#yeah i made this instead of packing but im totally normal about him

[loki-cees-all]

Can anyone else not stop thinking about this neck crack from the Loki promos, or are y'all normal?

#loki season 2 #Loki series #Loki laufeyson #can’t decide if I want to help fix his neck or have him crack me open like a glow stick #you cant see it but im actually down on my knees off camera #I’m fine I swear #yeah i made this instead of packing but im totally normal about him

[fucksurass]

Redraw of my oc look look look hes so so DUMB

Lines to no lines. Stubby to less stubby. Circles to fingers. I love how my art just randomly changed one day bc I was experimenting with my style. L-look at it please.

More about Norman Nick Nasher under the fucking cut⬇⬇

Norman is a totally normal boy with a completely normal family. Hes an only child so its just him, his mom and dad. They love him dearly and try their best to raise him correctly. Normal right? The only thing not normal about his family is him which is weird because his name is "Normal" with an N instead of an L. Yeah I lied when I said he was normal.

Norman has a little frog under his hat named Froggo. He loves reptiles a lot but loves frogs the most which is why his hat resembles a lilly pad. He will not believe frogs are not reptiles and no matter how many facts you throw at him he will likely call you gay at the end of it. If he likes you he will talk endlessly about frogs and/or reptiles and he wont stop unless something trivial catches his attention. If he doesnt like you he quite literally will not speak to you at all.

Craig. Doesnt he look like Craig? He doesnt know who Craig is. He has no idea who the guy is which makes you wonder why Craig doesnt like him. They met each other one day and Norman would not stop asking who Craig was. It was- Just imagine this:

"Hey."

"Hi. Who are you?"

"Im Craig."

"Who?"

"Craig."

"Whos Craig."

"Me? I just told-"

"Craig... I have no idea who Craig is."

"Craig is ME."

"My name is Norman. Whos Craig?"

"Dude. Im Craig..."

"Oh. Wanna see my frog?"

"Not really."

"What?! Frogs are cool what-"

"Look I just need you to understand who Craig is. I am Cra-"

"No I dont. Could you tell me who he is? People keep saying I look like him."

"We look nothing alike. Look my name is-"

"Anyway about frogs did you know that [insert very long paragraph on frogs]?"

"Shut up, Norman. Stop talking."

"You must not like frogs... Weirdo."

"No I dont have anything against frogs I- Im leaving."

Would you hate Norman too?

Norman knows he is gay. He is fully aware and uses that to his advantage. He will call anything gay and anyone a fag. He will not stop. Oh youre on your phone too much? Thats gay. You like men? Thats gay. You study for an exam? Thats gay. Youre depressed and in need of a hug? Fag. Why he does this? Scientists have yet to figure it out. Now Norman is in fact in a relationship. Who is he dating? Some kid named Chris. To see gay art of them look into their blog @normris wanna see me cry of yippe? Follow it peas. (And thats how you sell a product)

What is Normans favorite food? Oh its just the most delicious meal ever. Broccoli. Just loves it so so much. Why? No one knows. As far as his parents know they accidentally deprived him vegetables trying to keep him happy. Norman was a quiet baby and they thought he was sad so they spoiled him. He was not sad. He just had beef with his parents because he was shaken up in the womb. Anyway about broccoli!!!! He loves the stuff. He eats it as a snack, for every meal, even just randomly takes some out of his pocket and chows down. His boyfriend recalls the time he pulled out a pack of frozen broccoli while they were coloring together.

Our last unsettling fact about Norman is that he doesnt like the bible. No this is not because his parents are atheists. Its because they encourage him to believe in anything he wants. Because of his he believes in a frog god. Why does he hate the bible? Because it, and I quote, "made the snake a bad guy. Snakes are cool maybe he just wanted eve to be healthy. The bible is gay."

The end. (If you got this far I have a lollipop for you 🍭)

#south park #southpark #south park oc #artists on tumblr #art #digital art #oc artwork #oc art #ocs #my ocs #my oc art #my oc stuff

[cleverhyuck]

helloooooo <33 can i request for 10 and 24 + jeno or jaemin ? :3 - anon

a/n : i’m assuming you want smut — sorry this is a little late too !— thank you for your request !! 💘

* smut begins on page divider !!

-

“don’t test me”

“stop being a bitch”

-

warnings : outdoor sex , degrading , quickie , marking ( hickeys ) , mentions of pregnancy , light choking , creampie , raw ( use protection ^.^ )

wc : royal!au , why is this so long

-

annual balls are a thing. men and women from all over dress up at talk about who knows what. their children mingle around, looking for friends, competitors, significant others, it’s a routine.

in the kingdom, you’ve been going to monthly balls. meeting people of all kinds. some men try to be your husband and some women try to gossip around you.

you don’t mind, of course. the attention is nice, but it’s what you get for being the daughter of the king.

your first encounter with prince!jeno was interesting to say the least. accidentally spitting your drink onto him from laughing at prince chenle’s joke. both of your eyes go wide as you ruined his white blazer with your red fruit punch, splattered all over.

“it looks like he’s been murdered !!” prince chenle points. the other princes; renjun, jaemin, and jisung laugh. prince jeno froze, this has never happened to him ever.

you rush to find napkins ( more like a maid ) and try to clean it. all five of you headed back to the maid quarters to find extra clothes. “i’m sorry” is what you say the whole entire time while cleaning and moving.

in the quarter, prince jeno sends you an eye smile. something about it comforts you, it makes you feel better about what happened.

“seriously princess, don’t worry.” he chuckles and takes off the jacket. some of it is on his button up so he takes that off too, revealing his nice six pack.

your eyes go wide (again) and you can only stare at his chest. prince renjun has to shake you to get your own head out of the gutter. you and prince jeno both blush and you turn away, afraid to make another embarrassing moment.

prince jisung walks next to you and pats your back. “don’t worry princess, at least we all got closer now! let’s drop the formalities.” you look up at him with rosy cheeks and smile.

turning around and holding out a hand you re-introduce yourself. “hi i’m y/n. nice to meet you all.”

over the months you all grew closer together. you met another boy, haechan. he wasn’t at the first party but said he lived it through renjun’s text messages.

you and jeno were especially close. people made dating rumors over you, but you two were just friends.

friends that kiss.

friends that make-out sometimes, friends that have seen each other naked, friends that have snuck out to kiss…

call it friends with benefits, call it being close, jeno preferred to call it “no labels”

even so, jeno was always protective. never letting you talk to another prince for too long, having his hand around your waist most times.

-

as another ball was announced, you decided to have some fun with jeno. a beautiful soft pink dress with a longer than normal thigh slit. the collars of the dress laid on your shoulders, revealing most of your top chest. you looked beautiful. stunning.

this would sure rile him up.

as the guests arrived you welcomed them with hugs and side kisses. once the group arrived, you went for jisung instead of jeno.

pulling him into a hug, you say “i missed you sungie, christ you’ve grown taller too!” you look at him. he smiles and rubs the back of his neck. “thanks noona, but it’s only been a few weeks since i last saw you!”

“a few weeks too long, let’s hang out sometime soon jisung. ride horses on thursday?” you suggest to him. “you bet” he replies.

“ahem.”

turning you see the boys and jeno. “are you guys jealous i didn’t talk to you yet??” you fake whine. chenle shrugs. “why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

“he’s not my-”

“im not her-”

chenle looks at you both. “yeah, sureeee” before leaving to find other guests. jaemin pats jeno’s back while renjun pats yours.

haechan moves you and jeno closer by your shoulders and shakes his head. “good luck.” is all he says to the both of you before walking past you.

“so..” you say, not making eye contact. jeno eyes you up and down before leaning in close to your ear. “don’t test me, princess”

-

the party is going pretty well. jeno and his stares never leave you though. you dance with haechan most of the time. laughing and giggling over whatever while jeno looks like he’s about to break the champagne glass.

haechan totally understands your want to tease jeno and helps you tremendously with that. it’s not like jeno would take you away from the haechan, right? in the dance, you two start doing every extra moves. the crowd backs up a bit and watches you two.

graceful steps and spins have everyone enticed. as it comes to an end, haechan spins you and lifts one of your legs up, he holds onto your lower thigh, revealing the dangerous slit.

as the crowd applauses, you look over at jeno. i swear to god he has the most evil look on his face u cant even explain.

you smile to yourself and move off of haechan, whispering a slight thank you before heading over to where jeno was standing.

“let’s go.” is all he says before grabbing you, practically yanking you outside.

* “stop being a bitch” he says as he manhandles you onto a tree.

“i wasn’t being or acting like anything.” you say. he scoffs and yanks the shoulder straps down your elbow, revealing your strapless bra.

“jeno!” you squeal at him. you quickly ㅡ cover your breasts by crossing your arms but he grabs them and holds them behind the tree.

“stop squirming” he says as hestarts kissing over your chest. jeno leaves miscellaneous hickeys all over and the only thing you can do is throw your head back and moan.

“let’s hurry this up.”

pushing up your dress he parts your underwear and pushes two fingers in. you hiss at his urgency but soon you’re dripping down his knuckles.

moans and whimpers erode from you and jeno smiles at that. before you can cum on his fingers he takes them out and pushes them into your mouth.

“suck.”

as you do, he uses his other hand to loosen his pants. pulling out his member, he strokes it. your legs subconsciously move and he takes his fingers out of your mouth.

“you like watching me stroke myself?” jeno questions. you shyly nod. “fuck.” he whispers. “you’re gonna be the death of me.”

as he aligns with your entrance, you are preparing for the girth that is jeno’s cock. he teases at your slit before pushing in.

you immediately clench around him and moan into his ear. he slowly moves back out before sending a deep thrust into you. “harder..please” you whimper in his ear.

you wrap your arms around his neck as he is pistoning inside of you. your boobs jiggle at the harshness of his thrusts and you soon feel close.

“jeno i’m, i-i’m” you mutter out. he understands and goes harder and faster. “you like that?” he leans in your ear.

“you like being treated like a little slut?”

as your eyes go wide the feeling inside of you bursts. you cum on his cock and moan a little too loudly. the tightness inside you causes jeno to cum as well, the spurts of his cum fills your insides.

as he pulls out, jeno kisses your forehead. he helps you clean up and look like you haven’t had the best fuck of your life.

right as you two walk back inside to the party he looks at you.

“you know i love you right?” he asks.

“i love you too jeno.”

—

send me a prompt!

#cleverhyuck #nct #nct dream #jeno #jeno smut #request

[beann-e]

I have a head cannon that bakugou would not be sweet to who he liked or dated and instead deny it and hate on them even more.

The reason being because he doesn’t really understand feelings so, when he’s talking badly about you he just assumes it’s normal and a bit funny at the lies he’s spitting that his just continuously friends are eating up.

he’s been talking bad about people for years so , who cares if your his s/o your no acceptation all people are equal in his mind. Now lemme explain please fall in line and hold a buddys hand kids we’re going on a trip inside my brain

It wasn’t easy getting the spiky haired male to ask you out honestly if someone asked you , which they’d never dare since they’d never know per bakugous request him saying it’s not their business , how you two got together you would shrug your shoulders and walk off.

It wasn’t that it was a boring day or a simple question that you supplied the answer for. It was that it was unusual.

You’d been at quirk practice after school in the gym like you’d usually do only this time bakugou made his way over to you.

You’d been seeing him more often when you were in the gym and you weren’t sure why until he explained that he was interested in your workout routine saying you two could have a contest to see who’s was more grueling

It seemed like fun so like any competitive person you agreed. Only for him to tap out on day two your laughs swirling around the gym as he fought so hard to say he only lost because he just didn’t like how the air would hit his ass crack anytime he did your little girly squats you’d wrote down for him.

You couldn’t say you weren’t both confused and happy when he let the air calm down before he spoke “ i’m kind of conflicted “ his eyes coming up to look at yours from the floor “ could you maybe help me“

“ of course what’s up “

“ i’m at a standstill “

“ more like a sit still “ you joked eyes peering down at his straight face “ yeah ok let’s imagine that didn’t happen —continue “

“ uh yeah anyways — i’m at a standstill because honestly I like your shit workout “ he shook his head to the floor “ but I also like you so I find myself thinking if I couldn’t get through your workout even though I enjoyed it so much could I “

his voice rasped shakily “ could I get through a relationship with you even though I like you even more “

truthfully you’d wish you’d said no because right now you wanted nothing more than to just be friends with the male sitting across the room from you.

It’s not that you didn’t like him of course you did he was hot , smart, and felt strongly about his goals but, he was an asshole.

Not in the aspect of hes just mean and rude but he was an all around prick as he laughed with his friends from across the room.

Their voices only getting louder as you sat alone a few seats away from them trying to complete some work on your desk you’d just been given “ dude gotta admit class 1-A’s got some hot chicks “

“ yeah honestly minas top three if we’re being truthful “

“mina dude come on have you seen jirou “

“ don’t even get me started “ denkis voice came out in a soft groan “ god I would— “

“ yeah yeah all that jazz but “ seros voice came out soft. His hand coming up to point at the seat as you sat in with your head down eyes furrowed in anger at the math on your paper that wasn’t syncing up with your brain right now

“ y/n “ his fist tightened as he groaned “ y/n could get it on all accounts — the car “

“ you don’t have a car “ denkis voice came out as sero continued

“ the school bathroom “

“ but which one ? because one of you would have to go in the wrong sex’s unless its a handicap or family stal-“

“the fucking dorms “

“ y/n ? “ kirishima asked quickly “ y/n l/n ? “

“ fuck yeah “

“ hmm “ kirishima studied you before shaking his head “ honestly kinda hot never really paid attention to that stuff before though “

“ what the fuck how can’t you “

“ uh i’m more so a personality guy “

“ so by personality would you fuck em ‘ “

“ not to be vulgar but of course “ his answer taking no time “ y’know how fun they’d be in a relationship though not just with sex ? imagine cuddles—fuck —what about cuddle monster y/n maybe ? god that’d be so hot “

denki getting restless as he held his thoughts in from the other males. His mind spazzing before finally getting to speak “ i’d fuck her too “ he yelled everyone’s eyes going sharp on the boy before he coughed “ id rock it too — we’re talking about getting mullets “

“ oh boys that’d be kinda hot “ you said laughing sarcastically sero turning to you smiling softly “ oh yeah on who in particular “

“ mm totally blondie over there “

“ the fuck ? “ his eyes shot away from denkis and moved to yours anger pouring through his gaze making you jerk back a little in surprise “ the hell you mean i’d look hot “

your eyebrows creased “ well because I — you do you would “

“ don’t go talking out of your ass you hear me—shit people like you don’t deserve to talk to anyone about looks “ your mouth went dry at his lazer stare.

