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shadowofahope · 2 years

Text

Answers

Warnings: Swearing, death, mentions of kidnapping, torture, stalking, obsessions, reincarnation, ANGST ANGST ANSGT.

Pairing: StrayKids!idolOT8 X Ghost!reader

Premise: Being alone and ignored was one thing, you were used to that by now. But having each member of an idol group barrelling into your safe little sanctuary was not something you could have imagined. Now being torn away from your tiny cozy room all you wanted to do was get back to it. Even it meant losing home.

Authors notes: 9.2K words. I'm going to start including a word count in each drabble, as I have realized some of these reach over 5k. It'll let people know if they're opening up a mini novel or a short piece.

masterlist

~🌒

The comfort of the dark room, the silence you are so accustomed to now. No longer cold and dim, but a neutral sanctuary.

Or so you thought….

The doors unwarningly open, and a scream echoes in your enclosed space. Your eyes fly open, and are hit with a harsh stream of light. Making your brain stumble at the impact.

Squinting you fumble out of the space, cumbersomely forcing yourself to your feet. Your ears finally begin to work again as you can hear faint muffled speech smacking you in the head.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t know anyone would be hiding in there!”

“I was napping, not hiding.” You correct, rubbing your eyes, hoping the spinning would stop soon. Your eyes slowly begin to focus. When was the last time the light was on?

“Why would you nap in a closet?”

“It’s comfier than you’d thin-” Wait. Did you hear that right? The voice chuckles. Your eyes swim back to vision as you face your intruder.

“You’re Hyunjin. From StrayKids!” Really? In this whole situation that’s all you got? You mentally slap yourself. You had bigger things to worry about.

“Yeah! Are you a fan?” He replies brightly.

“Uh…” You take in his form from his iconic shoes to his blonde hair. “Was…?”

Looking at his face, more important his eyes. Yep, he’s definitely looking at you.

“Was? Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” His smile falters, but he recovers quickly.

“What are you doing here?” His outfit and makeup tells you he is filming something. But if he’s here then the others must be and a whole production team, which to you sounds like a right nightmare. Well it would be if you could have one.

“We’re filming for our new music video. What are you doing here?”

“Napping.”

“You came all this way, to this run down old building… to nap?” He looks at you skeptically, but you’re too lost in examining the room. An old classroom, the posters still on the wall hold some faint colour to them. Your favourite drawing hanging up was blue not black. Huh, who would have thought.

“Uh huh”

If anyone had asked you this morning if you would be standing here having a conversation with Hyunjin of Straykids, you would have laughed at them. Wait… you clearly missed something important.

Before you could open your mouth to assure yourself, the door of the classroom bursts open and three more members of skz file in.

“Hyunjin, we've been looking everywhere for you!” Changbin yells at him.

“We thought we heard a faint scream, we assumed it was you.” Jisung laughs.

“Oh so funny” He rolls his eyes.

“Who’s this?” Seungmin asks, eyes staring directly at you. Oh great, another one.

“I’m not sure I just met her. She was napping in the closet.” Hyunjin explains, gesturing at you.

“Well, Hi I’m Ji-” Jisung starts as the three members walk over to you.

“I know who you are.” You are struggling to keep your face blank from your rising panic.

“Apparently she used to be a fan” Hyunjin chuckles awkwardly. The atmosphere in the room becomes a shade dimmer.

“Can we ask what your name is?” Seungmin tries to divert the tension.

You shake your head. “You guys should go now. You have filming to do right?”

They all stare at you, something hanging in the air that they can tell something isn’t quite right.

The silence is broken by Changbins cough, “She’s right, we need to head back.” He nudges the others to remove their cemented feet. All giving you a quick goodbye before leaving the room, all but Hyunjin.

“Will you be alright?”

“I’m fine.” You give him a faint smile before he’s nodding and heading out the door. You wait until you’re sure you can no longer hear their footsteps, before completely freaking out.

“HOLY SHIT!” You yell as you run around the tables. “How did they see me? How can they hear me?! HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND THEM?”

You collapse onto the dirty laminate floor. You close your eyes, now letting the black unknown take you. You called it napping, really you weren’t sure what it was.

“What the hell is going on?”

No one answers you, no one ever answers you. No one knows you're here. It’s been over a year since the incident and you woke up in this building. Well this room to be exact, you’ve never been able to leave and lord knows you've tried. Eventually you gave up and accepted your confines as home, you don’t know how you ended up here. The markings on the walls indicated Korean, that much you could tell based on all the k-dramas you used to watch, but you had never been to Korea, so how did you end up in another country?

Too many questions, all of which you’d had given up finding answers to. But now meeting these 4 members, a whole new wave of questions came flooding in.

And once again you were left alone. With no answers.

~🌒🌓

You take your time opening your eyes, unsure of how much time you had been ‘napping’ but you let yourself regain at its own pace. Eventually your eyes begin to open, ready for the grimy ceiling tiles and rusty, broken looking light fixture. However, you are jolted awake when you realize that's not the ceiling above you. This ceiling for 1 is clean, 2 white and 3 all the bulbs are working. You jolt yourself up right, hastily looking around the room. There’s no way you could be anywhere but that old room, so how are you seeing someone's living room, you must be imagining it.

You hear shoes scuffling towards a hallway to what looks to be a front door you shoot to your feet, backing up to the opposite end of the room. There’s no way anyone could see you, but these turn of events were enough to put you on edge.

Your thoughts ricoshay around you, deafening you to the figures entering through the door. One of them stops mid sentence as he comes face to face with you as he enters the living room.

“Who are you?” Chan barks.

Can he see you too? You struggle to answer. Confusion evident on your face.

“How did you get in here?” He stands his ground, his voice rising in what would be a dominant, intimidating way, but you’re too concerned that once again you have been seen to feel threatened.

The other 3 figures rush in behind him, upon noticing you their expressions change from fear to worry.

“You’re the girl from the mv shoot we met.” Jisung voices out.

“This-” You point around the room. “Is your dorm?”

“I’ll ask again. How did you get in here?” Chan asks again. Voice less threatening.

You take a step back, going over everything that happened that day to now. This can’t be real. Scanning each member quickly, you notice something. You point at Changbins now blonde hair and Hyunjins now dark hair.

“How long ago was that? The video shoot?” Your voice comes out shaky, you’re trying to swallow back the rising emotions bubbling in you.

“A couple weeks ago?” Changbin offers.

That’s it, a couple weeks? How have you been out that long? I mean it’s not like you could tell time with a broken clock, but weeks. You start pacing back and forth muttering to yourself. “How is this happening? This can’t happen. It’s impossible- but then again, I thought I was impossible. So maybe not impossible? But that doesn’t make any sense.”

You don’t hear the front door opening and the other four members enter until you hear Seungmin exclaim.

“Hey, why is the shoot girl here?”

You halt in your steps, turning to them.

“Shoot girl?” Felix asks.

“The girl we said we ran into at the mv shooting.” Seungmin shrugs.

“OK, so you guys felt the need to invite her over?” Minho huffs next to him.

“No offense, but that doesn’t sound like the smartest thing to do Hyungs” I.N. gestures behind them.

“We didn’t invite her, she was here when we came in.“ Hyunjin defends dramatically.

You can feel your voice clawing it’s way out, but before you can think the panic has taken over.

“Hold on. WAIT. You can see me?”

“Is that a joke?” Chan asks. Your cold hands rub against the skin on your face. This is really a nightmare.

“You can all see me. You can all hear me. You can all understand me.” You state, the shock finally breaking your blank shell. You see them all nod, distrusting eyes watch you as your feet restart their pacing.

“This can’t be happening.” This time you're not mumbling. “ I can’t be here. How is this happening? Oh god- I need to get back to my room.”

“You mean that old classroom? That’s your room?” Jisung can’t help but ask, but he’s stopped short of completely asking you things when Minho nudges him in the ribs with his elbow.

The pacing stops as you stare at them. “You don’t understand. I haven't been able to leave that room in over a year.”

“What? Has someone been keeping you there?” Jisungs exclaims, followed by another nudge to his ribs.

You can’t help but laugh dryly, if only it was that easy. “I stopped asking those questions a long time ago. Seriously though, none of you should be able to see me.”

“Why because you have your invisibility cloak on?” Minho sneers at you.

You stare blankly at him. Walk over to the table, pulling your hand back you aim to push all the items off the table. Your hand collides with nothing, phasing through the objects. You smirk at his shocked face, arms crossing over your chest in triumph.

“No, because I’m a ghost.” Now the feelings of being annoyed started to build. “And like I said, I’ve been stuck in that room for a very long time with no idea how to leave. And no one has been able to see me until you showed up. And then I wake up here, in your space weeks later. AND to top it all off, I don’t speak Korean so how the hell are we having this conversation?”

~🌒🌓🌔

“So you’re dead?”

“If he asks me that one more time I’m going poltergeist on this place” You threaten, turning to the eldest two.

“What happened to you?” IN calls your attention. The room becomes dead still. The continuous shuffling and side comments coming to an abrupt stop. Unclear certainty fields the room, from them upon realizing they may have crossed a line in their maknae asking so bluntly. And from you… well for very different reasons.

“Wrong place, wrong time?” You will your voice to come out steady and nonchalantly. However, your body betrays you. Leg bouncing in your seat on the couch, hands showing a slow tremor. “Look, I’m not really sure. I can’t remember. All I know is one minute I was walking along this backroad to my place from being with friends. I had my headphones in, I was listening to a random playlist when………..-wait-”

A subtle drifting melody passes by your ears. Like it was traveling on a motionless breeze. The sound ebbing in and out of your being.

“I think one of your songs was playing” Wide eyes jump to each member as the beat lingers. “and then I woke up in that room. That’s it. Nothing in between”

“Maybe someone was meant to find you in that room? Like we were? It’s easy enough to come and go in that building.” Hyunjin hums, trying to put the broken pieces of a puzzle together.

“That’s the weird thing, others have filmed there before and no ones ever seen me.” You shake your head at him. “Actually no ones ever been able to come into the room before. I can see the reflection through the hallway windows, there’s always been a padlock and chain on it. How did you get in?”

“There wasn’t anything like that, the door was partially open when I Found it.”

Too many coincidences… that's what this is….if you could feel your skin, you’d say it was beginning to itch.

“Strange. Why did you go in that room? Were you randomly searching all the rooms?” Minho’s careful eyes watch the younger one carefully.

Hyunjin shakes his head. “No, that was the only room I went into. I just felt like there was something… that I had to see…”

“Wait. So the last thing you heard was one of our songs before nothing and you just happened upon a room that was mysteriously calling you?” Jisung questions wide-eyed. His large eyes bore into you.

“That sounds like we were meant to find you, somehow this was meant to be.” Chan nods to himself. His voice is warm and soothing, but there’s something chilled about his sentence.

Your vision ripples momentarily, whatever else they were saying you could no longer hear. Only a deep raspy faltering voice.

‘It was love at first sight. We are meant to be.’

And then they were back. All 8 pairs of eyes staring at you, clearly someone had asked you a question.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Are you ok?” Chan's thoughtful gaze makes you feel slightly uncomfortable.

“Uh yea yea fine. Everything is just a lot.” You try to give them a reassuring smile. They must have seen the look of loss in your eyes, hoping to move on from the subject.

“I know y/n, but we promise we’ll figure it out together.” Followed by several agreeances, and encouraging smiles.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕

“I already regret agreeing to help you.” Seungmin’s voice mumbles tiredly from the couch.

You can’t stop the evil giggle from bubbling out of your mouth. Your day spent getting used to your new surroundings, figuring out which door went where, whose room was who’s, who was the easiest to poke fun at when you were bored.

“You? At least you can leave to your own dorm rooms. She’s here all the time.” Changbin huffs coming out of his room.

“Guys be nice to noona! You’re acting like she’s a disobedient pet or something.” Jisung scolds from the dining table.

“She’s like an angry chihuahua that pees on everything just because she knows it’ll annoy us.” Seungmin retorts annoyedly, eyes still fixed on the tv.

“Exactly!” Changbin agrees a little too enthusiastically for your liking. Plopping down next to Seungmin.

“Did you just call me a chihuahua?” You shoot them a look of disgust. “Ew.”

“If you stopped acting like one we’d stop calling you one behind your back.” Minho eventually joins the conversation from the other end of the dining table to Jisung. His face was blank as always.

“Linoring, not you too!” Jisung whines dramatically, falling back in his chair, face stricken with dismay and disappointment to the dancer.

“Sorry jagi” Minho mumbles looking away from the huffy chipmunk, slight pink dusting his cheeks as he accidentally makes eye contact with you. Purposefully, at least on your end, catching the smirk on your face as you wiggle your eyebrows at him knowingly.

“Thank you sungie! Besides, It’s not my fault you guys are boring.” You groan in frustration. “When did Lixie and Innie say they would be over?”

“IN said he was finishing his game while waiting for lix to finish his baking and then they’d be over.” Seungmin's voice makes you feel even more disheartened.

“If I could die again it’d be from boredom. I want Lixie.” You cry out.

You hear Changbin mumble something under his breath about you being dramatic, in retaliation you whip around to give him another dramatic show, but are hit with the room beginning to spin. As if the world is tilted on its axis you stumble slightly, eyes flying shut and a ringing in your eyes. Regaining your balance a pained groan escapes you.

—-

“Noona? Noona!” Felix’s deep voice bounces in your still pounding mind.

“Lixie?” Your staggering mind manages.

“How did you get here?” You hear I.N’s surprise. Begrudgingly you pry your eyes open, blinking the world back to alignment.

“I dunno.. I was complaining about seeing you guys and then I felt like I was hit with mega vertigo and… here I am.”

And here you were. Standing in an almost identical dorm room kitchen to the first one, individuals items being the only difference you can see.

“Are you ok?”

“That’s so cool!”

Both chime at once. You can’t help but laugh at them.

“Yes I’m ok, it was just really abrupt. I was not ready for it.” You smile softly at Lix, before turning to give I.N a mischievous smirk. “...do you think I’d be able to do it again?”

“Please tell me you’re going to try it right now.” I.N comes over to you excitedly, his game completely forgotten. “Wait! I have an idea!”

You watch as he races back to the computer to grab his phone. You and Felix share a confused look.

“I’ll text everyone in the group to see if they’re all decent. I won't say why and then you pick a member and try to poof to them.” He begins typing away on his phone.

“Oh this I’m ready for. And don't say poof. It's weird.” The mischievous look on the maknaes face only amps up your own. The youngest was always ready to cause a ruckus with you.

He rolls his eyes at you, but doesnt respond.

“Ok everyones good. Chans in his studio, the others are either in the other dorm, the gym or wandering around the city.” IN eagerly informs you both.

“Did you at least give them a warning? If this does work?” Felix, trying as always to be the voice of reason for you two. Always worrying about what you two would end up doing to the others. Felix and his soft heart.

“Yeah’” IN waves off. “Give it a try y/n”

Focusing on one member you begin to try to will yourself to him. Your eyes close, the world tilts and the ringing hits.

“See you later!” You chime, an evil smile plastered on your face, and then poof.

----

“Do you think it worked?” Felix paces back and forth in worry. They hadn’t heard anything from anyone for over 5 minutes, he was beginning to worry you got lost somewhere.

“Well she’s not here anymore, so I’d assume so.” IN comments, composure set in his shoulders as he watches the older continue in his steps.

The group from your previous location burst into the dorm. Eyes wild, almost panic stricken.

“Have you guys seen y/n? She was in the dorm and then she just vanished! We can’t find her.” Jisung wails, coming in first. Clearly the most concerned out of the group.

“Yea, she was here just here.” Felix remarks, finally his feet coming to a rest.

“Was?”

“We're waiting for touchdown.” IN shrugs, now scrolling through his phone absentmindedly.

“What?”

The maknaes phone notification appears on his screen and the ringtone he set goes off. A bright smile erupts on his face as he answers it, placing it down on the table as he hits speakerphone for everyone to hear.

“You couldn't have given a better warning?!” Chan's exasperated voice comes through the line.

“I said heads up.” IN chuckles.

“Heads up was not enough to have my heart leap out of my body. She appeared out of nowhere. How was I supposed to be ready for that?!” Chan howls. IN can’t contain his laughter at his leader's cries.

“It worked?!” Felix beamed, eyes now sparkling with joy at you not being sent to god know where.

“Yes Lix it worked.” You sang from Chan's end of the phone.

“Greeeeaaaaat.” Less than excited groans break out mixed with genuine cheers.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖

“Um y/n, did you visit me at some point today?” There’s a slight tremble to IN’s voice as he returns to the dorms, not even taking his shoes off to come find you in the kitchen.

“No? I was with Changbin all day.” You chime brightly from your perch on the counter, legs swinging back and forth as you watch Changbin struggling to make a meal.

“As annoying as it was, yeah she was with me the whole time. Why innie?” Changbin turns to the younger, concern written all over his face. You were still learning about the kids, how each one's reactions played a part in their personalities. But they knew each other better than themselves.

“I swear it felt like something was there today.. I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things” IN huffs, shoulders slumping and head cast down. You catch his demeanor shift this time. Hopping off the counter you walk over to him, angling to catch his eyes now trained to the floor.

“Can you show me where?” You smile at him sweetly. “I’ll take a look for you.”

He doesn’t say anything, only giving you a small nod, finally making eye contact again.

You and Changbin trapse after IN through the company hallways, he had been silent the whole trip there. Something had seriously left the maknae shaken, something you were determined to get to the bottom of. Only you are allowed to scare these boys now.

Changbin steps to walk alongside IN now, draping an arm over his shoulders. You are left a few steps behind. As they take a turn down the last hallway, you can feel it.

You don’t have a body anymore, you know that logically, but somehow there’s a heaviness to your steps that leave you stunned silent. If you had to breathe the air would appear thick, sinking to the bottom of your lungs. But you don’t and you almost have to convince yourself of that fact.

The boys step into the open doorway vanishing into the room. You feel as though there’s a tickle on the back of your neck. The only thing you can think of that it reminds you of is the breath of someone standing too close behind you.

You swear you can hear a whisper of a voice behind you. Instinct tells you to look behind you, but you don’t. The hallway is empty, your voice in your head tells you, you don’t have to worry anymore.

Wait. Why did you have to worry?

You blink several times, pushing away your confusion. Now wasn’t the time to dwell on yourself. You step into the room to see the two of them standing in the center of a vocal room, eyes darting around as IN’s voice finally speaks up.

“It was in here.” He gestures to the room. “I was sitting at the piano, facing away from the door and I felt like something came in. But I had the door locked. When I turned around I was just expecting to see you, but there was nothing.”

You walk over to where the keyboard is positioned, glancing over at the door you all had just come through. And just like that your breath would have hitched if you had one.

“What is it y/n?” Changbin asks from behind you.

“I think we should head back.” Your eyes follow something in the room, moving up to the ceiling. “We can all talk about it together.”

“Sure?” The suspicion in Changbins voice does not go unmissed by you.

“You guys go first, I’ll meet you there.”

You can't see the shared look of distress passed between the two as you hear them leave, mumbling something as they go. You always fazed home first, too impatient to wait for them and wanting to annoy the next person as soon as possible. So you deciding to stay behind was something that stirred anxiety into them.

You want to reassure them, but you can’t. You can’t look away from what you’re seeing. You can feel them getting farther away from you, a forced faze back to the dorms.

You hated accidentally falling out of their proximity, some force slapping you to their side. Always leaving you extremely disorientated. So you avoided it at all costs. But no this time, you feel the pull but you fight against it as you swear you can almost make out what you’re seeing. It’s on the tip of your tongue and that’s where it dies as you hear the same chilling voice rasp to you as before.

“Don’t worry, once you let go of everything else we can finally be together.”

And then you’re wrenched back to the dorms.

Stumbling to the floor you are met with 6 sets of eyes. The group chat had been notified as soon as the two left you behind. They were all waiting for you to return. Shortly after IN and Changbin returned, IN explaining what happened with him.

Then it was your turn. But somehow you couldn’t remember what you thought you might have seen, the emotions you felt now fuzzy and muddy in your head.

“I'm not sure what it was, but it left a heavy residue. Like I could see where it had been on the walls and floor. I think it would be safe if you all traveled in pairs when you’re outside the apartments. Something just doesn’t feel right about it.” You think out loud. “Just being cautious until we can figure this out, I mean.”

“Yea, I think that’s a good idea.” Chan agrees after replaying your words. “I’ll call and get our schedules moved around so no ones alone.”

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖

As the weeks progressed, the boys were becoming more unsettled. Even in pairs they claimed to feel like they were being watched or followed. Any and everywhere outside the dorm building, mostly at work and then a trickling of outside.

All the while you couldn’t shake forgetting something. There was something important you needed to remember. But everytime drawing a complete blank as to what it actually was.

Your napping was also impossible now. Once being able to drift into nothing, is now replaced with the cold chill of hands on your skin, dark murmurs against your ears and the overwhelming feeling of grief. As scared as you were when you came back to the world, you couldn't remember exactly what had happened. Couldn’t place the familiarity of the hands, the voice and the words.

You remained upfront with the members, explaining to Chan the ominous dissociative states you found yourself in. And how sometimes it wasn’t you that did it. One moment you could be with them and then the next gone. However, you would put everything you had into fighting it off, it had become frequent for almost a week, before you started to reel it in. it had been days since the last time, finally feeling like you had some control…

Until it hit you again.

The boys were either napping in their dorms or watching tv or eating, some even opting to go to the company for some extra practice. It was an off day for them, all free to roam about as they pleased. You had walked into the living room of the Lee’s dorm when you are halted by a sudden wave of forgetfulness.

“Are you ok, y/n?” You can hear Felix’s voice swim into your fog.

“Yea, I just uh…forgot why I came in here..” You give your head a little shake trying to wave off the clouding fog that was slowly becoming thicker as the seconds ticked by.

You could see through the glaze of your vision, like you were looking through a window of ice, three figures coming closer. You hear their muffled voices as you stumble slightly.

“I’m fine-” You slur out. Unknowing what they were actually saying to you. “I-”

“I know why you’re fighting me so hard. You want me to prove my love for you, don’t you worry I’m not going anywhere.”

The voice envelopes you like a cement blanket, your vision darkening….

“Y/N!”

You immediately snap out of it, standing straight, eyes now clear. “Hyunjin!”

And you phase out.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗

Staggering a couple of steps, you attempt to catch yourself but fail. You plummet forwards to the floor, hands coming out to catch yourself. The ringing is excruciatingly loud now, lights in the room blindingly bright.

Where are you? Someone screamed your name, who was it…? You knew who it was.

Painfully slow you wince as you lift your head to look around the room. Light reflections from the far end. Mirrors, those must be mirrors…dance studio. Your vision is still swimming, unable to focus, if you weren’t already certain you’d think you were underwater with how submerged you feel.

Peering over to the side, shifting your head as little as possible. Gut twisting nausea hits you as you vaguely make out a figure lying on the floor. Fighting through the unseen force dragging your body down, one limb at a time you begin to crawl over.

Your voice coming out in a weak attempt, “Hyunjin”.

A feeble moan comes from the blurry figure, still unmoving.

Hand moving forward to continue moving, don’t stop moving.

‘I-’

“Hyunjin!” Ignoring the voice banging itself against your skull you have to get to him.

‘You-’

“Hyunjin!” Finally movement from the figure. Only a few more shuffles and you’ll be able to reach him.

‘Me-’

Finally leaning over the figure you can now see some of him. Your mind is stuck in a fishbowl view. He’s lying on his back, chest rising and falling in deep rhythmic breathing. He didn't seem like he was in pain. You want to touch him, make sure he’s ok, somehow wake him up. Go for help. What you wouldn’t give to be able to go get help right now. Who did Hyunjin say he was coming here with? Why can’t you remember anything?

Who was at the dorm? Felix, Minho and IN. Who did he leave with?

‘-estiny’

‘SHUT UP!’ You scream back in your mind. You needed to think, but you couldn’t even hear yourself try.

‘-ove’

You grapple with your mind to think clearly, you just had to make your body work too. “SEUNGMIN!”

As his name leaves you the practice room door swings open. Faces you couldn’t recognize and eyes that couldn’t see you crowd around Hyunjin. Seungmin’s face comes into focus, as the chaos carries the unconscious dancer out.

