#now he’s invited me to his house next weekend and idk how to bring up that I’m ace so there’s no unrealistic expectations | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sunkissed-zegras · 3 months

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𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. | delicate au, jack hughes

౨ৎ ─ summary | this takes place in late august of 2023, a little before the njd season started. jack hughes dm's the girl the whole internet thinks he's dating and invites her to a pre-season get-together at his house.

─ word count | 1.9k

─ warnings | anxiety, some flirting? nothing else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe @bowen-power @ru-kru @jackhughesily @hearts-for-luke

─ ev's notes | please lmk ur thoughts on this au so far! i, of course, always read ur guys feedback so anything would be very much appreciated.

Accept message request from jhughes (jackhughes)?

jhughes: have you seen twitter? we're trending 🤣 jhughes: looks like i'm your bf now 🤷🏻🤷🏻

libbytf: yeah um i don't even know how that happened😭 libbytf: they're crazy, that's not either of us?

jhughes: it does really look like us though haha 🤣 i don't blame them

libbytf: the more i look the photos the more i disagree lol, i hope they figure it out on their own 😭

jhughes: haha yeah [seen]

jhughes: me and luke are having a pre season party, you should come if ur free jhughes: oh and if leon wants you to hahaha😭

libbytf: when is it? i'll see if i can come and if i'm in town

jhughes: next saturday at our new place

libbytf: i'll let you know!

jhughes: k lmk ( 👍🏻 )

Libby stared down at her screen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Did she just get asked out?

She received the message later that day and she was surprised that Jack Hughes had messaged her. She wasn't starstruck or anything but he didn't seem like the "dm" type, he looked more like the type to approach you in public.

She shook her head, she didn't even know if he was hitting on her. He probably wasn't even trying to come off that way, he probably just needed more people at his party. And the truth was, after the whole "Josh" thing, she didn't really have anything to do because everyone in the world was seemingly against her. The messy breakup with Josh had left her feeling exposed, as if every aspect of her personal life was now fair game for public scrutiny.

She had been under the spotlight for years now, long before she had even considered the idea of being a singer. Her sister and father were already apart of the "Hollywood" circle, she has seen this kind of stuff before. She's never been apart of the gossip, though - this was the first time she'd been in the spotlight for a bad reason.

Growing up in the shadow of her sister's and father's fame had accustomed her to the entertainment industry and all the drama that came with it. But now, as the fallout from her breakup with Josh engulfed her, Libby found herself thrust into uncharted territory. The barrage of rumors and gossip had stripped away the layers of privacy she had worked so hard to preserve, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Libby couldn't even turn to her music anymore, she felt like it was no use because the whole internet (and their moms) hated her for no reason other than her relationship, or lack thereof.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt her phone buzz on her bed. She reached for it lazily and opened it, reading the message.

leon 😛 are you down for something this weekend?

Libby typed out a quick response.

libs 🥸 depends

leon 😛 me and some of the team are gonna have a party this weekend to celebrate the start of the season, they told me to bring someone and ur all i have

leon 😛 unless u say no i'll ask someone else

libs 🥸 jack already asked me so sure :)

leon 😛 wait so ur his plus one?

libs 🥸 no bc he's the literal host, he just invited me😭😭

leon 😛 thats weird but okay, can u still be my plus one

libs 🥸 idk if that'll change anything but sure!!

She sighed at her brother's slight stupidity. It sounds like she was going to be going to the party this weekend. As she agreed, Libby couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety about attending Jack's party. The thought of facing a bunch of strangers, each with their own preconceived notions about who she was, made her stomach churn.

Before she could turn off her phone, her phone buzzed and she looked at the notification.

jhughes (jackhughes) started following you!

──

"Have you been on Twitter?" Leon spoke up as he drove, his eyes glancing toward Libby before focusing back on the road.

She shrugged, "Yeah. Why?"

"Everyone thinks you're dating Jack, it's kinda funny. Isn't this like, your first time meeting him?" Leon replied with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"It's pretty dumb, isn't it?" Libby replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "Well this is like my second or third time meeting him so it's not like we're strangers but still, we're far from strangers."

"Are you sure about that? He messaged you." Leon joked as he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. She knew he was joking but a part of her thought that maybe he was flirting with her. But Libby could not even mention that to Leon because it'll make him go crazy, staying quiet was the better option.

"Shut up," Libby mumbled as Leon laughed. "The pictures aren't even us, you know?"

"The guy looks a lot like Jack but not you. It's so funny especially because everyone swears that they know you so well but they can't even tell the difference you and some other person." Leon grinned, clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation. "Well, I guess the internet just loves drama. Can't blame them for trying to spice things up, it is fun."

"I just hope people figure it out soon," Libby sighed, glancing out of the car window at the passing city lights. "I mean, it's not like I need more rumors right now."

Leon shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. But you know what they say, any publicity is good publicity."

"Yeah at least I'll know my new album will get tons of new streams, thanks to Josh's fangirls."

"You mean dickriders? Jesus, have you seen the comments?" Leon scoffed, making a turn to Jack and Luke's home.

Libby sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back against the car seat. "Yeah, I've seen them. It's like they're just waiting for the opportunity to tear me apart completely, I can't even go on Instagram anymore."

Leon's expression softened with empathy as he reached out to place a comforting hand on Libby's arm. "They're just fucking bored, that's all. They have to tear someone down to feel better. Don't let them get to you."

Libby nodded, grateful for her brother's words of encouragement. "I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know? Feels like I'm constantly under a microscope."

Leon nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering in its support. "Yeah, I get it. But remember, those comments don't define you. You're so much more than what people say about you."

Libby managed a small smile as they reached Jack's home. The night air was crisp as Libby and Leon made their way towards Jack's home. The distant noise from the party spilled into the quiet neighborhood as they walked towards the entrance.

The home was pretty big but you weren't surprised, they were really good and popular hockey players so of course they had a big home. However, as you walked into their porch, you noticed how clean it was. Not many boys in their twenties kept their homes so clean and organized but Libby was pleasantly surprised at how clean their home was and she hadn't even been inside yet.

Leon gave the door a few knocks before the door opened to reveal Jack, a big grin on his face and a backwards cap on his head. "Leon! You made it!"

"Yeah, and I brought Libs!" Leon grinned back at Jack as his gaze finally fell on Libby, she felt his eyes scan her body before they landed on her eyes once again.

Libby felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks as she met Jack's gaze. His warm smile putting her at ease as she returned it, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in her stomach.

"Awesome! Come on in, guys." Jack ushered them inside, the sounds of the party becoming more pronounced as they stepped inside.

"There's some chips in the kitchen and you guys can just help yourself to the drinks inside the fridge, just don't drink any of our protein smoothies." Jack side glanced to Leon playfully, in which he responded with a quick fine. "Everyone's in the living room playing pool."

"I'm gonna go get a beer, if y'all don't mind." Leon called out as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Libby and Jack by the entrance.

As Leon left, Libby shifted her gaze to Jack with a warm smile. There was a brief awkward silence before Jack broke it, "I didn't know that you lived in Jersey."

"Well I don't but ever since Leon's moved here I've been spending every second at his place. I actually live in New York City but it gets a little hectic, I need a break sometimes from... everything." Libby explained as she recalled all the drama from the summer, from everything with Olivia to Josh, it was eventful.

Jack nodded, his expression sympathetic as he listened to Libby's explanation. "I get it. New York can be intense, especially with everything going on."

Libby sighed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she spoke about the challenges she faced. "Yeah, it's been a lot to deal with lately. Sometimes, it's nice to escape to somewhere quieter, you know?"

Jack's gaze softened with understanding. "I get it. I'm sorry by the way, with the whole uh... thing." Jack didn't really want to specify but they both knew as Libby nodded.

Libby gave him a sweet smile but before she could respond, Luke came in wearing a Devils jersey. "Dude I've been looking everywhere for you, there's something wrong with the-" He cut himself as he noticed Libby.

"Hey Luke." Libby greeted the tall curly-head with a grin as he walked over to where Libby was and gave her a side hug as Jack observed.

"Libby! I haven't seen you in a while, how's everything?" Luke asked casually as he pulled back.

"Can't complain." You spoke with a small grin as you looked in between the boys. "You?"

"Very excited for the new season, I don't know if you could tell." Luke chuckled as he looked down at the jersey.

Libby couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's enthusiasm. Even though she's never formally met Jack, her and Luke have a pretty good friendship through Leon. As soon as they met they clicked and now they're practically tied at the hip. "Hmm... I couldn't tell. Go Rangers, right?"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Whoa, don't you dare step foot in our homes and disrespect us like that. That is a like a slur around here." Jack shook his head playfully as him and Luke exchanged looks before all three of you busted out laughing.

"Sorry, sorry won't happen again!"

"It better not or we're gonna have to kick you out." Luke threatened with a mock-serious expression. "But seriously Jack, the TV isn't working and everyone wants to play Fifa for some reason."

Jack shrugged as he motioned to Libby towards the living room, "I don't even know if we own Fifa..."

They all entered the spacious living room where everyone was. There were some teammates who she recognized and some people she'd never seen before. Jack and Luke ventured off toward the TV, leaving Libby to go stand by the couch. She'd enjoyed the night so far but as she stood there, anxiety began to creep into her stomach.

Everyone here knew somebody and right now the only people she was close with was her brother, Luke and Jack and they were all playing Fifa right now.

"Libs, get a controller we need one more player!" Jack shouted from the coach and waved at her to come over. Libby hesitated for a moment, feeling a familiar pang of anxiety at the thought of joining a group of people she didn't know well. But as she stared back at Jack, she swallowed all her fears and walked over, taking a controller.

As she settled in next to them, Libby felt a sense of normalcy wash over her. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could just be herself, without the weight of everyone's expectations or the glare of being perceived.

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1kook · 4 years

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kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!!

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that.

—

#goldenclosetnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jjk fic #jungkook fic #bts fic #bts smut #mine

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weelittleweasley · 3 years

Text

a house on the beach (g.w.)

prompt: a little beach getaway makes you grateful for all that you have.

pairing: george weasley x fem! reader

warnings: food, mention of the war, mention of Fred’s death, mention of children

word count: 2.2k

taglist: @rosaliepostsstuff @harrysweasleys @gcdricreads @lumos-barnes @whizboingies @lumosandnoxwriting @pxroxide-prinxcesss @c-t-h @lol-idk-oops @another-lonely-heart-blog @kaseyrose96-blog @hufflepuff5972 @amourtentiaa @parseltongueswriting @shilohpug @peachypotter @spacexcowgirl @paintballkid711 @vogueweasley @freddie-weaselbee @gryffindcrghost @wand3ringr0s3 @valwritesx @sweeterthansammy @loonylovegood13 @lostaurorax

Excitement overwhelmed your senses as you dropped your bag to the floor of the house, running to the back porch and down the stairs, ignoring George’s calls, too desperate to feel the sand underneath your feet. You pried your shoes off from the long drive and plunged them into the warm sand as you sighed out with a happy giggle. The sand covered your skin as you smiled to yourself, giving your toes a wiggle before walking, more running, over to the salty ocean water.

The moment your toes touched the water, relief and relaxation flooded over you, the sound of the waves crashing on the shore, the echos of birds chirping sounded down the beach. The smell of salty air and sun cream filled your nose as you inhaled happily, finally in the place that made you happy. The early summer sun beat down on your skin, warming you through your t-shirt as you extended your arms, embracing the sensations that washed over you like the waves.

George watched you from the porch, how you happily danced in the water, waving your hands, inviting you to join him. He smiled to himself with a sigh before taking off his own shoes, joining you on the shore.

As he walked to you, he watched how the breeze moved through your hair, making it dance, as you kicked your feet in the blue water, giggling to yourself. You were unearthly, standing there in your radiance with a beaming smile on your face. George’s heart swelled in his chest as he looked upon you with love in his eyes and adoration in his heart.

When he reached you, he slipped his fingers in yours and placed a soft kiss to your lips, tilting your chin up with one of his fingers to reach your lips. “Happy?” he asked with a teasing grin on his lips as you beamed and nodded.

“Thrilled,” you giggled. “Isn’t this nice? Much needed getaway for the both of us, don’t you think?” you combed your fingers through his hair, already crunchy with sea breeze.

This holiday was unprompted, but with the booming business of the joke shoppe and your overwhelming work schedule, you both decided a getaway was much needed for the both of you. Just a quiet weekend with the two of you, enjoying some peace and quiet together. An escape to the beach seemed like the perfect place to do so considering it was one of your favorite places in the world. And George would do anything to see that smile on your face that he loved so much.

George placed a kiss to your forehead, “Much needed.” He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind you and rested his chin on the top of your head as the two of you stood and stared out at the ocean, watching the waves rise and fall and crash. You could stand there forever, in your lover’s arms, enjoying each other’s company whilst the ocean washed upon your ankles and toes every once in awhile. You sighed in contentment, not needing much more in this moment.

After about an hour of standing and walking up and down the beach, the two of you decided to unpack your overnight bags, settling yourself in the rental house. As you unpacked, you looked out the window, smiling to yourself. Right in front of the bed was a large window that faced the ocean. “Georgie?”

“Yes, my love?” he responded sweetly, looking up at you from the dresser, making your heart pitter-patter in your chest as his sweet chocolate eyes peered at you.

You nodded your head to the window. “I know I said we should sleep in this weekend, but I think we should get up for the sunrise tomorrow. We can watch it from the bed,” you suggest with a playful smile on your lips. Godric knows the two of you needed to sleep in, but the thought of watching an orangey sunrise from the bed sounded heavenly.

He gave a light chuckle before speaking, “Sounds like a plan. As long as we can go back to bed after.” You nodded excitedly which only made George laugh and walk over to you, taking you in his arms as you pressed a kiss to his jaw. “I’m glad I have you all to myself this weekend. No work, no distractions, no nothing. Just us.”

“I am, too,” you cooed back at him as he pressed his lips to yours gently, your kiss familiar and gentle. You could be hours away from shared flat, but wherever you were with George, that’s when you felt the most at home. In his arms, him holding you tight and not daring to let you. Gentle kisses pressed to lips, foreheads, and jaws, whispered I love you’s, and small giggles exchanged. This was your heaven.

The day was spent well. Laying in the sand, George’s head in your lap as you brushed his hair with one hand, the other holding a book as George closed his eyes, falling asleep to the sounds of the ocean and the sensation of you combing fingers through his hair. Every once in awhile, you lay your book down on the sand and just breathe in the salty air as the sun shone down on your skin. You smiled to yourself when you looked down at George, resting peacefully in your lap, sun cream smeared on his nose and under his eyes, making you gently giggle. He insisted he burned easily as he smeared the thick paste on his nose, refusing to blend it in. You shook your head and pressed a kiss to his freckled forehead, leaning back on your hands, sand flowing between your fingers.

The beach was empty, you and George being the only people on the beach for as far as your eye could see. It was nice, knowing that no one could disturb your peaceful getaway. Much needed after the last few years and the chaos that had weaseled its way into your lives. Some peace and quiet is exactly what you needed.

George eventually woke from his nap and insisted to go on a walk down the beach which you gladly accepted. His fingers laced with yours as you walked along the shoreline, water dancing over your feet now. George would groan each time the water caught the bottoms of his cuffed jeans, making you laugh. You looked at George with so much adoration in your eyes as he walked beside you. A shirtless wonder, his dark wash jeans hanging low on his toned body, one of his hands holding his shoes, the other cradling your hand as he pressed a kiss to it every few seconds, reminding you he was there. You’d smile sweet as you leaned over to press a kiss to his sun chapped lips.

Jokingly, George kicked over water so it splashed on you as you squealed, the cold water hitting your exposed skin. “Don’t you dare, George Weasley,” you warned him as he laughed before doing it yet again, making you break out in a run away from him, darting down the beach. But George of course wasn’t too far behind as you giggled, running away from him as he chased after you.

“Not so fast, you,” he laughed before scooping you up in his arms, peppering your face with kisses as you wildly laughed, writhing in his grip. His strong arms wrapped around you, squeezing you tight as you threw your head back with laughter, George taking the opportunity to place kisses all over your jaw and neck. “Can’t get away from me that easily.”

Back at the house, you and George munched on takeout as you two draped yourselves on the couch, soft music playing in the background. The two of you enjoyed the comfortable silence, eating your food, listening to the gentle music, legs tangled as you rested on opposite sides of the couch. As the two of you finished your dinner, George broke the silence with a quiet question. “You think we’ll have a boy or a girl first?” he asked, wiping his mouth with a crinkled napkin.

You furrowed your brows. You and George often spoke of your future, but usually about where you would move or marriage. Never really about kids. “What do you mean?”

“You know,” George smiled. “Our kids. Which do you think we’ll have first?”

With a smile, you placed your empty plate on the coffee table and scooted closer to George, wrapping your arms around his neck as he rested his hands on your hips with a small smile. “Well,” you think, searching your mind, “I don’t mind which we have first. As long as the baby is happy and healthy.”

George smiled and placed a kiss on the tip of your nose. “What names do you like?” he asked, rubbing small circles on your hip bones, smiling gently.

“For a girl...I like Giselle or Emilia,” you smiled to yourself. You had always loved those two names for your baby girl, having them in your memory since you were a fifth year. George nodded his head in agreement. “For a boy...” you trailed off as you thought. When selecting a name for your future children, you wanted to pick a name you liked, but also something with meaning. Something with significance. And that’s when it hit you. “...if it’s alright with you, G,” you started, “I’d want to name our son after Fred.”

The mention of his twin’s name tugs at George’s heart strings. Memories of his twin flood his mind and bring warmth in his chest. George missed his other half every day and it only grew. Coping with Fred’s death was brutal for George and he was thankful that he had you next to him every step of the way. Each day got a little easier, but each day he missed him more and more. George swallowed thickly before giving a shaky sigh, “Yeah. I’d like that.”

You cupped George’s cheek and brushed it softly with your thumb as he sighed, leaning into your touch. With a small smile, he bit down softly on your thumb, making you giggle lightly. “Where are we living?” you change the subject as George runs his fingers through his hair.

“Somewhere with lots of space,” he smiled. “I want the kids to have space to run and play like we did as kids,” he beamed as you smiled to yourself, combing fingers through his hair, making him melt underneath your touch. “Not too close to the shoppe, but not too far away. Somewhere just right,” he smiles softly. “Just me, you, and our nine kids,” he pokes at your sides, making you roll your eyes and laugh.

Even though you rarely spoke about children, you knew that George wanted a large family. He wanted a house full of children, loudly stomping around, filling the house with love and laughter that reminded him so of his own childhood. George wanted to have a family, you the mother of his children and the love of his life by his side. George thought about you as a mother and how loving you would be towards your future children. It made his chest warm and his cheeks red with delight.

“Well, if we’re having nine children, we’re going to need more names,” you tease him as he chuckles, placing a kiss to your chin. “So, we’ve got the house, we’ve got the kids, what else is in store for us?” you gently smile as George gives your hips a squeeze.

He thinks for a moment before a toothy grin appears on his face. “I’m going to get us a house like this one,” he suggests as you furrow your brows. “I’m going to get us a house on the beach.” But before you can interrupt him with how you both didn’t need a house like this, he starts, “You love the beach, angel. The look on your face when we first got here was priceless. I want to get you a house like this so you can feel like that whenever you want.”

Your heart swells with so much love as you sigh happily, brushing George’s cheek with your thumb. George wanted to give you the world and he would do it with a grin on his face and pep in his step. You knew growing up he didn’t have much, so the fact that he was so adamant on giving you and your future family a life he didn’t have made your heart melt. “Georgie...” you sigh.

“I want to give you the life you deserve,” he speaks simply with sincerity.

Taking his face in your hands, you place a firm kiss to his lips before pressing your forehead against his. “The life I want is a life with you,” you tell him. “I don’t need anything else, George. Just you and me.” George smiles lightly before placing one, two soft kisses on your lips. “I don’t need a house on the beach. You’re my beach,” you giggle.

He chuckles, “I like that. I’m like the sand. I get everywhere and you can’t get rid of me.” His comment makes you laugh as he cuddles closer to you, wrapping his arms around your middle, pulling you further into his lap.

#Fred and George #george weasley imagine #george weasley imagine #george weasley #george weasley x #george weasley x reader #george wealsey imagine #george weasley x reader imagine #george weasley x fem #george weasley x femreader #george weasley x fem! reader #george weasley x fem reader #Harry Potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfic #Harry Potter Smut #harry imagine

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forever-rogue · 3 years

Note

I’ve been listening to ‘tis the damn season far too many times to be healthy and idk about the end of the year, it’s always so depressive? So I’m thinking... how would Marcus Moreno comfort a girl in this situation? But they’re not officially together yet 😶💕

Perhaps some heartbreak? Perhaps some soft Marcus fluff? Both? Both!

Marcus Moreno x Fem!Reader ; warnings: slight language

Pedro Characters Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

The rain was falling down in absolute buckets and it was nearing one in the morning, and it was dark and freezing and... you shouldn't have been there, you shouldn’t have come, you shouldn’t have done a lot of things, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

You’d hastily thrown your things in the old, worn suitcase and gotten the soonest flight home. Home - your real home, the one you enjoyed being in, the one where you felt you alive and loved. Your parents’ home wasn’t home - not anymore anyway. It hadn’t been for a long time, and you should have realized that. Going back was a mistake; you should have stayed back and home and spent the holidays with Marcus and Missy, just how he had asked - insisted even. But no; you’d been stubborn and insisted that you hadn’t wanted to intrude on his celebration with his daughter, his family. You are family, Marcus promised sincerely, those chocolate brown eyes crinkling in the corners and that singular dimple proudly on display.

You panicked; your heart constricted and clenching as you listened to his words. And gods, you’d wanted to stay, wanted to say yes. But you couldn’t - couldn’t do it to your heart. You’d loved him so much it hurt, physically ached, sometimes, but you couldn’t tell him. What if he didn’t feel the same, what if he saw you as just a friend, a neighbor, something? You weren’t about to set yourself up for failure and a broken heart.

And yet...here you were, pounding on his door in the middle of the night, tears running down your cheeks as they mixed in with the fat, cold drops of rain. Heartbroken.

Joke was on you; you’d ended up in pain either way.

Tis the damn season, you’d scoff at yourself.

“Fuck,” you whispered to yourself as you lowered your hand from the door. You couldn’t be doing - showing up at his door in the middle of the night and waking him up. It wasn’t fair to him; he was such a good man, and he didn’t deserve to be forced to deal with you in this state and to pick up the pieces. It would be cruel; he was much more than just a shoulder to cry and he didn’t need to do this for you. No, you’d go home and cry it out and pick yourself up by the bootstraps just like you’d done before, “fuck.”

You wiped at your wet eyes with your even wetter sleeve, bitterly laughing at your idiotic move and turning to walk back home. Maybe the walk in the cold rain would work to bring some sort of clarity to your mind or...something. It was almost cathartic in a way; to be forced to come to terms with the choices of your actions, and inactions, as you walked home in the silence of the wee morning hours.

Just as you got to the end of the driveway, you heard the door open slowly, followed by the most reverent whisper of your name that you’d ever heard. You turned on your heel, trying to keep your lip from trembling as you looked up at Marcus. He pulled the door fully open before running over to you without a moment of hesitation, or a care in the world as he easily became soaked as well.

“I'm sorry!" you almost yelled over the rain as he reached for your hand in order to pull you into the sanctuary of the warm house, "I didn't mean to wake you up. I-I-I should go."

"You didn't," he insisted, gently pulling you along with him, "I was in my office - I almost didn't hear you over the rain."

"Missy-"

"She's at her friend's house for the weekend," he explained as you relaxed and acquiesced to his touch and let him lead you inside, "but you are going to come in and warm up and tell me what's going on."

»»————-　♡　————-««

“Better?” Marcus’ voice was soft as you padded back into the kitchen, now in a fresh new set of clothes - his clothes. He’d been insistent that you take a hot shower to warm up and gave you a clean set of pajamas. You hadn’t been expecting for them to be the softest things you’d ever worn, or for his smell to cling onto them as much. It was enough to make you weak in the knees as you had slipped them on, smelling of his soap, shampoo, and now sporting his clothes. His eyes flicked up when he saw you come in, his lips parting slightly as his tongue darted out to wet them; he hadn’t expected to quite feel that when he took in the sight of you in his clothes...but damn.

“Yes,” you nodded softly as you walked over to the him, pulling out one of the stools at the island and slipping onto it. Marcus had busied himself with making hot chocolate - complete with mini marshmallows, just like you loved, “thank you for everything, Marcus.”

“Don’t mention it,” he tried to play it off as cool, but relished in the small praise as he set the large mug in front of you, before grabbing his own and making his way around to you. You tried to suppress the wild beating of your heart as he took the spot next to you, his leg brushing against yours and causing a flurry of sparks to run down your spine.

The two of you sat in contemplative silence for a few moments, nothing but the sounds of your spoons in the mugs and the sipping of cocoa sounding in the quiet space. There was an ease, an instant sense of comfort and warmth that inhibited everything when Marcus was around. It was easy to know that this was home; nothing else mattered.

Before you could get too deeply lost in thought, Marcus gently nudged his leg against yours, capturing your attention. You turned to face, watching as he pulled off his glasses and tossed them onto the counter, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment. He looked tired, and a sense of annoyance at yourself settled into your bones. You shouldn’t have disturbed what was likely the only bit of peace he had experienced in a while. Marcus must have been a mind reader or something because he slowly shook his head and gave your hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s not you, hon-” he stopped himself but his would be pet name was not lost on either of you. It wasn’t usual for him to call you something sweet; honey, sweetheart, love. You just never thought much about it, chalking it up to him being a nice man who liked to give his people pet names. But this was different - there was something much more left to be said, “will you tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s silly,” you said softly, not sure if you wanted to humiliate yourself in front of him right now. Not sure if you wanted to delve into what both of you could feel bubbling up to the surface. But you couldn’t deny it any longer, both of you had been dancing around the issue, skirting it at best, for so long. Maybe this was the push in the right direction that you both needed, maybe it was time to stop running just because you were scared, “I...ugh, I shouldn’t have gone home to my parents.”

Marcus paused for a moment, nodding slowly in a knowing manner. The two of you had been friends - foolish oblivious friends - for years, and there were no secrets at this point, he knew you inside out and you knew him just as intimately, “you saw him.”

“Yeah,” you blew a long exhale before laughing at yourself, “I should have listened to you - it was stupid to go. It’s not home, it hasn’t been for a long time. This is home - you’re home.”

“What did he say?” Marcus’ hand closed tightly into a fist as he tried not to make his fuming too obvious, “did he-”

“No,” before you could stop yourself, you’d put your hand on his, slowly unclenching it from its closed position, inviting him to relax, “he just...nothing happened. He...he said I’d changed. That it was stupid for me to show up.”

“Why?” his breath hitched in throat as the word caught and he tried not to panic too much. Internally it was like the Kill Bill sirens were going off and his whole body was beating like his wild heart.

“He said even though it was just a mindless fuck, he couldn’t do it,” you admitted with a shaky breath, “that I didn’t belong there - back at my parents, back in that stupid town - anymore. That I should go back to my real home with the man I loved.”

“And what did you tell him?” Marcus was positive there were only a few times in his life when he’d been this nervous before - the day he’d gotten married, the day he found out he was going to be a father, the first time he’d held Missy in arms and now...this.

“I...I told him that it wasn’t possible,” you admitted softly, as Marcus’ eyes were glued onto yours, “because there was no way that the man I love would love me back. Because he is everything, and I am a mere...I’m just me. But I left and packed and got on the first flight back here - home.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Think what?”

“That the man that you love doesn’t love you?” your throat felt tight as you allowed yourself to look up and met his eyes. His expression was soft - gentle - and the ghost of a smile was tugging on the corners of his mouth.

“Because you could never love me, Marcus,” you finally said it out loud, answering the silent question that had been lingering between the two of you for so long.

“And why is that?”

“Look at you,” you blinked back a few tears, “you’re amazing and wonderful and you’re perfect and I am such a mess. I couldn’t even...I show up on your doorstep, a crying pathetic mess, and here you are, amazing as always and picking up all the pieces. I - fuck - I would never flatter myself into thinking you loved me.”

“I do,” he said softly, turning to face you properly and reaching for your face to gently cradle it in his large hands. His gaze was intense as he studied you, and your stomach dropped. Did he...was he… he loved you? Marcus wiped away the single tear that had rolled down your cheek, “yeah, I do love you, honey. I have for a long time now - we both know it. I think we just got so scared, so caught up in ourselves that we never said it.”

“Oh,” you looked at him with the sweetest expression as he just beamed at you, “I...I love you, Marcus. I have wanted to say that to you forever, but I was so nervous...I just never…”

Before you could continue to ramble, Marcus leaned over and kissed you; it was soft, and gentle, sweet - but with a hint of longing as you practically melted into his touch. Kissing him was, to put it simply, utterly perfect. There was no fumbling awkwardness and no learning curve, it just was.

When you pulled back for a breath of air, he held you close, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against yours, his nose nuzzled against yours.

“I…” you sighed softly, contentedly, as you chased his lips with your own for a few more kisses, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he promised firmly, “you are home - you are family. Please don’t ever doubt that again.”

“How could I?” you whispered, “when you make me feel like this? I am never happier than when I’m with you, with Missy - never.”

“Neither are we,” he promised, “you are everything, just like you think I am. I will never let you forget that.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x you #wcbh #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #sighhhh #i love him

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anonniemousefics · 3 years

Note

Hello! I absolutely adore your writing, especially your writings of kanej! Anyway, I would love to see you write something about jealousy from either kaz or inej, I just think it would be interesting to see your take on it! Obviously you don’t have to, I love your work! You’re a great writer!

