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#i really can't bear to say goodbye
weirdrandomtina · 5 months
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So, I experienced some deju vu during this scene in Trolls Band Together:
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John Dory grabs his backpack, says he's leaving (I'm done, YOLO, etc.), and then the last thing he says is "Goodbye Forever!", followed by Branch's distraught face, and the next thing Branch knows, all his brothers have left him and he never sees them again.
I was trying to figure out why that little snippet stuck with me, then it hit me:
Trolls Holiday in Harmony, when Branch is trying to figure out a gift for Poppy. He's worried about doing the wrong thing, disappointing her or freaking her out, and says "I CAN'T let that happen". He illustrates his point with Poppy packing a suitcase, and what does she say right before she runs off?
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Really brings his abandonment issues into the light😢
I've seen a few comments of people being annoyed when Branch said to Poppy "aren't you going to leave me anyway", but they clearly don't understand how trauma affects people's mental and emotional state.
He knows Poppy loves him and doesn't actually believe she'd leave, but after a lifetime of being alone, even though he's happy and loved now, there's still that subconscious fear that he'll end up alone again. Poppy means everything to him, and he can't bear the thought of losing her too, especially as a result of something he's done (his grandma died to save him, and he believed his brothers leaving was his fault because he 'ruined everything' at the concert).
Sometimes this results in Branch trying to push Poppy away, which seems conflicting, yes, but again: trauma messes with your mind. He was already heartbroken and angry at his brothers, so he wasn't thinking clearly and blurted out his hidden main fear.
And when he says "everyone else [leaves me]" I hear "everyone in my life has left me so I must deserve to be alone, so you might as well leave me too."
And that's probably why Branch was so hesitant to be open with Poppy - 1. I might scare her away, and 2. why bother expressing my feelings to someone when I'll likely just lose them anyway. Plus he's still getting used to having someone to confide to in his life. Keeping emotions bottled up for years is a hard habit to get out of.
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daytaker · 4 months
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The Gang React to You Falling Asleep on Them
Lucifer
*deep sigh that speaks volumes to how difficult it is for this man to get any sleep, and here you are, conked out on his shoulder...*
If you don't wake up within a few minutes, he'll have no choice but to move. He is not the sort to be so sentimental that he can't bear the thought of disturbing your precious sleeping face. Of course, he won't be an asshole about it; he'll be careful and try not to wake you up. He might even drape his jacket over you for your nap.
But only if he doesn't need it.
Mammon
"Hey, my arm's gettin' a little stiff, can I just-- ...ah."
Oh. Ah. Alright. Cool. This is happening. Hmm. Damn. Not super comfortable, and it's kinda inconvenient to be trapped here, but, pshh, what's he supposed to do, wake up a sleeping human? He's heard that can lead to...cardiac arrest, or something. He ain't gonna murder you just to move a little sooner.
You did not just start snuggling him in your sleep. Did Mammon score today or did he score today? Too bad his arm's starting to fall asleep, but, well, nothin' in life is free.
Leviathan
"What...? WHAAAAAAT?" (But only in his brain. He doesn't want to wake you up. Mammon says that can lead to cardiac arrest in humans.)
He's pretty sure he's the one who's going to keel over from heart problems at this rate. He hadn't even realized you were getting sleepy. Are you bored watching him tackle this single-player old school RPG? Did you hate it all this time and you never even mentioned it?! Why is your face so close?! Do you not have any idea the kind of mental torture you're putting him through right now?!
Deep breaths, Levi. Deep breaths. This happens in anime all the time. It's...usually a good thing! It means that the main character and their love interest are tripping all the right flags, and... and how long is this scene going to last? Those scenes almost always end with the two still on the couch, then they skip to the next day or something. How long is he going to have to just sit here... suffering...?
After about ten minutes, he's reached his limit and he gently shakes you awake. He is so embarrassed that he insists you go to bed now, and he will not take no for an answer. Good night. Goodbye. *door slams*
AAAAHHHHHHHHH.
Satan
"Hm? Have you been getting enough sleep...?"
Satan would be very pleased with the situation, though probably less intensely excited than Mammon. He'll make whatever small adjustment is necessary for his comfort, then settle in and read for as long as it takes you to wake up. He feels very warm and fuzzy. It's nice. Hopefully you do this more often. But he should really ask you about your sleep schedule. Levi must be forcing you to stay awake too often.
Asmodeus
"Aww, aren't you adorable?"
This is precious. He needs to document it. As soon as he realizes what's happening, he'll carefully pull out his D.D.D., making sure not to wake you up, and start snapping pics. A few of you, a few dozen selfies with you, a few with him pretending to be asleep too, and then a perfect shot of him kissing your forehead. Grammable as fuck.
Er... is that drool he can see in one of those photos? ...You're going to have to wake up. You can't just drool on his brand-name jacket.
Beelzebub
"Oh."
He's used to people falling asleep on him, so this doesn't really throw him for much of a loop. However, he's a bit more careful of waking you up. He knows that if he wakes Belphie, he'll just fall back asleep within a few seconds, but you're not quite so adaptable. So he'll do his best to stay quiet and not move much.
But no matter how hard he tries, he's never going to be able to turn off his stomach. You'll probably wake up with a start as his stomach roars at you about twenty inches from your face.
Belphegor
"...zzzz..."
Who are we kidding, we all know he was asleep first. Probably, he's the reason you fell asleep so easily. He's soft and warm, perfect for drifting off to dreamland...
Diavolo
"Very bold! You really are astonishingly brave."
It's not every day someone has the stones to fall asleep in his presence, let alone fall asleep and use him as some sort of glorified pillow. What a nice change of pace.
He'll continue doing whatever it is he was doing before, but he is a busy demon, running the Devildom and all. He'll slowly and carefully extricate himself when it's time to move, then have Barbatos bring you a blanket and prepare some tea for when you wake up.
Barbatos
"Humans are awfully needy creatures, aren't they."
He can't help but chuckle. You just pass out during the middle of the day? Then again, it's possible you're probably not entirely well. He'll have to disturb the young master to ask what sort of accommodations to make for you. Of course, he's sure Diavolo won't mind. But it's irresponsible to let yourself drift off like this in the castle of the king of the demons, isn't it? This isn't a resort.
Sleep well, human.
Solomon
"You're just looking cute on purpose now, aren't you?"
Oh well! Looks like he's stuck here for now. Too bad. He'll smile, put an arm around you, kick his feet up, and settle in for the long haul. Hopefully you're able to get a good, solid nap in.
Most likely, you both will. He'll pass out too within ten minutes, give or take.
Simeon
"Oh- shh. There, there."
Well, if you aren't adorable... You must be so tired. He's glad you feel so at ease with him that you let yourself fall asleep, and you certainly look cute, but he's also a little concerned that you're this tired. He'll patiently wait for you to wake up. Then he'll make you some tea and gently remind you to take better care of your health.
Luke
"Eh...?! Hey! ...WAKE UP!"
How tired are you?! You need to get better sleep! Sheesh, you need to be more careful too. You almost crushed him.
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cornchrunchie · 7 months
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After rewatching the Final Fifteen over and over again, I don't think Crowley wanted to kiss Aziraphale.
Look. I know we’ve all read a lot of different readings of ✨the kiss✨ and why it happened the way it did. It’s just that none of the posts I’ve seen so far captured exactly the feeling I was reading into the scene, so I thought I might as well share my interpretation. Because I don’t think Crowley wanted to kiss Aziraphale, actually. I mean of course he wanted to, but– let me explain.
I brought gifs and a little more heartbreak :)
First of all, I do agree with most of the interpretations going around. Crowley wanting to change Aziraphale's mind? Totally plausible. Wanting to show him what he’s losing? Probably. Taking the last chance he might get to finally kiss him? Yes, please!
What I mean when I say I don’t believe Crowley wanted to kiss Aziraphale are essentially two things, one of them being that Crowley didn’t plan on kissing him. He planned on leaving.
We know this because it’s exactly what he does.
The moment I come back to over and over again is when Crowley puts on his sunglasses and heads for the door.
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Look how close they are to each other. Usually, you would expect the kiss to happen in a moment like this. All it would take Crowley is to lean forward. If he wanted to kiss Aziraphale and change his mind, he would do it right there. But he doesn’t. He nods in a way that screams: Right. This is a losing game.
Aziraphale had just told him that nothing lasted forever (so why should he stay) and he already put back his wall of defense (the sunglasses). Of course, we can't tell for sure but everything in his appearance tells us that for him, the moment between them is gone. The only chance he had decided to take had slipped through his fingers. It is time to leave. So he does.
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Crowley does not stop until Aziraphale cries out his name and wants him to come back. He is not held back by his own desire but by his incapability to resist Aziraphale’s cry for help. Not that these things can’t be connected – but look at his body language, look how reluctant it seems, annoyed almost.
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It looks like he really doesn't want to stay. At the same time, he doesn’t want to hurt Aziraphale. He wants him to know that he cares. It’s not easy for him either. So he stays. Listens to what Aziraphale has to say.
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But it hurts even more. Crowley doesn't even bear to look at him. Aziraphale just doesn’t understand him, doesn’t understand the way Heaven works, even after all these years. At least, that’s what Crowley thinks. Everything that made the air around them vibrate, every nightingale that ever sang, is now dead silent. Crowley says so himself.
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This is not him pathing the way for a kiss. This is him saying goodbye.
And then he says: “You idiot. We could have been –“
Maybe he doesn’t quite know what exactly he wants to say or maybe he does but he doesn’t know how.
“– us.”
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His voice is trembling. He lets the words linger in the room between them. Note how he is already speaking in the past tense. We could have been. But we’re not.
However, Crowley admits that the possibility of them being an Us was there, hence the possibility of everything that being an Us means to him. It drips from his toungue, every moment and every feeling he connects to the sense of being an Us. You have to remember the feeling to voice it, even when you do it to say goodbye.
And I think – we’re getting to the essence of this post – I think what happens is that Crowley gets overwhelmed by his own words, or rather: by grabbing his feelings and putting them into words, by the implication of them as an Us and everything he imagined it would have been for them. And what it means to lose it.
And I don’t think he consciously decides to kiss Aziraphale. I don’t think he wanted to kiss him in the sense that he didn’t want to take this step and actually do it. He had already lost.
(We could have been us but we’re not.)
They are still too far away from each other.
(We’re not. But we could have been.)
Eventually, Aziraphale averts his gaze, and turns his head to the side.
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And this! This is the moment Crowley steps forward! Let me emphasize it once again because I do believe it’s crucial to Crowley's change of heart.
Aziraphale looks away. And Crowley snaps.
He snaps like a rubber band you pull at for too long, like the clip of a ballpoint pen cap you push too hard upside. It’s not a conscious decision. It’s a reflex. Like closing an app on your phone and opening it again directly after. Like someone calling your name and you turn your head in the direction of the voice. You don’t think about it. It just happens.
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And I think Aziraphale looking away was the last straw that held the rubber band in place. The last thing that kept Crowley from falling once again. I genuinely don’t believe he would have kissed Aziraphale if the latter had continued to look at him. Too scary, right? Too real. Too close.
So this is the second thing I mean when I say that Crowley didn’t want to kiss Aziraphale. Of course, he wanted to but he didn’t make a deliberate decision. He just … gave in.
And when he pulls away, he knows that everything between them has changed. He waits for Aziraphale’s reaction, everything about him is tense.
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And if he dared to hope for anything at all, it surely wasn’t this.
Forgiveness.
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"I forgive you."
I forgive you for giving in.
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Don't bother.
So Crowley does what he wanted to do in the first place – and leaves.
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He didn’t plan on kissing Aziraphale. He wanted to leave, maybe even to prevent this from happening. And when it happened, I don’t think it’s because of ulterior motives like changing Aziraphale’s mind or grabbing the opportunity as it presented itself to him.
I’m not saying these motives aren’t there – in fact, I pretty much believe so! I'm just saying that maybe he didn’t think about them when kissing Aziraphale and that he didn’t decide to kiss him because of that.
Maybe this is more than obvious to everyone else already and I'm stupidly rambling to myself. Also, I'm truly sorry if I overlooked another analysis of this.
I just don’t think there was time in Crowley’s head to reflect on any of his feelings.
I think he was just not holding back anymore.
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rainbowhao · 2 months
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fratboy beomgyu
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fratboy beomgyu who is all too curious about the mysterious person nextdoor and makes it his mission to become your friend
fratboy beomgyu who happily meets you in the elevator one afternoon and can't help but strike up a conversation as if you're already acquainted
"do you come here often?"
"i live here?"
fratboy beomgyu who doesn't even notice the odd looks you're giving him on the ride up, just keeps chirping away til you get to the third floor
fratboy beomgyu who can't take a hint when you practically slam the door in his face before he can say goodbye—who just shrugs and digs around in his pocket for the dorm key
fratboy beomgyu who loves to say good morning or ask about your day whenever he gets the chance, even if he's tired or running late
"oh. hello," he greets. his long hair is disheveled as he steps out into the hallway wearing crinkled sweats and a sweatshirt. "are you headed to class too?"
you nod. it appears he's overslept though doesn't appear to be in any rush.
"it's cold out there. don't you have a coat?" he frowns. "here. have mine."
fratboy beomgyu who shoves his jacket into your arms before you can decline and runs away with manic laughter spilling out his lips
fratboy beomgyu who goes to parties just to goof off with his friends or get high and play records on his portable turntable
fratboy beomgyu who comes home late one night and can't get the door unlocked so he tiredly knocks thinking someone will answer and let him in
fratboy beomgyu who stares at you with wide eyes and smeared eyeshadow when you poke your head out to see what the noise is and make direct eye contact
fratboy beomgyu who happily allows you to open the door for him and somehow convinces you to help him inside because he can't walk
fratboy beomgyu who nearly blacks out and suddenly finds himself on the bed and head resting on your lap while you look down at him
"please get off me."
"but you look so pretty like this."
fratboy beomgyu who thinks you got the wrong idea about him and tell you so, hoping you won't misunderstand the type of person he is
"i'm also in a small music club. i play the guitar....oh you've heard me? heh. sorry."
fratboy beomgyu who is admittingly a little embarrassed to be acting so desperate for your attention and wonders whether you even like him at all but still doesn't give up
fratboy beomgyu who bakes you sugar cookies for valentine's day and leaves them at your doorstep with a note and drawing of a teddy bear
fratboy beomgyu who nervously paces around his dorm room while he waits for you to get back from class in approximately 10 minutes
fratboy beomgyu who is startled by the sound of knocking and met with your face and that unreadable expression that drives him crazy
"if you don't like it or something i can—"
"i like them a lot."
fratboy beomgyu who is ecstatic when you sit on the floor together and try his cookies (which are obviously delicious) while he plays you his favorite albums
fratboy beomgyu who has finally broken through your cold exterior and become your friend—who really won't leave you alone now that he knows you're at least a little fond of him
fratboy beomgyu who coerces you into sleepovers and goes as far as setting up a cot next to your bed (once you finally let him inside your dorm room, that is) so that you can talk about random shit for hours
fratboy beomgyu who is secretly over the moon when you beg him to go to sleep and even crawl down onto the floor to just cover his mouth
fratboy beomgyu whose heart beats quickly when he realizes how close you are and just how intimate a dark night can be—who cups your hand with his own and slowly pulls your fingers away from his mouth
"please don't go."
you're silent for a while.
"can you stay down here? i'll be good."
fratboy beomgyu who lifts the blankets and allows you to hesitantly settle in beside him—who doesn't dare make another sound in fear of scaring you off
fratboy beomgyu who is coaxed to sleep by your body's warmth, shoulders touching and limbs eventually entangling til your forms meld into one
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Note
hello! I was wondering if you could write a Mattheo x sweet! Slytherin reader where the other Slytherins are picking on her because they don't believe she's a Slytherin. And maybe Mattheo saves her and tells her that he likes her.
Mattheo's Girl
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Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x Sweet!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Swearing, minor bullying, and my shitty writing.
A/n: Sorry for the really long wait. School year started three weeks ago and things have been hectic. I'll try to update and write as much as I can but if I don't update in a long time please don't think I'm ignoring your requests! I'll get to them as soon as I can.
-
Y/n, was the sweetest girl in Hogwarts. Many found it hard to believe she was in Slytherin.
She'd never say no to anyone, she'd always offer to help, and there wasn't a single mean bone in her body.
She was walking to class, a little hop in her step as always, when she was that a few of her fellow Slytherins were making fun of Neville. Poor Neville, she thought.
They tripped him causing all of his books to scatter on the floor while they walked away laughing.
Y/n immediately went over and helped him pick his books up.
"Sorry about them," She sighed as she helped him pick his books up.
"I'm used to it," He said which made the girl's heart ache for the boy.
"You shouldn't be. Boys like them are the reason Slytherin have such a bad name," Y/n said as they both stood up. She handed him his books.
"Atleast Slytherin has you to show that not all Slytherins are evil," Neville said smiling at her kindly.
She returned it with a bright and kind smile before saying goodbye to Neville before he walked off.
The Slytherin boys that tripped Neville didn't go far and watched the whole exchange. Giving her nasty and disgusted looks.
When Neville left they walked up to her, "You shouldn't help a pathetic excuse of a wizard like him."
Y/n turned around and faced the towering boys, "You really shouldn't bully people, it's not nice," She replied.
The boys laughed, "You're also a fucking pathetic excuse of a witch. You don't belong in Slytherin."
"I'm sorry that you think that," Y/n said, "I have to get to class. Good day to you."
She turned on her heels and walked as fast as she could, completely ignoring the calls from the boys.
Mattheo glared at the boys who were making rude remarks about Y/n as she walked away. His jaw clenched, how could anyone ever want to heart an angel like her?
-
In the common room, Mattheo and the rest of the boys in his friend group sat comfortably on the sofas. Pansy and Y/n were at the table.
Pansy was struggling in Astronomy so Y/n offered to help her.
"This stuff doesn't make sense," Pansy said sighing as she placed her head in her hands, "I'm fucking over it."
"No need to swear," Y/n said, "You just have to simplify it for yourself. Try to remember the constellations with riddles that you make up for yourself. Example, my very easy method just speeds up nothing, My is Mercury, Very is Venus, Easy is Earth and then you should know the rest."
Pansy nodded and went quiet for a moment, thinking. "Oh! I got one. Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Major is Big so Great Bear and Minor is small so Little Bear."
Y/n smiled brightly, "That's one of the easiest ones but yes! You got it."
"Thank you, N/n. I don't know what I'd do without you," Pansy smiled as she leaned over and hugged Y/n.
"You're welcome, Pans. We can continue tomorrow night. I think we both need a rest," Y/n said. They packed Pansy's stuff and Pansy went to sit with the boys while Y/n took the books over to the bookshelves that were in the common room.
The boys from earlier came up behind her, "Studying hard to make up for you being a pathetic Slytherin?" One said.
"You can't cancel out the fact that you're pathetic by getting good grades you know," The other one said.
"Trying to get good grades is not an excuse to 'make up' or as you boys say to 'cancel out' anything. I'm simply determined to succeed in life. If you boys are struggling with anything. I could always tutor you," She said and they burst out laughing.
Their laughter caught his eye. His eyes immediately darkened and his demeanor changed.
"Oh I don't like that look," Enzo said as he saw the look on Mattheo's face.
Enzo turned and saw Y/n with the boys, "Oh, I see."
"They've been bothering her. Calling her names behind her back and telling her she's pathetic when she helped Neville the other day," Pansy said, "She told me about it and said it doesn't bother her, but I can hear her cry at night."
"This has to stop," Theo said.
"It will," Mattheo said as he stood up and walked over to them.
"You don't deserve to be in Slytherin you good for nothing little bi-" The one started before he was grabbed by the collar and slammed against the wall.
"You say one more thing to her, or come near her ever again, I will fuck you up," Mattheo spat in his face.
"Mattheo, stop," Y/n said trying to pull him off. Tears were threatening to fall. Things were getting too overwhelming.
"Oh yeah? Is that it?" The boy mocked, "You're not gonna kill me? Not a daddy's boy after all."
Mattheo's fist came flying into the boy's jaw. Soon enough the other boy's joined in, resulting in Theo, Enzo, Blaise and Draco to join in.
The tears ran down Y/n's cheeks as she fled the scene. Pansy trying to follow her but she lost her.
-
Y/n walked back to the common room later that night. She spent her time in the Room of Requirement, crying and trying to calm herself down.
It worked, but one tiny thing might set her off. Like the fact that Mattheo has been waiting for her the whole night long in the common room.
She bit her tongue, trying not to cry, "Where have you been?" Mattheo asked as soon as he saw her. He stood up and walked over to her, "Are you alright?"
Y/n looked at him and saw the bruises on his face along with the spots of blood.
"I'm fine, come on, let's go clean you up," She said as she pulled him to the nearest bathroom which is the bathroom in her and Pansy's shared dorm.
She made him sit on the edge of the bath as she took out a rag and put it under the running tap.
"Why did you run away?" Mattheo asked as she was cleaning his face.
"Everything got too much to handle," She replied, "You didn't have to do that. I can handle them."
"I can't," Mattheo said.
Y/n halted her movements and looked at him. He looked up and made eye contact, "What do you mean?"
