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away-ward · 9 months

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What do you think Emory's relationship is like with the other Horseman and the girls apart from Alex?

Edited mainly for formatting; some new thoughts but nothing's really changed.

In general, I believe they're all supposed to have close relationships with one another. Individually, that's hard to answer since my understanding of the characters is pretty surface level (some I don't even have a concept for), I have no idea what their day-to-day friendships would be like, but I'll try to answer what I think they bond over/what how their friendship works.

Banks

Would you like to be read to filth? Catch yourself on their radar.

These two pair off pretty quickly due to their similarities in sense of humor, approach to solving problems, and background.

Definitely sharing secret looks across the table/room when nonsense is going on.

Obviously, like most of the fandom, I think Em is closest to Banks of all the girls. I think they start to like each other right away, and bond pretty quickly. They gravitate together, and especially since the other girl's can have very high energy, these two stabilized each other and keep a similar pace. I think they'd feel like they don't have to work as hard with each other, and that just makes Emory more comfortable from the start.

Winter

Polite with each other at first; more relaxed and joking over time.

Able to talk art and music. Since both are in creative fields, Winter finally has someone who can understand that side of her and help her get the creative energy flowing.

We know Winter tolerates how negative and sarcastic Damon can be, so once Emory learns that she actually appreciates it, Em feels more comfortable letting her dark humor and snark fly.

Winter is such a sweet, easy going person that I think Emory doesn't have much of a problem getting used to having her around. I think they'd start off a mild, polite, and friendly with each other, but the more they meet through Damon, the more they find to talk about, mainly joking over Damon's eccentricities. Once Emory learns that Winter is typically non-judgmental, she relaxes a little bit more into her usual sarcasm and wit. Winter enjoys Emory's sense of humor greatly. Emory also has the most flexibility in her schedule, so she might be able to help Winter with the kids more than the others.

I can also see Emory helping Winter find new pieces music for her tours. Winter might even want Emory to dust off her flute and record something for her to dance to. Winter likes to involve everyone and Emory would flattered to be included.

Damon

In their business, Emory enjoys brainstorming ideas, Damon builds. Both are creative and want their input, so when disagreements do happen, it can be a bit of a cold front in the office.

Rely on each other for reality checks.

Darkest of jokes. Inside jokes. Code words for things they don't want the others to know about.

They have a unique bond over shared trauma, and will have each others backs when there's a conflict within the family. They help each other to see things they might have overlooked, bringing each other back to reality like a touch stone. Since they understand the other's pain, they can call each other out without overstepping. They have a mutual understanding, and even one says something offensive, a grudge is never held. They also know that when it comes down to it, they're the ones that will make the hard decisions no one else wants to make. These two will do what needs to be done, and they'll do it quietly.

Rika

At first, bond over horsemen antics and how stupid their men were at the start.

They grow closer over losing their parents at a young age. Even though Rika only lost her father, the fact that she felt abandoned by her mom didn't help, and Em understands what it's like to have a parent who loves you there one day and gone the next.

Next to Alex, helps Emory explore her darker feminine side the most.

They have completely different strengths, weaknesses, and approach to life, so they'd have to learn how to appreciate each other's methods. Since Rika is the more out-going and sociable of the two, it falls to her to take the lead in building the friendship. Emory can come off cold and critical, even when not meaning to. Fortunately, Rika has plenty of practice dealing with that, so she doesn't take offense. They fall into a natural flow eventually.

Because personal connection is so important to Rika, she's the first to put a lot of effort into making Emory feel welcomed, almost overwhelming Emory. Em might struggle to keep up with her high-energy sometimes, but loves the unconditional love Rika proudly displays. She doesn't have to guess where she stands with Rika, and for Em that would be appreciated.

Kai

Both are private and protective of themselves and what they hold close, so a friendship between them would be quiet but respectful.

Able to enjoy the others company in silence. There's no great urgency for them to fill the space with chit-chat. Over time, this could lead them to being more sensitive to the other's thoughts and feelings.

Kai values tradition and reliability, whereas Emory doesn't mind shaking things up and acting on whim, but they both take calculated risks. Key word is: calculated.

I see a friendship between Kai and Emory being quiet, but respectful at the start. Since neither of them are particularly chatty people, there's no urgency to fill the silence when left alone, and over time this could lead to them being more sensitive to each other's moods.

Not sure how long it would take them to bond, or what would bring them closer to deepen their relationship. It could start when trains her in self-defense, and recognizes her survival instincts and determination. He might also appreciate having another reasonable mind around. I think of all the couples, he'd trust his kids to the Grayson's the most, and Em is probably the biggest reason for that.

As for Emory, I think she'd welcome the knowledge of how to quiet her thoughts and that the doesn't pry for information she's not ready to share. And we know Kai was the horseman Emory liked the most in high school, so those positive feelings could start to resurface.

Once they do find a balance, they sync up easily. It might take a while, but they would to learn to appreciate each other.

Michael

Bonds over concepts, planning, and debating.

Frequently argue about what's best for Thunder Bay; when to renovate versus when to tear down and start new.

While they disagree a lot, at the end of the day, they have similar values when it comes to the important stuff, and will support each other when it comes to that.

Michael and Emory are tough. Neither of them need a lot of emotional support in their day-to-day, and what they do need they get from other sources, so most of their conversations are thinly veiled arguments. But don't worry, they actually love the mental stimulation. That's the spark of their friendship. The group even keeps a tally of who wins each argument, but they've learned that if it goes on too long, it can become a disaster.

I think it would probably take them the longest to get to know each other beyond a surface level. I can see it starting with Emory appreciating his serious approach to situations. Of course, she loves Will's playfulness, but to know Michael is there to make sure logical prevails when it needs to might be reassuring for her.

For Michael, I think he would most appreciate Emory's initiative. One thing he didn't like about Alex or Rika in the beginning was that they waited to be told what to do. Emory hesitated to do what she wanted, but she never needed to be told to make a decision and act on it. When their goals begin to align, he could see her as a powerful ally. I think she's probably a tie breaker between him and Banks often.

If anyone does have HC, feel free to share! I'd love to have a better understanding of how others view them.

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #emory scott #the women of devil's night #the horsemen of devil's night #devil's night series #asked and answered 46

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mandareeboo · 3 years

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SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

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myaimistrue · 3 years

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del myaimistrue’s underrated destiel fic recs! (part 1)

these are all fics i’ve read and realllllllly enjoyed, and they’re all ones that i don't often see people discussing on here. bc of that they all either have less than 10k hits OR were published pre-2015 OR both. i hope you all like them, and if you do, please consider giving the authors some love and leaving a comment saying so. we fic writers live off that kinda stuff :)

list under the cut, organized by word count!

I Know! Straight Out of a Telenovela, Right? by @credentiast

quick 800ish word meta joke about y yo a ti. so sweet and domestic and lovely. i read this right after it was uploaded and have gone back to read it multiple times since then. always makes me smile!

strap the wing to me by a_good_soldier (aka @s11e17)

as i’m sure we all know, basically everything a_good_soldier writes is wonderful. this little 1.9k bit of sweetness is one of my personal favorites of theirs, and is sorely underrated. a bit of conversation between dean and cas about how much cas loves him. nothing like holy devotion to a human man!

The First Thing There Is by bendingsignposts

cas seals off dean's memories as part of the effort to stop michael, and amnesiac dean immediately realizes that cas loves him. 5k of really sweet, in-character moments and a healthy dose of humor.

Eyes Like the Texas Sky by RogueTranslator

do you hate john winchester? do you want to read about dean’s queer awakening and how that relates to his love of cowboys? do you love sweet stories about finding love and acceptance in places you didn’t expect? this 5.6k fic is for you! dean tells cas the story of the first guy he ever had feelings for, and boy is it sweet and heart-wrenching and wonderful.

Nothing Equals the Splendor by RurouniHime

7.8k fic in which 15x20 was all part of a djinn dream. perhaps my all-time favorite finale fix-it (which is why it’s on this list despite having like 12k hits shhh) featuring full-powered angelic cas blowing out all the lights in the bunker when he and dean have sex. beautifully written and so sweet. and the sequel is also great--highly recommended as well

Telemetry by scifive

DEAN STUDIES FIC!!! 9k set during the first seven episodes of season 4 that actually addresses and deals with dean’s ptsd and trauma from hell. dean’s voice is absolutely perfectly in-character. also it’s pre-relationship destiel but the moment with them at the very end is so tender and lovely.

the pie isn’t a metaphor (it’s just pie) by noviembre

9.3k post-canon fic in which dean and cas get comfortable with their relationship and bake some pies together. it’s a very soft little story that features dean being head over heels and cas being beautifully sarcastic.

Talk Therapy by shara

9.3k of dean figuring out what he wants from cas and how to be in a relationship with him. sex-focused, but intentional about what details are shared so it feels very natural and sweet. cas is so steadfast as dean tries to unlearn what he’s been taught his whole life.

it’s such a mystery (the way you know me) by fleeceframe

another memory loss fic, except it’s cas this time! 10k words about cas getting hit with a temporary memory loss spell and his rediscovery of love and friendship. straight up this one made me cry happy tears. fleeceframe writes beautiful stuff, and this one is no different--the language is just gorgeous.

killing time by orestespdf

11.2k post-canon fic. it’s kind of a day in the life of dean and cas in the lake house they’ve made their home that doubles as a cas character study. very cathartic and romantic.

Kingdom Come by ahurston

17.3k cas comes back from the empty fic featuring a road trip and lots of cas introspection. dean and cas’s interactions are so so so in-character the entire time, and the final moments of the story are absolutely perfect. one of my personal favorite fix-its.

a certain light by flightagain

24.3k au in which cas works at a gas-n-sip and dean’s a customer that comes in a lot, with a supernatural twist! this story is so gorgeous and gentle, and dean and cas’s relationship is portrayed beautifully. if you’re a cas fan, this story is his from pov and nails it in a way that i think is really hard to do in an au.

Peace And Good Luck to All Men by KismetJeska

31.3k human au in which dean is anna’s boyfriend she brings home for christmas, and he and cas immediately click. i am not a big au person, especially when it comes to angel characters, but this fic is so genuinely in character and still hilarious. also a long time fandom classic.

Everybody Needs the Light by opal_bullets

46.5k words of another banger by opal_bullets of poet dean fic fame! actually i might like this one just a little better which should tell how great this one is. it takes place pre-series. dean stops at an old motel in minnesota that cas is running, and something strange is going on… this fic has one of the most interesting conclusions i’ve read in a spn fic and there is such a cool atmosphere to the whole piece. highly recommended if you’re a fan of mysteries and/or supernatural’s angelic dynamics and/or pre-series dean.

Smells Like Roses by orphan_account :(

53.8k words. an absolute classic. seriously, if you haven’t read this, ESPECIALLY if you’re a dean girl, it’s a must-read. set in season 5, dean has a vivid djinn dream of an entire life he spends married in domestic bliss with cas. when he gets pulled out of it, he struggles to readjust and focus on the coming apocalypse. dean is so in-character and so heart-breaking. def a dean thesis fic with a healthy side of destiel sweetness.

The Hanged Man by ellispark

87.6k words. PARK RANGER CAS. literally need i say more?? if that alone hasn’t sold you, the story is that he finds dean out in the woods after someone has tried to kill him, and the mystery unfolds from there as the two of them grow closer. the plot is really interesting and in-character despite being an au. also, if non-verbal dean is something you like/find interesting, you will really love this fic. absolutely worth the read and frankly deserves more hits!

#there will definitely be more lists i after this one #i read a lot of fic #if anybody has any specific requests i can also look into that--i'm not afraid to brave the main spn tag on ao3 if need be #del's fic recs #is the tag i'll use ig #deancas #destiel #destiel fic rec #deancas fic rec

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kodzumie-archived · 3 years

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❝FIRST TIME❞

Synopsis; What their first time would be like.

Featuring; Kokichi Oma, Mikan Tsumiki, and Nagito Komaeda x GN! Reader

Warning(s); (N)SFW, loss of virginity, submissive characters, experienced reader, implications of previous sexual abuse (Mikan), and established relationship.

➤ KOKICHI OMA

⤷ Due to his playful and joking demeanor, his first time would be alleviated of the tension it could’ve potentially had, easing him into the moment.

⤷ He’s likely to crack a joke or two. It’s not much but it’s certainly enough for him to feel comfortable amidst such a foreign intimacy.

⤷ Truth be told, he’s nervous; so very nervous and blinded with anxiety. But he’d never tell you that, and if you attempt to gauge the truth you’ll merely be smothered with an array of lies; he’s never going to admit it.

⤷ Despite his inner turmoil and anxieties, his visage appears collected to you. As a liar, he’ll go through hell and back in order to make sure he looks capable of what he’s doing.

⤷ Though his façade surprisingly dissipates once he’s the one being pleasured. As you run your fingers along his body, cascading further until you reach his most sensitive of areas, his expression will contort to that of distress laced with curiosity.

⤷ A curiosity that you indulge in as though you were sipping the delicacy of a mere cocktail; flushing yourself with the remanence of such a sugary drink.

⤷ He’d originally claimed that as the Ultimate Supreme Leader, of course, he’d had sex before!

⤷ And truthfully, you didn’t bother to disprove his claims. After all, you acknowledged that if he didn’t want to admit it, that was fine. Just like it was fine if he was being truthful of having experience.

⤷ But from the way he falls apart under your hypnotic grasp, your fist clasping over his cock and pumping him at a moderate pace, spreading the precum the crown oozed along his shaft, you began to suspect yet another fib from the infamous liar.

⤷ Interestingly enough, he’s sensitive; so very sensitive. Every ghost of touch will leave him gasping and whining feverishly for more; for an abundance of your love and carnal care.

⤷ Kokichi is a vocal individual. He’s never been known for being the quiet type. He’s a bustling radiance of pure, unhindered chaos, and this doesn’t change from within the sheets either.

⤷ Grunts and groans are only uttered from between his lips when he still gives enough of a shit to hide his sounds, biting his bottom lip to suppress his pathetically voiced ecstasy.

⤷ But once you both truly start getting more into it, he begins to lose himself in the pleasure. Ghostly touches turned into hungry—no, starved—grasps and squeezes. Fleeting kisses of delicate desire now suckle of lips and teeth against each other’s skin as you’re both plunged into the unmistakable clutches of lust.

⤷ His grunts melt into moans; the very same moans that bounce against the walls of your shared bedroom and dissolve into breathless pleas; pleads to go faster, harder.

⤷ His front as the Ultimate Supreme Leader is long forgotten as he succumbs to his wants—his needs—shamelessly begging for more; begging for your touches.

⤷ His pride was swallowed long ago, long before you bucked your hips, pushing him closer and closer towards his climax. His sobs, moans, and whines flooding your ears as he practically sang your name as though it were a mantra.

⤷ Whatever dominance he attempted to display had been long-forgotten as he writhed from beneath you, peering up at you with a clouded gaze. Curses of fuck, fuck, fuck as he was driven to the edge, crying out as he came.

⤷ If you thought he was sensitive during your session, then the aftershock of his first shared orgasm had left him seeing stars at every minuscule movement.

⤷ He looked the most fragile you’d ever seen him as he stuttered out a yelp as you assisted him in cleaning up. A blush residing on his cheeks—flushed countenance—as he watched you with a swirl of newfound love in his eyes.

⤷ If you invested further attention to the way his lips contorted into a warm, sincere smile, it’d have proven fatal to your heart; melting your composure as you peered at his gentle expression, one that was reserved solely for you.

➤ MIKAN TSUMIKI

⤷ It’ll take a while for her to engage in such a thing, honestly. She’s incredibly hesitant and overthinks every possibility of how she could ruin the moment, giving you yet another reason why her pitiful self was not worth your time.

⤷ Not to mention that most of her presumptions on sex have been based on trauma involving sexual experiences.

⤷ She’s terrified, not only from how she could possibly upset you with her clumsy antics and inexperience but from the act itself. She’s afraid to be so vulnerable. To be laid bare in front of you was enough to spike her anxieties.

⤷ She trusts you, she swears she does. But she doesn’t trust herself to be so exposed. Her view of herself tainted with insecurity and constant doubt.

⤷ Fear is instilled in her as the haunting thought of being not enough; failing to meet your expectations. She knows she shouldn’t think this, you’ve told her countless times that she’s more than enough for you.

⤷ But the thoughts don’t diminish that easily, a lesson she’s had to painfully bear as each degrading thought pierces through her heart with malicious intent.

⤷ It’s a constant turmoil between wanting to swallow back the bile of self-doubt and insecurity to pursue your mutual wants, but the chains of fear are almost unbreakable. Almost.

⤷ Because one day, what started out as nothing more than a make-out session had resulted in discarded clothing, suckling of skin, and lust-filled gazes.

⤷ Everything was a blurred array of desire and haste. Feverish kisses to muffle needy whines as things progressed so fast.

⤷ She wanted this, she really did. But as your hands began to wander down, familiarizing yourself with her body through playful, teasing squeezes, she couldn’t help the anxiety that resurfaced.