❤️ Thank you so much!! This was so sweet to receive, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to get this to you! So, hopefully you’re cool with this, but I decided to apply this idea in a modern AU because I have another request I’m also working on for a modern AU and this felt like an opportunity for some more practice. 😊 (And it just made it more fun for me -- idk, my brain just needed to do something new with these characters to make this work.)

Samples - Modern AU

Fandom: Six of Crows | Kaz + Inej (ft. all the other Crows)

Word Count: 3,545

Rating: Teen And Up (Language)

“Who did this?”

All of Kaz’s friends were doubling over in laughter around the round hand-me-down table in Kaz and Jesper’s apartment. There were black and white Cards Against Humanity prompts spread across its surface – the most offensive combination of which had Inej, well, and everyone else, in fits.

What made my first kiss so awkward? had been the prompt Inej had drawn.

To which Kaz had submitted the following, randomly-selected card for her consideration – Announcing that I am about to cum. And then kept his poker face locked in place.

“Who did this?” Inej was demanding again, clutching her stomach.

Kaz wasn’t sure why he was hesitating -- something strange was happening while all of this was playing out. Nina had one hand on Inej’s arm while she was fairly screeching with laughter. Inej was slumping against Jesper, like the laugh was shaking her boneless. In fact, everywhere he looked, he was noticing how they were each exchanging these casual, unconscious touches in the midst of their mirth – Matthias turning his face against Nina’s shoulder, Wylan slapping Jesper’s shoulder.

No one was touching Kaz, though – which, that was good, though, right? That was because they were his friends, and they were thoughtful, and they knew all about The Very Sad Thing that had made him the way that he was.

And yet --

Kaz couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. He should be laughing, though, he realized. A normal person would be laughing, given the infectious nature of laughter. And also it was genuinely a really funny card – that’s why he’d played it. But all he could do was force a smile, and that was it.

He suddenly felt like an alien among them.

“Was it you?!” Inej was exclaiming, waving the card at him. Kaz designed what he hoped was a coy smirk for her.

“Are you saying that’s your favorite?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“It was you.” Inej looked appalled, which only made everyone around the table hoot louder. Kaz was still smirking as she threw his winning card back at him with a mischievous, red-faced grin on her face.

“Oh, my God, Brekker.” Nina was wiping the tears off her apple-red cheeks.

“Why does that make it so much worse?” Matthias wondered, since he evidently could never not take a jab at Kaz. He scrubbed his eyes like he needed to wash them out.

And still not a single laugh out of Kaz’s body – this was disturbing. How long had he been this way? And why did he care so much all of a sudden?

“Guys, I’m pretty sure he won,” Wylan was saying, pointing at Kaz’s stack of wins. Had he? Everyone turned to count their cards.

Jesus Christ, he hadn’t even been paying attention to winning? But Kaz loved winning. It was the only reason he tolerated his roommate hosting these raucous game nights – because it meant Kaz could win things. And usually a lot of things. It was especially choice winning things off of Matthias Helvar, Nina’s latest lughead boyfriend she’d met at the gym, who now had to be invited to everything even though he sucked. He was always cuddling close to Nina, putting his arm around her, whispering gross things in her ear that made her giggle insufferably. It was so fucking uncomfortable.

Kaz never acted that way around Inej, and they’d been together for years. Sort of. Not always officially. It really had only been officially lately, but Kaz had always told himself he wasn’t one to need to put labels on things. Inej knewhow he felt – he knew this. (Did he, though?) He definitely knew this. (No, he didn’t.) There was no need to be like Matthias fucking Helvar and canoodle her in front of everyone on game night.

Oh, God. Kaz was suddenly having a realization, right there in the middle of counting his cards.

Oh, God.

He was jealous of Matthias Helvar.

Oh, this sucked.

This really fucking sucked. Kaz thought no one in their right mind should ever be jealous of that big dumb fuck, with his protein shakes and his weirdly popular fitspo Instagram page. The guy looked like he ate nothing but wild-caught salmon and organic broccoli. He wasn’t funny, and he’d say weirdly spiritual shit at socially unacceptable times. He probably spent his weekends doing annoying, on-brand fuckery like being one with nature and brewing his own kombucha, that asshole.

And this was the guy who felt comfortable enough to kiss a girl’s ear in a total stranger’s apartment. (Well, not a total stranger, Kaz would relinquish that – Nina had been dating Matthias for three months.) Matthias Helvar was doing all that nothing with his life, and he wasn’t the least bit self-conscious.

Ugh. Kaz hated that guy. Worse! Kaz wanted to be that guy. Minus the kombucha and the religious stuff. And the gym membership. And probably the protein shakes.

Ok, fine, Kaz was only interested in the PDA. This was so fucking awful.

“What number were we playing to?” he heard himself ask. He wasn’t even paying attention to card counting. He was going to have to start again.

“Can’t count that high, Brekker?” Matthias asked, smirking, and there was always something Kaz took as halfway serious in the way he tried to joke.

“Die in a fire, Helvar,” he said, with a smile that was as good as a middle finger.

“And on that note!” Nina sung out, standing with a hand on Matthias’ shoulder. “It’s almost midnight. I have an eight a.m. class. We gotta call it a night.”

“Matthias drove us,” Inej explained to Kaz’s questioning look at the word “We.”

Inej and Nina were roommates, too, like Kaz and Jesper, but the two girls lived on campus in the dorms at Ketterdam University, where all but Matthias attended. (Fucking Matthias, who was a personal trainer and got money from wellness companies to tout their shit on his Instagram. Ugh.) Wylan, Jesper’s boyfriend, was also living in the dorms this year, after spending his freshmen year commuting from his dad’s enormous house. Wylan had been the one with the car before Kaz had finally scraped together the money for one, but his dad had cut him off over the summer. Kaz didn’t know much about that beyond what little Jesper had told him, which, in summary, was: goodbye, car; hello, dorm life.

“You should have said something – I could have picked you all up,” Kaz said, mostly to Inej, as the others were standing from the table.

Nina reached a tentative hand out to gently touch his shoulder, well-protected by the fabric of his black v-neck.

“Kaz,” she said, gingerly, “we love you, but Matthias has functioning air conditioning.”

Kaz slid his glance toward Inej, who gave a little confirming nod, pressing back her amused smile.

“My thighs don’t stick to the seats in his car,” she explained, softly, which may as well have been a knife to the gut. He loved driving her around in his car. And, to top it off, she was in a pair of really adorable denim cut offs, her legs deeply tan from the summer sun, and he hadn’t even had the nerve to try to touch her exposed knee all night. (Meanwhile, Hands-On Helvar over here had been sitting with his palm all over Nina’s plentiful thighs all night. God, he was so gross. Couldn’t Kaz be just a little bit gross?)

“Are you okay?” Inej was asking. She was stepping a little closer to him away from where everyone else was putting on shoes, preparing to leave. She had her arms wrapped around herself and her loose, purple crop-top, and her long, dark braid was pulled over her shoulder – just mercilessly cute all over. And he hadn’t touched her all night.

“I’m fine,” he replied, but he kept his hands in his jeans pockets. Inej’s dark brows knit together.

“You’d tell me if you weren’t?” she checked. Kaz huffed a laugh – how was he supposed to answer that? Realistically, he should lie.

“Probably not,” he admitted anyway, and gave a shrug. Inej opened her mouth to reply, but Nina called to her from the doorway of the apartment.

“Sorry! Eight a.m. class! She’s going to text you from the car anyway!” Nina was shouting.

“She’s not wrong,” Inej shrugged with a smile. And reached out to barely brush her hand against his spine, like the first attempt at a hug. But Kaz could only bunch up his shoulders, hands stuffed deeper into his pockets. Why was he like this?

There were a few more awkward goodbyes at the doorway, including Matthias’ one-more last-minute sales pitch on the recent CBD-infused green powder drink he was hawking online. (“I’ll bring you some samples next week. They say it’s excellent for chronic pain.” Kaz had flipped him off when his back was turned.)

But then, once they’d all gone and the apartment was quiet, Kaz felt like he was rolling in regret.

“You doing ok?” Jesper asked him, gathering up the empty Solo cups for the trash. Jesper was a really good roommate. They’d been randomly assigned the same dorm room at the beginning of freshmen year, and it just worked. Jesper’s high energy plus Kaz’s insomnia were meant to be. They liked all the same things: strong coffee, getting paid dirty money to write other people’s papers for them, and occasionally clearing the mind by playing Call of Duty all night. They’d moved off campus the following year (a better move for the plagiarism operation), never even really having a conversation about whether or not to room with someone else. It was not even a question, and who else would Kaz even want to room with?

“You’ve seemed off all night,” Jesper was pointing out, and if Kaz had half a brain, he knew he should have been asking Jesper for advice about PDA long before it had reached envying-Matthias-Helvar-levels. Jesper and Wylan were normal in public. When they held hands or hugged or traded kisses, it wasn’t some fucking scene.

But how was he even supposed to bring this up to Jesper?

“Helvar’s such a dillweed,” was all he could find to complain. Jesper snorted.

“He is not that bad,” he said, dumping a stack of Solo cups into the trash.

“He’s the literal worst,” Kaz objected. “I can’t believe he unironically called himself an influencer.” And at that, Jesper pretended to barf into the trashcan.

“Yeah, no, you’re right – that was dumb,” he said. “I commend you for not cutting off your own ears when he did.”

“We are not buying his stupid fucking green juice,” Kaz said, pointing at Jesper to show he meant business.

“Good!” Jesper agreed. “Nina says it gives him the shits.”

And that brought Kaz some comfort. He found he could smirk about it while he loaded up the dishwasher. He was starting it up when his phone buzzed on the counter. He leaned over to read it.

Inej: You seemed sad tonight.

Inej’s contact photo in his phone was one he’d snapped when she wasn’t looking – she was leaning her head back with her eyes closed, taking in the sunshine. It had made her brown skin glimmer and dazzle.

Kaz stared at her text for probably too long. Long enough for Jesper to peer around the corner of the kitchen doorway at him.

“I’m going to bed – everything okay?” he said, and cocked his head. “Is it another last minute job?” Those kinds of jobs – the ones where a student was giving up the night before something massive was due – paid the most, but for good reason. They were absolutely fucking miserable to pull off.

“No,” Kaz shook his head. “Just Inej.”

It was never “just Inej” – and Jesper nodded like he knew that.

“Hey, Kaz,” he said, as he began to leave for his bedroom. Kaz looked up at him sidelong as he mouthed, barely audible: “Tell her what’s wrong.”

“Thank you, Dr. Phil.” Kaz rolled his eyes. And heaved a heavy sigh.

And started typing.

Kaz: I guess I was a little.

Whoa, pressing send on that was unpleasant. He wandered over to his preferred recliner in the living room and flopped back in it. Shoved the footrest up to elevate his bad leg. Ugh. Just ugh to everything and everyone. He looked down at his phone again.

And Inej had been quick to respond.

Inej: You can tell me these things, you know.

Inej: I know I won’t always have the right thing to say, but I want to be there for you.

Inej. Why are you being so perfect so far away?

Why are you wasting your time with a boyfriend who struggles to touch you?

Inej: Are you writing a novel?

He’d been writing and rewriting the same sentence twenty different times. She’d probably been looking at those ominous three bobbing dots for way too long.

Ugh. God. Fine. Kaz drew in a long deep breath, staring up at the ceiling like it could intervene and come to his aid. And then fucking wrote.

Kaz: I wish things were different

Kaz: I wish I wasn’t so fucked

Kaz: I wish I knew how to be a better boyfriend – how to make you blush and laugh and make that one smile that’s like you’re telling secrets with your eyes

He pushed the recliner back as far as it would go. Maybe it would tip and dump him on his head and he’d have to go to the hospital, and that would at least delay Inej inevitably breaking up with him for being this pathetic wet blanket. The phone buzzed again, and he almost didn’t want to look.

Inej: Um, where were you all night? You literally had me doing all those things all night

Huh. That wasn’t how he remembered it.

Kaz: On the opposite side of the table from you

Kaz: Watching basically everyone else be able to touch you but me

Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. That sounded so petulant, and he’d already pressed send. That sounded so needy and disgusting. Who said that kind of shit? Not even Matthias Helvar said that kind of shit. He wanted to throw his phone across the room. No, out the window. No, out into the sea.

Now he was on the receiving end of the three bobbing dots of doom. Fuuuuck.

Kaz: Can we just forget I said that?

More dots. Then nothing.

Then dots.

Inej: I don’t know. You’re kind of cute when you’re jealous.

At that, Kaz raised his eyebrows.

Kaz: I am not jealous.

Inej: You’re a little jealous

Kaz: No, I feel insufficient.

(Oooof. That was like trying to throw an anvil. Painful.)

Inej: Oh

Kaz was watching the texts come in from beneath his arm now, holding the phone high over his head. Like watching the slasher scenes in a horror movie.

Inej: I mean

Inej: It seems like you’re just splitting hairs here

Inej: Since you must think others are sufficient in ways you are not, so you envy them

…

Kaz: Touche, Ghafa.

And he couldn’t help smiling to himself when Inej sent him a gif of a swashbuckling cartoon Robin Hood brandishing a sword. Then another text bubble appeared.

Inej: You are not insufficient to me, Kaz.

He really wanted to believe that.

Kaz: Even if I’m not hanging all over you and amassing a truly staggering number of Instagram followers with my six-pack abs?

Inej: O.M.G.

Inej: Kaz

Inej: Brekker

Oh, God, what had he done?

Inej: Are you *jealous* of Matthias?

Uggghh, he was going to be sick.

Kaz: Fuck no

Kaz: It was just a hypothetical

Kaz: It was an exaggeration

Kaz: I could do the same thing with any one of our friends

Kaz: And we all know the abs are photoshopped anyway

Inej: OMG

Kaz: What now

Inej: You called Matthias our friend

Kaz wanted to stab himself in the brain.

Inej: I’m gonna tell him

Kaz: Don’t you fucking dare

Inej: I already did

Kaz: What? How? How are you that fast?

Inej: Still in the car

Kaz: ????

There was no reason for that – the dorms were hardly a 10-minute drive. Now Kaz’s brain was assaulting him with a thousand reasons things his girlfriend could still be doing in a car (A nice car! With working air conditioning!) with a personal trainer/amateur Instagram model, and none of them were pleasant or welcome thoughts. The phone buzzed again.

Inej: I asked him to bring me back to you. :)

At that, Kaz straightened the recliner, rising to his feet as fast as his stiff leg would allow.

Kaz: You did? And he did? Why?

He was limping toward the front door.

Inej: Because he’s not terrible, Kaz. And because I guess I missed your car after all ;)

Jesper and Kaz’s apartment was the third floor of a wonky old Victorian home that had once been something grand and only recently had been split into three different abodes – which was definitely the worst decision the two of them had made as roommates. Kaz was leaning hard against the railing as he took to the steps when the front door of the building banged shut below. And then there on the landing below was Inej, wearing a sheepish smile in the yellow, buzzing fluorescence of the hall light. She was holding her phone in one hand, her tan leather purse slung across her slim body.

“I thought you looked like you could use a hug,” she said, as she pocketed her phone.

Kaz took the last two stairs carefully, coming to stand in front of her. She smelled like vanilla and coconut oil – like something he wanted to wake up to every morning.

“You came all the way back for a hug,” he wanted to clarify. His hands – he should do something with his hands. What would Matthias do with his hands?

No. What do I want to do with my hands?

So, he looped a couple fingers through her belt loops. Tugged her a little closer. And she smiled.

“Technically,” she said, “Matthias came all the way back so I could bring you some samples.” She patted her purse, which did look a little bulkier. “They were in his car the whole time.”

“Mmmm.” He pretended to look tantalized. “Hot car samples. Delicious.”

Inej was twisting her fingers in the t-shirt fabric at the crest of his hips. Tugging him a little closer, too. God, it was so good. She’d been so right. He had wanted a hug.

“I know that’s how I want my protein powder,” she teased. “Piping hot, right out of the oven.”

“Just how Ma used to make it,” Kaz added, with a good bit of feigned nostalgia. Inej blurted out a laugh, tipping forward until her forehead bumped his sternum.

At that first brush, it was like his hands knew what to do from there. They slipped around her waist while her hands slid around his. And she pressed her cheek against his chest while he held her close.

“You are not insufficient,” Inej said against him.

“I would really like to pretend that never happened,” he said with a sigh, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Too late,” she hummed, happily, and gave him a light squeeze. He smiled against her hair.

“You know I wouldn’t want you to be like Matthias, right?” she asked.

“You shouldn’t even want Matthias to be like Matthias,” Kaz grumbled.

“Hey,” and Inej pulled back to look up at him with her big, soft brown eyes. “I mean it. I just want you to be you. I don’t want all the handsy stuff. That’s what Nina likes. I just like you.”

Kaz carefully pushed back a few strands of her hair from her forehead.

“Not even a little handsy stuff?” he checked, which made Inej give her coy little smirk, his very favorite.

“Maybe a little handsy stuff,” she said.

If there were ever going to be a time to kiss her, it would be now. But when he thought it, Kaz felt his heart make an enormous leap into his throat, seizing in panic. If he touched her mouth with his, if he closed his eyes and felt her face so close to his, would he just end up floundering in The Very Sad Thing again? What if it happened while he was kissing her? Would every kiss after that be tainted? Could he risk it – could he ever?

So, he didn’t move to meet her lips. He let his hands fall to the small of her back, though, and kept her close for another moment. Like a sample of physical affection, and she seemed okay with that. He would will himself to believe it was not insufficient.

“Drive me home?” she asked after a moment, with a kind of sweet, eager anticipation that made Kaz believe in magic. He nodded, of course.

“I’ll go up and get my keys,” he said. “And you throw away those samples.”

Inej laughed, following him up.

“Deal,” she said.

-----------------------------------

Tagging: @annejulianneh111, @loveyatopluto, @ireallyshouldsleeprn, @whosanxiety, @raging-bisexual-alert,

#kanej #kanej fanfic #soc fanfic #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #modern au #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #matthias helvar #nina zenik #look so im not a matthias fan #dont come for me #i just want to make fun of him because he's a big doofus

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peaches-writes · 4 years

Text

how to appease your asian aunties ch. 3 - spring break

* icym: this was prev. a guide to social gatherings but i changed the title bc i still think i’m funny that way

description: in the immortal words of blood-related aunts and aunts you’re not even related to but forced to call your aunt at reunion parties, “do you have a boyfriend?” member: jisung / han genre: fluff, fake dating au, implied rich kids au, eventual childhood / best friends to lovers au, college au, implied fem reader (but i still used they/them pronouns) word count: 5.4k chapter warning: food, a conversation calling out toxic asian family culture oops note: i’m not confident with this one bc i had to re-write this two times (?) with diff. plot directions + srsly idk what happened here what was the point am i ok + i didn’t post this accidentally this time !!!!

ch. 1 // ch. 2 // series masterlist

After seeing you and Jisung interact during your trip to the mall, your mom has started loving this new idea of you dating one of her close friends’ sons so much that she has not-so-discreetly started conspiring with Mrs. Han in order to see the two of you together as much as possible. From invitations for snacks and drinks at one’s house every day after school to whole-day activities on the weekends (usually to the mall or the cinema), it didn’t take long before you and your own best friend put two and two together and conclude that your respective moms have somewhat developed an auntie type of obsession over your fake relationship.

This idea that your moms would love you and Jisung together so much to this extent initially flew past your head when you started this fake relationship last Christmas. You were only thinking of casually fake dating your best friend, after all; such arrangement ideally confined only in social gatherings where invasive relatives and family friends ask about your love life endlessly. You genuinely did not expect that that Jisung would start tagging along to you and your parents’ Sunday movie dates and side with your dad every time you disagree on your selected movie’s ending; or that you would not be parting ways with Jisung after school anymore when you reach your house and he has to drive another block to get to his.

But for the most part, you’ve decided as the weeks fly by with this new added twist in your everyday, it’s fun and, even at times, cute. Though Mrs. Han dotes on you more now, like you’re her own child, and your mom is starting to be more talkative around Jisung since they now have you to talk about, you still get to eat snacks either your mom or Mrs. Han made, hog the extraordinarily fast wifi at Jisung’s house, and get free movie tickets and shopping bags from when you’re going out with the other’s family on the weekends. Plus, it’s made your workaholic mom come home earlier just to see you and Jisung lounging in your living room and Mrs. Han’s worries lessen now that Jisung’s busy with something else that isn’t academics or whatever it is he does with his Bumble and Tinder apps.

At times, it’s tiring having to hang out with your best friend under the guise of a couple, especially when you didn’t really plan for it to be this way, but you can’t deny that there are perks to it.

So, you wait more patiently for Jisung every day after your classes now even when he usually takes a lot of detours to see his friends before driving over to you on the other side of campus. You still hang out with your friends, Ryujin and Chaeryeong, after classes, of course, but you part ways with them just a little bit earlier now to anticipate Jisung’s Convertible pulling up in front of your building and unnecessarily yelling at you to get in even when he’s the one awfully late.

Because if you were to choose between your other best friends and a free expensive snacks, you’d always choose the latter without fail.

“You know,” Chaeryeong comments next to you on this particular Friday, stretching her legs down to the steps below you three while you scroll through your phone and Ryujin naps on your shoulder with her earphones still plugged in. “if I didn’t know that you’re ditching us earlier for free fake dating food, I would’ve thought that you and squirrel boy were seriously dating.”

“You always think we’re dating either way.” You roll your eyes, not even sparing a glance at the smug grin on her features. “Anyway, aren’t you happy we’re ‘dating’ now? It’s what you’ve always hoped for but, you know, fake.”

Only then do you turn to Chaeryeong over your shoulder, also scrolling through her social media on her phone. She meets your gaze after with a scrunched up nose and furrowed eyebrows. “Hm,” She pretends to contemplate, placing her index finger up to her chin. “I don’t know. I think I’ll have to wait until someone caves and you actually develop feelings for each other—like in books!”

“Seriously?” You deadpan with pursed lips, only making her laugh. “Of all things you could bring up.”

Chaeryeong shrugs in response with a knowing smile, chuckling when your expression doesn’t change. “You never know!” She replies in her defense, laughing all the way. “You did say after break that you’re just going to fake date if there’s an event but it’s Spring Break tomorrow already and you’ve been fake dating every day since classes started again.”

“Sounds like a romantic trope to me.” She comments last teasingly before you can even interject, swiftly dodging your hand when you reach up to try and smack her. Literature majors, really.

“For one, I don’t want to date Jisung, I’ve seen enough of him my whole life for that and I don’t think I’m in the mood to date in general. And besides, we’re only a ‘couple’ at home when someone’s mom is watching.” You counter as you retract your free hand back to your side, alternating your gaze between her and your other hand with your phone. Jisung’s last message is that of him informing you that he’s making a quick stop at the International Relations department today to hand Hyunjin his books ten minutes ago. Knowing him, if he didn’t get lost or got distracted by a kiosk selling coffee, he’s probably on his way now. “And you know I love free stuff, it just happens to come only if I hang out with Jisung these days.”

“So what happens when you ‘break up’? And I don’t mean the cute perks from the aunties.” Chaeryeong asks next, leaning back on her propped elbows now that the stairs going up to your college building have started to cool down from being exposed to the sun the entire day. “I mean, it’s back to normal for us as your friends—I do miss not having to remind my parents that you’re a couple now—but your moms are going to think it’s weird that you suddenly broke up and went back to being friends like nothing happened.”

“I already told you and everyone else, we’ll think about that when it happens.” You shrug both at her and the nagging thought in your mind that she has a point.

“And when exactly will that happen?” She prods on, smiling smugly at knowing that you and Jisung never talked about this certain part of your current predicament clearly. “‘Dating until everyone doesn’t think of Jisung as a fuckboy or when aunties stop offering blind dates’ sounds vague to me.”

You see Chaeryeong’s smile grow bigger when you don’t answer immediately, accidentally letting time pass until Jisung’s gray Convertible pulls up steps below you with an obnoxious honk.

“Y/N, my mom bought gelato today!” Jisung yells at you from his roofless car, his radio blasting Bermuda Triangle at an embarrassingly loud volume. “Let’s go!”

You then quickly shake Ryujin awake in response, gently moving her to Chaeryeong’s legs when her eyes open, before standing up and waving goodbye at your two friends. “Like I said, I’ll let you know when it happens.” You hurriedly conclude your conversation with Chaeryeong with a triumphant smile, making her roll her eyes. “See you after the break!”

Chaeryeong only shakes her head in disbelief, easily letting you go from her interrogation with a wave goodbye. “You be careful now, hm? Have fun with your ice cream, then!”

You chuckle as you run down the stairs, waving your hand up for her as you move away without sparing a last glance. “Don’t worry, I’ll take pictures!” At this, you open the front passenger seat to Jisung’s car and smoothly slide in, haphazardly discarding your backpack next to his at the back before closing the door next to you. “Hey, ugly. Glad you didn’t get lost on campus.”

“Speak for yourself, ugly.” Jisung teases back, shifting the car’s gear back to ‘Drive.’ “How was your day? You three look so bored out of your mind there.”

"Better now that we’re going to eat ice cream at home.” You put your seatbelt on as Jisung now drives the car home, reaching over to the radio in between the two of you after and lowering the volume. “Classes were tiring as usual. What flavors did auntie get, by the way?”

Jisung almost makes the wrong turn with your choice of words, quickly gathering his thoughts and shaking his head. “Fu—u-um, Ferrero, strawberry, and mint choco, that’s what she texted me.” He shrugs, making the correct turn to the nearest campus gate this time.

From the corner of his eyes, you nod with a hum as you sink back in your seat, completely missing the way you unconsciously caught him off-guard even with the screech of the car tires. “Oh, cool—no pun intended there.” You chuckle to yourself, leaning to the opposite side now to watch the college buildings pass by. “We’re watching The Conjuring 2, right?”

“Yeah.” Jisung scoffs, brushing off what remains of his sudden nervous feeling with the comment. “Tch, cool.”

Like every Wednesday and Friday that Mrs. Han prepares you after school snacks and drinks, you and Jisung go through tubs of ice cream and tumblers of water while a horror film is projected on the television of the Han’s ground floor living room. Mrs. Han, who has her office day off on Fridays, would occasionally drop by and either ask if the two of you need anything or comment on her distaste for horror under her breath.

“Oh, oh, dear.” She clutches her pearls dramatically, much like her son would, as she passes by for the sixth time to go to the kitchen and catches another glimpse of The Conjuring in the process. She then turns to you and Jisung after to calm her nerves, catching you still sprawled across the sofa with your legs lazily piled on top of Jisung’s.

Of course she’s seen you in the same position before in the few times you came over as one of Jisung’s friends but the sight now seems different under the guise that you and her son are a couple. Typical mom.

“Hi, auntie!” You greet her when you catch her from the corner of your eye also for the sixth time, waving your empty spoon in greeting with one hand while the other blindly reaches for Jisung’s laptop on the coffee table to pause the movie. Jisung hides his face under a throw pillow at this, already having enough of his mom snooping around for today and you giving her the time of day. Since when did you get comfy with his mom, anyway? “Do you need anything?”

Mrs. Han immediately shakes her head with a dismissive wave and smile. “Ah, nothing, I was just checking up on you two!” She clarifies again. “Do you need anything? Extra pillows? More water?”

You shake your head politely, holding up the water tumblers on your other side reassuringly. “We’re good but thank you!”

At this, Mrs. Han clasps her hands together in satisfaction. “Alright, if you need anything, I’ll be in the kitchen, then!” She concludes, taking a step back from the door frame. “You’re staying for dinner, right, Y/N?”

You glance over at Jisung, prying the throw pillow away from his face enough to see him shaking his head and making you feign a teasing frown for his mom. “You don’t want me to stay over dinner, babe?” You taunt with a smile, chuckling when he pushes the pillow back onto his face. Turning to Mrs. Han, you add, “I think Sung doesn’t want me staying for dinner, auntie, but I’ll gladly stay over if you want me to; anyway, my parents are coming home late today.”

“What? Oh, he’s just being shy!” Mrs. Han dismisses with another wave of her hand. “Please do stay for dinner. I’ll text your mom for you too.”

“Alright, if you say so.” You nod, giving her your sweetest smile now. “Thank you so much!”

With that, Mrs. Han then bids you goodbye and proceeds to the kitchen. When the sound of her stilettos fades outside the living room, Jisung removes the throw pillow in front of his face with a groan, scooting closer to you until his shoulders bumped into yours. “My mom, seriously.” He then smacks you on the shoulder with the throw pillow as you press ‘play’ on his laptop again. “Ya, are you seriously dining with us tonight?”

You kick his legs under yours in response. “I think it’s cute, it’s not like she caught us doing something weird.” You shrug in his mom’s defense. “And yes, I’m staying over because your mom is clearly cooking tonight and I can’t say no to an offer and free food.”

“I’ll have to get back at you when we’re back at your house on Monday.” He counters back, shamelessly dipping his spoon on the mint chocolate ice cream in your hands. As he bites on the small chocolate drops on the ice cream, a thought then crosses his mind and he asks, “Wait, are we still hanging out on Spring Break?”

You turn to him, swatting his hand belatedly before taking a big chunk of his strawberry ice cream. “I don’t know, my mom hasn’t mentioned anything and I don’t think my parents have any plans of going on vacation this break.” You answer truthfully before eating the spoonful of ice cream. “What about auntie?”

“Nothing from her too.” He shakes his head. “Though we’re definitely going on vacation this Break—my dad really wants to check out the new Jeju hotel.”

“When are you coming home?”

“Friday night, I think? We leave on Sunday.” He answers, taking a sip of water now that the taste of ice cream is now making his mouth feel sticky. He takes note of how you used the same word again, recovering quicker this time before he could even choke. “So we’re definitely not hanging out on those days.”

