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nonclassyparty · 2 years

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Starring Role - ACT V (C.S; S.MG)

title; you make me feel like i’m losin’ my virginity, the first time, every time when you’re touching me

summary:

We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.

Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.

It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.

pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader (for now lol)

warnings: smut!!, mentions of dieting

wc: almost 14k

taglist: @joonsthethicc @marievllr-abg @cookiechristie @purenjuniverse @hwaist @littleparkseonghwa @hwasong @hwadump @hongshines @kitty4hwa @knisterlicht @flamingi @revehosh @gayliljoong @naiify @btshook @atzcoke @circusjanreblogs @baguette-atiny @kpopnightingale @xosim @raineadlr @ilikepalta @m4rsluv @gojocatt @smimingi @bubbleteakittyy @mingkiyoo @theactresstarringinurbadreams @mangishii @cryingaboutskz @y2ksturniolo @layzfeelit

buy me a coffee!

act iv / masterlist / act vi

A/N: smut is in italics for this part, there are a couple of more smut scenes but they’re really brief with as little descriptions as possible so i didn’t place a warning for those!

"It's more like every electron in every atom in the universe paused, breathed in deeply, assessed the situation, and then reversed its course, spinning backward, or the other way, which was the right way all along. And afterward, the universe was exactly the same, but infinitely more right."

-Lydia Netzer, How to Tell Toledo from the Night Sky

"We should, uh," He stutters out, breath raggedy, "continue having those lessons."

"We should go for a coff- Oh, hey Mingi!" Hongjoong interrupts his sentence as he spots the newcomer that pulls out a chair next to him and places his backpack in front of the spot on the table.

"Y/N, as I was saying, we should go for a coffee after this. I have a study group at eight and I'm gonna need some caffeine to-"

But you're not listening to a single word leaving Hongjoong's lips as your attention is completely devoted to Song Mingi unpacking his things in the seat opposite of you without a care in the world. You haven't seen him since Saturday.

That Saturday.

Mingi stumbles out of the closet, dragging you out after him with his lips not leaving yours once. You're touching and grabbing, hands tugging on hair, teeth clashing and gasps leaving both of you.

You don't even notice that you're moving until your back is pressed against the door of his bedroom as he grips your jaw, licking into your mouth as you pull him closer with a desperate groan. There's that familiar feeling pulsing through you, the need to have him as close as possible without any barriers between the two of you and you subtly grind down on his thigh that was wedged between your legs.

The sound of a lock turning makes you disconnect from him and you turn your head to the side, where his hand rested on the lock of the door right by your hip. Mingi breathes heavily.

"Is that okay?" He whispers nose brushing yours, probably wanting to know how far you plan on taking this tonight.

You just pull his mouth back on yours and hope he gets his answer from that which he does, as he starts guiding you to the bed and with a couple of adjustments- you're in his lap.

"Hellooooo? Y/N?" Hongjoong's voice drags you out of the memories and your head snaps to him with wide eyes.

"Y-yeah!" You respond, internally cringing at how high pitched your voice had gotten. "Sounds good."

Hongjoong gives you a weird look before shaking his head and going back to his books. Your eyes subconsciously dart to Mingi and a zapping feeling runs through you when your gazes meet.

Mingi's face is otherwise blank but his eyes dance with mirth and you swear that the corner of his lips lift up for a split second before he licks them and goes back to opening his laptop and organizing his notes.

You shift in your seat, feeling a little too hot as you try to focus on the textbook in front of you with pursued lips.

"Wanna try to make a simple program by yourself today?" If there wasn't the silence that followed after Mingi's question, you wouldn't have guessed it was aimed at you with just how high up in the clouds you were.

"Wanna take this off?" He murmurs the question as his fingers run over the buttons of your cropped cardigan and end up playing with the top one, his fingers brushing over the skin of your chest in the process. Mingi's eyes are observing your face, waiting for an answer but you're already too lost to form a coherent thought.

"Uh-huh." You nod like a dumbass and his lips quirk up slightly as his lips connect with yours again and fingers nimbly start to undo each button until the cardigan is slipping down your shoulders and leaving you in your bra.

Mingi's lips part from yours and a gasp leaves you shortly afterwards as his lips start kissing down your neck and his hands grasp your hips tighter at that as you start rubbing against him. He is hard underneath you.

A small groan of his own erupts from his chest and he flips the both of you, so you're laying on the bed with him between your legs.

He swiftly connects your lips again. Both of your lips are puffy and red by now but you don't care. You like that Mingi seems to like kissing you. His warm hands trail down your body again until they reach your boots and he sits up, hands fiddling with the zipper on one of them before he pulls the shoes off. He repeats it on your other leg as well.

"Cute." He mutters with a small smirk, thumb rubbing the inside of your ankle where your socks had Hello Kitty on them. Your cheeks burn a deeper red, you would say something snippy to him but you're just too far gone and only thing you can think about is him and what he could do to you.

His hands gloss over your body again. Up your legs and gripping your hips before he glances at you with dark eyes. You let out an impatient puff of air.

Mingi pulls at the collar of his sweater and tugs it off of himself in one swift move, throwing it to the chair by his desk. Your eyes drunkenly soak up his naked chest. Broad shoulders, slim waist and thick thighs still covered in jeans. Your mouth waters at the sight of his toned torso.

His warm hands glide up your thighs and disappear under your miniskirt, latching onto the elastic band of your panties.

"Let's take these off as well." He whispers, small grin rising on his plump lips as he starts slowly dragging the flimsy material down your legs.

"Y/N?" Mingi's voice snaps your head up and you're faced with both Mingi and Hongjoong staring at you.

"Oh, uh...Sorry, w-what did you say?" You stutter out, swallowing as you blink repeatedly to get your thoughts in check.

Hongjoong looks positively weirded out now, looking at you with a scrunched up face. Mingi, on the other hand, seems to be able to read your mind and looks like he's trying to hold back a smirk which makes sweat collect at the back of your neck as a shaky breath escapes you.

"I asked if you wanted to try to make a program by yourself today. It will be one of your tasks at the exam." He elaborates easily, eyes dancing over your features in amusement and it makes you press your lips in annoyance. Not at him, but at yourself. Why were you acting like a school girl that just lost her virginity to this guy?

"Okay." You nod simply, reaching for your laptop and setting it up in front of yourself. Hongjoong returns to his own work and so does Mingi.

As you wait for it to turn on, you glance at Mingi again. His eyes are trained on his laptop, lower lip tucked between his teeth and a pen dangling off of his fingers. Thoughts of his fingers on your lips flood your mind. What is wrong with you? You can't possibly be this horny.

Suddenly, his fingers tap against his notebook two times and your eyes snap to his.

He's looking back at you with a grin that he can't seem to hide now and your cheeks flush red but you don't break the eye contact. It was a bit of a public fact now that, when it comes to men who know how to make you come, you have very little shame.

Mingi coughs, covering up the smile on his lips with his hand before clearing his throat and handing you a paper. Hongjoong is cluelessly highlighting something in his textbook.

"Here, try this one." Mingi says lowly, gesturing to the paper where the task was printed out and you only nod in response, hiding your face behind your laptop.

You start typing across the keyboard but soon enough, your fingers slow down and you find yourself mindlessly staring into the open program, images of last Saturday plaguing your mind and you try your hardest not to look up towards Mingi again.

"Mingi-..." Hongjoong continues talking to Mingi and the more he speaks, the deeper you get lost into your head.

"Mingi." You gasp out, fisting the sheets on his bed in your hands as a means of stopping yourself from being too loud.

Mingi's response is only a chuckle which vibrates through your body as he indulges in the heat between your legs as he pleases.

Your skirt is hiked up to your waist and his hands are wrapped around your thighs to hold them spread out in their place as his mouth explores your cunt until tears are brimming the corners of your eyes.

It's slow and sensual and there's a strange level of intimacy to it that makes giddiness dance up and down your body as your hand reaches down and brushes through his hair.

It was only a couple of days ago that you were cursing Mingi out in your head and now his face was buried between your legs as he gave you what felt like the best head you've gotten in awhile.

Who would've thought.

"Oh, fuck..." You whimper out, still cautious about the volume of your voice despite Mingi's words of reassurance. 'They're all drunk and downstairs by now. You can be louder.'

But you can't bring yourself to completely rely on them so instead, you bite your bottom lip and try to muffle the moans as he suckles on your clit before dragging his hot tongue over it in a motion that makes your legs shake.

It's dizzying. And hot. You can't be bothered to think about anything outside of what was happening in the space of these four walls.

At a particular twirl of Mingi's tongue, your back arches and mouth drops open as another moan escapes and you think, yeah, you won't regret this at all.

"Fuck, you're hot." Mingi mutters against you before his tongue dips inside of you and is slowly dragged back to your clit and it makes your legs shake around his head, he notices and soothes his palm over your thigh.

"I'm gonna-...Gonna come if y-you don't stop..." You brokenly whisper out and Mingi glances up to you. Fuck, he looks good between your legs.

"That's the goal." He whispers and you only moan in response as brings his tongue down onto you again.

How is Song Mingi so good at eating pussy?!

You had almost hoped that he would suck, just so when it's all over you can go back to being mean to him. But you don't think that's going to be possible because, of course, he has to be a god between the sheets in every way imaginable. You can't remember when was the last time you felt this good.

San gave you everything and so much more but for a limited time period. The sex was mind-blowing but only for the first couple of weeks, after that it felt like the pussy magic wore off or something because he gave you mediocre orgasms with half-hearted oral- with the exception of the times he would fuck up and try to get in your good graces again.

But Mingi eats you out to the point where it seems like he's getting off to your moans and to your very taste.

He works his tongue and lips against you, trying to amplify your pleasure and make you feel as good as possible. It works, and you're sent flying into an earth-shattering orgasm that makes your toes curl and your back arc off of the bed as a high pitched moan leaves you.

It feels like liquid fire is eating you up from the inside out, and your orgasm lasts a lifetime. Mingi doesn't falter for one second, diligently dragging out your pleasure with his tongue, even as you quiver and thrash under his grip.

It takes another long moment for your orgasm to run its course, then you abruptly collapse onto the mattress with a deep groan, drenched in sweat and feeling utterly boneless. Only then does Mingi finally let up on his ministrations.

"Fuck, that was so hot." He mutters as he sloppily licks the come from his lips.

"You-..." Your words trail off as you try to catch your breath and wait for the rapid beating of your heart to slow down.

"-all red in the face. Are you feeling sick?" Your head snaps to Hongjoong, meeting his concerned gaze and it's only then that you feel the hotness of your cheeks.

"Huh?"

"What is going on with you today? You're redder than a fire hydrant." Hongjoong comments with a frown and your cool hands reach up to cover your flaming cheeks as you shake your head. You make the cardinal mistake of glancing in Mingi's direction, just to see his gaze trained on the laptop screen but his lips pulled in a small, annoying smirk.

"Nothing." You respond, fanning your face. "Just remembered something my professor told me, so now I'm stressed out over it."

"Seriously, you need to quit worrying." Hongjoong, the ever so sweet and kind friend, continues and you don't have the heart to stop him. Especially, when he's blowing compliments up your ass. "You're too good of an artist, you won't even need all the theory behind it. I, on the other hand, should go to the third floor and cry my eyes out before this study group today."

"Joong, stop." You whine softly and don't notice the way his eyes soften at the use of the nickname. "Let's not talk about school stuff for the day."

"I agree!" He quips, "Let's talk about last Saturday!"

You stiffen at that, casting a glance towards Mingi who doesn't take his gaze away from his laptop and pretends like neither you nor Hongjoong are speaking. Did Mingi tell Hongjoong what happened? You both specifically agreed to not tell anyone-

"What about last Saturday?" You carefully ask, straightening out in your seat. A habit of yours when you're feeling nervous.

"I must've passed out in the pantry under the staircase the moment the hide and seek game began. Minho made those sangrias way too strong." Hongjoong laughs without a care in the world but from the corner of your eye, you see Mingi glance at him with a guarded expression, "Did you enjoy the party? I hope my friends weren't too much, they can be annoying when they get drunk."

Oh, you enjoyed the party alright.

"Says you." Mingi snorts, lips curled up but not taking his attention away from his work. "You were drunk before she even got there."

Warmth pools in your belly again.

"It was awhile since we had a hang-out. I needed to blow off some steam!" Hongjoong defends himself and both you and Mingi chuckle.

"I had fun." You say with a small smile, trying to seem relaxed as possible.

Your eyes dart towards Mingi for a split second and a shiver runs up your spine when you find him already looking at you. His eyes aren't as hollow as they usually are when he speaks to you, they have a glint of playfulness now. Hongjoong clears his throat and your eyes snap towards him immediately.

"Did I do anything stupid? I can't remember shit!"

"You didn't do anything stupid, Joong." It's Mingi who reassures him, probably because he noticed you were sweating bullets.

You were usually an expert of a liar, but recently, it's almost as if you were trying to be a good and honest person or something so it was getting a little bit too difficult to spew lies from the top of your head.

So here you were, blushing and sweating over a measly lie, like an amateur. How humiliating.

"Oh, good." Hongjoong nods before opening his mouth again, "So when did the party end?"

"At midnight."

"Around three."

You and Mingi lock eyes across the table as a moment of silence ensues. You almost glare at him.

"I mean, I went home around midnight because I told my parents I wouldn't be home late. We had a brunch scheduled for the next day and I couldn’t show up looking hungover." You quickly fix your previous answer and hope the mention of the brunch would steer him in a different direction so you could stop talking about the party.

Hongjoong cocks his head to the side in thought, his books long forgotten by his side.

"Really? I swear the sound of a car going down the driveway woke me up for a second and that was at like...almost dawn. I thought it was yours since you're the only one who drove." He says and your mouth runs dry as you gulp. Mingi shuffles in his seat.

"It must've been a dream. You were pretty drunk and I left hours before dawn." You let out an awkward giggle and Hongjoong doesn't seem to buy it because even Mingi is starting to get a little restless in the seat next to him.

He glances between the two of you.

"Nothing weird happened, right?" Hongjoong questions warily to the both of you.

Your eyes lock with Mingi's.

The thing that surprises you the most with Song Mingi is that you didn't expect the sex to be like this.

And yeah, Mingi is a decent guy from what you've gathered but that doesn't really mean that he's good in bed. He's still a college boy.

You expected him to be quick with it. You expected it to be rushed and clumsy, dirty and empty.

But as always, Song Mingi has a tendency to prove you wrong.

"Oh." You sigh out as his lips cascade down the skin of your neck while his hands fiddle with the clasp of your bra. His naked torso is flush against yours as his fingers brush your back and it all makes you feel warm and so safe that you could melt.

The moment the clasp comes undone, the flimsy piece of fabric is thrown to the floor.

You don't waste any time, you sit up and your hands immediately reaching for the button of his dark jeans. Mingi's lips brush against your temple, one hand still around your body as he reaches to the nightstand for a condom.

"Give me." You whisper, taking the foil from him and ripping it with your teeth while he rids himself of his jeans and underwear.

God, he's so fucking thick. You don't even hide the fact that you eye him up and you swear, you see a faint blush coat his cheeks.

Mingi hisses a little bit as you roll the condom onto him and you mindlessly kiss up his chest while you make sure it's placed properly.

"Lay back." He whispers against your lips, nose brushing yours and you lower yourself back to his sheets and spread your legs apart. Your skirt is still on but he doesn't seem to mind, in fact you think he likes it a little too much.

Now, you expected him to just ram into you a couple of times until he comes with absolutely no rhythm to it whatsoever- you expect that from all college boys.

San excluded because San is San. His expertise is fucking.

Mingi is an IT major that's in love with his best friend, excuse you for not expecting much from him.

But no, Mingi is smooth with it.

Dragging his hands up the back of your thighs before placing them over his own thick thighs and then easing himself into you with a sigh that makes you throw your head back as he stretches you out. There's a pleasant burn that makes you let out a soft moan and you allow your arms to fall above your head as you grip the pillow situated under your head.

"Fuck." He bites his lip, one hand resting on your hip as the other grips the belt of your skirt tightly and uses it to guide you onto his dick.

"That's so good." You murmur brokenly, jaw dropping a little as he brushes against your sensitive spot and a hitched moan leaves you.

"There?" Mingi mutters and you can only nod in response, pulling him by the nape of his neck down to you and pressing his lips to yours.

You whine while his tongue brushes yours and his hips start to pick up speed until he's grasping you tightly as your hips meet.

The room is filled with muffled groans and moans, lewd noises from bodies being connected together and the occasional creak of his bed.

Mingi pants against your neck, one hand absentmindedly cupping your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek as you arch against him in pure bliss. You stopped caring about how loud you were halfway through and let the moans fall unabashedly as he fucked you like there was no tomorrow.

At a particularly hard thrust, you clench around him without even meaning to and he groans lowly, giving you a slight albeit playful glare.

"Y/N," He pants, "Don't do that."

You grin because you somehow live to piss him off and repeat the action, only this time it's with full intent. Mingi let's out a choked groan again, the hand that was on your cheek reaching back to grab at your hair.

"Always such a brat." He mutters, snapping his hips against yours and it makes you moan, eyes fluttering shut. "Can you be a good girl for me?"

And somehow, the question makes you melt. It makes you melt so much that you almost sink into the mattress below you, feeling like everything is about to swallow you whole and of course, none of that goes unnoticed by Mingi.

"Oh?" He whispers, lips fluttering over your jawline and your eyes are closed but you can feel him smile against your skin. "You like that?"

"S-shut up." You stutter out, nails digging into his skin at the fluid movements of his hips against yours. Mingi only hums against you, still placing butterfly kisses over your skin.

"You like being called a good girl, huh?" And he's just fucking with you now, you know that. But his words and the playfulness he delivers them with as he continues to kiss up the side of your neck makes you a gooey puddle in his arms. You can only moan and whine in response.

"Faster. Pl-please." You whine as your legs go high up his waist and he quickly listens to your pleads, picking up pace as he observes your face with his lips parted and heavy breaths.

"Like this?" He pants, the smacks echo through his bedroom and you moan loudly, toes curling.

"Yes! Yes, don't s-stop!" You almost sob as you pull him closer to you.

Your orgasm is close. The build up is there and you're about to burst at any given moment as Mingi continues with his tempo, brushing against your sensitive spot as his face falls in the crook of your neck.

You moans get higher with each thrust as you grow closer and closer to your release and Mingi's own groans are muffled but they're there.

"You gonna come for me?" He asks with a hoarse voice against your skin and you moan loudly in response.

The build up drags on and it snaps inside of you like a rubber band and you're tumbling off of the cliff into complete and utter bliss as you arch your back with the loudest moan yet leaving your open lips, toes curling and orgasm washing over you until you're shaking in Mingi's arms.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ, Y/N." He grunts out as the pace of his hips grows erratic and you whine in sensitivity.

It takes him a couple more thrusts before he's filling up the condom with a low moan, fingers gripping tightly at your hips as his own stutter against you while he rides out his high and you both fall to the sheets, utterly exhausted.

"We should, uh," He stutters out, breath raggedy, "continue having those lessons."

"No."

"Nope."

Hongjoong's head keeps going back and forth as he stares at you both suspiciously before rolling his eyes.

"Fine. I'll say I believe you even though I know what my eyes saw which was you two being weird as fuck right now." He dramatically points to both of you and you only give a half hearted shake of your head in response.

"Nothing weird happened. The party was fun, thanks for inviting me." You say with a small but sincere smile and Hongjoong groans, turning to Mingi who looks at him in question with brows raised.

"See, that's how she gets you." He complains like you're not sitting right in front of him, your jaw drops a little. "Can't even be a bitch to her when she acts sweet."

You roll your eyes and Mingi gives him a small laugh.

"I'm going to the bathroom and then we can go get that coffee, Y/N." He looks between you and Mingi again with a joking glare, "Not like you two are doing anything productive, Mingi has been scrolling through his assignment sheets for the past five minutes."

Mingi turns to tell him off but Hongjoong is already out of his seat and walking away.

You massage your lips together to keep the smile from forming until Mingi's eyes set on you once you're all alone.

"You have nothing to laugh about." He scolds quietly, blush overtaking his cheeks. "You know for someone who was very strict on keeping this between us, you are extremely bad at hiding it."

"Hey!" You whine, pout etching on your lips, "I got nervous."

Mingi hums in response, tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he stares at you.

"You could've just stayed the night." Mingi says as he shudders in the cold, the hoodie he threw on himself before leaving his room doing very little at protecting him from the winter air.

"So Hongjoong can find me naked in his best friend's bed in the morning." You scoff with a small grin as you lean against your car, "No way."

"Well, I mean, you wouldn't have to be naked." Mingi shrugs with a small grin and you roll your eyes, pushing at his chest a little but it doesn't stop him from wrapping his arms around your waist.

It was weird. All the tension between Mingi and you seemed to have dissipated just by having sex with him. At least you think it did, it might just be the post-sex daze that both of you were still in. It was probably that because why in the hell would the two of you be this touchy otherwise?

"I have a thing with my family in the morning so I have to be up early." You explain quietly, you don't know why but the thought of him wanting you to stay made you feel all soft and mushy inside so you felt the need to elaborate why you were leaving.

You didn't owe Song Mingi anything after having sex once but it was a nice change that he wanted you to stay.

He nods and then his face turns serious, a little bit shy and...nervous.

"Hey, so, uh..." He starts and you cock your head to the side, eyes glossing over his face in curiosity. "About what I said the other day. About the math thing."

Your face immediately falls at that before you can even hide it. Mingi's hands tighten around your waist.

"I'm sorry." He blurts out and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. "I googled it after you left. You have a fucking Wikipedia page, Y/N."

He chuckles in what looks like disbelief at the fact that, yes, you do have a Wikipedia page, shaking his head a little, "I'm sorry for saying all of that. I was being an asshole. And...it's an amazing accomplishment."

"It's fine." You chuckle awkwardly, not expecting the apology whatsoever since you were mostly used to it by now.

"Still..."

"It's fine." You say a bit firmer the second time, a smile settling on your lips.

You both stare at each other, smiles slowly slipping and your fingers tighten around the soft material of his hoodie before you pull him towards you again, slotting his lips against yours.

Mingi grunts, cold hand reaching up and cupping the back of your neck as he presses you against the car door. His tongue swipes over your bottom lip and you part your lips so you can taste him, hands getting lost in his messy hair as you moan against him a little.

"My car has a really spacious back seat." You breathe out once your lips part.

"Fuck off." He laughs, squeezing at your waist. He heaves a sigh before a curse leaves his lips and he smashes his mouth against yours again.

It's hot and wanton but you can't get enough of each other and he has to push you away as he takes a step back because otherwise- you really would've ended up in the backseat of your car.

"We can't tell anyone about this." You whisper against his lips, moaning as he kisses you again, hand travelling to your backside.

"That's probably a good idea." He agrees.

The staring contest is cut off by Hongjoong's return from the bathroom.

"Y/n, come on, let's go." He says pulling his jacket on and packs his stuff. "I'm craving a bitter coffee and a muffin."

"I'll be ready in, like, a minute." You respond, quickly starting to pack your staff as he says he'll wait for you outside.

You slowly pull on your coat, watching Hongjoong leave through the door before turning to Mingi.

"Come to my place tomorrow." You say quietly with a coy smile before getting up and leaving, giving him no chance to respond.

You'll be honest right now. When it comes to Song Mingi, you sincerely have no idea what the fuck you are doing. Let alone why you want to do it again.

But you do. You want a repeat of last Saturday so bad to the point that you sit daydreaming about it during a particularly boring class until your underwear is soaked that it's borderline embarrassing.

You think of his big hands, fingers adorned by silver rings, on your naked skin. You think of his lips on yours. You think of the way his hair feels brushing against your thigh. You think of him buried deep inside of you. You think of his deep voice muttering in your ear. You think of him.

Song Mingi has you dickmatized.

That's why when he comes over the next day, you almost jump on him at your front door.

"Wow, your house is- oof!" Mingi's words are cut off as you pull him inside by the collar of his jacket and slam the door shut behind him before pressing his body into the wall with all the weight of your body and pressing your lips against his in a feverish kiss that makes you whine because you had no idea that you needed to kiss him this badly.

"Wow." He mumbles before quickly kissing you again, hands groping your ass through your sweatpants as yours roam over his firm chest.

"Let's go." You pant, pulling on his hand to lead him up the stairs.

"Aren't your parents home?" He asks with comically wide eyes as he follows after you and you shake your head.

"They're in Japan with my brother for the weekend. I sent the staff home as well."

"Where are we going?" Mingi questions, ogling the paintings hung up on the stairwell wall.

"To my bedroom." You slow down once you notice him staring at the paintings, "I'll give you a tour later, come on!"

You stumble into your bedroom and you quickly throw yourself on him, lips glued together as you lead him to the bed and drag him on top of you. You enjoy feeling the weight of his body on you a little bit too much.

"Y/N, slow down." Mingi laughs against your lips but kisses you nonetheless and you whine again, hips already working against his.

"I can't." You whine pathetically, kissing him messily as your nails scratch against the fabric of his sweatshirt on his back.

"Okay, okay." He whispers comfortingly with a small smile and you don't even care about your red cheeks because he kisses you again and reaches down with one hand between your bodies to undo the button of his jeans.

And honest-to-God, you think the second time he fucks you is even better than the first time. Maybe it was because you spent the majority of the week imagining it but he just knows where to touch, knows how to get you going and what words to say to have you crying out underneath him.

"Such a good girl for me."

Yeah, that ones a favorite.

But then, after you both come, something weird happens.

Weird as in Mingi doesn't pull his clothes on and scramble for the door at the first opportunity. In fact, you two almost cuddle. But not really, because you're not that comfortable with each other just yet. But you do kiss though and lay next to each other on your bed, naked skin touching, as you mumble around stupid things.

It's nice though. You don't get it. Why does everything with Song Mingi seem so romantic?

It's probably because you're so touch starved that the slightest hint of affection turns you soft and putty at the palm of his hand.

Once you get up to pull your sweater back on since you were starting to get a little bit chilly, Mingi speaks.

"Oh...should I...go?" You turn to him, face scrunched up and with a feeling of an even bigger cold washing over you at the thought of him leaving.

"No." You quickly respond before grimacing, "I mean, if you want to. I'm not holding you hostage or anything but...I'd like for you to...I mean, we can have dinner or something."

Mingi seems in thought for a second, brows pinched in a way that almost makes him seem...cute? He nods, a second later.

"Okay. That sounds cool."

"Cool. Do you want something to drink? I was going to make myself some tea." You explain, pulling your sweatpants up your legs as you do.

"Tea sounds good."

"Okay." You chuckle at how awkward he sounds before leaving for downstairs.

You try to collect yourself once you reach downstairs, trying not to allow yourself to get too soft with Mingi because you genuinely don't know what the two of you are doing right now?

You're not dating.

But you're having sex. Will the sex be a regular thing? You sure hope so.

Are you in another friends with benefits situation?

Were you even friends with Mingi?

The answer is that you don't know and you're too scared to ask.

You have a nasty habit of always diving into things head first with very little thinking just like you did with San, art school and cocaine. All those things ended with hurt, tears and hate- so really, what's one more thing on that list.

You want Song Mingi, so you'll have him until either one of you decides to hurt each other, resulting in a tragic end and then, you'll just move on.

You climb up the stairs and walk into your bedroom, carrying a tray with two steaming mugs of tea on it. Mingi is standing by your work desk.

He's dressed back in his clothes and the bed is made.

He's also staring at your infamous notebook where you keep your drawings.

"Oh, that's-" You start and he turns at the sound of your voice, notebook still in his hand.

"These are really cool." Mingi says with a small smile, you flush once you catch a hint of awe in his voice.

You clear your throat, walking over to him and placing the tray on your desk.

"That's just something I do for fun." You ramble nervously, "It's not my actual work. Those are my-" You point to the canvases stacked up in the corner of your room, "-actual works. Those drawings are kinda stupid-"

"I like them." He interrupts, not taking his eyes away from the colorful pages and you flush an even deeper red.

"Oh...thanks." You mutter before clearing your throat awkwardly, "Here's your tea."

Mingi murmurs a soft 'thanks' as he sits back on your bed with the notebook still in hand and you sigh, feeling a slight shiver.

"Oh, shit. I should turn on the heater." And you walk to your closet and start pulling out your space heater from it. Which catches Mingi's attention.

He looks at you like you're crazy. "You use...that?"

And you guess you could understand, the heater is an old model and definitely looks untrustworthy but it does it's job.

"Yeah." You say as you roll it to the corner of your room and plug it in, adjusting the settings.

"You have a thermostat in your room." Mingi says dryly, pointing to the small white box right by your door. "It's literally right there."

"I don't use that when I'm alone." You shake your head and let out a small, satisfied sigh once the heater starts working.

"Why?"

"I don't like messing with all the buttons and shit. I might burn the house down."

"You do know that thing is, like, fifty times more dangerous, right?" Mingi asks, looking confused.

"I..." You look up, "Don't care. Technology scares me, I like using this when I'm alone otherwise Seonghwa or Mrs. Choi has to come and adjust the thermostat."

When you walk over to grab your mug of tea, you catch Mingi looking at you, extremely amused.

"What?" You ask defensively, leaning against your desk with the mug in hand.

"Nothing." He shakes his head, letting out a chuckle, "You just seem very...human and normal right now."

"Human and normal?" You scrunch your face up, voice going higher in pitch.

