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skeletinmoss · 4 days

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The curse of the dark Phoenix

Chapter 6: Healing words

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“That was pretty intense. I never saw you do anything like it,” Roman stated after walking a while. Virgil had taken to the sky again to scout the path ahead.

“I would guess that you let your guide show you something?” Logan wondered as they followed a creek.

“Yeah, something like that. I just, sent my magic into the ground to make the plants there grow and have control over how they grew. You remember we learned some spells that could expedite the growing process back in our first year of wizarding school?” Patton asked.

The duo nodded.

“It was that. But much stronger,” Patton stated looking at his paws thoughtfully.

“But you need several herbs to guide that process,” Logan argued.

“All of which grow or have grown in that meadow… The Jackalope told me that the earth never forgets,” Patton explained.

Roman nodded thoughtfully. That made a strange sort of sense to him.

Logan just hummed thoughtfully. Was he thinking of whatever piece of wisdom his guide had given him during his dream?

“We should be coming up on the road soon,” he stated. “Once there we should look for a place to eat and regroup,” he mused.

That sounded pretty great to Roman actually.

As Logan said they came upon a road not long after. It wasn’t a main road or anything. It looked like a path between villages that the locals knew off but wasn’t often used by anyone else.

A caw drew their attention to the sky, Virgil was circling above them and just the sight of that tugged at Roman’s heart.

Once he was sure they had seen him Virgil continued down the path. Doubling back every once in a while to make sure they were still following. It made Roman a bit happy that he wasn’t taking off on his own after realizing how much time he was losing letting them tag along.

A bit later they found him sitting at a bit of a clearing on the side of the road. A good place to stop for some food.

Without a word they all settled down and once again shared some of their provisions with Virgil.

“We should try and gather some more food in the village up ahead. We only packed for two days,” Logan pointed out. “It looks to be a farming community as far as I can tell on the map,” he added.

“Good idea,” Roman agreed.

“Especially since we have an extra mouth to feed,” Patton added gesturing towards Virgil who was enjoying his meal.

Logan handed Roman the map. “It is pretty straight forward, but I won’t be able to read the journals and the map at the same time,” he explained. Roman nodded and studied their route. There were a handful of forks in the road he’d have to keep an eye out for. But it was indeed not a complicated route to follow.

“Alright,” Roman agreed.

“Good,” Logan said as he paged through the first journal. “Like Virgil said it seems encrypted. The words are all scrambled… I’ll try and meditate on them while we continue,” he informed them as he finished his lunch and started reading, a faint blue glow in his eyes as they drifted over the page.

Virgil let out an approving squawk.

Roman took in a deep breath. Time to be a leader he supposed.

He got up and looked at Patton. “Pat, can you help make sure Lo doesn’t trip on the way. I’ll look out for loose rocks and stuff but just in case I miss something or he does something I didn’t expect,” Roman asked. Patton nodded determinedly and helped Logan up, their friend didn’t even look up from the page.

“Let’s go, High Mage Virgil? Do you want to ride on my shoulder again or would you rather stretch your wings?” Roman asked. Virgil looked at him for a long moment and then took off to the sky.

That answered that question.

Roman readjusted his backpack and looked at the map. “I think it’s maybe an hour or two till we reach the village,” he stated as he started walking.

Virgil scouted the road ahead of them once again and kept doubling back every once in a while, maybe to check if they were still on the right track or because he could make it to the village and back many times over while they were stuck walking.

Flying sure looked great…

Roman decided not to let his thoughts wander too far down that road as he had to focus on the one he was walking on.

Virgil looked magnificent though. Both as a bird and a man… And he was kind, even when he was firm. He was gentle, even if he was powerful. Roman couldn’t help but wonder what he’d be like once he had his friends around and everything had settled down.

During the time they spent walking and talking with him as a human, Roman had gotten more familiar with their connection. It felt dulled now that Virgil was flying off, but he could feel it strengthen before he came back in sight.

And as they had walked earlier, a thought occurred to Roman. Virgil, for as casual as he had been acting, had his guard up. So what was he like when he was relaxed and comfortable?

He was pulled out of his musings by feeling Virgil approach.

“Um, this way,” he told Patton when he realized they’d come up in the first fork in the road while he was daydreaming about amethyst eyes staring into his soul.

“How’s it going Lo?” Patton asked.

“I broke through the magic seal, but it’s still cryptic… Listen to this:

The flame of night is blinding. Rivers of raven flow as he dances. Amethyst jewels full of wit. How I wish to be the subject of their query,” Logan read.

“That sounds sweet,” Patton said.

“I’d say a love poem of sorts. And I’d guess the subject of said poem is also known,” Logan mused as he glanced up to Virgil making a turn above them before heading back in the direction of their next stop.

Roman nodded. He’d have to agree. That explained a lot. If the poor man had a crush on the High Mage of the Night Flame then he might have found himself struggling to express those feelings and even lashed out in attempts to be noticed.

“Roman… If we find the Arch Mage… If he’s alive like Virgil and his friends… He might pursue him. From what I can gather, he was working on a cure for Virgil’s curse before setting him free and rather determined not to lose his chance again…” Logan warned.

Roman didn’t reply right away.

“Roman, I can see that the High Mage has your interest. Just be careful… He might choose an old friend over someone whose parents weren’t even born when he last walked these roads. Living as long as he has… He’ll have little in common with you.” Logan was trying to protect him.

“You may be right. But he also made it clear that he had no interest in the Arch Mage. So no matter what his excellency’s hopes were, Virgil might verry well still turn him down. As for any interest I have… Well, if it becomes serious I doubt I’d be able to hide that from him… He hasn’t seen the need to turn me down yet,” Roman insisted.

Logan sighed and turned his attention back to the journal, searching the pages for a clue.

Roman focused back on the road. Reminding himself that Virgil would feel it if his appreciation for his better qualities shifted to something more than just platonic queerness.

He hadn’t commented too much on Roman’s feelings in general unless it was relevant to the conversation, but that didn’t mean that he was unaware. Just that he was nice enough not to embarrass him. Roman was a bit worried what Virgil might tell him if they have a moment to talk among each other though.

He might not think that Virgil was even remotely interested in a romantic relation with the Arch Mage. He would have noticed if there was any kind of positive feeling attached to his memory during their talk. He was pretty sure he could feel Virgil’s fondness and worry for his friends when he talked about them.

But just because Virgil wasn’t interested in the Arch Mage, didn’t mean Roman stood a chance with him. Again. He was pretty sure he’d have noticed if he did.

That didn’t matter though. Virgil’s friends needed help. The whole kingdom would be better off if they were freed from their prison (if they were indeed imprisoned like Virgil was and not dead as Roman still feared). Not to mention their own improved chances of completing their quest with the help of three high mages.

Roman looked up as he felt Virgil approach once more. This time he dove down and landed on Roman’s shoulder.

“I’m guessing we’re getting close,” Roman concluded, checking the map. Indeed they just passed the last crossing, the village should be just around the bend.

As the end of the trail revealed itself Roman became aware of an excited bustling in the distance.

It was like their visit to the town coincided with some kind of festivities.

As they saw the first houses they also saw a small crowd gathered in some type of square.

They were cheering.

A few children ran ahead to meet them halfway in their excitement. From their babbling Roman understood that they were interested in Virgil mostly.

“It would seem the locals have spotted Virgil scouting ahead,” Logan concluded as he closed the journal he’d been reading.

“I think you might be right Lo,” Roman chuckled.

Virgil shifted on his shoulders and let out a warning caw to the children. He wasn’t angry, but cautious of their grabbing hands. Roman assumed he was worried for his tail feathers.

The children let out excited squeals and ran back to their parents who were seemingly trying to hold back on charging at the group as well.

“Greetings!” Roman called out as they finally made it to the welcoming comity.

Much to his surprise and embarrassment they all bowed to him.

“Noble wizards, we are overjoyed at the good fortune that brought you to our village. When we saw the phoenix in the sky we knew our luck was at last changing,” the eldest of the group stated.

The trio glanced at Virgil who righted himself, he looked very regal and put together. Like he was trying to say “of course I am a good omen”. But Roman sensed his nerves and remembered that Virgil mentioned that he wouldn’t be able to be much help magic wise while in this form.

He might know how to help these people but he wouldn’t be able to do so until the sun went down and they didn’t have time for that.

Roman turned to the elderly man who’d greeted them. “What seems to be the problem?” he asked. They wouldn’t know if they could help unless they asked.

“When I was a child, every few years a high mage would visit and bless the land so it could withstand the harsh winters for the coming years and would reject any illness that might take our harvest. But after the plague took them… We haven’t had a plentiful harvest like the ones in my youth in forty years. The king, praise be his mercy, has always been understanding of the struggles, but the past cycles winters have been especially rough for us. Last winter was a bit kinder and we were hoping to finally have a good harvest once more, but then, a blight has taken our crops. Please, if this is not resolved, we won’t simply not have enough food to pay our full dues to the kingdom we will not have any food to eat,” the man said.

Roman’s heart broke for these people. Virgil likely would know exactly what his fellow mage did all those years ago. He’d probably say it’s not even that hard. But Roman had no clue how to ‘bless the land’…

He felt a sharp pull on his hair. “Ow!” he exclaimed turning to Virgil with a scowl. Virgil stared back at him. And he felt both scolded and encouraged at the same time. Like Virgil was both reprimanding him for getting in his own head like that and telling him that he could do this… Well. If Virgil said so. His advice had helped Patton.

“Show me the lands,” Roman stated.

A cheer went through the crowd. And he and his friends were ushered towards the fields.

When they laid eyes on the state of them Roman could hear Patton make a heartbroken gasp.

His friend had grown up on a farm just outside their home town, Roman had visited often so he too was familiar with the faces of farmland. But not as familiar as Patton. So if Roman could see the crops were struggling this had to look devastating to Patton.

“Oh my,” Logan breathed. He too could see that the tomatoes shouldn’t look like that.

Roman could feel all eyes on him. All those people were counting on him…

Roman felt a sharp squeeze in his shoulder. Virgil.

It felt reassuring. A promise. He’d help how he could, but it was mostly up to Roman.

Okay… The herbalist knelt on the ground and placed his hands down.

He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Trying to meditate. Focusing on the flame in his heart that had to be his tie to his magical guide.

He needed help.

In his dream he’d been flying. Following his guide through the sky. And at some point they were so high that Roman couldn’t see the houses or the trees anymore. All just seemed like one big mass. A blanket of living things.

Life is life, whether it is a flower or a human. He remembered thinking.

And his studies of medicine and diagnostic magic had taught him how to find what was harming that life. He had learned to heal a body. What was so different between a fungus that attacked a plant from one that attacked a human?

“What ails you my friend?” he asked the earth and it felt like his flame spread from his heart to his shoulders to his arms down to his fingertips and into the earth.

And for a moment it was like he Was the plants growing in those fields and he knew exactly what they needed. Not only that. He found that what Patton said about the earth remembering was right on a whole new level. The earth remembered not just all that ever grew here, it remembered the spells that used to help it thrive even if the odds were stacked against it.

Roman got up and dug into his bag. He seemed to have most of what he needed.

“I can heal this harvest and attempt to do the blessing. I’ve never done either before so it might not be as good as it was, but next year’s harvest should be better than previous years in any case,” Roman muttered. Ignoring the excited murmuring he pulled out his ingredients. And then turned to Virgil’s bag. And then he hesitated. Not because he wasn’t sure if Virgil was okay with him digging into it, but because what he needed was a moon flower. A level four.

He set his jaw. These people needed him. He’d deal with the repercussions later.

He'd have to act fast though. If Logan and Patton realized what he’d taken from Virgil’s supplies they might try to stop him from doing something admittedly stupid and impulsive.

He could feel Virgil squeeze his shoulder again. A reminder that he wouldn’t do this alone.

Roman nodded, took a final, deep breath and pulled out the moonflower to add it to the other herbs clutched into his palm. He imagined his fire reaching through his right arm and feeding on the ingredients, and as he felt their essence fuel his magic he reached out his hand and traced a sigil in the air he’d ordinary use to treat malnourishment, then one to treat infections, one to revitalize after being undercooled. And on a whim a bug repelling charm he normally use to keep his slumbers mosquito free.

On every sigil Virgil let out a mighty cry and Roman could feel his magic joining forces with his own, but it didn’t feel like he was taking over. Roman felt like his own magic was taking the lead, Virgil’s was just giving him a boost. And some boost it was. Roman could feel the spell cover far more land than just the plot in front of him.

Something that should have exhausted him, he was sure, but he felt fine.

He heard shouts of joy and people who started sobbing in relief. He opened his eyes and he was taken aback by awe. He’d done it. Somehow he’d not only cured the blight but the plants looked like they’d made a full recovery already. As though they’d had weeks of sufficient sun and rain and fertilizer.

He looked at his hands in awe. The shriveled up remains of the herbs, including the Moonflower fell to the ground harmlessly. That… He’d expected it to feel different. For the Mana of the flower to give him trouble… But it was no different than any other plant…

Was it because of Virgil’s aid? Or was it something gradual? Like one time didn’t do any damage but do it a lot of times and then the symptoms start?

Suddenly he was pulled out of his musings by someone embracing him, resting their head into his chest. “Thank you, thank you! You saved us,” they sobbed.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve been able to bless the lands to ensure a good harvest for more than just this year, but I’m glad I could help this much,” Roman allowed.

The farmer let go and then rushed off to celebrate with their friends and families. Others had ran off to see if the blessing had reached the plots out of sight as well.

“It was truly wonderful to see such magic once more,” the elder stated as he approached.

“This mage you remembered, was his arrival announced by a phoenix as well?” Logan asked.

Oh good point. Had Virgil been the one to bless the lands in the past…?

“No, no. But magical creatures are usually a good sign. I remember chasing a multi tailed fox through the fields when I was young whenever the mage came to visit,” the elder recalled.

Roman could feel a sense of fond recognition. Virgil had known this mage and seemed on good terms with them.

The kitsune was likely their guide.

“I see…” Logan nodded thoughtfully.

“We owe you much. Please stay, we will be happy to throw a feast in your honor,” the elder offered.

“Oh no! No we couldn’t. You shouldn’t waste your harvest on us,” Patton insisted.

“We indeed must be on our way. We have a long journey ahead. But we could do with some supplies for the road,” Logan offered. The elder bowed and not half an hour later they were

gifted not just food but also two horses. Roman took one and Patton and Logan shared another. Right after they managed to reassure it that despite his claws Patton would not harm it.

Not long after that, the village disappeared out of sight and they continued their journey. Roman had seen that Virgil had marked a certain spot with an ‘x’. Some place to set up camp? From the looks of it it would be getting late when they arrived.

“No word from the council?” Logan wondered.

Roman shook his head. He’d been a bit surprised by that himself. He’d been sure the council would have contacted him right after being made aware of their progress to interrogate him on the details after his vague message.

“Maybe they are talking things over? They tend to take a while to decide things,” Patton argued.

That was true. Their request to find out what happened to the Arch Mage was made when the trio became Wizards. And that was about ten years ago now.

On Roman’s shoulder, Virgil became restless. The sun was setting.

Not much later, there was a bright light behind him and then Roman felt two arms encircle his waist and he was trying very hard to be normal about it.

“Why don’t you put those claws away? I mean I know they look bad ass, but right now they are spooking the horse,” Virgil mused.

“Um… I can’t. It’s a little keepsake from my first and last attempt at shifting,” Patton chuckled embarrassedly.

Roman could feel Virgil’s skepticism. “Close your eyes,” he instructed.

Maybe it was because his advice had been helpful so far, maybe it just wasn’t in Patton’s nature to mistrust. But he did as he was told.

“Okay let your magic flow like you did for a transformation. Focus your energy. You are a human. You have a human head with human eyes, human ears, a human nose and human teeth in a human mouth. You have a human neck and human shoulders. Human upper arms and you know your elbows are human too. So you have human forearms and human wrists and human palms and a human pinky. A human ring finger. A human middle finger. A human index finger and a human thumb. And humans don’t have claws or fur do they?”

Virgil’s base was so soothing , Roman felt his own body tingle under his guidance. And when he glanced over to Patton and Logan he caught the later staring down in shock at the now human arms encircling his waist for support.

Patton’s eyes fluttered open and he wiggled his fingers. “Oh… Oh my…”

Patton leaned back and held one hand in front of his face, a little teary eyed.

“They are back to normal! Oh, mom will be so happy!” Patton squealed.

Meanwhile Roman was trying to keep it together as Virgil rested his head against his back.

Oh, sweet stars above have mercy.

“I can’t believe your teachers let you walk around with those for I don’t want to know how long,” Virgil grumbled dissaprovingly.

“I don’t think they knew how to fix it… Shifting magic got a little out of style the past few decades…” Patton offered.

It was true, while not forbidden, shifting in animals was regarded as probably difficult and risky. It was more a superstition than anything. The arch mage never warned against it but wizards and mages alike were cautious about it all the same.

“Of course it did,” Virgil mumbled. “Incomplete transformations are part of the learning process to shift. All you have to do is not panic and do the shift again but with focus on the parts that didn’t make it all the way to the other end. You should have seen me fumble my first few attempts at shifting. And that was nothing compared to Remus, though he didn’t mind looking like a freak of nature so I don’t think he was trying that hard to get it right,” Virgil informed them.