You hum against another spoonful of ice cream, this time from the Ferrero ice cream in the small gap between the two of you. “I mean, it’d be nice to be away from you for once—we’ve literally been joined to the hip after classes and most weekends since the New Year—but that would mean no free food which would be a shame; I really like your mom’s cooking.”

“Ouch, I didn’t know you don’t like spending more time with me just for me.” He clutches his chest dramatically, hugging the throw pillow again. “I thought you’d like this since I was away for a year.”

“We barely hung out before you even left.” You chuckle in amusement, grabbing the pillow from him again and this time lazily discarding it to the other end of the sofa. “I already thought you’re annoying the rare times we hung out before. Now, you’re just the bane of my existence.”

Next to you, Jisung laughs along belatedly, holding his ice cream tub away when you try and take another spoonful of strawberry from him. “Yeah but I’m the bane of your existence that you’re ‘dating’ in front of the aunties for free stuff and them leaving you alone.” He points out, giving in to you after when you almost topple over the Ferrero ice cream and handing you his strawberry ice cream. “So you can’t really complain.”

You roll your eyes as you exchange tubs of ice cream. In front of you, a jump scare goes unnoticed as you pay more attention to Jisung anticipating what your next words would be. “I’m grateful,” You clarify in a mumble as you chew on the ice cream. “But you’re still annoying as hell.”

“Not like you’re any better.” He rolls his eyes with another playful laugh, shifting in his seat. “Yeah, I think we shouldn’t hang out on Spring Break: we’re going to ‘break up’ if we keep meeting too much at this point.”

This time, it’s you who gets another thought at this comment. Shifting in your seat as well so you’re now facing Jisung, you ask in a change of topic, “Right, I meant to ask: when exactly are we ‘breaking up’?” You raise an eyebrow at him when his eyes widen in confusion. “It’s just that Chaeryeong and I were talking about it a while back and it had me thinking.”

“Hm? I thought we’ll do it a little after Chan and Miyoung’s wedding.” He shrugs nonchalantly. “There aren’t many events after that and I’m sure the aunties won’t bother you for a while since you’ll start working.”

“And if they do?” You ask back curiously. “Starting work at your own parents’ company while going through a ‘break-up’ doesn’t exactly guarantee a free pass from blind dates—remember the last time Yeji had a relationship the aunties knew about?”

“Right, that was quite chaotic.” Jisung replies, keeping his spoon in his mouth now instead of eating more ice cream as the unexpected question actually catches him off-guard. “But, I don’t know. I guess we can keep going a little longer after the wedding, until the aunties have someone else to bother or, you know—if you end up liking someone else.”

You then catch Jisung’s eyes light up at this idea and you hear him quickly add, “Hey, how about that?” He then removes the spoon from his mouth, placing his ice cream down in between the two of you. “You don’t have to worry about your elders and we don’t have to fake date anymore.”

“Actual dating?” You furrow your eyebrows. Jisung nods at this. “You know how I feel about that. I don’t think I want that for myself right now given the changes that are going to happen after we graduate.” You wave your hands around now, setting your ice cream and spoon down before sinking back in your seat. “And I especially don’t want that just for the sake of getting people to mind their own business; it’d be like giving in to the pressure in a way.”

You glance over at Jisung to see him nodding thoughtfully now, an unfamiliar look crossing his features before he meets your gaze and comments, “Okay, that’s fair—but we both know it’d be too troublesome to fake date for a long time.” He then sighs, sinking into his own spot and leveling with your gaze.

Suddenly, you feel a shift in the air around you as Jisung sets his ice cream down on his other side. “Aish, don’t you just wish you can talk back to older people?”

“Yeah.” You nod in agreement this time, pursing your lips. The air suddenly felt sincere now, a bit comical since the people keep screaming on the television in front of you but, for some reason, you don’t feel like laughing because Jisung isn’t despite obviously having the same thoughts. “I mean, we all know that the talks about dating and career and everything else are often in good-nature but a lot of times they’re just invasive and a bit rude.”

When Jisung doesn’t reply as quickly, you nudge his shoulder and add, “I especially think of the time you told some of the parents during Yeji’s birthday about your plans to study in Malaysia and how negatively they received it because they think you won’t graduate on time and that you should just finish college quickly and work.” Jisung’s eyes widen in surprise this time. “They don’t know how hard you work in your studies or how you really wanted to go abroad and explore and I really wanted to scold them for it.”

“Y-You still remember that?” He asks in disbelief, earning him a casual nod from you.

“Of course,” You confirm, your free hand unconsciously balling into fists on your lap at the memory. “I’ve never wanted to yell at my mom’s friends until that point even when you tried laughing it off so I’m glad you proved them wrong when you came back during Christmas and impressed them when they asked about it again.”

You see Jisung chuckle under his breath shyly, tearing his gaze at you for a moment. “You mentioned that night that you were annoyed. I never knew you were this annoyed.” He muses out loud. “Thanks.”

“Thinking about it now, I feel a bit bad,” You point out after, heaving a frustrated sigh. “You’re keeping up with fake dating me even though it just started as a little joke last Christmas to protect me in a way but I couldn’t stand up to you two years ago.”

Looking up at Jisung, he grins at you reassuringly and shakes his head, effectively easing the atmosphere back into being more lighthearted. “No, it’s okay.” He dismisses your frown. “Just knowing what you really thought then is fine already.”

“And,” He shifts in his seat after, transferring the tubs of ice cream in between the two of you now to his other side so he can scoot closer. “I get free food every other day from your mom because we’re ‘dating’ so it’s nothing, really.”

You scoff when he breaks out into laughter. “Right, of course.” You deadpan before breaking out into genuine laughs yourself. “What was I even thinking, talking about sincere things with you?”

The two of you laugh for a while, even more when Jisung pretends to complain that you just 'wasted’ the last act of the movie talking about ‘mushy stuff.’

“Stop complaining, dummy,” You smack his elbow, sitting up properly now as the credits begin to roll. “you entertained my rants instead of stopping me so it’s your fault too.”

“Because you brought up something of mine from two years ago!” He protests before moving away to gather all your scattered snacks to the coffee table, laughing in disbelief all throughout. “I had to respond or it’d be rude!”

You only roll your eyes at him, making the two of you laugh even harder. You then lean back on the sofa, stretching your hands above your head and removing your legs off of Jisung while he disconnects his laptop from the television and closes both electronic gadgets.

Turning to you, after, you see his laughs turn into a small sincere smile once again. “But seriously,” He says, glancing back at you from his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“For?” You prod him teasingly, earning you a groan of frustration from him.

“For almost getting mad at the elders?” He jokes back with a raised eyebrow before going back to being sincere again. “Nah, for being understanding with me and my choices.”

“Of course,” You reply casually. “even if we joke around a lot, you’re one of my best friends—well, as if I had a choice in that, you know me too well and too long.”

“Way to ruin the moment.” He frowns at you in feigned disappointment, making you chuckle, until another thought crosses his mind. “And, Y/N?”

“Hm?” You look up expectantly at him.

“We have to break up some time after the wedding but I’ll still try and protect you,” He clears his throat awkwardly. “from the ‘rude’ and ‘invasive’ comments after, I mean. You should do whatever you want to do freely and date seriously when you want, not when older people pressure you into it.”

At this, your gaze softens at him visibly, even more when he doesn’t make other hints that he’s joking. “Thank you.” You mumble, just loud enough for only him to hear when you see Mrs. Han pass by the hallway again. “You should too, you know, do whatever you want and date whenever you want to.”

Jisung opens his mouth to speak but, behind him, you catch a glimpse of Mrs. Han suddenly returning to the hallway and stopping by the living room entrance again, waving at you and unintentionally cutting her son off. “Y/N, Sungie, dinner’s ready!” She informs you before Jisung could even get a single syllable out, making him purse his lips in annoyance with his face hidden from his own mom’s view. “Y/N, I already texted your mom, by the way, and she said it’s fine that you stay over for dinner.”

You turn to the side and nod at Mrs. Han, chuckling when you see Jisung hiding his hands on his lap and exaggeratedly curling his fingers up in frustration. “Thank you, auntie! We’ll be right there!” You assure her, smiling up at her until she disappears back to the opposite direction of the kitchen.

Turning back to Jisung, you swat his finger tips back into relaxing with a laugh. “Guess we have to go back to adhering to the system and fake dating for now, though.” You conclude with a giggle, standing up from the sofa and fixing your clothes. “What were you going to say before your mom barged in?”

After a moment of silent contemplating, Jisung ends up shaking his head and following you, gathering the tubs of ice cream in his hands. “It was nothing.”

“Really?” You ask, elbowing him gently before picking up your water tumblers from the sofa. “Come on, tell me.”

“It’s nothing, seriously.” Jisung assures you with a laugh, walking ahead of you out of the living room and turning around to see you catch up. “Come on, leech, dinner time.”

You bump his shoulder with a laugh when you manage to catch up with him, “Shut up, you’re also a leech.”

“But not on this day, you’re in my house.” He corrects.

Dinner with the Hans regrettably passes too soon even with all of Mrs. Han’s questions on your school life and post-college plans; and Mr. Han bringing up embarrassing and, at times, even exaggerated stories from when you and Jisung were children. When Mr. Han is suddenly forced to retreat back into his home office to attend to a minor emergency (hastily bidding you and Jisung goodnight) and Mrs. Han managed to win in your argument over you helping her and the house helpers to do the dishes, the old grandfather clock at the house entrance strikes quarter to 9 PM which prompts Jisung to offer you company in walking back home.

“Yes, how thoughtful of you, Sungie! Do walk Y/N home!” His mom comments with a proud grin as she shoos you out of the kitchen. “I’ll see you after Spring Break, Y/N, okay?”

You nod, giving her one last side hug, careful of the dish washing liquid bubbling up on her pink gloves. “Have fun on your trip to Jeju, auntie!”

“I’d ask you to come along if it didn’t turn out so last minute, I did mention it on New Year” She jokes, much to Jisung’s horrified face. “Oh, Sungie, what’s that look for? Don’t you want Y/N to go on a trip with us next time?”

You giggle nervously, pulling away from the hug after and taking a step back to Jisung’s side. “Maybe next time, auntie? I have lots of deadlines this break, anyway.”

“Ya!” Jisung hisses at you discreetly, pouting again that you’re entertaining his mom’s antics. You only elbow him in response.

In front of you, Mrs. Han seriously contemplates on the idea before waving her drier glove. “Yes, it is quite last-minute right now since we leave on Monday.” She smiles fondly. “Next time, it is, then!”

“Okay, that’s enough planning for a future trip!” Jisung quickly interjects before you can humor his mom longer, placing an arm over your shoulder and turning you around to face the open door leading outside. “It’s getting late and I have to walk back here on my own after!”

You wave back at Mrs. Han, laughing when she rolls her eyes at her son before bidding you one last goodnight. “Goodnight, auntie!”

With that, Jisung gently pushes you into a run out of his house, haphazardly closing the door behind him and directing you across the front lawn, to their gates, then, finally, to the dimly-lit streets of your subdivision. You’re only pulled to a stop when Jisung almost pushes you to a car parked on the house across his, making you laugh.

“Ya, we didn’t have to run out so fast!” You protest, clutching your stomach with one hand while the other hits his side. “My stomach hurts.”

“You keep entertaining my mom’s ideas!” He playfully whines back in between tired pants, catching his breath quickly before throwing an arm over your shoulder. “If you’ll keep going like this, you might actually become best friends!”

You scoff, keeping his arm on your shoulder anyway as the two of you now walk to the direction of your house. “Watch your words, Han Jisung, or it might actually happen.” You warn him teasingly, adjusting your backpack on your shoulder. “Besides, I was just doing what you were doing on New Year—how did you call it?—’earning points.’”

“I also told you then that my mom already likes you so much,” He pouts, easily pulling you flush against him when a lone car passes by. Instinctively, he then moves you to his other side so he’s walking closer to the road. “You’re just going to be more annoying at this point.”

“Well, I like your mom, too, so I’m going to be extra annoying from now on,” You grin mischievously. “maybe until we ‘break up’ then everything’s going to be awkward for a while.”

Glancing over at Jisung from your side, you see him genuinely frown momentarily before sighing in feigned defeat. “Fine, do whatever you want.”

You want to ask him about the sudden frown but you end up shrugging it off as you cross the street to get to the right turn at the intersection. With the new direction you’re walking into, Jisung shifts you to his other side again.

“You know, it’s not like some car’s going to crash into us,” You move to his other side anyway and swiftly dodging another offer of him slinging his arm over your shoulder. “We’re inside the village? Where the speed limit is 20 kph?”

Jisung scoffs, dropping his arm back to his side “Your house is on your side of the street, dumbass, that’s why I moved you there.” And, as if on cue, you see your own house slowly coming into view among the towering gates and trees. “That little heart-to-heart talk we had must be getting to you, huh?”

“As if.” You elbow his side in retaliation, your backpack hitting his back slightly in the process which only fuels his teasing more.

“Aren’t you glad I’m here to walk you home?” He asks with a grin, just as you reach your gates. “Imagine if you got lost when we’re literally a block apart.”

“I hope the dog next door escapes and chases you back home,” You groan, walking a few steps ahead to open the smaller entrance on your gate with your key.

Behind you, Jisung only laughs, unfazed, before walking over to your side again and extending his arms out for a hug. “Okay, sorry,” He grins halfheartedly. “Come here, goodbye hug.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, swinging your gate open with one hand and stepping one foot on the other side. “What do you mean? My mom’s inside.”

“Yeah, but I haven’t hugged you alone in a while.” He points out while tilting his head sideways, earning him a genuine look of confusion from you.

“Ya, it’s not like we don’t hug platonically before all this.” He adds with a shaky snicker before pouting. “I’m going to get s—”

“Okay, fine.” You scoff with a small smile, stepping outside again to hug him. “Look who’s getting all mushy now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” He shakes his head against your neck, reluctantly pulling away from you after a while. Rubbing the nape of his neck bashfully, he adds, “It’s just that—everything’s been a bit different now since I got home.”

“It’s mostly your fault—”

“—I know and I don’t regret it,” He interjects quickly, wiping the smug smile of your face. “since I’m doing it to get you away from creepy guys but it’s just us now and I sort of...miss being casual.”

Your frown tugs upwards into a sincere smile as you lean back against the gates. “We are casual. It’s just that people are looking now.”

“Can we hang out sometime?” He suggests with hopeful eyes. “just us, like old times.”

“You call it old times like it wasn’t just two years ago,” You point out, chuckling now. “But—sure.”

Jisung nods with a big grin now, excitedly shifting his weight on his feet. “So, see you after the Break?”

“Buy me something nice from Jeju then we can talk.” You conclude, stepping inside now completely. “Night, Sungie.”

“Hm, goodnight.”

When you accompany one of the Han’s family drivers to fetch Jisung and his parents at Incheon International Airport exactly a week later, you only expected to see the box of imported chocolate snacks Jisung promised to buy you as the only unfamiliar thing that you’ll see, maybe even an entirely new carrier with Mrs. Han’s vacation haul if she did actually spent more time shopping than working.

What you genuinely did not expect, upon finally spotting your best friend and his parents waiting for you at crowded Seattle’s Best, is him holding more than just your box of chocolates.

“Hey?” You wave at Jisung in confusion as you stop right in front of him. To your right, you catch a glimpse of the family driver, Mr. Yoo, greeting Mr. and Mrs. Han on the next table before obligingly taking their luggage cart. “Who’s this little angel?”

Only then do you notice the two other unfamiliar people with Jisung’s parents, eyeing you curiously and whispering to Mrs. Han, probably to ask who you are.

Jisung waves his hand at you once before transferring the same hand over the nape of his neck, “Y-Yeah, um, this is—”

But before he could even finish and maybe even explain, the little girl on his lap shifts in her place and jumps to stand in front of you. “Hello!” She grins sweetly in slightly broken Korean, waving one hand at you while the other clutches Jisung’s bear plushie. “I’m Kitty!”

“Oh, hi, Kitty!” You bend your knees slightly to level with her gaze hidden behind round eyeglasses, briefly sparing a glance at Jisung after and raising an eyebrow at him before smiling again at the little girl. “I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you!”

“It’s nice to...m-meet you!” She politely returns the gesture, hugging Jisung’s bear plushie shyly after and making your heart skip a beat. “Will you also live with us?”

“At home?” Your furrow your eyebrows deeply now, standing up properly and turning to Jisung who you then belatedly notice has stood up as well and slung his backpack and Kitty’s over his shoulder. “Sung?”

Jisung stands next to Kitty and places a hand behind her back, clearing his throat awkwardly. “Kitty’s going to live with us for a while.”

ch. 4 // series masterlist

tags: @t-toodumbtocare @sandaigdigan-reads @pwarkhans @ruellelix @malai-barfi @mahalau @milkywayfelix @qweens-stuff @tenclouds @crscendoforsung @verobibble

118 notes · View notes

randomfandominserts · 4 years

Text

urs by NIKI - Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Playlist Series: Link

Urs by NIKI

Lyrics: “Trynna find where your head is, but I’m losing myself in the process

You’re bad for my health, all the good nights

Are they hidden goodbyes in disguise? I never know

You come see me only when I ask first

When you kiss me, do you wish it were her?

The best at being the worst

But fuck’s sake, I’m already yours.”

Warnings: Mentions of sex, language, angst, idk

Word Count: 3.2k

Saturday

Oikawa Tooru was beautiful. His hair was mussed from the relentless tugging you had just exposed it to, his face slightly flushed. It took all of your willpower to tear your gaze from his face when he turned back to look at you. You knew he’d be weirded out, you couldn’t stare at him like you were in love. That’s not what this was supposed to be.

He finished tugging on his shirt and held out a hand to you. No - not a hand. It was just your top. “Here,” he said, dropping it on your lap when you didn’t reach out fast enough. “I have to go to practice in an hour, and I wanted to grab something to eat first.” You pulled your shirt over your head at an agonizingly slow pace. He was kicking you out, of course he was. But you wanted to savor the moment, the sight of him slightly disheveled and the smell of him and the close proximity and- “Thanks for coming over though, (Y/N).” He gave you that smile - it was faked and forced but God, you loved his smile - before stepping away from the bed you were still seated on.

“No problem.” You stood, finally, and moved to pick up your bag and keys. “You don’t usually practice on the weekends. Do you have a game next week?” He shrugged, too consumed with sorting through his volleyball bag to pay any more attention to you.

“A couple practice matches, and a game on Friday.”

“Right.” He was done with you. “I’ll head out now. Have a good time at practice. Say ‘hi’ to Iwa for me?”

“Sure, sure.” He waved you goodbye - or maybe he was waving you away. Whichever, you shot him one last smile - not that he was looking at you to see it - and headed out.

It hadn’t always been like this between you two, at least not in private. You used to be friends, and you would talk and laugh and spend time together like any other pair of pals. Somewhere along the way, you both decided to try being friends with benefits. That’s what ruined it for you. Suddenly Oikawa was detached unless you were fucking, and you were so incredibly attached that it was embarrassing. No one noticed much of a change, because with your friends you were mostly still the bubbly, goofy pair that you had always been. But getting to see the Oikawa you loved when you were alone was limited to the times you were being intimate.

Sunday

It was an incredibly boring afternoon. You were already finished with all of your homework and wanted nothing more than to relax with a couple of friends. Unfortunately for you, most of your usual Sunday squad had already said they were busy. You were left with one option, one that wasn’t unwelcome but was awkward all the same. It had been ages since you and Oikawa had spent time together that wasn’t for, well, pleasure purposes, so you weren’t sure how the invite would go over, but you decided to give it a try despite that.

~Tooruuuu

There was no immediate response. Not even a semi-quick one, not like usual. Hmm. Maybe he hadn’t seen it? You decided to send another text, just in case.

~I’m bored

~Wanna have a movie day? I have snacks and Netflix :))

It was read immediately but was left unresponded to for about 5 minutes.

~busy today, sorry :(

~Oh, okay </3 Have fun!

~u too

Had he always been such a slow, dry texter? You sighed and tossed your phone aside. Guess it would be a solo movie night tonight.

Monday

Everyone was laughing, but you simply bit into your sandwich without glancing at the storyteller. Oikawa was retelling the story of how he met some girl Saturday night after practice. “She was beautiful, and I made a fool of myself!” he whined, while the surrounding third years jeered and laughed and teased. You weren’t in the mood for all that. You didn’t care that he got her number or that she was “the prettiest girl” he’s ever seen (and yes, that is a direct quote). You didn’t care that she was texting him right at that moment, or that she apparently went to Aoba Johsai with you guys. You especially didn’t care about how much fun they had yesterday at the park while you were alone in your room, or how she was smart and beautiful and perfect. You simply did not care in the slightest.

You felt a nudge in your ribs, and you glanced over to see Iwaizumi looking at you. “You good?” he asked quietly. How considerate of him, to quietly get in your business rather than let the whole table in on it. He didn’t know about the friends with benefits situation, why would he? So you sighed and shrugged, averting your attention back to your sandwich.

“Don’t really care about Tooru’s hot date, is all.” Luckily for you, Iwa didn’t press the matter. He let out a small hum, a minute sign of understanding, before turning back to the laughing group around you. He probably had some suspicions. Maybe you’d text him about it later, maybe call to explain your sour mood, but for now, you were happy to let it be. Now wasn’t the time to tell him about you and Oikawa’s arrangement.

Later that night, you sat alone in your room. You were bored and lonely and, despite all the qualms you held about it, you missed Oikawa dearly. It took only a couple of seconds to glance at your phone and realize practice was probably over, so you pushed aside your pride and opened up your messaging app.

~Hey

~Practice over? :)

And you waited. You waited and waited and waited until finally, 1 hour and 37 minutes later, you got a response.

~yeah

~what’s up?

~Wanna come over? Home alone and I’m bored ;p

It was almost ridiculous how quickly you texted back, especially since he took another 23 minutes to send his simple response.

~ok

~be over in 15

He took 26 minutes to get to your house, not 15, but at least he came. The time was spent as it usually was, with him peppering your skin with little kisses and him singing your praises while you melted like putty in his hands. It felt intimate and wonderful, but it also felt like only a moment, and you found yourself watching Oikawa pull on his clothes much too soon. You stayed planted on your bed, wanting nothing more than to curl up under your fluffy comforter with Oikawa by your side.

“Something wrong?” He was calling out to you from across the room, having noticed your frozen state. Of course he had noticed, he was one of the most perceptive people you knew. But you didn’t give in and only shook your head in response.

“No, just sleepy. You really know how to tire me out, huh?” You tried to smile and laugh, you tried to mask the lies. You knew he could see right through it, but he didn’t say anything else. Instead, he glanced down at his phone which had just given a little ‘beep.’ The corners of his lips twitched upwards as he tapped away at the screen. Immediately. “Who’s that?”

“You know the girl I met the other night? She invited me and the guys to this bakery she knows, as a late-night snack.” He was smiling fully now, completely occupied by the texts that were pouring in. Beep, beep, beep. It took a moment before he finally put it down and looked back at you. “I’m sure you can come too. If you want.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m tired, remember? I’m probably going to go to sleep.”

“Okay. Good, I’m gonna go then.” He tugged on his jacket and laced up his shoes. “Bye!”

“Goodnight,” you said weakly. Reluctantly.

“Yeah, goodnight.” It sounded so forced, but you didn’t bring it up. You simply curled under your blankets and waited until you heard your front door slam before falling asleep.

Tuesday

“Here.” Iwaizumi placed a small wrapped pastry in your outstretched hands. It was warm, like it had just been heated up, and it smelled lovely. It was early in the morning, just before classes were to start, and you hadn’t eaten yet. Iwaizumi was basically your savior.

“Thanks, Hajime.” You unwrapped the treat, eager to see what was inside. It was a small blueberry scone, which made you smile. “You didn’t bake, did you?” You faked disbelief, shaking your head with a laugh. “What if you poisoned it?”

“I got it from a bakery last night, idiot.” He tapped you on the shoulder, friendly and gentle, but hearing where he got it immediately caused a shift in your attitude.

“With Oikawa?” Iwaizumi was hesitant to answer, as he was hyperaware of the shift that had just occurred.

“...Yeah.” No longer in the mood to joke around, you simply lifted the treat to your lips and ate it in small nibbles. It was, unfortunately, delicious. You didn’t want to give this mysterious girl any credit but damn did she know a good bakery. “What’s going on with you two?” You shrugged, using the scone as an excuse to keep from speaking, but Iwa was too smart for his own good. He saw what you were doing and took back the pastry he had just gifted you. You gave him a small sigh.

“Nothing’s going on with us. Not really.” Iwaizumi was giving you a look that told you he didn’t believe you for 1 second. You sighed again, not wanting to crack, but having someone to talk to would be nice, wouldn’t it? “Honestly, Iwa? We fuck sometimes. But he’s so disconnected it hardly feels like anything more than a step backward.” Your friend gave no visible reaction to your confession. It was like he wasn’t surprised at all. But instead of teasing you or saying ‘I told you so’ he let you continue. “And now there’s that girl, you know, the ‘prettiest girl in the world’ or whatever. And I know it’s just a crush, but I don’t know, what if I’m losing him? I bet the whole time we were together last night he was thinking about her.”

“They just met.” He was trying to comfort you, in his own way. But it fell on deaf ears.

“Whatever. I have to get to class.” You gathered your items off the floor and headed off down the hall. “Thanks for the scone.”

Iwaizumi sent you a million (AKA two) texts that night after their practice match, trying to talk to you about the Oikawa situation. Unfortunately for him, you were too busy breaking your own heart (AKA having sex with Oikawa) to text back anything helpful. And, unfortunately for you, Oikawa received a call from his new girl crush in the middle of the act and had to cut it short.

“Sorry, (Y/N)!” he said, putting on his best puppy dog face, “She’s lost! I need to go rescue her!”

“Right.” You were frustrated, cold, empty without him. But he was already tugging on his shoes and dialing her number on his phone.

“I can’t leave a lady stranded!” he was saying, so proud of himself and happy that he could run off and rescue this mysterious maiden. You could almost laugh. He was leaving you naked and cold, he was stranding you to go find this girl who couldn’t even make her way around the city she lived in. He was on the phone with her by the time he was out the door, laughing and smiling and leaving you feeling almost sick. Maybe instead of a laugh, you would cry.

You pulled out your phone, finally needing the advice that Iwaizumi was itching to give you.

~Should I end this thing?

~What do you think?

~How helpful.

Wednesday

You were, once again, sitting at lunch and angrily munching on your meal while everyone around you laughed and enjoyed their time. The topic of conversation was, once again, Oikawa’s beautiful new girl friend. Not ‘girlfriend’ yet, but you were sure that’s where they were headed. How annoying.

Iwa sat beside you like usual, and he made sure to glance over in your direction every time Oikawa mentioned his crush. You’d think his concern was sweet, if it wasn’t for the fact that Oikawa quickly noticed that you were the subject of his friend’s constant looks and asked if you were alright. It took everything in you to not scream or hit Iwaizumi or lash out at Oikawa. Instead, after a deep breath, you plastered a smile on your face and turned to Oikawa.

“I’m fine,” you said, “Just tired.” Though you were sure it was obvious that you were lying - your fake smile wasn’t nearly as convincing as Oikawa’s - no one said a thing. Oikawa went back to his story - him and his girl had a movie night yesterday after he helped her get home, how cute - and you went back to stabbing your salad aggressively.

You were pulled aside following the meal. Iwaizumi stood, arms crossed and face stern, ready to tell you what you needed to hear (though, it definitely wasn’t going to be what you wanted to hear).

“I know that you like him,” he started.

“Love,” you corrected. He ignored you.

“But trust me when I say he’s not oblivious. And you’re not subtle.” You sighed, crossing your arms to match your friend’s stance.

“So? What am I supposed to do about it?”

“If you don’t want to lose him? Tell him the truth.” Iwaizumi walked off, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

You didn’t text Oikawa that night. He didn’t text you either.

Thursday

You laughed at lunch, but only because Oikawa was off doing who-knows-what with his little crush. They had a lunch date or something, who knows. He squeezed in time to see her whenever he could (or at least that’s what you gathered from his teammates). He was even inviting her to practice.

He never did that with you.

Friday

You weren’t sure what possessed you to attend the team’s game.

You never come to these things. It was loud and hot and you could hardly push your way past the crowd of Seijoh fans that were packed into the gym. Looks like everyone had the same idea as you and came early enough to see the team’s individual warm-ups.

Because the other team had yet to arrive and start their warm-ups you were able to slip down to the court fairly easily. You just wanted to say hi to your friends and wish them luck before the game started. You also had a little treat stuffed in your pocket: some of Oikawa’s favorite candy in a little good-luck baggie. Maybe if you could get him alone you would give him the gift and tell him what you’d been thinking about for the past week (in your head you imagined it would likely go something like ��I’m in love with you, Tooru, and I want to be with you!’ Very dramatic and romantic).

After spotting Oikawa’s head peeking up over the crowd of players, you began to make your way in his direction. How lucky, he wasn’t even practicing yet. You were determined to catch him before he got into his game mode, but you were suddenly stopped by a firm hand on your arm. Iwa had caught your arm and held you in place, keeping you from your mission of finally confessing to Oikawa. You turned to glare at Iwa, to give him a piece of your mind, but he only shook his head at you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to see To- uh, to support the team.” Smooth.

He dropped your arm and quickly - nervously?- glanced over your shoulder before averting his gaze right back to you. Maybe he hadn’t meant for you to see, but you noticed anyway. You turned your head slightly, just in time to see most of the team had moved out of your line of sight to expose Oikawa and - no way.

He was bending down and kissing her, right there, for everyone to see. For you and Iwaizumi and the rival team and Oikawa’s fangirls and the entire crowd and everyone to see.