“Y/N, what happened?” He finally asks when everyone else left the room, crouching down to you.

“I don’t know, he… I heard him yell my name from the dorm and I ended up here.”

“Everyone heard him yell. That’s why we all came running. Did anything else happen? I’m going to go find out if he’s ok, but is there anything I need to know? Are you ok?” As he spoke, the water from the room began to drain. Your eyes focusing once again on your surroundings, the ringing dying out.

“No, just go with him, I’m fine.” You wave him away, he only hesitates for a moment before leaving you alone in the room 2 unopened, iced water bottles lay in his place. He must have gone to get them water.

Pushing from your hands, you fumble to sit.

“What do you want?” A broken whisper comes out of you, voice almost sounding not like your own. Eyes trained to the ceiling.

This time the fade out is slow, like you can feel it fluttering down on you like a fresh sheet.

The same infuriating voice sounds as you slip away.

‘I love you and you love me. We’re destiny.’

~🌒🌓🌔🌕

Movie night was demanded of all of you when you finally returned from your ‘nap’. Hyunjin was not able to remember what happened, but he did remember calling your name. But he said it felt more like a warning call than him wanting you to come help him. You were all unnerved by this, but upon long late night discussions you all agreed to let it rest for now. They had a hectic schedule coming up after the next few days of being off.

They were scheduled to go overseas for some promotional work, you were excited about traveling when they first told you. But as time ticked on and you let your mind wander you became increasingly uncomfortable with it. Maybe you could stay behind in the dorms? You could wait for them to get back.

The credits begin to roll over the screen breaking all of you out of your 20 minute silence. The plot twist actually surprises you all near the end, leaving you quietly focused.

“Reincarnation would be pretty cool.” Jisung’s eyes wide in disbelief, finally someone speaking.

“You know what would be even better?” Felix wiggled his eyebrows at his birthday twin, only to have him shake his head in response. “If we all got to do the next life together!”

“Yes!” Jisung cheered, hands thrown in the air in excitement. Snacks completely forgotten in bowls on the table and floor.

“It does make sense. None of us could manage alone anymore, at least I wouldn’t be able to.” Chan laughs at the dramatic younger ones, as they both throw themselves into their leader's lap. Fits of giggles erupting.

“You really want us to all do this again?” Minho complains, the thought already exhausting him.

“Of course!” Felix continues to giggle as Chan gives him a hug, Changbin tickling him on his other side.

“You don’t want to?” Jisung already pushed away from the fight to turn his large puppy eyes to Minho. Pout forming on his lips, forcing Minho to look away abruptly. The question caught the other members' attention.

“It’s not that…” Each member staring at him patiently waiting for his answer. He huffs and rolls his eyes. “Alright, the next life we do together.”

“Promise?” Felix turns on his puppy eyes, following Jisung’s lead.

“Promise.” The others all say in unison.

You snicker to yourself, perched behind them all clustered on the couch, how were they so adorable to each other but also extremely annoying?

Clearly your noises didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y/n, do not even think you can go to the next life without us. ALL of us” Hyunjin glares at you.

“What am I supposed to do? Wait for you?” You feign irritation. Next life huh?

“Yes!! There is no way in hell you are being reincarnated without us, we can finally annoy you then, instead of you just annoying us. And we’ve all just promised to have the next life together, so you’re stuck with us.” Changbin demands, the tone in his voice pushing through the idea that this was final.

“Too bad. You don’t have a choice now.” Minho smirks at you, causing you to mimik him from before, eyes rolling in mock disgust.

The next life with these weirdos? You guess that’s something you could do. Maybe this is what having a home could feel like… being not alone and being wanted made you feel something again. Something you hadn’t felt for a long time, something you had almost forgotten.

Trying to hide a smile you turn away from them, “Whatever.” is all you can manage.

Two more days of having them all to yourself then it’s back to business. Discomfort settles in you again, yea maybe you’ll stay home. You’ve gotten pretty good at poltegiesting the tv on and netflix, slowly being able to move things slightly, playing around with equipment they brought into the dorms. Hey, maybe they can leave you some stuff to attempt to interact with.

You’d be ok here alone. Something in you was saying you should stay back. This time you’d listen to your gut feeling.

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗

“Where exactly are we going?” You whine from behind the group. They all had insisted you went out tonight, something to do with having fun to distract from all the creepiness that now was a part of their daily lives. And also their impending work trip.

“We told you it’s a surprise.” Minho huffs annoyingly at you.

“And I told you I don’t like surprises.” You grumble, continuing to wander down a gravel path through a large park. The evening had darkened the sky, however along the path they had taken it was illuminated with string lights. The trees break up ahead and you can see even more lights. You squint trying to get a better idea of what the heck this was.

“No way-” Your mouth hangs open.

A pop-up carnival, adorned with beautiful lights, multiple rides, little shops, tents and so many more options. The night air is buzzing as you look at the others who are waiting for you.

“Surprise!” Hyungjin beams.

“Time to have fun.” Felix chirps before gesturing forward, and that was all the invitation you needed to enjoy yourself tonight.

—-

After a few hours and your second round of the carnival, each member is stuffing their faces with some form of snack. You notice a smaller trailer just out of the main circle trail.

‘Tarot reading/Fortune reading/Psychic medium’

Your pace slows as you feel a slight pull towards it.

“Oooo a psychic!” Jisung shouts excitedly from beside you, making you jump a little. “Should we check it out?”

“Aren’t they all just scammers?” Seungmin deadpanes towards the marked trailer.

“We have the perfect thing to test them out.” Minho counters. “If they pick up on y/n then they are real, if not they are fake”

You nod to the group. That does make complete sense.

“I’m in.” You smile before skipping your way over the boys following close behind, the Medium didn’t have a line or anything so it seemed like this would be a quick visit. If anything you could knock some things off their wall if they got things wrong. It’d be fun regardless.

Upon entering you instantly notice a thick foreboding smog that clung to the air. Something in the back of your mind is telling you to leave, barely one foot inside the trailer. The members crowd in around you giving you a chance to take in the small space. A burgundy wall of curtains behind a small counter with a korean sign you couldn't read.

The members had been helping you learn to read Korean but some things and words were harder than others.

The walls of the trailer you could see had trinkets and lace draping meticulously and delicately placed with symbols you had never seen before. However, each symbol makes you feel a certain way…You couldn't describe it but it was as if you glanced a little too long you’d either feel nauseous, giddy or incredibly nervous. Unable to focus on one thing, your mind hyper tracked every thing in the tiny room.

Everything except the curtain opening slightly.

A young couple arm in arm walked out merrily, smiling at nothing but each other. Clearly given some form of good knews, fake or not. You watched them walk out before turning back to the group.

“Next please~” A tender voice sang out from behind the curtain. Still shifted to the side, the members share a look before walking through, you only hesitate for a moment, the panic of wanting to run weighing down on you. Pushing past it you follow them into the other portion of the trailer.

Entering the room the thick feeling no longer clings to you. It’s like it was trapped in another space. The room coloured in deep tapestries, symbols, mirrors and prints along the walls. A bookshelf full of old looking books, crystals splayed around them. Crystals hang from the ceiling in bottles and in cages, along with plants around the whole of the room. You almost feel comfortable here, that is until a voice brings you out of your wonder.

“Normally I’d request all excess energies to remain outside, however I do not believe I have to this time.” The female voice sings. “You’ve brought someone with you.”

She’s hidden by the members all crowding around her table, it’s not until they all take their seats that you finally get a look at her. The years have aged her….not well to put it nicely. Her body frail, hands shake slightly as she covers her mouth to stifle a laugh.

Changbin looks over at you, giving you a ‘what the hell is this?’ kind of look. All the others were stunned, staring wide eyed at her instant recognition of you.

You shoot him a confused annoyed look, huffing at him to pay attention. In response he rolls his eyes and looks back to her.

“A young girl, your age I feel.” This time not hiding her laugh. “She’s a spunky one I take it?”

“Spunky is an understatement.” Minho mumbles under his breath.

If looks could kill, he would be dead with the glare you’re giving him, you stick your tongue out at them.

“I will give you my quick introduction, and what I normally do for people. However, I will be doing something a little different today.” She begins. “My name is Sengul. I offer Tarot card readings, communications with deceased loved ones or palm readings. But today let us discuss the young lady that has joined you today.”

You eye her carefully, clearly she wasn’t someone to be taken lightly. No one knew about you other than the 8 members, so she shouldn’t have been able to know you were there.

“Can you see her?” Jisungs voice squeaks out, shifting closer to Minho. MInho’s hand coming over to rest on the youngers tapping knee.

“No, but I can feel her.” The medium smiles at the nervous rapper. “She has a very strong presence. An aura if you will, a projection of emotions. And I take it upon your response to my words you all know of her?”

“Yes we do. We can see and hear her clearly.” Chan states confidently, you can tell by his tone he’s thinking over his words carefully.

“I see, and she has been here for quite some time?”

Eight heads nod simultaneously.

“And the other….presence?” Her voice drops.

“You can feel that one too?” Shock encapsules Felix’ normally tender voice.

“Both very different, both just as strong I fear.” Sengul murmurs to herself, thinking out loud.

“Should we be worried?” Chan’s face morphs into a deadpan, quiet demands.

“All I feel from the young lady is pure… love.” Panicking you train your eyes to the floor. You weren’t good at talking about your feelings. It was easier to hide behind shrewd comments, bitter banter and condescending tones. And now she was laying it all out for them, all your feelings for them. “The need to protect is strong. Also the need to not be alone, not for the fear of being alone but of loving too strong. Wanting to be with the people you so deeply care about continuously. Doing everything you can to procure someone's happiness. There’s a sense of ‘if you are happy then I am too’. Not done for selfish reasons but out of love for them.”

If you can’t see them then they can’t see you right? You wished the ground would actually swallow you whole right now, you didn’t want to have to talk about this later, knowing the boys would pester you about this when you got out of here.

But she doesn't stop. “A soul who chooses comfort and trust in the living can open up their doorway to be seen and heard like she has with you. But this takes complete trust in the individual, for a whole group to be given that is truly a gift in itself. Even if the soul itself is not aware of it, sometimes that’s where fate plays a part.”

“That would make sense as to why I saw her the first time.” Hyunjin’s voice comes out soothing, but you're too afraid to look up. Why did you have to be visible? “You mentioned the other?”

Thank god, please move on.

At first she only hums at his question, standing slightly to the side behind the members you look up at her. Fear of your feelings being known, now forgotten.

“I will be honest with you. I don’t believe this one to be like her. A putrid smell invaded my senses under her arua. It lingers on you the way soot would, gathering thicker and thicker on you each time. Draining you, like leech upon flesh. It is dark, something I myself am uncomfortable dealing with.” Her strong eyes trying to reach each member, the sincerity in her voice, the worry.

“Human..?” An unfinished question.

“It was once.”

“How can a human soul be something like this?” Minho’s hand tightens on Jisungs knee, who in return clasps his hand over his Hyungs, trying to now calm the rage set in the dancer's jaw.

“Sometimes, if a soul is truly corrupt in life it can form itself into something inhumanly evil. The reincarnation process is impossible. It can only cling to this world until it achieves what it wants.” Sengul looks apologetically at Minho.

“Achieving what?”

“Whatever it was after in the living. Once it has it, it will bleed it until the soul is lost into nothing. It will no longer exist. These fractured souls are everywhere, I’m surprised you’ve been able to feel one.” Sengul explains cautiously, hands trembling on the table.

“Maybe it's because we’ve been around y/n for so long, we can pick up on some now?”

“Perhaps” Medium hums, her sad eyes betraying her. There’s more she isn’t saying. “Perhaps you’ve just come into contact with it through somewhere you’ve been.”

‘Somewhere you’ve been’ echos in your head… ‘somewhere they’ve been…’

As the boys listen on, something draws you to the side of the trailer. An ornate gold framed oval mirror hangs among the vines and crystals on her wall. You don’t make a step closer, only turning enough to look at it. Stupefied in place, your eyes wide as the voices around you drown out. For the first time in years you make eye contact with yourself in the glass. Noticing a pair of steady eyes watching you through the glass, your body trembles as you let yours drift to them.

The reflection of the Medium is staring at you, your chest rising and falling as if you're struggling to control your breath. She gives you a soft, sad smile, her eyes beaming with so much…was this sympathy… or was it pity?

You break away to check on the others. Could they see what you were seeing?

The Medium and the members are still carrying on their conversation, unaware of what was happening to you. Clearly this was just for you. You quickly look back, making sure you hadn’t imagined it. Once again eyes finding the Mediums reflection still looking at you. So heartbroken.

As if slowly guided forward you began to step towards the mirror. The closer you get the more drawn you are to her. She stands from her stool, matching her steps to yours. With each step you feel an electric vibration through your body. Your hand reaches out to feel the glass in front of you, her doing the same. It almost feels as though you are making contact with someone, there's now despair engraved into the lines of her face.

Her lips don’t move when you hear her voice, “I am so sorry my child.”

Before you can ask her, her reflection fades away in a static like motion, morphing into a tall dark figure behind you. You can’t see any facial features, you don’t know what this is.

Something feels incredibly off, looking back at yourself you see a single tear escape down your cheek. The figure's hand reaches up behind you, fingers wrapping around your neck. Another tear breaks free when your eyes inevitably close, memories flood your mind. The dam finally broken, a dam you wish you could rebuild. But it's too late.

You remember.

“Nonononono, you can’t leave me. I’ll follow you, I’ll find you my precious. We’ll be together always”

~🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

You kept yourself relatively calm, at least on the outside. The days, hours, minutes even leading up to the boys traveling to Japan, were some of the most emotionally draining for you.

Watching them each pack a bag made you feel like they were the ones leaving you behind. Ultimately you knew that wasn’t true, they’d never leave you behind.

But still you smiled and waved as they left acting like you didn’t know what was coming next. Alone you wandered through the dorms, memories flashing in a vivid 4k movie you had saved.

Late nights talking with Minho about his hidden, not so hidden feelings for his soulmate. Leading to late nights talking to Jisung about the same thing. You give them what advice you could but ultimately leave the ball in their court if they were to bring it up with the other. Which to your joy they did.

Hours watching and rewatching Hyunjin dance over and over again, upon his request. Noting changes, weak steps, things he couldn’t see himself. Then you try to erase the doubts he had for himself in his abilities to master his own choreo. Him unloading his worries on you, for you to help amend.

Following Felix to his voice lessons, only for him to be overcome with nervousness at you listening. Unsure of how to use his beautifully comforting instrument. You encourage him to try more, different styles, different techniques and decide how he wants it to sound. Not how anyone told him he had to sound, believe in what he was singing for, himself.

No longer sitting idly as you all watched Chan overwork and overthink himself. His unableness to see his own worth in the eyes of others. You had gotten so worked up over him self-deprecating that you had snapped. Throwing every piece of importance that his existence brings to so many people, unrelenting confident laced compliments, until he broke down crying.

Bothering Changbin on his solo trips to the gym on days he felt weak. Too many worries about his members and his music filling his mind, making it hard for him to see his strength as a person. He stayed longer at the gym those days, trying to convince himself of his solidity. On these days you felt an even greater urge to voice and compliment him on his reps and stamina. It might have seemed like you were only feeding into this idea of muscularity, but he knew, he always knew why you were really there. And he always just laughed and said you were annoying, but he never asked you to leave him. And so you’d stay until the end.

Days observing the youngest members of the group. Each day growing more and more into bright men. Considerate, emotionally intelligent humans, finding themselves in a world of harsh criticisms and cruel expectations. But still, watching them thrive in the safety of the home they all created with each other was something beautiful in itself. The fearlessness of Seungmin and IN was something that people should be jealous of.

How can a world shrouded with darkness still hold so much light?

Each room now contains countless memories and moments you’ve locked away in your heart. Ones you will hold onto until the last moment, taking them with you. Not remembering your life wasn’t painful neither was remembering what happened at the end of it. What was truly the most excruciating was now saying good-bye to a home you remember, one you didn’t want to leave.

Making your way through the archives of memories you sit down at the dining table. Recording equipment, ipads and other electronics placed especially for you to kill time until they returned. Eyes glazing over, chest heavy, lingerings of a broken promise hanging in the air.

Exerting every ounce of strength left in you, you reach out to one of the machines.

A deafening click fills the room as the recording unit turns on.

~🌑

Voice recording:

‘Hey guys! Yea it’s me, y/n. Bet you didn’t know I could do this huh? Honestly I’ve been practicing trying to use this recording thingy myself for a while, and let me tell you it wasn’t easy *laughs nervously*

I uh just wanted to say thank you, ya know for letting me hang around you guys. I can’t tell you how bored I’ve been and this has been the single most exciting moments in my undead life. So yea, thank you for that.

But um…. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to say all this to your faces before leaving, so I guess I’m taking the coward's way out. Leaving this for you to find after I’m gone.

It doesn’t look like I’ll be waiting on the other side for you guys. I know I promised we’d all start the next life together, but uh…. I don’t… I won’t be having a next go at this. I guess this was meant to be my only life.

I realized what it was that was following you guys, and when I did I got all of my memories back from when I died. I won’t be getting into detail about that because… I don’t- I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want you guys to think about it. When I figured it out, I knew the only way it would stop coming after you was me.

…It only ever wanted me…

I know you’ll be upset and furious with me that I didn’t talk to you before deciding, but sometimes you have to make a hard decision for the good of the group right?.. and I uh… it wasn’t fair for me to let you guys deal with this when it’s my fault.

So I am sorry, but also not because I enjoyed annoyingly haunting you.

You’ll be getting on a plane to come back in a few days.

So I guess it’s time, if i don’t do it now I’ll chicken out. I have to go back to my room.. we’ll it’s not my room anymore.

*short pause*

I think that’s what scares me the most about this. Not the unexisting part, I mean, but having to go back to my old safe room. That isn’t so safe anymore, not with it being in there.

This, with you, was what being safe felt like. Even if it only lasted for a moment.

A part of me really hopes that when I walk through those doors you’ll forget all about me, so you won’t have to deal with it after I’m gone. I don’t want you to be sad, or feel guilty for my choice…. Do you think if I beg the universe hard enough it could happen? Here’s me hoping that maybe I’ll have more luck in death, than in life?

But it’s ok.

You will be ok.

I know these weren’t the answers we were hoping to find. These are just the answers we’ve been given.

I’d say see you later, like I always do but that feels like a lie now…

So I guess it’s Goodbye.

*long pause, sniffling can be heard over the recording*

I Love you guys.’

*CLICK end of recording *

masterlist

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taiblogcomics · 4 months

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We're Off to See the Wizard

Hey there, disqualifications. All right, I'm on the final thing in our stack! And we're gonna end the same way we started: with a FiM alt universe fic.

Here's the cover:

Yeah, remember way back when we did "Little Fillies" #1? And I was wondering if they'd do other Classics Reimagined titles? Well, here's one for you! And at least this time, I'm roughly familiar with The Wizard of Oz. Like, I've never read the original books, but I've at least seen the 1939 film a couple times. I know the basic plot from parody and reference and pop culture. I know enough to know the ruby slippers are movie only, and they were silver in the book! Anyways, a pretty nice cover for this. Same artstyle as the "Little Fillies" story as well. This one might grab a few more eyes, at least~

I think we'll do the same thing I did in the Little Fillies review, where I name the character as the original work, then parenthetically refer to the MLP character playing them. So obviously, our depressed farmgirl is Dorothy Gale (Applejack). She lives with Uncle Henry (Big Macintosh) and Auntie Em (initially Rarity, but when she's way into playing Big Mac's wife, they swap her for Granny Smith. They also change the role from wife to mother). While they're making changes, Dorothy demands to be switched into overalls. So much for the iconic gingham~

So, before long, a tornado comes a-spinnin' into the story. Auntie Em! It's a twister! Starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton! She chases her dog, Toto (Winona), into the bedroom. This keeps her from enterting the storm cellar instead. And she's gonna wish she'd been in there, because the tornado doesn't just destroy the house, it lifts the whole thing spinning and spinning into another dimension! One with brighter colours! The main comic so far has been in muted, sepia-like colours (not outright monochrome), but springs to "full" colour at this point.

When everything's stopped spinning, Dorothy (just assume this is followed by "and Toto" every time, unless I specify) takes a peek out into this wide new world. She's greeted, not by munchkins, but by Breezies, which is one of the only times they've ever appeared in comics. They're super-enthused to meet a new princess, Dorothy having crushed the previous one. Dorothy tells them that both these facts are wrong, only to be swiftly corrected with the shot of Nightmare Moon's legs sticking out from under the house, silver horseshoes in the air.

Who should enter now but the Good Princess of the North (Celestia). Dorothy objects to the lazy find-replace of "witch" for "princess", but Glinda or Celestia or whoever plows on ahead anyway. She introduces the concepts of one princess per cardinal direction, two good and two wicked, and the Unicorn of Odd (title drop!) who might be even more powerful. Dorothy is about to make a feminist comment, but is interrupted by Nightmare Moon's dissolving. The silver horseshoes are now relinquished, and Celestia forces them on Dorothy to keep the plot moving.

This version does mention the Deadly Desert surrounding the Land of Odd on all sides, which is why she can't immediately go home to Kansas. It's a bit distressing, but Celestia suggests heading east to the Emerald City where the Unicorn lives. And of course, the easiest way to get there? Follow the yellow brick road, of course. The Breezies agree to accompany her to the edge of their territory, and to Dorothy's relief, only the book is in the public domain. Thus, they don't have the rights to use any of the songs~

Finally, just as Dorothy is beginning to tire of the fawning reverence of the Breezies, they reach the end of their lands and part ways. They soon come all up ons a cornfield, and Toto begins to bark. Dorothy's worried for a minute, but it turns out to be just a scarecrow. To her shock, though, the Scarecrow (Pinkie Pie) begins to talk. She's very glad to have somepony new to talk to, since it's all been birds beore now. She's just terrible at scaring the crows, to her utter shame. She's just too good at making friends! See how she's made a new one just today~!

Dorothy uses her farm-found applebucking skills to knock the Scarecrow off her perch, freeing the straw-stuffed mare to move around and travel. And travel she does! She decides to accompany Dorothy on her journey, in the hopes of getting a brain from the Unicorn. She's happy enough with a head stuffed with straw, but what she really wants is to plan parties. Can't do that without a brain! And the comic ends as the pair set off, with Scarecrow also needing to be reminded they don't have the rights to the songs. But it's a comic book, so they won't be able to tell if she hums it instead~

Well, this seems like a lot of fun so far. Let's be honest, The Wizard of Oz is a lot more of an exciting and interesting story than Little Women. I'm sorry, but it's true. It'll appeal to your demographic a lot more, too. The roles seem pretty tailor-made for this, and Applejack is a natural snarker. So the asides and fourth wall breaks (there's a whole page of Celestia and Luna I left out to keep up the flow and to allow you to find the jokes on your own as you read) fit more naturally here. They got better at it here, with "Little Fillies" being their testing ground. I look forward to more of this, but alas, this is the only issue I have so far! Just like last time, we'll have to wait until I get a new shipment to finish the series~

Next week, though... Well, I have a few ideas I wanna explore. They'll tide us over in the meantime~

#comics #reviews #My Little Pony Classics Reimagined #My Little Pony Classics Reimagines: The Unicorn of Odd #The Wizard of Oz #Taiblog

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sleepy-achilles · 1 year

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Anything for you,

----

Leon stares down at his drawing confused. Why did his parents hesitate at his but enjoy cassies? Leon looks over at his sisters drawing. It's just swirls and squiggles. She is 3. Leon frowns as he takes in his picture of a monster. Was the colours wrong? He asked Uncle Scotty if the colours matched the picture in the book. He corrected Leon's colours. Was he also colour blind? Leon still needed to learn his shades. Each time he learns one they bring out a new stupid colour.

"Whats with the pout buddy?" A friendly voice asks. Leon looks up to see uncle Kevin, his hands behind his back. Leon just holds his picture up. "Hey, did you draw this?" Kevin asks. Leon lifts the picture higher so Kevin can see his face. Kevin chuckles as the boy nods. "Its amazing. I really love how you shaded it. Pretty impressive for a boy who sees in black and white" Kevin admits. He kneels down as Leon lowers the picture. "Is this picture why your upset?" Kevin asks. Leon nods slowly before reaching back for cassies. Kevin looks at the colourful mess and immediately understands. It got a better reaction then a monster from takers nightmares.

