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endless-summer-soldier · 20 days

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dr. feelgood - chapter eleven

pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader

summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss

warnings: must be 18+, drinking, some surgery descriptions, smut, self-pleasure, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, PTSD, choking, angst

word count: 3.9k

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It was the morning from hell. I knew the moment I got in my car that it was not going to be a good day, and that turned out to be the case before I even made it into work. Now I was riding to the hospital in an ambulance, straddling a stranger and performing CPR.

“We’re about a minute out,” the EMT who was driving the vehicle called.

“Page Barnes,” I replied, as I counted out my chest compressions. The EMTs were adamant that they could handle the patient, but I wasn’t leaving his side and I was determined to keep him alive. I heard the doors to the ambulance open and the EMTs carefully unloaded the gurney keeping it as smooth as possible for me to work.

“What the hell…Y/N?” I heard. It was the first time he had spoken to me in weeks.

“Male in his forties, partially deaf. He was walking in a crosswalk and was hit head on by a car. He’s got a broken femur and has been in and out of consciousness with a really weak pulse.”

Bucky turned to the interns and said, “Take over for Y/L/N and get him to CT.”

One of the interns came over to the patient’s side to take my place and I replied, “I’ve got it.”

“Y/N, you’re bleeding,” Bucky stated firmly.

I turned toward him, “I’m fine,” I argued.

“You need to be examined.”

“Bucky,” I pleaded. He just shook his head and held out his hand. I knew arguing was no use, he could easily pull me down and I didn’t need a reminder of what it felt like to be in his arms. I climbed toward the side and took his hand as I jumped down.

“Go take an empty bed, I’ll send someone in to check on you.”

“I’m fine, I don’t need-”

“Let’s make sure, okay?” His eyes were full of concern, and I didn’t have it in me to argue with him, even if I disagreed. I nodded and he moved with the gurney into the pit.

“Buck?” I called before he could get too far. He stopped and turned back towards me. “Please don’t let him die.”

“He’s not going anywhere. I promise.” Bucky ran to catch up with his team. I thanked the EMTs and then found an empty station in the ER where I waited and hoped for the best..

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed since our arrival, but eventually Dr. Wilson came by.

“Hey there, Wonder Woman,” Sam said, approaching the bed I was sitting on.

“Wonder Woman?” I replied.

“Oh that’s what they’re calling you now.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a hero. And a badass.”

I scoffed, “I was in the right place at the right time.”

“Yet you still managed to get scratched up,” he put on a pair of gloves. “What happened?”

I sighed, “I was driving to work and came to a stop at a redlight. The car next to me was looking to the left to make a right turn and accelerated, not seeing the pedestrian in the crosswalk. Clint, he’s the guy who got hit, he’s partially deaf and didn’t hear the car coming. The guy hit the accelerator pretty hard and didn’t break until he saw Clint hit the windshield.”

“That doesn’t explain how you got glass in your forehead.”

“I pulled over to the right to help out and the guy who started the accident backed up and hit my car.”

“Jesus. Was he drunk?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t really talk to him.”

“So what did you do?”

“I yelled for someone to call 911 and started to examine Clint. At first he was in shock, but he was responsive. So I asked him his name and about his job and his life to calm him down. He probably has a concussion. He kept losing consciousness and his pulse was really weak so they need to look at his heart too.”

“He’s already been taken in for scans.”

“Is he stable?”

“He’s stable.”

I eased at that, feeling better already.

“Now sit still. I’m going to pull out this glass from your forehead. Then I’ll clean out the lacerations and stitch you up.”

Sam started pulling out small pieces of crushed glass and placed them into a bowl. All the shards were pretty small, but it was still painful. I tried to keep the wincing to a minimum but it wasn’t comfortable. Talking seemed like a good way to keep me distracted from the pain.

“So they sent the head of plastics to come tend to a couple scrapes on my forehead.”

Sam chuckled, “Bucky wanted to do it himself but I wouldn’t let him. You would’ve ended up with two big scars on your pretty little forehead.”

I let out a small smile, “Yeah I don’t think his talents would be best served stitching me up.”

“Stitching? You know that man doesn’t do sutures; you would’ve been glued back together.”

I let out a hearty laugh, knowing Sam was correct. He added, “He wanted the best for you, which is why I volunteered. Told him I’d give you the VIP treatment.”

I sighed, “Just stitch me up so I can go help.”

“I’m sending you to CT after this.”

“What!?”

“You were in a car accident, Y/N. I’d be a bad doctor if I didn’t order you a head CT.”

“I don’t have any symptoms!”

“You’re also running on adrenaline. Just get the scans done and we’ll figure out next steps from there”

“Fine.” I was getting used to not getting my way today.

“Sit tight for now. We’ll have someone take you to get your scans shortly.”

“Dr. Barnes, Clint’s back from CT. He seems much more stable now. Dr. Rogers is in there examining his femur,” one of the interns provided him an update. He thanked him and headed back to Clint’s room. Sure enough, Steve was in there, examining the break in his leg and studying the chart. Bucky knocked on the open door before walking through to his patient.

“Mind if I interrupt?” he said.

“Not at all,” Steve said.

“Hi Clint. I’m Dr. Barnes. I'm head of the trauma team and I’ve been overseeing your care since you got here.”

“How am I looking, doc?”

“You’re doing really well. Dr. Rogers here is going to take you into surgery to repair your femur. You have a little bit of internal bleeding that we’re gonna fix up while you’re in there. As long as everything goes smoothly, you should be able to live a perfectly normal life.”

He let out a sigh of relief, “Thank God she was there.”

“Dr. Y/L/N?” Steve asked.

“Is that Y/N?” Clint asked.

“She’s one of our best” Steve confirmed with a nod.

“She was so badass. She came out of nowhere and took complete control of everything. I was freaking out and she just came over, started talking to me and calmed me down. She was yelling out commands to everyone and insisted the ambulance take us here. She stayed with me the whole time. It was amazing.”

“Sounds like Y/N,” Bucky said.

“Is she single? Do you think she’d go out with me? I figure I owe her dinner at the very least.”

Steve eyed Bucky and raised an eyebrow, forcing Bucky to answer that question.

“I…uh…I don’t know. You’d have to ask her.”

“If you see her, would you mind sending her in? So that I can thank her.”

Steve could see Bucky growing jealous and he hoped it might knock some sense into his friend.

“Yeah, I think she’s getting some scans done,” was all Bucky could muster. Steve jumped in to review the plan for surgery and let Clint know they were currently prepping the OR for him. Bucky excused himself and went to check on Y/N before he had to scrub in.

After what seemed like ages, all my scans were done and I sat there half-watching soap operas, waiting for the results. I heard the curtain pull back and figured it was Sam with my results.

“Can I go?” I whined. When I turned toward the visitor, I was surprised to find it wasn’t Sam at all. It was Bucky. “Hi…” I managed.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, looking at my chart.

“I’m fine. How’s Clint?”

“He’s good. We’re about to take him down to surgery. Steve is going to fix his femur and he has a little internal bleeding so we’re going to patch that up.”

“So he’ll be okay?”

“He should be fine.”

“Good.”

“He was asking about you.”

“Really?”

“Sounds like you did a great job at the scene.”

I gave him a half smile, “Thanks.”

“I got your scans back and everything looks good. Just take it easy the next few days. Sam will keep an eye on your lacerations and will remove your stitches in five days.”

“So I can go?” I asked.

He nodded, “I’ll sign your discharge papers. But you are going home. You aren’t sticking around here.”

I wanted to protest, but I knew he was probably right. He placed my chart back on the edge of the bed and turned to go.

“That’s it?”

“What, did you have questions?”

“Bucky, you haven’t even looked at me these past few weeks and now you’re just gonna act like nothing happened?”

He looked up at the ceiling before looking back towards me, “We’re not doing this.”

“Come on, Bucky. Please talk to me.”

He shook his head, and just walked away, leaving me sitting there, feeling hopeless.

After a few days of restless “rest” I returned to the hospital, hoping to get cleared so that I could clock in for my shift. I had all the nurses page Sam as I anxiously sat in the waiting room.

“You’re a day early,” Sam called as he walked toward the row of chairs.

“I’m actually just a spectacular patient who follows all the doctor’s care instructions.”

Sam gave me a look but sat in an open chair and signaled for me to lean in. He gently placed his hands on my face and tilted my head to study the wound.

“It is healing up pretty nicely. We can get those stitches out today.”

“Yessss,” I celebrated.

“Go pop in one of those empty rooms and I’ll be right in.”

I followed his directions and told the nurses which room I was taking. Sam entered a few moments later with his tools.

He started removing the surgical thread and I couldn’t stand the silence, so I made small talk.

“How is he?” I asked.

“Who Clint? His surgery went well as far as I know. You can probably go see him today.”

“Oh…I, uh, I meant Bucky.”

“Oh,” Sam said, taken by surprise. “He’s uh…he’s Bucky.”

“That’s very helpful,” I said sarcastically.

“Well I don’t know what to say. He’s…he’s not himself.”

“How do I get him to talk to me?” I hated how desperate I sounded, but it reflected how I felt. It was only getting worse for me.

Sam let out a deep exhale. “If I knew the answer to that, I would’ve told you weeks ago.”

“It’s like he’s his own worst enemy.”

“He’s stubborn. But he’ll come around.”

“You think?”

Sam shrugged, pulling out the last of the sutures. “One way or another.”

His response was vague, but he left before I could question him further.

Once Sam officially cleared me, I changed into my scrubs. Before I officially clocked into my shift, I went to check on Clint. He was recovering for a few days in the hospital before he’d be released. I poked my head in the door and found Steve in the room, doing a quick check up.

“There’s my hero,” Clint said, smiling at me. I blushed and looked down before smiling back.

“Am I interrupting?” I asked Steve.

“No, you can come in.”

I stepped into the room and walked over to Clint’s side.

“How are you feeling?” I asked him.

“Much better now.”

I smiled at him and then turned to Steve, “He’s doing okay?”

Steve nodded, “He’s doing great.”

“I told you I’d get you the best care,” I said to Clint.

“I think you gave me the best care. Without you, I don’t know that I’d be here.”

“Well, I guess we’ll never know,” I smiled. Clint grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Hey, so this situation has obviously had a big impact on me and I can’t thank you enough for everything you did”

“You don’t have to thank me. This is my job,” I replied.

“I know, but you made sure I was in good hands and taken care of. And I know I would regret it if I didn’t do this so I have to ask…would you like to go to dinner with me on Friday?”

I was shocked, not expecting this. Clint was a good looking man, and he would probably make a great boyfriend. But I wasn’t ready to give up on Bucky.

“Like…on a date?” I asked for clarification.

“Yeah, a date,” he said confidently. I was looking at Clint but I could feel Steve’s eyes on me as I responded.

I placed my other hand on Clint’s, so that his hand was sandwiched between mine, “Clint, I am so flattered, but I’m not really in a place to date at the moment.”

“Is Friday not a good time? Because I’m flexible, we could do Saturday. Or whenever you’re free really.”

I smiled at him, “It’s not the day. I just…” I considered my words carefully, “my heart belongs to someone else.” I kept my focus on Clint, not able to handle Steve’s knowing glance.

“Ah, of course you have a boyfriend. Lucky bastard.”

“But I’ll still swing by and make sure you’re doing okay before you’re discharged.”

Clint gave my hand a sweet kiss and said, “I will always be so grateful for you Y/N. I wish you all the happiness in the world.”

“Same to you Clint. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, don’t waste it.” With that, I released his hand and stepped out of the room.

Once Sam finished removing Y/N’s stitches, he knew he had to find Steve. Sam had a busy morning ahead of him and was grateful when he ran into Steve pouring a cup of coffee in the resident’s lounge on his break.

“We gotta do something,” Sam said.

“About what?” Steve asked, sipping on his java. Sam gave him a look that said it all. “Bucky and Y/N?” Steve added.

Sam nodded, “He’s miserable and she’s still pining. And I don’t know how much longer I can watch this.”

“I feel the same way. Two idiots in love.”

“So what do we do?”

Steve thought for a moment “We need to get them in the same place at the same time. That’s not the hospital.”

“And has alcohol,” Sam added.

“But not Pym’s. Somewhere more…private.”

“Can we get her to Bucky’s house?” Sam asked. A wide grin spread over Steve’s face.

“No, but I think we can get her to mine…”

I rang the doorbell of the house, feeling slightly nervous. This was my first “work” party and I had no idea what to expect. Honestly. I was surprised that I was even invited. I had been working with Steve on ortho all week and it had been going well. Still, I wasn’t expecting an invitation to his housewarming party. I wasn’t really looking forward to the party, but wanted to make an appearance. At the very least, I thought I might see Bucky in a somewhat normal setting where I could maybe corner him and force a conversation.

What I did not expect was for Bucky to answer the door. I’m sure I looked stunned as I said, “Oh, hi.”

“Hi…” he said, as if seeking an explanation. He was dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, and he was barefoot.

“Am I early?” I asked him.

Now he looked thoroughly confused. “Early for what?”

“The housewarming party…” Bucky was still squinting in confusion, so I added, “Steve told me to bring gin…”

Bucky shook his head, “Um, Steve isn’t here. And he’s lived in this house for three years.”

Now it was my turn to look confused. “...What?”

Bucky sighed, “This is a set up.”

Again, I said, “What?”

“They meddled. They’re forcing us together.”

“So…why are you here then?”

“I’m dog-sitting for Steve.”

“Oh,” I said, finally realizing what had happened. Despite being fooled, I didn’t feel embarrassed. And I didn’t want to go home just yet.

“So….can I come in?” I asked. Bucky looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. “I have gin,” I cheesed, holding up the full bottle of Tanqueray.

He bit back a smile and opened the door wider, allowing me to come inside. I was immediately met by a smiling golden retriever. I placed the gin on a nearby table and crouched down in order to give some love to the pup.

“This is Liberty,” Bucky introduced.

“Hello Liberty!” I exclaimed, scratching her behind the ears as she happily panted. She quickly laid onto her back and I started scratching her belly, as she rolled around happily.

“She’s so sweet,” I commented.

“Yeah, she is pretty great.” Bucky was a few feet away in the kitchen and asked, ‘Do you want something to drink?” I picked up the Tanqueray and brought it over to him.

