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#was fun while it lasted but i don’t feel at home or comfortable on here anymore /gen
coco-loco-nut · 17 hours
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imgonnagetyouback
pairing: logan sargeant x reader
summary: you aren’t sure if you want to destroy his car or take him home with you
a/n: most of this was written late at night and not proofread. love y’all, thanks for answering the poll, that was fun. might do it again
requests open masterlist
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You enter your usual Miami haunt with your friends, one mission in mind. Your lilac skirt fits your like a glove, showing off your legs and curves. It was Logan’s favorite.
Logan was an asshole, he knows it, ever since he broke up with you last year. He’s been keeping tabs on your socials recently, knowing this is where you go when you are in Miami instead of Fort Lauderdale. He brought Oscar with him as moral support, they stand at the bar, laughing over some bubbly drink.
Your eyes scan the club as you walk in, slightly pausing when you recognize the blonde guy staring at you from the bar, you can tell when someone wants you. Instead, you train your eyes on some guy on the dance floor, sending him a flirty smile and joining him for a dance or two, giving Logan a chance to pull himself together before going in. He can’t help but tell Oscar how good you look. The trap has been sprung. You are going to get Logan back. Whether romantically or by revenge, you weren’t sure.
You walk over to the bar, pretending to have not noticed the pair, standing one seat over.
“Tequila shot,” you order and Logan takes his chance.
“Add two more and put it on my tab,” Logan tells the bartender, Oscar gags a little, but doesn’t protest. You give Logan a look he can’t decipher, but you slide into the seat beside them.
“Thanks,” you say, the awkward small talk between the three of you filling the time as you wait for the shots. Logan salts his wrist for his shot. You grab his wrist, lick it, and throw back the shot. Oscar barely suppresses his laugh as you turn to go back to the dance floor. Logan quickly throws back the shot and follows you. Your friends find Oscar and chat, the group curious to see how this pans out.
“Y/n,” Logan catches your wrist, you act like you don’t care about him, but you can see the whispers in his eyes searching if you still love him. It breaks your cold heart a little. “Don’t be mad, please. I never wanted to hurt you,” he says, trying to win you back.
“I’m like your fucking car. You steered me into the fucking ditch then ran off,” you say after a second, turning back towards the crowd, he just pulls you closer.
“I’m so sorry. I hate myself for that,” he admits, you ignore him, dancing to the beat, not pushing him away but not encouraging him to dance with you either. Just when things are feeling too comfortable, you walk away in the direction of the bathrooms. Logan follows.
“Will you give me a chance?” he asks, the music quiet in the background. ‘God, he’s so fucking fine’ you think to yourself. The lighting doing everything right, the shadows enhance his jawline but his eyes shine bright.
“I haven’t decided yet,” your eyes revealing more than you intended. He can see the hurt and love in them. You aren’t sure if you want to curse him out or bring him home.
“What can I do,” he grabs your hands.
“I don’t know. I’m between being your wife or smashing your car,” you say, steeling yourself. Logan is thinking twice, unsure if he was ever yours or was never not yours. Logan pulls your closer, kissing you. Your body automatically responds to him. letting him pull you close.
“You’re mine,” you whisper, the temptation to both flip him off or pull him into the bathroom strong. He follows you back to the dance floor, you can feel the tension and chemistry coming back, electricity humming in the way you dance together. It’s like pressing a reset button, becoming something new. Oscar and your friends left a while ago, knowing the two of you were determined to leave here together from the start.
You tell the cab the address of your Miami apartment. Every moment that passes sees the hurt and past fade to gray.
“Pick your poison, I’m poison either way,” you had told Logan earlier, he chose you anyway, the both of you wanting to play with the broken pieces of your former relationship.
He pushes you against the wall, kissing you passionately.
“Before we do this, where do you stand? If we go ahead, there is no turning back,” Logan stops, needing to know that you belong to him again, you already know he belongs to you.
“I hate you but I love you just the same. I’m gonna get you back,” you tug on his shirt, pulling him back to you, a feral need for him growing.
It wasn’t a surprise to Logan’s friends when you showed up to the Miami paddock later that week.
What was a surprise was the ring around your finger, one that matches the one around Logan’s.
“What the hell?” Oscar asks, a smile on his face.
“I’m not going to let her go again,” Logan looks down at you with a smile.
“I chose to love him till the end, luckily for Sauber,” you joke, referencing the team who decided to take a chance on Logan and help him develop.
“I’m happy for you two,” Oscar says, happy to see his best friend happy. Everyone but your parents were happy for you, the parents were just mad you got married without them there.
“I am too, but I will take it out on his car if he hurts me again,” you tell Oscar, joking but not joking. Logan just holds you closer. You both told each other about your plans to get each back, it caused a lot of laughter.
“That’s my wife,” he grins proudly. Oscar shakes his head at his friends.
“You did what!” Alex runs over to the two of you. “Where was my invite? Oh, glad to have you back Y/n, Lily missed you,” Alex says, as the two of you just laugh.
instagram
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y/nsargeant what if i told you i’m a mastermind, and now your mine ❤️
logansargeant it was all by design ❤️
oscarpiastri not letting the two of you go back to a club, Y/n will end up pregnant or something
y/friend1 you both took getting each other back a little too seriously. this is why i love you
user1 hold up, since when were mom and dad back together??
user2 AND MARRIED??
y/friend2 you really went to the club heartbroken and left ready to get married😭 ilysm
alexalbon they are so unserious 😭
sauberf1 when did this happen? LOGAN??? we’re not mad. pick up your phone
charlesleclerc ^^^
carlossainz55 ^^^
landonorris ^^^
georgerussell iconic
y/nsargeant thanks pookie 🫶
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actualtoad · 2 years
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this has been such a weird last couple weeks of school though
#like i feel like my mental illness really pushed itself to the front for the last while there#not that it’s gone like im still within that time period i think#i just feel like i had a pretty regular routine going for some months there#like. wake up get on bus sleep on bus struggle through classes go home sleep wake up repeat#so i guess i was already pretty mentally ill. but my routine has changed to like#wake up at 3:30 wake up again at 7 get on bus sleep a little struggle through first hour sleep through second hour skip third hour#don’t turn in my fourth hour assignments go to french and pretend to be happy go to raider time and be uncomfortably quiet and then#stay after school for as long as possible to avoid setting foot at home for as long as possible#and then add in a couple mental breakdowns per week about the only adult who’s ever been like. kind. to me. in this way#anyway my math class just started and it’s just going to be a straightforward work day#our college grades are finalized but for the high school grade we’re allowed to retake any tests we did badly on#so i might retake the chapter five test. im just worried that i might do worse this time around#but anyway for today that’s not what we’re doing that. that’s an option for next week. im just going to stay here#but yeah. idk. im still filled with a huge amount of fear just about the idea of not having somewhere to go#like. i can’t drive. if the school bus isn’t taking me to school every day i just don’t have the support system i have during the year#idk. tara and elanor both live within walking distance. i just. definitely don’t feel that comfortable talking to them about stuff#or asking them for help with anything that’s very important#hey i just found out the kid who ‘‘prefers to be called daddy’’ dropped this class. good for us#can i tell you how uncomfortable it is. as the only person in this class with a name different from the one on the roster#for this random kid to be out here making fun of the idea of that#and saying he prefers to be called DADDY. it was. an interesting thing#to be fair it’s kind of funny. it just made me uncomfortable and he’s for sure transphobic so#it just wasn’t a good look all in all. even if it was a little creative#anyway my playlist is playing twinkle lights by the sonder bombs now. i love this song too. im going to turn off tumblr though#just out of respect for my teacher. i guess. like i should be doing something important right now#he gave us a work day and i should probably work about it#me. my post. mine.#delete later
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actiniumwrites · 1 year
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Not sure if you’re taking request still but if you are was wondering if you could right abt reader hiding their fever from Tighnari or Diluc (or both)
𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑
synopsis: in which you try to hide your sickness from them, just trying to stay out of their way, except it doesn’t quite go to plan
characters: heizou, thoma, tighnari, dottore, and childe x gn!reader (separately)
warnings: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort, descriptions of being sick, a tiny bit of swearing, established relationships
notes: thanks for the request! i tried pretty hard to come up with something for diluc but i wasn’t able to so i just did tighnari. i also added in some other characters, hope that’s okay :) also reminder that this is a relatively old request and i’m not actively taking requests!
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heizou:
you hadn’t intended to ever hide your sickness from him, honestly
you woke up with the incoming feeling of what you assumed was a fever. your temperature was high and you felt fatigued
still, when your red haired boyfriend came prancing into your shared bedroom excitedly shaking your shoulders begging you to join him on his day off, you felt as though you couldn’t refuse
he was just so happy and you didn’t want to ruin that, not when he had been so stressed recently
walking around ritou with him seemed to be alright
the weather wasn’t bad and he even took you to a few shops for some lunch and souvenirs
but as the time passed, your head felt dizzier and your eyes stung a bit. the red of the maple trees was blending with the blue of the sky and the shops around began to spin
“are you okay?” he had asked worriedly, noticing your eyes began to droop and the overall fatigue you seemed to be experiencing
he put a hand to your forehead and noticed the burning sensation and light sweat building quickly
“shit, you’re sick? why didn’t you say anything?” he asked as he began to rush you home. his arms were around you, steadying you against him
“you were so excited,” you mumble against his shoulder, “i didn’t wanna ruin that, but it looks like i did anyway.”
the detective’s heart ached as the words left your mouth, he couldn’t believe you would say something like that, “please don’t say that again. your health matters way more than my fun, don’t ever forget that.”
when you got home, you fell asleep quickly, all snuggled up in the warm covers
heizou dimmed the lights and brought some medicine and water to place on the table next to you for when you woke up
as he got in the bed with you, he made sure to pull the blankets snuggly over you and bring you closer to his chest and placing a small kiss to your forehead
“i love you,” he whispered before shutting his eyes and holding you close.
thoma:
thoma hadn’t asked you to help him with chores, but here you were…helping him with chores
although the weather was beautiful, it was spring and in influx of new leaves and all sorts of pollen was in the air and on the floors of the estate
you were kind enough to help your boyfriend out with all of the spring cleaning to prevent him from getting stressed
unfortunately, it only lead to you getting stressed and consequently sick
you had already felt the oncomings of sickness for the past week
from various headaches, lack of sleep, the inability to eat, all the way to a runny nose and sore throat — you knew it was only going to worsen, but still clung to the hope it was just spring allergies
still, you chose to help him anyway while also leaving out the details of your sickness
about two hours had passed since your last break before fatigue hit you hard. the rake you had been using to gather fallen flowers was now leaned against the wall
your arm was resting against the railing to balance yourself as you sat on the small set of stairs under the shade
“thoma,” you called out to him through shut eyes and rushed breaths, “i’m so sorry, i- i don’t think i can help you anymore.”
he ran to you almost instantly, dropping everything in his hands to check if you were okay
when he saw you weren’t, he rushed you inside to your guys’ shared room
“oh archons, i’m so sorry i didn’t notice! you really didn’t have to help me if you weren’t feeling good,” he apologized, urgently trying to help you
it was like that for hours after
he was constantly apologizing for not noticing and you could tell he truly felt bad
he even brought you fresh homemade soup and anything else you so desired. you name it, he got it
at the end of the day, he fell asleep alongside you, swearing to stay by you until you felt better.
he didn’t even care if he got sick. if it was for you, it was worth it
tighnari:
tighnari had been frustrated all week
you had noticed that almost instantaneously and even if you hadn’t, all of his grumbling, dark eye bags (which he never seemed to have), and the distance he was placing between you would have made it blatantly obvious
he didn’t seem himself as of late and that made you feel a bit down yourself
eventually it got to the point where his mood was dampening everyone else’s and you had fallen ill
the forest watcher was so stressed that he hadn’t even noticed
you had tried to tell him when he requested you help him with collecting samples of withered areas, but he was quick to shut you down before hearing you out, requesting that you, “please just help me without complaining.”
under normal circumstances, you would have told him off and not allowed him to dictate over you like that, but you weren’t feeling well at all and didn’t have the energy to argue
besides, it would only be an hour and a half right? you figured you could get through that
you should’ve known what you were getting into. your boyfriend always took longer than expected, though you hadn’t expected an hour and a half to turn into two, which then turned into three
when you realized the time, you began to ask to go home and just come back tomorrow. it was getting dark and was definitely a reasonable request of him
but tighnari wasn’t in the mood and he brushed you off, choosing not to answer your question
moments later, his equipment fell and broke — almost as if karma had struck him
he was never one to lose his cool so easily, but here he was yelling at nothing and kicking his bag over
when you had asked him to calm down, he refused and snapped at you too.
he didn’t mean it — you knew that, but you couldn’t help but feel like he did. like he meant to snap at you and that all his anger was somehow your fault
mixed with the fatigue and shivers from your now fully developed fever, your eyes drooped and you fell forward into unconsciousness
hours had passed before you awoke. but when you did, you found tighnari right by your side handing you a cup of water and some of his homemade medicine
“i’m so sorry,” he started quickly, stumbling over his words as he tried to apologize, “i was so selfish forcing you to go with me. i mean, what kind of boyfriend doesn’t even notice when their partner is sick?”
you cough before responding, “you were a little harsh, but it’s okay now. you were just stressed and no one was around to help you out when you needed it, so don’t feel too bad okay?”
he nodded sadly and fell against your lap, still guilt-stricken by his lack of awareness and clouded mind from just a mere few hours ago
he would take the next week off he decided. taking care of you was more important and he had a lot of making up to do
dottore:
you weren’t surprised the doctor had failed to recognize the fact that you were sick
while he was a doctor, he wasn’t one that cared for his patients or anyone besides himself
when he had called you to his lab early one morning to aid him in some lab work, you knew there was no chance of it ending well
you loved him, you really did, but your boyfriend was pushy. and when his mind was set on something, it became the most important thing to him
today he had asked for your assistance in his lab for whatever new experiment he had conjured up this time
initially, you refused as you weren’t feeling well and didn’t have the energy
but, as aforementioned, dottore is a stubborn man and wouldn’t take no for an answer
“dottore, i’m not feeling we—“ you tried to argue with him
“ah ah, i do not care what excuse you have this time. i need your help and only your help.”
he didn’t even hear you out
so you sucked it up and helped him
about an hour had passed when you began feeling strained
back and forth of reaching for different materials and finding information for him became too much
“can we just take a break?” you breathed out heavily, immune system weak from your sickness
“no, what did i tell you? it is imperative that we do not stop until this is finished,” he stops for a moment, tone softening as he turns to you, “i’ll take you out to that place you’ve been wanting to try later, i promise. just, help me with this and we can go.”
you smile at the offer, happy he was finally making the time to go out with you, but it wasn’t enough
as soon as he asked for the next object, your dizziness kicked in as your neck craned to see it up on the high shelves of his lab
and the next thing dottore heard was a thud with you on the ground
“dottore… i can’t— i’m so sorry,” tears pool at your eyes as your fever worsens
he helps you up with a stern look, his arms wrapped around yours as he pulls you closer to inspect your face, “why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”
“are you serious? i did tell you! you didn’t listen to me,” you exclaim
dottore softens in the way he only does around you, quietly offering you an apology and his coat to warm up your shivering body “i apologize, my love. i should not have been so neglectful of my own partner.”
he’s careful as he carries you to your shared bed and wraps you up:
“how about that restaurant? i’ll pick up whatever you want.”
childe:
sometimes childe can be a literal child. you knew that when the two of you began dating. sometimes you minded, other times you didn’t
he had a way of nagging when he wanted things and whining when he didn’t get them
you hadn’t gotten out of bed all morning and childe was getting impatient, hoping you would spar with him today for fun
you didn’t bother to tell him you were sick, thinking that he’d eventually realize later in the day
but childe was having one of those days and didn’t have a care in the world for anyone but himself
he came in to your shared room and collapsed on you, completely missing the pained grunt you let out as complaints flew left and right out of his mouth
things like: “spar with me, please!” and “c’mon we haven’t challenged each other in so long!” among many other complaints
he was right, it had been along time. and while you didn’t exactly want to spar with him today, you figured if you just indulged him for one round he would let it go
so you got up and got your equipment desperately trying to ignore the pounding of your headache
childe was beaming with excitement as he kissed your cheek and ran out to grab his equipment
when you got outside to join him, the chilly wind of snezhnaya bit at your skin and made your nose run faster than it had been before
childe quickly went in for a few hits, you dodged them and countered him quickly
it seemed to increase his determination as he charged at you effectively hitting you in the side
you didn’t let it affect you too much, aside from a bit of coughing which your boyfriend had chalked up to being from the impact of the hit
you had only lasted ten minutes longer before he landed one last hit, knocking you to the ground
“oh, c’mon! that one wasn’t even that bad. don’t tell me you can’t handle a hit that weak!” he laughed, just teasing you
you bent over on your hands and knees, violently coughing as tears poured out from your eyes
“hey hey hey, what’s wrong?” childe panicked as he dropped to his knees next to you with one hand placed on your back to support you
his hand reached your forehead, feeling a burning sensation, “woah, you’re burning up! why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”
“you were—“ you were cut off by your coughs, “so excited to spar. i figured if i just indulged you for a round or two i’d be fine…”
“hey, you didn’t have to do that,” he said softly, “i would’ve understood if you just told me. i care more about you than fighting, you know that.”
childe picked you up quickly and brought you back inside your shared home and to your bed, wrapping you up cozily under the covers before joining you
“childe, no— you’ll get sick,” you tried to push him away.
he smiled and firmly placed a kiss on your lips,“oh c’mon, when have i ever cared about that?”
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ponderingmoonlight · 6 months
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would you be able/want to do something with gojo where him and the reader are both teachers and are in an established relationship but the student (aside from megumi) don’t know and start trying to figure out who gojo’s in a relationship with? i feel like gojo would either mess with them or be honest that it’s you but they just don’t believe him cause. yk. it’s you?
Hey, thank you so much for that great request, it was really fun to write! I mixed it up a little with an already existing fic of mine, I hope you don't mind. Let me know what you think <3
Part l to this fic can be found here
Gojo going nuts when his students don't believe him that you are his wife
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Pairing: husband!Gojo x fem!reader
Word Count: 1,5k
Synopsis: When Satoru wears his wedding ring for the first time in front of his students, Nobara can't help but wonder who he's married to. But when Gojo confesses it's you, his students just don't believe him.
Warnings: language, sad Gojo lol, this is an absolute comfort fanfic so there you go if that's what you need today, read part l if you haven't yet <3
Tags:  @arehzhera @ploylulla @tzubaki @beatrexworld @kenstarsworld @dazaisdick @hellkaiserinphoenix  @lauv4chuuya @shadowfoxey @starlightanyaaa @sindela @kayleegomez @sunshine7queen @magalimachete @mokoartpost @gatitam @idontknow1123 @creative1writings @sanicsmut  @mynahx3
„Itadori!“ Nobara hisses through gritted teeth.
“Did you just see that?”
“What do you mean?”, Yuji remarks with doe-eyes, gazing up at her with no clue what she’s even talking about.
“That ring on Gojo-sensei’s finger, you idiot”, she barks back at him while frantically running to the door in order to catch one last glimpse at him.
“Is he by any chance married, Fushiguro?”
Megumi signs to himself, staring at Nobara in nothing but annoyance. That talk from last week where she literally forced you to describe Gojo still doesn’t sit right with him. Of course, Megumi knows about your relationship. After all, he’s been with both of you for many years now, witnessed countless times how Gojo caresses your cheek gently in the darkness of privacy, how he calls you “darling” around the house and passes out on the couch next to you 10 minutes into a movie. And even though both of you never talked about this whole marriage being private thing, Megumi simply refuses to talk about your love life – even with his friends.
“I have no idea. But maybe minding your own business will help with your complexion or something”, Megumi bites back.
All of the sudden, Nobara smacks the back of his head hard.
“Hey, that’s pretty mean, you don’t have to be so rough!” Yuji complains in an instant.
“Both of you, shut up. I will just ask him when he returns. Why wouldn’t he tell me?”
“There are actually a lot of reasons not to tell you…”
“SHUT YOUR MOUTH FUSHIGURO!”
“Huh, what’s going on here? I’ve been gone for a minute and you’re already smacking your heads?”
Casually, Satoru sits down behind is desk, long legs stretched out in front of him while nipping at the coffee you just made him. Oh, how much he loves to pay you a small visit during work. Just to be assured that you’re fine, that the second years don’t get on your nerves while training them. He just loves to adore you from afar. Yes, and the minute he gets home, you’re all his and his alone.
“You’re wearing a ring on your finger”, Nobara suddenly blurts out.
Satoru tils his head to the side, gaze wandering over his wedding ring. While he normally never wears it in fear of losing it during some stupid mission, today is your anniversary. The urge to proudly show off his ring became much greater than any anxiety. Also, today is a teaching only day and he’ll return home with you by his side after this lesson is over. The things he has planned for both of you tonight…He smirks to himself, joyful like a child when thinking about the surprise that’s waiting for you at home.
“Gojo-sensei!”
Megumi’s urgent voice rips him out of his daydreams.
“So what? A ring has many meanings”, Satoru replies calmly.
You never talked about this. While you seem to silently agree that showing each other affection at Jujutsu High isn’t what you want and that you are keen to keep your relationship private, you never talked this through. Last week when you described Satoru Gojo so well as your favourite type of men, you never said his name once, probably turned completely red when Yuji mentioned it so casually.
“Yeah, like being married for example!”
“Maybe I am, who knows?”
Satoru intertwines his fingers behind the back of his head, smirking at Nobara who is close to lose her mind widely.
“Maybe you should leave him alone…”, Yuji suggests in hushed tones.
“Maybe you should shut up, Itadori. This is far too important to let it slide!”
“You are way too dramatic about this.”, Megumi comments dryly.
“You guys just don’t understand the magic behind this!”
“So you want to know what this ring means?”
Nobara’s eyes light up in an instant, filled with so much unveiled curiosity that Gojo can’t help but wonder why she is never this invested when it comes to learning.
“Please tell me!”
Let’s see what happens.
“This is my wedding ring. I’m married to (y/n) for three years by now.”
Thick silence, utter speechlessness. The expression on Nobara’s face is so priceless that the urge inside Satoru to take a picture and show it to you later almost becomes unbearable.
“What’s up, Kugisaki? Did you see a ghost?”
“There’s no way in hell this is true”, Nobara mutters into Yuji’s ear, which earns a serious nod from the pink-haired boy.
Wait, what? Satoru furrows his eyebrows while gazing at the girl in front of him in disbelief. What did she just say?
“Why on earth couldn’t this be true, huh?”, he barks at her, hands clenched into fists.
“(y/n) is a real sweetheart with great taste. I just don’t think she would get involved with someone like you. Also, she said that she likes muscular man. And she never wore a ring”, Nobara explains briefly, earning a death stare from Satoru Gojo himself.
Both Yuji and Nobara eye him up and down, critical expression plastered on their faces while whispering unclear things into each other’s ear.
Satoru is on the brick of losing it. Did his students just suggest that you are too good for him? And that he’s not muscular!?
“I am muscular!”, he cries out.
“Megumi-chan, tell them I’m married to (y/n).”
If the ground would be able to swallow Megumi whole, he would take that offer in an instant. They already discussed this stupid matter for over 10 minutes now, when will the lesson finally start?
“Don’t drag me into this. Just do your job”, Megumi mumbles in annoyance.
Of course, Satoru is very aware of the fact that you are striking gorgeous, popular even beyond the boundaries of Jujutsu High. Damn, even here there might be some men who’d want you. But he is the strongest, he is good-looking, he is funny…Why on earth wouldn’t you be married to him?
“See? Nice try Gojo-sensei, but we don’t fall for your shit.”
He can’t believe his ears, face so red that Megumi slides back in his chair just in chase.
“You brats have absolutely no idea what love actually is! I won’t let you tell me who I’m married to or not!”, Satoru spits at his students, catching the attention of you.
Huh, what’s going on inside that classroom? You were on your way to grab some cursed weapons to show Maki, but the way your husband’s furious voice is heard through the entire hall makes you stop in front of his slightly opened door.
