This site may be a hellsite in a lot of ways, but ever since I’ve started actively working on my ED recovery, this has become a happy place for me. Away from the awful algorithms of other platforms that like to suggest a ton of food videos, ads for fitness supplement companies or videos of perfect bodies to me. On tumblr, I just enjoy fandom content, laugh about memes, nerd over new anime episodes and write out random thoughts and feelings.
To some people, tumblr may feel like a waste of time or an escape from everyday life. But for me, it’s just healing.
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Some File Recovery demon lore! Feat a rather unfortunate example
Angels outnumbered The Fallen by a great deal so many demons resorted to splitting themselves off to boost numbers. Many also took this root to essentially end their conscious, a thing that is rarely ever allowed for immortal beings such as them.
Splits are essentially their own people, the more simpler way I could prob describe this method is 'Reverse 2048'
Also a fun lil fact but Stolforns and Sezzi are of the same Split tree, with the latter often calling the other his brother.
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Hey, I’m recovering from anorexia, you should too. Do not scroll away, you need to here this.
(Tw for the tags, ignore them. I just needed reach.)
Imagine waking up 5 weeks from now, still starving. Still dying. Still su1c1dal and depressed. You can see yourself like that, can’t you? Fine, but what about 5 weeks from now? 5 months? You won’t be alive by 5 years if you keep starving and self distrusting. This disorder will kill you, and do not say “good, I want that” because that is not you saying that. That is your disorder.
I understand you, and we are sick. Your thinking you’re just becoming healthy, you think you’re becoming worthy and lovable, you think you’re becoming beautiful and handsome. Well you are wrong. You have always been healthy, beautiful, handsome, lovable and worthy. This disorder is making you believe you never felt/were these things so it can make you believe that happiness/beauty/worth/control=skinny. Anorexia is a sick, twisted liar. It is not your friend. It dose not make you feel good.
Anorexia lingers before and after it’s truly here. It will shame your food, clothes, hobbies and family until you break and crumble into anorexias arms. Anorexia not only hurts you, but everyone around you too. Have you noticed how distant you and your friends are? Your family? Yourself? Anorexia thrives in isolation. It will make you angry and sad so you lash out at people, it will make you fear having fun with others, it will torment you and the people you love. It is hard to recover because anorexia is trying to break you just like before.
Are your grades dropping? Is your work becoming sloppy on the job? Do your sentences make sense? Obviously not, you are dying. Your body dosent have the energy to make you function properly. Your organs are failing, your heart is slowing down, your brain is malfunctioning. How many damn times must I say this? You are dying. You have something to live for, a sibling, a pet, a friend, a unfulfilled wish, work, graduation, hobbies, getting better at something, trying something new and even recovery. Do not let this pathetic parasite kill you.
Asking for help is horrifying, sometimes dangerous, but recovery is possible. You need to recover, you are thin enough, you are sick enough, you have been hurt enough. It’s time to live. So take that little energy you have left and get help. I’m doing recovery on my own, so if solo recovery works for you then that’s okay, as long as your recovering. Killing anorexia isn’t just eating a fear food or eating when your hungry, though. Recovery is embracing every insecurity, seeing where this truly started, healing our relationship with food, family, our body and how people have treated us. It will hurt and you will relive every trauma that started this, and it will be hard to not relapse when this time comes, but listen to me and not the voice screaming.
Recovery is worth every ounce of pain. Your fear, your guilt, your trauma’s? all gone. It will never disappear, but it will become a better memory. It won’t hurt to remember. It won’t hurt to be alive. I’m sorry this has happened to us, I love you. Never give up, hope is not gone, recovery is waiting for you on the other side. You are ready.
(national suicide prevention hotline.) 1-800-273-TALK
(national eating disorder hotline) 1-800-931-2237
(National alliance on mental illness) 1-800-950-NAMI
(Anorexia and related eating disorder hotline) 1-888-375-7767
(Substance abuse and mental health hotline.) 1-800-662-HELP
(National domestic violence hotline.) 800-799-7233
(National sexual abuse hotline.) 1-800-656-4673
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i've spent the past week not sleeping and also editing literally thousands of instances of combat foley/fx (punching, body falling on floor, crashing down stairs, gunshots hitting chestplate, etc) and what has happened is that now my brain is subconsciously judging every little impact sound and grading it by how satisfying it sounded.
Backpack hit the floor? Ooo very nice sound—hey you know we should record—
Dropped jacket? Ooo did you hear the way the fabric—
Swung suitcase shut? Wow the way the hard parts of the suitcase combined with the jingle from the zippers—
Dropped something on rug? Hey you know what would be a really good idea—
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hey!! really important update!!!
if your a SH account or reblog SH stuff, please please don't follow or interact with me! I am extremely pro recovery and recovering from SH myself. The glorification of it is really not okay for my mental health or other people's.
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