“Just a gin and tonic or gin and soda. Whatever Steve has.” I slid the bottle across the counter toward him as he pulled out two glasses.

“So tequila is for celebrating, whiskey is for wallowing…what is gin for?” he asked, as he poured a generous amount of gin into each of the glasses. He topped the drinks off with a little bit of tonic and then sliced up a lime and placed a wedge into each glass.

“Gin is for…heart-to-hearts,” I offered. He eyed me cautiously before handing me one of the glasses. I held it up, waiting for him to meet my glass, and eventually he did. Once we clinked, we both took a sip, and then stood there awkwardly in the kitchen.

“Are you ready to talk to me?” I offered, not wanting to waste any more precious time.

He shook his head, “Not really.”

I took a seat at the kitchen island and pulled out another stool, signaling for him to sit. He looked at the seat before finally giving in and sitting down next to me.

He turned to look at me and yet again I said, “Hi.” This was turning into my catch phrase around him. But I uttered it now because I wasn’t sure where to start.

Bucky let the slightest bit of a smile show and said, “Hi.” He broke eye contact and stared into his drink, and I realized I might need to nudge him a bit more.

“Look, if you’re not ready to talk about what happened, that’s okay. But I can’t take the silent treatment anymore. I’m going crazy and I don’t know how to help you.”

He let out a deep breath, “I’m not good at opening up...”

“Then just…tell me about your day.” He peered back up at me, uncertain and I shrugged, “We’ve gotta start somewhere.”

And so he did. He told me about the cases he had and I interjected with a cheeky comment every now and then to try and ease some of the tension, which surprisingly worked. Talking with him was always so easy and I just wanted to remind him of that. As the story of his day winded down, I took the liberty of refilling the now empty glasses with gin. I placed the fresh drink in front of Bucky and pushed, “Tell me about the PTSD.”

He surprised me when he didn’t argue. He mentally prepared by gulping down a third of his fresh drink.

“When I first got back from Afghanistan, it was pretty bad. It mostly manifested when I went to bed, in the form of night terrors. It was really terrible for a while. I would wake up in the morning surrounded by feathers with a knife in my bed, having attacked one of my pillows because I thought it was an enemy. I literally would walk through the house looking for weapons in my sleep. After that, I started locking the door and seeing a therapist who helped me work through a lot of it. And I started to get better. I still had the occasional nightmare, but I was able to manage it. I started to feel like myself again. I could get through most days without a flashback and I wasn’t constantly haunted by memories.”

I could see him starting to get emotional, so I reached out for his hand.

“Seeing you, with those marks on your neck, was evidence that I’m still broken. We’re lucky that this time it was just my hands and not a knife or a baseball bat. I can’t risk something happening to you.”

“Bucky, you are more than your PTSD. Did you ever consider that maybe we could work through this together?” I offered. He didn’t look at me, focusing all his energy on the drink in front of him. “You just pushed me away without even considering our options.”

“I was trying to protect you.”

“Bull. Shit. Things got tough and you bailed. Did you know I pulled you out of your haze? You had your hands around my neck and I was able to stop you and bring you back. So I believe we can work through this. Maybe it's locking the doors at night. Maybe we don’t have sleepovers for a little while. I don’t know the solution, but I’m willing to figure out something that works.”

“Y/N…” he sighed.

“No, don’t do that. Don’t give up on us.” Now I was starting to get emotional. My voice cracked as I continued. “You know we have something special. Hell, you knew before I did. And I resisted against this the best I could because I didn’t want to get distracted. Which backfired because trying not to think about you was more distracting than just succumbing to your charms. But I figured it out and I opened myself up to something more and just when I finally accept that I’m falling in love, this happens. And the thing that hurts the most is how quickly you decided to throw this away. To throw…me…away,” the last line came out as a whisper.

Bucky bore his eyes into his drink, unable to watch her tear up and in so much pain, knowing he caused all of this. It felt like a lose-lose situation, either way she ended up hurt. At least if he pushed her away, she still had the chance to live a happy life.

I wiped away a stray tear with the heel of my hand and took a big sip of my drink, trying to distract myself from the feelings creeping up inside me. When I looked over at Bucky, he was frozen but there was no emotion behind his eyes. He was fixated ahead, refusing to look at me. That was the moment I realized this was a lost cause. There was nothing else I could say.

I let out the deep breath I didn’t realize I was holding and placed my near-empty glass on the counter.

“Okay then,” I said, collecting the few things I brought with me. “Goodbye, Bucky.”

#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes doctor au #bucky barnes slow burn #bucky barnes series

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harold231 · 3 years

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It wasn't real

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Posted: 04/30/2021

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None? Maybe a lil angst just a lel bet.

A/N: I think it might be good? Idk You let me know. But like frfr, don't just give me feedback in your mind, put it into words. Also I apparently have a thing for Bucky in a dotted apron soooo yeah.

FYI: time zone/era is open for interpretation. Bucky never became an avenger/soldat and steve isn't part of this one.

The wind that blew around you was warm and sweet with the scent of freshly bloomed flowers. Perhaps it was an act of kindness from some God trying to distract you from the cold bitterness settling into your bones. Closing your eyes you conjure the very memory that left you so desolate.

The sun snuck it's way through the curtains to illuminate the room, effectively disturbing the sleep that you always seemed to be craving. Waking up is always hassle but whenever you remember that you get to spend your day with the only person who tolerates you and you him, getting out of bed is the easiest thing. Bucky is crazy and the damn boy is never in one spot for to long and he always has something to say, but you can't imagine how boring your days would be if you guys had never met. well technically if your parents had never met.

When you were a child you parents had to move to new york for business and they decided that Brooklyn was the place to be. You had been Bucky's neighbor and the first day you guys moved in his mom had dragged him over with the most delicious angel food cake that he so proudly claimed to have made mostly on his own. He just loved cooking and baking since forever, he would tell you that he just liked experimenting with foods but you knew the truth was that the boy liked to eat and didn't have the patience to wait for his mother to come home.

Only a few years after your family had moved to Brooklyn you and Bucky had already built an unbreakable bond. You guys had found a beautiful cherry tree one day when playing tag and had deemed it to be your's and Bucky's spot. Whenever you had a bad day or needed time away from the world you guys would go to the tree and just pick cherries, in the winter time you and Bucky would lay under the tree and kick the trunk so that the snow would fall from the leaves. It was the place where at only 15 years old bucky swore he would open his own Bakery and to quote him "I'm serving my ma's food my way doll, It's gonna be the next best thing to hit New York."

You were laying on the ground with your hands crossed behind your head looking up at Bucky swinging upside down from a branch when he told you all this. You felt something you had never felt before at that moment, looking up at the wild haired boy who loved to eat, loved his family, and had the most ambition you had ever heard from kids your age. Your heart felt full and your cheeks grew warm as you looked up at the same blue eyes you had know for years now, only this time you notice the way they twinkle in the sunlight and how rosy his lips are. Now 7 years laters you and Bucky were preparing to open the very bakery he promised you he'd open. Banners were beautifully strung along the walls and cute retro china was set out, ready to be filled for opening day. There was no hesitation from you when Bucky had asked you to run the bakery with him, you were excited to spend your days with the person you hoped you would spend the rest of your life with.

At around 6:30 in the morning you had arrived at the bakery but it seemed that Bucky had beat you to it. The smell of fresh angel food cake and cocoa danced up your nose as soon as you opened the door. Closing your eyes you smiled at the memories that it brought back. Moving to the back you grabbed your Disney themed apron and placed your bag and coat in its place before scurrying over to the kitchen while trying (and failing) to tie your apron. There in all his dorkiness was Bucky wiggling around to the chordettes. He knew that you loved the 50's aesthetic so he found a way to incorporate it without going overboard, by adding little trinkets, a jukebox, and even those cute little dining tables. In fact at the moment he was wearing a ruffly red polka dotted apron as he frosted some cupcakes.

Apron tied, you were finally ready to get to work. You walked up to Bucky bumping his hip as you reached for some cupcake pans, "Whatcha doin here so early Buck, we don't open until 12" he looks at you with squinted eyes, "The hell are you doing here so early." "Woah,woah,woah completely unprovoked. I'm just saying cuz' you were the one complaining about the opening time being set at 8. Like damn." Breathing out a huff of air he wipes his forehead with a towel "I'm sorry doll, I'm just super nervous and I couldn't sleep so I came to start baking things. I already frosted the ice cream cakes and I just finished the pies, but I was thinking that maybe we needed some cupcakes too, even though we already baked so many pastries and stuff last night I'm worried it won't be enough."

Setting down the trays you move to hug Bucky from behind holding him close to you. "Buck I know we'll do great your food is too good to pass up on especially when it's free." You place a soft kiss to his shoulder " I promise you'll do great, everything you do is amazing you try your hardest at everything Buck, You've worked your butt off and made mine considerably larger to get here, don't start losing your mind on me now." A cute little laugh from Bucky lets you know that he's hearing you and he isn't so stressed anymore. "I just want this to be perfect ya know?" with your head still against his back you nod, "I just want it to be a special day for my special girl."

You couldn't stop the slight blush that rose to your cheeks or the way that your heart suddenly started beating three times faster. You had also wanted to make him something special which is why you had got here so early. Finally releasing your hold on Bucky you straighten your apron out before gathering everything you need for some red velvet cupcakes. Bucky loved your red velvet cake so you loved making it for him. After hours of mixing, baking, and frosting had passed, you guys were rewarded with a bakery that looked as great as it smelled. "Alright doll, I'm heading out, I gotta go get ready. Meet you back here at 12 , Love ya." He didn't even give you a chance to answer as he ran right out the door. "Love you too."

You had stayed behind just a little while longer as you perfected your secret project. Carefully you added snowflakes to some of the cupcakes because you knew how much he loved snow even if he hated winter, some cats, flowers that reminded you of bucky, and one extra special cupcake. When you finish you decide to clean up a bit more and prepare some drinks for later before heading home to get ready. As soon as you got home you took a shower and did the simplest of make up with a light pink lip. You had decided to wear a dress to match the blossoming flowers that spring had brought. Pink with a yellow lace trim and flowers embroided all over the dress, matching it with some yellow flats.

You had decided that it was a perfect day for a walk so you grabbed a light scarf and slung it over your shoulders, grabbed Bucky's cupcakes, and headed over to the bakery. You felt as if a Hundred pounds had been lifted from your shoulders knowing that Bucky had felt the same way about you. You had decided that you would tell him today with your special cupcakes. As you rounded the corner you felt giddy and you couldn't wipe the smile from your face no matter how hard you tried. As you reached the bakery you saw that a majority of the people had already arrived and you knew that it would put Bucky at ease to see all the people enjoying his food. You stopped at the window, closing your eyes to take a deep breath to prepare yourself to join the celebration.

Opening your eyes you reached for the handle only to stop at the sight on the other side of the door. Bucky stood there arms wrapped around a woman eyes locked on hers as he leaned in for a kiss. It must have all happened in about 30 seconds but it felt as if time himself had slowed it down for you to watch the way he tilted her head and ran his tongue along her bottom lip before finally uniting their lips. Your heart dropped as quickly as your smile did and suddenly you felt so stupid for thinking this could be real. You willed yourself not to cry as you allowed your legs to carry you anywhere but there.

That's how you found yourself sitting underneath a blossoming cherry tree. A tree that held only happy memories because it wasn't a place you could be sad... back then. With your back against the tree and box of cupcakes full of unrequited love in your lap you realize how much you over romanticized Bucky. Opening the box you decide it would be a shame to let them go to waste. The first one you grab has a big red heart frosted in the middle, you let out a deep sigh before breaking the cupcake right down the middle. You shove half of the cupcake into your mouth and only then do you allow the tears to fall. You sat there for hours crying eating cupcakes, watching the sunset, and thinking about everything that Bucky did for you, as a friend. You realize you had no right to be angry at Bucky, after all you never told him how you felt you just assumed that he would feel the same way after so many years. With every broken memory another cupcake vanished.

He was always there for you, when no one wanted to come to your slumber party Bucky did and he even did all the girly things with you. Painting your nails, doing your hair, watching chick flicks, and pillow fights. once he even asserted that no one could protect you as well as he could, when you had decided to go camping with your friend from class so he insisted on taking you himself. Your friend was most noticeably gay so you had assumed he wanted to spend time alone with you. But now that you think back on those memories these are things that anyone would do for their bestfriend. And that's what you realized 8 hours and 11 cupcakes later.

The moon floated above you and as it's white rays settled upon the lake you decided it might be time to go home now. You get up and dust your dress off before leaning down to grab the mostly empty box. Turning around you are stopped again by what's in front of you. Bucky stands there brows furrowed as his eyes flash from you to the box in your hands. "Where the hell have you been, I've been calling you all day." swallowing the lump in your throat you go to answer but are interrupted. " everyone's been asking me about you all night and I had no damn idea what to tell them, but apparently you were just out here being inconsiderate. You go and tell me I can do great tonight, that you'd be there for me, but you weren't." You try to answer him but are again interrupted. "You could have told me something earlier instead of leaving me there like a dumb-" "SHUT UP!" this time it was your turn to interrupt him.

Taking a deep breath you look into his eyes before explaining. "Of course I was ready to be there today, you think I wore this dress to sit under a damn tree? Well I didn't. When I left my apartment I was ready and I was excited, so excited. I couldn't even stop smiling on my way over, but then I got to the shop and I saw-" Immediately you stopped as you realized what you were about to say. He cocked an eyebrow and shook his head slightly as if to say 'Hello?' "You saw what? What did you see that would make you abandon ship just like that?" Shame flushed through your being and you could no longer keep eye contact. "Nothing, you know what, it doesn't even matter. I'm sorry I was being dramatic I should have been an adult and dealt with it on my own time. And I'm sorry I abandoned you all, but the night was about you anyways."

"The night was supposed to be about the both of us so it does matter if you saw something that made you want to leave. Just tell me doll, what did you see?" his voice is soft as he pleads with you. "I saw... well I saw you kissing that lady and I just wanted get away and ended up here okay!?" You said it all in a jumble hoping that he wouldn't be able to understand what you had said. But luck wasn't your friend so of course he did. "So seeing me kiss another person was so gross to you that you had to run away, what the hell? are you 13 again?" You hadn't admitted it outloud yet and it seemed that the dumbass in front of you was going to force it out of you.

