#i know *exactly* what's real and what's not. i know these random thoughts while extremely unpleasant are an exaggeration

[lucy-ghoul]

x

#i think what really upsets me about intrusive thoughts/ocd related issues #is the lack of control over my own brain #like. it's really really scary and i've been living with it for almost 14 years #the fact that your suffering is not provoked by something you did/other people did #but by your stupid fucking brain you have 0 to control over #you can't do *nothing* about it except taking your meds waiting for some fucking peace of mind at last and endure #this feeling of helplessness is unnerving i swear #no wonder i fixate on fictional control freaks (tho i don't consider myself a control freak tbh) #no matter how different in temperament/experiences i can very much relate to the longing for some power over yourself #it's very painful and maybe an aspect of ocd that is not much talked about #even the fact that i'm like. 100% lucid makes it all so difficult #i know *exactly* what's real and what's not. i know these random thoughts while extremely unpleasant are an exaggeration #and that i give them too much importance #but at the same time.. i really can't do anything about it #it's like being super alert on a fucking battleground 24/6. absolutely exhausting #well... at least tonight it's eurovision time so for a few hours the depression is forgotten i guess #(obviously don't reblog please) #mental health tag #val speaks #txt

[iisasarcasticlittleshite]

We've created a monster (Brothers x MC)

In which the brothers find out that they've created a human with zero self preservation or reasonable fear of demons.

This rattled around in my head all morning, I just had to write it. Is it good? Probably not, but it exists and I like it, so there ;P

Sort of implied polyamory, possessive and protective demons.

If by some miracle anyone likes this sort of longer, random fic, please let me know, I'd be happy to write more little scenarios like these.

Warnings: none

Since arriving in the Devildom, MC has moved within the same "social" circle. They talk to the brothers, Diavolo, Barbatos, and the other exchange students. They've had no real need to move outside of that up to now.

They're civil with other demons, but the interactions are extremely limited and always under the watchful eye of someone they know and trust.

Even Luke's presence would be enough to dissuade any demons from getting ideas around the human who does not have magic rolling off them in waves.

Most are aware of their pacts with the lords and steer clear.

But demons aren't exactly known for riskless behaviour.

On the one day out of hundreds MC walked to class alone, wanting to get ahead on something, a demon of envy singled them out in the broad hallway.

He's big, tall, though still has nothing on Beel, and snaps vicious sharp teeth at them as he backs them into a wall.

'Humans like you shouldn't prance around a demon's home unguarded, not flaunting all those pacts.'

MC recognises that look, and cocks their head curiously. 'Levi wears envy better, you ought to practise in the mirror a little more.'

He takes one gargantuan step forward, letting loose a roar that threatened to shake loose bricks out of the walls.

Still, MC didn't flinch, didn't even take their hands out of their pockets. 'Stop that, it's too early for that kinda noise.'

'I am going to KILL you!'

Snorting, MC finally bothered to lift one hand from their pocket, tugging gently at the bonds of their pacts to find the magic they wanted. It wouldn't be much, really.

'No. You're not.'

A flick of the wrist, a muttered word, and the demon felt his body become too heavy to move, almost too heavy to breathe. He commanded his limbs to carry him, demanded that his magic answer his call.

Neither obeyed. None but his eyes, who watched the infuriating waif tuck their hand back in their pocket and carry on with their day, walking around him like he was an inconveniently placed statue.

'You thought you could scare me? I live with Lucifer and Satan you dipstick.' MC huffed, glancing at their watch and hurrying away, lest they lose their head-start on the day.

Just out of sight, Asmodeus had recorded the entire ordeal, fully ready to step in and protect the human (or better yet, set Satan on the bastard), and instead, finding himself capturing a side of their little MC none had seen yet.

He sends the video into the brother's group chat, and immediately all of Devildom breaks loose. Lucifer demands the offender be sent to him for punishment, until Asmodeus reminds him that the bastard is still frozen in the hallway with a smug selfie.

Instead, the eldest pulls everyone from their classes, including MC and calls an emergency council meeting. He doesn't even wait for Diavolo to be in attendance, so urgent is his need to address this.

Mammon had found his way to MC's side and is glued to them like a protective hex, he'll go nowhere, and will not be told otherwise, Levi and Beel take turns hovering at their other side, the elder glowering like a gargoyle while the younger hooks a finger in the edge of MC's pocket and follows them around like a lost puppy.

MC does no more than go with the flow, as usual. They slide under Mammon's arm and teases him for turning red despite his focus on protecting them.

Once everyone is seated, MC finally asks the question.

'So, what's this about? Never thought I'd see you endorse us all missing class, Lucifer.'

'We're here to talk about the incident this morning, MC.' Lucifer began as calmly as possible. His blood still boils that anyone would dare try and harm his human simply because his back was turned. 'The envy demon, did he hurt you?'

'Oh, him? No, didn't even touch me. Is that why Satan looks ready to butcher someone?'

The avatar of Wrath is living up to his name, he's quietly glaring holes into the floor and no one dares interrupt him.

'You don't seem to realise how much danger you were just in, MC.' Lucifer broaches carefully, unwilling to trigger his own temper even though MC can clearly see it in his eyes. 'You dealt with it cleverly, but if that had been a smarter demon, one who struck without you knowing-'

MC pondered his point for a moment, rolling their bottom lip between their teeth. 'What would happen to a demon that killed me? Like the one today, if he had actually done something.'

A crash filled the room, Satan's magic lashing out, pushing him into his demon form as the very thought of anyone laying hands on what is clearly his sent him spiralling.

His brothers jump back, while MC, jumps in.

They're in front of him in seconds, big eyes speaking of kindness and love, and though the wrath still boils in his belly, his magic stops writhing for blood.

'Breathe, I'm right here.' MC reminds him, not daring to touch until she feels the pact bond settle. 'It's not going to happen, yeah?'

'It almost did, and you're not nearly as worried as you should be!' Belphegor snapped. 'You're human, anyone could-!'

'He was one idiot with a death wish, and he couldn't even lay hands on me when I was alone. Who the fuck do you think is going to go for me with you guys around?'

They have a point, that doesn't settle the unease in the room, and it shoes as Satan nuzzles into their hair, pressing his chest to their back.

He's the last one to show physical affection in front of anyone, let alone Lucifer, but the need to touch them outweighs his pride, clearly.

MC lets him cling on, and carries on the conversation without missing a beat, gently rubbing their thumb over the back of Satan's hand.

'But, you really weren't scared. Not even a little.' Beel uttered softly, big eyes shimmering with worry. 'He looked right at you and told you he'd kill you.'

'And? Most of you have said that to me at least once, hell, one of you succeeded.'

The youngest flinched, MC threw him a smile.

'Honestly, who in the demon King's name is gonna scare me, when you guys can't?'

Realisation dawned on them then, spending all their time with the 7 Lords of the Devildom had completely desensitised MC to demons.

If they could stare down Lucifer on a rampage, throw themselves between him and someone he means to kill, who the hell is supposed to be scarier than him?

Lucifer voices the point aloud, and Asmodeus breaks into laughter, soon followed by Leviathan.

'That is kinda funny.' Snorted the third-born. 'I think we broke MC.'

The twins soon join in, and MC felt Satan's chest tremble and he settled his chin atop their head, now free of his demon form.

'Guys, this ain't a good thing!' Mammon wailed. 'If MC ain't scared o' nothin', what's stoppin' 'em from just walkin' into Cerberus' mouth or somethin'?!'

'Uh...common sense?' MC added dryly. 'Not being afraid of dying doesn't make me want to die, dipstick.'

'Hey!'

'Which brings me to my next point, when did you learn to call on all our magic at once like that?' Lucifer swiftly interjected. 'Solomon said he's taught you nothing but basics.'

'I'm in school, you know? I don't get good grades for decoration. I knew it wasn't worth summoning any one of you so I just grabbed all the threads at once and squeezed.'

'Honey, you're telling us you had a demon threatening to kill you and just...winged it?' Asmo concluded.

The human merely shrugged. 'Pretty much.'

'...we've created a monster.'

Part 2

#obey me x mc #obey me shall we date #drabble #headcannon #obey me brothers x mc #obey me mammon #obey me satan #obey me lucifer #obey me #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan

[candycandy00]

Can you just do your general nsfw headcanons for the jjk men?

Sure! These are very unorganized though, sorry! Just my random NSFW opinions about them!

Gojo Satoru:

First of all, he’s very good at sex. It’s canon that he’s good at anything he tries so this is provable fact. He’s very tall so it’s likely that he’s well endowed. 

He has a huge ego, which can be good and bad. He’s confident in his performance in the bedroom because, well, of course he is. And confidence is definitely sexy. But at the same time, he’s going to be a bit too full of himself. This can get annoying. He’s going to know exactly how to push all your buttons and get you riled up, which is going to make him the worst tease in existence. 

All of this is why I think he would be kinda mean in the bedroom. A bit of an asshole. But a very charming one so good luck resisting him. He knows he’s gorgeous. He knows he can satisfy you better than anyone else. So he’s going to use that to his advantage. I see him being the type to get really turned on by making you beg. I also see him having just a little bit of a degradation kink. He’ll throw in some insults or mock you for being so desperate for his dick (don’t let him fool you, he wants you as bad as you want him but he’ll never let it show).  

The fastest way to turn him on is to stroke his ego. Telling him he’s too big, he won’t fit, it hurts, etc. while also still begging for it will absolutely send him to the moon. The thought that you want him in you so badly, even if it hurts, gets him riled up faster than anything else. And once he’s in there, letting him know how deep he’s hitting, how he’s stretching you, will drive him wild. 

He has one major weakness though. No matter how mean or taunting he can get, deep down, he’s actually a pretty nice guy overall and genuinely cares about you and your feelings. So if he thinks he took things even one step too far or actually hurt you for real (physically or emotionally), he would feel terrible. He would suddenly turn into the sweetest boyfriend ever, being super affectionate and gentle, until he felt sure that he was forgiven and things were cool between you two. 

As for his sexual history, I think he hooked up with a lot of people when he first got out of high school. I mean people were already throwing themselves at him when he was still pretty young, so what do you think a hot young man is going to do? But I think he slowed down a lot as he got a little older. The random hookups started to leave him feeling empty. He probably starting having them to begin with because he was lonely after his split from Geto. It was just an enjoyable way to not feel alone for a little while. But gradually, the loneliness crept in faster and faster. So he decided to stop hooking up until he met someone he could have an emotional connection to. 

Geto Suguru:

I feel like Geto would be a very generous lover. He would definitely prioritize your pleasure, getting most of his own through watching you become a shuddering mess beneath him. 