Suddenly, you remember you're not wearing any make-up and on instinct, your hand flies to your face to try and cover up as you completely forget that Mingi has been here for the past hour. He has seen you without make-up, he has fucked you without make-up.

"I mean in a good way." He sings, thinking you got insulted ( and maybe you did...a little). "It's nice."

"I'm always like this." You argue back with a huff.

"Eh, not really." Mingi comments, blowing into his mug to cool it down. Your jaw drops a little as he just innocently takes a sip, not even looking at you.

"What do you mean?!" You demand for him to explain. He stops to think for a second, eyeing you up and down.

"Okay, well. First of all, you're very hot-" He began.

"Oh." You giggle like a fucking school girl, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and feeling your ego burst through the roof (not that it needed to go any higher).

Mingi groans.

"See, here you go." He complains, throwing his hand in the air but still not being able to hold the smirk off of his face.

"What? I didn't say anything!" You defend yourself but a laugh escapes you, knowing very well what he meant.

"Be serious." He scolds, "You know you're gorgeous, okay? Get over yourself."

"Okay, okay." You nod, fighting back a smile as another blush climbs your cheeks.

"What I mean is, that you seem perfect. Your outfits and your hair and make-up, your car. Like, the first time I saw you, your notebooks matched your fuckin' outfit. Your...your binders were all color coordinated, they match your laptop and your pencil case and your pens. Even your earphones. It's crazy." He lists off with an exasperated expression on his face, "No college student should be that organized. And you...you can be really fuckin' mean as well. You're a lot scarier than you think, you know?"

You snort. "I'm really not."

"Well, now you're not. You're scared of a fucking thermostat." He grumbles, blowing on his tea again.

"Ugh, whatever." You brush it off, not wanting to think about his words. "Do you want to eat right now or later?"

Mingi slows down the action of placing the mug on your nightstand.

"Uh, I'm not really hungry right now." He responds and his eyes do that thing where they grow a bit wider and make him look impossibly soft that it makes you want to throw up.

"Okay, later then." You nod, then look around your room, not really knowing what the two of you should do right now.

"You wanna work on my Computer Science assignment?" You ask lamely and Mingi chortles.

"Sure."

That's how both of you find yourselves laying on your bed. You're on your stomach with your laptop propped up in front of you as Mingi is laying next to you, flipping through the pages of your notebook.

It's...nice. Really nice.

He helps you when you need help and then returns to analyzing your drawings and you don't even feel uncomfortable that he's looking at them anymore since he seems to like them so much.

But him just being there makes you feel lighter. Usually, when your parents and brother would leave for work trips...your father and brother's work trip- your mother just goes with them to flaunt around Tokyo, you would grow sad because you're all alone far too much. Now, Mingi is here and he makes you feel warm.

"Ouch." He comments and you glance at what he's looking at in your notebook. It's Miss Prudy.

You guess that the comment was about the needle going through her heart.

"Oh, that's Miss Prudy." You say absentmindedly, typing away on your laptop.

"She has a name?!" Mingi asked incredulously.

"Of course, they all do."

"What?! No way!" He gasps and you laugh a little at his open mouth as he stares at the drawing. "What does she do?"

"Stops me from being a slut."

His head whips towards you but you don't even skip a beat, just continue copying the commands.

"What do you mean?" Mingi croaks out and you snort as his ears turn red before dropping the pencil in your hand and looking at the drawing of Miss Prudy a little bit closer.

"Well, I drew her when I did something...bad." Fucked your cousin's boyfriend but Mingi doesn't need to know that. "And I guess...I remember her when I'm about to get tangled up with the next wrong guy."

"Wrong guy?" He asks with his brows furrowed in confusion.

"Yeah, she doesn't like any of them." You pursue her lips, staring at the hem of her long skirt.

"What...w-what about me?"

"What about you?"

"Does she like me?" Mingi questions and your eyes travel from the page towards his wide eyes. You held back a smirk.

Did Miss Prudy like Mingi?

Of course I bloody don't, you idiot! He's in love with the girl you absolutely humiliated in front of an entire cafeteria and you're sleeping with him right now. You come-guzzling, shameless who-

"No." You respond honestly and Mingi almost seems offended that a fictional character that resides in your head doesn't like him.

"Okay, well..." He hurriedly flips through the page and you sigh, pressing 'save' on your document and lowering your laptop to the floor before getting comfortable on the bed next to him since you have a feeling that he'll want to know about every single drawing. "What about this one?"

It's the drawing of the girls with mechanisms for eyes and bent out of shape nails for a smile. You swallow dryly.

"She doesn't have a name. But she lives in mirrors." You say quietly, grabbing a cushion and placing it in your lap. "She lives off of compliments and everyone else's opinions of her. I need to get her a name."

Mingi is quiet for a second, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. "This ones my favorite."

You smile shallowly at him but he's already looking away, flipping through the notebook.

"But...does every drawing have a story? Like, you don't draw them just for the sake of drawing them?" His curiosity is evident and it's partly endearing but partly overbearing.

"Uh, it's hard to explain..." You rub your eye tiredly, wondering how you're supposed to explain what goes on in your head to him. "It's characters that I...Sometimes I feel like there's a TV show happening but inside of my head, right?" He nods, "And those are the characters in the show, the scenery that surrounds them and stuff...I don't know."

Mingi hums in understanding and you're thankful that he's not calling you crazy. He's not trying to crack dumbass jokes about you needing a therapist because honestly, you've heard it all before and you wouldn't be hurt or anything. If he does think that, he doesn't show it.

Who knows, maybe he'll have lunch with Boyoung tomorrow and tell her all about how fucking insane you are.

But in this moment, with you, he seems accepting and even more intrigued.

"This one?" You glance at the paper.

The drawing of the man with sky blue hair that reaches his shoulders and mustache to match greets you. It's just a drawing of his face but you know that he's dressed like he lived in the 70s with a colorful button up shirt and patterned flare pants.

He has stars shimmering in his blue hair and Jupiter tucked between a couple of strands. His eyelashes are covered in stardust and his lips could numb you.

"Jesus Christ of Wonderland." Mingi reads your messy handwriting in the corner of the paper.

"I should change his name." You cringe with a small giggle. "I drew him a long time ago."

"So what's his story?"

"He gives people bliss for a dangerous price. Like, he makes them feel really good, head empty, thoughts washed away and instead, can make them feel like they're floating and invincible but only temporarily and then in return; he brings sadness, anger, disappointment, fear...lots of other bad things- to the people they love most."

Mingi frowns at that.

"Would anyone really accept anything from him when it's like that?" He cocks his head to the side, lips folded in a confused pout.

You shrug, still staring at the drawing. "Depends on how bad they wanna forget."

Without another word, Mingi starts flipping through the notebook again and you lean your head against the pillow watching the familiar pages that got filled up over the time. You forgot half of the drawings by now.

"Oh, this one." He stops across a drawing that goes across both pages. "It's incredible but...I don't get it."

"She dies." You point to the small figure of a girl who's face is unrecognizable.

The sky is yellow and has clouds in the shape of goldfishes. The trees are alive, there is life pulsating through their bark and the lake is green and blooming with daisies that tempt you to swim through them. The sun is breathing in a pretty shade of purple and on top of a hot pink hill there is a house filled with people.

"The hurricane kills her?" Mingi asks, pointing to the hurricane in the corner of the paper. You nod.

"Yeah."

"What about them?" He points to the house filled with people who cheer as the girl stands alone just a few feet in front of the daisy lake. "Does it kill them as well?"

"Of course not." You frown, defensively, "They're way too important."

Mingi's fingers slip from the paper as he turns to you with an unreadable expression. He looks a little sad.

"The girl isn't important?"

"It's just a drawing, Mingi." You chuckle, hugging the pillow closer to your chest.

"I didn't say anything." Mingi counters slowly and you roll your eyes and take it upon yourself to flip the page.

He moves your fingers away from the paper and starts moving the pages by himself until he stops at one. One from about half a year ago.

"What's this one?" Mingi asks quietly and your pillow slowly slips from your grasp as you stare at it.

It's a drawing of a boy with a carefree smile that skips from one orange hill to the other. Always so close yet so far because the moment you're an inch away from grasping his hand, he disappears with his soft laughs echoing around you and he materializes on the next hill in front of you.

And no matter how many times he disappears into thin air, you always run down the hill you're on and up the next one just in hopes that you'll get to hold his hand one day. Over and over again.

"That's San." You say quietly, sitting up and reaching for your laptop and notebooks that you left on the floor. Mingi is staring at you, you can feel it. He wants to ask what's the meaning of the drawing, you can feel that too.

"Unreachable." Is all you say as you open your laptop again.

Mingi gathers from your suddenly fallen mood that you don't want to talk about the notebook or the drawings anymore, so he carefully shuts it and places it on your nightstand before he takes your laptop from your lap.

"Let's do your assignment."

Days pass by, the weather grows even colder as you November reaches it's end and December kicks off and you and Mingi still continue seeing each other.

Even after your assignment is turned in and you pass the subject with a strong A, you continue to see each other for study sessions in the library. Hongjoong included, of course. It's the coolest study group ever, he says.

But he doesn't know that you and Mingi play footsie under the oak tables while he's busy flipping through his thick books. Hongjoong doesn't know that every weekend he goes home to visit his parents, Mingi sneaks you into his room and fucks you into the mattress until you're so loud that his other two roommates start complaining. Hongjoong definitely doesn't know that Mingi has seen the inside of your room more times just this month than anyone else outside your family members has in years.

You don't know what you're doing and sometimes you wonder if Mingi knows either.

You wonder if he ever thinks about Boyoung and the way she might feel about all of this. You wonder if he's still in love with her.

At certain times when he's with you- stripping you out of your clothes or just watching a movie on your laptop, you can hear his phone buzz but he just turns it off and you know it's her because you notice the guilt on his face.

The good side of you wants to break...whatever this is, off with him so you can relieve him of that guilt that you know he's carrying inside.

But the rotten part of you is selfish enough to indulge in the fact that he's choosing you over her, the rotten part of you wonders how far he will actually go before he either owns up to it and tells her or breaks it off with you completely.

For now though, having him to yourself is enough.

You moan as Mingi's lips move against yours lazily, both blissed out after the sex and bodies still tangled up with each other as you run a hand through his dark hair while his fingers brush your cheek.

The buzzing of your phone interrupts you and he groans as you move from under him and reach for the phone on your nightstand, reading the text message you got.

Wooyo: I'll be there in half an hour <3

"Fuck!" You hiss, pushing Mingi off of you completely and he falls to the other side of the bed with a surprised grunt as you jump up from the bed and run to pull your underwear back on.

You completely forgot that you told Wooyoung you would be meeting him for lunch today.

After your panties are pulled on, you rush to the bathroom to fix your make-up which smudged underneath your eyes.

"Do you have a boyfriend I should be aware of?" Mingi's voice calls out from your bed and you peek your head out of the bathroom to see your phone in his hand, he waves it in his hand with an awkward smile.

"Wooyoung says there's traffic." He reads off of the screen and you sigh in relief, knowing you would have more time to look put together.

"It's my friend!" You call loudly from the bathroom as you brush through your tangled hair, "I'm supposed to meet him for lunch today but obviously, I forgot."

"Oh." Is quietly heard.

You walk out of the bathroom and pull your bra on before going to stand with your back to Mingi's spot on the bed. "Can you please get the hooks?"

"Sure." He says, carefully pulling the clasps of the bra together. You turn to him.

"Do you wanna come to lunch?" You ask genuinely, "Wooyoung is cool, you'll get along with him."

"Uh, I don't know..." Mingi responds as he starts pulling his clothes back on. "I mean...I could eat."

"Great!" You happily exclaim, tugging your nylons on before pulling the same outfit you wore to classes today which was just a pretty, woolen high waisted midi pencil skirt and a sweater on top and your boots.

When Mingi is all dressed and looking at himself in your mirror, he turns to you again. "I don't think I should go."

"What? Why not?" You frown as you clasp your watch around your wrist.

"Do I look okay?" He asks with a small pout and you eye him up and down with a confused gaze. He's in a sweatshirt and jeans. And looks hot.

You like the way Mingi dresses. His hoodies and sweatshirts seem comfortable and soft, plus he always smells nice and it feels good when he has his arms wrapped around you.

"You look fine."

"Yeah but like...do I look fine as in good enough?" Mingi plays with your fingers and you stop what you were doing to look at him properly.

"Good enough?"

"Yeah, like, I don't wanna embarrass you or something." He mumbles and your face softens so quickly as warmth engulfs you inside out.

"Mingi, you could never embarrass me." And it's the honest-to-God truth, Mingi is handsome, smart and funny. He's a great guy. "And you look great, don't even worry about it." You assure him as honestly as possible. "You think Wooyoung is some rich prick or something?"

You mull over your own words.

"Well, he kind of is but the good kind of rich prick. Just trust me."

After a moment of what seems to be contemplating, Mingi nods and you give him a smile, pulling on your coat.

"You look nice." He compliments quietly, lips quirking up and you hate that your cheeks heat up a little.

"Thanks. Now let's go."

"How come your parents are never home?" Mingi asks as you both start descending down the stairs and you sigh.

"At the end of every year, they have to make sure everything is good in the japanese branch of the company, so my dad and brother are there up until almost Christmas- sometimes even then. Mom just likes going for the sake of going, I guess." You explain as you lock up the front door behind the both of you and you stand in your driveway, waiting for Wooyoung.

"That's kinda lonely, isn't it? For you, I mean." Mingi wonders and you smile before quickly recollecting yourself. Damn him for being so cute.

"It's okay, I'm used to it." You shrug, wrapping the coat tighter around yourself.

"Are you sure I look okay?" Mingi asks one last time and you groan, opening your mouth to scold him but you're cut off by the roar of an engine pulling up in your driveway. You turn to Mingi again.

"Seriously, you look hot and you're worrying too much! Wooyoung is about to step out of the car dressed like a middle schooler!"

"I hear you talking shit about me even from here, you know!" Wooyoung calls, head only poking outside the window of his car and you and Mingi both make your way over to him.

"Oh, and who are you?" Wooyoung asks, ever the charmer. Mingi opens his mouth.

"Can you be normal?" You scold him as you get in and Mingi gets in the back seat. "This is my friend Mingi, he helped me with my Computer Science assignment. I was telling you about it, remember?"

Wooyoung turns to eye Mingi up and down and Mingi, who is taller than Wooyoung by a whole head, looks ready to shit bricks for some reason.

"Oh and he was in your house with hair that suspiciously looks like sex hair and hickeys covering his neck, why?" Wooyoung lists without missing a beat and you take a deep breath, feeling your blood pressure rise immediately.

"Jesus Christ." You hear Mingi mutter from the backseat, fixing his hair the best he could and you almost feel bad for the poor guy.

"None of your business." You throw back at Wooyoung. "Can you drive? We're starving over here."

"Hey, I don't mean anything bad by it, Mingi." Wooyoung reassures, eyes connecting with Mingi's in the car mirror as he starts driving down the road. "If you're the reason she's been in a better mood these past couple of weeks then lunch is on me today. Thank you for giving her a couple of orgasms, Lord knows she needed them."

"Oh my God." You whisper out and you can faintly hear Mingi choke in the background, you turn to Wooyoung, "I'm going to kill you."

And there was Mingi, thinking he was going to embarrass you. Completely clueless that nothing can cause more embarrassment than Jung Wooyoung.

But the lunch ends up being fine. It's fun even.

Mingi slowly relaxes and warms up to Wooyoung because he's Wooyoung- he simply has that effect on people and his laughter and loud personality are infectious.

You enjoy the food, talk about classes, parties and whatnot. Wooyoung is carefully avoiding asking anything about your relationship with Mingi and you know why.

He plans on ambushing you when you're both alone.

"Mingi, you want me to drop you off somewhere?" Wooyoung asks as he starts driving out of the restaurants parking lot.

"That would be great actually. I live two blocks away from campus." Mingi explains and Wooyoung nods in response, adding the address to his GPS.

You're satisfied and happy, with a full belly and cool head, leaning back in your seat and completely tuning out their conversation.

Wooyoung drops Mingi off at his house and Mingi says goodbye with his pinky wrapping around yours briefly through the space between your seat and the car door.

"I like him." Wooyoung announces into the silence as he starts driving away from Mingi's house.

You only hum in response, not knowing what to say exactly.

"Are you dating him?"

"No." You chuckle as if the idea of you and Mingi dating was completely out of the question. "We're just...I don't even know. Having fun, I guess?"

"Ah," Wooyoung nods, before giving a half-hearted shrug, "Well, he's nice honestly."

"Yeah, he's cool." You agree.

Five days after that lunch, you see San in the library.

You come to pick up some books that Professor Ahn suggest you look through the last time you've seen her. You've been meeting her every two or so weeks and it's not anything special if you were honest, but it's nice to be able to talk about your art with someone.

You walk through the Art History section, skimming through the shelves filled with books when a figure sitting by one of the tables near the big windows catches your eye.

It's San. Always, the beautiful Choi San.

He's in a black sweater and his dark hair falls over his forehead, eyes fixated on the notes in front of him as he writes something down. He's studying.

You haven't seen him in awhile, weirdly you don't miss him when you don't see him. But in moments like these, you're reminded of what you once had and it leaves you feeling somewhat hollow.

He's still dating Boyoung, you know that much at least.

You jump a little when his eyes meet yours and you quickly take the book you came for before turning around and walking away.

It's embarrassing to be the one to care more.

As if that's not enough, on the same day, as you're walking out of the library and heading to your car- you spot Mingi and Boyoung.

They're walking together, laughing loudly with steaming drinks in their hands. You don't know if you're hurt but you're definitely not happy about it.

You don't care if she had Mingi first, you want him all to yourself now. She already has San.

Still, you're not crazy. No matter how intrusive your thoughts may be at times, you're not dating Mingi. Boyoung is his best friend and you need to be normal.

You are normal.

You might be a lot of things but you respect other people's friendships.

But...is it just a friendship to Mingi? Is it really? Or are the rumors true? About him being in love with her.

You already decided for yourself that they are because it's better to be let down in the beginning, then you can only go up from there.

Still, you knew how dramatic you could be and you were genuinely curious if the rumors were true. You try to read Mingi's body language, try to figure out if he looks at her in any way that might indicate he has feelings that go any deeper than true friendship but you can't tell.

You get in your car pretending you didn't see either of them and head to Professor Ahn's house.

When Mingi texts you that night, asking if you wanted to come over- you say you're busy.

The spunk only lasts for two days though because on the third one, you pick up Mingi from his house and fuck him in your car in an empty parking lot.

Mingi leaves for his hometown three days before Christmas, so does Hongjoong. You won't see them until almost the middle of January and it dampens your mood. Over time, they've became somewhat constants in your life and you enjoy spending time with them.

Still, you like Christmas.

Your family acts like a proper family for once.

You decorate the tree and the house together with the staff. You eat baked goodies that your mother would normally not even allow in the house. Even your father is home for once.

Your mother makes all of you wear ugly Christmas sweaters and you take photos in the big living room, so she can send them to her cousins and friends to brag about her perfect family and life.

Seonghwa stands next to you, hand placed over your shoulder and your parents sit down on the chairs in front of you two. The nicely decorated Christmas tree is in the background and you all shine bright smiles towards the camera as your mother instructs which pose you should do next.

Your phone buzzes.

Mingi: It's very....

Mingi: It's pretty!!!! Very red

You snort at his response to the mirror selfie you sent of your ugly sweater.

"Is San that funny?" Seonghwa mutters as you both stand against the wall as your mother arranges photos with the staff and you clench your jaw, glancing at him quickly.

"It's not San." You respond quietly, placing your phone in the back pocket of your skirt.

"Then who is it?"

This is what annoyed you most with Seonghwa.

He ignores you on most occasions, isn't very nice for a very long time now but he's still so fucking nosy and wants to know what's going on in your life.

Usually, you would be happy and gladly talk to him about Mingi, Hongjoong and just about anything really, despite the fact that he's an asshole towards you.

But these days, you're growing too tired of it. Too tired of running after him to make things right between the two of you despite how badly you want things to go back to how they once were.

The past is ruined. You can't go back to it, so was there really a point in trying anymore?

"None of your business." You mutter back, without looking at him and he scoffs in response before walking away to sit on the couch.

Then after you brush him off, of course you feel bad about it because you think that every chance he gives you to talk to him is a step closer to fixing things and yet, you've been stuck at the starting point for almost two years now. It's exhausting.

You don't let any of it ruin your mood. You always enjoyed Christmas ever since you were little, ugly sweaters and all.

Maybe you just wish you spent it with different people though. Because after the family photos and the big lunch your family throws every Christmas where you have to mingle with people you don't know very well- you all retrieve to your separate rooms and you're engulfed by loneliness once again.

Your New Year's kiss ends up being Wooyoung.

A sloppy, drunken kiss that ends with snorts and laughter because it happened solely for the reason that you both thought walking into the New Year without kissing someone is for losers.

It's a good party though, the usual rich kids shit but you have Wooyoung and you spend most of the night dancing around and getting drunk with him.

Neither of you care that everyone thinks you're dating.

Winter break is gloomy, cold and also, spent mostly with Wooyoung.

You don't know how neither one of you got bored from each other just yet. You're constantly at his apartment, eating food that Wooyoung sometimes cooks and sometimes you just order in. You watch those Hallmark Christmas movies that are definitely bad but still have something addicting to them.

You paint some more. One of your professors told you he sent your painting for one of the competitions being held in the spring. It's cool, you suppose.

You only visit Professor Ahn once, bearing a bottle of red wine as a Christmas gift. She's alone, all the time.

Mingi surprises you with a text one Wednesday afternoon.

Mingi: I came back earlier so I have the house to myself

Mingi: Come over

Mingi: And stay the night?

So you come up with an excuse that you'll be sleeping over at Wooyoung's place that night and of course, your mother is delighted. Everything goes as long as it's with Wooyoung.

"Hey." You greet once Mingi opens the door, dressed in a thick hoodie with the hood pulled over his head so his eyes are barely peeking from under it.

He gives you a toothy grin and something tingles inside of you.

"Hey, come in." He holds the door wider open as you step in and you take off your shoes before you both awkwardly stare at each other for a second.

You think if you should hug him. You want to because you missed him but you're not sure if Mingi wants to hug you or anything. Are you there in your relationship with him yet where you hug when you don't see each other for awhile?

Mingi lets out an awkward chuckle and you pull the sleeves of your thick sweater over your hands.

"Sorry, it's cold. I turned on the heating like an hour ago but it takes awhile since the place was empty for the month." He explains as you follow him to the kitchen.

There are plastic containers and tuperware on the counter that you look at with curiosity.

"What's all this?" You say, glancing at all the food. Mingi gives an embarrassed laugh, starting to place the containers in the fridge.

"It's food my mom sent me." He chuckles and you think it's endearing how his cheeks flush pink. "She sent too much."

"That's nice of her." You muse, watching him as he diligently places the food on the shelf in the fridge with a little sticker that says 'Mingi's food'. "You won't have to cook for awhile."

"Yeah, she's always worried that I'll starve or something." He chuckles, before turning to you to defend himself with his eyes endearingly widened, "I know how to cook! But I'm kind of lazy."

You giggle and nod in understanding, sitting by the counter and wait for him to be done with putting everything away.

Once the counter is cleared up, you both move to his bedroom with mugs of tea and snacks in your hands.

His room is a lot warmer than the rest of the house but you both still get underneath the sheets as he sets up his laptop for a movie.

Interstellar is one of Mingi's favorite movies, you've never seen it before until he suggested it one night after you had sex. It's a good movie, so you don't mind when he puts it on again.

"How was your break?" You ask as you try to get yourself comfortable against the headboard.

"It was fine. Hung out with my friends a little bit, saw my family and that's it really. Yours?" He turns to you, eyeing the way you squirm and shift the blanket around yourself.

"It was alright. Spent most of it with Wooyoung and painting." He nods at your response and suddenly pulls you into his side. Your lips part as he moves his arm around your smaller frame, so you're almost laying on his chest.

"You move too much." Is all he mumbles and you don't respond, thinking it's better to just focus on the movie.

Halfway through the movie though, his lips somehow end up on yours and the movie is long forgotten as he climbs on top of you and licks into your mouth while his hands drag your skirt down your legs.

"You need to wear thicker clothes." Mingi mumbles against your neck, "It's too cold for skirts."

"I go everywhere..." You pant as he suckles on your sweet spot, "with my c-car anyways."

"Still." He mutters, before crashing his lips into yours again and you moan.

Somewhere between deep groans and sighs, naked skin on skin, him thrusting into you and your broken cries, Mingi whispers; I missed you.

After that night, you're left confused.

You feel something for Song Mingi. But you just can't put a finger on what is it exactly nor will it ever lead somewhere.

You see him a couple of times a week and sometimes, you don't even have sex with him. Sometimes, it's just hanging out. Grabbing a cup of coffee or getting lunch together before class. You're confused.

It doesn't help that Wooyoung keeps mentioning him.

"What about Mingi?"

You turn to Wooyoung with your brows furrowed, mouth full of noodles as you ask carefully, "What about him?"

"Maybe you should try it with him." Wooyoung shrugs, popping a piece of chicken in his mouth.

You were on the topic of relationships as you both watched the newest episode of How To Get Away With Murder. And the discussion about guys suddenly led to Mingi being mentioned.

"I...I don't know." You mumble, tapping your manicured nails against the side of your bowl of food. "I mean...I like him. I wouldn't be having sex with him if I didn't like him."

"But?" Wooyoung drags on with curious eyes, waiting for you to elaborate.

"But I'm confused because...because it doesn't feel like it did with San." You admit, eyes casting downwards. Wooyoung looks at you, munching away.

"Of course, it doesn't, Y/N. Geez, you've been hooking up with San for a whole year and you were, like, obsessed with him!" He exclaims and you wince at the use of the word 'obsessed'. Wooyoung sighs loudly and you pout.

"Listen, Mingi and San are two different people."

"Yeah, but what if I'm not over San? Then what?" You ask, "Am I supposed to start something with Mingi even then?"

"Yes!" He says loudly and you roll your eyes. "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else! You've already done that and don't you feel better?"

You pursue your lips.

"See! All I'm saying is that you should just go with the flow." He continues, "Stop overthinking it. You like Mingi, you like spending time with him, no?"

You nod.

"Then ask him out on a date." Wooyoung suggests, "Just have fun. Not every relationship has to be something serious, you know? You can date for a couple of months and then, I don't know, if it's not working then it's not working!"

"What I'm saying is that you need to break out of this spunk you're in. I know you're a little hopeless romantic. You love that shit!" He accuses you with a finger pointed at you, "So ask him out, go do something cute together for fuck's sake!"

You think about it for a moment.

Maybe there is some truth in Wooyoung's words.

You've always been lead by your emotions and emotions...they're fickle little things. Unreliable and uncertain. They change like the weather and what you feel today, you might not feel tomorrow.

And a date does sound nice. You don't remember the last time you've ever been on one. It was before college definitely.

"You think Mingi would go on a date with me?" You in a small voice and Wooyoung turns his attention from the screen back to you, looking at you like you're stupid.

"Of course he would, what are you on?" He scoffs.

"But what about...what about Boyoung? She's his best friend."

He rolls his eyes at that.

"Mingi has been fucking you for over two months now. He crossed several lines already, I doubt a little date would do more damage than it's already been done." Wooyoung shakes his head, "Just think about it."

You nod in response, with a thoughtful expression as you both change the subject.

The new semester begins and your whatever-it-is with Song Mingi continues just like before, you don't bring up the date around him.

You grow even closer. You're friends now, you're sure of it. You text each other randomly, share stupid videos and funny photos.

You also have sex. And it's still amazing.

"I'm hungry." You grumble from Mingi's bed where you sat, propped up against his headboard with your notebook in your lap as you were drawing while he sat behind his desk, typing away on his laptop.

The hang-outs in his room when Hongjoong was out of the house became even more frequent. Especially since the first time you slept over.

Mingi looks up, his headphones falling around his neck as he gives you an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, I got carried away with this bullshit." He points to his assignment and you brush it off saying you didn't mind. "I don't think I have any food here but we could go down to the convenience store. It's just down the street."

"Okay." You nod, already moving to stand up from the bed.

Your trip to the convenience store feels like a trip to Ikea for an average adult. It's like Disneyland.

In reality, it's nothing special. Just a small store at the corner of the street with snacks, noodles and other unhealthy foods that most college students live off of.

Not you though. The last time you were in a convenience store was when you were on a field trip in middle school.

"Woah." You whisper with wide eyes that glaze over the variety of ramen, kimbaps, sandwiches and everything else.

You watch Mingi pick out two cups of ramen silently as you tuck your hands and your wallet in the pockets of your thick coat.

"What are you going to get?" You ask Mingi like a child, as you follow him around the store.

He turns to you, smile growing on his lips as if he was endeared or something.

"Ramen with sausages probably. You?"

You look around the shelves, cluelessly. "I don't know."

He hums in thought, lips pouting as he looks around the snacks as well. "Do you like corndogs?"

"I've never tried them." Your respond, staring at the deserts, unbeknown to Mingi's bewildered face.

"Never?!" He exclaims and you shake your head, cheeks heating up. It's not like you didn't want to but you had lunches prepared for you since you were in kindergarten and it's not like you need anything from convenience stores otherwise.

