#anyways this wasn't what i was going to originally angst

[adventuringblind]

Entitled To You (3.6K words)

Norstaptri x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: An incident with Lance sends the boys into a frenzy. She just wants to do what she loves.

Warnings: Explicit depictions of r@pe, injury descriptions, panic attacks, Oscar plots a murder, Lando throws hands, Car crashes, Author doesn't know legal stuff, Head trauma and blood.

Notes: This one is a request from @Lily234566 I know this wasn't the original pairing but I was struggling to fit the Ferrari boys in there so I had to scale it back... I'm sorry and I hope you still like it! T_T

Side Note: Sorry to the Lance girlies reading this. AND obligatory message of I don't know these people and this is purely FICTION! HEAD THE TAGS! DONT LIKE THEN DONT READ!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

“Max!” She peeks her head into his driver's room. The bright beaming smile she receives in return after their 1-2 nearly kills her. “They want me for a media thing, apparently.” HIs smile drops into a pout. The sad puppy eyes might convince her to stay. 

“Again? Don’t they know we have plans!

“No, and why would they care anyway?” She looks him up and down and whines because he’s standing in front of her with no shirt on. “Just - I’ll meet you guys back at the room. It’s something to do with being a female in F1… again.”

“I’m starting to think they have nothing else to talk about.” 

She shrugs as she walks out of the hospitality, waving to Christian on her way by. The goal is to get past the Mclaren garage without seeing Lando because otherwise she is not going to the interview. His pout is worse (better?) than Max’s. 

To her pleasant surprise, Laura is the one conducting the interview. “I’m sorry about this being last minute! They said they wanted you to do it with someone else next week and I offered to do it now.” 

The interview passes with ease and thankfully doesn’t take long at all. The banter in-between is also entertaining. 

She’s exhausted when they finish. Ready to go back to the hotel and fall into bed with her boys. Hopefully They’ve ordered food - and dessert. 

The paddock is nearly empty as she makes her way through. Maybe, had she been paying more attention and not focussed on her aching body, she would’ve caught on to the footsteps behind her. 

They are heavy, she assumes possibly a mechanic still packing up to continue on their way to the next circuit. That’s what she still thinks when the hand on her bicep yanks her around the corner. 

If she weren’t as exhausted, then fighting would’ve been a possibility. However, that seems out of the cards as he pins her against the nearest wall. Her forehead hitting the surface hard enough to make her dizzy. 

“Not so confident now, huh?” 

The fuck- “Lance? What are you?-” He slams her head again and cages her body against his own. She flails, only to be slammed again. “Would you stop doing that please?” 

“Not after that stupid stunt you pulled today on track.”

“You mean the one where you showed you don’t know what brakes are?-” Again, her head is sent into the hard surface. She can feel her nose starting to bleed. “Must you?!” She decided to shut up when he does it again and everything starts to go fuzzy. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of her fireproofs. The cold evening air hits her bare skin and she panics more than before. Her head is too cloudy to fully comprehend what’s happening. 

“I feel like I'm entitled to a bit of compensation after that stunt.” 

“You’re entitled to nothing. You took yourself out!” She hisses through gritted teeth. Still, Lance continues to get her clothes lower. And slams her head again harder - you know - because she wasn’t disoriented enough already.

“Would you shut up?” She doesn’t say anything this time. Her mouth feels numb and her ears are ringing. Her exposed lower half is met with the bare hands of someone she doesn't want touching her. 

It's - well - it hurts. He's groping at her thighs, ass, even her tits which she isn't sure how he's managing. His hands are everywhere they shouldn't be. 

And then nothing. 

A vague awareness of what's happening seeps through her veins and invades her senses. She tries to scream. Attempts despite the sheer pain of the snap of hips she didn't ask for. 

His finger beat her to it. A hand encloses around her throat and cuts off her oxygen. The black spots dance around her vision. She wants them to stop moving; they are making her dizzy. Or was she already dizzy? 

“See, it's not so bad. Don't you feel less guilty for ruining my race now?” No, she doesn't. She wasn't guilty before. 

She blacks out. 

~~~♡~~~

Waking up with sore limbs and a killer headache is not how she pictured this night going. She tries to yell for help, but a mere creaky rasp escapes. 

When did she lose her voice? The thought makes her panic more. The sob she lets out hurts more than there is sound. 

Her face and hair is sticky. At least Lance had done her the courtesy of not finishing inside of her. 

Still - what the fuck even happened? The fragmented memory is trying to come back to her slowly. Each small piece remembered is another broken cry. 

She can't move. 

It's dark again. 

~~~♡~~~

The anxiety between the three boys is certainly not something they are used to. Oscar can pinpoint the exact moment Lando started overthinking and Max had to bear hug him so he didn't pace a hole into the cement of the parking lot. 

The fourth seat in their car remains empty and their messages have gone unanswered. It's getting more concerning with each passing minute. 

“Max, she always responds.” 

“I know Lando.” 

“She always calls if she's going to be longer.” 

“Lando?”

“Yes?”

“Would you feel better if we went and looked around for her?” 

The Brit nods his head in a fashion that might give him whiplash. It's better seeing him feel helpful then sit helplessly. Though Oscar can't help but agree with Max's original point. that they should wait there at the car just in case since that's where they were supposed to meet. 

Granted, it's only been twenty minutes. It's still long enough to be murdered. 

They Methodically peer around corners and wave at the mechanics who give them skeptical looks. They were supposed to be out for post race celebrations by now. 

Oscar freezes when he sees it. The human shaped lump lying on the ground. He rushes over with long strides. The closer he gets, the more familiar the person on the ground becomes. 

“Max! Lando! I found her!” The other two boys come sprinting in his direction. He's on the ground trying to clear her hair from her face only for it to get stuck in the sticky substance coating her features. 

“What the fuck?” 

Her fireproofs are still on, but it's obvious what happened. The handprints on her neck, the blood trickling down the sides of her face. “We need to bring her to a hospital.” 

Max hoists her up in his arms. Mainly because Lando is on the brink of tears and struggling to breathe through his panic. He loves deeply and with his heart on his sleeve. Oscar just hopes he can keep the Brit calm until they find more help. 

“Can we at least clean her up?” Lando pleads with him. Big Hazel eyes brimming with tears. 

It's always a struggle to tell him no. “We can't, not if it can help us figure out who did it.” The tears start right after that. 

“So that’s what happened then? Someone really-” Oscar has to maneuver the puddle of tears that is his boyfriend into the passenger seat of their rental car. Max tosses him the keys, opting to be with her in the back and keep her comfortable. 

The tricky drive to emergency is more because Oscar is too far in his own thoughts to pay attention to the traffic lights. He can hear Max moving her around, attempting to put pressure where blood still flows freely. 

Oscar doesn’t bother with parking. He pulls off into some empty area and helps Max shoulder her weight inside the doors while Lando runs ahead to find help. 

It’s fast after that. They take her away and start patching her up while the three of them are forced to sit in the waiting room. Oscar and Lando are left to their own devices while Max paces about on the phone with Christian. 

He feels like a knife is being driven through his chest each time his mind tries to come up with what could’ve happened. Who would do something like this? Unfortunately, a lot of people. The question is more of who could’ve done it and gotten away. Someone with access to the paddock this late. Security, perhaps? Maybe even a sleazy mechanic? A driver wouldn’t make any sense… right?

“When will they let us see her?”

“When she wakes up, most likely.”

He’s not sure when he falls asleep. The exhaustion finally hit him like a truck despite his persistence. He’s awoken by Max’s constant shaking and aggressive whispering of his name. 

“-She’s asking for us.” 

He’s up faster than Lando when Jon threatens an ice bath. They follow the nurse down the halls with an uneasy anticipation. They creep inside the sterile room and find her staring at the wall. 

Lando doesn’t hesitate to move further into the room. Always having been more in touch with his emotions then the other two boys. “Hey love, can I come closer?” 

She looks at him. The bandages plastered over the sides of her head and around her face now visible to them. She returns Lando’s gaze with glassy eyes. It’s damn near shocking when she tries to pull things off her body in a desperate attempt to reach for Lando. 

Lando gets to her before she can get everything off, specifically the IV, and catch her arms. Oscar and Max finally pull themselves together and manage to get her to lay back down with some coaxing. 

She’s shaking violently. Her grip on Lando’s arm is sure to leave bruises. “Who - who f-found me?”  

“We did, schat. We got worried when you didn’t respond.” Max drags the two chairs in the room closer and pulls Oscar down into one.  Lando, against all odds, manages to wriggle his way into bed with her. 

“I know who it was. I - well - does anyone else know?” 

“Just Christian and us.” Oscar can feel the fight Max is putting up to not ask her more questions. The way he’s grounding himself with a hand on Oscars knee instead. 

“You don’t have to tell us.” He attempts to reassure. Maybe calm her mind by giving her an option. “Just know we’re here, alright?” 

“I don’t want it to be a big story. It’s already going to be since I can’t be in the car for the next four weeks. Oh fuck - everyone is gonna know-” Lando hushes her; gets her to somehow hold him tighter.

“Christian said it’s up to you, whatever happens.” Max nods at her encouragingly. “We go at your pace.” 

“They did a rape kit. They’ll know who it is. It was all over so it couldn’t have been hard to get DNA - oh fuck” 

Her heart rate picks up. The nurses rush in. They send her back to sleep. 

~~~♡~~~

Max wants to know who it was who touched her. The rage simmering underneath her skin is almost too much to keep contained. 

On the more fortunate side, they were allowed to stay since she wouldn’t let go of Lando. Then when he did have to get up, they rotated. 

The doctors and nurses learned to approach her like she’s a scared animal. The heavy footsteps seem to set her off and there is now a sticky note on the door saying to tiptoe when entering. It’s endearing to see her doctors and nurses trying so hard not to startle her. But seeing as they’ve now had several incidents where she’s panicked, they are taking more caution. 

Oscar and Lando have meandered away in search of food. Max opted to stay put and made the promise to bring him back cheat foods. He’s too stressed to not eat something of comfort. 

Her physio is supposed to come by today with the stuff she left at the track and get an update from the doctors themselves instead of Max’s botched attempts at repeating back. It will also be nice to see her comfortable, as the one blanket that travels with her everywhere will also be dropped off. 

“Max?” He tightens his hold to show he’s listening. “It’s not fair… You, Lando, and Oscar make a mistake on track and nobody does that to you. I - It wasn’t my fault.” 

The thing is, Max is smarter than people give him credit for. The only incident on track was with Lance. An incident that was his own fault. “He’s at fault, not you. None of this is your fault.”

“They are going to say I was asking for it or something.” 

“In those fireproofs? The only ones asking for it are me and Oscar… for obvious reasons.” He chuckles proudly at his little self compliment. 

It also manages to get her to crack something of a half smile. “Are you complimenting your own ass?” 

“And what if I am?” 

She doesn’t eat anything despite it being sat in front of her. Soft foods are the only thing she’ll be eating. Her throat, albeit not as bad as it could've been (thank you F1), is still damaged and needs to rest as much as possible. 

They had to keep her for observation due to where the head wounds had been. It’s been a rough thirty-six hours, but they are managing.

Despite the hectic situation, Max has come to learn that the female lying in the hospital bed is a better person then the rest of them. Oscar was detailing a full proof murder plan while she was telling him not to make it a bigger deal then it is. To which Oscar politely put his ten step plan with four contingencies down and told her that it’s ‘what he had coming to him’. 

Max has not had to stop someone from assassinating a rival before, but Oscar seems like a reasonable guy. “Death is too good for him.” 

“Mm, you’re right, I’ll just make sure he doesn’t die then and can’t see my face.” 

“Or, we make his life a series of inconveniences! I feel like daddy’s money could get him good therapy. It can’t solve every minor problem.” Lando has a gleam in his eyes. 

Him and Oscar start pouring over ideas once more. The girl simply shakes her head and goes back to eyeing her pudding like it’s assaulted her. “I don’t want to leave here, Max.”

“Why not? I’d assume you want to go home? Sleep in a comfortable bed?”

“Out there, they can get to us. Here is safe.” 

He considers how to reassure her. Only, there is nothing he can think of. The truth is that outside of this hospital room, there is no guarantee they won’t run into trouble. 

“I can’t promise that we'll never have something bad happen again. But-” He looks to the McLaren duo brainstorming ways to make the Aston Martin garage regret existing. “We’ll be there for each other. We’re here for you. When you want us and when you need us, yes?” 

“Pinky swear?” She extends her pink to him. 

Max accepts and curls his pinks around hers. “Pinky swear.” 

~~~♡~~~

It’s not fair really, that they had to leave to go do things. Lando would prefer he at least stayed with her so she isn’t alone. Alas, they are preparing for her discharge and he had to run around getting things together for their trip back to Monaco.

He comes back to a partially opened door and smiles at the other two boys being able to get back before him. Then again, as he gets closer he can hear the angry tone. One that Max uses when he’s pissed off about something. 

Lando panics and rushes inside. Only to be met with the sight of the last person he wants around right now. 

Now - he wouldn’t say he’s prone to violence. Lando prefers to keep the peace when it comes to conflict unless he’s trying to piss someone off on purpose to get a reaction. This is not one of those times. 

Lando’s knuckles collide with the Canadian’s jaw faster than he can fully become aware of what he’s doing. Lance stumbles backward and holds his jaw, glaring at Lando like he’s the one in the wrong here. 

“Get out!” 

“We were just talking-” 

“I said. Get. Out.” He’s seething. The thudding in his chest becoming louder with each second Lance remains in this room. 

He’s not prone to violence. 

Really, he’s not. 

Yet the second crack of knuckles into Lance's chin gives him some sick satisfaction. Isn’t there something about equilibrium? Can he pin this on restoring the balance or something? Regardless, he isn’t going to dent the fact that it feels good. 

The nurses come running and start asking questions. Max and Oscar have to drag Lando away kicking and screaming. 

Worse is when they try to tell him that there are pictures out on social media. Christian has been calling Max non-stop. Oscar has been dealing with Zak. Their relationship isn’t a secret and neither is their current location.  

“They're sending us a different car to see if we can’t get out discreetly.” 

“What happened with Lance, Lan? Are you alright?”

Everyone is panting. Their eyes trained on the door. “I punched him. I restored the equal-brey-um… thing.” 

“Equilibrium.” 

“Yeah that!” 

He’s not sure how they get on the plane. He’s still amped up about the whole punching thing and running purely off adrenaline. 

They’ve been sitting in silence, mulling over their options. Creating statements they can put out. It’s hectic and they keep trashing them because nothing fits. 

The female has been apathetic. The last thing she wanted was for this to get out and now it has. Seemingly everything is flashing before her eyes. Her career will be gone soon enough, so what’s even the point? 

“Don’t post anything. We don’t have an obligation to confirm or deny the rumors. If anything, we can say that you were just driving me to the hospital and being good friends or whatever.” She won’t look at them. Still - Lando can hear how upset she is, the waiver in her voice. “I’m going to be kicked out anyway.” 

“Christian said-”

“Damn what Christian said! He knows this isn’t going to get any better and if I say who it was then Daddy’s Money is just going to pay his way through.” She's hyperventilating now. Her body collapses against her seat and Oscar makes an effort to get her to lean against him. “It’s not fair!”