His lips curling up into a smirk before he shook his head “ these assholes are talking about fucking you yknow “ he whispered to you “ you gonna let em ? you gonna let em right? because that’s the only attention you’d ever get right “

“ bakubro hold up chill out “

“ yeah bakubro chill out “ you said your gaze wavering from the hard one you’d had when you felt the heat radiating off of him no comfort coming from him to you only confusing you more. Had you two been in a secret argument that you knew nothing about

“ whatever “ he leaned back in his chair as the class went back to what they were doing your hands gripping the pencil when the class got even louder but you only searching for your boyfriends voice easily drowning out the others

“ i’d never fuck “ your heart broke at the deep voice youd identified

“ dude seriously come on with the lies —fucking beautiful “

“ correctomundo my friend their absolutely stunning “

his laugh ripping through their claims hand jerking back to point at you “ you think their beautiful much less hot ? “

“ yeah you don’t ? “ denki spat all of them looking at the boy like he was crazy for enjoying this obviously racy topic right now much less taking the wrong side of the debate

“ I literally just sat here and said I wouldn’t fuck em’ pokémon —so you can guess what that correlates to “

“ hey dude why’re you being sucha a dick —the personality’s top tier even if your stupid enough to think their not at least hot“ kirishima putting the ending words in quotation marks honestly a bit upset with his friend

“ hey watch it your over here defending an extra like your gonna make moves on em “ he laughed “ I advise otherwise “

you let out a sigh thinking he’d finally stopped acting the way he was. Your mind preparing to only give him the silent treatment for today and then tomorrow peppering him with kisses until he laughed and apologized for his words

Heart only being snatched away from your body when you heard his deep vibrating voice cut through the room “ probably gonna give you a rash from all the shit that’s on their mouth all the time “

it’s just lipgloss.

Lipgloss bakugou bought you packs of earlier this week after he swore he loved the taste and scent.

moving to wipe at it gently with the sleeve of your outfit him still going causing tears to start building up in your eyes “ bet the bitch doesn’t even shower —had em’ over for a project last night had to wash my sheets and blanket —took hours last night “

“ oh “ denki let out “ I was a bit confused when I saw you at the laundry room at 3 in the morning.

Tears blurring your vision as you thought about his earlier words when he’d given you your favorite sweater of his after saying he’d washed it for you because he knew you wouldn’t do it yourself because in his words ‘ you would never wash it without his help because you were a creep and didn’t want to erase his smell or some shit ‘

“ yeah —smelled so bad im telling you stay away you don’t wanna ask em’ out “

you moved to grab your phone as he kept talking you typing out a message as best as you could before hitting send. His hand moving off the desk and going in his pants pocket to pull his phone out keeping it hidden under the table eyes trailing over the screen

Firefighter >3

baby are we arguing

if your mad at me please just tell me don’t just talk shit about me in front of your friends

him locking his phone and placing it on his desk before you typed out one more message him letting out a sigh as he grabbed for it again

firefighter >3

if you keep going we’re over

��� but imagine whoever bags them apart from bakugou at least since we all know he’s all anti hot y/n “

“ they’d be so lucky “

“ yeah right “ he spoke lowly almost trying to hide his voice from you eyes glued to his phone “ wouldn’t dare “

“ wouldnt dare what bakugou “

“ oh wouldnt dare be —-be lucky “ he locked his phone again “ feel bad for the person dating them all the shit they gotta go through put up with , claims they make through message and not with real words, being too much of a pussy to speak up for themselves“

he shook his head softly eyes twitching “ you wouldn’t put up with that —you couldn’t put up with that your not built for it you gotta have tough skin y’know like me “

he licked his lips moving to sit up straighter when hearing his phone vibrate “ don’t uh “

firefighter >3

one more bakugou

one more bakugou katsuki and were over

his eyes darting over to yours before his eyebrows furrowed and body shook in anxiousness he couldn’t figure out what to do.

He was an asshole you knew this so why the fuck were you being such a crybaby now? did he pick the wrong person to date he thought you were strong

He genuinely just wanted to keep these creeps away from what’s his by scaring them off he wasn’t doing anything wrong? well at least in his eyes

He moved to talk again trying his best to string together a nice sentence “ just don’t uh ask —ask em’ out —-their utter dog shit when it comes to relationships leave it to someone who can handle that y’know “

he relaxed into his chair at his victory when he watched you throw your phone to the table and fix your skirt and standup. Him sighing out when you picked up your stuff to leave “ thank all might “ he whispered head shooting to lean back against his desk chair and look up at the sky blood running cold when his phone vibrated against the table

firefighter >3

all your shits gonna be outside my dorm door. So you might want to come collect it before I have half and half lighting campfires tonight

y’know since i’m such a shit person —gotta hope your bestie deku can give me some after school lessons on personalities. He’s so sweet I bet he’ll fix me right up

screw you katsuki see you in hell

“ the —the fuck what did —the hell did I do wrong “ he screamed when he saw you slam the classroom door after flicking him off

his friends eyes moving from the door to bakugous phone that he’d thrown on the table.

Todorokis eyes going wide when he read his stupid nickname given to him by the steamy male “ I —I uh“ he coughed “ I think i’m gonna go help y/n since their now single—don’t want em’ getting hurt with amateur fire starters again when i’m right here “

his stone face peered down at the red faced boy “ I mean that is ok with you bakugou seeing as though you two were most likely in a relationship by the messages before today “

“ you asshole did you go through me and my s/o’s messages “

“ judging by the series of recent text I don’t believe that’s the case for you two anymore “ he reached to grab his backpack saying a formal goodbye before he spoke “ I feel like i’m needed by a very —very perfectly intelligent unshitty person right now “

seros voice coming out softly as he let bakugous phone fall to the table disappointment in his eyes “ look uh —dude you didn’t have to mess your relationship up just to go against us ? “ he winced at the claim“ honestly you could’ve stayed quiet the whole time —it’s not like we agreed with you anyways “

bakugou leaned back in his chair anger swirling in his stomach as he felt his body sweat at the new heat spreading throughout his whole body.

How the hell did he mess up where the hell did he mess up he explained to you he wasn’t gonna treat you any differently than any other extra here and that went for basic conversations too

Maybe he went a bit far with the dont date em ‘ that was probably it you didn’t like how he said don’t date you because he was the only one who could handle you right ?

He shook his head a bit confused you just wanted him to say that you could handle yourself and didn’t need him right ?

So , why the hell did he feel like he’d done something wrong he wasn’t stupid but he just wasn’t well versed in feelings. He already didn’t know how to handle his own so how was he expected to handle another persons.

To him his words were normal he talked about all people like this hell, he bullied deku for 3 years going as far as to make a special nickname for him

that wasn’t even the worse he could’ve done and you knew that so why was he in trouble and worrying about Icy hot taking his place

He was honestly confused?

Could words really be that hurtful?

could his words really be that hurtful ?

#katsuki bakugo imagine #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou headcanons #bakugou imagine #bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugo headcanons #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsukibakugou #katsuki x you #bnha katsuki x reader #mha katsuki #denki x y/n #denki x reader #sero x y/n #sero x reader #eijiro kirishima x y/n #shoto x reader #mha denki #mha imagines #mha #mha x reader #mha fanfiction #mha headcanons #bnha mina

[scarletwidowaf]

broadway, baby. (part 1)

Florence pugh x female Reader

Summery: reader is a singing waitress in a new York restaurant (like in glee) where many famous people go to, and one night the little women cast are are there and R is their waitress.

Warnings: there's some cursing and harassment. Its not revolve around it but its there.

A\N: im soft for florence pugh and this is a complete shit.

masterlist

Credits: Glee Gif Credit • Florence Gifs Credit

“I'm just a Broadway Baby, walking off my tired feet, Pounding Forty Second Street to be in a show. Broadway Baby, learning how to sing and dance, waiting for that one big chance to be in a show.” - Cast of follies

Life can be hard and some days can be rough, especially in your line of work where people competed for the spotlight on a daily basis. but that's life and that’s the road you chose to walk through.  And it's alright, after all, what's life without a spark? A movie without a breaking point? or a shift at Clayton's without drama?

This was one of these days, the kind of days who kept you on an edge as your body and mind both ached for a break.

'Just roll with it. just a few hours for your day off.' You silently said to yourself.

Being a young artist in New York was a challenge you’ve taken on yourself, luckily for you working at "Clayton's" was a good way to start a career.  most people who started working there were young talented artist who were determined to make an impression over the industry. The place was always packed with many famous people, from actors to singers and producers. So, in many ways, working in "Clayton's" could be a ticket to Broadway or the music industry. And that was the reason you moved there in the first place.

You tried the traditional way, but after months of trying to get into college and fix your past mistakes, like your high school career, you decided that this path wasn’t for you. no matter what you did or how hard you tried your ADHD still managed to kick your ass. So, that’s how you ended up as a singing waitress in NY. You liked your job, truly. You liked singing and dancing and meeting cool people along the way, but sometimes it was just too much.

"You look like shit" Aaron said from his spot at the bar.

Aaron was a sweet guy and probably the only straight person in your group of friends. He was charming and talented and most importantly; he was the first friend you got in NY.

Aaron pulled his long brown hair into a bun as he chuckled at you. You huffed in frustration in return.

"Thanks" you muttered as he passes you a mug with coffee, hoping to help you get a grip before the restaurant opens.

"You need to rest" he said. "properly" 

"that’s overrated" you joked and took a sip.

You felt an hand on your shoulder and you turned around to meet your friend's stern gaze. "You, okay?" she asked

"Always" you answered Mackenzie's question and she raised her eyebrow, knowing full well you were lying. 

"we should sing as a warm up!" David, another one of your coworkers and Aaron's twin brother said.

"Let's not" Aaron said as he rolled his eyes at his brother's enthusiasm. 

You laughed quietly as the two started bickering. Mack and you glanced at each other knowingly. Both of you already know who will win in the stupid argument.

15 minutes later, after a group warm up and Aaron's dramatic sighs 'Clayton's' was open for business.

It was a nice evening, not too full, not too loud. And most importantly, not too many known faces.

Of course, you liked to have famous people on your shifts, and it could obviously be a game changer for you but it can get intense at times and you want in the mood. Seriously, how can you be the only one who found singing "defying gravity' in font of Idina Menzel as a very stressful experience?? You were terrified by the idea you'll fuck up in front of the original singer- and make a total fool out of yourself. 

When 10 pm rolled around, every opinion you had about the evening flew out the window. at this point, the restaurant was full with costumers and some known faces as well, and you found yourself holding every inch of you together as you approach the table who was occupied by the one and only Meryl Streep, and some fellow little women cast members.  

 *rule number 1 of working at Clayton's: don't make costumers feel uncomfortable. Don't annoy the costumers, don't ask for autographs if they're famous and generally treat them as normal and respectfully as you can. *

 "Hello, my name is Y/N and ill be your waitress for tonight" you introduced yourself with a small smile. The women smiled at you brightly.

"How does it work" Meryl held the tablet with a puzzled expression. "Am I that old?" She joked

"Barley" One of the other women, Emma fucking Watson, said. 

"I know it looks complicated-" you told them as you took the tablet from Meryl's hand."-But it's pretty simple, actually, I promise. As you can see the top part of the tablet is divided into two sections: The right one who says 'ask for a waiter'- which means that your waiter- which in this case, me, is busy- probably performing at the moment, and you can ask for a different waiter." You said with an ease, knowing the explanation by heart.

"The left section says 'ask for my waiter' which is a pretty simple one to understand... I guess- if you'll need me for whatever reason, you can press it and it'll page me. Feel free to use it."  You said with a smile as you scanned their faces, making sure they understand the first part.

"And the bottom section?" Saoirse asked. 

"The bottom section is the 'refill' sections. It will get into validation only after ill place your order in my own tablet and send to the kitchen." You explained as you gestured to your own tablet. "It's pretty useful, the point of it is that you can ask for a refill without having to social with me. Its awesome"

You noticed one of them, Florence pugh, scanning the tablet with a small smile- as she listened to your explanation. She was absolutely a sight for sore eyes, that's for sure.

"Thats pretty cool" she said and you nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I got really excited over it when I started working here" you admitted awkwardly "most importantly- When a section isn't relevant its will be grey instead of in color so you won't get confused. Like, for example - if You haven't ordered anything yet you can't get a refill, for the obvious reason. or if I'm not performing you can't ask for another waiter... which means you're stuck with me for the time being" you finished with a small chuckle.

"I don't think any of us mind that" Florence smiled and the others agreed. The blonde smiled at you again and you blushed slightly. "You're singing, right?" she asked out of the blue, just when you were about to leave and let them look through their menus. 

"Yeah, i do. In a few minutes, actually" 

"Thats cool! Good luck" she smiled and you wondered if Emma, who set the closest to you, could hear how fast your heart's beating. 

"Thank you" you said with a smile and turned around to the stage. 

__________________

"you paged? I'm guessing you guys ready to order then" You said as you approached their table after your performance. 

"YOU WERE SO GODD!" Florence said excitedly.

"Thank you" you blushed slightly. 

What. The. Fuck. Y/N?! You scolded yourself.

The others joined into the conversation with their own compliments and you thought you'd die when Meryl Streep, the legend herself, complimented you.

After another few moments the conversation calmed downed and moved to the next, and most important topic: the food. You tried your best to not blush under Florence's soft gaze and keep your focus on the other members of her table as they consulted you about the dishes, but damn, that was hard.  luckily for you it didn’t take long and a few minutes later, their order was sent to the kitchen. 

 The next hour and a half weren't much different. you sang and placed orders, you smiled to costumers and even pretend to laugh at some old man's joke. And maybe (just maybe) you glanced over to Florence every now and then.

The thing about Clayton's is that apart for the famous people who visit there frequently, it also contains many of the rich and the snobs of New York, so you weren't surprised when you got paged from a table who was occupied by two guys with fancy clothes and their parents credit card.

"Hey" one of them said to you as you approached them. 

"hey, welcome to Clayton's! You're David's table, right?" You said and pointed at your friend who started his own performance.

"Yeah, the fag one" the other guy said and your smile fell.

Take a deep breath, Y/N. It's not worth it. 

"I see you guys already ordered a few minutes ago" you said as you checked your tablet.

"Yeah" the asshole confirmed. 

"Okay, in that case, how can I help you?" You asked politely as you could. 

"we would like to get the check." The first guy said politely as he pulled out a few bills from his wallet. "Keep the change" he said as you took it and made sure it was enough.

"Thank you" you smiled politely and made a mental note to give David his well-earned tip.

"my brother want to know if you're single" the asshole said and the nicer guy looked at his with his eyes wide.

Shit.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship" you lied after a moment, hoping the lie will spare both his feeling and any more questions in the subject.

The guy nodded in understanding but on the other hand, the other guy didn’t seem to get the massage.  

"I'm sure he won't mind sharing" the asshole said and you felt sorry for the poor guy for being related to this ass.

"What the fuck Chad" the nice guy said as chad smirked at you.

"yeah... that’s not going to happen." You glared at him "have a great weekend tho" you gritted out and turned around to leave.

you were taken by surprise when you felt chad's hand on your ass. Again, what the fuck?!

"What the fuck is wrong with you' asshole" you gritted out and moved away from him. 

Don't make a scene. He's not worth it. 

"C'mon-" he started to say as he got up. You moved away, knowing you were cornered since the place was full, the lights were deemed and the music was loud. 

"Don't touch me" you said and moved away; you're back hitting an empty table who stood nearly.

"Hey what's going on here?" You heard and turned to catch Florence walking to you.

If a look could kill chad would’ve been dead. that’s for sure. It's like the sweet and excited Florence had left and a different, intimidating (and hot) version of her took her space and so help you god, you were glad she was on your side.

"Nothing! we were just leaving, really" Frankie said.

"None of your business" brad said and Florence raised her perfectly shaped eyebrow, daring him to cross her.

"I see" she said "well, I'm sure y/n won't mind my intruding" 

'Thank god for Florence Pugh.' You thought.

