#but all my life knowing that im a complete fucking broken mess that only got more fucking broken n became even more of a fucking mess

[harrysrealgf]

NAIVE

You and harry broke up and a part of you can help but want him to show up at your door and apologize.

Fratrry¡reader

This is the good ending to this short thing, im gonna make a bad one bc I like this concept

———

“Well if you don’t like it, then maybe we should just break up!” Harry yelled. This was an argument, the biggest argument you guys have ever had. All over how you didn’t want him to flirt with so many girls.

You paused for a second. You couldn’t believe what he said to you. “Maybe we should.” You finally said. You didn’t want to obviously. You love him, but maybe it’s for the best.

He was shocked you agreed.

“Great. Then we’re broken up.” He loved you, of course he did! He was just a flirty guy, and if you weren’t okay with that then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Harry is a naive boy. He refuses to change or apologize about anything.

“I guess so.” You walked to the door, putting your shoes on.

“Where are you going?” He watched you.

“What? You broke up with me Harry. Do you just expect me to sit here in your house?” You asked. You were being sarcastic, but also serious.

“Well no, but..”

“No. I need to my house. I cannot do this right now.” You held tears in.

You didn’t even let him talk and you walked out. It was dark and rainy. You hated driving in the rain, but it was comforting.

When you got home you just ran to your room and cried. 3 years with Harry obviously meant nothing to him. He broke up with you so quick. He’s always been ignorant, but the one time you speak up about something that bothers you in the relationship, this happens.

He will never change, nor apologize to you. And you just need to accept that now.

You threw your headphones on and listened to music, that’s how you cope.

The past week has been a mess. You were late to work 3 times this week. You stayed up all night reading old texts where he was such a sweetheart.

But now it’s no contact.

You hoped he was come to your front door with flowers, and a real apology. Not just a lousy ‘I’m sorry.’

None of this was your fault and you knew it.

————

It’s been 2 weeks since the breakup.

It was another rainy day, 7PM. And your doorbell rang. You threw your hair up and went to answer the door, and you were surprised to see who it was.

Harry.

“Hi..” he gave you that look. That stupid look. The look he gave you when he was wrong and he knew it.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked down and picked at the skin at the side of his nails.

“That’s it?” You ask as he was silent for a little after that.

“No. I’m sorry y/n. I’m bad at apologies. I know I am, I don’t do it a lot but fuck, I can’t live without you. You’re the love of my life and I.. fuck I don’t know how to say it.” He paused. “These last two weeks have been absolute hell. Everything I see reminds me of you and well.. us. I know I fucked up, I know I’m too flirty sometimes and I try and stop but I just get carried away..”

“Your not obligated to say anything to any other girl Harry. And you were right. If I don’t like it then we should break up. And we did. You completely left me behind the one time I speak up about something. I don’t know what else you want from me.” You bit your lip.

“I want you! It’s not what I wanted to leave you behind. Fuck I… I didn’t even want to break up with you in the first place.” He admitted.

“…then why did you?” You spoke quietly.

“I was just scared! Your the only girl I’ve ever really loved and… every move I make it’s just another mistake. I should’ve never said anything to that girl and I know how you feel and I don’t know what is wrong with me. Your my girl and I want to keep it that way. I love you y/n.” He spit it all out like he couldn’t stop talking. “I love you and I wont let anything in this world keep us apart anymore. But I’m losing myself and I don’t want to lose you too. If there was something I could do to take back what I said.. I would do it in a heartbeat.” He took a deep breath.

“I can’t control myself without you. I can feel your touch even when your far away from me.”

Your mind was hazy. You couldn’t think correctly.

“Please say something.” He was teary eyed at this point. “I’m so dumb I should’ve told you all of this before you even left my house.”

“Come inside, your getting soaked.” You finally spoke.

He smiled warmly and walked inside.

“I brought something too…” he pulled a rello and a baggie of weed.

“You know me too well.” You sniffled, smiled softly and whispered a quiet ‘come here’ and walked to your porch

You sat on your rolling area and he sat beside you. He handed you the bag and rello and you started rolling.

————

You guys were laughing up a storm after smoking. High out of your minds, your thoughts started to come out.

“I didn’t want to break up either by the way.” You say taking a bit of the second blunt in your fingers.

“I figured.” You gave him a look.

“What does that mean?” You giggled.

“Cmon y/n. I know you. If you wanted to break up you woulda done it a while ago.” You shrugged while passing him the blunt.

“Your not wrong.” You took a drink of your water, “even when we were strictly only friends, everyone but you saw how in love I was with you.” This was all knew to him.

“How long have you liked me?”

“Maybe since like.. senior year of high school.” His mouth dropped open.

“Are you serious?” You nodded.

“Well I’ve liked you since like… freshman year.”

“Of college?” He shook his head.

“High school.” You mouth flew open and your eyes were wide open.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He shrugged.

“We had such a good friendship. I didn’t want to ruin it.. butttt… now I know your my soulmate I don’t need to worry about that anymore.” You blushed.

“Sooo… you wanna be my girlfriend again?” He asked.

“Hm I dunno… are you gonna be my boyfriend?” You tease.

“Of course.” He kissed you.

You pulled away from the kiss. “Wait a minute. You’ve liked me for 8 years?” He laughed.

“Love is love what can I say?”

#harry styles #harrys house #harry styles x y/n #harrystyles x reader #harry styles x yn #harry x reader #kyle spencer x reader #eddie munson #harry styles is sooooooooo hot for what #i love harry styles

[lemon-boy-stan]

Can I have a Steve Harrington x Munson female reader where she's the one that gets dragged into the upside down instead of Steve and is the one that gets hurt. Lots of Steve fluff where he's just worried about her being hurt along with Eddie telling her she's stupid for doing that and being worried brother

hiiii anon, tysm for this request, i cried while writing it so i hope you enjoy lol (also im so sorry i forgot about the munson!reader 😔😔, hope you like it anyway??) I DID NOT SEE THE FLUFF PART I AM SO TREMENDOUSLY SORRY

"0x1 = LOVESONG"

summary: steve's girlfriend dives into lover's lake instead of steve. genre: angst. warnings: swearing, sexual references (literally just one), mentions of death, death scene. pairing: steve harrington x reader. an: based on this song by txt. also, i don't know the word count but its long asf lmfao

in this world of zero / i know / you're my / one and only.

in this endless darkness / like / oh my god, / so / holy.

from the / tip of my fingers / everything / runs / far away

my life / before you / was a mess,

couldn't win / this one round / of chess.

Steve turned to you with a growl, continuing his rant. "I swear to god, Y/N, if you die here I am going to kill you. I will kill you dead." you grinned at his words, "yeah, 'cause that's what 'killing you' means." and Steve glared at you. You rolled your eyes.

Eddie snorted, "your love language is one kind of strange, Harrington." Steve huffed loudly, puffing out his chest. You nuzzled your head into his neck, kissing his skin softly. "Don't worry, Stevie," you whispered softly, "I'm going to be okay. We're all gonna be okay." Steve nodded uneasily, letting out a shaky sigh. "I know," he said quietly, "I know. I just... I can't loose you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't loose you, baby. I don't wanna love anyone else."

You let out a broken sob, trying to muffle it in his shirt, "you won't. You won't, I promise." The boat was silent for a while, with nothing but the tide of Lover's Lake and the shuffling sounds of Eddie playing with the sleeves of his leather jacket to keep you company.

Robin slid the antenna of the radio up towards the sky and spoke into it what you were sure she thought was quietly, but evidently was not, because it broke the long, suffering silence. "Uh, Dustin. Your compass has gone from broken to completely screwed with a capital - ahh!" the kid spoke from the other end of the receiver, "then I think you've found watergate."

Steve frowned, clearing his throat, "what's Watergate?" you shrugged. Nancy turned to where you sat, "uh, I think 'cause it's under water and it's a gate." you nodded your understanding. Steve gripped your hand even tighter.

Robin radioed off, "alright, well, it's in the Lake, but I think we should try and see where it is first before, you know, jumping aimlessly into the beyond..." you stood up. "I'll do it." no one else had as much under water experience as you did.

Steve shook his head violently, standing up too. "Y/N, no. You're not going down there alone. You're not." eyes looking like they would start flowing with tears any minute, you hated how stressed this was making him, but you were the only one who could go down there.

"Steve," you said slowly, "Steve, baby, I've got to go down there and see where it is. I need you up here to come get me if anything happens, but I need you up here if anything happens to me down there." this only made him panic more but you kept talking anyway, "but I'm the only one who's qualified to go down there, baby. I've got eleven medals in diving and I've done three years of lifegaurd training, but I need you here to come get me later."

And then Steve started yelling, "NO, Y/N! YOU'RE NOT GOING DOWN THERE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Robin and Nancy jumped in shock at the tone he never raised.

His eyes started to glint with tears but nothing actually fell, "WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION! YOU ALREADY PUSHED IT BY GETTING ON THE DAMN BOAT. I'M GOING DOWN THERE, I WAS CO-CAPTAIN OF THE SWIM TEAM AND I CAN DIVE, TOO. END OF CONVERSATION, STAY ON THE FUCKING BOAT."

You sighed softly, knowing he would forever hate you for doing this, but shrugged off the denim jacket anyways, Steve's cotton shirt hugging you tightly.

"Sorry, Steve," you whispered the words before pivoting quickly, staring into the murky obsidian lake water; and you dove. Steve roared loudly, rocking the boat angrily, making the girls shriek and Eddie swear in shock.

"Fucking bitch!" grumbled Steve, panic, worry, fear rolling in his mind, "fucking crazy bitch! She can't even see anything down there, she's gonna get herself killed, for fuck's sake..." he let out a tearless sob. Robin grabbed his shoulders, "hey, Steve. Your girlfriend's right, she is a really good swimmer. And besides, saw Eddie pass her a torch just before she went in." and Steve's breaths began to slow. Robin was right, Steve had seen yn dive from the highest platforms. He'd even seen her save kids in riptides who were close to drowning. She would be okay.

You let the torch in your hand guide you, the yellow light illuminating the dark blue waves of Lover's Lake as you swam through the bitter cold. Steve's shirt was not barely enough, and didn't even cover your arms, but you knew that the denim jacket would just drag you down.

You were counting in your head, how long you'd stayed under the water, and were up to just past thirty seconds as you kicked harder and swam below the darkness, towards the glowing red, away from Hawkins above.

And that's where you saw it, at the fifty-second mark, blaring through a heap of jagged rocks, brighter than police sirens, angrier than bleeding blood red. The vines crept along the center of it, hiding watergate from the deep.

In your head, Steve's voice told you not to go near the vines, but the vines themselves were pulling you near them, calling you. So you swam closer to Watergate, close enough to see that there was white in the red colouring of the lights.

And then one of the vines shot upwards and you screamed, silent bubbles leaping from your mouth, dropping the torch as it floated in the lake. You kicked, as fast as you could, back up towards the Lake, up to where the shadow of the boat was. "Just kep Swimming," said the Steve in your head, "you can do it. I know you can." fifty-five. Fifty-six. Fifty-seven Fifty-eight. You were going to die. Fifty-nine. You were going to die. Sixty - "hi guys."

The watter rippled beneath the boat and Robin swore loudly as head popped out, then your shoulders. Steve let out a gasp of relief. "Hi guys," you grinned widely, swimming over to the boat, "So the kid's a genius. I found Watergate and I think -"

But then Steve let out a horrified scream, an actual scream as your hands lost grip of Eddie's boat. You tried to look at what he was screaming at, but you felt it for yourself. The vines guarding Watergate had grabbed your ankle. You were screaming, too, heart thump, thump thumping. Steve gripped the surface of your hands, but the vines were stronger. They pulled you down, all the way down. Your heart was beating too unnaturally fast.

Steve screamed in horror, gripping on to your wrist, he didn't care if you would break. He couldn't loose you. He couldn't. But the words tumbled from his mouth, "baby, no!" and you slipped from his grasp, the current tumbling over your head, breath fading as the bubbles leapt in a wordless scream of your boyfriend's name.

And suddenly it was all over, the drowning. The vines dragged and dragged, under the water, under Hawkins. The water was gone, and for a while you thought you were dead; you opened your eyes and your breath vanished again, for a split second.

The upside down. You'd remembered listening to Will's tales of it in '83, but you'd never actually believed it. The place might as well be hell. It was like a bad joke, dead, blue, and red all over. But you didn't get to marvel at the place long enough. Because the vines, the vines were still attatched to your ankles.

And there were more or them now. More of them, that came from the blue-grey ground. They were taking it, your breath, as they wrapped around your limbs and skin and body. You'd thought you were going to die in the lake, but you knew you were going to die here now. There was no point in screaming. No one was going to hear you from another dimension.

from this / bottomless pit / you're the only one / shining gold.

now, i can't / stop thinking about you / when i'm sinking / alone.

And so you searched and searched in your mind until you found him, found his calm, safe words. Steve coaxed you, "it's okay to die. It's okay. I won't be upset, I promise. You can let go, baby. You can just let go." but then the other Steve, the other Steve spoke in shattered sobs, "you can't die, baby. You can't die. You've got so much for you, we have so much ahead of us. We haven't even gone to the Grand Canyon. We have to go to the Grand Canyon. Please. Please don't leave me."

And as the bats tore away at your skin and the vines wrapped around your limbs, you hung on. Clinging to his voice, both his voicees inside your head, trying to wrestle free from the grasp of the vines. "Keep fighting," said the Steves, "you've gotta keep fighting." they were the same person now. Keeping you going.

The tears, even though you didn't want them to, fell from your cheeks, you let out more sobs as they mixed with your blood, stinging the gashing scars. "It's okay," cried Steve softly, "it's okay. You're gonna be okay,"

the angel who one day, / appeared / to me

take me away / to your / hometown

i know / it's real / i can feel it

im full of problems / lovesick / nowhere else to go / i was fine to die, / i'm a loser / in this game.

the only one / rule / of this world / save me / take my hand, / please use me / like a drug.

"FUCK YOU!" Steve's voice rang low and loud, echoing throughout Hawkins. You craned your neck up because you didn't believe what you were hearing, you didn't believe it at all. Steve.

Not the Steve in your head, the real Steve, tears streaming down his stranger cheeks that never recognised crying. Steve roared loudly, "FUCK YOU!" a boat oar in his hands, "FUCK YOU AND YOU AND YOU!" Steve leapt at the bats, taking them out in groups of three and five.

Nancy shot them with her rifle, and Eddie and Robin tackled with them until the remaining two squeaked and flew away into the crimson red night. Eddie pumped his fists in the air, "EAT SHIT, DRACULA!" he turned to Steve and grinned, "guess there were vampires after all."

But Steve wasn't listening. He didn't care about the vampires. He just cared about getting you to saftey. Steve tore at the vines, ripping them in half. He thought that maybe it was the sudden course of adrenaline making him stronger, or the fear of loosing his girlfriend.

Either way, he tore through them, grabbing you rougly and ripping you from the ground. You cried out in pain and he almost broke down right there and then, but he told himself to get his shit together.

say you love me / say you love me

till the / end of the world. / all or nothing,

i want all of you / i know i love you.

i'm not going to make it / i won't be able to get / into heaven / i don't / belong there / there's no place / for me / in heaven.

at / the tips of my feet / everything / turned / pitch

"Steve," you sobbed loudly, "Steve. It hurts." Steve choked back his own sob, "shh. Shh. know. I know. You're so strong. We're gonna get you safe, okay? You're so strong. Just hold on for me, okay, baby? Can you walk, princess? Can you stand up for me. Please."

You coughed before nodding grimly, "yeah. I think. I think I can. Not ready yet. Not ready to go. Gonna - need you help me stand please Stevie please," Steve choked again as he watched you cough up blood, wiping it gently away from your chin. "Yeah, of couse, of course,"

Steve took three deep breaths, "I'm just gonna lift you. I'm gonna lift you now, okay, sweetheart?" you nodded at him, mind blank, focusing completely on his words. "Steve," you whispered, "keep talking. Please. I don't wanna die, please keep talking please."

black / in this world / of ice / you're my one /

shining glow. / now i can't / stop / thinking about you / when i'm / sinking / alone

i'm full of / problems / lovesick / no way /

to go / i was fine / to die / im a loser / in this game /

the only one rule / of this world / save me

take my hand / please use me like a drug / i know

i love you

Steve nodded, "okay. Okay, baby. Shh. Just listen to me talk, yeah?" it hurt to move, but you hoped he knew you were listening. Steve let out a shattered breath as he got you on your feet.

He smiled, "do you... do you remember how you alway got mad at me for walking into rooms when you were alone in them?" he chuckled softly, "it was - it was because you would always sing when you thoight I wasn't there. And I said you should consider it, singing, I mean, but you always said no because you said you sounded like Tammy Tohmpson."

"And I said, 'no, she sounds like a muppet. You sound actually good.' and you said, 'no, I sound like a muppet.' and also, also -"

You let out a sharp cry of pain as you walked.

Steve tried not to sob, "also do you remember that night in freshman year at Josh's party where you got really drunk and when you gret drunk you get sad and you told me, you said you were fat and ugly and I got so mad I got so mad because it's not true at all and oh my god we went for so long that night oh my god. I kept telling you how pretty you were."

He still kept talking.

"Or that time. '84. Where you - you saved me from Billy and you kicked his ass and I kept on thinking, you're so fucking hot and awesome - no. No. No, no, no. Please. Please baby. Please don't go. Please. Please, no! Please baby. Please. NO, DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ME DON'T FUCKING LEAVE ME PLEASE Y/N PLEASE PLEASE DON'T GO DON'T GO,"

But you were going. You knew you were going. You smiled softly, "it's okay, Stevie," standing limp on the ground, "I - It's okay." and Steve cried, sobbing big loud tears, "no, nononononono." you held your smile, "I could never make six kids anyway." giggling quietly, ignoring the blood. Steve sobbed, "I don't need six kids. I don't even need one kid. I just need you. I love you. Please. Please I love you so much." your ankle twisted so you fell and he held you in a bridal position, "it's okay, Stevie. I love you too. It's okay. I wanna... tell me ... the ... the Grand Canyons. And... and the Rockies."

Steve nodded but he was still crying, "we'd go... in a caravan. Just Like Eddie's. Every Summer. Our kids. Would... they would be so fucking loud and noisy, Y/N, you have no idea. Even more annoying than those little shitheads.

It would be so hot in there but I don't think they would mind, and on late nights we'd just chill under the stars and I'd try to stargaze but you know stars are difficult so anyway I think we would just sit there and watch them.

We would have three boys and three girls and they would run around the backyard and they would always be fighting with each other but that's okay because I mean, like, Dustin and stuff fight all the time and anyway I don't think that would matter.

We could have a dog. It would be because the kids wanted it and they said they'd look after it but it would always end up to be you and I who looked after it, we could call it Gumbo like that little green dude, you know... and I don't think we'd live in Hawkins but I do think we'd come back sometimes, just for old time's sake..." and Steve kept talking, talking long after he knew the lights had gone out, because he knew it was what you wanted.

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#steve harrington #joe keery #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington smut #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x yn #steve harrington oneshot #stranger things #fanfic #c: stranger things requests #madi answers

[ronkeyroo]

We've never met.

Every once in a while I send you anons to let you know how much I appreciate your posts.

I fell in love with your art and skyrim posts, but I appreciate you talking about your health, too.

I can relate.

I think what I have relates to muscle tension. The pain is almost constant and I can feel myself getting worse. Being like this feels lonely. Nobody really gets it. What's it like being in pain like this. Or the dreadful feeling of feeling your body failing.

Thank you. Really, thank you.

Wish you the best. Hope you like the crabs 🦀

I may not know you anon, and may not be able to pinpoint which of the exact tenderness you've sent my way has been yours - But regardless I feel and appreciate you for it all so dearly much.

I never...Expected to mean so much to people over Tumblr the way I did in the short while I was here. My art, my passions, all of the sillyness and good times we've shared has been and become so incredibly meaningful for me; Getting to share those joys with you all, to connect with new people, to reconnect to the wonderlust of art and community after having that part of me wounded for so long - Its the very reason why every single time I fell under and lost my ability to have all that, I hurt so badly. It feels shameful to admit, like Im some broken, fucked up record...But god how deeply I yearn for all of this to stay, how deeply I wish I never got this sick that I can barely keep such an important part of my life alive for longer.

Not many know how fast my life has changed the past years, especially under the sudden sickness I've been diagnosed with. The struggles and victories alike i've went through as well as the magnitude behind everything I feel; So many things completely derailed everything into chaos, and yet I kept doing my best to shield everyone from the ugly parts of how badly it hurt me until I couldnt any longer. I've struggled with mental health my entire life to the point that living was nothing but survival, I never realized how badly I took my body for granted until the moment it couldnt carry me anymore, until It got so sick that I can barely get out of bed to pursue living itself. I cannot describe the staggering, paralyzing fear this breeds.

Anon, im so so sorry that you too share a similar pain, im aching and cursing that we and many others have to undergo such struggles. I agree with what you say, that this is a whole new different type of helplessness that not many people can understand...I can only encourage people developing a deeper sense of sensitivity around this subject, implore them to remember how important it is to give the right space and care for both body and mind. After everything I've been through, learning how strictly this pain forces us into self compassion, boundaries and self care...I just, I don't want anyone to have to suffer any unnecessary hurt again when going through something like this.

I wish us all every bit of emotional and physical resource, care and inner drive to take care and heal out of this mess. And once again - I thank you from the bottom of my heart for finding strenght and joy in one another, be in in my posts or my art or anything else we've gotten to share together in this corner of our messy, but loveable world.

Im sorry for endiing up with a wall of text Anon, i'm just...It truly, truly all means alot to me, and i wanted to take the heart to express that. Thank you for reaching out, hang on as well, and thank you for the crabs - I love those dancing silly crustations...🦀🦀🦀

#Ronkey Replies #Tender Vibes

[wittynameme]

Tw : abuse and internalized trauma

i don't feel that "warm fuzzy satisfaction of a job well done" that was described to be as a child. Everyone around me acts like they get a sense of satisfaction and pride from the act of work itself. I can understand feeling better or proud of the result of proud of perserverence (only a little bit) but not the work . The words "work" and "productive" feel gross to me, like I feel an icky ace in my chest when I say it, similar to guilt or shame. Like if I said a slur on accident getting too into a song or something.