He’s extremely good at performing oral sex. His tongue would be amazing. And he enjoys it more than anything else. Expect to climax several times, in a row, each time the two of you are intimate. 

Outside the bedroom, he’s very respectful and kind to you. He’s raising two young daughters, he wants to show them how they should be treated by a partner. But this respect and care crosses over to the bedroom too. He makes sure you’re satisfied and well pleased. 

When it comes to pleasing him, his hair is practically an erogenous zone for him. Run your fingers through it to hear him purr like a cat. Grab it, pull it, play with it, whatever. He loves it. When he’s making love, he prefers extremely intimate, deep, deliberate motions. He likes to take things slow so the two of you can just enjoy the feel of each other’s bodies. 

Is a firm believer that sex isn’t just for physical pleasure, but is a way to be closer to the person you love. For that reason, he’s had way fewer sexual partners than someone like Gojo or Toji, but the encounters he’s had have been way more meaningful. 

Sukuna:

Do you really want to know what gets this guy off? 

DO YOU? 

No sugar coating here, Sukuna is a monster. He enjoys suffering. He loves hurting people. He probably doesn’t give a shit about his partner’s pleasure. Or their consent. Or keeping them alive. It’s stated in the series that he “lives according to his pleasure”. So I can’t see him holding back if he saw someone he wanted. In his first scene alone, he specifically mentions women twice. Once asking “Where are the people? Where are the women?”while grinning maniacally. I think it’s pretty clear what the implication was there. He also implies that he would do something unsavory to Nobara if he took control. This was probably just his way of being a menace to Yuji, but the fact that he implied it at all says a lot about him. 

So yeah, all this to say I think he had his way with a lot of women when he was alive, probably killing them afterwards (which would explain why he has no descendants).  

As for his kinks? Oh Lord, there’s probably a long list and they’re all probably nightmarish. He’s probably into pain/torture/blood/humiliation/degradation/etc.  Anything to be cruel. He’s a cannibal so he definitely wouldn’t mind drinking a little blood and would probably be into biting. He’s just the walking personification of all the worst porn categories. 

But! He is actually capable of treating someone well if he likes them. We see this in how he treats Uraume (laughing and joking with them, forgiving their mistakes, just generally being nice to them). And how did Uraume earn a place at Sukuna’s side? By providing a service that Sukuna valued (cooking tasty human meat). So if he were to meet someone who really blew his mind in the bedroom, it’s possible that he would value them enough to keep them around. 

If that were to happen, he’d probably be a lot less of a nightmare in bed. He’d still have his kinks, but he would actually want to keep you alive, so he would tone it down to keep from damaging you too much. I also think he would start pleasuring you on purpose if he cared about you. He would enjoy knowing he could drive you wild with just a touch. Like Gojo, he has a massive ego. He’s also narcissistic and domineering. So while he would still prioritize his own pleasure, he would definitely see the charm in watching you come completely undone only for him. He’d still be very forceful and very rough. 

Nanami Kento:

Didn’t know he had a daddy kink until you accidentally called him daddy in bed. At that moment, something snapped into place for him, and he never looked back. 

Is lightly authoritative in bed, mainly because he knows it turns you on so much. Often uses “good girl” or “bad girl”. Engages in some light spanking, with his hand or his belt, but never actually hurts you and it’s something the two of you have thoroughly discussed and agreed upon. 

He usually guides every encounter. He’s used to being in charge. But you like it because you get to relax and let him do all the planning. Outside the bedroom, you have a totally normal relationship that a lot of people might even call dull, but inside the bedroom? You can both get quite kinky. 

Nanami will sometimes engage in teacher/student role play. You pull on your old high school uniform, which you’ve made a few alterations to in order to make it more sexy, and he has a monumental struggle trying to keep his self control. 

Speaking of his self control, it’s pretty strong. But if you tease him too much, he will absolutely have you bent over his lap, alternating between spanking you with his open palm and pleasuring you with his fingers. He’s very good with his hands. 

Fushiguro Toji:

Is a horn dog. It’s been told in the manga that he went “from woman to woman”, so he definitely got around. I think he’d definitely be into random hookups. But if he formed an emotional connection with you, as he did with Megumi’s mom, he would be faithful to you. 

Has a size kink, definitely. He is HUNG. 

Is very proud of his stamina. He can go for several rounds in a row. He’ll exhaust you, but you’ll definitely end up blissed out and very satisfied. 

Can be very soft and gentle or very rough, depending on the mood. He likes both. He’s also open to most kinks you’d want to try. He’s there for a good time, not to be judgemental. However, he would probably get a little bored or annoyed if there was a lot of prep involved. Wanna role play and throw on some costumes? Sure! But if you have to put a lot of time into converting the bedroom into a particular setting, he will lose interest. 

Probably not the best at aftercare. After he’s satisfied the both of you, he’s falling asleep and probably expecting breakfast in the morning. He’s not picky about what it is though so if you just give him some toast he’s cool with it. 

Enjoys showering together. He’s not the least bit shy about being naked (with that body, can you blame him?) and would think you’re being silly if you acted shy. 

Choso: 

Of all the guys, he’s probably the most shy and subby. He’s also the mostly likely to be a virgin. Not a huge shock considering it’s not been that long since he was incarnated into a human body. 

Choso would be a very sweet and devoted lover. Once he started to view you as family (in a spousal way), he would literally do anything to make you happy. That extends to the bedroom, where he would learn all the things you like just so he can please you. 

Contrary to what some people think, calling him “onii-chan” or “big brother” would not excite him. It would probably be the fastest way to kill his boner. He takes his role as a big brother very seriously, so putting yourself into that context would just make him uncomfortable. 

Doesn’t have many specific kinks but his absolute favorite thing is receiving blowjobs. Seeing you get on your knees in front of him gets him so excited he can barely breathe. He still can’t believe someone like you would work so hard to pleasure someone like him, but he gets mesmerized when he’s watching you suck his dick. 

Definitely the soft type. You’d have a hard time getting him to go rough because he’d be afraid of hurting you, and that’s the last thing he wants. But over time, you could probably convince him to try more spicy activities once you’re both very comfortable with each other. 

#gojo satoru x reader #geto suguru x reader #sukuna x reader #toji x reader #nanami x reader #choso x reader #gojo x reader #geto x reader #headcanons #jjk headcanons

[suhnflowerstay]

game night

bang chan x afab!reader

a/n: this is based on a real life situation so it might not be super relatable (no description of what reader looks like besides the fact that they're afraid of sitting on his lap)

and it is not representative of any characteristics the idols have or anything lol it's moreso therapeutic. it does require the knowledge of Jackbox Games. quiplash is a game where you get a prompt and you anonymously write down what you think is the funniest answer and everyone votes for the funniest one. i'm posting this twice because i originally wrote it for mark but my sister thought it was well suited for chan as well soooo yeah!

wc: 2.9k

tags: toxic situationship vibes (like really toxic), smoking, high emotions, angst, smut, sad ending

You and Chan had known each other for a few years. You had initially met on vacation and got each other's contact information to keep in touch. You were talking all the time and FaceTiming nearly every day. You were friends, such close friends that you decided to go to the same university. Once you moved to his area for college, you were spending all your time with each other. Eventually, the sexual tension between you began to build and before you knew it, your situationship began.

A few months before your friends with benefits relationship with Chan began, he had been sharing with you how messy his previous arrangement was. You had seen other girls come and go because they could never handle him sticking by his word and refusing to commit to them. You were also not interested in commitment, so you felt comfortable going into it. You knew exactly who you were friends with, so you assumed you would be fine. You were just friends who had a sexual attraction to each other. There was no reason that having sex would have to complicate things, right? Wrong.

Yes, there are people who can have a healthy friends with benefits style relationship. Sex is easy to detach from for some more than others. Your relationship with Chan was anything but detached. You were best friends who had sex, and the gray area was extremely gray. You were practically dating without the label, and that brought a lot of negative feelings bubbling up. But you both didn't want commitment. You were terrified of being vulnerable in that way and he, well… he just loved the attention.

Chan's cousin Felix was hosting a game night with some friends, and he wanted you to come along and meet everyone. When you two arrived at Felix’s house, you introduced yourself, and the first words out of his mouth were:

“Are you the one that called on Christmas?”

Immediately, Chan jumped into action to try to shut Felix up. He stood in front of you and blocked Felix from view, mumbling, “No, that was someone else.” You knew he had a previous situationship leading up to your current situationship with him; this was no secret. You knew this because you were the one to talk him through the end of that relationship. You just hadn't realized how intense it must've been if Bang Chan was bringing that "friend with benefits" to meet the family.

You had small talk with Felix, asking him what his major was, and he asked you yours. He offered you drinks and snacks, and you took a seat on the sectional with Chan taking the seat right next to you. You two were in your own little world, giggling about god knows what while he had his arm around you, when all of a sudden the door behind you swings open.

“CHAN PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE DONE THE ENGINEERING HOMEWORK!” the disheveled boy yelled. You giggled because of how insane this random man appeared with his backpack barely slung over his shoulder, hair a mess, running up to take a seat on the couch diagonal to you two.

“Y/N, this is Minho. Minho, this is Y/N.”

Minho’s brain is going a million miles an hour, and the first thing he thinks to ask is:

“Are you two dating?”

You and Chan look at each other, and he says, “No, we’re just friends.”

“Oh," the disheveled man says, "Well, it looks like you two are dating.”

Minho proceeds to talk to Chan about whatever homework they had, and his whole demeanor has you nearly falling off the couch with how hard he has you laughing. He has major himbo energy and says everything with so much passion. At one point, he ends a story he's telling with, “WHATEVER FUCKOOO!”

Soon, more of Felix and (kind of) Chan's friends start showing up. A taller guy who catches your eye greets you. He says his name is Hyunjin and makes light conversation with you, asking how you know Chan and Felix and asking how long you've lived in the city. There are also three guys in the corner smoking, and one of them catches your eye as you hear his distinct giggle while he laughs with his friends. Is Chan only friends with hot people, you think. The last guy walks in and very quietly says hi and immediately walks across the room to sit between his friends. Chan lets you know that the shy guy, also known as Jisung, is really shy with strangers, but he's sure Jisung will warm up by the end of the night.

Felix loads up Jackbox Games, and your group plays Trivia Murder Party for a few rounds, and then, a guy named Seungmin says he thinks the group should play Quiplash. There are a few rounds where you make some pretty good jokes, and all of the guys hype you up, telling Chan he brought someone super funny to game night. You even make a quip at Chan's expense, and Minho high-fives you for doing so. At this point, you've had a few drinks, and you aren't drunk, just tipsy. But you absolutely need to pee. You ask Chan where the bathroom is, since this is his cousin's house, and he leads you to the bathroom, waiting for you outside the door. Once you’re done, he drags you to the empty bedroom across from the bathroom and lays back on the bed, pulling you down you on top of him.