Before chad could press the subject any further David, who just finished his performance, got there. You were sure he noticed that something was happening.

"what's going on here?" he asked after he scanned the situation quickly.

"nothing as I said to your friend, we were just leaving" Frankie said again. 

he didn’t want to draw any negative attention, just like you, and thankfully for the both of you, not many people noticed the situation.

This time chad didn't answer, he just glared at Florence and you while his brother pulled him away from the place.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" David asked Florence and you after the two left.

Florence looked at you, waiting for you to answer him. 

"Nothing" you lied. "it's okay David, you can go" you promised your friend. David looked at you with his 'I done believe you' expression, but he didn't press it any further. He just nodded before he turned around and left. 

 Rule number 2: do not make a scene under no circumstances. At Clayton's, everything you do while you're on the clock is practically showcased. You slip? you fall? you sing out of tune? Its under a spotlight, everyone can see that and everyone will have something to say about it. Thats the thing about this place.  most people who started there and moved on to bigger things as Broadway or Hollywood were practically trained to keep their best poker face, act on the demand or pretend that everything is okay when it was clearly not. 

 "You should go back to your table" you said to Florence 

she looked at you with an unreadable expression before she went back to her table. You didn't have much time to read into it since a few minutes later you found yourself at her table, printing their check and having a small friendly conversation with the women. You smiled at them as they left before you turned your tablet off and went to cover for Aaron at the bar.

 "I thought you guys left" You said with a smile when the blonde approached you a few minutes later. 

"Why did you lie?" Florence asked with the same unreadable expression from earlier.

Okay. No smiling then.

"I didn’t" you pulled out two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. The blonde gave you a 'are you kidding me' kind of look and you couldn't help but to chuckle. "I didn't see a reason to make a scene over nothing" you explained and downed one of the shots.

"It wasn't nothing Y/N" she said before taking the other glass. 

"its fine. I'm fine. He didn’t do anything " you said as she downed her shot.

"Yeah, because I was there" she argued.

"I can handle guys like him. Seriously, at this point it might as well be a part of my job" 

"you're not helping yourself"

"I liked you better smiling" you chuckled as she glared at you.

"I'm sure you did"

"shut up" 

"How's your back?" She asked/

The blonde definitely didn't seem convinced about the chad situation but you were just grateful for the change of subject.

"It will be alright"

"Good"

"I appreciate your worry, truly. But I'm fine and I really don't want to hold you back here over it" you said  

"Who said I was worried" she smirked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, you don't?" You played along 

"Nope"

"Then why are you still here? Its almost 12 am, don't you have something better to do" you teased her 

"no. Do you?" She turned the question and you laughed. 

"I guess not - considering the fact I work here and I'm still on clock"

"Oh, please we both know this place is about to close" she argued your logic

"True" you admitted

"So, if you have nothing better to do, and you don't, would you like to go out with me? You kinda owe me after I saved your ass earlier"

"Uh, and here I thought you did that as an act of kindness" you joked. A small smile playing on your lips.

"Ew no" she said and You laughed. "Well?" Florence pressed with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, why not. It's not like I have something better to do" 

"Just what I wanted to hear" she joked.

#florence pugh #florence pugh x reader #florence pigh x female reader #florence pugh x fem!reader

[mercurysstars]

All That Glitters Is Not Gold (part 5)

Summary: Y/n gets hired to be the avengers chief physician and also happens to be an ex assassin.

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: Avengers doing domestic things.

A/N: A silly chapter before some shiii starts going down. Also I’m posting two chapters because I really hated this one.

𝘚𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳

𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴' 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴

_

"Come on it's not that hard just up and over." Bucky once again demonstrated to Sam how to throw the knife over his arm and catch it. Wanda had her feet kicked up on Y/n's desk painting her nails and Y/n was watering her plants on her office window seal.

Sam took the knife from Bucky and attempted to do what he showed him but failed which caused the knife to fall and slide across the floor. He muttered a few curse words and picked it up. Sam once again flung the knife up, he went to catch it but Y/n was quicker snatching it out of the air.

"No more throwing knives in my office, you're going to cut off your fingers, and IM the one who's going to have to stitch them back on." Y/n hissed.

"Oh come Y/n don't be a buzzkill you should trust me," Sam exclaimed.

"No, I'd trust a sketchy party clown for hire who likes to take 'bathroom brakes' more than you." Wanda scoffed.

"Don't you guys have a job to do? People, to save instead of bothering me?" Y/n put her hands on her hips.

"Don't lie to use doll we know you like having us around." Bucky grinned.

"No, no I don't. You guys are like cockroaches in a shitty Brooklyn apartment that no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to rid of." Y/n waves the knife around in her hand pointing to the three Avengers.

As much as Y/n loved her newfound friends they were distracting and caused her to get little work done, though Tony probably wouldn't care as he was the number one slacker, Y/n still liked to pull her own weight.

Y/n walked back around her desk and plopped down next to Wanda, she took the nail polish and began to do the nails that Wanda couldn't.

Bucky rolled his eye "Anyways, when are you going to move in?"

"Well, Tony said I could hook the SHIELD trailer onto my car and I have everything packed I just need someone to help me move." She shrugged.

Wanda perked up and grinned "I'll help, I've always wanted to see the apartment that you're found enough of to drive an hour and back to every day."

"An hour? I thought you lived in Brooklyn." Sam said.

"Nope." Y/n popped the 'P' "I live in Hell's Kitchen."

Bucky frowned "That neighborhood with all those vigilantes?" Y/n just nodded.

"Well, I and Buck will help." Sam put his arm around Bucky. He tried to shrug it off and Sam pulled tighter.

Y/n thought for a moment, it would definitely help to have more than one other person to do the heavy lifting, and anything she didn't want anyone seeing was packed away so it could work.

She shrugged "Okay we can go we I get off which is in about 30 minutes."

Y/n stood up "But in the meantime, I need to work and I can't do that with dumb and dumber around." She started to push Bucky and Sam out of the room.

"Oh come on Y/n don't be like that." Bucky teased.

She gave the final shove "Wanda and I will meet you by the first-floor elevator in 45 minutes."

Both Sam and Bucky opened their mouth to protest "Bye." Y/n waved and slammed the door.

"Men am I right?"

Y/n scoffed "You're telling me."

_

Wanda and Y/n stepped out of the elevator to see Bucky and Sam leaning against the wall waiting for them. "Boys." She nodded. Y/n and Wanda began to walk over to the front desk while both men trailed along like lost puppies.

Y/n put both arms on the desk and leaned forward. The blonde at the desk looked up with a smile, it dropped for split second, so slight that if you weren't watching you wouldn't have noticed.

"Dr. Y/l/n what can I do for you."

Y/n put on a fake smile and curiously narrowed her eyes "Teresa right? Well, Tony said the trailer was already hooked up to my car I just needed someone to let me into the garage."

"Of course, when you hear buzz head right on."

"Thanks!" She exclaimed.

Y/n turned around and her smile immediately dropped, she walked back over to Wanda and the boys, and they all started to walk to the garage.

"What's her problem?" Y/n nodded over towards the desk.

"Teresa? Well I know she used to be a high-level SHIELD agent but requested to be moved to the front desk, it was a pretty big deal. It happened just right before you started working here actually." Sam told her.

Y/n hummed and opened the door leading to the garage. They walked toward the back and stopped in front of a grey 2010 Honda Civic.

"Here's my baby." She made jazz hands to show off her car.

"This is your car? Being friends Tony Stark I assumed you'd have something newer." Bucky joked.

"I call shotgun," Wanda yelled hopping into the passenger seat.

_

30 minutes into the ride Y/n and Wanda are screaming blank space by Taylor Swift on the top of their lungs while Sam and Bucky are crammed in the back seat trying not to cringe at their 'god awful' singing.

Another 20 minutes and Y/n pulls in front of her apartment. The car was barely at a stop when both men scrambled to get out Wanda chuckled and Y/n just shook her head.

They went inside of the building and once again crammed into the elevator. "You have a really shitty apartment," Sam stated matter of factly.

Y/n rolled her eyes and stepped out of the elevator the three Avengers followed suit and walked behind her while she lead them to her apartment. Y/n pulled out her keys and opened the door.

"Welcome to my humble abode."

Bucky was the first one to step in, he felt something rub against his leg and meowed. He looked down to see a white fluffy cat with emerald green eyes. The cat meowed again and stretched its paws onto his pant leg. Bucky smiled and pick the cat up. The cat immediately began to nudge into him and purr. Bucky turned to Y/n.

"What's his name?"

Y/n arms were crossed and was leaning against the doorway with an amused looked and her face "Her name is Alpine."

"I forgot you said you had a cat." Wanda squealed.

Y/n chuckled at the redhead and started to walk down her hallway "Alright we only need to grab the boxes and the furniture in my room. Matt said he could take the rest of the furniture and use it for his law firm."

Bucky's face slightly fell and his heart skipped a beat "Matt is that your boyfriend?" Bucky tried to sound as though he was genuine even with the sick feeling in his gut.

Y/n felt as she could sense some slight jealousy in his statement. She got a quick sensation of butterfly's and started to feel a little hope at the possibility that he could be interested in her but she quickly shoved that thought down.

"No, no, you could call him a childhood friend." She breathed.

Bucky's heart began to beat normal again and the wide smile was put back on to his face. Wanda walked over and pulled the cat out of Bucky's arms. Alpine snuggled into Wanda falling back asleep in her arms.

"Well, what are you boys standing around here for, get to work," Wanda exclaimed clapping her hands to show she was serious. Y/n chuckled and both men began to pick up boxes.

Y/n and Wanda sat on the couch watching as Sam and Bucky brought boxes to the car. Y/n and Wanda smirked at each other as they watch Bucky and Sam lift her bed. Seeing the way their muscles move definitely a sight for sore eyes. After an hour of talking and moving they were finally done. Y/n stood up off the couch and stretched her arms.

"Guys that was hard work."

Sam scoffed "All you did was hold the cat while watching us doing the heavy lifting."

"Whatever," Y/n murmured.

"Wanda, why didn't you just use your powers?" Bucky asked.

"I was holding the cat." She shrugged.

Both men rolled their eyes in sync "Will you guys stop whining if I buy you food?" Y/n raised an eyebrow.

"I would never say no to free food." Bucky grinned.

_

Bucky woke up to the feeling of vibrations on his chest, he peeked an eye open to see a blob of white fur. Alpine noticed he was awake and nudge her face against his scruff, he chuckled and sat up.

"How did you get in?" He looked over to see his door still closed and locked, he frowned.

Alpine gave him an innocent look, he lightly nudged the cat to push her onto the bed. Bucky stood up and grabbed his pants, he put them on and grabbed Alpine.

"I've got to bring you back to Y/n's room mommy probably misses you." Talking to a cat wow a new low Barnes He scoffed at himself.

Bucky opened his door and walked the far distance of three feet to Y/n's door and knocked. He heard a muffled come in. He walked into her room to see her going through her boxes. She looked up, saw him, and smiled.

"Hey, Bucky what's up."

"I think this belongs to you." He chuckled nodding toward Alpine who was curled up like a baby in his arms.

"Where did you find her?" Her eyes lit up at the sight of her car.

"Actually she found me first I woke up to her laying on me."

"I think someone's got a crush." Y/n teased.

She grabbed Alpine then she noticed what he was wearing, rather the lack of what he was wearing.

Her eyes traveled down his toned chiseled abs landing on the sweatpants laying low in his hips just above his V line.

"Y/n?" That snapped her out of her trance.

"I'm sorry what were you saying?" Her eyes darted back up toward his face.

"I was saying I'm going to make breakfast do you want some." He raised an eyebrow with a smirk. Y/n's face instantly flushed oh my god he totally caught me checking him out.

"Uh yeah, sure."

Part 6

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x female reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfic #james buchanan barnes

[organic-guacamole]

episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

oh

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

OH

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts spoilers #seblos #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #lily hsmtmts #ms jenn #mr mazzara #natalie bagley #guac's episode text blocks :)

[turtle-steverogers]

she is very long so. enjoy😌

- Steve n Bucky going to the bodega down the street from their apartment. it’s open till like 4am and they go at all hours. sometimes they’ll go separately but they always go together when they go in between 12-4 am and no one who works there questions why

- they get a cat that they treat her like their child. it’s Alpine ofc😌 steve loves her so much but he knows it’s Bucky’s Cat and he’s fine with it

- you know how some siblings or partners or friends can communicate with their eyes and basically have telepathy? they totally have that and it annoys the shit out of every single person they meetjdksndks. someone will be talking to them and they will just make eye contact with each other bc it reminded them of an earlier convo they had or they both got annoyed by the other person or it reminds them of an inside joke or something and it just irritates EVERYONE. no one is able to intercept it and it’s just a thing that no matter what - even though they don’t mean to - you’ll feel a little left out when you’re with steveandbucky. it just comes with the gig. i like to imagine that depending on if it’s an au or not, its either really obvious or not. like in an au then yes it’s obvious they can have non verbal conversations, but if it’s not an au then it’s not entirely obvious bc they’re enhanced humans and they know how to hide their secret conversations. but everyone they talk to is essentially an enhanced human or has special abilities so it’s obvious to them and they catch them in the act LOL. if they’re interacting with regular people then it’s not very obvious though

- DATE NIGHT!!! yes they’re old yes they have date night. when they go out it’s usually to places in their neighborhood, but a lot of the time they like to stay in bc. they’re old men <3 steve is better at cooking and bucky is better at baking bc you can get creative with cooking and steve likes that more. he enjoys baking a lot too but he thinks bucky’s stuff tastes better. whenever they stay home though there’s ALWAYS a movie. always. they alternate choosing but there is always a movie to watch. bucky usually falls asleep nearing the end and steve plays with his hair😌 he rolls his eyes cause it happens every time but he actually likes when it happens bc he can braid strands of hair together

- pet names oh my god. so many pet names. every single one. mainly from bucky. steve uses them but maybe like two. he favors sweetie and buck and that’s it really. sometimes he uses hon. bucky though oh my god. every single pet name under the sun. so many variations of doll you wouldn’t believe - baby doll ofc, dolly, stevie doll. sweetheart. sweetness. blondie. pretty boy. hot stuff. stevie. baby. hon. honey. sunshine. angel. it’s just so many. and it’s like very sickening insane twisted etc but hot at the same time. most people are like jeez barnes do you ever shut up… but most of these people secretly think it’s a little hot theyre thinking damn where is that affection for me…. i need me a bucky barnes :| steve is the only smitten kitten outwardly even if he huffs and puffs sometimes but it’s obvious he enjoys it. like they are so annoyingjdkssn for real they aren’t a pda couple really but the petnames….. so many. so so so many it’s sickeningly sweet but bucky dgaf! steve is his sweetheart his dolly his baby his angel so he’s going to call him these things!