"Well, we need to get you the full college student experience then." Mingi nods and immediately starts throwing different snacks and foods into the basket on his arm and you just follow after him until the basket is full with a variety of foods.

"Oh, this!" You tug on his arm as you pull out two blueberry flavored jelly drinks from the freezer. Mingi chuckles and just nods for you to place it in the basket.

When you reach the register, you pull out your wallet to pay put Mingi gently pushes your hand away.

"I got it." He says, giving his credit card to the teenage girl working there.

"There's a lot of stuff here." You say pointing to the big bag filled with food and snacks. Mingi chuckles.

"Y/N, trust me. If there's anything I can afford, it's this. Don't worry about it." You open your mouth to argue but he just shushes you, reaching for the bag.

It's night time even though it's little past six p.m. and you can't wait for spring to come so the day can last longer. You both walk side by side up to his house, bumping against each other occasionally.

After Mingi prepares the food, which is really just microwaving it and pouring boiling water into the cups of ramen, you both sit side by side on the counter and start eating.

And you fear that you might grow addicted to convenience store food after that.

You make a soft exclamation sound as you bite into the corndog and see a string of cheese stretching. Mingi laughs as he watches you eat.

That's all you've been doing since you started eating, making sounds of satisfaction at each snack you tried.

"If I knew this would make you that happy, I would've taken you convenience store shopping a long time ago." Mingi chuckles, handing you a napkin. "I eat there all the time."

"The last time I've been in one was when I was in middle school maybe." You respond as you chew, eyes closed as the cheese melts on your tongue.

"You don't ever eat this at home? You know, a lazy meal or something?" He asks still in complete surprise.

"I eat raw vegetables and fruits for lazy meals." You respond, almost inhaling the ramen.

"Why?" He asks as if disgusted by the idea. You shrug.

"My mom is really strict. I've been on a diet since I was, like, fourteen." You say without much thought, not finding anything wrong with your words until you see that Mingi has stopped eating and is now looking at you.

You turn to him.

"Sorry, don't know why I said that." You chuckle humorlessly, feeling stupid for revealing something like that and possibly bringing the carefree mood down. You didn't say it for any pity points, either. "Just forget it."

"No, its..." Mingi starts but quickly drops it with a headshake. "You don't have to apologize."

"So..." You quickly change the subject and hop on something you've been meaning to ask him recently. "There's a rumor about you going around campus. About you and Boyoung."

You don't know where the boldness came from. You haven't uttered Boyoung's name around him ever since you started spending time together.

Mingi pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue before nodding.

"Yeah, I know the rumor." He chuckles, seemingly not bothered by the question or the mention of Boyoung so you relax a little bit but still not enough to not wait for his response with a bated breath. "It's not really a rumor per say."

You slow down your chewing on the piece of kimbap you just popped in your mouth.

"We've known each other since we were kids, grew up in the same town and stuff. I confessed to her in our senior year of high school and she said she didn't feel the same way." He shrugs as if it isn't a big deal and you chew with your brows furrowed. "I got over it, honestly. Haven't felt that way about her for a long time."

"Oh." You muse out, not know with what you're supposed to respond with as you reel the new information in.

"Yeah." Mingi chuckles awkwardly, slurping more noodles in his mouth.

"And you just gave up? Just like that?" You ask curiously and he gives you a strange but amused look.

"What else was I supposed to do?" He asks as he swallows his food. "I can't force her to feel something she doesn't."

"Dunno..." You think, "I wouldn't give up that easily."

"Well, I know you wouldn't. You're used to getting things your way, aren't you?" Mingi chuckles before shaking my head. "Nah, I'm pretty content with giving up."

"Well, if you're sure." You shrug but you would be lying if you said you didn't feel a huge amount of relief curse through you at his words. He doesn't have feelings for Boyoung.

After you're done with your food, Mingi stands up to clear out the counter.

"The best thing about having convenience store food for dinner is that..." He starts, as he pushes all the wrappers and paper cups into a plastic bag with one swipe, "-everything goes to the trashcan and there are no dirty dishes afterwards."

You laugh as you stand up, grabbing your jelly drink and opening it to taste it and handing Mingi his own before you make it up to his room.

His room is completely dark when you walk in, only faintly illuminated by the lights coming from the screen of his laptop and the street lamps coming from the window.

"Hey." He whispers, big hand wrapping around your wrist as he turns you towards him after he shut the door. You look at him in confusion as he takes the opened jelly drink away, placing it along with his on the desk before his hands rest on your cheeks.

He kisses you softly, sweetly. You let out a little sound of surprise before kissing back, letting his tongue lick past your lips. He tastes like artificial blueberries.

Slowly, he guides you towards his bed where you fall and he climbs on top of you as he deepens the kiss.

You moan, running your hand through his dark locks before pulling on the ends as he pulls you up to the center of the bed and settles between your legs.

The sex that night is different. You don't know why or what prompts it but it just is.

It's softer, slower but still passionate and you feel like your body is melting between his sheets as he rolls his hips into yours in a torturous pace.

"What are you doing to me?" Mingi whispers against your neck as you moan at the way he thrusts into you that it has you seeing stars, "Why are you so good to me, huh?"

You don't even register the words he says because you're too lost in the pleasure and just...him.

When you both come, you lay under his sheets with tangled limbs and sip on the blueberry jelly drinks as you whisper to each other about nothings and everythings.

You decide to ask Song Mingi out on a date.

That night as you stare at the ceiling of Mingi's bedroom, your eyes trace the shapes of a boy and a girl coasting through the purple clouds of Wonderland on a Persian rug, admiring the colorful scenery of the green daisy lake and pink mountains. The stars wave as the boy and the girl fly past them.

The stars know that one of them cares too much and the other gives up too easily.

#san x reader #mingi x reader #ateez angst #ateez x reader

304 notes · View notes

ariesbilly · 2 years

Note

The Duffers give off the vibe that they’ve never been to a high school before. Like granted, I was homeschooled through high school, but I went to homeschool co-ops (basically a bunch of parents would teach certain classes), and yeah we had cliques, but the “king and queen of Hawkins high” feels like something straight out of a Disney movie.

Also like, none of their “popular” teens act like they’re popular? Like Steve is supposed to be the King, and to me that would imply he’s constantly out throwing parties and getting into trouble and breaking hearts. But the one time we see him as king, he just,,, has three friends over and they do dumb teen stuff? He gets really emotionally wrapped up in his girlfriend?

And don’t get me started on Billy. His popularity would have lasted maybe a month. Yeah, he’s the new guy from California and he’s gorgeous, but the novelty would have worn off after a month. Billy’s from a lower-income family, based on their house. He’s a metalhead. He pushes the envelope a lot for a small, likely conservative town like Hawkins.

I’m from a huge ass city and went to a big ass high school so admittedly I do not know how things work in small towns/schools. Like when it came time to vote for prom king and queen I literally knew not a single name on the ballet 😂 the only popular kids I knew where the ones I had shared classes with for years. The other popular kids? Never heard of them.

But also like…the few jocks and shit I did know we’re chill? They were the class clowns and everyone actually liked them. And like I knew cheerleaders in drama club there was a lot of intermingling going on.

I get that a conservative town in the 80s would be a whole different vibe but like you said, steve at his height of popularity has like 3 friends? Lmfao I think he made reference to throwing parties before but his dad got pissed right? So maybe that explains why he stopped throwing crazy ones.

Billy in that environment absolutely would not have lasted as popular nor can I imagine HIM being the one all these conservative ass moms flock to like realistically the satanic panic should’ve started with him lmao I don’t think the duffers fully realized how offensive metal music is to that crowd I mean hell I went through my whole emo phase in the mid 00s and my grandma was constantly going on about me being “goth” and worshipping the devil. The duffers just wanted to focus on dacre being hot and expected us to ignore ever other detail about billys personality because if you think about it for even one second shit quickly starts not adding up

And this is not even touching upon how realistically HE would’ve been most likely hate crimed by some neil-like figure around town dressing and primping himself the way he does (I mean billys normal everyday attire is pretty basic but I can imagine him standing in the beauty aisle of Melvads and some guy making a slick comment)

But anyway… we’re not meant to think too deeply about any of this because stranger things is a very surface level show so

#briana answers things

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teachandwrite-blog · 2 years

Text

A Day In the LIfe of an Indie Writer 🙂

Inquiries, Inquiries, Inquiries

Hi Friends. I recently had an op-ed piece about my love for public schools published in the P and C, but I wanted to send you a classroom story about immigration and how immigrant kids are seen through the eyes and hearts of their teachers in case you’d like to use it in the future.

Each school year I write small stories that I call Notes from Public School. By the end of the year, I have 180 of these small stories about my classroom, school, students and families in my inner-city school. Here is an example of some of the stories from this year in a blog I created (http://inourheartswewonthemall.blogspot.com/)

If you’d ever like a perspective of a 15 year veteran 4th grade teacher in a Title 1 school that serves mostly black and brown families (and who loves them deeply and dearly) just let me know. Many heartbreaking and heart mending things happen in my classroom every day and I try diligently to look closely and listen carefully and write the stories down so I can share them with my community, state and world.

Thank you for your great work at P and C. One of my heroes is Jennifer Berryy Hawes. I went to hear her share and sign her book Grace Will Lead Us Hime at MC Judson booksellers here in downtown Greenville and her insightful writing about the massacre at Mother Emanuel Church in Charleston touched me deeply and moved me mightily. She’s amazing as are all of your staff.

I’m thankful to find a newspaper home in the P and C bcsuse in this day of on-line news stories, I still love a food newspaper with local stories about local people who are making the world a better place for everybody. Plus I love the investigative journalism, which I feel helps us get to the essence of the truth where we are surrounded by the video of hall truths and whole lies.

In friendship,

Trevor Scott Barton

(864) 525-9530

[email protected]

Small Story

Notes from Public School 2021-2022

‘Hearing’ and ‘Hereing’ by Trevor Scott Barton

Berea Elementary School

Greenville County School District

Paola was a first-grader from El Salvador who lived in a small apartment with her grandma, mom, sister and uncle.

She was a wonderful kid, and has become a wonderful young lady.

The road from the countryside of El Salvador to the upstate of South Carolina is long and hard.

If you take the time and make the effort to ask the migrants who travel along that road, “Why are you trying to make it to the United States?” they will answer, “I’m trying to find una vida mejor, a better life.”

The journey along this road is fraught with danger and heartbreak.

Listen to these words from journalist Oscar Martines, who embedded himself with migrants on the migratory road from Central America to the Mexican – United States border and wrote about the people he met there in his book The Beast: Riding the Rails and Dodging Narcos on the Migrant Trail.

"We walk on, telling ourselves that if we get attacked, we get attacked. There’s nothing we can do. The suffering that the migrants endure on the trail doesn’t heal quickly. Migrants don’t just die, they’re not just maimed or shot or hacked to death. The scars of their journey don’t only mark their bodies. They run deeper than that. Living in such fear leaves something inside them, a trace and a swelling that grabs hold of their thoughts and cycles through their heads over and over. It takes at least a month of travel to reach Mexico’s northern border…Who takes care of them? Who works to heal their wounds?"

Before The Beast was translated into English, it was titled Los Migrantes Que No Importan, The Migrants Who Don’t Matter.

It is important to remember that people do not leave their family, their homes, their land unless they have to.

If your children are threatened by violence, sickness or poverty, you migrate and look for una vida mejor for them.

If your house is bombed and your land is stolen from you by the state or by narcos, you migrate and look for una vida mejor.

If you open your cupboard, and there is nothing there but dust, and you reach into your pockets to find money to buy food, and there is nothing there but lint, and there is no sustaining work for you to do to support your family, but only less than subsistence wages, you migrate and look for una vida mejor.

No, no one wants to leave their family, their homes, their land unless they have to.

No one wants to take on the danger and heartbreak of the migratory road unless they have to.

But some people have to.

Here in the United States, there is work that needs to be done that could provide una vida major for migrants.

There is a way for migrants to find food, shelter, clothing, work, medical care, and education for where there was none before.

There is a way unless we block that way for them through political demagoguery or caustic indifference, unless we think they don’t matter.

My little student Paola matters.

All of the Latinx students around me matter.

Please let me tell you a story.

One time, a new student named Billy walked into Paola’s classroom.

“Hi,” Paola whispered to him as he sat down beside her.

“I’m glad you’re in our class.”

She didn’t know the story of the suffering that brought Billy to our school, but perhaps she recognized something familiar in his taut face, quivering voice and shaking hands.

“This is your journal.

It goes in your desk, like this,” she explained.

“These are our crayons and markers.

You can use them if you want to.

Don’t worry.

There’s lots to learn.

’ll help you.”

Perhaps her eyes are so kind and her mind is so helpful and her heart is so compassionate because she made the journey on the migratory trail from El Salvador to here.

So many of my Latinx students have compassionate eyes, intuitive minds and compassionate hearts.

They are beautiful, ingenious, wonderful and courageous.

They are the opposite of the destructive, demagogic, dehumanizing words Politicians use to describe the immigrants at our southern border looking for una vida mejor.

They are human beings.

They are life.

They matter.

I want you to know something.

I want them to know, too.

I am here to take care of them.

I am here to heal their wounds.

I have no superpowers to help them.

I only have stories to write and a fragile life to give.

But I hear.

And I’m here.

Maybe that’s good enough for today 💛

Dum Spiro Spero.

Sent from my iPhone

0 notes

chrizbang · 3 years

Photo

Pairing: Lee Felix x female reader

Genre: Smut

Warnings: mature content, lowkey slow burn, breeding kink, soft!dom Felix, creampie.

Word count: 2.975

You and Ashley have been friends for four years now. You went through a lot of hardships together, especially when Ashley had an unplanned pregnancy in the last year of college. Luckily, Mason, now her husband, is an amazing person, and even though it was hard, she was able to graduate. You loved her baby, Arthur, so much, like it was your little brother. You knew that their anniversary was getting closer and you wanted to surprise her.

"No way, I cannot ask you for something like that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Besides, you know I love spending time with Arthur," you said, holding your phone with one hand while you tried to wash the dishes you used to eat dinner with the other.

"I don't know Y/N..."

"Girl, just stop. I'm not taking a no for an answer. Spending quality time with your husband is important and I know that you have been not getting laid lately."

"You have no idea how hard it is to have sex with a one-year-old making a mess everywhere." You both laughed.

"I'll go to your house tomorrow at 7 pm. Get a reservation at a nice restaurant, get shaved and, wear your best dress. I want you and Mason to have a good time together."

"Okay, but only because it is our anniversary. I'm gonna take this as a present." Ashley sighed, knowing that she had to say yes anyway.

"Because it is, Ashley. I'll see you tomorrow, bye."

"Bye, honey."

You finished your shores and were planning on watching some videos on youtube when you heard your phone buzzing. You picked it up and saw that you had a message.

Felix, 8:45 pm: Hey

Felix, 8:45 pm: Sorry for messaging late but, are you free tomorrow?

You chuckled. Almost 9 pm wasn't late.

Y/N, 8:46 pm: Sorry, I'm going to my friend's house after work.

Y/N, 8:47 pm: I'm going to babysit her baby so she can go have dinner with her husband.

You met Felix at work, during lunch. He was new there and you have seen him sometimes walking around the place, but you never talked to him. Until one day when he dropped his coffee on you. You remembered how embarrassed he was, his cheeks were red and he profusely apologized. Ever since, you had some small talk with him here and there until one day you gave him his number, saying that he could message you if he needed help with something from work. You know it was bullshit since he was from a different department, but still, you needed an excuse to talk to him. He messaged you a few times but eventually, you thought it was a lost cause.

Y/N, 8:57 pm: Why do you ask?

Felix, 9:00 pm: Nothing.

Felix, 9:01 pm: It's silly.

Y/N, 9:03 pm: If it was that silly, you wouldn't have messaged me.

Y/N, 9:03 pm: Spit it out.

Felix, 9:12 pm: There's a convention for Star Wars fans tomorrow. You said that you loved the movies one time so I bought tickets for you.

Y/N, 9:14 pm: Why didn't you tell me before?

Felix, 9:15 pm: I didn't know if you would want to go. But it's okay, don't worry about it.

You thought for a moment. You really wanted to spend time with him. Felix was so sweet, respectful and kind. He was also very, very handsome.

Y/N, 9:30 pm: Do you wanna come to my friend's house tomorrow with me?

You looked at your phone five minutes later and saw that Felix visualized the message but didn't answer. "Congratulations, you fucked it up, Y/N," you said.

You sat on your couch and turned the tv on, planning on finally watching your favorite youtube videos, when you heard your phone buzzing again.

Felix, 9:50 pm: Sure, why not? Is it okay with your friend? She doesn't know me.

You sighed, happy that he answered.

Y/N, 9:51 pm: I'm gonna tell her but I'm pretty sure she'll be fine.

"Is he cute?" Ashley asked, putting on her earring. She looked gorgeous with a tight red dress that accentuated her curves and contrasted with her dark skin. Her curly hair was in a bun, leaving her neck and shoulders exposed. You knew Mason would love it.

"He is very cute. And he's so nice too. I only invited him over because he seems really sweet."

You went to Ashley's house one hour before she would leave for dinner so you could help her get ready, and by help, you meant to force her to wear something that wasn't a t-shirt and jeans.

"How do I look?" she turned around, facing you.

"Gorgeous as always."

Ashley hugged you tight. "Thank you so much, Y/N. You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"But I want to."

The bell rang.

"That's probably Felix," you said.

"Let's go downstairs, I wanna meet this boy."

When you went to the living room you saw Felix talking to Mason.

"Hello, I'm Ashley, nice to meet you."

"I'm Felix, nice to meet you too," Felix raised his hand so he could shake Ashley's hand but she gave him a light hug. You smiled, finding really cute how awkward he was.

"Arthur is sleeping now, he already ate, but if he wakes up, there's milk on the fridge. He usually sleeps all night so you don't have much to worry about."

"Okay, you guys have to go before you're late for dinner," you said, pulling Mason and Ashley towards the door.

"Call me if you need anything. We'll be back tomorrow morning so you'll don't have much trouble with him."

"Don't worry about it. You can take your time."

"Also, don't forg-"

"Baby, we have to go," Mason insisted, holding her hand and trying to get her inside of the car.

"Fine. Bye everyone, see you tomorrow."

You waved at them before going inside and closing the door.

"I'm gonna check on Arthur for a second, you can wait here, okay?" You told Felix.

"Sure."

You went upstairs and checked on Arthur's room. He was sleeping soundly. You felt the urge to lightly pinch his chubby little cute cheeks but you decided not to bother him. You went to the living room again and Felix was sitting on the couch.

"Are you hungry? We bought pizza."

"Uhm, not really."

"Are you sure?" you insisted.

"Okay, one slice would be good."

Felix got up and followed you to the kitchen.

"Your friend has a beautiful house," he said, admiring the place.

"She does. I mean, she's an architect and Mason is an engineer, so they were able to buy a nice place," you cut a piece and handed it to him.

"You said that you studied together."

"We went to the same college, but I graduated in graphic design. For obvious reasons, I don't make as much money as them," you laughed. "Did you always wanted to work in a publishing company?" Felix sat on the balcony standing in the middle of the kitchen. "Honestly, I just wanted to work with what I love. Graphic design is not something that people value but it is what makes me happy." You looked at him and Felix smiled at you, his dimple prominent on his face. He was so cute. "What about you?" "Oh, marketing is definitely not something I dreamed of working with. My family has a long line of people that have been working with it, so I barely had a choice,” Felix confessed. "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah." He looked thoughtful like his mind was somewhere else. "I actually wanted to work with art. I love painting." "Really? That's so cool. Do you have a picture of a painting to show me? I would love to see it." Felix hesitated for a while before he grabbed his phone and scrolled through his gallery. "Please don't think I'm weird," he said before showing you the picture. You raised your eyebrows when you saw what was on the screen of his phone. A beautiful painting of you. You realized that he used your profile picture on Facebook as a reference. "Felix, this is amazing." "It took me a week to finish it," he said, holding his hands behind his back, clearly feeling shy. "I love it, really." You and Felix finished eating. You talked more about your plans for the future, the things you wanted to do with your life, your dreams. You were sitting on the couch watching tv when you heard Arthur crying upstairs. "Ops, somebody woke up." You got up to go to his room and you noticed that Felix was following you. "You don't have to go if you don't want to." "It's fine, I wanna help you." When you entered the room, Arthur was up in his crib, deeply crying. "It's okay," you said in a soft tone, picking him up. "I think somebody needs to change its diaper," Felix said. "You are right," you laughed. "Let's change this little boy." You put Arthur on the changing mat and started to change him, but to be honest, you had no idea what you were doing. Felix laughed. "Let me help you." Felix quickly changed his diaper, he clearly knew what he was doing. "Woah, how do you know that?" you asked, looking at him dumbfounded. He laughed again, amused by your reaction. "I have a small brother so I have changed his diaper plenty of times." "Aaah, that explains a lot."

"Let's see if he wants to eat," Felix said, holding Arthur in his arms. You went to the kitchen and looked for the milk. After pouring it into a pan, you heated it up. "We need to make sure we don't overheat it so it won't burn the baby," Felix said while he tested the milk's temperature. You put it into a baby bottle and gave it to Arthur who promptly drank it. "I guess he was hungry," Felix chuckled. "Do you plan on having kids, Felix?" you looked at him, completely mesmerized by how good he was with kids. "Yes, I love kids. I plan on having two kids one day." "That's so cute, I'm sure you'll be an amazing dad." Felix smiled, making your heart skip a beat. "Do you want to have kids, Y/N?" he looked apprehensive. "Yeah, one day. I still need to find the right person." "Of course." Arthur went back to sleep again when he was done eating. "Not gonna lie, taking care of a baby can be tiring," claimed said, sitting on the couch. Felix sat next to you, his knee touching your leg. "Do you want to watch a movie?" you asked. "Sure!" Twenty minutes later, you started to sleep. Your head felt heavy until it fell on Felix's shoulder. He simply smiled, enjoying the feeling of you so close to him.

The sound of the bell ringing woke you up. You were laying on the couch, a blanket over your body. You looked around and Felix was sleeping on the smaller couch next to yours, with just a pillow under his head. You got up and answered the door. "Hey!" Ashley said, hugging you. "Hi. How was your night?" "It was amazing. Thank you so much, Y/N." Ashley went to the middle of the living room to drop her bag on the couch, Mason following behind. "How's Arthur? Did he behaved?" Mason asked. "Yeah, he slept almost all of the time." You rubbed your eyes, still feeling sleepy. Ashley turned around, seeing Felix sleeping on the couch. "You guys could have slept in the guest room," she laughed. "I'm gonna check on Arthur. What about some breakfast later?" Mason suggested. "That sounds great, but I think we should go home. Besides, you guys need to spend some family time with your baby." You woke Felix up, and while he was trying to get conscious, you chatted with Ashley about dinner. Mason went downstairs with Arthur and you chatted a little more before leaving. "Do you want me to take you home?" Felix asked, leaving Ashley's house by your side. "No, it's okay, I'll get an Uber." "Aw, come on. I'm not gonna let you leave on an Uber so early in the morning." You looked at him, admiring the freckles on his skin. His pink lips looked soft and you had to fight the urge to kiss him. "You know what, okay. I'll go with you." The drive to your house was silent, the music playing on the radio helped you to distract the thoughts on your head. The night you spent with Felix was amazing, seeing him being so sweet like that only made you even more attracted to him. Felix stopped in front of your house. "Well, we are here." "Do you want to come in?" "Oh... uhm, sure, yes, that would be great." You smiled and left the car, running to open the door for him. "Please don't mind the mess," you said, taking some clothes that were on the couch. "Don't worry about it." "Do you want to eat something?" "I'm fine, I'm still full because of the pizza from yesterday." "Okay." There was an awkward silence for a while and you realized you didn't think this through. Invite him over and what? "You know what? There's something I want to eat," Felix said. "Oh, okay. What do you want? I have bread, cereal, we can make panca-" "You." "What?" you looked at him, your eyes wide. "I w-want to eat you." Felix stuttered, his face showing that he was feeling too shy to be saying the words that left his mouth. "Oh, I'm... I-" you didn't have the chance to finish, Felix approached you and kissed you. You were still processing what was happening so you didn't kiss him back yet. Felix noticed and stopped kissing you. "I-I'm so sorry, Y/N, I shoul-" "No! It's okay. I just wasn't expecting." You kissed him, holding his face and tasting his lips. His left hand held the back of your head while the other held your waist. He bit your lower lip, his tongue entering your mouth and playing with yours. He pressed his body against yours and you felt his semi-hard dick. You whined, trying to control your breath. "Do you want to keep going?" Felix asked, his forehead resting against yours. You simply nodded. "Where's your room?" You grabbed his hand, guiding him to your room. Once you were inside, Felix slammed you against the door, pressing his body into yours. He started to grind his clothed cock on your heat and, this time, you couldn't hold your moans anymore. "Felix," was all you managed to say before he kissed you again. A messy kiss that screamed how much he was longing for you, how much he desired you. His hand grabbed your ass, pulling you closer as if it was even possible. "I wanna taste you," he said, taking you to the bed. You laid down and he wasted no time to take off your pants, pulling your panties with them in a swift movement. Soon enough, his tongue was exploring your wet lips, savoring the taste of your arousal. Felix played with your clit, his tongue sliding against the sensitive skin. You hoped that your neighbors had already left for work, otherwise you would end up waking them up because of your moans. Felix stopped eating you out to unbutton his shirt. "You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck you," he said, his voice deep, making you raise your hips, craving to be filled up. "Felix, please," you moaned. "You want me to fuck you, baby?" "Yes, please." It was embarrassing, you weren't used to begging. Most of the time that you had sex, you were always the one in control. But not with Felix. "Are you on the pill?" Felix asked, taking the rest of his clothes off and pumping his rock-hard cock. "Yeah, please fuck me." "Anything for you," he growled, sliding his dick into your dripping pussy. Felix already started an incessant pounding into you, stealing moans from your throat. "You are so fucking beautiful." You closed your eyes, feeling the burning on your stomach getting stronger. "Fuck, so fucking good, Y/N. You are taking me so well." "Please, don't s-stop." "Turn around, I wanna fuck you from behind." You didn't have much strength left, but Felix helped you out. He was inside of you again, hitting the right spots in this position. Felix felt your pussy tightening against his dick and he started to play with your clit. "Fuck, Felix, I'm gonna cum," you screamed, not being able to control yourself anymore. You came, a long moan leaving your mouth. "I'm gonna cum inside of your little pussy, I'm gonna fill you up so good." He didn't slow his pace, his hips hitting yours in a fast rhythm. "I'm gonna put a baby in your little cute belly, baby girl," he said, closing his eyes as his dick slid in and out of your pussy. "Fuck," you moaned. "You are gonna look so good, all swollen, f-fuck." A few lazy thrusts and Felix came inside of you. He kept thrusting on you for a while until you milked him out. He laid by your side, trying to catch his breath. Felix put his arm on his face, hiding it. He looked completely flustered. "I'm sorry, Y/N. It was way too soon for me to let out this embarrassing kinky stuff." "Felix, shut up. It was fucking hot," you smiled, turning around to hug him and rest your head on his chest. He played with your hair, the warmth of his skin making you fall asleep. But sleeping wasn't on Felix's plans. "Ready for round two?"

#stray kids #skz #lee felix #felix #stayhavennet #lee felix smut #felix smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #felix x you #felix x y/n #felix x reader #felix imagine #stray kids imagine #skz imagine

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waitimcomingtoo · 3 years

Text

touch

chapter four: closure

Synopsis: you love him but you can never touch him

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

“Op. Timers up.”

You rolled off of Peter and reached for your phone to turn your alarm off, sighing sadly as you did.

“I hate that sound.” Peter groaned as he rolled onto his back. “That sound should be illegal.”

“Well if you feel that strongly about it, you can gather a group of strong willed individuals and start a petition.” You teased him as you sat up.

“Are you sure that was 20 minutes? That went by really fast.” He pouted as he rolled onto his side. He lazily played with your fingers as he looked up at you with puppy dog eyes. You sighed deeply, eyes filling with regret as you pulled your hand away.

“Pete.” You said apologetically. “It was 20 minutes. No more touching.”

Peter nodded in understanding and withdrew his hand, letting it rest on his chest instead.

“It’s not long enough.” He mumbled as he stared out the window. “No amount of time is long enough.”

“I know.” You agreed with him. “But it’s better than how we used to be. At least we get to touch now.”

“For less than half an hour a day.” He grumbled as he sat up, his mood entirely altered now.

“It’s for the best. You don’t even know what I’d do to you if I could touch you all day.” You smiled coyly, trying it bring him back to a good mood as you stood up on your knees and crawled towards him. Peter perked up with a curious gaze as he turned his body to face you.

“What would you do?” He cocked an eyebrow as he leaned towards you but didn’t make contact.

“I’d tell you, but you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” You teased him before swiftly pulling away. Peter groaned and threw a pillow at you before his mood shifted.

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful.” Peter said apologetically as his eyes softened. “This is so much better than what we were doing before. I would prefer if I had all the time in the world to touch you, but I’ll take my 20 minutes. I’m lucky I get even that.”

You bit your bottom lip and checked your phone, seeing that it was two minutes past your allotted 20 minutes.

“We still have a minute.” You lied, focusing all your self control on not hurting him as you leaned in to kiss him. Peter eagerly kissed you back, rising on his knees to hold you closer to him.

