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#like!! she could’ve had something about how the show helps her connect with and grow closer to jet
ilovefredjones · 10 months
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maddox you should’ve had emmy’s solo i’m so sorry
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grapejuicestyless · 10 months
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Every Road Leads Back To You.
Harry Styles x fem!reader
Summery: Harry and Y/n have always been life long friends. A friendship that fell apart with his fame, but came back with hers.
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From the moment they knew what a friend was, it seemed that Harry and Y/n had been that. Two friends who spent each and every second together. Sharing crayons in pre-school. Harry’s red wax scribbled on a thin sheet of paper to Y/n’s deep blue. Together they made purple.
They always shared, without realizing they did. Always so giving to one another, so gentle. They held each other closely, never alone. Always one step to the side of the other.
In elementary school, Y/n shared the sweetest candies with Harry when his mother insisted on packing healthy foods to help him grow up strong. Always letting him pick off what he wanted first before taking her share of the sweets. A smile plastered on their faces and chocolate smeared across their cheeks.
By middle school Y/n was buying all her shirts a few sizes too large. A habit she picked up so Harry could borrow anything he wanted, just as she had done to him. Raiding his clothes each sleepover and keeping them until he all but took them back. Something he said he found slightly annoying, but the redness on his cheeks and the guilty pleasure of seeing her in his clothes was nice. Only dueling his little kid crush on her. Nothing they had was ever just theirs. It always connected right back to the other but neither of them minded. They completed each other in so much more than materialistic ways. While a shared shirt or a worn down crayon box was a nice reminder of their invisible tie on one another, their constant presence and kindness that was reflected special for one another really completed them. Each becoming the better half of the other in their eyes. Something that was rare and so pure.
High school was the first ending between them. Each day spent together, hours dedicated to hearing Y/n’s laugh and Harry’s horrible jokes that she adored for reasons nobody else could quite get like she did. Homework was copied, tests were failed and tears were shed all on his bedroom floor like they always had been. And they remained together. It was their graduating year that Y/n gave Harry his final gift, one that neither had thought to be the last. Y/n had signed Harry up for X-Factor. A competition Anne and her had always encouraged him to apply for as he had such a raw talent. Harry believed that they were only saying that because they loved him, but Y/n believed he was the best singer in the world.
He went on the show. The Styles family excited waiting backstage in the T-shirts Y/n had made. Showing support even when she wasn’t allowed to be there. A touch only the family would know existed until the end of time.
By the time Harry was placed into a boyband, inching closer and closer to the end of the competition, it seemed he was growing more and more into someone you’d only ever read about in the latest edition of Vogue. His boyish demeanor never changing and his kindness strong, but his time diminishing quicker than anyone could’ve bet on.
So Harry no longer had time to be with Y/n ever minute anymore. No longer dedicating hours on his floor, back aching almost as hard as his cheeks from his smile. No longer joking about everything under the sun with her, no longer taking her shirts and trading off his as a fair deal. It all ceased to exist. And Y/n faded away into obscurity. Falling far from her role as Harry Styles’ best friend and into only his origin story.
………………………………………………………………………………..
One Direction was over. Whether the world chose to accept it or not. The promised return after the break becoming more and more obvious as one that fell through as the years continued to roll on.
It was always hard for Harry, being on his own. It wasn’t that he couldn’t do it, he had grown to be self sufficient over the last decade. Learning how to do things on his own. It wasn’t that he couldn’t handle it, it was that he had never mastered liking being alone. Always longing for a companion. Someone he could share everything with. Someone he could count on to laugh at even his worst jokes. Not just to humor him, but because they believed he was the funniest person on the planet. Someone that could give as much as he did. Someone who didn’t mind sharing.
Someone like her.
Over the years, Harry always thought about her. The reminiscent sound of her laughter still new and familiar to his ears. Something that he vowed to never forget. She always loved his jokes. Eyes constantly crinkled and teeth showing.
She gave too. Gave everything she ever owned to him in a joint custody. An unwritten rule between them. That no object was nearly as important as they were to each other. No job, no paycheck, no ranking in education could ever mean more than they did to each other. Harry still had some of her shirts. Bowie, Mercury, Buckley, Nicks. All the greats spread across some of his favorite shirts.
Everything about her was his favorite. Even after all this time. He’d had four boys to call his best friends all these years. Everyday spent together, bunk beds under one another and socks mixing together in their laundry loads, but nothing ever shared in the same way he had with her. His love for them not the same as it was for her.
That sense of loneliness always lingering in the back of his mind. Maybe a tinge of regret. He always wished he hadn’t let himself get pulled away from her. Maybe then she would be there, laughing with her head in his lap, mouth muffled against the denim on his thighs as she rolled around, holding her stomach and warning him that she just might piss herself.
Maybe they could’ve become more. Her hand in his and his lips on hers. A daydream he used to think about in middle school. One that faded away as his crush had. But now he would never see her again. Never hear her laugh or know how her smile changed with her age. He bet that it was just as beautiful, if not more. Just as welcoming. Just as genuine. But he would never know, as Harry had no idea were she was, where she had gone. Her phone number belonging to someone else now and all social medias deactivated and unused. She had truly slipped from his life, only to remain a wonderful memory. Until recently.
Like some unworldly creature had been guiding him, watching him and helping him, Harry had found her. It wasn’t in person, by any means. Her physical presence still as empty as it had been these past years. The loneliness still lingering and the regret still as sharp. But he had seen her. And everything he had ever wondered about her had been true.
