#so yeah. it sucked. but I’m excited to see how many new plot points will appear from here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rosyfingereddawnn · 3 years

Text

That’s The Way (Chapter 4)

Pairing: Jimmy Page x Reader

Word count: 5.7k

Warning(s): Jimmy and Y/N falling in love at first sight🥺, nsfw insinuations in the beginning but nothing bad, language

Author’s notes: It’s Jimmy time, mates! I’m so sorry for making you wait so long! Slow burns can suck like that sometimes. I hope you’re enjoying the plot so far, and that it wasn’t what you expected! There’s so much more drama to come, though, so I hope you’re excited for that😂 As usual, please enjoy, happy reading, and send us messages if you have theories, comments, music recommendations for the playlist, or if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3

------

Y/N’s train ride home from The Yardbirds’ hotel was a constant swirl of what the fucks booming in her mind: what the fuck just happened, what the fuck does this mean, what the fuck am I doing, what the fuck is Jim doing, what the fuck will this become?

Out of all the things on God’s good, green earth he could have wanted, he wanted her to kiss him. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Y/N thought when she initially heard the request. Then, when she questioned it, he escalated it to a blowjob since she thought a kiss was “too tame.” Y/N eventually did kiss Jim, as he wished. She was pretty sure that he still wanted her to kiss him after his little upgrade, and boy, was she right. ‘He called me a princess’, she remembered...what the hell was that supposed to mean?

As contradictory as it was, her mind was racing with so many thoughts, yet, at the same time, none at all. She was in overdrive, unable to think straight. Y/N forced herself to come to her senses as the train neared her stop, since her parents could not see the sheer bewilderment in her eyes and facial expression as she walked into her home. They would ask question after question, interrogating her as if she had committed a crime they had to get to the bottom of. She had to admit, reluctantly, that this was exciting. The star-studded aspect of it, the secrecy… It was a rollercoaster ride, yet Y/N wasn’t sure she wanted to get off anytime soon. In the back of her mind, though, she knew this little dalliance wasn’t going to lead to anything serious.

Jim, however, currently sitting at the foot of his bed in an empty hotel room, was in a complete daze. He couldn’t comprehend that this was reality. The most beautiful girl in the whole world had just sucked him off, and then kissed him! She was completely obedient yet willing, and adorably shy, blushing every two seconds. But the kiss. It was dizzyingly soft, sweet, and passionate on her part. To Jim, this meeting of lips was perfect. Addictive. Devastatingly addictive, like a drug. He wanted more. Her lips were something else to taste and feel. He wondered if she would ever come back to him with intimate intentions. Perhaps even to spend the night, or something even more serious. By the way she so often smiled in a bright and enthusiastic way, Jim thought she just might. He had come to the conclusion, after continuously replaying what had happened just minutes ago in his head, that he was falling hopelessly in love with this girl. His Y/N.

Jim had never felt like this before.

And he didn’t know what to do about it.

~~~~~~~~

A few weeks later...

Y/N’s mum had sent her and her brother Charlie by train into London to go grocery shopping, and perhaps to visit Carnaby Street, Portobello Market, and the Oxfam charity shops to get some new clothes for themselves. Pushing the cart around the supermarket, Y/N and Charlie looked intently at the handwritten list their mum had given them.

“Alright, what do we need next?” Y/N asked, her head tilted to see the small piece of paper.

“Uh, we still have to get oatmeal, eggs, and some fruits and vegetables,” Charlie replied, mirroring Y/N’s position as he gazed down at the list in his hands, which was slowly being painted with black ink. They were making good time, all things considered.

“Let’s go to the produce section then, so we can get everything all in one go,” Y/N decided, starting to push the cart in that direction.

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Charlie’s nod served as confirmation, and the two walked on, gazes captured every-so-often by the gaggle of people passing by.

Once the two siblings reached their desired destination, Y/N began inspecting the clear clamshell containers of assorted berries as Charlie went to fetch a bag of broccoli florets and a variety of potatoes. As Y/N began placing the fruit in the cart, she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

She turned around to see a very domestic-looking Jeff Beck, pushing around a grocery cart, just like she was. It was odd to see him going about his life as though he was just an ordinary working-class man, especially being the revered guitar god he was. Y/N laughed at the sight as he came over towards her.

“Hi Jeff,” Y/N greeted, walking over to give him a hug.

“Hello darling,” he responded, tilting the girl back and forth in the hug, long arms cradling her against his chest. “How are you doing?”

Y/N looked at him with a small grin after pulling away. An exhale passes through pursed lips as she replies. “As well as I can be, I guess. How ‘bout you?”

“Can’t complain,” he smiled, which then turned a little more solemn. He reached out a hand to place on her upper arm in solace. “I’m still really sorry about Sam, love. I wish I could’ve told you, but he swore me to secrecy… and I don’t want to lose my job just yet.”

“Don’t worry about it, I completely understand. It’s not your fault.” Y/N’s chuckle chimed through the air, much like the birdsongs that seemed to fill the space around them, and she paused, “I’ve done quite a bit of soul-searching recently, and I don’t think I truly loved him...the situation was all so new and exciting, that it made me believe I did. But now, I realize I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you found the light at the end of the tunnel, kid. But that’s life, Y/N. You win some and you lose some.”

“Thank you, Jeff. Really. For being so supportive,” Y/N said in gratitude, as Jeff flashed her a toothy smile.

“Ah, don’t mention it...actually, it’s funny I ran into you because I was actually going to call you, but I… may have lost your number.” A sheepish hand ran through the short hair at the nape of his neck, and Y/N giggles at the man’s hesitancy.

“That’s okay. Here, I’ll write it down for you,” Y/N grinned as she took out a spare piece of paper and a pen from her bag, “what did you need to call me for?”

Jeff watched Y/N’s hands as she scribbled down her number. Her handwriting was neat, soft spirals decorating the ends of her letters. Playful, yet full of grace. Just like her, Jeff thought. “There’s a May Ball at Queen’s College in Oxford on the 18th, and I was wondering if you’d like to come. It’s outdoors, and it should be a nice day.”

As Y/N handed Jeff the piece of paper, he continued. “More importantly, a good friend of mine is attending, and I thought you would like to meet him. You two are pretty similar, so I think you’ll hit it off really well.”

“Do you mean that this meeting is supposed to be a sort of… romantic proposition?” Y/N tilted her head in playful confusion.

Jeff smirked. “Not necessarily. He’s friends with the rest of the guys, so it’s only fair that you meet him, since we consider you a part of our inner circle.”

Y/N grinned at his statement, shaking her head, a chuckle tumbling past her lips. “Well, for the record, Jeff, I’m retired from dating for a while,” she admitted, “the whole thing with Paul shook me up a bit, and I need time to trust again, y’know?”

“Yeah, I understand. But my friend is a nice bloke, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry too much, or put up a front. If you’re uncomfortable, of course we can—”

Charlie came running up to Y/N’s cart and placed the bags of broccoli and potatoes inside. He then stood next to Y/N to see this stranger that she was talking to. Jeff noticed the little boy who suddenly appeared next to Y/N, and smiled warmly. Pointing to the boy, and changing his voice to be a bit gentler than usual, he asked, “Who’s this, Y/N?”

“This is my little brother Charlie,” Y/N said, softly putting her hand on her brother’s back, bringing him to the forefront. Charlie widely smiled at Jeff, baring his childish grin that was missing a couple teeth. Charlie couldn't wait until they grew in, because it would “finally make him look like a real man”, as he exclaimed so often at home.

Jeff crouched down to Charlie’s level and stuck out his hand to shake Charlie’s. “Nice to meet ya, mate. I’m Jeff, a friend of your sister’s.”

Charlie’s eyes widened as he recognized who this man was. “Jeff Beck?” Charlie asked hopefully, “as in the guitar god, Jeff Beck?”

Jeff chuckled as he looked up at Y/N. “Is this the shit you’ve been feeding him?” Y/N nodded and laughed.

“There’s an ounce of truth in that statement, isn't there, Beck?”

“Yes, I’m Jeff Beck, but I’m just the lead guitarist for The Yardbirds. The guitar god title goes to Hendrix, or Scotty Moore,” Jeff explained. What a humble change of pace for Jeff, Y/N thought.

Jeff stood back up and walked with Y/N and her brother throughout the store, pushing their carts in sync and grabbing food as they went. He asked her about what she was up to musically, and she talked about how she was polishing up some Debussy and Rachmaninoff pieces, as well as fiddling around with some old Fats Domino and Everly Brothers records. Charlie and Jeff bonded over their love of cars, which made Y/N very happy.

~~~~~~~~

18th June 1966

The day of the May Ball came. Y/N was excited for the show, but she didn’t want a sour encounter with Paul to ruin her good time. Jeff had called her earlier in the week to give her instructions on what to do upon arrival, and how to access the backstage area safely.

The backstage area was a white tent with the sides covered. Inside, there were multiple long tables of different distinguished people, such as Mama Cass and Graham Nash. Alcohol and little finger foods littered the tables, served in such abundance that it seemed no one was going to see tomorrow.

Y/N walked over to where she saw her friends, and upon spotting the girl, they all waved and said their cheerful hellos. Y/N walked over to sit with them, and ended up taking a seat between Chris and Jeff, crossing her legs and folding her hands in a sophisticated manner, always the lady she was taught to be. She chose her seat at the table very carefully, sitting very far away from Paul Samwell-Smith.

As everyone chatted away, she noticed there was a tall, thin young man with short, dark wavy hair who sat down in a seat between Jeff and Keith, delicately holding a flute of champagne. He was looped back into the conversation immediately, as if he had known the band his whole life. When Y/N saw him, her heart stopped.

This new boy was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He looked like an English James Dean; with the kind of attractiveness that anyone, male or female, completely swooned over with a single glance. This stranger could get anything he wanted at the drop of a hat, with his gorgeous looks and his graceful countenance. He had a sullen, mysterious edge to him, but he also looked gentle and sweet at the same time. He had eyes as green as a forest full of lush deciduous trees, flawlessly framed by dark, bushy eyebrows and accented by long, thick eyelashes. His nose was adorable, petite as it was, and his lips were full and pouty. His smile and laugh made Y/N melt on the inside, his perfectly straight teeth illuminating his porcelain face.

For a moment, Y/N thought she was in love. She was pulled back from her daydream quickly, though, because Jeff realized that now was the perfect opportunity to introduce his two friends.

“Y/N, this is my friend Jimmy, who I was telling you about,” Jeff said, getting Y/N’s attention. Y/N grinned as she refocused on the situation.

Jimmy turned towards Jeff when he heard his name, and that’s when he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, sitting right next to Jeff. Lucky bastard.

His breath hitched in his throat upon sight of this girl. She was perfect; she looked like an actual angel. The way her hair, soft-looking and slightly wispy in the light summer wind, cascaded down her shoulders; her doe-eyes seemed to twinkle in the dimming light of day, pulling him in like the strongest of currents. Her pillowy, supple lips encased a perfect smile, slightly crooked. It was, like the rest of her, completely endearing.

It was then, looking at this beautiful woman, (Y/N… Jeff had said her name, hadn't he?) that Jimmy remembers he was taken. His girlfriend, Jackie DeShannon, was waiting for him at home, but he only had eyes for the girl in front of him, and it would stay that way, it seemed.. He had to get to know her.

Jimmy snapped out of his hypnosis in the nick of time. He softly smiled at Y/N, a smile that made Y/N’s insides lurch, holding out his hand for her to shake as he turned on the charm. “Jimmy Page,” he initiated, his voice being softer and more calming than Y/N expected.

Y/N shyly smiled at him, a dark pink flush gracing her natural complexion, as she reached out to grasp his hand. “Y/N Y/L/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Jeff has told me about you.”

“All good things, I hope,” Jimmy chuckled.

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Y/N beamed, a feigned contemplative look on her face.

“How do you know Jeff?” Jimmy asked, turning his body towards her, now fully invested in getting to know Y/N.

“I met him...a year ago I wanna say? Is that right, Jeff? At a Yardbirds gig at the Marquee,” Y/N asked for clarification. The last thing she wanted to do is lie about Jeff to Jimmy, even if it was something as insignificant as this. In addition, she wanted to use Jeff as a temporary crutch in the conversation. Jimmy’s beauty was making her feel shyer than she already was; she felt as if she was curling into herself.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Jeff intervened, “but she didn’t just meet me, she met the whole band.”

Jeff immediately noticed that the band was leaving the table to get ready to go on stage. Jimmy and Y/N didn’t even notice the table’s departure because they were so wrapped up in each other’s presence and words. Jimmy even moved a seat over to get closer to Y/N, although he said it was an attempt to “hear her better since the room was so loud of drunken buffoons”. Y/N had giggled at that, and it had sounded like music to the man’s ears. Jimmy was completely taken with her, as easy as it was to see.

“Wait, so how do you know Jeff?” Y/N asked curiously.

“I've known him since I was… gosh… thirteen or fourteen? We bonded over the guitar and blues. Indian music, too,” Jimmy grinned, taking a sip of his warming champagne.

“You play the guitar too?” Y/N gasped. Jimmy nodded his head enthusiastically.

“Oh jeez, I should’ve known! No wonder you’re tight with the Yardbirds,” she giggled.

Jimmy’s eyes twinkled at her now-flustered demeanor. “You’re okay, Y/N,” he chuckled, placing a hand gently on her forearm. Y/N felt her entire body break out into chills.

“I’m a session musician, actually,” he began, his hand lingering on the girl’s arm, for what seemed like a millennium to Y/N. “I’d hate to simplistically explain what a session musician is to someone like you if you already know what it is.” It sounded like he was holding back a bout of embarrassed laughter. “You must be quite intelligent, especially in matters of music, if Jeff has stuck by you for all this time.”

Y/N smiled bashfully. He’s so sensitive, she thought dreamily. “Yes, I know what a session musician is,” she giggled, “I’ve been a piano player all my life, so I know a thing or two about what you blokes are talking about when it comes to music.”

Jimmy’s heart began to thump a little faster as his smile widened. “Wow! That’s brilliant. Are you classically trained then?”

“Yes, but I do know quite a bit of blues numbers.”

“Oh, so you really know what you’re talking about! I have to admit, although I am a session musician, I’m not particularly good at reading music. Maybe you could teach me a few things about sight reading and we can jam some time?”

Y/N blushed as her lips pursed together in a grin. “I would love that. We’d have so much fun!” The way that Y/N’s full lips twisted together in a smile looked so damn kissable to Jimmy.

“My girlfriend was actually supposed to teach me music theory, but we never got around to it, unfortunately,” Jimmy continued.

“Ah, okay. Well, if you give me a time, date, and place, we can definitely make it work,” Y/N beamed.

“Wonderful!” An awkward, pregnant pause filled the space, and Y/N cleared her throat, unconsciously sliding closer to Jimmy. There was almost a magnetic pull to him, and Y/N was caught up in it.

“So, what’s it like being a session musician? I’m sure you get asked that all the time,” Y/N laughed.

Jimmy smiled. “It’s quite grueling, brutal at times, but I find it fulfilling. One mistake, and you’re fired, so it’s a lot of pressure.”

“Oh wow! That must be horrible to deal with.”

“Yeah, sometimes the pressure can really settle into you, but for me it dissipates once I’m in the booth. There’s three sessions a day, five days a week, so I don’t have much time for leisure. It’s been getting really dry lately since all I’m playing is rhythm guitar. I love experimentation and stretching out on lead guitar, so constant rhythm is getting quite annoying.”

“I understand where you’re coming from then, from a creative standpoint. How long have you been a session player?”

“Four years, roughly.”

“You must be quite dedicated then!” Y/N exclaimed, “who have you played with?”

“Oh gosh,” Jimmy exhaled deeply, calloused fingers raising to land on his chin. Slight stubble shadows it, and the sharp scent of aftershave wafted towards the girl. Lost in the scent, Y/N nearly missed his reply. “The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, Donovan, The Who, Petula Clark, Jackie DeShannon, Carter Lewis and the Southerners, Neil Christian and the Crusaders, Herman’s Hermits, Marianne Faithfull… just to name a few.”

“Wow! What a resumé!” she gushed, “That’s incredible. You should be so proud, Jimmy.”

“Thank you very much, love, I appreciate it.”

Suddenly, an announcer’s booming voice cut through Jimmy and Y/N’s conversation as he introduced the Yardbirds to the stage. As the five men walked on, Jimmy stood up from his chair.

“Come with me to the wings so we can see and hear them better,” he smiled, holding out his arm for Y/N to take. Y/N agreed, standing up and linking her arm with Jimmy’s as they walked in sync to the side of the stage.

The first few numbers were played perfectly, and it was clear that the audience (and even the road crew) were enchanted by the spectacle. Y/N knew from past shows that the next song would be “Train Kept A-Rollin’,” and she knew that they always knocked that one out of the park. It was always stimulating and explosive.

Jeff and Chris began the opening riff, the low E, G, and A notes thundering out of the monitors melodically. Just as Keith sang “got a train” on his cue, he fell straight backward and hit his head off Jim’s bass drum. Jimmy and Y/N’s jaws dropped in shock as a loud gasp echoed through the air from the audience. The music abruptly stopped as the rest of the band crowded around Keith’s fallen figure to see if he was alright. Murmurings of “fucking hells” were all that were spoken from the road crew as they tried to redeem the concert.

“He was drunk,” Jimmy whispered to Y/N giddily, “he was completely out to lunch and wobbling as he walked onstage.”

“I didn’t even notice,” Y/N replied quietly with a grin, “that definitely explains all the empty bottles and glasses on the table.”

Momentarily, Keith got back up and motioned for the band to restart “Train Kept A-Rollin’” and they finished the song without another mishap. The rest of the set was completed smoothly, and everything sounded sonically incredible. Jimmy and Y/N stood close together the entire time, Jimmy sneaking glances at Y/N from time to time. He lost his breath with the way her eyes were almost aglow in the fading light, and her soft-looking lips parted in childlike wonder as she watched the live music.

The Yardbirds came off the stage, begrudgingly making their way into the backstage tent, where Jimmy and Y/N had situated themselves. No one looked happy, especially Paul. Jeff had his usual stoic look, but he was rushing around for any alcoholic beverage he could find to ease his nerves after what could have been the worst possible scenario.

Everyone took a seat at the table where they were before the show. Jimmy and Y/N sat next to each other as they took in the distressed expressions of the five other men. Jeff was slumped in his chair, next to Jimmy, taking swigs of a beer he’d found. Jim and Chris just stared at the ground, drink in hand. Paul just looked royally pissed off, to the point that it almost scared Y/N. Keith, however, was still totally out of it in his drunken stupor.

“Hey, Jim,” Jeff said quietly to Jimmy, “look, you know, I’m really sorry about the gig. I’m sure you aren’t interested in joining the band now…”

“Oh no,” Jimmy chuckled, “that was amazing! Absolutely brilliant! I loved it.”

Y/N’s interest piqued as she heard their whispers of new information. “Wait! Jimmy’s joining the band? I thought there were only supposed to be five live Yardbirds,” she whispered.

Jeff leaned over Jimmy to whisper back to Y/N. “Oh yeah! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you this already. Paul is probably going to leave the group...and I think it might be sooner than we thought, especially after the whole Keith fiasco...Jimmy is going to take his place on bass, and hopefully he’ll take on dual lead guitar at some point. Then Chris will do bass,” Jeff’s eyes diverted to Paul, who was sitting with his arms crossed and face angry, staring off into space. Jimmy and Y/N followed Jeff’s line of sight mischievously.

“Oooh! Great plan,” Y/N smiled.

A little smirk creeped across Jeff’s face as he quietly counted down, “3...2...1…”

At the very prompt “1,” Paul abruptly stood up from his chair very loudly, capturing everyone’s attention.

“You know what? I’m done,” Paul exclaimed, stepping away from the chair as he pushed it in under the table.

“Woah, woah, woah!” Jim began, standing up from his own chair, “what do you mean ‘you’re done’? What the hell does that mean?”

Paul sneered at Jim. “What do you think I mean? I mean I’m done with this bullshit. I’ve had enough of the horrid travelling, not being noticed, and this drunk-off-his-ass bastard,” he exclaimed angrily, pointing at Keith.

“You need to relax, Sam,” Chris said gently, “look at everything we’ve accomplished over the last three years. You want to give that up? You’re losing your shit over one bad performance.”

“It’s been on my mind for a long time now, Chris. I fucking hate it,” Paul continued, anxiously running his hands through his hair, “and you know what? Y/N hanging around all the time has made it worse. She’s just here to be our fucking groupie. She’s only eating off our clout to be friends with famous people.” The entire table went silent, looking around nervously.

Y/N’s eyes widened at Paul’s awful accusation. “Are you serious?” she shot back coldly, “I knew you were an asshole, but I didn’t know it was this bad.”

“Oh what, you think I don’t recognize that that’s your motive?” Paul said condescendingly.

“If you think that being absolutely obsessed with you all is my sole hobby, my motive, whatever that means... you are sadly mistaken,” Y/N responded, her eyes closing to slits and her lips pressed together in disgust.

“You’re probably sleeping with Jim or Chris now for all I know!” he shouted, arms flailing in the air.

Y/N was fuming now, standing up from her own chair facing Paul. “How dare you make me seem like I’m a whore for the Yardbirds! Even if I was sleeping with Jim or Chris, that would be none of your business because you pursued me when you were fucking married, you dipshit.”

Paul’s maddening countenance grew. “You’re just an insecure little girl who needs famous musicians around her to validate her and make feel better about herself. You’re a fucking nuisance, like a gnat that just won’t fly away even when you swat at it again and again.”

Y/N gasped, the sound drowned out by the screech of metal against tile, as Jimmy stood up from his chair. He was distraught, upset at the antics between the two bitter exes, and stepped in front of Y/N to protect her from the horrible verbal blows served by Paul Samwell-Smith. Jeff beat him by a second, as he started to berate Sam for his little episode.

“You listen up, you wanker,” Jeff started, wagging his index finger in front of Sam’s face, “you’re just being a butthurt little bitch because Y/N found out that you were married. If anyone’s the whore here, it’s you. Y/N is our friend, even Jimmy’s now, and she takes care of us and makes us happy. She’s not just some whimsy, disposable groupie like the way you used her; she’s an intelligent, sweet, pretty girl who has our best interest at heart. And we have hers. You have to be a fucking idiot not to see that.”

Paul was taken aback. “I write, produce, and play bass for this group. All you do is play lead guitar. Trust me, Beck, I’m not the idiot here.”

“Well, your goddamn head isn’t screwed on straight, then,” Jimmy added, “I’ll be taking your place, thank you very much. And you will never mistreat Y/N on my watch. Ever. I’ve known her for about an hour, and she’s already absolutely magnificent.”

Y/N’s throat felt clenched, but some of the tension was relieved when she realized how protective Jimmy was being over her. As mad as she was, butterflies filled her stomach at his warm ways.

“I’m out of here! You all suck anyway. Have a nice trip to hell, all of you,” Paul said as he walked away to the road crew to get his belongings, flipping the people at the table off.

Y/N sat back down in her chair once Paul was out of sight, slouching and holding her cheeks with her hands as she blankly stared at the edge of the table. Jimmy and the four Yardbirds dragged their chairs closer to a saddened Y/N, who was determined to fight off the tears that threatened to roll down her fury-flush cheeks.

Jeff frowned at the state of his friend, starting to softly rub her cardigan-clothed back to console her. “I’m so sorry about Sam, Y/N. His behaviour was absolutely horrendous, and I can assure you, none of the things he said about you were even close to being true.”

Keith, still a bit drunk, stood up and walked over to Y/N, planting a peck on her cheek. “We’re so glad you’re here, dear. Truly. That belligerent little asshole can suck a fat one.”

A close-lipped smile found its way on Y/N’s lips. “Thanks Keith,” she chuckled.

“I’m going to go get you a cup of water, alright love?” Chris said as he stood up to walk over towards the bar.

“Thank you so much Chris,” she called after him. Chris flashed her a kind smile as he walked away.

