#whatever you think it is it’s five times funnier
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say what you want, sambucky and hardisoneliot are the same ship in different fonts:
insufferable coworker
serving looks on the job
camaraderie
it’s been a long hard day
bro power
hugs, of course
totally not in love
and their chaotic (iconic) first meetings
so if you sambucky fans want a smart witty tech guy in love with a smart grumpy punchy guy, I highly recommend leverage! five seasons plus the reboot that is running that has two seasons so far
#look it’s all about hating your coworker to being willing to die for them and in love with them pipeline#enemies to loathed coworkers to friends to found family to lovers pipeline#parker is there too for the ot3 of course but for the purpose of this post ykyk#I’m not explaining the last photo watch the show for yourself#whatever you think it is it’s five times funnier#sometimes I think about how that eliot smiling at hardison pic was from season ONE and I combust. seASON ONE YALL#O N E#sambucky#hardison x eliot#leverage ot3#parker x hardison x eliot#marvel#tfatws#the falcon and the winter soldier#bucky barnes#sam wilson#alec hardison#eliot spencer#mlm#lgbt#mine#sometimes I like to imagine they’re in the same universe#i love those fics#I’m not into marvel too much anymore but I love the fics where eliot and sam are exes or that eliot is related to bucky#popular posts#1k
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Closer
Closer (Teaser) Closer: Too Close (Teaser) Masterlist Taglist
Plot: To have each other close is something that you both always wanted, in a way or another. It’s just that… close is not close enough anymore for Jungkook.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader
Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, Domestic, Humor, Friends to Lovers
Wordcount: 27k
Content Warning: mentions of masturbation, dirty talk, swearing, pining, minor injury, praise, cunnilingus, cum eating, unprotected sex, mentions of blowjob, masturbation, hand job, dry humping, multiple orgasms, love making, creampie
Author’s Note: Hello! I had the first line of this fic stuck in my notes for a while, it stayed there without really going anywhere, then inspiration came and the miracle happened in a few days. I like this so much so I hope you will like it too! There are some parts that just do things to my heart, one of these is inspired by Gaelforce. I don’t know if you follow him but if you do you sure will realise when you’ll get there!
Let me know what you think about it, again I hope you’ll like it!💜
If you want to be tagged in my taglis to get notified when my other works will come out let me know here, under this post, with a message or an ask. Feel free to talk to me for whatever, I always appreciate your messages!🫶🏻💜
Jungkook walked in on you using your vibrator as a microphone when you were nineteen, lipsynching as if your life depended on it.
He had laughed so fucking loud that time that you still feel your ears grow red when you think about it.
He has teased you for it from the moment it happened, still does it now.
Back then, it was so freaking hilarious he would bring it up every time you were too mad at him, to make you laugh it off and let go of the heavy atmosphere creating between you every time you used to fight as teenagers.
Five years afterwards, as of now, he still thinks about it from time to time. It makes him giggle when he’s in the middle of a meeting at work, when he has a stressful day, when he’s just laying in bed with his head empty. Usually, that would be the case. Now that you’re sitting on his couch with a bag of pop corns squished in your hands while the tv is playing though, is a new circumstance.
«What are you laughing at? You’re so loud» you wince at him, monotone and annoyed.
He licks his lips, shaking his head.
«Your vibrator still haunts me»
It takes you less than two seconds to realise what he’s talking about.
«You’re so annoying. Should I bring up the time you farted out loud in class too?»
«That’s not the same,» he laughs «I told you that I wasn’t feeling good but you insisted on going to class anyway»
«You didn’t go for three days straight-» you fight back, stopping yourself when the camera points on Park Seojun.
«Gosh, this man. I’m gonna marry him someday» you sigh dreamily. Jungkook snorts.
«Cause I was sick?» he opens the fridge.
«You drank with Jin the night before. You shouldn’t drink if you’re sick. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t hold it until class was over»
«You’re so noisy» he rummages through the shelves, finally finding the bowl of strawberries he was looking for.
«Want some?»
You quickly glance at him over the counter, pop corns stuffing your mouth full.
«No, thanks. I’m full with these»
He gets a spoon from the drawer, walking back to the sofa.
«The face you made when I walked in is still funnier than-»
«When you farted in front of the class?» you cut him off, trying to get some sense in his head.
«Hell, yeah» he laughs.
«You literally-»
«Okay, now stop!» you slap his ass before he gets a chance to sit down.
«Oh, yes keep going» he fakes a moan. You literally want to slap him hard enough to make him stop being an idiot, but you have to hold yourself back.
«Just shut up and let me see Park Seojun» you shake your head. Jungkook gets a spoonful of strawberries into his mouth, eyes falling on the screen and eyebrows pinched together.
It’s a Saturday, thanks God the both of you don’t work on weekends, so usually you both find yourself on the sofa, watching a movie or just messing around. You’ve known each other since you were sixteen, so to say that you’re pretty comfortable with each other is an understatement. Even when you first met him, the nineteen years old Jungkook never made you feel uneasy. You were inseparable. Best friends that used to sleep at each other’s place every three to four days because you were just used to it. It was natural, so natural that a lot of the people around you thought you were a couple. Back then, you would grimace and shake your head vividly, not even giving it a thought. Jungkook would laugh it off, heart beating loudly in his chest every time anyone made him imagine how it would’ve been.
«Do you still have it?» he asks, voice low as he stares at the screen.
«What?» you murmur. He doesn’t answer, his spoon scraping against the plastic of the bowl to get as much strawberries as he can into his mouth. He munches on them, gulping down and enjoying the sweet taste.
«That vibrator»
«Jungkook! What kind of question is that?» you stop the drama, his thigh getting hit by the remote.
«I was just asking!» he raises his hands as to make sure you understand he meant no harm, the bowl now sitting on his lap.
«Why would you ask that?» your tone makes his eyes smile first, as he always does. His eyes smile first, then his lips just follow.
«Why are you so sensitive about it? I won’t ask, but we both know you still use it» he gets up from the couch, getting to the sink to put the empty bawl inside.
«We say filthier things when we’re in bed!» he goes on from where he’s standing at. Your head is going to explode. It’s at times like this that you rethink about your life choices. From being sixteen and dumb, until you’re twenty four and ending up with sleeping with your best friend.
«In bed! Leave those for when we’re in bed!» you fight back, another pop corn getting shoved into your mouth.
«Okay,» he appears by your side «wanna go to bed so I can ask you?»
You can’t believe him.
«Jungkook!» he laughs, bright and out loud, crystal clear. It makes your insides twist and turn with the need of shutting him up.
It’s not like it’s a everyday thing, sleeping together. It just happened three times, out of the blue. You both agreed that it’s not something big, something that will change your bond or friendship, it’s just something that… you both needed? In those moments, you guess. Maybe mentally? However you try to justify it, the answer is always the same: nothing is going to change between you. It’s just sex. But for the sake of your relationship, you try to keep it where it belongs: in bed. Talking about such things outside can be confusing, it can lead your friendship too places you don’t want it to be. You love Jungkook, as your friend. Being too sexual won’t lead to good places, just a fucked up friendship and a fuckbuddy living with you. So you both better keep your minds at bay, don’t pass the limits of friendship at least when you can.
«I’m going to get a shower» you announce, shutting the tv and getting up from the couch. His eyes are questioning, but you just tap his shoulder.
«Put this away, please?» you hand the pop corns to Jungkook. He grabs the bag.
«Why?» you’re already almost out of the living room when he asks.
«I’m going out tonight!»
«With the girls?» he raises his voice a bit to make you hear him from the other room, as he looks for a peg in the drawer to close the popcorns.
«Yeah, it’s Eunji’s birthday!» you remind him. Jungkook winces, he knows what that means. You will come back home late, and you’ll end up being awake until morning cause you hate going to clubs and will feel like you have to make up for the six hours you lost in there. You still do it, for your friends, but it’s something that you don’t enjoy a lot. If you add the fact that you don’t actually drink, that makes it all even worse.
«What about Jimin?» he’s out of your bedroom door, you can hear it from how close his voice sounds. Thank god he has a good sense of privacy, cause you’re naked.
«They were together the whole day, tonight is girl’s night» you answer. Jungkook nods, telling himself he’s going to ask him to come over later.
«I’m taking a shower now!» you let him know the conversation is going to end, already walking to your bathroom.
«She said it’s girls’ night, so» Jimin’s munching on a chicken’s wing with so much eagerness it looks like he hasn’t been eating for a week.
Namjoon nods at him, getting a beer from the fridge.
«You’ve been together the whole day, though»
«I know» he answers, «what can I do if I want to spend every second with her?»
«I feel like I’m gonna throw up» Yoongi murmurs from beside him, giving him the most disgusted glance ever. Jungkook laughs.
«What have you all been up to lately?»
Hoseok sits on the carpet, ready to start eating as he waits for the group’s answer.
Jin shrugs.
«Just work. The restaurant is always full, I think I might die from overworking»
«Listen to him bragging» Taehyung pats his hyung’s shoulder.
«I’m not! It’s going well, but it’s fucking tiring! Last night I came home to Hana and… nnghh, why am I so dumb?» he closes his eyes, breathing through his teeth.
«What happened?» Jungkook asks.
«She’d kill me if she knew I told you this,» he gulps a big sip of beer down «you have to promise me it won’t slip out of your dead-ass mouths»
«When did we ever say-»
«That time?» Yoongi’s question gets cut off, Jin’s eyes big as they remind him of what happened last time.
«It wasn’t me! It was Tae!»
«Yah, I didn’t do it on purpose» he fights, holding back a laughter.
«Alright, stop. Just don’t make it happen again» Seokjin gives him a fiery glance.
«She was like, really in the mood and… I told her I would take a shower and then go to bed with her but my muscles were so sore I decided to run a bath. I felt asleep. She waited up for me for a whole hour,» he takes a bite from the chicken «she was… god, what did I do? I was so tired I didn’t do it on purpose but she felt rejected or humiliated I guess… I’m such a-»
«Hyung, you were just tired» Jungkook stops his rant. Namjoon nods.
«You should talk to her»
«I didn’t get the chance, she left earlier this morning and didn’t answer my texts all day» he answers, eyes gloomy as he pours himself another glass of beer.
«Wait for her up, she’ll come back after they are done with the club» Yoongi proposes. Jin nods.
«What about you?» he asks.
«I’m good» he smiles. A little too much, actually. It’s too bright, too much.
«You’re good?» Hoseok smiles at him, already knowing that there’s something else. There has to be, with him smiling like that.
«Really good» he echoes.
At this point, Jin hits his shoulder.
«Yah, give us the good stuff!»
The music in the background fills the air as Yoongi ponders on how to explain what’s happening in his life at the moment, a big smile taking over his features.
«I’m…» he smiles again «I’m going to be a dad»
«What?!» it’s a scream that comes out loud, the same word coming from every single person present. The man nods, eyes teary. It makes Jungkook’s heart squeeze, to see his hyung so happy. The room is filled with happiness, as they all proceed to ask questions, hugs and congratulations getting shared. After all, he and Hyunjoo have been trying for the last year. The night is filled just like that, with jokes and laughs until Jin and Jimin decide that it’s time to go back home to wait for their girlfriends, the others deciding to stay until you will be back to say hello and goodbye to Jungkook.
It’s when the bell rings that they know that something is definitely weird. The knock on the door too sounds eager for you, and when Jungkook gets up to open it what they hear right after makes their eyes shoot right open.
«Fuck, are you drunk? Who took you home? Why did you drink?»
«Leave me alone» you stutter as you try to walk inside, Jungkook’s arm getting to your waist. You can’t even stand, how much did you drink?
«Who took you home?» to say he sounds worried sick is an understatement.
«Some guy with a really pretty dick» you laugh. Taehyung gets up, everyone following after him. They never saw you drunk, simply because you just don’t drink. You don’t like the taste of alcohol, can’t even gulp down a sip of beer properly without having to go brush your teeth, apart from the fact that you can’t hold it. Half of a glass is enough to make you the drunkest version of yourself; apparently now it’s not like that anymore.
«What?» the shock from seeing you like this makes Jungkook hold his words back, first he needs to make you sit somewhere.
«Grab a wet towel, or just… water, give me water!» he orders around. Someone gives him just what he asked for, and he doesnt even spend time in thanking them as he wipes the makeup off from your face.
«Water» Yoongi gives him a glass.
«Why- you’re here! Hello!» you wave to your friends, Taehyung smiling at you.
«My bestest friend! Tae, I missed you» you whine, grabby hands reach for his wrist, making him sit next to you.
«Yah! I’m your bestest friend!» Jungkook shakes his head.
«I missed you too» Taehyung scoffs, your head falling on his shoulder. Jungkook hisses, it’s harder to get your makeup off when half of your face is squashed like this.
«Why did you drink so much?» Taehyung tries.
«I was… feeling left out? I can’t remeber well» you murmur, chuckles coming out as you decide it’s time to mess with Jungkook. Every time he tries to wipe a part of your face, you just turn in the opposite direction.
«Will you stay still?» he shakes his head, annoyed.
«You’re a pain in the ass, Jungkook. I hate you»
«I think it’s better if you go home, she needs a shower» Jungkook turns to face Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok. They look pretty shocked, but worry is weighting down on them more.
«Are you sure? We can help you?» Hoseok tries, but he shakes his head again.
«It’s fine, I got this»
«Don’t go! Why are you kicking them out! So annoying» you fight, holding Taehyung’s arm tighter.
«I’m not kicking them out, but you need to shower and get changed and they- just…» he turns again «Don’t worry, just go home and rest. I got this» he repeats.
It’s 5.43 am. And it’s so frustrating that you’re laying by his side, sleeping, while his eyes are wide open.
You might not feel good, so it’s better anyway, he tells himself.
Jungkook is annoyed. A lot, actually. Why, he doesn’t get it. Your words echo in his mind, making him bite on the inside of his cheek when he should be resting.
Did you sleep with someone? It very much sounded like it. A really pretty dick? He scoffs. The adjective sounds almost out of place, still he feels his insides burning even hotter. He wants to ask you right now, but you’re sleeping. Again, he should be too, actually.
He decides it’s better if he sleeps on the sofa, you’re asleep anyway, so you won’t make a fuss about it. He lifts the covers, gently and slowly, then sits on the bed, a leg already out and his foot laying on the ground. The cold makes him wince.
«Don’t go» you hold his wrist, digits caressing his skin.
«Stay with me,» you plead «I’m not feeling good»
His defences fall down instantly. It’s hard not to succumb when you’re murmuring against him. He does it without you having to ask twice, his foot back under the warm covers.
«Hold me?» you ask. It’s low, sweet and sleepy, and he guesses you’re still drunk but he doesn’t care. His arms wrap around you and hold you close, your head lays on his chest as you would do after having sex. Jungkook holds his breath and swears to himself, he needs to slow down his heartbeat because it seems like his heart is going to combust.
«I don’t hate you,» your voice is faint
«I’m sorry I told you I hate you, Kookie»
«It’s okay» he caresses your hair, trying to make you relax.
«Just get some sleep» he can’t hold himself back, not when you’re laying in his arms so defenceless and looking so frail and delicate. His lips land on your forehead, soft and gentle, incredibly caring. You don’t say anything though, you’re already asleep.
«Alright, what is it?» Taehyung snaps at him, eyes fixed on the maknae. Jin nods, eyebrows high.
«Nothing» Jungkook shrugs, going back to stare at the screen. The movie isn’t playing, stopped by Taehyung.
«It doesn’t seem like nothing» he answers back.
Yoongi taps Jungkook’s shoulder.
«Tell it to Yoongi hyung?» he smiles.
Jungkook scoffs. It’s something he used to tell him when he was younger, it would reassure him to know that there was someone older than him to relay on and to count on. Now, though, Yoongi can’t do anything about it.
«I’m your hyung too» Taehyung pats his other shoulder.
«Me too» Jimin adds.
«We’re all older, we got it» Namjoon looks at the two who are smiling wide at Jungkook.
«Talk to us? We could help» he prompts.
«I just… I don’t know» he doesn’t know where to start from. He doesn’t even know why he’s feeling so bothered about it, it shouldn’t be such a big deal.
«I don’t know… why?»
«What? We can’t understand like this» the confusion is clear on Hoseok’s features.
Jungkook sighs, deep and shaky, head falling on the cushion of the couch.
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» he declares, bringing the back of his hand on his eyes.
«What?» it’s Jimin and Jin, ready to ask why he didn’t tell them. Yoongi glares at them in a second, shutting them up before they even have the chance to start.
«And?» he coos.
«And- she… slept with someone else» he adds. It’s blurry, and the situation is not clear, but just seeing Jungkook like this makes all of them on the edge.
«Are you in a relationship? Or you just-»
«We’re not» he answers Namjoon.
«We’re not, but…» he doesn’t finish.
He can’t believe himself. What the hell is this about? It’s not like you agreed on being exclusive, you didn’t even talk too much about what happened, it just happened, three fucking times. And god, how fucking good it was. The best sex he’s ever had. Fuck, he didn’t even think about someone else after sleeping with you.
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest of choices since he’s been fighting against his feelings for six years, but until now they were pretty good. He dated, you dated, he kept them at bay and they didn’t get in the way.
«You wish you were» Yoongi finishes his sentence.
Silence fills the air. Jungkook feels like he’s going to throw up. You wish you were, it’s the only thing playing in his head. He wishes you were. That’s the point, that’s the fucking point. He wishes you’d see in him what he’s been seeing in you for all these years, he wishes you’d crave his touch just like he craves yours, in the same way. He wishes you could share more than just a home and bills, friendship and bags of popcorns. He wishes for more, and fuck, he’s been so fucking stupid all along to think that a little taste couldn’t do too bad, to think that he could have at least that much.
«Have you talked to her?» Jin tries. Jungkook shakes his head, the back of his hand still pressed against his eyes.
«Why don’t you try?»
«Why would I? We’re friends»
«Fuckbuddies?» Jimin asks «How can you be-» Taehyung slaps him on the neck. A faint moan coming out of his friend’s lips.
«Shut up»
«No, friends. We’re friends» he slightly raises his voice on the last word, to make it clear.
Yoongi’s eyes narrow.
«You mean you… you’ve been sleeping together but you’re friends?»
«Isn’t it clear?» Jin looks at him like Yoongi has two heads, eyes trying to suggest something that no one gets. His head moves as to beckon him to something that’s right in front of him, Yoongi’s expression still clueless. Then, he gets it.
«Y/n! Is it Y/n? What the hell Jungkook!» he breaks out. Everyone’s eyes shot right open, Jungkook’s hand falling on his lap as he realises that there’s no way back.
«When? Why?»
«It just… happened» he sighs, eyes closing again.
«When?» Taehyung can’t believe what he’s hearing.
«Four months ago,» he murmurs «the first time»
«How many times? Oh, my god» Jin wants to know everything, every little detail. Not sexually, it would be awkward since you’re his friend, but every thing he can, he has to know.
«Three»
«Three?» He repeats.
«Three times,» Jungkook says again «I don’t know what to-»
«Is it because of the guy with the pretty dick?» Yoongi asks. Jungkook tilts his head, glaring at his hyung.
«Okay, it is»
«Talk to her» Hoseok prompts but he only gets a big, steady shake of the maknae’s head.
«She was drunk. Do you know what you’re doing? Like, have you talked about it at least? Are you exclusive with each other?»
«We didn’t, and I guess we’re not» Jungkook answers Jin, not really in the mood for all of his questions.
«Jungkook, you have to-»
His phone rings, cutting Hoseok off. Your name comes up on the screen, everyone’s eyes and ears ready to steal information, Jungkook’s thumb stopping before hitting the green icon. He takes a deep breath, then answers.
«What-»
«Jungkook, please help me»
Something inside him snaps, worry filling every part of his being. Your voice is shaky, fragile. It sounds like you’re crying.
«What, what happened? Where are you?»
«At home,» you whimper «I’m in the tub. I slipped and, I can’t move. It hurts»
«Fuck, wait I’ll be there in five minutes. Stay on the phone, don’t move. Please, don’t move, okay?» he’s already on the way to the door of Taehyung’s house, their eyes fixed on him in worry. He waves goodbye before closing the door, mouthing “emergency” at their inspecting eyes.
«Fuck, are you okay?»
To say he’s worried sick is an understatement. His eyes travel to every part of your body to make sure that you’re not hurt, until they reach your arms covering your chest.
«Don’t look! Give me the bathrobe» you want to cry, you feel so embarrassed that you actually could.
«Yes!» he passes it to you quickly, helping you as best as he can with his face turned to the side. He wants to tell you that it doesn’t matter if he sees you like this cause it already happened but he guesses you might feel embarrassed or just not at ease, so he shuts up and does what he has to.
«It’s fine, I…» your voice trembles. You hold his wrist on the side of the tub, fingers cold and wet.
«It’s fine, it’s alright. Ssshh, don’t cry» he kneels down, his arms wrapping around you and leading your head to his chest.
«I’m not crying» you whisper, gulping down.
«You’re about to,» he caresses your hair «I’m here. I got you» he feels his throat tightening. He was so fucking worried he run two red lights while coming home, all the ones he met.
«I always got you» he coos.
For some reason, his words make you shake in his hold, a faint whimper coming out as you let the tears fall. The embarrassment and the stress about the situation, the pain of your ankle and his presence seem to mix together to combine into a perfect crying solution.
«You won’t tease me about this, right?» you mumble, voice muffled. Jungkook’s heart feels slightly reassured at your words, a weak smile gracing his lips.
«I won’t, baby. I promise» he whispers.
Your faint sobs fill the air, and he feels like his poor heart will break only by listening. His fingertips dig into your bathrobe so much it’s like you feel them on your skin, his other hand caresses your hair, his breath shaky.
He waits for your weeps to summer down and stays like this a little longer, his presence reassuring and his touch relaxing you.
«Let’s get you out of here, okay?» he asks. You nod. He’s gentle when he parts his arms from around you, gentle when he tells you to relax, gentle when he smiles at you, soothing.
«Where does it hurt?»
«My ankle» you let him know. His eyes travel down, hands getting wet in the water as he lightly feels both of them.
«There» you hold back your breath, the pain makes you grimace.
«Okay, just… can you get up? Just lean on me and don’t put weight on your right leg. Lean on me» he instructs. You follow his words and try to get up as best as you can, leaning your weight on him and keeping your ankle up. Jungkook helps you out of the bathtub, his hands coming to your back and the back of your legs to pick you up. He makes sure not to hurt your ankle with any movement, eyes on your face to check in with you without having to ask.
The path to your bedroom is silent, he lays you on your bed and tells you he will change the sheets himself afterwards because of the wet bathrobe.
«I think you need a pillow, you need to keep your ankle up» he works diligently, worry guiding him until he realises you’re set. On the bed, with the pillow underneath your ankle, comfortable, kind of.
«Do you want ice? Wait, I’ll get it with something to drink» he lets you know. He vanishes out of your bedroom and into the kitchen to get a glass of water and the ice, then goes back to the bathroom to get a towel to wrap around it so it isn’t too cold.
When he comes back, he smiles at you.
«You need to drink at least a bit» he hands you the glass. He sits next to you, looks as you gulp down the entire glass with a proud smile, his hand reaching out to take the glass back and put it on your nightstand. You stay with your mouth closed, still too embarrassed to say anything.
He puts the ice on your ankle, careful not to hurt you more than what you’re hurting already. It’s an instinct he doesn’t think of or can fight back, when he strokes your hair tenderly. It makes you gulp, heart swelling in your chest.
«I was so fucking scared» he admits, low and shaky, almost a whisper.
«I’m sorry» you really are. He was enjoying his night with your friends after a hard week of work, and you called him and made him come all the way home, worried and-
«It’s okay, don’t worry» he smiles.
«But we should go to the hospital, your ankle is a bit swollen and-»
«Not now, please» you refuse.
«Y/n, you really should»
«I know,» you nod «just please not now? In a bit»
Jungkook sighs, but he nods. He keeps the ice on your ankle, eyes on your face to check if he’s hurting you in any way to the point you feel your ears burn.
«Come here?» you ask, patting beside you. He raises his eyebrows, looking at your hand on the mattress.
«Please?» you ask sweetly.
«The ice» he says. You shake your head.
«Just for a little, please» you gulp your beating heart down. You want him close, closer and closer. You don’t know why, but you want him so close it’s getting hard to breathe.
Jungkook can’t say no to you, not when you’re in your most fragile state, telling him to lay beside you. He puts the ice on the nightstand, next to the empty glass.
When he lays on his side, his eyes instantly fall on your face, a bit of worry still painting his features.
Your hands move on their own, reaching his and bringing them around you.
The atmosphere is dreamy like, a pinkish feeling invading Jungkook’s chest as he stares at you, his arms squeezing you and your eyes getting lost in his. It’s odd, how you can feel you heart pulsate, the sound echoes in your ears until they become numb. His hold seems to calm your racing mind a bit and you find yourself craving for something you can’t really touch, get a grasp of.
«Jungkook» you call.
«Mmh?»
«I want you»
Jungkook feels like a leaf about to fall. Swept away by the wind, scared to fall but what if the fall is so sweet, so gentle? What if he can’t say no? He wants you just as bad as he wants you to want him. He wants you sweetly, he wants you lovingly. He wants you. Every part, every shiver, every fear and every night. Every fucking night. If he can’t have that, he’ll have to settle for this at least. He can’t say no to your love. And now that he realises, he thinks, this is the last time. The first time loving you and the last.
«Fuck, come» he holds you tighter.
«Come into my arms» as if you weren’t already. He stays like that, seconds passing by and his breath getting rougher, he tries to slow down his heartbeat but it’s to no use, you probably can feel it even through your bathrobe and his clothes. He wonders what are you thinking, if you want him as bad as he wants you at least sexually. It makes him breathless, how much he wishes you were his.
«I need-» he gulps «I need you close»
His body moves on top of yours, his legs in the middle of your thighs, eyes glancing at your ankle to make sure he doesn’t hurt you with his movements. It kills you, how he takes his shirt off and the light of your room kisses every single inch of his abdomen. His beautiful skin, the muscles flexing as he removes the cloth, his brownish nipples hard at the cold hair. You want to lick it, every part of him. You want to touch it, chase every ripple with your fingertips.
«Can I take this off?» he asks.
When you meet his gaze his eyes are made of something you’ve never seen. It’s not want or need, you’ve seen those already the other times you had sex, it’s just something else that you can’t quite grasp; you don’t focus on it too much, nodding your head and reaching you hands for the knot of the bathrobe.
«Wait, let me» his fingers graze yours. You stop your ministrations, watching as he unties the knot, slow. There’s something. There’s definitely something. When he took your clothes off the last time, there was eagerness in his motions. There was need.
He was scared, of course he was. You guess that now he’s just glad you’re okay and trying to not hurt you in any way. You’re glad. Glad that he takes such good care of you, glad to have him as your friend.
«Thank you» you smile. Jungkook feels his heart clench. He wishes your relationship wouldn’t be like this, for you not to thank him with that smile so uninvolved, so clear.
He nods, hands getting by your sides to not put any weight on you.
«Keep your ankle up, please. Don’t wanna hurt you» he says. You nod, again.
His bicep flexes as he puts his weight only on his left arm, his fingers of the other caressing your clavicle. He sees the shivers on your skin as he travels lower, grabbing the edge of the bathrobe to reveal your chest. He wants to squeeze you, squeeze you so tight you don’t have any space left between you, hearts beating against each other.
Your skin glistens, and he can’t hold himself back anymore. He raises on his calves, opens your robe so that every part of you is revealed, takes off his pants and his socks. His cock is hard, so fucking hard he’s afraid he’ll come just by the sight of you, but he wants to hold back. He has to, cause he wants to do this right, in the right way. He wants to love you even if you don’t notice it, at least for once.
«Sit up for me, princess» his tone is like honey, and you do as he says without complaining. The pet name leaves a weird taste in your ears, you’re not used to it.
He helps you out of the bathrobe, finally having you naked on the bed. So pretty, so exposed just for him. Something inside him doesn’t set right, though.
«Hold tight onto me»
You’re in his arms, getting up from the bed and out of your bedroom. You wander what the hell is he doing until you get to his bedroom, confusion invading your features.
«Why?»
He lays you on his bed, getting a pillow again so that you can keep your ankle elevated.
He looks down at you from the end of the bad, cock twitching and eyes fixed into yours. He wonders if it was too much of a bold move, but he guesses you wouldn’t see anything behind it.
«Want you in my bed» he simply answers, transparent and straight to the point, his dark doe eyes drinking yours in.
You just nod a little astonished.
Of all the times you had sex, it was always in your bed. Never in his. Never your perfume stayed on his sheets, never he got to swim in the illusion of having at least a little more to keep to himself, just for him. A part of you to keep, to protect in a world that isn’t yours.
He takes his boxers off, and god you wish he could be faster cause you think your eagerness will make you lose your mind. You want him deep inside you, close as soon as possible.
«Open your legs for me?» he coos. He looks at you from the edge of the bed, still standing. Your eyes travel all the way from his face to his cock, it stands straight up to his belly button, the tip red and angry, veins displayed. If you’re not seeing wrong, there’s a bit of precum leaking out from his tip, but maybe it’s just the light playing with your eyesight.
You do as he says, opening your legs as much as you can for him to see, careful with your ankle. He bites down on his lips, his hand getting to the base of his cock and wrapping around it, just squeezing it.
«I love your pussy» he breathes out. The way he sounds makes you clench around nothing and when you see his hand stroke up and down his needy cock your mouth opens in awe.
«I’m obsessed, want it every day»
You squeeze your thighs together, how can he speak so filthy but sound so angelic?
«That can’t happen» you warn him.
Jungkook nods.
«I know» he answers. It kills him. It fucking kills him, to have a taste and then having to let go of it.
He gets to the bed, kneeling in front of you, his eyes on your face.
«I want you on my tongue»
Your yearning is making you crazy, you’re so wet you’re practically dripping by now.
«Please, Jungkook»
It sounds so good, to hear you say his name like that. In such a filthy way, totally unfiltered.
«Gonna give my baby what she needs»
His hands touch your thighs, he gropes your skin with his digits, so soft it makes him want to fucking lose himself and get lost just in the desire. His sentence makes you wetter, but your heart beats louder for some type of reason.
«Please» you plead again.
«I got you» he reassure you, he lays down on your body, face close to yours. His lips are close, so close you think he’s going to kiss you but he just lays a kiss on the corner of your mouth.
«I always got you» he whispers, his eyes looking into yours. His hand caresses your cheek, something that adds too much to this, to you, to the both of you. It leaves you wordless, shaking.
A second later, he’s back between your legs, his hands grabbing your thighs in the gentlest way he ever did.
«So beautiful» he murmurs to himself as he looks at your pussy juices leaking out. It’s so fucking inviting that he can’t hold back anymore. His mouth lands on your clit, so soft and pillowy, he kisses it. A strangled moan comes out of your mouth, and he lays another, and another. His tongue starts to glide between your lips, up and down he gathers your juices and then sucks onto your clit, your back arching on the bed.
«Oh, fuck» you moan. It makes him eager. Eager for more, eager for you, ciclo by fervent. He wants it all.
He sucks on your clit again, harder and for a time that seems endless, the pleasure that takes over you is tingling and consuming and your mouth opens again in a silent moan. He lets it go with a popping sound, he blows on it, kisses it again, sucks again as his tongue plays with it. Your hands reach his hair, they tug at the strands as you moan out loud. It’s so good, so good you’re not going to last long.
«So good» your hips shoot up, whines come out of your mouth.
He feels drunk, lost in the taste of you.
«Yeah?» he coos. His tongue rubs your clit deliciously, the pattern changing from up and down to side to side and circles, it makes you lose your mind.
«What if I do this? Take all of you in my mouth?»
It’s unreal, how good he can make you feel. He takes you all in his mouth, from your clit to your hole, sucking on every part he manages to get, then sucks on your lips. His hands move on your stomach, eyes on your face as he grabs your breasts in his palms. He squeezes them softly, fingers rubbing your nipples, filthy wet sounds filling the air. It’s embarrassing, the amount of wetness through your folds, how your juices keep leaking out at just a look at him. You don’t think you can hold back. Not when he’s sucking on your clit again, his fingers grazing your nipples as he moans on it in his mouth. He doesn’t think he can get any other pussy, after yours. It’s too good, it’s perfect. Just perfect.
«Gonna- Jungkook» you shiver.
«Tell me, talk to me, baby» he moans on your pussy, his tongue poking at your hole.
«Fuck, I think I’m going to- cum»
His tongue feels so good inside you, your walls tight around it and your juices wetting all of his chin. He wants your wetness everywhere, on his chest, on his thighs, on his fucking bed.
«Please, let me see» he begs.
«Cum for me»
One of his hands come down, his fingers rubbing your clit. You don’t have the time nor the voice to tell him that you’re going to, cause god, it feels so fucking good you don’t even know how to speak anymore. You just see him, his eyes staring at you from between your legs, nose brushing against your folds, his tongue deep inside you. Your legs shake, your breathing is rough.
«Cum for me, angel»
And you do. You cum so fucking hard, you don’t even realise what is happening, how your juices flow out and drip onto his sheets, how Jungkook presses down onto the mattress to get some sort of friction, how he gulps down your juices as if they were the tastiest thing he ever drank.
He kisses your clit, your lips, every part of your pussy he can get a taste of, your inner thighs.
«Fuck, I only want your pussy» he moans, the fingers that left your aching clit now wrapping around his thickness, your juices on his cock make his skin glossy. You’re such in a haze that yes, you nod.
«Fuck, yes» you sigh. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you, he simply can’t. You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you’re so vulnerable and exposed for him that you make him helpless, totally fragile.
«You’re so beautiful, so pretty when you cum» his voice makes you open your eyes, finding him still between your legs.
«Come here» you struggle to let your voice out.
«Want you close»
His heart shakes.
«Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you» he breathes out, laying on top of you. His voice is shaky and you feel his hands travel from your thighs to your stomach, then to your chest. They reach your shoulders, one of them cups your cheek, his eyes study every part of your face. He looks at the flush of your cheeks, how they turned to a reddish tone, your lips swollen from your teeth biting at them, your hair messy all over his pillows. In his bed, his at least for now.
«I want you, only want you» you whine.
«You have me» he wishes you could notice, that you’d realise, look at him and mean your words just how he means them. He just rubs his cock against your folds, though.
«Right here» he moans. Cock rock hard, so fucking ready for you.
«Please» you just keep pleading, you can’t hold back. You don’t even care if you just came and your pussy needs time to recover from the tremendous orgasm you just had, you just want him inside you.
His cockhead brushes against your clit, a strangled moan coming out from both of your throats, your eyes focusing on his just to see that’s they were already there. Jungkook smiles at you so softly as his cockhead finds your hole and pushes in that it feels too much. Too much affection, to much loving. Too lovingly. It makes your insides twist and turn, and you wonder what the fuck is going on, but you don’t have time to voice your feelings cause a second later his cock is deep inside you, filling you up to the brim.
You just shut your mouth, take everything he has to give. You want it all, you don’t care.
«Fucking perfect» he whines. His cock never felt so good, your walls squeeze him perfectly, your pussy so wet he can feel your juices already pour down to his balls.
«Wrap around me,» he moans faintly «please»
Your legs move on their own, the pain of your ankle shooting up to your leg. You grimace, eyes squeezed shut.
«Careful with your leg» the worry makes him still.
«Lay it on the pillow, up» he whispers, his hand reaching your calf to guide it back down.
«Like this» he kisses your temple. You sigh when you feel the softness of the pillow and your weight supported, the pain untying a bit.
