A guy doing marine research into phytoplankton is far out to sea and waiting for the samples to be ready when he spots a fast-moving ripple in the water up ahead.
Fully aware that this spot is home to a migratory orca pod, he assumes he's stumbled across an orca hunting a seal and settles against the railing to watch, because it's not every day you get to see that.
The ripples get closer, the shadows in the water more defined, the water choppier, and suddenly the orca and its unfortunate prey are zooming directly towards the boat and he's waiting, breath held, for them to duck right underneath--
When the water breaks, the ocean sprays, and he's suddenly smacked fully in the face by a very wet, very confused, and very pretty merman, throwing them both down onto the deck while the boat rocks as a confused and now quite hungry orca dives beneath it.
The merman, it turns out, thought that the boat was an ice float and didn't realise his mistake until it was too late. But he's very thankful for the impromptu rescue, and wow don't you have nice arms, and holy shit you've got legs, can I touch them? Is that weird? Can I touch them anyway? And your hair--
So of course they get to talking because they're both utterly fascinated with the other, and soon the sun has set and the samples are long-since ready and the moonlight is making the ocean look black and they part with the knowledge that they'll never meet again, and a kiss, and a lingering look over the shoulder for all the things that can't be...
And the researcher gets back to land, moors his boat, readies his samples. He packs up his things, shoves them into his bags, and prepares to go home. He steps onto the jetty boards and thinks of the merman and the solid wood beneath his feet seems to sway for more than one reason.
There's a splash. He turns, pulled as if by the tide, and there's a ripple in the water. A face. A pair of eyes made black by the moonlight.
And this is how the researcher acquires a merman boyfriend who helps him find samples and the merman acquires a human boyfriend who rescues him from whales.
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You're Grounded
So we all know of Dan's whole planetary annihilation in the past leading to heroes from the future showing up to stop him, right?
Well I'm gonna take that and tweak it a bit.
Time Traveling Hero goes back in time, sees Dan talking to a ghost informing him that the High Queen has finally allowed him back into the Royal Castle and he says "Can't wait." With a nasty smile.
Dan had lost his temper a few months ago, and mom the twerp had told him he had to go outside and think about what he did. But now, he was finally being let back in. And he had a few ideas on how to mess with him in retaliation for being reverse-grounded.
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Robin has a love-hate relationship with Steve-and-Eddie. Love, because those are her best friends and her best friends are in love with each other and they never leave her out of anything. Hate, because sometimes she wishes they would because she keeps accidentally third-wheeling herself.
She doesn't hate it that much though, if she's honest. It's just fun to complain, especially because it riles the both of them up.
But right now, she's being quiet so she can witness one of her secretly-favorite Steve-and-Eddie rituals—of which there are many, but this one is silly and endearing.
It starts like this:
The waitress sets down their drinks, lemonade for Robin, coca-cola for Steve, and a cherry soda for Eddie.
"Don't you dare," Eddie says, even as Steve reaches for Eddie's drink, slipping his straw in next to Eddie's and slurping obnoxiously. Eddie doesn't even pretend to stop him anymore. "Unbelievable."
"I just want to taste it!"
"You could just get a whole glass of it! All for yourself!!"
"It's too sweet, I don't want a whole glass."
"What, so you think you can just help yourself to mine?"
Steve's grin is far too smug, even for Robin, even when Steve slides it to her so she can take a sip. Steve is right, it is really too sweet and she wrinkles her nose, but it's worth it for the offended gasp Eddie makes when she slides it back to him.
The diner is their favorite, because everyone who works there has given up on understanding their weird dynamic: Robin and Steve squished into on side of the booth while Eddie's spread out on the other, Robin making gagging noises whenever Steve brushes against her, even though they never sit in any other configuration. The staff has long since stopped asking which of them was her boyfriend, and that's perfect for her.
Besides, she knows that under the table, Steve and Eddie have their ankles locked together like the disgusting love-sick dorks that they are.
The Steve-and-Eddie show continues when their meals come out. Chicken fingers and fries for Steve because he's an actual child, and breakfast for dinner for Eddie because he likes to be contrary. And then the real performance begins.
They "fight" over the ketchup bottle, which really means that Eddie picks it up and Steve snatches it out of his hands—only for Steve to spread it over Eddie's scrambled eggs (gross) for him before he adds a disgusting amount to his own basket.
Eddie makes a game of stealing Steve's fries when he thinks he isn't looking (Steve is, he's tallying each one up in his head, Robin knows this because she's doing it too), and when he finally "catches" Eddie in the act, he steals Eddie's last piece of bacon—the one that's sat untouched for the last five minutes for this very reason.
