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hxneydreamers · 3 years

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Hi! You really look like someone who truly lives by the law and if you wanted you could literally manifest the craziest of things, even things that defy the laws of nature and physics and I'm wondering how do you personally view life and existence if you can have everything now with just an assumption? If you are so above everything in the universe? Doesn't this make you feel lonely? Don't your desires feel meaningless? I'm always moved by great stories (most of which have something tragic or sad or bittersweet) and I love being moved by such things and I ultimately want my life to be a good meaningful beautiful story and my fear is that by buying the pearl of great price I'll have to give up on all that so now I find myself almost completely uninterested in my ideal life and I can't bring myself to visualise because I wouldn't feel a thing (btw do you think this will make the manifestation easier or harder?) but I still know deep down that I couldn't accept anything from life other than that perfect ideal I have for myself even though I sorta feel like cheating like... can I call this kind of experience authentic? Share some wisdom ma'am please. Can you also share some films or books or anything that inspired your idea of perfect life if you feel like it?

Hey! You make such an interesting and excellent point! Thanks so much for having such faith in me, hahah, it's extremely flattering!

I honestly have a pretty simple answer for you! Whilst I'm well aware of the law and how things operate and that I am the god of my reality, I am still human. We all are. That's what makes life so beautiful, colourful, and emotionally rich. I believe that the process of manifestation and conscious creation for many people is actually one of the most transformative and emotionally charged human experiences anyone could have, because they face their fears, overcome them, persist and stay determined, and ultimately win the best prize of all - and the prize is not just a material thing or a specific person - the best prize of all is happiness, contentment, and self-love.

I only consciously manifest in areas of my life that I feel have unfolded negatively as a result of low self-worth. The law has taught me that these things are a reflection of the way I treat myself and talk to myself and think about myself. The law has taught me that I should not let my happiness depend on a thing or another person, my happiness should come from within myself.

Our human experiences, the good and the bad, are what shape us as people, and I think that finding the law after we've experienced the ups and downs that human existence has to offer, can be really empowering. Yes, learning about the law helps us take control over our lives and create a happy and abundant life with our specific people, money, the right career, etc, but what I think the biggest thing that the law gives us is the lesson that we need to love ourselves and empower ourselves more.

I don't view life and my desires as meaningless. Just because you are the god of your reality and you have the power to shift into a new reality doesn't mean that the people around you are operating like robots. They are real people and they have thoughts and feelings. You aren't changing anyone or anything around you when you manifest, you are changing yourself and moving into another reality where the people and things around you reflect your new state of being.

The law of assumption has taught me how to speak lovingly to myself and get out of bad habits that ultimately diminish my power and worth. It has taught me to transform myself and my overall love and appreciation for myself so that I can be the best version of myself that I can be.

I personally don't subscribe to any particular religion, but I believe that somehow we were all put on this earth to have a human experience, but we are all one - part of the 'god' source, whatever that is. We all are gods and we all have the power to create the lives we want, but we are here to have desires, to feel all the emotions that come with it, and to experience life's ups and downs, overcoming them and learning from them. I don't know why, but we are all here, and we may as well make the most of it while we are. If we can learn to love ourselves fully and treat ourselves with kindness, we can experience the most lovely parts of life and live in realities where we are surrounded by a reflection of these amazing things.

Let's be real, just because I understand the law of assumption well, doesn't mean that I'm bothered to apply it to every part of my life. Who wants to have to affirm for everything in their life? With most things, I just sit back and enjoy the ride. If there is something negative in my life, I don't let it bother me because I know who I am and I know my worth. If something REALLY bothers me, then I know it's coming from an issue that I have within myself. If anything, it makes me look within and figure out what it is that is causing this.

Even when you know how to use the law of assumption to your advantage, life is still an adventure, and events still impact you emotionally and physically. Sometimes things pop up or happen in your world that come from some deep assumption you didn't even know you had. Life with the law of assumption is a journey of constantly learning about yourself on a deeper level and evolving, and to me, that is so awesome!

When you see people that have successfully manifested their desires, the story doesn't stop there! The new chapter of their lives begins following this, where they get to experience happiness, success, and everything that comes with it! Just because we have the power to change something if we can put our mind to it, doesn't mean that the things we experience aren't extremely real. They feel real, don't they?

Just because the 3D is a reflection of our imaginations, doesn't mean that the experiences we have aren't real. If imagination is reality, and the 3D is a projection of it, then that means that if we have thought of something and it is brought to life, then it is real on some level. We just have the power to place focus on what we want to stay and ignore what we want to go if we decide to.

Even though we manifest things, doesn't mean we don't feel the full weight of their reality. That's human existence. You can still feel your skin, right? You can still feel it when someone kisses or hugs you, right? So it is real to you. If you experience something that you wish you hadn't, you simply have the power to change it, doesn't mean you didn't experience it before, otherwise, where would the desire to change it come from?

Honestly, I can't think of any movies or shows specifically that have taught me anything about the 'perfect life', because everyone's idea of that is different. However, for manifesting and creation, I would recommend Neville Goddard's books. I have his complete reader, which I recommend, as well as Dr Joe Dispenza's books 'Becoming Supernatural' and 'Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself'.

In answer to your question about whether or not that perspective makes it easier or harder to manifest, it depends on what you believe, honestly. I would say that it if anything would make it easier for you to reduce resistance towards things if you truly feel and think that way. However, I encourage you to continue to feel life and to live it fully! The law simply means that things in your life reflect your inner world, and that should be the most real thing to you ever!

Don't let the knowledge of the law taint your view on life and the validity of your emotions and experiences. I, for example, know that the law is real, but I still feel every day and I still have doubts and negative moments in my life. I feel everything so real that sometimes it's too much. The law doesn't mean I won't ever experience hiccups and regular life moments again, it is very likely that I will, because I AM human, and humans naturally develop a mixture of emotions in various aspects of life. It just means that I'm on the journey of life and continuing to overcome these things, just like any other person. You can use the law to make it easier to do this, or harder.

The law is simply a reminder to stay in the state of loving myself and staying in my power so that overall I continue to experience true happiness, because that's ultimately what we all want, right? To be happy and to live in peace.

I hope I've somewhat answered your question and not just rambled on, talking nonsense hahah!

I appreciate the question because you got me really thinking.

All my love x

#manifest #manifesting #manifestation #affirm #affirming #affirmations #law of assumption #neville goddard #reality #parallel realities #create your future

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montystarotchild · 3 years

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💥2021 Predictions for the Zodiac💥

Sun, Moon, Venus, Rising

These readings were originally handwritten and channeled with care. I hope that it resonates and eases us into the dynamic energy of all that 2021 holds for us! If you feel called to, hold onto this post as a reference throughout 2021.

Oh and Happy Full Moon in Cancer! 🌕

Aries (Tiger’s Eye, 444)

2021 will be a deep dive for you emotionally. This is the year you tap into your intuition on purpose. This year has proven that sometimes things just don’t make sense to us. We have been challenged in 2020 to keep moving forward into the unknown. It makes no sense to stop now. A main lesson in 2021 will be to surrender to the workings of the Universe and allow passion to drive you forward instead of doubt. This is an opportunity to expand your consciousness and to reawaken your spirit. 2021 will be a chance for you to tap into your true passions. For some, this may be another year of limited connection to others and I’m seeing that this might not be a problem for you. You are going to be so enthralled with learning more about the subconscious, specifically your own, and how the mind works. I’m also seeing a curiousity around hidden things i.e. solving mysteries/puzzles. This will be the time for you to pursue what is calling to your intuition. It may be to learn a different language or to learn more about language in general. There may be a major shift or many shifts in your perspective in 2021. With this deep introspection and thirst for more out of life, you may look different to others. Just a reminder, it is not selfish or “abandonment” of others when we are healing ourself. There are ways to put your passions first and still be present in your life and current relationships. Balance looks different for everyone. The most important part is that one aspect of your life doesn’t receive more attention than the others. The key is flow. How will you find your flow in the New Year? With Jupiter and Saturn in Aquarius, this is your time to break away from what everyone else is doing. Going along with what society is doing or telling you to do won’t cut it this year. You’ll find that you much rather hang upside down, you’ll like the view from there much more.

Taurus (Aquamarine, 444, 666, 888)

Isn’t it ironic that Taurus rules the throat and you have the ‘Authentic Voice’ as the theme of your 2021? You are reawakening your throat chakras Taurus! This may be huge for many of you. You may have had difficulties in the past or even this year with communicating affectively. It could have seemed that often your words were not taken into consideration because others couldn’t make sense of them. There is no blame to either party. Language is tough. If we aren’t speaking authentically it makes it harder for others to truly understand our needs. 2021 is bringing in more clarity to your thoughts. This will be the year to see things as they really are for everyone but specifically for you to speak on it as well. Every voice and story is different which is the concept of authenticity. You are good enough exactly as you are beautiful Taurus and it’s time to stand in that energy. All that you admire in others, it is time to admire within yourself. “There is no choir if there is only one sound, one voice.” You will be receiving recognition next year. It could be as specific as getting that voice over role you took a leap of faith on or speaking up more in your personal life in general. Those around you will be recognizing the reemergence of your powerful and authentic voice. There will also be others who flock to what you have to say and have never even met you. Many of you may want to share life experiences and knowledge through podcasts or something like Clubhouse that focuses strictly on voice. 2021 will be the gift of unique thoughts and ideas, the proper communication to express these ideas and recognition from a supportive community. When channeling your authentic voice remember that these are the messages that the Divine has sent through you with love.

Gemini

Your spirit is growing young Gemini! Many of you spent 2020 working on your light and soul and that has played a huge part in your spiritual energy leveling up. This is where you create great impact through whatever you expel this energy through. Aside from the things you create, your energy alone will be affecting others in 2021. Some of you may have been keeping your energy to yourself in order to heal and in 2021 you will be stepping more out of Hermit mode. Even though Hermit mode will also be a saving grace as well. In 2021 you will be receiving an increase of downloads from Spirit. A huge lesson/experience that may come up for you is delivering a softer message to others. As a Gemini Sun myself, I have pure intentions to always hold truth at the highest standard but that has sometimes hurt others in the process. In 2021, as you are growing in your power, Spirit is helping with the intensity of your light. You will be helping others who are still energetically sensitive to authentic power and authority. That doesn’t mean to hold back your light or hinder your own growth, it just means if they didn’t ask you for that word of advice, don’t tell it. Those who are seeking a deeper truth will seek you out first! Happy expanding!

Cancer

This is a really interesting reading Cancerians. In 2021 you are being asked to make a sacrifice in order to gain a greater fulfillment. I see that in 2020 we did all we could to still feel good in such a crazy year. That required that we find a lot of balance between our wants and needs. You may have experienced a burst of creativity recently or have been wanting to hone a skill that has been lying dormant. Although it feels like you can absorb as much information about this passion as possible you are being asked to pause in the New Year. Many people may see the Hanged Man in the tarot deck as stuck but this is where he gains a whole new perspective. If we ran head first with every single thing we were passionate about in that moment without even asking “what do I want?” we could end up on a very different path than we are meant to be on. If you find yourself constantly trying in 2021, it may be best if you surrender your wants to the Universe and embrace new solutions to your needs. Even though this may be a very uncomfortable state you find yourself in you must constantly remind yourself that Spirit will never offer you less than what is a part of your true destiny. You are safe!

Leo

In 2021 I see that you will be reaching a crossroad in your life. You are being granted the opportunity to leave the past in the past and embark on the rest of your journey. The significance of this crossroad is it’s acting as a checkpoint within your journey to ensure that you are no longer carrying that extra baggage with you. This is not a transition that you need to fear. We tend to carry things with us so long that we are convinced it truly belongs to us but that is rarely the case. The familiarities of life have become boundaries. This may have really worked for you this year as many have used this time for healing. While familiarity can be beneficial it doesn’t create security. In 2021 this may be a huge and constant lesson for your understanding. Even though things may change drastically (like moving in a completely different direction) you must realize that your true security comes from the Universe and it sees your pure intentions. Many of you may know what decision it is that you are being asked to make and it scares you. It is essential that you allow your heart to lead you so that your mind can’t create doubt and keep you stuck. Life is always evolving, there will always be another crossroad to cross. As long as you move with love and integrity there is nothing to fear of the future.

Virgo

In 2021 you are getting a full view of your emotional self. This may be something you have rejected strongly in the past in order to put more focus into your financial self. This aversion to our soul mirror has been out of fear of what we may find. No one really wants to look within and find out they are somewhat of a hoarder or place value over personality. This year we are focusing less on what we have and more on who we are and the aspects of ourselves that we are constantly juggling. This year you are being asked to bear witness to what you feel. You will constantly find a safe space in solitude with Spirit in order to face yourself fully. When you allow a new depth of truth into your life, foundations may feel challenged and insecurities around a lack mindset might be exposed. How do you welcome vulnerability in your life? When someone is vulnerable it is not a weakness. We are not taught to meet every situation we encounter with love but it is never too late to learn. Situations in the past (or as recent as this year) have closed us off to love. That is a natural reaction to pain but we aren’t meant to live our entire lives in lovelessness. This is your year of healing the heart. Healing isn’t linear and everyday won’t feel the same, but, when you find yourself believing in and accepting your blessings that is how you know that your heart is opening up to everything the Universe has to offer.

Libra

This year a lot of us may have taken an “L” on something we really wanted to do or accomplish. It may have been something that you needed extra time or resources for in order to succeed. For some, this situation may not have been what you really wanted and this “no” was a blessing in disguise. Take what resonates. Either way, there is a need for forgiveness if you felt “you could’ve done more”. In 2021 you are experiencing the perfection of you. Connecting your soul to the source of Divinity will bring in a swelling of positive emotions. Your love for Source will heal your love for self. This will be a year of new friendships and connections. New emotional beginnings in general. I am seeing that this year you may have also ran into conflict with others while you were pursuing your ambitions. You may have had difficulties balancing relationships and your thirst for creative endeavors. Your energy is recalibrating with the air of a New Year and new opportunities on the horizon. Others will be drawn to the rebirth of your energy in 2021. Your shift in perspective and emotional investment into all that you are passionate about will inspire others to lead the same life. Remembering that you are made of the same energy that created the heavens and the Earth will entrain the perfection of you in your heart.

Scorpio

In the beginning of 2020 you may have been hesitant and had little faith as to how everything you wanted would come about. You may have had scattered ideas, fragments of a full picture but as the year progressed, you gained more clarity. You witnessed the world opening up to you even as the 3D was shutting down due to quarantine. You are ending this year with an “anything can happen” mindset leaning towards positivity and the notion that you can handle that “anything”. You have actually been excited/eager to see what happens next. Because you have been learning more about yourself emotionally you are entering 2021 with a clear mindset as to who you are and what you bring to the table. You will be making decisions based off of your intuition alone, that’s how in tune you are with yourself. When most will say “there is no logic in intuition” you will simply laugh. Your intuition is leading you straight towards this 9 of pentacles energy. Milestones will be surpassed. Personal achievement will bring you great satisfaction and deepen your trust in Spirit and self. 2020 has taught you that listening to your individuality is hard but prosperous. Continue focusing on your personal values and what you believe is true and nothing can sway you from your blessings. You are a unique individual and it’s time to embrace all that that encompasses; power + authority.

Sagittarius

There is a great cleansing coming to you this New Year. In 2020 you put all of your energy towards the nurturing of yourself which in turn helped nurture those around you. You are ending this year feeling more emotionally complete because of this. You may be ending a cycle of putting other people’s nurturing over your own. This may have been a huge lesson for you. So much so that you actually felt a physical shift. This deep healing has been internally focused and will need to continue this way. As 2020 has taught us, nothing is set in stone, not even healing. In 2021 you will need to continue to observe what is causing disharmony in your life. It could be a situation that seems impossible to get out of. But let’s just say the beginning of 2021 will not look like the end of it. Like the aftermath of a storm , there will be many things that will be cleared away in your life. The people that don’t fit, the mindsets that hold you back or an unfulfilling job, nothing is off limits to Spirit. There will be a shift in your perspective where you won’t view it as a loss but a gain of space and energy for more aligned moments in your life. This is Spirit’s gift to you, literally a brand new beginning where we can put ourselves first. You have all Major Arcana which signifies life long changes and a deep acceptance of self.

Capricorn (222, 888)

This year you chose love over everything else. What truly spoke to you, you embraced, and all that you outgrew is being left in 2020. It took strength to continuously choose an emotion that is foreign to most. You dedicated yourself to this rebirth and are emerging as someone who appears to be different but you are just claiming your true self. This New Year you will be stepping onto the entrepreneurial path if you haven’t already. I’m seeing something physical like a pottery business or a mechanic shop. Either way this will be something you are passionate about. If you find that some people want to take advantage of your beautiful spirit don’t worry. There won’t be a need for any action. Heal from it and allow the Universe to handle them. 2021 is your time to retreat inwardly and explore the depths of your own subconscious. Whatever situation emerges, carrying love in your heart will help you prevail. This, unfortunately, does not make you immune to pain, but, it does help you conquer your doubt. Doubt of what you truly deserve, doubt of your capabilities and talent. This will be a great year to learn and understand where those doubts and fears stem from because you are more than capable Capricorns!

Aquarius

While 2020 was a difficult year for everyone emotionally, you my beautiful Aquarius, thrived creatively and soared to new heights. One of your greatest accomplishments this year could have been your patience towards your creative endeavors. And more patience even to yourself when creating. While others around you had difficulty accepting themselves you embraced this passionately. You’ve spent this year planting your seeds of love, knowledge and prosperity and this New Year you will have a bounty to show for taking such tender care. My question to you is do you believe it? That the Universe leaves no stone unturned when it comes to our blessings. And when I say blessings, our dreams, desires and everything we envision but can’t grasp just yet. You are stepping into 2021 healing and shedding all of your lack mindset around finances. This healing is going to prepare you for the abundance of 2021. I am also seeing that all of the signs and “coincidences” you’ve been seeing is Spirit confirming what you already know. It is safe to trust, keep releasing doubt. For some of you I am seeing a love interest entering your life this year. It could be quickly or sudden. They could be very creative, intelligent when it comes to social issues and equality. They are kind.

Pisces

This year you focused on harmony and balance in your life. When things felt unknown and unfamiliar you chose to allow your intuition to guide you. This balance and trusting of yourself and Spirit brought you abundance and stability. There was something that you may have been guided to that was like a well spring that you struck just right. This may have already appeared or is coming to you soon. You are stepping into 2021 with mental clarity and authority over your own thoughts. You will, or have already, find a unique balance of analytical thinking vs passionate creativity. Assuming authority over your fears and doubts will energetically charge you and encourage you to create more freedom in life. Not held back by self-made limitations or what others think. I am seeing that there could be a moment where you lose yourself in another in a relationship (platonic or romantic). This is me addressing it so that you can be aware but there is nothing to fear. Sometimes a relationship may ask so much of us up until the point we stop it and stand up for ourselves. This may not be present in your life currently, but if ever, don’t forget who you are and what you deserve. Keep striving for what is meant for you and makes you happy. This is your destiny!

If you enjoyed this reading please like/reblog! As this is a general reading, tipping isn’t required but always appreciated. 💖

https://cash.app/$aftonelizabethh

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iamshwee · 3 years

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SHADOW WORK: The Ultimate Guide

I. Why Focusing Only on the Light is a Form of Escapism

For most of my life, I’ve grown up firmly believing that the only thing worthy of guiding me was “light” and “love.” Whether through the family environment I was raised in, or the cultural myths I was brought up clinging to, I once believed that all you really needed to do in life to be happy was to focus on everything beautiful, positive and spiritually “righteous.” I’m sure you were raised believing a similar story as well. It’s a sort of “Recipe for Well-Being.”

But a few years ago, after battling ongoing mental health issues, I realized something shocking:

I was wrong.

Not just wrong, but completely and utterly off the mark. Focusing only on “love and light” will not heal your wounds on a deep level. In fact, I’ve learned through a lot of heavy inner work, that not only is focusing solely on “holiness” in life one side of the equation, but it is actually a form of spiritually bypassing your deeper, darker problems that, let me assure you, almost definitely exist.