My hypothesis is that nobody truly feels pride at their work, it's a conditioned responce from positive and negative reinforcement from childhood. We are told over and over again that we should be proud of doing a task, like it's already implied that we should, we get praise and social validation for doing so and so we implement it into our own sense of self . Our parents gave us attention for it so we did it more.

Growing up I was asked by the older people around me "see, doesn't that feel better? Doesn't that feel warm and fuzzy, don't you feel proud"? Like- no I don't. And I'd really like it if you'd stop trying to force that feeling I to me . It feels violating. I want to cry.

And so over time I only assosiated work with:

. corporate propaganda

. people who fell for propaganda

. people trying to force feed me an emotion.

On the other end of that spectrum you had adults like my fourth grade teacher Mrs markham , who on the first day of school pulled me side , got right up in my face and said "I am going to break you" . And she damn well tried. To this day it's her voice along with the cocophany of others mocking me whenever I get up to wash the dishes. The shame physically hurts, that I'm giving in, that I'm doing what I'm told, that I'm broken.

"your just a brat that was never told no and now you cry whenever your told no, you need someone to counter act that"

" you deserve this"

" you need this to give you a spine or you'll turn into a degenerate"

"you need pain"

"you wont survive without someone yelling at you to get your r***** ass off the couch and do something'

"I knew I was right all along, one day you'll love me for this".

I want to throw up after cleaning. If feels dirtier than when it was cluttered. I feel like I'm not safe. Like this isn't my room anymore, like it's on display for someone else's approval. Like IM on display seeking someone else's approval.

And then I seek help from others and they say stuff like 'oh yeah I totally understand, I get so stressed feeling like I haven't done enough, but your feelings are valid! Just take baby steps and I know you don't feel like you're doing enough but I promise you you are"! Like no. That wasn't what I was feeling at all and I e never felt more alone in my life. Like yeah I get the feeling of guilt , like I'm less than human because I can't take care of myself, and then on the other shoulder I have guilt for doing anything at all!

I don't have a fairy and an imp I have a devil and then ju6another devil but wearing khakis.

I know. I know. You don't need to tell me. I tell myself on loop every day already.

I sound like a brat. Like an edgy teenager all "society just wants to break me ! I'm a reble ! You don't understand me MOM, I DONT WANT TO CLEAN MY ROOM because it's just a part of the machine"!

But like...we all know now that that stereotype is ageist and used to reduce teenagers emotions to a diagnosable set of hormones and brain chemicals right?

We can all move past that and acknowledge that I actually dealing with an intrusive thought that sounds like my elementary teacher telling me to kill myself because that's the only good thing I could do for my family and that's actually seriosly messed up and not in a quirky funny haha way , in a like ... Super fucked up that I thought it was funny haha as a teenager because of that exact steriotype right?

Now I'm *checks* 22 and dealing with SERIOUS issues completely alone because of this shit.

#Trigger warning

[aetherarf]

Hi hello i saw your requests are open!! And i dont know if this is allowed but can you do genshin boys caught cheating and they played it off and later on they started to regret what they did and when they found the reader, the reader is now happy or disappeared or idk ITS UP TO YOU TO DEICIDE HEHEHEHE IM SORRY I LOVE READING ANGST SM SO ITS OKAY IF YOU WONT TAKE IT !! YOUR WORKS ARE REALLY GREAT BTW!!! (more than great i mean *chefs kiss*)

Yes I've finally gotten to this one! I hope it's angsty enough for you 😘

[[ WARNING: CHEATING, NON-LETHAL INJURY, ALCOHOL ]]

[[ Summary: Kaeya, Childe, and Diluc end up cheating on their partner... They get caught, not by their partner, but someone else. As the days pass, they begin to regret it... only for their little secret to get back to their lover...

Note, Kaeya's is longest/wordiest cuz I didn't realize I should probably be a bit more brief... Kaeya favouritism lol.

Overall Word Count: 3'602 [rip me]

Kaeya Word Count: 1'841

Childe Word Count: 950

Diluc Word Count: 811 ]]

Kaeya

Distantly, he remembers an old saying from Crepus, in response to his question-- "Why do people drink so much?"

"Well... Alcohol doesn't solve anything, but it can make you forget questions you'd rather not think about."

He understood that as he got older. Why stress, and think about things he could not control? ... Well, maybe he should deal with them, but that's easier said than done when his entire life was on the line. Every night, in the tavern, he drank to forget. Not that he'd admit that to anyone.

And, somehow, he had forgotten more than he'd like to admit. On his lap, a beautiful woman, and he was tugged to a back closet of the Angel's Share. She tasted sweet, like wine and sugar. If it wasn't for an intruder, ( despite the fact that he was the one intruding into staff-only area ) he likely would have had a far better time, to completely lose himself in his inebriation.

"K-Kaeya!" Uh oh, as his vision focused, he could see Diluc's unmistakable silhouette, with that fluffy red hair and broad shoulders. "You," he pointed to the woman, "Out." The woman, not wanting to envoke the wrath of Sir Ragnvindr, running out immediately. But, Diluc didn't let Kaeya out, not that he was fighting to get out. Instead, he walked closer.

"What have you done?" he asked, voice low and full of rage. However, Kaeya could only smile,

"What do you mean, Master Ragnvindr?" He asked, all sly.

"You cheater," he snapped, "You do know that wasn't your partner? The one you swore yourself to? They were just looking for you, you know." He was nearly yelling, forcing his voice low...

And that, that idea, the realization of everything hit him harder than even the biggest bomb's that Klee had ever made. He... did.

"Look," The world was no longer warm an fuzzy, just a little shift away from his normal reality, everything crashing down. The thoughts that haunted him when you slept so peacefully in his arms, when he would see the knights laughing and smiling together, the ever-haunting knowledge that he was alone amongst them...

The way only you did not have that odd look in your eye, of wonder upon seeing something unique, or of something alien that terrified... You only looked at him as what he wished to be seen-a person.

And here he went, fucking it all up.

"Look," he said again, tears in his eye, "You, you can't tell anyone," He all but snapped at Diluc, who's eyes widened in shock, "I-I wouldn't tell if you did it, you have to do the same for me," he promised, desperately trying to think of what to do...

"Kaeya, this isn't about me, this is about you and-and them," Diluc didn't even need to say the name, "You're better than this, I won't tell, but only if you do."

Kaeya's brows furrowed, he wasn't used to feeling so... betrayed. Normally, it was expected, but this... but this was different! Wasn't it...?

"It has nothing to do with you, I... I can deal with it on my own, 'Luc." He insisted, straightening out his back. He was only a tiny bit taller than Diluc, but he wanted to hold it over him, to prove he wasn't going to let him use him over his... his mistake.

"Kaeya," his voice was... softer. Kaeya didn't want to hear this voice, this consoling voice. Not after everything, not... not like this!

"Fuck off, Diluc," he snapped, pushing him to the wall as he stormed out, "You made it clear you want nothing to do with me, don't try now. Not like this," he demanded, seeing Diluc look at him, eyes wide... shocked.

"Fine. Get out and don't come back." Diluc hissed, voice much lower, his eyes glazed over. Kaeya almost wanted to yell at him, to keep fighting... But, no, no, he didn't. He couldn't do that here, not when he was too desperate to figure out what to do, leaving through the front of Angel's Share, slamming the door behind him.

And he ran. He didn't know why, he wasn't headed home, but he just... he felt like he was running from his mistakes, the wind biting at his face, until he finally skidded into an alleyway, his back against the wall, his hand put up to his mouth, biting at the base of his thumb to stifle the sobs that wanted to burst from his chest. It hurt, oh, it hurt, but it felt... right, it felt like he should hurt, his teeth clasping harder onto his hand, tears rolling from his eye as he roughly breathed through his nostrils, his brain desperately trying to figure out what to do, what to say, what to think... But it all only ended up in a jumbled mess, of black and red and tears and crying.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but by the time he stopped biting his hand, it felt... hot, for some reason, and as he looked at his hand...

Red. Bite marks. His teeth had sunk in so deep, his skin was broken and reddened and bloody. He couldn't even feel the pain, like when the burning fire had turned to grey, dead embers... he felt nothing, his own bodily sensations distant in an odd way.

He doesn't even know why, but upon seeing his blood ooze from his flesh, he swing his fist towards the brick, hearing it clatter against it. He stared at his hand, pulling off his glove to stare, dazed, at his busted knuckles.

Holding his fist close to his chest, he finally walked home.

If I don't tell them, he thought, I can live with it. I've lived with worse. I live with worse.

He didn't want to.

But he did that-he cheated. He cheated on the one person that could make everything feel okay, like he never hurt anyone, like he wasn't from a distant corrupt land, like he wasn't the monster he was told to be.

Should he say it? Tell directly?

...

It wouldn't matter if he told immediately or in a week. He-he trusted you'd understand, he could... He could figure it out. He just, his brain was both sinking and floating, drunk yet sober, he wasn't in his own body right about now. He was somewhere gone, and he couldn't be making any decisions.

Shambling his way home, he opened the front door... And hesitated, listening. Looking. You weren't in eyeshot or earshot, so... He could wrap up his hand before he gave everything away, or at least, his temper tantrum of sorts. He rummaged around before finding that small first aide kit, cleaning the wounds of his own cause, and bandaged up his hand... for a second, he tensed, hearing your footsteps, but he opted to finish wrapping it before you could see.

"Kaeyaaa..." You whined, "You didn't come to bed..." You walked over, hugging him from the side, resting your head on him. How sweet you were, how cuddly... As though nothing happened.

"I'll come to bed in a minute," he said, "I just need to finish this real quick."

You peeked over to look at whatever he was messing with, and woke up in an instant, reaching over to his hand as he was tucking the end of the bandage away, so it wouldn't unravel so easily. "What happened?" You asked, tenderly holding his injured hand with both of yours.

"Nothing to be worried about," he reassured, trying to hide how his voice shook, "Just wanted to patch it up."

With one hand, you gently stroked his, and then lifted it to your mouth to give a loving kiss atop it. "Are you okay to come to bed?" You asked, still tired from the late hour.

"Of course," he wanted to kiss you, badly, but he refrained. You shouldn't, Kaeya, your mouth is dirty.

The two of you walked to bed, he undressing just enough to comfortably lie down...

Feeling how you snuggled up to him, sighing in such comfort now that he was home, and how you soon became a weight upon him as you sunk back into sleep...

However, he did not sleep that night. Or the next, or the next... Or the next.

Days, truly, passed. He did not sleep, he was not sleeping, Jean even scolded him for blacking out more than once, stunned when one second he was standing, and the next he was on the ground, no memory of having fallen, with the knights consoling him.

He started staying later, he had not gone back to the Angel's Share. Many mornings, he was not there when you woke. You knew he was busy, but... this was horrific.

Eventually, two weeks have passed. He steeled his nerves, and he was going to talk to you about it. He didn't want to live like this, with this guilt and agony upon the things he could not fix--but he could fix this. He could-he could make this better.

But, as he walked into your shared home... an eerie silence. As he looked around, it felt like... a lot was missing.

Everything that was missing, from simple objects placed about to pictures on the walls, were all yours. Of you.

Save for a single picture frame, with shattered glass, and a picture of him and you, smiling. It was one of the more coherent pictures the two of you had made.

Beside it, a note.

Dear Kaeya,

A woman came to me recently, telling me of you. Of how you kissed her, and nearly slept with her at the Angel's Share. She was unaware of the fact that you had a partner, and had finally found and confided in me about this.

I don't know what made you cheat on me like this, but worse still you've been avoiding me, and you wouldn't even tell me. If I knew... then we could have talked about it, we could have gotten counseling. We could have fixed this--fixed us. But you were gone.

I don't want to hear you say it, say that you don't love me or you don't want to be with me, so I left. I'm not in Mondstadt, I've gone to live with someone I can actually trust. Please don't look for me, I need time. Your lack of communication was enough to tell me you don't care enough to fix this.

Sincerely, Your former beloved.

Tears truckled down onto the paper, and he nearly crushed it in a single fist... But, no, he couldn't, he couldn't destroy the last connection he had to you, no matter how badly he wanted to rip out his eye, so he never had to look at it ever again. He collapsed the floor, the letter, and the framed picture falling to the ground, a broken, loud laughter rung through the house as tears fells down his face, maniacal in nature...

He wanted to be alone, and gone, for a long... long time.

Childe

Childe didn't understand the meaning of 'exclusive' as well. He loved you, dearly, but to him, love was a thing to be given more freely. Maybe it was just a lack of communication, or maybe he completely misunderstood your words, but with an old friend he slept with time and time again...

When Scaramouche saw him sending off his friend with a goodbye kiss, it being a casual commoditiy in his mind, only then did he get utterly chewed out for this.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" Scaramouche snarled at him, "You're not even shameful about this, you cheater." He snapped, as though he was truly angry for you, instead of just a generally very angry person. Childe shrugged.

"I wouldn't mind if they slept with someone else," he said casually, "Doesn't mean they love me any less, you know?"

Scaramouche tried to response, but he was simply flabberghasted. "Most people don't think that way, you airheaded moron."

Childe just laughed, brushing off the shorter harbinger, before walking off without a care.

But... in the end, the words got to him.

Maybe you didn't think that way? You two had spoken of marriage, a very possible reality that he was looking forward to... But, maybe there was a... culture clash, maybe? A clash of upbringings?

He found himself wondering these things at night, when you were snuggled up to him, unaware of the whirlwind of fear in his mind.

Silently, he resolved to simply stop--It would keep you happy, a little secret he didn't mind keeping. Maybe in many, many years, he'd mention it, but... he thought that was okay. That could be the last time he'd ever do something like that...

But, as he came home... You were sitting, waiting for him.

"Please, come sit down, Ajax," that morose tone, it made his heart ache... so he obeyed without question. You looked at him, face puffy and eyes red... "Tell me the truth," you asked, his heart sinking, "Did you cheat on me?"

He froze, but... "Y-yes, but-"

"I don't need an explanation," you admitted, a small, broken smile on your face, "I knew I wasn't loveable enough."

"Wait, no, no, that's not it at all-"

"No," you interrupted, "I don't need an explanation. I'll be out by tonight," you looked down at your lap, his heart shattering into even smaller pieces,

"Babe... please, please, let me explain, I'll never do it again-"

You stood,

"If you'd do it once, you'd do it again. Don't talk to me," you hesitated, "If you want me to be happy, don't look for me ever again."

He was trying to reach for you... but, he couldn't make himself grab you, not when you so delicately shied away...

Eventually, he gave up. No amount of fighting would stop you, and... and he... he couldn't keep seeing your pain as you cried for him to just leave you alone.

Was this love? The pain of another, the terror not of considering spending the rest of your life with them, but the terror of not spending the rest of your life with them?

Before he knew it, he was staring at a mirror, shards of glass in his fist, more than a few holes in the wall and a broken door, the shattered mirror distorting his expression...

Upon walking through the house, he saw that there was... it felt so empty, without your delicate touch and presence making it a place he lovingly called home.

"No," he whispered, hoping... were you here? Did you see... whatever he blacked out and did, the tantrum he did not remember? Did he, oh gods above, oh gods, he didn't hurt you, did he?

...

But he never got an opportunity to find out.

By the time he had sobered up from his tantrum... you were gone. Only a note, left behind, Don't look for me.

Because, you both knew, if he really wanted to find you, he could. He could capture you, trap you... hurt you.

But he didn't want any of that, as much as it hurt to have you away... to make you hate him anymore than you already did was enough to drive a man to near insanity.

Even after you had been gone, he would sit, whenever he was not forced to work, to fulfil his duties to the Tsaritsa... he would wait. He would cook your favourite dishes, read the books you liked, go to the places you enjoyed...

Only after weeks of this, did it hit him that you truly were never coming home. He knew that, but... but, somehow, his heart, his emotions hadn't caught up.

For a second time, he had destroyed your shared, no... his home.

It just wasn't home without you.

Unable to endure the idea of still being here, of a place where he had held you so many times, kissed you, loved you, and suddenly you were all but gone... He tried to do anything to avoid it, to avoid that demon that desperately tried to crawl out of him, threatening to burst from his chest.

Even the other Harbingers had noticed this, how... awful he had been, how he had lost himself. Even Scaramouche, the one most openly said to be the easiest to hate amongst them all, with an uncanny talent to bring even the most pacificistic souls to pure rage, had done well to stay his tongue, never kind, never sweet, but he would give him the isolation he craved, only speaking as much was necessary.

He didn't know what to do with himself, but whenever that happened... he'd just throw himself to the maws of death and, unluckily, crawl his way back out.

Diluc

Everything felt hot and fuzzy and...

Red.

Was red a feeling? His face was red, his body burned, and he could scarcely breathe, he definitely had accidentally drunk some alcohol, but for once, the effects of inebriation hit him. However, while he couldn't understand why people would devote their lives to this sensation, he could appreciate reality being distant, when he knew if he wasn't drunk, he would have spit up the wine and some extra blood, making it an even richer red color.

A warm feeling around his dick, he saw a pretty, if not distorted, face. It didn't take long for him to explode with sensation, his eyes shot wide... and a kiss pressed to his lips.

He almost chased that pretty face, only to see it disappear, he falling to his knees, rasping for air. Moments later, he felt hands on his shoulder's, shaking him. He shot his head up, seeing Kaeya looking at him in fear, and distantly, he heard his name...

"Diluc. Diluc. Diluc! Say something!"

Diluc stared at him, and opened his mouth to speak, but he only ended up jerking his head down, coughing into his elbow, seeing blood on his black coat... Kaeya noticed, too, frozen in shock.

"What happened?" he asked, his eye wide in shock.

"I..." Diluc rasped out, and his eyes widened in shock.

He realized what he had done.

He. He slept with someone who was most definitely not the one he had sworn himself to. Some-some random woman who was likely enchanted by the prospect of a rich man.

"Diluc!" Kaeya shouted, afraid, "What happened?"

Diluc shoved himself up, his hand on Kaeya's shoulder, already rushing to run out and all the way back to the Winery-but not before Kaeya grabbed him, stopping him, strength near equally matched.

"'Luc, I'm not letting you go anywhere until you-"

"I did," Diluc was still gasping for air, "I did something terrible." He admitted, with no small amount of pain.

"What did you do?" Kaeya asked, "Don't run, don't run, you're going to choke on your own blood-"

"No!" Diluc shouted, throwing Kaeya off his arm, running on pure adrenaline, even as his face was beet red, and his vision blurred.

But he needed to confess his sins, immediately, he needed to... now, now, now!

He heard Kaeya shout, but in the end, as he had to stop just to rasp for air again, the burn of alcohol still in his throat, he heard no shouting, nothing but the sound of his thundering heartbeats in his own ears.

Finally, he got to the Winery. You saw him, shocked, seeing his red face and how distressed he was, his hair nothing short of a fluffy mess.

"Diluc," you run over, he leaning on you, just to not collapse from the lack of air, "Diluc, what's wrong?"

"I-I..." He shuttered out, sucking in a breath, "I cheated on you."

You were reeling, "You-What?"

"I-I accidentally drank wine. I was drunk, I can't..." He was still heaving, "I can't breathe... I don't... I don't know what happened, but... She... a woman, she..."

He couldn't finish, but he didn't need to.

"You cheated on me and the first thing you did was come home and brag about it?" You asked, equal parts anguish and anger,

"No," he rasped, his knees buckling as the world tried to disappear on him, "I can't..." his hand went to his throat, "Wait..."

He didn't know what happened, but he only saw flashes after that--Your tears, his bloodied hands, you leaving.

And he was alone, on the ground, barely able to breathe, to think... to do anything.

You left him.

You were gone.

And, somehow, he wasn't mad at all. Having breathed long enough to move again, he stood... and he found the half-empty bottle of wine left on the table, the wine you adored so.

He grabbed the bottle and drank straight from it, feeling his throat and tongue swell, it crashing to the ground as he fell, unable to rasp even the slightest breaths,

I deserve this, he thought, I deserve this. This is all I deserve.

...

...?

For some reason, despite his better wishes, he woke up. He lay in bed, a cool, wet cloth over his forehead... his flesh burned, and his tongue was still swollen, he unable to wiggle it in his mouth. His breathing, still, was labored, but it seemed that he was still breathing, despite everything.

He watched as Adelinde cautiously walked over, looking down at his face, "... Master Diluc, are you alright?"

No, he wasn't, but he could not even sob and cry, for he could not breathe enough to do so.

A cruel twist of fate, but he was not deserving to cry, he was the one who hurt you. You did nothing but love him.

He didn't deserve anything right now.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #kaeya #diluc #childe #genshin kaeya #genshin diluc #genshin childe #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #childe x reader #bark writes #// also dw anon i've written way more messed up stuff than this #// :) #// also idk why ppl cheat beyond the thrill of it and i wanted to make it more interesting than that #// chlide was the closest to that idea #// i got some shitty news + people who didnt stop bringing it up so this took way more time than i'd like to admit

[wwwcapricorncom]

hii could i request something? i don't mind whether it's a headcannon with some drabble or a longer scenario, do whatever you have time for. make sure you're taking care of yourself 🥰

oki so nsfw haikyuu, im very indecisive so I'll give you a list of some characters - feel free to include multiple alsjdggwgw.

tsukishima, kageyama, miya twins, kuroo, bokuto, yknow throw in hinata for some spice. basically anyone that would rUiN me 😗✌️

okay so for the scenario literally go wild with it, I'd love to have a few kinks involved like dumbification, verbal degrading, use of "puppy", breeding, denial, overstimulation and masochism (or sadism if you look at it from the characters side).

feel free to improv if there's anything specific you've been wanting to write lmao I'm happy with anything.

have fun hehe

Eep! You’re so sweet I could cry T^T. You’re my first ask btw so Thank you thank you! Anyone who enjoys this post, please thank anon! This will also be my first work for haikyuu so I hope it will be good! In addition, i'll write the reader as Fem for now bc it wasn’t specified, so I hope that’s okay<3. I was gonna include all characters, but I felt I kept you waiting long enough.

Okay so im thinking…. How they act when domming WITH BOKUTO, ATSUMU, OSAMU, TSUKI, AND HINATA.

Genre: SMUT/MINORS DNI/ 18+/ Characters aged up

Warnings: dumbification, verbal degrading, use of "puppy", breeding, denial, overstimulation, masochism & sadism, a wee bit of impact play in Osamu’s... it just happened, gagging, nose pinching, praising, oral (fem and male receiving), dom dynamics, use of the word “daddy.