“Why are you screaming around here, Sir?”, you question, gazing at Nobara in confusion as she almost breaks down in tears from laughing her ass off.
“(y/n), darling, tell my students that you are my wife!”, Satoru demands.
Is that why he’s so stressed, because he wanted to tell his students that the both of you are married? What is going on here?
“I already told him multiple times we don’t believe him. Last week you said you like muscular man-“
“I AM MUSCULAR!”
You desperately try to hold back a laughter, the stressed out look on your husband’s face being enough to let a little giggle escape your lips. How on earth did that topic even pop up? Your gazer wanders to the wedding ring on his cramped finger, heart filling with warmth in an instant. Oh, he really wears it.
“Maybe he’s wearing that ring only for attention…”, Nobara whispers into Yuji’s ear.
“This is getting ridiculous”, Megumi comments.
“Why don’t we all just calm down a little? Your lesson started 15 minutes ago, why are you still arguing around?”, you playfully throw at your husband.
Despite the fact that you want to throw yourself in his arms right away, you keep your cool composure. This is what he gets for picking on you last week. You’ll make him suffer just the way he did it to you.
“You are supposed to help me with this!”, he complains.
“I am supposed to work right now”, you reply sweetly before turning on your heels and closing the door.
You can’t hold back any longer. Tears start to tickle in your eyes, that priceless look on his face. Oh god, you can’t stop laughing. This evening will definitely be entertaining.
-in the evening-
“Hello, stranger”, you playfully greet your husband as soon as he returns from work, blue orbs almost piercing through you.
“You are supposed to help me! Why didn’t they believe me? I’m I really that much of a downgrade compared to you?”
That little pout forming on his delicate face warms your heart in an instant.
“Maybe it’s better this way. I like to enjoy my time with you in privacy. Nice try though”, you playfully remark, your hands gently running through his soft white hair.
Suddenly he grabs your legs, pulling your body up in the air while all you can to is shriek and laugh out lough. He carries you into the bedroom, letting your body fall onto the soft mattress.
“I will make you pay for not helping me out today you traitor.”
“Then I’m happy to be a traitor.”
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shu-porang-porang · 3 months
Text
Love Me Until I Love Myself
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♡♡♡ Minho wants to make sure you know he loves you ♡♡♡
Pairs: Lee Minho (Lee Know) / fem!reader
Rating: Explicit
Theme: Angst, Fluff, Smut, 18+ NO MINORS.
Warnings: oral (female receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex (do not try at home!), reader is insecure and doesn't like herself
Word count: 3 k
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You and your boyfriend are on the ride back home from an awards show after party. It was exhausting. You used to think they must be fun, getting to chat and party with celebrities, but nope. You’re not built for this. You wonder how he could do it, especially after performing those taxing choreos. You could never. All night he was so bubbly and cheerful, while you tried to hide in shadows and attract as little attention as possible. Well, it’s not like people cared about you anyway, you were an outsider, a peasant who was offered a chance at a royal ball.
Halfway through it you questioned why you even accepted to participate, and then right away, you remembered why. Another girl approached him, congratulating him on their win and talking about memories you weren’t a part of, laughing at inside jokes you couldn’t understand. Of course, he would be comfortable with these girls, they’re coworkers after all! He’s known some of them for ages, way before you guys met, and of course you had no right to tell him to stay away from them or anything. The best you could do was to stick around, so the girls were aware of you as his girlfriend, or he knew you were there, lest he decided to do something naughty with one of them...
You know you’re being unreasonable; you know he’s loyal, and they’re just friends, some of them are even like his little sisters, but you can’t get these thoughts out of your head. Your insecurities won’t let you. After all, those girls are famous idols, loved by millions, always so dolled up and pretty, acting cute and shit. You think it’s just a matter of time before Minho realizes the timid plain you ain’t good enough for a star like him. Although he always fondly smiles at your dorky made up dance moves, you think some performer who could actually dance and shared his passion for dancing would be more appealing to him. You feel you lack a lot, and you can’t justify why someone like him would be interested in someone like you.
You feel pathetic. You let out a sigh subconsciously and Minho gently puts a hand on your thigh, asking if you’re ok. You reply with a nod and a weak smile. You’re afraid if you try to talk, tears may spill. His hand remains on your thigh, so you hold it to calm yourself down. His soft hand that you love so much. You love everything about him, you’re crazy about him. You wish you didn’t love him so much, then he couldn’t one day break your heart. You wish you were another person, well, you wished that almost your entire life until you met him. Having him, convinced you that you were alright, the person who you were and hated for so long, was the same person who got you to him, so it was alright. But here you are again, doubting yourself. You think you’re just broken and can never be fully fixed. So maybe it wouldn’t be fair to expect him to stick with you…
You arrive at Minho’s place. You moved in with him a few months back, so it’s technically your place too, but you don’t dare to indulge yourself in that idea, you think you don’t deserve it, you’ll lose it soon, so better to not get attached, but it’s already too late.
Home, at last. As soon as you enter, you are greeted by the cats. Minho picks one up cooing at it. You walk past by him into the bedroom. You just wanna rid yourself of the party attire and go to sleep, right now the only thing that could stop your train of horrible thoughts is sleep.
Minho joins you soon after, walks towards you and wraps his arms around you from behind as you’re taking your jewelry off in front of the mirror. He nuzzles his nose against your neck, inhaling your scent.
“Hey let go, I’m tired. Just wanna get out of this dress and go to bed.”
“But I want you to stay in this dress a bit longer. You looked so pretty tonight, babe” he leaves kisses on your exposed shoulder that make your breath hitch in your throat. But you’re still upset about the bleak night you had.
“Oh, is that why you spent the whole time talking to other girls while I was sitting right there?” Your bottled up emotions force you to blurt out.
He lifts his head up, looking you in the eyes through the mirror. His expression is baffled, he’s trying to figure out what he did wrong.
“What are you talking about? I thought we had a nice time there!”
“Well, you obviously had, giggling with them all night.”
You try to break free from his arms but he won’t budge.
“Hey! You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s exactly wrong.”
You try to form sentences that would explain why you’re feeling like this, but you feel stupid for bringing it up in the first place. You break into tears as you’re tired and helpless and don’t even know how to make sense of your feelings. Silent tears start streaming down your cheeks, you’re never one to sob loudly. Worries written all over his face.
“Baby tell me. What did I do? Did someone say something to you?”
You shake your head “no”. He lifts you up and carries you to bed, sitting you on his lap. You show no resistance, your hands are balled up on your lap and your head is down, trying to cover your crying face with the lose strands of your hair, which he tucks behind your ear immediately. His thumb is caressing your tear-stricken cheek. His other hand is soothingly massaging your thigh.
“It’s okay baby, you can talk to me. Please. It really hurts me to see you like this and not be able to do anything about it. Tell me what’s wrong sweetie. We’re gonna fix it together.”
You don’t wanna hurt him. Hurting him is the last thing you would do. So, you try to fight the tears and speak.
“I… seeing you tonight… the girls all pretty and talented… the things you have in common… how close you are… I wonder… how long… till you realize……….”
“Till I realize what baby?”
“I’m not… good enough” your voice is shaky, again on the verge of tears.
He’s in disbelief. His mouth slightly agape in shock. His grip on your waist tightens.
“Why would you even think that?” he says as if asking himself, not really waiting for a response from you.
His brows are furrowed. He’s thinking to himself.
“I get it now. You were sitting right there, and I kept talking to other people as if you weren’t. But I just thought you weren’t taking part in conversations coz you didn’t want to be bothered… but you actually felt excluded from them. Is that right?”
“Almost. That alone wasn’t a problem, but it made me think you deserve to be with someone who’s more like them and less like me…”
“Woah! Where did you get that from?”
“You’re too good for me… it can’t be right. I’m afraid you’re wasting your time with me…”
“Hey! You don’t get to decide that for me! Do you think I couldn’t have any of those girls if I wanted? The thing is, I don’t want them, I want you.”
“Why do you even love me? Even I can’t love myself…”
“Where should I begin? I love everything about you, and I make that my first priority from now on, to make you see all the things I love in you, and to make you love them too.” He finishes his sentence with a soft kiss on your collarbone.
He plants a few more kisses on the expanse of your chest before pulling back and looking into your glossy eyes. You give him a thankful smile as your hands reach for his nape and pull him in for a kiss. His lips feel like heaven against yours, soft and plump. The kiss starts with languid movements of your mouths. Neither of you are in a hurry, you both need to savor this moment. He drags his tongue on your bottom lip and you let it in. As your tongues are dancing, the temperature rises. His hand that was on your waist, travels up to grope at your clothed breast, the other hand is tangled in your hair, keeping your head in place for him to abuse your lips.
He lays you on your back on the bed, momentarily disconnecting your lips which makes you whimper in loss. It encourages him to get back to kissing with even more fervor. His hands are pulling the straps of your dress down, trying to gain access to your breasts. He trails kisses down your jaw and across the column of your neck, to your shoulders and collarbone. They alternate between feather like pecks to purplish hickeys. He can’t decide what he wants. He wants it all, he wants all of you, he can’t get enough.
He stops to admire his work of art. A hand cups your cheek gently which you lean into, closing your eyes.
“You’re so perfect baby,” He plants a kiss to your forehead. “Even in my wildest imaginations I couldn’t picture someone this pretty,” Another kiss to your nose. “Inside and out.”
You open your eyes to see his lovingly stare back. You pull him in for another taste of his lips.
“So, do you still wanna get rid of this dress?”
“I do, if you want to.”
“As gorgeous as you look, I can’t wait to see what’s underneath.”
He takes it off and your left in nothing but your black lace panties. You tug at his dress shirt, signaling him to take it off too, which he complies, followed by the unbuckling of his belt and his pants follow suit.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I want you to never forget that.” He says as he hovers over you once again. You open your arms to invite him into your hug. He lowers his body onto yours, slightly circling his hips against your crotch. You feel him twitch in his boxers.
“We don’t have to do it if you’re not in the mood, you know.” He says searching your eyes.
“I want it baby, I need you, I really do.” You say as your hands are mapping his toned chest.
With a little smirk on his lips, he goes back to business. He kisses your chest, right above your racing heart, then latches his mouth to your left nipple. He sucks and bites at it till its raw, while trying to give the same amount of attention to the right one between his fingers. You squirm beneath him as your nipples get too sensitive and can’t handle more. He gets the cue and snaps out of his uncontrollable desire to ruin them. Instead, he gives them both kitten licks and pecks in turn, to compensate for the rough treatment they just received.
Moving down your naval, he’s all soft and sweet with butterfly kisses, loving pecks and whispering sweet nothings in between. He’s slotted between your thighs as he reaches your core. Eyes darting up to ask for your permission one last time before he’s completely unstoppable. You give him a nod and he places a kiss to your clothed mound. He teases by nudging his nose to your clit and licking a stripe from your hole to it. Tasting the arousal leaking through the fabric, he lets out a satisfied hum that sends shivers up your spine. You’re growing impatient but he’s taking his sweet time with peppering your inner thighs with kisses and hickeys. You feel more of your juices flowing out and you buck your hips up.
“Stay still princess. Let me take care of you, hm?”
“Minho… please…” You whine. You trust him that he’ll take good care of you, but you can’t wait anymore.
He finally gets rid of your panties and the cool air hits your pussy, followed by warm puffs of his breath.
“So pretty… all mine” He says before diving down and starting to make out with your pussy lips. The lewd noises that fill the room make you forget why you were even upset earlier. The only thing you don’t like about this moment is how little pressure he’s putting on your clit, enough to keep your juices flowing, but not enough to make them gush out all at once. You’re a moaning mess, your fingers pulling at his roots, trying to keep his face close to your core. He’s finally sucking at your clit, suddenly the pleasure gets overwhelming as he inserts two fingers inside you. You feel the knot in your stomach tightening to a snap. A few more strokes of his tongue and your coming undone. Your thighs shake around his head, one of his hands comes up to fondle your breast, his mouth still attached to your core, drinking the elixir of life straight from the fountain. He waits for you to ride your orgasm before he crawls back on top and gives you a taste of yourself. His mouth and chin are glistening with your juices. What a sight to see! You feel extremely lucky to be the one who caused this scene.
“That was …amazing… Thank you” you say while trying to find the normal rhythm of your breath.
“I told you I know how to take care of my girl.”
“Now it’s your turn.” You push him on his back and now you’re on top.
First thing you do is taking his boxers off and finally freeing his aching cock. You wonder how he managed to focus on pleasuring you while he was this hard. The sight alone makes you all turned on again. You thought you’d need more time to build a second orgasm, but you’re already throbbing.
Now it’s your turn to mark him, to shower him with kisses, to try and pour as much love as possible onto your every touch. Starting from the sensitive spot on his neck, you know you can’t mark him here, still you suck it a bit harsher than you should. You leave open-mouthed kisses all over his chest and where it is safe, give him a few hickeys too. You lovingly kiss the scar on his abdomen, the fact that it’s another thing that only a few have seen and you’re one of those few, is really endearing to you.
His member is twitching between your bodies. You slide your wet pussy on it, earning a groan from him. You decide he deserves a quicker release, so you stop grinding to hold it and align it with your entrance but he stops you.
“Wait baby. Let me do it.” He says as he’s stopping your hips from moving.
You’re confused but you go with it. He gets on top again.
“Tonight is about showing my baby how much I love her.” He says with a fond smile.
“I wanna make sure everything feels good for you.” He puts a pillow under your hips to gain a better angle. He inserts the two fingers from before in your pussy, checking how wet you are and scissoring them to loosen the muscles.
“Minnie I’m fine… it’s not my first time…” you try to say in between gasps as his fingers alone are doing wonders inside of you.
“Oh but it is sweetheart. I’m gonna love you all over again.” He inserts a third finger.
“Gonna make sure to give you all the love you deserve.”
He clashes his lips to yours as he replaces his fingers with the tip of his cock. The stretch is pleasant, you want more of it. You moan in his mouth as he slowly inches inside you until he finally bottoms out. He stays still, your warmth engulfing him, turns his brains to mush.
He whispers in your ear: “I love you so much”
He starts moving as he nibs at your earlobe, giving you words of praise now and then. Your arms wrap impossibly tight around his shoulders, leaving no space between your chests.
He slowly picks up his pace. Your nails are digging to his biceps now. Beautiful moans fill the room. His lips won’t leave your skin for more than 3 seconds. He pats down your left arm till he reaches your hand and your fingers intertwine as if they have brains of their own. He pins it above your head and his other hand is beside your head, supporting his weight as his movements get faster and less precise.
“ ’m close…” you manage to let out.
“Go ahead… I’m right… behind you”
A few more thrusts and you’re second orgasm hits you as your head falls back and your eyes screw shut, his name like a prayer on your lips. You’ve made a habit out of saying his name every time you came or it wouldn’t feel right.
As your walls convulse around him, he can’t hold it back anymore. Ropes of white hot liquid paint your walls. He collapses on top of you. He tries to pull out but you stop him.
“Wanna stay connected to you a bit more…” You wish you could merge with him into one person, but having him inside a bit longer, would do too.
His head finds its place in the crook of your neck. One of your hands is in his hair and the other is resting on his back. You whisper a “I love you” to his hair and kiss the top of his head and he lets out a sigh. You don’t want this moment to end. If he can love you this much, maybe you should give it a try too.
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hippiepowrs · 1 month
Text
one night lookin' pretty
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eddie munson x fem!metalhead!reader
you and eddie hate school dances, but you decide to go to the prom this year--with someone who isn't eddie. eddie does not like that, but can't say anything.
a/n: this is my first longer fic so i hope you like it. prom season is coming up so this is kinda self indulgent (as if all my fics aren't). this one is for all my weird girls out there! title from one night in the city by dio btw. :)
warnings: hurt/comfort. angsty for a while but gets fluffy. swearing. a guy being a total asshole to reader. reader wears a dress. reader and eddie both self-described as 'freak.' eddie being a jealous and insecure idiot. both are oblivious as fuck. eddie is REALLY dorky. eddie's backstory and parents--i did not read that book so i don't care if it's canon. idiots in love in the end. pretty cliche but i don't care!
wc: 3.8k
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It’s prom night, and Eddie is sitting alone on his couch. Without you. 
Usually, you guys skip every school event together in favor of watching a shitty movie and smoking half of his stock, but tonight was different. Someone asked you to the prom, and it wasn’t him. 
He’s been acting off for the past two weeks, you noticed. He’s been quiet and snappy, and has been opting to jack up the stereo instead of talk on your drives home. When you asked him what was wrong, he pushed you away. So, you left him alone about it. He made it clear he wanted his space.
He didn’t even want to show up to see you in your dress. You called him last night to see if he would come over–he told you he was sick. He wasn’t fully lying, though. The thought of you going to that stupid school dance with that stupid school boy made him nauseous. It didn’t make sense to him. How did you switch your views on the prom so fast? Months ago, the two of you laughed at the idea of going. Now, you were dressed up all pretty, just like all those popular girls you claimed to hate. He had to watch that sleazy ass car pull into to the trailer park, right up next to his. He’d never admit that he watched you step out of your trailer with that guy, and wished it was him. 
Being completely honest with yourself, your date isn’t even exactly your type. Todd isn’t some freak like you or your friends, but he isn’t a complete asshole either. He asked you in the hallway two weeks ago, and your instinct was to laugh at him. You laughed in his face, but he didn’t budge. He really wanted to take you to the prom, so you told him you’d go. It felt nice to be wanted. It was okay that he wasn’t some rock n’ roll dude like you’re into–it’s not like you’re marrying him. It’s just the prom. 
You and Todd arrive at the Hawkins High gym, hand in sweaty hand. Pushing the anxiety clawing at your throat back down, you give him a smile as you walk to get your photo taken together. The frilly, glittery background reminds you that this place isn’t for you. Again, you push that down. 
The music isn’t really your style, either, but everyone is having so much fun you feel the need to pretend. None of your friends are here, so you’re stuck. Maybe you should have pregamed, you think. Too late now. Todd pulls you onto the dance floor with a fervor you’ve never seen in him. You don’t understand how a person can have so much fun dancing to this shitty music. It’s a lot easier to get through when you pretend that Todd is Eddie, and you’re dancing to mixtapes in his room. You decide not to think about the implications of that right now. When the song ends, you offer to grab punch for the both of you. Maybe it’ll be spiked. 
As you make your way back to Todd, you see him chatting with a few of his friends, and from this distance you can just begin to hear them.
“So, when do I get my twenty bucks from each of you? She’s totally ruining my reputation right now.” He laughs, and your stomach churns.
“Okay, yeah, you proved us wrong. You got her here, you danced, you win.” His friend confirms the fear that’s been looming over you like a dark cloud since Todd first asked you out. 
“You at least better hold onto her long enough to get her home with you tonight, man!” Another friend cackles, and you think you’re going to vomit.
How were you stupid enough to think that he actually liked you?
God, you’re so gullible. 
At least there’s nothing to lose now, you think. Walking over to him, drinks in hand, you dump both of them on his head. They splash on his stupid hair and drench his stupid suit. The music keeps playing. A few people turn to look. The room doesn’t stop for you like some trashy romcom. Everyone just keeps going. 
Storming out to the parking lot, nothing can stop the burning tears from pouring down your face. You slump down against the brick wall, fabric of your dress sticking to the rough sidewalk. The warm spring air feels sticky on your cheeks. You wish you had stayed in with Eddie.
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie. You need to call Eddie. Todd drove you here, so it’s either Eddie or walk, and these heels already hurt enough. Your body feels like dead weight as you drag yourself to the payphone on the wall, punching in the number that’s engraved into your heart. 
“Hey.” You greet, choked up. You’re trying to keep your composure. You know it won’t last long.
“…Hey. Havin’ fun with Mr. Popular?” There’s a bitterness to his tone. Usually he would’ve picked up on the fact that you were crying in a split second, but tonight he was too angry.
“Uhm, not really. Could you, uh,” you sniffle, blowing your thin cover, “pick me up? Like, now?”
You can almost hear his demeanor shift over the phone. A beat of silence passes.
“I’ll be right there.” He’s clearly still upset, because he hangs up the phone without saying goodbye. But his one-sided irritation can’t override the facts: he cares about you so much that he immediately hops in his van and starts speeding to the school, even faster than normal.
You sit back at the edge of the sidewalk, staring into the empty night over the parking lot. God, this is so cliché. Freak gets taken to prom as a joke; left crying outside. You know how pointless it is to cry over this guy. You don’t even care about him, to be honest. But it’s not really him you’re crying over. It’s the extensive disappointment you repeatedly put yourself through after expecting different results—it’s the fact that you haven’t stopped thinking about Eddie all night. 
As you begin to probe deeper into the ethical implications of falling in love with your best friend, said best friend whips into the parking lot, tires skidding as he pulls right up to you and parks. He drives just how he lives his life—with a sense of urgency and passion you don’t see in many. His van stops diagonally in the middle of the pickup lane, and he hops out of the driver’s side door, so worried he can’t be bothered to close it before sprinting to your side. 
For the past six minutes—which is Eddie’s new personal record on getting to the school from Forest Hills—his mind has been racing with every possibility of what could have happened to you tonight. Maybe Todd had another girl, or is just boring, or maybe you got totally Carrie’d and some assholes poured pig’s blood all over you. Not likely, but hey, you never know the determination of Hawkins’ resident assholes. At least if you got Carrie’d you’d look metal as fuck. That would be a good album cover. But that’s not the point. What he’s more worried about is the possibility that that dickwad touched you in any way. Just the thought is enough for him to completely light up—he got pretty close to breaking his steering wheel from how hard he was gripping it. 
“What happened?” He tries to act nonchalant, but that’s something he’s never been good at. 
Your head is held between your knees, looking down into nothingness. He’s staring daggers into the top of your head, and you can almost feel the fact that he wants to say ‘I told you so.’ Reluctantly, your wet eyes tilt upwards, the rest of your head following. 
“Let’s just talk in the van.” He sighs. 
You don’t budge. Your legs feel far too wobbly to imagine getting up right now. He has zero patience at the moment, it seems, as evidenced by the fact that he almost immediately picks you up bridal style and carries you directly to the passenger’s side of his van. He fumbles with the door handle for a second before setting you down gently in the seat. You watch him drag a frustrated hand over his face through the windshield as he walks back to his side, and although you know you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re worried that you did. 
The engine roars into life, turning your seat into a makeshift massage chair. Eddie pulls out of the parking lot as quickly as he pulled in, but with a little more focus. He doesn’t turn his music on, which is a bad sign. 
“It was a bet,” is all you can say, voice soft and defeated, “because, of fucking course it was.” You stare out the window, head tapping against the glass as he hits a pothole straight on.
“I told you that asshole was bad news.” His voice is laced with venom. He’s never been good at controlling his anger—especially when it has to do with you. 
You stay silent. Anything you say right now will probably just piss him off more. 
“Why do you—why do you always do this to yourself? You’re always finding these guys that just want to take you out to say they were able to take you out. They treat you like a fucking trophy.” He scoffs. 
You look at him again, tears still silently falling. Even if you wanted to say something to that, you can’t seem to find your voice. 
“I just don’t get it. You’re, like, totally perfect,” he coughs, gripping the wheel harder, “and these guys you find are total douches. You can do so much better.”
“It’s not like there’s anyone better around here,” you mumble while staring out the window, like some kid talking back to their parent for the first time. 
“That’s not my point!” His yell rings out against the hum of the engine, the dull drumming being the only sound left as he hangs a sharp right turn. “I just don’t understand why you’re so eager to find some guy that you throw your morals out the door.” Eddie’s eyes dart to you for a moment before looking back at the road. 
“I haven’t thrown my morals out the door.” You argue softly. 
“Yes, you have! We always said we’d never suck up to the bullshit they want us to do, that we’d never let them turn us normal, and here you are at the fucking prom.”
“Eddie, it’s prom! It’s not like I fucking stabbed my mother!”