Kevin huffs. "Well...does this mean your too upset for..." Kevin begins. Leon looks at him with wide eyes. "Pizza!" Kevin cheers. Leon smiles widely and drops both pictures. Kevin is quick to place the box on the table as the small boy wraps his arms around his neck. "Thank you uncle kev" Leon whispers. Kevins eyes widen at the quiet voice but he's quick to squeeze the boy. "Anything for you buddy." Kevin mutters. He pulls back and looks at the bright green and blue eyes. "Now, how about we watch a film and eat pizza?" Kevin asks. "Bear?" Leon whispers. "Of course buddy, let's go" Kevin chuckles standing, resting the boy on his hip as he grabs the pizza box. "We can even get ice cream and waffles after" Kevin promises. Leon makes a happy little noise as he rests his head against kevins shoulder. Kevin just smiles.

----

"Please that's crap and you know it!" Cassie yells. "It was a honest mistake!" Leon fights back. "Leon, you know your shades, you know this" shawn sighs. Leon just wants the earth to eat him whole. "It was a mistake...the shade was slightly off to what I know as pink.." Leon whispers stepping back. "Enough. We have a show to get to" Taker huffs grabbing cassies bag. "Your not invited anymore!" Cassie yells at Leon before storming out. Shawn frowns and looks at Leon. "Ill film it for ya" Shawn promises. "Thanks." Leon mutters. Shawn kisses his cheek before following her. "We will talk about this later. Especially with you going in my office." Taker mutters before leaving and slamming the door.

Leon stands in the cold hallway, staring at the shut door. It was a honest mistake. The pink of the dress on paper wasn't the same shade as any in the shop. He asked for pink, to make sure. He tried to explain his situation to the shop owner. She promised it was pink. But of course it wasn't. Leon picks the dress up and folds it, placing it carefully on the hall table before moving to the living room to sit with Charlie.

20 minutes must pass before the door opens. Leon already knows its not a threat from the house and Charlie's relaxation but also his own sense. "Hey buddy" Kevin calls. "In here" Leon calls back. Leon turns towards the door as Kevin walks in holding the dress and a pizza box. "Your pa phoned. Said he didn't want you alone" Kevin states. "And the pizza?" He asks. "Oh that's all my doing" Kevin smirks placing it on the coffee table.

Leon sits back as Kevin sits next to him. "So, you wanna tell me what happened?" Kevin asks softly. Leon sighs and tilts his head back. "It was a stupid mistake. The pink in the book was a different shade to the dress. But that's normal. Ink is harder to tell then the real thing. So I asked the girl running the shop if she could help and she promised me the dress was pink." Leon explains. "Why would she lie?" Kevin asks. "I think she goes to my school.." Leon shrugs. Kevin chuckles. "Oh well, what's done is done. Cassie will be fine with it once she gets back" Kevin states.

Leon leans forward to grab a slice of pizza. "How do you know?" He asks. "She really wanted to wear that dress tonight. But the theme is pink, not purple." Leon huffs. "Because you brought her this" Kevin states. Leon leans back and squints at the doll in kevins hands. "What?" Is all he can say. "Your pa said she's wanted this for ages but taker won't budge. But, if you say you brought it for her to make up for tonight, I'm sure he won't mind." Kevin states. "You brought this...to make me a better brother in her eyes?" Leon asks confused. "Anything for you buddy" Kevin smiles. Leon just hugs the bigger man. "Thanks kev" he whispers. Kevin chuckles and hugs him back. "Our little secret. Just don't tell them you stole it" Kevin jokes. Leon rolls his eyes as he pulls back.

"So whatcha watching?" Kevin asks. "Bear and the big blue house" Leon shrugs as he eats a slice of pizza. "You went from watching documentary as a kid to watching kids shows as a young adult. You really are something else kid" Kevin states. "Nothin wrong with bears" Leon muffles. Kevin just rolls his eyes and laughs. "Sure isn't."

-----

"I don't know what to do" Shawn whispers. Kevin lifts his gaze from his coffee to the blonde hunched over infront of him. "Whats wrong?" Scott asks. "Its Leon. He hasn't been the same. He's become more violent, more angry, more criminal." Shawn admits. "Well, it is understandable. It was tough for him" hunter states. "We can't get through to him." Shawn sighs. "Have you tried vince or kane?" Sean asks. "Yep. Ended in fire." He mutters. Kevin huffs. Shawn looks at him. "You" shawn points. "What about me lush?" Kev asks. "He loves you. You talk to him." Shawn orders. "For you? Anything" Kevin jokes.

Kevin sips his coffee as the door swings open. "Your such a jerk!" Cassie yells. Shawn sighs. "Yeah? Really!? Next time you can fuckin walk home!" Leon yells back as he slams the door. "Why can't you just be a decent person?!" Cassie demands. "Why the fuck would I want your disgusting friends in my car? They live across town, cas! Are you paying for the fuel for that?! Because they sure as hell won't!" Leon snaps. "Besides they have their stupid fuckin babysitter" Leon huffs walking into the kitchen and cassie is quick to follow, throwing her back onto the sofa on her way. "Hey kids, how was school?" Shawn forces out. "Leon got kicked out of his math class!" Cassie yells. "You bitch" Leon growls. "Leon!" Shawn snaps. "Shes only doing this because I wouldn't give her dirty friends a ride home! They were covered in dirt and garbage. She's lucky I even let her ride home with me" Leon snaps. Kevin examines the scar on Leon's face. It looks a lot better from the first few months of it.

"Ok lets calm it down a notch yeah? Cassie, Leon has a right to deny your friends a lift and Leon, what did I tell you about Mrs Coopers class?" Shawn asks. "I didnt do anything! She started on me because I didn't want to look up! You can check my book, I did all my work until she kicked me out" Leon answers. "Hey kid?" Kevin cuts in. Leon looks at him. "Yes?" Leon asks. "Lets go and talk, yeah?" Kevin asks. Leon just nods and follows Kevin out to his car.

Leon leans against his car and folds his arms. "I have every right to be angry." Leon speaks. Kevin looks at him. "And I aint saying you don't. But do your parents, your little sister deserve that?" Kevin asks. Leon looks down. "No.." he mutters. "So why? Why take it out on them?" Kevin asks. "I don't mean to...it just happens." Leon admits. "I just get angry and snap." He adds. "Call me." Kevin states. Leon looks at him. "What?" He asks. "When you feel angry, instead of taking it out on them, call me. You know I understand." Kevin tells him. Leon sucks his lip in. "Why do you care so much?" Leon asks quietly. Kevin sighs and pulls him into a hug. "Because your my boy. You always will be." Kevin tells him. Leon hugs him back. "Ill always have your back" Kevin promises. "Ill do anything for you kev" Leon whispers. He felt the need to repay this man for all he's done.

"Not necessary kid, but I'll remember that" Kevin chuckles.

-----

Leon walks into the lockeroom confused. "Why's nwo just running around like it's the 90s?" Leon asks. "You don't know?" Finn asks. "If I'm askin, I clearly don't know" Leon retorts. "Dx is also running about" seth pipes up. "I had a nightmare like this once.." Leon begins as an arm wraps around his shoulders. "Hey lee, your uncle just gave me a hug and welcomed me to the family. You know anything about that?" Drew asks. "I only found out they were here a second ago. Which uncle?" Leon asks facing him. "Nash. Scott just handed me this" drew answers holding out a piece of paper. Leon smirks. Its smart. Bascially unreadable to the naked eye, but to someone who's spent their entire life learning different shades it isn't. "What? Does it say something?" Drew asks. "Something" Leon nods. "Ill be back" Leon adds before kissing drews cheek and walking off.

"Your boyfriend is weird man" riddle huffs. "Hey, hes not my boyfriend!...true but still" drew mutters rubbing his neck.

Leon makes his way down the hall. It isn't difficult to find the NWO locker room. It's right next to the Dx one. Probably something to do with Sean being in both. And technically Shawn. Leon knocks the door only to wince when hulk opens it. Ew. "Oh look, it's Michael's kid" hulk huffs. "And our nephew, let him in" Scott calls. Leon smirks and waves as hulk walks past with a scoff and he walks in. "You giving my tag partner false hope...again?" Leon asks. "Only way we could get a message to you chica" Scott smirks. Leon rolls his eyes and walks closer. "We have phones. Text" he states. "Pizza?" Kevin asks nodding at the box.

Leon pauses. "I have a match. I can't." He states automatically. "God look at your dad getting to you as if him and your pa didn't used to eat before fighting" Kevin chuckles before taking himself a slice. "Why did you call me here?" Leon asks. Kevin raises an eyebrow at the sudden change in attitude. "Scott?" Kevin asks. Scott looks at him. "Go find the others." Kevin tells him. "Alright." Scott chuckles. He pats Leon's shoulder before leaving. "You have a match tonight?" Kevin asks before taking a bite of pizza. "Yeah. Tag team championship match. Me and drew vs the usos." He answers. "Ill be in your corner tonight." Kevin states. Leon scans kevins face. "Why?" He asks. "I need you to do me a favour. I need you to..." Kevin trails off. "I need you to hurt someone" Kevin finishes.

Leon tenses. "I aint like that anymore" Leon whispers. "I know. But I also know your the only one who can do it." Kevin admits. Leon clenches and unclenches his jaw. He suddenly grabs a slice of pizza and begins eating it. Kevin chuckles softly. "Who is it?" Leon asks. Kevin smiles and motions him closer.

Kevin wasn't wrong. The whole nwo was in their corner, just like how the bloodline was in the usos. Leon's gut was churning as his and it wasn't the pizza. He was stood with the others outside the ring as dx and the nwo celebrated. Leon looks at Kevin who's leaning against the turnbuckle with Shawn.

"He did something to shawn. You know your pa. He refuses to tell taker....and well, we can't let him get away with it"

Leon can't fight the quiet growl as his eyes flash purple with anger.

Kevin listens to Scott and hunter as they talk to the crowd. "Drew and Scott both talked about you kidnapping my son earlier" Shawn mutters. Kevin just wraps an arm around shawns shoulders. "Just wanted to catch up with my nephew." Kevin states, his eyes landing on Leon. Taker wasn't out yet. He had to move now. He nods and Leon moves.

Drew watches confused as Leon grabs a chair and slides into the ring.

What the hell?

Both factions face the boy. "Leon?" Shawn asks. "You alright? You don't look too good" Scott tries. "Put the chair down." Hunter orders. "Alright" Leon mutters. He throws it at hulk and watches as he falls down. Kevin chuckles and moves forward, holding a hand out which causes both factions to stop. Shawns eyes widen in realisation. Scott stares at Kevin. If he's behind this, why didn't he tell him? "Show him power" Kevin tells Leon. Leon growls and kicks hogan as soon as he stands. Hogan falls to his knees. "So he told you?" Hogan growls. "Kev?" Shawn whispers grabbing kevins arm. "Whore" Hogan mutters. "Didnt know we were talking about you" Leon states, which gets him a punch to the nose. Leon tilts his head back and begins laughing.

Shawn stares in horror as the blood runs down his mouth. Its like looking at teenager Leon. Leon is quick to roundhouse kick hogan in the head. Hogan rolls out of the ring and Leon goes to follow but Kevin grabs his shoulders. "Calm..let the immortal hulk hogan get up" Kevin mutters to him. Leon just stares as the younger stars help him up. "Youve got all the power here" Kevin tells him. Leon nods. Kevin watches as Leon throws the chair. It lands on the ramp behind the young stars but just infront of Taker, who Kevin didn't even know was there.

Taker raises his gaze from the chair to his son. "Well, that's a thorn in our side.." Kevin chuckles. Leon smirks. "What is this!" Taker barks. "You go. I'll deal with this" Kevin mutters. Leon looks at him confused. "What?" Leon asks. "Dont worry about it. I told you, I'd let nothing bad happen to you. Go" Kevin orders. He smiles as the lights fade and he hears a small zap. The lights come back and Leon's gone.

-----

Leon never handled death right. He always found it unfair that he could come back and those he loved cannot. "Hey Lee.. " drew mutters. "Its not right" Leon growls. Drew frowns. "I know...but you need to allow yourself to grieve." Drew tells him. Leon never saw the point. He'd still see those who past. Leon watches his sister cry over the coffin and it only makes him angrier. "Why should people like me or my dad or even kane, be allowed to pass and come back whenever we like, but good people can't?!" Leon barks. "Because life ain't fair." Kevin grunts from behind him. Drew nods at the man before leaving to join rhea. Leon looks at him. "But we get on with it" Kevin tells him. Kevin looks as rough as shawn. Leon already knew those two would suffer the most. He got that after seeing their posts versus hunter and kids.

"Easy for you to say kev. I'll still be here when my grandchildren are passing on" Leon mutters. "You think about that a lot?" Kev asks. "Of course. Yeah I can keep you lot alive with memories and tales...but I'll never be with you guys ever again.." Leon whispers. He lowers his head. "Its not fair" his voice cracks. Kevin watches in surprise as tears roll down the boys face. "I can't even stay wrestling. People will get suspicious if I'm still fighting 100 years to come." Leon huffs. Kevin chuckles. "Steph might give you the company. Then you can be the mysterious boss. Change your name every few years. No one will suspect a thing" Kevin tells him. Leon chuckles slightly as he wipes his eyes.

"Your father-" "already has it planned. Him and kane. They want me to do it after their partners have passed." Leon mutters. "And it can only be done by a demon then. So you are stuck here" Kevin mutters. Leon just nods and watches his weird makeshift family. "You seen him?" Kevin asks. "Not yet. Can't bring myself to go over." Leon admits. "Not what I meant." Kevin states stepping forward. Leon looks at him. "Yeah. Bits a pieces. Saw him during my championship match." Leon admits. Kevin smiles. "Good. He was excited to watch you win that belt" Kevin states turning towards Leon.

Leon stares at the older man. "Your gonna do us all proud." Kevin states. Leon doesn't say anything. "But If you come to where ever we end up once we snuff it and don't tell me how the world ended I'll be pissed at you" Kevin warns. Leon can't help but crack a smile and laugh. Kevin smiles and pulls him into a hug.

"Anything for you, Kev"

#wwe #shawn michaels #the undertaker #wwf #leon michaels #drew mcintyre #kevin nash #the family of destruction #the family of destruction fics #cassidy michaels #scott hall #hulk hogan #hunter hearst helmsley #sean waltman

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leonidascinema · 1 year

Text

FILM ADAPTATION

Meet our film adaptation team!

Alex Lennen - director

India Marshall - Cinematographer

Fionntan McCaughey - Sound designer/recordist

Niamh McPherson - Scriptwriter

Nikola Jurcaga - Producer

Leonidas Ibarra (me) - Editor

PRE-PRODUCTION

We sat down before class to discuss what short story we wanted to adapt for our short film. After going through many ideas, we finally settled on the Cop and the Anthem.

Obviously this part of the production was primarily focused on Niamh getting the script done and Nikola preparing all the paperwork, schedule, and booking the necessary equipment. I tried my best to be as present in this process, sharing my input about what would/wouldn't be possible as editor. I also talked with Alex and India about the visual idea they had for the film as well as the pacing to get a rough idea and be prepared.

Once everything was ready, Nikola sent us all the information and schedule for us to prepare.

PRODUCTION

Production was shot over two days on the 17th and 18th of March. I was present as runner throughout the whole shoot. We faced a lot of obstacles, most of them being unwanted noises and people interrupting, which we could only do so much about. It also started raining at a point, which delayed the shoot quite a bit.

I had to look over the equipment most the time and got to meet a lovely man who told me a bit about Dean village and lived right next to where the equipment was kept.

When I wasn't looking after the equipment, I was helping Fionntan with sound, and we tried our best to get as much coverage in the time frame that we had.

I would have loved for us to get more time, because with the two days that we had there would be little coverage for me to play around with.

POST-PRODUCTION!!!!

Now that the shoot for film adaptation is finally over, it is my time to shine as editor.

Before starting anything, I had made sure I was comfortable enough in my editing skills by attending as many tutorials as I could (medical consultations and surgery over the months of March/April made attendance quite difficult). I also made use of the avid resources that were given to us in previous semesters and took notes.

Once all the files were sent to me, Alex set my deadline and I got to work. The toughest part of editing this film was definitely the sound, and trying to pick footage that wasn't going to be a nightmare to manage for the sound designer. I had little coverage and a lot of scenes did not have shots that linked together, so I resorted to whatever I had. For instance, I used B-roll footage of Soapy walking to link two scenes, and I reluctantly used a cut to black as a scene transition, but it worked alright as a whole. I had a lot of fun solving all these tiny details and was particularly happy with how the busker scene looked.

I also checked in with Alex with every scene I edited to make sure the film was still accurate to his vision. He was very responsive and gave me a lot of useful feedback that I applied to the best of my ability.

After the edit was done and the film was in picture lock, I was still asked to go back on it to make changes for the scene with the Lady. Alex was able to show it to different audiences and they mentioned the scene made little sense with the laughing stranger (Max Brodbeck) not there.

Then came the colour correcting. I had a lot of trouble trying to get the initial colours I was going for (blue to more yellowish tones starting at the busker scene) as I was ill prepared and did not do much research on the way colour correction worked. I will definitely delve further into it and find resources for the next project I work on as I think I was one of the biggest problems I faced in my work on this production.

With the film exported and colour corrected, my job as editor was over.

I was not very present for the sound design part of the post-production because of surgery and recovery, so there is not much I can say.

Overall, this was a really fun production to work on, it gave us a lot of perspective on film adaptations and their process. Though there are certainly things we could improve on, I am proud of everyone's dedication to the short.

Meet the team!

Alex Lennen - director

India Marshall - Cinematographer

Fionntan McCaughey - Sound designer/recordist

Niamh McPherson - Scriptwriter

Nikola Jurcaga - Producer

Leonidas Ibarra (me) - Editor

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duine-aiteach · 2 years

Text

Irish LGBT+ Content

These lists include LGBT pieces set in Ireland, LGBT pieces with Irish main characters, LGBT pieces as Gaeilge, and LGBT pieces created by Irish people, often they overlap but not always. Feel free to suggest things I ought to add or offer corrections for mistakes I've made.

Please note that the inclusion on this list does not mean I recommend the piece in question - I am familiar with only a few.

Where possible links lead to RTÉ player, TG4 player, YouTube or official sites. Not all links lead to pieces that are available to watch at the time of posting.

Television:

Eipic (2016) [gay, as G]

Derry Girls [lesbian]

Ros na Rún [soap, as G]

Fair City [soap, trans m briefly]

6Degrees [mlm, NI]

Film:

The Crying Game (1992)

Cowboys and Angels (2003)

The Blackwater Lightship (2004) [based off book below]

Breakfast on Pluto (2005) [trans f]

Viva (2015) [mlm, Irish writer/director only, in Spanish]

Handsome Devil (2017) [gay, mlm]

Papi Chulo (2019) [gay, Irish writer/director only]

Rialto (2019) [mlm]

Dating Amber (2020) [gay, lesbian]

Shorts:

Chicken (2002)

Lúbtha (2019) [mlm]

The First Saturday of May (2019) [trans]

Scene from the Men's Toilets at a Ceilidh (2019)

OUT (2020)

Candid (2020)

Punch Line (trans f)

Boxed In (trans m)

Cailín Álainn [trans f, as G]

Where Do All The Old Gays Go? [trans]

Homebird [trans]

Books:

Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu (1872) [wlw, Irish writer only]

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde (1890) [mlm, outside Ireland]

As Music and Splendour by Kate O'Brien (1958) [wlw, outside Ireland]

A Noise from the Woodshed by Mary Dorcey (1989) [lesbian, anthology]

The Kiss by Linda Cullen (1990)

When Love Comes to Town by Tom Lennon (1993) [gay]

Hood by Emma Donoghue (1995) [wlw]

Biography of Desire by Mary Dorcey (1997) [wlw]

Breakfast On Pluto by Patrick McCabe (1998) [trans f, bi]

Crazy Love by Tom Lennon (1999) [gay]

The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Tóibín (1999) [gay]

The International by Glenn Patterson (1999) [bi]

At Swim, Two Boys by Jamie O'Neill (2001) [mlm]

A Son Called Gabriel by Damian McNicholl (2004) [NI, gay]

The Master by Colm Tóibín (2004) [mlm, Irish writer only]

Stir-Fry by Emma Donoghue (2006) [wlw]

Landing by Emma Donoghue (2007) [wlw]

Map of Ireland by Stephanie Grant (2008) [wlw, Irish-American]

Falling Colours: The Misadventures of a Vision Painter by R.J. Samuel (2012) [wlw]

The Rarest Rose by I. Beacham (2013) [wlw, Irish character, non-Irish writer]

To Summon Nightmares by J.K. Pendragon (2014) [trans, mlm]

Carolyn for Christmas by Lucy Carey (2015) [lesbian]

The Accident Season by Moïra Fowley-Doyle (2015) [bi, lesbian]

The Green Road by Anne Enright (2015) [gay]

Wormwood Gate by Katherine Farmar (2015) [wlw]

A Good Hiding by Shirley-Anne McMillan (2016) [NI, gay]

Days Without End by Sebastian Barry (2016) [mlm, outside Ireland]

Eelgrass by Tori Curtis (2016) [wlw, Irish myth inspired only?, non-Irish writer]

All the Bad Apples by Moïra Fowley-Doyle (2017)

Forget Me Not by Kris Bryant (2017) [wlw]

The Art of Three by Erin McRae & Racheline Maltese (2017) [bi, polyam, Irish character, non-Irish writers]

The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne (2017) [gay]

The Spellbook of Lost and Found by Moïra Fowley-Doyle (2017) [wlw]

The Unknowns by Shirley-Anne McMillan (2017) [NI, bi m, bi f]

My Brother's Name Is Jessica by John Boyne (2019) [trans f]

Every Sparrow Falling by Shirley-Anne McMillan (2019) [NI, mlm]

Perfectly Preventable Deaths (2019) and Precious Catastrophe (2021) by Deirdre Sullivan [wlw]

The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth (2020) [wlw]

The Henna Wars by Adiba Jaigirdar (2020) [lesbian]

The Pull of the Stars by Emma Donoghue (2020) [wlw]

Exciting Times by Naoise Dolan (2021) [bi f, wlw]

Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar (2021) [bi f, wlw]

Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth (2021)

The Dos and Donuts of Love by Adiba Jaigirdar (2023) [wlw]

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman, as Gaeilge by @heartstopper-i-ngaeilge (2024)[mlm, wlw, as G only]

Nonfiction:

Please be aware especially for this section that the pieces listed may be upsetting or cover difficult topics.

Print:

The Strange Story of Dr James Barry by Isobel Rae (1958) [biography: Barry, trans m]

The Perfect Gentleman by June Rose (1977) [biography: Barry, trans m]

Love In a Dark Time: Gay Lives from Wilde to Almodóvar by Colm Tóibín (2002) [essay collection]

The Secret Life of Dr James Barry by Rachel Holmes (2002/2020) [biography: Barry, trans m]

Queer & Celtic edited by Wesley J Koster (2013) [anthology]

Running Amach in Ireland: True Stories by LGBTQ Women edited by Maureen Looney (2016) [essay anthology]

Dr James Barry: A Woman Ahead of Her Time by Michael du Preez and Jeremy Dronfield (2016) [biography: Barry, trans m]

Green Carnations/Glas na Gile edited by John Ennis & Moxie Lofton (2021) [poetry anthology]

Screen:

A Different Country (2017) [pre-1993 documentary]

Outitude (2018) [lesbian documentary]

Tabú: Tras (2020) [trans m, trans f, as G]

Seal le Dáithí - Niamh Ní Féineadh (2023) [as G, trans f]

Scéalta Grá na hÉireann: Eleanor Butler & Sarah Ponsonby (2023) [as G, wlw]

Misneach: Ceist Bhróid (2023) [as G, gay]

Croíthe Radacacha (2023) [as G, wlw]

Aiteach Ní Aisteach [as G, queer]

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cacoetheswriting · 2 years

Note

bucky and his neighbour reader watch movies together? just all the fluff in the world

i honestly had so much writing this 🥺🥺🥺

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 2.3k warnings: set post endgame and pre-tfatws, mainly a big ball of fluff, mutual pining, mild swearing, emotional hurt / comfort, tiny bit of angst, a little jealousy, use of pet names (darlin', sweets), mentions of alcohol and food consumption, mentions of guns / violence (in the movies they watch), slow burn summary: a few months in the life of bucky and his lovely neighbour, as they watch various movies together.

a/n: although it's a perfect stand-alone, this blurb is par of the 'a mutually assured attachment' universe 😌 (and it sat in my drafts unfinished for wayy too long so i hope you enjoy!!)