«Does it hurt?» his words soothe you and you open your eyes to look at his face. You shake your head.
«It was just for the movement. It’s going away now» you answer. Jungkook nods, his fingers brush away a little strand of hair that’s keeping your beautiful face away from him.
«Like this it’s good, is it okay for you?» he asks. His hand holds your hip, your leg wrapped around him, the other on the cushion and Jungkook’s cock buried deep inside you still. You can feel it throb even when it’s still, you wonder how is it possible that he’s holding himself back so much.
«It’s perfect» you whisper. His eyes, smile first, as they always do. His smile comes right after, and you don’t know if it’s the atmosphere or your vulnerability for everything that happened but it makes your heart swell. You want him around you, you want him everywhere, all over you, inside of you.
He looks down at you, moves his pelvis back and then forward again, you wrap your leg tighter around his waist. Your arms come around him, his passes under your back as the other stays on your hip, his cock rutting inside you makes you whimper. He kisses your neck, sucks on your skin, moans in your ears.
«Love it so much,» he shivers, eyes closing from the pleasure «getting to have you like this»
«Feels so good, Kook» you whine.
Jungkook fucks into you slow, but his motions are firm and he knows exactly where your buttons are. Apparently, it didn’t take much for him to learn, it seems like he knew them all along, from the first time.
«Yeah?» he coos, his digits dig into your skin.
«Yes» you moan out loud, only guiding him closer. His cock is perfect. You love it, could never imagine a better dick.
«Tell me, baby. Wanna hear you» he doesn’t stop, only squeezes you tighter. Your breasts against his hard chest, your nipples brushing against his skin, every curve of your body against his.
«Your cock is so perfect» you tell him. He wants to look down to where he’s inside of you but doesn’t want to miss a single thing, not even a crumb of the pleasure taking up your features.
«I love it so much, the best cock ever» your voice is muffled and your fist comes out from behind his neck to press against your lips as you speak.
«Please don’t» he whines, looking down at you.
«Wanna hear you, don’t hold back»
Your fist goes away. Your fingers dig into his skin again, surrendering to his request and letting your voice come out free.
Jungkook makes love to you. It’s so sweet and so slow but so good that you’re lost. Lost in him, lost in the feeling and the pleasure.
«Keep your leg up» he instructs, letting your hip out of his grasp. He kisses your nose, his hand travels between your legs, his middle finger on your clit.
«Oh, Jungkook, fuck» you wail, the pleasure adding up. He moves his finger in circles, up and down, from side to side, just like he did with his tongue before. It makes him jerk inside you, throb with every thrust, bite down on his lips as he looks at your face and feel your walls clench around him. Your mouth opens, eyes looking at him through your lashes, pillowy lips ready to be kissed.
«I want to make you feel so good,» he groans, «want you to think about this when you’re alone» he moans.
«I want you to give it to me, all to me. Mine» he whispers onto your lips, breath hot on your face.
«All mine»
«Fuck, yes»
Your walls are so tight, pulsating so hard.
His finger keeps rubbing your clit, he moans when he brings it a bit lower, feeling his cock pounding inside your pussy, your pussylips spread around him, your wetness gathering at the base of his cock. His balls slap on your ass, the sounds filthy and wet, so incredibly wet.
«I’m going to- yes, feels so good» you breathe hard, his finger back on your clit rubbing faster. Your legs shake and you feel his cock dripping precum in your cunt, all of his length pulsating.
«I want you to look at me when you cum,» he pleads, tone shaky «please look at me» he whines. If you weren’t on the edge already, you think you would probably be just by the way he sounds. He’s so sexy you think you won’t ever be able to get over this. You’re going to think about this for sure, hell if you’re going to.
«Kook, I- I…»
«Ssh, let go. Just let go and look at me» he coos sweetly. He’s holding back, he’s trying so fucking much to hold back that his cock is over sensitive and he doesn’t think he will last much longer. Your walls squeeze him perfectly, so fucking soft and warm around him, so wet, so beautiful.
«Give it to me, love» he doesn’t notice, not until he says it. It just slips out, naturally. You don’t say anything, head burying deeper in his pillow and your walls tightening around him.
You come all over his cock. Your juices make it harder for him to control his pace as you contract sp tightly all over him, his cock still moving inside of you, your arms wrapped around him. You’re trembling but you still find the strength to cup his cheeks, eyes looking at him for all the time just like he asked you to. You watch him as he moans, fucking into you with the same pace, his cock so hard. One of your hands travel down, between your bodies and down to his cock, his tight balls in your hand. You cup them, massage them a little. Jungkook’s features grimace, a loud whiny moan filling the air as your fingers on his cheek caress his skin.
«So beautiful. Cum for me, please» you plead. His heart beats so loud it’s going to explode, and a second later he’s shooting his cum right deep inside of you, hot, thick and long spurts of cum filling you up to the brim. His lips touch yours, as he keeps cuming. They brush against each other and a second later he’s succumbing to them, moaning into your mouth as his hips fuck his cum into your pussy, your leg still keeping him close and you fingers on his cheek.
The kiss is slow and not really controlled, his tongue touches yours and brushes it, your lips eager for each other but moving slowly. It kills him, the way you wrap your arm around him to bring him closer as if he wasn’t all shattered into pieces already.
You kiss for long, he still fucks himself into you slowly even after coming down from his high, your body still tight to him. When you part, you feel your chest on fire. His eyes look glossy, his lips red and wet, his baby hair sticking to his forehead. His movements stop, the last trace of a kiss on your clavicle right where it all started, and then he comes out of you. He lays beside you, eyes staring at your face. Silence fills the air, your breaths the only thing audible.
«Kook» you call.
«Yes?» he hums.
«I need another shower» you laugh.
The atmosphere is odd. It’s thick. You want to go out of your bedroom and ask him what is going on exactly but for some type of reason, you’re holding back. There’s just something in the air.
Last week has been weird.
You would come home when Jungkook was already there to find the dinner on the table, covered with a plate so it wouldn’t get cold, some days with a post it.
I already ate, I’m going to bed, I’m a little tired.
I’m going out, but I cooked you dinner. Rest well.
Work was hard today, I’m going to sleep.
Since the two years you’ve been living together, you’ve always made sure that the one coming home later had something to eat, without having to cook when you’re both too tired. You do it for him too, when he comes home late. That’s what you did on Thursday and Friday, but when he came home you weren’t expecting him to literally eat and go to bed after putting his dish in the sink.
The dinner was odd too, he made small talk, but there was something that didn’t feel right, as if it was a bit awkward. When you both stayed home on the weekend your friends filled the place on Saturday, and on Sunday, he just spent the day in his bedroom beside coming out to make lunch and dinner together.
You knocked on his door once or twice, asked him if he wanted to watch a movie or just chill together, but he said he was tired.
Something is off. Maybe he’s really tired, at dinner today he mentioned that work has been hard lately.
You start to wonder if you should be worried. If Jungkook is stressed and needs someone to talk too, if you’re being just a shitty friend and shouldn’t give him all this space, if you should grab him by the shoulders and tell him to talk to you about what is going on. He doesn’t seem to have closed up with your friends though, on five days he spent three evenings at their place this week. Maybe it’s just you seeing things.
You should talk to him, cause you’re worried, and you miss him. You miss your friend.
«Jimin’s on his way too» Eunji announces, grabbing a pile of glasses. She places one for each of you on the table, then takes a look around.
«I think everything’s set?»
You nod, Hana and Jin appearing by your side with the side dishes.
«Let’s put them on the table» Jin grabs six of them all together.
«Yah, don’t order us around. This is my house, not your restaurant» Yoongi slaps his hyung on the ass, his friend glaring at him. Hyunjoo shakes his head at the scene in front of her, her belly has just started to grow, three months into pregnancy. She looks so beautiful and happy that your heart throbs in happiness.
«Where are Namjoon and Jungkook?» she asks.
«Namjoon will be here in ten» Hoseok answers.
«I’ll call Jungkook» you announce.
You’re about to go to get your purse, but the door rings, so you wander towards it. Jungkook stands behind it, soft hair reaching almost his shoulders, his bangs framing his pretty face. His eyes stare directly into yours, eyebrows cocked.
«Oh, you’re here?» he asks, as if he wasn’t expecting it. He stays still on the doorway, hands by his sides.
«Yes?» you smile as best as you can, not really knowing what to do.
«Everyone is here» you remind him. Jungkook nods eagerly.
«I know» he nods again. You move to the side to let him in.
«I was about to call you» you say. He takes his coat off, hanging it with the others.
«I was stuck in traffic,» he shrugs «I thought it was the same for you, since you worked late too today»
«Oh, no. I left earlier» he nods. And then, it’s silent again. You just stare at each other.
He doesn’t know. How to do this properly, how to go back to who he was, the friend you had before he realised it was too much to hold back. Every time he looks at you, it’s too much. He feels like you’re taking all the oxygen, leaving him with the smallest amount and not able to breathe properly. He tried. He really tried. He told himself that yes, it can be fixed. He repeats it to himself everyday, but something just makes him stop. He’s too… he guesses he just needs space. To get over you, to learn how to look at you differently, just like before he knew, when he was younger. Maybe he won’t ever be able to go back at that point, but at least to when it was bearable to look at you from afar and just have a small part of you?
«Jungkookah!» Teahyung yells from the kitchen. Yoongi peeks out from the living room, he smiles brightly at his youngest friend, his arm wrapping around his shoulders.
«Leave him alone, he just got here» he yells back at Taehyung. In a bunch of minutes, everyone is gathered in the living room, sitting on the carpet and ready to have dinner. It’s been a while since you all gathered to have dinner together, and the atmosphere is light. Everyone is laughing at something, new jokes being made and happiness shared. It makes you appreciate what you have, how every single person in this room means something to you, something beautiful. You’re lucky, very so.
But as you go on, you can’t help but go back to your old habits. Searching for Jungkook’s smile in the midst of the laughters, look for his eyes when you start to talk about something that happened to you during the day. You find him nodding at someone, eyes going back to his dish when you speak. And you can’t help but feel in the wrong. He’s mad at you, maybe you did something to make him upset, something that apparently is very much important to him. This has to be the reason why.
You realise how much you value him. His thoughts, his words, the way he makes you feel like there’s someone you can lean on, someone who’s got you. You realise how easy it is to enjoy his company, to feel happy thanks to him, to feel loved. And how cold it is without him, lost.
You’ve always been inseparable, since you were sixteen and he was nineteen. Your pieces fixed together so perfectly that you didn’t have to worry about fighting with each other, cause you both knew that nothing was going to change between you. You went through so many things together that you can’t even remember all of them clearly now. He’s your safe place. And even though you know that this is perfectly fixable and actually nothing too dramatic, you just feel lost without his complicity.
«Y/n?» Hyunjoo shakes his hand in front of your face, her striking smile brings you out of your thoughts. You nod.
«Oh, yes I’m listening»
«You don’t know what you’re doing» Namjoon’s hand falls on Jungkook’s thigh, lightly slapping it. He shrinks on his side of the sofa, eyes shutting down.
«I know» he whines.
«That’s at least something» the hyung scoffs.
«Did you talk?»
«No» he lets out. If it wasn’t already clear enough, Jungkook is in very much need of advices.
«We just…»
«What?»
«We don’t speak-» he stops to gulp «like we used to»
Namjoon can’t believe what he’s hearing.
«What? Why?»
«Cause we simply don’t, it’s complicated»
«It really isn’t» he fights back, slapping his hand on his thigh for a second time.
«Why?»
Jungkook sighs.
«I just… I think I need time to- get over her or whatever this is, I-»
«You have to talk to her, Jungkook,» he shakes his head, unbelievable «if you don’t, she’ll think there’s something wrong. You have to be clear and-»
«I can’t» he bites down on his lips, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hands. Sleep is getting to him and the fact that tonight he didn’t sleep well makes it even worse.
«I can’t tell her»
«It’s worse if you don’t! Your friendship is not going to be fixed magically»
«That’s the reason why I need time» he blubbers.
«And the reason why she’s looking so gloomy» Namjoon’s response dejects him even more.
«I know I’m being a dick,» he stares down at his feet in the slippers «but I can’t lose her»
Silence is the answer that accompanies him. The cheers coming from inside the room sound muffled, the light of the moon softly grazing his skin. Just the thought of you not by his side sends a shiver of fear through his spine. He doesn’t want to get to know what it is like to be without you, he can’t.
«Don’t you think that maybe a part of her… at least a small one-»
«No,» his voice is faint «not a small one, not even a bit»
It stings. So fucking much, it burns.
Namjoon sees it clearly, the pain written all over his features. To be truthful, he’s always noticed it, even when Jungkook didn’t know. He saw the way he looked at you, his smile when someone mentioned you, the way he would talk about you or what happened to you the day before, the way you made him laugh while doing the dishes, how he was ready to put you first, even before him. It actually makes it hard for him to understand, how it took all this time for Jungkook to realise.
«Even when you were- like intimate?»
Jungkook’s eyes shoot right to his hyung’s face. He always tries not to think about that, for as much as he can. Even though, some nights your hands on his skin haunt him, your moans in his ears, your taste on his lips.
«I don’t think so»
«Did you kiss? Like, or I don’t know, was like- two friends having sex or- what was it like?»
Jungkook wishes he didn’t ask. Cause bringing the thought of you looking so vulnerable and ready for him in his arms sends back feelings he tried so hard to hold back in the last two weeks.
«It was…» he takes a deep breath, letting the air out from his mouth.
«Consuming» his breath gets stuck in his throat.
«We were just…» he shakes his head «it wouldn’t be the same for her. I loved it in a different way»
«Maybe,» Namjoon pats his shoulder gently «but how was she? Like, was she like the
Y/n you always hang out with? Like- you know, how awkward it can be when two friends fuck, come on» he chuckles lightly, not really wanting to be explicit about the two of his best friends.
«She was sweet. Like, so sweet. The last time, she…» he closes his eyes, munching on his lips. The scene playing in his mind leaves him in agony, it’s pure torture to remember you in such a crude state, all for him.
«She was in pain. When she called and we were at Taehyung’s place-»
«That night?» Namjoon’s eyes shoot wide open, mouth hanging as the youngest nods.
«She was in pain, she hurt her ankle. But the way she looked at me, kept me close… the way she opened up to me just- it kills me to remember her in that way» he sniffs. His eyes are glossy. He wishes there would be a better way, an answer written somewhere, a safe recipe to follow.
His friend understands that he can’t ask more. Jungkook is in pain. And he wishes he could do something about it, even though he knows he can’t. So he just hugs him, his hand patting the youngest head to comfort him at least a bit.
«Jungkook!» you yell from your living room. You’re tired. It’s becoming too much, and you need to talk, right now.
You don’t hear any answer, so you stride to his room. The knock on his door makes him grimace, eyes staring directly at it.
«Come out,» you stare at the white wood, arms crossed in front of you «please» you add, voice softening.
He lets go of his clothes, laying the folded pieces on the bed more carefully than the others.
«I cooked you dinner, I left a post it» the door opens, revealing him in all his height, hair still a bit wet from the shower. The black hoodie he’s wearing makes him look smaller and it involuntarily warms your heart a bit.
«You said you were going to sleep» you murmur.
«I am» he says.
«You’re not,» you shake your head «you’re mad at me. Did I do something wrong? Please, just tell me, it’s killing me»
Jungkook stares at you blankly. His eyes scan your features for what seems to be an hour. He shakes his head slowly, guilt takes over him, the displeasure clear on his face. He softens, a step towards you and all of his defences fall down.
«I’m not mad at you» he’s sweet, voice covered in honey.
«You aren’t?» your arms fall at your sides.
«You’re mad. There’s something off, you’ve been ignoring me for the last two weeks»
«I-» he cuts himself off, closes his eyes for a second.
«I wasn’t… I…»
«Please, just talk to me» you plead. You can’t stand this atmosphere, not with him.
Jungkook shakes his head, his arms wrap around you in a tight embrace, it’s all he can do.
«I’m sorry. It’s just that work has been rough and I’m all over the place, just- I’m sorry»
The knot in his throat is getting thicker, but he can’t say more. He knows he’s been a dick, a total idiot.
«You say that but I…» you shake your head on his shoulder, your arms move around him and you feel him sniff.
«I promise there’s nothing wrong» he whispers, he moves his hand up and down on your back to soothe you, the other keeps you close.
«I’m sorry»
«Talk to me»
His hair tickle your skin, the itch makes you rub your face on his shoulder to tone it down and his hand fists the cloth of your shirt.
«If you feel like you need to vent or just… anything» your back shakes, and he knows you’re about to cry. Tears don’t fall though, you try as best as you can to not make your sensibility take over you even though your eyes are burning.
«Ssh, don’t cry, please» he sounds pleading, voice faint and shaky. It’s killing him for real, to not open up to the person he loves the most, you’re his best friend, his person. And he just wishes so much his feelings never showed up, that he didn’t look at you so differently from the way you look at him.
«I will. I will, I promise» he blows.
The atmosphere in your house feels light. It’s back to normal, with Jungkook walking around the place on a Thursday night, his voice echos in the kitchen as he wipes the floor, one of the songs he’s been listening to lately getting sung over and over again.
«Jungkook, you need to see this» you call from the sofa. His eyes travel to where you are, the light of the kitchen shines stars in his irises and the beanie he’s wearing makes him look so cute. He leaves the broom carefully balanced on the side of the counter, his feet tiptoeing towards your spot. He squats down, eyes squinting at your phone.
«Woah!» his excitement makes you giggle as his hands zooms in the picture.
«It’s our niece? I need to call Yoongi hyung! Did he send it to you?»
You nod, a big smile on your face.
«Wait, how do you know it’s a girl?»
Jungkook shakes his head.
«I can feel it» he beams.
«Where is my phone?»
«I think you left it on the sink» you answer. He nods eagerly, getting back up. The way he hops all the way to the sink makes your turn and laugh, he’s so dorky you want to slap his cute little ass.
«Fuck, I stepped on the dirt!» he whines, stopping right away. You laugh even harder, hands grabbing your stomach as he huffs and gets his phone. He comes back to the couch, falling on it with a thud and raising his feet on his knee.
«Don’t do it here!» you scold, still laughing. He simply giggles, wagging his toes at you.
«Clean it for me?» he laughs. You want to puke.
«Ew! What’s wrong with you?» he laughs so hard you start laughing again too, looking at him as he just simply wipes it on the carpet. You roll your eyes, pinning a mental note to vacuum it later.
«Aigoo, I never walk without slippers and now this happens» he complains, shaking his head.
He quickly finds his hyung’s contact and puts the call on speaker.
«Jungkookah» Yoongi’s voice fills the room, the younger smiles brightly at the screen.
«My hyung is going to be a dad! Yah! Bring us out for dinner» you slap his thigh, glaring at him. Yoongi laughs, totally expecting his request.
«I will. You saw the ultrasound?»
«Of course I did,» he nods «I feel like it will be a girl. Am I right?»
«We don’t know yet. It’s too soon, but I don’t think so. Hyunjoo says it’s a boy»
«Really?» he narrows his eyes.
«How was it?» you ask, the excitement is uncontainable. You’re so happy for your friends, can’t wait to meet the little one.
«I cried,» he laughs, «I thought I would hold it in but I cried. Fuck, I’m so happy Y/n»
«I know,» you chuckle «how are the cravings?»
«Ugh, getting worse» he whines.
«I came home and she was eating pickled cucumbers,» he moans out of disgust «made me go back to the supermarket cause she needed mustard. Couldn’t she just send me a text before» he shakes his head even though you can’t see him.
Jungkook chuckles, his body getting limp on the cushions.
«That’s what you get for making me clean the ten servings of noodles you spilled the other day»
«Yah! I had to set the table!»
«You were the one who spilled all!» he fights back.
Jungkook is really trying. And it’s going fine, it’s not hard to enjoy his days with you, it is never been. You just have chemistry together, you laugh almost all the time and never find it boring to be together. It’s just.
It’s just the way his eyes linger on your rosy cheeks too much, he has to remind himself to look away, back to the movie playing on your tv. Or last night, when you were dancing to your favourite girl group’s new song, the way your lips curved into a beautiful smile, hair flying in the air and he had to hold back his smile, too big.
If he looks back to all these years, it makes him laugh, how fucking long it took him to realise how much you had of him. You spent entire days together and he would still do the same as he does now, stare at you mindlessly just for the sake of admiring you, then getting back to what was happening around him. It’s always been here, this feeling. It just took him so much to come to surface and even when it did he tried so hard to make it go away, push it down inside him until it became too much too bear and it hit as fucking hard as what you mean to him. All he repeats to himself is that he just has to do what he’s been doing all along, right? He lived with this for years, a day more won’t hurt him.
«What are we doing tomorrow?»
He eats the last bite of pizza, cleaning his hands with the tissue.
«Yoongi’s taking us out for dinner» you answer, getting up to clean around. You grab the boxes and the glasses, the coke under your arm.
«We have to go grocery shopping» he adds. He sees you nod, you put the boxes on the counter and the glasses in the sink, make sure the coke is well closed and then put it in the fridge. It’s almost empty, the redness of the gochuchang box parked on the first shelf stands out too much with nothing beside it.
«Yes» you nod.
«Are we going early? We can have breakfast out»
He gets up from his spot, waddling to you. A big smile is all you need to understand his answer. Breakfasts out are the best.
Breaksfast out means getting up on time. Something you both struggle with, since you spent yesterday night awake until late. Jungkook has the tendency of staying in bed until he’s at least a bit awake, staring blankly at something as he sits up, eyes puffy and hair messy. You just storm out of the bed knowing that if you don’t you’ll fall asleep again in a matter of seconds.
You knock on his door, no answer in sight.
«Jungkook!» you call again. You hear the shuffles of the covers, his cute mumbling words that haven’t been invented yet.
«Get ready, let’s go have breakfast» you say. You hear him moan as he stretches, take it as your chance to go back to your room and shower.
It takes you both twenty minutes to kind of be ready for your day, your eyes both puffy and a bit red. You decide to go to your favorite cafe and when you arrive a wave of excitement washes over you. It’s been so long since you had a nice and relaxed breakfast outside, the feeling of being free the whole day and not having to worry too much. Jungkook watches you smile as you order and play with your phone as you both wait for your food, his pinkish lips curling up into a beam. It feels good to see you like this; relaxed, happy. It reminds him of when you were younger, with less burden on your shoulders.
When you go grocery shopping together it usually ends up with him pushing the cart and you filling it up, he points at a snack from time to time and you end up adding it to the rest. You come home for lunch, watch a movie right after until your eyes start to fall shut, so you decide it’s time to take a nap. Jungkook stays on the couch, wanting to see how it ends. You fall asleep well, sleep for two hours straight until your alarm rings. Silence fills the house when you wake up and you guess your friend is probably napping too, so you tiptoe out of your bedroom to get a snack, until you hear him.
He’s working out judging from his grunts coming from the bedroom in front of you. You’re used to it, Jungkook likes to stay active and just fills his time like this from time to time when he has time.
Just, this time your mind wanders. You hear his sounds, picture him sweaty and with his muscles flexing, his eyes focused and his jaw clenched, his breath rough… until you’re wet, pulsating. You hold your breath, close your eyes. And you go back to your room, shut the door.
Scenes of him eating you out play right in front of your eyes, his moans. You end up on the bed, your trousers off and your panties pushed on the side of your lips. There were times when the thought of him in this way turned you on after you stared fucking but you always pushed them away, telling yourself that it’s not right. Just, this time they hit you harder. It’s been a while since you had sex and the way he sounded just makes you want to open his door and… you shouldn’t do that. Just focus on you, you think.
Your fingers graze your clit, go lower to get your wetness on your fingers then go back to their initial place. You see him between your legs, his fingers inside you and his dark doe eyes staring directly at you. You hear him whisper, telling you how good you take his cock, how your pussy wraps so good around it, how good you make him feel.
The image of his cock fills your mind, leaving you with the need to suck it and hallow your cheeks around it, his grunts filling up your ears, the sweetest sound ever. You feel his fingers, delicate and warm, they touch you and caress you, his kisses on your lips.
You see him on top of you, telling you to be careful with your ankle, eyes worried and arms wrapped around you. You feel loved, for a second. A kind of love that doesn’t belong to a friend. You feel admired, beautiful. The way he looks at you with pure affection makes you hiss, his words in your ear and your bodies tight.
Feels so good, getting to have you like this.
See him pounding into you at the slowest pace, his fingers gracing your clavicle, his hair on your shoulder. The way he checks in with you to make sure that you’re enjoying this as much as him, begging you not hold back your moans.
Gonna give my baby what she needs.
You shiver, legs shaking.
His fingers on your clit, his cock brushing against your walls with each thrust, his whines. The way he called you.
Ssh, let go, his voice faint as the pleasure takes over him, his balls tight, give it to me, love. You cum, silent and incredibly hard your orgasm hits you like a wave during a thunderstorm, impossible to hold back and too good to decline.
You lay on the bed, breath stuttered and eyes shut. Your heart beats too loud.
The first time you had sex it just happened. You don’t know what exactly went through your mind, the reason why you had to start it all; your body moved on its own. Jungkook was tired, arrived late at home and was sleepy. You cooked him dinner, kept him company while he ate even though you had dinner already. You listened to him whine about his day, the tiredness evident in his voice. A few minutes later you were on the way to your bed, already too intertwined with each other and with the new feeling bubbling up between you to stop whatever the hell was happening.
The second time, it was pretty much just the same, you didn’t go to each other with the intent of fucking, but you ended up just like that, with his cock in your mouth and his eyes on your face.
The third time, it was because you ended up talking about what was happening and how you should behave, how you should keep your friendship away from your rendezvous. It stared just like that, but again, you didn’t really behave that much.
And then, the last time.
You never once went to each other with the intention of fucking. You wonder when is it going to happen again, in what way, the reason that could start it all. Would it be so bad if you just grabbed him and started it? Does that make your relationship different ? It would, you guess. But is it any different not looking for it but don’t say no when it happens? You don’t even know why you’re thinking about such questions, when you should be focusing on work. Today was stressful, you had a ten minutes lunch break because you had to go back to the papers on your table. You’re tired and your period is on the way which is probably the main reason why you’ve been feeling horny for the last four days. You should just leave it as it is or take care of it on your own, not really into casual sex with strangers or clubs. You wish you were more like Hana sometimes, enterprising and more likely to be ready to have some fun before she used to date Jin.
Your phone rings, displaying Jungkook’s name.
«Hey» you answer.
«I’m bored» he whines from the other side. You picture him with his head falling back and his eyes shut, pouty lips.
«What should I do?» he stretches the last word out, childish tone.
«Cook me dinner please?» you try.
«Already did,» he huffs «when are you coming home?»
«I have so much work to do, I don’t know»
He whines again, leaned on his stomach his cheek is squashed against the cushion of your couch, arms by his sides and his legs kicking the air.
His voice comes out muffled: «Please, I’m so bored» he complains.
«Jungkook, I’m working» you sigh.
«Can I come?» he stares at the screen pleadingly, his ankles crossing as he flexes his toes. He eagerly takes the phone in his hands, eyes stuck on your name. He had a long day today, and even though he wishes he could go to bed already even though it’s only 8 pm, he’s not feeling sleepy nor tired, quite the opposite actually. Being alone in the living room is boring him too much, and he doesn’t feel like going to to someone else’s place, giving the usual noisy meeting they usually have. He just wants to relax, but not on his own.
«Kook-»
«I’ll let you work, I promise» he begs, «I just want company»
If he could be an emoji, he’d probably be the one with the moist pleading eyes. You know it, the expression he makes when he craves for something, and that’s exactly your weak point.
A deep sigh makes his way out of your mouth, he can hear it from the phone. Silent follows right after.
«Okay, bring me food though please? I’m starving»
«Yes!» he punches the air with a fist.
«I’ll be there in ten, I think. Just text me what you want to eat»
«The dinner you already made?» you ask. Jungkook licks his lips, this time the silence fills his part of the call.
«Okay, then be there in twenty I guess» he huffs.
You shake your head, what a moron.
You realise in this period you’re really all over the place. And you also ponder, how long is it been since you had sex with someone? Not Jungkook, someone else. Jungkook is your friend, you shouldn’t think about him when you’re touching yourself to get some stress out or just when you’re craving for sex. It’s not right, it’s not the place of a friend. It’s making you stressed, to think about sex and link it to his face in your mind. You shouldn’t have done it in the first place, you think. You also thought about telling him that it can’t happen again, but it seems like it’s not going to happen anyway. You’re glad.
So for once, tonight you let Eunji and Hana take you to a club, with just the intention of trying to take your mind off of it. Your methods didn’t work until now, so maybe theirs will. Your friends know you too well though.
«There’s something wrong, I smell your frustration from here» Eunji inhales dramatically, a grimace forms on her face right after.
«Ew, it smells bad. Like onion and soju mixed together» she likes her tongue out disgusted. You laugh, Hana shakes her head.
«That’s the guy behind you» she points at the man dancing his ass out on his own, totally drunk.
«For real though, what’s wrong?»
Both of their eyes linger on you. You sigh.
«Just feeling a bit overwhelmed» you shrug. Your friendship it’s deep, meaningful, full of memories, you know you could tell everything to them and they would understand. You could even tell them about the rendezvous you had with Jungkook, but that would put you and him in a not so comfortable position with your friends, the last thing you want is for them to think that you have sex with each other consistently.
«I’ve been sleeping with someone» you announce. Eunji coughs on her drink, Hana’s eyes shoot right open. They stare at you as if you have two heads, still on the dance floor.
«Oh, come on! It’s not that shocking. I-»
«We need to sit» Hana takes you by the hand, Eunji following right after. The couches are not really big, but you fit into one without any problems. The people are less here, the smell of alcohol and sweat too, thankfully.
Their attention goes back to you; «Is he someone we know?»
«Why would you? No,» you shrug «you don’t know him»
«Is he good?» Eunji sips from her drink. That’s a weird question, not the one you would firstly expect from her.
«What? Why?»
«You seem stressed and you said it yourself that you’re overwhelmed, so it’s either one of the two: he’s so fucking good that you can’t stop thinking about it or he totally sucks» straight to the point. Hana caresses your shoulder, glaring at Eunji for her ways even though you know that deep inside her she wants to laugh.
«No! He’s- I mean, he’s… good. It’s something else that bothers me»
«What?» Hana coos.
«He’s my friend, and it just happened. Different times» you explain.
«So you’re fuck buddies now?» Eunji raises her eyebrows.
«No! It just happened, we don’t do it often. I just… I don’t know how to explain it, it’s not like we see each other in that way. We have a good friendship, like- we value each other. Every time it happened, it’s not like we were expecting it or-»
«That’s worse, I guess» she shakes her head. You’re about to say something, but her words leave you wordless.
«What, why?»
«Listen, I don’t think you can be friend and still sleep with him. If you had sex, that means you’re attracted to each other. Even if it’s not in a romantic way, it just… If it just happened, girl, there was sexual tension between you. I guess» she adds the end just because your expression is giving her shivers. The look on your friends’ faces screams panic.
«It would be better if you had a clear answer on what you are. Like… mmh, you know I’m bad at explaining things!» she whines, «Hana, please help»
Your friend sighs.
«Y/n, is this thing still happening? Like, are you still sleeping together?»
You shrug.
«It’s been a while,» you let out «actually, that’s the problem»
«You want to-»
«No, I don’t» you cut her off.
«I realised that it’s getting too much. Like, I think of him too much in a sexual way it’s making me feel uncomfortable»
«That’s what I meant» Eunji nods.
«I’ve been there. Remember Hyun?» she chuckles.
Of course you remember him. The guy was not really close to her, but it was the start of a friendship still. They used to have sex everywhere, their friendship ended up with them fucking each others brains out, after two months, they couldn’t bare it anymore. The atmosphere was heavy, too much sexual tension without even really having a conversation. The fact that Jimin started to find interest in Eunji made her end it even faster.
«We’re not like that though. We have a good friendship, we trust each other and-»
«And you have sex. Not regularly, it happens without any expectations. So it means that you don’t see each other as fuckbuddies, but there’s sexual tension. That’s the base for a relationship. If you put sex into the mix, you end up with butterflies in your stomach. I’m just saying that if you value him that much you should be careful. Understand what you want» her voice softens at the end, but you’re too upset by her words to notice. Eunji hates to be the one saying this, but she has to try at least. You need to know what you’re doing, set some boundaries wether you decide to do something or the other.
«Y/n, you know that we love you. Eunji’s just trying to-»
«I know» you nod, a knot in your throat.
«I just… I need to go home, need to clear my mind and sleep over it» you sigh, monotone. Your hand grabs the pochette laying by your side, eyes scamming the club that suddenly seems to little. You shouldn’t have slept with him in the first place. You know that you don’t feel feelings towards him, but thinking about him in such ways… it makes you feel guilty, like your friendship could lose its meaning, like it’s stained. Like it could get out of control. It’s too much to think about him when you’re alone deep at night, like the last one, his face invading your mind when your fingers are deep inside you, even though you’re trying not to picture him.
«Now?» Hana asks, the worry in her eyes is clear. A glance towards Eunji and they’re both nodding, communicating with each other without having to speak. They know you too well, they could see the panic in your eyes even with theirs closed.
The way back home it’s short, the music playing in Eunji’s car does nothing to ease your mind even though it’s your favorite girl group, your friends glance at you from time to time from the rear view mirror. When you get off and say goodbye, they wait for you to shut the door behind you to look at each other, eyes wide open and jaw hanging.
«Jungkook» the name is crystal clear, both of them letting it out with a shocked expression.
«It’s fucking Jungkook» Hana nods.
Jungkook didn’t think that coming back home early meant this.
You said you had company, texted him twenty minutes before he got off work, but he wasn’t expecting this kind of company. He was expecting Eunji and Hana, maybe Taehyung or some of your friends, a coworker maybe. Definitely not you getting fucked in your bedroom by someone he can’t identify.
This is torture, it’s all he can think. When he arrived nothing seemed weird or odd, expect for the fact that he found the living room empty. As he started getting closer to his bedroom, he realised. And fuck, the slap he got on his face, the punches that hit him on the stomach and on his chest left him breathless, his injuries in pain and itching, his eyes shutting.
This is torture, it really is.
He moves from the hallway, goes to the bathroom to wash his hands and wet his face with cold water.
He can’t stay here, not in such a moment. Not when he can hear you like this, with someone else. It hurts. Fuck, it fucking hurts, it stings, it tears him wide open all the way from the inside to the last layer of his skin. His eyes burn, lips twitch. And suddenly, he’s sobbing. Sobbing in his bathroom, his reflection pitiful and broken. His breath is rough, cheeks stained from the tears, vision foggy. A whimper comes out of his mouth and he bites on his lower lip, repeating to himself that it’s okay. But it’s really not.
Jungkook’s eyes are swollen, puffy. You think it’s because he’s still half asleep, but when you meet his eyes you’re taken aback. He looks tired, as if he didn’t sleep well, but they’re a bit red. He cried? You didn’t hear him coming in yesterday night, you knew he worked late and left him dinner ready, but when you woke up today his food was just where you left it, the table still set.
«Kook?» you coo from the counter. He hums in return, head hanging low on his shoulders and eyes staring down at his legs, he sits on the couch with the tv playing in front of him.
You turn around, wash your hands quickly and dry them with a paper towel. You tiptoe to the sofa, glance at him from the side. Your senses are tingling, there’s something wrong.
«Kook, look at me?» you ask sweetly. He stays still, fingers fidgeting on his lap. He thought you were still sleeping, his room felt too tight to stay in it any longer. He wishes you had different opinions on open spaces, when you were looking for a house. Maybe you wouldn’t have seen him with a wall dividing the living room from the kitchen, and he would be tiptoeing back to his bed already.