“We’re supposed to be the freaks! We’re Hellfire! We piss people off! That’s our whole thing! You can’t just—fuck—just throw that out!” He groans angrily, pulling into Forest Hills, slowing down as you near the Munson trailer. 
“I’m not throwing it out.” You say, much more firmly. 
“You’re throwing me out!” There it goes, the root of the entire issue. He’s always been worried that you’ll find someone cooler, someone less abrasive, someone who will make you laugh and smile more than he can. Logically, he knows that would never happen, but he can’t help his fear. He throws the van into park and slams the door as he gets out. 
Eddie was eight when he met you. He’d been living with Wayne for a little over a year by the time you moved next door, but he was still struggling. His mother left him first, then his father. He missed his mom a lot, but his dad probably caused him more pain, knowing that he had the choice whether or not to stay, but Eddie wasn’t enough. Uncle Wayne was nicer to him than his father had ever been, but that can’t fix a broken kid. 
Then one day, you showed up in your ratty hand-me-downs, a year and a half younger than him. He thought that girls had cooties, but you were different. You didn’t giggle or try to hide your gaze like the other girls did when they made fun of him to each other. Instead, you walked right up to him and said hi. 
You were new, and you didn’t have the best clothes—he could tell you were probably going through something similar to him—so the kids at school kicked you to the curb. You were just as pretty as the other girls, he thought, if not prettier, as much as a seven-year-old can be. But that didn’t really seem to matter to them. Your lunchbox was plain, theirs had characters. 
When the two of you got to be in junior high at the same time, him in the eighth grade and you in sixth, he thought for sure that you would find new, more popular friends. It was incredibly shocking to him that you’d rather hang out with some dorky boy with an ugly buzz cut who’s two grades ahead of you than the other pretty girls, but he wasn’t going to complain. 
He’s lived with that fear constantly since then, always preparing himself to see you walking into school one day in some pastel sweater instead of your band shirts and battle vest. He knows you won’t, he knows you’re better than that, and he feels so guilty for always expecting the worst, but he can’t help it. 
You hop out of the passenger’s side of the van, holding up the skirt of your dress like some elegant princess. But instead of some grand, ornate staircase, you’re simply walking up the concrete steps of the Munson trailer and following Eddie, who’s storming inside. 
“Eddie.” You sound like a scolding mother, tears having dried up a few minutes ago, and you shut the door behind you. “Why do you think so lowly of me?” Your voice cracks with the weight of the question. 
Eyes widening, Eddie never realized quite how much his thoughts could affect you until right now. “I don’t,” he says softly. “You’re the best person I know.”
“You say that, but you always think I’m gonna leave you for someone else. You’re my best fucking friend. I’m not just gonna cut you off at the drop of a hat.”
“I- I know that,” he stammers out, a little shaken. 
“Do you?”
“Look, I,” he sighs, finally turning around, “I’m just scared. I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize how fucking lame I am, and you won’t want to deal with me and all my bullshit anymore.” 
“The world isn’t against you, Eddie.”
He opens his mouth to quip back something snarky, but he closes it as he thinks about your words again. 
“You hate yourself so much that it’s beginning to rub off on me, because I’m friends with you, and if I like you, you think that surely there’s something wrong with me, too.” 
He’s stunned into silence, your words stabbing him straight through the heart. 
“Can you at least tell me why you were being a dick for the past few weeks?” You switch the subject slightly with a sigh. 
Eddie takes a deep breath. “Because of Troy asking you to prom.”
“Todd.”
“Yeah, whatever. He was my problem.”
“Why were you mad at me for that, though?”
“I knew he was gonna hurt you.”
“You didn’t say anything about that, though. You just said he was an ass once and then pushed me away for two straight weeks.”
Standing in the middle of the dark trailer, Eddie is presented with two options: confess his lifelong, undying love for you, or don’t. He knows that the only good and honest explanation he can give you involves a love confession, and he hates lying to you. But one thing trumps the fact that he hates lying to you, and it’s that Eddie is a complete and utter pussy. 
Eddie is, and always has been, a pussy. In middle school, you acted as his bodyguard—self-appointed, and very passionate—which only made him get bullied worse. You didn’t care. You’d defend him until the end of time. You’d take a hundred tugs to your ponytail or face-plants in the lunchroom so that he wouldn’t have to. You weren’t very loud or talkative in school, until it came to defending Eddie. 
To Eddie, you’re this glowing beacon of light and hope in his life. Everything good comes from you. And if he confesses his feelings to you, and you don’t feel the same, that pillar comes crashing down. 
But…what if? What if you did feel the same? That’s stupid, he thinks. Clearly you don’t, because otherwise you wouldn’t have gone to prom with another guy. And he’s sure you already know about his big, fat crush, and you’re choosing to act like you don’t notice.
“I’m sorry.” You can tell he’s nervous by the way he’s fingering riffs on the side of his thigh. 
“You always get so upset when I talk to guys. It’s not like there can be only one guy in my life.” 
“I know that, it’s just–” This is going to be the worst decision he’s ever made, and he knows it, but he can’t stop himself. “--I’m jealous, okay?”
“Obviously you’re fucking jealous, dickweed.” As you call him your favorite nickname, the intent behind his words reaches you, and your cheeks begin to heat up. “…Wait.”
“Have you seriously not picked up on this yet?” Eddie is genuinely surprised at your reaction. “You—you’re perfect, you know that? You’re the coolest person I’ve ever met, and I don’t know how you do it.” His voice is softer than normal. 
“Yeah, but—like, are you serious?” You ask. 
“I wouldn’t joke about this. I’ve been, like, totally into you forever. I’m surprised Gareth or Jeff didn’t say anything to you.”
“They did a while ago, but I thought they were messing with me.” 
“Okay, I honestly can’t blame you for that.”
A moment passes in silence, and you think about how to respond. 
“You know, I didn’t really want to go with Todd.”
“What? Why did you then?”
“I hoped that you would ask me,” you admit, eyes drifting to your feet, “but it was kind of a stupid thing to expect.”
His jaw goes slack as he hears you speak. 
“I guess that I’ve just kinda had this pipe dream where we’d go to prom together, and I’d be able to dress up all pretty, and we could dance together.” You avoid his gaze, until you hear him scurrying down the hallway. 
He emerges back out with his stereo in one hand and a cassette in the other, scrambling to place it down on the kitchen table and shoving the tape inside. He immediately skips to the song he has in mind. The familiar sound of Tommy Lee’s piano starts from beside you, and before you can figure out what’s happening, he’s offering his hand to you. 
“May I have this dance?” 
A smile grows on your face. “God, you’re such a fucking dork.” Your insult doesn’t come without placing your hand in his. He’s bright red, and he’s never slow danced in his life. 
Mötley Crüe’s Home Sweet Home is interrupted occasionally by the sound of feet stepping on feet and the subsequent ow!’s that follow, as well as the flustered giggling of two idiots in love. 
Eddie pulls you a little closer, his hands firmly planted on your waist. “You look really beautiful tonight,” he murmurs, “sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” 
He feels extremely underdressed compared to you, him in his favorite torn up pair of black jeans and an Exodus muscle tee, and you in your stunningly gorgeous dress, looking prettier than any princess he could ever imagine. 
“Thank you,” you mumble back, flustered, “you don’t look too—fuck!—too bad yourself, you know.” A playful giggle comes with your words, and a huge grin grows on Eddie’s face. 
“Yeah?” He teases, looking right in your eyes. 
“Yeah.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“I thought you’d never ask,” you giggle, staring right back. 
Leaning in, he lets out a nervous laugh before pressing his lips to yours. It’s not some magical explosion of energy that cures all your problems and fixes world hunger; but his lips are soft and warm, and he tastes like weed, gummy worms and a hint of shitty beer, and it feels right. 
You kiss him a few more times before the song ends, all quick and chaste but completely full of love. Pulling you along with him, not wanting to let go, he pauses the tape and the trailer goes quiet again. 
“Was I better at that than Troy?”
“Todd.”
“Point still stands, fuckface.”
Eddie drags you down the hall to his bedroom, the familiar ambiance warming you like a comforting blanket. Jumping onto the bed with a plop, the boy pats beside him invitingly.
“Can I change first?” You ask, ecstasy of the moment wearing off, allowing you to remember how itchy this damn dress is.
“‘Course. Your shirt is clean if you want it.” He calls it your shirt, but it was his at one point. The old Metallica tee used to be his favorite one, too, which meant it got a lot of wear and tear. But then you started wearing it at sleepovers, and it quickly became your shirt. Eddie didn’t like to wash it afterward because it smelled like you. He always felt like a creep for that.
Your hand tries its best to wrap around and pull the impossibly tiny zipper down, but it doesn’t want to budge. Eddie, watching you as intently as ever, quickly notices and jumps up to help you. His fingers move to your waist, soft and nimble, and gently undo the zipper for you. You let your dress fall to the ground, and he looks away, flustered. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in your underwear before, but now it feels a lot more serious.
Quickly throwing on the hole-filled Metallica shirt and a clean pair of his boxers, both of you hop back into his bed. You’ve shared plenty of nights here before, but once again, now it feels different. You sense that it will become a common theme for your life in the near future. His hands snake back around your waist and pull you next to him, and you allow your head to rest against his chest.
“So… does this mean you’re, like, my girlfriend now, or what?” A goofy smirk is plastered across his face as he asks. 
You try to playfully shove him off of you, to no avail. “Are you seriously fucking asking me that?” You’re trying so hard to act angry, but your giggles give you away.
“Yes, yes it does.” You seal it with a kiss. Then one on his cheek, and the other, and his forehead, and the tip of his nose.
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missmeinyourbones · 1 year
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SIMPLE COMPLICATION, MISCOMMUNICATION
cw: arguments aren’t fun :( suna is bad at communicating :( reader is frustrated and a tad insecure :( angst to fluff tho i swear, i was mad so i took it out on paper (and on rintaro)
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The small crack of light creeping through your curtain feels equivalent to the burn of a hangover. 
The clock reads a reasonable almost ten in the morning, but your body dismisses the concept of time and aches for twelve more hours of sleep. You barely slept last night, tossing and turning for hours on end, all because of your stupid boyfriend. 
Suna’s terrible at communicating, no matter how many times you tell him. He’s human, prone to making mistakes and having his fair share of wheels that need greasing, but his avoidant communication skills are often the core of a handful of your arguments.
This time around, he’s been away for the week traveling with EJP—and while the travel is nothing new, you’ve only received a single phone call and four texts within the past week. 
Waking up with a pounding headache, you instantly groan at the thought of pulling yourself out of bed. Rintaro won't be home for another day, which means another night of no sleep and spiraling worry. 
At this point, coffee may be your only saving grace.
Trudging into your kitchen with knotted hair and morning breath, you barely even open your eyes as you mindlessly navigate your way to the savior that is your coffee machine. 
However, your apartment isn't as empty as you left it last night. 
“Yikes,” an unsuspecting yet familiar voice practically wheezes at your appearance. “You look like you slept well,” the voice oozes of nothing but sarcasm and instigation. 
Cracking open a tired and cranky eye, you see him through blurry vision. He’s comfortable on the couch, phone placed on the coffee table and hands on his knees as he sits up, now knowing that you’re awake. 
He looks good, and as relieved as you are to know he’s back home safe, you don’t have it in you to be merrily surprised. 
“Why’re you here?” you growl. 
Rintaro bites the inside of his cheek. He’s not too surprised at your cold greeting, but winces all the same at your harsh tone. 
“Ouch,” his hand covers his chest in hurt. “Is that any way to greet your sexy boyfriend first thing in the morning after he’s been away?”
“When I’m pissed at him, yes,” you snap with a burning annoyance. You sound tired, and Suna ignores the ache in his chest that knows it’s because of him. 
Standing quickly and making his way toward you, his eyes follow your every move. You walk by him without so much as a glance and make your way over to the coffee machine. Turning it on, you sigh against the counter and wait for it to warm up. 
“What are you doing here, Suna?” 
His breath catches in his throat, “Suna? Since when was I demoted?” 
He must have been slowly inching himself towards you, because he now stands beside you in the kitchen. He moves to press a kiss to your temple—testing out the waters—but you immediately step away and hold up a hand that wordlessly tells him to back off. He makes a mental note of the silent message. Sailor’s warning, rocky seas ahead. 
“I’m serious,” your eyes remain locked on the coffee machine whirring before you.
“So am I. Suna?” he tries again. His nails scratch at his stubbly jaw in thought, “Nope, never heard of him. Don’t know who that is.”
As if your tone isn’t clear enough that you're unimpressed with his antics, the scowl on your face solidifies any leftover room for interpretation. 
There’s no point in playing along with his games, so you fold. “Maybe that's because he’s been away for almost a week and has barely responded to any of my texts.”
Rintaro exhales. And there it is. 
The reason you’re giving him the cold shoulder after a week of being apart. The reason he wasn't met with the comforting weight of your frame jumping into his arms and a kiss filled with enough love to feed an army. The reason you didn’t answer his last three texts of:
surprise!!! trip ended a day early. boarding rn, can’t wait to see you :P
landed safe and omw, love u <3 
here so wake up and let me love you :/ coward
Rintaro inhales. It’s all making sense now. 
“Huh,” he frowns, “he sounds like a dick.”
You look him in the eye for the first time this morning and it sends an instant chill up his spine. A cold glare of anger and exhaustion and hurt. 
Suna doesn’t like it one bit. He loathes it, especially when it's directed at him. He decides that this has gone on long enough. 
He wraps an arm around your shoulder in an attempt to pull you into his chest. “C’mere, I’m sorry. My schedule’s been crazy.”
You resist, but not enough to actually mean it, so he holds your head in place against his chest. 
Noticing you're not yet hugging him back, he mumbles the confirmation into your hair, “Today’s practice got canceled. M’all yours.”
And suddenly, as if he’s been balancing on a wavering piece of glass and finally applied too much pressure on a crack, the panel shatters and you're pulling away from his hold with a shaky sigh. 
“I’m not in the mood to be your second choice today.”
The apartment falls silent, aside from the comedic timing of your coffee machine deciding to start drizzling the dark liquid into your ceramic mug. Your confession (followed by the deafening silence that shows no sign of you taking back your words) makes him swallow down the bile quickly rising in his throat.  
“Baby,” he breathes, voice now devoid of all airy humor it was laced with a few moments ago, “that’s not even funny. M’done with the bit now, c’mon.”
“I’m serious,” you snap, and the step Rintaro takes forward is frozen mid-stride.
“I haven’t seen you in days, barely talked to you. You said you would tell me when you landed safely in Brazil and you never did. You left almost half of my texts on delivered when I was only checking in on you, and—” 
“Shit, I know,” his voice comes out harsher than he means it to, and when the coffee machine turns off and makes his outburst all the more sour, he makes a mental note to break it later. 
The look of shock that flashes across your face is gone before he can address it, but it was there and now he’s afraid he’s going to see it every time he so much as closes his eyes.  
His tone is softer the second time around, “I know, and I’m sorry.” 
He thinks about taking another step closer to you, but the tears of frustration threatening to slip from your lash line tell him not to. So he keeps his distance and tries to speak as calmly as he can.  
“It’s been hard for me, too. Fuckin’ coach keeps changing the dates around on us, but when I’m not playing, I’m eating or sleeping. That’s all, you know that—”
“It’s not about that,” you coldly cut him off, upset that he’d even insinuate something as foolish as infidelity. That’s not where your mind was, and you both know that. 
Your head falls into your hands as your elbows rest against the chilly countertop. “That's your job, I know what is signed up for.”
He watches you close your eyes in disappointment and (what he knows to be) embarrassment, “But I worry, and I know that you know that.”
He doesn't miss the crack in your voice and the way it instantly creates a crack in his heart. He continues to watch, helplessly, as you bare yourself to him beneath the crumbling pressure.  
“And when you don’t answer, it makes me feel like I’m annoying you, like you don't want to talk to me. And if that’s the case, then maybe you shouldn’t have to deal with me being clingy and insecure and—”
“Yeah, stopping you right there,” he crudely interrupts, pulling your now malleable frame into his arms.
He coos at your shaky inhales against his chest, and it makes you feel like a wounded child. “You could never annoy me,” he promises.
And you know he means it, no matter how frustrating these past six days have been for you. 
“I’m sorry I blow at communicating,” his voice weaves in and out of your ears as he whispers into the crown of your head, “but please know that even when I’m busy and exhausted and practically a fucking zombie, I still want to talk to you. Always do.”
You believe him. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but you believe him. 
“Well, do a better job of showing it,” you mumble against his sweatshirt. It’s weak, but it’s there.
His hand finds your back, drawing mindless circles and pushing you further into his hold. As if you’ll slip out of his grasp like a bag in the wind if he's not cautious enough with you.
“Anything for you, baby.”
He holds you there for a moment, and the kitchen is filled with nothing but the sound of your sniffly breathing and the smell of steaming hazelnut. 
Eventually, his voice comes quiet, muffled from the crook of your neck as it vibrates your skin. 
“Do you really think I put my work before you?” 
“No,” your response is immediate because it’s true, “I don’t. I just missed you, Rintaro.”
You bite your tongue when you feel his smirk against your skin, and its not a second before he’s pulling away and you see it on his face. “Rintaro, huh?” 
You roll your eyes and go to push him off of you, but he’s too fast. His quick reflexes come in handy as his fingers catch your wrist mid-shove.
“Come on, just a little more, gimme what I wanna hear.”
“No,” your stubbornness wins as you twist your wrist in his palm. 
“Please, baby,” he begs without hesitation. “Just shorten it a few letters. S’all I wanna hear.”
“You’re annoying me.”
“I have a week’s worth of annoying you to catch up on,” he easily retorts.
Amid your bickering, Rintaro has backed you up against the counter, pinning you beneath his weight as he childishly slumps on top of you.
“You’re heavy,” he feels you groan.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Get off, Rin.”
His heart instantly swells at the sweet name falling from your lips, and his grin mirrors the internal organ as it grows three times in size. 
“There it is,” he coos as you try to shrug his hands away from cradling your face. You roll your eyes, but your smile is evident. “There she is, my pretty girl.”
You let him press his lips to yours, and while you tell yourself it to shut him up, you’d be a liar if you said that was the only reason. He tastes like the drugstore cherry chapstick he uses and the cinnamon gum he chewed on the plane ride home. 
“Missed you,” he presses another sweet kiss to your lips, “I love you.”
You swallow his words without remorse. “Love you too.”
He lifts you onto the countertop and laughs when you jump at the cold granite on your exposed skin. Next to your now lukewarm coffee, he picks up the mug with one hand and carefully passes it to you. He watches you take a sip, and hums into the beverage when you hold it up to his own mouth and let him have a taste. 
Between brushing noses and coffee-tasting kisses, he breathes. “Wanna help me unpack?” 
On command, your eyes roll. “You’re on thin ice, Rin.”
He wouldn't have it any other way, so he shrugs into your neck. “Good thing I know how to skate.”
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d0youc0py · 10 months
Text
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Even when he wasn’t working his mask seem to haunt him. He wanted to be here with you- but every time he looked in the mirror he was pulled away. Red bumps littered his jaw and some even around his hairline. He had always struggled with acne, having the acne scars to prove it, but it seemed to be getting worse. He’d been in a hotter climate this last mission, the sweat and not being able to air out his face was taking its toll.
He felt so unattractive. He quickly figured out when you feel ugly- you act ugly.
“Sweetheart, open up.” Simon sighed, his hand knocking at the door to emphasize. You two had just gone out on your first date since he’s been back and he snipped at you the whole time.
“Fuck off!”
Ouch.
“Sweetheart.” He started again. The bedroom door finally swung open. His body tensed at your teary face.
“I don’t know what happened to you while you were out there, and god knows you won’t tell me, but you have no right to take it out on me. I’ve been waiting for you to come home for the past three weeks and what am I greeted with? Hostility. It’s like I can’t do anything right.” You sputtered, glaring up at him. His hand instinctively went up to wipe the tears away from your face. He had never been the best at comforting people, but he would do anything to get your tears to stop.
“You’re right.” He admitted. The glare left your face. He was usually much more stubborn- unless he knew he in the was wrong. You softened. “It has nothin to do with work, at least not in the way you think.” His hand went up to rub his jaw but he quickly stopped himself. “I just haven’t been feeling”- He paused. He brought his hand up and motioned to his jaw, turning his head to the side.
“Si.” You murmured. You had noticed a little flare in his skin, but you didn’t really process it. He was always so handsome in your eyes. Your fingers reached up and traced along his cheekbone. “I understand.”
“Shouldn’t take it out on you though, yeah?” He affirmed.
“No you shouldn’t, but I understand now.” You smiled softly, pressing a kiss to his chin. “You’re so handsome, you know.” You mumbled down his neck. He flushed, clearing his throat. “Do you want some help with it?” You offered.
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His metabolism wasn’t what it use to be. Luckily the physical activity of his job kept away any unwanted pounds. That was until he was forced to go on medical leave and spend three months ‘taking it easy.’
He would be completely lying if he said he hadn’t enjoyed it though. Being home with you had been heaven- but a bit of hell on his waistline. He noticed it a bit, but he honestly didn’t think anyone else would. He was rudely awoken when he arrived back at base only to have Soap and Gaz poke fun at him. He knew it was all in good fun, but his first thoughts were about you. Had you noticed? If you did, how did you feel about it? He hushed his own thoughts figuring he would loose the weight out on the field. That was his second rude awakening. He had shed a few pounds, but a few stubborn ones remained poking out over his belt.
“How does Y/N feel about their new pillow?” Soap hummed, plopping down next to him. It had been like this for the past month.
“Sleeps like a rock.” Price grumbled.
“Didn’t know you knew what that was Cap.”
“Soap fuck off.” Ghost growled from across the aisle. “Fucking hell.”
The plane was quiet for a while after that.
John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was never one to be insecure, but this was striking a cord. He remembers being younger and overhearing his mother gossiping in the kitchen about the neighbors.
“Alice has gained so much weight. She’s just gotten married too! Couldn’t imagine already letting myself go like that.”
Letting himself go.
That’s what it was. He didn’t want you- or anyone to think that he had ‘let himself go.’ That it was no longer important to him if you had found him attractive. That the two of you had been married for a little over a year so he could just give up. He shook himself out of his thoughts again.
•••••••••
He couldn’t even get through the door by the time you were on him.
“Welcome Home.” You smiled, pressing kisses to anywhere you could reach. He chuckled, leaning into you. He placed one arm under your bottom lifting you up to him. He dropped his duffle bag at the door kicking the door closed behind him.
“I missed you.” He murmured kissing you back just as desperate. He plopped down on the couch, settling you tightly in his lap. All was right in the world till your hands started to wander.
“You get hurt again?” You questioned after he flinched. Your hands went to pull up his shirt to inspect the damage. He stopped you. “John?” You questioned softly. He tangled his hands with yours.
“You know I have a tendency to be a bit old fashioned.” He started. You pressed your brows together.
“John I’ve seen you naked before.”
“No, love.” He chuckled. “I’ve gained a bit of weight and back in my day that was more scandalous than adultery”-
“You know I don’t care about that.” You interjected.
“I know, that’s what makes this whole thing ridiculous. It’s just something I’ve found out about myself, something that I need to work through.” He sighed, pressing a kiss against your forehead.
“Does this mean I can’t touch you?” You mumbled, fiddling with his shirt collar. He quickly shook his head.
“Course not.” He whispered.
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“Johnny, you’re being too loud.”
That sentence had been replaying in his head like a broken record. You didn’t mean anything by it. You were just keeping him in check. Yet he could feel your embarrassment. The heat rising to your cheeks. The panic in your voice. The way you gave total strangers an apologetic smile when they turned your way. He had always been a naturally loud talker. Growing up with five siblings in a small two bedroom apartment was to thank for that. The fact that he had been around explosives for the past eight years didn’t help either.
“Johnny?” You tapped his arm. His eyes fled from the small paper bowl of ice cream to you. “You okay? You’ve been so quiet since we’ve left the restaurant.”
He couldn’t stop a dry chuckle. He grabbed the small bowl, shoving a spoonful in his mouth.