- steve knows his body is what is considered “perfect” but he still is insecure about it around most people and bucky knows this so when steve lounges at home in bucky’s boxer briefs and his own tee shirt or he kicks off his pants when he’s too hot at night in bed bucky is reminded of just how much steve loves him and feels comfortable around him which is something he always strives for - to make steve comfortable. not baby him because steve bitches at anyone that does that to him but to make him feel comfortable

- and on the subject of feeling comfortable i imagine that they always check in with one another but it’s very subconscious they hardly realize they do it. like steve will bitch at bucky to pick up his shoes from their doorway or to clean his hair from the shower drain but the next second he will ask him if his back still hurts from being kicked by sam and from where steve AND alpine scratched him (in very different ways)

- steve is the sweater husband and bucky is the sweatshirt husband. they trade off a lot but that’s just how their closets look

- steve takes a liking to crop tops 😌 but ONLY around the house bc again he’s really truly only comfortable around bucky. he wears em with boxer briefs or sweatpants but you can guarantee that the briefs and sweats usually just end up on the floor 9 out of 10 times

- hair ties everywhere. they can be found on the floor in the laundry in their bed in the couch on top of the fridge on their fire escape. they are literally everywhere. steve just picks them up and puts them in the bathroom but they always make their way back. he doesn’t say anything to bucky until he finds alpine chewing one and she ends up smacking herself in the face with the hairtie

- their fridge is always full with leftovers and food from sam or clint’s or whoever’s house or takeout. they always eat it all but they get and make a lot of food so the fridge is always full

- subconsciously bucky always has a hand on the back of steve’s neck. like it’s not ENTIRELY a possessive thing but he used to do it a lot when steve was small because it was easy and it was comfortable. for him and just for him and steve. it was like swinging an arm around steve’s shoulders or putting a hand on his shoulder. it was just natural and easy so he did it. a part of him back then prewar did it possessively too, but he always tampered that down bc steve wasn’t his. now he does it without shame

- steve really likes tofu and vegan meat, non dairy milk like almond and soy, and overall a lot of non dairy vegan foods, and a lot of fruits. he gets made fun of for a lot specifically about the vegan stuff but his reasoning is that there’s so much food accessible for people with allergies in the future that he wished existed a hundred years ago so he’s going to try it and stick with it if he likes it. people shut up after that

- he also tips a little more than he needs to everywhere he goes. everywhere. like it’s cool when steve rogers walks in to a restaurant bc he’s a superhero or whatever but its REALLY cool because he leaves a generous tip and that’s what really makes peoples day

- before they get legally married they are still very much married. like “i packed you lunch, meet me at the restaurant instead of me going to pick you up bc it’ll take longer, i got takeout let’s bitch together while we watch shitty reality tv, let’s bitch at EACH OTHER through the phone in public, let’s send each other ugly pictures of each other or funny texts while we’re right next to each other, i’m out with a group and you’re not there and i say multiple times ‘i miss steve/bucky’, let’s yell at each other from opposite ends of the apartment instead of getting up to see each other, steve i’m going to fuck you on the couch bc our room is too far, etc.” they are just very much married without the documents and legalities and it’s very obvious

okay all of these were ABSOLUTELY wonderful and im really going to restrain my urge to respond to each and every one but that might be futile

-okay YES they definitely go to that bodega at all hours, and usually it's for normal things when they go separately: milk, cereal, toilet paper. but when they go in the middle of the night, they almost always purchase some like odd assortment of candies and deli meat. also, they're always in their pajamas. like bucky's in plaid pj pants and a star wars sweatshirt, and steve is in like 5" shorts and a huge crewneck and they're both in slides and they definitely only speak russian to each other when they're in there after hours

-yes alpine! they also have a dog, that is more steve than bucky's!! his name is norman in my headcanon (and a couple of my fics) and he is best boy

-okay i need more of this in my general stucky life: steve and bucky being like,,, best friends as well as lovers and being so seamlessly close. like yeah, they definitely talk with their eyes, or just one glance, or half-sentences ("hey, did you ever get to--" "yup, on the way home. it was so--" "yeah, good. glad to hear") and they know exactly what the other is saying.

-yes to the date nights!!! and when they stay in to watch movies, they make Tons of popcorn. and they Have to make separate batches, because steve will Only eat his with like half a bottle of that powdered white cheddar on his

-YES we share the same fucking headcanon for petnames on god

Steve: love you, buck:)

Bucky: love you, pumpkin

-Steve definitely has body dysmorphia, probably even post serum (I have lots of thoughts on this, that might be a different post) and yeah, Bucky definitely knows its Big that he feels comfortable enough to be exposed around him (and he's even more honored that steve lets him be intimate with him, because that's really hard for steve, too)

-yeah! and easy check ins like "ur stomach still bothering you from last night?" "oh, no it was just a little bug turns out" or like "my head hurts:(" "i have meds in my bag. you want?" "yeah, just two" or like subtly checking on injuries, yeah

-yeah the sweater versus sweatshirt tracks tbh i picture steve in a lot of crewnecks so yeah

-STEVE IN CROP TOPS STEVE IN CROP TOPS and i raise you they're often ones he's cropped himself and he's also painted on! or bleach painted!! and theyre so cool and bucky never wants to make a big deal out of it, but he's so proud of steve for expressing himself like that

-ALPINE SMACKING HERSELF ALKFJALSDKFJA also steve always has a hairtie on HIS wrist in case bucky forgets one for himself

-they also always have Steve Staple Foods cuz i headcanon steve as a picky eater (adhd!steve + serum enhancements, it's down to a formula) so they have a lot of Kraft mac and cheese and easy heat up meals and lunch meats around for when he's having bad food days

-OMG and steve absolutely MELTS i raise you, too, bucky will especially hold the back of his neck when he needs to get steve to Chill Out. so like if he sees him stressing he'll put his hand on the back of his neck and squeeze and literally feel the tension drain from him or like if steve is having a panic attack, he'll hold the back of his neck while they breathe together

-yes and also any time that steve is Choosing food for himself and feeling motivated to eat it, it's a win, so people learn to back off there, too

-yes! he tips generously, but never awkwardly or offensively. he's also super kind and patient to food service workers!

-this last point is so perfect i cant. like yeah, back to steve and bucky just being,,,, the best of friends. ugly selfies galore, shoving their feet in each other's face, flicking each others ears. and yes, all the fucking gossiping. on the phone gossip, venting, fun gossip from around work. they talk about it all. and it's so great for them

thank you again for stopping by! your thoughts are impeccable!

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky headcanons #long post #domestic anon

[daddystevee]

This Isn’t You

(Steve Harrington x reader)

Im trying something out here. Something a little bit more from my mind instead of feeding directly off of the story line. I’m also gonna try to get these one shot type things out a little more. I really like this one and im kinda seriously proud of it. So this takes place immediately after season 2. In this fic- were just gonna pretend that Steve and Nancy didn’t get back together at the end of season one :p

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: blood and cursing and some FLUFF

><

“I can’t keep acting like I don’t know that you're keeping secrets from me.” you call out a little louder and angrier than you had planned to. Steve was sitting on the edge of your bed when you walked into your room, rag in one hand and a bowl filled with warm water and soap in the other. 

Your boyfriend had shown up at your doorstep, at nearly 1 in the morning, face covered in blood and his two eyes starting to turn purple at the inner corner. Thank God your parents had gone to visit your brother, who was currently at college, because otherwise you’d be totally screwed.

Over the last week or so you had this weird gut feeling that Steve had been hiding something from you. He normally would call you at night before going to bed, but as of lately he wasn’t doing so. He would ignore your calls and if he did answer he wouldn’t stay on the line for very long.

“This just isn’t like you, Steve. I don’t know what it is or what happened to you, but I really don’t like it.” 

He wasn’t responding to anything you were saying, but looked up at you with the smallest tinge of guilt in his eyes. Even if he did tell you the truth it’s not like you would believe him anyways, no one would. You sat down next to him and looked him in the eyes and sighed,

“This might sting a little” you say as you dip the dry cloth into the soapy mixture. Setting the bowl onto the ground, you moved as close to Steve as you could to make sure you got all of the cuts cleaned. You made sure to get the easy parts first, taking the rag under his nose, around his eyes and on his cheeks. He hissed when you wiped around his busted lip and chin. You gently peeled the band-aid's off that were on his forehead and chin, so you could get a better look at what you were working with.

><

After you had finished cleaning and properly taking care of his wounds you walked out and into your older brother's room and grabbed a set of pajamas for Steve. 

“Here put these on.” you say throwing the clothes at him

“Y/N, I’m going home. I don’t need these-”

“No Steve, you’re not going home. I’m not gonna let you avoid this anymore, we’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna talk things out. I don’t care what kind of crazy excuse you’re gonna throw at me this time, but I’m not catching it.” you say cutting him off, you refuse to let him get out of this. You’re his other half, the two of you are supposed to be honest and open about everything with each other.

Steve sighed before putting the clothes down and grabbed your hand, leading you out of your room and down the stairs to the kitchen. 

“Sit down.” he said before moving over to your parents liquor cabinet and pulling out a bottle of whisky and setting it down in front of you, “you’re gonna need this.”

><

“So do you understand why I haven’t been around?” he asks leaning against the counter, an ice pack being held against his forehead with one hand and his other arm folded across his stomach.

You had your head leaned onto the back of your chair looking up to the ceiling trying to process everything he had just told you.

“So you’re telling me that when the Byers boy went missing, he was just stuck in an alternate universe with weird freaky monsters called-”

“Demogorgons”

“yeah demo- whatevers, and there’s a girl that can move things with her mind and she’s from this other dimension or has access to it and you’ve been fighting these monsters with a bunch of 12 year olds?”

“Yup”

“And you went into some underground tunnels to light them on fire to distract smaller versions of those- demo things from attacking the girl with powers so she could close the gate between the worlds? But in the process you got your ass beat by Billy Hargrove- hence why you're covered in cuts and bruises?”

“Yeah pretty much.” he says doubting you’d ever believe him. There was a long pause filled with painful silence.

“Okay, yeah. I get it.” you say with no trace of sarcasm in your voice. 

Steve just stares at you in disbelief, “Wait, you actually believe me?”

You hop down off of your chair and walk over to your boyfriend wrapping your arms around his middle, “Of course I do, I mean it sounds unbelievable, but something tells me that you wouldn’t sit me down with an entire unopened bottle of whisky to tell me some bullshit story.” 

Steve lets out a sigh of relief as he puts the ice pack down on the counter and wraps his arms around your shoulders pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “Thank God, I thought you were gonna think I’m a crazy-”

“Oh, I do think you’re crazy, crazy enough to go through all this without me. I want in next time.” you say cutting him off.

“Oh, no, no, no. You will NOT be part of this.”

“And why not? Is there something else you’re hiding?” 

“No- I just, I don’t want you to get hurt. If something were to happen to you I don’t know what I’d do.” you look up into your boyfriends gorgeous brown eyes to see them with tears threatening to spill over.

“Oh, Stevie.” you say nuzzling your head further into his chest, “I appreciate you wanting to look out for me but, we’re in this together. Monsters and all.”

“I mean, I guess you would look pretty hot swinging the nail bat around beating the shit out of a Demogorgon.” he says lightening the mood a little but there was a hint of seriousness in his voice

“Nail bat? What’s that?” you ask pulling away from him.

He looks at you like you just messed up the ABC’s, “It’s a bat, with nails in it.”

“oh well, duh. Well you’ll just have to teach me how to use it one day.”

You smile up at him and go up onto your tippy-toes, giving him a small kiss on the lips, “It seems like you’ve had a long couple of days, let’s get you to bed, shall we? You go ahead and get ready for bed, I’m right behind you”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, booking it up the stairs and to your room. You walk to the front door to lock it, then head back into the kitchen, making sure to turn off all the lights in the house before heading upstairs. By the time you had brushed your teeth and walked into your room, Steve was already asleep in your bed. You climb underneath the blankets and reach to turn off the lamp before laying with your back to Steve. You feel Steve snake an arm over your stomach and pull you in closer to him,

“I love you” he mumbles half asleep

“I love you too, Stevie” you say as your final words before you drift off into sleep.

Steve can’t deny that even though he doesn’t want you near any of this Upside Down shit, he wouldn’t wanna fight some other world monsters beside anyone else.

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #steve harrington fic #stranger things imagine #stranger things fic #kait writes #i tried alright

[shadedrose01]

Truth or Dare (Yes, I Double Dare You)

Ships: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker), mentioned Thompsborn (Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson)

Summary: Peter play Truth or Dare with his friends.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 8, I dare you to kiss me, Truth or Dare, Party Games, Birthday Party, They play truth or dare y'all, Peter has a crush on Harley, Harley likes him back, Thompsborn is in this too, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, Dare, Calling your crush, admitting feelings, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, Kissing, Cute, Fluff, a lot of swearing, I dont know why i made them swear so much, im sorry lol, Bad French, Poor translated french, I Tried

Day eight of Febufluff: "I dare you to... kiss me"!

--

"Hmm, I dare you to speak in a French accent for the next three rounds." Flash grins over his cup, swirling the drink in front of his mouth before taking a sip, watching the smile drop off of his boyfriend's face, an incredulous expression replacing it.

"Seriously?!?"

"Yes, seriously! And that wasn't in an accent!"

"Oui, oui, baguette." Harry deadpans, looking so entirely done with Flash's bullshit, the entire room erupting into laughter as said boy sits up, shoving his boyfriend's shoulder hard.

"No halfassed bullshit, dickwad. The real deal."

"Fine, you want the real deal?" Harry sits up straight, and Peter starts giggling like a mad man from the other side of the room, leaning against the wall to watch the scene unfold, knowing exactly what is about to happen. Harry clears his throat, holds a dramatic pause for a few seconds, before- "Tu veux un accent francaise, tu vas recevoir un accent francaise."

"Oh my god, I forgot he spoke French!" Flash moans, slowly slipping down the wall in shame.

"Oh la la, ma chérie, qu'est ce que tu as fais, eh?" Harry grins, smug, cheeky, knowing he's won this hand as his boyfriend sinks even lower, his head almost level with the ground, his face red.

"And why is it so hot?!?"

"Okay, okay, enough." Ned laughs, sitting chris cross apple sauce beside Peter, the party hat sat on the top of his head beginning to sag.

It was Ned's 17th birthday, and instead of throwing a big party full of alcohol and loud music like most people in their classes did, he decided to have a smaller party, a sleepover full of board games, video games and now party games, with his closest friends, with their friend group. So here they all were, packing into Ned's smaller sized room, Flash and Harry practically conjoined at the hip sitting against the wall, Peter and Ned sitting on top of his bed on the other side of the room, and MJ and Harley leaning against said bed, sat on the floor, playing what would hopefully be a quick game of Truth or Dare. Hopefully.

Peter had never liked this game. There was always too much risk for him in this game, of being asked to reveal one of his many secrets, or of being asked to embarrass himself for laughs. He gets the appeal of it, the adrenaline rush, the amusement of watching your friends do something stupid, it's a fun game to watch, but that doesn't mean he likes playing it. He hadnt even called on yet though, and he was hoping to keep it that way.

He shouldn't have jinxed it.

As if his thoughts manifested into reality, Harry turns to stare at him with a unknown, horrifying glint in his eyes. Oh no, this is definitely not going to end well. "Action ou Vérité?"

Peter sighs, looking up to the ceiling as he mumbles "Dare.", assuming that's what Harry asked. If he's going to go down, he may as well go down in style.

Harry's grin widens, and Peter is already regretting his decision. "Je te défie de telephoner ton béguin."

Peter blinks at him in confusion, before MJ translates, "He's daring you to call your crush."

"What?!?" Peter sputters, Harry cackling at  his flushing face while Harley speaks up for the first time in a while, his ('beautiful, gorgeous, fuck-') face turned towards MJ, scrunched up in thought.