                                                      BOKUTO

Bo is a wild card, so anything can activate his dom moods and they can vary from service to hard domming.

You have to watch out for those days when you do something that he finds so cute because that’s when he wants to be a service dom.

And that means fucking you completly dumb.

“C’mere puppy”, just wants to show you how much he appreciates and adores you, so he has to make you feel so good that you turn into mush.

Always fucks you in a position that relies solely on you having to rely on him because it’s such a power trip for him.

Will have you picked up and getting fucked against the wall of your room as he tells you how cute you are.

Seeing you like this triggers something so animalistic in him, he is suddenly so hyper focused as he fucks you like an animal.

LOUDDDD

Just wants to see how wrecked you’ll get for him, but wrecks himself too.

~

“C’mere puppy, gonna pick you up.” You're a mess already, having been getting fucked into on your back by your boyfriend. Still, you put your hands out so he can pull you into his broad chest and up you two go. He smiles at your compliance and goes in to kiss your cute lips, albeit deeply as he sucks on your tongue and bottom lip which makes saliva string you two together when pulling away.

By the time he is done kissing you, he has your bare back pressed against the cool surface of your room walls and is nudging the head of his big, fat cock back into your needy hole. “Ah! Bo, fuck! like this?”

You can’t help but ask while clinging to him for dear life as he bottoms out in you. All he can do is nod, one hand strongly wrapped around your lower back, close to your ass, and the other flat against the wall above your head. He loves the way you cling to him, much like how your soft walls do at the slightest dragging of his cock. In and out. He begins to buck his hips up into you and you bounce at the sheer force of each of his thrusts, breast bouncing gloriously in front of him too as he eyes them.

You’re open mouthed panting in no time in rhythm with his thrusts as your eyes gloss over while looking into his golden ones. He searches your face before using force from his legs to start ramming into your spongy spot and you gasp, “fuck daddy wait!”

“Just wanna make you feel good pup, just let me…” He groans as he continues to fuck into your gspot, making you clench around him sporadically as you begin to moan, “i-if you keep thrusting there-

“You’ll cum? Good, cum for me and i'm not gonna stop either.” He states seriously as he picks up his pace, moving the hand he had around you to your hip and gripping it tightly as he enclosed you against the wall more. You had no choice but to take the harsh thrusts that he was giving you, each retraction taking the air from your lungs before the thrust to your spot delivered intoxicating pleasure.

Your fucking head was getting cloudy as you succumbed to the pleasure, sweat trickling down the valley of your breasts at the body heat you two were producing, the mere sight of you sruggling to determine what you should do makes him go feral. Gripping both of your hips, with a bruising glasp, he makes sure the top half of your back is still resting on the wall as he begins to bring you down on his dick while thrusting up.

“You look so fucking sexy like this! Shit, I love having you on my cock!” He is growling now as you moan incoherent sentences, clinging to him closely you decided on just nodding your head. Too fucked out for anything else as he dominated your throbbing core.

He moans loudly at this as he balls slap aggressively against your ass, “already fucked dumb, pup? Fuckkkkk just how I wanted you.” He says as you start to go weak from the pleasure of your orgasm staring to consume you, moving to place your head in between the crook of his neck. He doesn’t let you though, grabs you by the chin and forces your unfocused eyes to stay on him as drool trickles down your skin from your lolled out tongue.

How could he not watch you go dumb on his cock as he fucks your through your orgasm and into his. You two are going to be so sloppy when he’s done.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

                                                           TSUKIII

This fucking Psychopath mean and hard dom.

The most verbal degrader, but also lovesss to humiliate you too.

Just looks at you condescendingly, but is trying to hide his amusement.

“You look so pathetic right now, sweetheart.” is pushing his glasses up with one hand.

Has the other hand buried two fingers deep in your needy cunt.

All you can do is whine because for fucks sake he won’t give you anything, but shallow thrusts. All because

“If you want more then fucking work for it!”

Has you fucking yourself on his fingers in an instant while he snickers and smirks  (still being mean) as if his hard on isn’t threatening to fucking cream his pants.

~

“TSUKIII!” You whine as you grip his wrist that is connected to the fingers inside your dripping cunt.

“You look so pathetic right now, sweetheart” He states with a smirk as he gives you two sharp aimless thrusts into your cunt, making you whine louder.

“P-please just give me more! Stop being so mean!” You say as you look up at his shirtless frame. You know by the look on his face that he is having fun, that he enjoys seeing you so needy and you hate that you’re feeding into it. But it’s so hard, when he has been fingering you to the edge and stopping every time right before you could even release.

“You want more? Then fucking work for it, whore!” He says almost sadistically and you nod as you lift your hips up to meet his fingers. You begin to thrust up into his two nimble, long fingers as you clench around him. Your walls are thankful for the aggressive friction that you are finally getting after 3 near orgasms.

One particular rough thrust hits your g spot and you moan lewdly, tongue almost hanging completely out as you feel the familiar tingles of a strong orgasm. Just as you go to lift your hips up to ram into his fingers in the exact same way, his other hand is pressing you firmly down onto the mattress, halting your attempts.

You fucking choke on a sob as tears obscure your vision and he snickers, “Aw you’re such a crybaby!”

But seeing your flushed face and rising chest as your lip quivers, does it for him. And he’s a little mad at himself because you won and don’t even know it. I mean now he just has to fuck you- you just look so pretty, begging for him after he’s been so fucking mean to you. Crying. Gosh, it makes his dick twitch as precum trickles down to his balls.

Yep, now he’s gonna fuck that needy cunny and give you all that you wanted and then some.

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

                                                      ATSUMU

Much like Tsuki, he is also a mean and hard dom, but actually has the ability to turn into a soft one.  

Loves to degrade too but because he loves feeling superior. 

Will be at his meanest when he just lost a match and Def takes it out on that cunt. 

Right after like right after the game, he has you riding him in the fucking car. 

Is being so mean too, “don’t tell me that’s all ya got, ya little slut?”

“Ride my fucking dick then!”

Once you amp it up though, fuck his tune switches so fast. “God yer so fuckin’ wet, gonna breed ya just right bc ya think ya can fuck me like this and get away with it?”

Like sir you were just… anyways he will hug you into his chest and mark your flesh up. 

Fills you to the brim while praising and then makes you sit with it leaking into your underwear all the way home 

~

“Come on slut, fully sit on it. I don’t care if it hurts!” Atsumu grumbles as he smacks your ass, making your legs quiver and a few more inches to slip further into your stretching sex.

He’s so big and that asshole barely prepared you before telling you to basically spear yourself on his erect cock. He’s only this mean when he loses and as much as you wish you could say you hate it, you don’t at all.

You love proving him wrong and he always tries to be right, the only difference is he is being meaner right now. That’s why he slams you the rest of the way down on his cock and has your eyes springing open as you arch and shake with a loud cry.

You can’t even express how full you feel or how it feels like he could’ve just broken you, but your pussy can. It’s gushing around him as if you just came, making a mess at his base and his neatly trimmed pubes.

“Don’t ya fuckin’ dare cum yet, don’t tell me that’s all ya got, ya little slut!” He growls taking ahold of your neck with his large hand. You whine at this putting your two smaller hands around his forearm and shaking your head ‘no’, mind getting cloudy.

He sits up a bit, sweaty back unsticking from his leather seats as he gets inches from your face, still clenching your neck, grasping tighter even.

“Then. Ride. My. Fucking dick!” He snaps, eyes dark as he swipes his tongue over his bottom lip. You feel so aroused at this point, grinding your hips into his as your walls scream from the weak prep.

He continues to spew mean shit at you, further stimulating you as you begin to ride him faster. He is slipping soon after, groans tumbling out of his mouth as you bounce on his cock like a rabbit.

Whines sharply when you start to clap your ass down on the dick before hugging you to his sweaty chest. Your hard nipples will drag against his skin as he keeps you embraced, strong arms around your back as he sucks purple marks into your skin. Will begin to fuck up into you as he moans, “ya can’t ride me like that and not expect me t-to fill ya up, pretty!”

Doesn’t care for your response, too lost in his own delirium, as he concentrated on ramming all that fat cock into your hole in attempts to get deeper and deeper. And when he hears you finally cry out about how, “ ‘TSUMU! YOU'RE TOO DEEP!”

He is emptying his balls into you, with an iron grip on your hips to keep you firmly planted on him as he repeats, “gonna fuckin’ bread ya! Bread ya so good… look at that cunt drinking it all up ah!…such a good girl.”

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

                                                     OSAMU

Is the reverse of his brother- Is primarily a soft dom, but knows when to be a hard/ mean one.

Loves caressing you and giving you touches everywhere.

But is really good at commanding, does it calmly with hot lazy eyes. 

“Go a little faster… yea there ya go. Good.” 

“Don’t do that baby, ya wouldn’t want me mad right?”

Sometimes that is what you want thoe and you’re being such a brat that he understands too. 

That’s when he goes Dom, probably having enough of your bullshit.

Like if you’re teasing and disobeying him, per example, when you’re giving him head. 

Without warning will put a firm hand on the back of your head and push you forward roughly. 

Will fuck your face so meanly, scolding you about how, “this is what ya wanted.” 

~

“Come on, go a little faster baby.” Osamu commands and his matter of fact tone, the one he uses when he wants you to do something without protest, sends tingles to your cunt as you flutter your eyes up at him.

Deciding to obey this time, even though you know you want something a little more tonight, you begin sucking on his tip a little faster. He nods his head slowly, relishing the scene before him as he tilts his head back.

He’s really getting into it, baby loves when you suck him off on your knees. It always feels so good and he finds himself in this exact position. Head thrown back, eyes shut, one hand holding your makeshift ponytail, and the other on your cheek.

You love the look in his eyes, lustful and lazily hanging open as his pupils flicked down occasionally to drink in your movements. You were growing needy though, panties getting soaked as you rub your thighs together, sucking faster. His hums of approval indicated that he enjoyed this action as he wets his lips and rakes his fingers further through your hair.

Deviously you decided to take him in further and graze your teeth along his skin, something he loved but did not take kindly. It always made him feel way too good like he would cum way sooner than he would want to, so it pissed him off every time you did it. And you knew that it had worked now too when he let out a surprised hiss as you continued to lightly graze your teeth on his member. His breath is shaky as he lets go of the ponytail that he had formed to keep your hair out of your face.

“Fuckin’ mistake” he states seriosuly as his strong hand pushes on the back of your head, lunching you forward and making his cock fully slot itself in your throat. It hurt, it burned, and you were soaking yourself because of the pain. You loved when your daddy turned into such a meanie.

“Can never use yer fuckin’ words huh? Had to be a damn brat.” He grumbles as he starts to slam into your mouth, making tears trickle down the corners of your eyes as you try to keep up with the brutal pace.

He is groaning by now, the force of his thrusts making the veins pop from his arms and legs as your thighs get wet with arousal, “ya like it that much, nasty girl, huh!” You try to tell him yes, but a quick slap to your cheek makes you moan like an absolute slut. It was not enough to hurt, just sting and utterly surprise you, but it was more than enough for you, “don’t fuckin talk when I'm blessing ya with a full mouth.”

His tone is still as calm as ever which makes your pussy throb even more as you nod rapidly, desperately, doe eyes looking up at him as he smirks slightly before continuing to stretch your throat with brutal snaps of his hips. When he begins to cum, he makes sure to thrust fully into you, on his tippy toes, as he firmly plants one hand on the back of your head while using the other to pinch your nose closed.

You cum untouched, choking on his seed and gasping for air as tears stream down your face. But all he says is “ya wanted this and ya liked it, my little masochist.” Osamu has no problem being a sadist for you.

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

                                                HINATA

SERVICE DOM !!!

Such a precious baby (reminds me of Izuku) loves to eat you out, but because he really wants you to feel immense pleasure.

Is so attentive, sucks on your breasts, licks your inner thighs, places kisses on your ankles and legs before diving in.

Holds your hand while using the other to spread you apart.

“You taste so good baby.”

Is the type to shake his head from side to side while eating that pussy.

Will overstim you on accident at first, but realizes he loves how easy it is to reel orgasms out of you when you’re sensitive.

“Cum again for me please?”

Oral with him almost always leads to over stimming… both ways.

~

“Another kiss here… and here….here.” Hinata mumbles against your skin as you arch into the touch of his soft, wet lips. He started at your own lips, made his way down to sucking your neck and breasts, paying special care to your nipples. Sucks and nibbles on them for so long that you're wet and the buds are throbbing and sore.

He will then move down, dragging his tongue down your stomach, kissing your belly button, licking at your thighs before grabbing them. He spreads you open, groaning at how your cunt is seeping with arousal as he stands up, your legs on his shoulders while he admires you.

Will kiss your ankles as he rubs his underwear covered cock along your slit, collecting your slick and dampening the fabric. When he can no longer kiss your flesh or produce light touches here and there, too needy, he dives in and kisses your pussy.

“Sho!” You gasp as your hands fly to his hair, weaving into the orange tuffs as he licks a long flat tongue up your entire cunt. He’ll sigh against your puffy clit after this, amazed that he gets to taste you whenever he wants, and this starts the feast.

He starts to suck and nip at your folds, cute nose bumping against your clit which makes you squeal each time, “you taste so good baby.” He groans again as he reaches to hold your hand that abandoned his hair in favor of gripping the sheets. Your heart swells at the cute action as you grasp his warm hand back and he reallys starts to get lost in your soaking cunt.

So engrossed in tongue fuckng you while rubbing your clit with his thumb, he doesn’t register your slight warnings of, “S-sho you’re going too f-fast!” Because you weren't used to being touched and cared for so attentively, him being the first to do you like this, and your orgasm was approaching so fast it was shocking you.

Precum is rushing out of his cock when you start cumming on his tongue, but he doesn’t stop there. He starts to shake his head between your legs from side to side, further stimulating you and getting sloppier, as he gulps and slurps and continues to eat you out.

“TOO SENSITIVE!” You yell as you start squirming away, but his hold on your hand just gets tighter as he flicks his eyes up to you, “cum again for me please? I know my beautiful girl can…” He says, hot breath fanning your quivering cunt as his dark eyes look up at you. You whine at his words, but accept and he's back to over-stimulating you, using his tongue to weave through your folds and into your hole, rubbing your clit harder.

You gush so much for him by the end of the night. And he hasn’t even fucked you with that monster stamina yet.

#haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #bokuto smut #tsukishima smut #atsumu smut #osamu smut #hinata smut #haikyuu headcanons #reader insert #haikyuu x f!reader #haikyuu asks #haikyuu drabbles #www.capricorn.com

[suguruverse]

ohkay hi! may i just say, that i've just encountered your blog and i am already LOVING IT period. i just love it. it's amazing.

alright, i was thinking maybe you could do something like first meeting headcanons. and hopefully for the manager of karasuno 👀 (i was mainly thinking of the manager being a second year but ig it's not that important) it could be something like meeting at a training camp, or at a game, or at nationals, something like that. and i was thinking kuroo, oikawa and atsumu i love that man so much fml

that would be it ly! 💘

— FIRST MEETINGS WITH THE HAIKYUU BOYS AS KARASUNO’S MANAGER

includes - kuroo tetsurou, oikawa tooru and miya atsumu

a/n - hi bub!! hehe thank you for your support i love you <33 i loved this req lmao hope you like it!

♕ KUROO TETSUROU

- bro lets be completely honest, he is an absolute stuttering mess when he first meets you

- he doesn't even realise that you can see him just staring at you for a solid five minutes

- this man has 0 experience with picking up girls so he will just be saying the worst pick up lines ever or some random fact that no one cares about

- it was the first day of the tokyo training camp with karasuno, nekoma and fukurodani and you and some of the other manager's were in charge of making lunch and dinner

- since you were in the kitchen basically for the entire day, you never really had the change to meet any other the other players

- once dinner arrives, they all flood into the cafeteria looking a little bit... dead?

- you serve them their food, only receiving a toneless "thank you"

- until kuroo walked in, as rowdy and loud as he is

- when he arrived in front of you to get his rice and soup, he just stopped and looked at you

"good work today! here's your food"

kuroo: o-o

"um is there something on my face?"

"p...pretty"

"im sorry"

"YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY"

- when i tell you the silence that just filled up the room

*bokuto in the background* "BRO ASK HER OUT LATER, YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE, I'M HUNGRY"

- and then he just awkwardly runs away to his table where kenma was and just plopped on the table, his face hiding in his arms while kenma is just very uncomfortably patting kuroo's back in comfort

- the next day at breakfast, you sneaked your number onto his food tray (that was on a piece of paper) and he didn't even notice it was there until he nearly ate it

- from that day on, you'll just see him awkwardly trying to make conversation with you

- when you switched with yachi to help out the boys during the day like filling up water bottles and shit, kuroo is trying to impress you but is also doing incredibly shitty at the same time

- he pulled a hinata a couple times and got hit straight in the face by bokuto

- but to his surprise, you were already in the nurse's office because tanaka starting waving his shirt around and accidentally hit nishinoya right in the nose

- kuroo acts like he had a broken arm or something just so you can baby him

- he genuinely believes in love at first sight and asks you out at the end of the training camp lol he has no patience

♕ OIKAWA TOORU

- it was at the spring high preliminaries and both teams were warming up

- it was his turn to spike when boom bam he hits you straight in the face

oikawas brain: oh no i hit pretty girl. i should ask pretty girl if she's okay. pretty girl really pretty

- while daichi is trying to stop noya and tanaka from ripping oikawas hair out, he was already running towards you, asking if you were okay

- you insisted you were okay as you were kind of embarrassed with the crowd watching you, and soon after, the game had began

- oikawa was already thinking of 12 ways he could apologise to you but for now, he had to focus on the game

- whenever there was a timeout or break, he noticed the small twitches in your eye and the bruises that were faint, but still there

- although the game had resulted in karasuno's win, oikawa couldn't help but feel worse when he saw you wince in pain when hinata excitedly pulled you into his chest for a hug

- kiyoko recommended you go to the nurse's office but there was no point since you were about to leave anyways

- like kuroo, this man acts as if no one can see him staring at you like a creep for afar

- you rolled your eyes for the 30th time that day when oikawa approached you again as you were about to get on the bus

"hey you! are you sure you're okay?"

"im fine, thanks"

"are you sure? is there something you want me to do for you?"

- he doesn't really know how to continue this conversation so he just stands there, waiting for you to say something

"you seem a little desperate oikawa-san"

- he turns into a blushing mess when you tease him and you cannot tell me otherwise

"what about a date then? as an apology. i don't think i can sleep at night if i don't at least try to make it up to you"

"sorry not interested"

"OH right.. sorry i just thou-"

"i was just joking oikawa-san, tomorrow at 5?"

"YES"

- on the date he keeps mentioning how nervous he was because of how pretty he thought you were and how he couldn't sleep

- love sick bitch

- he also tries to be so damn smooth as well and he thinks that it's working but it really isn't

- pls for the love of god just boost his ego he needs it

- i swear you could be celebrating your 3 year anniversary but he will still be mentioning that day, telling everyone how it was fate or whatever

- and you could be on the side like what mf my face hurt for like 3 weeks shut up

♕ MIYA ATSUMU

- yay we're at nationals

- anyways the venue was fucking massive so you'll end up getting lost right?

- well yes, but you didn't really expect it to be when you were trying to escort hinata to the fucking toilets

- it was only 20 minutes until their match against inarizaki was gonna start and that mf was still in the bathroom

- and you can't exactly enter the men's bathroom so you just started pacing in front of the door like a psycho

- conveniently atsumu and suna were walking to the bathroom and saw you just muttering to yourself

- he honestly thought you were some time of perv and hella weird

"OI CREEP, what the hell a ya doing?" says the man with piss hair and reeks of axe

- and like a movie, you turn around, hair flipping in the wind and he can hear angels singing and a bright light surrounds you

- mans is on the flooring crying because wtf he just saw the most beautiful person he's ever seen

- pls snap him out of it, ur friend is probably shitting his pants in the toilets behind you and you need to see if he's okay

- he cannot keep eye contact for the life of him

- you could just be like "i'm really sorry but im the mangager for karasuno and one of my friends are in there, so can you just check on him pls"

- and he'll just smile and nod at whatever you say like "mhm yeah totally karasuno? mhm thats hot, wanna go out with me?"

- atsumu is like a demon possessed him and suna out here watching him like tf i just need to take a piss man shut up

- yeah you left with atsumu's number and left hinata all alone

- he left the bathroom and almost cried when he realised he got ditched for dick

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #atsumu headcanons #kuroo headcanons #oikawa headcanons #atsumu hcs #oikawa hcs #kuroo hcs #atsumu imagines #oikawa imagines #kuroo imagines #atsumu scenarios #oikawa scenarios #kuroo scenarios #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu x y/n #oikawa x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x you

[lavenderwhore444]

Ok so we all love pervert shigaraki ( Ik u do so please don’t lie to ur self love 😀) anyways what if shigaraki had a huge crush on the reader and steals there panties ( when there out in a mission working there ass off) but the reader notices and placed cameras in her room just to see who’s stealing them surprise surprise it’s ya boy shiggy and the reader finds it kind of cute that he’s that desperate but is also upsetting because there working and he’s here getting off on her stuff so.the reader catch’s him in the act and shows him the videos ( shigaraki at this point is crying from embarrassment and he’s begging for the reader to delete the videos) as a punishment the reader pegs the shit out of him and the ending is fluff since I do love shiggy

First of all English isn’t my first language so apologizes for any mistakes and for the ending please work ur magic sis 

💍🧎🏻‍♀️marry me this is so good

COMMISSIONS

If you want to use interactive fics, it's easy and makes reading fics SO much better. First, you download the Google Chrome extension. You'll see it in the top right corner of your screen. Next, you enter your name in the first box. If you want to change something other than y/n, please click on the text that says “want to change something other than y/n?” here, you can change any word you want to a different word. When I talk about your quirk I will use y/q

Warnings: smut (obvi) shigaraki is a perv degradation a little I think #peg shiggy 2021 fingering for Shig 😌 humiliation??? Idk what to put man request says it all

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🌸 I have an irl on here rn because we both simp for crusty men, and she’s probably lowkey scared of me. I was drunk on having social interaction for the first time forever and was like, “omg, I write for them. I have Tumblr 🤪” Listen, I told you I would do anything for him, and I fucking meant it, ok? And he’s a little pervert, so they're kinda gross (indirectly making me have gross kinks too ig ☹️) Plus, I warned you about his piss kink, that should've been a good indicator to the rest of these 🙄 , Anyways anon has sent me THE BEST SCENARIOS OMG. I have read a lot of Shigaraki fics, BUT THESE ARE SO ORIGINAL IM SO HAPPY. There's one, in particular, I'm excited to write because it's just so cute, omg. 🌸

It was the fifth time this week. You were out on another mission, and Tomura was half-naked in your room on the verge of passing out from how many times he had cum into various articles of your clothing. It started off as just your panties. Perverted but not insane. As time went on, it only got worse. The panties weren’t good enough. He started putting one of your shirts over his face as he got off, and that worked...for a while. His next fix was to steal some of your perfume, but it wasn't good enough.