“Are you having fun?” he looks up at you.

“Mhm," you hum, "are you?”

“Yeah."

"Your friends are nice. Minho's super funny. I can't believe he's real,” you giggle.

"Yeah, he is... ok, c'mon. Let’s go back before they think we’re having sex or something," he says abruptly. You thought his response was weird, but you didn't think too much about it.

Upon returning to the living room, you see your seat on the couch was stolen by a few of the guys, and you are now forced to sit on a recliner in the corner to watch the game from there. There’s only one seat though, so you just stand while Chan takes the seat.

“What are you doing?" he questions, "Come on. Sit down.”

You pause. “I-I'm okay. I don’t want to like hurt your legs or anyth-”

Chan pulls you down on his lap, so you’re forced to sit down on him. He asks if you want to smoke, and you take a singular hit, not really interested in doing that, and watch the game from afar. Minho has his eyes trained on you two, and you feel his stare. You turn to look at him, and he yells from across the room, “Are you sure you guys aren’t dating?”

You giggle saying, "Yes, we’re sure we aren’t dating."

He tilts his head to the side like a confused kitty and proceeds to ask “So, are you guys cousins?” and you cannot stop yourself from keeling over because what does he MEAN?? What kind of line of questioning is that? Why would his brain jump from dating to cousins? You look at Chan incredulously as you both laugh and confirm once again that you are just friends.

You two keep watching the game, rather than participate, and go back to your own little world until Chan decides he’s ready to go home. You follow him out, saying a single goodbye to everyone in the room. Everyone bids you goodbye in their own way with many of the guys saying how nice it was to meet you and how you should definitely come to game night again. You two walk out and Chan unlocks the car before remembering he has to go back in to get something from Felix. You sit and wait in the car, smiling to yourself, and text your best friend about game night. You make sure to mention the beautiful man you met and how funny it was that he asked if you and Chan were cousins.

Once he enters the car, he slides his hand onto your thigh.

“Did you have fun?” he asks, leaning in to give you a kiss.

“Yes, actually. I really didn't think I would, but that was so nice and all of your friends seem so cool! Minho is such a himbo it’s so funny... I can’t believe you guys are taking the same classes.” you add.

You don't notice, but Chan's hand clenches the steering wheel. He doesn’t say anything and begins the drive home. You stop by the grocery store on your way home to pick up some snacks, and everything between you and Chan seems pretty light hearted.

You get back to his place, shower, and change into pajamas. You two sit on the couch for a bit longer watching shows and just snacking, cuddled up together. You get up to go to the restroom, leaving your phone behind on the coffee table, and when you come back, Chan is in a noticeably different mood. His body language is tense, and he’s moved away from your original spot.

“Channie… what’s wrong?” you ask, still standing.

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“It just seems like... like there’s something bothering you,” you insisted.

“Why would anything be bothering me? You’re literally making something out of nothing!” he snapped.

Now, you're officially in a bad mood.

“Fine then! Forget I even asked,” you huffed, collapsing onto the opposite side of the couch to go through your phone.

Half an hour later, your anger has subsided, and you're back to being invested in the show you’re watching. Then, the leading man betrays his love interest.

“Ughhhhhh," you drone, "Why does every man suck? Like even him? You have to be joking.”

“I bet Minho would never do that…” Chan mumbled mockingly from his side of the couch.

“What the actual fuck did you just say?” you snarled.

“Nothing.”

“Please do not fucking tell me that you’re upset over Minho, a man I only just met a few hours ago,” you scoffed.

“Oh, so you’re counting the hours,” Chan said, not even looking at you.

“Chan, shut the fuck up! What are you saying right now? What is your deal? I don’t even know or care about Minho!”

“You sure seemed to care when you texted your friend about how hot and funny you thought he was,” he said, finally looking up at you to see your reaction.

“Motherfucker, you went through my phone? Again? Are you fucking joking? Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t! I saw you texting it,” he tried to say, but you knew that was a lie because you had texted your friend right when you got into the car. He absolutely went through your phone, but this was not the first time.

“You’re a fucking liar, Bang Chan. I know you didn’t see me texting it. And either way, what does it matter to you? Newsflash! In case you weren't aware, I’m not your girlfriend! You made sure of it, and you also made sure everyone knew that tonight!”

Chan scoffed, “What did you want me to say to them? 'Oh yeah we’re fucking’?”

“it doesn’t matter what you say to them because we aren’t anything. And that means you don’t get to be upset over me texting my friend that i thought your friend was attractive," you emphasize, "You’ve done far worse or would you like me to remind you about your sexting with Soyeon or sending good morning and goodnight texts to Sana when you couldn’t even find two seconds to text me back even if it was just to let me know you were busy?"

Chan sits there knowing he can't say anything to that.

"You have even less of a right to be upset because of all the shit you pull all of the time, so I’m not going to apologize for sending my friend one text about a cute boy I will probably never see again." you finish.

“So you would want to see him again?” he tries to say steadily, but his voice cracks.

You look up and see that Chan is looking at the ground now and has tears in his eyes.

“Chris…” you put your arm around him and embrace him.

“I get it, though, like he’s so much more than I could ever be," he sniffles, "He’s so funny without even trying, and he’s just so cute and attractive and everything about him screams 'y/n's type.' I don’t blame you for being interested.”

He pushes himself up to lock eyes with you. “It’s only you, you know? I know you saw the texts or whatever with other girls, but I only care about you. No one else could ever be you. I promise that at the end of the day, no matter what, I only want you.”

He looks down at your lips and hesitates before he kisses you. The kiss starts off slow and slowly progresses into a more passionate, needy one. Chan is grabbing at your hips, your stomach, your arms, whatever he can get a grip on. He starts whining and pulls away, “Please take off your clothes, babygirl. I need you.”

You both strip down in his living room. Chan carefully lays you down on the couch and lines himself up with your pussy before slowly pushing himself in all the way without any issue. You guess high intensity and emotional situations just make you wet now after all the arguments you've had with this man.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight," he praises, "You always make me feel so big. it always feels like the first time.”

You moan and beg Chan to move, and slowly, he does. While there’s still a desperate neediness in the air, Chan is moving slowly and intentionally. He keeps his eyes fixed on yours while caressing your body. He praises every inch of you that he touches, littering you with compliments. He traces a finger along every curve and focuses on tracing circles on your tits, teasing your nipple ever so slightly before finally taking the buds between his fingers. He squeezes them, eliciting moans from your "pretty little mouth" as he calls it. He keeps one hand focused on your breast while he uses the other arm to hold himself up as he leans down to kiss you, maintaining the slow but steady rhythm. You wrap your legs and arms around him, pinning him to your chest. This position makes it so much more intimate, and you swear that he's hitting even deeper. The combination is pushing you right up to the edge. By the way Chan starts moaning, you can tell he feels the same.

“Fuck baby, I'm so close,” he groans

“Please cum inside me, Daddy. I need it so bad.”

“Ugh, f-fuck, beautiful, I can’t until you do. Please cum with me baby girl and- fuck- and I’ll fill you up as much as you want.”

His words send you over the edge, catapulting you into a strong radiating orgasm. Your hands are grasping at his arms and back, leaving scratches in their wake, you're sure. It’s very different from what you’ve previously experienced, muted but long lasting, and you can feel it all over. Your orgasm triggers his, and he continues to fuck you through it until the overstimulation becomes too much. He pulls out of you and grabs some wipes to wipe you and himself down. He lays you down in bed and makes his way to lay down right alongside you. He sits up and places his hand on your cheek, turning your head to make you look at him.

“I-" he hesitated, "I’m sorry I went through your phone again,” he says, rubbing his thumb back and forth along your cheekbone.

“It’s okay, Chan,” you reassure him.

“I just- I knew you’d like him. I could tell from the way you were looking at him and how he was looking at you. Minho is never interested in other people let alone other people’s relationships. I knew if he was asking if we were dating, it was so he could ask you out, and it made me freak out," he sighs.

“You have no way of knowing that, Channie,” you reason.

“Regardless, I meant what I said. I know we aren’t official, but I'm only loyal to you.”

He lays back down, and you say nothing.

You say nothing because this is a conversation you have often.

You say nothing because as much as you want to commit to Chan, you probably also aren’t ready.

You say nothing because the previous statement is probably a lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better in this relationship you have with him.

You say nothing because you know there will be more instances of you finding text messages with other people in which he gives them more compliments/attention/time than he gives you.

You say nothing because you know he isn’t loyal to you at all, and you’d rather not start another fight tonight.

You say nothing because there is nothing here to fight for.

You say nothing as he falls asleep in your arms, and you see his phone light up with a text.

minho: hey can i get y/n's number

#chan #bang chan #christopher bahng #christopher bang #chris bang #bangchan #bangchan x reader #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #christopher bahng x reader #christopher bang x reader #chris bang x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz #stray kids #bang chan smut #bang chan angst

[lowkeyremi]

The lust in his eyes was very noticeable by anyone who tried hard enough to see it.

Keigo was not even trying to hide it either. His sexiness was overbearing and you could feel it from across the room.

"He's looking over here again.." Your friend says unaware of the relationship between you and Keigo. You'd tell her, but because of your jobs it's hard to go public. He's a pro-hero and a double agent while you're an underground hero. The media would go crazy if they knew about you two. There would be a mixture of shock, anger, maybe even respect, but the Hero Commission has advised against going public... strongly.

"Really?" You ask and take a sip of whatever your friend has ordered you. Honestly your attention was lost long ago. Keigo has kept your attention all night.

As an underground hero you'd usually avoid huge social gatherings like these but Keigo convinced you to go. Popular heroes like Endeavor, Best Jeanist, and even Mirko were standing around posing, being interviewed, talking to other heroes, etc. Keigo had noticed your discomfort right away, so being as cheeky as he is he texted you to meet him in a secluded area ten minutes after he walked over there.

When you went over to him the blond started complimenting you. He talked about how pretty you look in your dress, he praised you for doing your hair and makeup, and so on. That was about two hours ago...

"Yeah, I think he wants to fuck you because if those aren't bedroom eyes then I don't know what is." She squeals and wiggles her brows at you.