«Please?» you try.
It’s to no use. All you can do is gulp, worried for what’s going on.
«Is something wrong?» you ask.
«Did something happen?»
He doesn’t answer. He knows if he opens his mouth now he will start crying again. Maybe you should just sit beside him and wait for him to open up. You turn around the table, take a sit next to him and pat him on his shoulder.
«Koo» you call again. He doesn’t even look at you. Your hand stays there, trying to give him some comfort but it only makes him want to break in a loud cry.
«Please» you whisper.
Yesterday, he thought about going over to Namjoon’s place or just anyone else’s, but he didn’t want to show how miserable he was. Thankfully, that guy was out ten minutes later. What a fucking joke, if he found just a bit more traffic coming home he wouldn’t be feeling like shit now.
Your hand leaves him, you get up and for a second his lips tremble, his walls falling down as he thinks you’re giving him some space. But then, you kneel down. In front of him, right between his legs with your fucking beautiful eyes staring at him. Your expression changes; the worry gets more urgent, pressing.
«What happened?» you’re breathless. You’ve never seen him like this, it scares the shit out of you and he can see it perfectly. You reach your arms around him, his breath cuts off.
«Don’t» he whines, voice faint, pleading. You don’t understand what is happening, your head is spinning. You put your arms back down.
«Talk to me» you whisper. He has tears in his eyes, his lips are red as if he’s been biting them all night long. He turns to the side, his eyes burn when he stares at the wall without blinking. His lips tremble.
«Koo, please. I’ve got you»
The dim breaks. His chest shakes, expression contorting as the first tears start coming out. He sobs faintly, shakes his head to himself and looks down to the ground. It’s physically painful, to see him hurting this much; you wish you could take it all away from him and make it yours, if only that was possible you’d do it even if it hurt ten times more. It couldn’t hurt more than this, though.
Your hands wrap around him, holding him so tight to you that you feel his sobs vibrate against you.
«I’ve got you» you soothe him, caressing his hair. With your warmth around him and your caresses, everything falls down into pieces. Every part of him breaks harder, the tear gets wider and deeper, your words of reassurance fill the wounds up but don’t sew them, they just make them heavier to the point that they pierce him and make him empty. Your hold suffocates him and your warmth is painful, your caresses bluffer him.
«I- I c- Please I-» he shakes in your hold, not able to speak. Your eyes burn, seeing him like this it’s atrocious.
«Breathe» you beg, holding him tighter.
«Please breathe for me Jungkook, breathe»
He hears how your voice is shaking, sniffles as he tries to breathe properly, sobs bubble up from his chest when he inhales. Your cheek brushes against his neck, you leave a kiss out of comfort and his hands instinctively fist your shirt. He tells himself to slow down, think properly and hold back but with your loving arms around him it’s a nightmare.
«Ssh, it’s okay. I promise» you whisper. Time slows down, you just focus on his breathing. One thing at a time, you tell yourself. You, need to calm him down first, you need to see him breathing properly, at least a bit lucid. Stroking his back up and down you think about what you can do to make him relax. You’ll make him some tea as soon as he’s doing better, it will soothe him at least a little bit.
«I’m here for you»
Jungkook’s breath moderately calms down, his sobs still come from time to time, but you have all the time in the world. You don’t care about how long it’s going to take him to stop crying, you just know that you want to be here, need to. It’s desperate, the need you have to make him feel better, almost consuming.
«I’m- ngh- I’m sorry» he hiccups. He buries is face in the crook of your neck, his cheeks are still wet and his hair tickle you.
«So sorry- I’m really-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» you repeat. You keep stroking his hair, Jungkook seems to quite down the more you do it, his hold gets firmer too as if he’s trying to anchor himself.
«Did something bad happen?» you try.
He moves in your hold, making you squeeze him tighter until you realise that he’s looking for a way out, so you let go. He wishes it was this easy, that his feelings could let him free just as easy. With you between his legs, it gets hard to breathe again. The way your eyes linger on his face, scan every feature and every expression, even the way he bites the inside of his cheek.
«I… I’m sorry» he mumbles low. This time, his eyes look at you. Clear, transparent, vibrant fear lingers in them with so much weight that it takes away your braveness. Jungkook’s eyes stay in yours even while they fill up with tears again, they don’t budge. The knot in his throat gets back, your presence suddenly feels blissful and he wishes he could just linger in this feeling. The feeling of you being close even if it’s only like this, keep being satisfied with only having a part of you.
«It’s- too painful» he breathes.
«What is it?» you look at him from down, with your glassy eyes and he just-
«I- I… I love you» his voice trembles.
Silence fills the room.
His words make a dull sound in your head, your body stiffens, lips ajar. Jungkook is frightened, totally stuck in place. His heart beats so fucking loud that it will explode.
The shock it’s too big and it stops you from letting the three words sink in, all you can do is stare at him blankly as he holds his heart in front of you.
«I’m- I can’t,» he shakes his head «it’s too much. I just… it’s killing me»
«You…» you gulp «you don’t mean it that way, right?» your voice trembles.
«It’s just- we-» you shake your head, take in a deep breath.
«We shouldn’t have- it’s because we had sex. It has to be because of that cause you didn’t-» you stop talking.
Jungkook stays silent, his chest burns, the tears in his eyes get uncontainable, until he breaks again. His shoulders tremble and he sniffs but it’s so silent that it’s even more consuming. He looks at you with such eyes, such vulnerability and fear at the same time, as if he was a stray puppy and you his possible saviour or his next predator. It scares you. And you understand his answer, because you know him, because it can be seen from miles away.
It’s not because you slept together.
«I need-» it’s hard to breathe properly «I need air»
He’s confused, he mistook his emotions, most surely. It has to be that. How can- how can it be not? You’re his friend, his best friend. The one he likes to tease, the one that knows him almost as deep as he knows himself. The person he- this can’t be right. It simply can’t.
You can’t come back home. You really can’t, he needs space to think this through; you need it. You need peace, somewhere to relax, to just don’t think. If you go to Eunji’s place maybe- she will ask. Hana too, and what about Jin and Jimin? Maybe a hotel room is the best choice, in that way you won’t receive questions, no one will get curious.
Thank god you had your phone in your pocket when you went out and weren’t wearing home clothes. You book an hotel room not too far, call a cab since you left your car keys at home.
You can’t face him now.
You walked a lot today, wandered around without a destination and ended up sipping a bottle of strawberry mogu mogu on Han river. Your phone buzzed at lunch time, then again at four pm, another time just fifteen minutes ago, but you didn’t take it out of your pocket. It scares you, because you know that it’s him.
Your hotel room is a beautiful one, has a big double bed with fluffy pillows, big bathtub, snacks in the fridge, a beautiful view on the eighteenth floor. The big buildings and the city lights make you feel small, the look of the man at the reception desk too. He probably doesn’t care about the reason why you’re here instead of sleeping at home, but your mind does. Maybe then, you’re the one who makes yourself feel small. Still, you don’t want to care. You can’t go back home, not now. What would you do? What would you tell him, how would he look at you? You need time.
When you lay on your bed, your phone buzzes again. You breathe in as you open the messages.
From Jungkook🐰 12.37pm
I’m sorry. I cooked you lunch, I left the food in the oven so it will still be warm when you come back. I ate early to give you some space. I’m really sorry
From Jungkook🐰 4.13pm
Where are you? Please be safe. Your car is here, do you want me to come and pick you up? Or I can call a taxi. Just, please be safe
From Jungkook🐰 7.54pm
Y/n, I’m worried. It’s dark outside and I went out to look for you but I just don’t know where you are. I cooked you dinner, so if you come back it will be in the oven too. Just text me so I know that you’re safe at least, please
From Jungkook🐰 8.33pm
I’m really sorry, please come home. I’ll go to Taehyung’s place if you need to be alone. Where are you? It’s dark outside and I’m really worried
Guilt takes over you, makes his way through every single part of your body until there’s not a single piece of your skin that isn’t drenched with it. Your fingers move on the keyboard, eyebrows pinched together.
From Y/n🧸 8.36pm
I’m safe. I booked a hotel room for tonight, so don’t worry. I need a bit of space, so I don’t think I will be back tomorrow.
Jungkook’s fingers never typed an answer so fast.
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
I was so scared that something happened
From Jungkook🐰 8.36pm
Please eat dinner and don’t skip your meals
From Jungkook🐰 8.37pm
I won’t text you if you need space. Just, do you want me to bring you your car keys? You left them here
From Y/n🧸 8.39pm
No, it’s fine.
From Jungkook🐰 8.39pm
Okay
From Jungkook🐰 8.45pm
I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I just need to tell you this: I will always have my arms empty for you, whenever you need a safe space I will be here. As we’ve always done with each other. Please remember this. Sleep well
You wonder how is it possible, to be friends with someone for so long and don’t notice that there’s more. You wonder when it begun, how. Where did the friendship end and the love begin, the boundaries. Which one of his gestures where made out of friendship, which were made out of love. How did he realise. Why you.
For the three days after you left home, all you told yourself was that he was confused, that he mistook his feelings, that it can’t be true. After you spent yesterday night walking in the streets, took another walk on the Han river and even dared to eat dinner on the riverside, a good look at the waters took your mind back to his eyes. To the way he looked at you, his eyes clear, transparent and full of vulnerability and fear when he opened up to you. What if, he’s always been in love with you, it’s always been this way. What if he’s not misinterpreting his feelings, what if he really loves you.
It scared you even more than the day before.
You never saw him that way, your friendship has always been just friendship for you. Until- well, it’s still friendship. Eunji wouldn’t say so, but for you it is. So where does love start for you? With attraction most of all, you guess. With the want and the need to feel someone in more ways, physically, emotionally, sentimentally. With wanting to be whole. Love is… butterflies, feeling loved, giving love, taking care of each other. So where is the boundary? The boundary of friendship.
Because fuck, today you start to wonder, you think that Eunji is right.
What do friends do? Are you not allowed to feel all of that and still call it just friendship? What if, what if you are the one mistaking yourself? What if it’s something else, what if it’s not just friendship anymore. When did it start, when does it end. You’ve always craved this things with Jungkook. Always craved for physical touch, maybe not in a sexual way before, but what if you just didn’t ponder on it too much because you’ve always restrained yourself into thinking that you were just friends. You’ve felt the need to share, to the point that you got a home with him. You’ve always wanted him emotionally, always were ready for him in whatever occasion, always felt close to him. You’ve always felt loved, you’ve always gave love back. You always took care of each other with all yourselves.
Would you do all of that for any of your friends, for Taehyung, or Namjoon maybe?
You’re not too sure. You don’t think so.
Is it the same with them? Of course not. You would do anything for them, but you guess it’s not in the same way, not as deeply.
What about before, even before the first time you had sex. Because maybe, it could be that you’re thinking this just because you slept together? Like, you could be the one mistaking your emotions now.
You still felt this kind of connection before, though. With the Jungkook who was just your best friend. You don’t feel it for Namjoon who’s just your friend. You don’t feel that kind of tight embrace around you when he lingers his eyes on you for too much, his laughter doesn’t make you giggle like Jungkook’s. You don’t feel lost when he’s not talking to you or not meeting your eyes when you look at him. You wouldn’t want to have anything more with him in the first place, cause he’s just Namjoon. And for god’s sake, you wouldn’t have wanted it with Jungkook neither, if you didn’t feel already more. The fact that you were already ready to just welcome him in when the opportunity of being closer knocked on your door, well… that’s the answer. You still remember it, the frustration of seeing him so tired and the need to make him feel better after a shitty day, the need you had to take care of him when you first slept together.
You were never just friends. Maybe in the first place, maybe at the beginning, maybe when you were younger. You just simply got used to him and his presence, never really gave your eyes a chance to see clearly, never really made yourself look at him differently because he was just… your Jungkook.
But, what now? Is he still- Jungkook? Like, your best friend? Now that you realised, now that you understand the reason why you wondered when the next time was going to be, how; the reason why his eyes slipped in your mind at night, his words, the way he called you the last time you slept together.
Now that you realise that, could you go back to who you were before? Just, craving for his touch but telling yourself that it’s not okay, looking at him and wishing you could take away all of his tiredness but thinking that it’s normal, for a friend. Wanting to take every part of him and know it all, looking from far away, peeking out and stealing some but not getting it whole. Could you still do that? Cause before, you didn’t know at least. Now, could you? Sentimentally too, would you be okay with it?
Jungkook just wants to go to sleep and forget about the shitty day he had. He didn’t sleep well tonight, the house feels to empty without you and last night his brain just wouldn’t stop working, kept wondering about you. If you had dinner, what time did you go to sleep at, how much did you work, if you finished the last drama you were watching.
Today, it was pretty much just the same. The fear of you not coming back insinuated in his mind at some point during work, he even took a break and had a snack but he just kept picturing himself inside your house, all alone. Him without you, his best friend and his person. He typed on your chat for multiple times, asking you if you were eating your meal correctly, how work was going, if you were craving for ice cream just like he was, he texted sorry too, but he always ended up not sending the messages.
He’s tired, work was rough and he wishes he could just go back in time to ask you what you want to eat for dinner, he’d cook it even though he’s tired as hell. He wouldn’t sleep for three days straight, if that would be able to bring you back just to have dinner together.
He hates to know that you feel uncomfortable with him, can’t come back home because he’s there, that you won’t look at him in the same way as you did before. He hates to not have you by his side, when just a look could make him happy.
The guys packed him on the shoulder, told him that he did the right thing, but he doesn’t think so. These days have been hell. There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about the way you looked at him, how he stuttered those words out and doesn’t regret it.
Today they all had lunch together, with Eunji, Hana and Hyunjoo too. It was so odd to not see you there that he kept spacing out all the time. The girls didn’t talk about you and he even though he wanted to he didn’t ask because probably you didn’t tell them what happened.
The elevator doors open and the end of the hallway looks so far from here that he wishes he could teleport. Even the passcode of your door seems too complicated to enter now. He types the first three numbers, his eyes glued on the screen.
The door clicks, a grimace on his face, lips pouty in confusion. Then, your face.
Jungkook looks at you as if you hung the stars in the sky, as if you were one of them. His eyes open wider, lips ajar, his shoulders fall down. He feels like he’s dreaming. Is it real? You’re home. When did you come, why? What- fuck, he feels like he’s going to cry.
The way he looks at you with his big starry eyes, it makes you gulp. How your fingers tingle for the need you feel to squeeze him tight and never let go. There’s a knot in your throat and all you can do is stare at him and linger in the feelings that hit you like a fucking bucket of cold water. And it’s bitter that they taste like they always did: the sweetness is the same, the audacity just bolder now that you let the door open: but they taste just the same. All this time, all these years. They’ve always been in front of you, you’ve always been way to deep and only realised after so much.
«I… I- I cooked you dinner»
He doesn’t budge, still on the doorway and with his eyes glossy. You reach your hand to him, Jungkook still stuck in place as you gently grab his wrist to make him come in, his body almost stumbling at your touch as he enters.
You close the door behind him, leave his wrist.
«You- you… what? Are you…» he shakes his head, totally astonished.
«You cooked?» his tone makes your lips stretch into a smile.
«I cooked,» you nod «I cooked us dinner»
You didn’t think your heart could beat this fast. You really didn’t notice it for all this time. Every time it happened you always blamed it on something else, not the man in front of you. When his words would make you feel comforted, when you’d search for his eyes in the room, when just his presence was enough to make you feel at ease; in every moment the emotion you’re feeling now would bubble up in your chest just for you to push it aside without even noticing, a tag with the label friendship covering its true pinkish colour.
«Take your coat off» you coo. Jungkook stands still for a few seconds, still stunned. His eyes stare at you blankly until he nods. He puts his bag on the ground and hangs his jacket, you watch him move, eyes lingering on every part of him that you missed too much. His long hair, the bangs on his forehead, the mole on his nose, the one right under his lips. When he raises his eyes and finds you staring, you don’t move your eyesight. His eyes pierce right through you, deep and transparent just like the last time. They are scared, vulnerable and totally defenceless; if you looked closely enough, maybe you would’ve always seen it.
«Jungkook, I…»
His arms wrap around you.
It’s tight and soothing and the fucking consuming. You squeeze him in your hold, your head falls on his shoulder and you know that you can’t hold it in any longer.
«I’m so sorry,» you sniff «I was selfish. I’m sorry. I- I just-»
«Ssh, it’s okay» he sniffs too. The tears burn his eyes as he tries to keep them in but having you here in his arms makes it harder. He feels you hiccup, your back shakes, your hands fist his shirt, and your nose muffles into the crook of his neck. He clenches his jaw, squeezes you tighter.
«I’m sorry too»
«I was so scared. I just- I didn’t realise»
He knows, fuck he knows. He just wishes you wouldn’t vanish away. Don’t, just don’t cause he doesn’t think he will be able to forget himself.
«It’s okay, you don’t- just please don’t leave me» he whimpers.
Jungkook breaks down in your arms. He loves you too much, values you too much to not have you in his life. He doesn’t care how much he has to hurt or hold back, he can’t do this without you, without his best friend. The house felt so empty without you.
«I won’t,» you sob «I promise I won’t. I’m sorry I made you worry and left. I needed time and- I- I needed to think» you sniff. His hands stroke your hair and you let go of a deep breath. You missed the feeling of his caresses, how his touch is always been enough to sooth you.
«You didn’t do anything wrong» he whispers. A tear streams down from the corner of his eye, it tickles his cheek and makes him loiter in the warmth of you even more.
«No, I- I was selfish… you opened up to me, and I- I left you. I’m-»
«You’re here,» he whispers «you came back. You’re here with me, you- you didn’t leave» his voice breaks and you feel him tremble. Your heart clenches and stings in your chest as he nuzzles his nose into your neck.
«Just- please,» he pleads «stay with me»
Your dim breaks. You shake your head, lay your lips on his neck. He whimpers as he hiccups and when you lay a soft kiss on his skin Jungkook feels like dying inside. Your lips are so soft. Your nose brushes against him, another kiss laid on his skin just right upper, then another one and another one until you’re just under his jaw, his breath unstable as the tears wet his skin. Your hands leave his back, your body parts slightly, his hands reluctantly let go of the hold he has around you. You cup his cheeks, soft and reddish from the crying, look at him in those beautiful stars. They’re a bit swollen from the tears, his cheeks are damp, his lips trembling.
«I was so fucking scared that I didn’t realise»
«Me neither,» he nods «but it doesn’t- it doesn’t matter. Just don’t leave. I can’t-» he gulps harshly.
«The thought of not having- you by my side, it killed me. I- I couldn’t sleep, work was hell, I-»
«I’m not leaving you» your hand tenderly strokes his hair. Jungkook stay still as you dry his tears with your thumb. You want to slap yourself for causing him so much pain, he must’ve felt so scared already and you just- you just made it harder. You should’ve talked to him, should’ve faced him.
«I promise» you smile softly. Jungkook could implode for how happy he feels right now, with you smiling at him just in the same way as you used to. Your lips tremble and a new hiccup comes out. His arms go back to where they were before, they squeeze you to him and it’s so familiar and bittersweet, it smells like home and trust and all you can do is let go in his embrace.
You let the rest of your tears come out, hear his breathing slow down, feel his heartbeat against you. You kiss his jaw, your lips tickle his wet skin, your hand reaches behind his neck and Jungkook wishes he could just take his heart out of his chest and step on it, make the feelings go away. But it’s just too saccharine, the way your lips linger on his skin for a second too long, how you perfectly fit in his arms.
«I want you,» you whisper «I want you whole» you lay another kiss on his mandible.
«I want every part of you, every- everything you can give» you peck his chin, look at his eyes. Jungkook doesn’t understand, his eyes wide and glossy stare at you as if you were telling him to solve the hardest mathematical problem ever. Still, he looks at you with such tenderness that it makes your insides twist. He’s lost, totally.
If his love could be represented, he’d paint you in pinkish colours, then in black and white, in blue and all the colours in the world. He’d make a different version every time just to admire at your face some more, to keep the next one to himself when the lights will make the one before fade, so he’ll always be able to meet your eyes just like now. Remember the feeling you light up in him.
«I love you»
It’s odd, how lives intertwine. How people can take and give from each other pieces that can’t be seen, how two roads that never meet can lead to the same place. It’s beautiful, the way you speak. It’s dreamy. Its dreamy, the way you look at him, the way he used to look at you for all this time, it’s beautiful how your lives intertwined, how you became each other’s mystery and answer at the same time. How you’ve walked together for all this years, silently hand by hand but without ever looking down at them, not even knowing.
Jungkook laughs. He laughs as his tears fall down and he thinks that maybe the world will end, cause his head is spinning. You chuckle and your eyes are wet, and suddenly your hands cup his cheeks again.
«I love you» you repeat. He shakes his head, sniffing totally in disbelief.
«I do» you laugh, nodding. His head stops. His eyes widen slowly, the look on his face makes you bite down on your lips, it’s like seeing the sky clear after a thunderstorm, as if the sun was peeking out from behind the dark clouds. His mouth opens.
«I do» you whisper.
Suddenly he wants to cry even more. Your lips lock with his and it’s so gentle and sweet, and oh god, so consuming. You take all the space, every cellule of his body, all the air in the room, in the house even. You leave him breathless, lungs burning on fire. His lips are soft, wet with tears, salty. Jungkook whimpers in your mouth, his hand reaches your face and fuck, there’s no end. No end to how fucking much you have of him, how much of him is yours.
His thumb strokes your cheek, his other hand falls on your waist. His tongue is warm, his eyes shut, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks, both of your hearts pounding. You kiss slowly, sweetly, lovingly. You wish you could never let go, have him like this forever. And for the first time your thoughts are the same as Jungkook’s in this moment. If he could read your mind, how big would be the smile stretching on his face. Jungkook smiles on your lips, his teeth brush against your tongue, his digits on your waist lightly dig into your skin. When you part, your eyes are still shut, foreheads pressing against each other.
«I’m sorry,» you mumble on his lips, he shakes his head, pecking your lips with such tenderness «I’m sorry it took me so long to realise»
Jungkook is the happiest man in the world.
You came back, you’re in his arms, you love him. You fucking love him, you do.
«It’s okay, it’s perfect. You- just please come to me» he guides you close to him again, you shut your mouth when his warmth wraps around you, his eyes shut. You don’t want to let go, you won’t.
«Jungkook» you call softly. He hums against you neck, his lips dare to peck your skin and he can’t fucking believe that he gets to do it cause he simply can.
«When did you realise?»
«I already knew» he murmurs.
«But… on Eunji’s birthday… you came back home and were so drunk. You slept with someone else and I just- I guess my feelings were so strong that I couldn’t control them anymore»
«I slept with someone?» you ask, your head shooting up too look at him. Jungkook nods.
«You said he had a pretty dick» he chuckles for your choice of words, even though he can still fill it sting. Just the thought of you in someone else’s arms makes him heart clench.
«Oh! No!» you laugh, «Jungkook, I didn’t sleep with anyone. He was peeing outside of the club and I was so drunk that I kept repeating him that he had a pretty dick for all the way home» you explain.
«Ew, it’s so embarrassing. Eunji made him take me home because he’s her brother’s best friend»
Jungkook can’t believe his ears. His eyes are about to roll out of his sockets for how wide they are.
«You- I thought…» he shakes his head.
«I didn’t, you know I don’t feel comfortable in those type of situations» you shake your head.
«Even though… last week I-»
«I know» he murmurs.
«You know?» he nods.
How does he? You don’t understand, how is-
«I came home early and- I… heard» his words are faint, a thin line that holds all the pain his heart was stained with. It echoes in the room, gets back to your ears until your eyes widen and you feel disoriented.
«So you-» you can’t even process your words properly «I’m so sorry, fuck» you really don’t know how to apologise. He was at home, while you were under another man. He heard you. His eyes were swollen the next morning, that’s why. He couldn’t even look at you.
«If I knew, I wouldn’t- I…»
He smiles softly, his heart clenches.
«You’re in my arms now» his lips tremble slightly.
«I just kept thinking about you and when it was going to happen again. I kept telling myself that we shouldn’t have slept together in the first place, I felt guilty that I thought about my best friend in such ways and- I- I told myself that it was happening because I hadn’t slept with anyone else for a while»
You do your best to explain without getting your words intertwined, but Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change into an angry one, he doesn’t glare at you, doesn’t budge. He just nods, smiles sweetly.
Love can be blind. It can blind you to the point that you can’t see straight, can’t decipher what’s happening. You were scared, lost.
«I hurt you so fucking much» you whisper.
«Maybe it had to happen, for us to be here» he whispers.
«I don’t care about anything,» he strokes your hair «It hurt. But you’re here with me and I just- I just want you close to me»
His arms hold you just for the sake of it.
His warmth is intoxicating, the sound of his breath too. You wish you realised sooner, you wish that he didn’t have to hear you in such circumstances cause the pain on his face the next day was unbearable. When he saw you the next morning, all he could think about was you under someone else, your skin against his, your eyes looking at him in the same way you looked at him. The same thoughts that teared him apart for all night long. But now, it doesn’t matter. It was just a step that had to be taken, in a way or another. It was just something that guided you to him, in his arms right now.
Something in the air shifts. All your senses tingle, they scream for him and his touch just the same as Jungkook’s. He wants to have you, the most vulnerable part of you, like no one else ever did. You want his lips and his caresses, his eyes deep into yours.
«Let’s go to bed?»
His breath catches in his throat.
«I want you closer than this»
The path to your bedroom never felt so good to walk on, with Jungkook’s fingers digging in your hips and his lips on your neck. It’s thrilling, the feeling running through your body. It’s saccharine, sugar coated. Your hands in his hair fit so good, the way you whimper when you stumble cause you can’t see in front of you, how he chuckles on your lips.
«I want you in my bed,» he breathes on your lips «wanna keep you there all night long»
Fuck, the way he makes you melt in his arms with just a few words. You nod eagerly, letting your hands run on his back. Jungkook can’t hold himself back any longer, gripping you by your thighs and kissing your neck, his lips are wet and with the air your skin fills of shivers. His fingers dig into your skin as he moves towards his bedroom.
«I want you so bad» you whine.
«Gonna give it to you baby, everything you want»
The door is shut and Jungkook doesn’t seem to want to let go of holding you as he kisses your lips. It’s too much to ask of him, after loving you for so long. You’re too breathtaking, too perfect.
«Let me» he kisses you again «open the d-» another kiss. You laugh on his mouth, his giggles fill the air as he keeps pecking your lips.
«Kook, the door»
He smiles big, turns around to make you open the door without letting you go. It stays open when he walks inside, doesn’t care at all and just walks to the bed, leans you down on his sheets.
«Take it off» you mumble. He moans when your hands reach his skin under the shirt, nuzzles his face into your neck. You lift the cloth, Jungkook kisses your clavicle, his lips get as low as your shirt permits, his nose brushes against the swell of your breasts. You pinch his back, giggle when he whines.
«Want you naked» you remind. He laughs and looks into your eyes, totally drunk.
«You’re so impatient» he sniggers, making you smile and turn. Your cheeks grow red as your eyes look at his nightstand.
«Look at me»
His fingers reach the hem of his shirt as you turn again, he lifts it more and takes it off from between your legs; the view makes you salivate, his muscles on full display, his brownish nipples getting hard with the cold air.
«Want me to take my pants off too?»
You want to smack his ass but you refrain yourself, you know he’s just teasing you like always.
«Shut up» you shake your head. His fingers reach the button of his pants, he slides it through the hole, pulls the zipper down.
«Let me» you sit on the bed. You kiss his neck, let your fingers graze the skin of his chest, your touch makes his cock twitch, hard and swollen in his boxers. You let your hand pass over his navel, down until you reach his dick.
Your hand lingers on it, Jungkook’s head falling back.
«Fuck, you’re too much» he moans.
«Make me so hard by doing nothing» he hisses. Butterflies fill your chest, your hand squeezes him through the cloths and you feel yourself getting wetter as he lets out a rough breath. God, the sounds he makes. They make you want to surrender to him and his pleasure, you feel the need to take him in your mouth as if your life depended on it. His hands go back on your body, fast fingers fist the material of your skirt.
«You’re too impatient» you mock. He hums a soft giggle looking at you.
«I am» he admits. Your sneaker in response makes him smile big and he lays his forehead on yours. He looks at you with those eyes, all the stars in the world couldn’t be as bright and magnificent as them and you can’t help but dive deeper and deeper.
«I want to make love to you, wanna make you feel so good» and it feels so good to be able to say it out loud. To let you know.
You kiss him, really too impatient to hold back any longer. He helps you out of your skirt, takes your shirt off, makes you lay on the bed as he takes his pants and boxers off, his socks too. And fuck, the way he looks. How fucking gorgeous this man is when he’s just standing in front of you with his cock hard and standing proudly, cockhead red and swollen, skin exposed and the tattoos on his arm on full display.
«Fuck, come here» you beg. Jungkook doesn’t let you repeat it twice, his body hovers yours and you open your legs to welcome him. He kisses your right hip, his lips are wet and they tickle your skin, make you squirm under him as he cups your breast from over the bra.
«Fuck, I love you» he hisses as he looks up at you. You can’t control the beat of your heart, too lost in him and how much youu’ r been missing. You can’t believe it took you so long to finally understand. Your lips part as you stare down at his face, his dark eyes on you. He kisses your stomach with his eyes in yours, the scene makes you so wet that you wrap your legs around him and Jungkook’s cock brushes against your panties. He moans, the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard, his mouth is still on you and the lace of your panties feels so fucking good on the underside of his cock that he shuts his eyes. He can feel your wetness even through them, they are soaked. Fucking hell. Your legs squeeze him more as you look at him, his mouth open and eyebrows pinched together. You lift your hips, to give him some friction. Hic cock twitches against you and you let out a breathy moan that makes him open his eyes.
«Oh, fuck» he moans. It’s guttural and so fucking sexy. You can’t wait to hear more, you want to make him crazy.
«Grind against me» you breathe. His cock twitches again, his jaw clenches. He lets you pull him closer with your legs, keep him tight against you until his cock is practically glued to your panties, your pussy totally soaked. His hands cup your breasts and he squeezes them gently while looking at you, your head digs into the pillows, a moan escapes your lips and Jungkook can’t help but do the same. His hips move tentatively, his cock rubs against the lace and the pressure gets to your clit. Your moan makes him whimper, your voice so sweet that it makes him repeat his movements. He can feel the outline of your lips from your panties and it’s fucking killing him.
«Fucking panties» he hisses, somehow making you laugh.
«Mh, what?» he smiles at you, his cock still brushing against your throbbing clit. You bite your lips.
«Nothing, just you» you shake your head. The pleasure is so good. Jungkook keeps smiling as he kisses the tip of your nose.
«Me what?» he asks, his fingers get under the strap of your bra, he pushes it down on your shoulder.
«Just you,» you smile «I don’t know»
He’s so fucking happy.
«Am I funny to you?» he bumps his nose against yours. His movements are slow and controlled, his thighs glued to the back of yours, eyes right deep into yours. He moves his hand under your back, his fingers fumble with the opening of your bra.
«Sometimes» you laugh, cupping his cheek. You kiss him sweetly, Jungkook smiles on your lips as he lifts the bra from your chest, he guides the straps down your shoulders and your arms until he lets it fall on the ground. He pecks your lips once more, finally fondles your breast with his hand. Your nipples are hard and he wants to tease them until you squirm under him. His cock jerks when you moan under him, the pads of his fingers brushing against them.
«Kook» you whimper. He kisses your neck all the way down to your chest, his lips lock around the pebble of your nipple as he teases the other with his fingers. Your back arches, mouth opens.
«Feels so good» you breathe. He flicks his tongue repeatedly, sucks lightly as he ruts his cock up and down on your clit. Your legs tremble, he lets go of your nipple and takes the other in his mouth. It feels too good.
«Fuck»
His hand travels on your stomach, his fingers pass your hip and reach the inside of your tights to caress it softly, tickling your skin until he presses his cock against you with his palm, his cockhead heavy on your clit. You squirm under him as he kisses your neck, his moans fill up your ears as he works his cockhead on it.
«Tell me you’re mine» he nuzzles his face into your skin. His balls are so tight he could cum right now.
«Jungkook, I’m going to-» you can’t even speak, you’re so close your blood is running hot in your veins. The pleasure it’s too much, it keeps building up and you just want to succumb.
«I’m yours»
«Only for me» he grunts.
He parts his cock from your pussy. You want to ask why but a second later his fingers link around the hem of your panties and he pushes them down onto your thighs and over your knees until they pass your ankles and get lost in the room. The need to take a good look at your wetness stops him from pushing his cock back to where it was. He stares down at your lips, parts them with his fingers and fuck, he wants a taste. Your juices are leaking out from your hole so deliciously that he can’t hold back and gathers them with his thumb.
«So fucking wet» he praises.
His lips wrap around his thumb, sucking on it and tasting you, his cock twitches as it stands angrily. You taste so sweet, so delicious for him that he promises himself he’s going to make you cum like this tonight, eat every drop, swallow all your sweetness. And then start all over again.
«Wanna be the only one who gets to taste your beautiful pussy»
Your hands grab his wrist on your leg as you nod.
«I promise» you whisper.
Jungkook lays on top of you again, he lets his wet thumb brush against your nipple as he his cock parts your lips and slides back between them. Your folds feels so good against him, the sensation makes him bite on his lips as he suppresses a loud moan. Your nails dig into his back as you look at his face, so fucking beautiful. It’s paradoxical how you think he looks like an angel when his cock it’s sliding against you so agonisingly.
«I want you to cum like this» he breathes.
He pushes his cockhead against your clit, rubs it in circular motions and then up and down, from side to side. Your juices mix with his precum, it’s so fucking wet that your juices drip on his sheets. He wants them to smell like you, to remember the way you smell when you’re working and he’s waiting for you at home, wants your juices to fucking claim his sheets.
«Can you do it? Cum all over my cockhead, baby. Do it for me»
Fuck, how couldn’t you. It’s too much. Especially when he’s asking you like this, looking at you like you’re the essence of his world.
You nod quickly, your chest raises up and down at a torturing pace and Jungkook can’t take his eyes off of you. He loves you so fucking much, you’re his. Fucking his.
«I’m- fuck, I’m going to cum»
«Me too, baby. Cum with me?» he sweetly brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, he kisses your cheek with such tenderness and sincerity and your heart just can’t process it. It explodes in your chest, your legs shake and suddenly you’re whimpering and squeezing your eyes shut, your head digs into his pillows, your walls tighten. Jungkook grunts, pushing all the length of his cock against your folds and wrapping you closer to him in his arms. He cums so hard that his head falls on your chest, his moans muffled against your skin. His cock jerks, his cum wets your stomach and drips down your thighs and onto the sheets, a bit of it on his abdomen and chest too as he lets himself lay on top of you.
It’s blissful, the way your fingers stroke his hair as he breathes harsly, he feels his heart pound and his insides melt. You stay silent, look at him just laying in your arms. You never felt so light, so free as now. Love can be blind, so blind that something so special had to wait all this time to finally be seen; all these years and your souls intertwined in every way possible, the roots of your plants were always in the same pot. You were so used to his presence and his leaves that you didn’t realise how much soil you shared, how deeply were intertwined your roots, how they held each other up with such tenderness and love. You want to see his flowers, want to share your water with him, you want to bloom and wilt with him, you want it all.
«I love you»
You caress his cheek even though you can’t see them, his eyelashes flutter against your chest and he raises his face to look at you, then rests again on top of you.