He felt disgusting the first time he got off in your room. He felt like he'd crossed a line (not that he hadn’t already), but it was the best orgasm of his life. What's done is done, so he might as well take advantage of the rest of your room. He was pretty comfortable now, face pressed into your pillow, inhaling your scent as his body spasmed for the last time. He was utterly spent.

And now, for the worst part, being in your room surrounded by your stuff, smelling your perfume, but still being all alone. It wasn't like Shigaraki had a crush on you or anything. Him having a crush on y/n? Unheard of. The rest of the girls in the league were like family to him. You two just weren't there yet, even though it had been five months, and he blushes whenever you talk to him. So what if he wants to punch Dabi whenever he looks at you? He wasn't in love with you. God damn it, he was just horny. That was it. That was the extent of his feelings, and they would go away.

They didn't go away, but more of your stuff sure did. It was becoming more common for clothing in your room to go missing only to end up clean and folded in the proper drawer. It was weird, but someone was doing most of your laundry for you. It wasn't Dabi taking your stuff. He could get his dick wet whenever he wanted. The other guys preached “don’t lewd y/n” and tried to fight Dabi when he put his hand on your thigh. Toga would steal your shirts but definitely not your underwear. If she did steal your clothing, she’d post a mirror pic and tag you in it.

So that left your boss. Tomura Shigaraki. You thought he hated you. He got all quiet and distant when you talked to him. Was he nervous? He glared at you and Dabi. Or was it just Dabi? Maybe the little creep did like you. He was kinda cute. His messy hair looked so soft, his eyes lit up when he won his games, Shigaraki had this little smile when he was watching the league sit together, and he had discarded father almost completely. But he was a creep, and you definitely didn't have a crush on him. Definitely not.

But part of you didn't want to tell him to stop. It took a while to cook up a plan, but it was foolproof when you came up with one. You found stole the money to invest in some hidden cameras. By now, you were starting to accept that you might like him just a little. But in a sad puppy kind of way. You didn't actually have a crush on him. Nope, not at all.

And it was kind of mean that he was making you do all this work while he got to jerk off in your bed. You'd come back with cuts, scrapes, bruises, and even a broken bone one time, just for him to totally ignore you. He had spent all day ruining your clothes and wouldn't even look at you.

Your behavior had changed towards Tomura, though, and he had definitely noticed. You were acting the same way he was. You were always blushing when you talked to him. You sat next to him while he played games, but it's "just because you're bored." Maybe you were starting to like him back. He had come to terms with his not-so-little crush on you. This didn't stop him from acting like a perv but still.

The cameras had been up for a while, and honestly, watching those videos back was way better than watching porn. Shigaraki looked so sweet and desperate. The way he laid in your bed afterward, holding your pillow, made your heartache for him. He just looked so lonely. You decided it was time to confront him.

"I'm going out for a couple days, guys!" you called, walking out with a backpack on your shoulder.

"I'll miss you, dollface," Dabi called back, blowing a kiss as you laughed at him.

The glare Shigaraki gave him could have dusted him right then and there. You stayed at a cheap motel for a while, watching the cameras. It was pretty nice to finally have some quiet. It didn't take long for Shigaraki to wander into your room with a raging hard-on. You took your time getting home, knowing he'd be there for at least a few hours. You glanced at your phone once in a while, catching two of Shigaraki’s orgasms. You’d hear a strangled cry and see his mouth wide open, eyes squeezed shut, and back arching. He’d coat his chest and your underwear in hot cum. You started to walk faster. Most of the league was asleep as you used your levitation quirk to float silently up the stairs. You opened the door.

“Who knew you were such a perv, Shiggy. All this time, I thought you hated me, but it looks like someone has a little crush on me, ” you said sweetly.

He looked like a deer in headlights, eyes wide as his body froze. A soft whimper left him as his face turned an angry shade of red that matched the head of his cock.

“N-no please, I'm sorry y/n I-i just didn't um ill leave. I'm so sorry, ” he muttered.

He got up, but you pushed him back on the bed.

“Not yet, Shiggy. I have something to show you, ” you said in a singsong voice.

You sat next to him, slinging your left arm around his shoulders. You pulled up the live feed.

“Aww, look at how cute we look right now, Shig, ” you teased.

His face told you that he was terrified.

“Y-you didn’t, ” he tried to fool himself.

“Oh, I did, ” you whispered in his ear.

You heard him sniffle. You slid the bar at the bottom of the screen back to show him what he was doing mere minutes ago.

“No, you can't, ” he choked as tears fell from his eyes, “please don’t show anyone y/n. Please I c-cant. I'm sorry, just don’t show anyone, ” he sobbed, “please don't. I’ll never talk to you again if you want I’ll do anything just don't show anyone, ” he cried.

“Anything?” you questioned.

“Anything, ” he nodded, still crying.

“Well, first of all, ” you said, “you can start by taking me out on a date, ”

He nearly choked as his eyes widened.

“What?” he whispered, wiping his eyes and nose.

“I said that you’re going to take me out on a date, and please use a tissue, ” you said.

He nodded and cleaned up his face the rest of the way.

“And second, you can take off your shirt and bend over the bed with your legs spread, ” you whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss just below it.

He looked confused for a second until his eyes widened, and he did as he was told.

“Now, don't play dumb with me. I know you’ll like this. I've seen you try and finger yourself before, but you did a shit job, and I promise this will be even better, ” you smiled, ruffling Tomura's hair.

He was getting more comfortable with you now, giving a nervous smile and humming when you touched his hair.

You walked back with everything you needed, only to sigh disappointedly, “oh Shiggy, that's not nearly wide enough. I know you can do better than that. Spread your legs more,”

He nodded, eager to please, and nearly did the splits. You giggled and smacked his butt. He jumped, causing you to laugh again.

“You’re so precious. It's a real shame I'm about to turn you into a slutty mess, ” you cooed.

He felt two slimy fingers press against his hole, and he shuddered. He tried to relax and let you press into him. It didn't take very long to get him moaning, bucking against your fingers. Two became three, and three became four before you decided he was ready. You were looking forward to eating him out, but this was supposed to be a punishment. You lined him up, rubbing the head against his hole that was still clenching around nothing. You pushed the entire thing inside of him as he screamed.

You scoffed, “do you know how many people you just woke up? Do you want the whole league to know you're getting pegged as punishment for being a disgusting, perverted slut? You want them to know that I'm fucking your ass? Huh? Do you? Cause I'll bend you over the fucking bar and show them who you submit to, ”

You started thrusting at a brutal pace. Tomura pushed his face into the pillow only for you to levitate him so he couldn't do anything to stop all the sounds coming out of his mouth. You were looking forward to all the looks you'd get as you smirked, and he struggled to sit next to you. You managed to go even harder.

“You’re not sitting or walking this week, Shiggy, ” you cooed.

“No, ” he choked out, “n-no call me Tomura p-please, ” he moaned.

“Tomura, ” you whispered in his ear, “pretty name for a pretty boy, ”

You reached around and twisted his nipple, causing him to cry out. Tomura only got louder as you reached around and grabbed his balls another hand-squeezed his tip between two fingers and pinched gently before jerking him instead. He was losing it now, tongue hanging out, and eyes rolled back. Little screams were ripped from him, and he jerked around.

“Y/n ‘m gonna, ‘m gonna cum, ” Tomura slurred.

“You gonna cum for me, Tomu? Go on, do it, ” you encouraged.

He cried out, his body going rigid as he shot cum out of his cock. He was gasping and panting as you let him flop down on the bed and pulled out.

“C-can you help me back to my room, ” he whispered, looking sad.

“No, ” you said as he frowned, eyes watering again, “because you're staying with me tonight. Get in bed, ”

He blushed and crawled into the corner. You yanked him closer, taking over as the big spoon.

“Goodnight, Tomura, ” you said. Kissing his back and shoulders, you rubbed his stomach and chest, “you're so pretty, baby. I forgive you. It’s obvious you’ve never had a crush on a girl before, and I think you learned your lesson, ” you said, rubbing his sore ass.

He nodded, “I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do, ” he mumbled.

“I know, sweetie, ” you whispered, “I know. Was what we did ok? Did you like it?”

He nodded, “I liked it, ” he whispered.

“Do you need anything, ” you asked.

He shook his head, “just tired, ”

“Alright, baby, just get some sleep, love, ” you said.

He nodded as you both found an absurd amount of comfort in being so close to each other. You slept like a baby. You woke up to him gazing at you lovingly, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

He kissed your forehead, “I hope you know you're never getting rid of me, ” he smiled.

He kissed you, “y’know I'm kind of disappointed you didn't kiss me last night, ” he pouted.

“Mmm, I was too busy fucking you, sorry sweetie, ” you said, kissing him again.

“You enjoyed your ‘punishment’ a little too much, but having to go downstairs should be punishment enough, ” you grinned.

He groaned, “please don't make me. Let me stay in my room forever y/n, ”

“No, can do Tomu, you need breakfast, ” you said.

You walked downstairs, sitting at the bar and eating your breakfast. No one else was up yet, or so you thought until you heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“You're not dead?” Dabi asked, completely dumbfounded.

“No dumbfuck, I'm not dead. Why the hell would I be dead?” he snapped.

“I dunno maybe cause you were screaming from y/n’s room all nigh- oh no. Oh god I think I'm gonna be sick, ” he fake gagged.

All you did was laugh at him.

“You two are disgusting, y’know that?” he said.

“We know, ” you smiled eating the rest of your breakfast.

#tomura fluff #tomura smut #tenko smut #tomura x reader #mha tomura #tomura imagine #shigaraki tenko #tomura shiragaki #tomurashigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki fluff #shigaraki smut #mha shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #mha shiggy #shiggy #shigaraki is a perv #sorry it's true #peg shigaraki 2021 #Pegshigaraki2021

[oops-aquarius]

tainted kisses

summary: steve needs some relaxation, which you provide to him

warnings: smut (!!!!), praise kink, slight degradation kink, a little bit of angst cuz a hoe is sad, oral fixation (duh), slight dom/sub dynamics (?), mentions of sadness/depression, tiny mommy kink (like barely there)

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 2.2k

note(s): not edited well at all, also i used a prompt generator to get the promt i used (which is below !!)

prompt: “baths or water (tubs or jacuzzis; hot springs; water houses or steam rooms; the ocean; swimming pools.”

kink: “Oral fixation or fetishization (lips, tongue, or whole mouth; french-kissing; licking; oral displays using food or beer bottles; smoking cigarettes, cigars, or pipes; biting or chewing one's lip(s))”

--

***this is post-endgame except nobody died, cause im a hoe for all of the avengers***

Steve never realized how much he liked things in his mouth. Not always in a sexual way, at least not until after fighting Thanos.

After fighting for so long, bottling up his emotions was not at all how Steve needed to cope. He tried the yoga and meditation route Wanda had so kindly suggested. Yeah, after one session of hot yoga, Steve decided that it wasn't going to happen. Tony, obviously, suggested sex. Said something about it being a “healing experience for the soul”. That’s bullshit were Steve’s first thoughts when that came out of his mouth. Bucky told him to get some goats and raved about how therapeutic it was to raise them. But Steve could barely take care of himself, how would he even take care of a goat? Steve felt a hot sense of hopelessness burn against the back of his eyes as he sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the adjoined bathroom door.

“Steve?” A soft knock came from the front door. He took his thumb away from his mouth, he had resorted to subconsciously nibbling on the tip of it. Pulling himself off the door and towards the voice, he rubbed his tear-stricken cheeks in attempts to clean himself up a bit before seeing you.

“One sec, Y/N/N.”

When he opened the door, your face softened a bit before the smile that Steve, secretly, loved so much dropped off your face completely. “Stevie, what happened?”

Stevie, a nickname he hated for his entire life. A name that reminded him of the days before the super solider serum where he was a little guy getting beaten up on the streets of Brooklyn. Stevie, a nickname he loved hearing from your caring voice. Nobody else’s. 

“Just tired, Y/N” he sighed, “so,so tired.”

“Stevie,” your voice caught at the back of your throat. Seeing him in so much pain made your life turn upside down. He doesn't deserve to be in pain. “ S’there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“Just stay with me? Please?”

You took him back into his bed and sat with him, just talking about life until his breathing turned back to normal and he seemed partially-okay. 

“Do you want to take a bath?” you asked, still stroking the blonde strands of his hair.

“Are you saying I smell?” He took his face out of the crook of your shoulder, feigning a look of hurt.

“No, punk, I meant to relax. You seemed pretty shaken up and I just wanted to help. I mean, that’s what I do when I feel down, relax in a bat-”

He cuts you off, “I appreciate it. Really, Y/N, I don’t know many people that are as loving and caring as you, sweetheart.” The nickname made a pang in your heart. You had like the super solider since you had met him, but never felt like he reciprocated the feelings. Even though you both cuddled often, and had movie nights, and he always let you beat him while sparring, and that one time you came down with a stomach bug and he fed you soup and-holy shit. Did Steve like you? “Sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“I said, ‘A bath does sound nice’. What’s got you so suddenly zoned out?” He says, donning a smirk.

“It’s nothing. Let’s get you into that bath, mister,” you had a faux grumpy look on your face as you got up and walked to the bathroom, starting to fill the white, ceramic bathtub with warm water. “Okay, big boy. You need help getting up or are you okay?”

Rolling his eyes at your inauthentic tone, Steve pushes his tensed frame off the body and managed to stumble into the bathroom, while you following him closely to make sure he doesn't fall over from exhaustion.

“I get it, I’m old, but damn Y/N. I can walk perfectly fine,” He chuckles as he pushes himself up to sit on the counter top.

You start to fill up the bathtub with warm water, adding bubbles and lighting a few scented candles. He looked so pretty, hair sticking out in every direction, lips pink and puffy from biting them, his ocean blue eyes still misty as he looks down at his cuticles, picking them slightly. 

“Okay, I’m gonna leave so you can take this bath,” you say, shutting off the faucet, “Got it?”

“Y/N?”

“Yes, Stevie.”

“Stay, please.” His eyes were watering more than earlier. He had those puppy dog eyes, lip quivering as his voice cracked and wavered even with just a few words. He looked so vulnerable, how could you say no to him?

“Of course, Steve. I mean, the bubbles with kind of cover everything. I’ll just sit next to the tub with you, alright?” You awkwardly giggled and scratched the back of your neck. He nodded, hopping off of the counter and starting to undress himself with a wobble. “Stevie, you’re shaking like a leaf, let me help you.”

His eyes never met yours as you helped him pull his t-shirt over his head and looped your delicate fingers through the waistband of his sweatpants, dragging them down his muscular thighs. “You’re not gonna finish your job, doll?”

His boxers. The only clothes he had left on were his grey boxers. You wanted to give him privacy and not look, especially in such a broken and vulnerable state. But god, you could see the outline of his partially-hard cock through the soft cotton. You thought about what it would be like to have your mouth around his hard length, chocking on it as he rammed himself into the back of your throat.

“Ummm, I just--I thought--I mean I can---Only if you want--” The dirty thoughts clouded your brain. It made speaking a speaking a sentence almost impossible as your mouth watered just thinking about his cock.

“It was a joke, sweetheart,” he laughed heartily, “You’re too adorable.”

Pulling his boxers down his legs, he waddled tiredly over to the tub before stepping in. He groaned in pleasure at the feeling of the warm water encapsulating his exhausted body. You imagined that’s how he’d groan if you sucked his cock so hard he was seeing stars.

You were still facing the door, like you were as Steve got completely undressed. You knew if you turned around and look at him, naked and at ease, you’d jump his bones in a heartbeat. “Come sit with me, Y/N”

And you did. You turned around cautiously, like you expected, the bubbles covered his body enough for you to be able to handle yourself as you sat down next to the tub. You grabbed his hand away from his lips, running your soft fingers over his rough calloused ones. “I always see you biting your nails or cuticle or lips or your pens. Why?”

He sighed, “I’m not sure, I guess it just distracts me?” He said it more like it was a question rather than a statement. “I guess I don’t truly know why I do it, I guess I just enjoy having things in my mouth.”

You could read Steve like a book, his pupils blown with lust, his lip stuck between his teeth, a blush heating up his cheeks. You took a leap of faith.

“Yeah, like what?”

“You.”

His lips were on yours in a flurry, it took a second for you to react, but as soon as you did it felt amazing. Neither of you seemed to care about the water splashing over you as his hands trailed up your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

He pulls away panting, “F-Fuck, Y/N, I need you. Please. Oh my god I need you so bad,” His eyes looked as if they were welling up with tears and he looked so pretty still in the relaxing bubble bath, whimpering and whining for you. 

“God, I need you too, baby,” you stop to look in his eyes sincerely, “Are you sure you want this? I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want to do or that you will regret.” Your hand caresses his cheek.

“Just get in here with me and I’ll show you how much I want you,” he whispered, “Need you, really.”

You sighed before your hands moved shakily to take off your t shirt. As much as you wanted this, you were still scared of how the ripped super solider would feel about you and your body, As soon as your shirt was off, Steve was whimpering, dipping his hand into the soapy water to massage his aching cock. This only spurred you to take off your clothes and join him faster. 

“Did I say you could touch yourself, puppy?” Your stern voice caught him off-guard, making him pause his actions with a look of fear on his face. You step into the bathtub, straddling him. Your nails raked up his milky white thighs, trailing up his body admiring the beauty of it. “Y’Know I was planning on being nice to you because you’ve been so good to me, but you might need to be punished, baby? Do you need to punshied like a brat?”

He mewled, bowing his head in shame. You could feel him growing harder and harder by the second and you were starting to go crazy with the empty feeling inside of you that on he could fill. “No, ma’am. I’ll be good, I swear!”

“Mmmm, that’s my good boy.” Your hands slid up his chest and rested on his cheeks, hearing him preen at your praise, as you repositioned yourself over his cock. “Are you sure you want this?”

“If you dont ride me into next week right fucking now I’m going to scream, Y/N,” He breathed out with a chuckle, Grabbing your thighs, he helps you sink down on his cock. Both of you were moaning and whimpering messes by the time you were sitting at this base of him, trying to get adjusted to his large size. 

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes as soon as you lifted yourself up off of him, only leaving the tip of him inside of you, and slamming back down on his dick. 

“Baby-please,” he whimpered, “n-need, shit, need your fingers, bad.” 

You were confused, slowing down a bit to make sure he was okay. But his puppy dog eyes showed that he was okay. Slowly taking your wrist from his cheek, he puts your fingers in his warm mouth. Moaning around them and swirling his tongue around them. He did it the same way you always dreamed about sucking his dick, chocking and gagging on his length.

“Yeah, you’re such a needy little slut for me, for this pussy. Look at you, so ruined and fucked out just because I’m fucking you.” He moaned sensually at your words making your core tighten impossibly. 

You had gotten a good idea as you were riding him. Slowly, you start to thrust your hand in and out of his mouth, watching the saliva dribble out of the corners of his mouth as he choked on you. The band in your tummy starts tightening as you feel yourself getting close. 

“Shit, fuck, baby, I’m gonna come. Oh my god, you’re make me come with your beautiful cock, puppy. So good for me, aren’t you?” Your free hand dips into the water, cupping his balls and rolling them around your soft palm.

He nods, choking on your nimble finger yet again his you massage his sensitive balls. “Gonna come,” he slurred and spit around you.\, “almost there.”

“I didn’t” you moaned as you feel his balls tighten, fall back down on his cock at a faster pace, “give you permission to do that. I thought you were going to be good for me?”

“I am” he spluttered loudly, “i am good, I swear. Just please let me come. I need it, oh shit, mommy.”

The name went straight to your core, making you grow weak as you feebly give him permission to come as you come undone with one more bounce on his large member. His hands come up to grope your breasts as he come with hot spurts inside of your tight cunt. 

“Oh my god,” you stifle a giggle as you stand up on shaky legs. You wordlessly helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a white towel, walking him to bed while you dried yourself off. Collapsing on the bed with a grunt, the solider hollds out his hand to you, signalling you to lay down with him. You could easily tell he was still coming down from his sex high, starting to regain his self back.

“I dont know what possessed me to,” he pauses, trying to figure out a way to word the rest of his sentence, “to suck, I guess, on your hand. I’m sorry, Y/N, that was really weird of me.”

“What do’ya mean, baby? Having an oral fixation isn’t something to be ashamed of.” The words make him smile with droopy eyes, tucking his head into your neck and starting to fall asleep, happy and comfortable, cuddling you.

“And to be honest, puppy. I think it’s really hot.”

#steve rogers #steve rogers smut #mcu #avengers smut #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers angst #steve rogers x oc #steve rogers fic #steve rogers drabble #steve rogers headcannon #smut #angst #fluff #the falcon and the winter solider spoilers #wtf even is this crackfic #i hate it but oh well

[dr3amofagame]

Dream tried to stop Wil from creating L'Manburg, Phil tried to stop him from blowing it up, BOTH value people over items and builds, Phil has said that they're replaceable but people aren't, Dream traded spirit for his best friends fishes (we kno he's not someone to talk abt feelings:[) BOTH were kind and selfless but used by almost if not everyone, BOTH were ready to be THE VILLAINS if it meant everyone else could live better after. ONE of them always had someone there, ONE didn't. Intentional?

aaaa sorry for the really inconsistent posts ,, im gonna try to post a little more in the next few days. i have a few things written up, so look out for them? maybe? for now, have this *gestures vaguely* thing ,, it’s kinda a mess but *shrug*

phil is such a fun character, anon, especially for all the reasons that you mentioned in the ask!! he’s a really fun character with a lot of complexities that go (sadly) overlooked by a large portion of the fandom, but he’s super cool even tho i havent analyzed him too much. hope you enjoy (and i hope my interpretation of c!phil isnt too ooc lmao) 

tw: mentioned blood, injury, implied torture/abuse, starvation, trauma, mentioned death, prison arc/pandora’s vault

When Techno first brings Dream back from the prison, Phil doesn’t quite know what to think.