“Right… Thank you,” Patton said, touching his face with his now clawless hand.

Virgil just hummed.

“Maybe you should take a break. I’m sure we can find some place to settle down so you can meditate,” Roman offered.

Virgil grunted in protest. “I’m not wasting my few human hours on sleep. I’m just a little drowsy from boosting that spell. Some tea at the inn and I’ll be right as rain,” he insisted.

“The inn?” Roman wondered.

“Yeah. Little inn. It was run by a nice couple, then their kid and so on. S’been a good place for a mage to stop by on their way home from wherever for centuries,” Virgil muttered.

The group exchanged glances. If true, then no one had felt the need to inform them of this inn’s existence. Would it still be there after an apparent big part of its customers vanished?

“So… The village elder said the king had been forgiving of their struggles with taxes… If it’s been fifty years, then I doubt that’s still king Theodor. Has his son taken the throne?” Virgil asked. He sounded casual but Roman could feel there was nothing casual about the question.

“Yes,” Patton confirmed.

“King Theodor passed away in his sleep forty years ago. King Thomas was in his mid-twenties at the time and took the throne under the guidance and tutelage of Arch Mage Noctora. He is fair and just, though he is private and withdrawn,” Logan elaborated.

This news disturbed Virgil but Roman decided not to point that out. He just hoped Virgil could feel he wanted to comfort him.

The way the high mage seemed to melt more into him led Roman to believe that at the very least the intent was understood and appreciated.

“Maybe I can take a quick powernap,” he mused drowsily. “At the inn. After we figure out where Remus is at,” he insisted.

Roman didn’t argue with him.

“Oh, Logan! I can ride now! Then you can read some more!” Patton realized excitedly, making his fellow mages laugh.

They stopped for a moment to allow the two to switch places. Roman took the opportunity to look back to Virgil who was sitting a bit more upright now that they weren’t moving.

“I’m fine. Just… I suppose you could say it has finally sunk in. The time that has passed…”

Roman supposed that hearing that the teenage prince is now an old man would put it a bit more in perspective.

“I’m sorry,” Roman offered. There had to be people this man knew that were gone now. Even if somehow All High mages had merely been trapped instead of infected and could be brought back…

But how would that even happen? Maybe the disease affected great mages only. Maybe High Mages were immune due to their close bond with their guide. Maybe that was why Roman didn’t suffer any side effects from the Moonflower. Because he had a High Mage guiding him.

And maybe someone took advantage of a mysterious illness taking out Great Mages to go on a quest to imprison every high mage without anyone realizing the disappearances were even more nefarious than a strange magical illness… That made sense.

“Nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes, sometimes you are just handed a shitty deal and you have no choice but accept it and make the best out of it that you can,” Virgil insisted.

Roman was about to comment on how deep that was but… He was talking to someone who’d lived long enough to have earned that wisdom.

It was hard to remember that they weren’t entirely the same age…

“Let’s go!” Patton announced excitedly as he urged the horse in a light trot. Logan was sitting backwards leaning against Patton to continue reading. Roman dismissed his musings and followed after him. Couldn’t have them ride past the inn without noticing.

“What’s got you so twisted up inside?” Virgil mused.

Right. Empathy link.

“I… How does the not aging thing work…? Like you are at least 100 years old, but you look my age,” he explained.

He could feel Virgil chuckle.

“I’m not mentally at least a hundred years old. The village elder doesn’t come across as a child to me just because I probably have met his grandfather while passing through the area.

There is a maturity that comes with physically aging. There are parts of life I will never experience no matter how old I get. I am your age, but infinitely more experienced at it.

I have always lived as someone in their late twenties. I think of it more like my next birthday just never really came. I stopped really celebrating it after a hundred. It seemed very redundant and even Remus was starting to struggle to come up with weird ideas for a party by then. We decided to just do a semi regular random party for the three of us still being friends after that. Those were pretty fun. Boys weekend out,” he recalled. The nostalgia and fondness so strong Roman was almost convinced that Patton and Logan must feel it rolling off off the mage in bittersweet waves as well.

Suddenly Virgil perked up. “We’re here,” he announced.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #ts virgil #roman sanders #ts roman #prinxiety #the dark phoenix au #logan sanders #ts logan #patton sanders #ts patton

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luxuryandlilacs · 2 years

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For the month of June, I have a few goals I want to keep in mind.

Read at least two books. They can be any genre. I can read one fantasy and one self-help book. I want to read at least one self-help book each month. Now that I’m taking this journey seriously, I want to read books on creating habits, dating, self-confidence/esteem, healing, and finances.

Be consistent with gratitude journaling. Try to write a few things I’m thankful for and a few things I will be grateful that I’m currently praying for/manifesting. I watched a video on this from a wonderful youtuber. I’ll have to make another post on it so I can share it. From the few times I’ve done it, it has helped me feel so much joy and love. Like I actually want to live and it’s possible I can achieve all the success. I definitely recommend it.

Journaling daily or at least every other day. My therapist recommends it so I’m just going to listen.

Prayer. I definitely on a journey of healing my relationship with the Creator. I am co-creating with the Divine so I think it is important to be able to trust in God again.

Mediation! I am trying to create a habit of meditating at least a few times a week and eventually everyday. There are so many benefits of meditating.

Exercise. This is a given. I’ve been slacking when it comes to weightlifting and I want to bring the habit of working out at least 3 times a week back into my life. I just feel so great whenever I’m crushing my workout (or when the work out is crushing me).

Stretching. This coincides with exercising because you should be stretching after each work out. However I want to start stretching even during my rest days. I am trying to get more flexible since I have really tight hips. I’ve had tight hips for the longest time so it’s time to do something about it.

So excited to create new habits to create a new more prosperous, abundant life!

#goalsetting #goals #june goals #femininity #journaling #hypergamy #health

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wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i · 2 years

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Decided to look into my personality types/astrology/numerology stuff again so I could come up with a few methods for self care.

My life path number is 4, my ennegram number is 4w5, I am an ENFP, and a Libra rising/Leo sun/Taurus Moon.

Here's what my research uncovered:

Life path number 4

🦢In numerology, 4 is the number of stability, like the four corners of a square, the four traditional elements, the four seasons, or the four wheels of a car. It is a practical, functional number, associated with practical, functional people.

🦢You have a strong sense of ethics, and are not willing to compromise them for much.

🦢It is important that those on Life Path 4 find ways to relax and open up, especially about their ideas.

🦢Find hobbies that make you feel productive, even when you’re not working. Knitting or sewing can be great because the results are instantly visible. Blogging is also a very popular pastime, since it keeps 4s mentally stimulated while also allowing them to reflect a bit on their lives. (Cackling over this one)

Ennegram 4(w5)

🦢Remind yourself of what’s real and what you can count on. Don’t minimize your feelings, but think about the reality of the situation while empathizing with yourself.

🦢Set up some positive routines that will create a more peaceful atmosphere in your home.

🦢Reserve an hour to draw, paint, write, or express yourself and emerge feeling refueled and reinspired.

🦢Use a gratitude journal to record small joys to counteract heavier emotions and to keep you present in the moment.

🦢Stay hydrated, take walks outside, and roll out your yoga mat for daily stretching and meditation. Try Tai chi! (This helped my anxiety in the past. I should start up my sunrise Tai chi routine again.)

🦢 Make your bed every morning. This can help with motivation for a Type 4 that tends to avoid “trivial” tasks.

🦢Do the thing you have been wanting to do. Do it without the added pressure of it needing to be everything you ever envisioned. Create the painting; write the book; start the business; audition for the role.

🦢Find an external cause. Volunteer in your community. Serving others will help you see that beauty and fulfillment is not just found in pain.

ENFP (Myers Briggs)

🦢 Pick up that project you’ve been putting off, like assembling that piece or furniture or fixing your car.

🦢For ENFPs self-care often means taking care of the things they’ve neglected. (Gotta take out another loan for school, gotta practice for ballet, gotta send in my short stories to be published, etc)

🦢In order to be able to truly feel like themselves the ENFP needs to have some alone time, but also needs to experience something new with the people they love. Being around those who love and appreciate the ENFP is rewarding and fulfilling for them in many ways. They feed off of this positive energy and feel more like the best version of themselves once again.

Taurus 🌝

🦢Taurus Moons are deeply anchored in their bodies, so self-care will come in material or physical pleasures; think massages, hearty comfort food, and a great skincare ritual!

🦢Emotional self-care for this Earth sign means honoring that need for stability, and allowing themselves to adapt at their own pace.

🦢Set up the coziest lounge space you can imagine.

🦢Have your favorite comfort food delivered.

🦢Stream your favorite TV show, dive under the covers, and make sure your schedule is cleared for the rest of the day to relax sans responsibility.

🦢Try cooking up a nutritious meal, slipping into your silk pj’s, and incorporate a nourishing face serum as part of your evening ritual. Look for herbs like rose, thyme, and sage to ground you.

My own ideas:

🦢Take a trip to six flags.

🦢Go hiking around the little grand canyon.

🦢Try a new recipe.

🦢Deep clean my room.

🦢Make an updated spreadsheet of my values, morals and aspirations.

🦢Make a playlist for all my moods.

🦢Start my grimoire.

🦢Reread my favorite books from when I was younger: Judy Moody, Goosebumps (I didn't read these but did watch the movie and show), The Sisters Grimm, Magic Tree House, Dear America, My Sister is So Bossy She Says You Can't Read This Book, Gallagher girls, etc.

🦢Have a dance party by myself thrice a week.

🦢Start researching for my senior project.

🦢Work on editing my book.

🦢Self care day! Do my hair and nails, take myself out to a movie and then come home and have take out for dinner!

🦢Do a summer reading program like I did as a kid

🦢CREATE A TREEHOUSE/HIDEOUT SPOT IN THE BACKYARD

🦢Put up a tire swing in the backyard

🦢Work on my southern accent

🦢Write another play

🦢Try Polish food!

🦢Learn to sew!

🦢Press flowers

🦢Have a watch party with friends

🦢 Get braids!!

🦢Learn how to do really cool designs with friendship bracelets and sell them/buy a gumball machine and sell gum

🦢Practice dancing and singing

I'll add more to this list over the course of the summer. But I'm going to pin this post as a reminder for myself to choose one thing to work on a day and then post how everything went.

I'm super excited!!

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meditating-dog-lover · 10 days

Text

Style update (mostly nails and eyebrows)

So as I said previously, my hair, teeth, and facial skin look really good. I'm scheduled for a hair cut and style next month, facial treatment next week, and a dental cleaning in mid-June. Really these are all maintenance appointments and are not meant to drastically change my appearance. I use a whitening toothpaste (the pink Rembrandt one) and an expensive electric toothbrush which clean and whiten my teeth as opposed to whitening strips and gels (they absolutely hurt like hell). I do layering and balayage to my hair and I get skin treatments as well as following a skincare routine at home and eating healthy, supplementing, and drinking matcha berry tea which is rich in antioxidants (and I love the taste).

Healthwise (which can reflect in physical beauty but I'm looking at it from a health POV here) I have hand eczema and and am trying IF to lose fat (and I already did lose weight!). So I'm still waiting on my lab results and am doing bloodwork next Monday. And I'm going to continue with the IF and walking so I can shed more fat and gain some body confidence, though I have looked in the mirror and noticed I lost fat. Really the IF and potentially addressing gut health can help boost my overall wellness (since I do believe my eczema is gut related, but I'm also checking for hormones, nutritional deficiencies, immunoglobulins, and histamines). Whatever it is, I'll take measures to address the issue and I will feel a lot better overall.

In addition I also want to incorporate more stretching and posture improvement because I do feel muscle tension. Even going to massage sessions can help (I never had one before, but I can definitely go for a professional relaxation treatment). Also mindfulness, meditation, self-love and appreciation, reading (reading is something I absolutely should be doing). These are additional non-physical goals that can help me (well the stretching and posture improvement are but they're additional goals I want to work towards). Also working on confidence, saving money and being financially responsible, and progressing at work (I just did some training today and it went very well!). Generally speaking, these are some goals that show that I'm confident, friendly and kind, positive, responsible, mature, motivated, intelligent, educated, and hardworking. Journaling is another huge one that I've been actively doing for years and I can see myself keeping this up forever.

Regarding some physical goals, I am working on my nails and eyebrows. I have photos of myself from late 2021 and early 2022 where my eyebrows looked really good, especially on my first day at work. I do have photos saved on my phone to use as a reference. I did overpluck my eyebrows now and they are growing back (they grow back fast so I'm not concerned). I just need to shape them so that the arch part is soft curved (this can be tricky because I can remove a part that looks like it shouldn't be there because it's making the brow look harsh, but I end up removing too much and now the eyebrow looks flat). I do trim them too, and it's best to trim before plucking because some hairs are just long and don't need to be removed. It does take practice. But again I have photos where my eyebrows look good, where there is enough thickness to look natural and youthful, but not too messy, they go up and are soft curved, and the "tails" aren't too thin. That way they look lifted, soft, natural, and youthful. Because they grow back fast, I need to determine the rate at which I have to redo them.

Regarding my nails, I already have very healthy looking nails. I just need to style and shape them. The skin surrounding them looks healthy and my natural nails are strong and do not break off often. Ever since I started taking my multivitamin, they've been strong. I think it could be the biotin, but I know water and protein help a lot too and I drink 2 L of water daily. But it's also definitely something in the multivitamin. My nails will grow quite long where the white parts are visible and they still won't break off. Unless I wear nail polish, aggressively use my nails as tools (I had to peel off very stubborn stickers one time at work using my nails and they broke off). The cold dry weather as well as constantly exposing my nails to water and cleaning products can make them dry and weak. I cleaned my car last week for almost an hour using a ton of Lysol wipes, which dried up my hands and nails quite quickly. Thankfully my nails did not break off. I do wear gloves while doing dishes, I probably should have done that while cleaning my car. But generally speaking, anything drying, watery, aggressive, and harsh chemicals and force can break my nails.

Like I said I do have hand eczema, which makes my fingers look dry and flaky. My skin is problematic, but my nails are the total opposite. And they're exposed to the same water, soaps, and environment.

Thankfully they are healthy, I just want to be able to shape them. I naturally have wide nail beds, which gives my nails width. I've always liked narrow and more almond shaped nails as they look more feminine. Though it's a bit tricky to achieve that with wide nail beds. With that width, nails look wider, making them more circle or square shape because they lack the elongation that oval nails have. People with narrow and long nail beds can naturally achieve this even with a short nail length. However someone like me will need some additional length to create elongation so that my nails are longer than they are wide, given the already existing width. I don't like very long nails, but I can learn how to adjust and try out some longer styles.

For example, my hands, fingers, and nails look very similar to this model's. She does have wider beds and her fingers aren't very long nor thin, and her palms are wide. And her nails look very lovely, soft and feminine. The reason they look elongated and oval despite the width she has is because they are long (they go past the tips of her fingers). They are very pretty, I can try this out as a reference and have my nails grow similarly. The only way I can really attain that pretty and feminine oval shape is by lengthening my nails. Because they're healthy now and are more resistant to breaking, I can wait for them to grow out and see how I like them. Again like my hair and brows, my nails grow fast. So I need to figure out how to maintain them and how often after styling them.

These are just the physical goals, I obviously have a lot of non-physical goals. But these are very fun to explore, look into, and try out. I haven't been very appearance focused growing up, so it's fun to try these out and to pamper myself here and there.

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laura-apexart · 8 months

Text

Day 24. 7.31.23

Rock climbing at Zona De Bloque

To rent shoes and for 2 hours it’s about $8

No class just free climb -left to my own devices. Wish I had guidance- had climbed a few times before in Brooklyn with friends using their guest passes and with their pointers. Enjoyed the kinesthetic negotiations and problem solving-I enjoy watching others move their bodies and cling and scale across colored knobs and blobs. The gym is playing hip hop and rap (mostly American music)

Again -I am confronted with a sort of syntax and grammar but for the body to negotiate.I choose blue-beginner but still hard -I’m afraid of heights and of tweaking my back. The patterns of these different colored forms jutting out of the wall. I push myself and try different walls or sides around the gym but always stick to blue and get pretty high up-when I leave my arms are sore. Need to work on upper body strengthening. I probably should have stretched before beginning to climb like everyone else at the gym. HA.

In the afternoon, I go to Tipo, Lito, Calavera, Histories Del Diseno Grafico enn Colombia at Casa Republicanna de la Biblioteca Luis Anngel Arango–one of the first exhibitions to record the history of typography in Colombia during the 20th cen. Like so many of the museums here, the exhibition is in the Candelaria area. The exhibition had an amazing layout and display-album covers, books, advertisements, logos, comics, journals, political and social works.

In a vaulted room there's a small projected film playing , the color is gorgeous-it was filmed in the 60’s Bogota Blues —a take on an American in Paris to Rhapsody Blues by George Gershwin. I found the footage masterfully edited together, playing with shifts in camera speed and direction -buildings moving up and down for transitions between subjects–everything is organized in categories but still maintains a sort of chaos and mess of city life and beats and fun to sit next to two Bogota women as they watched in delight and pointed out different neighborhoods etc–see how the city looked in the 60’s –1963.