It is very easy and comfortable to focus only on the light side of life. So many people in today’s world follow this path. And while it might provide some temporary emotional support, it doesn’t reach to the depths of your being: it doesn’t transform you at a core level. Instead, it leaves you superficially hanging onto warm and fuzzy platitudes which sound nice, but don’t enact any real change.

What DOES touch the very depths of your being, however, is exploring your Shadow.

II. What is the Human Shadow?

In short, the human shadow is our dark side; our lost and forgotten disowned self.

Your shadow is the place within you that contains all of your secrets, repressed feelings, primitive impulses, and parts deemed “unacceptable,” shameful, “sinful” or even “evil.”

This dark place lurking within your unconscious mind also contains suppressed and rejected emotions such as rage, jealousy, hatred, greed, deceitfulness, and selfishness.

So where did the Shadow Self idea originate? The concept was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung. In Jung’s own words:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

When the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to undermine and sabotage our lives. Addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses are all attributed to the Shadow Self. When our Shadows are suppressed or repressed in the unconscious long enough, they can even overtake our entire lives and causes psychosis or extreme forms of behavior like cheating on one’s partner or physically harming others. Intoxicants such as alcohol and drugs also have a tendency to unleash the Shadow.

Thankfully, there is a way to explore the Shadow and prevent it from devouring our existence, and that is called Shadow Work.

III. What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring your inner darkness or “Shadow Self.” As mentioned previously, your Shadow Self is part of your unconscious mind and contains everything you feel ashamed of thinking and feeling, as well as every impulse, repressed idea, desire, fear, and perversion that for one reason or another, you have “locked away” consciously or unconsciously. Often this is done as a way of keeping yourself tame, likable, and “civilized” in the eyes of others.

Shadow work is the attempt to uncover everything that we have hidden and every part of us that has been disowned and rejected within our Shadow Selves.

Why? Because without revealing to ourselves what we have hidden, we remain burdened with problems such as anger, guilt, shame, disgust, and grief.

All throughout the history of mankind Shadow Work has played a powerful yet mysterious and occult role in helping us discover what is causing us mental illness, physical dis-ease and even insanity resulting in crimes of all kinds.

Traditionally, Shadow Work fell in the realm of the Shamans, or medicine people, as well as the priests and priestesses of the archaic periods of history. These days, Shadow Work falls more commonly in the realms of psychotherapy, with psychologists, psychiatrists, spiritual guides, and therapists.

IV. Do We All Have a Shadow Self?

Yes, we ALL have a Shadow Self.

As uncomfortable as it may sound, there is a dark side within every human being. Why is this the case? The reason why all human beings have a shadow is due to the way we were raised as human beings, often referred to as our ‘conditioning.’

“But I’m a good person! I don’t have a ‘shadow’ side,” you might be thinking. Well, the reality is that yes, you might be a good person. In fact, you might be the most generous, loving, and selfless person in the entire world. You might feed the hungry, save puppies, and donate half of your salary to the poor. But that doesn’t exclude you from having a Shadow.

There are no exceptions here.

The nature of being human is to possess both a light and a dark side, and we need to embrace that.

Sometimes, when people hear that they have a Shadow side (or when it is pointed out), there is a lot of denial. We have been taught to perceive ourselves in a very two-dimensional and limited way. We have been taught that only criminals, murderers, and thieves have a Shadow side.

This black and white thinking is one of the major causes of our suffering.

If the thought of having a Shadow side disturbs you, take a moment to consider whether you have developed an idealized self.

Signs of an idealized self include attitudes such as:

· “I’m not like those people, I’m better.”

· “I have never strayed.”

· “God is proud of me.”

· “Criminals and wrongdoers aren’t human.”

· “Everyone sees how good I am (even so, I have to remind them).”

· “I’m a role model.”

· “I should be validated and applauded for my good deeds.”

· “I don’t have bad thoughts, so why do others?”

Such perceptions about oneself are unrealistic, unhealthy, and largely delusional. The only way to find inner peace, happiness, authentic love, self-fulfillment, and Illumination is to explore our Shadow.

V. How is Our Shadow Side Formed?

Your Shadow side is formed in childhood and is both (a) a product of natural ego development, and (b) a product of conditioning or socialization. Socialization is the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

When we are born, we are are all full of potential, with the ability to survive and develop in a variety of ways. As time goes on, we learn more and more to become a certain type of person. Slowly, due to our circumstances and preferences, we begin to adopt certain character traits and reject others. For example, if we are born into a family that shows little interpersonal warmth, we will develop personality traits that make us self-sufficient and perhaps standoffish or mind-oriented. If we are born into a family that rewards compliance and shuns rebellion, we will learn that being submissive works, and thus adopt that as part of our ego structure.

As authors and Jungian therapists, Steve Price and David Haynes write:

“But, as we develop our ego-personality, we also do something else at the same time. What has happened to all those parts of our original potential that we didn’t develop? They won’t just cease to exist: they will still be there, as potential or as partly developed, then rejected, personality attributes, and they will live on in the unconscious as an alternative to the waking ego. So, by the very act of creating a specifically delineated ego-personality, we have also created its opposite in the unconscious. This is the shadow. Everyone has one.”

As we can see, developing the Shadow Self is a natural part of development.

But you also formed an alter ego due to social conditioning, i.e. your parents, family members, teachers, friends, and society at large all contributed to your Shadow.

How?

Well here’s the thing: polite society operates under certain rules. In other words, certain behaviors and characteristics are approved of, while others are shunned. Take anger for example. Anger is an emotion that is commonly punished while growing up. Throwing tantrums, swearing, and destroying things was frowned upon by our parents and teachers. Therefore, many of us learned that expressing anger was not “OK.” Instead of being taught healthy ways to express our anger, we were punished sometimes physically (with smacks or being grounded), and often emotionally (withdrawal of love and affection).

There are countless behaviors, emotions, and beliefs that are rejected in society, and thus, are rejected by ourselves. In order to fit in, be accepted, approved, and loved, we learned to act a certain way. We adopted a role that would ensure our mental, emotional, and physical survival. But at the same time, wearing a mask has consequences. What happened to all the authentic, wild, socially taboo, or challenging parts of ourselves? They were trapped in the Shadow.

What happens as we grow up?

Through time, we learn to both enjoy, and despise, our socially-approved egos because, on the one hand, they make us feel good and “lovable,” but on the other hand, they feel phony and inhibited.

Therapist Steve Wolf has a perfect analogy that describes this process:

“Each of us is like Dorian Gray. We seek to present a beautiful, innocent face to the world; a kind, courteous demeanor; a youthful, intelligent image. And so, unknowingly but inevitably, we push away those qualities that do not fit the image, that does not enhance our self-esteem and make us stand proud but, instead, bring us shame and make us feel small. We shove into the dark cavern of the unconscious those feelings that make us uneasy — hatred, rage, jealousy, greed, competition, lust, shame — and those behaviors that are deemed wrong by the culture — addiction, laziness, aggression, dependency — thereby creating what could be called shadow content. Like Dorian’s painting, these qualities ultimately take on a life of their own, forming an invisible twin that lives just behind our life, or just beside it …”

But while the Shadow Self may be portrayed as our “evil twin,” it is not entirely full of “bad” stuff. There is actually gold to be found within the Shadow.

VI. What is the Golden Shadow?

Jung once states that “the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.” What this means is that there are many beautiful gifts offered to us by our Shadow side if we take the time to look. For example, so much of our creative potential is submerged within our darkness because we were taught when little to reject it.

Not everything within our Shadow is doom and gloom. In fact, the Shadow contains some of our most powerful gifts and talents, such as our artistic, sexual, competitive, innovative, and even intuitive aptitudes.

The ‘Golden Shadow’ also presents us with the opportunity for tremendous psychological and spiritual growth. By doing Shadow Work, we learn that every single emotion and wound that we possess has a gift to share with us. Even the most obnoxious, “ugly,” or shameful parts of ourselves provide a path back to Oneness. Such is the power of the Shadow – it is both a terrifying journey, but is ultimately a path to Enlightenment or Illumination. Every spiritual path needs Shadow Work to prevent the issues from happening that we’ll explore next.

VII. What Happens When You Reject Your Shadow?

When shadow-work is neglected, the soul feels dry, brittle, like an empty vessel. — S. Wolf

Rejecting, suppressing, denying, or disowning your Shadow, whether consciously or unconsciously, is a dangerous thing. The thing about the Shadow Self is that it seeks to be known. It yearns to be understood, explored, and integrated. It craves to be held in awareness. The longer the Shadow stays buried and locked in its jail cell deep within the unconscious, the more it will find opportunities to make you aware of its existence.

Both religion and modern spirituality tend to focus on the “love and light” aspects of spiritual growth to their own doom.

This over-emphasis on the fluffy, transcendental, and feel-good elements of a spiritual awakening results in shallowness and phobia of whatever is too real, earthy, or dark.

Spiritually bypassing one’s inner darkness results in a whole range of serious issues. Some of the most common and reoccurring Shadow issues that appear in the spiritual/religious community include pedophilia among priests, financial manipulation of followers among gurus, and of course, megalomania, narcissism, and God complexes among spiritual teachers.

Other issues that arise when we reject our Shadow side can include:

· Hypocrisy (believing and supporting one thing, but doing the other)

· Lies and self-deceit (both towards oneself and others)

· Uncontrollable bursts of rage/anger

· Emotional and mental manipulation of others

· Greed and addictions

· Phobias and obsessive compulsions

· Racist, sexist, homophobic, and other offensive behavior

· Intense anxiety

· Chronic psychosomatic illness

· Depression (which can turn into suicidal tendencies)

· Sexual perversion

· Narcissistically inflated ego

· Chaotic relationships with others

· Self-loathing

· Self-absorption

· Self-sabotage

… and many others. This is by no means a comprehensive list (and there are likely many other issues out there). As we’ll learn next, one of the greatest ways we reject our Shadow is through psychological projection.

VIII. The Shadow and Projection (a Dangerous Mix)

One of the biggest forms of Shadow rejection is something called projection.

Projection is a term that refers to seeing things in others that are actually within ourselves.

When we pair projection and the Shadow Self together, we have a dangerous mix. Why? Because as psychotherapist Robert A. Johnson writes:

“We generally seek to punish that which reminds us most uncomfortable about the part of ourselves that we have not come to terms with, and we often ‘see’ these disowned qualities in the world around us.”

There are many different ways we ‘punish’ those who are mirrors of our Shadow qualities. We may criticize, reject, hate, dehumanize, or even in extreme cases, physically or psychologically seek to destroy them (think of countries who go at war with the “enemies”). None of us are innocent in this area. We have ALL projected parts of our rejected self onto others. In fact, Shadow projection is a major cause of relationship dysfunction and break down.

If we are seeking to bring peace, love, and meaning to our lives, we absolutely MUST reclaim these projections. Through Shadow Work, we can explore exactly what we have disowned.

IX. Twelve Benefits of Shadow Work

Firstly, I want to say that I have the highest respect for Shadow Work. It is the single most important path I’ve taken to uncover my core wounds, core beliefs, traumas, and projections. I have also observed how Shadow Work has helped to create profound clarity, understanding, harmony, acceptance, release, and inner peace in the lives of others. It is truly deep work that makes changes on the Soul level targeting the very roots of our issues, not just the superficial symptoms.

There is SO much to be gained from making Shadow Work a part of your life, and daily routine. Here are some of the most commonly experienced benefits:

1. Deeper love and acceptance of yourself

2. Better relationships with others, including your partner and children

3. More confidence to be your authentic self

4. More mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity

5. Increased compassion/understanding for others = who you dislike

6. Enhanced creativity

7. Discovery of hidden gifts and talents

8. Deepened understanding of your passions and ultimate life purpose

9. Improved physical and mental health

10. More courage to face the unknown and truly live life

11. Access to your Soul or Higher Self

12. A feeling of Wholeness

It’s important to remember that there are no quick fixes in Shadow Work, so these life-changing benefits don’t just happen overnight. But with persistence, they will eventually emerge and bless your life.

X. Seven Tips for Approaching Shadow Work

Before you begin Shadow Work, you need to assess whether you’re ready to embark on this journey. Not everyone is prepared for this deep work, and that’s fine. We’re all at different stages. So pay attention to the following questions and try to answer them honestly:

· Have you practiced self-love yet?

o If not, Shadow Work will be too overwhelming for you. I have starred this bullet point because it is essential for you to consider. Shadow Work should not be attempted by those who have poor self-worth or struggle with self-loathing. In other words: if you struggle with severely low self-esteem, please do not attempt Shadow Work. I emphatically warn you against doing it. Why? If you struggle with extremely poor self-worth, exploring your Shadow will likely make you feel ten times worse about yourself. Before you walk this path, you absolutely must establish a strong and healthy self-image. No, you don’t have to think you’re God’s gift to the world, but having average self-worth is important. Try taking this self-esteem test to explore whether you’re ready (but first, don’t forget to finish this article!).

· Are you prepared to make time?

o Shadow Work is not a lukewarm practice. You are either all in or all out. Yes, it is important to take a break from it from time to time. But Shadow Work requires dedication, self-discipline, and persistence. Are you willing to intentionally carve out time each day to dedicate to it? Even just ten minutes a day is a good start.

· Are you looking to be validated or to find the truth?

o As you probably know by now, Shadow Work isn’t about making you feel special. It isn’t like typical spiritual paths that are focused on the feel-good. No, Shadow Work can be brutal and extremely confronting. This is a path for truth seekers, not those who are seeking to be validated.

· Seek to enter a calm and neutral space.

o It is important to try and relax when doing Shadow Work. Stress and judgmental or critical attitudes will inhibit the process. So please try to incorporate a calming meditation or mindfulness technique into whatever you do.

· Understand that you are not your thoughts.

o You need to realize that you are not your thoughts for Shadow Work to be healing and liberating. Only from your calm and quiet Center (also known as your Soul) can you truly be aware of your Shadow aspects. By holding them in awareness, you will see them clearly for what they are, and realize that they ultimately don’t define you; they are simply rising and falling mental phenomena.

· Practice self-compassion.

o It is of paramount importance to incorporate compassion and self-acceptance into your Shadow Work practice. Without showing love and understanding to yourself, it is easy for Shadow Work to backfire and make you feel terrible. So focus on generating self-love and compassion, and you will be able to release any shame and embrace your humanity.

· Record everything you find.

o Keep a written journal or personal diary in which you write down, or draw, your discoveries. Recording your dreams, observations, and analysis will help you to learn and grow more effectively. You’ll also be able to keep track of your process and make important connections.

XI. How to Practice Shadow Work

There are many Shadow Work techniques and exercises out there. In this guide, I will provide a few to help you start off. I’ll also share a few examples from my own life:

1. Pay attention to your emotional reactions

In this practice, you’ll learn that what you give power to has power over you. Let me explain:

One Shadow Work practice I enjoy a great deal is paying attention to everything that shocks, disturbs, and secretly thrills me. Essentially, this practice is about finding out what I’ve given the power to in my life unconsciously, because: what we place importance in – whether good or bad – says a lot about us.

The reality is that what we react to, or what makes us angry and distressed, reveals extremely important information to us about ourselves.

For example, by following where my “demons” have taken me – whether in social media, family circles, workspaces, and public places – I have discovered two important things about myself. The first one is that I’m a control freak; I hate feeling vulnerable, powerless and weak . . . it quite simply scares the living hell out of me. How did I discover this? Through my intense dislike of witnessing rape scenes in movies and TV shows, my negative reaction to novel experiences (e.g. roller coaster rides, public speaking, etc.), as well as my discomfort surrounding sharing information about my life with others in conversations. Also, by following where my “demons” have guided me I’ve discovered that I’m being burdened by an exasperating guilt complex that I developed through my religious upbringing. Apart of me wants to feel unworthy because that is what I’ve developed a habit of feeling since childhood (e.g. “You’re a sinner,” “It’s your fault Jesus was crucified”), and therefore, that is what I secretly feel comfortable with feeling: unworthy. So my mind nit-picks anything I might have done “wrong,” and I’m left with the feeling of being “bad” – which I’m used to, but nevertheless, this is destructive for my well-being.

Thanks to this practice, I have welcomed more compassion, mindfulness, and forgiveness into my life.

Paying attention to your emotional reactions can help you to discover exactly how your core wounds are affecting you on a daily basis.

How to Pay Attention to Your Emotional Reactions

To effectively pay attention to your emotional reactions (I call it “following the trail of your inner demons”), you first need to cultivate:

1. Self-awareness

Without being conscious of what you’re doing, thinking, feeling, and saying, you won’t progress very far.

If, however, you are fairly certain that you’re self-aware (or enough to start the process), you will then need to:

2. Adopt an open mindset

You will need to have the courage and willingness to observe EVERYTHING uncomfortable you place importance in, and ask “why?” What do I mean by the phrase “placing importance in”? By this, I mean that, whatever riles, shocks, infuriates, disturbs and terrifies you, you must pay attention to. Closely.

Likely, you will discover patterns constantly emerging in your life. For example, you might be outraged or embarrassed every time sex appears in a TV show or movie you like (possibly revealing sexual repression or mistaken beliefs about sex that you’ve adopted throughout life). Or you might be terrified of seeing death or dead people (possibly revealing your resistance to the nature of life or childhood trauma). Or you might be disgusted by alternative political, sexual, and spiritual lifestyles (possibly revealing your hidden desire to do the same).

There are so many possibilities out there, and I encourage you to go slowly, take your time, and one by one pick through what you place importance in.

“But I DON’T place importance in gross, bad or disturbing things in life, how could I? I don’t care for them!” you might be asking.

Well, think for a moment. If you didn’t place so much importance on what makes you angry, disgusted or upset . . . why would you be reacting to it so much? The moment you emotionally react to something is the moment you have given that thing power over you. Only that which doesn’t stir up emotions in us is not important to us.

See what you respond to and listen to what your Shadow is trying to teach you.

2. Artistically Express Your Shadow Self

Art is the highest form of self-expression and is also a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself. Psychologists often use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves.

Start by allowing yourself to feel (or drawing on any existing) dark emotions. Choose an art medium that calls to you such as pen and pencil, watercolor, crayon, acrylic paint, scrapbooking, sculpting, etc. and draw what you feel. You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to benefit from this activity. You don’t even need to plan what you’ll create. Just let your hands, pen, pencil, or paintbrush do the talking. The more spontaneous, the better. Artistic expression can reveal a lot about your obscure darker half. Psychologist Carl Jung (who conceptualized the Shadow Self idea) was even famous for using mandalas in his therapy sessions.

3. Start a Project

The act of creation can be intensely frustrating and can give birth to some of your darker elements such as impatience, anger, blood-thirsty competitiveness, and self-doubt. At the same time, starting a project also allows you to experience feelings of fulfillment and joy.

If you don’t already have a personal project that you’re undertaking (such as building something, writing a book, composing music, mastering a new skill), find something you would love to start doing. Using self-awareness and self-exploration during the process of creation, you will be able to reap deeper insights into your darkness. Ask yourself constantly, “What am I feeling and why?” Notice the strong emotions that arise during the act of creation, both good and bad. You will likely be surprised by what you find!

For example, as a person who considers myself non-competitive, that assumption has been challenged by the act of writing this blog. Thanks to this project, the Shadow within me of ruthless competitiveness has shown its face, allowing me to understand myself more deeply.

4. Write a Story or Keep a Shadow Journal

Goethe’s story Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an ego and his Shadow Self. His story details the life of a Professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.

Write a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters – this is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness. If stories aren’t your thing, keeping a journal or diary every day can shine a light on the darker elements of your nature. Reading through your dark thoughts and emotions can help you to recover the balance you need in life by accepting both light and dark emotions within you.

5. Explore Your Shadow Archetypes

We have several Shadow varieties, also called Shadow Archetypes. These archetypes are sometimes defined as:

· The Sorcerer/Alchemist

· The Dictator

· The Victim

· The Shadow Witch

· The Addict

· The Idiot

· The Trickster

· The Destroyer

· The Slave

· The Shadow Mother

· The Hag

· The Hermit

However, I have my own Shadow Archetype classification, which I will include below.

13 Shadow Archetypes

Here are my thirteen classifications which are based on my own self-observations and analysis of others:

1. The Egotistical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: arrogance, egocentricity, pompousness, inconsiderateness, self-indulgence, narcissism, excessive pride.

