#friendship anxiety

[bigbroadvice]

hi! this is perhaps a silly one, but any tips for dealing with anxiety with regards to friendships? to elaborate, i know logically my friends do care about me, and that i care about them, but for some reason the past little while ive been getting mad anxiety spikes about if they really want me around or not. Anyway, since i know deep down this is ridiculous and yet the anxiety remains do you have any tips for getting rid of it? im just concerned that it could end up causing actual problems for the friendships, if that makes sense. Thank you for your time, hope you have a nice day! (also would like to add, my friends are wonderful people and i love them to bits, which is why i care so much about fixing this :))

Hey friend, I’ve struggled with this one too. For me, being open and honest and encouraging others to do so as well is probably the most helpful thing. When I’ve been hanging out for a while with a friend and I start getting worried that maybe they’re tired or kind of need to get to some other things, I ask. And not in a “am I boring you to tears? Are you sick of me?” kind of way that only really gives them one valid option without sounding like an asshole, but in a casual “hey, just checking in. How’s your social battery doing? When do you need to leave by?” kind of way where whatever answer they give, it’s not a reflection of the state of our friendship, it’s just a practical “nah, I don’t have anywhere to be till 9, or yeah, it’s been a long day and I’m kind of spent.”

This kind of thing works pretty well for most anxieties I get about how things are going with friends. Just ask in a way that lets them answer honestly without worrying about hurting your feelings. And yeah, once people get into the practice of really being honest with eachother, occasionally they’ll say a thing that’s kind of makes you feel a bit deflated, but at least now you know and even a dissapointing answer that stings a little is drastically easier to deal with than the billion horror scanarios your brain can come up with to stress over.

If you really can’t stop thinking about it, even after they’ve told you it’s all good, and it’s causing significant anxiety, you may want to get checked out for OCD. A friend of mine has it and this is a thing she deals with a lot where a thought will get stuck in her head and no amount of reassurance can make her stop stressing about it. She has meds and things that help though.

#big bro advice #my ​friend an I have this maxim that what actually is is never as bad as what could be #because it could be a billion different improbable things #but reality can only be one thing at a time #mental health #friends #ocd #ocd tag #anxiety #friendship #friendship advice #friendship anxiety #interpersonal skills #interpersonal communication #neurodivergent community #communication

[amberistrans12321]

me core

#friendship anxiety

[whisper-in-the-dark]

it's one of those days

nothing bad happened, like at all

and yet...

sigh

why? do i Overthink?

i ruin my friendships

i wish i could be honest

more honest than i should be

i want to look them in the eye and say it.

i am scared of losing you.

I'm half convinced you hate me.

i said i love you and you replied with ilyt once

made me feel like you didn't mean it

i said i love you and you replied with love you too one time

made me feel like you didn't mean it

in all honesty, i want to be special to you

i don't mind you having other friends, of course not

i have other friends of my own

but

if you're my number one friend

i want... to be your number one friend too

so when I think rationally,

i know you don't hate me

i know you're not completely sick of me

i think

but.. but even if you do love me, i..

i don't know if you love me as much as i.. love you

i feel stupid

i feel stupid when i love a lot

because maybe i just love too much

i always ask myself this question

it popped in my head when i was ten

do i love too much, or am i not loved enough?

i... i don't know

i might be selfish, actually

i want you all for me in the sense of

i want you to love so much

i want you to love me so much you feel weird if we don't talk for more than two days

sometimes just one

i want you to love me so much that you worry if i love you as much

i want you to love me so much that you can't imagine your life without me

i want you to love me so much that you tell me and remind me of it whenever you can

i want you to love me so much that you love me like i love you

but... what if I'm too much?

what if i can't even be loved like that?

what if my way of loving is simply wrong

what if I'm asking for more than i could ever get?