"I can't handle them hurting you. I can't handle you crying yourself to sleep at night over them hurting you," He said.
She sighed, "Pansy?" Mattheo nodded.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.
"I didn't want to bother you," She said.
"You never bother me," He replied as he stood up. He looked down at her, their faces mere inches apart.
Mattheo leaned down and Y/n stood on her toes just before their lips met. Her arms wrapped around his neck and he placed his hands on her hips.
They pulled apart after a few moments, lips still brushing against each other.
"I will never let anyone hurt you again. As long as you're mine, even after you're not, which by the way will never happen, no one will ever hurt you," He said.
She smiled sweetly up at him, "Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?"
Mattheo smiled, "Yes, it is," He said.
"Well, then I accept," She said.
Mattheo's smile only widened before he placed his lips on hers again.
He'll keep his promise.
No one, will hurt her ever again.
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hisui-dreamer · 2 months
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Hihi Rinna! Saw the cool event and I would like to request a bouquet ⁠\⁠(⁠・⁠◡⁠・⁠)⁠/ daffodils, rhododendrons and a few cherry blossoms, please send it to Lilia, Jamil and Jade!
everlasting mementos
Characters: Lilia, Jamil and Jade
Synopsis: you've left twisted wonderland, leaving behind a simple bouquet of flowers for him as a parting gift
Tags: heavy angst (disco wants suffering y'all), no happy endings, bad vibes all around, farewells
Word count: 976
Notes: hooboy this one was depressing ヘ⁠(⁠。⁠□⁠°⁠)⁠ヘ hope you enjoy the pain!!
Masterlist
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flowers of choice:
daffodils: please don't forget me
rhododendrons: red ones symbolise tremendous grief
cherry blossoms: scattering, fleeting moments
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Lilia casts a spell on your flowers to make them everlasting, keeping them by his bedside table his gaze is always drawn to it every time he walks into his room, and he’s reminded of all the memories you’ve shared together
he’s become used to saying farewells, having gone through the pain of losing his dearest friends and countless comrades in the war
he’s long learned that life will always move on, and whether or not you move along with it isn't a choice you get to choose
tries to act as normal, but everyone can tell he’s not energetic as usual
silver and malleus offer to spend more time with him so he won’t feel too lonely, and sebek even watches his mouth to not accidentally upset him
he’s incredibly grateful to everyone for being so considerate, but there’s no stopping the dull ache in his heart
every time he’s in the kitchen, he hears your panicking voice echoing in his ears, scolding him for another misdemeanour
or your squeals of surprise when he pops down from the ceiling to give you a kiss
you've really left a mark on this old fae...
Lilia tenderly caressed the flowers, tears welled in his eyes, tracing silent paths down his cheeks. He knew his time with you was limited, that you would always go back to your world and never return. He knew that nothing would last forever, but he just hoped he could have spent a little more time without you.
"How foolish am I...," he murmured softly, his voice tinged with sorrow. "To dare to hope for a different ending. One without goodbyes."
Amidst the flickering candlelight, he found himself enveloped in memories of your presence. "The world feels so much dimmer without you," he confessed, his words laden with longing and regret.
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Jamil wanted to throw out the flowers but he couldn't bear parting with the last thing you left behind for him
he ends up turning them into pressed flowers, making a tiny pendant with them so he can keep you close always
Jamil, like he's done most of his life, decides to bottle up his feelings and go about his day as usual
but everyone in scarabia can tell he's snappier and a lot more tense than usual
even kalim, who's been trying his best not to upset or trouble jamil
on late nights, when he's all alone with his thoughts, he pulls up your old voice recordings, unable to fight the urge to hear your voice
he replays them tirelessly until every sentence is etched into his memory
the comfort they once provided now only serves to amplify his frustration, a mere reminder of your absence
he had resigned himself to a life in the shadows, but then you came into his life and for the first time in forever he let himself hope for a brighter future but now...
he wants to be mad at you for giving him this false hope, but he can't even stand the thought of being mad at you, he's just mad that he let himself hope again
still, he doesn't regret a single second he spent with you
The sound of your voice from the recording dwindled into the hushed night, and with it, the floodgates of his emotions burst open, and he collapsed onto the floor, tears streaming down his face.
"It's not enough," he whispered between sobs, clutching the device tightly in his trembling hands. "Just hearing your voice... it's not enough."
He yearned to see your smile, to feel your warmth beside him once again. "You gave me so much hope," he choked out, his voice breaking with emotion. "That maybe, just maybe, we could have been happy."
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Jade keeps the bouquet of flowers you gave him, propagating them so they'll always thrive by his side, making sure to care for them so he'll always have the last gift you give him
each time he tends to them, he talks to them as if they're you, telling them about his day, what shenanigans floyd has gotten into, how well his mushrooms have been growing...
he never leaves without wishing for your happiness, because that thought eases the ache in his heart slightly
on the outside, he acts unaffected and you really wouldn't be able to tell he's upset at all
but floyd and azul can tell, it's clear as day to them just how devastated he is
azul lets him have more free time, cutting his shifts shorter so he can go on hikes or take care of his terrariums, any activities to cheer him up
but even those activities fail to lighten his mood, because he's constantly reminded of his memories with you
him taking care of your wound after you'd tripped and injured your knee, you excited to show him the new mushroom dish you've been working on, the subtle stares and smiles the two of you exchanged at school...
there are traces of you littering every corner of his heart...
As Jade passed by a familiar hiking spot, the very place where countless moments were shared between the two of you, bittersweet memories flooded his mind. He sank to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks as he struggled to catch his breath.
How was it possible that you were only in his life for a short period, yet your absence felt unbearable? How had you managed to leave such a profound impact on him, with every little thing now serving as a painful reminder of your absence?
"I just... wish to see you again..." he whispered to the empty trail, his voice choked with sorrow. "What can I do... to make this feeling go away?"
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neonovember · 11 months
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hiiii
could you write carmy x reader where she’s a high school friend and carmy always had a crush on her (but he thought she had a crush on mikey) ???? like maybe richie brings her up, and that she’s still in town and SINGLE and carmy gets red like a tomato and ??? richie makes her visit the beef and candy almost has a heart attack?? idk give me some in love carmen !!
pretty pleaseee and thank u
so I got this request and I immediately thought of swim by chase atlantic, and specifically the line that goes;
“I’ve been drowning for a minute, your body keeps pulling me in” 
And holy shit if that isn’t Carmen in his denial-in-love with a long time friend era, I don't know what is. Carmen tries too hard to forget you, but you've marked permanently, you've ruined him for anyone else so can you blame him for waiting for you all this time?
Seriously though this request was so good! I got a bit carried away and turned into a 2 part series that may or may not have drabbles added to the universe…I really hope this isn't just a load of word vomit you don't want to read lmao. I just love their dynamic so much, and also FRIDAY DINNERS AT THE BEEF IS CANON OKAY.
Golden Boy
part one of 2
warnings: miscommunication (i know i'm sorry), friends to lovers, carmen and the reader have horrible communication skills and don't know how to call, angst, anxiety
a/n: part two will be up hopefully tomorrow so look out! it may or may not include a smut scene 😈
p.s, listen to swim whilst reading this you'll thank me later
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You sat hunched in the tight enclosure of the classroom desk chairs, the once loud conversations fluttering across the huddled groups of classmates and friends that stood against tables and chairs now coming to a standstill.
The air of anxious trepidation falls across the atmosphere of the damp classroom, the windows that had been opened to let the air in felt thin as you and the rest of the students you had known for half a decade waited for that familiar ring of the bell.
The bell that would solidify your last day in this classroom, in these run down halls, in the school you had first stumbled into anxious and oblivious at thirteen. 
Your heart ached at the nostalgia of it, and you can't bear to cast your gaze to your friends who had begun to sniffle, like they were holding back tears, the grandfather clock your geography teacher insisted on keeping ticked on as it always did, and whilst you had spent years burning holes through the glass, willing for it to go faster, your one dying wish is for the seconds to tick by in minutes. 
You weren’t ready, it ran straight through you, all this time leading up, from when you had first learnt your desire to pursue architecture till the moment you finished that last sentence on your final exams, you felt you would be filled with joy at the sound of your true departure into adulthood and college.
And yet, you felt like a kid again, learning how to ride a bicycle without the training wheels, trying to reach the fifth monkey bar, falling headfirst into the dirt ground of the field when you had thought you were more flexible then you truly were. 
You didn’t want to leave, you didn't want to leave this place, this place of memories and friends and people you knew and loved. And it was as if God was listening, cause the resounding echo of the school bell rang through the halls and it was as if he said ‘fuck you anyway’.
You gather the haphazard books and papers laying across your desk, you had purposefully delayed packing in order to waste as much time in this memory as possible, before adulthood would take it away and make it something of the past. You hear your friends calling your name, and you tell them to go ahead as you make your way to your teachers desk.
“Hey Mr Jefferson” You say to your teacher has begun to bid goodbye to the leaving students
Your teacher looks up at you with a tight smile, sadness washes over the wrinkles and creases of her features, her auburn hair falling in short waves at her shoulder and her olive lipstick wearing down. You have to swallow to stop the tears from dropping. Your Geography teacher, whilst not teaching Art, had been the catapult to realizing your fascination with Architecture and design. She had even helped tell your parents, who had been set on the idea of you going into Law or Medicine or anything other than creative arts. 
“You’ll do amazing, I believe it because I see how hard you try. Don’t look back at this place, leave with the door wide open and come back only when you want to design me a house” Your Teacher replies with a grin, and before you can reply shes shuffling through her drawers, before pulling out a sketchbook that has been aged and stained with use over the years.
“What’s this?” You ask, twisting the book in your hand, it was good quality, despite being old, it felt like an heirloom.
“It’s one of my sketchbooks I had during college, maybe some of my late night sketches fuelled by coffee and donuts might inspire you”
“I couldn't possible-”
“Yes you could, hell whatever you create will probably be 10 x greater than whatever is in there” Your teacher cuts you off with a chuckle, and you hug the notebook tight against your chest before hugging her goodbye.
You step into the familiar walls of your high school hallways, crowds of seniors running to find their friends and hug them for possibly the last time, test papers and report cards left trampled on the ground, it's chaos, but you love it and the sight almost pulls tears down your waterline.
You walk towards your locker, before you recognize the familiar wisps of blond curls catch your eyesight. Carmen.  You considered him one of your closest friends, bonding together over a love of game** and your equal hatred of your Period 4 Calculus teacher.
Carmen didn't have much when I came to be friends, and after he met you, it didn't really get to him anymore, he had you now, and you were more than enough. Over the years you had gotten close to every part of Carmen's life, Mickey, Richie, Sugar, they were all people you regarded as family.
But there was something unsaid between the both of you, it was like there was something beyond friendship, but the embers had just gathered and had left unignited.
He’s gathering his things from his locker, shoving them into a bag in that messy way he is, and he slams the locker with a jolt.
You're standing stationary in the middle of the hallway, classmates and other seniors running by you in confusion, your friends calling your name annoyed, but it's all muffled, it all doesn't matter because it's Carm and god your heart aches so bad. 
You see Carmen and he sees you, stopping a few meters away from you, and a moment of recognition washes over him as he gazes with those cerulean blues. There's grief in the way you look at each other, tears streaming down your cheek as you try to smile at him, realising this might be the last time you see him, forever, off to an Art school in New York, leaving him behind. You feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest and he shakes his head, his eyebrows scrunching up as he steps closer so that he’s only a whisper from you.
He brings his hand up, brushing a strand and tucking in behind your ear, eyes strained as he wipes your tears away painfully. He moves closer, so that his breath is against your neck and whispers
“Thought you told me you'd punch me in the stomach if I cried on the last day” Carmen whispers into your eyes with a grin that breaks through the tears that cause his eyes to swirl in colour's of waves.
His words make you laugh and cry at the same time, and you shake your head as you reach for his arm, and playfully hit your stomach with it. Carmen rests it against your waist, looking up to you in a pained expression, his eyes shift to the notebook grasped tight in your hands
“New sketchbook? That..doesn't look new” Carmen says, turning his head to examine the old book more closely.
“One of Mrs Jefferson’s, her sketches are..their fucking amazing” You sigh, running your hand across the folded spine of the sketch book.
“Thought teachers weren't meant to have favourites” Carmen shoots out, a playful grin on his lips
“Hmm, well they aren't supposed to tell you exactly” You banter with a giggle, you flick through the pages of the book, half drawn sketches in grey lead and ballpoint, Carmen tracing his fingers gently across the ingrained lines and shades.
“God you're something, you know that?” Carmen says, all of a sudden, and when you look up you realise he’s been staring at you the entire time.
“Bear..” You breathe out.
“I don't know how I'm going to-, I, it's all so much” You exhale, waving your arms around this place that has held so many memories, so much of your past kept in the creaks and cracks of plastered walls and lockers
“You're the only person in this goddamn place that's going to make something out of themselves, I bet my entire life on it Bug. You're going to do amazing, in that big city, you’re going to show em’' Carmen replies, grasping you against his touch tight. You look up at him, trying to memorise every dip and curve of his features, the curl of his hair that shone honey in the sun, those eyes that were always searching, and the small cut on his forehead where he fell off his skateboard that one summer evening.
“Don’t say goodbye”
“Okay” Your tongue feels like deadweight in your mouth. what if i never see you again?
“You say goodbye and it's the end. Just..don’t” I can't breathe carmy.
You can’t stop yourself from wrapping your arms around him, pressing your nose into his shirt to smell the scent of patchouli and cigarettes he always carried, you want to tell him to come with you, to pack an overnight bag and run with you forever, but the words don’t taste right when you try to speak and you see yourself letting him go, and turning away with a shaky step.
Turn back Carmen whispers, so softly that only the gods above and the wind around him can hear it
You feel an urge to turn back, it speaks to you from within, and before you can stop yourself, your neck cranes, turning your body to get one last look at your golden boy before time would take him forever. 
Time would age him into a memory forever.
Carmen feels this tension leave his shoulders at the same time his heart shatters, you will find each other again, even if it was in another universe, where you're sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, going over groceries together with the afternoon light casting its glow across you. He will find you, he will find you and he won’t let go this time. 
*
“Honestly Ma, it’s fine, I’ll get the movers to come in a little early”. You groan into the phone pressed to your ear, papers and unresolved bills are left scattered across your dining room table and you have this itch that's begun to turn chronic somewhere you can’t reach.
You take a moment to look around your apartment, now barren of furniture, and filled instead with boxes of badly organised stuff you've accumulated over the years. This place, albeit small, had been your home ever since you stepped out of the yellow cabbed taxi on your first day in New York, and whilst it wasn't pretty, you felt a pang of guilt leaving it all behind. These walls had seen you through it all, the late night study cram’s, the breakdowns, the accomplishments, the one night stands. You'd miss her, but maybe you were just a nostalgic person.
You’ve made a life in New York, but you felt misplaced, like pieces of yourselves were scattered across the states. Chicago kept a part of you, and it was only when you had gotten the chance to move back home, did it click. You missed your city. And you had cut your lease and emptied out the last of your savings without a second thought.
Now all that was left was tying up loose ends and making the trip down. It was funny, in a way. You had run to New York to pursue architecture, and it brought you back to the very same place you had left, there was a certain trepidation when you thought of Chicago, it held so much of your past, in its city streets and evergreen trees, and you don’t know if you were quite ready to face those memories again.
*
It still smelled the same. You itch your nose, sniffling against the blooming scent of cocoa and caramel from the Chicago roads, all this time, and all that you can tell is how it still smelt like maple leaves and chocolate. It was comforting, and it felt like the warm embrace of a childhood friend that had stayed sitting on the corner of your suburban street corner all this time.
“Thank you Mae, really, I got the call last minute in New York to come back here and if it weren't for you, I’d be moving back into my old bedroom at my parents” You reply, gratitude filling every word. It was true, your friend had swooped in the second you called, fixing you up with a lease and an apartment with her realtor links. She came in a clutch, and she had made you promise to never leave her again in exchange.
“Oh shush doll, of course. This is probably payment for all the times I’ve crashed at yours anyway” Mae winks, the bracelets on her wrist clinking against each other. She didn't look like a typical realtor, more like a bohemian solo-traveller with her filly skirts and auburn red hair.
“I’m not going to let a degree transform my entire wardrobe, my clothes are antiques, their heirlooms, they tell a story” 
She had told you once, one late night on the rooftop of your New York apartment, sipping cheap wine and passing a blunt between you both. You wish you had known yourself as much as she did then.
She had visited you a couple times in New York, coming up for work and spending the time at yours instead of spending thousands on an Airbnb, but it had been a while since you've seen her, and all of a sudden you remember how much you missed her laugh.
“I’ve got some time to spend before it’s all hand on deck” You reply, placing the last of your boxes onto the empty wooden floor of the living room.
“Oh yeah? Can’t believe you’re gonna design a whole building on Michigan Av’, your a fucking inspiration Bug” Mae sighs in adoration, and you giggle, the feeling of embarrassment filling you at the mention of your reason back home.
You never got used to the praise and adoration you received over the years, despite your many accolades and awards, you still felt like that hopelessly broke architect student giving up lunch to pay rent. You didn’t remember when things started to change. When did things start to change?
“You know, if you’ve got time, you should check out the Farmers Market near River North” Mae replies, whilst flicking through her phone
“The one on Division Street?” You reply, you had a faint memory of the long strip of stalls filled with fresh produce, food and the rest of the little trinkets that were sold since you were born on the pleated table cloth of sheltered booths.
“That’s the one, this guy named Samson? Makes the best fucking bearclaw in the entire United States. Tell him you're a friend of mine and he'll hook you up…you know since you can't afford it” Mae replies playfully, and you roll your eyes with a laugh.
“Yeah yeah, you hook up with him or something?” You poke back, Mae had the tendency to know everyone in Chicago, from the mailman to the old woman you’d see feeding the bids on a park bench.
“Yeah, actually I did. Not like you could relate, how long has it been, hm?” Mae replies, stepping forward to whisper down at your pants.
“I’m so sorry she hasn't been taking care of you. What are you, mummify her?” Mae looks up from her crouched position with a raised eyebrow.
“Ugh, you know I've been too busy to think about that. She’s gonna have to be patient” You reply, you don’t want to think about how long it has actually been, since you've had any type of release. But the tension has begun to weigh on your shoulders as time went on and you fear it might become something you can’t ignore.
You begin to move some boxes into your bedroom, thanks to your planning your large furniture such as your bed and coach, had been moved into the apartment before the rest of the things had got here, so at least you wouldn't be sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Changing into a pair of dark jeans and a short sleeve top, you loop an embroidered handbag onto your shoulder.
“So, you coming?” You call to Mae, who’s begun to fill your fridge with the groceries she's swung by with.
“Sure would Bug, but got a call to come in. I’ll come by again later this evening though?” Mae replies, with a grunt as she lifts the 2 litre bottle of milk onto one of the drive shelves.
“Yes please, I’m dying for a glass of wine”
“And a blunt” Mae replies, snickering at the way you roll your eyes at her.
Mae offers to drop you off, but you wave her off, telling her you wanted to see a little more of your hometown. You needed some fresh air that wasn't the coffee and smoke scent of the New York streets.
The walk to the Farmers market was a short one, but you felt like you were wading through a current. By the way the memories of your past began to resurface as you passed the streets and shops. Every corner holds a part of you, and you have to rush by your old school to stop the pang of pain that surprises you. You weren't an emotional person, but god it was almost as if you were hanging by a thread the second you touched down on Chicago. 
What was causing this? You felt like you were holding your breath as you stepped through the fallen autumn leaves marking the sidewalk, the gentle sun on your back, what were you waiting for?
You tear yourself from your thoughts momentarily when you catch the looming buildings that had been built on ions ago, the infrastructure of Chicago still enamoured you, in a way that couldn't be beaten by even New York’s impossible skyscrapers.
There was a charm to it, each of the buildings felt like you were stepping into a different decade, they had been the stepping stones to a lot of the infrastructure and architecture that spread into other cities. You felt like you were at the start of it all every time your eyes trailed across the facade and arcades of the century old stone buildings.
Without realising, you had finally made it to the Farmers Market, the constant stream of people coming in and out with boxes of produce or hauling wooden antiques with very audible grunts. You can’t stop the smile stretching your face as you step through the embroidered banner at the front of the street.
Despite the many different stalls and food around you, you don't feel overstimulated. This was your home, you felt like you belonged, like a name scratched into wet cement, remaining ingrained for years no matter the seasons that came. 
You go over the haphazard list of things you wanted to look for in your mind, but you're caught off guard by a stall that seemed to be huddled by patrons. You step towards it, and as people move aside you see the blooming flowers and carefully wrapped banquets in woven wooden baskets to the side of the stall. A short woman with light brown curls is standing at the front, taking down orders with a grin, whilst a rather tall man behind her makes quick work to wrap delicate orders into soft brown parchment paper tied with string. 
And all of a sudden the need to buy pink tulips becomes your first priority. The woman at the front looks familiar, but you can't quite put your finger on where you've seen her, but as you walk up to the front her face morphs into familiar as she looks up at you in surprise.