⤷ Would you be satisfied with what she has to offer? Would she be able to please you? What if she hurts you? What if you end up hurting her? But you wouldn’t do that, would you? What if she—

⤷ Her train of thoughts is interrupted by the sound of your voice, tethering her back to reality where your concerned gaze meets her as you ask her if she wants to continue.

⤷ She expected disappointment, she expected even the possibility of anger within your gaze and words. But she found no such thing. Rather, she found worry; concern; genuine care for her wellbeing.

⤷ It wasn’t much, a simple question and the interlocking of eyes. Yet, strangely enough, her hammering heart seemed to calm as her anxious thoughts stilled.

⤷ Perhaps it was the realization that you really cared for her that eased her worries. But regardless, she felt considerably stable than when she did moments prior. Her shaky hands managing to steady themselves as she gripped your shoulders with a timid smile, admitting she’d like to continue.

⤷ You didn’t return to your ministrations for a moment, instead, you peer into her eyes in search of doubt. But once you found none and felt assured that she truly did want this, you pressed your lips against hers for a delicate kiss; whispering an I love you against her.

⤷ Mikan’s heart nearly melted as she smiled, feeling so unbelievably calmed with the most minimal of reassurances. It’s truly one of the millions of reasons she loves you so much; you can ease her worries with such skill she’s convinced you’re the Ultimate Stress Reliever.

⤷ You peppered her body with kisses, following up with a swipe of your tongue and a suckle to mark your claim; the bruises forming scattered bringing a greater flush to her cheeks.

⤷ Her pleas were muffled as she attempted to silence her moans in fear of releasing a sound that you weren’t pleased with.

⤷ But you’re quick to notice what she’s attempting to do and you settle your domineering gaze upon her, the dark glint in your eyes nearly pulling another moan from her, one that she quickly swallowed back. Yet you protested, assuring her that you want to hear her.

⤷ She apologizes, an apology you didn’t allow to be voiced as you bite against her sensitive area, to which her apology was cut off by a yelp.

⤷ Though you eased the bite as you swiped your tongue over the mark, kissing it softly as an unspoken sorry.

⤷ Mikan couldn’t help being so vocal. Every kiss, every suck, every touch, every word muttered forced some sort of sound to spill from her lips. Squeaks, mewls, moans, and even sobs.

⤷ The symphony she provides within the bedroom was one that she assumed she’d be shamed for. Yet you did no such thing. No matter what, you continuously go against the horrors she presumes and shower her in endless bounds of affection.

⤷ Even whispering a sultry you sound so pretty into her ears before brushing your thumb over her clit, drawing out yet another raspy mewl that you claim to adore.

⤷ In the heat of the moment, you smothered her with your praise and care as you made sure she understood the extent to which you loved her; to which you adored her.

⤷ So much so, that she faintly giggles in remembrance of how nervous she was before doing this with you; before indulging in such a lewd act with you.

⤷ But as you’ve always proved to her, any moment shared with you is one to remember; one to cherish.

⤷ And as the two of you approach your oncoming climax together, she smiles through her moans as the bubbling of euphoria erupts within her heart; at that moment, she couldn’t be happier.

➤ NAGITO KOMAEDA

⤷ He’s beyond hesitant; reluctance paints his every move as though he were nothing more than a canvas doused in hues of doubt.

⤷ Despite whether or not he’d been yearning to engage in this sort of intimacy with you, he wouldn’t dare initiate it. His faltering in pursuit due to his negative views of himself.

⤷ He genuinely believes that you don’t want anything to do with him and that touching his worthless, filthy body would disgust you so unfathomably. He fears your rejection, and thus he avoids any possibility of it; he thinks he was already pushing his luck to be in a relationship with you.

⤷ Therefore, you were the one to bring it up to him. You’d asked him of whether or not he’s experienced; if whether or not he’s ever shared an intimacy such as that with another.

⤷ But this question tugged him into a fog of self-pity and humorless amusement. He’d strung together a tangent on how it’d be a miracle if anyone would want to do something like that with scum like him.

⤷ Of course, you weren’t going to allow your lover to put himself down like this. Going back and forth, you continuously declined his claims stating that anyone to do something like that with him would be so lucky.

⤷ At that, he finds something; a flicker. Perhaps it was a flicker of hope that’d planted a seed within his roots of doubt; hope that maybe—just maybe—you’d want to commit such an erotic act with him.

⤷ But he didn’t allow his hope to seep into his words, instead, he cast his gaze towards his lap, falling silent.

⤷ It was then that amidst the silence you had decided that enough was enough, and the amount of stalling you’d done on asking him was ludicrous in contrast to how the two of you were so keen on communication within your relationship.

⤷ Your words hung in the air as a drawn-out mutter, your voiced innermost wants seeping into the atmosphere as you avoided his gaze; would you ever want to do it with me?

⤷ The moment he registered your words, he choked on his spit and whirled his head to meet your eyes with an expression of pure shock.

⤷ He truly couldn’t believe his ears, perhaps his luck had duped him once more and he heard the wrong thing. Eventually, that was what he settled on because, truthfully, he couldn’t believe that he’d heard those daunting words of wishful desires that he’d suppressed his yearns for.

⤷ So he asked you to repeat what you said, the aftermath of his shock dissipating as he assumed he’d simply heard you wrong. Oh, how surprised he was when he heard you utter the same words; would you ever want to do it with me?

⤷ Nagito’s senses felt overwhelmed at that moment. His heart continuously swelled and fluttered at the realization of your words, his ears imaginatively rehearsed your words—fleeting whisper—as though they were lyrics to a catchy tune, his eyes trained on the nervous visage you sported.

⤷ He parted his lips only to close them; he was at a loss for words. What does he say? What could he say?

⤷ Honestly, the shock of your willingness to do something so scandalously sensual with the likes of him was a pill he struggled to swallow.

⤷ It was almost as though he was within the confines of a lucid dream, a dream of great pain, if so. He couldn’t believe it, you actually wanted to make love with him. Him, of all people.

⤷ Realizing that he was taking far too long to respond to the question that clearly took a lot of nerve to voice, he nods his head almost frantically. A blush painting over his pale complexion.

⤷ At his nod, a smile tugged at your lips as you toyed with the hem of your sleeve; a habit Nagito has come to cherish. It was a peculiar tick of yours, yet one he couldn’t help but find adorable.

⤷ To his nod, you leaned forward and pressed your lips against his. Your intentions had been clear from the delicacy of the kiss; it was fleeting, a mere show of your relief and affections.

⤷ Yet as you began to pull away, his hand finds itself residing at the back of your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. This time, it was bundled with passion, unvoiced declarations of devotion.

⤷ The kiss was hasty, a great contrast to what you’d originally meant to initiate. But with the way you feverishly returned his sloppy kisses, you didn’t mind the change of pace.

⤷ It was spontaneous; spurred in the heat of the moment. What began as a soft kiss drastically melted into heated, sweat-glazed bodies pressing against one another; both bare, vulnerable.

⤷ He could feel your chest against his as his heart hammered within his rib cage. He wondered if there was the slightest possibility that you could feel it pulsate, beating for you; his love.

⤷ But despite how far you two had managed to go, naked and dissolving into each sloppy kiss the other engages in, there was still the burdening inkling of doubt; hesitance in every single movement of his.

⤷ Even as his fingers squeezed and rubbed over your skin—grasping at all that he could—there was still that searing fear instilled within him.

⤷ He was scared; so very scared. He was terrified that you’d come to your senses eventually and register the mistake you were in the process of making; letting scum like him commit such a lewd act with you.

⤷ He feared the worst; rejection. And as you pulled him in for another kiss, you could taste the bitter reminisce of uncertainty; of reluctance.

⤷ And you’re painfully aware it won’t be relieved in the span of a mere hour. Nagito’s self-degradation is stemmed from his nearly nonexistent self-worth. The only fragments of such a thing that he possesses are due to your frequent proclamations of adoration towards him; smothering him in compliments.

⤷ But it’ll be a long while before he would ever truly understand his worth; for him to understand that he’s not as lowly as he makes himself out to be.

⤷ So, as he stutters in movement, his hands flinch upon settling on your hips, look convincing himself he was treading amongst forbidden territory.

⤷ The words spilled from your lips without a hitch in beat, your smile accompanying each syllable as you meet his eyes. A sheen of sincerity glimmering in your hues.

⤷ You wanted him to know that you’re doing this with him because you want to, you chose him for a reason. You wanted him to believe that he meant so much to you and that even as you cradle his body against yours, you hold him closest within your heart.

⤷ He was not something for you to throw away once used. This wasn’t the hit-and-go scenario that he fears your intimacy may transpire to be.

⤷ With every declaration of your love for you, your longing for him, your genuine attachment to him, he reclined from your body, his vision blurred with tears in which he attempted to stop.

⤷ Rubbing at his eyes in a futile attempt to hide his tears, a stuttered sob escapes from between his lips. And eventually, his cries seep out akin to a waterfall; the tears wouldn’t stop, his sobs wouldn’t cease, and his heart wouldn’t stop hurting.

⤷ You allowed him to let it out, to let go of the emotions he’d bottled that were long overdue. You gave him what he rightfully deserved; a moment to be vulnerable, to feel human.

⤷ Pressing delicate kisses to his cheek, you kiss away the stray tears as you laid him down, straddling him.

⤷ You continued pressing your lips against his plush skin tinted with rose as he flushed beneath your ever-so gentle care. With every kiss, you whispered a compliment taken straight from the confines of your heart; sincerity within anything you muttered in infatuation of him.

⤷ Your lips continued to travel, pressing against the crevices of his body. The heated compassion of your kisses paired with your praise threatened to bring forth another round of tears from the affection-starved male.

⤷ But you were more than willing to fill in the gaping hole of his heart in which was yearning for love; for some sort of worth.

⤷ You’ll prove to him that you truly love him. You truly care for him with the entirety of your heart, and you’d appreciate him wholeheartedly. Even if it takes years, you’ll push forth and reach that fateful day together.

⤷ And as your body continued to press against one another, whines of lustful desperation swirled with adoration smothering the air, the glaze of love within your eyes had never faltered.

⤷ Even as lust intertwined with the concoction, you never lost the look of genuine care within your gaze. And not a moment passed that Nagito wasn’t peering at the hypnotic sight.

⤷ His eyes fixated on the love in your eyes as the bubbling of another emotion—other than his oncoming climax—blossomed within his stomach.

⤷ Hope; he was familiar with the concept. His rants of such a thing often accompanied by you listening intently, something he found himself falling harder for.

⤷ But as he acknowledged the love in your eyes—the pure devotion of your heart to him and solely him—he felt hope; hope that he could one day understand that feeling towards himself; hope that perhaps he wasn’t a mere throw-away, a stepping stone to others; hope that he can one day shed his hesitance and plunge forward, sure of himself.

⤷ As the two of you finally reached your climax, hands intertwined, your gasps synchronized, Nagito felt hope. And for as long as you stayed with him, he was hopeful that he, too, can truly understand the way you value him.

⤷ But for now, he dissolves the thought and settles for wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his form. Right at that very moment, he felt euphoria; exhilaration. You wanted to do this with him, you wanted him, and he was happily yours.

#sdr2 x reader #dr2 x reader #ndrv3 x reader #drv3 x reader #kokichi x reader #kokichi oma x reader #mikan x reader #mikan tsumiki x reader #nagito x reader #nagito komaeda x reader #kokichi headcanons #mikan headcanons #nagito headcanons #danganronpa hcs #kokichi imagines #mikan imagines #nagito imagines

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sinnamonrolle · 3 years

Text

Headcanons: Endearments [Obey Me!]

❀ gender neutral ❀

! slight spoilers for Belphegor and Solomon !

I was thinking about this for a while, and I really want to share it with everyone else too.

These are gender neutral terms of endearment! And no matter how big you might be, you'll always be their lovely little human being ;)

Here are my headcanons for the terms of endearment from all 12 characters, including my reasoning for them! I had fun thinking about them.

Demon Brothers:

Lucifer

"Vesper", with variations such as "little Vesper" or "my little Vesper"

Lucifer means "Morning Star", and so after some digging online, there's actually a name for the "Evening Star'' as well, which is Vesper. Lucifer and Vesper both refer to the planet Venus, and so the reasoning behind why Lucifer would call you "Vesper'' is because he sees you as his other half, the other side of him. Together, you and him make up the brightest star in the sky.

I suppose it is more of a nickname than a term of endearment, but it's all the same. It's filled with love and adoration for you! No matter the time or place, he will always call you "Vesper" because it is also how he shows his pride in you, but he uses "darling" just as much. Leave it to him to call you his "darling Vesper."

Mammon

"Fortune", "little fortune", "my little fortune"

When you hear Mammon, of course you will think about money and physical possessions. The word "fortune" can be understood as related to the amount of owned assets, but also related to luck, chance, and destiny. So, to Mammon, you are his everything—his human, his wealth, his future. You are priceless in every way, and he’s so lucky, so fortunate to have you.

The endearment “little fortune” comes about accidentally. Mammon blurts it out one day, and he hurries to correct himself because “wait, wait, wait, I didn’t mean little fortune as in the amount because ya ain’t small at all. You’re really big—agh, that’s not what I mean! It sounds cute, okay! Little or big, it doesn’t matter. I won’t ever spend you.”

Leviathan

“Pearl”, “Henry”

I think we all know where “Henry” comes from, but what about “pearl”? Firstly, pearls are from the sea, which Leviathan is strongly related with. Leviathan himself has reptilian features—his snake-like tail, his birthmarks that resemble scales, his coral-like horns—in fact, Leviathan is known as a sea serpent. Pearls are treasures of the sea, and they are extremely beautiful as well. But there is also another connection you can make, this time with East Asian mythology. In East Asian mythology, dragons are often related to the sea, even residing in them. They are long, serpentine, wingless, but they still have two arms and two legs. They also are often depicted with a pearl, and this pearl is very, very important to the dragon. Seeing as Obey Me is a Japanese game, I think connecting Levi with an East Asian dragon isn’t too big of a stretch. Actually, there are many similarities, but there’s no need to dig into it today.

You know how Leviathan is. It will take Levi a long time before he begins using terms of endearment with you because of his insecurity. However, once he feels confident enough in using them, he’s super dramatic (and low-key romantic) with them. He’s watched enough anime and played enough games to know many terms, but is he able to use them? It’ll depend on how comfortable and confident he feels.

Satan

“Precious”, “beloved”, (and of course) “kitten”

Satan is extremely well read. This means that his arsenal is particularly wide. “Kitten” is a term that many of us may find familiar, and understandably so. We all know Satan’s love for cats. But I think Satan, as a being who is born from emotions, is more sensitive to them than others, and they make up an important part of him. Which is why, despite his large arsenal of endearments, he uses the “simpler” ones, but the ones that he does use, there’s a lot of emotions behind them. You are simply precious to him, and the most befitting endearment for it would be “precious”. There is nothing sweeter than a pure “beloved” filled only with love for you.

Asmodeus

“Treasure”, “jewel”, “my love”

If Asmo is the jewel of heaven, then you are the “treasure” of his life. You are as beautiful as a “jewel”, and you reflect the light like a “jewel” as well. The love they show you is reflected back twice as strong. For Asmo, his endearments for you don't come from the physical value behind them. In fact, Asmo himself doesn’t care for treasures or jewels, but out of them all, you are his “treasure”, his “jewel”, his “love”. He puts you equivalent (or maybe even higher) than himself, and he wants to show it to you not only through actions, but words as well.

Beelzebub

“Pudding” (and perhaps, other cute food endearments)

We all know how much Beel loves food, and we all know how much Beel loves his family, and so it’s almost obvious why Beel calls you “pudding.” As a human, you are squishy, squishier than demons, and you are also delicious looking. You smell good, you look good, and the comfort that food brings to Beel is equivalent if not greater than how you soothe and comfort him.

Although, while Beel loves calling you cute endearments, it makes him hungry, so he has to hold back on them. I guess that means more endearments when he’s full, but when he has to cope with his hunger and there’s no food around, Beel calls you by a wonderful amount of endearments. You do have to be careful though! He might decide to sample you. (In what ways? Who knows, heh.)

Belphegor

“My little sun”, “little sun”

He doesn’t call you his “little sun” because you are little, but because Beel is his bigger sun. Beel was in his life first, and then you came. But the order doesn’t really matter to Belphie because you are still a very important sun to him. In the twins’ bedroom, Beel has a sun motif on his side, and Belphie has a moon motif. Belphie is more comfortable with the darkness (literally and figuratively), so to him, you are his light that shines through and guides him to a better place. You are everything that he needs to survive.

Belphie’s trauma has affected him greatly, even if it doesn’t seem like it. So it takes a long time until he gets really attached to you, but when he does, he can’t live without you. Calling you his little sun is placing you in his heart, at the same level as Beel (Or perhaps even higher).

