#value so you should give up' so at least she could hate him!!!!!!

[allroundher]

writing A Reply and thinking about how penny has probably at some point asked tom to just pick a side because he's always flip-flopping on his support for her when they're around their granddad. and eventually it's at the point where she's like "i don't even care if you side with him, i just wish you'd settle on something" and it is by far the most exhausting convo she ever has with tom.

#truly i think few things get to penny like tom turning around and saying something shitty to her #and i do think when their granddad is out of the picture they do actually get on really well #which is why it hurts so much when he kind of does a total flip and changes his tune to start parroting the same shit their granddad says #one day he'll be celebrating with her and another he'll be telling her the women's game is a pale imitation of the men's #and it's OOF and it's always OOF and she'd really rather he just decided to settle on 'your career is stupid and a waste of time and has no #value so you should give up' so at least she could hate him!!!!!! #hc. #hc. general.

[daffodildelight]

Animagus (Part One) | Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Title: Animagus (Part One)

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x fem!reader

Summary: The end of year ball is coming up and you have hidden feelings for Ominis

Themes/Warnings: fluff, mutual pining, insecurities

Word count: 2450sh

A/N: No spoilers for Hogwarts Legacy. The story line for Hogwarts Legacy doesn’t really exist in this one-shot.  

Growing up in a pure-blooded family is quite challenging when you have different political views compared to everyone else. Especially when it comes to blood status, having different beliefs and voicing them in front of a pureblooded family will give you a one-way ticket to abuse. Mentally and physically. I’ve seen it happen to my cousin first-hand, left for dead on an abandoned street corner then endlessly stalked and ridiculed for the rest of her life.

Luckily I learnt my lesson quickly after my parents used the crustaceous curse on me when I was 5 after I tried to make friends with the muggle kids at the end of the culdesac. Even with the worst pain of my life, I never changed my beliefs.

For the first 11 years of my life, I was completely alone. Anyone who comes into the Crouch house was of pure blood with the same ideologies as everyone else. The only friends I was allowed to make were ones from a prestigious line. Unfortunately for me, every child was stuck up so making friends was very hard. But once I had received my letter from Hogwarts I knew my life would change.

-

Along with everyone else in my family, I was sorted into Slytherin. I received a letter of praise from my parents after they found out about the news. But the only thoughts running through my head were ones of solemn because if I had to deal with blood ideologies at home I'd have to deal with them a whole lot more at school seeing as Slytherin house was mainly for pureblood students.

Heading to your new doom room you were introduced to your new roommates including your future best friend Anne Sallow. The two of you were like a house on fire, getting along so well. It surprised you to find out that Anne also held the same values as you and was also pureblooded. You and Anne got on so well that she introduced you to her twin brother Sebastian and his friend Ominis.

When you first met Ominis you fell for him, he was so handsome. Doesn’t matter that he couldn’t see all that mattered was the presence you felt from him. It looked like he could carry himself and wouldn’t let anything get in his way. You knew you had to be his friend at least.

But Ominis took a while to open up to you, Sebastian on the other hand took to you just as well as his sister did. It took months for you to connect with Ominis, you tried everything. But every time you tried to connect with him he would either walk away or look in another direction. It was only when you found out that Ominis was a Gaunt (descendant from Slytherin himself) and that you both hated your families for their views he began to trust you and consider you a friend. And just like that, you guys became a closed group.

-

7 years have passed and instead of liking Ominis, you have come to describe it closer to love. You would sit next to each other in classes, study together, and hang out every day how could you not? Sebastian and Anne both know I have a crush on Ominis and try push me to tell him my feelings but your overwhelming anxiety won’t let you. Because if you do tell him and he rejects you things will never be the same again. Plus he’s never given you any indication that he likes you in that way so you just leave it how it is. But Sebastian and Anne will not let it go.

“Come on (Y/N), he totally likes you back” Anne groans walking down the staircase with her book bag strung across her body she gives you a death glare “You’ll have to tell him sooner or later” she states with the same scowl on her face.

You speak up loudly so both Sebastian and Anne could hear “Over my dead body Anne, why ruin something when it’s already perfect?” colliding shoulders with Sebastian who is on your left. “Because (Y/N) we want to see both you and Ominis happy” Sebastian chimes in with his signature smile.

“But I am happy” you laughed. Swinging your arms around and jumping from the last few steps of stairs into the hallway of the great hall. “Okay now be quiet, Ominous is up ahead and he can hear very well” you whisper to both of them.

You walk up to him and touch his shoulder to grab his attention, he turns around to give you that winning smile that you love so much. “Good morning (Y/N) how was your sleep last night?” Ominis asks while making his way towards the potions classroom making sure to have his wand out and leave room for you to walk next to him. “Very good Ominis, I had a dream about animals last night” you replied with a jump in my step. You love it when Ominis talks to you about your dreams, it makes it seem like he cares about me. Sebastian and Anne follow us closely behind making small talk about the up coming N.E.W.T for charms class.

“That's good (Y/N), I’m happy that your finally getting sleep” Ominis states but before I could ask a question back Sebastian speaks from behind your shoulder. “I could’ve guessed that miles away (Y/N) you’re so predictable” Sebastian laughs before knocking your shoulder with his. You give a sinister giggle back before making your way down another long corridor and turning your head to face the twins, “I am not predictable Sebastian”.

Anne lets out a huge laugh before sliding in between you and Ominis “Oh yes you are (Y/N)! We know you so well, we could probably predict what your gonna have for dinner tonight and what results you’ll get for your N.E.W.T.s”.

You can’t help but think about all the things your best friends don't know about you. Starting off with the biggest secret which is that you're an illegal animagus. Yes, you became an illegal animagus for many reasons the main one being to get away from your crazy family during the Christmas holiday. The second is to explore my surroundings around Hogwarts without being caught and the third is to obviously spy on other people which is easy because your animagus is a tabby cat, which is a common house pet choice amongst others.

You decided to become an animagus after having a transfiguration lesson in your third year about it and became curious, So you read up on how to do it in the library every night for 3 months before you were sure how to do it. The process was painful to complete but in the end, it was worth it because I finally had my own freedom.

Now the reason I haven’t told anyone is that I wanted to keep it to myself. Yes I know if the Ministry of Magic finds out that I’m an illegal animagus I could be expelled or worse go to Azkaban but, to be frank, I couldn’t give a shit. That’s a lie I would care a little bit especially if I couldn’t meet up with my friends anymore.

Focusing back on the conversation you respond to Sebastian with a groan and a “whatever” muttered under your breath. Quickly look towards Ominis he has a small smirk showing and you can’t help but wonder if you could ever be able to have him more as a friend.

-

The day slowly finishes with you and the group eating dinner at the great hall. Sebastian and Anne sitting next to each other bickering about who gets the last chicken wing and opposite them are you and Ominis. Anne lets out a loud groan when Sebastian ends up taking the last wing into his mouth, which soon turns into glee when she remembers an important event happening in the upcoming month.

“Are you guys excited for the end-of-year ball after N.E.W.Ts?” she exclaims in her seat. Anne couldn’t contain her excitement which was proven when she starts pestering Sebastian on who he’s gonna take as a date. You can’t help but feel dread about the upcoming ball, because all you want is for Ominis to ask you but that’s not gonna happen because he doesn’t see you that way. It would hurt too much to see him with someone else on his arm as well and Anne isn’t making this any easier.

‘’Who are you gonna take to the ball Ominis? I know you have a few ladies eyeing you up!” Anne gives you a look and wiggles her eyebrows. You know she’s up to something. Ominis speaks up from his spot next to you “Well the person I want to ask will say no so I’m just gonna go by myself.”

Your heart breaks, of course, the person Ominis likes wouldn’t be you but the fact that he likes someone and thinks he doesn’t have a chance is ridiculous. All you want is for Ominis to be happy so the next set of words is like venom to say. “Don’t be stupid Ominis, anyone would be lucky to have you. I say just grit your teeth and ask them. If they decline tell me who they are and I’ll punch their lights out” you give a forced laugh.

You don’t want to know who this lucky person is because you’ll just end up self-deprecating and end up going into a deep depression. So to save yourself you decided to have a walk in the forbidden forest in your animagus. Just so you can take your mind off things. Before Ominis or the twins could say something you stand up from the table and announce yourself. “I’ve got some extra studying I gotta do before the charms N.E.W.Ts comes, I'll be in the library.” you sigh collecting your things from under the table. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow?” you give the best tone you possibly could before bolting out the doors without looking back.

Heading towards the edge of the forest was a bit difficult because you have to avoid all the teachers and prefects patrolling the castle but never the less you made it towards a clearing. Taking off your shoes and hiding them behind a familiar tree you were ready to transform. During the first times of transforming it was very painful but now you have grown accustomed to it, and there you were a brown tabby heading into the woods for a walk to keep your mind off things.

Minutes turned into an hour and slowly you started making your way back towards the castle. Taking long lonely stairs and corridors back towards the Slytherin common room until you come across the very thing that’s keeping your mind racing. Ominis sneaks around with his wand held high to avoid objects. My guess is he was just at the undercroft with Sebastian.

Now you know you shouldn’t have done this but every bit of your instinct told you to because you were feeling down and Ominis loves cats. Slyly you walk up to his right ankle you give him a bit of a nudge. This gains his attention and reaches down to scratch behind your ear perfectly, Ominis was actually the most perfect person ever. It felt like heaven and before you know it you rolled onto your back to let him give you some much-needed belly rubs. All of a sudden gravity changes and now Ominis is holding you in his arms with your head slotted into his neck. He smells so good and you never want to leave this moment but with all good things, it must come to an end when Sebastian is quietly yelling at Ominis.

“Hurry up Ominis! Professor Weasley is just around the corner!” Sebastian then runs past us down the last corridor door towards the Slytherin common rooms. Ominis follows him with me still in his arms and we make our way into his and Sebastian's door room. You’ve never once seen their dorm room before because of the protective enchantments from the professors but it was basically the same set-up.

“Ominis! Why are you still carrying the cat!” Sebastian stated loudly while Ominis puts me on his bed. “I don’t know, I panicked and just went straight for the dorms like you told me to?” Ominis replies nonchalantly while giving me more pats. I couldn’t be happier. “You know that’s someone's cat right? You’ll have to give them back” Sebastian ruins the mood.

“I know” Ominis sighs in defeat. “I'll keep them for another 5 minutes before I kick them out” he states in a sarcastic tone. Ominis moves his way around onto the bed to give me some more pats.

“I know who your gonna ask to the ball Ominis, she will say yes if you ask. I don’t understand why you won’t.” Sebastian brings up the topic. The one I didn’t want to be brought up while I was here, now I have to listen to Ominis talk about the girl of his dreams while I'm right here unable to leave. A dream turned into a nightmare.

“She’s never given me any indication that she likes me, I don’t want to ask and be rejected because it’ll ruin the flow of our friendship and I can’t risk that” Ominis states in a sad tone. Friendship? Ominis only has 3 friends, unless he’s made a friend without me knowing. Or worse he has feelings for Anne. Your heart struck a nerve just even thinking about it. You wouldn’t blame him for liking her, she’s so carefree and her personality is so attractive. How could he ever like me when she was right there?

“Ominis I know that you’re blind but how can you not see that she’s practically in love with you?” Sebastian sighs. The feeling of heartbreak is what’s going through you right now, you just feel like leaving. Hopping off of Ominis's bed you walk towards the door but not before a life-changing comment was made by Ominis.

“Gotta love those blind jokes Sebastian but (Y/N) could never see me in that way. She could have any witch or wizard she wanted. I mean why would she want a blind boyfriend when she could have anyone? Even then, she doesn’t see me in that context” Silence. Absolute silence. Silence from Ominis because he thinks he’ll never get a chance. Silence from Sebastian because I swore him to secrecy not to tell Ominis I have feelings for him. Silence from me because I think my heart stop.

You knew the one thing you had to do and nothing will get in your way this time.

#ominis #ominis gaunt #ominis gaunt fluff #ominis gaunt fanfiction #ominis gaunt smut #ominis gaunt angst #gaunt #hogwarts #hogwarts legacy #ominous #ominous gaunt #ominous gaunt fanfiction #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow fluff #sebastian sallow smut #sebastian sallow angst #anne sallow #sebastian #anne #sallow #anne sallow fluff #anne sallow fanfiction #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #ominis is the love of my life atm

[drconstellation]

Taking Things At Face Value

This post is dedicated to all those Ninas out there, who are "just enjoying the show."

I have been pondering an problem that had come up for a second time in another meta I'm writing (I left it out of an earlier one for clarity) regarding acknowledgement of identity and faces in S2, but when you keep running into the same road-block, you have to tackle it head on. Then I ran into the exact same problem a third time here, and the beginnings of this meta has sat in my drafts file staring at me for several weeks while I've been doing other things. But finally, finally, the answer has come to me, while being kept awake by a passing thunderstorm at 1.30am.