A real smile invaded your face for maybe the 3rd time tonight. You were being uptight because of the Commission's words. Even though this is a private event, you didn't want to risk it. Keigo clearly didn't care (not surprising at all) because he was openly flirting with you.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by a tap on your shoulder. "May I have a dance with you, beautiful?" Some hero you couldn't bother to remember asks you. Several men and women had already asked something similar which you had kindly turned down.

"I'm good than-" A cheeky arm wrapped around your waist and you began to panic.

"What business do you have with my wife?" Keigo questions and you about have a heart attack.

"Hawks?! Wife... oh my- I'm so sorry. I didn't know." The hero scurries off and you glare at your husband.

You couldn't even get a word in because your friend yells in shock and excitement, "you're married?! To Hawks?!" You hold a finger to your lips and your eyes widen. Its no use though because people are already looking at you and Keigo, whispering things you can't hear.

In seconds there's a TV crew in your face.

"Number two pro hero, Hawks has been secretly married. What is it like being his wife?" Some lady with a mic asks.

Some other guy asks, "How long have you two been married?"

If you were overwhelmed before than you're extremely overwhelmed now.

Your friend looks at you a frown on her face as she tries to apologize for bringing attention over to you two.

Keigo scoops you up bridal style, and flies out of an open window, "Adios, paparazzi~" he says.

When you two get far enough away he lands and sets you down, "darling... i'm so sorry. I just had enough, you were hit on like eight times and it made my stomach drop." He says softly.

You glare at him, "that's no excuse Keigo! I am your wife. Which means I married you, which means I'm not going to be swayed by some random hero asking me out! Do you have any trust in me?!" You shout at him, anger seeping through your tone.

"It's not you baby, its me.. I fear you'll find someone better suited for you..." his voice is small as he speaks.

"Keigo Takami. How long have we been together for?" you ask sternly.

His golden eyes meet yours, "three years."

"Not married, how long have we been together in general?" you ask clearing up your question.

"Oh.. forever." He says with a weak smile.

"Exactly, which means I have no reason to leave you!" A sigh escapes your lips.

You gesture for him to come closer, he does. You cup his face and kiss him softly.

You can tell he wants more from the way he squeezes your hips but you pull back with a lazy smirk.

"You are going to get a fucking earful from the Commission." you say with a dry chuckle.

He pales at your statement.

"Oh shit... they're gonna skin me alive..." he groans.

"Should have thought about that before basically telling all of Japan I'm yours." You say with a shrug.

He scoops you up bridal style again and flies you two home.

"It was totally worth it though." He smirks.

You roll your eyes at him, your husband is something else.

#oooooo #hawks is gonna get in trouble 👀 #i bet all his fangirls and boys are pissed #bnha #mha #hawks x reader #hawks #bnha hawks #keigo #takami keigo #keigo takami #keigo tamaki x reader #keigo takami x you #takami x reader #keigo x reader #takami keigo x reader #pro hero hawks

[woozvc]

notice you

0.8

w.c - 3.1k ish

okay, this is it.

you walk into the interview room, immediately hit by the bright lights and flowers around. it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the light, maybe not wearing your glasses today wasn't the best idea. you take your seat and look ahead to them. they look unreal.

it never dawns upon you how good seventeen look in real life. almost better than their pictures. u smile at them, small bows and introductions before the cameras begin rolling. you see him and can't help but smile wider, he really is unreal.

the pd yells action and as if a new person, you're immediately more confident, reciting the script like it was engraved in your mind. "hello everyone, welcome to dingo's new show forever idol!, you've waited a long time huh? well we won't waste much time and introduce our guests for the first ep, a group who has always been very close to dingo. everyone please welcome seventeen!" small cheering by the staff followed by hoshi's "say the name" intro.

it's hard to say what exactly it is, but seventeen's energy is so calming. you don't feel like you're interviewing top idols, it feels like they're old childhood friends. the interview goes extremely smoothly, it's as if this is something you've done before. you're glad seventeen were able to make the mood a bit more lively and cheerful, they really are just a group of best friends.

asking the questions makes you understand seventeen more. the way hoshi always is excited to answer and ends up cutting someone off mid-sentence, how dk is always joining hoshi in his acts making sure he's never alone, seungkwan is always making sure that you're okay with hosting and is asking questions to you too. mingyu keeps laughing at everything and everyone and chan joins in to give small comments. vernon is usually quite, he sits back and just enjoys his members answers. sometimes he answers, and he's always answering in such a thoughtful way, it's admirable.

you wrap up your ending and the cameras are cut. you get up and offer to shake all of their hands, which they take eagerly. you get to shake vernons hand and he gives u a small smile. u return it and hope that the faint red tint creeping up your neck to your cheeks isn't noticible by him.

the pd says you guys can take some rest so they can film a behind video, ones where they run around asking them random questions. you excuse yourself from the group to the snacks aisle in the other room.

maybe it's because you're nervous, or scared, that u almost drop ur phone at the mention of your name. u catch your phone before it drops and see seungkwan and vernon before you"we surprised you huh? haha sorry but y/n we have a very serious and important question." seungkwan starts, emphasising the "serious and important" part.

you say a small yes when seungkwan hands the mic to vernon and he continues "so y/n fried chicken or ramen" a very serious question indeed u think. after a few seconds of thought u say your answer "fried chicken, it's my comfort food" and vernon gives u a victory high five with a smile while seungkwan looks to the camera in a rant about how fried chicken makes bloating worse and what not. honestly you couldn't pay attention, not when vernon looked at u.

the rest of the interviews were fun to watch, you got to know hoshi and dk LOVE having the camera on them and that dino likes being called handsome more than cute. never a dull moment with seventeen.

it's about 6pm when everyone is wrapping up to leave and u see jiwoo come in the room. she talks to a few staff and comes towards you.

"ready to leave?"

"yeah just let me check if I forgot something" you say as u turn towards the green room area. as you're about to walk you see vernon outside seventeen's room on the phone with someone. now you have 2 options, face vernon while going to your room Or just hope that you've left nothing behind.

"yeah let's go I don't think I'll leave something"

synopsis - you get invited to your first MAMA awards after debuting as a soloist. a dream come true for u. your fans are ecstatic but they can't help but notice how this one idol keeps stealing glances at u......and you can't ignore it either.

pairing — vernon x gn!reader

genre/s — smau, idol au, fluff, minor angst

warnings — a lot of cursing

previous | masterlist | next

note — giggling🤭 sorry for the late post I wanted to post the interview part on my birthday 😭😭 we grow older with simp hansol💯

also um english isn't my first language so forgive me if there's any mistakes just pretend I wrote this correctly. I'm going to try to keep this series mainly smaus but I feel like I needed to write this part out to express the interview moments a bit better 🫶

taglist :

@spilled-coffee-cup @atinytinaa @matchahyuck @wonwoos-wineparty @kawennote09 @weird-bookworm @idkwwhatimmdoiing

@maiamorrrrrrrrrrrr @thehao8 @blurryriki @atinytinaa @delicatewinterenthusiast @stqrrgirle @cloelinnnnn @sp1ng @venusprada @hellohannie @ahuihoeeee

@ddokye

@jeonghansshitester @cienlvrs @vernyangel

@thefroggybazaar

#hansol x reader #seventeen #seventeen smau #hansol vernon chwe #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagines #seventeen series #seventeen x reader #vernon #vernon smau #seventeen hansol #choi hansol #vernon fluff #seventeen vernon #vernon imagines #svt x reader #svt fluff #—notice you🪩

[another-lost-mc]

AGHJHJJ I NEW BRAINROT FOUND

HAZBIN HOTEL X OBEY ME????

WHAT IF ALASTOR IS FEM!MC'S BFF LIKE REALLY CLOSE THAT PPL THINKS THEY'RE A COUPLE BUT THEY'RE NOT (ig, no one rlly knows) , ACKKKK HOW DOES THE OC'S THINK ABT IT

LETS BEGIN

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU TAKE THIS TWELVE INCH DI—

THE BRAIN ROT IS REAL! Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are both amazing in their own ways.

I've thought about a HH x OM crossover before and I treat it the same way I do the other demon/hell-based crossovers with selfships/characters I like. I could go into a whole tangent about integrating those different power structures into the existing OM universe but I should probably leave that for another post.

Anyway!

Let's pretend that Alastor has a similar rep in the OM universe as he does in Hazbin Hotel - he's charismatic and mysterious, yet the rumors about his ruthless and power-hungry nature are alarming at best and terrifying at worst. He can be quite monstrous, like any proper sinner demon should be.

Of course, the rest of MC's acquaintances/friends/lovers would be concerned if MC suddenly started hanging out with a demon like him. Alastor is kind to MC - too kind, perhaps. Why is he suddenly interested in befriending a random human like MC, when he could just as easily try to win Solomon's favour instead? It's all very suspicious at the beginning, but the more time they spend together, the worse it seems. MC doesn't understand why their other friends don't like him no matter how much they reassure everyone that their impressions of Alastor are wrong or misguided.

Even if Alastor's motives for being close to MC are platonic only, the other demons in MC's social circle still question whether or not he can be trusted.

KARASU: Alastor doesn't like TV and I can't see him liking the D.D.D. or internet technology either. He might use it sparingly if necessary, but I think he'd prefer to remain disconnected from it as much as possible. He probably doesn't even have his own D.D.D. and that makes it more challenging for a tech-savvy demon like Karasu to learn about him or monitor his activities. He'd be extremely suspicious of Alastor befriending MC, especially since Alastor rarely uses the D.D.D. to communicate, but he doesn't know how to articulate his concerns without potentially upsetting MC in the process.

AZRA & ZEE: They've done horrible things in the past and they know all of the Devildom's most dangerous demons. The thought of MC spending time with Alastor bothers them both. Azra can be just as charming and lays it on thick when Alastor's around. The Fall even plays jazz music from the human world as a novelty event when Alastor and MC visit together. It's all a pretense to be a gracious host even though both demons know their smiles and friendly platitudes are acts they put on for MC's sake.

While Azra is doing his job and actually running his club for once, Zee's solution to the Alastor problem is more covert. He spends a lot of time monitoring MC when they spend time with Alastor in the Devildom. He also tries to track Alastor when MC isn't present, but the Radio Demon is more cautious when he's alone. He's a slippery demon to spy on, and Zee suspects he knows he's being followed.

TENEBRIS: He's one of the OCs that doesn't really hide his dislike of Alastor. He downplays it a bit for MC's sake, but he makes it perfectly clear that he's not buying whatever wholesome BFF act that Alastor is trying to sell. Alastor thinks all of MC's other demon friends are ridiculous to treat him the way they do - not that he blames them exactly, but it gets tiring dealing with their antics. Tenebris is one of the few demons that warns Alastor directly that he'll regret it if he should ever do anything to harm MC. He has the Prince's favour to protect him from potential consequences and the magical strength to follow through with his threats. Alastor actually respects him more for that, and he might consider whether or not some sort of deal with the wayward mage might be beneficial to him in the future...