For there she was, her face looking out an older looking window, surrounded by some of the biggest names. Florence Pugh, Emma Watson, Timothée Chalamet, Saoirse Ronan. There was his beautiful Y/n, the girl who always dreamed of Broadway and movies was on the movie poster for the new adaptation of Little Women.
Something about it felt so right. The way she aged like fine wine, looking just as youthful as she did in her later teen years now even in her mid twenties. The way she had made it into a large project, something she always dreamed of, and something Harry had always wanted for her as well. A accomplishment that she deserved more than anyone. That and the knowledge that her name, Y/n Y/l/n was scribbled under the quiet, yet kind character, Beth. Someone Harry believed fit her perfectly. As to him, Y/n was the best of anyone he’d ever loved. Even all these years later, Harry still believed she was something of an angel that was sent straight from heaven just for him. The better parts of him and the even better parts of her beside him for what should’ve been eternity, but were taken away without reason.
He tried not to be weird when he passed it. Trying with all his willpower to not stop and stare for an uncontrollably long amount of time. Yet, his feet grew heavier with each step by until he fell to a stop. Mouth opened slightly and eyes sparkling with joy and wonders. He looked like a young boy again, excited over something short of Christmas in his eyes. The best gift of all had been granted to him, the knowledge that his best friend was doing just fine.
Harry was quick with his fan girl natures over her. Sneaking a quick photo underneath his coat sleeve and turning his brightness down to such an aggressive dimness that only he could quite see what was on his screen. His fingers wandering away from the photos app and searching her name, trying to find anything out about her.
Y/n Y/l/n. A twenty five year old actress who had stared in a handful of critical acclaimed films now, and earned spots on a few well established television shows. How could Harry have not known? Had he really been so caught up in himself that he couldn’t see his old friend rising to a similar status as his? How could he have not known she was in so many different projects, many he had even planned to watch himself. How could he have been so blind to his Y/n, who had been just a few steps away from his reach, who had continued to stay by his side all while he thought she was somewhere far away?
It seemed almost absurd, the whole situation. Someone who was so involved in the media not knowing about a very popular actress, who just so happened to be his best friend. But it was true. Harry barely spent time on social media anymore, not enjoying it the same as he did in the band. And his feed was mainly just his new friends, any posts of other celebrities unseen. Deep down, Harry knew it wasn’t his fault he didn’t know. How could he have? There was no way to ask her, no way to reach her. But even then, he felt that the drifting was his fault to begin with.
He wanted to blame it on his tour schedule and his long studio hours he spent locked away from the real world in order to create something he loved. But in reality, Harry could only feel selfish. Selfish that he couldn’t even be bothered to pay enough attention to the rest of the world to see what was always there.
He tried not to overthink it, letting it slip into the back of his mind as he geared up for promotions and lavish parties that tumbled his way, schedule too full to be worried about someone who had probably already forgotten those years and their secrets. Someone who had probably stopped caring long ago. And so even as the thought sat in the back of his mind, Harry did what he always had. Shoving himself into his work until the rest of the world and his worries melted into a nothingness.
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It had been the night of a Gucci event. Something so prestigious to the outsider, but to Harry seemed more tame compared to the other events he was being dragged to. One that he could relax at knowing he had some familiar faces being in attendance.
He had worn his nicest suit. A simple white set with a ribbed tank top underneath. Pink sunglasses large on his face, but in a way he managed to make it look good. Hair tamed but free at the same time. To say he looked good was an understatement. Because Harry looked damn good, and he felt it too.
Not only had his appearance been a confidence booster, but the immediate finding of some of his friends helped to ease his mind from the pain of small talk. He had gone over lines he would say to new people, wanting to make friends and be kind, but felt more calm around those who already knew him.
It went smoothly, at first. His posture slightly slouched and drink held loosely in his hand. Eyes glued to the circle of people that had formed in the corner of the large room.
He felt comfortable, at ease with the whole night. It seemed that even in the beginning of the event he could see how it would end. With the professionalism fading away the deeper everyone grew into their drinks, and he would slip upstairs with a smaller group to do some questionable things, forget he did them in the morning and regret it while he was over the toilet by the afternoon.
A hot mess he would’ve taken any day over the hot mess Harry was about to become.
If he could’ve shattered his glass without facing consequences of it, he would’ve. Harry would’ve broken the glass and stared as hard as possible if it were acceptable. But it wasn’t, so when the all too familiar laughter, the same one that he could recognize anywhere as if it were one he still heard everyday just barely made it to his ears, he couldn’t stop his heart from racing and his eyes from widening.
Just beyond Alessandro, someone Harry had worked with in the past and was comfortable enough to call a friend with, was the one woman who haunted him innocently as a ghost.
At first he believed he was seeing things. His drink could’ve been spiked, for all he knew. He could’ve had one too many, even if he was only two drinks in and was nowhere near a lightweight after all his teen years conditioning to stomach the drink. But with the soft rub of his knuckle to his eyes and a few clear blinks, he could see it was true.
She glowed, standing out even in a room full of the most well known names. Her hair straightened until it was absolutely pin straight, the front pieces slicked back behind her ears into a sleek look. Her clothing similar to Harry’s, ironically. She wore a suit as well. The fabric the same shade of white and her face wearing glasses just as big. The inside the same shade of orangish-pink, the rims thick and black. A classic look that was perfect in her fact.. The only thing that seemed different was the fact that Harry had worn a tank top beneath his suit coat. She had a white vest underneath hers. One that acted as her shirt, and made her look that much better. She even had the same lazy grasp on her drink that Harry had on his.