“I don’t trust him either,” Techno assures him, but there’s a flickering anger in the backs of his eyes, one that had emerged ever since he came back from the prison with the other man in his arms, and Phil knows his friend well enough to know that the words are empty in the face of the piglin hybrid’s particular brand of to-the-death loyalty. He shakes his head in reply, refusing to voice his thoughts for Techno’s sake, at least, but the look that the other slants at him suggests that he’s caught onto them all the same.

At first, the work is thankfully mindless; even if Phil has reservations on the man that Techno has more or less dumped into his house, he would hardly wish the clear suffering he’s been through on anyone. The first few days pass in a flurry of brewing potions, wrapping and rewrapping dressings, stitching up cuts and setting broken bones straight. The damage is extensive; Phil has to take more than a few breaks to just leave the house and breathe - he’s far from a stranger to blood and carnage, had received the title of ‘Angel of Death’ for a reason, but even he had never been particularly familiar with this form of cruelty. Torture was a level of violence that extended beyond what even he was willing to bestow - his hands may have caused many deaths, and the weight of each one would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life, but even those had the mercy of being a quick end. The wounds and scars that ripple over Dream’s skin, thin and stretched tightly over his bones with little muscle and fat left to cushion them, speak of horrors that were anything but merciful.

“I didn’t know they were capable of all of this,” Techno says, once, as they huddle of Dream, wringing towels in cold water to wipe his feverish skin. Techno’s hand reaches for the ribboning gold-filled scars that remain from the execution - carefully, Phil raises his hand to let his fingertips brush over them as well. “I mean, I knew he was dangerous and all, but-”

“I know, mate,” Phil looks back at Dream’s face, tight even in unconsciousness, at the darkened, hand-shaped bruises that remain around his throat, at the scar that runs over his left eye, clearly meant to mirror the same one that makes its way down the duck hybrid’s own face. “You said that Quackity and Sam were working together?”

“Yeah,” Techno’s expression darkens, eyes focused somewhere on the wall, seemingly very far away. He said that nothing happened to him in the prison, and he seemed relatively unharmed when Phil activated the stasis chamber, but ever since he came back, sometimes he’ll have moments, and Phil can’t help but - wonder. “Quackity does the dirty work, Sam gives him the way in and out, probably also the tools to do it. It’s-” he huffs a short, self-recriminating laugh. “It’s bad, Phil.”

“Mate-”

Techno shoots him a look, and Phil cringes, knowing already that he’d used the wrong tone. Even with the execution, Techno had been adamant to hide all traces of his own terror and fear away from him, masking it all with fury for Phil’s own sake. He knows, just from the way his old friend looks at the ribboning scars that remain sometimes, that he is far from as over the whole ordeal as he acts, but Techno never wants to talk and Phil never knows the right time to ask and they smooth it all behind plans and explosions and hope that the TNT can blow apart the trauma, too. He’s got a sneaking suspicion that the same thing is going to happen, here.

“As soon as we can,” Techno starts again, pointedly shifting his eyes away from Phil’s face, “we’re calling a Syndicate meeting to figure out what we’re going to do about the prison. Like- come on, man, you couldn’t make a more transparent abuse of institutional power if you tried, really-” he looks over, uncharacteristic uncertainty warring over his features. “If you think that’s good, I mean-“

“Of course, mate.” Phil’s voice softens. “Whenever you’re ready.”

‘Whenever he’s ready,’ as it turns out, is easier said than done, becoming even more evident when their charge wakes up from his days long spell of unconsciousness. The worst of his injuries have, under their careful care and the benefit of many potions, healed enough to no longer directly threaten his life, but the vast majority have quite some time to go before being healed completely. Being as the goal was torture and not death, most of his injuries weren’t made to be life-threatening, but rather to cause as much pain as possible - from the grimace that twists Dream’s face when he struggles to force himself awake, they’re doing their jobs.

“Hey, mate, slow down,” Phil murmurs, pressing the man down by his shoulder when Dream weakly tries to push himself up and off the bed, and his struggling only lasts for a few more minutes before he gives up and slumps against his pillow, eyes cracking open and seeming surprisingly lucid.

“Where-“ his voice is wrecked, and Phil reaches for the glass of water at the bedside as Dream coughs. “Where am I?”

“You’re at Techno’s house,” Dream’s eyes widen and then slip closed as he processes the information, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as they knit together. “We broke you out, after Techno escaped with a stasis chamber with your book. Do you remember?”

Dream gnaws on his bottom lip. “Um- yeah. I think.” His head turns as his eyes crack open again- “Techno-“

“He’s out, right now. He’ll be back in a bit.”

“Oh.” Dream falls back into the bed, strength seemingly sapped from the short conversation. His breathing stutters, then steadies. “Okay.”

Recovery is slow. Phil doesn’t actually find himself seeing the man very often; now that he doesn’t need around-the-clock care anymore, he’s moved back into his own house, letting Techno do most of the work when it comes to rehabilitating the escaped convict crashing at his house. As he begins to spend more of his time awake and aware, he brings a whole slew of new problems; Phil catches him screaming one day, blurting harsh, angry words as Techno reads, unbothered from the other side of the room, and he stops in his tracks standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Um-“ he winces when Dream curses, smashes something against the floor, and then curls into himself at the sound. Techno doesn’t even flinch. “Am I interrupting something?”

Dream stomps away, face flushed, arms wrapped around himself. Techno raises an eyebrow.

“You lookin’ for something, Phil?” he asks, and the unpleasant knot in Phil’s chest refuses to unwind.

The episodes, unfortunately, don’t seem to get much better. Though he’s rarely outright violent, Dream looks constantly murderous, usually muttering underneath his breath about something or another while he stalks the grounds of Techno’s house. It’s not too long before Techno sends him out to work around the house instead of just moping within the cottage, which also means that Phil sees him a lot more - tending to a small farm behind the house, feeding the dogs, hacking away at mobs, and usually complaining the entire time. It’s unnerving, even as injured and unarmored as the man is, to see him walking around like this; despite his rather pathetic appearance, swamped in sweaters that dwarf him thoroughly and thin enough to look like the slightest breeze will knock him over, his eyes are flinty and intelligent and bubble with promises of revenge.

“FUCK!” Phil turns to see him slamming a shovel into the snow, stomping away into the woods, and his hands tighten around his cup of tea. Next to him, Techno shrugs.

“Nerd’s got a few issues,” he drawls, and Phil laughs shortly.

“That seems like an understatement.”

“He’ll ease up in time,” Techno sounds surprisingly confident, completely content despite the muffled curses that come from the woods next to them. He’s probably used to it, with Chat and all, but Phil can’t quite seem to find the same calm.

“I just don’t know, mate,” Phil shakes his head. “You sure having him around is the best idea? He doesn’t seem...stable.”

Techno looks up at him over the rim of his cup of coffee. His head tilts, considering, but there’s a small smile on his face that tells Phil that Techno, inexplicably, doesn’t share the same sentiments. There was always a part of him that was, for the lack of a better word, softer than the rest of the server for his self-proclaimed rival, a sort of understanding that Phil could hardly hope (nor would really want to) understand.

“Don’t worry, Phil, if he tries anything I can always just tie him up in the attic or something,” Phil huffs a small laugh, amused, and nods to concede the point. “And- well, call it intuition. You could really try talkin’ to him, you know. He reminds me of you, sometimes.”

The words stick in his head despite his best efforts, rattling in his skull when he tries to sleep, lingering when he catches glimpses of the green-clothed man stalking around their properties. He can’t imagine what would’ve prompted his old friend to make the comparison, can’t think of a single thing (besides their affinity for the color green) that would mark him as similar to the - from what he’s heard - deranged menace with a particular penchant for destruction (not that his rants and fits of anger are doing anything to correct that impression). Even so, Techno had sounded so sure when he’d made the comparison, the words offhand like he’d thought them a million times before, like it was a simple observation that held no more weight than commenting on the color of the sky. Phil watches as Dream lugs a pile of logs behind him, huffing at one of Techno’s dogs that comes to chase and nip at his feet and grumbling loudly before faceplanting into the snow. He just...can’t see it.

Days later, Wilbur comes to visit, a grin on his lips as he dramatically recounts his newest exploit: a nation by Las Nevadas, a supposed safe haven away from the glitter and glory of Quackity’s city; it sounds brilliant, it sounds lovely, and more than anything it sounds stupid, and Phil tells him as such immediately.

“You’re being reckless,” he rants at his son, wings flaring outwards and only barely noticing Dream watching from the corner of his eye, “What are you doing- picking fights with Quackity? Starting another nation- didn’t you see what happened to the first two you made? You’re going to get yourself killed, Wil!”

“Well, I’ve already seen what’s on the other side of death, and it’s really not that bad-“

“You’re my son!” The words are angrier than Phil would’ve liked, and he knows that he looks ridiculous and overbearing, criticizing the actions of his fully grown son, but all he can see is Wilbur’s face, slack with pain and grief, stained with ash and soot as his eyes flutter to half-mast in the midst of the rubble of a country he loved and destroyed and destroyed him in turn. “I can’t lose you again, Wil!”

Wilbur doesn’t quite storm out, but it’s a near thing, leaving with a clipped goodbye and leaving Phil seething on his doorstep. He spends the rest of the night pacing around the house in a sort of mad frenzy, wings stretching and folding over and over. Not for the first time, he longs for the sky, to feel the air through his wings and let the world fall into pinpricks below him; it’s this that leads him to the roof of his house, staring stubbornly at the clouds as the sun sinks down to the horizon.

“Hey.”

Phil startles; there, down below him, is Dream. He rocks back on his heels, seeming awkward, before clambering up the wall (Phil rolls his eyes at the ease with which he scales it, the feeling in his chest almost fond) and settling himself on the shingles at Phil’s side.

“Hey, mate,” Phil shakes his head. The fondness leaves, and the irritation that had risen at Wilbur’s words, earlier, comes back full-force. “Sorry- Wil came to visit, we talked. I just needed some time to think.”

Dream hums in acknowledgement, and they fall into a comfortable silence, watching as the sun dipping down past the mountains in the distance.

“You know,” Dream starts, sudden, “I told him the same thing.” He looks up at Phil, eyes faraway with old memories. “Wilbur, I mean. When he made L’manburg- I told him he was being reckless.” He shrugs. “I guess he never listened.”

Phil pauses, Techno’s words ringing in his ears. He reminds me of you, sometimes.

Dream looks surprisingly normal up close - face no longer reddened with fever or pale from blood loss, even the scars fail to really take from the boyishness of his face. He bites his lips, eyes falling away at Phil’s scrutiny, golden blond hair flopping over his forehead, newly trimmed to be something a little closer to his old length, at least in the front, the back pulled into a small ponytail. He’s young, and shockingly awkward, teeth worrying his lip, hands fiddling with each other, shifting his weight from one foot to the other several times a minute. He looks like a kid.

“He never does,” Phil lets himself smile, watches as Dream smiles back, almost like they’re sharing a joke. He wonders how well he really knows the man behind the mask. “Want to come in for some tea?”

Dream smiles wider, and something old and worn in Phils chest, knocked loose ever since he felt his son fall limp in his arms with his own sword shoved between his ribs, falls back into place.

“That would be great,” Dream replies, the words almost hopeful, and they go inside.

#tw trauma #tw death #tw blood #tw injury #tw torture #tw abuse #tw starvation #prison arc #pandora's vault #-> my writing #my writing :D #my asks !! #-> my asks

[midday0nightmares]

31 - a week later.

Previous chapter a rat.

m.list.

warnings: this series contains themes of yandere\mafia, blood, violence, mental health, drugs, non-con.

author note: this is pure fiction and it is not intended to romanticize any of the situations mentioned bellow.

3 days after.

“Jeno .. can I ask you something?” 

“Sure” he replied,

 jeno too has changed, he has become more caring towards you like he was stepping to fill jaemins place, while jaemin was occupied.

Jeno was more controlled, he didn’t show much, if you didn’t know what had happen you would have believed everything was fine.

“What’s gonna happen to me if..? You know” ,

you leave the questions unfinished, but jeno understands what you wanted to ask.

His mouth opens to speak but closes shut again, he takes a minute to think before he answers “I don’t know”.

His honesty although appreciated didn’t help at all.

 “but, I will do my best to make sure you’er taking care of” he reach to hold your hand over the table, gently squeezing it to reassure you.

.

.

.

5 days after.

You saw less and less of jaemin.

The stress of it all was getting to you too, you were agitated.. you blamed it all on jeno.

“Why don’t you just confess?”, 

your question was loaded with hostility.

He looked at you, a desperate look on his face, he told you over and over but still he tells you again,

”it’s complicated sera”.

You scoff, his answer seemed more like an excuse than a genuine answer. “what’s complicated? You did it, you are the one who should be facing life in prison not him” you pointed at jaemin’s closed door.

He exhales, his eyes close “you don’t know what you’er talking about”.

“You killed him!” You contain to argue but he gets up and leave, ending the conversation.

Tears of anger pooled in your eyes, this is another level of injustice. 

.

.

.

6 days after.

You were quietly munching on your cereal, jeno sat across form you sipping on his bitter coffee.

The mood was tense, unstable.

The neglected tv flashed a breaking news strip that caught your attention, it was about the murder in a diplomatic’s son house, “turn the volume up” you ushered jeno.

“.. it has been determined that the leased apartment falls under diplomatic amenity and no further investigations could be carried” 

You looked at jeno, “dose it mean that they’er closing the case?” You asked, carful not to get your hopes up, he remind quiet for a minute before he nods “ yup, I guess they are”.

You jumped out of your seat, squealing with happiness “yes! Yess thank god” you grabbed his arm to share the joy but he didn’t move.

He wasn’t happy, nor relieved.. he didn’t seems to feel any thing.

You top your small celebration, “what?” You asked.

“Nothing” he stood up ready to leave, “clean up when you’er done”.

he leaves you to your wild thoughts to run the worst case scenarios. 

.

.

.

Today

The week slowly rolled over with much tension and uncertainty, jaemin has been called to the police station couple more times, you swear each time he comes back, he has aged years.

You wanted to be by his side but he didn’t even look at you when you tried to call him this morning, if he’s not out then he’s locking himself in his room. you tried knocking on his door, to get him to at least eat a proper meal but he didn’t answer. Each attempt has been met with either complete silence or a sharp temper, he would lash at you then quickly apologize.

This is not how you wanted your first semester to begin, you attended the first week of your online classes but you couldn’t really focus on what has been said, not with a disaster hanging above your head ready to drop at any minute.

And as much as you wanted to blame it all on jeno, you couldn’t anymore. The case is closed, but why is jaemin still being investigated? Could it be because of you? Did the police knew you were taken? Was it your fault?.. you tossed and turned in your bed, it felt cold and empty without him, you missed him so much. After a long string of pillow thoughts, slumber finally took mercy over you.

“y\n..” 

An unfamiliar voice calls your name.

“y\n” 

the whisper gets louder, your body tip over and fall off of an edge to an endless darkness.. you jerk out of the nightmare, drenched in sweat and gasping for air.

You clam yourself and push the heavy covers off of you, dragging your feet to the kitchen for some water, you don’t bother turning the lights on, you open the fridge door and take a bottle. The icy water clears the clouds in your mind only for the grim reality to take its place, jaemin might be taken away.. you dwell on the scary thought. 

You turn your head to see the lights of jaemins room were on, your heart clinches, he’s still awake at this ungodly hour.

Opting not bother him, you head back to your lonely bed, but the dark figure in the balcony almost gave you a heart attack.

You recognize the man, it’s jaemin.. his tall figure was standing in the dark, the phone was pressed to his ear, his demeanor was agitated, shifting his weight form one foot to the other, you couldn’t hear anything but you can tell he wasn’t happy.

You turn to see if jeno was in his room, his lights were off and his shoes were by the door. you always had the impression that they were close, partners in crime. they did all their nasty work together, but why is it only jaemin who is in this mess right now?.

“You can’t be serious !” 

Jaemin’s loud voice comes clear through the thick glass, his hand running through his hair seemingly wanting to rip it from the roots out of frustration. You can tell he was angry, desperate.. he keeps shouting but you can’t make out what he was saying. you step closer, as close as you can without being seen by him, you try to decipher his muffled voice,

 “I am your son! Your only son” 

you’er not sure if that’s what he said.. 

He speaks in a lower voice before he removes the phone from his ear, ending the call. He punches the wall next to him, he was beyond pissed.

You move to hide behind the curtain to avid angering him more, he opens the door and steps inside slamming the glass door behind him.

“I can see you” he deadpan says in the dark, since there’s no one other than you, he must be talking to you and you make the quick decision of coming out before he losses his temper. 

“Im sorry, I had a nightmare and I got up to drink wa..” You try to explain yourself but he waves his hand with not much care “Yeah yeah” and you stop talking.. he walks to his room, the dull city lights illuminating his backside, his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched with heavy burden, the sight of him broken made your heart twist inside your ribcage.

“Jaemin” you call him without a plane, he stops and looks at you, “Are you okay?”, stupid question.. 

Although it’s dark, you can feel his eyes burning holes into your face.

“Do I look okay?” He retorts,

You answered him with a small “no”

he turns to walk to his room but you speak again, “I can help you if you tell me what wrong”, bold statement.

He stops again and heavy sighs, your heart thumbs in your chest as you wait for him to speak, but all you get was a scoff, “why don’t you just know your place huh?” he asks with much condecindence, although you know he didn’t mean it, his words still hurts. 

“Just stay out of my way, you have done enough already” he adds more sharp words, twisting the planted knife in your heart.

“I just wanted to help you and be here for you” your voice breaks and you hate yourself for it, but you chock and the tears starts to gather in your eyes, he huffs and looks up to the ceiling, impatiently waiting for you to recompose yourself. But his cold nonchalant demeanor triggers more eruptions inside of you.

 the words escapes your mouth before you have thought of them.. “all I wanted was to help you, but you keep me away form you! you don’t tell me anything, no one is telling me anything! I don’t know what is happing or if I will see you when wake up the next day” you rant through the sobs, your voice getting louder and louder, and when he was fed up with you he shuts you down with a loud scream “shut up”.

 Jeno comes out of his room, bewildered and alert.. he stands in the background watching the fight evolves.

“You are not my girlfriend” he walks towards you, making you feel small and insignificant, “I don’t own you anything” his tall stature looms over your short one, that cuts deep. 

you look at him, you stare into his eyes, challenging him to take what he said back but he doesn’t.

“Yeah?” Your voice barely comes out, “fine then I guess I have no reason to stay here anymore”. you turn and stomp to where your bed is to collect your few belongings, he follows behind, his steps shaking the ground beneath you.

“where the fuck do you think you’er doing?” He asks but you ignore him, more so you couldn’t speak due to the choking knot in your throat, but your lack or response angers him even more, he grabs your arm and turns you around with much force, that it almost dislocates your shoulder, you whimper at the pain but he doesn’t care, his grip tightening even more, his eyes glazed with a dark, sinister layer.

“Jaemin!” Jeno warns, but it does nothing as another screaming match breaks between you, with him asking you the same question, not really waiting for an answer, and you shouting whatever comes to your mind first, curses, accusation, anything to hurt him. you don’t know who started it first but hands were being thrown, jeno was trying to break you apart, but  eventually, jaemin overpowered you and threw you over his shoulder like a rag doll, your kicking and screaming did nothing against him.

 “Jaemin” jeno shouted at his friend who was in a trance, muttering the filthiest insults under his breath.

“Where are you going? Jaemin!” jeno tries to reason with him. at this point jaemin was like a robot, marching to his room, he kicks the door to his bedroom open, he slams you to his bed, knocking the wind out of you. 

“Jaemin! Calm down” jeno was trying to stop whatever jaemin was doing, he kneels and opens his safe, jeno’s voice getting louder, you were paralyzed with fear everything is happing so fast for your brain to form a response.

Jeno was trying to pry jaemin’s hands out of the safe, “come on! don’t do something you’ll regret”, jeno was almost begging him to stop.

jaemin finally broke out of his trance and turned to jeno “get out!”,

but jeno stood in his place like a pillar, his presence seems to clam jaemin, he takes a deep breath and pushes his hair back “I know what im doing” he speaks calmly this time before he turns back to you, you swallow the thick knot “jaemin please..” pleadings to spare your life were timid but loud enough to be heard, your body crawls as far away from him before the wall stops you.

He kneels down and reaches again inside the safe, for a second the time has stoped, everything moved in slow motion. 

He takes out a metal handcuffs out of the safe, the blood that was frozen in your vines moved again, you let go of a breath you didn’t know you were holding.. jeno does the same “fuck..” he must have thought the same, he too believed jaemin was about to kill you.

Your limbs fell weak and cold due to the withdrawal of the adrenaline that filled your bloodstream, you feel sick, dizzy.

The bed dips under jaemin’s weight next to you, your head falls back into his soft pillows, aimless tears rolls down your temples, you give him your hands to cuff. you are worn out, you surrender.

He takes both of your arms and cuffs them to the headboard of his bed, your eyes meet, you don’t look away and neither does he. He looks down at you.. his eyes pours inside of your soul.

Dark circles beneath his eyes, dry lips, heavy eyelids but still, still handsome as ever. he leans down to kiss your watery eyes, “for my sanity sake” he whispers between the kisses.

He throws his covers over you, and turns the lights off before he leaves and close the door behind him. 

#nct dream #nct 127 #nct yandere #nct mafia #nct smut #nct fluff #nct jeno #nct jaemin #nct reactions #nct imagines #nct scenarios #lee jeno #na jaemin

[curiousfindings]

We are with you till the end of the line

Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan x Teen!Reader

[Warnings: Rape, Talk of sex, Swearing, OOC Chris for a bit, Arguing, Panic attacks, Hospitals]

!!This is pretty loaded so please don't read this if your not comfortable with the certain subjects, the last thing I want to do is make anyone uncomfortable, if you need anyone to reach out to just pop me a quick message, I would never mind having a chat or you just ranting to me, i’m always there for u!!