lando Can’t help but share her feelings.

~~~♡~~~

She stays holed up in the Redbull garage the next weekend. The appearance is hard, people want to ask her questions. Her boys had been caught in the middle of the riptide and haven’t come back to shore yet. 

At least she’s here. She’s trying her hardest to look stronger than she is. On the inside things are falling apart. 

The team knows to give her space and not ask about the ordeal. She takes refuge in Max’s room when things are too much and the other drivers keep their distance. 

They know it was one of them. She’d been adamant on not saying who it was, but it’s obvious there are sixteen who it could have been, given her partners insistence that none of them go near her garage for the time being.  

She just wants this whole thing to blow over. She wants to lay in bed with her lovers and not flinch when they go to touch her. 

She knows, however, that until she deals with things that healing can’t happen like it should. Or at least, that’s what her therapist says. The one she is now required to see. 

Things get worse when she’s back in the car. Her media duties are limited so she can focus on driving and ‘listening to her body’ as her physio likes to say. 

She can’t hear her body over the sound of her mind going staticy as Lance closes in on her. The catalyst for everything. She panics and ends up in the wall. Not the worst crash ever, but certainly hurts her pride more than it has already.

The thing is, it keeps happening. Even as she’s able to let her boys back in. As her podium finishes start to come back. Her fireproofs (which they’d gotten her all new ones) start to feel comfortable again and she doesn’t feel the need to be out of them the second the race is done. Still, Lance is using this to his advantage. 

Finally, after he almost killed her on track (again), she’s had enough.

The trial goes better than she thought it would. Despite the money differences, Lance won’t be able to race anymore. It’s not some grand spectacle either, just an announcement like usual. It’s more the closure she needed versus the publicized drama it could have been. 

She wins the next race. 

“If I ever see him again, it will be too soon.” 

“It’s been over a year now, Lan. I’m getting better.” There is a genuine smile on her face. The car awaits to take them back to the hotel. It was here that it happened. She almost considered not racing because of it.

“Lando got a taste of blood and now he’s feinding for it.” Max has a comforting hand around her waist. A grounding presence. 

“I mean, I never threw away my murder plot…” 

“You’re a genius Oscar!”

She shakes her head. It’s not like any of this has been easy. It never is. Still - her boys are here and they��ve been so patient. 

“There’s her smile.” They all beam at her. 

She smiles back.

#x reader #formula 1 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #fanficion #max verstappen #lando norris #oscar piastri f1 #oscar piastri x reader #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen x you #max verstappen f1 #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen x lando norris #lando norris imagine #landoscar #lando norris x reader #ln4 #lando norris fanfic #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris x oscar piastri #oscar piastri #oscar piastri imagine #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #op81 fic #mv1 #mv33 x reader

[applestruda]

Collateral Damage

#Ayy #been a sec since ive drawn mr goodtimes #which is very surprising for me #wknwnwmq #8 days with no scar is apparently a lot for me #anyways this wasn't what i was going to originally angst #but the other one just wasn't working out so yknow #goodtimeswithscar #gtws fanart #limited life smp #limited life #traffic smp #limited life spoilers #my art #cw eyestrain #also apologies long haired scar fans #just havent been able to draw it in a way i liked

[fxllfaiiry]

─ callin' it quits now, baby, I'm a wreck ੈ✩‧₊˚

✶ pairing: miguel o'hara x fem!reader

✶ synopsis: the aftermath of the argument with miguel.

✶ warnings: angst, hurt with comfort, occ miguel (for one scene only dw), shitty humour, one or two swear words, reader being slightly mean, mentions of death.

✶ notes: part two of "you're the sunflower" this part was originally 8k words long and i was like nope, so i had to cut it down, I'm sorry. I really hope this isn't bad ‼️

At first, you didn't quit the team. 

After the blow-up with Miguel, you thought about leaving the team for good, but yet you decided to show up, hanging around for a bit before quickly leaving. 

But slowly you stopped showing up altogether. The looks of pity were too much for you to handle, and frankly, you deserve an apology, you deserved better.

Every day was torture, and seeing Miguel only made it worse. No one thought this whole ordeal would go this far. 

Everyone noticed the changes, you were more serious, and your usual sunshine self was gone at this point. Everyone noticed the day you stopped coming in. 

You felt so lonely, sure, you had friends in your universe but yet, nothing felt the same. You sometimes wondered if they missed you or not. 

It had only been a few weeks and yet it felt like months. 

A part of you secretly hoped someone from the team would show up at your doorstep pleading for you to come back, but nothing. 

"You'll get used to it eventually" You'd tell yourself. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

It had been two whole months since you left. Nothing felt the same without you. 

"Does anyone else miss Sunflower?" Gwen said sadly. She missed your hugs, and your little girl talks with her, she missed everything about you.  

"We all miss her, kid," Peter sighed. Without you, he had no one to talk to about Mayday. 

"I hope she comes back soon," Miles said. 

"I think she just wants space right now," Pavitr replied.  

"This is all Miguel's fault y'know?" Hobie added bitterly, how dare Miguel take his friend away from him. 

"Someone should talk to him, maybe if he apologizes, she'll come back." Miles was hopeful, he knew you'd come back eventually. 

"Sure, kid. As if Miguel ever listens." 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Miguel on the other hand was depressed. 

He'd gotten used to your presence and it felt odd without you.

He felt horrible about yelling at you but he was scared. The thought of you dying terrified him, and his way of dealing with that wasn't the best. 

He thought about apologizing many times, but he didn't know how to. The last thing he wanted was to cause more damage. 

"You know a simple "sorry" could fix this all right?" Lyla said, breaking him out of his trance. 

"It's not that easy, Lyla." He sounded so broken to his own ears. 

"Well, you gotta try, Boss." 

"Sunflower used to call me that." 

"You're joking, right? Wow, you really are pathetic." Lyla snorted. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Dude, you're in love with her. You are absolutely smitten." 

"Lyla, that's enough-" 

"No, you love her and that's why it's bothering you so much." 

"I don't-" 

"Nah, Lyla's right, you do love her." He turned around to see Jess standing in his office. 

"Jess, not you too, and where did you come from?" Miguel groaned, he did not love you. 

"The door…? Anyways, just try to fix things, the first step is you apologizing." Jess stated matter-of-factly. 

Miguel thought about it for a minute, these last few weeks had been pure torture for him, Jess was right, the first step is apologizing.

"Fine, I'll do it first thing tomorrow, but I don't love her." 

"Sure, whatever you say, man." Jess snickered. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

You got somewhat used to your new life. It was the same old plain routine every day. You tried to throw yourself into other things. Finding new hobbies, jobs, literally anything. 

But eventually, it all started to feel okay.

Things were finally starting to look good for you. 

You thought about the spider society way less and finally started living your life to the fullest. 

You were moving on. 

Crime fighting was easy today. You got to hang out with your friends and an old lady gave you a cheerio, which is something. 

You swung around the city for a bit, enjoying the view and temporary peace. 

Soon it was time for you to head back home. You climbed in through your bedroom window and quickly changed out of your suit, slipping into more comfortable clothing.  

When you went downstairs to get some food, you weren't expecting to see Miguel O'Hara sitting on your couch. 

"Holy shit, what are you doing here?" You scared him, because he jumped violently at the sound of your voice. 

"I was here t-"

"Humiliate me further? Because I thought we were done with that." You felt bad saying that, but he deserved it. 

"No, I'm here to apologize." He looked down, ashamed. 

"It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" You chuckled bitterly, walking past him into the kitchen. 

"Just listen to me for a second." 

"I thought I was incapable of doing that." You muttered to yourself. 

He got up and strode towards you, but he received no acknowledgment of his presence. 

"I'm sorry for yelling at you in front of everyone; it was wrong and I shouldn't have acted so immaturely." 

"Uh-huh, it's fine. You can leave now, the door's right there." You weren't buying his ridiculous apology. Even a five-year-old could do better. 

"I understand you're mad, but please give me a chance." That was pretty much the last straw for you.

"I'm mad? You humiliated me in front of everyone! You made me feel like shit, you made me think I don't belong on the team! You're an asshole." You were screaming at him, taking out all the anger and sadness you felt in the past two months.

"I'm sorry." He sounded so small, so vulnerable, and for the second time in his life, he didn't know what to do. 

"The best you can say is I'm sorry? At least give me a proper explanation." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

"I'm in love with you." What? 

"Right, if you're here to joke around and mock me just leave okay."  You open up to him and he mocks you in return. Amazing.

"I'm being serious. I'm not mocking you or joking around, I'm in love with you. You want an explanation, so I'm giving you one." He breathed, looking at you hoping to receive some reaction. All he got was a small head tilt which he took as a sign to continue. 

"The reason I yelled at you was because I was scared. I thought you were going to die and that terrified me, I've lost everything, and I don't want to lose you too. I didn't know how to handle it, so I lashed out. I truly am sorry, Sunflower." You froze trying to process everything, was he telling the truth? 

"Lyla and Jess helped me realize my true feelings for you." He whispered. 

When you said nothing for a few minutes he started to get scared, he was ready to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness if he had to. 

"Can you… say something? Please?"

"I can't forgive you just yet." He would never admit to what happened next but he started sobbing. All this was too much, being vulnerable was an unknown feeling to him. 

"Woah, wait hey, don't cry. Let me-" Before you could finish your sentence he fell to his knees, arms clutching your waist like a lifeline. 

You were beyond confused, you thought this whole interaction was some sort of weird dream. Miguel O'Hara down on his knees, for you? Wow, two months ago you would've scoffed and rolled your eyes at that. 

Nonetheless, you ran your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him. 

"Miguel, honey, listen to me. Just because I'm not ready to forgive you now, doesn't mean I never will." His face was still squished against your midriff, and his breathing was slowly returning to normal, with a few sniffs here and there. 

"So, you'll come back?" Seeing him in such a state broke your heart, you were still upset with him but were willing to give him a chance. 

"Yes, I'll come back tomorrow." At that, he smiled properly for the first time in weeks. 

He stayed there for a few moments, letting you comb through his hair gently, he would cherish this brief moment forever. 

"I should get going then. The multiverse needs saving." He said hoarsely, standing up, he was slightly embarrassed by this side of him. 

"Maybe use the door this time." He lightly chuckled at your statement, the warm feeling took over him once again.

Miguel did not want to leave, he wanted to stay here with you, but he knew that wasn't an option right now.

Before he left he had to get one last thing off his chest.

"Could you, not tel-" 

"Tell anyone about this? Don't worry, this stays between us only." 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Everyone was surprised to see you back the next day. 

The second you walked in, everyone was all over you, hugging you and filling you in on everything you missed. It felt good to be back. 

"I'm so happy you're back," Gwen whispered, hugging you tightly. 

"I'm happy to be back, Gwendy. I missed you guys so much." 

"Hey quit hogging Sunflower, it's my turn to hug her now." Miles huffed impatiently. 

"Me next!" Pavitr bounced enthusiastically. 

"Hey, not cool. I called dibs, man." Hobie groaned. 

"Hey, Sunflower, I have some new pictures of Mayday to show you." Everyone was so excited to see you again, it was chaotic, but it felt like home. They were your family. 

Miguel watched the scene from afar with a smile, he was glad everything was okay now. 

"So you fixed things up with her, huh?" Jess said, popping up behind him, once again taking him by surprise. 

"¡Ay, coño! Jess, stop doing that." 

"Sorry, not my fault you don't have a spidy sense." Jess hummed. "So, how did you get her to forgive you?" 

"I have my ways." 

"You got down on your knees and begged her, didn't you?"

"How did you know?" Miguel whisper-yelled. That was supposed to be a secret. 

"I have my ways." Jess winked. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── 

In a few weeks, everything was back to normal, you were back to your old self again. 

Except for the fact that you and Miguel were now closer than ever. That was new. 

You were always by his side, sticking close to him and he felt comfortable around you, always relaxed in your presence. 

He wasn't sure if you forgave him just yet, but he was willing to wait for as long as you needed. 

He did small things to show you he cared, sometimes it was bringing you coffee, other times it was giving you your favorite flowers. 

You knew he was sorry, and in your heart, you forgave him a long time back. 

So, you finally decided to tell him. 

You guys were in his office having lunch, he didn't like to eat out in the cafeteria. You both would usually sit in silence enjoying each other's company. 

"Hey, Miguel." 

"Hm?" 

"I forgive you." 

He raised his eyebrows in confusion taking a moment to realise what you meant. When he finally got it, his eyes widened almost comically. 

"Oh, you do?" He was trying to hide his smile but failed horribly. 

"I forgave you a long time back, but I just… needed some time." You nodded.  

"I understand that. Thank you for giving me another chance." 

"Actually, to forgive you fully, I want one thing from you." You declared, confidently. 

"I'll do anything, Sunflower." He'd indeed do anything for you. 

"I want you to go out on a date with me." 

His brain stopped working. You were asking him out on a date. 

"Miguel? Is that a yes or no?" You grew nervous at his lack of response. Did you cross boundaries? You thought he liked you. 

"I would love to." You quickly beamed at his response, after months of waiting it was finally happening. 

"So, how about tomorrow, at 7?" You giggled. 

"Sounds perfect." He sighed, softly smiling. 

He couldn't wait for tomorrow. 

#📂 ‧₊˚ my works .ᐟ #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman atsv #spiderman x reader #spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara angst

[anundyingfidelity]

FOR ALL TIME, ALWAYS – Loki x female reader

Summary: Loki escapes the TVA for a moment. Desperate and brokenhearted, he looks for you, his wife, in the Sacred Timeline. Even if you saw him die ten years ago.

Word count: 3.9k.

Warnings: LOTS of angst, some fluff, spoilers of Loki series in general. Language. Maybe I'm not getting how the branches work oops. This is right after the end of 2x02 and before 2x03. My English is also a warning, just in case.

Notes: while looking on the tags I checked a post of someone asking for a TVA Loki fic where he finds the reader but her Loki died in IW (not canon in my head btw). So I wrote it because is such a great idea, but I can't find the original post... ;-; anyway hope you like this!

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

It's harder to stay...

Wasn't this situation hard enough? Sylvie was right. She had a point. But Loki wanted to do the right thing. Maybe he would find a chance... Again, right? Probably he would make the proper decisions this time.

The TVA was already fucked up, and with it, the thousands of timelines and lives in danger within them. Sometimes, it looked like it didn't matter. In the end, they were trying to fix something that was already broken.

Loki let out a deep breath he didn't realise was holding and walked to talk directly to his partner, Mobius.

"I need a favor," Loki mumbled, so the grey-haired man would be the only person to hear his voice.

Mobius met his eyes. He knew that gaze, it meant he was up to something. "What kind of favor?"

The god motioned Mobius to step away from the newly acknowledged variants and far away from what B-15 was witnessing. The branches were pruned from the whole existence; thousands and millions of lifes lost to the void in just the blink of an eye. Loki knew he had to do something before it got worst. Something for himself.

"I need to go the Sacred Timeline," Loki announced.

"Are you nuts?" Mobius scolded, in the same low voice tone Loki had used.

"Is just- listen, it's something I have to do. I really need to go back there. Need to see someone, make sure everything is okay," Loki insisted.

During all the times Loki showed he was desperate, Mobius was sure this was the peak of all of them. He wasn't explaning more than necessary, he looked serious, and his voice was crisp. Loki knew what he wanted at that moment. Mobius sighed, his hands finding the pockets of his pants, unsure of Loki's request.

"So it's personal..."

"A little, yeah," Loki nodded.

"Promise it'll be quick," Mobius said, taking off the TemPad from his pocket and his hand stopped in the air before the object could lay in the god's grip. "Don't make me regret this."

"I won't."

2029, Sacred Timeline

When Loki arrived to his destination, the nerves got the best from him. New York looked no different from the last time he was there. Shifting his usual clothes he wore at the TVA, he chose a plain suit to go undercover, or at least decided he would try to, considering he was a criminal once in Midgard.

But as he walked through the halls of the familiar building he met decades ago, he didn't really care. He longed for something else. Better say, someone. And it was you.

You, who met him in the past right after Thor's banishment, and even helped him to find the Teseract, only to give up to SHIELD and those idiots that people called 'The Avengers'. Of course his heart hurted for a long time, but Loki tried to deny the feelings blooming inside and instead, he just decided to walk away from you, even if that meant hurting you. It was the best.

At least that was what he believed until he checked further his file; the file that Mobius had prepared for him. His life. Even after what he did to your people and planet, you still held no grudges. And Thor was good enough to seek for yours and the sorcerer's, Stephen Strange, help once Hela appeared in their lives.

Loki would never forget the loving look in your beautiful eyes when you saw him again, after years of parting ways. He really paid attention to you while watching his file, and he found there was only love, protection, and care in you. All for him. Someone who didn't deserve it, he thought.

He felt grateful at least he had the pleasure to enjoy happiness for a moment. Even if that meant Asgard was destroyed. Loki already lost his mother, his father, and he almost lost his brother. He couldn't stand losing you either. The simple idea of living without you - even if he didn't know you further than your Loki did - was unbearable pain.

So while in the ship on the way to Midgard with the asgardians and survivors of the Ragnarok, you held a cozy, small wedding when he asked you to marry him. This was one of the parts Loki would replay again and again from his file, with disbelief that he was actually happy and joyful, enjoying a good time with you, his brother, and all the asgardians who survived. Loki felt full of hope after your wedding, thinking fate had better things to come with you as an oficial part of his life.

Unfortunately, it didn't last long, thanks to the Mad Titan. As his steps got near your door, the memory of his brother and your figure mourning on his lifeless body appeared on his mind. It was an image he couldn't erase that easily. Probably, he would never forget that was his original destiny all the way. That was meant to be. And for now, he could not change it.

Loki stopped outside your apartment. He took a deep breath and raised his shaking hand to reach the doorbell. He waited for a moment, not knowing if seconds or minutes went by, it felt eternal. Until the door opened and he saw you.

The bright smile you had on your lips faded away. Your eyes flooded with tears, your forehead was furrowed, and still, Loki thought you were the most beautiful creature in all the Nine Realms.

"Hi..." Loki barely whispered, his eyes were glossy and a single tear also ran down his pale cheek.

You were clearly in shock. You wanted to get closer and finally touch him, to feel him physically. But even if you wanted to move to take his hand to confirm it wasn't a trick of your ruined mind, your body was stiff and your feet were glued to the ground.

"Is this an illusion?" you trembled.

All Loki could do was shaking his head, before muttering. "No..."

"Loki, I saw you die..."

Tears ran down your face, denying to yourself that this was real. That this was really happening to you. And your mind started to wonder all the possible scenarios and reasons on why him, the god of mischief, the only person you loved dearly with all your mind, body and soul, was standing right in front of your door even if he was gone for you... Long gone now. And that couldn't be undone.

"I know you did, my love."

You tried to smile, even a little bit, as he pronounced those words so dearly. Loki came closer to your figure, carefully placing a trembling hand on your cheek, feeling the tears flowing on your skin. You leaned into his touch, with a simpering smile. Such was the effect you had on him, that a silly smile he also had on his lips.

And you realized Loki was so real... His touch, his heat, his smile, his scent, the way he would hold you... Everything about him was exactly as you remembered. You felt his lips brushing softly against yours, gentle and hesitant, and instantly, you melted into a slow kiss, sure knowing that Loki would taste the salt of your tears running down your face. Leaning in closer as the space between would allow you, you savoured each second your breaths allowed, longing to remain right there for eternity. For all time. Always.

"But now I am here... and I can explain," he whispered once you separated your lips from his in the sweetest way.

You let out a soft chuckle. "Mind to enlighten me, oh, god of mischief?"

Finally you guided him inside your apartment. That old apartment Loki saw his other self visiting a couple of times before you were something. It still had your vibe around it and he loved it. He felt like he was at home after a very long time. Once you closed the door, his arms wrapped around your figure, and you let yourself cry, pressing against his chest and with a tight grip of your hands on his coat.

"You don't have any idea of how much I have missed you all these years," you sobbed and his heart shrank on his chest. "I kept wishing every night and every day to be me instead of you."

"My love," he said softly, separating a little and cupping your cheeks with his warm hands. His eyes were red now because of the tears he was holding back again. "Don't say that... It was supposed to happen."

"What?" you mumbled.

Your hands found his wrists and you pulled his palms away from your cheeks. However you kept the contact with him, you just needed to touch him, to feel he was in the flesh. He was alive right now, wasn't he?

"Look, I am not your Loki. I know what you did, what the Avengers did after Thanos-" his voice broke just a bit but he continued. "I know everything. I just couldn't resist knowing there was someone for me, out there in the Nine Realms, capable to love me for who I am," Loki explained as he watched your face. Was it disappointment? Confusion? He didn't know, but he had to tell you the truth.

Your voice came out as a barely audible whisper. "So... you are saying... you're another Loki? Another him?"

He nodded softly. "I am." Loki thought for a moment on how to explain everything, but he just went for what his heart felt it was right. "It's a little complicated. I did something that wasn't supposed to be, and perhaps will sound like I'm insane, but thanks to that I am kind of trapped in time. With an organization that is not what everyone thought it was, hence a multiverse was created. Sponsored by another me, by the way. You are in what is called the Sacred Timeline, where things flow as how they were supposed to since forever. And I just needed to see you after I found out you were the love of my life."

You took a moment to understand everything he said, wishing that his fate would have been different from what originally happened. Loki gave his best, even in the last worst moments, he was changing for good. For you. For Thor... It wasn't fair.

"Your death was supposed to be then?"

"Yes, it was."

"Oh, Loki," you cried. "You know what, I don't care what's happened. I'm just- I feel happy seeing you here... Please tell me everything you've been through. I want to hear your voice again, to know you're with me right now, to feel you near... I'm not crazy, am I?" you chuckled between tears and Loki curved his lips in a smile, wiping your tears from your face with his thumbs.

Loki granted your wish and explained everything, answering every question you had about the lies of the TVA; the files he found out were his whole life; about Sylvie, Mobius and his variants. He spilled all you wanted to hear, asking like a child, until you understood what was happening. You noticed he truly had changed, just like your Loki did when he reunited with Thor before the Ragnarok took over Asgard. It was a bittersweet feeling however, thinking how much they they seemed to each other. They were the same person after all, but this Loki didn't had the chance to continue his path as it was supposed to.

Taking his hand into yours, you leaned towards him and laid down your head on his shoulder while you both sat comfortable in the couch, just enjoying each others company. Your eyes were dry at this point after crying for what it felt were hours, but his voice helped to soothe you enough.

"I'm glad knowing you have someone like Mobius by your side," you said after a quiet moment. "He sounds like a very good friend," you looked at him, waiting for an answer. "Because that's what he is to you, right?"

"He is a great friend, I'm not alone if that is what is troubling you," Loki affirmed.

You let out a sigh. "That is totally a relief to me."

Loki chuckled softly, leaning to leave a kiss on your hair. "Now you've heard everything about me, would I hear something from you?"

"I'm just a mortal, Loki," you smiled. "Doing the normal shit, not the superhero stuff anymore. I am hating my pretty much normal office job every day; I feed the birds when I go outside at the park, also thinking about adopting a cat or a dog... Maybe a dog."

"Or you could do both."

"Yeah, I might. But my place isn't that big for pets. Sometimes I feel like I'm too alone, very much alone... I would love to have a big farm, or a cabin in the mountains with lots of plants, pets and animals to take care of." The idea did sound good for Loki. Hopefuly you could find peace that way. "Do you remember Pepper?" you said, straighting up on the couch to look at him. He nodded. "Well, after Tony died I still visit her and their daughter, Morgan. She is ten years old, could you believe it?" Loki noticed the sorrow and pain you still carried after all those years of losing your friends, your people... "And I've been missing you and mourning you for ten years as well."

"It's not your fault."

"I know, Loki."

"Do whatever is the best for you, my dear... I would have loved to be here with you now, as the Loki from the Sacred Timeline."

You smiled, but it was a sad smile. "Well, either way, you're here now. It's all that matters to me."

Once again, you shared a loving kiss and took his hand to walk to the kitchen, asking him to take a seat in your breakfast bar, glad he decided to search for you in one of your free days. Otherwise, you would have surely missed his visit. But he was looking for you. Probably Loki would have found you anywhere at this point.

You talked some more while you had some tea and ate some cookies that you saved for special days on the shelfs. The afternoon was pleasant, and this was your turn to speak. Loki, coat long gone, was catching up with you and he asked every single thing about your life now. He smiled more than ever, laughed more than you have ever seen, and it was certainly something you could get used to from now on. Knowing you never continued your life with another person made his heart ache though. However, Loki was no one to blame. He would have done the same thing. No other was like you, no one would have replaced you.

"It's my decision," you finally said, reading his face like an open book. "I have loved you, I love you now and I will love you forever."

He took your hand, lacing your fingers with his. "I know..."

"The day we married you gave me a ring. I always have it with me, today I'm not working, but I use this necklace with your ring," you searched for the necklace hiding inside your shirt and taking it off, you showed him the precious jewel hanging on a fine golden chain. The ring he recognized once was from his mother. "I want you to have it."

"No,I can't-"

"But this is what I want. I know I would have to forget, because you will make me forget about this. About you, coming here, risking everything just to see me. So please, take it."

Loki knew you had made a decision, but then if he left, taking your memories away about this day, what was left for you? He had nothing, and it was okay. He would still know he came to the Sacred Timeline; that he kissed you, that you shared a moment together, that you still loved him. But you will have none of that. And you, as human as you were, would die without the memories and without the ring. You would have nothing and he was sure couldn't bear it.

"Perhaps I can have something else to remember you, I want you to keep this ring as a promise," he closed your hand around the necklace. "My promise that I still love you and I will do it. Forever."

And you sighed, taking the necklace back with a smile. Always so stubborn. "Give me a moment."

Loki saw you leave the kitchen for some minutes. While he was alone, he noticed the sunset through the windows, as it was almost ending to welcome the dark sky around the city. He knew he had to go soon. As much as he didn't want to and the simple thought of runing away was starting to hurt him deep inside.

When you arrived, you stood by his seat on the breakfast bar, putting a small photograph, perfect for a passport, on the surface. It was all in black and white, and you looked what you thought it was nice. Loki took it between his hands, lovingly and with a proud smile on his face.

"I used that when I was taking my Master's degree. Looks pretty decent," you joked.

Loki laughed, tears right at the corner of his eyes. "It's more than that. It's perfect."

His smile faded, knowing this meant he had to leave you again. Loki wasn't supposed to have a happy ending, was he? How he wished to stay there by your side.

You kissed his cheek as a sort of goodbye and comfort at the same time, noticing the sudden change on his face and whispered softly. "So you don't search for me on those files."

"Thank you, love."

Loki got on his feet to put his coat on, like some sort of mental preparation before leaving your apartment and the Sacred Timeline. He saved your photograph on his pocket securely along with Mobius' TemPad, pretending to be strong and swallowing all the pain he was feeling right at that moment. You took his hand, lacing your fingers together one last time and walked until you stood there, in the middle of your living room. He looked at you with loving eyes, trying to save your face and your figure before returning to where he was supposed to be now. And it seemed like time had stopped, as everything Loki could see and feel was you and only you.

"I guess is time now," you began, interrupting his mind.

"I guess it is," Loki nodded, expecting an answer from you. Anything. But it never came. You were also trying to save the moment as much as you could.

So he cupped your cheeks, feeling for the last time your warm, soft skin against his palms. He didn't want to talk, because if he would have said something, it meant you were really saying goodbye forever. What Loki didn't know is that you felt the same thing.

Was there something good to say to your lover, whose destiny was just to bring the best from other people with his cruelty and chaos? To the man who had learn to make things better and, in the end, died trying to protect his people and his wife? Was there anything out there that would bring the god of mischief the happiness and love you always knew he deserved? With these branches and multiverse thing, you hoped deep in your heart there was a universe where he found what he longed for so long. This was just one of many of them. Probably he was happy and living in peace in some others.

"I love you, Loki," you mumbled. He caressed your skin with his thumbs and wiped the small tears that were running on your cheeks.

"I love you too."

Loki leaned to kiss you one last time. You welcomed the kiss with shut eyes, savouring his lips and the taste of your tears, mixing now with his own.

The pain started to bloom; every heartbeat felt like a sledgehammer pounding against his chest. He was not ready to let you go, so this was all he could do. The seidr flowed from his fingers, the green lights covering your body with the help of the spell he casted for you was made to protect you from anything that could get out of hand in the Sacred Timeline, particularly from his own hands, the hands of the TVA, or any other danger that could chase you. Because if something would happen to you due to his stubborn decision, Loki knew he wouldn't forgive himself. What he was sure about though, was that he would still look for you until the end of time.

So when the kiss ended, you fell asleep in seconds. He had to take your sleeping figure with his arms to your bedroom, where he carefully laid you down on the bed. Making sure you were comfortable in your sleep, fixing the pillows and the blankets, Loki remained there, just to take in the serenity emanating from you. It was something you had, the ease and calm your aura projected to everyone in the room. This was the last thing Loki wanted to save from you.

He kissed your forehead and dried the tears on your face before standing up. Once you were to wake up in some hours, you would not be able to know everything was real. Loki made sure you thought it was a dream. So that is what you would have in your head. Something you wished for so long that will only be nothing but thoughts, scenes and emotions that felt absolutely true. As real as life could be.

Loki took the TemPad and opened the timedoor to go back to the TVA, where he knew Mobius would be waiting already since he left for hours. Without looking back to your room, he stepped in and forced to compose himself just in case he would bump into someone else. He sighed, observing through the halls of the headquaters as he made his way back to the room that was assigned to him.

At his door, a worried Mobius was already waiting for him, walking in circles.

"God, Loki I thought you were gone for a second," the analyst breathed out. Loki just handed the TemPad and Mobius took it back. He noticed his weary demeanor and teary eyes. "Thank you. Sorry I doubted you for a second."

"It's fine," Loki shrugged it off, looking for something on his pocket. The photograph slipped from his fingers and fell down to the floor. Mobius was quick enough to pick it up for him, but as he gave it back to his owner he observed it thoroughly.

"So this was the personal thing you did," Mobius said, looking the photograph resting on Loki's hand. He remembered that face from his files.

"Yeah... I guess all set now," Loki sighed.

"Good, I hope you're ready for another trip to the Sacred Timeline." Mobius turned to walk away, deciding it was better to give him some time, but he turned back to Loki before doing so. "And if you're feeling like talking about this any day, only between us, just let me know."

And with that, he walked away. Loki smiled, standing alone outside his door.

You were right. Mobius was a good friend.

#loki x reader #loki x female reader #tva loki x reader #tva loki x female reader #tva!loki x reader #loki imagines #loki angst #loki laufesyon x reader #loki series fanfiction #loki season 2 #mcu loki x reader #mcu loki #loki series

[sxcret-garden]

Haechan ღ Painted with You [M]

ღ NCT Dream Haechan x fem!reader ღ feat.: short mentions of Renjun & Jeno ღ words: ~15k ღ genre: college AU, fwb to lovers, exes to lovers, fluff, slice of life, slow burn, pining, reader is a little dense, angst, humor, smut (switch!Haechan (but sub-leaning), oral (both receiving), hair pulling (idol receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some begging, fingering, handjob, edging, orgasm denial (idol receiving), dry humping) ღ warnings: alcohol consumption, depiction of anxiety and reader feeling burnt out, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

Desc.: You and Donghyuck were a couple back in high school, each having your own reasons for dating the other, but ultimately what you seeked out in each other was a distraction. Now that you meet again five years later, you both come to realize that the connection between you is still there, and eventually it’s crystal clear that the people you’ve become won’t be as easily separated as back then.

Author's note: aaaa I've had this in my drafts for sooo long avoiding to proofread it cause I wasn't happy with this at all... so now I finally came back to it to edit a bit and I think in the end it turned out quite okay^^ I hope you guys like it 🫶

There’s a hint of victory in the smile he gives you when you sit down next to him. Like he knew it would come to this - that you’d get bored of exchanging mundanities with the others and eventually find yourself drawn to him as your only escape. And it’s not like you didn’t know it too, it was clear from the moment you greeted each other with a hug that lasted shorter than it should have, and at the same time felt more familiar than you wanted it to. Yet his stance is inviting as he turns his whole body towards you in his seat, and the curiousity in his eyes is apparent.

“Long time no see,” he says, and it comes out softer than you would’ve expected it to. And he probably had the same thought, because he’s clearing his throat now, talking more firmly as he continues, “What have you been up to?” The last time you’ve seen each other was at your high school graduation ceremony, and since then it’s been almost five years. Which, as your former class president Renjun had decided, was about enough time to gather for a reunion. 

“Well, you know. This and that,” you try to avoid an answer, but of course he wouldn’t let you off the hook so easily. He knows you too well for that.

“Come on,” he snorts. “You can tell me. My time wasn’t spent in a purely productive manner either.”

“You probably spent about 3 years total on just playing video games…” you say with a grin playing on your lips, and you make him huff in disbelief, before his expression as well returns to a somewhat mischievous smile. 

“Now that was just tactless,” he says, straightening his back now. “I quit uni to go to work, and then started again with a different major. So now I’m a freshman!” He gives you a peace sign with his hand, sounding a lot prouder about the fact than he should’ve been.

“Feeling like 19 again?” you joke.

“Yes! Everyone automatically assumes I’m their age,” he explains. “But then I tell them I’m older, so I can make them work for me!” An exaggeratedly mischievous laugh follows, and you can only shake your head at his shenanigans.

“You haven’t changed at all,” you say, turning away and facing the bartender working just a few seats away. Originally you were all going out for dinner and nothing more, but when some girls suggested paying a nearby bar a visit, nobody could refuse in the face of getting some booze into their veins. Maybe you aren’t the only one who’s getting fucked over by life.

“One margarita,” you raise your hand and order, then you add, directed at Donghyuck, “Anything for you?”

“Just soju.” And so after placing both your orders, he adds, “Still can’t drink the adult drinks?”

“Excuse you, it has alcohol in it, so it is an adult drink. But if you’re asking if I still hate bitter stuff - yes I do.”

“I see… anyway, I’m not letting you get away without properly answering my question.”

“Too bad,” you respond. “Well…” And then you hesitate. You remember what it was like between the two of you in high school. When you were dating, each for your own reasons and certainly not because you had feelings for each other. But he still felt like a friend you could entrust your deepest feelings with - you knew each other like the back of your own hand. And yet, you find yourself hesitating in the face of five years passed by without a word from the other. It wasn’t like you had a fight or broke up on bad terms. It’s just that you both agreed it would be better not to see each other again, for reasons that seemed smart at the time. But now that you’re looking at the person he’s become and how much he seems to have grown up, you’re not sure anymore what those reasons even were.

“That bad?” Donghyuck interrupts your train of thought as he raises an eyebrow at you, and when you shake your head a short laugh escapes him.

“No, just… I’m also still in university,” you say. “I had to take a year off, so I’m trying to finish everything now. It’s not going great though.”

“Oh…” he looks away, directing his gaze at his hands that he’s hiding in the sleeves of his knitted sweater. “Are you managing though?” And that’s when you suddenly feel the past and the present connect - the way he immediately becomes serious when the situation calls for it, just like he has always done, makes you feel safe to keep speaking, and to keep your heart open, just for a bit.

“It’s… difficult,” you admit. The bartender sets down your ordered drinks, causing another pause, and you acknowledge it with a nod. “I’m trying not to do too much, but you know what’s it like living here.”

“Yeah,” he says. “That fucked you over before, didn’t it?”

“Yeah.” You fall silent after that, but not for long. Your conversation partner is Donghyuck after all, he wouldn’t let an awkward silence get too long.

“I have changed… by the way.” You raise your eyebrows at him as he speaks those words, letting the sip of your cocktail slowly trickle down your throat.

“Have you?” you ask. “Well, I mean… you’ve grown up.”

“Oh?” Suddenly seeing him straightening his back as he’s overjoyed, you can’t but giggle at the way his face is graced with a beaming smile now, but he glosses it over with a cough and a sip of his soju.

“But you sure are still the same guy,” you add, a nostalgic smile on your lips. 

“I guess,” he agrees, his features softening. Another pause falls upon you as you give your cocktail another taste, and this time it’s you who breaks the silence. Continuously chatting, you’re starting to feel a little tipsy from the sweet beverage after a while.

“I heard you got a girlfriend?” Donghyuck huffs, a wide smile meant to hide a bitter feeling appearing on his face.

“Yeah…”

“What about her?” you pry, sensing something off.

“Dumped me,” he simply says, then pointing across the room and at Jeno, one of your former classmates. “For that guy.”

“Ouch.”

“It’s whatever,” he shrugs it off, pouring himself another glass and offering the shot to you instead. “You sure you don’t want any?”

“I’d rather have my own drink, thanks.”

“Alright. Then cheers.” He downs the shot, grimacing at the taste, and when he sets the glass back down, he adds, “I don’t get why she went for him anyway. I bet it’s cause of all that muscle he got.” You can’t help but chuckle at his words, and you hit his upper arm playfully.

“You should hit the gym too and then see if you can get her back.”

“Very funny,” he replies dryly. “I’d rather die.”

“Understandable…” you reply, taking another sip of your drink as well. “So… you’re probably glad I finally came to you.” Donghyuck shoots you a questioning look and you explain yourself. “For a distraction. Like in the old days, you know?”

“Ahh…” He merely lets out a sound, before staring at his empty shot glass. 

“You’re not doing that anymore?” you assume.

“I guess.”

“Yeah… me too,” you say. “Or like… I stopped using people for it.”

You were dating back then, that’s true, but you wouldn’t go as far as to call yourselves high school sweethearts. You were both going through some stuff - for him it was a breakup with his first love, for you it was just life itself. When you were both at your lowest you started talking properly, and it soon became clear that you both wanted nothing more than to escape. And so you formed an alliance - as you used to call it, to everyone else you simply said that you were a couple now. You did behave like a couple, but just for the rush. The first time you held his hand you felt nothing, but when you made out secretly in the backyard of your school instead of attending class, that’s when you were overwhelmed with excitement. It was a stupid idea, you know that now too, and it only worked for so long. You spent the summer of your junior year together, meeting up almost every day and talking, and eventually distracting yourselves by making out secretly in your or his room. And then your final year came, and as you started seeing yourselves forced to take life a bit more seriously, you gradually met up less, until you both agreed that breaking up would be the best decision, so that you could focus on your studies and try to get into a good university. At least for your part, you still have mixed feelings when you remember that day. Because you know you made the adult decision, but at the same time you always end up thinking back to what fooling around with him felt like when you have a bad day now, and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it at least a bit. But you found other distractions - obsessing over tv series, finding just the perfect kind of music to drown out your feelings, and sometimes, whenever you could find a good excuse to drink with friends, alcohol. Though you’re being careful with the latter, just as you are now. One drink is usually enough to help you relax a bit and not pay all the things stressing you out so much thought.

“So when are we gonna start writing your redemption arc?” you ask nonchalantly, and he raises an eyebrow at you. “Your ex.”

“Stop that, for real,” he says, and the way he remains serious tells you your joke wasn’t well received.

“Sorry,” you utter.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” He’s playing with the glass in his hands, thumb rubbing along its edge as he keeps staring at it, and you take the last few sips of your drink, before you too start spinning the cocktail glass around between your fingers.

“Actually…” Donghyuck speaks up, now throwing you an entirely different look. “How about we get out of here. Maybe we could both use a distraction after all.”

“But-”

“Just for today.” You stare at him blankly, blinking once, twice, then a third time. This sounds like a bad idea, but at the same time you know you’re probably not gonna see each other for the next five years, just like it was for the past five. So what would be so bad about taking his offer now?

“Alright,” you say eventually, having made up your mind. “My place? It’s nearby.” His lips are parted slightly as he watches you jump out of your seat and put on your jacket. As the air around you changes, so does the look in his eyes, and a moment later he gets up too, his arm wrapped loosely around your waist while he holds the door open for you as he walks you out of the place.

“You really have changed,” you comment as you’re sneaking out, so none of the others would notice, and you giggle at your unnecessary secrecy once you’re past the entrance to the building.

“I can be a gentleman too!” he insists. “Of course a high school boy wouldn’t think of that.” You catch the pout that forms on his lips as he adds the last part, and you inevitably laugh, pointing at his face.

“But you’re also really still the same.”

You decide on going to your place, as it’s nearby, and you take a taxi there. Though you know this is only going to be a one time thing, neither of you seems to be in a rush. You take the elevator to the sixth floor, grinning at each other in silence the entire ride - maybe because this reminds the both of you a bit too much of the way you used to sneak off together all the time back in school. But once you arrive at your apartment, the atmosphere between you somehow changes, and as you’re walking over to your little kitchen to offer him a drink, he stops you, wrapping his arm around your waist. His touch is firm now, and he comes to a halt when he’s standing right in front of you, closer than a friend would, but leaving more distance between you than a lover would, and keeping his voice lowered, he asks,

“So… are we going to go right to the distraction part? Or do we need to pretend that we still need to warm up to each other first?” You find him staring at your lips, then returning his gaze to your eyes as he waits patiently for your response. And you don’t manage to come up with anything smart to say to him, so you simply take a step forward, wrapping your arms loosely around his shoulders, and you kiss him. His lips feel soft, just like you remember them, melting against yours perfectly. Yet there’s a firmness to his kiss that feels new to you. He used to always kiss you with eagerness, too much of it at times, impatient to feel more of you and for you to take control. It was no secret between you two that he actually quite enjoyed being put into his place by you, and now that there’s no such intentions apparent behind the way he moves his lips against yours, you find yourself having your breath taken away by the time you part. 

“You really did grow up well…” you mutter, barely an inch apart. “Did your ex teach you to kiss like that?” 

“Watch your mouth, Y/N,” he mutters darkly, another side of him that’s not exactly new to you, but one that you haven’t seen a lot in the past. And then he simply brushes his lips against yours again, softly and with care, quite in contrast to his sharp words. “I don’t wanna ruin this with thoughts about people I don’t know anymore.”

“Right…” you whisper, and before you can add a mumbled apology, he presses his lips to yours again. In between short kisses that inevitably leave you longing for more, he steers you closer to the wall behind you, until he has you trapped against it. Your shoulders meet the cold surface gently, and as you’re slowly getting to know this different side of him, you feel yourself being swept off your feet like he never knew how to. 

One of his hands resting on your waist, his fingertips creep towards your hip as you’re sharing an open mouthed kiss. A moan escapes you when he presses you up against the wall closer, and as he slowly parts from you, you can see the playful grin showing on his face now.

“You changed too,” he comments, and again he closes the distance between you without giving you a chance to question his words. Your hands finding their way up into his short hair, your fingers get tangled with the strands and you carefully tug at them as he deepens this kiss as well. He’s kissing you slowly as you let him have the lead naturally, and as you keep making out like this, you eventually find yourself burning up whole under his touch. He moves from your mouth to your neck eventually, and you lean your head back with a deep sigh as he begins scattering hot kisses all over the area. His hand that’s been propped up against the wall now finds the back of your nape to support you, and when he comes back up, he whispers a question,

“Do we keep going like we used to? Or do you wanna go all the way this time?” Drunk on his kisses, you pull him in for another one on the mouth, and as you part you mutter,

“We’re not kids anymore. Let’s go all the way.” You step aside and he lets you, and you reach for his hands to walk him over to your couch. Giving him a push, he lets himself fall back onto the sofa, leaning against the backrest as his curious gaze never leaves you. “Don’t need this anymore…” you mumble as you pull off your shirt and throw it somewhere onto the ground, and then you crawl into his lap to straddle him. His hands find purchase on your hips immediately as he looks up at you with warm eyes. You cup his face in your hands and you lean in, capturing his lips in a teasing kiss. Sinking your teeth into his bottom lip, you lure a breathy moan out of him, and wanting to hear more, you keep kissing him like that. Feathery touches that would for sure make him want more eventually become overshadowed by you rolling his hips on top of him, and with each time he lets you hear his voice you become more eager. It’s almost as if you’ve become the one who can’t wait, and he’s the one acting with patience.

“Never knew you could turn me on this much,” he mutters as you pull back, moving your hips at a leisurely pace. You can undoubtedly feel the bulge in his pants, and it’s certainly not leaving you unaffected.

“I grew up too, Hyuck,” you say, and then you bury your face in his neck. You kiss a trail up to the spot right below his ear as he leans back, and his hands wander up your sides and to your back when you start nibbling on his skin. 

“Mhm… you did, hm?” he answers. He finds the clasp of your bra and undoes it, and as the piece of clothing slides down your arms, you sit back so he can take it off you and fling it to the ground as well, somewhere in the general direction of where your shirt should be. He holds onto your sides as he takes in the sight in front of him, and as he draws closer to connect his lips to the skin on your chest, you can hear him saying,

“I know I never told you this as a boy but you look beautiful. I really regret not saying that to you.” He kisses his way up from the valley of your breasts to your throat and then back to your mouth, and just before he can connect his lips to yours, you whisper,

“It’s fine. I might’ve actually fallen for you if you had done that.” You laugh, and he does too, but his grin has a different meaning to it than yours.

“Don’t say that. We don’t want anything unfortunate to happen.” Connecting his lips to yours, he runs his tongue across them to ask for permission to enter, and without protest you let him deepen the kiss.

“Now you’re the one who said it,” you mumble a response in between kisses. “That’s a stupid thought anyway.”

“Right.” His fingertips dance south along your spine, and he eventually tugs at your pants as a sign that he wants those off as well. And so you peel yourself out of his hold, and while you’re discarding your jeans, he slips out of his shirt, and both clothing items land somewhere on the floor, soon to be forgotten. He makes you lie down flat on the couch as he crawls on top of you, and when he leaves a trail of small kisses up your torso, one of his hands finds its way to your hips, thumb hooking under the fabric of your panties.

“These too,” he says. “I want these off too.” You give him the okay to take them off as you comb your fingers through his hair once, and as soon as he’s gotten rid of the last piece of clothing on your body, he lowers himself to let his lips draw a map of your figure. Feeling his warm hands against your sides, you let out a sigh as you lean your head back and you close your eyes for a bit, just enjoying the way his kisses feel against your skin. Your hands fly to his hair again, and you find yourself massaging his scalp as he’s slowly going down on you. You let him lift your legs up onto his shoulders eventually, and when he buries his face between your legs, you can’t but let out a small moan. Tongue lapping at your folds, he hums at your taste, and then he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking on it gently. 

