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peeterparkr · 3 years

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memories & misconceptions|tom holland

prologue: the summer flashback

song: enough for you-olivia rodrigo

↳ read Kat’s version here and Tom’s conversation with Kat. (Harry fic)

So, it’s here. Finally. I’m beyond excited for this. We’ve been working on this for so ong but we are super excited to shared this with you! This is a 2 fics in one, meaning I’ll write Tom’s fic and @erodasghosts will write a Harry Styles fic. It’s a choose your y/n, let’s say. The y/n for Tom will be named Thea on Harry’s fic, and Harry’s y/n is named Kat in this one. The stories are connected, it’s a group of friends living in an old town. This is all a flashback.

Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated.

STORY SUMMARY: Not every relationship can last forever, but what decides when it ends? Is it the memories of when things were, or is it the misconceptions of the present. What is stronger in matters of the heart when love and friendship becomes a choice? Does pride dim our devotion enough for it to be forsaken? And is obstinacy strong enough to erase the memory of a hopeful summer night? When a group of friends are reunited after years of unspoken truths and turbulent grudges, old arguments and fights might ricochet, and though their history might be dense enough to drown them, it might be the one thing to keep them afloat.

chapter summary: The heartbreak of a teenage unrequited lover or when one summer confession led to a disaster. pairing: band member! tom holland x y/n friends to enemies to strangers to lovers idiots to lovers

warnings: mentions of cigarettes, angsty, ish. word count: 9.3k

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Summer is known for romances, romances that spark and shoot like stars, romances that might start on an uneventful afternoon and end with the morning, giving you a night of memories, with innocent evenings full of wonder and hope. Secrets are hidden, songs are written but they say summer romances end for a reason or other. It’s no wonder, summer comes and goes, and the starry nights just flash upon your eyes. It is rare for a summer romance to ever achieve more than spilled bottles of wine or scattered empty packs of cigarettes. Summer romances are but for one’s memory.

Summer romances don’t last.

Summer romances are known to end in the blink of an eye as the sun fades. Or as the last star leaves in the morning. They go so easily.

Luckily, this isn’t a summer romance story. Though, we might want to agree, that there was one particular summer that could've been one.

Summer was usually the best time to open your heart. And you had tried to open it. And to your eyes, it could’ve been something more. Yet. Maybe the heartbreak was necessary, and you would know years later that it was all worth it. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

You usually loved summers, it was the perfect time to spend time with your friends, Kat, Harry, Andrew… and Tom.

Friends who will remain friends for more than a summer, who have been friends for even more.

This is the story of memories that were built in misconceptions, of a friend group that fell apart when they needed each other the most. Of a friend group that spoke too much or didn’t speak at all.

One could argue it all started in one particular summer, only with one conversation that led to the chaos that happened years later.

Yet, that summer felt special. The one that had built the most memories that would be ingrained in your heart.

It’s fair to point out now, a summer fling might be easily perceived as a romance. The misconception of the concept often comes as a mistake. You, fair to point out as well, were a victim of misconceptions.

Yet, maybe you had been inspired by your own very friends. Seeing them falling in love with each other had been an inspiration. Harry and Kat. A summer romance that could be presumed to be something else. Something for a lifetime, perchance.

Maybe the secret for a summer romance to last is not to have the romance in summer, but the buildup. What Harry and Kat were doing.

Your own faulty thinking had led you to believe you could experience a summer romance like theirs. It wasn’t even a summer fling.

Yet, it was summer, and nothing more.

Good, however, because summer romances end with it. It wasn’t even a summer romance, yet Tom had ended it with one single sentence.

Harry and Kat were upstairs, in Harry’s room, Tom and you had decided to stay downstairs, while you finished your own cup of tea.

You hadn’t given an answer to the statement that had just shattered your heart minutes ago. You had thanked yourself for not being holding the teacup, for you might have dropped it. But you had dropped his hand, hand you were playing with just as he stated the ending to your fantasy. You felt like you’d never been more at loss to try and make your feelings be what they were not. Though, you were not sure why your heart had shattered. You were meant to smile, even if you were about to cry.

He was your friend. First and foremost. That’s what you were meant to do, support him.

You gripped your teacup as you only waited for an explanation. Not from him, but from your own heart. Why was it aching?

Why was Tom’s statement bothering you? And why had you remained quiet?

It was no secret that his smile caused yours, or that his laughter easily merged with yours. Maybe hearing the sentence he had just said had proven to you how wrong you were, perchance it was only one sided. But Tom was a friend, he’d been your friend for a long, long, long time now.

He only watched you. Expecting you to say anything, anything.

Not every day you hear… a friend saying he has feelings for your best friend. Tom had feelings for Kat. That had come as a big surprise for you, given the summer you had had with him.

“I have feelings for Kat,” he had said. He had dared to say.

Not every day, you hear the person you’d been willing to give up all your dreams for say he is interested on your own best friend. Not after the summer you had had.

Not that it was… interesting enough. Apparently.

How had the conversation led there? Only a few minutes before you had been begging him to play Dreams by The Cranberries that night at Grandma’s, and he had said he would only if you sang it, the song that had defined that summer for you both.

Yet he had stopped your fantasy.

They had been hanging out together, for sure, Kat and Tom. But so had you and Harry. And you and Andrew.

But you and Tom. Maybe you had been foolish for thinking about it.

You were friends, but—

“Oh?” you had finally said, you only took a sip from your tea. You offered him a warm smile trying to erase whatever expression you had before. “Really? You… You… You have feelings for Kat? That’s… new.”

He had feelings for your best friend when you’d been making a fool of yourself for him. This had been your fault. And you weren’t even sure why it was your fault. Why were you feeling this way?

Tom seemed to be confused with your reaction. “Yeah… I… I think we’re really alike.”

You tried not to actually feed on your real emotions. “Right.” You gave him another smile.

He eyed down the teacup. “You always leave lipstick stains everywhere,” he pointed out as your lips were pressed against the cup. “Red here—Red there.“

You bit your lip, and glanced at the teacup. “Yeah,” you were trying not to be hurt about this all. “So,” you kept watching him, more curiously now. “Kat? Hm, makes sense. You’ve been spending a lot of time with her.”

Tom glued his eyes back to yours, “yeah, okay,” he scratched his head. “Yeah, she—she understands me. And I don’t have to—“

“But what about Harry?” You whispered then. Knowing his very best friend would be upstairs with Kat. Being cute or whatever they did when they were alone.

Tom coughed, “Yeah, that’s the issue. But…” Tom raised his own empty cup, letting it hang from his finger. “Do you… I mean, think about it, they are so different, eh?”

“Yeah, well different is good,” you said. “I mean, we are so different, and we get along just fine. We are ...very good friends.” Though there was a hidden meaning behind that sentence.

Tom took a deep breath, avoiding your glance. “But, look, I have... You and Harry, you guys get along well, because you both are so alike, alright?”

“Ew, no, are you suggesting—“

“No, I… I know you and Harry are just friends… and Kat might…” Tom was nervous. “But, in the long run,” he took a deep breath. “I mean—Look, we get along fine but—Those two—“

“Harry’s your best friend,” you stated before he could continue. “Tom—Thomas you know how Harry feels about Kat. And I’m sure Kat… feels the same.”

Harry and Tom were just like you and Kat. Best friends. So it came as a surprise Tom was saying this, letting past the summer you had had with him, with you both smoking from the same cigarette, your head on his shoulder every time you needed to rest it, your lips leaving red marks in his own cups, or sometimes on his cheek. Driving with windows down to talk about anything and nothing. Watching movies to memorize the lines, and memorizing the melody of his smile. Blushing every time he looked into your eyes or brushing your hand against his any time you could.

Watching Kat and Harry fall in love, slowly as they kept sneaking around, clearly trying to make the friendship try and become something else. With Harry stating the obvious and Kat growing past the need of hiding her own sentiments.

Why was Tom standing there saying he liked Kat? When his own very best friend had opened his heart so abruptly to her. Did he dismiss it? Was he so selfish?

And did this summer when you both planned your dreams meant absolutely nothing?

And his best friend. His very best friend was in love with Kat.

Tom sighed. “But what if… I just…” He rubbed his temple. “I dunno.”

You waited for him to keep talking. You needed him to walk you through this. Had he not played songs to you all summer? Or held you tight when the five friends watched a horror movie? Had you not lied to your dad to sneak out at nights with him? Had you not laughed until you ran out of breath? Had you not written so many songs for and about him? Or talked with him about everything and nothing having those talks that seem to go forever?

Did he not know your deepest fears now? And what for?

Had that not… been enough? How blinded had you been for this?

And why did that even matter? You couldn’t care less about him. Or… rather, you only cared for him as a friend. So it made no sense why you were so heartbroken. Why was your chest crushing your heart?

You decided to speak again, “Harry’s asking her out today, Thomas.”

Because although Harry didn’t hide his feelings he had finally earned the courage to try and make it official. Or rather… he finally thought Kat was ready.

“Is that all you’re saying?” He questioned.

Tom and Kat were very similar, they were quiet and reserved. Scared of showing any emotion. Tom loved living in his own world where remorse and melancholy were the only two acceptable emotions. It was hard for him to show anything, and you had accepted that, knowing that he was such a mysterious person. It was fun trying to discover him, as if you were unlocking layers.

With Kat, you had been used to it, already. Your best friend loved pushing her feelings aside. So of course, you had learned not to make them push it.

Perhaps that had led you not to push Tom, knowing he’d—be bothered. And now this was another confirmation as to why, for the first time, you would push your feelings aside.

Harry and you, on the other hand, were loud and sharing. For both of you, life was pink and everything had to be a show. Everything. You both believed in feelings being showcased. Harry and you both often fought for the spotlight.

It was funny, how mirroring Harry and Tom were to you and Kat. And how ironic it was Harry fell for the female version of his best friend.

And how you… would deny everything for the first time.

You shrugged, “what else would I, Thomas? Are you a complete moron? That’s your best friend upstairs and my best friend!”

“Which is why—don’t you think—Kat would be happier with someone like me?” Tom questioned.

You waited for him to elaborate, eyes glued on him.

He cleared his throat. “I—someone who won’t push her to—show her feelings, someone who understands that—Someone who isn’t too much.”

Too much. You swallowed those words. Too much. Tom often said you and Harry were so, so similar. He acknowledged it, too. His best friend and you probably were, that’s why you and Harry got perfectly fine. But too much? What was that supposed to mean? You were too much? Was he trying to say that?

“Aren’t you best friends with Harry? Am I not best friends with Kat?” You pushed. “Kat brings the best in me, and Harry brings the best in you.”

“But it’s a friendship,” Tom said. “What if—Kat gets overwhelmed with Harry? Or what if Harry gets bored of Kat? How bad of a heartbreak would that be for her?”

You only stared at him, once again. Fidgeting with your cup.

“You don’t support this,” Tom said.

“Yeah, um.. you can like whoever you want, there’s nothing wrong in liking someone, I actually encourage you to have some feelings,” you said, with venom. “And I understand why you like Kat, she is very beautiful, she’s got a great personality and you are both very similar. Too similar.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tom said, looking away. Did he feel guilty? “But also,” he continued. “I—Well.”

“You’re a moron, he is your best friend, besides this summer-” you cut off the sentence and shook your head. “Why are you telling me this?” You asked.

Tom Pressed his lips, and took a deep breath. “Because—“Tom shrugged. “I dunno, I trust you, you’re my friend, you—we have gotten closer right? I mean we’ve—I— and you—Maybe you can help me out with Kat.”

You wanted to scream. “Help you out with my best friend who I know who she has feelings for? When that guy happens to be your very best friend? When that guy happens to be upstairs? When that guy happens to be my friend, too? And he likes her back? You’d have to be a proper idiot.”

“I— really like Kat, and Harry, I know him, he probably will do something big, you know? Just to ask her out, and—He makes a big deal of everything-”

“Because he is in love with her!” You stated. “He wants the best for her, and you should know that. Your love language might be non-existent, but Harry’s is…showing affection in big romantic gestures, and that’s the thing, y’know? Yes, he goes big but because he thinks that’s what Kat deserves, and she does!”

“I know she does but—He hasn’t taken the time to know her, and I have—Look, it’s complicated.”

You had crossed your arms upstairs. “Your best friend—“

“I know,” he answered. “But—I—look, this summer—“

“This summer?”

You heard a car honk outside. Andrew, the fifth member to the friend group, often a savior to this kind of situation, was here already. You did not want to speak to Tom right now, he was being selfish and an idiot. Did he not notice how heartbroken you were?

And you didn’t even care about your own heart, if he didn’t… No, if the summer that you had spent meant nothing to him, then there was nothing you could do. Maybe in another life, or in another time, something would’ve gone differently.

Maybe it had never been meant to be at all, and you had built in an idea from an illusion and it was easier to live in your own fantasy.

You avoided him, and went to the door, with your whole body shrinking, your head spinning. How was he so selfish? His own best friend loved Kat. How dare he?

You needed to avoid your own heavy heart hanging from your chest, so broken.

“Y/N,” Tom tried following after you.

You had seen Andrew slam the door after getting out of his step brother’s car, Nicholas. Someone who you didn’t care about at all. But—right now you needed an escape and there was Nicholas, in that old car he drove.

Andrew seemed pissed yet you still decided to approach Nick. Knowing damn well it would piss off Tom.

Andrew gave you a funny look. You decided to kiss Andrew’s cheek before turning to his step brother's car. Wondering if Tom was watching you.

Seemed that your sole goal was to enrage him.

“Hey, thanks for dropping Andrew,” you said as you leaned over to the window.

Nick chuckled. “I was forced to.”,

“I know,” you gave him an apologetic smile. “but still thanks.”

Nicholas had always been of mostly everyone’s interest. Typical blue eyed brown haired boy with pretty features. He was… popular, which meant he was only bothered by his brother and his lack of popularity. Or different popularity he was offered.

Your friend group had never been of interest to become popular, you rather enjoyed being left alone to your own shenanigans. You had more fun than them, that is. You knew, however, that there was some sort of popularity involved in your group, probably because of Harry.

Nicholas watched you, unaware of what exactly were your intentions on approaching him. “Nice to see you—y/n.”

“yeah,” you said carelessly. “You too, Nicholas.”

“You’re the only decent one in his group of friends, huh?” He dedicated a smile to you.

“Y/N,” you heard Tom call.

You ignored him and a very weird thought came to your mind, as you were leaning on the window, maybe you could hop in and escape from Tom, ask Nick to drive you away from the heartache. How dramatic would it be to escape from your heartbreak on a car. “Well, we are not that bad,” you said. “and—Well, the reason why I’m approaching you…” you reminded yourself again. “I don’t know if Andrew told you, my friends—Harry and Tom, they’re playing tonight at my grandma's cafe, they’ve got a band.”

Nick seemed confused about your statement. “ah, and you want me there?”

You smiled warmly. “Yeah, would be cool if you came, I’m inviting everyone, the more the merrier, you can bring your friends… I just want everyone to see them they’re really good.”

“Are they?” Nick rolled his eyes.

You beamed nodding, “Yeah, Tom’s great with the guitar, and Harry’s a really good singer, plus they’re singing a few songs I wrote,” you explained, kindly even if the guy was probably dying to mock you.

“Are you seriously inviting me?” Nick asked. “Don’t you hate me?”

“Yeah, I am inviting you,” you insisted with a smile. “And I don’t hate anybody.”

Maybe Tom. Momentarily.

His sight changed, and his smirk turned into a genuine smile followed by an eye roll. “I—might drop by with some friends then. But, since you invited me, I might need to spend some time with you there.”

“We’ll see, see you.”

You turned on your feet. Tom was staring at you, incredulous. Just as Andrew, who was confused by the matters of it. You ignored them both and walked back into the house.

“Y/N,” Tom called.

“Andrew, darling, would you mind helping me clean up?” You called.

Tom walked to you. “You didn’t seriously just invite Dickolas?” Tom questioned you.

You didn’t bother looking at him. “Yeah, why not?

Andrew scoffed, “You’re really asking?” Andrew hissed.

“Because he’s a dickhead,” Tom snapped.

Tom was probably the one to hate Nick the most, probably because he saw Andrew as his own brother.

“I’m sure he will behave,” you said. “Besides, your band, Thomas, needs to have a younger audience, not a bunch of old farts and your families.” You then remembered your friend. “Does it bother you, Andrew?” You asked.

“Yes,” Tom answered.

“Andrew?” you emphasized.

Andrew took a deep breath. “No, I guess, you’re right.”

Tom watched you. “Whatever. I don’t think he’s coming anyway.”

Andrew stared at Tom. “Please, y/n invited him, of course he’s coming,” he said, annoyed.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked.

Andrew smirked and then glanced at Tom. “It means hurry the fuck up,” he warned him.

Tom flipped Andrew off.

“Where’s Kat and Harry?” Andrew asked.

“Upstairs, being adorable and such,” you said as you took the teacups to the sink.

Tom was still watching you. “You are literally betraying Andrew by inviting Dickolas, that’s being a shitty friend.”

You spun on your feet and made your way to him. “Oh,” you poked him repeatedly, accusingly. “so you do understand the concept of friendship.”

Tom avoided your gaze, “Y/N. That is different.”

“You’re right, your betrayal is worse!” But you were not sure who he was a traitor to.

Andrew frowned. “What betrayal?”

“She’s being overdramatic,” Tom snapped.

You could not believe him. “Am I?” You crossed your arms, but then pushed him away as he was trying to grab your arms to calm down. “You’ve got to be pissing me—You realize you’re being completely stupid—“

“Tom’s always stupid,” Andrew commented.

Maybe you were overreacting. “After all this summer, after—“But then again you had a reason. “You are literally betraying your very best friend—“

Tom grabbed your hand and pulled you close to him as he shushed you, “Hey, sh, sh, please!”

You only glared at him, snatching your hand from him. Did he— really not see all of this?

Andrew stared between you both, confused. “Yeah, I’m not gonna go through this whole mommy and daddy are fighting, I’m gonna go upstairs and interrupt the other two, hope they’re not making out.” He stated before leaving.

Tom frowned and turned to you the second Andrew had left, “so you were willing to spill my secret—“

“Andrew’s your friend.”

“I don’t want him to know,” Tom snapped. He had never snapped at you.

“Why? Because you know he will call you out for being a dick?” And you had never snapped back, and you had never called him that.

Tom was as surprised as you were. “did you—just call me a dick?”

“Yes.” But you would stand by it.

He was puzzled. Probably was confused as to how you’d gone from giggling and blushing while making the tea to—this. “why? You never—“

“because you are one!” You stated. Did he understand what you were feeling? And did he not understand how big of a jerk and a prick he was for dismissing his best friend?

“Yes, well you’re being a bigger dick for inviting Dickolas,” he hissed. “you literally know he has been such an asshole to Andrew lately.”

You avoided his glance. He had never spoken to you that way. “They’ve been getting better.”

They hadn’t .

“They haven’t and you know that,” Tom snarked.

You didn’t answer. Yes, it was wrong. But if you were honest. You already believed Nick was… misunderstood and often pushed around by his mother. Andrew had always agreed with you that his mother was the true enemy. Andrew’s father and Nicholas mother had decided to marry, only a few months back so Andrew was adjusting to the new life with his step brother. That wasn’t going well.

“You shouldn’t have invited him,” Tom pushed.

“But he’s popular,” you said.

“So are you and Harry! And I—I don’t really need anyone else there,” Tom said.

Nana, your grandmother, had given them the chance to play at her café. Probably your second favorite place to hang out after the treehouse.

“You do! Besides, I… This isn’t for you, okay?” You said.

He blinked. “What?”

“I need… My dad told me nobody cared so by inviting more people I am showing him I can-” You sighed.

Tom closed his eyes, “Is this what that’s about? Y/N--You can’t keep”

“My dad thinks Nick is a good person,” you sighed. “He has been working this summer with him and-”

“That's got to be bullshit. He thinks Dickolas is a good person and yet he--doesn’t believe I’m a good influence” Tom questioned.

Well, to be fair, your dad believed Tom to be a bad boy. He wasn’t. He tried to seem like one, with his leather jackets and cigarettes and his band and everything… edgy. Yet, Tom was sweet, or at least he was sweet to you. Your dad believed the guy to only be playing with your heart, which was ironic now, since… Well. He had spent a whole summer with you and ended up liking someone else. Your dad wasn’t fond of him. And you weren’t either, in this particular moment.

You’d grown up with this life ahead of you, this picture perfect future you wanted. A happy family, not like the one you had. You wanted to have what you didn’t, so your dad believed that Tom was ruining that dream for you.

“You’re ruining his perfect daughter,” you rolled your eyes. “You smoke.”

Tom rolled his eyes, “so do you!” He scrunched his nose and rolled his eyes. “And you’re changing the subject. I know you didn’t invite Nick for that.”

Tom probably knew you were doing to piss him off. “You need more people, Tom!”

“Well not Nick!” Tom snapped, again.

“Why not?” You questioned.

“Because it’s Dickolas, y/n, he… he is a dick,” Tom explained.

You looked up with poison, “and you aren’t?” You snapped.

“I mean, they both are,” a third voice came to the room. Kat. “Why would we want to put up with two dicks?”

Your heart stopped as you turned to see your best friend coming into the room. You looked between her and Tom with fear. Tom had gone stiff, too. He swallowed hard, and you were glaring at him. But you needed to go past your own emotions. Kat perfectly knew how to read you and you didn’t want her reading you right now. You needed to hide your heartbreak and anger.

You cleared your throat in an attempt to shift your posture. “Oh, haven’t thought about that, then Tom doesn’t have to come,” you snaked.

Tom scrunched his nose. “it’s literally my band?”

Kat walked over to you, “Maybe so but y/n makes a point, seems like an even trade with them,” she grinned at you.

You smirked, thankful your best friend had taken your side without even thinking about it. “See?” You crossed your arms. “Besides, I really do think that more people seeing you guys would be better, I don’t think a bunch of old farts is a great audience for your wanna be farty band.” You were really just throwing shots at Tom right now, knowing it would hurt him. He did look somehow hurt at you. You avoided his gaze. “Anyway, I need to… go talk to Harry.”

You started to walk away

Tom feared. “about what, exactly?” He clenched his jaw.

You raised your brows, and shrugged before poisoning, looking over your shoulder. “The power of friendship.”

Tom glared.

You yanked.

“Are you two… okay?” Asked Kat, watching between the both of you. Probably sensing the tension.

“No,” you sincered but then dedicated her a smile. “Thanks for asking, see you there my great friend and…” you eyed Tom up and down. “Tom.”

You left but heard Kat ask him. “What the fuck did you say to her?”

You were determined to run upstairs but Kat followed after, so you had to keep on with the facade.

“Wait, Thea, what’s going on?” Kat asked, because you knew no matter how much you tried to hide it from her, Kat would know.

“What? Nothing, he's just being an idiot…” You said, still trying to hide it. “Wait what’s…” You also could read your friend’s expression. Her flushed cheeks, her eyes shining. She probably had the best of news. Had Harry finally told her how he felt? “What happened with Harry? Why are you blushing?” You gushed. “Did you kiss?” you grinned, and for a moment your heartbreak was fone.

“Wait, what? I’m… “ She cleared her throat, and tried to hide the big smile. “No, we didn’t kiss, but…”

You smirked. “But?”

She rolled her eyes, still trying to mask her excitement. “You’re just avoiding whatever happened with Tom.”

You were. “Nothing happened.” Untrue. “But you’re the one avoiding whatever happened with Harry, please!” You pushed her jokingly. “You guys were there for about…an eternity, what happened? You’re smiling like an idiot!” You teased your friend.

“I am not avoiding it, I’m actually happy to share but I’m just concerned for you…”She watched you. “Was I really blushing, though?”

You gave her a cheeky grin. “Well, what happened?”

“I’m expecting to hear about Tom later, but… “ She couldn’t stop smiling. “Harry wrote this new song, and he was playing it for me… he seemed pretty nervous to share, and I guess it… I mean, it seemed to… be about me?”

You screamed, because what else is there to do when your friend tells her her crush wrote a song about her?

A song which you knew the existence of already, might be good to point out now. Harry had told you everything he had planned for Kat, and it was absolutely romantic. After the summer they had had, it was bound to come. Harry was completely mesmerized with her, and you knew Kat had feelings for him too.

Maybe you’d grown too deep into their reality that you confused it with your fantasy with Tom, which apparently was merely that. Your own stupid imagination. But you’d deal with the heartbreak later.

“And? What did you do?” You smiled at her.

“I… I mean, we were close to kissing before Andrew had interrupted…”She dropped the news like it was nothing. “And then on my way out I gave him my lipstick, like he had mentioned in the song.”

You chirped, and tried to hide your giggles. At least she was getting somewhere with this stupid summer. “Shut up, you should’ve bloody kissed him in the moment you twit!” You pushed her jokingly.

Kat’s eyes shined with hope. “I know, and we had been so close!

There was some sort of jealousy growing inside you. Not that you blamed Kat, or Harry. You blamed Tom for making you so foolishly believe anything. But that didn’t matter. Your friend was getting somewhere. And you were so happy for her. You wouldn’t dare to bring down her excitement. “And how do you feel about this? Are you finally admitting it? That you fancy his stupid ass?” You teased her, wiggling your eyebrows at her.

She clenched her jaw with a hidden smirk. “Well I never said that, did I? And I could’ve chosen much worse, like Tom or something.”

Kat didn’t know. There was no possible way for her to know what was going on. But she probably was trying to dig up whatever happened with him. Kat often didn’t have to ask what you felt and she knew. Just one look. This was her way to crack you.

And she did. “Fuck him,” you stated, proudly.

Kat widened her eyes with surprise, but nodded in acceptance. “So you’re cussing now, what happened?”

You cussed only when it was needed. “What happened is that you almost kissed Harry and you’re being stupid and avoiding it. So, what’s up with that?” You were the one avoiding your situation.

But what would you even say? To admit anything would mean finally saying out how how you...felt for Tom, and that would make it real, and then what else? That he liked her? And what would that mean to you? Were you being selfish.

Kat didn’t buy it. “Hmm, sure, that’s all,” she watched skeptically. “But I don’t mean to avoid it, for once, it’s just that Andrew came in. After the show, though, maybe I can get my lipstick back from him, you know?”

You licked your lips. “I’m pretty sure he wanted the lipstick, so then, how about when he gives it back, you use it so he can actually taste it,” you puckered your lips to make fun of her, then proceeded to make annoying kissing noises.

Kat tried to ignore them, rolling her eyes, but you could see she was trying to hold a laugh. “Anyway, I’ll tell you how that goes!” She looked away. “You’re sure you don’t want to ride with Tom and I?”

“I’d rather jump off a cliff,” you stated quickly, without even thinking about it. “No… I’m joking, I… I just need to talk to Harry about one of the songs… But I’ll see you guys there.” You didn’t mean to shut her off but you really didn’t feel okay.

She seemed slightly hurt. “Uhm, yeah, alright.”

“Yeah, and if you get the chance, please break his neck,” you smiled.

She looked you in the eyes, she was worried. How broke did you actually look. But she gave in, “I’d take any excuse to do that, but I do expect an explanation once I’ve done it.”

“It’s nothing, Katherine,” yet it came off slightly rude. You were hurting. “See you in a bit.”

You turned around, more determined. You knew Kat was probably upset. But you kept walking.

You had to stop right outside Harry’s closed door. You took a deep breath as soon as you knew nobody could see you.

To deal with the heartbreak you were denying to have was not simple. To fall in love with someone you’re so different from might be one of the foolish ways to ruin your own heart. It is jumping into the abyss without a parachute just for a view that’ll only last for a few seconds. It’s crossing the street with your eyes closed. Walking into the woods knowing you are going to get lost, never knowing if you’ll ever make it to the clear. It’s ruining yourself a million times. Yet it’s worth it, for some time at least.

But to fall in love with someone who will never love you back. It’s simply stupid.

You swallowed your words, your pride and your hurt. You knew you’d probably end up crying later that night. Hoping it would rain so your tears rhymed to the storm. Your chest hurt, as you tried to breathe in, leaning against the door to gain back your balance. With a hand to your heart, and the other one covering your mouth. You tried not to let it hurt but it simply did.

You’d keep it for yourself and you would never admit it out loud, that you had dared to open your heart just slightly. Why would you ever admit to anyone that you were ruined by him?

You’d get over it, eventually. You’d be happy. Just not today, and that was okay. And you wished he was happy, too. That wasn’t true. You didn’t wish that for him.

You’d resist the temptation to ever cease the wonder if you’d done something wrong, or maybe you just hadn’t been enough even when you’d tried to be the one perfect for him. Vain it had been all your stupid attempts to listen to the music he did, or coming up with little lies to your dad, or hiding that sparkle in your eyes when he walked into the room. Too stupid to think you deserved his love. Too stupid to try and prove you were worthy of his love. He was fire, and skies and wind and that you could be too, if he wanted you to be.

But it didn’t matter now, he liked Kat. Tom avoided showing any feelings, so for him to be stating he liked Kat, it was a big step. You were proud, you guessed. He finally gave in to feelings.

So you had to save your broken heart and put it in a drawer and smile. You cleaned up the single tear that had gone down your cheek and then pinched your cheeks just slightly to get that usual blush on your face. You decided not to knock on the door and simply walk in, as if you hadn’t just been on the verge of tears before.

But he wore jeans and t-shirts, so you’d get over his stupid ass and his stupid guitar. Even if that meant breaking his guitar, you know, for fun… But as an accident. No. You wouldn’t. But it would be fun. To break it like he broke your heart.

“Hey, losers,” you said, seeing as Harry stopped pacing around his room to stare at you. His eyes had a spark, he was blushing.

Fuck, was everyone in love and loved? Well, at least not Tom. He’d be broken hearted because Kat had brain cells and loved Harry.

“What are you doing here?” He questioned. Though he was confused, you noticed it, the bright eyes, the blushed cheeks.

“I’ll ride with you.”

Harry took a deep breath, but then chuckled. “Why did you suddenly decide to stay, princess?” Harry frowned.

“I’d rather drive with you, Tom always plays weird music, and I hate him,” you answered Harry.

Harry watched you, “That makes… two of us but, princess, there’s no need to hate, we all shall love, because love? Is a very splendid thing y/n, why do you think there are so many love songs? Love is like flying, and like-”

“Love sucks,” you snapped, plopping on Harry’s bed beside Andrew. Andrew watched you. “And love songs suck more. Everything is stupid. I hate you all,” you said and then picked up Harry’s pillow to hide your face under it. “No, I mean,” you shook your head, muffled. “Sorry, I’m tired, I… talked to Kat and she seemed to… Love the song.”