Various montages like cuts between people walking in the rain, running, reacting to the rain with their umbrellas or the domes and spires of churches and cathedrals or the city all light up at night , the neon signs, dogs wandering around roaming, the city at sunset and sunrise. Thought of what I would film or patterns I have noticed:

Uniforms -so many different ones

Trash piles and trash pickers -picked trash

Animals asleep in Windows

Fruit/food vendors on the street

Motorcycles at green lights like insects buzzing by

The people on the bus selling snacks and various objects like headphones and sparkling hair clips

Interesting to connect back to the Typography and graphic designs in all the printed works. Makes me want to study Gestalt psychology and rules of visual perception and patterns of the eye/mind. Accumulation of likeness. Can you find patterns in chaos? If you focus on a category and collect data of footage, maybe a type of sense or likeness starts to emerge? Everything is a Construction but we need structure and systems to function-which ones are culturally specific? Which ones transcend borders / boundaries?

In the Evenning I go to Meditation at the Bogota Buddhist Center

The center is being renovated (I went to the center’s address on Thursday and it was closed) so it’s taking place in the community room of one of the members apartments -I arrive early and the doorman/security guard sends me up to the 5th floor, it is the apartment of the mother of the women who is hosting, they are both so warm and welcoming and invite me in and she explains she is undergoing treatment-chemotherapy but almost done, that’s why she’s wearing a mask–but not to worry or feel bad for her because she is ok and feels good and I want to imagine the meditation must be a big part of that? I help bring down mats and other supplies we need for the meditation. I ask how she found her way to the practice.

She was working in Medelln (gods heart?) with children and a family that was stressful and she was smoking at the time and but couldn’t because of the job and wanted to quite, and a friend suggested meditation, she took to it, then when she moved to Bogota found this center. We set up and Juan -arrived leads the meditation and graciously translates the whole lecture / meditation for me -but the others assure me that it’s good practice for him (he agrees) because he's about to go on tour in Europe and lead sessions in English. All 7 members of the group, friends are warm and charismatic and good natured, so welcoming, open, and curious. It all feels so intimate and makeshift and I am curious to go to the center in nyc (by Empire State Building) they have 600 around the world .

The meditation opens with a lecture that goes something like: We are shaped by are perceptions. If we have a happy disposition we will experience the world positively, if we are depressed and have hard feelings/outlook -circumstances, we might experience the world badly

The practice helps us be objective, remove ourselves from our feelings -feelings are impermanent.These are the teaching from a Tibetan teacher (Nepal) who trained a man and his wife from Holland / who now live in Bovaria, Germany and have a center and have trained Juan.

The lecture continues: It’s about experience moving from head and intellect to heart and experience so that you can connect with others -not about self, about others!!!

The container stays the same -the contents are impermanent.

Guided meditation with chanting dispersed that I loved at one point repeating two words the room was filled with whispers and humming and vibrating and it sounded wild but felt so focused

crystal light -tip of nose

Red light in throat that connects with the sea

Blue light in heart that connects with the sea

Black light ? form disintegrates

All that is left is shining light, energy, joy, radiating outward.

After a stayed a little longer to chat with some of the younger members, Isabella and her partner joined 2016-17 they were both raised Catholic, had questions that weren’t answered or addressed-took a course in school that exposed them to meditation, discovered this center in Bogota. They stressed the importance of questioning–do you feel something from it–does it resonate with you? It is important to ask yourself these questions, becomes so personal.

#Laura Bernstein

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pompadourpink · 4 years

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I'm about to turn 18, fresh outta high school. What are things I should start doing? LY

You should start investing in yourself:

Take care of your body. That means eating better, working out, sleeping enough (...) to avoid negative consequences in the future before it’s too late. Read How not to die by Michael Greger for more details. Get a deep tissue massage twice a year, buy sunscreen, stretch, go easy on the coffee.

Take care of your mind. Spend time with yourself, meditate, live slower, set time limits for your social media, do yoga, journal often, go to therapy - even if it’s one session a month for a year, you will always get something out of it. Never, ever believe it's too late or you're too damaged to get better.

Save money (and pay off debt asap) - that might be what makes the difference between an hour-long problem and a nightmare down the road. Sure you'll never be 20 and in Paris again, but you will be 35 and in Starbucks again: be more intentional with your self-care. Save a year's worth of rent and bills.

Honour your ambition. Figure out your bucket list, make a vision board, decide what’s really important (to you! don't follow other people's dreams!) and forget about the rest of the world; picture who you want to be and start acting like her.

Never stop learning. Can be a language, an instrument, code, etc. For your professional, social, romantic life - make yourself interesting. If you like something, explore it. You never know what opportunities could come from that - you'll forget mistakes, but regrets will haunt you.

Treat yourself like someone you love. You shouldn’t need to have a friend coming over to shower or take the trash out. Give yourself compliments instead of being harsh, your brain hears it and will believe you.

Surround yourself with goodness. You want to enjoy your life, not spend it healing from things that could have been avoided: when someone shows you who they are, believe them. The first time. Listen to your gut and don’t stay loyal to people who think you’re replaceable.

Be nicer than necessary. We have enough devil’s advocates.

Stop gossiping, trash-talking, and mocking, be open to differences; don’t ever alienate people on purpose - be an example, not a preacher.

Don’t take anything for granted. Your health, relationships, job, house. You could lose anything, anytime. One day, it will be too late to call grandma. Be prepared for that, and do everything you can to make tomorrow easier.

Love,

Mum

#ask #malks

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theonlygamergost · 3 years

Text

Dream’s new friend -Dream SMP

I am an absolute sucker for Techno/Dream interactions, and them getting locked up together made me want to write about them, so here we are.

English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical error, I try my best.

~~~~~~~~~~

They have a plan to escape, but it’s slow and very taxing on Dream’s frail body, so Techno tries his best to be a good friend and support him. Spoilers: he only knows how to be an amazing friend.

~~~~~~~~~

Warning! Mention of torture, Swearing

Enjoy~

“Just so you know, I'm not breaking all of the blocks by myself, you're helping” he looked at the half-pig while his hands went in and out of the water, Techno grinned, “You really thought I'd let you do that all by yourself?” he let out a short laugh, “I just needed to exaggerate my inner anarchist and look lazy in front of chat, that's all. We can do a block per person” Dream smiled behind his cracked mask, returning his gaze in front of him. Meditating on thoughts while watching the water break every time he punched.

It had been a few days since Techno last streamed, they had just broken the second block, meaning that Dream was up for the third block. The bell hadn't been touched very much, Techno had ringed it twice to annoy the other man, but that was about it.

“Do you regret asking for the bell instead of freedom?” Dream was sitting not too far at a from Techno, just enough to have privacy while writing, “Not really” the pig-man was punching away the second block, “I mean, it would have been anticlimactic to get out of here in the first stream” Dream sighed, “Is the entertainment of the situation all you care about?” he looked at Techno, slightly annoyed. The men tilted his head, “Not completely, but you have to agree that getting out of here using DreamXD would have drawn even more attention on you, not only from Quackity” he noted, “But from all the server” the man with the dirty white mask looked up, resting his head on the wall behind him, “True…”. The pig-man took a quick glance at the other boy and returned his focus on punching, Dream had followed suit and went back to writing.

Dream had kneeled and started punching the third block approximately twenty minutes ago, Techno was relaxing his tired body by laying sprawled on the floor: he had underestimated how tiring the process was.

“I have been training constantly up until I came here and this has worn me out, so how are you holding up?” He turned his face to the man punching away, who laughed at the question, “I’m not, why do you think I slept so much right after?”.

Oh right, the sight of Dream huddled in a corner popped into his mind, the cellmate stayed dead still and silent for a long while after breaking the first block. Who could blame him though? He had been stuck in this prison for what- six, seven months? Techno doubted the first inmate of this cell trained daily, with the heat of the lava and the constant sweating, even he wouldn’t want to train.

“Well, it’s still admirable that you recovered from a day of punching just by sleeping it off” Dream nodded as a thank you. After a sigh, Techno went back to staring at the ceiling, this wasn’t the best idea he had ever come up with, but hey, it was the only subtle one since he couldn’t use withers and tnt to get out.

He closed his eyes and focused on the various sounds of the lava: boiling, bubbling, it seemed like a soup cooking, but the sound of the liquid flowing down wasn’t normal, he opened his eyes, “Dream, the lava is falling”. The other man stopped punching and got closer to the edge of the cell, as soon as pistons got into motion, he quickly leapt behind the netherite block line and almost got left out, as it raised from the ground. Techno scooted in front of the bell and Dream leaned on the barrier, curious to see who was coming.

Some dreadful minutes after, the lava finally revealed who was visiting: It was none other than Sam.

“Heyyy Sam!” Techno was quick to chirp a greeting, waving excessively. Dream simply gestured a salute, backing away from the netherite blocks and leaning on a wall. The man in armour hopped on the taxi platform and started making his way, still silent. “What brings you here Sam? Maybe you’ve decided to free me?” The pig-man got no reply, just a stare, “Are you here because I have called every book I signed ‘Sub to Techno’? Listen, I can’t really apologize about that-” Sam got closer, still no response. Dream eyed the bell behind his inmate and hoped that the guard wouldn’t get too close, what would even happen if he saw it? He feared nothing good.

The platform reached the cell and Sam stepped on the obsidian, Dream wanted to ask where was Quackity, why he wasn’t coming anymore, maybe Sam was here to torture him in his stead? But he stayed quiet, not wanting to wake up the sleeping lion.

“Oh I got it!” Techno snapped his finger, “You missed us so you came to see us!” Sam sighed as he started to fumble in his inventory, “Don’t be ridiculous Techno” the guard finally spoke, “I came to check if you weren’t trying to escape-” He plopped a bag on the netherite barrier, “And to bring you potatoes. I’ve heard you’re a big fan of them, Technoblade” A smirk slipped though, god was he tired of being teased with the whole ‘Potato lover’ joke.

Sam turned to Dream and went back to rustle in his pocket, “I’ve also brought more journals and some ink for you, Dream.”. He also placed those on the barrier, the man with the white mask got off the wall and placed the bag of food on the floor while also grabbed the stationary, murmuring out a “Thank you”.

The guard looked at the two prisoners again, “You two better not be planning anything. Behave and nothing will happen to you” he said as he hopped back on the platform, and even when it started moving, he was still looking at those two. He only broke sight when he arrived on the other side, took down the netherite barrier and re-activated the lava.

Techno had been sweating throughout the entire meet-up, thankfully, the high temperature disguised his nervousness. Focusing on the slow dripping of the crying obsidian helped him avoid fidgeting or bouncing his leg. Dream was mostly focused on not looking in Techno’s direction too much, to avoid raising suspicion, he also restrained himself to tease or talk back to Sam, even though, thinking about it more clearly, in all the times Sam came to check up on him, he seemed lost in his thoughts, absent…

Both the inmates let out a sigh of relief when the lava-curtain dropped, Dream slid down the wall onto the floor, “I don’t know why he didn’t enter the cell like he usually does, but thank god he didn’t”, Techno let out a shaky breath, “That was pure stress… I thought hiding the bell was going to be easier”.

The two took a break from talking: Techno layed down again, placing an arm on his forehead, meanwhile Dream placed both books and food in their place. When he too sat down, Techno asked: “You should get some sleep before going back to punching” he tilted his head to look at the other man, who replied smiling at the friend’s concern, “Nah” he shook his head, “I don’t want to sleep, but I’ll post-pone punching for a little more” Techno nodded, closing his eyes for a little.

Silence fell again and the bubbling from the lava took over as the main noise, the elder guardian screech renewed their mining fatigue and Dream decided to close his eyes for a minute as well.

_________

The hard ground and the heat that wearing the mask had created were hard to ignore, his body ached a little and he was out of breath, “Oh wow that actually worked”, a faint voice made him realize that his mind was foggy: he had fallen asleep.

Slowly stretching his limbs, letting out a long whine and blinking a couple of times got him a bit more lucid, getting up to a sitting position. Scanning the room he realized his inmate was sitting at the edge of the lava cascade blocking the cell, fumbling with what, he couldn’t see.

“...Mh… Techno…” he mumbled with his morning voice, yawning right after. The friend looked over his shoulder to see a sleepy Dream rubbing his eyes, he smiled, “Good morning dear, I’m cooking you breakfast before you head for work”. The white-mask man smiled, “Very funny Techno…”, he stretched again. “Oh no I’m not kidding, I’m baking the potatoes” he turned to show the crispy tubers in his arms, Dream’s eyes widened. “Oh wow, you really did that” Techno nodded, getting up from his improvized ‘kitchen’, “I was surprised it worked as well honestly”.

The smell of food filled the cell, making the sleepy man’s stomach rumble, they both laughed at the sound: Dream had almost forgotten what hot food tasted like. “Here” Techno threw him a potato, almost dropping it on the ground because of Dream’s rusty reflexes.

He took off his broken mask out of excitement to taste the meal, not realizing his own action, but Techno didn’t stare at him nor asked questions about it, he simply sat down himself and didn’t speak a word, probably the easiest and more natural way he had ever shown someone his face, he silently thanked the other man for not judging him or reacting negatively.

Once he started eating it, a tear almost fell off his eye, the pig-man noticed, “Oh yeah… you’ve been eating them raw for a long time”. The potato expert looked over the hungry and content friend eating away, “I can always do more if you’d like, they taste better cooked either way” and he also took a bite. They ate in silence mostly, a couple of words were exchanged but nothing much.

When Techno (who wasn’t as hungry as Dream) finished his snack, he looked over at the ‘ex toilet’ and got up to sit down next to it, rolling his sleeves up. Dream noticed, “Umf...Whatf awe you doingf?” He asked with his mouth full, making the friend smile, “I’ll start punching so you can rest a little more, we can swap whenever you feel rested and full enough” and he did start punching, Dream nodded, looking at the potato in his hand.

Now he understood why Phil and Wilbur liked Techno so much: who he saw as friends were treated with the utmost respect and care. He glanced over at the pig-man once more. But if you never saw this side of him… how could you even try and trust him? That’s why Quackity was so traumatized…

He squinted, the view of Techno standing between him and Tommy flashed in his mind, Dream’s eyebrows knitted.

Then why did Tommy give away Techno’s kindness for a dying country and people that didn’t care for him?

A deep sigh came from the man in the corner, snapping Dream back to his obsidian cell.

As long as Dream was sincere with Techno. they would have been both down to help the other. He finished munching on his meal. Yes, Techno owed one to Dream, but now that he was alone, with no friends or allies, transforming that debt into a friendship seemed like a gift. A gift Dream would treat with respect and gratitude.

“Thank you Techno…” Techno smiled, allowing a content noise to slip out of him, “What, for cooking a potato?” Dream shook his head even if the pig-man couldn’t see him, “No… For being my friend” the man in question turned to look at the white mask- no, underneath the white mask. “I don’t have a lot of friends myself y’know, I guess you could say we are two lonely dudes keeping each other company”.

Dream giggled, they hadn’t interacted that much until now… but he was sure he was going to enjoy being around him.

#dreamsmp #dreamsmp fanfiction #technoblade #dreamwastaken #awesamdude #fanfiction #my fanfiction #writing #my writing #tw torture mention #dream fanfiction #technoblade fanfiction

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wildlittlefoxsworld · 4 years

Note

Hey can you do a the old guard imagine about Andy x reader. Where the reader is immortal but ihas a younger doppelgänger and they team finds out and reader has to explain her family bloodline and all that jazz any questions message me. Thanks love the two imagines on the old guard so far. Keep up the good work.

Gene Recurrence | The Old Guard | Andy x Fem!Reader

Author's note: This was a very interesting request. I got instantly an idea and I hope you will like it.

Warnings: light smut, light angst, angry!Joe, fluff

Words: 2.6 k +

Masterlist

Sequel "Mornings in the Carribbean"

***

Vacation. Summer. Caribbean sun. Colorful cocktails. Your family. Your hot girlfriend. What did you need more?

A thin, white cloth was draped about your lower half of the body and your eyes still closed, you savoured how the warm wind felt on your skin.

That days were rarely, when you were just laying lazy in bed and having nothing to worry about.

You looked to your left side and noticed that Andy was still sleeping. You stayed silent, because Andy had a light sleep and you wanted her to rest. Her left arm laid across your stomach and her right served herself as a pillow. The actual pillows were shoved of the bed by her moving in the sleep.

“So beautiful,” you mumbled quietly and carassed Andy's cheek with your fingertips. A small smile started to spread on her lips and you knew she heard you. Andy opened her green eyes and wouldn't you have loved her already, you would fall for her all over again.

“You always say the right words,” Andy praised and shifted closer to you. Rolling your body to the side you were laying face to face. She raised her hand slowly to stroke over your hair and stopped in your neck. The grip was firm like everything about her, she was always ready to fight, but here with you. Here she could be soft and tender, despite you loved her sharpness and precision. She was a warrior in every aspect of her life.

Andy went straight for what she wanted and needed. Now she wanted to kiss you passionately, dragging you back on the mattress, making clear that she was in charge and you loved every second of it. You loved Andy for her careness in a authority way, always having the upper hand and yet she gave you everything you craved for. She hold you tight in her arms, kissed you in a way that aroused both of you and touched your skin with right strength or tenderness to drive you crazy.