“ ‘m fine.” He mumbled. You sighed leaning across the table gripping his hand with yours.
“Jo.” You pressed again, flashing him your undeniable puppy eyes. He gave your hand a small squeeze.
“Sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He grumbled.
“What?” You asked, leaning forward again.
“I said, I’m sorry for the way I was at the restaurant.” He repeated. Your brows furrowed. Suddenly it hit you. Your hand left his and clamped over your mouth.
“No, no, no, Johnny.” You said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. Well I did- but”- You cut yourself off. You rubbed your forehead. Your hands reached out again tangling yours and his together. “I’m sorry I made you feel bad. That wasn’t my intention. I just know you sometimes forget your own volume.”
He gave you a small smile, pressing a kiss to your knuckle.
“I know Bonnie. I just don’t like embarrassing you.”
“We’re just so different in that way Jo. My parents were so strict about how loud I was- especially in public. It’s just a stupid habit I have, but I should never expect you to follow it.” You smiled softly. He smiled back at you, the sparkle returning to his blue eyes.
“I should still work on it though. Don’t want to blow your eardrums out, then we’ll both be shouty.” He chuckled.
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“You hate it when I do this don’t you?” You hummed.
“I’m still not use to it.” He sighed, using his thumb to run small circles against your hip. He shivered as your fingers traced over another long stretch mark on his back. He mumbled something and pulled you closer, your body almost completely buried underneath his.
It was no secret Konig was tall. Along with that height came stretch marks. Mostly on his lower back and calves, some even under his arms. Some had faded, a small ridge in his skin to show they were still there. Others were a deeper pink- more noticeable.
“Everybody has them Konnie.” You mumbled, pressing a kiss under his jaw.
“I know.” He purred out as you massaged a small kink out of his back. Truth be told he didn’t really care about them either- until the locker room. That’s when he noticed how excessive his seemed. He had carried that feeling for a while, it wasn’t until he met you did he become more comfortable with it. You had showed him your stretch marks and he saw how pretty they looked on you. He slowly began to figure out that if he thought they looked nice on you, then you probably felt the same way about his. He still tenses when you touch them, his eyes darting to yours for any sign of insincerity. He’s always met with love and want. Just the thought of it causes a flutter in his stomach.
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mattitties · 4 months
Text
Boyfriend, pt 3 - matt sturniolo
smutty smut smut!
part 1 part 2
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“How was the date?” my roommate asks as I go into her room.
All I can do is smile. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this happy in my life. “I love him,” I say.
She rolls her eyes. “Oh jesus. Okay, come sit, tell me everything.” 
I sit on her bed and recount the whole night, from him picking me up at the door, to listening to Taylor Swift with me, to me never feeling a moment of awkwardness, and finally, to him kissing me outside the apartment. “Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a boyfriend so any ounce of actual romantic attention is a dream come true but I genuinely think he’s perfect for me,” I tell her.
“He does sound pretty perfect for you…”
“See!”
“But slow ya roll! Take it easy, just don’t rush into anything.” I nod in agreement. I know that there’s still so much to learn about him, but I just feel like I already trust him with my life. It takes me a long time to feel truly comfortable with anyone, but there’s just something about him that makes me feel like I’ve known him forever.
I wake up the next morning later than usual, and to my surprise, I already have a text from him. 
Good morning! I had a lot of fun last night :) 
I’m about to respond when another text comes through.
Would u wanna grab lunch today? I can pick u up again
I smile to myself and start typing.
good morning!! i had fun too, and i would love to get lunch! what time?
I can get you around 2?
sounds good see you then 😁
I look at the time and panic when I see it’s already 12:30. How the fuck did I sleep so late? I get ready and before I know it, it’s 1:55 and he’s texted me that he’s here. I have to applaud his punctuality, it’s hot as fuck knowing that he actually cares enough to be somewhere on time. God, I really need to raise my standards.
I head downstairs and he’s in the same spot by the door, smiling shyly when he sees me. His fashion sense is immaculate: today he’s wearing black cargo jeans, a black T-shirt, and a white long sleeve underneath. I’m disappointed that he’s not showing off his sleeve of tattoos like last night, but I still can’t stop staring at him. 
“Hi,” he smiles, giving me a hug. He smells good, like warm vanilla, and his hug is the most comforting thing in the world at this moment. 
“How’ve you been in the last… 12 hours since I saw you?” I ask as we head to the car.
“Oh you know, just been sitting at home twiddling my thumbs until I could see you again. We’re at a three day streak now!” he tells me as he opens the door for me. 
I laugh and can’t take my eyes off of him as he makes his way to the driver’s side. “Why’d you wear a long sleeve today? I miss your tattoos,” I fake pout and play with his sleeve.
“Ohhh, you can see those whenever you want, don’t you worry.” 
God, he makes me fucking crazy. We start driving, talking about mindless things, and end up at a little diner not too far from my apartment.
“My brothers and I go here all the time, their food is so good,” he tells me as we go inside.
Once we’re seated and have ordered our food, our conversation flows just the same as it did last night, except today we’re talking about stuff that it usually takes me at least a few weeks of knowing someone before I share about. I tell him about my family, he tells me about his and how he’s never been away from his brothers for more than 24 hours, while I tell him that my brothers and I are more like acquaintances and I only ever talk to them about surface level stuff. 
“I couldn’t imagine,” he says. “Nick and Chris are like my safety nets. To be honest, tonight and today are the first time I’ve actually gone out to a restaurant without at least one of them in like… 3 years.”
“Really? I actually don’t mind doing stuff alone. I know people hate going out to eat by themselves, but I think I just grew up so independent that I’m comfortable with it. Like, my favorite thing ever is going to the movies, but if I don’t have anyone to go with I’ll just go by myself. I find it peaceful,” I tell him. 
“I love going to the movies too, but I could never go by myself. That sounds fucking terrifying,” he says, laughing a bit as he talks. 
“I get it,” I say. “Well, would you ever want to go to a movie together? It’s not alone and we both like it, so…”
He smiles. “I would love to. But if you talk in there, I’m out. We’re done. No movie talkers in my presence.”
I shake my head very seriously. “Oh no, absolutely not. Trust me, you won’t hear a peep.”
By the time we finish lunch, it’s only 3:45, and neither of us are ready to go home yet. 
He turns to me when we get in the car. “What do you think about that movie right now? I have nothing else going on the rest of the day.”
We arrive at the theater and just pick a movie at random. Neither of us have any real interest in seeing any of the ones they’re showing, but it gives us something to do together. We’re pleasantly surprised when we walk into an empty theater, so we take our seats and make fun of the trailers until the movie starts. 
About 30 minutes in, I realize that I have no idea what’s happening in the movie. I’ve been glancing at Matt the whole time, trying to pretend like I don’t see him glancing at me too. I can tell that he wants to hold my hand, wrap his arm around me, just touch me in some way, and I want to just scream at him to do something. It’s all I can think about. I shift up a little in my seat and look at him slightly. He looks at me. Without saying a word, we both know what the other wants.
He takes my cheek softly in his hand and kisses me. I immediately fall into it, our lips moving together effortlessly, our tongues colliding. But I want more. I need more. 
“Matt,” I say between kisses. “Can we go back to my place?”
“But the movie isn’t over yet,” he breathes into my mouth.
I pull back slightly and look at him with the same eyes I gave him two nights ago. “Matt. My place. Please?”
His eyes widen. “Oh. Oh.” 
I nod and giggle as he grabs my hand and rushes me out of there and back to his car like his life depends on it. Luckily the movie theater is about 5 minutes away from my apartment, and even more luckily my roommate is at work. The tension in the car ride home and in the elevator is so thick I can hardly breathe. As soon as we open the door to my room, his hands are all over me. We’re kissing messier than before; our teeth are clashing, our tongues fighting one another. He walks us towards my bed, dipping his head so his mouth reaches my neck as he begins to kiss, nip, and suck. 
“Matt,” I whine.
“Hmmm,” he hums in response, sucking a spot right under my ear. I begin to play with the bottom of his shirt, signaling that I want it off. He smirks and unlatches himself from my neck just long enough to pull it off his body before going back to what he was doing.
“God you’re so hot,” I half whisper as my hands run down from his chest to his happy trail. I grab his face in my hands and kiss him hard, then sit down on the bed and look up at him. 
“What do you wanna do?” he teases, knowing exactly what I want. I pull my shirt off, leaving me in a black lace bra, and begin to undo his jeans as he stares down at me. 
“Is this okay?” I ask, pulling his zipper down painfully slow.
“Mhm. Yeah, no it’s, um, it’s good,” he says, clearly flustered by what’s happening. And I can’t get enough.
I pull his jeans down and almost drool over his black briefs. I look up at him again for a moment, then palm over his bulge, earning a low groan from him.
“Fuck,” he mumbles as I tear his briefs down as well, and I need to control my face when I see his dick.
It’s not huge, probably about 6 inches, but it’s genuinely perfect. I never thought I’d say that about a dick, but no, it is perfect. 
He inhales sharply as I wrap my hand around the tip and begin to work him, my thumb running over his slit every so often. I spit directly down on him as my hand moves down his shaft, and he groans again, pulling my hair into a loose ponytail. 
That’s my signal to wrap my lips around him and suck.
“Ohhhh, fuck,” he says, closing his eyes and tilting his head back for a moment before looking back down at me. My mouth takes him deeper and deeper with each suck, and his hips begin to buck toward me. 
He didn’t strike me as someone who would be very vocal during sex, but he’s consistently groaning and letting out soft curses.
After just a minute or two of this, he pulls my head off of him. 
“Lay down before I cum in your mouth,” he tells me as I move myself back towards the head of the bed and sit back on my elbows. He crawls over me, kissing my neck, chest, and stomach. “This is all I’ve been thinking about for the past 2 days. Can I take this off?” he asks, referring to my bra.
I nod. 
“Words, baby.”
“Please take it off,” I whine. He undoes the clasp and tosses it aside, taking a moment to stare before dipping his head back down and starting to suck on my left nipple. 
My breathing picks up as he starts to kiss lower and lower, not breaking eye contact when he removes my skirt and underwear at the same time.
He stares down at my dripping pussy, and although I’m extremely turned on and want nothing more than to fuck him right now, I’m reluctant to open my legs as the reality sets in of what’s happening.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, looking up at me with concern in his eyes.
“I just… haven’t done this in a while. I think I’m nervous,” I tell him quietly.
“I’ve got you, I swear. And if you wanna stop just tell me, okay?”
I nod. I can tell he’s being genuine; he’s not just telling me what I want to hear so he can fuck me. He really cares.
I watch as he opens my legs and hooks them over his shoulders. “You’re drippin for me, huh?” he asks, kissing my inner thighs.
“Mhm. I’ve wanted you so bad,” I barely even have time to finish my sentence before he’s putting his tongue inside my pussy. I gasp and grab his hair, my back arching which only makes him go deeper.
He moans repeatedly as he tongue fucks me, sending vibrations through my core. I’m a moaning mess, my heels are digging into his back, and it only gets worse as he brings his thumb to my clit and starts circling lightly. 
“Matt,” I’m on the verge of tears. “Fuck, don’t stop, please, oh my god— “
My orgasm rips through me with no warning, and I’m cumming on his tongue. He doesn’t give me any time to come down before he’s leaning over me, pushing my legs up so my knees are by my face. 
“Do you have condoms?” he asks, pushing my hair back.
I shake my head. “I’m on birth control. I’m clean, obviously.”
“So am I,” he says, running his leaking tip over my clit. 
I almost scream, I’m so sensitive. He looks so fucking good leaning over me. I grip his arm as he pushes into me. There’s a moment of pain as he fills me up, but it quickly turns to pleasure when he starts thrusting into me.
“Is this okay?” he asks, noticing my face and the tight grip I have on his arm.
“Yeah, just hurt for a second, but please keep going,” I breathe, pulling his head down for another kiss.
His thrusts get harder and faster with each passing minute. He fills me so perfectly, I never want this to end. I feel the coil tighten in my stomach yet again, and my moans get louder and needier.
“You gonna cum for me baby?” he taunts.
Baby. I clench around him and nod. “Uh huh.”
“Ohhh, good girl, keep squeezing my cock like that,” he groans. His thrusts are getting erratic, and his dick begins to twitch inside of me.
I chant his name like it’s the only word I know how to say as another orgasm hits me, and I’m squeezing him hard.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, ohhhhh fuck,” he groans as his own orgasm hits him, and I feel him release inside of me, his head collapsing into my neck.
We stay just like that for a few moments, him inside of me, us both half dead and breathing heavy, before he pulls out, picks me up bridal style, and sets me on the toilet.
“It’s peepee time!” he says excitedly while clapping his hands softly, causing me to crack up.
“You just fucked me and came inside of me and now you’re saying ‘it’s peepee time’? You’re such a freak,” I tell him.
After I finish, we take a quick shower to clean up, and I get unreasonably sad as he starts to get dressed.
I walk him to my front door and he kisses me again. “Let me know your work schedule this week. We’re going out again.”
“Okay, I will,” I smile and nod as I watch him leave.
I’m definitely falling for this guy. 
-----------------------------------------------
this was ridiculously long. i did not intend for that to happen. i really have no intentions of making this a full length series because i have other stories i wanna do and i have a few requests sitting in my inbox, so as the author i am telling you that they lived happily ever after yayyyyy
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gold-dustwomxn · 5 months
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mystified
part 2
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summary: after sudden attacks on women around town, you take a self defense class. ellie, your long standing crush is the instructor
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4
each chapter will have their own warnings please read them! eventual smut
cw: mentions of child abuse and implication of attempted sexual assault (does not go into detail for either), panic attack
fluff and angst
light rocking against your shoulder and a distant call of your name pulls you from your deep slumber making you groan, not conscious enough to take in where you are. “hey sleepyhead, wake up.” ellie’s raspy whisper has you cracking one eye open. you’re too tired to even speak or think coherently, making you hum in question.
ellie chuckles and looks at you for a moment before speaking. “sorry to wake you up so early.. I gotta be at the construction site in an hour.” you blink away your remnants of sleep and realize ellie has damp hair, is fully dressed for the day and the sun isn’t even up yet. “it’s okay. sorry I fell asleep here I didn’t even realize.” she smiles softly, “no worries, I don’t mind. you looked pretty comfy..I can drive you home on my way to work.”
the short drive to your house shares a peaceful, comfortable silence between you and ellie. the sky painting a breathtaking winter sunrise of pinks and purple. ellie pulls up to your house way too quickly for your liking, the small disappointment of having to part ways felt in your chest.
“thanks for the ride and letting me crash at your place.. I had fun last night.”
“me too,” she smiles and you feel that warmth settle deep in your stomach again. it’s a rarity to see her full smile “it’s no problem, really.. are you busy tonight?”
“no, I don’t think I have anything going on.” you know you don’t actually have anything going on. you bite the inside of your cheek to try to suppress a smile, but ellie looks between your eyes and down at your mouth and smirks at you. caught.
“well, if you’re not busy later you wanna hang out? I get off at 3, we can go to a cafe or something.” she clears her throat and you can see how physically painful this is for her. she forces herself to keep eye contact though.
you giggle and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, unspoken words and body language received between the both of you. “yeah, I’m down. just text me when you get off.”
“alright cool I can pick you up. see you later, ___.”
me: DINA wake the fuck up!!!!!
dina🤍: bitch its literally 7am why tf are u disturbing me
me: wow. anyway! last night I was walking to ur house and some creepy dude pulls up next to me asking me for directions and shit acting super sketchy. ellie pulls up out of nowhere and goes all psycho ellie mode and pulls out a fucking switchblade. I was like 😦 but it was also so hot. he skids off and she gets pics of his plates and we go back to her place for joel to deal with it. he thinks the cops can keep an eye out for that car and see if that guy has anything to do with the assaults happening. it was lowkey really scary but I’m okay. we ended up smoking and talking for hours and it was literally perfect and then we ended up falling asleep and I woke up in the middle of the night laying ON HER CHEST with her arm around me. we’re hanging out again tonight
dina🤍: wtf that’s so fucking scary! im glad ur okay:( but ommg im so excited for u angel. its ab damn time some moves are made and we can go on double dates tg hehe
me: ok let’s not get ahead of ourselves here we’ll see what happens. that’s all I wanted to tell u. ur allowed to go back to sleep now:)
dina🤍: wow how gracious of u. lmk how everything goes though <33
clothes are strewn all over your bed and floor, while you frantically try to find a cute outfit to wear. it’s fine, it’s just ellie. she’s seen you a million times since you were both 14. you finally settle on a pair of jeans and a black sweater, with your chelsea doc martens. good enough.
ellie🌿🗡️: Hey, I’m outside whenever you’re ready.
me: be right there!
okay, just breathe. everything’s fine!
as you hop into the passenger seat, ellie looks you up and down. “you look good.” you give her a shy smile and observe her; hair tied half up, in a dark green flannel with an oversized black denim jacket, black jeans with her usual pair of converse, multiple rings on her long fingers, and the scent of her woodsy cologne. “thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.” she smiles and shakes her head, pulling out of your driveway.
“yeah, he almost dropped a whole fucking plank of wood on my head today!”
you start laughing, walking out of the coffee shop together. “maybe the hit would’ve done you good, ellie. you are very hard headed.” ellie’s jaw drops “wow, someone’s feisty today, huh?” you smile and roll your eyes, going to shove her and she catches your wrist, pulling you close to her. your breath hitches and you look down at her lips. something behind you catches ellie’s attention, her smile dropping instantly and face turning ghostly pale.
“ellie? what’s wrong?” she grabs your hand and walks you quickly to the car, opening your door to make sure you get in first before frantically hopping into her seat and speeding out of the parking lot.
“hey, what’s going on?” she shakes her head and doesn’t respond, her chest rising and falling at a rapid rate, eyebrows scrunched together.
the speed of her driving and her concerning behavior is stressing you the fuck out. she pulls up to her house and lets you both in before she runs up the stairs to the bathroom, whipping the door shut with a loud slam.
you slowly walk up the stairs, not knowing whether or not to give her privacy. you suddenly hear her crying and hyperventilating. “ellie, I’m coming in.”
ellie is seated on the floor next to the tub with her head between her legs, forearms laid on her knees. “hey, hey I’m here. can I touch you?” she nods and you gently take her hand, softly rubbing the back of her palm while you place her other hand against your chest. “try to follow my breathing, okay?” you take slow, deep breaths for her to follow until she calms down.
“I’m sorry.” she avoids looking at you. “no, I’m here for you, okay? you don’t have to hide from me.” she wipes the rest of her tears from her eyes and nods. you move to sit next to her and gently rub her back, still holding her hand.
“do you wanna talk about it?” she clears her throat and looks straight ahead. “I uh… saw one of my old foster parents. he was pretty fucked up,” she lets out a dry laugh. “thought I was over it but I didn’t expect to see him.”
“what did he do?” she looks at you in contemplation before looking away with a cold, steely gaze. she sniffs and nods, “he… used to beat the shit out of me all the time for no reason.” she looks down at her scarred tattoo and rubs the skin. “this burn… he tried to-“ she clenches her jaw and shakes her head. “anyway, I managed to get away before he did anything, but I ended up burning my arm on the stove in the midst of it all. tried to press charges but that didn’t work, big shocker,” she scoffs. “I ran away and refused to go back so they placed me with joel and he eventually adopted me.”
she looks back up at you, trying to gauge what you’re thinking. you don’t realize you’re crying until she wipes away a tear from your cheek. “hey, don’t cry it was a long time ago I was just… not prepared for all of that.”
“sorry, I just hate that you had to go through all of that, especially at such a young age.” she lets out a deep breath and nods. “sorry our date got ruined” she gives you a sad smile.
“it wasn’t,” you squeeze her hand “I had a good time and I’m just glad I was able to be here with you.” you look up in thought, “do you have brownie mix?” she looks at you in confusion and lets out a small laugh “uh, I dunno, why?” “whenever I’m sad or going through something, I like to bake because it gives me something to do to take my mind off of everything and brownies are fucking good.” you nod with conviction. ellie laughs, “you are so fucking cute. c’mon let’s go see if I have some brownie mix.”
as you mix the chocolatey batter, and hum to the song playing on the speaker, ellie leans against the counter and watches you. she loves the domesticity and warmth you surround her with, and you were right, doing all of this is making her feel better.
“are you just gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna help?” “nah I think I’m good right here” she smirks at you. you nod slowly and look at her with mischief, holding up the spoon. her eyes widen and she points her finger at you, “don’t you fucking dare.”
you chase ellie around the kitchen island, out of breath from laughing and she ends up slipping on her sock, grabbing onto the counter for balance. as you run up to her and try to smear the batter on her face, she grabs your arm. you struggle against her, making you trip over her leg and she catches you, wrapping her arms around your waist. both of your laughters fade into small smiles as both of your eyes trails to each other’s lips. ellie’s face becomes serious as she leans in, lips ghosting yours. the sound of the front door opening has you both abruptly backing away from each other. fucking joel.
“hey kiddo, what are y’all up to?” ellie’s face is beet red and she clears her throat, “just making some brownies. why are you home?” ellie’s voice holds a bit of an edge to it.
“well, damn, I’ll get outta your hair in a minute, just stoppin’ by, forgot to pack my dinner.” she hums in annoyance. your eyes widen at the tension ellie is radiating.
“joel! my parents wanted me to give this to you as a thanks for the free self defense lesson, and for helping me out yesterday.” you open up your bag and take out a bottle of whiskey. ellie’s brows furrow, oops you forgot to tell her.
joel holds the bottle at a downward angle “would’ya look at that.. I’ll be sure to send my thanks to them.” he walks to the fridge and grabs out a container. “alright I’m headin’ out,” he looks at ellie “do me a favor, don’t burn the house down.” she groans and rolls her eyes.
“mm, these brownies are fucking good. you were right after all.” you scoff and smack her arm, “of course I was right. don’t ever doubt me again.” ellie rolls her eyes, “yes ma’am,” she quips sarcastically. “now, pay attention, this is my favorite part of the movie,” you say with feigned sternness. she smiles and nods, finishing off her brownie and leans back into her pillows.
you rest your head on her shoulder and place your hand on her stomach, tracing small patterns. you look up at her and whisper, “ellie?”
“hm?”
“do you really feel okay now?”
she turns her head to the side to look at you, face only inches away, and nods slowly. you feel her breath ghosting your lips and your heart starts racing, chest rising up and down quickly. ellie parts her mouth and licks her lips, leaning in, kissing you softly. she pulls away to look at you, before sitting up and grabbing your face, deepening the kiss.
HA sorry to edge u all. things are gonna get spicy as fuck in the next chapter. interactions are much appreciated 💗
taglist: @me-and-your-husband @fireflyels
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pursuitseternal · 7 days
Text
“The Seventh Day:” filled with self indulgent A!A behavior (Astarbation) in “Antics of the Newly Ascended”
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Ascended Astarion x F!Reader | E | 1.9K of Astarion self-love
🎨 by @marimosalad full nsfw on X 🍆💦
Summary: Left behind, Astarion occupies his Ascended self first with some uncharacteristically (selfishly-motivated) selflessness, followed by some self-served reward in anticipation for your return home.
CW: Male masturbation (Astarbation?), panty sniffer/theif, he’s trying to be a helpful (selfishly), self-indulgent Astarion, Reflection Appreciation™️, he would be such a messy partner (in so many ways)
Previous Ch | ao3 link | Masterlist
The Seventh Day…
🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇
“Oh… darling, I’m hurt. I thought we had something special…”
“You always say that, and you’re always hurt…” you fold your arms and tilt your chin up at him.
“Am not,” Astarion fires back, petulant like a child, until he realizes everyone is watching your exchange. He straightens his spine and picks the pretend lint off the cuff of his sleeve. “You go right along… you’re the leader after all, and if you think you can finish your business without the Vampire Ascendant in your ranks, then go, have fun…”
You level that glare at him that lets him know you see right past his facade to the bullshit underneath.