#jes.replies #jes.oc asks #my oc: karasu #my oc: azra #my oc: zekhan #crossover: om x hh

[xailey56]

While I’m on the subject, because I didn’t know that much about Jaiden and Roier in the begining they were one of the pairs that made me think that maybe the pairs actually were random rather than being prepicked out or at least made me think that only a few of the pairs were planned and the rest random but now I’m thinking that all of the pairs were preselected by presumably Quackity and the pairs that ended up not really working out (ie Fit and Spreen or Dan and Maxo) only didn’t really work out because of the nature of the egg event. 

Quackity has said that he didn’t really expect the egg event to end up like this, that he didn’t expect everyone to get this attached and what I think he was probably assuming was that the players would treat the eggs more like a pet, essentially like a tamagotchi and that the event would be more low key. And maybe it would have been if the eggs were just mobs, but instead the eggs from the beginning have been extremely child coded and having real people who can talk even if it is only using signs just cemented them as the players children.

 Assuming that Quackity was trying to optimize the pairs for the best potential for interesting interactions that are fun to watch or people he thought would get along really well, maybe he was exactly on the money about the pairs that didn’t really end up spending that much time with each other but because of the nature of the event we didn’t really get to see that dynamic explored.

For example I believe Spreen has basically said he isn’t really that interested in the egg event, that he doesn’t really want to roleplay an egg dad and that’s totally fine. Most of the players have ended up being drawn in by the event, but it’s understandable that it wouldn’t be for everyone. But because of this I can’t help but wonder how things would have panned out if the event was something completely different. Using Spreen as an example again maybe he and Fit would have made a really fun duo in a different kind of event and they could have had a really interesting dynamic. They’re another pair that I don’t really know a lot about either of them, but I think I saw that Spreen is a good pvper and Fit is known for tb2t content so I can definitely think of some event types where that would make for a very interesting dynamic.

On the flip side I’m also wondering if the event was different would some of the pairs that work really well together now have a different dynamic or not work as well in that different event. Like would Slime and Mariana still be playing a couple constantly on the verge of divorce who can’t stop having weird live Minecraft sex? I feel like probably not, but what even would their dynamic look like without it. Or Foolish and Vegetta? Would their dynamic be similar because they were already starting to get along and are the builders of the server or would it be different? Would Bad have actually gotten paired with Luzu (like he should have because of the rules of the event) since this hypothetical event might not have leant itself to creating potential shippable pairs as well as being literal parents does and Quackity wouldn’t have had an excuse to play up a potential love triangle between him and two people he’s already shipped with. What would that dynamic have even looked like?

I don’t know, this is just something I’ve been thinking about because I just feel like for a lot of the pairs they work too well for them to have been random and I really feel like Quackity knew what he was doing and thanks to it we have some really amazing interactions between the various members of the server.

#qsmp #quackity #jaiden animations #roier #spreen #fitmc #slimecicle #el mariana #foolish gamers #vegetta777 #badboyhalo #luzu

[jewish-vents]

i have a mutual (a black goy) who’s made multiple posts talking about how she finds it really annoying when white ppl expect to be coddled and have their accidental racism explained to them like a child by random black ppl which yk is a completely fair thing to be annoyed about but she does the exact same thing with antisemitism.

multiple times i’ve had to explain to her that she was reblogging mildly repackaged centuries old extremely antisemitic propaganda all while being extremely careful with my words to make sure i don’t sound like a bad jew zionist. i always have to make sure i confirm that i knowwww she didn’t mean to say anything antisemitic it is just that that post is basically a rewrite of a real life nazi speech and is kiiinnnnda ahistorical (yeah the zionists didn’t make up that that massive historical event of antisemitism happened it was a real thing) sorry i don’t mean to be rude i just thought you’d want to know :))

and on top of all that one time a few hours before i sent her the ask i made a post about so many mutuals reblogging antisemitic stuff and she replied saying something like “i didn’t know it was antisemitic u gotta tell me if i say that stuff” (it wasn’t that in ur face abt it i can’t remember her exact wording this was a couple of months ago but it was pretty similar to that)

like girl do u not see how ur doing exactly what pisses u tf off? like ily we’ve been mutuals for over a year and ur fun asf when we’re in a fandom together but god do u not see what ur doing? again i love her as a mutual normally but god her casual antisemitism drives me insane and i’m scared to call her out on anything i can’t provide sited sources about it’s cartoonishly evil antisemitic origins for fear of being blocked and being vagued abt as some white zionist harassing her or smthn. (idk i don’t think she’d go that far for most stuff but atp idk)

.

#jewish vents #antisemitism #leftist hypocrisy

[skulla-rxcks]

Scented body wash

Paring: Bang chan x Lee felix

Rating: explicit

Genre: smut, idol au

Warnings: m4sturbation, an4l, Chan has some really horny thoughts

Day 23 of k-tober

Taglist: @f3lix00 @channiesgoodgirl @mal-lunar-28

!THIS IS PURE FICTION, NOTHING IN THIS IS REAL ITS JUST A STORY!

As soon as the boys finish on stage Chan sighs, grabbing a random towel that was placed on the seat. “God damn I’m tired.. so fucking sweaty..”

he groans, rubbing the towel on his forehead and face to get some of the sweat off. “We are all, plus you did good hyung.” Changbin praises him, taking his shirt off revealing his swallow muscles and sitting down to cool off.

“Yeah yeah, thanks.” Chan replies clearly pissed off and tired from the performance.

He notices Felix in the corner of his eye; he’s sitting on hyunjin’s lap while laughing at stuff on his phone, Chan can’t help but feel a hint of jealous run through his body in a quick flash. God knows where the hell the other guys are at this moment.

“I’ll be back soon, gonna shower.” He mumbles, purposely leaving his spare clothes with the boys, due to a sickening idea running through his head for later.

Chan steps out of his costume that he wore for the last half of the concert, turning the tap on and making sure the waters at a nice temperature just between it being warm and boiling hot before stepping into the shower and closing the curtain. Due to still being at the venue there’s not much for Chan to wash himself with except for borrowing his members shower products. He steps out of the shower, leaving the water on before walking over and rummaging through Felix’s bag; taking out some body wash along with shampoo before getting back into the shower and placing the products onto the floor.

He squeezes out a decent amount of Felix’s body wash into his hands, it smells exactly like him which causes Chan to get hard and erected instantly.

He groans; both frustrated and horny that the scent of his friends literal BODY WASH can cause him to get turned on instantly. Chan begins rubbing the soapy mixture onto his already leaking cock, moaning as the scent fills up the shower, making him think of Felix and if he was touching him. “Fuck.. oh my god yes.” He moans out, rubbing his hand faster on his dick, thrusting his hips forward into his hand; imagining he was pumping inside of Felix’s tight little asshole instead of his own hand. “Mm fuck..” Chan growls, cumming all over his own hand, his eyes shutting and rolling back in pleasure as he orgasms.

He decides to squirt more body wash out, actually washing the rest of his body and not just his cock his time, his hands travel along his body, rubbing in the mixture; watching as the bubbles begin form along his soft and pale skin, he mostly focuses on rubbing the body wash along his chest, rubbing his nipples as he does so. After finishing with his body he moves onto washing his hair; using about half of the size he did with the body wash. He runs his fingers through his hair and cleans each tiny bunch thoroughly with his fingertips before washing it out a few minutes after. Chan steps out of the shower and begins to dry himself with a towel, biting his lip softly as he feels the soft material brush against his still hard cock due to still being extremely horny from the thoughts that were playing in his mind earlier.

Chan grabs his phone that he placed next to the sink and begins to type a message out to send to Felix. ‘Hey, could you please bring in my clothes? I accidentally left them with you guys. Haha.’ Annnnd sent. Felix’s response comes almost immediately after the text was sent: ‘yep yep ofc :)’

Perfect. Exactly what Chan wanted to happen. The door slides open revealing Felix, he hands the clothes to Chan and then begins to leave. “Felix. Wait!” Chan calls out, Felix goes into the room with him; Cleary confused about whatever the fuck Chan wants from him.

Chan wants his actions to take over him but he’s too scared to. “Fuck, Lixie. Look this is such a weird request but may I f-“ He gets cut off. “Fuck me?” Felix finishes his words, leaving Chan stunned at how he knew. Chan nods shyly, scratching his head while extremely flustered. “Been thinking about how it would feel to have you inside me anyways~ Been touching myself to the thought of your dick in my ass.” Felix smirks, taking his pants and boxers off, getting on his hands and knees with his ass facing Chan. He takes a deep breath and pushes himself into the younger ones hole, groaning at how tight his ass is around his cock. “You ready?” Chan asks, confirming that Felix in fact does want this, he nods, signalling Chan to start moving. His thrusts begin to get faster and harder by the second, loving the feel of Lixie’s ass stretched around his dick. He holds onto Felix’s hips, slamming himself harder and harder inside of him, cumming inside of him not even a few minutes later. “Fuck..” Chan moans out, pushing the boy against the wall as kissing his lips before helping each other get dressed.

“Don’t tell the others about what we did, yeah?” Chan reassures.

#~skulla rxcks #stray kids smut #skz smut #kpop smut #bang chan smut #bangchan smut #leefelix smut #lee felix smut #chanlix smut

[bleachbleachbleach]

Helloooo love your meta posts esp wrt to language so much!! It really has elevated my appreciation for the series by A LOT lol so thank you!

I have a question regarding ch 98 that's been bugging me incessantly: in the official translatjon renji says "all i do is bark at the moon", however in fan translations (and anime) renji is seen to be referring to a star. I am unable to find the raws anywhere to ascertain the finality of this conundrum so I was wondering if you could clarify what exactly is the 'object' renji is referring to here and lend us your thoughts?

Thank you for reading! I started this reread because I knew that the potential to really revel in this kind of stuff was already there, but I am really enjoying jumping into it full-on and wondering about and learning about a lot of extremely random things as I go. I'm really enjoying it!

[Bleach 098]

The Short Version

In the Japanese, Renji says, 星に向かって吠えるばっか ― which could be translated as "I’m just barking at the stars." 

The word he uses is 星 (hoshi), star, not moon. My guess is that the Viz chose "moon" because it’s more idiomatic in English to howl at the moon, and the phrase conveys that sense of lone wolf yearning/misdirection--particularly given that he’s talking about Rukia, and Rukia already has some moon imagery associated with her.