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You knew they wouldn't mind, they were like brothers after all, constantly looking out for you even in the most inconvenient of times. Yet the one time, they weren't there. Its not like you needed them, but you did and you always tried to convince yourself that you were a strong female figure but there was that part of you that turned completely towards the strong male figures you had in your life. Chris, Anthony and Sebastian.

Too elaborate, you first met the triplet when you were 15, you had auditioned for the role of the teenage heroine, Erin Kelsey, a young girl who proves her courage to The Avengers with her virtuosic karate skills. They loved you and you got the part much to your dismay. You were taken under the wing of Anthony Mackie straight away, he told you that he saw something in you. Scarlett was the first cast member you met though and she will always hold a special place in your heart as the girl who made you comfortable with the whole marvel cast.

Your character was introduced in Age of Ultron as a teenage Slovakian girl who had been spotted jumping from rooftop to rooftop, it was incredibly fun to film. Then in Civil War, your character developed massively which brought you closer to the men. Not only were they like big brothers to you but they gave you the best advice in life, anything you needed help with, they were there, 24/7. You had many talks and lectures about things you already knew about but they insisted they were older and knew what was best, they also said that they didnt want you doing stupid things like they used to do, whatever that is supposed to mean.

 They check up on you constantly, always asking you to message them when you get home, or back to your trailer, or the hair and makeup truck, the canteen, the toilet, anywhere they needed to know. It was their responsibility if anything happened to you, of course it wasn't actually but they made it so it was that way, knowing that you were young and needed that guidance. This was because when you started filming Civil War you were deemed old enough to do it all on your own, you were fending for yourself since you were turning 17 soon. 

You attended a college near by and went there twice a week, the rest of the time you did online school in-between takes and in breaks. Your time in college introduced you to a person, I know, cliche but they were really nice. Long story short, you two started dating, their name was Alex. Your grades dropped and you stopped seeing the three men due to the amount of time you were spending with Alex but spending time with Alex was like second nature but not to your will, they told you that you had to see them everyday and call them whenever you got the chance, this was controlling if you had ever seen it. 

You had plenty of time to tell them about Chris, Sebastian and Anthony and soon they had enough of you talking so highly about them and got jealous, this is when they started making advances on you, also against your will. They would start to touch you and when you would say no they would continue, you threatened to leave them but they made even bigger threats, to tell Chris, Seb and Mackie that you didn’t need them anymore, they went into detail about what they would tell them, it was graphic, things that you were doing whilst you were supposed to be hanging out with them, sexual acts...

They of course, didn't know about your partner and this was for a reason, you know they would be against the idea and you defiantly couldn't risk anything but they were adamant of working out why you were so absent.

“Can we all agree that Y/n has been distant lately?” Sebastian spoke after walking into the hair and makeup trailer to find Anthony and Chris being dolled up.

Anthony sighed, straight away knowing what he meant. 

“I know man, its like she doesn't love us anymore,” He fake pouted which made Chris laugh. “Seriously though, do you know where she’s been?” 

Both men stayed quiet. 

“Every time I ask her where she is going she just says ‘out’” Sebastian adds with a shrug. 

“And she never messages us updates anymore, it worries me frankly,” Chris frowns at the thought. 

“She told me she went to the park to do some homework without distractions and came back with a new hoodie and a massive smile on her face” Anthony furrows his brows. “Like, how does that make sense? Why would you be that happy after doing homework?” He flared his harms around and huffs.

“But around us her mood has changed, have you noticed she's been so distant and cold to us?” Sebastian added.

The silence is broken by the makeup lady sniggering which immediately turned all other heads in the room. 

“Whatchu laughing at lady?” Anthonys face was pure confusion, how could this matter be funny and as for Chris and Sebastian, their faces were a mix between caution and anger. 

“Sounds like Y/n might have a boyfriend or girlfriend,” She stated plainly, not even looking up from Sebastians roots. 

A short impetuous laugh came from Anthony’s throat in disbelief. 

“Isn't it obvious? She wants to hide it from you guys” All men froze at this statement with heads overflowing with thoughts that questioned the lady. Why would she feel she had to hide it from us? Why wouldn't she tell us? Why does she have to hide it from us? That last question threw the men into gear.

“We need to ask her,” Chris finally spoke up. “If this is true, we need to see whats happening,” Chris was worried, he had a bad feeling. He stood up and left the makeup chair abruptly. All you could hear were the sound of rushed movements onto of the stoned floor outside getting quieter and quieter. 

“I don’t meant to worry you guys,” The lady spoke up, now not touching Sebastian. 

“No, i’m glad you said something, it makes sense now really,” Anthony said apathetically, the feeling of worry bites at his toes, he wanted to run to you.

-

Chris got to you first, bursting the door of your trailer open in a panting mess in full Cap uniform.

“Woah okay, erm, can I call you back later I think somethings wrong,” You say down the phone as you stand up to approach Chris.

“I will call you back later, I promise,” You console your adamant person and bid your goodbyes. 

As soon as the call ends Chris is jumping down your throat, leaving you no room to question. 

“Who was that?” He stares at you intently, still trying to catch his breath.

“Just a friend, it was Katie,” You can change your answer, hoping this one would be more convincing. “Why whats wrong?” Chris’s features changed, he placed his hand on his hip and cocked his eyebrows as if to question your answer. 

“What?” You ask him, confusion fully lacing your voice. 

“Y/n, I really hope you aren't lying to me,” His voice now evident with slight anger and dominance. 

“Chris, what are you getting at,” You retaliate, who is he to question who you were on the phone too, you couldn't tell him anyway.

“Let me see your phone.” No question about it, he held his hand out and demanded. “Give me your phone Y/n” To say you were shocked was an understatement. Your face swelled with worry, worry that he might find out but you decided to mask it with anger.

“Chris, what the fuck?” You narrowed your eyebrows and Chris just raised his as if you were his child that was in trouble.

“I want to see who you last called,” His hand never once moved, you on the other hand were shaking, you had never seen Chris like this, never angry nor disappointed. Its not even like you could say it was a boy friend back home because you had already told Chris it was Katie.

“Its really none of your business who i’ve been calling,” Your mood had changed significantly since the phone call.

Chris’s eyes narrowed and his nostrils flared, he was angry. “Your lying.” He plainly stated.

“And your being irate, you obviously don’t trust me!” You flared your arms around in expression, trying to cover up anything and everything which made you angrier and angrier.

“Im only looking out for you, you know this but I cant do that if you dont tell me the truth, your only-”

“Yes, I know, im only 16 and dont know half of whats to come yet, I know im young Chris, you tell me all the time but just because im young doesn't mean I dont get my freedom and just because im young defiantly doesn't mean you get to boss me around because guess what Chris, your not my dad!” You knew it hurt him, due to an absent father you had told the men that they were like father figures to you and they took pride in that. He was taken aback by your sudden outburst and wondered how long you had been holding that in but he couldn't help what came out of his mouth next.

“Don’t ever come to me for anything again because I won't be there to help you,” This was so out of character for Chris it knocked the wind out of you, you felt like you could be sick. Tears welled in your eyes, you grabbed your keys and sprinted out of your trailer before he could see you break. 

“Y/n!” Called a familiar voice, it was Anthony. 

You stopped in your tracks and wiped your eyes before turning where you were confronted with two worried faces, not them as well. 

“Did Chris speak to you?” Your heart sunk, did they think the same thing, you wanted to save yourself the embarrassment.

“Im going out,” You said plainly, holding back more tears. 

“No you're not, we need to speak to you,” Anthony demanded again. You snapped before you could even think.

“You don’t control me! Not you! Not Sebastian and defiantly not Chris! I dont need you!” You let the tears fall, you felt like you were being dramatic but frankly you were sick of their controlling behaviour and Chris made it perfectly clear how he felt. Sadly you didnt actually feel this way, it was just what Alex had planted in your head and you couldn't risk him getting exposed otherwise you would be fucked.

“Y/n what happened?” Sebastian inched closer as you broke down.

“Y/n!” Chris called from the distance and before you could muster any sort of courage to be confronted by all three me, you ran.

“Im going out!” That dull phrase that fell from your lips every day with so much mystery behind it.

-

“Will you stop talking about them fucking men,” Alex seethes after just 5 minutes of you ranting, you're in an angry mood already so you snap at them.

“Alex i’m really fucking struggling right not and I would love some comfort from my significant other!” And before you know it your pinned underneath them.

“I think you forgot who you're talking to,” Alex hovered over you with your arms pinned above your head, you thrashed but they were stronger.

“Remember our little agreement sweetheart,” The pet name made your eyes clench shut and your body tense up, the dreaded nickname that was supposed to make you feel loved but made you feel on edge more than anything.

Then Alex done the unspeakable, something you thought was an empty threat, you never thought they would go there.

“You dare protest and see what happens,” Alex spat in your face as they violated all of your comfort zones and boundaries. They left you speechless, ashamed, and defiled. 

You got in your car and drove, you didn’t know where, you couldn’t think straight. It was defiantly dangerous for you to drive but there was no way you were staying with them. The wheels took you back to set and your heart ached for your three men, you knew they wouldn't mind yet you couldn't bring yourself to tell them nor did you think they would care to know, they made it that clear. You ran to your trailer and jumped in the shower straight away, washing any evidence and remaining touches off your body, you looked down and discovered the marks of the abuser littered all over your shoulders, thumb marks shared along your pelvis and in between your thighs. You scrubbed and scrubbed but they wouldn't go away, only leaving a singing red hue on the surface, the rest were deeper, they penetrated your soul, no amount of scrubbing could remove those. Little did you know, Chris saw you running back to your trailer late last night but he left you alone, thinking you needed some time.

The next morning you felt the reminace of the abuse, you were supposed to be well rested since your day off yesterday yet you felt worse the you ever had but you wore a brave face and worried about the interactions between you and Chris, Seb and Anthony. Weak is how you felt, not knowing how the day would treat you.

You stepped out of your trailer with a grimace and a sharp ache in-between your legs. Normally Chris, Anthony and sometimes Sebastian would usher you from your trailer to set, you felt truly and utterly alone.

“Morning Y/n,” You took a sharp turn to see Scarlett heading straight in your direction. “No Chris this morning?” She asked with a frown. 

You didn’t know how to speak, you didn't know if you could, your mind still swarming with, well, everything.

She hugged you quite roughly and you yelped out in pain with the sudden movement and pressure, she backed away immediately. 

“Hey.. whats wrong kiddo?” She asked, worry evident on her face.

Quick Y/n, come up with something.

“Just my period, its quite painful today,” You covered that up quick and it was believable, you were surprised how you hadn't burst into tears yet, you didn't know how you were going to survive the whole day.

“I have some pain killers?” She offered with a sympathetic smile.

All you did was nod.

You walked to set with a slight limp and that didn't go unnoticed by the directors.

“You good Y/n?” Joe asked.

Scarlett just whispered in his ear and you already knew what she had said.

“We will go easy on you today.” He joked with a wink, normally you would find his teasing funny but all you felt was this pit of dread.

-

You trekked to wardrobe to get into your costume of the day; still with no sight of Anthony, Chris or Sebastian, you knew they were filming today because it was a fight scene... a fight scene which you had to do with Anthony... Luckily your costume covered all of your bruises, the only thing now was getting them past the wardrobe lady.

“Get naked my lovely,” The wardrobe lady joked. Yet again, no expression from you. “Are you okay?” She edged closer. 

“Yes, i’m fine thank you,” You sent her a small smile.

“Come on then, we need to get you dressed” You just stripped your top, not even caring if she saw, you would only explain if she asked. All there was, was a gasp from her side. “Lovely...” 

“I was with my partner yesterday, thats all,” You added as she helped you adjust your new layer of skin. “Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t need them teasing me about it,” You said with a small chuckle, it was getting easier.

-

You had greeted Anthony, Seb and Chris when you saw them, they said sorry and you said sorry back, the last thing you wanted to do was argue today. They had to go and get their hair and makeup done since they were a little late onto set.

-

Sebastian and Anthony were in the wardrobe truck while Chris got his hair done.

“She still seems different, I cant place my finger on it,” Anthony queried.

“Well I believe what Jo said in the makeup truck, I feel like she has a secret boyfriend,” Seb spoke back.

“Im just worried Seabass... she’s never been like this,” Before Sebastian could answer, the costume lady did.

“Are we talking about Y/n boys?” She questioned. 

“Yes, do you know something?” Anthony was begging for any information he could get his hands on.

“She told me not to say anything but when she took her shirt off she had marks all over her shoulders, told me she was with a partner,” Anthony sighed and there his head back.

“See, this is what I didn't want happening, its fine that she’s having sex but I just hope its safe,” Anthony was just disappointed that you wouldn't tell him something like this, he thought you trusted him.

“I don't mean to worry you...” That same phrase. “But those marks weren't love bites, they were proper bruises,” 

Sebastian and Anthony share a look of worry.

“I mean, I've had my far share of sexual partners and the only way those bruises could be that dark was if her partner was being rough, they had to be pretty recent as well.” She said nonchalantly.

There were two thoughts swimming through Anthony and Sebastian heads. Someone was being abusive or you liked rough sex and to be honest, they would have preferred the latter.

-

The actually acting part was going well - I mean, you got paid to do it- but when the the stunts started, thats the you felt the full effects. Your character was a master at karate so the moves were pretty intense, you hadn't warmed up either with the worry that it was going to hurt to much. You were right, it hurt tenfold when you started fighting with Anthony, you could deal with the pain but when you got thrown over Anthonys shoulder, it was endgame. A shrill sounded from the back of your throat and Anthony dropped you immediately. You doubled over with the pain and grasped your lower stomach, you felt like you would be sick.

“Y/n what's wrong?” Anthony Russo questioned. 

Scarlett came running over and knelt beside you. 

“Oh sweetheart,” At the sound of the nickname you burst into tears. Everything was getting too overwhelming. A couple seconds past, you didn't know if anyone was saying anything, you couldn't focus on anything at the moment. “Y/n?” Scarlett questioned. At this point you had a whole crown surrounding you, you couldn't break down, not here, not now. 

“Im fine, just woman issues,”You sniffled and pointed to your stomach and peoples faces dropped and a few laughs were shared. 

“Ill go easy on you,” Anthony joked and you sniffed a bit so you could get ready for the fight scene again. He could tell something was wrong, he was going to confront you when this scene was over.

It all played out fine until Anthony had to use you as a suspension tool, he put his hands on your shoulders and put all his weight onto you. He dug his fingers right into the bruises on your shoulders.

“Fuck!” You screamed out in immense pain, a couple tears fell down your cheeks. 

“Y/n whats going on?” Anthony Russo asked.

“I just need a quick break please.” You begged as more tears threatened to fall.

“20 minute break everyone!” The Russo brothers called.

“Y/n!” Mackie called but you were long gone, already half way to your trailer.

“We need to go talk to her,” Sebastian told Mackie, they both had the same idea as they sprinted after you.

When you got to your trailer, the tears didn't stop, you sank down next to the door and just sobbed, it was an ugly, loud, desperate cry and you wish all this internal and external pain would just vanish.

“Y/n!” Anthony burst through the doors, throwing all caution to the wind.

“No!!” You shouted out but it was too late, Anthony and Sebastian were standing in-front of you, in your trailer, eyes wide with worry.

“Y/n please,” Anthony kneeled next to you. You just buried your head in his neck and sobbed. “Shhh, shhh its okay,” He stroked the back of your hair as you uncontrollably relieved your heart. “Breath Y/n breath,” Sebastian got on his knees and stroked your arm. Your breathing now becoming erratic. “Y/n breath,” Anthony had a look of complete worry.

He grasped your upper arms and made you look at him. “Y/n you need to breath, focus on me okay?” You nodded as your chin trembled. He had never seen you like this before. “Breath in,” You tried. “Breath out,” You tried again. You continued that until your breathing was under control.

For a second Anthony just stared at you.

“What happened girl?” You just shook your head. To test the waters Anthony put his hand on your shoulder will little force and you shouted from the pain. “Please don’t.” You squeaked, your throat raw from crying. There was an unspoken agreement, Anthony grabbed the hem of your shirt and lifted it up. The look on their faces would be ingrained in your mind for a long time yet to come. Yet again you just burst out crying. Anthony waved his hands around and Sebastian was gone and Anthony was just cradling you, he was crying into your hair. “Why wouldn't you tell me,”

Thats the last thing you heard before sleep consumed you. 

You woke up to a foreign view and a foreign smell. You knew where you were instantly. You sat up and winced, your pelvis ached each time your moved. The first thing you saw was Chris, sitting there with this hands covering his mouth like he was thinking, leg bouncing up and down and just starting at you with sorrowful eyes. As soon as you locked eyes with him, you broke down again, this time is was Chris’s turn to cradle you. “Shhhh, I promise its going to be okay,” He cooed. “Im so sorry,” was all you could coo back. “Don’t speak.” He said.

You and Chris stayed like that until Sebastian and Anthony showed up, you instantly felt safe, you missed how this felt. 

“Im so sorry.” Was all you could say, your mind couldn't think of anything else for once, just how sorry you were. All three men had tears in their eyes. All three men were there to support you, they weren’t going to shout or be angry, they cared.

“We love you so much.” Anthony said with a hand on your knee.

-

It took you a good 30 minuted to muster up the courage to tell them what happened.

They all sat and listened contently about how you met Alex.

“Then stuff started getting serious, they would... touch me without my consent,” You said.

“Did you say no?” Chris asked. 

You nodded. “They said they would tell you all bad things about me if I didn't comply,” You answered. The group sighed.

“Thats why you were so distant,” Seb said. 

You nodded again. “They didn't want me to be close to you guys.”

Seb put his hand on your knee and rubbed.

“The yesterday, after we had the argument, I went to their house and thats when they fully, you know,” You couldn't hold back. You put your hands up to your face and sobbed again. “We know, we know, you dont have too say it,” Sebastian rubbed your back.

“Y/n” Chris said, you looked up at him. He was fully sobbing also. “I love you so much and I am so sorry for everything that I said, I didn't mean any of it I promise,” You nodded. “Neither did I, I love all you guys, im so fucking sorry,” You sobbed some more.

After you talked some more, the boys decided it would be the right idea to take you to the hospital, just incase.

-

“The X-Ray shows a broken collar bone,” The doctor admitted. All three men sighed and Anthony muttered a little ‘oh gosh’. “Im so sorry Y/n,” The doctor was extremely empathetic. “We will just have to put it in a sling for a week or two and no extra circular for at least three,” 

“Three weeks!!” You exclaimed, “I cant not work for three weeks!! We have shooting.” You explained. 

“Y/n, its fine,” Chris explained. “The Russo’s will understand.” You just leant your head back against the hospital bed. “Can we go now, hospitals make me uneasy.” The boys were slightly more happy that you were getting more verbal again. 

“With your consent, we would like to do a rape kit, just to see if there is any damage internally.” You nodded your head slowly.

The exam was uncomfortable, your whole body was tense and rigid. 

“Its okay darling, relax.” The lady was so lovely and she made you feel at ease for a bit but the impending thought was about what was happening to Alex.

“Okay its all done darling, would you like your guardians to come in whilst I tell you the results so they can hear it too?” You nodded.

The men got ushered in and they stood by your side, hands on your upper arms. 

“So there wasn't any internal damage but there is alot of tissue and a bit of muscle damage and some dark bruising both on the pelvis and inner and outer thighs,” You nodded. “That will take some time to heal and might get a bit painful so we will give you some pain killers for that and some cream for the bruises,” She gave you a sweet smile. 

“You did so well, “ Chris cooed as he stroked your hair. You nodded at him.

“Watch thinking about girl,” Anthony butted in.

You took a breath and spilled. “Its just Alex, whats going to happen to them,” You worried.

“They are going to get what they deserve, thats what.” Sebastian butted in.

You nodded and started to tear up. 

“Y/n” Chris said and you looked up at him.

“We are with you till the end of the line.”

┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━━★━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙

#teen!reader x marvel cast #teen!reader x chris evans #teen!reader x sebastian stan #teen!reader x anthony mackie #chris evans x reader #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie x reader #marvel

[teenyweenynightghost]

@mevlliflous

“Hey, just look at me. Breathe.” X Damiano

(I promise this one isn’t an Uno based fight😅)

Damiano was in the back of a cab, his suitcase resting in the trunk while he looked anxiously out the window.

He had been away on tour for 4 moths, not having seen y/n even once. He missed her so much and loved her more than ever, but he had messed up. He was weary and scared of how y/n would react, his mind terrified at the idea of losing her.

The car slowed to a stop, Damiano paying the driver and heading to the entrance of his home, suitcase in one hand, a bouquet of flowers in the other.

He walked up the few steps that led to the door, admiring the well kept garden, seeing the little fairy house he had built with y/n right before leaving.

He rested his head against the door, breathing deeply, before knocking on it.

In less then a moment, he was met with the most mesmerizing girl he had seen in his life, the one he loved the most in this whole world.

Her arms were wrapped around him in a second, squeezing him tightly and hugging him as if the world would end tomorrow.

“DAMIANO!! YOU’RE BACK!” She screamed full of excitement, parting away so that she could see his gorgeous face. Y/n’s face fell as she noticed the worry and distress in her lover’s face.

“Amore, what’s wrong? You’re worried.”

At those words, seeing her concern and sorrow, Damiano broke apart, falling to his knees and crying, his face hidden in her stomach.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry cara mia! You have to believe me I love you and only you! I can’t picture my life without your glowing presence besides me! You have to believe me please! Im so fucking sorry!” He pleaded, trying to speak between his sobs, as the cotton dress y/n was wearing became soaked with his tears.

She knelt to the ground, enveloping him in a reassuring hug, and stroked his soft hair.

“Shhh, amore, it’s alright. No matter what happened, we’ll talk it through. Okay? Look at me. Breathe. Breathe with me.”

Damiano closed his eyes and nuzzled further into the crook of y/n’s neck, doing his best to listen to her heartbeat.

“Good, just breathe with me.”

The couple were soon in sync, as y/n kept caressing Damiano’s face. She eventually tilted his face towards her, and brushed a delicate finger underneath his eyes, wiping away his tears.

“Let’s go inside and talk there, alright amore?” She asked him softly, leading him inside once he nodded.

They both sat together on the couch. Y/n grabbed Damiano’s hands in her own and looked him straight in the eyes.

“Amore, what happened?” She questioned him once more, a soft, empathetic look on her face.