“I love you so much.” He whispered against your lips. “I’m never going back to what we did before.”

“Me either.” You smiled fondly at him as you stroked his face with your thumbs. “Okay, times really up now. No more touching.”

Peter pouted and let go of you before flopping on the bed with a huff.

“No pouting either.” You teased him as you rubbed your aching temples.

“It would be a lot easier to stop touching you if you weren’t so pretty.” Peter chuckled as he watched you get dressed.

“Sorry about that. It’s all my fault.” You sighed dramatically as you pulled your shirt over your head.

“It is.” He nodded repeatedly. “It’s unbearable trying to resist kissing you every time you walk into a room.”

“I know the feeling.” You told him as you looked at him through the mirror on his dresser.

“Don’t look at me like that, peaches.” He warned. “The 20 minutes are up.”

“I know.” You smiled a little sadly. “I’m just looking.”

“I have to get to training.” Peter sighed as he checked his phone. “I’ll see you after, okay?”

“I’ll see you later, lover.” You blew him a kiss. He caught it, despite how corny it was, and held it against his heart.

“You make it so hard to leave.” He whined as he walked up to you, leaning his hands on either side of you but never touching you.

“Go. You don’t want to be late.” You reminded him playfully. “I’ll see you soon.”

“All right.” He jutted his bottom lip out. “Bye.”

As soon as Peter left the room, you ran to the connected bathroom and threw up in the toilet. You brushed your teeth with the toothbrush he had left there before sliding against the wall and putting your head in your hands. Your brain was pounding in your head, as if it had a heartbeat of its own. You rubbed your temples as hot tears of anguish rolled down your face, the pain worsening before going away.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked once he noticed the pained look on your face in the living room.

“Nothing.” You shook your head as you sighed. “I just have a headache.”

“Again?” Bruce began to worry. “You’ve been complaining of one all week.”

“Yeah. I don’t know, it’s probably just a cold.” You lied as you adverted your eyes. Bruce didn’t buy into your lies and pressed a hand against your forehead. You immediately jumped back, fearful that you’d hurt him.

“Y/n, you’re burning up.” He really began to worry now.

“Careful, Br. Banner. It’s not safe for you to touch me.” You reminded him as you kept your distance.

“Could I run some labs?”

“Is that necessary?” You asked. “It’s just a headache.”

“You’ve only been using the stun gun once a week right? Like I told you?” He asked making you stop in your tracks.

“Yeah.” You lied. “Just once a week.”

“Alright, good.” He sighed in relief. “I made it with gamma radiation, you know. Too much of that will kill you.”

“Kill me how?” You wondered as your mouth went dry.

“Well, you were born with your powers.” He explained. “Your abilities are a part of your nervous system. Temporarily taking your powers away for 20 minutes holds up with nervous system. Too much radiation will slowly weaken you until you die.”

“Oh.” You nodded slowly. “I see.”

“But once a week is fine.” He assured you. “That shouldn’t do too much damage. It might give you a headache though. Would you mind if I ran some labs?”

“Sure. Whatever you need.” You said quietly as a panic set it. You used the stun gun 7 days a week and you we’re finally feeling the consequences.

“Let’s go.” Bruce escorted you to the lab.

An hour later, you left the lab with an anxious feeling in your tummy. You ran into Peter in the hallway and plastered a fake smile on so he wouldn’t worry.

“There you are.” Peter smiled as he approached you. “I burnt my hand on the oven again.”

“You did?” You worried as you tan to him. “Let me see.”

You took Peters hand in yours and squeezed it but didn’t feel his pain transfer to you.

“That’s weird.” You blinked in confusion. “I don’t feel anything.”

“Hm.” Peter fought a smile. “Weird.”

“You’re such a liar.” You playfully hit him when you realized his trick. “You didn’t burn your hand.”

“No. I just wanted to hold my girlfriends hand. I’m sorry.” He looked at you with his puppy dog eyes, still holding your hand.

“I forgive you but don’t do it again. This isn’t a game, Peter. I could seriously hurt you.” You reminded him. You began to worry he was gonna make a habit out of tricking you to touch him. You were feeling horribly sick, and you were a fast healer. You had no idea what would happen to Peter if you accidentally transferred your pain to him.

“I know.” Peter smiled apologetically. “I think I have a paper cut, though.”

“Where?” You raised an eyebrow, not believing him.

“My lips.” He said sheepishly.

“Uh Uh.” You shook your head teasingly. “Not fooling me, Parker.”

“I thought that would work.” He whined. “Fuck me.”

“Aw, I so would but we already had our 20 minutes today.” You teased him, making his jaw drop.

“That is not what I meant and you know it.” He narrowed his eyes at you. Before you could respond, you heard your name called from behind you.

“Y/n.”

You turned around, your smile immediately fading when you saw Bruce standing there with a frown.

“I’ll catch up with you.” You told Peter before jogging over to Bruce.

“Hi Dr. Banner.” You smiled weakly. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m so sorry.” Bruce whispered, looking incredibly guilty as he held your lab results in his hands.

“What happened?” Your mouth went dry.

“There must be something wrong with the gun. I must’ve calibrated it to disperse more gamma radiation than I intended. Your whole body is full of it. There should not be this much. I don’t know how this happened.” He apologized as a sick feeling settled in your tummy.

“Dr. Banner, it’s okay.” You assured him. “It’s not your fault.”

“It is. I must’ve gotten the calculations wrong or left out a variable or-“

“I use it everyday.” You blurted, cutting him off. Bruce’s face twisted in confusion as he processed what you said.

“What?”

“The stun gun. I use it everyday so I can touch Peter.” Tears came to your eyes as your confession came out. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”

“Y/n, your body needs at least a week to recover from a blast of gamma radiation.” Bruce told you. “That’s why I told you to only use it once a week. Your body can’t heal in just a day, even with your enhanced abilities. Every time you use the gun, you make yourself sicker. Your ability to heal quickly is the only thing keeping you alive right now.”

Your jaw locked in fear as the tears fell down your cheeks. You didn’t say anything as you sucked in a shark breath.

“Hey, it’s all right.” Bruce rubbed your shoulder. “My body is full of it too.”

“I’m so sorry. You told me it was dangerous and I did it anyway. I’m so stupid.” You whimpered as you wiped your face on the back of your hands.

“You’re not stupid. I’ve been here before.” Bruce sighed. “I pushed people away, even when I really loved them, because I was scared of hurting them. You’re not a monster for wanting to be loved.”

“Am I gonna die?” You whispered.

“I don’t know.” Bruce answered honestly. “How long have you been doing this?”

“Everyday for the last three months.”

“You should stop for at least 6 months then, and we’ll reassess then.” Bruce advised. You felt the air get knocked out of your chest when Bruce told you you wouldn’t be able to touch Peter again for 6 months.

“Dr. Banner, I can’t go back to how I was before.” You protested. “I can’t do that to Peter.”

“The only other option is poisoning yourself with the radiation until you die. I think Peter will understand.” Bruce told you.

“What about me?” You shrugged sadly. “What if I don’t understand?”

“Go talk to him.” Bruce advised. “Just have a calm, adult conversation.”

“Okay. Calm and adult.” You nodded. “I will.”

You immediately went to Peter’s room and knocked on his door, waiting to enter until he told you to.”

“Hey, peaches.” Peter smiled brightly as you shut the door behind you. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Peter we have to break up.” You blurted out, making Peter sit up and go to the edge of his bed. So much for your calm and adult conversation.

“What?” Peter’s face fell at your words.

“I…I did something really bad.” You shook your hands as you began to panic. You paces around his room as the guilt and anxiety ate away at you.

“Peaches, it’s okay. Talk to me.” Peter reached out to touch you but quickly withdrew his hands when he remembered he couldn’t.

“I lied to you.” You confessed as tears came to your eyes.

“About what?” Peter asked slowly as you stopped pacing.

“Dr. Banner told me I could only use the stun gun once a week. I knew it was dangerous to use everyday but I did it anyway and it’s killing me.”

“Killing you?” Peter’s eyes darkened.

“The radiation. Dr. Banner said if I keep using it, it’ll kill me. I’m so sorry.” You began to cry, wishing more than anything that you could reach out and touch him.

“Then we just won’t use it anymore, peaches.” Peter said calmly. “Not if it’s killing you.”

“But we can’t use it for at least 6 months.” You cried. “You said so yourself, you hated the way we were before. You don’t want to go back. So I’m letting you go. I’m not gonna make you stay in this relationship if we can’t touch each other.”

“Peaches, I don’t love you because I get to touch you.” Peter chuckled softly. “And don’t get me wrong, I love getting to kiss you and hold you, but just being with you is my favorite part. I can go another 6 months without touching you if it means you’re still my girlfriend.”

“But…but you said you’d never go back.” You calmed down long enough to realize Peter wasn’t mad.

“I’d never go back to us being just friends. I can go back to us not touching if it keeps you safe. That’s all that matters to me.” Peter promised you.

“Really?” You asked hopefully.

“Really.” He nodded. “I love you in any way I can have you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled gratefully at him before pulling him into a kiss. In the heat of the moment, you didn’t think about the pain you were holding inside and kissed him deeply. Peter kissed you back for just a moment before you heard a small gasp emit from the back of his throat. You felt him slid off your lips and opened your eyes to see him collapsed on the floor.

“Peter?” You asked as you knelt down beside him. You rolled him over and let out a gasp when you saw how pale he was.

“Peter?!” You shook him aggressively. “Peter?!”

When Peter didn’t respond, you let out a guttural scream for help.

“Dr. Banner!”

Bruce rushed into the room when he heard your scream, stopping shortly when he saw Peter.

“What happened?” He asked as he knelt down beside you.

“No no no the radiation.” You cried as you shook Peter. “I just gave him the radiation.”

“Okay, calm down. Let me get him to the lab.” Bruce instructed as he grabbed Peters feet. You hooked your arms under Peter and helped Bruce carry him to the lab. You laid him on the table and stood anxiously as Bruce hooked Peter up to a monitor.

“You said the only thing keeping me alive was my healing abilities.” You worried as you chewed on your nails. “He doesn’t have that.”

“But he has something like it.” Bruce reminded you. “He’s still enhanced. He might not die from this.”

“Might?” You whispered at the little hope he was able to offer you. Bruce gave you an apologetic look as he continued to work on Peter. You felt useless as you stared at Peter’s lifeless body until you got an idea.

“Wait.” You spoke up. “Let me take his pain. I’ve done it before.”

Bruce was quiet for a minute as he stared at Peter’s monitor.

“He’s not in pain.” He said quietly.

“He has to be. He has to be if I was.” You reasoned.

“Y/n, Peter isn’t in any pain.” Bruce repeated. You realized he had stopped working on Peter and felt a sinking feeling in your tummy.

“Why?”

Bruce looked away from the monitor and took his glasses off for full dramatic effects.

“Because he’s dead.”

“What?” You shrieked as all the color left your face.

“I’m kidding. Was that a bad joke?” Bruce grimaced as you gasped for air. “You can take his pain. It’s just gonna hurt a lot.”

You gave him a frustrated look before placing your hands on either sides of Peter’s face.

“Come on, Peter.” You willed him. “Come on, Spiderman.”

It took a minute, but his pain slowly drew out of his body and into yours. Your veins darkened to a jet black as the radiation seeped back into your body, making you let out a scream.

“Y/n, be careful.” Bruce warned as Peter’s vitals began to improve.

“It’s killing me.” You screamed in agony as the color began to return to his cheeks.

“Because it’s three months worth of radiation at once. You’ve been building it up.” Bruce grimaced when he saw the toll it was taking on you.

“It hurts so bad.” You cried.

“It’s almost all out.” Bruce told you. “Just hold on a little longer.”

“Dr. Banner, I need you to do something for me.” You said breathlessly, your body beginning to shut down.

“What is it?” Bruce asked.

“I need you to recalibrate the stun gun to permanently remove my powers.”

“What?” His eyes widened. “Why?”

“So nothing like this ever happens again.”

“Then you can’t be an Avenger.” Bruce protested.

“But I can be a human being.” You shouted. “I want that more. I want that most.”

“But-“

“Please.” You cried. “Just do it.”

“Okay.” Bruce agreed. “I will.”

“Thank you.” You nodded. “I’m gonna pass out now.”

“Okay.” Bruce told you, but you had already hit the floor.

Once Peter’s vitals were stable, Bruce transferred him to his own room. As soon as he was awake and responsive, you went to visit him.

“Hey.” You greeted Peter in a soft tone as he woke up from a nap.

“Hi peaches.” Peter lit up when you sat on his bed. “I’m surprised you came to see me. I’m…I’m really glad you did.”

“Why wouldn’t I come to see you?” You smiled teasingly

“Dr. Banner told me what happened.” Peter admitted. “I thought you were going to blame yourself for what happened and be too scared to come near me.”

“Are you scared that I’m near you?” You asked him softly as you kept your eyes down.

“No.” Peter shook his head immediately. “I want you to be near me.”

“Good. I want to be near you too.” You chuckled as you laced your fingers through his. Peter looked at your hands in happy shock before giving them a squeeze.

“You’re touching me?” He asked happily.

“After what happened, I had two options.” You explained. “I could’ve shut you out to ensure I never hurt you again, or I could make sure I never hurt anybody again.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had Dr. Banner remove my powers.” You smiled sheepishly. “I told him to take them all away, but he found a way to let me keep the healing aspect. I can still heal, but I can’t hurt.”

“You had him take away your powers?” Peter asked in shock as he sat up straighter. “Why?”

“Because human beings need to be touched.” You shrugged. “I didn’t want to live without that anymore. I didn’t want to be allotted 20 minutes a day to touch the boy I love.”

“You did this for me?” Peter asked fondly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb.

“No.” You shook your head. “I did this for me. I didn’t want to worry anymore. I wanted to be free.”

“So this means…” Peter raised an eyebrow. You nodded a little before leaning in to kiss him, feeling weightless as the fear of hurting him was long behind you.

“It means we get to do this all the time, lover.” You whispered against his lips. “Anytime we want.”

“Anytime we want?” He asked for comfirmation.

“Yup.” You popped the p for emphasis.

“In that case.” Peter raised an eyebrow. “What were you saying before about what I couldn’t handle?”

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #iron man #tom holland fanfiction

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ragingbookdragon · 3 years

Text

Don't Bleed Me Then Push Me Away

Kyle Rayner x Batbrother One-Shot

Word Count: 2K Warnings: Explicit Language, Angst

Author's Note: Based off this ask about Batbro being a Lantern! Enjoy! -Thorne

**********************************************************************

He burst through the door leading out to the roof, one arm wrapped around the man’s back, the other slamming the door shut. Huffing, he set him against one of the overhead vents before hurrying back to the door, yanking something from his belt. He shoved it against the door frame, just at face height and clicked a button, watching a red-light flicker on.

Sprinting back over, he knelt in front of the man who was moaning lowly, pawing at his side; he grabbed the hand. “Kyle, babe, don’t.”

“It hurts,” he moaned, dropping his head; he tugged the jacket away from his side, eyes widening at the crimson blooming larger and larger. “Oh God, I’m gonna bleed out.” He looked up, meeting his eyes. “(Y/N), I’m bleeding out.”

(Y/N) shook his head. “You’re gonna be okay.” Pressing a finger to his ear, he shoved the other against Kyle’s side. “Black Ops to Batman, come in.”

I read you, Black Ops. What’s your status?

“Not good. Green Lantern’s down and I’m not looking too hot either.” A blast sounded from below, on one of the floors beneath them. “We’ve got incoming enemies from the lower floors.” (Y/N) craned his neck, peeking over the side of the building before ducking again. “Tanks are in the courtyard.”

I’m sending the Batplane to your position.

“Negative Batman, anti-aircraft missiles were spotted earlier.” He breathed heavily, mind working in overdrive as he tried to think of a plan, but nothing was coming to him. Kyle’s blood was warm underneath his fingers and with how wounded the Lantern was, not even his ring could heal his injury.

—ack Ops. Black Ops. (Y/N)!

He shook himself from his stupor. “I’m here.”

I’m sending the Batplane.

“You can’t!” he yelled. “It’ll get shot down!”

I’m willing to take that chance if I get you and Kyle out.

“Dad I—” another blast sounded, this time from the rooftop door and he spun, listening to the screams of the men who’d taken a C4 charge straight to the face. (Y/N) yanked out his side arm, dropping the few who managed to survive and come out. He pulled the trigger one more time but all it did was click. Empty. He started hyperventilating, unable to decide if Kyle needed his attention more or if he should worry about getting them to safety.

But where could he take them? They were on the rooftop surrounded by tanks and soldiers. There was nowhere to run. They were at the end of the line.

(Y/N) looked back at Kyle. Sweat dripped down his face, his black hair clinging to his forehead; he looked clammy and ready to pass out. He glanced down at their hands pressed together, Kyle’s atop (Y/N)’s, and his eyes widened. The power ring.

He grabbed Kyle’s hand. “Kyle, gimme your ring.”

“What?” the Lantern moaned weakly. “My ring?”

(Y/N) nodded, slipping it off; he put his hand to his mouth, yanking the strap with his teeth before biting the tip of the middle finger, tugging it off. He slipped the ring on his finger and waited. He swallowed thickly, muttering, “Come on. Come on. Come on.”

“(Y/N),” Kyle whispered, and he looked at his lover. “It’s not working.”

“It has to,” he retorted, tears stinging the corner of his eyes. “I don’t wanna die here.” He leaned forward, one hand coming up to clasp the side of Kyle’s neck, his thumb brushing his cheek as he pressed his forehead to the man’s. “I don’t want us to die here.”

Kyle swallowed, a ghost of a grin on his lips. “I love you, (Y/N).”

He shook his head. “No. Don’t say that now.”

“I don’t know if we’ll get another chance,” he countered, nosing the soldier. “If we die here, then I want you to know that I love you.”

(Y/N)’s jaw tightened. “We’re not dying. Not now. Not today.” A wave of power surged through him, crashing against his soul like a tidal wave. “I refuse to give in. I won’t.” he shut his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Kyle’s skin against his own. “I’ll get us to the other side.”

A flash of green light burst across the sky, followed by an other worldly voice. (Y/N) Wayne of Earth. You have the ability to protect the ones you care for without fear. Welcome to The Green Lantern Corps.

He opened his eyes, the suit of green flooding his vision; a breathless laugh passed his lips and he gazed at Kyle. “I told you.”

Kyle snorted pitifully. “Yeah, yeah.”

(Y/N) grinned. “How do I work this thing?”

“Anything you can think of. If you can will it, it’ll come to life.”

He stood, looking down at the soldiers in the distance. “Any qualms against killing?”

Kyle shook his head. “Rules have been rewritten. Lethal force against enemies of the Green Lanterns has been authorized.” He gasped, leaning down to the ground and (Y/N) held out his arms.

“You need medical attention.”

“I’ll be fine,” he wheezed, shaking his head. “Go.”

(Y/N) knelt. “I’m not taking any chances.” He looked around. “I know who to call.”

“Who?”

He leaned forward, pulling Kyle into his arms. “Try not to move.” (Y/N) stood to his feet, eyes directed to the sky as he shouted, “Supergirl!”

A rush of wind gusted over them, almost knocking him off his feet and he looked over, seeing her red cape billowing above them. “(Y/N)?” she questioned. “You’re a Green Lantern?”

“For the moment,” he answered, holding Kyle up. “I need you to get Kyle to the Batcave back in Gotham City. Now.”

She glanced at the wounded man. “Oh my God, what happened?”

“Mission gone bad,” (Y/N) said. “Kara, please. Hurry.”

Kara nodded, lowering down to take Kyle from (Y/N); he grasped at (Y/N)’s shoulders. “I’m not leaving you.”

He shook his head. “You need to get to a hospital, or you’ll die.” He smiled. “I can take care of this.” (Y/N) met Kara’s gaze. “Go.”

She took off, ignoring how Kyle screamed at her to take him back.

(Y/N) flew to the ledge, standing atop it, and a gun went off; he raised a hand, imagining an aegis and sparks flew when the bullet ricochet off the bright green shield. He felt a renewed sense of strength and took a single step off the ledge, raising his hands high above his head; and the soldiers along the ground all gaped in terror as thousands of glowing arrows appeared in the sky, all the sudden coming down in a fury of green hellfire.

***

Kyle came to with wide eyes, sitting straight up on the med bay bed, though it proved to be a terrible decision as pain swelled through his side and ebbed outwards every which way. He gripped his abdomen, hissing with displeasure.

“Hey, take it easy,” someone commanded, pressing a hand to his shoulder and he cocked his head up, Jason coming into focus beside him.

“(Y/N),” he blurted out. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

Jason shook his head. “He hasn’t come back yet.” Kyle’s face dropped and Jason was quick to reassure, “But he didn’t send the code-word, so we know he isn’t dead yet.”

“What?”

“We’ve got a code-word we’re only allowed to use if we know for certain we’re not going to make it.” Jason leveled Kyle with a firm stare. “(Y/N)’s still out there somewhere.”

Kyle shoved his arm off. “Then I need to be up helping.”

“With what? He’s got your ring.” Jason put his hand back on the other’s shoulder and this time pushed him back on the bed. “You just lay right here and recover. We’ll do everything.”

“I can’t just lie here, Jay,” he retorted, though he made no move to get up. “I need to help you.”

“(Y/N) would want you to rest,” Jason shot back, and Kyle scowled.

“Screw you for using him against me.”

He snickered. “I’m just saying what you know you should be doing.” Jason reached over, pressing a button, and Kyle felt the world slow down, his vision growing dark as sleep washed over him. “There you go. Let the morphine lull you back to sleep.”

“Gonna…kick your…ass,” Kyle slurred before his head dropped down, eyes slipping shut as his consciousness faded, Jason’s amused hum echoing in his ears.

***

Kyle liked to be touched. He found physical measures of affection just as important as verbal ones. And (Y/N) liked to touch. A hand on a thigh, a kiss on a temple, a finger looped through a belt-loop, a toe brushing an ankle, digits carding through hair; he was content to simply be in contact. His favorite way was to touch was when he and Kyle were laying in bed, the latter’s back pressed to (Y/N)’s chest, one of the soldier’s arms wrapped around the Lantern’s waist, the other arm under Kyle’s head, folded back so he could brush through his lover’s hair.

It was uniquely intimate and sweet at the same time, and (Y/N) would simply lie there, breathing in the scent of Kyle’s minty shampoo, brushing the dark strands until they felt like silk beneath his fingers. And Kyle would hum contently like a cat, grunting if (Y/N) stopped. On the rare cases that he did, the Lantern would pout like a child and turn over in (Y/N)’s arms, burying his face in the soldier’s throat, nose brushing his lover’s Adam’s apple, breath warm against his skin. (Y/N) would chuckle, the vibrations rumbling through Kyle as the soldier’s arms twisted, cocooning the Lantern to his chest, legs tangling like ribbon.

It’s the feeling that Kyle had at the very moment, and he blinked blearily, inhaling deeply as he forced his mind to rise above the sleep clouding his brain. The comforting scent of cedarwood and gun metal wafted up his nose, a hint of tobacco hidden within. Warmth spread across his body, hot air puffing against his temple, as he finally felt the pressure over the left side of his body.

He opened his eyes, seeing a familiar set of dog tags and he tried to jerk up when someone’s hand rested on his chest, a comforting deep voice murmuring, “Easy, babe.”

Tears stung Kyle’s eyes and he fumbled for the hand over his heart, clenching the fingers through his own as he whispered, “Fuck you.”

“Hmm,” (Y/N) chuckled lowly. “Wasn’t expecting that.”

“You sent me away,” he hissed, barely restraining the tears. “I thought you were going to die.”

“Not yet.” He retorted, kissing Kyle’s temple. “Go back to sleep.”

“No. I’m mad.”

“Mmm, no, you’re actually relived I’m back alive and spooning you on a crappy med bay bed.”

“Don’t try to change my mind,” Kyle shot back, trying to wiggle, but (Y/N) had him in a tight grip. “I want to yell at you.”

(Y/N) sighed and pulled away, gazing at the Lantern; Kyle opened his mouth to start berating him and he merely leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lover’s lips. Kyle’s eyes went wide as he made a noise of complaint, but it quickly faded as heat flooded his system.

They pulled away and (Y/N) patted his cheek. “You can yell at me in the morning. Go to sleep.”

Kyle glared at him, though he let his head fall to (Y/N)’s shoulder. “I’m going to kick you in the crotch.”

“Yep.”

“And yell at you for leaving me.”

“Uh huh.”

“Mock me at your own peril, Wayne. I’ll fight you.”

“Ooo, I’m so scared of the green space ranger with fancy boots.”

“You are a major douche.”

(Y/N) nuzzled his head. “I know. You love me though.”

Kyle swallowed the lump in his throat, and he turned, burying his face in (Y/N)’s throat as he whispered, “Don’t ever send me away from you like that ever again.”

He smiled, carding his hand through the Lantern’s hair. “Never again.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” (Y/N) kissed Kyle’s head. “Go to sleep. I’m not going anywhere.”

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binniesthighs · 3 years

Text

what you heard | reader x changjin

a/n: hi. its missing changjin hours also now I am addicted to poly r/ship fics so here is what my brain came up with hehe (pic creds to OPs!)

what you heard | reader x changjin

Pairing: self insert, hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader x seo changbin

Genre: smut w/ fluffy tones

Tags: poly r/ship, comfort fic, outdoors sex, friends to lovers, discovery of feelings, idiots in love, with a lil bit of comedy, college au, teehee switch!changbin, switch!hyunjin, switch!reader, they’re all kinda fighting for dominance muhaha (its those bestie vibes ahaha), bratty behavior on all sides, jinnie kinda flips a switch when he gets in the mood (hehe pun intended), spitroasing (r), unprotected sex (stay safe!), sex under the stars hehe, penetration and fingering (r), oral (r & m), face fucking, cumshot, cum eating, that good, good makin’ out, soft and intimate body touching hell yeah, fluffy ending

Word count: 6.8k

Recommended listening: what you heard by Sonder

If there was something that you and your two bestfriends were the best at, it was getting your heart broken.

Hopeless romantics you all were, in one way or another. In fact, it would take even more than your set of three hands to count the number of times that the three of you had come over with a broken heart, seeking ice cream, hugs, or plates to break.

Changbin was the kind to fall in love slowly, but when he did, it consumed him, and everything that he was. He would become convinced that there was no one better for him in the whole world. He would spend sleepless night writing songs and poetry about those who would occupy his mind. Changbin would write love letter after love letter to never send them, or to have them crinkled into papery balls, and slam-dunked into his waste bin. He would often joke that he was ready to love someone, but he just didn’t quite know how to. Under it all, you and Hyunjin knew that he must’ve been scared if they didn’t love him back.

Hyunjin fell in love with people at the drop of a hat. It was his “fatal flaw” as he liked to to joke about too. The gorgeous blond man would fall in love over hearts scribbled on coffee cups, smiles in passing, and compliments on days when he had caught the bus late. This man was the kind to sing love songs loudly in the shower no matter who heard him, and would often have a new crush by the week. Unlike Changbin, he had no fear when it came to confessing, but had even worse luck getting someone to take his words seriously. Hyunjin had too much love to give, and never received enough back.

You, on the other hand, delayed love for as long as you could, no matter how much that you would dream of it. Love came to you in the forms of movies and books, fictional characters and song lyrics. You wrote about the love you had to give in countless journals and on the back of sticky-notes that had been used on the front-side. Love was more of an abstract concept to you. It was never something that you could touch but rather dream about. However, while this wasn’t the worst way to view it all, you still thirsted for something more. A hand to hold, a warm body to tangle up in the sheets with you.

On this day in particular, you and your friends had gathered for a meeting: your “Unofficial Lonely Hearts Club” as you called it. You couldn’t recall who had called the meeting after the long week that you had, but it was likely what each of you had needed.

These nights would often start the same: the three of you shoved into Changbin’s pickup, windows down, night air in your lungs, some song on the stereo that Changbin had been into these days. The three of you lived in the typical college city nestled into the side of some mountainside--a stark contrast to where you had come from before. It was the kind of place where people went to forget about who they were before to become new people. For some reason, some crazy fraction of the people who moved there, never left.

First chance you got, you would move the hell out of there: a place full of so much heartbreak and disappointment…who could dare to stay?

Hyunjin stuck his hand out the window, making little waves with his palm in the wind. You wondered what he had been thinking of that night; if he was sad or if he was happy. After knowing him for nearly four years now, you knew there was nothing in the world that he deserved more than to feel all the warmth that he had conveyed to others. It was a crime that he never got it back.

Changbin’s free arm held to the handle above the car door frame, and he flexed and relaxed his muscles as he hung his fingers there. You too wondered what thoughts floated on his mind: if he was making up lyrics or if he was putting together some grad story or gesture only for it to never see the light of day. He too deserved all the love the world could offer.

Changbin’s car sped up the dirt road to the lookout spot where kids would go to get drunk, high, or possibly both. It was a dreary and empty Wednesday evening, and secretly you hoped that no other rambunctious students would be there to shatter bottles on the craggy rocks. His headlights lit the path ahead, and the car bounced on the rough road with dusty orange rocks. The higher you got to the mountainside, the more static-y the stereo would buzz until soon all that was left were broken lyrics.

There was one spot you liked particularly: it was a ledge that would jut out horizontally, giving a clear view to the whole of the land below: you would see the white lights from the nearby hospital, and the stadium lights from that god-awful football stadium that had sucked up your student loans. Further, you could see river on the edge of the city-line, and how it would ripple in dark blue sparkles under the moonlight.