"You know French? Since when?"

MJ just shrugs, face impartial, the only sign of her shyness being her pushing a stray hair behind her ear. "Since I got bored one day and learned it."

Harley just nods, like that makes sense, all while Peter is internal freaking the fuck out. Normally, this type of thing wouldn't be an issue. Sure, your friends will find out who your crush is, and tease you about it, and it'll be embarassing and whatever, but that's not the problem. Oh no no no no no, that would be too easy for Peter Parker. No, the problem with this question for Peter is that his crush is in the damn room, sitting directly in front of him leaning against the bed, an easy smile tilting up his thin pink lips, showing off his adorable dimples as he scans the room again with those big, stunning ocean blue eyes, hair coiffed back just right, messy, but just neat enough to be perfect, one stray blond curl falling in front of his eyes and fuck, fuck, frick fuck.

What is he going to do?!? He can't exactly call Harley when he's right in front of him, but he can't exactly say that he won't do it either, he wont be that guy. And now everybody is staring at it, expectant, waiting, shit, shit, shit-

Ned's eyes are the only ones that are sympathetic, because he knows, he knows who Peter likes and why this is such a big deal. Harley is one of Peter's best friends, they've been friends for years, and Peter is closer to Harley than he is to anybody else, he cant just throw it all away because of a game, can he? Harley definitely doesnt like him back, so if he does call him, it'll only end badly, but theres this tiny, tiny, traitorous part of him that wants to fo it, wants to tell him, if only to get it out in the open. But he cant ruin their friendship like that, he cant, but- but- oh god, oh no-

"Come on, Parker, we don't have all day." Flash complains innocently, not knowing of Peter's internal dilemma as he throws a stray piece of popcorn at him, Peter catching it subconsciously and throwing it into his mouth, just to try and get a few more seconds of peace before all hell breaks loose, before he destroys his closest friendship with his stupid ass feelings, goddamn it-

"Yeah, Pete, come on, dont keep us on the end of our seats." Harley teases, placing his head onto the blankets and looking back at him upside down, his hair surrounding his head like a halo, making him look even more angelic that he normally does, and god, why him, why? "Who's caught your eye, hm?"

Peter takes a deep, long, shaky breath, trying to prepare himself for the worst (and failing), taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling down to Harleys contract, the black letters and two heart emojis on either side staring back at him mockingly. He hovers his thumb over the call button, noting how much its trembling, before he gulps and presses it, placing the phone to his ear, squeezing his eyes shut like a coward, unable to watch, knowing that Harleys expression was going shift, was going to turn from soft and warm, friendly, to hard and angry, to hatred and disgust and-

ACDC blares out into the room, the noise very obviously Harley's ringtone, and Peter grits his teeth, biting his tongue hard, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Wha-" Harley sounds so confused, so so confused, and Peter's squeezes his eyes shut tighter, holding back the burning tears that are threatening to spill. "Peter, why are you- wait..." He stops, pauses, and Peter digs his nails into his palm, squeezing his phone until he hears it start to crack. "...really?"

His voice is shaky, and god, Peter made him upset, he is probably so hurt, so confused, so disgusted, god stupid, you're so stupid, why would you do that, why didnt you just not do it, why why why-

He nods once, slowly, swallowing down a sob before whispering out "I'm sorry," into the now eerily silent room, his friends seemingly shocked into silence. He doesnt even want to know what they're thinking, what expressions are on their faces-

Theres another pause, another moment before he hears somebody shifting, Harley standing up, he's leaving, he's leaving- Good job, Parker, now you're forcing him to leave, you made him feel so uncomfortable that he's leaving, good fricken job, god, what is wrong with you-

A hand rubs his cheek gently, so so gently, spurring him out of his head as it brushes away a tear that had broken free, before another hand joins it on his other cheek, cradling his face. Peter blinks opens his eyes, shocked to see that its Harleys hands on his face, and that its Harley sat right in front of his face, with a wide smile and glowing eyes, face bright. "You mean it? You really mean it?"

Peter just nods again, so, so confused but also filling with a spark of hope, of joy as Harley's smile grows even more, filling his face before he launches into Peter's arms, hugging him tightly. "Oh thank god," he breathes into Peter's shoulder, and Peter is so lost, what is happening- "I thought you  were gonna call someone else, and I was gonna have to act all happy and like it didn't bother me when it totally would have and-"

"Wait, wait," Peter finally puts together the pieces, and pulls away to stare at Harley with wide eyes, the beginning of a smile twitching at his lips. "You like me back?"

"Yeah?" Harley cheeks grow a rosey hue, and he looks away bashfully. "I thought it was obvious."

Peter shakes his head wildly, eyes still wide, this cant be happening, he likes me back, he likes me- "No, no it wasn't, it really really wasn't-"

"So, what I'm hearing," MJ cuts in, tone blunt as always, but with hints of warm amusement softening the usual edge, "is that you two are oblivious idiots."

They both laugh breathless, staring into each others eyes. "Apparently." Harley murmurs, his blue eyes swirling and flickering up and down, looking down at his lips before looking back up again.

Peter gets an idea, a cheesy, cheesy idea, and grins. "Hey, it's my turn now, right?" He asks to the group, never taking his eyes off of Harley.

"Yeeup!" Ned responds enthusiastically, seemingly thrilled to see his two best friends realizing their feelings for one another.

"Well," he leans forward a bit more, watching as Harleys pupil's grow bigger. "Truth or dare, Harls."

"Dare." He responds easily, quickly, seemingly getting more and more antsy by the second. Peter can't blame him, he feels the same way.

"I dare you to kiss me." Peter doesnt even finish his sentence before Harley's lips are pressed to his, his hands moving upwards and running through his hair, fingers grabbing lightly onto the strands as Peter grabs his hips lightly, pulling him closer, both of the boys grinning into the kiss. Peter can hear MJ gagging in the background, Harry exclaiming "gross!" like he doesnt kiss Flash every two seconds, and Ned squealing like a fangirl, but he ignores it all, just focusing on Harley, focusing on this moment, his heart swelling in his chest.

#parkner #parkner fic #parley #harley keener/peter parker #harley keener #peter parker #thompsborn #harry osborn #flash thompson #michelle jones #ned leeds #truth or dare #febufluff #day eight #i dare you to kiss me #Febufluff #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel mcu #mcu #fanfiction

[byuniieo]

my nerdy princess

pairing: na jaemin x reader

genre: highschool!au F

word count: 1859 words

.🍂

You remember the first day you met Jaemin, It was in the middle of winter in the neighborhood park right after the first snow. You remember his pink cheeks and the beige scarf wrapped around his neck almost swallowing him in its warmth.

You remember when he ran up to you because he liked your red scarf and your Winnie the Pooh coat. He grabbed your gloved hand and dashed with you all around the park.

Maybe you’re quieter, nerdy and a lot more shy than other kids but to him you were his red princess. He gave you that name after he realized how red your cheeks turned when you got shy.

Obviously you got used to him and his unexpected actions. He was the total opposite of you but despite being opposites you guys got along well and shared many interests and had quite a lot of similarities.

Growing up he stayed by your side and you by his. He helped you grow out of your small shell and made you feel accepted and beautiful. Like his actual princess.

You had always helped him when he fell or got hurt, you’d keep him out of trouble and give him cuddles when he was feeling down.

You guys had sleepovers, play dates or lunch. Sometimes he even stayed over for dinner. Sometimes he would just come over to sit down and watch movies with you, and when you were sad he would come over and stay by your side.

In middle school you remember always being asked if Jaemin was your boyfriend. Both your parents joked about it a lot because he was always very protective of you and always wanted to see you but it wasn’t true. In fact, you weren’t even sure if he liked you and you for sure started to question whether you liked him or not.

He would always look for you, even when he had his girlfriends or when he had his bros hanging out with him, he’d always make time for you.

When you entered high school, you started becoming more “nerdy” and spent most of your time in the library studying or just staying there to rest and read a book. Even then he’d go and find you in the library and tease you by calling you “nerd” yet he’d always join you. You would sit at one of the tables to read your book or study while he’s playing video games beside you.

Sometimes he’d even read with you, but he respected your silence nonetheless.

You would go to his sport games, tag along with him to gaming cafes, and sometimes you’d go skating with him. You enjoyed your time with him just as much as he did with you, You liked making time for him and enjoyed spending most of your time with him.

Everything you had was just as much his and vice versa.

.🍂

“Na Jaemin!”

“Woah! Would you look at that? I have to go... and hide” Jaemin scratches his head and turns around in an attempt to hide behind his taller classmates in order to be unnoticed by the small raging human stomping his way.

“Nuh-uh.” You reach for his wrist before he can even try to run, turning him around and reaching for his ear you pull him the other way. You heard Jaemin’s friends whistles and howls as you pulled him through the school hallways. Jaemin obviously not liking the attention sent them a glare before flipping them off in the process of being dragged by the ear.

“Y/N, Princess!! You’re hurting me!” You feel his hand wrap around your wrist in an attempt to loosen your hold. His hands are way bigger than yours but he knows his strength and doesn’t apply too much pressure. Neither does he attempt to pull your hand away because let's be honest that’ll just hurt him more.

This is your Na Jaemin. The boy of every girl’s dreams, sadly you’re best friend and walking nightmare. Normally your friendship is full of laughter and bright smiles but Jaemin forgot to finish his part of the project that’s due by the end of the day and there’s no way, absolutely no way you’re gonna let this boy ruin your chances of passing this semester.

“Don’t call me that,” You stop and turn to meet his brown eyes and lower your hand from his ear, “You said you were going to finish your part of the project before class started but no obviously you haven’t.” Folding your arms on your chest you walk ahead of him knowing he’ll follow behind.

“Scientifically we have a couple more hours till due time, so how about we just hang out during the meantime..?” He sends you a sly smile and a playful wink.

You glare at him, “We only have till 9 to finish it and turn it in but your dumb ass didn’t finish one single page of what was needed from you in order to have it as a passing grade.”

Your fast small steps take you closer to the library not far from your school. Classes had just ended but your teacher gave your class extra time to revise and fix any errors and turn it in by 9PM to get it graded and depending on if it was turned in late or incomplete, there will be points docked off.

“Relax, We have time. It’s almost 5.” His hand reaches to ruffle your hair bringing himself to walk ahead of you leading you in the direction of the library.

“Don’t ruffle my hair,” Your hands reach up to pat down your hair as you watch him turn around and flawlessly walk backwards so that you can see him. “You’re gonna fall” Your words come out in a small mumble knowing Jaemin will tease you if he hears you worry for him. Which is exactly what happens.

“What’s that? Couldn’t hear you? Did our princess just worry for me?” He stopped in his tracks and tilted his head towards you to meet your gaze.

Abruptly stopping in your tracks, you clutch the straps of your bag and lift your gaze and meet his eyes. There's light dancing in them, colors of mischief and happiness, they're not empty or sad, they're full of colors and shades. Slowly your eyes travel to his eyelashes, his brows, his nose, the apple of his cheeks and slowly but surely his lips. You watch them stretch into a smirk and that's when your eyes snap back to meet his eyes.

“I said I hope you fall” You arm stretches out to push him lightly at his chest, “Hurry lets go you're wasting time”

Walking around him your mind clouded with so many thoughts, ‘Did he see me staring at his lips? Why are they so pretty? Why was I so attracted to him? This shouldn’t be happening’.

You failed to realize he was looking back at you.

.🍂

“I'm done!! Can we go now?” He looks up from his laptop rested on the table separating the two of you. He came in view with your sleeping form. Your head rests between your arms, you are flushed cheeks poking through the hair sprawled across your face. Your hands hidden in the depth and warmth of your sleeves, the hood of your hood slightly sliding off the top of your head.

His smile grows wider remembering the nights you guys slept together as children. He’s your childhood friend, Your best friend. The one that held your hand when you were scared, The one that protected you from bullies, and the one who gave you his jackets and hand warmers on winter school days. He packs up his things and gathers up your books and textbooks, placing them back in their places before squatting down beside your chair gently moving your hair behind your ear.

“Y/n.. Wake up, we can go now.” He gently pats your arm, watching you slowly open your eyes he stands up silently waiting for you to wake up from your small sleep.

“What time is it? Did you finish it? Did you turn it in?” You rub your eyes and look up at him while patting your hair down before covering it with your hoodie.

“It's 7. I did finish and yes, I turned it in. That's what you ask me as you wake up?” He raises his eyebrow and shrugs off his jean jacket before swinging his bag over his shoulder. “How about you ask me, ‘Oppa You worked hard, how about we go eat something at the cafe down the street?’” His voice raising a couple octaves higher in an attempt to mimic your voice, he places his jacket on your head before putting his hand on his stomach adding a small pout in the end.

You roll your eyes and pull his jacket over your hoodie while standing up, “I'm not going to call you oppa. Thank you for finishing your part of the project, I'll pay for your food as a thank you and then we're going home, okay?”

As you look up at him you realized you can't get out because where you decided to sit was almost like a booth and your only way to get out was through where Jaemin is currently blocking your way. Unless you go under or over the table but that's besides the point.

“Uh s’cuze me Jaemin. Let me get through so we can get there early.” You look down and start to fiddle with your fingers as you feel his strong gaze on you. “Uhm,. Jaem-”

“How about we make it a date? and I pay for it instead?” He tilts his head and you swear your face couldn’t have gotten any redder than a tomato.

“Huh? Wait, What?” You stumble on your words as you look up from your hands.

“Let me take you out on a date?” He comes closer to you, obviously you in your flustered state steps back.

“A date? Like we go out? Like how we have always done after studying? ” Your head tilts to the side as you curiously watch his next move while subtly moving backwards.

“Yeah but instead you come as my girlfriend” He reaches for your hand and pulls you out of your seat.

“Aye Na Jaemin if you’re messing with me i’m gonna tell auntie that you’re being a bully” You glare up at him and slap his chest with your other hand.

“No! I'm being serious! Be mine. My princess.” He grabs your other hand on his chest and holds it in place. “Only mine”

He leans down meeting your lips, softly applying pressure on your lips, slowly dancing along with his own. His hands moving your hands up over his shoulders and his own arms feeling their way down to your waist.

The sunset making its way through the squared windows giving the library a glow of an orange hue. Sun rays cascading down on the rows of bookshelves and the desks. Everything looks and feels so ethereal and angelic.

With him you’re safe. Your Na Jaemin.