I guess Mum and Dad were wrong...they really do care about me, Y/N thought happily, they really, truly do.

~~~~~~~~

After the May Ball was over, and the sky was growing darker with the coming evening, Jimmy and Y/N walked around the grounds of the venue together, talking about anything and everything and sharing laughs.

The lighthearted mood took a drastic shift at one of Jimmy’s followup questions.

“So, Y/N, if you don’t mind me asking, what was the whole row between you and Sam about?”

Y/N flashed a sad smile, but it quickly faded as she took a deep exhale. “Well—”

Panicked, Jimmy took this as a cue that she didn’t want to talk about it. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I get it because of how heated it was. I’m just worried about you, is all,” he interrupted.

“No, it’s okay. Really. I trust you,” she replied with a pursed lip-smile. Jimmy returned the sentiment, internally relieved that Y/N had already seemed to take a liking to him.

“Alright, so about a year or so ago, I went to a Yardbirds gig at the Crawdaddy Club, a few months after I met the band for the first time. Paul asked me out after that show, and nobody told me he was married, so naturally, I accepted.”

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, love. What a shitty thing to do, especially to someone as wonderful as you,” Jimmy replied with a little flush, giving the girl a little rub on the small of her back.

Heat rippled throughout Y/N’s body at his touch. Regaining her composure, she sighed. “Thank you Jimmy. That means a lot. More than you know, actually.”

After a short silence, Y/N continued. “We went out for about eight months...and in retrospect, it now makes sense why I could never go over to his place. But anyway, I found out about it before the band played on Ready, Steady, Go in February. Keith, Jeff, Jim, and I were all talking at the front of the stage before rehearsals and it slipped.”

“Who ended up telling you?”

“Jim, but it was purely an accident.” Suddenly, all of the events that had happened between her and Jim guiltily flooded her mind. Now with Jimmy beginning to infiltrate her mind and cloud her vision, how was she supposed to genuinely enjoy the secrecy? Ah shit, she thought, here we go again.

“After the show, I confronted him about it,” Y/N continued, “and he was blaming me for our time together, a-and for ‘tempting’ him into asking me out just by being… me?”

“He seems like a right wanker, I can tell you that for sure,” Jimmy muttered, sliding his hand from its resting place on her back, to her shoulder, squeezing it lightly in solidarity. Y/N met his eyes then, tears filling her gaze, and Jimmy frowns. No one as lovely as her should be feeling this way. He smiles at her, and to Y/N, it is filled with comfort and appreciation. Some emotion… something akin to love, perhaps, lit a fire in her chest, and she looks away. The evening ambience does nothing to hide the traitorous blush that painted her cheeks.

“It’s getting quite dark out, love. How did you get here?” Jimmy asked, stealing another glance at a girl as she looked down at her ballet flats once more.

“I took the train, actually,” Y/N replied.

“Oh, so did I! Here, I’ll walk with you over to the station then.”

Y/N grinned at him. “That’s so kind of you, Jimmy. Thank you.”

“No problem, love. What’s your stop?” Jimmy asked as they began to make their way over to the station.

“St. Alban’s. How about you?”

“Epsom. I still live with my parents, I’m afraid,” he chuckled sheepishly.

“Oh, it’s okay!” she laughed with him, “so do I. It’s nice though, to still live with your parents… home-cooked meals and laundry and all. Plus sleeping in your own bed, and using your own bathroom, of course.”

“Those are very good points,” Jimmy agreed with a chuckle.

The two boarded the train once they got to the station, only waiting on the platform for a few minutes. They continued to talk all the way to St. Albans, where Y/N got off to walk home.

“Say you’ll see me again sometime soon, Y/N,” Jimmy half-asked, half-declared as she stood up to get off the train.

Y/N grinned at him. “I definitely will, Jimmy. It was so nice meeting you tonight...I loved getting to know you.”

“The feeling is mutual, love. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, okay?” he reached out his hand to grab Y/N’s, shaking it a little and smiling at her. Y/N nearly swooned at the gesture.

“I’ll try my best. You do the same as well. Have a good night!”

“Thank you, you too!” Jimmy waved as Y/N walked out the train’s doors. Her scent, a delicious mixture of vanilla with a hint of laundry detergent, lingered in the air as she passed by, weakening him both physically and his rational judgment.

He had a lot of thinking to do on the ride home.

————

Taglist: @blood-on-blood @reincarnated70sbaby

#that's the way #jimmy page #the yardbirds #led zeppelin #jimmy page fanfic #jimmy page fanfiction #led zeppelin fanfic #classic rock fanfic

41 notes · View notes

imaginewarehouse · 3 years

Text

Various Males x Fem!ExModel!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: You, a retired model get hired at Cloud 9 and, not-at-all-surprisingly, you get harassed by every allegeable (According to them) bachelor in the place- but god fucking damnit! You’re just here to get a paycheck??!

“You can’t knock ‘em out, you cant walk away,

Try desperately to think about the politest way to say,

“Just get out of my face,”, “Just leave me alone,”

“And no you cant have my number,”,

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

(Inspired by Lily Allen’s Knock ‘Em Out)

Includes (In order of appearance after the introduction bit): Sal Kazlauskas, Garret McNeil, Tate Staskiewicz, Isaac (And I think my favouritism here definitely bleeds through*Cough*), Elias Greene, Cory, Jonah Simms, and Marcus White.

Warnings: Sal, harassment (They leave after you say no though. Just to be sure)

🔆 🔆 🔆

“And uh, yeah one last thing before we all hop off to work! We have a new Cloud 9 family member. Y/N! Would you like to stand up?” Glenn, the lovely man who took your interview a week ago and then went out of his way today to look for you out front in the morning to show you around quickly and guide you through clocking in, finds you in the crowd of workers and gestures for you to stand.

Oh, uh- uhh, okay! Up we get, then, you think as you stand up like he said and take a look around at all the judging eyes, which normally wouldn’t phase you but here is a lot scarier than what you’re used to. This an entirely different environment to getting up at a modelling gig- you know nothing about working this kind of job! You’ve never done it, so, you’re afraid they’ll judge you right off the bat and make it difficult for you to ask questions. And you can’t keep bothering Glenn- he has more important things to do.

Oh god, you hear whispering. You peer around. Where is that coming from?-

“This is Y/N L/N! She’ll be working with Go back’s today,” Right, Go Back’s Easy enough; Glenn explained them earlier before the meeting started. “So if you see her in your area- be sure to say hello and see if she needs some help, K? Good. We’re jazzed to have you with us Y/N.”

“Thank you!” You quip quickly, then sit down and focus on Glenn again, hoping dearly at the same time that attention disperses from you immediately.

Glenn smiles, glancing down at his clipboard for any last-minute messages. “Okay! I think that’s it, so- “

The whispering from before suddenly cuts off. “Uh yeah, question?” Glenn stops short when a man in the back kind of rudely cuts him off, but sighs out a ‘Yes, Marcus?’ as the woman beside him - Dina, - rolls her eyes severely. Oh, you let a tiny ghost of a smirk slip over your lips. That’s kind of a reaction, isn’t it? “Yo- new girl.” What- me- w h y- You immediately get awkward again and twist around in your chair, but don’t really know who to look at. Luckily the tall brunette in the warehouse uniform is pointing, so you figure it out pretty quick that that’s who you’re looking for, and calm down. Mostly.

Yeah? You raise one eyebrow. “Hi?”

He grins back to the right and the left of him, to his equally pleased buddies and pals, before raising a Vogue magazine- and it’s the issue on which you scored the front page. Jeez, that was months ago! “Is this you?”

A chorus of ‘Ohhhhh’ and general excitement travels around the room and for the first time ever, you’re half ashamed to admit that yes that is you. In your usual circle this is something to be proud of… but you get that it isn’t really like that, in non-modelling circles. In fact, it could be something to be embarrassed about.

Especially seeing that oh dude and his gang of Michael Myers fashion wannabes look like a hungry, dim-witted, wolves rather than plainly interested about your modelling career.

But, still, you smile politely and nod. Hopefully it’ll be forgotten before the afternoon, at least. “Yeah, that’s me.”

“Nice.”

Hmm… you really, really hope that it’s forgotten soon, at least, as you turn back around to face the front again as Glenn sends everyone off to work. Because if not, then these boys are going to learn the hard way that models take self-defence classes religiously.

Or at least you are going to have a very uncomfortable day, which is just great. You groan inwardly at the thought, as you gather up your coffee from the table beside you and drop it in the trash can on the way out.

You’re just doing your own thing and someone

Comes out of the blue,

They’re like,

“Alright”

But he’s saying

“Yeah can I take your digits?”

And you’re like, “No, not in a million years, you’re nasty.

Please leave me alone.”

There’s already so many Go Back’s! You think excitedly, as you get to work looking for where things should be. You’re glad to have something to do- at your first job with Chuck E Cheese, before you got into the modelling thing, you were basically useless the first day because you weren’t allowed to grill yet, you didn’t know how to assemble, and they didn’t want you out on the floor for the birthday party that was happening, in fear that you would mess up royally. So you just sat around trying not bother anyone, and that felt terrible. So, wandering the aisles of Cloud 9 with a full shopping trolley searching for products and neatening things up? Sounds like a good deal to you. Yes please.

“Uhh, hi.”

You practically jump entirely out of your skin, hearing the voice right beside you and whip your head around to see a balding guy in a blue Cloud 9 jacket. Is this man licking his fingers!?

“Uh,” You step back with your brightest, most polite smile, picking something up from the Go Back’s cart and rounding it to put it between you and the man, before acting like you’re stupid enough to be putting barbecue sauce in the Barbie section, and then… “Oh, oops! Silly me!” You flash the guy a nervous look. “I’m still working things out… “

Well? Better to look like an absolute idiot, then be standing within grabbing radius of the creepy man licking his fingers that you’re all alone in the middle of an empty aisle with. “Um… so, what’s up? Did someone send you to find me, or… am I doing something wrong? You know better than me, after all!”

“No… “His gaze licks up your form and if it weren’t for all your ‘training’ in staying still and not feeling this kind of thing- you absolutely would have wigged out. “You’re doing fine… Just wanted to see you.”

Boy- if anyone else could see your face right at this moment, full of disgust and mild horror, you’re sure you would be YouTubes next hit. Or a meme. “Oh… “You nervously chuckle. “Um, well, I’m gonna… go… “You pull the trolley around so that you can back up out the back of the aisle and escape through stuffed toys, into the open but his hand comes down on the other end of the trolley- stopping it. Before you can stop yourself, verbal diarrhoea spews from your lips. “Glenn has my resume- there’s a photo on there you can have.”

“That’s okay I prefer them to be breathing.” Both his hands are on the end of your trolley now, tight so his knuckles turn white, and he’s breathing unnecessarily heavy. He’s even leaning over the trolley some like his body really can’t handle whatever terrible heat is plaguing it right now. Oh god, oh god oh god oh god… this is so gross.

“Well, that’s… u-understandable...”

He looks up into your eyes, now, and doesn’t blink. Who the hell is this guy?! “Say… “ Oh no, oh no- he’s coming around the trolley-he’s coming around-he’s close-too close-too close-mayday-MAYDAY- Slowly, in your face, he licks up his thumb, makes an ‘Mm,’ sound, and you deeply wince; So much so in fact that one of your eyes completely closes. “Could I take your phone number?”

You absolutely couldn’t have helped what happened next if you had wanted to.

“Eeeeuuuwwwwwwww no not in a million years, your nasty, please leave me alone!!” You exclaim in a high voice before abandoning the trolley and rushing off to customer service.

“No you cant have my number,”

“Why?”

“Cuz I lost my phone.”

By the time you got to the front desk, you had basically calmed down and were mostly just stressed that you left the Go Back’s behind- but still must look troubled as the guy manning the front desk makes a confused, half-concerned but mostly intrigued kind of face at you as you stop there. You’re about to explain your appearance - that or just shrug, not too bothered about reporting whatever mess that was. Not on your first day, at least. No way. - when his face relaxes, and he nods. “Ohhh. Damn, Sal got to you?”

Sal? Was that the guy’s name? You didn’t check. “Oh, was that his name? I was a bit too preoccupied by his eyeballs sucking out my soul, to notice his name tag.” Now that you’re thinking about it, though, you glance at this man’s name tag. Garret.

“Yep, that’s Sal. That’s just one of the wonderful things involved in working here that you’ll just have to get used to.” Garret grins, offering you a chill perspective with a side of cynicism. You sigh, truly feeling relieved that you’ve found a normal person and relax your back against the taller part of the desk.

“Brilliant.” The sarcasm drips off the tip of your tongue.

“You’ll have to deal with a lotta that here, though, looking like you do.” You turn your head to the side to look already exhausted just by the idea, at him. He shrugs. “Hey, I don’t make the rules. I just speak the truth.”

“God- I feel sorry for the other women working here.”

“Oh, no. They’re in a completely different wheelhouse to you. Sorry.” Garret leans on his forearms on the desk, and you roll over to lean on your shoulder and pay attention. “See, you’re a model- “

“I was a model,”

“You were a model- which through primitive male thought process makes you prime real estate. Whoever manages to ‘bag’ you, for lack of a better word I apologise, gets some serious bragging rights.” He shrugs, and looks vaguely apologetic but still some how shameless as this utter bullshit slips out of his mouth. “We can’t help it- some of us don’t even know we’re doing that, but we are. Actually, I’m probably the only one who’ll admit it… which… kinda makes me your best option. Self-awareness, and all that.”

Oh. A dry laugh comes out of you as you feel a text come through in your back pocket and pull out your phone. As you see that its not an urgent message, you immediately put the phone back and glance around for any supervisors before returning to your conversation with Garret. “Oh- of course it does.”

“Exactly!” He grins, and you can’t tell through his expression at all whether he’s genuinely this clueless or if he’s just shooting his shot. “So- “

“No, you can’t have my number.”

“Why?”

Deadass, in a very monotone voice, you say: “I lost my phone.”

Then the two of you just have a stare off for a minute. Garret because he just saw you use your phone, and you because you wont back down.

“Oh yeah, actually yeah I’m, I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby in like 6 months, so no. Yeah, yeah… “

“You know,” The chemist pipes up from behind the Pharmacy desk as you put back some pill boxes he said were fine to return to the shelves, and you glance over at him to show you’re listening, and check his name tag. “I myself considered a career in modelling, before this. People even say, now, that I could model.”

Oh boy. You think, fighting not roll your eyes. And how old are you? Early 30’s? I don’t think so buddy.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t recommend it.” You flash him a nervous grin before returning to your shelving. “You’re good for, like, 3 years. But then you hit 22 and unless you look like Victoria Justice shared with you whatever youth fountain she got chucked into, then you have to find something else to do with your life- despite having nothing to fall back on.” Okay… so… I might be a bit bitter.

Tate chuckles - and oh boy, he sounds just like your old manager. Totally fake, -, hiding his hands in his lab coat pockets. “Yeah, you’re probably right… Besides, I got the better end of the deal, anyway. Doctor for the doctors, they call us.” They call Pharmacists that? Who? That’s news to you. “Ahhh, yeah… I’m doing pretty well for myself.”

“Yep.” Forcing a fake smile his way, you leave the shelf you were stocking and get closer to the desk to stock another, as Tate’s eyes follow you waiting for encouragement of some kind. Doesn’t he have a job to do?? “You chose well!”

“Yeah, thanks. I know.” Ffffff-f a r out. This guy! “You know, you and me, we’d make a good couple.”

Oh? Dear god? You pause your shelving in surprise at the bomb this man has just dropped so casually, fish oil tablets paused on their journey to the shelf mid-air. Could Garret’s crazy-pants theory have been right?

“Ohh,” You giggle nervously, returning to work a bit faster now. “I don’t know. I think for a pharmacist like you, I would envision, like… “An actual doctor? No, I can’t say that. “A personal trainer, or something. Keep you both healthy all-round, you know? Now that’s a power team.” As long as that personal trainer has humility enough for the both of them, at least.

“Mergh,” He makes a face, like ‘What the heck are you talking about??’, before shaking his head of the things you just said and leaning over the desk towards you. You keep packing, even faster now. Like the Flash. Go! Go! Go! Death Con 5!! “So, whadaya say? I could pick you up Friday after work, and we could head up to one of my timeshares?” He says that like it’s such a selling point! You think, fighting off the powerful urge to laugh but still feeling the panic deep in the pits of your soul. “Stake it out together for the weekend? Get to know each other?”

“Uhh… “Excuses! What are they? You slowly stop stocking, turning around to face him and crossing your arms. The man deserves to at least be faced as he’s rejected; You’re kind enough to give him that, at least. “I’d love to! But, the thing is… “Chewing your bottom lip, you think hard.

Ding Ding Ding!!

“The thing is, Tate… “You fake some nerves, now. “I’m actually, uh… “You look up, face relaxing. “Pregnant.”

Oh boy, the way that man recoils at that word, like a terrified, disgruntled, blonde hedgehog. You’re going to laugh so hard about it, later!! “Oh.”

“Yeah! Oh, I mean, yeah… I’m gonna be having a baby, in like, 6 months so… yeah… Yep.“ You shrug to him, as if its just so unfortunate. “Shame.”

She looks in her bag, takes out a fag, tries to get away from the guy on a blag,

Can’t find a light.

‘’Here, use mine.’’

‘’See the thing is I just don’t have the time.’’

Ahh, lunch. Now you can check your texts! Hmm, you look through your notifications and gradually lose excitement. Mum… mum… mum… phone bill company… friend… mum again…

Ah, the glamorous life of the famous.

You roll your eyes, and get to responding to your mothers texts about dinner and when you’ll be home and how your first day is going, not noticing the not-so-jolly, not-so-green-(unless-you-meant-pot) giant approaching you. When you finally finish responding to both your mum and your friend, you put your phone away and start unwrapping your lunch- a typical ham sandwich that you’re actually pretty excited about. That’s one good thing about your sudden drop in financial status; You can put in your damn sandwich as many pieces of ham and cheese as you like. Grinning excitedly, you pick it up and have it halfway to your mouth before another person - a very heavy, large person, - drops down beside you on the bench you’ve commandeered behind the store. You close your mouth without any delicious lunch inside it and look up, politely to the person who’s joined you.

And all you can think, is wow.

He could put you in a suitcase and walk off with you right now and have no problems.

That’s wow.

“Hi! I’m Y/N,” You introduce yourself, offering a hand for him to shake.

“I know.” Oh, well yeah okay that’s understandable. Glenn did introduce you to everyone this morning. Despite the man’s less-then-excited response, he takes your hand in his and shakes. It makes you all giddy inside, honestly. So b i g. “Names Isaac.”

Do you remember Isaac in the breakroom this morning? You wrack your brain for him, because surely if he was there you noticed him-

Oh. Yep, you remember him. He was one of that Marcus-Dude’s pals chuckling and whispering behind him. He was one of the men that had the magazine with you on the front, and if there’s one thing you know about men who carry Vogue in their locker’s it’s that they fit into only 2 groups- interested in fashion, obviously… and interested in the women. And this man clearly is not interested in fashion. Immediately, on this realisation, you feel disappointed- you really could have liked this man right off the bat…

But it looks like he’s just going to be another of the men at this store you have to get to know, before becoming friendly with.

“So,” He starts, and you fight off a wince. Hopefully, you don’t know what’s coming. But… the likeliness of that is not high. “You wanna go out, some time? I’m a big fan of your work.” He smirks.

“Oh, ha ha.” You laugh sarcastically, shaking your head and returning to your sandwich. You take a bite and- Ahhhhhh, so worth the wait. Oh my god. Food orgasm. “At least you’re honest!”

“Yeah, so is that a yes?” His face brightens a smidgeon, which is a lot seeing as he doesn’t seem to be totally all there, in the first place.

You look up at Isaac, and look apologetic. He was honest with you so its only fair that you’re genuine with him. “Sorry… “

“Ah- actually, I don’t know if this’ll change your mind, but I have 2 weeks to live, so… “

Never mind on that honesty thing, then.

Dull-eyed, you stare up at him. “… Uh-huh.”

“Its true! I have, uh, cancer.” He insists, nodding his head and forcing his eyebrows up his forehead all serious-like.

“Cancer.” Right.

“Yep.”

Right, time to look in the bag... You start to wrap up your lunch again - sadly, as now you’ll have to wait until the end of the day and the bus ride home to eat it, - and plop it back away in your bag, getting up and pulling out a cigarette instead- that should hold you over until the end of the day. “My lunch break is actually over, so I should go- Damn, where’s my light?“

Isaac rifles through his pockets until he pulls out an old looking neon orange lighter, and offers it to you. “Here, use mine.”

Oh, no. You stare at it like a deer in headlights. If you accept that, like you really want to right now because it’s been a month since your last smoke, then you have obligations to sit with him for another couple minutes, at least.

Aghh… You groan and whine on the inside, before making up your mind and flinging the cigarette into a puddle. “See the thing is, I don’t actually have the time-”

“Go away now, let me go.”

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

“Ughhh… “This one has been giving you looks all day, but had no courage until now to speak to you- but the thing is? He didn’t have the smarts, either, to take off his wedding ring at least before he decided to be a bastard and bother you. So you feel absolutely no regret about being exactly as dismissive or plain rude, as you feel. “Elias? Go away now.”

The nervous man, who’s been ringing his hands this whole time and stuttering through failed date requests that you pretended you didn’t understand because of his struggle, gets panicked. “Just let me ask!- Will, will you go out with me?”

“No.” You yawn, dropping a piglet toy into a basket.

“But!- “

Turning away, you start pushing your trolley along to get to the next aisle. “Let me go.”

“We can go wherever you like!”

Sighhhhhhhhh. You turn around and grant him an audience, putting your hands on your hips and raising you brows at the wedding band on his left hand.

“Are you stupid? Or just a little slow?”

“Please fuck off.”

Oh good god in heaven, they’re going bigger with their proposals.

“Y/N! Will you go out with me?”

This man, Corey, has grabbed the announcement phone now that you’re walking away, making you freeze like the dad possum in Over The hedge and seriously consider playing dead, too, as you slowly turn around to look at him again.

Oh, if only looks could kill- he would be so dead that even Vlad the Impaler’s victims would laugh.

This is your first day, and the fact that you’re being harassed by multiple stupid men is bad enough but now he’s calling attention to you like this? Glenn’s going to think you’re a troublemaker!! Jesus fucking Christ- you need this job! Corey continues to talk into the speaker phone, even as he looks into your eyes and sees his death. “And… now… you’re looking at me like that, so uh… I’m just gonna… say please?”

… “’Please’ fuck off.”

“Yes ma’am-“

“Go away now, I’ve made myself clear.

I don’t think so.

Nah its not gonna happen.

Not in a million years.”

Since the run-in with Corey and the following spike in your blood pressure, you’ve calmed down again. But now you’re looking into the two faces of a ‘Mateo’, who you apparently work with, and a ‘Castor’ who does not work here and is not shopping but is still in your face and is t h i s close to feeding that ugly tie to his cousin.

But, still, you’re going to stay graceful, because Castor constantly looks like he’s 3 seconds from pooing himself. “Now please go away, now… I think I’ve made myself clear.” By explaining, politely, that you aren’t looking for a man but thank you for the offer, Castor.

“Oh, but you haven’t heard what Castor does for a living! He’s in insurance,” Mateo explains to you, like this is some huge game changer. When you don’t react, he adds that there’s good money, insurance.

You almost laugh. Does this boy really think you’re such a gold digger? Boy- if I wanted riches then I could’ve easily become a C-Class actor who has no skills in the area, but is pretty so gets praised like she does- like a lotta my model friends.

Instead I’m here, at Cloud 9.

Come to your own conclusions.

But instead of saying that, though, you just shake your head nervously. “I don’t think so… “

“But!- “

“Nah… sorry, its… not gonna happen… “

“But Castor is- “

“Not in a million years… “

“Aw, no. I gotta go. My house is on fire.”

Now, at least this one is respectful, you think, listening to him talk about the products you’re shelving together. He had come over and offered to give you a hand when you looked confused, as a ‘Cheyanne’ had handed you a scanner earlier and then promptly ran off, despite your utter incompetence. You were so relieved that this guy turned up!!

“… so, you just punch in reduce .50, and scan! Its pretty easy, if you have it properly explained to you. I- I was actually in the same situation, as you! When I first started here, except I ended up, uh, reducing all the items in electronics to 15 cense rather than discounting it all 15 percent.” A grin spreads across your lips at the story, and thank god that Jonah had turned up before that happened to you and, with your luck, you got fired for it.

“Oh no!”

“Yeah- Amy, our uh, floor supervisor, was pretty cranky with me about that… “He laughs himself, resting his hands on his hips; Still looking nervous at the memory.

You look back down at the scanner you’re holding and shake your head. “Well at least you know, now! And thank you so much for coming to my aid, haha. I was so lost- you’ve been a huge help! A life saver, truly.”

“Yeah… “ He gives a cute little, reserved smile. “So, uh, its basically the end of the day! Hope you’re first day hasn’t been too strenuous. At the end of my first day, I know I was tired. But I got to go out with a couple of the other employees and have a drink, to destress. If-If you were free, we could… do something. Together.” Your eyebrows slowly raise up your forehead at that, and you turn to look up Jonah, sceptical. What was that? You sure have had a long day, and its about to get a lot longer if this boy is asking what you think he is. “Sorry! Sorry, that sounded weird. Um, I guess what I’m really asking, is… would you like to, I dunno, go out with me sometime? I know some great places.”

Oh, noooooo! You cry, on the inside. You thought you found a normal one!

Still, he is being so nice… The least you could do is let him down easily.

“Oh, Jonah, I actually… oh- sorry.” Your phone beeps in your pocket and you take it out quickly to have a glance - its just your mother… again, - … and suddenly get an idea. Feigning shock, you quickly put the phone away and put down the scanner. It’s time to clock out and go home, anyway, thank god. “I have to go! That was my mum, uh- I really have to go!”

“Wow, wow, wow, what’s wrong?? Can I help with anything?”

Oh… he looks so concerned. He’s sweet.

But before you can rethink your words, this living horror slips out. “My-my house is on fire.”

Oh god, you’re a horrible person.

“I’ve, I’ve got herpes. No- Syphilis!”

Oh thank god the day is over. Rolling your shoulders back, you kneel down at your bottom locker, open it up and take out your bag. Now you can go home and put on Gotham on Netflix, wear no pants and eat thin mints until you fall asleep.

When you get up, you aren’t watching out for a man to be standing barely half a foot away from you - Your mistake, obviously, - so you jolt right out of your skin when you see him and curse. What is wrong with these men? Does Cloud 9 offer complimentary staff ninja classes along with their lack of health insurance? Man, classy company. “Sorry!” You look up past the coveralls after stepping a safe distance back from him, and immediately feel dread deep in your chest. “Oh, hi. Marcus, was it?”

“That’s me! How was your first day?” He asks, seeming polite enough despite the fact that you’re cornered between tall boy and the lockers. And you’re too tired to try and slip away- this boy will get out of your way.

“It was good! Thanks for asking. I’m ready to go home and collapse, though.” You admit, shoulders dropping and a tired smile on your lips. Mmm… thin mints… bed… blankets… Cory Michael Smith… I can taste it… Marcus just needs to get out of my way.

“I hear that.” Evidently not quite as deeply, though, as he moves on pretty fast. “Listen- I was thinking if you’re into it we could… go out, some time.” He tilts his head forward to clarify, “On a date,”, in case that part hadn’t translated, and chuckles. “We could see a movie or get drinks, or something, I don’t know. How about tonight?”

T-tonight? The word nearly slips from your lips; All disbelief and tears and exhaustion, included. You’re so tired. “Um… you know, tempting offer, but um… “He looks so hopeful. It nearly changes your mind. “Not tonight.”

“OH! So like, tomorrow?” Oh christ- “Cuz I’m supposed to watch Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here with my mum, but… no, I can blow that off! So, tomorrow?”

You take a deep breath, not really knowing what you can say. “Marcus… “He raises his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “… I have herpes.”

“Wait, what??” He steps back, nearly tripping over a table in his fear that just being near you will cause him to contract the disease, and you let your guard down in relief. Yep, for sure, definitely. If it makes him back off, then yes- you have herpes. You have a raging, festering case of herpes.

“Yeah! Or-“ Squinting, you pretend to sift through your brain. “Was it Syphilis?” This boys eyes basically bulge out of his head and you’re totally going to laugh about it later, but right now you have to get out of there. You waive your hand dismissively and walk on by him towards the door like you don’t have a care in the world. Before you leave though, you turn around a flash Marcus a big smile. “Either way, ew, right? Well, see you tomorrow buddy! Gotta go! Enjoy I’m A Celebrity with your mum.” Then you’re gone.

Tomorrow is going to be a much better day, once that rumour is properly spread.

119 notes · View notes

flowerwrites06 · 3 years

Text

crying petals — pjm

Plot: Jimins’ roommate confesses to him.

Pairing(s): Jimin x OC (Name: Gaia)

Rating: G | PG | M | R 18+

Type: Drabble | Oneshot | Two Parter | Series

Word Count: 7k+

Genre: Roommate AU

Tags & Warnings: angst, suppressing feelings, explicit smut

Authors Note: forgot to repost this lol

Letting herself drown into a pool, throat suffocating with flowers and her mind swirling with uncontrollable jolts of need was never healthy. Even his scent as it lingered in the air, a strange mixture of cotton and vanilla began to haunt her in dreams as well in real life. It wasn’t healthy in the slightest.

Gaia tried to focus on her paintings, long hours spent staining her fingers and filling up canvas. All of them sketches of stupid plump lips and striking eyes that sucked you in. Lured you like a sailor to a siren. So she stopped painting people but then she made cotton plants, vanilla flowers and warm rays of sunshine gleaming down on them. A defeated sigh passed her lips, a curly tress escaping from her loose ponytail and hanging over her head.

“Pretty.” The raspy voice startled her for a moment but Gaia became far too good at hiding the way her heart jumped whenever he was near.

Jimin raked his fingers through his raven black hair and relaxed onto the couch next to her. “I like cotton flowers.” He leaned forward to take a closer look at the work.

“I know.” Gaia smiled faintly. Even as a metaphor, the painting looked so damn obvious.

“Is this my secret gift?”

She scoffed in a mocking tone. “Excuse me, this is for sale.”

Jimin parted his lips, feigning shock. “You’d make me pay for your artwork?”

Gaia hummed in response, a small cheeky glint in her eye. “Every cent.”

“That’s mean.”

“Tough luck, I need money.”

Jimin scoffed throwing his head back against the back of the couch with a wide grin unable to wipe off his face.

This was the most relaxed they ever were. In the rush of Gaia going to the gallery or Jimin rushing off to the agency, hardly any time saved up for them to just sit here in comfortable silence. Maybe this was a good time to tell him. Or the worst time ever if things went southward.

When was it ever a good time?

“Hey, Jimin?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Jimin turned his head a little but could only see half of her face so he simply admired the gorgeous curls tied in a ribbon behind her. “What is it?”

“Do—do you want to know the meaning of this painting?” Her stomach twisted, a confusing mix of excitement and anxiousness bubbling up inside her. Gaia wanted to turn back somehow. Change the meaning to make it lighthearted. But it was out now, her body and mind knew it. There was no turning back.

He sat up now keeping his eyes on the girl’s expression. “What’s the meaning?”

Her fingers hovered over the drying artwork, heart racing against her ribcages as she mulled over her words. “It’s us.”

“The flowers?”

“You like cotton flowers…I like vanilla flowers. It’s—us together under the sun.”

“That’s cute.” Jimin smiled down at the painting with a new found admiration.

Gaia stammered a little before attempting to give him a smile. God, why was this so hard?

“What’s wrong?” He tilted his head.

“I don’t know how to tell you.” She chuckled nervously. How was it still so nerve-wracking speaking to the man when he already knew so many of her other secrets? “The—the vanilla flower likes having cotton flower with it.”

“Right…”

Gaia sighed in defeat knowing the metaphors would stop making sense if she continued. “I like you, Jimin.”

Jimins’ expression softened, the smile fading into one more faint but true. “I like you too.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Her breathing grew ragged and shallow at this point, fingers trembling on her lap while her knees melted into jelly. Gaia wondered how much worse her body would react if she was looking right at him.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Her heart pounded so hard, she worried her ribs might crack.

“Uh—” Jimin scratched the back of his head. “How—how long?”

“I don’t know…” Gaia raised her shoulders a little, glancing at the painting again. “…a couple of years.”

“Coupl—” Jimin’s voice almost raised but he silenced himself quickly, resting back on the couch now. “…okay.” He lets out a deep breath. “Uhm…”

Silence drawled between them longer than Gaia could truly take. She shifted on the couch, desperately wanting to look over at the male and see what his reaction was but—she couldn’t move. It was like one of her dreams again. She just sat there and felt the cotton reach up to her neck, suffocating her until the girl smiled before drowning. But this felt different. Gaia didn’t feel like smiling, this was terrifying and her body kept burning.

Gaia finally looked over her shoulder and searched his expression. As she feared, it was so damn unreadable, she wanted to look back again but she stayed. And then she spoke. “Jimin?”

“Yeah…” Jimin whispered harshly, shaking his head. “No, yeah—I uh—…” He cleared his throat as he shifted to the edge of the couch. “I need to go for a minute, okay?”

Before Gaia took a breath to speak, he pushed himself off the couch and walked away to his bedroom. “O-okay.” She nodded mostly to herself.

Gaia expected a lot of things out of their last conversation. In a perfect world, maybe some acceptance but realistically she at least thought Jimin might just reject her gently. So what did she get in the next two weeks?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Jimin stopped talking to her. Every morning he would drape on his denim jacket and rush out of the apartment without giving her a sideways glance. At night, Gaia would hear him come in without calling her name out to ensure it was him and not a burglar. Sometimes she heard other voices trailing all the way into the bedroom, giggling and moaning.

A tight ball squeezed in the middle of her ribcages as she slept. Deep into her dreams again, body lying in a bed of cotton flowers as they travel down and choke her. A part of Gaia wanted to scream for help, lash out for some kind of help but in the end, she just happily drowned in the cotton flowers like it was a warm blanket.

It was no way to live but she did it anyway.

Another morning, Gaia woke up scratching her eyes lightly to keep herself awake. She noticed from the corner of her eye Jimin saying his goodbye to someone he had the night before. The middle of her ribcages ached again as he gave her one small glance before walking back to the bedroom.

She wasn’t a bad person for telling him, right? Did she make it sound terrifying by using her paintings? Did Jimin think she was some kind of psychotic artist desperately wanting his love?

The thoughts both scared and angered her.

Jimin had no right treating her in this manner when Gaia hadn’t demanded him to do anything. She just spewed her feelings to man she thought she could trust.

How long did he expect them to live in silence?

Another night fell and much to Gaia’s relief, Jimin walked into the apartment without anyone under his arm. She stood at the kitchen counter drinking some lavender tea to aid in some better dreams tonight.

“Jimin?”

He hummed briefly, pushing his shoes off without looking over at her.

“Can we talk…please?” Gaia attempted to keep her voice calm but there was a part of her that felt his behavior was uncalled for. Except she felt too selfish to say it out loud.

Jimin let out a deep almost exasperated sigh before walking to the kitchen island, still in his denim jacket, trying his best to look like he wasn’t in the mood to talk to her. “What did you want to talk about?”

Gaia let out a light scoff at the blank look in his eyes when he met her gaze. “Why’re you acting like this?”

“Acting like what?”

“Distant and…” Her eyes flickered up and down his body as if trying to find some kind of shift that indicated this was a farce. “…cold. I—I don’t know what I did wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, I just need some space.” Jimin answered plainly, barely even opening his mouth to speak as he shrugged off his jacket.

“I understand that but—could you at least say something about it?”

“About what?”

“Is there nothing you have to say after that day?” She shook her head.

“You said you had feelings for a couple of years.” Jimin shrugged, looking down at the cotton plants in a vase. “What do you want me to say to that?”

“It’s not what I want but how you feel about it.”

He scoffed immediately, bitter smile plastered on his face. “How I feel? Now you’re thinking about how I feel?”

“What—”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that before spewing all that crap about flowers, hm?” Jimin walked away from the kitchen island towards her.

“I-I didn’t know how else to explain it, I’m sorry.” Gaia placed the teacup on the counter behind her. It wasn’t going to do much good with how much her hands were shaking.

“No I’m sorry because it’s clear I’m the bad guy for not giving you some kind consolation because you like me.” His usual sweet demeanor twisted when he seethed right at her.

“Jimin, you don’t have—”

“No no you want me to say something, I am now.” Jimin stomped closer until he towered over her. “How’d you imagine it, huh? I’d get all soft and tell you I feel the same way? I’d hold you and tell you I’ve always felt that way? Hm?” Hands wrapped around her arms, squeezing a little.

Faces stood inches closer to one another, the smell of cotton thick in her nostrils almost making it hard to breathe as her eyes watered. “Jimin, let go…”

“No this is what you wanted, right?” He muttered, moving his hands and cupping both her cheeks to make her meet his gaze.

Before she tried to take another dry breath, she felt his lips press against her. The cotton scent stuck in her throat, suffocating her as it always does. But she wasn’t happy. His lips were unmoving, just pressing like a robot. Light sobs shook out of her as she pushed him away until he almost stumbled against the kitchen island with a small grunt.

“I just wanted you to reassure me! That we were still going to be friends!” Gaias’ shakily shrieked before a light cough passed through her. “That maybe it was normal for me to feel like this and I wasn’t insane but—” She closed her eyes, averting her gaze feeling a light ache on her lips. “You don’t even care as a friend, do you?” Gaia quickly wrapped her arms around herself, gripping onto her own skin to stop her hands from shaking. “I’m so stupid.”

Jimin felt his mind numbing as his actions rushed back to him like a slap on the face. A soft tinge under his palm and on his lips, fingers gripping at the edge of the kitchen island. This was all wrong. He made it all wrong. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he spoke. “Gaia…I’m—I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Something squeezed painfully inside his chest. “It does matter.”

“Stop—pretending to care.” She whispered. “I’m sorry I even brought it up.” Gaia rushed back to her bedroom leaving her lavender tea cold and forgotten.

For the first time, she dreamt of a burning cotton field.

A couple of mornings past and Gaia began to drown herself into coffee, drowning in the scent of beans to somehow mask the cotton. She sat at the dining table as the sun reflected brightly through the open curtains. One knee to her chest while she scrolled through apartment listings. Part of her thought it was far too dramatic to be leaving the house she grew so comfortable in but she also didn’t want have a thick sense of tension around her every time she was inside here.

Some of them looked decent, colours similar to this one which helped make it seem more homely. However the prices on the other hand did not speak the same welcoming tone. The rent for this apartment was high enough, having to split it with Jimin. The very reason why they opted to get a good one together.

In a way, it burned her with anger even more seeing that Gaia had to be slightly dependent on the man who she thought was her friend. She heard footsteps coming up behind her but immediately ignored putting the cup of coffee near her taking a sip.

“What’re you looking at?” Jimin asked in a somewhat friendly voice.

She hated it. Not even a week ago, he almost scared her with how bitter and angry he was now he wanted to be gentle. “Apartment listings.” Gaia replied simply.

He left a small silence between them before speaking again. “Why?”

“It’s getting stuffy in here.”

“Then open a window.”

Gaia glared over her shoulder. “Did you need something?”

“I was just making conversation.” Jimin mumbled, playing with his fingers a little.

“Make it with someone else.”

“Come on, Gaia…”

“What?”

Jimin finally moved closer and sat on the chair near her, trying to search her expression but he was only reminded the hard way of how Gaia used to lock herself in the bedroom for days on end whenever she had a bad fight with a past boyfriend or a family member. This time he was the direct source. “How long are you planning on being mad at me?”

“For making me feel like an idiot and kissing me out of spite?” Gaia smiled with a bitter glint in her eye. “I don’t know, Jimin, you tell me. You like assuming what I think.”

Jimin pressed his lips together, averting his gaze. “I said I was sorry.”

“That doesn’t change anything.”

“And getting another apartment will?” His brows furrowed.

Gaia traced her finger on the brim of the coffee cup. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t have enough money to buy an apartment so you’re stuck with me until I manage to save up.” Her phone lit up for a moment to show a name. A name that made her lips twitch for some reason when she glanced at it.

He knew it was wrong. Very wrong. But Jimin still peeked a little at the name and managed to see ‘Seokjin Chur..’ before it faded into black again. He felt a squeeze under his ribs again causing him to sigh. “I—I don’t want you to leave.”

“That’s not your decision to make.” She brought the cup to her lips taking a full sip. The cotton was too strong when he was close, seeping through even the strong scent of coffee. It shouldn’t be this strong.

“You love this apartment, Gaia.” Jimin glanced around them. He remembered how much her face lit up when they first started decorating everything to make it look like home. Their home.

Gaia swallowed down the growing lump in her throat, trying to get more of the coffee scent into her nostrils. “I don’t love it that much anymore.”

“Why not?”

“It smells like you.” She suppressed the wince attempting to twist her features.

“Wh—”

“It smells like you and it—it makes me sad.” Sucking in her bottom lip, she forced herself not to look over at him. Why was it so easy to be vulnerable around him? To crack and tell him everything that’s bothering her. Even when he was causing this. Gaia huffed out a harsh breath, closing her laptop and walking back to her bedroom with her coffee in hand.

Jimin took a breath to call out her name again but the words hitched in his blocked throat. ‘It makes me sad.’ He rubbed over his exhausted face, letting out a shaking breath. The usually light squeeze in his chest now clenching so tight, it was agonizing. How helpless it felt not being able to reach inside him and soothe the ache. There was nothing he could do but breathe and tolerate it.

The table buzzed again and Jimin properly looked down at the lit up phone.

Seokjin Church

Hope you liked the flowers. I’ll see you tonight!

Jimin realized that night how sweet vanilla smelled when his heart was in excruciating pain.

The world was cruel in many forms but the worst form of all was waking up in the morning and still feeling her lips linger on his own. Jimin found himself touching his twin flesh from time to time, some confused part of his mind wanting to hold onto the memory. Despite the flooding texts on his phone, he opted to stop bringing any new visitors to the apartment.

Every time he sat alone in the living room, he tried to take the remnants of vanilla lingering in the air. Jimin watched Gaia come in and out of the apartment quietly. She started painting in her bedroom more which he knew she hated. Their bedrooms were too closed off and small to jog much inspiration.

She would leave for events Jimin hadn’t even heard about. He always assumed it was with that Seokjin popping up on her phone. He remembered a time he would always know what events Gaia went to months beforehand.

This was wrong. This was so wrong.

He couldn’t. If he even mentioned the idea that he started liking vanilla flowers a little too much, Gaia would have his head.

So Jimin stayed silent and just watched her, relished in the fading tingle on his lips and tried to take in the scent of vanilla radiating from her to calm him. He would even stop using the cotton scent on himself. It smells like you and it makes me sad.

Jimin took angry, disappointed, even downright hysterical but this? How do you soothe sadness when it’s already so mellow and delicate?

One night, vanilla flowers burst throughout the apartment. He selfishly took in the thick scent wafting from her bedroom, letting it stain his lungs somehow.

Eyes flickered over to her room, the door opened completely with Gaia looking into her vanity mirror, back facing him. Body adorning a pink fur coat up to her waist with a light denim skirt. Her long curls reaching below the coat. If Jimin looked a little closer, he noticed tiny sparkles on her tresses.

“Where’re you going?” Jimin asked, breaking the comfortable silence with a soft tone.

“Out.”

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know.” Gaia mumbled keeping her gaze on the mirror instead of the male as she fixed up her hair.

That annoying squeeze in between his chest came back again.

Jimin walked a bit further inside, peaking at her reflection. Her skin glowed in the lights around the frame of the mirror, eyes shimmering like her hair but not a smile in sight. A layer of beauty to hide what was crumbling inside. “You could at least tell me where you’re going…just in case.”

She sighed. “Just in case what?”

“Something happens.”

“I’m not going alone.” Gaia muttered simply grabbing her purse, turning on her heel before walking past him.

As soon as she passed, a strong waft of vanilla touched him forcing him to breathe it in until he lost all the air in his lungs. All of it replaced with the beautiful flower lingering around her aura. Jimin closed his eyes for a moment. “Gaia…”

“What?” Gaia asked in such a gentle tone, stopping at the door as she turned to meet his gaze.

He noticed how glazed they became, the way she gripped onto her clutch. Jimin let out a sigh of defeat. She didn’t want to talk to him. ‘It makes me sad’. “Be safe, okay?” He attempted to smile.

Gaia nodded. “Good night.” She whispered before finally leaving the room while Jimin helplessly drowned in her lingering scent.

Sleep didn’t come easy that night, tossing and turning on the soft surface. Vanilla thick in his nostrils overwhelming him with thoughts. That stupid squeeze in between his ribcages. Every nerve in his body desperately wanted to turn back time. Maybe if he closed his eyes really tight, he would wake up from a dream and they were on good terms again. Nothing happened. Jimin still lay here in the darkness feeling heat curdle in his belly.