Your two best friends would grab the blankets that were habitually kept in the backseat made of scratchy wool, but this only made them warmer. Changbin also kept a couple camping lamps in his car to light up the dark space of his cargo bed. The weight of your bodies would shake the space and make the car bounce a bit on its wheels when the three of you would cuddle up between eachother to take in the scene.

On nights like tonight, neither of you would say much, but just look out and feel it all. There was a kind of beauty in the simplicity of the way that everything seemed so still up there, or how time had appeared to stop somewhat. If you were lucky, you could hear the hoot of an owl, or some other critter rustling in the bushes.

Hyunjin was always the one to sit in the middle, and he would take turns resting his head upon your shoulder or Changbin’s sighing deeply into how they would rise and fall. You hugged your knees to yourself and wondered how many more times you would come up here with them, or if after graduation, it would happen at all. It was painful to consider, but you even wondered if they would be in your life at all after everything ended.

“I’m sick of being lonely.” Hyunjin said into the cold air. He shifted, looking both you and your other friend in the eyes. “Its depressing and exhausting.”

“What are you talking bout ‘Jin?” Changbin threw his hoodie over his head.

“I mean moping about people who don’t ever feel the same...feeling sad when it doesn’t go my way...I’m sick of it!! I just wanna like, give up!! Would it be so hard for me to just like, stop feeling??”

“Oh Jinnie...don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just stop falling in love with people. It’s impossible. Not just for you but...” You exhaled out, “...for all of us.”

“Yeeeah, I don’t think that you have much control over that.” Changbin agreed.

“No, seriously!! It’s shit!!”

You wrapped your arms around him lovingly, nuzzling into his shoulder to sooth him, “I know, I know.”

“Aren’t you guys sick of it?? The three of us must be cursed or something.”

Changbin laughed out his little trademark chuckle and ruffled up his friends blond locks. “You’re being dramatic again Hyunjin. It’s not that bad.”

“Psh! Says you who hasn’t gone on a date in months!”

“Hey!!”

You flicked both of your friends on the sides of their heads. “Cut it out, will you? We came up here to relax and forget all that stuff, remember?”

Hyunjin gave out a sign in his exasperation, turning to fiddle with his little Bluetooth speaker that had definitely seen better days. The last crickets of the season chirped in the early fall air, and the little device booted up with the tiny ringtone that you knew well.

“Anything we want to listen to in particular?”

“Whatever you feel like Jinnie.”

The little blue-white light of his phone illuminated his face, and Hyunjin picked a song that you had likely heard dozens of times before. It was from that artist that he had adored to bits, but only really listened to when he was feeling down.

“Oh Jinnie.” You hushed, then wrapped your arm around his wide shoulder. “No one deserves you.”

Changbin let his head fall on the other boy’s shoulder too. When the three of you were close like this with your body heat shared between you, it was cozier than anything imaginable. While you and your two friends weren’t the most touchy of people, there were still times when you could huddle up, and it was no secret that it felt safer than anything.

Hyunjin chuckled a bit, causing his shoulders to shake. “You know what they say in those movies about people who can’t find love after long?”

“What’s that?”

“They say, “By the time that we turn thirty, if neither of us have found love, lets just marry eachother.””

Changbin scoffed, “And you’re bringing this up why?”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t be the most ridiculous idea if the three of us decided to do that, right? Seeing how the current trend is going?”

You exchanged adoring and teasing glances with Changbin over your adorably naïve friend.

“I think you’re missing something out of that equation Jin.”

His doe-eyes widened, “What’s that?”

“In all of those movies, it was usually two people who made that promise.”

“Two people, three people, what does it matter? As of right now, its looking like the only people that we’ve got is eachother.”

Hyunjin stretched out his hands into his sweater paws and made a little squeak when he cracked his back.

“What do you say?”

“Hm.” Changbin cleared his throat, “So you’re being serious?”

“What’s so crazy about it?” Convinced as ever, he counted out the points on his fingers, “We could all live together like we’ve always talked about, we’ll never be lonely and have someone to do things with, we don’t have to be second guessing ever, waiting for someone to call us back...we all already know eachother really well so there will be no surprises...”

“Oh, so you are being serious about it then?” You ruffled his hair up a bit, just to get a rise out of him like it usually would.

“I mean...it’s not like it would be hard...right?”

Changbin sucked at his teeth, “Mm. I guess not.”

“But isn’t a marriage supposed to be like, having kids, being in love, being...partners?” You added.

Hyunjin stammered with frantic hands, “W-well, we don’t have to do everything!! Marriage is so conventional these days, we don’t have to follow all the rules, especially since there will be the three of us anyway.”

Changbin sighed, casting his head up to the ocean-blue sky dotted with silvery constellations and the red blinking lights of airplanes overhead.

“You’re still forgetting something Jinnie.”

The blond tiled his head.

“The part about being in love?”

The tallest boy shied his hair behind his ear, then tucked his chin into one of the blankets.

“I mean...I know that I love you guys. I wouldn’t mind spending the time...”

Your chest buzzed with warmth hearing your friend say it for the first time. It previously had been somewhat of an unspoken phrase between the three of you, but now that he had said it out loud, it felt even more real.

“Awww, I love you too Jinnie.”

Changbin scoffed once more and picked with the fraying ends of the blanket. “I guess I do too.”

The cargo bed grew silent while the three of you chewed on the idea. The longer you thought about it, it started to make sense bit by bit. After all, through all the confusion and the broken hearts, ice cream and broken plates, your little group understood each other better than most. When there were tears to dry, each of you knew exactly what to do. You had loved them all along, you always had.

“I really love you guys...I think.” Hyunjin finally said, and linked his arms with yours and the other man’s.

“What are you doing getting all cheesy for, huh?” Changbin nudged him with a smirk.

“I don’t know, I guess I just never really thought about it like that before.”

“Like what?”

“Out of all the people that I’ve “loved” I don’t think that I’ve ever loved them like I have with you both.”

“What do you mean?” Under the swath of blankets, your knee nudged against his, and he jumped a bit from the feeling.

Both you and Changbin looked at him attentively and how his lip quivered, and soft eyes glistened from the glow of the lanterns.

“M-maybe all along...I’ve been in love with you?”

“Like, in love, in love?”

“I don’t know...maybe?” He rubbed his eyes like he would’ve had they been lured with sleep. “Maybe I’m just, making things up...I don’t know. It’s getting late.” He laughed out with a tentative breath, “I’m saying things that don’t make sense.”

Changbin looked out at the stretch of city lights as if he was contemplating the idea himself.

“I guess that it wouldn’t be impossible.” He said blankly.

“What!?” You tried to look at both of your best friends as seriously as you could. While your heart started racing, it was as if it was against your will.

“It’s kinda funny,” Changbin began, “The three of us always complain about how love never really comes our way when we’ve already got it...right here.”

Logically speaking, it made sense. You and your two best friends really did know eachother better than anyone else ever had. When you had met as scared little 1st years without a clue in the world how to be your own people. You had figured it all out together. The ways that you had showed love to each other had been a bit different--but it was still all the same. If you were to have not met them all those years ago, your life would’ve been drastically different. You couldn’t even picture it.

Perhaps in all of your little rambles in journals and daydreams, was what you were looking for...them?

“Maybe we were just looking in the wrong place?” You offered, and both of them shrugged.

“It’s possible.” Hyunjin pulled both of your arms closer to him, and rubbed his cheek into the top of your head, then Changbin’s dark curls. He giggled out, tackling the two of you to lay flat on the cargo bed. It crinkled with a plastic sounding thud, then he wrapped his legs up in both of yours the best that he could.

Under his arm, you choked a little from his tight grasp, but you eventually let yourself mold into the curves of his body and soak up his warmth. The scratchy wool tickled at your cold fingers, and you soon felt Changbin’s hand come searching for you under the blanket too. It was a bit startling at first, but he reached out to hold your arm, then rubbed small circles into it with his thumb where you rested them on Hyunjin’s chest.

It was as if he was a bit delirious, but Hyunjin chortled with laugher until he had lost his breath, and his lyrical sounding voice bounced off the cavern of the mountain and echoed up into space.

“Why do I...weirdly...kinda...wanna make out with you guys right now?”

Changbin pinched his friend with a teasing grin, “You mean it?”

Hyunjin pouted with his plush pink lips, “I thought we all just agreed that we were in love with eachother??”

“Jinnie...” You settled your head into the crook of his neck, right by his collarbones.

“Damn. Glad I’m not the only one.” Changbin bit a smirk into his lip, then propped himself up on his forearm to gain better ground on you and the other man.

Your fluttering heart beat it’s way up your throat and into your ears, and your two friends looked at you expectantly.

“O-outside? Right now?”

“Yeah, I guess. Why not?” Changbin traced his thumb and index under Hyunjin’s smooth jaw.

“Aha! So you admit that you want to too!!” Hyunjin beamed and tugged at the sleeves of your own hoodie.

“I-I didn’t say that...”

Hyunjin leaned over on his side to face you. “Y/n, how about lets make a deal. We try it out, see how it feels, if it feels weird, we stop and pretend it never happened?”

“I don’t know Jinnie...this seems pretty friendship ending to me.”

“Isn’t that the point?” Changbin said with a sly grin.

The tallest boy pleaded to you with nearly needy eyes. “I think that it would feel nice? Besides...none of us have really...felt that...in a while.”

Changbin’s creeping hands came surveying over Hyunjin’s deep green pullover, and the other boy shivered out a little feeling the touch.

Hyunjin’s own curious hands reached out to hold both sides of your face gingerly with pink fingertips.

“I know that I’d like to kiss you...if you’ll let me?”

Both of your friends waited for you as you took turns checking with both of them. The whole prospect was unimaginable, but now...with both of them in front of you, both more real than anything you could have ever thought up, it started to make all the sense in the world.

“What do you say?” Hyunjin asked with a dreamy air. It was chilly on that early fall evening, so he tucked up the blankets even higher. It was a simple gesture, but still held multitudes of his care.

“It doesn’t hurt to try...”

You felt your face pulled closer to his, and all at once his warmth flooded your lips. It was a strange feeling your friend’s lips on yours like this, but while it was new, it was comfortable. Your friend relaxed himself over you, smiling with the corners of his mouth, and slowly sucking at your lower lip like he didn’t want to startle you with anything too fast. His glossy lips stuck with his favored strawberry flavored Chapstick, and you only wanted to taste more. He hummed with a little happy sound, and his larger hands nearly covered your whole face where he helped tilt your head a little so that he could gift deeper kisses to it.

Beside him, Changbin shook with a sigh watching the two of you, a different kind of passion growing within him seeing the two of the people that he loved most do something like this. He was a bit unsure at first, but he tucked back his friend’s blonde edges to free the skin of his neck, then sucked little kisses there too. He to was careful, and didn’t want to leave marks, but rather feel the way that Hyunjin’s skin dotted with goosebumps from the feeling and then let kitten-sounding whimpers go from the pressure on his neck.

While the night itself was nearly too cold to bear, the three of your bodies heated instantly, and you nearly felt as if the sweater that kept you warm was even too much. Hyunjin parted his lips slightly to enter your mouth with his tongue, and it was a feeling so indulgent that you tried to hide from your friend how good he could make you feel out of your own embarrassment.

Your name slithered from his lips to yours, and you tucked your hands under his sweater, finding Changbin’s hands there too on the other boy’s bare skin. Hyunjin flinched from feeling both sets of hands on his muscles. His abs flared from the attention, and he accidentally bit into your lip feeling the cold pads of fingers on him.

Now that you had one taste of him your body could only crave more.

Changbin tilted Hyunjin’s gasping and swollen lips to his own where he took his own turn gifting the other boy his affection. Hyunjin pressed his whole chest into the other man in an attempt to get closer and Changbin’s hands splayed across his back to hold him tightly. The two of them giggled a bit as they roughly worked their way around each other’s mouths. Changbin, a little smaller in the other man’s wide and long arms appeared to swim in him, and the two of them melted between the thick fabric of their clothes.

Once more your hands went journeying up Hyunjin’s shirt, and you ran your fingers over every curve and twist of his back: from the little dimples above his hips, his ribs, his sweeping shoulder blades and each swelling bit of fleshy dorsal muscle you could get your hands on. You had never realized how curious you had been for him in this way, but it delighted you to feel him this close.

Legs became anxious under the wool blankets, and tangled up with little regard for personal space, and hips writhed asking for attention that had been kept for them for far too long.

Changbin moved down Hyunjin’s jaw to give him more kisses to his tender neck, sucking harder this time to imprint little purple marks. You had never taken Changbin to be one to do so, but something told you that he was one to take pride in those that he loved, and wanted them to be his only.

“B-Bin...” Hyunjin’s voice wavered, no longer loud enough to bounce off the rocks surrounding you.

From the way that Changbin kissed the other boy, you instantly craved for him to do the same for you. Across the width of your gorgeous blond friend, you tossed around Changbin’s dark and curly strands, and soaked up his warmth to your hand cracking from the cold.

You called out for him too, and found your hips grinding into Hyunjin’s back, becoming more impatient by the moment. The way that both of them touched you, and each other was...different. There was no fear, no heartbreak, no uncertainty or loneliness. When you thought of it later, it was if the three of you could actually heal from it all for the first time.

Changbin’s eyes softened hearing you beg for him, and he helped you slide closer to him.

“Hm. You’re so cute.” He muttered before filling your mouth with his own kisses. Changbin appeared to channel everything that he had in him to give to you--it was no surprise considering the romantic that he was. He was attentive and slow; rough at first, but then melting into something much more infatuating. Hyunjin took his turn swiping his hands up and down your thighs, kneading into the skin, and then tucking up your sweater. He shimmied down your body, pressing soft lips into your belly to make you tremble from the pleasant gesture. He made his way up higher, up to your chest where he exposed even more skin to the cold, but was sure to make up for it by keeping the blankets close.

Changbin swiped his thumb over both of your lips, smiling as he did so.

“Have I ever told you that you’re really breathtaking?” He said with a tone so sultry it was a bit laughable.

“I don’t think so?”

He too took a greedy hand down your chest where Hyunjin nipped lightly, admiring the way that you had looked under the moonlight. He brought his fingers back to your lips, giving you a tiny and accidental taste of his fingertips, then promptly resumed the kisses that you had asked for.

Hyunjin worked his way back up your body, stopping at last to lap lightly into your neck with tiny fleeting love bites and delighted in the way that he could see them fade onto your skin--almost like you and him were a matching set now.

Changbin broke his lips from yours, creating a tiny wet sound with a thin string of his saliva on your your bottom lip.

Hyunjin played with the elastic of your sweatpants, gasping out a bit once he saw your legs rub together in the absence of friction. His eyes wandered slowly to his other friend who had grinded his hips down into the cargo bed with a quivering length.

“Are we about to do what I think we are?” He asked, both thrilled and shocked.

“Seems like it.” Changbin said simply after going to caress the other man’s cheek.

“Damn. I was not expecting this night to go like this.” Your voice shook, either from anticipation, or from the cold--you couldn’t quite tell.

“Me neither...but I’m not mad about it.”

“Friendship offically ruined?” Hyunjin said with a mischievous little smile.

The breeze blew through, wrapped up in the smell of the crisp mountain air. Hyunjin’s little speaker played on with his songs that you still knew the names of. There wasn’t too much light, just the glow from the inside of Changbin’s car and his lanterns, but it was just enough to take in your friends fully--the ones that you had cared for so much, you didn’t even known how much you had. While you would’ve been worried about getting caught on that Wednesday night, this mattered little.

“I’d say so.” You answered, and it was exactly what they had wanted to hear.

The three of you opted to keep your tops on to fight off the elements, but under the covers, you each jiggled off pairs of joggers, jeans and sweatpants. The car bounced once more as the three of you readjusted. As soon as bare legs intertwined and the thin fabric of undergarments got thrown into the mix, you each got louder and more desperate for wandering touches that could quell your desires.

With twisted and oversized socks, Hyunjin straddled both sides of Changbin’s head, letting the other man palm the outline of his dick and squeeze at it harshly until he shivered over the smaller man’s frame.

“Damn Jin...” Changbin groaned seeing the other’s length. “You’ve been packing and didn’t feel like sharing?”

“S-shut up.” Hyunjin whined as the other teased him.

You worked bite after bite down Changbin’s torso, sucking lightly, then harder. After long, you found that it tickled him a little--this knowledge you would save for another time.

He wore baggy boxers which hid the full girth of his dick that swelled with his erection that bopped and only appeared to grow larger once you and released him. Thick veins wrapped around his length, and his tip flared where you grabbed him into your palm.

“I could say the same to you, Bin.” You teased your friend.

Hyunjin turned to see for himself, laughing out, seeing the way that it looked in your smaller hand.

“Bin, what the fuck?”

“...Intimidated are you?”

The other boy tossed his head back, hair getting caught in his hoodie. “No...”

Changbin snapped the elastic to Hyunjin’s briefs just because he liked the sound, then pulled the other’s member out to pump at the considerable length with his fist. The blonde boy choked out a gasp at the strong grip, and Changbin dug his fingers around the other’s waist to bring in him closer.

“What me to suck this pretty dick of yours?”

“Do I even need to answer that question?” Hyunjin snarked.

Further down, you worked your own hand around Changbin’s cock which you had lathered at first with your spit. Obscene sounds of the liquid cupped in your hand, then you worked your mouth down to his gloriously thick thighs. Something overtook you then, and all you wanted to to was ravage them, make them all yours, mark them as yours, and make the quiver all because of you.

Your fingernails dug into the fleshy and squishy skin, and Changbin moaned out forcefully feeling the sting.

“Feels good?” You asked with a wicked grin, then returned to sucking bruises into the inner parts of his thighs.

“You’re gonna...gonna distract me.” He sighed out, still jerking the other boy away.

Hyunjin swiped away the other man’s curly bangs so he could see him fully. He guided his length over Changbin’s mouth, teeth clenched with a tight exhale once he felt the warmth of the other’s tongue lapping up the sides of his shaft.

Your teasing was enough, and you finally granted your friend what he wanted. With a girth as wide as he had, it was somewhat of a challenge, but a challenge that you gleefully expected. He had puffed up your cheeks fully, and you could barely take in half is length without it testing the back of your throat. Still, you focused your breath coming out of your nose, and swallowed him down deeper. Your eyes wetted from the simulation to your gag reflex, but you held on for as long as you could. At last, your wish was granted, and his marked up thighs shook just for you.

“Bin...fuck.” The blond shuddered upon coaxing himself fully into his friend’s mouth. He moaned out sinfully feeling the twist of the other man’s tongue.

To give yourself a moment’s pause, you stopped, gasping over your friend’s slit, teasing your tongue around his head, dipping down to the place where he dripped with beads of precum.

Changbin laughed out breathily, swearing easily and calling out your name too with a rasp to his tone. “S-shit...”

“Getting too distracted?” Hyunjin purred, seeing the other man made a wreck by you. “What about me?”

“S-sorry.” Changbin admitted, wetting his lips and taking back Hyunjin’s cock into his hollowed cheeks.

As you swallowed around him, your friend rutted his hips just slightly, his lust overtaking him.

“Oh fuck, just like that, mm--” Hyunjin cooed, getting lost in his own ecstasy with head thrown back, and his sweater paws melting down to Changbin’s quaking chest where he supported himself.

You worked your hand and mouth up and down around the pulsating vein’s of your best friend’s length, lazily letting him feel your flattened tongue, then switching to let him feel the tightness of your throat.

Hyunjin sighed out heavily as looked down at his friend who had taken him so well. It was almost as if he felt cheated from the crappy head that he had been getting in dirty bathrooms and semi-public dressing rooms. It was dangerous in the way that Changbin would stroke him languidly, then let his drool wet his tip.

Further down your hips, the pent up heat from your own sex ached on the cool plastic of the cargo bed, and you grinded your hips down for any simulation you could get.

The blonde man whimpered out after long, feeling even hazier the longer that Changbin continued on. “Binnie...you’re...feels really--fuck--so, good...”

It was as if the words hand been a trigger for him, but your friend pulled his length for your mouth, panting out like a dog, while also robbing Hyunjin of all feeling.

“Don’t-don’t wanna cum yet...” He laughed out, “I was really fucking close.”

Hyunjin pouted, then turning back and look at you with a bit of your own saliva running down your neck.

“Your turn now.” He nearly whispered, then crawled down the other man’s body to jerk at him lightly.

“Jin! I-I--” He clenched his teeth.

“Lay down, y/n. Is there any way that you want it?”

“A-anything. Anything that you want to do. I-I don’t care.” You begged, falling under his spell.

“Aw. Cute.” He added once he had seen the purple marks on Changbin’s thighs.

You fell back under the two of them, opening yourself up for them to do as they wished. First, Hyunjin crept down your body with as much care as he could--beautiful in the way the he looked close to you like this.

Hyunjin’s hand cascaded down your chest, then belly, all the way down to your own twitching and wetted sex, and you keened directly into his touch.

“Wouldn’t you like my fingers? Filling you up...” He asked softly, finally sinking down far enough so that you could feel his words swirl over your exposed arousal, then pressing light kisses into you. “...as deep as you can take it?”

“Mm-yes.” You squeaked, opening your legs further for him.

Your other friend settled beside you, tilting your chin nearer to him. Just barely, his lips grazed over you, breathing in your air with his hooded eyes glued to your weakened form under the hands of the other boy.

“You’re that excited?” Hyunjin mocked, “We’ve barely touched you.”

“Quit talking and just get to fucking me, got it?” You demanded, mustering all of your strength.

“Oh-ho! I didn’t take you for one to bite back.”

Changbin bit a proud little smile into your lip, wrapping his arms around you. The blond man then toyed with your entrance, licking his fingers, wetting them, then pushed them slowly into your needy hole.

“Ahhh, look at that, so fucking tight around my fingers, You want it that bad?”

His long and lithe digits filled you up where he started to thrust them in and out, using his free hand to push your jolting thighs back. Your right hand traversed it’s way under the blankets which you had readjusted, all the way down to Changbin’s leaking length which still blushed red. You wrapped around him carefully, promising his to lips that you would go easy on him.

As Hyunjin curled his fingers, the other man then reached down to rub at you fervently, matching the pace at which Hyunjin flicked his wrist. Your hips lurched feeling the combination of each sensation, and you cried out loudly for the two of them--the sound itself bounced off that empty space where the three of you existed, almost as if you were calling out for the whole starry sky to hear you.

“I-I think that we were really missing out on something...” You joked with an airy breath and both of your friends joined you.

Changbin’s teeth caught his lip as your hand squeezed and twisted, and you could see with every ounce of restraint that he had, he was holding back.

“Way to make me want to fuck you sideways, huh?” He said with a little grin, observing the size difference between your hand and his member.

Your back arched when Hyunjin reached in even deeper, and you dissolved into the pleasure that he brought you--an amazing kind of all-consuming feeling that shattered your will, and sent you mewling out into your other friends mouth.

“I-I can’t wait anymore,” You begged, clawing right into Hyunjin’s golden trellises.

Changbin scooched up quickly, taking half of the blankets with him, thankfully giving the other boy a nod when he let him be the one to use your entrance. With his brutish hands, he flipped you to your stomach, and hiked up your hips too, cold fingers holding them in place. Hyunjin kneeled permitting you access to his cock which as softened slightly, so he pumped himself back into place with his eyes holding yours.

At first, Changbin teased you with his tip, adding pressure to your twitching hole, then guided himself in bit...by bit.

The blonde tapped his dick to your lips, holding firmly the back of your neck as you took him in and choked out at the way that the other stretched your walls. Changbin grabbed at your ass in handfuls starting slowly, grinding his hips in little circles to simulate you deeper.

“Hm. Who would have known that your pretty little hole would be so perfect for me? Guess we really were missing out on something.”

Hyunjin growled lowly feeling his cock slide down to the back of your throat, brows crossed, and the bottom of his hoodie resting just above his hips.

“Squeeze my leg if it becomes too much, okay? ...I’m gonna fuck your mouth, okay?”

You nodded best you could, and he started to thrust carefully, every few seconds you would hold his member to drag it against the sides of your cheeks, causing him to huff out loudly at the fleshy bits of your mouth.

Changbin quickened his pace, doubling over your back as he lost himself in you, grunting out in his rhythm. From both sides, your best friends used you, resorting to something much more feral as they edged themselves closer. From the motions, the car rocked back and fourth like a bed and it’s headboard.

You too felt the tension build deeply in your core, and it begged with reckless abandon at your dizzy mind that drew itself closer and closer into the feeling of being utterly all theirs.

In many ways, you guessed that you always had been--while it had been unspoken at the time. Now, having the two of them wholly like this under the silver sheen of the moon, the cold biting at your skin, then furiously met with your heat, you could no longer see them as the two broken souls whom you had bonded with at first. They were now everything, everything that you had wished and hoped for.

Even now that you had become much more to each other, there was nothing that could take away the closeness that you had shared with them.

“F-fuck--gonna cum--” Changbin announced while he pounded frantically. The other man rolled his hips into your mouth quicker too, seeking the same kind of release.

“Y/n?” He said with a broken breath, and you muffled out a moan to let him know that you were nearly there too.

“Oh shit, oh shit--”

Changbin grunted out, with a bit of panic to his voice, forcefully removed himself from you seconds before he spilled his white seed onto your hole, then sending it dripping down your leg.

“Oh fuck--s-sorry--” He gasped out, still jerking his cock while he pulsed.

“Bin!! What the fuck??” Hyunjin yelled out, his words quickly turned into mumbles of nonsense when you took him down as deeply as you could manage without gagging, focusing only on him even though your sex ached feeling so empty.

When he had come down after a few moments, Changbin took to fucking your walls once more with his thick fingers, not even caring that he had fucked his white warmth back into you at the same time. Meanwhile, he returned to rubbing of your sensitive flesh, trying to replace the feeling he had robbed you of.

“Cum for me baby, cum for me.”

On cue, you came in waves, shuddering over Changbin’s fingers slicked with his cum, just as your other friend released down your throat and the warm liquid painted your tongue.

His blissful moans turned into light chuckles as he milked himself into your mouth, giving you every last drop. Changbin drove you further, overstimulating you to the point where your knees nearly gave out, and you had to beg him to slow.

After each of your bodies collapsed weakly to the bed of blankets and rejected clothing, you drew the covers back up over yourselves, feeling the cold seep in once more. Both of your friends kissed perfect adoring kisses into your raw lips, tasting the both of themselves on your skin. While your thighs still stuck with your friend’s cum, it didn’t matter as much now that you had huddled up cozily into their arms.

“Bin, you asshole!!” Hyunjin jested, and flicked the other boy’s forehead. “You fucking finished before you were supposed to!!”

“What the hell was I supposed to do?? I’d already edged myself enough!!”

“You could’ve tried!!”

“Whatever, it felt fucking amazing, don’t blame me.” He added with a smug smirk, “You felt fucking amazing, y/n.”

“Did it feel good for you too, y/n?” Hyunjin gingerly asked, falling right back to his soft and adorable composure that you knew well.

“Like Bin said, it was fucking amazing.”

“So we all agree then? We won’t forget that this happened?”

You gave Hyunjin a little nod to say yes, and your group of three hugged eachother even closer. You hadn’t noticed it, but at some point, Hyunjin’s music had turned off.

“So, this means that we’re like, a thing now?” Changbin asked, playing with the drawstring to your hoodie.

You peppered Hyunjin’s forehead with a tiny kiss. “I’d like to be.”

He nuzzled into the crook of your neck and reached out for Changbin across the expanse. “Me too.”

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

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beelzegrub · 3 years

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can I request what would happen if we summon them while we're on human realm bc we missed them so much but lose so much blood in the process I don't really know I'm a sucker for these kind of things. thank youu!!

EDIT FROM FUTURE OP: This ask has been sitting in my drafts for months half finished and I finally found the motivation to finish. Anon, I’m so sorry for the wait. You’re a sweetheart ❤️ I was only able to do the three eldest though and I’m so sorry!!

Um hello??? I love this so much thank you!!! I thought it was kind of silly to go through all of that at the end of season 2 to just.... not use it so I’m excited about this!!!! (Sorry if this is too angsty my brain got super pumped about this and took off.

PS the request said “we” so I used a reader insert type of style. Hope that’s what you were looking for :)

MC Summons Their Demon, but at What cost?

Trigger warning!!!! Self harm/blood

How long had it been since you’d seen the him? Weeks? Months? Who knows. They all blended together after while. All you knew is that it had been too long. Why was this all so tedious? Solomon had promised to teach you the summoning ritual as soon as you could handle it. Why hadn’t he done so? Did he not trust you? Was he purposely keeping you away from the them? Surely you were strong enough at this point. Enough with the waiting. You wouldn’t sit around and any longer! You needed to see them. You needed to see him.

You flipped messily through book after book. Solomon had given you many to study for your apprenticeship. There had to be something about summoning in one of these!

“Hmm..”

You carefully read through the worn pages of one of the larger and dustier tomes. Something about this one called to you. You zoned out as you took in the information on the pages, following context clues until you found what you were looking for. The images drawn on the page seemed foreign and surprised you. A summoning circle? You had expected as much, but the repeated mentions of ‘sacrifice’ and ‘blood oath’ seemed ancient and outdated. You couldn’t help but notice there was no mention of sentimental possessions of the demon you were trying to summon as well. You were sure none of the brothers would suggest a summoning if it were dangerous though...