The music echoing through the shared corridor eventually died down. The loud chatter mixed with the obnoxious drunk snickers ceased and the usual party noises were quickly replaced by a rather deafening silence.

Bucky heard you say the last goodbyes to your overly excited friends before disappearing back into your apartment. Considering it was approaching 6 o’clock in the morning, he figured you’d be heading straight to bed, to sleep off whatever amount of alcohol you consumed during the night.

And honestly he should be sleeping too, (but the persistent nightmares made that task rather impossible). Listening out instead for the sound of honey-like laughter was a heartwarming distraction.

Seconds later, his phone chimed.

‘party’s over so you can come out of hiding, old man ;)’

‘Not hiding.’

‘sureee you’re not …’

The three dots appear again momentarily.

‘anyways, i’m gonna try and get some sleep but knock on my door before 10, okay ?? those fresh bagels we got the other day are seriously calling my name !!!’

Anything for you, Bucky wanted to say.

‘You got it.’

‘can always count on you, neighbour <333’

Bucky smiled to himself while making a mental note to ask you later what the hell those three’s at the end of your text message meant.

Shortly after 10 o’clock, he knocked on your door and several moments later, you answered.

“Morning, neighbour.” you mumbled with a yawn.

Bucky chewed on the inside of his cheek, fighting back an amused smirk at the sight of you — smudged makeup, ripped tights and a black t-shirt with Steve’s face on it.

“Good morning, sweets.” Bucky greeted you, “You’re looking swell as always. I especially like your top.”

Rolling your eyes, you retreated back into your living room and slouched down on the couch with an exaggerated groan. He followed you inside, closing the door behind him.

“It was a gift.”

“Looks good on you.”

“You know, it’s not nice to poke fun at people. Especially if those people invite you into their homes.”

“I ain’t teasin’, sweets.” he protested with a chuckle. You narrowed your eyes and were about to counter when, with a smile on his face, Bucky lifted his arm to reveal the white paper bag from the bakery you mentioned earlier.

“Mhmm… My hero,” you exclaimed softly and grabbed the bag from his grasp, previous conversation immediately forgotten, “Although, I would have been perfectly fine to walk over with you in like— four hours.”

He chuckled and made himself comfortable next to you, watching you excitedly fumble to open the bag and retrieve its contents.

“Well, now we don’t gotta go anywhere.”

“That’s probably for the best,” you replied while stuffing the fresh bagel into your mouth and reaching for the tv remote.

“So what’s next on our list, neighbour?”

From one of the pockets of his leather jacket, Bucky pulled out a small notebook in your favourite colour. He shuffled through the pages until he located the correct one (scribbled in your rather messy handwriting):

FILMS TO WATCH WITH YOUR SUPER COOL NEIGHBOUR - Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me - Corpse Bride - Valerie and Her Week of Wonders - Chef - Back to the Future (ALL OF THEM) - Anastasia - 10 Things I Hate About You - Barbarella - The Addams Family (preferably the 1991 version) - Bridesmaids - My Best Friend’s Wedding - Coco - A Series of Unfortunate Events

“Scream. And next to it — in all capitals I might add — ALL OF THEM.”

Bopping your head, you took another bite of your bagel.

“The first one’s my favourite,” you noted nonchalantly.

Bucky pinched your arm in response, hard enough to make you squeal but light enough so it didn’t actually hurt.

“Hey!?”

“No spoilers.”

“That wasn’t a spoiler! Just an opinion.”

“An opinion that will now affect how I view these films.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Did anyone ever tell you how overly dramatic you can be?”

Bucky laughed, “Just start the damn movie, darlin’.”

MAMMA MIA

Dancing Queen blared through the speakers of your laptop which was placed on your bed — held up by a cheap IKEA stand — between you and your brunette neighbour.

Not the most ideal way to watch the musical, but your tv was broken and with no money until the end of the month to get it fixed (plus being too stubborn to let Bucky look at it for free), the shitty device had to suffice.

Although, it didn’t matter to Bucky.

He was having a hard time focusing on the movie anyway, since (a) your bed was just about the most comfortable thing he ever lay on and he was seriously fighting with himself to stay awake, (b) well, he was alone with you, in your bedroom, on your bed, in the utter dark where the only light coming from the laptop only defined your divine features further.

And Bucky tried concentrating on the movie. He really really did. But then you would break out in song along with the characters and he couldn’t take his gaze off you, swearing he’ll never experience this much bliss with anyone ever again.

“Sweets, I gotta ask, when will we watch one of my favourite films?” Bucky questioned with a raised brow once the movie concluded.

“What? You didn’t like Mamma Mia?” you giggled, angling your head towards him.

“Not that I’m not a fan of singing and prancing around a beautiful island,” his tone clearly sarcastic, “But I got a whole arsenal of films I can guarantee you’ve never seen.”

You raised a brow and teased, “I bet half of them are westerns, cowboy.”

Bucky gently flicked your nose, earning himself another giggle.

“Hey! I told you that in confidence.”

“You said I couldn’t tell another living soul about your childhood dreams of becoming a cowboy and I swear I didn’t,” you explained, raising your hands in defence, “But you never said anything about not being able to tease you.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Well, now I’m saying it.”

"Alright, cowboy."

BRINGING UP BABY

“I can’t believe one of your favourite movies is a rom-com,” you exclaimed as the credits rolled.

“What?! ‘Bringing Up Baby’ is not a romantic comedy,” Bucky defended and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Sorry to burst your bubble Buck, but yes it is,” you stated.

“Classic boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love under unconventional circumstances, boy and girl profess their feelings for one another with a spectacular monologue...” you explained and observed as the brunette furrowed his brows, pondering your words.

“Well, I’ll be damned.” he muttered.

Chewing down on your bottom lip to conceal a smirk, you inclined towards him and whispered, “Don’t worry, neighbour. I’ll add this to things I know about you that I can’t share with another living soul.”

Without looking at you, mainly out of fear of what he might do — (something along the lines of unable to contain himself any longer and kissing you) — the blue-eyed sergeant gently nudged you in the ribcage.

You fell backwards giggling. Although it didn’t stop you from poking fun at him further.

“Next you’re gonna tell me your second favourite movie is ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’.”

“You're insufferable," Bucky commented while standing up and heading to the kitchen for more beer.

"But you can't deny I make your life so much more fun!" you called out after him.

And that you did. More than just fun. But he wasn't ready to admit that out loud just yet.

HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS

‘hey, are you home ?’

That’s all it took for Bucky to wind up at your door at 2 o’clock in the morning. He knocked and you called from inside, letting him know it was open.

“Hey, neighbour.” you murmured when his eyes landed on your frame. Surrounded by used tissues, an empty bottle of wine and a half-eaten box of chocolates, you were sulking on the armchair he usually occupied.

He was by your side in a flash. Crouching down next to you. His eyes searching yours for answers.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

You shrugged lightly, “Think the right question would be what didn’t happen…”

Following your answer, it didn’t take long for Bucky to put two and two together. Your date. The evening — and guy — you’ve been talking about for over a week now (unknowingly making him jealous).

“He didn’t show,” you admitted, burying your face in your hands.

Bucky’s jaw clenched momentarily. Anger boiling inside of him because how dare someone hurt you this way? God, if he only got his hands on that lousy weasel—

“Why does this always happen to me, Buck?” you queried, not really expecting an answer. The doubt and sorrow clearly detectable in the sound of your voice brought Bucky back to reality. It clenched his heart, tearing at it. He wanted nothing but to bring you solace.

“C’mere you,” he helped you up on your feet and carefully wrapped his strong arms around you, pulling you in close (closer than the two of you ever stood together). You instantly melted into his comforting embrace, taking in his musky scent, while the palm of his vibranium hand made home in the small of your back.

“Definitely not worthy of your time, sweets.”

You sniffled into his grey t-shirt, “You have to say that. You’re my friend.”

“No,” he responded quite sternly, lifting your chin with his index finger so that your eyes locked, “Am sayin’ it cause it’s true. y/n, you deserve someone a thousand times better than a douchebag that stands you up for whatever stupid reason.”

There was a brief moment of silence. You swore the world stopped spinning.

Now, this wasn’t the first time Bucky looked at you with such amity and care. In fact — thinking about it now — it happens more often than either of you care to admit. Each time you take note of how his piercing blue eyes seem different in times like these. Softer. Honestly, softer than any eyes that ever focused on you.

The usually closed-off soul from across the hall so deeply hurt and troubled by his past was gone and instead stood in front of you a man who clearly loved deeply.

And it only drew you in closer.

“I didn’t know douchebag was in your vocabulary,” you teased under your breath, breaking the spell you both found yourself under.

Letting his arms fall, Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and smirked. “The words’ been around for pretty much as long as I have.”

You giggled at his response and were about to make a cheeky comment when a yawn escaped your lips.

“You should get some sleep, darlin’.”

“Nah. I was gonna turn on a rom-com before I texted you, a lousy effort to cheer myself up,” you said and plopped down on the couch before patting the spot beside you.

“But since you came running like my knight in shining armor, we can watch the next movie from our list.”

“Whatever you want, darlin’.”

“Good cause I think you’ll enjoy this one.”

Bucky made himself comfortable against the pillows, his arm around you, “You said that about the last romantic comedy we saw.”

You leaned into his chest, your head landing on his shoulder, “If I remember correctly, you shed a tear or two during during Julianne’s wedding toast so don’t act all tough now.”

He licked his lips, containing a smirk, while you started a movie.

KINGSMAN MARATHON

“He stole your moves, Buck.” you teased, referring to Charlie swinging out of a moving car as his metal arm scrapes against the road.

The man sitting next to you huffed, passing you the blow of popcorn, and rolled his eyes, “How very funny.”

“Not trying to be, just stating the obvious really, cause you tend to hang out of cars like that —” you tossed a popped kernel into your mouth, “— I seen you on the news.”

Bucky couldn't dispute that. After all there’s been many occasions for many different reasons where his metal (now vibranium) arm came in contact with the pavement, so in lieu he shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, it is a very efficient way of trying your best not to die,” he commented, causing you to let out a lighthearted chuckle, before continuing, “But my arm is a lot - what’s the word you would use? - cooler.”

Bucky reached for a handful of popcorn and the two of you locked eyes for a split-second, goofy expressions plastered across both your faces.

A bang coming from the tv caused you to focus your attention back on the movie, in time to watch Eggsy grab a gun out of a hidden compartment and try shooting Charlie who he deflects bullets with his metal hand.

“I can do that too,” Bucky noted casually and it was your turn to roll your eyes.

“Alright, Mr Tough Guy.”

“I thought you said this was your favourite happy film.” Bucky murmured.

“It is,” you sniffled quietly in response and the sound of your soft tears caused the brunette to immediately focus his attention on you.

“How can that be if you’re crying, sweets?”

“I’m not crying,” you protested, eyes glued to the opening montage unfolding on the tv screen.

Bucky did his best to fight back a timid smile. Lifting his vibranium hand, he reached out and gently wiped the wet droplets slowly trailing down your cheeks: “Then what’s this, darlin’?”

“Sweat,” without turning to look at him, you responded as seriously as ever. Bucky chuckled but didn’t say anything else. He let his arm fall back behind your shoulders however instead of focusing again on the animated feature, he chose to observe you.

A certain warmth settled in the pit of his stomach as he watched you watch the film. Blanket pulled to your chin, tears silently escaping the corners of your eyes, a wavering smile circling your lips.

You looked beautiful (not that you’d ever agree if he told you), but you did.

“If I ever get married, that’s the melody I want to walk down the aisle to,” you confessed in a mere whisper.

“It certainly is beautiful,” Bucky responded, his gaze still locked on you.

So fucking beautiful.

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#a mutually assured attachment #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #neighbour!bucky x reader #neighbour!bucky #marvel fanfiction #tfatws fanfiction #tfatws fanfic #tfatws fic #bucky barnes drabble

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isaacthedruid · 3 years

Text

Please allow me to tell you about one of my favourite cartoons through this informal essay I did for school a couple of months back.

Gravity Falls and How it Did The Unimaginable

**SPOILERS... KINDA**

The 2010s saw the creation of some of the most iconic animated tv shows ever made, the likes of Adventure Time (2010), Steven Universe (2013), Over the Garden Wall (2014) and The Legend of Korra (2012). To explain why this era’s shows are so admirable is honestly rather difficult. Yet, there are many factors that can be taken into consideration when looking for an answer.

The past decade was very successful in perfecting their craft and utilizing the animated format to their favour, creating some of the wackiest and fascinating cartoons ever made. With the advancements made in both 2D and 3D animation for film, this bled into the world of TV as well.

To mention that 2010s cartoons have stunning visuals would be an understatement. Everything about the animation was beautiful; the strong colour palettes, the clean and imaginative character designs, the colourful and immersive backgrounds and especially the mesmerizing worlds that can be found within episodes that are half an hour.

This era’s cartoons also led to a massive shift in storytelling, writing longer-running stories that spread out across seasons while also swapping out episodic adventures for serialization. This heavily aided in the popularization of these shows, due to the rise of internet fandoms and dropping the taboo that cartoons were only for kids. Many shows acknowledged their older viewers by leaving clues and even puzzles to be solved by the theorists who have a large appearance on social media platforms like Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr. As the shows progressed, their fandoms created many theories for what they believed might happen within their favourite series. The top three shows from this era all utilized these changes, being at the forefront of the shift and helping guide the creative vision of 2010s cartoons.

Often regarded as many people’s favourite cartoon, Gravity Falls presented one of the best mysteries of the decade with two seasons and only 40 episodes. Inspired by Twin Peaks and The X-Files, it’s considered as the kids’ version of these two iconic shows as this cartoon acts as many people’s first introduction to horror through bright colours and fun characters.

This series follows the adventures of Dipper and Mabel Pines, twins, who are sent to spend their summer with their great-uncle or Grunkle Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon. This town is full of oddities like supernatural creatures, insane and eccentric inhabitants, and many puzzles. The Pines twins must adjust to the weirdness while uncovering the mysteries and protecting their new town.

While living in Gravity Falls, the twins are forced to work in the Mystery Shack, a tourist trap created by their Grunkle Stan that overcharges unlucky tourists, teaching about fake monsters despite there being real creatures all over town. On his first day in Oregon, Dipper accidentally came across a mysterious journal written by an unknown author that explains all the oddities to be found in this strange town. This book acts like an encyclopedic of the Weird for Dipper, an inquisitive 12-year-old kid who seeks answers.

Dipper is an extremely intelligent kid, his brain being far more developed than his body. He’s rather awkward and self-conscious as he often stumbles over his words or gets embarrassed trying to talk to girls. Despite this, the boy is an adventurer at heart who just wants to grow up and skip his upcoming teenage years.

While Mabel is quite the opposite in many ways, she is loud and has an in-your-face personality. Mabel is bouncy and fun, she is so excited to start high school. She is easily excitable and for the larger part of the series, she is in her boy-crazy phase. Mabel is a girly-girl as she likes all things; glitter, unicorns, rainbows, partying and crafting. Yet, she doesn’t often compare well with many of the other girls in town, they see her as weird and “too much”.

(In all fairness through, it is not too kind to either of the characters as their personalities are more complex than just awkward nerd and artsy girl-girly.)

Dipper and Mabel’s personalities are very different but somehow, they—along with their Gravity Falls family—manage to solve mysteries and save the town, multiple times.

Gravity Falls is an honestly genius series that completely changed the way cartoons were made. Originally when writing a series, you’d create a base of your story; characters, the universe and a basic plot. Yet, when creator, Alex Hirsch (who was in his early/mid-20)s and his small team first began constructing their show, they planned out everything they could possibly think of for the first season. Additionally, outlining some answers for their biggest mysteries that would be answered at the end of the series.

Despite being rated TV-Y7, this series really pushed the boundaries of kids’ television. From the teeth being ripped out of a deer’s mouth by a demon, rearranging the functions of every hole on a man’s face to an aggressive pop-rock sock puppet show that ended in a dramatic slow-motion scene of the puppets burning. Gravity Falls wasn’t afraid to get a little weird or creepy. Or create some genuine nightmare fuel.

From the beginning, Gravity Falls had built a mystery into its series, hiding secrets and clues all throughout the show. Most notably were the backwards-recorded message and cryptograms, using roughly nine different kinds, even creating two of their own.

The inclusion of cyphers and mysteries for fans to solve is possibly the reason why this series was so successful. As one of the first shows to do something like this, Gravity Falls used social media and internet fandoms to its advantage.

As mentioned earlier, cartoon fans have quite a presence on social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr. They create theories and share fun ideas about their favourite shows. Viewers of Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe were all included in their share of theory fun.

Sometimes, fan theories end up being correct but when you’re Gravity Falls creator, Alex Hirsch, you don’t just watch from the sidelines as your viewers figure out the biggest mystery of your show. No, you create a hoax to get your viewers off your trail and that is what he did. Around 2013, only halfway through the first season of the show, viewers had started to follow the clues, theorizing who was the author is Dipper’s mysterious journal.

Unfortunately for the Gravity Falls production crew, the viewers were right— for the sake of readers who have never seen the show, I will not mention who the author was as it would be the biggest spoiler.

In 2013, a supposed leaked image of a tv showing a younger version of the show’s crazy old man character, Old Man McGucket, writing in the infamous journal was uploaded anonymously (by Alex Hirsch) to 4Chan.

Despite the image only being on up for a few hours, it spread like wildfire. Much to the team’s success, theorists stopped searching for the answer to “who is the author” and just accepted the image of McGucket as the truth.

To further push the fake-out, three words were posted to Alex’s Twitter, “fuming right now.”

The tweet was deleted a few minutes later and fans genuinely believed that someone from the Gravity Falls team had leaked the most important part of the story.

While doing research, I came across a Reddit post from April 10th, 2013, the day after ‘leak,’ Alex’s tweet was uploaded. In this post, user, TheoDW uploaded an image of Alex’s tweet with the caption, “It seems that Hirsch got mad at last night’s leak. He already deleted this tweet.”

Seeing the reactions of these Redditors in 2013 is kind of weird and crazy to look at. “He has every right to be upset. Someone internally released a plot revealing screen shot of series breaking spoiler information,” a deleted Reddit account commented.

“This is Alex Hirsch’s biggest success by far, he spent a huge amount of time carefully planning out the series, and then in a moment someone releases a major spoiler. It would make anyone upset,” the user, Time_Loop commented.

“Seriously, this is a nightmare for a storyteller, and shows a breach of trust. I feel so bad for him–honestly, I hope whoever did the leak gets caught and appropriate action is taken. You don’t f–k with someone’s story like this. It’s unprofessional.” the user, lonelybeloved angrily commented.

In 2014, this ‘leak’ was finally disproven when viewers were given an episode on McGucket’s backstory and an amazing tweet from Alex Hirsch.

Alex had post an image of himself playfully pointing at a monitor with the supposed leaked picture with the caption, “1) Make hoax 2) Upload to 4Chan 3) Post angry tweet about "leak" 4) Delete tweet 5) Let internet do rest”

It is so interesting to look at these comments know that all of this was orchestrated by Alex.

I wish I had been old enough at the time to follow theories and fandom stuff like I do now with current cartoons but really looking at this from an outside perspective, this was insane!

The real author wasn’t revealed until 2015 and when viewers first got the answer to this biggest show on their screens, they must have freaked out!

Following the finale in 2016, a single frame of a stone version of Bill Cipher, the show’s villain, flashed in after the credits had finished.

Alex Hirsch and his team actually created a real-life statue of their villain for their viewers to find and on July 20th, 2016, the Cipher Hunt began.

By following clues, the Hunters found themselves all over the world; Russia, Japan and then travelling throughout the United States for the final 12 clues. When the hunt took them to Los Angeles, actor, Jason Ritter (voice of Dipper Pines, also a massive fan of the series) and Alex Hirsch’s twin sister, Ariel Hirsch (the inspiration for Mabel) joined in the fun helping the search.

Finally, the hunt ended on August 2nd when someone tweeted out an image of the found statue in Oregon, the same state in which the fictional town of Gravity Falls exists. The Cipher Hunt had ended but finding the statue wasn’t Alex’s goal for the scavenger hunt, it was about the journey and bringing together the viewers, more than having them actually find the statue.

Creating its own hoax, an international scavenger hunt and quite a bit of nightmare fuel, Gravity Falls was a show truly unlike any other.

The 2010s saw some of the strongest cartoons ever made, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe acting as the leaders for multiple different changes in the medium; storytelling, worldbuilding, interaction with viewers, utilizing social media, representation and further pushing music into the cartoon world. From what was created this past decade and what has already been released in 2020, I’m so excited to see what comes next.

I have another one of these which is on Steven Universe’s representation and music if you would like to see that too!!

#isaac rambles #long post #gravity falls #cartoons #cartoon review #dipper pines #alex hirsch #OH MY GOD I LOVE ALEX HIRSCH'S BRAIN!!!#disney #disney channel #disney cartoons

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

Text

Ulterior Motive

Pairing: Ji Changmin (Q) x reader

Genre: friends to lovers au / fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 1609

A/N: Happy birthday Em @soybeantree!! I hope you’ve had a fantastic day! I hope this story makes your birthday just that little bit more special! It’s my first time writing Changmin, and I had so much fun doing so!

“No way.”

“Just one!” Changmin begged, holding up his index finger near his face as he smiled encouragingly.

You laughed, shaking your head in response. “Oh, it is so not happening, Min.”

“Why not?! I have watched every movie you’ve wanted to even if its-” Changmin cut short with the stern look you gave him and laughed breathily. “And it’s been fun. Can’t you just give me one movie that I want to watch in return?”

“Me and a horror movie is not happening. We’ve been friends forever so I shouldn’t have to tell you why.”

“Your cousin was an asshole for locking you in that room and taking the remote away so you couldn’t turn it off. I beat him up royally, remember? But we’re adults now and it’s just one movie. Besides, I’ll be there the entire time,” Changmin replied and you sighed heavily, giving him a curious once over.

Normally Changmin would never be this persistent over you and horror movies. He had learned a long time ago that you didn’t watch them. You weren’t interested in the new paranormal movies or the gory kind of pastimes. You didn’t care for zombies either. Whatever the frightful content, you were fine with him watching them alone or going with a friend to see it. You didn’t knock Changmin for liking them, much like he never complained that you were a rom-com or periodic drama kind of person.

Well, usually.

Huffing a little, you squinted at the man. Changmin seemed agitated which concerned you. Why was today the day you had to watch a horror movie with him? Was there something he was planning? It didn’t bode well with you, given the context, and you folded your arms over your chest. “I can’t.”

“You can,” he corrected, reaching out to rub your shoulders. “I picked a tame one.”

“Tame? You mean, nightmare-inducing. I will have to hide behind a cushion and sleep with the lights on afterwards. Is that what you want?!”

His grin seemed to support this and you reached out to slap his arm and hiss at him. Changmin shook his head. “Y/N, I would never let you suffer.”

“So let me off the hook.”

“Just half a movie!” he offered and you groaned.

“Fine! Fine! What will you do if I have nightmares?!”

“You won’t,” he assured with a satisfied grin, directing you over to the couch in your apartment and setting up the movie. You looked at all your favourite snack foods on the table and then back at Changmin, smirking at him lightly.

He sure was going the extra mile with this.

Still, you weren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of watching a horror movie and it wasn’t even twenty minutes into it that you dove into Changmin’s side, burying into his chest as you flinched with fear.

Your friend’s arms were around you immediately and it felt entirely protective and warm. Although Changmin was always the type to loosely maintain some sort of skin contact with you, it wasn’t very often that you found yourself this pressed into him. You blinked slowly, focusing on the changes to his body. He was definitely working out at the gym more than you realised and you chewed on your lip as your hand relaxed against his abdomen. You remained hidden even after the scene was over, hoping the flare of colour to your cheeks would ease off and you could sit back up. The last thing on your mind now was the movie.