The catch is, the concept of "howling at the moon" also exists in Japanese; for example, there’s a famous modern poet named Hagiwara Sakutarou who wrote a collection titled 月に吠える、or, well, "Howling at the Moon." (You’ll notice the same verb, but 月 (tsuki/moon) instead of 星 (hoshi/star). But that's not what Renji says. I’d argue that it’s worth considering the idea that Renji was making a choice in not using that idiom! 

The Very Long Version

Stars and Moons and Monkeys and Tigers and Snakes and Dogs and-- oh my!

Tomes have been written about celestial symbolism, in Bleach and otherwise. I’m not a big celestial symbolism person, because they’re such BIG symbols I feel like sometimes they can feel very locked in, if that makes sense? Like X = moon and moon = Y and therefore X = Y. And while I love an extended metaphor, my preference is for very unstable, borderline sloppy referents. Which isn’t to say that celestial symbolism can’t be unstable and sloppy, too, and that’s what I really like about this whole Renji section. Renji is the KING of "imagistically, there is a lot going on here, my man."

As far as folklore is concerned, reaching for the moon might call to mind the story of the monkey reaching for the moon’s reflection:

The branch the monkey’s hanging from breaks and he falls into the water. His folly lies in failing to distinguish between what is real and what is illusion.

One one hand, this is fitting for Renji, our resident howler monkey. I don’t know how much baboon we’ve actually seen at this point, but we’ll see Zabimaru’s nue form very shortly. But of course Zabimaru isn’t just a monkey—he also has the head of a snake. And we have this dog imagery, coming from both Renji’s affiliation with Inuzuri and other body parts in some versions of the nue. And later we’ll have TIGER in the mix, too!!

There’s SO much going on. If Renji were a Project Runway creation, Tim Gunn would probably invite his creator edit—maybe choose one motif, one metaphor, one guy who will scan well on the runway.

But Renji exists in excess, he IS all those things, both in terms of his chimerical zanpakutou spirit and in terms of everything we’ve seen of him thus far: tearing through Ishida and Ichigo; herding butterflies with Rikichi; stunting with Rukia in jail; delivering Rukia to prison; getting stunted on by Aizen in a supply closet; being friends with Hinamori; tearing through Ichigo a second time; and now, finally, giving it all up and begging Ichigo: Just save her.

Bone Metaphors

The reader hasn’t seen it yet, but Renji knows what form Zabimaru’s bankai takes. In addition to all those animals and their potential allegories, we also have bone. In Renji's earlier line, there’s an idiom that I wish were preserved:

In the Viz, he says, "I’ll always be a stray dog." In the Japanese, his line is 「骨の髄まで野良犬根性が染み付いてやがるんだ.」Which could be translated as "I am, indelibly, a stray dog to the marrow of my bones /contemptuously." Or, more succinctly:

"I’m a stray dog to the bone."

I love this line because it’s reaching toward Renji’s challenge to Byakuya, insinuating still more layers to Renji’s multitudes.

Different Flavors of Disgust

Still thinking about Renji’s second act in this arc, I am also interested in his subsequent line. He says 厭になるぜ (iya ni naruze), or, in the Viz, "It makes me sick." But I was curious about the kanji 厭 (iya), because it’s more commonly written 嫌 (iya), which can be used as a negative interjection, or, pronounced differently, as the same word you’d use if you hated snails, or homework, or something―嫌い (kirai). Using the kanji 厭 is a less common spelling, though the meaning is similar. So I was like, well, what is the difference? According to this article, the kanji Renji uses is a lot more common in Chinese. If 嫌 is an expression of digust or hatred, 厭 suggests that you’ve specifically gotten tired of something (and are now disgusted with it). It’s the kanji you’d use to create the word for a pessimistic worldview, 厭世観 (enseikan). That is all to say, Renji has become sick and tired of it, and he’s about to change tack.

Failing Poetry 101

Coming back around to the original line, I really like Renji’s "I’m just barking at the stars" specifically because it doesn’t really reference any existing idiom, as might howling at the moon. "Barking at the moon" is an interesting middle ground, in that "barking" definitely feels more dog-like and howling more wolf-like; barking is less majestic, which fits with Renji’s description being derogatory of himself. Renji is not a poet in his use of loaded idioms but in his negation of them. And if Rukia can be described by moon imagery, she too contains multitudes and I think it's well within her power to be the stars, too.

Kira, as Renji’s most poetic friend, probably rolls partway into his grave whenever Renji says stuff like this, because it breaks poetic form. But I think he’s probably also kind of envious that Renji thinks this stuff up, because it’s fresh, new, off-kilter imagery, it is its own kind of poetry, and let's be real, the moon imagery market is fairly saturated. *frames moon with giant rebar hole in body*

So I’d say, "howling at the moon" conjures a certain kind of poetry, steeped in all the macro-folkloric meanings of the moon and dogs/wolves. "Barking at the moon" is kind of half-half. "Barking at the stars" is not a pre-existing idiom (or poem, or expected language), and conjures a completely different referent(s), the immediate of which is, of course, the volume’s own poem. Renji is out here Renji-ing it.

[Bleach Vol. 11 poem]

#this post has blorbo disease #i feel like every part of this should be expanded but also the tl;dr is already so real #i just like him ok #abarai renji #bleach manga #bleach reread 2021 #bleach カラー #bleach language #asks #no brain just bleach

[fandoomrants]

Okay, so I'm fully into my HP obsession again (honestly, I don't care what anyone says or how much the world tries to cancel this fandom. This is my childhood, it's a part of me that's always there and I eventually go back to between the other things) and therefore, the Marauders era's obsession.

And like, I've always loved them for some reason. Honestly, when I found fandoms and stuff and saw they're actually almost a fandom on it's own, I was so happy and relieved that I'm not the only one. (I realised at one point that I love HP yet I've never read a fic that's not about them from this fandom...)

But I've been thinking about some things and also came across some random videos summarizing what we know about them (because there are so many hcs that most people accept as common that it's easy to forget the real facts) and now I have so many thoughts I need to share because they haunt me.

-They were like... Big jerks. Especially James and Sirius. Mostly them, tbh. Like, not only because we see them from Snape's perspective in memories and he hates them but because, well, they were mean. Especially Sirius (he's my absolutely favourite character but still), he's done pretty shitty things. I think James mostly had beef with Snape but they were overall kinda bullies.

-Even though I love Wolfstar just as much as 90% of this fandom (I mean the Marauders era), I think they're a famous ship just because we get to see interactions between them while alive and not just flashbacks but I don't think they were really close back in the days. James and Sirius were the ones extremely close and maybe if we had seen extended Marauders' interactions or they were eventually all alive, then most likely Wolfstar wouldn't have been that popular.

-I'm 99% sure that the great friendship between Lily and Remus is completely fan-made. I believe Remus was the most reasonable (but nobody can convince me he wasn't the mastermind behind 99% of their pranks at the same time) and wasn't into being mean with anyone so it's possible that they were interacting on much better terms than her and James (I mean, until they got together) but I don't think they could have ever been called friends.

-In fact, canonly, Sirius was taller than Remus. (What a shock, right?)

-Lots of people say stuff like "Who was the fifth guy in their dorm?" and there are many theories about it but do we even have a proof that the four of them were in the same dorm at all? Nope.

-Now that's my personal opinion but... I absolutely believe they were really good friends and while at school at least, nobody was left out intentionally but... Maybe Peter betrays them in the end because of some build up stuff throughout the years. We know James and Sirius meet on Hogwarts Express and immediately become best friends. We don't know when Remus and Peter join exactly but it must have been shortly after, I think Peter is pretty much the last who joins. Seeing how some of the people are very good friends, it's a bit hard to truly feel a part of a friend group and might make you feel a bit left out at times (but that's basically a rule in every friend group, tbh. There are the two best friends and well... the other, still close friends).There's also the fact that Peter canonly wears the Sorting hat for over five minutes so here you have another episode of feeling kind of left out. Then later they learn about Remus and they all decide to support him and even learn how to transform and Peter is the last to learn how to do it too. Then even later, James and his family take Sirius in. What I'm trying to say is, we have no canon information of any of them doing anything for Peter and I'm not saying that they weren't good friends, it's just that he was exposed to them doing stuff for each other, and like, really big stuff too (granted, it was really all about helping a friend in a big need) but he was never the center of it + some occasions that might have left him feel kind of uncertain and uneasy about himself like not being sorted for a longer time or needing help to transform. And the result might be feeling emotionally distant from the group and with desire to prove himself worthy of something. So, that's maybe why he finally turns to Voldemort.

-They canonly don't trust Remus much by the end and even suspect he might be Voldemort's spy.

-There is a big chance that Harry and Remus really meet when Harry is 13, meaning that he never saw him as a baby.

-Speaking of feeling left out earlier... I think Remus might have also felt so more often than not. I think they were all into innocent pranks but he wasn't into actively being a jerk, especially considering that he was someone who would have gotten lots of hate if people knew about the werewolf thing. The stupid prank in 5th year must have been a real punch in the gut too. The fact that he gets to stop interacting with them and they even start mistrusting him. Lots of things, really. AND HE STILL NEVER BETRAYED THEM, WAS NEVER A JERK TO ANY OF THEM, AND GOT TO LIVE FOR 12 YEARS BELIEVING THAT ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS KILLED THE OTHER TWO!!!

Okay. I made myself enough sad for one evening. Might add more to this.

#harry potter #hp #hogwarts #marauders era #marauders #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #wolfstar #rant

[suhnflowerstay]

game night

mark lee x afab!reader

a/n: this is based on a real life situation so it might not be super relatable (no description of what reader looks like besides the fact that they’re afraid of sitting on his lap)

and it is not representative of any characteristics the idols have or anything lol it does require the knowledge of Jackbox Games. quiplash is a game where you get a prompt and you anonymously write down what you think is the funniest answer and everyone votes for the funniest one. i'm posting this twice because i originally wrote it for mark but my sister thought it was well suited for chan as well soooo yeah!

wc: 2.9k

tags: toxic situationship vibes (like really toxic), smoking (barely mentioned, high emotions, angst, smut, sad ending

----------------

You and Mark had known each other for a few years. You had initially met on vacation and got each other's contact information to keep in touch. You were talking all the time and FaceTiming nearly every day. You were friends, such close friends that you decided to go to the same university. Once you moved to his area for college, you were spending all your time with each other. Eventually, the sexual tension between you began to build and before you knew it, your situationship began.