“Oh.” You turned back to Iwaizumi, whose expression was unreadable. “I, uh, I didn’t know they were actually, uh, dating.” You tried to laugh, like it was some kind of funny joke. “Didn’t they meet a week ago? This is kinda fast, huh?”

“(Y/N)...” Iwa looked like he wanted to say more, but there was a quick whistle ‘toot’ that called his attention. His team started to make their way to the court for the official warm-ups.

“Hey, don’t mind me. Go play!” You were smiling - God, how were you smiling? - and you shooed him off to the court. “Have a good game!” He looked torn but still shuffled over to join his team. You were ushered into the stands and ended up next to Oikawa’s crush. No, wait, girlfriend. How wonderful.

You stayed for the entire game. Maybe because you felt it would be a waste to go. Maybe because you wanted to support the team. Maybe because you didn’t know what else to do with yourself at that moment. Whichever the case, you suffered through the game for no reason. There was no one waiting for you when it ended. There was nothing to say.

Once you got home, it took everything in you to muster up the courage to shoot a simple text Oikawa’s way.

~I went to your game today! You played great :)

By now you were expecting a reply an hour later, if at all. So it came as a shock when a new text popped up on your phone not even 5 minutes later.

~I’m sorry, (Y/N), I think we should stop talking.

You turned off your phone.

Thursday

You and Oikawa were just friends again. Maybe that’s why things felt so normal between you two. You could laugh and talk and joke without having to worry about anyone finding out your secret. Unfortunately for you, being friends with Oikawa was what made you fall in love with him in the first place.

Lunch was different now. His girlfriend always sat with you, taking up the tiny spot that used to sit empty next to Oikawa. She was funny, you guess, but it ruined the flow of the conversations sometimes. It felt forced to you, she felt out of place. But maybe that was just your jealousy talking, because no one else acted like anything was different at all.

And maybe you were ridiculous, but you were still in love with him. Maybe it was easier to be in love when you didn’t have to pretend that you weren’t attached. Maybe it was easier to hide it when you didn’t have any alone time anymore. Were you happier this way? Who knows. You missed everything about him. You missed the way he touched you and the feeling of him against your skin. You missed his voice and you missed the way he held you. But you could accept it. It was better this way, right? Besides, he looked so happy with his new girlfriend. Who would want to ruin that?

But, fuck, you wished more than anything that you could get up in his face and tell him, “I’m yours.”

#oikawa x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#Haikyuu x reader #oikawa tooru #oikawa tooru x reader #hq imagine #hq x reader #oikawa #oikawa imagine #haikyuu imagine #reader insert

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pogueshomecoming · 4 years

Text

secret girlfriend - kiara carrera

requested? yes: noticed you didn’t have anything for kie and the idea just popped into my head but maybe like she meets a girl (another kook? Idk) and starts hanging out with the boys less and they get suspicious so they follow her and see her with the other girl but kie never told them she’s queer so they’re surprised but are obviously super supportive and don’t care. this is my first time ever requesting so not sure if I’m doing this right but do whatever you’d like with it :) (you did great! haha no right or wrong way to request. thank you for sending it in💕)

fill out this survey to join my taglist, here’s my masterlist, and requests are open.

warnings: I’ve never written for a girl before nor have I been with a girl but... we’ll see how this goes. i decided to make this more from the pogues pov until the end it kind of switches cause i suck lol. FLUFF AT THE END. it’s cute in my opinion.

word count: 2.1k

“John B, can you drop me off first this time? I’m going to be late for my shift at the wreck.” Kiara checks her phone, pretending to look at the time.

“But we pass Pope’s place first... Why would we turn around and go back?” JJ scrunches his face in confusion, and Kie rolls her eyes, stomping her feet a little bit to get her point across.

“Fuck off, JJ, I didn’t ask you. JB? Come on, I can’t be late again.” Kiara whines.

“Sure, we could even come with you. Hang around out back so you can sneak us some food?”

Panic rises in Kie as she quickly shakes her head. “My dad will be there all shift, so that won’t happen. You guys can’t hang around like that when he’s there.”

She’s quick to defend, but none of them seem to notice. “Okay fine, but tell Mr. C that we said hi, maybe eventually he’ll like us if you keep doing that,” JJ interjects again, and Kie chuckles.

“Yeah, maybe.”

It’s only a few moments later that John B is pulling up to a dock. Kie jumps when she’s close enough. “Thanks. Love you guys! See ya.”

A chorus of, “Love you too” s ring out behind her as she runs away.

“Was that weird to anyone else?” Pope asks as they pull away, turning back towards Heywards.

“Nah. I think she mentioned the other day about someone quitting, so she’s covering shifts until they find someone else.” John B speaks without taking his eyes off of the water in front of him.

“Sweet, I’m going to apply,” JJ smirks, and Pope can’t help but shake his head.

“You do that.”

“Kie just texted that she’s not coming.” John B says as he exits the chateau. The four of them were supposed to go drive around the island, get up to some real Pogue mischief.

“What? Did she say why?” JJ sits up in the hammock, causing it to wobble, and Pope almost falls out of the other side.

“They’re painting the new wreck sign or something like that. Guess they haven’t hired anyone yet.” JB shrugs and shoves his phone into his back pocket.

“Well, driving around doing nothing doesn’t sound like fun when there’s no anyone there to stop us from doing dumb shit.” JJ sighs.

“Hey, I’m pretty good at that.” Pope is offended but laughs it off.

“We could go fishing? Kie hates fishing.” John B looks at the two of them, waiting for confirmation.

“Alright, fine. Let’s go fishing.”

“So you’re telling me that there’s a whole part of the island with teenagers looking for a job, and Mr. C hasn’t hired anyone in two weeks?” Pope thinks out loud. JJ and John B are pulling a net in, but Pope is lying on his back at the from of the boat.

“What are you talking about? And why?” JJ groans, giving one final pull to get the fish on to the deck.

“Kie keeps telling us she’s filling in momentarily. Do you guys really think it’d be that hard to find someone to work? Mr. C could replace anyone at any time.” Pope sits up to find John B and JJ both looking at him.

“So, what are you getting at? That Kie is lying to us?” John B asks, his head tilting to the side ever so slightly.

“Obviously, I don’t know for sure, but it seems like it.”

It’s silent for a few moments.

“Wait, Pope is right. She’s been dipping out early or not showing up at all, and her excuse is always the wreck. Why don’t we go see if she’s there now?”

“Good idea.” JB drops the net in his hand and resumes his spot behind the wheel.

JJ and Pope are holding on to dock posts, waiting as John B goes inside to find Kie. He’s not gone for very long before they see him jogging back to the boat.

“She’s not there. Mr. C was, though. Said he thought she was with us. I covered for her, but now we know.” John B shrugs as he steps onto the boat, pushing off with one leg.

“Kie never lies to us. She’s gotta be macking someone she doesn’t want us to know about. Right? Any other ideas?” JJ looks to Pope and JB individually, but they both shake their heads.

“Ugh, what if it’s a kook. Surely she wouldn’t date Topper, right? Or Rafe? I guess Kelce is a possibility. In that case, she can keep sneaking around.” Pope groans and makes a gagging motion with his finger.

“Oh my god, wait. That’s perfect, Pope. We’ve got to catch her in the act. The pogues haven’t had a Sunset Saturday to Sunday Sunrise hang out in a while. Let’s have one, invite her, and when she makes an excuse or straight up leaves, we’ll follow.” John B smiles proudly, and surprisingly, Pope and JJ praise him for his idea.

“And if she doesn’t leave?” Pope asks.

“We’ll do it again next weekend.”

Sunset Saturday to Sunday Sunrise used to be a Pogue tradition. They usually happened during the school year. It gave them all time to hang out and be with each other after long weeks of learning. As summer started creeping up, they got less and less because their time spent together got higher and higher.

When Kiara agreed and told them she’d be there, they all got even more excited to bring the tradition back.

The four brought out every blanket and pillow in John B’s house to make their beds on the grass outside. Pope and JJ always combined and shared. It gave them more blankets, therefore, more comfort. They were always very proud of their result.

As the sun went down, everyone shared a high and low from the week. JJ’s was something stupid like the actual high he got from a new strain of weed he tried. John B talked about waves he’d surfed at the beginning of the week. Pope said he liked sharing a makeshift bed with JJ, and everyone laughed. Kie said her high was finally finding time to hang out with her boys. They all side-eyed each other behind her back.

Their plan was to fall asleep, which isn’t supposed to happen on a night like this. The point is to stay up and watch the sunrise, but only a few hours in, each boy was performing their best fake snore. Kiara groaned, “Seriously? Have you guys gotten so old that you can’t even stay awake all night?”

Instead of getting up like they expected her to, Kie laid down. She snuggled into her blankets and followed them in falling asleep.

Sunday Sunrise came soon enough, waking them all up with blinding golden light casting over the water. Each one moaned and groaned, sitting up to stretch out their backs and legs after sleeping on the ground.

“Guess traditions change after a while.” John B laughs, and so do the others.

“It was still fun.” Kie smiles back at him, and he nods.

Then the four of them set up Kie’s phone on a timer and pose multiple times with the vibrant colored sky in the background. Most of them are too dark to see their faces as a result of the backlight, but no one complained. Laughter was shared, and that was all they needed.

Until Kie picked up her phone, read a text message, and made an excuse to leave. Pope, John B, and JJ all exchanged looks as they hopped into the van to follow.

The van is pretty easy to spot, so they had to be cautious of the distance they left between each other. Kie led them back to Figure 8, and when she passed her house, all three got more nervous. They parked the van at the edge of the neighborhood and began walking. It was 7am, no one would be awake this early on a Sunday.

“Wait, guys, there’s her car.” Pope sticks his head out around a corner and then brings it back.

John B leans so he can see around, JJ over him, and Pope over him. They watch as Kie gets out of her car.

“That house was for sale a few weeks ago, do you think her parents bought it? Or some family members?” JJ contemplates.

“How do you know it was for sale?” John B asks, keeping his eyes on Kiara. She’s fixing her clothes, smoothing them out, straightening her shirt, and making small adjustments.

“I look at listings sometimes when I’m at the hotel. Why not?”

The front door to the house opens, revealing you. “Wait guys, shut up.”

All three of them focus on you as you smile big and welcome Kiara into your arms.

“Bro does Kie have a sister or cousin we don’t know about? Damn.” JJ marvels at you.

Then, as you start to pull away from the hug, Kie presses her lips to yours. The boys can hear your collective giggles from here.

“Not her sister or cousin, JJ.” Pope clicks his tongue and stands up straight.

“Damn it, I’m starting to think my type is girls who like girls.” JJ groans and also stands up straight. He’s not wrong. Recently, he’s been rejected by three girls because they weren’t straight.

John B is still watching the two of you. Mostly because it’s cute, and JB likes seeing Kie happy.

While John B is preoccupied, JJ and Pope had started messing around. Pushing and shoving each other playfully, whispering insults at each other as jokes. JB doesn’t know how it started, but he does know it ended with them knocking over a line of trashcans. John B straightens immediately, and the three boys freeze.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” John B pinches the bridge of his nose while he whisper yells at them.

“What the hell was that?” They hear your voice instead of Kiara’s because Kie saw John B’s head snap out of view at the last second.

“Let’s go see.” Kie pulls you towards the corner of the house, already pissed off at the boys. The three of them nearly jump out of their skin when she rounds the corner, pulling you by your hand.

“It’s just my dumbass friends. What the fuck, boys?”

“JJ is the one that pushed me into the trash can.” Pope blabs.

“Hey! You pushed me first, I wa-”

“Dude, it doesn’t matter, you gave away our cover.”

The three of them start bickering, and Kie looks at you with an eye roll.

“Excuse me? Remember me? Can you tell me what you’re doing here?” Kiara waves her hand, and you can’t help but laugh behind her.

Pope and JJ immediately look at John B, since this was his plan, after all. JB doesn’t catch on until way after he’s supposed to. “Fine, I guess I’ll tell her.”

“Basically, Pope said you’d been acting weird, and there was no way that your dad hadn’t hired someone at the wreck, which meant you were lying about where you were going. And-”

“Wow, thank you for putting the blame on me.” Pope flashes a frown.

John B ignores him. “And we missed you. You know? You were cutting out on our plans early or not showing up, and it wasn’t as fun with you not around. So we thought you were dating one of the Kooks we hate... and that led to us following you over here.”

“And did you find what you’re looking for?” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“Why didn’t you tell us, Kie?” John B looks up at her, a serious expression on his face. John B had always confided in Kie when he thought it was something JJ or Pope wouldn’t care about.

“I don’t know, I didn’t know what you’d say if you knew I liked girls. Like I know you guys are always there for me bu-”

“No, not that part. Why didn’t you tell us that you found someone and you’re happy? That’s all we want for you, Kie.” John B stands up, and the other two follow him. Your heart is about to melt from the sweetness of their friendship.

“He’s right.” Pope nods. Kiara looks at JJ last.

“Yeah, he’s right. I mean, I’ve had a crush on you since I met you, but I’m not hurt or anything.” JJ teases, shrugging his shoulders with a pouty face. “I’m kidding Kie, we’ll support you in anything you do.”

Kiara has tears in her eyes as she reaches forward to pull them into a group hug. “I love you guys.”

She pushes them off of her gently and turns halfway, so she’s kind of facing you at the same time as them. The smile on her face is one of the biggest you’ve ever seen as she tugs on your arm to step closer.

“Oh, and this is Y/N, my secret but not so secret anymore, girlfriend.”

thank you for reading! please leave feedback and reblog if you liked it.

kiara carrera taglist: @jjfuckr

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bluetiefling · 5 years

Text

Sanditon Season 2 Wish List

Divided between things I think season 2 absolutely needs to reach its potential, and things I don’t 100% need but I would love. Special thanks to @beavesaintmarie and @eleonoraditoledo for all the great discussions we’ve had about this and to whom I attribute many of these ideas!

Most important:

Sidney and Charlotte having at least one torrid make out while he’s still engaged to Eliza. The kind that’s like up against a wall or a tree, and there’s tongue and their hands are just everywhere, and they almost take it too far before one of them pumps the brakes. The culmination of several episodes of unbearable tension before they can’t take it anymore.

Sidney and Charlotte having sex while he’s still engaged to Eliza. I’m realistic about how unlikely this is but I legitimately think this is an important step in their relationship arc, particularly for Charlotte, and it’s not just because I really wanna see them bone under the most dramatic circumstances possible. This would be about Charlotte’s own emotional journey she’s been on since she arrived in Sanditon and came of age - realizing for herself that she wants Sidney, come hell or high water, and she stops being guarded, stops being shy and afraid about the immensity of her feelings, or worrying about what the right and proper and unselfish thing is. It’d be about Charlotte learning how messy love really is, and diving in anyway. Ideally this would be when Charlotte confesses her love and finds the words and bravery to express everything Sidney means to her, which she of course didn’t get the opportunity to do in season 1. And like yeah, their first time on screen will be that much hotter if they don’t know if it’s going to be their only night together or not, and this ship Deserves that intensity.

A DEDICATED ARC ABOUT FIXING SIDNEY AND GEORGIANA’S RELATIONSHIP WHERE THEY GET REAL SCENES OF THEM TALKING THINGS OUT AND THEY CAN GET TO A GOOD PLACE OF TRUST AND AFFECTION AND BE A FAMILY. They have a lot in common now over their romantic woes and that’s a great starting point for them to start fresh and try to bond. And yeah just, give them complete conversations where they can clear all the misunderstandings between them.

A raw and honest confrontation between Sidney and Tom. It’s got to address everything from Tom’s screw ups to how they got to this point where even years after Tom bailed out Sidney, he still feels he’s obligated to throw his lifelong happiness under the bus for Tom’s sake, while Tom is barely perceptive of Sidney’s emotional state on a good day. This can’t be swept under the rug.

Belligerent UST again for Sidney and Charlotte! Let the pain of this separation strain them so much it bubbles over into anger and frustration, and they need to pick fights with each other because it’s become something comfortable for them, and it’s a release from being that sad and tense all the time over not being together. Sidney agonizes over Charlotte’s determination to be stoic around him so he resorts to provoking her to know she still cares. Charlotte snaps at him over something kinda innocuous because she’s so frustrated about everything else. If there’s another guy contending for Charlotte’s heart let Sidney provoke a big argument with her over it, let her be furious with him for not letting her move on while deep down she desperately wants to see this jealousy from him. Etc etc! These two do that kind of snarky tension so well and I’m so into seeing a new, season 2, version of it where feelings are out in the open.

Sidney having agency when the time comes for the dissolution of him and Eliza. I feel it’s important that when the engagement (or marriage? idk how far it’ll get but we’ll see) ends, it’s a hard choice Sidney makes while there’s still potential consequences he would bear, such as being labeled dishonorable or when Tom’s money situation is not secure yet, etc. I think it’s important for Sidney’s own journey of recovering his self-worth and deciding he’s done sacrificing himself. There shouldn’t be external forces, like someone else swooping in with the money Tom needs, that ‘allows’ Sidney to do this easily. If anyone does swoop in to save them all at some point, it shouldn’t be the deciding factor in Sidney’s choice to free himself and his choice to be with Charlotte.

Charlotte being courted by another man in a serious way which helps her realize the depth of her own love for Sidney and that she can’t be content settling for anyone else. There’s a lot you can do with another guy trying to come in and be a contender for Charlotte’s heart, a jealous Sidney being one of those things. I want to see Charlotte put on a brave face and try to find happiness elsewhere only to find she ultimately can’t, because no one compares to what she had with Sidney, and that’s more obvious to her every day she’s around this other guy. Even better is if she and this other guy get engaged or close to it and Charlotte feels more pressured to not hurt this guy’s feelings but she uh… ends up hurting him anyway because sometimes you can’t help but be selfish when it comes to love. And that it doesn’t make her a terrible person.

Things that are not 100% necessary but I would enjoy very much (under the readmore):

A love interest for Georgiana! I’d be happy with Otis returning and him earning redemption in her eyes, but I admit that I’m keener on the idea of a romance for Gigi that we get to see develop from day one. I’m less invested if the couple already fell in love entirely off screen, so I’d love to see a new guy sweep her off her feet. I have a LOT of ideas for what kind of character this guy could be and where he comes from. Currently my favorite one is that they introduce one of Charlotte’s grown up brothers to fall in love with her? It’d be a pretty easy retcon for one of Char’s brothers to be a 20something, and he’s a hunk. Maybe we haven’t seen him yet because he’s been at university or abroad, and he and Char are super close and he decides to go to Sanditon with her. Or Gigi comes to Willingden and the brother is very into her and decides to follow her and Charlotte back to Sanditon or wherever under the guise of looking after his sister but mostly he wants to be around Gigi. Lots of fun ideas to be had and really I just love the notion of Gigi falling for Char’s brother and it leading to all kinds of cute awkwardness for everyone involved (including Sidney lol). (ideal actor to play this role would be Thomas Doherty! someone save him from the CW pls)

AN EPISODE TAKING PLACE AROUND A COUNTRY HOUSE PARTY. BABINGTON’S HOUSE PERHAPS? House party shenanigans are such a fun staple of historical romance and I’d love it if this was season 2’s version of the London episode, where the action shifts to a different location temporarily and it raises the tension and stakes all around. I want Babington to see how unhappy and stressed Sidney is and he and Esther decide to invite a few friends to spend the weekend with them at their estate. Babington deliberately picks a weekend when he knows Eliza is busy. Tells Sidney to get his ass over there to just chill out for a few days. Esther invites Charlotte. Neither Sidney nor Charlotte realize the other is going to be there until IT’S TOO LATE. Cue all kinds of opportunities for them to get stuck alone with each other in and around Babington’s humongous house and expansive gardens or wherever. This could even be the place they finally just give in and sleep together (Sidney’s guest room will conveniently be just down the hall from Charlotte’s of course)

Replace Stringer with a new guy to be Charlotte’s love interest and a rival to Sidney. Like… I know they probably won’t and we’re stuck with him but Stringer just didn’t do it for me at all and I already know that if they make me sit through his bumbling courtship of Charlotte next season it’s gonna be tedious. I don’t want to hear about his class woes or his dad angst or watch him try to conjure up a whole relationship with Charlotte in his head like he did in season 1 again lol. And the jealous Sidney and alternative courtship story line I want for Charlotte next season won’t be as strong as it could be if they rely on Stringer, because I’ll never believe that Sidney is truly threatened by this guy or that Charlotte could ever see it for him. Like I said, we’re 99% for sure stuck with him but ugh… what if…….

IF THEY DID BRING A NEW GUY TO ROMANCE CHARLOTTE have him be an enemy from Sidney’s past! Of all the options for such a character this to me would be the most fun. Have him be rich and attractive as well to make him even more of a threat for Sidney to sweat over. He can be a good guy at heart who sincerely likes Charlotte or he could just be showing interest in her to mess with Sidney – or a bit of both! Maybe this guy’s actually in love with Eliza and this is all a ploy to get to her! Whatever, it’s all good to me. (CAST DAVID OAKES AS THIS DUDE)

Sidney and Eliza have an honest confrontation. Like I want to see Sidney directly challenge Eliza on this idea that they can just recapture what they used to have when it must be so obvious to her by now that it’s impossible. Eliza being forced to face that Sidney will never love her again, even with time, and questioning if what she really wants is another loveless marriage. I’m into Eliza being the bitchy villainess most of the season but it’d be great too if this story ends with her giving up Sidney graciously.

SIDNEY BEING A WRECK. Especially when season 2 opens. He’s drinking and staying out all night. He’s got a beard of sadness growing in. He’s self-destructive. It gets bad enough that his friends and Tom have to say something (maybe this leads to the big blowup with Tom?). Maybe Eliza even gets desperate enough to ask Charlotte to talk to him lol. I just wanna see Sidney Not Able To Deal and trying to drown out the pain.

Sidney and Arthur becoming closer! To me it feels like Arthur and Sidney don’t know each other that well, perhaps because Arthur was a fair bit younger and was off at school while Sidney was already grown up and running off to Antigua and whatnot. Arthur really proved his quality in season 1 and it’d be lovely for them to bond, especially for Sidney to be closer to a brother who doesn’t need or expect him to look after his interests. And for Arthur to get validation and affection from his distant older brother who he cares for a lot but who hasn’t paid much attention to him in turn for a long time.

Lady Susan whisking Charlotte off to London to cheer her up and introducing her to a bunch of eligible bachelors. I’d love it if this was how the new season began, with Charlotte going to London and not expecting to see Sidney and hoping she doesn’t, but of course she does. And this can be how Charlotte meets the new rival love interest I really want lol. Gigi should be around for this too! Have the two friends reunite at a London party before they eventually return to Sanditon together.

Sidney and Charlotte skinny dipping together! Lmao but seriously! Maybe this can be a scene that happens when the drama is all over and they’re free to be together, like either when they’re engaged or even already married. Maybe it’s the last scene of them in the show, even? It’s poetic, okay!

Edward being a more substantial villain figure and Clara showing up pregnant with his kid! Lol I feel like these two could as easily not return at all next season but if they do, I wanna see Edward level up his villainhood and for Clara to return in a big way, showing you should never count her out. I’d like to see them cause problems for Esther and Babington somehow to give those two something else to grapple with while navigating their first year of marriage together.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST – a backstory twist revealing that Sidney is the illegitimate son of Georgiana’s father, and it’s the real reason why Sidney was entrusted with looking after her! This felt like such an obviously great twist to me all of season 1 and I kept waiting for it to happen. It contextualizes EVERYTHING so perfectly. It would do a lot to explain Sidney’s strained position when it comes to where he stands with the other Parkers. Why he has so little self-worth and feels like he’s gotta do dramatic things like destroy his own happiness for their sake. He’s secretly been a Fake Parker this whole time and so there’s that much more pressure to prove himself to them. It’s a big part of why he went off on Charlotte that night at the ball, when she essentially told him he’s nothing like his two brothers, something that is an inadvertently sensitive subject for him. It explains why Sidney looks nothing like his siblings lol. It could be the reason why he went to Antigua when he was looking for an escape from his Eliza depression years ago. Like he thought maybe he should go meet his real father who he just found out about from his mother, or perhaps Mr. Lambe wrote him a letter revealing the truth, etc. Sidney’s looking for an anchor and tries to connect with him, goes into business with him via the sugar trade against his better judgment, ends up largely regretting the whole experience. Unexpectedly comes away from it with a young half-sister who he is now responsible for and to whom he can’t reveal the truth of their relationship because it’s such a complicated source of shame for him. He probably hasn’t ever told Tom the truth let alone this girl who resents him immediately. He thinks it’s better to just keep Georgiana at arm’s length even though his obligation to her as both guardian and secret older brother makes him want to do better by her, even though he doesn’t really know how yet. I was dying for this to be true because I know it could lead to some deeply poignant scenes between him and Gigi once she found out. I know it’s unlikely now and they probably didn’t put as much thought into this backstory beyond some boring life debt to her father, but I still want it to come true, and there’s no reason it can’t still come to fruition I think. It’d be an amazing revelation to use towards further developing and fixing Sidney and Georgiana’s relationship. They already act like siblings, too, and a twist that reveals they were actual siblings all along would be quite cathartic. I’d really love to see how it would affect Gigi, too, who seemingly has no family left alive and has felt so isolated. MY KIDS DESERVE THIS STORY LINE BASICALLY.

#sanditon #YOUR MOVE ANDREW DAVIES #text post tag #lol we were coming up with so many ideas I figured it was time to collect them all in one place

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pennylanefics · 5 years

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Comeback - Dennis Severs

a/n: I wrote this in one night lol. idk how. not entirely happy with how it turned out after editing it, but I think it’s decent :) also, the ‘first time’ blurbs will be posted tomorrow!

•••

“Hey Rob!” You greet your brother as you enter the station. Before he can greet you with a hug, the sound of an alarm goes off, signaling the crew that there was an incoming call.

“I’ll see you after this, yeah? Go ahead into the break room.” You nod at his order and head upstairs to the room you knew so well. You visit Rob all the time, so everyone here knew you. Besides the new guy, Dennis, who sat in the corner of the room in a chair, reading a newspaper. When you walked in, Ziggy greeted you and invited you to take a seat next to her on the couch. Right across from you was Dennis, looking up over his newspaper at you.

Ziggy is called over by Big Al, so that leaves you alone on the couch, and Dennis the only other person around. This prompts him to set the newspaper down and make his way next to you.

“‘Ello, I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Dennis, I’m the rookie of the team,” Dennis introduces himself. You smile and stick your hand out to shake his.

“I’m (Y/N), Rob’s sister.” He returns the handshake and smiles sweetly.

“Nice to meet you. So, are you a firefighter like Rob?” You laugh lightly and shake your head.

“Hell no. Too dangerous for me. I own a cafe close to my house. I run it with my step-sister.”

“Oh, well I may have to come by and visit sometime,” he winks cheekily, chuckling at your reaction.

“Yeah, stop by. My sister makes the best cakes, and my pain au chocolat’s are the best, from what I’ve heard.”

“Those are my favorite pastries! I will definitely be there soon. May I have your number, so I can get the address of the place?” He asks quietly.

“You want my number to look up the cafe that I own instead of just asking me?” You joke around with him just a little. His eyes widen a bit in embarrassment as he stutters, trying to correct himself.

“well, I mean. I might forget it if you tell me now, and I-”

“I’m just messing with you, Dennis.” He sighs in relief and places his hand over his heart dramatically.

“God, that was embarrassing. But you seem like a sweet girl and I’d love to get to know you more. Would you want to, I don’t know, maybe go on a date sometime? After we have been talking for a bit more, obviously?” A sudden shyness comes over him as he thinks over if it was too soon to ask you out, having only known you for a minute. But, your response shocks him, to say the least.

“I’d love to go out sometime, Dennis,” you tell him with a grin on your face. He blushes and reaches into his pants pocket to retrieve his phone, handing it to you to put your number in it.

“Just give me a call or text soon and we can work something out.”

“Sounds good. Well, I have to go see Kev, but I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“Yeah, definitely. See ya.” With that, Dennis left the room in search of his boss. You stayed put, waiting for your brother to return, which was around fifteen minutes later.

“Sorry about that, sis. Had a hard time getting one of the victims to leave. You ready to go?” Rob announces as he steps into the break room. You stand and follow him out of the room, after saying goodbye to everyone.

—

Two months pass and you and Dennis are now in a happy relationship. After your first date, you knew that you could see this becoming more. He was so nice and considerate, and even gave you his jacket when it started to rain on the walk back to your place. Since then, you two went on many more dates, spent many nights in together, and have grown incredibly close, even more than you expected you would.

The one thing was that you hadn’t told your brother you were dating his colleague. Although you didn’t really think it mattered; your relationships were none of his business, and based on what Dennis has told you, the two of them aren’t that close. But eventually, he finds out that you’re in a relationship when you go to lunch with him one day and can’t stop smiling down at your phone.

“Just tell me who it is!” Rob begs.

“It’s not that important. My relationship is none of your business. I don’t see why you need to know who the guy is.” But, Rob still persisted on finding out the guy that was dating his sister.

“Invite him over for dinner. I’ll have the girls with me and we can order some pizza in and get to know one another. I want to know the guy that makes my little sister happy.” Sighing softly, you think over the idea and decide that it may be time to come clean and tell him.

“Fine. I’ll talk it over with him. Just give me a date and time and I’ll see if he can make it.” Rob celebrated and quickly told you a date and time, which happened to be this weekend. You had a week to prepare for this.

—

“No, this isn’t gonna end well,” Dennis tells you after you asked him about the ordeal. You were spending the night with him and you figured it was a good time to bring the topic up.

“He’s going to find out sooner or later. Would you rather have him find out from us, or one of the guys or Ziggy at work?” Dennis is quiet for a second, realizing that he would rather have Rob hear it from the two of you.