“No, really,” he purrs, “you go, I’ll just stay here while… you do all the hard work.” He gives you that arrogant smirk and tilt of his head, that makes you war inside whether you want to slap him silly or fuck him senseless. He can see it… in your thoughts, in the way your heart pounds slow and harder as his eyes look down your armored figure. “I’ll just stay here, tend the home fires and find little ways to comfort myself over your absence, darling.”
He flashes his fanged smirk at you, your nostrils flaring wide with irritation and lust. “Don’t make a mess,” you taunt. “Enjoy your alone time.” With that you spin on your heel and your chosen three follow.
Wyll in particular laughs loudest. “Don’t worry, once he finds a mirror, he’ll be entertained for hours, I’m sure.”
The group chortles as they shut the door to their rooms in the Elfsong, but not before you throw one more look over your shoulder at your lover. He’s just smirking, irritated and conflated despite his wounded pride, making a show for you in that one moment of unbuckling his armor to drop it at his feet.
You shake your head and smile, all the irritation you have melted into love as you blow him a kiss. Then you shut that door.
The instant the door is shut, Astarion grimaces and throws the rest of his armor to the ground in a huff. Petulant? Yes, but also hurt. He looks around the empty suite of rooms, collecting his armor, he decides to actually put it away properly for once back in his rooms. Your rooms. Besides, he has no interest in watching Scratch nap by the fireplace, or risk any of the other ‘strays’ who have joined along the way come up and bother him.
With a discontented sigh, Astarion slinks his way into your rooms alone. That open chest for his armor is so close inside the door, but he sets it down on the floor. See how she likes that… he smirks, imagining your usual comments made under your breath about his messiness as you insist on tidying up. You’ll have to step over it when you come back exhausted and bloodied.
A slight pang of guilt tweaks his gut, his eyes settle on it again, that pile of his armor… the stack of messy clothes—yours and his— discarded hurriedly last night before your fucked… A slight disgruntled smile crosses his face. Maybe… just this once…. He could entertain himself in a different way.
He starts putting the armor in the trunk piece by piece, and with each one he starts to think about how much you will smile as you see your rooms.
Another piece in the trunk… he can almost feel your blush color your cheeks at his thoughtfulness. Your gratitude will be palpable… and you will want to shower him with affection… willingness… Astarion sighs to think about how you will positively reek of sweat and blood and arousal when you see what he’s done for you, his darling.
He closes the lid of the storage chest with an eager groan, that ache in his groin blooming slightly just at the thought of what will come once you’re home. You’ll positively worship at his feet for taking such good care of you…
That ache burgeons into a full erection at the image he’s conjured in his mind. With one final grunt, he picks up the pile of discarded clothing from last night, setting it properly in the basket, one rumpled thing of fabric at a time in the corner to be laundered later. One hand adjusts his erection, the other holds the last piece of fabric from the floor. Your undergarments.
He pauses, catching your scent in the air just as he wraps his hand around himself…
… he’s just trying to fix that hardness… he tells himself. But he can’t help but give that cock in his grasp a little rub.
He hisses, trying to catch his breath, but his nose only fills with your scent stronger the longer he holds your small clothes in his grip.
“Fuck it,” he growls to himself, unceremoniously sitting himself on the edge of the bed, surrounded by a tidy room. Surely, he deserves his own reward. And your own laziness last night to dispose of your underwear properly has just gifted him with a great incentive. That soft fabric, inundated with your musk, makes his mouth water. He just… has to…
He presses it to his nose, his cock freed from the top of his leathers as he slowly starts to caress it. It feels so good in his hand: the perfect length, the flawless width, the impressive hardness he always gets that makes every vein rise to the surface like marble. The masterpiece of a body that he is, he smirks to himself.
Another deep whiff of that delicious scent, he looks to the side, that large mirror so perfectly placed across from the bed, his idea. His eyes flit between watching his own cock pulse in his fist, staring at the perfection is his own reflection, and closing his eyes to take another deep lung-full of your scent.
Intoxicating, the beat of his own warm hand matches that pulse of his heart, a pounding so insistent in those veins. So steady and growing more pronounced even as he still works himself into bliss. Astarion gives a contented sigh, his thumb catching over that sweet, weeping slit to wet his cock head with early cum.
Indulgent, the way the faded ghost of your musk compliments his own as it grows with every leaking stroke he makes over his own shaft. No wonder you two are so destined for greatness, so perfect together… your bodies made for one another on some primal level, right down to your scents.
A few breaths catch in his throat, the corner of his eye now fixed on that mirror. He pauses to pull his shirt up higher, his leathers down lower, wanting to see more of himself, a body that has ruined so many… Small wonder, he laughs a bit darkly, a bit proudly. The edges of his abdominals protrude, just right, that deep v of his muscles drawing the eye inexorably to that now-glistening cock. Even his balls, so smooth and round and tight now as he feels the pleasure building deep in his core.
For once, now, this body is his to savor, to command and pleasure.
“Ahh…” the thought of reclaiming himself makes his cock leap almost out of his own hand. “Delicious,” he groans to no one but himself. Leaning back, he lets his hips buck into his hand a bit, just for a little extra show… a little more stimulation as his mouth starts to hang slack. He lets that fabric treasure of your underwear slip off his face, just a bit, so he can admire the way his own fangs glint in the sunlight.
Now, those weapons behind his lips, those fangs, those are something just for him, a decadence no one gets to enjoy but you… and himself now of course. With a groan, he longs to sink them into flesh, to feel that first burst of blood as it breaks through skin to coat his hungry tongue. And in his carelessness, he finds it, nipping his own lip to taste his own ascendant blood.
Rich… full… powerful… familiar… he groans. Incredible that you get to drink from him, what a treat for his consort and for himself. The thought of you suckling from his own neck, the play of your breath on his skin as you feed, shivers run down the base of his spine, making his muscles clench and his cock buck harder into his hand.
You’ll be so touched when you see what he’s done for you, his little act of humility to gain your immense gratitude… fuck… it’ll be worth it. The back breaking labor he’s done to please you and make you smile and see his love for you still, even with all he’s become.
Your eyes will sparkle, your lips will arch in that come-hither smile you give him… you won’t be able to resist letting him take you right then and there, however he wants…
His eyes flash to the mirror, the paint of blush on his cheeks and tips of his ears…. It makes his fist grip tighter, his hand beat faster to chase that pressure that needs release. The breath catches in his lungs, his teeth gritting as he feels his balls tighten and cock thicken as he strokes faster and faster…
Another glance at his beloved reflection— that slow seep of pearly cum leaking from his cock… perfection, seduction incarnate, he smirks to himself as he arches and his head cranes backwards. Grunting, sighing, he licks his lips as that pressure in his balls bursts at last, a few more erratic bucks into his fist, as he forces his eyes open to watch.
He juts his hips out forward, almost off the edge of the bed, angled just right to watch his cum explode out gloriously. The reflection, the pulsing he feels, the warmth that drips on his hand…
Head hanging down, tongue licking his lips, he watches as his cock twitches a few more times, that release overwhelming him as he huffs with open mouth. Drips of his cum spatter here and there on the floorboards, the few offending signs of…
The door swings open, you stand panting in its frame, a bit bloodied but none of it your own. Your sharp eyes take in the scene… your love panting, cock in hand, rosy post-coital cheeks flaring a hot pink as you catch him in his indulgence. And all you can do is smirk, knowing you have the upper hand on him, shaking your head as he starts to sputter excuses.
Then you notice what he holds in his other hand, your discarded undergarments from last night. Now your cheeks flame so hot, you’re pretty sure even your undead pale skin is blushing. “What…” but you swallow the question. Why ask it… you know full well what he was doing with your intimates. “I’ll skip the question and just point out that I left you alone for an hour… and you’ve made…” you smirk wickedly as you cross to kneel before him, “… such a mess.”
“Actually, darling, you’ve failed to see that I cleane—”
But before he can get whiny and defensive, you silence him, wrapping your mouth around his still, weeping cock. You moan around his length, not giving it lots of force, just a lazy bob of your head, a slow lick of your tongue. A few swirls of your lips laps all the extra cum from his velvety skin. Then you pull off of him, grinning with all your own self-righteous taunting. “That’s… how you clean, my lord.”
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synthetickitsune · 7 months
Note
angst 16 and fluff 32 with jeonghan please? and that will be my last one haha i'm just so happy that your requests are open. and i just wanted to say thank you so much for your service really, you are legitimately one of my favorite writers on here and i love your blog so much. also you're really sweet and friendly and i appreciate u! <33 have fun writing and don't put too much pressure on yourself, take care, love you 💖
aah, thank you so much!! it took a while but i hope you'll like this ♡
Jeonghan (Seventeen) | Scaring them + “It’s okay. I’m here.” angst/comfort | 0.9k | gn!reader
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“I-”
“Shut up.”
You’re seething on the opposite end of the sofa, your knees hugged to your chest and your body so tense he’s afraid something in it might snap. He can barely see you in the faint light coming in from the kitchen. Jeonghan’s just helpless about what to do now.
He realizes, in hindsight, that the prank was stupid. You did mention you like horror movies, that you enjoyed being scared sometimes. Still, he should’ve known better and he’s angry with himself that he didn’t. It’s dark, it’s late, you’ve had a long day, and already had to walk through the dark streets, of course you’d be on edge, and then he jumped out at you from the shadows in your home before you could turn on the lights. 
It’s funny when Mingyu shrieks and pouts and complains, but he sees now it’s not so funny when you’re the one screaming and trembling, pushing him away when he tries to hug you and make up. You won’t even look at him.
He pushes his luck and cautiously moves to sit a little closer. You don’t pay him any mind so he monitors your reactions and continues until he’s sitting right next to you without really touching you. You glare at him when he opens his mouth, and from this close he can see the corners of your eyes are red and you look like you’re about to cry. His heart drops, and Jeonghan can’t resist the urge to hug you, to touch you, but he can slow it down.
To his surprise, you let him wrap his arms around you, you hug him back too, slowly uncurling from your previous position. He maneuvers you until his back is against the armrest and you’re almost lying on top of him, clinging to him with desperation that matches his own. 
“It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispers, tucking your head under his chin after he plants a kiss to your forehead.
“It’s not okay, because you’re here,” you counter. You have every right to be upset, he acknowledges, and he deserves this but it feels like someone is trying to crush his heart in their fist. 
“I know, I’m so stupid,” he agrees, squeezing you a little tighter in hopes you won’t push him away again.
“Extremely stupid,” you hiss.
“Dumbest person alive~” he sing-songs and while you don’t laugh, you scoff and that’s alright for now. At least you’re not struggling to get out of his embrace.
He holds you tightly and when you don’t say anything more, Jeonghan starts humming the melody as softly as he can. His hand rubs circles over your back, soothing you until the tension melts from your body. He closes his eyes and gets a little lost in the feeling of holding you, chasing away the unpleasant memory of you fighting against him, of you shaking in fear in his hold. That’s something he doesn’t wanna experience again, much less so when he knows it was his own doing.
But then you start moving and you want him to let go of you - he can’t stop the quiet whine that spills from his lips. You pause and everything is still for a moment before you sigh.
“I just want to see you, Han,” you explain and pull away just enough to look at his face. He gives you an apologetic smile, adjusting his position so you’re both comfortable and he can keep holding you. 
“I’m sorry,” he finally gets to apologize. He nearly melts when you shift in his arms just so you could put your forehead against his. 
“I know you are,” you accept, “So I hope you won’t-”
“I won’t. I’m never doing it again, I promise,” he quickly reassures you, and the only thing that stops him from pulling you flush against his body again is your hand against his chest. You frown seeing how quickly he freezes.
“I just wanna see you when we talk,” you tell him again and he quickly agrees, settling against the pillows again. “I’m not leaving, Jeonghan.”
He nods with a sigh and brings one hand to your face, gently stroking your face. “I’m just really sorry I scared you so much. I didn’t mean to.”
“I know,” you press a kiss to his cheek, “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
He hums, and you know he won’t listen to you, so you make a note to remind him again tomorrow. For now, you think you both just need some time. You talk some more, ask each other about your days, and when he starts getting too distracted, you snuggle closer to him under the excuse of being tired. 
Nobody is as doting as Jeonghan, more so when he knows he has something to make up for. He cuddles you for a few more minutes, careful to keep you nice and warm, rubbing your arms and back and whispering in his soft voice. He helps you to bed, tucks you in and gets you anything you need - glass of water, a little snack if you get hungry during the night, he sets up your phone to be charged. But just one word from your lips and he’s under the covers with you, holding you again. When he promises to protect you, you know you’re as safe as you could ever be.
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holylulusworld · 9 months
Text
Pick you up
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Summary: Daddy comes to save the day.
Pairing: Biker!Ari Levinson x fem!Reader
Characters: Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers
Warnings: angst, bitchy girls, heavy daddy kink, caregiver Ari, sexual harassment (not Ari), implied violence, hurt & comfort (kinda), fluff, comforting, protective Ari
Read the prequel here: Let you down
Pick you up masterlist
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“Daddy, please come pick me up. They are all so mean to me,” you sniff on the phone. “I don’t want to stay here. I thought this is going to be fun, but it’s not.”
The girls from your workplace watch you on the phone. They roll their eyes and huff.
“She calls her daddy to pick her up. We were right. She’s not mature enough for our little club. I don’t know what a girl like her wants in New York.”
You hang up and sigh. The plan to spend the weekend with the people you’re working with went down the drain the moment they started to talk low about your outfit, your make-up (or rather the lack of it), and the fact that you don’t want to talk about yourself with people you barely know.
Ignoring your nagging colleagues, you walk out of the living room to grab your bag and jacket. You will wait outside for your daddy to pick you up.
You exhale sharply when one of them follows you outside. “You didn’t have to call your daddy. How old are you, twelve?”
“Just leave me alone,” you shoulder your bag and grab the door handle. “I’ll be waiting outside. I want nothing to do with you and the others.”
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It doesn’t take more than ten minutes before you see his bike. Your heart flutters when your daddy brings the motorcycle to a complete stop. He plants both feet firmly on the ground, making you shiver as you stare at his long legs.
You wring your hands as he kicks the kickstand down with his left foot and leans the bike on it. 
“Fuck, daddy,” you press your thighs together, adding pressure to your tingling clit.
Ari swings his right foot over the motorcycle to get off it. He takes off his helmet and grins when his eyes land on you.
Eyes glued to Ari; you swallow thickly as he shakes his head to tame his mane.
“That’s…her … daddy?” Your colleagues gathered outside to get a look at your father. Or so they thought. They didn’t know you called your daddy, not your father. “He looks too young for being her father.”
“You are telling me!” Suzanne, the leader of the little group harassing you sneers. “That guy is not her father.”
“He’s so tall and handsome,” Caroline says. “No wonder she didn’t want to play with one of the guys. She’s got a hunk at home.”
“A daddy,” Suzanne grunts. “I knew something is off with that bitch.”
While your colleagues watch you and Ari, he worriedly calls your name.
“Y/N, what happened,” Ari asks, furrowing his brows as you run toward him to bury your face in his chest. “Baby kitten. Do I need to break bones or faces?”
“They wanted to play truth or dare, and spin the bottle,” you begin. “I agreed, because why not?”
“Okay.” Ari hums. “Go ahead. Daddy is here now.”
“Uh-I didn’t know there will be guys too, I swear.” You feel Ari stiffen. A deep rumble emits from his chest, and you know, someone is in trouble. You only hope it isn’t you. “I didn’t want to spin the bottle anymore because they changed the rules.”
“What rules? Tell me about it, princess,” you relax and take a deep breath. Ari always makes you feel safe and calm.
“They said we need to choose truth or dare. I chose dare, and suddenly the guys from the company were there too. They wanted to play too and Suzanne said I must kiss one of them.”
“I’ll kill them,” he growls. No one touches you but him. “No one forces my girl to kiss them.”
“I refused and chose truth instead. I said that I cannot kiss someone else because I got my boyfriend at home. They laughed, but agreed,” You sniffle. “They wanted me to tell them about the last time we had sex. I refused and they made fun of me. Calling me an uptight virgin.”
“It’s alright, I’m here now. Even if you were a virgin, it wouldn’t be a reason to make fun of you. They are awful people,” Ari softly speaks to you. You’re already worked up and he doesn’t want to risk you starting to hyperventilate. “No one is going to hurt you.”
“That’s not all.” You whimper now. “The game continued. The guys joined us. After a few rounds, the bottle landed on me. One of them chose dare and they…they wanted me to…”
“Baby, what happened?”
“They wanted me to ride one of the guys’ thighs. I told them that I got a boyfriend and won’t cheat on him. At first, I thought it was a joke. But they tried to push me onto that guy. I cried and grabbed my phone.”
“And then you called me,” Ari concludes as you slowly nod against him. “Good girl. You knew daddy always comes to your aid. Let me just kill them for you.”
“Please don’t leave me alone. Please,” you sniffle. “I don’t want to be alone with them ever again.”
“Princess, come with me.” Ari takes your bag out of your hands. He wraps one arm around your shoulders to guide you away from your colleague’s house and toward the street.
“Where are we going…?” you gasp as you see the whole club waiting for you and Ari.
You forgot that they wanted to go for a ride. Guilt washes over you. It was Ari’s day off and he wanted to spend it with his friends. Now you messed this up too.
Steve, the boss of the club gets off his bike. He nods at Ari as your boyfriend points at you. “Steve will take care of you for a moment. You like Steve right? He’s a good man and will protect you. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” you whimper.
“I’ve got her, Ari. Do what you must do,” Steve’s features soften when you watch Ari leave your side. “He’ll be right back, Y/N. Don’t worry. Ari was out of his mind when he heard you cry on the phone.”
“Maybe we should help him?” Bucky, another member of the club asks. He sneaked around the area and heard every word. “I wouldn’t mind roughing those douchebags up. Break a bone or two.”
“Buck, that’s Ari’s job,” Steve warns. “If he needs our help, we will help. Give him a moment…”
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Meanwhile, at the house, Ari barks at the women harassing you. “My girl loves her job and won’t quit because of you. If you ever make her life harder or just look at her the wrong way, we all will pay you a visit.”
“We…we didn’t…” Suzanne stammers. She never got yelled at by a tall guy like Ari before and is close to wetting herself.
“I know what you did,” Ari snaps at her. “Who is the guy putting his hands on my girl? Who wanted to force her to ride his thigh?”
“Uh-it’s him!” The other men point at the man wanting you to ride him. “He said that he wants her before we started the game. We didn’t have anything to do with it. It was all Suzanne and him.”
“You—” Ari cracks his neck. “Well, then. Let me show you what happens when you harass a woman.”
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“Ari. Daddy,” you run toward Ari the moment you see him. “What happened?” You look at his bloody knuckles. “You’re hurt.”
“Did you give it to them good?” Bucky smirks. “I can help. Let me break a few bones.”
“Buck, stop. I know you are antsy since your girl left, but we’ve got no time to start a fight,” Steve grunts. “Let’s bring Y/N home. She had a rough day.”
Ari carefully guides you toward his bikes. He softly speaks your name and caresses your back. “I’ll bring you home now, princess.”
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After a short ride back home you are in Ari’s arms. He whispers soothing words and nuzzles his face in your neck.
You’re lying on a soft mattress, hidden under the pillowfort you and Ari built for days like these. Days in which the world gets too much for you.
“You’re safe with me, princess. Always.”
“I know,” you mumble sleepily. “My protector…”
>> Prequel
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Tags in reblog.
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moni-logues · 7 months
Text
Across a Crowded Room
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Strangers-to-lovers, idolverse, smut
Word count: 10.7k
Summary: Dissatisfied and uncomfortable at a party where you don’t belong, in a country where you feel like you don’t belong, you see a man looking at you from across the room. Maybe he’s what you’ve been missing.
Content: alcohol consumption, fingering, oral (f. receiving), protected sex, multiple orgasms, I guess slight exhibitionism since it all happens up against a window lmao
A/N: Ok, so I 1000000% thought I had re-posted this here already?? but Lia has informed me that I have not and since I got a nice message about it on the old blog, I figured now's as good a time as any to repost!! The start of this fic is literally the first writing I had done for over a decade. I started writing even before I had a writing blog. Then the rest of it was written... last November? ish? idk. anyway, I read this myself the other day and it's alright! ETA: LOL, you can tell it's old because it's written in present tense LMAO
* * *
You tug self-consciously at the hem of your dress; it’s a little too short for your liking, but Hanjae likes you in K-style clothes and, once you’re there, it’ll be fine. It’s always a little nerve-wracking the thought of going to a party where you hardly know anyone, but it always turns out fine. Fun, even. Positive thinking. You sigh and inhale deeply before leaving your apartment and heading down to the car he’s sent for you.
When you first met, you were both taken with each other. He was intrigued by your foreignness and enchanted by your clumsy negotiations in a foreign culture; you were reassured by his confidence and excited by the access he had to hitherto hidden worlds of luxury and indulgence. He wasn’t rolling with Elon Musk or anything (and you’d have had nothing to do with him if he were), but he lived with an ease and security that you yearned for. Which, you suppose, is why you’re still letting him parade you around at parties like this.
It was fun at first. You liked the attention – who wouldn’t? Instead of feeling freakish and out of place, you felt interesting and cherished for your differences. You felt like they were laughing with you when you told funny, embarrassing stories of when you’d got it wrong, or how you do things back home. It felt like people were fascinated by you and you were warmed by their curiosity. You didn’t mind when they reached out to touch your tattoos or asked personal questions, because they didn’t mean any harm. Hanjae gave you a social life that you hadn’t quite managed to create for yourself in this new place and got you out of your apartment, out of your comfort zone, and you clung to that.
Recently, though, you’ve been feeling different. When you show up to parties with him and see his friends you’ve met before, they’re surprised you’re still around. They joke to your face that they would’ve expected Hanjae to have moved on by now. They ask what his parents think (but you have never been introduced to them). They’re not so charmed by you anymore. These friends barely spare you a second thought once they’ve registered their surprise and the attentions of new friends aren’t as welcome as they once were. You started feeling uncomfortable with the way Hanjae paraded you around a couple of weeks ago and now, you’re frankly sick to your stomach. When people reach out to touch you, you flinch away; you don’t tell funny, embarrassing stories because you feel like you’re being laughed at; you stay quiet, for the most part, because your Korean is still not very good and, when they correct you or laugh at your mistakes, you don’t feel like they’re doing it kindly. Standing, mute, next to Hanjae while he laughs and drinks makes you feel like an object, a trophy, an oddity. If Hanjae were a Victorian-era Englishman travelling to the ends of the Earth to ransack a foreign place and bring home stolen goods, you were the buried necklace of an Aztec noblewoman he would give to the eligible girl in the manor house whose hand he is trying to win. He is showing you off because other people are impressed, but you no longer get the feeling that he is.
You hand over your phone and lip balm to Hanjae when you meet him outside the venue; this became a habit early on, so you wouldn’t have to hold a bag and he was happy to keep them in his pockets. Now, it feels a little bit like handing over your freedom.
“Cheer up!” he says as you lean back in your seat. “This’ll be fun, won’t it?” He smiles at you and tucks your hair behind your ear. He’s not a bad guy. He really isn’t. You’re not entirely sure if he even realises what he’s doing with you, if he knows that he doesn’t really like you but the idea of you, if he knows that there’s no future with you, if he’s realised that this relationship is rapidly approaching its expiry date. He’s been extremely good to you and you owe it to him to try. However much you want it to end, you don’t want it to end badly and you don’t want to hurt him; there’s no need for that.
You walk into the party amongst a sea of black suits. You scan the crowd, looking for other women you can compare your outfit to. A terrible thing to do, you know, but your insecurity needs reassurance that you’re dressed appropriately for this event. Hanjae is already leading you over to his friends, two of whom have brought their girlfriends, who are dressed in outfits similar to yours, so that’s something at least. You greet them brightly and Hanjae hands you a drink before launching into a conversation you can’t quite follow. That’s the other thing about these parties; they’re so loud, even if everyone were speaking English, you’re not sure you’d be able to hear them properly, so you hardly stand a chance in Korean. You’ve improved dramatically and can get by in your day-to-day life, but you don’t feel like you’re good enough yet to have a proper conversation, to really talk to anyone. It’s quite a lonely feeling and another reason you’ve spent so much time with Hanjae: he speaks fluent English; although he uses it less and less often these days and he gets more impatient when you need things repeating. You suppose it must be difficult for him, too, having to use a second language so much.