Other Demons:

Diavolo

“Little gold nugget”, “gold nugget”, “nugget”, “little nugget”

Contrary to how it may first sound, “little gold nugget” isn’t to diminish your value or your worth. To Diavolo, who probably has a low-key obsession with gold, “little gold nugget” is super adorable. He’s also never really been called an endearment before, nor has he ever called someone by one, so this is all new territory to him. Also, as a future king and a prince, everyone is important to him as his citizens. Diavolo is the king above all nuggets, but you in particular are his “little gold nugget.” He also wants you to call him by an endearment, a term only used for him, but that is something for you to decide on.

Barbatos

The closest thing to an endearment would be “Your Grace” for Barbatos. “Puffling”, if you can get him drunk enough (I’m somewhat joking here).

If you’re expecting something else, I’m afraid Barbatos is too polite, too cautious to simply throw around the usual terms of endearment. In fact, I think from the way Barbatos is, he turns a way of addressing nobility into an endearment for you only. However, if you do manage to worm an endearment out of him, he will jokingly call you a “puffling” after baby puffins. I think he finds them adorable, but it isn’t a serious endearment. Barbatos won’t be caught dead calling you a “puffling”—not because he doesn't want to—but because it’s not at all appropriate. He has an image to keep.

Angels:

Simeon

“Little sparrow”, “little droplet”, “little lamb”

“Little lamb” is a familiar term, and “little sparrow” is also something Simeon calls you. A sparrow represents many wonderful things, like joy, love, good fortune, luck, and so on, and Simeon considers you every one of those things and more. Like sparrows, droplets are also fragile—ephemeral in their lives. Droplets fall and disappear so easily. But droplets also signify uniqueness in that one droplet is separated from other collections of water. To Simeon, you stand out among others. You are wonderful, joyful, full of life, and so, so beautiful.

Luke

“Lamb” (perhaps “lambling”? I’m really unsure.)

He means it in a platonic way!! Like a guardian angel to a baby human, except that baby human is you.

We all see Luke as a child, but Luke, in this case, doesn’t see himself as one. He’s way, way older than you, and so while he is still immature among other angels, he’s lived way longer than you have. It might seem weird to have him call you an endearment, but you are a lamb in his eyes—pure, kind, gentle. You are someone who must be protected! And so while Luke doesn’t use endearments too much with you, he will use it when he’s feeling a little playful or dramatic. He prefers your own name because he loves how it sounds.

Human:

Solomon

“Little star”, “breadcrumbs” (as a joke)

Solomon has lived for who knows how long. As a human who has lived for that long, his mentality towards certain things might be a bit different from a regular human. Attachment is difficult for him due to his lifespan, and this is reflected in his attitude. Many people are fleeting in his life. The mundane becomes hard to appreciate after so long. Even memories erode after a lifetime. There is no particularly heavy sentiment behind “little star”, but he has begun to consider you as a part of his destiny, a star in the constellation of his life. And like a star, you appear so far away from him, so unapproachable due to how you are always surrounded by others. He can only appreciate you from afar, until you let him close.

“Breadcrumbs” is a lighthearted endearment that he once heard somewhere in the human world. When he calls you “breadcrumbs”, he doesn’t mean anything at all by it, only that it sounds absolutely ridiculous but also so adorable at the same time. It’s an amusing endearment he heard in his long, long life. “It’s the joy in the little things, and breadcrumbs are exactly that—little things,” Solomon will say, but no need to take him seriously. You will always be the star twinkling brightly in his life.

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Feel free to add what you think the characters would use as terms of endearment! I wanted something special for each character, so that's why this post was made lol

(If there are any errors, I will catch them sooner or later. Please, don't mind them.)

Masterlist!

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highfaelucien · 3 years

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While on the topic of wishing sjm had done something different for her characters, I really wanted something more for cassian. For example, cassian’s wings going from being completely ruined in the end of acomaf to being 100% healed in acowar made no sense to me. I think it would’ve been an opportunity for the growth of cassian’s character to see him go through the loss of losing the ability to fly and instead retrain himself to be a warrior in other ways and find other things about himself that prove his own worth to himself. Given the fact that cassian’s confidence is aligned with his ability to protect and serve others, it just would have been sooo good to see him overcome his grief and become even stronger of a character. And how wings, in general, are a sense of male pride among illyrians. I think this would’ve been the perfect way to write cassian and have him break away from his own idea of masculinity. He could have redefined what it meant for him to be a Man ™. Ugh, it just could have been so GOOD, imagine the character we could have gotten from him.

Listen, after ACOMAF, when this happened, EVERYONE was buzzing about this. Most people thought he wouldn't outright lose his wings permanently, but there would be a LOT required.

And then ACOWAR came and approximately nothing happened whatsoever. Oh he had to be healed. the healer had to rebuild his wings. he had to do strength training every day. But fundamentally: not a sausage.

Personally? I think Maas chickend out. I think she was unable to commit to taking Cassian's wings, or figuring out how to write him as anything other than what she's established him as: fun jock man who likes to hit things real hard and make dick jokes sometimes.

Having to see Cassian vulnerable? Having to see him broken, and struggling, and having to reevaluate his entire life and self-esteem and sense of masculinity would have been an incredible option for a character arc.

Most of the theorising/Nessian fics involved Nesta helping him. The two of them being broken/fundamentally altered by their experiences in Hybern - she being killed and Made with a dark power, Cassian losing his wings.

There was expected bonding over that, peeling away the masks they both wear to discover the softness underneath. The two of them being able to reach one another, because of their bond, in a way the others could not. It produced some pretty epic stuff, honestly.

And how badly I wanted that I didn't FULLY realise until the disappointment of ACOSF, when it hit fully.

Because instead of stripping Cassian back and seeing the tactician, the strategist, forcing him to put his other skills to use, to develop those skills, rather than 'smash with sword and ask questions later'. This man is a General. All the combat training in the world doesn't let you be good at this job if you can't command, if you can't use tactics, if you can't strategise.

And THIS is where I wanted to see Nesta. Nesta, the woman who calculated how many ships would be needed to save the humans of Prythian. The woman who looked at Greysen's manor and assessed its capabilities and saw a prison. The woman who devours history novels, who has a tactical, cunning mind. Who has never been a warrior or a creature of brute strength or physical abilities.

THIS is how I wanted to see Nesta evolve. This was how I wanted to see her develop. I didn't want her taken out of lady's dresses. I didn't want her forced into fighting leathers, to basically become another copy of her sister, and follow down that path.

I wanted her to take her own. I wanted her to finally be in a place where she could learn, and strategise, and contribute. And I wanted her to work with Cassian on this - who was grounded because of his wings, who couldn't command on the frontlines anymore, or even fight. Who had to stay back, and see how he handled this. How he maintained his authority. How he maintained his sanity without his wings.

We could have had so fucking much. Such a powerful narrative about survival. I wanted her in the library, with the other survivors, (and with fucking MORRIGAN - not sidelined, not dismissed, not being bitchy and catty for the sake of it. But someone who visits the library frequently, who interacts with the women there, and sometimes just is a woman there herself, because there are still hard days.)

But no. No instead of something nuanced, and original, and actually tailored to Nesta's strengths as a character, we got Yet Another Weapon's Trainng Montage.

We got the narrative that the only way to heal from abuse is to be able to beat the shit out of your abusers. Because that's #GirlPower, right?

It makes me so furious I almost want to just. Just fucking rewrite the whole damn fucking thing myself the way it SHOULD have gone.

And I know you talked about Cassian and not Nesta, so I do apologise, but they were tied together. But I agree.

We all wanted Cassian to evolve from that 'Lord of Bloodshed' / "savage brute" because reading between the lines and forcing some nuance from these books, which is the only way to survive: Cassian has a lot of layers. There's a lot of trauma there. A lot of insecurity. A lot of angst. A lot of heart. A lot of fucking INTELLIGENCE. (I'll fight on that point, I really will. Cassian is not a dumb himbo who can barely add 1 and 1).

But sjm was too busy writing him having a hard on for Nesta to explore....anything about himself. Or his relationship with Azriel, and Rhys, and Mor, and everyone else.

The removal (even temporarily) of his wings would have allowed for a LOT of that exploration.

Firstly, the fact that he injured them by CHOICE, saving Azriel's life. That would have been such a deep connection and bond between them. The guilt that Az would feel - but the potential for Cassian to step in, even with his wings gone, and say that he'd do it again.

Because Azriel is his brother. He loves him. And it was worth it. It would be worth it a hundred times over to save him. Because he's worth saving. And he's worth sacrificing for. And what that would have done for Az as a character, too. Who always offers himself up first for dangerous missions, puts himself in peril to protect the others.

And having Cassian join Feyre and Az's flying lessons? Because Cass having to relearn how to fly once (if) his wings healed to that extent, means letting Azriel train him. Because those old instincts aren't enough. And he has to learn how to strengthen them, and train with them. And how this affects his perception of himself and his masculinity, as he said. But also deepening his understanding for Az, and the bond the two of them share, in having this experience together.

Bonding with Rhys, who FINALLY fucking opens up to someone and has some nuanced therapy-like conversations about what happened with Amarantha. The sacrifces they've made for their people. How they'd do it again but it still hurts, and changes them, and how they have to learn and grow and move on from that and heal together.

Rhys working with Cassian on his other talents, using him as the skilled strategist and tactician he MUST be. Helping him to develop that, keeping his brother from losing his mind while he can't fight or use his physicality to solve problems, as he usually does.

Mor personally healing and tending to Cassian. Mor being there at his bedside every day while he was bed bound. Mor becoming as possessive and overprotective of both him and Az as any mate ever has been.

Mor speaking to him about her own rehabilitation after what her family did to her, the physical toll that took on her. Mor's heart breaking because she nearly lost both him and Az and she couldn't handle that at all. Mor reiterating how much she fucking loves him, and how she needs him.

Mor helping him through the darker days of his depression because she's been there. And she knows what it is to put on a front. To always be laughing, and joking, without the seriousness of life -leave that to the others. But sometimes it's too much and he needs to break down. And be angry. And furious. And hopeless. And scared. And that's what she's there for. Because she understands.

Mor winnowing him to his favourite spots that he can't fly to anymore, just so he can be there. The two of them spending time, and bonding, and developing that relationship we got in ACOMAF beyond 'we bicker constantly and drink together and make sexual innuendos'.

Even Amren showing up and doing her part. Snapping at him to stop brooding so much. But also bringing him some of her puzzles. Some of her favourite military history books (which she has anotated and edited to highlight the bits that have been incorrectly reported). Spending time with him to stop him going mad. Exhausting herself those first few days personally attending to Cassian's wings, and snarling at anyone who tried to interfere.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH.

IT COULD HAVE DEVELOPED SO MUCH WITH THE INNER CIRCLE. AND CASSIAN. AND NESSIAN. AND JUST. EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER BUT NAW. IT WAS BASIC ASS AND BORING AND I'M GONNA DIE MAD ABOUT IT.

183 notes · View notes

butwhatifidothis · 3 years

Text

Tumblr is starting to VERY MUCH dislike how long the other reblog chain is getting, so this will be Reblog Chain 2 of my jotting down notes of this fic. Here is the first reblog chain for Chapters 1-20

But it appears as though I was correct in sleeping off Chapter 20, because Chapter 21 is. Hm. bad. Very. Not good.

Chapter 21:

Transcript under the cut:

Chapter 21: It's Called Scars so it Gonna Be Ass

- To be blunt, the constant need to reaffirm that yes, Edelgard went through terrible experimentation and that yes, they were very horrific, is tiring. This is chapter 21. The experiments occurred in chapter 2. Every single chapter between now and then have, at some point, mentioned that INDEED, Edelgard DID in fact go through horrific trauma. It is tiring to the reader to constantly have to reread the same thing - we know it happened. We know it was terrible. There's no need to constantly say so; we already understand as readers.

- "Every time the spark of life broke through Byleth’s blank face, it brought a flickering hope to the Flame Emperor’s heart." ->

- Firstly: Awkward use of the Flame Emperor epithet (its usage is on and off with how appropriate its been - this is off).

- Secondly: Once again, Byleth's face was rarely if ever blank. She was never the Ashen Demon, as even the last chapter showcased. The author is mistaking reservation with emotionlessness, which is simply wrong

- "There had been so many empty days and nights, without friendship, love or joy. With nothing to hope for, except someday, the peace of the grave." -> Suicidal tendencies: another trait that Edelgard doesn't have... (strikes against canon: 89)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 12

- "Dimitri, too, was troubled by the thought, grasping the side of his head and frowning. As the spasm passed, he turned to Edelgard and smiled warmly." -> It seems a little callous to so casually toss Dimitri's symptoms into his interactions with others when such things simply don't occur in the canon interactions. It's not impossible, or strictly against canon, but it does not feel natural; it's more as though the author is shining bright neon signs that say DIMITRI HAS MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES than a genuine attempt at writing Dimitri's mental health issues. This is not the first time this sort of seemingly thoughtless showcasing of symptoms has happened (Noted separately: Dimitri having drastic mood swings)

- "No, this world must be ruled by humans…not cruel gods who ignored the prayers of little girls." -> This statement follows Edelgard internally chastising the actions of not gods, but the Children of the Goddess. This is a weaselly attempt at dodging Edelgard's racist beliefs that Nabateans should not be allowed positions of power by shifting the belief to apply to miscellaneous gods instead. While not inaccurate per se - she does also canonically believe that gods should have no power in human affairs - it is not honest

- "Byleth nodded with childlike simplicity. “We should all try to get along.”" -> Again describing Byleth as childlike and/or innocent. Counter: 3

- For those curious: yes, the rat scene is implemented, yes it is sloppy, yes it is out of character for Claude - so much so that it is being noted separately - and yes it is forced to all hell

- What will be noted here, however, is that this is yet another instance of a man being demeaned/humiliated for the honor of a woman. See quote: "Byleth was on him in an instant, a tempest forming in the sea of her blue eyes. “That isn’t funny.” She crossed her arms sternly. “Jokes are about bringing people together...about making them smile. Right now, the only person laughing is you.”" with Claude reacting awkwardly. Once again, Man Bad Woman Good

- In a showcasing of a complete lack of self-awareness within the fic: "“Maybe if you’d have taught the Deer instead…but since you seem to have no ambitions outside of cleaning up Edelgard’s messes…”" -> This is Claude being portrayed as the bad guy, not the one being completely and utterly right

- " She slapped Edelgard on the back, and smiled heartily. “I agree, Dimitri!” Edelgard grimaced, trying to hide the fact her teacher had just struck the wound she had received during the mock battle." -> As well as where undoubtedly countless scars would be, yes? Scars that still cause Edelgard pain? In fact, Edelgard has been slapped on the back by Byleth and Jeralt numerous times before, and yet expresses no pain or discomfort.

- Another thing, that I had not noted though ought to have: Edelgard, a victim of sexual assault (in this fic), rarely seems to mind people touching her. She gets a little surprised if someone tries to get her attention with touch, yes, but Byleth's constant unprompted and random touching of Edelgard is never said to do anything but bring warmth and joy and comfort to Edelgard. It seems as though Edelgard suffering through sexual assault is just another source of trauma for the author to dump onto her for nothing more than pity points

- This is incredibly harsh to say, yes, and I would usually refrain from attributing such harshness onto a piece of text, but remember that Edelgard's scars only cause her pain when it's convenient, that she only experiences headaches when it's convenient, that she experiences PTSD episodes (when Claude mentions the rat) when it's convenient (note that in this fic he does it outside of battle, where her getting triggered wouldn't compromise her chances at victory). Edelgard not being touch averse and being a victim of sexual assault are not inherently something bad - survivors react to trauma differently, after all - but it is another in a steadily longer line of instances where Edelgard is simply given trauma for the sake of making her pitiable to the reader and the love interest, not something that Edelgard genuinely has to struggle with.

- "As Claude and Dimitri looked at their classmate expectantly, Edelgard was wracked with another bout of guilt. Deep in her soul, the princess knew these peaceful days would end soon. When that happened, no feast or vows of friendship could make up for the chaos and horror she would unleash. It would be better to pull away, close off her heart, rather than fuel the flames of her inevitable betrayal." -> Aka, "Feel bad for me, I feel guilty for planning to cause the death and ruination of countless innocents' lives all because I convinced myself that my way is the only way to get things done my way without ever actually trying to see if more peaceful ways could have worked. I'm going to orphan children, force families to fight each other, have the land be rampaged by banditry, and overall bring chaos onto these days that I ADMIT ARE PEACEFUL all because I feel that my way would be better. Wah wah pity me but I don't wanna be pitied I promise wah wah."