The both of you ended up panting with her on top of you laying between your legs. Her mouth trailed down your throat and she sucked slightly on your skin. You gasped when she found your sweet stop, grazing her teeth over the sensitive area.

“Please,” you whispered and Andy knew excatly what you wanted, but before she could start regale your upper body with her kisses, there was a knock on your door.

“We go to the beach. Do you want to join or are you busy?” Nicky's voice came hushed from the hallway and Andy let her head sink on your breasts.

“Hurry up before the best sun lounger are occupied,” Joe shouted laughing. You heard their footsteps dissapearing after you told them you would follow soon. Andy groaned but hieved her body up to stand up, but you grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back down. Andy quirkend an eyebrow and smirked when you shoved your hand under her shirt.

“Are you in the mood for a quick shower? Together? Then going to the beach?” Andy suggested and you were more than happy to let her picking you up.

The shower with Andy let to more than washing away the sweat from a hot night. You felt statisfied for the moment and Andy gave you a last lovingly kiss before leaving the bathroom.

You put on a simple white bikini and a yellow long skirt. With a bag over your shoulder and intertwined fingers with Andy, you went down to the beach near the hotel.

“Only fourty-five minutes, is that a new record, Nicky?” Joe mocked and the the both men laughed including Booker.

“We thought it would take at least two hours,” Booker chuckled and Andy rolled playfully her eyes while you slapped Booker on the back of the head lightly.

“Hey, and what about Joe?”

You looked over to the dark-haired man and he grinned triumphal. You shrugged and gave Joe the same treatment. Joe looked befuddled at you and wanted to say something. “Behave, my love,” Nicky warned him and gave him a meaningful look with a hint of a smile.

“Good Morning, Nicky,” you said warmhearted and kissed him on the cheek.

“Good morning, principessa,” he replied smiling and you sat down on your sun lounger next to Andy and Nicky.

“I get myself something to drink. Anyone wants something?” Booker asked in the round.

“An apple spritzer would be great,” you told him and he nodded. It would take him a few minutes to get your, Nicky's and his drinks.

Meanwhile Andy ordered your services in putting sun screen on her back.

When Booker came back his expression was bewildered and you frowned, because he nearly spilled the drinks. Nicky helped him while you were massaging Andy's shoulders.

“Are you alright?” you inquiried about his well-being and you got worried when he didn't stop starring at you.

“I saw a girl that looks excatly like you. First I thought it was you, but then I looked over to all of you and you were here. She wears a green jumpsuit and looks the same as you from hair to toe,” he explained in hurry and nearly chocked on his own tongue.

“I was sitting on my girlfriend's butt the whole time,” you commentend his words. “And there are many women here that has the same hair and skin color like me. Did you see her face from the front? Maybe she was just looking simliar to me.”

Booker searched for help by the others, but Joe just shrugged and Andy closed her eyes again, she wiggled underneath you to make you continuing with your massage.

“Are you sure you aren't just drunk?” Joe suggested and Booker shook his head furiously. For a second he seemed meditative, but then his head spinned around and he acted like he was searching for someone. “There she is. Still at the bar,” Booker proclaimed.

All of you stretched their necks and in this moment the woman turned around, it was like you were looking in a mirror.

“Yep, that's you, Y/N,” Nicky said deadpanned. In shock you couldn't move, couldn't tear away your eyes. She could be your twin, the same hair, eyes, face, heigh, body figure. But she looked younger. You had been close to your thirties when you first had died, she was probably in her early twenties.

Of course, your family watched you curiously and expecting an explanation maybe, but they weren't sure if you would have one.

Even Andy lifted her body up and studied the appearance of the young girl. “Interesting,” she mumbled and her head turned to you. But you were frozen in your position balancing on your shins. Andy observed you. It was clearly to her how shocked you must been, but something in your gaze got her perplexed. Your breathing increased and your hands were clenched to fists.

Andy rolled herself on her back underneath you and took your hands gently in hers. You got frightened for a second before you noticed it was only your beloved one.

“It's okay, darling. Why are you so tense? I can tell you aren't scared or atonished. This isn't new to you, right?” Andy asked carefully and you were taken aback. She knew you too well and rumbled you most of the time. Frustration grew inside you and let you groan loudly

“Fuck,” you cursed. Andy watched you worriedly and pulled you down on her lap. You scrunched your face in annoyance when she rubbed your back, trying to calm you down. Why did this happen now? It didn't happen in your whole immortal time and so you needn't to explain anything.

“She's your doppelgänger,” Joe murmered still confused.

“I know, Joe,” you said through gritted teeths.

“Tell me, Y/N,” Andy demanded and you sighed in defeat.

“Fine,” you agreed.

“Now I'm curious about it,” Joe exclaimed and folded his arms over his chest. Even Nicky showed interest, but he wasn't demanding like the others, he just wanted to understand.

“I descend from witches,” you began to speak and Nicky's widened in surprise and he exchanged looks with Joe.

“Witches? Like riding-a-broom-witches?” Booker asked shocked and laughed in disbelief. You rolled your eyes and huffed.

“So, you are a witch?” Nicky tried to encourage you to tell further.

“I was a witch. I lost my powers after I had died the first time. Seemed nature doesn't allow more than one gift. And I never flew on a broom.” Your last words were full of fury over Booker's mocking tone. You hated that people always had prejudices about witches, but what should you say, people were always scared about supernatural things.

“What powers did you have?” Nicky shared his thoughts and you were glad that he stayed objective.

“Nothing special. I used spells to change weather for a good harvest or that someone found love. I brewed potions for simple illnesses or headaches. A few could more, a few were more powerful.”

“What do you mean? More powerful?” Booker was alarmed and you saw that your story scared him.

“Some could read minds or manipulate minds, able to control time or bring people back from the death, but that was only told. None of my family members could do that. It was simple magic we practiced and even at my time as a human our magic faded slowly away. Many of acient books and journals got lost in a fire when my grandma was a child. Only the knowlegde of basic magic survived and not everyone of us practiced magic.”

You didn't want to look in someones eyes, you were ashamed that you never told them the truth and you were sure they wereü mad at you.

“So witches are real,” Joe determined and stroked his beard. You nodded slowly.

Andy hugged you and you buried your face in the crook of her neck. “You are doing great, babe, you finally told them. I know it's hard, but it's better,” Andy soothed you and her words and presence helped you to calm down.

“You knew the whole time she was a witch?” Booker snorted and shook his head. “Why didn't you tell us?”

“It wasn't my story to tell and she was never a threat for us. She isn't a witch and I don't think she lied,” Andy explained firmly and lose her arms from around you. Gratefully you smiled at her and she mimicked it.

“In 700 years you didn't think once to mention that you were a witch,” Joe scolded reproachful.

“Don't overstate it. That's her past, Joe. It died with her and it wasn't important in her new life. And what she said… it seemed like her family never causes any harm towards humans,” Nicky tried to calm Joe down. He was always to patient, he tried to understand my situation and private motives not say anything.

“I know she would never hurt us and you know I love her like a sister. But she could've told us. She told Andy,” responded still a little angry.

“Do you remember how fast she bonded with Andy and Quynh, it's naturally that she told the people she trusted the most. Do you remember how suspicious she was towards men, it took us a decade to gain her complete trust. And then her past didn't matter, he left her family behind.”

Joe sighed in defeat when Nicky convinced him.

“I'm sorry, Y/N,” Joe apologized, but you weren't mad and you had already forgiven him.

“That doesn't explain why you have a doppelgänger?” Booker remembered on the original topic and you nodded in agreement.

“A long time before my birth a powerful witch of my family wanted the witches to be stronger. My family weren't sure what she could really do, but she casted a spell that didn't end up like she wanted. It didn't make her or any of her sisters stronger. It only made the wisdom and knowledge surviving the centuries. The nature allowed us to be reborn, like an reincarnation. The soul came back to earth in a new life, but with the memories of her past lives. Not all memories, but the important ones to remember all the lessons the soul had learned.”

“You never told me that,” Andy mourned and you quirked an eyebrow.

“I did, but I only told you that I could be reborn. I didn't know that it's possible. I still have my soul, this woman isn't me, she can't remember anything from me or my past lives. But I can remember neither today, the memories faded over the centuries. I think the memories from past lives started to come back when I was sixteen or seventeen, but well… it's a long time ago.”

“That's an incredible story, Y/N, but it still doesn't explain why she is your doppelgänger. Is it possible that you can be reborn without your soul?” Joe considered and watched your doppelgänger, she was talking to few other women.

“The soul goes back to her origin one day, that's my grandma always told me. I could imagine it's only a gene recurrence. Something the nature couldn't fix, because I'm still alive. So the nature gave her or if there were more reincarnations; them a new soul.”

Andy listened attentive to your explanation and it was a lot to process. She knew that witches existed, a long time before she met you and she knew that their magic slowly disappered over the centuries. You were part of a family that originated powerful witches, but maybe the curse of reincarnations guranteed the long survive of the witches in your family. After you became part of this warrior family she never heard again of real witches, because with the witch trials in the medieval time the real witches went into hiding and maybe never showed up again, until today.

“Do you think she's a witch?” Andy asked you and you inclined your head. “I don't think so. If she would have powers, then she has two different eye colours or a piece of a different colour in one eye.”

“You have only one eye colour,” Booker mentioned unnecessarily.

“I know, it was gone after I lost my powers. Booker you saw her closer than we could have. Do you remember her eyes?”

“Only one colour,” he answered and you believed him.

“She could wear contact lenses,” Nicky considered and you shook your head. “It's rarely to have different eye colours. But for our peace of mind Booker could do a background check on her, if she's dangerous, we will find out.”

“I will do it, just for safety,” Booker agreed and took a sip from his drink.

Nicky smirked cynically. “And I thought we could have a uneventful week for once.”

“That's would be boring,” you responded sarcastically and you all laughed.

Booker found out that your descendant wasn't dangerous. You hadn't incommon much, besides your family name and appearance. She was born in the U.S., worked as a nurse and was married. Booker told you that your family emigrated in the eighteenth century from today's Germany in the U.S. and remained there until today.

You didn't care about the new informations. You only cared about your current family. Nicky and Joe, Booker, and of course Andy. You didn't regret being an immortal, you met the love of your life and you couldn't be happier.

“I was weird to see a person that looks exactly like you. Now I look at you and I can tell you aren't the same. You have an old burnt scar on your left hand and your muscles are defined. You are talented with the cross bow and your father's long sword. You always smile when you look at me and tell me how happy you are that you had met me. And I love you so much that I couldn't bear to lose you,” Andy whispered in your ear when she hugged you from behind in the middle of the night.

“I love you, too, Andromache.”

***

What do you think?

#the old guard #the old guard fanfic #the old guard x reader #andromache the scythian #andy x reader #andromache the scythian x reader #nicolo di genova #yusuf al kaysani #the old guard booker #sebastien le livre #joe x nicky #nicky x joe #yusuf x nicolo #andromache of scythia #andromache of scythia x reader

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buckyscrystalqueen · 3 years

Text

Too Smart for Your Own Good: Part 6

Pairings: (Past) Machine Gun Kelly x Reader, (Past and Future) Henry Cavill x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, PTSD, nightmare, abandonment, dick move on Henry’s part.

Word Count: 6,068

A/N: Doesn’t have a completed end yet, but just giving you more content to try to get myself out of a writing funk.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first night you were back in LA was the first night Henry really slept, but it was at a great cost. You were sound asleep in his arms, when his grip tightened painfully around your chest, but thankfully not around your stomach. You tried calling out his name softly to pull him from his nightmare, but all that managed to do was make him grab ahold of your wrist when you tried to move it to shake him awake.

“Siri, call Dad on speaker.” You said as evenly as you could, as you tried to keep the panic and pain out of your tone. When he grumbled through the speaker, you took as deep of a breath as you were physically capable of to seek his help. “Daddy, I need you to calmly, and quietly come to my room to help me. Henry’s having a nightmare and I can’t get out of his grip to help. But you have to be calm.” You finished quickly when you heard him rush out of bed. “Calm, Negan. Please, for your granddaughter’s sake.”

“OK.” He growled angrily before hanging up the phone a few moments before he pushed open your bedroom door. “What do you need?”

“Get on the bed behind him.” You strained as you shifted your body weight as much as you could to try to pin the arm that was under you to the mattress. “Then lean over him and lay across his upper arm as best as you can. Then grab both of his wrists, gently, but firmly, and hold them. Just be careful of where your elbow is and the baby.”

“Why...?”

“Because I don’t know how he’s going to react to waking him up out of this.” You hissed over Henry’s grumbling. “Just do it.” With a heavy sigh, your father climbed onto your bed and followed your instructions to a t. You glanced up at him as best as you could to see his nod, took a deep breath, and shouted your fiancé’s name. As you expected, his grip tightened the slightest bit in fear, but Negan held on to his wrists so his grip couldn’t tighten any more than that. The next move he made as was expected as to get his arms free to fight back, but with you and Negan placed the way you were, he wasn’t able to get far with that either.

“Henry.” You said evenly and calmly around the knot in your throat. “Henry, you’re OK. You’re home, and you’re safe. It’s (Y/N) and Negan. You’re safe.” You kept repeating yourself for a few more moments until the fight in him completely disappeared, and was replaced with a new kind of panic.

“What did I do?” He asked, fearfully as your dad slowly sat up and let go of his wrists. “What did I do?!”

“You’re OK.” You repeated like a broken record as Negan flipped on your bedroom light for you. “You were having a nightmare and you tensed up around me. Dad just came into help...”

“Did I hurt you?” He asked quickly as he instantly let you go, sat up, and pushed himself across the bed to put as much distance between you as he could. “Did I hurt the baby?!”

“No, you didn’t.” You said as you ran your fingers through your hair and sat up against the head board. “I’m fine, and she’s fine. You weren’t near my stomach...”

“Oh Jesus Christ.” He gasped as he covered his face with his hands for a moment, only to look back at you. “I’m sorry. My love, I am so sorry.”

“It’s OK.” You repeated as you reached out and carefully touched his knee. “We’re all OK...”

“Need me anymore, Princess?” Negan asked as he got off the bed, knowing that if you were truly scared, you would say so.

“We’re OK for now.” You told him as you searched his tired eyes. “Thank you, Daddy. Sorry I woke you.”

“Any time.” He said, seriously. “I’ll leave my phone on.” You thanked him once more as he headed out of your room to smoke a cigarette or two before going back to bed, and you turned your full attention back to your fiancé.

“You didn’t hurt me, Henry.’ You repeated as you scooted closer to him and very gently picked up his hand. “Feel for yourself. Your arms were here... and here.” He nodded his head and gently traced the path on your skin, feeling for any broken bones, or tender spots you may have had. “You were no where near the baby, who is still squirming away.”

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, it’s OK, I promise.” You repeated as you reached up to touch his cheek slowly. “The only reason I called my dad was because I didn’t know how you’d react waking up suddenly like that, and I’m a bitty thing compared to you. I’m not strong enough to hold you still, but Negan is. So I called in reinforcements, but only because I’m pregnant.”

“Goddamnit.” He gasped as he started to tear up. “Darling...”

“Henry, take a deep breath for me.” You interrupted as you scooted a little bit closer. “I’m OK. We’re OK. I’m not mad, and I’m not scared, just a bit shaken. But here’s what we do know. You’re going to have nightmares. And now, knowing that, we can prepare ourselves for them better. There’s so many things we can try...”

“Like me sleeping in a whole different bed.” He interrupted as he reached out for his pillow, but you put your hand on it before he could pull it away.

“Henry, we have the biggest bed known to man kind.” You giggled. “You’re not going somewhere else. So let’s run through my ideas before we even consider that as a step, OK?” You kept your hand where it was and waited for him to nod, before getting out of bed and pulling open the curtains that lined the glass doors that lined your room. “Free white noise machine.” You told him as you held the buttons that pulled open the doors the same way it did in your living room and most of the west facing rooms in your house. “And lavender essential oils help. We can try weighted blankets, or look into a service dog. We can try journaling or we can start doing nightly meditation before bed.”

“I need to go see someone.” He said as he watched you tie up the curtains to see if you were in pain at all and trying to hide it. “Don’t I?”

“That’s an option, too.” You said with a nod as you came back to bed. “But all of those things need to be exhausted before we consider sleeping in different rooms, because we both know neither of us want that. And you can’t try to keep yourself awake to avoid this, Henry. You’ll only make it worse, you hear me?” He nodded his head and kept watching your face as you laid down on your side and scooted closer to the middle. “So let’s try this for now. We sleep in the middle, with a little space because I know that’s what will make you the most comfortable, and simply hold hands. You can get as close, or as far as you need, but I need to know you’re in bed with me, too. I need you here...”

“OK.” He sighed, hating the idea of possibly hurting you again, but hating the idea of sleeping without you even more. You gave him a reassuring smile as he got back in under the blankets and let you take his hand to hold.

“See?” You asked when he stiffly found an only partially comfortable way to lay, while you turned off the room light. “Not ideal, but it’s what you need for now. And I get that. Just listen to the waves, and focus on just my thumb. Feel it on the side of yours?” He nodded as he searched your eyes in your darkened room.