2. The Neurotic Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: paranoia, obsessiveness, suspiciousness, finicky, demanding, compulsive behavior.

3. The Untrustworthy Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: secretive, impulsive, frivolous, irresponsible, deceitful, unreliable.

4. The Emotionally Unstable Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: moody, melodramatic, weepy, overemotional, impulsive, changeable.

5. The Controlling Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: suspicious, jealous, possessive, bossy, obsessive.

6. The Cynical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: negative, overcritical, patronizing, resentful, cantankerous.

7. The Wrathful Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: ruthless, vengeful, bitchy, quick-tempered, quarrelsome.

8. The Rigid Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: uptight, intolerant, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, obstinate, uncompromising, inflexible, narrow-minded.

9. The Glib Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: superficial, cunning, inconsistent, sly, crafty.

10. The Cold Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: emotionally detached, distant, indifferent, uncaring, unexcited.

11. The Perverted Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: masochistic, lewd, sadistic, vulgar, libidinous.

12. The Cowardly Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: weak-willed, passive, timid, fearful.

13. The Immature Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: puerile, childish, illogical, simpleminded, vacuous.

Keep in mind that the above Shadow Archetypes are by no means exhaustive. I’m sure that there are many others out there which I have missed. But you are free to use this breakdown to help you explore your own Shadows. You’re also welcome to add to this list or create your own Shadow Archetypes, which I highly encourage. For example, you might possess a judgmental and dogmatic Shadow who you call “The Nun,” or a sexually deviant Shadow who you call “The Deviant.” Play around with some words and labels, and see what suits your Shadows the best.

6. Have an Inner Conversation

Also known as “Inner Dialogue,” or as Carl Jung phrased it, “Active Imagination,” having a conversation with your Shadow is an easy way to learn from it.

I understand if you might feel a twinge of skepticism towards this practice right now. After all, we are taught that “only crazy people talk to themselves.” But inner dialogue is regularly used in psychotherapy as a way to help people communicate with the various subpersonalities that they have – and we all possess various faces and sides of our ego.

One easy way to practice inner dialogue is to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and tune into the present moment. Then, think of a question you would like to ask your Shadow, and silently speak it within your mind. Wait a few moments and see if you ‘hear’ or ‘see’ an answer. Record anything that arises and reflect on it. It is even possible to carry on a conversation with your Shadow using this method. Just ensure that you have an open mindset. In other words, don’t try to control what is being said, just let it flow naturally. You will likely be surprised by the answers you receive!

Visualization is another helpful way of engaging in inner dialogue. I recommend bringing to mind images of dark forests, caves, holes in the ground, or the ocean as these all represent the unconscious mind. Always ensure that you enter and exit your visualization in the same manner, e.g. if you are walking down a path, make sure you walk back up the path. Or if you open a particular door, make sure you open the same door when returning back to normal consciousness. This practice will help to draw you effortlessly in and out of visualizations.

7. Use the Mirror Technique

As we have learned, projection is a technique of the Shadow that helps us to avoid what we have disowned. However, we don’t only project the deeper and darker aspects of ourselves onto others, we also project our light and positive attributes as well. For example, a person may be attracted to another who displays fierce self-assertiveness, not realizing that this quality is what they long to reunite with inside themselves. Another common example (this time negative) is judgmentalism. How many times have you heard someone say “he/she is so judgmental!” Ironically, the very person saying this doesn’t realize that calling another person ‘judgmental’ is actually pronouncing a judgment against them and revealing their own judgmental nature.

The Mirror Technique is the process of uncovering our projections. To practice this technique, we must adopt a mindful and honest approach towards the world: we need to be prepared to own that which we have disowned! Being radically truthful with ourselves can be difficult, so it does require practice. But essentially, we must adopt the mindset that other people are our mirrors. We must understand that those around us serve as the perfect canvas onto which we project all of our unconscious desires and fears.

Start this practice by examining your thoughts and feelings about those you come in contact with. Pay attention to moments when you’re emotionally triggered and ask yourself “am I projecting anything?” Remember: it is also possible to project our own qualities onto another person who really does possess the qualities. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as “projecting onto reality.” For example, we might project our rage onto another person who is, in fact, a rage-filled person. Or we might project our jealousy onto another who genuinely is jealous.

Ask yourself, “What is mine, what is theirs, and what is both of ours?” Not every triggering situation reveals a projection, but they more than often do. Also, look for things you love and adore about others, and uncover the hidden projections there.

The Mirror Technique will help you to shed a lot of light onto Shadow qualities that you have rejected, suppressed, repressed, or disowned. On a side note, you might also like to read about a similar practice called mirror work which helps you to come face-to-face with your own denied aspects.

XII. Shadow Work Q&A

Here are some commonly asked questions about shadow work:

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the psychological and spiritual practice of exploring our dark side or the ‘shadowy’ part of our nature. We all possess a place within us that contains our secrets, repressed feelings, shameful memories, impulses, and parts that are deemed “unacceptable” and “ugly.” This is our dark side or shadow self – and it is often symbolized as a monster, devil, or ferocious wild animal.

How to do shadow work?

There are many ways to practice shadow work. Some of the most powerful and effective techniques include journaling, artistically expressing your dark side (also known as art therapy), using a mirror to connect with this part of you (mirror work), guided meditations, exploring your projections, and examining your shadow archetypes.

What is the spiritual shadow?

There is light and darkness within all areas of life, and spirituality is not exempt. The spiritual shadow is what occurs when we fall into the traps of spiritual materialism – a phenomenon where we use spirituality to boost our egos and become arrogant, self-absorbed, and even narcissistic.

XIII. Shadow Self -Test

https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self-test/

As passionate proponents of Shadow Work, we have created a free Shadow Self test on this website for you to take. Like any test, take it with a grain of salt and use your own analysis to ultimately determine how ‘dominant’ your Shadow is in your life. Please remember that tests online cannot be 100% accurate, so see it as a fun self-discovery tool. And note: those who receive a “small Shadow Self” answer still need to do Shadow Work. No person is exempt. ;)

XIV. Own Your Shadow and You Will Own Your Life

If you are looking for some serious, authentic and long-lived healing in your life, Shadow Work is the perfect way to experience profound inner transformation. Remember that what you internalize is almost always externalized in one form or another.

Own your shadow and you will own your life.

Here are some final inspiring words:

“The secret is out: all of us, no exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves – our Shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is the devil to pay. This is one of life’s most urgent projects. — Larry Dossey (Healing Words)”

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” — Gail Sheehy

“Who has not at one time or another felt a sourness, wrath, selfishness, envy and pride, which he could not tell what to do with, or how to bear, rising up in him without his consent, casting a blackness over all his thoughts … It is exceeding good and beneficial to us to discover this dark, disordered fire of our soul; because when rightly known and rightly dealt with, it can as well be made the foundation of heaven as it is of hell. — William Law”

“To confront a person with his own shadow is to show him his own light. — Carl Jung”

189 notes · View notes

chibimyumi · 4 years

Note

how would you describe ciel’s and sebastian’s relationship? like yes literally it’s contractor and the one who agrees to the contract. but like their day to day relationship with eachother. i dont ship them but i love how they interact with one another but don’t know how to characterize their relationship.

Dear Anon,

O!Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship is not something I could fit into any inter-human relationship categories. This is because theirs is simply something that seems very unlikely for humans to have in our society. However, that is exactly what makes this master-servant duo interesting.

Most clinically, O!Ciel and Sebastian are indeed master and servant, child and adult. Though surely very rare, child-employers with adult-employees might exist in our world. What makes O!Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship unique is by no means limited to this ‘subversion’ of child-adult dynamic. Let us unpack this master-servant bond category by category, layer by layer.

1. Child vs Adult – Age Dynamic

A unique characteristic of O!Ciel and Sebastian’s relationship is how they do not behave like any child vs adult would. Sebas treats O!Ciel like a child, but he does not see his master as a child. And by ‘child’, I mean more specifically ‘a less-than-adult’ person. To Sebastian who is centuries old, a human who is 13 is as inexperienced and foolish as a 30 or 60 year old human. Instead, it seems like Sebas treats O!Ciel like a child only because it gets on his master’s nerves and it is entertaining.

We must remember that humans are cattle to Sebas, and that O!Ciel is no exception. For analogy’s sake, let us imagine a pig. Humans usually don’t have a higher regard or respect for adult pigs than they have for piglets. We don’t take adult pigs more seriously than we do piglets.

2. Master vs Servant – Power Dynamic

The most unique part in O!Ciel and Sebas’ relationship is not that a child is the employer of an adult, omnipotent demon. The uniqueness is in the detail that this specific employer has absolute command over Sebastian, and can even use the demon’s powers against him at will. We see in the Werewolf Arc for example, how O!Ciel has practically already broken his end of the contract. Sebastian was in full right to claim his payment for his service and return home. But since the contract was technically not over yet, O!Ciel stopped the demon from exerting his right with just one simple phrase: “it’s an order.”

Sebastian may seem all-powerful, but if O!Ciel wishes to make Sebas do something against his will, O!Ciel merely needs to use the binding magical term “it’s an order”. This binding term is so powerful it can infringe all of Sebastian’s personal autonomy, and it would be ““legal””. What if Sebas doesn’t want to be touched? “It’s an order, let person X touch you and get away without harm.” What if Sebas doesn’t want to expose himself to lethal danger? “It’s an order, do it anyway.”

This is the reason why SebaCiel could never work (even if O!Ciel were an adult!), simply because the power balance is inherently tipped way too much to O!Ciel’s side. A romantic and/or sexual relationship cannot work as long as the power balance is off, and true consent cannot be given on all sides. Consent that can be coerced, or cannot be withdrawn freely, is not true consent, after all.

3. Master vs Servant - Bickering

There is a lot of back-and-forth bickering between O!Ciel and Sebastian, which is very uncharacteristic of employer-employee relationships (No way I’m going to bicker against my boss!) Sometimes the bickering is light-hearted and comical, and I surmise this is part of the reason people might have the illusion that their power-dynamic is not completely off (as described above).

This light-hearted bickering is a great appeal, and it makes the master not behave like a full master, and the servant not like a full servant. On surface their contract bears semblance to a friendly relationship wherein both parties also fulfil their respective roles in this employment. This is a powerful ingredient in their usually fantastic cooperation during their missions! O!Ciel allows Sebas some freedom (when he sees fit), while Sebas returns this ‘kind gesture’ with helpful initiatives (when he sees fit). I dare say that many if not most ‘Kuroshitsuji’ fans are here exactly for this reason. Regardless of how fantastic this cooperation might be however, at core their relationship is still ‘employment’.

On the darker side however, this bickering is also one of the fruits born from insidious manipulation. In this post I discussed how Sebastian stretches his arms and legs as WIDELY as possible within his tiny constraints. To a certain extent, O!Ciel turns a blind eye (pun not intended) to it. Why though?

Of course O!Ciel is not a complete tyrant towards Sebastian, but this is the result that Sebastian managed to fight and win for himself. All the way back in chapter 138 Sebas didn’t even know O!Ciel yet, and yet he already made very clear that:

He should not try to exert too much control over him

That if he does try to do so, he should be careful with words

That if he is not careful, Sebas will take any opportunity to punish him for careless word-choice

In this small incident O!Ciel learned that if his demon misbehaves, he’d have himself to blame. THIS is the silent lesson Sebas instilled into the boy; that if Sebas mistreats O!Ciel, it is not Sebas who crossed boundaries, but that O!Ciel didn’t set the boundaries right. “O!Ciel had it coming”. This lesson taught by Sebas leans dangerously close to – if not downright within – the category of victim-blaming. (Sebas you trashy Trash Demon™, I love you.)

3.1. Circus Arc

So far in the manga, the most obvious example of this victim-blaming dynamic is the incident with the snakes in the Circus Arc. Sebas very clearly reminded O!Ciel that he is not above allowing his master to get hurt semi-mortally. O!Ciel was seething when he found out, and justly so. But did Sebas show any remorse? Of course not. Instead he blamed O!Ciel for:

Not being careful enough with his commands

Being too boring to see the ‘fun’ in this game

3.2. Jack the Ripper Arc

Far more dramatically, this same victim-blaming dynamic can found in the Jack the Ripper Arc, and this one arguably even dictated how O!Ciel is going to become as a person.

In the Ripper Arc Sebas also obeyed O!Ciel’s order to the T. But that’s it; only to the T and nothing more. Because the demon deliberately withheld information from his master necessary for the investigation, more victims fell while the case was still in O!Ciel’s hands. Who gets the blame? Jack the Ripper obviously. But who is made to bear the guilt? O!Ciel is; through the victim-blaming Sebastian made him internalise.

O!Ciel is still O!Ciel, so he probably didn’t really lose any sleep over the deaths of 5 people. But had he not been him, then surely this guilt would have been mind-crippling. However, we need to bear in mind that O!Ciel was not unaffected; had Sebas not withheld information, then O!Ciel would have stopped the murders earlier, and presented a scapegoat to the Queen. Let’s be fair, had Madam been arrested then she’d still be awaiting capital punishment. But as the Watchdog, O!Ciel pulls some strings. He would have tried VERY hard not to lose his aunt too.

As it is however, the enormous guilt about the death of his own aunt is what Sebas made O!Ciel suffer through slow and insidious manipulation. Sebas never gave O!Ciel the time to mourn his aunt, and instead pressured the boy into admitting that he ‘callously sacrificed Madam as a pawn’. He made him mentally TAKE the blame for the murder that Grell committed, and Sebas could have helped prevent.

As we can see in chapter 13, O!Ciel was desperately trying to externalise the blame, coming up with excuse after excuse, justification after justification. None however, works. Good seasoning skills, Sebas, amazing food-prep.

I am fairly certain that O!Ciel doesn’t even realise how much he’s being emotionally manipulated by his butler throughout the years. This insight about emotional manipulation and psychological abuse is something that requires a level of abstract comprehension we cannot expect from most people, let alone a 13 year old child (however smart they may be.)

4. Conclusion

In conclusion, both Sebas and O!Ciel exist in this relationship rather amicably on surface level, but they are inherently toxic to each other. Sebas is continuously manipulating and emotionally abusing O!Ciel, while O!Ciel holds the absolute power to infringe all of Sebastian’s autonomy.

This ⇊ illustration by Yana is the perfect symbolisation of their bond.

We can attach adjectives like “f*cking toxic” and “fascinating” to this relationship, but we can’t find a category of inter-human relationship to fit O!Ciel and Sebastian into. In real life there are no children who can wield magical command to strip someone entirely of their autonomy. Likewise, there are very few adults who would not consider a child as ‘less-than-adult’. Should we try to shoe-horn O!Ciel and Sebas into a human category, then we risk over-simplifying this relationship. Over-simplification of this relationship can be very harmful, because the subverted formula of “child-master and adult-servant” SEEMS to compensate for the inherent power imbalance.

Yana however, managed to write this relationship SO brilliantly complex, that Sebas will always remain the servant who is at O!Ciel’s mercy, while O!Ciel suffers continuous mental abuse despite holding the ultimate ace card against a demon. This complex relationship is the ultimate evidence that even the most toxic relationships can look functional on surface level, and I love hating it!

I hope this helps give some insight!

#Kuroshitsuji #Black Butler #Sebastian Michaelis #Ciel Phantomhive #O!Ciel #Our!Ciel #Our Ciel #Relationship #relation #bond #master servant #NOT Sebaciel #Honestly ... the power dynamic is ALL off #Sebastian CAN'T consent #Character analysis #analysis #relationship analysis #THEY ARE SO TOXIC AND I LOVE IT

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whosaysitsfantasy · 4 years

Text

Juke/Maddison & Charlie

So I just want to address something about Juke and then I’m literally not going to talk about it again, because I’ve seen a few posts about people shipping the actors and then people hating on the ship a little bit because of the age gap and it’s just been frustrating me so I wan’t to kinda get this out and then just get back to enjoying the show. Also Apologies if this upsets anyone but these are my opinions and you in no way have to agree with them I just ask that you read my thoughts fully before passing judgment and to please be respectful.

Here is what I think it is ok to do:

Shipping Luke and Julie together. Why? Because in the show they are both teenagers (16/17). I saw someone say it was kinda gross because the boys should be like 42? which I think is a little ridiculous because if they had lived sure they would have been 42 or w.e. but they didn’t... they died, and it is canon that to them no time has passed. What this means is that the boys are still mentally, emotionally and physically 17 years old. For this reason the characters are perfectly capable of being together and their biggest obstacle remains Luke being a ghost lol.

Here is what I think it is NOT ok to do:

Shipping Maddison and Charlie together in real life. Now I’m going to break down for you why this is gross and not ok and why saying “when she’s 18 he can date her” is also not ok.

A 16 year old and a 22 year old have two completely different maturity levels. A 16 year old can be mature absolutely but that doesn’t mean that they are at the same maturity level as a 22 year old. I’m 26 and I can tell you that my maturity changed DRASTICALLY between the ages of 16-24. I use to think I was very mature when I was 16. When I hit 22 and looked back at who I was I realized that I was not nearly as mature as I believed I was and now at 26 I can clearly see the differences in who I was as a person at these ages. I can guarantee that most people (if they’re self aware enough) would agree that their maturity level was completely different as a teenager then it was once they hit their twenties. A lot of this has to do with the simple fact that in your 20′s you’ve typically gained more life experience through jobs, and relationships and higher education your brain has also developed more. Now. Maddison is definitely mature for her age in no way am I claiming she isn’t however it is still very obvious through different interviews and lives I’ve seen of her and of Charlie that they are not at the same level. Mentally, emotionally, physically.They definitely have more of a brother/sister friendship. It’s clear that they care about each other and they can of course get a long as friends but friendship and an intimate relationship are two completely different things. Maddison and Charlie’s maturity’s work fine as a friendship but if you were to factor in intimacy and romance it quickly becomes problematic. Some people might still think that the maturity levels don’t matter. I’m here to tell you it does.

While I don’t think that Charlie would be the type of guy to ever pressure a girl he is with, that doesn’t mean that the pressure would not still exist. If they were to hypothetically date Maddison could easily feel pressured into participating in things she might not really feel ready for like certain intimate acts, parties ect because she want’s to please her partner or because she might feel like this is what she SHOULD be doing rather then doing what she is emotionally and mentally ready for. That pressure can easily influence someone of a young age who hasn’t had many experiences into doing things they eventually regret or doing things that end up having a negative impact on their mental health and the way they view themselves or even how they view healthy/unhealthy relationships down the line. Now Maddison seems smart and has a good support system but your support system can’t protect you 24/7 in an intimate relationship no matter how hard they try which is why a lot of teenagers end up going through something that they end up wishing they hadn’t done because they didn’t know any better. To also say that he can just “wait” for her to turn 18 is just predatory and gross and suggests that it’s still ok to pursue someone of a young age so long as you wait till they are legal which it is not that still means you wanted to be with a minor even if you wait till they are 18.

Also it is important to note that an actors personal life is NONE of your business. An Actors job is to perform in the show/play/movie that they have been hired to perform in and to then promote that project. That’s it. That is all they owe you and anything else is entirely up to their discretion. You are not owed information about their personal lives and you are not owed a say in who they date. If you like two actors who are dating and you think they are cute that’s fine, if they are sharing their relationship and you want to support it that is fine but you have to understand boundaries. I’ve seen fans overstep in a LOT of fandoms (one example being Lili and Cole from Riverdale) where they attack other people for being close to the people in the relationship or they bother the actors to update them about their relationship ect. It’s disrespectful and it’s honestly not your place regardless of if they have shared information about a relationship previously. It’s also not cool to try to pressure the actors into dating, you don’t know what they are actually like irl you have no idea if they are actually compatible you do not have a full picture of the situation and for that reason your opinion should be kept to yourself.

Finally I want to address the whole Luke & Julie kissing issue because I totally understand why people are a little uncertain about it due to the age gap. Now normally I’d be a little put off by it but I am actually ok with the idea of Luke and Julie kissing on screen and I’m just going to list off quickly below why I think it’s ok and why I wouldn’t get upset if it happened.

1. It is very clear that Maddison’s family (specifically her dad) are very involved with Maddison and her job on JATP. Mr.Reyes is often shown on set with her at rehearsals and during shooting. He was there when they practiced the perfect harmony dance which I personally thought was kinda intimate. I feel better about it because I know she has a strong support system who will be there to ensure that if a kiss DID happen she would be safe because she has her family looking out for her on set.