Jarringly, you managed to pull yourself away from Changmin’s safety a few minutes later, picking up a cushion from beside you instead. You used that to hide behind with a couple more of the jump scare moments, trying not to throw yourself back into his arms.

However, Changmin scooted closer, slinging his arm over the back of the couch to draw you into his side. “Use me.”

“Why?”

“Huh?” he breathed distractedly, blinking a few times before sheepishly grinning. “I’m able to comfort you more than a cushion. Besides, I promised you no nightmares.”

It dawned on you then that when watching a horror Changmin would be vocal about some scenes. He would laugh at most of the scarier parts as it was basically like a comedy for him, so all your mutual friends had expressed whenever they watched one with him. However, he had remained silent this whole time and at first, you thought it was for your sake.

Slowly, you added things up and smiled behind the cushion. Deciding to put your assumption into practice at the next scary moment, you threw the pillow dramatically and dove into his arms, feeling his heart thudding in his chest against your ear at how close you were now. There was no reason for him to be this reactive to the scene, and so you let out a triumphant laugh and snapped up to look at him.

“You sneak!”

“What?”

“Where is it?” you wondered, looking around the dimly lit room for evidence.

Changmin cleared his throat. “Where is what? Y/N, you’re acting strange.”

“I could say the same to you, Changmin! You didn’t want me to watch a movie just for the sake of it. I’m sure you’re trying to film my reactions!”

“What?” he asked, shaking his head. “No.”

“Then why-”

“I wanted this,” he blurted out, gesturing with his head to your close proximity. He grew hesitant, shy even and your eyes widened, watching him with high interest.

It wasn’t every day Changmin would show his vulnerable side so openly like this.

“T-this?” you stammered, looking at the way you were in his arms. More of your body was pressed against him than before and you blinked with confusion. “You mean, you wanted me in your arms like this?”

Changmin nodded, biting his lip adorably in the process.

“Why?”

“Because you’re so dense towards my affection! You friend-zoned me years ago and I’ve had a really bad week so I wanted you to need me like this just once in my life.”

“You made me watch a horror movie with you just because you wanted to cuddle?!”

“You make it sound so ridiculous,” he objected and you cocked your head to the side. “Which it is but humour me this once, Y/N.”

“And then what happens?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you said I friend-zoned you,” you explained, giving him a hard look. “Do I snuggle with you now and then put you back there?”

Changmin’s head dropped and he sighed. “I guess.”

“That sounds miserable.”

“Well, I’m not miserable right now,” he announced, holding you more closely.

You allowed him to do so, nestling your head against his chest comfortably. His hand mindlessly ran up and down your back and you shivered against it, enjoying the moment almost as much as he evidently was. You could tell the protagonist in the movie was having a hard time behind you and you didn’t even care, relaxing into Changmin’s embrace further. You were now all but within his lap, curled up completely against your friend.

And when you felt his embrace around you start to ease off after an immeasurable moment, you gripped onto Changmin tightly. “I never friend-zoned you.”

He laughed. “Oh yes you did.”

“I really didn’t,” you chimed back and Changmin pulled away to gauge your expression. Your cheeks were flushed from enjoying the comfort he was giving you but you were genuinely staring at him with adoration. And then you groaned and rolled your eyes. “You’re so silly.”

“Me?!”

“If you wanted my comfort, you should have just asked. We could have saved the horror movie being put on!”

“Hardly, you’d be suspicious of why.”

“I was suspicious of you earlier. Did you think that me leaping in your arms would satisfy you?” His immediate reaction confirmed your question and you laughed, nudging him playfully with your nose. “So silly.”

“Then tell me straight. Am I friend-zoned?”

“You’re my friend,” you started and his face fell. Cupping his cheeks within your hands, you grinned. “But I’ve always wished you were more than that.”

“You… but… really?”

You nodded. “Really.”

“So I can hold you whenever?”

“So long as you don’t go holding Kevin or Sunwoo like this too,” you agreed with a giggle and Changmin joined you.

The laughter soon eased off and you stared at each other intently. Changmin smiled slowly. “I’ve liked you for too long, Y/N.”

“Probably not as long as me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Let me have my moment.”

“Why, does it feel like a dream?” Changmin nodded and you grinned. “Well in my dreams, I’m always bold, so…” You pressed your lips to his then, kissing him slowly. He met your approach with added hunger, hands reaching for your waist and pulling you into his lap. Your kiss deepened as you reached to sling your arms over his shoulders, smiling against his lips before you pulled back.

“I don’t want to wake up,” he breathed and you nuzzled his nose with your own again.

“Then don’t.”

A second kiss happened and then a third and by the time you were both more than addicted to the taste of each other, the movie had finished, the credits now rolling on the screen.

You laughed and pointed at it. “Hey look! I lasted through an entire horror movie!”

“We didn’t really watch it, so it doesn’t count.”

“So? Technically I watched a horror movie with you tonight. And you were right about something.”

“What?”

Smiling giddily at Changmin, you lowered your mouth to just above his. “I won’t be having any nightmares tonight.”

_________________

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princess-rosie · 3 years

Text

Underneath The Spotlight- A Sanders Sides Fic

Taglist: @sophiexteresa (ask to be added!)

Chapter 13: Memory

Read chapter 1 here! / Read here on ao3!

Warnings for this chapter: none I think, just one extremely mushy moment!

Logan adjusted his sparkling navy blue bowtie as he drew one last firm tick on his spreadsheet. The musical theatre number was over, as had been signalled by Patton and Roman skipping back into the dressing room arm in arm, still joyfully singing ‘You Can’t Stop the Beat’, which had been the concluding song of the Hairspray medley they had just performed. This was it. For all of them, just one dance remained. They were dressed in their ballroom suits once again, as the teachers loved the bright colours and felt these dazzling outfits were perfect for the six dancers to take their final bow.

“How did the dance go?” Logan asked.

“Brilliant!” Roman beamed.

“Yeah it was amazing!” Patton piped up. “I love Hairspray so much, and Roman was amazing as the lead!”

“You were incredible too, Patton!”

The shortest giggled. “Let’s just agree that we’ve all been great!”

“I can drink to that!” Remus said from the corner, cracking open his 3rd can of Coca Cola, bought on his second very-not-allowed trip to the foyer a few minutes prior. Patton and Roman were soon out of their Hairspray outfits and back into their ballroom suits. Patton’s bright blue outfit shone like a summer’s sky, while Roman’s royal red looked sophisticated and charming, truly able to highlight the elegance of his dancing. The final dance would begin soon and the younger children were already beginning to queue backstage, so before it got too crowded the boys decided to make their way to the front wing where they would enter from, however on their way they were stopped by none other than Mr Thomas Sanders, the Principal and main teacher of the dance school, a camera around his neck.

“Boys, hi! I feel like I’ve barely gotten to speak to you during all this. I’ve been so busy trying to organise these damn kids...” he looked around at the chaos that was ensuing as about fifty small children tried to line up in the right order. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Anyways, I watched what I could from in the wings and you were all fantastic. I mean it. You’re all so unique and perform in you’re own ways but... you always look like you’re in it together. You six make the perfect team.”

The boys were practically glowing with pride at such high praise from the man who’d started all of this, the man who’d taught them all, given them the very foundations of their dance ability.

“And you all look so amazing in these outfits, I’m so glad we chose these... could I take a quick picture of you all? I’ve tried to get photos of everyone in their costumes but you six have all been so busy, I guess we just couldn’t find the time! Better now than never!” he chuckled.

Virgil groaned as Thomas held up the camera, hiding his face in Remus’ shoulder.

“Virgil,” Janus sighed. “You do realise all the dances you just did were filmed, right?”

Virgil’s response was muffled, his face still buried in his boyfriend’s jacket.

Janus fondly rolled his eyes. “Come on, you emo nightmare. Show the camera that award-winning smile of yours.”

Virgil finally showed his face again and looked reluctantly at the camera as all six of them beamed. Patton rose up onto his tiptoes in order to put his arms around Logan and Roman, who were next to him. Roman gladly reciprocated, putting his arm around Janus, who put his arm around Virgil, who put his arm around Remus. They heard the click of the camera, and the memory was captured. A tiny snapshot of this massive experience, but despite that, it was a good summary. All six of them together, supporting each other, like they always had, and always would.

The six of them made it through the chaos backstage with relative ease, Patton dealing with the kids, politely asking them to move out of the way and congratulating them on how well they had danced. It was what he would’ve wanted when he was just a toddler, the littlest of the group by far, doing his first shows. They made it into the downstage left wing as Logan took the lead, being the only one who was sure of their cue.

“So...” he whispered, looking at the faces of his friends, only slightly illuminated by the stage lights. “We did it.”

“Do not say that yet,” Virgil warned. “This is still a dance, stuff could still go wrong, you know?”

“While that is... not impossible, statistically it is very unlikely, as the routine has been made extremely easy so the youngest dancers can keep up. I think... you all may as well accept my congratulations now. It has truly been an honour to dance alongside all of you.”

Roman smiled at him. “Right back at ya, teach. You are all incredible people who all dance in your own ways... that show the audience a piece of who you are. Perhaps Patton’s energy and beaming smile, or Janus’ dramatic finesse, or Logan’s technical and rhythmical precision, or Remus’ boldness and confidence and his own spin on the routines, inspired someone in that audience tonight. And even if not... you all inspire me, every day. Never stop being yourselves, and leaving your hearts and souls on that stage. Because without all of you, I don’t know what I’d be.”

He wrapped his arm around Logan who, in a rare show of affection, nuzzled his side. Roman swore he melted on the spot there and then.

As everyone nodded in agreement of Roman’s statement, Janus looked at Patton, who he swore was tearing up. The shortest ran up to Roman and buried his face in his other side, wrapping his arms around the boys in red and navy, two of his oldest friends.

“I love you all so much, thank you for getting me through this because I swear I couldn’t have done it without you. You all make me stronger, so I’m able to do things I never thought I could do. You all make the impossible possible. I’ll never, ever forget tonight, because I feel like I’ve found myself. I’ve been able to do what I love, surrounded by the people I love... is there really any greater gift than that?”

Roman gently patted his hair as he nodded in agreement. “I love you too, Patton,” he said, beaming as he looked down at his friend. The one in light blue extended an arm out to Janus, who came and placed his hands gently on his friends’ shoulders.

“You’ve all made me so proud,” he said. “I really never thought I’d say this, but... Remus is right. On the surface, technique seems to matter, but in the end, you won’t remember if you did every heel lead, or if your posture was perfect, or if your leg was fully stretched on a high kick. You’ll take away from this experience the skills and traits you picked up, the things you accomplished, the bonds you made. This is something to look back upon and be monumentally proud of, whether you’re an extremely talented dancer who could maybe even become professional...” he glanced at Roman, who smiled and blushed a little. “Or whether you’re just trying your best, giving it your all, doing what you love...” he looked down at Patton, who was now beaming wider than Janus thought was humanly possible.

“Hey, let me get in here!” Remus said, wrapping his arms around Janus and Patton.

“Well what can I say to add to that? You four aren’t just dancers, apparently you’re poets as well! But... for real... I wanna thank you all for believing in me. I may not do all the fancy technique, but I do love coming here and dancing and just... being myself. I love being a part of this truly incredible thing, no one ever judges you here. And I will absolutely remind you of what you just said next time you try and correct my technique in rehearsals, Jan Jan.”

He stuck his tongue out at the one in yellow, who merely sighed fondly.

Virgil wordlessly joined the cuddle pile, and as the stage lights faded to black and audience applause signalled the start of the final dance, all six of them stood together in the wing, holding each other. Friends for life. Ready to give their all on that stage, one last time.

One last time.

Next chapter

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jimlingss · 4 years

Text

The Colour of Our Voices [15]

Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16

➜ Words: 4k

➜ Genres: 98% Fluff, 2% Angst, Slice of Life, Broadway!AU

➜ Summary: He wasn’t supposed to hear. He wasn't supposed to know. But the instant Jimin came into your life and pulled the curtains back, you couldn't hide backstage anymore. You were no longer merely a phantom of the opera.

cr.

Every relationship has its own set of difficulties, its ups and downs. It’s just painful that you can’t be together when you want to. You never knew there’d come a point where your goals, dreams, and ambitions would contend with your relationship. It seems like it’s either one or the other and you don’t know if you can pick — if he would choose what you would. You hope that with time, it’ll pass. You try not to show how hurt you are over the missed date night incident even though it makes you overwhelmingly sad. But you can laugh at it a little when you’re faced with a different kind of reaction instead of sadness — rage. “He fucking forgot?!” Yeonjeon is hysterical and her disgust is practically tangible. “Oh my god. I’m going to kill him.” She gets up, but you pull her arm down with a laugh. Jimin’s at work. She probably wouldn’t know where to look for him even if she tried. “Hey, don’t kill him, I still love him.” “Yeah, and it’s a mistake,” the actress says right out and rolls her eyes. “God, I can’t believe I had a crush on that motherfucker. All men are pigs, aren’t they? What an asshole!” “It was an accident.” You shrug. “Uh-huh. Pathetic is what it is.” “He’s been really tired lately.” “Umm, don’t defend him in my house.” She’s personally offended and is still fuming. “He can’t even remember a date. Does he have one brain cell?” “No. He has at least two,” you giggle. Yeonjeon shakes her head, but softens. Suddenly, she puts her hands on your shoulders, making you look at her. “Listen, Y/N. Just dump Jimin.” Immediately, you burst out laughing. “I love him too much to dump him.” “Well, fame changes people,” she states coldly. “He probably thinks he’s some kind of big shot now because he’s has some stupid role in a movie.” You smile at her sheepishly. It doesn’t seem like fame changed him. More like fame changed his life. It changed yours too — if you could even call it fame. “Anyways, enough about that jerk—” “Yeonjeon,” you warn her with a pout. He’s your boyfriend after all so you’ll defend him till the end. “—how’s your own projects going so far?” “They’re going fine. Rapunzel doesn’t have that many lines and she doesn’t actually sing any lyrics, but in the scenes that she is in, they’re pretty important. I’m having fun. Plus the people there are really nice to work with too.” “You know what?” She snaps her fingers. “Now that I think about it. Rapunzel fits you perfectly.” You laugh at her and she eyes you. “What? It just does.” Someone else had told you that — a boy that you miss dearly.

Jimin’s been having a recurring nightmare recently — one where he’s a four year old again and he’s stacking blocks as high as he can. It doesn’t sound so bad, but always when he has the last block in his hand and goes to top off the tower, he can see it teeter. He knows what’s about to happen, He can see it right in front of him. But no matter what he does, how carefully he deals with the blocks, he can’t stop it from tumbling down. The worst part is knowing the inevitable, but being unable to stop it. To see the collapse before it happens. “Going home already, Park?” The corner of Jungkook’s mouth curls, eyes flickering down to how Jimin’s gathering his belongings. His bag and coat are slung over his arms as if he’s being chased by debt collectors and needs to run out as soon as possible. “Why so soon?” Chanyeol throws his arm around the younger’s shoulder, pulling him in. “I thought we were gonna go out for drinks again tonight.” “I’m good.” Jimin slyly and discreetly moves the actor’s arm off of him. “I think I’m gonna head home early. I’m pretty tired.” “Oh come on. Don’t be a downer. We even have our day off tomorrow. We should celebrate, don’t you think?” Chanyeol grins and looks across the set. “Hey, Director! You want to come with us again?” Yoongi, the camera director looks up from what he’s doing and shrugs. “Sure.” “See? Even Min’s coming. What are you waiting for?” It’s not rare to drink with the other cast members after a long day of filming. Usually outings can range from three to four people to every person on the set. They’re a good bunch but he wishes there weren't so many eyes on him right now. “What else would you be doing at home?” “He’s whipped for some girl at home, that’s why,” Jungkook says with a laugh. “Let him go if he really doesn’t want to come.” “That so?” Chanyeol raises his brows. “You can invite her.” “No, she works fairly early. She’s probably asleep right now.” “Then what are you going home for? Come on,” he insists, and Jimin succumbs to the pressure. // They’re huddled in a private room at the back of the fancy nightclub. It’s exclusive, sofas softer than expected, the back light of the walls creating a sensual ambiance and everything he drinks feels expensive. Jimin guesses this is what fame and fortune buys you. One of the girls working at the nightclub comes over with a tray of drinks, gorgeous with her dress that’s too small and too short, and her cleavage practically spilling out. Chanyeol whistles, tipping her with a pretty bill which she smiles to, and the actor notices the way Jimin diverts his eyes. “This girl of yours must be one hell of a woman,” he comments out of the blue and has Jimin’s eyes widening. “Me?” “Yeah, you, Park. Who else would I be talking about?” The handsome actor laughs boisterously, perhaps having taken one too many drinks. “Apparently they’re neighbours,” Jungkook pipes up, remembering the story Jimin told a few weeks ago. “Oof, brutal.” Chanyeol shakes his head. “If you guys break up, you’re gonna have to definitely move.” “We’re not going to break up,” Jimin instinctively states. It’s almost defensive in a way and he hopes they don’t notice the nervous tick in his fingers. There’s an exchange of expressions around the table. “You’re going to get married to her then?” “I don’t know. Maybe. Probably.” “Ooh, he is whipped,” Chanyeol sing-songs, but it also sounds sharp. Jungkook frowns. “You really want to tie yourself down so soon? I mean, it’s not a bad thing.” “It is a bad thing,” the other actor corrects, “Jimin’s young and good looking. You shouldn’t tie yourself down so early. You haven’t even begun to experience what kind of girls are out there….” Jimin doesn’t say anything. He takes the shot that’s in front of him. It’s bitter in his mouth, disgusting, but he ignores the actual taste to chase after the free feeling it gives him instead. “You’re cute — girls like that sort of thing. Trust me, you’ll be missing out if you tie yourself down now, Park. You have the rest of your life to be serious,” Chanyeol continues before his eyes flicker to the person across from him. “Right, Min?” Yoongi sighs and Chanyeol laughs, explaining, “He’s divorced. His ex-wife’s some critic who runs her own blog. They had to reach a huge settlement and it took two years in court, but get this, she didn’t change her last name back. She kept Min just to fuck with him.” “That’s enough,” Yoongi pipes up, cat-like eyes narrowed in on his drink. He throws it back and exhales afterwards. “I don’t want to talk about it.” The actor smiles, gripping his glass. “I got married to my high school sweetheart, and it’s an absolute nightmare.” Chanyeol grins and shakes his head, lighthearted in the way he talks and it makes Jimin’s own mouth quirk. “She’s bat shit insane.” Jungkook grins. “Didn’t she key your car?” “Broke my windshield too with a fucking brick.” Jimin blinks hard, unable to believe it. “Christ.” “They’re not crazy at the start, trust me. Everything’s always nice at the beginning — everyone’s in love, doesn’t matter that they like to call up their ex, that they want to forgo condoms and skip their birth control….” Jungkook snickers at Chanyeol’s woes and even Yoongi is amused. “I was an idiot, to say the least,” he sighs. “Not that I didn’t have my own problems, but I rushed into it way too quickly. What can you do, right? It would be bearable if not for the nagging.” “This is why I don’t do relationships,” Jungkook comments with his lips tightly drawn in a line. “Smart man.” He lifts his glass and they clink their drinks together. Jimin’s persuaded to take another shot. “Don’t you ever feel held down by her?” Chanyeol asks, smacking his lips. “Doesn’t she nag or anything?” “I wouldn’t say that….” Jimin considers it and his intoxication makes the words slip out recklessly. “She asks where I’m going. She texts me to ask when I’m coming home. She complains when I’m out late...sometimes.” The brunette shrugs. “She just worries about me.” “Sounds like a burden to me,” Chanyeol remarks. Suddenly Yoongi’s silence is broken. His eyes perceive more than they let on. “Does she ever make you feel bad for doing what you want?” “That’s a good point.” Jungkook nods and leans over to look at the brunette, propping his elbow on the table, chin in his hand. “You shouldn’t feel bad about doing what you want.” Jimin remains quiet. He drinks. It’s silent for a while, unsettlingly so and as each person waits for him to answer, Jimin never speaks. He never lifts his eyes away from the table. Chanyeol ends up clearing his throat. “What’s with this somber mood? Let’s change the subject! Come on, I’m getting too sober to be around you ugly motherfuckers. Shots, people!” They clink glasses together, laughing and moving on from the heavy topic of conversation. But they’re unknowing to just how it resonates with Jimin more than it should. He wants to be here — but you make him feel like he should be at home instead. He wants to perform, on screen or on Broadway — but you make him feel bad for being so busy. He loves you, but he feels guilty for your conflicting schedules, for not seeing you enough, even though this is all he’s been dreaming of, this is what he wanted… Jimin drinks and swallows past the thick lump forming in his throat. // The slamming door shakes you from your slumber. You turn around in your sheets, listening to the oncoming stomping footsteps, an irregular pattern instead of a consistent beat as if someone’s stumbling. The bedroom door creaks open and then Jimin dives into the sheets. He opens his arms and falls to his front, his arm hitting your shoulder. “What are you doing?” You rub your eyes and with a sigh, you sit up. You reach over to flicker the bedside lamp on. “Did you drink?” You can smell the alcohol radiating off of him, and it’s stronger than ever before. It’s surprising considering he’s usually a responsible drinker who always knows how to pace himself. One side of Jimin’s face is squished into the sheets, the other facing you. One of his eyes open. The pair of you stare at each other. “I love you.” The words slur and he exhales. “But goddamn ‘s hard sometimes.” You sigh again, getting up to take off his shoes as he lays there. You peel off his socks too, throwing them onto the ground for him to deal with it himself in the morning. “You didn’t even take off your jacket.” At least it’s his day off tomorrow, so he can get plenty of rest and recover — it doesn’t look like he’ll have a pleasant time in the morning. Unfortunately, the case is not the same for you. You have to wake up in three hours, so you’re not impressed to say the least. You climb over top of him, taking off his coat. Jimin’s arms are limp like noodles and he turns his head to stare straight at you. “‘Hy do you make me feel bad…’bout doing what I want, huh?” “What are you talking about, Jimin?” You go to unbutton his stained dress shirt reeking of spilled alcohol, but he abruptly shoves his hands off of him. “‘Could get so many girls….” “You could get so many girls?” Your eyebrow cocks. “Do you want to get girls?” “Dunno.” “Alright, Casanova.” You smile. “Let’s get you changed and to bed, ‘kay?” As you’re unbuttoning his shirt, peaceful silence settles around. Jimin savours the warmth of your hands on his skin, gazing at how your eyes are concentrated but still sleepy, how messy your hair is from twisting in the bed sheets and turning against the pillow. Your edges are soft in the yellow, dim light of the lamp. You’re practically glowing. “’re gonna break up, aren’t we?” The reaction is immediate. Your hands halt. Your lips fall. Your blood runs cold. “What?” “We’re gonna break up,” Jimin says it like he’s announcing it, like he’s decided himself. Your bottom lips tremble, hands quivering, and you quickly get off of him to collect yourself. You want to brush it off that he’s intoxicated, that doesn’t know what he’s saying. But drunk words are sober thoughts. “What are you saying?” “Do you know who I am?” His tongue slurs heavily, syllables melted together, and the man sits up slowly, swaying from side to side. “Who are you?” Your voice cracks against your will, eyes glossy and looking into his. “Cute — ‘Andsome — young — Park J-Jimin…..” He giggles with a finger in the air and he points at you. “‘M missing out by being with you, did ya know that? ‘Nd why do you make me feel guilty for doing what I want, huh? I wanna to go out and party and drink and meet girls and perform, but I gotta go home to you….sucks, man.” “It sucks, huh?” You swallow hard, fist curling tight into the sheets. “So you want to break up with me?” “’Ts gonna end anyways. Look at us.” Jimin falls onto his back again, cozying up in the sheets. “Don’t even see each other anymore.” “So this is it?” You ask again and again, not knowing where this is coming from, unable to believe that it’s happening. “Where else it gonna go?” You’re silent. You remove yourself from him, bringing your shaking hands into your lap. He lays there like a dead body, but he doesn’t fall asleep just yet despite the temptation being so strong. “What happened to the Jimin I first met?” you ask quietly, a mere whisper leaving your parted lips. You don’t know who this arrogant asshole is — a stranger has entered your home. “’S not here no more,” he mumbles, “Fame changed me. ’M not some sad dude pinning after you anymore.” “Go to bed, Jimin,” you spit out the command harsher than you thought was possible. It goes silent and you watch him sprawl in your bed, limbs spread freely and his chest rising and falling as he snores. You reach over to turn off the lamp and grab your pillow, shoving his head off of it. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and try to sleep out on the couch for the remaining hours. But it’s hard when you’re so restless. // The sunlight pierces through the window and into his eyes. He groans, shaken awake and brought to consciousness and to his head throbbing. His head aches and he feels sickly, the world swirling around him. Jimin gets up and stumbles to the bathroom to relieve his bladder. He tries to wash his face afterwards and brush his teeth. When he leaves, he holds onto the door frame to brace himself and he hears noisy clanging in the kitchen that makes him wince. He staggers out, shocked to see you. “What are you doing here?” Jimin’s voice cracks and he moves to get water to quench his painful thirst. Your back stays turned to him. “It’s one in the afternoon,” you state rather coldly, mumbling from the corner of your mouth. “I asked to come home early. I remembered I’m allowed to do that.” He raises a brow and finishes drinking an entire bottle. “Are you still mad at me for forgetting our date night?” It goes quiet. You don’t spare him a glance, simply putting the dishes away. The loud clanging has him flinching. “I already said I’m sorry,” he reasons, “I got you flowers!” You don’t know what he’s talking about and you don’t care to learn. “Y/N.” You came home to talk to him but now that he’s here, you know that you’ll regret what wants to come out. “Y/N.” “Y/N,” Jimin repeats for the third time. He approaches and secures his hands on your shoulders, forcibly turning you around to face him. “Are you ignoring me?” “Don’t touch me.” You shove his hands off of you, stepping back. His eyes frantically search your hurt expression and he’s utterly confused. “Please. Just don’t.” “W-What’s wrong?” “You don’t remember anything about last night?” you ask him, loudly, enough to strain your own voice. Jimin winces again. “Can you not shout at me? I have a headache.” “You said….you wanted to break up with me,” you whisper, unable to believe it yourself. When you say it with your own mouth, it stings and you want to burst out crying. Jimin watches the way your expression crumples and he pales. It slowly comes back to him in waves, vague but he begins to remember bits and pieces, enough to know what he’s done. “Hey.” Jimin reaches out, stepping closer. But he retracts his hand. “I’m sorry.” “You always are.” Maybe it shouldn’t be a big deal. He was drunk, inebriated, not in full control of his words — but to know he was even thinking about it, to know that he’s lined up the reasons for his dissatisfaction with your relationship, to hear it be said aloud, hurts. “I’m sorry. I really am.” He searches the floor and musters the courage to lift his eyes. “You don’t believe me?” “It’s not that I don’t believe you aren’t sorry,” you murmur, “I just think you’re sorry that I know what you think now.” “Oh come on, babe. Y/N.” Jimin follows you to the living room. “I didn’t mean it.” “Really?” You stop on your heel. You hate this — hate being upset and angry, hate feeling at a loss, hate spiraling out of control. “Not the part where you think I’m basically a huge burden to you now? Not the part where you want to get girls and go to parties and how I make you feel bad about doing the things you want? Not the part where you’re no longer pathetic enough to love me? Or what was it that you said, oh yeah, you’re not some sad guy pinning after me anymore.” “I was drunk.” “Were you? Or were they your sober thoughts?” He sighs in frustration. Your loud voice is worsening his headache. And this isn’t what he wanted to do first thing he woke up — he doesn’t want to argue with you. But he doesn’t know how to make it stop. “I think that it’s unfair you’re using this against me when I was wasted.” “You told me that we should break up because we don’t even see each other anymore. Because what else was supposed to happen to us,” you softly whisper, crossing your arms, holding yourself. Now that he can answer clearly, now he’s not drunk anymore, there are no excuses. “So what is that you want from us, Jimin? Do I really make you feel guilty for doing the things you want to do? Is that how you feel about me now?” “No, that’s not it. I’m...I’m sorry.” “You’re selfish,” you say, spitefully. “That’s what you are. Always have been.” Jimin scoffs outright. “Selfish?” “All you think about is yourself. What you want. What you don’t have. What you’re missing out on. You’re supposed to think about the other person in a relationship. We’re supposed to sacrifice, compromise — and you’re not willing to do that. You don’t think about me for a second, Jimin.” “Are you kidding me? I am trying my best! Everything I do is for us and our future together—” “Really? I thought we didn’t have a future in your plans.” He ignores your low jab. “I took care of you when you hated me. How’s that sacrifice for you?” “Well nobody asked! Did they?” “I love you!” Jimin shouts at the top of his lungs, making his throat dry again. “I’ve loved you longer than you loved me. Even when you were jealous of me, when you hated me, I loved you. And I still love you!” “Then why did you tell me that I make you feel bad for doing what you want?!” you’re sobbing as the last word comes out, holding your face in your hands. Guilt swallows him whole. “Because it does. I feel bad that I don’t get enough to spend enough time with you. I feel bad that we’re always waiting for the other person to come home. I feel bad about going out with the cast when I should be having fun and for taking on roles when I know it’ll be time consuming even though that’s been my dream.” You’re sobbing, shaking your head. “W-What do you want me to do?” “I don’t know.” He can’t find a solution, and he’s most certainly not going to make you give up your dream. Jimin’s not going to ask or make you do anything. Everything caused by ill timing. Caused by stress. What’s the point of being in a relationship when you can’t even see each other? It always seems like you have to choose each other or choose your ambitions. Jimin wants to say boldly that he’ll figure it out with you — that he’ll find a way to do both. He wants to hug you, to embrace you, let you cry into his shoulder as he makes more meaningless apologies. He wants to say that with time, it’ll pass, that your schedules will clear up, that the pair of you will overcome this obstacle. But he can’t bring himself to say it or to step forward. “Maybe we should take a break.” You’re taken aback. A break? So he can do whatever he wants and thinks he can still have you? “What’s that supposed to mean?” “I don’t know,” Jimin admits. “I think we just need some time away from each other to figure this out.” Without the obligation of having to see you, of having to maintain this relationship, the guilt would disappear. Maybe neither of you would have to feel so bad about yourselves. But you persist in your questions. “Figure what out? Us?” Jimin’s frustrated at why you don’t understand. “Well if you don’t like it, then maybe we should just cleanly break it off with one another. If that makes more sense to you.” “Fine,” you hiss out of unadulterated spite. His eyes widening, mouth dropping open. He’s shocked at your quick answer. Jimin’s rendered speechless, breathless. “F-Fine then…” “Get out of my apartment, Jimin.” You sniffle with your chest heaving. He can’t believe it’s happening. Everything in his mind screams for him to stop, but his body moves on its own. Then the door slams shut.