His heart jumped when the door opened to a man laughing lightly and a light shush followed afterwards.

Huffing, Jimin pushed himself off the bed and walked out of his room. The rushing cool air from the living room hitting his bare torso. Exhausted eyes flickered over to kitchen where he saw Gaia without her fur coat on, a thin strip pink crop top showing while she filled up a glass of water from the sink.

“It’s really cold here.” The man in a suit, white shirt unbuttoned, the skin on his ears and neck reddened while his stretched pillowy lips extremely flushed.

“It’ll help.” Gaia had a calm voice, giving the male tired smile as she handed him the glass of water.

“Ooh is that from me?” Raspy words echoed against the glass as the man reached out brushing away her hair to show off the small reddened marks on her neck. “Sorry…”

She let out a light sigh before giving him another faint smile. “It’s okay.”

Jimin tightened his jaw, fingers curling into his palm. “Have fun?” He almost seethed.

Gaia looked over her shoulder, smile immediately disappearing when she saw the man shooting daggers at Seokjin .

“Oh…” The man attempted get back to his feet.

“Seokjin —” She muttered but he was already walking over to Jimin with a grin, holding his hand out.

“Seokjin Chur—” Hiccup. “—urch. Nice to meet you.”

Jimin glanced down at his hand. All the places he could have traced with those fingers in a drunken frenzy, relished in her soft skin and marking the most sensitive spots. He tried to push down the grimace forming on his face. “Nice to meet you.”

“Forgive me, I don’t—I don’t always drink like this.” Seokjin chuckled nervously.

“He won his biggest case today.” Gaia spoke up, a small smile returning on her lips.

“So you two—know each other?” He wanted to pretend they were a one-time thing on a night of mistakes but Jimin noticed how much she tried not to smile at her phone.

“We met, what?” Seokjin whips around to Gaia for a few moments. “Two weeks ago? She was painting this gorgeous forest while I was on lunch break.” He slurred every word with such dedication, Jimin had to dig his nails into his palms further.

So that’s what she was doing all this time. Painting and spending time with an almost complete stranger. “Wonderful.” Jimin smiled sarcastically knowing Seokjin wouldn’t remember his behavior in the slightest. “I’m afraid we do have rules not to bring in visitors.”

“You’ve brought in enough visitors for me to know that rule is breakable.” Gaia folded her arms over her chest.

It was anger now burning in her beautiful eyes and Jimin couldn’t help but relish in it a little. Despite the little clench in his chest. He did bring a lot of visitors. Some of them didn’t even bother holding their noise. Now he knew she heard them all night, noticed them leave every morning.

“Besides…” Gaia walked forward and kept a gentle hand on the mans’ back to keep him from stumbling. “…we’re not dating.”

“Right—” Seokjin hummed.

“You give all your female friends hickeys?”

“Jimin.” Gaia warned but Seokjin merely chuckled waving the comment off.

“It’s alright. I’m sure two consenting adults are allowed to have a little fun, yes?”

Jimin hummed, the grimace a little too obvious on his face now.

“We should go to bed. I’m tired.” Gaia grabbed her coat and gently guided Seokjin into her bedroom not without giving a quick glare towards Jimin.

Jimin didn’t care though. He would take burning under her fiery gaze. Fire was harsh and wild. Easier to soothe.

Somewhere deep in the night, Gaia walked out of the bedroom, running her fingers through her messy hair while holding onto the plastic bag.

Jimin opted not to sleep much and just leaned back on the kitchen counter drinking some water. It was difficult trying to lull himself back when he could hear Seokjin humming and kissing on the other side.

He wondered how Gaia tolerated it when it was the other way around. When he would have girls making all kinds of noises unaware of another person in the apartment. She never complained for so long. Only once tonight when she officially had enough.

With a light grimace, Gaia opened the cupboard next to Jimin and threw the filled plastic bag inside with a soft metal clang.

“So you haven’t fucked?”

Gaia let out a loud sigh, clearly showing her annoyance.

“Didn’t hear much noise.”

“He’s drunk.”

“That didn’t exactly stop him leeching on your neck.” Jimin seethed taking a generous sip as he glared into Gaia’s closed bedroom door.

“Please stop.” She muttered under her breath.

He shrugged nonchalantly despite the heat in his belly bubbling up to a boil watching that door. “I’m just wondering why you didn’t go all out if you were getting back at me.”

Gaia scoffed. “You think that’s what this is?”

“What else can it be?”

“He’s a friend. I—like spending time with him.” She tried to keep her voice low, opening the tap to wash her hands. “I needed to see some people that didn’t make me feel like an idiot.”

“I never wanted to make you feel like an idiot.”

“Well you did. So stop judging someone who actually likes me.”

“So you are mad at me still.”

“Yes I’m mad!” It was a whisper but harsh and cut through the tension like a knife. “And not because you didn’t like me back…” She shook her head. “…because the one time I needed you as a friend at least, you walked away from me.” Gaia winced, tightly pressing her trembling lips together. “You ignored me and brought in girls, you knew—you knew I could hear them.” She closed her eyes.

Jimins’ expression softened as he took a few steps forward, inhaling another fresh waft of vanilla into his lungs.

“I always thought I could tell you everything but the moment I become vulnerable to you…you shut me out.”

“Then tell me you hate me.”

Her brows furrowed, glazed and reddened eyes flickering up to look at him. “What?”

“Tell me…” Jimin padded closer causing Gaia’s breath to lightly hitch in her throat. Their toes brushing against each other, noses just a breath apart. “…you hate me.”

Gaia shook her head lowering her gaze. “No.” It came out in a whisper with how close they stood.

“Tell me you hate me.” His head felt heavy, lungs flooding in vanilla flowers but he kept breathing in more. Selfish to take what soothed him.

“I won’t.” She fixated her eyes on his chest rising and falling deeply. The cotton smell was so subtle, so light but Gaia could still sense remnants of it on his skin.

Jimin closed his eyes forcing the scent to overwhelm him completely as he felt his nose brush against her forehead lightly. “Please…”

“I said I won’t!” Another harsh whisper almost crackling into a shout and booming across the room. But her soft sobbing broke the sound immediately back to its meek tone, tears burning in her eyes and flooding to the brim.

“Why not?!” Jimin couldn’t hold his trembling hands back when he held onto her neck, gently. Fingers caressed her curls, feeling the soft textures under his palms. More selfish actions.

Gaia raised her head this time, droplets trickling down the corner of her eyes as their noses brushed. The heat from his palms radiating onto her skin making her head spin. “Why do you want me to?” She whispered.

“Because—because if you hate me…it’s easier.” How absolutely selfish. “Maybe this—this thing in my chest would hurt less if you despised me.” Every words, Jimins’ anger melted into something of desperation as the pain in chest pulsed, aching and yearning to touch her more. “Maybe if you fucking ruin me, I’d stop thinking about you.”

Her eyes stung but she still opened to watch his twisted features. “I don’t hate you.”

Jimin winced, fingers digging into the skin of her neck. “Don’t do that.” It felt too good. It’s selfish. It’s so damn selfish.

“I don’t.”

“Just lie to me.” He whispered, pressing his burning forehead against hers. “Make the hurt stop.”

“I’m not going to lie to you.” She shook her head.

Jimin took in a sharp inhale, the vanilla choking him right at his throat, staining him inside and out. “Do you like seeing me get hurt?”

“I c—I can’t hate you.” Gaia’s expression finally contorted, sobs shaking out of her. “It’s—I’ve tried…” She gripped onto his forearm when his grasp on her skin tightened. So much of this felt like a dream in the haze of tears and chest pain. But when she felt the warmth of his skin under her palm, it was real. She knew this was real. “It’s so hard, Jimin…” Gaia sniffled. “Y-You make me—too h-happy…”

For a moment, the squeeze snapped and burst. Fluttering like butterflies happily flying around flowers after being stuck in their cocoon for so long. All it took were those simple words. Uttering in the moment of pure weakness and vulnerability. It felt liberating. “I—I make you happy?”

She now knew what the burning cotton fields meant. The cotton was almost revived like a phoenix in the fire into something more alive, more invigorating. Gaia felt it as she placed a palm over his chest, feeling how joyfully rapid his heartbeat was.

The corners of her lips curled up faintly. “So happy.” She nodded.

As the butterflies soared across his chest to his belly, Jimin moved his hands down her hips and moved her to lean against the counter. Their noses barely brushing against each other. All he had to do was take one more whiff of vanilla before he leaned and devoured her soft lips.

A whimper drowned in the kiss, hands coming up and pulling at his hair. Gaia’s knees melted back into its jelly form forcing her to pressed on the counter edge to keep herself from stumbling. As if sensing her movements, Jimins’ grip on her hips tightened as he lifted her off the floor and placed her gently on the counter. Slip dress riding up her thighs, bare skin forming a layer of goosebumps against the cool surface.

Tongue pushed through her teeth desperate to explore more of her mouth as if this was a dream and he might wake up at any moment. Jimin wanted to take. Every inch as his fingers moved up from her hips to the curve of her breasts. He needed memories of her skin to stain his palm for as long as possible. Fingers rubbed down her arms before reaching those soft fingers, interlocking them together.

Gaia breathed through her nose, unable to pull away from the kiss. She wanted his warmth to fill her lungs as they gave themselves away to each other. A tingle formed in her belly as their fingers twined so perfectly they were almost meant to be one. For the first time, Gaia didn’t feel like drowning. She was flying. Soaring across the skies while the sun beamed down on her. So warm.

Jimin pushed their joined hands above her head, pressing them against the overhead cupboard before taking her other hand and gripping both her wrists on the wood. He broke the kiss softly, still planting small pecks on her flushed lips. Hand wrapped firmly on both of hers, his free fingers traced down her body again, sneaking under her slip dress and palming over her heated panties.

A light gasp stopped in her throat forcing her to close her eyes, relishing in how slow and featherlight Jimin brushed his hand across her core. “Jimin…” Chest rose and fell letting her body loosen under his touch. Still so softly rubbing the thin clothing feeling her arousal soak through and her growing nub poke out in yearning.

He could watch her all night just moving like this. Achingly slow, admiring how Gaia squirmed and tried not to moan too loud but the heat radiated so strongly from her. Jimin could feel the slight burn hitting his palm. Nudging his nose against her cheek, he took another whiff, humming in delight when he caught the mixture of vanilla and arousal. “You smell so good.” Jimin mumbled, intoxicated in the thick scent as he dipped down to nuzzle against her neck. “Always smell so good.”

Gaia wanted to speak. She took a few breaths to form words but they always died on her tongue, instead spewing meek noises of desperation. So many she wanted. So many things she wanted him to do to her but they never formed. “J-Ji-I-I want..” She whined a little. Everything burned to the point where her core ached and clenched around nothing. It was so hot. Too hot. She wanted more.

“What do you want?” Jimin whispered, tongue darting out to lick across her jawline before kissing each spot again. His fingers still in the same drawling pace rubbing up and down her sodden clothing.

Another whimper choked out of her, spreading her legs further as she pushed her hips forward to catch more friction. “Y-You…I w-I want you...”

The corners of his lips curled up lazily, sweat thinly layering on his skin leaving in more of a drunken state as he relished in the beauty’s pleads. “You have me.”

Gaia whined again causing Jimin to smirk wider. Beautiful features contorted again feeling his fingers press a little harder against the erect nub, her lower belly burning with need. “I-I want m-more of you..”

Jimins’ breathing raced as much as his heart through his ribcages. His fingers paused for a moment enjoying Gaia squirm a little more while her hips reached for his hand again. Releasing both her arms, he sneaked under her slip dress again further until he hooked at the hem of her panties. Pulling down the ruined clothing he made sure to be slow, watching how it stuck to her juices before reluctantly detaching as it he pushed down to her ankles. Carefully he brought her legs up so they rested a little over his shoulders.

She gripped her hands at the edge of the counter watching him pull off her panties from her ankle and trace down her leg. Jimin held it over her core before rubbing the loose clothing up and down her core. Body jerked, gasps leaving her without her control as her walls clenched painfully around nothing.

Jimin felt his member stir angrily in his sweatpants, the mixture of vanilla and her sweet arousal swirling in the heated air almost making him moan. Dropping the panties on the floor, he turned his head, placing soft kisses on her ankle, across her leg to the delicate skin of her inner thigh. He couldn’t resist biting down gently with a light growl under his breath.

Gaia giggled softly bringing one of her hands out to bury in his hair. Darkening eyes watched him move closer until his reddened lips hovered over her core making him gulp. His sharp gaze flickered up to meet hers, almost unblinking as he leaned down and took her throbbing bundle between his lips. Features contorted, trembling breaths leaving her every second. She tried her best to keep her voice down, the coiling heat in her lower belly melting into more leaking arousal.

Her scent overwhelmed him completely, arms hooked under her thighs. Darting out his tongue, Jimin licked up her slit drinking in every drop of her, moaning in delight when it was the only thing he could taste now. Lips wrapped around her clit again suckling and shaking his head with a groan vibrating against her core.

Throwing her head back Gaia bit down her bottom lip to suppress a louder moan curdling in her throat. Light whines still managed to escape as her hips grinded against his mouth. He didn’t stop her though. He merely moaned in response, tongue lapping on her clit causing the coil to tighten.

One arm away from her thigh, Jimin swirled his fingers to drench the skin with her juices before teasing at her entrance. Two digits slowly pushing into her, walls so snug and warm. Lust blown eyes watched his skin glisten brightly as they slowly moved in and out before looking up at the beauty. Her hand pressed over her mouth, brows furrowed and choked moans emitting under her breath. He wished they were in a more comfortable place but the walls were too thin. And Jimin had no intentions of being disturbed while he gave Gaia everything she needed and deserved.

Standing back up with his fingers still knuckle deep inside her, he felt a slight ache between his legs feeling the front of his pants a little drenched. Jimin leaned in and absentmindedly rubbed his crotch against her thigh, nose nudging her cheek again. “I want you…” He whispered in her ear, nibbling on her earlobe gently.

His movements were still so careful, taking his time to search for that rough spot inside her before moving at a steady pace. The heat was overwhelming, coil ready to loosen at any moment as Jimin kept jabbing at that same spot over and over again. “Take me.” Gaia breathed out, peering at him through hooded lids. “Take me, please.” She reached out to caress his cheek, the skin so warm to the touch.

Jimin let out a pleased sigh feeling his member twitch in his pants. He released his fingers and messily pushed down his sweatpants along with his boxers so they dropped down to his ankles. Kicking them to the side, he canceled out any distance between them feeling a sense of comfort when Gaia placed on his cheek again. Her touch was so soft he could melt right there then. Fingers wrapped around the base of his length before prodding at her sodden entrance. He turned his head and kissed the inside of her palm, raising his drenched hand and placing it at her lips.

Gaia didn’t even blink before opening her mouth and taking his warm, wet fingers, suckling on her arousal. Then she felt him sinking into her ever so slowly making sure she could feel every second of her walls stretching, hugging him tight around his sensitive shaft. His fingers helped in concealing the loud moan almost flowing out of her.

“So good..” Jimin whispered watching her suckle on his skin with such dedication. “You’re doing so well, baby.” He pushed in further until their bellies pressed against each other, member completely swallowed by her heat.

She replied with a faint whimper under her breath, body succumbed to him as his entire length filled her up. Gaia gently pressed a heel against his back as a way to tell him it was okay to move. Only mere seconds had to pass for Jimin to start thrusting into her.

Pulling his fingers away he yanked at the sleeves of her slip dress letting her breasts go free before swirling around her nipple. Jimin moved deep, thrusting in until she was completely filled and moving out until only his tip was inside.

Gaia gripped onto the edges of the counter again, shivering a little wet touch against her nipples erecting them instantly. She threw her head back with a shaky breath. “Feels s-so good..” Hair matted to her temples as her mind lost all form of control, nothing but the pleasure coiling in her belly and the tingles under her skin from his touch swirled.

“Yeah?” He smirked against her lips before pressing a kiss, lips moved so sloppily against each other in their maddening rush of ecstasy. Jimin placed both hands on the counter to steady himself, jolting his thrusts faster until they could hear light skin slapping.

The force of his hips snapping into hers almost forced a choked scream but Gaia quickly nuzzled her lips into his shoulder. She trailed up his neck, moaning lightly in his ear. “H-harder—” It didn’t take even a few seconds wait before Jimin grew vicious with his thrusts, deep inside her, brushing against the sweet spot that made her head spin.

Jimin quickly bit down his bottom lip to stop his groan from echoing across the room. Hips snapping so hard, he felt more of her arousal trickle down his length making it so easy to just take more and more. The tightness in his lower belly grew stubborn and thick, rushing up to his tip.

Gaia whimpered staring down at how deep he was, only sliding out the tiniest bit before snapping in again. Over and over again, relentless but so giving. “Jimin I’m—” The coil sprung, her thighs shaking and almost shutting but interrupted by his moving hips while she leaned her head against his chest, letting out the smallest whimpers.

Just feeling how much her walls pulsed and clenched so tight around him, her release so incredibly sodden and warm caused a burst. Shaky breathing faded into light, tense moans as he wrapped his arms around her waists, hips jerking as he filled her up.

She let out a light, shaky moan feeling beautifully full of his warm release. Gaia pulled away a little to capture his lips again into bliss infused kiss. She could feel his fingers take through her slightly damp hair, tongue exploring her mouth again still with such enthusiasm despite their loss of breath and energy.

“Don’t ever leave me.” Jimin muttered into the kiss. “Please.”

“I won’t.” Gaia nudged her nose against his, eyes completely glossy but a smile clear on her face. “Never, I promise.”

“So Namjoon just called…” Seokjin raised his phone briefly with a faint, exhausted smile on his face as he came into the kitchen. “He’s waiting outside to pick me up.” The man was really good at looking the least hungover as possible since he seemed like he was fresh and ready to go to work. Despite his suit being the one he wore last night.

Gaia grinned before nodding, her mood so much brighter despite the slight tiredness she felt on her legs. A comfortable blue oversized sweater with some leggings to work at home for the rest of the day. Now that the apartment had a more than happy atmosphere, she could work in the living room like she always loved. “Do you want me to walk you?”

Jimin peered from his coffee cup standing on the other side of the counter facing Gaia.

“No it’s okay.” Seokjin shook his head holding his hand up. “I’ve troubled you enough.”

“Oh it was no trouble.”

“We love having guests over.” Jimin spoke up this time with a smirk plastered on his face.

Gaia sucked in her bottom lip for a moment to prevent the wide grin trying to stretch across her lips. “I had a good time, seriously. It wouldn’t have been safe to leave you alone that drunk anyway.”

Seokjin let out a light chuckle. “Thank you.”

The girl led him towards the door giving their final goodbyes until Seokjin took a breath to speak again much in a much lower tone.

“Sorry to ask but—did we—” He pointed at himself then her.

Her brows furrowed for a moment before her eyes widened a little in recognition. “Oh—” Gaia giggled lightly. “No, you—you kinda just threw up in my trash bag and fell asleep.” She noticed the older males’ ears turn a little red at the information. “It’s alright though, drunk men can be worse than that.”

Seokjin hummed before nodding profusely. It almost looked kind of adorable. “Just I could’ve sworn I heard you moaning…” He shrugged. “Must’ve been a dream.”

“Yeah, must’ve…” Gaia gulped unable to control how much her cheeks burned.

“I’ll see you later then, okay?”

Gaia chuckled a little nervously. “See you.” She slowly closed the door, giving one last smile to the older male before shutting it completely.

“I told you. You’re louder.” Jimins’ musing voice broke the momentary silence.

“Shut up.” She pouted walking back over to the counter and taking another quick sip of her lavender tea.

Jimin leaned forward, elbows resting against the counter. “So…no more guests over from now on, right?”

Gaia smiled, dipping down and pressing a quick kiss on his lips. “No more guests.” She traced her fingers across his cheek. “And you promise me one thing.”

“Anything.” He leaned into her touch.

“Start wearing that cotton scent again.”

Jimin chuckled. “Every day, I promise.”

Cotton fields and vanilla flowers bloomed under the sunlight again.

#jimin #thebtswritersclub #jimin imagines #bts imagines #jimin fanfic #bts fanfic #jimin fanfiction #bts fanfiction #jimin angst #bts angst #jimin smut #bts smut #roommate au #bts roommate au

70 notes · View notes

abluescarfonwaston · 4 years

Text

The wolves all go out of there way to bring home a few books every winter. Just whatever they can find and fit in their bags. They won't ever be able to replace the library they lost during the sacking but the slowly growing collection does give then something else to do during the long winter nights.

It also becomes a bit of a competition- as it always does between them - to bring the best book, the book with the most interesting story of how they acquired it, and the most Valuable book (the definition of which changes every year).

Lambert makes it his goal every year to bring the most indecent romance novels he can. I'm talking novels labeled Erotic. I'm talking Porn with just enough plot to get published. Sometimes the others will try to one up him by bringing something even steamier. No one has ever beaten Lambert though.

Much to Vesemir horror the new library is a majority erotic novels (which they do try to hide from Ciri when she arrives).

One year Lambert brings home a story about a wandering knight and his faithful squire. He likes to read excepts to the wolves to get back at them for insulting his cooking, ripping the fancy blanket he won last year, beating him at qwent. Any opportunity really.

And the first few chapters are them going to brothels and wooing ladies. the standard stuff.

But then. Then they start sharing beds and brothels and the other partners just. fall away and they're Only with each other.

Lambert LOVES reading this to Geralt especially cause it can Actually make Geralt blush and run from the room. He's NEVER managed that with Geralt. Fuck YEAH.

And Geralts Dying. Because he recognized the prose during the First Chapter. and the pen name the writer used.

Dandelion.

Jaskier had written a gay romance novel about the two of them. Chocked full of the squires effusive praise for the ‘knight’.

And then one day Lambert stops reading it. Seems even shorter than normal with everyone.

"Lambert you wanna stop being a prick and read your dumb gay romance novel to us? Promise to only throw food at you this time." Eskel said.

"No. that was a shitty Fucking book and I hate it."

"Oh did the gays die again? Lambert you know they won't get published if they have a happy ending. Just rip the last pages out like always."

"No! The knight went and rode off into he Fucking sunset with that damn princess! Left the squire behind without a Fucking word!!!! I hate that Fucking knight and wanna rip his Fucking dick off!"

"Oh. Huh. Well they didn't die for once. happy ending."

"It's not a happy ending Eskel how -

"The knight and the princess were Fated to be together Lambert! all the foreshadowing was there!"

"The princess treated him like a moron! The squire Actually knew him and cared about him!"

"The squire caused him nothing but problems Lambert! Of Course he went with the princess who loved him and could give him the peaceful life he craved! Not every damn bi man has to end up with the guy Lambert!"

Eskel and Lambert continued their Screaming match. Vesemir appear to be regretting his every life decision. Ciri popped in the earplugs and continued reading her book. Geralt stared into his ale, frozen.

"What happens to the squire Lambert?" Geralt asked his drink quietly.

"THATS THE WORST PART. HE SMILES AND SENDS THEM OFF. LIKE HE ALWAYS KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN AND WAS HAPPY FOR THEM. AND YOU CAN JUST TELL HOW HEARTBROKEN THE MOTHERFUCKER IS AND WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY WITH THAT."

"This is why we told you not to bring gay novels Lambert. You always get upset with how they end."

"It's not Fucking fair."

Geralt’s chair screeches against the stone as he stands up - an oddity since they all Hate that noise and actively avoid making it.

"Where are you going?" Eskel questioned as he stroad to the door.

"I need to talk to Jaskier."

"And how do you intend to do that? Gonna ride down the mountain in a Fucking blizzard Geralt?"

"I." The door slammed closed behind him.

"Should." Ciri started. "One of us check on him?"

"No." They all said in unison.

(They did all at some point check on him)

Ciri was first. with a timid and then assertive knock on his door before she entered. Crawling into his arms and burrowing into his chest.

"We can go find him as soon as the snow melts. Okay?"

"I don't think he'd be very excited to see me." He mourned tucking her closer and burying his nose in her hair.

"It's Jaskier." She said simply about a man she only knew from their stories. "He's always excited to see you."

"You going to Brood all winter or do you actually want to figure out how to apologize wolf?" Eskel asked dragging him to the courtyard for a spar.

"There's nothing I can do. He'll never forgive me."

"Oh like he'd Never forgive you for the Djinn? Or for ripping his favorite doublet? Or telling him his singing sucked?" Eskel landed a hard jab. "And what happened every one of those times he'd Never forgive you?"

"That's different." He said returning the blow.

"Uh huh. Guess we'd better make sure you've got a damn good apology ready then?" Eskel smiled easily like he knew the punchline to a very funny joke. "Tell me what happened."

So he did.

Vesemir eased into the spring water across from him with a groan. He wondered how long he had before Vesemir started making fun of how long he spent in the bath again. Longer than if it was Eskel or Lambert at least.

They sat there and a question curdled in his belly until it forced its way out.

"How are we supposed to not get attached?"

"I think we're well past that point lad."

"But How? I can't. All these years and I still can't." He buried his head in his hands so he couldn't see how he'd failed Vesemir yet again.

"If I knew I'd tell you Geralt." Vesemir said, exhausted.

He glanced up and was Viscerally reminded how much Vesemir had lost over the long centuries of his life.

How he'd seen the school founded and fall. How he'd known every child who'd walked these halls and died in them.

How he knew exactly how many had died in the raid.

He remembered how Vesemir had fallen to pieces when the last Witcher he'd ever teach, Leo, had died.

And he remembered how Vesemir put himself back together for them.

"I can't. I can't Vesemir." If Ciri or Eksel or Lambert or Vesemir or Jaskier died. "I'm not as strong as you. I Can't."

"You will. You are." Vesemir squeezed his shoulder as he stood. "Make it worth the loss Geralt."

He sunk into the hot water and wondered how it could be.

He was half asleep when the door Slammed open and only had half a second before Lambert was cannon-balling into his chest.

"FIXED IT!"

He breathed through the pain. "Fix my ribs ass."

"You're fine whiny old man." Lambert shoved a book under his nose. the scent of barely dried ink filling his nostrils. "Read it!"

"Just tell me what happened. I'm not reading your handwriting in the dark." He said shoving it back.

"It's better than yours!" It wasn't. "The knight gets his head out of his ass and tells the squire he loves him and they go on countless more adventures." he puffed up proudly.

"And the princess? what happens to her?"

Lambert scowled at him. "Who gives a fuck about the princess?"

‘I do.’ He thought. "The knight does." He said.

"Ugh. uh. she meets another princess and they go ride off into there own sunset. okay? Happy you ungrateful prick?"

He smiled in a way that made Lambert gag. "I think that's a much better ending Lambert."

"Of course it is!" He preened from atop Geralt. Toes digging into his abdomen painfully.

"Now get out of my room or I'll throw you into the snow bank Lambert."

Lambert tried to call him on the threat so he made to make good on it. Lambert dashed from the room with a crass gesture.

That did sound like a better ending. He gripped his medallion and hoped that in the spring they'd get that ending.

An ending that lead into a very very happy beginning of something new.

766 notes · View notes

justreadingfics · 4 years

Text

It’s a Deal (Chapter 4)

Chapter Summary: You have a challenge for Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.1k

Warnings:+18 only, smut, masturbation, boytoy!Bucky, casual sex, open relationship, unrealistic sexual performance, the tiniest bit of angst related to past relationships.

A/N: Next chapters we’ll move forward with the plot and it will be less smut centric, maybe… I can’t promise anything, actually, lol. I dedicate this chapter to @suz-123, who’s a Rockstar and to @tilltheendwilliwrite who once wrote chapter 10 of Canadian Girl (if you haven’t read it, yet, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life) and this chapter is heavily inspired on a certain aspect of it, with a small twist. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated. Tag list for this story is closed.

The sight meeting your gaze as soon as you step out of your bathroom is one to behold. There is the man himself, laying sprawled and careless across your bed, unashamedly naked while nonchalantly scrolling through his phone, like he hasn’t just now done unspeakable things to you right there.

You take in a contented sigh. How lucky are you to have found a fuck buddy like Bucky? Incredibly hot and handsome, with all those uncountable muscles on his whole body and the most gorgeous face you’ve ever seen. He’s breathtaking to look at and to feel in each sensitive part of your body.

But it’s not just that, that you’re lucky for. His damn personality… So uncomplicated, laid back, straightforwardly honest and, even in all his blatant whoriness, more considerate towards women than any man you’ve ever known, Eddie included. You know about his tragic backstory and you can only wonder the path he had to take to get where he is now.

Apart from the amazing fuck, it’s been so fun to get to spend time with him and get to know the way he thinks, his life philosophy. You’ve found out that relationships don’t have to be complicated, that you don’t need to love or date someone to have a nice time together and that fun and respect can walk hand in hand. Also, something you didn’t know about yourself: that you can be fun and laid back, too.

You can tell Bucky enjoys spending time with you as much as you do with him, you know he’s not faking. The only reason he would have to fake in that situation would be to get you in his bed and he wouldn’t have to, since you got into that deal just exactly for that. Also, he’s too transparent, he has been from the beginning. And with him, you’ve become a fun person in these last few days… or maybe that’s who you were all along and just didn’t know.

“Enjoying the view, sweetheart?”

In your gawking, you haven’t noticed his cell phone now laying forgotten on the mattress beside him as he tilts his body to the side, facing you, and supports his head on his hand, with that signature smirk of his, completely unbothered by how exposed he is.

In fact, so are you, as you smile and walk back to your bed in all your nakedness, “And what a damn view,” you cheekily say, laying in front of him and mimicking his position. You can’t help but reach over and trace your fingers over the hard muscles of his flesh arm and ripped chest, “I’ve never seen so many muscles gathered in only one person,” you add, completely serious with your admiration.

He chuckles, “Well, that thing they injected in me helped a lot.”

You don’t have to ask who they are. Every once in a while he mentions his past but it’s always quick and with no sign of heaviness. It does feel like you’ve met him in a new and brighter stage of his life. Your eyes, which have been following the path traced by your fingers, drop to his lower body. Like it usually happens right after you had sex or between the sexy sessions, he’s not as hard as you know he can get, but he’s definitely not completely soft. You’ve been nurturing that curiosity for a while and now you see the opening to bring it up.

“You know, I’ve been wondering,” you start, a little timid and avoiding his eyes, “Did the serum help with… ahm, other things, too?” You glance at him before letting your eyes drop to that particular part of his body, hoping you’ve made yourself clear.

“What do you mean?”

When you look back at him the confusion on his face is poorly feigned and you know he’s messing with you.

“You just want me to say it, don’t you?” You squint your eyes, pulling back your wandering hands from his beefy body, and when he only keeps the faked expression on his face and shrugs, you decide to play along and blurt out, punctuating each word, “Your cock, your fucking marvelous and precious huge cock, Bucky. That’s what I mean.”

You can’t help but grin widely as he lets out a belly laugh, his head falling backwards on the mattress before he comes back to the position on his side facing you with a satisfied and teasing smile on him.

“I’ll tell you what, it didn’t mess up with the size, sweetheart. That’s all good old human biology there, no evil super juice needed.” He bites his lower lip and winks, making you roll your eyes playfully, “But, like you know, I’m always honest and I’m not gonna lie to you. It did pump me up with the…” he pouts and squeezes his eyes, as if looking for the right word, “Performance,” he adds, satisfied with his choice.

“How so?” You cock an eyebrow, very interested in the information.

“It basically raised my levels of stamina way higher. I’m always ready to go,” he says like it’s no big deal, “As long as I have motivation, of course. Like such a pretty dame like you,” He gestures towards your naked body with a reverence and winks, prompting a heat to rush up to your cheeks at the old fashioned but still efficient term, which sounds surprisingly sexy coming out of his lips as he says it so naturally while you both lay stark-naked next to each other.

“Oh…” it slips out of your lips before your forehead creases, “Hold on…You’re telling me that as long as I… ahm… motivate you, or something, you can keep it up, no matter how many times?”

That teasing smugness etches on his face again as he tightens and twists his lips, “Pretty much, yeah,” he answers, bringing a hand to stroke the curve of your hips.

“Huh,” you let out in a puffed breath as you come to your conclusion, “You’re practically a human dildo.” Your eyes widen as soon as you realize what you just said, “Sorry,” you cringe.

“No offense taken at all,” he chuckles, the corner of his eyes crinkling in that way you find adorably sexy, “I’m actually flattered…” he adds before boring a suspicious gaze into you yours, “I see something glimmering in your eyes, though.”

You bite your lower lip. The mere thought and the teasing hand on your body are enough to rouse your senses and make your entire skin prickle, “Just an idea that crossed my mind,” you answer, voice a little trembling with equal parts of horniness and nervousness in presenting said idea.

“Ooooo… this sounds exciting. Tell me,” he encourages, putting a bit more pressure on where his hand touches your skin and dragging his body closer to yours.

“Well…” Your gaze comes across his mouth now that is so closed to yours as you bring your eyes down to follow your fingers dancing over his chest again, brushing over the little whiskers of hair there, “Since we know you can keep it up… ahm…indefinitely,” Your fingers skim lower and lower and his breath hovers yours as a humming sound for you to continue not only touching but talking slips out of his lungs, “It would be interesting to find out how much I can take it, don’t you think?” You lift innocent eyes to his from under your eyelashes.

A groan rumbles from his chest as his fingers dig into the skin of your hips, with the certainty of leaving marks, “Let me see if I got it straight… You wanna find out how many times you can orgasm in one night?” Like usual, he speaks more directly than you, the lust dark in his gaze.

“I’m pretty curious… aren’t you?” Your hand wanders down the muscles of his body and follows the path of little hairs, which gets thicker and thicker till you reach his now fully rigid cock.

He brushes his parted lips over yours and lets out a deep exhale as you wrap your fingers around his dick. He’s hard as a rock and twitches in your hand, you’re still amazed that it has reached that point again just by the teasing exchange and little touches.

“Oh yeah, you’re very, very curious, too, I see,” you tease him again, slowly pumping him with your fist.

“That I am… that I am,” he whispers, his hot and heavy breath hovering yours as his hips ever so lightly starts rocking against your hand. “But, tell me,” he asks putting on some seriousness on his voice, “Would this very obliging sex toy over here be allowed to use not only my fucking marvelous and precious huge cock,” he repeats your words using the same tone as yours, “But also other equally skilled parts of my body, like tongue,” he darts his tongue to lightly lick your upper lip, but quickly retrieves it back to continue speaking, tickling your skin with the tip of his fingers as he drags them from your hips towards your lower belly, “Fingers-”

You suck in a whine, already too turned on to prolong the teasing, “Now it’s definitely not the time to start with rules- ah-” Apparently you aren’t the only one ready to get into the real action as he bats your hand away and swiftly shifts on the bed, rolling over you and between your legs.

When he reaches over the nightstand right next to you, where he already knows is your stash of condoms, you stop him with a hand on his forearm. He looks down at you questioningly as he hovers you supporting himself with his arms on the mattress.

“You told me before you can’t get sick due the serum. It means you wouldn’t pass me anything, either, right?” You ask, somehow managing to regulate your breathing.

“Yeah, that’s right.” He nods.

“I’m on birth control since forever,” you add, heavily implying what you want from him.

“Are you sure?” He checks, “I really don’t mind-“

“I wanna fucking feel it. All of it.” You reach between you two and wrap your hand around his bare cock.

“Fuck…” His eyes flutter shut at your touch before snapping open at you, filled with renewed hunger, “You’re in for a ride, sweetheart,” he breathes before grabbing your lips withs his.

Number four – because he had already graced you with the first three, moments before - happens right there when he pulls your legs up and bend them backwards till your knees straddle your face and takes you hard and raw, because neither of you can wait. Number five he flips you over and keeps you completely still under him, almost crushing you with his delicious weight, having his chest glued to your back as he shoves his hips into yours.

Six and seven happen in a row when he eats you out while you sit on the countertop of your kitchen, after a quick snack and water to regain your forces. Eight, he pounds into you from behind as you grab with sheer force the edges of said countertop…

You have no idea how many hours pass. It happens on your bed, in the kitchen, balcony, table, chairs. In the living room, sofa, carpet, floor, over your desk in your small office… The filthy smells filling up the air of your home along with naughty fluids left on your way. You don’t even dare to think about the cleaning you’ll have to do the next day. Your mind is completely blanked by the constancy of pleasure and sensitivity your body has been sunk into. His cock, lips, tongue, fingers, thigh, hot skin… all of him devoted to you, to your desire, as his body merges into yours turning you into a blur of bliss.

When you become just a sack of numb limbs and dizziness, he scoops you up from the living room carpet and rests you on your bed, bringing you water right before laying behind you, forming a breathless spoon on the mattress. He might be thinking you’re finally done, but if that’s the case, he’s miscalculating the effect the heat of his body against yours has on you. So, after you roll your hips against his cock – which hardens almost immediately- he lifts your leg and eases himself inside your poor, but still somehow ready and eager, cunt. Knowing how overstimulated you are, he reaches over you and just ever so lightly brushes a finger over your clit. That’s how you reach the 24th orgasm of the night and, at last, throw the towel.

“That was… something,” you say when you’re in the shower with him after a deserved, but quick nap, still in your sticky and fervent skins. When you announced you needed a shower, he joined you promptly, “I thought I would reach 15, 16 at most. I’m pretty impressed with you.”

He clicks his tongue, while pouring some of your shampoo on his hand, “Nah… you’re just underestimating you, sweetheart.” He puts the shampoo on his hair and brushes the locks with his fingers, “I, on the other hand, know exactly what kind of insatiable minx you are,” he says right before sinking his head under the shower to rinse his hair.

Under the water he doesn’t see your jaw dropping and your outraged gasp, but he certainly feels the little shove on his chest to express your protests, because he takes his head out of the water and brushes the water out of his face with his hand, “What?”

“Fucking rude,” you answer, already laughing quietly, while using the sponge to leather your body.

“Ok, I could’ve used better words, but I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, “But I get it. It’s been almost 80 years and somethings haven’t changed that much.” He twists his lips, reaching over for the hair conditioning, “I know women grow up listening to this fucking culture who teach men and women that enjoying sex is a guy thing… and when a woman shows the opposite she’s judged, which is stupid. The issue is pure fucked up sociology rather than biology. A man needs a damn super serum to reach that many orgasms in one night while all women need is their own body and will. It’s lame what society can do when it comes to repressing women.” He shrugs.

Once again your jaw drops, but for an entirely different reason, and for a while you just watch him, dumbfounded, while he hums a tune, applying conditioner on his long locks and dives his head on the running water again, like he hasn’t just now slapped your face with a damn feminist discourse about female sexuality, “That’s… true…” You have no choice but to agree.

“Of course it is…” he smirks proudly, before squinting his eyes at you while you wash out the soap of your body, “And you know what? I bet you have one more there waiting for me,” he lifts his chin, like he’s challenging you, as water drips from his face and hair.

Your eyes widen for a second at the implications of said challenge, “I can’t.” You’re quick to shake your head. You have no idea how you’re managing to stand there, since every little muscle of your body is sore.

“Actually, I bet you have one more there waiting for you… Wanna see?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“Shit, Bucky, I don’t think I can handle you one more time,” you reply, honestly. As tempting as the idea sounds, you can’t even think about taking him again.

“Don’t worry… I won’t be doing anything.” His voice lowers a tone, as he walks you back towards the shower seat Eddie was so adamant in adding to the bathroom.

Looking down, you’re not surprised at all to see his cock already hardening and you would be lying to yourself if you don’t feel a little tingle in your belly. As soon as you’re seated, he props his metal arm on the wall above your head and wraps his flesh hand on his cock, which is inches from you, bumping it a few times till it’s quickly fully hard.

“Tonight was an interesting experience for me, too,” his voice, laced with silk and mischief, props your gaze to lift to his. As he stares down at you and his hand jerks on his cock, locks of wet hair fall on his face and droplets run down his naked body.

It’s only instinct when your tongue darts out to lick your lips. You can’t believe you’re already getting turned on after everything you’ve already done, “Yeah, how so?” You encourage him in whatever treat he has planned for you.

“Hmmm,” his eyes flutter shut for a second as he swipes his thumb over the rosy tip, keeping a slow pace on himself, “Getting to know your body even more… the little places I touch and your whole body trembles, yeah… open up for me, that’s it, that damn pussy of yours,” he coos when you prop one heel over the bench beside you, letting the other on the floor and allowing your fingers to dance over your breasts and skim down your wet body.

“What else…ha,” you gasp when your exploring fingers reach your clit. It’s still sensitive from the previous actions, but it doesn’t reject your touch as the water from the shower mixes up with your natural wetness. It’s not hard to feel your arousal rising again in your body, not when you have that obscene sight of him touching himself inches from you and that dirty mouth saying all the things he likes about having sex with you. Your body responds to the sensuous scenario instantly.

“I lose my mind at how that pussy squeezes my cock when I talk dirty to you… These fucking tits of yours,” he groans and you can see his cock twitching.

Your hand on yourself speeds up in rhythm with his, but it remains a light touch on your clit, the kind of touch your body is asking for right now, but it feels good, so damn good, like a feather tickling the sensitive nub. Your eyes are stuck on his as much as his is stuck on yours. You feel like the sexiest woman alive under his gaze and fuck if you’re not gonna reach your 25th orgasm of the night soon.

“I wanna have my cock between them one day, would you do that for me, beautiful, fuck my cock with your perfect tits?” He continues his verbal fucking, biting his lip till the blood rushes out of his skin, “Fucking you is an experience I can’t seem to get enough, sweetie, what about you, huh? Tell me what you like about fucking me.”

So many things… “I-I like your fucking big cock,” you say before letting out a small laugh, “Obviously,” you wiggle your eyebrows making him laugh briefly with you, before you look down at where he’s jerking himself. You have no idea how you’re managing to talk like that, you’ve never been that verbal when it comes to sex, but with him… it’s different. “It’s so damn thick…” You lick your lips, breathing hard as the feather touch in your clit sparks laces of pleasure inside you. Looking up at him, you see him clenching his teeth, hooded eyes still on you, “I like when you’re rough to me, when you throw me around like I weigh nothing, you’re so fucking strong, ah.” Your head falls back as you’re almost there… “I like that you know exactly what gives me pleasure, even before I know it myself…”

“Fuck, you’re damn sexy…” he breathes out and you can tell he’s holding himself back, probably waiting for you to finish before he does, “What about that ass of mine, huh?” The playfulness comes back to his voice between harsh panting.

You chuckle, “I fucking love grabbing it while you’re pounding your dick inside me and… oh, God… that fucking filthy mouth… Especially when it’s all over me.” Your toes curl as the pressure inside your core tightens, driving yourself closer and closer to the edge, the words come out of your lips like they have a mind of their own, connected solely to your desire, “I love how you love eating me out, oh, goddamn, fuck…” Your eyes shut and your body shakes as you close your legs around your hand, reaching an orgasm for 25th time that night, this time by your own hand. And is just as good and powerful as the others he has given you.

“Shit,” his voice falters and as you still struggle to breathe you look up at him, “Can I come on those tits, sweetheart?” He nods towards your body, his voice coming out tight from between his teeth.

“Fuck yeah,” You nod, arching your back and exposing your breasts even more to him.

“Holy shit,” he moans as, after a few more expert bumps, he spills his climax all over your chest, “Fuck,” he keeps his metal hand on the wall as he stares down apparently in a spell, admiring his handiwork, before grabbing your arm and making you stand, pulling you to him and grabbing your breathless lips in a kiss.

Your chest is tight against his and the thought of the mess between you two makes you moan through his kiss. He’s the one who pulls back with that signature smugness all over his face.

Your eyes roll playfully, “Yeah, I know… You told me so…”