2. Much like above both Kenny and Charlie are very respectful people who very clearly have a lot of respect and love for Maddison. I also don’t think they would ever put Maddison into a position she was uncomfortable with. If a kiss DID happen I am sure there will be a lot of conversations about it and it would be done in a respectful healthy way.

3. This is a job. They are not kissing because they like each other in real life they are not pursuing anything romantically. They are performing a job that they are being paid for in front of a group of people also performing a job. This for me helps me feel less gross about it because even though they are actually kissing it’s not a ‘real’ romantic kiss. It’ll be a staged one that they have gone over and discussed at length with Kenny.

4. This is a Kenny Ortega project. The show has very clearly established that the relationships are about more than physical intimacy. IF we get a kiss between Julie and Luke we are not going to get more then a PG rated kiss.. hell probably more of a G rated kiss. Not only because this is a project by Kenny but because the actors are different ages. It is also unlikely that we will get more then one maybe two kisses a season. I personally don’t think they’re going to make them kiss in season two I think it might happen if we get season 3 but I would still be ok with a season 2 kiss because again it will probably be very simple and very respectful especially cause it’ll also probably be Julie’s 1st kiss. If they were to have them make out or something that would be when I would feel uncomfortable, but that just doesn’t seem like Kenny’s vibe. He’s worked with a lot of young actors and it’s not like they’re going to french kiss or something. Kissing is intimate of course but a small closed mouth kiss is honestly pretty innocent in my opinion especially if done correctly. So it doesn’t bother me much.

5. Finally by the time they get around to filming a season 2 or 3 Maddison will also be a bit older (17 or 18) hopefully so she will also be at an age where it will feel more comfortable for her.

So in conclusion: shipping Juke good, shipping Maddy & Charlie bad and wanting Juke to kiss is acceptable so long as they do it appropriately which from what I’ve seen of the cast and the crew I believe they would. I personally have a lot of faith in the creators of this show it’s clearly a very healthy supportive environment and I trust that they know what they are doing.

Again these are my personal opinions but I felt like some people weren’t really looking at it from a completely logical standpoint but more of an emotional one which is understandable because its a very serious subject matter and it could very well also be a trigger for many people who’ve gone through something similar. I just needed to get all that off my chest cause this kind of thing can breed negativity in fandoms and thats why I don’t participate in them anymore. and listen if this was a different show with a different cast and crew and creator and they had a 16 year old and a 22 year old kissing I would probably find it more unsettling but I think one of the reasons why we all love this show so much is BECAUSE it is so healthy and because the cast are so involved and vocal about the show. I have no doubt in my mind that Maddison would have the space to speak up if she was uncomfortable and I have no doubt in my mind that Kenny and her family would make sure she was safe.

So anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk and please if you disagree that’s totally ok just don’t be hateful, I’m happy to have discussions but I won’t tolerate rudeness cause at the end of the day it’s a show and it’s out of our hands and I’m not saying you have to agree with me. This is just how I feel about these issues.

Ok thanks bye <3

#Jatp #Julie and the phantoms #Juke #Julie and luke #Julie molina #Luke patterson #maddison reyes #charlie gillespie #Just my opinion you don't have to agree #please just be respectful

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sxveme-2 · 3 years

Text

strawberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

SEQUEL TO BLUEBERRY PANCAKES

DESCRIPTION: Lily Osborne and Bucky Barnes were never blessed with an easy relationship. Whether it be emotional trauma, or Lily's parents trying to be evil scientists. But they somehow made it work, after coming together once again after the birth of Lily's nephew. They were smooth sailing for a while. He proposed, they got engaged, but have yet to marry. While also juggling raising a teenager together as Hunter reaches the age of 16 now. All the while struggling with adjusting to their new lives in Long Island, balancing careers. Meanwhile, Lily struggles with the new found fame of being the fiancé of The White Wolf; and handling the tabloids critiques on her life and gossip columns digging up any information they can on her. While trying to maintain a low profile; and handle her life as it is. And becoming parents. Lily for the second time, while Bucky, well, this is his first attempt at a biological child. All the while a new threat from their past rises up once again, blind siding the family. Bringing forward old hatchets that had been buried, and putting their relationship at risk once more.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

STATUS: Unedited

NOTES: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Three: The One With Their Marriage

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 2923

“Don’t start this right now Lily,” Bucky sighed, running his hands down his face, “It’s been a long day.”

“Been a long two years,” she muttered, staring at the ring on her finger, fiddling with it, “You know in a month it’ll be two years since you proposed?”

“Yes I know,” he grunted, readjusting in the bed to face the blonde, “We’ve both been so busy.”

Sure, they had been busy. With both working full-time, raising Stella, and handling teenage mood swings from Hunter, there wasn’t a whole lot of time left in the day for them to plan a wedding. But it’s not like they had no time at all, it had been two years since Bucky had dropped down on one knee and asked Lily to marry him. Two years later, she went by his last name, mothered his child, and lived her life with him. But he was always the one to push the marriage portion of their relationship aside. He never wanted to talk about it or even consider planning something.

“Steve and Nat are busy,” Lily retorted, turning to look at the brunette as he readjusted the reading glasses on his face, “But they’re getting married next week, Bucky.”

Lily longed for the security of a marriage. Many people thought that because of her traumatic experience with being married in the past, she wouldn’t want to go through that again. But in reality, she wanted it more than ever with Bucky. She knew he loved her and vice versa, but having an official concrete answer is something she longed for. They’d already had a kid, she’d taken his last name, they had done everything that traditionally happens after marriage. But then again, their relationship was anything but traditional.

“Steve’s retired,” Bucky countered, dropping his book down onto the bed with a sigh, “Where is this coming from? I thought we’d agreed on this.”

“First of all, no, we didn’t agree on anything,” Lily chuckled, rolling her eyes, “You got frustrated and walked away. And I don’t know...the comments people make are just…”

Groaning, Bucky flopped back down onto his back, “You’re shitting me? That’s what’s causing this? God, Lily.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?” Lily scoffed back, looking at the man, “When all I see are rumours about why you won’t marry your child’s mother and your own damn fiance!”

One thing about Bucky and Lily’s relationship is the fact that it was something so human, that both of them were shocked by it most of the time. Neither had experienced much normalcy in their love lives throughout their time but brought it to each other at such a domestic level that it freaked them out. Specifically Bucky. He had always dreamed of something as simple and organic as what he had with Lily, but after becoming the Winter Soldier, he was never sure he’d be able to have it.

But the small arguments and squabbles between them reminded Bucky that he had achieved something great. He had beat his demons and found love with someone who didn’t see him as an Avenger, or ex HYDRA agent, but as Bucky. He wasn’t Steve Rogers’s best friend or Sam Wilson’s partner in crime. He was just Bucky. Lover, fiance, father. Whenever they visited his sister in Manhattan, he would always pull the man aside and tell him just how lucky he had been to score someone like Lily.

-----

“Hunter, why don’t we go see how the chicken’s doing in the kitchen while Auntie Rebecca talks with Bucky?” Lily whispered, leading the young boy out of the room with a knowing nod to her boyfriend’s sister.

Bucky sat just adjacent to his sister, sipping on a glass of water. He watched Lily walk out with Hunter, admiring the wait her hair moved gently across her back as she moved. Every day he saw her, he fell deeper in love with the blonde. She was everything Bucky longed for in life and so much more. From the moment she handed him his wallet in the cafe a year ago, he knew she was the one for him. Just the way her eyes looked at him. Through the facade and through the public’s interpretation of him.

“I’ve never seen that look on your face before,” Rebecca commented, crossing her legs and lowering her gaze at her brother, “It’s something I only ever see when you’re looking at Lily.”

“I can’t help it,” he whispered, voice trailing off as he admired her in the kitchen, watching as her hands traced patterns on her already swollen stomach, “I didn’t think I’d be able to get someone like her to love me.”

“You didn’t get her to do anything,” Rebecca scoffed, “She fell in love with you willingly...Even after all of these years, you’re still so dramatic.”

“We’re talking about me legally adopting Hunter,” Bucky trailed off, eyes going soft as he met his sisters matching ones, “Becoming a proper family.”

The man’s younger sister rolled her eyes, tucking a piece of her white hair behind her ear, “You became a real family the moment you realized you were in love with her.”

-----

They had never officially filed the adoption paperwork, despite having Scott’s signature. It sat in Lily’s office in a drawer alone, waiting for them to make Hunter an official Barnes. But something always held them back, not necessarily in a bad way. It wasn’t something that really solidified anything for the family. As far as they were all concerned, Hunter was already Bucky’s son. Not by blood, but through the soul. The two were similar in ways Lily found hard to believe sometimes. She wondered if in some freak accident it was really Bucky’s son. She chalked it up to the two merely being kindred spirits.

However, Bucky knew Lily’s insecurities. How she kept every small comment made by the public about their private lives. Whether it be what she wore at an event, or when they were out as a family. Lily had grown more confident in herself but Bucky still saw that scared single mom living in Manhattan he had met all those years ago. Still healing from a broken marriage with an emotionally manipulative husband.

Sighing, the brunette rolled over and caged the blonde underneath him. She stared at him with confused eyes, looking up at the man on top of her with her eyebrows furrowed. He sat there for a second, staring at her face. He already had everything about her memorized, but sometimes, she just took his breath away. How he had managed to fall in love with someone as perfect as Lily was in his eyes...he didn’t have any words for it.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Lily questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

“Do you know how in love with you I am?” He whispered, lifting his flesh hand and brushing his thumb across her cheekbone.

Lowering her amber eyes at him, the blonde shook her head, “Don’t think this is getting you out of this conversation, Barnes.”

Bending down, Bucky placed a soft peck to his girl’s forehead before pushing himself onto his back again, “We’ll start planning tomorrow.”

This time, it was Lily rolling on top of the man, a bright smile on her face as she pressed a passionate and powerful kiss to his lips. He chuckled and laid his hands on her waist, running small patterns into her hips as she continued the assault on his lips. Both of their eyes fluttered shut as they revelled in one another’s touch and presence. The two had found each other in a cafe and became the other half to each other’s hearts that same day. When the blonde pulled back, Bucky chuckled, raising his eyebrow.

“What was that for exactly?” He chuckled, removing his glasses.

“A little sneak peek for what you get tonight,” she cooed, hand reaching down to the hem of his shirt, earning a chuckle from Bucky.

“That’s my girl.”

----

A week later, Lily found herself fussing at her computer as she attempted to find a place to book a wedding dress appointment. Everywhere she had tried was either booked or too far away for her to drive. She didn’t exactly feel like leaving her state to go and find a wedding dress. She had spent her entire day off on the phone with various stores, trying to get an appointment within the next month.

A task that had proven itself to be impossible.

“Whatchu doin’ mom?” Stella hummed as she pushed open the door to Lily’s office, making her way over to the desk.

Glancing down, Lily smiled gently at her daughter, “Trying to find a wedding dress store. Wanna help?” the blonde asked, chuckling as her daughter tried to see over the desk.

Stella nodded, climbing into her mom’s lap as the blonde continued to scroll through a website before the young girl chimed in, “Where?”

Lily sighed as she stroked the brunette’s hair, “Well that’s the problem. Mama can’t seem to find a place. Nowhere I’ve looked has any bookings or any dresses that I like.”

“Where’d you get your first?” she asked, looking up at her mother.

Lily pursed her lips as she looked at her daughter. The memory of her first wedding was something Lily tended to block out of her mind. It was the first night she felt fear that Scott was going to physically harm her. Years after, she had hidden her wedding dress away in a box that now sat in a storage cellar that they had. Stella knew that her mother had been married before and that it was to the man that had helped create Hunter, but nothing more than that. She had seen Scott a few times when he came to give Hunter his birthday or Christmas presents, but that was it. Even then, Stella wouldn’t be able to pick out her mom’s ex-husband in a crowd.

“Well your Uncle had taken me somewhere we had found, but it closed a few years back, bub,” she cooed, tucking a dark strand of hair behind Stella’s ear.

“Will I ever meet him?” She asked, bright blue eyes staring right through Lily, “Uncle Cedar?”

Lily’s heart sunk. She knew that it probably wasn’t the best idea to tell Stella about her Uncle, but she couldn’t just pretend Cedar didn’t exist. He was still Lily’s brother, despite the terrible things he and her parents had done. Bucky and Lily told Stella that her uncle lived in a place they couldn’t go and that it was too far away. But she knew that in a few years, when Stella was older, that she’d find out the truth.

“I don’t think so, darling,” Lily hummed, pressing a kiss to the girl’s temple, “But, why don’t you help mommy get ready for Uncle Steve and Aunt Nat’s dinner tonight?”

“Okay!”

-----

"It's so nice of you guys to come." Nat cooed as she pressed a kiss to Lily's cheek, beckoning her and the man that accompanied her further into the room, "But you're so early!"

"I wanted to make sure we weren't late." Lily hummed.

"We're an hour early, doll." He whispered into her ear, pressing a kiss to the shell of it as he pulled away.

"Well someone wanted to do something else," Lily laughed, her lips tight as she nudged him in the ribs, "But I figured we could help out too if we came a bit earlier."

"There's an empty room in the back if he can't contain himself." Steve laughed as he approached, nodding his head at the couple, "Nice to see my best man show up early though."

"Don't get all emotional on me, punk." Bucky chuckled as he removed his arm from Lily's waist, walking forward and wrapping his arms around Steve's shoulders.

"C'mon Lily, let's let these two have their moment to gaze into each other's eyes," Nat chuckled, lacing her arm with the blondes and tugging her away, "Okay what was the real reason you came so early."

"It's true, I was worried that we'd be late." Lily chuckled, taking a seat at a table with the redhead.

It was true. The dinner didn't start until 7:30, and it was only 6:30. But Lily was a punctual person, the last thing she wanted to do was be late for two of her close friend’s rehearsal dinner. Plus, they lived an hour away from Brooklyn, all the way on the coast of Long Island. Lily's hometown. The two were lucky to find the home of their dreams mere weeks after their own engagement and packed up from Lily's suburban colonial in Manhattan to a beautiful beach house on the lake.

The Avengers paid well.

Lily had switched positions to a superhuman consultant at an Avengers-funded hospital in Long Island. She mainly handled child mutants who were developing abilities and helping them through the changes in their body. Bucky on the other hand ran a therapy/group session for veterans, and those who served alongside the Avengers in various battles. It was the perfect outcome for the two, allowing them to work alongside each other in the same building, in opposite wings though. Of course, the two didn't really interact during the day unless a patient was attending a session across the way.

But it also meant that Lily was in direct contact with Tony Stark so often that she wanted to throttle him.

"Look who decided to crash the party!" Tony's voice rang out as he entered the room, a tight smile stretching across Lily's lips.

"Always a pleasure, Stark," Lily sighed, glancing up from her drink and tilting her head as the man walked over, "What brings you here so early?"

"Well I'm the stand-in father of the bride, can't miss my daughter's rehearsal dinner now can I?" Stark chuckled, taking a seat next to Nat, "You look lovely tonight Lily."

Glancing down, Lily assessed her outfit for the night. A flowy dress that reached down to just at her mid-shin. It had slight ruffles at the top along the neckline and near the bottom of the dress and was a lighter shade of black with small red rose decals covering it. It was a nice dress, she had to admit. Rose had brought it over the week before when she visited with Leo.

"You clean up well too, Stark," Lily quipped back, smiling softly when Bucky brought her over a vodka-cranberry, "And I had to look nice, couldn't let robocop over here outshine me."

A light-hearted conversation ensued, allowing Lily to relax a bit more. Bucky kept his hand resting gently on her knee the entire time, rubbing small patterns whenever her words became jumbled or cheek heated up. Small tells that let him know that her mind was racing at a million miles a minute. It was something the two had developed over the last few years of their relationship. It worked vice versa as well, though typically Lily just escorted Bucky away from the conversation.

The two worked together with one another in tandem. Both levelling out what the other was lacking. He reminded her just how loved and beautiful she was, and that he wouldn't change anything about her. While she reminded him that he was not a monster, and what happened was not his own doing. Each was the other's safety net in the crazy lives they lived. But it worked well for them, for four years now.

"Now when are you two going to figure it out and start planning your own wedding," Steve asked as everyone mingled after dinner was finished, "It's been two years since Buck popped the question."

"Oh come on now Steve," Sam chuckled, walking over towards the group, "Let's not raz these two. You'll only make them push it back further."

"In Bucky and Lily's defence, they did have a few unexpected events pop up along the way." Nat chuckled, leaning her head on Steve's shoulder.

Lily shook her head, sipping her water. In all honesty, she was wondering herself when the two were going to officially tie the knot. Bucky had proposed on their two-year anniversary, and here they were four years strong with no official marriage certificate in their name. Lily had naturally begun to start going by Dr. Barnes, and no one really questioned it. Hunter even said that multiple kids at school asked if Bucky was his real father. It would only make sense for the two to make it legally official soon.

She worried sometimes, that he was regretting his decision about proposing to her. That he changed his mind and wanted to leave it so the breakup wasn't a messy legal battle. Despite the fact, it would be because of outside factors like the house and other influences. But their conversation the other night created a sense of ease in Lily, especially since they had found a venue they both loved.

"We’ve actually just started our planning," Bucky stated simply, sipping his old-fashioned and squeezing Lily's waist gently.

"Yeah so bugger off Steve." Lily teased tensley, pursing her lips. This earned a barked laugh from the former Avenger, prompting his response.

“That’s awesome, about time,” Steve chuckled, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

The following half an hour continued on like that, people wondering things about Bucky and Lily’s wedding. But honestly, Lily could barely keep her own excitement about it to herself. But she contained it, knowing that this was a night about Natasha and Steve. After tomorrow, she’d be able to be a bit more excited about things.

She hoped, at least.

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boltwrites · 4 years

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Okay could I have please headcanons for Bolin x reader but with a clone of Bolin. The clone is Nuktuk. So it looks like Bolin but acts like the character. Ty!

kinktober 2020 | this week’s list

A/N: this prompt is FANTASTIC this is so much fun. also very long. and with plot! also i LOVE writing Nuktuk he’s like the fucking. stupid frat boy version of Bolin he’s such a dickhead. ANYWAY ENJOY! (reminder that y/p stands for your pronouns!)

by clicking read more you verify that you are at least 18 years old

so, you’re just hanging out in your apartment. Bolin went out to that nice dumpling place you both like to get you dinner, and you were just chilling with Pabu

that was, until Bolin slammed through the door

“we have a situation-!” he yelled, looking far more concerned than he did at any given time. you sprung up immediately, Pabu scampering to help Bolin

“what? what ha-oh” your expression switched from worry to amazement as a figure appeared behind Bolin. he looked exactly the same - except for his, uh, outfit. and his eyes, which were an icy blue

“nice place you got here,” he nodded at you, with a little flirtatious smile. you might pass away

“Bolin... can we talk in the other room... in private,” you added, as the weird man who looked disturbingly like your boyfriend’s on screen alter-ego raised his eyebrows

you and Bolin retreated to the other room, and you whisper-yelled at him

“what the fuck - Bo where did he come from?” “listen, i don’t know! i guess the dumpling place is pretty close to the spirit world portal - maybe he’s from there? but why does he look like me? but like, Nuktuk me! but like older Nuktuk me!”

you hadn’t even thought of that, but - now that he mentioned it, this Nuktuk did look exactly like Bolin. not like 17 year old Bolin who had shot the films, but current day, 21 year old Bolin who had gained more muscle and a little bit of stubble if he didn’t shave every day

“but why did he follow you home?” “he thought i was him, or that - he was me?” Bolin pressed his face into his hands “this is hurting my brain, Y/n!”

you patted him on the shoulder. “it’s ok, Bo. we’ll figure this out

so, you both faced weird Nuktuk man

who, was, in fact, Nuktuk. apparently, in the spirit world, if enough people retell and spread a specific story, it can become real in the spirit world. and, as such, Nuktuk was born. he had actually done all the things that Bolin had as Nuktuk’s actor, memories and all

and he had the attitude to match it. he was nice enough, you thought, but he was kind of conceited. you swore you saw him flexing at himself in the hall mirror

he apparently had come to the human world to see what all the hype was about, and he was super excited that he had found Bolin, calling him a long lost brother-in-arms

Bolin begrudgingly accepted Nuktuk’s compliments, and when Nuktuk asked if you and Bolin could offer him some hospitality and let him stay the night, Bolin couldn’t tell him no

he actually ended up staying far longer than one night. and spirits, he was always running into you or starting to strike up a conversation. and it was distracting. it felt like you were emotionally cheating on your boyfriend with a weird spirit version of himself, because when Nuktuk raked his eyes along your body it made you shiver, and he stood far too close when he complimented your cooking. everything he said to you sounded vaguely sexual and it was destroying you

eventually, you had to confront Bolin about it

“ok, Bo, i have to start this off with the fact that i love you very much,” you began, standing and pacing as Bolin pet Pabu on the bed. he raised an eyebrow, a little concerned. “but unfortunately that’s becoming a problem, because Nuktuk out there keeps making advances and he says these things that are like, not actually sexual but he makes them sexual and he looks like you and he undresses me with his eyes and we need to do something about it!”

you glanced at Bolin, concerned, and he worried his lip between his teeth. “maybe we should talk to him?” he offered. you scoffed. “talk to him? he needs to get out of here! it feels like i’m cheating on you with you!”