Stepping around Bucky you pull your scarf tight around your body as you focus on not crying anymore until you get home. You distract yourself by thinking of all the love you saw in all the little things Bucky did for you. Dancing around the newly furnished bakery body against body as frank sinatra brought you heart to heart, watching rom-coms and ugly crying together, but by the time you get home you force yourself to face the ugly truth. The Love was always in your head. It wasn't real.

A new wave of tears blurred your vision as teardrops fell perfectly to the ground. "It's because I have feelings for you Bucky, and I now know you don't feel the same way." Sniffling you don't bother looking up because your heart is to broken for that right now. "I'm Just gonna need a little bit of time and I'll be back good as new like nothing even happened." Still unable to lift your gaze from the ground you decide to focus on the last cupcake left in the box. 'I Love You' is written in tiny light blue frosting letters. "I uhm, uhh." That brought your attention to Bucky, as embarrassment pulsed as strong as ever through your veins. " You don't have to say anything Buck, It's fine, I'll see you next week, on monday" you hand him the box as you go to pass him "I think you would have a better use for this than me I ate 11 others already so."

Divider credits: @firefly-graphics

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babybatmunch · 4 years

Text

Peter quoting a vine: "it's either kill or be killed. Whatcha gonna do?. Whatcha gonna do?" Dances lightly.

Bucky: "............"

Bucky: "fucking kill me-"

Steve: ".........buck"

#peterp #peterparker #vine #joke #Genz #haha #headcoN #headcanon #buckyb #buckybarnes

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lovlydovlyjaycie · 3 years

Text

Ævi - Frontlines

Hey again! This will be a continued series. The first Ævi series is in my masterlist and is only four parts. This is going to be a ongoing series, so there is going to be a lot more of Ævi to come. :)

Summary: Y/n or also known as Ævi has lived through varies of world events. Now it is 1941, she has excepted that some things cannot be changed so Loki has convinced Y/n to go to New York and live a normal life, a life Y/n always wanted. Or as normal it can be, because new introductions lead to events that didn’t go down in the history books.

Characters: Bucky Barnes x reader, Loki, Steve Rogers, OC Vera

Warnings: Fluff, language, smut 18+

Part 6

What am I supposed to do? I needed to go to Vera.. There was no question about that. She needed me. But Bucky. I don’t want to leave him and I can’t take him with me. I was pacing around in my hotel room, like that would make everything fall into place. I had told Loki what had happened with Vera and he went to get boat tickets to Norway as soon as possible. But how soon would that be. How much time would I have with Bucky. I needed to pack my things. That made me stop in my tracks and walk over to my closet. I was pulling everything out and placing it in my suitcase. It started of being put in neatly, but soon enough I was throwing everything in with frustration. I was mad, mad at myself for not opening that letter sooner, mad that I had a life here, mad that I now had someone here I didn’t want to leave behind, mad with this stupid war, mad with everything that was happening around it, mad that I couldn’t do anything to about it to change this stupid war. My vision was getting blurry, when I whipped my eyes my hands were wet. I was crying. This wasn’t fair, non of it was, especially to Bucky. I love him, I love him so much. And that’s why it hurts so much. I took a deep breath, trying to gather myself. I stood up and walked to the bathroom to fix whatever make-up was out of place.

Looking at myself in the mirror I was a complete mess. My mascara was everywhere but my lashes. “Get yourself together.” I told myself. Bucky will be here any minute now, can’t be looking like this. I got some wipes and fixed myself up. Put some mare mascara on. “Better. Now stop crying. For Gods sake you’re over a thousand years old.” I said I was looking in the mirror. On the one side this shouldn’t bother me so much, I have lived through so much shit in my time and this is what is causing me to break down. And on the other side, this is who I am. I am human, I am living. With that comes, heartbreak, sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, love. I love love, just since I’ve been with Bucky I felt love in a much more intense way than I ever had before.

How am I supposed to tell Bucky. We literally just got engaged. This should be the start of something, not the end. I don’t even know for how long I’m gonna be away for. A month? A year? Till the end of the war? I closed my eyes. I already knew the answer. It would be until the end of the war. At least four more years. I sighed. It would just be four years without Bucky I tried to convince myself. “Just four years.” That is if he doesn’t join the war. I thought to myself and it made my stomach drop. I put my hand over my eyes. “Nothing will happen to him if he doesn’t join the war. He’ll be fine... He’ll be fine.. He’ll be fine Y/n. Stop worrying.” Scolding myself. I needed to calm down. Then there was a knock at the door. It must be Bucky.

I gave myself one quick look before answering the door. Putting on the best smile I had I opened the door and there was Bucky. Seeing him gave me a genuine smile. It made my stomach do flips. “Hey, darling. You look beautiful.” He said as he gave me a quick peck on my lips. He had his signature smirk on his face. “Thank you.” I told him sincerely. “So I got this for us today.” He said as he pulled two tickets from his pocket. Dancing tickets. “To celebrate our engagement.” He continued. He looked so happy. I needed to tell him about me going to Norway possibly really soon. “It’s at the same place where we met.” He told me with a big smile. I looked down not knowing what to say. “Is something wrong?” Bucky asked as he reached for my hand. “No. I love it! I just can’t believe we’re engaged still.” And I couldn’t believe we were honestly. I didn’t want to ruin this day. So I’ll tell him tomorrow or after the dance. Just not now.

The day had been perfect. We went to the same diner we did the were we met each other for the second time. We took the same walk we did as we did on our first real date. Everything was perfect. It almost made me forget that I would have to leave. Key word almost.

We were walking towards the dance hall, a lot of people were already inside. The music that was playing was fast paced. Everybody inside was having a good time jumping around, being spun or lifted in the air. Bucky was guiding us towards the bar to get us some drinks before dancing, holding my hand tightly. “What do you want sweetheart?” He asked me. “Whatever you’re having.” I answered Bucky.

He would get us some beers and we cheered. I could only gulp it down as quick as I possibly could. “Wow.” Bucky stated. “Never knew you could drink like that.” He laughed. Being a friend of Thor makes you drink like that I laughed to myself. Shit I also have not told him about me being Ævi, I am messing up in so many ways. But now I have to somehow tell him I am leaving possibly very soon. “Bucky?” I started. “Come on lets dance!” He said as he held my hand and almost dragged me to the dancefloor. There was a fast paced song on and everybody was jumping and dancing around and so were we.

After many songs there was finally a more slow one on. Bucky kept giving me a look I couldn’t quite figure out what he was thinking. “Why are you giving me that look?” I asked him trying to figure him out. “You’re just so beautiful and I am happy.” I could hear the honesty behind his voice and the need for him to get that off his chest. “I was thinking of looking for a ring tomorrow.” I looked at my hand that was resting on his shoulder. I felt awful. “Bucky? Can we talk somewhere where it is not this loud?” Bucky gave me a confused look, but nodded his head yes and started to follow me outside.

“Bucky I-..” I started and sighed. Thinking about it made my heart break. “Is there something wrong?” He asked not knowing what was going on. “Bucky I just want you to know that.. I love you, I love you so much, so much that it even hurts. And I didn’t think-..” I sighed again. Bucky had a even more confused look on his face. I walked over to him and took his hands. “What’s going on?” He asked trying to understand what my conflict was. He was looking into my eyes trying to see if the answers were there. “I-.. A long friend of mine in Norway, she.. she lost her daughter and husband recently because of the war... And I need to go see her, I need to see if she is ok.” I stammered out. “I am sorry to hear that, y/n. When are you leaving?” He asked me. “I don’t know yet, but very soon. Loki already looked at tickets for boats that go that way, but I don’t know yet what he found.” He nodded at that in understanding and held my hands a little tighter. “Do you know when you’re coming back here?” He asked unsure of himself already dreading the answer.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I knew exactly when I would be coming back, but I couldn’t exactly say how I know what I know. “I’ll come back after the war.” I looked up trough my lashes at him to see what his reaction was at that. He let go of one off one of my hands at that and rubbed is mouth in thinking. “Maybe if I join the war and somehow get stationed off in Norway we can-...” “No! No, I don’t want you to join the army Bucky. Please don’t do that.” I interrupted him, that was the last thing I wanted him to do. “But if more people join the fight it might be over sooner. They are sending out troops now from America as we speak. I also am a good fighter and a good shot.” I could only shake my head no at that. “Bucky, please don’t join the army. I am begging you don’t do it. This war.. It will not end anytime soon and a lot of people will die. I don’t want you to be one of those people.” I was all serious. If he joined the army it would break my heart. The not knowing if he was ok or not would break me. He gave in and nodded his head. “Lets go back inside and pretend there is no war going on.” Bucky said trying to reassure me.

Back inside there was a slow song on again. I could not be close enough to him. I was resting my head on his shoulder and held him a little tighter. Bucky was holding my neck with one hand and the other was on my lower back. We were so close to each other, yet so far. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I felt helpless. I felt like I was stuck. And I hated it. I put my hand up against my cheek to wipe away the tear. I didn’t want to leave. “I love you Bucky.” I said quietly, I wasn’t even sure if Bucky could hear what I said over the music until he held me a little tighter. “I love you y/n.” He told me. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the music that was playing. I could hear his heartbeat, beating in a steady rhythm.

The walk back to the hotel had never been this long yet so fast. We were walking in circles, not wanting this night to end. But it was getting quite dark and we had to go inside at some point. “I am still looking at a ring tomorrow.” He told me as wee were nearing the hotel. That made me slightly sigh of relieve, but he didn’t know how long this war would be going on for. It wasn’t fair of me to ask him to wait and put his life on pause for me. “Bucky, I don’t want you to wait-..” I started. Bucky came to stand in front of me. “Y/n, you leaving doesn’t make me stop loving you. And I get why you don’t wanna hear this, but if I have to I will wait a hundred year or a thousand years, hell an eternity, if it all meant that in the end I would be with you. And that is what I’m gonna do whether you like it or not.” He said as he put both his hands on my cheeks. “I love you, Y/n. Now, tomorrow and forever.” Then he planted a sweet kiss on my lips. It was slow and full of want, but not of lust. As we both slowly pulled back we couldn’t let go of each others gaze. “I like that. Now, tomorrow and forever.” He smirked at that. “Well it is how I feel.” He said as he dropped his hands to mine. “I will love you now, tomorrow and forever too Bucky.” I gave him another peck on the lips as it was time to go inside of the hotel.

Before I even had the chance to open my room Loki burst out of his room. Bucky looking slightly shocked but keeping his own as Loki approached. “Where have you been?!” Loki asked annoyed. “With Bucky. Did you get tickets?” Loki looked Bucky up and down in slight disgust. He obviously didn’t like Bucky for whatever reasons he had. “Yes I did get the tickets. And you need to pack.. Now.” He demanded. “Wait.. When are we leaving?” I asked confused. “You said as soon as possible. I got tickets for tomorrow.. Morning. We leave at eight.” My eyes grew wide. I was expecting soon, just not this soon. I was at a loss for words. I felt Bucky squeeze my hand. “That’s faster than I expected.” Bucky said under his breath. I looked at out interlocked hands. “I’ll help you pack doll.” Bucky continued. “Good even a human is smart enough to know what that means.” I gave Loki a warning glare at that. I opened the door to let me and Bucky in and said goodnight to Loki.

“Ignore him, he’s... weird.” I said about Loki. “I heard that.” Loki said from the other side of the door. “Sorry again.” I said to Bucky. “I didn’t know it would be... That fast.” I said with sadness in my eyes.

The night together packing went slow. I already had a few things packed luckily. After we were done packing we just laid on the bed together. Talking about anything and everything to keep our minds of reality. After a moment of silence Bucky spoke up. “Will you write me when you’re there?” He asked. I looked up at him from where I was positioned on his side. “Of course. Everyday.” I told him and that was a promise I made to myself. “Will you?” I asked him. “Everyday.” He answered back. I leaned forward to kiss him I wanted him close, one last time before sayin goodbye. I moved myself on top of him to deepen the kiss. Bucky put his hands by my neck at the top of my dress. He slowly started to unzip my dress. Caressing my skin as the zipper went down. His touch gave me goosebumps. When the zipper was all the way down I took my arms out of my dress exposing my bra. Our lips still interlocked Bucky started to sit up. Our minds hungry for each other. It was my turn to unbutton his shirt, after I was done doing that Bucky quickly shook off his shirt and threw it on the ground. I grinded down on his lap and could feel his cock hardening quickly. Mt panties were already completely soaked and ready to take them off now. I wanted him inside of me. I wanted to feel him.

Bucky went to unclasp my bra and threw it on the ground as well. His hand left hand went right for me breast and started flicking my nipple. I inhaled deeply at that sensation of his gentle touch. He put his other arm around me and his left hand let go of my nipple to hold me around my back as well. I let out a small whine at the loss of his touch. He pulled his head back looking at me briefly before spinning me around and now I was laying on my back on the bed. He discarded of my dress and panties that were still on and he quickly took off his trousers to free his already hardened cock.

He crawled back over my naked form his mouth going right back to mine. He again took my right hand with his left and put it above my head. My other hand went to his lower back, indicating I wanted him now. I felt his tip brushing against my folds, but he was not starting yet. his right hand went down to my bundle of nerves and started to slowly rub circles. My breathing started to pick up and I let out low moans against his mouth. I went to bit my lip to keep my volume low, but Bucky quickly went to suck on my lower lip before he let go. “I want to hear you.” He whispered to me. His thumb started to rub faster circles which made me close my eyes with the pleasure I was feeling. My breathing started to pick up and my moans started to get louder the faster he went. Everything started to tingle and I felt my walls try to clench to something. I let out a loud moan and my thighs quivering as I came.