Harry giggled. Giggled? Seriously. “Of course she did, everything was going… perfect but then Andrew decided to ruin it. But it’s still perfect, because everything is butterflies and it feels like a summer breeze but princess, you’re ruining it, too! Y/N! You were supposed to distract Kat!”

You were. Harry had asked his best friend and you to keep Kat busy so she wouldn’t suspect whatever he was planning.

But you clearly didn’t want to be with Tom. His presence would wound your own heart and your heart was very delicate. “Yes, uh, Tom will… Tom will take care of that,” you sassed. “Oh yes he will,” you hissed.

Was it wrong? Maybe you should’ve gone. Tom was stupid enough to try something with Kat. But Kat wasn’t stupid. She’d probably throw him off a cliff and you’d be perfectly fine with that. You could push him yourself. Were there any cliffs around?

Harry seemed nervous and he never usually was. “Are-are-you sure? I don’t want Kat suspecting—“

“Suspect? The song gave it away, idiot, you should’ve asked already! Besides, if I spend two minutes more with him I’m going to scream..”

Andrew cleared his throat. “See? Told you.”

You eyed Andrew before hitting him with the pillow, you stood and decided to sit in front of Harry’s keyboard. Writing a song about a heartbreak was the best option, but this wasn’t the time so you just tickled some notes. “But I’m here to help Harry get ready.”

“So you’re staying to help Harry out with his outfit? Is that why you’re staying?” Andrew asked.

“I need to scream, and yell at someone and Harry was my choice,” you admitted to Andrew.

“Fair enough, I think that’s proper, yelling at Harry,” Andrew commented.

“I’m kind of trying to get ready,” Harry stated. “Mind leaving the yelling for another time?”

You stared at the keyboard, knowing damn well that music might be the one savior you needed to get through it, but the lack of courage you were facing right now was only intriguing. You were hurting.

“So, she liked the song.” You grinned instead. Even if you already knew what had happened.

Harry grinned, “Well, of course she did, it was… Fuck, everything is going perfect right now, it’s just all coming together, I’ve got to admit I was kind of... Nervous. But,” Harry smirked, pulling a lipstick from his pocket. “I now have this, and luckily I’ll get to know how it tastes tonight.”

Of course Harry would come up with the same stupid joke as you.

Andrew blinked, confused. “Are you going to put it on?”

“He means he wants to kiss her, idiot,” You cleared out to your friend, and turned to Harry. “So, she seemed to like this straightforward thing.”

Harry smirked, “I was surprised by that, but guess someone in the relationship had to step in. I thought she didn’t… know.”

“I reckon she knows it’s about her,” you admitted.

“I made it pretty obvious, and then she gave me her lipstick and I…we almost kissed.” Harry was swooning.

“Oh, so that’s why she was blushing,” you chuckled. Hearing the whole thing again just made you feel even more lonely. “Splendid, I’m so happy for you both!”

Even when you were against love and romance at the moment, that didn’t mean you weren’t happy for your best friend. And for Harry. Because they made sense. The fact that Tom had completely erased the fact that Harry and Kat were perfect angered you more than the fact he had completely dismissed your own attempts to… get somewhere with him.

How casually cruel, though, you’d been very obvious with your sentiments, and to have Tom walk all over your heart. He was so incredibly selfish.

Harry was all over the moon, you could tell, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. The subtle pink on his cheeks. You didn’t blame him. Kat was spectacular. Very main character vibes. The kind of girl that was not… typical. Kat was caring, and kind. And Kat was probably too curious to learn about Harry, which probably was Harry’s favorite subject to talk about.

Kat was the kind of girl people often took a second glance at, too intriguing. Too mysterious. With a smile that was hard to get but brightened the whole room when it came around. Smart, funny. She was… the whole deal.

Of course Harry was in love with her, and of course Tom would be driven to her, as well. The girl deserved any kind of attention directed her way. You guessed you should’ve seen it coming.

But that didn’t mean Tom wasn’t an idiot and that you’d be completely unreasonable. You had to be. You were broken hearted. He had given you a summer full of illusion just to break it right now. He deserved to be pushed off a cliff.

Harry beamed, as his eyes brightened even more. “I just want to kiss her already,” he commented as he walked to his bathroom, singing loudly to himself.

Andrew approached you, “So, what happened with Tom?”

Another one asking. You were so at a loss at trying to seem alright. “Nothing,” you snapped.

“Y/N, yesterday you were being adorable and shit, you guys were fucking clearly flirting, trying to kiss his bloody cheek just to be petty about his comment on leaving red lips everywhere, and today I come here and you are glaring and yelling? Something had to bloody happen!” Andrew pointed out. “So don’t try to fuckin’ trick me.”

That was the thing. Yesterday you could’ve sworn you were—getting to be friendlier. Maybe something even more, yet today he dropped the stupid bomb.

“Well.” You couldn’t phrase it. “I was not flirting.”

Andrew scoffed.

“He is my friend. We are only friends. And that’s all we'll ever be,” you continued.

Andrew raised his brows. “Oh sure, as friends as Harry and Kat are, Y/N you guys are also—“

“You seem to confuse whatever is going on with Kat and Harry with Tom and I. Harry and Kat—they are, of course, getting somewhere, because they are clearly more than friends,” your tone was cold and serious. “And I’m very happy for them, and I’m sure—It’s something that could last forever, they are clearly meant to be, so I’m happy,” because you were, but your heart still ached. “But that’s them. Tom and I are friends, and only that.” Seemed that the statement was not… necessary, but you needed to hear it yourself. “Though it might have seemed as—“you cleared your throat, because there was nothing else. “As it could be the perfect set up, two pairs of best friends dating two other best friends—it is nothing like that. Someone like Tom and I are meant to be only friends, and at times it seems like even our friendship is—forced. I don’t like Tom as anything else, and Tom doesn’t like me as anything more.”

Andrew seemed skeptical. He kept watching you. Maybe he didn’t sense that you were in fact, not saying it to him, but stating it for yourself, trying to convince yourself of it.

“Don’t push it, don’t try pursuing a fantasy that will never be, and it’s better to get it over now, just so we are clear. Besides, things are not what they seem and whatever happened with him I clearly don’t want to talk about it, alright?” It came out with more poison than planned.

Andrew squinted his eyes. “Well, I hope you talk about it with Kat later because it clearly is bothering you.”

“It is not.”

Andrew only offered you a hug, which you kindly accepted. “And Nick?” Andrew questioned. “Why did you invite Nick?”

“Yeah, why Dickolas?” Harry had walked back into the room, spraying cologne on him.

You shrugged, “He will bring friends. Thought you’d be more excited about having a bigger audience. And,” you waved your hand in front of your face. “Isn’t that too much cologne? You’re supposed to smell good, not kill the audience.”

Harry shrugged, “I’m good with Kat only watching, don’t need a large audience” Harry grinned.

“Ew, romance,” Andrew said and you both mimicked throwing up noises to which Harry ignored.

“And, I need to smell good, princess, I’ll be standing next to fetid Thomas, I shall remind you,” Harry said and wiggled his eyebrow.

You got stiff at his remark, sudden change of subject. “Yeah, right. Especially now that Dickolas is also coming, the place will be infested.”

“Yeah, but not even Dickolas will ruin my night,” Harry stated, still his gaze going everywhere. “I-” He grinned.

“Just an advice,” you said suddenly, remembering how Harry was. “I know you’re going straightforward or whatever,” you nodded. “But, maybe don’t ask Kat out in front of everyone.”

Harry clapped his hands. “No,” he said sheepishly. “I know, I know, I know, I’ve--” He chuckled “I would’ve already sang in front of the whole school, y’know? All rom com-”

“No,” Andrew stepped in. “Or maybe do, so we can see her killing you.”

You laughed at the input. “No, we don’t want that, but really,” you smirked. “I am serious-I know her-”

“Yes, y/n, princess, I know you know Kat, but I’ve also got to learn a lot about her this summer,” Harry rushed in. “And she… She really,” Harry could barely speak, as his smile was impeding him to, as if instead he wanted to only laugh out of embarrassment, the wide grin. The unique and singular joy you feel when you’re in love and loved. “Look, I won’t fuck it up, alright?”

You knew he wouldn’t. Harry and Kat had been flowing nicely, oh so nicely. Though you knew you could be secretly thanked for that, Harry often came for advice, but genuinely, you knew that Harry didn’t need much help, often he only needed reassurance, because Kat could… easily shut off her feelings and you’d need to remind Harry to keep on track.

“I know,” you rolled your eyes. “Now, let’s go, we might be late.”

Harry still had to change his outfit about 4 more times, having also Andrew and you yell at him each time he did. Andrew tried asking about Tom just once more. But you ignored him.

Although now you had decided you’d live vicariously through Harry and Kat’s romance. You had seen him playing with the lipstick she’d given him. You remembered when he initially told you he liked her, although there was no need for it. Harry had been obvious enough about his feelings for her. He would often talk about her as if she was like a spring melody, or as if she was like a nice summer morning, with the sun creeping out just gently to warm him, with the birds chirping in the background.

The way Harry talked about Kat or the way he stared at her would inspire anyone to be in love. It came as a blessing and as a curse. Maybe you had forced yourself into thinking you could have something like that. Love blinds. Especially when you think you are in love, but aren’t.

You had to ignore the heartbreak because it was irrational to have one. Though, Andrew was right, it was bothering you. But nobody had to know about this. Not even Kat, she was being happy with her progress with Harry. You would not impede her happiness.

So you’d have to do what Tom had taught you to, shut down every emotion you had. Push away any possible feeling. And pretend like nothing had happened, forget this whole summer. And never bring it up again, because it would be selfish. So you’d focus on Harry and Kat.

Harry had kept on rambling over the song, and how it had gone. How magical it had been and how he was filled with hope. How a summer romance had been like a sweet melody. From days into nights, the sun cascading every time he was with her. Butterflies, butterflies, butterflies.

When you arrived at the cafe, you had initially ignored Tom, for your own sake. Although you had wanted to speak to him, you couldn’t bring yourself to it. But for everyone else, you were still happy. No one could see the pain you were going through. No one had to know.

Seemed like Kat was busy enough, though. The moment she saw Harry, everything turned into pink butterflies, apparently. As if the sun had suddenly come out after a storm. They way their smiles synchronized warmed your own heart. Even made you smile. Harry and Kat’s hearts were glowing.

You talked to your grandmother, she did notice even though you had tried hiding it.

You were applying lipstick as Tom approached you. You decided to ignore him as you were setting tables, getting the place ready for their… show, if you could call it like that. Tom looked… hurt. Or… just shut down. The exact opposite of Harry. It felt so cold when he approached you.

It made you think of Andrew’s remark. How only the day before maybe you had been flirting. Now you didn’t even want to look him in the eye, to protect yourself.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You didn’t even look up. “Have you finished setting up the guitar?”

“Yeah… yeah,” Tom gulped down his pride and spoke up, “Hey, eh-”

“I hope you didn’t do anything stupid,” you glared at him before he could say anything else. He was taken aback.

“Like what?”

“I dunno, telling her,” you were serious. “She really likes Harry and she just had a great moment with him. They’re both happy Tom and I don’t want you messing up with her happiness. Don’t ruin this for them.”

Tom avoided your glare, he seemed very conflicted. “Yeah, I…” He licked his lips. “I have a talent for messing up.”

You felt guilty, though. You knew you were being selfish. So you swallowed your pride and turned to him. “You can have feelings, they’re valid,” you stated, because even when this was the worst to ever happen to you, you knew Tom. And after all, he was a friend. And accepting he had feelings was probably a huge step. “But sometimes you just have to accept that it can’t be and that some feelings you’ve got to keep it to yourself, love someone from a distance and eventually get over it because you know they won’t be happy with you. Or that it’s not possible to be reciprocated.”

Tom fiddled with a napkin, quietly.

“It sucks,” you shrugged. “Unrequited love is possibly the slowest way to die,” you said to him, he was trying to avoid your glance, and then it was the most Tom he had ever been in a while, hiding whatever he was thinking. “Especially when it involves your best friend's happiness,” you stated.

He only looked up then clenched his jaw, “You’re still angry at me?”

You shrugged. “'I'm not sure if I want to be friends with someone who can easily betray his best friend,” you said with poison.

Tom rolled his eyes. “You’re being-”

“Overdramatic? Maybe,” you said. “But… We will talk about it later, alright? And I really…” You shook your head. “We might as well… Pretend we are okay, alright?”

Tom just stared into your eyes. “Pretend—”

“I don’t want them thinking we had a fight, or anything so I’ll go back to acting like I usually do, alright?”

Tom seemed confused by your statement. “But-”

“So let’s just pretend we are still friends and—” You couldn’t even begin to understand what you were telling him.

“But we are?” Tom frowned.

“Yeah, no I mean… I just don’t want them to...think we had a fight so I’ll start acting normal, okay?” You turned to him with a smile, the fakest smile you could pull. “So, go on stage and good luck, alright?” You pinched his cheek, jokingly.

Tom didn’t move. He frowned. “So you can easily just bullshit this all through?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “We can’t let them know we are not-”

“Well why-”

“Just pretend, Thomas, it’s not that difficult, besides, you said it, we are friends, aren’t we?” You didn’t mean to be rude but it seemed that today it was the only thing you could be.

Tom sighed.

“But I mean it, good luck, you’re gonna kill them,” you placed a hand on his shoulder.

Tom didn’t give you any reaction.

“Come on, now, chop chop!” You clapped your hands. “Go on stage! It’s time,” you grinned, you took his hand and dragged him to the small stage your nana, Andrew, Kat and you had set up for them. Harry and Kat were staring into each other’s eyes or whatever adorable shit they always came up with. Tom gave them a second glance. You saw it. He was hurt.

What the hell were you supposed to do? Support him in his stupid heartbreak when his feelings were so stupidly and arrogantly selfish? Support him when you were broken-hearted yourself?

You had to, because…He was a friend. First and foremost. “No, no, now smile,” you made him look at you. “Go on, good luck, break a leg,” you said before kissing his cheek, leaving your lips tattooed on bright red. Tom was confused by the matters of it but before he could question you, you pushed him up the stage and went to take your seat with Andrew.

Kat joined you shortly after. You only smiled at her. Hoping both Andrew and Kat would buy the con you’d try to pull. To pretend you’re friends with Tom as if he hadn’t broken your heart merely moments ago.

And before you knew it, they had started playing. This had probably not been how you had expected summer to end, not with an ache growing in your chest and your eyes fighting not to cry. But Pandora’s Sign was officially playing for people. Actual people, and that was good enough to forget your heartbreak. For a bit, at least. Tom and Harry had a band that people who weren’t Kat Andrew or you were listening to and it held a promise that would be fulfilled.

Nick had come, he’d brought in some friends as he said he would. He had smiled at you, with a smile that also seemed to hold a promise, but you ignored it.

At least their music had managed to bring the happiness back to the friend group, a happiness that you were sure nothing would be able to break. Even when the music ended, it seemed that the applause had been just eager enough. You even went past the need of ignoring Tom, and for a moment you didn’t pretend and ran to hug him.

Everything was going perfect. Besides, Kat had made the band t-shirts with the logo she’d designed. Pandora holding a hawkshead flower. So delicately designed for them. It was perfect. Picture perfect. And so a picture was taken, to capture the happiness that the five of you never wanted to let go off.

And your heartbreak had been pushed aside, and you’d hugged Andrew, and Tom and Harry and Kat. Knowing that the happiness would preserve. Because you knew that although the summer wasn’t made for romance, maybe it had been for a friendship. And, although the summer was ending, your story was barely beginning.

↳ read Kat’s version here and Tom’s conversation with Kat. (Harry fic)

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

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everything is you: five

A/N: WOOH. FINALS NEXT WEEK AND I’M FREAKING OUT. This update is a little long. I don’t know what happened. Things are picking up too, but I hope you all will enjoy the ride. I’m really excited to share it all with you. I most likely won’t update till the end of next week, but I have a few things planned! Going through my requests and also have a new series planned.

Thank you all for all the amazing comments and support! Love you all! Love you all! <3

everything is you

one : two : three : four

Word count: 9770

Warnings: A smidge of angst, smut

Masterlist tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @carlaangel86 : @woahitslucyylu : @encounterthepast : @enamoured-x : @whyisgmora : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @twistnet : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @sammskellington : @cind-in-real-life : @mheart27 : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @thickemadame : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @gemini0410 : @elcococruz : @samcrobae : @sesamepancakes : @iambabyharry : @blackmissfrizzle : @soamayansfangirl : @1-800-imagines : @phoenixhalliwell : @lady-pswrld : @dazzledamazon : @getyourcrayoncas : @fvckthisbxtchup : @lukealvxz : @scuzmunkie : @nakusaych9 : @danie1432 : @cocotheclown : @soaronmywings : @my-rosegold-soul : @buttercup812 : @itskiranbitch : @angelreyesgirl : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @vicmackeybullshxt : @bigcreatorwombatdreamer : @khyharah : @strawberrywritings : @cherry-icetea : @fuzzy-jellyfish : @losolvidad0s : @brownsugarcoffy : @courtrae89 : @prdsdjarin : @blessedboo : @marvelmaree : @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat

Victor watched as Alena waved their co-workers goodbye as they placed their work on her desk. It wasn’t much this time around, but he saw their boss, Mr. Johnson frowning as well. Their co-workers had thought Mr. Johnson had already left, but in reality, he blacked out his walls and saw what they were doing though they couldn’t see him.

“This is ridiculous, it’s Friday, it’s time for you to go home.” Mr. Johnson had enough just as one of his workers placed files on Alena’s desk.

Victor wanted to do a standing ovation for Mr. Johnson, but he stayed seated, laughing to himself instead.

Ilya, the worker who was placing the files on Alena’s table quickly took it back and sat back down.

“It’s okay Mr. Johnson, I don’t mind helping. It’s just mostly research anyway.” Alena felt bad looking at the embarrassed look on Ilya’s face.

“Alena, I’m giving you a week off. Ilya take the rest of these folders and finish the rest of these paperwork.” There were still a few people lingering around the office, and some of them were glad that Mr. Johnson finally caught people dumping their work to Alena. Though, they were guilty themselves since they haven’t exactly helped her. “You will all be receiving a stern email from me regarding this abuse you’ve put forth on Alena. If this occurs again, you will be immediately terminated.” He looked at Alena who was blushing. “I don’t want to see you here for a week. Samantha can handle your workload.”

“But sir, I have to,” Alena stopped talking when Mr. Johnson held his hand up.

“Alena, please, let me do this for you.” He gave her a warm smile. “Enjoy your time with Cruz, I’m sure he would appreciate it. Please thank him for the drawing he gave me.” Mr. Johnson spoiled Cruz rotten since he had no kids of his own. Cruz always made drawings for him and bless his heart, he would always hang it around his office. “Also, thank Angel for that advice on my Harley, it’s running smoothly.” He even got on well with Angel.

“I will. Thank you.” Alena packed her bag and Mr. Johnson patted her back before returning to his office.

“You know, you could just say no instead of telling Mr. Johnson.” Ilya snapped Alena, upset that he had to do everyone else’s work.

“I didn’t tell him, I didn’t even know he was still here.” Alena argued, hating this confrontation.

“Whatever, must pay off that you suck his dick.”

Alena has heard it before. She knew people spoke behind her back about either her “fake” kindness or how Mr. Johnson was so kind to her since she slept with him. She didn’t let them get to her, you couldn’t change how people thought of you and she wasn’t interested. She was here to do her job and that was that. Of course there were times that it did, but as soon as she had Cruz with her, she was fine.

But hearing these kinds of accusations so blatantly, it was hurtful.

“Excuse me?” Victor stood up making Ilya roll his eyes.

“Oh here’s the other guy. Aren't you married?” Ilya sneered at Alena.

Victor chuckled, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him up. “You keep running your mouth and I may just bite and beat your ass. And I don’t even have to worry about jail time cause we both know the strings I have.” Victor threatened him. “I’m sure Mr. Johnson would love to know how you’ve been leaking insider information to the press about his high profiled case with Mr. Petit. Don’t ever look Alena’s way again, you got it?”

Ilya nodded his head, tail tucked in between his legs. Victor turned to Alena and saw that her eyes were watery. She gave him a weak smile before she continued to pack. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her tears and said a quick goodbye to Mr. Johnson.

Victor quickly packed his stuff and jogged after Alena, holding the elevator. She looked up at him, the tears already streaming from her eyes. She wiped her eyes and gave him a teary smile.

“I’m sorry.” She quickly apologized making Victor frown.

“Why are you apologizing?” Victor settled into the other wise of the elevator not wanting to crowd Alena.

“You didn’t have to defend me. I’ve heard it before.”

“Alena, I wasn’t going to let that asshole talk down on you like that.” Victor reasoned. “You gotta stand up for yourself too. I know you can, you stand up to Angel all the time.”

“He’s not worth it.”

“He doesn’t have to be, but why would you let anyone talk to you in such a way? It’s appalling. Does Angel know that people at the office think you’re sleeping with Mr. Johnson?”

“No, I don’t want to worry Angel. He already hates it that I live in San Diego alone while he’s like an hour and a half away.”

Alena and Angel have been at an impasse after their fight a month ago. Angel has been making an effort to assure her that he was committed to her and Cruz. Though he wasn’t doing anything different. He would try to bring her lunch every once in a while. He would pick her up from work when he would with Cruz coming along. At least the first two weeks after her talk, but she distanced herself since every time Angel would do sweet gestures, he had her falling deeper and deeper, she couldn’t have that.

She could be his wife without being overly affectionate. Just the minimum.

This would make everything hurt less in the long run.

“You want to go have dinner?”

Alena looked at the time and it was only six. For once she was out at a decent time. She contemplated, and figured she had nothing to lose. She was off for a week and she could just text Angel that she was grabbing dinner with Victor.

“Sure, let me just text Angel.”

She shot Angel a quick text about her staying the night in San Diego since Victor wanted to grab dinner. Almost immediately he texted her back.

Angel

No, Cruz is sick, I need you here.

Alena frowned. She called Angel and he didn’t answer.

Angel

He’s sleeping. Can you just please come home? I need you.

“Sorry Victor, I have to take a rain check. Cruz is sick.”

“That’s fine, is he okay?”

“I think so? Angel didn’t give me any details.”

Victor refrained from chuckling. He knew Angel’s game, using Cruz to keep Alena away from him. It could only work for so long.

He hoped Angel was messing around cause he wouldn’t want Cruz to be sick.

Alena drove up the driveway, turning off her car. Before she could even open the door, she heard ‘mommy’. She immediately smiled, opening the door and Cruz greeted her by her seat.

“Hey baby!” Cruz didn’t look sick. She hoped that his nap helped him feel better. “You feeling better?”

Cruz gave her a confused look while Angel took Cruz from Alena.

“Yeah, he’s feeling better.” Angel answered.

Alena grabbed her purse and Angel tried to hold her hand, but she moved her hand away, closing the door. She grabbed Cruz from Angel and handed her purse to him. Walking ahead, she repeated the mantra she’s been repeating in her head.

‘Distance so you don’t get hurt. Distance so you don’t get hurt.’

Angel’s eyebrows furrowed at her, noticing how Alena has been distancing herself from him.

“It better not be motherfucking Victor.” Angel muttered to himself.

Alena was washing the dishes after dinner, Angel sitting at the table watching her. She insisted that he went to stay with Cruz to make sure he was okay, but Angel insisted on drinking his beer in her company. He needed to know why she was putting distance between them.

“You should go on a date.”

Angel almost spat out his beer as he watched Alena’s back while she was washing dishes. “What?”

“Yes, you should. Maybe ask Adelita? Or a coworker of mine that has this crush on you.” She teased him. This was her way of going back to their normal.

Fuck.

What was even normal?

“What the fuck are you doing Alena?” Angel had noticed that ever since their argument a month ago, Alena has been pushing him away. Sleeping in Cruz’s room instead of theirs. She doesn’t sit next to him, she always had Cruz in between them. Every time he offered to bring her food, she texted him a picture of food she already bought. Whenever he told her he was coming to her apartment, she texted him that she was on her way to Santo Padre. Every time he tried to get her alone, she would conveniently get a phone call.

And now, trying to set him up on a date?

She had him fucked up.

“Setting you up on a date? You’ve been single for so long, Cruz is old enough now.” Alena knew their situation was highly ideal, but they couldn’t be in this situation forever. They weren’t together. As long as Cruz was their number one priority, everything would be fine.

“Why would I want to go on a date?”

“Aren’t you tired of just sleeping around? Don’t you want to be in a relationship?”

“Am I missing something? Are you with that motherfucker?”

“What?” She turned off the water, turning to face Angel.

“Victor, are you with him?” Angel’s eyes narrowed at her. “Is that why you’re trying to push me to date someone? So that it would be okay for you to date him?” He chuckled. “Over my dead fucking body.”

“I’m not dating Victor.”

“No, of course not.” He scoffed. “You what? Casually sleep together?”

Angel knew he was unreasonable since there has been no indication they’ve slept together.

“How is it any of your business if I sleep with Victor or not? You sleep with the girl’s at Vicky’s! I don’t know what you do across the border!” Alena bit her lip, never really voicing to Angel her displeasement that he slept with other women. But as she realized that night that Myrna spilled her drink on her, she didn’t have a claim on Angel and she never would. Taking a deep breath, she gave him a small smile. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. It’s none of my business what you do in your life, you can do as you please. You don’t need my permission. I just thought of helping you out is all.” Alena turned around to continue washing dishes.

“What would you do if I want to date you?”

Alena dropped the dish in her hand, thankful that it was Cruz’s plastic Mickey Mouse plate. Angel smirked at her reaction.

“But you don’t, so nothing.” She tried to laugh her nervousness away, keeping her back to him. “So Amy is really nice, she’s around my age. She talks a little too much, but if you can get past that then you should be fine.”

“Alena, I like you.” He wanted to save the other L-word for later, he didn’t want to scare Alena off, so he’ll start with that.

“No you don’t, I’m convenient, believe me you don’t.” Alena didn’t want to face Angel. She didn’t think he would play with her feelings, but this was all out of convenience or gratitude. She’s been a constant in his life and Angel liked that, not her.

But they were getting divorce. He didn’t have to worry about anything else.

“Convenient? Why the fuck would you think that?” Angel hated that Alena wouldn’t turn to face him. He was serious about this.

“Cause it is, look, no harm done. I’m like a constant in your life, I’m Cruz’s mother I get it, but really Amy is a great catch unless you already made a move on Adelita?” Alena didn’t like pushing herself to the side, but she was also realistic. She’s known Angel for years and he’s always said he never had feelings for her, she wasn’t sure what was going on, but if she put her foot down, they didn’t have to be at this weird place.

“Why? Is it hard to believe I have feelings for you?” Angel hates Alena’s lowly thinking of herself. She was a beautiful girl who he would willingly give the world to. Whatever she wanted he would give to her. “I told you Alena, I haven’t been with anyone, not fucking interested either. I’m just interested in you.”

Before Alena could reply, her phone began to ring. She knew that ringtone, it was Victor’s and Angel knew that ringtone as well. Angel picked up her phone, swiping right to answer.

“Hello?”

“Angel!” Alena turned around, but her hands were still wet.

“Listen, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t call my girl. She’s happily taken. I understand why you would think she’s single but she isn’t. She’s the mother of my child and she’s married to me. Please don’t contact her again.” Angel informed Victor, his eyes locked on Alena as she watched him helplessly. “Now, you don’t have to worry about Victor, so how about that date?”

“Angel!” Alena’s cheeks reddened, eyebrows furrowed as she was visibly upset by his antics. “That’s not fair! I don’t meddle in your life, don’t meddle in mine! I actually like Victor. Why can’t I go on dates? I don’t tell you anything about yours.” She was angry. Why couldn’t she be with someone? To see how it would be like?

Those words hit Angel so quickly.

She likes Victor?

“You like Victor?” He whispered the words, as if lowering his tone would make it not real. The realization was making his chest fucking tighten. No, no way, didn’t fucking matter. He had Alena, he has Alena.

“I,” she closed her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe?” She looked at Angel and was surprised how heartbroken he appeared, and she saw that mild anger brimming. “If this is your territorial thing because of Cruz, I would never leave him behind, or you. You two are far too important to me.”

“You fucking serious right now? You think this is because of Cruz? That I think you’re walking away that’s why I’m trying to get you back?” Angel scoffed. “I never lost you Alena and I never will. I don’t know why you’re pulling away, but I’m not going to let you go. I’m serious, I have feelings for you and I want to be with you. You don’t need Victor, you have me.” Angel placed his beer down on the table. He made his way over to Alena, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. Before Alena could react, he kissed her, Alena’s eyes widening. She was going to push him, but fuck did his lips feel good, they always did. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. Before she could even deepen the kiss, Angel pulled away, Alena chasing after him. He wiped his thumb against her bottom lip, chuckling. “Yeah, doesn’t seem like I’m the only one who has feelings here.” Angel walked away leaving Alena hot and heavy.

“Nope, sleeping with Cruz tonight.”

An hour later, after scrolling through her Facebook and other social media sites, she made her way over to Cruz’s room and found him sprawled on his bed, no room for her. She took his ginormous bear, leaning it against his drawer. She sat down on the floor, leaning against the bear and watching Cruz sleep. Alena loved watching Cruz sleep, watching him grow before her eyes has been a delight and she wouldn’t trade it in for the world.

“You’re not sleeping on the floor.”

Alena placed her hand against her mouth, to not let out the shriek that she wanted to let out.

“Angel,” she whispered harshly. “What is the matter with you?”

“I’ve been waiting for you in our room, let’s go.” He was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest.

“No it’s okay, I just want to watch Cruz.”

“Nope, you can spend all your time with him tomorrow, let’s go.” Angel stepped in the room and helped her up, closing the door behind them once they were outside. He brought her to their room.

Alena quickly changed before getting on the bed, placing a pillow between them. Angel watched amused that she was trying to put a pillow in between them. Once she was settled under the covers, Angel threw the pillow on the ground, laughing as Alena let out an annoyed huff.

“Angel, please, I just want to keep boundaries between us so there are no blurred lines.” Alena turned to face him, annoyed by his smugness. “You’re so annoying.” She turned away from him, closing her eyes. She took off her glasses, placing it on the bedside table.

Angel scooted closer to Alena, she could feel his heat radiating on her back. He draped an arm over her stomach. She attempted to push his arm away, but he took her hand, intertwining their fingers on her stomach, pulling her flushed against him.

Placing a kiss on the back of her head, he tightened his hold on her. “Don’t fight it cielo, believe me when I tell you. I have feelings for you, just give me a little bit more time.”

Alena didn’t answer, keeping her eyes closed. Eventually she felt Angel’s breathing even out and she followed close behind him.