«I love you too» he answers. A big smile. Starry eyes, rosy cheeks, messy hair, totally love drunk. And you couldn’t love it more. You pinch the apple of his cheeks, he scrunches his nose and pouts his lips.
You feel attacked, seriously.
«Why are you so cute?» you whine. His giggles fill the room as he gets up. He lays beside you, wraps his arms around you and squeezes.
«I want to spoon you» his fingertips dig into your hips as he kisses your shoulder. You huff contently, turning around. His legs intertwine with yours and Jungkook rests his head in the space between your shoulder and neck, his chest tight against you.
«Are you comfortable?» he pecks your cheek. It’s perfect.
You nod and shut your eyes, lingering in the feeling of the moment.
«Don’t sleep» he whines, pinches your hip.
«I haven’t finished with you yet»
«What? I’m tired» you laugh. You really aren’t, but you like to tease him. Your eyes open, head turns slightly to look at his eyebrows furrowing as he frowns.
«It’s not true» he blubbers. Fuck, how can he look so adorable in such a situation? All naked, tight against you.
«It is,» you pout back «I’m really tired» you fake a yawn. His head falls on the pillow.
You stay still for a little, then decide that you want to look at his pretty face. He wails as you turn around, clearly not okay with it.
«Let me spoon you at least»
«Wanna look at your pretty face» you puff at him. His body relaxes and when you turn around the view hits you like a truck on a highway. His hair are messy, long strands following sweetly the roundness of his cheek as he stares at you. His eyes are round, doe-like, incredibly profound they capture the light of the room and exhibit it perfectly, stars scattered across their skies. His lips are red, and it’s because of you. You caress his cheek, brush the strands away. He smiles largely, his hand grazes the back of yours and squeezes it, his other one behind your back so sweetly that you melt.
«You can fall asleep on my chest» he murmurs. You shake your head.
«I was just teasing you,» you giggle «don’t wanna sleep now»
He huffs, faking annoyance but it’s just really endearment.
You graze his chest with your fingers, tickle him with the nails as you slowly move up and down. His cock is still hard, the tip red.
«You’re… you’re still hard» you breathe.
Jungkook looks at you, the way your eyes stare at his cock on his abdomen, a big smile stretching on his lips as his cheeks grow a little reddish.
«Can’t help it baby,» he simply says «it’s what you do to me»
He doesn’t lead the conversation anywhere else, as if he doesn’t intend to do anything about it, a dreamy sigh leaving his lips. He stares at you in awe, he can’t believe he gets to do this. In his arms, you naked and relaxed, laying down to stay. You don’t get up to leave his mattress and go back to just being friends, close but not close enough, a heartbeat away. Laying with you feels ecstatic. It’s the forbidden fruit, the one he always craved for; the intimacy of it, being in your rawest states and still trusting each other in such a profound way, getting to see each others fully in every way possible, physically, emotionally.
«Love» you whisper. His big eyes look straight at you, his heart stumbles in his chest.
«Last time… you called me love»
«I… couldn’t hold back» he shakes his head, nuzzling into you.
«It felt different from the times before, it was…»
«I was making love to you» he mumbles. The way he clings his chin to the fist of his hand on the pillow right after makes your stomach clench. The silence creates a foggy haze in the room, but you still see each other clearly. He must’ve hurt so much, for so long. You want to make him smile. You want to reassure him, make him feel loved just as he did to you that day.
«My baby» you whisper, leaving a peck on the tip of his nose. He scrunches it and smiles big at you.
«Let me do the same- » you kiss his lips and although the intention was to go for just a peck Jungkook’s lips keep you attached to him like a magnet «and make you feel good?»
«Mmph…» he moans as soon as your hand reaches the base of his cock. You feel it twitch, watch it as it gets even harder in your hand. Jungkook gulps, shuffling on the mattress to get comfortable. The view of your pretty little hand around him makes him longing, yearning to have you all over him. He doesn’t even have to wait after cuming already, he knows he could be ready for you right now. And when you stroke him, oh god, the sound he makes… you wish you could record it and play it all over again and again.
He folds his arms, rests on the back of them to look at the view properly, head up and chest raising roughly.
«Fuck, I love it» he hisses. You lick your lips, get closer to him on your side as you let your hand pull his foreskin back, his cockhead furious and leaking precum already.
«You like it?» you coo. He looks at you, your lips wet and your eyes gawking at him. You make him powerless just by doing nothing. Your thumb touches his slit.
«Shit, yes» he moans.
«Love it, I love it»
You smile at him. Jungkook can’t take his eyes off your face and your hand, not even for a second. When you gather his precum and stroke it all over his cockhead he breathes hard and suddenly he craves for a taste of you. His chin points at you, lips pouting as his cock pulses in your hand.
You peck his lips, tighten your hand around him and twist your wrist. He moans loudly, his head falls back.
«Fuck» he cries.
«You’re so beautiful» you whisper.
«Want you to feel so good»
He nods lazily, his eyes shut. Your hand is… perfect. Just perfect. It makes him thaw under you, for you, until he’s just whining and moaning, totally lost.
«You- nnngh- you do»
You push his hair behind his ears, you don’t think you’ve ever felt this feeling. This kind of excitement while doing something for someone else, only for him. This part of you is his, tied and bound to his soul.
«All the time» he shivers.
«Every fucking time you- fuck» his moan is high pitched, desperate. He’s losing his mind, it’s too much when you stroke his cock and have your pretty eyes looking at him so sweetly, holding all the love he always wished to get from you. It’s too much, and he just wants to explode.
«Every fucking time, you don’t even realise,» he shakes his head «you- you just, fuck I love you»
It’s brutal, how he takes your face in his palm and pushes your lips onto his, brutal for your heart. Such a crook.
The kiss is messy, sloppy, totally heedless. He just wants you close, it’s just for the sake of feeling you more, and it makes you so wet you feel your juices drip down your asshole.
«Love you- so fucking much» he whines. You kiss him more, stroke his cock until his balls are tight and Jungkook is squirming on the bed, his sounds creating the perfect melody for your ears, his pleasure skyrocketing until he just knows he has to stop you.
His hand wraps around yours, stopping your movements.
«Want you,» he hisses «wanna cum inside you while I feel you close» you couldn’t resist such a plea even if you wanted to.
You smile at him and nod, your skin is on fire just at the thought of it. Jungkook’s hand tickles your side as it descends on your hip, his digits dig into your skin. He goes to sit up but you stop him with your hand on his chest.
«Huh?» he hums puzzled, his lips forming an “o” and his eyebrows high.
«Let me» you smile. Fuck, he feels like cuming already.
«Let me take care of you» you whisper. Jungkook hisses as he lays back down, soft strands of hair spread on the pillow and starry eyes look at you while you straddle him. He doesn’t know if you resemble more an angel or the devil himself with your love surrounding him and your dangerous touch, but maybe you’re the collision of both.
You lay down to kiss his lips, a soft and gentle kiss that makes him yearn even more just because it’s ohso lovely.
He must’ve been blessed, cause when you let your hips grind against him and he feels the warmth of your core he feels like he’s in heaven. Maybe you’re an angel, most definitely the prettiest of all.
Your lips feels so fucking good that his cock jerks and he has to hold back himself from cuming.
«Fuck, wait-» he hisses.
«I don’t think I can- I need to desensitise a bit or I- I’ll cum»
You stop your movements and lean down to kiss him some more. You caress his cheek, Jungkook’s arm can’t help but keep you close and tight against him. Your soft breasts feel so good against the hardness of his chest, your hair hanging down from the side of your face. His hand squeezes your asscheek and a cheeky grin appears on his face.
«Feels so good to get to do this» he pipes.
«You used to do that before too» you snigger and he squeezes your flesh once more.
«Only in bed» he laughs. You shake your head and pinch his right nipple lightly, watching as he keens and brings his hand to cover the injured part.
«Why?» he whines with his eyes closed. You lay down and kiss the tip of his nose.
«I get to do this too» you coo. He sighs deeply and glares at you, lips pouty.
«You used to do this before too» he murmurs. You smile at him.
«Not in bed? I should’ve and could’ve but I didn’t. I had to try»
«Fuck, you’re so annoying» he groans even though a big smile is already stretching on his lips. It’s beautiful how the change of your relationship didn’t change the way you act around each other, the same old habits and teases.
«Should I kiss it for you?» you laugh. Jungkook peeks at you from his half lidded eyes.
«Do I get to kiss your ass when I’m outside of bed?»
Your laugh fills the room, the apples of your cheeks full. He pushes you onto him, his hand coming to your face, he kisses your lips, pecks your nose and your cheeks, your forehead too. Silence spread in the air as he pours his love onto you with caresses and little sighs, totally rapturous.
You kiss his neck, his clavicles, his shoulders and his pecs, lick on his nipple. Jungkook squirms under you and a second later you’re… kissing it. He laughs out loud, his giggles are high pitched and he scrunches his nose as he lets his head fall back on the pillow. So fucking cute, you think. You want to keep him in your pocket and never let go.
«Are we ready to go?» you giggle as he still laughs. Jungkook nods, eyes bright. His bangs are messy and you take some time to brush them with your fingers as his chuckles summer down.
«It’s gonna be messy again, come on» he whines.
«So impatient,» you sigh «let me make my baby pretty» you coo. Jungkook whines again.
«Please,» he strokes your back «wanna be inside you»
«Mmh, ‘kay baby» you hum against his lips. You nuzzle your nose into his neck, blow on it just to hear the sound of his humming when he shudders under you as you take a hold of the base of his cock. He’s so hard that you let out a dreamy sigh, totally in love with the feeling of him in your hand. Jungkook’s hips stutter up, his cheeks paint of red when his eyes meet you and you wonder if it’s just the warmth of the room or your effect on him.
Your core brushes against him and he releases a soft yearning hum. You sit up, breast on full sight and eyes on him as you push yourself onto him. It’s so fucking wet and tight and delicious that he doesn’t ever want to leave your pussy. Fuck, he’d spend every second of the day inside you if he could.
«So tight» he moans. You slowly fill yourself up with him, he grabs your breasts and squeezes them, fumbles your soft flesh as you start to move unrushed. You’re so beautiful on top of him, so pretty. All for him and him only.
«Talk to me» Jungkook wants to hear your words as you ride him. The position is totally new to the both of you but fuck, it feels perfect. He fills you up so good that your walls pulsate all around him, getting to see him under you with his big dark eyes on your face makes you want to spoil him in all the love he showered you with the last time and even more, you want him to feel totally engulfed by it, from how much you love him.
«Love it, I love your cock» you moan. You put your weight on your hands on the bed, leaning back a little as his cock hits the perfect spot inside you. Jungkook pinches your nipple, your breasts look so good that he wishes he could kiss your skin. He watches them bounce with every move, feels his cock throb and leak precum inside you. It’s so fucking wet, your juices mixed together and god, the sounds you make could make him crazy.
«How much?» he hisses. You bite your lips.
«So much baby» you whine. His hand reaches your clit, he rubs it gently with his thumb and looks at your face. His heart pounds wildly, you turn him on so much that he has to restrain himself every time. However, now he wants you close and even though he’s loving the way you’re taking him so good, your body is too far for him.
«Love» he calls out putting both of his hands on your hips and staring up at you. You look down at him, his skin is a bit sweaty and his lips red from all the kisses you shared. Jungkook sits up.
«Want you closer, please» he maffles.
«Let me open my legs so I can hold you»
You let his cock pull out, the loss of contact makes you grimace and Jungkook smiles endeared as he pinches your cheek. He opens his thighs, his cock stands proud against his abdomen, so pretty. He guides you onto him, your thighs over his and your pussy back on him. His hands grab the flesh of your ass, his face hides in the crook of your neck and he breathes in your scent as you take him back into your heaven. Like this, he thinks he could die happily. Fuck, so close and perfect. The contact of your skin makes him breathless, the feeling of you all over him, so tight that not a single inch isn’t against him. The way you hug his cock makes his head spin, how you grind your hips into him and dig your nails into his back. Your moans in his ears, he captures every single and makes sure that the next one comes out because you’re feeling even better. He rubs your clit, sucks your nipples, kisses your neck, keeps you close until your sweats mix and all he can do is breathe you in.
«You’re perfect» you whisper. His heart trembles, all the defences he had to put on for all these years without even realising are down on the floor, totally scattered in pieces. They burn into ashes, fire takes over them completely until there’s nothing left but haze, and then there’s you. You on top of him, you under him, you on his lips, you in his mind, just you. You’re everywhere, part of him.
«I was so stupid-» you hiss as he kisses your cheek «fuck, how could I not see it?»
His nose nuzzles into your cheek and he pecks your skin repeatedly, his thumb rubbing faster on your clit.
«Ssh, we’re- nngh fuck, we’re here now» he reassures.
«Never wanna leave you,» you mumble «never»
Jungkook feels like crying suddenly. There’s a knot in his throat that tastes like pain, like all the tears he shed and every night he spent thinking about you. All the worry that he felt when you weren’t with him, the feeling of loveliness without you by his side, the feeling of not being enough to be seen, to be considered as more. It all gets back to him and his eyes burn, his vision becomes foggy, his breath ragged for the pleasure of having you here.
«Baby,» he whines «feel like crying» his voice trembles.
You stop your movements, totally focus on him. Jungkook shakes his head though, pushes you onto him more to make you keep going.
«Just make love to me» he whispers.
«I still can’t- still can’t believe you’re mine»
«I’m yours» you don’t wait a second more to let it out. You watch him beam with his eyes glossy and can’t help but kiss him. You kiss all of his worries away, every single one. As you make love to him so sweetly, they all melt. He cries, salty tears mix with your kisses, your hands dry them and you kiss the path they walked on. You spoil him with your touch, your caresses, even your breath on his skin. Jungkook can’t even speak properly from the feeling in his chest.
«I love you, love»
«Fuck, oh god- call me that again» he moans. He lets his head fall back as you keep moving, the expanse of his neck displayed for you. You let your hand trace it and then do the same for his chest, rub his nipples and hear him moan.
«My love» you repeat, breath rough.
«Mine, you’re mine»
«Fuck yes,» he whimpers «yours baby»
You want to make him cum. You want to see him shake in pleasure and contract his abs, you want everything he can give and more. Your hand travels farther down, Jungkook squeezes your ass again as he feels your touch graze his skin until you get to his balls. They’re wet with your juices, so tight and full of cum for you. He moans loudly, his mouth attaches your neck as you caress them sweetly in your hand. Your touch is so gentle and his cock feels so fucking good, his body feels like levitating from how much you’re giving him. It’s too much to hold back.
«God, you’re- you’re going to make me-» he howls «cum» he shudders.
You kiss him deeply, your tongues in each others mouth and your eyes closed, foreheads touching and hearts glued to each other.
«Cum for me» you breathe on his lips.
«Cum inside me, show me how you cum for me, love»
His eyes open, eyebrows furrow as he moans. You kiss him more, spoil him totally. You whisper how much you love him, how good he feels inside you, how beautiful he is. Until it’s fucking unbearable, his cock twitches and all he can do is let go. Jungkook groans, digs his nose into your neck in such a desperate way that you feel your heart being wrapped tightly and squeezed almost to the point that you can’t breathe anymore, his whimpers come out muffled on your skin, his cum filling you up totally as you keep moving on top of him and in his hold. You cum with his moans in you ears as you milk him dry, the room spinning and your legs shaking. You collapse in his arms, feel him sob in your hold. Even when you don’t realise it you kiss his hair, stroke his back as your body feels light and wobbly, totally lost in its high. You cup his cheeks and peck his lips, the mole right under, the one on his nose, his forehead. Jungkook never wants to let go.
«Cuddles» he murmurs on your neck right after, hiding from the world. You nod lazily, his cock still inside you.
It’s weird, the roads that love takes and the path it walks onto. It’s odd, how it can blossom without asking for permission, how it grows and spreads, takes over everything it finds on its way. It’s beautiful, how Jungkook clings onto you like you’re love itself and you do the same for him, roots intertwined and shared soil in the same pot, one soul fixed together with pieces of each other, like it’s always been. Since you were sixteen and he was nineteen, for all these years. And for many more to come
Read more about Closer here: Closer: Too Close (Teaser)
Read my other works here: Masterlist
Taglist: @p-i-e-d-p-i-p-e-r, @kaitlynlovesbm, @bytheinaya, @jub-jub, @taolucha, @minayas1998, @seoulrenebae-blog, @ppeachyttae, @gluk97, @jk97bam, @diorh0seokie, @gwsjungkookie, @moonlikemeh, @skzthinker, @eyssdumpie, @sleepy-sae, @jjkw-7, @singularityjes, @vvicaddiction, @kimchijeonjk @jungkookieeee97
#jungkook fic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook au#jungkook one shot#jk angst#jk x reader#jk fanfic#jk fanfiction#jk fic#jungkook x y/n#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#bts masterlist#jungkook masterlist#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jk x y/n#jk x you#jeon jungkook oneshot#jeon jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook x you#bts one shot#bts ot7#bts masterpost#jungkook drabble#jk fluff#bts smut
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Troublemakers
masterlist
pairing: regulus black x female reader
warnings: cursing, fluff, mr no nose
summary: you and reggie being the entertainment in voldemorts cult
a/n: this was funnier in my head, i kinda butchered the idea but oh well, hope you enjoy it !
song: mind mischief - tame impala
You and Regulus were at a Death Eater meeting. You sat next to each other, as always.
Your hands were under the table as the two of you played rock, paper, scissors.
Lucius was next to you and he watched you hit your thigh, annoyed when you lost.
Voldemort hits his wand on the table twice, waiting for you two to stop.
Caught up in the game, since you had gotten four ties in a row, you both hadn't heard him.
It wasn't until you felt both your heads being slapped in the back did you realize the Dark Lord was waiting on you two.
"If you two are done with your filthy muggle game, I was just about to mention..."
You and Regulus rested your heads on the table, eyes fluttering shut as you two tune out the boring voice of Voldemort.
You were soon awoken by a bang on the table.
"I hope you two enjoyed your beauty sleep," he glares.
"We did," you and Regulus say in union, then high five each other
You glance around the room and notice that everyone else has already gone.
"You two can be excused from this behavior if you teach me how to play that game, but you two mustn't tell a single soul," Voldemort whispers.
You look at each other, a grin making its way to both your faces. You glance back at Voldemort before nodding your heads.
This was the second meeting this week.
You two had been arguing about random stuff, getting things thrown at the two of you as you ran around shouting at one another.
You were sitting at the meeting, thinking about things that you are better at than Reg.
You suddenly feel a tug on your hair.
"The hell?"
"What?" Regulus shrugs. You turn your head back to the people at the table, but you feel another tug.
"Can you fucking not," you whisper harshly.
"Can you fucking not," he mimics you in a high pitch voice.
You kick his leg with your heel and he lets out a hiss of pain.
Voldemort slaps his hands onto the table, making you both jump.
"Stop this foolishness, now," he orders you two.
"Not until you get a manicure," you roll your eyes and cross your arms.
"I'm sorry?" Voldemort asks as Regulus covers his laugh with his hand.
"A manicure, you know... to fix your nails," you say as you look at the people around the table. Most of them are either scared for you, or just shaking their heads.
You feel another tug on your hair, this time harder.
"Ow! Regulus, what the fuck," you hold your head.
"Enough!" Voldemort shouts.
"He's just mad he has no hair for someone to pull," Reggie whispers in your ear.
"Make one more comment on the topic of my baldness-"
Sat next to Regulus, you two were gossiping about the Death Eaters.
Not everything you were discussing was true, but they were things you heard.
For example, Regulus heard some muggleborn girls laughing about how Lucius looks like something they call a "Barbie".
After you two found out what it was, you couldn't get that picture out of your head.
You two giggling like children while pointing at Lucius and whispering to each other.
"Are you both done laughing at me," Lucius stares at you both with a bored face.
"Whatever do you mean, Lucy."
"First, don't call me that. Second, you know exactly what I mean!"
"We really don't."
"Fine," you huff, "we were just comparing your looks you a Barbie Doll," you explain.
"A what?" Voldemort and Lucius asks.
"Let me show you," you take out your wand and conjure a Barbie.
Regulus takes it and holds it out to them.
To everyone's surprise, Voldemort himself starts laughing.
He points his finger back and for between the doll and Lucius as he laughs.
"You guys are right! He does indeed look like Barbara!"
"Barbie."
"Same thing."
"Not you too, My Lord," Lucious runs a hand over his face.
"Who the fuck did this!"
"Uh, oh," you and Reg sigh. You figured that after the conversation with hair at one of the recent meetings, Voldemort would want some.
But you two decided that was too nice for your liking. So you decided on clown hair.
Voldemort comes rushing into the living room, where everyone was on the couches.
Gasps of horror filled the room as people stared at the bright rainbow hair.
"You two," Voldemort snarls.
"You," you both grin.
"What have you done to my head!"
"We thought you could use some hair," you smile innocently at him.
"You call this rubbish hair?!"
"Hey! We think it suits you!" Regulus exclaims as you nod in agreement.
"Get it off of me, this instant!"
"Hmm-"
"Now!"
"Hmmm…"
He starts speed walking to you, you two tried so hard not to laugh at the sight, that your eyes started watering.
He is almost where you guys are sat when you two stand up and start sprinting out of the room.
"Gotta go!" Reg shouts as you rush out into the hall.
"GET BACK HERE! REGULUS! Y/N!"
#nina writes 🤭💗#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#regulus x reader#regulus black x reader#regulus x you#regulus black x you#marauders#harry potter#harry potter x you#harry potter fluff#regulus black fluff#marauders fluff#fluff#regulus arcturus black x you#regulus arcturus black x reader#regulus black oneshot#regulus black fanfiction#regulus black imagine#harry potter imagine#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter oneshot#humor#harry potter humor
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False Pretenses
fwb!Jungkook x Reader
Summary: Just how fair does the ‘benefits’ aspect between Friends with Benefits actually
extend? Based on this meme.
Word Count: 1.5k
Warnings: crack to fluff, suggestive moments and ending, swearing, Jk has side by side
washer/dryer units cause it’s funnier, reader’s referred to as ‘Ma’am’, not proofread
A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! Sorry it took me soo long to get to, I hope
you’ll still like it tho! (I’ll also be posting a couple more pieces with this pairing in the next couple
weeks, so keep your eyes peeled if you liked this)
Masterlist
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
It was the type of text you had gotten more than used to receiving from him over the past few
months, smirking down at your phone as you waited for the elevator in his building.
“Need you so bad rn. Come over?❤”
The heart was a new addition, he must be feeling particularly needy today, you thought to
yourself as the elevator doors finally opened.
Since the two of you had established this new part of your friendship, it was rare for you to go
more than four or five days without receiving some variation of the same short message from
him.
You were still slightly surprised by his text, seeing as you had only been over the night before,
but you weren’t complaining by any means. Though you may have enjoyed pretending that
Jungkook was the needier one in your arrangement, if you were completely honest, you were
just as affected by him, finding yourself missing him on the nights you didn’t spend together.
When he opened the door, you noticed he looked a little more disheveled than usual, his hair
sticking up all over the place, as if he’d been running his hands through it, a habit you knew he
did when he was stressed.
“You got here fast.” He noted, letting you into the apartment.
“Well, your text made it sound kinda urgent, didn’t want to leave you waiting too long.” You said,
wandering through into the living room, slowing to a stop as you caught sight of the chaotic state
of the space, cleaning supplies and laundry scattered around, furniture moved all out of place.
“What happened in here?” You asked, turning back to Jungkook, who was now avoiding your
eyes. “Koo?”
“I lied, I didn’t want sex.” He said guiltily, looking up at you. “I need you to help me clean.”
“I-, what?” You blinked at him, unsure if you heard him correctly.
He slumped back against the counter, looking stressed as he ran his hand through his hair
again. ”My parents decided to surprise me by announcing they’re coming to visit tomorrow, but
I’ve done nothing but sleep since I got home from tour last week, so the house is a fucking mess
and everything’s a disaster and I need help, please.” He pleaded, staring at you.
You immediately began pulling your coat back on, turning back towards the door. “You’re
unbelievable.”
“Y/n, please!” He quickly followed after you, catching your sleeve. “I’ll do anything you want! I’ll
buy you dinner, I’ll rub your back, I’ll even let you pick what we watch for a month!”
You paused, turning to look back at him with a raised brow. “Even if I want to re-watch ‘Our
Beloved Summer’ for a third time?”
He bit lip, trying to fight back a pained grimace before nodding slowly. “Whatever you want.”
You stared at him for a long moment.
“Fine.” You said reluctantly, caving as you saw the genuine desperation in his eyes. You could
never say no to him.
“Thank you!” He sang, catching you in a tight hug and spinning you around in a circle. “I promise
I’ll make it up to you!”
“Yeah, whatever,” You grumbled as he set you back on your feet. “Where do we start?”
“Laundry room?” He offered. “It’s mostly done, I just need to vacuum behind the machines.”
Do you really think your mom’s gonna look back there?” You raised a brow, following him down
the hall.
“She’s very thorough.” He said seriously.
“Fair enough.” You shrugged. “I don’t quite see why I’m necessary for this part though?”
“I was afraid if I tried to clean back there by myself, I’d slip and get stuck or die.”
“So you want me to slip and die behind your washer instead?” You shot him an accusatory look.
“No! I’ll hold onto you and keep you safe,” He smiled reassuringly. “You know, like the buddy
system.”
“I thought the buddy system was for camping so you didn’t get lost or eaten by bears?”
“It’s a multi-purpose system!” He said, his earlier agitation starting to flare up again at your
teasing. “Are you gonna help me or not?”
“Yeah, I’ll do it, pass me the vacuum.” You relented, boosting yourself up on top of the dryer.
He held onto your hips to keep you balanced as you cleaned, his mind beginning to wander as
he stared at your ass, his fingers starting to slowly knead your flesh absent-mindedly.
“Koo.” You warned, shooting him a quick look.
“Right, sorry.” He snapped back to attention, ceasing his movements and focusing back on the
task at hand.
You finished up quickly, passing the vacuum attachment back to him and letting him help you
down.
“Thank you.” He said.
“You’re welcome.” You answered, looking around expectantly. “What’s next?”
The apartment wasn’t nearly as bad of a mess as he claimed it to be, but it still took both of you
several hours of work to get everything back in order, finishing off with laundry and changing all
the bedding.
“Why are these sticky?!” You asked, mildly horrified as you helped him strip the sheets off his
bed.
“Relax, it’s just caramel sauce.” He said.
You looked up at him confused. “We didn’t use-?”
“No no, that was just me,” He explained quickly. “I had ice cream last night.”
“Without me?!” You said, clutching your chest in feign hurt, making him roll his eyes as he let out
a huff of laughter.
“I’ll add that to the list of things I need to make up for, okay?” He said.
“Eh, it’s better than where my mind went.” You said, only half joking as you grabbed the fresh
sheets from him and turned back to the bed. “Almost thought you were fucking around behind
my back for a second there.”
Facing away from him, you missed the way his expression suddenly turned serious as he
looked at you. “I would never.”
It was strange, despite the supposedly ‘casual’ nature of your arrangement, you both found
yourselves making little comments like that, words and exchanges that sounded a lot more like
things said between a committed couple, rather than just two friends helping each other out till
you found something more serious.
“Alright, I think that’s everything.” You said, snapping him out of his thoughts. You had finished
making up the bed, even turning down the covers for him.
“Thank you, y/n.” He said gratefully. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
“Probably called Hobi.” You smirked, making him snort.
“Now, you promised me food, and if you lie to me twice in the same day, I’m dumping your ass.”
You said, earning another laugh from him.
“Alright, whatever you want, just like I said.” He said, leaning down to give you a quick kiss.
“Although, if you wanted, I could make up for my false pretenses from earlier in a different way?”
He offered, eyes darkening slightly as his hands drifted over your hips
You lightly shoved his hands away. “Not a chance, Loverboy, I’m way too tired now. You’ll have
to try and ‘make it up to me’ some other time.”
“How about tomorrow?” He said, eyes twinkling mischievously, looping his arms around your
waist instead to keep you close.
“I thought your parents were coming over tomorrow?” You reminded, raising a brow at him.
“You could come over after.” He suggested. “Hell, you could even come to dinner with us, my
parents like getting to meet my friends.”
“Friends?” You looked up at him skeptically.
“Yeah, what?” He laughed, squeezing you lightly.
“Do you let your other friends suck your di-?”
“They don’t need to know the details of our relationship!” He said quickly, his face flushing
slightly, making you snicker. “You’re still my friend, one of my best friends actually.” He added, in
a soft tone.
The way he said it made your heart twist in a weird way, though you didn’t quite understand
why.
“So?” He asked, staring down at you hopefully. “Will you come?”
You chewed your lip, considering. It felt like a really big commitment to meet his family,
regardless of what your relationship was, but you tell it would mean a lot to him if you said yes.
“I’ll think about it.” You said finally.
He beamed.
“Thank you!” He said, leaning in to kiss you again, his lips lingering longer this time, tracing over
yours lightly, making you shiver.
You pressed closer to him, hooking your arms around his neck as you tilted your head to
deepen the kiss, letting your tongue delve into his mouth as his hands grip on your waist
tightened.
When you pulled back for air, his pupils were blown wide, eyes almost black as he stared down
at you, breathing heavily.
“Take your shirt off.” You ordered, your breaths equally unsteady.
“But I thought you said-?”
“I changed my mind.” You cut him off, tugging at the fabric impatiently. “Shirt off, now.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl
@bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho
@a-gayish-unicorn
#jungkook imagine#jungkook scenarios#jungkook smut#jungkook oneshot#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x reader#jungkook drabble#jungkook fluff#fwb!jungkook#bts drabble#bts one shot#bts x y/n#bts x reader#bts scenarios#bts fluff#bts requests#7ndipity
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❧ word count: 18.3k
❧ warnings: cursing, renjun gets CONSENSUALLY dosed with a magical aphrodisiac For Science
❧ genre: fluff, humor, one (1) heavy makeout scene but no actual smut, 0.1 seconds of angst if you can even call it that, academic rivals to lovers, modern magical creatures au, college au, siren reader, human renjun ft. siren ten, same universe as strawberry sunday
❧ extra info: in my lore, siren scales are visible when they’re in more human-like forms because of magic, and it’s not an indication of their skin tone at all. so when the reader’s scales are mentioned, please don’t take this as any sort of allusion to them being pale/light-skinned! i tried to take care and make sure i wasn’t implying that in how i wrote it, but please tell me if it reads like that
this work is set in the same universe as strawberry sunday but can be read as a standalone! there is no continuing plotline between fics in this universe, they simply take place in the same world/magic system and may have overlapping characters (neos may pop up in more than one work!)
❧ author’s note: y’all. get ready for this one. no spoilers but renjun and reader r both crazy and nobody should be subjected to them except each other. like they both look at the other and think “i could fix them but whatever the fuck is wrong with them is infinitely funnier to me” but they’re both Wrong. they could not fix the other. i don't want what they have but good for them. anyway as always i had way too much fun writing this that it went over my projected word count and i hope y’all have a lot of fun reading it too
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ explore the strawberry sunday universe more here!
“Would you shut up?” You sat back up, grabbing him by the hair.
“Why?”
“I’m trying to kiss you again, idiot.”
2608, 2610, 2612…
The numbers of the study rooms you passed by went up, up, up, as you continued your hunt. You knew he’d be here. It was the day before the first test in your Linguistics in Magical Creatures Studies class, meaning he was going to be holed up in the library until closing time. Now it was just a matter of finding him. Somewhere quiet, obviously, which was why you’d completely skipped the first floor with its wide-open “collaboration areas.” The second floor was all bookshelves and private study rooms that would hold four or five students at most. You peered into the narrow window on each painted metal door as you walked down the hall. While the first floor was recently renovated with new technology and upgrades such as the “collaboration areas” and bright pops of your university’s school colors that made for great promotional photos to put on the website and pamphlets to hand out to new students, this floor hadn’t had seen anything more than a janitor in a good couple decades. The musty, stale smell of old, unused books was all around you, the air conditioning hummed and clicked irregularly, all the furniture had ugly, outdated patterns, and the exactly three desktop computers they did have in a far back corner were practically as old as you. Which, in the digital age, meant that they were artifacts belonging in a museum.
And of course, sitting at very last one, as if he had been hiding behind all of these bookshelves from you personally, was Huang Renjun.
Renjun was sat in the wooden chair facing the computer, clearly deep in thought. He had one foot propped up on the wide chair seat as both of his hands were on the archaic-looking keyboard, speedily typing something out. He wore a pair of jeans, yellow hoodie, and a red backwards baseball cap kept his hair out of his face. An open energy drink can and empty bag of chips on the desk next to him belied that he had already been there for some time.
Now that you had found your target, you put on a burst of speed, stalking up to him from the side and smacking your hand down on the tabletop beside him. “Renjun.”
The human jumped in his seat, looking up from his screen to you. Taking his hands from the keyboard, he made a couple quick clicks on the mouse as he used the other to take his headphones out of his ears. “Y/N. Fucking hell… is your new strategy this semester to give me a heart attack and kill me?”
“If murder was on the table as part of our little academic rivalry, don’t you think I would’ve just drowned you after our Intro course freshman year?” You asked, tilting your head innocently. After all, you were a siren, that would be much easier than scaring him into an early cardiac episode.
Huang Renjun was not your friend. Not necessarily an acquaintance either, you’d known him for going on four years now, since your first class on your first day of college. The two of you were in the same Introduction to Magical Creatures Studies class. He had sat in the very front row, you just behind him in the second row. When your professor had asked an open question to the class, both you and Renjun eagerly blurted out the answer, Renjun just a millisecond before you. Dr. Li gave him the credit, and also requested that you two raise your hands in the future. And from then on you hated Huang Renjun.
Well, hate may be a strong word. You overlapped in at least two classes every semester being in the same major, and were both chronic overachievers. The first to raise your hands when a question was asked, studying in the library until closing (separately), and visiting professors’ office hours just to discuss topics from class further. Your professors noticed this. Some would pit the two of you against each other, and others would try to pair you up, whether on projects, research, or just in general, as a meeting of the minds or whatever. And you two would get your project done, pocket your As, and part ways again. Academic rival slash frenemy was the best way you could describe who Huang Renjun was to you.
“Who knows, you might still, if they ask me to carry the banner,” he muttered, picking his pen up and spinning it between his fingers.
This was your last semester, both you and Renjun were graduating in just a few months. At commencement, each department picked one “outstanding student” to lead the progression, carrying a flag with the department’s name and seal on it. This semester it was Magical Creatures Studies’ turn to select a student for the College of Humanities and Social Sciences, and your program head had already heavily implied that they could choose either you or Renjun, but they hadn’t made their final decision yet.
This was actually a pretty good segue into what you were really here to talk to him about. Pulling your lips into an alluring smirk, you nodded, “You’re right. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to figure out that—”
“A fucking what?” He cut you off, his face scrunching up as he blinked at you in confusion.
“Obviously it’s going to be one of us two, since we’re the two best students in the program.”
“Well, yes.” He nodded, seeming to let go of what had presumably been another one of your jumbled human malaphors. You admittedly hadn’t been living among humans for terribly long, and for some reason their idioms just didn’t stick in your brain very well.
“I mean, we not only are dedicated to the field itself and the content we study in class, but the program too. We probably know everybody in it, professors and students, right? Between the two of us?”
Renjun considered this for a moment. “Yeah, probably. We’ve both taken on a lot of SI and tutor opportunities for lower-level classes.”