because... no should love like that in the first place

as I'm writing this i realize

god I'm tiring

of course everyone i love will eventually get tired of me

my anxiety controls my life

i. i need affirmation

i need affirmation that you love me

i want to see it

i want to hear it

they say actions speak louder than words

and that may be true but words speak so loudly too

i want. i want someone to just. know my needs

without me telling them what they are

because if i do tell them,

it will be annoying

they will get annoyed.

if i don't tell them,

they won't know

and i can't tell them

because i feel stupid

because I'm giving so much and...

what if they don't give it back?

god i love attention

i love attention not from crowds

but from the people i give my most attention to

when my anxiety overcomes me i

i try to shut it down

i tell myself to stop

to think reasonably

i tell myself i know that's not true,

i tell myself i know I'm not that unwanted,

i tell myself I'm overanalyzing and overthinking because i am

i know that.

well then...

if i know it, why...

why don't i?

it goes on for days

it goes on for weeks

i think that friendship is over

i.. sit in a corner

i can't rest until... until i get confirmation that my thoughts are... just that. thoughts.

i need it to come from them.

i want to get confirmation from them.

but then if i ask them... i can't

because if their reply is one word too short i will overthink it

i will fall in this spiral again

if their reply is on point... that rarely happens

and i want to scream I WANT A LOT

i want a lot from you

because that's how much I'm giving you

i want you to tell me, in a long paragraph,

with many words,

tell me,

tell me you love me and

and you love me as much as i love you

and i feel cruel

because... am i clingy?

is this toxic?

am i wrong?

i could be. how would i know?

is it anxiety or common sense?

and then if i do ask them,

i will question everything later

and have to ask them again

and... they're annoyed, aren't they?

i mean... i don't know... i would get annoyed too

would i? maybe.

but maybe i wouldn't let them doubt in the first place

and maybe i never met someone as anxious and paranoid and loving and emotional as me

so i wouldn't know

I'm sorry

i want. so much from you

i don't know if that's wrong

i guess that's just... my way of loving you

and. what if it's wrong?

claire k - stars

#poetry #poems #anxiety #anxious #anxious thoughts #tw anxiety #tw anxious #cw anxiety #friendship #friendships #anxiety friendship #friendship anxiety #platonic love #platonic #platonic relationships #love languages #love #friends #best friends #wanting attention #wanting #words of affirmation #lost #tw selfhate #long poems #honesty #honest

[finding-hope-strength-courage]

Shared From Instagram, Not My Own Post.

#Mental Health #Mental Health Awareness #Mental Health Matters #Mental Health Understanding #Anxiety #Friendship Anxiety #Instagram

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

#anxiety #anxiety tag #friends #friendship #mental health #memes #meme #lol #funny #tweets #tweet #twitter

[reasonsforhope]

"It's easy to lose touch with friends, especially when you live far apart. And sometimes the longer you've gone without speaking to someone, the harder it feels to pick up where you left off. However, a new study suggests that reaching out to pals—especially ones that you have not talked to in a while—is even more appreciated than initially thought.

“People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others. Yet, despite the importance and enjoyment of social connection, do people accurately understand how much other people value being reached out to by someone in their social circle?” the study asks. To answer this question, the authors gathered 5,900 participants and put them through a series of experiments.

In one scenario, half of the participants were asked to remember the last time they contacted a friend they had fallen out of touch with, then estimate on a seven-point scale how appreciative the person was (with one being the lowest score, and seven being the highest). Then, the other half of the participants were prompted to recall a time when someone had reached out to them and assign a number to how grateful they were. When these two groups were compared, the researchers found that people greatly underestimated the value of reaching out to someone.

“Across a series of preregistered experiments, we document a robust underestimation of how much other people appreciate being reached out to,” the authors continue. “We find evidence compatible with an account wherein one reason this underestimation of appreciation occurs is because responders (vs. initiators) are more focused on their feelings of surprise at being reached out to. A focus on feelings of surprise in turn predicts greater appreciation.”