Angel felt the weight on his chest and heard the giggle. He cracked open an eye, and saw Cruz beside him.

“Hi daddy.” Cruz waved. “Mommy is drooling.”

Angel looked down at Alena and sure enough, she was draped over him, her leg rested in between his. He felt the wetness against his skin and chuckled. Alena was so cute when she slept. Well, she was always cute, but he really enjoyed watching her sleep.

“It’s too early little man, wanna join mommy and daddy?” Angel moved to the side and let Cruz rest on his other side while Alena remained at the same spot.

“Can I have a little brother or sister for my birthday?”

Angel held back a laugh and just smiled down at his son. “We’ll ask mommy.”

=============

Angel left Cruz and Alena still asleep on his bed. He had a shift at the scrapyard and a run with Hank and Gilly to meet with SAMCRO. He didn’t exactly tell Alena everything he truly felt, but he would tonight. Realizing he loves Alena was a whole different thing. It was terrible that it was Victor who made him realize this, but he knew it was always there. He’s loved her for quite some time, but it was easy to bury with everything going on.

He might sound stupid, but he figured that this whole thing between him and Alena would be understood as some type of relationship. Contrary to popular belief, he hasn’t touched any of the girls at Vicky’s nor has he done anything with Adelita.

Everytime he was close enough to even doing anything, all he could see was Alena and that adorable smile of hers. And the times she would cry, god his heart would clench at how difficult it was to see his cielo cry.

Then he would think of Cruz.

How disappointed Cruz would be if he stepped out on mommy.

He walked in the clubhouse and found EZ with Coco.

“Did you tell her?” Was the first thing Coco asked.

“No. We got into it yesterday cause of Victor.”

“Fuck.” Coco handed EZ a twenty dollar bill.

“The fuck?”

“Prospect and I made a bet that you wouldn’t confess, I said you would do it, but Boy Scout said no.”

“Fuck you both. What is up with you all making bets on me and Alena?” He noticed that Taza handed Bishop a twenty as well, the president lifting his beer to Angel. “What the fuck?”

“Victor came around the other day.” Coco informed him. He had a few run-ins with Victor since he tried to help him find Letty, but Letty ended up coming to him. With Letty coming into his life, he’s been busy. She still lived with Celia, but he was trying to spend more time with her.

“Why?” Angel didn’t like how Victor seemed to be infiltrating all aspects of his life.

“Needed a piece for his Mustang, figured we’d have it here and we did.” Coco offered Angel a cigarette, which he took. “I like him, he’s a pretty knowledgeable guy. And he really likes Alena.” Coco would always be loyal to Angel, that was his brother, his best friend, but his loyalty with Alena almost topped Angel. He still remembered the time she provided him an alibi for Frankie.

And the poor guy believed Alena since he always had a crush on her. She was sweet, innocent, and had a conscience.

After all, why would Alena lie?

Ever since then, Coco saw that Alena wasn’t only loyal to Angel, her loyalty extended to the club. And he couldn’t help it that his protective nature came out with Alena. She was nice, but when you got to her bad side, stand clear. She was patient, understanding, and loved fiercely.

It was always a saying around the club, hell around town.

‘What country did Angel save in a past lifetime that he was able to land Alena?’

It was a running joke that even Angel agreed with the statement. He didn't know who and what he saved in a previous life, but he would never question it.

“And this concerns me why?” Angel sat down at the bar, waiting for EZ to give him a beer.

“You’re not even a little concerned that Victor may sink his claws in Alena.” EZ knew it was awful of him to put ideas in his brother’s head, but they weren’t getting younger. If Angel actually thought keeping this farce was going to keep Alena around, it wasn’t. From what Carla told him, Alena was working on divorcing Angel because that’s what their deal was and time was almost up.

“Not even worried.” Angel scoffed, taking a sip of the beer EZ placed in front of him.

But he was worried.

Victor had been waiting for years and now that their five years were almost up, it seemed like Victor thought it would be the perfect time to make his feelings known. Angel wondered if Valeria was still obsessed with Victor cause if she was, he would gladly point her to his direction. There have been people who had shown interested in Alena before, the last one being Dante, Alena’s douchebag ex-boyfriend who stole almost two thousand dollars from her and had the fucking audacity to to hurt Alena.

=============

Angel watched as Alena’s car pulled up at the scrapyard, which surprised him since it was midnight. Alena had work tomorrow so she was usually in San Diego by Sunday night. She visited him on the weekends to fuck around with him and his brother’s, but that was less frequent lately since Dante became Alena’s boyfriend.

It’s been a long two years and he hoped she fucking broke up with him already.

Angel patted Maxine’s thigh, signalling for her to get off him. She looked back and saw Alena knowing Angel wouldn’t need her service tonight. After all, Angel hardly flirted with other girls in front of Alena. It was sacreligious.

Coco was the one to open the door for Alena and his words was what made Angel rush over to Alena.

“What the fuck?” Coco studied Alena’s face, her glasses were crooked, barely staying on at the bridge of her nose. The left side of her face was starting to swell, a bruise forming.

“What’s going,” Angel’s words died down when his eyes landed on Alena. He didn’t mean to shove Coco, but he pushed him out of the way, cupping Alena’s cheek gently. She was crying and winced when Angel touched her cheek. “Oh fuck no. Did that motherfucker put his hands on you Alena?” Angel didn’t mean to yell at her, but he was infuriated.

“Calm down hermano, you’re scaring her.” Coco warned.

“Hey, I would never hurt you,” his voice softened. “Dime cielo, did he do this?”

Alena nodded her head. She wrapped her arms around Angel, his arms automatically wrapping around her. His right hand still cupped her cheek while his hand rubbed her back.

“I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“No,” Alena uttered out, pulling away from him, shaking her head. “Please don’t. It’s fine, I just got him angry and,”

“Shut the fuck up Alena, don’t even fucking defend him.” Angel had to walk away from Alena, he didn’t want to yell at her. It wasn’t her fault she was fucking pure and forgiving, but this was unforgivable.

“Hey, Lenny, you know Angel is just overprotective.” Coco watched as Riz, Creeper and Gilly made their way over to them. He was overprotective too, but he was trying to keep his cool since Alena didn’t need all of them waging war right now.

“The fuck?” Riz assessed Alena’s face, knowing fully well who the fuck did this to her. “Is this the first time?”

Alena nodded her head. She didn’t like that they all came to her. She loved the guys, trusted them with her life, but she really just wanted Angel right now. Coco noticed that Alena’s eyes kept drifting over to Angel who was off to the side, trying to cool off.

Coco made his way over to Angel and pulled him further to the side so that no one could hear them.

“Listen, I get it, you’re pissed, and you want to kill the motherfucker, we all do. But Alena needs you right now. She doesn’t need you being pissy, she needs you to be there for her. We’ll fucking handle Dante another night, let him rest easy so when we fuck that fucker up, he won’t see it coming.”

Angel took a deep breath and nodded his head. He made his way back over to Alena, who was being occupied by Creeper’s lame attempts to try and cheer her up. She slightly smiled, but Angel knew it was due to her trying to be nice.

“I’m going to take her home.” He informed them, the hint obviously taken.

The boys gave her a hug before Angel led her to the front passenger seat. When she was inside, he closed the door. He made his way over to Coco, before sliding in the driver’s seat.

“Find that motherfucker, make sure he doesn’t leave town.”

Coco nodded his head and watched Angel and Alena leave. Angel looked over at Alena who was just looking straight ahead in a daze.

“Baby, can I hold your hand?” Angel asked.

She nodded her head, briefly looking at him. Angel reached over and held her hand, placing it on his thigh.

“You want to go home?”

She shook her head.

“My place?”

She nodded her head.

Angel frowned, not liking the fact that she wasn’t talking. Alena tended to lose herself in her mind. She could be cruel to herself and would most likely reasoned she fucking deserved it like those poor women who chose to stay with their partners. But he was going to make sure she wasn’t one of them, Dante saw the last of Alena tonight, that was for sure.

If he had to bury him six feet under, he fucking would.

He pulled up to his place, parking at his spot. Waiting for her in front of her car, Alena stayed in the car for a moment, which he took as an opportunity to smoke. When she came out, he held out his hand, which she took. They made their way to his apartment, Angel unlocking it for her.

Leading her to his bedroom, he turned to her. “You want clothes?”

Alena nodded her head. Angel went to her drawer that held all of her clothes in case she slept over. He handed her one of his shirts and one of her shorts. Alena changed in the bathroom quickly before coming out and joined Angel. He’s on the bed, his back against the wall of his bedroom.

“Can we get my cell phone? I should text Dante.” She fiddled with the edge of the shirt, looking at the floor.

“Excuse me? Text Dante?” Angel gave her an incredulous look, unsure if he heard her correctly. “Alena, you’re not talking to Dante.”

“Angel, I just, I just want to let him know I’m safe.”

“Alena, you’re not fucking talking to Dante, your relationship is done. He hit you!” She flinched, causing Angel to let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream at you. Cielo, please, just come lay with me.”

“I have to get my cell phone.” Alena insisted.

“What happened Alena?”

“What?”

“What happened?”

Alena sat at the edge of the bed facing Angel, she bent one of her legs while the other hung at the edge of the bed. “I found out he stole money from me, so I confronted him and he slapped me.” Angel could tell Alena was becoming emotional, uncomfortable with what she was sharing. “He got on top of me and he punched me.” The tears came out then, Angel’s heart broke and his anger soared. He could not believe this motherfucker cowardly hurt his Alena. Angel never felt this type of anger before, except for the time that his mother was killed. A random act they said, he scoffed at that. He always thought about all the ways he wanted to kill his mother’s killer. Since he would never get the chance to do so, he would take it out on Dante for hurting Alena.

Her sob broke him out of his thoughts, Angel immediately crawling over to Alena. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards the middle of the bed so they could lay down. As soon as he was on his back, he pulled Alena to his chest, letting her cry on him. One arm was wrapped around her while the other hand held her hand.

He’s killed people before out of obligation to the club.

But this was the first kill he would thoroughly enjoy.

=============

He didn’t kill Dante.

Man did he fucking want to.

Alena’s cheek was bruised for a week, it fucking upset Angel. Every time he looked at her face then, it taunted him that he wasn’t able to protect her. Never fucking again. He would always protect her from everyone and everything.

Alena begged him to spare Dante, but he warned Dante, clear as day so there were no confusions.

“You ever come near her, breathe the same air as her, or even contact her, I’m going to fucking shoot you.”

Dante returned her money with interest and it was the last she ever saw of Dante.

“But you should be.” Coco’s reply got Angel’s attention. “Victor isn’t like Dante. He’s an actual decent guy who really likes Alena. He came here to get into our good graces cause he knew that our opinion would be important to her.”

Angel downed his beer, standing up since he still had a shift at the scrapyard.

“Well, he’s wasting his time.”

“If you make a move maybe, but otherwise Alena is fair game.”

“Alena isn’t fucking fair game, she’s my wife. If she even bring those fucking papers to me, I wouldn’t sign it.” Angel scoffed.

He was never signing those papers.

Over his dead body.

=============

Angel unlocked the front door, and found Alena waiting for him. But she was asleep on the couch. Today, there was no shit with the rebels, just regular club shit and Angel was honestly thankful for that. He wanted to help their cause, but he was tiring himself out, especially after the fight with Alena. He hated fucking fighting with her because half the time, all he wanted to do was keep kissing her till she wasn’t angry at him anymore. Every night he came home and she was there, he wanted to hold her and not worry about whether or not she would let him hold her at night.

Now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know if Alena felt the same way for him. But he was willing to take the risk with her and put his feelings out there.

Angel was never good with his feelings. He was good at burying shit since that’s what he always did. The resentment he had for EZ, the disconnect he felt with his father, the feeling of inadequacy due to his parents favoring EZ, burying his true feelings were his forte. He knew EZ didn’t mean to be the golden child, didn’t mean to have both of their parents dotting on him, but it happened. Whenever he would try to talk to his father like EZ did, he never could do it, there was always a wall and instead of trying to break it down, they both just let it stay, becoming higher and higher.

But he couldn’t do that with Alena.

He wasted enough time with Alena.

Walking over to her, he smiled down at her, squatting down beside her. Her back was to him, her phone resting beside her and glasses still on her face. The last text message he received from her was a picture of her and Cruz with soap suds on top of their heads as they took a bubble bath.

It was his new wallpaper.

Alena loved taking pictures with Cruz. Whenever they had an adventure without him, he was sent numerous pictures. Alena never really knew it, but Angel’s background picture to this day was a picture they all took together during Cruz’s second birthday, the first birthday they all spent together. Cruz has his birthday cake in front of him with Alena and Angel on either side of him, the smiles on their faces was what Angel loved best. He clicked the button on the side and found a picture of him and Cruz sleeping. It made his heart flutter knowing that was her phone background.

Alena began to turn, slightly startling Angel. She moved around often when she slept, which was why Angel didn’t like it when she slept on the couch. She was just like Cruz, they moved too damn much while they were sleeping.

He watched as Alena moved towards the edge, falling into his arms. Chuckling, he picked her up bridal style, Alena snuggling into his chest. He quickly checked on Cruz, who was sound asleep, before making his way over to their bedroom. He placed Alena on her side of the bed, tucking her in. Placing a kiss on her forehead, his eyes closed, relishing the feel of her skin against his lips.

God he sounded pathetic.

But he truly loved Alena.

Pulling away, he took off her glasses and placed it on her bedside drawer along with her glasses. He took a quick shower before joining Alena in bed. Turning the television on, he lowered the volume and picked some random channel just in case Alena woke up in the middle of the night. He knew how much she hated the dark and preferred the night light of the television along with the noise it provided.

Turning to face Alena, he placed his hand on top of her hand that was resting at the space between them.

“I love you Alena, I know I can be slow, but I hope I’m not too late. I hope you haven’t given Victor space in your heart. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you cielo.”

Alena stirred, turning to her side and faced Angel. She snuggled onto her pillow, smiling. He felt her fingers intertwine with his. She scrunched her face before opening her eyes. She looked down at their hands then back up to him.

“You okay cielo?” Angel questioned as he watched Alena look at their hands again.

“Your hand looks so big compared to mine.” She commented. Looking up at him again, she smiled. Alena moved towards him, wrapping her arms around him, laying her head against his chest. Angel adjusted by laying on his back. She was very cuddly when she was sleepy or drunk.

Angel didn’t mind, he loved holding her. She propped herself up with her elbow, a hand on his stomach. Moving up, she pressed her lips against his, Angel immediately reacting. After last night, Angel didn’t think Alena would be kissing him. He felt her hand slip under his boxers, wrapping her arms around his already semi-erect cock. Alena started moving her hand up and down, tightening it around his cock.

Angel groaned, slightly pulling away from her, his lips against her.

“Fuck cielo,” he kissed her again, his hand slipping under her shirt, but Alena stopped him shaking her head. She kneeled beside him, her thumb brushing against the tip of his cock, making Angel close his eyes. “Baby, let me touch you.”

“No, this is about you.” Alena removed her hand, moving to kneel in between his legs. She took a hold of his boxers and pulled them down with Angel’s hell. She licked her lips, her hands holding onto Angel’s thighs, pushing them down.

“You want daddy’s cock baby? Go ahead and take it.” He sat up, waiting for Alena’s next move. She’s always been shy when it came to oral sex, unsure of what to do, but if he was being honest anytbing she did could get him off. He thought Alena everything she knew about blowjobs and he was honestly quite fucking proud of it.

Alena took him in her mouth, shallowly at first before deep throating him, making Angel moan out her name. He wrapped his hand around her hair, watching as Alena took him in. She let go of him with a pop, dipping her tongue into the slit of his cock. Her hand wrapped around his cock again, moving it up and down smoothly as it was like lubricated with her mouth.

“Alena, you’re gonna fucking kill me. I thought you didn’t want to be intimate.” He couldn’t help but tease her, he knew Alena would give in.

“I don’t, but I figured I would show you the new trick Victor taught me.”

Angel jolted awake, breathing hard. He looked down and found Alena sleeping against him, her face against his pillow, her leg wrapped around him.

“Fuck it was just a dream.” But he was hard now. And dream Alena had him fucked up. Real Alena has to take the blow of that comment. “Cielo, wake up.” He cupped her face, softly caressing her cheeks.

“Hmm,” Alena’s eyes remained closed but she acknowledged him.

“Wake up.”

“Mmhmm.”

Angel chuckled. He remembered that Cruz did want a brother or sister for his birthday. What better way to start than to practice? Angel pressed his lips against her, waiting for a reaction. Alena gasped, allowing Angel to slip his tongue into her mouth. He pushed her to lay on her back, his hand pinning her hand to her pillow. He pulled away to let her breath. His forehead against her, he opened his eyes to find Alena’s with her eyes close, lips parted.

“Is this a dream?”

Her question made him laugh.

“You dream about me kissing you, cielo?” His hand that had her hand pinned moved down her body, stopping on her breast to give it a light squeeze. Her eyes opened then.

“I always dream about you.” She realized her mistake and wished she could take it back.

“What do you dream about?” He pulled away from her, watching as the blush on her cheeks appeared. “Come on cielo, dime.”

Alena was watching Angel’s hand as it hovered over the top of her shorts. She was debating if she wanted to stop him, to enforce her rule of no intimacy. But much like Angel she had needs, there was just so much her vibrator could do for her. At the same time, she wanted to keep that boundary, to assure they didn’t cross the line any further.

But what line?

She just heard Angel say it in her head.

This man was driving her nuts.

“Everything.” She whispered as she locked eyes with Angel.

“Do you dream of us together?”

Alena nodded her head, her eyes drifting back to his hand when she felt him pull against her shorts and underwear. She wanted to fight him, she really did, but one month was a feat. Pretty soon, she wouldn’t be able to enjoy Angel’s company. Why not just indulge while she still did?

“I always dream about you cielo, you plague my mind.” He kissed her cheek, his beard rubbing against her skin.

“Do you dream of me fucking you?” He whispered in her ear as his finger ran up and down her folds. “Do you dream of me fingering you as you beg me to let you come?”

“Yes,” Alena rasped out.

“I can make your dreams come true cielo, whatever you want I’ll give to you.” Angel nipped at her ear, his finger circling her entrance. “You want daddy to fuck you baby, let me have my way with you? No more ban?”

Alena shook her head.

“Use your voice.”

“No more ban daddy.”

Angel smirked against her ear. “That’s right, you’re not gonna deny daddy his pussy anymore, cause I know you missed daddy’s cock.” Angel plunged a finger in, groaning along with Alena at her tightness. “I’m gonna stretch this pussy out like I always do.”

He eased in another finger, Alena looking down at his fingers, but she couldn’t even see well, which added to the sensation.

“You want me to get your glasses?”

Alena shook her head. “No daddy.”

Angel removed his fingers, causing Alena to pout. He instructed her to move forward so he could sit behind her. He took her glasses and handed it over to her. Alena took it, Angel wrapped an arm around her middle.

“Move forward.” He instructed.

Alena scooted forward. Angel got off the bed and placed Alena’s full length standalone mirror at the edge of their bed. He settled back behind her, smirking at her through the mirror.

“You’re gonna watch me fuck you so that you never deny daddy again.” Angel knew Alena was shy when it came to this type of thing, but he tried to push her out of her comfort zone every once in a while. “Is this okay baby girl?”

These were the last few months, why not experiment?

“Yes daddy.”

Angel groaned. He spread her legs, placing it on top of his. “Look at that baby, spread your lips for me.” Angel watched as Alena spread her folds, making Angel groan. “Slip a finger inside.”

Alena looked at Angel through the mirror and shook her head. He pressed against her, kissing and suck on her neck. “Come on cielo, I wanna see what you do while I’m on a run.” Every once in a while, Alena and Angel has phone sex when he was on a run. It was rare, but if it was a long period of time, he’s usually able to convince Alena.

“I use my vibrator you know this.” A vibrator that Angel has never seen. He always wondered where she hid it.

“Where is it?”

Her eyes widened at his question and shook her head. “No, can we just use your fingers?”

“Come on, where is it? Daddy wants to play with his baby girl.”

Alena was hesitant. It’s not that she didn’t trust Angel, she just didn’t expect to ever use it with him.

“My side of the closet in my t-shirt drawer.”

Angel hurriedly grabbed it and took it out of the box. He got lube from the drawer that he knew Alena kept their shit together. He went back to his original position behind her, spreading the lube on her purple vibrator. Turning it on, Angel chuckled, causing chills to travel up and down her spine.

“Oh this is going to be fun.” Angel rubbed it on her folds, the sensation making Alena shift in her seat, but she didn’t let out a sound. “You know I love hearing you.”

Angel slipped it inside her folds, immediately placing it against her clit. Alena leaned her head back, biting her lips, she couldn’t even look at Angel doing this, it was lewd, but erotic as hell.

“Open your eyes Alena.”

She did as she was told, looking at the mirror as Angel rubbed the vibrator on her clit. Alena’s breathing increased as Angel slipped two fingers inside her again, a whimper escaping her lips.

“Oh my god,” she tried her best to keep her eyes open, watching as Angel slid his fingers in and out, her vibrator buzzing happily against her clit. The familiar feeling at the pit of her stomach came, her walls clenching his fingers.

“You’re such a good girl, but daddy shouldn’t let you cum for denying him.” Angel removed his fingers and her vibrator. Alena groaned, shaking her head.

“I’m sorry daddy, please let me cum.” She pouted and Angel just groaned. Alena played dirty and he had to applaud her for that.

Angel went back to what he was doing and instead of pulling away, he let Alena cum. The wet noises that filled the room due to her wetness made Angel harder. Momentarily, he turned the vibrator off and put it down. He took off his boxers and settled behind Alena again, his erection rubbing against her back.

“I’m buying you a variety of this shit.” Angel informed Alena, making her laugh as she leaned against him. “You ready for watch me fuck you?”

“Yes daddy, I’m so fucking ready.”

“You missed daddy’s cock, huh?”

“Yes.”

Angel lifted her up, her knees on either side of his legs. Angel was sitting up, watching as Alena watched his cock disappear inside of her, her back arching when she was buried. That burn was something Alena missed and she moaned, loving that feel.

“Stay like this.” Angel turned on the vibrator again.

“Angel, no, don’t do that.” She’s never tried using her vibrator while she had anything bigger than a finger inside of her. She knew it would be too much, but the idea intrigued her.

While she was fully seated on his cock, Angel placed the vibrator against her clit, Alena groaning out his name. Her hands were on his thigh, raking her nails against his skin making him hiss. Looking at the mirror, he watched as Alena bit her lip, grinding down on him as the vibrator brought her close to an orgasm once more. The stimulation was becoming too much for Alena.

“Open your eyes cielo, watch yourself come undone.” Angel was fucking loving this. Before Alena could come, he removed the vibrator, causing her to whimper. “Ride daddy’s dick like a good girl.”

Alena straightened her back, moving up and down Angel’s length. She took off her shirt, Angel smirking as she did. He watched as his cock disappeared inside of her, stretching her. He loved this sight and was annoyed he’s never tried it before. He leaned back on his forearms, biting his lips as he watched her in the mirror.

“That’s right baby, just like that.” He encouraged her. Alena tried to keep going the same pace. She had her weight on her hands that was resting on Angel’s thighs. She bounced up and down his cock, Angel noticing the cream coating his cock. “Fuck baby, we might have to fuck in front of the mirror every time we do this.”

Alena whined, her rhythm slowing down. She wanted to get herself off, but she couldn’t do it. Angel noticed and sat up and picked up the vibrator. He turned it on and it was back at her clit again.

“Daddy, fuck, that feels so good.” Angel thrusted you into her, his pace was fast and unrelenting, with the added stimulation of the vibrator and how close she was earlier, Alena came almost immediately. She put her weight on her forearms, resting, catching her breath.

“Maybe we do need your inhaler.”

Alena laughed. “Shut up.”

He changed her position, Alena on her back the mirror in front of her as Angel kneeled in between her legs. He was never into toys, but fucking seeing Alena come undone the way she did, the way her face had unadultered bliss written all over it, he was investing in them. Maybe ones he could control to drive Alena crazy.

All of Alena’s sexual encounters were with him. He didn’t want to hear about any other motherfucker cause all that mattered was him.

He was always down to experiment with Alena. He loved teaching her new things.

Alena heard her vibrator turned on and she tried to close her legs, but Angel was right between them.

“Just give me a minute,” she held on Angel’s hand that held her vibrator. “I regret showing it to you.”

Angel chuckled. “We won’t always use it cause we both know daddy can make you cum without it.” He took the hand that was holding on to his, placing a kiss at the inside of her wrist. Turning off the toy, placed it on the bed. He slipped inside, she was still so tight, but it was much easier due to how wet she was. Resting his weight on his forearms, he hovered over her, kissing Alena. He was always addicted to her lips. It was crazy that what bothered him most when it came to Alena and other men were her kissing them. The sexual intimacy obviously did as well, but kissing meant more to him for some odd reason.

His mouth traveled down to her neck, marking her as he did. He pinned her hands to her side, looking at the mirror when Alena arched her back. She looked up, noticing how dark Angel’s eyes appeared. Watching him place kisses all over her body, suckling on her nipple, it turned Alena on even further.

Angel held eye contact through the mirror. She watched as he licked his fingers and rubbed her clit.

“Angel,” she breathed out his name needily.

“Yeah baby, I got you.” Angel was close as well, watching Alena get home got him off all the time. She was just so wet, right and warm. She clenched around him again, tears coming down her eyes due to the overstimulation Angel had been providing. “Look at my baby girl crying. I just want to make you feel good, do you feel good?”

“Yes.”

“You want me?”

“Always.”

“You never gonna ban me from my pussy again, right?” He slowed his pace, wanting Alena to suffer a little more.

“Angel,” she groaned, hating that he stopped again.

Angel chuckled. “Answer me.”

“Never again.”

Angel increased his pace, the rubbing on her clit. Alena was a moaning mess, her vision fading to black, scratching at Angel’s back. Angel groaned at the crook of her neck, halting his movements as he was buried deep inside her. Alena could feel Angel pulsing inside of her, her walls clenching around him. He did a few more thrusts, kissing Alena as he did. She took a deep breath and laughed as Angel looked down at her. The afterglow of her orgasm was always so beautiful to him.

He did that to her.

He made her feel that way and that was such an accomplishment.

Anything he did for Alena made him proud.

She was the love of his life.

Pulling out of her, Alena immediately closed her legs. Angel chuckled, trying to pry them open.

“Stop,” she pushed at him as she sat up.

Angel kissed her again. “Cruz asked for a baby brother or sister.”

“Did he now?” Alena laughed moving away from Angel so she could stand up. “When did he ask that?”

“Yesterday morning before he got in bed with us.” Angel moved to sit at the edge of the bed. “He wants one for his birthday.” He pulled her to him, resting his hands on her hips. He kissed her stomach, making Alena giggle.

Running her fingers through his hair, she didn’t know what to reply. Maybe she and Angel could continue as friends with benefits after they divorced and raise two kids together.

Fuck.

She gave up so much for Angel.

She wanted a family, to be actually in a loving marriage, not with someone who was always so hot and cold with her. Angel always protected her and took care of her, but she knew it was out of gratitude. For some reason, he decided he had feelings for her, even though a month ago he stated he didn’t.

She was done being confused.

He was just going to take it back anyway.

“Let’s get him a puppy, go from there.”

Angel gave her an odd look. “Let’s take a shower.”

=============

The next morning, Angel woke up before Alena, which surprised him. He turned to face her and she was still slightly snoring. He chuckled, getting up to check on Cruz. He found Cruz just getting up as well.

“Daddy,” he let out a yawn. “Can we make pancakes?”

“Let’s make mommy breakfast in bed?” Angel suggested.

“Yes!” Cruz jumped off his bed, running over to Angel.

The father and son duo made breakfast, singing along to a few songs that Cruz had on the playlist Angel made for him. Once they were done, Cruz held the coffee they made for Alena in his hand, carefully walking to assure he didn’t spill mommy’s coffee. Angel placed the tray on the computer table Alena had in their room.

“Shall we wake up mommy?” He took the coffee from Cruz, placing it on the table as well.

Cruz nodded his head excitedly. Angel placed him on the bed, Cruz crawled towards Alena. He softly shook Alena, calling for her.

“Mommy, mommy,” Cruz shook Alena.

Alena sat up, looking at Cruz and then Angel. She let out a sigh, and looked at her watch.

“Sorry, I thought I had work and I was late.” Alena laughed. “I dreamt I was late for work.” Turning to Cruz, she took him and placed him on her lap. “Hi Cruzie, did you have a good sleep?”

“Yes I did mommy.” Cruz gave her a kiss on the lips. “Daddy’s turn.”

Alena turned to Angel who was already puckered up right beside her face. She laughed and gave him a quick peck.

“That was a lame kiss cielo.” Angel teased her before taking the tray and placing it in front of her. “Cruzito and I made you pancakes.”

“Wow, what did you two do?” Alena playfully narrowed her eyes at them.

Angel and Cruz had the same innocent look, holding their hands up. “Nothing.” They said in unison. “We love you.”

Alena laughed, giving Cruz a kiss on the cheek. “This is a lot, we’re all eating this right?”

“Of course mommy, sharing is caring.”

Alena nodded her head in agreement. She looked up at Angel who hasn’t said much to her. She cut the pancakes for Cruz and he immediately started eating, the cartoons on the television capturing his attention as he shoved pancakes in his mouth.

“Did you bring me to the bed?” Alena questioned. Even though they had sex, she was far too aroused to ask him last night.

“Yeah, you know I don’t like it when you sleep on the couch, you move too much. We don’t want a repeat of the incident.” Angel reminded her.

One time, Alena fell asleep on the couch, fell and sustained an injury on her head. After that, Angel advised her to just sleep on their bed, it was the reason he bought it. The few times Alena did sleep on the couch, she was usually laying on Angel, with his arms around her.

“I know, sorry, I was waiting for you to come home.” Alena took a piece of the pancake and ate some. “Yum, glad it’s not burned.”

“Told you I could cook cielo.” He winked at her.

“Mr. Johnson gave me the week off, but I have a few errands to run in San Diego, I’ll drive back tomorrow morning and should be back by Wednesday.” Alena didn’t want to tell Angel that Victor invited her to an art gallery. It was innocent, but Angel had the tendency to overreact. She was allowed to have friends.

“Sounds good, you want us to go with?” Angel poured some syrup on his plate since Alena didn’t go overboard with syrup like he did.

“No, it’s fine, but I can take Cruz with me. Give you some time off.” Alena offered. She could take Cruz with her and Victor at the art gallery.