“That feel good?” he asks, slurring his words a bit, and you nod, tugging at the strands of hair between your fingers.

“Yeah. Keep going…” And so he does, alternating between teasing you with his lips and the tip of his tongue, and when he retrieves one hand to slide his fingers inside you, he comments,

“So wet for me, hm?”

“Y-yeah…” You can unmistakably feel the knot in your stomach being tied tighter with every single touch of his, and when he pumps his fingers in and out of you at a frustratingly slow pace, you find yourself begging for more. “Faster… p-please…” Donghyuck simply hums at your plea, before he obliges, curling his fingers inside you just a little faster. Gradually picking up on speed, the way he flicks his tongue against your clit along with the waves of pleasure that run through your body with each time he hits that sweet spot inside you make you slowly lose your mind, and you let him know just how good he’s making you feel by moaning in tune with his movements.

“Don’t stop… please don’t stop…” you mewl as you look down on yourself to find him already gazing back up at you, observing all of your reactions closely through half-lidded eyes. Just a few more repetitions and he’s throwing you over the edge, making you clench around his fingers as you throw your head back with a moan. “Fuck…” you mutter after he pulls out of you carefully, and he crawls back up to kiss you on the lips. You can taste yourself on his tongue as you share a lazy kiss, and once you part, you place your palms on his chest to push him off you.

“Your turn,” you simply state as you sit up and you make some space so you can comfortably kneel in front of the sofa. Getting the message, he hurriedly rids himself of his pants and boxers, and when he sits down in front of you, you don’t waste another second to wrap your fingers around his length. Giving him a few strokes, he’s fully hard in no time, and he watches as he leans back, enjoying the attention.

“You really have no patience anymore, huh,” he mutters, and you lick your lips before returning his gaze.

“Want me to torture you a bit? Make you beg for it? I can do that too.”

“I can beg if you want me to,” he retorts, the confident expression not being wiped off his face so easily, and you decide to keep that piece of information in mind. Just in case. But for now you’re not planning on making him wait - he’s right, you’ve become impatient, and you’re dying to know what kind of sounds you might lure out of him with his dick in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his tip a few times, watching him part his lips slightly as he lets you hear a deep sigh and a praise directed at you. “That’s right…” he mutters, and when you take his tip into your mouth fully, he lets you hear a moan so sweet, you swear you could cum just from the sound of it. Slowly bobbing your head up and down and having your hand that’s wrapped around his base follow those same movements, you enjoy the way he keeps moaning at your ministrations, until eventually you hum in approval and he whines from the pleasure.

“Fuck…” A curse escapes him when his tip hits the back of your throat and you gag a little, and you find yourself amused at how easy it is to make a guy whine as soon as you have him in a position like this. You go painfully slow, but he takes all of your teasing, and just when you start feeling bad for him because of how desperate his moans are, you speed up, making sure to take him in as far as you can. 

“Shit, Y/N…” he calls out to you. “Wait-”

“Hm?” You come up at his words, letting him slip out of your mouth.

“Wanna cum in your pussy…” The request makes you grin.

“So demanding…” you mutter, shooting him a challenging look.

“Please…” he tries to convince you, his pupils shaking as he’s awaiting your answer. But you’ve already made up your mind on how you’re going to proceed, and so you merely throw him a grin, before taking him back into your mouth. He throws his head back at you sucking him off at a faster pace now, probably in a mixture of frustration and pleasure, and as more curses fall from his lips along with your name, you know he’s close. You hum at his desperation and at the way he’s twitching in your hand while he’s bucking his hips up into your touch, and the next time you’re sinking all the way down on him, he cums with a moan. You try to swallow everything as he releases into your mouth, and when you let go of him you lick your lips to get the rest of it too, all while he watches with a hazy mind. And then you crawl into his lap, leaving a trail of kisses down the side of his throat, and eventually you say,

“Why not both?” You grab his face in one hand, gaze falling to his lips, and before he can say anything you kiss him to cut off his train of thought. “We have so much time tonight…” you mutter against his lips in between kisses, and he merely lets out small moans at your words. “We can do all the things we want. But let’s move somewhere more comfortable first.” And so you hurriedly walk over to your bedroom, Donghyuck pushing you against the mattress as soon as you’re there, and he doesn’t waste a single second to kiss you again. His lips nipping at your collarbones, you throw your arms around him, until finally you switch positions again, and you end up sitting on top of him, sinking down on his hard cock and biting your lower lip from how good it feels to be filled up like this.

“Fuck…” Now it’s you who’s cursing, fingers intertwined with his as you’re pinning his hands down to keep yourself stable. You know he’s drinking up the sight in front of him as you start slowly riding him, and the way he looks at you only turns you on more. 

“Shit, you look so pretty like this…” he mumbles, completely taken aback, and he sits up, freeing his hands to hold onto your sides instead. “Can I kiss you?”

“You’re asking that now?” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and he lets out a short laugh as he too realizes how ridiculous his question was.

“You’re right,” he mutters, leaning in. “Then I’ll just kiss you whenever I want.” A rush of heat courses through your body as he presses his lips against yours, and you roll your hips on top of him just a little faster.

“Please do,” you whisper, barely audible, before Donghyuck closes the distance between you again. You take your time making out, until both of you feel that you’re coming close again, and with one hand between your bodies, he starts rubbing your clit for you as you keep your pace.

“I’ll help you,” he whispers, unable to take his eyes off your face as you’re both completely drunk on the other’s touches.

“Mhm…” you moan, chasing your own high on top of him. You’re the first one who comes undone, digging your nails into his shoulders and burying your face in the crook of his neck as your high shakes you.

“Don’t stop, Y/N…” His words sound desperate, and you do your best to keep moving despite feeling the overstimulation building up. He has both his hands on your back now, and you let out a moan when you feel him dragging his nails down to your hips. “Shit…!” Spitting out a curse, he releases inside you, and finally you come to a halt. You stay in your positions for a while, waiting until your heartbeats have returned to a normal pace in each other’s arms, before you both lie down side by side, out of breath and grinning at the other.

“Didn’t think you’d get that good without me…” he mutters a comment.

“Hey!” you shout playfully. “What was I supposed to do if you just disappear on me like that?”

“You didn’t contact me either,” he tries to defend himself, but you both know it was him who stopped replying to your messages, even though your conversations were already scarce after graduating. For now you decide to say nothing - your mind filled with bliss from what your night out ended up turning into, you wouldn’t want to ruin the mood. Instead, he’s the one to break the silence.

“Wanna keep going?” he asks, scooting over closer to you and making you lie flat on your back, kissing a trail down your jawline and placing a hand on top of your stomach. “I wanna keep going,” he adds, more silently, as his fingers are already wandering south.

“Alright,” you mutter, your hand up in his hair again as he drags his fingers down your folds, dipping inside once and then coming back up to your clit to draw circles onto it. “If I walk weird tomorrow it’s your fault,” you add, laughing.

“You just made me wanna see that,” he jokes back, before pressing a kiss to the side of your throat and letting his fingers take care of you.

You keep in touch after that, texting each other throughout the day - even on those days where you barely find the time or energy to be social, you’ll at least send some memes back and forth - and meeting up whenever you both have some free time. It really feels like you’re continuing right where you had left off five years ago whenever you find yourselves unable to stop laughing because of your own bickering, or when you’re sitting side by side, having a more serious conversation and simply offering an open ear to the other. And at the same time something about the way you treat each other has undoubtedly changed. Of course you both grew up and you’re more mature than you were as high school students, but it seems there’s something else lingering in the air during every interaction you have, you just can’t really put your finger on what that is. 

You also keep meeting up to have sex. 

“So? What does that make us?” you ask a question into the dimly lit room, staring up at the ceiling. You’re both lying side by side on his bed, the sheets beneath you messed up as evidence of what you’ve been doing, and the chilly air in the room hitting your skin lets you cool down a bit.

“What? This?” Donghyuck asks, turning his head so he could look at you.

“Yeah,” you respond. “We’re not just friends if we’re constantly hooking up, are we?” Your words are accompanied by a chuckle, meant to tell him that you’re not being as serious as you sound. Or maybe you are, but mostly because your other friends keep asking where you’re sneaking off so frequently these days, and why you don’t seem to have the time to meet up with them anymore. And everytime you tell them you’re seeing a different friend, a part of you feels like you’re lying. Maybe that’s because they’ve stopped believing you too, and they keep urging you on to finally admit that you’re dating someone. But you’re not dating Donghyuck, right?

“Fuckbuddies?” He rolls onto his side, head supported by his hand, and he gives you a mischievous look.

“I guess,” you say, and after some consideration you add, “My friends keep asking who I’m meeting all the time. They think I have a boyfriend.”

“Well, what does it feel like when you kiss me?” You’re too stunned to speak for a moment, not expecting him to pose such a serious question.

“I mean… you’re a good kisser?” You grin at him, rolling onto your side as well so you could face him, and as you’re drawing near, he’s already reaching out to capture your chin between his thumb and index finger.

“That’s all?”

“I think so.” He lets his lips brush against yours, puffy and reddened from making out earlier, and you feel warmth wrap around you. You also feel safe with him, but that’s not exclusively related to him kissing you, so you don’t feel the need to mention it.

“Then I can’t be your boyfriend,” he mutters when you part.

“So friends… with benefits then?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, great,” you say, letting yourself fall onto your back, sinking into the mattress. “I can’t go around telling my friends that I’m seeing a fuckbuddy.” Your friend giggles beside you.

“I mean you don’t have to,” he says. “If it’s easier to explain, you can just pretend you’re seeing a boyfriend. I don’t mind.”

“I wonder…” you mumble, more to yourself than to him. “Then they’ll want to meet you, so… anyway.” You sit up, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. “I’m kinda hungry. You wanna order something?”

“I’ll make us some ramen. But we should shower first.” He sits up as well, and when you throw him a look over your shoulder, he cocks his head to the side, giving you another grin. “Together?” You laugh at his suggestion.

“You just want another round in there, don’t you? We’re never gonna get food in that case. I’m going alone.”

“Awww…” he whines in defeat and it makes you smile. You crawl closer to him, placing a peck onto his pouting lips.

“We kiss an awful lot for fuckbuddies, though,” you remark, and then you get up.

“I don’t think we’re kissing nearly enough…” he mumbles an answer. Amused by his words, you shoot him another glance, and then you trot off to the bathroom. 

“You free Friday night?” You glance at your phone screen when it lights up to quickly read Donghyuck’s message that you just received, and as you let out a sigh, you return your focus to the notebook in front of you. Skimming through your handwritten notes from the lecture you visited every wednesday afternoon a year ago still gives you anxiety - you’re not sure what more you’re supposed to study than this and the materials displayed on your laptop screen, and yet you don’t feel nearly prepared enough. You’re in your last semester - or at least you’re planning for this to be the last one - and you finally forced yourself to register for the exam you keep postponing because you horribly failed it the first time. The worst part is that it’s an oral exam, so no turning back once you’ve answered (or not answered) a question, even if a better response comes to you later on during the exam. And you hate that, because you know your brain tends to black out in stressful situations, and panicking while you’re supposed to recite your knowledge on a complicated topic doesn’t exactly help with that. You tear your eyes away from the materials eventually, taking another sip of your coffee and then picking up your phone off the small round dinner table in your flat.

“Sorry, I don’t have time then ㅠㅠ” You press send, and it doesn’t take long for your friend to reply.

“On the weekend? I’m busy Saturday but Sunday is fine!!”

“I don’t think I can make time until Tuesday. Sorry. Difficult exam coming up…”

“Then you should take a break!! I’m sure you’ve been studying all day” He’s not wrong with his assumption, but still you can’t bring yourself to set aside a few hours to fool around with him. You wouldn’t be able to relax and truly get the exam off your mind anyway, so you refuse again, even if it hurts you.

It’s been like this for a while now. The last time you’ve seen Donghyuck’s face was almost three weeks ago - after that university and sending job applications have taken up all your free time, and the few hours you had in between to rest you simply spent alone in the comfort of your own apartment, feeling too exhausted to even consider making plans with someone else. You know it might do you good to get out more for other things than going to uni, but at the same time you know you simply don’t have the energy right now - or you would’ve already scheduled a meetup with friends. It sucks, and you’re hoping for some space to breathe in between your schedules sometime soon, but at the same time you know you will be busy with uni until your graduation, and from then on you’ll be busy getting accustomed to work and proving yourself there. And the more you think about it, the more it starts to dawn on you that things will likely not change in the near future, and that somehow the life of a freshman and that of a senior don’t really match well at all.

But you brush those thoughts off for now. The last thing you need right now is a distraction, and so you get back to revising the contents for the exam.

And then comes Sunday afternoon, and you can feel the panic coursing through your veins as if you were about to suffocate from it any second now. You’ve always had some kind of exam anxiety, but it’s never been this bad, and you have absolutely no idea what to do with it except endure and hope that tomorrow will pass quickly. That’s when your phone buzzes to let you know you’ve gotten a message, and what you see when you open the chat room tips you over the edge. 

“This would’ve been more fun if we had watched it together~” - along with a picture of a laptop screen showing the credits of a movie, the interior of Donghyuck’s flat showing in the background. Your hands are shaking as you read his message, your head spinning because suddenly the stress and a feeling of helplessness overwhelms you. You end up doing the first thing that comes to mind - you call him. He picks up after the first ring.

“Jealous?” he teases you, and you stay quiet, your words suddenly stuck in your throat. Hearing only your ragged breathing, he sounds serious when he continues talking after a few moments of silence. “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“What’s up? Wanna talk about it?”

“...the exam…”

“Ahh… you’re freaking out because of it?”

“Y-yeah…” Tears well up in your eyes, but you fight hard to keep them from falling. You know if you start crying now, chances are you won’t be able to talk properly in order to explain yourself to him. “I studied everything but I don’t feel like it’s enough… I have no idea how I’m supposed to pass tomorrow…” A sob escapes you at the end of it, and Donghyuck doesn’t hesitate to answer,

“I’ll come over. Just wait for me and hold tight, I’ll be there in 30.” 

And so that’s what he does. He doesn’t even give you the time to refuse when he hangs up, and sure enough roughly 30 minutes later he’s at your doorstep. Putting down his bags and taking off his shoes, the first thing he does is pull you into a tight hug.

“Come here,” whispered against the side of your head as he’s already holding you close, he hugs you until he can feel some of the tension leaving your body. When he finally lets you go, he picks up a paper bag he brought with him, holding it out to you and you take it from him. “I bought them on the way. I thought you could use some comfort food.” A glance inside the bag reveals a box decorated with the logo of your favourite bakery.

“Oh my god… thank you!” you exclaim, and you give him another hug as he lets out a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Ah, it’s fine, it’s nothing. Let’s have these while we go over your materials together, okay?”

“Huh?” You take a step back and raise your eyebrows at him.

“I came to help you study. So you can kick ass tomorrow!” Throwing a fist in the air in a victorious gesture, you cringe a bit at his childlike enthusiasm, but at the same time you feel thankful. Like you had been in free fall for the past days and finally someone came to catch you.

“Okay,” you accept his offer to help, and then you walk over to the small table in your living room where your laptop and your notes are scattered all over. Briefly organizing them, you skim through them together, and when you’ve reached the end of it, Donghyuck starts asking you random questions related to the topic that he can come up with. And with every question that you manage to answer, you feel just a little calmer, until you’ve gone through everything several times and it’s long dark outside.

“You’re gonna do well tomorrow,” the guy sitting next to you tells you, throwing his hand up in the air to do some stretching and you do the same, your body aching for a bit of movement after sitting down for hours. 

“You think so?”

“Of course!” He seems almost offended at you doubting yourself now. “Look at all these things you memorized perfectly! You’re gonna be just fine.”

“You’re right…” you mutter. “I do feel more confident now.” Yet, you let your head hang.

“But…?” he asks.

“But… I know by the time the exam starts tomorrow I’ll be so nervous, I might forget everything…” He reaches for your hands, taking them into his and giving both of them a gentle squeeze as he looks intently at your face.

“Then you think about how well you just did and how long we just spent repeating everything you studied. With this much preparation, there’s no way you would fail.” You know that realistically speaking, that’s not necessarily true, but you decide to believe him for now. Putting trust into his words puts you at ease, so that’s what you’re going to do.

“Alright,” you say. “It’ll be fine.”

“Of course it will,” he says, laughing as if he had not a single doubt about it.

“But…”

“Another but?”

“It’s almost 2am,” you say.

“Oh.”

“Wanna stay over? It takes you ages to get home if you have to take the night buses, right?”

“It’s fine, I’ll just take a taxi,” he replies, adding, “I don’t wanna stress you out more by staying over.”

“No, I-” All the times you felt yourself forced to turn down his invitations to meet up during the past few weeks are suddenly fresh in your memory, and eventually you manage to say, “I’d actually be thankful if you could stay over… you know… keep the bad thoughts away…”

“Sure…” he responds, and growing very quiet suddenly, he gets up to wrap you into another hug. “I’ll stay.”

You each take a shower and get ready for bed, him throwing on some of his clothes you had lying around at your place anyway, and when you get under the sheets together, it feels different than usually when you sleep in the same bed. Neither of you has any thoughts about having sex for a change, and instead he simply pulls you close to let you rest your head on top of his chest. You wrap an arm around his waist as you listen to his heartbeat, already feeling sleepiness overcome you as you snuggle up to him and you can feel him drawing mindless patterns onto your skin. You feel a sense of peace and safety washing over you when your eyelids simply fall shut, and as you fall asleep you almost don’t register the way he presses a soft kiss onto your forehead.

When you open the email telling you that you got a C on your exam, the first thing you can think of doing is letting Donghyuck know. 

“I passed!!!” You send him a message, and he surely doesn’t let you wait too long for an answer, along with a little sticker of a bear wearing a gold medal and giving a thumbs up.

“I told you so!!”

“It’s all thanks to you,” you write. “We need to go celebrate! Drinks on me.”

“Sounds good~”

With a broad smile on your face you put your phone into the pocket of your padded jacket. It has become cold outside, and there’s a thin layer of snow on the streets from last night. It’s the beginning of December, and before Christmas and new years you’re still going to be very busy. You have two job interviews coming up, have to prepare for your final exams and in between you should find some time to work on your dissertation. Still somehow you’re confident that you would easily be able to find a date where you can go out for your little celebration with your friend, but when you run into him on campus a week later, reality hits you right in the face.

“Y/N!” Donghyuck calls out to you as he spots you among a bunch of other students, and you fall behind to briefly talk to him.

“Oh, hi,” you say, not having seen him at all.

“You still didn’t reply to my messages,” he remarks and you immediately pull out your phone, indeed finding that you’ve left him on read two days ago.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you apologize as you remember that you clearly had the intent to respond to him, but then very obviously failed to do so. “Ah, if we can meet… today?” 

“Yesterday,” he corrects you. “But I guess that didn’t happen…” You can unmistakably see the disappointment in his expression, even though he’s doing his utmost to hide it, and you furrow your brows at the sight in front of you. 

“I’m sorry… I must’ve forgotten to reply while studying or something,” you say, unable to look him in the face. “You know, finals coming up.”

“Yeah… I’m studying a lot too these days,” he says, quickly adding, “But I guess as a senior it’s only natural that you’re even busier than I am.” His words sting for some reason, but it’s not like he’s wrong. Truth be told, you’ve been studying every free minute for the past few days, and in between you had a job interview that you don’t have the best of gut feelings about. You were so busy that you barely manage to have three meals a day, and yet you feel guilty about not being able to make time for him.

“I’m really sorry, Hyuck…” you say and he mutters an “it’s okay” as an answer. “But it’s not, is it?” To that he merely glances to the side, showing a sorry smile. And right then you have an idea. “You know what?” As you reach out to take his hand into yours, he raises his eyebrows at you, taken by surprise by your sudden action. “Let’s set a date right now. Then we don’t have to worry about me forgetting to reply or something.” 

“But… that won’t change the fact that you’re super busy…” he reasons, but you cut him off.

“It’s fine, I should be able to spare at least a few hours,” you say, opening your calendar app on your phone and scrolling through the days until exam week starts. “How about next Friday? Friday night sounds like a good time for a little study break and having a celebration instead.”

“S-sure.” You barely notice how he’s atypically dumbfounded at your enthusiasm, only focusing on the fact that you finally found a date to see each other again.

“Great! My place or yours?” you ask, already typing it into your phone.

“Mine… you wanna bring the drinks? Then I’ll take care of the food,” he offers, now taking his phone out as well, probably to put the meet up into his calendar as well.

“Sounds good,” you say in a rush. “Then I’ll see you Friday! Sorry, but… I really have to go now. I was gonna study some more at the library - you coming too?”

“Ah, no, I… have class in half an hour,” he explains briefly, and as you wave your goodbyes and you’re already running off, you fail to notice how his shoulders are suddenly slouched over and there’s a hint of disappointment in the way he looks at you as you’re walking away.

You sigh as you stare at the email you just received, and you immediately regret even checking your mailbox in the middle of studying in the first place. You got rejected for the last job you applied to - but at least you should be thankful that they let you know about it in the first place, right? After all, the last two companies didn’t even do that much after your interview with them. You gulp, trying to swallow all the disappointment bubbling up inside and attempting to shove it back down to where it came from, and then eventually you cross your arms on the table, resting your head on top and you close your eyes for a while. Another sigh escapes you, and you feel the weight of your responsibilities lay heavily on your shoulders. You’re trying not to beat yourself up over not having found a job for after your graduation yet - you know that everyone’s struggling with finding employment these days. But you really don’t want to take on a job you’re overqualified for, or one that’s not in your field of studies at all. You’ve already made too many compromises because of this, like being willing to move to another city for your job, or expanding on what type of positions you’re applying to. And still, nothing. It’s starting to get to you, even though you hate that it is, and even though you had told yourself to focus on your exams and your dissertation first and foremost. But all of these things stacked on top of each other have led you to lose your spark a bit, and there’s no denying you’re starting to feel burnt out. 

You tell yourself it’s fine, it will pass and eventually your life will get less stressful again. But for now you can feel that you’re at your limit, and you could really use some comfort.

“Right,” you mutter to yourself, lifting your head and looking at the date displayed in the bottom corner of your laptop screen. “Only a few hours to go. Then I can see him.” It’s Friday afternoon, and so you take a deep breath and bring yourself to study some more, before you can finally go to Donghyuck’s place, spending a full evening not having to think about any of this. Burying your head in your books and your lecture notes, you end up not realizing how fast the time is passing, and next time you check the clock, it’s already past 7. 

“Oh god…” you quickly pick up your phone, seeing that your friend already sent you a message asking where you are. You were scheduled to be at his place at 7, but somehow you completely lost track of time.

“I’m so sory I didn’t realize hwo late is is. Ill hurry!!” You type up that message as quickly as possible, ignoring the typos as you send it, and then you jump out of your seat to get ready. 

It’s almost 8pm when he opens the door for you and you apologize first thing as you hand him the tote bag with the alcohol you had promised to bring.

“Ah, but you thought of the important stuff,” he says with a forced smile, trying to brighten the mood a bit before he invites you in and you kick off your shoes and take off your coat to follow him inside.

“I’m really really sorry,” you say once again when you’ve made yourself comfortable on his couch. “I was studying and suddenly it was already this late…”

“It’s okay,” Donghyuck says as he carries over two glasses from the kitchen, handing you one of them. “We’re both busy, it’s not like I don’t understand.”

“But you’re upset.”

“A little,” he admits without looking you in the eyes, and when he continues talking, he does his best to sound cheerful. “But let’s not let that ruin the entire evening. We were both looking forward to today, right?”

“Yeah,” you say. “You won’t believe how glad I am to finally be here,” you add, and you feel the way your body relaxes just by being near him. You earn yourself a bright smile for that comment, before he lifts up the glass in his hand.

“I found the recipe for this a few days ago and wanted to try it,” he says. “I thought it’s your style.” You find a few ice cubes swimming in the beverage he handed you, along with a slice of lemon. The color is a dark shade of yellow at the bottom, and completely transparent at the top, and you nod at the presentation.

“It looks good,” you say. “I’ll try it. Cheers!” Each taking a sip, you agree that you like the taste, and the guy sitting next to you on his sofa explains,

“The recipe says you should put a bit of mint in as well, but… I didn’t have any.”

“I think it’s good the way it is… but, I’m starving. Let’s order food?”

“Me too,” he answers, getting out his phone. 

You order takeout, and while you eat and drink, you watch a movie that you’ve both been wanting to see for some time. You end up chatting here and there during less interesting scenes, and even though you enjoy the movie overall, you enjoy talking to him more. Eventually, as your eyelids begin to feel heavy, you rest your head on his shoulder and he lets you, and you don’t think anything of the peaceful smile he gives you upon feeling you so close to him. He puts one of his hands on top of your thigh, mindlessly rubbing his palm up and down, and by the end of the movie you can’t deny anymore that his actions are affecting you. Credits still rolling, you turn your head to face him, and wordlessly you kiss him, his lips melting against yours. You part for a mere second in which you put your hand behind his neck, and as you let yourself fall against the backrest of his sofa, he hovers above you, distance closing again. 

“Hyuck…” you breathe his name when you part the next time. “Need you…”

“Let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he mutters into a sweet kiss, and then he gets up, taking you by your hands to pull you up along with him. As soon as you step into the bedroom you pull him in for another kiss, and you stumble backwards as he steers you towards his bed. He barely lets you lie down when he’s already on top of you, kissing you more deeply. Tongue running across your lip to ask for permission to enter, you allow it without hesitation, and you moan at the way he kisses you slowly but passionately. 

“I’ll take care of you,” he says after parting, “just lean back, okay?”

“Okay…” you answer and he lets his fingertips wander down your clothed body. Undoing the button of your jeans, he unhurriedly slips his hand inside them, and he watches you intently as his fingertips brush against your soaked panties, his voice sultry as he teases you, “So wet already… I didn’t know you were that desperate for me…” Before letting you answer, he leans in to place a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth, starting to rub up and down between your folds slowly.

“I thought I’d go crazy without this…” you confess, arms wrapped around him and one hand up in his hair. You play with his locks as he teases you, and you whine, “More, please… don’t make me wait even longer…”

“What do you want, baby?” he asks, and then he buries his face in your neck, leaving kisses there as you throw your head back.

“Anything… even if it’s just your fingers, please just get me off…” you beg, only now realizing just how desperate you really are. Donghyuck gulps at your words, and he kisses his way up to your jaw and along it, until his lips are hovering right above yours.

“Tell me how badly you need me…” he mutters, pushing the fabric of your underwear aside so he could touch you directly. “I wanna hear everything.” As he starts rubbing small circles on your clit his lips go back to tending to your neck, kissing and nipping on the sensitive skin and making it that much more difficult for you to form coherent sentences. Still you can’t but do as told.

“So bad… need you so bad,” you mewl. “I tried to get off so many times, but nothing feels as good as when you touch me…” He hums at your words, granting you a finger dipping inside your pussy for just a moment in return and gasping at just how wet you are.

“I’ll make up for it,” he says. “I’ll make you cum so good.” You whimper, and then you instinctively buck your hips as his finger ghosts above your entrance. You hear him curse through gritted teeth at how needy you’re becoming, and blood rushes to your head from the thought alone that your state could turn him on so much as well.

“Please… just give me your fingers…” you whine, and to your surprise Donghyuck doesn’t drag out his teasing for longer. And so you cry out when he pushes inside, pumping in and out of you while watching your every reaction to his touch. “Fuck…” you hiss, already seeing your high approaching from far away. “I’m not gonna last long…”

“It’s okay,” he coos over you. “Wanna feel you cum around my fingers… can you take another one?”

“Y-yes… yes please…” you say mindlessly, only being able to think about how you want to feel him more. The stretch is bearable when he pushes into you with three fingers, and when he presses his thumb against your bundle of nerves, fingering you skillfully, you think you’re about to lose your mind. “Fuck… yes… don’t stop, please…” you mewl as he slowly picks up speed until he can see the bliss on your facial features. At this point all you can do is moan his name and dig your nails into his shoulder blades as you cling to him, bucking your hips in chase of your orgasm. 

“Shit, you’re so pretty…” you hear him mutter under his breath as he marvels at the sight in front of him, and next thing you know your whole body is shaken by the force of your high. You whine as he fucks you through it, right until your last aftershocks, and then you simply close your eyes as you lay back on his bed, feeling the exhaustion from the past weeks taking over you. Licking his fingers clean after pulling out of you, he then captures your chin between his thumb and index finger to make you look at him.

“What do you want me to do next?” he asks, his words sounding maybe even sweeter than usual to your ears, and you blame it on the way your mind is still in a haze from your orgasm. You think about it for a short while, and in the end you simply snuggle up to him closely.

“Let’s just… stay like this for a while,” you answer. “If that’s okay with you… I think I just need to be close to you.”

“Sure…” Donghyuck mutters, a bit taken aback by your response that must’ve come very unexpectedly to him. However, he doesn’t hesitate to put an arm around your frame, making you feel safe in a warm embrace. “That good?” he asks, and when you nod he presses his lips against your forehead, lingering there for a while.

You don’t move, not knowing how much time is passing while you’re merely listening to the other’s breathing and enjoying each other’s warmth. At that moment, you wish you could stay like this forever, but as you close your eyes and begin to relax, all your thoughts from the past weeks about your situation with him catch up to you one by one. Deep inside you know it can’t stay like this. And the longer you’re dragging this out, the more clearly you can see just how unfair this is on him. And so eventually, you don’t see any other plausible course of action to take next than to start talking.

“Thank you… for being by my side,” you mutter. Your hand having found its way into his, you’re playing with his fingers, eyes focused on that. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you lately… really.”

“Of course!” he responds, moving back a bit to get a proper look at your face. “You know I’d do anything for you.” You chuckle at his exaggerated words, letting go of his hand and ruffling his hair instead.

“I’m glad to have met you again,” you continue. “But… I’ve been thinking, you know? And I don’t think we can go on like this.”

“What…?”

“Just… I’m only gonna get busier, you know…?” The exact moment that he sits up, his comforting touch being torn away from you as he stares at you with disbelief on his face, you inevitably begin to feel like you fucked up. But you started this now, and there’s no way you could dig yourself back out of this mess, so you decide it’d be for the best to just see it through and be honest with him. “You know that I could never pay you back all that you’ve done for me… Hyuck.” You call out his name, but he barely even reacts with nothing but a blank expression in his eyes. You could’ve sworn you’ve never seen him this pale. “I’m gonna graduate, Hyuck. You’ll still be a student when I start working. Hell, I might have to move somewhere completely different if I don’t find a job in this city soon. And once I do find employment, I’m gonna have to work my ass off to prove my worth. I won’t have time to fool around like this anymore…”

“Fool… around…?” he repeats, speaking slowly, as his expression suddenly reflects a hundred complicated feelings. “Fool around… was all this is to you?”

“I mean… we’re friends too, obviously-”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, and the way he says your name stabs you like a knife. “I have feelings too, you know. You can’t just…” A bitter laugh escapes him. “You’re going to tell me that it’s better if we didn’t see each other anymore, aren’t you?”

“No!” you immediately refute. “I mean-... look, we can stay friends, but I don’t know how much we’ll actually be able to see each other-”

“Friends?” he repeats in utter disbelief. “You don’t realize it, do you?”

“Realize what-”

“I’m in love with you, Y/N. I love you.”

“What…?” That is all you manage to reply to his confession. You really did never notice it, and so this comes as a shock to you. You realize that maybe him saying he’d do anything for you wasn’t an exaggeration at all, but you didn’t think he’d keep this fuckbuddy thing up if he had feelings for you all along. As if he had read your mind, he says,

“I’m sorry… I-... I didn’t want to tell you like this…” he speaks, his head hanging low now. “Not when I know you have a thousand other things to worry about, but… I just couldn’t… you said all these hurtful things. I don’t think you know how much hearing all that just now hurts.”

“I-,” you begin, but you don’t know what to say. You stare at him in utter disbelief for a moment, and then all of a sudden, from one second to the other, you feel like you’re going to suffocate if you don’t get out of here as fast as possible. “I… I can’t do this right now.” You get up off the bed and zip up your jeans. Your head is in chaos and your emotions are all jumbled up, but the one thing you can clearly feel is the anger burning in your veins. You truly are upset that he dropped such a bomb on you just before exams start and you need a clear head more than anything. “I’m going home… sorry,” you mutter under your breath, and without another look back at the guy who can’t do anything but watch as you’re slipping out of his grasp once again, you walk out of the door.

“Good luck for your exams” You let out a sigh as you finally delete the notification of the message Donghyuck sent you four days ago as you’re on your way to uni for your last exam. It’s Friday noon and you can’t wait for all of this to be over, the beginning of winter break feeling like you’re finally about to reach the safe shore after you’ve been almost drowning for weeks. 

You didn’t talk to Donghyuck for the entirety of the week - of course, or you would’ve long answered his message that he sent you on Monday. But you couldn’t bring yourself to, you didn’t even dare open the chatroom. Instead, you had focused on the necessities to get you through this week: sleep, eat, revise everything you studied, be on time for your exams, rinse and repeat. And now that it’s already the last day of this nightmare, you can’t wait to simply crash into bed once you arrive home tonight. 

It’s true that you’ve been feeling the relief after every single exam you finished, like some of the weight was taken off your shoulder with each time you walk out of a lecture hall. And yet you still feel the tiredness in your bones, but there’s something else tugging at your limbs and trying to make you stop running from one task to the other. However, you don’t let it. Too big is the fear of what you might find if you do stop and have a look, so you force all thoughts out of your mind that have nothing to do with your exams. And today as well your mind is empty when you take your seat and you’re handed the paper you’re supposed to fill out during the next one and a half hours, trusting your memory and your ability to recall the correct answers you have studied to each question.

As you’re leaving the lecture hall, finally done with the last one of your exams, somebody calls out to you. You turn your head to find one of your friends catching up with you, greeting you with a lively expression on her face.

“We’re finally done,” she says. “Now we only need to wait for our final paper to be graded and then we’re free!”

“Yeah,” you respond, trying to sound cheerful but inevitably failing. You’re just tired at this point, and no matter how relieved you are that exams are over, you can’t bring yourself to be happy.

“What’s with you?” your friend asks, concern in her voice. “Do you have to redo one of your exams?”

“No, no, it’s nothing,” you assure her, but she doesn’t buy it. 

“There’s something up with you. Did studying take that much out of you?”

“I guess,” you reply as you walk down the hallway with her, but then you hesitate. “Actually… nevermind.”

“Hm? Y/N, what is it? You’re being really weird.” She steps in front of you, making you halt on the spot, but eventually she keeps walking. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t pressure you to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“...it’s about a friend,” you admit finally.

“A friend?” she repeats. “Did something happen to them?”

“No, just… we just haven’t seen each other much lately, and… yeah.” You lower your head and she steps closer.

“That must be a very good friend if you miss them so much,” she states, matter of factly, and that’s when you feel a stab right to your heart, putting you in physical pain.

“Right…” you mutter. Without you realizing, Donghyuck’s presence has painted your ordinary days in a color of hope, wrapping you in a feeling of safety whenever you’re with him and making you become way too comfortable around him. And now that it’s come this far, you don’t know how you’re supposed to scratch off all that paint anymore. The thought alone makes you feel sick to the stomach - you shouldn’t have been such an idiot. You knew where this would lead, and that you wouldn’t have the time to fool around with him anymore once you’ve graduated. A feeling of deep regret overcomes you. 

You shouldn’t have said yes when he suggested leaving your class reunion together.

When you get home that day, you finally let yourself feel the full consequences of the past weeks filled with stress and you crash into your bed immediately. You haven’t planned to go to sleep this early, but at some point you simply find yourself drifting off, and the next time you open your eyes it’s Saturday morning. 

Your body aches as you force yourself to get out of bed, and when you open the curtains and the sunlight blinds your eyes, you curse existence itself. You trod over to the bathroom, wash your face, and after finding yourself unable to look at your reflection in the mirror, you return to your little kitchen to get yourself a simple breakfast. Finishing it while scrolling through social media on your phone, you then get yourself back to your bed, plummeting down on it and grabbing one of the books stacked atop your bedside table that you never found the time to finish while uni has kept you occupied. You open it on the page you had left off weeks ago, and after fighting your way through roughly two and a half paragraphs, you give up and you put the book back to where it’s been resting untouched until now. Your mind just won’t let you focus on this now, so you pick your heavy body up off the comfortable sheets and decide to take a shower first of all.

Things continue like this for the next few days. Even though exams are finally over, you just can’t find it in you to rest properly. Neither going out to have fun nor staying at home and having some quality alone time sound appealing to you, and soon enough you figure out why. No matter what you do or where you are, there’s this constant pain in your chest dragging you down, because time and time again you find yourself impulsively wanting to tell Donghyuck about your day, or even just sending him a funny meme you found on instagram. But you can’t. In a way this reminds you of five years ago, when you started spending less and less time together in high school and then eventually broke up with each other. You recall finding yourself in situations like this back when you started college as well, wanting to tell him about something fun or exciting that happened but feeling unable to, because it’s already been months since you had last talked. However, there’s one significant difference between then and now. 

Then, you merely found it a shame that you couldn’t freely text him or talk to him anymore. But you had moved on, finding new friends to talk to about those same things. Now, it’s like someone had torn a chunk of yourself out of your chest, and you’re slowly bleeding out as your nervous system prevents you from doing anything at all, signaling you that there must be a more urgent matter to take care of first. And only once you come to understand that this matter has to do with nothing other than Donghyuck himself, that’s when something finally connects in your mind. Your days have been painted with his colors, but maybe you’re not supposed to get rid of all that paint. Maybe you’re simply supposed to embrace it, because after all those years he’s become someone who’s just right for you. And maybe he’s become someone you can even come to love.

No, he’s already someone you love, you just never realized it.

Without thinking, you open your chatroom with Donghyuck, his last message still unanswered, and you start typing.

“I need to see you.”

“Now.”

You stand on his doorstep, taking a deep breath. Donghyuck had texted you back eventually, offering to meet at his place, so that’s where you are now, nervous to ring the doorbell. It was you who suddenly decided to come see him, so why are you so hesitant?

Another deep breath, exhaled shakily, and you reach out to press the bell button. Maybe 10 seconds later, the door opens, and when Donghyuck mutters a greeting with a distant expression in his eyes, it’s like a slap to your face.

“Come in, I guess,” he says as he’s already turning around, and you do as told. Taking your shoes off, you follow him a few steps inside, and shooting you a cold look, he asks, “What do you need to talk about?”

You’ve never seen him like this. Even when you broke up at the end of high school there wasn’t such a dark expression on his face. At that moment you have no idea how to shake off the guilt anymore, and so all you can do is let the words burst out of you.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry for doing this to you.” He watches you with a look over his shoulder and you let your head hang, hoping he isn’t aware of the way tears are welling up in your eyes. “I can’t imagine how much I must’ve hurt you.” You add those words through gritted teeth, afraid of a sob suddenly making its way past your lips if you’re not careful.

“Then why are you the one crying?” he asks, staying surprisingly calm.

“B-because…” You gulp, and figuring that it’s too late anyway, you lift your chin to look at him and you use the sleeves of your shirt to wipe the tears from your eyes. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to see the person I love suffer.”

“Y/N…” he breathes your name before turning around fully to face you. He steps closer, but still keeps a good distance between you two. “You rejected me only a few days ago…”

“I know.” Your words are merely a whisper now. “Because I was scared… the future seems so overwhelming that I kept thinking I don’t have space for something like this. But… that doesn’t mean… that I didn’t still fall in love with you.” Silence follows, the only sound disrupting it being the soft sigh Donghyuck lets out before he finally closes the distance between you.

“Can I… hold you?” You nod at his question and you let him come closer, until you find yourself safely wrapped into his embrace, his warm breath tickling your neck as he buries his face there. 

“I’m so sorry for how I acted… you must really hate me now…” you mutter, and you’re almost startled when your friend lets out a laugh as he’s holding you.

“Yes, because I always go around hugging my enemies like this,” he says with a tired yet cheeky grin on his lips, and seeing that expression on his face suddenly washes all your worries away.

“Right…”

“It’s okay, Y/N… I know you had a rough time. I shouldn’t have confessed to you so suddenly either,” he apologizes, but you immediately shake your head, vigorously.

“No, don’t say sorry! I… I kind of get it… that it had to get out,” you say. “Especially after I said all those hurtful things to you.” He brings one hand up to your cheek, brushing his knuckles against the skin there and as his eyes scan your facial features you can unmistakably see how much he adores you. It makes your heart soar, and you part your lips as your gaze falls to his mouth.

“Y/N,” he calls out to you. “Does that mean… I can ask you to be my girlfriend now?”

“Sure…” you mumble, the urge to feel his lips on yours clouding your mind. “And when I’m your girlfriend… can you kiss me then?”

“Of course,” he chuckles, and he takes a tiny step away from you so he could take your hands into his, intertwining your fingers. “Y/N, would you be my girlfriend?” You can’t suppress the smile that creeps onto your face as you listen to his question, and you nod.

“Yes, please,” you answer. “Let me be your girlfriend.” And then he kisses you, slowly and carefully, and this time you aren’t confused on what those feelings he’s pouring into this kiss are. This time you know that it’s all the love he has for you, and you let it wrap you into a veil of warmth and comfort, feeling safe with him.

“I love you,” you mutter in between kisses, and eventually your hands find their way up into his hair. You kiss him back as you comb through it, and when you hear him whisper those same words back at you in between kisses, you once again can’t control the smile on your lips. You part to look at each other, finding an unmistakable desire for more behind his gaze, and so you begin moving as you connect your lips to his again.

"I'm sorry..." you mutter in between kisses, as you're steering him towards the bedroom, and he lets out a sigh against your lips in response. "I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to," Donghyuck mutters with his hands on your waist, and you reach the bed, positioning yourselves so you could have him sit with one swift push against his chest. Crawling on top of him as he merely looks up at you, eyes half-lidded and lips slightly parted while he awaits your next kiss, he's already completely drunk on you.

"Then see it as me taking care of you?" you whisper, reconnecting your lips to his. Your arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and him having his hands securely placed on your sides for stability, you merely keep kissing like that. Unhurriedly, because now you both know there's nothing rushing you anymore, nothing that would tear you apart.

"I love you." He mutters those words as you part, and when you open your eyes you can see him already nervously peeking up at you. You can't help but smile endearingly, cupping his cheek with one hand before you lean in for another sweet kiss to his reddened lips.

"I love you too, Hyuck," you say just when you pull back, and you let your fingertips wander down his upper body. Watching his face closely for his reactions, you pull his shirt off him, tossing it to the floor, and then you add, "Lie down for me, baby. I'll make you feel good." It comes as a surprise even to you to see him obey so quickly, and you let your palm glide down the bare skin on his chest and abdomen as he lies back. And then, when you reach for his wrists to pin them against the bed right next to his head, you can see a slight but still apparent blush creeping onto his cheeks, and he lets out a sound that's somewhere between a groan and a quiet whine.

"Fuck, you make me go crazy," you mutter as you press another kiss to his puffy lips, and when you sink your teeth into his bottom lip he moans into your mouth, the act alone sending heatwaves through your body. You instinctively roll your hips on top of his, earning yourself another small mewl from him, and then you trail kisses from the corner of his mouth to his throat. He leans his head back to give you better access, brows furrowed as he sighs in contentment. Forming his hands into fists, he digs his nails into his palms and whines some more as you continue grinding down on him, and the way you feel him grow underneath you turns you on as well. And then eventually you let go of his wrists to work your way down, peppering kisses all over his chest as he immediately throws his arms around your body, holding onto you tightly. 

"Hyuck..." you call out his name as you sit up briefly, and then you continue trailing nips and kisses down his body. "Let me hear you." He curses as your hand ghosts above his core, watching you with an expectant gaze in his eyes. You pull down the sweatpants he's wearing, and then his underwear, both just enough so his hard length is exposed. You wrap your fingers around him, and you kneel above him now, one of his thighs positioned between your legs, so you could get a good look at his face as you start to slowly jerk him off. 

"Look at me," you demand, and he does, the blush returning to his cheeks.

"Faster..." he mutters, barely audible, and you teasingly ask him to repeat himself. "Faster, please..." he begs through gritted teeth, and when you tighten your grip on his shaft just a little bit, he responds with a moan. "Can't take it..."

"Are you gonna let me hear more of those pretty moans?" you question, lips quivering in anticipation.

"Y-yes..." You don't know if your mind is tricking you or if his blush is growing just a bit darker as he answers, but either way you begin to move your hand faster, having him whining underneath you as he throws his head back. You watch with your lips slightly parted, and it's not like you've never seen him like this before, but there's just something about the way he gives himself up to pleasure when you have him in this kind of position that always gets you going. You move your hips in tune with the speed at which you get him off, grinding your clothed core down on his thigh, and he pushes his leg up just a bit to give you more friction.

"Shit..." you hiss, pleasure clouding your mind, and Donghyuck reaches down to wrap his fingers around your hand, guiding you into a faster pace. You collect the precum leaking his tip and use it as lube to glide down his length more smoothly, and as you can see on his face that he's about to lose himself to the sensation, you mutter a warning, "Don't cum yet."

"But-" he whines, and you take your hand away just before he can reach his high. "Y/N..." he desperately whines your name and you lean in to press a soothing kiss somewhere onto his chest, and then another one against his cheek.