MRS SANDWICH: You're a good lad. CROWLEY: I'm not actually, either. But thank you.

Let's start with this exchange between Crowley and Mrs Sandwich, after Crowley has led all the Whickber St shopkeepers out of the ball to apparent safety. She calls him a "good lad," and he denies it, but thanks her anyway, and gives her a charming smile. We all know Crowley hates being called 'nice' and the last time he did something 'good' he got dragged down to Hell for punishment, so it seems like an odd thing to happen.

But the thing is, while Mrs Sandwich is complimenting his actions, he is responding about his appearance - that is neither 'good' (i.e. he is a demon) or a male human (i.e. he is an supernatural non-gendered entity.)

At this point you might be going "yeah, yeah, we know, we get that! Move along op..." but this matters, as you soon will see. We should also note that neither Crowley or Aziraphale judge Mrs Sandwich for being a brothel madame (how Aziraphale does not know this when her shop is just over the road from his I will never fathom, but there you go) and Crowley is actually quite charming all-round to his parallel character (prostitution and demons going hand-in-hand - er, not literally. But they went out the door as the vanguard arm-in-arm, though.)

The Metatron turning up at the bookshop in person is the next scene on the cards. Firstly, archangel Michael doesn't recognize him, but Saraqael obviously does.

Now, I know I'm guilty of saying that Michael may have had their memory adjusted at some time, but I'm going to suggest something else at this point. Saraqael knows who this is, because they have just had a fresh reminder from watching the recordings of Gabriel with Crowley and Muriel. And Saraqael is a pretty smart angel, so lets give them some leeway on this one. But for Michael, well, they are in the same situation as Aziraphale. They have only seen the Metatron as giant floating head without a body, so don't associate him with this appearance before them, and also because he has a beard.

Just before you jump on me and say "But he had one in the recordings!" yes, yes, I know. Two things, though, I want to bring to your attention: angels are not supposed to have facial hair,* and he doesn't have any in S1 (I checked!) and he also makes the comment "This calls for much less attention, though." Yeah, well a giant head floating through the streets of Soho would be quite a sight, wouldn't it, even though they had already been treated to the view of Gabriel's royal rear-end. Aziraphale had only met him once before, as a giant floating head in S1E4 who had had to introduce himself, so we could surmise this is Michael's problem as well, even though they were at Gabriel's trial. This is backed up by a tumblr ask/answer from NG as well, where he said "I think because they normally see him as a giant floating head, and not as a little man in a raincoat."

MICHAEL: Um, and who are you? METATRON: For Heaven's sake. And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? Well, uh, what about you? Demon? Do you know me?

Demon. That is what the Metatron chooses to call Crowley in that company, and we know in hindsight that he knows Crowley's name - as does Uriel, and Gabriel. Even Muriel learns it. But they don't use it, at least not in S2.

Even more notable is that the archangels don't deign to him give the respect of using his chosen name at all. He's not not even their enemy at this point - he's beneath their notice altogether, even though they are in the same room. Only Aziraphale seems to acknowledge his existence, instinctively trying to reach out to him as he passes by.

To Nina, people are coffee preferences.

To Mrs Sandwich, they are desires that need servicing.

So then question I had, and that stopped me, was why did both Crowley and Gabriel question Beelzebub about their new face?

It stood out to me because you don't normally make an obvious comment about the change of actor for a character, and to do it twice - !! You can't ignore that. No meta writer should ignore that. There is a trope term for this, actually, called "lampshading," which means to intentionally call attention to an incongruent situation within a story before moving on, but in a show where nothing is an accident, this seems a bit trite to me. Eventually I realized that this was the whole crux of the problem to me - that while we all too readily take things at face value, its not the faces that really influence us, its our internal values.

In the case of Beelzebub, Crowley recognizes the demon, their power, and their identity via the flies without any doubt; he merely comments on the change of exterior appearance. In terms of value, he knows straight away he's dealing with someone dangerous, no matter what they look like. Gabriel, on the other hand, is judging the book by its cover, and because he doesn't recognize the new cover, he needs proof of which demon he's dealing with, or maybe if they are even a demon at all.

"Bravo," says Nina, "Just enjoying the show." She's already seen a few that week, not to mention just in the general flow of life as a shop owner involved with customer service. If you've had any sort of life in a customer service role I'm sure you've got a few stories you could tell of things you've seen or experienced as well! I know I can.

The conversation between Nina and Crowley after Aziraphale walks away is amusing for all the assumptions Nina makes about them based on what she's observed that week, but also because Crowley tells the truth every in every reply to Nina, and yet she still has no idea what he's really saying. But her judgements, based on her experience and values, still manage to drop the proverbial ton of bricks on his head so badly he slinks off to sooth himself with some alcohol while he thinks about it instead of catching up with Aziraphale to continue being the angel's nameless shadow.

This problem with judging people on previous experience and not on who they actually are is everywhere in S2.

It's Ennon treating Aziraphale, an angel he's never met before, as a slut.

It's Elspeth judging Aziraphale on his accent.

It's Mrs H. giving a powerful demon a blistering tongue-lashing because she thinks he's a just simple human black marketeer.

It's Crowley refusing to call Gabriel "Jim" because he believes Gabriel is faking it.

...and so on. These are just a few examples. I'm sure you can spot a few more.

Which brings us back around to the meeting of the supernatural Councils in the bookshop in S2E6 and Crowley's "invisibility" to the other angels and demons gathered there. A demon to the archangels, an arch-traitor to the demons, why would they want to acknowledge him? Once he restores Gabriel, he becomes rank-less and faceless to them because they don't need him any more - its basically an act of celestial racism.

Nina and Maggie don't really know any better, they still think Mr Crowley and Mr Fell are just, well, "partners." OK, so maybe they've been doing some weird shit the last few days manipulating things in the neighbourhood but they're still obviously a couple a group of the two of them in their human eyes - and neither do they seem to care that they seem to be mlm, either. No judgement there.

A number of times I've seen ops say they've been watching GO with family members who are seeing it for the first time, and the family member thinks they are just "close friends." Why? Because they haven't seen S2 and the kiss? Because they haven't verbally said "I love you" to each other? Do they really need to say that to prove their feelings for each other? Is that just your values creeping to the fore?

And where did you get your values from?

Sometimes you need to stop and question why you think what you think. I'm not just talking about religious indoctrination. Some expectations put on us by by society at large can be insidious. Expectations around how gender should act, the life purpose of a gender, your worth to society if you don't meet certain unspoken standards, age-related behaviour, social norms around alcohol consumption, the way they dress, what someone eats, the way they eat it, that you must be seen to be productive, or busy...take your pick for whatever is prevalent around you at the moment and for your culture. Just start by noticing, and being aware.

Yes, it is pointless, because demons and angels all come from the same angelic stock. There was a bit of a disagreement at one point and they split into two groups, and judgemental labels got applied to them. They are both still bureaucratic horrors. Which ever side wins the final battle, humans still lose.

Mortal humans all look the same inside, too, if you take their face and skin away and take the societal labels off them. We forget that about ourselves all the time.

There doesn't have to be any wibbly-wobbly timeline stuff going on to explain things. What ever happened to the concept of Occam's Razor? The simplest answer is usually the correct one. And that was what I realized in the middle of the night - the cliche I had used to title this was the answer. It's about being aware of those ingrained, instinctive, judgmental values that you don't realize you've learnt, and looking past the faces that you meet.

*oh lawdy, I'm giving strength to all of you who want to believe he is a demon then, aren't I? But do demons have facial hair either?

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #crowley #mrs sandwich #nina and maggie #job minisode #1941 minisode #the resurrectionists #aziraphale #beelzebub #gabriel #taking things at face value #lampshading #value judgements #wibbly wobbly timey wimey #occams razor

[steddiealltheway]

Part Three of Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer!!! Part One. Part Two. AO3 Link.

Eddie doesn’t know what to get Steve next. Well, he knows what he wants to give Steve, but he’s pretty sure a mixtape would be a dead giveaway. But it’s four days after the second gift, and he needs one for tomorrow. 

He groans and flops down on his bed. What’s vague enough that doesn’t scream Eddie Munson is your fake secret admirer? He could get cupcakes or something, but that’s kind of dumb and not personal enough. Plus, he wants to see Steve get flustered again. It feels nice to know that he can do that to Steve Harrington. 

Because it’s Steve, and he doesn’t seem easily wooed, as he’s always the one doing the wooing. Eddie is glad to be giving Steve a break for once because he’s a great friend. A great friend who happens to get butterflies when he sees his other friend get giddy from his anonymous gifts. 

Eddie flails his arm out to grab his pillow and scream into it – instead, he hits his bedside table and hears a large clattering noise. The universe is against him tonight. 

Eddie groans and rolls to the side of his mattress to check if anything important fell besides his deodorant. He sees a few abandoned hair ties and an empty soda can but nothing of value. Until he’s slightly blinded by a gleam of silver. 

He reaches out and grabs the small object, fingers wrapping around the cool metal. It’s the ring he keeps on his nightstand, far too large for any of his fingers but also with a simple design carved into the metal that is almost too pretty for Eddie to be putting it on a chain to wear around his neck. 

It’s not anything too sentimental besides the fact that Eddie has had it for years now after spotting it at some yard sale and immediately swiping it – blame his father for teaching him that trick. He stares at it for the first time in a long time fully taking it in. He has the absurd thought that it would look pretty on Steve. 

It would look pretty on Steve. He’s scared he’d hate it and wear it only when Eddie is around to see it. But if it’s from his secret admirer, Eddie doesn’t have to worry about Steve’s politeness. He laughs and clutches the ring to his chest thinking of a cheesy note to write Steve as he drifts off. 

-:-:-:-:-:- 

He parks in the parking lot, ring in a small cardboard box with a horribly wrapped bow on top trapping a note underneath it. Every five days is a nice schedule, but maybe he should add some variation in it. But there’s no way that Steve is going to guess today is the day after only two gifts. 

At least, that’s what he thinks until Eddie sets the box on the top of Steve’s tire and hears someone yell, “Eddie! You’re Steve’s secret admirer?!” Dustin of all people pops out from behind the corner of the store. 

“Dustin... this isn’t what you think...” 

Dustin runs up to him and grabs him by the arm. “I’ve been waiting out here for days for some girl, and it’s just been you! Are you kidding me?” Eddie finds that Dustin is a lot stronger than he thinks as he drags him inside the store and yells, “Steve! I found your secret admirer!” 

Steve and Robin whip their heads around. Robin’s eyes go wide, and Steve’s eyebrows pinch together. “Well, where is she?” Steve questions.  

“Nu uh uh. Where is he?” Dustin corrects him excitedly pointing to Eddie. 

Steve takes a moment to process it, but as soon as he opens his mouth, Eddie cuts him off. “I’m not his secret admirer! I’m just... the messenger! Okay? I caught them the first time, and I promised to deliver the rest so they wouldn’t get caught.” He holds his hands up, pretty proud of his ability to make shit up on the spot. But he’s also dug himself into a way deeper hole. 

He glances towards Steve, trying his best not to look guilty or suspicious. Oddly enough, Steve seems a bit... disappointed by the news. Probably just because he was excited to solve the mystery of E.R. and no other reason. “So, you know them?” Steve questions. 

“Better than you think,” Eddie says, and tries not to cringe as Robin signals at him to cut it out. 

“Sworn to secrecy?” 

“The secretest,” Eddie replies lamely but Steve doesn’t laugh for once, just smiles tightly. 

“Are you kidding me?” Dustin says again. “You’re our friend first! Whoever this is can forget about whatever promise you made.” 

“Why don’t we talk about this outside while grabbing Steve’s gift?” Eddie says already grabbing Dustin’s shoulder and pulling him out the door. 

“Who is it? Who could possibly be so important that they-”  

The door closes behind them, and Eddie finally starts talking, “It’s me, okay? But not like me.” Eddie sighs and runs a hand over his face. 

“You have like two seconds to explain to me before I tell Steve,” Dustin says, full attitude in his tone. 

“Steve couldn’t stop saying he was hopeless, so I came up with a plan to give him hope.” 

Dustin narrows his eyes at him. “So, you made Steve an imaginary admirer to stop his whining.” Eddie cringes at that description, but... it’s true. “That’s perfect!” 

Eddie shoots the kid a look. “It is?” 

“Well, we don’t have to worry about a random person trying to butt into the group, and now we’re sure that Steve will be occupied until someone else comes along.” 

Someone else. Yeah, that’s a good plan. All part of the plan. Speaking of that... Eddie grabs the small box off the top of Steve’s wheel and walks back into Family Video to find Steve staring at him. “What was that all about?” 