I opened my eyes searching for Bucky’s who was still looking at me. Bucky was still rubbing me and I slowly started to feel sensitive trying to close my legs. Bucky moved his hips down so I couldn’t. I could feel his tip brushing against my entrance again. I let go of his lower back to move my one free hand up to his neck. “I want you inside of me.” I told him intently. And he complied. He slowly put his length inside me, while I was adjusting to the new fulness. He was stretching my walls slowly. When he was fully situated he waited for a moment for me to fully adjust and I slowly started moving my hips and so did Bucky. I tried to move faster already feeling a new sensation build up inside of me, but Bucky put his hand down on my right leg widening me up more so he could go deeper. I put my other leg around him, pushing him down, me wanting him to go faster. “Bucky go faster.” I told him lowly. But he shook his head keeping his slow steady pace. “I want to feel you. Let me feel you.” I slowed me breathing down and started to relax into the bed more.

His thrusts were slow, but hit every spot. With every move he made his pelvis brushed against my still sensitive bundle of nerves. Bucky started kissing my sensitive spot by my neck which made this pleasure feel al the more better. My breathing started to pick up slowly again and so did his. His thrust's were picking up and hitting harder. His balls slapping against my ass as he did. As we were both coming closer to our ends his speed started to pick up more and more. Bucky groaning in my ear as he was getting closer to his end. My moans were so loud I was getting afraid someone might hear them. I felt the familiar knot form in my stomach and my walls clenching around his length. “Bucky.” Is all I had to say as I felt my walls break around him. Simultaneously I felt his cock shoot hot spurts inside of me, filling me. His thrusts loosing rhythm before he stilled. “I love you.” He told me intently as he looked me in my eyes. “Now, tomorrow and forever.” I answered back as Ii pulled him closer for a deep kiss.

...

Let me know what you think :)

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@darkdragonphoenix

@toribentleyva

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ksgeekgirl · 6 years

Text

One Year Anniversary

Submission for #kaits8kangstchallenge. So sorry to Kait (@bionic-buckyb) for the lateness of this post, but hope you like it. No beta, and lots of caffeine, so all grammar errors and type-o’s are mine. Only my second piece i’ve let out, so please be gentle ;)

Word Count: 1833 (cause i’m a long winded bitch)

Warnings: language, hint o’smut - there is more to this if anyone is interested in reading it.

IMAGE IS NOT MINE. I FOUND IT ON GOOGLE WITH NO CLEAR SOURCE. IF IT’S YOURS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I’LL GIVE YOU CREDIT.

One-year punch

12 months punch

365 days punch

One trip around the fucking sun.

With one final punch I fell against the heavy bag, wiping my hair back as sweat drips off the tip of my nose onto the puddle i’m making on the mat. Out of, habit, i rub the fresh scar on my side, only the bumpy flesh and tinge of pain reminding me it was there. When I joined the Avengers a year ago, I didn’t think this was how my “work anniversary” would go.

Alone. Six months after a gunshot wound. Being a mere mortal among heroes wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

So, here I am. Perfectly healed, in fact I was in better shape than Nat currently, but I was here holding down the fort while the rest of the team was out on a mission. All because the good Captain didn’t think I was “up to the challenge.”

Bottom line. Steve Rogers doesn’t like me.

It’s taken me a full year to admit it, because everyone likes me. But not Steve. He’s never liked me and he doesn’t want me on the team. But here I am.

When we first met, I was in awe of him--and it wasn’t the physical aspect. Not that I didn’t notice. I mean have you seen him? WOW. I MAY have even gawked seeing him shirtless for the first time. In fact, I had to keep myself from petting him, but I digress. The real reason for the awe was that he has integrity. Real, honest to god, integrity.

In a world of instagram stars and man buns, old-fashioned integrity is in short supply. It only took one conversation with Steve - not Cap but STEVE - to know that he had integrity in spades. He doesn’t just treat people with respect. He actually respects them.

Except for me.

To him, Y/FN Y/LN was just one more asset that needed protection. He is warm and engaging with other team members. But when interacting with me, he’s ALL business. No eye contact. No encouragement.

And i’ve tried. I’ve managed to find my way with all the team members. I won Thor over with baked goods, who knew the god of Thunder had a sweet tooth. I got on Bruce’s good side by digging in and learning the science and not just glazing over. Hell, I trained so hard that i could spar with Bucky when it came to knives.

The Winter Fucking Solider calls me doll and is more encouraging that Steve. Nothing I do is ever enough for him.

Y/N picked the wrong movie. Y/N cooked the wrong food. Y/N isn’t ready for the mission and should stay here. Every disappointing look and backhanded comment was a dagger that twisted, not only in your gut but in your heart.

And what happened when you did finally go on a mission? Steve was proved right and you were shot. Never mind that you were able to get the files the team went in for while bleeding out. Or that you had your wits about you enough that you landed a knife in the jugular on the bad guy before passing out. Nope, getting shot = not ready to Cap.

Following that mission, I was in the hospital for a week. I lost a lot of blood and it was touchy for a while. I don’t even remember the first two days, but when I came too the entire team took turns staying with me.

Except Steve.

Oh, he came by. Stood in the door. Asked if I was okay. Chastised me for taking a stupid risk. But that was it.

In the six months that followed, I have completely recovered - ask the heavy bag and Tony’s many doctors - but still no mission. Only Captain America can green light you returning to the field. And even with integrity...Captain America couldn’t see past what Steve Rogers thought.

So with that, i’m done trying.

I took a deep breath, resting my forehead on the bag, the weight of the last year weighing on me and the realization that I wouldn’t likely have a second anniversary heavy on my heart. Taking a pull off my water bottle I pushed the bag away, making it swing as I delivered a hard one-two punch. Imagining Steve’s face as the jab landed.

“Fuck Steve Rogers”

“Language”

A chill ran up my spine as the deep baritone echoed through the training room. i can’t catch a break with this man. I took a deep breath and went back to swinging, the sound of my punches landing filling the silence.

“Welcome back Captain. Hope the mission went well.”

Steve walked over and steadied the bag. Holding it as i kept swinging, the chink of the chain holding the bag silenced. The thud of my punches matching my heartbeat.

“It was successful,” he quipped “nobody got shot.”

I stopped briefly, snarling at him as I kneed the bag, pushing him back a little. “Well good, we sure can’t afford to have two of us out for six months, but then again everyone else heals faster don’t they?”

“Y/N”

I could see the muscle in his jaw flex. A sure sign he was frustrated with me. I punched even harder, my shirt soaked through with sweat. Shoulders and thighs burning...I was going to pay for this in the morning.

“Y/N. Stop.”

But I couldn’t make myself. I aimed a side kick at the bag, and Steve to be honest, but he’s a damn super solider and caught my leg. His hand on my calf sending shivers up my spine as I looked at him.

“Let go of my leg Cap.”

“We need to talk Y/N...”

“Fantastic. Let. Go. Of. My. LEG.” I yanked my leg from his hand as I said this, walking away. I kept my back to Steve as I gathered my emotions, beginning to unwrap my hands. “What do you want to talk...”

Steve cut me off, “Y/N you are training entirely too hard. You could aggravate your injury. You’re not healed yet.”

“But actually I am Steve.” I drop down on the bench as I thrown the wraps in the trash. I bend over and begin unlacing my shoes while I talk.”

“EVERY doctor in Tony’s employ has given me the green light.” I take off my left shoe and throw it down. “In fact, EVERY fucking physical therapist in this tower has said that they don’t need to see me anymore.” My right shoe joins the pile, bouncing as I throw it.

“So,” I pick up a towel, wiping my face and arms, “unless you’re now DOCTOR Captain America, I AM OK.”

Breathing heavy, more from anger than from the work out, I pull off my t-shirt and throw it into the hamper. As usual, Steve isn’t making eye contact but staring in the mid-distance at the mat. Letting out a big sigh, I run my hands through my sweaty hair and cross my arms under my breasts.

“Can you at least look at me when you fire me Steve?”

His head snaps up, finally rewarding me with eye contact. The full brunt of his blue gaze causing me to squirm a little and wonder if I had escalated this too quickly.

“Fire you?” He asks a little confused before letting loose a bitter laugh. “Why in the world would I fire you Y/N?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted to talk to me about? Letting me go?” Doubt starts to creep in as I gnaw on my lower lip, watching him.

“No. Not at all. I wanted to talk to you about...I mean...I think we need to talk about...really I need to tell you how...” Steve shoves his hands in his pockets, looking around. Finally he squares his shoulders and walks over, so close to me that I can see the flecks of green in his cornflower eyes. “We need to talk about us.”

“And by us, you mean how you can barely tolerate me?” I retort, holding my ground. “Don’t waste your time Steve. You win, I’m done trying.”

“Wait. What?” Steve looks genuinely confused. I feel myself soften, thinking this is the break i’ve wanted but there is no time to soften now.

“Come on Steve. I can tell by the way you look at me.”

“And how exactly am I looking at you Y/N?” Steve is standing in full Captain America pose, hands on his hips, feet spread wide, jaw clinched. The only sound in the room is the fans whirring and our breath. So it’s come to this.

“You look like you’re going to punch me,” I smart back, my chin tilting up. A challenge against my better judgement.

“I was actually going to kiss you, but if you’re into that sort of thing then i’m out.”

My eyes widened, stammering as I looked up at him, “What? I’m so confused. You what?” My brain unable to complete a thought.

Steve reached out and took my hand in his, thumb running over my knuckles red from my workout, a half smile on his face.

“Y/N, it’s not that I don’t like you. I like you too much. You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re fearless -- even when you should be. You remind me of Peggy, but not in an ‘old flame way’ but in a ‘there’s a woman that could challenge me’ way.”

As i stare at him, like a guppy gasping for air as he moves his free hand to cup my cheek. Caressing my jaw as he tilts my chin up.

“When you go shot, I was terrified. I couldn’t do anything but sit there. I couldn’t even donate blood.” He chuckled at the dumbfounded look on my face. “So, I took it out on you. I can’t be scared if you aren’t in danger. But that isn’t fair.”

“So, our friends took matters into their own hands and told me that i talked to you or they would.” Steve let out a big breath, resting his forehead on mine. “THAT’S what I wanted to talk to you about.”

i shook my head slightly, eyebrows knitted together.

“But you don’t like me...” my brain unable to catch up with what he is saying.

“Maybe this will help you understand.”

With that, Steve leans down. His breath ghosting over my face as my eyes close. I’m fairly sure i’m hallucinating until I feel that pressure of his soft lips against mine. The touch is like plugging into an electrical socket as I let out a small gasp. Steve seizing the opportunity to brush his tongue against my lower lip, coaxing my mouth open. I feel him smile against me as our tongues meet, the knuckles of his hand trapped between us grazing my nipples through my sports bra.

It was too much.

I slowly step back, our lips the last thing to separate. I needed physical distance to process everything. My eyes slowly blinking as I look up at Steve, a slow smile spreading across his face.

“Y/N...are you okay?”

Then, with all the polish an sophistication I could muster, I find my voice.

“I’m sweaty.”

Really? Not what I meant to say. Nope. The only explanation is that Steve Rogers short circuited my brain. And just like that he starts laughing. It’s the most joyous thing i’ve ever heard, and i’m not even upset that he’s laughing at me.

“Y/N if i’d have known that was all it too to get you to shut up, I’d have done that months ago,” he smarts off while wiping tears of laugher from his cheeks. My nostrils flare a little as I land a good punch on his arm in response. Getting his laughter under control he rests his hands on my waist, thumbs rubbing little circles on my skin. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

I smile, tentatively moving my hands to his biceps. A small portion of my brain, registers that they feel better than they look.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Surprised, but fine.” Biting my lip, I look up a smile playing across my lips. “But I am sweaty.”

“Very!” He leans forward, placing a kiss on my forehead before stepping back. “You should probably go shower.”

“Good idea.” I turn and heads towards the elevator and my rooms, leaving Steve standing in the center of the mat. At the elevator doors I push the button and look over my shoulder. Pulling my hair to the side as I shoot Steve a wink.

“You coming Cap or you just gonna stand there?”

The slap of his feet hurrying across the mat letting me know that my Avengers anniversary wasn’t turning out as bad as I thought.

Tags: @bionic-buckyb @heather-lynn

#kaits8kangstchallenge #@bionic-buckyb

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valhallaas · 6 years

Text

Static {part 3}

Hello again! Here is the final part to this little series for @bionic-buckyb ‘s angst writing challenge! Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: language and implied smut

Word Count: 2,042

Prompt: “Your legs bleeding.”

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed that half of my goddamned blood was flowing out of my leg, thanks for letting me know.”

Part 2

“We’re tearing that fucking place apart.”

“Steve—”

“No, Natasha. I don’t care what you have to say. Do you see her? Do you see what they’ve fucking done to her? I can’t. I just—I can’t.”

“All right, Stevie. Try to relax. Get some rest. I’ll take next watch.”

Steve sighed. A barely audible “Yeah, right,” passing from his lips.

You had no idea what was going on. All you knew was that you hurt. Everything hurt. Your skin, your leg, your eyelids every time you blinked. But you weren’t really blinking. Your eyes were too heavy, and the outside world was still too bright. You weren’t ready for all that yet. Hearing Steve’s voice, though, that about killed you. You had seen Steve at a few of his lowest points; that’s normally when you found your way to each other. Never had you heard him like this. So…so down and utterly broken.

To know it was over you made it so much worse. Why couldn’t you stay away? Why couldn’t you put your feelings for him aside like you did everything else? Why did the thought of shutting him out hurt so goddamn much? So many whys and not enough answers. You’d be screaming and pulling at your roots if you could. You liked knowing all the answers, even if all you were doing was pretending to. But this, this was hard.

It was like Bucky was attuned to you. You weren’t conscious to the outside world, but he knew you were awake; listening. You heard him heave out a heavy sigh when the door closed. That was when you heard the faint beeping of the heart monitor. That’s all it took for you to piece it together. They’d gotten you out and were guarding you at the Avenger’s compound. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You weren’t safe anywhere with anybody. Not anymore.

“Y’know how hard it was to get you out of there with a fucked-up arm, Y/N?” Bucky drawled. Yeah, he definitely knew you were listening. “You and that damn pride. Y’also know that when you use your ability, it leaves an energy behind? I can feel it pulsing in my arm. The closer I am to you, the stronger it gets.”

Leaves an energy behind? That was new. Made sense and was probably how they had managed to find you. You needed to get up now. Focusing all your energy you tried opening your eyes. You knew the room was going to blinding, the white walls and their lack of décor trying to take out your retinas. Squinting, you were amazed it had worked. The world was blurry, and your eyes burned in their sockets. A frown formed on your lips when you focused on Bucky who was staring smugly at you.