“As I live and breathe” She says your name with a screech and it's her voice that pulls her name to your mouth. Adeline, a close friend from senior year who’d taught you how to crochet and pick a lock.
“Bug? How've you been? What brings you back to town?” Ade replies after telling the man behind her your order without you even saying a thing. 
“Tulips, pink ones right?” Ade grins, and you have to let out a chuckle at how you haven't changed even a little.
“Got invited to join in designing a new building on Michigan Avenue, so I'll be back for a while-”
“Michigan Avenue? Holy shit Bug! You’re making moves, knew you always were special” Adeline replies with a gushing smile and you rush to reply with the same adoration
“Are you kidding, look at this line” You motion to the increasing line of people forming at Adeline's stall.
“People love their flowers” Adeline replies with a shrug before you shake your head vehemently
“No, they love your flowers, and for good reason, look at these” You gush, pressing your face into the bundle of tulips that had been handed to you.
“They only look that good because Henry's so good at wrapping them” Adeline replies with a laugh, her eyes flicking to the brown haired man dressed in corduroy behind her. A look passes between them that tells you there was more than love between them.
“Henry huh?” You reply with a grin, and the man is quick to introduce himself, and you don’t ignore the cold press of an encrusted band on his ring finger as he shakes your hand with a soft smile.
And it's as if Adeline reads your mind and she slips her left hand in yours, looking up at you with a teary grin.
“Yes, yes I know, I should've called, and I’m so sorry-”
You press yourself against her, leaning over the stall to wrap your arms around her. You whisper words of congratulation, shutting down any words that hinted at you being mad at her.
It wasn't her fault, it should be you she's mad at, you hadn’t really made that much of an effort to keep in contact with your friends back at home, and the reality of it weighed on you heavy now, you had missed so many milestones of your loved ones, all to chase your own dreams in New York.
You felt like you were constantly playing catch up, and you couldn't lie when a strange feeling crept up at the thought of your friends moving on with life. You were so incredibly happy for Adeline, and you were even more elated when she had told you of the Wedding in April that you had to come to. 
But that didn't stop that same strange feeling of being behind everyone else, you had spent so long climbing the ladder to wear what you wear now, relationships and love weren't even a thought, you filled your nights with studying and drawing and the occasional fling, but nothing more. And now doubts had begun to creep in, had you missed out? 
Watching everyone around you get married and have kids whilst you were still drawing buildings in that same sketchbook your teacher had given you 8 years ago. You’re not looking as you walk past the many stalls of the Farmers market, and it is your thoughts again that causes you to accidentally stumble into the hard muscle of a man back. You feel yourself falling, before arm's reach out, grabbing you quickly to stop you from ending flat on your face. 
You breath out a sigh of relief, shaking a head at your clumsiness
“God, ‘m so sorry, I’ve just been in my head, I wasn’t looking where i was going-”
“Holy fuck” Your quick to spit an apologetic thanks, you haven't even looked up to see who you've dubbed into, and when the sound of surprise meets your ease you look up, only to be remain stone faced with your mouth left open.
“Richie?” You say, the shock of it is still in the air. You hadn't expected to see him in Chicago, or maybe you did and it was sooner than you thought.
“When did you get back? Holy shit, thought we wouldn't see you again” Richie replies with a smile
“Yeah uh, came down for some work for a little while. How, uh How are things” You reply with a squeak, you can’t bear to say what you're thinking and Richie nods, a look of acknowledgement in his face. Mickey’s death had shaken you, it had changed you in its own way, and you still grief him, it still hurts when Richie's face kinda falls and melts at the reminder of his best friend's death.
“After, uh, after Mickey, he had left the restaurant, you know, the Beef?” You nod in agreement, the hazy memory of the sandwich shop on the corner of Chicago's, busiest streets, you stomach rumbles at the thought of one of those sandwiches you'd down in less than a minute during your high school years.
“Yeah well, get this, he left it to Carmen. And honestly, I was hesitant at first, real hesitant, I love him, but god, he's a self centred ass coming in like he knew everything, spewing the bullshit CDC shit he learnt up in the big apple? He changed things, and you know how I feel about change, but he made it better, I can;t lie, and you better not tell him this, but the Beef actually..” Richie’s familiar rambles are muffled to your ears, the only thing you can hear is Carmen.
Everything zones out as you scrunch your eyebrows, wincing almost, at the pain and it shocks you, it shocks you how the very name of him still brings back those memories. You still hurt the same way you did the day you left him.
You must have looked out of it, as Richie shakes your shoulder, anchoring you back to the present, and you have to swallow back the bite of pain that bleeds through your chest.
“Did you hear what I said? The Beef’s holding a little family dinner tomorrow, shutting down the shop early, inviting only friends and family, it’ll be like a little reunion for you! You have to come” Richie replies, and you nod trying to seem present.
Carmen took over the Beef? He was in New York? What?
Your mind is scattered with the uproar of questions you have, the thought of Carmen, the memory of him is like a fresh wound. It un tethered and opens up a thread of thoughts and emotions you had thought you bottled up and threw deep into the ocean.
“You, you still talk to him right? Ya’ll were pretty close growing up, like fucking thieves attached to the hip if i can remember” Richie chuckles, fondly remembering the two of you.
You cough back, smiling up at him as you trying to reply coherently
“Yeah, uh sometimes you know” You lie
No. You haven't spoken to him since you left, and it feels like your tongue falls dead when you try to say his name again. You hadn't called and he hadn't picked up. Carmen told you not to say goodbye, but the truth was it had been the end of you even before you had both realised. 
You had spent years pretending like Carmen not calling you, not making an effort to see you after everything didn’t burn, but the reality of it had marked you in a way that felt eternal.
“So you're coming, yeah? You and Carmen can finally catch up” Richie replies with a smile, and look of something passes through his eyes before it leaves, and you have to smile back with a nod, like you and Carmen were still close, like you don't feel that he might turn you away or scream at you the second he saw you, like you weren't both irrevocably in love with each other.
Bear. You missed him, you are shocked by how much you do, you thought bottling up your memories and emotions about him and stuffing them so far back into your mind you forgot would actually change anything. There had always been this lingering thought, at the recesses of your mind, the last thing you imagined before you fell asleep, the feeling that filled you the second you came back to Chicago, it was all Carmen, it was all your golden boy.
And now you would have to see him, in less than a day you would  be in the same room as Carmen Berzatto, you don't want to say it, you don't want to speak it into acknowledgement but deep down, you wanted to see him again. 
Beyond it all, you both were bonded in friendship, sharing something you didn't even have with Adeline or Mae, and you had felt like a part of yourself was missing each day that went passed without hearing from him. Had he forgotten you? Had it been as hard for him to go on with life? He had been in New York for christ sake, he didn't even think to visit you, that thought alone made you want to run back home and never come out.
You couldn't bare the possibility of exposing yourself to such heartache, to the chance of being rejected by the very person who you forever longed for. You were always searching for him, looking through crowds to see the familiar curl of his brown hair, or the scent he carried, ears always leaning in, trying to see if it would catch his syrupy baritone voice.
The two of you were forever connected, like the roots of trees spanning miles under the Earth. The kind of companionship that transcended time and space, and god did you want to feel the sharp edge of his jaw between your hands.
You couldn't stop it now, Richie had opened something you kept locked and sunk for a reason, and now it felt like you would break if you didn't see Carmen. Even if it would break you, even if it was the one thing in this world that would destroy you, 
You had to see your golden boy.
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disneyprincemuke · 5 months
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midnights, 9 * mv1
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max finds out you'd gone to the club with alexandra, making him wonder if it’s really over when pictures of you and another man leak
pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader
warnings:
notes: nah when i finish this, i WILL be milking the whole series because this is my only breakup outlet left like damN
(series masterlist)
(prev) // (next)
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max could not stop thinking of you all day - all week, in fact. ever since a rumour had started going around that he's moving on with another woman, he could only have imagined what it's like for you to see that.
it sucks because he'd just been doing nelson piquet a favour - bringing kelly into the paddocks for a race under his pass. but nothing more ever went down between them.
he could only think of how your hands go cold at the rumour and heart absolutely shattering. he admits that he thought of sending you a text that night, but cowered away at the fear of your rejection for his explanation. maybe you no longer cared about what he's doing with his life.
he knows that because you unfollowed him on instagram and every other social media platform alike. you have even taken it upon yourself to unfollow his private account, his profile riddled with pictures and memories of the two of you together that he has not had the courage to delete just yet.
the only reason that he is aware of your sudden decision to distance yourself from him after the breakup is when he was confused about the notable lack of you on his timeline. when he checked, you were just another account he is now a stranger to.
he believes it was brought about by the dating rumours. because he used to stalk you all the time.
all. the. time.
"max, mate," daniel's voice makes him lift his head, eyebrows raising as a response. daniel's lips carve into a smile before it quickly disappears without anyone else noticing. "i said do you wanna grab some drinks at the bar? charles is already there."
max hesitates. the urge to be alone in his hotel room is real; curling up in bed while he listened to his mellow playlist while he debates once more if he should reach out. but against his better judgement, he nods with a small smile on his face as he starts to follow behind the older man.
"so, how are you feeling?" daniel asks, turning to him with a polite smile as they walk. "better, hopefully?"
with a halfhearted smile, max shrugs. "a little."
"progress is still progress," daniel reassures him with a pat on his shoulder, "it will still get better from here. you know that."
max nods. but there's still a yearning for you that he can't explain or get over. while he can understand that time is needed apart from you, things are not seemingly going towards his favour, or at least the way he wants it to go.
his chances of getting back together with you are slim. he really wants to, but he cannot bear the thought you having to say goodbye to you a second time.
but if he had the chance to do it all over again with you, he’d try to change the course of time if it meant having you back in his arms.
he tries to get you off his mind by moving on to other topics of conversation. but all he can think about is how you could have been here, arm around his waist as you leaned into his body while giggling over something daniel said to you.
you should have been at parc ferme following every race finish with your arms opened wide, welcoming him in for a wide smile and a tight hug.
but you never are.
and it doesn't help that now he's at the bar, there's charles and alexandra exchanging loud conversation about an event she attended back home.
"oh yeah," alexandra laughs unknowingly as they approach, "she was wild that night! she took body tequila shots from this guy! and we'd just met him that night. it was insane."
daniel pops his head between the couple with a lazy smile on his face. "who took body shots from a random guy they met at the bar?"
alexandra whips her head around, locking eyes with max. she laughs nervously as charles puts his hand over her knee. "just my friend back home."
max looks at her knowingly, taking his seat in the opposite booth. "it's (y/n), isn't it?" he asks, looking at the menu. everyone falls silent as he scans the menu for something to drink, prompting him to look up, slightly annoyed. "else, why wouldn't you elaborate to daniel when he asked?"
"hey," charles says, exchanging a glance with alexandra next to him. he squeezes her hand and sits up, leaning towards max. "what's your problem?"
"nothing," max answers in the calmest tone he can find within himself, "it's just odd that she tried to cover it up when it's so obvious." he turns to daniel. "wasn't it?"
daniel stares at him, visibly gulping and then glancing at the couple that sits across them.
"i didn't know you were already here," alexandra explains, dropping her head low. "i would have stopped way earlier."
"why would you?" max smiles, albeit halfheartedly, then looks down at the menu again. "we've broken up, right? she can do what she wants - i'm not her problem anymore."
"right," alexandra nods, pressing her lips together and sinking into her seat. she gives daniel a small smile before taking a sip of her cocktail. "sorry."
"hey," charles says again, putting both hands on the table. "you fucked up. don't take it out on alex that you're upset (y/n) is no longer with you. weren't you the one who let her walk out?"
max looks up immediately, mouth agape as he tries to process the words that charles just spoke. it's true that max let you walk out, which is what hurt the most. and it's, in fact, unfair that he is being like this.
max just sighs. "you're right." he turns to alexandra. "i'm sorry, alex. i shouldn't have taken it out on you."
alexandra just smiles, nodding understandingly. "it's okay. breakups are hard, max. i shouldn't have been talking about it knowing you'd be here any second, anyway."
"okay," daniel finally speaks, hands held up between the three of them. "let's just have a peaceful dinner, alright? no more breakup talks - this is an enjoyable evening."
they murmur in agreement with a nod. but the tension is the air never lightens up, and neither does the churning in max's stomach which is increasingly getting harder to ignore.
there's something about the phone in max's pocket that's making him itch to check it.
so after they send their orders in, his friends immediately fall into a conversation and he fishes for his phone in his back pocket. there's only one notification.
one that told him he's justified for feeling sick.
don't react
they're just pictures
it's from victoria. he opens the message, received about 10 minutes ago when he left the paddocks with the older alpha tauri driver. he can almost imagine the pictures, even if victoria hadn't taken the liberty to curse him with the pleasure of seeing them.
so he opens instagram.
just as fate would have it, you're at the top of his timeline from some f1 gossip page that he had no idea he followed. in the first one, your face can be barely made out, crouched down as you step out of the backseat of a car with alexandra still in the car. but he recognises the dress - it's one that he got you a couple of years ago, after winning his first race with you as his girlfriend.
the sheer will you've got to be on a night out in a dress that he got you is something he has to give to you. that's absolutely one way to get back at him after the pictures of him and kelly.
something tells him it's about to get worse. and it does, because when he swipes to the next picture, it's you visibly looking intoxicated, he assumes from all the body shots you took. and his heart skips a beat in his chest as his mouth runs dry.
there it is, some guy holding the car door open for you. in the next, he's seen scooching in with you in that backseat.
"are you alright, mate?" charles' voice makes him look up as he drops his phone into his lap.
max takes a deep breath, unable to force a smile to his face. he just nods, swallowing the lump in his throat.
charles' stare on him lingers before he nods hesitantly and resumes the conversation with daniel. max's eyes shift to alexandra, now staring at her phone with parted lips.
she looks up, meeting his eyes with a worried stare.
max just shakes his head before she can say anything. he just leans back into the seat and folds his arms over his chest.
guess it's really over now between you.
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492 notes · View notes
shunsuiken · 1 year
Text
CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF OF YOU.
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pairing. kamisato ayato x fem!reader
genre. fluff + he’s so fucking in love with you (we love to see it)
synopsis. your husband notices how you seem to look away whenever he makes eye contact with you. so tonight he finally confronts you in his own way.
wc. 0.8k
an. yall i love this man so much omg i cant i was literally blushing while writing this goodbye i'll see myself out now 🚶🏻‍♀️
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“ah if only i was reborn as the mirror on your vanity," your husband sighs from behind you.
you laugh and swipe the last bits of your moisturiser on your cheeks. “why?”
“because you get all close and personal with it...” ayato trails off and stares at your figure with steady eyes. “...but not with me."
you raise your brows in confusion, and for some reason your heart skips a beat. "what ever do you mean?" you ask without even looking at him.
ayato walks towards your sitting-figure. tonight, his lavender stare is not one he looks at you with when he wants to share an intimate night with you. rather, it's one of curiosity. he wants to know why you look away every time he has his eyes trained on you. even now you do not meet eyes with him. why is that?
do you not love him as much as you used to? was there something he didn't realise he did wrong? were you bored of life as the yashiro commissioner's wife? he can't seem to think of any other reason for you to look away from him. besides, he loves your eyes! they're such a wonderful shade so he can only wonder why you turn away and limit the time he gets to stare into them.
while those thoughts flood ayato's head, your palms are sweating at how close he's become. panicked, you turn around and stand to meet his eyes at a less strained angle, using the back of your foot to nudge your chair underneath your vanity.
ayato's pout almost makes you laugh if not for how his eyes do not leave your face. you can already feel a herd of butterflies making themselves at home in your stomach at how closely he's observing your expression.
"you're doing it again."
"w- what?" you question, eyes flickering from his gaze to his vanity on the opposite side of the room.
ayato's brows crease ever so slightly, an ungloved finger rising so he can tilt your face towards his. "sweetheart, look at me please."
your cheeks heat up as your hands scramble for something to hold onto when you realise he's closed the gap between your clothed bodies. you then feel a hand planted on your waist. oh archons. "i- it's—it's going to be really difficult if you look at me like that!" your voice does nothing to defend you, high-pitched and breathy.
ayato tilts his head, as if wondering what you mean and you're not entirely sure if he's faking it or not.
you blink, moving your gaze away by an inch but your husband is quick to gently manoeuvre your jaw back so you continue to face him. your expression creases in protest. he only chuckles at your reaction, a smile finally appearing on his handsome face.
he traces circles with his thumb on your waist as an attempt to calm you down. after seeing how you've reacted to his forwardness, the yashiro commissioner is able to put two and two together. "tell me what's on your mind, dear." sigh, does he even realise your string of sanity is about to snap?
you're so out of it. you can't even bear to focus on his words when he studies your facial features like that—ooh that's not good for your heart. your bottom lip is quivering.
you are all he sees.
"n- nothing," you say in a hushed tone.
even after sharing so many lovely nights together, it seems that you still cannot handle the way he looks at you. adorable. he thinks. but he can't just leave his wife suffering all by herself like this. after all, what kind of husband would leave his wife in a state like this? hands pawing on his chest softly, lips curved in nervousness and eyes blinking as if to help you cope with his loving gaze.
"you say 'nothing' but so much is written across your face," a short giggle leaves his lips in amusement. "why don't you join me in bed, hm? i can look at you some more there."
you whine and shove your face into his shoulder. "don't mock me."
ayato takes his chance to pull you in between his arms for a warm embrace, sighing contently. "now i'm not mocking you, i'm simply saying that you are a delight to look at and as your husband, shouldn't i be looking at you the most?"
a playful scoff leaves your lips, momentarily lifting your head to meet his eyes. "oh don't say that—or your reports will come after you."
your husband groans, "darling, don't remind me. i've personally had enough looking at those useless documents." you then hear him click his tongue. "don't try changing the subject either, so join me in bed, will you?"
you sigh an exasperated 'okay, fine' before yelping as you're unceremoniously dragged on to the bed by your giggling husband.
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runningfrom2am · 8 months
Text
in this life or the next
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summary: It's the seventy-fifth annual Hunger Games, and you were just unlucky enough to get picked; but lucky enough for this Quarter Quell to feature pre-selected teams. You get paired up with District One's pride and joy, the one and only Rafe Cameron.
pairing: rafe x fem!reader
wc: 15k (oh my LORD)
tags/warnings: its the hunger games so like... yeah... violence and gore and stuff. definitely swearing, spoilers for the og Hunger Games movie I guess (but also not bc i changed it up a bit- you'll see), reader has a special talent that i won't spoil here, Rafe is lowkey a dick at the beginning, Ward being a shitty dad (what's new). also this isn't thoroughly edited bc.. its 15k words and i'm lazy.
masterlists // nav // requests
join my taglist here
a/n: hello lovelies!! oh my gosh i have been slowly chipping away at this for actual literal months, and i am so proud of how it turned out!! i’m really glad i could finally post it by my birthday!! (i’m 23 wtf??)
thank you so much if you're going to put in the time to read this, but it honestly means a lot to me that you've made it this far. reblogs and likes would be so appreciated and let me know your thoughts in the replies! i really, really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. let me know if you want a part two of what happens post games, bc i think i left it at a minor baby sized cliffhanger. anyway, i’m off to eat cake now! enjoy!
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Staring blankly out at the crowd in front of you, you attempt to process the echoing of your heartbeat in your ears.
"I'd like us to give a round of applause for our brave, brave tributes this year, and wish them the best of luck in this year's quarter quell!" Your attention is drawn to the woman next to you, the District Five escort, Opal, dressed head to toe in bright yellow. A universally happy color- what a joke.
The crowd is mostly silent and you can't bear the thought of even glancing in the direction of your parents. You turn silently as you're ushered back into the building from the stage, tripping slightly over your feet as the shock sets in. People are talking, possibly to you, but you can hardly hear a thing. You almost made it. You were almost eighteen- one more year and you would have been free.
You were granted the briefest of goodbyes to your family, but you were tempted to even turn that down. An action you regret not taking as your parents walk into the room, your mother with tears already coating her cheeks and your father trying to keep a strong resolve for you and your siblings.
"We'll see you soon, Bug. Remember we love you," He whispers into your hair as you sob into his shoulder. You know he doesn't necessarily mean in this lifetime.
Your tunnel vision settles back in as you're walked out of the room, glancing one last time over your shoulder only to see your dad's shoulders shaking from his silent cries as he turns his back to you.
You are quickly pushed onto the train taking you out of District Five, ignoring the other three tributes and your mentors as they talk. You just stare out the window with tired, red eyes and say a silent goodbye to the home you're already sure you'll never see again.
"Y/N..?" The girl next to you says, tapping you on the shoulder and making you jump.
"Hm?" You hum your acknowledgment, looking at the girl beside you. She's only a year older than you, and you went to school together for years; Maisie, you remember.
"I just wanted to make sure you hear them," Maisie whispers, gesturing to Opal as she starts to explain what the premise of the games is this year.
"So," she claps her hands together, clad in tacky yellow gloves. "I'm sure you have noticed that this year there are four of you, and you'll each be paired up with another tribute to compete. Not necessarily from your own District, but, anything is possible, I suppose. The exciting news is that there's a possibility for two winners this year! You and your teammate will be given a score throughout the games, and if your score as the final two is above ten, you will both be crowned victors!" The woman says excitedly- like it's a good thing.