"I wanna have you cumming inside me," you whisper, and when you sit back up you quickly rid yourself of all your clothes, in the end helping him out of his pants as well. You crawl on top of him, your hands placed on his shoulders for support, and you let out a curse as you roll your hips against him, his tip rubbing against your folds. And once again he whines, pressing his eyes tightly shut and digging his nails into your hips. 

"Just fuck me already..." he breathes, but you have other plans.

"Be good and I will, baby," you coo as you repeat your motion without letting him slip inside you. He begins to squirm underneath you, visibly fighting to suppress his orgasm, and you swear you could cum from the sight alone. "Fuck... you're so fucking hot like that, Hyuck..." you mutter through gritted teeth, his repeated whines sounding like music to your ears.

"C-can't... hold back..." And once again you stop the stimulation just as he's about to cum, and with a frustrated groan he throws his head back into the mattress, dragging his nails down your skin. You reach for his hands, and as you intertwine your fingers you pin them above his head, and you can't but coo over the desperate look he gives you, and the way his cheeks are reddening again.

"You gonna cum right when I take you in, aren't you?" you ask, smirking at him after pressing a kiss to his forehead. "So desperate for my pussy..." And he can't do anything but whine at your words, because you both know you're right, and him denying it would just make him look stupid. "Then cum for me, baby," you mutter against his lips as you seal them with yours, running your tongue along his mouth to deepen the kiss. You sink down on him, taking in his size with ease, and the second you start rolling your hips he releases inside you as he moans into your mouth. Heat rushes through your veins when you part and you sit up, letting go of his wrists and combing the fingers of one hand through his disheveled hair instead. 

"Didn't think you really would cum the instant you're inside me," you mock him, earning yourself another whine from him. "And I bet you're also gonna be hard again in no time if I keep this up," you mumble, rolling your hips on top of him slowly. "Such a sucker for when I'm in control, huh?"

"Yeah..." he breathes out, and you unexpectedly feel your heart swell at his answer. Usually he'd be fighting back by now, trying to battle you for dominance or at least being bratty, but today you really just have him at your mercy unconditionally.

"Is it because I finally said that I love you?" you conclude, as if he had heard your thought process.

"Huh?" You run your fingers through his hair again, and then you lean in for another deep kiss.

"Do you like it that much when I play with you like this, or are you being good because you're scared I'll leave if you're not perfect for me?" Donghyuck stares at you for a while as you sit back up, the blush on his cheeks fading, and when he finally reaches out to you to press your body against his for a tight embrace, he answers,

"No, I trust you. And I kinda like it when you sometimes use me." A storm of emotions washing over you, you bring some distance between you and him slowly, and after mustering his genuine expression for a while, you reach for his hands once again.

"Don't touch me," you order as you put them back into their place above his head. "And don't cum until I tell you to. If you wanna be my little toy you gotta be good, alright?"

"Alright." He gulps, taking you in as you're sitting on top of him, starting to ride him with one hand sliding down your body, fingertips reaching your core to give yourself some extra stimulation. Eyes dripping with honey, he keeps his hands in place, and the more you can feel him growing inside you, the more you can also see him struggling to keep his composure.

"Fuck, you're so sexy," he mutters eventually, and you hum a praise to signal him to keep going. "Feels so good... wanna be good for you..."

"That's right..." you mutter, your eyelids fluttering shut as you bounce on top of him, rubbing circles onto your clit. You position yourself so that everytime you sink down on him his tip would graze that perfect spot inside you, and along with listening to his words and the way his voice starts shaking from the pleasure has you seeing stars soon enough.

"U-use me, please... wanna feel you cum on my cock..." he sputters, and you moan at his pleas.

"Doing so well for me, baby... shit, nobody could ever make me feel as good as you..." He whines desperately as you keep your pace slow, in hopes of bringing him as close as possible to the edge as you're racing towards your own high. "Hyuck..." you mutter his name, your voice trembling. "Cum with me." Another moan falling from his lips and you feel yourself shaken by your orgasm, clenching around him as he spills inside you a second time. 

"Shit..." With a curse you collapse on top of him, finding him wrapping his arms around you in a comforting motion, and you add, "You were amazing." He nuzzles his face into the side of your head, lips brushing against your temple, and once you've caught your breath a bit you give him a proper kiss. "I'm sorry... for trying to push you away like th-" Donghyuck puts his index finger across your lips, shutting you up in the process, and with a soft smile he shakes his head.

"Stop apologizing," he says. "It's okay now. Let's focus on the future, and how we can build it together." His hand cupping your face and his thumb brushing against your cheek make your heart skip a beat, and you simply nod.

"You're right," you respond, and you lie back down on top of him, nestling into his chest. "If we just have each other, we can make it through anything."

#nct smut #haechan smut #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #nct oneshot #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #haechan x reader #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 scenarios #nct fic #haechan fic #nct oneshots #haechan oneshot #nct fluff #haechan fluff #nct 127 fluff #nct dream fluff #smut #oneshot

[retrievablememories]

cherry bomb | part 2 | jungkook (m)

pairing: jungkook x fem reader

summary: after your town goes into lockdown because of the cherry bomb massacre, you find out that the murderer's interest is on you. eventually, you’re left with no choice but to face him.

genre: horror/slasher, angst, smut, college!au

word count: 13.7k

warnings: major character deaths, gaslighting, hallucinations, anxiety/paranoia, grief, trauma, violence (including knife and gun use), torture, blood, gore, descriptions of dead bodies, a funeral scene, fuckboy!JK, oral (fem receiving), fingering, finger-sucking, handjob, cumplay(?), hair-pulling

a/n: this part is quite rougher than the first, so heed the warnings. same notes as the last part—not meant to be entirely realistic since this *is* a slasher. block/filter as needed. i didn’t mention this in part 1 but this fic is not set in present day; more like somewhere in the 2000s? i don’t think this fic would work as well with all this advanced technology/the prevalence of social media now

...also, i had this story all written out and then decided to completely change the plot at the last minute because i figured out a way to write the original plot i had wanted to do from the beginning. 💀 yeah…just leave your thoughts below

taglist is at the very bottom of the fic—for some reason i wasn't able to tag everyone who requested, so please reblog this fic so folks can see it

sources for the fic dividers: one | two

link to part 1

you’re standing in front of some stranger’s house in the early hours of the morning, your body heavy from exhaustion as your adrenaline has run out. this is not at all how you expected your night to end when you left your dorm hours ago. it must’ve taken at least 40 minutes to get to this house, and you’re less familiar with this part of town, which you try not to feel uneasy about. you suppose the farther away from the scene of the carnage, the better.

jungkook bangs on the door, calling out the name yoongi-hyung until the porch light comes on. though it’s illogical, you’re tense with apprehension that the murderer could somehow appear at any moment, and you hope whoever yoongi is lets the both of you in soon. so much for no longer looking over your shoulder.

a man with hair just as long as jungkook’s answers the door, looking disheveled and annoyed. “why the fuck are you banging down my door at nearly 2 am—"

yoongi stops speaking as he eyes the both of you up and down, his gaze going from the bite mark bruises you left on jungkook’s neck to the dried blood on your face to the bullet holes in jungkook’s car. his expression is between surprise and curiosity. “what the fuck is going on here?”

“can we talk inside?” jungkook says, though he doesn’t wait for an invitation before pushing his way past the other man and stepping inside.

“uh…hi. sorry.” you step inside too, glad to not be out in the open anymore.

yoongi takes another look outside the door at the state of jungkook’s car before closing and locking it. “mind explaining this shit? i thought you were going to that party you told me about?

“i did,” jungkook says, his voice full of frustration. “the fucking killer showed up at the party.”

“the fuck are you talking about?”

“you know what i’m talking about. that werewolf-masked freak? he came and just started stabbing people to death. we watched him shoot a fraternity member in front of us, dude. that’s why my car looks the way it does.”

“the campus is probably dangerous,” you add. “that’s why we came here. we just need somewhere safe to stay for the night.”

yoongi goes to the window and draws back the curtain. he peeks out the small holes in the side of the blinds rather than pushing the blinds down to look outside. “and you’re certain he didn’t follow you here? i thought he only killed virgins anyway. why the hell was he shooting at you?” then yoongi turns away from the window and looks at you. “oh. is this why?”

feeling put on the spot, you blurt out: “look, i don’t think that matters much anymore. he seemed to be killing anybody who was in his way.”

“and he was on foot the whole time, so there’s no way he could’ve followed us,” jungkook adds.

yoongi shakes his head and walks away from the window. “whole town is fucked, then. come on.”

you’re relieved to be able to scrub the blood off your face and change into fresh clothes. you initially thought it was peculiar that yoongi had spare clothes ready for you to wear until he alluded to keeping them on hand for any of jungkook’s hookups that he brings over.

“sure—of course.” you’d just nodded and tried not to look embarrassed as you accepted the clothes.

even after showering you don’t feel entirely clean, though. you think it might be impossible to return to feeling anything like your former self after tonight.

the couch has a pull-out bed, so it’s not as uncomfortable as it would be just sleeping on a regular sofa, which you are grateful for. you’re still arranging the pillow and blankets when jungkook walks into the room holding his own bedding.

“i think i should sleep here,” he says.

“there’s no room on the couch for the both of us,” you protest, thinking he means to take your spot.

“i mean on the floor. earlier, you didn’t seem like you wanted to be left alone in here.”

“oh.” you try to take the edge out of your voice; it’s hard to be polite when you’re still so overwhelmed with stress. “that’ll be uncomfortable though.”

jungkook just waves his hand and dumps his pillow and blanket on the floor before going to push the coffee table out of the way. “doesn’t really matter, i think we’ve been through worse tonight than sleeping on a hard floor…”

“thanks,” you say quietly, watching him spread his blanket out on the ground. you want to say something else, but you can’t think of anything.

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

after a few more moments of staring at jungkook as he arranges his sleeping area, you finally ask, “i was wondering how’d you meet yoongi? he doesn’t seem like he’s a college student. i’ve never seen him around our campus, at least.”

“he isn’t. he works as a music producer, so he’s out of town a lot, but this is his homebase. as for how we met—it’s a long story. he and my brother actually used to know each other, so…” you think he’ll explain further, but he just shakes his head. “but he’s a good friend.”

“i see. a music producer…nice. how cool for a little town like this.”

after everything is to his liking, jungkook gets under the blanket. “tonight was a lot, so try to get some sleep.”

you nod and turn the lamp off, though you’re doubting you’ll get any peace tonight. “yeah…you too.”

--

SATURDAY MORNING, NOV 4

you wake up around 11 a.m. on a strange couch wearing strange clothes in a strange room. with your brain’s half-conscious state, your terror reawakens; you think maybe you’ve been kidnapped by the murderer and the car ride with jungkook last night was a dream—until yoongi pops into your mind.

you try to regulate your breathing and settle back beneath the blanket, though you know you won’t be going back to sleep.

you haven’t gotten more than an hour of sleep in total, broken up into 20-minute intervals across the hours. every time you’ve tried to close your eyes and drift off, you see the frat member’s skull bursting apart again, shocking your entire nervous system. you can think of nothing but the piles of bodies and the deaths you witnessed. perhaps it’s better that you don’t sleep; you figure your dreams wouldn’t be any more tolerable than your thoughts.

as you shift around on the couch, your whole body screams with soreness. your arms, your ribs, your sides, your legs, and—to a lesser extent—even between your thighs where jungkook was last night.

you glance over and see that he’s still sprawled on the floor, blanket halfway kicked off. he’s actually awake, his face turned away from you as he blinks slowly and stares at nothing, but he doesn’t say anything and so neither do you. with you spending most of your night awake, you saw that he was able to get more rest than you did. lucky him.

it hurts to move, but you reach for your phone and check for any signs of lorelai. none. there is one text from camille, sent 40 minutes ago.

➤ camille: I talked to Lorelai’s sister. She went to go see about a missing persons report. The police took her information but didn’t seem very concerned about it and said she might have just stayed the night with other friends after the party. Apparently a lot of others had the same idea as you. Campus is a ghost town. They’re still identifying all the bodies, so no word yet.

➤ y/n: so we just have to sit here and wait to see if she’ll turn up alive or dead? that’s useless.

➤ camille: As per fucking usual with the pigs.

➤ camille: She also told me there’s supposed to be a lockdown or something. It’s on the news.

➤ y/n: a lockdown???

looking around the room, you spot the TV remote sitting on yoongi’s coffee table a few feet away. you try to sit up, but it takes you a couple minutes longer than you anticipate because of the pain. jungkook notices the movement from the corner of his eye and turns to look at you. “what are you doing?”

“tryna get the remote.”

jungkook grabs it and hands it to you, and you turn the TV to one of the local news channels.

➤ camille: They’re telling people not to leave their homes for anything non-essential while they search for him. Not sure how long that’s supposed to last. I guess now they wanna get serious about this fucking killer? Too late for that.

you and jungkook watch as the newscaster gives a rundown of last night’s events; to your small relief, it looks like the killer didn’t try to go to the campus after the murders at the party house. the newscaster goes on to announce that the police are instating a citywide curfew, which they’ll discuss further at a press conference in the afternoon. in the meantime, they advise everyone to only travel in groups, shelter in place if possible, and keep all windows and doors locked.

you laugh humorlessly, and jungkook glances at you again. “in groups? we were all packed into one damn house at the party, and how much did that help?”

➤ y/n: are you sure you’re okay at the uni?

➤ camille: I’m fine. My roommate brought some of her friends into our room so no one’s left alone. Either way, my dad is coming to help me move some of my things out and come back home.

➤ y/n: okay, please just stay safe.

➤ camille: You too.

“what now?” jungkook says once the newscast goes off. “everybody just stays holed up for like a month while they hunt for that guy?”

you roll your eyes. “people won’t stay in their homes for that long. i don’t know how any of this is gonna work. we wouldn’t be in this mess now if they’d cared when this first started happening.”

“you think so? students would still be getting killed. the only difference is that a good chunk of people would just be sitting at home freaking the fuck out and too scared to go anywhere while the killer would still be on the loose.”

“…damn. it’s truly bleak to assume we’d still be in the same situation. you’re an optimistic one.”

“better than deluding yourself about it.”

“whatever. where’s your family to freak out over you? somebody should be concerned about your whereabouts by now. didn’t you say you have a brother? speaking of, i’m gonna have to call my sister soon…”

jungkook turns back to the TV, and you can tell he’s become more tense than he was seconds ago. “yeah, but i’m estranged from them. yoongi’s my family.”

wrong thing to ask. you wonder about the reason for it but decide it’s probably better not to pry. “ah…that sucks.”

jungkook looks back at you like he’s irked by that response, but he makes a noise resembling a chuckle. “tell me about it.”

later that afternoon, after you’ve reassured your sister veronica on her work break that you are fine and at a “friend’s” house (because you have no clue how to refer to either of these men), you and yoongi sit at the kitchen table with brunch while jungkook goes outside to examine the damage to his car more closely.

it’s difficult to eat, but you do so anyway; you don’t want to be rude by wasting the food yoongi made. the news station still plays loudly from the living room as you wait for the press conference to come on.

“so, about you and jungkook...” yoongi starts, looking at you from over the rim of his cup of coffee.

“what about me and jungkook?”

“we both know he didn’t get those bites on his neck from a wild animal attack.”

you sit up straighter in your seat, a sudden spike of irritation hitting you. “aren’t we all grown here? who cares?” you try to sound unbothered despite feeling very green about all of this. after all, you’d only had sex for the first time last night.

“look, i don’t care. fuck him all you want. i’m just trying to advise you not to get emotionally involved, because that’s not how jungkook operates. the amount of girls i’ve had somehow coming after my neck when their situationship with him doesn’t work out is starting to get really old. it’d be best if you didn’t do the same.”

you’re simultaneously annoyed at his assumption of you and flustered because you want to prove him wrong about acting the same as the other girls. you hate both feelings. “i don’t want anything like that with him. i just needed something done and i got it. it doesn’t matter anymore.”

yoongi shrugs, and you get the sense he’s heard that before and isn’t convinced, but you can’t be bothered going back and forth with him about this.

the press conference comes on TV a few minutes later. they announce that classes at your university are cancelled indefinitely; parents and relatives will need to come move their students out, and the school will be operating with a skeleton staff and increased security presence for any students who can’t leave the campus. the citywide curfew will be at 8 p.m. every night, by which time almost everyone will need to be in their homes, and it will end at 6 a.m each morning.

“fun,” you say sarcastically. “at least i won’t have to worry about finals and trying not to get murdered at the same time.”

when jungkook comes back inside, you let him know about what he missed from the press conference.

“we should just stay here for now.” when you raise your eyebrows, jungkook says, “i basically live here when i’m not on campus for classes. plus yoongi-hyung lets me bring girls here all the time, this is nothing new.”

“if both of you are gonna be hiding out in my place, we’ll need to go to the store,” yoongi says. “more mouths to feed.”

“…or i could just go home?” you propose, your mind reeling at them already making plans. you feel awkward about staying in a stranger’s house for who knows how long. “i think we only really needed to stay here for the night. it’s fine.”

“will you have people there with you?” jungkook asks. “it’s not safe to be alone.”

you’re surprised he seems to be this concerned, but you answer: “well, i mean…my sister works 12-hour shifts as a nurse and she’s the only one living there, so…” you’d chosen your university because your older sister lived in the area, and because it was a tradition for women in your family to attend that school, but there were no other relatives you could turn to. your parents lived a couple of towns away.

yoongi comes to the conclusion so you don’t have to. “in other words, you’ll be alone most of the day.”

“…i guess. but i’m really not tryna impose on you by staying here.”

yoongi tilts his head, a small smirk on his lips. you automatically dislike the look on his face. “why don’t you take jungkook with you, then?”

you and jungkook glance at each other. “but, hyung…”

yoongi shakes his head. “you already know i can take care of myself. seriously, don’t worry about it.” and then yoongi winks at you. you don’t know for sure, but you take that to mean he’s probably packing heat like camille’s dad.

“if you’re sure.” turning to you, jungkook says, “so, how about it?”

“it’s my sister’s house, so i’ll have to ask her,” you say tentatively. “yeah…uh. let me do that now, i guess.” you pull out your phone to text her about it, though you know it’ll be a while before she gets another work break and can answer. “in the meantime…i think we’ll need to go to the store either way. and then to campus to pick our things up.”

“you’re right. let’s go then,” jungkook says.

the store is full of people panic-buying food and necessities in preparation for the curfew and effective lockdown, which you expected. you and jungkook end up going your separate ways to find the things you need because it’s quicker that way, and because you want to get in and out of the store as soon as possible. the crowdedness is too much like the party, and despite yourself, anxiety begins rising in you due to the claustrophobic atmosphere. you try to maintain even breaths as you keep searching for items. just what you need—a shiny new trauma to make your life harder.

you pass by a man in one of the less-crowded aisles before realizing he’s standing in front of what you need to get, examining one of the food packages. you wait a few moments to see if he’ll finish up soon, and when your eyes begin to wander, you see that there’s a long gray hair clinging to the back of his leather jacket, standing out clearly against the black. you probably wouldn’t have noticed this at all on any other day, except your mind has been on high alert for hours now; you find it strange that this strand clearly doesn’t match the shade or length of the hair on his head, which is short and plain brown. the shade of the hair also weirdly reminds you of something, though you can’t quite recall what; it remains just out of your mind’s reach.

you shake your head. he could’ve come to the store with somebody who has long gray hair, or hugged them before he left home, and a strand stuck to his jacket. it’s the least of your issues right now.

the man must feel your presence behind him because he turns around to look at you. you’re a little taken aback by his gaze; his expression isn’t mean per se, but very intense, as if his entire focus is trained on you.

there’s a second’s pause, like he’s thinking about something before he speaks. “am i in your way?” he asks, never breaking eye contact. his voice doesn’t portray any particular emotion.

“i just have to get something really quick.” he steps aside and gestures to the rows of food without a word. you slip in beside him and grab what you need before moving away again. “thanks.” you think about telling him about the hair on his jacket but decide against it; your decision is solidified when you spot a wolf figurine keychain on his keys, faded from time but still distinguishable. it makes your breath catch.

there’s no way it could be him. it was kind of dark in the party house with nothing but string lights and lamps illuminating it, and everything happened so quickly…but you do remember the colors of that mask. red, yellow, black—and that dark gray for the fur.

but maybe it’s really all just a coincidence; how much sense would it make to turn every person with wolf paraphernalia and random stray hairs into a suspect?

you walk down the rest of the aisle and away from the man with growing unease. maybe it’s time to find jungkook so you can get out of here; you can hardly keep yourself together, and despite your best attempts at logic, you can’t stop yourself from getting more frantic about those two things.

speeding up your walk and weaving through people, you look down every aisle in search for jungkook before you find him, rushing over to him as you breathe heavily.

“whoa, what the hell is wrong? did somebody do something?”

“no, i…”

“what happened?”

“it’s the…well, the…i saw, uh…”

“y/n.”

“i saw—the mask. the fur from the mask. do you remember it?”

“…you mean that stupid ass werewolf mask?” you gesture for jungkook to lower his voice. “wait, you’re saying you saw it in here?”

“no, i saw a man who had a strand of hair on his jacket…” it starts sounding ridiculous to your own ears the more you speak, but you continue. “the strand—it was the same color as that fur. the same length! and he—he had some weird wolf keychain…”

jungkook stares at you for a long moment before sighing. “you’re not serious? a random strand of hair that could be from anybody or anything? that could be from someone’s fucking grandma for all we know. plus a keychain…maybe he just likes wolves, y/n.”

you already know that saying i just feel like something is off won’t be enough to convince him. you sigh with a deep sense of defeat, considering that he’s probably right. maybe your initial assumption was the more sensible answer. “…right. i think i’m just really fucked up right now after everything that happened. can we finish up here?”

“yeah, we will. because you definitely need to lay down soon or something. you haven’t had any sleep all night, right?” the way jungkook eyes you with concern as if you’ve lost your mind annoys you. you’re about to give a smart remark when you notice something in the carrying-basket he has.

“…a baseball bat?”

“if the killer comes after us again, duh. we’ll be prepared this time. or at least i will.”

“good luck with that if he happens to have another gun.” rolling your eyes, you brush past jungkook to go to one of the checkout counters.

in the parking lot, you see that the man from earlier has also come out and is putting the last of his grocery bags into his car trunk. there’s really nothing spectacular about his appearance that would make him stand out in a crowd, with his average height and average looks, let alone incriminate him as a serial killer. yet that familiar unease won’t leave.

he sees you and jungkook walking towards the car together, and his eyes dart to the bullet holes in jungkook’s car. then he makes eye contact with you. you give a half-hearted wave, unsure what else to do with his eyes stuck on you. for a moment, his lips turn up into the faintest smile before he shakes his head and gets into his own car.

--

MONDAY, NOV 6

you’ve spent half of saturday and all of sunday trying to get used to living in your sister’s house with jungkook. veronica had been surprisingly okay with having him stay over, though most of it was her being relieved you finally found “a potential boyfriend who’s actually cute.” you didn’t have the energy to argue with her.

you’ve also been constantly checking on camille (to her eventual annoyance) and seeing if there are any more updates on lorelai. still nothing. your dread grows the further away you get from that bloody friday, but you try to keep your thoughts from straying too darkly.

right now, you, veronica, and jungkook all sit on the couch together in a neat little row, a bowl of popcorn in front of you on the coffee table and some science-fiction B-movie playing on the TV. your sister proposed the idea to distract yourselves from everything going on, but so far, you feel like it isn’t very effective. at least not for you. your mind keeps wandering to other things every 5 minutes.

eventually, veronica yawns widely, stretching her arms and legs before rising off the couch. “okay, i’m getting tired as fuck. i need to go to sleep for work tomorrow anyway. you guys enjoy the rest of the movie, okay?” she pats your shoulder as she passes by you on her way out of the room.

jungkook waves. “oh, sure. goodnight.”

“night, sis.”

when jungkook’s attention goes back to the movie, your sister makes eye contact with you and points her finger at you menacingly. you give her a shocked look while she mouths you know what i mean and swirls her finger in jungkook’s direction. embarrassed at the implication, you roll your eyes and turn your head back to the TV screen. having sex with jungkook on your sister’s couch is not high on your list of priorities tonight.

after your sister is gone, jungkook spreads out on the couch like it’s his own living room, placing his legs right over your lap. you sigh, looking over at him—and hoping that your eyes don’t linger too obviously on the expanse of thigh muscle that’s now on display from his shorts riding up higher.

“…really? i don’t want your big ole legs in my lap.”

jungkook just grins. “you should lay down too, it’s more comfortable this way.” you stare at him, and he tries to egg you on by pulling the sleeve of your shirt. “come on.”

“i’m not laying down on top of you, if that’s what you’re after.”

you do end up lying down, but on the opposite side of the couch so that your legs are tangled together, which really just increases the amount of contact between you either way—but whatever.

this makes jungkook laugh more. “ha, it’s like we’re scissoring.”

“so damn corny.”

you two continue watching the rest of the movie, but by the end of it you don’t remember half of what happened. taking the remote, you flip through the channels and try to find something else to look at. there isn’t much interesting to watch on a random monday night—which would be a school night anyway, if not for the current context.

as you search for a channel, jungkook asks: “what would you do if you found out who the killer was?”

you squint your eyes at his odd question. maybe the obvious answer would be to alert the police. but after days of having your anger stoked like a fire, that’s not exactly the answer you’d choose. “maybe i’d kill him.” the words leave your lips easily, and you hardly think twice about them once they’re out.

neither of you speak for a few long moments.

“does that scare you?” you ask, after the silence starts annoying you. you want to laugh, but there’s nothing really funny about the situation.

“…not really. angry women are kinda sexy. so are dangerous ones.”

you scoff. “i’m not tryna be sexy, you fool. and how many dangerous women have you dealt with? seems to me you only have a thing for the innocents.”

“it’s not like i only fuck virgins. you don’t even know me like that.” he nudges your leg with his foot like he’s also annoyed, but his expression doesn’t show any actual irritation.

“…if you want to go back and forth about it, go outside and argue with the wall or something. i’m in no mood, jungkook.” you shove his foot off of you. “just, holy shit. i wish i could have just one hour where i don’t have to think about any of this shit. my mind can’t even breathe.”

he’s actually quiet for a couple minutes after. you think he’s moved on from the conversation until he finally says, “i can give you an hour.”

your body becomes alert at that. the insinuation in his tone is obvious. you glance backwards as if your sister could hear you from upstairs, though you know that’s illogical. “i got what i wanted from you already,” you whisper.

“so? what if i wanted to give you more? you know you’re allowed to have sex with a person more than once, yeah?” he chuckles.

here he is making you this offer, and once again you feel like you’ve been reduced to the state of a confused lamb in front of a hungry wolf. you realize that the idea of letting yourself get more physically entangled with jungkook scares you. he is not someone you can turn into a boyfriend, who wants to be a boyfriend, and you are only looking to save yourself from any potential hurt. “it would just be sex—right? you have to know i’m not looking for anything deeper from you.”

jungkook smirks. like with yoongi, you don’t know if he believes you. “i know.”

you want to undo almost everything from the past few days. you can’t forget, but for a while, you want to just exist outside of the timeline where there’s a killer on the loose and one of your friends is missing. it’s too much to handle; your body is approaching its limits for the amount of stress it can take. you need a balm to numb the pain and the fear, and you dislike that you are giving into your base instincts to do so. you feel guilty, somehow. but pleasure is easy. at least it has been whenever you sought it on your own—and now you have someone else to give it to you. someone who is in front of you now, proposing it with all the willingness in the world. maybe there’s really nothing wrong with saying yes.

“jungkook…”

“hm?”

“please just shut the fuck up and don’t say another word about the outside world right now. i don’t want to think about anything but your…” you falter, still trying to get used to expressing what you want sexually.

jungkook sits up, his hands sliding up your legs and to your hips. “but my what?”

“um, your…” your thoughts end when he leans down and pulls the hem of your sweater up, planting a kiss on your waist where your skin meets the waistband of your sweatpants. one kiss turns into a second, and a third. the fourth becomes an open-mouthed embrace of his lips on your skin, and you make a small noise of pleasure when his tongue gets involved.

“careful. don’t want veronica to come down here, remember?”

you huff. “that isn’t happening any time soon, believe me.”

his kisses continue as he begins to slide your sweatpants down, revealing the waistband of your panties. once they’re fully on display, he leans forward to nuzzle his face between your thighs, his mouth and nose pressing into the seat of your underwear. his actions take you off guard. you actually give a brief chuckle from surprise, though you are also somewhat embarrassed. “now what the hell are you doing?”

“let me savor my meal before i eat it.” his warm breaths tickle your inner thighs as he speaks.

“ugh, don’t turn me off.”

“that’s funny, because i seem to have an easy time getting you wet.” to prove it, his fingers press into the seat of your underwear to feel the wetness that’s seeped into them; you sigh from the brief pleasure his fingers’ movements afford you before he pulls them away.

jungkook drags your panties down next, his lips trailing down your lower abdomen and across the curls of hair covering your pubic mound. your body fills with anticipation at the gradual pace of his actions and the purposeful, wet caresses of his mouth.

when he uses his thumbs to press your lower lips apart and expose you more fully to him, you have half a mind to be self-conscious about it until he places his mouth on you in earnest.

jungkook eats like someone who hasn’t done so in a while and doesn’t know when he’ll get to do it again. his mouth sucks at your clit like he’s desperate for you to come, tongue rolling over the swollen nub in an unrelenting pattern that has your stomach tensing, and you quickly realize you do have to try to silence yourself even if you know it won’t wake veronica up. you twist your hands into the sleeves of your sweater and lean your head back on the couch’s armrest as you arch your hips up closer to jungkook’s face, uncaring about how vulnerable you feel completely offering yourself up to him like this; right now, all you want is to feel good.

“gonna come quick again? maybe we can set a new record?” jungkook pins your knee against the couch with his elbow to keep your legs open as he slides two fingers inside, diving straight in instead of working you up this time. your body breaks out in a sweat and you know you really won’t last long once he does this, the tips of his fingers aiming for that dreadful, wonderful, and overpowering place inside you. you don’t know how people do this—you feel like you’re going to die when he stimulates that spot, and all you want to do is scream even though you can’t.

“a r-record? fuck off…” you choke out, though you begin to rock your hips into the rhythm of his fingers, needing so badly for him to take you over the edge again.

he chuckles. “i don’t think you want me to fuck off right now.”

you have no words for a good comeback when he buries his head between your legs and slurps at your pussy again and crooks his fingers repeatedly to where your orgasm is unexpectedly rushing down upon you, causing your body to tense as you gasp and stifle any sounds that escape with your sweater sleeve.

jungkook doesn’t stop there and you don’t really expect him to, because you’re beginning to learn he isn’t a one-and-done type of man. he keeps sucking and stroking you right into another releasewhile you push the beanie off his head, fist your fingers into his strands, and tremble over the sight of his pitch-black mess of hair between your thighs. something about the visual is so appealing to you.

after he has made you come for the third time, you watch him sit up on his knees to reach into his shorts and pull his dick out, his darkened tip slick with precum. his long hair falls into his face as he glances downward, using the hand he’d been fingering you with to lube himself up with your cum.

“come here,” you tell him, your voice coming out sharper than you intended; but he doesn’t care, because he follows your request without a word and presses himself into your side. the couch is just big enough to accommodate both of you in this position, but it’s still a tight fit, and your bodies are once again tangled together.

“let me touch you,” you say, your palm pressed to his stomach, feeling the firmness of the muscle.

he raises his eyebrows, like you didn’t even need to ask. “of course.”

“no, i mean…” he realizes what you actually mean as you brush his hand away from his shaft and wrap your fingers around it instead.

“should i teach you how?” jungkook brings his hand to overlap yours, though his breath becomes a bit strained when you slide your hand to the base of his cock and back to the tip again, the pads of your fingers rubbing over the sensitive head. seeing your fingers around him turns him on more than he thought it could, and it’s just a simple fucking handjob.

you roll your eyes. “stroking a dickshouldn’t be that hard.”

“everyone likes it differently, though. fast, slow, soft, or rough…just the tip, or the whole shaft.” you can’t deny that—or the way you find yourself throbbing at his words, his voice husky from the pleasure. which is why you let jungkook close his hand more fully around yours and guide your movements.

it’s captivating to observe his reactions from your hand on his skin—the heavy breaths he lets out and the soft moans and even softer whimpers that come in between the exhales. whenever you squeeze his shaft more firmly or rub your thumb against his leaking tip, you find yourself grinning at the rise and fall of his chest and the tongue that darts out of his mouth to lick at his lips. but mostly, your eyes are drawn back to the sight of your hand working him over, his thighs and stomach tensing sporadically.

eventually, you both look away from your joined hands and at each other’s faces. your eyes dart to his lips and back to his gaze again, and you shift your face forward to signal your desire for a kiss. he meets you there by pressing his lips to yours, and it isn’t hard for him to get lost in the meeting of your mouths and the heat from your palm on his shaft.

your free hand returns to his soft hair to tug on it as your tongues slide against each other. he grunts at the burn of his roots being pulled but doesn’t stop you; on the contrary, his body responds favorably as more precum swells from his tip and his nipples poke against the material of his shirt.

“do you like that, jungkook?” you mumble against his mouth.

“you know i do.” at some point, his hand falls away and he lets you stroke him on your own.

jungkook gives a shuddering moan into your mouth when he climaxes minutes later, thick streams of his cum shooting onto his shirt and dripping down your hand. he tries to keep quiet and doesn’t entirely succeed, but it doesn’t much matter.

you squeeze the few remaining drops of cum from his cockhead, trying to make sure you don’t grip hard enough to actually hurt him. you pull your sticky hand away from jungkook when you think he’s finally emptied, but he grabs your wrist and you look at him questioningly. you watch with shocked eyes as jungkook brings your hand up and takes your messy fingers into his mouth, sucking his cum from them. you know instinctively it isn’t the first time he’s done this—not with the look of pure satisfaction on his features as he licks his own seed off your fingers.

his enthusiastic pleasure is part of the reason why you accept when jungkook gives you a crushing kiss, passing his cum from his tongue to yours. you don’t know what you expected it to taste like, but it isn’t gross like you’ve heard others complain about when sharing their sex tales; despite being salty, the overall taste is neutral. still, it takes some getting used to.

when you pull away from each other, noses brushing and lips wet from each other’s spit, you look into his dark brown eyes and get the sudden desire to say something that’s been buried in the back of your mind for days now.

“why did you come straight to me that night?” you whisper. “like you already knew who you were there for.”

jungkook stares back, his lips curving up slightly. “i just wanted to. or i wanted you, more specifically.”

“that’s not an answer.”

“well, it’s my answer.”

“was i another one to knock off your list?”

“you think i have a list?”

“i’m not stupid. it’s not unusual for guys to have a list. plus, plenty of rumors go around.”

jungkook taps his fingers underneath your chin and kisses you on the lips again, though it is brief. “stop believing everything you hear.”

you clearly won’t be getting a straight answer from him tonight. with the moment broken, you sigh and begin pulling your bottoms back on. “…whatever you say, dude.” once you’re dressed, you climb over his body to get off the couch. you poke him in the chest as your eyes roam over him in his disheveled state, his shorts pulled down and his cum staining his black shirt. “might wanna clean yourself up, huh? i’m going to sleep. and, yeah…thanks for the distraction.”

--

TUESDAY, NOV 7

with the weather being as cold as it is and heading toward winter in another month or so, lorelai is surprised by how quickly the bodies began to smell.

she doesn’t know much of anything about bodily decomposition—because, to her parents’ disappointment, she wasn’t about to be a biology major and have to be around cadavers in a dissection lab—but if this were a movie or something, she would’ve thought it would take longer than just one day. the smell started to hit her the saturday after the party.

but ultimately, this isn’t a movie, and the fact that she’s trapped in a decrepit house in some remote part of town is her present reality.

she doesn’t remember anything about how she got to this house; she thinks she must have been concussed before she was brought here. her head has been hurting badly for days, and not even the simple relief of a painkiller is available.

what she does know is that she’s being kept in a dirty living room on an equally dirty mattress, her hands and legs tied by rope and zip-ties. if there were any miniscule chance of her escaping, it would be impossible to go anywhere considering both her ankles are broken, only adding to the amount of physical pain she’s been in for days.

the living room is mostly empty except for the bodies of some other students from the party, which have been scattered around the room. lorelai tries not to look at them—especially not at the ones she knows—but it’s difficult. they become even more terrifying to her when night falls, turning into dark, rotting shadows in the corners of the room. there has been nothing but the company of these corpses for days, and a couple of visits from the killer.

he's never once taken off his wolf mask or his gloves, and every other part of his body stays covered in all black. she doesn’t have the first idea of what he looks like underneath it all. he has spoken to her a few times, but the voice isn’t one she recognizes. his words when she first awoke inside this house still knock around in her mind, filling her with dread.

he’d crouched in front of her, watching her move around on the mattress and try to orient herself. he had the casual air of someone observing a flipped-up bug struggle on the sidewalk before crushing it underfoot. “you aren’t y/n, but you’ll do for now. we’ll have some real fun later on. you’ll help me give her a good scare.”

“how the fuck do you know y/n?” lorelai had struggled against her restraints, but this only made her newly broken ankles hurt worse. tears began to fall from her eyes from the pain and fear.

the killer had said nothing to that—only tilted his head curiously and stared at her, which was unnerving even if she couldn’t see his eyes.

“you have no fucking reason to go after her, she’s not even a virgin anymore you dumb fuck—” with those words, the killer had backhanded her, sending her already injured head into a fresh wave of agony.

“things would’ve been different if not for that fucking party. you students think you’re so fucking clever, yeah? and look how you paid for it.” it was impossible to see any facial expression, but his body language spoke of anger. “no matter, though. virgin or not, i’ll see this through to the end.”

now it’s yet another morning, and he has returned. he has a lot of debris in his hands—stuff like sticks and dry moss and foliage. he’s also carrying a small bag, the contents of it a mystery. everything he does causes alarm for lorelai, but now confusion joins in.

“ready to have some fun?” he asks. with duct tape over her mouth, she can’t answer back. she watches as he arranges the debris on the ground in front of her, her anxiety mounting as he takes a lighter out of his pocket and sets fire to the foliage.

leaning forward, he rips part of the duct tape away from her mouth with his gloved hand, causing her face to sting. “got anything to say?”

“wh-what the fuck are you doing?”

“i’m gonna stoke a nice fire here…get this knife hot enough to hurt.” he brings out his knife then, and lorelai shrinks away from the blade as he drags the flat of it across her throat—but there’s nowhere else to go, as she’s sitting up against the wall. “then i’ll just cut this pretty little body up a bit. the finishing touch…i think i’ll slice your throat open. how does that sound?” he takes the knife away from her neck to hold the blade over the flames.

lorelai’s breath hitches, and her stomach begins to physically hurt from the outpouring of anxiety flowing through her. she starts to sob, trying to speak through the tears and snot and drool. the only question she can muster up is, “wh-why?”

“this is for y/n—remember? i hope that concussion hasn’t fucked with your memory.” the killer watches the reflection of the flames on the blade as it grows hotter. “and…i’m doing someone a favor.” he doesn’t wait for her to speak again before putting the duct tape back in place over her mouth, leaving her to cry to herself and face her rising distress as he heats the knife until it’s burning hot. internally, she wishes there was any way in the world to get out of this situation.

it isn’t much longer before he’s finished. lorelai screams as he approaches her with the knife, and then at the feeling of the red-hot blade scorching her skin, though the sounds are stifled by the duct tape.

“now, be still while i fix you up.”

--

WEDNESDAY, NOV 8

you go outside that afternoon to check the mail and have an excuse to get out of the house; it doesn’t matter if it’s only for a few moments. you’re not used to staying cooped up in one place for so long with absolutely nothing to do, and you feel like you’re not too far off from going mad with cabin fever. it hasn’t even been a week since everything happened.

you open the mailbox, and there are the usual bills along with something strange: a blank envelope with no return address. even your sister’s address isn’t written on it. flipping it over, you see that the envelope was never sealed. someone must’ve just come up and put it inside the mailbox. but who the hell would do that, and for what reason? whenever any of your neighbors have something to give you or your sister, they come straight up to the house to do it.

inside the envelope is a set of polaroids. their content makes you drop the rest of the mail. your legs grow weak, and you end up sitting down hard on the end of the driveway, some of the polaroids slipping from your hands. the pictures show the bodies of some of the students from your university, their corpses posed in odd positions and some bare of clothing—all dead.

you struggle to breathe as you frantically flip through the rest of the pictures. in the center of all the group photos is lorelai, her neck torn open and her wrists and ankles tied. she’s still dressed the way she was the night of the party, though her dress is stained with dark brown blood. there are open cuts all over her bare skin, their appearance rough-looking and uneven as if they’ve been cauterized.

there are several group polaroids, several of lorelai alone, and several angles of the outside of a house, which must be the same one the bodies are being kept in. one photo of lorelai slips out of your shaking hands, and you see there’s barely legible handwriting on the back of it, which reads, “this is just the teaser, y/n.”

you scream and don’t stop screaming until jungkook comes running out of the house holding the baseball bat, as if the killer might’ve gotten bold enough to attack in daylight. a couple of your neighbors peek out of their houses and make their way over with concern on their faces once they see you sitting on the ground, your exclamations ringing through the street.

there’s a disarrayed group of people around you grabbing at your shoulders and asking what’s wrong, what happened, and then gasps and exclamations of shock when they see the polaroids. you feel yourself being pulled to your feet and then lifted up—maybe it’s jungkook, because it smells like him—but you’re too disoriented to make proper sense of anything right now. you can only think of how much time has been wasted, and how little time lorelai actually had left.

--

SUNDAY, NOV 12

in the main lobby of the funeral home, you sit in a chair next to camille, staring into empty space while the other girl tries to cry as quietly as she can. she cries as if she’s ashamed of it, and you wish you could comfort her, but you don’t know what to say or do. for the past few days, you’ve mostly just felt numb.

you’re waiting for veronica to come back out so you can leave, as she’d stayed behind after the service to talk to lorelai’s family for a little longer.

lorelai’s family had opted to have her cremated after seeing the state of her body. a lot of other families did the same after the events of cherry bomb, not even wanting to entertain the idea of a closed-casket funeral. you can understand their feelings about it if you push through the haze in your mind to consider it for long enough. though the morticians have done the best they can over the past week, sometimes knowing that your loved one has multiple stab wounds and eviscerated organs beneath all the makeup and fancy clothing is too much to handle.

when veronica finally comes out, the three of you walk outside to join the rest of the people who’ve started getting in their cars. some still linger in small huddles, shaking their heads and wiping their faces.

jungkook, who’d driven you and veronica to the memorial, waits outside for you all, leaning on the side of the building. you both thought it was probably better for him not to attend the service considering lorelai was never fond of him and he didn’t know her that well.

“is it finished?” he asks.

“it is.” veronica sighs. “god, funerals are so damn…bleak.”

you notice a man waving at your group from the other side of the parking lot and realize it’s camille’s dad. her posture straightens when she catches sight of him, and she hurriedly tries to wipe the rest of her tears before shoving her tissue into her pocket. “i-i think my dad is waiting for me. i…i’ll see you guys later, alright?”

“okay, camille.” the strange absence of emotion that you’ve been trapped in for the past few days suddenly cracks open when you notice camille’s anxious demeanor as she speed-walks away from the rest of you. intense sorrow overtakes you; you don’t want her to leave, but she has to go.

you are crying before you fully understand what’s happening. veronica puts her arms around you and squeezes you against the side of her body. jungkook reaches a thumb up to wipe away your tears, though you don’t let him get very far before turning your head away and into veronica’s shoulder.

“y/n…”

“how am i supposed to go on?” you exclaim, catching the attention of a few people nearby. “the police said maybe she’s just staying with friends. and now look. plus, the killer knows where me and my sister live now…maybe he always knew.”

“we don’t even have a clue who the killer is…” jungkook mumbles. “there’s no one you know of who might have a grudge against you?”

“no, jungkook. the police already gave me all that questioning. and it doesn’t help me feel any better to think maybe all these deaths are somehow my fault.” you scoff.

“y/n, nothing’s your fault because some freak decided to go around killing people; that was his decision.” jungkook argues.

you nod slightly to his words but say nothing else, not wanting to go further into that topic. you don’t know if you can believe him about that.

the parking lot is emptying out now, so you try to pull yourself together so the three of you can leave. “well…you don’t need to keep staying with us if you don’t want to. we have those assigned bodyguards now, so…” you glance in the direction of one other car sitting beside jungkook’s—inside it are two men the police force appointed after the polaroids of the bodies were planted in your sister’s mailbox.

jungkook looks at you as if he’s trying to gauge your expression; he himself looks surprised, though he attempts to play it off. veronica glances between you both, recognizing the awkward shift in the air.

“you don’t want me there anymore? i mean it is your house—” he glances at veronica “—so that’s fine with me if—"

“what? i didn’t say i don’t want you there, neither did veronica, it’s just if you don’t want to be there—"

“i never said i didn’t want to be there, though?”

you both become quiet, jungkook looking at you and you returning his gaze for a few seconds before looking off to the side. veronica is still standing between you both like she’d rather be anywhere else on earth.

“i just figured that maybe…” why are you being so concerned about me? isn’t this the part where we go our separate ways? is what you really want to ask. you have seen and learned enough from your friends’ and even your acquaintances’ experiences to realize that any other one night stand would not have cared so much. that’s how these things go, right? but he isn’t really a one night stand anymore, either.

you don’t even know if you’re considered friends with benefits, but what would that change? you’d still seen others tossed aside without much thought by their FWBs while in times of need. considering his history, you don’t understand why jungkook isn’t following the same template now, and you don’t think you should ask why for fear of breaking the illusion.

fed up with your own confusion, you decide now isn’t the time to lament on your lack of knowledge about these things. “nevermind. that’s fine. so you’ll stay?”

the corner of his mouth lifts in a brief smile. “i’ll stay as long as you won’t try to kick me out.”

you aren’t in the mood to attempt to smile back, but he seems to understand that. “right, well...good.”

“…now that you two have figured that shit out, can we leave?”

--

FRIDAY, NOV 17

jungkook thought that getting outside a bit more would help you feel better and prevent you from developing a complete fear of leaving the house, which is why you’re sitting in this claustrophobic little diner now with him, yoongi, and camille—and of course, your ever-present bodyguards in the booth behind you all. but this outing isn’t doing anything to mitigate your fears.