“Good. Focus on that. I know we’re both going to be up worrying about the other person for the rest of the night, so if you want to talk, I’m here. And if you don’t, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere... well, other than the bathroom real quick.” You giggled as you pulled back to run over to your ensuite. “But that’s your daughter’s fault, not mine.” You were only gone a few moments, but when you came back, Henry had scooted even farther back from your spot, causing you to smirk. “You know, I can scoot across this bed, too, mister.”

“You should...”

“I’m not going anywhere, Henry.” You reminded him evenly as you grabbed your body pillow out from under your bed and laid back down in front of him, just far enough away that you couldn’t touch him with your toes without stretching, but so you could still reach his hands. You set up the pillow to make yourself more comfortable, and you could almost see relief on his face at the sight of the cotton blockade. “Yes, I can use this every night.” You answered to his unasked question. “Puts less of a strain on my back when I can’t rest her on your hip anyways.”

“OK.” He whispered as he daringly scooted a half inch closer to you.

“I love you, Henry.” You said softly as you laced your fingers with his and started rubbing his thumb again. “And I’m not mad or scared of you, do you hear me? We are going to get through this together.” He barely nodded in agreement as tears welled in his eyes, which he quickly closed to hide them.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Henry went to his first appointment with a PTSD therapist, you agreed to go shopping for maternity clothes. It was one thing that you hadn’t wanted to accept, but it was undeniable- your old clothes could no longer stretch to fit your 18 week along bump, and you could only live in bathing suits, and unbuttoned, held closed by hair ties jeans and shorts for so long, anyways. So Henry made you a deal as he tried to close your jeans under your stomach that morning. He’d go to the therapy appointment he’d been indecisive about, if you caved and bought pants that fit. Which meant you both left the house with scowls on your faces, even though yours was for a different reason.

You had barely paid for two smoothies at a place you had never been to before, that was a purposeful choice on your behalf, when your purse started to vibrate under your arm like you were expecting it to. Your heart still skipped a beat as you looked at an old caller ID photo, and answered the call with a small, knowing smirk.

“Baby? You OK?”

“I’m fine…” He said quickly. “I’m sorry… I lied to you.”

“You lied to me?” You asked as you pulled out a pair of reusable straws because you hated the paper ones that a lot of places in LA used now. “How did you lie to me?”

“I was told to tell you that this doctor wanted to do a family consult the first visit. And now, he won’t see me until my family gets here. Which means you…” A small smile pulled at the corner of your lips as you grabbed the two smoothies you had ordered, and nodded at the woman who made them.

“See, now… I vaguely remember a distant conversation…”

“I know.” Henry laughed as you opened the door of your car and set the drinks in the cupholders.

“Could it have been yesterday? No, maybe last week some time…”

“You know as well as I do…”

“Where I asked you if I should be there like my research showed.” You finished over him as you turned on your car, and checked your surroundings to back out of your spot. “You should be glad I still don’t listen to you.”

“I’m sorry, my love.”

“And you should be really lucky I picked the smoothie place that was two blocks away from where your appointment is on purpose, because I knew that no matter how much you swore he never said that…”

“I’m never going to live this down…” Henry said to you and someone in the office. “Never…”

“I hope you still like strawberry, blueberry, and kiwi.” You said as you grabbed a spot next to his Charger and hung up the phone. You grabbed your belongings and headed inside right on time for the therapy appointment, like you had planned since he had made the appointment.

“You are something special.” Henry said as he stood up to kiss your cheek.

“You’ve obviously forgotten who I am, baby.” You laughed as you glanced at the door that was opening to let a patient out.

“You must be Henry.” The man that stayed in the doorway asked with a smile as he took a clip board with Henry’s paperwork from the woman at the desk. “And…”

“(Y/N).” You said as you handed Henry his smoothie so you could shake the therapist’s hand. “Fiancée.”

“Come on back.”

“This why you left before me?” Henry asked as he gently pushed you forward.

“It is.”

“Well thank you for that.”

“OK.” The doctor said as he closed the door behind you in his office. “I’m Doctor Maxwell. Let’s get started…”

——

“So how did you know?” Henry asked as you headed back to get some shopping for both of you done after dropping off his car after his appointment.

“You can’t look at me when you lie to me.” You told him as you reached across the middle console of your Range Rover to rest your hand on his thigh while he drove. “You never have been able to. You always look just to the right, at the little scar I have there…”

“Here is one of the downsides to dating a genius.” He laughed as he squeezed your hand for only a moment at a red light. “She never forgets anything and notices everything.”

“Like an elephant.” You nodded. “I don’t call you out on it, though. Nor do I hold it against you. It’s human nature to conceal things that you believe are not pertinent, or that you believe will hurt or inconvenience the other person. The only person I don’t let it slide from is Negan.”

“I don’t lie often.”

“Twenty-seven times.” You agreed with a nod. “In the four years, seven months, and twelve days we’ve been together, obviously excluding the six years, two months, and twenty-one days…”

“Of course you know that to the day.” He laughed as he pulled into a parking spot in front of the first maternity store you wanted to go to.

“Elephant.” You laughed as you bent over to grab your bag at the same moment your daughter stretched. You felt the hair tie that was holding your pants together pop, and you let out a groaned sigh. “This damn child just broke my pants!” Henry paused before getting out of the car to look over at you while trying to hold back a laugh. “Don’t…”

“Love, that is hysterical!”

“Just… give me your belt.” You hissed as you mentally thanked your father for tinting your windows as dark as he did so your panties weren’t on display for the whole world to see.

“Now aren’t you glad we’re going shopping?” He laughed as he handed you the strip of brown leather.

“You are never going to let me live this down, are you?” You laughed as you wrapped the long belt around you nearly twice, and tied it.

“I will when you let this morning go.”

“Well you just had that one coming.” You laughed as you re-grabbed your purse and got out of the car. “Your fault.” He put his hand on the small of your back and kept you to his right, closer to the shops, down to the Moms the Word store. The two woman working in the small shop both looked up at you, down at your belt situation, and back at you with small shakes of their head.

“Finally gave in and accepted you can’t fit in regular clothes anymore?”

“I didn’t have a choice.” You muttered with a glance up at Henry’s smirk.

“Well let’s get you into shorts that are actually comfortable to wear first, then we’ll go from there. We see this all the time.”

“I’ll be here, darling.” Henry said as he took your bag from you, and grabbed a seat on the circular couch center piece. “Enjoying the show.” You did your best to get everything you could possibly need in one store, but you had no choice but to drag him to a second to finish up. You stopped for lunch at a Greek food cart Ashleigh had shown you years prior, and complained about being to hot to eat outside, so he wasn’t forced to sit in the loud crowd of people gathering for lunch.

You could tell he was silently grateful when you put up the sun shade you rarely used, and you over exaggerated how nice the AC felt to make him feel just a little less awkward after spilling his heart out about what had triggered him in the past three weeks since he’d been back- which were also all things that you had asked him to do, that made you feel absolutely horrible for putting him through his own personal hell. You gave him to option to either pick stores he wanted to grab clothes from, since a lot of his old ones were just a bit to tight for his new muscles or to head home and call it a day, and in typical Henry fashion, he was in and out of three stores in under an hour with nearly a whole new wardrobe.

“I hate that you can do that.” You said as you got in the passenger side of your car to go home.

“Do what?” He asked as he tossed his bags in the trunk with all of yours, and headed around to the drivers side. “What did I do?”

“I hate that you can go into a store, try on two things, and walk out with like four bags of stuff. Men have it so easy.”

“Oh, don’t be jealous.” He laughed as he pulled out into traffic to head home. “I’m just hitting my breaking point.”

“I figured as much.” You said as you put your hand on his thigh again. “And now, I vote for a nice dip in the pool, maybe a nap…”

“A naked nap?” He asked smoothly with a glance over in your direction.

“You know I’m a big fan of naked naps. Oh, Goddamnit. Just… put it in reverse and run him the fuck over.”

“No matter how much I would love to.” Henry said as he led the honking purple Lamborghini down your street. “I can’t.”

“Pretty please?” You begged with a pout.

“Can’t do it, my love. Don’t want you having my step daughter in prison for vehicular manslaughter…”

“Just yell at Jim that he’s OK to come in.” You said as he pulled into the right lane while you hit the gate button. “Man, he better hope that Negan isn’t home.”

“I’ll take the bags upstairs for you, darling.” He told you softly when he finally pulled into your garage. “Just don’t get too…”

“Who the FUCK do you think you are?!” Negan roared as he stormed out of the house toward the stupidly expensive car. You and Henry both raced out of your car to stop him as Colson got out to confront your dad before confronting you.

“No. Daddy, stop.” You tried as you stopped just short of the two men.

“What, you can’t even bother to tell me you’re fucking back in town? I have to see you on the fucking streets?!”

“Check your fucking voicemails, Colson. I left thirty of them when I was leaving the country, another ten when I was in England, and I left another six when I got back to LA. I also left one hundred and nineteen texts in that time frame, on top of the fourteen emails I sent, and I got ahold of Ashleigh at each stage and had her pass messages on to you as well, which I know she did. So please, tell me what I was supposed to do from there to get your attention, huh? Hire a sky writer? Send up smoke signals, what?”

“Oh, don’t you dare fucking mock me right now. That’s my kid…”

“And right now she’s in my fucking body!” You snapped back.

“And you took her out of the country on vacation…”

“She took me to see my parents.” Henry tried, but you and Negan both reached out to silently tell him to stay out of it.

“It wasn’t a vacation, Colson. Far from it. But it gave us a starting point to what we needed to do to help him get better after he spent six years as a prisoner of war. So excuse me if placating your big, macho ego falls in third on my list of priorities after making sure our daughter is healthy, and making sure my fiancé, who I just got back in my life mind you, is OK. I told you, I don’t play fucking games. So now, you need to leave. You can see I’m back, and you can see I’m healthy. Baby girl is kicking away and happy as can be, but until you want to grow the fuck up, and answer the Goddamn phone when I call you regarding her, you’re not fucking welcome here. We talked about that, remember? Both of us in her life. That means you actually have to fucking do that.”

“You know what, you’re worse than fucking Emma.” Colson said as he pulled open his car door. “With your ‘I’m better than you’ bullshit. And that’s fucking saying something. I’m done. Raise the kid with your rugby loving basket case.”

“I’d think long and hard about making that choice, mate.” Henry said before you could respond as he stepped up to your side with a small shake of his head. “Because I’ve only been back a month, and I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll be raising that little girl for the rest of my life the moment I walked through that door. But that’s what being a man is all about, stepping up when a boy isn’t capable?”

“You son of a bitch!” Colson said as he lunged toward Henry, but Negan jumped between them while Henry moved you back behind him out of the way.

“Get in your fucking car!” Your dad shouted as he pushed your baby daddy back. “Get your fucking shit together, and man the fuck up before you fucking think of coming back!”

“Fuck you!” Colson shouted as he got in his car and angrily slammed the door. “And fuck you for trapping me into this!”

“Oh, I’m gunna fucking kill him.” You growled over the sound of his engine roaring to life as you lurched forward with the intention of knocking him out. Henry caught you carefully around the middle and pulled you back into his chest. “Fuck you!”

“OK, that’s enough excitement for today.” He said gently as he turned you around so you didn’t see Colson mark up your driveway when he peeled out of it. “Let’s go inside, now, before I actually chase him down and run him over with my car.”

“If you do, take the truck.” Negan grumbled as he headed back toward the front door. “Because if you don’t, I will on my way back to the club house.”

“Both of you are wrong.” You said loud enough for your dad to hear, too. “I’ll be the one running him over if any of us do.”

——

You had no idea what heaven really was until you were laying on it. You saw an ad for the Cozy Bump pillow/ pool float pop up on the edge of a website you were reading to review car seats, and you couldn’t stop yourself from buying it because your back depended on it’s existence. It had arrived just that morning a few minutes after Henry had left for his appointment, and you woke up Negan, and his favorite flavor of the week so he would blow it up for you. Which lead you to complete nirvana.

You didn’t even bother putting a bathing suit top, just bottoms as Negan chucked it into the pool to go and get his day started. And you also couldn’t wipe off the giant smile on your face as you took the stairs down from the patio off your bedroom on the second floor down to the first where your infinity pool was. You weren’t even mad at having to swim halfway across the pool to retrieve it. You just wanted to use your damn float! And as you carefully got on, putting your bump in the cut out hole, and situating your breast in their own cut out, you realized that this purchase was the absolute best thing you had ever done in your life.

That is how Henry found you when he got back, sleeping on your float, in the shade from the upper balcony, holding onto the edge with your foot so you wouldn’t burn in the sun. He softly called your name once, before heading up to the room to put his own swim suit on; deciding that watching you relax sounded much better than his previous idea of a run down the beach. He grabbed himself a beer from the pool bar’s fridge and walked down the steps, putting your foot back on the raft for you so he could hold it still instead.

“You’re alright, my love.” He soothed softly when you startled at the movement. “I’ve got you.”

“Ashleigh’s coming over for a pool date...”

“I’ll get you a top when she calls.” He interrupted with a smile. “Sleep.” You nodded your head and drifted off for a minute, but the small rise in your adrenaline from being startled kept you from falling back asleep completely.

“How was therapy?” You asked as you reached out to grab his knee to pull yourself closer.

“Stressful, as usual. But enlightening.” He sighed as he reached out with his dry hand and pushed your hair back to see your face better. “I think we should start trying to go out for meals. Maxwell suggested that could be a way to desensitize to loud sounds before the baby comes. I just...” He sighed as you opened your eyes to look at him with a small smile, knowing exactly what he was trying to say, but waiting for him to voice it the way he needed to to claim his fear. “I... I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t really know if it’s loud noises that trigger me, or big groups, or if they are even a trigger at all…”

“Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Cavill?” You cooed as you propped your head up on your other arm with an even bigger smile. He met your eyes and his fear slipped away in his smile.

“Why yes ma’am, yes I am.” You nodded your head as your smile grew even more.

“I think I can pencil you in.” He laughed as he set his beer on the side so he could sink deeper into the water with you.

“Just a pencil? I don’t even get a penned in date night?”

“Nope.” You breathed as he turned you so that he could crouch down beside your face. “Now this raft, however. This raft gets penned in.”

“Oh, cheeky!” He laughed as he splashed your back with water. You giggled as you pulled yourself closer with his shoulder so you could kiss him softly.

“I would love to go on a date with you, my love. And I’ll happily do whatever it is you need from me, no questions asked. Well... belly flops are kind of out right now, and so is sky diving...”

“God, I’ve missed your sass.” He laughed as he kissed you once more, before letting go of the raft just long enough to grab your phone. He answered the call from the gate, and told the guard to let Ashleigh in, who knew the override code for your driveway gate and the door by your garage so you didn’t have to get out of the pool. “I’ll go grab a top.”

“Hey, we need to talk about trading your car in.” You said as you pushed yourself up on your elbows while he pulled you over to the side. “Your warranty ends in a few months. We can get you into something new for this new chapter...”

“As long as I’m not getting into a mini van, that’s fine.” He said as he held you just long enough for you to grab the edge of the pool. “Maybe an SUV like yours?”

“Gives us something to figure out at dinner.” You called out as he headed over to the stairs quickly. “And now I’m liking the idea of a mini van!”

“Not happening!” He called over his shoulder as he jogged up the steps. You smiled and laid still for a few more moments, before carefully flipping yourself to the side.

“(Y/N)?!” Ashleigh called out as she stepped out of the elevator at the same time Henry tossed you a mismatched top.

“Out here!” You yelled as you tied up the straps, and put your raft on the side of the pool. “Love, can you grab the sunscreen?”

“OK, you need to fucking quit pestering Kels.” She said as she dropped her bag on a lounge chair and pulled off her cover-up. “And tell Negan to back off, too. Because Kels is making my life a living hell. Hi Henry, welcome home.”

“Ashleigh, I told him from the get go I wasn’t planning on doing this with him.” You said as you threw your hair in a messy bun, and grabbed your sunglasses from the edge. “If he wants his kids to have a relationship, that’s fine. I can accommodate that because it is not their fault they drew the genetic short straw and Emma agrees with me on that one. But either way, I will always be disinclined to acquiesce to his demands when it comes to my child unless he is willing to follow the same demands himself.

And I am also disinclined to placate him when he drives to my house, honking his horn and causing a scene because he’s mad he didn’t answer the ample communications regarding my daughter in the first place. I won’t do it. I refuse. My child, my fiancé, and my family... fuck, even my work come before some immature man child who refuses to grow up. If he thinks my daughter will be raised in the way Casie was, he’s got another thing coming. No offense to Emma.” Ashleigh looked a little stunned as Henry simply took the sunscreen bottle from your hands and turned you around in the pool to do your back for you, having heard this same rant the night before as you were getting ready for bed.

“Well damn.” She said after a moment as you did your front and face with the SPF 50. “OK.”

“Look, like I said, I’m in charge here, because I know what his life looks like. I’ve heard all the songs, I’ve read between the lines of his lyrics. I know the life he lives and has lived. And I know what his life is going to look in ten, twenty years from now because of it. And I won’t have my child raised in that. I did not go into this pregnancy to compromise her upbringing with someone else, especially someone who isn’t ready to be the parent he claims to want to be. And I’ve told him that countless amounts of times. So no, I will not quit ‘pestering’ when he crosses a line he drew himself. And no, I will not tell Henry, who is actually ready to be a parent on the same page as I am, not to call my child his daughter and not his step daughter because he will still be around in ten or twenty years, doing right by her. And I will never, ever tell Negan to back off protecting his daughter, and granddaughter. And you can feel free to pass that all along to him. Because from what I’ve learned from Emma, he’s not going to hear it coming from me.”

