusing to return your gaze he just knows you have settled on him. No matter how long you’ve dated, you never get tired of him flushing so quickly.

“You should Google them,” Hoseok suggests to his bandmate, winking at you to play along and of course you do:

“Definitely. Especially that Suga guy. He’s amazing.”

“Yeah, he’s such a good rapper.” Hoseok and you were a teasing team and Yoongi was trapped.

“He’s so handsome,” - you finish with a bang - “and don’t get me started on how smart he is.” Yoongi’s cheeks turn bright red as you and Hobi share a grin of accomplishment. Teamwork makes the dream work.

Your grin of tag-team accomplishment settles into a smile of personal satisfaction. Your little check up on the duo was a success and you got to embarrass Yoongi in the process. You turn your focus back to the hallway you came from, returning to the bedroom you and Yoongi shared, leaving the bandmates and friends to do their work once again.

“Alright, alright,” Yoongi dismisses all of your compliments, reaching for the pages of his booklet-in-progress and a sticker sheet, not wanting to look at either of you.

Hobi follows suit, returning to his work. His personalized book was nearly completed.

#bts #bts imagines #bts fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi #suga #hoseok #j hope #bts fluff #is this even fluff? #someone message me telling me what genre this is #fic #things I've written #bts drabble