Out of options and out of patience, you gathered your courage and set up the ritual to the best of your ability. Things seemed to match the books instructions, at least. All that was left was the blood. You stepped into the middle of the circle and closed brought a sewing needle to the top of your finger. The book hadn’t specified the amount of blood needed, but it was better to start small, you reasoned. You closed your eyes and pricked it, quickly squeezing a single drop of blood into the center of the circle, and said the name of the person you had been desperate to see.

Lucifer

The day of the summoning, Lucifer had felt this nagging sense of danger from the moment he opened his eyes. He was so sure it was one of his brothers about to cause trouble for him once again.

Lucifer spent the day preparing for the worst. Had Mammon stolen something of vast importance? Did Levi buy another piece of cursed media? Surely Beel hadn’t eaten a poisonous dish??

That evening, tired from being on edge all day, he had retired to his study, hoping some music would help calm his nerves. He settled into his chair and closed his eyes.

Then came the pull.

It had been ages since he had felt a sensation like this. When was the last time someone had tried to summon him? Hundreds of years ago, it had to be. And it never felt as strong as this force pulling him now.

There had once been a cult of devil worshipers who sacrificed many of their members for a chance to pull him to the human world, quite surprised to find out their sacrifices had been in vain, considering Lucifer wasn’t interested in a bunch of worthless humans. But even then the tug hadn’t been this strong. Sure, he could still resist it, but the strength of it still left him awestruck. Who had the power to call to him like this?

“Lucifer!”

His blood ran cold. Immediately, he stopped resisting the call and gave in, allowing the summoning to take place.

You had done it. Lucifer was here! The strongest and most fearsome of the seven, and you had Summoned him to you. Your heart swelled when you though of how impressed he’d be when he found out you had done it all on your own. Would he praise you? Would he tease you? Would he tilt his head and smirk, then ask you if you had really missed him that much?

You smiled softly, looking up at him. The look on his face wasn’t one of pride. His eyebrows had furrowed and a frown creased deep into his face. Was he angry at you? No... you had seen his anger many times. This wasn’t it.

“MC....what have you done?”

He cradled you softly in his arms. Wait. When had he picked you up? You looked at your surroundings, the fear in the pit of your stomach ever growing. Where had all this blood come from? You had only pricked your finger! Lucifer’s hand touched your cheek, pulling your face back to him.

“Don’t look.”

You had no choice but to obey. You simply didn’t have the strength to move anymore.

“I’ve called for help, it’ll be just a moment, MC. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Lucifer’s voice was soft and soothing, and you felt your tired body relax into his hold.

“I did it... I brought you here... I did it...” you closed your eyes, a smile on your lips.

“MC, keep your eyes open. Look at me. MC! MC!”

Mammon

That day had started out much the same as always. Mammon, still sore from last nights punishment, groaned as he slumped into his desk at RAD. He rested his head in his arms against the desk, and glanced at the seat that used to belong to you. Obviously, you weren’t there, but it didn’t hurt to check....

“MC is still in the human world, Mammon.”

Mammon jumped and sat up straight in his seat, his cheeks red from being caught.

“I know that Belphie! I was just-just uh zonin’ out! MC’s old seat just happened to be in the same direction!” He stuttered out an excuse.

“Just call them, Mammon. I’m sure MC would be happy to hear your voice.” Oh great, now Beel’s getting involved too. He knew his brothers meant no harm, but all this talk about MC was getting him riled up!

“Fine! I will! I’ll call MC tonight! and you two AREN’T invited!” Mammon laid his head down once again, this time hiding his face, not wanting his blush to show a second time. Tonight he’d finally hear MC’s voice again. And he could blame Beel and Belphie for the call!

Come dinner time, Mammon had just about run out of patience. His head kept telling him to wait just a bit longer, but something in his heart was yelling for him to quit dragging his feet.

“I’m going to my room and NOBODY better interrupt me, ya hear?!” Mammon stumbled to his feet and started marching to his room, six pairs of eyes staring at him questioningly. He only made it a few steps when he felt it. A tug. He closed his eyes and swayed on his feet, dizzy from the force of it. This was a summoning, wasn’t it? He had felt it plenty of times from those damn witches, but something about this was different. He turned around to look his brothers again, a look of confusion on his face.

“I...think I’m bein’ summoned.”

Levi snorted and crossed his arms. “I’m sure you’re guilty of something. Better just get it over with.”

The rest of the brothers mumbled in agreement.

Except Lucifer.

Lucifer quickly pushed out his chair and hurried to Mammon. Something was wrong. A simple summoning wouldn’t have this effect on a demon of Mammon’s stature.

The pull came once again, stronger this time. Mammon winced and held his hand to his aching head. Lucifer’s hand came down to rest on his shoulder

“I don’t know how long I can resist this. Somethin’ isn’t right. Lucifer, what’s happening to me?” He looked to his brother for help, and found the rest of them had gathered around as well, a look of concern on all of their faces.

“Someone call for Diavolo and Barbatos. Mammon, hold on just a few more moments.” Lucifer commanded.

Mammon would have agreed, if not for the voice that rang out clearly in his head, calling his name.

“Mammon!”

Mammon’s eyes snapped open and stopped resisting the pull, hearing the shouts from his brothers disappear as he followed the call.

“Mammon! Mammon! Mammon Mammon Mammon! Please!” You couldn’t keep this up for much longer, you knew it. You had fallen to your knees moments after the initial call. You could feel every drop of blood flowing out of the pin prick on your finger, but you didn’t dare give up. You had come this far, and you wouldn’t give up now. Not until you had to.

But you didn’t have to. A flash of light blinded you momentarily, and when you could see again, there he was. Standing there was the Mammon. Relief flushed through your entire body, and you stopped pouring your magic into the spell. Utterly exhausted, your body came crashing forward, landing in front of his feet.

Mammon quickly slid to his knees on the ground, picking you up off the floor and resting your head in his lap.

“You....Are you okay, MC?” Mammon tried to keep his voice even and steady, not wanting to scare you, but his hands that held too tightly and his body that quivered gave him away.

“I am now.” You answered quietly, unsure if it was true. At least Mammon was here and holding you in his arms. Things would be okay as long as he was with you.

“You...You idiot! Stupid! What the heck were ya thinkin’!? Can’t you see how much blood you’ve lost? This isn’t how you’re supposed to be summoning us! I’m gonna kill that damn sorcerer!” Mammon felt his blood boil with each second that passed. How Could Solomon have allowed this?

You softly squeezed his hand, not having the energy to yell for his attention. Immediately, he stopped, looking at you questioningly.

“Solomon didn’t teach me this. He wouldn’t. But.... I just couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see you.” You answered.

He frowned deeply, more troubled with this answer. You had done all this just to see him? He felt a lump in his throat form. “I would have come to you. You didn’t have to do this.” He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes to stop any tears from escaping.

You cupped his cheek, returning the affection he so rarely showed. “S’okay. All that matters is you’re here now. I just...need....to rest....a little...” Your eyes fluttered closed, feeling at peace and calm in your love’s arms.

Panic. Once again, Mammon’s eyes snapped open. He placed his hand over yours, trying to gently coax you into opening your eyes once more.

“Not yet, you can’t yet, MC. We have to wait for help to come. Come on, wake up.” He knew his brothers would come. Someone would come. They wouldn’t let this happen to you. He wouldn’t let this happen to you. “MC!” When gentle touches didn’t work, he got rougher, shaking you and yelling, desperate to see your eyes open.

“Enough playin’ around MC! Wake up! WAKE UP, DAMMIT! Wake... Wake up...You have to..... Wake up....”

Leviathan

To say that Levi was missing his MC was like saying humans like air. Is it true? Yeah, but kind of an understatement. Humans needed air to live and breathe, and in his eyes, you were air. It’s no secret that Levi wasn’t exactly popular. One might even say it was well known that he was a dorky loner demon, if they were feeling particularly sassy. Being a loner has it’s advantages, like having more time for gaming and anime binging, but it sure is, well, a lonely once you’ve had someone to share your passions with. And once that someone is gone, their absence weighs heavy.

So yes, Levi was missing MC. So what? Everyone was missing MC. Why wouldn’t they? His MC was a ray of sunshine in a world of darkness. Ugh. That line sounder way cooler when the hero in his latest otome had said it. Of course his thoughts couldn’t sound that cool. But that’s not the point! Levi figured he had no right to complain about MC being gone, because he was just a gross, annoying, worthless otaku. He didn’t deserve to miss them. He was lucky he got to spend as much time with them as he did, really.

But nobody could blame him for thinking these thoughts, right? Thinking about how much he missed the way MC would cram themselves as close to him as possible to get a look at whatever mobile game he was playing was harmless. So was remembering all the nights they’d spent binging anime and then realizing the sun was up, smiling sheepishly at each other and promising not to stay up so late next time, even though they always did. Okay, so maybe thinking about the way they looked when they were fresh out of his shower, smelling of his soap and shampoo was less than innocent, but what was he supposed to do!? Leaning your damp head on his shoulder and curling up close to him like that! Doing things like that is bad for an otaku’s heart! You might give them hope or something...

Enough was enough! He didn’t have time to be obsessing over how much he missed MC. It was taking time away from his one and only true love. “Ruri-Chan, you’d never abandon me right? No, I know you wouldn’t. You’re not like that.” Levi began speaking to his latest figure. “Not to say MC IS like that! No, of course their not! They didn’t have a choice!” He stuttered out a quick fix to his hurtful words. He was glad they weren’t around to hear, but it still felt wrong to say. He was quiet for a minute, staring at his floor in shame. Slowly, he lifted his eyes back to the figure. “Do you think they miss me like I miss them?”

And then he felt it. It had been so long, but he knew this feeling.This was a summoning, wasn’t it?! Based on the intense tug he felt, it had to be a super powerful sorcerer or maybe a group of basic magic users? Honestly, he was flattered. Someone wanted to summon HIM? No, They must have made a mistake. Surely this summon was meant for one of his brothers.

Leviathan was so lost in his own self pity he missed the first two calls of his name. The third one, sounding so desperate and pleading, snapped him out of his funk in an instant. He knew that voice. Without hesitation he let the summon take him, and there he was. He was finally reunited with MC.

But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. When he finally saw them again, he was supposed to feel elated and whole again, not like a piece of his heart was ripped right out of his chest. But when he locked eyes with them, surrounded by blood and their eyes looking glassy, that’s exactly what he felt.

“MC! Oh no. Oh no.”

Levi. He was here. He had to be. You heard his voice and felt his presence, felt his arms circle around you and cradle you tightly against his chest. But why couldn’t you see him? And why did you feel so… empty?

“Levi? That’s you isn’t it? Why is it so dark?” Had the candles all gone out? No, even before you lit them, you remember it hadn’t been this dark. Something was wrong.

Levi inhaled shakily, holding back the sobs he desperately wanted to release. “MC, what are you talking about? I’m right here! Can’t you see me?”

Like a bolt of lighting, the realization hit you. It wasn’t dark. The candles hadn’t gone out. It was your eyes.

“No, Levi. I can’t. I can’t see you. I can’t see anything.” You shakily reach your hand up, frantically feeling around for your love’s face. Leviathan’s usual timid nature word have normally had him reeling away, but in this moment, he had no reservations as he helped guide your hand to his cheek. His lips trembled as he fought the urge to scream.

“MC…. Why would you do this? You’ve lost so much blood… and.. and your sight? I’m not worth this. I’m just a useless otaku! It isn’t fair!” His tears began to flow, the guilt of it all was ripping him apart.

You closed your eyes and smiled as you remembered the many faces of this man you had called to you. “It was worth it. I did it because I love you, Levi. I need you. After all, what good is a Henry without his lord?”

#obey me #shall we date? obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #reader insert #tw self harm #tw sewing needle prick #tw blood #this was way to long winded I overdid it

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mqgriett · 3 years

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Tech- Princess

Request: hello darling, i saw you were taking requests (it’s okay if you aren’t anymore, just disregard the rest of this) and I was wondering if you’d be able to write something for Tech? I’m absolutely starving for content surrounding him and I’d take literally any crumb you’d be willing to spare🥺 prompt/genre is totally up to you! @bandaid-bunny

Pairings: Tech x Fem!Reader

Warnings: small mention of death (very very minor, like a sentence)

Summary: you left the Jedi Order a year ago, which meant also leaving the Bad Batch. Tech’s feelings for you never faded, and neither did yours for him.

Notes: I really want to write a part 2 to this!! Please lmk if y’all would want a second part!!

Tech adjusted his tie for the fifth time, looking at himself in the reflection of the silver elevator. He licked his hand, smoothing back any stray hairs on top of his head.

“Nervous much?” Hunter muttered next to his brother.

Tech shook his head, “of course not. Why would I be?”

“Because this is the first time you’re seeing her in a whole year.” Crosshair replied, a smug smile on his face as he crossed his hands over his lap.

“And why would that make me nervous?” Tech scoffed, rolling his eyes and straightening the cuffs of his suit. The collar of his dress shirt felt increasingly tight and he pulled on, further giving his brother more of a reason to tease him.

“Last time you saw her you couldn’t talk right!” Wrecker slapped him on the back, making Tech choke on his own spit.

“That-”, cough, “is-”, another cough, “not true.” He finally caught his breath and repeated his sentence a little clearer. “That isn’t true.”

“Really?” Crosshair raised an eyebrow and turned to Hunter, who was giving Tech the same look.

Sarg intertwined his fingers, bringing his fist to the side of his face and making his voice a few octaves higher to mock Tech, “You look especially beautiful in the night time, it hides all of your imperfections. No- it highlights your imperfections. No- you have no imperfections in the night time. No- you’re perfect”

Tech crossed his arms, his cheeks glowing a shade of bright red as Hunter reenacted the scene from a year ago.

“We’re here for a surveillance operation, that’s all.” he swallowed the ball in his throat, “I might not even get the opportunity to speak with her, so I have no reason to be nervous.”

The quiet ding of the elevator reaching the top floor was his saving grace. Tech was the first one off and he automatically began to scan the crowded room for any sign of you. As Wrecker walked behind his brother he whispered, “surveillance operation.” He nodded and followed the rest of the Bad Batch, eyes still searching for any sign of you.

“Sarg, good to see you.” said Cody’s strong tone of voice, catching Tech’s attention again.

“Same to you, Commander.” Hunter replied, giving the 212th trooper a strong handshake. Cody pointed out that the Bad Batch and 212th were allowed to have fun that night, and that they were only to interfere with anything if it was a threat to the princess’s life. He pointed to the other troopers that had accompanied him that night. The majority of the 212th attack battalion dotted the ball room.

There was no sign of you after roughly twenty minutes, allowing Tech to ease up a little bit. Crosshair returned from the bar, standing next to his brother and handing him a medium sized glass with a small amount of black liquid. Although he wasn’t much of a drinker, Tech downed the shot within seconds of having it in his grasp.

***

“Nervous much?” Padme asked, watching from the corner of your room as you adjusted the front of your corset for the fifth time.

You ignored her snarky comment, continuing to speak your thoughts out loud, “Out of all the squadrons he could have asked, of course he chooses 99.”

“You’re going to smudge your makeup if you keep pacing and sweating like that.” she replied, walking to your side. “And, who knows? Maybe he’s not here.”

“Hunt- The Sergeant, doesn’t go anywhere without him. He’s here.” you answered, taking a loud breath in to calm yourself. “It’s been at least a year. Last time I saw him I was allowed to go on missions and hold a weapon that’s bigger than my palm.”

You reached behind yourself and started to undo the corset, “Now I need to go and sit in meetings, sit like a lady, smile and nod, and be pretty. That’s all… Could you re-tie this for me? The seamstress made it so I couldn’t breathe.” You motioned to the strings of the corset.

“How about you wear that blue dress, you liked that one.” Padme suggested, trying her best to get you into a better mood.

You sighed, “alright.”

As you walked back to your closet, Padme spoke behind you, “if you look on the bright side, attachments are no longer forbidden for you.”

It genuinely made both of you laugh, lifting your spirits a little as you unhooked the blue dress from its hanger. “maybe embrace that he’s here. You no longer need to follow the code, make the best of it.”

She was right, the Jedi code no longer applied to you.

About a year ago, when your sister had passed, it left you to take the throne of Alderaan as Princess. Your father, Bail Organa, was a senator and your mother, Breha Organa, was Queen. Someone needed to help her govern the planet, which led to you leaving the Jedi order and fulfill your duties as the only living legacy of your parents.

It was a difficult decision to make, and tonight would lock it in. The majority of Senators were here, including a few other monarchs. Last time you had seen the bulk of them you were still a Jedi Knight, now you were Princess of Alderaan.

This party was risky to throw, but it had already been postponed many times before. There was a small window to celebrate the new princess, which is no-doubt why the Bad Batch was called in. Majority of the troopers were on missions, and if the party was to be short on guards then it needed the strongest battalion available, Clone Force 99.

It was already twenty minutes into the celebration, and you had five minutes prepare to see them again. Last time you five were together it was a special operations mission, you were a Jedi and they were your designated clone battalion. Now you were tasked with pretending to be someone else, a princess.

You tugged your dress on and allowed Padme to lace the back up, it was time.

***

A loud sound of trumpets echoed through the room, quickly drawing everyone’s attention. The lights dimmed everywhere except the grand balcony with a staircase leading down to the main floor.

Tech followed the voice of the announcer, who seemed to be invisible among the huge crowd. “It is with great pleasure that I welcome the Queen and the new Princess of Alderaan.” he said obstreperously.

Queen Breha walked with grace down the steps, waving as she descended.

Next came the princess, her gold-accented, sleek, pastel blue dress shining in the light beautiful. Tech’s heart raced as he saw you, his glass slipping from his grip. He had nearly forgotten how beautiful you were, and the way you quickly walked down each stair nearly made him faint. The expensive glassware would have broken if it weren’t for Hunter’s quick reflexes.

The only other time he had witnessed the sight of you in a dress was during an undercover op, other than that you were frequently in your robes. Maker, you were breathtaking in that gown. He was going mad and you were still across the room.

You turned over your shoulder, automatically scanning the crowd for any signs of the Bad Batch. It seemed that every free moment you had was interrupted by a Senator or distant relative congratulating you on your new status. So, you smiled and made small talk, a tiny headache beginning to creep up on you.

As you thanked Senator Clovis for coming, a strong hand touched the small of your back. “Need a break?” Hunter asked behind you.

In that moment you could have cried at the sound of his voice. You were so overwhelmed and tired, wanting to collapse every time you needed to start a new conversation with someone. As you turned, you straightened your back, “Sergeant.” You gave him a curt nod, “Thank you for coming on such short notice.”

Hunter raised his eyebrow, waiting a moment before hooking his arm within your own. “Since when do you call me Sergeant?” he mused, beginning to lead you over to the edge of the ballroom.

You were well out of earshot of anyone important now, and your whole demeanor changed. You let out a breath of air and slouched, letting your legs rest a shoulder-width apart. “You have no clue how happy I am to see you.”

“Right back at you Command- Princess.” he said, letting go of your arm.

“Don’t call me that, for maker’s sake.” you pleaded, your tone genuinely sad.

He smirked, “not your thing, huh?”

You shook your head, “where’s the rest of the boys?”

“Wrecker spilled that Corellian wine on his shirt, Tech and Cross are helping him get cleaned off.” he responded with a shrug, as if it was a regular thing; on that thought, it was.

Your heart fluttered, “Tech’s here?”

Hunter chuckled deeply, combing his hair back, “he is. Why?”

You pursed your lips while narrowing your eyes, “just curious.”

Before Sarg could tease you any further, the large gold door to the men’s bathroom opened and the other three Bad Batchers stumbled back inside the room. You instinctively looked over your shoulder, your gaze catching Tech’s.

You both froze, trapped in each other's presence. He smiled, eyes sparkling in the faint light of the ballroom.

The group of three made their way to Hunter and you, Wrecker with a huge grin on his face.

Crosshair performed a dramatic bow, “m’lady.” he slid his hands into his pockets, a smug smirk on his face as he greeted you.

“I hate you,” You teased, shaking your head the smallest bit to show you disapproval.

“Hi Princess.” Wrecker didn’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug, but he soon let go once realizing that he was possibly transferring the wine stain onto your dress.

Tech wrapped his arms around your waist and whispered, “you look nice.”

You rested your chin on his shoulder, “back at you.”

Crosshair interjected, “you got something on your dress.” he twirled his long finger towards your abdomen.

Wrecker had accidentally transferred some wine on your gown. You frowned, knowing that you now had to change dresses. “Kriff,” you mumbled, secretly slightly relieved that you got to leave for a few minutes, “I’ll be back. If anyone asks, just say I’m touching up my makeup.”

As you took a step forward, Padme’s words seemed to echo in your mind. Maybe embrace that he’s here. You no longer need to follow the code, make the best of it.

You smiled, “Tech would you mind coming along? I’m not supposed to leave the room without another person.”

He looked slightly surprised at your offer, but after tripping over a few words he nodded and followed.

Tech took a deep breath once you two were alone, clenching and relaxing his fists to ease a bit of his nerves, “I missed you, we all did. Missions aren’t as fun without you.”

You grinned, “I missed you too. Everything goes by slower nowadays.”

“You don’t enjoy your new life?” He asked, eyebrows creasing to form a concerned expression. He looked around at all the gold accented treasures hidden among the castle.

“There’s no excitement. Every day is just a repeat of the last.” The elevator doors opened and you both stepped inside.

They slid shut, officially making it just the two of you. “Do you miss the Order?”

You shook your head, “Not as much as I thought I would, but I miss the adventures. I miss you.” you said the last piece quietly, hoping he didn’t hear.

But since it was Tech, and he was the most attentive person you knew, he heard. He turned to look at you, making deep eye contact, “I miss you too. Co-piloting with Crosshair isn’t as fun as it was with you. I’m not as good at calming Wrecker down as you were.”

You arrived at your floor, the doors opening again and both of you walking out. There was an awkward silence surrounding the two of you now, both wanting to say the same thing.

As you stepped foot in your room, the energy shifted a little. You motioned for Tech to make himself comfortable and made your way to the closet.

He sat at the foot of your huge bed, admiring how well-decorated it was. He turned to look at the wall his back faced, eyes wandering to your nightstand. In the middle stood a framed photograph. It was a picture that Wrecker had taken after a rough mission. You and Tech were both asleep, your head on his lap and his hand draped over your waist. He sighed and called out to you, “You know I’ve always loved you, right?”

You froze, barely finishing at pulling the peach-colored dress over your head when his voice reached your ears. By the time you had turned around, Tech was standing in the doorway of your closet.

No more Jedi Code.

You walked to him, placing a gentle hand against his cheek and kissing him. He grabbed your hand and held it, leaning forward to deepen the kiss. He had waited too long for this to end quickly, and you felt the same.

#tech x reader #badbatchxreader #clone trooper tech #clone trooper crosshair #clone trooper hunter #clone trooper wrecker #bad batch #clone force 99

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elionwriter · 3 years

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MY FAV STAR WARS COUPLE DYNAMICS:

(for the sake of this post let's all just pretend no one dies, ok?)

Anakin - Padme: their relationship started with pure drama and really bad, corny pick up lines and it just goes on that way. Even when they are happily exiled on Naboo with their children and everyone knows about them, whenever they talk about their love or tell the story to Luke and Leia it's always with the tones of a 'larger than life situation'. Obviously Anakin is the drama queen who really pushes it (and is still salty he had to give up his title as Jedi Master) but Padme fell for him when he did the whole whiny speech about sand and married him, she secretly supports this s***t! 😝

Han - Leia: bickering is their love language. Screaming to impose supremacy is their flirting. The thing is, they never bicker for serious stuff, because they actually agree on what matters and get along as a couple, it's the principle of things! Sometimes a friend of Ben overhears them and goes 😱 "I'm really sorry for intruding on this, pal. Will your parents be alright?" And Ben with the calmest expression will answer "They literally do this all the time". It's the silence that's worriesome. When Leia is just too tired to keep fighting after hours of doing so with politicians, when Han doesn't bother to stay to face the argument and just hops on the Falcon again, THAT'S when they realise they are falling out. So they push duty and lust for adventure aside to go back spending quality time together and patching things up. Sure enough, the bickering starts again and Ben is like "😌 aaah everything is fine again".

Din - Luke: they are the picture perfect couple. They literally never argue, at best they poke eachother when one of the two does something the other doesn't entirely agree on. They have each other's back in any instance, support every choice and are there for backup when others want a fight or have something to say either on Din's leadership or Luke's approach to the Jedi code and teachings. It took them forever to actually get together because they acted like shy teenagers on their first crush and Leia, Han and Cara had to practically push them into each other's arms, but once they got there they were solid a couple as a rock. Others look at them and think they are either disgustingly mushy or still in a 'honeymoon face', because NO ONE has such a stress-free marriage. Din and Luke truly don't get what the fuss and all the drama's about. So even though they end up practically parenting the space version of the kids from 'Cheaper by the dozen' they act like parental figures to their friends as well. Life as Manda'lor and the Reviver of the Jedi order can be hell, but together they are just balanced like that and can face everything! They even create a new co-op fighting style for Jedi/Mandalorians that becomes the terror and amazement of the Galaxy for centuries to come!😌😏💪

Kannan - Hera: very similar to Dinluke except they do at times have some small moments of tension because Hera is a fighter to the core and Kannan can't help but wonder if the battle will ever truly end. But his queen's passion and resolve is so bright and steeled that he can't help but fall in love a little more every time and follow, knowing it's the right thing to do. They have an example to set for their son, after all. Kannan will absolutely love Jacen and will introduce Ezra to his son (once Sabine and Ashoka bring him back) as his older brother. Much like when he trained Ezra or faced Sabine, Kannan will sometimes doubt himself and wonder if he's acting like a good parent to Jacen. Hera will smile and reassure him, describing to him the bright and happy smile on their son's face or how Jecen's nose scrunches and his long, greenish ears wiggle in delight whenever Kannan plays with him or cuddles him. As Hera says so, Kannan holds her and feels like he can actually see it too.

Sabine - Ezra: After Ezra is brought back to his family from wherever or whatever happened to him after facing Thrawn, both of them will just indulge in sudden hugs or touches to make sure the other is actually there. Of course, they first think of their bond as a solid friendship and camaraderie, because that's what it was when they left off. The extra touching is just the response to being apart for so long and being worried for each other. But then Sabine notices that Ezra actually looks really good with long hair and the scruffy beard he grew out. She catches herself thinking of how warm and safe if feels in his arms and mentally kicks herself because she's a Mandalorian, all she should need is a loaded blaster to feel safe. Ezra, on the other hand, starts playing with Sabine's hair when complimenting her new dye and suddenly finds himself cupping her face like it's the most natural thing in the world. Long story short, they fall for eachother hard and become the prototype of the couple "my boyfriend/girlfriend is my best friend". When they are comfortable with their new status, Ezra goes back flirting dorkishly with her like he did all those years back when they first met and Sabine will tease him by shooting his advances down.

Ashoka - Bo Katan: joke's on Bo-katan for cringing back in the day at her sister's relationship with a Jedi. She thought destiny or the force or whatever was really messing with her when she realized that her rival and pupil, Din Djarin, the new leader of Mandalorians was also falling helplessly in love with a Jedi (Obi-Wan's student nonetheless). When she hears Sabine Wren and her Jedi boy also got together she stops questioning it. The thing is that she herself has been inexplicably, undeniably charmed and hooked to a Jedi for years now. The very same Jedi she had teased didn't have enough booty, what felt like a lifetime prior. But she's Bo-Katan, she can be in angry denial about anything. Ashoka, on the other hand, has seen and has been conditioned too much on what attachment does to a Jedi, even if she doesn't consider herself one anymore. So, even if the chemistry between them and the long lingering stares are real, their love is always kept a quiet, unspoken thing. Whenever they call eachother "my old friend" they know they actually mean more, but leave it at that. Everyone around them can't help wondering 'are they a thing or...?!' but they never feed the theories and gossip. They know what they are and mean for each other when they are alone in the same room, talking about the past or what must be done in the future and Ashoka's mere presence is enough to cool down the ever-present burning rage inside of Bo. Meanwhile, the other can't help but admire how single minded and devoted to her people and culture the Mandalorian princess is, how she never gave up on them, despite everything. They smile softly at each other, then one of them breaks the spell by leaving. They go back to their own business and life untill destiny or the force or whatever brings them back into eachother's orbit.

Revan - Carth: normally they act very much like Leia and Han with the bickering and teasing bit but then Revan has one of her memories returning or is haunted by how she basically condemned her lifelong best friend Malak to a terrible death and Carth instantly does a 180° shift becoming the most caring, comforting and tender partner. She'll hide into his chest until the crisis in over. Sometimes it can go on for days and Revan is oh, so grateful of how patient and good Carth is to her. Then, at times, Carth is the one burying his head in her chest and she's the one doing the tender, hair strokes. Carth needs a lot of reassuring and might get upset and fret over even what appears to be a trivial thing. He's trying to heal and get better but the long, long years of solitude, hurt and paranoia are hard to iron down. Expecially when Carth seems to have an instinct that puts a Jedi to shame, foreseeing a crisis neither she nor Bastila had picked up. But he is making an effort to improve and she's proud of him, even as he tries very clumsily to patch things up with his son Dustil. She doesn't really step in that matter more than she has to, since Dustil is clearly not happy nor comfortable with the idea of them being together yet. Carth will sometimes open his heart to her and say something deeply meaningful on how he wants her to stay ( when she looks particularly haunted and about to leave without a work of warning) and be happy but does so with such awkward word choices that Revan just cannot refrain from laughing at his face and making puns. It's at this point that the back and forth teasing resumes. There is no denying they are still deeply wounded individuals and they are at their best when their friends are there to lighten the mood and show love to the both of them. Because they could easily go down the path of drama like Anakin and Padme but they choose the Ebon Hawk crew shenanigans instead.