“I mean, that’s a fair point, but…” he pauses, thinking over how to explain this. “Not many of my colleagues like me, including your brother. I haven’t...exactly made the best impression, but I’m trying.” The tone in Dennis’ voice told you something was really wrong.

“I don’t understand why they wouldn’t like you, Den. You are such a sweet guy, what could you have possibly done, huh?” He chuckles and shakes his head.

“It’s not easy to explain, but I have a hard time...accumulating to new situations and new people.”

“But you were fine with talking to me? Why is the crew different?”

“Because I think you’re stunning. I see you because I want to. I have to see them every day and work with them constantly, so they see sides of me that you don’t. I haven’t been the nicest at times, and I’ve gained the nickname Asbo for my tendencies.”

“Oh, bub. I’m sorry you have to go through that,” you coo, bringing him into your arms. He melts under your touch, immediately calming down.

“Alright, I’ll come with you,” he mumbles against your neck, pulling back to look into your eyes.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I want you to be happy, and I feel like this way of telling your brother is the best way. So I’ll come with you.” A smile spreads across your lips and you give him a quick kiss.

“It’ll all be fine, Dennis. I promise.” Oh, but it wouldn’t.

—

The day arrived and you and Dennis were making your way to your brother’s house.

“Babe, what if this doesn’t end well?” Dennis speaks up, sinking lower in his seat. You glance over at him with a worried expression.

“I told you everything will be fine, Den. Why are you worried?” He shrugged and stayed silent for the rest of the drive. When you pull up in front of the house, Dennis stiffens. You take his hand in yours for a moment, rubbing the back of it with your thumb.

“If something happens, we’ll leave, okay?” You offer. Dennis nods, takes a deep breath, and steps out of the car. You follow, then make your way up the steps. Even though it’s your brother’s house, you still felt the need to knock.

“Auntie (Y/N)!” Rob’s oldest daughter Riley yells out. You greet her with a hug, stepping inside with Dennis close behind you.

“Is the boyfriend here as well?!” You hear Rob ask from the kitchen.

“Yeah, he’s with me!” You respond.

“Great! So excited to finally me-” Rob steps into the living room and pauses when he sees Dennis. The vibe in the room changes immediately, and you could practically see the steam coming from your brother’s ears.

“What the hell is Asbo doin’ here?” He asks, stepping closer to you two. Dennis, terrified at this point, takes a step back and bumps into the closed door. You glance back at him and reach for his hand, which he declines.

“Rob, calm down, first of all. Dennis is an amazing guy and I have no idea why you hate him, from what he’s told me.” Rob chuckles sarcastically and shakes his head.

“He’s a fuckin’ lunatic, (Y/N)! He will get so angry if someone even looks at him the wrong way! Out of every man in the world, why choose him?!” You stare at him in disbelief, wondering what the hell got into your brother.

“You know, you were all for meeting him and insisting that you know who he is. Dennis is like any other guy, so why are you suddenly so upset and angry?!”

“Because Asbo isn’t like any other guy!” Rob continued to list the reasons why he doesn’t approve of Dennis, but you notice something. His daughters cowering away in fear of their father. You are quick to leave the scene and gather them into Riley’s room.

“I’m so sorry, girls. I have no idea what’s gotten into him,” you quietly apologize, bringing them in for a huge hug.

“Why doesn’t he like that man? He is cute,” Lola speaks up. You laugh and agree with her.

“He is cute, isn’t he? He’s also the sweetest guy ever, he’s really good with kids your age, you know.” The screaming continues, and you try your hardest to keep talking to drown out the noise. Finally, after a few minutes, the house suddenly goes silent.

“I’m gonna go see what happened, yeah? Stay here until someone comes to get you.” The four girls nod and sit down on the bed, huddling close to each other. As you exit the room, you find Rob pacing the living room, his hands running through his hair. Dennis is nowhere to be seen, and you know right away that Rob kicked him out.

“I cannot believe you, you fucking asshole! Who are you to tell me who I can and can’t date! I get that Dennis is your colleague, but it’s not like you two are super close. He’s come to my house after work, so many times, crying over how hard he’s struggling to fit in and how you lot aren’t very accepting of him at all. Hell, you’re fucking calling him Asbo, which he is not at all! I care about Dennis so much, and I haven’t seen him do one thing that you mentioned he does. Sure, the Dennis I see and the Dennis you see are different, but all in all, he’s still the same guy. A kind, caring, and misunderstood man who just wants to fit in and be loved.” You could tell your speech was getting to him, and he looked a bit regretful. But you didn’t care; the damage was already done.

“You might wanna go check on your daughters. You scared them pretty bad.” You don’t wait for his response, instead you leave the house, making sure to slam the door behind you. Dennis sat at the bottom of the porch steps, a puff of smoke escaping his lips. You take a seat next to him and he immediately puts the cigarette out, knowing how much you hate the nasty habit of his. After he throws the stick away, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and cuddled into him.

“I should’ve listened to you,” you whisper, starting the conversation. Dennis sighs and rubs his face with his hands.

“What he said isn’t true. You aren’t a lunatic, you are such an amazing guy, and I care so deeply about you.” Dennis still stays quiet, and you wonder what he is thinking about.

“Is this relationship worth it?” He asks. You suddenly sit up, your eyes roaming all over his face to find some sort of hint that would tell you he wasn’t being serious.

“What?”

“This relationship, is it worth the fight if your brother doesn’t approve of me?” You couldn’t believe what he was saying right now. Again, since when does your brother get to decide who you date?

“I don’t give a fuck what my brother says. He’s not dating you, I am. I want to be with you, Dennis. Fuck Rob and fuck him for thinking he can control what we want.” Your words seem to be falling on deaf ears because Dennis turns to you with a sorrowful look on his face, and shakes his head.

“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore,” he whispers, eyes darting down to his lap. Your jaw drops at what is happening, not wanting to believe it.

“No, Dennis. Why? Why do we have to break up?” Tears began to fall down your cheeks as you tried to get him to stay.

“I don’t want to come in between you and your brother. It’s better this way, yeah?”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know what good will come from this,” you beg as Dennis stands. Reaching out, you grab his wrist and stand to follow him, pleading him with all you have to stay and talk this out. But, he rips his arm from your grip and walks away without another word. You stand there, watching him disappear into an alleyway far down the street. Taking a seat back on the steps, you try and comprehend what the hell just happened.

You and Dennis are no longer together, your brother is the reason behind it all, and you were left alone during what was supposed to be a family and friends oriented season: Christmastime.

After a couple minutes, you make your way back inside to grab your purse that you left. Rob was sat on the couch, his youngest daughter in his arms.

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” he begins, but you don’t want to hear it.

“Save it, Rob. I can’t believe you.” With that, you exited his house for the second time, not planning on coming back anytime soon.

—

A month passes and you have yet to speak to Rob or Dennis. You were still so heartbroken over that day, and you still couldn’t believe that Rob acted that way. Life has been boring without Dennis by your side, and it was during this time when you realized how happy he made you. It got to the point where you figured out that you loved him. You loved him so much, and it hurt you every single day when you remembered he let you go so easily.

On Christmas Eve, a knock sounds through your home. Figuring it was your step-sister, although she never knocks when she visits, you are quick to open it. But, to your surprise, it was Rob. The look on his face said it all: he felt awful. As he should.

“What?” You question. Rob sighs and gazes down at his shoes.

“I came here to talk to you. May I come in?” You let him in, despite your feelings towards him at the moment. You both take a seat on the couch and you wait for him to begin his apology.

“I’m really sorry for what happened, (Y/N). I had no idea how much you two liked each other, and I never realized how much you changed Asbo. He’s been worse this past month. More prone to random outbursts of anger, he’s been down and sad every day, he doesn’t talk to anyone besides Kev. He just seems so much more messed up. I never realized why he had gotten worse until I found out that you two were no longer together.” You stay quiet, listening to his speech and apologies that were long overdue.

“I miss talking with my little sister. I feel awful for how I acted. I hate that I put judging someone over your own happiness. This past month has been hell, and I miss you. And I know Asbo misses you just as much.” The mention of Dennis missing you catches your attention. Rob chuckles and nods his head towards the door.

“Come on, I wanna make up for what I did.” Without an explanation, Rob drags you out of your house and into his car. When he arrives at the station, you are confused.

“Stay put,” he tells you. When he returns, you are shocked. Dennis is following him.

“I’m taking you two out for lunch!” You groan and roll your eyes, not believing him at all. He had something up his sleeve, and you knew it.

“Thank you!” Rob excitedly thanks the maitre-d for seating you. To distract your mind, you begin to look through the menu, finding something light that will settle your anxious stomach.

“So,” Rob begins, facing towards the both of you from where he sat next to you in the booth. “I want to formally apologize to the both of you for that ill-fated dinner. Dennis, it was wrong for me to judge you by how you are at work, and for thinking that you are the same outside of work, and (Y/N), for trying to control your relationship and telling you that who you’re dating wasn’t okay. I should have taken both of your guys’ happiness into consideration. I am so, so sorry.” You can hear the sincerity in his voice and you can tell that he really means it.

“Thank you, Rob.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Dennis finally speaks up. Hearing his voice after a month was like listening to a song you loved when you were a child; it brought back so many happy memories and it made your entire body tingle.

“If you guys would like to, I give you my acceptance to date again. Although your relationships aren’t based on what I think, I see how much you two care for each other. And I hate that I got in the way of that.” Rob is up and gone before either of you can respond. Being alone with Dennis felt odd, when it used to feel so natural and comfortable. You keep your eyes on your lap, fidgeting with your fingers as a way to keep yourself busy.

Dennis setting his hand on the table catches your gaze, though. You look up and find his hand outstretched for you to take. Eventually, when you gain enough energy to do so, you rest your hand in his, the feeling of electricity going through your entire arm when your skin touches his; just by holding his hand, you feel whole again.

“I’m sorry for leaving you because of what happened. I shouldn’t have left so quickly and I definitely shouldn’t have let you go so easily,” Dennis says softly. The restaurant is a little busy, but you are still able to hear his sweet voice.

“I just felt like it was the right thing to do. I didn’t want to come in between you and your brother.”

“I haven’t talked to Rob since I left that day. The only reason I’m here is because he dragged me out of my house and didn’t tell me where I was going.” Dennis laughs and squeezes your hand gently.

“I miss you,” you admit, staring into his green eyes. A sad expression covers his face as he hears the emotion in your tone. “I miss everything about you.” Dennis is silent for a moment, deciding on if he should ask the question he has been dying to since he saw you in the car.

“Will you be my girlfriend again?” He takes the risk, the want and need to be happy taking over everything in his body. A huge smile breaks out on your face as you nod in response.

“Yes, I will.” The smile on Dennis’ face matches yours. Suddenly, he moves from his seat across from you, sliding into the booth right next to you. He brings you into his arms, a place you missed so much, a place where you fell asleep so many nights.

“I missed you too, love,” Dennis tells you after pulling away. Your mind doesn’t even register your next move. You press your lips to his, desperate to feel and taste him again, humming out in content as he kisses you back.

“You don’t know,” Dennis starts, pausing to peck your lips once again, “how much I’ve missed you, love.”

“I missed you so much, Den. Can I stay with you tonight?” You wonder, not knowing if he’d be up for that so soon.

“Of course, darlin’. If you promise to spend all of Christmas with me?” He offers.

“Wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else, bub.”

•••

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#dennis severs #dennis severs imagines #dennis severs x reader #dennis asbo severs #the smoke #taron egerton #taron imagines #taron x reader #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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xserpentlife · 5 years

Text

He’s Coming

Requested: Anon But he only goes after “sinners” ya know maybe she’s been dating Pea and ends up pregnant but hasn’t told him and he’s all protective and is like why is he coming after you what did you do!? And she could be like it’s more like what we did... and that’s how she tells him? Idk just an idea

A/N: let me know if you guys want me to do any drabbles, or an extension on this after they have the twins or the ceremony or anything

Warnings: slight violence, nothing major

Summary: Reader finds out she is Pregnant with Sweet Pea’s baby. First problem is he has no idea. Second problem the black hood is still around.

Word Count: 4462

I sat staring at the counter. The test… it was positive something I never expected. We were always careful, always except for the one time a few weeks ago where we thought just once would be fine and it was so stupid of us, but Sweets ran out of condoms and we didn’t want to stop. I should have made him stop but, we were having such a good time. I was such an idiot, I was gonna ruin his life with this. I had to tell him he had to know what was going on. He would be fine with it I hoped, we had been together for 2 ½ years, granted it wasn’t a long time, but I was madly in love with him.

I walked downstairs when I heard a knock on the door. Who was at the door I thought. I didn’t invite anyone. I opened it to see Sweet Pea standing there. I just stared at him. I couldn’t tell him not now I wasn’t ready. What if the test was wrong I couldn’t freak him out for no reason.

“Hey Pea what’s up, come in”

“Baby you okay?”

“Yeah I just didn’t expect you”

“I got done with practice early and figured I would come by on my way home” He walked in giving me a hug before sitting on the couch to grab the remote. “Come sit with me” I went and sat down and we were watching a movie. It was about an hour and I heard a knock on the door. I went up to answer it not knowing who it could be because no one was supposed to come over. I looked down. Sitting on the step was a gift box with a tag that said BH. It couldn’t be... there was no way. I stood there staring down not moving.

Pea looked up from the couch “Babe you okay?”

“P… Pea” I said with a shaky voice. “Pea come here” he ran over looking over my shoulder and looked down as I pointed. “Pea is that?”

“I don’t know baby, go inside”

“Okay” I walked inside sitting on the couch as Sweet Pea came in as well sitting on the couch next to me. “Pea why would the black hood be sending me something”

“I don’t know” he began to untie the bow opening it. He lifted the lid off to reveal a letter inside. I picked it up. “Pea I, I’m scared to open it”

“Do you want me to?”

“No, no I got it” I started opening the letter slowly. When I got it fully open we started reading it. You have sinned Y/N. You are dating a Southsider. Fix your sin or pay the price. I dropped the letter as I finished letting it fall to the floor. Sweet pea grabbed my shoulders pulling me into his chest. “Hey it is going to be okay, we are going to figure this out”

“I am not losing you, not because of him Sweet Pea”

“It’s probably just a prank Y/N okay, don’t worry. I promise you that you won’t lose me” We laid there together for a few hours Pea holding me as I sobbed lightly into his chest. He didn’t know about the baby, and maybe the black hood didn’t either. I figured maybe I could go to a clinic in Greendale and just keep it a secret till he was caught and put in jail. Pea got a phone call and answered it, making me sit up. “Baby I really don’t want to leave you but I need to go FP called and I gotta go on a job. I will see you at school tomorrow okay everything will be okay I promise” but he didn’t know the biggest secret. “Alright” he came over pecking me on the lips before giving me a kiss to the forehead and said he loved me as he closed the door. I was beyond scared if the black hood found out that I was pregnant with his baby it wouldn’t be just one sin to him it would be multiple. I had to keep it a secret. Sweet Pea was safe for now as far as I know the black hood was only after me I couldn’t have him after Sweets too.

I went to sleep that night with the blade Sweet Pea gave me under my pillow. I was scared to death. I woke up the next morning throwing up everything I had in my stomach. Everything was fine for a few days no mention of the black hood and no threats, I figured maybe Sweet Pea was right maybe it was just a prank. It was the end of the week now and nothing happened. There was one day of school and then the weekend was coming, it would be fine. I had my appointment in Greendale and I was gonna take the bus there. I went to sleep and woke up the next morning, no package, no sign of danger everything was okay. I had to walk to school because Pea had my car at the mechanic fixing it up, and he had basketball practice this morning so he couldn’t pick me up like usual. I began my walk and it was casual till I felt a presence behind me. I was beyond scared. I took the knife out of my pocket as I turned around to a gun in my face. The green eyes of the Black Hood stared back at me and I froze. He held his hand up with a note. He gestured for me to take it and I did before I watched him run off into the distance. I turned running to school. I ran to the student lounge and Pea stood up instantly, and I ran into his arms.

“Y/N what happened, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“He, he had a gun… in my face”

“Who? Who had a gun”

“The bla… black hood” the nauseous feeling overtook as I ran to the nearest classroom throwing up. Sweet Pea came up behind me holding my hair back as I threw up. “Hey it’s okay baby” he handed me water and I took it. “Pea… he gave me another note” We looked at it something I hadn’t done, and it said open it when home.

“Okay, listen I am walking you home and we are opening that letter together okay” I heard the bell ring over us, but I just stood there. “I promise you baby it will be okay, I’ll figure this out” I wanted to believe it but I didn’t know if he could. School went by rather quickly and I went to meet everyone at lunch. Pea came up behind me and kissed me on the cheek as he sat down.

“Not eating baby girl?”

“Not hungry”

“Here eat this applesauce at least, I know you're scared but you need to eat” I didn’t want to I still had nausea, but I knew if I didn’t he would question me and I needed to keep him safe he couldn’t know. I took a bite of the apple before I got up running to the bathroom and I threw up. I heard the door open and Sweet Pea walk in.

“Okay Y/N what is going on you never get sick and this is the second time today”

“I don’t know Pea I think I’m just scared or something”

“Okay well we are skipping the rest of the day, we need to get you home and figure out what this note is so you can calm down. We will figure this out okay”

He helped me stand up bring me to his bike and to my house. On the door was a note Pea grabbed it off the door reading it before showing me. I hope you didn’t open your letter. I will know if you did. I gave him the key before he opened the door. Walking in before me holding onto my hand. I think he was scared someone would be inside. We sat on the couch as he grabbed the letter out of his backpack.

“Do you want me to open it?”

“Ye.. yeah we need to” he began to open it and I started shaking as I started to read it. I thought I told you to break up with the Southsider. If you do not listen to the demand you will pay the price. Both you and your Serpent boy. I am not bluffing, you know what I did to Fred Andrews the same can happen to your boy, and yourself but this time I won’t fail. The tears began to fall, I was full on sobbing as Pea sat there shocked, I could tell he was thinking about what to do.

“I…“

“Y/N” he stood up and kneeled in front of me. “Y/N I, I don’t want to do this”

“Pea… don’t”

“I don’t want to, but I think we have to. I need to know you’re safe. I need to keep you safe, it’s all I care about please”

“Pea you promised, you promised I wouldn’t lose you”

“Baby I’m sorry”

“Don’t!”

“Y/N I'm not doing this because I want to I am doing this because I have to. I want to keep you safe and the only way to do that is if we stop seeing each other. God all I want is to be with you, you are the love of my life but… I can’t let you get hurt. After the black hood is caught we can get back together I swear… but until then we can’t. I have to go I’m sorry” he stood up walking to the door, I stood up too following him sobbing, I grabbed him before he walked out. “Pea please, don’t do this please”

“I have to” I left the door open as I walked onto my porch watching him get on his bike. I fell to the ground sobbing. He was leaving me. The love of my life, the father of my baby… gone. He didn’t know but… I did and it broke me. I watched him as he began to drive off. He looked back at me but he kept going. I just wish he would have stopped. I stood up stumbling inside before shutting the door and sliding down the back of it. I sat there for hours sobbing. I looked to my phone when it beeped saying I had a text message. Good thing your Serpent left you, you are safe for now, but watch what you choose to do. I had to be careful everything I did, I needed to keep this baby and Pea safe.

Time Skip // Two Month

I went to the doctors in Greendale so the black hood wouldn’t find out, there have been more attacks from him but nothing against me. Sweet Pea and I stayed away from each other not even talking at school and it was killing me. It killed me from the first time I saw him after the break up. No one understood why, we didn’t want to involve them, we didn’t want them to know. After we broke up he returned my car I went into the glove box to find a drawing of me and a note. Y/N I'm madly in love with you, that will never change. Right now it is not safe to be together. We need to respect what the Black Hood wants from us but know that you will always live in my heart. I love you baby girl. Please remember that. The note got me through the past two months it was hard, the hardest thing I ever had to do. Along the way there were times that people would hand me notes, from Pea, just small things like I still love you, I am here, My heart is still with you. Though it has been the hardest time of my life I had been safe and Sweet Pea had been safe and that is all that I cared about. He still had no idea about the baby. I went to appointments by myself, but I never found out the gender I couldn’t not without him. School became harder and harder, my stomach was starting to show and hiding it was proving to be a challenge. I walked in and saw Sweet Pea sitting in the lounge with everyone. I walked past I couldn’t see him, not today. Today was one of the hard days. I turned the combination to my locker watching a paper slowly fall out. I figured it was a note from Sweet Pea possibly so I opened it. I was wrong, so wrong. I started reading and knew instantly it was a message from the Black Hood. Tisk Tisk Y/N, You played me. You are pregnant with his baby, this is not good. You are a sinner in more ways than one. There is no going back now. He doesn’t know, I understand that now. He left you to protect you. But there is no protecting you and the baby now. He can’t protect you because he isn’t with you. Watch your back dear child. Oh god. He knew, he knew everything. I had to get out of here, I had to leave, Pea couldn’t find out. The black hood would kill him. I ran as fast as I could and I bumped into Toni along the way.

“Y/N what’s wrong”

“I can’t tell you I just… I gotta go” I started running as I heard Sweet Pea behind me telling me to stop. It’s all I wanted to do. I wanted to stop, to fall into his arms but I couldn’t. I had to keep running, I needed to keep him and this baby safe and being here in school I wouldn’t be safe. I went out to my car I kept trying to start it but it wouldn’t turn on. All I could think about was that the Black Hood would find me but my only option was to walk. I started walking as fast as possible. I knew I wouldn’t be able to run all the way home. I heard it behind me the shuffle of someone following me. I turned slightly to see a face covered in black. I knew. I turned my phone on, I had to call Pea, I had to.

*Call*

“PEA!”

“Y/N are you okay, in the hallway earlier I should have seen if you were okay”

“SHUT UP! Listen, the black hood he’s he’s following me, Please come towards my house, I had to walk home my car broke down, Pea I’m scared”

“I’m coming and i’m bringing some serpents you are going to be okay keep walking pretend like your talking to someone else on the phone, I doubt he will do anything. Remember I love you”

*End Call*

I pretended that I was on the phone hoping I would be safe. I looked back and he was gone. Oh thank god he left. I turned back around so I could get to my house but I knocked into something. In front of me. The green eyes again, the black hood stood there. A gun pointed at me.

“Please, Please!. Don’t kill me it was an accident. Please” I heard the click back of the trigger. As he stepped towards me.

“Please don’t” I was sobbing and I closed my eyes hoping that at least it would be quick and painless. Before the shot could ring out I heard a thud of the metal of the gun on the ground. I looked up to see Fangs on top of him with his knife to his throat. Fangs had tackled him, they caught him, but what if he hurt Fangs, what if he hurt Pea. I shouldn’t have called, I should have kept them safe. I saw Sweet Pea running towards me and then all I saw was black.

*Sweet Pea’s POV*

I called FP to meet us since he was the Sheriff now. We pulled up on our bikes down the street. We snuck behind a bush as we saw the black hood with a gun to Y/N’s head. I couldn’t let him hurt her. I did everything to keep her safe and he was still after her. I pointed to Fangs to run towards him at the same time. Fangs was faster than me, he got there first tackling him to the ground. I was about to take Fangs off of him so I could beat him up myself but I saw Y/N swaying. I ran up behind her catching her before she fell backwards.

“Y/N! Y/N! Wake up!”

“Please baby wake up” My voice cracked as I tried shaking her but nothing worked, I heard the sirens of the cop cars coming towards us. I had tears welling in my eyes as FP ran up to me.

“Sweet Pea what happened?”

“We need to get her to the hospital now, NOW FP! PLEASE!” He helped me pick her up putting her in the back of the car, I sat with her head in my lap as FP drove us to the hospital. FP and I carried her inside.

“HELP!” a nurse came up. “What happened to her”

“I… I don’t know. Something stressful she had a gun pointed at her we got the guy away and then she just passed out. I caught her she didn’t hit her head but she won’t wake up. PLEASE HELP HER!”

“Put her on the stretcher” they started wheeling her back I still held onto her.

“Sir, Sir you need to let her go, let us help her” FP came over grabbing my shoulder and sitting me in a chair. For hours we sat there… nothing. Fangs and Toni came in sitting down next to me. I was sobbing, the love of my life could die and I did nothing but ignore her for the past two months. I had to know though. “Did you get him”

“I almost killed him, Sweet Pea I promise I almost did, One of the officers pulled me off before I could, they took him to the station. I couldn’t even get a look at him as soon as they took him from me I drove here, I’m sorry I should have found out who it was”

“No Fangs its okay, thank you”

“Did you eat Sweet Pea?”

“No.”

“Do you want anything”

“No. I do not want anything till I know she is okay” It felt like hours passed before I heard it. “Is there anyone here for Y/F/N Y/L/N” I pushed myself out of the chair as fast as possible, FP, Fangs and Toni following. “Me, we are, I am, Is she alright, please tell me she is okay”

“And you are”

“I am her boyfriend, these are her best friends and uncle” FP wasn’t but I figured she would answer to family more than just a boyfriend”

“Okay, well she is resting now, everything is okay, she is healthy along with the baby, she passed out from stress as well as dehydration, she seemed to not have much nutrients most likely from nausea”

“The what?”

“Her and the baby are alright sir you can relax now”

Alright I am going to grab the paperwork for her uncle and as long as it is okay with him you can go back first if you want to, she should be waking up soon” I nodded.

I spoke up as everyone was staring at me. “She… she’s pregnant and she didn’t tell me” the nurse came back and grabbed my shoulder leading me to the room. There laid my beautiful girlfriend, I could see the bump of her stomach through the hospital gown. I pulled the chair up next to her as I watched her chest rise up and down. She was pregnant, and I didn’t know. How did I notice when. I wasn’t there and I should have been. I grabbed her hand in mine bringing it to my lips. I sat there in silence. I needed her. I needed her to know how sorry I was for not being there.

*Y/N POV*

I started to see the black dissipate as the light came into my eyes, It was bright. I slowly started to open my eyes and I felt a pressure around my hand. I heard slight cries, I was about to say something before I realized. I shot up jerking the hand that was holding mine.

“THE BABY! IS THE BABY OKAY! PLEASE TELL ME THE BABY...” I started sobbing before I was pulled into a familiar chest.

“Hey, hey calm down. The baby is fine I promise you. I promise nothing is wrong with you or the baby okay? You passed out from lack of eating from you getting sick so much. Your okay shhh, I’m here and it’s gonna be okay” I sat there sobbing. Wait… he knew.

“Pea… I”

“Y/N I am so so sorry, I am so sorry I wasn’t there to protect you or our baby”

“It isn’t your fault”

“It is I should have figured it out the first day you had the sickness, I knew something was off but then all the shit happened I just wanted to protect you”

“This isn’t your fault because I didn’t tell you when I should have. I was trying to. I figured if you didn’t know you would be safe, but it didn’t matter he found out. Oh god! And now you know and he may kill you Pea… he could kill you”

“No, he is in jail. Fangs tackled him, FP drove us here why the other officer took him to the station. You are safe now.”

“Are.. are you sure”

“I promise you, that you are safe. He is in prison and he will stay there. And I swear to you I am here now, no matter what happens with him, whatever is thrown at us I will help you, I will be here, and I will keep you safe. I promise” I scooted over so he could sit next to me. “Pea, can you sit”

“Of course baby girl” He took off his boots sitting next to me in the bed. I laid my head onto his shoulder, being around him always made me feel safe. Pea spoke up again. “Baby girl. Could… Could I put my hand on your stomach”

“Of course Sweet pea” I pulled the dress above my stomach. And a huge smile spread across his face “That’s insane, I... I can see it your stomach it’s huge. I know you had to have had appointments” his smile faded and he looked to the side of the room “Y/N Did… Did you find out the gender” I pulled his face to mine. “I did have appointments yes but I told them I didn’t want to know the gender, I have an appointment this week, we could go together and find out”

“I’d like that” the doctor walked in then “Ah miss Y/N your awake. How are you feeling?”

“I am alright, how is the baby”

“The babies are doing great”

“Wha… what, the babies as in plural?”

“Yes miss you are having twins”

“I’m having what now”

“Twins did you find out the genders yet, this must be an exciting time for you two?”

“No... no we didn’t. We are going to have an appointment this week to find out?”

“Oh how fun, well you are allowed to leave now. I will have a nurse come in to take out your IV”

“Pea… I, I had no idea. I, I can't do this how are we going to care for one baby let alone two babies. I can’t do this it’s impossible” he turned my face towards his. “Hey, hey it is not I baby it is we. I know this is scary. I mean I am scared shitless, but I will be here with you through everything I promise you that” he stood up off the bed helping me stand and bring my clothes to me. “Wait, before you do that. I wasn’t going to do this now, I was going to plan a whole thing but I can’t wait”

“What are you” he kneeled down onto one knee. “Pea…”

“Y/N you are the love of my life. And now the mother of my children. I knew from day one that I was going to do this one day. Now realizing how short life can be, and the chances we have I… I don’t want to wait. So baby girl Y/N will you marry me”

“YES! Yes I will marry you” Hearing cheers in the background, I looked down to see the most beautiful simplistic ring. It was absolutely perfect. “Pea, this… this is absolutely beautiful”. Toni, FP and Fangs came in hugging me and congratulating us.

“Okay guys I am happy too, but let’s get the baby mama home to rest, baby girl are you ready”

“Yeah I’m ready” Pea drove me home in Fang’s truck, because he left his bike parked down the street from my house where they found me. We walked inside and I sat on the couch. As he walked into the kitchen. “Y/N do you want water or juice?”

“Water is fine Sweets, thankyou” He came back sitting next to me and I laid down in his lap looking up at him. “Sweets”

“Yeah baby girl?”