“Right. So, you know those forums the school has on the online class platform? The general message boards?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I’m going to need you to sit tight with me on this until I finish talking, okay?” You pointed at him sternly. He nodded slowly. “Good. Back in the fall, about the end of September, I was on the message boards, just browsing around killing time. I was in the Tips & Advice section and saw this post. It was a gryphon who was losing feathers on one specific spot on her wing, and she didn’t know why. The witch she went to didn’t know why, nobody could figure it out. I was about to reply asking if it was her left or right, when I saw that somebody else already had. It was her left, and she’s a lefty. The same person replied again, asking if she sleeps with her wings out or not. She sleeps with them out. It turns out she was stress-preening in her sleep. Username: dr_magic2303. A couple weeks later, same message board, Tips & Advice, a human is suddenly producing dark purple goop from his feet but it’s so slippery he can’t even leave to go see a doctor or a witch and he was typing the post from his bathroom. Within an hour, this Dr. Magic is back telling him someone’s put an aether ooze hex on him, and to sit down and scoot on his butt to the kitchen and gather up all these ingredients for a cleansing foot bath. And if he doesn’t have them, then he’ll have to butt-scoot his way to an apothecary or call one who does home deliveries. Now people are posting on there specifically asking Dr. Magic to come heal all their magical aches and pains.”
Renjun stared at you, unblinking. The pen had gone still in his hand.
You breathed in, continuing, “I tracked this Dr. Magic all the way back to their first post in the first week of fall semester of this year. Now, I’ve been trying to figure out who they are on my own, and I’ve made a lot of progress on who they aren’t. But I’m going to lose access to those message boards once we graduate at the end of the semester. I know Dr. Magic has to be an MCS major, there’s no way they would be able to have to breadth, depth, and flexibility of knowledge by just Googling this stuff. And you and me, Renjun, I know we can do this. Not only do we know MCS, but we know the department, the people in it. It has to be us.”
He was still staring at you, mouth slightly agape. Then, his whole demeanor shifted. He dropped his leg so that both his feet were on the ground, and he resumed spinning the pen.
“Okay. I’ll help you.” He nodded thoughtfully. “If you’ll do something for me.”
“Do what?” You straightened up.
“I’ll tell you after we find Dr. Magic.”
You crossed your arms. “No, tell me now or no deal.”
“I tell you after, but you can still say no then if you don’t want to do it.” He bargained.
“That just sounds even more concerning, Renjun. Tell me now or I’ll do it myself.”
“I’m hurt. What happened to ‘it has to be us?’”
“I’m a siren, I know how to sweet talk. Don’t take it personally.” You snorted. “Now, what do you want from me?”
“You’re a siren,” he echoed plainly, as if that were all the explanation you needed.
“And you’re a genius.” You retorted. “Tell me now or I walk out.”
“I... want to experience siren venom. For science.”
Oh, you could kiss him right now, no deal necessary. He was meeting your gaze head-on, a slightly unhinged glint in his eye. Not a hint of fear, just a craving for new experiences, unbridled curiosity. Yeah, he was a bit crazy, you were realizing four years on, and you wanted him.
“You’re insane.”
He leaned back in his seat, putting his hands up in front of him in an ‘I-don’t-care’ gesture, “If you don’t want to find Dr. Magic—”
“I didn’t say no, I said you’re insane,” you corrected him with a grin, dragging your eyes up and down his form as he sat so confidently, negotiating with a siren like it was any average Tuesday for him.
“So do we have a deal?” He set his pen down and held a hand out to you.
“You help me find Dr. Magic, then I’ll spit in your mouth.” You momentarily thought about the disparity in division of labor on that, but decided not to point it out aloud. Easiest handshake of your life. “Deal.”
You wanted to eat him alive.
“You’ve tried IP tracking?” Renjun asked, scrolling through your word document of notes that you’d accumulated on Dr. Magic.
“‘You’ve tried IP tracking?’” You mimicked him under your breath, making your voice so high-pitched to the point of mocking.
He rolled his eyes.
This was your first meet-up to try to hunt down Dr. Magic together. It was a couple weeks after he had agreed to help you in the first place. There was a test and some assignments in a few of your classes to get through first before either of you had enough spare time to dedicate to this. But now the two of you were back in the library, having taken a study room on the second floor and set up with your own laptops. You’d sent him your notes to look through on it while you perused the message board for any new posts from Dr. Magic.
“You do know that any geographical location an IP address can give you will just be the city, right? It’s not like the movies,” you snorted, dropping your voice back down to your normal intonation as you shook your head. “Anyway, I did do some extra legwork with the IPs, and matched most of them to desktop computers here in the library. I think the others are a personal device, their laptop or something.”
“They’re all different.”
You tutted at him, “Oh, you sweet Thursday’s child…”
“That’s not the say—”
“They’re all somehow on other continents. Now, I don’t think Dr. Magic teleporting abroad and cross-dimensionally to make forum posts.”
“VPN?”
“Definitely. They’re covering their tracks, they almost never use their own device, and when they have to, they use a VPN to cover up the IP address of it.”
He made a noise of acknowledgement, eyes still focused on his screen.
Then, something on the forum caught your eye. “Oh! Right here. Thirty-six minutes ago, a dryad posted that she can’t sprout daffodils from her body anymore. Every other plant and flower are fine, except daffodils. She posted it specifically asking Dr. Magic if they know what’s wrong with her.”
“Huh.” Renjun’s brow furrowed. “Just daffodils?”
“That’s what it says,” you confirmed, making a few clicks on your computer. “And… ‘notify me.’”
“You can turn on notifications for forum posts?”
“You can’t,” you informed him smugly. “But one of the sirens in my pod, he’s got a bunch of CompSci friends who I paid to write a browser extension for me that bookmarks forum posts and sends me email notifications when anybody replies to them. So I’ll know exactly when Dr. Magic responds.”
“You…”
“Have definitely spent too much time, energy, and money on this, I know. Sunken cost fallacy, look it up.”
“I was going to say ‘are insane,’” he breathed out, his voice a mixture of awe and disbelief.
When you looked up from your computer at him, you saw that he had a curious gaze fixated on you, eyes narrowed slightly, mouth parted, and head tilted ever so slightly to the side.
You leaned forward minutely, holding his eye contact. “Takes one to know one, Junnie.”
He looked down at his keyboard, shifting in his seat before he looked back up at you. “Why are you calling me that?”
“Do you not like it?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“So you do like it.” You smirked.
He frowned. “I didn’t say that either.”
“Well do you?”
“Answer my question.”
“Answer mine.”
“I asked first.”
“Ooh, how very primary school,” you teased, setting your chin in your hand.
“It’s only fair.” He pointed out.
“We could flip a coin.”
“Y/N.”
“Junnie.”
The human sighed, holding your eye contact wordlessly, looking entirely unamused.
You finally gave in with a casual shrug. “I just am.”
“Seriously? We’ve known each other for four years and you’ve never called me that—you’ve called me plenty of other things—but now suddenly you’ve got a nickname for me?”
“I’m not trying to be derogatory with it, if you’re worried about that,” you clarified. “Just sort of happened. I’m a siren, I flirt with cute people, sorry. Do you want me to stop calling you that?”
He ran his fingers through his hair, pushing some off his face as he turned his focus back down to his screen. “It’s fine.”
“Anyway, I bookmarked the new forum post, so it’ll go on the board.”
“The board?”
“I, uh, I may be using a spare wall in my apartment to host a conspiracy theory board with you know, the red string and thumbtacks and stuff…” You admitted quietly.
“Can I see it?”
“Ho-ly shit,” Renjun breathed out, staring up at the multiple time-stamped printouts of forum posts, pictures of classmates and faculty, sticky notes, and yards of red string that you had pinned to a blank wall in your apartment.
You stood next to him, gazing up at your creation with a strange mixture of pride and embarrassment. This was the first time you’d let someone see this, and you were kind of glad it was Renjun. He actually seemed impressed. You were sure that any of your friends and family would be weirded out at best, and very concerned at worst.
“Yeah, I’m adding color copies off the school printers to the invoice I’m sending Dr. Magic at the end of all this.”
“You’re sending them an invoice for your self-assigned mission to hunt them down?” He snorted.
“Yup. It’s their fault for not using their school-issued login.” You crossed your arms. “Makes them enigmatic.”
Your classmate pointed to one of the headshots. “Is that Dr. Li?”
“Did you think our scope was narrowed to just students? Faculty have access to the message boards, too. And we’ve learned everything we know from our professors, so they obviously have the knowledge and skill to be Dr. Magic.”
“And their names also start with Doctor.” He added dryly, which you took to be a joke.
You decided that it wasn’t at your expense, though, and after giving a short chuckle, continued on with your explanation of why you specifically had your program head up on the board. “When I was grilling Dr. Li for information in the fall, he was giving me very duplicitous answers. Pointed me towards a freshman who I swear didn’t even know the difference between Arctic sirens and glacial sirens.”
“You think it was a diversion.”
“Obviously.”
Renjun tapped his chin thoughtfully. “What sort of questions were you asking him?”
“I couldn’t straight up ask him if he was Dr. Magic. So I was asking him things like... other than you and me, who did he think was the best student in the program, that kind of stuff. Said that kid reminded him of you and me on that first day of Intro to MCS.” You couldn’t help but let out an indignant scoff at the idea. “Can you believe? Didn’t know the difference between Arctic and glacial sirens…”
“Who was it?”
“Some basilisk in one of his Intro classes last semester. Uh…” You snapped your fingers as you tried to remember his name. “Seunghan! Hong Seunghan!”
“Seriously?” The human turned to look at you incredulously, clearly offended at the comparison as well.
“Seriously!”
He clutched at his chest like he was about to have a heart attack. “That’s who he thinks is the next us? I was an SI for that class…”
“I know! He’s not the brightest tool in the shed, huh?”
“So close, Y/N. So close…” He sighed.
“It almost completely threw me off my search for Dr. Magic. I figured I needed to seriously step up my game in his undergrad research or something.” You shook your head at the horrible memory. “Then I realized he might have been trying to get me to do exactly that.”
“Huh.” Renjun folded his arms over his chest as he looked away, pretending not to seem interested. “You did research with Dr. Li last semester?”
“Don’t give me those kicked puppy dog eyes, you’re doing research with Dr. Kwon this semester and she’s like, my academic idol!” You pointed at him accusatorily.
“And Dr. Li is mine!”
You waved your arms in front of you, shaking yourself out of the academic envy-induced frenzy you’d gotten worked up into. “We’re getting off-topic. We’re here to catch Dr. Magic, remember?”
“Right…” He took a deep breath, turning back to the conspiracy wall.
As Renjun studied your work, you studied him. You had a strand of fairy lights clipped up above the conspiracy wall for light and ambiance (mostly ambiance), and they now lit his features from the front. He didn’t have a baseball cap on today, leaving his brown hair to fall over his forehead, down past his eyebrows and just into his eyes. He blinked and shook his head slightly. A piece had presumably been bothering him. The curving slope of the bridge of his nose, his lips, his chin that he still had one hand propped up to hold, a finger tapping against his cupid’s bow like a metronome. You listened closer, curious if it would be mimicking the beat of his heart. The tapping was just slightly slower than his heart, and would stop if he found something that he took particular interest in, then start back up when he moved on again.
Not that you were going to tell him, but you were double motivated to find Dr. Magic now. Seeing Renjun under your venom was going to be a reward all on its own. You understood full well why he felt like he needed to ask you as part of an exchange like this, but he seemed to greatly underestimate his own selling value. Which was good for you. This was a win-win-win in your eyes.
Thinking of the deal made you curious, though. He had that request ready to go almost like…
“So, do you want to be petrified by a basilisk, too?”
Renjun didn’t take his eyes off the wall. “Already have been.”
“Really?”
“My friend Mark is a basilisk. When he had just gotten his powers a couple years ago and couldn’t control them, he kept accidentally petrifying his human roommate. So I figured out when it was most likely to happen, invited myself over and hid his sunglasses. It was strange, being able to think but not speak, see but not blink, and telling my muscles to move and not having them obey.” He casually detailed what sounded like one of the most horrifying experiences ever to you, leaning in towards a specific post from November. “But it only lasted one minute and twenty-nine seconds.”
You stared at him with both admiration and alarm. “You manufactured an opportunity to get petrified.”
“I knew he wouldn’t do it if I asked. He’s a wimp. That, and he couldn’t do it on command at the time, even if he did agree.”
“Have you had your blood drank?”
“Yup.”
“Been flying?”
“How so?” His eyes flicked over to you for a second, and you were glad that you had relaxed again with the more casual conversation.
“With a gryphon, phoenix, take your pick.” You shrugged.
“Uh-huh.”
“Do you have a list for this stuff or something?”
“Written down, no. But I suppose I have a mental list.”
“Poisoned by a wyvern?”
“Would have to find one first.”
You felt your eyes bug out of your head. “You want to be poisoned by a wyvern? You know there’s no cure for that, right?”
“Yes, I took the same class that you did on them last spring.” He reminded you tersely. Your head jerked back minutely, surprised for a second that he had noticed, remembered, and brought it up. The two of you didn’t have a spat in that class, taking an ‘ignore and pretend the other doesn’t exist’ approach that semester when you could, and hadn’t mentioned it since. Seeming to realize what he’d done, Renjun rushed to move on, “So I also know that there’s no cure because they went extinct hundreds of years ago.”
“Supposedly.”
“You think they’re still out there?”
“Maybe.”
“Hm.” He stepped to the side to read over the next post from the first week of December.
You scoffed. “Okay, coming from the guy who believes in aliens.”
“We haven’t explored all of space. But we know what habitats wyverns lived in, and they’re not there anymore.”
“They could’ve adapted, gone somewhere else,” you tried to argue. “I’m not exactly splashing around the ocean right now, am I?”
“Where did they go, then?”
“I... I don’t know,” you admitted, holding yourself by your arms protectively.
“Hmph.”
You tightened your grip, swallowing hard against the lump threatening to grow in your throat. “I just don’t want to believe they’re gone, okay?”
“So this isn’t a scientific hypothesis, but some rosy daydream?” Renjun’s disapproval of the lack of academic rigor in your argument was clear in his tone as his eyes never left your wall, following a red string up to your next connection for Dr. Magic.
“I don’t want to believe that wyverns went extinct because that means that sirens could too! Alright?” You finally snapped, hands squeezing tightly around your biceps as your claws came out with the raw burst of emotion. “I know that Magical Conservation was just some class to you, but I had to sit there and take notes on how exactly the native habitats of sirens—me, my friends, my family—are shrinking, and could theoretically lead to our extinction, and then write a discussion post on it after like it was some intellectually stimulating bit of information. So yeah, maybe I like to imagine that there’s still wyverns out there somewhere, because it gives me a modicum of hope that after everything, there could still be sirens, too. Sorry that that’s not academic enough.”
The image of Renjun that you had been yelling at in front of you was wavering as tears swam in your vision. He’d turned around to listen, mouth parting as he seemed to immediately realize his mistake. The human nodded regretfully, running a hand through his hair before finally picking his words.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to be so dismissive. I-I misread the tone of the discussion. Sirens aren’t wyverns, and you won’t meet the same fate they might have. Siren advocacy and conservation groups are making huge progress. The world now is a lot different than it was hundreds of years ago,” Renjun said, and you could hear both the remorse and firm belief in his tone. “And who knows, maybe there are still some wyverns out there. I could be wrong... it’s been known to happen before.”
You took a deep breath, your claws receding back into your fingers and just leaving your normal fingernails. As you looked down at your arms, though, you let out a sigh.
“Damn, I got myself.” You clicked your tongue in your throat regretfully, spotting a few drops of what looked like molten silver metal welling to the surface where you’d punctured your skin.
“Ooh,” Renjun winced sympathetically. “Do you have some… bandages?”
“Even better, I’ve got running water.” You started towards the door, then noted that there were no footsteps behind you. Turning back around, you looked at the human knowingly. “Do you want to watch, Renjun?”
He perked up. “Please?”
“Come on,” you jerked your head, holding your arms level as you shuffled towards your kitchen.
Thankfully, you hadn’t been nearly deep enough to get your scales, just the skin overtop. Turning the kitchen faucet on, you grabbed one of your sleeves, then looked at your classmate imploringly.
“A little help, Junnie?” You nodded towards your other arm, where the end of your sleeve was getting close to your blood.
“Oh, sure.” He surged forward to help you roll up the other one.
“I know you know this but be careful not to touch my blood,” you reminded him, finally pulling up the sleeve you’d started on well enough. Siren blood was a neurotoxin to humans—and not the fun kind like your venom, but a proper ‘kill you in an excruciatingly painful way’ kind.
“Uh-huh, got it.”
A couple drops on your left and a drop on your right had run down to your elbows, and you just managed to catch yourself so that they dripped into the sink and not onto your counter (or gods forbid, Renjun). Looking over to make sure he was watching, you stuck your left bicep under the stream of water first. The ocean blue scales that peeked through your skin shimmered in the kitchen lights directly above your head. Thankfully you hadn’t come anywhere close to nicking one of those. That would’ve actually hurt. Within a second of touching the water your skin had meshed itself back together. You turned your arm to rinse off the blood, then brought it back out to show that there was no scar left. Doing the same with the other, it healed just as quick, no mark left behind to indicate that anything had ever happened.
“Yep…” Renjun breathed out as you grabbed a hand towel and went to dry off your arms. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that.”
“How many does that make?” You giggled.
“What?”
“How many creatures have you seen magically heal themselves? What number am I?”
“You make me sound so…”
“Like a common MCS whore?”
“I was going to say clinical, but damn, tell me how you really feel, Y/N.”
Both of you laughed, and you put the hand towel back.
“You’re the first siren,” Renjun answered your question genuinely anyway.
You hummed as you mulled this over. “I’ll take it.”
He made a dramatic motion of wiping sweat off his forehead, and you reached forward to smack his forearm. You two laughed again.
After a bout of comfortable silence, your eyes settled on him again, still thinking about exactly how you’d accidentally stabbed yourself in the first place.
“I forgive you, by the way,” you said. “I don’t think I said that.”
“You didn’t.” He nodded. “Thank you.”
“You really mean all that? You think I’ll—we’ll be okay? Sirens?”
“Of course I mean it. Or I wouldn’t have said it. It’s the most scientifically plausible. I did take that Magical Conservation class seriously, you know. I know it couldn’t have meant the same thing for me as it means to you, but I did my final paper on siren conservation projects in the Arctic. The progress that’s being made there is incredible. I-I don’t want to tell you about your own species’ problems, obviously, but—”
“I did mine on siren conservation in the tropics.” You let out a dry chuckle at the flawless symbiosis. “You can tell me about your paper sometime, Renjun.”
“And I’d love to hear about siren conservation in the tropics.”
“Ah, ‘a meeting of the minds.’” You did your best impression of Dr. Li, thinning your voice out to sound like an elderly man, which garnered a smile from Renjun. “Isn’t this what our professors always wanted?”
“Uh-oh. We’re giving them exactly what they want.” He shook his head ruefully. “Quick, you need to start yelling at me about something.”
“Well you need to say something obnoxious first.”
Another gentle lull in the conversation, and you watched as Renjun looked around your apartment a lot more carefully than when you two had first entered. Your destination then had been solely the conspiracy wall, but now he seemed to be really taking it in.
“So why don’t you have like… a fish tank or something?” He asked.
“Because that would be cruel! Imagine if someone kept you in a 2-foot by 2-foot box!” You jabbed a finger into his chest accusatorily.
He held his hands up in surrender. “You’re right. That was a stupid question.”
“I’m glad you said it, because I was about to.”
“So why don’t you reply? To the posts.” Renjun asked curiously, back to trolling the message boards for new Dr. Magic posts. You two were holed up in your second floor study room again. “You’ve been tracking Dr. Magic so closely, you’re getting to these posts before they do, and you can help all these students, too. So why don’t you just reply instead?”
Yours and Renjun’s search for Dr. Magic had been going on for a month now, and he’d been proving himself useful. He’d finally convinced you to rule out Dr. Li as a suspect when he found a message board post made from a school computer while Dr. Li was away at a conference giving a presentation. Confirmed to be done at the exact same time. So you’d found another wrong person, but you still didn’t feel any closer to the right person. The remaining people felt like they were going to turn out to be dead ends, and there was nobody good to rule in either.
Spring break was coming up in a few weeks, which meant that commencement preparations would be starting, which meant that the colleges would be announcing who would be chosen to carry their banners, which meant the actual students who were going to be chosen would be told at least a week or two ahead of time. Every time you thought about that you wanted to bite something. Maybe there was some ancestral link between sirens and werewolves. Another paper waiting to be written.
“They don’t want me. They want Dr. Magic.” You told Renjun, hating the irritable edge in your voice when you addressed him. You weren’t upset with him, you were just anxious in general. He didn’t deserve to have you take it out on him.
“Right. Sorry…”
“No, Renjun, I’m sorry,” you sighed, taking the wood pencil out of your mouth that you had been gnawing on. “I just want to get this Dr. Magic stuff over with before midterms because you and I are both going to get super busy studying for midterms, and then no matter which one of us gets picked to carry the banner, that’s going to suck up a lot of time preparing for commencement too. I shouldn’t have snapped at you though, sorry.”
He offered you a small smile. “It’s okay, I get it. It’s another deadline. But it’s a group project, remember? We’ve got this, Y/N.”
You nodded. “Yeah, I know. Just feeling the pressure. I’m going to get something from the vending machine. You coming?”
“No, I’ll keep chugging along.”
“Okay. You want anything?”
“Nah. Thanks, though.”
“Alright,” you nodded, standing up and rolling your neck out. “I’m going to stretch my legs while I’m up, so I’ll be a few.”
“I won’t sound the alarm then.” He gave you a two-fingered salute as you headed to the door.
You meandered around the second floor, taking your sweet time to get to the stairs. There was a vending machine on the second floor, but it had a limited selection. The good snacks were all in the vending machines on the first floor, by the collaboration zones. Your back cracked all on its own as you plodded down the steps, and you let quiet groans with each one, until you finally landed on the first floor. There was a noticeable hum to the first floor, which only increased as you neared the two-thirds of the floor that was taken up by the collaboration zones. The vending machines were on the boundary of the bookshelves and the open spaces filled with tables and TV monitors and so many students.
Stopping in front of the drinks machine first, you mused over the options for a moment. Picking out your preferred seaweed-infused iced tea—an option you only saw sirens and the really hardcore human health-nuts drink—you then sidestepped to the snacks. It took you just a second to select a pack of mini peanut butter sandwich cookies. Neither peanut butter nor peanuts themselves were in the regular diet of a siren, but Renjun sometimes had the cookies on him for one of his werewolf friends and you’d picked up a taste for them. You would’ve never considered even trying them before hanging out with Renjun. Being an MCS major, you didn’t like to admit it, but your social circle wasn’t very diverse species-wise. You had your siren pod, and you were very happy sticking with them, thank you. Renjun, meanwhile, seemed to be best friends or friendly acquaintances with everything except a wyvern. You knew plenty about other species, after all, you excelled in class. But practical experience, you were finding you seemed to be lacking in. Maybe you should start your own Renjun-esque bucket list. Something to consider after finding Dr. Magic.
Taking a step back over to the drinks machine, you made the split-second decision to get Renjun’s favorite non-caffeinated, non-alcoholic drink. Honeydew melon soda. He had already said that you didn’t need to get him anything, but you wanted to.
“Hey, Y/N!” A cheerful voice greeted you, and you spun around, your two drinks and bag of sandwich cookies in hand.
You already knew who it was going to be, smiling at the familiar face of Ten. He was not only another siren, but specifically a siren from your pod, ocean blue scales and golden eyes matching your own. You threw your arms around his neck to give him a hug. “Ten! Ah, hey!”
“Are those… peanut butter?” He looked at the snack in your hand suspiciously.
“Uh, human study buddy,” you brushed off his concerns nonchalantly.
“Right, gotcha.”
The two of you usually hung out a lot—about as much as you and Renjun were together now, you figured—but since your spare time had been taken up with putting the search for Dr. Magic on full throttle, you were blanking on the last time you’d seen him. The beginning of the semester. Oh shit, you felt so guilty now.
The apology immediately started spilling out of your mouth, “Gods, I am so sorry we haven’t hung out, I wish I could say it was classes, or even research or something, but I’ve got this project. I can’t even really explain it without sounding crazy but—”
“Woah, Y/N, it’s okay,” Ten reassured you with a laugh, the same bright smile on his face as always. “I know how you get when you get really into one of your projects. Just let me know when you’ve finished it, and we can hang. Or if you ever need a break from it, too. It’s fine. If you weren’t a little crazy and obsessive, I wouldn’t be able to recognize you.”
He ruffled your hair with a snicker for good measure, and with your hands full of food, you couldn’t fight back, just huff and try to duck out of the way. But he was genuine about his sentiments, which really did make you feel better.
“Thanks, Ten. I’ll get in touch soon, I promise. I think I’m almost done!” You told him proudly.
“Soon in normal person time or soon in Y/N time?”
“Me time…”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll see you in six months then.”
“I’m not that bad!”
“Remember when I wondered aloud if sirens at the North and South poles were related, and you ended up spending our entire winter break researching that?”
“It only took four weeks!”
“You said it would be a quick search.”
“Exactly! People will dedicate their entire lives to that kind of research! I vastly condensed it!”
He shook his head fondly at the memory, elbowing you gently. “Get back to your project so you can finish early again and we can hang out soon, okay? And scoot, I’m trying to use the vending machine. You’re always in my way, I swear.”
You playfully pretended to block him, laughing as he nudged you out of the way with his shoulder. Starting back off towards the stairs, you turned around to give a cheery, “See you, Ten!”
“Bye, Y/N!” He waved to you with one hand, punching in the vending machine code with the other.
In better spirits having seen your friend, you traipsed up the stairs with extra pep in your step. Except Renjun wasn’t in your study room. Huh. Well, nothing in the rules saying a guy can’t take a bathroom break.
Setting his melon soda down next to his laptop, you plopped back down in your chair and kicked your feet up on the table. You ripped open your peanut butter sandwich cookies and cracked open your tea. The cookies were sweet, and while you didn’t have any oceanic reference for what peanut butter tasted like (you were told that “nutty” was a flavor profile unto itself, which wasn’t very helpful), you had decided that you liked it.
Waking your laptop back up, you saw that you had a new email, and shot up in your seat when you saw the subject.
dr_magic2303 replied to a post.
8 minutes ago.
Holy fucking shit, 8 minutes ago. While you were in the library? They could still be there. You looked around frantically. Where the fuck was Renjun when you needed him? Shooting to your feet, you snatched your phone from the table and rushed to throw the door open. Into Renjun’s face.
He stumbled back, holding his face as he let out a string of curses.
“Shit! Sorry, Junnie!” You didn’t sound all too sorry as you bounced on your feet, antsy to get a move on with your search. “No time for an ice pack though. Dr. Magic just replied to that dragon post we had bookmarked eight minutes ago. Which means that they’re probably still in the library! We need to go look for them right now!”
You took off in the direction of the desktop computers on this floor, keeping your voice at a fervent whisper-yell. The second floor computers were their favorite, according to the IPs.
“I know!” Renjun hurried after you, still clutching his nose. “I saw the email, and I tried to call you, but you left your phone in the study room.”
Checking your phone, you did in fact have a missed call from Renjun from 6 minutes ago. Well shit.
“So I went to go get you, but you weren’t at the vending machines, so I came back up to the study room and then nearly got my nose broken.”
You looked over your shoulder at him with wide eyes. “You went to get me? Not look for Dr. Magic on the freshest lead we’ve ever had? When they were quite possibly around the corner?”
The two of you had arrived at the desktops, and there was nobody in sight. One was awake, on the account login screen, the other two asleep on the ancient screensavers. You let out a heavy sigh, looking over at Renjun.
“I went to get you because this is your thing, not mine. I don’t know, I’d figured you’d want the satisfaction of taking the mask off them.”
You nodded. “Thanks, Junnie. Next time, though, just get them.”
“And how about you keep your phone on you?”
“So we both fucked it up.”
He gave you a one-shouldered shrug. “There’s still three more floors, Y/N.”
“Right, come on. You take the first, I’ll go up to the fourth since I smacked you with the door.”
The other floors were busts, and when you finally met back up with Renjun in your study room, you were glad to have your cold bottle of tea waiting for you. Knocking back a third of it in one go, you let out a noise of relief. Renjun had already opened the soda you’d gotten him.
“Thanks, by the way.” He held it up gratefully before taking a sip.
“You’re welcome.”
“And, I’m sorry. That I let Dr. Magic get away.”
“We don’t even know what floor they were posting from yet. They’ve could’ve been on the fourth floor and would’ve been gone by the time you got there anyway.” You brushed away his apologies. “Or they could’ve been on the second and been a psycho and you would’ve been a poor defenseless human all by yourself.”
“Oh, right, without my big strong siren to protect me.” He scoffed. “Woe is me.”
“Exactly,” you laughed, shutting your laptop. “Anyway, I’ll take a look at the IP later. Who knows, they might not have even been in the library. Might’ve been one of those rogue VPN posts.”
“Yeah, maybe.” He looked over you packing up your things. “You heading out?”
You nodded, zipping up your bag and tossing it onto your shoulder. “Prior arrangements. Sorry to cut this short, completely forgot about it when we agreed to meet up.”
“You’re so popular.”
“I know!” You mimicked his sarcastic tone, holding the door open with your foot as you stopped in the threshold. “Oh, hey— the midterm in MCS Linguistics. It’s my only one this semester, I’ve just got papers in all my other classes. Do you want to study together for that?”
“Yeah, sure, sure.”
“First session Saturday? My place for lunch?”
Renjun grimaced, presumably remembering your typical stock of pantry items tailored to a siren’s food preference. “I’ll pack a lunch.”
“Cool. See you in class, Junnie!” You waved to him cheerily as you took off for the faculty advisor meeting with Dr. Kwon that you were going to need to run across campus to be on time for.
“What is it?” Renjun set his book down where he was sat across your coffee table from you, an inquisitive eyebrow quirked up at you.
“What? Nothing.” You bit down on your lip, eyes boring holes into your computer screen.
“No, it’s not ‘nothing.’ You’ve been staring at me ever since I got here, while also refusing to make eye contact with me. What? Something in my teeth? My hair look bad?”
Normally that would’ve made you chuckle—he was wearing a backwards baseball cap again today—but you just bit down harder on your lip and shook your head.
“Now you’re refusing to talk?” He scoffed. “Did you get hexed or something? I can’t believe you’re refusing to talk.”
“No, I can talk,” you insisted. “What uh, what’d you get for number four? On the review packet?”
“Don’t tell me you’re still stuck on number four. Y/N, I’m almost done, and there’s twenty-five questions on this.”
“I’m not, I finished and went back, it was just one that I didn’t—”
But Renjun had grabbed your computer and turned the screen around, and you knew he could see that you had only done the first one. You buried your face in your hands, your skin prickling uncomfortably with shame. Your friend’s sigh was audible, but surprisingly, the next thing said wasn’t a string of derision. Instead, you heard the shuffle of clothes against your rug, and then he was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder and knee-to-knee with you.
“Y/N, what’s going on with you today? Or, not today, the past couple days? You weren’t all there in class yesterday either. I left it alone then because it was Dr. Hyun, and nobody is ever all there for her classes but— what’s wrong?”
You slowly shook your head.
“You can’t tell me?”
You nodded.
“Okay. Is it bad? Like, dangerous?”
You shook your head.
“Alright, that’s good.” The relief was audible in his voice. “Is it family? Or, pod?”
You shook your head.
“School?”
You nodded.
“Alright, yeah. A lot going on. Is it like burn out?”
You shook your head.
“So, new stuff?”
You nodded.
He put an arm around your shoulders. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I know you already had a lot. Getting this midterm over with will be one more thing off your checklist, right? That’ll open a spot for this new thing.”
With a sniffle, you nodded.
“Ah, but you’re not going to be any good studying like this.” He sighed again, dropping his arm from around your shoulders and his presence shifted away from your side. “Come on, quick field trip. Then we’ll come right back to the MCS Linguistics grind. Sound good?”
You finally took your hands from your face to look up. Renjun was standing right next to you, offering you a hand. You tentatively put yours in his, and he tightened his grip to pull you up to your feet.
The two of you ended up in a froyo shop down the street from your apartment. You gleefully picked a gummy shark off the top of your swirl, biting the head off first before tossing the rest in your mouth. Renjun lifted a meticulously curated spoonful of froyo and toppings to his mouth, satisfaction on his face as he tasted his perfect bite. You watched in amusement as he went to start creating his next scoop that had the precise ratio of yogurt and every single topping he had chosen—each partitioned to their own area atop the froyo. You decided to save your second big gummy shark for last, and took a big spoonful from the melting edge of your froyo.
“Why not me?” Renjun asked abruptly, his gaze still on the dessert in front of him.
“Huh?” Your jaw dropped. How could he have known what—
“You haven’t asked me if I’m Dr. Magic. Why not?”
Ah, Dr. Magic. Of course.
“You were my first guess, and the first person I ruled out back in like September,” you admitted with a shrug.
His head snapped up at that. “What? Why?”
“Because you’re such an arrogant, neurotic overachiever that you’d want credit if you did all this. You wouldn’t use an alias.”
“Oh. Huh.” Renjun looked between you and his froyo, a sheepish smile coming to his face. “Strangely, that makes me feel better.”
You watched a dollop of froyo fall off your spoon and plop back into your cup. “And I nabbed your IP address off your laptop the first time we hung out in January and double-checked it with every Dr. Magic post. Just in case.”
“When I was in the bathroom?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Of course you did.”
“Were you taking it as an insult to your intelligence that I had apparently not considered you as an option?”
“Maybe…”
You laughed, and laughed, and laughed. You laughed so hard your sides hurt, there were tears in your eyes, and you genuinely started wheezing. Renjun pretended to roll his eyes, but you saw the smile on his face and knew what he was thinking: success, no more mopey siren.
Once you had enough air back in your lungs to talk, you pointed your spoon at him firmly. “See? Just proving my point. You want people to know you’re smart.”
He crossed his arms. “As if you don’t.”
“Oh, I definitely do. But I know I’m like that.” You put a hand over your chest, looking him dead in the eye. “Do you?”
With your head screwed back on the normal amount, you and Renjun were able to dive back into your study session at your apartment. Several hours into it, though, you noticed Renjun blinking like way too much and constantly rubbing at his eyes. It was to the point where it was distracting for you.
“What’s wrong with your eyes?” You asked bluntly.
That immediately burst the Renjun griping dam (which was really held together with tape and prayers anyway). “The screens hurt my eyes and human blue light glasses don’t do shit and no fairy has let me try theirs out. I know I should probably just take the plunge and buy them but I really can’t justify the price and—”
“Try mine.” You stood up, walking over to a display shelf on the other side of the living room.
“You have a pair? Why? Sirens don’t—”
“You collect magical experiences. I collect magical things.” You said nonchalantly, grabbing the pair of silver frames from where they sat between a phoenix feather (a gift) and a small wristwatch that would tell the correct time until it was put on, then it would be set on the time and date most significant to the wearer in that moment until it was removed. Walking back over to him, you held them out to him insistently, “Here, try them.”
“Oh. Thanks.” Renjun gingerly took them, sliding the arms over his ears and the frames onto the bridge of his nose. The pair you had was a little older, admittedly. You’d picked them up at a novelty shop, so they had some retro charm to them. An older style of frame, thicker lenses. But you thought it added a quaintness to their look. Especially on Renjun, he just looked downright adorable in them.
You sat back down to watch with your head in your hand as his brown eyes blinked from behind the thick lenses, and he looked around your living room like a newborn woodland animal. His face had already relaxed, and he turned his focus down to his laptop screen next, messing with the brightness up, then down. After that, he took out his phone, doing the same with that device.