“Had to convince Henderson that the admirer was worthy enough for his second favorite babysitter.” 

“The first being?” 

“Me of course. Right Dustin?” Eddie asks ruffling his hair. 

Steve points at the kid. “Don’t answer that.” 

Dustin holds his hands up and changes the subject, “I’m just here to see what’s in the box.” 

With that, Eddie tosses it to Steve who catches it easily. He smiles down at the gift. “I don’t want to undo the bow it’s so cute.” 

Robin gives him a look filled with confused disgust. “Just open the box.” 

Steve reluctantly unties the bow and stares at the note. Dustin and Robin scoot closer to him and read along. Eddie joins them. You and me... that has a nice ring to it. Robin groans and Dustin laughs. 

Okay, maybe it doesn’t make total sense, but it’s the best Eddie could come up with. It has the effect Eddie wanted – Steve's cheeks flush a wonderful shade of pink. He opens up the box on the counter and removes the ring carefully. He slowly spins it around to look at every detail. 

Robin and Dustin look over at Eddie with wide eyes. “Looks like your secret admirer is proposing,” Robin breathes out. 

“No I-” Eddie trails off as Steve looks up at him. “I... don’t think that was their intention. Besides, I doubt it fits his ring finger.” 

Steve slides the ring over his ring finger. It fits perfectly. Steve smiles. 

“Okay, I think it’s a little too soon for a marriage proposal,” Eddie says, sweating at the image of Steve wearing his ring for some reason. 

“Not if he’s known the person for a long time,” Dustin supplies unhelpfully. Telling him was a bad idea. 

Luckily, Steve seems too distracted by his gift to really process what the kid has said. Eddie takes the moment to shoot Dustin a warning look. He decides it’s better to take him out of the situation entirely. “So, Dustin, your duty is done, so let me give you a ride home.” 

“To the arcade,” Dustin corrects. 

“Fine, the arcade. Let's go,” Eddie says as he starts heading out the door. 

“Wait!” Steve says, finally breaking out of his thoughts. Eddie turns around. “Just... give me a minute,” Steve says and runs to the break room. 

Robin rushes forward. “You told Dustin?” 

“Big mistake, I know.” 

“Hey! I’m great at keeping secrets.” Robin and Eddie give him a blank stare. Dustin sighs, “Fine, I’ll just wait in the car.” Eddie watches as Dustin mutters something under his breath as he walks out the door. 

“You’re really getting into this whole gift thing, aren’t you?” Robin teases him with a knowing smile. What she knows, Eddie doesn’t want to think about. 

“Just helping a friend out.” 

“A friend,” Robin says sarcastically. 

The break room door opens before Eddie can defend himself. Steve rushes over to Eddie with a folded-up piece of paper.  “Can you give this to them? And just... promise not to read it.” 

“Of course,” Eddie lies, stomach churning unpleasantly. “What do you think of the ring?” he asks nervously, changing the subject. 

Steve looks down at it and smiles. “I love it.” 

“Yeah?” Eddie asks with a big grin. 

“Yeah,” Steve replies with a soft look. Eddie tries not to trick himself into think that Steve would respond the same way if Eddie had given it to him without the false pretense of the secret admirer. 

“I’m glad.” Eddie’s eyes flicker to Robin who is staring at him while making a gagging gesture. 

A car horn saves him from any cruder gestures she could make. “Looks like it’s time for me to go and deliver a boy and a letter. Farewell!” Eddie says dramatically, waving at the pair. 

He tries not to think of why the image of Steve waving with the ring glistening on his finger stays stuck in his head. 

After Eddie drops Dustin off, he immediately unfolds the note from Steve.   

Dear E.R.,  

Thank you for the kind gifts. Would be so kind as to tell me something about yourself? Something that makes you smile the way you’ve made me smile.  

I can’t wait to hear from you, 

Steve 

It’s cheesy and romantic, and Eddie’s unable to convince himself that he doesn’t wish the note was truly for him. This was not part of the plan. 

Part Four

Hello My Dear Tag List:

@wrenisflying @gobbledy-gluk-gluk @swimmingbirdrunningrock @ghostlyjax @wheatnoodle @yet-still-more-banched @moonshadows-13 @princessstevemunson @adankrivervalleynearyou @manda-panda-monium @brassreign @bornonthesavage @unclewaynemunson @bird-with-pencils @themardlonk @fangirltofangod @csinnamon-fox @mightbeasleep @theysherobinbuckley

@writtenbyancientskeletonhats @nagitoeatsnillacharms73 @duckyreads @hellykelly @glittergluekintsugi @rainydays35 @thatonespacek1d @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @paperbackribs @anaibis @adaydreamaway08 @steviesbicrisis @madaboutmunson2 @goose-on-the-loose @dangdirtydemons @whimsicalwitchm @aftermidnightwriting @toasted-ghosty @queerbeansworld @aryakanojiaa @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @queerriotgrrrl @iwouldsail @hellomynameismoo @r0semaryyy @hopefulcookieoperatorpersona @pomegranatebb @piningapple @love-kurdt @wallpaper-inside-my-heart @eddiesbabe95 @isaacisunsure @adankrivervalleynearyou @sleepdeprivedflower @gay-little-bitch @ely-seum @tillystealeaves @yes-im-your-mom @ceaselessly-watching @evix-syne666 @sweetharmonychilde @myhorseis-regularsized @homosexual-having-tea @anything-thats-rock-and-roll @henderdads

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #secret admirer

[marunalu]

Hi. What do you think about new chapter?

Honestly? For the most part I was just bored. As much as I love that izuku got his arms back, you can see that the only reason why hori let him lose them in the first place was to shock the readers. This is the same bullcrap he did with bakugous fake death. To let him get "killed" just to let him get resurrected in the very next chapter.

It was clear izuku would get his arms back, but at least it should have lastet a few chapters to show readers how serious the whole situation is. There are no stakes in this "war". The good guys dont die and if they get injured a "wonder" happens so they will not die or end up terrible disabled for the rest of their lives. And just like I said after the latest chapter, deux ex machina eri is the one who saves the day of course.

Again, it was clear izuku would get his arms back and that it would be eris doing. Thats not my problem. My problem is that I dont like it when an author writes shocking scenes simply just for the shock value and to trend on twitter and not because its important for the story. Thats horrible and lazy writing and just screams "I want attention!"

An other problem I have is that eri can simply just "cut her horn off" it seems. By that logic there was never a reason for chisaki to abuse eri like he did. He could have simply waited till the horn was big enough and then cut it off and I dont think chisaki was to dumb to not realize that by himself. I dont know if it means that eri is kinda quirkless from now on, but knowing hori I wouldnt bet on it and I think the horn will just grow back. I also dont like how eri calls bakugou "kacchan." We never see them interacting in the manga or that they formed a relationship. As far as I know only in the light novels in which eri is scared of him they interact. I just dont think hori should put things that happen in other medias like the light novels or movies in the manga, because it could confuse people that only have read the manga and nothing else.

About the whole kurogiri vs aizawa and mic interaction. The whole thing just startet so I guess we will see an other flashback so I cant say much about it yet. I just wished hori would stop skipping whole fights of other characters just because he likes to focus on bakugou instead by giving him TWO fights! Bakugou has enough spotlight, other characters deserve it more and not just flashback fights.

I liked though that it was mentioned that eri is learning from aizawa and thinks rational like him, so thats why she cut her horn just like he did cut his leg off. Its also cute how she mentioned that she wants to become a singer like jiro. The only other thing I liked was that afomura is starting to look more like the original afo now, because thats a thing I was wondering if it will happen. Him looking exactly like his original body and then fighting izuku would be great.

All in all the chapter was meeehhhh from what I have seen so far. Its funny because I hated the last chapter at first because the spoilers and translation were worded so bad but now I actually quite like it. For this chapter I dont feel much except maybe bored and annoyance over hori writing shock moments that dont mean anything but to shock his readers. I simply dont like it when authors do that.

#bnha #bnha spoiler

[alexlovesfanfics]

Things I would change about HOO if I had the chance

Disclaimer, I am not suggesting that I am better than Rick Riordan, BC while I do have issues with certain actions of his, what he has created is extremely impressive and without a doubt amazing. I am not suggesting that his books need to be burned and that they're terrible, but it’s important to note that no book is flawless and every book can have criticism levied against it but that should not necessarily affect your enjoyment of a piece of media.

With that out of the way, let’s get into it

The debate on whether or not to save Nico is my least favourite part of the entire Riordanverse. I despise it with every fibre of my being. Look I get why they were arguing against saving him, and I do think there's value in the scene and it shouldn't be removed, but Percy should not have accepted it. Percy and Nico may have had problems (points to Nico’s internalised homophobia + probably religious guilt, the misplaced blame of Bianca’s death, the betrayal of Percy to Hades, and probably many more examples) but Percy’s fatal flaw is loyalty. He literally took on the great prophecy for Nico. He could have asked his dad to idk. Turn him into a dolphin until Nico’s 16th birthday or something. But he didn't. Also, Nico was the one to get him the Achilles Curse which probably saved his life countless times, and Percy should at the very least want to return the favour.

Speaking of the Achilles Curse, how did they get rid of it? Are we forgetting that Percy can swim without getting wet? (Also it seemed a bit contrived to me). And before you go arguing that it lowered stakes, no it didn't! There’s a great fanfic I once read that showed what it would be like if Percy kept the Achilles curse, while also delving more into the curse aspects of it! In the end, you could clearly see why he wanted it gone! It could have been an extremely interesting plot point!

I made a post about it before but the Percy Jason rivalry was contrived. It should have been an Annabeth and Jason rivalry while Percy and Piper were the friends. Like. Both Annabeth and Jason were used to being the leaders, and while Annabeth can give up control, she doesn't usually do so. They’re both also the competitive ones so they would definitely clash a lot more than the usually laid back Percy. Honestly Percy and Piper would both be really good friends.

The Jason and Annabeth rivalry would probably be exacerbated if Jason acted like he had been raised by y'know. Wolves. To me personally it never really came across that he had been with Lupa since he was 2. He should have been more. Wild ig? Like in Caffeinated Flummiddle’s ‘Decendents of Olympus’ (I butchered their name, I’m sorry) he literally ripped out someone's throat! That’s more wolf like behaviour! And while I don't want him to be all Alpha and stuff, I would like more wolf characteristics please. Maybe a preference for raw meat, lending to the irony of him dating a vegetarian

Speaking of the vegetarian in question, I hate how they handled Drew. Traumatised girl who fought in a war, lost her older sister, and had become cabin counsellor gets humiliated by a new sister who forcefully takes her place. So once again, I’m going to take inspiration from Caffeinated Flummiddle’s work and make her aroace, and also less cruel. She’s definitely no sweetheart but she’s more sympathetic. I mean, look at it from her perspective. After all the aforementioned stuff happens to her, Percy Jackson, one of the strongest demigods and well beloved figures goes missing, the gods shut down Olympus, and suddenly there’s info on where you can find Percy after months of searching, but it’s fruitless and instead of Percy, you get 3 random people, one of whom is your sister, and is extremely mean towards Aphrodite kids, treating them as if all they care about is physical appearances (side note: I hate the interpretation of the Aphrodite cabin. Literally during Vital, they were running around offering to make ppl look good, when it would have made more sense for them to be gearing up to fight to protect their home and the people they love. After all, there’s a reason love and war are so often interlinked. I personally would have leaned more into this protector aspect. Aphrodite kids fight for love, and to protect). So Drew in my version would have rightly wary and pissed, but would bind with Piper for the course of her stay at camp, coming to see her as a sister and encouraging her to lean into her femininity. But no counsellor Piper! Idk why Rick loves to make all of his characters either Counsellors or Praetors. Out of the 7, the only non-cabin counsellors were Hazel and Frank, who were both Praetors

Leo would stay single and learn to love himself, and that his value is not dependent on his relationship status. I would prefer Hazel/Frank/Leo like in this very specific fanfic but Single Leo works better thematically. No Calypso plotline. The gods freed her and that’s that.

Actually no that’s not that. Calypso could join the hunters like her late sister. After all, after centuries of being forced to fall in love, she's probably done with it.

Idk if Reyna should join them or instead just travel around the world and chill. After all, not every single female character needs to join the hunters.

Small tweaks to Percabeth. Check my previous post for more details. Aka no judo flip scene, and more supportive Annabeth

No evil Nyx. She’s a primordial, she has better things to do than bear with demigods. This isn't a big issue but I’m not a fan of it.

ACTUALLY ADDRESS THE POISON SCENE MY GOD. CW for Suicidal behaviour but Percy was willing to let himself die! And Jason just went ‘Yeah I get it’ instead of giving an appropriate reaction!