Bolin nodded, thoughtful “you’re right, i am very handsome in the Nuktuk outfit” (which, by the way, was the only thing that Nuktuk would wear around the house, unless it was in the wash. you kind of preferred it, because it reminded you who he was and prevented you from hugging him from behind when you got home, thinking he was Bolin)

you groaned, but Bolin insisted that you talk to Nuktuk instead of just throwing him out. despite some reservations when he first showed up, Bolin had grown to like the guy, calling him his “work out buddy” and even asking him to help out at the pro bending arena as a waterbending trainer

so, Bolin talked to him. you didn’t want to be there, because it was embarrassing, but once they were done, they both approached you together.

“so, is everything all worked out?” you asked, wary, because Nuktuk was still looking at you in a sexual way... and Bolin was too? wait, what?

“yeah, we did, actually,” Bolin replied, with a little half grin. Nuktuk’s own grin was lazy and very, very hot. “so, Y/n,” Nuktuk asked, his arms crossed, “how do you feel about being with both of us?”

you choked on your own spit

“what!?”

so, now you were in a relationship with the both of them, and Bolin was completely fine with it. in fact, he was friends with Nuktuk. friends with him!

and Nuktuk now had free reign to crowd you against the kitchen counter, and kiss you goodnight - and you thought he would kiss like Bolin, but he doesn’t, it’s so much more intense every time, and it leaves you gasping

after a few weeks, you stop focusing so much on how strange and different it is, and instead you ease into the relationship. Nuktuk takes you on a few dates (one of which is to a showing of his own mover, where he wears a stupid disguise) and you end up liking him as his own person, not just because he looks like Bolin

ok, like, his looks are definitely a part of it. he’s so pretty. but he’s also a little more confident than Bolin, and while he’s full of himself, he also still manages to be a dork. he likes puns and he’s a real gentleman, just like Bolin is - but Nuktuk takes it to a new level. literally one time you both go out while it’s raining and he bends the water around you to keep you dry. you were equal parts amazed, flattered, and a little annoyed because of how pleased with himself Nuktuk was

eventually, you and Bolin let him into your bed. not sexually, at first - just to sleep. and you have to admit that being pressed between the both of them is something you love dearly

you press your face to Bolin’s shoulder as you fall asleep, and Nuktuk is pressed to your back? and both of you talk about your days all together before you go to sleep, Bolin petting through your hair as Nuktuk just touches you - it’s very hard for you to not get turned on between the both of them. and actually, you are turned on, but you don’t want to push it

eventually, you do press that extra little bit, and one evening, you climb into bed with them, and Nuktuk is running his hands over your sides, sliding his fingers up your shirt, and you just can’t anymore

you don’t say a thing, you just grab his hand under the covers and slide it under your waistband, your breath hitching a little against Bolin’s shoulder as you will his hand lower and spread your legs for him

Bolin is just telling you about his day, petting through your hair, looking at you so sweet, when Nuktuk traces his fingers against you so light and you do your absolute best not to shake

he’s pressed completely against your back, and you can feel him harden against your ass as he touches you, explores you. eventually he slides a finger into you and your breathe hitches, pressing your face into Bolin’s chest

“Y/n? are you ok?” he asks, mistaking your labored breathing as pain rather that pleasure. Nuktuk took this as the perfect opportunity to slide his thumb along your sweet spot, and instead of replying, you just gasp. it wouldn’t usually be this good, but the fact that Bolin was there, and that it was your first time with both of them? had you dying

“Y/n’s perfect, aren’t you?” Nuktuk asked, and you just gasped, clutching at Bolin. “Bo, please-” you mumbled, with a look in your eyes that he immediately recognized. you had already discussed a threesome with him before, and you knew he was into it - you hadn’t wanted to just spring it on him like this, but you couldn’t resist

“oh, oh,” Bolin replied, peeling off the covers to reveal what was happening underneath. you rocked into Nuktuk’s touch, even though it was just a horrible tease. you could feel his smirk on your neck as he added a second finger, just to spread you wide

“i think Y/n could take both of us, don’t you?” Nuktuk asked, and you had a perfect view of Bolin’s face to see it turn beet red. the boxers he slept in weren’t leaving much to the imagination as he took everything in

“Y/n is that -” Bolin started, but Nuktuk cut him off. “c’mon sweetheart, tell him you can take it. you want it, don’t you? you’ve wanted both of us since you first saw me”

it was demeaning, but spirits, was he right. you nodded, pleading with your eyes for Bolin to believe you

he did, and it didn’t take long until both of their hands were on you, Bolin stripped off his boxers as he pulled you close, sliding his hands along you to take your clothes off. Nuktuk was still plunging his fingers into you, but now he wrapped his other hand around you as well, to feel along your thighs, to take you apart with two hands. despite him trying to tease you, it just felt so good - all of their hands on you. you had always loved Bolin’s hands - how big they were, how warm they were, how his callouses felt on your skin. it was too much, and you panted against Bolin’s mouth as he drew you in for deep kisses, kissing you so sweet and gentle compared to the teasing, dirty treatment you were receiving from Nuktuk

Bolin barely had you undressed and you were already coming, crying out from the pleasure of it, tightening around Nuktuk’s fingers and shaking apart. he chuckled in your ear, and even though it felt like he was laughing at you, that somehow made it hotter

“oh, Bo,” he grinned at Bolin, trying to shimmy out of his own underwear, grinding hard against your ass as soon as his cock was free. “oh, Y/n is such a doll, isn’t y/p?”

you keened at the feeling of him thrusting against you, of how he tugged you so close - roughly, rougher than Bolin would usually handle you. he slid his fingers out of you and you moaned at the loss

“Bo, please,” you pleaded, grabbing at his wrist and pulling him close. Bolin was still so in awe of all of this - in awe of you, of Nuktuk, of how you looked with him. he was probably wondering if that was how you looked with him, and that made you shiver even more.

“yeah, Bo,” Nuktuk mumbled, whispering against your ear before he nipped at it, gently, running a hand along your thigh. “can’t you see how needy your partner is? have you been neglecting poor Y/n?”

Bolin shook his head, pressing close to you immediately, wrapping an arm around to to pull you close. you were already pliant from your first orgasm, and the warmth of both of them, sandwiched on both sides of you, was almost too much. you grabbed at Bolin, squeezed his ass to will him closer, wrapping your legs around his waist so he knew exactly what you wanted

“i would never neglect y/p,” Bolin replied, pouting a little. you kissed it off of him, pulling him so close as he teased at your entrance. what Nuktuk said must have really affected him, because he pressed in with one even stroke, and you shook at the feeling of being so full, so complete with him. you kissed him deep, like you were starved, as Nuktuk’s fingers slid along your ass.

he worked you open as Bolin fucked you shallow, just enough to hear you moan. he was whispering words of love to you - telling you how good you felt, how much he loved you, and you told him yes, you knew, and you loved him too, you just wanted so much, you wanted everything, and from the both of them

Nuktuk nipped and sucked at your neck as he worked you open, sure to leave marks. you knew that he loved to claim you, but this was even more than usual, and it made you shake, thinking that underneath his tough guy exterior, Nuktuk really loved you too, even after such a short time

eventually, you were ready for him, and he wrapped his arms around you and Bolin, squishing you all so close together

“ready for me, sweetheart?” he asked, low and sultry in your ear. you moaned, feeling him press against you. you needed it - you needed to feel them both, filling you up

“please -” you moaned, and cried out as Nuktuk pressed into you. fuck, he was just as thick as Bolin, and you felt like you might split in two

Bolin moaned too, shaking against you, holding on for dear life. oh no - it must be so tight for him too, as he broke your kisses to press his face into your neck, breathing heavy. Bolin was stock still as Nuktuk pressed in, trying desperately not to come. Nuktuk himself took his time, and although he didn’t moan quite as loud, you knew he was slowly losing it too

“fuck, you’re so tight,” he whined in your ear, and Bolin nodded, making a desperate noise in confirmation. at this point, you didn’t even care if they moved. they were pressing on all the right places and they felt so good -

and then Nuktuk moved, and it was all over.

they fucked into you shallow, Nuktuk trying to contain himself while Bolin had no such composure. he gripped your hips hard, shaking as he thrust, gasping your name against your shoulder until he fell apart

and spirits, did he fall apart - he came inside you, and that only made you want more, reaching around the urge Nuktuk on, with a chorus of “please, please-” because you were so close again -

he reached around to touch you, and that was all it took. you came around them, making Bolin scream and Nuktuk moan so loud as he fucked you harder, in turn making everything far more intense for you, and Bolin as he was now being overstimulated by you and Nuktuk. he quivered in your arms, and you kissed him and he mumbled nonsense about how good it was, about how he never knew he could feel that good.

Nuktuk came soon after, spilling inside you and collapsing against your back, squishing all of you so close together. you were panting, and Bolin was still trying to come back to himself, but wow. maybe you really did enjoy this arrangement

#bolin x reader #asks #anon #mine #kinktober 2020 event #Anonymous

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bedlamsbard · 3 years

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(in response to this post)

This turned out really, really long, so, uh, apologies? The short version is that the number one rule is that your legacy characters don’t undercut your main cast.

I think Rogue One and Solo pulled it off -- Solo is a weirder case because it’s a prequel story about a main character, but Rogue One’s use of Tarkin, Vader, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, etc. worked for me because from the beginning they were there to support the original characters in the film and never wavered from that. Rogue One also benefited from knowing exactly what it was going to do and never wavering from that for an instant.

In terms of the shows, TCW is also not a straightforward case because it was using film characters as its mains and pulling from all over, but in terms of OT characters that appeared in the show, I am pretty happy with how TCW pulled off Chewbacca in Wookiee Hunt (3.22) -- puts him there, uses him well to support the main character of that particular arc (Ahsoka) and the other supporting characters (the other youngling Jedi), but it doesn’t turn into the Chewie episode. Same with Ackbar in the Mon Cala arc in S4: support, not overwhelming, doesn’t waver from the central theme of the arc. Tarkin’s the other big one, and I’m pretty satisfied with the way he was used in TCW -- he’s always there in reference to the main characters of the arcs he appears in, and not in reference to himself, if that makes sense -- he’s there because having him there specifically makes more sense than it doesn’t.

(Honestly, I think the little philosophical lessons really helped with TCW being able to keep its focus: they have to drive straight towards that and not hesitate about it. Every time they dropped those (I’m talking about you, Siege of Mandalore), they ran into a problem where they sort of wandered around a bit.)

Maul...I like Maul a lot. I don’t have that much of a problem with the decision to bring him back into the timeline in TCW (at least you always knew that when George Lucas was doing something he was doing it because he enjoyed it, instead of the current case of “are you doing it for a purpose? for cheap lulz? for the aesthetic? are you setting up a sequel? are you trying to course-correct another piece of canon?”). I do think Maul got overweighted in S7, and this is partially because they didn’t really have the space to build him up from where he ended in S5. The Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir comic helps a little, but S7 is such a rapid switch from where he is in S5 (and you do have to assume that most viewers hadn’t read the comic) that he then pulls in too much narrative weight, and that’s because S7 was trying to do something really, really different from what the previous six seasons of TCW were trying to do.

Rebels sometimes pulls it off, sometimes does not. Since we’re on the topic of Maul already, I am actually fine with Maul in Rebels. I don’t actually think he was used to his full benefit because they pulled back at the last minute, but Maul in Twilight of the Apprentice? Fine with that. Same with Holocrons of Fate and Visions and Voices. (I’ve got a few other problems with Visions and Voices.) Maul is always there in relation to the main characters of the show, not in relation to himself and not in relation to a non-Rebels character. Did it have to be Maul (back in TotA, obvs, not the latter two)? No, but it makes sense and it works really well thematically with all of the characters present in that episode. Holocrons and Visions and Voices, same.

Twin Suns, on the other hand, another Maul episode, was a disaster -- beautifully made episode, everyone is in character, it should never have been made. (I’m currently grumpy about this one specifically because I recently saw an “Ezra shouldn’t have been in Twin Suns” take.) Yes, Maul and Obi-Wan are both interacting with Ezra, but Ezra in this ep is basically himself the McGuffin. Neither the actual, thematic, or emotional conflict in the episode revolves around Ezra even if he’s the instigator of that final showdown. If you can start and end an episode without the show’s main cast (and Rebels differs from TCW in that it did, very specifically, have a main character as well as a main cast), you’ve made a mistake. Not to mention that Twin Suns takes a bunch of narrative and thematic weight that was set in TotA and earlier in S3 (such as the Maul/Kanan and Maul/Ezra parallels), and then completely ignores it in favor of a confrontation that is not going to be emotionally significant for viewers who are there for the show’s main cast.

Darth Vader mostly works in Rebels -- in S2 in isolation, not as part of the greater Rebels plot arc which is a weird hot mess of deescalating villains season by season (a whole ‘nother thing). In Siege of Lothal he’s set up in relation to the main cast and that’s who most of his interaction is with. Same with TotA, though I sometimes think more weight is put on the Vader/Ahsoka duel than should be there in terms of who the main cast are. Sometimes I think it’s fine as is. His other brief appearances are fine, since he’s mostly there just to loom and use up the fabric animation budget.

Tarkin really works in Rebels -- this is honestly Rebels’ biggest legacy character success, my gods, his introduction in Call to Action is terrifying. Did it have to be Tarkin? No, they could have made an OC and had the same role, but Tarkin here, in this context? It ups the tension level a thousand percent, we see him ordering around the Imperials in the show (and the execution scene still gives me chills), and the end of Call to Action, when he’s talking to Kanan on the gunship and orders the destruction of the communications tower? This is easily one of the most terrifying thing Rebels has ever done and to be honest, I’m not sure they ever topped it in terms of sheer presence. Evacuating the star destroyer in Fire Across the Galaxy? Perfect parallel to ANH.

From S2-S4, Rebels really wavers back and forth on their use of legacy characters and this is true of the show as a whole from that point onwards -- when there’s a legacy character, they tend to be overweighted in terms of the episode and in terms of how much narrative space is given to them rather than to the main cast. Not all the time (I have issues with the S4 Mandalore arc, but I think Bo-Katan was played fairly well because most of the narrative weight was still on Sabine), but a lot of the time. The Future of the Force is really bad on this in terms of Ahsoka -- most of the episode is still focused on Kanan and Ezra, but then they’re taken off the board so she can have her dramatic fight scene. Shroud of Darkness -- I go back and forth. (I have other issues with Shroud.) Leia in A Princess on Lothal -- mostly okay, but some weird moments, like using her to rally the Ghost crew into action?

Wedge in The Antilles Extraction -- fine He’s played in relation to Sabine, his presence in the ep is thematically consistent with everything else they’re doing. Saw Gerrera in both S3 and S4 I really go back and forth on. I think I’m mostly okay with him in terms of how he’s played in those four episodes, but I also think there are a lot of questions raised in terms of, like, his relationship to the Alliance. (This goes for his appearance in Jedi Fallen Order as well -- I’m fine with it, it’s not mindblowing, it was nice to see.) Mon Mothma I go back and forth on and part of this is because I’m not entirely sure what they were doing with the Rebel Alliance -- this same thing is true for Saw Gerrera. Especially in the back half of S3 (though it appears earlier as well), Rebels is intersecting more and more with the Rebel Alliance in the lead-up to Rogue One and ANH, but I don’t think they were really entirely sure what they wanted to do with that thematically, which is how we get these wildly varying views of the Alliance even from within it, especially in S4. Which is part of the reason why S4 thematically is A DISASTER. (y’all I should not have come out of S4 hating the Rebel Alliance and I still can’t tell if they did that on purpose or not?)

I’m not mentioning every legacy character in Rebels here (Cham, Hondo, Madine, C-3PO and R2-D2, Bail Organa), but mostly the ones where they pay major roles. Rex I think Rebels mostly managed to pull off having as treating him like supporting cast and not overweighting him as character. -- The clone trio at the beginning of S2 has them in relation to Kanan, Ezra, Kallus and the stormtroopers, etc., not just in relation to themselves.

(I have no idea how to talk about Thrawn in this context because Thrawn isn’t exactly a legacy character from the current canon, but on the other hand he’s a major EU legacy character, so he’s also just a weird god damn case in general that doesn’t really have a parallel in current canon?)

What else we got -- Star Wars Resistance; doesn’t use that many legacy characters but uses the ones it has pretty sparingly. Poe is always there in relation to Kaz, Leia has a very brief appearance, Phasma and Hux are mostly there because it makes sense for them to be there, same with Kylo Ren. Resistance has its issues (both thematically and with pacing) but this is not one of them).

Jedi Fallen Order -- Saw was fine; Vader wasn’t overweighted once he showed up. Battlefront II had its legacy characters almost entirely in context of Iden and Del; they weren’t there just to be there. (And not being a gamer I’m not one hundred percent certain how those two felt in actual playing, vs. my watching them on YT.)

(I am not terribly familiar with the current canon books and comics because I stopped reading them a while ago.)

Non-canon example from Legends: Han Solo’s appearance in the Wraith Squadron novels.

The short version of this is: if you’re going to use legacy characters, you want them to be there in relation to your main cast. It has to work thematically; they can’t undercut your mains. Their stories, no matter how important to the saga as a whole, should not overwhelm the main cast of your actual show/film/game/whatever. And they definitely should not undercut your mains. (I think Mando did this fine with Bo-Katan, tbh.)

#bedlam watches star wars #bedlam watches tcw #bedlam watches rebels #kimothee-chalamet #bedlam replies

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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The Cape and The Cowl

A friend of mine posted a meme questioning who would win a fight between Doctor Doom and Batman. My gut reaction is to say it’s real bad for Bruce but, as i thought about it more and more, i kind of feel like its not so cut-and-dry. There is a lot of nuance that needs to be considered between the two characters rather than just a “smash the action figured together” scenario. Of course, there is the surface stuff like how would they interact generally? What would the catalyst be in order to incite said conflict? Why would Doom even see Bruce as a threat? If you think about it objectively, an all things are even, to Vic, Batman is just a crazy person losing his are on crime in a raggedy ass city. Victor von Doom is a the reagent of an entire country with a GDP that rivals some superpowers in the MCU. Like, the USA has diplomatic relations with a blip in Eastern Europe, because Doom has the military power to wreck he US in open aggression. Latveria will lose in a prolonged conflict, that’s just a question of resources, but that little country would absolutely inflict upon the US in a slow bleed. Imagine the War on Terror but with competent leadership and actual, discipline, military strategy. Why the f*ck would Doom care what the f*ck is going on out in Jersey? More than that. the similarities between the two characters is staggering.