She had been talking to someone Harry hadn’t recognized when he spotted her. Laughing at something the other woman had said genuinely before beginning her goodbyes. Her hands laying over the older woman’s gracefully and her head tilting down to excuse herself. How ironic that Harry would catch her slipping away, just as she had watched him do all those years ago.
Watching her walk away felt like his leaving all over again, and something snapped inside of Harry.
All these years of wondering, of regret and wishing that she was there had finally built up enough to make him forget that he was meant to stay and mingle. Make himself look good for future promotion of his upcoming album, Fine Line.
“Excuse me, sorry. I have to use the bathroom.” Harry hadn’t meant to be rude, but his eyes just couldn’t slip away from her fleeting frame, hands stuffed in her pocket and hair flying behind her.
His footsteps were rushed and quick, the warmness of the party turning into the darkness of the night the closer he got to the exit. Front door still wide open and the streets abandoned. Paparazzi not yet lined up on the sidewalks. He could see it now.
His broad shoulders had brushed another’s in his panicked state, soft sorry’s exchanged and his eyes becoming forced away from the only person in the room that seemed important in the moment.
The air was cold and with each heavy breath Harry could see a faint puff of his own breathe in front of him. He had lost sight of her quick, in his incident inside. His focus only lost for a beat, but long enough for the girl to slip away into the night like a ghost. It was only when he’d turned the corner, feet planted and chest heaving underneath a flickering lamppost that he saw her. The elegant woman smiling and thanking the driver whose car she’d began to get into.
He wanted to scream, to call out her name. Yell at her to stay, beg her to recognize him. But all that came from his lips was a heavy silence. Harry realized he hadn’t rehearsed what he should say to her. How do you speak to someone who knows you in and out after drifting so far apart and losing everything you once loved about each other? How do you reconnect? It was much too late to think about that, even in his jumbled mess of a head, he let his head speak.
“Y/n!” It came out staggered. Out of breath and winded from rushing out to get to her before she left. Feet heavy again on the pavement, goosebumps aggressive underneath his smooth suit. He was hell for leather in this moment, desperately trying to reach her.
His attempt was poorly timed, and just as they had all those years ago, the pair had slipped out from each others grip without realization of what was happening. Neither of them at fault, the only thing to blame was the lack of awareness that seemed to hurt them each and every time.
Y/n drove off in the opposite direction, oblivious to who had been shouting for her, who had been all but on his knees, begging for her to come back so they could see each other again. It looked pathetic, and he felt just as much. But Harry would much rather feel pathetic than regretful. A feeling it seemed the universe ordered him to continue feeling.
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Y/n never knew what happened that night, and maybe she never would. It was ironic, and all together idiotic that the pair, who had always been so in sync with each other had fallen out of it.
If there was one thing for certain that they still had, and would always have, it was the known fact that no matter where they were pushed or pulled, they could never stay apart for too long.
With each new release of an episode from some corny, yet brilliant series or the premieres of a highly anticipated film, it only became more and more apparent that she would forever be a name cemented into Hollywood pop culture. The crowds of paparazzi and cheerful fans lining the exit to each shop she visited usually only furthering it. Her presence at lavish and exclusive events becoming something that was regular.
So it wasn’t out of the blue that Y/n would be spending her night at yet another gathering. Yelling and dancing with another well established name in Hollywood, and one of her good friends at some random celebrities party. The lights blinding her and the music way too loud. That was the one thing that had changed over the years, with her status in the world.
Y/n used to adore this kind of thing. The constant moving, the sweat and the coolness of a hard drink soothing the intense heat of a club. She loved being social, partying only to regret it in the morning.
It wasn’t that Y/n had become dull, no quite the opposite. Y/n was always the life of every party. The one starting the stupid drinking games and cracking way too many jokes, laughing hard at the ones being told. It was the fact that everything was just so fast paced. Waking up too early and going to bed too late, Y/n longed for those quiet nights alone more and more. Loving being able to curl up with a friend or two and just enjoy the night intimately. Something she’d always loved, but something that she had grown to love even more now.
Still, she let herself be persuaded into nights like tonight, three drinks in before midnight and makeup smudged in rockstar kind of way. She had glitter over her eyelids and a devilishly lustful smile painted across her face. The alcohol bringing out the flirt within her.
So she let herself grind up against the man she had come with. No one more than a friend to her, but someone she trusted enough to let loose with. Someone with the same mindset as her.
And with her head thrown back against his shoulder, hands running down his neck and his fingers pressing into her hip bones firm, it seemed like nothing else in the world would matter. Maybe the headlines would be crazy if someone caught them being so scandalous, being so free, or maybe no one would care. A risk that was all too fun, all too familiar.
The laugh she let out was one of pure joy, eyes snapping open and head leaning back up. She slowed, stepping away from her friend. His eyes opened too, missing the feeling of her body on his. She waved her hand, signaling she was okay, always one step ahead, already expecting his worried expression and questions.
“I just need to sit for a minute, sorry.” She downplayed it, acted like she was only getting tired when in reality, the whole room was spinning at a forty five degree angle. Her brain mush and lipstick wearing down from its crisp red to a smudged pinkish color.
She found a home in a well worn leather couch, tucked away in the back of the room. The music still loud but the lights not as intense. She could feel herself finding her grounding all while the leather stuck to her thighs and swallowed her into a comfortable slump.