You gaze around the room, looking at nothing in particular. You sip your drink and wonder what everyone else is thinking about. You barely notice the looks you get anymore – most of them are meaningless anyway and people pass their eyes over you before turning back to their friends – but out of the corner of your eye, you see someone looking at you. You don’t recognise him, but you’ve never been very good with faces and the lighting is weird here. You raise your glass and nod slightly; even if you don’t know him, it’s nice to be polite. He looks a little flustered that you’ve noticed and quickly looks away, and then back again and raises his glass a little before turning and walking away. You smile, what a cutie.
*
Your glass is empty and your feet hurt from standing still for so long, so you tell Hanjae you’re going to get another drink. He asks you to get him a whiskey, so you traipse to the bar and order. You hand the drink to Hanjae without a word and wander off; there must be somewhere to sit in this place.
The main room is cavernous and you’re worried there will be no open doors to anywhere else. There is a small group of tables in one corner, but they are all already occupied. You look around as you walk, and suddenly bump into someone.
“Oh, so-“, you start to say, but you realise it isn’t someone; it is a mirror. The whole back wall is mirrored. For a moment, you are completely disoriented and slightly embarrassed, but as you edge along the mirror, you realise that the wall doesn’t reach the other side and the room continues beyond it. As you cross behind the mirror, the din of music and voices is subdued significantly. There’s another partial wall from the other side as though the room is zig-zagging. You’re wary of going too far, but the increasing quiet is soothing. You turn another corner and there’s a bench opposite a large staircase. You immediately sit down along its length and lift your feet. You wonder what the time is and how much more of it you’ll have to kill before you can go home. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, reminding yourself that Hanjae is a good man and you are very fortunate and suffering from very glamorous problems. A few months ago, you’d have given an arm and a leg to be at a party like this. Be careful what you wish for, you think to yourself.
As you fidget on the bench, you realise you are not alone. There is a man coming down the stairs. You take your feet off the bench and try to look like you’re doing something (what? What could you be doing? There is absolutely nothing to occupy you here!); you settle for just looking awkward. You nod your head and raise a hand as he reaches the bottom.
“Are you ok?” he asks. His hesitance reminds you of someone and you realise with a flash that he is the man who was looking at you earlier.
You clear your throat.
“네. 괜찮아요. 감사합니다,” you answer falteringly, embarrassed at having been caught hiding out. You rise to leave.
“오, 정말요? ……………?”
You don’t understand the second half of what he said and you curse yourself for having answered in Korean; if you’d just spoken English and pretended you didn’t know any Korean at all, this would’ve been much simpler!
“Sorry, I didn’t understand,” you tell him. “갈게요.”
“No, wait,” he cries, with more force than he intended. “You don’t have to leave.” He gestures to the bench. “I was also looking for somewhere quiet.”
He speaks shyly and you assume he doesn’t have much practice at speaking English and don’t have the energy for locking you both into a conversation where neither of you can quite understand the other. On the other hand, it would feel rude to just walk away now. You stand, not leaving but not quite staying, both of you trapped in an awkward moment that seems to last forever.
“You can leave if you want,” he says, finally. “I am going to stay.” He sits on the bottom step and takes a sip from his drink. “It’s ok, we don’t have to talk- but I can speak English a little bit if you want.”
You slowly return to the bench and sit down. You feel like you should say something, but your mind is blank. It’s like you’ve never had a conversation before in your life; what do people say? Does he even want you to say something? Why was he staring at you earlier? In the same way that everyone else always does or was there a specific reason? You feel your hands start to sweat and you inwardly roll your eyes at yourself and tell yourself to get a grip, literally nothing is happening.
He is looking out of the window and you are staring into the corner on the opposite side; you each take glances at one another, praying the other doesn’t notice. You can still hear the music from the party, quiet in the background, and you wonder if Hanjae has noticed your absence yet; you expect not. You glance at the man opposite you and catch his eye. You both chuckle awkwardly.
“I’m ________,” you say.
“Jungkook,” he answers.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jungkook.”
“I saw you earlier; I didn’t think we’d met before.”
“No, I’m not really invited to these things,” you explain. “I just tag along with my b-,“ you stop, the word ‘boyfriend’ weighing heavily on your tongue.
“Who’s your boyfriend?”
Dammit.
“Uh, Kim Hanjae?”
“Ah… Don’t know him.”
“He’s…” How on earth did you get to this subject so quickly? Do you really want to talk about Hanjae to this random man? More to the point, does this random man want to hear about your boyfriend and how you actually don’t want him to be your boyfriend anymore? Doubtful. “He’s nice,” you finish, lamely.
“Just don’t like parties?”
Part of you wishes you had just left when you had the chance. Then you realise how ridiculously you’re behaving; hating the party because no one will talk to you and, now, as soon as someone starts, you want to leave. ‘Get a grip, girl,’ you say to yourself.
“I like parties,” you answer, “but it’s-… I’m-… This-…” You pause as you try to work out how to give an honest answer that isn’t simultaneously dumping all your crap onto him. “These are all his friends; I don’t really know anyone here.”
He nods.
“I have a different problem: everyone knows me and wants to talk to me all the time.” He laughs. “I don’t like big parties. They’re… so much… too much.”
You nod. The two of you lapse into silence again, but it’s more comfortable this time. You’ve broken the ice a little. He seems nice and you feel a pang of sympathy for him: to be a big deal at parties like this sounds exhausting, especially if you don’t even like parties to start with. No wonder he’s hiding out with you.
“It’s hard for me to talk to people at these things,” you tell him. “My Korean isn’t very good and Hanjae doesn’t like speaking English when we’re with his friends because some of them don’t speak it.”
“I think your Korean sounds good.”
You laugh; that was a sweet thing to say given that he’s heard you say all of three words.
“It’s ok, but we couldn’t have this conversation in Korean. Sorry.” You smile weakly and feel pathetic; you knew it would be a process, moving to a new country and learning the language as you go, but you weren’t prepared for how embarrassed and ashamed you would feel all the time about your failings.
“Don’t be sorry!” He grins at you. “I can try my English! But, actually, it is not very good either. Sorry.”
You laugh again. Koreans and their modesty; his English sounds just fine from where you’re sitting.
“Did you move here recently?” he asks.
“About four months ago,” you answer. “I was… looking for something new, I guess. I don’t know… I needed new horizons, new experiences.”
“And how do you think about it now you’re here?”
You wonder if he knows what a loaded question that is. You exhale with a huff. Where to begin?
“It’s been harder than I thought it would be,” you tell him. “I feel very… different. Being looked at so much is not something I was used to… I think Hanjae likes it, but it’s awkward for me. I feel like…”
“An object.”
Your eyes meet and your chest is flooded with the warmth of familiarity. He’ll understand, won’t he?
“When we met,” you start, looking away self-consciously, “he was charmed by my foreignness, y’know? And he liked how different I looked and found it cute when I made mistakes in Korean and didn’t know things. It gave him clout, y’know? Dating a foreigner? I was spoilt by it, the attention; I thought it was for me and when he bought me dresses and took me to parties to show me off, I thought it was because I was special, not just because I was foreign. I loved it at the start.
“I think the appeal is wearing off, though,” you continue, stealing a quick glance to gauge his reaction. He’s looking at you patiently, intently, concentrating, probably, on understanding what you’re saying. “He gets annoyed sometimes now when I don’t know things and-“
You tell him everything. Once you start, you find you can’t stop. You don’t know whether to be angry or sad about it, so you vacillate between the two. Jungkook listens, never interrupts; he drinks and nods and keeps looking at you with those huge brown eyes.
“I know it’s over,” you say, resolute. “I just-” you realise it as you say it, “I’m scared that I won’t have anything if I don’t have him.”
He looks at you thoughtfully for a moment.
“But you met him in Korea, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, you still have the person who moved all the way here to start a new life; that seems like a lot to me.”
For a split second, you don’t know whether to burst into tears or fling your arms around him and give him a kiss. ‘Is he looking at me,’ you wonder ‘or staring into my soul?’. You feel seen, seen for the first time in months. You decide then and there that you would walk on hot coals for this man; he’s got you whether he wants you or not. His kindness streams out from him like rays of the sun from behind clouds. Such a bright, young thing, hiding in the dark.
“What about you?” You ask. “You’re hiding back here, too.”
“Ah.” He finishes his drink and places the glass next to him on the step. “I prefer quiet places. I like to keep things small and…-”
“Intimate?”
You blush furiously as he looks at you. That isn’t what you meant and you’re not sure how he’s taken it.
“Yeah, intimate. Big crowds are not my thing.”
“Not when they forget that you’re a person, first.”
He nods.
You stand and move to look out of the window, closer to him. He rises, too, and stands next to you. Your arm is a hair’s breadth from him; you daren’t move.
“Do you like the view?” he asks.
“Actually, I don’t really like a cityscape. I prefer country views.”
“What are the views like where you’re from?”
No one has asked you about home like that. They ask for funny differences between here and there or ask you to debunk or confirm stereotypes, but no one has really cared what you actually think. You smile, picturing in your mind’s eye cloudy, wind-swept beaches, rolling hills, pier arcades, church spires and so much green. You tell him everything. You turn your back to Seoul and, leaning against the glass, describe the house you grew up in and where your grandparents used to live; you describe the places you took holidays when you were a kid and the specific smell of the sea that isn’t the same anywhere else in the world. He’s been to your home country before, but he hasn’t been to your hometown; he asks questions and shows interest and you realise how starving you’ve been. Starved of this sort of attention – focused, interested, penetrating. You’ve had a taste and you want more and more.
You ask him about Seoul; did he grow up here? No, he tells you about Busan in the South. He speaks slowly and thoughtfully about his childhood and his dreams and moving here at such a young age, growing up so far from everything he’s ever known. He’s achieved more than he ever thought was even possible, more than he had ever dreamed, he explains; sometimes he still can’t believe it’s real.
While he talks, you study his face. He’s happy now, but you feel for the scared, little boy thrust into the industry machine before he even knew who he was. Now’s not the time, you know that, but you want to gently crack him open like a soft-boiled egg. Such depth in his eyes, so much soul. You resist the urge many times to put your hand on his arm, hold his hand for a second, reach out and physically touch him somehow. You feel connected to him in such a way that you need it to be physical for a moment, to close the circle, to just… touch.
You’re still standing by the window, deep in conversation, when a man appears from behind the wall and beckons to Jungkook. They talk quickly and Jungkook returns.
“I’m going to get a drink.”
Your heart falls.
“Do you want one?”
A wash of relief. You shrug, sure.
“Ok, wait here. I won’t be long.”
He leaves and you turn back to the window, pressing your forehead against the cool glass. You wonder what time it is, where is Hanjae, what’s he doing, is he even still here, has he noticed you’re missing, is Jungkook actually coming back? You take some deep breaths.
With no watch, no phone, and no clock in this dark, little hideaway, you have no way to tell how long Jungkook has been. One minute? Could be ten. You wonder if he’ll make it back to you; after all, he was hiding back here to avoid being grasped in the clutches of all the many, many people out there. Maybe he’s been waylaid. He’s got stuck with a chatterbox who won’t be quiet; he’s got trapped into a business conversation that he can’t leave. Maye he’s seen some friends and is having fun out there.
You sigh, knowing that if he doesn’t come back soon, you’ll have to go out there, too. Hanjae will be missing you, you tell yourself; it’s rude to abandon him completely when he’s the reason you’re even here in the first place. You take a deep, resolute breath and stand, smoothing out your dress. You bump into Jungkook as you round the corner.
“Oh,” he says as he sees you. “Are you going?”
He hands you a drink and you take it, the cold glass sending goosebumps up your arm.
“Uh, well, no, well yes, I was but I didn’t know if you were coming back.” You hope you didn’t sound accusatory.
“I’m sorry, it is hard to avoid people out there,” he replies, continuing around the corner and sitting on the bench. You follow him and he places a hand on the bench, indicating you should join. You feel bad; he shouldn’t have to apologise. You sit next to him on the bench and sip your drink.
“You can go back out there, if you want, you know; you don’t have to stay here with me,” you tell him. His eyes widen and he shakes his head.
“No, thank you!” he laughs. “That was enough. Maybe I will show my face again a bit later.”
“Good.” You spoke without thinking and are just about to regret it when he smiles at you.
“Yeah. Good.”
You place a hand down on the bench and he reaches out a finger to touch your bracelet. When you packed your whole life into one suitcase, a lot of brutal cuts had to be made and there are so many parts of your heart at home, abandoned by you, but not this one. It’s a tiny gold chain, with a tiny gold J attached.
“That’s not the letter of your name,” Jungkook says, still studying your bracelet.
“No… No, it’s from my best friend’s name,” you explain. “She gave this to me a long time ago; I like to wear it when I feel like I need her, to feel like I’ve got a little bit of her with me.” You rub your wrist, self-consciously, and wonder what she’s up to right now.
“Does it help?”
“No, not really.” You laugh, a little sad. “It reminds me that there are people in the world who love me, which is nice, but it also reminds me that those people are thousands of miles away.”
“All of them?” His penetrating eyes beam at you and you feel like no matter what answer you give, it’ll be the wrong one. You shrug.
“I thought maybe you told me a fake name before,” he admits, grinning sheepishly.
“Oh, I don’t think that would’ve ever occurred to me! Why, do you do that?”
He nods. He smiles but it’s sad, the mirth not reaching his eyes.
“Sometimes. But I wouldn’t get away with it so easily if I wore one of those, right?”
You unclasp the bracelet’s fastening and it slips off your wrist and, taking an end in each hand, hold it out to him. He looks uncertainly at you and you nod. He offers his wrist and you fix the chain in place.
“There’s no getting away from who you really are,” you tell him, knowing full well that it doesn’t matter where you go, ’cause there you’ll always be. He grins. “For tonight.”
“For tonight, I can be your best friend?”
You laugh and nod, thinking, ‘god, can he be my best friend forever?’.
“Thank you,” he says quietly, gently moving the bracelet around his wrist; you wonder what he’s thinking and take a sip of your drink.
A few minutes pass in a comfortable silence until Jungkook speaks again.
“I don’t have anything to give you.”
“What?”
“In return.” He indicates the bracelet. “I don’t have anything I can give you.” He takes off a ring and considers it. “I think they will all be too big.” He holds it out and you offer up your hand; he slips it onto your index finger and you lift your hand up, swirling the ring around so that it very nearly flies off the tip.
“Too big,” you confirm with a grin.
He pulls his sleeve up to reveal a watch and you notice the tattoos running underneath.
“I think this will not go with your dress, right?”
You nod absently, trying to make out what you’re looking at. You take the edge of his sleeve and lift it a little higher to get a better look and then become aware of what you’re doing and drop it, apologising instantly.
“That’s ok,” he says and he undoes the cuff, rolling the sleeve up to his elbow. He turns his arm slowly so you can get a good look (or as good a look as you can manage in the dark light). You nod approvingly.
“That’s why I was looking at you earlier,” he says, a little embarrassed. “I was trying to look at your tattoo.”
Well, that explains the intensity of his focus earlier. You turn so that he can see. You feel, for a second, his hand above your skin and your stomach clenches, praying he won’t touch you like everyone else does: ‘just please don’t let him touch me; please, please don’t let him touch me’. But the touch never comes. You sense his hand moving across your back and down your arm and you twist your head to see his finger, an inch above the skin, tracing the lines of your tattoo. You breathe a sigh of relief.
“What do you think?” You ask, turning your body back towards him.
“They’re very beautiful.” He looks you straight in the eyes as he answers and you’re struck again by the feeling of being seen and not merely looked at. Neither of you looks away this time. You hold the moment between yourselves, pausing time just for a second. You break the connection and look down, tracing a finger over your bracelet on his wrist. You know it’s only a coincidence that they share the same initial – it’s not exactly uncommon – but something about it feels right.
“Do you want it back?” he asks.
No, you don’t. Not yet. You feel like he’s wearing a part of you while he’s wearing it; he has accepted a part of you as a part of himself. You feel warm in the glow of that tiny, tremulous thread between you. You think, and the thought shocks you, that you would be alright he kept it forever. It’s immensely precious to you, so much so that you brought it with you thousands of miles away into your new life, but, somehow, Jungkook’s wearing it brings more to you, more comfort, more confidence, more certainty in the knowledge that there are people in the world that love you. Love is not diminished when given away, it is doubled. You suddenly wish that you did have something of his you could wear, if only for tonight.
The silence lapses and you talk, nursing your drinks, knowing that one of you will have to leave if either of you needs another. You forget the passing of time and everything outside of this little bubble. It’s the most fun you’ve had at a party for ages.
The man who appeared earlier returns and, once again, beckons to Jungkook. Jungkook stands and goes over to him and they, once again, talk quietly. Jungkook returns and the man remains.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” Jungkook asks and you feel shattered all of a sudden. You had forgotten all about Hanjae, truth be told, and you are overwhelmed with guilt and shame that you’ve spent the whole night away from him, talking to another man. He isn’t my boyfriend, that’s what you wanted to say: he’s definitely not my boyfriend, or even if he is, I don’t want him to be and he won’t be for much longer! Why is Jungkook asking? Whatever bubble you were in has been popped from the inside. A part of you feels heartbroken and a part of you feels betrayed. It was just you and Jungkook; there’s no need to bring anyone else into this.
“Oh, uh, I don’t know,” you stutter in response. “Probably… somewhere…”. You have no idea where he will be; you assume that he is still here (you hope he is still here because he still has your phone), but who can say for sure?
“Do you want to leave with me?” Jungkook asks and you are stunned into momentary silence.
“What?”
“Do you want to leave with me?” he repeats. “We don’t have to go anywhere; I can take you home if you want, but would you like to leave?”
You feel like that is too many mixed messages to cope with right now so you nod dumbly and stand.
“Hanjae,” you say abruptly as your brain sputters back into gear. “He has my phone and my things.”
“Ok, shall I meet you outside? I’ll wait.”
“I’ll be quick.”
Breathless, you walk as quickly as you can back into the cavernous room, the noise building to a roar, the throng of people overwhelming. You stand on tiptoes and crane your neck, looking for anyone you recognise, cursing the organisers for the dim lighting and all men for their interminably boring black suits which make none of them stand out. You notice movement in your peripheral vision and turn to see a waving arm, beckoning you. It’s not Hanjae; it’s one of his friends.
“Where have you been?” they exclaim as you approach. “Han was looking everywhere for you; thought you must’ve disappeared! Anyway, he had to leave earlier – some work emergency – so he told me to give you these if I saw you.” He hands over your phone, lip balm, and a lipstick you’re sure isn’t yours. “He told you you can order a car if you like, but he won’t be back so you’ll have to get home on your own.”
You see that his friends clearly have no idea of entertaining you or keeping you company for the rest of the evening, which is just as well, given you were about to leave with someone else.
As you make your way outside, you look at the lipstick you were given. You try to think what might constitute a ‘work emergency’ on a Friday night; it’s not like the guy’s a doctor or fire fighter! You try not to let suspicion creep in, because Hanjae has never given you any reason to doubt his fidelity before, but then, you’ve also never considered it, because you’ve never really considered the two of you to be in an actual relationship. Maybe he hadn’t either. And if that’s the case, then there’s no need to be hurt or angered by it. But there is a niggle. There’s something crawling, digging up, trying to plant its seed in your heart. You decide if it’s going to happen at all, it will have to be tonight. As you approach the doorway, you stand to one side and dial Hanjae’s number.
“여보세요?” he answers just as you were about to give up.
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Oh. Where are you?”
“I’m still at the party.”
“Oh. Where did you go? I tried to look for you earlier; I’m not there anymore. I’ve had to come to the office.”
“Yeah, I know; I found Seongyoung and he gave me my phone.”
“Right yeah, yeah.” He sounds distracted.
“So, are you in the office now?” you ask.
“Yeah, but I can’t see you; there’s been a huge mistake and it’s going to take a long time to fix.”
“Please; it’ll be quick. I promise.”
He sighs heavily but agrees. You hang up the phone with a small weight sitting in your stomach.
You turn back to the entrance and walk out, scanning for Jungkook. There are a few dark cars sitting in front of you but you have no idea if any one of them belongs to him. You hesitate, not sure where to turn, standing awkwardly in front of drivers and security officers. A door on one of the cars opens and a hand waves; you approach and Jungkook beams up at you from inside.
“Quick!” He reaches out to grab your hand and pull you in. He speaks quickly to the driver in Korean and turns back to you. “Are you alright?”
“Um, actually, can we go somewhere?”
“Where do you want to go?”
“I… have to do something. It won’t take long, please.”
“Of course, that’s ok. Where do you want to go?”
You give him the address of Hanjae’s office building and he relays it to the driver. You sit, slightly on edge, compulsively flicking the edge of your phone case off and on, off and on. The building isn’t far and you sit in silence while Jungkook hums along to the radio. You are barely even aware of what song is playing. The driver slows and you unbuckle your seatbelt.
“Just give me like, five minutes. I’ll be quick,” you say as you open the car door.
“It’s ok; you can take as long as you like. I will wait.”
You wonder what Jungkook thinks you are doing, where he thinks you are. You wonder if he knows. Part of you assumes he does, since he seems to intuitively understand so much about you. You enter the building and approach the reception desk. The woman behind it barely looks up as she opens the barrier to let you in. You’re not sure if she recognises you from times you’ve been here before or just does not care about her job. If you had to man a reception desk in an almost entirely empty building on a Friday night, you probably wouldn’t care much either. As you call a thank you to her and walk past, the lipstick suddenly flashes into your mind. Could it be hers? You suppose it could be. It could be anyone’s. It might not have anything to do with Hanjae at all. Maybe Seongyoung handed you his girlfriend’s lipstick by mistake. Maybe not. It won’t matter soon.
You reach Hanjae’s floor and can see him in his glass-walled office: jacket and tie off, sleeves rolled up, standing and on the phone. You walk with purpose to his door and wave. He gestures for you to come in, so you stand inside the door and wait for his conversation to end.
“What’s up?” he asks, putting his phone on his desk.
“I think we need to have a conversation,” you begin, your resolve holding firm for now.
“Right now? I really don’t have time-“
“I said I’d be quick and I meant it.” If you aren’t quick, you’re not sure you’ll be able to go through with it.
“Ok then, shoot.”
You hadn’t actually planned what you were going to say. None of the words sounded right; you wanted to be clear and direct but kind at the same time; is it even possible to tell someone kindly that you don’t want them to be in your life anymore? You clench and unclench your fist and decide to rip the plaster straight off.
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I don’t think we should be together. I think we should end things. This is over.” The words tumble out without your being able to stop them. Hanjae’s eyebrows raise and he looks surprised.
“Oh.”
He looks a little dumb-founded but you had expected him to say more and aren’t sure what to do now. You open and close your mouth like a goldfish, waiting for something else to happen. You haven’t actually broken up with anyone before so you’re not sure how this usually goes.
“Can I ask why?”
“We’re not a good fit.” You hope that this will suffice but you know it won’t satisfy him.
“What does that mean? Don’t we have fun together? Don’t we like each other?” Ay, there’s the rub.
“Actually, I don’t really think you do, no.” You try to explain to him all the things you’ve been feeling recently; you try not to blame him for any of it because you don’t want this to turn into an argument; you tread as carefully as you can but you’re so desperate for this to be over now it’s started that you can’t stop your mouth running on and on.
“You’ve given me so much and I’m so grateful to you for that and I really value all the time we have spent together and I do think you’re a nice person and I don’t want to hurt you but… well, this is how I feel.” You feel a little breathless as you come to a stop. Hanjae doesn’t say anything for a while and you can’t read his face. You don’t know what he’s thinking and the longer the silence lasts, the sicker and sicker you feel.