Also idk if I'm hallucinating but I could have sworn that Annabeth once said that she got underestimated for being blonde. That was the stupidest thing ever. I'm not blonde but I can assure you, ppl don't get discriminated against bc they're blond. I feel like it would have worked better if the focus was pivoted from 'being seen as dumb BC she's blond' to being seen as dumb BC she's a girl'

Also idk if I'm qualified to talk about this but Rick really just gave us body positivity (Frank not being conventionally fit), before magically taking it away. Like maybe if he got there through exercise it wouldn't be quite as bad (though it's important to remember that not all plus sized people can exercise and get super thin, and it depends on a number of factors like your genetics and any possible medication) but just magically he got stereotypically fit, which annoys me to end BC of personal reasons

Definitely not qualified to talk about this but I remember there was a whole issue with a part of the way Rick handled Piper's Cherokee identity. I can't remember but I believe it was BC she wore eagle feathers in her hair which is only done by Cherokee chiefs? If anybody is well educated on this issue, pls feel free to educate me.

More emphasis on smart Percy. We all seem to have forgotten the diet coke scene and that is a crime

More Grover??? He went from being one of the main characters to being nowhere around

There's probably more but I can't remember right now. Might make a part 2

#percy jackson #annabeth chase #nico di angelo #heros of olympus #jason grace #percy jackson and the heroes of olympus #piper mclean #leo valdez #hazel levesque #frank zhang #reyna avila ramirez arellano #grover underwood #heros of olympus critical #rick riordan critical #tw Suicidal behaviour #suicide #lmk of i need to add more tags #shut up alex

[winepresswrath]

Its the jiao jiao anon again .

You keep giving me great pairings. Tell me everything how su she (Shang Qinghua) transmigrate and how will fuck jiang cheng. Is he still an author ? What was his intention with this kinda book?

I think he is still a writer but not the actual author of mdzs. He's a relatively casual fan who admires the vision and winces in sympathy every time drama gets kicked off. This is why you don't try, mdzs author! You give the people what they want and take their money. He's originally planning on keeping his head down and learning just enough cultivation from the Lan to make his life easier than it otherwise would be, then getting an urgent letter from his sick mother right before the Wen are scheduled to attack, but alas, his wandering not-cultivator dumpling sabbatical puts him directly in Jiang Cheng's path while he's frantically running for help after leaving Wei Wuxian in the Xuanwu cave. And the thing is he's still kind of reflexively haughty when he needs something? So pathetic and vulnerable. So cute. What could possibly be the harm in giving him a ride? The Wen aren't scheduled to attack Lotus Pier for ages. He can be on a ship to Dongyin by that time!

Anyway no good deed goes unpunished because Jiang Fengmian does as a general rule believe in giving credit and naming names. He should have fucking known. Now Wen Chao has a grudge against him and he's running around under a fake name wracking up credit for things he did (while trying to run away) and things he did not do (sometimes even when you have a massive army and the most powerful cultivator in the world on your side, things go wrong! He's not responsible for every problem with Wen supply lines. He's responsible for exactly one cart blowing up, and he was just trying for a distraction so he could sneak onto a ship. It didn't work and the harbour is kind of a no-go zone for him now). He comes up with a new plan: find Huaisang and use his shitty unwanted heroic reputation and talent for creative pornography to worm his way into the young master's guard, where he can get some writing done far from the front lines. Unfortunately, he once again stumbles across Jiang Cheng, who is tragically trying to rebuild his sect and searching for a missing shixiong. Shang Qinghua is still a logistics guy, because he was doing grunt work for the Lan and also I feel like that's the shape any transmigration setting is going to bend into around him. Jiang Cheng is so grateful to see a familiar face. He knows the value of a good spreadsheet. His eyes are so pretty when he's trying not to cry. The Jiang aren't in a great place during the war, but Shang Qinghua knows the sect makes it through and he doesn't remember any Jiang disciples being asked to heroically sacrifice themselves after Lotus Pier falls. Plus the food is better and there's plenty of room at the top! A veritable power vacuum. To say nothing of all the empty space in Jiang Cheng's personal life when almost everyone he loves dies and leaves him alone! Anyway this is the story of how Shang Qinghua accidentally paints a series of targets on his back, unnecessarily involves himself in the plot, and overcomplicates his life because being a sucker for a pretty face and a bad personality is even more integral to his character than underappreciated grunt work. Probably he manages to save Yanli, at least. He's not interested in being a stepfather! That's a lot of work. Wei Wuxian barely notices he exists until either he saves everyone or the second life roles around, depending on how ambitious and/or motivated Shang Qinghua is feeling. Then he hates him passionately, but it's too late. They probably eventually reach some kind of begrudging peace.

#meanwhile in svsss a noted danmei author woke up in lmy and decided that she would not be joining any harems or dealing with any #dead brother induced vengeance quests #i think plan a was to solve the plot with liujiu #because she likes enemies to lovers and has a very specific set of narrative problem solving skills #and anyway! sqq won't kill his lover right she's pretty sure you can solve murder with dick and he's always seemed very lonely #and obviously it would be ungentlemanly to snipe his boyfriend's intended disciple #an elegant solution! #but then clan leader seems so heartbroken! what has she done!!! #threesomes go against her morals as a strict otp shipper but she IS in a dog shit harem novel after all #and her tender heart has been moved by the plight of a childhood friend with a big dick. something something she also winds up the center #of a shl nyy love triangle like oh nooooo what WILL she do

[lookingforsneha]

Okay but Noah Kahan's 'She calls me back' is so Jason and Piper coded. (HOO and TOA spoilers ahead!!)

Because like, firstly the whole theme about unrequited love. Because Jason still loved her after the break up, he felt empty after it. And he died for her too.

And so much of Jason's character revolved around death and sacrifice. Most of his life (before HOO) he grew up thinking all he was there for was to die, almost like the goal of his life was to die like a hero, in combat.

And him (during HOO) getting a girlfriend, him finding close friends, it feels like around that time, there was more to living than just the glorified idea of dying as a hero.

'I do not exist to die'

Although most of HOO is about them being the seven from the prophecy, of being the ones that would stop Gaea and all that, it's also about them bonding. Becoming a good team. And for Jason, a lot of it is new: he didn't exactly have friends before (except maybe Reyna?). And he's falling in love too (and I will fight anyone who says it's fake, because even if those memories were planted into their minds by Hera- still doesn't change the fact that they ended up liking eachother. They started to create their own memories- that was the point of their arc, to find out what they feel for eachother on their own and separate it from the memories Hera created)

So he starts finding new purpose- separating himself from who he was forced to be as Preator. He has more to live for now.

'I do not exist to die, but live to die while saving you'

And it just hits so hard when this line comes up because like, the Roman's literally trained him that all his life was worth was in the cohorts- what he could give to camp Jupiter. It was never a two way relation, like the Greeks, like when percy got lost, they sent out search parties- Jason got none of that, even with all he did for camp Jupiter, because they couldn't waste resources on just one guy or whatever.

So when he dies for Piper, it's like- it's worth it to him. Like, to him, this is the healthiest relationship he has had, it gives him more to live for- and by extension more to die for.

And then, Kacey Musgraves verse resonates so perfectly with Piper's Character too, because in it's essence its about the 'unrequited love' theme. She doesn't love him anymore, at least not romantically.

and then the ending with, 'all the pain I should have saved, oh I was too afraid of living life in your footsteps,' feels like it fits so perfectly with the whole thing where Piper says, "That we'd be together forever like Percy and Annabeth?"

(I feel like this is more concerned with the Fandom culture of hating Jason and Piper together just cause it's threatening to be like Percabeth, the fan fave. Rick Riordan eventually gives the audience what they want. But if you ignore Fandom culture and all of that, I think the love they shared held so much value. They had such a unique start, different problems: it was so interesting to read about how they navigate their problems. It's just the constant comparison to Percabeth: both in the book with the characters; and out of the book with Fandom culture. They were too afraid of being confined to the thought of being like Percabeth, that what they did build up was never given value. -but that's a discussion for another time-)

Anyway, I wanna hug Jason so bad rn, I can’t read this anymore and I feel like I can’t listen to this fantastic song anymore cause all I think of is Jason and how he deserved the world but got literally nothing.

I wanna write an essay about him :( and hug him.

#jason grace #piper mclean #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #jason grace angst #percy jackson #annabeth chase #trials of apollo #noah kahan #jason x piper #she calls me back #this is so fucking sad to me #Jason Grace needs a hug #i love him so much #his story is so fucking sad i can’t do this #he’s too babygirl to deserve this fate

[reunionatdawn]

My Analysis of the Best Paired Endings in 3H (Part 5: Hubert/Ferdinand)

Hubert: I've already dedicated my life to Lady Edelgard. To throw my lot in with you is inconceivable. But if I had two lives to give… I might devote one of them to you. Not as master and servant, but as equal partners.

Hubert's earliest memory was being told that he was a servant and he must guard his "master" with his life. As a member of House Vestra, he was also responsible for carrying out House Hresvelg's dirty work from the shadows. He left his carefree innocent childhood days behind long before coming to the monastery.

Hubert said he killed his father for his disloyalty to the emperor, but I suspect his resentment ran much deeper than that. Deep down, he truly did desire to devote his life to someone as an equal, not as a servant. Even if he wasn't consciously aware of it, I think he despised his father for robbing him of that dream.

Dorothea: Oh, Hubie, I finally get you. You're just another servant suffering from unrequited love for their mistress. Hubert: You completely misunderstand. Unrequited love? Do I really look like the kind of drooling simpleton to have that kind of motivation?

The fact that Hubert was so obsequious to his master was not natural for him. He is an Aries, which is a very masculine fire sign. They actually have a naturally powerful and dominant personality, and they are also known for not being very emotional.

Edelgard is the "obvious" person Hubert would be in love with. Dorothea assumes this as well as Ferdinand in Hopes. But he denied that he was motivated by unrequited love. And you know what? I actually believed him. The way he described Edelgard was idolization, not love. Hubert wanted to crush the nobility he hated, and he admired Edelgard for sharing that goal. He was definitely bonded to her since she was the only person he could trust. But there was a distinct lack of emotional intimacy between the two.

Edelgard: Well, that's utter nonsense! You can't possibly keep something so fascinating from me! Who is it? Hubert: It is you, Lady Edelgard. Did you ever really doubt?

In their A-Support, Hubert was reluctant to open up and share his feelings with Edelgard, much to her frustration. She even tried to use her power as emperor to get him to confess his secrets, but he wouldn't budge. The dialogue actually changes slightly depending on whether he has already reached A-Support with another girl.

But curiously, even if he has, he will still say that the person he loves is Edelgard. You could always take his declaration at face value. However, I believe that it should not be. The implication was that crafty unreadable servant didn't think the details of his love life were any of her business. He knew she didn't want to drop the subject, so he just lied. He'd rather deal with the awkwardness of her believing that he is a simp than letting her know who he is dating.

Ferdinand: Please do not compliment me again though. I find it quite unsettling. It is like hearing a snake sing an aria. At least put it in a letter next time. Hubert: In the very unlikely event that there is a next time, I promise to put it in writing.

Even if Hubert doesn't have A-Support with another girl, I still think he was lying to Edelgard in his A-Support. I got the sense that Ferdinand was the one Hubert "canonically" had secret romantic feelings for, regardless of their Support level. The way he describes Ferdinand is so similar to how he described Edelgard in his B-Support with Dorothea. While Hubert hated the nobility, he genuinely admired true nobility and all of the qualities associated with it.

Hubert: Is it a gift? Perhaps for someone you fancy? Ferdinand: A gift, yes. For you. Hubert: Hm. Who is the unlucky— Did you say for me?! This coffee is a gift for me? Have I heard you correctly?

In Hubert's other A-Supports, the woman is always the one to come onto him, which he does admittedly enjoy. But Hubert actually took the initiative with Ferdinand. If Byleth marries him, he won't even have a ring because he's "never done well with gifts or flattery." But he will compliment Ferdinand and buy him expensive tea?

If this A+ Support is unlocked first, Ferdinand will be drinking Hubert's coffee in his A-Support with Edelgard. It implies that his relationship with Hubert helped him reconcile with his subordinate position to Edelgard.

I loved how the unapologetically evil Hubert developed a crush on the compassionate and conventionally attractive Ferdinand. And I loved how some genuine flattery from Edelgard's #1 fan fed into the flamboyant Ferdie's ego and turned him into a blushing schoolgirl. Hubert is a man who is described as ghoulish inside and out, yet I daresay, there was mutual attraction.

Hubert: I have an entire laundry list of loathing, but if I had to pick one, it would be reminiscing.