.🍂

a/n: sorry it took me so long to post it was saved in our drafts for the longest of times, im just the queen of procrastination and think my work is absolute garbage and have low self esteem.

n e ways i hope y’all liked/enjoyed it >.<  

expect more (but not soon bc i procrastinate) luv ya’ll

main masterlist

nct masterlist

#na jaemin #jaemin nct #jaemin imagines #jaemin scenarios #jaemin x reader #nct masterlist #nct imagines #byuniieo #highchool!au #nct imagine #multifandom imagines

[transrightsjimin]

@trespassers-will​ ok here we go

i also watched the various videos hidden inside each photo and the videos that were posted today as well and took notes too hjfhk

1. hobi’s room

okay so i thought i would rank jin’s room first but then i saw hobi’s room and i saw that couch nd went OMG okay thats no.1!! i love this interior so so much, like i normally hate orange and blue as a combination but this seems almost more like red and blue and it really reminds me of hopeworld. there’s many pop art-like graphic design posters adorning the walls, showing lines like ‘hope‘, ‘sweet’ and ‘my way‘. the shoes on the closet(?) behind him were disaplayed bc those are the colours we wears the most in his fashion. and then there’s this iconic inflatable clear pink couch and him wearing a pink robe and just GOD what a mood, i want a room like this!! the chair reminds me a lot of the type of fun quirky furniture i fantasized about and incorporated into my drawings as a kid when i was around 8-11, probably because i got inspired by stuff like totally spies and polly pocket, which had all these designs clearly inspired by 60s and 70s space age design but more in pink and purple i guess.

also i hate the search for such stills bc even w safe search on, you still have godawful f3tish drawings depicting those kids from totally spies ending up in search results and it’s disgusting. but yeah it reminded me of that

when i say polly pocket, i particularly mean this quik-clik (magnetic clothes and hair) era in 2005 which was what i had some stuff from. i had that couch / movie night! set and the pool and that

also i just really like hobi’s room because with all the posters and cabinets and clothing items laid out and a carpet and fun colours and whatnot, it really feels like an actual room you could live in, unlike any of the other rooms which feel very empty or too minimalist to me. but YEAH hobi’s room is my fav, i love the way a fuller room feels more cozy and habitable and floaties and inflatable floaties are AMAZING

2. jin’s room

jin’s room is so prettyyyy!! jins explanation of the room was very uhm confident and funny but i love that. the couch looks like a lilac shell, which makes sense as everything else looks very pearlescent. i really love cool-toned pastels like lilac, powder / baby blue, periwinkle and everything just looks like it’s part of a waiting hall for mermaids or something. there’s also gems in it which took me a while to realize bc i only noticed the glass chandelier and lamp but then i saw them in his hand nd on the table. i dont rly care abt gems / jewels but overall i just love how this whole room speaks ‘pretty‘ to me. robes are always a plus. as i was writing this, i was also reminded of hair extension mullet jin with iridescent clothing and all and that is actually my all time fav photoshoot / look of him. him saying he’s the gem of the room makes sense too as he’s sitting in the shell like a pearl. jin pretty pretty mermaid

ok from here on its getting harder bc place 3-8 is not so much abt which is nicer but which one actually makes me feel any emotion bc i just feel too exhausted for excitement over comebacks or anything really. also minimalism doesnt make me feel anything either. but ill try

3. jungkook’s room

ok ive been staring at a screen w few sleep for too long so ill try to go through my ranking faster bc ive been working on this post for too long, also partially bc i cant focus nd partially bc theres some i just rly dont feel much for but i feel bad for ranking one lower than the other or ranking smth higher when ive talked to someone who dislikes a room i like dghkfdf

but yeah i like jungkooks room! its a very intense blue tht might make you depressed if youre in it too long but again i love how theres multiple items stacked in the bg and intense blue lights, and the ceiling looks like it has soundproof padding. its like youre in a recording studio or at some vaguely nostalgic party of a friend of my mom, who had plants in her home nd rock music nd the tv on and was smoking nd it was a bit dark and mysterious. i like it, it intrigues me a bit nd makes me miss going to concerts. also this pic rly just reminds me of 2008-2010 pop music videos where theres always a party and dj and people are wearing sunglasses or something and theres a dance break at the end

4. yoongi’s room

also blue!! the first time i saw this pic it was bc someone sent it to me to say how ugly they thought the decoration / editing looked w the metallic dripping stuff from the couch and whatnot but i kinda like it :( i like his velvety clothing and the light blue in the rest of the room is really pretty. i like mirror themes when done well nd i like how the reflectiveness shows also in the metallic dripping nd metallic spheres and the mirror hes standing on nd the way light reflects on his clothes and from the lamp. only the lamp feels a bit too much like a contemporary art installation for me nd his room already is a bit too empty for my liking nd i had the feeling when i watched the vid of him walking through the room that there was not much to interact w in the room like it was a bit dull. his voice in the explanation videos made it feel more like a place of peace / solitude rather than boredom or loneliness though.

5. namjoon’s room

ehh i think place 5, 6 and 7 are interchangable at this point. namjoon woulve ranked lowest but i listened to his explanation videos and saw him goof around in today’s video and appreciated it a bit more. the room still looks quite minimalist and not super comfortable, like youre not allowed to touch anything there (which is the same for jin i guess but i dont view that as smth meant to look like a living room). i do like how the wood theme is present throughout each wall nd in various items and w the windows nd use of space it feels a bit inspired by japanese interior design and that that is inspired by his bonsai tree nd love for woodwork, but im not sure. i was actually quite shocked some of his explanations were so short. so yeah i place this 5th bc i like how coherent the theme is but it doesnt feel cozy or inviting nd still very cold to me, maybe bc it looks too expensive or minimalistic in terms of colours.

6. jimin’s room

i like the flowers but also i dont like tiny flowers nd they tend to be the stinkier ones. i kind of like how jimins room feels the most like a grandma one w all the flowers nd offwhite and the lamp and beige i think? but the colours are so muted and if anything it feels like a place for a bridal photoshoot nd im just so bored. i love jimin nd feel bad for ranking a room he curated so low but it rly creates no serotonine in my brain, just melatonine bc im sleepy. i like how the room i obviously quite packed w stuff, but then the washed out colours make everything still look very bleak. hmm. i do like how the flowers reach outside the borders unlike w any of the others’ photos. im about to fall asleep so let me quickly finish this post

7. tae’s room

the picture in the middle behind him is interesting nd i dont know how he made that, nd i do like how he described his room as a place where there would always be enough food for visitors. i know it’s meant to communicate some highbrow, artsy vibe but w the weird editing and lightning nothing looks real in the room he’s in (including himself, like it doesnt even look like hes in the room) and it just looks kitschy instead of artsy. yeah i dont gravitate towards this one, it’s like deep-fried and desaturated at the same time nd i tend to avoid looking at it subconsciously

8. the first room photo

i first posted a long description here why but it disappeared but in short. this photo evokes no emotional response to me other than think of kind of crappy hotel rooms i was in w my parents while on vacation nd we slept in the same room or something nd the beds were awful nd made my moms chronic pain worse. the clothing is very boring and so r the colours of the room. i know bangtan curated stuff but its still the least interesting photo to me, maybe im too depressed to feel anything idk

im sorry this was prob very boring TT_TT i tried my best to make a ranking but i rly dont know nor care as much as i would want to

#asks #trespassers will #rambles #long post

[yousaidyes]

how are you? have been drinking water? anything happen thats semi interesting? i suck at convos lmao, but yeah!! also any progress on HOT (i cant with that name-)- 🌈 anon

um, at this point i barely even am, anon. 😭 thank god the weekend is here because lmao i was on my last fucking legs. i hate my job. i hate formal suits. i hate board rooms. i hate black coffee. i hate pretending im a normal human being! my antisocial-depressed-anxietyridden ass is missing student life like hell. i wanna go back to colleegggeeee 😭 and nope, haven't been drinking any water. istg there's black coffee running in my veins. anywho. enough whining. it's a weekend and i'll damn well make sure to live the fuck out it. i'll drink lots of water and roam around naked in my room and read byler meta and stalk people on instagram. yes, this was my life before. 

anything interesting? oh god yes! i made out with my best friend of nine years *screams* 😂😂😂 the only highlight of not only this week but the whole year. 💀 well, save for the fact that i wrote a fic this year *screams even louder* which reminds me… 

ughhh i can't with that name either it makes me blush 😂 sadly there's not much progress plotwise. i was packed with work. didn't get the time. and when i did… instead of writing more i made another outline for the third chapter like an idiot. :) but it did help me realize some things:

first, it's going to be one long ass chapter. like i've only just written the starting scene and it's already more than 3k which was… the avg length of previous chapters??? and if we add that to the middle portion and the ending scene i'm already done writing… it's 6k???? so like???? it's because these shitheads have stopped listening to me and are doing their own thing and using me to make it happen. blame them! i swear it's like trying to herd a pair of chaotic kittens. cute and soft and fluffy little kittens but also evil as fuck! so i have no choice but to give up and let them guide me. can't help thinking of the time it was only supposed to be a oneshot with a 4k smut scene lolol

second, it's going to be full of action. no more of mike sitting idle, no more of zoning out, no more of flowery thoughts. i wanted to make it fluffy like the rest of the fic but when i tried to do that, none of it sat right with me. and then i realized… the graph is changing with each chapter. while mike was totally lost in his head in chapter one and both absorbed in his thoughts and aware of his surroundings in chapter two, he's gonna have to be in full control now; not only of his actions but also his thoughts. bc there are some things – some facts he isn't allowing himself to acknowledge until it's the right time. which is a challenge for me to achieve bc those facts are practically impossible to avoid while writing. 😭 he's such an idiot. 😩 but i suppose it's unfair to put that on him since it was my idea. 💀 i guess i just never expected him to take me so seriously but then he did and now im in deep shit.

third, i have to get over my shyness with the word “dick” otherwise this whole fic is going to shit and we're all screwed. :) i thought of using a substitute for the word like chicken nugget or something (a writing tip i saw on a writeblr) but that just made it worse. and yes i know smut can be written without mentioning dicks just fine but no! i love it sm when it's mentioned in the fics i read. i wanna give back what i like receiving, damn it! fuck it if im a pussy about it. dicks dicks dicks! there.

#this is sooooo long #sorry #like i said i have no concept of word limit #and this week was difficult #heads or tails? #asks

[semiconducting]

just reflecting on some personal growth stuff from last year !

im actually. genuinely okay. like i think im starting this year feeling okay! which is atypical. 

i think i can attribute it to the enormous amount of work id put into myself over the past year...i remember one year ago being extraordinarily depressed and really just. high strung? incredibly anxious but exhausted. and i fell down a descent slowly from not eating, to getting really irritable and not handling conflicts with friends well, to actively self harming again, to the point where i remembered sitting in a coffee shop with one of my friends and saying out loud that i need to go to therapy. and that i was going to talk to a mutual friend of ours about how the therapy services on campus are. which was a huge step for me! ive always had trust issues with therapy services since i was 12 for reasons i wont go into, but im sure you can gather the point of.

and then, literally the next day after saying that, got news about campus shutting down because of the virus.

and i made all of the effort possible to reach out to my friends and get things figured out to weather the storm because i KNEW shit was going to get bad if i didnt. but only one of my friends was really keeping up, and thats because he and i do homework together so we were already in a rhythm of talking every single week no matter what. and thats not to say that im ungrateful for him or the fact that even still he was there for me while i was going through hell, i have this thing about Not Putting All My Problems On And Confiding In One Person And One Person Only. so i withdrew, i stopped talking to everyone, i stopped logging into my classes, i didnt do any homework, i didnt lead my workshops, didnt hold office hours...i was just wallowing in my own misery

and i made plans to kill myself. and thats like, i mean i could say that several dozen times over the course of a year since i was like 12, but i mean a legitimate walkthrough plan. had my hiking bag packed with everything i was going to use, decided where i was going to, and was going to prep myself for it. wrote drafts and drafts of suicide notes until i decided just leaving the contact info of people who needed to know asap was all i was going to leave. in addition to sticky notes on some stuff in my room for what needed to be returned to who, or if something should go to someone in particular...

and i acted as normally as i could around my housemates. attributed my not leaving my room much to being busy with classes. i have a rule to myself to always sleep at least one night before killing myself because if im really serious about going through with it it can always wait one day. this time i decided i was going to clean my room and leave it as pristine as possible. the last thing i had to do was a load of laundry, and then i was going to do it.

and then someone from campus showed up at my door. because one of my professors filed a report and i hadnt responded to any of the emails id received checking in on me.

so i readjusted. caught up on my schoolwork, just barely finished the semester and definitely didnt do it strong or well (god bless the pass/fail option bc of covid LOL), but i did it nonetheless. went home, started my internship, had a miserably mundane summer.

i grew bitter and apathetic. i was angry at my friends for not being responsive when i reached out to them to talk or hang out or do anything. i got tired of dealing with it. i was tired of feeling alone and like no one gave a shit about me except for when it was convenient for them. i decided that i wasnt going to deal with people who werent willing to put any effort into me, so i stopped talking to everyone and kept up with people who were willing to reach out after the fact.

it’s definitely not the best approach. it’s really unforgiving and it doesn’t give people a lot of benefit of the doubt, but i think it was necessary in some respect. i didn’t have any criteria for how people needed to reach out, or how long after, or whatever, just that they did. really needed people in my life who are willing to communicate with me. i was honest with how i was feeling and why i did things if they did, apologized for the shitty approach, thanked them for still being willing to talk to me, and worked out the best way for both of us to keep things going.

over the months i dont think i really regret the decision, because it’s been a weight off my shoulders. i feel a lot better. i’m far more okay with where i stand in all of my friends’ lives, even if that’s not as a priority and even if that’s as just someone to talk to and catch up with like a couple times a year. it took a bit for it to pay off but it’s nice to take a look at people i was putting far too much work into and upon reflection realizing that they only interacted with me when they needed something from me, and not for me as a person. i think there are still people where there are loose ends and i think i may try reaching out myself to tie those up at some point, whenever i have the energy and clarity of mind for it. but i guess at the end of the day i just decided that people who weren’t willing to communicate weren’t worth the time. i’m okay if that communication means i need to be the one to initiate conversations even! i just need to know that.

but yeah. i came back to ny and started the semester totally apathetic and angry. i was so fucking depressed and bored with everything even if i was keeping myself incredibly busy. the only thing that i found rewarding (and what was just barely keeping me going) was leading my workshop for the intro optics class. 

and then a friend -- the same friend i was at the coffee shop with -- reached out to catch up. and i was honestly really bitter and angry with him and was prepping myself to start listing out issues that i hadnt been able to address with him beforehand (side note, while telling friends the issues you have with them is important, listing shit out all at once is hardly ever a good approach especially without warning LOL) but ended up...just having a calming and comfortable conversation about what was going on in our lives since we last saw each other. 

n later that day i ended up reaching out to an old friend that i had been meaning to catch up with because we fell out of contact, but had just barely been trying to start talking again in the months before this but had kept missing opportunities to properly converse. but we talked again, and we set up a day to hike and catch up.

and he comes to my house and picks me up. and i get in his car. and its like, holy shit, its been almost a year since ive seen you. and we hugged. and just started to catch each other up on the mess that had been our lives since we’d actively been in contact. we hiked, he told me about the books he wanted to write, we talked about people we knew, we talked about politics, we talked about school, we talked about life, and it was just as comfortable as if not a day had passed...even though it was obvious that he and i were both changed people over the past year. nothing about our friendship was any different though.

we resolved to hanging out with each other every week. decided we both needed the interaction, appreciated having each other around, and had a nice overlap of free time in the week that worked well. friday nights unless otherwise specified.

it was totally unexpected. he’d always been a great friend to me, but i never expected us to get as close as we did. neither did he. he’s probably the first person in my life (or at least in a very long time, and certainly the only person at the time) that i’d been so comfortable with that i practically had no boundaries around. none that needed to be addressed, anyway, because the only possible ones to throw up wouldn’t even come up (but of course, i constantly reassured that as soon as anything came up i would let him know because early on he kept asking sjhdkjfh). 

he became something for me to look forward to in the week. towards the beginning he was a shoulder to lean on when i needed it and was willing to listen to things i hadn’t been able to tell anyone out loud. and he confided in me as well. it was comfortable. it was safe. it was a level of trust with vulnerability that i’d never shown anyone else. 