~~~

After you finish the shower for real this time, you’re drying yourself with a towel while Bucky, already with his black boxes on, uses one of your combs to work on his hair in front of the mirror in your bathroom. He huffs in frustration as the long locks don’t seem to stay in the style he’s looking for.

The sound of your quiet laugh makes him glance towards you. He smiles tightly and shrugs, a whole new sheepish expression on his face, “I’ve been meaning to cut it, but… I don’t know… other stuff keeps getting in the way,” he shrugs again, turning back to the mirror.

“I like it that way, it suits you pretty well, but if you’d liked I could cut it for you?” you offer, lacing your towel with a knot around your body.

“Really?” He tilts his head while something like amused skepticism etches on his face.

“Yeah, sure, I have all the tools here now if that’s something you want.”

He looks at himself in the mirror, taking a good look at his locks before turning back to you, “Let’s do this.”

Next thing you know you have Bucky still only in his boxes sitting on a chair he carried to your bathroom while you’re on an old t-shirt, displaying the set of shears, combs and trimmer over the countertop.

Wrapping a towel around his shoulders, you look at his reflection on the mirror, “So, are we just cutting the ends or are you going overboard here?”

“Overboard,” he answers right away and you smile at the trust he lays on you, “But leave something to grab. You all seem to love that.” The corner of his lips twists.

You laugh, reaching for the shear, “We all love it indeed,” you agree and run your hands over his locks, analyzing what you’re dealing with, “Trust me, I know exactly what to do.” You wink at him through the mirror and get on to work.

“Haircuts, huh?” he asks as the little strands of hair fall over the towel and the floor, “Quite an arsenal you have here.” He nods at your tools in front of him.

“Yeah,” you don’t move the focus from your working hands to answer, “I used to cut Eddie’s. We’ve been on a low budget for years so we could buy this place.” You give him a brief tight-lip glance.

“Very nice place, by the way.”

“It is, isn’t it?” You beam at him before focusing back on his hair, “But it’s a bit strange, actually. When we found it and moved in, I thought I would spend the rest of my life here with him… And now…” you sigh.

“Now we’re ruining your furniture,” he beams when you look at him.

You can’t help chuckle and agree, “Pretty much, yeah.”

“Are you keeping it?”

Your lips tightens as you look down at your working hands… You haven’t really thought of it straight and you’re sure that not thinking about it means you still had some hope to resume your life from where it had stopped when Eddie broke up with you. But, now that you’re talking about it, the answer feels right when it rolls off your tongue, “I want to. I love this place…with my promotion and the money that comes with it, I think I could make it happen, but… I still need to work things out with Eddie, though.”

“You haven’t talked to him yet.” Bucky affirms rather than ask. All along, even when you’re not looking at him at times, you can feel Bucky’s gaze not leaving your reflection in the mirror as his hair goes through a transformation by your hands.

“No.” You shake your head and decide to share with him an idea that has been wandering in your mind lately, “Stark mentioned a party to celebrate my promotion-“

“Of course…” He adds.

“Yeah…” You laugh, before clearing your throat, “I was thinking about calling Eddie, letting him know I was promoted… I mean… we went to collage together and went through our careers together…” You look back at him through the mirror, “I think he’ll be happy to know from me and maybe even go to the party to celebrate. Also, we’ll be working a lot with each other again since he’s the leader of Shield’s team.”

“Were you still together when he got his promotion?” He asks, genuine interest in his voice.

You shake your head no, “It was right after he broke up with me.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?”

“I don’t know, actually, “ you answer, going back on working with the shears, finding a bit funny how he’s been fucking you senseless and exploring every little inch of your body these last few days and still is careful in asking a personal question, “I noticed he was distant a few weeks before, but I brushed it off.” You shrug, “We’d been together for so long and we had our ups and downs… I just thought we were going through one of our downs. And then he woke up one day and said he didn’t want to be together anymore… Natasha thinks he has someone else,” you say, with a small and humorless laugh as you turn on the blow drier and positions it over his hair.

He tightens his lips through the reflection. Yeah… he thinks the same.

You’re glad for the sound of the drier as silence settles between you two. It’s not awkward or anything like that… you’re just glad for the silence so you can evaluate how the possibility of Eddie having someone affects you. It’s fucked up to admit even to yourself, but it sucks. It’s not like you’re crying alone right now, but it’s different. There’s nothing romantic with Bucky and, honestly, you feel like shit picturing Eddie, your boyfriend of ten years, in a relationship with someone else.

“Did he call you to let you know once he was promoted?” Bucky asks as soon as you turn off the drier.

“He didn’t. I sent him a text when I found out, he didn’t answer,” You bite your cheek, as your shoulders drop and you slowly comb his hair.

“It sucks, huh?” He twists his lips as you meet his eyes through the mirror. They’re full of kindness and understanding, and you’re glad he doesn’t make you feel more embarrassed than you naturally are in sharing that with him.

“We had just split, though… now it’s been months… things should be a little less weird… and voi lá.” Thankfully for your embarrassment, you finish his hair right then, an opportunity to change the subject.

He takes his eyes from you to his reflection on the mirror and you bite your lip waiting for his reaction, since it feels like it’s the first time he’s paying attention to himself ever since you started cutting his hair. Like he asked, you went overboard and cut it a lot shorter than before, letting a fluffy quaff on the top. As much as you loved the long locks, you think he looks more handsome than ever, like a movie star.

“Oh, wow”, he lets out in a jovial voice, running his hand over his soft and shorter locks, “It’s awesome.”

“Really?” you smile, letting out a relief breath, “See?” You grab the fluffiness on top of his head and smirk, “Perfect to grab.”

He laughs, “I really like it, I don’t look homeless anymore. Thank you.” He nods.

“You’re welcome, but wait, there are still some final touches before we’re really finished.” You grab the trimmer, and turn it on to work on the outlines behind his neck.

“Alright, ma’am.” He promptly straightens up his posture as you go back to work, “So, is it important for you that he knows?”