The tagline for FE3H was, "Sweet memories twisted by time's cruel hand". Hubert did not have any particular emotional response to fighting any of his former Black Eagle classmates, with one exception. He became nostalgic when Ferdinand confronted him in Enbarr.

While I think he will settle for an attractive woman who makes the first move, Ferdinand was the one he always fancied. This definitely feels like the "canon" ship for Hubert. Of course, no pairings are truly canon, because of player input. By "canon" I mean the writers favored this pairing the most, similar to Eliwood/Ninian in Blazing Sword.

Ferdinand: I cannot afford to die now, or my page in the history books will end in a most horrid fashion. "Plagued by the guilt of striking down his father, Ferdinand welcomed the cold embrace of death on the battlefield." Or some such hogwash. Yes, I killed my father-and I would be a liar if I said it did not wound me nearly beyond reckoning. But I will not hate myself for it. It was the correct choice. I did the right thing.

Ferdinand and Hubert had a prominent relationship in Hopes as well. More prominent than any of Hubert's relationships with his potential wives. I can't exactly say Hubert is a good influence on Ferdinand's (or anyone's) morality. With Hubert goading him, Ferdinand beheads his father, while in his paralogue "Retribution" he tried to save him. And an Empire-aligned Ferdie never does let go of his obsession with his historical legacy.

But Ferdinand had a positive impact on Hubert's character development across both games. He criticized Hubert for not thinking for himself and never expressing an opinion of his own. Hubert is the one who wrote the letter to Claude/Seteth to carry on their goal to defeat those who slither in the dark. We can probably assume he did this on his own. In Hopes, Hubert also used his own money to hire Jeralt's Mercenaries to save Ferdinand's life, without consulting Edelgard.

Hubert & Ferdinand Hubert and Ferdinand became the left and right hands of Emperor Edelgard, competing constantly with each other to see who could be the more helpful. They were opposites—the Minister of the Imperial Household, melancholy and merciless, and the prime minister, bright and compassionate. Still, they brought out the best in each other. As the Empire became orderly and prosperous, the two came to be known as the nation's "Two Jewels," and were remembered fondly for generations to come. Some say their fame made even Emperor Edelgard jealous.

According to Teaspoon Translations, the Japanese ending for Hubert/Edelgard states that, "Even in their retirement, spent just by themselves, there were likely no romantic exchanges until the end." For Hubert/Ferdinand, it states: "Stories say that even the Emperor was envious of their inseparable relationship [lit: relationship in which they are truly open with one another], but the truth remains unclear."

Hubert's intimate relationship with his partner was apparently meant to directly contrast his emotionally closed-off relationship with his master. And Hubert probably displays the most positive development in his ending with Ferdinand. Instead of being feared for his unsavory reputation, he is actually remembered fondly by the public. I suspect all that kinky sex they were having behind Edelgard's back made all the difference.

#fe3h #fe3h meta #fe3h hubert #fe3h ferdinand #fe3h ferdibert #ferdibert #hubert von vestra #ferdinand von aegir

[barkspawn]

I love you're writing!!! Especially Elliott, you totally nail him! I would love the Valentine prompt 9: "I didn't mean to kiss you" one please! Have a great day!

Uh hey, let's pretend it didn't take me a year to get this done for you. Let's pretend it's for VD 2024. Playing pretend is fun. :')

i'm 7000% paranoid that I suck now so please tell me if I do so I know lmao thank you.

Parties were few and far between in Pelican Town. The only party in town that Amelia can compare to one of the parties she’d gone to in Zuzu would be when Abigail and Sam decided to play a drinking game to shake things up. So naturally, when Alex and Haley decided to throw (their version of) a rager, everyone was excited. Well, everyone who didn’t go to sleep before 10 p.m.

Amelia walked down the path toward town past the bus stop and took a deep breath. All she could hear was the soft crunch of the snow beneath her feet. She was just glad it wasn’t ice. She barely made it onto the cobblestone before she could hear the people at Haley and Emily’s place. 

“Farmer!” Alex called from the side of the house, obviously already at the very least tipsy. 

Oh boy. It's THAT kind of party.  

“Hey Alex, everyone inside already?”

“Yeah,” he started, going to lean on the fence but startling himself when he was further than he thought. Naturally, he pretended it didn't happen. He continued, “They're in there tryin’ to figure out what game to play. Should go in and give your vote before you play something lame.”

“Thanks, Alex. I'll see you back inside,” she laughed, turning the corner and walking inside. 

Holy stereotype. 

There were solo cups everywhere. The lights were oddly dim and the music was just loud enough so you had to raise your voice for anyone to hear you. 

“MEEEEEEEELS!” She heard Sam call from the other side of the room. Before she even turned in that direction, she felt herself lifted from the ground and hugged tightly. 

“Down boy!” Abigail called from the direction Sam had run from. Amelia laughed as Sam put her down, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. 

“Hey, Sam.”

“Hey! Sorry. I'm just excited that you came! I thought you'd bail for sure,” he commented as they walked back over toward the small foldable table that they all seemed to be standing around.

“Ouch. I guess I deserve that. I have been bailing a lot” Amelia sighed, running her hand through her hair, “but I'm not here to mope about work. Where's the booze?”

“That's my girl!” Abigail chimed in, walking around to hug her. Amelia turned and gave Sebastian the obligatory half-hug that had sort of evolved into their usual greeting. She turned her head and spoke low enough for only him to hear. 

“I just know you hate that this is a thing. You need an out, signal me and I'll make up a distraction so you can flee. Seriously, I'll do a keg stand or even break a vase.”

Sensation laughed aloud, shaking his head, “noted, Ames. Noted.”

Amelia chuckled and looked around the room. She saw Shane (who she noted was working on a Joja Cola) standing over by the kitchen with Emily. Clint stood awkwardly nearby with a beer, obviously trying to work up the courage to join the conversation. Penny wasn't there, but Amelia wasn't surprised by that. It wasn't really her scene and Sam would probably leave early to go and see her. Maru seemed to be poking fun at Harvey, who just kept talking, oblivious to Maru’s teasing. Finally, she spotted Leah in the corner, telling a very animated story to Elliott, who chuckled along. Leah must be a little far gone too. 

“Uh, are you going to take this or am I going to have to drink it for you?” Abigail asked, snapping her out of her daze. She offered a sheepish smile and took the cup.

“No, no. Sorry. Spaced out for a moment.”

“Staring at the Great Value Fabio again?” Abigail asked, her eyebrows arched as she sipped her drink. Sebastian laughed at the remark and then again when he saw how red Amelia’s face had grown. 

After a moment, Amelia huffed, “I was looking all over the house, thank you,” she paused, “and be nice! I feel like you guys would like him once everyone opens up.”

“I don't know. He just gives off a 'pretentious’ vibe. Plus, new people are exhausting,” Sebastian added. 

Before she could respond, Haley was calling out to everyone. 

“Okay! We've narrowed it down to…” she took a moment to look at the notes on her phone, “suck and blow,” Amelia heard Sebastian chuckle as he leaned over to whisper to Abigail, who stifled a laugh as Haley continued, “truth or dare, never have I ever, or… some game where you stab cherries.”

There was a pause until Shane spoke up, “I'm sorry… did you say stab cherries?”

A few people laughed and Haley rolled her eyes, “partner one gets cherry from the bowl with no hands and goes to partner two, who has a toothpick in their mouth. Stab cherry, switch spaces, first to four wins. Drop anything, kiss.”

“Right… yeah, I totally knew that.”

After a few seconds of murmuring, Leah spoke up, “Why don't we just play spin the bottle if you're trying to make it about kissing? A peck is innocent enough and if you're not comfortable, go for the cheek. Easy.”

There were a few who agreed. Frankly, Amelia figured that Spin the Bottle would be best anyway—no pressure, no cheating, no clothes coming off. 

The chance to kiss him.  

Amelia took a sip of her drink, nearly choking immediately, gaining the attention of half of the room. Some looked worried while others looked amused. Amelia waved them off, “Sorry, sorry. Spin the Bottle has my vote.”

Amelia turned to Abigail, quietly scolding, “For Yoba’s sake, Abby, how much vodka did you put in here?”

Abigail, obviously hiding a smirk, tried to look confused and innocent, “Wait, you wanted to mix it with something? That's just the peach vodka.”

Amelia just sighed and nodded after a second, “alright. I mean, you've got me there.”

They laughed as the night went on, everyone taking time to settle in and drink for a bit so everyone builds up at least a buzz. Finishing her red solo cup of vodka, Amelia stepped into the kitchen. It was loud and warm out in the main area. She fixed herself a glass of water before walking out and leaning against the wall. 

After a moment, Elliott walked over wearing her absolute favorite smile. She couldn't help but feel more comfortable. As she thought, it occurred to her that he had said something. 

“I'm sorry?” She called over the music, leaning her ear toward him. Understanding, he leaned closer to speak more in her ear.

“Hello! Sorry, it is rather loud. I have to say, I'm excited to see you here. It seems a lot of us were happily surprised.”

She felt him give her arm a gentle squeeze. She undoubtedly was blushing but she'd been drinking too, so that didn't help at all. 

“So I've heard. It turns out you're actually supposed to take a break from the hard labor you do daily,” she responded, her cheek beside his as she spoke. He pulled back briefly to mimic shock before leaning back in to speak. After a second, she added, “Wait, are you even drinking? I haven't seen you with a cup this whole party.”

Elliott seemed amused, leaning in with a coy smile, “You've been keeping tabs on me tonight?”

Amelia felt her cheeks grow warmer. Again, she thanked the alcohol for being her excuse. 

“No! I just meant whenever I see you. Like… when I look around?” She paused, “Shut up.”

Elliott laughed and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, “You never fail to surprise me, Amelia. And yes, I have been drinking. Quite a bit if I'm being honest.”

Before she could respond, Leah came and snatched Elliott by the arm, “Hiya Amelia! Gotta steal El for a minute! Sorry!”

As she dragged him away, nearly making him stumble, he pointed with his other hand and shouted, “We'll finish our conversation shortly! Don't leave!”

Well, there goes that idea.  

She was getting tired, but she could make it. She finished off drink three: a much less strong vodka soda. She tossed the cup in the back trash bag and headed toward the front door, deciding now was a good time for some air. 

It had gotten colder out, but it was a welcome change from the muggy feeling inside. She leaned against the tree just across the path and rested her head back, taking a deep breath. She was definitely a little more than tipsy, but in no way was she drunk. 

“You good, Oats?”

She startled a bit, looking over to see Shane, his hands in his pockets and his hood over his head. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. Just needed some air. Are you headed home?”

“Yeah…” Shane started, his hand moving to scratch his chin, “I'm not really one for kissing people just for the sake of kissing. Plus, half of them are practically babies.”

Amelia laughed, turning so her shoulder rested against the tree, “hey now, maybe it's just that you're a grouchy old man who cares for nothing but his daughter and chickens,” she teased, earning a genuine laugh from him. It wasn't easy to do. 

“Fuck off,” he laughed, giving her a look, “that old grumpy bastard is gone,” he half-joked, “I'm pretty sure today makes it a whole season without the stuff.”

“Shane, that's incredible. I'm so proud of you,” Amelia smiled, tilting her head to the side. Usually, she'd hug him, but she knew she reeked of vodka. 

Shane seemed to consider for a moment before laughing again, “I can't say why, but for some reason, that means a lot. Thanks, Oats. You should go back in. Kiss literally everyone. That's what that game is right?”

Amelia rolled her eyes, "well, who knows? Kids these days and their crazy new rules."

Shane chuckled and turned, walking backward and pointed at her, calling back, “Oh, and watch out for Clint. I heard he gets a little attached!”

“Be nice!” She laughed and shook her head, “See ya. I'll fill you in on all of the.. juicy gossip when I see you again.”

He gave her a thumbs up and turned, walking back toward the dark path that led to the ranch. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Elliott walk away from the noise. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but he went from concerned to surprised and then to overjoyed in a few seconds. She couldn't help but smile, watching as he ran a hand back through his hair, an excited laugh escaping into the night. 

She was ready to call out and get his attention, but she had caught his eye and he was jogging over, not stopping until he captured her in a tight hug. 

“Amelia! You'll never believe the news. My book is being published! And I couldn't have done it without you!”

He was rambling excitedly (and a little drunk if they're being honest) before he pulled back and put a hand on either side of her head, keeping her gaze. 

“Really! I'm going to dedicate the book to you! I can't thank you enough,” he went on. She had never seen him so excited. Before she could give any response, he kissed her. 

It wasn't aggressive, although it wasn't tender or gentle either. It was just a simple kiss. Yet, Amelia felt sparks move through her nerves seemingly all at once. In a split second, it was over. They stood staring at one another, his hands still resting on her face. She held a look of surprise while he looked shell-shocked and mortified. He realized that his hands remained and pulled them back. She could see him scrambling, digging through his thoughts. 