nearly 10 minutes in, you have to ask jungkook to switch seats with you so you’re not on the outside of the booth, as you’re afraid that it’s too easy-access if anyone—say, the killer, though you’ve been trying not to think so obsessively about him—were to come in and start stabbing you to death right where you sit. being on the inside calms you for a little while until you become anxious about the window beside you; what if he has a gun again and simply shoots through the glass? all he’d have to do is stand on the sidewalk and aim, his werewolf mask laughing at you with its eternally frozen growling expression, and your brains would be all over the table just like that frat guy’s.

your meal sits half-eaten as you get increasingly lost in your anxieties. the others are talking about something, but you can’t hear what. it’s like some of your senses have shut down or begun working incorrectly. the strawberry sauce in camille’s sundae looks too much like blood and even smells like it from the occasional whiffs you get, and you find yourself staring at the sundae dish and wanting to throw it across the restaurant.

jungkook’s hand touches you on the back, and the tension in your body increases. he feels it and draws away, though he keeps trying to meet your eyes. “are you okay?” he whispers.

“why ask that? she obviously isn’t,” yoongi says, like he’s annoyed with the obviousness of jungkook’s question.

“hyung, i’m just trying to help.”

“it was your great idea to come out here when she didn’t want to, though.”

“y/n—” camille starts.

“can’t you throw that out? it smells like blood.” your mouth feels useless and hard to maneuver, but you manage to say those words.

“what?”

“the…that. that thing.” everyone looks at camille’s melting sundae. yoongi raises his eyebrows.

“blood?”

“do you mean it—looks like blood?” jungkook suggests.

you raise your voice in irritation, not understanding how everyone else is unable to perceive the same scent that you do. “no, i-it does, but it smells like blood too! just get rid of it!”

one of the waitresses comes over to the table. “is everything okay over here?”

“um, we’re fine! i’m finished with this though.” camille hurriedly hands the sundae off to her, trying to keep the situation calm.

“oh, well—the rest of you too? that’ll be it, then?” she gathers everyone’s plates and leaves with a smile that attempts to be cordial but is still colored with unease.

her departure leaves a stiff silence in which you all spare glances at each other but try to avoid directly meeting eyes. camille is the first to break it.

“i’ll ask my dad if i can stay over with you,” she suggests. she suddenly sounds much more tired. jungkook’s eyebrows furrow slightly at her words; yoongi silently glances at the younger man. “just, you know…maybe the extra company would help? he’s been treating me like a kid again, but we should be safe with the bodyguards there, so…”

“you don’t have to do that,” you say, though you’re too exhausted to truly argue.

“you’re in shambles, y/n. and it’s not just for your benefit. i’m feeling pretty fucking alone right now, and it’s hard for my dad to understand the emotional side of it, so…” camille plays with her fingers and doesn’t look at anyone as she speaks; you know talking about her father can be a sore spot for her sometimes. “uh, anyway. not to trauma-dump or anything. just let me do this.”

you sigh. “fine…okay. do whatever you have to. can we just leave?”

as you’re all walking outside, jungkook pulls you aside.

“i still worry about you after that incident at the store, you know?” he admits.

you shrug his hand off your arm and glare at him. “you think i’m crazy.”

“i don’t. i just want you to be able to relax and not feel like you’re being hunted 24/7. i don’t think the killer is constantly waiting around the nearest corner for you, y/n.”

“you don’t know how close the killer could be. he knows where i go to sleep at night. so stop the bullshit, jungkook.”

“you’ll be okay. you have me, remember? i protected you that night…i can do it again.”

you examine his face for a long moment and find that you are too overwhelmed with stress and fear to be moved by his words. “i’d like to trust you…but the killer might just murder you too. then who’ll save me?” you don’t wait for his response before walking away to catch up with the other two.

--

LYING IN WAIT...

it’s strange to see the police bodyguards in veronica’s driveway and backyard everyday. it’s not the same two all day—they switch off so that there are two doing a day shift and two doing a night shift.

the security team at the hospital where your sister works is aware of the situation, so you try not to get too worried about her safety when she’s away from the house—but it’s difficult.

there have been no more kills connected to your university since lorelai. it seems like half the town has forgotten their fears and tried to go back to some sense of normalcy while the other half still hides away and lives in perpetual panic, including you. the former group of people has started muddying the waters for the police, with some teenagers getting brave enough to sneak around in wolf masks and vandalize buildings with red-lettered virgin graffiti just to fuck with the cops. there have even been a few people who turned themselves in claiming to be the killer—only their supposed confessions never matched the details of the case.

reporters have tried to hound lorelai’s family and your family several times for any speculations or answers on the killer’s identity, but none of you are willing to spread misinformation just to give them something to write about. however, that hasn’t stopped other residents of your town from sharing their speculations and even implicating their own relatives or neighbors—whether as a fucked-up joke or as genuine revenge just depends on whoever’s speaking. with all of these false leads, the police are still no closer to finding the killer than they’d initially been.

everyday feels like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop, though the chances of any more kills are starting to seem improbable; the university is practically empty. but it doesn’t matter to you if the school is nearly deserted, because the killer has his aims set on you now, and you only wish you knew why.

up in your room, you and camille sit on your bed gazing out the window—the window that must always remain locked now, for fear of unwanted ingress. you’ve never been uncomfortable in your sister’s house, but lately you’ve been feeling like you’re boxed in with every wall pressing towards you.

sitting up from your lying-down position, you have to find the appropriate words for a moment before speaking. “camille—i can’t stop feeling like maybe we aren’t entirely safe,” you murmur.

camille raises her eyebrows. “why not? those guys stay outside all day, and we keep everything locked up day and night. literally, the only time the front door opens is for veronica to leave and come back from work everyday.”

“i don’t know. there’s no particular reason for it…it just seems like we’re waiting for something.”

“…yeah? for the killer to be caught.”

“but he’s made no moves recently. you remember the policeman’s daughter, right? i even texted her and she hasn’t heard anything new that we don’t already know. seems like things have slowed down at the police station. it’s not like that abandoned house was in the killer’s name or anything, so what leads would they have?”

camille frowns and rubs her eyes like something’s in them, but when she looks at you directly, you see her eyes are red from unshed tears. “…i want things to be okay, though. i’m tired of living like this. you know how i had to beg just to get my dad to let me leave the house. he’s constantly on edge.” you feel even more unsettled to see camille so distressed lately, as she’s always been the only one able to pull something funny out of a terrible situation—something enough to distract you from the horrors. “all i know is they’ll have to dig his ass out of some hole in the ground at some point. he can’t hide in this town forever.”

“yeah…i guess you’re right.” you still don’t feel reassured, but you don’t voice your doubts.

--

WEDNESDAY, NOV 22

“i think i might go mad,” camille says from her position on the armchair, her limbs splayed haphazardly across it and one hand stuck in a bag of chips.

you sigh. “you’re the one who wanted to watch this thanksgiving movie marathon.”

“the most mid holiday of the season,” jungkook adds.

“no one cares what either of you think, thanks.” it isn’t long before the program is over and the ending credits are rolling. with an exaggerated exhale, camille gets up from the chair and crunches the bag of chips in her hand. “i’m going to your room, y/n. you two just do whatever it is you do down here, since you hate my movie choices so much!”

“means we can finally turn the channel.” jungkook snatches the remote off the coffee table and does just that.

camille goes into the kitchen to throw out the chip bag and wash her hands. your focus returns to the TV. a few seconds later, you hear the upstairs flooring creak above the noise of the water pouring from the tap.

“what’s up, sis? i thought you were sleeping.” veronica is known to be a deep sleeper, so it’s not common for her to be getting up in the middle of the night. there’s no answer to your question. you glance upstairs, but your sister isn’t standing there; she isn’t standing at all, instead being carried by someone wearing an all-too familiar mask.

you scream as the killer tosses your sister over the stair railing. her torso has been sliced open from collarbone to navel, her body leaving a large splatter of blood on the floor where she lands. jungkook jumps to his feet but is momentarily immobilized as he gazes at your sister’s body crumpled on the floor. you slide off the couch and crawl over to her, still crying out, but there’s no life left to try and salvage.

the screaming brings camille rushing to the kitchen doorway. she can barely vocalize what’s wrong? before spotting veronica’s body and stopping in her tracks. in a moment that feels like it takes forever to pass, the killer pulls a gun from his waistband—you recognize it as one of the guns the policemen carry and realize he must’ve killed the bodyguard posted in the backyard—and shoots her in the chest twice.

“camille!” when you go over to where she’s lying on the ground, she is still alive but bleeding intensely and struggling to breathe. your knees slip in the blood that begins pooling around her. “shit, camille…p-please don’t die…” you press your hand against the wounds, but they’re bleeding so much that your efforts don’t help, and the pressure of your hand causes her more pain.

there’s the sound of a gunshot at the front door as the lock is blown off, and the door is banged open a few seconds later by the remaining bodyguard. he has virtually no time to fire off another shot before the killer is shooting him in the head first.

the killer throws the gun aside, taking his knife in his other hand and making his way down the stairs. “your sister left her window cracked open. i waited for days for a slip-up like that. see how much harm can come from a simple mistake? well, she was collateral damage anyway.”

even in your panic, it’s as if all your bodily functions freeze when you recognize the familiarity of the killer’s voice. camille reacts with a rattling gasp, but her body is becoming too weak for her to utter anything; all she can do is watch as the man stops at the bottom of the stairs and pulls his mask off.

“yoongi…” your voice breaks as you try to speak again, but nothing coherent comes out.

he drops the mask on the floor and brushes a hand through his hair. “i guess you weren’t expecting that. good. we kept it up ‘til the end.”

your lips form around the word we, but your vocal cords won’t cooperate. you twist around to look at jungkook, who is still standing by the couch.

the man who you’d gotten too close to for your own good and done so many firsts with, who’d promised you that he’d protect you and was even there for you on the day of lorelai’s memorial, looks at you now with eyes glowing from the thrill as his mouth twitches into a smile—small at first but growing into a full grin. “i almost can’t believe we staged all that shit and it actually worked. you really believed it all, y/n.

not all of those kills were hyung’s, of course...there’s no way i’d miss out on the best parts. you don’t know what it’s like until you kill a person for the first time. crashing cherry bomb was his idea, though. and lorelai was mine. that bitch would’ve kept you away from me, and i needed her gone for this kill to work.”

through tears, you finally muster up the strength to ask, “wh-why have you done this? that night…y-you mean to tell me none of that was real? being shot at—why would you—” your voice rises until you’re shouting. “you-you’ve killed so many people. what was the purpose?!”

jungkook’s smile fades somewhat as he pretends to think about it, acting like he’s reminiscing on wistful memories. “i realized that killing and fucking aren’t that different, y/n. the real ecstasy of it is in taking someone pure…and doing something to them that has never been done before, and can never be done again. there’s a certain eroticism in killing someone, stabbing them, entering them…it’s like sex in the most profane sense.”

“you’re disgusting,” you mutter, glaring at him through your tears. you can’t help but feel shame to think of the times you’d had sex with him. had he simply been imagining murdering you during those moments? it makes you want to throw up.

yoongi steps closer until he’s right in front of you and camille. “and as for me…i just enjoy it. practice really does make perfect. you wouldn’t believe how entertaining it can be to see someone beg for their life.” his lips turn upwards in a dark smile resembling jungkook’s. “but instead of raging at us, i think you have bigger matters to be concerned with.” yoongi gestures his knife hand to camille, and when you look down at her body, you realize she’s no longer moving.

you lift camille’s head up with your hands as if that could make her return your gaze, though you can find no sign of breathing or pulse. “god, no…” you scream in frustration, your hands slipping in her blood. you check once more and again for any signs of life, because there is just no possible way this could’ve happened, but there are none present. “please—i’m sorry…”

“time’s up.” yoongi grabs your arm and yanks you away from camille, jostling you to try to get you on your feet. you flail around in his grip, fruitlessly scratching at his arms that are covered by his thick jacket, before managing to elbow him in the groin with your frantic movements. “shit!” this causes him to loosen his grip, which is enough for you to scramble away from him, slipping in the blood as you go.

you make it to the other side of the room where the officer lies facedown—though there isn’t much left of his face from yoongi’s shot. you snatch the gun from the dead officer’s hand and point it in the direction of both men. the safety is already off; all you’d have to do is pull the trigger and kill either one of them right now. before you can act, yoongi uses his free hand to pull another gun from his waistband—his own.

“as i said before, i know how to take care of myself,” he says, flicking the safety off and aiming for you, though his stance shows he’s still in pain. “please don’t assume it’ll be that easy. do you even know how to shoot a gun?”

you and yoongi are at an impasse as you both point your guns at each other, jungkook looking on with casual amusement coloring his face. “fuck you,” you spit out. you remain hesitant to fire on him, knowing that even if you succeed, he could fatally shoot you at the same time.

“let’s not do it this way,” yoongi says, his voice low and soft in an attempt to be persuasive, though you just find it disturbing. “you were supposed to be a clean kill. a few stabs and it’d all be over. i’ll even let jungkook do it, since you seem to like each other so much. do you really want to be shot down like a dog like camille over there?”

“you and him can both fry in hell!” you shout.

yoongi glances over at jungkook. they both nod before yoongi hands the knife to him, and the younger man takes a few steps in your direction. you don’t know whether to point the gun at him or keep it trained on yoongi; your head is pounding with a headache that you’ve only just realized you have. “don’t come over here. stay away from me!”

you press your back to the wall as jungkook comes closer, inching towards your right side with his knife at the ready. you slide away from him as you keep your back against the wall. “hand it over, y/n. it doesn’t have to be like this.”

“hand it over and let you kill me? are you insane? you lied to me this whole time, you fucking piece of shit.”

jungkook scoffs and looks at yoongi as if to say can you believe this? “why wouldn’t i lie to you? you were always meant to die.”

he won’t stop coming towards you, and you’re running out of room to slide away from him. you grasp for anything to try to reason with him, though you know it’s futile. “you realize that if you kill me now and you conveniently survive, everyone will know it’s you? you’ve been living here for weeks, you jackass!”

“hyung and i have that covered. it’s not for you to worry about, considering you won’t be worrying about anything soon.”

jungkook lunges for you with the knife, thinking he can catch you off guard and overpower you. you scream and pull the trigger in your frenzied state of mind, shooting yoongi. the next few things seem to happen almost simultaneously:

you hear the crash of yoongi’s body hitting the TV stand and the TV falling to the floor.

you feel jungkook’s knife piercing your shoulder, causing you to fire a stray round into the wall from the unexpected burst of pain.

you hear another gunshot that’s not from you; you see and feel jungkook stumble into you, the knife sliding from his fingers and to the floor.

you realize that he’s been shot when his hand flies to the bullet wound on his lower back; he’d been standing in front of you, and yoongi meant to hit you, not him.

“jungkook!” yoongi’s shout is furious and regretful as he steadies himself on the TV stand.

trying to push the pain into the back of your mind, you clumsily grasp jungkook’s fallen knife and run for the stairs. more shots follow you and most of them miss but one, which strikes you in the thigh.  while you cling to the stair railing and try to regain your footing, you are suddenly staring mortality in the face and understanding with a freezing-cold clarity that you will die right now if you don’t do something.

your nervous system vibrates with fear and adrenaline as you tighten your grip on the police officer’s gun and shoot yoongi with it twice—in the same area he’d shot camille.

these last two bullets finish him off immediately. you don’t think it’s fair, with how camille suffered and bled and died in your arms. for a moment, you’re so outraged that you wish he’d come back to life so that you could kill him again. you’re torn from these thoughts by jungkook.

“you bitch…he was my only family after everyone else threw me away. do you understand? i’ll fucking kill you!” jungkook is nearly writhing in the ground from his upset and from the hurt of his injury; it frightens you that this same man is someone you once thought you could grow fond of.

you aim the gun for jungkook next, but the chamber is empty. either way, he currently has no weapon, which leaves you with a small chance to get away before he re-arms himself. throwing the gun away, you stagger up the rest of the steps while his screams continue echoing up to you.

you give no thought to the blood trail you’re leaving behind as you rush to veronica’s room and to the window yoongi had entered through. you begin squeezing yourself through, keeping your grip on your knife all the while, but your injuries make it difficult to move. a few more tears slip out as you try to balance your injured leg on the tree branch beneath the window, and the desperation of wanting to give up clings to you.

you hear jungkook’s heavy and limping footsteps coming up the stairs, and you attempt to hurry, but you’re only halfway out of the window. when he crashes into the room, it’s unnervingly easy for him to grab your arm and yank your body back through the window, uncaring of how you get scraped up in the process.

he jams you up against the nightstand with one of the kitchen knives to your neck to stop your movements; his harsh maneuver causes the objects on the nightstand to rattle. the nightstand’s edge digs into the backs of your thighs, the pressure causing your wounded thigh to hurt more.

“you want to know why i picked you?” jungkook hisses, the knife’s blade stinging your throat as it begins to break skin. “you were just another choice out of many, but i decided you’d be the first one that i’d fuck and kill.”

it’s painful to hear, but it angers you at the same time. “fuck you!” in your rage, you spit in his eyes. jungkook jerks back and the knife shifts from its previous position at your neck; you take those few seconds to grasp the alarm clock off the nightstand and crash it against his head.

“shit—!” he cries out, stumbling and grasping the side of his head. he tries to grab for you again, but you jump onto the bed and crawl away from him, your stomach lurching at all of veronica’s blood soaked into the sheets. you spot a small decorative glass bowl on the dresser—the one filled with little candies that you’d always teased veronica for, saying she was so much like a grandma handing out treats to her grandchildren. when your feet touch the ground again, you clasp your hand around it like it’s a lifeline and fling it at jungkook’s head as hard as you can, just as he makes it around the bed to your side. the shards cut his face when it breaks, slowing him down further as he grabs his slashed and bleeding face. one of his eyes is blinded from the blood and glass.

this will probably be your only chance while he’s struggling to gather himself. you rush towards him with the knife handle tight in both of your hands and drive the blade into the middle of his chest, putting all your strength into that movement—just as his own knife impales your abdomen.

you are both simultaneously struck from the shock of being stabbed, and it takes you a few long moments to piece your mind back together as the pain radiates throughout your body. jungkook groans when you shift the knife around in his wound as you pull it out, letting his blood flow out freely. his breaths become wet and rattling as he chokes on his own blood, the red fluid staining his mouth and dripping down to his neck. he jams his knife further into your wound in retaliation so that the handle is flush against your body, causing your head to spin.

“i-if i die, i’m taking you w-with me.” jungkook gasps with his remaining effort. his body starts to sag from its standing position as he weakens, his hand slipping from the knife handle. he loosely grasps the comforter with one hand as he collapses to his knees, his torso becoming soaked with blood and his head bleeding from your earlier hits.

you drop your knife and lean against the bed too, shifting your body to find a position that could lessen the pain, but it’s impossible with a knife lodged in your abdomen. you know enough to understand that you’ll bleed out faster if you remove it, though, so you resist the urge. “you can rot in hell alone, jungkook.” you watch him struggle for what feels like minutes before his breaths stop altogether and his body slumps to the floor. he is just a blur of clothes and blood through your tears. you’ve never felt so lonely in your life.

you have a thought to call 911, but you’re becoming more and more lightheaded from the blood loss, and you can already hear sirens approaching on your street. you figure one of your neighbors must’ve called after hearing the gunshots; perhaps the bodyguard sent for backup before he was shot. your rescue has come much later than you would’ve preferred—or maybe everything just happened much faster than it seemed. you can’t tell anymore.

you can’t tell anymore, and you no longer want to look at the carnage around you, and nothing makes any sense. so, you close your eyes to it all; and when you feel someone lifting you in their arms—this sensation is so familiar—and maneuvering you onto a stretcher, you allow yourself to relent to it and empty your mind of everything.

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[sweatervest-obsessed]

hello !! rn i'm in the mood for some angst with a happy ending so can i request something where reader's got really bad abandonment issues? 🥹 maybe they fight over something which makes r leave ++ spence is confused bc it's so sudden n unlike them but it's all bc theyre scared he'll leave first n then it's just lots n lots of reassurance🥹🥹 thank you!!

Obsessed.

Thank you for the ask!!

So I wrote you this gorgeous 1k fic. I was so fucking proud of it. And then my computer deleted the WHOLE THING (which is why I am so behind on responding to this lmao). But. I rewrote as much of it as possible, and then changed and added a few things. So now it's better than before.

I really enjoy this version ,and I hope you do too!! so please enjoy!!!!!

WC: 1.5k

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

TW: Anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, self-destructive tendencies, swearing, abandonment issues lmao

“What do you mean….”

You couldn’t look at him. How could you? I mean, leaving the love of your life because you know he could never love you back in the way you love him. He’d just leave anyways.

They all do.

You’re just trying to minimize the pain.

But why did it hurt so fucking much.

Which was why you kept your gaze anywhere but him.

“I-I-I—“ You kept your gaze on the ground. “I can’t do t-this anymore Spencer.”

“Can’t do what. Y/n you aren’t making any sense. What’s going on?”

You should you head. “It’s over. Spencer.”

"Y/n what are you..."

Looking at the ground, you began to fidget, something about his gaze on you was making he whole situation worse. Originally you were going to just send him a text and disappear for the rest of your life, but he came home early. He wasn't supposed to be home for another day.

"Spencer I-I." You flexed your hands, trying to find the right words. "It's done Spence. I can't.."

"You can't what?" His voice was a whisper. You could hear the heartbreak in his voice, but you wouldn't dare look at him. If you looked at him, you would cave and stay and he would take your heart in his hands and crush it to dust.

But why did this hurt so much?

"What is going on Y/n. Talk to me."

You couldn't understand why he was being so caring. Why was he so fucking perfect. It felt like a sick joke that the universe gave you this perfect man, and then put the sinking feeling in your gut when it got too good. Like something was going to go wrong.

And you wanted to be ahead of it. Start the grieving process now before you got too deep.

It's too late for that anyways.

His voice was soft. He didn't move towards you. He didn't want to 'spook' you---he knew you so well.

You know him so well.

Clearly, whatever tactic you had tried to employ when he came home, wasn't working, so you decided to shift. You shifted to the anger resting in your gut. The hot and heavy coals that burned through your skin and made you seeth with anger.

"Y/n, please, look at me."

You couldn't. And he fucking knew that too. You stormed past him and towards the bedroom.

Spencer was speechless, completely unsure as to what was going on.

When he arrived home you had been shoving things into your suitcase, but then when you saw him you froze up and started to try and break up with him.

"Talk to me. What is going on?"

You ignored him and started to pull clothes out of their respective drawers and onto the bed you two shared. It was hectic, and aggressive. You were slamming things, stomping--anything to hide the slight tremor in your hands, and make you seem bigger than you were.

"Y/n!"

His voice made you jump but it didn't stop you. You took the pang of guilt in your stomach and tried to twist it into the anger you so desperately tried to justify.

Spencer slowly moved over to you and tried to take you hand.

"NO." You threw the small pile of clothes you had just taken from the closet on to the ground and pulled away quickly. "No Spencer god. Wh-what don't you fucking get. We're done. It's over."

Spencer rarely heard you raise your voice, let alone yell, and definitely never at him. But you weren't even looking at him.

You fucking hated it when he profiled you. It made your skin crawl when you felt his eyes roaming over you. "Look at me."

His voice wasn't hateful. It wasn't angry. It was soft, understanding.

God why did he have to make this so fucking hard.

"Y/n..."

"Spencer. Stop."

You felt the moment he realized what was happening in your brain., You weren't the easiest to read, but you weren't exactly a closed book either.

"Look at me."

You looked up and made eye contact with him, hoping that the last part of your will would hold strong, and get you through this.

Spencer's eyes were filled with worry and disbelief. You saw the swarm of emotions as he locked eyes with you. But behind all of the disbelief and concern and love and pain was fear. You could see the pain he was so desperately trying to hide from you.

You know him so well.

Spencer could see the straight fire in yours. They were lit with a facade of anger and pain and hatred. But you could never hate Spencer. Never. And he saw right through it. He could see the panic in your eyes. The pure terror and pain.

You hated that he knew you so well.

"Y/n..."

He took one step forward, not trying to corner you, but trying to get closer to you. You took one step back.

"No." You shook your head.

"Please just talk to me."

Fuck him. Fuck him and his stupid wonderful voice and his kind eyes and his love and the way he knows exactly how you take your tea in the morning and all of your favorite books and why you love the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice so much and what animals you wanted to have one day and why you hated spiders and the ocean so much and which museums and monuments you had on your bucket list. Fuck this man for loving you so hard, and making you want to spend every single moment of your life with him.

"I-I--" and fuck him for making your voice crack. You took another small step backwards.

"Please." Another step forward.

This time, all you could do was shake your head and break eye contact. You were tensing up the closer he got to you.

"Y/n."

"N-No" You chooked on your own voice. A single tear broke through and slide down your cheek.

"Baby please..." Another step. "Just talk to me. What's going on?"

That was the final straw for you.

The dam broke, and tears poured down your face. You let out the most heartbreaking sob that Spencer could have never imagined.

His arms were quickly around you, catching you and bringing you both down to the floor, where he held you against his chest.

You shook your head and tried to escape from his grasp, but he just held on tighter to you, not letting you go. Spencer could never let you go, he just didn't know how to tell you that.

Through your tears, you started to hyper ventilate. Spencer wouldn't let you leave his arms. It felt like a boa constrictor. You couldn't breathe.

You started to panic, not taking in as much air as you should, causing your head to get dizzy. You tugged on Spencer's arms as he tightened his grip on you, determined to keep you safe in his arms while you got whatever it was out of your system.

You screamed at him to let you go. He didn't respond, only holding you against his chest and you angrily slammed your hands against it.

Why was he so fucking perfect. Why couldn't he just let you leave and walk away.

Fuck.

Once your breathing had started to even out a bit, Spencer adjusted the two of you, still on the ground, so that you were straddling his lap with your arms around his neck.

Surrounding you was all of your clothes thrown about, and your suit case barely filled with anything.

He didn't say anything, just continued to rub his thumb against your hip, letting you come down from whatever sort of panic you just went through.

He held you close to his body, deciding in that moment to never let you go, ever.

You felt the world slow down. Time melted beneath you as the sun rose and set, the moon waxed and waned, The leaves browned and fell of the trees, and the earth stopped spinning at the end of time and all of the stars had died out. The world had stopped but you were still in Spencer's arms.

"I don't know..." He whispered in your ear, and the world started to turn again. "What just happened in your head--"

You tried to speak up but he just shushed you gently. "But we don't have to talk about it until you're ready."

You nodded.

What did you do in this world to deserve this man?

"Why don't we make some tea?" He whispered, and you just nodded again, holding onto Spencer as if the floor was going to give out and cause you to fall through the pits of hell and judgment, away from one another.

Neither of you went to move, finding peace in one another's arms.

While Spencer truly had no idea what just occurred, or why it occurred, he was still sitting here with you. And while you owed Spencer an apology and an explanation, he was still sitting here with his arms wrapped around you, kissing your shoulders.

Spencer Reid was going to stay with you for as long as you'd let him, and he would do anything to get you to see that, even if it meant sitting on the floor of your shared bedroom, holding you until the stars burned out and the world stopped spinning.

#x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid x reader angst #dr spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x self insert #criminal minds fanfiction #Spencer reid x y/n angst #Dr Spencer reid x dr!reader #spencer reid x gn!reader #spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid masterlist #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfic

[lizthewriter]

i know you are a stargirl / billy loomis

PAIRING  billy loomis x fem!reader

SUMMARY  billy spends the entire next day teasing you, watching you with those kind of eyes. he finds a way to apologize to you, by giving you exactly what you need: pleasure and relief. part 1.

TAGS  billy loomis x fem!reader, smut, dom!billy, sub!reader, dacryphilia, cunniligus, cum eating, billy likes to order you around, body worship, slight angst, if you squint, billy becomes soft!dom billy halfway through, originally planning on making some kinky shit but suddenly this transforms into soft smut???, whatever we ball

QUOTE  "i shouldn't cry, but i love it, starboy," - stargirl interlude by the weeknd, feat. lana del rey

WORD COUNT  2.8K

WRITTEN  11.24.2023

A/N  i'm gone 😵🥴 anyways, first REAL smut, hope you like it anon 🤭🤭 17+

You knew he was teasing you - you knew. All he had done the entire fucking day was stare at you with those hungry, brown eyes as though he were devouring you with them. It was hard not to steal glances his way and it was hard to pretend as though you weren't. Even when he picked you up before school, he just had to massage your thigh the entire car ride.

After your last class of the day, he met you by your locker. Of course, he acted all gentleman-like and pretended as though he hadn't been eye-fucking you all day. He carried your bag for you as you both made your way towards his car. He opened and closed the door for you, gently placing the book bag near your feet.

"How was your day?" He asked as he started the car, backing out of the parking space. His hand was thrown around the front seat, his fingers tickling your neck. You hated the sound of his voice - so smooth and sultry, so captivating. You had to press your legs together and look out the window to keep yourself distracted.

"It was good," you responded without any elaboration. He put the car back into drive and soon enough, you were out of the school parking lot and on the high road. It takes you a minute to realize that he was going in the wrong direction - he had to take a left out of the parking lot to get back to your place, not a right. "Billy, you're going the wrong way. My house is back there." You pointed back where you came from.

"We're not going to your place," he responded, twisting the dial on his sound system. Rock blared through the speakers, but he quickly turned it down to a much more tolerable level. "Sorry, Stu's station . . . no, we're going to my place."

His place? Your obvious shock could be seen on your face, judging by the way Billy laughed. "Yeah, Dad's out of town. We've got the whole place to ourselves." A blush painted your face a sweet cherry red. Billy had never brought you round his place, for good reason. He and his father had a rather complicated relationship . . . a difficult home life. You would say he had never taken you over out of embarrassment, shame, or some sort of protectiveness but you always couldn't help but feel as though he didn't trust you to come over. No one but you and Stu knew even the smallest inklings of Billy's personal life. He had always been rather reserved and again, he had a reputation to uphold.

But now? Knowing that he trusted you enough to bring you round? That he was finally putting in some godamned effort into your relationship? You felt more turned on then before.

It took you a moment to realize that he had called your name quite a few times. "What do you think?" He asked. His demeanor seemed nonchalant, but there was that undertone of nervousness in his voice.

You finally turned back towards him - his eyes turned away from the road, just for a moment, to look at you. You bit your bottom lip, a smile growing on your face. It was infectious, spreading to Billy as well. "Sounds good," you responded with a nod.

The rest of the car ride was silent. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird. Often, you two found yourselves in a comfortable sort of quiet, one where you appreciate the other's prescene. You watched great big houses and fields of grass fly past your window - Billy still had his arm swung around you from before. You leaned your cheek into his hand, smiling.

When you had gotten to his house, you had to do a double take. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it was a house just like Stu's. Great and big and beautiful, with a blossoming garden and a freshly mown lawn. He opened the door to his house for you and you entered, slipping off your shoes and placing your bag on a stool by the coat hanger.

"Home sweet home," Billy said, in a tone half-sarcastic. He placed his shoes neatly next to yours and encouraged you to let loose, follow him inside. "Do you want a drink? Something to eat?"

You walked together down a hall and into a spacious, rustic kitchen. "No, I'm not very hungry . . ." You weren't sure what else to say - Billy hadn't opted to fill the silence either. And here was the other side of the flip coin. The tense silence. A quiet that haunts you during the day, one where you both know exactly what you want, except . . . he does nothing.

Billy leans against the marble countertop of the island and you stop in front of him, unsure of what to do or say. He watches you intently, waiting for you to speak.

"Your house is, uh . . . really beautiful," you said, in an attempt to make conversation. He stands there and says nothing. "I'm glad you invited me over." The silence finally gets to you. "Are you gonna say something?"

He pushes himself off the counter and placed his hands on your waist. "I'm glad I invited you over too, sweetheart." The way he talks, the way he moves, it's like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. It's like he's trying to get you antsy and desperate. All right, well if that's the game he wants to play then two can tango.

You smile innocently at him, leaning forward to press a not-so-chaste kiss to his cheek. When you pull away, your lips linger not a centimeter from his skin. Your breath is hot and heavy and your eyes flicker towards his. "I think I'm starting to get hungry now," you whisper softly, pulling away from him. You slip easily out of his loosened grip on your waist and make your way over to the fridge. "Anything good in here?" You ask, leaning in as though scanning the inventory.

"Unless you want a ketchup, mustard, and pickle sandwich, I'm afraid we're just going to have to order in." You tried to keep your breathing steady as he hovers close behind you, too close. Slowly, you close the door and turn around to face him. He bows your head to look down at you, and you feel much more like the prey to his predator rather than the key to his heart.

You want control of the situation. "So, what should we do? Watch a movie or-"

You don't have enough time to finish before he plants a hand on the refrigerator door beside you. Internally, you smirk - he had been trying to get you worked up, yet now you've done exactly that to him. "I didn't invite you over to watch a movie," he whispered. The air of tension grew so thick, it was like a snake that wrapped around your throat and kept you in a chokehold. "And I think you know that."

A smirk grew on his face as your innocent expression fell - well shit. He brings up his hand and trails his index finger down your cheek, along the vein of your neck, and down your side. You shiver with anticipation and squeeze your thighs together, none of which escapes his notice. "Don't think I don't see you, pretty girl, I see you."

"Billy . . ."

"Remember what I told you last night?" You felt a rush of heat in your cheeks. "Say it."

You felt embarrassed and cornered. His hand finally stopped moving, resting on your hip. It felt like it was meant to be there, like there was a Billy-sized hole in your heart that needed to be filled by his touches, by his kisses . . . He leaned in close, pressing his lips to the edge of your hairline by your ear. "Say it," he said, something that sounded much more like a command than a request.

"Billy," you started, your breath becoming shallow. Meeting his eyes only sent that pang to your lower abdomen - you practically moaned where you stood. He was so close and you could feel the want spilling off of his skin, a poisonous gas intoxicating you. "I want you to fuck me."

That was all he needed. Soon enough, he was clawing at your skin while his lips smashed into yours with desperation. He needed to feel every inch of your skin, he needed to show you that you were his, and more importantly, he was yours. His tounge slipped past your lips, causing you to gasp and lean into him. He swirled his tounge around your own and wrapped the arm that had been planted above you around your waist. He pulled you into him so that your breasts were pressed against his chest and your head was tilted all the way back to meet his lips.

"Mm, missed the sweet taste of your lips sweetheart," he murmured into your mouth, his other hand coming up to grope your breast. He gave it a gentle squeeze and then swiped his finger over your nipple, causing it to grow erect under his hand. You let out a desperate whimper, kissing him with more hunger, applying so much force that you can feel your teeth clash. When he pulls away, a laugh rumbles through his chest. "Seems you feel the same way." He pauses, his eyes following the length of your body so leisurely that you were beginning to grow impatient. "Get on the counter."

You grin and eagerly jump onto the kitchen island, facing Billy, who currently stands between your legs. "I missed you," you told him, with some honesty. You did, you really did, even if he was being a jerkface. A knowing expression replaced your sentimental one, your fingers beginning to toy with the waistband of his jeans. "I missed this."

He presses another kiss to your lips, that devilish smirk still haunting his face. "Lie down, slowly."

He places his hand behind your head, helping you lay back on the cool counter. You hiss softly as the chill touches your bare arms - Billy simply shushes you and plants wet kisses along your neck. One of your hands tangles in his hair while the other grips the countertop as you lean your head away from him, presenting him with more of your neck. "I'm sorry for being such a dick . . . for being so fucking stupid."

"It's okay -"

"It's not," he responds sharply, pulling away from your neck to meet your eyes with a glare as firm as iron. "I was an asshole. What I did wasn't 'okay.' You don't have to forgive me. But I want to show you that I do care for you, that I do . . ." He glanced down at the ground. "I do - love you." The way he said it was tense and hesitant, but not because he was trying to force it, but because it was so hard for him to say.

Your expression softens and you gently tilt his chin up so that you could see him. The lust in his eyes was momentarily gone, replaced by something much more loving. You press your lips gently to his, clutching his face with need. "I know you do baby, I love you too." You knew it was hard for him to be soft and affectionate, but there were times like these - very rare times, you might add - where he opened up to you. Just a little. It made you feel infinitely special. You wanted him to know you felt the same way. "I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

He leaned towards your hand as you brushed your fingers through his hair with a lovingness that only you could provide him. He his chest tighten - I'm so proud of you. Even though Stu had always stuck by his side through thick and thin, you were the one who showed you love. The only person who ever had, anyways. He wanted to show you his appreciation, he wanted to make you feel good.

He slowly pulled himself away from you - you looked confused for a moment, but not for long. Billy gently lifted your skirt with his fingers peeking beneath. You felt heat rush to where you wanted him to touch you oh-so-badly, a reminder of the sinful activities you were up to only a moment ago. "Pretty," he mumbled. It wasn't long before he was gently pulling your legs up and over his shoulders, peeling off your panties by lifting each leg. He placed them on the counter next to you and lowered himself to your bare heat.

"Billy," you said breathlessly, silent as you had watched him.

"It's okay," he assured you, not removing his eyes from where they had strayed. "Just gonna make you feel good." He dove down, pressing kisses up your inner thighs as preparation. Not that you needed any, you were already wet and ready for him.

You let out a gasp, your chest rising off the counter at his first lick. He savored the way you reacted to him, so sensitive, so delicate, so beautiful. He wanted to hear more, to taste more.

He started to lap at your cunt, nose brushing against your clip with every motion. In an instant, you were a moaning mess - your hands tugging on his hair, your back arching off the counter, your head lolling to the sides. He was unrelenting, giving you exactly what you wanted, where you wanted it. His name stumbled out of your mouth, repeating it like a prayer to a higher power.

Your scent, your taste, had his mind going hazy. He could feel the tightness in his pants but he was doing his best to ignore it. Today was going to be all about you. His tounge explored every inch of your clit, the way his mouth moved along your heat growing more and more messy. Until his cheeks were covered in your slick and his pupils were so dilated, his eyes were almost black. You whined, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and clouding your vision. When he got a good look at you all undone, just for him, it only encouraged him more.

"My pretty girl," he mumbled in a daze, slowly inserting a finger and shutting his eyes as he felt you clench around him.

"Billy . . . hngh! Billy, please . . . more."

"You sound beautiful." Slowly, he began to pump his finger, in and out, in and out. He watched as your daze grew, until your eyes were blown out and drool was leaking from the corner of your lips. "So beautiful." He adds another finger, much to your pleasure. A sheen of sweat gathers on your forehead, making you shine like a goddess.

He finally pulls away from your cunt pressing forward so that your thighs are now pressed against your chest and the two of you are face to face. You look at him through half-hooded eyes and you look lost, yet like you're exactly where you should be. "I love you. I promise I'll be better. I promise. You're - you're the only good thing in my life. You keep me in check. You care for me. You show me what love really means. I need you."

You let out a whimper as he begins to increase his pace. "Baby," you whine, your head rocking back and forth but your eyes never straying from his. Billy's words, the position your in, the way he's moving inside of you - you can feel the tension build up in your lower abdomen. "I love you too, so so - oh God - so much!"

He can feel himself twitch at the way your voice jumps an octave, your head flying back with tightly closed eyes. Gasps and curses flew out of your mouth, so vulgar, yet mixed with his name and loving, but broken sentences, so sweet. "You're close," he mumbled.

"Mhm, please, baby! Pleasepleaseplease."

He finally adds a third finger, upping his pace as much as he can to give you the most pleasure. He pressed kisses to as much of your exposed skin as he can, drinking in the way you meal and squirm. "Come for me, sweetheart, it's okay."

You let out a moan and your body twitches as relief floods through your system, your orgasm flowing through your veins. "I know, I know," he says softly, brushing your hair from your face. "You okay?"

You breath heavily, waiting a moment or two to come down from your high. "You were . . . amazing." A breathless laugh leaves your mouth. You tilt your head so that you can look at him properly, raising a hand to cup his cheek. "I'm so glad you came back to me."

He closes his eyes, chest fluttering as he takes in a breath. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

#— [ glizzy posts ☆ ] #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis x you #billy loomis smut #billy loomis #scream #scream 1996 #ghostface x reader #ghostface x you #ghostface smut #ghostface #my writing #fanfiction #my fanfiction #my fic #writing #fanfic

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

okay okay i’m requesting it: leo valdez x mortal!gf if you so please

⋆⭒˚.⋆ leo valdez x mortal! reader hcs

content: leo valdez x mortal! reader hcs warning: angsty angst, mentions of major character death author's note: can't tell if i hate these or love them???? i think im just so attached to the first two mortal! reader hcs that the leo and frank ones are falling short lmao- i've got good ideas for the part twos tho, so it's okay, ig??? anyways, enjoy or don't, we don't really care [as]

leo knew he was toast the moment he walked into that english class

there was no way he was gonna pass this class, despite the fact that he desperately need to in order to graduate

he had fleeting thoughts of not needing a high school education to save the world but then you walked into the class

and leo was going to stay in the class if it cost him his life

he couldn't just let a pretty girl like you slip out of his fingers

even if it did mean he had to read shakespeare and allen poe

totally worth it when he went pleading to you for help, rambling about how you were the top of the class and about how he needed to pass

you gave in to the cute boy easily, offering to meet with him at a nearby diner to study together

originally, it had truly started out as studying

but as the meetings became more frequent, the homework was slowly left behind and the meetings were relabeled as 'dates'

you guys made a pair like never before

you meshed well together, talking like you'd known each other for eons and centuries and lifetimes unknown to you

leo would even dare to say it was a match picked out by aphrodite herself but didn't want to jinx it

and he didn't like to think about the gods and that whole mess of his life when he was with you

with you, he was just leo, the boy who was good at math but painfully bad at english

he was leo, your darling boyfriend, not leo, the repair boy or some demigod hero

he felt a guilt settle into his stomach at every half truth or silver lie he told you

you'd ask questions about why leo's hands were always so warm and how he got to be so good at mechanics, but he'd always just brush these off with jokes or distracting kisses

it was for your betterment, he'd always tell himself afterwards

you didn't need to be burdened with gods and monsters

leo'd never do that to you, his darling girlfriend

not willingly, anyways

he should have known it was too good to last

he should have sat to face the door, just in case

he should have told you everything, prepare you for what was about to walk through the door of the diner that had become the birthplace of what you were sure was the love of your lifetime

and it would end up being the only love of your lifetime, a life cut shorter than it should have been

leo wasn't prepared for a empusa to walk into this space he'd built with you, this space he thought to be untouchable

but he should have known better

and, more than anything, he wished he grabbed the napkins that day

at least, then he'd be the first to run into the empusa...not you

poor, unprepared and unsuspecting, you

leo couldn't really remember what happened next, either because he blocked it out or really it was all that much of a blur

one second youre on your typical tuesday date in the diner and the next leo was on the ground of the diner, his hands pressed into your bleeding wounds as he desperately begged for someone - anyone - to call for help

and you had looked so, so confused, clinging to leo, your precious boy, like your life depended on it

which it did

and leo wished he could sooth all of it, the pain and the confusion

he wished he hadn't left you in the dark, told you, warned you, prepared you

and as you died in his arms, leo wished his godly blood away, as it had only ever brought him heartache

first his mother

now you

what good was being part god if everyone around you dies?

what good was being part god if you couldn't save those who matter most?

that night, leo made one last wish, squeezing your cold palms against his warm ones and pressing his forehead against your blood smattered one.

he wished to find you, next time, in the next life, and the one after that and every single life he got after those

because, maybe, finally, he'd get lucky and be able to keep you around for longer

to love you for longer, in the way you deserved

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus x reader #pjo fandom #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez #leo valdez x you #leo valdez x oc #leo valdez x y/n #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo hoo toa #tlh

[batsythoughts]

BECAUSE I APPARENTLY WRITE ANGST TOO HEARTBREAKING, HERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE VERSION FOR BRUCE TO GET HIS HAPPY ENDING

Original Version

Time came around for you to arrive at the manor and everyone was practically bouncing in their seats in excitement

The moment the doorbell sounded through the halls, all the kids stood up

Bruce told them all to wait there as him and Alfred went to go open the door to let you in

There you stood in your best outfit as Bruce welcomed you inside with a smile while introducing you to Alfred

Alfred gave a polite nod while saying that the whole family has been so excited to offically meet you

Alfred goes to make sure the table is set for everyone as Bruce begins to guide you towards the living room

The moment you came into view there was a chorus of 'hello's that came the group before they each began to introduce themselves

Barbara, Stephanie, Dick, and even Cass went up to give you a hug while the others politely waved

Damian subtlety walked over to Bruce as the cheerleader squad already began to ask for the story of your life

Damian leaned towards his father as he whispered, "This one seems like a very suitable compared to the others you've accompanied yourself with."

Bruce chuckled softly while patting his son on the shoulder, glad to have his verbal approval

Alfred called for everyone to come to the dining room so they could talk more over dinner

Everyone happily showed you which spot beside Bruce you could sit in as the others took their own spots around the table

The chatter is casual as everyone eats, saying that they had put all their effort into making a meal you would like

You tell them that it is a very nice meal and you appreciated the effort they had put into it for the night

Everything goes quiet for a moment as the children take in the praise that was given to them

Jason suddenly pipes up as he looks over at you with a knowing smirk on his face. "Did you know that Bruce still has the first drawing you did on his coffee cup in one of his desk drawers?"