“I’d prefer if you and Cruz stayed with me, I don’t need time off. Do you have to stay in San Diego to do the errands?” Angel hated it when Alena suggested for them to spend time apart. What was the point of that? He always wanted to be near her and Cruz.

“Yeah, I just need to do a few things at the apartment.” Alena didn’t like lying to Angel, but she technically wasn’t. She did have a few things to do at the apartment. This wasn’t cheating, she was hanging around with a friend who liked her and well for her, she didn’t know how she felt about Victor. He was sweet, funny, good looking, and kind, but she was married.

“Maybe if Cruz stays here you can get it done faster?” Angel was selfish with Alena. If she had the week off, he wanted her to stay in Santo Padre and be with him and Cruz. Besides, if she was in San Diego, more of a chance for her to see Victor.

“Angel, it’s just two days.”

“Alright, but just leave Cruz here, I got him. Maybe ask Carla to go to the spa I got you a gift card for.” Angel suggested.

“You know what, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.” She agreed.

Alena needed some time to herself. It was nice to get a break from work. And maybe Carla could help her sort out her feelings.

Her growing feelings for Victor.

#angel reyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angelreyes #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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umbry-fic · 3 years

Text

A Palette Full of You (1)

Summary: Glimpses into Colette and Lloyd's lives as they grow up together, learn who they are, and fall in love with each other.

(Written for Colloyd Week 2021)

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel, Anna Irving, Kratos Aurion Relationships: Colette Brunel & Lloyd Irving, Colette Brunel/Lloyd Irving Rating: G Chapter: 1 of 6 Word Count: 6218 Mirror Link: AO3 Original Post Date: 09/06/2021

Chapter Title: Castle Invaders!!

Chapter Summary: Colette and Lloyd enjoy a sunny day at the beach as children. A sandcastle is made, but does it continue to stand for long?

(Colloyd Week Day 1: Childhood Friends)

Notes: 1st chapter of my multi-chapter Colloyd week 2021 fic, featuring my headcanon of asexual Colette. It's also a modern AU set in Singapore.

Chapter list Full fic Next chapter

~~~

8-years-old

"Lloyd! The water's here!" Colette called out, setting down the heavy bucket filled with water next to Lloyd. Mission accomplished, and without a single hitch! Mostly. She wasn't going to mention how she nearly spilt all of the water when another girl's arm missed her by a hair's width. Or how her heart was still pounding from the close call. "We can get started with the sandcastle now." Lloyd was so occupied pushing sand into one giant pile that he hadn't even noticed her approach.

Having finally gotten his attention, Lloyd stared at her blankly for a few seconds before seeming to come to his senses. Scrambling to his feet, he began to shovel the pile of sand into the bucket. Overhead, a seagull's cry rent the air, barely audible over the screaming of all the children and adults on the beach that was packed to the brim, the two vastly different in tone. "Thanks, Colette! We might need another bucket of water, though. I don't think this is enough."

"Oh, I can -"

"Nah, I'll get the next one. It would only be fair!" Lloyd grinned a toothy smile at her, prominently displaying the gap from the baby tooth that had merrily vacated his mouth last week. She herself currently had a loose tooth that she absent-mindedly pushed at with her tongue, until she pushed too hard and caused a slight stab of pain. It would likely fall out soon.

"Come on, then! This sandcastle won't build itself alone!" Lloyd said, grabbing her hand with his, rough with the individual granules of sand sticking to it.

Colette giggled and joined him, attempting to lift some of the wet sand from the bucket to start making the base of their castle - only to find that the sand seemed to have solidified into one giant clump that refused to budge from its snug home. Every attempt to separate a tiny handful yielded a sucking sound that seemed to make the sand stick together even more, ever more determined to stay with their granular siblings. With a final huff, she put all her strength behind her arms - only to flop back down onto the beach with nothing in her hands.

"That's - hard!" Lloyd grunted, faced with a similar predicament and having no choice but to give up. The sand would remain in the bucket for the foreseeable future, it seemed. He wiped his hands on his red swimming trunks before offering it to Colette, helping her back up.

"Didn't think the sand would stick together this much," Colette muttered. This was why her father had advised them not to use a bucket, huh? She stole a glance towards the collection of colourful beach umbrellas that was close by, where their parents were taking shelter from the sun. They were sitting on the same striped picnic blanket where breakfast had occurred earlier, having a relaxed conversation over cans of lemonade while keeping a watchful eye on the two of them. Noishe was there too, taking a morning nap by the blanket.

Spotting Colette, her father waved cheerily, before taking another chug from his can.

She and Lloyd had been so excited to finally visit the beach during the March Holidays. They'd been jumping up and down on the car seats, sticking their noses into the window, and chattering non-stop on the journey here, giving Noishe, curled up on Lloyd's lap, no peace to sleep in. Her father, who had been sitting with them in the backseat, had just watched with an exasperated smile, having given up on asking them to calm down when his pleas had fallen on deaf ears.

The two of them would finally get to see the breathtaking ocean they had witnessed multiple times when watching The Little Mermaid, their favourite movie to watch together. Lloyd loved the vibrant ocean and the possibility of an entire unexplored world full of magic under the waves. She liked the colours and the cute designs, and the absolutely beautiful story of true love overcoming all. They’d watched it one time too many, until Flounder and Sebastian easily visited her in her dreams.

Aunt Anna had made clear upon their arrival her two conditions for letting them in the ocean. Firstly, that an adult had to accompany them at all times. Understandable, given the terrifying power of the ocean with its roiling waves, that had only been impressed on her upon actually seeing it with her own eyes. Secondly, and expectedly, that they had to wait an hour after breakfast, the familiar argument of "You have to digest all those cheese sandwiches!" leaving Aunt Anna's mouth.

They might as well make the most of the one hour, so Colette had suggested building a sandcastle to pass the time. It was one of the activities that she thought was a must-do for a first-time beach trip. After all, where else were they going to find all the sand they needed?

Lloyd had happily agreed. She was glad to see him finally perk up after wilting a little at the reminder that he needed to wait - days were much better when they were both smiling, and it wouldn't do for Lloyd to spend his first time at the beach with a frown on his face. So they'd dug up the shovels and the buckets from the car's trunk and set out to make the best sandcastle ever, one that reached the sky! They weren't going to let their lack of experience hinder them!

Perhaps that goal was a tad too ambitious. But that sure wouldn't stop her from trying!

Having made zero progress in getting the sand out of the bucket, Lloyd resorted to upending the bucket and slamming on the bottom with his hands until the sand all came out in a single bucket-shaped mound. Colette spared a worried glance at the plastic bucket, which had let out a groan. She had no clue how sturdy it was. Hopefully, it wouldn't break.

"Come on, Colette, let's do this!"

"Yeah!"

Lloyd knelt to start tamping the sand into shape, and Colette joined him.

"Could you pass the shovel?"

"We're out of water again!"

"How about we try doing this?"

Those were the only words that left their mouths as they worked together, their hands brushing. There was also the occasional peal of laughter that slipped out of either of them at something funny the other had done. Otherwise, they were in perfect sync, without the need to talk. They could just adapt to the other's actions. She remained focussed on her task, tuning out the sounds of life around her and getting her hands covered in sand, until there was even sand under her nails.

The sun continued to get higher on its arc, its rays falling on all the bare skin revealed by her navy blue one-piece swimsuit. It felt like she was roasting alive. Sweat ran down the sides of her face and her throat was dry. A can of cold lemonade sounded really nice now. She was glad, at least, that their parents had insisted they put on sunscreen, and had helped slather the two of them in it from head to toe, Lloyd squirming the whole time. If not for that, she would surely have an excruciating sunburn by now. From what she'd seen of her classmates who had returned from last year's March Holidays with red and peeling skin, she was glad to avoid it.

They made steady progress, bar the few close calls where she nearly flung the shovel into the sandcastle. It slowly took shape with a few more water-gathering trips and repeats of the not very effective bucket-slamming tactic, until finally, it was complete. Even the bucket had survived all the abuse! Colette sat back on her haunches to observe their handiwork, a smile lighting up her face.

Their masterpiece.

Okay, it wasn't a masterpiece. It was nowhere near perfect, or even amazing.

A messy tower stood before her eyes, tapering from a wide base to a thin top. It was tiny at thirty centimetres high. From the middle onwards, the tower slanted to the side, a result of Lloyd pushing just a bit too hard. It resembled the Leaning Tower of Pizza now, but, just like that mysterious tower, their tower was still standing through some unknown magic. Using a random stick he’d picked up off the sand, Lloyd had etched a smiley face with wobbly lines into the side of the tower. He'd stuck the stick into the top to act as a flag, exclaiming that the Disney castle had a flag on top of the main building, so theirs would too! She'd also dug a trench, in which Lloyd had poured the extra seawater remaining in the bucket to create a moat. Now no villain could mount a successful attack on their castle! Not even the Goombas or turtles they stomped every weekend in Super Mario Brothers.

The moat had dried up in seconds as the surrounding sand had absorbed the water, but it was the effort that counted. And it looked cool for a while!

Their castle was pretty average compared to the other ones she could see on the beach, and most definitely was nothing compared to the grand, detailed designs she had seen that one time on TV. But she had fun building it, and it was something she'd made together with Lloyd, so it was worth being proud over. That was all that mattered.

It was nice to imagine their castle standing here for all eternity, even if she knew it wouldn't last once they left. She and Lloyd's castle, powerful and durable, even against the worst of enemies!

"Looks good!" A hand landed on her head, prompting Colette to look up and see Aunt Anna waving a polaroid camera around. She could see her reflection, wide-eyed and smiling, in the sunglasses resting on the bridge of Aunt Anna’s nose. Aunt Anna must really love that pair of sunglasses; she always wore them whenever she was driving her and Lloyd to school in the mornings. To protect her eyes from the sun, and to look stylish while doing so? Who knew.

Aunt Anna had put on a giant sunhat, the brim so wide that it cast a shadow over Colette's face. "Come on, let me take a picture of you two with the sandcastle!" Aunt Anna said, raising the polaroid camera to her eye and miming clicking the button.

After a bunch of poking and prodding from Aunt Anna to get them into the best position, with loud protests from Lloyd’s end, they were finally ready to have their photo taken. For the sandcastle to actually show up in the picture, they had to stand behind it. Lloyd looped his arm around her shoulder, while she gave Lloyd bunny ears with her fingers. She would never give up the opportunity to do so. "Say cheese!" Aunt Anna yelled, raising the polaroid camera with a massive smile and clicking the button, the camera emitting a flash of light that blinded Colette for an instant.

"Can I move now, Mom? And can we finally go swimming? Pleaseeeeee?" Lloyd whined, plopping back down onto the sand before he even received his answer. Colette blinked rapidly, still trying to get rid of the spots in her vision.

"Oh, the pictures are gonna turn out sooooo cute," Aunt Anna muttered, retrieving the printed-out polaroid from the camera and beginning to shake it, waiting for it to develop. She glanced at Lloyd, sulking in the sand, and gave him the thumbs-up. Lloyd perked up immediately and scrambled to his feet to run off, only to stop in his tracks after hearing Aunt Anna's next words. "Wait a moment, would you? Your father is gonna follow you and he's still coming over."

"Dad! Hurry up!" Lloyd yelled, impatiently hopping from one leg to the other as Uncle Kratos leisurely walked over. Noishe, having finally caught up on his beauty sleep, ran over too, barking in excitement. Colette giggled, crouching down and reaching her hand out for Noishe to bump his snout against with every round he made around Lloyd's legs. Would Noishe be joining them in the ocean? It was against the rules to bring dogs into the swimming pool, but there was no such rule here. Maybe Noishe secretly liked water! There was no better chance to find out!

And the more the merrier!

"No going further than the bobbing spheres, okay? And stay close to your father!"

"I know, Mom! I know! You told me this three times already!"

"Just checking," Anna replied cheerfully, ruffling Lloyd's hair and prompting a scowl to pop onto Lloyd’s face.

"You got it too, right?" Her father asked her, having come up behind her.

"Yes, Dad!" Colette replied, getting to her feet and preparing to run down to the ocean. "I promise I'll -"

Unfortunately, Colette didn’t get to finish her sentence. One small step forward and her foot caught instantly against the spare shovel still sticking up in the sand, which had completely escaped her notice. Everyone, even Noishe, stopped what they were doing. All three adults stretched out their arms in a desperate attempt to stop her fall, but they were too far away to have any hope of catching her. Flailing her arms, she fell, the world seeming to go by in slow motion as the tower of golden sand became increasingly larger in her vision.

Until she crashed right through the tower she and Lloyd had spent the last hour crafting, in her unstoppable path to face-planting on the beach. Her hand felt the roughness of tightly-packed sand as that sand exploded in every direction. Closing her eyes against the rain of sand, she threw her arms out to cushion her fall, finally landing on the sand.

The action now over, Colette pushed herself into a sitting position, wincing. No visible wounds anywhere. No blood. No lasting pain. At least the sand was somewhat soft.

Oh no… Heart sinking in her chest, she stared at the mess that had once been a glorious sandcastle, now just a sad misshapen mound of sand. The top of the tower had been scattered everywhere.

She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, an awkward silence arising even as noise continued to surround them. She'd ruined everything with her clumsiness again... She wanted to hide, but there was nowhere to hide out here in the open. Maybe she could dig a hole in the sand and hide forever...

"Colette! Are you alright?" Lloyd’s voice broke the silence, a helping hand offered to her as he stared down in concern.

"Yeah." She took his hand, using her other to try brushing off the grains of sand now sticking to her whole body. There was so much... She'd never get all of it off. She opened her mouth, ready to apologise.

“Come on, there’s no time!” Lloyd interrupted before she could even say anything, tugging on her hand as he had done before. She was being pulled in the direction of the waves, stumbling a little in surprise at the sudden movement. “Our castle was attacked by enemies, and they’ve fled to the water! We need to pursue them! Right?”

Lloyd winked at her, a huge grin on his face. She could read the message in his actions loud and clear: there was no need to apologise. Just get back to the fun!

“Right!” She replied, wiping the hesitance from her expression and replacing it with a smile, worries already forgotten. The ocean would be one solution to all the sand stuck to her skin!

“Race you!” Lloyd yelled, letting go of her hand and abruptly taking off. She cried out indignantly in response, chasing after him as fast as she could, Noishe following hot on their heels with his tongue lolling out of his mouth, ears flapping up and down. Their yells about being first to get in the ocean reached Kratos’ ears, who simply sighed at their familiar antics.

~~~

“Here,” Lloyd said, pressing something small into her palm. He and Colette were both drenched from head to toe from all the swimming and water wars that had occurred. The tips of her hair brushed her shoulders, leaving tiny trails of water behind and causing water droplets to slide down her arms. Not even Noishe had been spared, shaking his matted fur furiously. The water had been colder than she'd expected, but all the running around had helped to combat it. In fact, she was exhausted from all the activity, the smile on her face so wide her cheeks hurt and her throat hoarse from all the screaming and laughter.

Now that they were on dry ground again, they were standing by the picnic blanket, waiting for their parents to return with towels. Whereafter their parents would hold the familiar ritual of smothering them with towels, squeezing each strand of hair dry.

In her hand was a seashell, rough against her skin - not the stereotypical blue ones that were always on the pages of the Chinese textbook whenever the ocean was mentioned, with its fan shape and equally-spaced out ridges - but rather an off-white colour, fantastically curved with little spikes sticking out of it to form a geometric pattern. It had a gaping opening that revealed its pink insides.

“Dad said it's called a conch shell,” Lloyd explained. “Snails hide in them, but this one is empty. I found it just now!”

“Oh, it’s so pretty! I haven’t been able to find any...” She’d been scouring the beach to no success. The most she’d spotted among the sand were tiny fragments of what had once been seashells, smashed to smithereens by the wrath of the ocean.

“Put it against your ear! I tried it, and it really works!”

“The sound of the ocean...?”

Colette lifted the conch shell, aligning the hole with her ear and closing her eyes to listen closely, covering her other ear with her hand. She and Lloyd had read about this many times before - how a shell contained the entire ocean within it.

And it did. It was a strange, mysterious sound - like there was water within the small shell lapping against its walls, somehow, even though that wasn’t the case, for any water would have leaked out of the opening by now. It was almost like she herself was surrounded by the ocean, as the shell in her hand must have been as it was carried by the currents to stop on this beach. What a lonely journey that must have been, alone in the deep darkness.

She opened her eyes to see Lloyd’s smiling face, his hand gently pulling hers away from her ears.

“Did you hear it?”

“Yeah. That was incredible...”

“Well, the shell is for you.” Lloyd gestured, grinning.

“Oh, really?” She gasped. “No, you found it, so it should be yours!”

Colette tried to pass it back to Lloyd, but he refused. He only closed her fingers around the shell with his hand before hopping just out of arm's reach. Infuriating.

“Nah, it’s fine! Keep it! I insist!”

Colette pouted, knowing Lloyd wouldn’t budge on the issue. There were times she wished he wasn’t so stubborn. There was no way she was going to win this.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you one in return… I can try and find one now!” she suggested, already scanning the beach as she took a step forward.

“No need for that!” Lloyd reassured her, returning to her side and grabbing her arm to stop her. “Mom said we aren’t staying here for much longer after we’re done cleaning up. You can just make it up to me some other time.”

“Alright! That’s a promise, then. Thank you for the gift,” Colette said, feeling the ridges of the seashell dig into her skin as she tightened her hold. They had gifted each other little trinkets like these many times before, mostly curious objects they came across whenever they played at the playground. She kept every single gift from Lloyd, just as she would this one. Anything she got from her best friend was precious.

Colette could see the adults walking over in the corner of her vision, holding the aforementioned towels and… Popsicles! Oh, those would be delicious. But it also meant her time at the beach was coming to a close.

Colette knew she wouldn’t ever forget this day. This sunny day, filled with joy, fun and wonder…

~~~

28-years-old

"Remember this one?" Lloyd laughed, pointing to the open scrapbook sitting in his lap. His finger sat on a polaroid that was held in place on the page by 4 pieces of cellophane tape, one of which was crooked, and another of which was starting to peel. Colette tapped her finger on the yellowing polaroid as well, recalling how she had gotten it from Aunt Anna and proceeded to stick it in her sketchbook. Words filled the rest of the page, denoting the events of the day, together with a doodle of a seagull sitting on a giant seashell. If she recalled correctly, this was one of the last pages of her scrapbook before she'd gotten too busy to keep it up. It was fun while it lasted, though, absolutely cramming the border of each page with a horrendous amount of washi tape.

She and Lloyd's happy faces peered up at her from the polaroid, a tiny, not very impressive sandcastle visible in front of them. The weather on that day, a foggy memory but not forgotten, for it could never be truly forgotten, couldn't be any more of a contrast to the rain currently slapping against the windows of their apartment, turning the world outside into pure white as the rain obscured all. The wind howled and caused the window panes to rattle in their housings. The air was chilly, fogging up the windows and further blocking their view of the world outside.

Colette should have been shivering on the bed in her denim shorts, but she was nice and toasty instead, legs covered by a thick blanket. She was resting against the backboard, legs stretched out, hair falling to mid-back in messy tangles. The blanket itself had the sewn pattern of dogs doing various things: jumping over fences, dozing off on clouds, running with bones in their mouths. It was adorable! And most of all, it reminded her of another dog who used to run circles around her feet and snuggle on the blankets with her, but who was no longer with them.

She’d even gone the extra mile and put on socks and a hoodie. Lloyd had taken one look at her and… hadn’t done anything else, because this was normal behaviour from her when she was cold. He’d long since accepted it.

Plus, she was leaning against the ultimate source of warmth! Lloyd, who was also under the blanket, legs pressed snugly against hers. Just as always, he could somehow survive the cold in just jeans and an old T-shirt, showing absolutely no signs of being affected. No shivers, nothing. It was impressive. He took "warm-blooded" to the next level.

Her entire body still felt tingly from the cups of hot coffee that Lloyd had brewed in the kitchen earlier. He’d done hers perfectly without even having to ask, the knowledge of how to do so having long been ingrained in his memory. “Precisely half a teaspoon of sugar and half a cup of milk,” he’d said in a sing-song manner, the warm orange of the kitchen’s ceiling light falling upon him and his gentle smile as she’d stood next to him cutting apples. The rhythmic sound of the knife hitting the cutting board, the clinking of the metal spoon against the side of the porcelain cup, and the thudding of raindrops against the window had been the only sounds filling the kitchen.

They’d drunk the coffee first, backs against the countertop and their eyes meeting across the rims of their cups, his hand finding hers in the little space between them. The hot liquid had slid down their throats with ease, settling warm in their bellies. Having drunk his coffee all at one go as he always did, Lloyd had waited for her to finish. He hadn’t said a single word, preferring to maintain the comfortable silence. The only thing he’d done was rub her fingers with his thumb.

They’d then taken turns popping the apple slices in each other’s mouths, the flesh crunchy when they sank their teeth into it, the sweet juice from the fresh fruit a refreshing contrast from the bitter liquid they’d just consumed. Lloyd, as messy an eater as always, had left little bits of apple at the corner of his mouth like tiny yellow spots that she’d had to brush away with her fingers.

Today was Sunday, the day where they both didn't have work to do, unless they were handling some big project with a pending deadline, and had some time to themselves. Their favourite activities to do on this wonderful day of the week included marathoning Disney movies, playing video games together, and going out to their favourite destinations. They also weren't opposed to just lounging on bed together, or taking some alone time.

But today was also a rainy day. She'd actually been woken up by the first claps of thunder in the early morning. The rain had no business being this heavy after the conclusion of the monsoon season, but Mother Nature was fickle, and they could do nothing but accept their given lot. No going out to the Botanic Gardens as they'd originally planned. The only thing they could do was stay home, unless they wanted to catch a cold on purpose.

It was Lloyd who had found her old scrapbook in a corner of their room while aimlessly wandering around the apartment, the book having gathered a thin layer of dust that made her sneeze when he brought it over. She'd forgotten it was sitting on one of the shelves. He had suggested looking over it, since they had nothing better to do. They had just gone through Frozen, Tangled and The Little Mermaid last week - the plots were still fresh in their minds. More fresh than usual. She could recite the entire script of The Little Mermaid from memory if she needed to.

What better time was there to reminisce than with their second anniversary coming up? What better place to do so than in the bedroom they shared, its corners teeming with keepsakes and memories, absolutely overflowing with their love for each other? Just being in here for a minute was enough to make her heart feel warm.

The framed pictures hanging on the walls and sitting on the nightstand - of them and their parents; of the two of them under a sky full of stars; of them and their friends, laughing and popping bottles of wine, fitted in elegant dresses and stylish suits. There were many more pictures, kept in the various albums lining the bookshelf above the bed, which she occasionally took down to look through on days when she was feeling rather nostalgic. Staring up at her from the pages were contented faces from all throughout time, allowing her to track her progress from days long past to the person she was today.

The Siberian Husky plushie she was currently hugging to her chest. The soft fur felt incredible to the touch, and it was so comforting to just run her hands through the fur, tightening her fingers on tufts of it. Behind those beady black eyes were more, however, a significance that no one else but herself could see. A precious memory of a carnival and the time they were finally honest with each other; a step she had been terrified to take but which she’d mustered up the courage to, in order to join Lloyd at the other end of the open door and grab the encouraging hand he offered her. She had stumbled many times along the way, but Lloyd had steadied her every time. She’d gambled on the chance, but it had all been worth it - for she had managed to find her home in Lloyd, and it had all led to the beautiful life she led today, where she got to see his happiness every day.

The wall painted over with galaxies, swirls of pinks and purples and blues, and a single adorable dog in a spacesuit, which they had hand-painted when they first moved in until they were both splattered with paint and giggling.

And of course, the two matching, nondescript metal bands, one lying atop the other on the nightstand.

"You destroyed the sandcastle not soon after, right?" Lloyd said.

"Hey!" Colette pouted, poking Lloyd's side. "Don't tease me."

Lloyd shifted his body away from her attacking finger, still smiling warmly. "I'm not teasing you. I'm just stating what happened." He turned around and retaliated by poking her on the nose, sending her reeling back in a fit of giggles. "It was fun, though!"

"It was," she agreed, struggling to hold back further laughter, bubbling up within her chest like an uncontrollable fountain. “You gifted me a conch shell afterwards. Remember?”

“Of course I remember, silly. It’s sitting on your shelf right now.”

That it was. She’d kept it all these years, the passage of time causing its colour to fade. In all other aspects, it was perfectly conserved, looking just the same as it had on the day he’d pressed it into her hand. She lifted it up to her ear sometimes, just to listen to the sound of the ocean.

Colette flipped to the next page of the scrapbook, looking over all of the memories contained there. Her childhood had been filled with joy, in no small part due to Lloyd, who took every opportunity he could to make her days fun-filled and exciting as he strived to make her face light up with a smile. There were moments where she was suddenly overwhelmed with a great sense of gratefulness for the fact that, out of an infinite number of possible outcomes, she had met Lloyd when she was young. For she was so incredibly fortunate, more fortunate than most, to have met someone who loved and accepted her for everything that she was.

She placed one hand on his cheek, fingers splayed, and turned his head to face her, his warmth spreading through her cold fingers from that one point of contact. Lloyd leaned automatically into her touch.

“Colette...?” Lloyd whispered, leaning automatically into her touch. His eyes searched hers, as he slowly came to understand what she was about to do. This close, she could make out each individual eyelash, attached to the eyelids that fluttered closed over russet eyes. Most people would conclude Lloyd was plain. Average, even. There’d been people who asked her upfront why she’d chosen to settle for him, when according to their honest opinion, her beauty could have landed her much better. They didn’t understand. She was the one fortunate enough to know his love and the miracle of such an incredible person staying by her side when there were so many things she couldn’t give him. A relationship with any other person would have been easier for him, filled with far less of a need for compromise, but he’d chosen her in the end.

Besides, there was beauty in plainness. The daisies that were ignored in favour of the orchids, the mynahs that were overlooked for the orioles. There was beauty to be found there, in the most ordinary of things, the ones people saw every day and had ceased to notice. It was a beauty she itched to capture.

Lloyd, to her, was the most beautiful of them all, a rare treasure that had somehow landed in her hands.

“Shh,” she whispered in return, eyes fluttering shut as she closed the small distance between them. She pressed her lips against his slowly, trying to push behind this one action - the gift she was currently giving - every ounce of the love and appreciation she felt at the moment, enough to fill her heart to the brim. It’d been a while since she’d done this. Two months, maybe? It was a little overdue, having slipped her mind for a time as it always did, no matter how hard she tried to remember. If not for the reminder that had pinged on her phone this morning and made the issue fresh in her mind again, she might have gone another month. She’d have to give him more soon, as per her end of the compromise they had both agreed upon when they’d first started dating, which had served them well all these years. He'd said before that he was alright with getting nothing at all, but that didn't sit right with her. She didn't think it would be fair for him to be the only person giving something up.

Kisses and anything further were always up to her to initiate, since Lloyd, as he’d told her time and time again, wanted her to be comfortable in everything she did. He’d never forced anything on her, content to wait patiently for her to feel ready, whether it be in an hour, a day, a year, or never, perfectly willing to compose their entire relationship on quiet moments spent together and nothing more. She still occasionally struggled with the idea that he was far more than she could ever deserve, even as he gripped her hand tightly and told her she was worth everything. It was getting better with every day she spent in his loving company, the extensive wounds left on her heart in her younger days by a world that told her she would never be enough slowly starting to heal. There would always be scars, but those would fade one day until they were barely visible, until the twinges of pain could barely be felt.

Lloyd’s lips were a little chapped from the cold, unmoving against hers, still tasting faintly of the sweet apple slices from thirty minutes ago. All in all, a pleasant experience.

After a second of shocked stillness, Lloyd came to life again, a small sigh leaving his lips and brushing against hers. His hand came up to cup her ear, his fingers curling in her hair as he kissed her back with nothing but gentleness, always mindful of her boundaries and never pushing her any further. Of course, he had boundaries too. If he’d decided to pull back, she would have respected it. It was the bare minimum she could do for him.

Thirty seconds passed and she pulled away, though not too far, opening her eyes to stare into his. Their hands remained where they were, connecting the two of them.

“Where did that come from?” His words became butterflies, brushing their soft wings against her lips. He tucked her hair behind her ear, his fingers stroking the skin above her ear with the tenderness he always showed her.

“I just felt like saying thank you.” For everything. For all their years together. For all the love he showed her. For the knowledge that Lloyd would continue to stay in her life, for the rest of her time on this wondrous Earth.

Not that long ago, she would have broken away and covered her face with the plushie that was still in her arms, cheeks flushed and too embarrassed to meet Lloyd’s eyes, preferring that he talk to the plushie instead of her. Much like the first kiss, unconventional as it was, that they had shared. Now she could stare unflinchingly with confidence to witness the happiness that bloomed like the most incredible flower on his face.

“Thank you. For the gift,” Lloyd replied, always seconds away from showing his appreciation.

“Shall we look through the rest?” she asked, removing her hand from his cheek to cover the one he had placed on her face, her fingers slotting in perfectly between his as she smiled sweetly.

Here was her sanctuary, where all she knew was serenity and the warmth of loving and being loved.

“Let’s.”

~~~

“Mm.”

Lloyd froze in the middle of flipping to the next page of the scrapbook, watching Colette with eagle eyes. Had he…

But she didn't seem to have awakened. Not really. She made no other sound, only tightened the hold of her arms around his midriff, her face buried in his side and the rest of her lying on her side on the bed. He'd resorted to holding the scrapbook up in order not to accidentally jolt her out of her peaceful sleep. So far, his arms had not started to hurt yet.

Lloyd heaved a sigh of relief, tucking the entirety of the blanket tightly around her shoulders, leaving himself uncovered. Now, swaddled in the blanket, she resembled a cocoon. Adorable. And also what tended to happen each night, as she ended up stealing the blanket eight nights out of ten.

Satisfied that Colette was soundly asleep, Lloyd returned to perusing the contents of the scrapbook, a small smile playing on his lips.