“I’m sorry that you feel that my attention has been so unwelcome,” he finally answers, speaking slowly and coldly. “I don’t really know what else I could have done to show you that I value you: I buy you things, take you places, I introduced you to all of my friends, I show you off; is that not loving? You say you don’t even think I like you, but if that’s true, why would I bother to see you? Why would I waste my time with you if I didn’t? I hadn’t, until now, considered our time together a waste, but it seems as though my efforts have been just that. You’ve been feeling this way for weeks, have you? Well, why are you here, then? Why did you come tonight at all if all of my friends ignore you and all of my attention is so unwanted? If the time we spend together makes you feel so awful, why have you waited this long to say something? You disappeared very early this evening; I tried looking for you everywhere. You said you were getting a drink and then I didn’t see you again. Perhaps it’s not that my attention is unwanted but that you’ve found someone else whose attention you prefer? Were you just putting up with me for long enough to find a higher roller, someone richer, or more famous perhaps? Am I a step on your ladder to the top? You have never, until tonight, given me a reason not to trust you, but you have to admit that this is rather out of the blue and your behaviour at the party was… not very polite. You abandoned me-“
You scoff at that, unable to stop yourself. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. Hanjae raises his eyebrows and waits for you to explain yourself. You’ve no idea how. You say nothing. You’re the first to break eye contact and you look at the ground, then the window, the desk, anywhere but Hanjae’s face.
“Fine,” he says. “Have it your way. What a horrible boyfriend I was to you, to treat you to presents and dinners and parties, to be so impressed by you that I want to show you off to everyone I know, to speak English with you and help you with Korean, to help you get settled in, to give you a social life, to show you what Seoul has to offer, what I have to offer, to never treat you like-“
“A person. You didn’t treat me like a person, Hanjae. I’m not a prize to show off; I’m a person first, not an object.” Your heart is hammering in your chest and you can feel tears pricking in your eyes. How can you get him to understand?
“Oh, I objectify you?” It is his turn to scoff. “And yet I am the one who has been used.”
You don’t know what to say to that.
“No, I- it’s- we- I-“
“Whatever, you can leave now.” He turns his back on you and picks up his phone again. He turns around with the phone to his ear and nods at the door, shooing you away. You turn around and leave the office on trembling legs. As soon as you step into the lift to go back down, the tears come. You’re not even sure why you’re crying; you wanted this after all. It was just horrible. You feel sticky with sweat all over, and shaky with the stress of it. You know that Hanjae isn’t right, saying those things about you, and he was lashing out defensively, but it hurt all the same. Or maybe he is a little bit right. You said yourself that he’s given you so much, access to things and people and places you wouldn’t have had otherwise; you said yourself that you enjoyed that. Maybe you are in the wrong, at least a little bit. You both are, you suppose. You exit the lift and walk briskly out of the office, not turning to look at the receptionist on your way out in case she sees you crying. You step out of the door and hide behind a pillar, catching your breath, drying your tears and trying to put on a happy face. Leaning against the cold stone of the wall, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.
“____?”
Shit. Jungkook is right there in front of you, looking concerned.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
You shake your head and hold up your hands.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” You stand up straight and give yourself a body shake. “Honestly, it’s fine.”
“Do you want me to take you home?”
You can’t think of much worse than going home to your poky apartment to spend the rest of your night miserable and alone.
“No… Can we, can we get a drink? Do you want to get a drink?”
Jungkook grimaces slightly. “Ah, that’s kind of difficult for me. I can’t really just go to a bar on a Friday night, y’know?”
Your heart sinks; of course he doesn’t want to go to a bar with you.
“We could have a drink at my house, if you want?” he offers.
Your heart rises. God, yes, please.
You drive back to Jungkook’s apartment in silence. The presence of the driver makes you feel somehow inhibited, self-conscious. You feel conspicuous, even though you’re sure the driver couldn’t care less about who you are or what you’re doing there. He’s just doing his job. You, nevertheless, don’t want to say anything yet, not until you’re alone with Jungkook. He’s scrolling on his phone, and you take the opportunity to study him more closely. His face changes with the changing light: suddenly brightly lit as you stop at traffic lights under a lamppost, then hidden in shadows. He has a kind face, open and bright, deep, soft eyes… You wanted to reach out a finger to trace his profile, the line of his lips, study him as if you were about to embark upon a masterpiece of him. Not that you would be able to capture his spirit if you tried. There’s a light in his eyes that seems to lie so deeply within them but shine so close to the surface.
You can’t work out what you’re feeling – too much, honestly. You need a minute to step back, step out of yourself – out of your life – to sort through everything that had happened. You feel a little as though you have accidentally stepped on a travelator and things are moving faster than you can keep up with. You wonder if you’ll regret any of this in the morning, if sleep will clear your mind and show your actions up as mistakes. You hope not. You think not. You catch the glint of your bracelet, still around Jungkook’s wrist and you nod to yourself. No, this – if this alone – is not a mistake.
When you arrive at Jungkook’s building, he shows you in and your mouth gapes. This was much bigger than Hanjae’s place. Wow. Just how famous was this guy? You are reminded forcefully of how little you actually know about him, whatever your feelings might be saying.
“What would you like to drink?” he asks, crouching in front of a cabinet. He opens the door to reveal all manner of spirits and liquors.
“Oh, anything,” you answer, without thinking. He laughs and you’re embarrassed by your answer but making another decision at this point feels impossible. You feel like a swan, calm on top, but flailing wildly underneath. You begin to think that maybe you should have let Jungkook take you home, so you could’ve gone to bed, or stared out of the window blankly until the sun rose. He’s too stimulating. Questions constantly rise to the surface of your mind like bubbles in boiling water: what’s his family like? What’s his favourite film? What’s his favourite food? Is he single? What’s he thinking? What does he want out of life? He’s already achieved his career dream so what’s his next dream?
He hands you a glass and you take a sip without even looking. It’s strong, good. You follow Jungkook to the sofa and flop onto it, thankful to be sitting comfortably. He asks if the drink is ok and you just nod and take another sip. You’re torn with conflicting desires: to stare at him endlessly, to fall into his chest and listen to his heartbeat, to tell him everything, to listen to him tell you everything, to kiss him, to never kiss him, to be his best friend, to fall in love with him, to fall in love with him and love him from afar from the rest of your life. It’s exquisite, the confusion, the keenness of your muddled feelings. You wonder briefly if you are just drunk but shake the thought from your head: you haven’t had that much to drink.
You drink in silence for a while and when you’ve finished, you stand. Placing your glass on the coffee table, you wander over to the bookcase, full of not books but DVDs and figurines. You scan the titles, your eyes not really seeing. They linger on a small figurine of a tiger at the edge of a shelf. You pick it up.
“Year of the tiger?” you ask, brandishing the figure at him.
“It is.” He stands and comes closer to you, taking the tiger in his hand.
“This is me,” you tell him. 24 years old, you were born two tigers ago. You take the figure back and wiggle it in his face. He laughs.
“I’m an ox,” he says, kneeling down. He opens the door of a little cabinet and reveals figurines for each of the zodiac animals. You laugh picking them up and inspecting them. He takes the ox from the cupboard and the tiger from your hand and puts them both back on the bookshelf. Feeling silly, you move the tiger and make a sound that’s neither quite a roar nor a meow as though the tiger is talking to the ox. Jungkook laughs and responds in kind, lowing deeply as he turns the ox towards the tiger. This is the sort of nonsense you need to lift you from the deep water of your confused feelings.
You move to the window as Jungkook refills your glass. It’s probably a good view that he probably paid a lot of money for but you can’t be enamoured with so many lights and so much modern architecture. You can just barely make out the dark shape of the mountains beyond and you smile; that’s more like it. Jungkook joins you at the window. You talk quietly; you don’t want to tell him that you broke up with Hanjae, because it implies something that you don’t really want to imply, but it comes out in the course of conversation and you actually feel relieved. You don’t know what Jungkook feels about it, if anything, but he seems pleased for you. You feel like everything is so fragile, delicate, precarious. You stay talking at the window for what feels like hours (maybe it is) because you feel that to move will be to ruin the moment somehow, force a shift in the atmosphere that you don’t want.
Your eyes settle on the gold chain at his wrist and your fingers reach out for it, toying with it. Jungkook’s hand moves, into yours, his fingers dancing on your palm. You flick your eyes back to his and he’s smiling at you, shy and sweet. You let him take your hand and suddenly it’s a handshake and you’re snorting, laughing, leaning towards each other as your shoulders shake. You lean your head on his shoulder as your breath comes back and Jungkook moves his hand to waist, pulls you closer to him.
He’s still smiling when you lift your head to look at him and you’re staring back at him, wide-eyed and unsure. He pulls you closer still, his arm snaking around your waist and he kisses you without hesitation. His lips are soft but he isn’t; he’s sure and confident and he brings his thumb to your chin to gently press down, gently open your mouth and let him inside. You’re responding before you’ve had the opportunity to think. Your hands grab at the collar of his shirt and you move against him, a leg between his legs, his bottom lip between your teeth. You’re dizzied and light-headed, grateful to the cool glass at your back and Jungkook’s arms secure around you.
When he pulls back, with apparent effort, he rests his forehead on yours, nudges your nose with his and looks at you from under his thick, dark lashes.
“Honestly, I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he says, his voice hushed in the silence of the apartment, and then he barely brushes his lips against yours again, as if he just can’t help himself.
If you were confused earlier, you aren’t anymore. The world around you has faded to a fuzzy, black blur, eclipsed by the soft bloomings of want in your chest.
“I’ve wanted you to do that all night,” you whisper back, aware only as you’re saying it that it’s true. You have wanted him to do that. You want him to do it again and then a whole lot more.
He takes your face in his hands and kisses you, lightly, gently.
“I don’t usually do this,” he says, eyes alighting on yours for only a second before he’s looking at your lips again. “It’s not… This isn’t like me but…”
“I know,” you reply. “Me, too.”
“I feel…”
“Something.”
“Yeah.”
Your heart skips a beat when he looks at you and the world holds its breath; you almost feel time slow down, the seconds that it takes for his hands to fall from your face, glide down your body, and encircle you again stretch into minutes. The distance between your lips – not even inches – stretches far into the horizon. You almost feel each of the chambers of your heart squeeze, a rush of warmth heating your cheeks, your chest, your core.
And then his lips are on you and you’re like a Catherine wheel, spinning and sparking and wild. Time snaps back like an elastic band and you’re frantic now, all hands and lips and tongue.
You slip your fingers into his shirt, flicking open the buttons, running your hands over his body, soft and supple and flushed. His hands push your dress higher and higher, over the slope of your hips and he lifts you, pushing you against the glass and pushing his body into yours. You can feel the arousal pooled at your core and you can feel him straining against his trousers. You’re wet like you’ve been waiting all night for it, like you’ve been anticipating this very moment since you first laid eyes on him. You push his shirt to the floor, watching it float down like a white flag of surrender: surrendering yourself to him, he to you, to this, whatever this is or could be.
“Oh, fuck, fuck.”
Soft whispers tumble from you as Jungkook’s fingers slide past your underwear and press into your wet heat. Your cunt squeezes against them and your hips cant towards him as he presses his thumb against your clit. Your whimpering, whining, mewling barely drowns out the squelch of his fingers working inside you, arousal dripping down his hand. You’re climbing steadily to your peak, moaning against his mouth as he rolls his tongue with yours. You pull on his hair, his head tipping back, his throat exposed. He looks down at you with heavy-lidded eyes and a slack jaw. Then he grins, thrumming faster, pressing harder and you’re squirming. You let go of his hair to clutch around his shoulders, holding on hard as your own head tips back, thudding against the glass.
Jungkook brings his face close to yours and nudges your nose with his, gently guiding your attention back to him. He holds your gaze as your legs quiver and shake, as your breath hitches and you close your eyes, so, so close now.
“Look at me.” His voice is low, soft, but demanding. “I want to see you… I want you to look at me when you come.”
And you do. Your eyes don’t leave his as you fall apart in his arms, pleasure coursing through you like a lightning strike. You’ve barely finished before he’s crashing his lips into you, urgent and needy and then suddenly neither of those things. He slows. He removes his fingers from your soaking wet slip and he holds you close to him, just barely grinding his hips into you. His kiss is deep, languorous, like he’s really tasting you now. The quiet moan he makes as his tongue rolls with yours makes your heart skip a beat and you’re weak. So weak that, when he drops you, lightly, your feet returning to the floor, you almost stumble, almost fall. But he’s got you.
He pushes your dress back down, smoothing it out so he can unzip it. He finally breaks your kiss as he pulls it from your shoulders, letting it slip down your arms. You’re braless and goosebumps sprinkle all over your skin, your nipples shivering to attention. You run your hands through Jungkook’s hair as he dips his head, lowers himself to kiss your neck, your chest, to run his tongue up the underside of your breast and suck your tight little bud into his mouth. The glass at your back is cold but he is so warm in front of you.
He drops to his knees, hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and pulls them to the floor. You step out and he flings them away.
“I want to make you come again.”
He looks up at you and his eyes are wide, imploring, asking, seeking, searching and it’s all you can do to just nod. You’ve had one-night stands and hook-ups and situationships and even boyfriends who haven’t said that to you, who haven’t cared enough to try for one, let alone more.
He’s still looking at you when he puts his mouth on you and runs his tongue through your folds. You let your head fall back again, eyes to the ceiling. Jungkook grunts, the vibration against you a little shock. You look back down at him and he nods, swirling his tongue around your clit, and you understand: he wants you to look at him, he wants to see you and wants you to see him seeing you, as you have all evening. Because he does. See you. He sees you like no one else has. You can already feel it bubbling up within you. You can sense his soul reaching out to yours as yours reaches back to him. You think to yourself that you would probably have fallen in love with him even if he weren’t so good at—
“Oh, fuck, Jungkook. Fuck. Yes, like that.”
He’s fucking you with his fingers again with his mouth sealed around your clit, the soft plane of his tongue pressing against it, sucking and then lapping. You grab onto his hair, hard, grounding you, something, anything to tether you to this world as you feel yourself floating away.
He groans and you understand his instruction, having to drag your eyes back to his. His brows are furrowed, eyes shining bright. Looking into his eyes at this moment is like falling into an abyss. Tumbling and twisting, your body writhes with pleasure, shuddering against the window as you come again, a cry strangled in your throat, legs shaking and then you’re literally falling, sliding down the glass. Jungkook follows you down, his fingers still pressing against you as he kisses up your stomach, your chest, and then he’s holding you. You’re in his arms and he’s kissing you, your own arousal all over his lips and his tongue.
“You ok?” he asks, his voice thick and low.
You couldn’t speak. Could only take his face between your palms and kiss him again. He lifts you up into his lap, so you’re straddling him, knees either side of his hips, and you can feel him, pressing against his trousers, trapped and tensed. You sit down a little further and roll your hips over him; he groans into your mouth and his hands on your glutes squeeze tight.
“Jungkook,” you whisper and he whispers your name back. “Please.”
He lifts you from his lap and kneels up, hands working at his belt and his zip. He stands to shuck them down his legs and kicks them off. You look up at him and ask,
“Do you have…?”
He nods, crossing the room to his wallet on the sideboard by the door. You press your hands against the cool glass of the window, but rather than cooling you, it warms, too. There is heat all over you, burning around you.
Jungkook returns and falls to his knees, condom in hand. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and mumbles, rolling his eyes at himself as he stands once more to push them all the way down and off. You giggle, reaching out for him, rising on your knees as he slides the rubber over his length. He pulls you to your feet and cages you in against the window, lips capturing yours.
He bites down on your lower lip and you can feel him at your entrance. He’s rubbing his length along your slick slit and you’re whimpering, walls fluttering, heart racing. He breaks the kiss to look you in the eye as he pushes into you. A soft gasp leaves you and your hands circle tight around his biceps. You can feel him slow, his eyes watching you carefully now.
“No, don’t stop, don’t stop. It feels good. Please.”
He continues, still slowly, and, when he’s all the way in, he kisses you again, pressing his body against yours.
“Jungkook,” you breathe, but whatever you were about to say disappears into a moan as he drags his cock out and then pushes back in. He moans back and brings a hand to your breast, his thumb rubbing light circles against your pert nipple. You’re already not sure how you’re still standing and then he lowers his lips to your neck and sucks at just exactly the right spot. Your legs tremble and your cunt quivers and you feel his hot breath against your skin as he chuckles.
“You like that, huh?”
“Yes.”
He says no more and his lips return to the sweet spot on your neck. You cling to him, gripping tightly, every pass of the head of his dick against your g-spot a test of your strength, fading rapidly as you start to drown in him. He thrusts deep and slow with little grunts of effort, like he’s holding back.
“Jungkook, I—”
“Yes?”
He’s looking at you again and, up close like this, he takes your breath away.
“I want more. More. I-… I can’t stand, but I wan—oh.”
He doesn’t even let you finish before he’s grabbing you, his hands at the backs of your thighs lifting you, taking all your weight onto him. You wrap your legs around him and he moves faster now, harder, looking down at where he disappears into you. He’s more vocal, louder, as he fucks you into the window and the sound of him, his pleasure, his pleasure in you, stirs you. You’re fucked out and weak but your desire renews your force. You squeeze your walls against him and he curses.
“Shit.”
You do it again and a tiny chuckle bubbles up in his throat.
“Baby, you are dangerous. You’re—fuck, hngh—you’re going to make me come.”
He’s panting and breathy and his hair sticks to his forehead. You wrap you arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, his jaw, bite at his earlobe.
“Isn’t that the point?” you whisper.
A shudder runs through him and he growls, his grip on you tighter, even painfully tight. You pull back to look at him and his eyes are black, his jaw set, his brow furrowed. But he’s still looking at you; his eyes aren’t glazed, aren’t elsewhere, aren’t looking through you. He’s seeing you and you feel naked but not afraid, not exposed. You hold his face and kiss him and he grunts, groans; it’s open-mouthed and sloppy, your breath mingling as your tongues slide past and over each other.
He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours and his stare is so intense, from that alone you would know he was close. He’s cursing lightly, repeatedly, fucking you hard, and then he’s coming, too, with a shudder and an animal groan, guttural and low.
He lowers you both down to the floor and lays you down, kissing you lightly, almost politely, as he brushes your hair from your face. He turns away and stands, disposing of the used condom and grabbing the blanket from the sofa. You just watch him return to you, settling next to you on the floor, covering both your bodies.
You look at the window where your heat and sweat have condensed in an already fading cloud. You laugh and point it out; he laughs, too.
“It’s almost gone already,” he says, watching it shrink, disappear, self-effacing.
You hum. This is usually when you’d feel awkward, make a show of being polite, get up and go but you don’t want to leave; you want to stay right where you are and watch the sun rise with him. You want to yawn and stretch yourself like a cat before curling against him and sleeping through the morning. You want to kiss him both goodnight and good morning. You look at him looking at the window and imagine an entire life with him, spanning years and decades in a second. Your heart beats heavy in your chest and you wonder if he can feel it, if he feels it, too.
When he finally looks back at you, you know. He kisses you like you’re precious, gently traces the shapes of your face with featherlight fingers. You shiver and he pulls you closer into his warm body, pulls the blanket tighter around you.
“Y’know,” he says, pausing to kiss you again. “I’m really glad I went to that party.”
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starlostseungmin · 7 months
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— better than “i love you”, ksm.
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happy birthday to the love of my life, seungmin! here’s a short drabble i made the other day. it’s supposed to be posted last month but i decided to have it on his birthday.
taglist: @lix-ables , @zoe8stay , @alyszaen , @djeniryuu , @ppiri-bahng , @sleepyleeji , @notastraykid , @skzfelixlove , @seungly , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @ohish , @comet-falls , @mrswolfiechan , @rachabreathing , @iadorethemskz , @minluvly , @dreamingsmile , @flirtyskzbutterfly , @tangylemonade , @gwynsapphire , @annispamz , @surefornext , @seungincore , @skz1-4-3 , @hanjingin , @hyunverse , @hwaberryjuice , @felixglow , @soonyoungblr , @awkwardnesshabitat ( color blue user/s are the ones i can’t tag )
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“i think it’s commonly used,” your boyfriend, seungmin uttered as his eyes focused on the movie you were watching as he played with your hair. 
“what?” you asked, looking at him while you lay on his lap. 
“saying i love you as if there are no other words to describe how you are feeling,” he answered. “i love you have a lot of deep reasons inside,” he added as you chuckled in response, sitting up next to him. 
“okay smarty pants, what’s better than i love you?” you asked hearing him sighing in response. 
“for me? or from my perspective about the movie?” he asked. 
“about how you feel,” you answered, making him smile. 
“hmm,” he paused. “i wouldn’t say i love you directly, it can be hypothetical but you always know what i mean. it may sound cringy for some but for me, they’re not.” 
“you’re practically lovesick, seungmin,” 
“no,” he defended. “what i’m trying to say is, i can’t survive a day without seeing you, i am not comfortable if we’re not talking, i don’t want us to fight and go to sleep without talking about the problem, i want to be clingy to you and only you. you always shine and stand out to me, you’re so special, even if you say you’re not perfect, but to me, you always have been. it doesn’t matter if you have flaws, i embrace them with full acceptance because it’s you. your voice feels like a lullaby when you talk. it’s the way my heart beats for you every time. i always remember the smallest details about you, the things you like, the things you don’t like, the books you read, the songs you sing in the shower, the food you always enjoy, and your favorite brands. your contagious laugh. you’re the most beautiful when you smile, you’re like sunshine when you’re happy. the way you just run up to me and hug me when you’re sad or the way you don’t mind how clingy i get when it’s just the two of us. you always hug me when i get home from work, or just when you see me. there’s a reason why you’re my home, y/n. i respect you so much that i don’t want to cross lines and say sorry when i’m wrong. saying i love you is not enough to describe how these things made me feel, 3 words were just a way to shorten a speech but making it full like this can change someone’s perspective, i know i don’t say i love you that much but i want to express it by saying other things,” 
your smile grew bigger as a tear fell on your cheek while listening to him. it was good, it was better, and you know exactly that you feel the same way as he describes everything. 
“i didn’t know you were this down bad,” you smiled but seungmin just scoffed, trying to compose his cool after letting his guard down. 
“one last thing, you always make fun of me when i get serious,” he sighs. 
“you don’t mind me anyway, but i respect you so much seungmin,” you smiled. “the movie doesn’t make sense at all to me now, even if they always say i love you. you’re better than the movies and books seungmin, you always have been,” 
seungmin smiled at you as he planted his lips on yours, “i love you,”
“i know,” you said pecking his lips, “and i love you most,” 
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feedbacks and reblogs are highly appreciated.
©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑.
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melzula · 1 month
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North and South
part three
pairing: zuko x princess!reader
notes: we’re finally at the end! i hope you guys like some of the changes i made to the original comic storyline :)
summary: with Gilak in jail and the Northerners gone you assume the worst is over, but the festival incident was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how far the man is willing to go
~ part of the fire lilies series ~
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You don’t understand how everything has gotten so out of control.
What was meant to be a wonderful celebration of your friends’ return home had quickly been ruined Gilak’s ambush, and if not for Katara’s ability to heal Hakoda woukd have lost his life tonight. Tensions are high in the South, and you find yourself overwhelmed with worry for the future of the Water Tribe. If your people can’t even get along with each other, how will you ever be able to connect with the other nations?
“I don’t know what to do,” you admit in defeat as Zuko watches you pace back and forth from his place on your bed. “I know Gilak doesn’t speak for everyone, and for the most part everyone has been onboard with the changes we’ve made to the South, but there are still some Southerners who share his sentiment, and I don’t know how to fix it so that everyone is happy.”
“That’s the thing, y/n,” Zuko corrects you gently, being sure to phrase his words carefully so as to not upset you, “you can’t make everyone happy. It’s impossible. As leader you have to do what’s best for the majority, even if it means not everyone will like it. Just look at the New Ozai Society. They’ll never be happy no matter what I do as Fire Lord, but I don’t let their dislike for my decisions influence how I lead the Fire Nation.”