He resumes from where you had stopped and doesn’t have to clarify who and what he’s talking about. “It’s important for me that he goes,” you admit with a sigh, turning off the trimmer and looking at him through the mirror. You run your hands once again through his soft and new hair, before grabbing a little brush, “It feels weird to not share this with him,” you mutter, using the tool to meticulously brush off the remains of hair on his neck and shoulders.

“Ok, then you should call him, why not?” He shrugs, “It’s been ten years, you just don’t erase that.”

A small, but thankful, smile curls your lips. You could expect being scolded for admitting something like that. Not from Bucky, apparently. And his support is really significant at that moment, much more than any lecture one of your friends would give you about the troubles of calling an ex-boyfriend who broke up with you.

“But just so you know,” he continues, shutting his eyes for a second and letting out a long exhale, “It may be just me, but I don’t think a man who doesn’t like to eat pussy deserves any kind of consideration.”

You laugh, letting your head fall back, before shaking it in lighthearted disbelief.

Bucky smiles and, if the fact that he makes you laugh with his stupid jokes lights up a warm and mysterious sensation in his chest, he thinks nothing of it, concentrating only on the touch of your gentle fingers grazing the skin of his neck while you go back to cleaning the little hairs off him.

~~~

Next chapter (from Bucky’s pov) coming soon.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes smut #smut #it's a deal

2K notes · View notes

ikassienatics · 3 years

Text

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 ↬ 𝐭𝐨𝐦 𝐡.

warnings: mentions of drugs and guns, smoking, dry humping, mentions of murder, angst-ish, smut. in short no kids under eighteen but it’s your choice.

sypnosis: being in a relationship with london’s leading mafia boss is dangerous, you already knew what kind of consequences your decision would bring but you did not care nonetheless. now in present, after being together for some time, tom finally grew the courage to ask for your hand and marry you in front of thousands, he had plan everything for that night but the outcome is not what he had expected at all.

author’s note: y’all, the outcome is not what i had expected at all, i’m wheezing rn. i can’t sksks, so this happened, i’m already planning on writing this shit since last week i think? or last two weeks ago, whatever. and everything is planned, they are already in place, the whole plot itself is already painted on the back of my mind, then i wash the dishes, yes bitch i just wash the dishes since y’know i’m the one assigned on that kind of stuff, then while cleaning the plates, it suddenly occur to my mind like, what if i do this shit then that shit, so yeah, that’s the end of the story telling. wtf. that’s how i decided the whole cold blood shit.

you throw your head back as you let out a loud moan. back arching and showing him a great view of your neck and your tits, pulling all your hair so it can rest on the back of your shoulder as you continue to rock your hips back and forth, getting off on his leg. the red room is quiet, the only noise you can probably hear is the sound of faint beats coming from the pub and your whimpers. the smell of drugs and gun powder is also overpowering the smell of your own arousal, to your relief.

it was probably late that night, 10pm maybe or later than that. tom is currently in the middle of dealings with the other mob bosses, be it about the shipping, new guns, or different kind of drugs you did not pay attention to. but the meeting was cut off when you told your boyfriend that you felt horny, and being the good boyfriend he is, he asked everyone to go out to you can resolve your problem.

maybe that’s why you saw yourself in this kind of situation, a pretty fucked up facial expression, dress hiked up around your waist showing him a wonderful view of your bare legs and the lacy panty you chose to wear. biting your lips, you kissed his cheeks while grinding on him, attempting to hide your face on the crook of his neck.

but the mob only growled in response because of your action, and gods. you felt yourself getting wetter and coming closer to your release at the sight of him comfortably resting on the couch, legs parted to make you more comfortable and both hands are resting on the back of the cushion, cigarette is resting in between his fingers while he watch you get off.

bringing the cigarette between his lips, he took a drag before blowing it up on the ceiling, his hands harshly grabbed the back of your neck, some of your hairs coming with it as he force off of his shoulders “don’t fucking hide from me, baby girl.” he let out, voice is deep and dark making you moan.

your eyes fluttered open, taking in the appearance of your eleven months boyfriend, fitted black t-shirt which shows off every muscle he has, tight black pants, hugging the muscles on his legs, the line of his crotch is also very noticeable. biting your lips, you push your hairs on your back so it does not go everywhere while making eye contact with the mafia leader, eyes is filled with lust, hands snaking on the his neck once again before moving your hips back and forth

tom sighed in response, slowly feeling something wet touching the skin of his leg, he let his hands snake from your neck to your waist, encouraging you to continue. “that’s it, darling. get off on daddy’s thigh, show me how much of a good girl you are.” just the sound of his voice and the devilish words coming out of his mouth is enough to bring you closer towards your peak, eyes closing shut while you fasten your face.

he took another drag from his cigarette, and this time he blow it on your face, and that action gets you more aroused than you were, from his neck, your hand snake to your breast, massaging the mound which brings your more pleasure.

but the pleasure was immediately cut off when you felt a sting of pain on your left cheek, tom fucking holland just slap you across your face, but that didn’t stop you from moving your hips, slowly turning to him, hands holding the part of your face where he hits you, you bite your lips, smirking at the london’s most dangerous person “don’t fucking touch yourself.” he whispered “that’s my job.”

from his leg, your rise so you’re kneeling between his thigh, slowly moving closer to him with a devil smirk on your face, your hands held his jaw, slightly forcing him to look at you while your other hand starter playing with his hair “you hit like a fucking kid.” you teased “hit me hard.”

he growled in response, yanking your hair again as his hands groped your neck, lightly choking you “don’t talk to me like that.” he said angrily making you moan, he push you harshly on the floor before fumbling with his belt, throwing it across the room after then pushing his pants along side with his boxers down, enough for his cock to sprung free.

you moaned at the sight, he looks so painfully hard, the tip is red and leaking with pre-cum, you felt your mouth water with excitement, holding the back of your neck again. tom didn’t waste any second before pushing your head to his hard cock, forcing you to take all of him which made you gag in response, mouth is so deep to the point that your nose is now touching his pubic hair. he moaned out as he started to guide your head in a rhythm, guiding you to bob your head.

slowly, he let go of your head when you started moving on your own, putting both of his hands behind his head while watching you suck his cock, closing his eyes and sighing once in a while because of the pleasure your giving him.

and then the door burst open causing the bar music to enter the room as well, but neither of you moved or stop your actions. tom look up from you, brown eyes locking with a green one, he hold the gun that was placed just behind him, ready to shoot harrison just in case he decided to look at you in a way he did not like

“mate.” haz called out from the door, eyes remaining on tom and trying his best not to look down on your kneeling figure

“the fuck do you want?” his answer came out harsher than he expected, holding your head once again to silently tell you to keep moving

“streetfighter is here.” he said eyes remaining locked on tom’s

he sighed in boredom before looking back at you, watching his cock disappear on your mouth and the sight made his member twitch “tell him to fucking wait.” he ordered

harrison looks like he’s having second thought, after all streetfighter is known as the man who wouldn’t like to wait, just like every one in the building. streetfighter is also a mafia member who pledge his loyalty to the hollands, he’s the one handling the shipments abroad, though it’s still not clear what his relationship with tom is. streetfighter is goods with the rest of the holland but tom, both men are having a hard time seeing each other as allies, knowing tom. he looked down at the man because of the decision he makes and how he handles things with no consideration while streetfighter on the other hand thinks that tom does not deserve to be feared in london and thinks that he’s got nothing but a pretty face and maybe a huge cock.. stretfighter thinks that the people should fear him instead of tom

harrison sighed “aye, but hurry up will ya? i might not be able to hold him long.”

tom only nodded, eyes remained on you while harrison closed the door once again. he held the back of your head under his grasp before forcing you to pick up the pace, hips jolting forward to meet your mouth as he tried to reach his high, the sudden movement and the feeling of his tip hitting the back of your throat made your eyes go teary but the feeling is not new to you anymore, considering as how many times you gave your man a head

“fuck, darling.” he groaned “you’re doing so good.” he praises and just in time, he reach his high with one last thrust inside your mouth. you gladly swallow all of them, tom pulled out of you, eyes locking with his as your fingers dance around the side of your mouth, gathering his cum that came out of your mouth only to bring them back again and swallow

he growled at the sight, holding your jaw tightly before forcing you to open your mouth for him, and once you did. he leaned closer only to spit inside your mouth and forcing it to close “swallow it for daddy.” and you did just as what he told you, swallowing his own saliva making him smile in satisfaction “such a good girl.” he began to get dress again, pulling his pants up while you pull your dress down just above your knee

tom grabbed the pistol gun he owned before walking towards you while you’re fixing your hair, he grabbed you by the wait and planted a loving kiss on the side of your forehead, handing you the gun and holding your face on his hands so you could look at him “wait for me at home?”

you slightly smile at him, accepting the weapon he decided to give you and nodding your head “don’t take long.” you whispered seductively, giving him a short kiss that had him wanting for more, when you turn to look away, his head follows wanting to feel your lips longer but only groaned when you pulled back

“take harrison with you, yeah?” he suggested just like what he always do only for you to turn it down “there’s no need tommy, i can take care of myself and besides, you need haz to take care of the dealings.”

“fine.” he said “text me when you get home.”

nodding your head and planting one last kiss on his cheek, you began to walk away, his eyes following yours. only if he knew what’ll come after, this night will not only be about you and him making love. it’ll also be about him asking you to marry him so both of you can grow old together, be together forever, have a bunch of kids and watch them grow up, have grandchildren.

but it won’t happen.

it can’t happen.

at least not anymore, those things will only be tom’s wildest dreams, nothing more, nothing less.

because you never reached home after that, your car that was parked just outside the pub remained untouched by you, and three days later the police found a body by the river. that’s when everything has been confirmed, you were murdered in cold blood the same night when tom’s about to propose to you.

disclaimer: all publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. the original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. the author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

#tom holland angst #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker imagine #peter parker smut #peter parker

188 notes · View notes

hxlyhead-harpies · 4 years

Text

The Last Dream of My Soul part 1. (R.L.)

hello everyone! This is the first part of the Remus Lupin series that i’m starting and i am soooo excited. i am still new at this so any feedback is appreciated!! i hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: Young!Remus Lupin x Reader

Summary: The very bookish (Y/n) has spent most of her life alone, aside from her best friends Lily and her beloved books. But when the infamous Marauders get thrust into her life, how could she resist the beautiful and unattainable Remus.

Warnings: Cursing

Word Count: 3.1k

The yellowing and rough pages of old books had always felt like home to you. The smell of the aging parchment and the worn and weathered covers had always offered you more comfort than any real person ever had. On a bad day, you’d be able to curl up in your bed, lulled to sleep by your favorite characters, and adventures more exciting than your own life. As the years pushed forward this was how your life was. You didn’t have many friends but that was okay because you had your books. Who needed a best friend when you could spend your afternoons in Narnia with the Pevensie siblings or tumble through rabbit holes with Alice? For the early years of your childhood, you were content with the reality that you wished you could be in any world than your own. Your boring, magicless, and unmysterious world.

But that all changed the year you turned eleven. You remember the day as if it were yesterday. You were laying on your bed, your legs tangled in the quilt your mother had made. A Nancy Drew book sat in front of you, the plot of which now escapes you but at this point, you had already solved the mystery yourself. It was a perfect summer afternoon. The sun was out and you could hear the other neighborhood kids shouting from outside your window. They never invited you out to play but you were okay with that; you had far more exciting things to read. You were turning a page, nearly halfway through the book, when you heard tapping from your window. Your head shot up- your reading induced trance was now broken- only to be met with the sight of a snowy owl. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. You had never seen that type of bird around here. And you had certainly never seen one clutching a letter between its talons. You carefully marked your page in your book and quickly hopped out of bed. You made your way to the window and attempted to open it, a task that proved difficult for your small eleven-year-old body. After a few moments of a struggle, you finally pried it open. The owl dropped the letter inside your room and flew off. You bent down to pick up the parchment from the floor to see that the letter was addressed to you, and was from someplace called Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

From that moment on your world had been flipped upsidedown, at least in the sense that everything now had to change. But to you, if anything, the world had finally been made right. Magic was real- and you had the pleasure of possessing it. It was like some part of you had always known that magic existed beyond the pages of your favorite books. It was as if everything finally made sense.

You dragged your family down the streets of Diagon Alley, absorbing every bit of magic culture that you could. You reveled in the lights and the feeling of warmth that coursed through your veins when you finally picked up the right wand at Ollivanders. You squealed with delight when your parents purchased you an owl and you nearly died of excitement when you realized that pictures plastered on posters in the alleys moved. And when you ran through the seemingly solid barrier at Kingscross station you thought you would pass out from the thrill. And when you got on the train you curled up by yourself in a compartment, hurriedly reading through your History of Magic textbook, attempting to soak up every bit of knowledge that you could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

During your first year at Hogwarts, you came to the slow realization that you might actually need friends. Now that you knew that magic was real you wanted to experience as much of it as you could, and it felt rather lonely to experience it all on your own. The characters in your books had always had sidekicks and best friends on their grand adventures, and being accepted into Hogwarts marked the beginning of yours. Now you just needed someone to share it with. Luckily, the pretty girl with brilliant green eyes and glowing red hair that shared your dorm had the same idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

By your fourth year, you and Lily Evans were attached at the hip. You spent nearly all your time together, inside and outside of class, and told each other absolutely everything. She knew everything about you, every detail and every secret, and you knew the same about her. Sure you had other friends, Marlene and Alice were nice and you hung around them quite often, but it was nothing like your relationship with Lily. She was the Elizabeth Bennet to your Charlotte Collins. Nobody understood you as she did, and you didn’t think you’d ever find anyone else who did.

But despite your closeness, you always felt a tinge of jealousy towards her. She was everything you weren’t: she was strong and outgoing, she felt no fear when talking to strangers, and it seemed that everyone instantly took a liking to her. Everyone loved her. She had flocks of friends, granted she wasn’t as close to any of them as she was to you, but it occasionally made you feel unimportant. It also seemed as if half of the year was in love with her. James Potter was evidence of that, constantly making a fool of himself to impress her. Lily always scoffed at him, not finding any of his antics even slightly attractive. And out loud you agreed with her that he was just a silly boy, but deep down you wished someone would give you at least a fraction of the attention that he gave her. But that was how it always went. Lily was the type of girl that boys would fall in love with. You, on the other hand, her quiet and shy sidekick, went largely unnoticed. But everything was fine. Because in moments when you felt lonely or inadequate you could turn to your books just as you did when you were young. Fingers tracing over the words of Mr. Darcy’s declaration of love or Romeo and Juliet’s final moments. And at the time, it was enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was your seventh year when things really started to change. After years of begging, Lily finally said yes to James. You were happy for her of course, she seemed to really like him. And he obviously really liked her. The way that James looked at her could only be described in the words of your favorite novels. But with her new relationship came uncharted territory: Lily now sat with him at most meals, though every few breakfasts she’d make a point to sit with you, and the spot you usually occupied next to her in the common room was now occupied by James. And the worst part was that you were now alone on Hogsmeade weekends, a time that was usually reserved for you and Lily to walk arm and arm around the small village. But despite all of this you couldn’t be mad at her. You saw how happy she was- and her happiness made you happy as well. But you couldn’t help but feel a tad jealous that she got to feel an emotion that you yearned to feel with your entire being. Love.

“(Y/n) come on!” Lily exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. You groaned, looking up at her from the book in front of you. You were currently rereading A Tale of Two Cities, a favorite of yours that was littered with dogeared pages and underlined phrases. You made eye contact with your best friends, noticing the frustration in her eyes.

“Can you please just come eat breakfast with us?” she asked, rubbing her temple with her fingertips.

“Lils you know I want to eat breakfast with you but I don’t want to interrupt your time with James,” you replied, starting to look back down at your book.

“You’re not interrupting anything! All of his friends sit with us too!” she said desperately. When you didn’t respond to her exclamation she reached down and snatched the book from your hands.

“Lily!” you cried, sitting up and attempting to steal back your book.

“No (Y/n) I’m not giving this back until you come eat with me! I feel like I never see you anymore,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s because you’re always with James,” you responded while making another sad attempt to reclaim your novel. Lily’s face fell.

“Do you think I’m spending too much time with him? I swear I don’t mean to ignore you, I’ll stop eating meals with him and we can go to Hogsm-” she rambled, practically shoving the old book back into your hands.

“No Lily!” you shouted, cutting her off. “You’re not spending to much time with him! It seems like a perfectly acceptable time to spend around your boyfriend. I just miss you that’s all,” you said quietly. Lily’s face softened.

“Then come eat breakfast with me. I want you to get to know James better. You two are my favorite people I want you to get along,” she once again urged.

“Lily I’m not sure… I don’t really know anyone else there and you don’t have to worry I already like James plenty,” you replied.

“Just come, please! I promise that you’ll like his friends!” she practically begged. You sighed in defeat, finally giving in.

“Fine Lily,” you grumbled, standing up to gather your things.

“Yay!” Lily exclaimed, clapping her hands together.

“But, I can only promise today. If his friends suck I won’t come back,” you exclaimed sternly. Lily nodded solemnly.

“Understood.”

The two of you made your way down to the Great Hall for breakfast as Lily attempted to give you a rundown on the group of boys that you were about to meet.

“Ok so obviously you know James, he plays quidditch and is studying to become an Auror. His best friend is Sirius who, I know, has a reputation but I swear he’s no that ba-”

“Lily I know who they all are! We’ve been in the same house for the last seven years,” you said, interrupting her with a laugh. Lily rolled her eyes at you.

“Yes I know you know them but you don’t know them,” Lily replied.

“Fine fine,” you said, throwing your hands up in surrender. “Continue.”

“Thank you,” Lily smiled. “As I was saying, Sirius is not as bad as everyone makes him out to seem. Yes, he hooks up with quite a few girls but he’s actually very funny and is secretly a sweetheart. Then there’s Peter, who I’ll admit is a little odd, but he’s harmless. And finally, there’s Remus. He honestly reminds me of you: he’s quiet and he reads a lot like you do. But he’s kind of a smartass sometimes so watch out for that,” she said, finished with her rundown. By this point, the two of you had reached the great hall. Breakfast was already in full swing and the room was swarming with students. Lily grabbed your arm and led you to a spot about midway down the table. She plopped down next to James, kissing him quickly on the cheek, causing Sirius to make a fake gagging face, before pulling you down to sit next to her.

“Boys,” she said, attempting to catch the attention of all four boys.

“This is (Y/n), my best mate in the entire world, so you all better be nice to her,” Lily stated matter-o-factly. You looked up to give a meek smile to all the boys. James greeted you warmly, Sirius gave you a small nod, Peter waved excitedly, and Remus didn’t even look up at you. You frowned for a moment before Sirius smacked Remus’s arm from his spot next to him.

“Hey Moony, pay attention we have a guest,” he said jokingly before shooting you a smile. Remus’s head shot up quickly, looking from Sirius to you, locking his eyes with yours. Once he seemingly realized what was happening he shot you a quick smile. You smiled back, attempting to hide the blush that the momentary eye contact had caused. You had always found Remus attractive, but you had never been so near him before. Something about the proximity made you jittery and made your palms sweat.

“Sorry about that,” he said, lifting a book from underneath the table. He flashed the cover of the book towards you. The title, Crime and Punishment, was sprawled across the worn cover. You felt your nose crinkle, reminded of how much you disliked the book. Remus’s eyebrows furrowed.

“What? Not a fan of Dostoevsky?” he asked. You shook your head.

“I guess the plot was interesting enough but oh my Godric was it dense,” you replied with a groan. You heard Remus chuckle from his spot across from you.

“Yeah, I suppose I can see where you’re coming from. I am enjoying it so far though,” he replied. You hummed in understanding before reaching for a piece of toast.

“Oh come on Lily,” Sirius said with a grin. “I can’t believe you would bring another nerd along. We already have Remus, we don’t need another one,” he continued. You felt your face heat up, ducking your head as you bit into the piece of toast. Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius.

“Sirius I told you to be nice,” she said before throwing a piece of her roll at him. He laughed before throwing his hands up in surrender.

“Sorry (Y/n),” he apologized. You sent him a quick nod to let him know that it was okay, before pulling out your own book. As you stared down at the pages in front of you, you missed Remus perking up in interest.

“What are you reading?” he asked, setting his book down. You looked up quickly, showing him the cover.

“A Tale of Two Cities. It’s one of my favorites,” you answered shyly. You felt Lily shift beside you before speaking.

“She’s read that book probably a million times,” she said. You rolled your eyes.

“I wouldn’t say a million times, but yes I’ve read it quite a few times,” you replied before shifting your eyes back to Remus. He let out a soft laugh.

“I’ve never read it before. I’ll have to pick a copy up when we go to Hogsmeade. One of the shops sells muggle books,” he said with a small smile.

“You can borrow mine!” you said too quickly, causing yourself to blush. He looked at you, surprised.

“Oh, uh sure. I’ll borrow it when I’m done with this,” he replied, once again holding up Crime and Punishment. You heard Lily snicker from beside you.

“Good luck trying to read one of her books,” Lily said. “There’s so much writing in the margins it’s nearly impossible to get through.” You turned to her and smacked her lightly on the shoulder.

“Hey! It’s not that bad,” you said with a slight pout.

“I don’t mind,” Remus said, causing your eyes to turn back to him. “I’ll be interested in reading your thoughts as well as the book,” he said earnestly. You felt yourself smile involuntarily. You were about to reply when James stood up suddenly.

“Damnit we’re going to be late to potions,” he exclaimed. And with that, you all gathered your things and left.

Potions was generally a subject that you were good at. You often found yourself shooting your hand up during class to answer questions and Professor Slughorn had taken a liking to you. However, you found yourself unable to pay attention to the lesson. From your seat on the far side of the room, you had caught yourself staring at Remus. He was joking around with Peter, his potions partner, and had a wide smile spread across his face. He had scars running down his face, though they didn’t make him less attractive. In fact, they only seemed to add to the allure. His hair was messy and fell into his eyes. You felt yourself sigh when he ran his finger through his hair to get it out of his face.

“(Y/n)? Are you all right?” Lily asked, startling you. You nearly jumped from your seat, hand pressed to your chest.

“Merlin Lils! You scared me,” you replied. She squinted her eyes at you.

“(Y/n)? What’s going on with you?” she asked, scanning your face.

“Nothing!” you swore, stealing another quick glance at Remus. That was when the realization hit her. A teasing smile quickly spread it’s way across Lily’s face.

“Oh my goodness you fancy Remus don’t you?” she inquired, making your eyes widen and face flush. You pushed her shoulder lightly.

“Lily hush! And no I don’t!” you exclaimed as you glanced around the room to make sure that no one had heard her.

“Oh, you totally do! All that book talk this morning must’ve really got to you huh,” she said, waggling her eyebrows at you. You put your head in your hands and groaned.

“Shut up Lily!”

“Only when you admit it,” she responded.

“Fine! But you can’t tell anybody! Not even James,” you warned. Lily grinned from beside you.

“Oh, this is perfect! The two of you are perfect for each other!” she exclaimed.

“Lily! Just be quiet. It’s not like it’s ever going to happen,” you said. Lily looked at you, confusion was written all over her face.

“What do you mean it’s never going to happen?” she asked. You sighed, glancing at Remus once again. He was stirring the potion in front of him, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“Lily why would he ever like me?”

“Why wouldn’t he?” she replied, clearly exasperated. You turned to her, giving her an incredulous look.

“We have seven years of evidence that boys don’t like me,” you respond. Lily rolled her eyes beside you.

“Well, this is different trust me,” Lily responded. You stare at her.

“How could this possibly be any different?”

“Because you could actually talk to Remus, get to know him He’ll obviously fancy you once he learns more about you.” Then it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Lily, it’s never going to happen so just drop it,” you responded. You picked up the recipe for the potion that you were assigned to make that day.

“Now, can you please hand me the adder’s fork,” you said, listing off the first ingredient. Lily sighed.

“Fine. But we’ll be talking about this later.”

389 notes · View notes

klarolinelibrary · 3 years

Photo

This week, for our first 'loyal reader,' we had a chance to chat with Ennie, a very enthusiastic and passionate reader. Keep reading to find out what she has to say about her start in the fandom to her favorite story.

KCL: For our first question we would like you to introduce yourself! What's your name or alias? And could you mention your username?

Ennie: Hi! My name is Ennie and my tumblr username is @enniec123.

KCL: Thank you for allowing us to interview you. We are really excited about this. So let’s jump in with this question: how and when did you join the Klaroline fandom?

Ennie: Yeah, of course! I joined the Klaroline fandom because my friend is really into the show and had been telling me to watch it for a long time, so I binged all 3 shows in spring 2020.

Before watching the show, I knew the bare minimum, which was that he's a bad guy and she's a good guy, very black and white. I also knew that Klaroline was a thing and was kinda confused as to how they could be together because they were on opposite sides. Keep in mind, I knew basically nothing, and I had only really read friends to lovers ships before watching the show. Next, I watched the iconic 3x11 scene, then immediately saw why they were so loved and jumped on board so fast.

KCL: Would you say after watching the memorable 3x11 scene, that it was what drew you to Klaus and Caroline ship? Could you explain what exactly drew you in?

Ennie: 3x11 is definitely what drew me into them. In my opinion, there was nothing really platonic about that whole scene. First of all, the words he used and the way he said them were really soft and different compared to what we had seen before. Until this point, we knew him as the ruthless killer, then he becomes softer and is telling her that there is a huge world out there, waiting to be explored. The other part was that he leaned in really close while talking, and he could have put his blood in a glass and give it to her, but instead, he offered his arm, brought her close, and stroked her hair.

KCL: You answered that beautifully! Their first scene together is definitely one of the most popular ones here in the fandom! After falling in love with the Klaus and Caroline ship, do you remember the first story you've read?

Ennie: I was kind of shocked that I remembered which fic brought me into reading more Klaroline, it feels like it was forever ago, not 9-ish months. Before TVD, I was reading Gendrya fics from the GOT universe, and I knew that as soon as I started reading Klaroline fics I would not be reading other fics anymore. So, I waited a few months after finishing the show, and I think around August/September-ish I saw that one of my fav Gendrya writers also wrote 3 Klaroline fics. Then I was like "ok, maybe ill read them and see what happens."

My first fic was either Right Place, Wrong Time or When Life Changes by @psychvamp25. Then I binged all of @honestgrins one-shot/drabbles. Everything snowballed from there, and here we are today.

Right Place, Wrong Time is the fic that made me start to love time travel fics and the viking era fics. When Life Changes made me love the period fics and the ones that they were together for a long time. Then I read @bellemorte180's Original Caroline fic and I was a goner. Original Caroline is definitely one of my favorite tropes.

KCL: It's impressive that you still remember your first story! And it seems like you have spent a lot of time reading. On average, what would you say is the number of hours you have spent reading stories?

Ennie: It honestly depends on how busy I am. I like to binge stories, and read till like 2 am. I know it's a very bad habit, and I am working on it. If I am busy then maybe 1 hour-ish during the day and 2 at night so 1-3 hours. If I have a break in school, then I would read for an entire day. If I have more time while it's a school week, then maybe 3-8 hours a day, sometimes more depending on how late I stay up… I realize now that I have a problem. Yikes. A lot basically.

KCL: That's nothing to feel bad about! We’re sure that there are many others who are on the same boat as you, we certainly are! Since you do a lot of reading, do have any favourite authors? Could you share a couple of them?

Ennie: I have so many favorite authors. Here are a few: @galvanizedfriend (Yokan), coveredincolors, @honestgrins (honestgrins), @helpless-in-sleep (perfectpro), @helpfulfairy (helpfulfairy92), @lalainajanes (LalainaJ), @misssophiachase (misssophiachase), @klarolineagainnaturally (klarolineagainnaturally), @bellemorte180 (bellemorte180) and @lynyrdwrites (LynyrdLionheart).

This was really hard to choose.

KCL: We are so lucky to have so many talented authors in this community, where we can always enjoy reading new or rereading stories from them. Before we dive into your favorite story, what are you currently reading so we can add it to our reading list?

Ennie: I am currently rereading Endlessly by @slstmaraudersjple. Another one of my favies.

KCL: Thank you for sharing! We will definitely be checking it out. So far, you have mentioned your first stories and your favorite authors, but what would you say is your favorite KC story?

Ennie: Only Human by @peacefulvillagefairone is one of my favorite fics. Besides The Wolf 2, I will say this is definitely my favorite story.

KCL: We love that story too! It’s one of our favorites! In your own words, could you give us a brief summary of the story?

Ennie: I suck at summaries because I end up spoiling it, but I will try my best.

Caroline is human and wants to know more about Klaus because he doesn't open up a lot to her. She gets sent back in time to when the originals were human. From that point on, she goes on an adventure to try to get back to her time but not before trying to dodge trouble that comes her way.

KCL: That was such a great summary! And what was it that you loved about the author’s writing style?