Damiano’s eyes pooled with tears once more as disgust filled the rest of his features. He looked down and squeezed Y/n’s hands.

“I cheated on you.” He whispered, afraid that his own consciousness would hear and destroy him further.

He heard y/n’s breath catch in her throat, as the grip on his hands softened. He was terrified of looking up and seeing what he had caused. A deafening silence filled the room, broken by both of their hearts beating out of their chest.

“Do you still love me?” Her broken voice made its way to Damiano’s ears.

“Always. You know that Y/n. You have my heart. And you always will. I never felt as content and relaxed as I am with you. My life is crazy and constantly moving, but it all feels like it slows down when I am with you, cara mia.”

He took a deep breath and continued.

“You are the only thing in my head. When I wake up, I imagine being next to you. When I shower, I imagine doing it with you. Every concert, every time I sing, my heart dedicates it to you. I fucked up y/n. I know I fucking did. I just went insane, got drunk and blacked out. The next morning..”

Tears kept falling down his face and onto the couch as he tried to keep his composure, at least until he could finish all that he had to say.

“You can leave me if you want. You can stay. You can slap me, hurt me, hate me. I just want you to be happy. I need you, Y/n.”

She looked up and saw the devastation in Damiano’s eyes. Concern flooded her as she thought about him being completely unconscious in a strangers room. But knowing how much he loved her is all she needed.

“Damiano, it’s okay. I understand.” She assured him, cupping his cheek.

“No, cazzo. You shouldn’t. You deserve better than this. I shouldn’t have.. fuck Y/n I’m so fucking sorry and no, you shouldn’t have to understan-“

“Stop! Please. Just let me talk.”

Damiano looked up at her and silently nodded.

“When I was younger, I ended up doing the same thing. I was in love Dami, but I had to be away from them for so long.. and then something went wrong with work, I got drunk… and I lost them forever.”

Y/n took a deep breath before continuing again.

“I know how you feel. I’ve felt the devastation and guilt. But we have to make this work.”

The singer slightly furrowed his brows, and leaned over to cup her face.

“I didn’t know this happened to you…”

“I was too afraid to tell you. I was ashamed of it all.” Her voice broke at the last word, averting her gaze.

“But… you said have to…” He looked at her fearful expression and his mind started racing once more.”

“Y/n, Is something wrong?”

She looked at him, struggling to memorize every single one of his features before they would disappear from her once more. She did her best to calm herself, before leading his hand to her stomach, preparing herself for the worst.

“Oh amore, we have to make this work. We won’t be alone anymore in a few moths.”

Damiano’s face lit up at the realization, his eyes not being able to choose between looking at his beloved or her bump.

“OH CAZZO! I DIDN’T NOTICE IT BEFORE!” He shot up, taking her up with him, before grabbing her and spinning her around the room, screaming with glee.

“Y/N! HOW LONG? HOW? I-“ The singer was mind blown. He couldn’t even figure out how all of this took such a delightful turn.

“Fuck, why are you crying mi amore?” He was by her side in a second, grabbing her gorgeous, delicate face in his hands.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to be with me after you would find out!” She cried, bringing up her hands to wipe away the tears.

“I think we have had too many close calls tonight” he huffed, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her head, smiling contently.

“Damiano, I think we should just take it all from the start now.”

“We always will amore. In this life and the next. We did that in all of our previous ones. We’re soulmates, and we will meet again, we will always find our way to one another.”

Y/n couldn’t believe her ears. She felt safe and protected in Damiano’s arms, knowing he will never leave her.

Damiano started humming a love song in y/n’s ear, which slowly turned into him serenading his soulmate, pressing loving kisses to her stomach as he envisioned their future together.

Taglist: @fuckim-so-gay @ginny-lily @messyhairday-me @cheese-toastie-11 @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @simp-per-ethan @maneskinrollercoaster @juststalking @superchrystaldrug

#maneskin #damiano david #måneskin #you guys have no idea how hard it was to NOT make this a funny thing in the end

[starbuckie]

𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤

challenge: time travel challenge by @justagirlinafandomworld​

prompt: “we’re divorced?” 

pairing: sirius black x reader

words: 5.7k words

warnings: FOURTH WALL BREAK!!(sorry im very excited about that), lots of angst, almost smut(hehe), sirius lowkey has a breeding kink, sirius is an asshole for a bit, the smallest bit of fluff, fix-it, and the same time travel theory as back to the future

summary: an unnatural occurrence lets a woman go back in time to try and change everything she’s known for the past twenty years.

a/n: wow, i normally don’t write for harry potter so this was a nice change. anyways, this is for yvette’s time travel writing challenge, and everybody say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YVETTE! i’m so sorry this is late, it got deleted and i needed to re-edit, but i truly appreciate your friendship and your lovely, amazingly beautiful self, and I’m so so glad that we became friends :)  this fic is not beta-read at all, so if you see any mistakes tell me, but otherwise i really hope you enjoy this fic<3

main masterlist || harry potter masterlist

It still wasn’t over. After all she had lost, more specifically everyone she had lost, and the shitty cycle that she had to call her life, it still wasn’t over. The people she had watched the life drain from, the screams of those suffering from the loss caused by the Dark Lord, and yet life still hadn’t had its fill of torturing Y/N. Grimmauld Place felt empty without the kids, without the Weasleys, but they had gone back to their home and soon enough she would have to as well. Harry had gone back to Hogwarts with Dumbledore, though she’d argued to hold onto him just a bit longer after-

After Sirius had died. 

Time had passed, maybe two or three weeks, but no matter what the woman couldn’t bring herself to get out of Sirius’ old bedroom, simply staring at the ceiling with her tears at bay. Her and Sirius had been a complicated thing, to say the least, a topic nobody had brought up since 1983, when she had banned it. Not as if there was much to talk about after the divorce and Sirius going to Azkaban. After Lily and James had died, after she had fought with Dumbledore for custody of Harry, after she had become a professor at Beauxbatons and moved to France without a second thought. Sirius had been locked up after he’d hurt her in the worst possible way, and Y/N’s heartbroken soul found no other reason to return to England. 

But, she pushed those bad memories to the back of her mind. It seemed so trivial, looking back on it. Not the broken house, of course, that had been his own mistake. But Y/N had many regrets, all of them seeming to revolve around the mischievous black-haired man who she had fallen in love with as a teen. The night it went down, the night their relationship had fractured at the seams and fallen down, was her greatest one however. It had been so stupid, so, so stupid, but they’d both gotten caught up in the moment, and Y/N had let him die without knowing how much she was sorry for that night that they let their fears consume them. 

The cries that she had tried so hard to contain finally broke free from the restraints of her heart. “I’m so sorry, Siri,” she whispered into the air, “I couldn’t save you this time.” As the hot, salty tears ran down her cheeks, Y/N shuffled across the room, letting her feet drag her to the old Black family room, the dark green walls embracing her rainy emotions. 

A little gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the portraits among the wall. The Black family tree was faded along the age-old wall, but what she was really looking for was the burned out image of her raven-haired love. There, right next to Regulus, was a black spot, scorned and scarred by the prestigious family for being a blood traitor. Y/N smiled and traced the burn with her finger, remembering their fourth year when she had accompanied him home for the holidays so he wouldn’t be completely alone in the hellhole he had to call his house. Sirius had snuck them up to this room and spent the night talking in hushed whispers sworn secrets. “I’ll be yours forever, Siri, and I’m sorry for fighting with you. I wish-” she sniffled, glaring at the spot in the wall as she tried to garble out her words, “I wish, I could go back in time, and just fix it. Just me and you, and that stupid night, with the bloody fight about children because you deserve it all, darling.”

“Ah, I think you can.” 

Y/N turned around, her eyes wide with fear. That was not Kreacher’s voice. There stood a younger woman, around nineteen, a scroll of paper and a quill in her hand. There was a whisper of a smirk on her face, brown eyes glittering even in the dimness in the room. “Who the hell are you?” Y/N looked at the door, which was still closed as she left it. She cast her wand out, pointing it at the stranger who did nothing but smile. “How did you get in here? Are you with the Lord?”

“With Voldemort?” The woman simply laughed. “Dude, I’m not with ‘the Lord’,” she added with air quotations. “Also I’m not really even here, so don’t you worry about that. My name’s Malia.”

Malia held her hand out, but Y/N kept her guard up. “You’re American. What brings you here? Are you a muggle?”

“Oh, nope, not a wizard, I’m just the author of this story.” Malia confided. “I’m here to tell you that you can fix this.”

“Fix… what?” Malia just rolled her eyes and sighed, staring up towards the ceiling as she spoke.

“God, did I write you to be hard of hearing now, too? I ought to fix that when I get back.” The woman blankly stared at the strange girl, wondering what the actual fuck she was talking about. “I can give you the chance to go back in time, Y/N. It won’t be for long, it’s really not gonna be interesting for more than two hours at most, but that should be enough time to tell the gang about what’s to come with Voldemort.”

“Like... time travel?” Y/N asked. The only way she knew how to time travel was the time turners. “But all of the ti-”

“Time turners were destroyed in the Department of Mysteries, I know, I know. Trust me, I’ve read Harry Potter more times than I’ve said ‘I love you’ to my parents.” Malia smiled. “I’m the author, I make the rules, and my rule is that I’m giving you two hours in 1978 to talk to Sirius so he can fix the emotional fucking mess left behind by J.K. Rowling.”

“Who’s J.K. Rowling?” Malia shuddered at the name.

“A raggedy-ass, transphobic bitch who wrote y’all into existence, but she’s not of importance right now.” She checked the small, rectangular box in her hand, which glowed and provided little light in the darkened room. “Let’s see, it’s currently eleven-forty, so you have until one-forty to find the Marauders and fix this future. It may not be fixed in the books in the future, but if you are able to do it here that’s all that matters.” Malia’s brown eyes were downcast, her bright and loud personality dimming for just a moment before returning to Y/N’s confused gaze once more. “Try not to screw up too much while you’re there, just enough that you defeat the Dark Lord the first time. Tell Sirius all you know and that should be enough for him to fix all the mistakes, but do not under any circumstances let him or anyone else know who you are. I wish you luck, Y/N, it was nice to meet ya in person.” 

And with a peace sign in front of her face, she disappeared into a flash of neon pink light. 

“Bloody hell! Fix my future? Talk to Sirius? If this even is time travel, then how am I supposed to get there- AH!” Y/N’s body felt like it was turning inside out, her guts being torn from her stomach and back into it again. A delirious giggle arose from her lips in the black void she was pulled into, and a soft chatter could be heard, like voices at the end of a tunnel. 

“Blimey, looks like we got ourselves a nutter on school grounds.” Y/N’s arms flailed around, desperately seeking some sort of grounding surface to hold on to when her back hit a rough surface. There was an audible crack somewhere in her body, but she felt so sick that she couldn’t tell where. 

“Are you okay, ma’am? You just appeared from the sky and hit the ground.” Warm, brown eyes met Y/N’s, a familiar mess of black curls resting atop of the boy’s head. Large, rounded glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose, and an impish smile, one she used to know so well before he died, met his lips. 

“James,” she sighed. The boy stared at her strangely, and only then did she notice the three other boys and girls each behind them. Remus, Peter, Sirius, Lily, Marlene, and Alice. 

Sirius.

The sight that met her eyes made her nearly emotional. It had technically been only three weeks since she had seen him, but here was the young boy she had fallen in love with. The one who charmed her with his smart words and witty retorts to her brush-offs, who used to hold her in his arms in the most intimate and gentle ways. His grey eyes sparkled with curiosity, the infamous Marauder mischief swirling within the silvery pools.  

Seeing him so young tugged at her heartstrings, and though she wanted nothing more than to hold him in her arms and never let go, a small, niggling feeling at the back of her head held her back. Was there something wrong?

“You know me?” Oh right, she was currently thirty-five. Looking around she noticed that she was outside the quidditch pitch, and there were other students, staring at her with widened eyes. No one knew she was Y/N L/N, their fellow schoolmate and probably one of the very few of them that survived the Death Eaters attacks. None of them were aware how it ended, or how it was currently going for them back in 1996, and in this time there was the first Wizarding War going on and they had every right to be terrified for their lives.

James now took a more defensive stance, standing tall and holding his wand out. “Who are you?”

She couldn’t give him the answer, instead letting her mouth gape open as she stared at him with wide eyes. Y/N looked across the grounds for the nearest exit, which was down by Hagrid’s hut and into the Forbidden Forest. It was her only choice at this point, to hide in the dark, creepy space, maybe just until the students went away so she could find Sirius and talk to him alone. It’d be hard to separate him from the boys, but if Lily were occupied with James it sure would be easy. 

Her younger, seventh-year self didn’t seem to be in the audience, thank Merlin, and with that knowledge, she got up and ran, ignoring her screaming muscles. That time travel really did a number on her. 

As she ran through the crowd, shoving people aside, she heard the students mutter, too much in shock and disarray to stop the crazy, old woman who knew James Potter.

“This is dodgy.”

“Someone ought to tell Dumbledore about this.”

“She kinda looks like Y/N L/N.’

“Don’t insult the poor girl like that, that wonker is ages old.”

“Come back here! Who the bloody hell are you?” Y/N’s heart beat quickly in her chest, threatening to burst out. Only three minutes in the past and it was all going straight to shit. “Stupefy!”

Shit. “No, James, please don’t-“ Her body hit the ground and her eyes closed, the last thing she saw being the pumpkin patch by the hut.

-

“I see you’re awake now, Ms. L/N.” Dumbledore stood above Y/N in the hospital ward bed, his grey beard dangling in front of her face. Her first instinct was to start blaming him for everything that had happened, starting from Lily and James’ deaths to Sirius’, already opening her mouth to call him an old, senile cow, but then she realized that Harry hadn’t been sent to the Dursleys yet, much less been born yet, so none of it would have an effect on him. Y/N’s second instinct was to question how Dumbledore knew who she was in 1978, but her former Headmaster started to speak before she could do so. “I must admit, it’s very courageous, that stunt you just pulled. I don’t think Ms. Louie will be too happy about that.” Y/N sent him a questioning stare. “Malia, the girl you met earlier. Malia Louie.”

“Headmaster Dumbledore, how did you know it was me?” She was dressed in a white gown that went to her knees, and behind him she could see her blouse and jeans folded and clean. Ah, the Hospital Wing. She had brought the boys here more times than she could count in her years at Hogwarts. “I don’t exactly look as young as I used to.”

“Ah, don’t worry Ms. L/N, you’ve kept your good looks quite nicely, even in your older age.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully, his wrinkled eyes sparkling with joy. “And speaking of young, if you are still worrying yourself about your younger self, you can put that to a stop. I am aware that you are not able to tell anyone who you are, and time travel is exceptionally dangerous if you are seen by the other version of yourself. I’ve already told the students that you were just a stray witch, misguided in your ways and that you were well taken care of. However, I think that brings us to the question of what your intentions are in the past, Ms. L/N.”

“Headmaster, I don’t think I can tell you about my business here. I’ve already messed up by letting the school see me by letting everyone see me, I don’t know why that girl even sent me here, it’s clear that this was a mistake.” Y/N sat up on the headboard, feeling her eyes fill with tears once again. The tall arches of windows let the sun in the room, and she could see the specks of dust swirling around in the golden light. It had to be close to the end of the year for them, maybe sometime around April or May, near the end of N.E.W.T.s at least. She could imagine that it’d be easy for her to get out of Hogwarts for the day, with all the students studying for the stressful exams in the library, maybe she'd make her way to Hogsmeade and walk around or visit Hagrid under a false name to have some tea. He was always open for a nice cuppa with strangers on any free day he had. “Thank you Headmaster, for your kindness, but I really ought to be going. I-it was nice to see you.”

Y/N started to help herself out of the bed, swinging her feet over to touch the cool stone ground. Bones cracked with pain and fatigue, her muscles stretching sluggishly. Merlin, that she was not expecting that much hurt from the fall, but she should have never underestimated James Potter. No one ever should if they want to keep their good mind and sanity. 

Dumbledore handed her her clothes, cracked lips set in a straight line as he nodded solemnly. “I hope you accomplish whatever it is you are here to do, Ms. L/N, but I have no doubt that you will.” With a sly wink, he added, “You were always one of our most ardent and bright students.”

Y/N let herself smile, and with a wave, swiftly brought herself to the door. “Thank you, Headmaster.”

After slipping outside, she ran down the corridors, echoes of her feet ringing lightly behind her. The courtyard proved to be empty and she quickly ducked behind a column and tugged her jeans on hastily, making sure that no professors came walking past. Though the sky proved to be bright and cheerful, a slight breeze carried through, making her fall off balance and fall on the cemented ground. 

“Are you okay, darling? You look like you’re in need of a little help.” Y/N looked up to the speaking figure, one that she both loved and dreaded to see. 

She gathered herself quickly, her mind running fast and heart beating out of her chest as she tried to get out. “Yes, I am okay, thank you for asking. I think I’ll just get up and going now, I don’t need to take time out of your day like this-”

“I know who you are, Y/N.” 

Y/N came to a full stop, going against her brain that screamed at her to run away. Sirius looked downtrodden, his grey eyes watering despite the small hint of a smirk on his face. Though he was always one for playing around and not taking anything seriously, she knew when it was time to stop pretending and get real. “How’d you know it was me, Sirius?”

“You really don’t look bad for your age, darling.” He offered her a hand to help her up and she took it graciously, eyeing him nearly guiltily and forgetting about her promise to Y/N. But that was useless now, this moment with her first love was much more important. “Also you have the tattoo on your chest. I knew it was you the moment you landed on school grounds.”

She traced his gaze to her left collarbone, where a paw print, just barely visible beneath her low-cut blouse, sat. It was his, or Snuffles’, paw print, and at this point in time they had probably gotten it done about three months before. He had one for her too, a horseshoe for her horse patronus, right on his left side of his chest too. So they’d always be right next to each other’s hearts, as cheesy as it seemed.

But they were dumb, lovesick teenagers, and they acted the part well too. Their love was all-consuming, shagging in under the bleachers at the quidditch pitch and making out under the stars. It was fast, everything was fast, decisions, ideas, classes, all of them under the impression that they had to do everything right then or they’d be dead before they got to actually live. They had dreams of marriage, and a big, big family, obviously so far away from his family so they could never hurt their children’s lives the way they had hurt his. 

They were fantasies, Y/N had known that well enough when she and Sirius got divorced, but it was something that eighteen year-old Sirius Black held close to his heart. No matter how shitty his life got, he was always a firm believer in a happy ending. In their happy ending. 

“How am I right now?” They now stood over the Black Lake, staring into the glittering depths of the water where some mermaids could be seen sneaking peeks at the handsome boy and the strange lady who had fallen from the sky. 

Sirius stared at her questioningly for a moment. “How are you doing right now? I mean, I believe that I should be asking you that ques- oh, Merlin, I’m such a git, you meant your younger self.” Y/N laughed at that, her heart lifting with the goofiness of the old Sirius relieving an ache in her heart that she had had for so long. Not that old (it felt weird to say that) Sirius had been anything less than silly and snarky, but it was never directed towards her. It was nice to have the resemblance of their old relationship back, even if it was just for a fleeting moment. “I suppose that you’re okay. You didn’t see, well, your big moment on the field, but at this point Lily has probably opened her big, fat mouth and told you. N.E.W.T.s are just finishing up, so you’re much more light-hearted than during the study season.”

“I really did have a stick up my arse during exam time, you always told me to loosen up-” 

“Y/N, cut out the small talk, I think it’s okay for me to ask how and what is happening.” Sirius cut in.

So she told him. Y/N had always been upfront with people about everything. Or rather, she had learned how to be upfront with people after her and Sirius’ divorce. Without details of the deaths, she explained how she was sent back into the past to fix it in some conceivable way. However, she did tell him about the fall out. Maybe she wanted him to understand her pain, even though it was a younger him, but she had to admit to herself that it was because she just wanted Sirius, in whatever form life gave her to hear out her grievances and apologies. 

Since her Sirius was dead before she could.

“We’re divorced?” Sirius looked about ready to break down into tears, almost as if the concept of them breaking up or separating was foreign to him. “What exactly did we fight over, Y/N? That doesn’t seem normal for the two of us.” Sirius asked.

“Well, to be fair, it wasn’t a normal predicament for us. either…”

Sirius slammed the door shut, efficiently pinning her against it with his white button up ruffled up, navy tie hanging from his neck loosely. Y/N’s arms were held down tightly against the oak wood, the sensation of the cold door burning into her rather warm skin making her squeal. Her husband’s tongue worked its way through her parted lips, low groans rising from the back of his throat from the way she moaned in tandem with his hips pushing into hers. Legs wrapped around his tapered waist, the pink, floral skirt Y/N wore rising high on her thighs, revealing more of her flesh to the lust-filled man. Both of their giggles echoed off the hallway walls of their small cottage home, just four miles west of their best friends’. 

As the twenty year-old man threw his wife unceremoniously on the bed, he shed himself of his shirt and swiftly unbuttoned his slacks, throwing them haphazardly across the room. Merlin, Y/N looked ethereal laying spread out on the bed, panties around her left ankle, swollen lips parted with short puffs of air leaving them. “You just get right down to business, don’t you, Black.” 

Crawling over his body, his hot breath hit her neck as he growled against her skin. “Could say the same thing about you, darling.” Sirius’ lips made their way down every inch, every curve, nook, and cranny of Y/N’s body, smoothly slipping her clothes off as he did so. Her sweet gasps filled the bedroom, back arching off the bed to meet his chest. “I’m going to put a baby in you tonight, sweetheart, we’re-”

Y/N sat up straight, her eyebrows trained in confusion at her husband. “What? A baby?” 

Sirius’ heart pounded in his chest. “Yes.” He remarked in a clipped tone. “Is that not what you wanted?” 

Her mind recalled her words from earlier that day, as she chatted happily with Lily about the news of her pregnancy. “Siri, I said I may one day enjoy having a kid of my own. Not right now, of course, but later. After all, we only got married a few months ago, don’t you think we should hold off a bit on that? We’re twenty years-old, Siri, there’s so many years for that.”

Rage filled Sirius’ blood like a spreading fire. In all honesty, it wasn’t so much about his anger as it was his hurt and fear. Fear that she had realized how fucked up he truly was, fear that she realized what he had known all along- that she deserved better than him. “So you don’t want a baby with me?”