“You and that damn pride.”

Your eyes narrowed. That was twice now—you may be in a hospital bed, but you could still shock the shit out of him. You and Bucky Barnes walked a very thin line between love and hate. The feeling in your gut told you that it only leaned towards love because of who his best friend was. Which for you, was saying a lot.

“How long are you going to make him wait before you tell him I’m awake?”

He leaned forward, handing you a cup of water that you took gratefully. “Figured you’d want a minute to breathe before he started rattling off atcha.”

“I tried—”

“I know you did. I told him that—”

“—but it doesn’t matter that you did. You know Steve,”

There was light tapping on the door, the silhouette of a super soldier making your insides turn. It had been a long time since he had made you feel anything that resembled nervous. Your eyes flashed to Bucky’s, who simply shrugged his shoulders. You bit down on your chapped lip, readying yourself.

“She’s awake, Steve.” Bucky called out when you finally nodded your head.

“Are you alright?” Steve blurted out as soon as he was through the door.

You snorted. “Yeah, Stevie. Feeling just fucking peachy.”

You yelped when Bucky flicked the arch of your foot. The both of you glaring at each other, neither one of you backing down. It was only the feeling of Steve’s callused fingertips tracing your jawline that pulled your attention back to him. Your breath caught in your throat at the tender look in his eyes. His blue gaze heavy on you, searching over your face—taking in every flaw that made you, well, you. You weren’t sure you’d ever felt more vulnerable in your life. Damn him, damn him to hell.

“Y/N are you alright?”

“I—I will be.”

You could feel him struggling. Struggling to get the words out. He wanted to know how they found you. He wanted to make sure you’d be okay. He wanted to keep you there with him. You were sure that Steve Rogers had been created specifically to watch you burn. That’s what if felt like. There was a spark between the two of you; always has been. The energy—the static—it buzzed between you freely. Everything about you called out to him, and he always came willingly.

Your lip quivered, eyes ignoring both gazes that were burning into you. You felt it this time. You felt it deep in your bones—in your very being. This was it. This was the last goodbye. There was no way either of you could keep this up. There would be no fighting about it. You’d get out of the med bay, you’d have one last night together. Then you’d be like a phantom, a ghost, a dream that no one was sure if you were actually real or not.

***

You had never been in the Avengers tower. Not with all of them in it, anyway. You took in everything around you. It was hard to miss the fact that it was Stark money that built the place. High ceilings, open layout, and floor to ceiling windows. Everything screamed ‘look at me’. A frustrated sigh escaped you when a spasm shot through your leg, making your knee and hip give out at the same time. You would have completely collapsed if it hadn’t been for Steve walking next to you—to make sure that exact thing didn’t happen. You didn’t miss him shake his head before he was swooping you up and tossing you over his shoulder along with your bag.

“Steven Grant,” you bit out, your face flushing from slight embarrassment and the fact that all your blood was rushing to your head.

“Y/N,”

Never one to miss out on an opportunity, you smacked your hand hard against Steve’s backside, sending small shocks up his spine. You snickered when he cursed lightly under his breath. For being a soldier, he sure did have a mouth like a sailor. Not that you were complaining.

“Why are you always causing trouble, huh?”

“Only for you, boy wonder. You make it too easy.”

A beat of silence passed when you finally made it to Steve’s room. Your eyes held a promise of mischief, a rumble of laughter echoed off the walls when he set you to your feet. He knew your tricks and he delighted in them—whatever they were at the time. Steve didn’t miss the familiar edge that usually carried with you was now no where to be seen. Even though you were the one to set the pace, to make the rules as you went along, you were also putty in his hands. That never happened. Not once in your time together had you ever given him complete control. Steve thought on it only for a moment before your lips were wrapped around him nice and pretty; everything but you left his mind.

There you were again. Watching the stupid sunrise from the warmth and comfort of Steve’s bed. You were arguing with yourself. You needed to leave, but would it really kill you if you stayed only five more minutes? No, it wouldn’t kill you, but it’d put you in the hospital for almost a week. You sighed, thumping your head against the pillows. You had told yourself you weren’t going to fight it—you weren’t going to fight him. It was just so damn hard. It was hard to leave someone you loved behind. It was even worse when you didn’t want to admit that you were in love with them.

But you never would have to admit it, Steve already knew. He stirred against you, rough fingers tracing patterns on the bare skin of your hipbone. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling. It was the little things, you think, that you were going to miss the most.

“Y/N,” Steve whispered, breaking the resemblance of cloud nine that had been cloaking you.

“This has to be the last time.”

“Y/N,”

You shook your head, tears starting to roll down your cheeks like the rain falling from the clouds outside. When the hell did those get there? Did it really matter? God, it wasn’t like you wanted it to be this way. If you had it your way, Steve would never leave your side. You’d be an Avenger and they’d all have to learn how to deal with your bullshit. But it wasn’t an ideal world. You got screwed over more often than not, and Steve—Steve deserved so much better than a runaway science experiment.

“I love you, you know? You deserve the goddamn world, Rogers.”

“And what do you deserve, Y/N? When is it going to end?”

You shrugged, “When I’m dead.”

“Is that supposed to be fucking funny?”

“It’s the truth! It doesn’t matter how you twist it, Steve. They know how to hurt me now, you can’t keep me safe.”

“Of course I can keep you safe!” He all but snarled, pushing off the bed and away from you. “I keep the people I love safe, Y/N. Why can’t you fucking see that? What is it going to fucking take?”

The air between the two of you was charged, you could hear the faint crackles from the static in your ears. You sat up slowly, grabbing your underwear off the floor and began gathering the rest of your clothes. You were pretty sure you were leaving a trail—silent sobs shaking your shoulders, tears not stopping no matter how harshly you wiped them away. Nothing hurt as much as this did. You’d take that fucking shot in the leg over again a thousand times than have to do this just this once.

“I’m sorry.” You said softly, once your boots were on and laced up.

Your hair was pulled into a messy knot on the top of your head. Your eyes red and puffy, focused on the ground and not on the man standing in front of you. You flinched when his bare feet came into view, his body heat washing over you like waves. You weren’t even sure he had put any clothes on and you really didn’t want to find out. Only one that kept running through your head in a constant loop. Get out, get out, get out. You were starting to feel like a caged animal and that was never good.

“When you step out that door, you aren’t coming back.”

You didn’t know how Steve manage to make those words sound like both a question and a statement. The ice in his voice pierced your heart. There was no one to blame but yourself.

“No.”

He let out a staggered breath. “Okay.”

With that he left you to it. He made his way to the bathroom, shut the door and locked it. You heard the shower turn on, you heard the shattering of the bathroom mirror, you heard the pain pouring out of him as he broke down twenty feet away from you. Standing on shaking legs, you wiped furiously at your eyes, picked up your bag and left the room. All you had left behind was your favorite lipstick, and a man that nobody thought could break.

#static part three #kaits8kangstchallenge #bionic-buckyb #writing #angst challenge #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #well this was fun #static #mine

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delicatecapnerd · 6 years

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Would REALLY love some Steve or Bucky or Stucky birthday love...pics, fics, into smut & nsfw's...

#agentmarvel13 #captain america #bionic buckyb #bucky barnes x reader #buckyismyaesthetic #bucky with the good hair #bucky #bucky barnes #steve #capbuckybuchanan #caplanbuckybarnes #steve steve rogers steven grant rogers cap captain america #stucky #tired as fuck #i can't help liking cap! <3 #marvel

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random-imagines-blog · 2 years

Text

Imagine Bucky Barnes being in a cuddly mood while you’re trying to study.

“What the hell, Bucky! I’m taking an exam right now, what are you doing here?”

You could see that he was creeping in, stretching up behind the couch, ready to pounce like a cat. And just like a feline, it was at the most inopportune time that he could have picked since you had books all around you and a mug of tea in your hand, laptop open to reveal a tough question.

You were working on an exam right now, one that was done online, thank goodness. But that timer in the corner was ticking quickly down, and you were taking way too much time on this one question.

But despite your warnings, he was still coming in closer. You could see the corner of his mouth going upwards as he tried to fight back the smile, knowing that he was being an absolute brat at that moment.

“Bucky......”

He pounced.

You just managed to get hold of your tea and put it onto the table without spilling a drop, but your lap was now full of your boyfriend’s messy dark brown hair, and his arms were around your waist.

You sighed, and glared down at him. His movements had made one of your books fall onto the ground, making you lose your page. You rubbed at your temples, really not in the mood for this. He knew how busy you were - it was his encouragement that got you to go back to school but - fuck, man.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, popping his head up. “You totally know this, come on.”

You didn’t reply with words, just a loud groan as you looked at the book that was on the ground, trying to remember whereabouts in it you were. He was in the way of you leaning down and getting it. All that you could do was sit there and take it, especially as his metal arm held you securely. You did lean forward though and pressed the button to the answer you were pretty sure fit, but had been doubting yourself on.

“There you go,” He said, laying back down. You resigned yourself to running your fingers through his hair, causing a little moan to slip out. You couldn’t stay mad at that, you supposed. The exam was sent off and there was nothing more you could do about it except for hope for the best, and take comfort in the man that loved - and annoyed you.

Requested by: @sarcastic-sourwolf

#Bucky Barnes #Bucky Barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes imagines #Marvel #Marvel imagines #x reader #imagines #request #buckyb

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lunarbuck · 7 months

Text

Kinktober Week 1: Love Bites

header: @jen-with-a-pen

Pairing: Steve Rogers x f!reader (any race)

Word Count: 422

Prompt: Love Bites

Warnings: fingering, pet names [baby], neck biting

a/n: yay day 1 of kinktober <3 i hope you guys enjoy!!! not beta'd, all mistakes are mine baby

my masterlist | kinktober masterlist | join my taglist

Strong hands roam your body, teasing and pinching as they explore you. You lean back into Steve’s chest as his fingers trace the edge of your panties. You gasp when his lips make contact with your neck, gliding kisses along the sensitive skin.

“Steve,” you whisper, arching your back. He hums against your neck, teeth gently nipping before his tongue soothes the mark. “Don’t tease.”

Without removing his lips from his neck, Steve rests his hands on your waist and starts to walk you backward. He sits on the edge of the bed, you on his lap. The feeling of Steve’s dick pressed against your ass makes your core tighten.

“You taste so good, sweetheart,” he rasps, fingers resuming their descent on your body. He drags his index finger across the seam of your panties, finding you aching and wet for him. “Feel so good on top of me.” He pushes your panties to the side, exposing your heated flesh to the room’s cool air. You shiver in his grasp, earning you another bite to your neck.

Two of Steve’s big fingers press inside of you, sliding in easily. You moan, relaxing fully against Steve. He’s steady and strong behind you, but you can feel tension in his muscles. He’s so worked up just by giving you this pleasure.

Steve’s fingers work magic on your pussy, curling and hitting that spot inside you that makes your head spin, while his lips and tongue worship your neck. His free hand roams the rest of your body, squeezing your breasts and grazing over your thighs. Each touch brings you closer and closer to snapping.

“Stevie, please.” Your voice comes out as a whimper, needy. He smirks against your neck, biting the flesh of your shoulder as he grinds the heel of his palm against your clit.

“Come for me, baby. I know you want to.” You twist your eyes shut as you succumb, letting the wave of pleasure pull you under. Steve holds you to his chest as you go limp, sucking in deep breaths. He helps you lay back on the bed, cushioned by the plush comforter.

Sated and happy, you grin at your beautiful boyfriend when he kneels beside you. You watch him lick his fingers, groaning at your taste. His eyes roam over your neck and shoulders, the spots where he’d bitten, and kissed heating under his attention.

“You’re so pretty when you come, baby.” Even though you just came, heat floods in your belly. “Why don’t you show me again.”

@flightlessangelwings | #fawktober 2023 list

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endless-summer-soldier · 3 months

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dr. feelgood - chapter ten

pairing: Surgeon!Bucky x SurgicalIntern!Reader

summary: Y/N has a one night stand with a handsome stranger the night before starting her new job as a surgical intern. Little does she know, the handsome stranger also happens to be her new boss

warnings: must be 18+, drinking, some surgery descriptions, smut, self-pleasure, praise kink, oral sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, PTSD, choking, angst

word count: 2.3k

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The sunlight was peeking in through the blinds and brought me out of my slumber. I was wrapped up in the sheets, sans clothing, and knew that Bucky must be up already. He was naturally an early riser and I barely slept a wink, which is why I was still in bed later than usual. After a quick stretch, I slid out from under the covers and shivered as the cool air activated goosebumps all over me. I scoured the floor for some clothes but only managed to find my underwear. I padded into his walk-in closet and helped myself to a grey crew neck sweatshirt that read “Columbia University” (of course he went to an ivy league school). The sweatshirt was perfectly oversized, the hem landing just above my knee, and was soft and cozy. I never wanted to take it off. I walked into the en suite to use the restroom and freshen up before searching for Bucky.

When I emerged from the bathroom, I was immediately hit with the smell of coffee. As I turned to walk downstairs, I found Bucky leaning against the doorframe with a steaming mug in his hand.

“I thought I heard you,” he smiled, taking in my appearance. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants without a shirt on, and I took a moment to appreciate his muscular form. “I love that you’re wearing my shirt.”

“Well I couldn’t seem to find any of my clothes,” I replied.

“I threw in a load of laundry this morning. Figured you might want some clean clothes.”

“You trying to keep me here longer?” I joked.

He shrugged, “Maybe.”

I walked over towards him, “Joke’s on you, I wasn’t planning on leaving.” I planted a quick kiss on his lips as I extracted the coffee from his hands. I took a slow sip and let out a sigh, “You know just how I like it.”

He gave me a playful smile and said, “That I do.” He placed his hands on my hips and leaned down towards me, connecting his lips with mine. He gently guided me backwards, step by step, until the back of my legs hit the mattress. I pulled away for a moment to place my coffee on the bedside table and peered back up at him, with a smile on my face.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him back down towards me, craving his taste. He kept me vertical as he ran his fingers through my hair, guiding it off my face and behind my right ear. He took my lower lip in between his teeth and gave me a careful nip before redirecting his attention to my neck. His breath brushed my ear, and right as I expected his tongue to meet my neck, he stopped.