- "Byleth shrugged with a characteristic blend of innocence and spirit. “I guess I just like winning.” She began to blush and grabbed Edelgard’s hand. "It's so exciting! I’ve never had anyone other than Papa to celebrate with before!”" -> Byleth = innocent/childlike. Counter: 4

- The fic likes to reaffirm again and again that Byleth is "now" only acting like this due to Edelgard's presence in her life. Note also these statements written previously: "Every day, [Edelgard] was watching the person she loved grow and change. Become who she always was supposed to be." This, perhaps unintentionally, again enforces the "Lesbian Love is Pure and Innocent" trope; these wlw are only allowed to be their good girl, innocent selves - who they were always supposed to be - due to the pure lesbian love they have found with one another

- Count Bergliez didn't know of the experiments initially, but he eventually found out and did nothing to stop them, fleeing from a young and tortured El who was pleading for him to save her - Unnecessarily painting Count Bergliez as a spineless coward too afraid of Duke Aegir to save a child in pain

- Once again, a man fails to save a woman and further traumatizes her

- It should be noted that Bergliez is fearful not for his own life, but for that of his children, who were the ones Duke Aegir threatened. He, very similar to Ionius, cannot save Edelgard, except Bergliez (unlike Ionius) has a tangible, physical, explainable reason as to why he couldn't, and yet it is him who is painted as the bad guy, not Ionius. He is worthy of Edelgard's scorn and hatred, but Ionius only receives a begrudging feeling of betrayal from Edelgard that she feels guilty for harboring, even though he failed her far more than Bergliez failed her.

- "Daughters must always be loyal to their fathers" trope

- "No decent person thought the things Edelgard did. Just as her body had been twisted and shattered by the experiments, her mind bore terrible scars. Scars that the monster kept hidden, so she could walk in the world of men." -> Dehumanizing oneself as a monster as well as having violent thoughts (that specifically stem from trauma) one feels guilty for harboring are not traits Edelgard shows in canon... (strikes against canon, 90, 91)

- ...but Dimitri does. Counter: 13, 14

- "world of men?" Did the author perhaps mean "world of man," as in mankind? Keep note of

- The reason as to why Bergliez is said to have witnessed young El's tortured state and did nothing to help her is revealed: in canon, he dislikes her. It is blatantly and objectively said that he and Edelgard share a mutual displeasure in the other's company. What this fic had him do will be used as an excuse as to why he doesn't hate her, since no one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Edelgard, upon being asked if revenge is the reason she is doing what she's doing (reuniting Fodlan): "“No.” Edelgard put her hand to her chin thoughtfully. “I think for a long time, it was…but after a while, I realized that revenge wouldn’t satisfy me.” She looked at the blue sky above. “After you go through that much suffering…when you beg for help, day after day, and no one cares...you realize that nothing will ever truly make you feel safe again. The only thing I want is for this madness to end.”" -> This is internally inconsistent. See chapter 15 note: ""You know why they created me in the first place.” / “To reunite Fódlan,” spat Hubert. “It was all my father talked about.” / “And I will give it to them. "" This directly connects Edelgard's want to reunite Fodlan to the wants of her tormenters (as this states she is doing it out of spite). Note how Hubert spits at the idea of reuniting Fodlan, and how it was all his father - portrayed as a villain - talked about. This is not what this Edelgard wants, at least not of her own independent want. Earlier in this very chapter, Edelgard internally states a want to hurt Bergliez for leaving her behind. To say that she now no longer thinks vengeance would satisfy her, or that none of the reason that she is doing everything she does is out of a want for revenge, is ridiculous

- Edelgard to Bergliez, upon being asked what will happen to him and his family should Edelgard rise to power: "“All those who distinguish themselves will be rewarded. Given your history, I have little doubt you will be among them.” She nervously played with her white gloves. “All I ask is that when I seize back control of the throne, I can count on the military’s support.”" -> Yes, all who distinguish themselves to Edelgard, for Edelgard's cause, that Edelgard can see and/or know of. How likely is it that a poor farmer who is exceptional at fighting will actually be noticed by Edelgard and be given the credit he deserves, when others who may not be as meritable but do have some merit have the connections to show themselves directly in front of Edelgard? What means will Edelgard give the poor soldiers (that she or Byleth aren't already friends with, notably Dorothea and Leonie) that will allow them to be able to be seen by her and have their merits recognized? Edelgard is the one who says who gains power after all, so it is her they must prove themselves to, but how can they realistically do that?

- What about professions that are not immediately beneficial to Edelgard's cause, such as the arts? How will they fare in Edelgard's society, when their works and talents yield no tangible, objective results (such as, say, farming)?

- Something the fic will address?

- Edelgard does not nervously do anything in front of those she is trying to negotiate with in canon, not even Thales. Strikes against canon: 92

- "[Bergliez] could only laugh in response. “I think we’re going to get along rather well, my lady…and the other?”" -> Except Bergliez and Edelgard don't get along well, ever. Pre ts they are stated to dislike each other, which continues even onto post ts with Bergliez being the only noble Edelgard couldn't bring to heel. Strikes against canon: 93

- As predicted: No one is allowed to dislike Edelgard on the "good" side

- Literally forgot Hubert was with Edelgard and Bergliez lmao

- Ionius tried to consolidate power to be rid of the consort system due to his unending love for Anselma -> A ridiculous idea, plain and simple. Ionius was Emperor. If he wished to be rid of the consort system there was no need for him to try and take away all power from the other Imperial houses.

- If Ionius truly loved Anselma, why did he allow her to be exiled from the Empire? Why didn't he step in and use his influence as Emperor to help her?

- Edelgard, when she is Emperor - passed down a supposedly empty crown, at that - showcases the all-encompassing power the title of Emperor truly holds to one willing to use that power. That Ionius supposedly wanted to do all of these reforms and yet nothing at all was done, ever (save for ruining Houses Hrym and Ordelia, something even this fic has as canon), if Ionius did want to make these reforms, means that he was too spineless and cowardly to truly go through with trying to pass them. This again unintentionally showcases how awful a ruler and weak-willed a person Ionius was when he had power when trying to paint him in this righteous light.

- Lambert was stated to be trying to pass reforms before he died in canon, not Ionius. From parents to the children, the author is attributing traits from Lambert onto Ionius just as he (author's confirmed gender is male) attributes traits from Dimitri onto Edelgard

- " Her father and mother…she had thought their romance a fairy tale-a story from her father to make a motherless child feel valued. But…they truly had loved each other." -> Edelgard does believe Ionius when he told her of the story of when he and Anselma (supposedly) met each other. There is nothing to indicate that Edelgard thought it to be a lie: in fact, in canon: "But I choose to believe there was genuine love between them." Strikes against canon: 94

- It seems as though finally, after around 18 chapters, Edelgard's scars will finally cause her genuine inconvenience due to her complex about them as well as her trust issues. She has a gash on her back from the Battle of Eagle and Lion, but will not have it treated if Manuela isn't the healer, and yet the woman is occupied dealing with the rest of the students who were injured. How will this fic deal with this?

- Ingrid, referring to her and Sylvain: ""We just switched from Felix lecturing us all day to listening to Edelgard moralizing, didn’t we?"" -> The author is trying to compare a childhood friend whose friends have had years to get used to their barbed tongue to a stranger that directly insults the dreams of one of them. Something which Ingrid canonically hates having be done to her, even from Felix, a childhood friend. Once again, Ingrid being so casual about Edelgard being so disrespectful of her dreams is out of character. Strikes against canon: 95

- "Sylvain shook his head knowingly, ignoring Felix’s truly alarming scowl. “You should have seen his face, Edelgard. Dimitri would go on and on about this girl he met when he was a kid…and Felix would complain about her for hours!” He looked at Felix and smiled. “For all his whining about the “Boar,” nobody loves Dimitri more than him.”" -> Oh? A romantic gay male relationship presenting itself within the fic?

- Another vision of SS experienced by Edelgard. Word from a nameless guard: "The woman, Byleth, leading their forces... She’s not human! She killed half my battalion with one swing of that sword of hers. She didn’t speak, she didn’t shout, she didn’t even change her expression!” The panicked man was teetering on the edge of hysteria. “All those people rallying around her, and it’s like she doesn’t care at all. Like she's a walking corpse!"" -> Obviously saying that Byleth becomes the Ashen Demon if not allowed to be with Edelgard.

- Unintentional statement: Byleth can't be the pure innocent (lesbian) woman without Edelgard's (lesbian) love granting her purity, reverting her to a monstrous, corrupt demon incapable of humanity

- See chapter 20 note: "Implying that choosing SS - aka, choosing the Nabateans - makes Byleth less human. Intentional?" Confirmed to be intentional. Also false: in canon, even when accounting for CF's lesser chapter count, Byleth emotes far more on SS than on CF, which matches with CF having Edelgard call Byleth detached in their A support. Strikes against canon: 96

- The same nameless soldier, same context: "And those Faerghus kids…” / Edelgard leaned forward in her chair. “Ingrid…Sylvain…what of them?” / “They…they were animals. Screaming and ranting about revenge for the King.” -> Is the author really demonizing Sylvain and Ingrid for (potentially!) being mad at Edelgard for murdering one of their childhood friends? Is that really the depths the Edelgard worship will sink to, that friends becoming enraged at a friend's unjust murder from a warlord is being portrayed as something sad for the warlord? Just what else should Edelgard be pitied for?

- "The scared girl desperately tried to drown out the thoughts that reverberated incessantly. / They’re going to despise us…it’s destiny. And how could they not? If we were truly good, the Goddess would have saved us…protected us. But She didn’t. The Goddess took Mother. She took our family. And soon, She’ll take everything else we love. She hates us. / It’s what we deserve." - Now confirmed that Edelgard hears multiple voices in her head tormenting her. That trait that, once again, Edelgard does not have... (Strikes against canon: 97)

- ...but Dimitri does. This is the third time this chapter that this has happened, and far from the only chapter to display such baffling characterization of Edelgard via Dimitri's traits. It is nonsensical.

- " Why had [Edelgard] even been born at all? Nonexistence would have been preferable to watching every faint dream be dashed, to suffering alone over and over. She was just…so tired of being alive." -> Once. Again. Suicidal tendencies/thoughts is not a trait Edelgard shows in canon... (Strikes against canon: 98)

- ...but Dimitri does. The fourth! The fourth time in one chapter the author desperately wanted to just write Dimitri!

- If the fic wanted to take Edelgard in a different direction than canon does and has her display some of these traits, it would be more passable, but this fic is under the delusion that it is in any way following canon closely, especially in regards to Edelgard, and so this can only be seen as a desperate attempt from the author to have Edelgard be sympathetic by donning the skin of an actually sympathetic character such as Dimitri

- "Edelgard looked at herself in the mirror. The back of her academy uniform was stained red, the rhythmic, soft dripping of blood assaulting the princess’ ears." -> And no one commented on this? No one was worried? Not Ingrid, Sylvain, and Felix, who were sitting right by her? Not Lysithea, who saw her take the blow to her back and never get it healed? Not Dimitri, who delivered the blow? It just so happened that literally no one at all noticed this?

- Byleth literally slapped Edelgard on the back earlier? Wouldn't her hand come back red with blood if it were seeping through the uniform?

** The scene that follows the previous note is too long to quote, despite how truly terrible it is. Long quotes, even extremely long quotes, have been presented in these notes before, but the length this quotation would be if the full extent of it were written here would be a mess, and quite frankly, at that point it would do one better to simply go to the fanfiction itself and read the text from there. With the context received from these notes, if one wishes to see the words for themselves, go to chapter 21 of The Emperor and the Goddess, enter Ctrl + F (or Find in Page on mobile devices), and enter the phrase "Byleth crossed her arms, clearly frustrated" verbatim. The following note will not be quoting the entire scene from the fic (merely summarizing it), though context is needed to understand how truly bad the scene is. **

- To have hope in this fic performing anything correctly is proving to be a fool's dream, for it has yet to do anything right; that includes the aforementioned gash upon Edelgard's back. As stated, it did not draw the attention of those who were sitting around her nor did it draw the attention of the one who witnessed the injury itself, nor of the one who delivered the injury itself, so no one commented on the gaping, bleeding wound Edelgard was "hiding" from everyone as she turned her (bleeding) back to them and left for the baths to clean up (it must be heavily stressed: immediately after leaving it is revealed that the blood is seeping through her uniform). As she was washing - naked, of course - Byleth just so happened to step into the baths with only a towel wrapped around her "for modesty," much to the horror of Edelgard, for she does not want Byleth seeing her scarred body. A slight argument arises between the two over Edelgard getting her injuries checked, before Byleth warns Edelgard that she will go to Rhea and force her to go to the infirmary should Edelgard continue to refuse treatment, which drives Edelgard past the brink. She raises her arms from the bathwater and presents her scars (""Fine!... If you want to see so badly, here!""), to the horror of Byleth ("Byleth Eisner was not a woman given to strong emotional reactions, but she staggered back, hands over her mouth."). Edelgard cries in hysteria, fear of her beloved teacher running away in disgust over her ugly, mutilated body overwhelming her. But Byleth, childlike in her innocence, shared that she too is scarred in strange ways, and that she too is scared of failing those around her - that she has no ambitions save to help and protect those around her. Byleth reveals that it is Edelgard whom Byleth looks up to for always being so strong and always moving forward, and shows that without Edelgard Byleth wouldn't know how to handle the pressure everyone else puts on her. The exchange ends with Byleth reassuring Edelgard that she is beautiful and not the monster she thinks she is.

- There is no nice way of putting this: this is a classic example of how not to write someone opening up to another about something. Edelgard views herself as weak, ugly, repulsive, a monster, shameful, but it is Byleth's love and affection that gives her comfort and warmth, that gives her hope of something more. It forces Byleth to behave wildly out of character (the author can try to excuse this with "well she wouldn't normally behave like this!" all he wants, it doesn't matter when it goes against the base, canonical Byleth. Strikes against canon: 99) in order for Edelgard's scarred body to be seen as something that is repulsive, that is ugly, that is stained, so much so that the pure, childlike, innocent Byleth couldn't stand to see something so tainted. And yet it is that same pure, childlike, innocent Byleth's pure, innocent, childlike love that pushes away the pain of Edelgard's scars for just that moment. Other characters become suddenly blind and/or forgetful of Edelgard's obvious, bleeding wound so that it is Byleth who can be the one to save Edelgard with her pure, innocent, childlike presence and her pure, innocent, childlike uncertainty about her own insecurities (but only when it is convenient for Edelgard, as even Byleth didn't noticed the gaping, bleeding wound until she was alone with Edelgard where no one could interrupt their bonding moment). This scene is inorganic and forced, ham-fisting Edelgard and Byleth in the same room - the wash room, where both are either naked or nearly naked - so that Byleth is the one to find Edelgard, no one else. No one was worried enough about the sudden exit Edelgard took from the conversation she was having to follow her and make sure she was alright, and Byleth just so happened to enter the baths right after Edelgard. The scene is, to be frank, insulting.

- There have been a couple of joking references to a book titled Stones to Abigail in these notes, but in all seriousness, this scene plays unsettlingly similar to a scene in said book, where a scarred girl who is naked reveals her "ugly" and "revolting" scarred body to the love interest, who goes on to soothe and comfort the naked girl as best they can. The resemblance is uncanny

- Byleth described as childlike/innocent. Counter: 5

- Edelgard, in canon, never expresses feeling herself to be ugly, or repulsive, or a monster. Strikes against canon: 100

- Again, Edelgard's scars are only important when they are convenient - this time, in helping develop the romantic relationship between her and Byleth

- There are ways in which scars can be utilized without being problematic, but certainly not when this much focus is placed on them and yet they are only truly present when they cannot hinder Edelgard.

- Perhaps particularly insulting is this phrase from Edelgard: "Did she actually love Byleth at all, or just being saved by her?" Yes, Edelgard, you do simply want to be saved by Byleth, because that is precisely what the narrative has been drilling into the reader's heads ever since Byleth showed herself. Byleth is Edelgard's light, Byleth is Edelgard's hope, Byleth gives Edelgard back her humanity, Byleth is Edelgard's one source of joy, Byleth is Edelgard's entire life, and nothing, absolutely nothing in this fic has shown this to ever be a bad thing. This dependence on Byleth to bring Edelgard joy at the near complete expense of everyone else has been propped up as something romantic, and yet it's now, 21 chapters and over 85K+ words in, that we're supposed to believe that this was actually Edelgard being unhealthy? Even though the author himself said that this was what he enjoyed about their relationship, how much they found each other in each other? Even though we see what the author thinks would happen to the two of them should they separate - Edelgard, lonely and afraid without her beloved teach, and Byleth, the Ashen Demon who cares for nothing without her beloved student - in her visions of SS? This is a joke

- It cannot be overstated that Byleth came to the bathhouses completely independently of Edelgard. She did not come to specifically see her because she followed her out of worry for Edelgard due to her injury - she only knows that Edelgard's injured in the first place due to seeing bloody bandages that Edelgard removed in the bathhouse, before Byleth arrived.