“So you talk to Emma?” She asked as she grabbed a pineapple float from near the bar and got in the pool.

“I talk to Emma on a weekly basis.” You said with a nod as you grabbed your new float and got back on it with Henry’s help. “I’ve gotten her opinion on how she raised Casie, and how Colson parents her. I’ve talked to Casie about her dad, and what they do when they spend time together. And I’ve talked to both of them about how they feel having me and the baby integrate into their lives, and how we could go about doing that with, or without Colson. He said he wanted his daughters to be in each other’s lives, so I will do that for them. But I won’t subject her to his tomfoolery.”

“Who uses that word now, my love?” Henry teased as he sat in his favorite chair raft and kicked his feet up on the edges of your float so he was keeping you close to him and out of the sun.

“Shut up.” You laughed with a glance back at him.

“He’s a good person, (Y/N).” Ashleigh sighed, knowing that you were right and being fair as she hooked her feet on the edge of the pool in the sun to work on her tan. “He really is. He’s just...” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders, which made you nod.

“He never had to grow up.” You finished for her. “And his drug use stunted the mental capacity to do so. And I don’t hold that against him.”

“I kinda do.” Henry said as he slowly started rubbing your feet for you.

“And even if Henry does, he understands where I’m coming from when I say I’ll let him in her life. But the quicker Colson realizes that I am not going to cater to the bullshit, the faster he will be able to spend time with the child he wants in his life. On my terms. In my home. Away from the drug use, and the partying, and the revolving door of women. Negan has to live by the same rules here, so I know I’m not being ridiculous, and I know it’s possible. He’s not exempt unless there’s a lock down. And he knows that if I can’t lock down here, we will be locked in his bedroom, completely off limits from the rest of the club like I was when I was a child, or more likely, we will flying to England to visit Henry’s parents, or to another safe place until it’s safe to come home and be in my own home again.”

“As your cousin, and a mother, and someone who sees his lifestyle on a daily basis, and who knows yours, I get it. I’m not holding it against you. This was never a match up I saw just falling into place. But I’ll talk to him, OK? Maybe she can be the one that can help make the changes he needs, not just for his own life, but to be an even better father to Casie as well. Not that he’s a bad father to her as is.”

“Never said he was.”

“I know.” She sighed with a nod. “It’s just... man, you guys got me stuck between a rock and a hard place.”

“That I will apologize for. But only that.”

Part 7

#too smart for your own good #machine gun kelly x reader #mgk x reader #henry cavill x reader #colson baker x reader

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ganjastrology · 4 years

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Venus in Gemini 2020 - How Ganja Babes Do Retrogrades

venus entered gemini and will be chilling with her for a while*. the first month she’ll just be doing her regular thing, but then she’ll swing backwards or *~retrograde~* around mid may for about a month and a half and that’s gonna be “interesting” . after that she does this cute thing called a shadow period where she starts going forward again and getting back to her regular business. after about a week, the gemini chapter ends and she heads into cancer.

*(entered on 4/3/20, will retro 5/13/20, go direct 6/25/20, shadow period till 7/29/2020, leaves for cancer 8/7/2020)

heres whats happening with your sun moon and rising if you’re a hot girl who smokes weed (which I know is the majority of us 💚)

aries - she’s in your 3rd house. expect some dope convos with ur squad. smoke them out. catch up on some homework together. when she retrogrades, there’s a risk of miscommunications (even tho these aren’t always necessarily bad). watch ur deadlines. u can read old texts if u want but u know the risks going in. once she starts going direct, u can clear up any friction with people, & expect some super happy random memories to resurface.☎️

taurus - she’s in your 2nd house. good time to lean into some kitchen witch stuff, smoke and try some recipes, or a new cute fitness routine. you have online shopping energy, everything looks like it was made just 4 u. honestly it is a pleasant time to treat yourself. when she retrogrades, don’t freak out but you might low key be a lil broke. thats ok bc as long as you keep a weed stash u can stay cute and comfy. when she goes direct again, money stuff will sort itself out. focus on your physical health.🛍

gemini - she’s in your 1st house. ur gonna be feelin extra cute. everything will look good on u. it’s a good time to smoke and try some looks, have a lil 80s fashion montage and stare at ur self in the mirror for a little while. when she retrogrades, things might not feel quite as cute but rest assured it all definitely is. consider revisiting some clothes you haven’t experimented with in a while. upcycle some of them into rags or other things. when she goes direct again, you’ll be leaning into an updated, more refined aesthetic. a glow up, if you will.👩‍🎤

cancer - she’s in your 12th house. time 4 naps, baths, incense, meditation, and of course, water pieces such as your bong or bubbler. there’s general desire to enjoy ur alone time. maybe if you don’t usually get to spend time with just u and ur thoughts. an opportunity 2 do so presents itself. when she retrogrades, expect some extra happy sleepy hazey vibes. be careful that other people’s vibes aren’t influencing yours too much. as a matter of fact, *watch* the vibes of those around u. be selective abt who u share ur weed with. when she goes direct again, you will be a well rested baby. your boundaries and patience may have been stretched little but u come out the other side stronger and cuter.🎏

leo - she’s in your 11th house. your social media presence is cute af, and u can be assured that u are loved by a squad. ur future is looking bright, no matter what u choose to do with your time rn. hit your bong and let yourself dream about your long term goals. its vision board time bb. when she retrogrades, you might have some temporary setbacks to one of your longer term goals try not 2 get pessimistic abt the future. your goals might change after you get some new info. when she goes direct again, your life vision is updated, its ~cuter~, if you had any messy vibes during the retro period, you bounce back and build confidence in doing so. ur doing amazing, sweety. 🔮

virgo - she’s in your 10th house. your neighbors who see u occasionally thru the windows and at the grocery store think you are soo cute. and they are correct. your life aspirations are looking super promising, and you can build up whatever life u want for yourself. when she retrogrades, you do run the risk of feeling less cute than u actually are. someone might recognize or see you when ur not feeling quite ready to be seen, but pls rest assured that you are always probably cuter than u feel. don’t let anyone hate on your dream life building process. when she goes direct again, you might be a little more ok w being seen & letting your aspirations b known. pack yourself a nice reward bowl and take a selfie.🎀

libra - she’s in your 9th house. perfect time to become pen pals with someone imo, u know you’ve got cute handwriting. bless your school supplies w ganj smoke. stuffs starting to really “click;” whatever you’ve been studying is getting a new *~look~*. consider getting a cute new journal. when she retrogrades remember to check on your school work, and any adventure plans u may have had. u might experience some mental roadblocks which lead you to new way of seeing something. when she goes direct your perspective on your life will be different; good different. take a nice long stoned walk with a cute mask on.📬

scorpio - she’s in your 8th house. we both know it’s time for a closet purge. Get rid of whatever isn’t working anymore. clean ur sex toys. have some edibles and update your collection of nudes. when she retrogrades, u may find yourself missing ur old things but that’s ok, things change. u might start feeling hyper critical of ur nudes but remember that you are still that bitch. when she goes direct, you, friend, are on the verge of a total aesthetic rebuilding. a change from the inside begins to show itself on the outside. your confident sexy energy has returned.📀

sagittarius - she’s in your 7th house. ur collabin’ on projects with ur friends, ur doin the zoom coffee dates, ur smokin out the squad, u already know everyone loves u. when she retrogrades, an old life character returns, maybe someone who hasn’t crossed your mind in a long time. someone whose dms you slid into out of boredom might reach out to you. are these good things? idk bb follow ur heart! when she goes direct, u might b letting someone go, or sweetly reconnecting with someone, probs a little bit of both both. someone’s place in your life is getting a lil bit of a downgrade and making room for someone else’s upgrade. it’s a different vibe but u make it work.🤹‍♀️

capricorn - she’s in your 6th house. as we already know, you have been organized, meals have been prepped, groceries are shopped, you are rolling with things. if you haven’t already, now is a super cute time to start, or revisit a bullet journal for even more cute daily brain organization. sometimes i like to smoke and try out different layouts and i think u would too. when she retrogrades, any existing routines you’ve created for urself might get a little disrupted and have to change a little (this could apply to school, work, whoever you live with, anything day 2 day). rest assured that no matter what you will be able to keep things cute. when she goes direct again, you life’s order should b restoring itself, and any errands you’ve been behind on will be caught up so dont even worry. breathe&take a hit.🎸

aquarius - she’s in your 5th house. creative projects you’ve got going on are about to go swimmingly. ur lil brain is probably just bursting with dope ideas and i am proud of u. this is a very sexy time period, perfect for spending time experimenting with edibles. when she retrogrades, you might feel a little bit of insecurity regarding your creative endeavors, maybe just a lil loss of confidence for whatever reason. consider looking back thru your old stuff, old art pieces, old music you’ve made, anything you started or finished, and I bet its actually pretty dope and cool. when she goes direct again, you can expect to be finishing a project up and maybe even have a cooler one lined up who knows. some of that natural aquarian confidence will come back, much to ur loved one’s delight.🎈

pisces - she’s in your 4th house. try to reconnect with your family of choice. even just a casual text. ur inner child will feel pretty content and chill. being at home will feel extra cozy and nice. hit your bong whilst wrapped in a blanket and watch a cartoon. when she retrogrades there might be some fam drama, even if it doesn’t necessarily revolve around u. you might something find offsetting your comfort zone or challenging some of ur boundaries. remember not to let anyone mess with u bb. when she goes direct again, expect some healing within your fam unit. Some nice happy memories return will come to your mind’s forefront.🧸

hope ur high right now bb sweet dreams♊️💕🌿🌸🌺🍣♊️

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tweeterbugkayla · 4 years

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If there’s anyone who’s dealing with stress/anxiety during this hard time that our world is going through, this is for them and you didn’t stumble across this accidentally. The universe has made this appear to you for a reason. I hope this will help at least someone who’s been overwhelmed by everything and can use some of these techniques in your everyday routine. Reblog/share or tag anyone who needs this!

Everyday when you wake up set the intention it will be a good day. Just realize it’s a new fresh day and nothing will ruin it for you because your intention on it being a good day will play out to it being the best day. Feel it’s a new day and yesterday is the past. It’s gone.

Immediately after you set the intention it’s a new day and it’s gonna be a good one, just for a second think of 1 thing you’re grateful for whether it be just you waking up to see another day, family, pets, roof over your head, the bed you slept in, food, wifi. Anything! Feel it.

Once you get up, go have a glass of water & take vitamins (Multi-vitamins are good.) Instead of coffee that can make you anxious, have a cup of hot tea. (Green, Chai, Lavender, lemon & ginger, black, white) There’s more benefits! It’s calming and healthy for your mind & body.

Now if there’s one thing at all you take from this, let this be it! It’s scientifically proven that delta/beta sound waves and frequencies can effect the mind & body. 432 hz meditation music is so helpful for stress and anxiety. There’s something for everything, healing, stress, sleep, positive energy, cleansing and so much! Use this! https://youtu.be/owVazx83hcc

youtube

While you’re listening to positive music to help your vibrations and drinking hot tea, this is the time I recommend getting out a notebook and making a gratitude list. Write down any and everything you’re grateful for. Having gratitude brings you abundance. Focus on what you have now rather than what you don’t have. “If you focus on what you don’t have instead of what you already have, you’ll never have enough” - Oprah

Take the time right after to feel everything you’re grateful for and meditate. Doesn’t matter how long. Take deep breaths then clear your mind. The apps Headspace & Calm can guide you. There’s also guided meditations for anything on youtube. Crystals also help if you have them. Count 10 of your breaths then start again. Focus on your breathing. Remember. You’re not your thoughts. Imagine a river in your mind flowing and your watching each thought you have go down the stream. Instead of engaging in the thought, just let it go.

A personal thing I always do after meditation is pray/manifest. The reason being is my mind is cleared and my energy is at the strongest point for my message to be delivered to my guardian angels. I can think clearly about what it is I’m asking God/Universe for without unfocusing and they can hear me clearly. Think of it as singles you’re trying to send someone. You can think a sentence in your mind but if you feel it in your heart and inner core, you’re going to be putting off singles of that can be sensed. Kind of like how your pet can sense if you’re happy or not. Or even your best friend or partner. No one can read your mind, but they can most definitely tell when you’re feeling a certain way. It’s the same kind of energy you want to give out into the universe so your prayers can speak for themselves. The way you feel about things, shows how things mean to you and that’s what’s important.

A good thing that also helps after meditation is yoga. It’s a lot of breathing exercises while stretching your body. Your mind isn’t wondering off in the distance because you’re too busy focusing on breathing and stretching at the same time. You have to really be present. You can look up yoga for beginners for 5 minutes if you’re like me and never tried anything like it before. Surprisingly it’s a lot harder than it looks when you actually dive into it. There’s also 30 day challenges and if you have any yoga clothes stores around you, check to see if they do classes. Look into your community to see if any yoga groups have any sessions you can attend. Great way to meet people who are on the same journey or have been through similar things!

After yoga I keep track of everything I’ve done in a notebook. I write down how long I’ve meditated/yoga and if I had any thoughts that distracted me during it & how I felt afterwards. It helps me think about why I had those thoughts interrupt and what I should do.

Throughout my day I’ll sometimes carry around a crystal with me depending on my mood and what I feel I need. You can research different meanings for them but they’re definitely helpful. If my mind begins to wonder I’ll stop myself and say positive affirmations about myself.

If you’re really having a day and it just feels like nothing you do is working, write down as many things about yourself that you love. Literally rewire your subconscious self-beliefs into believing you love yourself 100 percent. Even if you might think you don’t like something about yourself, write that love it anyways. This is still an everyday journey for myself personally because I may not like certain features about myself but I remind myself at least I have this body to carry my soul and life around into the world. It’s a journey that everyday you have to remember to tell yourself positive things. Fill up an entire page of positive affirmations. Self love is key. Your mind really listens to what you say about yourself. If you constantly tell yourself over and over “I’m so gross, I’m sick, I’m disgusting etc.” your body is going to respond to that message and make you start to feel sick. But if you’re loving and caring to yourself and say “I am healthy, I’m beautiful, I feel so amazing” then you’re gonna feel that way. Start with “I ams” I am beautiful, I am smart, I am abundant, I am healthy, I am grateful and so on. You can even go from head to toe and say you love every inch of each body part. There’s also helpful positive affirmations guided videos on YouTube.

At night time before you go to bed, write down in a journal how your day went and literally just let go and write about anything. No one will see it. It’s just you and your journal. But write. I write about my day and my prayers for the night. I’ve been writing in the journals that @taylorswift attached to the Lover booklets. She’s a very successful woman and guess what, she wrote in journals since she was a little girl. It’s so therapeutic to just let out how you feel on the pages of a book instead of hitting send on that tweet that you might end up deleting because you don’t want people to see how so and so at work hurt your feelings.

I can’t tell you how much this routine has changed my life. It can help yours too. I promise. Try this routine for a month and see how it changes your life, & mindset about yourself. Do your research. There’s so much that’s available to you on these topics. Read self help books like “You Are A Bassass” make vision boards of your dreams and goals. Listen to podcasts. Watch videos like Lavendaire, Isabel Palacios and Leeor! Anything with Oprah talking about her spirituality journey is so inspiring. I even watched “A Wrinkle In Time” because of her.

There’s many other ways that help like working out, coloring, painting, clean, doing your own nails, playing with pets, spending time with family, take baths, have a self care spa day. You can actually get L-Theanine vitamins for stress now, Olley has Goodbye stress gummies. I really hope some of this helps someone. If anyone has any questions please reach out to me. It’s definitely a journey we’re all going through and all we can do is take it one day at a time and continue to move forward with our lives. Always here. ❤️

Also wanted to add some films I’ve watched on Netflix that’s helpful and could help someone too. Healing, The Secret and anything to do with Yoga. Also if anyone has any tips or advice or suggestions I would appreciate them! 😊❤️

Share this with your friends who might find this helpful. ❤️

- Kayla 💗

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stygiantarot · 5 years

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Everyday Witchcraft

Taught on The Alexandria Archives, 7/1/19  ~~~~ I have been incorporating witchcraft and magic into my daily routine for over a decade now. Some of my personal favorite ways are enchanting daily objects like wallets, keys, phones; simple daily kitchen witchcraft like morning cups of tea or coffee, toast/bagels, cereal; and using a shower to do more intensive cleansing and energy work than a simple rinsing of your skin and hair. ~~~~

Why is everyday witchcraft important?

Connection to the world around you: the very central commonality amongst witches and practitioners of varying types and paths is connection. We are connected more than the average person. Connected to life, to love, to death, to the Earth, to the cosmos, to our ancestors, entities, spirits, deities. We are those that understand the sum is greater than the parts deeply. It’s important to maintain that connection. 

Connection to spirits: this can be any type of entity- ancestor, astral, nature, guides, familiars, etc. Being able to regularly communicate with these entities requires upkeep and practice- just like playing an instrument or participating in a sport or exercise activity. It’s a muscle! 