"And if we don't have over ten?" The boy sitting across from you asks flatly.
"Well... the games shall continue," Opal explains vaguely, but you know what that means. You've seen it before.
"Okay, well, how do we get a good score?" The boy asks.
"I-" The escort starts, hesitance clear in her tone as she's quickly interrupted.
"You kill people," Your female mentor answers. She's leaning her elbows on the end of the table, standing with a knife in her hand, spinning it around like it's some kind of toy.
Your eyes drop from her form, staring down at the table in front of you, suddenly remembering your glass of water and quickly grabbing it when you realize your mouth has gone completely dry just from the idea of what's to come.
You arrive at the Capitol in the middle of the night and despite this fact, the crowds are still there. You didn't expect this, even though you've seen it on the beat-up television in your living room every year. It feels less real, somehow, when you're the one getting pushed through the crowd, not knowing what to do besides give awkward smiles to people yelling your name.
Your room is beautiful. You've never seen anything like this, but you can fully customize it at will with a remote, and this level of technology fascinates you. You spend hours flicking through different images that can appear on the walls, surrounding you in another world. Exhaustion and the sound of an artificial thunderstorm put you to sleep with the remote still resting in your palm.
"Up, up, up, my dear! We've got a big day ahead!" Opal's cheery voice startles you awake from your less-than-cozy spot on the floor. "There's breakfast on the table then we've got to get you down to prep, so hurry up, please." She says, and just like that she's gone, no doubt off to wake the other District Five tributes in a similar fashion.
"You're going to be meeting your teammates for the first time today so you can train together- gosh isn't that just so exciting!" Opal claps as you all stand in the elevator. There's a silence that follows as you and Maisie just nod, not excited about the whole idea. You're about to meet someone who will either be spending the last days of your life with you, or be killing you themselves, and you're not fond of either.
"This way you'll get to train together first, which I do believe to be a very generous act on behalf of the game makers." She adds, making you roll your eyes. How considerate. The most you can hope for is someone who is capable, and preferably someone who isn't in the twelve to fifteen age range, having seen that there were several drawn from different districts.
You shift on your feet as you try to adjust to the uncomfortably tight catsuit they squeezed you into, covered in what must be sapphire and diamond rhinestones, pinching your skin with every slight movement. Gold accents line the seams of the suit, extending out into something that resembles wings and lightning bolts protruding from your back. District Five; power. You get it, but we're the diamonds necessary? You hardly take note of the varying outfits you're surrounded with from the other kids in your district, before Opal is guiding the four of you up the line of extravagant carriages you're meant to parade out on for the people of the Capitol to fawn over.
You take note of where all of the other tributes from Five are lead, guessing based on the order of carriages that Maisie got paired up with another girl from Eleven, and the boys somehow ended up paired together. There must be some sort of personal aspect to this decision, considering you have watched those two boys fight back home. You're last, and Opal looks at you excitedly as you follow her up, and up, and up- to the very front of the line.
"Surprise!" She grins, clapping excitedly as you approach the very first carriage. "Y/N, getting paired with a career is huge. Your odds are good already, your partner has trained his whole life- he even volunteered."
"Sucks for him." You mutter under your breath as you get closer, eyeing up the boy in front of you, wearing an almost matching outfit. All the rhinestones make sense now, blending power with luxury could only mean as much.
"Y/N Y/L/N, meet Rafe Cameron. He'll be your teammate in the games." She smiles as she introduces you.
"Hi." You say quietly, taking his hand as he holds it out to you to help you up onto the carriage.
"Hey." He mutters, avoiding your gaze. It's off to a rough start for him for sure, seeing he's being paired up with someone from an outlying district must be daunting, when for you it should be exciting. Rafe did volunteer, yes, but he doesn't want to risk any kind of attachment- despite what the people of the Capitol want for their entertainment. He wants to come out alive, he doesn't care so much about who he's with.
"Okay, Y/N, remember to smile, please." Opal reminds you and you nod, looking down at her as you hold onto the handle in front of you.
You promise her with a nod, willing to do almost anything at this point to win the favour of possible sponsors. Again, your odds look better next to a career on that front, as well.
Quickly everyone is cleared away from the horses and the carriages and you start moving, catching you off guard and you stumble a little, readjusting your grip on the railing. "Careful." Rafe says beside you, quick to reach out to steady you if you needed it. You think you see the smallest of smiles on his face, but that must have just been your own mind trying to find comfort in anything around you.
"I got it." You whisper, blushing slightly. You've been with your teammate for all of a minute, and you're already proving yourself to be clumsy.
The lights hit your eyes the same time all the cheering does, being the first carriage, it's already so loud you can hardly hear yourself think. You snap out of it quickly, plastering on a smile once you see your own face on a giant screen ahead of you, you don't even look like yourself anymore. Your eyes land on the screen adjacent to the one showing you, seeing Rafe as well. He's smiling too, clearly having headed Opal's advice, or his many years of training is getting to him and he's excited. You really don't know. Then his head turns, and you turn your head as well, making dead eye contact with him for only a moment before he's looking past you into the crowds, taking in the moment.
When you finally get out of the extremely public eye and back into the building you exited from, you feel like you can finally breathe again. Not fully, in the tight, rigid suit they had you dressed up in, but more than you realized you were with all that yelling in your ears and lights in your face.
"District Five, right?" Rafe asks you as you're both stepping down and you nod. "Jeez, you don't talk much, do you?" He follows up with, taking a water bottle from someone who's walking by with them.
"I talk." You reply quietly. "Just... not much to talk about at the moment."
"The shock? Yeah, that'll do it." He nods, taking a sip from the water bottle and holding it out to you. You shake your head and push it away, making him shrug. "Shitty bust when you're not a volunteer."
You just stare at him, taken off guard by the comment. "That being said..." He leans in closer to make sure no one else hears. "I've been waiting my whole life for this, so don't ruin it for me, yeah?"
You pull back away from him and just nod again, not wanting to get on his bad side already. He won't be the one to kill you, probably, but it would still be nice if you spent your final days without your teammate hating your guts. "Thanks, darling." He smirks, patting your shoulder and brushing past you to go to the elevators.
The next day, bright and early yet again, you have your first day of training. You're sure Rafe won't even need it, but you certainly will. Your mentor told you he will likely be using it to size up the other tributes, especially considering there is a staggering amount of them this year, and you will need to focus on survival skills. Only survival skills, if you had to pick one thing- and your mentor drove that into your head until it was all that was echoing in your mind when you entered the training center.
After the trainers speech which ironically tried to do the same thing, you beeline straight for the fire making station. You're shocked to see almost no one else listened, definitely none of the boys, mostly lining up to show off their physical strengths, likely to try and intimidate each other. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't working.
You look up as you hear echoing laughter coming from the other side of the room, eyes scanning over the wall lined with silhouette targets, and racks with an array of weapons before landing on your teammate, laughing away with the other career tributes over a joke you didn't hear. He's got a spear in one hand, leaning his weight on it as his head drops back with laughter. You shake your head to get back on task, rolling the rough wood in your palms in hopes of making a spark. Good to see at least one of you is having fun, especially in your final days.
After a few minutes you get it, sitting back into your calves where you were kneeling on the ground, taking a breath of relief as you're satisfied with your success. You glance around to see how others are doing, giving a small smile and wave to Maisie when you see her, reading a book about different edible plants and trying desperately to memorize every image. You watch as Rafe takes the same spear he was leaning on before, hurling towards one of the targets. A direct hit, right in the chest, slightly right of the centre. You jump a little at the sound it makes on impact, looking finally at the boy who threw it.
He's pacing, huffing and looking a little frustrated with himself. A little to the left would have been perfect, but it was a kill shot nonetheless. There would be no coming back from that, and you count yourself lucky that it likely won't be you in place of the target in the games.
You quickly put out your fire and try again, making sure you've got the hang of it. You'll sit here all day if you must. After three more successful attempts, you're satisfied for the day, deciding you'll return to that station tomorrow and try again. You get up and brush the dirt off your knees, trekking over to where they have supplies to make game traps. You've never done this before, but there's no better time to learn, especially since your teammate has shown no interest in survival skills so far today.
"What are you doing?" Suddenly Rafe is standing behind you, as you're once again kneeling on the ground attempting to get the trigger on your bladeless trap to work.
You jump a little, startled by someone talking to you. "Uh, trying to make a snare, I think." You answer, turning to look up at him.
"Looks good." He nods, crouching down next to you. "Uh, isn't there supposed to be a blade or a spearhead or something on that piece?" He says, pointing to it.
"Well, yeah, I just didn't want to stab myself by accident." You laugh slightly, trying the trigger again- and this time it works, snapping forward into his arm.
"Ouch, yeah, fair enough." Rafe chuckles, rubbing the spot on his arm where the wood made contact.
You just nod and begin to reset it to test it again. "What if you can't get any of this shit in the arena?" He asks.
"What, a stick?" You ask, hitting the trigger one more time, sending the stick into his arm again, which he had decided not to move.
"Ow! Yes, a stick. We don't know what it will look like." He rubs his arm, examining the trap you built closer now.
"Then we're screwed I guess." You joke, leaning back on your calves again, watching him dissect it piece by piece to figure out how it works.
"So, is this like, your thing?" Rafe asks, and you tilt your head at him as you think it over.
"My thing?" You ask, unsure entirely what he meant. "I've never made one before, if that's what you're asking."
"Really?" He seems shocked by this.
"Uh, yeah, really. Unfortunately for you, you got paired up with someone who has zero survival or combat skills."
Rafe looks at you, a smug grin crossing his features. "Ha ha, very funny." He clearly thinks you're joking, but you're definitely not.
"I'm serious." You say, confused as to why he doesn't believe you.
His smile falters, replaced with wrinkles of confusion on his forehead. "But- I just watched you look at the instruction book for no more than like, three seconds before sitting down to make this."
"And..?"
"If you've never done it before it's supposed to be harder than that."
"Well, I've seen other people do it on TV and stuff every year for like, ever." You shrug. "I've just got a good memory, I guess."
Rafe nods, looking at the deconstructed trap in front of him for a moment, thinking about the implications of this. How far does this go? Could he use it? He'd never dreamt of having to work in a team in his games, but maybe it would benefit him after all. "Come with me." He stands up, and you follow as he paces over to two big screens, covered with a large array of different symbols.
"Try this, I just want to see something." Rafe says, standing next to you with his arms crossed as you quickly look over the screen, reaching down toward the one in front of you. You notice quickly that the screens mirror each other, all the images placed in the same spots as they are above. You look up at your teammate briefly who nods at you and then you tap one, watching it disappear from both screens before you tap the matching symbol. It's a matching game.
Your eyes are locked on the top screen as you tap away at the bottom one, quickly making all the images disappear one by one. It takes you no more than a minute to get rid of them all, and then a timer appears on the screen replaying your every move in real-time. Forty-two seconds. Were you really going that fast?
"Neat." Rafe says to himself, nodding as he watches it replay on the screen. That was impressive, sure, but his mind is straining to find a practical implication for this in the arena. "Go back to survival stuff. Learn as much as you can." He settles on, turning and walking off back to where he was before, returning to combat training.
The four days of training fly by insanely fast, and that's likely due to your dread of what's to come. you've got through everything in survival no less than three times, and you're pretty sure last night you dreamt of plants and making a fire. Not surprisingly, Rafe has left you pretty much alone the whole time, but you did watch from a distance as he cycled through every weapon the training center had to offer, proving he's almost mastered every last one. Of course, with over ten years of training, anything less wouldn't make sense. What scares you is the other careers showing a similar skill level to that of your teammate, but he seems to be on good terms with them. Again, maybe this would be a good thing in the beginning of the games.
You sit down for your last day of making fires and fishing hooks, working solely on memory since day one, you're feeling pretty confident that the elements or exposure won't be what takes you out- but you don't know if that's a good thing or not. You just hope your death will be quick.
"Y/N, c'mere." Rafe is suddenly calling to you, motioning for you to join him in the combat area. Not seeing much of a choice, and not looking forward to another day of doing the same thing over and over, you listen.
You make your way over, avoiding the gaze of other tributes who are looking at you like you're about to make a fool of yourself. It's possible you are. "I want you to learn how to use this." He says as you walk up, holding out the handle of a knife to you.
You take it, turning the sharp blade over in your hand. "I thought you were the weapons master." You joke, looking up at him briefly.
"Well, I need you to make fires and shit so you have to stay alive somehow, and if we get separated or something I need to know you can at least defend yourself. These are good from a distance and up close, but remember that any weapon you have they can take and use against you. So keep distance whenever you can." He answers, pointing over to the target about fifteen feet away. "So, throw it."
You look over to where he was pointing, adjusting your grip on the handle as you nod, taking in the information he's dumping on you. He is probably right, especially since you don't think he plans on protecting you himself. Why would he? If you die, he can still win without you.
You lift your arm over your shoulder, closing one eye to narrow down your aim before throwing it hard towards the target, which the knife bounces off of and clatters to the ground. You and Rafe both turn at the same time to look at the group that's laughing at you, the clang of the metal on the cement echoing loudly in the vast space.
"Don't worry about them. They're not there." Rafe is quick to grab another one, handing it to you the same way. "Try again, this time, hold it like this..." He says, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers in the correct spots on the handle. "Keep your wrist tense and straight, don't flick it or anything. Yeah, like that." He nods, taking a step back.
You look over how you're holding it, committing the feeling and finger placement to memory before raising your arm again. You throw it again, and this time it sticks, but your aim is off and it ends up in the target's leg. You look over at Rafe, unsure if you're hoping for approval or just satisfaction. "That's perfect." He nods. "Not a death blow, but that'll buy you time to get away. which is all you need."
"Okay." You agree quietly.
"Would it help if you watched me?" He offered, already grabbing a new knife while you nod. "So, you want to follow through with the throw, your shoulders should end about here if you're doing it right. You get more power that way, and better aim." He explains, standing with one foot forward, parallel to the target.
You step back to watch his strategy, noting the way he held the blade and his form when he aimed to throw it. He lets it fly from his fingers as his shoulders fall forward, smirking to himself as it hits the bullseye circle, right in the chest.
"You got it?" He asks, standing up straight again. You nod in response and he's handing you yet another knife to try again.
You go back and forth for hours, not caring that you're keeping anyone else from practicing. You're not the best at it, but it's become muscle memory now, and every time it sticks, most of the time hitting the silhouette somewhere. You tried the moving targets briefly, the gold, pixelated figures running at you quickly. You were immediately overwhelmed, and Rafe ended up having to step in to help. He said after that the minimal skill you had would be good enough to get away, and that is all you would need. You just have to focus on that.
You didn't talk a lot, besides taking a few short breaks to gather the knives and his arrows as Rafe explained the pros and cons of every weapon they had present, showing you briefly how to use some of them. Mostly how to defend yourself against them. It's hard for him to sum up years of training in one day, but he's dead set on the idea that you won't need most of it- just having to focus on keeping the two of you sheltered and fed, he can handle the rest; hopefully.
You sit outside the training center next to Rafe, waiting for your name to be called. It was the youngest female tribute from his district first, so if you had to guess, you would be third and fourth to go, which doesn't buy you a lot of time to decide what to do to best show your skills.
"What are you gonna do?" You ask, whispering in the deathly quiet room.
"Huh?" Rafe hums, leaning closer to hear you better.
You clear your throat, before speaking this time, unsure if you were clear enough. "What are you gonna do? Like which skill?" You clarify.
"Oh, uh..." He mutters, adjusting how he's sitting as he thinks about what to say. "I'm just going to cycle through some different weapons, different distance targets, I think. My mentors want me to show like, a variety of what I can do."
You nod at this, making a mental note of that. Maybe you should do the matching game and then try the knives. Opal told you that you would be scored both individually, and as a team. You hope you won't bring down his score too much, since you know he's aiming high. You planned on going for a mid-level score, not to be seen as a threat but also not as an easy kill. A perfect six would be your ideal score. "What about you?" Rafe interrupts your thought process.
"I'm not sure." You answer honestly.
"You should do your survival stuff. That will improve our team score, if we show them we have strengths at both." Rafe suggests. That's not actually a bad idea. Your individual score will likely be lower, but that's a risk you're willing to take.
"Yeah, I'll do that."
You ended up scoring a six, the judges obviously not seeing you as any kind of threat. This is what you expected, though, and you were correct about your group score as well. Rafe and you together scored a ten. On his own, he scored a ten, so you hadn't affected it in the way you feared. This left you reeling over the idea of other tributes seeing you both as a threat as you stand in yet another extravagant dress, waiting in line to be called out for your interview. The games were tomorrow, and the last thing you wanted was to get in front of a crowd and subtly plead with them to let you live, to send you gifts, and to give you their sympathy.
So far it's been in the same order they called everyone for assessments yesterday, which means you would be next. Rafe stands behind you, arms crossed in a suit that looks more expensive than any you've seen back home in all of your life, but he looks comfortable in it. Your dress is once again covered in rhinestones, and your waist is cinched in so tight you can hardly breathe as it is, so you're not looking forward to going on stage.
"Our next tribute, welcome to the stage from District Five, Miss Y/N Y/L/N!" You hear the familiar voice of Caesar Flickerman calling you out and some guards usher you forward onto the stage, very briefly glancing over your shoulder at Rafe.
You're quick to smile as you turn back around, giving a small wave to the host and then out to the audience as they cheer for you. For a brief moment, you feel as if they don't plan on watching you die as early as tomorrow, you feel as if they're rooting for you. "Hi!" You say as you get closer and Caesar stands up to greet you, shaking your hand and giving you a quick hug before gesturing for you to sit down across from him.
You look around the large theatre, spotting every camera you can. Your family is out there watching, somewhere, and you know they'll see right through this show you have to put on. You wish they wouldn't. You can picture so vividly your living room back home, with your parents and siblings scattered across the couch and the floor watching you with bated breath, they can see you- and on some level, you can see them too.
"Miss Y/L/N. Thank you for being here." Caesar sighs, reaching out and patting your hand where it sits on the armrest next to you.
"Well, I didn't have any other plans for the night, so..." You shrug, making him laugh. Laughter echoes from the audience and you smile, hoping that your plan to win people over is working.
"What? A beautiful girl like you?" He asks after he's done laughing. "You weren't planning on spending some of your free time with your teammate?" As if you got even a minute of free time since you've been here.
"Well, I guess we'll never know." You chuckle, looking back at the boy where he stands in the wing, giving you a small smile.
"Now listen, Y/N, Rafe is..." He has to stop after mentioning his name as cheers erupt again, laughing as he waits for the audience to quiet down. "Your teammate is, as you may have guessed, a popular face in the Capitol right now. Are you feeling lucky about your pairing?"
Rafe crossed his arms as he watches intently, feeling smug about his odds, especially now knowing the Capitol's opinion of him. He knows his dad is back home watching, full of pride that his son has become a fan favourite.
"I am." You answer honestly. "He's very talented."
"And handsome, don't you think?"
"I mean, who am I to argue with the people?" You joke, waving your hand dismissively as you hear the cheers pick up again. "Besides, his looks won't save us. We will save ourselves." You add seriously.
Caesar nods in acknowledgment, showing that to an extent, he agrees with you. "Well, I hope that you are right, dear." He smiles, getting up to signal you've run out of time. You stand as well, taking his hand as he holds it up above your heads. "It was so lovely to meet you, and may the odds stay ever in your favor. Y/N Y/L/N, everyone!"
You smile and thank him quietly, waving to everyone with both hands as you walk across the stage to exit on the other side. You take a few deep breaths as you step into yet another waiting room, watching the screen as Rafe is called out right behind you.
Rafe sits down on the chair across from Caesar after his introduction, which allows a few moments for the audience to quiet down. He smiles proudly as he rests one of his feet on his other knee, bouncing his leg with anxiety. He hopes it's interpreted as excitement. "Rafe." Caesar smiles at him, sitting back down as well. "I'll be honest, I have been so excited to finally meet you."
"It's good to meet you too." Rafe grins, chuckling slightly at the few whistles he gets scattered from the crowd.
"You got a fabulous score, how are you feeling about that?"
"Really good, yeah. Obviously I've been waiting my whole life for this opportunity, so it feels amazing to see it all paying off." Rafe answers, focussing on keeping the confidence in his tone.
"We can tell, can't we?" Caesar laughs, riling up the audience again, making Rafe laugh to himself as he softly shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah. So, with all this planning you've been doing, how do you feel about getting paired up? You probably expected to be going in solo."
"I did, for sure, but I don't think this is a bad thing." Rafe admits.
"Oh, getting along well with your teammate?" Caesar asks, a hint of suggestion in his tone.
"Yeah, we get on really well." Rafe exaggerates your relationship a bit, knowing it will earn you more sponsors, and maybe keep other tributes away from you in the games. "At least I think we do, I'm not fully sure about her thoughts on me, though."
"You scored incredibly well together, despite Y/N having a fairly average score on her own. What are your thoughts and feelings on that?"
Rafe chuckles as he leans forward a bit, pointing out to the audience as he speaks. "Don't underestimate her based on the score. I won't give you any spoilers, but trust me, don't overlook her. She's got as good a shot as any of us. Maybe better."