- Author's notes: "On Bergliez, we find out very little in-game, but he 1) offers himself for execution so his men can go free in SS and 2) seems to be actually competent at his job. I thought a nuanced portrayal was more interesting, since I've been writing Aegir as the absolute worst person in the world." -> Note: this is what the author believes to be a nuanced take on someone. Someone who likes Edelgard entirely and does nearly whatever they can to help her, but they did one thing that's morally gray (leaving a child behind to save his own children from the same fate) that is portrayed as objectively bad, so now they are nuanced. While perhaps this sort of character would be truly nuanced in better hands, as it is with his actions being portrayed as something that is obviously so completely and utterly wrong and him someone who deserves complete and utter condemnation - and yet Ionius, who does far worse for far less understandable reasons, gets a comparative slap on the wrist - it causes confusion as to Edelgard's lines. Bergliez seeing her the one time and never helping her is enough for her to want to hurt him as she was hurt, but her father repeatedly coming to and "being forced" to watch her actively be tortured and doing nothing does little to invoke similar depths of resentment? Even granting the idea that "she gives more slack to her father," Ionius is objectively and far worse than Bergliez, down to doing hard things to protect their children, and yet it is only Bergliez who is shined in this unpleasant a light

- To be clear, Bergliez's decision was not a good one, but understandable. It is a gray decision to make. But notice how he is called "gray" and "nuanced" and yet Ionius is nearly completely innocent, as described by the author himself, despite their being no given explaination as to why "he was a figurehead" should be a good enough reason to wash him literally standing there and watching as his children - some of whom aren't even teens yet - get slowly tortured and killed.

- "There are many localization changes I understand (Byleth wanting to get drunk after the battle is one of them), but Treehouse's decision to remove Ionius' entire reason for power centralization (eliminating the consorts) was a big, big mistake." -> Given the history of this author's grasp on the Japanese language, this needs to be checked, as he cannot be trusted as a source as to whether this is true

******* Notes of Claude mischaracterization: Chapter 21, section 1, paragraphs 1, 21 & 23, 27 *******

#o captain my captain #is the Cap'n's name fuckin' Greg holy shit #this chapter was baaaaad #b-but hey maybe i'm just being overly critical?

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prose-for-hire · 3 years

Text

Just the two of you

Pairing: Angel x reader

Request: could you write something where the reader and the character (i honestly cant decide which one. you choose) are in a relationship but the scoobies dont know they even know each other, so they always just assumed their signifs were somebody else? and they are always gushing to the scoobies about their datemates, and the gang finds out zhese two are together at the end….?

Requested by: Anonymous

A/N: I loved this request, it only took so long because you gave me too much choice trying to pick someone to write about !! I’m very indecisive but I ended up choosing Angel 💜🖤

You had fallen in love. Ridiculously fast but it didn’t make it any less real. You adored him. Would lay your life for him. He had been unsure, not willing to subject you to himself and all the baggage that came with his existence to begin with. Until he realised just how happy you could both be when you were together. How your mood dipped when he tried to distance himself.

All he wanted was for you to be happy and he soon realised that this could only happen when you were together. But you kept it intimate, something just for yourselves.

He had been given an experimental cure for his curse and for the most part, it seemed to be going really well. Because he knew for certain that if it wasn’t working he would have lost his soul a long time ago.

Just looking at you gave him this feeling of true happiness. It had almost been a year and he had never been so happy. It was all because of you.

You were more outgoing than him, would speak your mind easier. Communicate with him freely. This had helped him open up more, feel that you really wanted to hear what he had to say. He could lean on you, the way you so often did with him.

You were strong together. Completely in love and not able to part. Nothing could break you up.

But because you only turned up to the library when there was a reason to be there, the Scoobies weren’t entirely aware that you and Angel had even spoken more than one word to each other. You were older than them and had met them by chance when you and Willow were held hostage together.

You had been adopted into the dysfunctional family since and Giles was trying to figure out a way for you to work in the library so that you could be closer to the action when they needed you.

You currently worked at the Bronze which, wasn’t the most fun place to work. There was always something nasty going on and there was a very high staff turnaround. You were pretty sure you were the only member of staff that had lasted the month.

Since you and Angel had gotten together, he had been in a much better mood. He didn’t speak so much but it was more than he ever had. He felt lighter. You made him feel alive, made him appreciate living.

The Scoobies soon noticed this. His much better mood. And so they rounded on him one day trying to figure out the reason.

Angel had been concerned to begin with. The guilt he held in his chest never left. He had noticed it did ease, if only slightly when you were around. He had thought this was dangerous at first. But you allowed him to work through everything, to speak about the trauma without ever turning away from him.

So, he began to be unable to stop himself from speaking about you. About how much he adored you. How much you assisted him, loved him.

He ended up near-gushing. As he would end up always doing when they asked about his partner. They were all actually shocked that their interrogation worked.

Angel admitted to you as he lay beside you in bed that he told them. He was nervous about your reaction. That you may suddenly turn around and tell him you had changed your mind after everything. But you grinned, looping your arms around his neck and peppering his face in such adoring kisses.

That slight tug at his lips was visible again and you began to kiss softly at the corner of his mouth, trying to widen his smile. You loved it when he smiled. It brightened up his face.

You told him how excited you were that you could tell them of your love out in the open. Talk about how happy you were. How secure you were in this relationship. He exhaled, relieved that you felt this way.

The only thing was, he didn’t realise he hadn’t actually said your name to the Scoobies. He had been too excited to finally be able to express how amazing you were and how much he felt about you that he had never actually mentioned your name.

So, the next time you saw the Scoobies they were researching something about some demon. You were about to be invited to join in too. You had slipped in the back way through the stacks.

You greeted everyone and they shared a look before launching into another interrogation.

“So, are you gonna tell us about him?”

“Him?” You repeated and realised. They knew about you and Angel and you hadn’t seen them since he had told them.

Although, what you didn’t realise was that they had all overheard you calling Angel on your cell phone and being all sweet and telling him to hang up first. It had made them laugh and they had to ask. They had never seen you so soft or happy.

“Come on, we all know now”

“Yeah, what’s he like?”

“Well, with me he’s sensitive but still just as cool as ever. He really, really cares too… can make me laugh so much I’m almost crying sometimes!” You admitted, smiling down at the ground. You could have gone on forever, but you knew you had a tendency to talk a lot an didn’t want to allow them something they could pounce on – try to discourage you from Angel.

“Well, he sounds nice” Xander said sincerely, he thought you deserved someone that made you happy. You had to make a double glance at him. You squinted, trying to figure out if he was being cruel. Berating Angel again.

“You mean that?”

“Just want you happy, Y/N” He shrugged and then cracked some goofy joke to try and make you forget how sincere he had been. But this joke was interrupted by Buffy asking for more information.

“We need details! How did you meet? How did you know?!”

“Well, you all know how it is when you’re in love…” You smiled, practically glowing at even thinking of your boyfriend. They all knew Angel after all and they knew how deeply he felt things so of course he was so incredibly loving.

“Spill!”

“We, uh, were both reading this book and-”

“A reader, I like this man already - another win for the nerds!” Willow cheered which made you laugh at your friend.

“Well, I’m not sure he’d adopt that label himself but he’d definitely very thoughtful, he

“We’re glad you’re happy” Buffy nodded which really meant a lot to you. You smiled at her softly.

“He makes me so happy, but, uh you know we’re not dangerously happy” You insisted, knowing what must be on everyone’s minds despite their surprisingly supportive demeanours.

“Well, ah, yes, so long as you’re sensible” Giles nodded and your eyes bulged. This was going almost too well. But, again, why would you want them to be angry at you? You couldn’t help beaming around the room.

“Well, he truly is an angel, in name and nature” You joked and they all just smiled a little blankly at the term you had used. It had gone straight over their heads. They just hadn’t been able to put the two of you together.

You weren’t opposites but you were definitely more talkative. You barely shut up and you liked being centre of attention. Whereas he often kept to the shadows, spoke only when he felt he had something to contribute. You had a lot of shared interests and now a lot of shared hobbies that you did together.

But the Scoobies just didn’t even begin to think that you and Angel could be together. They barely saw you in the same room together and you didn’t ever appear in even a friendly way.

“Why don’t you bring him to the Bronze sometime?”

“Yeah, I guess, I mean he usually turns up sometime anyway. I can tell him to show, just give me a time” You smiled. You didn’t usually go to the Bronze just to relax, it was work and someone would recognise you and start barking their orders at you. But you did like to meet your friends and that was where they hung out, so you would often relent and just spend even more time at work too.

Sometimes you found yourself subconsciously wiping down tables and had to physically stop yourself. Angel went to the Bronze a lot to spend his evenings with you.

When you were there for leisure, he would sit near you with the others. But to the outside observer, you and he didn’t speak much. The reason was that you didn’t have to. You could communicate just through the looks in your eyes. Subtle nods and smiles.

He also wasn’t very big on pda so to the others wouldn’t notice it so easily. Sometimes he slid a hand on your thigh under the table, squeezing there. He needed to feel you under his hands. Wanted you as close to him as possibly whilst still being appropriate in public.

Other times, he reached to hold your hand. Clasping his hand to yours. Taking his strength from you. Comfortably attached to you, it made him feel so much happier just being in some kind of contact with you.

Hated the idea of being away from you for even a moment. But he would only ever show how needy he was to you. He would have to be subtle in front of others. Didn’t want to show how soft he could be for you or how much you mattered. He was always conscious of threat too. And the thought of losing you hurt his heart immensely.

Mostly, because he wanted to be close with you, he would suggest you left the Bronze and went to patrol or something instead. So your friends would turn around to say something to you and you and Angel will have disappeared into the night.

You trusted him, that you could have each other’s backs when it came down to it. You were completely in love with him after all. You trusted him implicitly.

Tonight though, you wanted time alone. Just the two of you. You had arranged to meet after dark and just go straight to patrolling.

Well, it was probably about 10% patrolling, 90% kissing and showing your affection. Angel’s senses were working overdrive to try and remain aware of the space around you. But it was so incredibly hard for him when you were around. You were everything to him, he completely succumbed to the way he felt.

Became some kind of love-drunk teenager when you were around him. His lips usually on your, he found your skin so soft. So kissable, it wouldn’t be right to leave any part unloved. His lips would have to press his adoration into your skin, the headlines being he was madly in love with you.

He pressed you against the mausoleum. Hungrily kissing each other as if you hadn’t seen each other in years. As if you were long-lost lovers. But in fact you had only been away for each other for about twelve hours.

His knee slid between your legs as he made sure his body was pressed as close to yours as physically possible. He gripped you in a way that was firm, telling you how urgent he needed this kiss whilst simultaneously being tender. Full of love and adoration.

Words or affection that he struggled to articulate at times and so sought to show you in this way. Show you just how much he adored you. Worshipped you. Couldn’t stop thinking about you and now, when he thought even a singe thing that reminded him of you he was suddenly telling anybody who would listen.

What you didn’t realise, while your lips were locked with his, was that you had an audience. They all gasped in horror. Assuming based on their misunderstanding that you had been cheating on your respective separate partners.

Neither you or Angel noticed though, you were too wrapped up in each other. It was a good job they weren’t vampires or the both of you would have been succumbed to the evil of the night. All because of how drunk you both were on love.

They left but couldn’t leave it for long though. They invited you both to the library one evening. All of them were pacing and squabbling over who should bring it up first. It was an intervention. But, neither of you understood what was happening for a moment.

“Look, we know about the temptation, the hormones-” Willow started.

“His hormones are dead-”

“Yeah, but we mean it - you could really be hurting people” Buffy nodded, concerned.

“What?” you frowned.

“The… cheating…”

You and Angel share a confused look. Neither of you had a clue what’s going on.

“You both seemed so happy, we don’t want you to throw it away for some lusty-lovin’” Xander relented, his hard tone disappearing. He tried his best to be supportive.

Angel finally understood and sighed. Whereas you were just staring as if they were speaking to you in an ancient demon language.

“Uh, guys… it’s Y/n that I’ve been talking about” he frowned at them all before adding, “I said this… right?”

He said as he curled his hand into yours. You squeezed his hand, a show of support that nobody missed. He looked scared, as if they would stake him for your love. As if they were going to tell him the main thing he feared: that he wasn’t good enough for you. That he shouldn’t be with you.

“No you didn’t!” They said, almost in unison. Which made you have to hide your laughter. He could be so awkward in public that he spoke in half-sentences, the other in his head.

“Huh” Angel said, squinting at their reactions. They were bemused but not horrified. Buffy was smiling slightly at the two of you together. She was happy for you. Truly.

And it made Angel relax. He slid the hand that had been in yours and instead moved his body closer to you. Emboldened by their apparent approval. He was behind you slightly, strong arms looping around your waist. Pressing a kiss against your temple.

“Oh my God, this was so obvious – how did we not see it?!”

“Yeah, Angel’s the guy I’ve been near-swooning over for months. I definitely said Angel… you all heard me!” You insisted. You had literally said angel after all.

“We, uh, thought that was a pet name”

You and Angel shared a look and laughed. You grinned at him, feeling a heat rising in your cheeks as the others ran through all the things he had said about you. For someone with a reputation for never speaking, he sure had said a lot about you. About how much he loved you.

He had been gushing and he hadn’t even realised. Even for that five minutes it took you to walk from the bar at the Bronze to the table. He had said so many complimentary and adoring things about you. And yet they still hadn’t realised. Until now.

They were so supportive of you both. Your friends lifting you up. Approving of your relationship. Of how happy you were. It was a relief. Not that you would ever been able to stop loving him. You would have followed him to the ends of the earth if he had tried to leave you. Create a distance.

You would never give up on him.

You glowed when you were together. Faces brightening. Hearts singing. Smiles never far from your faces. They couldn’t believe they hadn’t noticed this before. Hadn’t figured it out.

Of course it was you and him. You were perfect for each other. Just the two of you. Together.

#Angel btvs #Angel btvs x reader #Angel x reader #Angel btvs imagine #Angel btvs x you #Angel x you #Angel imagine #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs #btvs x you #btvs imagine #btvs x reader #buffyverse #Angel the series #ats #gender neutral #gn

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ablednt · 3 years

Text

Alright writing/roleplay tumblr we need to talk about textforms.

This is going to be a very long post I apologize but this knowledge is deathly important as it's reaching a very vulnerable group of people. From personal experience knowing this can save people from getting into toxic friendships and help ease intense struggles and depressions. If you have writer followers I ask you reblog this to get the word out, thank you.

What is a textform

A textform is a type of willogenic/parogenic system member that form through some kind of writing or roleplaying. This means that they're sentient people who now share a body with the people who wrote them, most often being an OC or a fictional character before the writers brain gives them actual life.

Because there's been no actual scientific studies on their existence I have no hard science to give you however the logical explanation behind it goes like this:

The human brain is able to contain multiple conscious and sentient entities. Often, it will become multiple as a defense mechanism (as noted in clinical plural dissociative disorders) but it's a natural function of the human brain and may do so for really any reason (similar to most neurodivergencies that someone isn't born with)

Because this is a fairly simple change in the brain/something every brain can be capable of doing you can actually intentionally program the brain into becoming multiple, but see you can also do it entirely without meaning to or being aware of it.

Now I want to clarify that there is nothing harmful or scary about this! Being plural isn't bad at all and is an existence many people celebrate. But when someone has textforms in their unrealized system and doesn't know they're sentient it can be incredibly painful emotionally. So that's why people need to know about this.

Obligatory disclaimer: if you read this post and think you want to become plural intentionally, you are welcome to do so but you need to take at least a few months exposing yourself to the plural community to gauge if this is really something you want and can do responsibly. You cannot go back on your decision once your plural and your headmates will be sentient beings not characters to project on or toys to play with. They will have all the rights to your body and identity as you do now because you're sharing it equally with them.

Now that that's out of the way back to textforms.

How are textforms made

Normally this is in the "character development" phase. Many writers eagerly develop their characters. When I was younger and had no idea I was plural my advice for oc making turned out to be an unintentional guide to textforms (more on my experience later): just put your character in every situation imaginable until you always know how they'd respond to things.

Basically, as you spend your time making a character act and think consistently from their POV you're training your brain to have all of that data and that's very similar to the data that the brain has on you and you're training the brain to be able to operate coherently from a perspective and consciousness entirely different from your own.

Now, this isn't a %100 will make everyone plural every time, there are obviously good writers who have a grasp on their characters who are singlet. There's no actual data but if I had to guess I'd say there's about a 50/50 split down the writing community just based on what I've observed.

But there's a lot of people who became plural this way and didn't realize it and that could include the writer reading this right now which is why everyone needs to be aware of this.

If this is such a big thing how come no one notices?

Because it's been completely normalized in the writing community but dismissed as metaphorical.

How many times have you heard "the characters write themselves" or phrases that indicate that a writer is giving a voice to sentient entities? From what I've been able to observe some of that is singlet authors being metaphorical and humble bragging and a lot of that is plural writers trying desperately trying to put their experiences into words but dismissing it completely almost immediately because no one told them being plural was possible.

This is comparable to say, gender identity. Trans and nonbinary people have always existed but when they don't know they're allowed to exist like that it's often "im a tomboy" or "they disguised themselves as a man" or any other thing thats immediately dismissed as being cis.