“Well you asked me something really big today and I have been wanting to ask you something before everything happened”

“Whats up?”

“I know you hate the Northside, but I hope now that the black hood is out of the picture the fights and everything will start to die down. We now have two babies on the way and… and I want to be all in with you. Do you, or would you want to maybe move in with me. If not I get it I will move in with you I’ll sell this house and…”

“Hey calm down baby, I do hate the Northside, but I would live anywhere if it means being with you. I will move in with you, for now”

“For now?”

“Yes, for now until I can save enough money to get you the home of your dreams”

“Not you Pea remember this is we, us now. We will save up to get the home of our dreams… together”

“We are forever baby girl and nothing will change that, I love you”

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the-smartest-mallard · 4 years

Text

Please just listen (’cause I don’t ask for much)

SUMMARY: In which Huey meets his dad NOTES: lots of angst but it’s sweet in the end. also idk who to tag in this but big thank u to lena who writes the most excellent long lost father lmao

HUEY:

Ooooh Huey couldn’t believe he’d done this. Huey could not believe he had done this and he hadn’t even told his brothers and oh, they were gonna kill him, when they found out about this (which they would, inevitably, because they were brothers and brothers had a way of just Knowing, it was a wonder Huey had kept this up in the first place—) they were gonna use the books in his room to beat him to death and he would probably deserve it, too, for being a crappy brother.

And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to turn around. Even though he thought about it, several times, and he checked over his shoulder to see if there was anyone there, make his escape like he had never ever been there at all...

It had taken a few hours and a few trains to get back to Duckberg, but Huey had made it. His palms had sweated the entire way there and though he’d tried listening to a podcast to pass the time, he wasn’t sure he had heard any of it. He had the address written on a piece of paper, printed in his neat script, but he had it memorised by now. Not that he would throw the paper away, just in case it fell out of his head, never to be remembered again.

Huey had gotten off the train in Duckberg and had considered turning around and getting back on a train, back to Swynlake; he could be home in a few hours and it would be like he had never left at all. He did, in fact, have his return journey booked — he had known he wouldn’t be able to get away with staying the night, and besides… what if his dad didn’t want him to stay the night?

Yes, his dad. Every so often Huey allowed himself to think about it. Allowed himself to be excited: I’m gonna meet my dad, not just see him in a photo, see him for real, my own father! And then it was immediately followed with doubt. What if he doesn’t want to see me? And guilt. Why didn’t I tell Dewey and Louie? What will Uncle Donald think, when he finds out?

Huey took a deep breath, and looked at the door. The house was a perfectly ordinary house, on a perfectly normal street, in a perfectly normal neighbourhood, which for some reason wasn’t what he had expected. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but it certainly wasn’t this, suburbia at its finest.

Huey twitched, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He knew what Mei would do, if she were here: she would knock, no hesitation. Though why it mattered what Mei would do was beyond Huey, because she wasn’t here. She knew who her father was. Though admittedly, it had been very nice of her to cover for him — maybe he should have brought her along.

No, no, he needed to do this. Before he could lose courage again Huey surged forward, rapping his knuckles against the door in three quick knocks before he took a step back. There was no immediate response, and as the seconds ticked by, Huey got antsy again. He should leave. Obviously there was no one in. Maybe he had the address wrong. Yeah, that was probably right. He was in the wrong place entirely, silly him! Okay, better head back to the train station, get a cup of tea and wait a while—

When the door swung open Huey blinked, mouth falling open a little, the intention to speak there but no words coming out.

“Um— sorry. Hi. I’m— I’m Huey.”

IWAN:

Iwan Drake lived a perfectly normal suburban life. In the morning he would get up early to make coffee and ready breakfast for himself and his wife who was running on little sleep with the new baby waking them both up at every hour of the night. Life was pretty good for Iwan Drake as he readied himself for a relaxing weekend at home. The routine was the same, so he was up and about the house early, cleaning up, sipping at his coffee and settling in front of the tv to watch the news.

Neither he nor his wife had expected any visitors. In fact, Iwan had nestled himself comfortably on the couch by the time the doorbell rang. His wife had just settled next to him to feed little Richard when it happened, and the baby made a little wail of a noise. “Don’t worry darling, I’ve got it,” Iwan said, getting to his feet and making his way over to the door.

He opened it wide, ready to tell some solicitor that he didn’t want to buy any of their products. But instead of a solicitor, it was a boy. A boy with very familiar looking curls stood in front of him. It was unmistakable. After all, Iwan knew how he’d looked as a boy. There was no denying that the boy in front of him looked a great deal like he had. Besides the eyes. Those eyes came directly from Ella.

“Huey?” He echoed, voice cracking a little as he almost reached out as if to prove to himself that the boy was real. This wasn’t a hallucination. One of his boys was standing in front of his door and introducing himself to him. Iwan had always hoped he’d be able to see his boys again, but he didn’t think it would be like this. “Honey? Who’s at the door?”

The man took a breath and let it out again, carefully scanning over Huey as if to see just how he’d grown and how time had passed since he’d held the boy in his arms. “It’s my son. It’s...one of the boys.” He’d told his wife about them, of course. They’d had a long conversation about whether or not to try and reach out and gain custody again. Iwan wished for it. He wanted to be able to take care of his kids properly. He resented the fact that Donald had never helped him to figure things out, he’d just taken the boys and decided to raise them on his own. It hurt. It hurt to see Huey for the first time in so many years.

“Come….why don’t you come in Huey?”

HUEY:

The door opened and it reminded him of that weird Harry Potter dream, of looking into the Mirror of Erised and seeing himself all grown up. Oh, for sure, Huey had the right house. The man in front of might as well have been a fourth triplet, for all he looked like Huey and his brothers.

Huey didn’t know what to do. He wanted to step forward and hug him, he wanted to turn around and run. Part of him wanted to yell, which was strange cause Huey was never really an angry person, but then again when it came to his brothers, sometimes he was. He wanted to demand an answer. He wanted to know where his dad had been all these years.

The call from inside the house drew his eyes away, over his dad’s shoulder, and Huey blinked, the only outward sign of him freezing up like a deer in the headlights, or something - there was someone else inside the house. A woman. A honey. Suddenly Huey felt tears prick at his eyes and he didn’t exactly know why but he felt like he was intruding. He should leave. This was a mistake — he needed to go.

But then Iwan invited him in, and Huey, mouth dry and hands shaking, just a little, didn’t know what else to do.

“O-okay.” He nodded, stepping past his dad into the house.

IWAN:

It was still a sight to behold, and Iwan was reeling because of it. One of his boys! Iwan never thought he’d get the chance to see them again. He’d tried to get in touch with Donald before. Honestly, he’d tried to communicate with the man before he’d taken the kids in too, but hadn’t worked out well. So to see one of his kids nearly fully grown and okay was....jarring.

“Huey, this is my wife Angela. Angela this is…this is Huey,” he said, a small smile on his face. “And of course there’s also little Richard.” He introduced the baby, even though he wouldn’t be able to do anything to greet Huey. It was the principle of it really. They were half-brothers. Angela was still nursing Richard, and Iwan was at a loss of what to do...what to say. Where to even begin with this.

So he went to the kitchen and quickly filled two glasses of water, setting one down at the dinner table. “Here, come sit lad. I’m sorry I’m not very...I don’t know…” he was admittedly a little frazzled. “How are the boys? Dewey and...and Louie,” he asked, though he wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to do that much. “Are you well? I’m sure your uncle has been taking good care of you...hasn’t he?”

HUEY:

The wife and the baby made Huey want to shout Sorry! and run out of the door, run all the way back to Swynlake, cause he was intruding wasn’t he? He should have tried to call, or something, he should have reached out first rather than showing up…

“It’s nice to meet you.” He told Angela, sounding a little hollow and blinking owlishly, but ever the good, polite boy his uncle had raised him to be. He looked at the baby again and then glanced quickly away, looking at his dad— at least he seemed just as confused as Huey felt.

Huey went to the kitchen when he was told to, sitting down in one of the chairs and taking the glass that was offered. He didn’t drink from it, just wrapped his hands around it and tapped his thumbnail against the glass, looking at his dad like he was afraid to look away, lest he disappear again.

“They’re— they’re fine.” He nodded. Now his throat felt dry, but still he didn’t move the glass. “Uncle Donald— yeah. He looks after us. We, um. We live with Uncle Seamus. It’s a farm, it’s— it’s good.”

He swallowed thickly, looking at the glass again. “My brothers— Uncle Donald— they don’t know I’m here. I didn’t. Um. I didn’t want them to know. What I was doing.” The words were beginning to tumble out of his mouth, faster and faster. “But then I found your address and I didn’t know what to do with it and my friend told me I should come and I think it’s the first time I’ve ever come this far on my own, like, without any of them knowing, and maybe I should have called first, I don’t know, I just— I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I thought I had to come and— and here I am. So.” He looked at his dad again, blinking a few times. “Yeah.”

IWAN:

“I’m glad you came,” Iwan said first, wanting to make it quite clear that no matter how awkward this situation was (and it was certainly that), he wasn’t upset that the boy had turned up. Iwan had spent a lot of time debating over getting into contact with the boys and with Donald. But remembering the past and the custody debates...it was a difficult thing to try to reach out to their guardian.

Dozens of questions were bubbling up, though Iwan was careful not to just throw them out there. Huey had to be overwhelmed enough. After all, this was the first they’d seen each other since he was a baby. And now here Iwan was with a new wife and baby. It...well he knew it was a strange thing. But Iwan had recovered eventually, and he had found himself new happiness after losing Ella and his kids.

Iwan took a breath and let it out again, managing a small smile. “You know, you ramble just like your mother used to. I wonder…” he seemed to be lost in thought for a long moment before he drew himself back into the moment and the conversation. “I suppose you might have as many questions for me as I have for you. Are you hungry? We can go grab a bite and talk privately. I know Angela and the baby will be alright for a little while.”

HUEY:

I’m glad you came, his dad said, and Huey didn’t know if he was going to cry or not. He blinked a few times, willing away any tears that would well up, because he wasn’t going to cry today. He wasn’t going to panic, and he wasn’t going to give up, and he most certainly want going to cry. All of the emotions crackling under his skin (and there were so, so many, joy and anger and hurt and confusion and so many more, all right there, squabbling for attention) were pushed deep down, where he could deal with them later, back in the safety of his own bedroom.

Huey was still blushing a little from the minor rampage he had gone on — sometimes it was like he just couldn’t stop the words coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t even sure where he came from, cause half the time, when he really got to rambling, his thoughts were so scattered he wasn’t sure how he articulated them at all. The words were just there, falling out of his mouth… but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. At least, not if he shared it with his mum.

It was strange though — the mention of his mother. It wasn’t like Huey had forgotten about her, of course not, but… well. There was nothing to be done there, was there? His dad, Huey had known, was still out there somewhere. Real, alive, traceable. Living now with a new family, and for a second it felt strange for his dad to bring her up, as if there were no years, no distance between them, and they were reminiscing together. But before it could get awkward, the moment was over, and Huey was glad of it. He wouldn’t have known what to say.

“I… I would like that. Yeah.” He was almost afraid to glance into the living room, to admit that he was a stranger, intruding on a new life. He looked to his dad instead and nodded, a few errant curls falling into his eyes. “I, um— I have a train to catch. In a few hours. But food — and talking — would be good.”

IWAN:

Iwan nodded, moving toward the entryway to where he could grab a coat, glancing over at his wife to make sure once more that she was okay with him going. One short nod and he was able to bundle himself up, glancing over at the boy to make sure that he had something warm enough for outside.

It was a strange moment, though Iwan didn’t let this deter him from leading his son toward the well liked pizza place down the street. He would love to be able to spoil the kid and all, but money was a little tight, and he wasn’t even sure that Huey would appreciate going overboard yet either. They were still feeling each other out after all.

The man held open the door to the place he liked, gesturing for Huey to go in. “I hope you’re okay with pizza. Worst comes to worst you can take some leftover for your train ride. If it’s a long one.” Iwan didn’t even know where it was his son had come from. Back in the day the kid had lived in Duckberg too, but clearly it wasn’t the same now. He wouldn’t have a clue as to where Donald had decided to move them all.

Iwan’s focus went right back on Huey as soon as the waiter had them seated. “There now. This’ll be better won’t it? I’ll admit I’m not sure where to begin...so perhaps if you have any questions, or anything you’d like to get off your chest…”

HUEY:

Huey walked alongside his dad, sneaking glances at him from the corners of his eyes as if he was worried he would disappear. And to be honest, it was a genuine worry. He wasn’t even sure any of this was real, maybe his dad was just an illusion. Maybe he was a dream, maybe all of this was a dream and any second his dad would just disappear into thin air, or in a puff of smoke, and Huey would never see him again.

If it was a dream, though, it was a very good one. Huey nodded mutely when Iwan asked if pizza was alright; he had no appetite whatsoever, but he was a teenage boy, so he’d eat pretty much anything that was put in front of him. “It’s. It’s not too far of a journey, um— I had to change trains, in London, but it’s not so bad. We live in Swynlake. The magic friendly town? Near Wiltshire.”

How had his dad not known that? Surely Uncle Donald must have told him as much; or then again, maybe he hadn’t told their dad anything at all. Maybe that was why their dad had never been in touch, because he hadn’t even known where to begin, but then that didn’t sound very much like Uncle Donald. And anyway, Huey was a sixteen year old boy and he’d been able to find his father’s address (sure, it had been slightly illegal, but he’d still done it), so really Huey didn’t know what to think.

Questions. Things to get off his chest. Huey was quite literally biting his tongue to keep on word-vomiting all over the table, but then he was given permission, and what else could he do? He watched the waiter’s retreating back and then looked at his dad, his lip trembling a little as he began. “Why didn’t you get in contact with us? Why didn’t you fight harder for us in the first place? Does— does Uncle Donald keep you updated, or something,” He was rambling again, tears in his eyes, now, but he kept his hands tucked beneath the table. “because he mustn’t, right, cause if he did you would know more about me, about us, wouldn’t you? Why didn’t you try harder?”

IWAN:

Iwan had expected it to get awkward. And he had expected it to be uncomfortable. It had been years since he’d seen his son. Of course the kid would have a lot of questions. And not all of them would be easy to answer. Though he was doing a lot better now, Iwan still carried a lot of guilt with him. The most guilt came from not having been strong enough to take care of his kids when he should have.

“I’m sorry Huey,” Iwan said first, tempted to look down rather than face his son’s hurt head on. But he had done enough damage in the past. Even if he hadn’t meant to do it. “I did fight for you. For all three of you. I...it was a difficult time for me. I’m not trying to make you sympathize, but just help you understand what was happening.” Iwan knew that he had screwed up. He knew it, but he still felt a little betrayed by Ella’s brother. Though the two of them hadn’t been married for very long, it had been an important relationship to Iwan, and losing her had really devastated him.

There were times where he wondered why Donald wasn’t as devastated. Or how he was able to overcome it better. “I was grieving your mother. I’ll admit, I took it very hard. She was the first love of my life. And even now I sometimes think about the way she would smile or ramble on…” Iwan sighed and shook his head. This wasn’t all about his love story.

“In any case, I was grieving and really struggling with that and with you boys. Donald came in one day and I had done nothing for you. I know. I know I failed as a parent there. I was a complete mess. But somehow I thought...well heck, we’re still family. Donald’s here, maybe we’ll find a way to work through it all.” This idea clearly hadn’t worked out. He didn’t need to say more for Huey to recognize that. “The fight for custody was long and ugly to me, and I couldn’t justify myself being your guardian over your uncle. I was a mess. But even when he won custody I thought I’d have the chance to see you. I am your dad after all. I thought maybe when I was more put together he’d let me see you kids. That we could talk about it.”

Iwan’s vision blurred for a moment and he had to wipe his eyes quickly to keep himself from crying. “I don’t know. It’s like after your mother died, your uncle and I couldn’t really communicate. I was a drunk mess half the time...and you kids were put in the best place that you could be.” He leaned forward to study Huey carefully. “You guys really are doing well right? Your uncle giving you what you need?”

HUEY:

Huey hadn’t thought about that. About his mother, and how that might have affected his dad. In truth, he didn’t think about his mother too much, which was maybe a bad thing, but… he didn’t remember her. And he knew there was no getting her back. His dad, though, their dad — That was a different story.

Huey tried to think of what Uncle Donald had told them about Iwan. He tried to set the two stories out side by side, looking for the bias, but it was difficult. He loved Uncle Donald, he had raised him and his brothers, he had always been like their father, and yet this was his father, sitting right in front of him, and it didn’t seem fair, if it was true.

But how did Huey know that it was true?

“We’re— fine.” He nodded. “He looks after us. Uncle Seamus, too.”

Huey paused. He could keep asking questions, but he felt like he had to do something else. He took his phone out of his pocket and opened the camera roll, opening up a photo of he, Louie and Dewey from not too long ago. He slid the phone across the table, fingertips resting against the tabletop.

“That’s us. That’s Dewey,” he pointed. “And Louie. They don’t know that I’m here. Nobody, um— nobody does. Except my friend. So. That’s probably kinda dangerous, you could’a been anyone, but anyway— that’s us. We’re fine.”

He paused, the photo still there, three smiling faces looking up. “Did you think about us? Ever?”

IWAN:

“Good. That’s good.” Iwan had never felt good about being cut off from them completely. Not knowing how his boys were doing or if Donald gave them what they needed properly was...well it was hard. At least Huey was able to tell him that things were going okay. Iwan had looked him over, of course. He wanted to be sure that he was doing well enough. Not that everything could be seen on the surface level, but he seemed well fed and everything.

Iwan leaned forward a little so that he could get a good look at the boy’s phone. There they were. All three boys almost all grown up. It was hard to believe. And it made him wish, as he had many times in the past, that Ella was still around to appreciate it. Still, Iwan was lucky enough to be able to see it, and that was important to note.

“Of course I did. I still do,” Iwan replied softly, smiling down at the picture before he leaned back a little. “When Angela got pregnant it was all I could think about really. Whether I could be a good dad to this kid if I’d failed my boys. If I even deserved this kind of happiness...I’ve thought a great deal about you. And I know I always will.” They were his kids, even if he didn’t get to raise them. Of course Iwan would think about them.

HUEY:

The photo made Huey feel twitchy, because all of a sudden it dawned on him: his brothers didn’t know about this. His brothers hadn’t agreed to this, who was huey to tell this man, even if he was their father, all about them, without them even knowing—

He stifled his discomfort by reaching for the phone, clicking it off so the screen went black, the picture gone. He slipped his hands into his lap, the phone held carefully between them, his knee bopping up and down in a fast, fidgety rhythm.

“Why didn’t you try to find us? Contact us?” Huey asked. Sure it was a heartbreaking story, him worrying about not being a good enough dad, etc etc, but— “I’m a sixteen year old with a computer and I found you. I mean— I guess it was kind of illegal. You could probably have me arrested, I had to, um, back a few websites. But that’s not the point you’re… a grown up. With money.”

“Although I guess— I don't know. Maybe if you’d showed up, we — I don’t know what my brothers would have done.” Would they be angry, or excited? He wasn’t sure, honestly. He would’ve been wary, he knew that, so maybe it had to be this way. He was meant to find his dad, not the other way round.

“Is there—“ Huey cleared his throat, looking at his dad. “Is there anything you want to ask me? Anything else, I guess.”

IWAN:

Iwan took a deep breath and let it out again. “I had no legal right to do it.” That was the simple answer. The more complicated one was that the custody battle between Iwan and Donald had been incredibly ugly, and by the end of it, rather than them coming to a reasonable decision regarding the boys, Iwan had lost all of his rights to the boys: visitation, any of it. He wasn’t allowed to see them or look into them. Up until this point, he had been writing letters to Donald, hoping that maybe they could change things now that he was financially and emotionally stable. The man never responded to his letters.

The pizza chose that moment to appear before them, though Iwan was finding himself with a lot less appetite than he might have had before. Ah well. He’d just pass as much of it along with Huey when he went home and eat the rest later. Iwan reluctantly took a slice and sighed. “I’m not sure what your uncle has told you about the custody agreement. If he’s told you anything about it at all. But I lost all of my rights to you boys. I didn’t get the chance to have anything close to visitation rights. If I came near you I would imagine your uncle would have taken me to court again.” An awful enough experience the first time. He wasn’t sure he could handle another round with his ex brother-in-law.

He glanced Huey over and nodded slightly. “I do. What do you like to do? Do you have a favorite subject in school? Do your brothers? Do you boys get along with each other? I’d...well I’d like to know as much about you and them as I can.”

HUEY:

Huey didn’t know that, because Iwan was right; Uncle Donald never told them anything. He never really talked about it, and sometimes Huey didn’t like to ask because, as curious as he was, sometimes he felt guilty for thinking about his birth parents. Uncle Donald had done such a good job, and he was still doing a good job — three toddlers couldn’t have been easy, and Huey really doubts three teenagers was even remotely better, but still. It wasn’t like they didn’t have a nice home and a family and stuff.

But he did want to know. He wanted to know the whole story. And his appetite didn’t suffer a single bit, because even if he was nervous and a little nauseous, he was a teenage boy. Nothing came between him and free food. He chewed the end of a piece of pizza as Iwan spoke, his eyes wide as he took in the details Uncle Donald had never told him.

It sounded… ugly. Messy. No wonder Uncle Donald hadn’t wanted to talk about it, although… well, all Huey knew was that he wouldn’t have minded a little contact with his father over the years, even if it was fairly limited. He doubted it would have made him love his Uncle any less. It definitely would have helped him to understand where he came from, who he was, just a little more.

“Uh…” Huey swallowed his bite of pizza and began picking at the cheese as he thought about all those questions. “I read a lot. And explore a lot. Me and Dewey sometimes explore together. My favourite subject is probably chemistry, but I like school, I guess? So my favourite subject changes a lot. I don’t know about Dewey but Louie’s is probably de—” He stopped himself shoving some cheese in his mouth. Detention was probably only a funny joke if Louie was in the room. “We get along. I try to look after them, burden of being the oldest. I didn’t… I didn’t tell them I was coming here cause I knew they would want to come, and if they came and they got their hopes up and then you wouldn’t see us, or you weren’t what they were expecting, and it crushed them that would— it would have been my fault.” He was rambling again, so he shoved a little more cheese in his mouth to force him to take a pause. “And I didn’t want to do that to them.”

IWAN:

Iwan nodded, slowly taking a bite of pizza himself and sighing. He understood not wanting to tell family about meeting him. Honestly if he were in that position, Iwan would likely have done the same thing. It was protecting family. And as a father he would want the boys protected too, no matter how that worked. He hoped he’d get to meet Dewey and Louie eventually. He definitely did. But perhaps they could ease into it somehow. If he could try to get in touch with Donald once again.

“I understand. I don’t blame you for wanting to protect them.” Iwan smiled and took another bite of his pizza, chewing quickly before adding, “you did a very brave thing here Huey. I hope you know that.” Iwan was proud of the kid for putting in the effort. Even if it was awkward, even though he hadn’t known how it would go. Huey had done it. That was amazing. “What do you want to do from here? I’d like to get to know you better...and your brothers if they want to. I can give you my number perhaps? Something to keep in touch?”

HUEY:

Huey didn’t know that it was brave. Stupid, maybe. Selfish. Both of those and more, and if and when his brothers found out… when his uncle found out…

This had probably been a bad idea.

But Huey looked across the table at his dad and he couldn’t bear to regret it. He had wanted to meet his dad, and now he had. He wanted to know his dad. His brothers would come first, they always would, but his dad… he wasn’t as bad as Huey had thought he would be, what he had always expected. Some deadbeat, couldn’t look after his kids, didn’t want to. He wasn't perfect, sure, but neither was Huey, or Uncle Donald, or anyone.

“You can give me your number,” Huey nodded, swallowing another bite of pizza. He reached for his bag, pulling open the front pocket to produce a small notepad and a pen. “I’ll, um. I’ll text you, later. I need to tell my brothers first and then… then we can see. But I—“ Huey shifted in his seat — he’d been a fidgety kid, ants in his pants, eager to get away from the table and keep on going and the urge had never left him, “I-I would like to get to know you better too. Dad.”

IWAN:

A smile spread across Iwan’s face at that. He had been hopeful, of course he had. Hopeful but unsure whether their meeting now had shown Huey enough, if his son had enough with just this one face to face meeting. He didn’t want it to be enough. Largely because Iwan didn’t feel as if he had enough time to talk to his boy. And he wanted to get to know Huey. He wished he could get to know all three of his boys, but he would have to be patient on that front.

“Of course. You know where to find me now too. If you need anything...let me know.” He leaned over to carefully write his name and then his number down on the notepad that Huey had on him. It was smart of him to be so prepared, and he couldn’t help but be a little bit proud. He hadn’t done much to contribute to that, but his kid was smart. It made him feel a little better. One of his sons was just fine. The others he hoped would be doing okay as well.

Iwan nodded, gently pushing the notepad back toward Huey. “Now that we’re aware of each other, I think that will be fairly easy to do. How much time do you have? I don’t want you to get in trouble at home.”

HUEY:

Huey took the notepad back, glancing briefly at his dad’s handwriting, knowing he was going to end up obsessing about it a little as he made his way back home. Was it like his? Was it different? But never mind; for now he slipped it back into his backpack, zipping it up tight and patting it from the outside to make sure that it was settled and correct.

“I have— about an hour.” Huey decided, looking at his watch. He probably had about an hour and a half before he needed to be at the station, really, but he liked to be at the station early and he still wasn’t entirely over the guilty feeling of being here, no one knowing, just... spending time with his dad.

Not that that was going to stop him, though.

#journal.#eeeeEEEEEE #also i know i already said it but again big thanks to lena

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bxcketbarnes · 6 years

Text

Nicknames

Pairing: Calum Hood/Reader

Words: 1436

Author’s Note: Anon has requested... Okay could I maybe get something where you’re dating Calum but you’re nervous to call him Cal? Bc to me nicknames are like super personal and I’m nervous to use a family/ close friend nickname if I’m not super close w them? Idk. And one day you accidentally call him Cal and he fucking loves it and he’s speechless for a sec and ur super insecure bc you think he’s mad&u apologize bc ur like “it’s a reserve nickname” whatev but he tells you he loves it and just like... fluffy fluff fluff pls? and I have delivered! I hope this is how you wanted it to be like and I apologize if I strayed too far from what you’re expecting! Hope y’all enjoy :) xox

Calum and I were a fairly new couple. We've been seeing each other for almost three months. A part of me wishes we could be closer than we are… maybe? I mean, he tells me all about the album they're making right now and that's super personal, right? Maybe it's just me.

I sit on the couch in my apartment, chewing on my fingernails as I was deep in thought about our relationship.

“Y/N, it's your first relationship,” your best friend, Cat, starts and you glance towards the brunette, “it's normal to have doubts and concerns. I just think you should talk to Cal about it.”

I groan, a bit envious on how she can freely call him Cal. Never once in our friendship or relationship have I called him that. I know basically everyone does, but to me, nicknames like that are super personal. It's something I've always thought about.

“I just… I don't wanna bring this up with them writing their new album. He needs to focus on that,” I mumble sadly, letting out a huff of breath.

Before Cat had the chance to speak my phone rings, the ringtone I set for Calum blaring. I pick up my phone, answering it immediately. “Hey, you.”

“Hey, baby. Whatcha up to?”

I glance towards my best friend and she gives me a thumbs up. “Just hanging out with, Cat. How was your writing session?” I ask, tucking a strand behind my ear.

“It was great! Got a lot done,” I could hear the smile in his voice and a small smile came to my lips. “Do you wanna come over?”

My lips part for a few seconds before bringing my bottom lip between my teeth. “U-Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'd love to. Let me just get ready and I'll be over in ten minutes,” I tell him.

“Alright, cutie. See you soon,” Calum almost whispers and I nod, bidding each other goodbye before hanging up.

I set my phone on the arm of the chair, glancing towards Cat. “I'm going over to his house,” I mumble to her, feeling the nerves heighten.

“That's great! Now you can talk to him. It's fate, darling. You’ll be fine. The boy likes you so much,” she informs me and I nod my head as she gets up to leave. “I'll see you later!”

The front door closed and I sat still on the couch, staring blankly at the carpet. I snap out of my daze, pushing myself up to grab a few things before heading to Calum's.

I slowly bring my fist up, softly knocking on his door before waiting. Shuffling could be heard around inside as I chuckle, imagining him tripping over stuff while trying to answer the door. The heavy wooden object opens, Calum standing in the doorway with a large smile on his lips.

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets before leaning down to press a quick kiss to my lips.

My cheeks blush, still not used to him kissing me. “Hey, handsome,” I grin and he moves to the side to invite me in.

“I picked up some takeout on the way back. I thought we could eat and just talk? I feel like I haven't seen or talked to you in a week,” Calum mumbles as we head to the small kitchen table and we sit across from each other.

The two of us began to eat in silence for a bit before I decide to speak up. “So, there's this festival at the beach in San Diego next weekend and uh I got two tickets if you wanna come with me?” I ask, not mentioning the part where I bought the second ticket specifically for him.

Calum nods while he finishes chewing the chicken in his mouth. “Yeah, I heard about that. Ashton and Michael said they were going,” he informs me and I frown a bit, hoping I could get some alone time with him.

“O-Oh. Are you going with them? I-I can find someone else it's no big deal, Calum,” I wave my hand to try to make it seem it's okay. His large hand lands on mine, his thumb smoothing over the back of my hand.

“I'm not going with them. There happens to be this lovely, beautiful girl I'm seeing who asked me first,” he grins and my heart flutters as a big smile came to my lips.

My fork toys with the chicken on my plate, not being able to get rid of the smile on my lips. “Uhm,” I start, feeling a bit nervous while trying to sound confident, “ca-can it be a date?”