And silence reigned supreme, interrupted only by quiet breathing and the crinkle of paper.

~~~

Next chapter

#fanfiction #multi chapter #colette brunel #lloyd irving #kratos aurion #anna irving #colloyd #colloydweek2021 #day 1: childhood friends #tales of symphonia

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tsbikersau · 4 years

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Chapter 2

There were way too many people flooding the narrow paths in between the seats, not to mention crowding near the food stands, creating such big amount of noise that Logan could barely hear Patton’s excited rambling, which was already edging on half-screaming. He was a bit in front, leading the small group of theirs with Roman by his side, who couldn’t seem to be bothered by his surroundings - he probably enjoyed it the most of all of them. Logan looked to his side, checking up on Virgil. He was hunching down quite a bit, big headphones covering his ears to minimise the ridiculous noise, hands deep in his hoodie pocket, though Logan noted that he wasn’t shaking, which was a good sign.

“Oh, Roman!” , Patton suddenly exclaimed. “Your brother is racing today, did you know that?”.

The whole party looked to the racer, Patton with somewhat naïve joy, as if the same last name meant good memories, Logan rather neutrally curious about the answer and Virgil just a bit confused by the small change of demeanour he must have more sensed than heard.

Logan made a side note in his mind to ask the other what brand were those headphones later.

“I… didn’t”, Roman finally answered, after scanning the board with names to confirm that yes, his brother was indeed listed there. “But I guess it’s good to see the competition”, he said as if the sentence was finished with a question mark.

“Those are eliminations for the upcoming race, aren’t they?”, Logan found himself speaking and locking eyes with Roman when he glanced back to nod in confirmation. “Well then, it should not come as such a surprise now, should it? Remus is, after all, an another child of your family, it would be unusual for him not to be a part of this word.” He pointed out.

Roman huffed and was about to retaliate, but his attention got snapped to what they were looking for – empty seats close enough not to get anyone of their group separated (because as much as Roman would be fine with sitting on his own between strangers, Patton would insist that “it’s not a group hangout then!”, and Virgil couldn’t be left to his devices for obvious reasons everyone was aware of).

It so happened that the ones Roman spotted were at the end of two rows – two of them one row higher than the other, which would still mean that they had to split into pairs, but they’d be close enough to interact without disturbing any strangers in enjoying their experience spectating.

Logan was fine with that, of course. What he didn’t take into account, though, was the configuration in which he would be sitting next to Roman – after the fact he would admit it was a, colloquially speaking, stupid ass mistake, but somehow, it just didn’t occur to him. He didn’t even have time to ponder the seating arrangement before they were there and Virgil dragged Patton to sit next to him in the lower row, shielding him from the person one seat over.

And Logan understood why that would be, with his severe disorders, a person like Patton, who was able to quickly recognise the signs and aid with physical comfort and encouraging words was of significant importance to have next to him, especially in such a place during such circumstances. Roman would be no help, failing to notice subtle changes in behaviour while Logan himself would have trouble with comforting the other. Really, that was the most logical outcome.

It did, though, mean that Logan would have to sit next to Roman. In close proximity, because people designing bleacher seats didn’t plan for a lot of personal space.

When his heartbeat sped up just a tad bit and his throat closed up, Logan tried very hard to stop it from happening and reminding himself that there is no reason for such reaction. He’s known Roman for years, he wasn’t a stranger with whom an accidental brushing of shoulders would be uncomfortable at best. His reactions were not appropriate to the situation and that had to stop.

“Come on, Engine Nerd, don’t stand there like that”, Roman nudged him in the arm, bringing Logan back from his brief stupor.

He sat down, glad Roman left him the last seat of the row, probably having in mind that he, like Virgil, would be more comfortable that way.

When it turned out that Roman started to fidget and move around animatedly almost immediately after sitting down, too excited by the familiarity of the overall setting and unfamiliarity of being up on the spectator stands instead of down on the racing grounds, Logan gave up on trying to persuade himself that his previous reaction will go away. In contrary, he begrudgingly sighed to himself and decided to just ignore it. Just another small inconvenience.

There wasn’t anything extremely exciting in the race from the spectating point of view, Logan decided after it’s been going on for a while. Sure, the start was something that could be described as exciting, but after that it was just bikes going in circles. He supposed that to make it worth watching one must have a crew to cheer for, fix their attention on them and take in every taking over and losing positions, but without that, it was a bit… dull.

From time to time Logan flicked his gaze down, to assess how Virgil was doing, but he seemed fine. A bit tense, not always looking up, but fine. Patton seemed to handle him quite well, which was a relief.

Roman, on the other hand, got invested. Constantly trying to tell Logan about this or that, this crew or this, tactically avoiding mentioning his brother who, from what Logan could determine, was doing much better than some other contestants.

“Oh!”, Roman gripped Logan’s arm suddenly before exhaling, chuckling nervously. “Sorry”. He took his hand away quickly, “They were so close to crashing”, he explained in response to Logan’s slightly taken aback look.

Needless to say, Logan couldn’t calm his heart for the most of the remaining time of the race. He couldn’t exactly focus on it either, but that wasn’t such a waste seeing how he wasn’t as enamored in the sport itself. He just liked working on the machines, which, on a completely unrelated note, were way more logical than humans and much more easier to understand.

Throughout the whole event, Logan was a bit spaced out. He wouldn’t admit to it, but it surely helped with not noticing every single little brush coming from his side (it’s preposterous to even notice them all that time, honestly, Logan, “get a grip”, he started to chastise himself at some point) but it also meant not exactly noticing the slight change in atmosphere after the last lap was signalled, not at first. Only when everyone seemed to freeze, Roman included, did he pull himself back to full consciousness, right in time to watch Remus’ green bike cross the finish line with the rest of the contestants close behind him.

Remus won.

The crowd erupted into cheers, the sudden change in volume making Virgil flinch violently even though he was surely aware that it would happen. Logan flinched, too, unprepared for such drastic increase in decibels.

Patton turned back to try to communicate with them over the noise, but they still needed to lean forward to be able to hear him.

“We should go congratulate your brother, Roman!”, he practically yelled, even with them so close.

“What?”, Roman sounded baffled. “No way in hell am I going to congratulate that bastard”.

“Roman! He’s your brother!”

“Like I care”, he huffed to himself.

The thing with Patton was, though, he could either read lips or just had a very good skill of hearing when someone was mumbling, because he pursed his lips and was about to reply, but they had to start moving, seeing how people started to collect themselves, ready to leave the bleachers.

At least the rest of the small argument could be continued in smaller voices, in a more comfortable positions. If annoyed, hot-headed Roman was even capable of lowering his voice.

Which, he wasn’t. However, Patton was not the one to let go of something if he sets his mind to it, either.

For the whole trek down the stairs and lower, to the advertisement bands that circled the racing grounds Roman tried to argue with Patton who was unwaveringly leading them to greet the winner, which left Logan to trail behind them with Virgil at his side, pulling down his headphones, as there was no further need for them to be on. Logan had to admit, the speed with which the stadium emptied out was undeniably impressive.

“Are you okay, Vigil?”, Logan asked, watching the other exhaling slowly, fidgeting with the cord of the headphones.

“Mhm, I’m good”. Virgil glanced up at the pair in front of them, letting his gaze fall down to the floor after a few seconds. “Patton helped, y’know, that almost crash?”, he chuckled, quietly, nervousness mixing with slight darkness in the sound.

“I’m glad to hear that”. Logan put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder reassuringly, satisfied to see the quiet man smile just a bit at the gesture.

The rest of the way was silent, even Roman had given up on trying to convince Patton to change his mind. He was almost sulking, not different of a child whose parents didn’t agree on buying them a toy, but soon enough he was standing upright, features set in a prideful mask as soon as they got near enough for Patton to call out Remus’ name.

Remus was standing with his crew, just barely let off from the small interview for the local paper, finally able to stretch and relax. Or do a bridge and walk around on all fours, apparently, resembling a horror-esque creature. So maybe it would be suitable to call it crawling and talking with his crew.

Patton tried to call out to him, but must have not been heard, as everyone was busy getting all the things together to exit the building as well. It took a few tries for Patton to be sure that nothing else can be done, so he just turned to the rest of the group and shrugged.

“No luck for us today”, he said, seemingly not bothered in the slightest. “Wanna go for some ice cream?”.

He started walking to the exit before anyone got to answer, which, to an attentive eye, was a clear tell that he was not entirely indifferent to what had just happened, but he wasn’t going to outrightly show that nor tell anybody about it.

That was just how Patton dealt with the word, to the displeasure of his boss and co-mechanic.

It’s a discussion that needs to happen in the nearest future, Logan noted in his mind. Contrary to popular belief, he did care about his fellow employees and friends.

That care, however, sometimes meant putting the issue aside to discuss on a later date. For now, he reckoned ice cream would be a pick-me-up enough for Patton’s mood.

And in some far away part of his brain Logan regretted not getting to talk to Remus as well, he wasn’t going to dwell on that. Simple curiosity, nothing more.

Nothing worth making Roman as uncomfortable as he seemed to be with the mere idea of talking to his brother.

Logan was also curious why that was, exactly. That wondering got pushed back to join other emotions as they were walking out and Roman fell into the step beside him yet again.

There was enough time to get all the answers, he decided. Patience is a virtue, after all.

__________

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Tag list: @angelableblue

#sanders sides fic #sanders sides #logince #logince fic #tsbikersau #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders mention #ts sides #fanfiction

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justreadingfics · 5 years

Text

Looking For a Heartbeat (21/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Series Summary: You and Bucky used to be in a relationship. Feelings were hurt, you left. It’s been two years and you’re back. You both will handle the reunion well, won’t you?

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, medical procedures that might be poorly written, birth, sappy moments that made this author cry a bit.

A/N: Thank you @suz-123 for being so amazing. Links are messing up posts, you can find the masterlist link on my description.

Beautiful and magical.

That’s what you’ve always heard about giving birth. So far, all you’ve been feeling is excruciating pain and sheer panic.

After the water break, medical help was quick to get to you, since you were already at the med-bay. Doctor Nadine got there in record time and after examining you she said you were ready to give birth, despite you hadn’t even reached the 30th week. She offered a C-section, but also said the baby was in the right position and by how your dilation was progressing quickly, she thought a natural birth would be suitable. You said yes.

Damn you.

Ugh, there it goes again.

Your face contorts into a grimace and sweat rolls of your forehead while strays of hair plaster all over. A guttural growl comes out of your lungs as another cramp twists your insides. You grip the hand in yours harder.

“How about those meds now, huh, sweetheart?” Bucky’s sweet and filled with concerned voice does little to soothe you while he carefully brushes the damp hair out of your face. Despite being recently shot, he only snarled at suggestions of resting and letting you be, at least for a moment. Not for a second he left your side and, if you’re gonna be honest, you’re grateful for that tight hold on your hand. “It’s time, isn't it, Doctor?” He addresses Doctor Nadine, who’s giving directions to nurses.

“Let me check one more time,” She hurries to put on a new glove and examines you as you breathe fast. “Oh, yeah. Right on time.”

“Yes-ah-yes, please.” You groan and the grip in his hand grows even stronger as your head drop back in the chair. As much as you have thought about it before, the arguments to go completely natural seem like a bunch of stupid ideas right now when you’re so close to start pushing and you have no idea how you’ll live through the agonizing pain you’re already feeling, “Just give me anything.” You plea, eyes squeezed shut.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” Bucky soothes and nods at Doctor Nadine.

“Ok, hun, hang in there. Our little soldier is anxious to come out,” She answers and moves to prep the medication.

After another, and powerful, contraction tightens your belly, you position yourself for analgesics to be applied under Bucky’s protective and vigilant eyes. You glance at him and he gives you a small nod and a sweet smile, offering his hand for you to hold again as he whispers for you to breathe.

Leaning back on the chair once again, you take in a deep and long sigh. You accept Bucky’s offer of his hand, but can’t quite respond to the smile. Yes, you’re in pain, but what’s been worrying you the most is how soon this is all happening. Doctor Nadine said that your body probably wasn’t being able to go on with the pregnancy anymore and that’s what caused the water to break after you exhausted yourself. Despite the assurances that the baby is fine and perfectly ready, you’re terrified. All you want is for all of this to be over soon so you can see for yourself their little face and make sure they’re safe.

Bucky is putting on a serene and strong façade for you, but you know he is just as worried. Nevertheless his presence is calming and a reminder that you're not alone to face whatever. He’s there with you and he’s the perfect partner for the mission of bringing your child to the world.

“Ok, mama,” Doctor Nadine stands at the end of the chair, “You’re ready to go.”

“That’s it, sweetheart.” Beside you, Bucky whispers close to your ear, “Just a few more moments and we’ll meet our little peanut.”

Yes… he’s right. You finally smile back at him. “Ok.” You nod at Bucky and then at Doctor Nadine, “Let’s do this.”

~ ~~

Push… Push…Push…

Scream.

“You’re doing so good, Y/N. We’re almost there. A few more.” Doctor Nadine encourages you.

Push.

You cry.

“Breathe baby, breathe.”

You focus on Bucky’s secure touch and his comforting voice and push again.

When you feel like you’re combusting in heat, Bucky rests his cold metal hand on your forehead and you breathe at the much needed relieving sensation. Much better than any wet washcloth.

You breathe. 1,2,3,4,5… Push.

You almost crush his hand when the ache coiling your core becomes unbearable. Fucking useless meds…

“Oooo, I can see a little crown.” The doctor’s words make your heart race even more.

You and Bucky look at each other. In his eyes you catch the anxiety and excitement, the same feelings fuzzing your chest.

Push… Push….Push.

“I can’t... I can’t anymore.” You sob, shaking your head, when exhaustion and pain take over all the other feelings that had been giving you the courage to keep pushing.

“Yes, you can,” Doctor Nadine urges, “You’re doing so good, I bet that with another big one or two you’ll be able to see your little baby.”

“One more, my love.” Bucky kisses your temple, gently whispering, “One more… You’re the strongest person I know. You can do this.”

Crying, you turn to him and at the sight of tears misting his gentle and expectant eyes, you nod, before pushing harder than ever, screaming all the air out of your lungs. The most powerful pain and pressure you’ve ever felt washes over you before it’s completely vanished. In a mix of exhaustion and relief, you pant. Letting your head fall back, you notice Bucky gasping beside you.

The sweetest sound of a cry fills up the room.

Your head snaps up and everything around you fades away.

A girl. A beautiful baby girl.

Seconds later, Doctor Nadine places your baby in your chest and you’re already sobbing again. Not from pain anymore. Her little chubby face is scrunching up with feverous crying and time stops at the moment she clenches tightly her tiny fists to the air. You gave life to a child. Your whole heart out in the world. You fall in love immediately. You count every single little finger and she’s perfect. She’s perfect, big, and strong and beautiful.

You know right away this is the magic you’ve been hearing so much about. And it’s worth it. Everything you’ve gone through to get to that moment is completely worth it.

You take your eyes from her to look at Bucky and the expression you see on his face as he watches the little bundle of love in your arms will be forever engraved in your heart. The extraordinary feeling in your chest is intensified by the pure adoration in his face watching your daughter.

His daughter.

He brings his flesh hand to her chubby cheeks and you know immediately you’ve given birth to a daddy’s girl, because her crying turns into little sniffles before it ceases completely at her dad’s touch.

“Our little girl,” He sobs with an enamored gaze stuck on the perfect little creature nuzzled against your chest, “Summer.” He smiles through his tears. “Our little Summer.” His watery eyes find yours.

You frown and, noticing the love lacing his words, a speed up film flashes in your mind. All the pain he’s been through, the life that has been taken away from him, the horror… How he overcame all of those years of cold and harsh winter and somehow continued to be the best man in the world. Seeing the sheer happiness on his face, you realize how much he deserves it. More than anyone. Light is the only thing that should be in his world after all the darkness.

You smile. “Summer.” You forget all the name options you had thought about before, “It’s perfect… Our little sun. Hey there, Summer, I’m your mama,” Your voice is shaky as you look at your daughter and she blinks, quietly observing you and Bucky with her big and already curious blue eyes. Just like her dad’s. You’re doomed.

You turn to him at the same time he does. His forehead leans against yours and, just like the most natural thing in the world, the kiss happens. It’s chaste, pure... and it tastes like forever… a kind of forever you’ve never experienced before. There’s no other intention behind it than to put into action the strongest feeling you’ve ever felt and shared, having your baby in your arms. When it’s over, quickly after it begun, your foreheads remain linked for a little while more and easy smiles adorn the lips of both of you.

After the doctor quickly dries off Summer, she offers Bucky to cut the cord, which he promptly and eagerly accepts, doing it without an ounce of hesitation. When she’s wrapped around a small blanket, you notice Doctor Nadine opening a curtain, revealing those waiting at the other side of a big glass window.

You smile at your friends, your family. You start crying all over again and wave at each one of them. Steve, Nat, Wanda, Sam, Vision, Tony, Pepper, Clint. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of Bruce, Thor and Carol, who had been long gone into space up till now. Laughter takes over you at the sight of some of them in pajamas while others in tactical gear.

After all the brave but exhausting work she’s been through with you, Summer is already sleeping against your chest when Bucky carefully takes her in his right arm, holding her like she’s the most fragile and valorous thing in the world, which she is, but doing it like a pro, which kind of surprises you. You have never seen him holding a baby before. After taking his time staring down at the precious little person with that adoring stare that belongs to her now, he turns and slowly steps closer to the window.

It’s almost comical to see the group of mighty superheroes come close together to get a better peek at your baby girl. You spot Steve, Nat, Wanda and Tony crying, Sam snapping some pictures with his phone while the others chant words of admiration and stupid grins.

Your smile is just as stupid as theirs.

~~~

Later that night, you tried to breastfeed Summer – which turned out to be harder than you expected and a bit frustrating, but in the end you two managed to make the colostrum start to come out. Doctor Nadine told you she was born with 20 inches and a bit more than 7 pounds, which would already be big for a regular newborn, but it was amazing for a premature baby. She related it with Bucky’s genes but, apart from that, nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. She would keep running tests, nevertheless. You tried not to worry and focus on your beautiful and healthy baby. After all of that, both of you fell to slumber, which you knew it wouldn’t be long before you would have to feed her again.

Now, you’re only half-awake when a low and sweet whispering reaches your ears.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Peering through your barely opened lids, you see Bucky through the dim lights in the room. It must have been less than an hour since you slept. He’s holding Summer, who remains peacefully looking up at him as he slowly rocks her and paces around the room. Still not fully awake, and for completely selfish sneaky reasons, you decide to stay unnoticed for a little while longer and listen to the soft interaction.

“Just like your mama… did you see how beautiful she is?”

You can hear the smile through his words as your heart twirls inside your chest and your lips curl up a bit. A warm wave flushes up to your cheeks.

“I was so happy when I found out you were a girl,” He continues whispering, “Don’t get me wrong, I would love you just as much anyway,” He’s quick to add and you can’t hold back the smile to come out fully, “but then I knew you would be just as perfect as your mama, and you are. I love you so, so much. I’m your daddy you know? And I will always be there for you, to keep you safe and happy and kick whoever’s ass you want me to.”

You suppress a laugh – because you know he’s telling the truth - and he stays quiet for a moment, just gazing at Summer in his arm. You can’t help but notice that, despite not showing hesitation in holding her, he hasn’t really touched her with his metal arm, always using it only as a support for the flesh one. You make a mental note about it.

“Your mama loves you, too, you know?”

You suck in a breath.

“You got lucky, my little sun, you have the best mama in the world.” He smiles down at the quiet and observant newborn, “I’m gonna tell you a secret, but you gotta promise you’ll keep it, ok? I lo-”

Deciding you already have intruded enough in a moment that doesn’t belong to you, you yawn loudly and stretch your arms, making your awaken state noticeable.

“Hey,” You smile at him, carefully sitting up straight on the bed.

“Hey, did I wake you up?” He slowly walks over you.

“It’s ok,” you shake your hand, smiling, “I think it’s about time to feed her again. Is she awake?” You straighten up your neck to peek at your baby daughter, whose eyes remain on Bucky.

“Yes, she whined a bit a few minutes ago, but then I picked her up and she got ok.” He can’t even hide the pride in his words, “You needed the rest, so I let you sleep a little more.”

Moving to the side of the bed, you pat the space you make for him and he promptly sits beside you, always careful in his moves while holding Summer.

Her eyes meet yours and then you become her new object of interest. You wonder if the emotions spilling inside you at her sight will cool down at some point… Probably not.

“Hi, sweetheart,” You scratch her little belly.

“She looks just like you.” Bucky mumbles, not tearing his eyes away from her.

“She has your eyes,” you say, “She’s perfect isn’t she?”

“Yes she is. Just like you.” His eyes meet yours, “What you did tonight…It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I always knew you were strong but that was just a whole other level.”

You have to take a moment to breathe, but you did hold back the tear to run down your face under his intense and devoted gaze. “It was worth it.” You whisper, as your words come out strangled, “I can’t believe we did it.” You add.

He scoffs. “I did nothing.”

You place your hand over his flesh one supporting Summer’s little back, “I wouldn’t have done it without you, Bucky.”

“Yes you would’ve.” He states, holding your gaze to his.

“It wouldn’t have been the same.” You state back, just as firmly as him.

He swallows and nods shortly as a small smile shapes his lips.

“Our daughter… Can you believe it?” Bucky turns back to Summer.

For a long moment, you both sit in silence, admiring the little one in his arms. And that’s when you realize the truth in that old saying… everything happens for a reason. You wouldn’t have changed a thing in your past if it meant you would get to that moment. That perfect quietness among the three of you, that extraordinary feeling of sheer love…

“We’re doomed. She’s got us wrapped around her tiny little finger, doesn’t she?” You cut through the silence and sigh, deeply, as you caress her hand with the back of yours.

Bucky chuckles, but before he could answer Summer starts fuzzing and his little face scrunches up before she starts crying. A loud and angry cry to put her first one to shame as she wiggles her clenched little fists to the air.

“Someone is hungry.” You laugh quietly and reach out your arms.

Promptly, but carefully, of course, Bucky hands the baby to you. He gets up from the bed as you adjust yourself and Summer to start opening up the buttons of your gown and nurse her.

“Can- Can I stay?” Bucky asks tentatively, fidgeting with his fingers.

You look up at him and smile, “Please….” You nod, “Please, stay, Bucky.”

~ ~~

Part 22 coming soon (ish)

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky series #bucky barnes angst #bucky angst #marvel fanfiction #bucky fanfiction

1K notes · View notes

mcousland · 3 years

Text

nobody asked for this at all, the dummies have just become my comfort zone and i love them so a fool filled out a whole meme for them for the fun of it. dietrich belongs to @darlingicarus!

— SHIP QUESTIONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP —

how did they first meet?

dietrich saved both maeve’s and carden’s lives while he was making a run in the city. saving carden was pure coincidence that came from killing a few of the dead that had been blocking his own path, but maeve was intended as he kept her from meeting a terrible end when one of the dead got hold of her skirt while she tried to run past. as everyone is prone to in those early days—dietrich was fine with protecting maeve and even bringing her back to whatever group there was at the time, but didn’t mind one bit if carden got bit somewhere along the way.

what was their first impression of each other?

maeve thought he was a bit too Blunt about everything that was going on and wished he would stop looking so damned serious all the time, it made her nervous about danger being around every corner and she was already scared enough. she also thought he was a bit handsome underneath that scowl

dietrich had a bit of a hard time seeing her past carden’s [annoyingly] large presence but thought she wasn’t taking things seriously enough, too many witty one-liners and worries about dirtying her hands and clothes. probably worried about the brightness of her clothes attracting too much attention too tbh

did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

family, that’s a good one. ohhhh, i’m sure a few of their friends wanted them to sort things out and just admit to themselves whatever was going on between them, because oh boy did they Ignore a Lot of things for quite a while but a good 80% of the group could spot how close they had grown through all of the things they endured together.

who felt romantic feelings first?

we already know that it was maeve!! we know this, how silly it is to even type it out!!! we know that she woke up one morning after an evening of fwb activities, spent a minute gazing at him while he remained asleep beside her and there was a frightening Oh No realization when she found herself reaching out to touch his cheek without thinking.

did either of them try to resist their feelings?

both of them! big time!! they were fucking terrified. on top of their own already established issues with Feelings, there are the obvious shared fears that come from the world they’re living in. it’s difficult to accept that you’re becoming attached to someone when you know that you could lose them at any moment with so much violence and darkness surrounding you at every turn, especially when you’ve already lost others along the way. (dietrich definitely held out his resistance for longer, though that's a given.)

if you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think?

would depend on the timing, i suppose. early days they’d probably both scoff at the thought, but later on maeve could be convinced. there’s that whole “soulmates can be made” belief and yes it may be cheesy, but maeve’s a romantic at heart and she’d like to think it’s true enough. soulmates are people who understand each other deeply, are connected at the mind, and know without doubt that the other will always be there at their side—consider maeve Convinced.

GENERAL —

who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

maeve did! technically twice if you count a difference between the beginning of their fwb agreement and then the relationship proper faaaar down the line. i believe the first hook-up came about from maeve making a Very convincing argument for them to find some pleasure and relief from their steadily growing stress while they were away from the group, given that they had become somewhat of a default duo for supply runs and spent so much quality~ alone time together. considering that you could hardcut to five minutes later and find maeve on her knees unbuckling dietrich’s belt, i’d say the proposition went pretty well 😌 the relationship itself came along quite some time down the line, when maeve accidentally slipped up mid-makeout and let the love she has for dietrich Shine through her eyes while looking at him. naturally his instinct was to book it out of there because Feelings Hard, but maeve decided to risk baring her fuckin' heart ((after some months of Pining and a particularly Traumatic series of events that led to them clinging tighter to each other than before)) by asking him simply to "stay" before he could get out the door. arguably that moment was scarier than most of the times they've gone out into the world beyond the safety of their group, but ultimately worth the leap of faith!! because he stayed, and though it was never explicitly stated, they both understood that that night spent together was them putting an end to the fight against the feelings they both knew were there and finally taking the next step in their relationship.

did they have an official first date? if so, what was it like?

they did, but it was purely because maeve labeled it as such and no other reason. a few weeks after their relationship was Confirmed, maeve up and decided that their run into the city would be their first proper Date because they hadn't had some actual alone time in a good while, and it sounded like harmless fun which they didn't get enough of. nothing really Changed from their routine of clearing and scavenging, she just changed up their usual dialogue to asking the "typical date questions. oh, you know! what's your favorite movie? your weirdest fear? the dumbest thing you spent far too much money on?" just a silly excuse to get to know some of the little, random things about each other that popped into their heads or that they'd been curious about for a while.

what was their first kiss like?

tentative and oddly gentle, maeve went for a slow approach in every aspect while testing the waters to see if her last few minutes of attempting to Seduce the bastard into a fwb arrangement had panned out. it was almost Immediately followed up by another kiss and some touching that bordered more along the lines of desperate and eager as they wanted to get to the fun bits, but it was still one of the first notable moments of maeve taking that first step for them and waiting to see if he’d follow suit.

were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

probably first relationship after the world went to shit, but in general nah they’ve both got some prior experiences.

what’s their height difference? age difference?

dietrich’s 5′10″ and maeve’s 5′0″. he’s in his early-to-mid 30s, she’s probably at the end of her 20s?? somewhere around there. who needs solid numbers anyway

what’s their relationship with each other’s families?

😔✌️ new fam found in the group, who dis??

who takes the lead in social situations?

100% maeve baybee. whether she’s talking circles around somebody to keep them distracted, trying to diffuse a situation or just comforting somebody through a difficult moment, we all been knew that maeve’s better suited for almost every kind of social situation. she’ll let him handle any of the ones that rely on intimidation tho, that’s all leitner right there

who gets jealous easier?

ohhhh, that’s another maeve claim. she has Zero reason to worry because dietrich is oblivious to so many attempts at flirtation from others, but it’s still a gut instinct in her to get a little ticked off seeing some rando trying to make moves on him. that’s Her bastard that she spent untold months charming the defenses away from, take a step back and show some respect.

LOVE —

who said “i love you” first?

everybody knows it was maeve, i hardly need to say it. we know she was the one brave enough to say it first, even if it Did take a scare of losing dietrich to tell him. they both already Knew, in that ways of theirs that they have where things are simply Understood between them without having to be mentioned aloud, but she needed him to hear it from her lips at least once. just in case

what are their primary love languages?

i’d say they’re both pretty big on quality time because of them both being naturally inclined to it and how they drifted into becoming partners for supply runs and other action, they spend so much time together it’d be Wild for it not to be their shared #1. not a single doubt in my mind that acts of service is dietrich’s other big one, while maeve’s kinda 50/50 on words of affirmation and physical touch being her runner-up.

how often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

i’ll out them on main for being cuddlers in bed or just generally when they’re Alone. they’re not very big on PDA as a result of dietrich’s whole “if there’s affection exchanged in public i Will learn how to teleport myself halfway across the planet to escape the embarrassment” deal and maeve respecting that. HOWEVER. it’s still maeve and she sneaks in little things when she can, like hand-holding or winding an arm around his waist while they walk. has been known to sneak in a quick kiss to the cheek if he’s sitting down and she can snatch it while he’s not anticipating it. i think hugs are The Most affection that people would frequently see from them in public ((aside from the soft expressions as they watch each other but those don’t count, don’t @ them about it)). the amount of times people in the group have seen them kiss in public can be counted on Maybe one hand if they’re lucky lmfao they keep that shit locked down

what are their favorite things to do together?

this question deserves to be banned from memes because it immediately erases all creative braincells from your mind. dietrich likes to watch maeve tell stories and she loves to ramble those stories, so that’s a win/win for them. sitting on rooftops to watch the sunrise/sunset together. going out of their way to look through any abandoned antique stores or book shops because they’re both Nerds and willing to put in the work of clearing them out so that they can browse. i imagine their favorite is reading together in some comfortable silence, whether that’s separately or with her curled up into him on a couch so they can read the same book. wait also i think maeve thoroughly enjoys any time they’re on watch together because it gives her the opportunity to freely Tease him (and also Gaze at him while he’s focused on the perimeter but that’s entirely too soft so don’t talk about that)

who’s better at comforting the other?

i don’t think either of them are particularly Better at it than the other?? purely because in the beginning, there’s a balance there between dietrich being reluctant to accept maeve’s comfort when she offers it & her taking a hot minute to understand his attempts at comfort. but then they reach that point where dietrich doesn’t tense up when she pulls him into a hug, and maeve finds the consolation she needs in his quiet assurances. on the surface it’d appear that maeve’s better at comforting dietrich purely because she’s more openly physical with her attempts, but the amount of security and solace that she finds in his words or touch means just as much.

who’s more protective?

dietrich takes it with this one. on top of his already there inclination to protect someone if they manage to get close with him, dietrich’s simply the one with better combat skills. maeve can? kinda?? handle herself, if the danger isn’t too pressing and she can find an opening to take advantage of, and she Does have some very strong protective instincts when it comes to dietrich, but he for sure comes out on top for this one. he has the stronger drive and better skills to back the protectiveness up.

do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

physical for both of them! a lot of their communication lies in the unspoken anyhow, it’s no surprise that most of their affection is expressed physically instead of verbally. dietrich’s preference coming from the fact that he might just actually implode on the spot if maeve showered him in too many compliments and expressions of love through words, and maeve’s from learning to appreciate and bask in the meaning and emotion behind the physical affection that he does engage in. also she’s just,, a slut for any kind of affection to begin with, but it’s definitely a whole Thing with being touched when there’s genuine care and love behind it instead of some other ulterior motive.

what are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

[sweats in Having An Entire Playlist Dedicated To Dummies In This AU]

sunlight by hozier — (video essayist voice) the conclusion: maeve is the sunlight to dietrich’s raincloud, thank you. the vibes for this one are just off the charts, lads. it’s about finding Warmth and Light in this love amidst the horrors of the world and in spite of the initial reluctance to let each other get close.

safe & sound by taylor swift — another one with vibes out of this world, this song is Top Tier for a big part of their dynamic in this verse, which is them finding safety and comfort in each other while the rest of the world goes to shit around them. everything may be going up in flames outside, but they know that they have each other and they’re not Alone in anything they do.

what kind of nicknames do they call each other?

maeve’s the queen of petnames, unfortunately for the easily flustered bastard. her favorites are naturally dear and darling, but she also enjoys an occasional use of lover. has called him baby once or twice just to get the reaction out of him. oh wait she also likes calling him an old man when he’s Like That and doesn’t get her references or grumbles too much.

i mean,, it’s dietrich, he uses Sommers more often than her fuckin’ first name and i don’t think he’s out here using petnames/nicknames on the reg At All, they’re opposite ends of the spectrum with this one. he called her sweetheart once to throw her off and it sent her out of wack for at least the entire rest of the day. so good on him, mission accomplished.