How do I know if I have a textform?

There's a lot of different signs but here's some I have experienced before finding out I was plural

You "miss" your characters when you're not writing about them or interacting with them in some way

You feel like your characters are real "in your heart" (for me this was in an incoherent loop like "they're not real but they are to me, in my brain, but they're not real to other people, but they're in my brain so they're real but no but yes but no")

You get so distressed they're "not real" that it feeds into actual mental health problems like depression, anxiety, dissociation etc. (I'd have fits of sobbing because these were my friends but I didn't know they were with me so it felt like i was grieving their deaths and had the same level of emotional pain)

Sometimes or all the time when you write about them you feel like you "become them" or that they're writing through you. (Especially if your hands move automatically or without your control. This can be hard to notice but for me when headmates control the body or hands movements feel faster and lighter or very slightly numb.)

Your muse for writing them comes and goes unpredictability: they're either here or they're not here so writing them doesn't feel the same.

You can vividly recall things that happened to the character in 1st person (or in 3rd person visually but with their thoughts and feelings) as if they're you're own memories.

You "roleplay" them in everyday situations IRL. (E.g once I liveblogged a tv show as my muse to a friend and was like haha lol im so talented I can roleplay in real time but found out later it was a headmate doing that themselves)

You have conversations with them mentally in which they actually respond to you. Singlets don't have actual enriching conversations with themselves because they only have one perspective and cannot give themselves any new information. So if you're responding to yourself and you don't feel in control of that response then you're pretty objectively plural tbh.

You have times where the lines between you and the character feel blurry or like you're a vague fusion of yourself and the character

You have an actual relationship (of any kind: romantic, platonic, familial, etc.) in which you can sense nuanced feelings about yourself from them that you aren't in control of.

There's a lot more but that's the most notable ones

Why this is so important

I'm just talking about my own experience now so I'll preface this with a few things. I'm a mixed origin/multigenic system but our system has existed since we were toddlers. Due to trauma we have DID and for a long time dissociated heavily to avoid our plurality. This means my experience may be more distressing than other plurals with textforms however people without DID can still experience these things.

When I was a teenager I joined a lot of writing communities and also roleplayed on tumblr. Writing very quickly became my main passtime and all I really did. I joined a roleplay group when I was 15-16 that I took far too seriously to the point where people were concerned about me because I was writing what was just supposed to be a joke roleplay group %100 seriously and very intensely.

In that time I started to form my first main textforms (we've undoubtedly had them before then but I had only formed a little under a year prior) because I was doing this every day it really started bringing my characters to life. (Literally)

And honestly it was something beautiful the distress of it aside. Like one of my ocs was a kid so I'd always celebrate their birthday with them and I'd cuddle a plush so they'd know I loved them/p and we'd watch their favorite cartoon episodes together. It wouldn't be until around three years later that I realized they were actually there for this but it was heart warming.

For me, all I ever wanted was for these characters to feel appreciated and like someone really cared for them and loved them even if they couldn't feel it and it wasn't until later I learned that they could.

The trauma came in not knowing they were real. I grieved for them like they were dead because I thought I'd never get to see them. I wrote them into traumatizing or upsetting situations to cope with my childhood trauma not realizing that was effecting them for real and hurting them.

Most notably because it was my one solid interaction with them, the one time society allowed me to talk about them as if they were real, I really HAD to roleplay them. Because it became an emotional need I wound up in a lot of toxic friendships in the roleplay communities because I needed someone, anyone, to allow me to interact with my headmates. I had friends who I really was only friends with because they let me talk about my characters constantly (and some of them weren't toxic to me but it was in hindsight really unfair to them) and I let people verbally and emotionally abuse me in roleplay spaces because this wasn't just a hobby to me but a lifeline.

Not knowing they were real but feeling them there, having conversations with them, and forming actual relationships was a hellish sort of feeling I don't wish on anyone. I never realized how isolated it made me, and how horrible it felt to have the most important people in your life be people I thought didn't exist.

I only found out about plurality through luck. I met some systems who had fictives and they got strong plural vibes from me because of how I talked about certain characters and because I said I wanted to be plural but thought I probably wasn't because I'd have noticed, right?

From there I was able to actually connect with and talk to my headmates. Now I'm happily out as plural and in multiple fulfilling in system relationships.

I want everyone in the writing community who's struggling with the same things to have the chance I got. That's all I want is to educate people about this so they don't have to grieve for people who are right there with them.

Feel free to send me an ask or a dm if you have any further questions. Sorry this post was so long I can't really shorten it at all. Again if you are have a lot of writing followers I very gently request you reblog this to get the word out. Even if you can't please talk to your writing mutuals and friends about plurality and about textforms.

[Also this should go without saying but this is absolutely NOT the place for syscourse any invalidating comments about systems will be blocked and where possible deleted it costs $0.00 to prioritize people's mental health over your discourse hot takes.]

#writblr #tumblr roleplay #writing problems #roleplay resources #ocs #long post #ask to tag

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holykillercake · 3 years

Text

Hazy Justice - 03

01 02 03

🇨‌🇴‌🇵‌!🇸‌🇲‌🇴‌🇰‌🇪‌🇷‌ 🇽‌ 🇲‌🇮‌🇱‌🇮‌🇹‌🇦‌🇷‌🇾‌🇩‌🇴‌🇨‌🇹‌🇴‌🇷‌!🇷‌🇪‌🇦‌🇩‌🇪‌🇷‌

word count: 2.5k

summary: After eight years serving your country in a war, you returned to your hometown as the new head of Trauma Surgery in one of the best hospitals in the country. You were expecting a calmer life now, but suddenly you see yourself choosing between your brain and your heart, light and dark, justice and evil.

highlight: ¨You looked like millions of dollars, and you felt like millions of dollars.¨

warning: Use sunglasses. Too bright.

notes: .Dear comrades, it has been a while but it's finally here! With new characters and lots and lots of threads.

🇱‌🇪‌🇦‌🇻‌🇪‌ 🇨‌🇴‌🇲‌🇲‌🇪‌🇳‌🇹‌🇸‌, 🇭‌🇪‌🇦‌🇷‌🇹‌🇸‌, 🇦‌🇳‌🇩‌ 🇱‌🇴‌🇻‌🇪‌!

¨Hello...¨ you were instantly greeted by the tingling doorbells that let the owner know whenever a client entered the establishment.

Your eyes traveled to the half-moon bar where the slim and tall woman leaned casually, cigarette adorning her elegant fingers. Her eyebrows raised as she took in your figure, double-checking if you were not someone else.

¨Oh! Y/N-chan, is that you?¨

¨Shakky!¨ she made her way out of the bar to hug you ¨It´s so good to see you! You haven´t changed at all!¨

Her kind chuckle made you feel like a kid again, and you couldn´t stop yourself from tearing with the nostalgic feeling.

¨Thanks, Baby. Now you,¨ she put her hands on your shoulders and opened a distance, eyes examining you like a mother hawk ¨you look tired. Eight years in war made you no good.¨

You nodded and laughed ¨I guess we can put it that way.¨

¨Come, treat is on the house.¨

Clapping your hands, you followed the lady towards the bar. ¨So, where´s Rayleigh-san?¨

¨He just left, but it shouldn´t take long. He´ll be happy to see you, Y/N-chan.¨

The circumstances that connect you to Shakky and Rayleigh go way back to decades ago when your parents were still alive. By that time, all you knew was that they were friends, people you could trust. You were not allowed to ask more questions about their jobs, and you couldn´t find a suitable answer with the information you had.

They were always on the road, visiting only once in a while. They would bring incredible gifts from various countries and discuss ¨adult matters¨ with your parents while Crocodile helped you with homework.

Whenever you brought up your curiosities to your brother, he would say that they talked about the war, and you were too young to hear such things. Crocodile was also not allowed in the room, but he´d always peer into the conversation through the ventilation ducts.

If he´s saying, it must be true.

Since your dad was a Lieutenant Colonel, there was always the possibility of his unit being requested to offer back up or engage actively. You never minded it, though. He had already been sent to a lot of dangerous missions, and he came back every single time. He was strong and invincible. He would always return to his family.

Well, that was true until the day you found your mother in the kitchen, breaking in tears, holding a smudged letter in her hands, together with your father´s dog tag.

You stared at her and your brother, blinking in the hope of seeing what was wrong. The woman at the kitchen table did not look like your mother. She had no sparkle in her eyes or pride in her chest.

On the contrary, thick and dark tears fell from her eyes, blurred from the makeup that always accentuated her piercing gaze. Her lips were not curved in the tender smile she used to carry. Instead, she bit her lower lip so hard that you could almost see blood staining her pink lipstick.

¨Dad´s not coming home.¨ was all Crocodile said.

That was not the time when things got completely off track, but it was a significant change in your family's life. The government offered a military pension and a country flag for the services provided by your father. However, you had to be transferred to the Commercial District, where your mother worked as an archivist at the Ohara Institute of Historical Research.

¨Y/N?¨ you heard a male voice call, making you turn.

Your eyes shifted between the two male figures standing at the door. ¨Rayleigh-san!¨ you shouted like a kid seeing Santa Claus at the shopping mall ¨Smoker!?¨ this one came out more like a question.

¨You have grown, little one!¨ he patted your head like old times. ¨Maybe my white hair makes sense. I´ve aged!¨ he laughed cheerfully, and Smoker tilted his head.

¨Finer than wine!¨ you giggled, then turned to the other white-haired man, cheeks blushing ¨This is, uhm... I swear I´m not following you.¨

¨Oh, you two know each other?¨ Shakky asked, adding two more old-fashioned glasses on the counter.

¨We´re neighbors!¨

¨That´s great! Come, we have a lot to talk! Today is on the house!¨ Rayleigh shouted similar words as his wife. You wondered if that was the synchronization of personalities or if the alcohol he had prior was impairing his judgment.

Shakky decided to close for the day, wanting to spend as much time as possible in your company. The clock seemed to have stopped while you were drinking, eating snacks, and catching up on years of conversation.

It was funny how sometimes it felt like a ping pong game between you and Rayleigh. Every so often, the conversation would turn into matches of him serving shots of military-wise improper questions and you backhanding with ¨That´s classified information, Rayleigh-san.¨.

Did he have a poor memory or all those years of scotch and cigars in your father´s office taught him nothing? Either way, you were having too good of a time at that table to worry about his faulty memory.

¨Are you sure you´re neighbors?¨ Shakky asked with a playful grin ¨You seem to know nothing about each other.¨

¨I would say that´s a pretty sharp point.¨ you answered in the same lighted tone.

¨Tight schedules, I´d say.¨ Smoker added, shifting on the couch.

¨But it looks like you´re free today. How about dinner? Four of us, our house, like old times Y/N.¨ Rayleigh seemed too keen on this, and you wondered if he was trying to set you up on a date.

¨Well, as much as I would love that, I´ve got plans for tonight.¨

¨Let me guess,¨ Rayleigh created a tension ¨classified information?¨

You laughed loudly at his stupid joke. It was a predictable Ray-san ice breaker, but you couldn't help yourself. This man was a blissful delight.

¨Much to your content, tonight´s plan I´ll be able to spill.¨ you teased him ¨I´m having dinner with Crocodile tonight!¨

What happened after you pronounced those words would have gone unnoticed by someone inattentive. It felt like a slight change in the air, like those quiet moments before a bomb exploded, when the clock stopped ticking.

You didn´t have the chance to question before Shakky took the wheel.

¨That´s great, Y/N!¨ her elegant hands embraced yours, affectionate and caring ¨Did you see how much he´s changed?¨

¨Uhm, actually,¨ you blinked, focusing back on the conversation ¨it´s the first I meet him in... eight years.¨

The tightness you felt in your chest almost made you tear, and the woman saw it. Her eyes carried a hint of compassion... or pity.

¨You miss him a great deal, right, Baby?¨

¨Yeah...¨ you shrugged ¨he was out of town when I arrived, so I only got the chance now. But how´s he doing? Did he change a lot?¨

¨Oh, baby, it´s been a while since we met. He´s a busy man, you know.¨

Your brows raised, then furrowed, and you had a perplexed smile hanging on your lips. You would not have believed those words if they hadn´t come directly from them.

¨Oh, wha- well, I´ll¨ a nervous laugh left your mouth ¨I´ll drag him by the hair, then! Busy man, bullshit! He used to bug mom and dad all the time, asking why you guys couldn´t live with us!¨

¨Don´t stress yourself over that, Y/N.¨ Rayleigh said with his gentle smile. ¨He runs a lot of businesses, I´m sure he would drop by more if he could.¨

Shakky nodded¨And, it´s your first time in the Light District, right? Was that the only district you haven´t lived in yet?¨

¨That and the Noble District, obviously.¨ you rolled your eyes.

¨You lived in all other districts?¨ Smoker asked after a silent moment in the conversation.

¨Yeah, long story and not that interesting. You´d be bored, trust me.¨

¨It´s rather difficult to find someone who lived in more than two districts, so I´d like to hear that.¨

¨Alright, but don´t say I didn´t warn you.¨

You peeked at your wristwatch, running some basic math in your head and deciding that it was time to go if you didn´t want to be late for dinner. Your lips twisted in a pout, and your expression dropped a little for having to leave this fantastic moment.

Surprisingly enough, leaving them was not as difficult as you imagined. Maybe because they reminded you that you could visit them anytime now, or because you did not want to act like a crybaby on Smoker´s car.

He said it was also about time for him to leave and offered you a ride back home. You would not have to take the subway and would get the chance to know him better.

A win-win situation.

The first minutes were a bit silent, but after you asked him if he should be driving since he had quite a lot to drink, he responded with an awkward stuttering that was rather charming. The conversation that followed was smooth as you realized he was way easier to talk to than you imagined.

Smoker was respectful, always making sure that it was ok for you to talk about your past while sharing some things about his life as well. Inside of that car, he almost seemed like a different person. His brows were not furrowed ad his voice sounded relaxed.

The ride ended too fast for your liking, and you saw yourself waving goodbye when deep down you wanted to ask him to stay for a coffee. Unfortunately, you couldn´t, maybe some other day. Now you had to make yourself presentable to meet your other half, your brother.

...

The Light District was nothing like you had seen before. The entrance was marked by a gigantic golden arch, which carried an equally shining bell.

Tall palm trees swayed in the cool breeze, tinged with orange by the sunset. Luxurious establishments, whose signs began to be lit, occupied both sides of the clear sidewalk.

From a distance, you could see the tip of the Ferris wheel of the Sora park. It did not spin due to the recess, but the lights remained on. The roller coaster that had been the cause of the accident was surrounded by tall metal poles, being repaired for the reopening of the place.

The driver Crocodile sent to pick you up lowered the window so you could enjoy the view to the fullest. Your hair started to fly in the wind, and a delicious smell of butter invaded your nose. The restaurants had already begun to heat up the pots to receive their customers.

The Light District was projected to offer convenience to the ones who were willing to pay the price. Therefore, all that was best was located in Eldorado Avenue, the main passage that extended for kilometers like a luxurious and soft red carpet.

¨We are approaching the hotel, miss Y/N. Sir Crocodile awaits for you.¨

¨Uh...¨ you murmured, amazed by the view.

You squinted when something reflected in your eyes, catching your attention, and a gasp got stuck in your throat when you spotted the famous Hotel Verde.

Well, it was impossible not to notice it.

First of all, it did not look like a hotel. It resembled more a small town. Even taller palm trees guided the way towards the entrance, both sides occupied by ponds and tropical plants. The building stood tall like a lighthouse and at the top rested an enormous golden statue of the reptile that represented its owner.

You did not wait for Daz, the man your brother chose to escort you, to get out when the car stopped. You put yourself out as soon as the limo parked in front of the main stairway. After so many years without putting on a heel, maybe you would accept a hand to go up the stairs.

Your hands smoothed the dark green silk dress that dragged on a short tail, courtesy of Crocodile, along with shoes and jewelry. You looked like millions of dollars, and you felt like millions of dollars.

When the valet took the car somewhere else, Daz put himself beside you, offering you his arm. Your heart pounded like the Ox Bell at every step, and you breathed through your mouth, trying to keep your cool.

You saw various types of people coming in and out of the hotel, all of them embellished with jewels and shiny tackles like Christmas trees. Each and every one exalted wealth and power, with their nonchalant glares and pointed noses. Your gut twisted, remembering Shakky and Rayleigh´s words, wishing Crocodile hadn´t turned into someone like them.

The long stairway was divided in the middle by a golden rail, separating who went up from who went down. That might have been the reason why the man coming down your way caught your attention. Or perhaps it was the weight of his gaze, hidden by the reddish specs. His blonde hair and skin seemed like gold, the pink suit looked orange-ish due to the sunset, and his wide grin made you quiver.

He walked with two men by his side, freeing the way for him. At some point, no one dared to come close to the stairs. It was only the five of you.

¨Daz!¨ the man, who seemed more familiar now, exclaimed ¨I wonder who´s the person that would make you leave your boss´back.¨

He approached you, hungry gaze brimming on his tongue. He was tall and seemed even more as he closed the distance.