We all know the origin of Batman. We’ve seen that sh*t how many times now? It’s like getting a new Spider-Man joint and having to watch Uncle Ben die all over again. It’s trite at this point but so essential to the character, we need a refresher every time Bats shows up onscreen. That trauma informs everything he is, as it would if you watched your parents gunned down in cold blood as a child, and then laid with their still warm corpses for however long until the police came. What a lot of people don’t know is the origin of Doctor Doom. Being a villain, Doom rarely gets his motivations explored outside of some megalomaniac Dr. No type f*ckery. However, Victor von Doom is a person. He started out life as a happy kid and learned to be Doctor Doom, just like Bruce learned to be Batman. Doom is actually a refugee. True, Doom was born an aristocrat, but Latveria was overthrown when he was still young so he was never able to be raised in that level of opulence. His mom was also murdered before he was ten years old. Just like Bruce, Doom experienced a horrific truth that would color his world perspective for the rest of his life. Doom would eventually find his way to the US as he was brilliant. Like, unheard of intelligent and it would be his exposure to the US lifestyle, after years of conflict and struggle, which would make him realize how easy life could be if someone just did what was necessary. And then Reed happened.

Reed Richards was, is, a fulcrum in Vic’s life. They have a relationship similar to Batman an Superman but the opposite. Whereas Batman values Clark’s perspective because it helps him keep perspective, Vic finds Reed to be absurd. He sees Reed for who e is and doesn’t understand why no one else can. Reed Richards is a reckless, excitable, short-sighted, glory-hog. He is. If you read the character with any semblance of realism, you’d see that. Ho many times has Sue comments on how she and the rest of his family, take a backseat to science? How many times has Reed, himself, sacrificed a relationship or to, in service to the solution of an equation? Doom saw all of that in college. Reed represents the structural issues of the world and it frustrates Vic to no end. In some continuities, the genesis of Vic going full Doom rest on an accident Reed commits because of that shortsightedness. It goes a long way to checking Reeds ego and he does become a better person for it, but it was at the cost of scarring Vic for life, both physically and mentally. Yet another example of the system, ruining Doom’s life.

Bruce, after his trauma, has kept a strong support system. First and foremost, since day one, he had Alfred. Doom had no one. Bruce then built a family, adopting all of the children and surrounding himself with love. Doom’s one true love died and was dragged down to hell. We know this because he punches out Mephisto whenever he can. Also, his mom is down there, too. Bruce eventually met Diana and Kal, becoming fast friends and life long confidants. Outside of Catwoman, I think Diana makes for the perfect romantic partner of Bruce and that is shown in several continuities. Reed just reinforced Doom’s disgust with the machinations of the world, eventually further degrading Doom’s tenuous hold of his ability to trust in others, by psychically maiming him. The negative impact Reed had on Doom’s life is f*cking profound, man. I’m not saying Doom should have taken it as far as he did, but it’s hard to argue against trying to kill a dude who had ruined years of your work, destroyed you reputation, and physically maimed you forever. That doesn’t seem wholly outrageous to me. I think it’s called justifiable homicide? The only reason Doom stopped trying to murder Reed is because Valeria was born. Valeria became the first person Doom felt real affection for, since the death of his wife. I think Morgan le Fay could be another, but that might have just been a time-space booty call. Valeria Richards and her relationship with he Uncle Doom, is what gave Vic the strength to be better. Bruce had that love his entire life, even immediately after his darkest day. Doom went decades without it.

Up until Valeria was born, all Doom had was his time spent as a destitute street rat, struggling to survive, to inform him about life and the world at large. That brazen cruelty for sure emotionally crippled him in a lot of ways, I'm not even going to start to defend his arrogance or superiority complex, but trauma does that. That's why i think Bats would eventually come around. They've both seen the absolute worst of the world and, in a lot of ways, go about righting those wrongs in the same way. If you pay attention, and the writer is worth their salt, you'd see that Latveria is an autocratic socialist paradise. Latverians are among the most literate, healthy, and happy people in the 616. Jobs are plentiful and crime is almost non-existent. Mans even cured cancer, which he made available to the world, if those people choose to make the trip to Latveria for treatment. The world of 616, at large, likes to paint Vic as this evil despot but, if you interview a laymen of Latveria, they’ll sing his praises. Most people forget that, before Doom returned for his birthright, Latveria was a whole ass occupied state. Think the relationship between Israel and Palestine. Latveria was basically falling into doorknobs for Symkaria and pretending that they weren’t in an abusive relationship. Doom showed up and changed all that. It was a bloody f*cking conflict, for sure, and i am certain Vic committed war crimes, but the end result was a free Latveria with a strong international presence. Doom is a hero to those people but a villain to other nations because of how he rose to power and, more importantly, how independent he made hi country from the world system. Doom did what was necessary to free his people, a march too far for Bruce and that’s why Gotham is the way that it is.

People who don’t know the character like to paint Vic as ego-maniacal villain, and that was valid when comics were just "hero smash bad guy", but we've grown beyond that. Every pop culture interpretation of Doom, outside of the comics, has him as this stoic, arrogant, asshole, dictator bu that’s just not an accurate portrayal of how Doom is in a modern capacity. Vic is definitely an autocrat but he’s no dictator. He can be cruel at times to specific individuals but he is generally benevolent to his people. He doesn’t portray himself as a strongman but he does let it be known he’ll nuke anyone or anything if it means furthering his overall goals which, currently, is the safety and security of Latveria. His country isn’t a police state and his people are free to do as they please but their is a line, just like everywhere else in the world. Doom just has a shorter one and enforces that with extreme prejudice. I’m not going to sit here and say everything is great in Latveria, it’s definitely not, but it ain’t so hot in 616 America either. How many Civil Wars have they had? What about that whole tidbit with Hydra Cap? There is nuance and gray nowadays, areas that both Bats and Doom comfortably call home. Batman is, objectively, not a pure hero. He is, at best, a chivalric anti-hero and similarly, Doom is more of an anti-villain than the mustache twirling, boogeyman, mastermind pop media portrays him to be. Batman and Doom are basically the same person, with the same motivations, only Doom is willing to go much, much, further than Bruce; A difference in method you an attribute to their respective upbringings.

If Doom had the same support system as Bruce, he’d create miracles. We’ve seen glimpses of that throughout the years. Dooms last run culminated with him essentially obliterating an entire universe where he had the support necessary to build a proper utopia. Our Doom couldn’t fathom the choices made by this variant Doom because of how broken he is. If Bruce was alone in his formative years like Victor, he’d commit atrocities. We’ve seen glimpses of that over they years, too. There are various narratives that explore just such a tragic turn of events, explored in the Death Metal series of books. Dawnbreaker immediately comes to mind. Bruce and victor are the same side of the same coins. It's literally a crap shoot as to which side of the alignment chart either leans. And as if to inform my point further, we just recently had Joker War. That book went a long way to exposing the absolute necessity of raw force, in order to properly “save”Gotham. Joker was able to completely dismantle that entire city by attacking the machinery put in lace to make it run. He effectively proved that The Batman was part of the problem and would never be the solution because Bruce doesn’t go far enough. He puts out fires but never address the sparks which start those blazes. He doesn’t go far enough. He never will. His code won’t allow him to. But Doom can. Doom did. Honestly, if you really want to keep it real, what is Bruce's endgame? What does a healthy Gotham City look like? It looks a lot like f*cking Latveria.

So to answer this question outright, i don’t think they even fight. The way this hypothetical was set up had three rounds: the first being a standard donnybrook, the second being prep time, and the last being god mode. To be perfectly honest with you, it wouldn't make it past the first round. If i had to say, with pedestrian or normie level understanding of he characters, Doom sweeps all categories. For Round one, Doom’s armor trumps all of Batman’s gadgets. For Round Two, Doom has more resources at his fingertips for prep. For Round The God Emperor Doom exists. He created several realities and killed a few Beyonders. Batman sat in a chair which gave him access to all the wisdom in the multiverse, and realized there were three Jokers. Doom all the way. My informed opinion as someone who adores both these character more than most would have me think there wouldn’t even be a conflict to begin with. I think they’d investigate the inciting catalyst, meet in person with intent to attack if necessary, size each other up until one of them made the proposal to just talk, they'd converse, and the fight would end with both of them walking away from each other with begrudging respect. Doom would admire Bruce's will and Bruce would understand the necessity of Doom's position in the world because, if you can make it make sense, Bruce will usually agree. Batman, for all of his shortcomings, is not naive to the world. He’s seen the same darkness as Doom. Doom, for all of his pompous arrogance, understands the struggle to maintain faith in those around you, even if that noble aspiration is misplaced. Bruce is one bad day away from Doom and Doom is a decades worth of days from being Bruce. They mirror each other and i think they’d see that, taking each other as cautionary tales before becoming collaborators. I don’t see them ever really becoming friends but i don't think they’d ever be true enemies.

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ethicsgirls · 3 years

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‘There is no health without mental health’: an interview with Dr Naomi Newman-Beinart, PHD, Nutritionist (BSc) & Chartered Psychologist (CPsychol) (PhD)

Dr Naomi Newman-Beinart, Member of the CThA & Division of Health Psychology, BPS

Interview by Julia Nelson

Having access to educational information online is a real gift, but with all that’s out there, it’s always good to pick the brain of an expert to avoid getting lost in content. We had the pleasure of chatting to Dr Naomi Newman-Beinart on how to look after ourselves age 40+. Someone had to!

What is the secret to good health?

In my opinion, it's all about mindset. I always say that there is no health without mental health (it's true!). Funnily enough, I am trying to get Instagram going (it's not as easy as it sounds!) and my post yesterday was all about this, I was saying that it's obviously a brilliant idea to try and eat a healthy and varied diet (and I am super excited that new research shows that eating your 5 a day specifically 3 veg and 3 fruit - means you're more likely to live longer and less likely to have chronic illnesses as you get older). BUT I always try and focus on how I feel when I get up each day. Do you wake up feeling positive and energised? Or wake up dreading your day? Or wake up somewhere in the middle.....

No-one is expected to feel amazing 100% of the time. But it’s really important to do some things for YOU and to make sure that you aren’t struggling more than is necessary with daily stresses.

These are a few things I try to help feel better at the start of each day:

Stay in touch with people.

Increase movement and exercise.

Focus on the here and now.

Be kind to yourself and others.

Learn something new.

This advice is even more important given the global events of the past 18 months I would say.

How should women age 40+ take care of their health and wellbeing?

I think that it is really important that women are given more information about their hormonal health from the age of 40. The NHS usually do a health review for over 40's health for men and women, but this doesn’t cover hormonal changes or changes in bone density that women start to experience by this point in life. I think that as long as women are aware of hormonal changes in peri-menopause and what symptoms to look out for, and consider the fact that if they haven't already, it's time to get back into exercise - even walking, and trying to eat healthily most of the time, not always - reducing booze but still having fun, and considering any genetic illnesses that might rear their ugly heads at some point (e.g. osteoporosis - it may be time to start taking Vitamin D and think about calcium and collagen containing foods etc)

Do supplements work and do you recommend taking multivitamins every day?

I am a fan of trying to get everything you can from food, but I believe that as you get older you may struggle with a less effective digestive system and you may have more 'issues' that supplements could help with. For example, I take borage oil for hormonal health and I find it really effective, but I didn't need it when I was 25. I personally take a multivitamin most days, as I like to get my B vitamins and minerals, but I always say that it's important to get a decent quality multivitamin and not buy the cheap ones that are using poor quality ingredients and lots of fillers.

Should your blood type determine what sort of food you should be eating? i.e pescatarian diet

I tend to make my recommendations based on science when research is available, and research into blood type diets does not show that it works as such. BUT saying that, the diets recommended by blood type are generally better than most diets, so most people should feel an improvement when they try a blood type diet. I do have a few patients who swear that the blood type diet has worked for them, and if you find a healthy and workable diet that suits you, than go for it. But don't try and follow a diet that you feel you should be following if you feel bad on it or it's making you mentally struggle.

If you have a chronic health condition like osteoarthritis or Hashimoto thyroiditis for example should you tailor your diet accordingly and take specific supplements?

Yes, absolutely. You don't have to make massive changes if you already eat a good diet (e.g a Mediterranean type diet), so to aid joint health I would suggest thinking about Omega 3 and turmeric (for example) in your diet and also think about foods that cause your joint pain to flare up, and avoid those where possible. A lot of people find that tomatoes and potatoes (to name a few) cause arthritis symptoms to flare up and avoiding them can reduce pain and improve mobility. I love marine collagen powder (I take Correxiko's Marine Collagen powder every day!) to help improve my general health. I love that collagen research is very well carried out and shows great results for osteoarthritis and osteoporosis, which makes sense, as collagen plays a huge role in the health of all of our organs and joints and bones.

Hashimoto's thyroiditis (HT) - So there is some good research showing that people with thyroid issues may be deficient in certain nutrients and Vitamin D, selenium, zinc, iron and B12 are a few of them. In fact, low Vitamin D levels have been associated with worse symptoms for people with HT. I would suggest eating a varied and healthy diet (as I tell everyone!) but even more so in the case of people who are diagnosed when they are young (under 50). The longer you can go with symptoms that don't affect your daily life, the better! And eating a healthy diet has been shown time and time again to reduce the likelihood of various chronic illnesses, which you really want to reduce the risk of! Again, like with any diagnosed condition, find out what works best for you and what foods might worsen your symptoms so you know what to avoid.

Obviously if anyone is on medication, always check with your healthcare professional before taking supplements as they may interfere with your meds or not be suitable to take with your condition.

How can you get tested for food intolerances / allergies?

Yes, you can ask your GP, or you can go privately, to have allergy tests. With regards to food intolerances, I don't feel that there are any very effective tests, as you are testing something quite different than when you are testing for food allergies. I tend to suggest working together with a nutritionist, or dietitian to organise an avoidance diet to help you figure out what foods lead to negative symptoms of food intolerance.

Should women aged 40 and over have regular general health checks and who does these? Can you recommend where to go for a general health check?

Yes! I think that it is really important to keep on top of your health and to talk to your GP if you have any issues. Breast checks are very important, as are bone density scans, full blood count (including fasting glucose) and blood pressure. Pay attention to any urinary tract infections as you'll want to nip these in the bud asap to reduce the risk of kidney infection or even sepsis - these are much more common as you hit the peri-menopausal stage (age 42-48 or so).

You can pay privately to have many more tests done and that is your decision if you are able to, but as long as you keep on top of your diet and exercise and the checks mentioned here, your GP should be able to help you with any health issues that crop up.

How would you recommend prioritising your health and wellbeing?

I am a big ambassador for kindness. I believe that if you are kind to others then it comes back to you in terms of mental health. And that brings me back to suggesting that people focus on their mental health as a priority. It's also important to consider that research has found that people who eat more unhealthy foods are more likely to report moderate to severe psychological distress - so if you are able to try and eat healthily, one meal at a time, I would hope that you would start to feel better emotionally and then be more likely to make good decisions about exercise. That is how we build healthy habits :). I am a chartered psychologist specialising in health psychology and I find this works so well with my nutrition degree.

Nowadays there’s such a strong focus on living a healthy life, and it can be daunting and to be honest, a little bit scary…..

Don’t stress. Just take one day at a time and think about one healthy choice at a time. This can be a useful way to think about diet, exercise and emotional health.

We promote ethical lifestyle brands and green living, can you tell us what ethical lifestyle brands you like and use?

I have used so many over the years and good ethics is VERY important to me when it comes to brands that I use. I love Correxiko, as mentioned earlier. I also LOVE Uralix as I think that they have a wonderful outlook and the owner really wants to help women with urinary tract infections (which are so awful!) and this is 100% why she invented the product. I love Higher Nature products - I am currently using their 'relax kids' powder at bed every night (for me!), but all of their products are fab. And I love Greenspring matcha tea powder as I love and need the theanine that you get naturally from matcha tea. Ooooooh I also love medicinal mushrooms and Hifas da Terra are a wonderful and highly ethical company that do fantastic mushroom research to help people with ailments that are not necessarily being helped enough by medications.

How can women feel confident and positive about their health?

Don't make changes for anyone else, make them for yourself. You don't have to calorie count and be a size 8-10 to feel great. As long as you are doing your best to live a healthy life, you don't have to be perfect everyday! Don't deny yourself when you want a glass of wine or a treat and don't put everyone else first, you have to come first too. Try and focus on the here and now and what you can do right now that will make you happy and as you act positively, it will help you build healthy habits (that's the psychologist in me talking.....).

You can follow Naomi on Instagram here: www.instagram.com/drnaomib/

#womenshealthandwellbeing #over40swomenshealth #Dr Naomi Newman-Beinart PHD #nutrisionist

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montystarotchild · 3 years

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Aries

I want to start off by pointing out that your cards had a lot of Mars energy present. Which I recognize as a build up of energy within you. For many of you this energy is expressed through anger or rage. This full moon clarity is coming to you. You are being called to loosen your grip on life Aries. This may feel like free falling to you, unknown and scary but a very necessary part of the process. There is so much energy surrounding letting go of the past within this reading, ‘The Great Severing’, ‘releasing the past’, ‘Let God in’. Where God is anger cannot lie. And when I speak of God I mean your God, whoever that is for you. You are connecting with Source through your heart space and introducing more healing into your life. All of this connection and beautiful energy will soothe your anger and pain like a cooling balm. The things that pain you will almost have a numbing effect compared to the greatness of life. It’s time to breathe out Aries. The sacred union coming in is Spirit entering your heart and uplifting your spirit to a peaceful level. This is a turning point for you Aries, a karmic point of finally allowing Spirit to take over and allow you to gain independence in a completely different way. This is your life, a gift given. Use that Mars energy to enliven your passion for the Divine. Embrace this change and lean on Spirit when you feel low on the desire keep moving forward. There may also be some Gemini energy that can help you stay mutable in these healing times.

Taurus

Wow Taurus, this full moon is inviting you to surrender to the Divine and release the negativity. All of the thoughts that you have about yourself, if they aren’t building you up, it’s time to remove them. Nothing will come of putting yourself down before you’ve truly been able to begin something. For someone specific, if you’ve been wanting to express yourself through singing but have doubts this is your sign to go for it! Either way your voice is of importance at this time Taurus. You have a beautiful voice and it deserves to be heard. It’s time to shift your perspective and realize that you have and always will be enough. Just as you are. You have the also have the eleventh house, ‘I connect’. What do the connections in your life look like? This full moon may be revealing the ones that are healthy and thriving vs the ones that are draining and negative. Discernment on who is for you will be important while you are in this surrendering phase. Some of you may also be feeling as if you are at a fork in the road in regards to your career life and overall purpose. I’m feeling this energy between stagnancy in everyday routine and having so many options as the “next steps”, but choosing not to move instead. But I am seeing a breakthrough in this energy. You can connect to your sacred feminine in order to release and accept the Universe’s help in guidance. Be soft with yourself Taurus. Try not to push yourself beyond your own limitations. Also try not to think your way to a solution. This is all about allowing. Be of service to yourself so that you may spread that beautiful energy to your close mutuals. Pisces and Gemini energy may be important to you as well.

Gemini

In true Gemini nature I am seeing that you may have been struggling with certain oppositions in your life. I feel like Geminis are making decisions at all times in life. You have the gift of seeing the potential in all things which can also sometimes be difficult for you. This full moon is bringing clarity and harmony in opposition and you are able to see the bigger picture. No longer feeling pulled in two different directions you are able to direct your creative energy more directly and confidently. You are holding yourself accountable for going after all of the things you want creatively. This full moon is helping you understand more and more that your life is the canvas and your dreams are the tools needed to create a masterpiece. You are creating more from your heart space, nurturing yourself from the inside out. There may be changes that come up for you. So much so that it may leave you asking why and trying to rationalize your emotions. Listen to your intuition when it tells you that you don’t have to have a label for every emotion or over analyze them for “more clarity”. Your clarity is in the here and now. Move into your heart and feel your feelings. It’s time for you to receive the Divine’s message of safety. You are safe Gemini. This full moon you may be focusing more on the practice of meditation to connect with your heart space. This will strengthen your patience for and understanding of self. Also, focusing on the here and now can assist you in noticing the beauty that is all around you right now. Find comfort in this and know that what you focus on grows. Choose nurturing and peace this full moon.