“Well?” You prompted him, though you truly would’ve been content with watching him look around as if he’d been born colorblind and it were his first time seeing in color. Which, you had an enchanted pair for that too, but he wasn’t colorblind to your knowledge.
The human looked at you, a giddy smile stretching across his face. “They’re perfect! Thanks, Y/N!”
His hand reached up to take them off, but you stopped him.
“Keep them—”
“No, these had to be so expensive!” He protested immediately.
“Just for a week or so,” you finished your sentence pointedly. He was cute, but not that cute. “Make sure you really like them before you buy, okay? If you end up hating them, give them back. If you like them and buy your own pair, you can give them back whenever yours arrive in the mail.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’s not like I’m using them. Superior siren eyesight.” You tapped next to one of your eyes for emphasis.
“Thanks for not rubbing it in or anything.”
Scrambling to dial Renjun’s number, you put your phone on speaker as you fervently flicked through all of your Dr. Magic notes. You’d been laying in bed binging some mindless baking competition to numb your brain from all the studying you’d been doing when an email notification had popped up alerting you to a new Dr. Magic post.
“Y/N?” Renjun answered the phone, sounding utterly confused. “What’s—”
“New Dr. Magic post. I ran the IP and they’re in our city!” You blurted out.
“Okay… Well we already knew that, right?”
“Yeah, but this is an IP in our city that they posted from at midnight on a Saturday. Not any of the school computers.” You hit CTRL + F, typing in the string of numbers to quickly cross reference it with your extensive list. “This could be their IP. Like, their actual one, from a personal computer.”
“Oh, yeah. Could be.”
“Can you give me a little more enthusiasm here, Junnie? Did I wake you up or something? It’s only—” You stopped like you’d just walked face-first into a brick wall, eyes locked on the search result.
“Yeah, only quarter after midnight,” he scoffed.
You clicked the next arrow on the search bar, but that was the only match. 1/1 results.
“Y/N?” Renjun called for your attention. “You there?”
You hung up.
Not wanting to lose your nerve, you pressed the doorbell over and over insistently. You could hear the complaining tone of the occupant before his words were even audible.
“Christ, I have neighbors, you know?” Renjun swung open the door with a scowl. The human was in a big, slouching hoodie and pajama pants. His hair was stuck up in a couple different directions, making you think he might’ve just woken up. Except behind him, you could see that his kitchen light was on, and a couple books and his laptop were open on his kitchen table. Late night studying. And the fact that you’d just talked to him on the phone fifteen minutes ago.
“Can I come in?” You requested, fidgeting with the sleeve of your cardigan.
His face immediately softened. “Yeah, of course.”
“Sorry to just show up like this,” you said as you took off your shoes by the front door before following him further into his apartment.
“It’s okay.” He stopped you two in the kitchen, picking up a colorful, patterned cardboard box. “Uh, I was just about to make a midnight snack. Pizza bites, you want some?”
“I… don’t think I’ve ever had them.”
“Perfect, you can try one now then.”
“Mm,” you made a non-committal noise, leaning against his kitchen counter to watch him pour out the frozen food onto a baking sheet.
The oven beeped, and he put the tray in before pressing a couple more buttons.
“So, I was thinking about the Dr. Magic stuff. Not the IP stuff but like… What even is your plan for when you do find Dr. Magic?” Renjun asked as he put the remaining pizza bites in his freezer.
“What do you mean?”
He leaned against the countertop across from you, though in the narrow space of his kitchen, you were practically knee-to-knee. “Like, say we finally find out who they are, we run up to them in the library or on campus or something. Then what? What are you going to do? What are you going to say? You’ve done all this, and I know why you had to. I get it. But, do you know what you’re going to say to them?”
“Probably something along the lines of…” You trailed off, giving an exasperated sigh. Dropping your chin to your chest, you groaned, “Gods, I don’t know.”
“Hey, that’s why you got me. So you can bounce ideas off someone, do a dry run.”
“I thought the words would just come to me, and now that I’m trying, I can’t—”
“It’s fine, Y/N. Let’s think about why you did this. I know it’s really hard to put into words. I mean, I know why you did. I get it. It’s that need to know. Not because you can, but because you have to, right? It’s curiosity in its rawest form. So obviously it’s not going to be some schmaltzy ‘haha I caught you’ spiel or anything.”
Looking up from the kitchen tile to Renjun’s eager features, you shook your head in disbelief. “You’re still helping me… when I know it’s you, Junnie.”
He tilted his head to the side, a comical noise of confusion coming from his mouth, “Uh?”
“I know it’s you, and you know that I know that it’s you.”
“You already ruled me out, because I’m an arrogant—”
“Junnie, you made a post on the forums from your laptop. No VPN. When you knew I was still tracking Dr. Magic’s IP on every post they made, and that I had your IP. That’s not a whoopsie that you make unless you want to be caught.”
The human crossed his arms over his chest, but otherwise seemed entirely calm about being caught. “And you didn’t come in here guns blazing now that you’d caught me, either. Why?”
“I didn’t know how to say it. I mean, you’re right, I only did all this because I needed to know.”
“And now you know.”
“Why now? Why just give up now?” You asked with a shake of your head. “You started posting as Dr. Magic back in August, and I came to you in January. You knew everything I was doing; you could have cruised through the rest of the semester and I’d have never caught you.”
“You wanted to find out who it was by midterms. One less thing on your plate.”
“And now I know…”
“So how does it feel? Finally catching Dr. Magic?”
You wrinkled your nose and sighed, “Bit disappointing. I was right on my first guess.”
“And you immediately dismissed me out of hand for being an arrogant, neurotic overachiever on your first guess,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but I didn’t really know you then. If I’d known you then like I know you now, I would’ve known as soon as I saw the first post.”
Renjun batted his eyes teasingly. “Aww, Y/N…”
“Doctor underscore magic two, three, zero, three? Twenty-three, oh-three? That’s your birthday, Junnie,” you deadpanned.
“Right.”
Pushing off the counter to stand up straight again, you said, “Anyway, you did help me find Dr. Magic. So, my turn.”
“Oh, no, you seriously don’t have to do that. I rigged the deal—”
“Yeah, about that.” You took a step forward. “How did you think that was going to end up for you, anyway? Were you going to sell somebody else out as Dr. Magic and hope I wasn’t going to talk to them? Spit in your mouth first and ask questions later?”
“I was thinking on my feet.”
“Maybe think laying down next time, Junnie.”
“Ouch.”
“Anyway, come on, you’ll want to sit down for this.” You grabbed his wrist, pulling him towards the living room.
“You don’t need to feel like you have to do this,” he reassured you.
Stopping the two of you in front of the couch, you turned to face him with a smirk. “Believe me when I say that it is going to be a treat unto itself for me to see you under the effects of siren venom. M’kay?”
Renjun’s surprise was evident on his face. “Oh.”
You stepped closer to him, delicately placing a hand on his chest. “Now unless you want me to literally spit in your mouth, I’m going to have to kiss you, to administer the venom.”
His eyes flicked between the hand you had on his chest and your face as he replied. “I’m okay with that—the kissing—if you are.”
“Renjun, I’ve been ready to eat you alive since you said the words ‘I want to experience siren venom for science’ to me.”
“Really?”
“Mhm. So why don’t you sit?” You guided him with the hand against his chest to sit back against his couch. Swinging one leg over his hips, then the other, you lowered yourself onto his lap. “Is this okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, tentatively settling his hands on your thighs. “Is this okay?”
“More than.” You smiled, looping your arms around his neck. “Now, a couple things, before we get started.”
“We haven’t started?”
“You’ll know it when we do.”
“Right.”
“I know you think you know what siren venom is like, but whatever scientific articles you’ve read, or documentaries you’ve watched, or slides you’ve studied under microscopes in lab, cannot actually prepare you for what it’s like. Which, I imagine is why you want to experience it for yourself.” You smirked down at him as you watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down with a gulp. “So before I actually dose you up with it, I need you to tell me what you’re actually okay with doing and what you’re not. Because once you get my venom in you, you’re going to want to let me do anything and everything to you, up to and including kill you, remember?”
“Well that’s off the table.”
“Good to know,” you snorted, running a fingernail down the nape of his neck. You felt a shudder go through him. “Is this okay?”
“Y-Yeah.” He seemed to be fighting to keep his eyes open. You halted your motions to let him think, and watched in amusement as he blinked his mind clear.
Once enough time had passed, you prompted him, “So?”
“I think just kissing,” Renjun answered. “Like, making out, or whatever. If you want…”
You snickered. “What part of ‘eat you alive’ was I unclear about?”
“The ‘eat’ part, actually. How literal is that?”
“Guess you’ll find out,” you teased. Then, you focused again as you sat back a little. “Okay, making out. Making out means different things to different people. So… we know kissing’s on the table. Tongue?”
“Yeah.”
“Teeth?”
“Where?”
“Waist up. You got somewhere you don’t want them?”
He took a moment to think about this. Then shook his head. “No. You can use them. Anywhere.”
“Same goes for you. Hickies?”
“Giving or receiving?”
“Both. You first.”
“Both are okay. You?”
You were already zeroing in on his neck and a small part of his collarbone peeking out from under his hoodie. “Same. Touching over clothes?”
“Okay, as long as you don’t think it’ll be too much with the venom…”
“Oh, Junnie, everything is going to be too much.” You grinned down at him.
His breathing had picked up pace as the two of you were talking. “You? The touching?”
“Good. Great. Touching under clothes?”
Renjun squirmed underneath you, but maintained your eye contact. “Just under my shirt.”
“Smart boy,” you said approvingly. “Me too.”
“Is that it?” He asked quietly, eyes now flicking down to your lips.
“I think so…” You looked around the room to buy a couple extra seconds of thinking time. When you hadn’t come up with anything else, you looked down at the human below you once more. “Ready, Renjun?”
“Yes.”
You took one final look over him like this, how much he already wanted you before he’d even gotten any of your venom in him, and dragged the tip of your tongue over your bottom lip instinctually. His heartrate jumped, and you wondered if it was fear—if the motion had reminded him perhaps of a hungry predator—or need. Or maybe a bit of both.
But you couldn’t tease him nor yourself any longer, swooping down to connect your mouths. You started off with just a couple light, closed-mouth kisses, to ease him into it. You heard him inhale quickly through his nose, his grip on your thighs tightening minutely. Swiping your tongue across the seal of his lips, you were delighted when he immediately parted his mouth in response, his tongue seeking yours out. You hummed contentedly into his mouth as you started stroking a fingernail down the back of his neck again. At the same time, your venom was beginning to mix in with your saliva, being passed onto Renjun.
Once his jaw started going slack in the kiss, and his hands slowly slid off your legs entirely to rest lamely at his side, you deemed him plenty dosed up. Consciously, you blocked off your venom glands once more. When one particularly drawn-out scratch down the back of his neck finally elicited a noise from him, an involuntary whine, you felt something in you snap. You needed more of that.
“So this is what siren venom feels like…” He mumbled breathily, letting his head loll back against the couch cushion as you kissed a path down his jawline and neck. When you felt his breath hitch in his throat over one particular spot, you decided to take your time there, sucking and nipping a mark into his skin.
When humans were… locked in a lover’s embrace, they let off a certain perfume distinguishable only to sirens—which was what made them the favored prey of sirens for so long. A human under the influence of siren venom? Delectable. And every human’s was unique too, so Renjun under the influence of your venom? Absolutely addictive.
With each kiss you stole from his lips, every nip you left on his neck that you then soothed over with your tongue, you got another taste of it. A sweetness that came with a bite, like ginger candy.
Renjun was still talking, though, his vocal cords vibrating under your lips. “My-My heart’s beating so fast, and I’m so warm—that’s so the ocean water doesn’t feel cold, of course—”
“Would you shut up?” You sat back up, grabbing him by the hair.
“Why?”
“I’m trying to kiss you again, idiot.”
“Oh. Right.” He closed his mouth, looking up at you with glassy eyes, waiting. Gods, he was so pretty like this.
You crashed your lips back on his, a mess of teeth and lips and tongue as he tried to keep up with you. But you knew that your venom was in full effect now, every single one of his nerve endings was approximately three and half times more sensitive. So you were sure it was all a little overwhelming. But he was definitely trying his best, kissing sloppily into your mouth with hungry, desperate whines.
Pulling him back off with your grip in his hair, you traced a thumb over his kiss-swollen bottom lip, cooing over how fucked-out he looked like this. “Oh, baby. Oh, poor Junnie. What’s wrong? Can’t even kiss me properly because it feels too good? Baby’s overwhelmed with just a little bit of kissing?”
He opened his mouth wider, darting the tip of his tongue out to brush against the pad of your thumb. You pushed the finger in his mouth, groaning as he immediately closed his lips around it. “Gods, you’re perfect, Junnie.”
Taking your thumb back out of his mouth just to grab his chin with the same wet digit, you attacked his lips with yours again. Ginger candy. His hands that had been lamely resting at his sides the entire time now fumbled at something in the area where your hips met.
“What? What are you trying to do, baby?” You asked, leaning back to look down. He was grabbing at the hem of his hoodie, unsuccessfully yanking it up towards his head as part of it was stuck under one of your thighs.
“‘m too hot. Please…” He panted, dropping it as he looked up at you pleadingly.
You nodded slowly in understanding, knowing that one of the effects of the siren venom was an increase in body temperature, not to mention what you two were just doing. The collar of another shirt was visible underneath the sweatshirt. “Okay, Junnie, we can take your hoodie off. But only the hoodie. Your other clothes are staying on, understood?”
He nodded quickly, hips bucking up against you. Sweat was beading up on his forehead, his hair getting stuck to the damp skin. You shifted back on his lap so that none of the sweatshirt was under you anymore, grabbing the hem and reaching behind him to yank up from underneath him as well.
“Sit forward for me, baby?” You requested in his ear sweetly.
Renjun obliged as best he could, leaning forward to get his back and shoulders off the couch. You pulled the hoodie up over his head, tossing it off to the side, leaving him in a black t-shirt that certainly couldn’t be helping much either. But having that heavy layer off seemed to provide some relief for him, as he let out a sigh, falling back against the furniture again.
You giggled as you settled back into the crux of his lap again, lacing your fingers together behind his neck. “Is that better now, Junnie?”
He shook his head, and you arched an eyebrow curiously.
“Oh? What’s wrong, then?”
Renjun tugged gently at your cardigan where it had shrugged down to show one of your shoulders. “Please?”
Pulling your bottom lip in between your teeth, you thought this over. You had a tank top on under the cardigan, and both of you were still wearing everything else. Not to mention that you were starting to get a bit warm too. Sirens ran naturally cooler than humans, so you were sure that to him, you felt practically refreshing right now, but you honestly were a bit hot for a siren’s tastes.
Giving a contemplative hum first, you finally relented, “Alright, Junnie. But just my sweater. Everything else stays on, because we didn’t talk about that before the venom, do you understand?”
He rushed to strip you of the knit cardigan, his mouth following his hands’ path down your skin. First on your shoulder, then down your arm. You let the garment drop on the floor behind you as he kissed back up along your shoulder, then over the fabric of your tank top until he got to your collarbone, and finally the hollow of your throat. Fondly stroking the back of his head, the pleased purr that had started in your chest turned into a surprised moan when he licked a long stripe up your throat.
Holding his face in your hands so that your noses brushed, and your lips barely ghosted over each other, you let your breaths mingle in the meager space afforded. Renjun ended your little anticipation game quickly, kissing you tongue-first, and you kissed him back just as eagerly, sucking on his tongue with lewd, wet noises. He moaned into your mouth, his hands grabbing at your waist for purchase first, then slipping and curling into the material of your shirt, bunching it in his fists.
Slowing the pace of your kisses, you eventually sat back, appraising the state he was in. You affectionately ran a hand through his hair as you took in his blown pupils, kiss-swollen lips, and pink cheeks. “Junnie? How are you feeling? Need a break?”
You hadn’t given him another dose of venom since the initial one, which wasn’t very large to begin with. But this was his first time experiencing it, so you wanted to check in. He should be just past the peak of it by now, starting to come down but for all intents and purposes still very much intoxicated. Siren venom wasn’t meant to last very long, after all, it took an adult human less than a minute to drown.
“Need you…” He insisted, arching up towards you.
Indulging him in one, two more feverish kisses, you pulled away once again. “I know, baby. And you’ve been doing so good for me. So I need you to tell me if you need a break. Okay?”
“’kay.” He agreed before you sealed your mouth over his again.
Kissing down from his mouth to just under his jaw, at the same time you trailed a finger down the center of his front until it got to the hem of his t-shirt.
He nodded fervently before you could say or do anything more. “Please… please…”
“Shh, shh, shh,” you quieted him down gently. “Doing so good for me, Junnie. The best.”
You slipped your hands under his shirt, just to stroke his waist. His muscles tensed under your touch, and he let out a sound of satisfaction. He grabbed at your thighs again, but you couldn’t tell if it was an attempt at reciprocity or to have something sturdier to ground himself to than your flimsy tank top. The corner of your lips quirked up as you pressed a couple more kisses down his neck to hover your lips over his pulse point, content to start a new mark there as your hands continued to explore under his shirt. It was when you gently raked your nails down over his pecs that you got the loudest moan out of him yet, and you groaned in response.
“Gods, you’re perfect,” you nuzzled your nose into Renjun’s neck, then pressed a couple relatively chaste pecks to his cheek. “Just perfect…”
Taking your hands back out from his shirt, you silenced his whine at the loss of contact by slotting your lips together once more. You cupped his face with one hand, using the other to take one of his hands off your leg and lace them together, palm to palm. This seemed to make him content once more, especially when you brought your connected hands up to the back of the couch, pinning his behind his head. He squirmed under you, letting out a familiar noise of pleasure into your mouth and squeezing your hand tightly.
You knew the venom was well and truly starting to wear off when Renjun began keeping pace with your slow, lazy kisses, his mouth not as sloppy but no less delightful as it moved in tandem with yours. The thumb of the remaining hand on your thigh started to stroke over your skin, and the hand that you were holding gave yours a gentle squeeze. You gave him one, two last lingering kisses, drinking in the dwindling taste of ginger candy while you could, Renjun matching you beat for beat.
Unlacing your fingers and dropping your hand from his face, you drew back from him. Before you could say anything, though, Renjun grabbed you by the back of the neck and pulled you in for one more kiss, sinking his teeth into your already tender, over-kissed bottom lip. You gasped into his mouth, which gave him the perfect opportunity to intertwine his tongue with yours again on his apparent mission to try to kiss the breath from you. A nigh impossible task for a human to do to a siren, but it definitely felt like he was succeeding. He was crushing his lips against yours so hard you were worried about him drawing blood—not because you would mind the pain, but for fear of his safety if he got a direct hit of your blood in his mouth.
In the back of your mind, you were desperately trying to remember if you had maybe accidentally opened your venom glands a second time later on, but just drew a blank. That wasn’t something you did unaware, it wasn’t automatic, it had to be done on purpose. Then, for a brief moment, you were worried about secondary wave syndrome—some humans break down siren venom in two phases instead of one, and the second one almost always kills them if they’re not brought to a human medical doctor for treatment—and you started running through the symptoms as well as the nearest human emergency rooms in your mind. Burst capillaries in the eyes, refusal of food and water, the hospital three blocks over should have an ER, right? But the kiss didn’t feel like when he’d been intoxicated on your venom before, this one felt deliberate, in control. He was in control. You let out a small moan at the thought, and Renjun’s lone hand on your thigh tightened in response.
Once he finally let you go, you both sat there in silence for a good few seconds, you still on his lap. You stared extra hard at the whites of his eyes. They looked normal. He seemed… normal.
It was rare for either of you to be speechless, much less the both of you.
“Well…” you broke the silence. “That was siren venom. You should drink some water. Stay right here, I’ll get it.”
You climbed off of him, heading into his kitchen. Looking at the oven, you were wondering how the timer hadn’t gone off in that entire time when you saw that it wasn’t on. The words ‘TIMER SET?’ were flashing on the screen at you, and the preheat hadn’t been started either. The pizza rolls had just been slowly defrosting on a pan in the cold oven. You couldn’t help but laugh, reaching into his fridge for his Brita filter then securing a couple cups from the cabinets.
Walking back into the living room, you handed the human his cup of water and remained standing as you took a sip of yours.
“You didn’t start the oven, for your pizza rolls,” you informed him quietly.
“Wh— oh, shit,” Renjun groaned, tipping his head back. “I guess I don’t get to give you your first pizza roll tonight.”
“That’s okay.” You dropped onto the couch next to him, shoulder to shoulder.
“So… that was siren venom,” he breathed out, then took a long gulp of his water. Definitely not second wave syndrome.
“That was siren venom,” you confirmed with a laugh, fondly brushing a piece of sweaty hair off his forehead.
“You were right… I was not prepared,” he admitted with a laugh, taking another drink.
“So do you think you would’ve let me kill you?”
“Yeah. I would’ve given you my credit card info, bank password, spilled all of my friends’ worst secrets, let you kill me, killed someone else if you asked me. God, that was…” He said with wide eyes, shaking his head. But there was a familiar glint in his eye as a smile cracked across his face, “Incredible.”
“Glad you think so,” you giggled, patting his chest. “Now don’t become a venom junkie, okay? I couldn’t live with myself if you did and it was my fault.”
“I won’t. Not really what I meant anyway.”
You grinned slyly at what he seemed to be implying, that it might not have just been the siren venom, but that it was you and your venom that made it so incredible. Like how every human had a slightly different essence, every siren had a unique chemical signature in their venom. It’s why using it non-consensually nowadays would be extremely stupid (as well as just an immoral thing to do and also a crime)—it can be matched to the siren in a lab like DNA. In addition, anecdotally, every siren’s venom was said to produce a slightly different high, but no mass studies had backed that up. You were inclined to believe the stories, though.
Renjun was still a bit hazy, though, still riding the high of the venom, so you decided to tuck a conversation like that away for another time.
“So why did you pick Magical Creatures Studies? Other than you’re insane?” You redirected the topic to a more neutral one.
Renjun didn’t seem put off at all about this jump. “When I was a kid, my family traveled around a bunch, for my dad’s job. I got to meet a lot of different kinds of beings, some of them became my best friends, and I never wanted to stop learning about it all.”
“What does your dad do?”
“Government job,” he answered, suddenly interested in picking at his nails.
You furrowed your brow thoughtfully. “Wait a minute… Huang Renjun. As in, your father is Ambassador Huang? That we’ve had to write papers on in class?”
Ambassador Huang was the first human ambassador sent on diplomacy trips to outside nations of magical creatures post-integration. His trips had largely been considered a monumental success, and credited as a big driver behind the huge uptick of immigration that your city has been seeing from outlying areas in the past couple decades. You’d hardly gotten through a single contemporary MCS class without directly learning about him or at least hearing his name. And you’d apparently been going to school with his son for four years and just pumped said son full of your venom and made out with him while he was high on your venom.
“Yeah…”
“Dude! What the hell? You didn’t think to mention that at some point?” You asked incredulously.
“And sound like some uppity nepo kid bragging about my dad? No thanks,” Renjun snorted.
“Yeah, maybe not like day one but like… I don’t know, before I used my venom on you!” You nudged his arm teasingly.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I just venom-ed Ambassador Huang’s son!”
“Oh my God, could you not call me that?” He snapped at you. “This is why I don’t tell people! Because now I don’t have a name anymore, I’m just Ambassador Huang’s son.”
You immediately realized your mistake, your stomach dropping as you heard the hurt in his words. “Renjun, I’m—”
“Just go.” He demanded, standing up from the couch and putting distance between you two again. “We both got what we wanted, right? You found out who Dr. Magic was, and I experienced siren venom. That’s all this was, so you can go. You don’t owe me anything else.”
You clenched your jaw, setting your cup on the end table beside the couch. Picking up your cardigan from the floor with as much dignity as you could, you pulled it back on. Neither of you said another word as he watched you stalk over to the front door, shove your shoes back on, throw the door open, and slam it closed behind you.
Drumming your fingertips along your keyboard, you squinted at the flashcards on your screen. You were in a sour mood, which had persisted ever since you’d left Renjun’s last night feeling used.
Ten was next to you at your picnic table outside the student union, finishing up a pencil portrait sketch of one of his other friends—one of the CompSci majors you’d paid to write your browser extension, actually. Dejun, a dragon, whose slit pupils, many bejeweled earrings, and a singular fang poking out from under his top lip featured prominently in the portrait. The sketch was part of Ten’s midterm portfolio check-in for one of his classes. Midterms were literally this week. Like, right now. You forced your sharp teeth further into the wooden pencil in your mouth.
“You’re going to ruin your cuspids like that, Y/N,” Ten chastised you calmly, rubbing at a line with the pad of his ring finger to smudge it before flipping his own non-mangled pencil around and continuing to sketch with the graphite.
“I’ll grow another set,” you grumbled, but took the writing utensil out of your mouth nevertheless.
“And have no teeth in the meantime. Real sexy siren stuff. Sure to lure all the hotties to their deaths looking like GamGam missing her dentures.”
“Shut up!” You shoved his head away, earning a loud peal of laughter from your friend. “As if you’ve been pulling anybody yourself. You’re literally a siren art major covered in tattoos that he designed himself, more piercings than a dragon, including nipple rings, and you haven’t been on a date in… what, almost a year?”
“So we’re both disappointments to the good siren name, huh?” He held up his hands in surrender, still grinning. “Just a couple of poor, celibate sirens doomed to be disgraces to their species forever…”
“Can you not yell that to the entire courtyard, dude?”
“What? Not announce very loudly that you haven’t been with anybody in exactly four—”
You lunged to cover his mouth before he could publicize precisely how long it’s been since you’d hooked up with someone. Ten immediately broke down into laughs behind your hand that was covering his mouth, his shoulders shaking even as you smacked him on the back of the head with your other hand.
“Gods, what is wrong with you?” You hissed at him. “You’re a menace to society. And me.”
When you’d finally let go of his face, he said through a couple more chuckles, “Hey, you could easily do it back to me.”
“Why would I want to do that? And the fact that you’re suggesting it makes me think that you want me to do that, which makes me want to do it even less. You freak.”
Before your podmate could respond, you caught sight of a figure approaching your table head-on. Setting your jaw, your body immediately tensed. There was no mistake, Huang Renjun was walking straight towards you. Ten seemed to have noticed the shift in your body language and mood, as he didn’t say anything further, quietly going back to his sketchbook as you watched Renjun get nearer and nearer.
“Y/N,” he said your name quietly, stopping not quite at the end of the table beside you, but next to the end of the bench across from you.
“What do you want from me now, Renjun?” You replied bitterly, pretending to return your hands to your keyboard as if you were going to refocus on your studies.
“Uhm, to talk, I guess?”
Ten interjected, “Do you guys need a second? I can go—”
You held him in place with a hand around his wrist, your voice curt, “No, Ten. Stay. This will be short.”
Your friend lowered himself back down into his seat.
You then set your hard gaze on Renjun. The marks you had left on his neck were still visible above the collar of his t-shirt. Moving your eyes from that to his face, you cocked your head to the side. “What’s in it for me? You established that our relationship is purely transactional, remember? We apparently just use each other. You scratch my back, I spit in your mouth, quid pro quo.”
“Okay, I’m going now,” Ten declared, wrenching his arm from your grasp to grab his sketchbook, pencils, and backpack before taking off.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I don’t see you like that at all, I just... I got defensive and snapped. It’s not an excuse, but still, I want you to know that I don’t mean anything I said. I’m sorry.” Renjun shifted uncomfortably on his feet, but you could see the genuine remorse on his features.
You breathed in, then out.
“I’m sorry too,” you sighed, letting your voice relax back to the natural softness that it held around Renjun. “You’re your own person, aside from just ‘Ambassador Huang’s son.’ I’m sorry for treating you like anything other than Renjun.”
“It’s not that I’m not super proud to be his son or anything, I think he’s really awesome. He was my hero growing up; still is. I mean, I’m going into the same field as him. Kind of. You know? It’s just because we’re going to be doing the same kind of thing, I want to be able to be looked at for what I do. Good or bad.”
“Bad? You plan on using your degree for evil, Renjun?” You teased, scooting over on the bench seat to take Ten’s previous spot and freeing up a place for Renjun to scoot in beside you.
“I could,” he played along, gladly taking the seat offered.
The two of you made eye contact, then burst into laughter at the same time.
“What?” He questioned in mock offense. “I think I’d make a great evil dictator, personally. You don’t think so?”
“Not at all, you’d be great at it.”
“Thank you. My friends don’t take my threats so seriously.”
“Which will ultimately be their downfall.”
Renjun looked back out at the campus in front of you two, his voice turning serious again, “But, seriously, I mean, I don’t want people having all these lofty expectations for me and then be disappointed when I don’t change the whole world, nor do I want them making things easy for me because they know my dad.”
“That’s fair. Unattainable, but fair to wish for,” you nodded in understanding.
“Ugh...” He slumped forward, dropping his head into his arms atop the table.
“Look, Renjun…” You rested one hand on his arm as the other rubbed up and down his back supportively. “You can’t change who your dad is, and you said it yourself, it’s not like you’re ashamed of him either. So don’t brag, and don’t be a dick when somebody brings him up either. Just do your best to show people who Huang Renjun is. And if they still don’t get it, that’s their loss. Because I already know him, and I think he’s pretty cool.”
Renjun sat back up to look you in the face with a skeptical eyebrow raised. “You’re such a cheeseball. Aren’t sirens supposed to be alluring and enchanting?”
“Shut up! I will drown you! See how alluring I am when you’re under a siren call,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I’m kidding.” He grinned at you, nudging your shoulder with his. “That really did make me feel better, thank you, Y/N.”
You smiled back. “You’re welcome, Renjun.”
The two of you kept smiling at each other for a moment before he broke the eye contact, looking down at his hands then shifting his gaze back to the courtyard.
“Uhm, while we’re airing stuff out about last night...” He cleared his throat awkwardly.
“Yeah, Junnie?” You tilted your head to the side, watching as his cheeks started flushing.
“I don’t think I ever said thank you. I kind of popped off on you right after... everything. But thank you, for taking care of me before, during, and after. It didn’t even occur to me to talk about what we could and couldn’t do beforehand. Thank you for that, and for getting me the water. And... all of it in between...” His ears were bright red too at this point, but he managed to look you in the eye as he gave you his genuine gratitude.
You nodded in understanding. “You’re welcome. I’m glad that you felt cared for during all of it. In addition to, you know, everything else you felt.”
“Mm, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
Studying his face curiously, you said, “You look like you want to ask me something else.”
“Well, I feel like you still weren’t very clear on the ‘eat me alive’ thing.”
You rolled your eyes. “Gods, Junnie, I’m not going to actually eat you—”
“I mean...” Renjun took a deep breath. “I kind of always feel like I’ve got a little bit of siren venom in me when I’m around you, Y/N. My heart races, and my skin is warm, and everything is just better when I’m with you. I want to see you when you’re not around, and when things are hard for you, I want to make everything better. I like you, and between the Dr. Magic deal, and our stupid academic rivalry, and what we did last night, I don’t know what I am to you, but that’s how I feel.”
If someone had told freshman you that Huang Renjun would ever say words like that to you, you’d have laughed in their face to the point of tears— or slapped them. And yet, in that moment, you weren’t surprised in the slightest. It was the most natural, beautiful, delightful, perfect thing that could’ve happened. Just like you leaning over to give him a modest, near-demure kiss on the cheek, absolutely beaming at him as you pulled back.
“I like you too, Renjun,” you admitted.
His eyes went wide before a broad, tender smile spread across his features and he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. He let out a drawn-out sigh of relief, “Ohh, that’s one weight off my chest for this week.”
You laughed in agreement. “Me too. Actually makes everything feel lighter.”
“Yeah, it does,” he said, squeezing your shoulder. “So how much do I owe you?”
“What?”
“You said you were going to invoice Dr. Magic. For the browser extension, and the color copies, and whatever else. How much do I owe you?”
You tapped a finger against your chin, pretending to think before a smirk pulled across your lips. “Mm, should be exactly the price of one nice dinner and a movie.”
“Dinner and a movie? Just how many copies were you making?” He asked with a chuckle and a shake of his head.
“A nice dinner,” you reiterated. “I paid those CompSci majors fairly for their time.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
Friday night after your last midterm, you were knocking on Huang Renjun’s door. The two of you had seen each other this week for your Linguistics in MCS class, but had been utterly locked into academic mode and hadn’t met up aside from that. So, per his invite, you were here in your “midterms best”— i.e., the pajamas you had been wearing at your own apartment since submitting your last mid-semester draft earlier today. You’d been told this wasn’t going to be a fancy affair.
Judging by the pajamas that Renjun had also answered the door wearing—giving you vivid déjà vu to the last time you were here—you were dressed appropriately for the occasion. He led you in by the hand, informing you there was something he wanted to show you in the kitchen.
You came to a stop in front of a plate piled high with small, pillow-shaped pieces of dough, some with bursts of red sauce leaking out of them. You couldn’t help but let out a sputtering laugh. “Pizza rolls? Did midterms scramble the egg on your face so bad that you missed the part where I said nice dinner?”
You might not have ever eaten pizza rolls, but you knew what section of the grocery store they came from.
“I can’t even tell what that was supposed to be… You’re so beautiful…” He was staring at you with a look of pure adoration, and surprised you by giving you a fleeting peck on the cheek, gone as soon as you’d realized what he was doing. Your hand instinctually came up to brush at your skin, almost in disbelief, as he went back to explaining his plans for tonight. “Anyway, I didn’t get to give you your first pizza roll the other night, and I figured that the last thing you actually wanted right after midterms week was to go out to some hoity toity place and be out at the movie theater really late, right? So, I’ve got pizza rolls, peanut butter cookies, your seaweed tea, and like way more snacks and candy and stuff. So we can chill and watch whatever movies you want tonight, unwind from midterms. And then next weekend, we’ll do your nice dinner and go to the movie theater. Think of it as an IOU.”
A fond smile tugged at the corner of your mouth as you nodded your approval. “Mmm… you’re right. This is great, Junnie. Thank you.”
Set up on Renjun’s couch with the assortment of snacks—pizza rolls included—and your first movie chosen, you settled in next to him, knee to knee, under the same blanket as the two of you ate. You decided that pizza rolls weren’t that bad (you still liked peanut butter sandwich cookies better), convinced Renjun to try some of your ocean flakes again—a favorite snack of sirens, which he’d already tasted on one occasion at a Dr. Magic hunting session and hated—to similar results, and finished off a bottle of seaweed-infused tea by the time the first movie was about a third of the way done. At this point, you were pretty satiated food-wise, and set your empty drink bottle on the coffee table to sit back on the couch.
Linking your arm with Renjun’s, you rested your head on his shoulder as he was still finishing up his plate of pizza rolls. “That was good, Renjun. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I call dibs on little spoon first, by the way.”
“Damn.”
Once he was done eating as well, you laid down to eagerly take your promised place as little spoon. Renjun stayed partially propped up against the arm of the couch so he could see the TV as you were nestled back against his chest, one of his arms slung over your waist. Your fingers played with his under the blanket absentmindedly as you got used to your new place, with him, in his arms.
“Renjun?” You said into the quiet. The only noises were coming from the TV. The movie was nearly done, just a couple little resolving scenes after the climax left. You’d seen it plenty of times before—both of you had, it was a favorite that you’d discovered you two shared earlier in the semester—which was why you’d picked it, an easy watch that you both liked. But nothing that required your full attention, so you could talk or miss scenes if you wanted.