Eyes heavy, she swore she could’ve fallen asleep. She would’ve let herself too, if it were not for the all too familiar voice that just passed her by.
Even with the music pounding and the distant ringing that was leaving her ears now, she could make out the faint conversation, catching the ending of, “-so maybe in December? I’ll be home by then and we can totally try!” It was all so enthusiastic and light. The accent not too strong but present. One that was similar to hers. She was sure she knew who it belonged to, and in her curiosity, everything he assumed was true.
There, only a few feet from where she sat, she caught a glimpse of those all too recognizable green eyes. Ones that seemed fake, like contacts but were deeper and less intense the closer you looked. A deep green. Emerald even. And his dimples just as deep.
She rubbed her eyes, glitter residue on her knuckles. Blinking hard and swallowing, she squinted. Was she dreaming?
No, she decided. He was there. In the middle of a sea of people, just as youthful and energetic as she remembered. It felt sort of bitter, seeing him now. How after all these years of nonstop thinking of him, there he was. Easily accessible and closer than she could’ve wished. Y/n practically drank up his appearance. He was just as beautiful as the day he left. It was emotional, weirdly enough. Everything rushing back. How now, they had spent more time apart than together probably. The distance killing her slowly all while he lived a good life. She wondered if he thought of her like she did of him. If he missed her like she missed him. She wanted to know.
So, pushing herself up by her knuckles, leaving a trail of glitter, Y/n weaves between the crowd. His name on the top of her tongue, eyes blinking rapidly to drown out the lights shining down. Flashing and moving too quick.
He was moving, fast. Walking with a friend of a friend, a taller man who looked about the same age but gave the vibe that mentally, he was more mature.
“Harry!” She shouted, her voice falling mute to the loud music and side conversations. A hand found her wrist, pulling her away from him, just as she almost broke away from the crowd. As she almost reached him.
“I thought I lost you, dude!” Tom had joked, his voice loud and light. Y/n turned her gaze away from where Harry stood for a moment, making sure it was really her friend that had her in his hold. And only after seeing his curly hair and half buttoned up shirt did she look back.
Her gaze was met with the emptiness of the space where her old friend once resided. Frantically, she searched from where she stood idly, but he had gone quicker than he had came. Almost like in her tipsiness, he was a figment of her imagination.
But she was sure he was real, she could feel it. She hoped it too. Y/n eventually managed to unstick her eyes from the blank space, finding her attention locked on Tom’s lopsided smile and his heaving chest. She allowed a smile to spread across her cheeks, letting go.
Even then, while playing pretend and seeming like everything was fine, in her head she couldn’t quite enjoy the night the same, mind clouded by what could’ve happened, what could’ve been. And in that moment it felt like the wound of missing him had torn again, cutting deep into her chest and causing a shut down in her heart.
The rest of the night would only be spent in the ways she had expected it to when it started. With her drunk, glitter everywhere and lips smudged. What she hadn’t expected was the regret of not trying harder to reach out to Harry and letting him get away again to be so strong in her mind.
The wishes that he was still there no longer just lingering thoughts. Selfishly, Y/n began to pretend that Tom was Harry, the drunker she got. His name almost slipping past her lips while they danced.
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The air was crisp, the moon high. Even the softest breath could be seen, exposed in the cold December evening. The lampposts lights shining a translucent yellow that stretched across the pale pavement.
It was quiet, at this time of night. Late enough that the world was toeing a line between early morning and the latest parts of night. The clock inching closer to midnight with every passing second.
The world was asleep, the only sounds emitting into the once busy streets in the outskirts of London being the faint rustling from inside the twenty four hour pharmacy, the sharp crunch of hardening snow beneath his feet and the soft melodies that filled Harry’s earbuds, swallowing him into a world of his own. He had forgotten a few things at the market on his way home, and knew if he didn’t get them now, his future self would scold him for it in the early morning.
So there Harry was. He walked with his head down, one hand stuffed so tightly in his pocket, the warmth of the small enclosed space causing the palm to sweat a little, even in the cold. His other hand wrapped firmly around his phone, he searched his playlist for another song, wanting to find the perfect one to encapsulate this moment, cement the beauty of an untouched snowfall on the deserted streets of one of his favorite places.
“Umph!” It was muffled, when it fell against his ears. Music blasting still. Almost so quiet that he could have missed it, if not for the confirmation someone else was now with him with the very clear contact his body had made with another’s.
Harry let his hands tug at the wire leading to his ears, putting a pause to the noise that had swallowed him while for a moment. Ready to form some sort of short apology and be on his way, he took the chance to look up in search of the others eyes.
But what Harry found was something short of what could only be described as some sort of destiny.
Mirroring him, her hand stuffed into one pocket and the other pausing the music that had also seemingly taken her consciousness briefly, stood an old friend. One that haunted him every night, it seemed. Ever since his discovery of her.
“Y/n?” He meant to apologize, he really did. But in that moment he remembered having uttered her name too late all those nights ago, so it seemed that his heart was desperate to get it out in time now. Get her attention and never lose it again.
Her face was one that reflected his own. Eyes flickering up from her phone, mid-stuffing it into the empty pocket, headphones hanging down by her waist. And as hers met his, the whites surrounding the irises grew just as the slight parting of her mouth did. She looked equally as shocked as she did happy, in that moment. The circle of her mouth curling into a slight smile.