Ennie: In my opinion, the story is very light. There is a lot of fluff but there is also a lot of plot. It's centered around time traveling and I really love that. It's about the adventures that they go on and how Caroline gets to see different versions of Klaus.

I think that the fic is a fun ride. It's a non-thinking story which I really enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I love really analytical fics that make me think a lot, but when your brain needs a break from real life and you don't want to think a lot then this fic is perfect. There are some mysteries in the fic that make you think but it gets revealed soon and there are a lot of hints so it's a fun mystery to solve without deep diving into it.

KCL: Our next question is what made you fall in love with the story? Was it the chemistry between Klaus and Caroline? The conflict in the story or maybe the character arcs?

Ennie: I thought that it was a different story because it starts with Klaus and Caroline getting together when she was human and then time traveling. I loveeeee domestic and established kc and the fic shows them being physically together but not mentally together if that makes sense.

The fic shows the progression of their trust and how deeply they fall in love with each other. While I do love fics that start with them not together, sometimes I want a long fic with a lot of fluff. This story has a balance of plot and fluff. It's a beautiful story. It's on the longer side but it makes me really happy. If I'm feeling down, then I skip around the fic to reread my favorite parts.

KCL: We agree! We enjoy a good story of Klaus and Caroline in a domestic setting too. And for our last question, what would you want to say to readers who haven't read your favorite story yet?

Ennie: I hope you read it and it brings you joy and satisfaction like it did to me.

Letter To The Author

To @peacefulvillagefairone,

Thank you for creating such amazing stories. Only Human has a special place in my heart. It was one of the first fics I have ever read and I am in love with the plotline. Time travel fics are so fun and you wrote it beautifully. I can't spoil anything for the fic but I really love a certain someone. I think that he is such a good character and the matchmaking cracked me up. The convos between present and past were so amazing. The characterizations were on point. The story is so fluffy and full of plot and it makes me so happy when I read it. When Klaus, Caroline, and the OC are together, it's so sweet. I loooovvveeeee their moments, esp the ending. The story has so many of my favorite tropes all wrapped up in 120k words *chefs kiss* Thank you once again for creating this masterpiece and sharing it with the world. 💖

From your loyal reader,

@enniec123 🍊

#klaroline library #KCL loyal reader #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline #enniec123

54 notes · View notes

magnificent-nerd · 3 years

Text

Why Naqib in The Boys sucked

Image description: fictional character Naqib in Amazon Prime’s show The Boys.

(Is the fire in the background an excuse to use racist Yellow Filter to show how exotic he is? Hmm.)

I first posted this on my blog in Dec 2020, and since nothing in superhero media has changed for the better at this time (September 5th, 2021), I’m going to keep talking about it.

Because nobody else does. So, without further ado:

WHY NAQIB SUCKS.

I was a big fan of The Boys season 1; I love superheroes, I love deconstructing a genre. Sure, it has its problems, but overall I enjoyed season 1 and thought the show had potential.

(That’ll learn me for being hopeful!)

When season 1 ended with this big build up of mostly nameless brown and background characters as Muslim terrorists (deep sigh) we the audience are left thinking this one Muslim character (Naqib) whose superpower is to blow himself up repeatedly (insert another long deep sigh here) is going to be The Big Bad of season 2.

I had my misgivings about that direction. Firstly, as you can see from the image of Naqib, he is highly exoticised and is walking around bare chested with Arabic writing on his chest. He looks more like a generic western media depiction of a genie than he does a supervillain.

And yet he's the first prominent Muslim character in superhero media I've seen in YEARS.

(See my post about MENA and Muslim character good guys, including Joe played by Marwan Kenzari in The Old Guard, which is technically a comic book movie but it’s not what I’d call ‘caped and costumed’ superheroes so it’s more... superhero adjacent.)

I follow superhero content closely and as far as I'm aware the last time we saw any named Muslim characters in superhero movies WITH SPEAKING LINES was:

Instance 1) Iron Man 1 back in 2008 with The Ten Rings in Afghanistan, showing multiple Muslim characters as baddies/terrorists, but only two of them as a named character and with any meaningful lines to say. And despite one of them, Yinsen (actor Shaun Toub), being a good guy he still dies! Which is common in western media for Muslim and MENA characters.

Note: Fellow Iron Man 1 castmate, actor Sayed Badreya, makes an important point in this GQ article: "I die in Iron Man, I die in Executive Decision. I get shot by everyone. George Clooney kills me in Three Kings. Arnold blows me up in True Lies…" (x)

Instance 2) A more recent instalment in Batman V. Superman in 2016, with some unnamed 'General' character and mercenaries/terrorists in Nairomi, Africa, referred to only as "the desert" throughout the movie. All reference to the General's actual name are available in an extended/deleted scene only, so a very poor and vague depiction in the final cut.

Instance 3) The generic and badly written ‘bad guys’ in Wonder Woman 1984 (2020 movie), which was honestly such a racist depiction of Arabs and Muslims that many critics pointed out we hadn’t seen a depiction this terrible since 1994′s True Lies. (At least most critics were in agreement that WW84 movie was generally terrible, so there’s that.)

And that's it, those are the only major instances showing any Muslim actors or characters in a caped and costumed superhero movie.

Some other fleeting glimpses of Muslims onscreen:

Glimpse 1) I spotted a girl wearing a hijab among the nameless and unspeaking background characters of Peter Parker's class in Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019). A first for Marvel movies, apparently.

Glimpse 2) Disney Plus show Falcon and Winter Soldier (2021) had two nameless Muslim characters walk by in a scene that’s supposed to be Tunisia (using Yellow Filter), and ‘thank’ the present American Air Force (eye-roll).

Glimpse 3) Netflix show Jupiter’s Legacy (2021) had a nameless Muslim sailor conversing with one of the main characters in a scene, with meaningful dialogue about racism. (WOW. Really good.) Bonus: no yellow filter. It’s a pity he’s a nameless background character because this brief instance is the least problematic MENA rep I’ve seen in ages, but it is very brief.

I just wrote about Glimpses 2 and 3, and how the Netflix show outdid Disney when it comes to these nameless walk-on Muslim characters.

This is pretty pathetic overall, these small crumbs, especially compared to better rep and probably the only instance of legit MENA superheroes in a ‘costumes and capes’ style superhero show, the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Anyway, now I’ve listed what crumbs are available across the live action superhero genre, back to The Boys.

I was intrigued about how season 2 would handle Naqib and any characters relating to him, and what storyline they'd use.

Was I excited at the possibility of seeing Muslim supers onscreen? Damn straight I was. Did I mind that they were baddies? Well, yes and no. When you only ever get crumbs or no crumbs at all, you tend to get excited over one stale old crumb.

After the build up for season 2, I eagerly sat down to watch the first episode, only to have the first five minutes of episode 1 Trigon him.

Note: who's Trigon, you ask? Well if you didn't watch the DCEU's Titans show, Trigon was The Big Bad who was hyped up throughout season 1, introduced in the season 1 cliff-hanger episode as this big 'oh shit!' moment for the cast of heroes, only for him to fizzle out like a wet fart in the first episode of season 2 while the show pivots wildly in another direction.

Exactly what happened to Naqib in the first five minutes of The Boys season 2.

Erm, so, Naqib. Farewell, I guess? As a character you briefly appeared in 2 episodes, portrayed by a different actor in each (Krishan Dutt, and Samer Salem). It seems the writers used you as a plot device when they needed a cheap cliff-hanger for a direction that ultimately went nowhere.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, I am. Overall I thought season 2 of The Boys was weaker than season 1, but I'm not here to talk about the whole season: I want to talk about Naqib and this missed opportunity.

The Boys and its showrunners sell the show as being a satire of recent and well known superhero content, of all the big movies and TV shows. There's been a lot of patting themselves on the back for calling out overused tropes in superhero media (and sometimes they've done this satire well: see the LGBT marketing scene with Queen Maeve in season 2), but my issue with the show on their Muslim rep, or should I say lack thereof, is if your show has even less Muslim character rep than the content you're trying to parody, how is this a win for satire?

Naqib and that whole angle came across as a lazy, half-assed swing from the writer's room. Sure, perhaps a lot of the non-Muslim and non-MENA audience won't even notice, as we've been ignored by western media or made into nameless, generic, vacuous baddies for decades now. Non-Muslims and non-MENA just accept that we're always the baddies for no particular reason at all (which feeds into Islamophobia, by the way) and The Boys' writers could say they are simply satirising the tropes already present in media...

But, and this is a big but, the media that The Boys is satirising has already made a step toward better inclusion and representation: Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan), Marvel comics' first Muslim superhero, is entering the MCU as a lead character in her own Disney Plus show, debuting in 2022.

Ms. Marvel/Kamala Khan is also cited to appear in upcoming Captain Marvel sequel, The Marvels (2022), which will be a major movie.

The MCU has also cast a Muslim actor (Mahershala Ali) as the lead in a reboot of Blade. That's going to be big news when it starts filming.

So to the showrunners on The Boys, I say this: now you've done this small angle of 'all Muslim characters are terrorists, yuckity-yuck!' like we've seen in major superhero movies thus far, and you've brushed that aside in favor of focusing on other whiter villains, my question is will you come back to Muslim and MENA characters again? Or is that all you got?

Because if that was ALL, then the current score is Disney/MCU:02, Netflix:02, DCEU:02, and The Boys: a big ZERO as far as Muslim and MENA rep goes.

Originally posted on my blog, magnificently nerdy.

If you, like me, are always on the lookout for onscreen Muslim and MENA characters in superhero media, and have spotted any characters in superhero TV shows I haven’t watched yet, let me know about them!

Here is my post on good guys, featuring Old Guard’s Joe, and Blindspot’s Rich Dotcom.

Here’s my post about the Tarazi siblings on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow TV show.

And, if Marvels’ Eternals gets released on schedule for 2021, we will have a MENA actor portraying a supporting character. I just hope Marvel gives him a name.

17 notes · View notes

missaudreyhorney · 4 years

Text

The Big Game

Modern AU where Jim Hopper is at your parent’s house for a Super Bowl party. That isn’t a plot so much as it is a very flimsy excuse for me to write out some dirty thoughts I have after seeing this photo of David Harbour looking like an absolute DILF.

Content Warnings: Rated M for age gap, kissing, over-the-clothes touching, a bit of Daddy kink, a little physical intimidation. All that good stuff. Female Reader. Slightly OOC for the sake of funsies. 1.6k words.

Tagging @t-u-m-s. Anyone else want to be tagged when I post something new? Let me know.

“I know you said not to bring anything,” you announce as you walk into your parents’ house from the garage, “but mom told me the doctor said you should be watching your diet.” You place the tray of vegetables on the kitchen counter and turn towards the living room. “So I brought you some ve-” your words are cut off by the sight of an unfamiliar man sitting on the couch.

He’s wearing jeans, a dark grey polo shirt, and a black baseball cap that’s on backward. Just his profile alone is stunning. Thick eyebrows, an adorably pointy nose, and a strong jaw covered by a short, scruffy beard. He turns to look at you and it feels as if your heart stops.

“Hopper, you’ve met my daughter before, right?” your father says as he stands up from the chair to greet you.

“No,” the man answers coldly, eyes now fixed on the tv.

Your father comes into the kitchen and gives you a hug. “That was very nice of you, sweetie, but your mom’s been making me eat vegetables every day. This is the Super Bowl. All I want today is wings and potato skins.”

You hear his words clearly but they don’t register in your head. You’re much too distracted by this Hopper person you’ve never seen or even heard about before.

“Where’s everybody else?” you wonder aloud.

“They’re not here yet. This is just the pregame stuff,” your father clarifies.

Hopper glances at you again and you feel like you’re melting as you lean into the countertop. He’s so hot. Nothing like the boys you go to school with. Nothing like a boy at all. He is one hundred percent man.

“You wanna get a snack and join us?” your father requests in a jovial tone.

“Um, I have to, uh, put this other stuff away,” you point to the bag of groceries on the floor next to you.

“Oh, right,” your father acknowledges.

“Where’s mom?”

“Getting a couple of last-minute things for the party. She’ll be back soon.”

You roll your eyes. “I told her I would do that.”

“You know your mother, “ he says, walking back into the living room. “She never listens.”

You take a moment to admire Hopper before removing the food you’ve purchased from the bag. His arms are tantalizing, with the type of muscle not built from going to the gym, but from moving furniture, fixing cars, and other forms of manual labor. Seeing the veins in his hand as he drinks a bottle of beer makes you lick your lips. You can’t stop yourself from shooting him more glances as you finish putting the remainder of the groceries in their rightful place.

There’s no way you can sit in there with that gorgeous man and pretend to be calm or make casual conversation. Instead, you slowly and carefully make your way upstairs to your bedroom, or rather, what used to be your bedroom before you started college. Leaning against the inside of the door and taking a deep breath, you pull your phone from your pocket to distract you.

Your mother arrives about ten minutes later, with a football-shaped ice cream cake, and you admonish her appropriately. Soon after, more people show up to the party and the game starts.

With increasing frequency, your eyes drift over to the handsome stranger still on the couch, and within time, his begin to drift towards you as well. You try to keep busy by topping off people’s drinks, refilling the chip bowls, and putting more snacks in the oven but it’s ultimately no use. You can’t avert your gaze for longer than 5 minutes at the most.

Every time you catch him looking at you, heat rises in your chest and radiates out through your limbs. Under normal circumstances, you would welcome this feeling, but with so many sets of eyes surrounding you, the feeling is almost embarrassing. You don’t know how much more of it you can take and you have to get out of there. Not necessarily out of the house, but just away from Hopper.

During a detergent commercial, you try to sneak back upstairs. When your mother asks where you’re going, you tell her that you’re not feeling well and you need to lie down. It is at least partially the truth.

Sitting down on the small bed, you begin to scroll through Instagram to get your mind off of him and you quickly lose track of time. A while later, you hear someone ascending the staircase. Standing in the doorway of your room and looking down the hall, you see Hopper’s impossibly long legs lumbering up the steps.

“What are you doing up here?” you question quietly.

“It’s halftime,” he declares as he closes the space in between your bodies. His scent is so manly, like tobacco and aftershave.

You take a step back. “Don’t you want to see...whoever it is that’s performing?”

“No,” he answers, entering the room. “I want to see you.” His voice is low and deep, causing your thighs to gently quiver.

“H-Hopper, right?” you stammer, breath getting caught in your throat.

“You can call me Jim,” he offers. It's not until you're this close up to him that you see how incredible his eyes are. They're such an unusually dark shade of blue.

“Okay...Jim.” You can feel your cheeks flush as you utter his name.

He looks around and takes a sip of his beer. “Is this your old room?”

“Yeah,” you answer, “haven’t lived here in years though.”

“Who’s Troy?” he asks you with a slight chuckle.

You give him a confused expression, completely unaware of who or what he’s referring to. He points to the wall behind you and you turn your head to look.

“Oh,” you laugh nervously, seeing your old Troy Bolton poster. “It’s Zac Efron. I used to have a crush on him.”

He nods his head in recognition.

“My tastes have…matured since then though.”

“Have they?” he asks with his curiosity piqued.

You nod vigorously as he approaches you like a lion stalking a young gazelle. Attempting to be coy, you back away, until your legs hit the bed and there’s nowhere else to go.

He puts his beer bottle on the nightstand. “What’s your taste in men like now?”

“Older,” you admit, looking up into his beautiful eyes.

“How much older?” His hands clasp around either side of your waist.

“I don’t know,” you answer breathlessly as your hands move up to his shoulders. “About 20 years?”

As soon as the words are out of your mouth, his lips are on yours in a fiery kiss. Something about this feels wrong, but at the same time, oh so right. You do have a genuine preference for older men, but one that’s friends with your father is really pushing it. As much as you hate to admit it, part of that excites you. It turns you on that he’s in his 40’s and there are a dozen or so people downstairs who could catch you two together at any moment.

Your mouth gasps against his when he shoves you backward and you both fall onto the twin-sized bed. He tastes like beer, a flavor you’re not fond of, but the absolute last thing you want to do right now is to stop. Suddenly, his left hand pulls your hair, yanking your head to the side to give his mouth better access to your neck. He kisses and sucks your sensitive skin there, making you squirm with equal parts pleasure and arousal.

“Oh, Daddy,” you breathe as he nibbles on your earlobe.

“Did you just call me Daddy?” he whispers.

“Yes,” you confess. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I liked it.”

You moan as his teeth graze your skin. The way he’s biting and sucking on you, it feels like he’s going to leave a mark, and at this point, you don’t even care. You don’t care about anything at all other than the way your body feels underneath him and his wanton mouth.

Another moan tumbles from your lips as run your fingers up his hairy forearms and grasp onto his biceps.

“Not so loud, huh? They’re gonna hear us.”

“You should have shut the door,” you reprimand halfheartedly. The sensation of his beard scratching the flesh over your collarbone has you pushing your hips into him.

“Too late for that now,“ he dismisses as his palm presses just below the zipper on your jeans.

Again you let out a moan, this one strained as you try and fail to be quiet.

“Why haven’t I seen you here before?” he inquires, his fingers now massaging against the denim.

“I’ve been at school,” you pant out.

“Well, you’re just going to have to come over here more often, aren’t you?” he prompts.

“Yes, Daddy!” you moan as the fingers of his free hand start to slide up the back of your t-shirt towards your bra.

“Hey, Hopper. You up there?” your father calls from downstairs.

Slapping a hand down on his head to keep his hat in place, Hopper jumps up from the bed and sprints to the door. “Yeah, I’m, uh, just looking for the bathroom.”

In a daze, you close your eyes and stay on the bed. It’s not until now that you notice how much your blood is pumping and your heart is pounding. With a resigned whimper, you realize that you’re aching with an overwhelming need left by his immense hand rubbing you through your jeans.

“Hurry up. The game is about to start again.” The sound of your father’s voice is a massive buzzkill.

“I’ll see you later, alright?” Hopper suggests to you as he stands in the doorway.

You don’t know what that means exactly but you’re looking forward to finding out. “Alright,” you sigh.

READ PART 2 HERE!

#Jim Hopper drabble #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper x you #Hopper x You #Hopper x Reader #hard Jim Hopper #female reader #I did it #The Big Game #WTW #jim hopper fanfiction

537 notes · View notes

four-rabbit · 3 years

Text

My best friend died in the 90′

Ok, so, this is part of an ghost AU that I have and probably will be talking about in the future, where Virgil is a ghost and them and Remus are best friends, (this is not the main plot but anyway, like I said, I'll talk about it in later)

However, while this doesn't happen, please have this oneshot about Remus and Virgil meeting each other

Summary: Remus never had any friends, but that changed when he decided to go to the cemetery in the middle of the night, just to meet Virgil, a kid that besides being just as weird as Remus, happens to be dead.

(For a little bit of context: in this fanfic Remus comes from a family where eveyone can speak to ghosts, on his mom side, at least, but unlike Roman, Remus was never able to talk to a ghost before meeting Virgil)

Characters: Remus Sanders, Virgil sanders, mentions to Roman Sanders

Warnings: swearing (specifically a kid swearing), discussions of death, mentions of a fight and bullying.

Obs: in this au Virgil uses exclusively they/them pronouns and Remus uses he/it. This is not a genderbend version of Remus.

I've always been the weird child so it seemed appropriate that my first friend had been dead for more than a decade.

It's a funny story: I had gotten to another fight, I even lost a tooth that day and probably would have lost two if I hadn't run away the moment the fucking coward that called himself a bully invited his friends for help. I may be fast but I can only bite so many people at once.

I didn't want to go home because Roman would be worried and my parents would be angry, which was the usual, but getting bullied was also the usual, didn't mean that I couldn't get tired of it, that's why I decided to go to the cemetery I mean, why not?

I knew I was far from my house because it took me less than ten minutes to reach it. My parents moved to as far as possible from there the moment Roman was born, the guy can't stand even getting closer to it, which I founded stupid at the time. I would give anything to have the stupid paranormal sensitivity that he was so afraid of instead of being the disappointment of the family.

Turns out he was right for being afraid.

After a quick look I confirmed that there was no other living soul at the cemetery besides me, so I smiled and sat on the closest gravestone. Mom always said that we should respect the dead and their resting place or else they would teach us a lesson or whatever but I was fine with that because I had decided a long ago that If a ghost showed themself to me it would be the coolest freaking thing ever. I kicked the gravestone weakly, as if knocking on a door. That thought made me giggle as I imagined a ghost appearing in pajamas, angry at me for disturbing them that late at night. I kicked again, this time a little harder.

"Stop that" someone mumbled besides me. I immediately got to my feet, thinking that the gravedigger had seen me but fortunately I didn't see an angry adult, but a kid. They were using a black hoodie and had equally dark hair falling on their face. They were pale as a dead body, fat and tall, basically the opposite of me, an unhealthily skinny latino little shit. I snorted.

"What are you gonna do about it?" I kicked the gravestone once more. They seemed startled, backing up a little.

"You- you can see me?"

"Why wouldn't- OH MY GOD YOU'RE A GHOST?!" I screamed not even caring if someone could hear me. Virgil cared.

"Sshh! I-" they seemed disconcerted but gave up with a sigh "Yes, I'm"

"Oh! Holy shit! Is that your gravestone?! Is that why you appeared when I kicked it?!" I jumped in excitement, getting close to them to take a closer look at my most recent discovery.

"No, I just don't think you should kick it. It's disrespectful"

"Yeah, whatever! Oh my god I can't believe I'm seeing a ghost! Suck it, mom, I knew I could do it too!" I exclaimed to nothing in particular as if she could hear me. "What's your name?"

"No- look, I'm sorry, I didn't think you could see me, I just- I should go" they said in the classic "I want to get rid of you" that everyone used after talking to me for more than five minutes. I started to get desperate, this was my first time seeing a ghost, I wouldn't let them leave that easily.

"No, don't go! I promise that I'm cool! Sorry for kicking your friend's gravestone, I don't know, please stay!" I begged and I guess my irresistible cuteness touched their heart because they turned to look at me again.

"He's not my friend," Virgil explained. "Just an old ghost that doesn't like to be bothered." they looked down shyly and I thought that was cute. "My name is Virgil. What's yours?"

"My name-" I always hated to tell people my deadname, I just didn't know why at the time "You can call me the Duke because my name is shit I really hate it y'know, it really sucks ass" They probably raised an eyebrow, it was hard to tell with all that hair failing on their face, but didn't say anything besides:

"Why not the duchess?"

"Because I don't want to" replied, crossing my arms as if challenging them to disagree. Virgil looked me up and down, processing my appearance. I was using dirty green legs, a black dress that my mom insisted that I wore for school and an old all star. Their eyes stopped at my face, with my bloody nose and the missing tooth. "What happened to your face?"

"Oh yeah I got into a fight! But it's cool, I'm not afraid of those assholes" now they seemed worried.

"Why did you get into a fight?"

"Just the usual, he stole my lunch, pushed me out of my bike, called me some bad words and I bit him. Y'know everyone thinks blood is so gross but I kinda like the taste." I looked at them, trying to see their reactions. I couldn't see their eyes but I'm sure they widened as Virgil got closer, saying in the same worried tone that Roman used:

"You should be careful! Have you told your parents?! Do you have any friends to walk with you? Or you could tell a teacher! No, forget it, teachers never help, at least not when I was alive. Is there anyone you can trust to protect you?"

"Wow, chill, I can take care of myself"

"I'm serious, Duke!" I rolled my eyes. I hated when people treated me as some fragile girl that couldn't take care of herself. Turned out I just hated that people treated me like a girl.

"Why do you care? I just met you"

"Because-" Virgil changed their mind mid phrase. Can't blame them, I wouldn't share my backstory and the reason I died that easily either if I was a ghost. "You seem nice, I don't want you to get hurt" I don't think anyone had ever called me nice by that time. Weird, gross, disturbing, problem child, ungracious I had always heard, but nice was new, even Roman just called me "cool" or "brave" at best. So, of course, I got defensive.

"Hm. Want me to tell you what he, Peter by the way, is the name of the asshole, yeah, he's a big asshole, what Peter and his friends called me?!" Again, Virgil barely reacted to my swearing and I was starting to get frustrated, it was always an easy way to get some fun reactions, especially from adults.

"Not really…" as they would learn in the years that followed, that kind of phrase rarely stopped me from speaking.

"He called me a bitch! That's when I bit him, actually, he was like, listen here you little bitch and he pointed his finger at my face and I bit it and I almost ripped it off I swear!" I looked at them, waiting for their reaction, already imagining what it would be. I was young but I had lived enough to mainly aim for negative responses just because they were better than no response at all. Virgil stayed in silence for longer than I wanted which was like the most boring response.

"How old are you, Duke?"

"I'm going to be nine in three months! How old are you?"

"I died when I was ten."

"Cool! I was never friends with an older kid!" I was never friends with anyone besides Roman, but anyway. "I mean, you're my friend, right?" They didn't answer immediately, but then Virgil opened a smile and probably decided they were going to protect that little chaotic gremlin.

"Yeah, I guess I’m.”

#ghost au #Dukexiety #remus sanders #virgil sanders #cw swearing #tw death mention #tw bullying mention #rabbit writes

35 notes · View notes

xbaepsae · 4 years

Text

it’s complicated (m)

“You are long past the point of no return. The rational part of you is screaming that this is a terrible idea, that this is bound to ruin your friendship with Tae. But you can’t find it in yourself to really care. You want him, so badly you are about to burst.”

[taehyung x reader]

genre: friends with benefits!au, eventual friends to lovers!au, a lot of angst, smut

word count: 14.4k

rating: mature

warnings: loss of virginity, toxic relationship, confused/frustrated characters, unprotected sex (10/10 don’t recommend), oral, creampie, language, mentions of alcohol

a/n: this is a reupload! i honestly wasn’t going to post this fic again, because i have so many other new ideas i want to write about, but i reread this the other day and it’s actually so good?? lol. i wrote it so long ago, but wowowow i still felt the angst in my soul. also, fyi, like all of my reuploads, i’ve changed a few things (not the overall plot tho). xoxo

It all began in tenth grade English class.

At first, Kim Taehyung seems any other kid in your class—perhaps, a little loud at times but still just a boy. But that was just until you were partnered with him on a project. Least to say, you two became fast friends once you realized how funny the guy was. He could bring a smile to your face no matter the circumstances.

This friendship between you two blossomed quickly; but soon, there’s a slight shift in the air around you both.

“Y/n,” Taehyung says your name, sprawled on your bed with you.

It’s summertime, which means days seem to drag on and on. This also means that you two have nothing better to do, choosing to lazily lounge around each other’s houses. Your parents are never home anyway since they worked, so having Tae’s company is always greatly appreciated.

But despite the lackluster summer, school starts in a few weeks and the thought is bittersweet. You are happy to be occupied again, but also sad since going back to school means you no longer get to spend so much time with Taehyung. Although you both became close at school, that doesn’t mean you’ll always get to be around each other there.

“What?” you ask, turning to look at him.

“So, this might sound a little weird…but…” he trails off. “Fuck. I can’t; it’s too weird.”

You turn so you’re lying on your side, “What is it, Tae? We’re friends, right? You can tell me anything.”

Taehyung glances at you, clearly struggling with himself.

“I-I…can I kiss you?” he asks the question so fast you think maybe you just imagined it. But when you notice that his face is beat red, you realize that you did hear him right. This causes you to flush as well, a weird sensation beginning to bubble through your body.

“Where is this coming from?” you manage to ask him.

“I don’t know,” Tae admits with a shrug.

You find yourself shifting awkwardly on the bed as silence starts to fill the room. What are you supposed to say? Taehyung is your friend; you enjoy being around him and he makes you smile. But he wants to kiss you…what is that even supposed to mean?

“You know what?” he suddenly breaks the ice. “Forget I even said—”

“Okay,” you cut him off fast, not even fully registering what you say.

Taehyung snaps his head to you, mouth dropping, “What?”

“I said okay—you, I mean, we can kiss.”

You say all of this relatively calm, despite the fact that you feel like your whole body is on fire. Tae stares into your eyes, seemingly searching for something. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” you gulp nervously. “I mean, this is just for fun, right?”

Something passes over Taehyung’s eyes, but you don’t catch it fast enough. The emotion fades away and you can only assume it didn’t mean anything.

“Yeah…fun,” he says, licking his bottom lip.

Unintentionally, your eyes travel down to his plump lips and you can’t seem to look away. Has he always had such nice lips? You find yourself asking all these questions that you don’t even notice how close Tae has gotten to you, merely inches away. His breath gently fans across your face and the reality of the situation hits you. This is going to be your first kiss…ever. And to say you are freaking out would be an understatement. It’s not that you so much oppose the idea of kissing, you just haven’t met the right guy.

Looking into the eyes of your friend, you feel warmth flood your cheeks. “Tae…”

He blinks, “Yes?”

“Have you ever kissed someone?” The question rolls off your tongue.

Instead of answering your question, Tae does something else you don’t expect. Of course, you know it was going to happen eventually, but the action simultaneously takes your breath away and surprises you.

He kisses you.

Your eyes close on their own accord, reveling at how soft his lips are as they cover yours. A part of you almost can’t believe that you’re kissing him—Kim Taehyung; your friend, the boy you do everything with. What’s most unbelievable is that you actually like kissing him.

As the kiss becomes deeper, you feel yourself being pushed against the bed; Tae’s body covering half your own. You open your mouth a little wider, letting his tongue press against your own. His hands are now on each side of your body, slightly tangled in your hair. After a while you pull away, gasping for air.

“Oh my god,” you mutter breathlessly, blowing some air out of your mouth.

Taehyung is still above you.; and when you look into his eyes, you almost jerk away. “Y/n…”

“Hmm?” you ask, shy all of the sudden.

And then it hits you—he probably thinks your unexperienced ass is a bad kisser. This thought makes you feel like a total fool. It’s just flat out embarrassing because you surprisingly liked kissing him and he thought you—

“Can I kiss you again?”

You almost fall off your bed. “What?”

He lowers his head until his hair brushes your face, “I’d like to kiss you again…”

At his words, you can feel your whole body flush from a mixture of relief, excitement, and embarrassment.

“So…I’m not a bad kisser?” you find yourself asking.

Tae snaps his gaze to you, “What would you think that?”

“I-I,” you feel your ears getting hot, “I don’t know. I just thought that since…you know…I’ve never kissed someone, I probably sucked.”

Before you can explain yourself some more, he captures your lips again—effectively silencing you. This kiss is a lot quicker than the first one, but it leaves you just as dizzy and at a loss for words.

“You’re great,” he says, a cheeky smile gracing his face. You can’t help but return the smile since his is just so contagious.