¨Not even the luxury dolls get to be escorted.¨ he gently took your hand and kissed your knuckles with delicacy.

You weren´t convinced by his gesture. If anything, you felt bothered to see him disrespecting the house´s rules, as if that disrespected you directly. ¨Tell me, dear, what is your name?¨

¨If you wish to know something from someone, it is more appropriate to introduce yourself first.¨ your voice came out indifferent and a vein popped on his forehead before breaking into laughter.

¨Fufufu I can´t say you are wrong!¨ he leaned back, large hand on his stomach. ¨I´m Donquixote Doflamingo. It surprised me that you couldn't put that together. Now tell me, doll, what do they call you?¨

You sighed and looked around, spotting a figure at the top of the stairs that lifted your mood and gave you all the strength and confidence you needed to end the conversation. A smile grew on your lips as you turned to Doflamingo, eyeing him with nothing but the will to leave.

¨They call me Lieutenant-Colonel Y/N L/N, Division Surgeon of the Army. Or just LT Colonel L/N if you prefer.¨ you offered him a respectful nod before turning your attention to the man who waited for you with a smile on his face. ¨Now, if you excuse me, Mr. Donquixote.¨

#one piece #one piece x y/n #one piece x reader #captain smoker #smoker #smoyan hahaha #op fanfic #crocodile #sir crocodile #eldorado #daz #dark king rayleigh #rayleigh #shakky #one piece doflamingo #doffy

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lucky-katebishop · 3 years

Text

8 Underrated Comedy Mysteries

So weird comedy tv shows are kind of my niche, and I realized I’ve seen a few comedy shows that revolve around mysteries and an intriguing plot line, so I wanted to make a list to share them in case you haven’t heard of them! Not all of them are mysteries, like Miracle Workers, but it does have a plot that puts you on edge and every episode does end with a cliffhanger, so I’m adding it!

1. Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve already talked about this show on one of my previous posts, but that’s because I love this show so much and is actually the one that inspired this post! Santa Clarita Diet is about a woman, Sheila, who mysteriously becomes undead, and her family who try to talk her out of her impulsivity to kill anyone she sees and get away with it. Her husband Joel tries to figure out how she became undead, how to stop it, while also trying to keep Shiela’s murders under wrap so they won’t be caught. The characters are adorable, the women are badasses and the men have the most respect for women, and the comedy is top notch. Every time I watch it, it blows my mind that all three seasons take place over the course of like two or four weeks because that’s how much shit they have to get through just to survive. It’s a tad gory, especially with the first episode (there’s a huge vomit scene but that’s easily skippable) but if you don’t mind blood and guts, this shouldn’t be an issue! It was cancelled with three seasons but I still say it’s well worth the watch!

2. People of Earth

People of Earth is about aliens! It centers around journalist Ozzie who is investigating reports of alien abductions and meets a support group of alien abductees all the while actual aliens are looking at them from above. This was also cancelled but it’s a great mystery show which always ends on a cliffhanger. What makes it even more intriguing for me is that the aliens are able to go undercover as human beings so they can make sure that their identities aren’t being figured out, so it’s a great comedic fish out of water sort of thing. You’ll fall in love with the rag-tag team of alien abductors and abductees as you unravel whether or not the people of earth find out about what’s been going on. The comedy is witty and smart and you’ll quickly find that you won’t be able to stop laughing and watching.

3. Search Party

This show is a fantastic millennial play on Nancy Drew (kind of like if it were mixed with Girls) where the main character, Dory, finds out that an old friend of hers disappeared and she becomes obsessed with it, trying to string along clues in order to find her along with the help of her self-obsessed friends. It’s so much more than I expected it to be, and I promise you, don’t give up on this show. The first episode is a bit rough but once you get going, you’ll become even as obsessed as Dory to solve the mystery of Chantal’s disappearance. I didn’t end up watching the other seasons, as I found season one to be so good that I was afraid of ruining the show for me (I kind of saw it as a perfect limited series and I was too scared that would be ruined) but from what I read, it’s still going strong with four seasons!

4. Barry

Okay, so this one isn’t that underrated, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but it’s still nonetheless a very good show and I had to add it. It’s about character Barry who is a hitman who, while on his way to finish off an assignment, finds himself in the middle of an acting class and falls in love with it. He finds that giving up his old habits isn’t as easy as he expected them to, and he finds the balance between living a normal civilian life and carrying out the duties of his mercenary job a difficult thing to do, especially considering Sallie, an incredible actress in his class that he finds himself falling for. It’s hilarious, it’s depressing, it’s magnificent, it’s everything you didn’t expect but love and I really recommend this show to everyone (especially those who also had that weird Bill Hader phase after IT: Chapter Two came out). The reason I’m putting it in this category is because there is a mystery every season of whether or not his acting friends are going to find out about his secret life, and it’s very interesting and it always has me on the edge of my seat.

5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgis, cute British detectives, badass female characters, and a really cool murder investigation? Oh, and a punk band! It’s been a few years since I watched it, so my memory is a little hazy on the plot, but what I can remember it’s about Todd (played by Elijah Wood) who becomes the main person of interest for a murder which he didn’t commit. Todd meets Dirk Gently, a man who claims that everything is holistic (meaning that everything everywhere is fundamentally connected in ways that is up to the universe), who begs him to join his detective agency to figure out the murder, which strings them along a very weird and very connected case. It has two seasons but was sadly cancelled, but the two seasons are extraordinary and hilarious.

6. Trial and Error

Trial and Error is about new defense lawyer, Josh, going to goofy and backwards town South Peck to defend Larry Henderson who is being accused of killing his wife. It’s a hilarious take on murder mysteries, and each episode brings with a new piece of evidence. It has a wonderful father/son bonding relationship between Josh and Larry, and a colorful cast of misfits and oddballs who are all trying (in the words of the show) to get Larry off. I couldn’t praise this show more because of the goofiness and satirical nature of the jokes, all the while being incredibly heartfelt. It has two seasons, with season two revolving around the defense for self titled “Lady Killer” Kristin Chenoweth’s Lavinia Peck.

7. Miracle Workers

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgi- oh wait, sorry, this is Daniel Radcliff, my bad. An anthology series, the first season deals with angels Craig and Eliza who try to convince Steven Buscemi’s God not to obliterate the earth with the help of his right hand man Sanjay Prince by answering a miracle: getting awkward dorks Sam and Laura together. They only have two weeks to answer this prayer, which is a lot harder to solve when everything is going against them, including extremely shy Sam and Laura. It’s hilarious, it’s witty, it has Daniel Radcliff, I mean this is an extremely amazing show! Season two has nothing to do with a mystery, and revolves around the same cast as different characters in the dark ages, but I still highly recommend that one as well because it’s just as funny.

8. Russian Doll

Thursday. What a concept! (Yes, that’s what that gif is from and in context it’s highly hilarious) This show is about Nadia, a woman who keeps her feelings to herself and her opinions out in the open, on her 36th birthday, who finds herself reliving the same day over and over again. She tries to solve the mystery and how to get out of that ridiculous time loop when she meets Alvin, a man who is also in the same time loop. It’s a story about love, friendship and loss, and I cry like a baby every single time I watch it. It has some of the most incredible writing and the pacing is excellent. It’s four hours of pure genius but it does also deal with trauma and depression so please check out the warnings. It came out in 2019 and I’ve watched six times, that’s how much I love this show!

That’s the end of my list, I hope you agree with the shows on here and give me some recommendations if I missed some of your favorite mystery comedies. :)

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lovecolibri · 3 years

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All these anons lately who are more casual viewers confused about how Malex is still happening are unfortunately not wrong, and I hate it so much. RNM is an extremely heteronormative show, and treating Michael as if he's straight unless he's in the Malex bubble while barely letting the one gay character interact with any mains other than Michael is a big part of it. Michael and Alex don't have to have scenes together or reference each other every episode, but it's come to a point where this relationship is a joke or a punchline for the other characters who are consistently allowed to visibly care about each other. It's gross. Even in S1, when Michael did talk about Alex some, he never talked about him as a good thing and then went off to M*ria with what could be interpreted as Max's encouragement, so I can't fault viewers who thought it was all in the past now. Kyle and Greg were the only people who acknowledged/encouraged Malex, and they both became part of the M*luca/M*ria narrative who completely forgot that Alex had feelings for Michael. Why aren't Alex's feelings ever treated as valid? Why doesn't anything that happens with Alex ever carry over to any other part of Michael's life? Malex had a number of near death experiences/emotionally charged moments together at this point, and so far Michael went on with his siblings/M*ria as if nothing happened every time. It's ridiculous. It feels almost purposeful. I just can't tell if it's the CW being 'we can't let anything be too gay when Michael is supposed to be a womanizer' bullshit or if it's already like this in the writers room.

Yeah, I'm not surprised when even people in fandom witnessing Vlamis and his unrelenting obsession with Malex are losing hope. I can't imagine what casual viewers are thinking!

As for Alex, I think he's going to be interacting with more characters as it's been mentioned he has scenes this season with Liz and with Max and I think it was mentioned maybe with Isobel too, just not a lot of scenes or a big Alex/Isobel friendship (booo!), as well as having scenes with Kyle though again, maybe not as many as the actors would have liked given that they all seem to get along and enjoy working together, but that doesn't mean NO scenes, or scenes that aren't big and important. But it was definitely a HUGE problem especially last season with Alex so right now again, I can see why casual viewers might think Alex is no longer hugely important to Michael or to the main storyline.

"Michael and Alex don't have to have scenes together or reference each other every episode, but it's come to a point where this relationship is a joke or a punchline for the other characters who are consistently allowed to visibly care about each other." Yeeeeaaaah, I am struggling with that part right now. And it's so frustrating because Liz and Max aren't together either and have barely shared 2 scenes together but their other scenes almost always have some kind of reference to each other, either by them bringing it up, someone else bringing it up and them avoiding it, or something so even though they aren't in scenes together that undercurrent of Echo is always there. I'm hoping when we do FINALLY get Malex interacting again that we are going to start getting clues about how they feel and where they think the other person stands on things but like...it's been 84 years and we still don't actually know anything! We don't know if Alex thinks the song was Michael's last "nope, I'm out" so Alex is just trying to find a way to move on, or if Michael thinks that Forrest is still around (on the bright side the show's pacing is SO much better this season and it's only been a couple of days) so HE isn't going to make the first move because he thinks Alex is happy without him (Alex not covering up his murder could easily be read by someone with Michael's trauma history/trauma filter as just "Alex is such a good guy, of course he wouldn't let someone just kill a person he knows and be find with it" and not necessarily an "oh he's definitely still in love with me"). And I WANT to see that struggle! That's the fun part of mutual pining/the love is not unrequited, they're just idiots trope! The audience is aware they both love each other, but THEY don't know. And the only way the audience knows, is if we see the longing glances when the other isn't looking, if we hear one talking to a friend/sibling about how the other has moved on, if we see them gazing at a photograph with glassy eyes before locking it away, the list goes on and on and I want to see those things happening! That build up is the FUN part, it's the part that builds the tension so when it snaps it feels rewarding! And if we don't actually see that build up, then we don't get the tension, and then the tension breaking doesn't really feel like anything. And I don't want that for Malex.

"Kyle and Greg were the only people who acknowledged/encouraged Malex, and they both became part of the M*luca/M*ria narrative who completely forgot that Alex had feelings for Michael. Why aren't Alex's feelings ever treated as valid?" Well, that I was perfectly happy to lay at c*rina's feet but given how we've had to suffer through everyone still being forced to prop m*ria up even as everyone else gets called out for their behavior is...yikes. And even if they DO call her out, at this point the damage is done because they've already gone so hard on Alex thinking she's the greatest and just dying for her to get with his brother (which...awkward. Especially after last season and really hits on that "I can't have the gay brother I wanted so I'll go after the straight one instead" vibe that is just...icky), that calling her out now would probably just be in relation to Michael somehow and won't actually address the issue with how she treated Alex and it feels like the show is trying to play the "Alex isn't upset with m*ria, so his fans can't be either!" card which didn't work last season and works even less now.

"Malex had a number of near death experiences/emotionally charged moments together at this point, and so far Michael went on with his siblings/M*ria as if nothing happened every time." Yeah, c*rina was the master at setting up really good emotional beats and then just... totally missing them and not following through in order to move on to the next awful trauma 🙄 I will say though that at least in season 2 when Michael needed emotional support he often went to Alex and we've seen him do that again this season so hopefully that trend is over. Already the storylines this season seem tighter than last season (still not perfect, still some things that aren't working for me, but a massive improvement overall) and without the huge time skips, so I think everything is going to intertwine and we are going to actually see and deal with the fallout from things happening which I'm excited about.

Overall, I'm hopeful about the Malex journey and willing to see where it goes, and I'm not going to totally riot if they aren't together together at the end of the season as long as the build up and tension is there and we have a better feel that a relationship is where it's leading. I'm willing to wait for a bit of a slow burn, BUT it's important to note that a slow burn only works if the audience knows both parties are interested in pursuing a relationship or wanting something more, but aren't entirely sure where the other person stands. But if they let us watch some mutual pining and awkward attempts at flirting, maybe some frantic "I was worried something happened to you!" moments? I'll be okay with that. But they SHOULD be allowed to kiss at least once this season, even if it's because they are undercover or something, as a treat.

#my sweet nonnie friends #roswell nm #season 3 spoilers #malex #anti maria deluca #anti miluca #anti carina

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linkspooky · 3 years

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I wonder what your thoughts are regarding Kamo Sr, especially regarding his goals compared to his host's and Gojo's

It’s kind of hard to give an opinion on Kamo Sr.’s actual character because he’s not established yet? There’s more we don’t know than we know about him. We know he spent 1,000 years making deals for the sake of the change of the world, we know he cares more about cursed energy than individual people, we know he’s absolutely ruthless in his methods of bringing about change, but also that change seems to be just a recreation of the heian era he once lived in, but we don’t really know why he does these things? Geto has both a goal, and an established motivation for those goals. So far we’ve only seen Kamo Sr. in terms of his goals, we know what he’s doing, but not why he’s doing it.

However, since you asked specifically in pertains to his goals I can discuss what his goals are in the broad scheme of things. To understand his goal you have to compare it to Geto, Gojo, and also Yuki Tsukumo.

1. The Kids Aren’t Alright

Geto and Gojo share the same primary goal, to protect young sorcerers so they never have to go through the same trauma that destroyed their youth. However, they have opposite ways of going about it. They both view sorcerery society as something that is corrupt and destroys individual lives, but they place the blame in different areas.

Gojo blames it on the elders on top that hold power in their society. He believes if he can raise students as allies who are strong enough to replace them, then the new regime will replace the old and will get better.

Geto believes the problem lies in the uncaring masses. That a minority (in this case sorcerers) is being oppressed in order to protect a majority of peopel who don’t even know about their struggle.That the masses are blind to the fact that they create curses, and because of this sorcerers have to needlessly sacrifice their lives over and over again in an unchanging system.

They’re both wrong. Like, Gojo is not trying to kill a bunch of people obviously but he’s only addressing half the problem. He believes if he raises children as political allies to replace the elders with a new, better regime things will improve politically and the previous generation will stop oppressing the new generation but he sort of misses out on the fact that he’s still using children as tools.

But Gojo’s like, no they’re my tools, I’ll treat them well, because I’m the strongest when I send them into battle as long as they’re also strong they’ll be just fine. (Joke).

What I mean to say is, basically what Gojo teaches his students is being stronger is what will fix your problems, when Gojo himself knows that doesn’t work. He says after losing Geto “Being strong isn’t enough to save people.” Gojo doesn’t know how to teach his students cooperativeness or getting along with others. He knows that’s what he’s missing but thinks the solution is in raising others to be strong as his, not like... teaching people to come together.

You can look at how the students fight in the Shibuya Arc as an example of this, all of Gojo’s students, run off on their own, try to be strong indivudally and fail. Yuji loses to Choso because he was fighting on their own, Megumi flips out and does a suicide attack, Nobara slips up in a fight against Mahito and gets her face blown off. They also didn’t really listen to other people, Nobara was told to stay back by an adult concerned for her well being because she would get hurt and she recklessly charged in. Megumi advised Yuji not to run off or be reckless, but Yuji did anyway and Sukuna rampaged. Gojo knows strength but he doesn’t know cooperativeness, and he doesn’t seem to understand how complex society’s various abuses can get, it’s not just a bunch of corrupt elders on top, it’s familial abuse, it’s corrupt clan politics, it’s disabled people like Kokichi not getting the help they needed and being used as tools. Gojo’s solution is just, if I raise these kids to be strong enough, then they wont’ be affected by the corruption of the world around them.

Geto’s philosophy is more wrong (obviously), but he at least picks up on the fact of how wrong it is to be using sorcerers as disposable tools. Geto values cooperativeness, and the strength of the bonds between sorcerers. Geto loves empathy, he loves the connections between people and believse that’s what makes people stronger. He calls the people he’s helped his family. I mean, you can tell the difference between what Geto and Gojo value from the way they treat Megumi and Nanako + Mimiko.