“Harry.” She breathed out, sounding breathless, he had taken it away. Seeing him that close, something Y/n had dreamed about for years, felt surreal. She could reach out and touch him, now. That’s how close they were. Like old times.
Harry took the time to inspect her before saying anything else, wanting to take her in a moment longer. Her shoes were just as well loved as all pairs of hers were. And her jeans were just as worn in as the deep blue puffer jacket that just about swallowed her whole in its size. One that had a slight tear in the left sleeve and ripped up fabric on the zipper. One Harry recognized to be his own.
Knowing Y/n had kept the jacket, after all these years, and even still wore it sent something through his body. An electric shock, his heart beating faster, body suddenly getting hot in all these layers. He felt good, seeing her still proudly showing off things that were his, but guilt soon took over.
What if she had only kept it because it was the only thing left to remind her of him? The only thing he had left for her? She wouldn’t have needed to keep it if he had been around. Had stayed by her side like they had dreamed about. His hand in hers.
“Is that my coat?” Harry felt stupid that, that was the question he thought of to break the silence. He could’ve asked her how she’d been, or what she was doing in London, but instead his mind stayed stuck on his jacket, a detail only he would ever realize was so intimate.
She blushed, at his question, looking down briefly as if she had no idea what she was wearing. Downplaying it in her own embarrassment.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t think you’d want it back. I found it in my closet when I was packing my stuff.” Y/n flashed the warmest smile she could, one that hit directly at Harry’s heart.
“I can’t imagine it smelled too good.” He cracked a smile of his own now. It wasn’t the funniest joke, only one to help lift the heaviness of them meeting, but Y/n still laughed. It was quieter now that it was later and only for him to hear, but it felt just as good as it did all those years ago.
“No, it smelled good. Smelled like you.” Her eyes didn’t leave his when she said it, highlighting the unspoken fact that even after all this time apart, even after he had left her, she still thought of him fondly. She still loved him the same.
“Mm, teenage boy musk.” Harry joked again, feet starting to move, he let his hand find the small of her back, spinning Y/n so she was walking with him now. Something they’d both done half on purpose, but mostly subconsciously. Totally focused on just being beside each other again. Y/n let out a breathy laugh this time, swatting his arm playfully. Harry let out a fake groan, holding his arm even though it didn’t hurt in the slightest. And the sidewalk fell quiet, Y/n searching for what she wanted to say next.
“It smelled like vanilla. Like your old house and that bakery you used to work in. Like childhood.” She couldn’t have described it better. For every lingering scent that had stuck to the fabric in her old closet smelled like growing up. It grounded her. It reminded her that even when she got all big and well known, she always had a place back home. That she could always come back and hide away in her rocket ship bedsheets that Harry had permanently tinted blue after washing them with his.
He loved knowing that she thought of him still, he figured she would like the same.
“You know, I still have every single one of our old shirts.” Our. Not his, not hers. But our. Because that’s what they were, there’s. They shared them. Bought them with the other person in mind, shared them like they’d both bought it. Like they both owned it.
Going back to that, Harry began to realize just how right Y/n was in her description of the jacket. Even though Harry barely wore the shirts anymore, it wasn’t because he stopped loving them. No, they were just as special now as they were back then, but he hadn’t had her like he did then. He didn’t have her constantly around to stick to the shirts and remind him that they also belonged to another. Harry hadn’t worn them because they still smelled of her. Of cinnamon and strawberries. Of early morning breakfast and wet April rain. It smelled like all the places and things she’d done. It smelled like childhood. He worried that if he wore them now, he would lose that one last memory of how she smelled. Of who she was.
But now here he was, right beside Y/n, and she still smelled the same. Sweet and fresh, like she had never left. Harry was sure he smelled just the same now. His scent still vanilla and his love for baking still as strong. He hoped he smelled the same, wished he brought that same closeness to Y/n’s heart as she did to his now.
“They still smell like us.” He wanted to say they smelt of her, but he thought it might be too much. Y/n almost wished he had only said that it smelled of her, but she knew that Harry was always going to be less forward than her. Just a little bit shyer than her in his feelings.
The conversation carried away from their old relics of childhood memories and into more recent things. But the entire time, it flowed just as easy. They’d managed to catch up without really aiming to catch up. It just sort of happened throughout their conversation. Just like their friendship had started, they had shared themselves with one another, shared everything without realizing it. And in it, Harry realized he hadn’t gone to the pharmacy like he intended, but instead had walked past it. He knew that in the morning he would still need those things he’d forgotten, but he wouldn’t be mad. Because now he had something better. He had his Y/n back.
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In the next few weeks, Harry and Y/n found themselves with their phones glued to their ears. The others voice filtering through the speakers. They talked everyday again. Hours on end like they used to. They hung out in every free minute they had. Like they were always meant to. In that, they found that they had done so much more than just miss the other. They had longed and desired one another. Always wondering, always thinking about the other.
In the new time spent together, their lives intertwining once more, Y/n realized she never wanted to miss Harry again. She never wanted to loose him like she had before. Her heart had grown too fond of him to let him go. And for Harry, he remembered why he had, had such an intense crush on her when he was just a boy. It was so cheesy, how he had fallen for her so quickly again. But you know what they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. And they had, had a lot of distance to help that grow.
So the pair became more than friends, it seemed. The best friends enlightening everyone on their long, hard road to each other, all with their hands in one another and Y/n’s lipstick staining the corner of Harry’s mouth.
Harry’s fame had taken him away, but in some sort of luck, hers had brought them back together.