“I… well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean… to kiss you. I got overly excited and that was-”

“You didn't mean it?” She interjected, not even quite sure where she was going with this. The interjection threw Elliott off. He hesitated for a moment. 

“Oh, no. No no no, that was just my excitement. That's all.”

“Oh, well, that's kind of a shame…” she started, every alarm bell in her head screaming for her to shut her mouth. However, the influence of the vodka was a bit stronger, “I thought it was a good kiss.”

Elliott just watched her for a moment, opening and closing his mouth twice before finally speaking, “You… enjoyed it?”

Quit now! Before you make it weirder! 

“I did, yeah. I've kind of wondered what that'd be like. Now I know.”

There was another pause before Elliott spoke, his words chosen very carefully, “Well, that's a horrible kiss to show what it'd be like.”

She had hardly noticed that they were still standing relatively close. He moved one of his hands to touch her face once more, his thumb brushing over her cheek.

“I could give you a better... example. I really would rather show you a kiss more worthy,” he spoke softly, not even trying to hide how he looked down at her lips once more, “if that would be acceptable?”

She couldn't even figure out how to breathe for a second before his lips met hers again. This time, it was soft, and gentle, and made her feel almost like she was flying. It also lasted longer; and though it held passion, it wasn't needy or even animalistic like making out usually felt (at least when drunk). If anything it was more sensual. Still, they parted far too soon for Amelia’s liking. 

After a moment, Elliott spoke, “So, I'm much more comfortable with you using that as a suitable frame of… reference. Well, for an intentional first kiss.”

He was very obviously nervous. She took his hand, giving it a light squeeze, “that implies that there are other frames of reference I don't have,” she offered a playful smirk, knowing how strong she was coming on. Thankfully, Elliott laughed.

“Well, there are multiple kinds of kisses, Amelia.”

“To be honest… that sounds like a lot more fun than being at the mercy of a bottle and kissing other random drunk people. We could always bail…?” She offered, trying not to sound like she only wanted to go make out or something more nefarious. Still, he arched an eyebrow, a slow smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. 

“Are you trying to take me home, Ms. Amelia?” He teased, knowing she'd get flustered… which she did.

“Oh, Yoba. No! I just… you know… I think spending the rest of our evening kissing sounds so much more appealing than that…” 

Elliott laughed and offered his arm, “Oh, but of course. Let me take you home. I'll make a fire and we can just relax and,” he couldn't help but chuckle, “kiss. Which, mind you, I wouldn't mind doing either.”

They started walking down toward the beach path. As they crossed the bridge, she spoke up again, “This is probably obvious, but I'm going to put it out there verbally that I like you. Like… a lot.”

Elliott stopped and gave her the same look as earlier that feigned shock. She laughed and he chuckled, moving his arm around her shoulder. 

“This may come as a shock,” he started, “but I do like you a lot as well. I don't just give reference kisses to just anyone.”

She gave him a shocked look not unlike the one he gave her earlier that evening. He gave her a light squeeze and kissed the side of her head as they walked toward his place. 

#stardew valley #barkspawn #stardew valley fanfic #answered #sdv #stardew #elliot sdv #elliott sdv #sdv elliott #sdv fanfic #elliott stardew valley #stardew elliott #stardew fanfic #stardew valley elliott #elliot stardew valley #stardew one shot #stardew valley one shot #sdv one shot #fanfiction

[multific]

Made to be His

Khonshu x Reader

Summary: Love was one thing, but being born to be someone's was another.

The God of the Moon, as they called him, Khonshu was bored one day, talking to the only Gods who still looked his way he questioned one thing no God has ever.

"Why is it forbidden for us to love?"

This shocked the Gods. In their eyes, Khonshu should know. It wasn't just about the question of being immortal or not.

Gods were not allowed to fall in love. Especially not with mortals. Because they were Gods, they should be above mortals, set an example, and not falling in love.

In their eyes, love clouded the mind. And a God who is at the will of a human is easily manipulated. Which they couldn’t allow.

But the Goddess of Love, Hathor overheard Khonshu. She hated the God, and so decided to play the meanest prank on him.

Hathor made the perfect woman for Khonshu, she fit him perfectly. And to rub it in, even more, she not only gifted her with such beauty but she was also made half immortal.

And from then on, she just had to watch.

You were born a simple woman. Your mother and father took great care of you, you grew up with good values and you became a good part of society.

Yet, you felt as if you were one step in front of everyone, yet you felt like a piece of your heart was missing, like it was ripped from your heart.

Took you years to find that missing piece.

Once you went to Khonshu's temple and saw the statue, you knew, you were meant to serve this God.

Your relationship with Khonshu started when during a late night of prayer, a thief interrupted you and Khonshu saved you.

Khonshu knew the love he felt couldn't be, it shouldn't be. And yet, he loved you.

Your eyes mesmerized the God and could bring him to his knees. He knew he shouldn't but he loved you.

He tried to keep you from the Gods, keep your love for each other a secret. But of course, they found out.

Khonshu was rather surprised that the decision was only that he was banished from the Gods.

And you, you were banished from humans. you suffered greatly, you couldn't see your parents, siblings, or friends ever again.

Your punishment was to be with Khonshu, no matter what it took.

You didn't like to admit but even if it hurt, at least you had him, which made you happy.

The Gods hoped you'd blame Khonshu for it all and leave him.

But no one knew at that point that your longing for him was stronger than any other desire.

After all, Hathor forgot to give you the sense of hate towards Khonshu. He could try to kill you and you'd still love him.

It was messed up, but it was your life.

Eternity with the God of the Moon.

You liked his avatars, all of them different, Harrow was a strange one, always blaming Khonshu for things he has never done. Arthur Harrow was the only avatar of his who couldn't know about you.

Then came the broken mind of Marc Spector and his alters.

You liked them, all three were so interesting.

"Marc Spector, this is My Starlight, My Starlight, this is Marc Spector, my newest avatar."

"Nice to meet you."

He was stunned, he couldn't believe his eyes, he was sure he was in the presence of a Goddess.

And he was half right.

"Keep your eyes to yourself Marc, Steven and Jake! She is mine!"

Khonshu was scary, even Steven was a bit taken aback from that.

One day, the boys were out working in the Museum when Khonshu had to leave you at their flat.

He was rather reluctant to leave you, but after you reassured him, he did leave.

You fed the fish, made yourself some tea, even cleaned up the place a bit. Now, you sat on the windowsill, looking at London.

The world changed so much. You still remembered how it was back then.

"Oh, you are here." you heard a voice as the door closed. It was Steven with groceries in his hands, you went to help him. "Thank you."

"Khonshu left me here, he said it's safe. How was your day?"

"Pretty good, thank you. Oh, you cleaned up."

"Sorry, I got bored."

"No need to apologize, I-Thank you. It looks really nice."

"And I fed your fishies." you said as you saw he really did appreciate your help.

You sat back by the window, trying to be out of way. Steven sat down in front of you, you offered him a kind smile.

"Why are you with the bird? He calls you his wife and all."

"Hathor made me for him as a punishment. She hoped to make him suffer because she hated him so much. But, she created the exact opposite, I could never hate him. So, instead, she created a soulmate for him."

"Oh."

"Sounds crazy?"

"Crazy? No, a couple of months ago I thought Egyptian Gods were a myth and I had a Mercenary living in my head." you laughed a little.

"I like you three. You are interesting and handsome." you said and you saw as he looked away from you, embarrassed by the things you said. It made you laugh.

"Starlight?" the voice of Khonshu came as you stood up. "Let's go. Steven Grant, I won't need your services today, but tomorrow, be ready." he said as he grabbed you and you two disappeared.

"What are you doing Steven? He told you to stay away from her!" Marc said in his mind.

"I know, but she is so nice." Steven let out a sign, he was sure he was cursed, having crushes on married women, he had a serious problem.

You got home.

Home, an ancient temple, the same one you met him for the first time.

It was now your home for many decades.

"I told you not to speak to him Starlight."

"I know, but he's fun. Your last one was way too serious and a bit crazy, still handsome though."

Khonshu sat down in his usual chair, or throne as you often called it. You moved to sit on his lap, as usual.

"Handsome?"

"Not as handsome as you, My God." you said as you placed a kiss on his beak. His heart melted each time you did that. Kissing him, showing him love, care and affection. You were so good at that, keeping him calm and collected.

You gave him a sense of love which he never knew he needed yet deep deep down, he longed for.

Exactly the proof that you were made to be his.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart​​ @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports  @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa   @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow @crazzyter  @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79  @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @liveforkarljacobs @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​​ @paola-carter​​

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

#Khonshu #khonshu x reader #khonshu x you #khonshu x y/n #khonshu imagine #khonshu imagines #khonshu x fem reader #khonshu x goddess #soulmate #soulmate au #marc spector x reader #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader #Moon Knight #Moonknight #moon knight x reader #moon knight imagine #moon knight imagines #moon knight series #marvel #Marvel character #marvel fanfiction #Marvel AU #marvel fanfic #marvel imagines #marvel imagine

[myfairkatiecat]

Who's your least favorite KOTLC character and why?

OKAY.

So.

Least favorite IN UNIVERSE or least favorite AS A CHARACTER?

Because in universe, I have so much hatred for Lady Gisela that it isn’t even funny. How could you do ANY of this to your son. Like even Vespera, who is insanely ruthless, has the whole numb-empathy-making-it-so-nothing-feels-like-hurting-people thing making her 1% more sympathetic (she still sucks majorly—don’t get me started on the thing with the humans). But Gisela just does all of this to H E R. S O N. I dislike Cassius of course but Gisela was just cruel, especially for showing at least a little affection……and then always having been manipulating him and then CHANGING HIM WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION IN A WAY THAT COULD HAVE KILLED HIM??? Also who seals a creepy doorway with their tiny son’s blood that’s just SO MESSED UP. Like, NO. Stop being the way you are. Just stop. This isn’t even just because I love Keefe. Even if you hate Keefe you should despise Lady Gisela. I hope Keefe gets to stab her. Or Sophie. Or actually Fitz that could be so good, his act on behalf of his best friend who he hasn’t talked to enough lately. Actually all three of them could stab her. Actually the whole crew could do an Ides of March and just totally Julius Caesar her…. All of them get to stab her.

BUT. Gisela is a great character. So who do I hate as a character? Probably Timkin Heks actually. His existence just angers me and there isn’t any great redeeming value to him, other than the fact that he gives background to Stina’s family and that stuff gets a little interesting. Which probably means Shannon is doing a GREAT job with the way she write him cause we’re not supposed to like him. Or wait wait wait. Councillor Alina!! GET RID OF HER. We don’t need her. GONE. POOF. She serves a purpose in the story sure, but I don’t have to LIKE IT.

I would never choose to make Gisela vanish from the story—I would choose to let the Keeper crew get their revenge (especially Keefe) and destroy her entirely. But if I could never have to meet Timkin Heks and just know that he exists for plot reasons, I’d be chill with that. And if I could poof Councillor Alina out of existence, I totally would!! Sure there would have to be another council member being gross and annoying, but I have so much beef with this woman, like honestly I hope the rest of the council just banishes her.

Anyway those are my thoughts

#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #lady gisela #Timkin Heks #councillor alina

[i-who-has-never-had-a-name]

Books I will never read

1. Anything by Haruki Murakami, but especially Norwegian Wood.

I've read Kafka on the Shore halfway through and stopped. Also that one handjob scene....no. why. He's a huge misogynist who I do not want to support. I've heard about that one scene in Norwegian Wood with the father's picture...yikes. I like literary fiction the most, which means I want well-written characters meaning all of them should be well-written and have a soul, yes even the female ones. I saw that one picture of pseudo intellectual Harry Styles being in bed reading Norwegian Wood...at this point why? Why do we not question this? I sometimes wonder if this is all an inside joke I'm not into.

2. Any CoHo/Emily Henry/Tiktok romance book

No explanation needed. I'm in a happy relationship and I don't have a son with big balls.

3. Any splatterpunk book (Eric LaRocca's books, Playground)

I like disturbing books, I have nothing against brutal/disgusting scenes and such, but it has to have a purpose. You cannot write such sick, twisted things just for shock value, because you are a writer and should at least be a good one. Splatterpunk writers don't care about that. They write the most sick, twisted things that a human could come up with. It's not revolutionary but tasteless shock. Those people don't love literature, they love gore. It doesn't help that the vast majority of those authors are men and that they let their female and their younger characters experience a lot of pain. They get away with their blatant sadism and sexism by categorizing it as "splatterpunk".