but it wasnt even just that! it was fun! hes so fun. we could talk about everything and nothing, and hes one of the only people where i feel like i have to keep up with him in conversation instead of the other way around. we’d jump from topic to topic so much faster than either of us could think and it was all always so interesting. littered with humour that was just dumb and simple. i felt comfortable just being an idiot with him. i felt like i had nothing to prove. 

for the past few years ive held to the sentiment that i like to hang around with people that make me a better person. but somehow, with him, its not that i felt like he made me a better person, but that he made me more myself. he saw who i was without any kind of fronts. and i always was afraid to show anyone that me because i always assumed that they would be depressing, loathsome, bitter, angry, and vicious.

but....i’m not. i learned that i’m incredibly loving. that i’d do fuckin anything to for my friends, but always in a way that was healthy and rewarding for both of us. i’m very light-hearted and my sense of humour is so stupid, but also very analytical and thoughtful. just a bit judgmental and pretentious, but always for things that people dont expect. totally open minded in discussions. an avid explorer, and a bit of a thrillseeker. and so, so, so affectionate.

i realized im. not as horrible as ive always made myself out to be. i accepted that i didnt need to punish myself for things beyond my control. i realized that i could believe people when they tell me that they enjoy my company, or appreciate things i do for them, or that they think i’m a worthwhile person to keep around. 

its not that i dont have my flaws, its not that there arent things that i have to work on still. but maybe, at my core, i’m not actually motivated by spite, i’m not actually a hopeless pessimist, and that i’m not...broken. i’m not some secretly irredeemable monster.

and for a period of time i’ve been in a place where i could say i was genuinely...happy! and i don’t think i’ve ever been able to say that. i’ve certainly been made happy by doing things with friends in the past, i’ve been through periods where i’ve been okay with where i am at in life, but ever since i was like 12 (but probably even before that) i’d never been able to say that i was happy. it’s not that i wasn’t stressed, it’s not that things in my life were all going perfectly....but they didn’t define my mood. they didn’t define my view of myself. school, despite being the primary focus of my life, wasn’t dictating how i was feeling. even when things were agonizing and depressing because of school, i was still okay. i was incredibly stable.

and i owe that all to him being there for me. and hardly any of these things were anything that he was really directly responsible for, like its not that he sat there and just constantly showered me in reassurance and praise or anything that changed how i view myself...it was just having his company. it was just being able to sit there and listen to him go on about some totally random thing that he was exceptionally knowledgeable about. it was exploring caves and climbing hills. it was cooking together. it was talking about science. it was talking about love. it was talking about music. it was just having a consistent presence in my life, someone that treated me like a priority but never at the expense of himself, and someone i didn’t have to walk on any kind of eggshells around. it was someone who trusted me and respected me not by anything id done to warrant it, but just because of who i was. 

it was a reminder that i can take care of my own problems, that i just need to be a good presence in someone’s life and for them to be a good presence in mine.

but also that i can accept help from people who genuinely want to offer it! and that that help doesnt always have to be direct. that sometimes helping me means i get to do something nice for someone else LOL

it was everything i ever needed and i wasnt even looking for it. he meant the world to me and i was so, so thankful for the circumstances that led us here because i was so happy to have him in my life again. i was happy that we were able to get closer because we’d only been able to interact in professional environments before.

and then i realized i was in love. and i had a sexuality crisis. but i didn’t recognize it until i fell hard because it was a different kind of love than i’ve felt for anyone before. it was intense but entirely too comfortable. but i knew that i cared about him, and that he cared about me, and that i really didn’t need anything about our friendship to change but that it had potential to be something even greater than it was.

and i resolved to tell him about it...until he told me first. and that moment was, as cheesey as it sounds, nothing less than magical. we were both so happy and giggly and it was so sweet and warm and i dont know if im ever going to be able to recreate that feeling because it was just so particular, so specific to being something between me and him. its not that i cant love anyone else as strongly or be as happy as i was necessarily, but it’ll never be that same kind of feeling.

but things happened. things got complicated. i think he panicked. and then things that happened just felt so dirty and hollow and dark. he hurt me really, really, really badly, and it managed to happen in the span of four days.

and i’ve spent the last <2 weeks dealing with it. i think he’s dealing with it in his own ways, but realistically i don’t know how because i havent seen him since christmas eve, and we were both definitely not being completely genuine that day. was at his house for a small family party and he and i were the only ones who knew what happened. it was too soon to have healed from it any, but we couldnt exactly be honest about it then either.

and im doing better. im genuinely okay now. and, interestingly, i think i owe it to the past few months of hanging out with him and how ive been able to come to terms with a lot of things about myself. ive been able to show myself compassion. its really ironic.

its a situation where i was desperately trying to throw blame onto myself for, because if i could then i could punish myself for it and use it to fuel that deep rooted self hatred and then i could fix it, because i’d be the one responsible for fixing it. but, and i’ve talked to quite a few friends about it trying to figure out who to confide in about it, everyone who knows about it insists that i cant blame myself for it. theres not a thing about the situation that i can blame myself for. and its so fucking weird, because i cant bring myself to fully blame him for it either, just because it was so ABSURDLY out of character that it doesnt feel like it was anything he could have done to me. it was a boundary that i wasnt ever supposed to worry about him crossing, because he’s just not that kind of person.

and it’s the type of situation that you’re supposed to totally be willing to cut someone off for but...i can’t. he’s genuinely remorseful and i think he doesn’t really know how to deal with it either. and despite it being a massive fuck up its still like...the first fuck up in our friendship from either of us. and i’m willing to see this through. i think it’s salvageable, even if it’ll never be the same as it was. i have faith in our friendship. i think we can make it work.

but no matter what happens. i owe him more than i’ll ever be able to repay him for. and i’ll never, ever be able to hate him because of that. i’m in a much, much better place because of him and for that i’ll always be thankful.

#shut up mega #this ended up being longer and more in depth abt the earlier half of the year than i meant it LOL #a summary of my 2020 i spose #also there's some kinda detailed talk of #suicide ment - #self harm ment - #IM CRYING AFTER WRITING THIS OUT LMAOOOO

[voltedyoongi]

lee minho- neighbour au

(listen i’m imagining the apartments from big bang theory coz i’m binging it rn so if you dk what that looks like get on google)

-so you’d been looking for a place to live for a while now since your best friend had announced she was going to move in with her boyfriend leaving you high and dry

-after a month of searching, you’d finally found the perfect place and today was moving day

-said best friend was currently on holiday with said boyfriend and you didn’t want any of your other friends getting too close to all your stuff so you were all on your on

-you couldn’t afford a moving truck so you were spending the day driving as many boxes as you can fit into your car to the new apartment taking them up the stairs one by one before going back to your old apartment to repeat the process

-you had reached the third box moving escapade of the day when you bumped box first (literally) into a group of guys as you went up the stairs

-‘oh, shit sorry’ you apologise, ‘didn’t see you over the box’ you laugh lightly.

-‘it’s okay’ one of the two guys says, ‘where are you going to? can we help you?’

-‘4B, and it’s fine really if i put my back out i’ll have an excuse to lie in bed all day’

-the two boys smile at your comment, nodding, ‘well we’re across the hall if you need us’ the second one says, ‘just knock if you need any help, those boxes seem heavy. i’m ‪jisung by the way, and this is jeongin’

-you smile gratefully, secretly relieved you wouldn’t have to lug boxes all day if you really didn’t want to.

-and that’s what it came to, you were tired and moody when you packed the last round of boxes into your car and got to your new apartment block. you grumpily hauled a box of pillows up the stairs to your apartment before glancing at 4A nervously, where jisung had said he and jeongin would be.

-it wasn’t that you found them particularly intimidating, they’d seemed lovely, it was more the notion of interrupting the evening of people you barely knew to ask them for strenuous help.

-alas, you really couldn’t be fucked to drag up the remaining five boxes, one of which was filled with books.

-so you reluctantly skulked across the hall and prepared yourself to have to socialise.

-you knock on the door, your nerves on fire, only nulled by the fact you were constantly reminding yourself jeongin and jisung seemed like really sweet guys who wouldn’t make a fuss of carrying some boxes.

-the door swings open and you internally freeze.

-a handsome man had answered with cute dark hair and a loose white t-shirt.

-‘shit shit shit’ you think, had you gotten the wrong apartment? were you about to completely embarrass yourself searching for two random men who didn’t even live here? no, surely not...they had said they lived across the hall from you...

-he looks at you expectantly and you kick into action

-‘erm sorry i’m looking for jisung and jeongin, they said they’d help me move some boxes upstairs from my car and to come across the hall...’

-‘oooh’ he chuckles, ‘sorry they’re not in right now, jisung doesn’t even live here’ he scoffs.

-‘oh sorry’ you mumble, ready to trudge down to your car and break your body with the last of those boxes

-but before you can turn he’s marching out his apartment to the stairs, he stops short of the third step and looks at you expectantly.

-‘you coming?’ he asks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

-‘where are you going?’ you answer cluelessly, it not quite clicking in your head

-‘downstairs to your car, that’s where the boxes are right? unless you’ve parked on the roof.’

-‘ye right’ you retort, matching his tone dripped in sarcasm ‘i can park my flying car on the roof but i can’t carry five boxes.’

-he grins at you, before walking down the stairs prompting you to follow in his wake

-you don’t get a chance to interact with him on the way down as he’s marched ahead so the next conversation you share is once you reach the pavement outside your block.

-‘which one’s yours?’ he asks, eyeing the cars around.

-you point to your small red car across the street and he grins

-‘why are you smiling?’ you tease him defensively, he shrugs still looking at your car ‘it’s cute, but i don’t think you could fly to the roof with it.’

-‘nah not quite,’ you grin back ‘maybe just the fifth floor’

-‘i admire your ambition’ he plays along, but before you can reply he’s halfway across the road to your car and you’re trudging after him.

-you press the button on your keys and unlock the boot to reveal the boxes.

-‘here we are’ you sigh ‘if you could help me on two trips, we can both take two up and then i’ll run down and grab the last, that would be great.’

-he nods, looking down at the boxes before taking the heaviest one, the one filled with all your books.

-but he doesn’t seem phased at all by it’s weight when it’s in his arms, he’s either very strong or very good at pretending not to be in pain at the hands of your literary collection

-you grab another, lighter, box and put it on the ground to close the boot. you pick it up and then to see that minho stayed and watched you do so rather than striding ahead again.

-‘not so fast this time?’ you ask, as you two walk across the road back to your building.

-he shrugs, but you don’t miss the way he flinches slightly at the weight. ‘didn’t want you left behind unable to carry your stuff’

-‘hey!’ you exclaim playfully, ‘i’m not that weak’

-‘alright sure, you’re strong as the hulk, just stop pouting’

-‘i never pout’ you pout- prompting him to scoff, but smile.

-you’ve made it to your building's entrance now, meaning you’ll have to conquer the stairs next. there’s not enough room for you to walk side by side with the boxes, so you opt to go in front of him.

-‘don’t you want you falling on me when you collapse under the weight of the box’

-he doesn’t answer so you turn around to look at him as you walk up, he looks back up at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

-you gasp jokingly, ‘did you just check my ass out?’

-he sees red, and looks down at the box in his arms, ‘no’ he mumbles, but you can the tips of ears are tomato coloured

-‘you totally checked out my ass’ you grin, stopping walking to make him look at you

-‘so what if i did?’ he says in a tone yk he wants you to take as a sarcastic quip, ‘take it as a compliment and keep walking’

-you do as he says, changing the subject but grinning from ear to ear.

-you put the boxes in your apartment and then go back down, friendly banter bouncing between the two of you the entire time, he even goes down alone to get the last box to let you start unpacking earlier.

-you’ve opened up your box of books when minho brings your box in, he places it on the floor before coming over to you and the box of books

-‘let’s see what was so worth me almost breaking my arms to get up here’

-you chuckle and let him lean forward to inspect your collection, ‘hmm...’ he muses ‘i approve.’

-your first instinct is to make a sarcastic comment but instead you hold back

-‘thanks’ you smile

-‘that’s okay’ he smiles back ‘i need to go set up i have some friends coming over, but i’ll catch up with you soon yeah?’

-‘yeah...thanks for all your help minho’

-‘that’s okay y/n’

--

-surprisingly you were doing a very good job unpacking, normally you'd procrastinate doing anything till you absolutely had to or until you died...whichever came first

-but today you were oddly eager to see how your new apartment would look all finished, and it was going well

- a pile of empty cardboard boxes had cultivated on your floor so you decided now was a good time to take them downstairs to the bins.

-you were on your way down the stairs when you bumped into none other than jisung and jeongin

-’hey!’ they grinned at you, prompting you to grin back, in a good mood having unpacked so well 

-’i see you managed to unpack’ commented jisung, nodding towards the collapsed boxes in your clutches

-’yep’ you smile, and im almost all done unpacking my stuff too, i’ve done well’

-’maybe you deserve a treat?’ jeongin says playfully, to which you raise your eyebrows

-’i like treats’ you reply, pushing him to tell you what he had in mind 

-’we’re having a little get together in our apartment right now, once you've gotten rid of those old boxes you should join us’

-you ponder the idea before eventually nodding, ‘that would actually be really nice...i’ll be right up’

--

-you ran across to your apartment to change into something a bit more appropriate, a tank top and shorts weren't going to quite cut it today

-you slid on some comfy yet sleek jeans with a white crop top that highlighted you figure oh-so-casually

-you brushed your hair quickly and then made your way across the hall for the second time in a day 

-you knocked but before you could pull your hand away the door had swung open and you were met with an overjoyed jisung

-he grabs you by the arm and pulls you in shouting happily about your arrival, had he somehow managed to get drunk in the short time it took for you to change?

-he wraps his arm around your shoulder, a beer in his hand

-’guys meet y/n! y/n meet the guys’

-you glance around nervously, there were 8 other guys including jeongin and minho and a few had girls sitting on their laps who you assumed were there girlfriends

-there was a chorus of ‘heys and his’ in response to your introduction but you couldn’t help but notice that minho hadn’t said anything, instead sifting through the takeout container on his lap

-jisung’s breath stunk of beer as he howled out at the silent boy ‘minhooooOoooo say hello to my new frienddd’

-you stand there awkwardly before minho looks up smirking ‘oh, we've already met.’

-’you guys know each other?!’ questions jeongin, to which you nod

-minho pats the arm of the big armchair he was sitting on, still smirking at you, ‘come sit with me y/n, everyone else here is a little bit drunk’ he playfully whispers loudly, nodding towards jisung.

-you smile back at him, the banterous connection you guys had shared earlier rising to the surface. you awkwardly perch on the arm of his chair and he begins to quietly tell you everyone’s names so you don't feel too lost.

-as the night continued the boys and girls around you got more and more drunk, leaving only you and minho as the sober ones. normally you'd be drinking alongside with them but you felt weird getting drunk with people you barely knew, and it didn't really matter minho was there to be sober with you.

-the two of you stayed perched on the armchair together, chatting between yourselves happily and pretty much ignoring everyone else

-at one point one of the boys had knocked into you sending you toppling onto minho’s lap, 

-’changbin!’ he hissed at the raven-haired giggly boy who was tripping and giggling away from you two already 

-’sorry’ minho apologised, rolling his eyes but moving up on the chair so that you didn't have to get off. instead you had your bum on the cushion of the chair with your legs over his lap, and the conversation continued.