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zombholic · 7 months
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Hiii! I love your writing so much. I was wondering if you could possibly write something about softballplayer!reader with abby/ellie. Like maybe reader loses a huge game and abby/ellie is there to help with the frustration.
HOME RUN — ellie williams
description — modern au, no post outbreak, softball player!reader, girlfriend!ellie, college au, smut mdi.
authors note — guys idk anything abt softball so like bare with wtv sport terms i use :/
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The rivalry team had ran several home runs, you threw your hat on the dirt ground in frustration. Your jaw clenched as you watched the whole team celebrate in their win, rolling your eyes you walked over to the bench chugging the remaining water in your water bottle.
“Next time guys, I’ll see you guys next week for practice.” Your coach was disappointed but she wasn’t the type to show it.
Your whole team followed your captain to the locker room, defeated looks plastered on every girls face. The whole room was silent the only sound of feet shuffling and duffle bags zipping up.
You were the last to leave the locker room, losing was never your thing and it never will be. You’re a competitive person, anger was just boiling in your veins.
“Y/n? Baby, you here?” You heard the raspy voice of your girlfriend call out for you in the echoing room.
“Yeah Els, m’here.” You were sat on the bench tying up your laces, hearing the footsteps of her get closer.
“Hey, stop with the pouting you guys lost one game out of how many?” She squatted in front of you, her arms on her knees with her tattoo that you loved so much on display.
“But this loss was so fucking stupid! We could’ve had it if fucking Jaden knew how to throw a damn ball!” Your voice was now growing louder in frustration.
“Baby, she’s new, just a freshmen don’t be so rough on the girl.” Ellie hand your hand in hers, rubbing the back of it, leaving soft sweet kisses on the back of it.
You sighed taking your hair out of the stupid bun you quickly tossed it in, Ellie always knew how to soothe you. Having a girlfriend with anger issues was not easy to deal with but she knew how to ease you with little things like kissing you so gently as if you were fragile.
She grabbed your chin pulling you into a loving kiss, lips melting into each others. Ellie was swift with changing her position from her toes to the bench with each leg over it, pulling you closer by your waist.
The kiss getting hotter every lingering second, Ellie was a sucker for slow kissing, the way she took her time feeling your tongue with hers made her sluttier. You slowly pulled away from her giggling watching her chase after your lips.
“Not in the locker room baby, someone’s gonna walk in.” Your comment made her roll her eyes.
“Everyone is probably home, c’mon.” She bit her bottom lip, her black framed glasses sliding down the bridge of her button nose.
“Be quick Ellie.” Is all you had to say before her slender fingers were quick to undo your pants.
You bit your lip trying to hide the grin forming on your lips, seeing how desperate your girlfriend was for you even after all these years of being together. You lifted up your hips to help her slide them off faster along with your panties, you watched her get on her knees for you, her hands were quick to throw your legs over her shoulders.
Ellie was a little pervert, she fucking went crazy over your scent even stole some of your underwear while she was fucking you into absolute oblivion. She kissed the inside of your thighs, leaving little love bites that made you squirm and whine for more.
“Mm so needy sweetheart, use your pretty little words.” The way she knew how to sweet talk you could make you orgasm.
“Please Ellie, please touch me.” You huffed a little feeling your body start to heat up from the inside.
“Touch you where baby?” She basically mocked, her lips kissed your aching clit causing you to buck your hips.
“Please touch my pussy, please Ellie.” The way you begged for her had her brain hazy.
Her lips connected with your pulsing bud, sucking on it so deliciously your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your fingers made their way onto the roots of her hair as your thighs spread further apart.
“Mmgh— oohh fuuck Ellie.” You felt her two fingers slide so easily into your soaking cunt.
She curled them so amazingly making you clench around her, her pace quickened with every moan of her name that slipped out your whiny lips. Her tongue swirling around your clit making the pleasure overwhelming.
“Fuck, I could eat this pussy for hours.” She muttered to herself, fucking her fingers into your squelching hole at an ungodly pace.
“M’gonna cum— gonna cum Els!” Your mouth fell open feeling the pressure in your stomach rise.
“Aww gonna cum pretty? Cum all over my face.” Your eyes half lidded looking at your girlfriend devouring you.
The way her glasses fogged up the frames, her green eyes locked onto your pretty ones. Fuck she looked so beautiful like that.
“Ohmygod.. m’cumming i’m cummin Ellie!” Your orgasm hit hard it had you seeing stars for a minute.
“God you should see your pretty little fucked out face doll.” She chuckled wiping her chin with the back of her hand, a cocky smirk smacked onto her face.
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sensivs · 1 year
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Obanai x Mitsuri x You !!
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(Obanai and Mitsuri were head over heels for each other, and everyone knew that, but what was keeping them from getting together? The answer for that was you, you were a hashira along with the both of them, specifically the (first) insect hashira, they both admired your beauty for a while until they both finally got together and came up with a plan where all of you were happy with one another)
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..
“Mitsuri and obanai have been eyeing each other ever since they met each other. I’m surprised not one of them have made a move yet” shinobu said as she worked on making more refills of her medicine.
You hummed as you listened to her ramble on what the lastest tea was, you were always the one having to listen to shinobu whenever she had some news to tell someone.
You let out a deep breath, “I can never get enough of your ramblings” you chuckled slightly at the of your sentence, shinobu smiled, “I’m glad”.
“I have to go now shinobu, see you later” the black haired woman hummed a goodbye as she heard your footsteps grow faint.