In another experiment, participants were told to send a note and small gift to a friend they had not interacted with for a long period of time. They were then asked to estimate on a numerical scale how thankful the person would be because of the contact. Additionally, the receivers of the gifts were asked to rank their feelings upon accepting the gift on the same seven-number scale. Once again, the gift-givers greatly underestimated how much their gesture meant to the other person.

The study concluded that reaching out to people—particularly those that you've lost contact with—is almost always appreciated. It can seem challenging to maintain healthy social interactions, especially due to an increased amount of people working from home and a lack of opportunities. But clearly, the evidence suggests that a little extra effort is worth it.

“For those treading back into the social milieu with caution and trepidation,” the study adds, “feeling woefully out of practice and unsure, our work provides robust evidence and an encouraging green light to go ahead and surprise someone by reaching out.”"

-via My Modern Met, 7/31/22

#friendship #psychology #psych stuff #sociology #social connections #social anxiety #socializing #communication #social networks #good news #hope

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

I HAVE FUCKING NO ONE. I STAY IN MY FUCKING ROOM AND JUST PRETEND. PRETEND THAT MY LIFE IS DIFFERENT, THAT IM DIFFERENT, THAT THINGS ARE DIFFERENT. I DONT WANT TO PRETEND ANYMORE. I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY. I WANT TO HAVE FRIENDS. I WANT TO HAVE PLANS. I WANT TO HAVE MEMORIES. I WANT TO HAVE FUN AND LAUGH AND HUG. I NEED A HUG. I NEED HUMAN CONTACT. I NEED SOMEONE TO CARE. I NEED SOMEONE.

#mental health #mental illness #trauma #bpd #ptsd #traumatized #memories #friends #friendship #pretending #plans #have fun #caring #self love #self care #positivity #depression #anxiety #disorders

[what-iz-life]

I love people who make others feel seen, heard, valued, supported, and loved. People with gorgeous hearts, open minds, and gentle souls. The rare gems who make you feel deeply understood, give you complete freedom to be yourself, and make you feel beautiful just for being YOU.

#love #life #relationship #friendship #anxiety #feeling #mental health #lines #lit #literature #beautiful words #writing inspiration #writers on tumblr #writing #love qoute #life qoute #daily qoute #qoutes #quotes #post on tumblr #quote

[notdeezy]

STILL in love with this stupid purple cartoon horse

#mlp #my little pony #mlp g4 #my little pony friendship is magic #mlp fim #twilight sparkle #deezy's art #doodles #ppl say she has ocd but in all honestly she's just a textbook example of a perfectionist with generalized anxiety disorder #also wanted to try a different style for funsies

[coldshrugs]

take a deep breath

take a deep breath

take a deep breath

take a deep breath

take a deep breath

take a deep breath

vierapril day 10: breath

#io laithe #ffxiv #endwalker spoilers #azia gposes #vierapril24 #posting these out of order and at 2am T^T failing the community event #GOD. my game crashed during my first attempt of this and i wasn't sure i'd feel like redo-ing it #but tbh i've been thinking about this for a minute #what it means for her to be A Hero and still have anxiety on a good day. but on the bad days... #what it means to the people who love her most to see her break #maybe not for the first time but in a raw and scary way they haven't witnessed before #so important to me that thancred is the one who goes to her first (and who takes her inside). idk. their friendship is so special!!! #and estinien's shock is also v important to me (peep him dropping his lance). he's feeling so many things rn alkjsfdlk

[ghouljams]

IM WITH YOU FOR MORE FLUFFY FAE GHOST! FLUFF ALL AROUND PLEASE

So Love can call him with his name but what if she’s gushing about him to Liebling and it’s like that thing where your ears are ringing but he can hear all the nice things she’s saying and how in love she is

Yes yes yes more fluff for my favorite boy!!! Love gushes to Liebling about her boyfriend-husband all the time she loves him so much she can't help it. Liebling is jealous of how open Love is with her feelings but will never admit it.

Sometimes you get in these grooves monologuing on a single subject and you just can't stop. Like right now. Talking about your boyfriend.

"And he's really good with his hands," you gush.