“Baby, was I too rough with you last night?” he asked, looking at me briefly before running a careful hand down my neck. I hadn’t checked for bruises in the mirror, but I was sure they were there. My hair must’ve hid the marks inadvertently.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s from sex,” I replied.

“What do you mean?” he asked, a confused expression on his face as his gaze shifted up to mine.

He didn’t remember. He must’ve thought it was just a nightmare. And I had no idea how I was going to tell him. I stood there, looking at him with empathetic eyes as I processed what my next step here was. How could I tell him that he attacked me in the middle of the night without making it seem like a big deal?

I saw his expression begin to shift slightly. He was connecting the dots in his mind. He released me and took a step back.

“No…” he breathed, a look of shock and horror gracing his handsome features.

“Bucky, it’s not a big deal. We can-”

“Not a big deal!? Y/N, I could’ve killed you!”

“But you didn’t,” I took a step towards him and reached for his hand, trying to calm him down. As soon as I touched him, he pulled away and took another step back.

He looked at me with wide eyes, “You need to leave.”

“Buck, can we please talk about this?”

“Leave, now!” He shouted. I stood there, frozen in place. He broke eye contact to turn and walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. I didn’t want to leave him like this, in such a vulnerable state, so I followed him. I tried the handle but the door was locked.

“Bucky, let me in. Please,” I felt like I was pleading with him physically and emotionally. I wanted for him to open up, so that we could tackle this together. I wanted to be there to support him in whatever way he needed.

“Go Y/N. I mean it.”

I placed my hand flat on the door, “Please.”

There was a beat of silence which gave me hope that he was considering opening the door.

“Leave, I don’t want you here.”

I wasn’t expecting those words. And they hurt.

So I gave in to his request. I went into his closet and quickly put on a pair of his sweatpants. Then I went downstairs, collected my purse and phone, and walked out the front door. I sat on his front step as I called myself an Uber home, taking deep breaths and holding all my tears until I was back in my bed.

When I got back home, I made it three steps to the couch before the tears started flowing. It was part rejection, part worry for Bucky, and part uncertainty for how we would move forward. Just when I thought we were finally starting something together, we came to a screeching stop. It was hard not to take it out on him. My instinct was to write him off as an asshole and build my wall back up. But I knew this wasn’t him. He spent weeks courting me, respecting my boundaries yet letting me know he was still interested.

And now that he had me, he was pushing me away. I couldn’t let him go that easily, I had to fight for him too.

Once my tears dried, I thought through what my next move would be. I wanted to give him the rest of the day to process whatever emotions he was feeling. I’d see him at work and talk to him then.

“Y/L/N, you are on…ortho,” Palmer announced. I sighed but tried to hide my disappointment as I went to find Rogers. I needed to log some ortho hours, so it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, but I was hoping I’d be on trauma.

Bucky had been avoiding me ever since I spent the night. He called out for his next few shifts and when he finally did come in, he spent the whole day in the pit while I was scrubbed into a 14 hour neurosurgery. I missed him more than I cared to admit. It wasn’t just being around him, but learning from him. I wanted to be back on trauma, studying his every move. I held onto the little hope I had that maybe a big trauma would come in that required an ortho consult.

I found Rogers studying a chart at the nurses station and slid in next to him.

“Can I help you?” he asked, without looking up.

“I’m on your service today.”

He looked up from the paperwork and appeared less than excited to see me but replied with, “Great, we have a hip replacement in an hour. Prep the patient and bring her down to OR2. Then you can scrub in.”

“Thanks,” I gave him a grateful smile. At least I could distract myself with surgery.

As we performed the surgery, Dr. Rogers was curt with me, speaking to me when he needed to, but nothing more than that. He must’ve known something happened between Bucky and I because he barely made eye contact with me. He was always protective of Bucky, but he had put in a lot more effort to converse with me a few weeks ago.

In the middle of the procedure, I felt Steve eye me from across the table.

“What did you do?” he asked.

I furrowed my brow, “I just suctioned the-”

“No, not that. Did you sleep with someone else?”

“What?” I pulled my hands out of the patient and looked at Steve, “Are you seriously asking me about my personal life right now?”

“Only because it affects my best friend.”

I let out a deep sigh, “Have you talked to Bucky?”

“No, but I know how he is. He falls head over heels, lays the foundation, puts in the work, and then they always end up screwing him over and he shuts down. Won’t talk to anyone, doesn’t take care of himself, then eventually he throws himself into his work.”

“I didn’t-”

“It’s a shame because I really thought you were different. He never spoke about other girls the way he spoke about you. So I hope it was worth it.”

I wanted so badly to tell him what happened. If anyone would understand, it’d be Steve. He served time in Afghanistan too. But it wasn’t my secret to tell. If Bucky hadn’t told Steve, there was a reason.

“Look, something happened and it’s not really my story to tell, but I have been trying to track down Bucky and he’s avoiding me. I hate knowing that he’s suffering right now and I don’t know how to help him when he won’t even look at me. So why don’t you talk to your friend and get the full story before you throw some more accusations my way.”

I held Steve’s eye contact, not willing to back down. I so badly wanted to leave the OR, to end on that final note, but I put my career before my pride. Rogers placed his tools on the tray and calmly said, “You can close up.”

He stepped away from the patient and pulled his mask off. I couldn’t quite read his expression, so I just tried to focus on finishing the hip replacement.

Steve stormed out of the OR and searched for his best friend. He checked the OR board and didn’t see Bucky’s name. He hadn’t heard of anything serious coming into the ER so he tried the on call room. Bucky was curled up, squeezing the life out of a pillow, with a blanket thrown haphazardly over him. Steve took a pillow from one of the empty beds and threw a heater at his friend.

“What the hell…?” Bucky groaned, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Steve chided.

“What are you talking about?”

“What happened with you and Y/L/N?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Well I do. I can’t sit around and watch you be miserable again.”

“I’m fine,” Bucky defended.

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” Steve asked, taking a seat on the bunk across from Bucky. “Now tell me what happened.”

Bucky sighed, knowing he wouldn’t be able to get out of this.

“Things were perfect. She came over and she finally seemed like she was ready to start something serious and I…screwed it up.”

“I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you. I highly doubt things are beyond repair.”

He shook his head, “I can’t…”

“What happened,” Steve demanded.

Bucky turned to his friend and Steve noticed the vulnerability in his eyes. He looked broken. “I choked her,” he managed.

Based on his reaction, it couldn’t have been a sex act gone wrong. Steve connected the dots in his head, “You had a night terror…”

Bucky nodded his head and put his head in his hands. “She woke up with all these bruises on her neck and I didn’t remember any of it.”

“She’s not mad at you. Just go talk to her.”

He shook his head, “I can’t risk hurting her again. I could’ve killed her.”

“So instead you’re going to torture yourself and be miserable the rest of your life?”

“As long as she’s safe.”

“Bucky, you have to start looking out for yourself. You deserve to be happy too. Just talk to her.”

“I don’t know how to,” Bucky replied.

“At least think about it. She’s special. I just accused her of cheating on you and she took it like a champ.”

“You what!?”

Steve shrugged, “I may have jumped to conclusions. But in my defense, you didn’t tell me anything.” Bucky scoffed at his friend. “I’m serious though, go talk to her. Don’t let her get away, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

Bucky knew he was right, but he wasn’t ready to face her. Steve let him be and Bucky laid back and groaned into a pillow. He needed to sleep but everytime he shut his eyes, he pictured himself on top of her, pinning her down as she squirmed from lack of oxygen. He was broken and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to piece himself back together.

After another week of Bucky’s moping, Steve realized that he wasn’t planning on reconciling with Y/N. He saw her study Bucky, a look of concern in her eye as she watched him for a little too long. And Bucky forcibly kept his head down, knowing if he made eye contact with her he’d melt under her gaze. It killed him to see Bucky revert to a shell of himself. He was pale and had constant bags under his eyes. He looked thin and there was no spark behind his eyes. Everyone noticed it. He stopped joking with people and smiling, he barely made conversation other than what was required for work. He was snapping at the interns. It was hard to watch. Steve was under the impression that if Bucky just talked with Y/N, they’d be able to figure things out. But Bucky was never one to help himself. Steve knew he’d have to nudge his friend forward, he just wasn’t sure how.

#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes slow burn #bucky barnes doctor au #bucky x reader

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sins-of-a-spider · 2 years

Text

A continuation of my Intersex!peter AU~!! I got so much love on the last one so here are some more ideas for it! @professional-benaddict helped with a lot of this and inspired a second part! Please go check them out~ All of their ideas are to die for!

—————

Stephen is Peter’s number one supporter. He’s the man in Peter’s corner he’s never had before. All his life he had been terrified of doctors from such negative experiences. They kept pushing for surgery when Peter didn’t want any at all. But Stephen pushed back, fighting against cosmetic surgery that in the long run would only make his baby more miserable.

“Mr. Strange, i’m sure you and your partner would be a lot more happy if he went through with the surgery.”

“Does he medically need it?”

“Well- no but-“

“No, you don’t get to speak! Then he’s not getting it! You cannot dictate what he would enjoy more. And don’t you dare talk like I have any control over his body and decisions. If he suddenly decides that he wants it then I support him. But he doesn’t. He loves his body just like I do. I suggest you write your letter of resignation before you’re fired. And its Doctor Strange.”

Growing up every doctors appointment gave Peter such anxiety. The nurses and doctors would tell him he would be so much more better off if he got surgery. They never would truly give him a clean bill of health or tell him frankly if anything was wrong, instead giving him the run around. Eventually he stopped going completely.

Stephen understood why but wanted his baby happy. Of course he gets his most trusted medical companion to do a full checkup, Christine. She is the one to finally give Peter a full clean bill of health.

“Alright Peter, its all looking fantastic!”

“Y-yeah…?”

“Of course! I’ve never seen anything so well cared for. I’m glad Stephen brought you in so we could make sure.”

“And i’m glad I took him in. Thank you so much, Christine. This means the world to him.”

“No problem. Just keep coming in for annual check ups and immediately if anything changes.”

“O-o-of course…! T-thank you I just- I needed to hear that so badly…!”

He breaks down in relief. In celebration Stephen thoroughly explores Peter that night💕 and now that Peter knows he’s healthy his libido is 10x what it was before. Stephen can barely keep up but he’s never been happier!

—

But eventually Peter does need a medical procedure. During his new annual checkups they find a cyst on one of his ovaries. He’s terrified to actually get the surgery done since he worries they’ll do more than medically necessary to him.

Stephen reassures him and is there holding his hand during the entire procedure, helping instruct the surgeons through it. At first he insisted on being the one to do it but soon realized he would never even be able to make the first incision. Just completely unable to hurt his baby in any possible way.

When Peter wakes up he has an extremely hard recovery to deal with but is excited to hear that it all went well. Stephen kisses him and finally breaks the bad news: no sex for a while. Peter being the drama queen he is, pouts during the entire recovery😂😂

“Just a little..”

“Peter-“

“No-no! Nothing crazy just like…. Your mouth.”

“Pete come on, i’m going crazy too you know.”

“I know! I know! Just- like… a little. Maybe a finger or two.”

“Peter intersex doesn’t mean you need to have sex all the time.”

“Not funny! I need you! Just like I need oxygen!!”

“……..”

“I can’t breathe! The world is ending! Its all going black!”

“Fiiiine. Only a little. Only my mouth.”