Bruce drops his fork in embarrassment as he sends Jason a intense look as a way to tell him to be quiet

Barbara excitedly added that it was the only way they knew how to find you to begin with anyways

Cass commented on Bruce having just been randomly 'peppy' in the mornings so they wanted to find out and they weren't actively trying to snoop in his business, which Dick quickly said they that's exactly what they all had done

Bruce quickly tells them to stop talking about it with a flustered look on his face before everyone went back to eating

It lasted for all of 10 seconds before Tim quietly added, "He has one in the car's glove compartment as well."

Everyone looses their shit over that revelation while you cover the smile on your face while looking over at Bruce. Softly assuring him that you thought it was kinda sweet

Bruce kept his gaze down as he told them all he was going to change his locks on both his desk and drawers in the morning

Alfred came walking in with a tray of cupcakes with decorative frosting and placing it in the center

All the girls excitedly tell you they had made the frosting from scratch themselves and paid extra care to make the flowers on them

You smile while taking one of the cupcakes as you admire the design before taking a bite

A hum of approval comes from you as you look at them with an eager nod

The kids get their own cupcakes from the try before talking to one another for a moment

Bruce turned towards you with a grin on his face as you stared back at him while the attention wasn't focused just on you

Bruce reached his hand out to take hold of yours on the table while rubbing his thumb over your knuckle as you just stare at one another

Stephanie quickly takes a picture on her phone before going back to her conversation with Jason and Tim

When everyone was done with their cupcakes, the kids helped clear the table as Bruce takes you to the living room to sit down on the couch together for a moment alone

Bruce expresses his apologies for how the kids had acted for a few times throughout the dinner

You quickly assured him it was fine and were expecting something to that extent anyways

The both of you lean back on the cushion as Bruce pulls you into his side, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head

"I'm glad you could come. All of the kids already seem to adore you. Though, it wasn't too hard for a few of them."

You give a small chuckle while turning your head to give him a soft peck on his cheek

You tell him that you found them all sweet, in their own way, and you were glad to have finally met them all

It goes quiet for a moment before you ask, "Did you really keep the coffee sleeves that I drew on?"

A soft groan comes from Bruce as he leaned his head back on the couch

You gave a small laugh while softly teasing him on how many more he had. Asking if he wanted you to draw some more so he could make his own collection

Bruce grabbed the back of your neck to give you a kiss to make you stop talking about it

You gently kiss back while bringing your hand to his cheek to return the kiss

"Children coming into the room! Please make sure all clothes are on! We don't need any images of undres to be burned in our minds!"

You pull away laughing as Jason yells that from the other room before everyone came walking in

A few of them laughing along as they see Bruce's flustered expression as he rubs his temple

The girls go to your side of the couch and begin asking if next time you would want to do a movie night with them all

The boys go to the other side while just stare at Bruce with knowing expressions

You assure them that you would love to spend more time with them the next time that you come over but you sadly did have to leave since you had work tomorrow

Sounds of disappointing come from all around as you stand up

Bruce gets up as well while saying that he will walk you out

"Alone," he adds before any of the others can fully get up from their spots to come along

When you both get to the door, Bruce tells you how he was glad you were able to make it and he would need to have you over again soon

Mostly cause the kids would bug him until you came back

You smile while agreeing because it was such a fun night

The two of you share a small kiss goodnight before you finally walked out the door, promising to tell him when you got home

Bruce smiles as he makes sure you get in the car before finally closing the door

He walks back into the living room to see everyone patiently waiting for him

They all have smiles as they look back at Bruce as if waiting for some kind of special news

This time, it's Dick that speaks up with a smirk on his face

"So... are you gonna get married to them, or do we have to ask for you again?"

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x you #bruce wayne #batman x reader #batfam x reader #batfam imagine #batman

[patrophthia]

sycamore girl | sirius black

pairing: sirius black x reader

genre: fluff, fake-dating/relationships, the tiniest bit of angst, con artists sirius and reader sksks

word count: 12.3K

originally posted on my wattpad

"listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan."what do you say?”

“what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

or two (one really) reluctant person chooses to marry the notorious sirius black for the price of many millions galleons.

"is this seat taken?" the voice caught her by surprise, raising her eyes to meet the asker's waiting ones.

"avril normally sits here," she replied, sparing a glance towards his usual seat; there sat lupin, potter and pettigrew bantering like they always did as they waited for the lesson to start. did they have a fight?

"well she's not here." he pointed out with a small smirk, making his way around the table to take a seat despite her words. "i'm sure she can find another spot."

she only bit her tongue, stopping herself from responding. black —whether he was purposely ignoring or genuinely failed to notice how irritated she seemed to be— cleared his throat, asking her a question that should've been expected from him, yet still managed to surprise her.

"are you seeing anyone?"

feeling as though something was stuck in her throat, she muttered quietly, "pardon?"

"you heard me," he said boldly, pulling his things out from his bag. "why is that any of your concerns?" black paused his actions, keeping his head low as he stared into his bag. "it's not," he admitted after a while, "i'm just curious."

she said nothing, watching as he continued rummaging his bag for his supplies. black lifted his head back up; quill in hand, his grey eyes meeting hers. "are you not going to answer my question sweetheart?"

"i'm not," she said eventually, turning towards the front of the class. "i'm not seeing anyone right now."

•••

it was late, she was tired; extremely tired but sleep didn't seem like it will be making its way to her anytime soon. lily had asked to meet her after class, when she asked why she couldn't just tell her more about the issue during their lunch break lily quickly told her that she had a prefects meeting to attend to (as if lupin eyes didn't grow wide, giving away that it was clearly a lie).

still, she went to the gryffindor's tower anyway, at the exact same place and time that lily had asked to meet her but the redhead wasn't there. instead there was potter, letting her into the common room and insisting that she wait on one of the couches instead of going up to the dorm to see her.

it wasn't until two minutes later when black showed up, sitting down besides her with a —somewhat— uncomfortable look (that didn't suit his handsome features at all) did she realize that this was another one of lily's lie.

"look," black started. helga, whatever did happen to hello, or how are you?, people really just skip to the point now these days. "i'm sure you're wondering why i'm here instead of evans and i will tell you that but i need you to hear everything first before you react, will you be able to do that?"

merlin, gryffindors are weird. "i'll try?"

"great, trying will do." he smiled charmingly, shuffling his weight so he could properly meet her eye to eye. "i have a..." he trailed off thinking to himself, "proposition?"

black licked his lips, mustering up his courage to continue on with his words. "listen, i hate my father and i'm positively sure that he hates me too but he is filthy rich so i curated a-" he paused, considering his next words "-plan of sort."

"so you." he pointed to her.

"and i." he pointed to himself. "get married."

"we then inherit a trust fund that he and mother had set up for regulus and i when we were to be married and split." he finished explaining his plan. "both the money and our relationship, you can go on your merry way and i on mine." he was searching her for a reaction, she knew that, she could feel his eyes roaming around for the most minuscule of movements that came from her. "what do you say?"

she was too stunned to speak; speechless at the shock of it all, it didn't help that his recap was half-assed. "what do i say?" she repeated his words after a while. "no— you want to know what i think?"

at his nod she added, "i think that it's a stupid idea."

black frowned at her words. "honestly, i think it's a solid plan, we just need to get married— we don't even need to be in love! just get married and you get money! it's that easy! it's not like i'm forcing you to join a cult-" to that she opened her mouth, trying to state that the noble house of black itself is a cult but sirius was quick to read her expression, shutting her up by continuing with his pleading, "-besides, i'm not bad looking and great company from what i've been told!"

"well if you're such great company why don't you go find someone else to be fake married to? i'm sure that they'll be plenty of girls lining up for the chance to be your fake wife."

"i don't want any of the other girls, i want you. you're not currently seeing anyone so no one will get hurt from this!" he replied, running a hand through his hair in a stressful manner. this was not how he had planned for it to go. "and i— i want it to be with someone i know and i just so happen to know you."

choosing to ignore how black both admitted that he wanted her for this specific purpose, or how the question that he had asked hours priors to this was in an ulterior motive, she exclaimed. "you also know dorcas. ask her! she's a great girl!" her voice was loud enough for the said girl to turn to her direction with a questioning look. "or marlene, she's extremely good looking."

"i can't," he retorted, sounding the slightest bit annoyed, "everyone and their mother knows marlene swings the other way."

"how are you sure i don't swing the other way then?"

"i don't— do you?" he asked with sudden interest. sirius shook his head, going back to the topic at hand when he stated, "the minimum that you'll get out of this is a million galleons, that's the minimum! i know there's more in that trust fund and i am willing to split it equally."

she thought about it for brief second before asking, "why me? and do not tell me because i'm someone you know because we barely know each other; i only came here to see lily but obviously i was tricked, so tell me why i should agree to this?"

black sighed, his voice growing grim when he answered, "you're the only girl i'm willing to invest in." he paused, maybe those weren't the smartest word choices but he was a flirt not a romantic and the difference had never been made clearer. "so won't you just... think about it, please."

•••

"are you going to do it?" lily asked, settling herself on the seat across from her. please lord, let her finish her essay in peace. "are you still mad at me? c'mon [name] i said i was sorry!"

and here she thought she would be safe in the library.

"i still have the rights to be mad about it," she retorted, keeping her head focused on finishing her work. "you made me sit through that god awful plan!"

"only because i thought you'd agree!" that grabbed her attention, making her turn to the person with an incredulous look. "you're extremely easy going so you could at least stand one another and it's a lot of money!"

"lily, you think i'd marry black for the money? i barely know the guy!"

"then think of it as an opportunity to get to know one another!" she exclaimed loud of enough to get the pair shushed by the librarian. "i mean i personally would for that kind of money."

"then you marry him!"

"no that's weird, i'm in love with his best friend!" she argued in return, a disgusted look on her face. "plus i can't stand him, i could barely talk to him for an hour without lecturing him let alone plan a whole wedding with him."

"i'm not going to marry a stranger."

"he isn't. think of it this way, by the time you finish all the planning he'd be a friend to you," she said, "or you know, something more than friends," she teased with a soft smile.

"lily, a divorce takes at least six months to be finalized. that's half of a year of my life being spent with someone i have no romantic feelings for." she replied, trying to get her friend to understand her reasonings. "not to mention the amount of paperwork i'd have to go through."

the head girl huffed, admitting to herself that she had made good points. she spoke again, this time a lot softer, drawing her into her, "black really needs this."

"he's been living at the potter's after leaving home and if he does get this; he and his brother could get a flat where they'd finally be free from that terrible place," she said slowly, "well at least i think that's why he's planning on doing this. he never told me why exactly, just that he wanted to scam his family."

"i don't think he'd ever tell me the real reason as to why he wants to do this but he doesn't owe me the truth." it was clear that she cared for him, lily's heart was too big for her own good.

"fine, i'll think about it," she muttered, defeated.

lily gave her look, one of disapproval. "you've been saying that ever since you found out about the plan. you don't expect me to believe you when you say it now do you?"

"okay, well i promise that i'd think about it for real this time, is that good for you?"

"it's more than good." she smiled happily.

it was a week later and she had kept her promise to lily, thinking over every possible outcome of what could be the results on the marriage would be:

1. they get married, everything goes according to plan, they get divorce, she becomes a millionaire.

or 2. they get married, the promise of money was fake, she was stuck with him for the rest of her life.

or 3. they get married, everything goes according to plan, she catches feelings for him, she becomes a millionaire with the desire of a man she cannot have.

but maybe that was her dwelling on the negative, not everything is always bad. right?

right?

her eyes scanned the corridor, looking between the crowds of students who were making their way back to their common room after a day of lessons for a group of four rowdy boys. after spotting them, she held onto her bag's strap, ensuring that they won't move when she made her way through the bustling crowd.

with a call of his name, black turned; halting his step as he waited for her to catch up. his friends stood beside him with a curious look. "i thought i'd never see you again," he said with a smile, "you've been ignoring me like the plague."

"you are the plague," she retorted, "if i stayed close to you for long enough you're narcissism will rub off on me." sirius only chuckled, knowing that her comment was light hearted. he looked down at her, meeting eye to eye; silently prompting her to talk about why she decided to call after him. "i thought about it."

to that his grey eyes lit up with recognition, now awaiting the answer that she'd give him whether it be bad or good. "and i thought why not? a million galleons to babysit a gryffindor is an easy pay."

sirius grinned. "great."

"great," she repeated awkwardly, "although i'd have to talk to my parents about it first. i wouldn't want to deal with them if they found out i had eloped."

"it's a good thing i already talked to them then," he said, his smile getting wider when her face dropped. "you what?"

"i knew that you'd need your parents approval so i reached out to them," he spoke while he started leading the way towards the great hall, "they like me."

"black when did you talk to them?" she asked him urgently, why hadn't anyone from her family reached out to her about this? were they planning on leaving her in the dark?

"when i asked you to think about it."

"after you left for your common room i wrote them a letter, your mother agreed to meet me and we talked it through," he added easily, "i of course told her it was because i'm in love with you and wanted nothing more than for you to be mine —keeping the lie going, you know? she told me to talk about it with you but i already did, i just needed an answer from you."

"and now that i've got it. i just need our parents to finalize our betrothal." he finished his words, meeting her gaze.

she shook her head, not believing him. "how did you even find out where they live? i've never once told you where i live."

"i just told the owl to find mister or missus [l/name], it was a simple as that." there was an air of obviousness to his tone, as if she should've figured it out by now but he still answered her anyways. "now can we have dinner? i'm starving."

•••

the words about sirius black and [f/name]'s engagement spread fast. hell, it has barely been three days before a fourth year approached her, asking her if the rumors were true before they sobbed at her answers. their nightmares was coming true.

sirius black was no longer single.

the rumors were okay for the most part, for it was true yet it brought her nothing but an unsettling feeling when she heard her name being whispered in the hallways. even now, as she was sitting at her house's table; barely paying attention to her friend's playful banter did the gossip follow her.

"have you selected a date yet?" avril asked, buttering her toast while she looked at her friend. "yup, his mother wanted a summer wedding, august to be specific. pure-blood accustoms or something," she replied with mild interest, stirring her tea. avril frowned. "it's your wedding, shouldn't you be the one making the decisions?"

"you'd think so," she retorted, lifting her mug to her lips, "but his mum's a nasty witch." she took a sip of her tea before placing it back down on the table. "we met her this weekend where she told us her plans for our wedding."

"she also gave me the black family's engagement ring," she added, lifting her left hand up. on the ring finger laid a dainty silver band that resembled a serpent of sort with a green diamond on top. it was no where near the traditional muggle engagement ring but it was beautiful in its own way. "it's an heirloom and to be completely honest i'm scared wearing it. what if i turned into you know who or something?"

avril laughed good-naturedly, amused by the situation. "honestly, a million galleons would not be enough for me to get involved with the blacks."

"well i've already bought the ticket and there's no turning back now." she shrugged, dropping her eyes to the table. "plus, sirius is actually a decent person to keep around."

"really?" she asked testingly, chewing on her toast.

"really." she nodded. "we have astronomy together and he's incredibly useful. black knows everything about it since his family are named after them. i think he's growing on me." she added. "although every time i remember i'm technically his investment, i second guess that idea."

"what do you mean you second guess that idea?," cut in eric, a ravenclaw who was dragged into their small friend group by avril. "who wouldn't want to marry a man who calls you an investment."

she opened her mouth, a sarcastic remark at the tip of her tongue when the owls flew into the great hall in one large flock; instantly heading towards their respective owner. she hadn't expected any mails today, she was all caught up with the wedding plans along with the letters from her family. so imagine her surprise when one of the many owls soared down, perching on the table in front of her, waiting with a wrapped parcel between its feet.

her eyes raised to meet her friend's curious ones, all of them wondering what's within the wrappings and most importantly who it was from. she hesitated, unsure whether she should take the package from the owl. with a prod from eric, she reached out; untying the parcel from the owl.

the owl flew away immediately, retreating to the crowd of birds. it didn't take long for her to realize what it was, "flowers."

"they're flowers," she repeated, holding up the arrangements for her friend to see, "they're really pretty." she added, biting back a smile. helga, it felt good getting flowers.

"who's it from?" avril asked excitedly.

she looked down, there was card tied to the strings of the bouquet, "black."

"oh," eric muttered, "of course he did, he's your fiancé after all."

"yeah, but it's not why he got it for me," she said, staring down at the card, "it's a thank you gift for dealing with his mother." she giggled, she separated the card from the strings before handing it over to her friend, "here look."

i know my mother is a bitch, thank you for talking to her. you made her tolerable.

- sirius black

now if she remembered correctly, the gryffindor table was seated to her right. with that knowledge in mind, she turned; wanting to thank black for his gift only to find him —coincidentally, sitting with his back to her. she poked at his shoulder, trying to steal his attention from his friend.

he turned reluctantly, looking (maybe more than) a tad bit annoyed only for his eyes to soften when he realized it was her. it took him another second to realize what she was holding before he said, "i see you've got the flowers."

"i did." she smiled, an action that he quickly copied. "i also got your message."

"i knew you would."

of course he would. "right." there was an air of awkwardness that she couldn't quite explain. "well thank you for this, it's lovely sirius."

his smile widened. she wasn't sure why it widened but she was incredibly grateful for it. how could one person's smile be so breathtaking?

"it's no problem. i'm glad you like it my love."

•••

"good evening." an unexpected greeting came, making me her jump from her spot. she looked up from her bed, only to find the source of the voice smirking down at her in amusement. "did i surprise you darling?"

it was pretty evident that his sudden presence startled her. "of course you did dumbass. who even let you in here? i could've been naked!"

"but you aren't," he quipped smugly.

"i could've been!"

"and yet you aren't."

"you're impossible," she grumbled, "are you going to tell me how you got here or not?"

"how i got into your dorm?" he asked, still standing by her bed.

"where else?!" she replied, sitting up and shuffling her blankets away. despite her hostile tone, she made space for him to sit down, patting it slightly to indicate that he could sit if he wanted to. sirius gladly accepted the offer, making himself comfortable while he thought of an answer. "well?"

"i just told the first years i was your fiancé." he shrugged, his smirk still prominent. "they didn't even think to hesitate."

"of course they won't, you're you," she retorted, looking into his eyes. "are you going to tell me why you're here then?"

"what? i can't just come to see you because i missed you? you're my bride to be after all," he teased playfully, holding her gaze.

"no," she smiled unkindly at him, "you can not. now will you tell me why you're really here?"

"alright," he huffed, for a brief second she thought she saw his shoulders deflate, but he was quick to recover, asking her, "you know tomorrow is a hogsmeade weekend don't you?"

at her nod, he continued, "well i wanted you to meet my brother."

"regulus?" she asked dumbfoundedly, brows furrowing together. "why?"

"i uhm-" he stuttered, seeming embarrassed? that was unlike him. "-i wanted you two to approve of each other."

"hmm?" she hummed to signal that she was listening while also simultaneously prompting him to go on.

"i wanted regulus to meet you, and like you and i also wanted you to meet him —and like him." he explained, breaking eye contact to stare at his hand sheepishly. "i want my brother to like you since we're going to get married and all that."

"sirius," she started attentively, "he doesn't need to like me, our marriage is fake remember? it'll be over in a blink of an eye, i'm just trying to help you out."

"yeah, i know that," he said frustratingly. "still, he's my brother, he is important to me; and despite him already knowing that our marriage is a false one, i want the two of you to like each other."

she considered his words. eric will throw a tantrum when he finds out about this. "alright, what time shall we meet?"

•••

maybe running down the stairs of the entrance hall at full speed wasn't the best idea but she was late and sometimes being late justify being a menace to everyone surrounding her. sometimes.

if that sometimes is being late to meet your soon to be husband's brother of course, one that you desperately needed approval from. one who has been waiting for your arrival with his brother for —atleast 15 minutes now. she felt incredibly sorry for making them wait but honestly, it wasn't her fault her hair decided not to cooperate with her this morning.

she wanted to look her best for them, first impressions matter after all. what would it say about her if she should up with frizzy hair that stuck out in every direction possible.

"there you are!" sirius exclaimed, approaching her the moment he spotted her, "c'mon the carriage's leaving, let's not be late."

listening to his words, she did what she was told, following him and his brother into an empty carriage. "i'm so sorry for making you wait, i didn't mean to, i was getting ready and before i knew it i lost track of time-"

"it's okay," regulus cut in, his eyes scanning her every expression. "we weren't waiting that long," he added, trying to reassure her, "the carriage was already planning on leaving when we got there so we technically only waited mere minutes."

fuck, he's charming. "i'm regulus black, you must be [name]?"

"i am, it's nice to finally meet you." she smiled, offering him her hand. she should've expected it, really she should've, with him being from an aristocratic family and all but regulus lifting her hand to press a gentle kiss on it still stunned her. she cleared her throat, "sirius has told me quite a lot about you."

"he has? and here i thought he was ashamed of me." he arched an eyebrow, whether he was teasing her or being genuine she could not tell.

"how could he possibly be ashamed of you, he's not even ashamed of himself." at that regulus chuckled, his smile no different from sirius'.

sirius rolled his eyes, watching their playful interaction with a small satisfied smile on his face. "i'm glad that the both of you can bond over bullying me," he said as the carriage pulled to a stop, "it's good to know that both my brother and fiancée thinks so highly of me."

sirius got out first, helping her get down from the carriage as best as he could. the three of them made their way to the three broomsticks, wanting a comfortable place where they could sit and chat their heads off.

seeing the black brothers in their natural habitat was entertaining. they were similar in many ways, from the way they talk to the way they carried themself and yet they were so different. sirius preferred to talk and make outward jokes while regulus listened, mumbling sarcastic remarks that had you smiling to yourself at how cheeky it was.

sirius had a habit —she was quick to note— of glancing down at regulus' left arm, a worried look always took place when he did so but he was swift in changing his expression. replacing it with a neutral one whenever he caught himself doing so.

regulus was as great company as his brother, charming, and fascinating to a certain extent.

they spent a large majority of their time talking. all of different topics ranging from quidditch to their favorite subject until regulus dropped his eyes to the table where her hand laid, playing with a napkin. "i see mother gave you her ring?"

"yes, she did," she said, her ring finger suddenly feeling heavy, "it's beautiful."

"it doesn't look very you," sirius joined in, pointing out the obvious. "it's still beautiful sirius, it doesn't need to be very me." his brow furrowed, countering, "but that's not good enough, it's your engagement ring after all."

"in case you've forgotten, i'm marrying you for your money, as of right now i'm the definition of a gold digger," she reminded him with a small smile, "an engagement ring being very me is the least of my concerns."

at that sirius frowned, dropping the topic. regulus stifled a laugh, the corners of his lips curving upwards. "has mother took you dress shopping yet?" he then asked with interest.

"no," she answered, "my mother wanted me to pick a dress of my own, your mother didn't like that idea very much. long story short i have the freedom to pick out whichever dress i want."

regulus pursed his lips, thinking. "i'm glad to hear that. i know mother is exhausting to deal with, i hope you find exactly what you're looking for."

"thank you regulus." the door bell rang to signify someone's entrance, the said boy turned, spotting a girl standing by the door before turning back towards his brother; pink creeping onto his cheeks. "is that her?"

he nodded sheepishly. "we'll leave you to it then," she said, standing up from their booth; she grabbed onto sirius wrist, smirking down at him in hopes that he knew of her plan. sirius got the memo, holding onto her hand before briskly bidding his brother goodbye. "do you think they'll end up getting married to scam your family like us?"

sirius laughed as the pair left the inn, walking down the streets that were so fond of. "probably not. i don't think he has it in he."

"i didn't think i had it in me to marry someone for his money at 17 either but here i am," she replied sarcastically, looking up at him. it was then did she realized that they were holding hands, she hesitated; not sure whether to pull away or to keep holding onto him. his hand was warm, it felt nice.

sirius, as if he had read her mind decided to squeeze it reassuringly. "can i take you somewhere?"

"hmm?"

"there's a shop around the corner," he said, maintaining eye contact, "can i get you something from there?"

"oh sirius you don't need to get me anything-"

"i know i don't need to," he cut in softly, "i want to. so i can please take you there?"

she thought about it briefly, knowing full well that her answer would be yes because who was she to deny him anything. "what is it that you wanted to get me?"

sirius broke into a smile, turning to lead the way. "do you remember how i said that the ring wasn't very you?"

"the thing you said barely 10 minutes ago? yes i do."

"good," he muttered, turning the corner, his grip on her hand never once faltering, "because i want to get you want that actually does feel like you."

"sirius i already told you it doesn't matter, you've already bought me flowers and that's more than i could ask for."

sirius paused for a split second, pursing his lips. "look, if i don't get this for you then how would people know you're mine? that ring is no where good enough for you," he questioned, leading them into the store. he held the door open, smiling at the shop's clerk who was ecstatic to see a customer. "just think of this as my thank you for marrying me gift."

"i don't think that's real thing sirius," she said, stilling besides him as he looked at the different rings the employee had put on show.

"it doesn't need to be real if it's what is needed in order for me to spoil you," he muttered in return, his full focus on studying the different rings. finally he picked out one he thought best resembled her. sirius took off his mother's ring, placing it in his pocket and slipped the new ring on her finger. "what do you think?"

"i think it's beautiful."

"i can't really take that as an answer love, you also said that about dear mother's ring."

"fine, i think it's magnificent. i love it sirius." she smiled, eyes glancing between him and ring.

"it's perfect then," he muttered, taking it off and handing it to the clerk for it to be sized. "that will be  our engagement ring."

it was later on that night, with avril and eric passed out on her bed after discussing their outfit plans for her wedding did she opened up the box that contained the new ring.

she lifted it out, examining it when something caught her eyes. engraved into the back of the ring wrote: yours S.B

•••

avril loved throwing parties, she loved plying people with food and making sure they were enjoying their time, she loved gathering her friends round a circle to play silly games that captured the true essence of adolescent. avril loved everything that one could love about parties.

so when she told her friends that she wanted to throw one in the hufflepuff's common room it was in their nature to help out. it was sunday, dinner had just finished and the common room was empty, each person in their own respective dorms getting ready when eric and [name] made their journey out, heading towards the kitchens for as much snacks as they could gather.

facing the broad stone basement corridor, it brightly lit and decorated with food-themed paintings, she reached out to tickle the pear on the painting. the  pear giggled, turning itself into a large green door handle that revealed the entrance. she took the first step, entering the kitchens with eric behind her.

"what are you doing here?"

her eyes widened, not expecting anyone besides herself and eric to be in the kitchens at this time. "i could ask you the same thing sirius."

"i asked you first."

she turned, briefly looking at eric for help but her effort was to no avail, the ravenclaw was as at a loss for words as she was. "i'm here to grab some snacks, we're throwing a party and it would a pretty shitty one without any food."

"oh," he muttered, "no wonder you look so pretty."

"you're wearing the ring," sirius pointed out after minute, gesturing towards her finger. was all conversations between two people who would be married to one another always this strained?

"i am," she said, looking down towards the ring, "how could i not? you bought it for me."

there was the silence again; her, eric, sirius and his friends all awkwardly glancing at one another. "oh! uhm- eric this is sirius, my fiancé and sirius this is eric, my friend."

"nice to meet you," sirius smiled, offering him a hand. eric hesitated, eyes drifting towards to her direction, she tilted her head slightly, an action he took as cue to accept sirius hand.

eric shooked it, smiling in return when he spoke, "i know she's marrying you for your money." sirius smiled dropped, slightly taken aback when eric added, "i'm sure potter knows it too, doesn't he?"

in truth potter did know, sensing by the way his shoulder tensed up at the pretense of him knowing. eric had a weird way of wording things, making everything seems hostile when it wasn't supposed to be. helga, why does men have to make everything so hard?

"eric you can grab the cheesecake?" she asked, making their attention shift to her, "i need to have a word with sirius about the wedding, then i'll grab the punch and meet you back outside."

"i'll see you in a bit." after she waved her friend off, she grabbed onto sirius' arm, pulling him towards a secluded spot where his friends wouldn't be able to eavesdrop on their conversation. she looked at him hesitatingly, studying his expression before asking, "are you mad at me?"

sirius frowned, furrowing his brows in concern. "no," he answered, "why would i be mad at you?"

"i dunno." he was taller than her, having to look down in order for their eyes to meet. "i just thought that maybe eric had said something to upset you."

"he's a bit... straight forward, no subtlety whatsoever," she added, "also a little untrusting at first but he's very kind, he's a great guy." the way his gaze hardened at her words, turning from attentive to resentful didn't go unnoticed by her. is he sure he's not mad at her?

"i'm not mad at you," sirius said softly, consoling her, "nor am i mad at your friend."

"then why do you seem so uneasy? especially when you're with your friends? you're never like that."

sirius pursed his lips, thinking. "because," he started, a smile tugging on his lips, "you look very pretty, and i just happen to not know how to act around pretty people."

she scoffed, rolling her eyes despite feeling her cheeks flush at his words. "right, of course."

"love, i'm being serious!"

"of course you are you're sirius!"

"hey! i'm being truthful here," he argued, chuckling slightly, seeing her flustered over a compliment had to be his new favorite thing. "you look as pretty as a picture."

she smiled, brushing it off. "that's sweet of you to say." noting how his eyes was lingering onto her every movement. "but you're still not welcomed to the party."

sirius laughed, throwing his head back at the lame joke she made. his words was never meant to be anything more than praise, wanting her to know just how breathtaking he thought she looked. "that's a shame, i was looking forward to get a taste of that cheesecake."

"better luck next time," she said, biting her lips. "i think i should go now."

"i think so too," he replied after composing himself, still smiling down at her due to their height differences. "it's unfair to keep my darling away from them for too long."

she watched as he took a calculated step forward, bringing the front of their shoes to contact. staring up at him, she felt her breath get caught in her throat.

leaning down abruptly, sirius pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead; her eyes fluttering shut at the warm contact. he stepped back then, he smiled once more, "invite me next time, won't you?"

•••

next time came in the form of a gryffindor party instead. it was james potter's birthday and it would be an understatement to say that the marauders went all out. despite the party being a "secret", the room of requirement was packed with students from every house that is cool enough to join an inter-house party.

upon arrival she was quick to spot regulus, introducing him to avril and eric who he both charmed his ways with them. eric and regulus, both cut-throat people bonded easily, making good natured jokes about how big of a mistake it was that she chose to marry sirius. eventually the slytherin led them to the life of the party.

"[name]!" james cheered excitedly, walking towards her with open arms, his face flushed. she returned his hug, turning towards his friend with a confused look only to receive chuckles from them. pulling away james grinned at her, slurring "i'm so happy you're here!"

right, he's drunk. "and i'm so happy to be here james," she replied, making him his smile stretch out even wider. "although i'm not too late am i? it seems like i missed out on the fun."

"oh no don't worry," lily shook her head, answering for him, "he just wanted to be that shit faced drunk person of every party."

"ah," she nodded in acknowledgment. "oh, uhm- i hope you don't mind, i brought some friends?"

"no it's okay, the more the merrier," lily smiled kindly, taking one look at them before noting, "eric from potions and avril from care of magical creatures."

"weird way to identify me but i've been called worse," avril said light-heartedly, earning smiles from their small group. "now, would you be kind enough to show me where the booze is?"

"it's just right around the corner, i can get some for you actually," lily offered, being the good host that she is, "[name], peter, would you mind helping me?"

"oh," she muttered not expecting herself to be mentioned. "no i don't," she smiled, taking the hand that lily offered and following off behind her.

"so," avril started, turning to sirius, "she looks great doesn't she?"

sirius nodded, not thinking much about his actions. she really did look beautiful tonight, although —if he really thought about it— there wasn't a day where he didn't think she wasn't good-looking.

"you like her don't you?"

remus, with his curiosity now piqued, dropped his head, leaning down to hear their conversation over the loud music. regulus doing the same, finding the topic of his brother's real love-life intriguing. "yeah pads," remus started tauntingly, "you fancy her don't you?"

"i hate you did you know that?"

"avoidance is not an answer black," eric commented with a small smirk, "if you fancy her just say it."

"i don't," sirius stated, his tone now on edge, "i mean it, i only care for her as a friend and nothing more."

it was the truth, as of right now he thought of her as a friend that just had some extra steps to it. she was kind and pretty but so was lily and regulus' new girlfriend but that didn't mean he was attracted to them. really, whether they want to believe it or not, sirius could be friends with a woman and not be in love with them.

"are you sure princess?" eric added, provoking him. sirius rolled his eyes, now used to the (for the lack of better words) asshole demeanor that eric had. "alright, i'll leave you to it," he said with a condescending smile, "but just so you know, [name] is the shit faced drunk at every party."

"and potter does not stand a chance at taking that position from her."

"speaking of the devil," avril murmured, breaking apart from their small group to welcome the two girls with open arms, refusing the spiked punch that lily offered for a shot of firewhisky that she immediately downed when her friend handed it to her. "you know me so well."

"i'm really the best aren't i?" she joked, turning towards sirius; she smiled up at him, an action that he copied and handed him a shot of firewhisky as well. sirius shook his head, opting on a butterbeer that peter handed him. "you're not drinking?"

"i'm not," he replied, taking a sip that resulted in foam being stuck on his upper lip. she frowned, disappointed, "why not? it's your best mate's birthday!" sirius only stuck with his decision, deciding to stay sober so he could take care of james whilst lily had her fun. "don't worry darling, i know how to have fun without getting drunk."

"what a shame, i brought these with me for nothing," she said, staring down at the three shot cups between her finger, "well i better not waste it then."

and with that she downed one, grimacing at the taste right after. she held another shot for remus who took it with a polite smile; the pair cheered, drinking the shots, for the party has officially started.

"pads," came james, pouting, "mate my throats dry," he complained, eyes going heavy. "will you be so kind to grab me a cup of water?"

from the corner of his eyes sirius spied lily talking to some of her friends, seeming just the slightest bit under the influence. "sod off prongs, go find your girlfriend."

at the other side of the room was [name]. the alcohol had hit her about an hour after her initial shots, drunkenly laughing at every joke that remus made as the two of them found themselves to be partners in drunken crime. remus chuckled, throwing his head back with a punch still in his hand, she sat besides him, listening to the story he was telling with a small smile.

"honestly, at one point during fourth year i had considered starting a hogwarts protection group from those two maniacs," the brunette said, incredulous by how stupid his fourteen year olds idea was. "i was part of the pranks too but still."

she only snorted, finding everything funny in her current inebriated state. as she opened her mouth, ready to tell him a funny story of her own sirius approached, a cup of water in hands. "hullo dear husband."

"hello," he greeted in return, handing her the cup of water, "i think you've had enough my love," he said patiently, ignoring the cringed looks that remus was sending him. "drink this so you won't feel so hung over tomorrow morning."

"sirius if i can handle getting married to you then i can handle being hung over on a tuesday." despite her comment, she drank the water anyways. alcohol sure does make your throat dry out. "you know you don't look like you're having too much fun."

"i don't?"

"you don't," she said, getting onto her feet to face him eye to eye. she placed a hand on his shoulder to steady herself, looking at him with an intoxicated gaze. pulling her hand away, she exclaimed enthusiastically, "anyways, me and remus are going to dance, have fun being sober!"

and with that she left, hand pulling at remus so the lanky boy would follow after her. sirius' eyes trailed after them, noting how they both were bad dancers and yet did not seem to be stopping anytime soon. it wasn't long until eric, tipsy enough to be nice to anyone other than avril and [name], dragged sirius onto the dance floor as well.

she found her way to him, smiling as she moved badly to the beat. she said something that she couldn't quite hear; sirius leaned down, his ear close to her mouth, ensuring that he could hear her over the loud music. with a drunken giggle, she told him, "you're so handsome."

he pulled back to his full height, looking at her with amusement. "thank you chérie, 'preciate it."

•••

"do you still think i'm handsome?"

"shut up," she scowled, ignoring the delighted look that sirius had from eliciting such response. "i don't want to deal with you right now."

"why not? you thought i was handsome last night and now you suddenly despise me?" he teased quietly, not wanting to distract other people with their conversation.

"sirius i'm too hungover for this right now," she said, trying to keep her eyes straight at the board. oh how she missed the days where avril was sat beside her. "and if you say something along the line of i told you so, i will hex you into oblivion."

sirius bit his lips, holding back his tongue from stating that he did warn her about this. instead he commented, "you know i think i like you a lot better when you're drunk."

"and i like you better when you don't speak but we both can't have what we want now can we?"

"actually," sirius said matter-of-factly, "i've already gotten what i wanted."

"and what's that?"

"you."

"not the drunk you but having you is good enough for me," he clarified, "but i can always count on avril to bring out my favorite version of you-"

sirius continued to talk, but no sounds came out. don't you just love the silencio charm? she patted his thigh, causing him to pause in order to look at her. she smiled at him kindly, her expression the direct opposite of her next words. "you are so annoying right now."

•••

"your mother picks the worst time for us to meet her," she said, not once bothering to greet him. maybe he was rubbing off on her. "i mean seriously, couldn't she have planned to see the venue on a hogsmeade weekend."

she closed the hufflepuff's door behind her, walking to his side. sirius shifted his weight off of the pillar he was waiting for her at and started leading the way, "i've just had a long day of school and now i have to be nice to her. no offense boys, but i hate your mother."

regulus let out a small laugh, smiling at her words. "no offense taken [name], we hate her too."

"good," she said cheekily, "i'm glad we have that in common."

they made their way up to the great hall, then up again towards their usual passage beneath the one-eyed witch statue by the stairs. sirius tapped the hump with his wand, muttering a quiet dissendium. the witch's hump open just wide enough for a person to slide down to the hidden passageway.

sirius went through first, pushing his way up into honey duke, regulus followed soon after, leaving her last. with help from sirius, she climbed up the ladder, shutting the trap door below her.

sirius helped her make her way out of honey dukes and into the streets of hogsmeade. after reaching their destination, a spot that allowed for them to apparate, he let go off her hand, knowing that she (like him) was legal and could apparate on their own while regulus on the other hand. their unofficial adopted child, could not.

regulus, now used to being babied whenever he traveled with the couple made his way between them, letting sirius throw his arm around his shoulder while [name] slipped her arm around his waist. with a flick of both their wands, their small group landed in a secluded alley way where their wedding venue would be held.

the pair let go off him, heading towards one another and —as of muscle memory— interlocked their fingers, holding hands like they always did when they were to fake their relationship. the three walked, pushing pass the grand door and quickly spotting both walburga and her mother.

it was the second week of june, the finals had passed,  their NEWTs were completed. it was two weeks before the school year ended and roughly two months away from their wedding. it would be a lie if she said she wasn't nervous, she was, of course she was. marriage was a scary thing —especially when you're marrying into a family with old money who also simultaneously praises dark magic.

"mother," sirius said with a small bow, greeting her as politely as he could. "and missus [l/name], you look as gorgeous as ever."

her mother smiled, dismissing his compliment with a wave of her hand. "no need to flatter me, i've already approved of you sirius."

he smiled, feeling proud of himself for some reason he couldn't pin point. walburga coughed, causing the other four people to turn to her, giving them her full attention. by her side stood a short women with short blond hair, "shall we get started?"

the five followed her through a path that she had prepared, using magic to help visualize the venue the way both mothers wanted it. there was a hall that led into the main ballroom, its ceiling high with fancy chandeliers. her mum who had wanted a more natured feel to their wedding, asked if the person who was showing the venue, andria, could incorporate plants to the walls.

andria followed through her request, and within a flick of her wand the walls were lined up with vines, the ground spilling with purple flowers that made a satisfied smile find its way onto her mother's lips. andria then added a gate for a dramatic flair, making the hall seemed ethereal in its own way.

"this is nice," sirius murmured just loud enough for her to hear. she turned her eyes away from the various plants to him, finding him already looking back at her. "it is."

they then moved towards the ballroom, with it already being set up due to walburga's perfectionist personality; the couple stood in awe. this would've been the wedding of their dreams had they been actually in love.

looking down the isle, she found herself drifting off for a second, imagining her friends waiting by her side while her husband stood happily by his. softly she muttered, knowing that sirius could hear her despite how quiet her words was, "do you think you could cry when i walk down that isle?"

sirius watched her, considering her words for a moment, "do you want me to?"

"yeah..." she trailed off, tearing her eyes away from the isle to look at him. "i mean i bought a beautiful dress so you better cry, if not then i might just have to cancel the wedding right then and there."

sirius let out a small laugh, finding her request incredulous. "okay, i'll try then."

"thank you."

"it's no problem, i'll try anything for you."

•••

the school year ended, the pair passing the NEWTs with flying colors and now the only thing they had to worry about was the wedding.

during the first week after their graduation sirius had invited her to stay at his place, an offer that she was quick to decline. her mother was a pain to deal with on a monthly basis already, let alone having to live with her for as long as it took until their wedding came.

instead she agreed to come by his place, keep him company all the whilst plan out the final details of the wedding. after coming over for half of july she had grown quite used to his spacious room, with its many plastered posters and pictures that left only little of the walls' silvery-grey silk visible.

now she sat, kicked back on his bed while sirius stood ranting, filling her in on everything his mother had said when she was absent. she thought of anything and everything she could say to reassure him. after a while she stopped him, patting the empty spot besides her for him to take.

for a moment she remembered just how close they were now, not even a year ago she was denying him a seat at her table and now she sat comfortably on his bed as if it was of her own. "do you want me to fight her for you?"

"what?" sirius cracked out a smile.

"she's you know- she's the most unloving, conservative woman i've ever met," she confessed, "but i suppose being married to your cousin does that to you."

sirius chuckled, feeling slightly better by listening to her shit talk his mother. god he hated that woman. "[name], you're absolutely amazing but her being inbred was so unnecessary to bring up."

"like you have a say in this sirius." she gave him a look that he knew was her ridiculing him, causing him to grin. "you're a product of their work."

sirius cringed, feeling disgusted by her insinuation. he then cleared his throat, remembering why he had invited her over in the first place. turning serious, he said carefully, "there's something i've been wanting to ask you."

"what is it?" she prompted him, letting him know that she was listening and for him continue on with his words.

"can i kiss you?"

and before sirius knew it, he was rambling, "for when they announce us as man and wife i just- i wanted to know if you were okay with it before it's time and i kiss you without you being fine with it, i don't want to make you uncomfortable, you've already done so much for me-"

"you can." she cut him off with a small smile, one that brought him nothing but comfort. "it's okay sirius, you can kiss me."

"thank you for asking," she added after a minute.

sirius gazed at her, a small smile breaking onto his face. his eyes glancing down to her lips then back up to her eyes. he knew that she was watching him, watching how his eyes were lingering onto her lips like a tattoo kiss.

there was a cough by the door, making them both turn their attention to it. regulus stood awkwardly, shifting his weight; with his eyes wide, he spoke, "mother sent me."

"she wanted me to make sure that you guys weren't-" regulus let out another cough "-having sex."

•••

august seventh came sooner than she would've liked, maybe it was for the better, having it be over sooner. or maybe it was for the worse, not having been ready to see herself settle down yet. but she knew —despite her doubts— that the show must go on. keeping an even head she breathe in, feeling the air in her lungs before letting it go. it was time.

"are you ready?" eric asked, helping make last adjustments to her wedding dress. "no." she huffed honestly, hearing the orchestra music begin even behind the large door. eric smiled softly at her, letting her father come to her side, "well it's too late now."

she took a deep breath, the doors opening on its on accord in a dramatic manner. charmed rose petals pelted at her feet as she took her steps forward. she  took a moment to look around at who was gathered, and where, but she barely recognized them. a large majority of the people were ones who came to honor the noble house of black name's while the other half were distant family and friends that her mother had invited.

down the isle sirius stood, james, regulus, remus, and peter by his side. watching her walk with clouded eyes, she beamed at him, playing with the bouquet in her hands. when she arrived in front of him she noticed his watery grey eyes. as quietly as she could, she commented, "you're crying."

"i am," he said, agreeing. "i told you i'd try anything for you."

the music cut out, the ceremony was starting. the pair shared cheeky smiles as they listened to the officiant drone on and on, following the normal wedding procedures until it was time for them to recite their vows.

"with this hand i will lift your sorrows. your cup will never be empty, for i will be your wine. with this candle, i will light your way into darkness. with this ring, i ask you to be mine."

sirius slipped a golden band around her finger first, her repeating his actions not long after. sirius stepped forward, his shoes touching her's. leaning down slightly, he pressed his lips onto her, his right arm finding its way on her waist and tugging her ever closer to him.

his cheeks were wet, presumably from the tears he had had. she kissed back, melting underneath his touch. sirius smiles into the kiss, a feeling that she knew she'd never forget. the kiss breaks: her pulling away from him, feeling flustered. and then it was official, they were married, this was just the beginning of the end.

•••

"where should we go for our honeymoon?" she asked suddenly, surprising sirius. they were once again in his room, this time alone, the door close with no regulus standing by to make sure they weren't up to something. "since we're married and all now, i think i deserve a break."

sirius thought for a second, laying down on the cold hard wood floor, a place that he somehow had found solace in. "we have a home in paris if you want to go."