"You already said he was good in bed," Liebling hums, flipping the page in her magazine.

"He is, but I mean like... artsy crafty stuff," you lean over the counter, not bothering to move much for the fae behind you. It's not like they're going to buy anything anyway. "Simon is weirdly really good at drawing, he's been helping me journal and he does these cute little doodles of anything I can't glue down. It's fantastic. Plus the bracelet, you've seen how cute the bracelet is."

Liebling hums again, you don't think she's listening but you don't really care. You don't want to stop talking yet so you won't.

"I know I should feel bad making Simon do so much for me, but he takes such good care of me. I mean look at my hair! Look at my skin! I'm fucking glowing, bitch." You hold your hair up to Lieblings face, you haven't had a split end in months.

She glances up at you and squints, then shields her eyes, "Yeah, you're like actually fucking glowing. Never seen so much gold on you."

You pluck at the tethers you can only feel, at the lightness and warmth in your chest. "Is it pretty? I can't-" you can't see it, you wish you could.

Liebling sighs and finally gives you a proper look. Still squinting at the light of it. You can almost see the glow reflected in her eyes.

"Yeah," she says with a small smile, "It's really pretty." You press your fingers against your smile, feeling the tethers you pull under your lips.

"Simon is so funny, he really wrapped me up in these things," not that you're complaining, the tethers feel secure, you've never felt this secure with anything in your life, "as if I'd ever want to leave him."

"Ghost freaks me out," Liebling mumbles, going back to her magazine.

"Alright well, you're a big baby, and I'm not scared of Simon. He's sweet. You're just jealous because König is a weirdo." You wave a hand, brushing off Lieblings frown.

"He's not a weirdo." You both glance at König across the shop, he's staring you down, his hand half way in a bag of potting mix. You turn back to Liebling who looks sensibly embarrassed.

"Anyway," you tell her, "Maybe if your shop wasn't so busy he wouldn't be masked up all the time. Simon's really cute under the mask, he's got these gorgeous sparkly brown eyes and the longest eyelashes I've ever seen, and our kids are gonna-" you bite your lip to stop the stream, your chest hot and pulling. You wish Simon was here, you always wish he was near you. You could call him, he wouldn't be mad, but you should be able to get through the day without him.

Liebling gives you a confused look, unsure if you're going to finish the monologue or if it's finally her turn to talk. "Couldn't tell you what König looks like, I try not to think about it." You'd wonder if it was that bad if her cheeks didn't turn red. Yeah. You bet she thinks about it a lot.

"Couldn't be me, I think about Simon all the time."

-

Ghost has never been more grateful for his mask. He's red, he can feel the heat of his blush burning to the tips of his ears. You're lighting up your tethers with kind words and compliments and his name falling like it's own desire from your lips. He leans against the table, dragging a hand over the skull mask. He wishes he could say he wants you to stop.

"Lighting up like a damn Christmas tree." Price gripes, ever observant as he blows off the smoke from his cigar. It swirls over the table, wrapping inquisitive tendrils around Ghosts whisps.

"His lass is name dropping," Soap tells him.

"The wife I haven't met yet." It's a dangerous truth, one Ghost doesn't have a credible answer for yet. He'll pay for it later, when Price finally does meet you. Right now it's nice having you all to himself.

"You're married?" Gaz asks across the table, Price throws another glare Ghost's way and nods.

"Wasn't my fault," Ghost tells him.

"Oh no, you should've seen this girl, absolutely brilliant, never seen anyone so-" Soap stops when he catches Ghost's glare, "Practically made to be ensnared," he whispers to Gaz, who grins.

"Gone after her like a proper fae, eh?" Gaz fixes Ghost with his ever observant gaze, "Didn't think you knew how to do that."

Ghost feels all his tethers pull tight, every nerve buzzing with you. "Gotta go," he tells the group quickly, not bothering to finish his bourbon before dropping his coin on the table, "the Missus calls."