Caesar makes a surprised expression as he nods. "Well okay! Does she have some sort of secret weapon we should be worried about?" He chuckles, gripping the armrests and looking around as the audience laughs.
Rafe just shrugs in response, smirking slightly, which you can tell the audience just eats up. You're trying to decide if this is good or bad for you, though, as you watch, gnawing at your nails in anticipation as you stare at the screen.
"Okay, alright, don't spoil anything then." Caesar laughs. "It'll make for a better show, and I can get behind that."
After a moment of waiting for the cheers to die down, Caesar speaks up again. "Rafe, if I can ask, I know your father has a lot of influence in your district- how is he feeling about your selection for the games?"
You furrow your brow a little bit as you look at the screen, finally learning something interesting about your teammate. If he's from a prominent family in District One of all places, that would certainly explain his attitude. Rafe, on the other hand, doesn't want to talk about his father at all- but of course they would bring him up.
"Yeah, of course." Rafe replies, shifting in his seat. "He's thrilled, it's a huge honour to be here, and to be the first out of his children to be chosen is really special to me. I just hope I can make him and my sisters proud, he's always encouraged us to volunteer."
"I'm sure that you will." Caesar smiles at him. "I hope I will have the honour of hosting one of your sisters on this stage one day, as well."
Your stomach churns just watching this. How can any father who loves his children want this fate for them? This was your father's worst nightmare. You watch as Rafe nods with a smile, and you can see behind his eyes that he doesn't want that, not at all.
The audience cheers as they both stand up, shaking hands before Rafe leaves the stage, a cocky smirk on his face as he waves and winks at the audience. Before Rafe makes it down to the waiting room, you're grabbed an escorted out, heading for the elevator back to your room.
You can't eat, but you know you should. This will likely be your last meal for a while. You decide on just taking a large bowl of fruit and toast to your room, trying to get it down slowly with all the nerves, while you have a bath. Your parents never let you eat in the bath. It's hard to get out knowing this is likely the last bath you'll ever have.
The morning goes by in a blur, you feel Opal's arms around you as she hugs you goodbye and wishes you luck. You know you'll need all of it. You stare down at the ground in front of you as you're pushed onto a plane, of sorts, along with all the other tributes. Once you're sat down, you look around at everyone else. You remember all of their names as you scan over their faces, but you wish you didn't. You get stuck on one of the girls from District Eleven, Hope, who was only thirteen.
She's shaking, and you can see that from where you're sat down the row from her. She reminds you of Rue, the tribute from last year. Her death was a tragedy, it broke the hearts of everyone outside of the Capitol and the career districts. Hope's curly hair sat in a bun on top of her head, and tears fell down her cheeks as she sniffled. She got paired up with a girl from Twelve- the lengths the Capitol will go to to make a mockery of last years games will never cease to amaze you.
"Hey, you look a little pale." Rafe whispers, leaning close to you. You didn't even notice him sit down on the other side of you.
You shake your head slightly, looking down at your knees. "I'm fine."
"Don't think about it." Rafe instructs you, holding his arm out for the tracker to be injected as a guard approaches with the device.
You wince as you hear it get shot into his arm and he chuckles, shaking his arm off to ease the sting. You raise your shaking arm as they hold their hand out expectantly to you. You don't know what it is they're putting in you, but you've never been fond of needles. This is a million times worse. "It's not that bad," Rafe tells you, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel pressure on your forearm, followed by a sharp, stabbing pain. You bite your tongue to keep from making a sound, dropping your arm onto your lap as they quickly walk away.
"What did they do?" You ask him, trying to keep a steady tone.
"It's a tracker, so they know where we are in the arena." He explains quietly. You were the only two talking, and you notice it's earning you glares from several other tributes. Rafe notices this as well, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms, taking this time to size everyone up.
The plane takes off, and before you know it, you're landing at the arena on the outskirts of Capitol property. You wonder if you're close to the ocean, not that you'll get to see it anyways.
You're paraded off of the plane, still trying not to let it show how afraid you are of what's to come. You make the briefest of eye contact with Maisie as she's pulled towards a different hallway, and neither of you have it in you to smile anymore.
"We've gotta get supplies, that's our first move." Rafe says to you as you're led out of earshot of other tributes, into your own hall.
"My mentor said to run." You reply quietly.
Rafe scoffs, shaking his head. "Your what, one mentor said that? Cool. I have fifteen that are still alive and well enough to show up every year. I think we should get supplies." He tells you firmly, but you know that will get you instantly killed, maybe not him, but you stand no shot. "Just stick with me if you want to live."
You just nod a little bit, glancing at him again briefly before you're directed into a separate room across the hall from him. His pedestal will be next to yours, which is a bit of a relief. Your stylist quickly instructs you to strip, and then she helps you into the uniform you assume you'll all be wearing. It's exactly the same as last year, you notice this quickly, but with a '75' logo embroidered on the chest where the District Twelve tribute had her pin placed. Katniss, you remember her name was. She had volunteered for her sister, and at the time you contemplated heavily on whether or not you would do the same. She was so, so close to winning- to getting to see her sister again, but she and the boy from her district, the final two tributes, ended up committing together rather than giving the Capitol their Victor. It was an admirable stance, but you couldn't imagine what that was like for her family, and his.
You step off the concrete floor once you're dressed, instructed to get into the pod that will lift you up into the arena; a glass elevator. Your stylist says nothing to you as they walk out of the room, the glass door sliding shut in front of you. Your knees get weak as you realize you are totally, completely alone, and likely no more than twenty minutes from dying. You think of your family, your siblings, your dad- and the last words he said to you. You'll see him soon.
Your thoughts are halted when the elevator starts to move, lifting you up as the ceiling falls away and you can see sunlight coming through. You squint and shield your eyes as you try to look up to get a better grasp on your surroundings before you can even see anything. Once trees come into view you're frantically looking around, trying to process as much information as you can, and quickly. It's exactly the same as last year, but from what you can tell, flipped in reverse, and made larger to accommodate twice as many tributes. Or everything on camera last year was flipped. There's a silver cornucopia in the middle with the timer that's immediately counting down and supplies inside and scattered around the field in front of you. Rafe is to your right, and a boy from Seven on your left. He scored a six, the same as you, so he's not the biggest threat to you immediately.
You adjust your stance, getting ready to run once the timer hits zero. In what direction, you don't know yet. Rafe wants you to run to the supplies, but statistically, the most deaths will happen in the next five minutes and you don't want any part of that. The supply bags and weapons spread out on the grass are all the same too, by the looks of it. The closest bag to you got picked up by the girl from Seven last year, and it didn't have much of anything helpful. If you're remembering right, it had a rope and some matches, and that was it. It definitely would be useful, but you know you can do better. There should be a bag four pedestals to your right, with a water bottle, an emergency blanket, a fire starter, a first aid kit, and a knife. Right now, that's the one you have to get to. That's your best bet.
Ten, nine, eight... The timer ticks down to the final seconds as you look over at Rafe, who's already looking at you. You point to the bag as your eyes land on it on the other side of him across the field, and he looks at you confused. He's closer, he has a better shot, but you know he won't take it.
Rafe is confused, following your finger and spotting the bag. Why would you want that one specifically? There are others closer, he doesn't feel like now is a time to be picky.
Four, three, two...
Your ears ring with shock as the clock reaches zero, and you're watching most of the other tributes booking it for the center. No one has seen your bag yet as you jump down, beelining across the field and narrowly brushing past Rafe in your move for the small backpack. He stops to let you pass, almost crashing into you head-on. He doesn't have time to worry about you, so he continues on his path to the middle, but he's lost time. Precious time that he doesn't have to lose right at the beginning of the games.
He gets into the bloodbath that the cornucopia has already turned into, looking back over his shoulder quickly as he grabs at any weapon he can get his hands on. He quickly has to sacrifice the blade he just grabbed when he hears footsteps quickly approaching from behind him, turning quickly and plunging it into the boy's chest. He doesn't think to look at who it was.
Cannon's echo around you, and you're counting how many internally as you get to the bag, reaching down to grab it as you run past, trying not to slow down. You look back over your shoulder, hoping to spot your teammate somewhere, but you can't see him. You're scanning the area, blocking out the blood you see flying and scattered along the silver metal of the cornucopia. You can hardly hear any screams over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You can't help but watch as the girl from Three jumps on who is supposed to be her partner, a girl from Twelve, snapping her neck in a second. Within moments, she just drops to the ground next to her- another cannon following. That makes a strong incentive for working in teams. At least Rafe won't betray you early on.
You freeze up for a moment, stopping to scan your surroundings. You still can't find Rafe, taking in the number of bodies scattered around the cornucopia and a few tributes running into the tree line. At least some people were smart. Something flies past your head, making you jump back a step as you look up ahead of you. Within an instant, you're being tackled back by the body of the boy from your district.
"Y/N, fancy seeing you here." He chuckles darkly while you try and fight him off.
"Don't!" You squeak out, him pressing his forearm down against your throat on the ground.
"I've wanted to do this since the second they called your name." He growls, shoving you down again.
"We can help each other, Jack..." You say weakly, clawing at his arm.
"You don't need me. You've got your career boyfriend- and whatever your secret weapon is." He scoffs. "You don't have a secret weapon, Y/N. He's bluffing and he won't convince us."
You gather all your strength and knee him in the crotch, scrambling to get away as he fumbles for just a moment. "God- you are a bitch!" He shouts, grabbing for your ankle just has you pick up the knife he had thrown at you. You grip it the way Rafe had shown you, quickly shoving it into Jack's leg. You just needed to get away.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" You exclaim, backing away quickly. Jack doesn't say another word, cutting his losses and getting up to make an escape for the woods. You hope he ends up okay.
You make your break for it as well, running back towards the woods as you once again scan your surroundings for your partner.
Suddenly you're on the ground, having run straight into the side of one of the pedestals and falling over it. You yelp with the sudden impact of the ground, scrambling to get up and continue when suddenly someone is grabbing your jacket, slamming you into the pedestal again. You scream, trying to shove them off, but they're much stronger than you. "Jael! Wait, wait- Jael!" You make out your own voice yelling the boy's name, which makes him falter. He's the oldest tribute from Eight- he seems shocked you even know his name.
In the moment when he loosened his grip, he jerks forward and then falls over you, a cannon booming making you gasp as you panic to get away. Rafe is quickly running towards you, slinging the bow he just used over his shoulder and yanking the arrow out of the boy's back. "Y/N, let's go!" He shouts, motioning for you to follow him as you continue toward the tree line, both of you keeping an eye on what's happening behind you as you disappear into the woods.
"Let's stay close, but not too close," Rafe suggests as soon as you feel safe enough to slow down, your chest heaving with the exertion of energy and boost of adrenaline. He glances at you briefly, then does a double take. "You okay? Are you hurt?"
You shake your head, coughing to ease the stinging in your throat. "I'm fine. You?"
"Good," Rafe answers, slowing his pace to match yours.
"We, uh, I think we should go the other way." You say, looking around to try and mentally place where abouts you are.
Rafe stops and furrows his brow at you, seemingly frustrated by your resistance. "Why does it matter?"
"The arena, it's the same as last year. Exactly the same. Just, scaled up a bit." You explain. "We should head south, that's where the river is. We'll need water soon."
Rafe laughs slightly, his demeanor changing as he places his hands on his hips and looks at you. "No shit," He says, truly surprised and impressed that you could tell. A lot of the games tend to look like this, and he would never notice a repeat arena down to the rivers if it punched him in the face. Your 'secret weapon' is already paying off. "And you could tell that right away?"
"Yeah, I mean, I guess so. The bags were all the same, everything was laid out the same. I bet there's a river down south." You nod, having a sudden realization. "We should get to that cave- the one the tributes from Twelve holed up in last year. That'll be a good, stable shelter. We can pretty much wait it out." You say, starting to walk in what you believe is the right direction.
"No," Rafe replies, making you stop in your tracks. "Unless you want me to have to kill you in the end."
"Oh, right." You forgot about that part, keeping score. "We're still going to need somewhere to sleep, though."
"Yeah, we'll find it anyways." Rafe nods, carrying on in the direction you started heading. You follow a few steps behind, keeping a bit of distance in the somewhat awkward silence that fell over you two after his comment about having to kill you.
You walk in the thick of the woods for about an hour before you feel like you're reaching the river. You can feel it under your feet, the soil is slightly softer, and the trees a little more green.
Cannons interrupt your thoughts a few times in the hike, totaling up to twenty-three by the time you reach the riverbank. "You were right." Rafe chuckles, mentally disparaging any skepticism he faced during the long, quiet walk.
"Thank god." You giggle, dropping your bag and crouching down to dig through it, hoping for a water bottle. You were right, everything you expected was accounted for.
"Why that bag?" Rafe says, already sitting down on the rocky water's edge to rest for a moment.
"Huh?" You question, unsure you heard over the shuffling of the bag while you zip it up.
"You pointed to it, during the countdown. Why did you want that one?"
"Oh, uh, like I said they all looked the same as last year, and I hoped I remembered what was inside." You say, laying down to reach into the water and fill up the bottle.
"Were you right?"
You nod with a small smile, sitting back up and holding the bottle out to him as you cross your legs.
"That's actually insane." Rafe shakes his head in disbelief as he takes it, downing just about everything in it before handing it back.
You take it and refill it again for yourself. "I'll choose to take that as a compliment."
Rafe wouldn't admit it, but at this moment as he's watching you drink, he's grateful that he got paired up with you. But now, that it's been shown on national television that you know the arena in and out, he wonders what obstacles the gamemakers will desperately throw your way.
"We should keep moving. I feel like a sitting duck out here in the open, I don't like it." Rafe mutters, checking his attitude as he stands up. You're quick to fill up the bottle again, following behind him yet again as the arrows in his quiver rattle together against his back walking over the rocky and unstable terrain, knife gripped tightly in his hand.
You wonder to yourself how he's feeling about leaving behind his predestined alliance of the career pack, but with the factor of most of them being paired up with other districts, it was already too unpredictable. You wouldn't have stuck around either.
The sun started to set as you followed the river upstream. You didn't want to settle without some kind of shelter, and you were committed to finding that cave before you could relax. You could tell that Rafe had the same idea, his steps ahead of you gradually picking up speed with the bow still gripped firmly in his palm.
"It's a beautiful sunset." You speak your mind before thinking, desperately wanting to fill the silence.
Rafe just hums in response, looking up only briefly before training his gaze once again on the ragged rocks at his feet and continuing on. "What's it like in District One?" You ask.
"Fine." He replies coldly. You aren't sure what you expected, but this response was pretty on par. You knew you had almost no chance of survival, so it would at least be nice to get to know the person you spend your final days with, even if he would be the one to kill you in the end.
"I've never been, but I've heard it's... nice." You've only ever heard about it from the perspective of other bitter individuals from Five, jealous of the cushy lifestyle everyone knew they must have lived.
"Yeah." Rafe agrees, clearly not wanting to discuss it.
"What are your sister's names?" You ask, deciding to push a little bit. It's not like he can kill you just yet.
Rafe sighs, but answers anyways. "Wheezie and Sarah."
You're shocked that he answered at all, but you could tell in his interview that he has a soft spot for them. "Cute." You nod, smiling to yourself. "Is Wheezie a nickname?"
"Yep, it's short for Louise."
"That's adorable." You grin, shaking your head.
"Hey, look. There." Rafe says, changing the subject and pointing down the rocks, where there's a small opening under a ledge.
"That's it!" You exclaim, deciding to drop the topic of his sisters in favour for finding your shelter for the night. You rush past him, watching your step as you climb down into the small cave.
Rafe quickly draws his bow, slowing down and peaking into the cave and bracing himself for your screams. How could you be so careless in a game like this? He doesn't understand your lightheartedness, your somewhat positive attitude, and your ability to make small talk despite the circumstances. "Hey, careful!"
"It's perfect!" You call back out as you look around, and Rafe steps down carefully, looking around more carefully than you had. He relaxes once he's satisfied that there's nothing down there waiting to kill you.
"Nice, okay." Rafe nods to himself, and you both get to work making a small fire near the entrance, hidden from view.
You take off your jacket and roll it up, using it as a makeshift pillow as you lay next to the fire, staring at the orange flicker of the flames you made.
Rafe is sitting across from you, knees tucked up to his chest as he does just the same. His mind is absolutely reeling- he needs to find something to eat, and soon. That will be the first thing you'll do in the morning, he'll have to employ your help to find something edible. "How are you with making traps?" He asks.
"I can do it." You reply, sitting up and leaning on your elbow so you can see him. "I'll set some up in the morning."
Rafe nods a little bit. He already knew you could, of course, but he's wondering about the logistics of how they work. "So like... hypothetically, would they work the same if you made them bigger?"
"Like... human-sized?" You ask, catching on to what he's suggesting. It's not ethical- but nothing about this game is. For you, this would definitely be preferable to fighting other kids to death over and over again.
Rafe nods, adjusting how he was sitting and crossing his legs.
"Yeah. I can't see why not." You answer. "It would be harder since I've never done it, but I think it could work."
"Then I say we try it."
The next day, you wake up as the sun rises and the light beats down on you from the entrance of the cave. You didn't sleep comfortably, that's for sure, waking up twice throughout the night to the sound of the cannon. That's twenty-seven. You wonder how many teams have already reached their ten-kill quota, you imagine someone in the career pack already has. Both times when you were startled awake, Rafe was standing at the cave entrance, bow drawn as he squinted into the darkness, hoping that whoever was out hunting other tributes wasn't nearby.
You sit up slowly, stretching out your tired limbs as you look over to see Rafe, fast asleep with a blade in his hand. You should let him sleep, and get to work on finding something to eat, and making some traps.
You grab one of the knives Rafe somehow collected from the bag laying next to him as quietly as possible, sneaking outside and taking in your surroundings. The sound of the river flowing and the smell of morning dew was amazing- you wish you could truly enjoy it in different circumstances.
You quickly get to work tracking down something to eat, landing on a few different plants you know to be edible. You're trekking through the woods near your cave when you come across an apple tree- making you pause as you look it over. It looks out of place- and maybe no one got close enough to it in the games last time that you wouldn't have seen it, but that seems unlikely. It must be new; it makes for the perfect place to try and set up a trap for the next hungry tribute who would be unfortunate enough to wander too close to your hideout.
You're digging a hole in the ground with your hands, avoiding the roots of the tree and sticking in some sticks you sharpened when you hear a twig snap behind you. You freeze, hoping that by some miracle, it's just an animal. You slowly turn your head to try and look, picking up the knife from the ground next to you and holding it tight.
"Just me." Rafe's voice relaxes you, and you stand up, brushing off your knees.
"You scared me." You admit as he takes to looking down into the hole you just dug.
"That looks... awful." He chuckles, patting your shoulder. "It won't kill, but it'll slow someone down enough that I can finish the job."
You nod slightly, staring into the dirt as well. You hated the idea that you were crafting something intentionally to bring harm to another person, but realistically you have no choice. "We'll set up more, along the riverbed and closer to the career pack. We can't monitor them all at once, though- can you make more fatal ones next time?" Rafe asks, pointing back towards the river to accentuate his point.
"That depends, how many arrows can you spare?"
The next few days saw the death toll rise to thirty-six. You kept track every night, scratching their numbers and names into the walls of the cave despite being able to remember anyway. You viewed it as a small memorial, Rafe saw it as a timer ticking down to when he'd have to kill you.
Your first trap had worked on one person, their screams of pain from a cut-up leg summoning your teammate back to the apple tree. He insisted you stay behind as he finished what you started. You had to reset several other traps as well, closer to the cornucopia.
Rafe would never admit it, but he was really starting to like you. He didn't want to hurt you- he was worried the traps wouldn't do enough. The passive approach you so preferred wasn't what he expected, and he knew his dad would be disappointed in him. But Ward would never understand.
He sighed as he poked at the fire with a stick, leaning his head back against the rocky wall of the cave, another cold night ahead of you.
You had your head laid on his lap, his thigh replacing the thin material of your coat that you had been using the last few days.
"How old are your sisters?" You ask out of nowhere, prompting him to look down at you. He had thought you fell asleep a while ago.
"Why does it matter?" Rafe replies, and you just shrug a little bit.
"Gives us something to talk about."
"Fifteen and Eleven." He relents.
"Hey, me too." You smile a little to yourself.
"You have sisters?" Rafe asks. He never asked much about you- he didn't really want to know, in the case he had to kill you.
"Yep. And a brother." You nod, sitting up a little bit. "He's older though, he aged out last year."
Rafe finds himself clenching his jaw. He can't hear that- to see you as a little sister. He doesn't want to imagine what it would be like to see his sisters face the same fate. "Lucky guy." He says quietly.
"Why? I thought it was a privilege, and all that." You chuckle.
"Well, yeah, but not for most. For the outlying districts like you."
"At least you get it." You agree. "How does it feel? Now that you're here, I mean."
"Scary." Rafe admits, throwing caution to the wind now with what his father will think. "Not what everyone tells you it'll be like."
"Is that because of me?" You ask after a few moments, and he nods slightly.