-eventually, the party died down, the guys with girlfriends were stumbling around with their mouths attached to each other most definitely pursuing something further

-’well’ you sighed, rising from minho’s lap ‘i’m gonna go back before babies start to be conceived.’

-he stands up with you, smiling at your comment. ‘not a bad plan, i’ll walk you to my door’

-you make your way through the pairs of people either making out or having ‘single person banter’

-’well’ you finish as you get to minho’s front door ‘it was very nice being the only sober one with you’

-’ditto’ he grins back, nodding along.

-’bye...’ you say happily, before walking across the hall to your apartment

--

-you were alone in your apartment for approximately half an hour before there was another knock 

-you trudge tiredly to open the door but wake up as soon as you see who it is 

-’minho? what’s up?’ 

-he stands there nonchalantly, but there’s hints of nervousness in hs demeanour

-’erm...’ he smiles half heartedly ‘you know how you said people in there were gonna be making babies? well they’ve kind of already started in my room...think i could crash on your couch for tonight?’

-’hmmm’ you muse playfully to which he grins and rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue into the side of his cheek to convey his annoyance. ‘of course you can’ you laugh opening the door and nodding him in ‘but only because you carried my books upstairs’

-’ah of course’ he plays along, walking inside ‘we’re even now’

-’well...i don't know, i think you still owe me one really’ you cheek, closing the door behind him.

-‘oh yeah?’ he quips

-’yeah.’ you reply defiantly 

-and then he’s kissing you.

-he’s clearly had something to drink since you left because you can taste the alcohol on his lips, but something tells you this isn't some tipsy fluke

-when you pull away he grins, nuzzling his nose against yours. ‘now we’re even’ he chuckles.

-he give you another quick peck before pulling away and walking to the door

-’wha- where are you going?’

-’oh, i lied about my bedroom i don't need the couch. i’ll see you tomorrow y/n’ he smirks before leaving

-and with that he was gone and you were alone with your thoughts and the taste of alcohol from his lips on yours.

it was getting a bit longgg but i can write a part two if y’all want lmao just tell me

#minho x reader #minho boyfriend #lee minho #stray kids #stray kids x reader #minho fluff #minho au #stray kids au #bangchan #woojin #changbin #jisung #hyunjin #felix #minho #seungmin #jeongin #fluff #smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fluff #lee minho x reader #lee minho fluff #lee minho boyfriend #stray kids boyfriend #minho imagines #stray kids imagines #minho neighbour #stray kids neighbour #christopher bang

[sher-soc-the-famder]

I know that you don’t want me here

Summary: Patton never wanted them to know. He had dealt with it alone; he had always dealt with these moods alone.

Word Count: 2739

Pairings: Platonic LAMP

Warnings: Depression, allusions to self harm

Notes: Well I am so sorry this took so long anon ^-^;; I hope that it is worth the wait and at least somewhat close to what you were hoping for! I’m working on MTO and the other prompts that are in my inbox, so keep an eye out for those as well!

Read On AO3

Patton picked at the edges of his sleeves, and sighed. He really should get up and turn on the lights. Or do the dishes. Maybe actually make himself some food instead of shoving another piece of bread into his mouth. But the thought of moving just seemed...too hard at the moment. Like he’d be trying to walk through mud instead of air.

His phone buzzed next to his arm and Patton poked it idly. Virgil had been trying to get ahold of him all day, something about thanks for the messages Patton had been sending all week. Which only made Patton feel worse, or it would have if he could dredge up anything other than the numb ache in his chest. Because the messages had been an attempt at distracting himself and Virgil deserved better than that.

My Dark Son <3 10:13 am: pat? r u busy?

My Dark Son <3 12:45 pm: i know u don’t have work

My Dark Son <3 12:48 pm: txt me when u can

My Dark Son <3 1:03 pm: Lo wants me 2 remind u 2 eat 2

My Dark Son <3 3:28 pm: pat im concerned

My Dark Son <3 3:29 pm: if u don’t respond im coming over

Patton took a deep breath and straightened as he started to type out a message. His fingers hovered over the keypad for a long moment before dropping. He should let Virgil know that he was doing alright. That nothing had happened, that it wasn't Virgil's fault Patton wasn't responding. The guilt would only make things worse if he let the messages sit any longer.

But Patton couldn't think of anything to say.

He set his phone back down, leaving the half typed message unsent.

It would blink at him later a daunting taunt that he couldn't even work up the energy to message one of his favorite people. Patton's head slid back down to the table at the thought, and he tugged the hood of his sweater up above his head. The dark helped, just slightly, but did nothing about the pressure on his chest.

He wanted to cry but the thought of crying just made Patton feel worse. Because if he cried than someone really would notice and he would be asked what was wrong. Which was nothing. Nothing was wrong except for himself and his heart. They'd make it into a big deal, and Patton hated the very thought of it.

He didn't want his friends to try and fix something for him. There wasn't anything to​ fix. Just him and his heart that wouldn't work the same as anyone else. Not to mention that they all had it so much worse than him. He was just tired.

Yeah that was it. He was just tired and if he waited long enough it would go away and he could go back to smiling and cheering them all up. Patton could laugh and smile and then laugh and smile some more if that was what they needed him to do, be an ever eternal fountain of positivity. Patton was who they turned to when they needed a smile and he hated to disappoint them.

Which meant that he never let them see him get like this.

He could deal with it alone anyways,

Patton would simply-

Well, he'd do what he had been doing for the past two weeks, do what he had done his whole life.

Patton took a deep breath and finally heaved himself up from the kitchen table. He let the hood fall further over his face, and tugged the sleeves into sweater paws, running his fingers over the soft fluff inside of it. He left his phone on the table, trying to ignore the new surge of guilt at the thought that it would soon be blowing up with more messages that he wouldn't be answering.

Virgil would tell Logan, who would send a couple of texts, one to Roman and a total of three to Patton, before he started to call. Virgil would text up until the moment that he broke Patton's door down. Roman would alternate texts and calls before helping Virgil break into Patton's apartement. At least, that's how it went when one of the other three felt down.

And when they arrived Patton would paste on another smile, crinkle his eyes as he did so they wouldn't be able to see how it didn't reach his eyes. They would fret and Patton would laugh, wave a turned off phone around, make an excuse about how he forgot to charge it. The lie would be bitter on his tongue.

Patton's shoulders curled inward as he shuffled towards his cabinet. He reached up, towards the back where he knew not even Roman in his scavenging would find, and pulled out a box of oreos. Patton always made sure to have a pack for these days. When he needed the comfort of sugar but didn't have the motivation to bake his own batch.

Patton didn't even bite back the guilt and self hatred about that, simply ripping the packet open and shoving a cookie into his mouth. He clutched the box close and wandered away from the kitchen. He settled down on the couch, curling his legs up and then over the armrest. He closed his eyes as he leaned back and tried not to think about when the others would get there.

He dozed, hating that he wanted to simply forget about them at all, hating that even then he couldn't completely. Patton was just so exhausted. He loved his friends to the moon and back. But he- he just couldn’t. Couldn’t care, couldn’t act, couldn’t do anything, he just couldn’t today.

(You fly too high Chickadee, Mother had told him once. It's alright to think about yourself every once and a while. It's not selfish to make sure you're safe before trying to save yourself.)

Patton opened his eyes, staring at the remote for a long minute. He stuffed another cookie in his mouth and told himself that he wouldn't eat another until he had turned on something to watch. Even a little background noise would help, even if the wrong thing would make him cry. Patton stared at the remote again, and ate another cookie.

God, he hated himself in that moment.

He ate another three cookies before finally reaching for the remote. He leaned over the couch, stretching as far as he could. His fingers brushed the remote and he inched it close enough for him to grab without getting up. He straightened, holding the remote next to his oreos for a moment to just breathe​.

Patton stared at the remote in his hands, and hated that as soon as he had put in the effort he didn’t want to watch TV anymore. He let the remote drop to the couch cushion and leaned his head back to doze once more. He should probably try to take a bath or shower, or even respond to those messages from Virgil. But he didn’t. He just...didn’t.

His hand dipped into the box of oreos, blinking sluggishly as he hit emptiness. Patton stared at the box for a long moment. He would have to get up to get more. Patton didn’t even know how long he as been sitting there just eating the cookies. Time felt as much of an illusion as Logan normally said it was in that moment.

Patton didn’t have any other oreos, and the thought of eating anything else made his stomach roll. He might be able to slide by with Kraft mac n’ cheese, but he had run out of that last week and had been getting by the oreos stashed around his apartment. Patton knew from experience that trying to force himself to eat ended with gagging and hours in the bathroom if he tried to force past his gag reflex.

He heaved himself to his feet, letting the box drop to the floor despite the idle thought of throwing it away being what got him moving. Patton tugged his hoodie tighter around himself, arms wrapped around his waist in the closest thing he could do in giving himself a hug.

He ignored the way that his eyes prickeld just for a moment as he bent down to pick up the box.

His socked feet brushed against the the carpet and then the kitchen tile. The sensation grated on his nerves at the same time that wasn’t enough. He wanted more, but he wanted less. Patton wanted his brain to make up its mind.

He dropped the box into his trash can and slid to the floor of the kitchen. Patton pressed his hands to the tile, wanting to relish in the cool tiles. All it did was make him uncomfortable. Patton leaned back against the counters, ignoring the way that one of the cupboard handles dug into his back. The pain was almost a welcome relief from the numbness that wrapped around his heart.

Patton had never hurt himself, not on purpose anyways. He could never work up the courage or stomach for it. Patton ran a fingernail over the inside of his wrist, over and over again. He pressed lightly, not enough to do more than sting as he felt the slide and bump of the tendons just under his skin. He wondered if actually cutting the skin would help.

Pain scared him though, on a normal day.

Now he couldn’t care less. What kept back his fear of pain also held back the energy to truly hurt himself. Patton tipped his head back. One of the vents that connected to the air conditioning turned on, and Patton didn’t move despite the cold air that blew across his hands and face. It seeped past his hoodie and the only effort Patton made at warming himself up was curling into a tighter ball.

He ran a fingernail over his wrist again.

He knew that no one would care as long as he wasn’t being annoying. Patton could mentally picture the glass wall that he had put up himself between him and the others. He had built it with a grin and encouraging words. He had said nothing more substantial about himself, had never offered anything past his positive attitude. They had never asked and he never encouraged them too.

He was selfish for dreaming of them noticing anything was wrong when he went out of his way to hide it.

Patton closed his eyes picturing the cabinet as the glass wall. He wanted to press his back to it and wish that he had the courage to let people through, to see just what sort of pain he was in. He never wanted them to know. He hated that he could never make up his mind. There was no winning. Either he hurt them by lying and remaining silent, or he hurt them by speaking up and adding even more troubles to their burdened shoulders.

Pain sparked in his palm as his nail caught against his tendon and he winced. The movement made him realize that he was shivering. He flexed his hands, nerves tingling at the action. He stared at his hands as the pins and needles ran through them, flexing them again just for the feeling. He wondered if he would have laughed about being numb inside and the becoming numb outside as well on a better day.

Distantly, he registered the fact that his phone buzzed against the table. A bumble bee pushing against a glass wall. Bump, bump, bump. No matter how hard it tried, it couldn’t shatter the glass and reach the flower it saw behind the glass. Patton wasn’t sure he really wanted it to. He wanted-

His skin itched with the need to scratch until he could draw what he wanted out of his body and put the whole thing to rest.

He brought his hands up to press against his eyes, flinching as he felt the wetness already there. He didn’t know when he had started to cry. A little desperately, Patton wiped at his face, but the more that he cleaned himself the harder he sobbed. His breath hiccuped. His chest felt like someone had laid bricks on top of it.

Knocking echoed through his home, and Patton flinched again at the noise. Muffled voices clawed at his ears and Patton couldn’t breath. He didn’t want them to find him like this. He didn’t want anyone to know. He wanted a hug. He hated himself and the world and his body and he was so stupid and overemotional and lazy and useless and-

“Patton?”

Patton squeezed his hand shut, pressing his palms into his eyes. If he couldn’t see them, they wouldn’t see him. A childish and stupid sentiment just like the rest of him.

“Oh Padre,” Roman whispered from his left. Patton hated that he was too exhausted to figure out if it was pity or compassion in the actor’s voice. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t make anyone else feel worse.

“Go ‘way,” he whispered, “‘m fine.”

A hand pressed against his head. Patton curled into an even tighter ball. The fast that he hadn’t washed in over a week screamed at him. The fingers threaded through his greasy hair and Patton bit back a whimper at the gentle touch. Nails scratched against his scalp, a gentle loving pressure that made Patton’s shoulders shake.

“You are most certainly not,” Logan’s voice came from above him. And oh. Logan was the one petting him like there was nothing else he’d rather do than love Patton in that moment. A warm hand against his numb core. Logan’s voice softened, “But that is alright Patton.”

Patton shifted his hands so that he could take a peek at his friends. Virgil’s panicked eyes stared back at him. He crouched down at Patton’s level, looking him over with careful eyes. Patton covered his eyes again, hating the way that his stomach twisted at Virgil’s search. Of course they’d be worried about that. He was acting out of character.

“Didn’t hurt myself,” he mumbled. Logan’s hand in his hair stilled. “Don’t like hurting myself.”

“We didn’t-” Logan’s voice cracked. Patton wanted to tear his own voice out. Stupid. Selfish. How dare he make them worry. He’d be fine in a couple of days. They would have their Happy Pappy Patton and nothing would change.

Calloused hands touched his gently. They curled around his and tugged his hands away from his face. Patton squeezed his eyes shut, but in the brief moment of light he caught sight of Virgil’s gentle face and Roman’s stricken one.

“I don’t like it either,” Virgil whispered, running his thumb over the back of Patton’s hand. Patton’s shoulders dropped at the understanding in his tone. He cracked his eyes open and meet Virgil’s shaky smile. “Too much work, isn’t it? And god, do I hate having to work even more.”

Patton’s lips twitched at the joke.

“There we go,” Virgil coaxed, tightening his grip on Patton’s hands. Patton felt more tears well up in his eyes and even surrounded by their warmth he was so tired. Virgil tugged at him as he tried to curl back in on himself, and Logan’s hand on his head pressed down gently before resuming it’s stroking. “You up for telling us what’s wrong, Pat?”

Patton shrugged. The whole problem was that nothing was wrong. He didn’t have any reason for feeling the way that he did.

“Well this just isn’t fair,” Roman declared into the silence. Patton could feel Virgil’s hands twitch in surprise at the words. Roman pouted and then opened his arms up wide. “The other two get to comfort you and here I am doing nothing! It’s the cruelest thing in the world. I, for one, would very much like a hug.”

He winked. Patton sobbed, just once before throwing himself forward into Roman’s arms. Roman tugged him close, arms wrapping around his waist and face buried in his hair. Patton felt his warmth leech into his own cold bones. They tangled together until Virgil joined them; Logan’s voice above them all starting to rattle off ways that they could help and things they needed to do.

Patton buried his face in Roman’s chest, and let himself fall.

His friends would catch him.

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#Sanders sides #Patton Sanders #Prompts #Depression #Vaguely vent #Allusions to self harm #Platonic LAMP