Obi Wan - Satine: their love is stored in the memory of that glorious time they spent together in their youth. A moment in which no responsibility or sense of honor could keep them from giving in to that feeling of want and need for each other. It's a love that never truly went away, never left space for anyone else, but it never fully grew and bloomed either. So years down the line, that's what it is for Obi-Wan, a pleasant memory. He would never change how things went afterwards, but he wouldn't give up those memories and feelings for anything in the world. Satine feels the same, mostly. There are nights that she falls asleep wondering what could have been if only she had talked up at the decisive moment and dreams of a life spent together with Obi-Wan. But when she wakes up, she sobers up and goes back to her things. It's when she looks at her Korkie smile and notices how resembling to his secret father he is that she is truly at peace. She managed to keep a peace of Obi-Wan in her life.

Cal - Merrin: I have no idea for this one, but just stop and consider the possible 'nightsisters babies' though! Wouldn't they be the cutest things ever?! 😀

Sorry Cara Dune, you just haven't met the woman of your life yet. 😔

Also, I kinda like Zeb and Callus too but I don't really ship them enough to add them here, you know? Anyway I'm sure they make a lovely couple.

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lochnessies · 3 years

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ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

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wyn-n-tonic · 3 years

Text

Golden, Like Daylight -- Part IV

Word Count: 1,925 Warnings: PTSD. Drug use. Ben Affleck. Panic attacks. Bullet wounds. Smut (not explicit but it's there). A/N: Your kind words mean literally everything to me and I have been sobbing between the warmth shown to me over this series and also how much I love Francisco Morales and want the absolute best for him.

MASTERLIST | PART: I | II | III | IV | V | VI | VII | VIII | IX

Gif by: @uuuhshiny

Luna hasn’t stopped wailing since Sunday, the one and only day Frankie said he wouldn’t be able to call.

It’s Thursday and both their lungs are close to giving out.

One Morales woman hyperventilating herself into fitful sleeps, the other only sobbing through held breaths in stolen lonely moments of peace and quiet.

Kristyn had taken up residence in the spare room, making sure Leah slept and ate. She was the one who cashed in Leah’s sick days with the school, forging a bullshit sick note when she went into work.

Leah is currently distraught because her husband might be dead in South America, we don’t know.

That’s what the first one said, dashed out on the keyboard in a petty moment of frustration. She might be the only one of Leah’s sisters who didn't want to lob his fucking head off every time she shed a tear but it didn’t mean she never wanted to do it.

Patient is suffering from a prolonged migraine and intensive nausea. Follow up appointment scheduled for next Thursday at 9am.

That should fucking do it but she’ll have to start checking off the vacation days soon. Dip into family leave for Luna.

Alexa held her on that first Monday, talking her through the panic in a puddle of spilled coffee. The paper cup splashing across their knees in the hallway as concern emanated from the AP Lit room at their backs.

Somewhere at the base of the Andes, her husband was being pried out of a crashed helicopter by the only other men she’d ever truly loved. William was shot, Benny was reckless. She felt it all in her body as she was driven home, helped into the shower, held in her bed but not by the arms she craved.

“He's coming home,” Deana brought dinner that night, her big sister cutting into her steak like she was a child at risk of choking again, “he will do anything he can to make sure of that.”

“What if he doesn’t, D?” Leah’s taken on the stare, everything and nothing all at once, “what if he doesn’t come home this time?”

“I promise you, Lee, okay?” She reaches out to push aside hair damp with tears, “I've never seen a man so in love.”

“Yeah…” she’s quiet, “he promised me too.”

And she told him to stop making promises because he doesn’t keep them.

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

The tears well over her eyes, spilling onto already salt stained cheeks.

He made love to her like it was the last time he would ever see her, the last chance he would ever get. He poured his entire being into her, drunk off the feel of their bodies together. She could feel him in the hollow of her ribs, an aching that called out for the comfort of his beating heart against hers again.

Would that be so bad?

She sobbed out, startling Luna’s own ragged cries again, afraid that she would never know warmth against her cold hands again.

—————

“Hey,” they're huddled against the onslaught beneath a barely-there cliff, labored breathing in tandem, “you still with me?”

Frankie’s panic attack came on slowly, a rolling storm in the distance the moment the helo crashed in the valley.

Bad landing.

His fight or flight response has his lungs in a vice grip but he still manages a laugh, “I think I should be the one asking you that.”

“You know it’s gonna take a lot more than a stray bullet to fuck me off,” he’s smiling but Frankie knows how much blood he’s lost, how long it takes for a wound like that to clot without medical intervention.

It’s true, it’ll take a lot more than a stray bullet to take William Miller but that was before, when they had back up. Out here, though? Surrounded by his brothers in arms? Having done what he just did?

Francisco Morales has never felt more alone.

“Fish,” William hits his knee against his, “where are you?”

His eyes refocus on the tepid water pounding all around him, the world coming back as he takes a deep breath, “are you afraid, Will?”

“You gotta be more specific, Frank, I’m terrified of everything.”

He’s quiet when he speaks, “me too,” barely above the downpour.

He sees Will nod in his peripheral, “I know.”

“Will, I’m afraid I’ll never see them again,” and when he chokes, he realizes he’s been crying.

“No, you can’t think like that.”

“I know, but I can’t stop it either, like…” trailing off, he lifts his face to the pressure of the water; it’s the sweetest thing he’s felt in days, “what if this is the last shower I ever take?”

“Fish…” Will reaches for him but he’s cut short.

“No, listen to me. If anything happens to me out he—“

“Nothing is going to fucking hap—"

“Shut up and let me finish,” his rage and sadness is burning hot through him, it takes everything within his being not to choke on air as he speaks again. “If anything happens to me out here, Will, take care of my girls. Please.”

The blond nods his head, heavy with exhaustion and pain, “until the very end of my life, Frankie.”

The relief that spreads through his body is better than any drug he ever tried, he feels himself slipping into an upright sleep, his heart at peace for the first time since he left his bed.

“But,” Will’s voice catches him on the edge of consciousness, “I would also face down the end of my life to make sure you see them again, do you understand me? If the only thing standing between you and a bullet is me, don’t fight. Leave me there and run like hell. You’re going back to your family.”

“But if I don’t make it…”

“Fish,” Will's laugh is drenched in the space between them, “are you saying it’s your last will and testament for me to marry your wife?”

“Fuck off,” his words are clipped, strained, “and don’t call me Fish.”

—————

They still, eyes up to the screen of the baby monitor as they hold their breath for another sound from Luna’s room. The baby settles back into silence, her small chest rising and falling on the grainy feed.

He remembers Leah opening the military grade surveillance equipment at the baby shower, the shake of her laughter as she held onto Benny’s shoulder to anchor herself to the chair.

“Should we check on her?” It’s small, a rushed question of a concerned mother.

“I said a baby monitor, Benjamin, not a prison security camera.”

“Absolutely not,” Ben grabs her hand, “This is better than any of that shit you’ll find at Target. Video means there’s no wondering either, you can just look up and assess the situation, more rest. That’s important, you’ll need to savor the little that you get.”

He pushes a lock of hair from her face, damp with the tears of the day and the sweat of the night, “no, baby, we don’t want to disturb her.”

“Yeah,” Will chimes in, his beer bottle held loosely in his hands, “Frankie should’ve been training you on sleep deprivation this whole time, you’re spec ops yourself now.”

“But what if she wakes up?”

“Well…” the corner of his mouth lifts to close the fan at the corner of his eyes, “it’s a good thing she can’t see us through that thing, right?”

“Francisc—“ the irritation of his name is finished in a heady moan lured from her body by another slow drag of his hips.

The crook of his nose slots against hers as he finds her lips again, the warmth of the room around them is nothing compared to their mouths on each other. Bathing in shared heat, her fingers entwine into the curls at the crown of his head, the other hand palm up to his chest. And as the beating of his heart races towards her burning touch, he submerges himself once again.

His firm grip holds the hinge in her leg, fingers digging into the sensitive skin that fills her lungs with fits of laughter and light. He braces himself against the bed, the aching in his forearm dulled by the soft, breathless whimpers intoxicating his entire being.

His voice is washed out when he finds it, “mi sol,” lips dragging across her own, “mis estrellas.”

Her eyes find his, heavy with admiration and trust. “Francisco,” she is drunk and drowning in the love of this man, “finish me.”

He shifts to cradle her jaw and as he trails his other hand up her thigh, he sinks within her once more. Finding his release against her own, he is convinced they’ll never be able to fully untangle again.

He presses a kiss to her nose.

My sun.

Her forehead.

My stars.

Her lips.

My whole sky.

—————

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

He snaps back to reality, Santi and Tom’s voices echoing all around them.

His head is hot, he’s pushing past Will with concern set so deeply in his eyes he fears he’ll break right there.

Would that be so bad?

“Fucking bullshit!” Tom’s face is red, Santi having finally said what all of them are thinking.

He feels the weight of Leah in every fiber of his being, slotted perfectly against his body.

“We're all on the hook for this, are we not?”

I should’ve said no.

“God damn this fucking horse! Stop it!”

All those years blinded by loyalty to authority, Frankie never talked back to his leader but the man in front of him isn’t a leader. He’s a whiny child who’s lost his toys and Frankie hates him.

Biting back what he wants to say, he holds his hand up in a show of camaraderie, “Relax.” His finger quirks up as if he’s scolding a tantrum, “Relax. We’re not picking at the fucking scab right now, okay?”

Tom stares him down, like he’s weighing an argument against him too but Frankie’s done. He meets the taller man’s gaze, this man he would’ve died for.

“One foot in front of the other. Come on.”

This man he almost has died for.

“Let's go. Jesus fucking Christ.”

His true allegiances don’t lie to this man anymore or the gun at his hip. Not the money or the mules. He left that splintered fantasy about twenty feet back.

He’d throw this man over if it meant going home right now.

The money too.

None of it is worth a goddamn thing to him if it means he’ll never see the way that the light bounces off the gold in Leah Morales’ eyes ever again.

The same honeyed flakes in the brown of his daughter’s bright gaze.

I think you put a baby in me, Francisco Morales.

He made love to her like it was the last time he would ever see her, the last chance he would ever get. He wanted to pour his entire being into that woman, ensure that he would live on if lost to the Colombian jungle off a narco's bullet.

Would that be so bad?

He was scared but, truly, would it be so bad?

But it would be because he could truly leave her with nothing. No money, no husband, no father to her babies.

He lost count of the days he hadn’t called.

He makes his way up the mountain, following Tom’s bitching, wishing it was Leah leading him home instead.

#i believe in francisco morales supremacy #frankie morales #francisco 'catfish' morales #francisco morales #triple frontier #fanfic #fanfiction #santiago 'pope' garcia #santiago garcia #william 'ironhead' miller #benny miller #pedro pascal #ofc #oc #original female character #original character

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stitch1830 · 3 years

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Reassurance

Happy Kantoph Mondangst! These titles may be getting worse, but hopefully the chapters aren't... time will tell ope. Despite the angst, I hope you enjoy :)

......

“Are you up?”

His form shifted in the bed as he lazily turned to face her. She could hear the tiredness in his breath that indicated that no, he wasn’t up, but even if she didn’t perceive that, she would’ve known he was lying when he replied, “Yeah, what’s up?”

A gentle hand rubbed her arm in an attempt to comfort her, and the combination of his casual fib and sleepy gesture of comfort made Toph smile just a bit. But even then, she couldn’t ignore the unsettling feeling that sat in the pit of her stomach and made her toss and turn for the past few nights.

When she didn’t answer right away, he called out again, his tired state wearing off. “Toph? Is everything okay?”

“Yes,” she quickly reassured, but then bit her lip. Technically, things were okay, but she still felt uneasy. “Well, maybe? I don’t know…”

Kanto’s hand instinctively went to her stomach, coincidentally landing precisely where the baby was kicking. His thumb swiped across her belly, calming down the baby’s activity temporarily, and Toph let out a sigh that was a combination of exhaustion and relief and apprehension. Her hand fell on top of his, and she found the words to describe her thoughts. Well, some of them.

“I’m… I’m just worried, I guess,” she confessed.

“About the baby?”

“Yeah. Well, not the baby specifically. I’m worried about me.”

“Are you worried about the pain—”

“No, no. I mean, I’m not looking forward to it, but... fucking spirits,” Toph muttered. She wasn’t exactly describing her fears in the most coherent fashion, and she was losing the courage to admit what was on her mind.

“Toph,” he whispered, and his voice gave her focus. “You can tell me whatever you want, but only if you want to, okay?”

Toph took a deep breath as she calmed her nerves and felt the rhythmic motion of his thumb across her stomach. He grounded her like the earth, his touch and voice never failed to bring her back to reality. And everyday she thanked the spirits or whoever she needed to thank that fate brought them together.

Courage and actual words found her once again, and she pressed her forehead to his and confessed her fear. “I’m still worried about being a mom.”

Kanto said nothing, but waited for Toph to continue, so she did. “I know we’ve talked about this, but the baby is due any day now, and I just… I still feel like I’m not ready for this. I have no motherly bone in my body, I’ve never even thought about becoming a mother.

“And then the fact that my upbringing was pretty shit? Not the best references. All I know are piss poor parenting techniques.

“And if our kid hates us because of me, I… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

His hand moved to wipe away her tears (when did she start crying?), then settled back to her belly, their fingers intertwined this time. He said nothing for a while, and part of Toph cynically thought that perhaps he felt the same way. She prompted him to speak. “Is this your way of saying you agree?” she asked in an attempt to lighten her own mood.

“I wish…” Kanto paused; it was his turn to find the right words. “I wish you could see that you already are an amazing mother.”

Toph blinked, confused. He continued, “Everything you do is for our baby, and even your fears are all because you are worried about their wellbeing and happiness. That tells me everything about the kind of mother you will be. Selfless, thoughtful, loving…

“You could do motherhood in your sleep and by yourself, Toph. That’s how great you’ll be. But you don’t have to do it alone. You’ve got me, and we’ve got your friends.

“I know we won’t be perfect parents, but we have each other to lean on, and if you’re ever worried about anything, I’ll be there.

“And like I’ve told you before, my fatherly intuition says that we’re having a girl that will be just like you, and I couldn’t be more excited about that. I know all your tricks, Chief.”

His teasing remark got a scoff out of Toph, and she removed her hand from his to give him a light shove on the chest. Kanto’s hand captured hers again immediately after, and they laughed as he kissed it.

But everything else that he said, it felt reassuring. Not just in the moment, but as Toph thought through their future as parents, Kanto’s words gave her hope. He was right. Technically, they could be okay parents alone, but together, they would be amazing. And they’d lean on each other not because one would be a better parent than the other and needed help, but they wanted it.

That made all the difference.

Before she could even thank him for talking with her in the middle of the night, he smothered her with kisses all over her face until she was in a fit of laughter. And when she caught her breath, his warm hands found her round belly and so did his lips. He kissed her stomach lightly and spoke to their baby in a mock whispered tone. “Hey baby badgermole, I’ve got a secret for ya.

“Your Mama and I can’t wait to meet you, but there’s something you should know about Mama…

“She’s the Greatest Earthbender in the World, but she’s also the Greatest Mama in the World. She’s always gonna love you and protect you, just like I will.

“I thought you should know how amazing your Mama is before you meet her. And I don’t have a doubt in my mind that you’re gonna be just like her.”

He gave another loving kiss to the baby and hummed a goodnight to them before he made his way back to Toph. Once he settled back in bed, Toph inched her way as close to him as she could, burying her head in his chest and finding comfort in his warm embrace. His chest hummed in content as sleep found them again.

She remembered hearing him whisper right before she soundly slept, filling her with the reassurance that everything would be okay.