“Did you just ask me on a date?” He asks, getting up from his chair. My eyes widen a bit as I wonder what he's doing. Calum steps towards me, leaning down slightly before pressing the back of his hand to my forehead. “What are you? Sick?”

I scoff, playfully glaring at him as he chuckles and removes his hand from my face. “No! We just haven't been out alone together in over a month,” I mention and Calum nods, grabbing my hand before leading me into the living room.

He sits down on the couch, pulling me on top of him. I can feel my cheeks warm as I straddle his waist, my hands resting on his shoulders. “I'm sorry,” he apologizes and I shake my head.

“No, it's okay. I understand that you're busy. It's okay,” I reassure while combing my fingers through his hair. Calum brought his hand to my face, pushing some hair behind my ear before pulling my head down to press our lips together.

My heart thumps rapidly in my chest as I kiss him back, his hands moving to rest on my waist. “I promise to take you out more often. You deserve so much.”

Calum and I have been at the festival for almost two hours now. Dua Lipa just got off stage and there was a fifteen-minute intermission before Imagine Dragons come on.

My back rests against Calum’s chest as his hands are entwined with mine. He moves his face to the crook of my neck, pressing small kisses to the warm skin.

Today has been amazing. The two of us are enjoying the day to ourselves, even though we love to hang out with the guys.

“You thirsty, babe?” He suddenly asks and I tilt my head up, giving him a small smile.

“I could go for a margarita, Cal,” I slip out. Calum’s lips part, his brown eyes widening. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, turning around to face him as I was about to ask what was wrong when I realized what I called him. “I-I’m sorry, Calu-”

He cuts me off by holding his hand up. I instantly close my mouth, swallowing the lump in my throat as I take a couple steps back. Is he mad? Goddamnit, Y/N. Tears well up in my eyes as my lips move, trying to form some sort of sentence.

“Say that again,” he whispers, reaching out to grab my hand.

My breath hitches in my throat as he pulls me close to his body. “W-What?”

“Call me Cal again,” Calum mutters, his eyes looking down at me as goosebumps spread on my arms.

“C-Cal,” I say slowly, looking into his beautiful brown eyes the entire time.

He brings one of his bottom lips between his teeth, his fingers dipping under my shirt and rubbing my skin. “That sounds so good coming from your lips,” Calum confesses and a ragged breath leaves my lips.

“You're… you're okay with me calling you Cal?” I ask and his bushy eyebrows furrow together in confusion.

“Of course. You're my girlfriend. Why wouldn't I be?” He counters and I shrug my shoulders a bit, fiddling with my fingers.

“It's just… I always thought nicknames were personal and I don't usually use people's nicknames if I'm not close to them. I-I know it sounds stupid because we're together but I don't know. It's something I've always done,” I explain, stuttering quite a bit.

Calum brings his hand to my face, resting under my chin as he lifts it. “That's so adorable. You can call me Cal. I honestly love the way it sounds coming from you,” he chuckles, his fingers gliding up my jaw.

I smile softly, my hand resting on his forearm. “What did I do to deserve you, Cal?” I ask him and he just shakes his head, dipping down to press a short kiss to my lips.

“I should be the one asking you that, sweetheart.”

Taglist: @gotta-try-something-new @twilightparker @ashs-cheergirl @dashlilymark @kinglyhood @lukeskisses @thatcheekychic @maddz-world @therainydays4 @h0tsos @morningfears @thebookamongmen @crownedbyluke @shower-me-with-roses

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pragmaticoptomism-blog · 5 years

Text

You ever watch a really good movie and when it’s over and the silence swallows the room, you can feel everyone slowly adjusting to reality again?

You hear popcorn start to shake and drinks rattling around as one by one, the audience leaves the theater.

Except you look up and you’re the only one in the theater?

I feel so many emotions all at once and they even completely negate each other, sometimes.

I wanted to make a space for myself to vent because I think it’s taking a toll on my friendships and that’s the last thing I want to do. I sound like a broken record, probably. I also feel like I don’t really know who I am or what people’s intensions are towards me. I feel like nothing is real, lately. I feel like it’s easy to accept this when you have someone- a lover, because everyone else is at arms length in some way because no one is closer to you than the person you love. But when that person doesn’t exist anymore, it’s easy to see things either for what they really are or to take things too seriously/personally. I haven’t figured out the answer to that yet.

But, I wanted to make an honest space for myself. I feel like the past 2 years of my life have been completely unraveling everything I knew, or didn’t know would be a better description. I tried to make a new account, and couldn’t because my most recent email was already used. I don’t even remember making this account, but after reading the 5 posts that were on here- I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, or just sit here and shake my head back in forth in silence staring at my tv with that 70′s show on unable to even have a next thought.

I feel like this post should be a summary to fill in the gap.

One day I was at school, having a hotel party with my classmates. I wanted to sleep early and Bernie said he did too. We went to bed. I woke up to him a little close behind me, but it was nice and it was familiar, in the way that at home was the first man I’ve ever loved for so long and always slept next to like that. We were having problems, I felt like he didn’t love me anymore for my present self- just the old past memories we had. And in the moment, being with this man that only knew me as present me and sleeping next to me- it was almost nice. I clicked my phone alarm off to sleep for a few more minutes, and I felt Bernie move closer to me. He kissed the back of my neck. My eyes could not have opened wider, I clicked my phone to look at the time because I felt frozen emotionally, mentally, physically, really- in every way. My heart was pounding out of my chest!! What the fuck??? And also why the fuck did I not punch him right in his face? I got up and went to the bathroom. I went through my normal routine, washed my face- brushed my teeth. Christina came in the bathroom. I started doing my makeup and kept looking over at her every few seconds to stare at her face while she brushed her teeth. Finally I said Christina listen and I turned on the faucet as loud as it could as we usually did to drown out our voices so the guys couldn’t hear us.

I told her what happened and her face froze with disbelief? surprise? and then she laughed so hard, mostly in disbelief. She made kissy noises at me after that to make fun of it. & We laughed about it. But that really was the start of a fucking insane roller coster of MENTAL FUCKARY THAT IS CURRENTLY RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS FOR THE PAST ???? IDK WHAT EVEN HAS IT BEEN? 2 YEARS? IS THAT REAL?

I should of told Tom. I should of told Bernie that was unacceptable. I should of told Christina it wasn’t funny. I should of done a lot of things. For the next 2-3 weeks, he was just more flirty around me. I ignored it, but I didn’t confront it. I felt overwhelming insane crazy guilt for his actions for about a month because of Tom. Tom & I’s relationship was coming to an end and I didn’t want to tell Tom about any of this because then it would have seemed like, to Tom, that Bernie or another person or whatever was the reason for it’s end. When in reality and to this day, it was never about that. He’s not stupid and he probably knew things that I don’t even know now that he knows from then. But, we broke up. It went to a place in my mind and my heart where I felt completely numb. It was literally locked away so deep into my mind that even still now, it feels like when I try to access that part of my memory- that there’s someone on the other end physically tugging it back until I get distracted by something else and stop thinking about it. After Tom & I broke up, Bernie & I started meeting after school on Sundays one on one in the car to talk, sometimes go to the mall. I remember once we kissed and it was a complete lust-ful horny kiss coming from him and this should of been my first sign but at the time- I wanted a quick rebound hook up and this was just easy. I didn’t want to do anything sexual, so I didn’t. He would just sit there and bitch that he has blue balls, “come onnnn” he would say!! What the fuck is wrong with me?

I remember the first time I agreed to come over his house. He said he would take me apple picking. Way after that, I asked him once about what went through his mind when I said okay I’ll come over. He said that he re-read it two or three times in disbelief and quickly cleaned up his room and was nervous and excited. I drove myself 1.5 hours to Jersey City NJ, a new place I’ve never been before. The neighborhood looked kinda run down. I pulled up and parallel parked. I texted him, I’m here! & He came downstairs and met me at my car to walk me inside. I walked into the house and walked up the creeky stairs, he turned on the light that would flicker on for a few seconds before actually being on. I walked in the room, and went to put my bag down on the ground and he took me and threw me on the bed. He started kissing me and I mumbled through the kiss woahhh already?! and I’m glad that I don’t remember what his response was. We had sex and it wasn’t really good. It was fun? I guess? As much fun as you could have when your emotionally crippled in reality but denying legit every aspect of that? Eventually he came and he got one of his shirts out of the laundry bin so I could clean myself off. I put my clothes back on and I don’t even remember the rest of the night at all. That night was Thursday. The next day we went and got breakfast, hung out. <- repeat till Saturday morning. I was awake basically all night and I told him I needed to leave Sat morning. He said okay and walked me to the car. I wanted to go home but as I started to drive, I just started to cry. After about 10 minutes, I was sobbing and couldn’t see the road. I pulled over into this industrial type of street and couldn’t stop crying. I felt broken inside. I called Bernie and apologized but explained the situation. He said to come back and I did. He told me to move to the passenger seat and he got into the drivers seat and my sobbing turned to regular crying. I told him I was crying because I was picturing going home and dealing with Tom not being there, and that I was scared to finally be alone and face that. He told me he would bring me where he likes to go when he’s upset, to get Ramen. He drove me to this place called Mitsua marketplace in Edgewater NJ. We sat and ate ramen and he said a bunch of shit that made me feel better. I stayed over another night. The next morning, he was getting dressed and was going apple picking with his friends. I wasn’t invited. I got dressed and finally drove back home to Long Island and we never went apple picking together.

Again, what the fuck is wrong with me?

The next month was spent getting really close to each other really quickly, but never getting that type of intimate closeness/security. I felt like he was hiding something, or maybe even everything from me- all the time. I felt like when I would leave, he would go back to a completely different life than what he lived while I was there. Yet, I had nothing- no physical proof- to feel this way. I made sure to never say anything out loud that would make it seem like I wanted a relationship. One weekend, I told him I got asked out on a date. (By a guy named Liam) and he looked and sounded like he could not care less. He said something like, if that’s what you want to do- do it! I said okay, I’m going to go on the date, I just felt like you should know. (at this point in time, I was trying to keep emotional distance- obv failing a bit, and also unsure of what his intensions were). I told Liam yea and we were suppose to go out eventually, but shit kept coming up. The next time I was at Bernie’s for the weekend was New Years Weekend of 2018. He took me to lunch with his mother and he took me to his friends house for a NYE party. I was so fucking confused, but I felt stupid for feeling confused. In my head, I was thinking idk this is probably normal- we’re just friends with benefits he said? but why am i here with his mom and best friends? whats going on? maybe i do want this?

At his friends house, I had a lot of fun with his friends Tony, Chris, Julia, and Jen. Julia and I split a bottle of wine and Jen took a bunch of pictures- always being warm and welcoming to me as apparently the new member of this group. I remember him taking a pic of us together on the couch on snapchat and then deleting it. I had a few drinks, and so I asked him why he didn’t send it anywhere. He said where would I send it to. I said why not to our school snap? He ignored that. Now in my head I felt so confused and stupid, ashamed a little even or embarrassed because obviously if he doesn't want to send a snap of us together to our school snapchat group- then we aren’t anything more than friends with benefits, as I sit next to him wrapped in his arm on his friends couch on my 2/3rd night spent with him????? Again, what the fuck is wrong with me!!!!!

I have no memory on specifics of how we eventually were a couple outwardly. I remember hiding it in school, taking separate cars for a while, and then eventually- we didn’t hide it. I spend so much time slowly drifting farther and farther away from all my friends in the class. Bernie didn’t want to eat with them because his skin was bad, the sun would bother him, the bugs were outside, it was too warm out, too cold out, new medicine, new lotion, didn't shower yet, showered already. Whatever the fuck reason. So I would feel bad, and go eat with him away from everyone else. We wouldn't even have fun. He would be mad at me for something and we would silently watch Netflix eating lunch. Once he flipped the fuck out because his sandwich was made with cheese and he threw it against the wall in the classroom downstairs (no one else was there yet). & I would feel like all this behavior was my fault. I would write notes in my phone reminding me to “be easy on him, be his peace, he works hard”. I’d be so mad at myself for asking “who’s that” when I saw a girls name on his snap friends or texts that I didn’t recognize the name, and he would get so fucking pissed. “A friend” Example of my note from my phone:

“It makes you upset because you’re scared to loose him to anything. But the reality is you won’t. It’s just 1% of the time. It’s temporary- in the future, you’ll prob always be around him. Eventually you’ll live together. It’s something that makes him happy, look past the worrying. It’s possible new friends you can have too, who have their own lives, too. He gives you no reason to distrust. He loves you. You’re better than those girls (ha!!!). So just wait it out, reset, & repeat. Be happy, live YOUR life, stop thinking about what he might be doing when he hangs out with those girls and be happy you’ll get to see him again.”

Again, what the fuckkkkkkkk was or is wrong with me?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK!!!

So Capstone 1 rolls around and we both fail it. 3 people in the class failed and we (both top of our class) failed it. (wow wonder fuckin why) I studied my ass off to re-take this exam and was up near school most of the time. I stayed by my classmates houses, Sammie & Anisha. Bernie had family over visiting and he was driving to DC with them and was busy, so during this time he was mostly MIA and I wasn’t allowed to stay there. He met up with us one day to study in this one room on the floor at school. I remember that feeling hitting me- somethings different, hes going to break up with you. He complimented that my hair looked soft. I asked him if he wanted to go get food before he had to leave, he said no he really had to go- and left. My panic set in like fucking crazy and I just tried to shove it down as far as I could so that I could concentrate on retaking my capstone exam. When I got to his house- I stayed over his house the night before capstone since he offered, he showed me that he had made me my own drawer. He put some things I accidently left there in it. He said now I can have my own space there to feel comfortable. That made me so happy, but inside I was so confused and axious because he was so different I could sense it but couldnt put it into words why. So I would try to explain to him, and he would deny it- everythings fine etc you have no examples what are you even saying. I laid there sobbing and got up and collected my things to go anywhere else- maybe Christinas maybe Anishas, all I knew was I needed to get the fuck away and concentrate to pass my retake exam the next day. He looked over and saw me doing that and finally gave me physical touch and grabbed me, pulled me close, and said come on you need sleep and played with my hair and that was one of the very few times of sincere feelings of connecting on a deeper level of intimacy that I can remember from my whole relationship with Bernie. We woke up next morning and took our test and I remember saying good luck to him and whatnot and he treated it extremely weird and formal . and I assumed it was because it was a serious situation- this retake. We both passed. I was so relieved. I got in his car (he drove me there) and we discussed our retakes. I asked him what he wanted to do with the rest of the day and if I could buy him a celebratory drink. He said uhhhh idk. I was like oh are you busy? He was like yea sorry. & I tried so hard to accept that and leave it. After about 20 min of silence, I asked... what are you busy with? And he said something like idk yet and I was like why dont you want to hangout with me? and he said welp I guess this is ganna be talked about then since you wont just let it be. & He stone cold, facing forward the whole time, zero eye contact at all, broke up with me. “This just isn’t what I want anymore. I just don’t love you anymore. It’s nothing you did or didn’t do, I just don’t love you.” I asked him 500 million thousand questions, considering it was still about a half hour drive to his house, where my car and belongings were. I asked him since when? But you never told me you were unhappy? Can you just tell me specifics so I can work on myself? He didn’t provide answers. He just said he didn’t love me anymore. We got to his house and I put my backpack in my trunk. I went upstairs and collected my things, including everything from the drawer he just gave me that same weekend. He stood there and (finally) switched from cold to looked upset as he watched me get my shit. I walked downstairs and he walked behind me. I put all my things in my car, and I grabbed this stuffed animal from my backseat that he gave me and handed it back to him as I choked on my own tears and snot. He looked shocked that I gave it to him. He said “But i got this for you!” and i said why would you think I would want to keep this? He said if you’re sure alright and looked really upset. I shut the door to my car and he walked back inside. I drove to Staten Island and sobbed to Mike and eventually Christina when she was done with work.

We had about a month’s break until school again. I felt so so so so so so so down. I could not stop crying. My head was beating from crying. I couldn’t eat. I lost so much weight because I legit had 0 appetite. I couldn’t sleep. I laid in my bed desperately trying to sleep, would fall asleep for just enough time to have a dream about him and wake up sobbing. I would re-read old messages over and over to convince myself that it happened, he was real, I wasn’t crazy. I felt like the relationship was made up in my mind and that I was the only one who endured it. At work one day I asked for closure and I sat in the car after my shift and read to him my note I typed out asking what I did or what happened. He provided no answers yet again and said I just dont love you. I felt like a fuckin zombie. I remember asking him one day if we could still snowboard or still play overwatch together and him saying he would think about it. Eventually he happened to invite me into a game on overwatch the same night Liam asked me to get Ralphs ices. I played some games with him then said I had to go and logged off to get Ralphs. Soon, we had school. We were still in the same hotel room. We tried to act normal, and would talk here or there. OR he would talk, I would ignore. He made comments to me like “An amazing girl got me these” and it was boxers I had bought him. He bought my favorite wine one night to the hotel and brought it to where it was in my site and poured a glass then asked if I wanted some. I said no. We went and got taco bell with classmates for lunch and he sent me a text asking if I wanted to be friends with benefits. I said no I couldnt emotionally handle that. He said okay and that he understood that. At some other point, we walked me christina & him to get chinese food. Christina went inside to go get it and while she was inside, bernie kicked the wall a little bit softly and turned and looked at me and was like so I wanted to tell you something. And said he wanted to get back together and that he fucked up. I dont even know what i responded, maybe I said something like are you kidding. As all of that was happening, him making these comments and shit- I was just so relieved to know that it was real. That he was real and those weeks I spent feeling fucking crazy- I wasn’t crazy. I remember one night we slept in the same bed and I just laid there and cried and said I didnt want him to touch me or to touch him, even though inside it was the only thing I wanted. He wanted to kiss me and low key kept trying to, brought his face closer to mine and opened his mouth in that slight way. Eventually I think I did kiss him- and it made me sob. I knew he wanted to fuck & it made me cry more to think about it. & I told him it would take a really long time for me to ever adjust or be okay with that in any way and he just kept saying I know.

We would talk on the phone for hours at a time when I was driving home from school or staten island or work or whatever- and i called him out on everything. I told him hes so fucked up and needs to address shit that his dad left him and he never accepted it and all this bullshit. He was silent most of the time, and listened. He told me I was “100% right” and that he could never take back damage that was done. He asked me eventually to go meet with him and his friends in the city, not to be together- just to hang out. I stupidly said yes.

That was the weekend we “reconnected”, I guess. Being with his friends again and we went on a hike together and just being back into the swing of it, was so comfortable and better than the fucking misery I was in at home for weeks not eating or sleeping. It was so nice to sleep and eat and live and laugh.

We were back together! Things were great! The same shit went on in the background, same problems as before. He would talk to girls behind my back- I would either ignore it because I didn’t want to fight, or I would mention it and we would fight. I would find things out and have to wait to confront him until in person so he would accept blame and apologize- otherwise, when I was away at home and he was home- he would flip it onto me.

I remember driving to go snowboarding, he fell and got hurt so we went home early. I bought him some water and snacks and helped him into the car- took his boots off so he didn’t have to bend down. He fell asleep and I wanted to stay awake while driving and stopped at a rest stop. He woke up and wanted food. We got food and while we were sitting inside, this guy was STARING at me making me feel really uncomfortable so I asked if we could eat in the car. Bernie immediately was super grumpy and I was just like oh fuck here we go.. we walked to the car and I felt so guilty that he was angry about going to the car. I said I was sorry and asked if he wanted to go back in and he turned around and SCREAMMMMMED at me in this fucking parking lot. he threw his food and tears were rolling down his face out of anger. I wanted to die. I told him that I was sorry I didnt have two separate cars so that I could leave, and he said oh so you just want to leave when I’m at my worst? And that genuinely made me feel like a terrible person- I felt like I was in the wrong. (Ill say it again- what the fuck was wrong with me?) We drove home and once we got home this time, I was so used to this shit that I knew better than to try to talk about it or resolve any issue. I just let him sleep and I sat up on the couch, and put on greys anatomy to distract myself from what the fuck just happened and what was beginning to become normal to me. (!!!!!!!)

I have FLASHBACKSSSSS to times spent with this person that I can’t even fill in gaps for. Him slapping me in the face!!!! him screaming at me in his house waking his mom and sister up which I felt embarrassed about even though it was HIM!!!!! I can’t believe anyone- nevermind my own fucking self- ever experienced any of this. He just knew what to say to twist my mind into thinking it was my fault. I would get up collect my things to leave when he would yell and he would say if I cant handle him at his worst I cant have him at all, or say okay Im leaving just like everyone always leaves him. & Then I would feel horrible. How could I leave someone saying that? (I should of)

Yet still, why does my mind wander to the Filipino restaurant where the staff knew me as “his partner” because I would leave while he was sleeping and get his favorites. I legit learned another fuckin language for this MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!! Who did not deserve it for one single second! Master manipulator! I cant believe the memories that I am typing here and I cant believe it was my life.

This relationship was fucking horrible and I do not understand why or how or EVEN WHO I WAS during this time. I really wanted to write this because it is so easy to loose yourself in periods of vulnerability. I really do feel like everything happens for a reason. However, there’s someone that just always comes to my mind that has sort of always been in the background since I met him at school and I feel like there was just so much time wasted in every capacity on Bernie that it may have fucked it all up for this other person/opportunity. But if it did, it must have happened for a reason. I needed to find myself in this drastic way and I know I’m better for it. I feel returned to my body after 2 years of being lost.

Anyway, one night I went out to eat with Emily and he was pissed the fuck offfffff about it, although he would never admit that was the reason. I felt guilty that he was upset- I sent him a pic of the menu and said I would bring him there next time he came to LI. The next day, after a 10 hour shift of clinical- I get a CALL from him. All day, I kinda knew it. I remember thinking to myself “why would he break up with you? theres no reason for that- get it out of your mind”. He said bullshit intro- hey how was your day (not genuinely), I said fine, whats up and he said “well...” and I immediately laughed. I said “are you breaking up with me right now” and he said well I was thinking a lot last night and I think we need to stop seeing each other. And I laughed and said okay just to clarify- you thought about it for literally one night? 12 hours? he said yes. I said okay, and before that- did you have any thought in your mind about wanting to break up? he said no but jackie stop. I said okay, when you collect my things- make sure you get everything. & we hung up. Prob a 5 minute phone call. He had such a cold angry tone that sounded exactly like the first time- he blamed me and made me feel like I betrayed him in some way that he was breaking up with me for.

This time, I could sleep and eat. Although I was upset, it was 500 million times easier than the first time. In fact, it was a RELIEF to not have the responsibility anymore to sit up wondering who he’s with or what he’s lying about.

It was much easier to cope with (since I was expecting) him to crawl his way (or try to) back into my life after this time- months of being MIA. He tried so much shit and I am very very relieved to know that I’m back in my right fucking mind.

I accept what happened, and the hardest part is stopping blaming myself. I was in a vulnerable spot, and someone manipulative swooped in. As much as I might want to forget, or take it back- I can’t. So I will remember it, learn, and be better for it.

This past week, after I got a “are you awake” text, 2 missed calls, and a voicemail asking to get coffee at 6AM followed by him liking old DM messages on instagram- I went off. & It felt so fucking gooooooooooood. Fuck Y O U R S E L FFFFFFFFFFFF.

#fuckyou

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artificialqueens · 6 years

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Hold On To Me Chapter 12 {biadore} - imafuckinglibra

Idk how to intro this so let’s all just do a collective miss vaaAAANJjiee. Okay now, Chapter 12. Yay. Bc I like numbers ending in 0 or 5 I’m very tempted to end this fic on 15 but we’ll see (probably not wops) I had a beta this time which was cool thanks for the help babe. And other than that we have some hurt, some fluff and some smut so enjoy bitches. K bye.

“When’s the last time you saw him? Or was that it?” Detox peeked out from behind her mirror with one eye already lined, too intrigued by the story of how Danny ran out of Roy’s classroom to finish the other.

“No.” Roy desperately, with his head back, downed the last of his mocktail. He was over this no alcohol rule his doctor put on him. In the words of the nosey Detox - he’s had it. Officially. “Yesterday I saw him and some…douchebag, making out.”

“Ooh…ouch.” The other queens getting ready with Detox’s reaction echoed throughout the room.

“Yeah.” He somberly nodded dropping his gaze to his now empty glass.

After Danny ran out he tried going after him to explain but the teen was quicker than expected. His inhumanly long legs carrying him much faster than the injured Roy could ever keep up with.

He tried calling endlessly afterwards getting the number from Shane, he even tried from Shane’s phone a few times eventually even calling his mother when Danny hadn’t shown up to school two days in a row following the incident.

The only other option he considered was actually going to his home to confront him and declare his love and more importantly explain that everything was some horribly fucked up misunderstanding.

That was until Danny finally showed up that Thursday with Dan, or as he had decided on calling him, Milk, with his arm around him.

Just the sight of someone else clinging onto the boy he loved so much broke his already cold heart into a million unmendable pieces. But finding them at the end of the day disgustingly lip locked in the hallway pressed up against Danny’s locker really pushed him over the edge.

After that he was unconsolable. He threw things in his house, breaking furniture, paintings, anything within reach before he collapsed onto his couch a complete and utter mess.

He had never felt so helplessly alone, so lost in despair and heartbreak that nothing seemed worth it anymore.

He had started debating if the main character Alfred Jones from the book his juniors were assigned, Doctor Fischer of Geneva or The Bomb Party, had the right idea after losing his wife.

He had lost his own Anna-Luise and that glass of whiskey laced with prescription pain medication to take away all the agony had started looking more and more appealing by the passing hour.

Lucky for him the friends he had previously hated for putting him in this predicament was still there by his side, Shane and Raja, helping him pick up the pieces. What pieces they could that is.

Alas the show must go on…

He had returned to school the next morning avoiding any interactions or even having to look at Danny or his new apparent boyfriend.

Acting completely on auto pilot, an emotionless robot as he went about his day. Sure it’s been a while since he’s dated but he never remembered feeling this way, this shattered.

He did his duties, assigned homework, ate his lunch alone in the same excruciating silence he had grown so accustomed to and when faced with Danny in day to day life he shut down further. Blanking out completely to avoid facing the inevitable heart break creeping in again.

He even somewhere in his robotic haze accepted his friends’ invitation to their show. He didn’t exactly feel in the mood for drag, both his injuries and his heart were still too sore to put on a gown and go be productive which is how he ended up here, watching his friends getting ready while he read a book.

“Wait was the guy he was face sucking with like really tall and pale? And gorgeous?” Detox, now with both eyes winged, popped out again.

“Why? One of your discarded trash?” He snarled in her direction.

“Moewr, but no. Willam mentioned it’s his late birthday party tonight and that they had to organize a date for him.” She started digging through her phone that was laying on the table next to the endless amount of powder foundations. “This guy.”

Roy got up to take hold of the phone. Examining the photo lit up on the screen of the one and only, big and milky in an ice skating outfit. “That’s the one.”

The one asshole who’s teeth he wanted to kick in so hard he’d have to stick a brush up his ass to clean them.

He was a pretentious douche who acted above everything and anyone just because mommy and daddy were some kind of lawyers who raised a spoilt brat.

“So then it’s like an arranged thing? It’s not a real thing.” Courtney tried reassuring bringing him a glass of what he hoped was wine and not just grape juice. “One glass can’t hurt right?”

“Thank you Jesus.” He took the much needed alcohol and threw his head back after taking a big swig savoring the taste and feel of it burning slightly down his throat.

“He wouldn’t have been that mad if he didn’t care or was planning on going to find a new man, right?” Raja chimed in. She had a point.

“He’s a teenager, Raj, their brains wor…” His rebuddle got interrupted by a loud ringing coming from Courtney’s bosom.

“That’s something you don’t see every day…” Detox got up pointing to Courtney. “Behold the great vibrating slut. Latest in technology.”

“Shut up.” Roy growled in the very obviously drunk Detox’s direction keeping his focus on Courtney.

“It’s Danny.” Courtney went pale even through the multiple layers of make up when she pulled the ringing device out and looked at the screen.

“Why would he?” Roy tried grabbing the phone from her hand but she was quicker than him and answered it.

All the other queens immediately came running to circle them, the room dead silent as everyone eagerly tried to listen in on their conversation.

“Daniela?” Courtney carefully spoke.

“Is he there!?” Her phone didn’t even need to be on speaker to hear Danny’s yelling over some incredibly loud music and cheering.

“Who? Roy? Yeah, right here.”

“Put him on!” He nearly screamed.

Hesitantly handing the phone to Roy they could hear some very loud screeching coming from the other end.

“Danny?” Roy spoke, his heart pounding out of his chest getting ready for an earful and a half.

“Roy? Roy! Where are you?”

“At the club? Listen I…what’s wrong? Why are calling? Are you okay?” Recognizing the panic in his voice made his already racing heart speed up tenfold.

Shit this was not good. Flashbacks of the last time Danny called like this replaying on a never ending loop in his mind.

“No…” The soft sob could barely be heard. “I’ll wait at the same 7-11 as last time just please come get me I…I don’t know who else, who else to call. Hurry please.”

Shit!

In a moment of sheer panic Roy dropped his wine, not even bothering to acknowledge it as he grabbed his keys and rushed to his car before anyone could stop him.

He didn’t need any more motivation. Danny needed him.

He shouldn’t have listened to Chris.

‘Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!’ Danny cursed his friend and his ‘ingenious’ plan from the previous day, replaying the conversation in his mind while he waited for Roy.

Maybe he shouldn’t have called him but he was desperate and it was too late to turn back now.

It’s a long walk, and the music is loud. She sees an old friend, as she walks through the crowd. Puts on her best smile, but underneath it she’s a broken girl…

The deep voice of Justin Warfield filled the confined space he was in. After running out of the classroom halfway through the day he made a beeline straight home.