The rest of this day is spent with more so-called just-for-fun kisses. The highly rational part of you claims that this is all normal—that making out with your friend is completely fine; but the emotional part of you knows that everything will never be the same—that making out with your friend is sure to have its consequences.

***

When school starts again, you almost forget about Taehyung’s kisses.

The keyword is: almost.

In your busy school schedule, you manage to somehow snag a free period. It’s a godsend, especially since you needed a study hall period to balance all the homework you had. Since it was a free period, you can spend the hour anywhere in the school. And you end up choosing one of the back corners of the library where the reference books are.

No one ever comes to this part of the library anyway, except for the librarian but that was rare. So, it’s nice and quiet. You spend the first few days of study hall doing what study hall is supposed to be used for—studying and completing homework. But as the end of the first week rolls around, you discover that study hall might not be so quiet anymore.

This particular day of study hall starts off normal. You arrive at the library, which is pretty much empty except for a few scattered students here and there, and make your way to the corner you’ve pretty much claimed as your own. When you reach that part of the library, you set your things down and pull out your homework. Just as you start the fifth problem on your calculus worksheet, someone suddenly covers your eyes.

You let out a scream, but it’s muted by a hand. You begin to furiously kick and you turn around, prepared to fight. And just as you bring your hands up, your eyes regain their sight and you see who is responsible for the unexpected attack.

“Taehyung!” you scream, and he covers your mouth again.

“Be quiet, y/n!” he reprimands. “Don’t you know this is a library?”

With his hand still over half your face, you roll your eyes. When he finally removes his hand, you roughly shove the boy. “What the fuck, Tae?!”

“What?” he asks rather innocently.

“What?” you mock. “Why did you have to do that? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

He just shrugs and takes a seat beside you, “I just wanted to surprise you, that’s all.”

You return your attention back to your worksheet, ignoring him. You manage do a few more problems before Tae speaks again. “Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?”

You don’t even look up. “I honestly don’t care.”

“I mean, are you not the least bit curious as to why I’m not in class right now?”

“No, I don’t care why you’re not—” you snap your head up. Holy shit. “Why aren’t you in chemistry?”

The moment you two received your schedules, you compared classes. Unfortunately, you both wouldn’t share any classes together until after winter break. And while you had your free period, Taehyung was supposed to be in chemistry…so, why is he here in the library?

When he doesn’t respond, you freak out a bit, “Oh my god, Tae! Why are you skipping class? Your teacher is going to be so—”

Taehyung interrupts you by suddenly placing a chaste kiss in your lips. You’re struck speechless for a moment, completely caught off guard.

“I switched my class,” he says with a smile.

“Why did you do that?”

“So I could do this for a whole hour,” he says, then places another kiss on your lips.

You laugh at his words, “You know we can’t actually do that, right? I really need this study hall to do homework.”

He absentmindedly waves his hand, “Yeah, yeah—you can do that too, I guess.”

“Are you serious though? You really changed your class just to come here and make out with me?” As you ask your questions, you are just teasing him. But at the same time, a smidge of you feels a bit dejected if all he wants to do is kiss you.

Not that you didn’t like kissing Taehyung, because all the kissing you two had been doing is great, but it made your relationship seem superficial if that was the only reason.

“Of course not,” he assures you. “I also really just want to spend time with you too. To go from spending every day together to practically not seeing each other is weird.”

“Agreed,” you smile. “How did you find me anyway?”

It was a logical question. Although Tae did know before that you had study hall, you never told him where exactly you spent your days.

“I just followed you from your last class,” he says like it’s nothing, but your eyes widen.

Another what the fuck leaves your mouth as you stare at your friend, “You’ve been in here the whole time?”

“I mean, I had to find where you were somehow,” he tells you. “By the way, you walk so damn fast.”

You roll your eyes at the boy, not understanding him at all. Even though he had unconventional ways of doing things, in the end, he still made you smile. For the rest of the hour, you somehow find the time to finish your math worksheet in-between the kisses that Taehyung keeps giving you. When the bell rings, signaling the end of the hour, you begin to back up your things.

“Where you headed to now?”

You look at Tae and tell him where, even though he knows the answer already, “English. You?”

Health. “Health.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy that…”

“The teacher isn’t that bad,” he smiles as you give him a look.

“He’s terrible,” you say. “End of discussion.”

Taehyung picks up his bag, smile still ever present, “Just because you didn’t make an A—”

“End of discussion.”

You sling you backpack around your back and begin to walk away. But before you can even get far, something pulls you back. You land right onto Taehyung’s chest; being this close to him, you can feel the slight muscle definition under his flimsy uniform and warmth pools in your chest.

“What?” you ask, turning around.

“Have a good rest of your day,” he says. “See you here tomorrow?”

Nodding, you open your mouth to respond, only to be interrupted by Tae’s kiss that he gives before dashing away. He leaves you alone scattered brain and at a loss for words.

“…See you,” you say once your brain can finally function again. “Tomorrow.”

***

Afternoons spent in the library become something you look forward to everyday.

Even though it’s only an hour, it’s an hour you cherish with Taehyung. Some days, all you do is homework—completely ignoring the poor boy who simply wanted your attention; and other days, you two talk and talk and talk about anything and everything. There is never a dull, quiet moment between you two. There is always something to be shared; to be told.

Because of this, your admiration for the boy grows more and more each day.

You are captivated by the stories he tells you in that vacant part of the library. From the way his animated eyes light up to the wide curve of his boxy grin, an hour never feels long enough. As he tells you his stories, all you can do is stare and smile. You’ve only known Taehyung for a few months, but it feels like you two have been friends forever.

…Friends who kiss, a little voice in your head always likes to remind you.

Kissing. You two are doing that quite a lot now. Every chance he has, he plants his lips on to yours. The action makes you swoon and confused all at the same time. You just don’t get it. It’s not that you don’t enjoy all the kissing, but it’s confusing. Does Taehyung like you? Or does he not? And it’s that you want to be with him, as his girlfriend…though perhaps a small part of you does, but you want him to be clear about his relationship with you.

And that clarification never comes.

Tae continues with the kisses, and you just learn to accept the fact that maybe your friend just likes to kiss you. It get to the point where you no longer even question or become surprised when the action appears out of nowhere.

But little do you know that this is just the beginning of something tragic.

***

In the blink of an eye, the fall semester ends.

You and Taehyung rejoice as you both finish it rather decently; getting good marks in all of your classes. Celebrations are in the making, but a spontaneous trip from your parents brings all plans to a halt.

“You’re going where?” Taehyung asks you, eyes wide and mouth parted.

“To spend the holidays with my aunt who lives in the States,” you repeat, not able to look him in the eyes.

You two have been laying in his bed playing video games, until you dropped the bomb on him. And it’s not like you’ve known about the trip for a while, you just found out from your parents yesterday. Honestly, you hadn’t planned to do much during break. If anything, you just wanted to spend time with Tae and catch up on sleep. But then your parents surprised you, and you couldn’t say no.

“B-But…that’s an entire ocean away.”

You look at the boy who has easily become your best friend, “I know—and it’s not like I really want to go, but I haven’t seen my aunt in a while. Plus, my parents already bought me the ticket and—”

“It’s okay,” he cuts your explanation off, a strained smile encasing his face. “You enjoy visiting your aunt.”

“Tae…” you know he’s probably really mad.

He only shakes his head “No, really, it’s not like we didn’t already makes plans to hang out or anything.”

“Taehyung,” now you find yourself getting mad. “Stop.”

“I’m just bummed, y/n. What am I supposed to do during break now?”

You shrug, “I don’t know. Go to a party, get drunk, and maybe kiss a few girls.”

As you say the last part, your heart starts hammering in your chest. You don’t even know why you said it at all since you can’t even begin to imagine it happening. Just the thought of another girl kissing Tae makes you green with jealously. But you know you don’t even have the right to feel such things; you aren’t his keeper.

You wait for him to respond, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I was joking,” you attempt to laugh, but it sounds forced. “But really—have fun. You don’t need me for that.”

And that’s when he gives you a look that nearly paralyzes you. His gaze is filled with so many emotions you can’t decipher, and it travels down to your core. He stares at you for so long you feel your blood pressure start to spike.

“I guess,” he says in a lower voice. You don’t know what else to say, so silence begins pooling in his room. It becomes too much to handle so you get off the bed.

“I should go,” you say, awkwardly getting your things. “I still have to pack.”

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Taehyung doesn’t even look at you; instead, he stares at the ceiling.

You’re about to nod, but then catch yourself. “Yeah, I am.”

“When do you get back?”

Hesitation gnaws at your lips, “The day before school starts again.”

You search your friends face for a sign—any sign—but he’s completely passive. A sigh leaves you lips as you back out of his room. When you reach the door, you stop and brace yourself against it.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize for reasons you don’t even really understand. But Tae is still in the same position and doesn’t even glance your way. You sigh again before muttering a soft goodbye and leaving.

The entire time you’re away, you don’t get a single message or phone call from him.

It wouldn’t have affected you so much if you knew why. Obviously, Taehyung is mad at you, but you didn’t know the reason. And the boy has never been angry at you before; so you don’t know how to deal or how to make it better.

Even though you don’t know why he hasn’t tried to contact you, it doesn’t stop you. When you landed in the States, you texted him. On Christmas Eve, you called three times. On Christmas day, you called and left a ridiculously long voicemail—along with a few extra texts as well. Despite these efforts, you get nothing; you don’t even know if he’s reading these texts because he doesn’t have his read receipts on.

So, a few days before New Year’s, you decide to go home early. You don’t want to end the year on a bad note with Tae, and you also don’t want to start the year off not speaking. Somehow, you manage to get back the afternoon of New Year’s Eve. And the second you get home, you go to his house.

Knocking on the front door like a maniac, you pray that he hadn’t taken your advice and decided just to lounge around his house over break. Your heart is beating erratically as his mom answers the door.

“Oh, hi y/n,” she greets you with a warm smile. “How was your trip?”

“Hey, Mrs. Kim; it was good. Is Taehyung home?” you cut right to the chase.

But disappointment begins to fill you when her smile falters, “I’m sorry, y/n; he’s actually hasn’t been home all day.”

You nearly fall to the ground at her words. “What? Do you know where he is?”

“I’ve tried calling him, but he hasn’t answered. I guess he didn’t know you were coming home?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to be home for another few days,�� you admit, and his mother nods. “I-I just couldn’t…I mean…I just…I missed him.” Saying the words out loud brings a weight off your shoulders, but also makes your chest ache.

“He’s missed you too,” she says, smiling again. “He’s been sulking around the house this entire month—I think today’s the first day he’s been out.” They do say that mothers know best, so knowing that Taehyung missed you makes your heart soar high.

“Do you have any idea where he might be?” desperation laces your words.

Mrs. Kim shakes her head, “He has old friends, but I don’t think he’s talked to them since meeting you.”

Why is this so difficult? You continue your conversation with his mom to think about the boy’s whereabouts, but soon realize how late it’s gotten. You figure that you should probably just go home. So, feeling a bit defeated, you wish his mom a Happy New Year and walk back to your house.

On the way there, you run through various places he might be. You try to think back to before you left—to the plans you two made together. Did he mention anything in particular that he wanted to do? You replay old conversations and then it suddenly hits you like a freight truck. Quickly, you whip out your phone and call Yoon, one of your childhood friends.

After three rings, she picks up, “Hello? Y/n…?”

“Hey…” you trail off.

On the other end, you can hear a heavy bass thumping, “Well, I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

You tell her that you can’t hear anything she’s saying, so she moves somewhere quieter and repeats her words. You can’t help but roll your eyes at her petty tone. “Like you even have time for me. You and your boyfriend are always—”

“So, what’s up?” she cuts you off and you laugh a bit.

“Where are you?”

“At a party at Jay’s house, why?”

Bingo. “Thanks, that’s all I needed to know.”

“Woah,” you hear her say, “is little miss goody-two-shoes going to make an appearance?”

“We’ll see,” you tell her.

After hanging up, you run the rest of the way home. The party Yoon was at was hosted by the one and only Jay. He’s a senior at your school and notorious for his parties. They are the best, but exclusive to upper-classmen—juniors and seniors only. Everyone couldn’t wait until they were promoted to those grades.

The one thing you remember Tae saying was that he wanted to attend one this year—that’s where he has to be tonight.

***

As you walk up the steps to Jay’s elaborate mansion, it was beyond huge, you feel your nerves twist up in a bundle. You figured that since this is a party, albeit a New Year’s Eve party, you should probably look somewhat nice—just so you kind of blend in. You opt for a black dress that hugs whatever curves you do have and your basic strappy heels. Hopefully no one’s going to question you.

When you reach the door, you’re surprised to find that it opens easily. Walking in, you’re blown away by the sheer amount of people. You thought that since the house is so big, there would be room inside. Wrong. People are packed wall-to-wall.

As soon as the door shuts behind you, you see Yoon standing not too far from you. Relief fills you at the sight of a familiar face. You call out her name and she, thankfully, hears, turning around to your direction.

“Y/n!” she exclaims, running up to you. “You look sexy!”

You feel a blush creep onto your face, “Thanks?”

“Who you dressing up for?”

“I’m just trying to blend in,” you say, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face. “But can you help me find someone?”

“So, there is someone,” she wiggles her brows. “Who?”

“Taehyung,” you say his name all too fast.

“As in Kim Taehyung?” Yoon raises a brow. “Is he that guy you’ve been hanging out with?”

“What other Taehyung is there? Have you seen him? I think he’s supposed to be here. God I hope—”

Yoon places a hand over your mouth, “Clam down, tiger. I’ll ask one of Jay’s friends—they know everybody.”

You watch as she walks away from you and to a guy a few feet away. She whispers something in his ear and he nods, whispering something back. Yoon seems pleased with the answer and comes back to you.

“So?” you ask impatiently.

“They say he’s here,” you immediately brighten up, feeling like a genius for guessing his location right, “but they don’t know where exactly he is.”

Your eyes automatically begin searching the room, “That’s okay; I’ll find him. Thanks again Yoon.”

Before Yoon can say anything else, you’re lost in the crowd of sweaty people. As you walk through the crowd, your eyes desperately search for his. This is going to be impossible—there are so many people here. You walk through the numerous living areas and even the kitchen, but there’s no sign of Tae anywhere.

After a while, you check the time and see that it was an hour until midnight; an hour till the start of the New Year. And you’re on the verge of going back home. The feeling of jet lag is starting to weigh you down as the adrenaline begins to drain away. The flight back home was long, and you couldn’t really sleep due to the anticipation of everything that awaited you here.

You are now walking down some hallway, the music of the party booming behind you. The sense of direction’s completely loss to you—you have no idea where you were. But just as you’re about to reach the end of the hall, someone comes up behind you.

They grab ahold of your body and drag you into an open room. You scream, kicking your attacker. You try to fight the person, but they’re no match for your puny self. On the verge of tears, you’re about the give up when the person finally speaks, “Y/n…”

You freeze. You would know that voice anywhere. “Tae?”

The attacker lets you go and you slowly turn around, shocked to see the face of your friend. But the shock soon fades into something strange when you take in his appearance—the boy actually looks nice. His hair is disheveled in that messy, but put together, way and his clothes sexily cling against him. You feel your mouth drop open, but you pick it up just as quickly as it falls.

Suddenly, you push him, and he stumbles, “What the hell?”

“Why do you always feel the need to sneak up on me? Asshole,” you cross your arms.

He cracks a smile, “You’re just fun to mess with.”

“It’s not fun for me, you jerk. I was seriously freaked out.”

Taehyung softens at your words, “I’m sorry; I just wanted to surprise you.”

And that’s when you remember why you’re even here at all. You suddenly feel awkward, not knowing where to look.

“Why…why didn’t you return any of my calls?” you ask him, staring at the floor. “I mean, I know you’re mad. But you couldn’t text me back?”

You sneak a look at him, and find that he’s staring intently at you.

“And like, I don’t even know why you’re mad at me. What did I do wrong? Was it because I went away? Or was it something I did? I just—”

Tae cuts you off with a kiss that causes you to nearly trip on your own feet. The kiss is intense and you feel him back you against the wall, encasing your body with his. You haven’t kissed him in nearly a month; you’ve forgotten how it feels like, how alive he makes you feel.

His hands begin traveling up your body, each touch igniting a fire inside of you. He stops when he reaches your face, his long fingers roughly cupping your cheeks. You bring your own hands to tangle in his hair and gently tug him closer to you. His starts to rub little circles on your cheeks, while simultaneously prodding your mouth further open. You oblige and feel his tongue massaging yours.

Suddenly, you let out a moan as Tae presses his body right onto yours. Despite the layers of clothing between the two of you, you can still feel the body heat coming off of him. At your moan, he freezes for a moment before kissing you back with much more force. He pulls the two of you away from the wall and you both fall onto a bed.

The dress you’re wearing begins to ride up, but you don’t care at all; you just want to be closer to him, needing to be closer to him. You pull away from his lips to breathe and he takes that opportunity to latch his lips onto your jaw, slowly moving down your neck. Another moan leaves your lips and you try to think, but your mind is complete mush right now.

All you can do is lay there as Tae begins to suck on your neck. Although you two had kissed multiple times before, things have never gone this far.

“Tae…” you say a bit breathlessly, his finger now pushing the straps of your dress down. He mutters something incoherent, mouth on the swells of your breast. “What are we doing?”

He stops, raising his head, “I’m worshiping your body, what else?”

You redden as his comment.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, a brow raised. When you simply shake your head, his lips travel back to your chest.

Without even realizing it, you start to move your hips against his. A pleasurable pressure starts building up and you whimper at the feeling. Taehyung stop his assault on your skin, eyes now looking into yours. As he stares at you, his fingers play with the zipper on the side of your dress.

“This dress is awfully pretty on you,” he licks his lips. “But I think it’ll look prettier on the floor, don’t you think?”

And faster than you can even comprehend his words, the dress is unzipped from your body and you’re left half-naked in your underwear. Impulse kicks in and you try to cover your body at the sudden lack of coverage. But Tae takes your arms, pinning them above your head.

“So beautiful,” he muses, eyes darkening.

You writhe underneath him, not liking the fact that you’re nearly naked while he’s still completely clothed. When you tell him this fact, he releases your arms and begins to unbutton his shirt. You can’t help but stare at his golden skin and his broad shoulders. He reaches for the waistband of his pants, unbuttons it, and then tugs the fabric down his legs.

Tae smirks at your obvious staring and leans down to kiss you again. The rest of your clothing, or whatever was left, comes off and you’re both left completely exposed to each other. Now without all the clothes between you two, you can feel every ridge of his body and desire threatens to burst out of your body.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks you again, resting his forehead against yours.

You shake your head, “No.”

“Are you sure?” his eyes search your face. “Because if we start, I-I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

Grabbing his face between your hands, you kiss him, “I’m sure.”

You are long past the point of no return. The rational part of you is screaming that this is a terrible idea, that this is bound to ruin your friendship with Tae. But you can’t find it in yourself to really care. You want him, so badly you are about to burst.

Even though you assure Tae that you want this, he still hesitates above you. As he rolls a condom on, you lightly kiss his jaw and tell him that you’re okay. But although you say this, you feel your body tense as he nears your entrance. This is your first time after all, and you realize Taehyung is becoming a lot of your firsts. When he finally enters you, you scrunch up your face from the initial discomfort. “Ow.”

“Shit,” you hear Tae mutter, stopping halfway.

“It’s okay,” you bite your bottom lip. “Keep going.”

He pushes the rest of the way, “You’re so fucking tight.”

You still feel a sense of discomfort, especially since Tae’s large size fills you up to the brim. Despite this, you tell him to keep moving in hopes that maybe the awkwardness will fade into something better. And a few thrusts in, it does feel better—a lot better.

Tae’s pace is still rather slow, but the pleasure starts to build up and he drops his head into the crook of your shoulder. You moan for him to go faster but he doesn’t, probably due to the fear of hurting you.

So you tighten your legs around him, “Tae—harder, faster.”

Something in him snaps and his thrust become shorter, but quicker. The force causes your eyes to roll back and you cry out at how good it feels, “Fuck.”

He groans your name, one hand roughly digging into your hips. It all feels so good, and you’re surprised by how vocal you are—a moan always seems to be leaving your mouth. But you don’t care at all if anyone hears. You continue to moan as you feel your peak building. Sweat rolls down both of your backs, and you can feel Tae’s thrusts getting sloppy.

“Ohmygod,” you say in a single breath. “I’m gonna—”

And just as you’re about to say the words, waves of ecstasy crash down on you. You cry out Taehyung’s name, the feeling completely indescribable. He continues to ride out your high before reaching his own. After he releases, he falls on top of you and presses a gentle kiss on your neck. You both don’t say anything for a few moments, still trying to catch your breaths.

“Are you okay?” Tae is the first to speak. He mumbles this question into your neck.

You nod your head, “Yeah…are you?”

“I’m…good. Better than good, actually,” he raises his head, smiling. “You’re beautiful, y/n.”

You blush at his words, not knowing how to respond.

“But, you are quite loud though,” he says. “I’m sure the entire house heard us.”

He laughs and you push him away, forgetting that he’s still inside of you. You both moan from the loss of contact, feeling sort of empty now. Once he’s away from you, you remember just how naked you are and rush to pull the blankets over your body. But you wince a few times due to the soreness you feel.

“What are you doing?”

“Covering myself,” you say once the sheets are pulled all the way up to your chin.

“I just saw you completely naked though,” Tae laughs.

You raise a brow, “And?”

“And?” he repeats. “And you shouldn’t have to cover yourself.”

“Let me live, Tae.”

“Why’d you come back early?” his sudden question throws you off a bit.

You look at him, seeing genuine curiosity in his eyes, “I just wanted to see you.”

“Really?” he looks shocked.

“Yeah,” you feel embarrassed now. “I just…didn’t want to end the year on the bad note or start the year off with you hating me.”

His gaze softens, “I don’t hate you. I was just frustrated. You’re my best friend, and you leaving felt like you were betraying me.”

“Stupid,” you say.

“Okay, so maybe I was,” he rolls his eyes. “But speaking of the New Year…”

He searches for something amongst the clothing items scattered on the floor. You have to force yourself not to look at him as he bends down to put his clothes back on. As he looks for whatever he’s looking for, you search for your own clothes and do the same. Once he jumps back on the bed, his phone is in his hand. He presses the home button and smiles.

“It’s 11:59; make a wish!” he says and you quickly shut your eyes. But before you can even fully think of something, he crashes you into a hug, planting a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Happy New Year, y/n!”

You smile, “Happy New Year, Kim Taehyung.”

“Thanks for being the best. Forgive for being an ass and not calling back,” he says, still hugging you tightly. “Friends still?”

“The best of friends,” you’re still smiling, but it’s forced. You feel your face tremble, your hands shaking a bit as you cling onto him. A sudden, lone tears falls down your face.

Best friends. Just friends.

As you utter the words in your head, your heart sinks deeper and deeper.

***

As the years roll by, you’ve come to terms that the relationship you have with Tae has morphed into a friends with benefits ordeal. It’s that kind of situation because no one knows what you two are doing—no one but you and Tae. Everyone continued to believe that you both were just best friends, but behind closed doors you two were fucking. A lot.

At first, you were hesitant to accept that this was to be your reality. You didn’t want to be a friend that he fucked; you wanted to be more or nothing at all. But you couldn’t lose the boy; he was a part of your life and you needed him. And it just so happened to be via this relationship.

But that’s not the only thing.

Since you two weren’t exclusive, and no one knew, it meant you technically could date other people—which you guys did. Initially, you were green with envy. You didn’t like the idea that he was being intimate with other girls who weren’t you. But you realize it was foolish to think that since you were doing the same thing.

During senior year, you dated someone just because you felt obligated to. Also, Tae was in a relationship as well so you needed the distraction. You were intimate with the guy, but he wasn’t Tae. And you hated yourself for thinking that.

You also hated yourself even more for always caving into Kim Taehyung. No matter the situation, you could never say no to him. You ended up having to break up with that particular boyfriend of yours since you cheated on him one too many times.

When it was time to go to college, it was the only logical choice for you both to attend the same school. You needed Taehyung just as much as you needed air to breath. The application period was nerve-wracking because you were scared that you two wouldn’t get into the same schools. But by some miracle, you did.

College was honestly a blur. Because of your friendship with Tae, it was hard to stay in relationships with other guys. You tried to date other people but it never felt the same. No one else knew your body as well as Tae. He knew exactly what you liked, and exactly how to do it.

It was frustrating.

There were many times you wanted it to end, but Taehyung would just show up right back at your door and your selfish self let him right back in. It was a never-ending cycle. And in all honesty, it was a toxic relationship. No one should be so caught up with someone they weren’t dating, and yet here you two were—a terrible exception.

You were always terrified that people would find out about you and Tae’s secret, especially your parents. What would they even say? As much as they loved Tae, you were sure that they would be disappointed. They would be probably be most unhappy about the fact that you ruined so many potentially great relationships over a boy who didn’t even love you.

At least, not in the way you deserved to be loved.

“Do you love me?” you randomly asked one day.

Perhaps it was the sexual high that messed with your brain, but you’re not sure why you decided to ask him the big question. Tae was still breathing hard beside you, recovering from the sex you two just had.

“Of course,” he breathed out, “you’re my best friend.”

You heart sank a little, “So, like, that friend-love then?”

“Why are you even asking?” he turned to the side, facing you.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Just curious, I guess.”

But you did know. Despite it all being no-strings-attached, you started to feel a little too attached.

You weren’t sure when it occurred, but you suddenly started noticing the little things. Even though you had known Tae for years, you never realized how fond you were of everything he did. Of all the people in the world, you didn’t understand why it had to be him. He didn’t love you beyond a friend, and he probably would never feel anything more for you. So, why did you continue to let him fuck your brains out? You didn’t have an answer to that.

After college, you tried to stop seeing Tae all together, but the boy was so damn persistent. He just didn’t know how to leave your life. It was like he was torturing you; dangling you on a minuscule rope that hovered above an ocean. But despite the torture, every time you saw him, your heart grew more and more for him. It was a strange feeling honestly; being so incredibly fond of someone, but also wanting to be far away from them.

Every night, you wondered why life turned out to be this way for you—stuck in an unrequited, friends with benefits relationship. As you thought these things, you couldn’t help but realize how fucked up it all was.

A part of you wished that you had never decided to come home early that New Year’s Eve so long ago. If you hadn’t come home, you wouldn’t have called Yoon. If you hadn’t called her, you wouldn’t have gone to Jay’s stupid house party. If you hadn’t gone to that damn house party, you wouldn’t have let Tae fuck you for the first time. If that night would’ve never happened, you wouldn’t be here questioning everything.

But would that have really changed anything?

***

You down another shot glass.

A friend from work invited you out to her birthday party, and you figured it would be an intimate affair since she was rather quiet. She also told you to bring a plus-one, so you dragged Taehyung out too because you figured you needed someone to talk to. Instead of a small party, you found yourself in a club filled with many people. And you are now alone, your plus-one nowhere to be found.

The moment you two entered the club, Tae wandered from your side. Out of the two of you, he has always been the more social one; making friends everywhere he went. You managed to find the friend who invited you, but you didn’t get to talk long—like you had predicted earlier—and simply ended up at the bar.

“Did you want another one?”

You look at the bartender, eyes slightly narrowed, “What do you think?”

“I was just asking,” he says, wiping the inside of a glass. “I mean, you’ve had a few.”

You take the briefest moment to do a once over of the bartender, and you smile a little to yourself—he’s kind of cute. Even though you swear you only stare at him for a second, he catches you and pink tinges your cheeks.

“I wasn’t looking at you, I swear,” you say, looking anywhere but at him.

He just laughs, “It’s okay; it’s not every day a pretty girl stares at me with drool forming at the corner of her mouth.”

You widen your eyes, “I was not drooling!”

“Kidding,” he smiles, and you feel your heart warm just a bit. “What’s your name? I’ve never seen you here before.”

“Y/n, and I’m only here for a birthday…though it’s quite obvious I’m not really participating. What’s your name?”

“Hoseok,” he says, and you repeat it in your head a million times.

A smile forms on your lips, “Nice to meet you.”

As am easy conversation forms between you and Hoseok, you can’t help but laugh at everything he says. It feels nice to laugh, especially since it feels like you haven’t done so in a long time. In this moment, you feel kind of glad you decided to come out tonight.

“So, about that drink,” Hoseok asks, face close to yours.

“I’d love another—”

Before you can finish your sentence, you feel a sudden presence behind you.

“I believe she’s fine.”

You turn around, eyes meeting Tae’s. “What are you doing?”

Instead of saying anything, he just grabs your wrist and pulls you off your stool.

“Tae!”

With his free hand, he reaches inside his pocket and pulls out a few bills. He throws them on the counter, telling the Hoseok to keep the change. You struggle against his hold, not understanding why he’s doing this—you really wanted another drink and you wanted to talk to the cute bartender some more. And the last thing you wanted was to deal with Kim Taehyung.

He drags you both through the club, past masses of people. You’re not able to break free until he slips the two of you outside. As the door shuts behind you, a chill from the night hits you and you curse yourself for not bringing a jacket.

But even though you’re cold, a flash of anger heats you up momentarily, “What the hell, Taehyung?”

Rarely do you ever call him Taehyung to his face. At the sound of his full name being used, his mouth tightens and he looks at you. “I should be asking you that.”

“Oh my god,” you roll your eyes. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Why were you flirting with the bartender?” he asks, eyes narrowing.

You cross your arms over your chest, “The bartender has a name, and it’s Hoseok.”

“So you guys are on a first name basis?”