DOMESTIC LIFE —

if they get married, who proposes?

no marriage! dietrich’s not quite keen on it and maeve’s not the type to push him into anything he’s not comfortable with. if anything she might?? bring up the idea of rings if they ever come by some while out and about and they’ve been together for a hot minute, for the sentimental and sappy reason of having little reminders of each other to keep on their persons, but she’s not Insistent about it and is content with what they have.

how many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

no kids! world too scary, no thank you!! they’re also just Not in dietrich’s wheelhouse, which may have been a Problem for them if they weren’t in the midst of an actual fuckin’ apocalypse where nearly every day is a fight for survival and maeve can Clearly see every downside of bringing a baby into that.

do they have any pets?

don’t think so, but maeve’s probably made a whole Deal once or twice about leaving a little food for any dogs or cats they see along their treks because she has a soft heart.

who kills the bugs in the house?

dietrich!! he’s in charge of doing away with those Creatures because maeve will most certainly not be going anywhere near them if she can help it. which is,, pretty funny. you know considering their Big Picture circumstances. zombies? she’s fine with them after a point, only truly terrifying in medium-to-large numbers. a spider or cockroach skittering across the kitchen counter?? Horrifying! leitner do your job and protect your woman from the hellspawn

how do they celebrate holidays?

generally just by,, Acknowledging them?? at the very least. maeve has her entire Thing that is keeping track of the date with a day planner that she has had with her from the very beginning (though it’s been lost once or twice, always found its way back), but she doesn’t demand anything happen on holidays because they’re usually a bit Busy making sure they aren’t Dying to whatever’s threatening them that day. on the occasions where they have the free time, maeve insists they spend quiet time together without having to worry about any of their daily responsibilities and that’s holiday enough. maybe slips in a small tradition if applicable and not too over the top

who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

maeve is a very ;) persuasive woman ;)) it was more difficult and had a less frequent success rate back during the fwb days, but he’s completely fucked after they’ve been #confirmed. stands not a single chance to resist those eyes and the idea of lying in her arms for just a little while longer before they have to start their day.

who’s the better cook?

😔😔 dietrich by far. maeve couldn’t cook for shit before the apocalypse began when she had access to all sorts of appliances, recipes and helpful tutorials, there ain’t no way in hell she stands a chance at beating him Now. she’ll gladly take up other duties, but he’s their chef unless somebody else in the group has made a big dinner for everyone to share.

#not me constantly yelling from the rooftops about how much i love theym #i had half a braincell while writing most of this but consider: i don't care bc i fuckin adore them and the rambling is on brand #sometimes the romance is stored in the growing and learning from each other until you mirror & perfectly understand each other y'know #witcher au: apocalypse #maeve & dietrich

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rosemaidenvixen · 4 years

Text

A Secret’s Worth

Chapter 6: Toby

Ao3

The squeak rubber on linoleum got louder as the footsteps came closer.

Toby didn’t move an inch, eyes locked on the gap beneath the stall door.

Coach Lawrence’s sneakers stepped into view.

The muscles in his legs were wailing in protest, cramped in position to keep him perched on top of the toilet. Toby forced himself to ignore the pain and held his breath, staying as still as he possibly could. They were close, so close, he couldn’t mess things up now.

They hadn’t come this far just to trip at the finish line.

Seconds ticked by, each one feeling like an hour, before Coach Lawrence’s shoes turned and headed out of the bathroom. Toby letting out a silent cheer of victory as the door shut behind him. He waited a few more moments, just to make sure Coach Lawrence wasn’t trying to fake them out, before dropping down to the floor and peeking out of the stall.

“Coast is clear Jim,”

Right on queue Jim stepped out of another stall and hurried over to meet him by the door. A quick glance to make sure the halls were clear, then they made a break for it. Running through the school as silently as they could, taking care to make sure they wouldn’t be seen.

When they reached the side entrance Toby was shaking, half from excitement and half from fear. Part of him was convinced that Señor Uhl was going to be standing right outside waiting for them, two detention slips held at the ready. Their adventure over before it could even begin. Palms sweaty, he slowly pushed the door open, when he saw that the walkway was clear his heart leapt.

He and Jim ran down the sidewalk, grabbed their bikes, and started pedaling like their lives depended on it. Not even slowing down when they crossed the street and cut through the intersection. When they finally stopped, huffing and puffing in front of the diner’s parking lot, only a sliver of Arcadia Oaks High school was visible, the rest concealed by buildings.

Toby felt giddy energy bubbling up inside his chest. They had done it, for a while he didn’t think he had it in him but he had pulled through.

Now the afternoon was theirs.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh I can’t believe we just did that!” he hopped from foot to foot, practically jumping with exhilaration “We ditched a pep rally and snuck out of school we’re practically delinquents now! And no one suspects a thing! Oooh man if anyone finds out we’re going to get Saturday detention for the rest of the year!”

Jim was giggling and grinning from ear to ear, if anything he was even more buzzed about this than Toby was “Who cares, detention will be worth it!”

Toby gave Jim an admiring glance, he had always been so straight-laced since...well, ever. It really felt good to see him finally cut loose.

At that moment the girls rounded the corner on their bikes, racing towards their designated meeting spot right on time.

Jim waved them over as the three slid to a stop, panting as they caught their breath.

“You guys have any trouble escaping?”

Mary leaned heavily against her handlebars, still gasping from exertion “We nearly got caught, Ms. Janeth almost found us, we had to hide in the recycling bins,”

She perked up almost instantly “But we got away, now we have the rest of the afternoon off, and you know what that means!”

Like Toby needed to be told twice “Gun Robot 7 here we come!” he cheered, playfully bumping shoulders with Jim.

Immediately Jim stiffened, a slow shudder making its way up through his body “Tobes,” he hissed through clenched teeth “...arm…”

Oh...oops.

“Sorry dude,” he scooted away, giving Jim plenty of space “Forgot about your needle arm, at least you’re done now, right?”

“Yeah, just finished the last round of shots yesterday,” Jim replied while rubbing his much punctured limb “Thank god, if I had to get jabbed one more time I think my arm would have fallen off,”

Darci snickered “It is kind of funny that the shots you had to get after are worse than when the fox actually tried to bite your foot off,”

“Yeah, hilarious,”

Toby noticed how Jim kept rubbing his arm as the five of them walked their bikes over to the movie theatre, there was a crackdown on sidewalk laws and they didn’t need to get busted for that of all things.

It was nuts how Jim and Dr. Lake had been going on camping trips for years without any trouble, and then all of a sudden the most crazy-town-banana-pants thing happens.

Jim was still pretty touchy about it, he’d only ever showed Toby the injury under the bandage once. A cluster of thin red lines an inch above his ankle, not nearly as gorey as Toby had been imagining. He really didn’t like talking about it though, which was cool, Toby knew when to back off. But after enough time had passed and Jim had gotten over almost being mauled, Toby was going to try and convince him to show off the scars more.

Scars were a huge chick magnet.

Soon enough the theatre was in sight. Not wanting to miss the start of the movie, they hurried to secure their bikes and buy their tickets. Ten minutes and three giant tubs of popcorn later they were all sitting back and watching the pure epicness of Gun Robot 7: Revenge of the Federation.

The movie was well over two hours long, but they managed to sit through every last glorious, action packed minute of it. Except for Mary who managed a quick potty break during one of the chase scenes.

In other words a lot better than the pep rally would have been. They should do this more often.

All too soon the credits started rolling, forcing them to gather their trash and head for the door so that broom wielding employees could do their thing.

While throwing they were all throwing their trash away, Toby happened to notice Claire looking thoughtfully at the banner advertising another movie two theatres down.

Her pensive look broke into a wide, cheshire-like smile “What do you guys say about making this a double feature?”

Toby did a double take at her words, before shooting a discreet glance at the nearby theater employees. One behind the ticket counter trying to pretend he wasn’t reading a textbook and fooling nobody. Two at the snack bar engaged in a heated debate about the Star Wars prequels.

None of them would notice or care if five teens snuck into an extra movie.

For the first time today Toby didn’t feel one hundred percent onboard with this. Ditching during a pep rally was one thing, but theatre hopping was another. Forget grounding, if they got caught it was game over for real. Darci’s dad might even pull strings to get them all sent to juvie.

This was stupid, crazy, if there was a single brain cell between the five of them they’d quit while they were ahead and just go to Claire’s house and play videogames.

But that wouldn’t be nearly as fun, or as thrilling.

Mary was practically vibrating “We totally should!”

“We’ve already cut school for half a day,” Darci said with a shrug and a smirk “What’s sneaking an extra movie?”

Toby was about to say that they could count him in when something occurred to him.

He glanced at Jim from the corner of his eye, trying to gauge his reaction without being completely obvious.

The movie they were looking at was over two hours long, which would mean for Jim to stay and watch with them he would have to break curfew.

Toby had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from saying anything, Jim needed to make this choice by himself, pushing him one way or another never ended well.

Jim always stuck to his mom’s rules, which was one of the things Toby admired about him. But Dr. Lake still made him follow the same rules they’d had back since elementary school. They were in high school now, they were teenagers for crying out loud. Trenchcoat wearing strangers weren’t going to throw them in a windowless van if they were out on the sidewalk five minutes past dark.

And Toby was sure that if Jim would just let himself relax and forget about the rules just once, he would realize that to. Then he could spend his nights going out and having fun with Toby and their three awesome new friends instead of being cooped up inside. Sure Dr. Lake would probably be a little upset at first, but Toby was confident that she would understand eventually.

But was today the day?

He held his breath as Jim opened his mouth “I’m in to,” his smile was giddy and carefree “What about you Tobes?”

Bliss shot through him from his head to his shoes.

Hearing Jim say that made Toby feel like he was walking on air. It was all he could do to not grab Jim in a bear hug and sweep him off his feet “As if you guys even have to ask me,”

After making a couple bathroom trips as stealthily as possible, the five of them quivering with barely restrained giggles, they scurried into a second theatre. One showing a cheesy romcom that they most certainly had not bought tickets for.

The movie was nothing they hadn’t seen before in other similar films. Completely predictable with cliche miscommunications and an obligatory love triangle, but they were all still roaring with laughter. Not so much at the movie, but at the thrill of successfully having broken multiple rules in a single day and gotten away with it.

So another two hours later they were all still laughing their heads off as they walked out of the theatre.

“We, we--” Darci’s words were broken up by loud guffaws “Should ditch and do movies more often,”

“Totally,”

“Definitely,”

“No argument here,”

Toby sided up to Jim, making sure to avoid his needle arm this time, and flashed him a wink. He knew Jim had it in him, that one day he would realize sticking to old, outdated, frankly babyish rules wasn’t as important as spending time with his friends, he just had to give Jim the chance to figure that out by himself.

“Glad you decided to stay later this time Jimbo,”

“What?”

“Dr. Lake probably won’t be too mad at you for breaking curfew, just make her some of your famous spinach puffs and she’ll get over it,”

Jim stopped in his tracks and turned to look at him, confusion written all over his face “What are you talking about? It’s only three, I’ll be home in plenty of time,”

“No dude, it’s four thirty,”

Wait. Had Jim not been planning on this? Had he just...forgotten the time?

Frown deepening, Jim rooted through his pocket and pulled out his phone “It can’t be that la-”

He stopped in his tracks, jaw dropping open. Toby could actually see the color draining from his face as Jim saw that it was indeed 4:27 pm.

Just like that the cheerful mood was gone. The waves shock and panic coming off of Jim strong enough to make it crash to the ground. Quickly picking up on the sudden shift in atmosphere, girls all looked at each other uncomfortably, Claire coming up to Jim and gently laying a hand on his shoulder “Don’t worry, I’ve broken curfew a few times, your mom might be mad but it’s n--”

Without warning Jim turned and sprinted towards the entrance. They all just stood there, dumbfounded, for a few moments before speedily following him.

Outside Jim was frantically trying to unlock his bike, his hands were trembling so badly that the lock and key slipped from his grip multiple times.

“Hey, where’s the fire?” Darci’s tone was light, but her question landed awkwardly.

Toby’s could feel his face growing hot. Whether it was anger, embarrassment, or some unholy combination of both he had no idea.

Why did Jim have to do this? Today of all freaking days. They had been having so much fun and then he had to go and ruin it.

Why couldn’t Jim just not do what his mom told him for once in his life?

He stepped up to him, prepared to say whatever he had to to get Jim to forget his dumb curfew and actually put his friends first for once.

At that moment Jim finally ripped his bike free and mounted it. Looking back just long enough to flash them an apologetic look.

“Sorry but I really need to leave right now,” he said in a shaking voice.

“Jim wa-” Mary shouted at him but it was too late, Jim was already speeding away, he hadn’t even bothered to put his helmet on.

Expression flickering back and forth between fury and confusion, she grabbed her own bike and took off hot on his trail. Claire, Darci, and Toby rushing to get their own bikes and follow after them.

The four of them pedaled as fast as they could after Jim. Darci nearly got close enough to touch him a few times, but they couldn’t keep pace with the almost manic way Jim was pedaling. In ten minutes, a time frame Toby never before thought possible, they pulled into their cul-de-sac.

Jim didn’t even slow down, dismounting and discarding his bike on the lawn without missing a beat, and then running for his front door at a breakneck pace.

Toby braked hard on the sidewalk “Hold on Jim, let’s ju--”

Jim vanished as the front door slammed shut with a resounding thud. Toby’s entire face was burning, he was very very aware of the girls huddling up on the sidewalk and exchanging hushed whispers.

This was bad, this was bad, this was so freaking bad.

Toby didn’t care if he had to drag him, he was getting Jim out here.

Blood pumping hot and furious, Toby jogged up and pounded on the door.

No reply.

He was hyper aware of the girls eyes on him now “C’mon Jim open up,” he forced his tone to be light and friendly “You can’t just leave us hanging like this,”

Still nothing.

Clenching his fist, Toby tried again.

On the fifth knocking attempt the doorknob started to turn. Toby opened his mouth to unload on Jim about his uncool and uncalled for attitude, but to his surprise it was Dr. Lake that answered the door instead.

“What is it Toby?”

He stretched his fake smile even wider, if there was ever a time to play it cool it was now “Hey there Dr. L, I know Jim has a curfew to stick to...but would it be ok if he just came out so we could say goodbye for the night?”

“Jim is in for the night, you guys can talk tomorrow,”

“Oh,” Toby thought quickly “How about I just pop in really quick, just for a minute,”

He moved to step around her and go talk to Jim himself, but before he could set foot inside her arm shot out and grabbed the door frame.

Her expression had shifted from calm to annoyed as she stood firmly in the doorway, hand fixed firmly to the wooden frame beside her.

Barring him entry.

“I’m sorry Toby but Jim can’t talk right now,”

Unwilling to move but able to go forward, Toby stayed where he was, feet rooted to the ground.

That was when Claire came hurrying up from behind him, Mary and Darci right on her heels “Please don’t be mad, Jim wasn’t trying to break curfew, we all lost track of time,”

“That isn’t--” Dr. Lake let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I’m not mad,” she said tonelessly “But Jim still can’t come to the door,”

Mary’s eyes narrowed, mouth twisting into an indignant frown “Why not?”

“He...he needs to get started on his homework,”

“We won’t take long,” Darci piped up “And besides, the only thing due tomorrow is the biology worksheet, and I know Jim’s finished it already,”

Suddenly a strange sound came from deeper in the house behind Dr. Lake, it almost sounded like...fabric ripping?

Instinctively all four of them shifted around to get a look at the source of the noise. Dr. Lake grabbed the door handle and started to ease it shut while still blocking them.

“I-- I’m sorry but the answer is still no,”

Toby felt sick. Could today get any worse? Why did Dr. Lake have to do it like this. He already knew Mary was going to give them hell about this, not to mention what Claire and Darci would think “But Dr. Lake--”

“Goodnight,” with that she shut the door firmly in their faces

They all stood there for a few seconds of awkward silence before starting to shuffle toward their bikes.

“What does she mean ‘Goodnight’?” Mary grumbled “It’s still light out...”

Toby moved to follow them, paused, and then turned back and stepped toward the door. Jim always had lots of weird rules to follow, but this was the first time he’d broken one of them and gotten caught.

But Dr. Lake hadn’t been mad, the way she had acted was...weird.

On impulse he tried the knob.

Deadbolted.

His entire body ignited in a hot flush of embarrassment. They had just missed curfew by half an hour and Dr. Lake was locking them out like they were just some random punks?

Any sense of shame gone now, Toby stepped right up and pressed his ear against the wood.

At first he couldn’t hear anything, then he started to pick up the whispers. Toby pressed closer, most of it was too quiet to make out, but some of it wasn’t.

“What were you thinking?” Dr. Lake’s voice “I must have called you over a dozen times!”

The volume died down abruptly. Toby strained to hear more, the silence ticking on.

Then her voice shot up in a sharp peak, nearly forcing him to stagger back.

“Do you have any idea how close you were cutting it!”

After that it got really quiet.

For a while he thought that was the end of it, then Dr. Lake spoke up again, this time so soft he could barely hear her “Oh sweetie I’m sorry…stay here, I’ll get the scissors,”

Toby kept listening but things stayed quiet. Except for the hundreds of questions swirling in his skull.

He raised a fist, ready to rap it against the wood. To knock on the door one more time today.

His hand stayed like that, raised and ready for action, for five seconds, ten, twenty, thirty.

Then at forty he deflated, hand falling softly and soundlessly against the wood. Hanging his head, Toby turned and walked away from the house, back towards the sidewalk where his bike and the girls were waiting.

#tales of arcadia #Trollhunters #a secret's worth #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #Mary Wang #darci scott #claire nuñez #Barbara Lake #fanfic #rmvwrites

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miseriathome · 4 years

Text

Movie theater accessibility pt 2.1

@epochryphal replied to pt 2:

i feel like my main issues are 1) captionboxes display nothing at all before the movie (not even a welcome message) so there’s zero way to check if it’s working in advance, and 2) every single time (like a dozen at this point) there are random cut-outs (often several) where one to five lines are dropped/not captioned. i have no idea why either of these is a thing or how to complain properly

Pre-show content tends to be uncaptioned across the board, even with open captions. Unfortunately, this issue specifically is out of the hands of individual theaters because of how trailers are supplied vs how feature presentations are supplied.

Caption devices are fed the text tracks via infrared transmissions inside each auditorium. I imagine the issue of lines dropping relates to that transmission not getting through or the device not properly receiving it, so I’m not sure how fixable it is, but it’s worth bringing up so that the techy theater staff can deal with it.

With regards to testing that they work beforehand, I’ve found that sometimes the range of the transmission extends slightly beyond single theaters, such that you’ll occasionally pick up frequencies from other auditoriums you pass while walking down the hall. In that way, it may be possible to test whether the device works by hovering near the doors of other theaters that are already playing movies to see if they display anything. Really, you could straight-up walk inside another theater for a hot second, or you could ask a staff member to accompany you/bring the device into a test theater on your behalf to make sure it turns on properly.

I’m planning to have a broader “how to complain about inaccessibility” part within the series, although I need significantly more research before I get there. That being said, here are some ideas for how to handle caption device issues that come readily to mind:

Put on self-confident airs and straight-up ask for two devices from the beginning. They’re a free resource anyways and customer service basically revolves around bending over backwards for people who get read as “entitled” in the name of “customer satisfaction.”

That’s the same reason why I say you can get a staff member to test the equipment for you--either they’ll do it because their job requirements are to do what customers want them to, or they won’t do it and you can keep complaining higher and higher up the chain until you get something out of it. (Almost always it’ll stop with a manager and they’ll give you free tickets or something for the “inconvenience.” I saw somebody get multiple free tickets because they weren’t allowed to take their Chipotle into the theater and they kicked up a fuss about being asked to eat it outside/leave it in their car. The managers thought it was bullshit but they gave the free tickets anyways because it’s company policy of basically all chain retail/customer service places to do exactly that.) You have my express permission to be a major Karen if you’re in the right about something.

Alternately, get a chill friend who doesn’t use captions to come with you to the movies and also ask for a device. That way if yours stops working, you can steal theirs. It’s the same tactic as the last bullet point, except that there’s no reasonable argument to deny giving out two when there are two separate people requesting them. The friend doesn’t even have to be seeing the same movie as you, since the devices pick up whichever signal they’re in range of. Hell, ask the person behind you in line to nab you one.

And, to reiterate, definitely complain--the movie theater industry is horrendously unprofitable (by corporation standards) and they seriously will bend over backwards and kiss your feet if you make something out to be a serious problem. Make sure it’s a manager who hears what you have to say, not floor staff. Just “hey, I experienced [this] while watching, and it impaired my experience. You might want to get that checked out” is fine. If they give excuses like “oh yeah, we know, it’s just like that,” your response should immediately be “then why are you selling tickets for this theater/movie or not disclosing this information or otherwise allowing this to impact customers’ experience” (whatever iteration fits best with the excuse given)? If all else fails, you also have the options of doing the surveys on your receipts, leaving negative reviews of the establishment online, and use the contact us forum on their website. They quite actually care very much about these things, and corporate always throws shitfits about the tiniest little issues not being up to snuff.

If you’re dealing with an independent theater instead of a corporate chain, your results will vary. I want to say that indie establishments will skew more sympathetic, but honestly there’s no way to say.

The non-care that many establishments take with their supplemental technologies really is appalling. Floor staff are undertrained about how they work and why they’re important, and customers having to leave their theaters to get new devices is viewed as equally trivial as having to leave to get drink refills or use the bathroom. Charging cables also become faulty and batteries die and the devices themselves aren’t built with convenient indicators or notable features that staff can use to distinguish or keep track of them, either. There are problems across the board from the device manufacturers to the movie leasing companies to corporate theater priorities to individual theater maintenance to customer lack of education, which is why the only practical suggestions I can offer at the moment with my limited knowledge are “game the system when possible” and “complain about everything.”

This is a US-based series. If you have additions, corrections, or other information you’d like to share, please feel free to add to this knowledge base in the replies or as a reblog! Understanding accessibility options and providing education needs to be a community effort, and I would genuinely love this project to go beyond myself and my own knowledge bases.

#movie theater accessibility series #captions #movie theaters #accessibility #epochryphal #reply #long post

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btsmademedoit-blog · 5 years

Text

To Understand Me

Hiya! This is my first time writing for BTS and I have to say inspiration came from the most random place- episode 65 of Run!BTS and their little debate. I couldn’t help it... the conviction in which Namjoon pleaded against the mint chocolate flavour- it had me wanting to try to uh... change his mind about it. Story is NSFW: - Includes some course language, oral sex, food play, penetration.

You sat patiently at the sidelines as you always did, waiting for the director to call cut for the boys to have a break in between the shoot. There were too many close calls during this episode where you had to hold your breath and clamp your hand over your mouth, teeth biting into lips, trickles of laughter escaping your hold. Watching them from afar you could see all their scrunched up noses and crinkled eyes as they slapped their hands on their makeshift school desks, uncontrollable guffaws causing tears to fall and loss of breath. Those idiots. Those precious, goofy idiots. There could be no denying it, they were yours. They were yours the minute Namjoon had introduced you to them more than six months ago just a few of weeks into your relationship. The bonds you felt towards them were instantaneous, like they were all your brothers and they were yours to look after with Namjoon. You looked over to where your boyfriend sat, in between Jin and Jimin, making vigorous arguments over whether or not mint chocolate ice cream was a worthy flavour or not. It hadn’t surprised you when you saw Hoseok and Jungkook’s hands shoot up into the air to state their favour for it, after all you had shared many a tub of the contentious flavour with them much to everyone else’s chagrin. You quickly learned to bring many more tubs and many flavours to appease them lest you get another diatribe from the oldest member, “YA! This is how you treat your Oppa? After all the dinners I’ve cooked for your boyfriend over the years? The disrespect to bring me cold toothpaste for dessert.”

First of all you are not my Oppa. Second of all… shut up.

Shaking your head at the memory you settled your gaze back upon the set, the boys getting wetter by the minute and more impassioned about their topic- none more so than your boyfriend. Stating one ridiculous thing after another you could only snicker silently along as he spoke of his internal struggles to even brush his teeth, his detestation of the flavour of mint ran so deep. Crying and putting on a brave façade for everyone around him so none could see how the fresh flavour affected him so. Such a jackass, but a loveable one. Chiding yourself over your harmless ribbing you asked yourself how anyone could overlook this wonderful man; such a talented, caring, handsome and funny person- it was a marvel that you managed to even catch and then keep his eye. Not that you were complaining. Kim Namjoon was almost worth giving up your favourite ice cream flavour for… not that you ever would. Sweet brown eyes met yours for the quickest of seconds, a slight dip of his head to show you that he was glad that you were there and even in the thick of it all, you were still on his mind. Shooting him a bright smile and big thumbs up you felt your heart skip a beat at the light flush of colour that flooded his cheeks as he forced his attention back to his members and the task at hand. “I was in Gangwon-do… with a friend-” You remembered, for you were that friend. He was still going on about that? The look of betrayal he gave you when you ate your mint chocolate ice cream as he sat there looking dissatisfied with his plain ass vanilla… He had pouted at you all day. You had even offered to give him kisses to make him feel better but he refused to accept them because he could still smell the sweet mint on your breath. You chased after him for ten minutes around the city like children with your lips puckered threatening to kiss him and stick your tongue up his nose for good measure. It was no surprise that people looked at you funny that day. Giggling to yourself as you lightly slapped your cheek to focus on the scene playing out in front of you, you finally tuned into what Namjoon was saying. “I’ll mix chocolate with my toothpaste starting today-” “Why do you keep saying that?” “So I can understand them. To understand the taste.” Ahhh, of course. If there was one thing Namjoon was always hungrier for than the sweetest chocolate, it was knowledge.

He wasn’t surprised when you decided to go out after the recording, it wasn’t an unnatural occurrence to say the least. You would all go to get a bite to eat or back to the dorms with some of their favourite take away but with the new album already underway he was stuck going back to the studio with Yoongi to work on some new songs. Hoseok was meant to come and join them but with all the talk of mint chocolate there was no stopping the indomitable dancer. It was completely fine for you to go with his best friends to eat the cold treat, it wasn’t the first time you had gone without him. However each time it happened left him reeling that little bit more; that it was something you should be doing with him. He tried his best to continue being reasonable, he understood that nothing untoward was happening and that it was a good thing that his friends and his girlfriend got along so well but he couldn’t help but feel… envious. It was something he couldn’t share with you. Time after time he would see Hoseok or even Jungkook lean over and take a scoop of your ice cream, or you’d stand up and lean over the table to take a bite out of their cones. Never his. Never him. It was stupid he knew this, but it didn’t make any difference to his stupid brain. It still hurt. Being in love was hard. Was this why he fought so hard during the damned debate? No, no of course not… of… of course it was.

It was easy to lose track of time whenever you were the guys, they were funny and charming and they just made it so easy to be around them that you often forgot that you had other places to be. They had taken much longer than anticipated to get all their snacks from a nearby 7/11 before stopping off at their favourite ice cream parlour. They had to select all the desserts that the others would want and then choose for themselves- for boys who said they only wanted to get some mint chocolate ice cream they were certainly looking at every single possible choice available. Well… okay… not Hoseok but the ever hungry Kookie sure took his time to choose his treat (treats, the boy could tuck food away enough for two and he still looked like he was carved from marble, unfair). By the time you got back to the company it was already quite late and Jin, Tae and Jimin had just finished practicing and were on their way out; they gladly received their food and told you that Namjoon was still in his studio working away before saying goodnight (only Jin peaked into his Styrofoam box to check that you hadn’t purposely gotten him weird flavours and happily hugged you when he saw a delicious blend of gourmet gelati in his tub). Hoseok and Jungkook quickly bade their goodbyes by stealing bites out of your perfectly sculpted ice cream as you hugged the other, apologising for eating theirs too quickly and thus “having to”eat yours. Clucking your tongue angrily at them as they all boarded the van to take them home you made them promise that they would each buy you one replacement cone for their duplicity. Turning on your heel back towards the elevator you hurriedly texted both Namjoon and Yoongi that their stuff was there to be picked up. Only Yoongi responded and happily met you in one of the break rooms and quietly gave his thanks for the coffee before holing himself back into his studio. Peering down to your phone you noticed that Namjoon still hadn’t replied but that wasn’t completely out of the ordinary when he was focused, he was probably completely lost in his computer screen tweaking some beat or lyric and didn’t even hear his phone ring. You walked without even thinking about your path, your feet automatically leading you to his studio by muscle memory alone. After a brief rap on the door you simply let yourself in to find him sitting at his desk with his phone twirling in between his fingers. He didn’t welcome you as you shrugged off your coat and put down your bag, only truly acknowledging you when you called out to him and offered him a foam box which he stared at. He was acting… weird. Sullen and moody and much less enthused as he normally would be when given sweets, had something happened during your short time apart? “Joonie… Namjoon-ah?” you called out as he continued to stare between the box in one hand and the small cup with your half eaten ice cream in the other. “Hey… Nam-Nam! Hey are you okay baby? What’s wrong?”

Oh how he wanted to answer you, you could see it by the way his chin had jutted out and how he chewed on his bottom lip in deep contemplation. Did you do something wrong? You carefully retraced your steps from the morning and during the shoot and then after that you were just hanging out with Hobi and Kookie… there was nothing you could think of that you could have possibly done to offend him.