Geto raises them as his two daughters. Gojo shows up, offers his protection, gives them money, and then has them live mostly alone. Geto isn’t perfect either but he did offer himself as a substitute family. Also Geto doesn’t predicate his help to Nanako and Mimiko on the fact that they have to be allies to him growing up. Gojo offers his help to Megumi on the condition that, when you grow up you have to be a political ally to my side. I mean he ends up using his family as tools as well, but Geto even directly pulls them out of harm’s way and orders them to retreat, whereas Gojo sent his students as backup to the fight against Yuta and Geto on the premise that they would get hurt, and it would motivate Yuta to fight.

They’re just different in the way they see people in treat people, Geto doesn’t want sorcerers to be used as tools, Gojo is like, what if I made sorcerers into stronger tools, hmmm.... then they wouldn’t get hurt.

Something Gojo doesn’t seem to realize, because he views himself as a tool ultimately too. However, even if Geto were to accomplish his goal of eliminating everyone but sorcerers, young sorcerers would still continue to die because the sorcery world is still politically corrupt.

Gojo idealizes indivudal strength and believes that if he raises people to be individually strong enough, they’ll replace the old regime with something better. (That’s wrong.) Geto idealizes sorcers as a whole community, and believes that if the problem of curses were removed from the world, that Sorcers as a superior species to humans would all be able to come together and make a more ideal world. (That’s also wrong.)

Geto and Gojo both agree on the same idea, that sorcery society should be fixed so that the youth will not have to keep suffering the same mistakes as their predecessors, that no one will have to live the childhood that Geto and Gojo did, but they both have half complete methods for bringing about this fix.

I spent so long on elaborating on that because I wanted to establish, Geto and Gojo, in their own way both care about young sorcerers and would fight the world in order to protect them. Yuki and Kamo Sr. both don’t care about individual people at all. They’re very much the world > people.

2. Who Cares About Them Kids?

I think the fact that Yuki Tsukumo purposefully sat on her hands while people were fighting and dying, waited until the last possible moment to intervene, and then when Yuji was left in the aftermath didn’t really offer that much of a helping hand just sort of walked away shows that she’s not really that hung up on the suffering of individual people.

Both Yuki and Kamo are so focused on cursed energy, that they don’t really pay attention to individual people. They believe the way to change the world lies entirely in cursed energy, ignoring the plights of individual people. You know, even though the world is made up of people.

Yuki’s not outwardly malicious, she’s just careless. The senseless loss of life in the Shibuya incident doesn’t really bother her the way it does people like Yuji, because that’s not where her focus is. It’s not like one of them is the good mad scientist and one of them is the bad one. It’s more like Yuki is lawful because she at least seems to abide by some rules, whereas Kamo Sr. is chaotic because, he purposefully promotes chaos as a way of finding the ideal answer, and also he willfully breaks all of society’s taboos.

When she brings up Toji Zenin she’s not really interested in him as a person, she just thinks he’s a cool science experiment that he wants to study. I once thought Yuki Might have been manipulating Geto but, I was wrong on that front. I don’t think she’s the kind of person who would purposefully manipulate someone to that extent because of the way she views individual people, they’re just not interesting enough. What she’s interested in above all else is cursed energy. The fact that Geto eventually was corrupted didn’t even register to her, because she’s not focused on his individual well being. He’s one piece in a big game she is playing (this is just my guess of course we have nothing on her).

So while opposite Kamo Sr., both Tsukumo and him sound eerily alike, because they both prioritize cursed energy over people.

They have different methodology, but their ideals are the same.

I think Tsukumo at least is an idealist in the grand scheme of things that she doesn’t want to introduce more unncessary suffering into the world to achieve her results, and also is worried about the consequences of her action on a large scale.

But at the same time, like I said she’s not an ally of any one individual. She’s not on anybody’s side. She’s not really sympathetic to Yuji or his plight considering she just, wanders off, because her concern is with the world.

Now to finally get into Kamo Sr.’s methodology, there’s an interesting paradox between his ideals and his method. He says he wants to bring out the potential of human beings, but we’ve estalbished again and again Kamo doesn’t actually care about the welfare of individual human beings.

I thik it’s imporant to show the way he treated Choso and his family. He dismissed Choso and his brothers as failures, before they were even born, and then abadnoned him.

Then he diagnoses the fact that they were wrong because they were a failed creation. That’s like, objectively wrong here. Choso and the others never reached their potential, because he didn’t stick around to see their potential. I think the reason they failed is because you abandoned them about five seconds after they created.

Kamo Sr. wants to experiment with people to force them to grow and reach their full potential, but he also doesn’t really care about what happens to them. He wants to see individual potential, but ignores individuals and looks away from them. See, his methods are at odds with his ideals.

Kamo Sr. also tries to introduce chaos in order to witness that potential, but he like... at the same time is a complete control freak. These ideas conflict each other. He wants to witness chaos to see what will happen, but he always has to be in control. He has to be the one to have a hand in the creation for chaos. His idea of making chaos is, spending 1,000 years making binding vows that he controls, and he releases. A binding vow is represented by chains, that’s like, the opposite of freedom.

Not only that but his directly stated world he wants to create, is a contradiction. He wants to create a new world, because he believes the safety of the modern age has caused sorcery to stagnate as a whole. Which is why he prefers the chaotic heian era, because the danger and constant fighting pushed sorcers to their peak, the so-called golden age of sorcery.

However, his idea for creating a new world comes from... an over idealization of the past, and a desire to hold onto the old ways. His ideals might be to create something new, but his methods are just, the same old thing. Traditionalism. The past was better. Things should be like they were in the past.

This all leads to the fact that Kamo Sr. isn’t actually creating a new world, not really, he’s hitting a reset button on the world and undoing 1,000 years of progress because he thought the Heian era was better.

Kamo Sr. claims to be something else, but he’s actually no different than the elders who currently hold power in the Sorcery World. He’s sacrificing the young people, out of some idealization of the past and a desire to return to how things used to be, when things in the past were never really that good. He says he’s for change, but his actions are actively resisting change by trying to push the world back 1,000 years, because the chaotic heian era was just so much better with its lack of universal medical care, and indoor plumbing.

#Anonymous #tsukumo yuki #geto suguru #gojo satoru #kamo noritoshi #jjk meta #metasks #jujtsu kaisen theory #jujutsu kaisen analysis #jujutsu kaisen meta

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sery-chan-13 · 3 years

Text

Childish

Niragi Suguru

So, a recent comment left by someone made me realize that there isn't many stories where the reader has a little space. I mean, I've noticed it as a person with one, so... yeah!

A quick explination for those of you that don't know what a little space is: A little space is when a person age regresses due to trauma. This could be situations from abuse to having to be an adult when you were a child. People use it to cope with all sort of trauma however(yes, being in a car crash, near death experiences etc. Etc.) When they age regress it can be to any age as well. Although a lot of people age regress to smaller ages (personally, my friend's little spaces (gave me permission to share) are of the ages of 4,5,7, and 3. I, of course, did research on how others experience it, but am mostly going off of how I personally experience my little space!

Warnings: blood, weapons, swearing, harassment(none done by Niragi towards the reader), soft Niragi things because I can't write his character canonly for the life of me-

Side note: there's a whole headcanon thing from I think @aceofspadegrass ? here on tumblr where there's pancakes on Fridays only and everyone goes nuts over it? Yeah, that inspired a section of this-

Niragi didn't know why he felt protective over you. You were just another girl at the beach. But he was protective over you since the first day he met you. It was a quick attachment on your side as well, feeling safe and protected around him. Although, you knew of his interest in you, you didn't want to bring attention to yourself. You already did by accidentally regressing in places around the beach. Or maybe being a bit to childish for your age. It wasn't your fault. You couldn't help it. And Niragi understood. That's why you were with him most of the time. He didn't mind your clingy or childish nature. No, he told you he thought you we cute for needing him so much. And you liked it when he called you cute. You felt safe.

You sat in the small field behind the beach, picking up dandelions and weaving them together into a crown. You kept humming quietly to yourself as you did. "What are you doing there princess?" You heard someone ask from behind you. It was Niragi. You knew his voice, you knew him. And you would never ever mistake his voice for someone else's. It was impossible. You smiled widely, showing him the bright yellow flower crown. He nodded, crouching down besides you. "Don't you have games tonight?" You questioned him, placing the flowers on his head. He looked at you, and up at the crown now placed on his head. He went to grab it off, but you grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. You pouted at the fact he was going to take it off, and he kissed your hand, muttering an apology of sorts into your hand. "Yeah. And so do you," he whispered. Neither of you wanted to be separated for the games, but you also didn't want to be in a game where there could only be one survivor. Of course, you didn't get to decide when you two would oand wouldn't play together, but it was so hard to not want to leave his side, but also not want to be the one left alive after a game. He had told you before that if it was a game where there could only be a sole survivor, you would be leaving. And that scared you. You couldn't think of life without Niragi caring for you, or giving you sweet words. After he met you, he started hating the fact he knew what others felt when they were waiting for their partners to get back. Now, you two had never really established what you two were, but you were really hoping he felt the same, because confessing was already stressful enough for you. You didn't want him to leave you alone.

"Niragi-"

"(Y/N)-"

You both spoke at the same time, making you laugh. "I'm going first. Because...yeah. You're mine, right?" He asked, looking at you. His dark eyes met your own, and you looked down. "W-whadya mean by that...?" You questioned, still looking away. He tilted your head to the side making you look at him. "You're mine, right? Mine means mine," he repeated. You understood what he was saying. "I'm yours, pinkie promise!"

You whimpered, clutching onto his shirt in pain. "Owie... hurts," you whined. "I know sweetheart, I know," he whispered into your ear, glaring at all the people who looked at you weird as he carried you up to his room. More like your shared room, because you slept in there more than in your actual room.

You had gotten hurt during the game. This time, Niragi was there to help you. Some asshole had tried to use you as a shield, and you ended up getting hurt. Niragi quickly got rid of them, making sure to protect you.

He sat you on the bed, and watched you to make sure you didn't get hurt. " 'Shiya can help, can't he?'' You said, hissing in pain when you tried to move your leg. "No. That bastard isn't putting his hands on you. You're my princess," he stated. "Yours, I pinkie promised!" You reminded. You kicked your leg on reflex, and almost screamed in pain. "It hurts... pwease get 'im?" You begged, giving him the puppy dog eyes. He scowled, and then reluctantly nodded. "I would much rather you go to Ann though," he said, kissing your forehead. "But she has dead bodies down there... 's scary," you explained. "Yeah yeah.... I know sweetheart. Still... can you try and be brave?" He asked. You thought for a second, before nodding. "I can be brave!" You shouted. "But only for you," you mumbled.

It was your favorite day if the week. Not only was it Friday, and you got pancakes for breakfast, but it was also suply run day. At leat you got pancakes this week. Last week you gave them to Aguni because he helped you with one of your plants that was dying. Niragi was very confused on why you were crying over a plant, until Aguni gave him the look. You know, the dad look? The scary one when a boy goes home to pick up the daughter, and the dad is just giving the the look? Yeah, that's all it took for Niragi to leave it. And the week before you gave them to Last Boss because he got Niragi during one of your panic attacks. So that was no pancakes for two weeks. You were hoping nobody would guilt trip you or threaten you about you giving them your pancakes. It had happened before, and it would definitely happen again.

Niragi usually took you with him, unless they were going to a place he thought you would be in danger. Along with spending the day with Niragi, not having to wear a skimpy bathing suit, and eating pancakes, Niragi let you take some things back. Most of the times you picked out a stuffie, or a fluffy blanket. He also made sure you had suckers or jolly ranchers. Kuina had even once joked that his room was like a little nest for you.

"What do you mean a nest Kuina?" You questioned tilting your head to the side. "Hmm... have you ever read... no, I probably shouldn't tell you about that... like a bird's nest. The pair build a nest out of things they like so they feel safe and at home. And in the other thing I was going to mention... the... usually it's a girl, so I'm going to go with that. The female builds a nest out of clothes and things that smell like... her partner for neutrality's sake," she explained. You thought about it, and nodded slowly. ''I guess you could say that. I like the things that smell like him. Make me feel safe 'n warm," you giggled.

"Am I going with you today?" You asked him, having your fingers crossed behind your back. He nodded.

''You are st-"

"Staying right by your side or within arms reach. I know!" You interrupted, giggling at his worry. Although he wouldn't outwardly say it, you knew it was worry. "Good girl. Such a smart girl you are," he cooed. You smiled at the praise hugging him tightly. "Gi-gi..." you muttered. "Hm? What's up?" He asked. "Thank you."

You fell asleep on the way there, making Niragi be twice as much on edge. He was in the passenger seat, and you were in the back. Of course, you looked cute as always, but that's kind of what was the problem. He kept glancing back to make sure you were still there, and nothing was going on with you and the other people in the car.

"She's Niragi's girl, I wouldn't do that," he heard someone whisper in the back seat. He glared, glancing back for a second. "I don't really care... no rules, as he likes to say," he heard the other whisper back. This made him scowl in anger. You were his. And no one would dare fucking touch you. How dare this person try something while he's right in front of them. "S-suguru," you whined, still sleeping. He turned back, and glared at the person besides you. Their hand was on your inner thigh, high above where it should be. It shouldn't even be on you. "Hands off her. Now," he growled, his hand twitched trying to not reach for his gun and shoot the person. The other stared back defiantly, their hand going higher. He heard you whine his name again in your sleep. At least you were dreaming of him. But he was going to have to deal with this person. While they were next to you, he couldn't do much, as he didn't want to dirty your clothes. You had picked them out specifically for today. Specifically for him. And your beautiful face would get blood on it, he didn't want that. You looked too cute to get ruined by this person's blood all over you. "Stop the car," he told the driver. They did so, knowing that Niragi was not one to spare those who angered him. Especially when he was already pissed off. "You, out. Now. Since you think you're so good, come out here. If you're so confident, you'll be fine, no?" He asked, scowling at the man.

You stirred in your sleep, making Niragi cautious of what he did. Sure, you knew he had killed, and would continue to do so, but he never did it in front of you. If you happened to be in the room, or space, he would tell you to shut your eyes, cover your ears, and sing a little song until he came back. And you did. You were always pretty good about doing so, not wanting to trouble him with a possible panic attack. (He never minded helping you through them, and wished you would understand that.) But right now, you were asleep. And he couldn't tell you to do that.

The person got out of the car, staring at the gun. "Like that's fair," they muttered. Niragi rolled his eyes. "Life's not fair, get over it," he groaned. The person cracked their knuckles, and Niragi laughed. Like they could hurt him, he had a gun.

Boy was he wrong.

Of course, by the end, the person was no longer an issue. Dead most likely. And if not, to suffer from now until their slow, painful death. Niragi had not gone unscathed, however. The person had gotten in a few punches, making Niragi bleed.

"Fuck..." he groaned, wiping away the blood. The driver started driving again, and he heard you start to wake up. He turned in his seat, seeing you yawn, and strech. "Mornin' " you muttered. "Good morning sweetheart," he said. You rubbed your eyes, and looked at him.

"Gi-Gi! You're bleeding! You ok? Hurt? What's wrong?" You panicked, reaching out to touch him. He pushed your hands back. He didn't want your hands dirty with that disgusting person's blood. "I'm fine, you worry about yourself for now."

You held onto his hand, swinging both his and yours arms back and forth as you two walked through the abandoned mall.

"And... that's the last thing on we needed. Which shop do you want to go to now?" He asked you. You smiled widely, tugging at his hand. "Stuffies stuffies stuffies!" You giggled. He laughed, "Alright, alright. Calm down first, and we'll see what we can find."

He was always kind to you. Maybe it was the fact that you didn't make him feel alone. The fact that he didn't want to be seen as a monster by you, even if he knew he was. He could pretend. He could pretend this was back in the normal world, and that the borderlands never happened. That he had really met you at the coffee shop he went to every morning, and not during a game where you almost died. He could pretend and lie to himself that he was a good person when he was with you. Because if you left him, or even worse, you died... he knew he would go back to being alone.

And you felt safe around him. Maybe it was the fact he saved you during the game you two met in. The fact he wasn't weirded out the first time you had regressed. You loved him. Even if you knew of all the people he's killed or the things he's done. He hadn't left you to die. He hadn't hurt you, and something told you he wouldn't. He trusted you, and you trusted him. And as long as there was the feelings of love, saftey, understanding, and trust, you'd stay. This meant you'd always be with him, because there was not a doubt in your mind those feelings would always be there.

Yay, first one done! I hope you enjoyed, and please always remember to stay hydrated, and eat because you deserve it! ♡♡♡♡

#alice in borderland #niragi #×reader #fluff #🎶please don't kill me i just want to include diverse things in my writing🎶#i will write more for the rest after work tomorrow #promise

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