"Not in a bad way, though. It's just different. I expected to be on my own, to die alone, or kill my allies if I had to. Now... I don't know that I have to. Or if I even could." He can practically hear his father shouting at their large screen at home, or storming out claiming he was an embarrassment. He was told his whole life to never show weakness, to 'be a man', but now, at the end, that doesn't matter to him.
"I won't take it personally." You giggle softly, voice shaking as you try to make light of it. "My family won't either, I don't think. Maybe my dad, at first, but eventually he'll understand. They'll forgive you." You try and ease his mind, knowing that in the case that Rafe does win without you, he'll have to face your family in the next month or so during the victory tour.
"I wouldn't ever expect him to." Rafe tells you, tossing his stick into the flames now. He feels sick hearing you talk about it like it's inevitable- but if he has anything to do with it, you'll be coming home with him.
"They're good people." You assure him.
"Don't say that." Rafe chuckles, shaking his head. "I would never forgive myself."
"Okay, fine. They're awful. Just... the worst." You smile, looking up at him and resting your chin in your hand.
"That's better. Thank you." Rafe laughs, poking your forehead and gazing out onto the river as the flames illuminate the water.
In the morning, you're awoken to something brushing your leg. You groan and roll over, head landing once more on Rafe's extended arm underneath you. At least he was finally getting some sleep, pretty much unable to close his eyes since you set foot in the arena. You feel the brush again, followed by something moving on your arm, several things, suddenly, and your eyes fly open and look down when you remember where you are. You let out a scream, scrambling to sit up and pushing yourself back against the wall.
Rafe wakes up quickly, scrambling for the bow next to him when he realizes it won't be any help. You're surrounded by and quickly almost covered in a sickening combination of snakes and spiders.
You're still screaming, trying to shove the creatures off of you. "Come on- come on!" Rafe is yelling at you, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards the exit. You don't get the chance to grab your back and you regret that as you're jumping into the river in attempt to get the spiders off of your skin and out of your clothes.
You're breathing heavily as you come up for air, and Rafe is quickly there, brushing his hands over your hair to make sure every last spider is gone. He looks back at the entrance of the cave, chest heaving like yours as the bugs and snakes spill out of it. It sends a shiver down his spine- he was never a fan of snakes.
"I guess that's the gamemakers telling us enough was enough." He sighs, gently pulling you towards the shore again a safe distance away. "Are you bit?" He asks once you're a safe distance away.
"I don't think so..." You reply, hiking up the ankles of your pants to look at your calves and over your bare arms as you sit on the shore. "You?"
Rafe shakes his head, doing the same. "It was probably just a warning. We have to move." He quickly lowers his pant leg over the puncture wounds in his leg, hoping you didn't see. If it gets worse, he'll tell you. The bite itself didn't hurt much, so if it's going to be fatal, he's glad he won't have to hurt you.
Rafe helps you up, leading you up towards the tree line. "They probably want to push us in toward the other tributes, I think we should go with it before they throw something worse at us." You, the two of you now left with nothing but what you had on you, along with Rafe's bow and a few spare arrows.
He nods. "It's our best move anyways. How many tributes are left?"
"Twelve including us." You answer quickly. "There's Avril, a boy from six, Maisie, she's from my district, most of the careers I think are still in it but not their teammates," You begin to rattle off the list,
"I don't want to know names." Rafe cuts you off, and you understand why. He's been doing all the dirty work, and part of you knows it's because he's hoping to have time to learn names and feel guilty about it later. Right now, he can't afford to see them as human.
"Right." You agree. "It doesn't really matter, anyways."
"Do you know scores?" He asks, walking alongside you now.
You nod, beginning to list off all the remaining tributes and their scores, from lowest to highest. The lowest being you- and the highest being ten, shared by Rafe and a boy from district two.
After hearing two more cannons that day, and checking all the traps you had set, you're circling back to the river to be near fresh water before you set up camp again. You don't have your water bottle anymore, or anything to set up any kind of shelter with, you do your best. You set up a fire, Rafe insisting that if it draws other tributes to you so be it- he's ready for this to end just as much as you, but you don't want to rush into your death or an ambush. It's safe to say you won't be sleeping tonight.
You didn't sleep, but at least, curled up under a tree, the night sky was beautiful. The stars seemed realistic, and you wondered if somehow they were real. Between the two more cannons that struck overnight, you still wondered if you were somewhere near the ocean, or somewhere closer to home. While you're sitting next to each other in a peaceful silence, both admiring the vastness of the night sky, you hear a ringing sound coming from above.
Rafe quickly stands, reaching for the small silver pack with a parachute before it hits the ground. He's quick to open it as you stand up, looking into the container. You grab the small card, tilting it into the light of your fire to read it.
For our Y/N,
Keep fighting. Please come home to us.
Love You Always, Dad
Tears form in your eyes almost instantly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "It's just a water bottle and some kind of granola bars... or something." Rafe says, turning the water bottle over in his hand.
He looks up at you, frowning when he sees how upset you look. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." You quickly shake your head, wiping your eyes. "Uhm, it's from my dad."
The fact that your family could spare enough money to send you something in the games at all was amazing to you. You heard horror stories of the astronomical prices of trying to send something from outside of the capitol, without the status and funds of a sponsor.
"Oh." Rafe replies, handing you the tin and bottle now, taking the card from you gently. He reads it over slowly, and over and over again. His family had seemingly endless amounts of money, and they had sent him nothing. He knew his father viewed it as cheating, and that you shouldn't need any kind of help to win. If he loved him, though, that wouldn't matter. He should be willing to do anything he could to keep his son alive. The way your parents did.
"My mom made these." You sniffle, grabbing a small bar from the container in her hand. "They're my favourite, she only makes them on birthdays or special occasions." You explain.
"That's... that's really nice." Rafe says, putting the card back in the tin. He doesn't know how to handle this, or what to say.
You smile sadly as you sit back down against the tree, placing the tin on your lap as Rafe joins you. "Here." You hold the bar out to him.
"They're for you." Rafe shakes his head, pushing it away.
"They're for us." You insist, holding it out to him again. "They wouldn't have sent two if I wasn't meant to share."
"Thank you." Rafe smiles genuinely, for the first time in weeks as he takes it. He's starving, having eaten only small amounts of meat and plants over the last week or so, so he's quick to take a bite. It's sweet, more so than he expected. He never thought he could enjoy sugar this much.
"No wonder they're reserved for celebrations, hey?" You giggle, having intently watched his reaction.
Rafe nods. "Yeah, it's really good. Super sweet." He says, mouth still full. You grin, satisfied as you take a bite of your own.
The night flew by so quickly, you're feeling as though it must have gotten shorter. The sunrise went by fast too. You're guessing the gamemakers and the viewers were getting antsy. To be honest, you were as well.
Renewed with your energy the sugary baking your parents had sent, you set about gathering food and water, while Rafe goes on to check a few of your traps to see if they needed to be reset. He could do it on his own, but he liked watching you do it, working the ropes between your fingers and tying intricate knots, pulling back on the stick used to trigger the arrow. By the afternoon, having taken a mental note of the amount of cannons that had fired. It was a few, at least. You must be getting down to the end. He prayed it wasn't you, but the cries of some kind of mutts in the distance right before the cannons lead him to believe that you were fine- but he should be getting back soon anyways.
You were wandering down to the water, reluctant to leave your camp, but you knew water was a priority. You were just filling up the new bottle when you heard a scream. It sounded like a boy. You quickly look back over your shoulder, noticing it was nearby. Toward the apple tree. You stand slowly, looking around as you attach the water bottle back to your side with a carabiner, reaching instead for the knife Rafe had left with you. God, you hoped it wasn't him. The absence of a cannon gives you hope, though.
You quietly head in that direction, watching your step so your presence isn't detected. When you get closer to the tree, you hear crying. Painful crying, as you're faced with the reality of the trap you set.
You watch from behind a tree as the boy from eight tries to pull his leg up from the ground, screaming out again as the sharp sticks dig into his flesh. You should go get Rafe- you feel guilty, but you can't kill him yourself. You turn quickly, and before you can get a step away you're face to face with one of the other careers- a sword held up against your neck.
"Don't move." Blake says, a smile that can only be described as evil spreading over his lips.
You try and scream out for help, hoping Rafe was still in earshot but a hand is quickly covering your mouth. "Not yet." He whispers, shaking his head. "We've got a plan, it'll be fun. You wouldn't want to ruin that, right?"
As Rafe gets back to your small camp, he expects to see you there waiting. He scans the trees above him, wondering if you had climbed up for some reason. He calls your name when he doesn't see you, brow furrowed. You definitely should be back by now. As he's heading down to the water to look for you, he hears a cannon, which at this point wouldn't bother him- if it wasn't for the scream that followed after. It was you. No doubt in his mind that it was you. With his bow drawn, he's moving quickly towards where he heard your voice, throwing caution to the wind.
You scream again, crying as the tip of the sword is dug into your shoulder, laying down next to the apple tree. You can't help it- but you don't want their trap to work. You don't want Rafe to come, so you bite your tongue until you taste blood, hoping to keep quiet. "It'll only get worse for you if you don't scream, Y/N/N." Blake scolds you, digging in the blade more. "He has to hear you." He adds through gritted teeth.
You hear a twig snap just outside the small clearing, and Blake is quickly turning to look with the sword still pinning you to the ground. "Rafe it's a trap!" You shout, hoping that it's him.
Rafe steps out then, into full view with his bow drawn as he aims at the boy in front of him. When they first met, he knew they would have been good friends if they met anywhere else. "You won't shoot me." Blake chuckles, and Rafe quickly readjusts his grip.
"I will." Rafe says sternly, pulling the string tighter as Blake moves the sword to hover over your chest. Over your heart.
"If you shoot, the last of my energy will go into killing her. I don't think you want that." He shakes his head, smiling smugly.
"I don't care." Rafe says, making your heart clench. You know that you're friends, at the very least. He does care. He's bluffing- you have to believe that.
"If you didn't care you would have shot me already." Blake calls it, and Rafe tenses up, looking down at you only briefly.
"Then what do you want?" Rafe spits.
"Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to watch." Blake shrugs. "Just makes it a little more fun, you know? But don't worry, you'll be next." You know he just wants to prove himself, somehow, not having scored as high as Rafe did. You wonder if his family was somehow similar- that he needed some kind of approval that he thought he might find through sadism.
Rafe looks down at you again, and you just nod, tears streaming down your temples to your ears. He quickly readjusts before letting the arrow fly, planting straight in the shoulder that held the sword as you quickly roll over, slicing across your chest and shoulder in the process. It was well worth it.
Rafe fires another arrow into his chest, not taking any risks and the cannon quickly follows as he rushes to your side.
"Are you okay?" He's asking, hands hovering above you as he's kneeled next to you, unsure what to do.
You nod, still biting into your tongue as blood continues to slide down your skin, dampening your now torn up clothes.
"It's not that bad." Rafe says, looking over the cuts as best he can, but you wince when he pulls the fabric away. "You're gonna be fine, alright?"
"Yeah, yeah..." You mumble, letting your head fall back against the brush below you. Rafe is quick to take his coat off, using it to push down on the deepest part of the wound on your shoulder, trying with his other hand to apply pressure to the rest of it. You try and focus on your breathing, rather than the pain, but it's hard when a significant amount of weight is being applied to your shoulder and chest.
"I'm sorry, I have to." Rafe tells you, jaw tense as he lifts his coat to check whether or not the bleeding has slowed. You didn't even realize you were crying.
After a few minutes, he's lessened the pressure a bit, still holding the fabric firmly over your skin. "You could have ran." You mumble, voice hardly above a whisper.
"I wasn't gonna leave you." Rafe shakes his head, gently peeling away his now blood soaked windbreaker.
"You at least shouldn't have saved me. Not much point in that, is there?" You smile softly, trying to sit up and Rafe is quick to help.
"There is. You have to win." He mutters.
"I'm not winning, Rafe." You smile sadly at him. "Infection will kill me if you won't, and if no one else does first."
"No, they'll fix you up. This cut will be gone in a week, the technology they have is-"
"Rafe." You grab his attention again and he looks up to meet your eyes. They seemed to suck in all the light of the sunset above the two of you, reflecting back at him in a way that makes his breath hitch. The thought is cut short, however, when you say something that breaks his heart. "Don't give me hope like that."
"Why? You're gonna go home. I mean it." He promises. "I'll make sure of it."
"I don't think we have enough." You remind him sadly, a small smile still evident on your lips as you reach up to cup his cheek in your palm. "I never expected to go home. I'm okay with that."
Your friend shakes his head softly. "That doesn't matter. You have your family to get home to, I read that note from your dad. They need you, I can see that. For me, these games are all I was raised for. I have nothing left for me after this." He admits, avoiding eye contact with you.  "I could never forgive myself if I didn't get you home."
Tears are forming in your eyes again as you look up at him. The world is watching, and in this moment of vulnerability you feel that more than ever- despite the quiet sounds around you being only the rushing water in the nearby river and the birds chirping around you. "You're a good person, Rafe." You smile at him, watching as he gently raises his hand to yours, grabbing it in his own. "I hope you know that."
In this moment, you settle on the idea that you would die for him. You never understood last years tributes, honestly, how they were willing to die for each other instead of getting home to their own loved ones, but now you do. Completely.
Without a second thought, you find yourself leaning closer, Rafe doing the same as he kneels next to you in the dark. Your eyes meet once more, lips only an inch from touching when you hear a howl in the distance, and you snap your head to the direction it came from. "The Mutts... Already?" You say, scrambling to get up and ignoring the pain in your shoulder.
"I- I heard them earlier, they sound far away." Rafe says, trying to calm you.
"You heard them? You didn't tell me?" You ask, frantically grabbing his bow from the ground and handing it to him as he goes to pull the discarded arrows out of Blake's body.
"I didn't think it mattered!" He defends, trying to hide the panic in his voice.
"There were four left last year when they sent them out. I think... yeah I think that's right. There's four of us. We have to run." You say in a panic, pulling on his hand. "Our best bet is making it back to the cornucopia."
"It'll be too open- can't we climb a tree or something?" Rafe says, following after you as you're running through the bush now in the direction of the open field.
"I don't know if that will work, but I know we'll be safe there." You explain like it's obvious. "We have to risk it- and if you can get to the others first, if they have the same idea, we'll be at ten."
You're out of breath already, adrenaline pushing you through as you hear scattered barking getting steadily closer after one more cannon. Part of you wants to stop, turn, and force Rafe to take the win if you couldn't have it, but with any hope left, you have to try and get back to where this started. The traps was an unfortunate choice in how you got your kills, because you couldn't keep track of how many since by the time you got around to checking them, the body's would have been airlifted off if it wasn't a misfire. If you had to guess, though, you were sitting at eight.
Rafe is running similar calculations in his head as he lets you lead him by memory straight to the field, mind short-circuiting as he sees the silver moonlight reflect off the cornucopia.
You sprint across the open field, blood pouring from your undressed wound again with the intense exertion of energy. Rafe doesn't pass you, though, despite you expecting that he would. You have tunnel vision as you make it to the metal structure, practically slamming into it before you can even stop. Rafe is quick to lift you and shove you up, both of you looking over your shoulders as you struggle to hold onto the edge, kicking the sides to hold yourself up.
You finally get up, reaching down to help pull Rafe up. He grabs onto your arm for leverage, mostly pulling himself up and you wince as you feel the tension from his weight in your cuts.
You flop down onto your back on the cold surface as he climbs over you, immediately standing up with bow drawn as he intently scans the surrounding area. He's only got the two arrows left, which makes him nervous if that's all he has to defend the both of you with.
You try to settle your breathing, which only lasts for a moment until the sky lights up with the recap. You miss your cave, where you could contribute to your memorial, especially seeing the face of Maisie flash above you on the sky while the anthem plays.
You close your eyes, just listening to the music now until you hear barking just outside of where Rafe can see, and you're quickly sitting up. He draws the bow tighter, aiming in the direction the howls came from just as someone pushes out into the clearing. Rafe is aimed straight at them, bow string pressed to his cheek. He's getting dizzy, and quickly. His aim can't fail him now, he doesn't have that option.
You watch them, in the dark you think it's the other boy from district one, and in your exhaustion you can't remember his name. You wouldn't dare say it, anyways. He's screaming for help, a call you know you can't answer, and you watch as they stumble on their feet, shoes and hands digging into the ground as they try to get up, just ten or so yards from you by now.
Rafe wants to shoot just then, it would be as simple as letting his finger loose and the arrow would fly towards its target. It would be a merciful end for the boy he's trained with for years now, only a couple years younger than him. The muscle in his jaw is aching from the tension he's put on it when he forces himself to let go. He has to do it, for himself, if he wants to go home.
He misses. The yelp of one of the mutts tells you it landed in a paw or back, and you look up at Rafe who's already drawn his second. "Rafe!" You cry out, pushing yourself up onto your feet and standing behind him now.
He hates to admit that your empathy has rubbed off on him. Watching you every night carving seemingly endless names and numbers into the rocks that lined the space you stepped in. He recalls waking up one morning and seeing your name and his carved in as well, closer to where he laid by the fire, his underlined and yours with a heart at the end. Like a signature on the top of a math test. He had wondered if you always wrote your name like that, and in this moment as he releases the bow again, he knows he has to find out for himself.
It happened so fast, the mutts knocking down the boy and the arrow flying from Rafe's shaky hands into where he should have been right as the cannon sounds. You don't know that it was Rafe's arrow that did him in.
"No..." You mumble, clamouring forward and onto your knees again to look over as the boys body is torn apart by the mutts. "You had to have done it. You had to." You say, trying to get a better view.
In a second, Rafe's arms are around you and he's pulling you back from the edge, sitting now behind you with his arms wrapped tightly over your body. "It's okay.. it's over." He mumbles, kissing the side of your head as the sunlight comes over the trees. He's fighting off the urge to vomit, everything spinning around him now.
You sit with him, gripping onto his arms and crying. Nothing is happening, so you must not have made it to ten. You feel sick- your heart is in your throat and suddenly you're really hot, moving away from him to look over the edge again, this time incase you have to throw up. You freeze, looking over to where the boy's body once was. The second arrow was in the ground. He missed again.
Rafe sees it at the same time as you. He sighs, hanging his legs over the edge. "Shit... Y/N, I'm sorry." He mumbles, gently reaching over to rub your back.
"No, no. It's okay." You insist, sitting up next to him. "I knew this would happen."
"I'll get you home." Rafe says, sliding down the side of the cornucopia before you can stop him. He stumbles the landing, swaying in his walk as he heads towards the arrow lodged into the dirt.
"Wait! Wait, wait, Rafe!" You're sliding down after him, running to his side and grabbing his arm before he can get to the arrow in the ground.
He turns to you quickly, hand on your cheek and he's pressing his lips to your forehead. "Sit with me?" He asks, knees already giving out as he falls to the ground.
You're instantly on the ground beside him, practically holding his head up with your free hand as you search him visually for some kind of injury.  "What happened? Are you hurt?"
"Uh, I guess so." Rafe mutters. "Snake bite. I think."
"You didn't tell me? I could have fixed this, I could have helped..." You ramble on, his eyes dropping shut now. "Hey, eyes open."
"It's okay. Just sit with me..." He says again, smiling weakly. "Wait with me... please?"
You nod, sniffling as you fight back the tears that want to fall. "Yeah, of course. I'll stay."
Before he closes his eyes, the music starts again and your eyes are drawn up to the sky after you notice Rafe is looking first.
Then, begins a similar slideshow of faces you recognize. Ten in total. Rafe's eyes flicker with slight recollection, remembering any kills he made himself and you gasp when you see Jack. Whatever damage you had done when he tackled you on the first day must have killed him. "Rafe.." You mumble, lowering your eyes to meet his. "I think we won."
Your point is accentuated by the voice of the head gamemaker over some unseen speakers. "Introducing the Victors of the Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games!"
"We did it." Rafe laughs weakly, squeezing your hand.
You fully ignore the aircraft hovering down in front of you on the grass, turning your head to look down at him. You don't say anything, neither of you do, and you finally feel your lips against his. The kiss is bad, it doesn't really work when both of you are stuck smiling ear to ear, but you don't care one bit. The only thing that matters is that you got this chance at all.
Rafe pulls away from you slowly, using all the strength he has left to lift himself onto his feet as you steady him. "He needs help!" You shout to them, and you're quickly being lead onto the plane.
"They've got really good technology," You mock what he said to you just the day before. "It'll be like it never happened in a week, okay?" You chuckle, feeling waves of happiness, worry, and relief all at once as you quickly wipe away a tear with your free hand, other arm wrapped tightly around Rafe's waist to hold him up.
He laughs, and you lean into him more, your forehead against his shoulder as the aircraft door slides shut behind you.
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582 notes · View notes
intynidad · 6 months
Note
yayayayayayayya!
Imagine a Soldier, a DILF,Huge, muscular, and so intimidating! But there are a few drawbacks.. He is VERY possessive and overprotective! (Yandere)
He can’t see you with another man! Or even the thought of a man breathing in your direction is enough for him to throw a sharpened knife at his head.. Even women are rivals to him.. He is a MaleWife! I’m his free time he wants to take care of you! like imagine the pink frills and bows but with camouflage pants and dog tags..