Connection to Deity: If you are theistic, daily connection to your deities is important to keep that relationship meaningful and rewarding for you. It can not only help deepen your direct connection with the deity, but it also helps you steer clear of feeling negative about yourself for “falling behind” or becoming “fractured” in your worship. Worship does not have to be time consuming or costly. It can be done in a daily fashion. It’s all about building habits and routines. 

Connection to Self: As I’ve said in past lessons, you are the absolutely most important tool at your disposal. You need special time daily to help hone that tool and take care of it. There are likely things you already do self-care wise that you haven’t counted as “witchcraft”- guess what? It is! Witchcraft isn’t just the casting of spells, crafting of rituals and worship, imbuing of objects and charms. It’s taking care of your tools; yourself included! 

~~~~~

Creating a schedule

Your life is your own, and only you know how much time, effort, and energy you can put into things. Take a moment to think about your daily schedule and routine and where there are moments of pause and when there are moments of stress and movement.  Don’t beat yourself up or force yourself to be the perfect witch - they don’t exist.  

Take it slow, instead of trying to add a million habits at once. The way a habit is formed is step-by-step. You want to start with something easy. I’m going to use offerings as an example (who the offering is for doesn’t matter). Start with water. You have a single specific cup or vessel that you have set aside. Fill it with water once a day at a certain time of day (close to the same time, but some fluctuation is fine) and leave it out as an offering. Do this daily until it becomes almost like second nature. You pass the cup at a certain time and you automatically take it to the sink to fill. Then you can build on it! Add a cracker or piece of candy- or light some incense or a candle. Do it multiple times a day. Add additional offerings for other entities. Alter it the way that works for you but that foundation is there. That is the heart of making a routine without it feeling like a “job”. Utilize energy and time when you have it. If you can’t do the same routine seven days a week- that is completely normal. I don’t do the same witchy routine all seven days a week! Plot out the best times you have that extra bit of time or usually have a little bit more energy or focus. Work around those times. Start out small; only add to it if you feel you haven’t hit your comfort level yet. If you’re there with only a couple small things a week, that is absolutely fine! ~~~~

Magic throughout the day

Morning:

Write down any dream notes or thoughts you remember. Even just a flash or emotion you have without clear memory.

Open your curtains. Look outside. Absorb the day’s energy into you; let it temper you for your day’s needs. 

Infuse your morning drink with intent by stirring or adding certain flavors 

Draw simple sigils on toast/bagels with toppings or with a bowl of cereal

Take a moment for some daily divination (using an app counts!)

Light a candle or incense burning for a brief moment of focused meditation/relaxation

Leave your morning offerings

Create a glamour when doing your morning bathroom routine (doesn’t have to involve makeup- you can use water, soap, lotion, sunscreen, or just your fingers! 

Take a moment to enchant your “daily pocket/purse items” (wallet, keys, phone, etc.) with intention needed for the day 

Select or create a special “witchy” playlist or podcast to play during your morning, something with the energy you need to push along! 

On your commute, take a moment to bond/communicate with your deities or spirit companions

Create a personal hydrosol scent and have a small spray bottle of it near your door or in your car. Spritz yourself gently before leaving your home. 

Take a moment when starting your car or get ready to take transportation to charge a safe travel charm (should be actually created in advance, the morning action is only for charging it) 

Drink water, refuel, be gentle with yourself. The morning can be intense.

At school:

Doodle sigils on your books and folders

Charge your pencil and pens to let words flow easily

Carry a focus stone or object with you and rub it during lectures to help focus. Then rub it again later while studying the same information.

Swirl a bottle of water before drinking to draw energy to you or banish negativity away. Flavor the water with intention.

Recharge a glamour by playing with hair, clothes, jewelry, accessories  -Stretch when you need to! Take your time walking to a class when you can. Notice the world around you. Reflect.

Practice reading energy fields and other clairsentience types things with fellow classmates or teachers (respect passive boundaries)

Sigils and enchantments on your laptops and phones related to classwork

Dedicating study sessions to your deities

Color correspondences for supplies or clothing

Bring a snack that imbues needed intent

At work:

Enchant your work clothes with intention you feel you need (communication, patience, efficiency, luck, etc.)

Use a specific sigil-based home or lock screen on your phone while at work for additional intention.

Take any moment you can to observe something outside; even through a window or door on your way in or out. Remember that though you may not be amongst it for a chunk of the day, it remains there. Waiting.

If you’re on a break, take an extra minute or two to just close your eyes and recharge. Commune with spirits or deities. Feel yourself piece by piece and think about what your body does for you during the day while you are focused elsewhere.

Bring a plant or crystals into your workspace

Ward and cleanse your workspace

Charm your phone with a sweet talking spell or other action needed for work

  Evening:

Take a moment to decompress. Do not think about plans or the rest of the week. Just look outside and think about how the sun is leaving the sky and soon the moon will appear. Stars will wink at us from that black tapestry. The ground below you and nature around you is cooling off for the day, settling down with the murmur of nocturnal creatures.

Greet any housemates, physical or not and notice their energy and how it might mingle with yours briefly upon your arrival. Notice if you or your housemates energy behaves any differently if you mood is different; whether you directly tell them or not.  

Do some simple kitchen witchcraft for dinner (stirring and basic seasoning is intent!)

Take a moment to research a correspondence or other witchy aspect you’ve been curious about. Write it down on a note in your phone or a prepared scrap sheet for your grimoire/journal.

Write down any thoughts or ideas of a more intensive spell or ritual you’d like to try when you have some time. Write the supplies and time you’d need for it. Think about the ideal way to accomplish it.

Do some meditation, or commune with deity/entities, or do some shadow work (this is a good time to charge your phone as well; a little ways away)

Turn household tasks and chores witchy. Cleanse your dishes energy-wise and recharge them for health and prosperity while you put them away in the cupboards. Sprinkle spell powders on the floor right before vacuuming to release their intent while sucking up some dirt. Sweep away negative energy. Enchant your washer and dryer to do more than just clean your clothes.

Enjoy some hobby, crafting, binging time! You can incorporate some witchy stuff like knot magic, enchanting, spirit companion bonding, etc or you can just recharge yourself!

Work on a witch talent you enjoy for a little while (divination, spellwork, spirit work, crystals, astrology, kitchen witchcraft, etc.) 

Use your nighttime bathroom routine to deepen your cleansing and grounding before bed. Focus on washing your skin not just removing surface dirt and oil but sloughing off the energy that snagged on you during the day like a stray hair. The worries you focused on. The stress you lingered on.

Draw sigils of peaceful sleep and happy dreams, healing, luck on you with lotion or creams.

Brush your teeth in counterclockwise circles to banish negativity

Splash your face with some water playfully. Remember what it is to feel, to touch, to enjoy the simple things. Let yourself chuckle or giggle.

Make sure you drink water!

Have a “sweet dreams” hydrosol by your bedside to spritz on your sheets before lying down.

Arrange your favorite bedside crystals. Touch them, recognize them, greet them.

Say hello to the moon. Share your secrets and worries. Let the moon keep them.

Say goodnight to your deities and spirit companions

#Witchcraft 101 #Everyday witchcraft #basic witchcraft #simple witchcraft #beginner witchcraft #witchy #TAA #stygian original #witchblr #witch tips

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zippdementia · 4 years

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Part 88 Alignment May Vary: Still Frozen

Last post I said that the PCs would end up finding many interesting things in the depths of the iceberg. Let’s jump right into what they find! Just a little note, too, about our changeling character, Ruz. Ruz is in the form of a female, but also has a male’s personality and sometimes that gender. She doesn’t have a preferred pronoun, so I switch back and forth between he and she in my writing, really just going with whatever one comes out of my fingertips as I type. Therefore, this is not a typo, but rather the most accurate way to portray Ruz’s view of her own gender, which is not as open as the term “they” would allow for.

The Weave-Seer

The old man sits as still as if frozen like everything around him. But there is a color in his cheeks and a warmth in his eye that tells you not all is at it seems. As you stare, he raises a wrinkled hand ever so slightly, ever so slowly, and beckons you forward.

Amidst one of the trophy rooms is what could only be described as an exhibit, featuring frozen Ice Warriors from the village above, set in positions that seem meant to simulate their daily lives: cooking around a frozen campfire; raising their spears to an unseen foe; and a building their fur huts. Inside one of the fur huts, however, is the village Shaman who taught Boneweaver. Impossibly old, yet still exuding strength, this Shaman reveals to Imoaza that he is a Weave-Seer and that he can see the Weave like she is starting to (she thinks back to a night spent on board the icebreaker, watching the Weave play through the sky like an impossibly active field of stars). Indeed, Imoaza’s ability to see the Weave begins to come more and more into play in our sessions, as she uses it to do everything from detecting magic to deciphering where the party should go next. The Weave-Seer tells Imoaza that she will one day learn to control it, as he has, but that he has not the time to teach her now, for the world has another path set for her. He tells her, cryptically, “You shall rise as needed. You shall learn from the Weave itself. You shall see when your eyes are open.” Then he snaps his fingers in front of her eyes and Imoaza can see the weave stretching out all around them. This time, it does not fade quickly, but lasts for minutes. And even after, she seems able to call back up her Weave vision. Not all the time... but often enough.

The Weave-Seer also tells the party the history behind this dungeon. It was once the home to an evil White Dragon, who held dominion over the Kobolds of the iceberg and the Ice Villagers who lived above it. But then a goodly Brass Dragon came to the iceberg, drove off or killed the White Dragon, and brought an era of peace to the kobolds and the people of the ice. For five generations, the Brass Dragon and its offspring were worshipped. But then the Witches came. They made a deal with Bone Carver, once the Weave-Seer’s student. She had lost a daughter, and the Witches agreed to bring back her daughter in exchange for breaking the seal on an ancient monster that the Ice Shamans had long ago sealed: the Wendigo. Bone Carver agreed and the Witches used the Wendigo to attack the Dragon. Bone Carver assisted them in capturing the Dragon and the Witches froze it deep inside the iceberg, then enslaved the villagers. But they could not enslave the Shamans, for their magic protected them. Bone Carver remained loyal to the witches, for two reasons: she feared they would take her daughter away again, if she fought them. And two, she desired to learn of their power and how to control it for herself. But the Weave-Seer mocked them, by resealing the Wendigo in a trap he had constructed far from this iceberg and then becoming a resident in the iceberg where they now laired, remaining beyond their power even in their own domain.

The PCs get a little uncomfortable when Weave-Seer talks about trapping the Wendigo, for they rightly piece together that they have accidentally broken that seal and re-released them into the ice again! Indeed, as they talk, one comes sniffing around for them and they trick it into one of the tents, where they ambush and kill it.

The Weave-Seer tells them, too, that this iceberg contains an ancient library, one of the most powerful and oldest in all of Faerun, the Library of Floating Wisdom. He says that three things they need from this dungeon: they need the library, they need to defeat the witches, and they need to find the Dragon. Then, with this proclamation, the old man settles into a meditative position and settles into what seems to be a state of hibernation.

The Ice Maiden.

“This was my home. And yet I hate it, for I have to see it destroyed over and over again.” The young woman in front of you breathes out a sigh that becomes visible as it hits the frozen air, and she wipes away a tear that turns to frost on her blue cheek.

In one room, the PCs find a bizarrely accurate creation of a city street in Brindol, made entirely of ice. Ruz recognizes it because they are from there, originally. The streets lead them down a twisting and winding way deeper into the recreation, and it turns out to be a trap set by Kobolds, using vibrating crystals which deal sonic damage and bring the whole city down on them in an avalanche of crashing ice and snow. The PCs escape from this with some clever maneuvering and the flight spell (not all of the Kobolds are as lucky) and make it to the end of the chamber, which is blocked by a massive wall of ice. Here, they meet the one who built the false city, for it was not the Kobolds. Instead it was a young woman with blue skin and snow-white hair. She approaches them like a shade from out of the flurry of snow and frost left behind by the collapsing city. At first they think she will attack, but instead she is inquisitive, curious, and sad.

She tells them she keeps constructing this area based on her memories of where she grew up, but that it always falls apart in the end. This time it had lasted longer than ever and she had dared to hope she might finish her work and live here, like a citizen in a forgotten world. But alas, it was not to be. She tells them her name is Hazelwood and that she has three mothers: the three witches. They are not her real mothers, they stole her long ago. But now they are her only family.

While they talk, Ruz begins to recognize in Hazelwood the signs of their own people, the Changelings. Ruz also begins to recognize some of the details of her story and pieces together that Hazelwood is the Changeling from the journal he found out on the ice, in the camp where they released the Wendigo. He asks Hazelwood to accompany them and begins to gently remind her of her true nature as a Changeling. This does something to Hazelwood. An icy aura expands out from her and her eyes turn a deep black color. She exudes danger and power and Ruz realizes she is no ordinary Changeling (if “ordinary” could ever be used to describe any Changeling). Imoaza can see the Weave gather and tighten around her, darting in and out of her body like strings on a Marionette. She doesn’t know what this means, but Ruz and her assume that it may have something to do with some glamor or magic cast upon her by the meddlesome Witches. But why did they want to capture her in the first place?

While Hazelwood struggles to pull herself under control, Milosh is deep in his own struggle. As Hazelwood came from the storm, he shot a blast into the wall blocking their exit, intending to escape from any new danger. But the blast sets off another sonic trap that hits him hard and scrambles his circuits and suddenly Milosh’s becomes convinces that he is back on Eberron, living his life before the Surveyor found him and forever changed him. In this vision, he believes he is on a mission, on a train, and his Victorian-styled companions (imagined in this vision to be Imoaza, Hazelwood, and Ruz) are trying to find and dispose of a spy to the empire. He goes so far as to become briefly convinced that Ruz is the spy, and that startles Hazelwood, who makes a series of ice daggers appear in the air around her, poised to strike Milosh. Imoaza walks up and punches Milosh in the face and this... surprisingly... brings him back to himself! However, when everyone turns to see what has become of Hazelwood, she has disappeared back into the snow.

The Scholar.

“I have waited so very long.” The elf is old, very old. Maybe the oldest elf that still walks this earth, though such a thing is difficult to know for certain. But certainly none of you have ever seen one of that race show so many signs of age, and you know those signs only appear when an elf is very close to the end of their years. For this one to have so many wrinkles, be so unable to stand, and have such a shake in their liver spotted hands, belies that he has lived under the threat of his own mortality for a very long time indeed. His voice, however, is still musical and strong and does not quaver like the rest of his body. “My name,” he says, “is Joachir.” He shifts as if he means to rise to greet you, but the effort is too much and instead he pulls the weatherworn remains of his threadbare cloak around him more tightly. You can see that they may have been yellow, once.

The PCs eventually come to the library that the Weave-Seer spoke of. There is a study before its entrance, a reading area, and it is here at an old but beautiful desk that a long time character makes his final appearance. Joachir of the Yellow Robes was brought into my game a very long time ago, in Post FOUR, as a stand in for a quest giver. He was initially intended to be a central figure in a series of side quests that was going to build the characters up from level 3 to level 9 or 10, when I could take them on the Red Hand of Doom storyline. But then a couple of things happened. First, most of the party died during the Ghosts of the Moonsea storyline, involving Reeves Sar Testain and the Mysterious Island village. Second, I discovered the incredibly fun Tomb of Haggemoth campaign and ran that, instead. So Joachir drifted into the background, disappearing over the Dragonfang mountains and not making a reappearance until the Red Hand campaign, arriving to help be a questgiver for the White Plume Mountain adventure, where Black Razor was retrieved. Even then, I didn’t really have plans for Joachir, or understand where he fit in with everything. I think Black Razor is what finally settled me on his behind-the-scenes plot. Once Black Razor became a more integral part of the story, quickly surpassing the other things recovered from White Plume, Joachir suddenly became suspect: why had he sent the PCs to recover this most dangerous weapon?

And then the prophecy emerged, and things became clear to me.,

Joachir greets the players and talks with them a short while, telling them that his time is short and that he has just finished the last words in his life’s work, indicating a thick tome on the table in front of him. When Imoaza questions him about what it is, he tells them to be careful with it, as it is the story of all that is and “sometimes the truth can be dangerous.” Imoaza opens it and reads the first few lines:

“The moon shines down upon the sea which shares its name, its blank face full of the promise of new beginnings. The moon illuminates the prison ship, The Enlightenment, as it sits anchored in the sea, and it illuminates Captain Tolman striding back and forth across its deck in clear agitation, glaring at the mysterious golden island that sits in view off the port side.”

Indeed, this book is essentially Alignment May Vary itself, the story of our adventures. Imoaza flips through more pages, finding sections describing Haggemoth, the Red Hand adventure, and even her own story as she joined the party and they ended up traveling the planes. It ends with the lines:

“They saw the elf close the book as they approached, and realized that he was very old. He looked at them and smiled and told them that the rest of the story was theirs to write, theirs to tell.”

Joachir gives Ruz a ring of cold resistance. He says that it will be useful in defeating the witches. He also tells them that the library ahead of them holds the keys to deciphering the Prophecy, if they can find them. He tells them that the world will survive this story, regardless, but the nature of how it survives and what that looks like will differ drastically based on their actions. He tells them that they walk a path that has been prepared, but not one that cannot be changed. His speech slows the more he speaks and finally he says that it is time for him to return to the endless lands. “It has been so long,” he says. “So long.” And with that, he passes.