Cancer

Wow Cancerians, this is going to be a very healing moon for you. You start the reading with releasing the past and ‘I’m sorry’. There are past pains that are being uprooted, observed and then healed. There is a breakthrough where someone will be righting past wrongs. You are slowing down and taking inventory of yourself and the innovations within you. Some changes, either in heart or mind, may appear sporadically and catch you by surprise. You may have had difficulties in the past allowing your light to continue to shine through tough circumstances, almost like turning yourself into a different person. This is an opportunity for healing if you allow the Divine to work through you. With the fifth house here, you are co-creating with Spirit in order to shine your authentic light through. The fifth house is also where you get to express your artistic vision and unique creativity. Where you can have fun through creative expression. Looking to see the 5H ruler and the planets gathered there can show you the best way to express yourself creatively (Gemini = writing, Aries = something physical like drumming etc.). This full moon is allowing you to release the chaos and conflict of everyday life and to find some tolerance and balance emotionally. I think it’s time to take on the mysterious nature of Scorpio and give yourself some Hermit time. Secluding yourself can limit your chaos and conflict intake and this full moon could be the perfect timing. We all go through cycles but this time you have to decide that you want to grow through these cycles. The Sun is shining on this reading Cancer, signifying self-confidence, growth and an abundance of creativity. I truly hope you enjoy this time!

Leo

Ok Leos, I see that you are doing a lot of inner child work this full moon. You may be facing abandonment wounds, the struggle of being silenced as a child and other heavy memories. But there is the strong message of you are not alone and to dive deep into these feelings. There is a new beginning opening up for you but as always you must first release. All of the things that you believe make you who you are may need some questioning. This full moon you are facing a rebirth. Your intuition is calling you to nurture yourself and make space for the joy that you are calling in. You know that you are in the process of planting new seeds but you have to check the soil that you are working with. You also know that no matter the condition, you are not irreparable. You are ending the never-ending stories that you tend to keep on repeat. You are tapping into your inner wisdom so much so that you know the narrative can always change, and look how far that has gotten you thus far! This is the time where the truth will not be spared. Not to yourself or others. This may look like more boundaries, limitations in accessing your energy and taking only the responsibilities that belong to you. You are eager for this rebirth and anything that stands in the way of that, even your own mind, can be cleared out in a healthy manner. Remember that an important part of this process is the gratitude for just how far you have come and gratitude for your inner knowing that greater is coming. Sing your song of gratitude to the sky Leos, the heavens are listening with proud ears. Again, you are not alone in this.

Virgo

This full moon is going to be very empowering for you Virgo. You are tapping into your inner wisdom much easier with the moon being in your sign. You even had the full moon card come out in your reading, talk about aligning lol. This full moon is calling you to honor yourself Virgo. All of the things that you’ve always said you wanted to do, what happened? Of course in the midst of COVID, we are in a different world but your dreams are still very real. Your repressed desires are being revealed in the light of this full moon, calling to you. But first you must take a look at what you have already been investing your time into. Like I said in one of the other readings, what you feed grows. You can be a very committed individual. But it may sometimes feel as if you find it difficult to commit to certain things. The only thing stopping you from taking off is you and I say this with the most love possible. I myself have held back from many opportunities, making any and every excuse. But it’s time for you to go the distance Virgo. There is a new beginning being introduced between February 27th and March 13th with the new moon in Pisces, your sister sign. During this time your energy is peaking and Spirit is asking you to step up and into what you really want to do. Listen to your heart. And if you begin to hear your mind instead, telling you that you must do it this way and if not it’s useless or pointless or if you feel yourself restricting remember that it’s ok to be daring sometimes. People have the audacity to do all kinds of things so why can’t you have the audacity to go after your own dreams? You are not alone in this. Scorpio energy may be important during this time or you could be channeling this energy for yourself in order to take charge emotionally.

Libra

Wow Libra, this full moon is allowing you to look at your deepest, darkest truths and to be able to honor them. If you have been feeling a sense of heaviness around you look to see where you may be carrying too much. Most times, when we are able to fully look at ourselves and evaluate our emotions and thought patterns, we can see that a lot of what we’re carrying isn’t even originally ours. Spending most of our time with family or significant others we can sometimes just adapt to what they believe is true. Especially if that means we can keep the peace. But I’m seeing that this may actually be causing the conflict that you were trying to avoid in the first place. And the only reason that this is important is because we are all supposed to be living in our authentic truth. When we don’t, no matter how hard we try, things still seem to feel inharmonious. But all of this has a purpose Libra. This severing that is happening within your life is a removal of the things that just don’t fit anymore. And you are recognizing that during this full moon. You know that it’s pointless to allow your fear to hold you back just because you know you have to face yourself on the way out. I can see that this is a big decision for you, a marking of events that sends you on a brand new trajectory. You have ‘Round and Round’ and the 6th house which is the house of routine and health. You may find yourself shifting your routine around to incorporate more of what you love to do throughout your days. You are in between energies right now so it’s most important that you focus on the journey and not so much the outcome of it all. Patience as you transform will be important as well. Some of you may be dealing with the inheritance of property or money during this full moon. Some of you may also be getting more into esotericism or occultism. You may also find more understanding of your shadow self here.

Scorpio

What a surrendering time for you Scorpios! Surrendering to joy, surrendering to the totality of life and surrendering to the acceptance that you are accountable for all of your gifts and talents. As you are in this space with the Divine you are gaining a new level of autonomy. Your perspective is so unique and pure. You can picture yourself within the world but also the bigger picture of it all. While others still look at this time within as imprisoning, you are looking at all of the sweetness of life, finding pleasure wherever you are personally interested in being. Your sensuality is oozing out of this reading Scorpio. You are feeling very much so in your natural element during this time even with the full moon being in Virgo, a very critical but nurturing moon. This energy is moving you into action. You are bringing your full energetic potential to all that you work hard towards. And when I say hard I mean going after the things you really want, not just working yourself into the ground. There’s a difference, there’s a balance. Your inner wisdom will be loud and clear at this time especially for you. Your discernment will aide you in knowing what isn’t for you. You are such a giving individual and not everyone is meant to bask in that energy for too long. Some people can get very comfortable with your gifts. But I am seeing that you are embracing this change naturally. As you are expressing your courage by sharing your gifts with mutuals, I can see your determination growing in order to maintain and grow these authentic connections. You will naturally know who to share with and how much to share. Do not second guess the knowledge that comes from within. It’s your voice of truth and will never steer you wrong.

Sagittarius

This full moon in Virgo is brining you a new level of self-awareness. While things may seem chaotic all around you, you will be able to feel grounded and at peace with who and where you are. You are a multifaceted being with a unique vision. There is a focus on all things tenth house related, so social status, structures, public image and achievements. I’m seeing two sides to this reading, on one end you are truly finding your step in times of relaxation but you are also going after you want in a healthy manner. This full moon is allowing you to tap into your emotions and find where you feel most safe within yourself. Again this is important because the rest of the reading points to dissonance within the relationships around you. That’s ok because it’s not everyone I’m seeing. There are relationships that you naturally relate to and with. Through it all it is important for you to focus on your breath. Breathing is necessary in order to balance your emotional being. If you feel yourself beginning to react to your surroundings, breathe. This will be a great time to lean into your creative urges. Feed yourself what you have been believing others can offer you. Allow yourself to shine in the privacy of your own company. An audience of 1, the only one who matters in that moment. I see with all of this creativity comes structure as well. You are growing your work ethic and becoming more meticulous with your decisions. You love what you do and you want to make sure you give things the attention that you feel it deserves. This will help ground your energy.

Capricorn

This full moon is brining you an inner awareness Capricorn. You are finding clarity in the relationships around you and understanding that there is nothing you can control outside of yourself. This full moon is exposing the karmic relationships within your life that were here solely to deliver a message. You are releasing the past and choosing to heal the parts of you that you may have neglected when in these karmic relationships. It’s important to point out that friendships, not matter how long, can also be karmic as well. There is communication coming in for you as well. You are gaining new information or a new level of knowledge in regards to manifesting. You are learning that everything present within your life now is based off of your prayers and manifestations come true. Now that could be either a good or neutral thing for you. You are learning also to tap into your artistry more, mastering the thing you love. You focusing on this thing you love even through your day to day brings you a very centering energy. You are able to ground yourself in this energy and find peace. As all of these things occur inwardly and intimately there is still chaos or conflict around you. From now until around March 21, you will be able to make beneficial decisions for your own sense of peace. Even outside of this timeframe, you will feel more called to take action against all that you feel is an obstacle to your joy and happiness. Because at this point you know that that is all there is to life. I’m seeing that you are over asking “why?” and moving more into faith. Just like with your dreams and manifestations, you realize that there is a method to living. There must be something that you are able to fully devote your energy to at this time. Nothing is nothing. And everything happens for a reason. I heard “your faith is feeding your fate”. There is a level of trust that I feel here for Spirit which I’m guessing is how you are going to feel at the end of all of this clearing out. This is a great release for you Capricorns, it’s brining in some much deserved energy and peace.

Aquarius

Like the true nature of an Air sign, your mind is getting a big refresh this full moon. You are finding a transformation in the way that you speak and think Aquarius. You may have been daydreaming recently about what it would feel like if you could show up as your authentic self in any situation. You could have felt inspired by someone else living and speaking in their truth that it triggered your inspiration for self. This full moon is allowing you to dive deeper into your gifts and to explore the lessons of life all around you. This may even come up as conflict or heated situations with close loved ones. There may be habits of codependency that are revealed to you just as you try to focus more on being your authentic self. You may find that people are dependent upon a person who doesn’t really exist, it is the idea of you. With this full moon though you are stepping into your true innovative energy, almost transforming before your own eyes. This is the person “you have always dreamed of becoming” but are realizing that it’s just you. You’ve been waiting on you this whole time. We all come here with a purpose and destiny, every decision you have made may not look like it but that’s how fate works. In the end it all makes sense. During this full moon look back at all that you have accomplished. If it helps try writing down some major or minor accomplishments that meant the most to you. Reflect on how it felt in that moment vs after when you received that accomplishment. I see that you will be in a cycle of breakthroughs and releasing between now and around the end of May with the next lunar eclipse. You will be receiving help from your spiritual team but it may not be the time where they look the most obvious. As you continue to align with your highest truth do not be afraid to be led by your intuition. This is especially for times when you have to make a decision but see no signs of help from Spirit. It’s within.

Pisces

This full moon is in Virgo and that is your sister sign within the astrological signs. You are being called to release this full moon and you will physically feel this pull. Your body will be sending you messages of the things that you are either still attached to or is still attached to you. This will be a very detoxifying time for you Pisces. There was a lot of earth energy within your reading, meaning that you will be very grounded in all of this energy. Ironically you started off with ‘the Sun’ and ‘You’ll survive this’. That’s a beautiful start to have! It’s ensuring that no matter what it looks like on the outside of your vessel, you are doing your best and there isn’t anything that you can’t survive. As you express yourself authentically there will be new beginnings and solutions to old issues that arise. I do see that as you progress spiritually you are still learning how to be human. You are finding your balance between the spiritual and the physical, growing your connection with Spirit but still aligning with what you achieve in the 3D. You are learning how to be in the world but not of it. There is a regeneration around all that you have thought that you wanted in the past. There is no judgement to this, we all evolve and our decisions change as we change. There may be resistance or struggle around this. You are learning that there is very little effort that is needed towards this regeneration because it is a natural occurrence. There is so much energy of releasing Pisces and that is such beautiful energy for you! This clearing out will not leave you empty or hollow. Gratitude will take it’s place. You are grateful for all of the nurturing that you now have available to yourself. You are grateful that you finally decided to clear out all that was keeping you stagnant and obsessed with conflict. You are using all of this beautiful energy for acts of service for others. There is also an air of mystery surrounding you during this time. You are sharing only what you want with others and gaining autonomy over your own privacy. Such beautiful energy to grow in Pisces, I believe in you loves. Oh and happy birthday to all the beautiful Pisces! 🎉

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#full moon messages #full moon in virgo #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot services #free readings #tarot reading #sun moon rising #positive message #zodiac reading #zodiac messages #become a patron #patreon #black tarot readers

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fromtheashesofvalyria · 4 years

Text

They were both too young to know how to love.

Of course leave it to Harry Potter to be what drags me back into writing fan fiction. Apologies to people who follow me already since this is pretty different from posts I’ve done in the past, so feel free to ignore.

I just wanted to try and get some thoughts out about a fanfiction I’m currently writing, specifically the relationship between Harry and Daphne. Or the lack of one right now anyway. ;)

The basic background is that this is a soulmate AU with soulmate marks and empathy/semi-telepathy (I’m not sure what to call it honestly). The three main ships are Dramione, Ransy, and Pottgrass, and it’s a slowburn enemies to lovers starting from Goblet of Fire on. Emphasis on slowburn and enemies considering two of the involved are Draco and Pansy.

Before I started writing again, the only ones of those three I shippped/read fanfiction of were Draco/Hermione and Pansy/Ron. I originally picked Daphne because I’d read fics that had her as a character and liked her in them; after that I read two fanfics that made me really ship them, because the amount of ships I have due to fanart/fanfic is huge. (Previously I was, and actually still am, a Nottgrass shipper because I am a multi-shipper a lot of the time.)

I’m going to put the rest of my rambling under the cut.

So there are a couple different things going on here. The most superficial was that, when I had started writing, I’d been re-watching the Lizzie Bennet Diaries so I was a bit influenced by Pride and Prejudice when writing Daphne at first. Specifically the inspiration was Matthew Macfaden’s Darcy from the 2005 movie and Daniel Vincent Gordh’s William Darcy from LBD. (And as an aside Astoria was slightly based on Georgianna from the 2005 movie and Gigi Darcy from LBD.)

The inspiration became less strong the more I wrote, but her being standoffish/cold/rude to non-Slytherins (except Astoria) and the scene where Daphne tries to make a deal with Harry was inspired by Darcy's first, horrible proposal to Elizabeth. But that’s the shallower reason, let’s get into the meat of it, which is background vs appearance.

Harry Potter was orphaned at the age of one years old, was raised in an abusive family who didn’t even give him a room for ten years, had no friends until he got to Hogwarts, and was lied to by the Dursleys’ about what his parents were actually like. There were no pictures of his parents, he wasn’t told they were a witch and wizard, and he didn’t even know they were murdered. When he is told about his parents, he is given the romanticized view of James and Lily and their relationship. He thinks they were the perfect picture of soulmates, as he hasn’t been told that James was once a jerk that Lily really disliked. His first real experience of familial love was with the Weasleys and thinks of them as the best family in the world. Daphne knows nothing of this aside from the fact that he was raised by muggles; I don’t think she thought much about Harry at all outside of times parts of his adventures were found out by the school. Like the flying car incident. As she said in the fanfic, Harry just sort of existed to Daphne.

Harry is only fourteen years old at the start of the fic, and has only had a crush on Cho at this point, but he does know that he wants to have the real love and respect his parents had. He wants to have a family of his own that would actually be loving. He doesn’t want his potential future children to grow up without love. And, most importantly, he doesn’t think Daphne is capable of that.

What Harry knows about Daphne’s background is that she’s part of an old, wealthy pureblood family a la the Malfoys or the Parkinsons. (He wouldn’t know the term Sacred Twenty-Eight.) That’s pretty much it and would be about the amount of knowledge all the students from the other houses would know (except for Astoria, the Ravenclaw little sister, who is just as uncomfortable as Daphne when asked to talk about their parents). Harry is also generally dismissive of Slytherin house as a whole thanks to Draco and his gang; he thought they looked like a “pale and unpleasant lot'' at the Welcome Feast in first year.

Here’s how Daphne comes across to the kids outside of Slytherin: standoffish; doesn’t seem to talk much outside of class participation, and is often sarcastic when she does; doesn’t seem to have friends outside of Slytherin and the only non-Slytherin she is consistently genuinely affection towards is her little sister, and not everyone sees that; while not a member of Pansy’s gang is still known to be a good friend of Pansy’s, and is also close to Blaise who is seen as equally snobby.

(Speaking of Blaise, Daphne still wants to know why she’s the only one to get an insulting nickname like Ice Queen when Blaise and Theo are often just as anti-social towards the other houses as she is. In Theo’s case, more so. XD)

Of course, it’s easy to sympathize with Daphne when you know what her background is really like. Her parents, despite being soulmates, have an absolutely toxic relationship that their daughters had to witness: “Daphne Greengrass hadn’t been a fan of the soulmate concept for years now. She could even pinpoint the exact moment her disillusionment started: the night before her sixth birthday when her father finally told her mother that, soulmates or not, he had never loved her and had only married her out of both obligation to the bond and to the alliance with her family. This had then turned into a screaming match in her father’s study accompanied by the sound of glass being thrown at a wall.” This is just one incident.

Daphne was so used to her parents arguing (and to be really clear, I’m not talking about normal arguments couples have; I’m talking about full-blown trying to verbally/emotionally hurt the other as possible or just arguing to try and win against the other person) that she was already making it her job to comfort Astoria, who “was still a baby, and upset by it”. Daphne has grown up with a very dim view of romance and romantic love.

Now, Daphne does know that people can be genuinely in love. For all their many, many faults, Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy are devoted to each other. Pansy’s parents aren’t on the same level, but are loving/affectionate enough with each other. However, she doesn’t think love and happiness are guaranteed so it’s better to have something more solid like respect or trust. However, that is hard to get across to Harry because she’s grown up to think being emotional is bad/a weakness and it’s hard for her to open up to people she doesn’t know well. (Pansy was her first friend at five years old and is still her best friend up until this point; it’s also the reason her other friends are the Slytherins she’s known for years at this point. People she’s used to.)

She could have approached Harry differently, flirted, or suggested dating, or tried to be romantic but she would have thought of that as dishonest/manipulative. Because Daphne knows love isn’t guaranteed for soulmates. Because Daphne knows she’s not the most likeable person. Because Daphne isn’t sure she could love Harry and doesn’t want to lie about it. Yes, Slytherins are all about cunning and clever ways to get what they want, but this is one of the areas Daphne would not even consider something like that. For all her issues, Daphne does have some standards.

Self-control and (just control in general) is something Daphne clings to because her parents were often unpredictable and she had to create a sense of being in control of her life. Her father is not a warm or empathetic person and he looks down on people being too emotional. (Yes, this is supposed to be hypocritical considering he’d get into screaming matches with his wife.) He would be out of the house a lot for both work and to get away from his wife. Her mother was emotionally and mentally in a bad place for a long time and withdrew from her children a bit. She improved by the time Daphne was at school, but her favorite is clearly Astoria for reasons that will be expanded on later. Daphne tells herself she gets it because Astoria is her favorite family member too. (Also I just want to make this clear, Daphne and Astoria are close siblings who genuinely love and care about each other. Daphne is also Astoria’s favorite family member. Their relationship, as I like to see/write it could be another post though so moving on.)

This need for self-control also was because of the stutter she had growing up. She was already self-conscious about it and she was very aware that her parents (her father in particular) saw it as a problem, which stressed her out more and made her stutter worse. The more emotional she’d get, the more likely she’d stutter. Whereas the more comfortable she was, the less often it happened. Pansy already mentioned in one of her POV’s that she barely heard Daphne stutter around her after a while; not a huge spoiler or surprise, but it was the same with Astoria. One of Daphne’s pre-Hogwarts tutors was essentially a wizard speech therapist, so she had it under control by first year but it was still recent enough at the time that she was pretty afraid of slipping up at school. Also consider the fact that some students (not just Slytherins either, but from all houses) made fun of Quirrell's stutter, and he was a teacher. (Yes he was evil, and only pretending to have one, but they didn’t know that then.) How much worse would the teasing be for a first year student? So as her father told her, sometimes it’s better not to talk at all.

Harry doesn’t know any of this.

Before things really started in the fanfic, Harry’s one interaction with Daphne that really stood out to him was that time she was sarcastic to him in first year after his first Quidditch game: “You know my family made the snitches used at Hogwarts. Please try not to choke on another of them next time.” When fourth year started, she ignored him completely in the Great Hall, and didn’t help her friend in a way he didn’t recognize/understand.

The next day, Daphne sends him a note ordering him to meet her during lunch, after not acknowledging him in public. (As Harry says, she didn’t even write please. It also didn’t ask him for a date and time to talk, just told him to meet her in a specific location.) When he asked if she was proposing to date him, she “made a truly exasperated sounding noise” which definitely hurt his pride a little. She also tried to approach a relationship (not necessarily even a romantic relationship, just in general) with him, someone she has barely spoken to, like a business deal, which he thinks is a cold way to look at it and he loses his temper. However, it should be noted that she asked him why when he rejected her out of hand and well, don’t ask a question you wouldn’t want an answer to.