"paris sounds nice," she mumbled. her gown was still on her, having come to his room immediately after the recessionals. she was to live with him now, husband and wife after all. staying with sirius, in his room, alone, for roughly a month, won't be so bad. will it?

"it does," he concurred, "do you want to go?"

"maybe," she said, unsure. "gosh this is awkward."

"what's awkward?" he asked, looking puzzled. from his position on the floor, his eyes searched for her. finding her on his bed, sat with her knees pressed to her chest, looking down at him.

"us right now." she answered, straightening out her legs. he frowned then, even more confused. "the people who attended probably thinks we're going at it right now but we're sat here talking about paris."

"we can go at it if you want," sirius said, sitting up. at the roll of her eyes, he smirked, "i'm not denying you anything, it seems as though i can not."

she threw a pillow at him, one that he expertly caught with one hand. she felt her neck heating up, whether it was from the drinks she had or his words she could not tell. "you're insufferable you know that?"

"i'm anything you want me to be my love."

"stop it or i'll punch you in the throat," she warned. watching as he stood up from his spot and made his way to the empty side of the bed, sirius laid down, inching himself closer to her every second. "are you... trying to seduce me right now?"

"maybe," he murmured, finally landing his head on her thighs, the tool of her dress providing him a sense of cushion. "is it working?"

"no," she answered, giving him a smile that was meant to ridicule him but all it did was make his smirk grow more narcissistic.

"why did you never join the quidditch team?" her hand found it's way into his hair, twisting round the onyx curls. "you were really good at it you know? i saw you sub in during james' practices."

sirius shut his eyes, leaning into her touch when her hand landed on his scalp, scratching it lightly. "i didn't want to compete."

"with who?"

"regulus," he answered softly, "we weren't on good terms when he joined the team and i could not bring myself to handle seeing him. especially not during a time where we were to compete for who would be greater."

"oh." her hands paused its movements on its own accord. "i never thought of it like that."

she thought about him?

"well i also never thought of us going at it until you mentioned it minutes ago," he retorted, earning himself a slap on the arm. good godric, he loved drunk [name]. "the offers still stands you know?"

"baby i wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth."

sirius cheeks grew pink at her choice of nickname, never once in their roughly eight months long relationship had she called him anything but sirius or black. she noticed it, smiling when she leaned down to face him. "you like being called baby don't you?"

and —for the first and last time ever, sirius told her to, "shut up."

•••

"the man has mummy issues, of course he likes being called baby," eric scoffed. avril laughed, joking at the expense of her friend's husband. "i wouldn't be surprised if he lets you boss him around in bed."

"alright that's enough," she stopped him, hiding a smile. "my lack of sex life should not be the topic of today's conversation. lily here is literally getting married."

"no, no," lily protested, dismissing the topic change, "i'm more fascinated about you and sirius than james' proposal to me."

"seriously?" she asked incredulously, her eyes moving to everyone around the table for at least one person to be on her side. "i feel like i've said this way too much but in case you've forgotten, i married sirius for his money, i don't like him that way and vice versa. me and sirius haven't slept together."

"but you want to," marlene pointed out, taking a sip of her wine. helga, how did a dinner celebrating lily's engagement turn into them trying to prove that she was in love with her husband. "i can see it in your eyes."

she sigh, defeated. they weren't going to believe her words so what's the point in trying to deny it any longer. lily, seeing her expression shifted the topic, telling them about how she had already made an appointment for herself to go dress shopping and that all the ladies were invited.

the rest of dinner went on smoothly, all of them catching up with one another. spending the night switching from topics to topics, eric's love life didn't escape their conversation, being the only man in the group and all. the former ravenclaw boy had found someone who was kind to him, and from his description, the complete opposite of him but then again, they do say opposite attracts.

after bidding goodbyes, they went on their separate ways. after walking to an empty alley way with avril, she hugged her goodbye before flicking her wand, apparating herself back into sirius' room.

sirius who heard the unmistakable crack, sat up straight, wiping his eyes with his sleeves just as she noticed him hunched over on their bed. her faced turn to one of concern, standing in front of him, cautiously she asked, "what's wrong?"

"nothing," sirius answered, smiling up at her.

she frowned, taking a seat besides him. "not to be a dick but you're a terrible liar."

sirius laughed watery, wiping his nose with his sleeve. "it's just walburga, you know?"

"she did something again?" she asked, clearly not surprised by the news.

at his nod she carefully wrapped her sirius in her embrace. it was weird, hugging him, the most they've ever done was kissed and that was under the pretense of marriage. she's seen him angry, sad, frustrated, and disappointed over walburga but had never once seen him crying. she did not know how to comfort him but she sure as hell will try.

"do you want to talk about it?" she felt his head shook, feeling his tears dampening up her shirt. instinctively, she leaned down, pressing a kiss on the crown of his head. her voice was soft, whispering reassuring words in an attempt to calm him down. 

his breathe steadied enough for him to speak, sirius lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her with embarrassment. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay," she said lightly, "it's what having a wife is for right?"

there was a small smile on his lips, feeling relieved to have her presence besides him. with a small laughed, he repeated, "i'm sorry you had to see that."

giggling slightly, feeling better about how the mood having been slightly lifted, she quipped, "i don't mind it, seeing a handsome guy cry had always been in my bucket list."

sirius paused, eyes bloodshot red, "you think i'm handsome?"

"are you still sad?" she asked slowly.

"yes?"

"i always thought you were," she answered, watching him lower his eyes awkwardly, a small smile finding its way to his lips.

"what if i said no?" he questioned timidly, his voice coarse.

"the i would've lied and said you're the most mediocre looking man i've ever seen."

•••

"you and sirius looks like a couple," regulus mumbled, pushing his brother's leg over to make room on the couch.

she turned to him, the heat of sirius' hand around her waist getting warmer and warmer as she thought about her brother's in law comment. "what kind of couple?"

sirius kept quiet for a moment, gazing at her seductively.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?" he said innocently, giving her his best doe eyes.

"like you're flirting with me."

"i'm flirting?" he muttered as if it was new information to him, "flirting with you?" he added, squeezing her waist, his thumb sneaking beneath her sweatshirt, pressing onto her skin. "please don't get me wrong."

"so you're not flirting with [name] right now?" lily asked from her spot on the arm chair, green eyes watching his hands placements.

"maybe i am, maybe i'm not. we're married after all, i need to keep sweeping my darling off of her feet or else she'll fall for someone else," he said smoothly, smirking at lily who then rolled her eyes at him.

over the course of the first month of their marriage, sirius had managed to open his own vault, transfer all his parents trust fund money, found a flat that deemed fit for him and his brother and found a lawyer to begin their divorce's process.

maybe it was all moving too fast but the whole situation had never been taken slowly in the first place. he had asked for her to move in with him and regulus, an offer that she didn't clearly thought through and had accepted. with the help of magic, moving was done within two days which james ended up calling for a celebration. a house party where everyone within their circle was to be invited.

"you shouldn't flirt with people that easily," she commented, stealing his attention back to her.

"and you shouldn't fall for people who flirts with you," he countered, keeping his eyes on her.

"well i didn't! i don't fall for people easily."

"you were just telling me not to flirt with you because you fell head over heels by my beauty when you saw me," he said smiling accusingly, his thumb drawing circles on her skin.

"i didn't tell you not to flirt with me."

"then what did you say?"

"don't flirt with people so easily."

sirius hummed in thoughts, his hand not once stopping it's movement. "so i can flirt with you but not other people. sounds pretty controlling." she looked at him warily, awaiting his next comments. "good thing i like a woman in charge."

"you're ridiculous," she scoffed. eric, who was sat on the floor opposing her, smirked, giving a look that she knew all too well. i was right. pushing herself up and off the couch, she gave him sirius one last look. "i'm filing for a divorce."

•••

the months went by fast, before they even knew it they were halfway through their divorce trial. sirius had filed a no-fault divorce, giving them both equal amounts of legal property. he had served her, and initiated the negotiation process. it seemed as if he was rushing to get rid of her and it would be a plain out lie if she said it didn't hurt her feelings.

"hey," sirius greeted, spotting her read on the couch the moment he entered their flat. "i got you something."

she lifted her head from her book, giving him a questioning look. an expression that sirius took as cue for him to continue.

he shrugged his jacket off, hanging it by the coat stand and dropping his keys in its pocket. he lifted the item in his hand, and made his way to sit besides her. she bookmarked her page, shutting it and giving him her full attention. "what is it?"

sirius only kept quiet, handing it to her, "open it."

she did as she was told, slowly unwrapping the package to reveal a small cake with the words happy anniversary written on it. she looked up him with surprise, smiling. "what is it for?"

"for our anniversary!" he exclaimed, pointing out the obvious.

"sirius our wedding anniversary isn't for another ten months."

"not that anniversary." he shook his head. "it's the anniversary of me sitting besides you despite you saying no."

"you remember that?" she asked with a small laugh.

"of course i remember!" he exclaimed, running a hand through his overgrown hair, "i was so nervous to talk to you."

"you were nervous to talk to me?" she followed up, settling the cake on their coffee table. "why?"

"because i thought you were cool, and i didn't know what to do since i had already asked evans for her help with the whole plan thing and i still hadn't talked to you nor was i certain you'd agree."

"you thought i was cool? and here i thought i was the only girl you were willing to invest in," she teased earning a pout from sirius. "fine fine i won't hurt your feelings today, thank you for this, sirius. i will definitely owl regulus and make fun of you about it later."

sirius lips jutted out even more, giving her his best doe eyes. "i feel like you love regulus more than you love me."

"how could i ever love regulus more than i love you," she said sarcastically. sirius faced turned to one that she could not read. curiously she asked, "what? is there something on my face?"

"no, nothing," he dismissed, still gazing at her.

"than what is it?"

"you said you can never love regulus more than you love me," he said slowly, his own grey eyes drifting between her lips and her eyes. she nodded cautiously, not wanting to overstep him. "prove it then."

"p-prove it?"

"prove it."

"prove what exactly," she said with a short lasting laugh, trying to take some of the tension off of herself.

"prove that you love me more than regulus."

she laughed, thinking that it was another one of his joke that she never fully understood but sirius remained —well, serious, keeping his eyes on her.

sirius was slow with his next action, giving her an out if she wanted it. he made sure to watch for her most minuscule movements, the last thing he wanted to do was mess this up and make her uncomfortable. sirius very casually —even though he felt as though his heart was to explode any second, leaned his head down, capturing her lips with his own.

why did he spent so long denying it when it felt so good to have her by his side he would never know. what he knew was that he liked the feel of her, liked that she was kissing him back, liked that she had seen the worst of him (and his sick family) and chose to stay, like that she was —in the most dysfunctional way possible— his.

when sirius pulled away, the first thing he noticed was how her eyes widened with fascination, which only made him fall deeper into the hole he dug for himself. "was that weird?"

she laughed, snapping out of her trance and shook her head. her hands moving on its own accord when the found its way to his cheeks, feeling weak after the chaste kiss. "no, no, it was fine. amazing even."

sirius smiled in return, feeling relieved that she seemed nowhere near mad at him. "it was okay then?"

"it was more than okay sirius," she reassured him, bringing his face forwards and pressing a kiss to his forehead before she even registered her gesture. sirius turned to the side, hiding his blushing face in her palm but his red ears was no help to his case.

sirius own hand reached up, covering her hand with his and pulled it away from his face. "we should call our lawyers."

"we should. they're not going to like this."

—from bee: i no longer support the artist i’ve chosen to name this fic after but that doesn’t change a thing,,, i still have a song for it hehe

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x yn #sirius black x you #sirius black fluff #sirius black angst #sirius black fanfiction #sirius x reader #sirius x you #marauders x reader #marauders x you #Spotify #🧳: my writing

[art-of-ket]

Questions

Miguel O'Hara is acting odd when you go to speak with him about the nature of the Web of Life and Destiny and having a future despite his past.

This is my first time publishing a fic here so I hope y'all like it :) leave me some critiques and comments!

GN reader, SFW, minor acts of aggression, so much angst

______

"Mr. O'Hara?"

You walked cautiously into his office as if on tightrope, ready to leave as quickly as possible if necessary.

"What is it?" 

The room was unusually dark, orange glow from the screens high up the only indicator of his existence. He muttered something to Lyla and she appeared in front of you, materializing from your watch. She whispered to you conspiratorially. 

"He's in a mood again, y/n."

"I heard that." He echoed.

"I'll leave you two to it." She winked and fizzled out of vision.

You stood for a moment, watching the arch of his back sway as he worked. Should you wait?

"You can come up here…" You complied and shot some web to the platform, landing quietly behind him. "I'm still in the middle of something but I need a break anyways." 

He shifted to face you. His eyes had darker than usual lines under them. 

You had visited him alone a few times before, and each time he treated you much friendlier than expected. Whenever you were in a group meeting, he was always brash and sometimes aggressive. Much unlike now. He was quiet and patient for you. Maybe it was like that for some of the others when they met him privately. You hadn't asked around. But you were still curious.

"I was wondering if you had time to talk for a bit?" 

"Sure." He folded his arms and leaned back.

"Well… I've been thinking about the multiple dimensions and canon."

"You wouldn't be the only one. What about it?"

"If we have to follow our stories out in our own worlds, what does that mean for here? I'm sure it wasn't planned out that we'd all meet."

He stayed silent.

"So do those same rules apply here?"

His eyes flicked back to you.

"What do you- of course they still apply."

"So it's just canon for all of us to be in your dimension?"

"Probably not originally. But the Great Web was spun that way."

"Just like it was spun to punish you?"

He looked at you incredulously. 

"You don't know what I did."

"I know enough that it isn't fair that you're trying to clean this all up by yourself."

"I'm not doing this alone."

"Then stop acting like it." You said it so quick you let out a gasp as if it got past against your will. Which it kind of had. You never spoke to him like that. You met his gaze with wide eyes.

"Okay then." He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tell me, y/n, what do you want me to act like? You want me to be ignorant to the possibilities of all our dimensions' destruction?"

"No, I…"

"Cause I've already seen worlds ripped apart, children… children screaming, people dying. I can't let it keep happening." His tone raised and hitched painfully.

You took in a breath.

"And what happens once you fix it? Are you just going to wait patiently for the next accident and not make a new life for yourself?"

"I already found a life for myself and it didn't work. I don't deserve another chance." He turned away from you and gripped the desk so hard you swore the metal creaked.

"And who decides that?" You took a step towards him.

His shoulders hunched, head dipped, quivering with frustration.

"Miguel…"

He moved so fast you had blinked and found claws hovering at your eye line. You looked at his face, not even scared enough to have flinched, and saw red staring back at you. Words hung from your parted lips. He had almost attacked you. So why had he stopped?

He huffed and swung his arm back at the desk. He slumped in defeat, keeping his claws stuck in the metal.

"You should leave." 

But you didn't. For the same reason he hadn't hurt you. Instead, you lowered a hand to his broad shoulder. 

"We still have choices to make. No matter what the web says." Your breath shook at the end. He didn't move. You stood in silence for a while. With no response, and having made your point, you decided to leave. Before your hand could pull away, he grabbed your wrist. 

"How? Why are you like this? Even after seeing the darkest sides of humanity… you still show kindness. What's wrong with you?" He looked up only enough for you to see his eyes were back to an orange hue. You met his gaze steadily.

"If I don't, who will?" You sadly chuckled. "Afterall, it's all part of being a spider-person, y'know? Staying strong, getting back up when no one else can…"

You couldn't know how much he wanted to say sorry. There's no way he'd be able to put into words how deep his regret had changed him. So he deflected.

"You called me Miguel this time, y/n." He reluctantly let go of your wrist.

"Oh. Oh! I uh… didn't overstep any formalities… I'm sor-"

"It's okay. You can call me Miguel." He stood and pulled his fingers from the desk and tried to brush the shredded metal off. That was unsuccessful, so he just tilted his hips to cover it from your sight. "I'll uh, have to tell Lyla to get someone to fix that…" He stared at you, feeling like a fool. 

"I wish I could help you with that." You rubbed your arm, pulling at the suit.

"You already have helped." He caught himself when you stared back. "I mean with the other stuff. You are helpful. I'm mumbling." He rubbed the back of his hair and let out a sigh. "I'm so so sorry…" 

"I know." 

Words hung in the air and the bizarre nature of your visit shook your inhibitions.

"So you uh, talk with everyone else in private this way?" You chuckled.

His eyes grew wide.

"What way?" Before you could say anything. "No of course I do, yeah…" 

"No?"

"Did I say no? I don't think I said no…"

"You did."

"Well I don't let just anyone get away with the stuff you pulled, that's for sure." He smirked and instantly regretted it.

"Oh."

"I mean. Ugh. Just don't mention that to anyone. I'm not going soft."

"Oh of course not…"

You looked at the floor smiling in thought. He hadn't really given you the answers you wanted after all. 

"Why did you ask about what I'd do after all this is done?" That threw you off.

"Well uh someone's got to ask you… make sure you have someone to look forward to."

"Someone?" Your face flushed.

"Something! I meant something!" He raised an eyebrow. 

"Well I'm open to suggestions then, I suppose. Who… I mean, what, should I look forward to?" He teased.

"It could be someone you look forward to spending time with. Or just any kind of thing at all really." You backed up towards the edge of the platform. You were digging your grave with each word. "Uh, I should go now…" 

"I look forward to talking with you again then, y/n… hopefully with less of me making a fool of myself." You squeaked at his tone and facial expression. 

"Yeah, uh, of course!" He was teasing but also… was he flirting with you, or was he just so hot that it made everything he said with a smile sound flirty? You couldn't manage an answer, so you quickly turned and fled from that awkward interaction. He watched as you ran from the room.

"Lyla."

"What was that about? Did you really need to ruin another desk?"

"Lyla, focus, does y/n have feelings for me?" 

She just laughed.

#across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara x reader #gn reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #spiderman 2099 x you #miguel o'hara x y/n

[awlumii]

rain check.

# — pairing: (spidey!)kazuha x gn!reader

# — characters: gender neutral reader, kazuha

# — warnings: n/a

# — summary: "i'm late, i'm late! for a very important date! no time to say 'hello, goodbye,' i'm late, i'm late, i'm late!" — white rabbit, alice in wonderland

# — tags: spidey!kazuha au, fluff, brief angst, making up, getting together, there's kisses involved, reader's also a simp (lol)

# — notes: [stands awkwardly in the corner] heyy... i tried my hand at the au again... as always, reblogs and reactions are greatly appreciated, and i really hope you enjoy this!

wanna join the tag list?

✧ — 🍁 + 🕷 — ✧

the meeting time was 7:30 pm originally.

7:45 pm. the waitstaff asked you if you wanted to order anything. you politely declined and informed them that you'd order when your date arrived.

8:15 pm. you texted kazuha and got no response. you eventually grew impatient and reluctantly ordered food for yourself. your face burned at the looks of pity you received from the employees.

8:45 pm. you still didn't get a response from kazuha. you tried not to text him too frequently in fear of sounding clingy or belligerent, but after an hour or so of radio silence, you couldn't help but triple (or even quadruple) text him.

9:00 pm. you check your phone. still no response from kazuha.

9:15 pm. you figured that dessert wouldn't hurt, but it was hard to stomach what with the waitstaff watching you from afar. if you strained your ears, you could hear them whispering something about a customer being stood up and having to eat alone.

9:30 pm. you didn't eat the dessert.

9:45 pm. you asked for the check. they refused to give you one. they gave you their pity instead.

10:00 pm. you left.

10:05 pm. five minutes after you started walking home, there was a blinding flash of lightning. that was the only warning you received before the skies opened up.

the frigid rain seeps through your clothes and chills you to the bone. surprisingly, it's not as unpleasant as it sounds; you were starting to feel a little numb, anyway. quiet splashes echo from the sidewalk as you drag yourself home. people pass you by one after the other, each with umbrellas, but you pay them no mind. you continue on your way.

maybe you're being dramatic, but you feel like shit right now.

when kazuha first suggested going to such a nice restaurant, you were a little hesitant to agree. never mind your preferences — kazuha isn't one for lavish affairs. he's told you as much before. even if the place wasn't super pricey, the ambience seemed to be a bit too much for his tastes. it took some coaxing on his part — he said he wanted to ask you something important, which only served to make your stomach twist into knots — but in the end, he finally got you to say yes. (truthfully, you folded as soon as he took your hands in his — you really need to learn to say no to him.)

it wasn't until you were getting ready to leave that you realized that this was going to be your tenth date with kazuha. is that why he was so insistent on going somewhere nice? you thought it adorable that he seemed to be keeping track of the number of dates the two of you have been on. it made you excited to see him — so excited in fact, that you showed up fifteen minutes early.

and yet in spite of this whole thing being his idea, kazuha never showed up, leaving you to make a fool of yourself in one of the nicest restaurants in the city.

"knew i should've stayed home," you grumble as you trudge through the downpour. you're totally lying to yourself; you had no intention of saying no to him. kazuha could suggest anything and you know you'd agree at the drop of a hat. but as they say, hindsight is 20/20; you should have dug your heels in and said no and suggested something else — maybe something that didn't involve you looking like a fucking moron at a restaurant.

your vision blurs suddenly, forcing you to come to a halt. you think it's because of the torrential rain, but the heat radiating off of your cheeks tells you otherwise. you wipe your eyes free of water — a futile effort — and chuckle humorlessly to yourself. why are you doing this? it's not like anybody's going to notice, right? you sniffle; that can easily be because you're cold and wet.

you sob. you tell yourself it's just a cough.

stop being so dramatic. keep walking.

the second you turn onto a narrow street, you hear a familiar thwip-! coming from overhead. you barely have time to acknowledge that spider-man is swinging around before he's landing right in front of you, blocking your path. you brush rainwater (and tears) out of your eyes to see him better. "you're, uh, kinda in my way, spider-man," you call out over the downpour. "could you move so i can go home?"

"what're you doing out here without an umbrella?" spider-man asks. he doesn't move like you asked; he just steps closer. and if you strain your ears a little, you think he sounds really worried. maybe you're just hearing things. "you're drenched! you're going to get sick at this rate."

for some reason, his concern makes you want to laugh. you crack a smile, though there's very little joy to be found in it. "i'm just taking a nightly stroll." you lie. "and don't worry, i won't get sick. i'm the nurse here, remember? now could you move, please?"

you step around him and start to walk past, but he grabs your arm, stopping you. why is he being like this? what is it with the men in your life tonight? "i... can't be too sure that you'll go straight home." he lets you go and holds out his hands for you to take. "at the very least, allow me to take you."

you make a face. "shouldn't you be saving someone somewhere?"

"i'm offering to take you somewhere, aren't i?" he asks. it sounds more like a retort to you. "and aren't you someone?"

"uh-huh. and what are you saving me from, exactly?"

"if we move fast enough, probably a really bad head cold." spider-man shakes his hand, silently urging you to take it. "come on. i can't have my doctor getting sick, can i?"

you sigh. you don't have it in you to turn down his offer. you never do, now that you're thinking about it. you should really do some self-evaluation. besides, the rain is fucking freezing — it felt nice a few minutes ago, but you can feel yourself starting to shiver and shake. that cold may just catch you regardless of how quickly you get home. "fine," you say and take his hand.

spider-man pulls you in by your hand and wraps an arm around your waist. instinctively, you cling to him as tightly as you can. he's as warm as ever, you note, even in the freezing rain. at this distance, you hear him chuckle: "at least you know to hold on tight." you get no other warning before he's zipping through the air with you in tow. you shriek at the sudden movement, but spider-man only laughs. "you're alright," he reassures you over the wind.

in no time at all, you're being rested on your balcony. you slide open the door and stumble into your apartment on wobbly knees, ignoring spider-man's amused laughter. "you're like a baby deer every time," he giggles. "are you not used to it yet?"

"stop making it sound like i'm the weird one here." you grumble as you lower yourself into a chair. your body feels too stiff and heavy to move. you're still drenched, but all you can do right now is shiver in your seat. meanwhile, spider-man isn't making any moves to leave. he's just watching you — or at least, you think he is. "what're you s-standing there for?" you stutter. you're cold. "what's the matter?"

spider-man puts his hand on the back of his neck and rubs it awkwardly. are you missing something right now? why is he suddenly acting like this? "are you... going to tell me why you were walking in the rain?" he holds the back of his neck, his eyes seemingly still on you. "i refuse to believe that you were taking a 'nightly stroll'." he uses air quotes to repeat your earlier words.

you laugh shakily. "are you interrogating me, spider-man?"

for once, he doesn't laugh with you. "i... just want to know. i'll leave you alone as soon as you tell me; you need to go and warm up."

you open your mouth to explain, but as you look back on the whole incident, you once again feel embarrassment take you by the shoulders. why were you really walking home in the rain? you could've ducked into a store and called a cab or taken public transportation -- what possessed you to do something so childish? your skin, though clammy, heats up as you avert your eyes.

you press your palm against your lips, muffling your voice. "i was, uh... stood up."

"...really now?"

you grimace and nod. "it was, um... supposed to be our tenth date, actually." you recall the blush that coated kazuha's cheeks when he asked you out the other day, and you start to feel the beginnings of a smile on your face. he's so cute — you'd give anything to see him right now.

because as upset as you may have been earlier, you realize that deep down, you just really want to be with kazuha. you're pissed that he still hasn't contacted you yet, but you have faith that he will; this kind of discourtesy isn't like him.

spider-man doesn't know that, though. he makes a noise of disapproval. "pardon my harsh language, songbird," he comments, "but he sounds like an asshole."

you gasp, scandalized. you've never heard him swear before. it sounds so wrong coming from him — was he really that upset about you being stood up? why did that thought make your heart skip a beat? "don't say something like that!" you open your mouth to continue chastising him, but instead you sneeze, hard. you groan and rise to your feet. if you don't move now, you really will catch that cold. "say something bad about my boyfriend again, and i'll fight your face off." you call over your shoulder as you head to your bathroom.

"your boyfriend?" spider-man's words give you pause. you whirl around to glare at him, ready to retort and defend yourself, but he puts his hands up in mock surrender. "you said it, not me. but i must say," he lays his hand over his chest, "i'm wounded, songbird. and here i thought i stood a chance."

you freeze. he thought what?! your mind starts to race immediately, but you reel yourself in quickly. your feelings for spider-man are supposed to be a thing of the past. they were childish and impractical — kazuha is the better choice in every way possible. remember that, you tell yourself.

you flip him off with a sigh. "get out, webhead. i'm going to warm up."

spider-man shrugs, the perfect picture of nonchalance. if only he knew the things he did to your head. "alright, alright." he heads back to your balcony. "take care of yourself, okay?" he calls out to you.

"whatever!" you call back.

with a laugh, he leaps off of your balcony and swings into the stormy night, leaving you dripping in your hallway. you shake your head and start towards your bathroom.

once you've taken a hot shower and put on some warm, dry clothes, you drop yourself onto your couch and turn your tv on. you're not really watching anything, but the background noise is nice. you lay yourself down and roll onto your back.

so the date was a bust. you sigh heavily. that restaurant was so, so nice, too. the atmosphere was perfect — you're pretty sure that if kazuha had asked you to be his partner there, you might have cried. that, or you would have passed out; either one seems likely. you pause for a second. is that what he was going to ask you? oh, you definitely would've cried.

are you really upset about being stood up? you gave it some thought while you were in the shower and decided that no, you're not all that upset. at least, not with kazuha. embarrassed, yes — you can never show your face at that restaurant again — but not upset. kazuha's track record speaks for itself; you can always re-schedule the date.

again, you sigh. you're much too nice to him. simp.

you're about to change the channel on the tv when you hear a frantic knocking on your front door. you jump, startled by the sudden noise. hesitant, you make your way to the door. "uh, who is it?" you call out.

the voice from behind the door makes your stomach flip. "it's kazuha. can i see you? please?"

kazuha? he came here?

you look through your peephole and sure enough, kazuha is standing in front of your door looking very winded, very distressed, and very drenched. without thinking twice, you fling your door open and tug him inside. "what were you thinking, coming here in this weather without an umbrella?!" you hiss at him as you take in his rain soaked state. under any other circumstances, you'd be gentler with him — normally you would never be so snappy with him — but all that's on your mind as you dart over to your linen closet is how sick he's going to be because of this.

kazuha's eyes widen at your tone. "i had to come and see you," he tries to explain. "i--"

you don't let him finish. you drop a soft towel over his head and start rubbing him dry, ignoring the startled noise he makes. "you're still catching your breath, too. christ, did you run here or something?"

you move the towel so that you can see kazuha's face. he looks so apologetic and honestly, really cute with his face peeking out from under the towel. "if i said yes, would you be upset with me?"

"what the-- yes!" you head back over to your linen closet and grab a bigger towel before marching into your room to rifle through your stuff. you can't believe he risked a catching a cold like this! and for what? just to see you? you stop for a moment and recognize just how romantic his gesture is supposed to be. his sprinting all the way to your apartment (and judging by the way his chest was heaving, up the stairs, too) in the freezing rain makes your heart stutter — to think he would go this far just to see you... you shake your head. you can be flattered after he's dry. you hear a quiet sneeze from outside your room and quickly head back out to see kazuha rubbing at his nose.

you shove the clothes you found into his arms along with the towel. "go and take a shower and put these on." you shake your head when he starts to talk back. "nope, i don't want to hear it. when you're done, leave your clothes in the sink and i'll wash and dry them."

"this is--"

"kazuha." your tone is flat and leaves no room for argument. you raise a brow at him and he stares at you for just a second longer before doing as you said. once the bathroom door is closed, you drop yourself back on your couch and bury your face in your hands.

you thought that you weren't upset, but now that he's actually here, you're not quite sure what it is you're feeling. are you pissed because he risked his health to see you? or do you want to punch him for standing you up tonight? well, you think to yourself, he wouldn't have run in the rain if he didn't feel bad about the whole date situation. you look at the bathroom door with a tiny smile. he can be such a charmer when he wants to be — an impulsive one, but a charmer nonetheless. you decide that you're definitely just upset at him for being so stupid.

time passes and eventually kazuha emerges from your bathroom in the large hoodie and sweatpants you forced upon him. he looks adorable in your clothes. you tell him to make himself comfortable before tossing his clothes in the laundry. when you come back, you seat yourself beside him. he seems to be making himself small — either that or he's just drowning in the clothes you gave him. "am i allowed to speak now?" he asks quietly.

you snort. "yes, kazuha, you can speak now."

"i'm really sorry." kazuha's eyes are on you, and you can see the remorse swimming in them. he looks like he's gauging your reaction for permission to continue. when you say nothing, he goes on: "i swear to you, i was on my way there when something suddenly came up," he continues. "it was urgent and demanded all of my attention. i must have gotten so absorbed that i'd forgotten to contact you. by the time everything had finished, it was incredibly late and i figured that you must've gone home, so i..." he trails off.

you tilt your head. "so you ran here?"

kazuha nods. "i... didn't realize doing so would upset you so much. so please, allow me to apologize for that as well. i know my excuse may sound generic and unsatisfying, but you have to believe me when i say that i'm telling the truth.

well, there it is. there's your apology. you press your lips together to fight off a smile. "i believe you just fine," you say. "and i forgive you."

he blinks in disbelief. "are... you sure? aren't you upset with me?"

"do you want me to be?"

"you should be." kazuha winces. this is seriously eating at him; his brows are drawn and his jaw is clenched, showing in no uncertain terms that at least one of you is upset. upset may not even be the right word. he's starting to look pained, if not anything else. why is he being like this? for the second time tonight, you feel like you're missing something here.

you reach over and gently tap your fingers against his own in a silent request to take his hand. he visibly stalls before tentatively wrapping his pinky around yours. "i really do forgive you, you know." you murmur. "life happens, and sometimes plans don't work out. that's just the way things are."

kazuha sighs, unconvinced by your kindness. "the whole date was my idea." he takes his hand away from yours. "at the very least, i should have contacted you." he looks away from you. "and i know that... that this won't be the last time something like this happens. i don't want to keep disappointing you like this."

there's a hidden weight to his words that you pick up on. it's apparent that he's not telling you something, but it's not like you can just pry it out of him. he's barely listening to you as it is. you find yourself stuck between being flattered that he cares so much and worried that he'll truly never forgive himself for this. what can you do to convince him that you're not mad?

kazuha's shoulders tense and you can see color faintly rising to his cheeks. "and i was going to ask you..." he pauses for a second to look at you. "...something important, but i'm worried that i shouldn't. that i don't deserve to."

...you knew it. you fucking knew it! you see the way he's looking at you — he was totally going to ask you to be his partner. the problem now though, is that he's probably not going to. he's kicking himself while he's down, ruining your relationship before you even had a chance to form one.

it's not hard to see things his way. he's worried that he can't guarantee that he'll be able to confidently make time for you without interruption. it's a legitimate concern — who doesn't worry about this kind of thing? what he needs to hear now is not that everything's okay, but rather that it will be; that you're content with any mistakes he may make; that you're more than willing to take him as he is, urgent issues and all.

again, you knock your fingers on his. this time, you hook two of your fingers on his. "ask me." you tell him.

kazuha frowns slightly. "i don't..."

"do you still want to ask?"

"of course." he pauses to squints at you. "you already know what it is i'm going to ask you, don't you?"

you bite back a grin. "maybe i do, maybe i don't. ask me anyways."

a smile ghosts across his face as his cheeks redden just a little bit more. "i was going to ask if you wanted to... make our relationship official." he looks down at your joined fingers before looking back at you. "and it would mean the world to me if you said—"

"yes."

kazuha takes your hand fully. "i had a feeling you would say that." it's evident in the way he visibly softens and in the way he sighs that he's pleased with your answer (although 'pleased' is far too light a word to describe the pure, raw happiness that overtook his face). maybe you're going crazy, but you think that something akin to love flashes in his eyes. it overwhelms you. he takes your hand fully in his and you feel your own face start to warm just from looking at him.

"i was always going to say yes," you say when you manage to find your voice. "i want to be with you, kazuha."

his expression dims. did you say something wrong? "i want to be with you too," he says as he brings your hand up to cup his face. "but as i said, i may be a disappointment to you. i don't want to hurt you in any way, even if it's by accident."

you brush your thumb over his skin. it's warm to the touch. "you won't hurt me," you say softly. "and a little disappointment won't be the end of the world."

kazuha regards you closely. he looks like he's trying to be at peace with your hand on his face, but the draw in his brows gives away his internal conflict. for a second, you wonder if you're coming off too strong. you like kazuha a lot (it's probably too soon to say the big L word, but it surely doesn't scare you), but you're always afraid that you're either giving too much of yourself, or not enough. your insistence on dating him may be more repulsive than attractive.

"i like you," he suddenly murmurs, "so much."

your chest feels tight and you feel breathless. why did he suddenly say that? "i like you, too," you reply.

kazuha leans in and presses his forehead against yours. you hold your breath as his eyes slip shut. he seems so at peace at this distance, unlike you, who's trying to swallow back your heart that suddenly leaped into your throat. "i'd like to be yours," he says in the space between. "if you'll have me, that is."

you feel so dizzy, so drunk on your giddy emotions. this isn't how you saw tonight playing out at all, but you're not going to complain. "of course," you breathe your response. your voice trembles just a little, giving away your nervousness. "you're all i want."

at that, kazuha kisses you. it's slow and sweet, and also — if memory serves you right — the fifth time he's kissed you. if life were a cartoon, you would probably flushed bright red, lovestruck and dumb; a fool for the man before you. it takes you a second to kiss him back — he pulls away for just a moment but you capture his lips again and drink in the content sigh he rewards you with. this is different from the kisses you've shared before. the others were reserved and almost timid, hesitant kisses shared at the beginning of a new relationship. this kiss becomes intoxicating and gratifying — one you find yourself quickly getting addicted to.

believe it or not though, it's you who pulls away first, your heart stuttering in your chest. you don't go very far, but you turn your head away to try and retain some of your sanity. it's obvious that what you said had quite the effect on kazuha; his fingers come to your jaw and move you gently so that you're facing him again, but he doesn't close the gap. there's another silence before he kisses you once, then twice, before he pulls away and sighs. "if there's anything that i can do to make up for tonight," he says, "tell me. i'll do anything."

there's only one thing you can think of saying. "stay with me tonight." the words come out easily — maybe a little too easily. you fluster and your face heats up considerably as you start to ramble. "i-i mean, um... it's gonna be pouring all night and you clearly don't have an umbrella so i mean, i think you should stay. if you want to, then of course you can stay, but you can say no — i just don't want you to catch a cold, y'know..."

kazuha says nothing; he watches you with thinly veiled amusement in his eyes. "would me staying the night make you happy?"

you groan quietly. "stop enjoying this. you know the answer already."

"i do, i do. you're just really cute when you're embarrassed."

"you know what? forget it. i'm gonna go check on your clothes." you stand abruptly to escape your discomfort, but kazuha takes your hand in his, stopping you with a laugh.

"i'm sorry, dove, i'm sorry." he chuckles as he speaks. he stands and pulls you in by your waist. "i'll stay the night. does that sound good?"

you rest your hands on his shoulders poised to push him away, but think against it. your heart is hammering in your chest. it's hard to be mad at him when he's smiling like that, even if it's at your expense. asking him to stay was a spur of the moment decision, but when you look at him like this, up close, you know that you would've had a hard time letting him go. so... "yeah," you mutter. "sounds good. now will you please let me go and check on your clothes?"

he hums and leans in. his voice is barely above a murmur when he speaks. "one more thing." and for (what you think is) the eighth time since you've started seeing each other, kazuha kisses you, sending pleasure rocketing through your system. it drags on despite you trying to pull away, what with kazuha chasing after your lips with a mischievous smile the entire time.

eventually, you get fed up and hold his face. "knock it off, you." you say once you successfully pull away. "i have things to do."

kazuha, who looks far brighter than he was earlier, lets you go and raises his hands in mock surrender. "alright, alright. go on. i'll be here; i promise."

you open your mouth to say something snide, but quickly shut it. you're floored by just how happy he makes you, even if he can be annoying from time to time. perhaps it's because you're technically in the honeymoon phase, but you know for a fact that his smile is one you'd do anything to protect. becoming his partner is a decision you know you'll never, ever regret, and you're sure of that.

you turn on your heel and start towards the laundry room. "don't miss me too much!" you call over your shoulder. kazuha's quiet laughter follows you out of the room, warming your heart.

✦ [screaming and crying]

✦ I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH KAZUHA WITHDRAWALS FOR DAYS AND THAT'S WHY THERE'S SO MANY KISSES, I'M SO SORRY I'M SUCH A PATHETIC BITCHNDBSDJ

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #kazuha x reader #genshin kazuha x reader #[ ✍️🏽 — scribbles! ] #does a half-happy dance

[deliverusfromevillll]

A Sticky Situation [Mammon/F!Reader]

❝ What fuckin' nonsense have ya' been telling y'reself this entire time? ❞

warnings ⨾ blood, descriptions of gore, guns, gunshot wound, choking, swearing, arachnophobia (the irony), established prior connection, soft mammon, sexual content, unresolved sexual tension, resolved angst

terms ⨾ ❝ Drakon ❞ the Latin word meaning "dragon." ❝ Bogan ❞ Australian slang meaning (in negative connotation) someone who's a bit of a nerd or geek, holds no dress sense and/or has poor social skills.

notes  ⨾ I am very much not Australian so when I looked up slang and could not find ANY concrete definitions for anything: I was in major pain. Anyways quick thing because [F/n]'s lore might seem confusing. I created an entirely different race of "humanoid" dragons that acted as the knight/official guards for the Ars Goetia incase of extermination/assassination attempts. [F/n] retired from her position as knight for an unnamed Goetia. This entire chapter was originally 13K words but I felt as though the plot arc with the Goetia drifted way too far from the original point of this fic since it was so, so needlessly lore heavy for a reader insert and made this 100x more angsty like you have no idea. Especially since this is only meant to be two chapters. This chapter was cut down for your reading pleasure!

Chapter 2 smut hyperlink will be added when I release it Ɛ>

As always minors DNI.| 6.3K words

[F/n] and Mammon's relationship is unique.

He was her boss, and she was his secretary.

Running the errands, info graphing, and scheduling his business appointments when due. But it wasn't so simple.

With his artificially friendly attitude in public, behind the scenes he was nothing but cynical— snarky and demanding. Hardly surprising for the king of greed.

[F/n] was no fan, she made it clear.

Despite the lethal glares and threats she managed to shoot a quip or a snark in return each time. It initially prompted a warning hiss or a growl, an insult or a threat.

Then he resorted to shredding through his confined costume to intimidate her one time after they both seriously got into it. Neither party was satisfied in not having the last word.

Despite however many threats were hurled nothing ever came about them.

[F/n] desired the experience the job gave her and Mammon found her too entertaining to simply let go.

[F/n] and Mammon's relationship is undeniably unique.

But damn, there was no shying away from the fact [F/n] did her job exceptionally well. The best in all of Hell. And that's another one of the handful of reasons why he tolerated her.

"Y'er getting on my nerves lizard." Mammon seethes with a false smile.

He sulks leaning away, poisonous puff of green air seeping though his teeth.

[F/n] raises a brow at him, eye roll following. "I need you to work with me here, asshole." [F/n] adjusted herself, turning towards him.

"If you wanna reduce the immediate damage Asmodeus and his little lapdog made we need to start advertising the twins asap. What's bothering you right now?"

Mammon huffed. "The leftover Fizz merch— sales are declining incase ya' haven't seen mate. I'm losin' money."

[F/n] clicked her tongue.

"Whatever doesn't sell now we can resell in a few weeks as vintage or some other bullshit with a higher price tag. You have any idea how much these loser collectors will pay to get their hands on discontinued merchandise?"

That's all it took for Mammon to light up, snatching [F/n] with his top hands in excitement.

"Y'er a bloody GENIOUS!" He shakes her, dropping her instantaneously. "We could double —no— TRIPLE our profits thanks to these degenerates! Ahh I taught ya' so bloody well!"

Mammon splays his hands towards the imaginary dollar signs in the air, clapping eagerly.

"And that's why I love ya' doll!" He shouts with a hefty grin, giving her a final charmed glance as he turned to make way towards the awaiting camera crew. Robo-Fizzies chasing after him with lighting sticks and microphones.

[F/n] catches herself after his stare, the spines on her tail rattling flustered. Her posture eases before anyone else can see as she flicks her tail in response.

Damn did she hate whenever he said things like that.

It's almost as if he knew the effect he had on her, doing and saying things that would purposefully rile her up. [F/n] refused to acknowledge any part of it, counteractive to the very obvious blush on her completion.

Through the commotion, Mammon smiled charismatically in [F/n]'s direction as their eyes met again. This was going to be a long shoot.

"That went better than I expected." [F/n] mumbles. Mammon appearing in a green cloud next to her. Bells chiming happily.

"Why'dya say that? Doubted me?" He rung.

"Well for all the years I've known you— Accepting you got fucked is definitely not something you're known for... You're taking losing your star clown better than I thought."

Mammon chuckles in amusement.

"Star clown? I am the star clown. With or without him I'll still make a fuck ton o' money." He nudges her. "With y'er— uh, our ideas and my reinforcement I don't see any issue mate."

[F/n] looked very, very, unconvinced. Mammon thinks for a moment before shrugging.

"At the end of the day you are my most valuable asset after all."

"What a way to make a girl feel special Ammo." Her eyes roll.

Mammon only giggled for a moment, attention immediately stolen upon taking in a familiar scent.

The smell of coffee meets his nose as they walk before the café in his estate. It takes him no time to decide he's in the mood for another cup of coffee.

[F/n] could already tell by the expression on his face. However unconvinced about giving the bug even more caffeine after his last.

Mammon playfully puts on a puppy-eyed expression as he bends town to her level.

He shoves his face in front of hers, frowning, the green glow of his pupils becoming brighter. "C'mon doll, ya'd say no to my lil 'ol face?"

His smaller spider eyes make a show as he frowns with an exaggerated pointed lip.

She sighs, gently pushing his face away. "Enough with the eyes. I'll be right back... Not like you'd let me say no anyways asshole."

Like a cat that ate the canary, Mammon smiles triumphantly as he took a moment to get seated on one of the empty tables outside the shop.

He enjoys the smell of coffee beans while searching in her direction through the large glass windows. He watches her make some hand motions towards the menu.

Letting out a big yawn, he blinks blearily. He could use a nap after all this.

Exploiting his employees was hard work after all.

Mammon observes her pull out her wallet, swiping her card. His smile becomes gentler, enamored at the idea of her willingness to spend her own money on him.

He became increasingly aware the expression he wore, quickly clearing his throat to look more serious.

It takes the café worker a second to hand her the single cup of coffee alongside a paper bag. He waves her goodbye with a bold wink, [F/n] unable to hold her laugh.

Mammon gritted his teeth. He conditioned his employees not to unnecessarily pester him, or her, especially when they were out together. Seems like one of them hadn't learned this yet. He took a mental note.

He was about to get up from his seat until [F/n] audibly shut the door behind her with a small jingle. She takes a seat across from him as he leaned forward and snatched the drink from her hand.

"'Bout fuckin' time cunt." He grumbles.

Mammon takes a sip of the cold coffee, ignoring his irritation as the sweet contents hit his tongue.

Or at least he tried to, the sweetness of it tasting rather dull part in due to his thoughts.

"Was this made by that fuckin' bogan?" He wonders.

His hand tenses, squeezing the drink at his palm slightly.

"I got you this." [F/n] mumbled, scooting the bag towards him.

Mammon snaps his attention towards back towards her, pausing to glance between her then the baggie before fishing through it. He pulls out a small box, opening it to reveal a cream colored pastry.

It takes him a moment to collect his thought.

Confused, he asks, "Why the cake, doll? Ya' know all I wanted was my coffee."

"You were feeling like shit earlier." She puts it simply.

Mammon shifted from the cake to her in his peripheral vision.

She was worried about him. Had him in her mind. Considerate about how he felt, albeit she wouldn't admit it out loud.

He couldn't help but grow a fat smile, genuine smile, as he scoots closer towards her.

"I'm starting to think ya' actually care about me, love." [F/n]'s eyes widen for a second.

She looks away from him, scoffing.

"Don't overthink it. I don't want to deal with you when you're in a mood."

Mammon takes a small bite, savoring the even sweeter taste. Humming with delight, he takes another portion of it with the plastic spoon, leaning forward to bring it to her mouth.

[F/n] glances between the cake and Mammon, who's unashamedly eagerly watching her.

"I-I don't—"

"Ahh don't fuckin' be like that mate. It's good, try it!"

The dragon takes a bite, flushed, as she ate the piece in silent agreement. Her tail sticking to her leg somewhat embarrassed.

He was right, the pastry was fluffy and flavorful. Not that she expected any different, that was the reason why she bought it for him. She would've never anticipated this however.

Another spoonful reaches her lips, she accepts it without complaint this time. Expression easing. Her tail wags behind her in satisfaction.

Mammon carefully scoops more, bringing it to her face once again.

[F/n] quickly swallows the bit already in her mouth, shaking her head this time.

"I bought it for you, I'm eating more of it than you are. You're being a little bit too charitable."