The Girl.

She is young, with a soft pigment of brown in her skin, dulled by a lifetime spent away from the sun, like the skin of her people, the tribe of the Ice. She stares out at you with wide, curious eyes and a bold smile that shows neat rows of perfect white teeth.

After speaking with Joachir, the party realizes they aren’t alone. A little girl, clearly of the same ancestry as the tribal ice villagers, comes around the corner of a shelf and approaches them boldly, saying that her mother is Bone Carver. Ruz and Milosh actually debate killing her, so intense is their anger at the villagers and Bone Carver in particular. But even as they prepare to do the deed, they realize that it would be a punishment visited on the innocent, and to murder a child, let alone one who is not showing them any threat, is too intense a deed to be justified by their treatment at the hands of the villagers. So they calm and instead ask her what she is doing here. She tells them that she lives here and that mother is “somewhere around.” In continuing to question her, Ruz begins to come to the revelation that this is actually Hazelwood, having changed into another form. But she doesn’t seem to realize it, or retain memory of what she was at their last, very recent, encounter. From all that he’s learned from the Shaman and from the information he had in the journal, Ruz begins to suspect the full shape of her story. Bone Carver had wanted a child after the death of her own. The Witches agreed to bring her back and in exchange for her helping them defeat the dragon and steal its home, she was given a child that “appeared” to be her own: a child who could take the form of her child. A Changeling child. The Witches used their magic to convince the child that she is indeed Bone Carver’s own, but only until her 19th year. Then their deal is ended, and they take her back, changing her once again into the frosty-skinned maiden, Hazelwood, and claiming her as their own. Only, her family comes seeking her, or hires adventurers to come looking for her. Nine years ago, they find her, but in their return journey, the Witches catch up to them and destroy them on the ice, reclaiming Hazelwood and further adjusting their spells over her to hold her to them.

Realizing all of this, Ruz feels a bond with this girl, whom he knows now is still Hazelwood. She is trapped, as he was trapped, and she is only barely aware of it. He resolves to save her from the grip of the Sisters of Ice, the Witches who await them deep in the iceberg,

The Library.

You look out at a space dominated by shelves made of whale bone, sea-lion skin, and driftwood, holding a haphazard display of books, scrolls, and tomes, seemingly without order. The stillness in the air is like a hesitation, like the world holding its breath to see what you will do next.

The library becomes the stage of a pretty cool scene, where Imoza discovers that the Weave here is pulling elements in from all over time and space, forming a truly endless library, containing potentially any information, as long as a strong enough will can bend the Weave to deliver it. Those with a weak will, or a lack of caution, may instead find themselves lost forever, losing their own knowledge and memories, or may find their greatest fears brought to life in front of them. Forewarned by Imoaza’s Weave-Sight, and a nasty encounter Milosh has with a book that tries to pull him inside of it, the PCs mostly leave this search to her. And what she is looking for is information about the prophecy and how to prevent the end of the world. She finds what she is looking for: a description of the Prophecy and the true meaning of its stanzas, written by the Surveyor who originally recorded the prophecy, the very same one who pulled Milosh from Eberron and set him on his life’s quest. His words take time to translate from the ancient language it is written in, but this is a language Imoaza has studied, for it was connected with her Yuan Ti ancestors. Once translated, it reveals more about the four items they are seeking.

The sword is a blade referred to as a “void blade,” which is an older word Imoaza’s people used to refer to the hexblades warlocks like herself wield. mentions this one as the blackest of black blades, with a name as sharp as it is dark. It seems ever more impossible that the sword is anything but Black Razor.

The stone is referred to as the “Mnemosyne Nefretis,” a complicated ancient way of saying “Memory Jade.” It is described as a device the Surveyors use to pass on their knowledge to the next Surveyor and thus simulate the process of procreation and birth, at least as well as Primus can mimic it in his creation. This was already confirmed by Karina to be the Jade Stone, which Carrick is hunting down.

The shield remains a mystery... the prophecy’s text uses a word Imoaza does not recognize, and mentions the “earth speakers” being able to know what it is. A frustrating obstacle, to be sure, but there is naught to do about it now. The shield will remain a quest for them to discover.

The source is referred to as “Primus’ Own,” and described as a piece of Primus’ energy. Where they can find that on Faerun is unknown. At first Imoaza and Ruz believe this might refer to Milosh himself, as a creation of Primus, but Milosh dispels this notion. “I was built by the Surveyor, not by Primus. An internal scan of my parts and pieces show nothing coming from Mechanus, Primus’ plane of existence.” Perhaps his minions, the Modrons, still wander far corners of Faerun? Would they contain some of this “source?” it is unclear.

While the library does not solve their issues by handing them the four things they need to defeat the prophecy, it at least points them in the right direction.

There is one other thing in the library: a deep hole that yawns like an incongruous mistake in the floor. The child Hazelwood tells them it leads down (well, yes) to the lair of her mother. She tells them as well that other things make their home down there. As she says this, the wailing sound of the Wendigos reaches their ears, but the child tells them not to worry, that she will lead the creatures off and that they should rest. The party does not fully trust her, but they also do not wish to fight a hive of Wendigos. They let her go, and settle down to wait.

The Book.

“... then his vision became as black as the space around him, and Aldric of the Green Company, once servitor of Eruthynul, later hero of the Battle of Brindol, was no more.”

Night and day are concepts that are lost inside the iceberg, and especially inside the library, but the party finds themselves presently needing rest. They settle in a corner of the library and sleep, leaving a watch posted in case Hazelwood (or worse) comes back. During his watch, Milosh hears whispers coming from the book at Imoaza’s side and he carefully extracts it from her grip, then opens it and begins to read. The book flips as if of its own accord to the end of Aldric’s story, and Milosh reads how Imoaza murdered Aldric by cutting a hole in his protective suit in the depths of space. Aldric was never known by Milosh, but he remembers Carrick seeking his murderer. Milosh isn’t sure how he feels about the knowledge. He has slowly been losing touch with empathy, with care for anything, and so he takes the knowledge to heart mostly as a warning, that Imoaza could easily betray any of them. But he does not share it and he does not feel anything for the man he did not know.

A Frozen Fight

Upon awakening, the party finds that Hazelwood still has not joined them. Ruze still desires to return her to her people, but figures she may be safer not coming on this part of the journey. And so, not wishing to delay, they decide to take the hole to the lair of the witches.

Fog surrounds you and with it comes cold and stillness and quiet. You are standing on a vast frozen lake, which stretches out into the white wall of fog. All around you is a feeling of dread and danger, and though its source is not immediately clear, you cannot help but wonder what manner of beings may pass beneath your feet, beneath the layer of frozen water.

I won’t go through every step of the exploration of this level of the iceberg. To make things more interesting for my high level party, I make this area a massive frozen lake and of course there are things beneath it! In this case, aquatic trolls, who burst free at one point to attack Imoaza when she wanders a little ways from the party. This leads to a tense fight, with a terrifying moment where Milosh chases one of the trolls by firing his grappling hook at him as he dives back underwater and getting pulled under the ice with him. But ultimately the party chases off the trolls and continues on their way, using the spell fly to stay above the ice. In this manner, they avoid islands of Kobolds, waiting with more traps for less wary interlopers, and eventually come to the back of the ice cave, where they face off against the three sisters in what is probably the most magic heavy battle of our entire campaign.

Magic is one of those things I’d like to use more as a DM. Preparing for a magic fight can be a lot of fun but it is also time consuming, as there can be many spells to learn for such an encounter, each with its own rules and possible combos. A magic fight is about as technical and logistically complicated as you can get in D&D 5e, but it’s also a fantastic break from the more routine “I hit with you with big sword” battle, which really boils down to “I roll die, you roll die,” or the equivalent of the card game WAR, only with dice.

The fight against the witches is a fight I prep for big time, basing an entire session around it. The arena is the back of the ice cave where a number of frozen creatures rest in a large trophy area. The battle all takes place in the air, as the PCs and the hags fly about each other with their magic, launching spell after spell. The fly magic comes from Ruz and thankfully Ruz doesn’t realyl get hit for the entire battle, managing to avoid having to make difficulty concentration checks to maintain fly.

Each of the three hags has their own style, though they are the same creature, stats-wise.

Marguerite is the charismatic one of the group, and a sort of leader of the three sisters. I picture her as reveling in power and control and so she puts an emphasis on using lightning bolts and weather spells, showcasing her immense control over the very elements, and spending her turns blasting the party backwards towards a rolling acid cloud that will strip the skin from their bones in moments. She is eventually cut down by Black Razor.

Darcy I picture as the youngest hag and one not as sure of herself. She doesn’t like to fight directly, and so she starts the battle by trying to awaken some of the frozen creatures to fight for her. Ruz stops her with powerful blasts of chromatic orb and she reveals that her lifeforce has been magically tied to Hazelwood’s. Each time she is struck, Hazelwood takes half of the damage, and she takes the other half. Ruz ends up breaking the connection by destroying Darcy’s bone necklace, made from the baby teeth of Hazelwood. She tries one last gambit, to polymorph into a massive flying Wendigo by drinking Marguerite’s spilling blood, but is cut down by Imoaza as she rushes for the body.

Slaveen is the oldest and the most overtly hag like, both in appearance and in bestial mannerisms. She spends the majority of the battle using a modified Ice Wall spell to try and clamp shut like frozen jaws around Ruz, who keeps barely dodging the deadly spell. He bears down on her with his command of fire and she fights back with her command of ice, but the ring he wears from Joachir makes him the less vulnerable in this fight. As he strikes her down, Slaveen taunts him, asking him why he has come to rescue Chaos’ daughter? When she realizes that the sisters were mistaken, and the adventurers are here for the dragon, not Hazelwood, she finds this delightfully hilarious. With her last breath she reveals why the sisters thought they were here for Hazelwood. See, they were able to recognize that Ruz was, herself, a changeling and, more than that, that she is the birth father of Hazelwood. That is because Hazelwood is the child of Ruz and Esheballa, born out of chaos into Faerun during one of their many sexual escapades during Ruz’s imprisonment in her realm.

They thought Ruz knew and was here to collect his own. When Slaveen realizes this is all a big ironic side quest for Ruz, she laughs herself into the afterlife.

Aftermath

There is a lot of clean up to do at the end of this session, lots of individual plot threads to tie up. First, the PCs are present as everything in the arena begins to awaken. Just as they run out of the duration of the fly spell and are forced to land, they get attacked by a deformed frost giant who is breaking free from his long, icy imprisonment. But also breaking free is the dragon, the son of the Bronze dragon who promised Karina aid in exchange for the Rod of Storms, decades earlier. His name is Argent (for short; his full draconic name is five times as long and half as pronounceable) and he is the master of the iceberg. He roars and causes the lake to shatter and the waters to rise, drowning the other creatures here. Then he grabs the PCs and escapes with them, Milosh just barely managing to grapple hook up to his back before the waters rush in and crash against the giant who had him in his frosty grip.

As they fly through the iceberg, Kobolds are seen escaping and cheering them on, freed of their slavery to the witches. And then Argent dives into the frozen sea, Imoaza and Ruze safe in his clenches talons and Milosh safe because... well, he’s mostly a robot.

Under the sea the dragon swims and then bursts from the water in a glorious spray of water and ice, roaring out his call for the villagers of the iceberg to gather before him.

And so they do, and they are as jubilant as the kobolds to be freed from their spell. They are also accompanied by the survivors of the Icebreaker, who had been about to engage them in a battle to the death when the spell broke and everything changed, the villagers suddenly becoming peaceful and begging mercy. In the face of their enthusiastic thanks, Ruz and Milosh find it suddenly distasteful and against their character to enact revenge. Even Orcaheart approaches Milosh like a brother and hugs the hulking robot, declaring him to be the true winner of their fight. He says he could only view them with anger due to the witches spell, which all of them were under. All except Bone Carver, who meekly approaches the dragon, who declares her judgement up to Milosh. Hazelwood (returned to her icy blue adult form) alone begs for her mercy, saying that a part of her will always be Bone Carver’s child.

Milosh debates for a moment and then declares that she will serve him and, through him, the greater good, until such time as he releases her from her bond. Argent declares this to be just, and he removes all but her healing powers and her visionary powers, leaving them to better serve Milosh. He also removes her ability to speak and takes her name, renaming her “Breathgiver,” for she is now tasked with supporting life where once she sought to dominate it.

The Shaman emerges from the depths of the Iceberg as well, accompanied by the jubilant Kobolds, who declare Milosh and the others as the “Big Butt Kickers” and celebrate them as saviors and dragon-favored.

We do a short downtime, then, and each player gets to determine how they would like to spend the evening, while the tribe throws a mighty feast (sealion and whale meat) and party and dance the night away in the light of many fires.

Ruz chooses to spend the evening reuniting with his daughter. He reveals to her what he knows and she confides that she feels broken inside, unable to change her form from that which the Sisters set for her. He tells her, gently, that true change happens inside, no matter what shape we wear. Hazelwood says she wishes to join him on his quest to save the world and the bald way she says it suddenly makes Ruz aware that, yes, that is what he is doing. Ruz inwardly marvels at the revelation, that Ruz would take on such a quest in the first place, when for so long she has simply sworn to survive, at all costs, and no matter what happens to the world. She accepts Hazelwood’s offer and the two spend a quiet night watching the stars overhead and listening to the sounds of revelry near at hand.

Imoaza, after indulging in whatever sugar the tribes have on hand (which amounts to some dried fruit saved from the icebreaker by the crew, and which is wholly unsatsifying to her), seeks out the Shaman and asks him to train her in the ways of Weave-Seeing. This time, he holds out a deck of tarot cards and asks Imoaza to draw from them.

GM note: this was a fun chance for me to use my Tarot cards from Curse of Strahd! I’ve been wanting an opportunity to pull those into a game, they are super well designed! I had to come up with things on the fly for each draw she made, which added a layer of on-the-spot improvisation and roleplay for me.

The first card she draws is labeled the Collector and shows a pursed lip noble placing coins into a bag. The Shaman looks at it and nods.

“This is a decision made in your past,” he says. “The Collector represents a debt you must someday pay, and you have stolen from time itself. Time will have its due, in due time.”

Then he holds up a hand of cards and tells her to draw two, this time. She draws, and reveals first a cocky looking man gripping a sheathed blade with one hand and tossing a cloak over his shoulder with the other. Then a naked man, engulfed in flame and surrounded by a circle of swords, his head thrown back in either ecstasy or pain. The Shaman closes his eyes.

“These cards represent a choice you will make. For you, the choice will be between two lives: the Rogue and the Tyrant. You shall choose one, or neither. The one chosen shall be saved, given a second chance. Those unchosen shall be lost forever, a sacrifice.”

“A sacrifice?” Imoaza asked. “To a deity?”

“No. The sacrifice will be to you alone. It is your decision and your responsibility. Now, draw a final card.”

The card she draws depicts a skull inside a jar. It is labeled the Artifact.

“The last card shows a bond, a bond embedded deep in your soul. All that you do is tied to this bond. And for you, that bond is to an item of power. When that artifact meets its destiny, only then shall you be free to pursue your own.”

Finally, the Shaman tells her that the power she wields, to see the Weave, is not one that is simply developed. It is a gift from Mystra, the goddess of the weave... some say she is the Weave itself. He tells her that the gift comes with responsibility and purpose. She does not need a teacher: the Weave itself will guide her to where she needs to be, when she needs to be there.

Finally, we come to Milsoh. Milosh spends his evening (he has no need of sleep) creating a teleportation circle. With the help of Argent, he empowers the circle to be able to hold open for an elongated period of time, long enough to get the entire village of ice warriors and kobolds (who have pledged themselves to join the cause of Karina) back to Vraath Keep. The ritual takes the full evening. He connects the teleportation circle to the one at Vraath Keep and in the morning ushers everyone through. Argent goes last, warning him that without his power the circle will soon close. Milosh acknowledges this and prepares to enter. But before he does, he hesitates. He looks back at the village. The one he promised to burn to the ground in retaliation for the way he and Carrick were treated. The one now devoid of occupants.

He powers up his abyss breaker and fires a charged fireball at the village. Then, as the explosion rocks the iceberg into melted slag behind him, he enters the circle.

Teleport

... and ends up somewhere other than Vraath Keep. Milsoh finds himself trapped in a container of iron, or adamant. He cannot move his arms, they are pinned to his side. His magic and his abilities are cut off. If Imoaza were here, she would tell him the Weave in the container is non-existent, blocked from getting inside. No magic functions here. But MIlosh is alone in his prison, though not the only one imprisoned. He has a window in front of him and through it he can see row upon row of more containers and people are inside of them. The Ice Barbarians! And Kobolds! The teleport has taken them to the wrong place, but where?

Suddenly, a figure approaches. It is something out of a nightmare. The creature looks at first like a young woman, but erupting from half of her face and body is the skeletal form of a dragonborn, far larger than the woman. The creature approaches and places its fleshy hand against the window.

“You are early,” the creature says, the voice an amalgram of a woman’s breathy tenor and a deep male baritone. “But you are welcome.”

Where have the players ended up? Find out, as next time things heat unp immensely, in The Coming of the Three.

#DND 5e #alignment may vary #Dungeons & Dragons #Campaign Journal #Maakengorge #Sea of Moving Ice #Tyranny of Dragons

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