“Yeah?” He responded just as softly.
“This is really nice. Hanging out, just us. No school, no Dr. Magic.”
“I know. Almost doesn’t feel real.”
“What? That we’re hanging out without trying to kill each other?”
He let out a couple laughs, catching your hand that had been playing with his under the blanket and lacing your fingers together. “I think there’s definitely some people that would be shocked to see us right now. But I meant more-so that we don’t have any schoolwork to do right now, and that the whole Dr. Magic thing is finally over. Other than the dinner that I owe you.”
“Oh… I owe you… I-O-U…” you sounded the words and letters out slowly. “I get it now.”
“God, you’re perfect,” he sighed dreamily, brushing your hair away from your face to press two kisses to your temple in quick succession.
You turned over to face him to properly protest, “Hey, I didn’t grow up around humans, you know that, right? I just came here to go to school! I moved here like, two weeks before our first day of freshman year—”
“I’m not making fun of you, Y/N!” He promised, sandwiching your hand between both of his and squeezing it tightly. “I respect how difficult it must have been for you to acclimate to the new culture and city when you moved, and so suddenly, on top of starting school. I just love y- love when you do that. Genuinely, I’m so charmed by it. Endeared. Bewitched. Whatever word you want to use. It’s something I never noticed until this semester, when we started doing the Dr. Magic stuff together. Despite knowing you for so long, in the department, in classes.”
“You know what I never knew about you before this semester, Junnie?”
“What?”
“That you were such a softie,” you snickered fondly. “I thought you were all textbooks and GPA and flashcards and whatever.”
The human ducked his head bashfully. “It’s something I’ve been working on this year.”
“Between this and Dr. Magic, I think you’ve been doing pretty well.”
“Thanks.”
“So, why did you do it, Junnie?” You asked curiously. “Not be a softie, I mean, but…”
“What? Be Dr. Magic?” He clarified, to which you nodded. “I didn’t mean to make a persona like that, really. I had to pick a screenname, and the guys had jokingly called me that a couple times when I helped them out with some problems. That’s all.”
“I know why you started the account. Knowledge. That’s also why you didn’t get the credit. You just needed to know. Though, the story behind the name is cute,” you pinched his cheek, and he tried to deter your hand with his shoulder half-heartedly. “I mean more like, why were you hiding your IP and using VPNs and stuff before you even knew that I was trying to track you down? In the fall.”
“I made the first couple posts from the school computers just because I like to do my work there, I wasn’t trying to cover anything up. Then I pictured what I’d do if I found someone posting like I was on the forums. And I would’ve tried to find out who they were. So I started covering my tracks a bit more intentionally after that. Didn’t want any groupies rolling up on me.” He pinched your side teasingly with the last sentence, and you slapped his hand away with an eye roll.
“Oh shut up!” You scoffed, ignoring his hands as he tried to pull you back towards him again.
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I’m sorry,” he apologized through his chuckles. “If anything I’m your groupie, I swear. Your number one fan from the moment you showed me your conspiracy board.”
“Mm, fine.” You scooted closer to him, letting him wrap his arms around you once more. “Glad we got that cleared up.”
Renjun shifted to lay on his back, and you easily followed the move to snuggle in mostly on top of him, resting your head in the crook of his neck and your hand on his waist, fingers innocently smoothing over a patch of skin above his hipbone where his shirt had ridden up. It sounded like the credits were on by now, but you didn’t really care about picking another movie as Renjun hummed along to the familiar song that played over the scrolling names. You’d sing along too, if you were alone at your own place. But now you didn’t dare even hum like the human with you for fear of what it could do to him. Renjun’s voice was plenty lovely enough though, even just this casual little bit humming. You’d see if you could get him to sing for you properly one of these days. If an opportunity came before graduation. Who knew what your days would even look like before then.
Gods, graduation. You felt like you could shrivel up and die just thinking about it. Not to mention that you hadn’t even told Renjun that you’d—
“Hey. What are you thinking about?” He suddenly asked, his disapproving tone clear.
You gulped. “How could you tell I was thinking about something?”
“For one, you’ve got your bad thinking face on.” He pinched your bottom lip. “You pout. It’s very dramatic. You look very concerned.”
“I have different thinking faces?”
“Yeah, you look different when you’re studying. I’ve seen you do plenty of that to know the difference. And you’ve got a third face when you’re contemplating. Usually you do that one when you’re looking at menus.”
“I didn’t know I was apparently an open book.” You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment.
“It’s cute, Y/N. You’ve got a cute face, and you make cute facial expressions with it, don’t cover it up.” He gingerly grabbed your hands to encourage you to take them off. “Except I am worried about what’s making you make your bad thinking face right now. What’s wrong?”
With a sigh, you pushed up into a sitting position. Renjun followed your lead curiously, a thoughtful frown on his own features as he watched you pull your knees to your chest.
“Renjun, I need to tell you something.”
He regarded you with a skeptical eyebrow raised. “Okay… go for it.”
Nervously, you smoothed out some wrinkles in your pajama pants as you confessed, “Uhm, Dr. Kwon asked me to carry the banner at commencement. I said yes.”
“I knew that.”
“What?” You looked up at him in disbelief.
“Well, since it was midterms already, I figured that if they’d picked me, they would have asked me by now and since they hadn’t, then they must have picked you. I was just waiting for you to tell me so I could tell you… Congrats.” Renjun grinned brightly at you, reaching out to rest his hand on your arm.
“You’re not upset?” You asked trepidly.
“We’re not petty little freshmen anymore, Y/N. No, I’m not upset. I’m proud of you, you deserve it.”
“So did you.”
“Not any more than you did.” He shook his head firmly. “So would you just accept my congrats already?”
You gave a small, shaky smile. “Thank you…”
“There we go.”
“This is what I was so freaked about… when we went to get froyo.”
“You were afraid of me being mad at you for being picked to carry the banner?” Renjun asked incredulously.
“I didn’t know how to tell you!” You defended yourself. “And now I have to do the commencement practices, on top of senior capstone and my extracurriculars…”
He wrinkled his nose. “Ew, commencement practices. So glad I didn’t get picked now, actually.”
“And that was so convincing, Junnie.”
“You remember what you said to me when we got froyo?”
Scrunching your face up, you struggled to think back to the exact conversation you had that day—you’d been really stressed. “Uh, ‘exactly two gummy sharks on mine please?’”
“Well, yeah, your hyper-specific froyo order—”
“Throwing stones at black kettles much?” You teased.
“Excuse me?” Renjun’s eyes went wide.
“Is that not—? I really thought I got it that time.”
“Did you mean to say ‘throwing stones in glass houses’ and/or ‘the pot calling the kettle black?’”
“…Yes.”
He turned very serious as he went to tenderly cradle your face in his hands. “I’m going to kiss you in like two seconds after I finish what I was saying, okay?”
“Oh, okay,” you agreed weakly, wishing very much that he’d just do it now instead of making you wait. He then let your face go.
“When we were talking about wanting people to know that we’re smart,” Renjun clarified. “You said that we’re both like that, and you knew that you were like that. And then you asked me if I knew that I was like that. I had tried to swear up and down this entire time that I was doing all of this—the needing to be the best—for myself. But it wasn’t. I’m like that too. That’s kind of what Dr. Magic was, me taking a step back from needing everyone to know I was the smartest person in the room. A quasi-experiment, to see if I could do it.”
“I think that after graduation, maybe we both chill on being the smartest person in the room, and try to just spend a summer working on that magical bucket list of yours?” You suggested.
“Oh?” He perked up at this. “Really?”
“You ever seen a werewolf shift?”
“No…”
“That sounds like a ‘not yet’ to me.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He confirmed with a conspiratorial grin that mirrored the one that you could feel across your own face. “You know how sirens can’t get dosed up on their own venom?”
“Yeah…” You nodded, wondering where he could be going with this.
“Well, I know a witch with a proprietary love potion blend that I think we might be able to modify to produce similar effects.”
“Fascinating.” You thought on this for a second, very quickly running through your knowledge of potion properties to imagine what it could be. “Two-factor blood potion?”
“Yes. But we’d put your venom in it instead of your blood so it wouldn’t kill me.”
“That could work…” You mused. “Speaking of, I should really give you a full dose one of these days.”
He breathed in sharply. “That wasn’t a full dose?”
“Nope.”
“Holy shit…”
“Have you ever watched a phoenix reincarnation?” You added another suggestion to your joint summer bucket list.
“Have you? Wouldn’t that literally blind us?” Renjun questioned, something akin to genuine concern on his face now.
You shrugged. “Allegedly. It’s never been recorded in a lab setting, so who really knows.”
“I think we’re going to get each other killed before we can get our PhDs,” he declared with a fond smile and shake of his head.
“Hey, the betting pools said we’d kill each other by junior year, so I think we’re doing well for ourselves.”
“Do you think we can collect on those bets when we graduate and we’re both still alive and have all of our limbs?”
“We’ll burn that bridge when we get there.”
“Oh my god, come here,” Renjun groaned deliriously, kneeling to grab your face with two hands and crash his lips to yours. You curled your fingers in the front of his shirt, pulling him down with you as you fell back against the arm of his couch, still connected.
Yeah, you’d drive off that burning bridge when you got there.
⤷ blog masterlist ⤷ anthology masterlist
#renjun#nct dream x reader#nct x reader#renjun x reader#huang renjun#nct dream imagine#renjun imagine#nct imagine#nct dream fluff#nct fluff#renjun fluff#i: renjun#f: dr_magic2303#au: strawberry sunday#*100#*200
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Fluent Freshman - Part 05
PREVIOUS
It might be objectively funnier if no one knows Fluent Freshman’s first name (even me because there’s some funny ideas but nothing as funny as “UNKNOWN” Smith) aside from Wymack.
Even the announcers just refer to him by his last name (maybe his first name is very foreign and hard to pronounce, maybe that’s why he got into foreign languages, maybe it’s so bland that the announcers just can’t his full name without yawning, maybe it’s just that someone else on the Foxes has the same first name so there’d be confusion, who knows) This only occasionally creates confusion because the Terrapins and the Ravens both have someone with the same last name as him.
Either way after one-two hit confidence crushing combo of the CVS girl knowing he has tummy trouble and the conversation with Neil where Neil asks about his stomach ulcers FF utilizes all of his years of learned behavior to fully fade into the background. Wallflower? No man I’m Wallpaper you cannot see me.” This has unintended consequences.
1. He has become undetectable which means that he is now, once again, hearing all sorts of relationship talk but now it’s not just between Captain Neil and Andrew Minyard and their surprisingly soft private life.
He is subjected to Nicky gushing to Erik in German. He has to listen to Kevin talk to someone named Jean in French (he only finds out later that they’re NOT dating but it sounds like date talk...though most of his experience is listening to Captain Neil and Andrew Minyard loving say they hate one another so maybe he has a bad pool of knowledge.) Matt, Aaron, Jack, and some of his other freshman players all speak in English but CHRIST he wishes it was in any language he doesn’t know. (If he hears Jack say ‘Yeah sure whatever Babe.’ one more time HE’S going to slap the asshole for being so dismissive to his girlfriend.)
2. He has become objectively better at being a defensive dealer because other teams just kind of don’t notice him and pass right to him. Kevin wants to study him on what about him makes him so adept at causing unforced errors in objectively better players. Fluent Freshman, having been yelled at by Kevin more than once, takes the moment Kevin’s eyes are diverted by Captain Neil saying something and just slides out of his seat into a different seat (Middle of the bus. The least noticeable section) and puts up his hoodie and pretends to sleep. (he does not. what if he drools? It’s already hard enough getting sleep in a room with two roomies. He got to campus earliest so that he could claim a top bunk so no one could see him even if heights make him nervous.)
3. Since he has become undetectable that means that Andrew Minyard and Captain Neil have a hard time detecting him. So he has not had to endure their silent judging company. He is sure that Andrew is waiting for him to slip and he’s also sure that Captain Neil thinks he’s stupid. No other freshman gets as much homework help from the Captain as he does. Still, he doesn’t have to sit in the silent knowledge that they both dislike him enough that they want him to know it. HIs ulcers are starting to get better and the girl at the CVS (He’d have to have a whole conversation to change where his prescription is filled and he’d rather die) didn’t even recognize him when he came in for a refill on his prescription or note that he was buying pepto bismol again.
HOWEVER
This means that Neil has come back with slumped shoulders and uneaten snacks the last five times he’s gone for his usual hangout. They are never planned hangouts it’s just that FF is always in the same 3 locations because there are only so many spots on campus where your back is completely secured and that weren’t so intimidating to go into (The library is terrifying. What if he sneezes???) and for the last two weeks Andrew has been unable to find FF outside of practice either.
(It has to be stated that FF is in the EXACT same spots as before but he is in stealth mode and therefore only visible if you are a mantis shrimp.)
Andrew Minyard does NOT like this. FF is THE singular tolerable teammate. Andrew likes the decompression time he gets when him and FF sit in quiet and do their own things. FF never asks for his attention but occasionally offers him good german literature recommendations for every stage of literacy ever since Andrew had mentioned wanting to get better at the written language so he wouldn’t have to rely on Neil or Nicky when the Monsters vacationed there next summer. He doesn’t call people friend easily but FF is a friend.
So it’s incredibly irritating that for the last two weeks he’s been completely unable to grab that friend and ask what the hell is going on. The Foxes have histories and it wouldn’t be the first time a Freshman’s past caught up with them or that one of them had something set them back into old survival habits. It’d happened with Matt, it’d happened with Aaron and Andrew, it for SURE happened with Neil, Sheena’s coping mechanisms had been the bane of Andrew’s existence the year before, some of the other freshman had setbacks this year and a few players over the years have had to leave due to the very circumstances that gave them a home with the Foxes. Andrew had never really cared as long as his people were fine.
It’s just that Andrew actually kind of cares about this Freshman, he considers him as someone who could be one of his people.
Which is why Andrew will keep stalking the campus around FF’s preferred haunts until he grabs him.
Andrew catches him outside of stealth mode (He had been using a urinal that is NOT where you don’t want people to notice you) and grabs him by the scruff. “We’re taking a drive.” he says and FF just sort of goes limp and lets himself be dragged off.
He hopes that he can write his grandma a letter telling her how much her love and care over the years meant to him before Andrew kills him. He’d even take if Andrew would only let him write it in his own blood.
NEXT
Per your requests:
@i-have-three-feelings, @blep-23
#Fluent Freshman AU#Neil watching as FF fades into the background and pointedly doesn't draw attention#Neil: It's hard to see someone else living your wildest dream.#All of the Foxes have tried at one point or another to indirectly get Wymack to say FF's name#No one knows it#Dan may have recruited him but when Neil reached out to her she says she doesn't really remember it#Dan: I think it had an E in it? Or was it an A? Maybe a U?"#Anderw: Great his name has a vowel. That narrows it down.#AFTG#AFTG Fic#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG shitpost#Andreil#Fluent Freshman is very Kuroko Tetsuya RN#Slaps FF look at how many Expys I can fit into this bad boy#FF - Pt. 05
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Hi! May I request a small fic where miles 42 dates a male reader who's very bubbly, glittery, fashionista, and dresses in very bright colors or pastels. Maybe Rio and Aaron finally get to meet him and try their best not to tease or laugh at how ironic it is?
They find it even funnier knowing he's the who's been stickers all of his jackets or just anything that came out of his room.
Got carried away with this one oopsie
take it or leave it.
Miles peeled off his dark green puffer jacket, brushing off stray rain drops that hadn’t evaporated yet. In doing so his fingers ran over something smooth like plastic. Already knowing what it was, he took his forefinger and thumb and removed it.
The face of a rabbit with an ‘x’ for a mouth stared blankly at him. Miles held it up to the light and smiled to himself as little dots of color shifted from orange to green, having a good idea who it was from.
You liked to slap these things everywhere–anywhere–that you could reach. Though you never explained yourself to him, Miles suspected that your reason was the same as his when he spray-painted the walls of abandoned buildings: to make your presence known in a world that seemed set on ignoring you.
Your bleach-blonde curls, pastel shirts and flared pants made you quite difficult to ignore in the first place.
Even Miles, who hid beneath his hoodies and oversized jackets, couldn’t take his eyes off of you from across the basketball court that fateful day as you sat on a bench crowded with your friends. They were dressed just as elaborately, but not with nearly as much variety of color.
One girl draped head-to-toe in black lace and silver jewelry leaned over to whisper something to you. Whatever was said made you turn and meet his eyes just as he caught the basketball that had just sunk through the net above him.
He froze momentarily and could’ve sworn he saw you grinning at him before he started dribbling again.
You were too far away for Miles to commit the details of your face to memory, but he recognized the blonde sitting at the top of your head when you rammed into him in the middle of the hallway the very next day.
Now in full uniform–save for the fashionably-loosened tie–his eyes were drawn to the row of helix piercings lining your right ear, and the faint glow of metallic eyeshadow swiped across your lids with lashes that curled sharply upwards like–
“Yo,” your voice brought him back to reality. “Are you okay? I said ‘my bad’.”
Miles blinked.
“Oh,” he replied dimly.
You laughed good-naturedly.
“Just ‘oh’?”
“I-I mean,” Miles stumbled over his words, “You’re…good. I guess.”
“That’s…good,” you parroted with a teasing smile. “See you around!”
You pulled the strap of your book bag further over your shoulder, causing the cluster of charms and trinkets hanging from it to click-clack together with every bouncy step you took as you weaved through the stream of oncoming students.
That was how it began.
“I think he likes you.”
Sela took a bite of her french fry, which she then pointed towards the next table ahead of her. You followed her line of vision right back to the mismatched eyes that had burned two holes into the back of your skull in the hallway.
And P.E.
And A.P. Bio.
The more you thought about it, the more your friend’s hypothesis began to sound believable.
Still, you shook your head and chuckled.
“He’s definitely straight, first of all.”
“You don’t know that! What happened to not assuming?”
“Hm, I dunno…”
You looked again. This time, Miles was fiddling with the sleeves of his uniform, avoiding eye contact. Presentation aside, you’d never really seen him running with the sort of boy that said “Pause!” every five minutes, so that was a plus.
…Then again, you’d never seen him running with anyone. He even hooped alone. You recalled him making several lay-ups in a row as clean as the twin braids that brushed his shoulders. No team required.
Sela interrupted your quiet deliberation.
“Go talk to him and find out, then. Not like he’s gonna kill you if you ask.”
She tapped her long black coffin nails on the lunch table, awaiting your answer.
“I don’t feel like getting up,” you groaned lazily.
“Fine, I’ll call him over.”
“Hey, wait–”
“Aye, Morales! Miles Morales!”
Miles looked startled. “Huh?”
Sela waved at him while you ran your palm over your face.
“C’mere!”
He eyed her suspiciously, but slowly got up and shuffled over to your table.
“Do you…” he looked around. “Need something?”
The girl gestured enthusiastically towards you, and you rolled your eyes mentally before replacing the irritation with a smile and taking the lead.
“You looked lonely over there, man. Come sit with us!”
Miles bit his bottom lip once you spoke up, appearing to take in a sharp breath before taking the empty seat across from you.
“So do you have any, like, actual friends–? Ow!”
Sela rubbed her arm after you gave her a good smack.
“Sorry about her. She meant to ask if you were doing alright. You seemed kinda out of it.”
“I’m…fine,” he answered slowly.
“Well, that’s good. You were staring at me somethin’ fierce, I thought I had done something to you.”
Miles felt a rush of heat travel straight to his cheeks.
“N-nah, it’s just that–well, I saw you at the basketball court, and…” he trailed off and began messing with the end of one of his braids.
You leaned in closer to hear him better, which didn’t help his situation.
“One more time?”
“I saw you. At the basketball court.”
The teasing grin returned to your face.
“Yeah, I saw you too. What about it?”
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, trying to piece the right words together. Then he tried again.
“I liked your ‘fit.”
You held back an obnoxious snort of laughter.
“That’s it?”
“Yeah, you have…good…fashion sense.”
Miles wrinkled his nose. He didn’t even believe his own lie. Why would you?
Mercifully, you narrowed your eyes but didn’t say anything.
“Thanks. You got good taste in sneakers.”
You paused, then added, “Meet me at the basketball court after school and I’ll show you how I put my outfits together. How's that sound?”
The offer hung in the air. Miles considered the possibility that you were just pulling his leg and that he’d wind up standing alone in an empty court, but there was no sign of a joke in your expression.
He shrugged in a fake show of nonchalance.
“Sure.”
The two of you went on like that for two long months. Meeting each other on the court, sitting on the bench and making light conversation while shooting compliments at each other that always just missed the mark of what you really meant to say, until one day you finally got tired of meandering.
“Miles, can I ask you something?”
“I dunno,” he answered, sipping on a pouch of Capri-Sun. “Can you?”
“You promise that if I ask, you’re gonna give me an honest answer?”
“If it won’t get me arrested, sure.”
“Miles, I’m serious.”
Your gaze intensified, making his heart rate quicken.
“Alright.”
“Are you into me?”
His blood ran hot and icy cold at the same time.
The thumping in his chest whenever you got close and he could smell what soap you used, the absent-minded doodles in his sketchbook, and finally, the staring, had been given a name. And in being named, it took on a physical form - something blinding and liquid that shot through his bloodstream.
Miles wanted to be able to say no. Give a straight answer, and move on to a more comfortable topic. But you’d read him like a book the last time he tried to lie to your face.
You noticed his hesitation, and the vice grip he had on his now-empty Capri-Sun.
“It won’t change anything, I just wanna be sure.”
He looked unconvinced. How do you just go back to normal knowing that your friend is in love with you? They could pretend nothing had changed for maybe a couple weeks, maximum, before conversations became clipped greetings in the hallway, then fizzled out into nothing. Impossible.
But again, it was no use lying.
He avoided your eyes as he answered, “I think so.”
Cold, delicate fingers suddenly found themselves beneath his chin, and his eyes widened as you turned his face towards yours.
“Miles, look at me. You either do or you don’t.”
His heartbeat was in his ears now, making his breaths shallow and the veins in his eyes pulse. The setting sun cast a sentimental glow over everything that filtered through your hair. No one else was around, save for the warm breeze.
“Miles, are you good–?”
He pressed his lips against yours before he could stop himself. Your lips were smoother than he’d expected, just slightly tacky with mentholated lip balm.
And, more importantly, they kissed him back.
-
Miles grabbed his sketchbook from his desk drawer and opened it to a page filled with tiny sketches of your outfits. Carefully, he placed the sticker next to the baby blue puffer you’d worn yesterday so that the two of you could be “twins”.
He should really call you, he thought.
-
You sighed, leaning your head back on the couch beneath the cool air-conditioning of Miles’ uncle Aaron’s apartment. The tall, lean man that you’d guessed Miles had probably gotten his accent from (and sayings that could only come out of the mouth of an older man) had gone out momentarily to grab food for all three of you.
Feeling his eyes on you, you turned to your now-sort-of-official boyfriend with a questioning look.
“What?”
Miles was holding back a laugh.
“Why’d you switch up like that in front of my uncle?”
“I didn’t ‘switch up’ anything.”
“I have never heard you talk like that in my life.”
You copied his pose, slouching and man-spreading with your hands resting on your thighs. You flattened and lowered your voice into the boring monotone that teenage boys liked to adopt when they wanted to be taken seriously.
“You mean like this?”
This earned a snicker from Miles, whose expression then became earnest.
“Seriously, though, you don’t gotta do the whole act around my unc. He’s not like that.”
“Then why do you do it?”
The boy paused.
Your observation was correct - Miles tended to lengthen and smooth out his stride when he walked next to Aaron on their ‘grocery runs’. He would remove the playful lilt in his voice, like when you strain freshly-brewed tea, leaving only the mellow liquid behind.
“That’s…different.”
We’re trying to impress him for two different reasons.
You let it go.
“Whatever you say. You are gonna tell him about us, though, right? Since he’s ‘not like that’.”
Miles scoffed, “You’re the one that introduced yourself as ‘a close friend of mine’. I ain’t tell you to say any of that.”
“I wasn’t sure if you felt safe!” you laughed.
“We were holding hands before he even opened the door, he definitely saw that shit.”
“Alright, alright, you win. We’ll both tell him, then. Sound good?”
“Sounds great.”
-
“Miles! Tu novio!”
“Coming!”
Miles padded over to the living room, where you stood in a bright yellow jacket covered in vibrant patchwork, and those jeans with the spray-painted stars all over them. Your hair was hidden beneath a red beanie you had stolen from his closet.
Aaron sipped on a fresh cup of coffee in the kitchen, well-within earshot as Miles greeted you.
“Hey.” The boy smiled, awkwardly sticking his hands in the pockets of his plain, dark-wash jeans.
His mother Rio shut the door and looked on in amusement at the two boys standing in front of her. You would think her son would add some more color to his wardrobe, being with someone that looked like that. But the all-black ensemble wasn’t going anywhere.
“¿Ustedes dos siguen fingiendo ser amigos?” the woman teased. “I’m not sensing any affection over here, guys!”
Miles gave his mom a blank stare, while you laughed. Even months later, the other boy wasn’t one for PDA.
“Oh they real affectionate, alright,” Aaron chimed in.
“Here we go…”
“I go out to get these boys some Domino’s one time, right? I come back up, and these two are cuddling on my damn couch after they told me they were ‘just good friends’. Now mind you, I ain’t believe ‘em for a second–”
“That’s great, unc,” Miles was already tugging you in the direction of his room, “We’re leaving now!”
“Don’t get too touchy in there!”
Once inside, he shut the door behind him. You struggled to suppress a laugh at the weary look on his face as you sat on the edge of his bed.
“She’s kinda right, y’know.”
“About?”
“It wouldn’t kill you to spare me a hug or something, once in a while.”
He said nothing.
You scanned Miles’ bedroom. All of his manga had been cleared off of his desk, and his swivel chair was no longer burdened with a pile of clothes. He just cleaned his room, you think.
The only thing left sitting there was his notorious sketchbook, a ballpoint pen, and a couple of Tombow markers scattered about.
And of course, your stickers.
You got up to take a closer look at the loose sketches and hummed in satisfaction.
“You’re really good at getting clothing folds right. You sure you never wanna study fashion design?”
He smiled, and shook his head.
“I’ll leave the fashion shit to you.”
“We could go to F.I.T. together, you and me.”
Without so much as making a peep, Miles and his long legs had snuck up behind you to wrap his equally-long arms around your waist.
“I’ll visit you.”
“What are you doing?”
“You asked for a hug.”
“That’s not what I mea–”
“Take it or leave it.”
The smell of paint and Jergens lotion enveloped you as you pulled him closer. You inhaled deeply, then sighed.
“You’re real stubborn, you know that?”
His chest shakes as he laughs.
“One of us has to be.”
#miles morales x reader#earth 42 miles morales x reader#earth 42 miles morales#miles morales x male reader#miles morales x black!reader#miles morales x you#requests#moralesanhour#earth 42 miles morales x male reader
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do u guys ever think about how the partners of those on the qsmp are gods and/or godesses in the lore. unrelated did u know that tommyinnit and tubbo underscore are legally married. just thought that was interesting.
Tubbo is, admittedly, not the best person.
He’s kind of a bit of a dick. He’s reckless, doesn’t have much regard for his own personal safety, let alone others, and he can be callous and rude and prickly and blunt. He’s not afraid to push buttons, literally or metaphorically, and he can be... explosive. Destructive, even. To say the least.
On further introspection, Tubbo realizes that he’s actually a lot more than a bit of a dick.
He doesn’t deserve this though. Probably.
Tubbo can’t remember much, but he’s almost entirely sure that he’s done nothing to deserve this. Literally no crime ever committed, ever, is worth this punishment.
“I hate you,” Tubbo sighs, for the ninetieth time in the past four minutes, “I hate you so much.” He pulls off his jacket, slipping his arms out of the sleeves and tossing the jacket in the general direction of the prick that can’t quite leave him alone. Tommy recoils at the jacket thrown across his face suddently, letting out a —incredibly cathartic for Tubbo— squak of surprise. Tubbo stomps away, leaving Tommy to reel away in his overblown, exaggerated horror at Tubbo’s dastardly actions, or whatever.
“This is, quite literally, very homophobic of you, Toby,” Tommy says, all faux-shock and concern, like Tubbo will believe him for a second. “Truly just so homophobic, I’m writing a twitlonger as we speak because Jesus, Toby—”
“You’re not even gay!” Tubbo bites out, left eye twitching. He stomps away, leaviTommy gasps at this, and Tubbo reminds himself that wringing his neck is not an option, despite it looking more and more appealing by the second.
“Oh, and how do you know that?” Tommy argues, walking right on Tubbo’s heels, “You really can’t base things on stereotypes, Toby, it’s incredibly offensive, you know? Just because I look straight and sound straight and act straight and— Oh, hi Em— say I’m straight doesn’t mean I am. What about me is straight to you?”
“Well, maybe the girlfriend, if I had to hazard a guess,” Tubbo says sarcastically, “Although I suppose that’s not relevant right now?”
He’s joking, obviously, because it’s very relevant.
“Oh Toby— Toby, Toby, Toby. Sweet, young Toby,” Tommy starts, and Tubbo knows he is not planning on stopping, “Of course, that’s not relevant. I’m talking about our marriage!”
“We’re not married,” Tubbo says, for the one-hundred ninetieth time in the last five minutes.
“Oh, ho-ho, but we are!” Tommy says, and Tubbo weighs the pros and cons of killing himself rapidly and graphically by throwing himself out of the nearest possible window. The pros are not currently outweighing the cons, but with how this conversation is going, they probably will soon.
“Sign the fucking divorce papers, Tommy,” Tubbo sighs, a little angry about how long this has been going on for, but mostly tired and resigned. And angry, because Tommy’s neck is looking so, so wringable right now, but mostly tired.
Tommy just laughs, and disappears in that frustrating, echoey way they all do. Em’s never far behind him, but Tubbo dispairingly turns to her at the kitchen counter anyway, for his own comfort. To her credit, she does offer him a smile, but at best it’s pitying, and at worst it’s amused. Tubbo thinks it might be both.
“I’d say I’m sorry, but I think we both know it’s going to take more than that to get him to sign those papers,” Em says, and Tubbo groans.
“Why don’t you tell him?” Tubbo asks, desperate, but knowing the answer anyway.
“Because this way, it’s—”
“One thousand times funnier,” Tubbo finishes for her. He lacks the energy to even attempt to mock Tommy’s tone, but Tubbo hears his voice ringing in his head anyway. Em laughs, and then she disappears too. Tubbo squints at the place where they both were, like if he stares for long enough they will both reappear as reasonable, normal, willing-to-sign-the-divorce-papers sort of people. They don’t, because God hates Tubbo, and the world hates Tubbo, and the universe hates Tubbo.
The only thing that the universe did right was make sure that Tommy didn’t have the foresight to make him sign a prenup. At least Tubbo can get Tommy’s money when he finally signs the divorce papers.
If he ever signs the divorce papers.
Tubbo slams his head against the wall again.
-
Tubbo_: never get married
pactw: ?
Tubbo_: dont do it pac
pactw: ???????
#sorry i think im Really funny#also this has been stuck in my head all day bc i think marriage fraud tommy & tubbo is so fucking funny to me#like yea. tommy conned that man into getting married.#nothing better than that#tommyinnit#tubbo#qsmp#clingy duo#fanfic#fanfiction#.writing
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I think it'd be funny if we made Kakashi even younger.
Can you imagine Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura finding out that Kakashi is only a handful of years older than them?!
I mean, with how little we see of his face it's extremely difficult to tell how old he is...
It was one thing when he was prepubescent and short with an unbroken voice, but once his voice dropped and he reached an average adult height... How would anyone be able to tell?
He's strong, highly ranked, mature for his age, and the proper height for an adult with an adult voice. Anyone who didn't already know his age would be liable to mistakenly assume he's older than he actually is, especially with the grey hair.
And it's not like it's out of the realm of possibility for a teenager to be a jounin sensei—take Minato, for example. He was, what, seventeen? And as talented as Minato was, he's nothing compared to Kakashi when it comes to rising through the ranks at a young age.
I'm pretty sure Kakashi broke literally every record there was when it came to "youngest ever [blank]". Academy student, genin, chūnin, jōnin, ANBU, ANBU Captain... Sure, Itachi eventually beat him in one or two of those, but at the time Kakashi was the sole record-holder; There'd never been anyone like him before.
If we just modify Kakashi's already contradictory timeline... Unimportant info below about the details for just how this could potentially work in canon!!
—WAIT. FORGET ALL THAT.
If you want to read my calculations as to how this could canonically work you may direct your attention below, however I have just come up with a far better and far simpler and also quite possibly both funnier and sadder idea:
Time-travel, but not in any way you're thinking...
Most people assume the reason why they didn't hear much of Kakashi's exploits over the years is because he was in ANBU and so everything was Top Secret and extremely covert...
But what if the real reason was because Kakashi had somehow been sent about a decade into the future? Hence explaining how he could be a teenager still when he was once the Yondaime's student.
Also possible: Kakashi was somehow held in stasis for the past decade—sealed, perhaps? Trapped? Or maybe the work of a foreign shinobi's jutsu (kekkei genkai?) that took about a decade or so to break/deactivate...
Or, my personal favorite:
He was investigating the Uzushiogakure ruins and got caught in one of their defensive seals — one that would seal him for a maximum of ten years, with the intention of giving Uzushio shinobi as much time as possible to deal with whatever intruder(s) got caught in the trap.
Without Kushina or Minato or any other Uzumaki seal experts however, deactivating the seal would be basically impossible — luckily, the seal was set up so that once time ran out Kakashi would be automatically released.
And he was! Ten years later, with little baby Naruto all grown up and almost ready to be placed on a genin team — his genin team.
—
AFFOREMENTIONED DUMB CALCULATIONS FOR HOW THIS COULD POTENTIALLY FIT INTO THE CANONICAL TIMELINE BELOW 👇
—
It's probably boring!! You don't have to read it!!
⚠️ You have been warned!! ⚠️
(It's mostly just me brainstorming, honestly...)
—
Genin at five, chūnin at six... Then he stalls at chūnin for a while before eventually advancing to jōnin at twelve (wherein Obito "dies").
He's approximately thirteen when Rin is killed leading to him joining ANBU, and then fourteen when Naruto is born and the Kyūbi is unleashed on the village, causing Minato and Kushina to sacrifice themselves.
In canon, he is then twenty-six years old when he becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei...
For starters, I vote we cut those six years of chūnin limbo before Kakashi becomes jōnin, dropping him to about twenty-or-so.
Then again, this is fanfic—who cares about canon timelines?
If we put him on the hyper-speed fast-track...
4: Academy student
5: Genin
6: Chūnin
7. Jōnin (Obito dies)
8. ANBU (Rin dies)
9. Naruto's birth (Minato & Kushina die)
Is this ridiculous? Yes! But who cares?
9+12=21
Hm... That's not right.
Alright, this is getting a bit annoyingly complicated.
Even if I downgrade Naruto to eleven (because for a long time I was convinced for some reason that Naruto was eleven while the rest of his peers were twelve, and I still have absolutely no clue where I got that idea from) that would still make Kakashi about twenty. Hm...
Ugh, I'll figure this out later. Can't we just hand-wave it?
—No wait, I have an idea:
While modifying his canon timeline to make him younger is a hassle and a half, the fact remains that until we saw Kakashi Gaiden we didn't actually have any details on his backstory...
In other words? The beginning of the series managed just fine without it, so why don't we just throw it out entirely?
Afterall, this fic is about jōnin-sensei Kakashi—the details of his traumatic childhood are irrelevant, and it's not like early fans had that information to work with anyway.