#bts fanfic #bts scenario #bts jimin fanfic #bts jimin fluff #bts jimin #jimin reader insert #jimin scenario #jimin fanfic

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comfy-whumpee · 3 years

Text

Cat 2

@whumptober2020 Day 28: Normal. Taken from ‘Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.’

TW: Lindsey is kind of intimate in this, in a platonic but attracted way.

Taglist: @lonesome--hunter, @iaminamoodymoodtoday, @wildfaewhump, @ishouldblogmore, @lektricwhump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @eatyourdamnpears.

The captive was chained against the wall, long links of metal locked around the nailed-in loops in the concrete. The arms were above the head, the ankles together on the ground, and just like everyone else, the video camera was placed on its tripod in front of the victim.

It was all terribly, obnoxiously normal, except the person in the chains was Cat.

Lindsey had taken her blazer and searched her pockets, disappointed to find only the key card from the hotel and the empty packet of painkillers. “Not even your knife, Cat?” she’d commented, tossing the jacket aside. “For shame!”

Cat had only glared. Her glasses had been nudged slightly askew, and it made everything tilted, as though seasick. She didn’t have the hands to straighten them.

Now Lindsey was unbuttoning her shirt, leaning close enough that Cat could smell her, could hear her humming to herself softly, and the feeling of fingers popping the buttons of her blouse through was somehow the least disturbing thing about this situation.

“Okay!” Lindsey said, once she had unveiled her grim canvas. “Um, what’s next? Ugh, I suck at this bit!”

Next was to set the camera to record. Cat didn’t speak to tell her. Normally that was her job, so it stood to reason that Lindsey wouldn’t remember, and Cat was not interested in being a snuff film. She stared at Lindsey, and after a moment’s thought, said, “Now you fucking let me go because I’m the only person who’ll put up with your shit.”

Lindsey grinned. “Nuh-uh. You stopped putting up with me when you took Liam away. You weren’t gonna come back, Cat, I know you weren’t.”

Cat didn’t have anything to say to that. The comment had served its purpose; Lindsey had forgotten about the routine she was trying to follow. The camera was off. Fucking typical, that she’d be captured by someone who wouldn’t even remember to set the camera to record.

Someone whom she’d allowed to know her, who turned on her.

Fucking typical.

“Umm, oh, I know!” Lindsey brightened again. “Cat Herrera! You’re here because you did a bad thing! You left me, your wife, at home and ran away to elope with some guy. Also you took the nice car.”

“I’m not your wife,” Cat reminded her, for at least the thousandth time. “You know I—”

“Hate it when I call you that, yeah, yeah, I know.” Lindsey stretched her arms above her head, and gave Cat a sunny smile with a hint of slyness. “That’s why I did it. You put up with my shit! I know you hate the idea of getting married again so I, y’know. Played with it.”

The wall was suddenly very cold at Cat’s bare back. Lindsey had calculated that, too? How many more things had she missed?

Lindsey’s expression was in the shadow of the brightness of the single bulb, hanging behind her head like an ungodly halo. “You put up with loads of stuff. I cut people sometimes and you fixed it. I stole stuff and you fixed it. And you gave me people to torture! And you acted like you were a good person for doing it!” She moved forwards, beaming. “You were the dream girl.” Her voice softened. Her eyes were dark and bright. “All I had to do was keep you safe from that nasty world out there, and let you think you controlled me.”

Cat’s heartbeat was pulsing against her skin. She didn’t look away, didn’t break Lindsey’s stare, but it was no longer the glare of judgement. She looked up at Lindsey and recognised, distantly, that she was a prey animal caught in the sightlines of a predator, wondering which way to bolt.

Calm down. She knew which way.

“And you’re going to throw it away for a few days of fun,” she replied, and her voice was level. Lindsey didn’t get to do this. She didn’t get to win.

“Yeah, I am.” The knife came up, and Cat held still as the curve of the hook touched the bottom of her chin. “I can’t let you leave.”

One good thing about the gut hook was that it didn’t stab when she spoke. She spoke normally. She wouldn’t show fear, couldn’t. “I told you, I wasn’t leaving.”

“You were!” Lindsey cried suddenly, and the knife slashed down and caught on Cat’s collarbone, pain roaring to life as the tip caught and gouged through the skin. “I know you, Cat, don’t patronise me! You ran away from me! You took your fake ID and the money and the car and you disappeared and you didn’t tell me why, that’s not a lesson for me, you were running away!”

Her voice bounced off the walls, a pressure against Cat’s head as the migraine pulsed gently against her right eye. It was back, of course. Couldn’t do one thing at a time. The slow march of hot blood down her front was only part of the delights she had waiting for her today—

Focus. She kept her gaze level, breathing even, and voice steady. The more emotional Lindsey got, the calmer she had to be. “I made you think that, you idiot. That was the point.”

“No. No, the safe was a secret, the other ID you had.” Lindsey’s voice dropped back into conversational lightness dizzyingly fast. “You wanted to run. My own wife—”

“I’m not your fucking wife—”

“—leaving me for a boy.”

“I don’t even date, Lindsey.”

“Mhmm, because you know what I’d do to anyone you did.”

“No. You know I’m not interested.”

Lindsey shrugged away the truth. “You’re not a very good liar. You get all snippy and mean when you lie. C’mon, just admit it. You wanted to leave me.”

Cat glared at her, but she was thinking. If Lindsey really could tell when she was lying – sometimes, not all the time – then it was better to be honest about this one thing. Just one thing.

“I didn’t,” she said. She let it pause, let Lindsey’s eyebrows rise at it sank in. “I didn’t want to leave you, Lin. I wanted to believe you’d just messed up, that you really had changed and you listened to me. I wanted to ignore it. But Liam was like me, you know it. I couldn’t let you fuck him up. We’re supposed to protect people like that.”

Lindsey’s nose wrinkled. “That was your thing, not me.”

“It was our thing,” Cat corrected, sharply as she could muster. “It was what we built together. And you destroyed it because you couldn’t resist a victim under your nose. Don’t blame me for this, Lindsey. This was all you.”

Lindsey didn’t immediately reply. Cat breathed, controlled and regular, feeling her heartbeat slow. That was it, her last appeal to their relationship. A line in the sand, though Lindsey might not know it. If she listened, and accepted it was her fault, maybe Cat could get out of this alive. Maybe she still had a foothold, however small, in Lindsey’s artificial conscience.

For a long minute, Lindsey thought. She was frowning, which was a good sign. The less happy she was with the situation, the better Cat’s odds were. The less certain she was that this was what she wanted, the more likely it was that Cat could persuade her that it wasn’t.

“Mmnngh,” Lindsey groaned. “Maybe you’re right. I did kinda fuck up. I could’ve got you back. But you should’ve told me you weren’t running away.”

Relief couldn’t be shown. Cat rolled her eyes. “Fine. I will next time.” Glare. “Not that there should be a next time.”

“No,” Lindsey agreed, but she seemed distracted. “No, there wouldn’t be. ‘Cause, even if you were gonna come back, now...” Her eyes focused on Cat’s bleeding collarbone. “I did it, didn’t I?”

“What?”

“I hurt you.” She raised the knife and considered it, tilting it until a reflection of light crossed her face. She rubbed a thumb over the hook, smearing away a trace of Cat’s blood. “You said if I ever hurt you, you’d leave forever. And I just did.”

Cat watched, unable to speak, as Lindsey’s eyes moved back to her cut, fixed there. A hand rose, brushed across the skin, pressed where it was broken as if she could rub it away, and Lindsey sighed softly, happily. “Your heart’s beating so fast.”

Cat’s jaw set. “Let me down.”

“Mm-mm. Not this time.” Slowly, she raised the knife. With the edge of the blade, this time, she drew down Cat’s other collarbone, a long slice along its ridge that stung in the metal’s wake. Lindsey exhaled shakily. “Oh man, I’m so not allowed to do this.”

She knew. She did it anyway. The time for talking was over. Words wouldn’t stop her now.

“Cat,” Lindsey said, and it was still the same voice, the same tone, the same friend who had been with her for over a decade. “You look so good. You’re so pretty. I knew it, I knew you would be.”

Don’t be so fucking creepy, Lin.

There was no point. This was happening. Her nightmares had come true.

“I know you like blue,” Lindsey said, and the smile in her eyes was bright, too bright, fixated. “But I think red is your colour.”

#whump #whumptober2020 #no.28 #such wow. many normal. very oops #ladywhump #lady whumper #...lady on lady whump?#fem whump #intimate whumper #chains #defiant whumpee #cat #lindsey #my fic #cutting

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winterisakillerwrites · 4 years

Text

Becoming - Part Four

Title: Becoming

One Shot: 4/6

Character: Tom Hiddleston

Genre: Realistic(?) fluff; Angst

Rating: T

Summary: Learning about his son was only just the start of the story. As Tom Hiddleston struggles to adapt to this sudden change in his life, he comes to learn that becoming a father might be the biggest role he’d ever taken on. *Sequel/Continuation of Lovers’ Eyes*

Authors Notes/Warnings: This story came about because I knew there was still so much about Tom and his son that I wanted to explore. I fully intended this to be a quick flash forward into their lives, a snapshot if you will….They had other ideas and so here we are. This is technically all one story but has been broken down into parts to make the reading easier.

Thanks so much first and foremost to @ciaodarknessmyheart who has dealt with me throwing all of these ideas at her and has helped shape them into something coherent and wonderful.

Hope you all enjoy!

Tag List: @tinchentitri @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @noplacelikehome77 @blacksuitofdoom @nonsensicalobsessions @theheartofpenelope @ms-cellanies @nuggsmum @inkededucatednnerdy @redfoxwritesstuff @just-the-hiddles @wolfsmom1 @theoneanna @hiddlescastle @sabine-leo @alexakeyloveloki @echantedbytwh @finchbaggins @kenzieam @ciaodarknessmyheart @ladyblablabla @trippedmetaldetector

Breakfast, while more than a touch uneasy, had been nowhere near as awkward as Tom feared it would be. Not that he’d set out expecting to be invited in, especially after turning up on their doorstep at just after eight in the morning with absolutely no warning at all. It had been an impulsive, reckless decision but Tom could not find it in himself to regret it. Even as Keira glared at him coolly, her hand resting on Jaime’s shoulder as the boy bounced excitedly. They passed several moments in awkward silence before she gave a curt nod and invited Tom into the house. It was abundantly clear to Tom that while she wasn’t against him being involved in the boy’s life, dropping by as if he had the right to do so as he pleased was a step too far in her book. But she hadn’t fought him on it and for that Tom was incredibly grateful.

An extra place had been set and Tom found himself pulled to sit next to a bright eyed Jaime who was speaking a mile a minute. He smiled indulgently as he took in the food laid on the table. Eggs, toast, crispy bacon, and sausages. Tom piled a fair amount onto his own plate, watching in fascination as Jaime ate between rapidly firing questions. His sleep logged mind struggled to keep up.

The coffee Keira had set before him was a godsend in more ways than one. He nodded at her, offering what he hoped she would see was a small, grateful smile. Things were never going to be easy between them, too much bad blood lingered between them for that, but Tom hoped somehow they would be able to find middle ground. For Jaime’s sake at least.

After breakfast, Jaime had lead his newly discovered father into the back garden to run and play. The weather was thankfully warm and surprisingly dry in a way that Tom was certain was tempting the weather gods. Especially this late in the year. They ran about for what felt like ages until Keira called them back inside, sending the boy upstairs to wash up and change for the day. Tom found himself rocking back and forth on his heels, wondering if he was overstepping the unspoken lines Keira had laid at the start of this. No matter what he or Jaime felt, Keira was the boy’s legal guardian. He was bound by her rules unless he took the steps to change it and with his life as uncertain as it was, that day seemed far off indeed.

Things weren’t exactly easy after that strange morning, but they were slowly drifting in that direction. Jaime had clung to the idea of Tom as his father in a way Tom hadn’t expected. The boy was a mess of questions, curiosity, and joy. Over the years, in countless interviews, he’d been asked to describe his idea of happiness. And he’d always had the same, sweet but safely generic answers; lyrics or a quote he’d heard years ago. Things that captured the idea but not perhaps his reality of it. Never the real answer; his family or the first time he’d acted on stage, his first time on a set. Things that, looking back, were wonderful…But now, now he knew with absolute certainty that his happiness was seeing the pure unadulterated joy in the eyes of his little boy.

It amazed him at times, thinking that something so simple, so small in the scheme of things, could come to mean so very much. Things were better yes…But they still had a long way to go.

While Jaime had taken to Tom’s new role in his life like a duck to water, Keira had been wary. She didn’t hinder the relationship growing between Tom and Jaime nor did she actively encourage it. It had been a constant source of frustration for Tom. He knew why she acted the way she did, understood his behavior in regards to her daughter coloured the way she viewed him now. And he couldn’t fault her for that. Had he been in her position, Tom couldn’t say he wouldn’t have done the same.

But he knew, even if he hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it, that sooner rather than later they would need to sit and talk, properly talk, about what was happening. About the role Tom would play in Jaime’s life.

Tom had intended to find time to set aside to do just that, had even called his agent about starting to look for a good family solicitor should push indeed come to shove, but as it always did his life managed to throw itself in the way. He’d known filming for his latest project was coming up, and much sooner than he liked, but he hadn’t predicted the change in schedule which pushed up his need to be on set by a good three weeks. All the time he’d thought he’d had to prepare Jaime (and in all honesty, to prepare himself) for the looming separation his work would bring had been snatched from him. They needed him in five days’ time.

He’d cursed after his agent had broken the news (a call shortly after he’d made it in the door from his morning run) and cursed a great deal more when it hit him he’d have to explain, yet again, to Jaime why he had to leave sooner than he’d promised. It killed him to think about the disappointment he knew he’d see in his little boy’s eyes. Disappoint that he, again, would be the sole cause of.

They’d had so many things planned in those three weeks; trips to the park, the zoo, playdates and other things Tom’s agent and Luke most definitely hadn’t been thrilled with (especially without any formal public statement regarding his newly found status as a father) but begrudgingly agreed to look the other way. Things Tom himself had been looking forward to. How could he not, with the way Jaime’s face had lit up whenever he talked about it? And now he had to crush that hope, had to disappoint him yet again. The all too familiar doubts raged; would he every truly be a good father for Jaime? Didn’t Jaime deserve someone who could be there? Who could keep the promises they’d made?

His mother’s voice, who had swiftly become his voice of reason (had been for the majority of his life if he was being completely honest), scoffed at him. ‘It doesn’t matter what you think the boy deserves, you are what he has. And you will find a way to make it work, even if it’s far from ideal. You will make it work because you don’t have any other choice.’

Jaime had been understandably upset by the news, tearful and not quite understanding why the father he’d just found had to leave again and so quickly. Tom did his best, again and again, in those few days leading up to his departure to explain as best he could the whys of his leaving. To explain that it didn’t mean Tom loved him any less or that he didn’t want to be his daddy anymore (when Jaime had uttered those words Tom was sure his heart had broken into a thousand sharp and painful shards). This was a temporary thing; he would be available by phone or by video and that as soon as he could he would be home.

Keira said nothing but watched him with knowing eyes. Tom knew the picture he must be painting and hated that in her eyes he was only proving her opinion of him correct. But what could he honestly do? He was under contract and breaking it now would cause more trouble and strife than it was worth. Not that he hadn’t tried, but his agent (and his solicitors) had been firm. Walking out now would be as good as blacklisting himself. He’d already lost enough good will over the stunt he’d pulled several months back. Backing out of another project so soon after…That would certainly be the final nail in the coffin. And then what would he do? Acting was as much a part of his life as breathing. And as selfish as it was, Tom wasn’t sure he could ever fully walk away.

He let her quiet stares go, the fight that would ensue should he push the matter wasn’t one he thought himself mentally ready for. Not at this time. But he’d spoken to both Luke and his agent and started the ball rolling, he would be ready and he would fight tooth and nail if he had to. He was Jaime’s father and he owed it to not only the boy but to himself and to Eliza to be the best father he could be. To be as fully involved in his life as he was able to be.

Tom kissed and hugged Jaime goodbye on the last day before he was scheduled to fly out. They’d played in his grandmother’s back garden and Tom promised to call as soon as he had settled to show Jaime his temporary home. The drive back to London had been hellish; traffic was a nightmare and his nerves were only serving to make the already short fuse of his temper glow hotter still. He’d snapped at Luke when his friend had called reminding him of his flight details and when the car would be around to drive him to Heathrow. Tom had apologized immediately after, it wasn’t Luke’s fault and god knows he didn’t want to repeat his mistakes in this upcoming production. Didn’t want to slip back into that angry, frustrated man he’d been.

“You’re tired, mate. And you’re stressed. So I will let that slide, just work on keeping yourself in check. I like working with you Tom, but lately you’ve been making me earn my pay and I’m not entirely sure I like that.”

What was said no doubt in jest wriggled in the back Tom’s mind the rest of that evening and well into the following day. He’d managed to scrape up enough sleep to not be a complete mess when the hire car arrived in the morning. His bags had been packed and left by the door the night before and his carryon was at his side. He threw in the last of the bits and bobs he needed for the journey and headed out into the pre-dawn light.