“Nothing.”

Nothing? Seriously. You’re trying to say nothing to a girl who practically invented pretending to be okay when she obviously wasn’t. Try again Kim Namjoon. Nothing my ass.

“Okay then,” you replied nonchalantly as you continued to eat your ice cream as you dropped the other container filled with his favourite flavour on the side table with an unceremonious thud. If he wanted to act like a child and not talk to you like an adult then you weren’t going to address whatever issues he had against you. Annnnd no ice cream for you. You could see him looking at you from the corner of his eye, trying to think of how to phrase whatever it was that was crawling up his ass.

“Did you-… did you,” he started quietly as if he were waiting for you to magically know what he was saying.

“Did I…? Run around the parking lot naked? Did I… flash those nuns as we drove past that convent? Did I… pat Bang PD’s head for luck as I passed by him just before? Yes. The answer is yes to all of them.”

“No, that’s not what-”

“And I mean I’m going to need a lotof luck to not go straight to hell cos I flashed those nuns so I patted his head a few times.”

“You know that isn’t…”

“And running around the carpark was a given after I lost that bet with Jungkook. Being naked was just for funsies to see him blush.”

“Did you share ice cream with them?” he asked abruptly, shocking the both of you into silence.

Well that was completely unexpected. Were you supposed to lie about that? Was that even a problem?!

“I mean… yeah, we did. We always do. You know that,” you answered him nonplussed not quite understanding the importance of it all. “You share with them all the time, in fact I’m pretty sure Tae ate almost all of your chocolate chip ice cream last time. I share with them, I share with you and you share with-”

“No, no you don’t. Idon’t. That’s the point!” he said with his voice slightly raised, hands smacking together to prove his point even though you were more confused than ever. “You share with them. Always with them. You don’t share with me and I know that’s not your fault because I don’t like the flavour that you love, but I just can’t help but feel horrible that I can’t share that with you whilst they can. That I can’t do something so basic with you as share ice cream like all the other couples.”

Oh.

“I know it’s ridiculous and it’s not your problem and really it’s not an issue baby- forget I even brought it up,” Namjoon sighed as he threw down his phone on the table so he could run his hands through his hair in frustration.

“No, I won’t,” you began as you moved forward to stand in front of him, his shoulders slumping even more as an irritated huff left his plump lips.

You looked at your man, embarrassed and defeated, riled up and defensive and… so unapologetically beautiful in his honest bashfulness that it stirred something warm within you. He was envious of something as minor and inconsequential as sharing ice cream with someone else, that he craved to have the small bonding experience for the both of you as a couple. Something so trivial that you didn’t even realise what it meant it to him; it was sweet and in truth it made you appreciate the beautiful soul in front of you even more. He just wanted you both to have something he thought you were missing out on. Not anymore. His words from earlier in the day rung in your ears once more, his ardent cries against your favourite flavour suddenly more understandable, and his resolution at the end to learn (for you!) all the more heart-warming.

“Please let’s just move on and… hello there,” he stopped midsentence as you climbed onto his lap halting his train of thought. “I, uh… what was I… yes that was it… just… what are you doing?” he asked as you slid the tub of ice cream from your hand into his. “I’m going to teach you.” “Okay, I’ll bite. What are you teaching me?” he replied his eyes scanning over your face as if he were trying to coax the answer from your features alone. You smirked as your hands began to run over the clothed planes of his broad chest, the warmth from his skin seeping through even the uppermost layers. “I’m teaching you how to understand me,” you said as your hands slipped underneath the simple white cotton shirt to feel his taut skin react to your touch. You fought to control your expression at the slightest jump of his muscles before he relaxed into your palms, you could feel his breathing start to hitch as your fingers splayed over his stomach with your nails lightly grazing his skin. “I’m teaching you Namjoon, so please pay attention.”

The tone in your voice was more commanding than normal and was something your observant boyfriend noticed immediately. He was always quite dominant when it came to your activities in the bedroom which you never complained about, but on the odd occasion you wanted to flex your power over him he was always receptive- not that it took long for him to steal it back. The slightest quirk on the side of his mouth told you that you definitely had his attention and from the shift of his hips in the chair told you that it wasn’t only his mind that was focused on you.

“Are you sure you want to teach me now? Your ice cream is melting,” he said as he tipped his head towards his hand on the desk, the dessert slowly trickling down his fingers and marring his pristine table top. Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight and your mouth frowned into the pout you knew he was weak for as you lifted his hand just above eye level to inspect it, and sure enough one errant droplet fell from it and straight onto the side of your mouth. Without skipping a beat your free hand came to your face to lightly touch your cheek before your fingers swept the sweet cream into your mouth, a sight you knew your boyfriend was watching with rapt fascination. Slowly you lowered his ice cream laden digits to your mouth as your tongue finally met his hand, the taste of mint and chocolate and the salt of his skin dancing around on your palate as you quickly made the decision that the taste of your man definitely made your favourite flavour even better. From soft tentative flicks with the tip of your tongue until it lay wide and flat against his fingers you licked his hand clean, all the while keeping your eyes on his face. His golden skin flushed with pink as his lips parted and his irises almost invisible behind his dilated pupils… Namjoon had always enjoyed a good show. You ran your tongue against your mouth relishing the combination of flavours once more before leaning in to trap his lips against yours. Initially he stiffened in your grasp, he wasn’t expecting for you to make him taste it and you were half expecting him to pull away, but he didn’t. He held fast. He relaxed. He opened his mouth. You could hear him take a deep breath as he let his tongue brush against the rim of your lips, the ice cream still evident on your mouth. Your eyes opened to see his eyebrows crease together in a quick flash of distaste before evening out as he deepened his kiss, tongue thoroughly exploring your mouth growing bolder and throwing all caution to the wind. You heard the distant sound of him dropping the cup back onto his desk to free his hand, the newly emancipated appendage quickly losing itself in the mass of your hair, fingers wound amongst the strands as he crashed your form against his.

Your lungs burned as he continued to kiss you, his hunger for you all encompassing as he threatened to eat you whole with each passing minute. Pulling your head back so you could take a long, hard breath, Namjoon took full advantage for your position as he nipped and sucked down the column of your neck eliciting a breathy moan from you. You felt his lips smirk against your skin which promptly reminded you that this was yourlesson and your student had managed to skip ahead in your syllabus. With a strength you didn’t know you had- because fuck that man and his lips were dangerous-you pushed him away, a confused and agitated look crossing Namjoon’s face at the intrusion. Not giving him a chance to distract you once more you made quick work of his clothes, jacket and shirt coming off with a flurry of motions which had him unsure of what had transpired. Leaning back behind you, you reached for the abandoned cup of very melted confection and allowed a few dribbles of the sweet to fall onto his chest much to his surprise; Namjoon releasing more than a few curses at the cold liquid dripping onto him. Ignoring his flowery use of language you fell to the ground to kneel in between his legs and scooped up the ice cream with your tongue almost silencing your boyfriend, the expletives that fell from his lips holding a completely different context to those from mere moments before. Over and over you repeated the gestures of pouring and licking him clean, stopping in between to make sure you kissed him, sucked on his plush lips and tongue until he groaned before starting the cycle all over again. You were about to start the final round with the last drabs of ice cream from the cup when you felt strong fingers stop your wrist and relieve you of the tub. You flashed a curious look to Namjoon whose focus was directly on your exposed décolleté, his intention glaringly obvious though nothing but harsh breaths passed his lips.

He haphazardly poured the green hued cream over the swell of your breasts before throwing the empty cup over his shoulder. Namjoon easily threaded his arms under yours to cradle your back to lift you up to his awaiting mouth, his lips working over your skin with practised precision. He knew where to lick you, bite you and just let his mouth lightly run over you to tease you and keep you on edge and practically mewling. He lapped up the ice cream with no complaint as his breathing slowly turned into muted growls, he loved hearing your noises, your breathing your moans the deliciously wickedly wet sounds the two of you made when you finally joined. He loved them all but none more than the sound of his name whispered like a prayer thick with lust. Like a mantra his name dripped from your mouth and coupled with your fingers tugging at his hair it did nothing but drive him further into his madness.

Namjoon tore his mouth from between your breasts and found your lips once more, the rush of his breath tickling your skin as his tongue danced with yours frantically. You had never felt him this frenzied or demanding, it had you warmer than you had a right to be, your arousal evident from the feel of your underwear between your thighs. With one arm still holding you up against him his other hand snaked back to the front to massage your breast, his fingers quickly finding the pebbling nipple under the thing fabric of your dress. Shots of desire fired through your system straight to your core and clouded your thoughts. Thank goodness I didn’t wear a bra today… wait.. No, this wasn’t how this was meant to happen. N-no. He doesn’t quite understand yet. Wrangling yourself away was difficult but somehow you managed to extricate your limbs from his grasp and steadied yourself on your knees. Both of you were panting, both staring at each other with barely constrained want. You took a moment to centre yourself before realising what it must have looked like to Namjoon, your line of sight staring directly at his tented jeans. You chanced a look up at him and the man had the audacity to be gazing down at you with one arched eyebrow and his chin resting on a fist with his elbow on an armrest, silently challenging you, What are you going to do now baby?

You never backed down. It was one thing he loved about you.

Never breaking eye contact you began to pull at the leather of his belt until it revealed the button and zipper of his pants, undoing them without any hesitation. You let the tip of your tongue peak out and wet your swollen lips and tried your best not to smirk at the sight of Namjoon following the muscle entirely captivated by such a small movement. So enthralled he didn’t notice your hand at the waistband of his underwear until you had his length in your palm and gave him a firm squeeze. The muscles of his inner thighs constricted and his abs twitched and the arch of his eyebrow faltered for a second before finding its original spot.

Slowly you pumped your hand up and down his length, hard and warm in your grip, the tip wet with drops of precum that had you dying to taste it. Would the saltiness mix with the flavours you already had that night? Would it make it better? Worse? Would mint chocolate ice cream never taste as good as it did before you had it with Namjoon and his glorious cock?

Clearly Namjoon wasn’t the only one hungry for knowledge.

Keeping your eyes on him as you lowered your opened mouth onto his dick, you hummed your approval at the strong taste of him playing across your tongue. He was salty and sweet with a taste that could only be labelled as distinctly masculine, all mixed with the mint of your ice cream- you were hooked. This was the only way you could truly enjoy your favourite treat from now on. From his mouth, his hands or his cock you didn’t care- you had a taste and now you wanted more.

Namjoon hissed through his teeth as his fingers tightened around the armrests, profound tears in the material that he would have to try to explain away to the Big Hit staff members as an accident most likely, not that anyone would question him, your boyfriend being the resident God of Destruction after all. The thought had you chuckling around him as you were swallowing more of him, the vibrations of your laughter causing him to buck up into you unexpectedly, most of his cock finding its home down your throat. You flashed him a half-hearted glare of disapproval to which he mouthed sorry just before he moaned at the feeling of your mouth work up and down his shaft. One hand found its way back into the crown of your hair, wrapping it around his fist as if he were the one controlling the pace of your head. In truth it was just his way to remember to keep some semblance of control over himself, the soft strands between his fingers reminding him of who was truly in control at that moment.

You could feel pride start to well up in your chest, the vision of him with his head thrown back and mouth wide with soft groans of pleasure seeping in between hisses and his other hand with whitened knuckles from bracing the chair so tightly- only you could see him that way, do that to him. It made you feel truly powerful and oh so wanted. It made you want him. You doubled your efforts and squeezed your cheeks tighter around him as you worked your tongue on the underside of his cock with each motion, forcing him to arch off the seat and audibly gasp at the new sensation; the hand in your hair pulling at it instinctively bringing a lovely sting through your body which bordered right between pleasure and pain you didn’t quite know which was which.

He was close, you both knew it. The way his legs bounced and tensed up intermittently, his breaths had started to race and a thin sheen of sweat covered his face and torso shining in the dim lighting of his studio. Your free hand palmed at his balls, tightened and ready for release, timing the movements perfectly with each bob of your head and the stroke of your hand. He was moaning your name and the sound had you rubbing your thighs together for some sort of relief, your excitement building up throughout your little show. Namjoon’s body had become still and taut, the feeling of euphoria just seconds away from his reach-

“Do you understand yet Namjoon?” you asked, immediately ceasing all your ministrations. Your boyfriend looked at you horrified that his orgasm was denied all for some random ass question that he had completely forgotten what the context was even about in the first place.

“Wha-What? Understand what?” he half asked half begged, cock in the air practically twitching to be stroked and sucked to completion.

“Understand me?” you continued, one fingertip circling the tip and up and down his length to keep him teetering over the edge, not enough stimulus to come but enough to keep him from losing interest. “Do you understand why I love the taste of mint chocolate? Why it’s so delicious to me? Why it’s so nice to share?”

He closed his eyes and breathed through the sensations of your fingertips running lightly over his skin, tracing all the veins that you knew drove him crazy with want. You could see as a million thoughts raced through his mind behind his fluttering eyelids and wondered what exactly he was thinking about. Was he trying to focus on his impending orgasm? Was he thinking of things to hold it off? Was he trying to actually reason why mint chocolate ice cream was worth all of this ‘teaching’ and give you a legible reason to your question?

Your answer came in form of him breathing out a piercing ‘Ha!’ towards the ceiling before launching himself off the seat and onto the ground in front of you. Without preamble he spun you around, the rug burning at your knees but you didn’t have time to complain before a hard smack against your ass stole your breath away. You gasped as you turned back to Namjoon who was grinning at you devilishly, the sweat making his hair stick together and wisps of the newly dyed strands to lay on his forehead making him appear wild and untamed. You opened your mouth to ask what he was doing only to use it to moan as he smacked you again, but this time rubbing the smarting area with the softest of caresses, soothing the sting of it.

“If you are suggesting that this is how you share your ice cream with my team members, I won’t be very impressed-”

“Of course it’s not!-”

“-but I know you would never do that to me. You know you’d be in a world of hurt to even think about it… imagine how you’d have to make it up to me. All those times you shared with my friends and never with me? We would have to fuck double for every time you did. Triple even. Just because I felt like it.” “Na-Namjoon-” “Hush now,” he said placating you, hand still rubbing at the flesh of your ass as his other hand hooked at the side of your panties and drew them down. You knew he was taking in the sight of you, your sex dripping wet and sticking to the material he was pulling away from you torturously slow, enjoying every embarrassing second of it. You could feel your cheeks burning as you rubbed it against your shoulder to hopefully cool down your skin, your dismay finding that it too was smouldering hot. Every piece of you seemed to burn under his scrutiny and you couldn’t find it within you to get yourself out of your position. On all fours, ass in the air and pussy out. If anyone walked in on you both at that moment in time you would have had a very difficult time explaining to them that it was merely an ice cream flavour appreciation lesson.

A rush of pleasure coursed through your body as one finger brushed along your soaked folds, from clit to your dripping entrance, slowly pushing in the tip of his index finger before pulling it back out. You didn’t even know you were holding your breath until you released it as he started the action once more, adding circles of your clit before dipping in more of his finger inside of you. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter under his control, your arms buckling and threatening to make you face plant into the rug from one finger alone.

You were once again given no warning except for the warm breath that fanned against your cunt. One, long, strong lick was all it took for your arms to give way and have you moaning into the floor. Just one. A short puff of breath and a burst of laughter had you picturing a very smug Namjoon wiping the sides of his mouth with manly pride. You hated it but fuck, did you care? No, of course not. All you wanted was to have that sinful mouth back on you so you could keep screaming into rug. May anyone working on the floor beneath you forgive you both.

“Hmm. I’m not sure,” he said thoughtfully, his fingers rubbing at your clit firmly and his thumb worked at your lips, spreading your arousal obscenely. “I think further education on the matter is required. Is your pretty little cunt my favourite dessert or is it mint ice cream eaten off your tits? Let’s call this experiment the baseline for all future experiments.”

His mouth replaced his thumb as you felt his tongue part your folds to lick at your clit before going back to thrust it inside of you, the pliant muscle teasing the sensitive spots it could reach. He knew you so well he almost had your orgasm down to an art form; how fast to rub you and when to lightly pinch your clit, when to stop tongue fucking you and lave away at your pussy as if you were his last meal before death, and when to push two fingers into you and finger you until you were coming for him like a finely tuned instrument. You could feel the familiar pull in your core, the warmth spreading across your body as your pussy began to spasm- this was it, you could remember begging him not to stop, that you were so close, his lewd words in between licks of you tasting sweeter than anything else and-

SMACK!

One loud, resounding slap to the ass was enough to wake you from your near orgasm trance. You almost wanted to cry, it was so good, it was just within your fingertips and the magnificent bastard stole it from you. If you didn’t love him you would have hated him.

“Namjooon!” you heard yourself whine, the slightest twinge in your voice making you sound more upset than you really were. In an instant you were drawn up by strong arms around your waist as he held you close to him, the sweat on his chest making you slip against him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes furiously scanning your face to see if you were hurt.

“Why did you stop?” you pouted, the tears framing your eyes of particular interest to your beau, his clean thumb brushing them away. “I was so close and you stopped.” Namjoon stared at you for a brief second before shaking his head and laughing, he had thought he hurt you, smacked you too hard or pushed you too far and all you were upset about was being made to wait. Sweet, sweet girl.

“So impatient- when have I ever left you wanting?” “Two minutes ago-” he pinched your side playfully when you purposely answered him like a smart ass. “Never.” “That’s right,” he whispered into your ear as his hands found your breasts through your dress, gently kneading them as he peppered the side of your neck with kisses that grew steadily more sordid in nature the lower he got. “Now, why don’t you continue your lesson and help me understand you more- show me how much you want me… to understand you.”

You rolled your hips to find his still-hard cock positioned right below you, the tip teasing you as you drew yourself back and forth over it, your arousal coating him as you moved. You watched as one of his hands moved past the flat of your stomach, his index and middle finger toying at your folds before lazily rubbing your clit again to insure you were more than ready to take him. Your eyes were barely open when his hand disappeared between you both as he helped to guide himself into you, slowly, deliberately taking his damned time to ease his length into you- both of you releasing your breaths when he was fully seated within your tight cunt.

Namjoon held you close as he waited for your walls to adjust to him, one arm curling about your chest to tip your neck back and to the side to give him more access to you with his mouth, the other gently rubbing at your hip to help ground you to him. Full lips murmured sweet unintelligible nothings as they moved over the sensitive skin behind your ear, his laboured breaths telling you just how much of an affect being inside you had on him and how hard he was restraining himself from just pounding mercilessly into you. Not that you would have minded being taken madly at that point.

With a soft ‘Are you ready?’whispered into your ear and his hand from your hip moving back down in front of you, you could do nothing but nod emphatically as those magical fingers of his began to stroke at your clit once more, huffing out a strangled laugh at the feeling of your pussy clenching around him. You moved your hips slowly, back and forth and up and down, making sure to get your rhythm before increasing your speed. You both knew that this wasn’t about making it last, both of you too close to even think about prolonging it anymore.

“That’s it baby, fuck me, ride my cock,” he urged as he squeezed at your neck just that little bit tighter, biting down on the soft skin between your neck and shoulder to make you keen. “Don’t you fucking dare stop or I swear to God I will bend you over and fuck you into the ground until you black out.”

“O-oh? And here I thought you were trying to give me incentive to keep going,” you laughed as you continued your pace nonetheless, your brain muddled with pleasure coming from his fingers and thick cock buried deep inside of you, his lips teeth and tongue still assaulting anything they could reach. A minute passed and there it was, the same coiling inside of you, the warm tingling of your fingers and feet and the bright white light just in the corner of your vision. From the way Namjoon had started to buck up into you as you fell down on to him he wasn’t far off either… just a little more…

“That’s my girl… let me see those lips cry out myname… I wanna hear you scream as I fill you up,” he growled as he began to help you bounce upon his dick, both hands digging into your hips with each and every lift he made as he continued to thrust up inside of you. That was enough to bid your orgasm to come crashing over you, white noise filling your ears as bright colours flashed behind your eyelids. Your hands found themselves tied up in his lush hair pulling at it roughly as you came down from your high. Namjoon’s breathing came out in harsh grunts as his body started to grow rigid, his cock being milked by your convulsing walls, sucking him dry. You could feel him sloppily nuzzle the back of your shoulder as he rested his forehead on the middle of your back, trying hard to get his breath back and blink back the stars that littered his vision.

Prying his hand away from your hips you lifted it up and kissed the back of it in a show of affection, too tired to turn around to try and kiss him. With murmurs of I love you falling from both of your lips you hummed your contentment as you gave his over sensitised cock one final squeeze which earnt you a playful slap to your ass as you moved off of him. Warm liquid slowly flowed out of you as you moved as quickly as you could to find something to wipe up your mess. Finding some napkins on the table from the ice cream parlour you handed half of the wad to Namjoon and kept the other for yourself.

Just as you were about to clean yourself up you heard a quiet but stern no, Namjoon shaking his head and shaking index finger up in the air to stop you as he dutifully cleaned up his soiled jeans and stained floor. You rolled your eyes as you went to move again only to have him repeat his order with an even firmer tone.

“Nuh uh, you stay just like that. I love the idea of our cum painting that perfect cunt of yours just out of sight under that tiny dress,” he smirked as he scooted over to wipe the fluids clean from the inside of your legs, all the while being very careful not to touch a drop from between the apex of your thighs. Unbothered and slightly turned on by the idea you nodded your agreement and simply lay on his new couch without putting your underwear back on, your leg resting over one of the armrests- your painted pussy on full display, taunting him. It was what he wanted right? Namjoon groaned at the temptation you offered as he wiped his face irritably, shaking his head he pushed off the ground to walk towards you. He raised the offending leg up and kissed the inside of your ankle before putting it back down on the main seat of the couch, gently tapping at your arm to silently ask you to move over to make room for him. His much bigger body pushed up against yours until you lay flush with the back of the couch, his arms encircling around you as he nosed the crown of your hair. It never failed to amuse you how strong or rough or kinky your man could be but after everything was done, he would want nothing but to make sure you were okay and that you knew that you were loved without fail. He gently lifted the hem of your dress to gently caress the places where his hands brazenly clasped at your flesh, softly nuzzled into the skin of your neck to make sure he didn’t leave too deep a mark and the shy smile he gave you as he looked into your eyes as if to ask if everything was still okay like you were some precious porcelain doll- he truly was the perfect man.

“So…” you began, as you traced random patterns into his chest, the familiar gesture lulling him into a sleepy state. “Do you understand why I love mint chocolate so much now?” Namjoon chuckled as he drew you closer to place a kiss on your forehead.

“No, not really. I still hate the flavour,” he explained as he watched your reaction go from hopeful to disappointed. “However I understand you much better now. I understand why you like it.” Gazing back up to look him in the eyes you beamed and placed an innocent peck on his lips, causing them to break out into a wide smile. “I also understand a way that I can enjoy the flavour and share it in a way that no one else can.”

“Ahhh see… that is exactly what I wanted to show you. That we can have something all our own,” you said feeling yourself getting lured into the warmth of sleep, there thoroughly sated and safe in his arms. Namjoon made a sound of agreement in the back of his throat as he inhaled deeply to take in the scent of your hair, your sweat, the smell of himself on you and the lingering scent of sweet mint and chocolate between you.

“But still, I will start putting chocolate in my toothpaste just so I can understand the taste better.” “Ah Namjoon-ah!” you cried out as you slapped him on the bicep making him throw his head back in laughter before tightening his hold on you. “Oh before I forget, your ice cream is probably melted now, we gotta put it in the freezer-”

“Oh my ice cream!” he squawked his sleep heavy eyes suddenly snapping open with delight. Rolling over so quickly he couldn’t place his footing on the floor in time, Namjoon crawled over to the table and picked up his tub, still surprisingly cold after being abandoned for so long. Opening the lid carefully his excited face drooped down a little before walking on his knees back to you. “Uh baby… just how much teaching did you have planned for tonight?”

Instead of a mound of thick chocolate brown you were met with pale mint green. Hoseok must have accidentally switched Namjoon’s chocolate ice cream with the tub he had purchased for himself and Kook for the dorms. Damn.

“I dunno Namjoon, do you think you’re able to learn a little more?” you asked as you slowly spread your legs and sat back up on the couch, displaying the very visible reminder of your recent foray into his education. Namjoon smirked as he stuck his finger in the mostly melted cream and painted a straight line from the inside of your knee to the uppermost part of your thighs.

“I told you that I wanted to understand you,” he replied as he painted the other leg to match. Taking one moment to rethink over his impulses he threw caution to the wind and stuck his entire palm in the tub and painted over your neck, his long fingers reaching to colour over your lips and down your breast. You had to bite down on your lip to not moan when his cold fingers found your nipple and pinched it. “I told you, I wanted to understand the taste.”

Ahh so you did, Namjoon so you did.

“Now baby girl, it’s time to pay attention.”

#bts #bts smut #namjoon smut #bts fanfic #rm smut #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #namjoon scenario

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nixxicorn · 3 years

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help i had a dream the other night where i was going to go to the beach but we had to put it on hold because i got into an argument with a snater and i ended up writing that 500 page essay

mom: hey we’re going to go to the beach

me: NOT NOW MY MAN NEEDS ME

#pro snape #i would write that essay but i would need to reread all seven harry potter books #and then remember specific quotes #and it would just be a pain #but oh so worth it to watch every single argument of theirs #crumble apart like a coffee cake

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sharktoraptor · 6 years

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Survivor Daemons

Here’s a whole bunch of blabber that no one asked for about my Dbd daemon AU, featuring the reasoning behind the forms of the survivor’s daemons and a little about their personalities. Why? Because I can and I felt like typing a whole bunch of stuff that no one will read

There are a lot of additional rules and complications for daemons in trials, and I’m probably going to make a separate post both for that and for the Killer’s daemons (or... current lack thereof), because this got VERY long.

And before we get started, here’s a plug for my currently abandoned fic playing with this concept. Ima get back to it at some point.

First off, I had some limits for survivor forms. Their daemons have to be small, and easy to carry around in a trial. Most of them ended up being birds, with a couple of exceptions. Also, only a couple of the names mean anything- I got almost all of them from a fantasy name generator and just picked one that sounded nice.

Dwight and Zefrita

Zefrita (Zeffie) is a mourning dove, and I chose her form for a couple of reasons. Mourning doves are entirely defenseless against their predators (except for natural camouflage) and are therefore very flighty, anxious birds. They are also known for forming close, lifelong pair-bonds, and since Dwight’s perks are all about teamwork and literal bonds between survivors, that seemed to resonate with him.

Zefrita is a very quiet daemon, and only talks to the other survivor’s daemons (and Dwight, of course). While Dwight stammers and hesitates a lot when he’s flustered or anxious, Zefrita only talks when they have enough conviction about something that she can articulate it clearly. So, it’s a pretty big deal if she says something important- it usually means that it is.

Meg and Skiflit

Skiflit (Skif) is a northern goshawk. I used this analysis to come up with his form, mostly because of the interpretations of loyalty, determination/being goal-driven, and assertiveness, which I all think fit with Meg- or at least, my version of Meg, who’s caring but a bit of a hothead.

Skif talks about as much as Meg does, which is quite a lot, especially in fireside arguments. He’s also the most likely to get physical with the other daemons, whether aggressively or for support/comfort.

Jake and Dancha

Dancha (Dawn) is a raccoon, which I just love for Jake for so many reasons and I was so happy that the form analysis worked out. It really boils down to what he said in the actual fic- they’re highly adaptable/resourceful, conflict-avoidant, and independent animals. Their also curious but in a killed-the-cat sort of way, which seems true to Jake’s character to me.

Dawn tends to let Jake do most of the talking, and really only interacts with the original four survivors daemons, sometimes including Nea and Laurie’s daes if she feels up to it. She and Jake are pretty slow to trust, and even though they feel perfectly comfortable around all the survivors (though they clash with Ace) Dawn keeps her interactions to a minimum to stay in her comfort zone. They don’t have much of any comfort left, after all.

Claudette and Laefertes

Laefertes (Laef) is a barn owl, and I actually think I named him after Laertes from Hamlet for some reason? I think I just had the name stuck in my head, no significance to it. The two traits that really stuck out to me for his form were barn owls having a surprising amount of foresight in caching their extra food and their egg care habits, and the analysis I read also listed owls as being very perceptive, for obvious reasons, which fits well with Claudette’s Empathy (perk and trait) to me.

Claudette and Laef are kind of the greeters of the group, so when someone new shows up at the campfire they do all the explaining and “welcome to a Bad Time” talk. Claudette tends to say more comforting things than hard truths, and Laef compliments her by being the opposite- almost anything out of his mouth is what needs to be said, not necessarily what people want to hear.

Nea and Bayonai

Bayonai (Bayo) is a Siamese cat and listen I have a lot of reasons for it. He’s a cat for obvious reasons- Baker literally describes Nea as catlike in the journal entry- as well as cats being generally friendly, but independent for the most part. Siamese cats in particular are known for being loud attention seekers like no other, and we know that Nea was the epitome of Rebellious Teen (tm) in her day. They also tend to be curious (again, in a killed-the-cat sort of way).

Bayo is my favorite daemon of the bunch, probably because I started writing him first. He and Nea are less counterparts of one another than they are the same person divided into two parts. Bayo has a little more of their caution, but he’s like the friend who is saying “this is a terrible idea, oh my god” while filming it. They have street smarts more than school smarts, but Bayo has a little bit of an edge on Nea when it comes to critical thinking.

Laurie and Aurelio

Aurelio (Ori, which accidentally means they’re Laurie and Ori) is a European robin. His name comes from the Latin word for golden. His form was really hard to find, mostly because the original survivors have just a few canon character traits, whereas Laurie Strode has a whole franchise worth of characterization to sort through. I ended up just using Halloween I and II for my form finding. I used this analysis for Aurelio and I don’t have much to say about it, other than I was relieved to finally find a form that fit.

Aurelio and Laurie are Survivors (tm) in the truest sense of the word, so in my ‘verse they’re kind of dry and cynical. Aurelio tends not to talk very much, and when he does he often says things that are too dark for the conversation he’s contributing to, and is reprimanded by Laurie. They had a perfectly normal human-daemon bond before Myers, but it changed after, and they were never the same.

Ace and Kesina

Kesina (Kess or occasionally Kesi) is an American bullfrog. She’s the only reptile form among the survivors. I’m honestly not even going to say anything else about her form, just link to the analysis because IMO it’s so Ace it hurts. Laid-back is the main trait that I like that I don’t see listed as a major point in the analysis, but frogs are chill as fuck.