And the way he looks at you.. with so much adoration and love.. Even after transforming into a beast a few moments ago and glaring at the one who dared to even look at his sweet darling!
Scary dog privileges!! A huge almost 7 foot man stalking behind you with a preditorial gaze.. Sending death glares at anyone who passes near you..
you don’t know how he is so stealthyfor being so huge..
Has a huge and muscular body! So he has huge hands and arms.. With lots of bulging veins!
(Imagine grabbing his moobies after a hard day of work.. He would moan and whimper like a bitch in heat.. a string of Thank yous coming out his mouth..)
I imagine he has a hidden piercing probably on his tongue.. but no one knows.. except you.. but isn’t noticeable because he wears a balaclava at work!
Petnames!: Darling, Sweethear, Angel, My love, Princess, Lovely
It took some time but i really like how it came out owo
I got a little lazy on the end but is still good
TW: yandere behavior, description of violence(not towards reader), use of pet names (sugar cube and darling), female oriented reader ??? Tell me if i miss anything owo
Enjoy !
War was not kind to anyone.
First, your father was drafted to fight on the front lines. He tried to write every time he could, but one day, you and your mother stopped getting any letters. That's when you knew it - that your father was dead.
Your now-widowed mother was absolutely heartbroken. You tried to initiate a conversation, saying, -"Hello, Mom,"- but were only met with silence. This is how things have been going since the news of your father. It’s been a lonely and difficult time for your family.
You often found yourself staring out of the window, watching the seasons change. The world outside seemed to carry on as if nothing had happened, while inside your home, there was a void that couldn't be filled.
You saw how the war started to consume your little neighborhood, first your father, then your mother, and now your friends.
"I can't believe it," you said with a shaky voice. "You can't leave me."
You clutched the small phone in your hands while the other person on the line gave a low chuckle, full of sadness. "I know, I know. It's not like I want to."
"Dylan, please," you begged, your voice choked with a sob. "You're sick. You can't go to fight."
"I can't just stay still while the war consumes our lives, sugar cube," Dylan replied with determination. "Listen, I'm going to do everything I can to stay in contact, but I refuse to stay still while our enemies burn our homes and kill our people."
You understood his sentiment, but the fear of losing yet another person you loved was overwhelming. The war had taken so much from you already, and you didn't want to lose Dylan as well.
"Dylan, promise me you'll be safe. Promise me you'll come back," you pleaded.
"I promise I'll do my best, sugar cube," Dylan said softly. "And I promise we'll be together again when this nightmare is over."
As the call ended, you clutched the phone tightly, tears streaming down your face, thinking of the destiny of one of your closest friends. With your vision blurry, that's when you saw it:
[Be the hero of our heroes!]
[Become a war nurse and help today!]
——-
The training was fairly easy, but the hardest part was saying goodbye to your mother. It wasn't because of the response she gave you, but rather the lack of it. The war had taken so much from her, and you leaving to join the medical corps was another sacrifice she had to bear in silence.
After three months of training and preparation, you reached your destination - the front lines. Well, it wasn't exactly the front lines where bullets flew, but it was a place where you felt like you were helping. The makeshift field hospital was a hive of activity, with wounded soldiers being brought in, and the dedicated medical team doing their best to save lives and ease suffering.
Your heart swelled with a mix of fear and determination as you donned your nurse's uniform. You had a newfound respect for the doctors and nurses who worked tirelessly in these conditions, and now, you were one of them.
Every day, you encounter injured soldiers, each with their own story of bravery and sacrifice. You offered comfort, administered care, and listened to their fears and hopes. It was a harsh environment, but the camaraderie and shared purpose among the medical staff gave you strength.
As you continued your work on the front lines, you knew that this was where you were meant to be, where you could honor your father's memory, support your friends, and be a beacon of hope in the darkness of war.
That was until one particularly slow day. Well, as slow as it could be in a war hospital. You were preparing some medical supplies for the medics to take to their respective camps when a superior of yours called you.
-"Y/N! Could you come over and take care of this new patient? I'm kinda busy right now,"- the woman said in a calm tone.
-"Sure, just send them back here, and I'll take care of them,"- you responded.
Her tone was pretty chill, so it was probably just a bruise or maybe a cold. You were preparing some medicine and band-aids when you felt a small tap on your shoulder.
-"I'm sorry to keep you waiting; please have a sea-" When you turned around, you were shocked to see a man - no, a practical giant - towering over you.
The soldier was immense, with a rugged face that bore the scars of battle. He had a stern, almost intimidating expression, and it was clear that he had seen his fair share of combat. As he hunched down to enter the tent, you couldn't help but feel a mix of awe and trepidation.
-“Captain Samuel Reynolds, a pleasure to make your acquaintance"- he said in a deep, gravelly voice. His uniform was tattered and stained, and he clutched his side in obvious pain.
-"Y/N,"- you replied, trying to regain your composure. You quickly gestured for him to sit on one of the makeshift beds. As he eased himself down, it became apparent that he was wounded, a bandage around his abdomen stained with blood.
-"I heard you're the best nurse in this place,"- he said, his voice filled with both gratitude and a touch of humor.
You blushed at the compliment. The reality was that you were just doing your best, like all the others in the medical corps. You started to assess his injuries, trying to hide your nervousness as you worked to remove the soiled bandage.
-"You've been through quite a lot,"- you commented as you cleaned the wound.
Samuel winced, but he nodded. -"The front lines aren't a picnic, that's for sure. But I've seen worse."
As you stitched up his wound and administered medication, you couldn't help but feel watched as his gaze practically pierced through you. But you continued to do your work, focused on providing the best care you could.
-"Okay, that should do for the bleeding, Mr. Reynolds. Let me go grab some bandages and some painkillers for you,"- you said.
His response caught you off guard, -"...why?"- Samuel said, almost confused about your reasoning.
-"Because, um, you are hurt?"- You stammered, wondering if you had said something wrong.
-"Thanks for the offer, sweetheart, but this pain won't kill me. Plus, there are some other people around that probably need those painkillers and bandages more than me,"- Samuel said matter-of-factly. He expected it to be the end of the conversation. You would probably tell him okay and assign him a bed, and that would be the end of it.
But you surprised him with your firm resolve. -"No,"- you said.
-"Thanks, so I will be going to my bed, then,"- Samuel was more than confused when he registered your words.
-"Wait, what?"- he asked.
-"I'm sorry, Captain, but with all due respect, I will not allow you to do that,"- you said firmly.
-"Do what?"- Samuel was clearly taken aback.
-"I'm sorry, but as long as you are here, I'm in charge of you, and I won't let any of my patients go suffering when they can perfectly take some rest and medication,"- you said, giving him a small, determined smile. It was clear that you weren't going to back down.
Samuel's eyes met yours, and he seemed to be processing your words. His tough exterior had met its match in your unwavering dedication to your patients' well-being.
As you delicately applied pressure to his wounds to wrap them up in bandages, Samuel couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat. The way your hands worked so skillfully and delicately had a calming effect, and he found himself strangely drawn to your touch. It was as if your care had the power to make his pain vanish.
However, the sensation of your fingers on his skin made him nervous. His heart raced, and he couldn't quite understand why he felt this way. Samuel, a battle-hardened captain, suddenly felt a wave of discomfort.
-"I'm sorry, but are you okay?"- you asked, looking into his eyes as you reached your hand to his forehead. -"You're a little bit hot."
-"I'm f-fine,"- he stammered, full of shame. How was it possible that he was suddenly stuttering? What was happening to him?
Samuel couldn't quite comprehend the mix of emotions he was experiencing. Here he was, a soldier used to facing danger and making difficult decisions, and yet in this moment, your caring presence and gentle touch had him feeling vulnerable in a way he had never felt before.
A couple of weeks passed, and you continued to care for him. It didn't take much time for Samuel to realize that he was in love. A cold-blooded soldier had become completely enamored by a tiny (in comparison to him) nurse. He couldn't help but follow you with his gaze as you waltzed around the hospital, tending to the wounded and offering comfort with your warm smile.
He felt a profound happiness with you in his life. The war, which had taken so much from him, had also given him something unexpected – love.
One day, when his wounds were practically all healed up, he went for a run around the hospital perimeters. Part of it was to use some of the energy he had built up during his recovery, but deep down, he also wanted to make sure you were safe.
During his run, he stumbled upon a small river with water lilies floating on its surface. They were small in comparison to his massive hands, delicate and beautiful, just like you. Samuel found himself captivated by their fragility and elegance.
He decided then and there. He would confess his feelings to you when the sun went down. Those lilies, a symbol of the tenderness he had discovered in the midst of war, would be his gift to you. They represented the love that had grown in his heart, unexpected and pure, just like the delicate blossoms on the river.
He advanced with a spark to his feet, feeling his heart sincronice to each step he took.
At the entrance of your “office” (it was just a big tent but you liked to call it that) , he called out to you, -"Um, Miss Y/N, are you there?"- He couldn't help but feel a certain nervousness in his voice. It was an unfamiliar feeling for him, like he was a teenager again, not a battle-hardened soldier.
When he didn’t hear anything he decided to just enter and wait for you.
It was weird. You usually would check for medical supplies and then come back to your tent to put on your uniform and THEN start the day…not like he had your whole schedule memorized of anything.
He started to worry. Maybe you had been distracted or were in some kind of danger. The concern for your well-being began to overshadow his initial nervousness. He scanned the tent, looking for any signs of where you might be or if there was trouble.
He bolted to his feet again running to the “hospital”, full with worry.
When he got there he asked to another nurse if they had see you
-“oh, Y/N. O boy let me tell´ya. They been all lovely dovey with somebody on the back”-
-…what- Samuel felt his heart freeze
The nurse continued without noticing -“ya’ apparently it was an old friend of them. Let me tell’ya boy. The moment that guy enter she almost fainted of happiness. She was like “omg its been so long and””-
Samuel stopped listening half way through. He didn’t care about that guy.
He cared about you.
Who was this guy
How do you know him
He was dangerous?
Was he an enemy ?
He walked with a heavy step. Until he hear a small voice sniffling.
Samuel froze. It was you.
-“aww don’t worry sugar cube. I’m alright told ya’”- a voice he didn’t recognize talked to you
He cringed at the nickname the stranger gave you. Sugar cube
Yes you were sweet and all of that but he had no right to call you that.
-im sorry Dylan is just that *sob* the tears don’t stop- you responded
Dylan huh…where did he heard that name before.
He peeked a little and what he saw made his blood boil.
You were there with tears staining your beautiful face. And that disgusting man was kissing them away. Like he had any right to do that.
He continued to observe in silence.
He saw how this man sat you on his lap while kissing you.
At this point the lilies were long forgotten crushed to mere crumbs into his hands.
And when he saw Dylan slowly caress your leg he couldn’t stand there any longer.
He opened the curtain that separated you three and walked with a heavy step.
-“may i know what you are doing, soldier?”- his voice low and authoritative
Dylan that was not paying attention, bolted his head toward him and with super speed put you down on his side
-S-Sir i'm sorry is- Dylan tried to explain himself while he brushed up his uniform
-“I don’t want to hear it,soldier. Identify yourself and your section”-
-“Dylan Ramirez sir. I just got transfer to site 2-A sir.”-
Ah. That where he knew him. He was a new transfer to HIS section.
-why are you in this stablishment and not reporting to me of your arrival- samuel said with maybe a little to much volume
-“i wanted to say hello to nurse Y/N sir. She is an old friend sir.”-
Friend…he didn’t believe that bullcrap
-i want you out and to run 10 laps around the perimeter.NOW-
And with that Dylan rise to his feet and run towards the exit.
You that were looking at the whole exchange. Felt slightly intimidated. Like the first time you met Samuel. He been so nice with you that you forgot that he is a high rank in the troops.
When your two sights encounter you couldn’t help but look to the ground.
-“are you alright?”- say Samuel on a voice much, much softer than the one he used with Dylan.
You didn’t say anything.
-“is just that…I heard you cry and got worried”- that was partially the truth but he was sure you wouldn’t mind.
-“yea i apologize for the whole scene…Mr Samuel”- you said with a hint of shame on your voice
-“you don’t have to apologize for anything,darling. Is just we are going tomorrow to the front lines again and maybe im a little nervous”- another half truth but alas it was for the best.
-“can i ask you to do something for me?”- you said, still looking at the ground
Oh if only you knew what he would do for you
-whatever you need-
-Please take care of Dylan on the front lines. He is a very important person to me-
Why. Why he was such an important person to you?.
Why does he had that he didn’t?
Why you looked at them without fear and when you looked at him your gaze was on the ground?
Why
Why
WHY
-“sure. Ill make sure Dylan is taken care of”- samuel say after a moment
-“thank you”- you said with a small smile
…..
He still though of that small interaction. He almost felt a hint of guilt for breaking his promise. Almost
He choose Dylan as his second in command to investigate a supposedly abandoned enemy base. That way they could maybe find supplies or a hint to end this war.
He had done this dozens of times.
The feeling of the bone breaking and the warmth of the blood on his hands. But the adrenaline on his veins this time made it a little different. Almost like if it was more personal.
If he had to compare Dylan to an animal it would probably be a deer of some kind.
A frail and sickly one but still a deer
First it was a shoot to the leg. He screamed in pain as he fell to the ground but we both knew that nobody would come.
Then Samuel stepped on his hand with all his force. It made a crack that send a pleasant chill to his own spine.
The beating continued for a while. For too little time on Samuel’s opinion and if Dylan had the ability to speak he probably said it was for far too long.
But no one can really talk with a broken jaw and without a tongue.
When he came back to the base. Nobody question the story of an ambush.
Nobody question that fact that his knife was missing.
Why would they?
After all he was the first in command. He was the commander Samuel
But the acting when he came back to you was supreme. Maybe he should had been an actor instead of a soldier but anyway.
You cried and screamed and punched the air.
It did broke his heart that you looked so sad. But don’t worry he would be here for you as long as you need him
And you wouldn’t need anybody else.
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zoe-is-amazingg · 8 months
Text
Why can't you stop? Part 1 NSFW
Sociopath!Ethan Landry X Innocent reader
W/C - 1.0K
Summary - You've started to notice some recent changes in Ethans behavior towards you and he can't help but watch you from afar.
Warnings - Kissing, stalking, kind of pervy Ethan, almost bimbo Y/N and Female masturbation.
A/N - First part of the new series!!! if any of yall are looking for the last part of my other ethan series, that is coming soon.
*next part
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Ethan Landry, he's a guy that your friends with, you'd like to say that he's almost your best friend. But he would just say that your just friends.
He's sitting there, on his seat in the library, his head in his econ books. "Hey Ethan?" You smile at him. He looks up a little and then smiles back. "Hey, what's up?"
Ethan closes his books and smiles. "Can you help me with this bit?" You ask him. He grabs the book softly and gets a highlighter and starts to highlight important parts on the text your professor gave you both.
"This should help you; I think this is all the really important things." He hums, he slides the book back over to you and you read all the things he highlighted, and they actually helped you.
~Time skip~
It was two months after you both at the library and the whole group is at Tara's and something seems off about Ethan, he seems cold and distracted, like something was bothering him and he couldn't let it go.
"Eth?" You ask him with a soft voice. "Are you ok?" He swiftly moves his head to take a look at you and nods his head. You seem confused and want to get into this some more.
He seems quiet and you have no idea why or what's wrong. "Ethan, are you sure? You've been so quiet today and you seem all uncomfy, if anything is wrong, please tell me. I really want to know if you-"
You get cut off by him grabbing your chin and making you face him as he's looming over you on the couch. "Stop it. Ok? Stop this innocent act, I know about your mind and how dirty it is. I just know you touch yourself under the covers of your bed at night." He whispers.
You actually had no idea what he's talking about, but the way his face was almost inches from touching yours, you wanted to kiss him. "I-I don't know what you're talking about." You stutter lightly, you eyes fixated on his lips and your mind fixated on how you wanted to press yours against his.
"Yes, yes you do. You touch yourself, when no one else can see, don't you?" He asks in a rough whisper, his dark brown eyes bearing into yours. You shake your head, and he lets go of your chin and sits back down at his spot. "Search it up tonight, when you get home."
Tara comes in, drunk out of her mind and you smile a little at the woman now spread out on the couch. "How much did she have to drink?" You ask Chad.
"Not that much, I think she just took some molly." Chad explains and you don't want to ask what molly is, so you grab your stuff and say your goodbyes to everyone, even Ethan, who seems a little touchier after the interaction you had with him before almost mere moments ago.
"Where are you going?" Tara asks you, with a slight slur in her voice. You chuckle a little at the drunkenness on the couch and you explain to her you're going home.
"I'm going home, I'm pretty tired and I have econ almost first thing in the morning." You explain, you then walk out the door and leave. As you get to your apartment and Ethan is waiting at your door, you get confused. "H-How? I left before you."
"I know a short cut," He starts. He's playing with a knife in his hands, this didn't seem good to you. Your eyes flash between the knife and his eyes, really confused on what was happening. "Oh," He chuckles. "Don't worry, this is just a little toy thing."
He places the knife in his pocket, and he steps closer to you and cups your chin to force you to look at his eyes and nowhere else. "What are you going to do to me?" You ask him, your voice coming out terrified and in a whisper.
Ethan groans a little. "Don't say that." He orders, his eyes becoming darker. You nod your head a little and he presses his lips against yours, his kiss filled with lust and desire for more.
He grasps your waist and pulls his body closer to yours, the way your lips move together was heaven and it stopped as his phone rang. He pushes you away and then grabs his phone out of his other pocket, saying nothing as he left.
You walk into your house, lightly brushing your fingers against your lips as you placed your keys down. Ethan Landry just kissed you. But what happened before the kiss, why he was holding a knife, was terrifying for you to think enough of. You brain then remembers what he told you before, you grab your computer out and open the lid, opening the google search engine.
You search up 'women touching herself'. God, why were you doing this? You couldn't, but as soon as you hit enter, your eyes go wide. This is what Ethan thinks you do at night? Well, he was wrong, not even close, usually you would just watch something, fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.
And now that you think about it, how did you get to your bed?
As you click on a video, your curiosity taking over you, you can't help but just lower a hand down through your shorts and panties to the place where the woman on your screen also had their hands.
You start to follow their hand movements and move your fingers in a circular movement, shit, this felt good to you. And why did you hate it?
This felt so wrong, but so right at the same time, the feeling was slowly becoming overwhelming as you kept moving your fingers. You let out a whispered moan and your body started shaking. As you watch the video intently, you slowly came from an orgasm, moaning a little bit louder this time.
You slowly pull your fingers away from the spot of pleasure and realize what you have just done to yourself.
🎯 @idky5 and @nowitsmissing
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majeoeje · 1 month
Text
Counting days
Zuko x reader
I hope you never know how much i cried that day
"Just how long has it been??" You giggled as you twirled Zuko around in your arms. Something you had promised to do three years ago as you bid him goodbye.
Well much to his dismay at least.
"Only 3 years, 5 months and 4 days" he said, you could only laugh in response because you weren't actually expecting a definite answer
Zuko looked embarassed not knowing if he gave the right answer, his awkward demeanor still holds up even to this day making an odd sense of comfort wash over you seeing how some parts of him still remains the same.
You guessed it was 3 years, 2 months and 4 days ago that you bid him goodbye. It was before he set sail for his banishment to a search for the avatar, like it was just another short adventure, you smiled and greet him like it was just an ordinary day at the palace. Like it will be a short trip he'll have to endure not for long. How awfully positive you were being gave him a sense of hope that the nightmare he will go through would eventually come to an end.
Your encouragement only fueled the ambition in his heart to burn brighter.
And the light would dim in your eyes watching him go. He may not see himself as talented or gifted. He told you that hard work and effort had made him strong. Though he fails to notice how he was always your light without even trying.
You wished you yourself believed your own words you said to him.
Because much to his knowledge you broke down only minutes after he left.
"Well it felt longer than that..."
You reminiced, trying to take in the moment. You're here on a mission once again in inner rings of Ba Sing Se when you saw him. You thought you were hallucinating again but upon closer inspection, you were right.
It is him.
Zuko. The banished prince of the fire nation. The fugitive. The honorless coward...
...
..Your best friend.
The sentimentality of this moment bear weight heavier than you could ever hold. Though he knows you'd never admit that
"Really? Lee? You can't be more creative than that?" you try to tease him once more
"So? There's thousands of Lees here in Ba Sing Se"
"You look more like a Chen to me"
"Well you're 4 weeks too late to tell me that" he rolled his eyes, looking away slightly. But not enough to hide the smile that had adorned his face
It was more than meaningful to see him smile once more.
You thought after being scarred so horribly by his father. It would took you mountains of blood sweat and tears to see the corners of his lips turn upwards once more. But Zuko always proves you wrong
Because what you didn't realize and never would, you could always make him smile with just existing.
The chilling air blowed past the two of you, signalling for him to bring you somewhere else.
He took your hand leading you somewhere
"Come on, you have to meet uncle now that you're here"
"Did you and uncle Iroh actually opened a teashop??" You perked up, curious at the smell of jasmine tea that lingered from Zuko's apron.