4. That Icebreaker book

Not just bc it's a tiktok romance book, but specifically bc it reminds me of that one tiktok named Kierra I think who was widely sexist and rude and evil to a hockey player's wife just bc she said she didn't want her to make anymore sexual comments about her husband and the father of her child. Wild. You should definitely look into it.

5. A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

Torture Corn really. Straight women writes queer male characters are tortures them. We've all seen it, really.

6. Any self help book

Pure Scams. It is capitalist propaganda that your problems are based of your material conditions but are purely isolated from the rest of the world and as long you buy my book in which I give you a list of what to do, you won't be happy. When you give me your money, you'll be happy, really!

It definitely doesn't help that most of those authors are white, male and rich.

7. Books with queer male romance written by straight women

I'm not saying straight women don't have the capability to write well-written male queer characters, I'm just saying that there's a pattern...

I've come to this conclusion after reading the beloved "Song Of Achilles". There's a lot of critique I have with this book, mainly it's portrayal of queerness.

8. Any Books by J.K Rowling, including Harry Potter

Transphobic asshole and not that good of a writer.

9. Tolstoi's works

I'm sure he is great writer. Sometime when I'm old and grey I'll try reading War and Peace. But now, I'm too dumb for that.

10. Any of those celebrity authobiographies

I have my own life. I truly don't care and if I do I'll just watch some YouTube video instead of wasting my money. They're so painfully ghost written. Hate ghost written books, they can be so soulless. You can't really get an objective look at things bc the books are obviously biased. Look at that Prince Harry biography. You feel bad for him bc his wee-wee got frostbite without him actually addressing his partaking in the iraq war.

#books #the song of achilles #colleen hoover #leo tolstoy #haruki murakami #splatterpunk #icebreaker #prince harry #harry potter #j.k. rowling #Norwegian Wood

[dirtytransmasc]

Just reading you about spider and agreeing he deserve better. Srsly my heartaches for him and everyone in the fandom painting him being a bad guy is too much like his gray character guys.

but what I notice from him he will never be truly accepted by the two species both humans and na'vi for the human's his to na'vi or (savage) and to the na'vi his the constantly reminder of what the human's did to their people and land and I cry for him for that. His just a kid who wants to be belonged and accepted but always getting rejected.

And what pisses me off is to those people who blamed spider for bringing the rda to the metkayina when in fact it was signal from norm and max got detected by the rda signal. And Jake also pissed me off saying that spider might betray them for telling where they are like sir that kid is literally a ride or die like did he ever think that the how dangerous humans are especially a military one those people will torture for info when like sir your was once a soldier you know how brutal they are? Did he not even think what will they do to spider a kid? Imagine if quaritch didn't step up that boy brain will melted off. So yes spider deserved better

spiders such a good kid, that like, yeah, by human nature he just wants to be accepted, but like, he so clearly tries to suppress it. like sure, he wears his hair like jake, paints blue stripes on himself, holds himself like they do, but we never see him actually try and force himself into their lives. he follows kiri and lo'ak around because they're his friends and they love him, but other then that, he tries to slink into the background and be useful. he doesn't want to be a burden, a reminder, one with the humans. he literally would do anything, sacrifice anything for the na'vi. he did one thing for himself (saving his father, who was one of the first, if not only adults to ever care about him in his entire life) after years of putting his wants and needs aside, and he gets absolutely shit on. like he's just a baby, who will never fit in anywhere, who "doesn't want" to fit in anywhere (cause 99% of humans suck and he doesn't want to hurt the na'vi anymore than he already does for existing.) and he's just hurting.

I think spider's gonna burn out by the end of these movies. not in the going villain or rouge sort of way, but I think we're definitely gonna see a breaking point where he's just done. cause it has to be so hard to keep going like that for years.

he's gotten kidnapped, tortured, dragged around by the rda, forced to watch brutal tulkun hunts and village raids, watched a sibling die to save him, gotten held at knife point by someone who should be like his mother, knowing she might kill him. he has given his all, and still just kept rolling with the punches like they didn't hurt. and still, everyone seems to expect the worst of him.

and that comment from jake, I took it two separate ways, but I guess they could both coexist;

he didn't trust spider to protect his family, despite the kids undying love and devotion for them, even after he was shown nothing but hate.

and/or

he knew they were going to break the poor kid and get what they wanted from him, no matter what it took.

I don't know which one makes me feel more sick. the thought that jake thought so lowly of spider, or the fact that he knowingly abandoned him to that fate. even if jake wasn't the kids guardian, he could have at least given enough of a shit to feign worrying about him, or mourning spider capture. I understand having to make harsh decisions like valuing the life of many over one (doesn't make it anymore palatable, but y'know, military politics) but like, he didn't give a single shit. that's what bothered me the most. they just forgot about the kid.

with what james cameron has said, I think things are going to start sorta looking up for our boy, but I don't have the most hope he's gonna get a truly 'happy' ending. I think so much damage has been done already, that spiders always gonna be that character that breaks my heart.

#sorry for such a late response #my brains starting to work again #miles socorro #spider socorro #avatar the way of water #avatar 2 #miles spider socorro

[roselensedeyes]

strike a match, then you blow it out

Hello!

I hope everyone is doing alright! As a little Solstice gift, I decided to write Azriel's bonus chapter from Elain's POV🙈

You can also read it on AO3 here. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!

Pairing: elriel, elain x azriel

Word count: 2.1k

CW: NSFW, angst

Enjoy!

Elain Archeron had a secret. 

One she was keeping not only from her sisters, but her closest friends, too. It was no easy task, considering the two half-wraiths, Nuala and Cerridwen, were spies trained by the Night Court’s spymaster himself. 

Hiding things from Feyre and Nesta was not unusual—she’d been doing it for such a long time to attempt to keep peace between them that she now had trouble choosing what to reveal to them and what not. She hated to think she might disappoint them.

It was, however, strange for Elain not to tell Nuala and Cerridwen things. Ever since the first time she’d met them in those initial months in the Night Court, their affinity had only grown, blooming into her most valued relationship and what felt like her very first friendship. No other had ever understood them at the level Nuala and Cerridwen did. Though they were highly-skilled spies, they couldn’t keep secrets from her just like she couldn’t. 

Yet, here she was.

Brushing her unbounded hair, Elain eyed the small box she could see sitting on her nightstand from the vanity mirror. Letting out a shaky breath, she grabbed it and, clutching it in her hands, slowly descended the stairs. She was going to leave it on the pile of presents, she’d decided. 

She imagined him waking up in the early hours of the morning, before anyone else, like he always did, and finding it. Perhaps he’d smile, maybe even let out a chuckle, before hiding it before Cassian or, Gods forbid, Nesta saw it. Before anyone else saw it. 

Or maybe his shadows would alert him of a new wrapped gift making its way on his pile of presents. Knowing him, Elain thought with a small smile, the curiosity would be too much for him to handle, and he’d end up making his way downstairs to open it—

Her breath caught as her eyes caught with his. Azriel’s.

She hadn’t scented him, nor had she heard his steps. That wasn’t unusual, just like it wasn’t unusual that he seemed to have heard her approach. He was the only person on whom her stealth didn’t seem to work. 

His hazel eyes seemed to shine under the lights, the dark clothes he was wearing fitting nicely on his body.

“I…” Elain had to swallow, her mouth feeling parched all of a sudden. Gods, he was so beautiful. “I was coming to leave this on your pile of presents. I forgot to give it to you earlier.”

They both knew it was a lie. Elain felt foolish, but she didn’t dare let out the truth in the open. 

Her hands were shaking as she took those final steps, closing the distance between them, until a mere foot separated them. “Here,” she said, her breath quickening. 

From here, his night-chilled mist and cedar scent overwhelmed her. Elain inhaled it, thankful he was too busy staring at the gift to notice. Slowly, his fingers unwrapped it. 

She couldn’t stand the silence as he read the note and opened the lid of the box, so she said quietly, “You put them in your ears, and they block any sound. With Nesta and Cassian living there with you…” She trailed off, watching his reaction.

Azriel’s chuckle pleased her. He had liked the present she’d given him the previous Solstice, had hoped he would appreciate this one, too. Nuala had once mentioned in passing that Elain’s humor reminded her of the spymaster’s. “No wonder you didn’t want me to open it in front of everyone.” 

Elain felt her lips twitch into a smile. “Nesta wouldn’t appreciate the joke.” Not yet, at least. Perhaps with time, as her healing progressed, she would not see it as an attack, but simply as it was: a good-spirited joke.

“I wasn’t sure if I should give you your present,” Azriel said, smiling back at her.

In front of your mate, were the unspoken words. She had noticed, of course, the way Azriel’s behavior had changed in the past few months. The way his shadows seemed to deepen whenever Lucien was mentioned, the way his appearances at family dinners had become rare. She had seen him stand by the door the whole night, putting as much distance between them as was physically possible. 

Elain knew Azriel was unsure whether he could cross the line between them. She couldn’t fault him: she hadn’t made a move, either. 

Yet he didn’t seem to mind it too much now as he took a small velvet box his shadows handed him and opened it.

She couldn’t help the soft intake of air at the allure of the necklace before her, the amulet styled after a small, flat rose of stained glass. “It’s beautiful,” she whispered as she lifted it, studying it under the light. “Put it on me?” The words came out before she could really think about them, what they implied. She stilled imperceptibly, but before she could say anything, Azriel took the necklace from her hands and opened the clasp. Heart thundering in her chest, Elain gathered her hair and turned around. The cool air kissed her exposed back. 

Goosebumps traveled across her skin, not at the cold touch of the necklace, but at the way Azriel seemed to linger as he slid the necklace around her, as his fingers brushed her throat. Elain bit her lip again, keeping in the sigh of relief, of desire, of craving at the feel of his rough hands on her.

It happened each time he touched her, when their fingers brushed as they entered a room side by side, when he looked at her, his stare so fixed it was almost tangible. 

Yet he had never gone over the line he’d self-imposed, though she’d hoped he would. Oh, how she’d hoped. The memories were scorching enough to bring a flush to her cheeks.

She pivoted in his touch, his palm now laid flat on her nape. “I should go,” she said. Tell me to stay, she begged him silently.

“Yes,” he agreed. Yet before her heart could tumble to the low of her stomach, his thumb swept across her skin once again. 

It was almost a summoning, his touch. She moved impossibly closer, only a breath of air now stopping their chests from brushing. 

Elain’s core heated as her eyes fell on Azriel’s full, welcoming lips, like it always did each time he looked at her, each time his fingers touched hers. Like all the nights she’d laid in her bed at the river house, one of her hands shyly falling between her legs, attempting to soothe the unending ache she knew only Azriel could ease. She’d imagine all the ways he could pleasure her, the way his eyes would turn molten gold as he finally slid inside her, the way his groans would sound in her ear. She’d have to bite her pillow so hard that even her Fae jaw hurt, soaking her knickers.

She could feel herself becoming damp now, in his arms, his scarred fingers stroking her neck. She longed to know how they’d feel as they explored her most sensitive places. Elain had to suppress a shiver at the thought. 

Azriel’s hold on her turned firmer, drawing her attention to him. There was a question in his eyes. She answered it in kind, giving him her permission to kiss her.

Elain trembled as Azriel’s hand slid from her throat to her hair, gripping it tight. Her eyelids lowered, anticipation burning hotter in the low of her stomach as she awaited his kiss.

A kiss that never came. 

Her heart froze in her chest as his hold disappeared, as she heard him take a step back. She didn���t want to open her eyes. But she knew she had to.

“This was a mistake,” he said gruffly, his voice sounding almost… wrong.

“I’m sorry,” Elain whispered, sounding confused and heartbroken and… Gods, not again.

“You don’t—Don’t apologize. Never apologize. It’s I who should…” His words were contrite, as though it hurt him to say them. He shook his head. “Goodnight.”

Before she could say anything else, he was gone. He winnowed away.

-

The tears wouldn’t come. She was grateful for it, though it meant the ache in her chest kept growing and growing and growing, until it threatened to stifle her. Elain took several deep breaths, yet the pain wouldn’t ease.

She was laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling as she went over what had just happened, trying to find answers to the thousands of questions swimming in her head. Trying to pinpoint the moment things had changed so drastically, trying to understand why she was here, in her room, all alone. 

She hugged one of her pillows to her front, seeking a comfort she knew she was unlikely to find. Slowly, as every word, every breath, every touch replayed in her mind, Elain became aware of something slithering along her arms. An instant later, she felt something tickle her neck, a warmth that wasn’t there a moment before.

Against her better judgment, Elain smiled. “What are you doing here?” The question was whispered. With Fae with extraordinary hearing inhabiting the house, the whispering was necessary if one didn’t want to be overheard. And Elain certainly didn’t want anyone to listen in and storm in her room. For Elain Archeron’s secret would raise too many questions she didn’t want to answer. Not yet, anyway.