“He asked for my name, and I was not flirting with him,” you say. “We were just talking.”

“Hmm…I guess we have different versions of talking then; I don’t recall talking including his face being two inches away from yours,” Tae practically yells, and you can’t believe this is actually happening.

“Like you’re one to talk! I saw you walk away from me when we got here to go talk to girls, you hypocrite.”

He scoffs, “I was not talking to girls.”

Just recently, there’s something off in your friendship; a loose screw. For some reason, you two are fighting a lot more; finding the dumbest things to pick out and argue about. Also, Tae has picked up a habit of being overprotective. It makes no sense why he suddenly feels the need to act in such a way.

“Seriously, you need to chill out,” you tell him, not understanding why he’s being so unreasonable.

“You should take your own advice.”

“Maybe I will,” you sigh, turning around and walking away from him.

You only make it a few steps before an arm pulls you back, “Where are you going?”

“Didn’t you say for me to take my own advice? Well, I am; which means I’m leaving,” you say before pushing him away and walking again.

“Y/n,” he says your name, but you don’t care to stop. “Y/n.”

You throw up a middle finger, still walking down the street.

“Fuck. Stop it, you idiot. Let me just drive you home.”

“No,” is your immediate response, but you doubt that he can hear you. All you really want to do right now is take off all the damn makeup you are wearing and sleep.

“Y/n,” Tae repeats, “I’m sorry. Please stop. You’re angry at me, I know, but let me just drive you. I’d hate for you to walk home. It’s dangerous and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Stopping halfway down the street, you look over your shoulder. Even under the dim lighting of the streetlights, you can see the sincerity in his eyes. You walk back to him, nod, and then walk to his car. The whole ride to your apartment, you two don’t speak. Instead, soft music from the radio fills the silence. Aside from not talking to him, you also angle your body away from him; you choose to look out the window, watching the night come alive.

When he stops in front of your building, you quickly unbuckle yourself and get out of the car. You practically run to your door, not wanting to let Tae say a single thing to you. And, thankfully, he doesn’t. As you lock your front door behind you, you look out through the little peephole and see that he hasn’t left yet. Shockingly, it takes him a few minutes to leave; when he does finally drive off, you sink to your knees.

***

The next evening, someone knocks at your door.

At first, you’re hesitant to open the door since you didn’t plan on anyone coming over. When you check to see who it is, your eyes widen. Unlocking the door, you shift awkwardly on your feet, “Tae? What are you doing?”

In front of you, he stands with a bag of takeout, your favorite, and a bottle of wine.

“I brought food,” he says, pushing past you to walk inside. He leaves you standing at the door confused.

“Why?” you follow him into your small kitchen, crossing your arms over your chest.

Tae looks at you and raises a brow, “I can’t come over and bring food?”

You don’t respond because he knows why you’re questioning him. You are still mad at him for what happened last night at the club. He had no right to act the way he did.

“I’m hurt,” he feigns sadness, clutching his chest. “I thought we were best friends?”

“We are,” you say, and he smiles. “But you were an asshole yesterday.”

The smile on his face falls, “I know, and that’s why I brought your favorite takeout.”

“You’re trying to apologize through takeout?”

“Is it working?”

You roll your eyes; you can never win. Although you want to be mad at him, you know that you can never be. “Maybe.”

A smile graces his face again, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Great; that’s better than no.”

He grabs your hand and walks you both into the living room. Taking the boxes out of the paper bag, he hands you your favorite dish and digs into his own. As you two settle on the couch, with the TV play some random movie, you can’t help but stare at him.

After you slipped into bed last night, you stayed up and thought a lot about your relationship with Taehyung. You spent many nights thinking about him, but last night you finally decided on something: you are going to end the friends with benefits relationship with him. This decision came to you because you realized that you both aren’t happy.

You loved Tae beyond the lines of a best friend.

There; you finally admitted it.

As much as you wanted to make him happy, to him you are just the best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe that’s why you enjoyed Hoseok’s company so much last night—he actually gave you the attention you so desperately wanted from Tae. After all these years, you figured it’s time that he receives the happiness he deserves. You deserve happiness too, even if it means letting him go.

“What?” he suddenly asks, not looking away from the TV screen.

“Nothing,” you say, shoving some food in your mouth. Despite thinking these thoughts, you aren’t sure how to break the news to him.

After the random takeout night, everything returns to how it always used to be—the same cycle of a toxic, friends with benefits relationship. Each time you climbed into Taehyung’s bed or he yours, you swore it would be the last time. Hell, you even slipped it out once that it was going to be the last time, but he just laughed and carried on.

A few weeks go by, and you find yourself at Tae’s house once again. He invited you over to watch a movie, but you two are doing everything but that.

He’s pressed against you, peppering kisses along your jaw and down your neck. After so many years of being intimate together, Tae knows your body like the back of his hand. You moan as he slides a hand underneath your shirt to touch one of your sensitive breasts. His other hand begins to travel to the button of your jeans. Your body screams in anticipation, but he suddenly stops.

“Bed. Now,” he says, and then picks you up.

Tae carries you across his apartment to his bedroom, and sets you at the foot of his bed. You take a second to glance around the room you’ve come to memorize so well.

“This is the last time, okay?” your words are sincere tonight; after this, it’s officially over.

But Taehyung doesn’t even glance at your face as he discards your shirt on the floor. The next thing to come off are your jeans, and you’re left in only your underwear. This scene is all too familiar.

“Why am I always the first to get naked?” you ask.

He smirks, taking his shirt and pants off. “Better?”

“Much,” you say with a pang in your heart as you stare at the beautiful human being in front of you. In this moment, you see just how grown up Taehyung has gotten. He isn’t the lanky boy you met all those years ago anymore. Now, as your eyes travel over the golden skin that stretches over his toned body, he’s a man.

Tae proceeds to rip your underwear off and you slide his boxers off. He immediately pushes you back on the bed, hands spreading your legs apart. His lips attach to your inner thighs, leaving teasing kisses everywhere. You moan, begging him for more. So, he brings a finger to your entrance, smirking again.

“So wet already,” he muses just before replacing his finger with his mouth.

As he begins to lick you, you weave your fingers into his hair. “Yes, Tae. Oh my god.”

He looks up at you from where he’s positioned between your legs, and you nearly orgasm on the spot. The smolder in his gaze lights up your entire body. As he continues to use tongue, which you’re sure is magical, his eyes never move away from yours and you swear that you’ve never seen anything sexier in your life.

He applies more pressure and you pull his hair tighter, feeling yourself getting close. You moan and arch your back, hands fisting the sheets around you. Just as you’re about to see the stars, Tae suddenly pulls his mouth away. Immediately you whimper, not liking the loss of touch. You start to complain, but don’t get very far before he suddenly shoves two fingers inside of you. The fullness causes you to reach your peak, and you cry out his name.

“That’s it, you dirty girl,” he still pumps his fingers inside of you, helping you ride out your high. “So sexy.”

It all just feels so good, and you nearly question your decision. You lift your head up once you’ve recovered and manage a small smile, “My turn.”

Taehyung’s eyes widen for a moment and you take the chance to pull him onto the bed, flipping positions so you’re on top. One of your hands reaches for his cock, moaning a bit when you realize how hard he is already. You stoke his member a few times before bending down to take him into your mouth. In all honesty, you are never one to really give blowjobs. It’s not that you hate giving them, it just never fits the flow; Tae almost always goes down on you and then fucks you—he never really gives you many chances to return the favor.

But from the expression on his face, you know he absolutely loves it.

“Shit,” he groans as you take him deeper into your mouth.

His cock hits the back of your throat and you gag a bit, feeling tears forming in your eyes. Even though giving blowjobs is rather uncomfortable sometimes, it’s worth seeing the reaction from Tae. His breaths are getting heavier; he’s getting close. This fact prompts you to suck harder, paying more attention to his sensitive head.

“Y/n—fucking shit—stop.”

Your eyes meet his from underneath your lashes. Letting go of his cock with a pop sound, you ask, “Is there something wrong?”

Tae has never stopped you from finishing a blowjob before.

He runs a hand over his face, “It feels so fucking good.”

“Why’d you want me to stop then?”

He leans up and captures your lips in a kiss. You kiss him back hard, pushing everything into the kiss. He breaks away first, resting his forehead against yours. “I want to cum inside you.”

And before you can comprehend his words, he flips you over onto your stomach and lifts your ass up. Without much warning, he slams inside you. This is done without much effort because you’re still wet from earlier. You both moan at the feeling of being connected like this; he has always filled you up so well.

Tae grips onto your hips as he moves fast, thrusting into you relentlessly. All you can do is sink your head into the bedsheets and take the pleasure. You’ve always loved this position since Tae goes so much deeper, hitting all the right spots. The same pleasure from earlier starts to build up inside of you again, and you tell him to go harder. And he does, leaning over you so he doesn’t move out much and ends up going even deeper than before.

You moan into the sheets, the pleasure becoming almost unbearable. Tae begins to suck onto the skin of your shoulders, no doubt leaving hickeys. This act just adds to the pleasure and you feel like you’re about to burst. Suddenly, Taehyung flips you over onto your back and crashes his lips on you.

As he kisses you, his hips move faster and you feel so so close.

“Cum for me, baby,” Tae whispers into your ears, fingers finding your sensitive clit, and that does the trick.

Your orgasm hits you like a freight truck, tightening your walls around Tae. Within seconds, he reaches his climax too, releasing himself into you. After this, he falls on top of you. But unlike other times, he doesn’t stay in the position long and rolls over. His chest rapidly rises up and down, sweating covering his entire body. You try to catch your own breath, feeling your heart beating erratically.

He turns his head to look at you and smiles, “Fucking perfect as always, y/n.”

Placing a quick kiss on your forehead, he gets up to grab a rag to clean the both of you. Once you clean the creampie off of you, he hands you a t-shirt and pulls his own boxers on. He whispers goodnight and falls asleep immediately. You take in his sleeping form—long eye lashes, soft lips; he looks like an angel. You can’t help but bring a hand to his face, trailing your fingers along his skin.

After a few moments, you roll over; feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. You shut your eyes tightly, tears flowing down your face. A silent sob racks its way through your body because this was the last time. You were serious when you said those words to him before. Being in this toxic relationship isn’t an option anymore—you can’t deal with being the girl he simply used for sex.

You craved intimacy beyond that.

You wanted something deep, all consuming. Was that so bad?

While Tae slept peacefully beside you, you couldn’t relax at all. The thought of you leaving him haunted you. Before anything, he’s your best friend; you don’t want to lose him. At the same time, though, you know that you can’t keep him in your life. You want so much more, and he can’t give you that. So in your mind, it’s better just to break yourself away entirely.

Before the sun rises, you quietly get out of Taehyung’s bed and grab your clothes. You decide to keep his shirt, wanting to be selfish one last time. When you have all your things, you finally look at his sleeping form. Your heart hangs heavy in your chest; it hurt like hell now, but you would be grateful later…right?

Slipping out of his apartment, you drive home feeling like a total mess. Once you make it to your place, you immediately crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep.

***

It’s one of those nights again.

The world is asleep, yet you are still wide awake—heart aching, mind running a thousand miles an hour. No matter what you try, sleep does not come. It’s like life is torturing you.

Since you left Taehyung’s house that one morning, you haven’t been able to sleep well. Every time you thought you finally were going to drift into dreamland for the night, his face would creep right into your mind. His expressive eyes, the gentle slope of his nose, the curve of his boxy grin—it was all ingrained in your mind. And you hated it. You also hated how you could still feel his burning touch on your skin; the way his large hands caressed your body.

Not only couldn’t you sleep well, but Tae calls you every day. He blows up your phone, leaving a voicemail every single time.

Y/n, pick up the phone.

Call me back soon, okay?

Is everything okay? Are you okay??

What did I do wrong? Call me back.

I know you’re listening to these messages since your voice mailbox isn’t full…call me soon.

…please pick up, y/n. Please.

As you listen to each message, your heart breaks a little more. You’re at a point now that you feel like you don’t even have a heart since you just feel so broken. The longingness in your chest is about to burst, but you aren’t going to give in. You aren’t going to pick up the phone and give him the satisfaction of knowing that you desperately cannot live without him.

You can be strong for once. You can exist without Kim Taehyung.

Even though you don’t pick up or return any of his calls, that doesn’t stop him. It has already been almost a month since you last saw him, but he continues to call and call and call. He’s relentless and a part of you feels absolutely terrible.

In the second month, the calls are less frequent but still very present in your life. Tae still calls practically every day, leaving you those damn voicemails that break your soul. And as much as it hurts, you still listen to every voicemail. You don’t know why though because you still feel as shitty as ever.

By the third month, Tae only calls once, maybe twice, a week. You still give him props for being so driven. If it had been you in his position, you would’ve give up a long time ago. He leaves the occasional voicemail too, but you know better to not listen anymore.

Miraculously, you’ve managed to avoid seeing him all this time. You don’t really know how though, since you both live in the same city. But he hasn’t come to see you yet, which is surprising. This behavior was very un-Tae-like, but you’re thankful; if he was to show up at your door, you don’t know what you would do.

Without Taehyung present in your life, you didn’t know what to do with yourself at first. A person who was so essential to your being wasn’t there anymore. But after the days, weeks, and eventual months went by, you learn to just deal. Your co-workers were concerned at first—they didn’t know why you had suddenly changed. They questioned you a lot that first month and attempted to change your mood; it, however, died quickly when they realized you weren’t going to change.

But have you changed a lot?

You aren’t too sure.

The days continue to pass you by, and life is starting to get rather dull. It’s the same routine of waking up, going to work, and then coming home. Although it’s boring and less than interesting, you stick to it because it’s the right thing. And before you know it, six whole months go by and it’s almost the end of the year.

Life’s still boring, but you think about Taehyung a lot less now. He stopped calling after the fourth month and no longer consumed your every thought. You can breathe a little bit better now, but there are still some nights you laid awake wondering how he was doing. Knowing him, he’s probably doing great; Tae’s always able to adapt easily to situations.

With the end of the year approaching, you find yourself not to terribly excited about the holidays; after all, you’re going to spend them alone. Or so you thought.

“Hello?” It wasn’t Tae on the phone, but someone else who you haven’t spoken to in years.

“Hey, y/n.”

“Umm…hi?”

“You said your greetings already,” the person on the other line says, humor laced in their voice.

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes, “what do you want?”

They mock gasp, “Is that really the way to speak to someone you haven’t spoken to since high school?”

“I don’t know, Yoon; maybe because we haven’t talked since high school?”

“Goodness, no need to sound so sarcastic,” she says. “I was just saying.”

You have no idea why she’s suddenly calling after all these years. After high school, you haven’t kept up with anyone you used to talk to—besides Tae, of course. You’re surprised she still has your number.

“Like I said before, what do you want?” you ask, confused.

“Can’t I just randomly call you?”

“No,” is your immediate response.

“Look, y/n, I know we haven’t talked since high school, but we used to be really good friends,” Yoon says, “so I just wanted to call and invite you to a New Year’s Eve party I’m hosting at my boyfriend’s place.”

“A New Year’s Eve party?” This feels all too familiar.

“Yeah—it’ll be fun, so please come!”

You scrunch your brows, “Is it your same boyfriend from high school?”

“Oh god no,” she laughs. “I’m dating Jay now.”

In that moment, your mouth drops, “What?! As in, Jay from high school? As in, the Jay who hosted the best parties?”

“Yes, that Jay. We’ve been dating for a few years now,” Yoon explains.

“That’s so crazy,” you say. “Who would’ve guessed; but I’m glad you ended things with that boyfriend of yours from high school—he was a douchebag.”

Yoon laughs again, “You don’t even have to tell me; I don’t know what I saw in him.”

“Seriously,” you smile. “Especially that one time—”

“—he got so drunk the night before graduation, he received his diploma hungover and confessed he had a thing for a teacher,” she finishes for you and you both laugh so hard. You can’t remember the last time you laughed so much.

“Oh my god, that was ridiculous,” you say, recalling the memory.

“It’s really funny now, but I still cringe thinking about it sometimes.”

If you were her, you would cringe too, “Jay is totally a step up from that mess.”

“So you’ll come to the party?” she asks.

You shrug even though she can’t see you, “I guess so.”

“Great,” you can feel her smile.

“I mean, it’s not like I have anything better to do,” you tell her, and it was the truth—you really don’t have anything else planned. There’s no way in hell you’re going home to your parents for the holidays; without a doubt they’d ask about Taehyung and you aren’t exactly ready to tell them yet. Also, you’d probably run into his mom and that would be bad.

“I promise you won’t regret it.”

***

On Christmas day, you call your parents. They bombard you with the typical you should call more and come visit. You manage to avoid questions that are too personal and promise that you’ll visit…soon.

As you call the other important people in your life, including Yoon, your hands itch to call Tae. It was your first Christmas, since that trip to visit your aunt all those years ago, without him and it honestly feels weird. When you woke up this morning, your mind immediately flashed back to Christmases past where you always woke up beside him. The yearning you haven’t felt in a while starts to return, but you don’t press his number that you’ve never bothered to delete.

The days following Christmas are a blur as you wait for the 31st to arrive. Admittingly, you’re actually kind of excited for the party; it’s going to be your first social outing in a while. Yoon called and told you it was going to a dressy event, meaning nicer clothes, so you spent hours trying to find the perfect outfit. You don’t even know why you were freaking out about clothes, but you wanted to look nice.

You end up finding a burgundy dress with an exposed back that makes you feel really good, and you feel happy for the first time in forever.

When New Year’s Eve finally rolls around, you slip into your slightly scandalous dress ready to take on the world. Yoon sends you the address of the place and you drive for about thirty minutes before arriving at a mansion.

Of course, you think to yourself as you pull into the circle driveway. This dude would live in a mansion even as an adult.

At the steps of the mansion, a man stands there and you look at him puzzled. “Yes?”

“Hello, miss, we can take your car and park it for you,” he says and you realize this must be a really fancy event.

“Oh, okay,” you say and get out of the car.

“Just let Mr. Jay or one of our staff know when you’re ready to leave,” he tells you before zooming away in your car.

You turn around a few times in the driveway, not knowing what to make of the situation, before making your way up the steps of the lavish house. When you reach the door, you don’t even have to reach for the handle—it opens before you can.

“Y/n?” someone calls your name.

You smile, “Yoon.”

Your old childhood friend stands in front of you in a gold fitted dress, looking even better now than she did in high school.

“Oh my god—you’re so hot now what the fuck,” she practically screeches before tackling you in a hug. You can’t help but laugh at her action, before hugging her back. “How is this even possible?”

You pull away, “Look who’s talking.”

She rolls her eyes, “Compared to you, I’m a potato.”

“I mean, you managed to snag Jay so I highly doubt that,” you say to her, an eyebrow raised. “By the way, this place is huge.”

“Oh, I know. I told Jay it was too big but he said it was perfect,” Yoon shrugs.

You look around, taking in the elaborate décor and high ceilings. It was all beautiful, but a little too much room for your personal taste. “I mean, I guess it makes a good place to host parties?”

“That’s the plan now.”

As you continue to take in all the glorious details, you realize something, “Where is everyone?”

You look at Yoon, wondering if you were somehow early but that couldn’t be because you were on time…or at least, you thought you were. But your friend looks at your confused expression and smiles.

“It’s a big place, remember? The party is on the other side of the mansion,” she explains and in that moment, you can hear music emitting from somewhere far.

Yoon grabs your arms and you two make your way across the mansion. The deeper Yoon pulls you into the house, the louder the music gets. As the bass starts to shake the floor, you start seeing more people. Actually, you start seeing a lot of people.

“Oh shit,” you say to yourself, surprised by the sheer amount of bodies.

“I know,” your friend yells in front of you and you’re surprised that she heard you. “This is technically my party, but it seems like Jay ended up inviting the whole city.”

Although there are many people present, it’s not like a party you would’ve attended back in high school. No one is dancing provocatively or getting wasted—everyone is just doing their own thing. Yoon walks you into a room with high ceilings, a glittering chandelier right in the center. The extravagant sight parts your mouth in awe; exactly how rich is Jay?

“Well, this is the party,” Yoon says after you close your mouth again. “Before you leave, come find me okay?”

You nod a couples times before you register her words, “Wait, what?”

“I have to go find Jay,” she shrugs.

“And you’re just going to leave me?”

Yoon smiles, “You’ll be fine.”

“What was the point of inviting me if you’re not going to bother to entertain me?” you might’ve appeared rather sarcastic, but you’re internally freaking out. You don’t want Yoon to leave you; what are you supposed to do? This party’s not your forte and you don’t know anybody else but her.

“I’m sure you will find someone else to entertain you,” she says, already walking away from you. What was that supposed to mean?

And with that, your only friend at the party abandons you. Suddenly, you find yourself feeling out of place in the sea of people. You quickly walk away from the center of the room and don’t stop until you find a bar. You pour yourself a drink, half-leaning against the wall. As you glance around the room, you feel slightly envious of everyone. They all seem like they’re having a great time…and you’re not feeling that same excitement anymore. You are so immersed in your thoughts, you don’t even notice the figure behind you. And you definitely do not expect to feel a hand on you.

Out of instinct, you jab your arm into them; but they stop you, grabbing a hold of your hand. You turn around, ready to give them a piece of mind. But when you realize who is behind you, the world seems to stop.

“Wha—” your mouth falls open, not able to form proper words. “T-Tae?”

The last person you expected to see is inches away from you, and you can’t even think.

Your mind is completely blank, devoid of any thoughts as you search his features. Not much has changed about him—same curved lips, nose perfectly sculpted by God himself. If anything, he just looks tired. Tears threaten to spill when your eyes finally meet his; in his gaze, you see all the emotions you’ve felt these past six months. Confusion, pain, anger, numbness—you see it all and it kills you inside.

In your rationality, you thought he would be okay; you thought that he didn’t need you. Now, you see that he’s hurt, and you’re the cause of it all. Fear spikes your system. You need to get away from him before you cause any more damage. But as you try to back away, you realize that his grip on you is tight.

Without saying a word, he forcefully pulls you forward and drags you through the crowd of people. Thankfully, no one really pays you two attention as Tae maneuvers the both of you away from the center of the party. You have no idea where he’s taking you, but you don’t try to resist because there would be no point. Tae turns into a hallway and opens a random door, shoving you inside. He locks the door behind him, and finally turns to face you. You can’t even look at him, feeling shameful that you’re actually in his presence again.

Silence fills the room before he talks, “Why?”

You stare at the floor, not knowing what to say.

“Why?” he suddenly grabs both of your shoulders, shaking you. “Why did you leave me?”

You let him shake you, feeling deserving of the action; you deserved all the bad in the world for what you did.

“Did you not know how much of a mess I was, huh? I thought you were just mad at me; ignoring me for a couple days. But when you never called back, I didn’t know to do. Fuck,” he lets you go to rake a hand through his hair. “I was so angry. How could you do that to me? You ruined me, y/n. Why are you so heartless?”

By now, tears are pouring down your face; but you’re angry too. He was angry with you? He was a mess? “You think you’re the only one who was hurting?”

“Well, I wasn’t the one who completely cut you from my life.”

More tears spill from your eyes. He doesn’t get it. “You’re an asshole, Kim Taehyung.”

While he was angry that you didn’t return any of his damn phone calls in six months, you were disappointed that after all these years he still couldn’t see your true feelings. You might’ve not seem him in a while, but the same feelings from six months ago were starting to creep back and you didn’t like it. You have almost forgotten how much your soul longed for him.

“I’m an asshole?” he asks incredulously.

You don’t say anything; instead, you turn back around and start to walk towards the door. Before you can get far though, Tae pulls you back.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Away from you.”

“I haven’t seen you in six months and you want to leave already? Is that what you do best? Run away?” he asks.

His words are like a dagger to your heart. “Don’t ever talk to me again.”

“Why are you doing this, y/n? What the hell did I do?” he’s yelling at this point and the tears rush endlessly down your face. And before you can even help it, the words tumble right out of your mouth.

“You made me fall in love with you.”

The rooms falls silent and in that moment, you swear that you can hear Taehyung’s own heart beating. You can’t even look at him, feeling too embarrassed at your sudden confession. It’s the first time you’ve ever said the truth out loud; and even though you feel strangely liberated, a lingering feeling of rejection still harbors over you.

When the silence continues to swallow you up, you slowly start to regret ever saying anything.

“You know what? Forget I ever said anything,” you quickly say in attempts to clear the air. “I don’t even know why—”

“You’re in love with me?”

His words cause you to raise your head up and meet his eyes. There’s an emotion swirling in them that you can’t decipher. Since there’s no turning back now, you nod your head once and silent wait for his response. A few seconds pass before a smile morphs onto his face. The smile surprises you because you don’t get the gesture; why was he smiling?

“You’re in love with me?” he repeats his question, and you scrunch your brows as you nod your head again. “No, no—say it out loud.”

You blink a couple times, “Umm…I love you?”

“C’mon, say it more reassuringly.”

“I love you, Kim Taehyung,” you say with honesty because you do love him, you really do. The smile that graced his face a few seconds earlier is now a goofy grin that stretches from ear to ear. It’s a smile that scares you a bit because you still don’t understand the reason behind it.

“You,” he points in your direction before gesturing to himself, “love me.”

By this point, a string of laughter leaves you since he keeps repeating the same three words. “Yes I love you; why is that so unbelievable?”

“It’s not unbelievable,” he smirks and it is all so very Kim Taehyung. “But why did it take you so long to tell me? I mean, we’ve been friends forever.”

You slump against the wall, “And that is precisely the reason why. I-I didn’t want to ruin what we had already. You’re my best friend Tae, and I didn’t want to lose that. It also didn’t help that we were having sex together; I think that just made me fall harder, honestly.”

“I thought you wanted to keep it all no-strings-attached?”

“I did,” you sigh, “but it just all got so complicated.”

“Well, if it helps,” Tae starts, placing a hand along your cheek, “I’m in love with you too.”

He says it all so nonchalant that you barely catch the in love part. “You what?”

Tae looks down at you, now cupping both your cheeks, “I love you, y/n.”

“Are you just saying that because I confessed?” You’re in denial that Tae could be in love with you too because how can that even be? You were positive that he never saw you as more than a friend.

“Of course not; I think I’ve been in love with you since high school,” he admits, cheeks tinging a shade of red. “You were the cute girl in English class that all the boys liked, and I was just lucky to have gotten paired up with you on that project. When we became friends, it felt like a dream—I felt like I won the lottery. And because we were friends, I decided to suppress my feelings because you were important to me. But that winter break back in eleventh grade ruined me though. I have never regretted and cherished a night so much in my life.

“I figured I could live with simply being a friend who you fucked because I thought it was what you wanted. Now, however, I can see that we’ve been on the same boat all this time.”

When you hear his confession, you feel like so much heartbreak could’ve been prevented. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He shrugs, “The fear of rejection, I guess. Being friends with benefits was comfortable and I was fine with it, until you completely walked out of my life.”

“I’m sorry,” you tell him. “I thought that was best. I thought you could live without me.”

“I could never live without you,” Tae’s eyes widen. “I was a mess without you these last six months. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Jay and Yoon.”

That’s when everything clicked, “You know Jay and Yoon?”

Tae smiles sheepishly, “Jay was a guy I used to hang with before I met you—our parents are friends. We haven’t talked in years and probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t decided to go home to visit my parents.”

“You did what?” this news shocks you. “They didn’t…they didn’t ask about me, did they?”

“Don’t worry, I just lied and said you were busy,” he says and you can breathe again. “But anyway, when I went home Jay happened to be in town too and when we went out for drinks, everything just spilled out of me. He then told me that his girlfriend used to be one of your close friends and I begged her to get in touch with you. And, since you’re here…I guess she did.”

Wow. This is all so unexpected. “So, you all basically devised this party just so you could see me?”

Tae just nods and you roll your eyes before shoving him away from you. Taehyung looks at you like you’re crazy. “What the hell, y/n?”

“Why can’t you ever just grab my attention like a normal person?” you ask him, and a smile returns on his face. “Why do you always sneak up on me?”

“You’ve always be fun to mess with.”

As Tae smiles at you, you decide to be spontaneous. You take that chance to fling yourself into his arms, wrapping your own around him. Tae reciprocates the hug and lets his head fall into the crook of your shoulder. “I really am sorry and I really, really do love you.”

Even though you can’t see his face, you can feel him smiling into your shoulder. “I know and I love you more.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” you tell him, smiling.

He raises his head, “I’ve loved you longer, idiot.”

“So? Time doesn’t determine the strength of someone’s love.”

“Yes, it does, because I loved you first.”

“No, it doesn’t because I loved you so much I was willing to let you be happy.”

“I love you more,” he says.

“No, I do.”

“I do.”

“Tae, I love you more—” before you can continue to express how much more you love him, he shuts you up with a kiss. You haven’t kissed him in so long, you can feel your head spinning. As his lips move against yours, you feel desires that you thought died start to come alive again. You mold yourself closer to him, needing to feel him against you.

You pull away from him and he moves down your neck, “Since you claim you love me more, you should show me just how much…”

He raises his lips of your skin immediately, “Oh yeah?”

Smiling, you nod and laugh when he picks you up. He walks you two to the bed in the room and throws you on it before climbing on top as well.

“I feel kind of bad for always using people’s bedrooms,” you say as he starts to unzip your dress.

“I guess it’s just our thing,” Taehyung smiles at you before leaning in for another kiss.

Our thing. You repeat the word in your head, and you swear you’ve never been happier.

#armiesnet #btsbookclub #bangtan bookclub #bts fic #bts smut #taehyung fic #taehyung smut #bts #bangtan #v #smut #angst #kpop fic #it's complicated #xbaepsae

439 notes · View notes