He’s never been a runner, he hates running, he hates exercise in general let’s face it - but that day he ran. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him away from anything Roy Haylock.

But that was nearly 3 days ago.

He’ll never get you, he will never understand. He’ll never get you, you can find a better man.

The singer repeated as the pace and volume of both his singing and the music picked up every time he sang those two sentences, repeating them in a seemingly never ending loop.

“You know you can’t run away from him forever, babe.” Chris tried comforting his friend over the phone attached to the dash as Danny turned down the music.

The minute Danny laid eyes on his best friend on the screen over facetime all the emotions he had been holding back pushed their way through the wall he built.

It was good though, it was what he needed. He needed to get it all out before he pulled into the parking lot of his school and had to face Roy. No.

Mr Haylock.

From now on their relationship was strictly teacher/student. Nothing else.

He had decided that while taking a bath day 2 of his wallowing. It was too painful to return to school where he’d have to face his former love especially in the same place that he had found his love with the man he hated most in the world.

Raja Gemini. Fuck his real name, the less he knew of this queen the better.

He couldn’t continue his depression fueled mini vacation for too long though. His mom had caught on to his fake illness being well, fake, and forced him back to school after apparently one of his teachers called.

She even sweetend the deal by letting him use her car while she was away with Jerry for the weekend to a wedding for one of Jerry’s cousins or something. He honestly wasn’t paying attention.

Like an aimless zombie wandering through the house anything someone told him went in one ear and straight out the other thanks to his liquified brain.

He didn’t want to think, about anything. About school, about music, about weddings - everything led back to Roy. And Roy was the one topic too excruciatingly painful to ever think of.

“I can actually.” Danny retorted in a very ‘matter of fact’ tone pulling up to a stop sign.

“You know you’re just being a total cliched Libra and avoiding conflict right? But you’ll need to suck it up and just do it sooner or later.” Dammit why did Chris have to be right.

“He’s a Cancer.” Danny added softly hoping if he could change the topic to astrology Chris would let it go. Which he didn’t.

“So he’s feeling even more shitty than you then!”

“Maybe.” He was right. Again. “I’m hanging up on you.”

“Why? Because I’m totally right?” Chris shook his head with his lips pursed to the side in Danny’s usual chola manner.

“Totally.” He scoffed.

“What about a little bit of revenge?” Chris offered taking a big sip from the long skinny straw of his Starbucks.

Spoken like a true Sagittarius, if he was Chris he’d had already forgotten about Roy and moved on. Maybe he should think like a Sagittarius once in a while though? So what? Roy obviously didn’t care about him?

“Go on?”

“Yay.” Chris eagerly clapped his hands like an excited school girl. “Okay so you’re going with that Dan guy tomorrow night right?”

‘Ugh gross.’ He internally rolled his eyes.

“Yeah?”

“First of all, he got a nice ass?” Chris’ smile grew and he wiggled his eyebrows making Danny laugh for the first time in days.

“You’re such an ass whore! Oh my god!” He squealed before throwing a dirty look at someone in a red convertible cutting past him.

“Am not! Danny!” Chris’s smile fell into a very offended look as he drew Danny’s name out in a long whine. “I’m emotionally charged to their eyes. You know that I’m not like that.”

“She’s emotionally charged to that ass.”

“Whatever. Babe…it’s fucking obvious though. Maybe like flirt a little with Dan, make it look all cute with him and totally get back at Professor ‘two birds one dick’.”

He couldn’t, no way. He didn’t even like Dan he just exuded cockiness that was a total turnoff for anyone with eyes. No way.

And Roy…he couldn’t hurt Roy. Oh god, here comes that all too familiar heavy chest feeling. The pulling in his heart yearning for Roy causing his eyes to water up again.

He missed him. Life without him just felt so empty, so worthless.

He shook his dangerous downward spiral off and hung up on his friend blowing him a kiss first as pulled into a parking spot next to Aaron.

‘Fuck my life, fuck it hard.’ He sighed to himself spotting an all to familiar milky brunette standing with the others.

“You are so beautiful I could die, especially when you’re singing like ugh, your voice is just to die for.” Dan rambled on, trapping Danny with his arms on either side of his shoulders against his locker.

“Uh…thanks, man.” He nervously smiled. His mother raised him better, if you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all.

Oh but he really, really wanted to say something.

“Yeah like it just speaks to me you know.” Dan leaned his head down closer towards him, clearly not picking up on the obvious hint that he did not want to kiss him as he was backing up further into the painted metal locker.

“Like really, really speaks to me.” He breathed his disgusting warm breath against his lips sending icky chills down Danny’s spine right before their lips made contact.

‘Roy. Roy. Roy…’ The name kept repeating in his mind hoping if he chanted it enough he’d magically summon his knight in shining slacks.

Sure enough he did.

‘Oh no.’ His plan backfired when he suddenly saw how this would look from Roy’s perspective.

He had found Roy hugging his friend I mean that’s nothing compared to this right? One thing was for shit sure. Roy catching him pressed up against a locker with his hands tightly gripping each side of Dan’s jacket to try and push him off as Dan pressed his thigh between his legs definitely was not going to look good.

‘Roy.’ He tried silently calling him back when all the older man did was turn in another direction with an expressionless face. He could feel the tears bubbling up again from seeing the man he loved so hollow. ‘Roy, please.’

The drive there was such an unsure haze Roy was amazed he actually pulled into the right 7-11 parking lot or into a 7-11 at all. He must’ve broken at least 50 laws getting there but fuck it, he made it.

He saw Danny pacing with his arms crossed furiously clutching each side of the opposite bicep. Only taking a break from his pacing to take a long drag from his half burnt out cigarette.

“Daniel!” He jumped out of his car running towards him. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

Before he got too close Danny spotted him, turning in his direction as what seemed like a well of never ending tears came flooding out. “Fuck you!”

“Yeah,” He snorted nodding. “You said that already what else is new?” Roy’s sorrow and fear was slowly turning into rage.

Why was he being this douche? This wasn’t like him at all, this wasn’t the Danny he knew or fell in love with. He wasn’t ever hostile, he was sweet and caring and sure he was feisty but at least within reason.

“Is that really why you called me here? To tell me to go fuck myself? Really queen?”

“No! It wasn’t.” Danny threw his cigarette away and stomped towards Roy, catching him off guard by grabbing hold of each side of his beautifully dimpled cheeks with his ice cold lanky fingers. His glossy hazel eyes staring directly into his soul. “I fucking hate you, I hate you Roy.”

“Then why call me.” Roy’s voice cracked, he was trying to put on the most put together facade all week but he couldn’t. He was a mess.

Even more now knowing that Danny, who had clearly moved on, was holding him like this for presumably the last time. Just this skin on skin contact he so longed for threw the armor he had built up right out the window.

“Because I was scared and alone and fucked up and the only person I wanted to be with was you…” Danny let go of him and turned, walking away from him to wipe his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

“Well you have a fucking hell of a way of showing it. It’s been a week and you won’t even answer my calls? What the fuck?”

What was this? Heartbreak? Anger? Loss? Everything crashing down on him all at once in such a muddled mess he couldn’t even recognize what he was feeling.

“Like you really even cared.”

Roy shook his head and turned around to head back to his car. Fuck this. Halfway to his escape he stopped dead in his tracks, he needed to know one last thing.

“Why didn’t you call…It. That thing you were sucking face with.” There it was. The last nudge that pushed him straight into blind rage.

He said it was such a strained voice that it completely rattled Danny’s entire world.

Clearly having struck a nerve Roy watched Danny’s pale expression turn bright red. “Oh! Oh! You’re one to fucking talk!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Open relationship remember. You know,” Danny pulled another cigarette somewhere out of his military jacket’s pocket. “You always do this, ever since the hotel room even, even before that you lead me on and then, of course because I’m so fucking stupid, I fall for you! And then you just break my heart moving on without ever really giving a fuck about me, huh?”

“You are fucking stupid, Danny!” Roy shouted at the top of his lungs, hoping it would make Danny’s bullshit ramblings stop so he could finally speak.

“Fuck you!” Danny screamed loud enough that probably even the family of four trying to eat their dinner in China heard. “And fuck Raja!”

“Raja? Raja!? This is about Raja!” He probably looked like a fucking lunatic when he suddenly threw his arms in the air in defeat as he started laughing. “Danny…Raja is even dumber than you are!”

“Oh thanks I feel so loved.” Danny rolled his eyes lighting the cigarette he just pulled out. “You’re so fucking selfish you know that? No wonder you’re alone…oh wait, you’re not! You have Raja! You’ve had Raja all along!”

“You ignorant fucking brat!” Roy took a step closer furiously gesturing with his hands ready to wrap his fingers around Danny’s pulsing neck.

“Tell me I’m wrong then! Tell me I wasn’t just some young side meat you wanted to use any way that suited you to cheer up your pathetic little life.”

‘This. Fucking. Bitch.’ Roy thought being left speechless simply standing there staring at him.

If only he knew how much his words were hurting him, how much every snarl was like an jab straight through his chest.

Actually he knew exactly how painful his words were, even saying them hurt Danny. Having to resort to yelling and screaming at the man he loved when the only thing he wanted to do was be held by him. It was killing him.

Rotting him slowly to the core, destroying everything left of him every time Roy clapped back.

“You are so fucking wrong!” He gave up with a sigh, dropping his hands defeatedly to his side. ”You want to know why? Get it in the car.”

Roy walked back to his Mercedes opening the passenger side for Danny first and furiously pointing at the seat. “In, Noriega!”

‘Is he being serious? Get in his car? Fuck no.’ Danny continued his internal freak out.

Pondering if this was some kind of rouse to lure him into his car to pull a bad 80’s gangster movie inspired stint and drive him to a deserted location to murder him. Especially now after their little verbal sparring match.

Reluctantly Danny stomped to the car as if his boot clad feet had a of life of their own, mumbling something about hating his treacherous body for betraying him like this as he slumped into the elegant black car.

Roy’s hands holding the steering wheel with such a tight vice grip his tan knuckles turned white.

He should’ve known it would be Raja that was at the bottom of this mess wether he knew it or not.

He had to repeatedly remind himself of his friend’s good intentions and how he’d been there to help him otherwise he probably would’ve strangled him with as much ferocity as he was gripping his wheel.

If he had just fucking killed Raja like he had promised years ago, but no. He just had to grow a heart and give that little amazing, kind hearted weasel a chance to burrow himself a comfy little home.

“Raja! Raven!” Roy stormed in backstage, all the queens still at their tables painting their faces jumping up in unison like one fucked up Mexican wave when he threw the door open.

“Is everything okay? Where’s Danny? Is he…” Raja followed Roy’s pointing and spotted the awkward teen standing outside against the car’s door and ran towards him. “Danny! Hi! Listen I can completely explain everything, okay.”

“Why am I here?” Danny looked over to Roy with a very annoyed expression.

“Because you got into my car, despite your whole ‘I hate you’ speech. So It’s either because you want to kill him that badly or me. Which is it?”

“Neither…” Danny’s rage seemed to have dwindled and the teen was left looking down at his hands, fiddling with his nails’ chipped paint. “I didn’t, I told you I was alone and just needed you.”

Through his earlier rage blinding him Roy had completely missed all the signs. His disheveled make up that was running down his flushed cheeks, his brightly colored vomit stained pants, the bruised knuckles slowly turning blue and purple…

“It was your party.” He thought out loud. Roy’s harsh tone now gone as he hesitantly stepped closer, as if carefully approaching a wounded animal. “Danny…where’s Dan? What happened?”

“Chris didn’t show up like he was supposed to and…Dan, he’s been like really I don’t know. He’s super gross. He like stalked my YouTube page and he wanted to keep making out but never actually talk to me. So when he tried making a move earlier I punched him.” He shivered at the memory with his eyes still on his hand examining the bruising around his knuckles, flinching when he tried wiggling his little finger. “And then I called you.”

“Why me? Why if you hate me so much did you call me?” Roy was now right in front of him looking up into those beautiful, still puffy eyes.

“I don’t hate you.” He admitted with a croak before the tears from earlier resumed. “But you shouldn’t be with him. I hate you because you’re with him! Not me! It should be me!”

There it was. They say once you name something you give it power.

Now it made sense.

He had given his greatest fear the chance to escape and outed it to the world and now there was absolutely no going back. The realization that Roy was no longer his leaving him an empty shell of what he once was.

Roy stepped closer quickly grabbing he sobbing boy just as he collapsed into the same broken mess he had been just a day earlier.

Holding him tightly keeping said shattered shell together, his toned arms around him being the only comfort Danny would ever need again

“It is you. It’s only you, it’s never been anyone else but you…” Roy shushed him holding him tightly caressing his head with his fingers tangled between the messy dark brunette mop.

“But I saw…” He looked up at Raja, the incredibly tall queen still standing by the back door of the club clutching her pearls.

“But you didn’t think.” Raja intervened with an almost motherly voice.

“Raj,” Roy spoke up with the most composed tone he’s managed all night shaking his head. “Not now.”

Raja nodded with a faint smile and went back into the club, leaving the pair alone once again.

“Come on, back in the car.” Roy ordered reaching behind Danny to open the door for him.

“Alright. Let’s get you cleaned up first and then we’ll talk about this okay? Sound like a plan?” Roy clapped his hands together as if he was addressing his class.

He had brought Danny back to his apartment so they’d have a safe space to discuss everything, hopefully calmer than earlier.

At least if things did get as vocal as in the parking lot they wouldn’t have to worry about breaking anything, Roy already took care of that earlier and swept the proof under the rug.

“Yeah.” Danny nodded with a whisper. He was dead silent the whole ride home, not once even acknowledging Roy or where he was bringing him.

The older never even pushed him to open up either, instead he just held his shaking hand in his rubbing the back of it lazily with his thumb. He knew all to well that once you opened that flood gate and had to verbalize your feelings you had to relive them.

Even just thinking about the torment Danny must’ve been in to make that big of a scene nearly drove Roy down the same deep pit. He wouldn’t wish reliving that despair on anyone let alone the broken boy he loved with every fibre of his being.

“What time does your mother expect you home?” Roy looked at his watch.

“Out of town. A cousin’s wedding or something with my stepdad.”

“Alright then.” Roy nodded. He flicked on the small bathroom’s fluorescent light and all the memories of the first time they did this came flooding making his heart ache as soon as he hid. “Bath or shower?”

“Bath.” Danny cocked his head in the tub’s direction and took off his jacket as Roy turned to put the water on, being quicker than him though he stopped him by grabbing his hand. “Don’t.”

He wasn’t ready to be without Roy yet even just for a bath. He’d been without him far too long and he physically couldn’t take any more of it.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Roy smiled walking up to the young man who was drawing him closer by the hand.

When they were only an inch or two apart Danny leaned forward, cupping Roy’s ever so slightly stubbled face to pull him in for a very feeble, shakey kiss.

This was it. This was what he needed, what they both needed to finally ease all that anguish.

Slowly Roy’s hands found their way to Danny’s hips, pulling their bodies closer as the intensity of their kissing grew. Their lips parting to eagerly take in more of the other.

Danny’s hands snaked down from his face to the bottom of his tight grey shirt feeling at every inch of Roy’s flat stomach at they did, breaking their kissing for only a second as he flung it off over Roy’s head.

“I missed you…” He breathed into Roy’s mouth just as the older was repeating the same thing with his shirt.

“I missed you too, so much you don’t even know.” He quickly slid his hands into the back of Danny’s tights and into his briefs to feel down his round ass, pulling both his pants and his underwear down swiftly in the process as Danny guided them back.

His now more stable hands fidgeting between them working on unbuckling Roy’s jeans so he could finally be his again.

When Roy’s back hit the bathroom wall with a quiet thud he spun them around and reached for his medicine cabinet next to Danny’s head.

Danny, with his palm flattened against the wall, stretched his arm around taking Roy’s growing erection in his other hand becoming impatient as he jerked him off slowly through his boxers.

Roy’s hand, just as impatient as his partner’s, dug between the bottles and miscellaneous lotions while his mouth explored the back of Danny’s neck. Peppering gentle kisses along the smooth skin till he found the small half full bottle of lube.

Once he heard the pop of the plastic cap flicking open Danny clumsily hooked his fingertips into the waistband and slid Roy’s boxers down just enough to let his cock spring free. Roy wasted no time in squirting a heavy amount of thick clear lube onto himself. Meanwhile Danny reached the hand previously jerking him off up around to hold onto Roy’s neck, pulling his lips back against his skin as Roy lowered his knees to enter Danny easier.

With his hands on Danny’s somewhat curvy hips Roy gradually inserted himself into his tight young asshole. Hearing the low whimper escaping between gritted teeth from the younger pinned between him and the wall.

“Ow…ow ow.” Danny quickly bit his bottom lip to avoid the involuntary cries suddenly coming out of his mouth. He knew tensing up would make this unnecessarily more difficult than it needed to be but the ice cold lube unexpectedly against his entrance made him flinch, not helped that he had forgotten how much Roy actually stretched him.

Roy felt Danny’s body tensing up further, his asshole tightly clenching around him making entering him any further nearly impossible without hurting him. He quickly moved his hands to Danny’s chest. Holding onto his non-existent pecs feeling his heartbeat racing against his fingertips.

“Sh, I got you, baby.” He soothed Danny with another kiss on his neck till the younger relaxed, his hands joining Roy’s holding onto them as the older started his steady thrusting.

He could tell by the sincerity in his sweet nothings the older meant it - he had him and without hesitation he’d protect him as he had done so many times before.

A light bulb went off in the back of his muddled mind, illuminating the one thing that’s been so clear all along but hidden beneath layers and layers of doubt and fear.

“I love you…I love you…” Danny started softly chanting, breathing it out in time with every new thrust Roy made.

The three simplest words that he’d been yearning for finally spoken. Roy hadn’t anticipated what an earth shattering impact they’d have on him but here they were.

He knew without a shred of doubt he’d give up everything in a heartbeat for this boy, throw away everything he was just to hear those 3 words every day for the rest of his life.

Roy let go of Danny’s torso and with his hands on the wall each side of the younger he gradually pulled himself out.

Grabbing the condom that he’d forgotten from the tall box he accidentally knocked over earlier in his hunt for lube he spun Danny around.

Kissing him deeply as his hands trailed down his sides to his backside and with a firm grip on his soft cheeks he picked him up.

Not a good idea with his bruises but who cared, nothing in that moment mattered except Danny. It was all he could focus on. The love of his life he so nearly lost. Might still lose…

With Danny’s long legs wrapped around his waist as they walked down the hall to the bedroom they were already in the perfect position when Roy went to sit down on edge of the bed.

Muscle memory took over as he slipped the condom on as speedily as he could without needing to look while their lips remained locked. Hungrily searching for comfort in each other.

“I love you too…” Roy breathed out when Danny pulled back from their kissing, biting his lip again to avoid any involuntary responses slipping out this time he lowered back down onto Roy’s waiting cock.

Maintaining silent eye contact with his fingertips gently on either side of Roy’s jaw Danny started steadily rolling his hips. Each testing the other person’s declaration of love, waiting to see if either would run.

“I love you, Danny.” Roy repeated his words even fainter this time.

This was it, this was real. Roy really loved him. Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain real. Sid and Nancy real. Sacrificing himself without any hesitation real.

He loved Roy and Roy loved him. It was the only certainty between them.

With Danny’s fingers intertwined behind Roy’s neck, their kissing grew intenser, deeper as did their movements. Roy soon feeling down his back leaving a trail of goosebumps behind he reached down to hold onto his ass guiding his every steady move.

Nothing about there interactions were rushed or had the usual roughness of their previous encounters, they were smooth and intimate.

The gentle touches of their hands and lips lingering wherever they made contact, savoring this deeply personal cathartic moment.

Even when Danny picked up the pace of his hips, the slapping of their bodies and the crinkling of Roy’s pants still halfway down his thighs remained drowned out by their soft grunts and moans.

Their bodies saying everything they had hoped to say without either ever having to utter a single word.

Soon Danny’s head lifted exposing the tender flesh of his neck stained red from arousal, his lips pressed against Roy’s furrowed damp forehead. “More…please, give it to me…more.”

The hands gripping his ass moved back up and Roy’s arms snaked their way around his back, enveloping his small frame to pull them as close as physically possible.

His hips thrusting up faster to meet Danny’s now hurried riding, the moans escaping Danny’s lips growing more strained as the petite chest pressed against Roy’s rose and fell quicker.

Roy’s head nuzzled against Danny’s collarbone, biting into the delicate, tender flesh to muffle his grunting. This was definitely going to leave a mark but so be it, let it. Let the world know that he was his.

“…oh…shi…” Danny’s body starting trembling in Roy’s grip, a hot load of cum shortly after following shooting out between them onto Roy’s chest. The sticky, pale white liquid leaking down his body to the bruise around his gut.

Roy eased up on his hips’ movements to allow Danny to ride his orgasm out at his own pace but the younger never let up.

“Don’t stop…” He breathed out “…more…”

Ceasing his teeth’s gnawing into his collar Roy moved his lips up to trial kisses up his lover’s pulsing, heated neck to his jaw. The tenderness in which his lips worked a striking contrast to harshness of his black nails digging into Danny’s sides.

The grip of Danny’s skinny arms still around his neck growing tighter with every smack of their bodies as did the coil in his abdomen.

This was how Roy wanted to die, right here lost in Danny’s arms forever.

“Baby…” Roy warned and Danny picked up the pace for him, increasing the intensity in which he rode him to bring him closer to his desperately needed release.

“…give it to me, babe.” Danny encouraged.

With a final deep, almost painful groan Roy climaxed, clinging as tightly possible onto the body between his arms scared of falling apart if he did.

“Sorry.” Danny finally spoke when Roy climbed into the white porcelain bathtub sitting down behind him.

They were seated in the deliciously warm water that filled the tub to the brim with bubbles. Roy behind Danny against the back of the tub with Danny securely between his legs leaning forward with his hands resting under the water on his shins.

“For?” Roy asked putting his messily tangled hair into a bun at the top of his head, wiping away any stray strands of hairs to kiss along the small hickey forming on his neck.

“Everything I said…” Danny looked down ashamed of what he shouted during their fight, lifting his hands to now run them up and down along Roy’s spread thighs on either side of him.

He felt mortified that they ever even had such an argument, it was good to get everything out and in the open but not like that. Not in that ugly manner.

“Don’t be.” Roy’s hands slid down Danny’s shoulders to the ones on his thighs. “I don’t blame you, I deserved it. You had your heart broken because I’m an actual fucking idiot and you’re right, I was selfish.”

The guilt of everything he’d put the younger through with his overthinking slowly gnawing away at him forcing him to face his greatest fear, himself, and apologize. Swallowing every last bit of pride he had to do it.

“You weren’t.” Danny shook his head.

“No I was. I shouldn’t have just been so quick to dismiss you because of my own stupid insecurities, I should’ve listened. If I had known earlier that those idiots tried that shit I wouldn’t have asked you to leave like that.” As he spoke Danny leaned back, his back now against Roy’s well toned chest and his head in his shoulder. The skin on skin contact even more soothing than the water. “I did want you to stay, I really did, but I didn’t want you to be miserable here with me when you’d rather be with your friends.”

“Fuck my friends.” Danny scoffed, titling his head back so he could look up at Roy asking silently for a small kiss.

“You don’t mean that.” Roy rested his temple against Danny’s when his head returned to it’s previous spot in the nook of Roy’s collar.

“I do. Jay heard Dan likes me and invited him to my party, but he thought getting invited was some kind of, like, I don’t know…me asking him out and then Chris told me to give you a taste of your own medicine and fucking show him off or something.” He scrunched his face up in disgust at the memory. “So fuck them all, hope they all get some kind of STD.”

Roy laughed at his shady ass comment and wrapped on arm under Danny’s arm to drape it over his chest with his hand on Danny’s shoulder like a seatbelt shielding him from any further harm. Physical or emotional.

“Alright then. Where even is this great Chris? You said he didn’t show?”

Danny trailed his hand along the arm over him to distract himself as the sudden intense longing for his friend hit him.

“He didn’t, his grandma got sick and he’s super attached so he stayed behind.” He hooked the fingers of his other hand between Roy’s and lifted their now clasped together hands, examining his bruised knuckles. “Dan…”

“Milk.” Roy interrupted. Fuck he hated that kid. He wasn’t worthy of the same name as his love or anything better than the absurd nickname he had dubbed him. “Fuck him too, he can get an especially nasty STD.”

“Asshole.” Danny laughed, making Roy’s heart flutter. “He’s such a gross ass kisser though. He fucking tried to grope me, man. So I punched his ass.”

“Atta boy!” Roy praised proudly and brought the clasped together hands to his lips to gave each purple and red knuckle a gentle kiss careful to not hurt him. “But this might be fractured, I’ll take you to the doctors tomorrow if it’s worse.”

“Okay.” Danny sighed. Time to face the inevitable. Like a bandaid. “So what’s the deal with you and Raja, honestly? Why did you take me to see him?”

“Oh that.” Roy laughed. “I actually wanted to introduce you to Raven, you remember her right? About Raja’s height, tan, heavy ass make up with that silicone face.”

“Yeah I think so why?” Danny thought back to their New York trip together where he met a Raven.

Roy raised their hands up in front of Danny’s confused face again and playfully wiggled his ring finger. “That’s his husband you dumb bitch.”

“Oh…” Danny felt his cheek growing every shade of red imaginable and started sinking lower into the warm bubbly water. It was the only alternative to hiding his head in the dirt from embarrassment like an ostrich who was just caught with his pants down.

Roy picked up on his attempted evasiveness and pulled him back up laughing at his cartoonish blushing face.

He swaddled Danny with both his arms now around his chest, even the one still holding onto his. “You’re so precious when you’re all stupid.”

“Hey.” Danny pouted looking up at him again, his heart dropping when he saw Roy’s expression falling again.

“He actually tried going after you too to apologize for him and Shane giving you the dad speech to try and scare you.”

“They did?” Danny got a sinking feeling in his chest for not seeing through their tough guy act from the beginning. If he had this whole situation could’ve been avoided. He was usually so in tune with people’s energies why did he miss it?

“What you thought you saw at school was Raja feeling like horse shit and coming back to apologize for what he did after I cut him off.”

The memory of Danny’s upset face when he looked up at them flashing through his mind’s eye.

“You did? Why?”

“They were trying to be smart asses and instead they ended up hurting you. I don’t want anyone in my life who’s going to hurt you regardless of who they are.” Roy’s voice got low.

Danny stretched his neck up to kiss Roy as a thank you, like a princess kissing a knight after he rescued her from some great evil.

This guy really genuinely cared about him. How that was even reality absolutely stunned Danny. “I love you.”

Roy’s face lit up at the words, the way he said them in his sweet voice only adding to the butterflies in his stomach.

“I love you too.” He returned the kiss with another drawn out one. “And don’t worry I don’t think they’ll try it again.”

He reached for the hamper next to them with the grey bottle of body wash Danny had bought him on it.

“They won’t?” Danny rested his head back in it’s spot and kissed Roy’s neck.

“Nope.” Roy splashed some of the warm water over Danny’s chest before squirting the soapy charcoal colored liquid onto him. “Totally kicked their asses.”

“Legit.” Danny nodded impressed with Roy defending his honor so gallantly. Purring as Roy’s hands went about massaging the soap onto his skin. “Can I stay the night?”

Roy smiled kissing his temple. “Sure, baby.”

“Hey. Can I go through your music?”

“Yeah, sure.” After their bath and impromptu make out session as they were drying off Danny’s stomach starting growling uncontrollably loud.

Thus Roy promptly went to work making them each something to eat as the younger explored the house.

“What happened to your tv?” Danny shouted from the living room while Roy was reading the instructions on the back of a frozen pizza box he found in his freezer.

“Uh…nothing.” He panicked.

‘I broke it.’ He thought remembering how he threw one of his books at it in a fit of rage over seeing Danny with another.

“Mh-hm.” Danny came back into the kitchen a moment later with his lips pursed and the slow piano intro of Placebo’s Running Up That Hill following him.

Roy turned on the oven to preheat it and turned back to Danny walking over to him just in time for him to come up to him surprising him with a hug. Holding onto him tightly with his chin on his shoulder.

It doesn’t hurt me. Do you want to feel how it feels? Do you want to know that it doesn’t hurt me? Do you want to hear about the deal that I’m making?

There were no words, just the couple embracing each other tightly making up for lost time as the song continued playing around them.

With everything now explained calmly thanks to the relaxing high of both their amazing moment of intimacy and the long hot bath things could go back to normal.

Not entirely normal. After declaring their love for each other probably nothing would ever be normal again.

That was a future Roy’s problem to deal with though. The absolutely only concern on present Roy’s mind was engraining every little detail of their domestic bliss with his arms around the guy he loved swaying to a song he loved into it.

It was as if the man he was 48 hours ago no longer existed, Danny had completely stripped every fear, every worry, every negative thought from his mind and replaced it with images of them laughing like children wrapped in towels making bubble beards.

His doctor had been right, he might’ve been talking about his bruises but it fit the context so let’s go with it.

It had to get worse before it could get better.

And sure when things did get worse they were just plain disastrous, I’m talking hurricane Katrina level disastrous. Nonetheless in the end it was all worth it a million times over.

You, it’s you and me. And if I only could, I’d make a deal with God, And I’d get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building… “Roy?” Danny finally spoke interrupting his peaceful thoughts.

“Hm?”

You don’t want to hurt me, But see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware I’m tearing you asunder…

“I’m dropping out…”

#hold on to me #imafuckinglibra #biadore #bianca del rio #adore delano #raja gemini #courtney act #high school au #smut #rpdr fanfiction #submission #m/m au #queen au #student/teacher

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