We were worried about you, the shadows answered.

She blinked slowly, surprised. Her sisters were always worried about her safety, her wellbeing. They thought her helpless, defenseless, but no one had ever cared about her thoughts, her feelings. 

There is no need for the surprise, Mistress. You know we care about you, they said, perhaps a bit sharply. They never missed anything. They were Azriel’s shadows, after all.

I am fine, she reassured them. At their grumble, she amended, I will be. Eventually.

The shadows stayed quiet for a few beats, before they let out a low, humming sound, accepting her words. 

Is he okay? Elain asked, immediately cursing herself out. Maybe her sisters had a point. She was helpless, especially when it came to men—or, in this case, a male—who broke her heart. 

She didn’t need to specify who she meant. He will be alright. Eventually. The words seemed to mock her, and she turned to glare at the shadows that were nestled in the crook of her neck, though she relished their closeness, their warmth. Elain wondered if Azriel was aware two of his shadows were missing, if he was pondering where they were. If he was thinking about her at all.

She wasn’t at all surprised the shadows refused to tell her anything about their Lord, their Master. She had inquired about him the few times they had joined her, since that first time during the war, in the tent she was hiding herself in. Since they’d come to her when she’d held Azriel’s knife for the first time, gripping it tight in her hands as she wished she had a way to save her sister and Cassian. Since she’d opened her eyes as she felt herself move, and realized the shadows had listened to her distressed pleas and took her right to the King of Hybern and she’d plunged the knife deep in his neck. 

But though the shadows liked her, and recognized her as their Mistress, their loyalty lay with Azriel. They’d always given vague answers to her not-so-subtle inquiries, and Elain’d soon given up hopes of getting answers from them. Yet she knew Azriel didn’t know of the…camaraderie between her and his shadows. She’d never asked them why they hadn’t let their Master know of it. 

Elain was thankful for their silence, now. There was no one but them who could offer her comfort in this.

So Elain laid in her bed as the scene replayed over and over again behind her eyes, the hurt slowly leaving room for anger to take root. 

Never again would she let a male treat her like she was disposable. Never again would she let them make her feel wrong. 

Her heart heavy with all the suppressed emotions, Elain slowly rose from her bed, Azriel’s shadows trailing after her, and walked toward the vanity mirror.

Carefully, she took off the beautiful necklace. She stared at it for a few heartbeats, before slowly shaking her head. It’d do no good, pondering about it. 

Ever so silently, she walked down the stairs.

Exhaling a breath, Elain laid the necklace amid the pile of presents.

She knew Azriel would find it first.

#elain archeron #elain #azriel #acotar #elriel #elriel fic #elain x azriel #pro elriel #elriel fanfiction #azriel x elain

[jotarobutcat]

Turns out sometimes you have to force yourself to heal

Healing can feel impossibly hard, especially when you've internalized unhealthy values from both your parents and the culture around you. This may look like a pretentious middle school essay, but the truth is, I just needed to write about my healing process, and where it all started, somewhere. This will be a long ride, so buckle up.

I might be happier right now if I had just stayed a bigot, and given all the hate inside me just the right amount of fuel it needs to prosper, but I just couldn't do that to my friends. Funnily enough, this whole process started from my best friend coming out to me as transgender, not from some "a-ha!" moment in the middle of the night like most of my decisions.

Back then, I was your average "good Christian girl", or at least that's what I strived for. I didn't have many friends, especially when it came to people I was in contact with outside of the internet. I'd pretty much lost two of the three friends I had in middle school after it ended; one completely cut contact with me and my remaining friend, and one I just... didn't see again, since we took different paths in life and weren't really that close anyway. I'd recently become friends with another person online, and this person was very much open about being LGBTQ+ when asked. I didn't have a problem with that, because "well, he doesn't rub his homosexuality in my face". She knew my views on things as well, since I was open about my religion and how my values followed what I had been taught by my mother and the church as morally right or wrong. Back then, my views on the topic of LGBTQ+ people were, in a nutshell, "I think it's wrong to date a person of the same sex, and so is changing your body from how God created it, but I'm not going to insult, degrade, misgender or deadname people because I'm not an asshole". So in short, I was a bigot, but not a zealot. When my best and only in-real-life friend came out to me as a trans man, I assured him that I had no problem with him being transgender, and would be using his chosen name and pronouns from then on forwards if he wished me to do so. In reality, I was full of confusion, since I didn't really know what being transgender *actually* meant. Now, I could've just left it at that, but I felt that in order to give my friend the full support he needs and deserves, I should be able to at least understand what he's actually going through. At that point, my knowledge of the term trans, when talking about gender, was limited to "people who have changed their sex". It's not too far off, but I had no idea why someone would change it and what exactly counts as a transgender person, since my friend was pre-everything at the time and thus obviously did not fit the definition I had known before.

So, I decided to investigate what being transgender really means. During that time I watched videos a lot from a certain youtuber, and I knew his friend, who had been in some of his videos, had a channel as well and often posted videos reading memes and posts from different LGBTQ+ subreddits. I previously had had no interest in them, but I figured I could give some trans-themed videos a try, because humour is usually what gives the most authentic image of a person, as long as you know how to actually read people, and it's also a popular way to share life experiences and thoughts without making it too serious. I think the first one of these videos I checked out was on the r/egg_irl subreddit. That video was eye-opening. Some of the memes were scarily relatable, and I ended up realizing a while later, after doing some more proper research on what being transgender meant, that I fit the definition myself. Suddenly a lot of things made sense; why I always felt a prideful joy whenever being sorted together with boys or men, and hated it when someone added my name or "and girl" after referring to the group with a masculine term. Why I hated being called pretty or beautiful, and would rather substitute it for being called ugly. Why I had little to no interest in barbies and baby dolls and was fascinated by dinosaurs and my brother's Hot Wheels cars instead. Why I would rather play alone than join other girls in their play in kindergarten, and felt excited and happy whenever any of the boys would let me play together with them instead. Why I always hated dresses so much and secretly wished I could wear a suit, being exhilarated when I finally asked permission to do so and was given the okay without an argument or a fight. Why I always found interest in what the boys in my class were talking about, even if they were annoying, and why I kept secretly wishing I could join their friend group instead even though I got along with the girls just fine. Why I was annoyed by girly things or topics to the point I would actively avoid them, and feel proud for not participating in "girl stuff". Why I'd feel proud of myself whenever I acted "boyish" or "manly" enough. Why I felt proud of being able to sing the national anthem in a low voice. Why I wasn't able to appreciate having a near ideal body for the local female beauty standards. Why I felt ashamed of my breasts and "birthing hips". Why I felt disappointed to the point of near crying when I was given permission by my mother to get my hair cut short, and the hairdresser cut it into a butterfly bob instead of the kind of "boy hair" I had imagined. There were so. many. things. I could lengthen the list even more, especially if I added in things I've only recently realized likely had a connection with my gender incongruence.

This realization eventually led to a big battle between the values I had adopted in early childhood and followed ever since, and the new information about myself that clashed with what I believed was "right by God". This contradiction coupled with all the transphobic gaslighting, both from my family and random people on the internet, and drove me to what I have only been able to describe as an episode of psychotic depression, at least up until now. I felt awful, and hated myself for not being how I thought I "should be". I started wondering if I had just been influenced by the internet and gotten brainwashed, and began doubting the authenticity of my own feelings and thoughts. I couldn't trust myself at all anymore, and now that I think about it, I guess this was probably how my OCD manifested for the first time. It was like my mind split into two, one of which was "me" or "I", the other one being, well, the brain, I guess, and it was hell trying to figure out which thoughts were *mine* and not just something my brain pushed into my head... or something I, or another person, put in my head either on accident or on purpose. It's something I still struggle with sometimes, but being able to identify the problem(s) has helped a lot, and made things a lot less excruciating to deal with at times.

Well, I got over that. Somewhat, at least. I ended up pretty much avoiding thinking about my views on religion in general and basing my life principles on my own opinions instead of "God's". I still have my doubts and guilt, and sometimes fall back into the anxiety of not knowing what I'm doing is right or not. I will definitely have to work these things out in therapy, but I'd like to believe I've made a lot of progress outside of it on my own as well. Transphobia and homophobia aren't the only kinds of unhealthy values I've had to heal myself from. One of the biggest things that has kept me from healing for a long time is the teachings of toxic masculinity, particularly the idea of "only women are emotional". Being a trans man who almost nobody dear to me recognizes as a man, I've been clinging to every little thing that would validate my masculinity, even if it's extremely unhealthy, for years. This didn't start from my realization about my gender, but instead had been going on since elementary school, possibly even longer than that.

I have a tendency of turning into my friends' therapist whenever I get to know they're having a rough time. I feel it's much easier to give advice to people than to look for a solution to my own problems. Maybe it's empathy, maybe it's just avoidance of the shit I should actually sort out, but turns out these backyard therapy sessions can be mutually beneficial. On the internet, different people dealing with similar problems are often drawn together, kind of like stand users. At one point, the advice I gave to my friends dealing with the same problems I had started feeling pretentious. "I go around giving people advice I don't even follow myself... I guess it's grand time I take my own advice and cut myself some slack."

That's where the actual healing process started. When I felt ashamed of the fact I made mistakes and felt like condemning myself for having emotions, I forced myself to tell myself the same things I had told my friends; "Everybody makes mistakes, and while it may feel awful, it's a natural part of life. You're not worth any less for that. We don't have to look for a solution right away." "You're hurting right now, but that's okay. You're allowed to hurt. You don't have to be all happy and bubbly all the time." "That's right. You're angry right now. And that's fine. You're allowed these feelings just like everyone else. Let yourself be angry."

Notice how all of these have to do with self-acceptance? Yeah, that's what a lot of us lack. We condemn the parts of us we, or others, don't like and give ourselves more and more wounds. All of these parts have their right spaces in our hearts, but we keep trying to "heal" those spots, thinking we need to make sure none of these "unpleasant" parts of us have no place in our hearts before we can start healing the actual wounds. In reality, trying to close up the spaces just results in more wounds.

Think about your heart like a crow playing with one of those boxes with different holes for different-shaped objects; if you hide one of the holes, the crow will keep trying to push the corresponding object through a different hole. Some of these objects are small but sharp, and they make scratches on the box when the crow tries to push them through the wrong holes. These scratches hurt a lot, but are often quite quick to heal. Some of these objects are big, but more blunt. They might not hurt as much immediately, but they leave large wounds that affect a bigger area and take a much longer time to heal. Some of these objects have two sides, one big and blunt, one sharp and small, and thus cause different types of wounds depending on where and how you try to put them.

We all have this crow and these objects. The crow is stubborn, and will keep looking for the right places to put the objects until it finds them. None of our crows know where to put these objects from birth, and aren't really that smart, so they will naturally make mistakes and try to shove them in the wrong spots. This causes a lot of scratches and dents on our hearts along the years, and it's easy to feel like it's better to just close your heart to these objects altogether. The crow, though, has no other place to put them, so it will keep looking for the right hole for the object it's holding, because it knows there's supposed to be one, and that will just cause more scratches and dents in the long run.

Our crows also have assigned instructors. Some have prepared in every possible way to make sure the box gets damaged as little as possible. They put in extra effort, even before becoming an instructor, and do a great job at taking care of both the box and the crow. Some try their best to take care of the crow, but haven't really internalized that they also have to teach it to handle the objects and the box. Some are there just because it was on their checklist, and either don't really care about the task at hand, or quickly become overwhelmed and end up hurting the crow, making it confused and unable to find the right places for the objects. Some end up with the job on accident, some were forced into it, some are never around, and some came thinking they were prepared, but ended up giving the crow the worst kind of instructions possible. You could probably guess that the objects are these less pleasant parts of us. Most of them are negative emotions like fear and anger, some of them are painful or traumatic experiences. The crow is the person itself. None of us know how to handle our emotions and experiences from birth, and that's exactly why most of us have been given instructors, which are typically our parents. Our parents can teach us to handle these "objects" properly, but most aren't capable or just willing enough to teach all of the in-and-outs of the subject, so we'll naturally have to figure some stuff out ourselves. After all, we'll be stuck with these objects for the rest of our lives, whether we like them or not. So right now this little crow is trying to figure out the proper way to handle these things, hopefully with an extra instructor (a therapist) in the future. I think I'm doing good at it, especially considering the fact that the only thing I was taught was to keep the objects to myself.

#here come the generic tags #tumblr #healing #healing journey #self love #self care #self reflection #transgender #transmasc #trans pride #trans man #trans rights #thank you #religion #avoidance #emotions #my heart #mindfulness #mind #parenting #therapy #ocd #actually ocd #long reads #long post #essay