"Bring her around sometime," Price leans back in his chair, "or I'll start making house calls." Soap and Gaz exchange a look, Ghost winces and nods before letting the shadows carry him away.

#fae!Ghost #Fae!Soap #fae!gaz #Fae!Price #“Someday our kids are gonna smile like him” Love thinks to herself #and immediately is like “fuck wait do I want kids??” #I've changed my mind I think Liebling and Love are besties #I just think it's a black cat and golden retriever friendship #the anxiety disorder and the girl who has never worried about anythin in her life #they wouldn't be friends without their boyfriends but they're besties now #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost x reader #x reader #oc: love #oc: liebling

[x-itzzzzzz-x]

pretending all my trials and tribulations are just because i’m actually a magical girl and this is just all part of my epic journey to discover the power of friendship against the dark foes that linger (im autistic and a loser )

#actually autistic #autism #maladaptive daydreaming #social anxiety #lonelly #magical girl #puella magi madoka magica #sailor moon #yuki yuna is a hero #wonder egg priority #cardcaptor sakura #my little pony friendship is magic

[quotidianish]

Various tones of BnB sillies

#tf2 #art #tf2 demoman #tf2 soldier #boots n bombs #demosolly #team fortress 2 #tf2 fanart #artwork #quotidianish #I spent 13 hours o these bad boys. I hate art #Idk man. I feel like the war exacerbated both their former anxieties probably. Soldier is deluded thinking everyone is working against him #and demo just feels because of his stupidity he can't make any good thing last. Or he's dispensable and not worth keeping. #It Leads them both to shut themselves off from whatever friendships they might have had prior #Even worse I think they were working through these thoughts together as their friendship progressed supporting eachother throughout it all #before something out of their control strongly affirms these ideas in a way they won't try and investigatebecause they already have a- #-pre arranged reason #INSANITY.

[stellarphileistic]

Why does bro keep crying

#prolly social anxiety again #I love fluttershy #fluttershy #fluttershy fanart #fanart #fluttershy art #mlp #mlp art #mlp fanart #art #my little pony fanart #my little pony #stellarphileistic #anxitey #dreamy #artists on tumblr #pony #my litte pony friendship is magic

[stuckinapril]

Talked w a friend for hours about so much friend group drama that transpired in December & I’m honestly so grateful to have her. She is literally so caring & receptive & understanding & such a breath of fresh air after a history of friends who fall off after the simplest conflict

#she legit went ‘people aren’t perfect. mistakes happen’ #‘friendships won’t always be a smooth sailing and that’s okay’ #literally just healthy open communication #which is exactly something like me w anticipatory anxiety needs to hear #her bday is coming up & im compiling a wholeass bday package for her bc she DESERVES IT #p

[interestinglittlerelationship]

Does anyone else think about this moment?

Like how Luke knows that Alex is stressed and anxious about crossing over, and heartbroken about saying goodbye to Willie.

And Luke also knows that dancing is one of the things that helps Alex relax and makes him happy.

But he doesn’t just tell him to dance because he knows that wouldn’t work, because Alex doesn’t like being told what to do and he really doesn’t like people taking care of him.

Instead he goes, “Alex! No dancing!” because he knows Alex will immediately dance just to spite him and he just want to see his friend be happy.

And the look on his face after, like he’s just so damn proud of himself, just for putting a smile on Alex’s face for a second.

And the way he nudges Reggie, like, “See, I told you so,” makes me think they planned this when they stepped away so Alex could say goodbye to Willie outside.

Anyway. Yeah. I think about it a normal and healthy amount.

#anyway #just luke being the best friend and wanting to take care of them #people are always saying how they weren’t that good of friends and probably wouldn’t have hung out without the band #and it’s like have you watched the show? #because they clearly know each other so well and care about each other so much #and yes there are moments when they don’t handle Alex’s anxiety well #but that doesn’t make them bad friends #friendship isn’t about being perfect #it’s about being there however you can be #and you can’t tell me they weren’t always there for each other #julie and the phantoms #jatp #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #sunset curve