A few months before your friends with benefits relationship with Mark began, he had been sharing with you how messy his previous arrangement went. You had seen other girls come and go because they could never handle him sticking by his word and refusing to commit to them. You were also not interested in commitment, so you felt comfortable going into it. You knew exactly who you were friends with, so you assumed you would be fine. You were just friends who had a sexual attraction to each other. There was no reason that having sex would have to complicate things, right? Wrong.

Yes, there are people who can have a healthy friends with benefits style relationship. Sex is easy to detach from for some more than others. Your relationship with Mark was anything but detached. You were best friends who had sex, and the gray area was extremely gray. You were practically dating without the label, and that brought a lot of negative feelings bubbling up. But you both didn't want commitment. You were terrified of being vulnerable in that way and he, well… he just loved the attention.

Mark's cousin Haechan was hosting a game night with some friends, and Mark wanted you to come along and meet everyone. When you two arrived at Haechan’s house, you introduced yourself, and the first words out of Haechan's mouth were:

“Are you the one that called on Christmas?”

Immediately, Mark jumped into action to try to shut Haechan up. He stood in front of you and blocked Haechan from view, mumbling, “No, that was someone else.” You knew he had a previous situationship leading up to your situationship with him; this was no secret. You knew this because you were the one to talk him through the end of that relationship. You just hadn't realized how intense it must've been if Mark was bringing that "friend with benefits" to meet the family.

You had small talk with Haechan, asking him what his major was, and he asked yours. He offered you drinks and snacks, and you took a seat on the sectional with Mark taking the seat right next to you. You two were in your own little world, giggling about god knows what while he had his arm around you, when all of a sudden the door behind you swings open.

“MARK PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVE DONE THE ENGINEERING HOMEWORK!” the disheveled boy yelled. You giggled because of how insane this random man appeared with his backpack barely slung over his shoulder, hair a mess, running up to take a seat on the couch diagonal to you two.

“Y/N, this is Jaemin. Jaemin, this is Y/N.”

Jaemin’s brain is going a million miles an hour, and the first thing he thinks to ask is:

“Are you two dating?”

You and Mark look at each other, and he says, “No, we’re just friends.”

“Oh," Jaemin says, "Well, it looks like you two are dating.”

Jaemin proceeds to talk to Mark about whatever homework they had, and his whole demeanor has you nearly falling off the couch with how hard he has you laughing. He has major himbo energy and says everything with so much passion. At one point, he ends a story he's telling with, “WHATEVER FUCKOOO!”

Soon, more of Haechan and (kind of) Mark's friends start showing up. A tall guy who catches your eye greets you. He says his name is Johnny and makes light conversation with you, asking how you know Mark and Haechan and asking how long you've lived in the city. Two guys walk in who are semi-shy and kind of just talking to each other. Mark tells you they're younger and more on the shy side, especially with people they don't know. They are, however, ready to play games and are super impatient, not willing to wait for the rest of the group. There are also three guys in the corner smoking, waiting for more people to show up. One of them catches your eye as his dimples are on display while giggling with his friends. Eventually, the rest of the group shows up, and the party can begin.

Haechan loads up Jackbox Games, and your group plays Trivia Murder Party for a few rounds, and then, a guy named Yuta says he thinks the group should play Quiplash. There are a few rounds where you make some pretty good jokes, and all of the guys hype you up, telling Mark he brought someone super funny to game night. You even make a quip at Mark's expense, and Jaemin high-fives you. At this point, you've had a few drinks, and you aren't drunk, just tipsy. But you absolutely need to pee. You ask Mark where the bathroom is, since this is his cousin's house, and Mark leads you to the bathroom, waiting for you outside the door. Once you’re done, he drags you to the empty bedroom across from the bathroom and lays back on the bed, pulling you down you on top of him.

“Are you having fun?” he looks up at you.

“Mhm," you hum, "are you?”

“Yeah."

"Your friends are nice. Jaemin's super funny. I can't believe he's real,” you giggle.

"Yeah, he is... ok, c'mon. Let’s go back before they think we’re having sex or something," he says abruptly. You thought his response was weird, but you didn't think too much about it.

Upon returning to the living room, you see your seat on the couch was stolen by a few of the guys, and you are now forced to sit on a recliner in the corner to watch the game from there. There’s only one seat though, so you just stand while Mark takes the seat.

“What are you doing?" he questions, "Come on. Sit down.”

You pause. “I-I'm okay. I don’t want to like hurt your legs or anyth-”

Mark pulls you down on his lap, so you’re forced to sit down on him. He asks if you want to smoke, and you take a singular hit, not really interested in doing that, and watch the game from afar. Jaemin has his eyes trained on you two, and you feel his stare. You turn to look at him, and he yells from across the room, “Are you sure you guys aren’t dating?”

You giggle saying, "Yes, we’re sure we aren’t dating."

He tilts his head to the side like a confused puppy and proceeds to ask “So, are you guys cousins?” and you cannot stop yourself from keeling over because what does he MEAN?? What kind of line of questioning is that? Why would his brain jump from dating to cousins? You look at Mark incredulously as you both laugh and confirm once again that you are just friends.

You two keep watching the game, rather than participate, and go back to your own little world until Mark decides he’s ready to go home. You follow him out, saying a single goodbye to everyone in the room. Everyone bids you goodbye in their own way with many of the guys saying how nice it was to meet you and how you should definitely come to game night again. You two walk out and Mark unlocks the car before remembering he has to go back in to get something from Haechan. You sit and wait in the car, smiling to yourself, and text your best friend about game night. You make sure to mention the beautiful man you met and how funny it was that he asked if you and Mark were cousins.

Once he enters the car, he slides his hand onto your thigh.

“Did you have fun?” he asks, leaning in to give you a kiss.

“Yes, actually. I really didn't think I would, but that was so nice and all of your friends seem so cool! Jaemin is such a himbo it’s so funny... I can’t believe you guys are taking the same classes.” you add.

You don't notice, but Mark's hand clenches the steering wheel. He doesn’t say anything and begins the drive home. You stop by the grocery store on your way home to pick up some snacks, and everything between you and Mark seems pretty light hearted.

You get back to Mark’s place, shower, and change into pajamas. You two sit on the couch for a bit longer watching shows and just snacking, cuddled up together. You get up to go to the restroom, leaving your phone behind on the coffee table, and when you come back, Mark is in a noticeably different mood. His body language is tense, and he’s moved away from your original spot.

“Markie… what’s wrong?” you ask, still standing.

“Nothing. What are you talking about?”

“It just seems like... like there’s something bothering you,” you insisted.

“Why would anything be bothering me? You’re literally making something out of nothing!” he snapped.

Now, you're officially in a bad mood.

“Fine then! Forget I even asked,” you huffed, collapsing onto the opposite side of the couch to go through your phone.

Half an hour later, your anger has subsided, and you're back to being invested in the show you’re watching. Then, the leading man betrays his love interest.

“Ughhhhhh," you drone, "Why does every man suck? Like even him? You have to be joking.”

“I bet Jaemin would never do that…” Mark mumbled mockingly from his side of the couch.

“What the actual fuck did you just say?” you snarled.

“Nothing.”

“Please do not fucking tell me that you’re upset over Jaemin, a man I only just met a few hours ago,” you scoffed.

“Oh, so you’re counting the hours,” Mark said, not even looking at you.

“Mark, shut the fuck up! What are you saying right now? What is your deal? I don’t even know or care about Jaemin!”

“You sure seemed to care when you texted your friend about how hot and funny you thought he was,” he said, finally looking up at you to see your reaction.

“Motherfucker, you went through my phone? Again? Are you fucking joking? Why would you do that?”

“I didn’t! I saw you texting it,” he tried to say, but you knew that was a lie because you had texted your friend right when you got into the car. He absolutely went through your phone, but this was not the first time.

“You’re a fucking liar, Mark. I know you didn’t see me texting it. And either way, what does it matter to you? Newsflash! In case you weren't aware, I’m not your girlfriend! You made sure of it, and you also made sure everyone knew that tonight!”

Mark scoffed, “What did you want me to say to them? 'Oh yeah we’re fucking’?”

“it doesn’t matter what you say to them because we aren’t anything. And that means you don’t get to be upset over me texting my friend that i thought your friend was attractive," you emphasize, "You’ve done far worse or would you like me to remind you about your sexting with Winter or sending good morning and goodnight texts to Arin when you couldn’t even find two seconds to text me back even if it was just to let me know you were busy?"

Mark sits there knowing he can't say anything to that.

"You have even less of a right to be upset because of all the shit you pull all of the time, so I’m not going to apologize for sending my friend one text about a cute boy I will probably never see again." you finish.

“So you would want to see him again?” he tries to say steadily, but his voice cracks.

You look up and see that Mark is looking at the ground now and has tears in his eyes.

“Mark…” you put your arm around him and embrace him.

“I get it, though, like he’s so much more than I could ever be," he sniffles, "He’s so funny without even trying, and he’s just so cute and attractive and everything about him screams 'y/n's type.' I don’t blame you for being interested.”

He pushes himself up to lock eyes with you. “It’s only you, you know? I know you saw the texts or whatever with other girls, but I only care about you. No one else could ever be you. I promise that at the end of the day, no matter what, I only want you.”

He looks down at your lips and hesitates before he kisses you. The kiss starts off slow and slowly progresses into a more passionate, needy one. Mark is grabbing at your hips, your stomach, your arms, whatever he can get a grip on. He starts whining and pulls away, “Please take off your clothes, sweetheart. I need you.”

You both strip down in his living room. Mark carefully lays you down on the couch and lines himself up with your pussy before slowly pushing himself in all the way without any issue. You guess high intensity and emotional situations just make you wet now after all the arguments you've had with this man.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so tight," he praises, "You always make me feel so big. it always feels like the first time.”

You moan and beg Mark to move, and slowly, he does. While there’s still a desperate neediness in the air, Mark is moving slowly and intentionally. He keeps his eyes fixed on yours while caressing your body. He praises every inch of you that he touches, littering you with compliments. He traces a finger along every curve and focuses on tracing circles on your tits, teasing your nipple ever so slightly before finally taking the buds between his fingers. He squeezes them, eliciting moans from your "pretty little mouth" as he calls it. He keeps one hand focused on your breast while he uses the other arm to hold himself up as he leans down to kiss you, maintaining the slow but steady rhythm. You wrap your legs and arms around him, pinning him to your chest. This position makes it so much more intimate, and you swear that he's hitting even deeper. The combination is pushing you right up to the edge. By the way Mark starts moaning, you can tell he feels the same.

“Fuck baby, I'm so close,” he groans

“Please cum inside me, Mark. I need it so bad.”