Bags packed securely in the trunk of the car, they sped off towards Heathrow and towards months of long, hard work that normally spiked a fevered excitement in him but now left him on edge and apprehensive. Once he got settled into a routine, he knew the unease would ebb away but until then…

The flight was long and despite the perks of first class flying, the seats were never terribly comfortable and sleep was elusive. When he’d finally disembarked the only thing on Tom’s mind was the warm, comfy bed awaiting him. The drive from the airport to the hotel had been long enough that Tom found himself nodding off in the backseat. He’d nearly jumped out of his skin when the driver shook his shoulder to wake him. Check in was mercifully a quiet, easy process and before he was consciously aware of it, Tom was in his room and laying face first onto the cool, white duvet. He drifted off again, only to be woken by the ringing of his mobile.

Confused and still in the clutches of sleep, it took him an embarrassingly long amount of time to recognize the sound for what it was and then to dig his mobile from his trouser pocket. He smiled, blearily as he recognized the number and slid his finger across the screen to answer.

“Jaime, lad.”

Filming had gone far better than Tom had dared hope, especially given its inauspicious start. He enjoyed his role and had developed a genuine report with his cast-mates. It was nice to be able to escape into someone else’s life for a short time. To live through someone else’s emotions. He spoke with Jaime nearly every day, enjoying the small bits of information Jaime told him of his day. He’d shared what he could as well, sending Jaime pictures of himself in make-up and costume. Taking him on a virtual tour of the set. Reading bedtime stories to him. Time did not speed by, but it passed soon enough.

When wrap was called after just over three months, Tom felt both an acute sadness that the end of filming almost always brought in him and an immense relief that he would be home soon. He’d managed to duck out of the wrap party after a few hours and was thankfully dropped off at the airport shortly thereafter (he had packed before heading to the party, checked out of his hotel, and left the baggage stored safely in the back of the hire car). He spent the entire flight back to the UK in nervous excitement.

He’d rushed home from the airport, grateful to shower and sleep in his own bed. His sister had thankfully stopped by the day before to air out the house and to make sure his fridge and pantry were stocked. He had people who could easily have done this for him, and he’d used said people in the past, but this time his sister had gotten the idea in her head and nothing could budge her from it.

Tom woke the next morning, confused but comfortable. It took him several moments to remember he was home. He blinked at the dimly lit room, getting his bearings. He’d no idea what time it was, hadn’t even remembered putting himself to bed. He glanced at the bedside table, midafternoon then. Which meant he’d slept at least ten hours. That’ll do wonders with acclimating to BST, he thought with a groan. He sat up and scrubbed his face with his hands. He needed to get up and get back into a routine or he’d never get himself back on track.

Padding downstairs, he fixed himself a cup of coffee and set about throwing together a light breakfast. Once finished he ate it hastily, carrying the plate into the living room and settling on the sofa where he set about checking his mobile for missed calls or texts. He had a few from Luke and from his agent, which he returned. A solicitor had been arranged regarding his paternity claim should he wish to pursue custody. He also had a few interviews scheduled for later in the week regarding various projects.

There were messages from his mum and sister as well as one from Jaime. He sighed as he played the message from his son, guilt coursing through him. He’d mean to call Jaime once he’d made it home but must have passed out before he’d done so. He called him back, apologizing and explaining that he’d gotten in late and fallen asleep soon after. Jaime seemed to accept this and immediately launched into a tale about his day, asking breathlessly after when Tom was going to come by. As soon as he showered, Tom promised (Keira be damned). Excited at the prospect of seeing his daddy, Jaime ended the call with a happy laugh. Tom chuckled to himself, taking the stairs two at a time.

The conflict with Keira came to a head a few short weeks later. After a trip to the park, and while Jaime had been upstairs in his room, Keira’s quiet disapproval became too much. He hadn’t meant to call her out as he did, had intended on trying to keep the conversation civil but stress and frustration (both at her attitude and at the sneaking suspicion that he’d seen a photographer at the park watching him and Jaime) had brought his words out with far more force than he had intended. Keira had been taken aback, clearly not expecting such vehemence and had fired back with equal force. It was only after hearing Jaime’s footsteps on the landing that the two seemed to remember themselves.

They plastered smiles on their faces and put the matter aside until after the lad had been fed, washed, and sent to bed. It was clear this was a conversation neither of them were delighted about having but one they knew needed to come to pass. Keira put forth her opinion that while Tom was biologically linked to Jaime, that didn’t mean he was able to be a proper parent to the boy. Jaime needed structure, support, stability. Tom worked a great deal and often in far flung locations. With Jaime preparing to start his schooling, what would that kind of disruption do to him?

Her words stung. They were things he’d thought himself and often. But he had a right to be as involved in Jaime’s life as he could be and he’d said as much. Yes, his work meant his life was less structured or home based than most, but it wouldn’t always be. Now that this project was completed, his future work would be much more local. And save for promotional work, his schedule was clearer than it had been in years. He wanted have a tangible, legal stake in Jaime’s life. That didn’t mean he was planning to snatch him from her or that he wanted to turn the boy’s life on its head. He simply wanted to have a say in his life, to be responsible for him in more than just name.

“Jaime is my son, Keira. He is all I have left of Eliza. I messed up terribly with her and I can never, ever take that back. I won’t let that happen with Jaime, not if I can help it.” Tom sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I want to do this as friendly as I possibly can but make no mistake I will take this as far as I need to. Please, please let us do this in a way that will cause the least disruption to his life.”

Tensions still running high, Tom had left and spent his entire drive home wondering what the hell he was going to do. Keira called the next morning and told him that if he was serious then maybe it was time solicitors were engaged. The words sent a shiver of real fear through his gut, though he didn’t truly think she’d meant then in any malicious way. The courts would need to be involved, in some capacity and Tom had always known that. But the irrational part of his brain worried that in doing so he would be inciting a chain of events that could bring the boy more harm than good.

#Tom Hiddleston #Tom Hiddleston RPF #Becoming #original child character #grief #guilt #Dad!Tom #winterisakiller writes

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marinaaniseed · 4 years

Text

Ribbons and leaves

Song: Ribbons and leaves from the album Happiness in magazine by Graham Coxon.

Summary: Bucky finds you after 80 years.

Pairing: Female reader x Bucky Barnes

Length: 1,984 words

Warnings: Some old fashioned attitudes to sex and sexuality, traumatic events in Bucky’s past (including at the hands of HYDRA) and I guess spoilers if you’ve not seen the Captain America films. This one might hurt.

A/N: This was written for @lancsnerd‘s #Lancsnerd1kchallenge. So happy for you, you deserve every follower! I’ve combined it with a songshot, so for clarity, stuff in bold are the lyrics, stuff that’s underlined is my prompt, anything sans formatting is just me. I made myself cry while writing this, so be warned again, this one might hurt. See here for what this is all about.

***

In an old house, in an old street, Bucky finds you. You’re old too, of course, exactly as he should be.

Sitting in front of the TV, your son lets Bucky in. James, he said his name was. A good name, Bucky thinks, even if he hates it when people call him that.

Bucky’s surprised by the lack of surprise when he appears on your doorstep, like somehow your son was expecting him. He supposes that you told James about him, after the world found out that Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier were one and the same.

Tea is brought through on a tray, and James excuses himself, leaving the two of you to talk.

“Took you long enough to find me,” you tell him, turning the TV off and turning to look at him. Time and circumstances have weathered him a little, but essentially he’s still the same man you said goodbye to, back in the 1940s.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky mumbles, because he is. But he’s glad you’re still alive, that he’s found you before it’s too late.

“You’re here now. Better late than never,” you observe. “Got your old cap and tobacco tin, you can finally have them back.”

He’d forgotten about those. It hurts his heart to hear how you kept those things, that you never forgot him, even though he was forced to forget you. It seems you never quite moved on, despite the photos that line the walls.

“I see you have a beautiful family,” Bucky says, looking around the room. He can’t see your husband in any, just two children at various ages, and eventually grandchildren and even great-grandchildren too.

“So do you,” you say softly.

“No, I never settled down,” Bucky notes. But if he had, he would’ve liked it to have been you.

“James, who you met, is named after his father. He and his sister were born eight months after I last saw you,” you state, not sure what else to say.

You can pinpoint the exact moment that it finally dawns on Bucky. His eyes go wide, skin goes deathly pale, and he opens and shuts his mouth several times, failing to make any noises.

“I have a son? And a daughter? Do they know? Did James know?” he eventually stutters.

“They’ve always known, I never hid from them who their father was,” you tell Bucky. “James has my late husband’s surname, but he always knew you were his father.”

“That’s why he wasn’t surprised to see me,” Bucky surmises, kicking himself for not finding you sooner.

“Correct. When I found out, I wrote to you. My letters went unanswered and I got in contact with your sister, trying to find out what was wrong. How we prayed for you to come on home. Eventually, we got the news that you’d fallen to your death,” you explain.

Bucky shudders at the memory. In a lot of ways, it would’ve been better if he had died that day, instead of enduring what HYDRA put him through.

“My soldier, my dead prince. You can understand the predicament I was in. An unwed mother to be. Marriage was the solution for me and for my husband. He was a queer fella, a friend, needed a wife so that the navy didn’t find out what he really liked. A practical solution for all,” you note. “He died in Europe, too, but at least I got to play the part of the honourable widow, with two young children, instead of the stigma of having two bastards.”

That explained why your husband was missing from all of the photos.

“And you never remarried?” Bucky asks. He imagines how he feels right now is comparable to the shock Steve must’ve felt when he realised that Bucky was still alive.

“Never,” you note. “I married for practical reasons, the only way I’d do it again was for love, and the man I love was gone.”

It doesn’t escape Bucky’s notice that you said love, not loved. He moves to sit next to you, taking your hands in his. So small and delicate in comparison.

“I love you,” he says, blinking back tears. “I’m sorry you lived all of this without me. I’m sorry you never knew that I was still alive.”

“It’s ok, you’re here now,” you tell him, handing him a tissue from the box on the table. “You’re here now, it’s not too late. Everyone will be so excited to meet you.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, doll. I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about. Or I was,” Bucky says, gnawing on his lip. “I don’t want to intrude into your lives or cause any bother.”

There’s a soft knock on the door, and James enters, a tiny sleeping baby in his arms.

You give him a smile and a nod to let him know that it’s ok, that Bucky knows.

“So, uh, dad,” James starts softly with a smile, so like Bucky’s own that he can see that this is definitely his son. Tears start rolling down Bucky’s face, moistening his facial hair. He never thought anyone would call him dad, and now here is this man, who looks old enough to be his father, calling him dad.

“Since you never got to hold any of us when we were small, I wondered if you wanted to hold Samantha? She’s my first granddaughter. We brought her round to see mum today,” James says, stepping towards them with the baby.

It’s all too much. Bucky’s heart shatters at the thought of all that he’s missed. His own son is here, in the twilight of his life, and Bucky’s missed it all. He sobs softly and you put your arm around him. James sits down on the other side of him, holding the still sleeping baby.

“Are you sure?” Bucky asks, voice breaking. “Are you sure you trust me? You know what I’ve done.”

“Of course I trust you, you’re my dad,” James observes, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Even when we found out about the Winter Soldier, about you, mum never believed it was really you doing those things.”

“The man I knew wouldn’t, couldn’t do those things,” you tell Bucky. “They took the gentlest man in the world and turned him into a machine. I’m glad they couldn’t erase all of you.”

One day, maybe, he’ll sit down and tell you, tell James, everything that happened, everything he can remember. It’ll take time, because there’s so much he needs to know, so much he wants to catch up on and understand.

Carefully, James places the baby in Bucky’s arms. Her hair is so dark and chocolatey, just like his. She stirs slowly, but doesn’t cry, blinking open big eyes. They’re the same shade as yours. Even so many generations down the line, parts of you and parts of Bucky are still evident. Samantha tries to focus on Bucky and her mouth forms a small smile. Bucky smiles back, trying not to cry again.

It’s been so long since he held a baby, probably not since his sister.

“Did you ever meet my sister?” Bucky asks James.

“Aunt Beccy was the only real family we had,” James answers. “Albert’s family, mum’s husband’s family, lost touch with us after he died. Moved away to Hawaii. We didn’t have any cousins, so Beccy treated us like her own. I’m sorry she died without knowing you were alive.”

“It’s ok, it’s better that she didn’t know what I did,” Bucky insists.

A tiny hand grips his vibranium thumb. Something so beautiful, tiny, and innocent, unwittingly grasping a weapon.

No, that’s wrong. He’s not a weapon anymore, he’s not the Asset.

Bucky’s so lost, staring at his smiling great-granddaughter that he doesn’t notice more people have joined them.

A small boy, probably just around school age, stops in front of you.

“Happy birthday, grandnan,” he says cheerfully to you, holding out a handmade card covered in glitter and stickers.

“Thank you, Tristan,” you tell him with a smile. “Is this why I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen until you were done?”

The boy nods, hair flopping forwards. While your hair is white now, the colour Bucky remembers lives on with this small boy.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry,” Bucky mumbles, cheeks heating up. “I completely forgot it was your birthday.”

“I’d prefer to forget it,” you reassure him. “But apparently, when you get to our kind of age, every birthday is a big one. Does that mean I’m older than you now?”

“You’ll always be my baby girl,” he says. “Looks can be deceiving, but you can’t change facts.”

“Do you know who this is?” you ask Tristan, gesturing towards Bucky.

He looks between you, James, and Bucky, trying to make the connection.

“Granddad's dad?” he ventures.

“Yeah, that’s right honey bun. Granddad's dad,” you explain.

“Why isn’t he old like you and granddad?” he asks, and Bucky’s glad when he hears you laugh, even though James tries to tell him that’s not a polite question.

“You remember at school when you learned about Captain America? Something similar happened,” you answer, to Bucky’s relief. That’s not a story he wants to tell a small child.

“You were frozen?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, because that’s not exactly a lie.

“Why is your arm made of metal?”

James tries to shush him again, but Bucky understands. The kid is curious. He would’ve been exactly the same at that age.

“I lost it in an accident,” Bucky says. “I can take it off if it’s scaring you.”

“You can take off your arm? That’s so cool, I wanna see!”

“Sorry about that,” a man with a moustache says, trying to steer the kid away. “He doesn’t quite understand that some questions are impolite.”

“I don’t mind,” Bucky reassures him. “I’d have a lot of questions if I was him.”

The kid could be standing on his balls and he’d still be over the moon.

“This is my son Michael and his wife Jessica,” James tells Bucky. “You already know, but this is my dad, James.”

“Bucky,” he says instinctively.

“Nice to meet you,” Bucky’s grandson and wife say in unison.

“Thank you for letting me hold your daughter,” he says, handing Samantha back to her wary mother.

Your hand strokes Bucky’s hair. It’s even softer than you remember it being. A shiver runs up his spine as he recalls that last night you spent together, how you’d stroked his hair then.

As soon as there’s space, Tristan clambers into Bucky’s lap, determined to monopolise the attention of this strange man with a metal arm.

“Metal granddad,” Tristan tells him, making Bucky laugh.

“Sure, you can call me that. Or you can call me Bucky,” he says, not really sure what the kid should call him. He’s still getting his head around James calling him dad.

Tristan tries to hug him in his tiny arms, face buried into Bucky’s chest.

“I love you, metal granddad,” he says.

“I love you too,” Bucky replies. It’s been decades since he’s heard those words said to him.

But now he sits surrounded by a small portion of his family, a family he never knew he had. Bucky’s overwhelmed by all these faces, so happy to see him at last. Now that he’s taken this first small step, he can’t wait to meet the others.

Even when he didn’t know who he was, he was loved.

“Mum never stopped loving you, none of us did,” James mumbles next to him, as if he can hear Bucky’s thoughts.

“I can see that,” he says with a smile, still cuddling Tristan.

“I guess you didn’t either,” James continues, “because you finally found us.”

If the monsters could see him now, they wouldn’t have nightmares about him. It’s a thought that makes Bucky very glad indeed.

#366songshots #Lancsnerd1kchallenge #Winter Soldier #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #Female reader

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lilith-lovett · 4 years

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Found Families - Home is Where the Hart is - Chapter Nineteen

New Chapter. Thank you for your support xx

Masterlist

Summary: Party preparations go underway and Logan begins to ask the question. ‘Do I really belong here?’

Word Count: 7320

Warnings: Past child abuse, food mention (literally half of this chapter is just me talking about food), anxiety, self-deprecation, implied depression, injury mention, past physical abuse, past psychological abuse, implied nightmares, implied panic attack, disordered eating (if there is anything I have missed please let me know).

The following days were devoted almost entirely to Roman’s birthday preparations. From the presents Logan and Virgil had chosen arriving, which they hid in Virgil’s wardrobe. To Patton spending almost the entire of the day, whilst Roman and Virgil were attending school, preparing all of the food necessary for Roman’s birthday party; miniature cupcakes, a selection of fruits and vegetables, prepared sandwiches with a variety of fillings each suited to the preferences of each child and what Patton believed to be the most important element…the birthday cake.

Logan struggled to comprehend the purpose of a specific birthday cake, decorated in candles - which also seemed to be a fire hazard - but Patton informed him of its significance, especially within the Hart household. Patton would make a special personalised birthday cake for each of his family members on their birthday and this time was no different so whilst Patton prepared the ingredients and baked the cake, Logan read to him the recipe. A red velvet cake as it was Roman’s favourite flavour. The found the recipe much easier to decipher now he was wearing his new glasses but had to keep Declan occupied and out of the kitchen to prevent him from disturbing the process and potentially injuring himself. Baking appeared to be a relatively simple science, with clear instructions to follow and specific apparatus to ensure the correct measurements in order to produce the desired flavour profiles, but given his limited experience with baking he chose to instead defer to Patton’s expertise and read to him the recipe to avoid any potential mistakes. However, keeping Declan engaged in anything for longer than a few moments was proving to be incredibly difficult. The toddler had an extremely limited attention span and it was consistently being drawn to Patton’s actions in the kitchen, presumably also due to the heavenly smell now being emitted from the oven where the cake was currently baking.

“Oh, Dee-Dee, how about you help me decorate the cupcakes?” Patton said lifting Declan from the floor, balancing the toddler on his hip as he brought him over to the dining room table where several piping bags of different coloured frosting where laid out, among various other edible decorations. “Do you want to decorate a couple too Logan?”.

“Okay,” Logan responded taking a seat at the dining room table, studying each of the individual decorations and vibrant colours of the icing - presumably created by the addition of various food colourings - considering potential combinations of colours and flavours that Roman would enjoy.

“Alright kiddo, go for it,” Patton said also taking a seat, balancing Declan on his lap so he could properly reach the table. “Now Dee-Dee, what colour do you want to make your cupcake?”.

“Lellow!” Declan exclaimed bouncing in Patton’s laps, slapping his mitten-cladded hands onto the table’s surface as Patton chuckled.

“That’s a great choice, Dee,” Patton responded picking up the piping bag containing the brightly coloured frosting, allowing Declan to squeeze it haphazardly onto the chocolate cake base, much of it splattering onto the table.

Logan looked to his own collection of undecorated miniature cakes, a selection of both chocolate and vanilla flavours. Initially, he thought of Roman - as it was for his birthday celebration - he decided on a vanilla base and the vivid crimson red frosting as from the vast amount of red he wore and decorated his room with, Logan made an educated guess that it was a colour he enjoyed. Logan found that controlling a piping bag was far more difficult than he expected, Patton had made it look simple, yet his first attempt was a sloppy mess. However, the more he practised and studied Patton’s technique the better his piping became and once he perfected the icing he ventured onto the decoration. Patton had provided a range of smaller confectionery to act as embellishments atop the cupcakes and Logan decided to continue with the ‘ornate’ motif for his cupcake - inspired by Roman - choosing a handful of multi-coloured circular candies and arranged them delicately atop the frosting, in addition to a strawberry slice acting as the centre piece. For Virgil’s specific cupcake, he selected a plain chocolate cake base and settled for the lilac coloured frosting as it was the closest in appearance to Virgil’s favourite shade of purple, evident from the frequent presence of it in his room and in his hoodie which he wore seemingly at all times. Logan’s spiral patterned piping work had significantly improved from his initial first attempt of ‘Roman themed’ cupcakes. The decorations he used were miniature pieces of different flavours of chocolate and topped with a single chocolate orange slice. He continued the process with Declan’s, using the limited amount of yellow coloured frosting remaining, topped with a significant quantity of multicoloured sprinkles, reminiscent of Declan’s own cupcakes he had decorated with Patton. Oh Patton. Logan had almost forget to make a cupcake for Patton. He considered his options very carefully. He desperately wanted Patton to like it. He chose a vanilla base and the lightest of the shades of blue frosting Patton had prepared, a pleasing sky blue. The piping work on the ‘Patton inspired’ cupcakes turned out the best in comparison to the rest of them, perhaps it was because of the particular care he put into making them perfect, as Patton was an avid baker he would surely notice any substandard work. Once the piping had been perfected, Logan selected simple tiny white chocolate stars as a decoration. As a finishing touch, he arranged each of the designs into their specific colour category, he had decorated three of each variety, giving him twelve cupcakes in total.

“Wow, kiddo, those look amazing!” Patton exclaimed in the process of decorating his own batch of cupcakes. Logan’s face flushed at the compliment

“Thank you, I took inspiration from Roman, Virgil, Declan…and you Patton, using your preferred colours and flavours in attempt to cater them to your specific tastes,” Logan explained his cheeks still coloured red from the praise.

“Aw Logan, that is precious. I’m sure everyone will love them,” Patton responded a blindingly bright smile stretched across his face. “How about you do one for yourself?”. He set the final chocolate cupcake down in front of Logan.

“That is unnecessary,” Logan stated quickly, this was an event for Roman and his family, he should be respectful and stay separate from the celebrations as much as possible. After all he didn’t wish to spoil Roman’s enjoyment. Logan got up and prepared to make his way over to the sink, where a pile of dirty dishes were building up.

“Why’s that?” Patton questioned and Logan found he didn’t have an answer. If he told Patton what he truly thought, he would immediately counter it, assuring him of his place within the family dynamic despite his short time spent with them. As that was the type of the person Patton was but Logan struggled to comprehend why so instead he chose to return to his seat. Perhaps one cupcake would be acceptable? And if it made Patton happy, he would do it.

Logan’s design was the most simple out of the lot. The same chocolate cake base as Virgil and Declan’s, atop of which was a simple, neat frosting swirl, in the darkest shade of blue icing Patton had prepared as it was the most akin to his favourite colour. He added no additional decorations as he did not wish to waste any of what Patton had prepared on himself so decided the plain design was satisfactory. Next, the cupcakes were placed into containers and properly stored in the refrigerator along with the rest of the food, to protect them from the early Summer heat and the two cake layers had just come out of the oven. A marvellous smell was emitted as the oven doors opened, faints notes of chocolate and a pleasant sweetness reached his nostrils. After allowing the cake tiers to cool enough where the frosting and decorations wouldn’t melt from the heat. Logan again attempted to entertain Declan with a child-friendly book whilst Patton iced and decorated Roman’s cake.

Preparations continued that night. Once Roman and Virgil had returned from school, they had all eaten dinner, ticked another Disney film off the list and Declan had gone to sleep, it was approaching nine in the evening. Roman had left for his room and just as Logan was planning to do do the same. Patton stopped him.

“Hey, Logan, I was wondering if you could distract Roman for a little while?” Patton asked in a hushed tone.

“Why is that necessary?” Logan questioned.

“Me and Virgil are going to decorate the living room and the kitchen for tomorrow and I want it to be a surprise for Roman,” Patton explained, that was when Logan noticed the container of brightly coloured streamers and a various other items, presumably for the purpose of decorating. He failed to comprehend why it was compulsory to embellish your surroundings dependant on the occasion, Maggie used to decorate her office for holidays such as Christmas or Halloween but birthdays were not considered to be national celebrations yet the same conditions seemed to apply.

“Alright, though how do you wish me to…distract him?” Logan inquired as far as he was aware he and Roman had very little in common, shared very few interests and had significantly conflicting personalities. How was he expected to entertain Roman for any length of time? Logan had rarely encountered Roman alone, unlike his several conversations with Virgil and Roman’s feelings towards Logan and his arrival remained undetermined.

“Get him to talk about himself, he loves that,” Virgil stated as he began to unpack his own box of decorations. Logan considered the suggestion, he would have to think of particular questions to pose but perhaps this task could be an opportunity to gain Roman’s favour and acquire more informations in regards to his specific likes and dislikes so too strengthen their bond.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Logan declared determined to assist in Patton and Virgil’s scheme wherever possible.