"Yeah but who's to say I'm not getting anythin' out of feeding ya', love?" He dotes.

[F/n] felt the tips of her ears warm, tail flicking.

Mammon soaks in her flush, turning to take another sip of his coffee. His eyes follow the direction of his lips for a glance before returning at her image.

He freezes for a moment, brows furrowing. Mammon checks the cup again to ensure he saw it correctly. [F/n] immediately notices his expression drop and leans over to see the source.

A phone number was written just under her name with a heart.

"Aw how cute!"

Mammon gags. "Cute?!"

"Yeah, first time someone has done that for me. It's kinda sweet!" [F/n] reaches for the cup, Mammon hisses as he holds it further away.

"Doll, there's no bloody way you're actually interested in this cunt. He's some fuckin' nobody workin' below minimum wage!"

"Oh please, you sound jealous, he was really n—!"

Mammon immediately crushes the cup in his grip, indifferent feeling the coffee spill onto his glove and trickle to the table. He reaches over to grab [F/n]'s extended hand to move it away as he leans towards her features.

His face was centimeters away from hers, sharp breath tickling her features.

"I ain't the sharing type." Mammon growled.

The cup gets engulfed in a green cloud, vanishing as the smoke dissipated. [F/n] glared at the spider, brows furrowed in uncertainty.

He was acting like this again.

"Fucking hell, I didn't want any of your coffee. I just wanted to see the goddamn number."

Mammon blinks, head tilting. He mutters something under his breath as he stands, breaking eye contact.

She thought he was upset over sharing a drink? Far from it, but he wasn't going to clarify if that's the conclusion she came to.

Still holding onto her hand, he strings her up as he gets out of his seat.

"Better ya' don't. This cunt wouldn't even be able to take care of ya'." [F/n] rolls her eyes. Though it didn't go unnoticed, as Mammon grimaced.

"It's impossible to find anyone at all when you scare everyone off." She growls lowly.

"Don't fuckin' hiss at me doll. I'm savin' ya from the embarrassment."

"The embarrassment of what exactly?"

"Of goin' out with the lower class, hells y're considered a knight for the Goetia ain't ya'? Y're not gonna get anythin' worthwhile in some random mutt."

[F/n] swats her tail very irritably, yanking her wrist back forcefully.

A loud tear following in the process.

"I can be with whoever the fuck I want and feel like, I'm not some goddamn princess."

Mammon looks at his glove, seeing as the motion of her pull had tore through the material. It was a reminder of how sharp her scales were.

It wasn't deep enough to cut his actual skin. But the damage on his glove was done. A rush of anger at her defiance. 

He sneers, looking between the café and her short figure. A cloud of green exits through his teeth as he grips her by the neck, lifting her effortlessly to his face.

[F/n] grabs his wrists, squeezing equally as hard, as her wings flutter behind her to give herself some leverage and room to breathe.

She looks genuinely shocked for a moment, though it only took a second for her to regain composure to glare at the sin with bared teeth. Scales began to form on her complexion. 

Mammon stares deeply into her eyes with a menacing smile. His miniature eyes emitting a soft glow.

"REMEMBER Y'R PLACE BENEATH ME BEFORE I REMIND YA'."

He let's her go, watching as she wobbly lands on her feet.

I gust of wind hits his face as she flapped her wings to soften the fall. The scales that covered her face immediately erase as the tension breaks with a longer sharp inhale of air.

They had instantly gained the attention of everyone around them if they hadn't already, silence deafening.

[F/n] felt humiliated. Hurt. Used.

Defeated, for once.

"I don't fuckin' pay ya to run 'round with y'r bitch hormones. I hired ya' to serve me and me only."

[F/n] bites her lower lip, her claw reaching up to feel where his met her throat.

That was the first time he'd ever grabbed her like that. Sure he'd scream and threaten her before, even swung at her at times however each time he did so slow enough to miss.

He'd chuck random items in reach sometimes knowing she could just dodge or fly out of the way.

It never crossed further than that.

Now to be grabbed by the neck? That was new.

The trace of his hand lingered warningly as she tried to sooth over her bruised skin.

She looked up at him, tail tucked in between her legs.

He would only ever harm people he saw replaceable. His subordinates. The realization came crashing down on her incredibly hard.

He could've just as easily killed her in that moment, snapped her neck and that would've been it.

Did their history mean nothing to him? 

What changed?

"Fuck you..." It came as a whisper.

Unsure of whether he heard that or not, he chose to ignore it either way in favor of her tail.

He pointed at it, releasing a laugh as if it was the most amusing thing he'd seen.

It felt nauseating. One moment he was warm: the next, cruel.

Despite all the time spent, she concluded he never saw her as anything further than another form of entertainment.

An animal he can poke and prod for a reaction. Even in her state of shock all he did was laugh. The sound echoed in her head.

A familiar tone rings, buzzing. And Mammon instantly snaps out of his laughter.

He fishes through his pocket to pick up his phone.

His alarm was going off.

"Ahh fuckin' bitch— meeting is about to start." He groans, recovering quickly.

"C'mere." He demands, forgiving the glare she shot at him as he pulled her arm so forcefully she knew she'd bruise.

Mammon teleports the two of them into his office.

The jiggles of coins chime as he lands into his web, [F/n] perched beside him.

Her eyes widen slightly, trying to adjust herself in a better position. She tugs on one of her wings stuck into the webbing with an irritated scowl. He quickly removed the damaged glove and snaps a new one in its place out of thin air.

Mammon, who's busy with a drumstick he seemingly pulled from nowhere, nonchalantly untangles her wing in a simple swipe.

He stops chewing for a second to give her a toothy smirk: [F/n] returning a huff.

"Oh come off it will ya', ya' bitch?"

"We need to talk."

Mammon, who doesn't give it any thought, takes another bite of his food.

"More bitchin'." He imagines.

"Some other time."

[F/n] looks away from him, curling her tail around her leg to try and provide some sort of self comfort. She felt disappointed.

Despite all the breakthroughs made in their partnership, he still treated her like an object. His object. Something he was free to do whatever he wanted to. Truth be told, it stung deeply.

It was the only thing she could think about lately.

There was no denying Mammon grew incredibly on her, she only wished he felt the same in return. Maybe then he wouldn't be so needlessly mean.

Was it something she did? Something she didn't do?

There was no point in even thinking about it, [F/n] didn't want to be embarrassed again. She refused.

Security open the doors of his office, and in come a small group of incubi.

The one leading the group takes a quick bow before the two, tipping his hat while smiling on his way up.

Both watch as they fill the room, trotting with some briefcases in hand. The thumps of their boots semi-absorbed into the carpet they walked on.

"What an honor to see Mammon and his little butterfly, even more so present our wonderful idea to." He starts, slowly pacing left and right.

"We all know about the massive, massive, slaughter that came of the drakon specie during the first war with heaven. Terrible thing really." He smirks.

[F/n] raises her brow, crossing her arms further.

"A bigger shame would be to allow the fun of them go." The incubus pulls out his phone to project a screen before them.

[F/n] and Mammon look less than impressed.

"I present to you the dragon dildo, made with real dragon scales! The synthetic crap can't compare to this." He chuckles, arms extended either way.

The incubi look impressed by their own work. "Dragon scales are the hardest material in all of hell. This thing would be fucking indestructible! It's every horny sinner's dream!"

Mammon yawns, waving a finger.

"And how exactly are ya' going to farm real scales? There's hardly a handful of drakons in all o' hell left mate n' the survivors are all considered royalty."

"Well my good sir, that's where we were hoping you would come in. Seeing as you already possess one of them. I'm sure the king of greed wouldn't mind parting with it in turn for a greater profit."

[F/n] leans out of her seat, seething at the disrespectful implication. "Are you stupid or suicidal?"

The incubus hands one of his partners the briefcase, who held it sideways.

"Oh but my dear, you are very valuable. Your title as knight is only a benefit you see. You can be a brand on its own with how infamous your status was."

He starts unclipping the handles of the case.

"My title was granted to me because of how efficient I was in fighting angels. You— I'd MOP the floor with you."

Mammon tugs her back onto his side. His expression doesn't say much, however, the hand planted around her thigh possessively said it all.

"Y're gonna die for wastin' my time." He snarls, grinning wildly.

Mammon snaps his fingers and in rushes his security of robot Fizzarollis.

[F/n] felt him squeeze her thigh as he presses her deeper into his side. Her initial anger melting as her heart beats faster in reaction. [F/n] stares up at him, his image burning into her mind.

Her hand rested on his chest— able to feel his warmth, his breathing, it felt too intimate.

She felt his heartbeat at her fingertips, beating a tad bit faster than usual.

Then, she remembered. She thought his claim over her was nothing more than superficial, for looks, all this to keep her obedient and lull her back into his claws until the next time she slightly agitated him.

She looks back at the group, frowning.

"Shame, really. I was hoping you'd cooperate for your sake." The incubi frowns.

He opens his briefcase, incubi's devilish smile doesn't go unnoticed.

[F/n], unable to say anything in time, connects two and two as a familiar glint reflects off the metal brandished.

Breaking out of Mammon's grasp, she straddles him and extends her wings— covering as much of him as she possibly could.

A glowing bullet hits [F/n] directly the bend of her wing, the jolt of pain sucking the wind out of her as she slips onto Mammon's stomach.

The incubi's angelic revolver smokes at the barrel.

Security tackles the gunman.

They struggle to get each of his henchmen into cuffs, but with increasing numbers it quickly becomes apparent the gunman along with his goons has no chance.

Mammon immediately moves to shield [F/n] with his body, placing her onto the web. They both look at wound, [F/n] hissing as she tries to stretch her injured wing.

"Fuck— A-Are ya' alright? I didn't think..."

"I'm fine Ammo, he just nailed my joint. That's it." She interrupted, groaning.

His face turns between her injury and her expression several times. He looked worried. His eyes glossed. 

[F/n] frowns.

Electricity flies off of Mammon, turning to look at the commotion behind him. Panic quickly turns into rage as he bursts out of his confined costume with a deafening yell.

The room fills with green.

Sounds of screaming immediately follow.

Mammon smashes some of the incubi into the floor, completely crushed under his weight. He makes sure to smear them in, grinning like a Cheshire cat as he does so.

Those unfortunate enough not to cease on impact were left wailing in agony: taking a fistful of the carpet in a hopeless attempt to pull themselves away with a gaping hole going through their back to their stomach..

It was messy.

The blood from their bodies popped similarly to that of water-balloons. It was a gross, alleviating sight. [F/n] could take comfort knowing sinners like these wouldn't be able to come after her again.

After having his fun, Mammon darts his head towards the remaining incubus.

His mini spider eyes radiated a toxic green as he slinked over. The two robo-fizzies who had captured him meekly raised him towards Mammon: who instantly snatches the man and brings him towards his eye level.

"PLEASE N—"

"B̴͍͚̀E̴̯̘̊G̴͈͍͝ ̸̯̩̌F̸͖̗̈́Ò̸͉́Ṛ̶̪͆ ̶͓̑͒Y̷̥͌͂Ŏ̴̖̩̒U̷̲̳͆͌Ṙ̶̟̂ ̸̦͓͂L̶͍̺̈́Ḯ̸̬F̶̨͓͋̅E̵̩̦̋."

Before even giving him the chance, his please come strangled into whispers as Mammon squeezes him in his fist.

He exhales a large green cloud onto his pitiful expression as he attempts to gasp for air, coughing violently in response. A crack erupts.

Mammon drops him to the floor, watching as he contorted with a deafening scream. Observing him cry for a moment: he does the same as he dealt with the ones previously, popping him like an unwanted pimple.

His breathing labored, the high coming down upon realizing he was the last of the group.

Mammon raises one of his bloodied spider legs out of a fresh carcass, inspecting it, grumbling something under his breath.

The security group of robo-fizzies seem unsure on how to proceed, each of them timidly watching awaiting orders.

"The fuck are ya' looking at? Get this cleaned up NOW!" He roared.

The robots scrambled, tumbling over each other as they struggled to organize themselves.

Mammon slinks back towards [F/n], expression instantly softening.

She lets out a whine, yanking out the glowing particle as the pain of it courses through her back. "Gods fuck that hurt..." [F/n] bit her tongue, aimlessly tossing the bullet at the floor.

"Shit, let's go get ya' patched up beautiful." He mumbles, taking her carefully into his arms as if she'd shatter entirely at the slightest bump.

"Fucking— OW!"

"Ahh can ya' fuckin' hold still for a minute mate!?"

Mammon quickly wraps a thick webbing around her wing, using a splint to keep it straight in place.

[F/n] squirms, suppressing the acid-ball forming at her throat. Mammon makes his final wrap as he sticks the web onto itself, hands gently caressing her wing.

He sighs.

Neither of them say anything for a moment. The silence deafening as the reality of the situation sinks in.

He frowns, gently letting go of his work.

Moving to cup her cheek as he turns her expression towards him even gentler, afraid he would somehow shatter her.

"Why the face? What's the matter beautiful?"

There it was, again, the rapid beating of her heart over his artificial pet names.

"Nothing. Just... I can't fucking believe I got shot right in the elbow." She mumbles, sparing a glance at his handiwork on her wing.

"Normally my scales are able to tank angelic bullets... Maybe I'm becoming weak." [F/n] sighed.

"I, uh, well ya'know... That bullet would'a sent me to the bloody hospital. Cunt aimed for my head." Mammon swallows.

He drags a finger under the fabric of his neck, pulling on it momentarily.

"And honestly... I think y're the only bloody demon crazy enough who'd ever do anything like that for me."

He strokes the webbing gingerly, feeling the material brush against the rest of her scales. He paused.

Mammon tenses slightly as he rehearsed his next sentence in his mind dozens of times, feeling awkward as the very unfamiliar phrase leaves his tongue.

"So —uh— I appreciate ya' more than ya' think..."

It falls silent as her face hues.

Though it doesn't bother him remotely, continuing to massage around the bend of her wing.

If only he were consistently like this. Then it would make the signs so much more visible.

Visible he actually wanted her.

[F/n] swallows thickly, doing her best to calm the trot in her chest. She knew despite everything if she could go back in time she wouldn't change the outcome of it.

Even in the chaos of it all she cared too deeply about him to imagine him hurt. With that, the wave of knowing she completely lost to him finally came crashing down on her.

Their game of chess was finally concluded, he won, and that's why she needed to get out.

"Mammon we really need to talk."

Her wing pulls away from his petting, curling back into its usual space. He seemed disappointed as the warmth of her injured limb left his grasp.

"What about?"

Her lips quiver, the frown on her expression breaking through the poker face she tried to maintain. Her eyes water, tail curling.

She thinks of all of their mishaps together. To when she first agreed to work with him, their first banter, their first success together, how they progressively got more and more comfortable with each other.

She went from someone behind the scenes to being his only companion. He was a hothead, but so was she. But their differences felt too great: the hot and cold treatment was driving her crazy.

"We need to end our contract."

Mammon blinked. Frozen.

He slowly clenches his fists impossibly hard.

"Why? Was it because o' that fuckin' incubus? Y-Ya' watched me kill 'em. I promise next time I—"

"It's not that. None of that."

"Then what is it? Fuck changed?"

"Mammon as much as I love being here with you and working alongside you, I just can't be around you anymore."

It was obvious he didn't understand, his pause with unsure searching eyes sought to try and read the static expression she did her best to maintain. 

"I'm sorry."

Mammon felt himself burn. He felt his insides ignite with such intense desperation with a feeling he didn't entirely recognize.

Even knowing her more basic tasks could be given to someone else to fill just as easily did nothing to reassure him.

Hells he didn't feel this lost when Fizz quit his position. He got over that so insanely fast. It was deeper than that.

This was the only person he remotely cared about in all of hell resigning.

The idea felt so unreal.

"I'm so sorry." [F/n] repeated.

The click of her boots echo as she walked towards the double doors of his bedroom. Like a whisper, she faded.

Mammon watches as her tail hovers just above the ground. Immediately noting how she didn't just drag it as she normally would. The low rattle it'd make was erased, as if she wanted to create the least bit of noise possible.

Why? Did he scare her?

Nonsense. She was the only one who wouldn't cave to his ridiculous disrespect despite his threats. And though it did get in his nerves initially, it grew on him and made everything in his life new again.

He enjoyed hearing her voice.

Hearing her talk about frivolous, nonsensical, shit. Enjoyed observing the smallest things about her.

Like the way she would hide the joy in her expression but unable to maintain the same façade in her eagerly wagging tail.

Or the way her wings would flutter for a second whenever she was blushing.

Or when she would get too excited her hair would pulse the color of her element. And how whenever she's extremely upset her clear complexion starts forming scales as if she were ready to morph.

Or how she sometimes has difficulty not tearing clothes due to the sharpness of her claws. She would always let out a loud groan and a few swears before deciding if it were salvageable.

He felt electricity course through his body. His eyelid twitching.

[F/n] hugged herself, shutting the door behind her as she power walked through his manor.

She used her sleeve to wipe away the tears before they could spill. Quietly whimpering to herself to alleviate the ache in her chest.

She doesn't get very far however, before snapping out of her emotions as a loud bang interrupts her.

[F/n] points her gaze backwards, watching the doors fly open while cracking at the force of his push.

"OUR CONVO AIN'T OVER!"

She backs up hesitantly as Mammon runs at her. The thumping of his soles grew louder, seemingly indifferent at the idea he may trample her.

Clouds of swamp green smoke exit through his teeth. He halts just before her, punching a hole through the wall next to them to release his rage. Chips of brick and dust recoil along with his fist.

"You— YA' THINK YA' CAN JUST JOG OFF?" He growled, leaning down as he stared at her.

"Whatever idea ya got in that pretty lil' head o' yours, toss it. I won't break our contract. You are MINE."

[F/n] sighed, eyebrows furrowed as she shook her head at him.

"You don't get it." Her disbelief erases as her head comes to point towards his.

She snaps her fingers and out manifests a golden sheet between them with both their signatures held within the bottom. 

"It's written agreement in our contact that only requires the consent of one party to break it."

Mammon felt a drop of sweat come down his neck.

He froze. The pain grew.

And she was right, the section she was referring to glowed faintly among the rest of the text as she highlighted it. Demanifesting as she withdrew her hand.

"A rule you imposed since you were initially skeptical about my performance in your estate."

"I- I... Fuckin'..."

It goes silent.

The rush of anger evaporated from his body with the sparks. Feeling at a loss on what to say, Mammon swallows thickly as he blinks.

He reaches a hand to clutch the material over his chest, squeezing it.

His gaze eventually trails back to hers.

His mind returns to the thought of massive their height difference was. She was so small compared to him. It made his heart chirp. His hand comes up to erase the flustered look looming on his features.

Mammon recollects himself as best he can in a pathetic attempt. He brushes his hat shakily, the bells chiming as the material bounced back.

"So then tell me why—?"

[F/n] growls, pressing her claws into her palm.

"STOP!" She shouts at him, quickly wiping away at the corner of her eyes. "D-Don't make this needlessly complicated."

Again with the tears, only this time she couldn't prevent them.

Mammon frowned, reaching out to her. He wanted to console her, wipe away those tears. It pained him knowing he was the source.

The tip of his index finger brushed against her cheek unable to get far.

[F/n] swatted away his hand. And that hurt him.

"You fucking... g-goddamnit you fucking dumbass... Can't you see what's going on?" She hissed stomping a few steps away from him.

"I fell so hard for you, and it fucking blows because I can't just have you." She turned towards him.

[F/n] gestures to herself angrily through her cries. "Do you fucking get it now?! I'm in LOVE with you— that's why I need to get the hell away from you. I want to be something more to you but you'll only ever see me as your subordinate."

She shouted, adrenaline coursing through only heighted by her emotional outburst.

Mammon grabs her despite her struggling with his lower pair of hands, leaning over and forcing her to allow him to clean her face.

He absorbs her tears through the material of his upper pair of gloves with gentle strokes.

She grips his wrists with enough force that'd dislocate them if he were any other sinner. He felt her tremble against him.

How could he not notice her pain before?

How long ago did she start feeling this way?

There was a pool of regrets swimming in his chest and among them the biggest was not erasing her doubts sooner.

"What fuckin' nonsense have ya' been telling y'reself this entire time? I'm smitten with ya' dollface."

"You're a king sin— hell you outed Asmodeus for dating someone beneath him, how am I any different from that? People would think you're a hypocrite."

"Ya' think I give a remote fuck about what these cunts think? I'm the richest fucker in all o' hell, I didn't get here caring about what some bitch thinks o' me. I don't really give a flying shit about Asmodeus fuckin' some circus imp."

[F/n] immediately becomes less resistant to his advance. [E/c] eyes staring up at him in disbelief.

She searched desperately for any indication he was lying.

Mammon cups her jawline.

"I dunno how ya' haven't realized how obsessed I am with ya'... Thought it was reaaal obvious: I mean for fuck's sake I don't wanna be anywhere without ya'. Everything I do is with you." Mammon sighed nervously.

He lifted her in her arms, bringing down his face to gently set his forehead onto hers.

He didn't entirely recognize it before, but now that the cat was out of the bag it was so painfully apparent.

Everything he did was by her, to her, and for her. He found himself more temperamental and bored in the situations he had to exist without her. The cogs in his head finally spun, blushing for a mere moment as he finally admitted it out loud. 

"I'm obsessed with ya princess. I'm fuckin' crazy over you."

If her heart pounded any faster she was sure she'd pass out.

Her eyes glued to the tiny white slits in the sea of bright green within his eyes.

They both glance down at each other's lips then back at their gaze.

Immediately realizing what the other was doing, they both smash into each other desperately. Mammon felt a firework go off in his head. She was putty in his hands. A little butterfly caught in his web.

He growled.

[F/n] caresses his features, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks and pulling him closer.

A surge of electricity runs through his expression and tickles hers affectionately. It courses her hands and down her arms eagerly. 

Mammon drags his bicolored tongue across her lips, pushing himself in at the slightest gap.

Their tongues dance and with no protest Mammon explores his new territory. Their teeth clatter, Mammon doing his best not to pierce her.

The taste of coffee and pastries still lingered strongly on his saliva. Their tongues dance, aching. It's as if they couldn't get close enough to one another, both feverishly pushing into each other craving every bit of contact the other could provide.

Pleased with her submission, he makes way back into his room.

Massaging her ass with his upper pair of hands and grabbing onto her heels with the other. [F/n] releases a muffled moan.

Mammon breaks the kiss first, glancing at the spirit trail that still connected them. He licks the drool from his lips, savoring their long overdue tension-breaker.

He steals a few more pecks before taking a seat on his bed, holding onto her. He brushed a strand of her [h/c] hair out of her face.

Mammon chuckled softly, enamored with the bright hue on her complexion: gaze hungry.

Mammon stares at her. Unmoving. As his breathing very audibly becomes heavier.

It takes him a painful few seconds to snap out of his own trance.

"As much as I wanna fold ya' in my bed and have ya' take care of my stiffy— y're injured and need to rest princess."

"Oh come the fuck on Ammo, I'm fine!" [F/n] pouts, huffing while trying to feel him up through his clothes.

She slinks downwards to attempt and grind against the growing tent underneath his layers of clothes to entice him.

Mammon with every bit of self control in his body, has none of it, interwinding her hands into his instead with force as he pulls her back up to steal another peck.

"I love y're excitement but I will hurt you."

"You're no fun."

"You'll fuckin' get what you want later... Needy whore."

He scoots closer into bed.

Mammon snaps his fingers. A puff of green surround both of them, clearing quickly to reveal he had changed them into their sleepwear. He smiles softly.

His blanket flies over them as he adjusts more comfortably, plopping [F/n] on his chest.

[F/n] coils into a ball, purring happily while nuzzling herself into the crook of his neck. She quickly settles. His hand reaches to pet her hair lovingly, listening patiently as her purring gradually became more distant overtime until she drifted off entirely. 

Mammon sighed with satisfaction, captivated, only then closing his eyes. "Y're gonna stay mine forever." 

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss mammon #mammon x reader #helluva boss #Helluva boss mammon x reader #Helluva boss x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #x reader #reader insert #fem reader #mammon x you #mammon x y/n #mammon helluva boss #mammon apologist

[faexfilms]

Say Yes to Me | Modern Ani! AU

Pairing: Anakin Skywalker/ reader

Summary: Anakin ends up going with you to a college Halloween party only after he sees the risqué costume you chose to wear, only to get jealous and take you back to your apartment…(friends to lovers)

Warnings: (Fluff, a wee bit of angst, jealousy, slight degradation, p in v sex, smut, kinda cockwarming?)

Word count: 4.6k (idek how that happened)

@queenie-official was the one that gave the original prompt of modern Ani going with you to a Halloween party and getting jealous and the idea was too good to resist!

✧･ﾟ:*

"And you really think that's a good idea?" Anakin asked teasingly, his eyes settling on the bathroom door to your apartment. Trying to ignore the small glimpses of skin he saw from the crack you left open so you could hear him as you changed. Watching as you moved around, assembling different pieces of the costume that you wouldn't tell him about.

You tightened the white corset you were wearing around your waist as you looked in the mirror, leaning into the sink to give your makeup a quick onceover. "Why not? It's a Halloween party, it's not like I'm giving up my soul."

He ignored your sarcasm as he absentmindedly focused on the door, thoughts running through his mind. You knew he disliked halloween, yet you didn't understand the full extent as to why. You just assumed it was a part of his usual grumpy and antisocialness so you didn't question that too much. But you did question why he was so hesitant about you dressing up and going to a college party.

"I wouldn't say that..." He disagreed as he held your childhood teddy bear within his hands. Throwing it up into the air and catching it as he waited for you to be done already, him going a little stir crazy from just sitting out here waiting.

You rolled your eyes as you finally opened the door, turning off your bathroom light as you came to stand by your full length mirror. Adjusting the short piece of fabric sitting atop your thighs, feeling the lengthily fabric billow behind you as you moved across your room. "You're so overdramatic, lighten up...You're only a college student once in your life, you might as well enjoy it."

You could hear the scoff he let out before he looked over to your form a few feet away from him. Seeing the costume that you had been hiding from him for weeks, knowing that he wouldn't like it. And that was enough to stop any smart retort coming out of his mouth.

You missed the way his eyes rolled down you body, looking at the back of your bare thighs above your black sheer knee-high socks, seeing a small glimpse of your cleavage in the mirror above your ruffle like top, the way your corset pushed your boobs even more together. He almost stopped breathing.

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

His eyebrows furrowed intensely as he looked at you, his voice raising ever so slightly as he watched you drag your fingers through the curls in your hair, separating them as you didn't even spare him a a glance. You knew he would act like this and yet you wore what you wanted to anyway. He wasn't going to stop you.

"It's called a costume, dimwit..." You shrugged innocently, meeting his eyes in the mirror as he sat on your bed.

"Not like that...No way..." He shook his head, speaking more to himself than he was to you. Not even forming a coherent sentence, just stating his disapproval.

You sighed as you finally turned around to look at him, narrowing your eyes at him as he sat at full attention on the edge of your bed, his big hands settled on his knees as he sat with his legs spread. "Too bad."

You looked him right in his pouty little eyes, knowing that they wouldn't work on you. Speaking to him to make sure that he heard you before grabbing your matching boots, sitting on the other side of the bed as you began to lace them up. Ignoring his eyes on you.

He could always be protective of you, he's known you forever so you understood it to a certain extent but he was too protective. He didn't want to risk you in anyway so often, he decided he was the boss of you. You just had to remind him he wasn't.

"What are you even supposed to be anyway? A sexy pirate that just so happens to be missing majority of her layers?"

"No." You scoffed, bringing up your leg so you could finish lacing the rest of it. Tying a small knot on the shoe lace. "Haven't you ever seen the movie 'Jonah Hex'?"

He was incredibly silent so you met his eyes, seeing the way he was looking at you in complete disagreement. His eyes narrowed and judging as he shook his head in disapproval at you.

"Well, the movie doesn't really matter. But Lilah Black isn't a pirate at all...She's just a 19th century, gun slinging prostitute played by Megan Fox...And this is relatively tame, I could've dressed up worse than this so just be thankful I went this route." You retorted, a small playful smile appearing on your lips as you finally finished tying your other boot, setting your legs down and looking over at Anakin.

He was silent yet again for a moment, looking at you with his eyebrows raised at the mere mention of the word 'prostitute' and his eyes settled on yours even more intensely. "That doesn't make me feel better..."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his response, getting up from your bed and walking over to stand in front of him, smiling playfully as you held your hand out to him. "Care to walk me to my car, dear sir?"

He narrowed his eyes at you again, not budging from his seat against your covers as he looked at you. Your arms and the top of your thighs on show. Your pouty lips, you dark eyes hooded in shadowy makeup. He had half the mind to grab ahold of you and keep you here until the night was over. But the longer you stared at him with those electrifying eyes and tainted lips that were curved into a smile, his hold on himself eventually caved.

He let out a small exasperated gruff as he grabbed your hand within his own, fighting the grin at the corner of his lips at your usual antics as he stood up from the bed, letting go of your hand just as soon. Looking down at you from his 6'0 frame heatedly as he stood so close to you.

Your breath caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you, not finding the words to say anything. Goosebumps at the sheer intensity of his stare appearing on your forearms. Wondering if this was the moment he finally kissed you like so many times you imagined before, your wishful and naive thoughts clouding your mind. Even when he reached behind you, grabbing your car keys, you still felt like you couldn't move. Couldn't breathe...

"I'm driving you..."

————

As much as you protested, Anakin ended up going in with you. Even though he said he wasn't going a week ago, even though he wasn't even wearing a costume, he walked by your side as you entered the doors.

You eventually got him to stop crowding you when you offered to go get him a drink, making your way into the kitchen and grabbing two beers from the fridge. A friend of yours was the throwing the party, so it wasn't so crazy. But there were still loads of people and music blaring from the speakers stationed in the living room, making it a bit of a hassle just to get to the kitchen. So after you grabbed the two beers, you had to mentally prepare yourself to squeeze past everyone on your way back to Anakin.

You sighed, holding the cold cans within your hands as you opened the door, beginning your way back out into the party before you almost walked into someone, instantly getting out of their way and moving off to the side.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry." You laughed softly, holding the door open for the guy to walk in, holding the cold beers in your left arm and against your abdomen, the corset thankfully blocking the coldness from the cans.

"Don't worry, about it. I'm sorry too, I didn't see anyone else come in here so I didn't expect that. Sorry I almost hit you." He gave you a small apologetic smile as he held his costume mask in his hand, looking you in your eyes so you knew he was sorry too.

"No, you're all good. It happens..." You waved it off, pushing the door open as you gave him one last look, holding your beers in your arm as you were about to walk out the door. Turning your heel as you pushed the door open further, retreating in the doorway backwards.

"Hey, I have art history with you, don't I?" He asked suddenly, making you revert your attention back to him as you held the door open for yourself, letting your body hold it open as you looked back at him. Taking in his features for a moment.

"Oh yeah...You're the guy that sits third row, right? Mark I think..." You smile softly, raising your eyebrow at him as you gave him an unsure look.

He nodded, letting out a small laugh as he looked down at your costume. "Yeah...That's quite a costume you got there."

You weren't sure if he was being playful or if he was flirting with you so you just stood there, deciding to play it safe. Not necessarily sure how he meant it. "Thank you...And you've got quite the costume there yourself, Jason Voorhees."

Mark chuckled, giving you an expectant look as he smiled playfully. "Now what gave it away?" He asked, looking over at you as you still stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

You smiled at his playful question, giving him a small onceover before answering him. "The mask in your hand, the blood-stained jacket...And the fact that I was forced to watch Freddy vs. Jason as a young child." You laughed, holding the beers closer to your chest because you didn't want to drop them.

"Ah, I see...So you have decent taste in movies." He countered, his eyes not leaving yours as he stepped a little closer to you, without a doubt flirting with you now. His gaze fixated on you deeply.

You felt someone place their hand on your arm, making you look backwards to see an annoyed Anakin glaring daggers at Mark across from you. "Yes she does." Ani replied to him for you, giving Mark a long lasting look before he finally met your confused eyes. His hand wrapping around your arm tighter as he met your gaze. "We're going now."

You didn't even have time to say anything to Mark as Anakin dragged you out of the doorway, weaving you through the people in the living room messily, making you bump into a few people a mutter apologies as you went. Trying to hold onto your temper until you two were alone.

And when he finally pulled you outside, you pushed the stupid beers in his arms, looking him right in the eyes as your eyebrows furrowed in anger at his attitude.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"What do you mean 'what is my problem'? He was all over you, of course that was my problem. I let you go for two minutes and some guys was already on you. This is why I didn't want you to go!" He said roughly, walking over to your car and he spared looks at you, throwing the beers in your backseat after he swung the drivers door open, still holding onto your keys.

"So what? It happens! That's life. It doesn't matter if some guy's all over me, it's none of your goddamn business!" You retorted, looking over at him from across the hood of your car as he leaned on the open door.

"Of course it's my business. Everything's my business when it comes to you." He huffed, his eyes narrowing as he looked at you from across the car.

You were so done in that moment, you couldn't even say anything else. You hated fighting with him, you didn't want to prolong it. You just wanted to go home and be alone. As much as you wanted to challenge his words, as much as you wanted to smack him across the face, you just rubbed the side of your face out of exhaustion, no even looking at him as you opened the passenger door to your car. Sitting down and slamming the door after you, your gaze fixated forward on the dark street and the cars ahead of you.

"Just drive me home."

He let out a small huff of disbelief at your actions, standing for a good few minutes at the door before he sat down, looking over at you with an expression on his face you didn't understand before he finally started the car.

The drive back home was utterly silent, as was the walk back up to your apartment as he followed you back up, still not even looking at him as he trailed behind you. Opening the door for yourself and practically letting it hit him square in the face as you sauntered over to your living room couch, settling down on top of it. Ignoring the uncomfortable feel of the corset of your costume pushing into your ribcage ever so slightly as you sat. Your gaze blurred as you just sat there silently, ignoring Anakin's presence as he closed the door behind him, grabbing his own car keys after he set yours down on your kitchen counter.

He kept looking at you, his sad little eyes taking in your faraway expression as he kept opening his mouth to say something, only to end up closing it. Words on the tip of his tongue as he stood staring at you for a small moment, finally just shaking his head at your willingness to ignore him before he quickly just walked over to your door. Raking his hand through his hair as he reached his other hand up to the door knob, not even grasping it in his fingers before he turned around.

"And you don't even wanna know why?" He spat out, prompting you to finally look at him for the first time within the past few minutes. Your eyes meeting his as he stood a few feet away.

A sigh escaped your lips as you finally met his eyes, your resolve crumbling ever so softly as you saw how serious he was about this, not even knowing where this was going. "Why?"

Your voice came out soft as you stared up at him, watching him as he leaned against your door, huffing softly as he crossed his arms over his chest. Building up the courage to say what he really wanted to say.

"Because he wasn't me..."

When you just stared at him, your eyebrows furrowing and your posture slumping against your couch, no words coming out of your mouth, he was scared. But at the same time, he knew there wasn't any going back.

"The thought of you with anyone else makes me sick, knowing that you'll end up with some fool who isn't good for you, that can't give you what you want, it hurts...Knowing that I can't kiss you, that I can't hold you like you need, it's make me feel inferior in a way I can't even describe. The thought of not being with you, not having you like I wanted to all these years...I can't breathe."

You could feel your heart beating in your chest, thumping loudly in your own ears as you couldn't even find the words. The way he spoke to you making everything else feel hazy, the way tears threatened to spill down your eyes at the mere passion of his words. But you didn't let them.

You just sat there for a moment, your eyes softening as you stared at his dejected form across from you before you held your hand out to him silently, watching as a small look passed over his face.

And as his hand finally met yours, you refrained from pulling him down into you but slowly stood up, wrapping your arms around him. Holding him close to your own body as you tried to piece all your emotions together.

"Anakin Skywalker. You're an idiot..." You laughed softly, fighting the tears that still threatened to spill from your eyes. Getting a little choked up as he held you back just as tightly, feeling how much he needed you in his arms. His familiar woody scent washing over you. "But I've always loved you." You finished softly, pulling away gently before you wrapped your hands around his neck. Caressing his skin softly as you looked into his deep blue eyes, all his love for you written all over his face. Finally seeing it after you wished it was there for so long.

You couldn't help but pull his lips against yours, feeling the softness of his lips. Tasting him on your tongue as you pulled him impossibly closer to your body. Needing him in a way you always did.

You barely processed it as Anakin took control, his lips molding with your own as he grabbed your hips, guiding you through the open door way of your room and against the wall, pushing you up against it. Leaning his body against yours as his other hand caressed the base of your neck, his thumb brushing over your bare collarbone as he slowly brought his lips against your soft skin. Trailing them down ever so softly as he leaned his hips into yours. How his pupils bled as he stared down at you.

"You don't know how much I love you..."

The feel of his voice against your sensitive skin sent shivers down your spine, you body feeling like putty in his hands as he caged you against the wall. Desperate for his body on your own. Your neck burned as kissed the sensitive skin, his breath trailing over you as he kissed up your jaw, pulling your lips into his again.

His tongue brushed across your bottom lip as his fingers slowly started undoing the clasps of your corset, sliding it off you body as his tongue caressed your own between your lips. Moaning softly into the kiss as Anakins' hands kneaded your breasts through your costume, pushing his body even further into yours as his fingers trailed down your stomach. Inching further and further down before they wrapped around the back of your thighs. Him lifting you up gently against him before he settled you down on your bed.

His knee rested inbetween you legs as your fingers made their way down his black sweater, pushing them underneath the soft material. Feeling the warmth of his skin against your fingertips as he separated your lips. A small curl resting on his forehead as he leaned down over you, smiling softly as you pushed up his shirt. Feeling his toned muscles as you inched the shirt off of him, him pulling it the rest of the way off of his shoulders, leaving the top of his body bare in front of you.

You couldn't help but return that small smile, bringing you hand up to his neck as your thumb stroked his soft skin of his cheek, making him smile just a little bit harder before he placed a soft chaste kiss to your lips again. Leaving you wanting more as he grasped your bare shoulders in his big hands, smirking as he slowly brought down the straps of the dress to your costume. Trailing his lips down to your chest before he sucked on the gentle skin of your cleavage. Kissing and biting at the supple skin as his eyes trained on yours, watching as you ached into his hold. Your heated eyes meeting his own as he smiled at your overeagerness.

"You don't know how long I've dreamt about this...But seeing you walk out in this earlier, I knew I had to have you tonight. Bet you wore this pretty thing just for me...wanted me to take it off you, didn't you?" He asked teasingly, his dark eyes watching as he trailed his fingers up the skin of your upper thighs. Slowly and steadily bunching up the little fabric covering your panties from him. Pushing up your skirt against your hips.

Your body was aching in anticipation, knowing how much you needed this. Knowing how much you wanted him. You didn't want to go slow at all. You had been waiting for this for what felt like forever and you couldn't help but feel impatient, wanting him to already be buried inside of you.

"Yes, Ani...All for you." You said softly, moving your knees a little as you sat up. Giving him a little show of the red lacey panties you put on tonight just for him. Pushing you thighs together as you eased your head up, you hair cascading down on the bed as you looked down at his pink lips. Parting you own as you dared him to connect them again, tempting him even further.

He groaned softly as he looked down at your thighs, seeing the wetness that was just beginning to soak through your red panties. Seeing how much you wanted him as you leaned closer, your body practically on display for him beneath his own. He couldn't even help himself. You were so perfect, so soft, so completely and utterly sexy, he had to have you...

He palmed his hardness through his pants at the sight of your legs, furrowing his eyebrows as he let out a little grunt at the movement. His eyes opening again to look down at you so eager beneath him. All of his restraint leaving his body.

He quickly unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down his thighs before he kicked them off. Looking down at you with intense eyes as he pulled the top of your costume down, revealing your breasts to him.

He couldn't help the small mischievous smile making way onto his face as he grasped them in his hands. Flicking his tongue across the hard peak as his fingers tweaked the other. Looking up at you as you moaned softly, arching into his old as he sucked your nipple into his mouth. Dragging his tongue across it before he moved his mouth over to the other one. Pulling it in between his wet lips as he brought his tongue up against it, smiling softly as your eyes closed in pleasure.

He placed one last kiss against your skin before he pushed the skirt of your dress up around you hips, pulling down you underwear with ease, watching the way you opened you thighs so readily for him. Leaning your head up to pull his lips back to your own.

His kissed you hungrily, his soft lips meeting your own as he groaned against you lips. Pushing his cock against your entrance as you pulled him even closer to you, tasting him against your lips as he slowly pushed into you.

You grimaced slightly at the stretch, your hands clutching the side of his toned abdomen tightly as he eventually bottomed out. Breathing out deeply as he pushed all the way into you.

"Fuck." Anakin couldn't help but curse at the way your cunt clenched around him, tensing his body as he felt your warmth. Your pussy already so wet for him as he slowly began to move, making you gasp as he moved a little too fast. Filling you up too much way too quickly. But even then, you couldn't help but pull him further down into you. Liking the small burn you felt as he filled you up, addicted to the way he felt inside of you. Even when it felt like he hit the top of your stomach, prodding against you, you felt like you needed it. The pain mixing with the pleasure. His scent overwhelming your senses as he thrusted into you at a slow pace.

"Anakin, I need you" You gasped softly, pulling his lips down to yours as he groaned against your lips. Pushing himself farther into you as he tried to control himself, losing all of his senses at the way you wrapped around him. Being inside of you was like touching heaven and he never wanted it to stop he could already feel himself threatening to spill as your cunt needily pulled him in. You were so warm, so wet and desperate for him, he couldn't contain himself.

He pushed harder into you, his eyebrows furrowing as his bare hips met your own, the fabric of your skirt brushing against his stomach as he thrusted into you. Watching as your breasts moved with the intensity of his thrusts, kneading the fullness into his hands again.

Gods, you were so perfect.

"You always need me...But you need me to fuck you more, don't you? Need my cock, you little cock-slut..." He rasped out, groaning overtop of you as you moaned against him. Your legs wrapping around him and pulling his hips deeper into your own. Crying out as he hit a new angle inside of you.

"Ani..." You gasped, clenching around him as you felt him twitch in-between your thighs. Feeling how full he was as he prodded that spot deep inside of you.

You could feel him getting closer with each thrust, bringing you further and further to your own release, that coil in your abdomen almost unbearable as he pounded into you. Feeling yourself almost break loose as he pushed into you hard and rough.

"Fuck, Ani...I'm close, I'm close! Don't stop" You moaned out, gripping his back as he moved overtop of you. Gripping your headboard as his thrusts became increasingly fast paced and sloppy. Wrinkling his forehead and he furrowed his brows intensely, clenching his eyes shut as pushed inside of you. Grunting as you clenched around him again, finally letting go as you let your body relax. Moaning as you came against him.

That was enough for him to break loose, losing himself in the pleasure you brought him as he clenched the headboard tighter. Filling you up with his warm hot cum, fucking it back into you sloppily as he pushed into you though his orgasm. Clutching your hip tight in his hand as you gasped softly at the warmth spreading through your core. Breathing heavily as Anakin finally met your eyes again, them hazily looking back down into your own as his body slumped on yours, him laying down next to you as he pulled you into him. Not even bothering pulling out as he kissed your lips. A small sheen of sweat coating his chest as he pulled you against him, your breasts pushing against his skin.

You kissed him back softly, tasting him on your lips before you pulled away. Resting your forehead on his as he brought his hand to your back, slowly dragging down the zipper to your costume before he gently pulled it from your skin. Giving you a little look before he held you tightly to him again. His bare body against yours as his fingers made way through your long hair, caressing your back softly with his other hand.

"I love you..." Ani said softly, looking down at you as you rested your head against his bare chest. Completely lax in his arms as his fingers brushed through your hair.

You smiled against him, wrapping your arms even tighter around him at his words. Feeling so at home in his arms, right next to his body. Almost like you were two parts of a whole.

"I love you too."

A/N: Not proofread so ignore any mistakes

#anakin skywalker #star wars #star wars anakin #star wars prequels #sw anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin smut #anakin x reader #anakin x you #Anakin/reader #Anakin/you #hayden christensen #anakin imagines

[norris-lando]

you made me feel as though i was enough

Lando Norris x reader

warnings: slight angst

author’s note: This is sooo short, I'm sorry :( I just didn't wanna make it feel like it was dragged on forcefully. Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

word count: 674

summary: in which Lando had a bad day and reader is trying to comfort him

This was requested by @navia3000 (original request can be found here)

It had been a rough day. It was rough for Lando who was driving and it was rough for you to watch from the sidelines. The sprint hadn't gone to plan and the GP was no better. To be honest, the whole weekend was one big shitshow. For everyone.

The post race interviews were hard to watch. You knew the interviewer's were just doing their jobs but it pained you to see Lando up there, so broken by the questions. You wanted to run up there and pull Lando into your arms and to hold him and never let go.

You were fidgeting, your legs bouncing whenever you sat down. But when that felt too hard, you paced around the room as you waited for Lando. You were sure you were going to burn a hole on the ground with the way you were going. But you didn't care. All you cared about was seeing Lando and hoping there was a way to make him feel better.

After what felt like an eternity, the door to Lando's driver's room opened. Lando stood there, a look of defeat on his face. There droplets of what seemed to sweat dripping down his features. He held his gaze on you for a moment before he let it hang low, falling to the ground.

You hadn't realised it yet but you had come to a sudden halt and now stood still in the middle of the room. The air felt thick and suffocating. You didn't know what to do or what to say.

Lando sighed. He walked in and closed the door after him.

"Oh, baby," you said, rushing over to him. You pulled in for a hug, holding him tightly. Your hands rubbed his back and you could feel Lando push his head deep into the crook of your neck.

Lando tried to say something but his words fell short, muffeled by the your clothes and skin. You could feel his lips moving and you could picture on your mind the sound coming out.

"I know, I know," you whispered. You never let go of him, only tightening your grip with each passing second.

Lando felt like he was suffocating and gently shifted and nudged at you. To show that, even though he appreciated the gesture, he was hoping for you to ease your hold onto him.

You did just that, when you finally realised, what Lando was attempting. And as you pulled away from him, you quickly said 'sorry' to show him it wasn't your intention to smother the poor man.

"It's okay," Lando said in return.

The way his words fell out, made it seem like he could have been referring to your tight gripped hug as well as the day in general. But you knew that this day, this weekend, wasn't 'okay'. None of it was. But that's the way it was. Only thing you could do now was be there for Lando. To support him. To show him that no matter what, he was always your number one.

You felt so bad for Lando. You hated seeing him like this - like everything was falling apart. You sighed and offered a small smile to him.

"You know I love you, right? No matter what. I will always love you so much," you told him. You held Lando's hands in yours, your thumbs going in circles against his skin.

Lando hummed and smiled back at you, "I love you, too, babe."

Suddenly a light bulb went on in your head.

"How about," you started with an excited sound in your voice, "once all this is done, we go do whatever you want?"

"We can go get ice cream and just stay in bed all day long," you trailed off when you saw a bright smile appear on Lando's face.

He pulled you in for a hug, a laugh escaping his lips. Lando gave you a small peck on your cheek before he whispered in your ear, "you always make me feel as though I'm enough."

#formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris #ln4 #writingln4 #writing youmademefeelasthoughiwasenough