“I suppose you’re right,” you relent with a dejected sigh, flopping down beside him in defeat and sprawling out onto the blankets. “I just can’t help but feel like I should be doing more as Chief. I didn’t know about Gilak and his army, and I certainly didn’t know about Maliq’s ulterior motives regarding the oil refinery. Shouldn’t I have known?”
“You can’t be everywhere at once. You have to remember you’ve been busy rebuilding an entire tribe from the ground up while also trying to restore a part of your culture that was almost lost forever. You’re doing more than enough, and your people are grateful for all you do,” he assures you with a careful smile as he gently pushes back the hair from your face. “Maliq and his crew are leaving by morning and Gilak is in jail. Tomorrow will be better.”
“I’m so glad you’re here,” you express earnestly as you pull yourself up and press a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know how I’d get through all of this without you.”
“Well it’s a good thing you don’t have to,” he smiles before sweetly brushing his nose against your own. After the chaos of the day, it’s nice to finally have a moment to settle down with your boyfriend, and you’re appreciative of the comfort Zuko always manages to bring you no matter how stressful the situation.
“Did you at least have fun at the festival? You know, before the whole drill incident,” you ask with a sheepish smile as you begin to carefully remove the braids you’d styled into Zuko’s hair for the party.
“I did,” he breathes out in a laugh, immediately melting at the sensation of your careful fingers combing through his hair. “It was a wonderful festival.”
He says nothing more as you continue to brush through his locks; it’s gotten longer since the last time you’ve seen him, and you enjoy the change. You’ve always loved his hair, and you appreciate the fact that he allows you the intimacy of brushing it for him.
“Do you think the conference will go well tomorrow? I’m afraid it might be too soon to start our work with the Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation if we can’t even seem to get along with the North.”
“You can’t wait for progress,” Zuko notes thoughtfully. “Making connections will only improve the South’s rebuilding process.”
You hum thoughtfully in response, but your mind begins to wander. You’re trying to see things from an open perspective, making changes that will benefit your people without forgetting about their past, but you haven’t been completely open to Hakoda’s suggestions. You were quick to shut down the idea of the oil rig despite its benefits, and though you’d been proven right about the problems such a project could cause, you also knew that not using available resources would also stunt the tribe’s growth. Zuko says you can’t wait for progress, but how do you know when the time is right?
“We should rest,” you suggest after finishing your work. “We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
“I guess you’re right,” he relents with a sigh before rising from his seat on your bed. “I’ll see you in the morning?”
“You will,” you assure him before gifting him a kiss goodnight and watching him exit your room. Now alone, you collapse back onto your bed with an exhausted sigh.
“Tomorrow will be better,” you try to remind yourself.
But you’re not sure if you entirely believe that.
~~~
The day is calmer now that the construction crew is gone and Gilak is locked away. There are a handful of protestors outside the palace gates who demand that all foreigners leave the South, but they don’t seem to speak for the majority of your people, and for that you are grateful. Sokka and Toph manage crowd control while you prepare for the arrival of King Kue and the conference that is to take place today. Things are normal for the most part and your plans are back on track, so you try to remain positive and focused on the tasks at hand.
“Are you sure this conference is a good idea, y/n?” Katara asks after pulling you aside to express her concerns with you privately, the uncertainty clear on her features. “After everything that’s happened maybe the South just needs to handle things on its own first before starting to work with other nations.”
“I understand your concern, but with most of the Northerners gone we basically are on our own now. There are just some things the South can’t do by itself, so collaborating with other countries will not only give us connections but possible resources as well. I have to look at the bigger picture here.”
Katara is silent for a moment as she digests your words, but after a few moments of contemplation she finally gives you a nod. “I trust you’ll do what’s best for the tribe. I just don’t want us to end up becoming a cheap imitation of the North or lose our identity by inviting other Nations into our home.”
“Do you remember the conflict that arose during the Harmony Restoration Movement when the Earth King tried to separate the colonies?” You ask her with a faint smile, continuing when she gives you a puzzled yes as an answer. “We realized keeping the Fire and Earth people apart would do more harm than good for the future of the world and decided we needed to work together to build peace. Our entire friend group is composed of different nations, and our relationships too. My future with Zuko is dependent on our homes working together, on our people connecting with one another, and so I ask that you try to view this situation the same way you viewed it then.”
“I guess I never thought of it that way,” the water bender admits guiltily, your words obviously having struck a nerve with her. Who was she to pick and choose who got to work together and who didn’t? You had a point, and it was making her question how she truly felt about the changes occurring in her home.
“Chief y/n,” Hakoda calls from the doorway, promptly ending your discussion with Katara, “King Kue has arrived.”
The Earth King enters the meeting room with a look of awe as he observes the interior of the chamber and admires the Southern architecture of the building, and you promptly bow in respect in his presence before offering him your hand to shake.
“King Kue, it’s my honor to have you here in the South. We greatly appreciate you taking the time to attend this conference.”
“I’ve been wanting to visit the South Pole for years since meeting you all! It’s wonderful albeit freezing,” he admits with a sheepish chuckle while taking your hand.
“We’re happy to have you here, and after the conference I’d be glad to give you a tour,” you sincerely assure him before guiding him to his seat.
With all of your friends and the king present, you’re able to begin your presentation alongside Hakoda. You let him and Malina take the reins for the first half as they detail their plans to create an updated harbor for the South. They explain the logistics and the benefits of the project before allowing you to take over and explain the diplomatic prospects.
“Our hope is that this harbor will give the world a chance to visit our home and partake in our commerce as well as educate themselves on our history. Through outreach we hope to build stronger connections with our neighboring nations and establish an era of harmony and peace,” you explain with a pleased smile, eager to convey your ideas for the other leaders to hear. This is definitely the biggest thing you’ve done as Chief so far, and you briefly wonder if your father would be proud to see how far you’ve come.
“Chief y/n also came up with the idea of establishing embassies in both of your nations as well as allowing you to do the same here to further outreach between our people. However, as advisor I must note we don’t necessarily have the funds to enact this plan,” Hakoda states plainly, exchanging glances with you before looking to Zuko and Kue, “and that is why we’ve invited you here. We would be thrilled to have your partnership to make this vision a reality and strengthen the bond between our homes.”
You hopefully scan the room to gauge their reactions, and for the most part everyone seems to be open to your plan- well, everyone but Katara. It isn’t easy to ignore the subtle disapproval on her features and her obvious hesitance to opening up the South to the world, and it diminishes your optimistic mood. You recall what Zuko had said about not being to make everyone happy, but it��s hard to do when it’s one of your closest friends that seems to disapprove of your choices.
“You can count the Fire Nation in,” Zuko says proudly while directing his gaze from Hakoda to you. “Your people have suffered so much destruction at our hands, and we are grateful for the opportunity to help you rebuild.”
“Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko. Your efforts are greatly appreciated,” you express sincerely, taking extra care to be professional when speaking to your boyfriend in front of your peers.
“I’m sorry that the Earth Kingdom can’t offer our support so readily. We have so many of our own needs at home,” King Kue states sullenly with obvious disappointment clear in his tone. “But if I could show my advisers that the Southern Water Tribe is going to make measurable, concrete progress toward civilization-“
“Excuse me?!” Katara butts in harshly. The offense is clear in her tone, and her outburst takes everyone by surprise.
“Oh dear, please forgive the clumsiness of my words, Katara! I should have phrased it differently,” he quickly interjects in a panic. “We would simply want you to achieve a higher form where the South becomes a cleaner, safer, nicer-“
“King Kue,” you interrupt gently as you do your best to remain calm despite your displeasure at his words, “please be mindful when speaking about our home. You are a guest here, and just as we treat you with respect we expect the same.”
“Of course! What I meant to say was-“
“Chief y/n!” A voice interrupts as one of your guards bursts into the room. His tone and features are full of urgency as he approaches. “We’ve just received an alert from the prison! Gilak and his army-“
You cry out in horror as the man is swiftly knocked unconscious by a boomerang, and all your friends quickly jump up from the table in preparation to defend themselves from the oncoming threat. Zuko is by your side in an instant, guarding your figure with his own so that you’re kept away from the danger. He knows you can handle yourself, but after what happened with Koa he isn’t taking any chances this time.
Gilak and his men flood through the doorway, his malicious gaze focused on Hakoda who stands in the center of the room and protectively shields Malina from the group.
“Look at you, Hakoda. So eager to sell our tribe to foreign masters! And you,” he says in disdain as he points his boomerang in your direction, “so easy to be brainwashed by your advisor and your ash maker boyfriend. So easy to manipulate and fool. Perhaps Koa was right about you, y/n. What does a little girl know about running a tribe?”
“You watch your mouth!” Sokka cries out harshly in defense of you and his father.
“You watch it, boy. We’re taking over this meeting.”
“For the tribe!” Gilak’s soldiers cry out before all chaos breaks loose. Two of his men charge towards you only for Zuko to shoot flames towards them in retaliation.
“Stay back!” He commands fiercely, but your own safety is the least of your worries at the moment.
“Protect the Earth King!” You call out as you send a blast of snow into the gut of an attacker before they can reach Kue. Another soldier tries to strike you from behind, but you’re able to quickly dodge their attack before encasing their feet in ice so they can longer attempt an attack on you or your friends. “You swore an oath to serve the royal family and the people of this tribe! How dare you turn against me?!”
“It’s not us you should be worrying about, Chief,” the woman glowers scornfully. “It’s that no good Hakoda and your Fire Lord boyfriend you should be looking out for. They’ve made you forget who you are.”
“I know who I am,” you utter lowly before raising your hands to lift the ice so it encases her entire body. “Maybe you should think about who you are while you wait for the ice to melt.”
Your attention is pulled away from the guard at the sound of a loud crash, and you barely manage to catch a glimpse of Gilak narrowly missing Zuko as he brings his whale tooth blade down into the table. Gasping, you quickly maneuver the water around your arms to form tentacles that wrap around the man’s torso and lift him into the air before slamming him back down again. The impact is forceful enough to disable him of his weapon, and Zuko quickly kicks it away from his grasp.
“Thank you,” he breathes out in relief, clearly overwhelmed from the sudden chaos. You don’t have time to reply as more of Gilak’s army begin to break through the windows and wreak havoc on the palace. You’re completely surrounded, and despite your best efforts to fight them off you can’t ignore the fact that you’re outnumbered. You briefly remember to thank the spirits for the fact that your mother is out visiting Kanna and Pakku and not here in the midst of the danger.
Gilak gets a hold of Hakoda while the rest of you are distracted fighting his warriors, and your friends are quick to rush out after him. You follow in suit only to hesitate when you realize someone must stay behind to guard Kue. You trust in your group’s ability to handle Gilak on their own, but you don’t exactly trust the King to take care of himself. Without anyone noticing, you slip back into the meeting room in search of the monarch.
“Your highness! Your highness, we have to get you out of here!” You call out while frantically scanning the room for him. The chamber is dead silent and questioningly empty considering it had just been teeming with invaders, and there isn’t a single sign of Kue.
You hear the crunching of glass behind you and quickly pivot your body towards the noise, and the sound is enough of a distraction for you to be ambushed by chi-blockers who quickly disarm you of your bending and let your body fall to the floor with a thud.
“Not so high and mighty now, are you, ‘Chief’?” One of them taunts before moving out of the way so another can scoop your limp figure off the ground.
“Where is King Kue?!” You demand as you your eyes look around the room in a panicked hunt for the man.
“Relax, that oaf is fine,” the girl brushes you off with a dismissive wave of her hands. “He’s hiding in a closet somewhere like the coward he is. Besides, it was never about him. We knew you’d be stupid enough to come back for him, and you took the bait.”
“What do you mean?” You say in disbelief as they begin to sneak you out through one of the hallways before your friends can notice.
“You’re the problem with this place, you’re the one who let the outsiders in. We need someone new in charge, but we can’t do that until we get rid of you and Hakoda first.”
Dread fills your stomach at her explanation, and you’re able to do nothing but hang limply over the man’s shoulder as they take you to their hideout. For the sake of the tribe you hope Hakoda and your friends are okay, and you hope they can find you before it’s too late.
Outside of the palace, Gilak and his men have vanished and Hakoda has been returned safely to his children. It seems the chaos is over until Zuko looks to his side and notices his Princess is nowhere to be seen. Panic immediately fills his gut as he rushes back into the palace and begins his feverish search for her.
“Y/n! My love, where are you?!” He calls out, and after finding no sign of you anywhere his worry begins to morph into anger. “No… No!”
“What’s wrong, Zuko?” Toph demands after hearing his enraged roars. The group looks to Zuko with concern in their gazes as he lets out a vengeful blast of flames from his mouth. The Fire Lord is seething, and there’s only one cause for his fury.
“They took y/n.”
~~~
You sit in an empty room tied to a chair with Gilak as your only form of company. For a long while neither of you speak, both of you locked into a staring contest as his eyes of contempt meet your own indignant ones.
“It didn’t have to be this way,” he finally says to break the silence, slowly beginning to circle around your chair like a shark. “I tried to get you to see things from our perspective, but you were just too stubborn. You didn’t want to see the danger in front of you, and even when Maliq disrespected you in front of the entire tribe you still went ahead and invited outsiders into the South.”
“What is so wrong about working with others?” You demand fruitlessly, unable to comprehend how he can be filled with so much hatred. “Not every outsider is bad, but you’re too full of resentment to see that! We’ve been able to accomplish great things because of the help of our sister tribe, and with the help of the Fire Nation-“
“The Fire Nation?!” Gilak bellows angrily, and you can’t help but to flinch in fear at his outburst. “They burned down our outer villages, desecrated our water benders, took our Chief from us! They are the reason we must rebuild in the first place! And yet you invite the Fire Lord onto our land simply because you let your love for him blind you of his true nature.”
“The Fire Nation did horrible things, yes. But Zuko is trying to right the wrongs of the past. There is good in his heart as there is in the hearts of other Fire Nation citizens. I’ve witnessed it firsthand. We cannot remain stuck in the past if we wish to build a future.”
“There is no future for the Southern Water Tribe with you and Hakoda in charge, and that’s why I’m taking matters into my own hands,” he says menacingly before signaling for two of his guards to remove you from the chair and bind your limbs together so you can be transported out of the tunnels.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’ve sent a letter to Hakoda asking him to meet me at the Bridge of No Return. He’s under the impression he’ll be trading his life for yours, but once he sets foot on that bridge and meets you in the center I’ll cut the line before either of you can make it safely across.”
“No…” you utter in disbelief, panic beginning to settle in your gut.
“The South will finally be rid of its problem, and then we can truly begin to strengthen our tribe.”
You’re able to say nothing more as a cloth is tied around your mouth to keep you from speaking. The last thing they want is for you to try and warn the others of their plan once you get to the bridge.
The guards carry you away, and you desperately try to come up with a plan of escape before it’s too late.
~~~
Zuko is anxious as he makes his way up the mountains. While fruitlessly searching endless tunnels hadn’t brought you back to him, receiving the letter from Gilak detailing your whereabouts didn’t exactly ease his nerves either. You were in danger, and if for some reason Sokka’s plan failed your life could be lost tonight. The thought almost sends him reeling, but he reminds himself to stay focused on the task at hand. He needs to be at his best if he plans to get you back safely- he promised your distraught mother he’d return you to her alive, and that’s what he planned to do.
“There she is!” Sokka exclaims as he points to your sullen figure across the way. Your arms are completely bound and a cloth is wrapped around your mouth to keep you quiet, and the sight has Zuko fuming. How dare they treat you so disrespectfully? He begins to rush forward only for Sokka to halt his efforts. “Hold on, buddy. I know you want her back safe but we can’t make any rash decisions or this plan won’t work.”
Zuko falters, huffing out a breath of smoke through his nose in protest before backing off. His eyes meet your desperate ones from across the way and his chest aches at the sight. He’d failed to protect you, and now you were a captive being used as bait for Gilak’s plan. He shouldn’t have left you behind, he shouldn’t have taken his eyes off of you, and he shouldn’t have let this happen.
You watch helplessly from across the way as Gilak sends his chi-blockers towards your friends and wince on their behalf as they receive the paralyzing blows. You let out a muffled cry of alarm as one by one they collapse to the ground, but you’re unable to do anything as the man gives you a harsh shove from behind.
“Get moving, Princess. Your time is up.”
You stumble forward onto the rickety bridge and take cautious steps in fear the wood falling out from beneath you. Hakoda meets you halfway before carefully pulling down the cloth from your mouth. Your features are frantic as you immediately utter jumbled pleas for him to leave.
“Hakoda, they’re going to cut the bridge! You have to get off,” you urge him desperately, tears welling in your eyes as you try to shove him back. The man rests his hands upon your shoulders to stop your movements before reaching down to remove your binds.
“I know,” he says softly as he gives you a reassuring smile before looking across the way. “I promise you we’re going to be okay.”
You follow his gaze to see Malina using her bending to stop Gilak from cutting the bridge. On the other side, your friends have risen from the ground and are busy taking out his army of soldiers. His plan has failed, and Hakoda quickly begins to usher you across the unstable structure.
The bridge begin to tremble as more weight is added onto it, and behind you Gilak angrily chases after you and Hakoda with a torch in hand. He doesn’t plan to give up so easily, so consumed by hatred that it’s made him crazed.
“I’m not letting either of you get away with this! You need to be punished for what you’ve done!” He roars angrily before charging at you both. “I’m going to take you down even if it means I have to go with you.”
“Are you mad?!” Hakoda cries before shoving you behind him to keep you out of Gilak’s reach. Another jolt shoots through the structure as Malina attempts to stop your attacker, but her efforts only cause him to involuntarily light the bridge aflame with his torch. As the two struggle for control over one another, Zuko dashes onto the bridge and uses his bending to put the fire before it can spread.
“Zuko!” You cry out in relief at the sight of him, only wanting his comfort after everything you’ve been through in the last twenty four hours. He meets your eyes and smiles in relief at the fact that you’re okay, but his features quickly morph into ones of dread as the burnt rope snaps and the bridge collapses. Your stomach drops as your feet lose contact with the ground beneath you, but the Fire Lord is quick to reach out and capture you by the wrist before you can fall.
“Hold on tight!” He tells you, making sure your hold on his forearm is secure before he propels the two of you upward using the streams of flames he releases from his feet. You land safely on the fresh snow below you, and you’re more than grateful to finally feel the ground beneath you again.
“Oh, Zuko!” You breathe out in relief before throwing yourself into his arms and holding him tight. His warmth soothes the chill in your bones from being so close to death, and he’s quick to return your embrace.
“I’m here,” he assures you as he carefully strokes your back. “I’ve got you.”
“Where’s King Kue?” You ask as you rapidly scan the area in search of the man. “Is he alright?”
“He’s fine, Pakku and your mother are looking after him. Are you okay?” He reiterates before pulling out of the hug to get a look at you. Indents have been left behind on your cheeks from the cloth that had been tightly wrapped around your head, and Zuko carefully looks you over for any other signs of hurt.
“I’m okay,” you promise him with a quick nod. “The chi-blocking wore off, I just feel tingly from being tied up is all.”
“They tied you up?!” Zuko exclaims angrily only to calm down when he sees the abashed look on your face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice. It just makes me so upset to think that someone would want to hurt you. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you.”
“It’s not your fault, Zuko,” you correct him with a slight frown. “If it weren’t for you I would have fallen of that bridge.”
“Speaking of which,” Sokka interrupts urgently as he directs your attention to the collapsing structure, “it’s about to give! How are we gonna get them back up here!”
“I can go back down and get them,” Zuko insists only for Sokka to wave him off.
“Your weight would make it collapse before we could save anyone.”
“I’ll try to keep it stable!” Toph offers as she uses her earth bending to support the structure. “You guys are gonna have to work fast, I’m not sure how long this will hold.”
You watch as Katara and Aang spring into action to gather the others, and the Avatar is able to grab hold of them right as the bridge finally falls apart. He struggles to bring them up, and you watch anxiously as he flies his guider back towards the cliff top. Gilak isn’t making it an easy task he makes a last ditch attempt to lash at Hakoda, but the man only succeeds in losing his grip in the process and falling towards the bottom of the cliff.
“Gilak!” You cry out in horror, turning away so you don’t have to watch the man plummet to his death. Despite all he’s done, you’d never wish for death on anyone, and so you’re torn at the fact that this is how the conflict will end.
“There was nothing Aang could do,” Zuko says in an attempt to comfort you, but you’re not sure if it helps. Hakoda and Malina are brought to safety, and you’re left to deal with the aftermath of all that’s occurred.
“How did you all overcome the chi-blocking?” You ask as your mind begins to process all that’s occurred. You couldn’t compute how your friends hadn’t been susceptible to the blocks like you had.
“Metal armor!” Sokka explains proudly while showcasing you his invention. “It was my idea, but Toph made it a reality.”
“Sokka, you genius!” You laugh, throwing your arms around him in a hug full of gratitude for his help. “I can always count on you to figure out a solution to every problem.”
“Thank you, y/n, I am a genius.”
“Please don’t make his ego any bigger than it needs to be,” Katara teases before taking your hands in her own and giving them a gentle squeeze. “I’m glad you’re okay, and I’ve been thinking about what you said, about changing my perspective. I think you’re right.”
“I’m happy you see it that way,” you tell her with a careful smile before looking to her father and Malina. “And I think it’s time I did the same. If you both can come up with a revised proposal for an ecofriendly oil refinery that will benefit the South, I’d be happy to give it another look.”
“Thank you, Chief y/n,” Hakoda says gratefully, sharing an excited glance with Malina, “we appreciate your openness.”
“We need to get you back to the palace,” Zuko tells you while resting a careful hand on your back. “Your mother is probably worried sick waiting for you, and I promised I’d bring you home safely.”
“Spirits, you’re right,” your murmur fretfully before taking hold of his hand and quickly beginning your descent down the mountain.
“They’re good for each other, aren’t they?” Hakoda notes to your friends as he watches your figures disappear over the hill.
“They are,” Katara agrees with a faint smile, her mind beginning to imagine what your future will look like. The embassies will provide a good foundation for the relationship of the Water Tribe and Fire Nation, and the project will be a testament to what you and Zuko had proved long ago.
The fate of the nations are in good hands.
~~~
The South has settled back into its normal routine. With the death of Gilak and arrests of his army came the end of the protests, and reconstruction was able to resume without the threat of unrest or discontent among your people.
You stand inside the museum with Zuko by your side, your hands interlocked as you stare at the wall before you. You’re in the hall of royal families, an area full of photos and relics of all the people from the past and present. You’d ventured into the Princess exhibit and were now staring at your wanted poster hanging on the wall of your section. You’d swiped the scroll from a Fire Nation market place while in disguise with the Avatar and his friends, and you felt it was an important piece of history to include in your exhibit.
“That’s the prettiest wanted poster I’ve seen,” Zuko comments with a small smile. “It’s strange to think how much has changed since this poster was made.”
“The past is a strange place,” you agree quietly before looking to your boyfriend. “Now that the war is over, do you ever find yourself thinking about the future?”
“Always,” he says, a familiar spark in his eyes as he stares down at you.
“We’re living proof that a strong connection between nations is possible. We always have been, and yet it scares people like Gilak.”
“People like Gilak fear change,” he murmurs lowly, the mere mention of the main leaving a bad taste in his mouth. “They fear going against tradition, and we are far from being a traditional couple.”
“Yeah, but I like it that way,” you say with a smile before reaching up to press a tender kiss to his lips. Zuko’s hands find their place on your hips as he pulls you in close to savor the feeling.
With peace in the South having been reestablished, you now have a good feeling about what awaits you in the future. It’s going to be complicated, there’s no arguing that, but you’re willing to face whatever challenges arise if it means getting to be with the boy you love.
You and Zuko are the hope for the future of your nations, and if your relationship has been able to withstand all the difficulties and heartaches that have come over the years, then there’s no doubt in your mind that your people will be able to do the same.
Water and fire are opposing elements, and yet you both work so well together. You’re two halves of a whole, and no one will ever be able to break you apart again.
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| atla tags: @sirkekselord @niktwazny303
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