Then, Eddie's "forcing" Steve to try his grits, like he does every time, and game eats a spoonful of it, every time, and then complains at length how much he hates it (and he actually does hate it, the texture is just not for him, Robin knows because it's the same for her too).
And then they do the worst, most disgusting thing ever: they split the pancake in half. Without fail. Without argument. Every time.
Robin, slurping on her strawberry milk shake that she will NEVER share with anyone ever, thinks that stupid pancake is like the symbol of their love or something. Sh's sure if they weren't in public, they'd be feeding it to each other.
"What?" They say it in unison, and Robin hates when they do that to her.
(Eddie complains about it right back at her, because she and Steve do the same thing to him all the time. They should blame Steve, since he's the common denominator, but he just looks so pleased about them both that they can't rag on him for it, so Eddie remains Robin's sworn enemy and vice versa.)
"What what?" she sneers at them, voice quiet. "You two are disgusting, it's like you're making out right in front of me right now."
"What are you, homophobic?" Eddie hisses back, just as quiet. "I'm in love with your best friend, Buckley. I'm making out with him in front of you for the rest of your life."
"Ugh! I hate you so much."
"Right back at you."
And then they start kicking at each other beneath the table, no doubt catching Steve's ankles in the crossfire. He doesn't tell them to stop though, and Robin can see that pleased, sappy smile on his stupid face out of the corner of her eye, so she lands an exceptionally harsh blow to Eddie's shin in retaliation for making her best friend so happy. He digs his heel into her toes in return.
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Hero stares down at the paper in front of them with mounting dread. Their stomach is all tied in knots, and they feel a cold sweat at the back of their neck.
"You know, you don't have to do this if you truly don't want, I'm not forcing you." Villain purrs behind Hero, voice against their ear. The threat is unspoken. If Hero doesn't sign, they'll continue with their rampage. Continue killing, destroying, maiming.
The pen shakes in Hero's hand as they continue staring down at the paper. It's just a piece of paper, made of thick cardstock, cream white. Yet Hero has been staring at it for fifteen minutes, as if it'll bite them.
Certificate of Marriage
The font is too pretty, all stately and official looking. Hero feels as if they may throw up any minute.
"I don't understand why.." Hero finally finds their voice, asking the question that's been bouncing around in their mind since Villain first pulled the paper out as they suggested a truce.
"You already know my terms. In exchange for leaving your hero friends unharmed, for leaving the civilians of the city unharmed, I want you." Villain's voice is something possessive, filled with fire and heat. "This just makes it more official. More binding."
Hero shudders, and they feel as Villain steps closer behind them, a dark shadow looming over them. They know this goes beyond simply wanting to make their agreement more binding and they both know it.
"You know it's not legitimate- it's not legally binding without an officator." Hero stumbles over their words, not even sure if that's true.
Villain snorts, not usually one to be worried about legality of course. They put a hand to Hero's shoulder, warm and rough.
"I can find a priest to threaten. No one needs to know how and when we signed. Unless you'd rather make a big ceremony of this." Villain's tone is now teasing, amused by the idea of a wedding. "That could certainly be done if you prefer."
Flushing hot, Hero shakes their head quickly. No, they would not prefer that. This is already nerve-wracking and humiliating as is. A part of them wants to outright refuse, to tear the paper the shreds, and throw it in their face, but Hero knows this is the chance to get Villain to back down.
"I wouldn't be unkind to you." Villain says, voice suddenly softer and more serious. They lean forward, face resting against Hero's neck. The most terrible part is that Hero knows they mean it. They wouldn't be unkind or cruel, and that makes this all the more difficult. "You'd belong to me, but I'd take care of you."
Hero already knows there's no choice. They knew from the beginning that there was no other option. They have to do what is best for everyone else. Shakily, they finally nod.
"So selfless, so sacrificial to others." Villain says as they place a feather light kiss against the shell of their ear. "We'll have to work on that once you're with me."
They take Hero's hand currently holding the pen in their own, their grasp strong, as they lift it to the paper.
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[Ghost and you cuddling in bed after a long, exhausting day]
Y/N, with chin on top of his head :
Y/N, sniffs his hair :
Y/N : Your hair smells like… roses? Is that the new shampoo?
Ghost, his head resting on your chest with comforting grip around your waist :
Ghost : I figured you’d prefer if I smelled nicer. I guess… it’s not manly?
Y/N, snickered, placed a gentle kiss on his head : I like it. It smells nice. I’m just a little surprised, that’s all.
Y/N : And you’re always manly to me, Simon. Whatever shampoo you use.
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