You could always tell that it was one of uncle Iroh's dream to open his own teashop seeing how critical he always of every cup of tea you served to him. Saying how "every tea is to be brewed with perfection" Making those tea lectures that he would go on about much more yawning. But still, you always appreciate it knowing how those tea brewing lessons were how he kept you company in your visits everytime zuko's not around.
"I don't think it's that surprising"
Zuko then went on a rant on how some men who came in their previous workplace just started offering a job, a building AND an apartment in the inner rings of Ba Sing Se to uncle Iroh
The whole situation would only bring you to giggle at how silly it was. Silly, but a blessing nonetheless.
One thing of note was something has tremondously changed in Zuko, was it his more positive outlook? Or was it his more carefree demeanor. Lacking of the boiling desire to prove himself. Perhaps he has truly let go the way of only pleasing his father and just live?
It does bring contentment. But you can't help but feel sorrow washing you away. Because now you guessed he won't feel the need to come back. Come back home to his country....His rightful place as the heir to the thrown.....His coldblooded father.....His dead silent home...
Or perhaps you just wanted him to come back to you.
You were remembered the days at the palace where he'd eagerly lead you to take a look at something he had took intrest to. Whether it was baby turtleducks, a new gift by uncle Iroh or even a new firebending move he learnt.
"Heyyyy, slow down!" You'd whine, feeling him tug at your hand as he ran
"Come on! We're almost there." He'd say, you were always a little out of breath trying to catch up to him as his grip on your hand never faltered.
These detour wouldn't last long however knowing how people would look for him, cutting your moments short. But you never minded. No mattrr how frequent or how short these little quest last. You were just so happy being with him.
Though as you grew up you noticed these little detour would only lessen as years passed. It was understandable really you two were growing up after all and it wouldn't be appropriate for the prince of the fire nation to be holding hands with his childhood friend to show them daily mundane things.
And you yourself were far too prideful to ask him to do it again so you cherish the memories you already had in your heart.
Still.. you never thought you'd miss how the warm skin of his palm would brush again yours. The question along the lines of 'how long has it been' would echo once more in your head, feeling how rough his hand were now....Different to the smooth small hands of little Zuko.
But the warmth still remained the same.
You bit your lip and stayed silent hoping he doesn't notice the tears that was pooling in your eyes, blurring your vision as you heard him rant about his uncle's new teashop filling in the silence.
The cold air of the inner ring of Ba Sing Se suddenly felt warmer. The illuminated night was engulfed in a glaze of sunset hues as your steps on the concrete streets of Ba Sing Se would ring a sound akin to a smooth tiled floor
It was as if you were back at that damned palace again..
It's as if you were kids all over again.
Though this time you didn't have to worry about catching up to Zuko's pace.
(A/N:not an exact timeline bc i was too lazy to do research)
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riseofamoonycake · 4 months
Note
Can I ask for Choso, Noritoshi and Kashimo with a big breasted reader?
I SAY YES.
JJK MEN WITH A BIG BREASTED READER
With: Choso, Noritoshi Kamo, Kashimo Hajime
Warnings: NSFW content
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Choso
The first time Choso meets you, he doesn't understand why he is so intensely attracted to you. You are beautiful and you have sweet, kind and maternal ways, yet it is impossible to explain why that rush of warmth every time he looks at you, why his voice always has to lower and he can't help but blush… really, he doesn't understand.
Then, one of these times, you involuntarily (or not?) rub your breast against him, and the pure animal instinct awakens in him; he can't help but look at your chest, and blush terribly. He begins to sweat and at the same time turns pale, while everything becomes terribly clear
Well yes, your breasts excites him like crazy
And it takes all of his self-control not to grab it and squeeze it or bite it on the spot
As time passes, he believes that things get better, that the sensation passes; but no. In fact… the more you get to know each other, the more his thoughts about everything he would like to do to your tits increase. Of course with your consent, this is not even questioned!
Finally, he can no longer hold back and openly tells you, with embarrassment and shyness but complete honesty, how much he wants to be literally buried by your chest and suffocated by it
"If you don't want, well… at least a kiss? Can I kiss it? Please?"
From the moment you give him permission to play with it, the breast is no longer yours. It is his, because in every good moment his hands and mouth venerate it without respite
Goodbye shirts, goodbye sweaters, they can't last long on you with Choso around
Your entire chest bears the marks of his kisses and bites, especially on the nipples and in the middle of the breasts, where the skin is so soft that he literally no longer understands anything
He can literally make you cum repeatedly by how much attention he gives it: the foreplays are looooong, and intense. They can last hours
Burying his face in your breast and rubbing his nose against it is a stress reliever for him, and it can happen that he falls asleep like this
Lactation kink all over.
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Noritoshi Kamo
If there is one thing that intimidates him, well, it is your breasts. Even if he will never admit it, not even under torture, he can't help but stare at your chest with respect and admiration, as if he were in front of something sacred. Well, for him it is.
Super respectful, even though every time he looks at you his eyes can't help but fall on it
And that is why he thinks several times before agreeing to do anything that involves being close to you or in contact with your body
But when he then accepts, well…
Noritoshi is always a gentleman and when he reveals the way your breasts attract him, he does it without a hint of vulgarity. And as much as he blushes, he says it in the most open and direct way possible
This also applies when you start the relationship: his hands are slightly hesitant when they caress your chest for the first time, they slide gently over the curves of your breasts, between them, underneath, on your areolas, they gently squeeze your nipples. And then, finally, they leave room for the tongue and teeth
Another one who makes foreplays last a long time, before deciding to move from your chest to another spot, Noritoshi makes you feel the full force of his adoration in the most impactful ways possible. Literally.
Every morning, expect to be awakened by kisses on the tips of your nipples or the gentle pressure of his teeth closing on them
Your breasts remind him so much of his mother's, and at this point there is nothing that can stop him anymore, he would spend his life with his head resting on it, rubbing his chin on it while he stares at you
His gifts are, very often, clothes that emphasize your chest and enhance it. But he prefers to be the only one to see them, especially when you do a private show…
Well, there you have very little hope of avoiding a memorable evening and conserving the energy you have. Very few.
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Kashimo Hajime
Kashimo starts teasing you the first time he sees you, and doesn't stop until he has completely won over you. He seems detached, but instead…
Instead, he is more than interested in the shape of your chest, which he doesn't hide at all and in fact reveals to you whenever he can
And yet, he only touches you when he is sure of your consent, because there is no fun in doing something without your wanting it.
Sadistic and implacable when it comes to your breasts, especially with his hands: he undoes buttons and lifts up shirts, sticks his fingers under them, squeezes as much as he can and pinches, especially if you find yourself in a situation where you have to control your voice (in public or on an important occasion)
And in intimacy he is even less contained: your breast is his battlefield, he covers it with bites, licks and caresses it forcefully, trying to contain it all in his hands and stimulating you continuously, with the aim of making you scream as much as possible
Try to keep him away from it and he starts screaming and yelling like a demon
If you like pain, Kashimo is more than willing to give you little shocks, especially on the nipples. But only if you like it
Licking your nipples is his favorite hobby. His long tongue curls around them and passes them over and over, and the more you squirm and moan, the more he continues
More than once he complains that you only have two breasts.
All of them: tits job goes brrrrr
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hellcat8908 · 3 months
Text
I Didn't Know Azriel x Female Reader
WARNINGS: ANGST, ILLUSION TO ASSAULT (NOT AZRIEL), ASSHAT AZRIEL, LANGUAGE
You were alone in your apartment crying for the third day. A soft knock sounded on the door before Feyre's voice filtered through, "I was wondering if you'd like to join me at the studio and help with some classes." You ignore her as you had everyone else. She knocks again, "we're really worried about you. You haven't left the house, none of us know when the last time you ate or drank anything. Please, y/n. We just want to help." She says before the sound of glass shattering against the door filled the silent room. "Guess I'll check on you tomorrow." She says before walking away and leaving you to your misery.
They're his family. In the end, they'll always choose him over you. You can't even be mad about it because they were his first, and you'd already caused him enough pain. The sooner you left the night court, the better off everyone would be. You just hated being away from him. You hated keeping your secret but couldn't bear how things would change if he knew the truth. He'd see you as weak and pathetic if he knew the real reason you didn't show up the other night. You'd rather let him think whatever he wanted because no matter, you believed it to be better than the truth.
His words cut deep when you wouldn't explain your absence, and he hadn't tried to reach out since. You didn't want to know how he was doing because you couldn't bear living in two hells at once. You hadn't left the house, and you barely functioned. Cassian had left food for you, which you had taken a few bites of after he left. He was the only other one to know the truth, a secret he's forced to keep thanks to the tattoo hidden within his others. The only reason he knows is because he's the one who found you. He took you home as you begged him not to tell anyone. He told you to worry about it after getting cleaned up.
You refused to let Cassian help you unless the deal was struck that he wouldn't reveal your secret under any conditions or through any loop holes. Once he agreed you let him stitch you up. Shortly after he left Azriel pounding at your door. You glamoured yourself to hide your injuries before opening the door. "Where have you been? We had dinner reservations and you never showed!" He practically growls. "I know, Az. I'm sorry, something came up." You say softly. "That's it? That's all you've got to say?!" He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. "I waited like a fool and all you give me is something came up?! You know what maybe it's for the best you didn't show up. You may have saved me from making the biggest mistake of my life tonight!" He shouts tossing a black velvet box on the ground at your door. "Goodbye, y/n." He sneers before taking off in a fit of rage and pain, leaving you brokenhearted at the door.
Once he was out of sight you picked up the ring box and set it on the table inside the door. After locking the door you sank to the floor and fell apart. Broken sobs racking your body as you felt truly alone for the first time with nobody to blame but yourself. As the two days passed you barely ate and drank except for small bites from the food Cass delivered. You became numb to everything around you as you checked out, emotionally and mentally. Crying hysterically and forcing yourself to survive the panic attacks. You cried until you had no more tears left to cry.
Another knock at the door brings you back to the present. "Y/n, open up." It was Cassian. "I know you're in there and we need to talk." He says. "Go away." You say, your voice hoarse from screaming and crying. "I'm not going away and I'm not above breaking into your apartment." He says sternly. You walk over and flip the lock before laying back down on the couch. Cassian enters carrying a bag from the café down the street. He puts it on the coffee table in front of you. "Eat." He says. You ignore him. "I did not stitch you up just to watch you kill yourself! Now eat!" He commands. "I'm not one of your soldiers." You say, glaring at him. "Be thankful you're not. You're my friend and I hate seeing you like this." He says gesturing to you.
His words hit a soft spot and you reach into the bag and pull out a container of chicken noodle soup. "Thank you." He says softer after you eat your first spoonful. "You need to tell Azriel what really happened for both your sakes. You need to unburden yourself of this secret and stop letting him think the absolute worst." Cassian says. "Easy for you to say." You retort. "No, it's not easy for me to say, I know you're hurting and your so fucked up mentally and emotionally right now. I know this isn't easy on you because its clear as day how much your hurting. If other's knew, if you had someone to talk to I think it would help." He says. "He hates me. I broke his heart and he hates me." You say as tears fill your eyes.
"He doesn't hate you. He just wants answers, answers only you can give him." Cass says trying to reassure you. "Cass, look on the table, he made it clear how much he hates me that night. He told me I saved him from making the biggest mistake of his life before tossing that on the ground." You say through sobs as you relive the moment. "He isn't coming back and nothing is going to change that. He's better off without me. He's already suffered enough and anything is better than the truth. I release you from the bargain, it was wrong of me to make you agree to it and I've been a shitty enough person already." You say before locking yourself in the bedroom as you fall apart all over again until you cry yourself to sleep.
You awake to the sound of someone pounding on the door. Looking at the clock its 3 in the morning. Half asleep you answer the door, surprised to see Azriel standing there. You swing the door open wider before walking towards the kitchen and putting a kettle on for tea. "It's on the table, grab it and go. I know you hate me so I won't stop you." You say emotionless. "What? You think I'm here for the ring?" He asks. "Yes, figured you'd be back to get it so you can get your money back." "To hell with the ring! Y/n, is it true?" Your shoulders sag and your heart sinks. Of course Cassian told him right away. "Yes." You say as you grab a tea bag from the container. You hear glass shatter knowing if this keeps up you'll need new dishware. You turn and see the shattered cup on the floor and the contents dripping on the wall.
"I'm sorry, shit. I'll replace it." Azriel says quickly realizing what he did. "Don't worry about it." You say turning back to your tea. "Don't do that." Azriel says as you feel him behind you. "Don't pretend with me, please." He says following you into the living room. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks directly, his tone soft. "I couldn't." You answer. "Why, y/n?" He pushes. Your hands start to shake forcing you to put down your tea. "Because I couldn't bear the thought of you thinking I'm weak and pathetic to allow something like that to happen. I couldn't stand the thought of you looking at me differently. You've been through so much already I didn't want to drag you through this. For me it was easier to let you believe whatever you wanted, whatever you felt like was the reason behind me not showing up."
"So you'd rather let me think the absolute worst of you than tell me the truth?! That some bastard thought he had the right to do what he did to you?!" He grits through his teeth before remembering to take a few deep breaths to calm down. "I understand why you didn't tell me but I wish you would've. If I had known, I never would've said what I did that night. I ended up making the biggest mistake in my life that night by not giving you the benefit of the doubt and seeing how upset and hurt you were. Instead, I only added to your pain with my hateful words and actions. I truly am sorry for the added pain and suffering I caused you. I hope one day you can forgive me and we can rebuild our relationship." He says, his hands craving to reach out and feel you.
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velocesainz · 2 months
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Hiiiiiii would you want to do
Childhood bsf Annabeth chase x Apollo reader who is dying of an illness that can't be cured , only Luke and reader know about it and reader refuses to tell anyone else, wanting Annabeth not to worry thinking that reader just gets sick often.
When Annabeth leaves for a quest when reader's sicker then normal only to come back and reader is gone only leaving a sentimental gift to both Luke and her behind with a letter saying goodbye and sorry something like that ?
She/her or they/them please do tell if you cannot write this
I love this request, thank you so much!
Summary: reader is dying of a terminal disease and nobody knows except Luke. Annabeth sees that reader is getting sick but doesn’t think much of it but realised when it’s too late
Warnings: very sad, angstyyy, mentions of death
Pairing: Annabeth Chase (platonic) x Apollo! Fem! Reader, Luke castellan (platonic) x Apollo! Fem! Reader
A/n: this might be the saddest thing I’ve ever written and I’m here for it. Make sure to request!
Percy jackson masterlist | Main masterlist
Improper Goodbyes
Reader pov:
I was in the bathroom in the apollo cabin spewing my guts out into the bowl along with blood. I found out I had cancer a few days ago since father had sent me a letter (I am the favourite child).
I was just sitting on the floor thinking about how I was just going to disappear. I felt relief but also was overwhelmed by the faces of all my siblings and friends especially Annabeth, my best friend since the day I was born.
I was sitting there thinking about all the good times I had at camp when the door burst open revealing Luke, my other best friend.
“Hey y/n I was thinking about heading out to pick some strawber- what happened?” Luke asked incredibly worried seeing the blood in toilet bowl.
I didn’t want to tell him but he deserved to know. As one of um closest friends he deserved to know what was wrong with me.
“I-I have cancer Luke. Leukaemia stage 3. Incurable” I told as I saw his face drop with every word I said
“H-H-How long do you have left?” He asked me and I could see tears springing into his eyes
“6 months maximum. I’m sorry Luke” I told him and looked away, I couldn’t bear to see Luke crying
“We’re going to make these 6 months the best you’ve ever experienced. Let me just tell ever-“
“No Luke. You’re not telling a single soul about this.” I cut him off
I looked back at him and he gave me a sad smile. He was upset that I wouldn’t let him tell anyone but he also wanted to respect my wishes.
“Alright then. But if Annabeth finds out and tells the rest of the camp don’t blame me! Now come on, we have memories to make” Luke said as he dragged me out of the Apollo cabin
Timeskip:
I was talking to Annabeth by the fire when I felt nauseous again. This is the 5th this happened today and Annabeth seemed to be catching on slowly
“Hey y/n are you alright? You seem to be extremely pale and sickly looking recently” Annabeth asked me
“Yea I’m fine, just been a little under the weather recently” I lied through my teeth
“Nothing a little ambrosia can’t fix! I’ll go get some for you right now” Annabeth said as she got up but I pulled her right back down
“There’s no need for that Annabeth. I have some back in the cabin, I’ll drink it before going to bed don’t worry about me” I tried reassuring her but she didn’t really seem to buy it
Annabeth pov:
Why was y/n acting so weird? It’s weird enough that she’s been sick for so long and in top of that she refuses to take ambrosia even though she takes it multiple times a day when she is sick.
Am I missing something here?
No Annabeth, you’re overthinking it. She’s a child of Apollo, she can take care of herself.
“Annabeth, Percy and Grover please join me up front here” Chiron called out probably to inform us of another quest.
I was really getting fed up of being dragged by Percy everywhere for his troubles and quests. I wanted to spend more time with the others at camp.
I want to take care of y/n like how she took care of me.
I rarely even see her anymore since she’s mostly just locked in her cabin or I’m on a quest with seaweed brain.
I don’t know how much more I can take of this. I hope this ends soon.
Timeskip:
I was packing up for the quest and just as we were about to leave y/n came up to me along with Luke .
“Can I hug you? I really want to get a hug from you before you leave for another long quest” she also mumbled something at the end about this being her last hug or something but I didn’t pay much attention to that.
“Of course honey! You don’t even need to ask, you know I absolutely adore your hugs” I said as I hugged her.
I then realised how much thinner she had gotten. I could feel the bones in her back as I hugged her.
I again didn’t pay attention to it because some people here at half-blood have had really bad flu and other diseases but have always recovered from it.
But this time felt different. I felt a strong twine in my gut. Something was wrong.
Probably in the quest. That always happens.
Y/n pov:
I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker day by day and I knew my last few moments were drawing closer.
I started writing letters to the ones I cared most about and also gave all my stuff away leaving only the sentimental pieces for the ones who mattered the most to me
It hurt to let go of this beautiful place but our fates have been decided and there is nothing we can do to change it.
As I laid on my death bed surrounded by my cabin mates and Luke they told me how much I meant to them and how much they will miss me.
I couldn’t focus on that however. I just wished Annabeth was here with me. I wanted to say a proper goodbye but she wasn’t here.
I felt my eyelids grow heavier and heavier. I could barely speak but I had to tell Luke what I wanted to say to Annabeth.
“Luke tell Annabeth that she was the most amazing friend I could ever ask for and also give her this” I told told him as I gave him a letter that I had addressed to Annabeth.
Luke pov:
I couldn’t believe it. My best friend was dead and her last wish to see her childhood best friend couldn’t be fulfilled.
I felt grief sadness and guilt overcome me as I feel to my knees next to her body.
The only person who truly understood me was dead. How was I to move on?
I walked with heavy steps to my cabin and I saw her ring on my bed with a letter.
That ring meant to much to her. It was given by her mother and it contained the most beautiful sapphire I had ever seen.
She never let anyone touch it since it meant so much to her. I guess I meant just as much to her as this ring.
I looked at the contents in my hand. Annabeth’s letter along with a small box.
If only Annabeth was here. Y/n would’ve passed away surrounded by all of whom she loved.
Annabeth pov:
I returned to camp after the quest but that feeling never went away.
Everyone at camp looked grim and depressed, especially the Apollo kids and Luke.
I tried to look around for y/n but I couldn’t fine her anywhere.
Luke came up to me and handed me a letter and a small blue velvet box.
“Y/n wanted you to have this. It was her last and only wish” Luke said with a coarse and scratchy voice. It sounded like he had cried for hours.
“What do you mean last and only wish? Is y/n ok? What happened to her?” I asked Luke hoping to find some answers but he just gave me a sad look.
“Read the letter. You’ll understand everything” he told me and left
I hurriedly opened the letter and read what was written:
Dear Annabeth,
I hope I was able to give this to you in person but if not then so be it. You have been my best friend for over 10 years at this point and our friendship was the most cherished thing I ever had. You made me laugh, think, enjoy life and many more things. I’m sorry we couldn’t grow old together like we said we would but just know I’ll always be supporting you along the way. I have stage 4 leukaemia and it is incurable. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier but I didn’t want to worry you. This is getting really long but I just wanted to let you know that you were the best thing in my life and I will always be with you in your heart. Please don’t grieve over me. I love you.
Your best friend,
Y/n
Tears pooled in my eyes as I continued reading the letter. After I finished I opened the small box which had her necklace inside it.
Her most prized possession.
It was given by her father. A bow and arrow pendant with the most beautiful diamond I had ever seen. She wouldn’t even let people see it forget touching it.
How was I to live without my best friend? I can’t be without her.
Why are the gods so cruel? Why did they have to take her away?
I broke down in the middle of the field crying.
Everyone passing by gave me sad looks and walked away knowing I’d want to be left alone.
My best friend was dead. My sister. My lifeline. My support and my soul had been ripped away from me.
All she wanted was to see me before she died and I couldn’t even do that. What kind of a friend was I?
She was gone and there was nothing I could do to bring her back.
A/n: Let me know your guys feedback on this and let me know what other people/genres you want me to write about! Requests are open. Kissies ✨
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