“I never said I didn’t want that, Sirius, I just said that I’m not ready!” Y/N yelled back. At this point both of them stood on opposite sides of the bed, faces hot with tears. “We’re in the middle of a bloody war, people we know, people we love, have lost their lives, and it is not the ideal environment to raise a child, Sirius! Just because James and Lily are ready to have one doesn’t mean that I am too!”

“When will you be ready, Y/N? When will it ever be enough time for you? When will I be enough for you?” The heartbroken girl tried to interject, but her voice was cut off by her husband’s quickly enough. Sirius climbed onto the bed, holding her chin harshly with one hand. “Tell me, did you ever want to be with me in the first place?”

“Yes, Sirius, of course I wanted to be with you.” His heart hurt looking at the love of his life in tears, but even that was able to melt his cold facade. “I love you more than anything in the world.” 

“Then fucking prove it, Y/N.” With that declaration, he removed his hand from her face and gathered his clothes, slamming everything in their shared room as Y/N quivered, knees ready to buckle on the spot. “I’m going out, don’t wait up for me.”  

As soon as the front door shut, she fell to the ground in tears, the laughter that once filled their home replaced with the sound of her shattered heart. 

Y/N had done her best to not tear up during her explanation of the events that had taken that night, but Sirius' eyes watered, refusing to believe the truth. “No. No. I didn’t do that. Y/N, tell me,” he gripped her biceps with trembling hands, “please tell me I didn’t really do that. I can’t believe that I-I, that I-”

“You were drunk, Sirius, I don’t think you truly knew what you were saying at the time.” She sighed, “But people always say that drunken words are just sober thoughts.” Y/N rubbed her arms, just shivering slightly in the Scotland breeze. “You came back two hours later punching the wall and breaking it, and that’s when I knew that we wouldn’t last.” 

The raven-haired boy’s head started to shake, even more mortified of the actions that his future self, the man he’d be in just two years' time, had done. “I packed up my things, not that there were many, we’d only moved into the house a month before, left, and I sent the divorce papers a week later. It was probably better that way, you would’ve divorced me if I hadn’t done it first.” Y/N had gotten used to telling her sob story to colleagues at Beauxbatons, to her family, but it felt different with pre-divorce Sirius. Of course, she had never thought she’d be in this citation either, so no one could really blame her for feeling weird. “You signed them easily, and my lawyer made sure that I never had to see you again.”  Until Lily and James died.

“Until…” Sirius led on.

“Merlin’s beard, Sirius, you’ve always been able to read my mind. Shouldn’t have doubted it for a second.” He smiled at the sentiment, gesturing for her to continue. “I can’t tell you, Sirius, I hope you can understand that.”

“Why, Y/N, what happens that can be any worse in the future?” Oh dear, Sirius, you really do not want the answer to that question. She needed any way out of this conversation, after all running away was what she did best, and her eyes already searched for several routes to which she could run. Not that Y/N could ever outrun Sirius in his animagus form, but it was nice to have the belief that she could. The boy sensed her distress and grabbed hold of her hand. “You don’t have to tell me, darling, but I have to admit that I am a bit worried, just in the slightest.”

Y/N let herself calm down, squeezing Sirius’ hand and noticing his watch. She had actually given him that watch, gold-plated and dark grey metal, but it wasn’t the beauty of the gift that caught her eye, but rather the actual time on it. One-thirty. 

How had that much time gone by so quickly? She was going to be sucked into the black void of time travel again in ten minutes, and that wasn’t nearly enough time to unload nearly twenty years worth of history onto Sirius. No, he would go insane from that much knowledge, which was exactly against what Malia had advised. 

“I don’t have enough time to tell you everything that happens in the future, Sirius. But what I am about to tell you is vital, absolutely vital for the good of all of us in the future.” Sirius nodded with a serious sort of smile on his face. “Don’t let Peter be Lily and James’ secret keeper. When the time comes that they move away, I’m not going to tell you where yet, do not under any circumstances let Peter be their secret keeper. I know he’s one of our best friends right now, and do not tell anyone about this, but he’s going to betray us in the worst way possible.” 

While Sirius was shocked, he nodded solemnly and ran a hand through his long hair. “I won’t tell anyone, Y/N. Can I fix us, Y/N? I don’t know if you should be letting the key to a happier future rest in my hands.”

“I full heartedly trust that you’ll do some good, whatever the outcome may be. As for fixing us, I hope you can, but depending on what happens we’ll just have to wait and see.” She sighed, “If you want my opinion on it, I think that we both should have waited longer to get married. It was right after James and Lily got married, but we aren’t and never will be them. We both had a lot of growing up to do, so I would take it slowly. Communicate your wants and needs in the relationship and in the end it may not even be us together. But I know you, Siri, don’t let this get in the way of your entire life. The most important part is that you tell James and Lily about Peter.”  

She glanced back up the school grounds where students could start to be seen leaving their classes. “You better get back to the castle, Sirius. McGonagall is going to come for your arse and this time the boys aren’t going to be able to cover for you.”

“If they knew where I was, darling, I don’t even think they’d believe me.” Sirius chuckled.

Y/N nodded in agreement and pulled Sirius into a tight hug. “You can do this, sweetheart, and even if you can’t, it will not stop me from loving you any less. Maybe the future wasn’t meant to be changed, but regardless of whether that is true or not, I know that you will try your hardest, Sirius. Just try not to die, okay?”

The boy was still clutching onto her tightly, his tears soaking her rose-colored blouse. “I’ll do my best, darling.”

With one last kiss on the forehead, she smiled at him. “I know you will, Siri.” 

-

Y/N’s arse hit the floor once again, her spine cracking once again. “What’s the year?” She yelled out, reaching for the walls of the black family room. 

But it wasn’t there. Upon opening her eyes, she saw James, Lily, and Sirius sitting at a wooden table in her old white cottage. A nice tea set, her grandmother’s as she realized later, sat in the center, along with a large stack of letters. “Y/N, what the bloody hell happened to you, I’ve been worried sick!” 

Her red-headed best friend scurried over to her, brushing invisible dirt off her shoulders and pulling her up abruptly. James fixed the glasses on his nose, cleaning them off with his striped jumper. “You look a little disheveled right now, Y/N, what ran you over?” 

“You know who she reminds me of right now, Jamie? That crazy witch friend of Dumbledore’s that made her way onto campus back in seventh year.” Lily giggled as she hugged Y/N.

“Merlin’s beard, you’re right!” James walked over to the woman of the hour, ruffling her hair with a smirk on his face. “If you were about twenty years older I’d have no trouble believing you were the same person.”

While Lily and James recalled their memories from the strange woman all those years ago at Hogwarts, Sirius pulled Y/N aside, an arm wrapped around her waist. The warmth radiating from his body was nice, embracing her in a comfort she hadn’t felt in so long.

“I’m going to go ahead and believe that I did something right?” Sirius grabbed her hand, and only then did she notice the coolness of metal sitting on her left ring finger. There sat the single band of gold, a small ruby encased in its plating. She had once joked that diamonds were too overrated, and he went out and got her the most vibrant gem he could find, claiming that it was just like her. But regardless of its shape, size, or type of gem, it was there.

“Yeah, Siri,” Y/N replied with tears in her eyes, “you did good.” 

“Oi, Blacks, stop making out and get over here, we got a letter from Minnie!” James yelled, making both wives chuckle. “Harry’s gotten himself in detention for punching Malfoy again.”

“Oh, thank Merlin, the boy deserves a few more good hits.” Sirius laughed. 

“McGonagall still talks to us?” Y/N asked in amazement. “You’ve got to get me caught up.”

“Don’t worry, darling, we’ve got all the time in the world.” Sirius gently placed his lips onto hers, and for once in nearly twenty years, Y/N felt at peace. There were no more hasty warnings of the future, no psychotic old men coming after her family, no young girls rushing in to tell her how to fix her screwed up life. Cracked, pink lips moving against her own, his tongue delving into her mouth, and Y/N knew she was finally off the clock.

#sirius black x reader #harry potter fanfiction #yvettestimetravelchallenge #harry potter #marauders fanfiction #marauders fic #young marauders #sirius black is really just a beautiful man #sirius x reader #sirius black #sirius orion black #sirius x y/n #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagine #harry potter headcanon #marauder era #fanfcition #fanfiction #fanfic #Self Insert #reader insert #readerinsert

[akirosama777]

If nothing brings me joy and I always feel quite hollow, does that mean I've died inside already because I refused to follow...

Every person in the world who seems to skate, to flutter by... while the music fills my hollow ears and bleeds from glassy eyes?

Am I worth the amount of energy that I never seem to have, while the mother I once called a friend goes out to poison herself and die?

And I stand here in the bleakness of a hollow, brittle world, while I pick up all of the pieces that she left when she unfurled...

I am broken and I'm bleeding... I have nothing left to give, but the love I'd once begun to give, and barely alive to live.

I was beautiful once... I had a dream... had a goal or two in mind... but I'm sitting here in the broken wake that her destruction left behind.

But it began way before my time, began with a little girl... my mom... and her grandpa, such a piece shit, let's called the bastard, "Tom,"

Took from her, her innocence, shattered her life apart, sent her down a road of agony, and her father killed her heart.

When he sent her far away at the behest of a beastly cunt, sent her to a boarding school, a common parental stunt.

And her life began at 11 when she'd had it all ripped away, sent her down that road of agony in blood and tears was paved.

Then at 16 she met a Jewish man, who with her had his way, then abandoned her with two children on one fateful Christmas day...

But she picked up the pieces, worked 3 jobs, she became addicted to a couple of drugs... met my father in a satanic band, acting like a thug.

So when she fell in love with him, got him to change his ways, both of them kicked the drugs they'd started and set out on another day...

She soon became again pregnant with my father's first born son, and he tried to kill the baby, with a doctor... not a gun...

Told her if she loved him badly, loved him half as much as she'd said, that she'd abort that fetus and remove its tiny head.

But she didnt... and he stayed... later giving birth to me... but that's not the last of her children... I was only number three.

Then as I grew he would abuse me, threaten, beat and apparently molest... then she had my little brother but he'd never face these tests...

As I began to mature and grow, I could see the patterns form, and my mind became a labyrinth as the alters would soon be born.

And at 6 I tried to end it... but my little brother was there... just one of the many treasures that kept me from joining the City of Air.

And he saved me... I don't know why, but he removed the chord I would choose... saved me from my madness as the alters began to fuse.

All the while my mother from her past she'd grown quite numb... and my father kept her helpless, kept her silent... kept her dumb.

My older brother fell to drugs and disappeared one day... right around the time, eleven I think, where I realized I'm gay...

And my sister fell to young love, to a man who started fires... and my mother fell to drinking when the divorce set forth in ire...

Sent my sister too to heroin and my mother to her dark, while my brother depended greatly on my ability to endure the harsh...

So I shouldered all that hatred... shouldered all the pain inside... let the alters guide me forward through the labyrinth in my mind.

I pushed forward for my brother until my little sister was born... as my mother found another man who left her completely forlorn.

And another life depended on the strength I'd come to own... after all the pain of a father, who's approval was never shown.

I was broken, I was bleeding, I was yearning for a hand... never found it... never searched, for on my own I had to stand.

Now my brother... little brother, grown and turned into a guy, who too had shouldered pain and suffering likely due to mine.

And my sister, little sister, worst of all had witnessed decay... and was tortured by a mother who'd been through so much hate and pain...

But im here now... for my sisters... for my brothers best I can... all five of me are standing and I've grown into a man...

But I'm broken... fuck... im broken... and my mother now she's gone... left my darling little sister on a strangers dying lawn.

And I'm picking up the pieces... trying so hard to hold me up... trying so hard to remember but the memories are scuffed.

Yeah this story's probably cliche... im sure you've all heard it once before... heard about a broken persona raped and bloodied on the floor...

Yeah, you've probably already heard it... probably seen it on a show... nothing shocks you people anymore, when it's something you already know.

I'm so certain that it's pointless to write these words and cry... while my mothers out there drugging and likely about to die.

And my sister... my poor little sister... all those years I tried to protect... will soon be here to visit this pathetic, broken mess...

And I'm trying to keep it together... to tell the alters to quiet down... in my brief and silent lucidity in a new and peaceful town...

And despite my anger... sadness... despite the insidious voice of pain... I understand why mother did it... though I know it doesn't explain...

But her life was so much harder... she'd had so much love to give... but the entire world around her let her run into their shivs.

So she tried her best at surviving, passed those lessons on to us... taught us how to keep on fighting but never how to trust.

Now I'm married... and I love him... but I'm broken, hurting, mad... at the life they gave my mother and that treatment from my dad.

I'm so full of rage and agony... so full of hope and full of pain... that's why I can't get to healing... why I cry whenever it rains.

And she's missing... my mothers missing... a person who never could refrain... She went out to numb the agony, the voices in her brain.

And... I empathize. I sympathize... I understand those thoughts... im still fighting... im still trying... Im still battling... distraught...

For my sisters and my brothers I have never touched a drug... for my sisters and my brothers I have never said no to a hug.

For my sisters and my brothers I am fighting yet, so hard... to keep my head above the water and stay away from all the shards...

I won't cut myself again... I won't try suicide to commit. I won't do again what I'd tried to do at least five times... maybe six.

For my father I'll keep fighting... I'll keep being a better man... prove him wrong and keep on going... on his grave I'll one day stand.

For my family that was broken... I'll keep searching for our mom... I'll keep hoping she'll find solace deep within her sorrowful song.

Mom if you're out there somewhere breathing, just know I understand and care... Im still your standing pillar, still your darling baby bear...

For my little sister Anna and for Justin im still here... I'll do my best to outlive them and watch them live out all their years...

I will never let this agony... from my health or lack there of... push me down to join the army of the defeated by the drugs.

I will never let this anger, let this rage or let this pain, push me to the point again where I grow more alters in my brain.

I'll keep fighting for my dogs... keep on fighting for my man. Keep on fighting for my sisters... and for my brother's I will stand.

[bloomingnono]

meant it. (part 2)

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: ~ 1.7 k

warnings: language (like one curse word akjds)

intro l part 1 l part 2

a/n: im so sorry for the long wait:( i wanted to make sure i did my best, and wrote something i was overall pretty content with! but here’s the second, and final part to “meant it”!! i hope you all enjoy, especially my dear 🍿anonie<3

also not me making major adjustments 5 minutes before posting💀

taglist of my loves: @luvlyjaemin @vera-liscious @lenaluvs

Your bed felt cold. The type of cold that left your body weak. And yet again, you found yourself fighting to let sleep consume you.

You hesitantly turned to your left side, hoping that maybe, this was all just one big nightmare. That maybe when you turned around, he’d be there.

But you were only met with the other side of your bare bed; your lamp casting an amber tinge on your snow-white sheets.

Four weeks had passed since those final words had been exchanged. He had left you broken.

To say you missed him was an understatement.

You longed for the way your heartbeat quickened at his sight. You longed for the way your stomach fluttered as your name effortlessly slipped out of his lips. You longed for his touch; the way his fingers lingered against your skin.

You missed him.

But at what cost? To hear those three empty words leave his mouth?

No. Never again.

It was unfair to Jeno. But most of all, it was unfair to you.

You didn’t deserve to be told such idle lies.

Especially not from the one person you would give up your entire life for.

Jeno was a naive soul; so sincere and trusting of what only met the eye.

Mistakes were a daily occurrence in his life; learning and growing from them as he paved his way through.

.

But the second you left, he knew he had made the biggest mistake yet.

.

On the night when everything ended, there was an inexplainable feeling of void growing within him.

He didn’t have a reason to smile, nor the energy to cry.

Unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, he felt incomplete. It left him numb.

Before he knew it, four weeks had already gone by.

Four weeks since he last held your frame in his grasp. Four weeks since he last saw the face he once fell in love with. Four weeks since he left you utterly broken.

But in those four weeks, Jeno wasn’t living. He was simply existing.

He was merely left in his world; his actions and their consequences, being his sole companion.

He knew it was unfair to continue to lie and prolong the inevitable. But, why did it feel so wrong? It was the right decision to choose... right?

‘To choose.’

It seemed like such a simple action. It was something we did on a daily basis; nearly every second of every day.

Yet it held so much influence.

Jeno had finally realized that now.

Everything in life was purely a choice.

.

Everything.

You lie on your bed, your mind lost in all the bumps and ridges that painted your cream-colored ceiling.

It was late into the night, the moon peeking its way through the slits of your window blinds. The silence was peaceful, yet deafening.

Despite the unsettling aspects of the stillness, you’re ready for it to devour you; yearning for that feeling of tranquility that you haven’t felt in weeks.

But just as you are about to give in, you’re abruptly interrupted by frantic raps on your front door. Jostling up into a sitting position, you force yourself off your bed to check and see who was causing such a fuss.

The knocks on your door persist, not allowing for a single moment of intermission.

Apprehension quickly overtakes your body, frightened at what could possibly cause such actions to befall at this ungodly hour.

You hesitantly grab your doorknob, carefully turning it and opening the door just a fraction of the way.

You are met with a hunched figure; their hands on their knees and their hair damp with —what can only be assumed as— sweat. Their labored breathing leads you to believe they had run here, and hastily at that.

After a few short-lived seconds, you carefully try to assess the situation; fear still coursing throughout your body.

“Can I help you..?”

The figure instantly tenses at your tone, as if taken aback by the sound of your voice.

You watch in confusion as they begin to catch their breath, and stand to their full height. Straining your eyes to try and identify their face, you’re left frozen at the single feature that was recognizable even in pitch darkness.

His eyes.

You instinctively take a step backward, distrusting your vision.

But your presumption reigns true, as the figure tentatively takes a step forward through the doorway; his face now fully illuminated by your foyer light.

.

Lee Jeno.

.

He seemed to be in a terrible state: his hair a mess from the sweat, his clothes violated by the wind, and his breaths still quite uneven.

You attempt to try and form a coherent sentence, but the words seem to die in your throat. You could only look up at him, staring blankly with your mouth hung open.

“Wha... What are you doing here...?”

“I came to see you. I needed to talk to you. Immediately.” His expression was unreadable, yet his tone held the familiar hint of desperation. “I miss you. I want— No. I need you back. Nothing in this world seems right when I’m not with you. I’m not who I am without you. I need you…”

The silence that follows is unbearable.

It takes a few moments for his words to sink in. You feel your eyebrows furrow in confusion, contorting your features into a frown.

But the confusion is quickly replaced with the dreaded feeling of anger. It swiftly fills your entire soul, kindling a flame. The one emotion you tried so hard to repress, viciously engulfs your entire body.

The words that had once died in your throat, quickly resurrect and force their way out of your mouth.

You find your voice again. However, this time, it is nothing but cold and bitter.

“Lee Jeno, I love you. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still hopelessly in love with you, because I am. But you aren’t. And that’s why I let you go.”

The floodgates were finally opened. There was no going back.

“As much as I still loved you, and as much as it killed me to accept that you didn’t return those feelings for me anymore; I let you go. Want to know why? Because your happiness means so much more than my own. I let you go because I love you so fucking much.”

Jeno stares at you with wide eyes, unable to summon a statement that could somehow ease the pain in you eyes. “I-“

“No, listen!!” Your voice begins break, unable to keep your emotions at bay. The words flow out of your mouth quicker than your mind could process. “I wanted to blame you. I wanted to hate you and resent you so badly for everything you put me through, but I couldnt. Because I still fucking love you!!”

The last statement leaves your throat raw. But you persist.

“You really got some nerve, Lee Jeno.” You laugh humorlessly at the pure audacity, before turning back to him with a renewed flame.

“You left me absolutely shattered. And I couldn’t even hate you for it. I refuse to let you hurt me again. I refuse to watch, as the love for me floods out of your eyes again. I REFUSE!!!”

Every last bit of your energy is wasted on your final words as you scream them at the top of your lungs.

The angry tears streaming out of your eyes seem endless. Your whole body trembles with pure fury as you collapse to the floor, legs giving out beneath you.

Jeno instinctively scrambles to your side, supporting your fragile form with his own.

Too weak to fight against his hold, you allow yourself to be braced by him; the touch being all too familiar for your liking.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” You purposely avoid his gaze as you ask, your voice impossibly faint. You’re left completely exhausted; the anger quickly transforming into pure defeat.

There’s a moment of hesitancy. You feel the sharp intake of breath that he takes before the reply is given.

.

“I... love you.”

.

Those three words that you once adored, and now despised... Those three words that had eased all your pain, but now caused your suffering...

Those three words... were no longer hollow.

.

He meant it again.

.

A chill swiftly travels down from the top of your spine to the tip of your toes, leaving you senseless.

He promptly proceeds; the hesitancy in his tone now replaced with a new-found determination.

“I love you. And not because I have to, but because I want to.” Cold fingers gently grip your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze. “Loving you is not merely a spark. Loving you is not lust or simple desire. Loving you is a commitment. I want to wake up every day, and choose to love you.”

There’s another moment of silence; tears of regret traveling down to drip from the point of his chin.

“I’m so sorry for... everything.” He chokes back a sob as the words get caught in his throat. “I loathe myself for being the cause of all this. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and... and I completely understand if you aren’t willing to forgive me either-“

Before he could finish, you crash your lips onto his; successfully silencing his statement. Tears continue to descend both your guys’ cheeks, unable to subside from the overwhelming sense of comfort that came with being in the others’ warmth again.

You sense a familiar arm snake around your waist, pulling you deeper into the contact. Your own arms loop around his neck, absorbing the touch that you had longed for, so intensely.

You pull away from the kiss, coming face to face with the love of your life.

.

“You have no idea how much I missed feeling those words.” The sentence is muttered, speaking to yourself more than anyone else.

But he heard them nonetheless.

.

You feel his slender fingers encase either side of your face, his cool touch sending a wave of shock throughout your body. Keeping your face steady in his hands, he slowly leans his forehead against yours.

With his eyes closed and without a single waver in his voice, the words slip out again.

.

“I love you.”

.

You soak up the comfort that alluded from such simplicity.

You know that you guys aren’t perfect. Nowhere near it.

But what mattered, was that you were in each other’s hold again.

.

.

Because you loved each other...

.

.

And you meant it.

end.

#nct #nct dream #nct jeno #jeno lee #lee jeno #nct x reader #jeno x reader #jeno angst #jeno imagines #jeno blurbs #jeno scenarios #jeno fluff #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct angst #nct fluff #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream angst #nct dream drabbles