It was a lovely afternoon, the sun shined brightly and the birds chirped songs like no other. You couldn’t help but admire the beauty of the garden.
You stepped down to admire the flowers that began to bloom, the buds slowly exposing their soft, new peddles. While admiring the flowers, something caught your eye.
You turned your head to side, trying to figure out what could’ve been the thing that caught your eye, pink and green hair was the first thing you saw. Then, as you looked more into what the thing was, you connected eye contact with gorgeous green eyes.
As soon as the person saw that you caught onto them, they dashed away. You were about to call out to them but it was too late, they were probably too far gone to hear you.
You sighed deeply but decided to continue admire the various different flowers growing.
﹒⪩⪨﹒
After a long, hard mission. You were left to walk back to the mansion, you breathed heavily as you dragged your body across the dirt road.
As you were dragging yourself you noticed a familiar white and black striped haori appeared in the corner of your eye, you turned your head to find one of your fellow hashira. Obanai.
You grew excited as you finally saw a familiar face, “obanai!” You called out, which happened to scare obanai a bit, the black haired man turned around to see you jogging over to him.
He quickly turned around but didn’t walk away and instead waited for you to catch up to him. “Obanai! Did we seriously have our missions so close to one another?! That’s so cool!”
You went on to ramble on whatever you decided to ramble on about. You turned to obanai, unlike whenever he was around anyone else (other than mitsuri), he was actually listening to you. Taking in the information that you provided him and took it into mind.
Obanai noticed your staring and quickly shielded his intensely red face, his snake following his exact movements.
You giggled “I appreciate you actually listening to my rambling iguro” you said with a sweet smile.“No problem..” obanai replied softly, still hiding his face.
﹒⪩⪨﹒
A couple days went by, nothing out of the ordinary happened while doing so. You continued doing your missions and continued just being you.
On one particular day, you were helping aoi with the chores around the butterfly mansion. “Y/n~! A certain someone came around to see you!” Your sister’s voice called out to you. You excused yourself from aoi and jogged over to where shinobu was.
Shinobu gave you a sly grin and walked off, showing the “certain someone” she was talking about.
Mitsuri’s gorgeous green eyes met yours, she quickly pushed an envelope onto your chest and ran off. You were kind’ve taken aback by how quick she ran off.
You opened the envelope to read that you were asked to meet obanai and mitsuri next to the cherry blossom near the stream in the garden by the time the sun was at its lowest while setting.
You looked up and saw the sun slowly turn the blue sky into a bright warm orange color with mixes of other colors.
You made your way over to the stream, wondering what you were invited for. You finally made it to see both obanai and mitsuri talking to one another.
Obanai caught your appearance and tapped mitsuri, making her look at you. Once you grew more near you saw that they were both flushed with a bright red color on their face.
“You.. asked to see me..?” You asked, obanai and mitsuri shared a looked and quickly looked back at you, nodding simultaneously. “So, what happened?”
Mitsuri coward behind obanai, smacking the back of his shoulder and whisper-yelling “tell him!”. Obanai reluctantly stepped forward and opened his mouth.
“Me and mitsuri talked about this and.. we were wondering if.. you’d.. like.. to.. date us.. both..?” Obanai said as he looked at the ground. You could hear his embarrassment in asking such a request.
You smiled softly, “why of course~!” You said as you interlocked fingers with obanai with one hand and interlocked fingers with mitsuri with the other.
“I’ll gladly be with the both of you~” you said smoothly, mitsuri’s eyes grew bright as she leaped onto you, hugging you with her arms around your neck. You took obanai by the waist and pulled him close to you too.
..
OH EM GEE GUESS WHO DECIDED TO WRITE AFTER 4 MONTHS!!!!!!?????????
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enid-rhees · 10 months
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a family | enid rhee x fem!reader
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summary: when Aaron brings back an abandoned infant, you and Enid decide to take her in as your own.
warnings: none!
genre: fluff 🫶🏻 honestly it’s a bit cheesy 😭
a/n: hope you all enjoy 🫶🏻! requests are open! if you’d like to request, read pinned for rules! and slight thing, i wrote this as Enid and reader being married to each other! this specific story takes place after the time-skip, so Enid is canonically 23 years old.
oh, and i also changed her name 😭 do not get me wrong i love the name Gracie, but there’s a personal reason for it . i LOVE Gracie she’s precious 😭😭
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the garden was your favorite chore at Hilltop. being able to grow the prettiest flowers, and decorate the area with them, place some in vases for bedrooms, or give the ones you find prettiest to your wife.
you could spend hours out here, just tending to each flower and making sure they were growing healthily. the fresh smell of them relaxed you.
beside you, your wife - Enid - helped you plant the seeds of purple and blue flowers. if anyone truly knew how much you loved this, it was her.
she would do this with you for hours on end if she wanted to. and afterwards, you would lay next to the garden with her, basking in the sun above you.
you dusted off your dirt covered gloves and slid them off to place them next to you, Enid doing the same. when she slid off her right glove, her diamond ring showed on full display. Enid wore it at all times, she has never taken it off since the day you made her yours forever.
“come here, pretty.” you mumbled to Enid when you laid down beside the garden, closing your eyes as the sun hit your face. she crawled over to you, fitting herself perfectly into your side.
her hand rested over your stomach, and her fingers started to mindlessly play with the fabric of your flannel. Enid placed her head on your chest, closing her eyes as well.
you decided long ago that your life couldn’t get any better than it already was. you barely cared about the horrors that were right outside the gate of your home, as long as you had Enid and your group, everything was perfect.
well, almost perfect.