Later on he sees her picking on a second year for seemingly no reason. In reality, this is a girl who did something to her sister and Daphne doesn’t let things like that slide when it comes to people she cares about.

Now afterwards things get murkier because Daphne is wanting to freeze him out/ignore him, but he is the one to poke at her. The soulmate bond is like an outside force that pushes down on two people to try and force them together, which can be downright unbearable if you really don’t like the other person. Harry finds the pressure it puts on them very hard and is stunned when she acts like she’s not affected at all. (He’d feel better if he knew she was feeling it just as much as him. Sort of like how Hermione and Ron both take comfort in the fact that Draco and Pansy are having as bad a time with the bond as they are.) He’s already under stress from the situation with his scar hurting and Sirius leaving his hideout to come back to England because of it, now add on to that the stress of an outside magical force trying to bond him to a girl he doesn't like and who doesn’t like him. No, he’s not handling it in a great way, but he’s young.

And Daphne could always try and talk to him about things good (sending him a song through the bond to help him sleep when worry for Sirius was keeping him up) and bad (the incident with the second year), but she doesn’t try. Partly it’s out of pride, but largely it’s because she’s developed unhealthy coping skills that she doesn’t realize are unhealthy.

#self indulgent #fanfiction #pottgrass #dramione #ransy #lions among the snakes #i think getting my thoughts down like this helped my muse #might ramble about my fanfiction again sometime #can you tell I’m an over thinker

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shutupandshipit · 4 years

Text

Little Life - Ch.7

Summary: A baby could ruin his career before it had even started. If anyone found out, he would be kicked out of the Hero Course at the very least and UA at the very worst. Even then, how was he supposed to care for a baby once it arrived? He was a fucking seventeen-year-old boy, not a twenty-nine-year-old omega with their shit at least somewhat together.

…..

Or where Katsuki get pregnant, but is determined to make it to graduation. No matter what it takes.

Pairing: Bakudeku

Rating: T (just for language mostly)

Chapter: 7/16

Previous <- Chapter 6

Chapter 8 -> Next

Master Post

Chapter 7: 5 Months

Katsuki groaned salaciously, melting into his nest with the roll and push of Deku's hot, hot, hot hands against his skin. "Oh yeah, right there, you perfect, prefect alpha. Oh my god~"

Above him, Izuku laughed warmly, bending to nuzzle into the back of Katsuki's neck. "You really weren't kidding. You're so tense. I don't know how you were even moving. You must have been in a lot of pain."

"Do you think I'd have be bitching if I were kidding?" Katsuki asked, but his voice lacked the usual bite, drunk on bliss. He purred loudly, and his back bowed up, chasing the feel of Izuku's hands.

"You're so responsive today. It's kind of nice." Izuku moved down his body, kneading away every knot and tense muscle. His hands and lips spent an exorbitant amount of time on his ass, but Katsuki couldn't find it in him to protest.

Instead of starting something like Katsuki assumed he would, he continued down his thighs and calves, spending time gently rubbing his feet and flexing every toe before coaxing him into his back and working his way back up. He paused at his hands until Katsuki nearly drifted off, pressing his thumbs into calloused flesh and nuzzling at the cups of his palms. His attention was nearly reverential.

It was only when he was straddling Katsuki's hips again, working his arms and chest, that he spoke. His voice dragged Katsuki out of a literal endorphin and pheromone induced haze, gentle and curious. "I didn't really notice before, but your nipples have changed color." He idly ran the soft pads of his thumbs over Katsuki's nipples. They immediately hardened, and Katsuki shivered involuntarily. "Yeah, they're like a brownish-red instead of their usual soft greyish-pink." He repeated the motion, and Katsuki's body responded in kind.

He wanted to snap Izuku's fingers off for the almost clinical way he was inspecting him, but Katsuki's omega had other ideas.

Izuku's expression was alight with fascination. "Does that feel good, Kacchan? Your nipples have never been very sensitive, but they're really sensitive now. I wonder why."

'I'm pregnant, you absolute lovable dolt,' Katsuki thought, 'Figure it out already!'

Instead of saying that, he bucked his hips to flip Izuku onto his back, following to slot between his spread knees. He pressed their hips flush. "Less talking, more kissing," he demanded, and Izuku surged up to meet his lips enthusiastically. Katsuki had never once imagined how good kissing felt before, but since he'd had Izuku's lips for his own, he could never quite get enough.

Afterwards, when they were both properly exhausted and Izuku was lovingly running his fingers through his hair, he whispered, "I really love that you're my mate, Kacchan, and I'm happy that we can be together in the open now. I'm the luckiest alpha in the world."

The enormity of his secret loomed over him again as it so often did these days, souring his mood. He didn't let the mood take hold, and turned his nose into Izuku's neck in response. Words were still hard. He'd always had to show his emotions through action.

As the emotion receded back into its sealed box, he couldn't help but think, 'You might not feel that way after you find out what I've been hiding.' He shoved that thought into his chest of secrets as well, locking everything away to hold close.

.....

Fear reared its head when Aizawa called him into his office after class one day. He had to consciously repress the anxiety in his scent as he gingerly sat on the couch that took up too much space in the tiny room that was connected to the rest of his rooms. He felt enclosed, captured, like the walls were bearing down over him and would at any moment clamp down on top of him.

The anxiety only built when Aizawa didn't say anything, only continued to sip at whatever was in his mug. Katsuki hoped it was vodka to make him less perceptive, but he knew he wasn't that lucky. He just hoped he was lucky enough to make it through this meeting with secrets and faculties fully intact.

"How are you doing in classes and with training?"

Katsuki startled, narrowing his eyes at the unexpected question.

Aizawa sighed tiredly and leaned back in his seat, crossing an ankle over his knee. "Calm down, Bakugou, you're not in trouble. This conversation would have started very differently if you were."

As Katsuki unfortunately knew first hand. "I am calm, sir."

Leveling an unimpressed look at him, Aizawa said, "I can smell your anxiety from here as much as you're trying to hide it, trouble kid. Like I said, you're not in trouble."

That really didn't make him feel any better, but he tried to slow the tripping rhythm of his heart. "You know how I'm doing. You're my teacher."

"Analytically, yes. On paper, I can see how you're doing; how much progress your making, what shortcomings you're working through, your grades. Paper can't tell me how you're emotionally holding up. You and your classmates haven't had an easy two years here, and it's my job to make sure you graduate at your full potential, or at least as close to it as I can get you." Aizawa took another sip before setting the mug down and crossing his arms. "I've been seeing some strange behavior from you since the start of the year. A de-evolution of your devotional training schedule and dietary habits. The exhaustion I've observed from you during training and class would be normal for everyone else with how hard you push, but not for you specifically. And as barely sociable as you were before, you've almost completely isolated yourself from everyone except for Midoriya and Kirishima it seems. While I don't think this is the case, I am obligated as your teacher and mentor to make sure you are still in good mental health.

"So, I'm going to ask you a question that will make you extremely uncomfortable. Are you harboring any suicidal ideas and/or have you ever or considered intentionally harming yourself?"

Katsuki's brain completely shut down for the duration of an entire minute as he tried to internalize the literal insanity of that question.

Finally, he sputtered, "N-n-no! What the fuck?"

"Everything I just talked about can be symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts. You wouldn't be the first student I've intercepted before doing something stupid. You wouldn't be the first student to feel like that if you do. You can see how I'd be concerned about you, especially in an individual like yourself whose habits have not changed in two years."

"I'm not suicidal!" Katsuki shouted indignantly.

"Then do you still want to be a hero?"

"What the fuck kind of questions are these? Of course I still want to be a hero! I'm not going to let that damn nerd be Number one! Who do you think I am?"

Aizawa sighed grudgingly. "Someone with a lot of drive, but also a teenager under a lot of stress. You're scent has changed, did you notice?"

"So?"

Aizawa stared back silently.

"I am not suicidal!" Katsuki reiterated. How selfish would he be to be considering suicide with a helpless life growing inside him that hadn't gotten a say in the matter?

"Then what? Scents don't just change. Is it the stress? Depression? Anxiety? Something else I'm not aware of?"

He was just not going to let up, and Katsuki swallowed as heat flooded his cheeks. "I- Izu- D-Deku and I are... mated. At the beginning of the year." He wanted to combust and crawl his way down to hell.

"Ah." Aizawa leaned his head back on the edge of his chair, closing his eyes.

"Ah?!"

"Yes, well, the sexual education system is extraordinarily lacking in terms of how a mating bond changes you, and that explains it. It also gives me more insight into your personal relationships that I am, frankly, uncomfortable with." He raised his head again, grimacing as he did. "Well, now I'm obligated to have a different discussion that I was not prepared for. I'm going to take the benefit of the doubt and assume you're being careful. Despite the low probability, you know what will happen to your career if you get pregnant while at school?"

Katsuki's face was hot for several different reasons now, and he worked desperately to reel in his scent. "I'm not stupid," he grit out even though he definitely absolutely was. He was possibly the stupidest person on the face of the planet.

But his teacher didn't have to know that.

"Good. I advise you stop by the nurse's office to get on a course of birth control. Use protection if you decide to get physical. You can go now."

Katsuki was out of his seat like someone had set him on fire, and all but sprinted from the room and out to the grass behind the dorms. He inhaled the cooling air until he'd calmed down enough to stop pulling at his hair.

Sitting on the steps, he stared up at the tree tops where the sun was quickly burning the sky away. There was a flutter, a turn in his stomach, and he stared down at his own body in wonder.

He knew that at some point he'd be able to feel the baby moving, but he hadn't expected it. Even less he'd been expecting the rush of love and excitement that flushed away the vestiges of his discussion with Aizawa.

He placed a tentative hand over his stomach, and there was the flutter again, as if they were responding to his touch. The tears came in a torrent, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "God-fucking-dammit," he whispered miserably.

"Bakugou?"

"Oh, fucking kill me now," he growled before peaking over at Izuku's best friend. Why couldn't he just have one moment where someone didn't catch him crying? "What do your want, Round Face?"

She smiled gently before tilting her head back towards the dorms. "Let's talk. I have something I want to talk to you about."

"Jesus," he bit out, but more out of obligation to his mate than actual want to talk to the only other omega in their class, he dried his face and followed her inside.

.....

Katsuki was not expecting an honest to god 'shovel talk' when he followed the small brunette into her room. He really wasn't expecting it when she set a cup of peppermint tea in front of him and curled her legs beneath her on her bed, a steaming cup in her own hands. It was uncomfortably familiar to how Aizawa had started everything, and the fluttering in his stomach became nausea rather than his baby moving.

"What do you want, Round Face? I'm not really in the mood for a chat," he muttered gloomily, staring down at the cup. He was intensely aware that she'd seen him crying, and he hated the thought. Only Izuku, Kirishima and All Might had ever seen him cry save for the singular time his parents had when he'd presented. He was severely off balance from the thought.

Ochako pursed her lips for a long moment before saying, "I'm going to put this very simply and bluntly, Bakugou. If you ever hurt Deku, I will kill you and make it look like an accident. I'll rip out your throat and bury you so deep that by the time you're found again, the term will have gone from 'grave robbing' to 'archaeology', and mark my words, you will not have a grave. You'll drift from memory as the 'hero that never was'. Do you understand?" Her voice was calm, almost cordial, but the look in her eyes... She'd definitely learned that from Izuku.

Katsuki laughed without humor, bracing a hand on his forehead as heat pressed in at his eyes again. "Why do you assume I'm going to hurt him?"

"Well, you have a notoriously bad track record for being nice to him. You've hurt him more than you will ever know, and he's working really hard to get over everything you put him through. Honestly, I think this whole thing is just a disgusting form of Stolkholm Syndrome. I'm not going to let you hurt him like that again."

Another hollow laugh. "You don't have to tell me. I know well enough. I don't need your meddling, nosy ass to tell me. But we're mates. It's different now."

"Is it?" The tone in her voice had changed, becoming hard and harsh. Flat like he'd never heard her voice go before. "Then why haven't you told Deku that you're pregnant?"

Katsuki's head snapped up, and the tears escaped before he could stop them. 'No. No. Nonononononononono! Fuck!' And underneath the shock was anger.

Ochako huffed, setting her cup down on her beside table. "Don't look so surprised. I'm not an idiot. One plus one equals two, Bakugou. One being the frankly weird shit you've been doing and the other being stuff from Deku. Before you get mad, it was just him honestly gushing about your relationship."

Actually, the anger had been thinking Kirishima had outed him for reasons he couldn't father. It was more than a relief to know that his best friend still knew how to keep his mouth shut.

"I'm not stupid, and neither is anyone else, but as a fellow omega and a woman, I know my fair share about pregnancy because I made the effort to learn about my body. That, and well, a stint as a kid where pregnancy fascinated me. My point still stands. If I figured it out, there may be more people suspecting..." She trailed off, eyes tracking over his face. "Then again, probably not since no one else is an omega. They probably think you're acting weird because of the 'new' mate bond."

Katsuki didn't answer, and reached for the cup as he felt the burn of bile at the back of his throat.

Ochako sighed, and the hard expression she sported dropped into her more usual soft expression. She grabbed her own cup. They drank in silence until Katsuki couldn't take it anymore.

Slowly, he bent until his forehead pressed to his knees and choked out, "You can't tell him. Please."

"Don't hurt yourself there, Bakugou," she said, voice light.

He snapped back up, anger boiling in his stomach. "Don't take this so lightly, Round Face! I'm being-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Serious, yes, I am taking this seriously. I'm an omega, Bakugou, and a woman, like I said before. I know what this means for the both of you if the wrong person finds out. I'm not stupid, and I'm not heartless. I want to see all of us become heroes." She smiled softly before her smile fell away, becoming serious again. "But you've been reckless. You need to be more careful with your body."

"I'm being as careful as I can, but I can't back down too much or I'll get caught."

She sighed. "Fair enough." Pressing her fingers together, she pursed her lips. "You're going to have to tell him eventually, especially before the birth. He literally has to be there. You know the success rate otherwise."

"Yeah, I've done my fucking research, Ochako. I'm not a goddamn imbecile," he growled.

"Honestly, you could have fooled me."

Katsuki snarled in reply.

"But for the sake of my best friend and his career and for the baffling love he has for you, I'll support you as much as I can. That way you'll give birth to a strong healthy baby! The fact that that baby is going to make him literally the happiest person in the world is the only reason I'm being nice here."

"Jesus, between you and Shitty Hair, I'll be getting enough paternal pheromones that Deku won't need to be in the picture," he groused, but that was a lie. No one could ever replace Izuku.

"Dirty lies," Ochako chirped.

Katsuki thought that would be the last of it, but one talk turned into Katsuki teaching her how to sew and knit which ultimately turned into long quiet hours of putting together onsie after onsie.

He wanted to hate it, he really did, but the feeling of growing his tiny little pack of soon to be five was intoxicating. So, he indulged. Izuku being excited about him making friends with Ochako was only an added bonus.

#my hero academia #mha #bakudeku #dekubaku #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #omegaverse #omega!katsuki #alpha!izuku #my writing #multi-chapter #little life

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darkpoisonouslove · 3 years

Note

Here are “some” fic writer asks for you: 1, 5, 6, 9, 10, 20, 32 (I know you’re pro smut, but I’d love to hear why), 34 😁😆

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Angst, angst, angst. XD While that is true, I will try to give you more than that because I am sure that you already know that part. A typical me fic has two characters (that is law), three max. I like exploring stuff in more depth and with larger casts of characters that becomes harder because there are way more PoVs to figure out and juggle while you also try to keep it somewhat in check when it comes to length and opportunities to shine that you give the characters. So I prefer to work with smaller casts. Besides, it happens naturally in my stories because the focus of the story is usually the relationship between two people so there’s no need to put anyone else in there. I also love writing about established relationships without using the word in a romantic context. I just love it when the characters have years upon years of interaction behind them and know each other so well, yet there are still things to figure out and explore between them because human nature is just so complicated. I like to have some fantasy elements or better yet fantasy characters in a non-magical/fantasy setting. That is one of my favorite things and something that I blame mostly OUAT for but not only (I have always liked that kind of thing). Oh, yes, how could I forget (smh)? Love is always present in one form or another. What kind of hopeless romantic would I be if I missed to include that? XD Also, I usually like to write more relaxed things in terms of action. Not that I don’t love me a good action adventure story but mainstream media usually plays harder into those because they’re more “exciting” so there is an abundance of that already while the emotional aspects of the situations usually get glossed over and I like exploring those exactly. So most of my fics are the characters conversing and killing each other with words. I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of it rn.

5. Share one of your strengths.

I don’t wanna say dialogue again because that is always my answer to this question but what other strengths do I have???? (You’ll have to forgive me for this but I am going through a fun bout of doubt over here that is about personal matters but I see it has affected everything else as well.) Okay, if we count the whole writing process and not just the actual writing parts, I’d say that I am very good with connecting the dots. It’s why my plots click together and all the details piece like they were just a puzzle waiting to be put in the right place. Finding the bonds between separate elements and exploring those bonds and the way they function has always been of special interest to me not just in writing, but in anything I do. I want to know how things work and why they work like that, why event A causes reaction B from character C. I think that has helped immensely with building cohesive and (hopefully) comprehensive character arcs to base my stories on.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Now that I have to point out an actual weakness, I am stuck again because the doubt decided to fail me now (or is it my pride? or perhaps my analytical skills?). Anyway. One of my weaknesses is just powering through the details that I can’t figure out at the moment. I can’t do that and it really slows down the writing process a lot sometimes because I am stuck on the little things. However, I’d say that with me the little things very often influence the big things if not even take over them which explains why my process is like that. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I should just write the word I can think of even if it isn’t the right one instead of losing the rest of the sentence while I try to remember what is the word that I know will be perfect in that sentence. Or just put a placeholder for someone’s outfit and finish my damn outline instead of halting work on it for two months (yes, that is a specific example about a specific thing that has been annoying me).

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Hardest to write are definitely the ones that are still unfinished. XD But from the complete ones, I’d say that hardest was The End of Never because it dealt with so many things that I know nothing about, emotionally speaking. It definitely required a lot of empathy and thinking and rethinking and overthinking... which is why it took so long to write (a year and 3 weeks).

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write?

I’d say that Heartless and A (Plot) Bunny Is Never Lonely were the two fics that were easiest to write. Heartless practically wrote itself while A (Plot) Bunny Is Never Lonely was supposed to be a joke, then a drabble, yet it kept growing until it was a full fic of its own. There definitely wasn’t a lot (or any) struggling with those two.

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

I don’t really have any. But my requirements are usually a table with a chair or a bed, some music for background and my concentration to be present (like it hasn’t been recently which is why I gave writing a rest for a while). Oh, yes, and sleep usually helps even though it is not an essential condition.

32. How do you feel about smut?

I love smut if it is written the “right” way (I am saying that completely subjectively). For me a perfect smut scene is something that involves the characters in their wholeness as people, not just the physical aspects and not just the romantic ones either. Smut is actually something that can be so personal I love it when it influences the characters on a level that reaches outside of the sex scene and even outside of their relationship with each other, when it affects the way that they perceive themselves and each other, even the world around them. It has to be a profound experience that means something outside of physical pleasure, a connection of the souls. The way I see it, sex is something very intimate and a scene that is set during it can and should bring out something about who the character is, about how their current actions during the smut are influenced by their whole life, by the previous experiences they’ve had with lovers and not only. A sex scene can be very raw with what it says about a character and how they’ve been treated by life and it is made even more interesting by the fact that that happens in such a vulnerable moment. It is the perfect opportunity to explore trust or the lack of such, thereof. And not just trust but blockages the characters have that seemingly have nothing to do with sex. (Can you tell it’s the psychology talking? XD)

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

I actually like reading both non-con and dub-con if there is a point to it and it is not written only for shock value. Following my thoughts on smut, non-con and dub-con give an opportunity to explore the reactions of the characters to having their whole belief system violated and that can really show what a character is made of. I am not sure I can articulate this well but it’s about the defiance and strength that a character relies on to get through a situation like that, about the recovery that speaks volumes about their will to live and not let what was taken from them hold them back, about the fact that even when you move on, that remains a part of you and even the acceptance of that fact is forced on you because you have to accept it in order to be able to live without being ruled by it. I don’t think I understand my own feelings on it well enough in order to be able to explain better.

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