Naruto is canonically younger than Sasuke (who was a baby during the Kyūbi attack) so we shall put him at eleven to give us some leeway.
Now let's say we wanted to make Kakashi somewhere around sixteen to eighteen during canon—that would require him to be five to seven years old when Minato dies.
Now let's compress his timeline some more:
Considering the Konoha 9 all attended the very first chūnin exams after they graduated, I don't see any reason why Kakashi couldn't do the same—and unlike them he's a prodigy so it's basically guaranteed that he'd pass. (And that's assuming he didn't get a field promotion...)
Give him up to a year to become jōnin, and then have him join ANBU almost immediately after.
Some months later, Naruto is born and the Yondaime dies.
To compress it further, I am making his graduation even more ridiculous:
Academy student at three, genin and then chūnin at four, jōnin and ANBU at five. God, can you imagine a five-year-old ANBU? That'd be terrifying. Naruto is born around the time he turns six, and eleven years later Kakashi passes a genin team for the first time and is made a jōnin-sensei at seventeen, just like Minato-sensei was.
It'll take Team 7 a while to realize that, however.
...WAIT A MINUTE.***
Why am I even bothering to promote him prior to Minato's death? Am I, perhaps, an idiot?
Minato becomes his sensei as soon as he graduates to genin at five years old, but before that Kakashi spent a lot of time as his apprentice and they bonded. Shortly after Team 7 is formed the Kyūbi attack happens and Minato dies — the how doesn't matter, so don't worry about it.
The war is over so instead of Kannabi Bridge they go on some other dangerous mission with the same results, except this time the reason Minato isn't there is because he's dead.
They send some other inadequate chūnin or jōnin in his place, but they promptly get killed early on in the mission, perhaps at the same time that Rin gets kidnapped.
Kakashi is chūnin at this point so he naturally takes charge, despite being a five or six year old and Obito being — I don't know, twelve? Significantly older.
Obito dies, then Rin, and this time it's the stupid Sandaime that sticks Kakashi in ANBU like he's an annoying unwanted child that he wants to keep out of sight and thoroughly occupied — at least, until he needs a jōnin sensei for the Kyūbi's Jinchūriki and the Last Uchiha...
So, final version:
Five years old when Minato dies and Naruto is born, and about five or six years old when Obito and Rin die and Kakashi gets stuck in ANBU, followed by eleven years of Naruto growing up while Kakashi's in ANBU makes him... About sixteen to seventeen years old when Kakashi becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei.
To Kakashi, this feels almost poetic. (Same age as Minato-sensei was...)
#hatake kakashi#kakashi hatake#kakashi sensei#kakashi#naruto#team 7#au#naruto au#fanfic idea#fanfic prompt#fan fic ideas#fanfiction ideas#fanfiction prompts#fan fiction idea#naruto fic#naruto fanfiction#kakashi fanfiction#kakashi fic#kakashi gaiden
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i was feeling shiratorizawa + semiten and kawashira hcs so y'all know the drill LET'S GO
goshiki has 100% forgotten that he sleeps in a bottom bunk bed and consequently has shot up awake at the sound of his alarm only to bang his head on the underside of the top bunk bed
or the ceiling if he has the top bunk it's the same either way
also for some random reason i really enjoy thinking about semi and peach green tea. idk he feels like such a peach green tea person
fun fact when i first got into hq i made a list in my notes app where i could keep track of what i thought EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER (organized by team) would order at a boba shop/cafe so i could reference it for fics. i just looked at it for the first time in years. i apparently put down strawberry black tea for semi which still remains a pretty good choice i think
you know what. semi can be a strawberry black tea AND a peach green tea person. he goes for peach green tea when he feels like straying from his usual strawberry black tea. there i fixed the problem we're back on track
tendou uses the excuse of going on boba runs for the team to get alone time with semi. he'll be like "haha i can't get ALL the drinks by myself!! eita come with me :3" and semi just sighs but is honestly secretly really pleased that tendou would choose him out of everyone to run errands with
the greatest love language of all: running errands together
i actually think that, all things considered, semi was probably a little bit insecure and a little bit shy when it came to performing
like yeah he doesn't mind BEING in the spotlight. but he had to work on thinking he was good enough for it at first if that makes sense??? and i think being benched for shirabu probably exacerbates that
he's not used to showing other people his songs and his music!!! he's not used to being vulnerable!! he's not used to believing that he's skilled!!! because obviously that didn't work out in volleyball!! what if semi isn't actually as good at music as he thought himself to be?
tendou of course is determined to make him throw all these thoughts out the window
furudate please give us the secret cultural festival arc where semi gets a chance to shine because of his musical talents . . .
actually since shiratorizawa is a bunch of rich kids i wonder if yamagata has a smartphone bc i just think that'd make him constantly losing it 100x funnier
yamagata: "can everyone shut the fuck up for like five minutes i lost my phone and need help listening for the vibrations"
honestly why do i feel like half the times yamagata has "lost" his phone was really just tendou messing with him
like he's in the foreground running around looking for it while tendou is in the background snapping selfies with it or whatever
reon, ushijima, and yamagata like to go jogging together early in the morning. semi tried it once and then promptly decided never again
i actually think soft quiet early mornings are reon's favorite time of day!! he gets some peace to himself and he gets to see the sunrise bleed into the sky and he gets that crisp sweet air of fresh dew in the dawn and it's so so comforting to him
god i don't know how he does it i could never be that much of a morning person
however this does also mean reon goes to bed at like nine pm at the latest which tendou is personally offended by
reon the early bird riser who probably does yoga or some shit before meeting ushijima and yamagata vs tendou the night owl who stays up til three reading manga in the dark
genuinely how is tendou functioning at practice he probably stays up til three like four out of seven days of the week
(sorry i know i'm dunking on tendou a lot i'll stop now)
kawanishi will never admit it but he is so incredibly fond of the height difference between him and shirabu
it allows shirabu to fit his head perfectly in the crook of kawanishi's neck during bus rides and such and it makes kawanishi's heart flutter every time
but also kawanishi is MISERABLE during spring because shirabu can't comfortably do that when kawanishi is prone to sneezing like every five minutes
shirabu, teacher's pet that he is, is really good friends with the school librarian
oh my god . . . kawashira blue sky complex au . . . i would actually cry . . .
okay anyways shirabu kenjirou is really good friends with the school librarian and that's how he finds out that the school librarian used to know ushijima's dad
wouldn't that be crazy tho????? i'm thinking it was either the same librarian that utsui had or it was a close friend of utsui's who became the school librarian after they graduated and stuff. i'm kind of leaning towards the second one bc i feel like that makes more sense
i just. can you imagine how alone ushijima had to feel. can you imagine how suffocating it had to be. like there's plenty of reason to assume that his mom's side (and perhaps the mom herself) ended up disliking utsui and i wouldn't be surprised if they tried to scrub him out of ushijima's life
new idea guys utsui comes back and gets with the shiratorizawa librarian
i'm KIDDING
(mostly)
honestly i just think this scenario would really show off how much shirabu and ushijima mean to each other because i think that gets underestimated a lot
they trust each other!!! they respect each other!!!! they understand each other!!! ushijima who knows that he is to be used for his pure raw strength and that that's all shirabu wants to do for him and shirabu who wants to bring out the best in ushijima and thinks of himself as someone who serves ushijima!!!!! shirabu and ushijima who both think they're being used by the other but they don't care because that works best for them!!!! it's their way of showing respect!!! by handing the reigns over!!!!
okay that's a really serious oversimplification of what i'm actually thinking but i got like five hours of sleep and i'm running on two mugs of some strong ass lotus green tea i trust you guys y'all get what i mean
like idk i think ushijima wouldn't really know what to do with shirabu when they first meet in their second and first years. quiet upperclassman who is occasionally a jerk but mostly does not mean to be and his equally quiet underclassman who IS a jerk and DOES mean to be. they'd be so fucking funny together. they back each other up in ways they don't even realize. they could leave entire crowds in tears on accident
actually . . . the poor third years back then who had to deal with this first year they thought was quiet and composed and unassuming and totally chill. but was, in fact, completely unchill
shirabu's gone to bat for every single member of the team at some point btw. soekawa ushijima reon yamagata semi tendou etc etc. none of them have ever witnessed it though word just gets passed around to them like shirabu is some honor-defending ninja who only works in the shadows
and then it really surprises shirabu when they come to bat for HIM
i mean i just. i think shirabu is really used to being independent. is used to doing things by himself. he's not used to other people sticking up for him or other people trying to guide him (which could be another reason why he clashes with semi). it's not that he thinks he's perfect but like. he's never had people who wanted to do that for him before!!
but now he's got goshiki who WANTS compliments from him and he's got kawanishi who loves him for whatever reason and he's got the upperclassmen who ruffle his hair and swing an arm around his shoulders and tell him ot text when he needs help and he's just like ???? like a system error.
give it up for shirabu kenjirou everyone i love him
#MAN it has been a long time#uhhh sorry i think this one may seem a bit all over the place LMFAO#but yeah i really love shirabu :333#ushijima wakatoshi#tendou satori#yamagata hayato#semi eita#oohira reon#kawanishi taichi#shirabu kenjirou#goshiki tsutomu#semiten#kawashira#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyuu hcs#sou says stuff
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happy 1 year of r&r :)
i know it's a lil cringe to like. celebrate the birthday of a series on ao3 but r&r is literally my child. my baby. i birthed this series. and you all signed up for this when u started reading my fics thank u
soooooooo thank u guys for all the support i've received over r&r i know it's hard to stay a consistent reader when my posting schedule is entirely non existent but i am so grateful for everyone who's stuck around this long and been with me for this journey (calling it a journey because a year ago i did not have any sort of overarching plot in mind and now we're 17? 18? fics deep and so many things have happened and i'm usually just as surprised as my readers) it's rlly u guys that have kept me going this long
ANYWAY. i rewrote this like 500 times cause i hate being like. overly sappy on this account because it's way funnier to act like a celebrity with a huge ego, but real talk i am so proud of everything i've done w this series & what it's become in the past year
i've been posting my writing online since i was like 10, so we're going on almost 9 years now and i don't think i've ever ever ever received as much support for something as i have for r&r and something about that is soooo special to me??? idk it's just so nice to see a completely self indulgent series become so loved by others, especially since the only other fics i had up before gmm&m were a little more on the "i'm gonna write what seems popular right now" side???
like shoutout to everyone who was here before/around when i started the series because my account was so empty like. 2 fics and one gets updated every 6 months. r&r pulled me out of the trench i fear. it also cured me of my very horrible disease that makes me delete all my fics after 9 months and then completely disappear from a fandom so everyone say thank you r&r
but yeah idk where i'm going with this i'm very grateful for r&r and all the friends i've made and people i've met through it because i was very lonely before i rejoined tumblr and r&r was like. 90% of the reason i made my account
AND SPEAKING OF FRIENDS. thank u to
@spidergrotto & @sapoteylx for being the first ppl i met on here to openly talk about and support r&r which i thought was so so cool even if you guys have become my haters in the past few months i've known you :/ thank u r&r nation u keep me humble and miserable (and i am very thankful for our friendship i think some aspects of r&r would be very different if we'd never met)
& ao3 user classactical because you've been here since like. a month or two into the series i think and i always always always look forward to your comments because i feel like if you comment, i did a good job on the fic LOL thank u for sticking around for so long, even if ao3 has been actively working against you for a whiiiiile
there's a lot more i want to say and a lot of people i want to mention but that would take a very long time and i always feel weird tagging a lot of people in posts so just know if u read r&r we are kissing rn. or high fiving idk whatever floats ur boat i guess
but yeah anyway tl:dr happy birthday r&r i'm very proud of this series & very thankful for everyone who has read any part of it ever u guys are so cool and hot and have amazing taste and i'm taking your kudos and bookmarks etc. as you swearing your allegiance to me and promising me your undying support no matter what (legally binding btw) thank u guys
#r&r tease#ough i cannot believe r&r is a year old#happy birthday r&r you are my favorite child#gonna go post that fic now#or in like 10 minutes#idk i haven't edited anything#stay tuned
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Can you write something where norm gets jealous about reader spending alot of time with Jake? Sorry about the vague request!
Sorry this took so long to answer :((
Silly thing
Pairing- Norm x reader
Summary- Norm gets jealous of you hanging with Jake so much not knowing the full story he decides to ignore you.
A/N- this low-key sucks and it's short I'm sorry 😔
Norm wasn't a particularly jealous man. He knew where you and him stood, you were his mate as you were his. You two had mated before Eywa so long ago so why did he feel this irritating feeling that wouldn't go away because you chose to go hunting with Jake Sully.
If it was the first time you said yes he would be okay but it seems like everytime he wants to hang out with you Jake is stealing you away for something, whether it be he needed help tying something up, weaving something, braiding hair, or right now for example hunting. His ears twitch as he watches you laugh at a joke Jake made.
He could be that funny could he? Was he funnier than him? Did you get bored of him? So many things ran through his mind he didn't even realize you walked over to him. You gave him a big hug and that is what pulled him to reality. He didn't recopirate the hug like he usually did. You blink your big eyes at him and he tries so hard not to fumble under your gaze as he quickly walks away from you.
He knew it was childish to keep his feelings in and giving you the silent treatment but he just didn't want to face the fact that he was jealous.
So for the next five days he didn't say one word to you. Little did he know how much it hurts you.
You didn't know why he wasn't speaking to you, you wanted to know so bad but he wouldn't talk to you. It hurts seeing him talk to everyone and you finally had enough.
He was in a healers tent collecting something and you finally had a chance to corner him. He was in his avatar form so here you stand looking up at him, fire in your spirit as you snatch the curtain down. He looks at you, "Y/N." He says as if he hasn't been ignoring you for five days. "Don't fucking Y/N me." You say the curse in your sentence caught him off guard and then he realized Jake must've taught you it. "You ignore me." You say and he feels bad as he hears how shaky your voice has become.
"No I haven't." He said.
"No." You say and you tried your best not to curse him out in both English and Na'vi. "Yes, now go hang out with your new boyfriend Jake." He says and then your anger soothed down as his words entered your ears and tucked the sides of your head.
"I do not understand-"
"You've been hanging out with him for the past two weeks. We haven't had a day to ourselves." He confessed. You gasp. "Oh I didn't notice but we haven't been doing what you think we have." You quickly say.
He rolls his eyes. "No no I am not lying, I have been helping him plan something for him and Neytiri's anniversary, whatever that is." You whisper the last part.
When the words left you he dropped to his knees and all kinds of apologies came from him. "I'm so sorry baby I didn't know I was jealous I will never ignore you over something silly again." He says wrapping his arms around your waist.
You help him to us feet before placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Just don't do it again." You say.
#avatar 2#avatar 2022#avatar#avatar 2009#avatar way of water#avatar x reader fluff#avatar x reader#avatar x y/n#avatar x you#norm should have had more screen time#norm avatar#norm spellman x y/n#norm spellman x reader#norm spellman#avatar shit
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22. Puzzling - TMNT 2012
Don't worry, guys, that wasn't supposed to happen.
When the bit of Kraang tech he's examining (read: poking randomly in the hopes that something will happen) explodes, Donatello's not sure if he or Raphael shrieks louder. He thinks it's Raph. Which would be way funnier under different circumstances.
He blinks against sooty particulates. "Huh, well, that wasn't supposed to happen."
He's amid a cloud of unexpectedly thick, slightly pink smoke. Which is on-brand but frankly annoying. He waves at the air in a vain attempt to disperse it. Maybe he can move this operation to the kitchen, work under the exhaust hood. He should probably install one in here. He gives up flailing his arms, and backs away from the desk. Step one to solving any problem is getting some distance. Step two is—oh, that's weird. The cloud doesn't seem to have moved since the initial explosion. What kind of particles are these? He hasn't seen Kraang tech do this before.
The moment he remembers Raph is also the moment he trips over him. With a yelp, he hits the ground. Hard. Raph giggles. Rude. He's going to have at least two bruises tomorrow. And his scream was definitely louder than Raph's, so he's lost any right to make fun.
"Dude," Donnie groans, pushing to his feet. At least he's away from the Kraang smoke, "Why'd you trip me?"
"I don't know," comes the high-pitched reply, "Why're you so big?"
By the time his eyes clear, he's pretty sure it's a genuine question, not an insult about his height. It makes more sense once he looks down, down, down to find Raph miniaturised.
Donnie throws his hands to his head. "That wasn't supposed to happen, either!" Raph just giggles again.
"Leo!"
As far as they can tell, based on Raph's appearance and memories, he's about five. Donnie can't even remember being that young. Which he counts as a good thing because kids are weird. Or maybe that's just mutant turtle kids. He doesn't have experience with normal children to establish a baseline. Leo and Sensei do, though, and they seem unperturbed by Raph's behavior. Even Mikey takes the whole thing in stride. He is, in fact, absolutely thrilled and oscillates between gathering blackmail material and doing whatever Raph asks.
Donnie will admit he's having trouble making sense of it all. First, and he thinks he’s mentioned this, that was not supposed to happen. He can't figure out how a broken Kraang tech part without any detectable energy source could have caused something like this. Which naturally leads to the question of how he's meant to fix it. Raph has no idea what happened, either, so he's no help. Worse, he just might be the most confusing being Donnie has ever met. Take yesterday, for example.
He's not sure what time it is when he stumbles out of the lab for breakfast, so it might not technically be in the range of the day at which it is appropriate to call a meal breakfast. His brain is too full of viscous pink Kraang smoke to care. It must be some mealtime because everyone but Master Splinter is in the kitchen when he arrives. Leo is at the island supervising Raph and Mikey's mess-making by the stove.
Raph perks up, "Hey Donnie! I wanna tell you a question."
"Ask nicely, Raph," Leo reminds, hiding a smile behind the rim of his tea cup.
"Please, I wanna tell you a question." He barrels on, "How do you open your labrador?”
Open his what? Donnie stares at the space above Raph's head, trying to parse the question until a nudge from Leo resets his brain. "Say what?"
"Your labrador!" He flings his arms out, nearly knocking himself to the floor. Mikey catches the lip of his shell just in time.
“What Labrador? Raph, I don't have a—”
“Yeah, you do!” He's angry of a sudden. Of course, he is. But it's weird. It's not the first time Donnie's made him mad since the incident, but he's never gotten in anyone's face or stormed off with a huff. He just screeches until he gets whatever it is that he wants. It's Raph's anger, but it's not. “It’s how you get to the place you do all your smart stuff!"
Mikey swoops in, crouching to squeeze Raph gently, then translates, “He means the door to your lab, bro.”
“The door? Oh. Why would—?" Donnie sighs heavily, sinking into the stool next to Leo. “Raph, that’s the lab door,” he enunciates, “Not a Labrador. A Labrador is a dog breed."
Just like that, Raph's face unscrunches into something thoughtful. “So it’s not a labrador?”
Well, at least the exasperation is familiar. "I literally just said that. It’s a normal door.” Leo clicks at him warningly. Come on, what is he supposed to do here? Seriously, this feels surreal. Maybe this whole dialogue is a dream, and he's hunched over his desk right now. He straightens his shell to test for any worse-than-usual aching.
“Okay," Raph says. Then he turns around. Just like that. As if the entire conversation never happened. Never mind his original question or whatever he was trying to ask. He makes no sense, literally none at all.
But, you know what, fine. Donnie has to eat anyway so he can go back to the "place where he does all his smart stuff" or whatever. So he can figure out how to get his actual brother back, who at least makes sense most of the time.
Leo finishes his tea, returning Raph's enthusiastic wave goodbye, and then there are three. Mikey and Raph finally settle down to eat whatever noxious concoction they've whipped up as Donnie cleans his dishes. Freshly fed, his brain refills with extradimensional smoke and engineering.
"Well, that's boring!"
He fumbles with his mug at the sudden shout. A glance over his shoulder finds Raph, who had been eating quietly, now glaring at him.
“You should name that boring normal door Labrador so we can just call it that anyway," he says firmly.
He's not sure why he tries to ask, “Why would I—”
“Or or!" And it's like a switch again, anger suddenly dissipating. "We could name it something cooler! Like Thundoor from Crognard!”
“Thundarr,” He corrects. It's too late, Mikey's joins in.
“That’s awesome, little dude!" Mikey laughs buoyantly. "We should name all the furniture!”
“Yeah!”
And Donnie is so tired and so lost, and Raph is too much and too little of his brother at the same time it’s not even funny anymore. He doesn't think it ever was.
“Come one, Dee!" Mikey hoists Raph onto his shoulders, naturally content to ignore the messy kitchen. "Help Raphie and I name everything in the lair!”
Donnie tries to shake his head as Raph reaches for him. “Can you! Can you, please? Just for a little bit, please, Donnie, please?” Oh, now he recalls his manners.
"No, Raph." He bangs his mug onto the drying rack, ignoring Mikey's frown. "I don't have time for your nonsense questions and weird games. I'm trying to fix you."
It's not until he slams closed the lab door that the words trailing after his dramatic exit finally click. A puzzled sort of muttering from Raph: "Fix me? But I’m not broken."
So maybe he got a little too worked up, as tired as he was. But he's better now! He's eaten. He's slept five hours. He's determined to sit here until he cracks this thing.
And then someone bangs on the door.
He drops his head with a groan. How is he supposed to heroically solve all of their problems in these conditions? “Who is it, and what do you want," he shouts into the pages of his notebook.
"Once a second!"
One second, he mouths to himself. He listens to Raph struggle with the door for a lot of seconds and hopes he'll give up. He probably won't. Donnie better unlock it before he hurts himself. Or worse, starts screaming. Only because Leo would find some way to blame Donnie for it.
He shoves the door open, not at all irritated. Or vindicated either, when Raph falls on his shell and his sai skitter across the floor. Wait. “I thought Sensei took those out of your—Hey!”
Five-year-old Raph may not be much of a ninja but he is pretty slippery. He scrambles under Donnie's arm and launches into the rolling desk chair.
“Raphael." He glowers, summoning his inner Leo, "You are not allowed in the lab—”
“Without you,” he recites, spinning the chair so Donnie only catches glimpses of his cheeky smile. “But you’re here too! So it’s okay.”
It most definitely is not. Raph has no understanding of lab safety right now, so if Raph stays in here, then Donnie will have to keep an eye on him, and if Donnie has to watch Raph, then he can't focus on his work. He does not want Raph in here, and he says so.
“Donnie, I'll be so so so good. Please!” Oh, Mikey absolutely taught him how to do that with his eyes. Not cool, Mike.
“Raph," Donnie faux whines back. "I need to work. Go play with Leo or Mikey."
"Ugh," Raph flops onto his shell, letting his head and limbs hang. “But Sensei and Leo are medating, and Mikey’s with Red."
“Meditating," he corrects, "And I know you know her name is April.”
“Casey calls her Red.”
“Yeah, well, Casey’s a—” Raph looks at him with wide, innocent eyes. A promise on his face that anything Donnie says will be repeated. "It’s polite to call people by their name."
Raph hums, continuing to spin idly, “But I don't call you Donatello, I call you Donnie. And you call me Raph or sometimes Fai.”
Not a bad point. But what was that second thing? Fai? Oh. His brain retrieves fuzzy, forgotten memories. That's right. When they were both little, that had been his nickname for Raph. Just between the two of them. He can't remember when he stopped using it.
“Right," he says slowly. "But those are nicknames. They're a shorter version of your name.”
“Oh, okay.” Then Raph rolls out of the chair, clunking to the ground shell first, and wanders away to explore the lab.
Donnie retakes the seat, resigning himself to further interruptions. Part of his brain is devoted to thinking up better excuses in case this is one of those conversations Raph returns to without warning. The rest of his awareness is on Raph as he pokes and prods at books and equipment and even poor Timothy. It takes the better part of a half hour for him to realise he's still sitting at his desk not moving a muscle.
He growls, gripping his head. Raph is on him in an instant. "What's wrong? Can I help? Do you need a book? Do you want one of mine? I can get Leo! Or Sensei, or—"
"No," Donnie snaps.
He gapes as Raph's beak trembles and his eyes fill with tears. "You're crying. Why are you crying? Please stop crying." He slides to the floor next to Raph, "I'm sorry? It's just. I'm trying to focus! I need to fix you, but I don't—"
“I don’t want you to fix me!” He shouts, scrubbing his face and hiccupping. “I just want to play! Why won’t you play with me anymore?"
“Raph, I," Donnie looks down at his hands, "I don’t have time,” he finishes lamely.
“Yes, you do! You’re just being mean!” He runs out of the lab. Probably to someone who actually understands him. Someone who tries. Donnie wonders if he’ll ever stop messing things up for Raph.
Because as far as they can tell, this version of Raph went to bed one day, and the family he found upon waking was suddenly different. Of course, Raph is frustrated and confused and probably a little scared. He's not just normal Raph in a smaller body. Donnie might've realised that sooner if he'd spent more time with him instead of causing one mess after the other and then hiding from it all in his lab.
Donnie doesn't remember when he was five, but he's heard Sensei's stories about their childhood. The ones about his younger self hanging on Raph's every word. That one embarrassing retelling of the biggest fight Donnie ever caused by announcing Raph was his favorite brother. His father's memories of them doing everything together, at least until Donnie really got into science. So he steps out of the lab and locks it behind him. His brother, this brother, needs to come first.
He must look contrite enough that Leo only grills him a little before he points to Raph's room. After a single breath of indecision, he sits, shell against the door.
“Hey, Fai?” he starts, tugging at his fingers, “I’m really sorry. I have been pretty mean lately, haven’t I?” It takes a few moments, but a little thud echoes on the other side of the door.
Relieved, he continues, “I’m not as good at this as I used to be. I might need your help. But I’m out of my lab right now, and we can play whatever you want.”
Donnie hits the floor before he realises the door has swung open. Little Raph is looking down at him, eyes still watery but excited. "Really? Anything? Even Space Heroes!"
And Donnie almost can't believe it's that easy. He smiles with Raph's infectious joy. “Space Heroes? Who are you, Leo?”
Raph collapses into him with a laugh that banishes the rest of his tears as Donnie reaches out, tickling him just like he's seen their big brother do. He's still giggling when Donnie staggers to his feet. “Think I could use some bedding to build us the Dauntless?”
Raph cheers. Launching into an explanation of his favorite episodes and characters as he directs them around the lair to collect supplies. If this isn't blackmail material, Donnie doesn't know what is. Raph will never be able to deny that he likes Space Heroes ever again. Once Donnie figures out how to reverse this Kraang-smoke-induced de-aging that is.
He does still have to. They need Raph as he should be: their teammate, their protector, their equal. But if he were here in those roles right now, Donnie knows he would have heard a thousand times over that he needs to sleep, to eat, to take a break for at least five minutes, Don, come on.
So he'll try. He'll take breaks to hang out with his favorite brother. He'll get a lot of experience building sheet spaceships and pillow forts. And by the end of it all, Donnie will realise his little brother really does just want to play and ask silly questions that probably don’t seem so silly to him. He'll decide this little version of Raph isn't a puzzle of confusing emotions. He's the same pieces he's always been, unfiltered and untethered from all the pain and fear of their older selves.
And so, even after Raph returns to 16, whenever the thought creeps up on Donnie that he's not doing enough, that he needs to fix it. He'll lock his lab behind him and say, "Hey, Fai! Wanna play something?"
#march for raph#rolls in late without starbucks#but look! it's the official start of raph's shrunken ordeal#credit to my awesome little sisters#whose interactions with me when they were five inspired and indirectly provided a lot of little raph's dialogue in this#five year olds are so cool you guys#this one got away from me in more ways than one#ended up being more donnie centric than i intended but hopefully there's enough raph in here for y'all#plus it just might be the longest fic i've ever written#cause i could not get these two to stop talking#raphael hamato#donatello hamato#michelangelo hamato#leonardo hamato#tmnt 2012#tmnt#shrunkified raph and the aftermath#writing off the rails#trying out a new tag system for my original posts#train themed because i'm hilarious
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I love reading sick!reader fics more than anything, but I just had the funniest thought and now I can’t stop thinking about it:
Matt Murdock would be ever the considerate mother hen when his partner is sick, we’ve established that, but I’ve been coughing for the past twelve hours with only five minutes in between fits and they’re so loud, even my mom in the next room just texted me if I’m “suffocating or still alive”. And you can pretty much hear it through the entire building, too.
IMAGINE poor Matt having to live with that for three days until the cold gets better or the medicine starts to take effect… I know he’d take good care of me, but I also know he’d have to resist the urge to run at the ghastly sound of the mucus coming up my throat and whatever’s left stuck in my lungs. Let alone the wheezing breath and the snot I keep blowing into the several tissues around me. Or touching me while I’m burning up like a bonfire? That man is sensitive enough already, he doesn’t need my head to give him third-degree burns.
It would either go something like this (the classic):
“Sweetheart, you’re burning up, your skin is clammy and you’re breathing funny. Did you take any medicine for that cough? Do you need me to get you something for your sore throat? How about a shower, a bath, some soup? Well, even though you don’t want it, I still got you all of that. And now I’m getting undressed and will cuddle you until you can finally fall asleep again. No buts.”
Or he’d completely lose his mind:
“Sweetheart, baby, love of my life, I worship the ground you walk on and I’d do anything for you, but I can’t possibly be next to you when you’re coughing like that. It’s like you’re screaming into my ear. But I’m gonna stay here anyway because your lungs sound funny, you’re hot and your nose is bleeding, I need to make sure you make it through the night. Let me get you some Tylenol and then I’ll just… sit here and wait until you’re asleep. While you quite literally sound like you’re dying. A broken record in my ear. Yup, no worries at all. I’ll just… sit it out. This is not about me.”
And every time I’d cough, he’d shoot up, check if I’m still alive and then he’d put some headphones on to ignore the sound of my body quite literally ejecting whatever virus it’s got. It sounds nasty even to me, so I can’t possibly imagine what it would be like to someone who can hear the Subway moving underneath his apartment, or a woman screaming all the way across the city.
I know he’d love me and take the best care of me even though he’s suffering, but that would be torture on his senses, let alone his worry radar. He’d be so on edge, he wouldn’t even get any rest, but he’d never leave me. He would try to tune it out, but as someone with covid lungs (even though she’s fully vaccinated and had it two times) tuning out the sound of my soul leaving my body is pretty impossible, let alone the sniffling because I can’t stand using tissues anymore at this point because everything’s raw.
So, I love sick fics and they offer me great comfort, but it is impossible for me to stop thinking about this now and I somehow find that funnier than I should. That’s probably the fever talking or whatever.
Poor Matty… He’d go absolutely insane, and he’d be more than relieved when the cough is over and I’m on my feet again.
And if he’s sick? Boy, you need to tie him down and knock him out. He hates being sick and whatever comes with it. The way it feels, sounds and turns his senses into mush. He’s delirious when he has a fever and he acts like a reckless child. You need to sedate him or he’ll actually crawl up the walls (like a cat).
So yeah, that’s that.
#matt murdock x reader#matt murdock#daredevil#daredevil x reader#matt murdock fic#daredevil fic#sickfic#matt murdock fluff#matt murdock angst#matt murdock x you#random thought#matt murdock headcanon#lizzi talks
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This might be controversial but I think that Flandre Scarlet from Touhou Project would swear a lot. She's eternally a tween vampire and her Japanese lines use a lot of rude intonation. I think that she's like a middleschooler who just learned the f word and is using it all the time with her friends now that she can get away with it except she's been that way for five centuries and since she's a vampire who can destroy anything nobody can stop her. Part of my basis for this is this interview in Bohemian Archive in Japanese Red, where Remilia chastises Flandre for calling her "That girl". Chastising Flandre for calling Remilia "That girl" seems a little peculiar with etiquette (which admittedly may be in character for Remilia), but if this would be better translated as Flandre calling Remilia "That b*tch", Remilia's reaction makes more sense and it's also way funnier. (I don't actually know if this is a better translation)
Also, when you consider that Flandre also probably uses Shakespeare era English on account of her age her speech patterns are probably utterly bizarre. It'd get really crazy when you consider that some words which are considered vulgar today were once acceptable in every day speech or had different meanings (sh*t, f*ggot, c*nt). For example:
"Quit dodging my danmaku thou f*cking c*cksucker!"
"Wow, that's some pretty colorful language there Flandre, where did you learn those words?"
"I am over four f*cking centuries thy elder and yet thou hast the audacity to tell me what words I can and cannot use!? F*ck thou, stupid, stupid, b*tch-*ss whore of a witch! I shall use whatever f*cking language I damn well please!"
And also
*Enters a room where someone is playing a bassoon* "Wow [NAME], I had no idea you were so skilled at playing the f*ggot, you really are quite the musician."
Or
"It's getting rather cold in here, Sakuya. Throw another f*ggot on the fire, won't you?"
#touhou#touhou project#flandre scarlet#f slur#swearing#foul mouthed flandre#foul language#incorrect quotes#incorrect touhou quotes#text post#thoughts?
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Mars conjunct Pluto (Synastry)
Now this will somewhat be pulling from my experience as a Sag mars and bruh I swear I know so many people who got my mars conjunct their Pluto. Also not every Sag Pluto will be conjunct my Mars because honestly my mars is at the 22nd degree so the farthest it can go for conjunct (really stretching it) is between 17-27 degrees imo. Sure you could add or subtract a couple of degrees but I’m going to keep it at five degree distance roughly, because the experiences I felt with this aspect in synastry were relatively more intense when the orbs were smaller. Now that I got that out of the way...
LET’S GET STARTED
-I for the most part think it will be so fucking weird to meet a person that you have this aspect with. As the mars person most times I usually get an odd feeling when around people I have this aspect with. For Example: I had met people where the aspect is almost an exact aspect (fucking close orbs bruh) and at first I don’t think much of them...until I decide to talk to them. Then all of the sudden there is this insane connection. We were talking every chance we got and having a great time. Then when we weren’t really talking to each other for the dumbest reason (bruh if I was in a movie you guys would be yelling at the screen cause oof it was so dumb) they would stay on my mind that on the random occasion when we would see each other I would get so antsy (honestly probably angsty as well tbh).
Now being who I am as a person, I will speak up when I disagree with you. For the most part it’s because I in someway trust that you will listen to me and maybe even disagree with me on the topic. For whatever reason people assume I’m mad but really I have an intense way of speaking apparently. But I for the most part don’t mean to be rude, because weirdly enough I will try my hardest to be polite when I argue with someone and somehow it will still be very cutthroat (i guess). I am working on it it just takes time and practice.
I know I rambled a bit but that is just to give context to me as a person, because when it comes to people (where I have Mars conjunct Pluto) they don’t get mad at me like some people usually do but instead they get sad about it. I do wonder if they feel sad about my actions or their own.
People I have this aspect with
-My sister--Some Friends--Probably a fuck ton more people but idk...
Here is another example of when I had this aspect with a coworker of mine. I think me and him had a good amount of aspects and stuff in synastry that attributed to this as well. Anyways we would randomly be close like bruh it was like we had known each other for a long time or even like he was my brother some how. We would play around with each other from play fighting to basic games like rock paper scissors. It’s even funnier considering that when we did talk to each other we would have to stop for a moment because a customer or whatever would come in...like we were still professionals. Then we would go back to joking around and it’s interesting because I felt like I could understand him even when he didn’t know what he wanted to say. Like he wasn’t fluent in English and I wasn’t fluent in Spanish but we would somehow find a way to understand the other person like girl I will pull out google translate as a last resort sometimes. I’ll have to talk about it more another day...
#astrology#astrology observations#mars-pluto#mars synastry#pluto synastry#mars conjunct pluto#mars#pluto#synastry#astrology synastry
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