Logan found himself waiting outside Roman’s bedroom door. An all white door, embellished with a variety of brightly coloured stickers, depicting and referencing scenes and individuals he did not recognise, he noticed Virgil and Declan’s bedroom door contained similar appearing stickers which comparatively made his door appear far less interesting. He raised a fist to knock, questions prepared in his mind but the door burst open before he could, causing him to flinch back in surprise.

“Oh hey, specs,” Roman exclaimed as he opened the door, dressed rather strangely in what appeared to be a costume of sorts with a red sash draped across his chest. Perhaps this is what Virgil was referring to when he mentioned Roman liked to believe or pretend he was a prince? Logan noted the nickname Roman used, which appeared to be a common occurrence for both Roman and Virgil. He recognised the word used. ‘Specs’. It was an abbreviation of the word spectacles. So it may have been a reference to the fact he wore glasses. “Come in, welcome to mi habitación. That is Spanish for my room,”.

“You know Spanish?” Logan asked his surprise present in his tone as he entered.

“Yup, I want to become fluent,” Roman stated with a proud smirk. Foreign languages was a subject which has always interested Logan but due to the lack of resources available to him at the Orphanage, he never had the opportunity to learn, though he was surprised to discover Roman had a passion for the subject. “Now, I know you are here to distract me,”.

“Wh…I…I,” Logan stammered. Had he really been so obvious? Would Patton be disappointed? Was he so uninteresting that Roman couldn’t bare to be in his presence?

“I bet they are decorating for my birthday right now,” Roman stated collapsing onto his bed, laying on his back, glancing up towards the red fabric which hung over the dark wood bed frame as he spoke.

“How did you figure it out?” Logan questioned unsure of what else to say as he stood somewhat awkwardly in the centre of Roman’s bedroom.

“Last year, this was Virgil’s job. He was already mad at me for using some of his books to hold up my easel, so he just told me. He got really stressed out after, thinking I was going to tell on him,” Roman explained wildly gesturing to the air as he told his story. Logan certainly understood why Virgil would be upset by a complete violation of his personal property but thought it better not to voice this, allowing Roman to finish his tale. “But I didn’t, besides dad likes it to be a surprise so I let him think that I don’t know what he is doing,”.

So, Roman pretended to act surprised for Patton’s benefit. It was a kind sentiment. Patton evidently enjoyed the birthday preparations, as Logan noted from this heightened mood these past few days though particularly when doing an activity associated with the event of Roman’s birthday and perhaps Roman’s awareness or involvement would remove the joy from it?

“Now, as much as I enjoy your company microsoft nerd, you may leave now. I-I mean, if you wish,” Roman said sitting up and directing yet another dramatic arm movement towards his door but Logan did not failed to note the swift retraction of his previous statement.

“May I stay? It would help with the illusion, would it not?” Logan suggested after a moment of consideration. This was an opportunity for Logan and Roman to communicate and maybe it could lead to them having a better relationship.

“An excellent idea, if you left padre would surely notice,” Roman announced leaping up from his sitting position. “Now what can we do?”.

Roman continued to pace around his untidy room, experting weaving through the piles of his belongings which littered the floor, mumbling potential ideas for activities to do to maintain their façade. Logan watched him for a moment before focusing his attention onto the walls of the room. The majority of them were plastered with artwork, photographs, posters, pamphlets and tickets, some appeared to be well-worn and much loved while others were pristine in their condition, clearly only recently obtained. Logan suspected he could learn a lot about Roman’s identity and interests through studying his surrounding yet his limited knowledge of the world of the arts prevented him from gaining much.

“Roman, might I inquire about your posters?” Logan asked gesturing to the wall behind Roman’s desk which appeared to hold the largest quantity of them.

“Of course!” Roman exclaimed bounding over to where Logan was stood and immediately delved into an in depth and detailed explanation of the history of each individual piece. “They are mostly from shows I have been in or gone to see. That is the program of the first ever performance I did with my theatre group, it was Hairspray and I, of course, played the male lead. That is the poster for Wicked, that one is Les Miserables, Rent, Annie, The Lion King. I’ve also kept all of the signed programs of all the shows I have ever been in and the tickets too. Oh, here are the ones from when me and Elliott went to see Sister Act. It was incredible,”.

Roman’s rambling continued. Logan struggled to get a word in edgewise so he remained quiet, attempting to follow Roman’s constant stream of conciousness which he was finding incredibly difficult. He would jump from subject to subject, begin one sentence, then recall sometimes else and quickly switch to explaining that instead of the previous thought but Logan persisted. One musical in particular caught his attention. It was called Hamilton and tells the epic tale of one of America’s Founding Fathers Alexander Hamilton, in an unconventional manner and style. However, he did note the historical accuracy which surprised him as he expected it to be a work of over-dramatised fiction but Roman informed him otherwise. Roman also told him it was the musical he most wanted to see - among others - but the tickets were absurdly expensive and notorious for quickly selling out so he hadn’t gotten the opportunity too. So, he instead continuously played the musicals soundtrack, having listened to it so much he knew most of the lyrics of by heart and was able to perform them to a high-standard. Roman began to play the first couple of songs from the soundtrack and explained the different stylistic choices of the lyrics and and how they related to events which would occur later in the story. Logan was pleasantly surprised by Roman’s expansive knowledge of the history and story-telling tactics of the musicals he greatly enjoyed, he had yet to witness Roman so enamoured by anything but his enthusiasm when it came to his passions was admirable. He also noticed some distinct similarities between himself and Roman, particularly in the way he obsessed over certain topics. For Logan, it was science and literature and for Roman, it seemed it was his beloved musicals. Eventually Roman seemed to either run out of information to share or run out of air - which seemed to be the case considering the impressive speed of which he was talking - as he stopped talking to take several deep breaths before collapsing into the chair which sat by his desk.

“Sorry, I can talk a lot,” Roman said sheepishly as if embarrassed by his passion-fuelled outburst.

“It is quite alright, your passion it certainly commendable,” Logan said hoping to ease Roman’s worries somewhat but he only received a confused expression in response. “I-I mean…it is good you enjoy it so much,”.

“Oh, thanks. I know stuff like dancing and singing and acting are kind of girly but I really love it,” Roman admitted glancing towards the array of posters and memories upon his wall. The statement perplexed him, as far as Logan was aware specific activities were not gendered but perhaps it was a societal normality? He could recall several insentiences during his time spent in Orphanages were he and the other boys around him were expected to play and enjoy outdoor sports but he found he had no interest in doing so and was as such labelled as abnormal. Maybe, Roman had experienced something similar in the past which led to this thought-process?

“I do not believe specific activities are related to any one gender and if you find enjoyment in such a activity you should be allowed to participate despite your gender identity,” Logan stated as Roman stared at him for a moment before bursting into a fit of laughter, so much so he nearly fell out of his chair. However, Logan could not conceive how what he had said would cause such a reaction.

“You’re such a nerd,” Roman responded after managing to compose himself, a small smile on his lips so Logan assumed the comment was not meant to be perceived as a insult and was perhaps a term of endearment? He did not know. “Dad and Virge will be done with decorating by now,”

“Yes, I should be returning to the…my own room now. Goodbye Roman,” Logan said before turning to leave but he was interrupted by Roman.

“Hey specs, thanks,” Roman said quietly, in a tone he hadn’t heard Roman use until now. Logan didn’t know exactly why Roman was thanking him, maybe for the company but he nodded nonetheless and exited, returning to his room for a much required break from the constant activities and stimulation.

Logan was exhausted but he didn’t receive any more than a minute of silence before he was disturbed once again. This time by Virgil, asking him if he wished to join himself and Patton downstairs to wrap Roman’s presents for tomorrow. Despite his desperate desire to refuse, he accepted, not wishing to appear ungrateful of their acceptance and treatment of him so far. Logan was terrified of doing anything wrong. What if he refused a request and Patton realised the mistake he made in allowing Logan into his home and family, just like the couple before him? So Logan followed Virgil downstairs, to see the living room and kitchen decorated in bright red balloons and streamers dangling from the ceiling. A large red banner decorated with small golden crowns, reading ‘Happy 13th Birthday Prince Roman’ stretched across the archway, separating the living room and kitchen and an elaborate centrepiece display on the dining room table. Patton sat cross-legged in the middle of the living room floor, surrounded by boxes, a variety of brightly coloured and patterned wrapping paper - the majority of which were in Roman’s favoured colour red, a couple pairs of scissors and cello tape. Patton face broke into a grin the moment he set his eyes on Logan.

“Hey kiddo, how was your talk with Roman?” Patton asked with a bright smile stretched across his face as Logan and Virgil also sat on the floor.

“It was very informative,” Logan responded unsure of how else to describe it while also maintaining the illusion that Roman was unaware of the work being done downstairs.

“Aw, I’m glad. Now, let’s wrap these presents!” Patton announced with a giggle.

They created efficient system, in which they each had their own job for optimum productivity. Logan, cut the paper - a shiny red one free of any patterns or designs - as he could most accurately guess the amount of wrapping paper that would be required for each item and would produce the least amount of waste. The paper was a very satisfying texture, however, the potential danger surrounding the incredibly sharp scissors did made him feel uneasy but Patton demonstrated such a way in which the risk of Logan accidentally harming himself was greatly limited. Patton was responsible for the wrapping the presents as he was evidently superior at it compared to himself - who had never physically wrapped a present before - and Virgil - who was far to scared of possibly ruining it - Patton’s expert wrapping produced clean edges and smooth finish. Finally, Virgil added the finishing touches such as the addition of a gold ribbon securing each of the gifts and a personalised message detailing who the present was from. A short while later, they were completely finished and the pile of presents were added to the display on the table.

“All done, we are now completely ready for Roman’s birthday. Now, all that is left to do is wait,” Patton proclaimed raising his arms in a stretch. “Oh, I forgot to tell you Logan. Emile’s parents Dot and Larry are coming over for Roman’s party tomorrow. Do you think you will be okay to meet them?”.

Logan considered this for a moment. He was aware Patton had purposefully kept Roman, Virgil and Declan’s ‘grandparents’ from visiting to allow Logan time to adjust but he felt conflicted by the action. On my hand, he appreciated the act as moving into Patton’s house was an enormous change and the whole process had been extremely overwhelming so far, also he knew very little about them and as such could not speculate how they would react to him. What if they hated him? What if they wanted Patton to return him? Would he? But on the other hand, Patton had kept them from visiting their ‘grandchildren’ for Logan’s benefit and comfort. Would they resent him for that? Logan certainly wouldn’t blame them but his future in Patton’s family entirely depended on their opinion of him which depended on their first meeting tomorrow and the thought of that terrified him.

“Yes, I-I would like to meet them,” Logan said a slight stutter to his word which if Patton noticed he did not mention it.

“Okay, I will let them know,” Patton said standing from the seated position on the floor and walking just out of ear-shot.

“You’ll get to meet Elliott tomorrow too,” Virgil stated he had moved to lean against the couch, whilst remaining sat on the floor, looking at something on his cellular device. “He’s Roman’s best friend but Roman also has a super obvious crush on him,”.

“A crush?” Logan repeated confusion present in his tone, having never have heard of the term being used in that particular context which seemed to be becoming a frequent theme when communicating with either Roman or Virgil.

“Yeah, you know, like he likes him,” Virgil said waving a hand absently for emphasis. “Like, like likes him,”.

“Oh, I think I understand,” Logan said. He didn’t. But perhaps, he could ask Patton later?

“Cool, so yeah, he keeps on denying it but I know he is lying,” Virgil said returning his attention once again to his phone. While Logan did not understand what exactly a ‘crush’ was, he knew it must trouble Roman and could perhaps be a risk to his friendship with Elliott, maybe it was for the best he didn’t press the subject to Roman himself.

Following their brief conversation Logan and Virgil fell into a comfortable silence. Logan discarded the minimal amount of scrap wrapping paper whilst Virgil put away the cello-tape and scissors in their correct location before Virgil decided to return to his room for the night. Logan was just about to do the same until Patton returned from his phone-call, sitting next to where Logan was sat on the couch.

“That is everything ready for tomorrow, Dot and Larry are so excited to finally meet you,” Patton said with a bright smile but Logan could not return it, the pit of anxiety developing in his abdomen only grew more impossible to ignore and a dangerous swirl of thoughts caused carnage within his head. He was going mess up. He was going to to ruin everything

Why was Logan like this? Nothing was objectively wrong. Everything had been going fine but his treacherous brain immediately made him feel like he was going to die. But he couldn’t let Patton see. Tomorrow was supposed to a celebration for Roman. Logan would only ruin things with his complaints. Patton had already given him so much and he was so grateful, him acting selfishly would only lead to Patton witnessing his true self. The broken one. The unlovable one. Perhaps he could hold on a little longer? Remain quiet, avoid disturbing Patton’s family while he searched for a way to repay Patton for his kindness. And then…well he didn’t know. Logan hated not knowing.

“Hey Logan, are you alright? You look like you are million miles away,” Patton asked wearing an expression of concern across his face.

“I am quite alright, I am merely tired. I think I may retire for the night,” Logan responded hoping Patton wouldn’t press him any further.

“Okay kiddo, sleep well,” Patton said all manner of concern melting from his expression and forming into a smile.

“Goodnight,” Logan said before disappearing to his room, swiftly before all of the stress and anxiety burst out of him.

Logan, the second he entered his room, scoured his drawers for his jumper. He tore of his constrictive shirt replacing it with the soft material. He lowered himself onto the edge of his bed, digging his nails into his thighs, revelling in the pain this brought. Why? Why was Logan like this? He should be better. He should be over this. His mother and father were no longer watching over him and criticising his every move, denying him the most basic of necessities for failing to be any less than perfect. Madame Claire was no longer tormenting him mentally and physically for her own sick, twisted enjoyment. Patton had saved him from that yet the fear which gripped him was unyielding. The intrusive what ifs burrowed deep into his mind and grew like a parasite, torturing him, destroying all trust he had in those around him and even in himself. Logan was so terrified of Patton realising the colossal mistake he had made in ever choosing to approach Logan that day. He wondered where would he be now if Patton hadn’t been there? Another Orphanage likely or perhaps Madame Claire would have gotten tired of him and thrown him out on the search for being such a burden. It was moments like these where he desperately desired the sharp sting of his father knife or the dull ache of the bruises Madame Claire left behind, to drown out the racing of his mind, to remind him of his place.

Maybe he shouldn’t attend Roman’s celebration tomorrow. Logan’s absence surely wouldn’t be noted and it would probably please Roman. Why would he want a someone who was virtually a stranger to attend his personal celebration?

Logan lay down on his side, reaching pitifully for the soft toy resting on his pillow and clutched it tight to his chest as if it could mend the hurt inside. He used its paw to wipe away the tears he had failed to hold in before slipping into a disturbed and restless slumber.

Patton awoke bright and early. It was the day of Roman’s 13th birthday and he was determined to make it the best one yet, it was also Logan’s first official celebration with them as a family and despite it being Roman’s birthday, he wanted to make a special experience for Logan too. Emile would be arriving along with his parents Dot and Larry at around ten and then Thomas told him he would be dropping off Elliott at eleven just before the super awesome birthday lunch he had prepared, the reveal of the birthday cake and the various activities he had planned. It was also the day for Logan to meet Dot and Larry, the honorary grandparents as they dubbed themselves, Patton had wanted to allow Logan time to settle in before he was bombarded with more new faces but Logan agreed that he was finally ready to meet them and they were ecstatic. They had already heard all about Logan from their frequent phone calls and had fallen in love with him just as Patton had when he first met him. Speaking of Logan, he would surely already be awake and waiting for Patton at the breakfast table

Patton dressed quickly and made his way downstairs careful not to wake Roman, Virgil or Declan who were all still sleeping soundly. Patton journeyed downstairs but instead of Logan waiting at the dining table, book in hand, he was met with an empty kitchen. Logan didn’t appear to be up yet which took him a bit by surprise as he knew Logan adhered to a strict schedule no matter the day or occasion. Perhaps, all of the late nights had finally wore him down and he was sleeping in? Or maybe, he was waiting for Roman to awakened, Patton hadn’t told him of the scheduling for the day so he might have thought the days events wouldn’t begin until Roman awoke. They were all suitable explanations for Logan’s unusual absence, so he continued on as usual, preparing the mornings extra special breakfast specifically for Roman’s birthday. Super fluffy pancakes and every potential topping you could think of, it was Roman’s favourite food and he would always request it every birthday or special occasion. It was only a short while later when Roman, Virgil and Dee came bounding down the stairs to the heavenly smell of pancakes wafting throughout the house.

“Happy birthday, my darling prince,” Patton exclaimed wrapping Roman in the biggest and warmest dad hug he could muster, pressing kisses into his fluffy bed-head, evidently too excited for the days events ahead to do his daily hair care routine. “You are so big now, you are growing up too fast,”.

“Thank you, padre,” Roman responded allowing himself to melt into Patton’s arms, even though he was officially a teenager, dad hugs were never off limits. Roman, Virgil and Dee sat at the table, preparing to tuck into their extra special birthday breakfast but something or rather someone was missing.

“Where is Logan?” Patton asked attempting to mask the concern in his voice.

“I knocked on his door but he didn’t answer, think he might be still asleep,” Virgil answered his voice his still heavy from sleep as he yawned.

“Oh okay, well, let’s let him sleep for a little longer,” Patton said taking his own seat at the table. “I’ll wake him after breakfast,”.

The boys seemed to accept that answer as they quickly tucked into their pancake buffet. Patton selected a couple of smaller ones for Dee, allowing him complete reign of the decorations and jars of crofters jam. Usually he didn’t allow them to have this much sugar and encouraged a healthy and balanced diet but today was a special occasion so sweet treats were mandatory. Dee’s picky eating had certainly been a challenge in the beginning, as he refused nearly everything that was put in front of him but pancakes were a favourite of all of the Hart children. Virgil had gone simple with his pancake, a small drizzling of golden syrup, Patton knew he struggled to eat large quantities of food in the morning but was just happy he was eating, recalling a time when Virgil was considerably underweight and though he was still only the skinny side they had made a lot of progress. Roman’s pancake was the most elaborate; chopped strawberries, drizzled with syrup and decorated with spirals of whipped cream, while eyeing the pile of presents at the end of the table. Patton smiled at his children’s antics but couldn’t help but feel somewhat saddened by the fact that Logan was missing out but a healthy sleep schedule was more important. Once breakfast had been finished, Patton had managed to keep a few pancakes for Logan and the dishes were all cleaned and put away. Roman, Virgil and Dee had all settled on the couch to watch some cartoons while Patton went to fetch Logan.

Patton arrived at Logan’s door, a strange sense of nervousness washed over him. What if Logan wasn’t feeling well? What if Patton was pushing him too much and he recoiled into his shell again? He couldn’t hear any noise from behind the door so perhaps Logan really was still asleep and he was simply exhausted from yesterdays preparations. He knocked once and then once more. After a moment of silence, Patton tried the handle but the door was locked. Why was the door locked? When Patton had checked on Logan last night the door was unlocked, so he had to have purposefully locked it when he woke up this morning. But why would Logan do that? Unless something had happened and he was deliberately hiding.

“Logan, I know you’re awake. Can you let me in please?” Patton pleaded while debating how he could feasibly break down the door without alarming Logan, if he refused. After yet another moment of silence, Patton prepared to speak again but the locked clicked open before he could yet the door remained closed. “Oh thank god, okay kiddo, I am going to come in now,”.

Patton gingerly opened the door into the darkened room, the only light source being the desk lamp. He saw Logan sat at his desk, hunched over a stack of thick textbooks and was writing notes into one of his notebooks. Patton knew Maggie had given him a variety of textbooks to keep up with his studies while he wasn’t in school or regularly attending lessons, it was also evident that he enjoyed learning and working on new projects, Patton was happy Logan had something to do to keep himself occupied while Roman and Virgil were at school and Patton was working from home. But, he was surprised to find Logan studying this early and on Roman’s birthday, today was supposed to be a day of fun and celebration yet Logan was working. Clearly something was wrong.

“Are you alright kiddo, you weren’t at breakfast this morning?” Patton asked taking a seat on the edge of Logan’s bed so he could finally see his face. Logan’s unkempt hair was slick with sweat, his fringe almost entirely obscured his eyes but from the small section Patton could see it was evident he hadn’t slept well at all. A dark shadow played beneath his eyes which were swollen and bloodshot as if he had been crying. The sight made Patton’s heart cry out in pain.

“I am satisfactory, I also seem to not have much of an appetite this morning that is why I chose not to attend breakfast,” Logan answered nonchalantly, without removing his attention from his work in front of him but he was betrayed by his own stomach as it let out a well-timed growl, proving the contrary but it only worsened the pain Patton felt. Why was Logan purposefully hurting himself? He was clearly hungry so why was he pretending?

“You need to eat something Logan, I’m going to bring you something to eat. I promise I’ll be quick,” Patton said standing and leaning over to Logan to place a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaving and returning with a plate of two slices of bread with crofters - as he knew it was something Logan liked - to find Logan had moved from his desk to sitting on the edge of his bed, all of his books and notes neatly put away. “Here, now eat up,”.

They spent the next few minutes in silence while Logan ate, meticulously tearing the bread into smaller pieces before eating. Patton hoped Logan’s evident hunger would encourage him to eat the entire sandwich but that was not the case as he set the plate aside with an entire slice remaining on his plate - albeit torn into tiny sections - Patton knew at some point they would need to have a discussion regarding Logan’s strange and at time worrisome eating habits but he decided to leave that conversation for another day.

“Will you be joining the party today?” Patton asked hoping to draw Logan out slowly.

“No, I wont,” Logan responded bluntly and without a moment of hesitation. Patton was confounded. Why? Logan had participated and shown in enjoyment in the entire preparation process but now he was choosing not to join? Had Patton perhaps missed something, some sign Logan had been uncomfortable at whole time and Patton had been simply to stupid and wrapped up in his own fantasy to notice?

“Can you tell me why?” Patton pressed.

“I-I…I do not wish to spoil Roman’s or anyone else’s enjoyment of the celebrations, I am still a stranger and I do not wish to be a disturbance to your family on this occasion so I decided to instead keep to myself though it appears my efforts have had the opposite affect and I am taking attention away from Roman,” Logan explained his voice barely audible but once Patton heard his reasoning his heart sank. Logan was purposefully isolating himself because he thought it would be for their benefit. He still believed himself to be an outsider or an intruder on their family and they wouldn’t want him to be apart of family events and celebrations. Tears stung Patton’s eyes but he refused to allow them to fall, he needed to remain strong for Longer right now.

“Can you look at me please Logan?” Patton pleaded which Logan did so willingly. He looked so exhausted. Patton cupped his cheeks gently while also giving him space to withdraw if he wished but he didn’t. “Logan, you are not a stranger, you are apart of this family. It doesn’t matter that you have only been here a couple of weeks, you are still my son and that won’t ever change. You aren’t spoiling or disturbing anything and you certainly aren’t taking away attention from anyone, it isn’t bad or wrong if you need a little reassurance sometimes and I promise I want you here and I know everyone else does too,”.

“B-but…,” Logan began preparing to attempt to counter Patton argument.

“Nope, no buts. You are my apart of my famILY, kiddo,” Patton said his serious tone washing away bursting into his fit of giggles, when Logan’s prior anxious expression changed into one of confusion at Patton’s statement. “How are you feeling now?”.

“Better, I am still experiencing some levels of anxiety but it has lessened somewhat,” Logan admitted raising a tentative hand to his chest and Patton noticed he was wearing the constellation sweater he had picked out on their shopping trip a few days prior and Patton felt his heart swell with pride.

“I’m glad kiddo, now everyone is waiting for you downstairs,” Patton said lowering his hands from Logan’s face and instead taking his hands into his own, giving them a light squeeze as Logan nodded allowing Patton to pull him up and lead him downstairs where the party could finally begin.

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#sander sides #sander sides au #Adoption AU #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #symapthetic deceit #thomas sanders #Emile Picani #cartoon therapy #elliott cartoon therapy #Dot and Larry cartoon therapy #my writing #my fic #original characters #found families #home is where the hart is

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