“YES!”

~~~~~~

Hope you liked it~ i’ll probs do a part three if this one goes over well too!! Let me know if you want tagged in the next one!

Tags: @professional-benaddict @rawringryu @buckyb-brainrot

#intersex #intersexau #intersexpeterau #peter parker x stephen strange #stephen strange/peter parker #spiderstrange

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hellomissmabel · 7 years

Text

“Someone will love you”

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 1.684

Summary: the prompt is “No one else knows that I’m leaving. I felt like you deserved to know.” Bucky and Y/N broke up several months ago, but the heartbreak remains too fresh for Y/N. She sees he’s obviously moved on and happily dating Nat, feeling out of place and unable to move on herself. She can’t leave but she can’t stay either, so what is there left for her to do?

A/N: Written for @bionic-buckyb and inspired by Halsey’s song “Sorry”. OC’s are: Caroline aka @mrshopkirk, Sammie aka @themcuhasruinedme, Sina aka @winterboobaer, Justine aka @justareader, KJ aka @nenyakj and Silja aka @writing-soldiers! Give these girls some tumblr hugs because they’re amazing. A big thank you also goes out to @heartmade-writingbucky for helping me find my mojo back for the ending and proofreading it for me. I love you girl.

I've missed your calls for months it seems Don't realize how mean I can be 'Cause I can sometimes treat the people That I love like jewellery

The truth is, it’s not only in physical pain you risk being swallowed by the darkness. If there’s a more potent pain than physical pain, it must be heartbreak because even though it’s not physical, it feels stronger than anything. You swallow the happy times that resurface like a pill, hoping they will cure the bad days ahead, hoping that everything will somehow be a big, bad nightmare and you’re about to wake up. But the only thing you’re actually waking up from, is self-pity.

And it’s then that you realise your true potential, the road you didn’t pave for yourself. But it’s a road that has been laid out for you from the start, and only in heartbreak you will find it. For physical pain is just that, physical. Sometimes it can be cured and sometimes it cannot. It can last a lifetime and so can heartbreak, unless you choose to step from the shadows that encase you like a coffin.

Unless you choose to show your emotions and at least try to put yourself out there again, then you will be ready. Ready to face the world again, ready to go on that great adventure you’ve been longing to go on since you were a kid. So go on that great adventure, take a risk and take your chances. For heartbreak will turn into heartache will turn into a distant memory. Eventually.

'Cause I can change my mind each day I didn't mean to try you on But I still know your birthday And your mother's favourite song

You didn’t make this decision for yourself. You made this decision to keep the peace. In your heart, in your mind, in your life and that of everybody else. You had changed, inevitably so. And this while all the people around you stayed the exact same. It’s sickening knowing that your critical, sceptic mind is what keeps the peace in your own life. Scrutinising every single element, every broken piece trying to decide if true love actually exists. Or maybe it’s just all a ruse imposed by modern-day society, filled with young souls longing to find their way through all the misery and the black days. With a little help from the romanticised ideas fed to us by the media.

“I’m in love with you, Y/N.”

How you long to hear those words again, falling from Bucky’s lips like a broken record. But he’s moved on now. He was the solid ground underneath your feet when you felt like the pieces of your heart were crumbling apart, his eyes were the storm raging over the deep blue sea and his voice the lullaby fallen angels sing to their friends above, a drop of sin on his tongue. You needed him as much as he needed you.

So I'm sorry to my unknown lover Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really Starts to fall in love with me

A soft knock on Bucky’s door tears his attention away from the computer screen. With a soft sigh and a frown knitting his eyebrows together, he puts his laptop aside and shuffles towards the front door. The wood creaks when he opens the door and slowly reveals Y/N’s disheartened face, her dishevelled clothing and the old, brown leather suitcase in her hand.

Due to the aftermath of the initial shock, he barely registers your moving lips. “No one else knows that I’m leaving. I felt like you deserved to know.”

The monotone sound of her voice paired with the emotionless expression curling her lips downwards, sends chills running over Bucky’s spine. “What?,” is the first thought he exclaims. “Why-Why are you leaving?”

Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose, exhaling in both frustration with herself as well as in disappointment with what’s following. “Of all the things that could go wrong, of all the things that could go south in my life, fate chose to ruin us. Not my career, not my family, but our relationship. The best thing that has ever happened to me. And now it’s someone else’s turn to love you.”

Bucky locks eyes with her and shakes his head, unable to wrap his mind around this. “Y/N, why are you telling me this? Why are you leaving?”

“Because I don’t belong here anymore, Bucky,” is her sole reply.

Sorry to my unknown lover Sorry I could be so blind Didn't mean to leave you And all of the things that we had behind

“What? No, no Y/N, that’s not true at all. I need you, you can’t leave.”

“Bucky,” you sigh, “You and Nat are obviously very happy. You don’t need me. Besides, just last week, she made me swear I’d be her bridesmaid for when you finally pop the question. Because it’s going to happen one day soon, we both know that. I see the way she looks at you.”

“But Y/N,” Bucky tries to interject.

“Everybody we know has settled down by now. Scott just proposed to Sammie, Tony’s smitten with Caroline and Steve is very happy with Sina. Clint met Justine over the summer and Sam seems to be hitting it off with KJ. Thor’s gone back to his home country to introduce Silja to his parents. I should’ve married Pietro when I got the chance, then I wouldn’t be so alone and miserable. I wouldn’t be a full 100% happy, but I would’ve had a good life by now. Not one filled with insecurities and, well, emptiness. Because I feel empty without you.”

Tears have started to mix with the raindrops as she speaks in tongues. Bucky has lost all ability to understand what’s swirling inside that pretty little mind of hers. Her features don’t look tired, they look worn out. She’s exhausted, both physically and mentally. “Why didn’t I see this before?,” Bucky asks himself. “Why did I ever let her leave?”

“You know what I regret the most?,” Y/N continues in a feeble tone. “Lying to your face. Lying to your face and telling you I’m fine. You were so eager to believe that I was doing okay, to soothe your conscience after our break-up, that I just gave in. I loved you so much, I love you so much still. I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t see your heart break behind those beautiful baby blues. Because I know it would’ve hurt your heart more to hear that I was a mess than it would’ve hurt my pride.”

I run away when things are good And never really understood The way you laid your eyes on me In ways that no one ever could

“Y/N. Please stop talking,” Bucky interrupts your tornado of words. You’re afraid he’s going to start a word vomit of his own, but he just stares back at you with the most blank expression you’ve ever encountered. Drawing a deep breath, he cards his fingers through his hair and tears his gaze away from you. “Don’t you see the way I look at you?”

“You keep talking about how happy Nat and I look. Well, that’s exactly the problem. We look happy but we haven’t been happy for a long time.” Bucky exhales languidly, looking her straight in the eye as he punctuates every word, creating a reeling emphasis. “I. Am. In. love. With. You. Y/N. I’m in love with you. I never stopped loving you.”

And so it seems I broke your heart My ignorance has struck again I failed to see it from the start And tore you open 'til the end

“You don’t realise how much pain we’ve caused everybody. How much pain we’re still causing. I can’t go a single day without looking into the mirror and seeing your reflection staring back at me. I’m Nat’s confidante, she comes to me whenever she’s in need of some relationship advice. You know why that is? She says it’s because I know you best. She doesn’t know, she can’t know. She can’t know I’m still hurting and so are you.”

Silently, you had decided to leave it at this but Bucky didn’t want to give up to easily. His hands grip your shoulders forcefully, as if he means to shake some sense into you, but instead his fingers just dig into the soft fabric of your jacket. His eyes lock with yours and behind them there’s a wildness, a wilderness of emotions that you’ll never see again if you step away now.

“Don’t do this to us. Don’t you get it? We could be together! We love each other!”

“Keep your voice down, Bucky,” you hiss through gritted teeth, afraid the mild disturbance will wake up Nat.

He releases you and hangs his head down in defeat. “Bucky, look at me,” you tell him and he complies. He looks at you with all those raging emotions chaining him to that heavy heart you recognise all too well. “I love you. But I can’t be with you. You deserve someone that will love you better and that someone is upstairs, sleeping in your bed.”

You turn to go, tightly grasping the handle of the old suitcase. “Just because you think I deserve some better love, doesn’t mean you get to break my heart again,” Bucky whispers and it almost goes unnoticed in the dead of night. “You think I haven’t been trying? Surviving? Because I can’t live unless it’s with you. I’d just be existing, I’m just existing. Without you… I’m empty, too.”

“Love sometimes just isn’t enough, Bucky,” you reply, looking back one last time into those cerulean eyes on the brink of tears. “Our love isn’t enough to make me stay. I’m sorry, I truly am.”

“I love you,” Bucky tries one last time, hoping it’ll be enough to make you change your mind, hoping it can evoke even one spark of hesitation. But your mind is firmly set.

“Someone will love you. But that someone isn’t me.”

Sequel: “I can’t fall in love without you”

@beccaanne814-blog @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyries @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @bovaria @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplanbuckybarnes @hymnofthevalkyries @nenyakj @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @austinamelio @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @justareader @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15

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mindingmyownbusiness · 7 years

Text

Inked

Pairing - Tattoo!Bucky x Reader Modern AU

Prompt - Tattoo Shop

Summary - You’re dying to get your first tattoo but your anxiety has other plans. Could your new neighbor be the answer to all your problems?

Warnings - n/a, just adorable fluff, y’all should be used to that by now!

Word Count - 3483

Notes - Created for @bionic-buckyb AU writing challenge! Congrats on 5K Kait! I’ve got lots of thank yous to hand out: To @angryschnauzer for creating this amazing tattoo!Bucky moodboard for me, to @the-witching-hours12-3 for all of her help with my tattoo questions because I am clueless, to @dianelogan for always encouraging me and reading my stuff, to @bucky-plums-barnes for creating punk edits of Seb (links to originals HERE and HERE) that I stumbled upon and happily used for inspiration, and to the slo-mo tattoo video from Smarter Every Day for helping me visualize some very important details.

My Masterlist

“I don’t think I can do this…” No way were you gonna be able to hide the nervousness in your voice, especially not from your best friend.

“Come on, (Y/N). You’ve been talking about getting a tattoo for ages, now is the time! I promised you a birthday surprise and this is it. I’m paying for the tattoo AND I’m here for moral support, you can totally do this.” Nat was practically dragging you down the street as you began to feel more and more anxious about what was about to happen.

Before you had time to protest again she had yanked you inside a small tattoo shop. The first thing you noticed was how bright it was. You heard classic rock pumping out of some speakers off to the side but it did little to distract you from the constant buzzing sound that in your head seemed to be getting louder and louder with each passing second. Glancing around you saw several people with varying degrees of ink on display, both giving and receiving tattoos and having multiple conversations. The buzzing sound was getting louder and you felt your chest tightening, it was getting harder and harder to catch your breath. Just before you turned and shot out the door you had the vague sense of someone asking Nat if you were okay.

You slumped down just out of sight around the corner of the building in a dim alleyway, eyes shut tight, attempting to regulate your breathing. You focused on the feel of the bricks digging into your back, the sound of traffic passing by, the smell of the bakery next door. “(Y/N)?” You felt Nat squat down next to you and place a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

Tears began to prick behind your eyelids. “I’m so sorry…” you groaned in frustration. “I’m such an idiot. I can’t believe I embarrassed myself and you in front of all those people.”

“Oh sweetie, it’s fine. I’m sure most of them didn’t even notice and the guy I was talking to said this sort of thing happens all the time.” She leans in to hug you. “I’m the one who should be sorry for pushing you when you clearly weren’t ready. Just promise me that you won’t give up on the idea? I know when you’re ready you’re going to be so glad you did it.”

You opened your eyes and pulled back to give her a watery smile. “Alright, I won’t totally abandon the idea.”

“Good,” Nat smiled back. “Now, how about we take that tattoo money and spend it on margaritas and pedicures?”

You attempted to blow a stray lock of hair out of your eyes as you struggled through the lobby door of your new apartment building. Most of the move had happened over your birthday weekend but a few boxes still lingered at your old place. Thankfully, you were currently holding the last box, the one that made it official.

You looked up to see the elevator doors beginning to close. “Noooo! No, no, no, no, no,” you chanted to yourself as you shuffled quickly towards the elevator. At the last possible second a hand stuck out to grab the door, pulling it back open and you hurried inside.

“Oh my gosh thank you so much,” you blurted in a rush, adjusting your hold on the box.

“Sure thing,” a gorgeous male voice drawled out next to you. “Need any help with that?”

“Oh, I couldn’t ask you to do that…”

“Really, it’s no trouble,” said your elevator savior as he lifted the box right out of your hands.

“Thank you,” you blushed slightly glancing his way hoping he didn’t see but his face was mostly hidden by the contents of the box. You went to press the button for your floor only to find it already lit up. “Oh, we must live on the same floor!”

“Well, that’ll make delivering this box even more convenient,” your mystery man said. “I’m in 4b. You?”

“4a. I just moved in last weekend.”

“That explains why I didn’t see you. I worked a couple extra shifts last weekend.”

The elevator dinged and you led the way as the doors opened, quickly unlocking your door and kicking some empty boxes out of the way. “You can set it right here, um… hey, I don’t even know your name yet!”

“It’s James. But my friends and neighbors call me Bucky.”

He turns and you finally get a good look at him. Dark hair, kind eyes, well built… Your eyes are drawn to his left arm which is completely covered in beautiful and intricate tattoos from his wrist to past where his sleeve covered his arm. You suddenly realized you were reaching toward them when you caught yourself, blushing. “Um, sorry, I’m (Y/N). Thank you so much for carrying that in for me.”

“Like I said, (Y/N), it was no trouble,” he said with a lopsided smile. “Sorry, this is totally gonna sound like a cheesy line but you look really familiar… are you sure we’ve never met?”

“Um, I don’t think so. Maybe you’ve just seen me around the neighborhood?”

“Maybe… but I’m pretty good with faces, it’ll come to me eventually... Well, it was good to meet you neighbor. Guess I’ll see you around?”

“Y-yeah, for sure,” you stuttered as Bucky turned to walk away. In a moment of uncharacteristic boldness you called out, “Hey, do you want to grab a coffee or something sometime? I really do owe you one…”

Bucky flashed you another gorgeous smile. “I’d like that. Tomorrow morning okay? I always stop at that coffee place on the corner on my way to work.”

“Works for me.” You couldn’t help the grin that spread across your face.

“It’s a date. I’ll come by around 8:00. See you then.” With wink and a smile he was gone.

Bucky held open the door to the coffee shop as you slipped through and fell into step beside him. From the moment you saw his face that morning you felt at ease, all your nervousness gone by the time you had ordered your drinks. He was funny, kind, easy on the eyes, and it didn’t hurt that he let you do most of the talking, asking you questions about your life, your job, and your friends. You probably wouldn’t admit to dragging your feet but you really didn’t want your time together to come to an end.

“Well, this is me,” Bucky came to a stop in front of a vaguely familiar storefront.

“Y-you work here?” Looking up you came to the chilling realization that this was the very same tattoo shop that you had run from the previous weekend.

“Actually, I… whoa, hey are you okay?” Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed as he turned toward you and saw the terrified look on your face. You turned your gaze toward him just in time to see his concerned look transform into one of recognition. “It’s you! I knew I’d seen you before. You’re the girl that ran out of my shop last weekend!”

You covered your face with your hands, attempting to hide the flame of embarrassment creeping into your cheeks. The only thing that stopped you from bolting was the feeling of Bucky gently taking you by the arm.

“(Y/N)?” He pulled you towards him carefully. “That was you, wasn’t it? Please, don’t be embarrassed. Like I told your friend, things like that happen all the time.”

You blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes. “I can’t imagine what you think of me. I completely freaked out, just from walking in the door! I mean, who does that?”

“Believe it or not, lots of people react in different ways to getting a tattoo. Once, I was all set to give a tattoo to this huge dude, a linebacker or something. He was all about it until the second the needle touched him. Passed out cold. RIght there in the chair.”

You peeked through your fingers, slowly lowering your hands. “Really?”

“Really,” he said, giving you a reassuring smile. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Promise,” he said as he pulled you into a hug.

You were pleasantly surprised to find yourself calming down almost instantly as you inhaled his scent and felt the warmth of his arms around you. A sigh escaped your lips, one you hoped Bucky didn’t hear.

You felt him chuckle before you heard it and knew you’d been caught. He pulled back from you slightly. “Better?” he asked with one of those smiles he was quickly becoming famous for.

“Better,” you replied with a shy smile of your own, secretly enjoying the fact that Bucky had yet to let go of you.

Your mind suddenly clicked with something Bucky had said. “Wait, did I hear you right? Did you say ‘my shop’ as in this place belongs to you? You’re the owner?”

“Yup,” he said matter-of-factly, looking up at the sign, “she’s my pride and joy, in case you couldn’t tell by all the ink I’m sporting.”

“Wow, that’s awesome. Aaaaand now I suddenly feel even worse for running out of there.” You looked around nervously at everything but his face.

“Hey now, don’t worry about it, really,” he gave you an extra comforting squeeze. “Listen (Y/N), I had a really nice time this morning. Maybe we could hang out again? Soon?”

You looked up, finally meeting his eyes and seeing the sincerity and hope there. “I’d really like that, neighbor,” you said with a grin.

Over the next few weeks you and Bucky were inseparable. You were constantly hanging out at each other’s apartments, sometimes going out but mostly just preferring to stay in and spend time together. You were really enjoying getting to know Bucky and building your friendship but neither one of you had really defined whatever this was between you. He’d never tried to kiss you even though you could have sworn he was about to a couple times. You just chalked that up to wishful thinking. Some of your favorite times were when it was late and you found yourselves cuddled up together on the couch watching a movie.

It was on one of those nights that Bucky brought up the subject of tattoos again. “(Y/N)?”

“Mmm-hmm?” you murmured sleepily.

“Ah, I was… well I was wondering if you’d like to come by the shop tomorrow?”

You sat up and gave him a questioning look. “And why would you want me to do that?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I-I’ve just been thinking a lot about what you told me. About how you really want a tattoo but your anxiety is holding you back and well… I think I might be able help with that.”

“Bucky… you know what happened last time. I have no plans to make a fool out of myself all over again.

“I know! I would never ever want you to feel like that again,” he said hurriedly, “I was just thinking about maybe taking things slow, exposing you to different things in the shop one at a time so that you aren’t bombarded with everything all at once.”

You were quiet, considering his words for a moment. You had to admit, this plan might work. And if anyone could succeed in helping you stay calm it was Bucky. Plus, your desire to get a tattoo hadn’t faded so you were definitely motivated. “Alright, I trust you Bucky. Let’s do this,” you said with a brave smile.

“Great,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed your forehead. You were grateful for the dim lighting to hide your blush as you settled into his side and finished the movie.

As promised, Bucky was waiting for you outside the shop the next day just after closing.

“So,” you said, wringing your hands nervously, “what’s the plan?”

Immediately noticing your discomfort, Bucky took your hands in his. “Why don’t we just walk in first, then we can play it by ear, okay?”

You took a deep breath and nodded. Bucky led the way, still holding one of your hands in his.

Entering the shop you were greeted by a much different atmosphere than before. It was quiet, no music and of course no people. Bucky had turned out all the lights except for a couple of lamps around the edges of the shop. He gave your hand a squeeze, silently checking in with you and grounding you in the moment. “I’m.... good. Yeah, good...” you smiled up at him. “How about a tour?”

Beaming at you Bucky slowly led you around the perimeter of the shop, drawing your attention to the photography on the wall and away from the tattoo equipment. All of the photos were very artistic, featuring some phenomenal tattoo work but not in a blatant or basic way. Bucky pointed out a couple that he had done and named the artists who worked for him that had done the others. You continued to walk slowly around the shop hand in hand and before you knew it you were back up at the front.

“So far so good?” Bucky asked carefully. You nodded with a smile. “Ready for phase two or do you want to call it a night?”

Looking into Bucky’s eyes you felt a familiar sense of calm wash over you, just like the calm you felt that first night when he hugged you. You took a deep breath before answering, “I’m think I’m alright... what’s next?”

“Before we do anything else I need to know a little bit more about the tattoo you want to get,” Bucky said. “Basically where on your body that you want it.”

“Well, I know I want it somewhere where I can see it anytime I want so... no spots covered by clothing or any that I’d need a mirror for. Um, I was kinda thinking the inside of my wrist?”

“Sounds perfect,” Bucky responded, pulling you slowly toward the center of the shop. “I’m gonna have you sit down how you would if I was about to give you a tattoo, okay? Remember, we can stop anytime, just say the word.”

Bucky guided you over to a chair taking a seat beside you, still facing you, still holding your hand. He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb for reassurance. He took his time, explaining how the first thing he would do is talk about a design with you. He would sketch it out and when you were happy he would transfer that sketch onto your wrist before starting the tattoo.

“Wanna see how the machine works?” Bucky asked.

You looked at the small table where the equipment was all laid out and swallowed nervously. “It looks so, clinical. Not quite what I expected…”

“Picturing more of a medieval torture device?” He chuckled and picked up the gloves. “I take the health and safety part of my job very seriously, doll,” he said with a wink as he put on the gloves and picked up a small packet. “Everything that comes in contact with you is clean and sterile. I promise, you’re in good hands.” He assembled all the parts and explained the basics of how the machine worked. “I’m gonna turn it on now, okay? Just so you can get used to the noise.”

You nodded and mentally braced yourself. The machine came to life with the same buzzing sound you remembered from that first day. Instantly you were transported back in time and your body began to react. You tensed up in the chair as your breathing became more rapid and shallow.

“Hey, hey look at me,” Bucky urged, turning off the machine and setting it down to rub his hands up and down your arms. You looked at him, noting the concern and caring etched onto his face and struggled to take a deep breath. He scooted closer to you, pulling you in until your foreheads touched. “Breathe with me, (Y/N). I’ve got you.” You focused on Bucky, slowly syncing your breathing, feeling your body relax again. “Maybe we should stop,” he said. “I-I’ve pushed you too hard, we should-”

“No!” you interrupted him, pulling back to look him in the eyes, “No, I’ve come this far. I don’t wanna give up now. It’s just, I don’t know, the anticipation of it, you know? It’s always worse than what actually ends up happening. I know that in the logical part of my brain but my subconscious and my body have other ideas…”

Bucky thought for a moment. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” you replied, without hesitation.

“If anticipation of the thing is what is holding you back then maybe you should jump that hurdle as quickly as possible. I can let you feel what getting a tattoo is like without actually giving you a tattoo.”

“Really?” you said nervously.

“It’ll be just like getting a tattoo, but I won’t use any ink. The feeling will be exactly the same.”

You took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, let’s do it. Quick, before I think too hard about it.”

He smiled and repositioned your arm, scooting even closer. “I’m gonna try it here, on your upper arm. It’s less sensitive than your wrist and it’ll be much easier for you to see what I’m doing. Ready?”

“Now or never,” you said and braced yourself again. Bucky started up the machine, it was buzzing like before but this time you were more prepared. He held your arm with one hand and positioned the machine with the other. You held your breath as he pressed it into your arm. You felt pressure and pain, but not anything too overwhelming, almost like someone was scratching you hard with the lead of a mechanical pencil. It only lasted a few seconds before Bucky shut it off and set the machine down.

“Are you okay?” Bucky asked.

“I-I did it! I really did it! And I didn’t pass out or anything! Take that, linebacker!” Your excitement gave you such a rush and the enormous smile on your face was quickly mirrored by the one on Bucky’s. “Thank you so much!” you exclaimed, leaning forward and kissing him suddenly, without thinking.

You pulled back, shocked at your reaction and blushing with embarrassment, looking away so you didn’t have to see Bucky’s face. “I can’t believe I just did that! I’m so sorry, I was just caught up in the moment and, and…” your ramblings were interrupted by Bucky placing his hand on your cheek, turning your face to look at him.

“Don’t be sorry, doll. We shoulda done that a long time ago.” And he pulled you in for another kiss, one that you happily reciprocated.

You blinked sleepily as the sunlight filtered in through your curtains, bathing your bedroom in the soft morning light. Smiling you admired your new tattoo. It was finally done healing, small and beautiful, some might even say a bit cliche but that tiny purple butterfly just inside your left wrist meant a lot to you. It was a symbol of a fresh start that was a long time coming for you. New job, new apartment, new chapter of your life, this tattoo represented all of that for you and it never failed to bring a smile to your face when you saw it.

The mattress shifted as Bucky rolled over to place small kisses along your shoulder up to your neck. “Morning, beautiful,” he murmured against your skin. “Admiring my work again?”

“I can’t help it,” you said, rolling over to face him. “You are just so good with your hands.” Grinning you tilted your face up for a kiss, reaching up to thread your fingers through his hair. “In fact, I was just thinking about where my next tattoo should be.”

“Next tattoo? You hooked already, doll?” he asked, teasingly. “What did you have in mind?”

“Hmm… still working on the what, it’s the where I need your help with. Got any ideas?”

“Well, you could get one here…” He dipped down to kiss and suck lightly next to your collarbone. “Or here…” He brought your forearm to his lips, trailing kisses from your wrist to the crook of your elbow. “Or maybe here…” He moved slowly down to nip at your hipbone then slid down and lifted your leg to plant kisses just above your ankle. “Possibly here… any of these feel right to you?” he said cheekily.

“Maybe,” you smiled. “I just can’t decide...”

“Well then,” he said, grinning as he eased his way back up your body, “I’ll just have to keep exploring until we find just the right spot.”

TAG LIST: (I know y’all didn’t ask for it but I’m a sharing kinda gal!) @avengerofyourheart @buckyywiththegoodhair @beccaanne814-blog @imaginingbucky @cate-lynne @therealjamesbarnes @supersoldier-buckybarnes @ilovebeingjoyful @musichowler

#kaits5kauchallenge #bionic-buckyb #my fic #bucky barnes x reader #tattoo!Bucky

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valhallaas · 6 years

Text

Static {part 2}

Hello! Here is part 2 using my prompt for @bionic-buckyb ‘s angst writing challenge!

Pair: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Language. Implied smut.

Word Count: 1,029

Prompt: “Your legs bleeding.”

“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed that half my goddamned blood was flowing out of my leg, thanks for letting me know.”

PART 1

The sky looked like it was on fire. Oranges and reds danced and bled with yellows, the sun just breaking over the horizon. God, it was beautiful. The sight before you, the hues dusting the slope of his nose, highlighting his cheekbones. His full lips were slightly parted, his face resting on top of your bare chest. Steve had only been asleep for maybe thirty minutes, and you couldn’t bring yourself to move just yet. You really needed to get moving. You couldn’t be here when he woke, or you’d never be able to leave. Your eyes shut, hand automatically reaching out to run through his hair. You smiled, slightly pulling at the golden strands. It was the longest you’d ever seen it. You weren’t sure what was up with the golden boy, but you couldn’t deny that you liked it.

Get up, Y/N. Get the fuck up, Y/N. As nice as the night had been, you knew you had to leave. You could never stay. Biting back a groan, you gently untangled yourself from Steve’s warmth. Your heart cracking at the small frown that creased his forehead. Fuck, he was making you soft. Hastily you grabbed at your clothes, a heated glare thrown back at the sleeping soldier when you realized you had to leave braless. Just fucking great. The walk of shame and naked nipples ta-boot.

You had just slid your jacket over your shoulders when shuffling from outside the motel door caught your attention. Immediately the air around you charged; the hair on the back of your neck standing on end. You looked at Steve, waving your hand in his direction. He shot out of bed, the sheet pooling at his waist. He looked around in clear confusion, annoyance settling on his face when his blue eyes landed on you. He opened his mouth to reprimand you when you swiftly cut him off.

“What the fuck did you do?”

His confusion settled deeper into the lines of his face. “What did I do? You fucking—”

“Shh!”

Steve’s face cleared when he heard what you had been hearing. Someone was outside the door. You fell to your hands and knees, crawling over to the window and peaked outside. Fear settled at the base of your spine when you spotted the sniper across the street. Teeth digging into your lip, you contemplated calling Bucky. If anyone could get you out—

“Stay down!”

You didn’t think, hands flying over your head, the force of emotions making every window shatter. You heart thundered against your rib cage, Steve’s heart hammering against your back from where he lay over you. His body was tense, his breathing deep and in control. God, you should have known better. You should have fucking left as soon as he pulled out of you. You were an idiot, and now, you were going to have to fight your way out.

Again.

You felt the electricity pulsing through the palms of your hands. This was why they were here. To take you, to cage you, to exploit you. A weapon to use for their own agenda. Because you didn’t have a mind of your own. That’s why you refused the Avengers. Nick Fury had wanted you for Shield. Other interested parties had reached out, but you liked your free will. Nothing was going to change that. Not even these bastards. You felt Steve pull himself off you, heard the jangle of his belt as he got himself dressed. He was purposely using himself as a human shield. You sighed as you crawled over to the door, one hand grabbing on to the knob. You both stared at each other, waiting.

You heard the crackle of a com go off before soft footfalls came closer to the door. Counting to three, you sent a wave of electricity through the knob. You smirked hearing a pained scream on the other side. In an instant you were on your feet and moving to open the door. You felt it before you heard it. The fucking sniper. Taking a deep breath, you glanced down at your leg. You gritted your teeth at the sight.

“Your legs bleeding.”

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed that half of my goddamned blood was flowing out of my leg, thanks for letting me know.”

It wasn’t supposed to be doing that. Your body healed itself—it was one of your abilities. You were starting to freak out, and if you were freaking out, Steve was definitely freaking out. The edges of your vision started to blur. You had a hard time separating Steve’s worried expression from the light coming from the open window. You’d never admit it out loud—hell, maybe he knew that—but you were terrified. You put up a hell of a front, you were good at taking care of yourself. It was all for a reason. This reason. Nobody was going to have their hands on you; to control you, to test on you. But here you were—how naïve you had been. Leave it to the fucking Avengers to lead the very people to your whereabouts.

“Y/N? Y/N don’t close your eyes. Focus on me. Come on, sweetheart. Keep your stubborn ass focused on me.”

This wasn’t normal. You couldn’t feel the pulse—the electrical current that ran through your body. It was like you were a drained battery. Maybe you were. A whimper escaped you when Steve’s warm hands grasped your face. He was yelling, you could tell even though you couldn’t hear him. The crease that formed between his brow more prominent with every word. God, what had they shot you with? You wanted to look down at your leg again, but you couldn’t move. You couldn’t feel yourself. It was like you were outside your body. It terrified you to your very core.

“Steve,” You whispered, your voice barely making it past your lips.

“No! No, no, no. Buck, damn it!”

The last thing you saw before the dark edges completely overtook your vision was your boy wonder and the winter soldier staring down at you. The look of devastation on both their faces didn’t go unnoticed.

PART 3

#static #part two #angst writing challenge #bionic-buckyb #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #writing #angst #prompt writing #static part two

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