Kesina says all the sarcastic and biting things that Ace doesn’t, but in a dismissively calm way that gets a rise out of whoever she’s said it to. Not that he wouldn’t, it’s just funnier if she calls Jake a dumbass in Argentine Spanish than if he does. She and Ace talk to each other almost exclusively in that dialect when they’re being snarky or sarcastic, even if they’re doing the “what do you want to have for dinner!?” routine, because no one can understand what they’re saying and it pisses everyone else off.

Bill and Portril

Portril (no nickname) is a summer tanager, a kind of smallish songbird. Frankly there’s not very much personality lore for Bill out there, even in what Left 4 Dead stuff I tried to dig up, so I went with my personal HC’s for him- grumpy and quiet but altruistic and perceptive old man. Here’s the analysis if anyone is actually reading this, but this is more for my own benefit let’s be real. There’s not a ton of real solid behavior for summer tanagers, but I liked what this person wrote so I went with it.

Bill is quiet and Portril is quieter. Bill contributes a few sentences to the conversation at the campfire every now and then, but the majority of the survivors have never heard Portril say a word.

Feng and Maeslin

Maeslin (Maes) is a numbat (google it), and tbh I should have picked a Chinese-sounding name for him, but I’m too attached to Feng having a daemon she calls Mace to change it. I’d never heard of a numbat before form finding for Feng, but I love how well the weird little things fit with her character. Numbats are specialized eaters and ONLY eat termites. They have to eat 20,000 of the things a day to stay alive. What I get out of that is that the are specialized/single-focus type people, like Feng and her gaming, and work really fucking hard to be good/keep at it.

I haven’t done a lot of thinking about Maes’ personality. I think he and Feng are a Chaotic Neutral disaster duo. He’s a very mobile daemon and tends to climb all over Feng, never staying in one place for too long- it’s a habit he learned very quickly to not bring into trials.

David and Ezriana

Ezriana (Ez) is a magnificent frigatebird and it’s SUCH a shame that she’s not male, because the main reason I picked that form for David is because of the absolute pompous showoffs that male frigatebirds are with that throat pouch of theirs. Frigatebirds are also known for being opportunistically aggressive and basically getting into fights with other species of coastal birds to steal their catches. There’s some more, non-fighty traits that made me decide on frigatebird for Ezriana, but those are really the two main reasons I picked it.

Ezriana is kinda the “kick his ass baby I got yo flower” of the pair, and she always tends to kind of stay out of the thick of it, circling overhead and yelling out insults and encouragement. Her actual personality is pretty laid back when not in conflict mode, and she’s pretty good for conversation around the campfire. Her way of talking is a little more... coherent.. than David, who’s excitable and can get a little carried away.

Quentin and Nynta

Nynta (Nyn, pronounced Nihn) is an earwig. Earwigs are tough little insects and are very adaptable and actually protect their eggs and then care for their young, showing a lot of duty and dedication. I think that fits with what I managed to gather of Quentin’s role in NoES 2010, which I haven’t actually watched. Additionally, fitting into the daemonverse, earwigs are very small, and Quentin keeps Nynta in a lanyard, so that Freddy and no one else has any possible access to touching her.

Nynta never talks, period. No one knows what her and Quentin’s relationship is like, taking into consideration Laurie and Aurelio’s slightly trauma-damaged bond, but everyone knows that Nynta probably doesn’t trust anyone. They’ve never seen her outside of her clear plastic lanyard, which locks from the inside with a one digit combination that only Nynta can open. I imagine she probably settled during the events of NoES 2010.

Tapp and Soliel

Soliel (Sol) is a Florida scrub jay. Scrub jays are committed birds, both to their mates and their territory, and keen and clever observers of what happens in their area and to their things (food caches and stuff). These to me seem like good traits to match a detective’s personality. These birds are also highly specialized to their environment, though, and are unadaptable- that combination of traits makes sense, because Tapp became borderline obsessed with the Saw case in his lore.

Soliel is as focused as her human is, and accepts facts and information readily. Being older than most of the others, she tends not to talk too much unless they’re having an interesting discussion, rather than a time-killing or social conversation.

Kate and Torelian

Torelian (Tori) is a fennec fox. Fennec foxes are super extroverted and sociable animals, and tough critters that are well adapted for going long periods of time without commodities, but not without other people around them. Kate traveled a lot for her music career, but she seems to me like a caring and outgoing person that really connected with her fans. He also matches her aesthetic, and is a cute/attractive form- perfect for a performer’s daemon.

Torelian is as much of a performer as Kate. He can’t play and instrument, but they can sing duets and are, of course, completely in sync at all times. It’s great for cheering up the campfire after rough trials and moments of (extra) hopelessness. He’s a good ear to talk to and offers wholesome advice.

Adam and Samia

Samia (no nickname) is a northern cardinal. I chose the form this morning and frankly I’m tired of resummarizing bird analyses at this point, so here ya go.

I’ve done no character exploration for Samia yet, might edit this when/if I come up with some more for her. Most of the daemons outside the first five or six I’ve done more developing here than otherwise, so we’ll see!

If you got this far you’re my new favorite human, and thank you for listening to my impassioned rambling about my two current hyperfixations mashed into one <3

#dbdaemons #dbd #daemon au #dead by daylight #my post #my writing #i wouldnt have put this in the tags but then I spent like an hour furiously typing so here #take my garbage #im so so so sorry to mobile users this is a longass post

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johnnygoinspain · 3 years

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Weekly Update of My Experiences

JUNE

June 1

We worked for roughly 1 and a half weeks during March but we had to close down since COVID affected a large portion of Madrid which was an hour drive away to Toledo. In addition to that, the government mandated that all restaurants temporarily close down. June 1 we started working again which was a breath of fresh air since we were stuck in the apartment for roughly around 2 weeks. I was with Aaron, Martin and Miko.

June 8

I was assigned with Aaron in the cold kitchen. It was my wish to work both alacarte and degustation so I was very happy to be able to see how Ivan would have done a la carte. I was working initially with Antonio. He’s this huge hairy dude and he seems scary at first but he has a heart of a teddy bear. It was us three there. We handled roughly around 10-12 dishes. 4 of which were desserts. I immediately loved the work ‘cus I love sweets!

June 15

I was tasked to do most of the appetizers. There were a lot of components that was in one single dish so we’d go to work at around 3PM. It was summer time so the sun set at around 9 which was when people would usually have dinner. We had 5 hours to prepare everything daily. It was mostly cutting fruits, making sauces and cutting fish as well.

June 22

I was gaining the trust of Antonio. He would just leave me alone which was a compliment for me because he didn’t have to check up on my work and he knew that at 8PM everything was already prepared. Alberto, the sous chef had me make this Bonito skewer. I enjoyed it because I was given more responsibilites which made me feel good that I was doing something right.

June 29

Antonio had to leave for Malaga. Ivan was opening another restaurant there. It was by the beach and he needed someone he could trust. So right now it’s just Aaron and I. It’s fine we were working like clockwork. We could handle it but it would be nice to have one more guy to help us out.

JULY

July 6

A new dude arrived. He’s 6ft. And 250 lbs. At least, he seems scary. But they told us that his name was Rami and he used to be the sous chef of this Michelin starred chef somewhere south of Spain. He used to work for Ivan but was called to head a different restaurant, if it were me too I wouldn’t have let the opportunity pass.

July 13

OK I was mistaken, Rami is the funniest guy in the world. He would crank up old Spanish songs and he would dance to them while working with Aaron and I! He is a blast to be with but he’s more strict that Antonio. But he is super fun and I enjoy going to work because of him!

July 20

Oh I don’t think I mentioned that a few weeks back Jose, a guy who just started working for events in Cigarral joined our team too. We started hanging out in the living room because he also lives far from Toledo so Ivan offered the apartment too. He sleeps with Martin. We watched Ready Player One the first day because I got bored and we immediately hit it off! We would hang out every day in the living room and he’d play the shows in Spanish but he was considerate enough to put in English subtitles for me. I learned Spanish faster because of him. He wants to be a philosopher after he’s saved enough money from working as a chef. He’s super funny and he’s an air head just like me but when we talk about life we could also dwell in deeper about philosophy and the human condition.

July 27

Things are picking up us three Filipinos: Aaron, Miko and I would make croquettes every week. We’re getting faster now we have a system. We’d make around 2000 croquettes because it’s being marketed as the best Croquettes in the world. They won a competition for it so whenever guests would order, they had to make sure that they got these creamy Iberian goodness. Talk about good marketing if you ask me.

AUGUST

August 3

We did this wedding event which for me was completely fine but the whole team had issues with this one girl, Sandra. She’s very tomboy-ish. It’s a bit of a tougher scene for women to get in the culinary world which is for me is complete rubbish. But I am proud of her for being straightforward and saying what she thinks we’re doing wrong. But I guess the others didn’t take it so kindly. Paco, the head of the a la carte restaurant who’s also the head of Events, called all of us and sat us down. It was a very heated argument but I admire Paco for trying to resolve things before it completely goes sideways.

August 10

Today I would just like to share that I like throwing the trash. Because at this time the sun is already setting, everyone’s getting ready for service and I get to drive the buggy and the view going to the sortation are is a very peaceful and refreshing experience.

August 17

Rami and I fought today. It was a misunderstanding but the pressure got to the both of us because we were serving a lot of customers today. It’s the weekend so it was inevitable that we’d all be pressured. I messaged him the night after we all went home. My friend Jose told me I didn’t do anything wrong. It was really just miscommunication with the language barrier and body language I guess. It’s all fine now, we hugged the day after and he told me that he respected and loved me as a little brother. My heart was warm and happy.

August 24

Rami, and us 3 Filipinos Martin, Aaron and I- went to Madrid today! Rami was super funny because it had been ages since he went to Madrid. We ate this really good tomato that was super sweet and fruity! The Spaniards really do value their produce, more so with their tomatoes! Rami kept on nudging my shoulders whenever a pretty girl would pass him by which was literally every 5 seconds! We capped the night by sitting down in Sol where there was a huge fountain and people just talking, passing by and just living their lives. Rami shared with Aaron and I his life and how much he’s been through but amidst all of it he’s happy that he’s a chef. He gave us a few words of wisdom which to summarize was that we just had to keep going. Because it was something that we loved doing. Keep mastering our craft and people will notice and we’ll be successful in our own ways sooner or later. It was a good night.

August 31

Martin enjoyed last weekend so he brought us to this place he and his family loved called Sacha, a Repsol-starred restaurant. One thing I noticed about their food is their produce is super good to begin with. So they need not baste the produce with sauces. They simply heightened the natural flavors of the food. We had really good dishes like stingray, bamboo clams, crabs, beef marrow and much more! It was an unforgettable experience and I enjoyed every single moment of it.

SEPTEMBER

September 7

We had a 2 week break prior to the start of the Tasting Menu again by Ivan. So we had to bid good bye to our friends from the Terraza, both waiters and chefs alike. It was bitter-sweet but then again I’m glad to have felt sad about it ending right? Miko, Aaron and I went to San Sebastian for a couple of days. We enjoyed the beach, the hikes, the Basque country was a beauty to behold. We ate a lot of tapas which they’re known for an I got to try the best cheesecake in the world! Or so they say. I still like mine denser and creamier. Theirs were a bit lighter with no crust. But overall I enjoyed the much deserved trip. I’d say this was the calm before the storm. Degustacion would be a whole different ball game and I was up for it!

September 14

I got to work with Maria. She’s the best! I used to work with Carlos who used to be head of desserts but then he was still in Malaga with Antonio. Maria is the best boss ever because she just lets you do your own thing and she doesn’t breathe down your neck. Because of it I was forced to prove myself and learn everything that was needed by the team.

September 21

Maria and I were getting along so much. And Alberto, the sous chef, would always drop by our spot. He’s the best human being to ever walk this earth. He’s humble, he’s as we call a “puta makina” which is a term they’d say if you’re like a machine in the kitchen. I’m 100% sure Ivan wouldn’t have gotten the Michelin star if not for him.

September 28

I started messing with Maria telling her I didn’t need her anymore during service and she can go down the kitchen to do production or for her to rest. I was very comfortable with her now and during service we’d talk about anything and everything. My Spanish was getting better and she would understand English too. So I’d speak in Spanish and she’d respond in English! We were both learning a lot from each other. We even reached a point where we’d talk about our love life and the people we both used to date! But that’s our secret!

October

October 5

The place was starting to get cold. Speaking of cold, I would handle 5-6 flavors of ice cream because most of our postres had ice cream in them so I had a bright idea and I made 20kilos worth of each ice cream flavor. Maria laughed at me and I though she was gonna get mad but she found it adorable and commended me for it! We don’t work hard, we work smart!

October 12

I went to Madrid and visited Santerra with Martin and my best friend Jose. Jose knew the owner of Santerra and it’s also a Repsol starred restaurant. The food was even better than Sachas! I missed Jose so much he even drove me back to Toledo. He’s a great guy and I’m glad I got to meet him. He told me he wanted to visit the Philippines soon and I told him that he could stay at my place if ever so he can spend the money on food and gifts!

October 19

This week was tiring! On top of that the water in our apartment got messed up so we had to put water in buckets and bring it all the way back to the apartment. People are starting to frequent the restaurant again which is good. Ivan’s face previously was so pale cus he kept on worrying about his businesses.

October 26

Maria and I would make so much extra breads, sauces, ice cream, and every component of our dishes to the point that we didn’t have much to do. I would say that we were doing really well in our Partida or station. We never encountered any problems with production and service and we’d always be in a good mood. I couldn’t say it for the others but I’m just glad that I was paired up with Maria! We were even joking every time then on that we’d make anything I’d say “Eso es para dos mil bente uno!” (This is for 2021!) And we’d just laugh the whole time we’d make anything more. Rami even got mad at us for filling up half of the walk in freezer! But then again it was really our station so we’d just laugh about it afterwards.

November 1

We were informed that the COVID numbers in Spain were spiking again. This was due to the cold weather where people would stay indoors and the likelihood of the spread of virus was easier then. A week ago Paula, a new intern, joined Maria and I and she was really good. So knowing that I’d be leaving soon I knew that Maria was not gonna encounter any problems which is what I was worried about. We were supposed to end our internship by the end of November but it seems it will be cut short to mid November instead. What sucks is that we planned to go visit the North with Jose and Maria but it looks like it’s impossible with the borders closing down. Maybe next time, I’m definitely sure this won’t be the last time I’ll see my family.

November 8

This was our last week. It was bittersweet but I am happy and genuinely grateful for this experience. I even wrote a hidden message to Maria in one of the Vaccum sealed plastics with Helado de Keso. I hope she sees it soon. I took pictures with everyone in the team and with that, I said Hasta Luego. That word means a lot to me because it is how they say good bye but it directly translates to “Until next time.” It’s never gonna be a good bye with them, I’m definitely gonna see them soon. I have learned so much from my experience here. Not just in work but with the world, myself and with life. I am happy.

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imaginativemarvel · 7 years

Text

Inseparable Love - Loki x Reader

Summary: Loki & (Y/N) have been secretly together for years. One day Tony eggs (Y/N) on about getting into a relationship until she cracks, eventually revealing that she is in a relationship with the villain who once tried to take over the world.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word count: 3.5K

A/N: Sorry I've been kinda inactive, school has just started for me and I'm kinda trying to get on schedule and figure everything out! As always, requests are open but please be patient with me! I'd love to write your stories but at the same time, I have my own ideas. I'm open to anything as long as it isn't morally wrong (: thank you for reading!

Masterlist

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"I just don't understand, (Y/N). You're such a pretty girl with fantastic abilities and an amazing personality, why are you still single?" Sam tilted his head to the side as he took a bite of his waffle.

You were standing by the counter top pouring yourself some morning coffee as everyone else sat around the kitchen eating. It started off with the topic of Tony and Pepper getting back together, and then to Sharon, then to Jane and so forth. Eventually the topic led onto you, as for you were one of the only avengers without any love interest, or any excuse to avoid that.

"You know me; I'm too busy with work. I don't have time for a relationship." Swiftly, you poured some sugar and creamer into your mug before giving it a swirl.

"Most of us Avengers have a relationship on the side of saving the world, I'm sure you could. You could probably use it too. Say, when was the last time you were in a relationship?" Tony lifted up a mini pancake before dipping it into syrup and taking a bite. A smirk played onto his lips as he practically saw the steam of frustration blow out of your ears.

"Okay first off, I not only work on Avenger missions but I do side missions with S.H.I.E.L.D. or anything to help fight crime. Second off, what do you mean I could use it? Lastly, my last relationship is none of your concern." You spat your words back at him, growling angrily. You had turned your back to the counter to lean on it; In that moment, you spotted your raven haired boyfriend sitting in the corner, legs crossed and a book in hand. As much as you knew that he loved to read, his mind was too busy focusing on the ongoing discussion.

"Ouch. Did I hit a soft spot?" Tony giggled at the sound of your madness, only making you more furious. You weren't that much of an open person, you only told the others things about you when it was necessary. Tony knew that and you felt disrespected when he didn't stop.

"Maybe she just hasn't found the one, why rush her?" Steve shifted in his chair before speaking up on the others behave. Everyone agreed with Steve, but nobody wanted to join in the argument for it wasn't theirs to fight. Not only that but they knew they wouldn't be able to convince him to stop.

"I'm not rushing! I'm just suggesting that she should leave the tower sometimes and have fun by herself and meet new people and just maybe then she'll find someone worth her time!" Tony raised his voice in defense before drinking his whole glass of milk.

"Okay, and what if I already have?" Everyone's movement stopped, nobody dared to move, as if one move could kill them. You laughed dryly before taking a sip of your drink and rolling your eyes, how pathetic. Why was something that didn't matter to anyone have such a significant value?

"Are you implying you've already found a Domestic partner? Significant other? Boyfriend? Or are you guys already like secretly married or something? Who is he? Wait! Is it a she? We don't judge here you know-" Tony's voice rambled on and on to the point where even Thor was annoyed.

"Stark, I suggest leaving the topic alone." Thor set his spoon down in his bowl of cereal making a loud noise and his sentence more dramatic.

"Yeah. I have, but once again, tin man, anything to do with myself and personal information is none of your concern." You silently thanked Thor with a nod but answered Tony's question. You knew he wouldn't drop it, so you closed your eyes before taking another sip of coffee.

"I suggest you leave it at that, Tony. She clearly doesn't want to speak about it." Vision levitated through the kitchen island before patting you on the back, agreeing with you.

"Yeah, but if I pressured her enough to reveal she is in a relationship, then maybe I can pressure more out of her? Or is it that you're lying to get me off your back?" He gave his signature smirk, obviously trying to piss you off. Sam laughed before shaking his head "Pure logic, Stark."

"Seriously, Stark. It had nothing to do with you, why do you care so much?" You slammed your mug down onto the counter before staring him in the face.

"Well, I have to keep myself updated with my team, their lives and how they are mentally." It's not like he lied, he does check up with all his teammates, but that doesn't mean he can bug personal information out of you.

"You don't know them."

"I know a lot of people."

"We don't keep secrets in this tower, (Y/N)." Rhodey walked up beside Tony and stole a waffle, joining his side as always.

"We don't? Oh okay, so hiding the fact that you know your best friends parents killer isn't a secret? Or maybe hiding that you're creating artificial intelligence that'll eventually try to take over the world? I'm sorry, Tony, Rhodey. I truly did not know that my relationship is much more than innocent lives being taken. Please, if you'll excuse me." You sipped the rest of your coffee before setting it in the sink, walking out of the kitchen and to your room.

Normally, you wouldn't let people get to you. You promised you would never speak of the relationship to anyone. He was a criminal and you were a hero. He explained to you how if you revealed the hidden relationship, your career could be over. What type of hero would fall for a villain? Was it possible? You thought it was. Why? Because every person has a bit of good in one, and if a villain shows you that good, then they value you in some way.

It all started off when Loki was brought to the tower for help on a mission that only he could access. It went well and even though he helped save the world months after trying to destroy it, they still kept him as a prisoner. Thor claimed he was staying on Earth for a while and so Loki was kept on a bottom floor in the tower. You didn't respect Loki when he tried to take over the world, but you did gain respect for him when he helped on the mission. Nobody else respected him, it was only you, so you took charge on giving him meals and provide him things with what he needs.

Every day you would cook yourself a meal and make extra for him, every day you would escort him to the bathroom and stand guard of the room so he couldn't escape and every day you would treat him like any living thing should be treated. Even thought you knew he looked down on you, and you knew he didn't want to admit that he appreciated the kind gestures, you continued to do it. Why? Because you respected him. Nobody would have done it, so you did.

Each member in the tower looked down on Loki, like some pest, or like noting entirely. He received only lectures from his brothers, glares from the members (or nothing at all from them), and he received the attention from you. That's what made him fall in love with you. As days went on, he became less reluctant on eating your food or staying at your side. It got to the point to where he would even start a conversation with you, and you'd sit and eat lunch with him through the glass screen.

He learned to love you laugh, your smile, anything you did. He learned to love that you were snappy and gave him snarky remarks to the ones he'd give you. He learned to love how you were the perfect example of a goddess, how he wouldn't hesitate to bow down to you if you were his ruler because you were too good to be true. Even though you were human, he still believed you were more worthy than himself. A human over a god, it was a concept, but he learned to understand it.

As years went on, he kept living at the tower. Eventually you got Stark to create a device to track his movements and restrict him from certain areas so he could roam anywhere. He wasn't allowed to use magic or any type of physical violence unless in the gym and eventually received his own room on one of the top floors with the rest of the Avengers. You convinced them all of it, and even if the team was hesitant, they knew you wouldn't lie and knew what was best. You believed he deserved it, so they were convinced as well.

After months went by, Loki eventually started to go on missions with specific team members, specifically you because you both worked well together.

And close as you both were, nobody really knew. The only times you'd talk to each other were when nobody was watching; the only time you'd talk about each other is if it was work related or just mention of the topic. Of course you'd both visit each other's rooms, but it had been so long and Loki became trusted that Tony or Vision didn't really track his every movement.

So naturally, they didn't expect you both to be so close. If anything, they'd expect you to be with someone like Sam or Steve because they were your training partners and easy friends. You knew they slowly became to trust Loki but the media didn't. Society still believed he was a horrible man who was locked in the bottom of a secured base of S.H.I.E.L.D., or even better, in Asgard. But no, he was living a free and nice life with the Avengers in Stark Tower.

Considering you were a trained assassin and he was the God of Mischief who can hide anything and everything, it was so secretive that even Thor wasn't aware of your relationship. But it eventually went downhill from Tony's eagerness on getting juicy information out of you.

The moment you walked out of the kitchen to your room, anyone could sense the frustration and anger emerging from your form. Loki stood up and gently set hit plates and silverware into the sink before following you in the direction to your room. It wouldn't have been suspicious if his room was in the same direction, but his room was down another hall, so the others raised their eyebrow at the mysterious man following his secretive girl.

Tony stared at the doorway you both had walked out of before sighing and setting his fork onto his plate. "Bingo."

"No. There's not a chance in Valhalla that my brother has anything to do with Lady (Y/N). I'd know, he was probably just on his way to the gym or something. She's too good for him, he knows that." Thor stood up before setting his dirty dishes into the sink and giving Tony the eye.

"Hey, Vision. What room is Loki in?" Vision looked up from his seat, staring off into space. "Currently walking to the end of the D wing, sir."

"Right next to (Y/N)'s room?"

"Precisely." Tony clapped his hands once before turning to Thor and giving him a smile. "Interesting, right, Point Break?"

"She did help my brother. She did a lot for him, he's probably just returning the favor." Thor once again denied the possibility of his brother being in a relationship with you, he wouldn't buy it.

Tony tapped his watch before looking at a projector coming from the device. He scrolled until he came across Loki's location log. "And does Loki return the favor a lot?" The log showed his whereabouts for the latest month, most of them being located in your room.

"There isn't anyone who has done things for him like (Y/N) has. She's the only one who has helped him despite his past, I wouldn't be surprised if they were good friends."

Tony stroked his beard. "Huh, interesting."

- You sat on the edge of the bed, hand in your hair and resting on your knees. There was a pounding sensation running through your head as you tried to forget what had happened moments ago. If there was a knock on the door and your lovers voice came through, the secret would be out. You sat there moment after moment, hoping the knock didn't come through, but your luck wasn't good enough. There was a light tap on the door as you lifted your head and sighed.

"(Y/N). It's me." His beautiful voice sung through the door in a concerning way. Loki was too smart, he wouldn't have just walked to your room after your blow-up in a quick manner, it would have given Tony his answer. Loki wouldn't have done that if he didn't want the secret out. The real question was... did he want them to know?

You slowly stood up before adjusting your shirt and walking towards the door, opening it with a small smile.

"Hey. Sorry about all of that, today's just not the day for me I guess."

His hand reaches down to your cheek before pulling you in for a small kiss. You grabbed his hand and led him in your room in silence. His arms slid up your sides as he sat himself down on the edge of your bed and pulling you into his chest, hand running in your hair.

"No worries, love. We all have those days, you should know that I have more than most people. So I understand, no need to worry." His voice soothed your aching headache as his hands massaged your scalp.

"No, I shouldn't have. Now that you've came to my room, they probably know that you're the one I was talking about."

"It was bound to be revealed eventually. If they don't like it, so what? Their opinions won't separate me from you, and if I am separated from you..." His words trailed off as he furrowed his eyebrows, feeling the pain he would endure if you both ever were to separate.

"Just because we're separated physically doesn't mean you're not with me still, you'll always be with me. And if your taken in, I'll take you out. I'm on the side of justice, and you've earned your freedom. If they don't realize that, then I guess I'll just join your side. Whichever side that is." He smiled slightly before tilting his head down to face yours, lifting your face up with his free hand.

"Evil?" His word made you giggle before you shrugged and ran your hand down his neck. "I can assure you, darling, that I'm not as evil as before."

"And if you were, I wouldn't be in your lap right now." You bent your legs a bit and pulled yourself closer to him, arms wrapped around each other.

"You know, I wouldn't have changed if it weren't for you." The soft side of Loki brought a smile to your face. You may have changed him, but he changed you as well. Both for the better.

"And I wouldn't have helped you if you didn't agree to help us on that mission." He chuckled, the vibration running through both of your bodies.

"I'm glad I did. I love you."

"I love you more."

"I love you most."

His lips tilted towards yours before coming to a stop. There was a knock at your door, both of you widened your eyes towards each other before mentally cursing yourselves. "They know, right? Just stay here, I'll answer it."

You stood from his lap, his hands drop from your hips when your distance was far. The moment you opened the door, you plastered a fake smile on your face and faced the God of Thunder. "Hello, Thor. Can I help you?"

"I wanted to see if you were okay... and to ask why Loki was here." His hand raised to ruffle the bottom of his hair and rub his neck in awkwardness. You gave him a smile before placing a hand on your hip and leaning against the door frame. "He was cheering me up, something nobody else would do. Is that a problem?"

Thors eyes widen before he shook his head and held his hands up in defense. "No, no. That's fine, it's great really. I'm glad to see my brother find someone."

"Yeah. He's a good friend, glad he isn't like what he was years ago." You giggled before hearing a small laugh come from the back of your room, a bigger smile raised to your face as you heard the familiar tone.

"Exactly. I just wanted to thank you, and if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here." Thor sent you a smile before turning, only to stop in his tracks by your words.

"Stark isn't listening from behind the corner, is he? I bet he sent you here to see if I'm dating Loki because he followed me to my room." You peered out from the frame of your door before crossing your arms and squinting your eyes at the god.

"Well, yes." He sheepishly grinned before covering his mouth "No, I meant no-"

"Well then tell him yes." He stopped in his tracks before giving you a questioning look. "Yes what?"

"That I'm dating Loki. For a while now, actually. I hope that satisfies him enough, since he was so eager to know. And now that he knows, Loki and I don't need to be bothered by him anymore. Well, unless it has to do with a mission." Thor froze before stiffly shifting his weight to his other leg and stuttering.

"I- yeah. Yeah! That's good, I'll tell him. Congratulations?" His eyebrow lifted, not really knowing what to say.

"You're a couple years late, but thank you, Thor. Anyways, Lokis waiting for me, I'll see you later?" He nodded his head and opened his mouth to respond, but arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you toward a body. Thors eyes looked at the hands around you, making him completely blank on what he was about to say. Loki rested his head on your shoulder before giving you a kiss on the cheek and looking up at his brother. "Yes brother, please leave us."

"Oh- yes! Of course. Yes, see you both ... later?" He stood there, idiotically, not moving. After a moment of silence, Loki sighed before lifting up one of his arms and slamming the door in his brothers face, earning a giggle from you. He smiled, laughed loudly and quickly lifted you up and raced you to the bed. You squealed as he plopped you down and attacked your neck.

"A couple of years? Seriously?" Tony walked over to the couch before sitting next to Natasha, staring at everyone as their jaws touched their laps.

"That's what she said, I have to admit, I'm surprised Loki kept it a secret for so long." Thor swiftly lifted his mug before taking a drink of his beverage.

Natasha straightened her back before slouching again and hearing her back crack. "She kept it a secret because she'd know how you guys would react. He tried to take over the world while she was defending it, what could her excuse be?"

"Tony also tried to take over the world." Steve's voice ringed from the hallway, soon trailing in next to Sam and gracefully sitting down.

"Unintentionally."

"Well, either way we should be happy for them. They kept it a secret because they knew what we'd think. We're their friends, their teammates. Shouldn't we at least respect their decision?" Wanda adjusted her position on the couch and laid her legs on Visions lap.

"I guess," Tony crossed his legs and stared at the floor. "It's still kind of hard to accept it, though."

Thor stood up before downing the rest of his drink and looking at Tony. "My brother seemed different, truly happy. I'll approve of their relationship."

"Even if you didn't, they wouldn't stop." Sam spoke up, earning a nod from Steve and Nat. "Yeah, they're too stubborn for that shit."

"They make each other happy. Let's be happy for them, they both needed a connection and they found it. Maybe it completes them and makes them better people." Said Nat loud and firmly, earning a glare from Clint. "Yeah, Nat. But he also tried to take over the world... and my mind... and everyone else's."

"It's been like 5 years, Legolas. Get over it."

"Well, whatever it is, I hope that was worth it Stark. She seemed pissed." Steve leaned back in the couch, giving his signature stone-cold expression.

"She'll be fine. We just have to show her, and Loki, that we support her. She may have thought we wouldn't have, but we do. Even if she will grow old loving the rock of ages, we'll accept it." Tony was trying to be a supportive friend, but he couldn't help but roll his eyes a little. Sam sat up and clapped his hands, a huge smile spreading across his face.

"Damn right we will, it's what friends are for."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ Tags: @saltbagpooky @iamwarrenspeace @txcountrybelle @nadtandy @feelmyroarrrr @xabeautifultragedyx @ginger-wayward-assbutt

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