“Ugh, f-fuck, beautiful, I can’t until you do. Please cum with me baby and- fuck- and I’ll fill you up as much as you want.”

His words send you over the edge, catapulting you into a strong radiating orgasm. Your hands are grasping at his arms and back, leaving scratches in their wake, you're sure. It’s very different from what you’ve previously experienced, muted but long lasting, and you can feel it all over. Your orgasm triggers his, and he continues to fuck you through it until the overstimulation becomes too much. He pulls out of you and grabs some wipes to wipe you and himself down. He lays you down in bed and makes his way to lay down right alongside you. He sits up and places his hand on your cheek, turning your head to make you look at him.

“I-" he hesitated, "I’m sorry I went through your phone again,” he says, rubbing his thumb back and forth along your cheekbone.

“It’s okay, Mark,” you reassure him.

“I just- I knew you’d like him. I could tell from the way you were looking at him and how he was looking at you. That kid is never interested in other people’s relationships. I knew he was asking if we were dating, so he could ask you out, and it made me freak out," he sighs.

“You have no way of knowing that, Markie,” you reason.

“Regardless, I meant what I said. I know we aren’t official, but I'm only loyal to you.”

He lays back down, and you say nothing.

You say nothing because this is a conversation you have often.

You say nothing because as much as you want to commit to Mark, you probably also aren’t ready.

You say nothing because the previous statement is probably a lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better in this relationship you have with him.

You say nothing because you know there will be more instances of you finding text messages with other girls in which he gives them more compliments/attention/time than he gives you.

You say nothing because you know he isn’t loyal to you at all, and you’d rather not start another fight tonight.

You say nothing because there is nothing here to fight for.

You say nothing as he falls asleep in your arms, and you see his phone light up with a text.

jaemin: yo so is your friend single

#mark lee #nct mark #mark #mark x reader #mark lee x reader #lee mark x reader #nct x reader #nct angst #nct smut #mark angst #mark lee angst #mark smut #mark lee smut #nct mark x reader #mark x you #mark lee x you #nct #nct 127 #nct 127 x reader #nct dream #nct dream x reader

[kkbardd]

hello! i haven’t sent an ask in a while because schoolwork has been piling up infinitely :[ , but your recent posts have been really interesting to me! i really liked the room sketch one, I can’t exactly explain why but there’s something so indescribably human about it. i love spaces that looked lived in, that have personality, and I think that your room (current one? made up? old one?) has done a great job of showing that. and I’m not very good at giving advice— I can hardly follow it myself, but if you don’t know something, don’t know what you want to do, try things. it’s okay if you don’t like them. i recently found out I’m more competent in languages than I thought! i can already read and understand simple sentences in german.

there’s always more to yourself than you’ll know, I think, but the world is kinder than people think. If anything, everyone is still very new at this. we’ve never lived before. do the things you like, branch out, don’t become less of yourself for other people. everything has a place, and my best advice is to treat life as you would a vacation. do all the things you can while you’re here. build a life that makes it worth it. (sorry for the long ask and my rambling, or if this is overstepping in any way. i just read what you wrote and kind of related to it in a way. thank you for continuing to create art, it brings me a lot of joy! :] )

hey isopod!!! thanks for the ask & I wish u good luck with ur school work!

Thank u so much for the compliments, im really glad the vibe of my room was conveyed in those doodles. i absolutely looove drawing my room! It’s extremely small (a renovated utility closet) and just barely fits a bed + my desk but its packed full of the things i love. It’s very lived in and I feel like it reflects my character well.

when i drew that page I was in my senior year of high school and pressures to decide my future were overwhelming. I never thought much about it until then and I didn’t have any idea of what I was going to do. The only thing I felt I had going for me was art but I didn’t want to turn my only hobby into a job I hated. I remember going through a master list of majors on random college websites and one-by-one asking myself if I’d be okay doing it. In the end I had nothing. I was really crushed about it and felt stuck. This was right after the covid quarantine too so focusing in school was difficult & I couldn’t bring myself to apply for scholarships. I started skipping classes, smoking weed, and pushing off my assignments. All of this only made me feel more miserable, of course, so everything seemed pretty bleak at the time.

But luckily I had the support of my family and especially my mother. She would always remind me that “we have option”, “we always have options”. Because I did! This was a fresh start to try my hand at a totally different experience than what I’ve done so far. I ended up choosing my major on a complete whim after hearing my aunt had a job in an adjacent field. I was pretty sure I’d drop out after a semester, yet here I am about to graduate soon & I’m having a ton of fun!! (Hell, I’m 10 hours out in the middle of nowhere right now for my Field Methods class!) It’s not that I had a knack for Geology that I just never tapped into, or that i secretly had a passion for rocks this entire time; I just found something that seemed like an okay fit and grew interest from there. I think that a small level of commitment like that is more than enough to get you going. I had a ton of ideas in my head about how I needed to have a perfect fit major that would connect every dot I’ve laid out in my life thus far, but that’s not true at all. Life is much more messy and unpredictable than that.

But enough of my rambling!! That time of my life may have been stressful but I’m very grateful that I went through it! It changed how I viewed problems and it taught me to always look for other options when everything seems helpless.

Thank u so much for ur encouragement, I really appreciate it <33 I completely agree with everything u said!! Life is an ever changing experience & often leads u in unpredictable directions!

#ask #ilu isopod #I often look back on those sketches (and more that I just haven’t posted) #I find a kind of beauty in it idk how to explain it #teenage angst is just something we all gotta go thru #ranting #we have options

[altschmerzes]

I read the latest chapter of Wriggle Up On Dry Land like as soon as it was posted last night 😆 1:30 am my time, good choice right?! Anyways, random question but will we ever get a Jamie POV? Thank you for this incredibly well written and thought out story. Your writing is so good! You should be published for real!

THAT'S WHEN I POSTED IT SO LIKE.... GOOD CHOICES FOR BOTH OF US SLDKFJS

you're so nice to me aaaaaahhh thank you so much??? i dream of getting published some day tbh, it's on my life goals list for sure. fingers crossed for my origfic sports fiction novel XD (for a piece of fun fact Gav Trivia that's actually how i was first persuaded to watch ted lasso!! my beloved friend @anguishmacgyver said that the show reminded her of my project in the approach and storytelling priorities and strategies of the way ted lasso did sports fiction and i was like okay. fine. this comedy i have been avoiding because i don't like comedy is gonna get a fair shake. and boy howdy am i glad i did!!)

yes!!! yes we ABSOLUTELY will be getting quite a lot of jamie pov! the fact that we haven't gotten it yet is a very deliberate choice, as is the point at which we first get his pov. if you want that to be a surprise, suffice it to say it's on its way, if you'd like to know when (and the thought process behind it), it's under the cut!

the first time we get jamie's pov is after this au's version of 1x06 - which is to say, the first time we see jamie's pov, he's in manchester. that's... deliberate. it was my fiancee's idea actually when i was originally talking about this concept with them a while ago and it's perfect. that like. for the first while we, the reader, are separated from him by being stuck in the lens of the likes of ted, roy, keeley, etc. we... Know what's going on but we don't know-know, and we only know for sure what they know.

and then when we finally do land in his head and we find out exactly what Is going on, it's in the direct aftermath of this extremely abrupt and drastic change in his circumstances that makes things dramatically worse for him, and leaves him completely isolated in what he's experiencing. and then we're in it with him, isolated with him in it. so for now we're shut out, and then when we're in it uh. We Are In It. choosing povs is one of the trickiest parts of writing for me, but this was i think the perfect way to approach that.

#gav gab #gav answers #NICE TO MEEEEEE #fic: wriggle up on dry land #writing liveblog #people's enthusiasm for this fic and like #wanting to know about it and see more of it is fuelling me #i am superman in the sunshine etc

[rhysiana]

“this can’t be love”, Nursey/Dex, OMGCP, for @gayowulf

This is a snippet of a speedrun edition of a very long fic that lives in my head and is probably never going to get fully written the way I intended, in which Dex inherits a house from his great-aunt several years after graduation.

I can’t WRITE here, Nursey texted the group chat in extreme frustration. He’d been trying not to complain, because his parents were basically giving him a free sabbatical year to work on his book while they were working overseas (again) and he didn’t want to seem ungrateful, but it’d been a week since he produced real words and he was starting to go out of his mind.

Chowder: Oh no! You can do it!!!

Bitty: Do you need inspirational baked goods? What kind of theme are you going for? I can pop a box in the mail to you tomorrow!

Jack: *link to an internet-blocking timer app*

He sighed and tossed the phone on the couch before he could find out what kind of spreadsheet solution Ransom & Holster would come up with. At least they all cared.

His phone buzzed again and he picked it up, frowning at lack of obvious new message in the chat until he realized it was a text direct from Dex. An address in Maine, nothing else.

Nurse: ???

Dex: You can’t write because your place is too empty and quiet. I have a guest room. I can guarantee it won’t be too quiet here. Obvious solution.

Nurse: Weren’t you living in Boston tho???

Dex: Long story, tl;dr now I live in Maine again.

Dex: Are you coming or not?

Nurse: Do you mean it?

He regretted that last text as soon as he sent it. After all these years, he knew full well Dex didn’t make offers like this unless he meant them. But he did also remember the last time they’d tried living in the same place. Dex’s response made it clear he knew exactly where Nursey’s thoughts had gone.

Dex: It’s not like we’d be living in the same room, and I’m definitely not putting my life on hold to host you or whatever. You can just come for the weekend and see if it helps.

Nurse: Okay.

Nursey sat on the couch staring at Dex’s final thumbs up emoji for a while, wondering what just happened.

~*~*~

(Further things I know about this fic: Dex quit his soulless corporate IT job when he inherited the house. He ends up with a bunch of random odd jobs around town: handyman on call through his uncles’ repair shop, bartender at the bar now owned by a high school friend, unofficial after-school tutor for half the neighborhood kids in his kitchen/dining room. The room Nursey is using was the guest room and then more permanent bedroom of Dex’s great-aunt’s Boston marriage partner after her health declined, and is full of her garden journals, giving him a lot of feelings about really noticing the passage of time and seasons. Nursey stays a lot longer than a weekend, and the suggested title line comes into play when he looks around and realizes that Dex doing very concrete and practical things for the people in his life is how he shows he cares.)

#prompt fills #scenes from hypothetical fics #nurseydex #omgcp #check please #maybe I'll dig out the snippets I did write of the longer version and throw them up here in a wip amnesty post #you know those fics you end up not writing because you love them too much? #anyway I intended to write and post this on thursday for the throwback nostalgia #but I ended up going to the ballet with my mother that evening #rhys's stuff