“You’re gonna be an amazing mom, Toph. I just know it.”

~~~

“I’m a terrible mother, Zuko.”

The Fire Lord shifted in his seat, startled by the bold statement and waited for an explanation. As he silently stared at her, he took in the beautiful surroundings before their focus turned to the morose topic that lingered over them.

It was a beautiful day in the Fire Nation, one of the first warm days of the season. The Beifongs traveled to the Fire Nation for a bit of a reprieve from Republic City. With the change in season, Zuko and Toph took advantage of the weather by sitting in one of the palace gardens with the children. Zuko watched as Lin clumsily ran around in the grass after Izumi while Kya coaxed the turtleducks to the edge of the pond.

They didn’t have a care in the world, not yet, at least, and Zuko naively hoped they never would.

Toph exhaled deeply, disrupting his observations. “I’m letting her down, I know it.”

Zuko furrowed his eyebrows. “What makes you say that, Toph?”

“I just—” she hesitated. Time made her more closed off, and it always took her a moment longer to admit more feelings.

But Zuko was patient, and he knew if he waited long enough, she’d open up.

Toph took another labored breath. “She’s looking for him. Everywhere we go. She wants him, not me. Which, I get, because I’d want him instead of me, too. If that wasn’t hard enough, everything she does reminds me of him.

“And I can’t stand it. I can barely hold her or take care of her because every other word she says is ‘Dada’ and I nearly break down when he’s mentioned. What kind of mother can’t even take care of her kid without wishing her dead boyfriend was around instead? What does that say about me?!”

He glanced over at Lin, who was crouching down to the ground with her cousins and gently patting the shell of a baby turtleduck. She seemed happy, content. Even if her mother was struggling.

“You’ve just had to deal with a lot right now, no one expects you to be perfect, Toph,” he reassured her. “Lin’s okay, she’ll be okay.”

“She won’t be okay if her mom keeps sulking around like this. Sure, maybe it’s fine now while she’s a baby, but she’s gonna grow up, and she’s gonna think I hate her.”

“No she won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

Zuko said nothing, and Toph cynically chuckled. “He said she’d be just like me, but I can only see his traits in her. She’s got his heart, the noises she makes when she sleeps are his, and her hands are his. And I just know she’s gonna have his laugh, and it’s gonna break me.”

“Toph—”

“He said I could do this in my sleep,” she interrupted as she rubbed her eyes. “That I would be a great mom on my own if I had to, but he was wrong.

“He should be here, he’d be better at this than me.”

“Toph,” Zuko began again, “he’s only been gone a year. We’re here to help so you both can heal. Please don’t think you’re alone in this with him gone. You’ve talked with Aang, but have you talked with Katara at all about how you feel? I can interrupt her meeting if—”

“No, your lives shouldn’t change because mine did,” she interrupted.

“Our lives don’t have to change dramatically, but you also shouldn’t think that this is all your weight to carry.”

“But it is,” she insisted, her voice raising with every word she said. “Lin is my kid, I lost my partner, I have to raise her alone, even if I can’t.”

A heavy silence fell between the two friends. All they could hear were the sounds of children giggling and turtleducks quacking.

It pained Zuko to see Toph like this. She was trying to be so strong for Lin, and she was strong. Her ability to persevere was unlike any he had seen. Toph went to work, searched for Kanto’s killer, stayed in touch with her friends and kept them up to date on her feelings, and raised Lin. And she was raising Lin well, amazing even, considering all that they had been through.

He just wished she would see that as well.

But that was a tough sell to convince Toph that she was doing amazing in spite of everything. No matter how many ways he spun it, Zuko’s words didn’t reassure Toph; it seemed that no one’s words of encouragement comforted Toph anymore.

Lin approached Toph, and their conversation ended as abruptly as it began. Zuko watched as Toph picked up Lin without hesitation, a hint of a smile grew as the toddler rambled on about her day with the turtleducks. In between the story, Toph’s head leaned in toward Zuko, and she quietly suggested, “Think it’s time for a snack.”

So they left to grab an afternoon snack, and Zuko’s eyes never strayed from Toph and Lin, not even when Kya and Izumi asked to run ahead. He just couldn’t shake his vision away from them as he saw the adoration Lin had for Toph, and the love and anguish in Toph’s eyes as she listened to her daughter chat. Zuko could visibly see Toph’s strength and perseverance as she walked into the palace, and yet, she remained unconvinced of her capabilities. The Fire Lord sighed, wishing he knew how to help Toph, what to say. But not many could reassure Toph. Well, Kanto did. He knew all the right things to say to calm her, to give her strength.

Who could she lean on for that now that he was gone?

Zuko didn’t know the answer.

#kantoph #toph #toph beifong #kanto #zuko #lin #lin beifong #kya ii #izumi #atla #lok #writing #the long winding road to you #like a boomerang i always come back to you series #the chief and dep series

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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 07 part two

(Masterpost)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Lantern Lighting

Now we have the famous lantern scene, where everybody gets to express their character and have dates, ranging from disastrous to delightful, with the objects of their affection.

Wei Wuxian continues to be ridiculously good at drawing.

We’ve all seen Lan Wangji’s lovely first smile in the show a million times, so...let’s look at it again!

This scene is important not just because of the smile, but because there’s a distinct shift in the way they talk about their growing relationship. In the pond, it was “come visit me” and “never!” “I want to be your friend” “No need.” Basically Lan Wangji firmly saying no to Wei Wuxian’s offers of friendship.

This time, Wei Wuxian says “let’s do this together” and Lan Wangji says “I’m used to being alone,” which is not actually a No, just an explanation. And WWX says, you can change that. And then Lan Wangji DOES change it, sharing the lantern and the promise with Wei Wuxian.

Whoever painted this flower is even better than Wei Wuxian at plein air painting.

(more after the cut!)

Everybody’s wishes

Nie Huasang makes a practical wish. Wen Qing prays for her brother and Jiang Cheng notices how she’s like Yanli. Jiang Cheng isn’t very intense about Wen Qing, which could be a sign of his shyness but could also be a sign of his gayness or aceness. After all, later in life he’s an apparently wealthy clan leader who is hot as fuck, and needs an heir, since his nephew is a Jin. But he’s still not married, 16 years after breaking up with and uh, helping to kill and cremate, the girl he liked in summer school.

The Promise We Made Together

Wei Wuxian makes an ultra-idealistic wish/promise while Lan Wangji watches and falls the rest of the way in love with him, and silently makes the same pledge inside his head. Later they will each refer to this as a promise they made together, which is a really super high level of face-reading by Wei Wuxian, to understand that he really is speaking for both of them here. While making this promise, Lan Wangji brings out his Yin Iron Magic Bag and waves it around in front of everyone, but nobody notices.

Let’s take a moment to consider *why* this moment is so powerful for Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji is a boy whose emotions are always on the boil. He’s 100% upset all the time, at this age, and he keeps it clamped down all the time. His cultivation level is probably as high as it is partly because of all the work he does in emotion regulation. (note: if you haven’t read all the meta at @howpeacefulislwj , go read it; it’s awesome and hilarious)

Wei Wuxian doesn’t GAF about emotion regulation; he just expresses what he feels, all the damn time.

He is openly bored, lusty, playful, hungry, whiny. He straight up tells Lan Wangji “you’re boring and you have a stick up your ass” as part of saying he wants to be friends; no deference and also no falseness.

And he can see right through Lan Wangji’s reserve, barging into his loneliness and isolation without any regard for all of his wards. Wards are made to be broken.

(Unrelated note: Young Lan Wangji's rare moments of contentment seem to come from looking at something beautiful--the moon, falling petals, these lanterns, his mirror.)

But Wei Wuxian is also good. Lan Wangji desperately wants to be good. And here’s Wei Wuxian embodying this awful, amazing, tempting alternative path, in which all the interesting things in life get explored thoroughly, all the sweetness and beauty gets consumed unreservedly, all the pain and ugliness gets confronted and endured without hesitation.

In this moment, Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji “you can change,” and then offers up this prayer/promise that is just pure chivarly, speaking straight to Lan Wangji’s heart. Very simply, I want to spend my life doing right. Not 3500 rules; just one.

This infuriating boy, who breaks rules and who flirts indiscriminately and who pushes and pushes and pushes, reveals himself in this moment to be a hero at the beginning of his journey, and Lan Wangji sees it, and his heart goes right over the cliff.

The Girls’ Room

The girl cultivators all rush over to Yanli to get in her business about her betrothal, inspiring Jin Zixuan to act like a jerk to her and get even further onto Wei Wuxian’s bad side.

Talk Shit, Get Hit

Yanli’s wish was that Wei Wuxian would grow up and be good. He promptly launches his own personal Sunshot campaign, punching her fiancee so hard that the sun falls out of the sky and the previously well-lit scene transitions to full night.

So, in English, “don’t mention it again” is really mild, akin to “I don’t want to talk about it.” Wei Wuxian’s reaction makes it seem like Jin Zixuan said something really shitty, like “don’t you dare mention that woman to me!” So I’m assuming something is being lost in translation.

Lan Wangji tries to calm him down. He grabs Wei Wuxian’s sexy arm muscle and basically holds it until the Jiangs exit the scene.

Nie Huaisang has placed himself between the opposing factions, which is unusually direct of him. In the future he’ll stick to being an unindicted co-conspirator when Wei Wuxian starts trouble.

Ants in my Pants

Lan Wangji thinks kneeling can make Wei Wuxian cry, which is adorable of him.

He really relishes this opportunity to be a pedantic tool to his new boyfriend that annoying boy he hardly ever touches, and it really doesn’t work out for him, poor lamb.

Jiang Fengmian stops by to show exactly how deep his affection for Wei Wuxian runs, and to give him whiplash from constantly changing parental expectations. In a couple of hours he’ll be laughing over WWX & JC’s hijinks.

Wei Wuxian takes this opportunity to fantasize about bad things happening to the other boy in the fight, which is in no way foreshadowing of anything.

Douche Dads Conference

We now convene this meeting of the douchebag council. Jiang Cheng is also invited even though he’s a prick, not a douche. <--important distinction

This is our first time meeting Clan Leader Jin Guangshan. He's actually the most sensible and best parent in this scene, but his smug self-satisfaction hints at his true nature. This actor, Shen Xiaohai, has been active in cdramas for a long while now. I wonder what he looked like 15 years ago?

...Holy mother of god.

Jiang Fengmian is the worst dad and the worst husband here. His clan believes in letting children do what they want - uhh YOUR child wants to marry Jin Zixuan. “I wrote a letter to her mother, who arranged this marriage.” Uhhh she arranged for her sickly, low-cultivation-level, sweet and vulnerable child to marry the heir of a rich and powerful clan, with a powerful mother-in-law who’s looking forward to loving and protecting her. Basically she’s guaranteed her daughter’s safety and comfort, and even potential happiness, since her husband may learn to appreciate her (and in fact, does, thanks to soup and repeated beatings from WWX).

Mom worked hard and probably spent a fair amount of social capital to achieve this. And you’re going to toss that aside because the boy thinks he’s too good for her? What the everloving fuck, how are you a clan leader in the first place?

You can see that Jiang Cheng understands all of this and what a terrible choice his father is making here.

So do the other adults in the room.

Jin Guangshen: our wives are going to kill us

Lan Qiren: I'm looking at a couple of dead men

Jiang Fengmian pointedly won’t listen to Jiang Cheng or let him speak, showing that all his talk about being free is actually bullshit, that only applies to other people’s children.

Jiang Chang vaults off of the deck to tell Wei Wuxian about it. Hottt

Sorry Sis

Wei Wuxian goes to Jiang Yanli to sorta-apologize and sorta ask to be let off the hook for fucking up her engagement, which he absolutely did. He knows it, which is presumably why he bows to her in paperman form while hiding outside.

At no time has Jiang Yanli indicated to anyone that she doesn’t want to marry Jin Zixuan, as far as I can see, or said she wanted to be defended from insults with punching. Look how good SHE is at defending a person from insults, for comparison.

Yin Iron Blah Blah Blah

The senior Lans meet with Jiang Fengmian to talk about the Yawn Yin Iron. Yawn.

Jiang Fengmian addresses Lan Xichen as Lan Gongzi, which is adorable, since he is a big boy to everyone else. His family calls him Xichen and other people call him Zewu-Jun.

Farewell and Fuck You

The three Jiang kids come to say goodbye.

Lan Quiren says goodbye with a heap of criticism for Wei Wuxian and the horse he rode in on, and Jiang Fengmian basically says, yep, that’s what he’s like, all right.

Good thing Wei Ying gets so much verbal abuse at home he doesn’t take it very hard when he finds it in the field.

Wangji doesn’t say goodbye properly, which will be a recurring theme for the two of them.

I don’t know if this is because he has a problem with goodbyes, or is just being a jerk, or because he’s so bad at lying he doesn’t dare talk to Wei Wuxian lest he reveal his travel plans.

Indulgent Dad Continues to be the Worst

Jiang Cheng complains at Wei Wuxian for wanting to say goodbye to Lan Wangji, and WWX says he likes him because he is equal to WWX in fighting, whereas JC sucks. JC hits him tries to hit him--gosh, he DOES suck, comparatively.

Yanli, who has been keeping these boys in line all summer, sighs deeply at her Dad’s tolerance for their hijinks. OP has five brothers and this sibling-hijinks behavior is 100% accurate, except for the part where it is happening at someone else’s house in front of the hosts.

WWX pretending to be Lan Qiren where Lan Wangji can see him doing it, in front of Lan Qiren’s colleague and supposed friend, and just earning a laugh from the patriarch? Good lord. Dad Jiang tolerating this is shocking, particularly in the in-show culture where corporal punishment is as common as tea.

We’ve tried Nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!

Uggghh why are you like this?

Here in the real world, OP uses “positive discipline” with her child, and encourages other parents to consider it, particularly if your child is neuroatypical or asynchronous. That said, JF should be punishing the crap out of both boys for this behavior every time it happens, or should quit being a clan leader. He’s relying on Jiang Yanli to keep them in line while he gets to just be amused by them. And he’s letting Lan Qiren discipline Wei Wuxian instead of doing it himself. He suuuuuuucks.

Lan Wangji watches all of this. Lan Xichen reminds Lan Wangji that without Wei Wuxian, he’s completely fucking miserable. Lan Wangji still doesn’t plan to bring him along on his trip, though.

Time to return to our lives of crushing loneliness

Rabbits

At this same moment when Lan Wangji is staring down the barrel of future loneliness, Wei Wuxian is already deciding to leave the (forbidden) rabbits in Cloud Recesses “In case Lan Zhan gets lonely.” This small decision by Wei Wuxian - breaking the rules of Cloud Recesses for the millionth time - is kinder than he knows. Because what is the job of these rabbits? Let’s have a desaturated flashback.

Lan Zhan spent 3 years in the ice cave. The rabbits kept Lan Yi company in the ice cave. So...did the rabbits sneak in to keep Lan Wangji company in the ice cave as well? I’m going to say yes. By ep 43 they are following him to the gate of Cloud Recesses so they are very attached to him. Well done, Wei Ying.

Where my bitches at? Seriously, our warren needs bitches

(Is Watership Down still a thing people read? If not, just go ahead and assume all of OP’s rabbit jokes are about Watership Down because OP ain’t going to stop making them)

While Wei Wuxian annoys the bunny he has a flashback to the scene that happened 4 minutes earlier. The Untamed editors assume the viewership has the attention span of a goldfish, and I personally appreciate that they understand me so well.

Wei Wuxian figures out that Lan Wangji is going on the road alone, and tells the bunny immediately. The bunny is very concerned.

Writing Prompt: What do next-generation cultivators Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi wish for at lantern-lighting time?

#fytheuntamed #the untamed #wangxian #the untamed gifs #cdrama #chen qing ling #restless rewatch the untamed #canary3d-original #my gifs #the untamed spoilers

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kanerallels · 3 years

Text

My Heart Is In Your Hands

(For Kanera Week, based on the prompt "ultimate OTP moment/night out")

Read on AO3 here!

@kaneraweek

Word Count: 5,250

Tags/Warnings: rated G

Summary: The Jedi throw an engagement party that Kanan and Hera in particular find very... engaging

Hera couldn’t believe how fast the next two weeks slipped by. Maybe it was because of all the work that needed to be done in preparation-- many of the guests invited were Imperial, so they had to make sure there were no signs of Mace, Depa and Kanan’s work with the Rebellion. There was also a lot of cleaning, cooking and various preparations to be done in general. Hera and Kanan had their own way to get ready, going over their story repeatedly to make sure they didn’t forget it, memorizing key details and producing answers for any possible questions that could be asked.

Of course, there was also the fact that Hera had started working with the cell on Lothal, alongside Kanan. She was usually the getaway pilot, but she’d gone on a couple of actual ops as well. After the first mission, Kanan relaxed significantly about her being out in the field, although Hera still wasn’t sure why he’d gotten so jumpy. She didn’t have much time to think about it, though.

Most of the guests would be arriving the day of the party, but a few arrived a couple days before. Kanan and Hera went down to meet some of them at the front door, the first of which was a tall Kalleran. The moment the Kalleran spotted Kanan he all but crushed him in a hug. “Kid! Since when are you getting married?”

“Kriff, Kasmir-- can’t breathe-- Kanan gasped.

Releasing him, the Kalleran turned to Hera and gave her a gentlemanly bow. “Janus Kasmir at your service. A pleasure to meet the young woman who caught Kanan’s heart. I have to know everything. How’d you two meet?”

“Believe it or not, it was only a month or two ago,” Hera said, slipping her arm through Kanan’s. “I was having… a little trouble with a street gang, and Kanan stepped in to give me a hand. By which I mean he handled one of them, and I took out the rest.”

“Give me a little credit,” Kanan protested. “I handled at least two.”

“Uh-huh. Sure, dear,” Hera said, unable to prevent the smile crossing her face at Kanan’s fake chagrin.

Chuckling, Kasmir said, “She’s good for you, kid. I like her.”

“Don’t call me kid,” Kanan grumbled. “But I like her, too.”

“I should hope so, you are marrying her,” Kasmir said with a dramatic roll of his eyes. “Excuse me, I’m gonna go say hi to your Jedi mom and your kid who’s cooler than you.”

As the Kalleran strode into the house, Hera turned to Kanan, trying not to laugh. “So, he’s… interesting. I like him, I will say.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Kanan said with some drama, and Hera smirked.

“Well, I kept you around, didn’t I?”

The next guest was an older man, mostly bald with a fringe of white hair, and a white beard. Directing a warm smile at them, he said, “Well, isn’t this a lovely surprise? Two of my favorite people are getting married.”

“What-- Okadiah?” Kanan said, and Hera’s gaze snapped to him.

“Wait, you know Okadiah?”

“YOU know Okadiah?” Kanan countered.

“Indeed,” Okadiah said with a chuckle. “I met Hera when she was just starting out on her own. Gave her a place to stay for a while and helped her on her way.”

“And how did you meet Kanan?” Hera asked curiously.

“It’s a long story,” Kanan cut in hastily. “That we don’t have time for right now. Suffice to say there was a moon that was about to be blown up, actually a few crazy cyborgs, and a couple barroom brawls involved.”

“I’ll regale you with the full tale another time,” Okadiah assured Hera. “In the meantime, let me just say I couldn’t have chosen better for you two if I had chosen myself. I congratulate you both deeply.

“Thanks, Oke,” Kanan said, shooting the older man a smile as he headed inside.

Next, they found themselves facing the third group, which was an eclectic group Hera had not expected-- a Mandalorian woman in green-blue armor, a Mirialan woman with purple skin, curly hair and exceptional fashion, and a human man holding hands with her. In their free hands, both of the latter two carried hefty suitcases, and the Mandalorian was lugging two more.

Grinning, Kanan stepped forward. “Cinya! How are you?”

“Still very willing to punch you out again,” the Mandalorian said tartly.

“But you won’t because he’s only got a week until his big party,” the Mirialan reminded her. Turning to Hera, she smiled warmly. “I’m Hadassah, and this is Lanter.” She nodded at the man next to her, who shot Hera a friendly smile.

“They’re dating,” Cinya said, and Kanan’s eyes lit up.

“About time-- congratulations, you two.”

“Thanks,” Lanter said, grinning. “Congratulations to you-- I can’t believe you’re getting married! Seems like only yesterday Cinya tried to kill you in Hadassah’s juice bar.”

“Good times,” Kanan said remiscently.

“I take it there’s something of a story here,” Hera remarked, and Hadassah laughed.

“You have no idea. Luckily, we'll have plenty of time to tell you. Lanter and I are your stylists for the party.”

“Really?” Kanan said, surprised. “I didn't know Mace and Depa asked you guys to do that.”

“You bet your life, you tall string bean,” Lanter said with a grin. “Lanter and Hadassah are here to save the day.”

Kanan looked at him for a moment, then turned to Cinya. “He watched “The Princess Diaries” on the way here, didn't he?”

Cinya nodded. “Both of them, and he cried twice during the second one.”

“I won't apologize for my love for Clarisse and Joe,” Lanter said dramatically. “They're the ultimate couple goals. Hadassah is my Clarisse.”

“You are so sweet,” Hadassah said, kissing him on the cheek.

Cinya let out a dramatic sigh. "You guys are so ridiculously sappy. Let's get moving.”

The five of them headed into the house and up to a suite that had clearly been prepared for this very reason-- a table was set up with a mirror on it, a swivel chair in front of it. At one end of the room Hera spotted a folding screen set up to change behind.

Lanter and Hadassah instantly started unpacking from their suitcases-- hairbrushes, makeup containers, ear cone pendants, perfumes, and a thousand other things that could be useful. “You… really came prepared,” Hera said, staring as Lanter pulled out a curling iron. “However, I doubt I’m going to need that.”

“Oh, that’s for Dassah,” Lanter assured her. “But if Kanan could just let me do his hair--”

“Absolutely not,” Kanan said immediately. “I already told Sabine she could.”

“But Kanan, I have the perfect--”

“Under no circumstances are you giving me the moose hairdo from “The Princess Diaries”, Lanter.”

Smirking, Lanter said, “But you would be a handsome moose. Make all the girl moose go WHUA!”

Kanan groaned, but Hera couldn’t help but laugh. “I think I’m going to like you,” she told Lanter, who beamed.

“Why thank you, Ms. Syndulla, I like you very much, too!”

Grinning, Hadassah said, “Alright, we have work to do, and I'm sure that you two do, as well. But before you go-- color preferences for your outfits? Keep in mind that they have to be somewhat coordinated.”

“Nah, I trust you not to put me in anything too reprehensible,” Kanan said jokingly.

Rolling her eyes, Hadassah said, “Immeasurably unhelpful. Fine-- I'm thinking of a blue and green color scheme for the two of you. Lanter, what do you think?”

“Perfect,” Lanter immediately agreed. “We'll get to work straight away.”

“And we'll leave you to it,” Hera said. Looping her arm through Kanan's, she tugged him forward, and they headed out.

As they made their way down the hall, Kanan murmured, “Nice job with Kasmir earlier. He can be a little too nosy for his own good.”

“No worries-- he seems nice,” Hera commented. “Very excited about us.”

A slight smile pulled at the corner of Kanan's mouth. “He's an old friend. I'm not surprised he's so excited, frankly. It's kind of who he is.”

Hera nodded without speaking, but felt an internal twinge. Part of her couldn't help but dislike the fact they were deceiving so many people, good people. They didn't deserve to be lied to like this.

And there was also another part of her. A part that found herself noticing Kanan's quiet determination and his kindness around Ezra and the grin he'd give her sometimes-- and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't noticed the fact that she was engaged to an extremely handsome man. There was a part of her that felt a flutter in her chest at his touch.

And that part of her wished that this whole thing wasn't based on a lie.

“Hera?” Kanan's concerned voice broke through her thoughts, and she glanced up to see him frowning at her. “You okay?”

Hera gave her head a quick shake, like the motion would send those thoughts flying. But they’d been there too long for that. “Fine, sorry-- were you saying something?”

A slight furrow in Kanan’s brow hinted that he wasn’t quite satisfied with her response, but all he said was, “I was wondering if you still think your father won’t accept his invitation.”

“Oh.” Hera shook her head. “No, he won’t come. Especially since you’re inviting Imperials to keep our cover. He doesn’t know that-- he’ll probably assume I’m all but colluding with them. So either he won’t come, or I’ll wish he hadn’t.” Releasing a sigh, she said, “I guess I always assumed he and my mother would be here for this.”

Kanan slipped his arm from around hers long enough to catch hold of her hand, and Hera felt her heartbeat stutter as his fingers laced through hers. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, giving her hand a quick squeeze.

“It’s okay,” Hera told him, returning the gesture. “I may not have my father and mother, but I have you, and everyone else here. And at this point, they feel like family almost more than my father does.”

The smile Kanan gave her was a soft one with that unusual warmth shining around the edges, the light that she saw in his eyes more and more these days. Hera couldn’t bring herself to look away, despite the flush she knew was growing on her cheeks. Time to get out of here, she decided. Before I do something truly stupid.

“I should probably--” she started.

“Do you ever--” Kanan began at the same time. They both stopped short, and Hera laughed, feeling a flash of self-consciousness.

“Sorry, you go ahead,” Kanan said, giving her the crooked grin, the one that was Hera’s favorite. For just a second, her gaze lingered on it, and she found herself wondering what it would be like to close the distance, to drop a kiss against the upturned corner of his mouth--

What are you THINKING, Hera? She scolded herself. You can’t just start thinking about kissing Kanan, not now. Clearing her throat, she said, “I was just going to say that I’d better get going-- plenty to do before our party.”

“Right, yeah,” Kanan said, and was Hera imagining it or was there something a little strained about his voice? “Same here. See you later?”

“Yes-- but didn’t you want to tell me something?” Hera asked.

Kanan opened his mouth to speak, and stopped for a moment. Closing it, he finally shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’d better get going.”

Releasing Hera’s hand, he headed off down the hall, leaving Hera staring after him. Well, that was… strange. But she really didn’t have time to spend thinking about why Kanan was acting so strangely.

So of course, over the next three days leading up to their engagement party, that was all she thought about. Especially since Kanan seemed to be avoiding her. He was always out on some sort of business of some kind or in a fitting with Lanter or working to help clean out the ballroom.

And Hera didn’t feel hurt by that. That would be ridiculous. They were both busy, she didn’t exactly have time to spend with him either.

Or maybe she was avoiding him, too. Either way, it didn’t matter. Much.

Alright, it definitely did matter, but some part of Hera didn’t want to bring it up. Maybe she was afraid of the answer, maybe she was afraid she’d lose what she had with Kanan, maybe she was afraid that she was falling in love with a man she wasn’t supposed to technically fall for.

So she kept pushing aside the thoughts, and threw herself into working for the engagement party. And before she knew it, it was the evening of the party, and she was heading up to Hadassah’s suite to get her dress.

The Mirialan was waiting with excitement stamped across her face, and a companion-- Depa Billaba. Throwing her a smile, Depa said, “Don’t mind me, I’m just here to see my future daughter in law get ready. It’s my prerogative.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Hera said, giving Depa a smile and pretending like the “daughter in law” part didn’t throw her for a loop. “Okay-- where’s my dress?”

“Here,” Hadassah said, darting over to the changing screen and pulling a dress on a hanger from behind it. She held it up, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. “What do you think?”

Hera’s eyes widened at the sight-- a sleeveless dress with a high neckline, made of fluttery fabric, the color shading from teal into a deep cobalt blue. It was stunning-- Hera knew just by looking at it that she’d never owned anything so expensive and beautiful in her life, other than the Ghost.

“It’s beautiful,” she breathed, brushing a hand across the smooth cloth. “I-- I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Well, Depa paid us,” Hadassah said with a shrug. “But you can repay us by going out and having a good time with your fiance tonight. Speaking of which, I’d better get going-- Lanter’s waiting for me downstairs.”

Giving them a quick wave, Hadassah slipped out of the room, leaving Hera with Depa. Glancing at the Jedi, Hera said, “Thank you. I don’t know how I can repay you--”

“No repayment necessary,” Depa said firmly. “I’m happy to do it.” As Hera admired the dress for a moment longer, she added, “However, I do have a question for you.”

Hera glanced at Depa curiously, and saw the Jedi wearing a patiently curious expression. “I’ve noticed you and Kanan have been avoiding each other lately. Did something happen?”

“No, I-- we’re not-- what makes you think--” Hera stammered, and Depa held up a hand.

“Hera. I’m not the blind one. You two used to spend every day together, but I haven’t seen you with my apprentice in days. What’s going on?”

Hera bit her lip, her eyes flicking from Depa to the floor and then back again. Part of her felt that saying how she felt out loud would make it far too real. But the sympathy and understanding in Depa’s eyes pulled the words out of her. “I don’t want to avoid him. But things are just… complicated right now.”

Narrowing her eyes, Depa said, “Did he make a move on you?”

“What? No, of course not.” Hera felt herself flush at her next words. “Do you think-- would he-- never mind.”

“Ahhh.” A knowing smile grew on Depa’s face. “I see.”

“See… what?” Frustration boiled through Hera at the almost desperate curiosity in her words. She felt so irritatingly petty about this whole thing.

“That you’re in love with my apprentice,” Depa said matter of factly.

Oh. Oh, dear. But she wasn’t wrong. “I… I didn’t expect this to happen,” Hera said softly. “I had no idea that Kanan would be…” Handsome? Charming? So incredibly caring and kind? The kind of man I could spend my life with?

“I know,” Depa said, her tone soft and sympathetic. “It can’t be easy to be in a relationship without actually being in a relationship. Hera-- if I may give you some advice?”

“Okay,” Hera said hesitantly.

“You don’t seem to be the kind of woman who would give her heart easily. But if Kanan’s the one who’s earned it, don’t give up on that. Both of you deserve better than that.”

“He does, you’re right,” Hera agreed, her voice low. ��I just don’t want to ruin what Kanan and I have by--”

“Telling him that you love him?” Depa reached out and touched her hand, her eyes kind. “You don’t have to. But honesty is important in any relationship, whether it’s romantic or not. And will you regret it if you don’t? Just think about it, please.”

“I-- I will,” Hera promised, unsure whether it was fear or determination swelling in her chest. Depa smiled and gave her hand a quick squeeze.

“Good. Now, get dressed. You have a party to get to.”

Half an hour later, Hera was wearing the amazing dress Hadassah had given her, along with a set of silver ear cone pendants set with teal gems and a matching bracelet. She waited by the door of the ballroom for Kanan, who still hadn’t arrived. Is he even coming? She wondered with a flash of worry-- silly worry, really. Kanan wouldn’t just stand her up, and it was his party, too.

Seconds after she thought the words, she heard footsteps behind her, and Kanna’s voice. “Sorry I’m late,” he called. “Ezra needed something before I left.”

“Don’t worry about it--”

Hera’s words stuttered to a halt in her mouth as she stared at Kanan, who gaped right back at her. She usually saw him in his casual every-day wear, or occasionally Jedi robes. What he wore now was nothing like that.

He wore a crisp white shirt with long sleeves and dark trousers. Over the shirt, he had on a navy blue jerkin with teal embroidery that brought out the vibrant color in his eyes. At his hip hung his lightsaber, which Hera had only rarely seen him with.

“Wow,” he breathed as he stared at her. “You’re… wow.”

“You… you look incredible,” Hera managed. And it was the truth. A small smile lifted the corner of Kanan’s mouth.

“Thanks,” he said, closing the distance between them and capturing her hand in his. Hera felt her heart start pounding as he gazed at her, seeming to drink in the sight of her. “But trust me,” he murmured. “No one’s going to be looking at me when you’re standing next to me.”

“I will be.” Hera felt her face warm the minute the words slipped out of her mouth, because it sounded like flirting. It was flirting, she knew. But she really couldn’t help herself, especially with him standing inches away from her, looking at her the way he was.

A crooked grin danced across Kanan’s face. “Really, Captain Syndulla? Flirting at a time like this?”

“Well, it is our engagement party,” Hera pointed out, feeling a ridiculous sense of relief. Kanan was here with her, and even his presence made this whole thing a little easier to deal with. Well, except for the fact that she was incredibly caught off guard by how handsome he looked tonight.

Offering her his arm, Kanan said, “That’s true. And we should probably head in. Are you ready?”

Looping her arm around his, Hera replied, “Not remotely. Let’s do this.”

“That’s the spirit.”

They moved into the ballroom subtly, but somehow everyone noticed them the moment they set foot inside. Hera could feel the eyes on her, and she stiffened, trying not to panic. Kanan’s thumb brushed against her bare upper arm, sending a quick shiver down her spine. “It’s okay,” he said, his voice too low for anyone else to hear. “Take a deep breath. I’m here.”

Somehow, that was more comforting than anything else he could have said. Hera took a quick deep breath as Mace and Depa headed their way. Depa was clad in a lavender dress, while Mace looked majestically elegant in formal Jedi robes, the dark scar across his eyes totally unhidden.

Giving both of them a warm smile, Depa said, “You both look wonderful, although you are a little late.”

“Sorry-- Ezra was trying to convince me to smuggle him cake in my pockets,” Kanan apologized.

“I’m sure that’s what the guests will think happened,” Mace muttered with a small smirk that looked a little too much like his grand Padawan’s.

“Manners, Mace,” Depa said. “And I can’t believe I’m saying that to you instead of the other way around. Okay, here’s what you two need to do-- mingle a little bit, say hello to the guests. Make sure to greet Governor Pryce--”

“Absolutely not,” Kanan said flatly. “She’s the reason Ezra’s parents are--”

“I know that, but we have to be careful, Kanan,” Depa said, her voice firm.

“What-- Pryce isn’t some invincible succubus,” Kanan protested. “She’s a regular succubus, who can be defeated.”

Releasing a sigh, Depa turned to Hera. “When Pryce comes over-- she’s the one with the short black hair, Imperial uniform--”

“Don’t look straight into her eyes, though,” Kanan muttered.

“Why, because she’ll turn you to stone?” Mace asked.

“No, because her eyes are ugly.”

Letting out a sigh, Depa said, “Perhaps it’s better if Hera does the talking.”

“Perhaps,” Hera agreed.

“Fine,” Kanan said, not looking upset. “Anything else?”

Nodding, Depa said, “Yes. Actually try to have a good time. And don’t forget to have at least one dance.”

“Finally, something I can get behind,” Kanan said with a grin, and Hera was suddenly very aware of how close they were standing, of his arm brushing against hers.

She saw a slight smile flicker across Depa's face, but all the Jedi said was, “Have fun, you two.”

Turning, she led Mace away as the music began and a few couples started to move out onto the dance floor. One in particular caught Hera’s eye--- a man with dark hair and a scar across one eye, dressed in all black, including a long black coat embroidered in gold. At his side was a slight woman, her long curly hair hanging loose and free. She was dressed in a floor length golden silk gown, with a decorative aqua panel along the bodice and a matching sash. Slim straps hung the gown from her shoulders, which were bare except for a gauzy aqua veil that was clasped to her wrists with cuffs made of the same golden silk.

“Is that Senator Amidala?” she asked Kanan quietly.

“Yeah-- as it turns out, giant engagement parties are a really good way to get your Rebellion contacts in close proximity so you can exchange information. There’ll probably be a meeting tonight with some of the leaders-- including them.”

Hera followed Kanan’s discreet nod to a dark haired woman wearing dark blue, dancing with a man in a matching cape who Hera suddenly recognized. “Wait-- Senator Organa’s here, too?”

Nodding, Kann said, “As is Senator Mothma, the Duchess of Mandalore, and about a dozen others. The Jedi aren’t submitting. We’re just waiting for the right moment to strike.” Flashing her a teasing grin, he added, “And to think, you thought we were just sitting around letting the Empire walk all over us.”

“Well, you were acting that way very convincingly,” Hera pointed out.

“Glad to hear it.”

Spotting a tall woman in Imperial greys making her way through the crowd towards them. Hera muttered, “I think I spotted your friend, Governor Pryce.”

“What? Kriff.” Kanan grimaced. “Time to pretend to be polite.”

“Unless you didn’t see her, and you had something else very pressing to address,” Hera pointed out. “After all, you do owe me at least one dance. Probably more.”

A grin slowly crossed Kanan’s face. “I do, don’t I?” Giving her a bow, he offered her a hand. “Will you dance, Captain Hera?”

Placing her hand in his, Hera said, “With you, I will.”

The two of them moved out onto the dance floor together. The music in the background was sweet and elegant, and she had an excellent partner. True to form, Kanan’s movements were smooth and graceful. “You dance better than I expected,” Hera observed.

“I’ve been practicing,” Kanan admitted with that crooked grin of his. “Didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of my fiancee, after all. Spin.”

Hera obligingly twirled away from Kanan, her hand still locked securely in his. With a gentle tug, Kanan brought her back to him, his arm slipping back around her waist. Hera felt her breath catch as she met his eyes, and was suddenly very aware of the space between them. She was close enough she could sense the warmth of Kanan’s skin, and the look in his eyes as he gazed at her sent a flutter through her stomach.

“You’re staring, dear,” she told him in a soft undertone.

“Is it that obvious?” he asked, his voice equally low.

Lifting an eyebrow, Hera said, “I mean. A little.”

A small wince crossed Kanan’s face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable isn’t the word I’d use,” Hera replied, and something flickered in Kanan’s eyes.

“Then… what would you call it?” he asked, his low baritone holding a soft question beyond his words.

“Cherished.”

The word slipped out before Hera could help it. But it was true. No one had ever looked at her the way Kanan had, the way he was looking at her now. Not like she was an object or a price on the slave market. Like she was something truly priceless.

Kanan’s eyes widened, and he started to speak. But before he could, a voice caught their attention. “Kanan! Mind if I have a word?”

Hera glanced towards the sound, catching sight of Anakin Skywalker heading towards them, a bearded man at his side who Hera realized must be Obi-Wan Kenobi. He shot Hera a look that could only be translated as “I am so sorry for this” as Anakin paused next to them.

“It’s important,” he told Kanan as he and Hera came to a halt.

“Of course,” Kanan said, releasing Hera and stepping away from her. Hera thought she saw a flash of reluctance in his eyes, but if it was there, he masked it well. Glancing at her, he said, “I’m sorry--”

“It’s fine, love,” Hera told him, forcing a smile. “I’ll leave you to it.”

She slipped away from the three of them and headed into the crowd, feeling Kanan’s eyes follow her as she walked. But it wasn’t long before she was out of their sight.

At the far end of the ballroom, there was a door that led out onto a balcony overlooking the Lothal prairie beyond the house. Hera made her way there, and slipped outside.

The cool night breeze was a relief after the nearly stifling warmth of the ballroom-- although not all of it was from the amount of people in there, Hera knew. She felt heat sweep over her again as her mind wandered back to dancing with Kanan, the warmth of his skin seeping through her dress.

Taking a quick breath, Hera pressed her hands against the cold stone of the balcony railing and stared out at Lothal’s moons shimmering amongst the stars above them. Two out of the three were full, just like the night when she’d first met Kanan. She never would have thought that evening that all of this would come about, that she would end up engaged to a man she’d just met.

That she would end up falling in love with him.

Hera pressed her eyes shut, taking a shaky breath. Force. She wasn’t even sure if he felt the same way. But that didn’t exactly stop her from thinking about Kanan, from wanting to be near him, from wondering what it would be like to kiss him.

“Hera?”

Kanan’s voice came from directly behind her, low and warm. Hera took in a quick breath, then turned to face him. The light from the doorway illuminated him from behind, the shadows obscuring his expression.

“Depa said she saw you heading this way,” he said, moving up next to her. “Mind if I join you?”

“Not at all,” Hera said, and Kanan settled beside her, resting his forearms on the balcony railing.

“Sorry we got interrupted earlier,” he said, flicking a quick glance her way. “Apparently, Skywalker’s daughter had collected some important intel he wanted to share as soon as possible.”

“It’s fine, love,” Hera said. “I understand.”

She sensed Kanan stiffen next to her, and frowned. What did I-- oh.

“You called me love,” he said, his voice soft.

“I-- yeah, I did,” Hera said, feeling herself flushing. Of course this would be how it came out. She was trying to think of what to say next when Kanan spoke.

“Do you ever wish this was real?”

Hera froze, her brain going blank. All she could manage to say was, “What?”

“This whole thing, this engagement. Do you ever wish it was real? Because I-- I can’t lie to you, Hera.” Kanan turned towards her, and Hera felt her heart stutter against her breastbone as he met her gaze. “I do,” he said. “I’m sorry--”

“Don’t be.” The words slipped out of Hera’s mouth, but she didn’t even try to take them back. She couldn’t, not with the way Kanan was looking at her now, his eyes wide but full of something that made Hera flush.

“Hera,” he whispered. “I would never, ever do anything to push past your boundaries.”

“I know,” Hera said, her gaze locked on Kanan’s face and her heartbeat steadily rising as she watched him.

“But I really, really want to kiss you right now.” Kanan paused, his eyes lingering on her, then stepped a little closer. “Can I…?”

Hera closed the distance between them without hesitation. Her lips met his, and Hera was nearly swept off her feet by the dizzy array of emotions washing over her. A strong arm slipping around her waist steadied her as Kanan kissed her back, gently drawing her close.

They broke apart a few moments later, and Hera took a quick breath in. “Force, Kanan.”

“Can you tell I’ve been waiting a while to do that?” Kanan asked, his voice amused.

“Maybe a little,” Hera said, letting her forehead rest against his. “I-- how does this even happen? Who could have seen this coming?”

Kanan paused, then let out a soft chuckle that Hera more felt that heard. “Uh. Possibly Mace.”

“What??” Hera pulled back enough to see his face. “What are you talking about?”

“The first day you were here, he told me the Force led him to you, and it wanted you here,” Kanan said. “I didn’t know why at the time, but he seemed pretty confident.”

“And you think the Force wanted us together?” Hera said, lifting an eyebrow. “The mystical Force that binds the whole galaxy together could not possibly be invested in our relationship.”

“Well, you never know,” Kanan said, giving her a cocky smirk. “We are pretty amazing.”

“You are a pain, dear,” Hera said with a roll of her eyes.

“Lucky for you I’m your pain,” Kanan said. Pausing, he asked, “Will you call me love again?”

“Kiss me, love,” Hera said, and Kanan happily obliged.

#kaneraweek2021 #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #swr #star wars rebels #kanera #kanera is love kanera is life #swr fan fic #depa billaba #mace windu #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi #padme amidala #okadiah garson #janus kasmir #not my ocs #but someones and they're really great. jk they're accidental-spice's #it was dope. the end #fake engagement

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