Enid’s scent filled your nose, you could’ve sworn it was like getting a glimpse of what heaven was. you’ve never felt more at ease when she was in your arms. so weightless.
she placed her head in the area between your collarbone and your neck, kissing the spot in front of her lips. you giggled at the small tickle you received from it. your eyes opened and you turned your head towards Enid. her green eyes stared into yours.
“you’re so unreal.” you whispered, “i have to be the luckiest girl in the world if i’m able to have you like this forever.”
Enid smiled, sitting up so she could sit on your thighs. your hands automatically went to her waist to keep her balanced on you. she leaned down, her lips only centimeters away from yours.
“i think i’m the lucky one.” she whispered before finally connecting your lips. you kissed back, hands sliding under her shirt to hold onto her.
you could never get enough of this. her kisses were your addiction. the way they moved against yours so delicately, but yet so desperately.
when she moved her head down to kiss down your neck, the Hilltop gate started to open. Enid jumped off of you and stood up, leaving you no choice but to stand up as well.
you brushed off your clothes and followed Enid to the gate. about an hour or two ago, Aaron had left Hilltop for a small run.
he walked in, his backpack full, but he was holding something in his arms. it was wrapped in a blanket completely, you weren’t able to tell what it was.
“Aaron, what is that?” Maggie asked, who was previously working on planting more vegetable seeds. he was hesitant in answering, looking down at it but not knowing what to say.
“before i- before i show you, you need to promise not to panic. she was left in an abandoned store with walkers.”
your eyebrows raised, “she?”
Aaron sighed and dropped his bag to unveil what was under the blanket. when he unwrapped the blanket, a baby was sleeping there. a newborn baby.
Enid’s eyes widened as she stared at her. Maggie put her hand over her mouth while you stared in utter shock. Aaron looked defeated, if the baby was left in a store full of walkers, he had to fight them to save her.
“i don’t know what to do with her. but i couldn’t leave her there.” he finally said after a minute of silence.
you turned to Enid at the same time she turned to you. it wasn’t hard to figure out what either of you were thinking. for almost a year now, since the day you married her, there have been multiple talks about having a baby — or adopting one.
and to be completely honest, there was nothing the two of you wanted more than to have a child of your own. to care of them endlessly, to love them until the very end. that’s all you guys wanted, it would officially make you guys complete.
you couldn’t say how many nights you and Enid have dreamed of having a child of your own, there were too many to count. you would tell each other every time, and talk for hours about the things you would do with your child.
the two of you had more than enough experience with babies. you spent a good chunk of your own childhood raising Judith, and Enid had massively helped Maggie with Hershel Jr when he was first born.
this was something you both knew you were absolutely sure on. you knew what you wanted.
“we’ll take her.” you told Aaron. he looked at the two of you with wide eyes and Maggie stepped in front of you guys. “this is a newborn baby, Y/N. it’s more work than you can imagine.”
“we know that.” Enid told her, moving closer to you. “we know what it’s like to raise a baby in a world like this. you did it with Hershel and i was there with you for all of it, and Y/N helped her family raise Judith since she was a child. we know what we’re doing.”
Aaron and Maggie looked at each other with uncertainty. you sighed, “you have no idea how long we’ve been dreaming of having a baby of our own. don’t underestimate us because we’re young, this is what we want. this is what we’ve been wanting. please.” you pleaded, feeling tears prick at the corner of your eyes.
Maggie’s concerned expression turned soft. she looked over at Aaron once more, and he nodded. “okay.” she said, “just… i’m here if you have trouble. i’ll always be here to help with her.”
you stepped forward, and Aaron gently placed the baby in your arms. you cradled her, keeping her close to your chest. she slept so peacefully inside that blanket. you peeled part of it away from her head, she had gorgeous blond hair.
looking up at Enid, she smiled widely and pressed her head against yours. a tear slipped down her cheek as she looked down at the baby.
your daughter.
“we did it, love.” you whispered, voice cracking when you tried to keep your tears in. “we have a daughter.”
Enid put her hand on the back of her head, leaning down to press the softest kiss to her forehead.
both Maggie and Aaron watched with small smiles. they realized they made the right choice, you and Enid were going to be amazing parents.
“i still have Hershel’s crib and a bunch of his toys. she can use them, we’ll put the crib in your room.” Maggie said. you looked up from the baby, “thank you so much, Maggie.”
“of course. why don’t you bring her inside? bring her up to your guys’ room. me and Aaron will get the crib.” you nodded and started to walk back inside.
Enid held the door open for you as you walked in with her in your arms. you walked up the stairs and into your shared bedroom. she closed the door, sitting on the bed next to you.
“i can’t believe it,” she whispered with a shake of her head. “we have a daughter. we have a family. and she’s so precious.”
you giggled, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of your baby. she was truly precious as she slept. “we need a name.” you whispered.
“what’s that one you really liked? we talked about it a little while ago.” Enid questioned, softly stroking the baby’s blonde strands.
“there was a few i really liked. Alice, Mila, Luna, Ruby…” you trailed off. you’ve spent multiple sleepless nights exchanging baby names for the small chance that you would have a baby.
“Luna.” Enid smiled, “that’s the one.”
“you liked that one?” you asked, “of course i did. it’s beautiful.” you smiled, looking back down at her. “Luna it is.”
Enid laid her head on your shoulder as you both looked down at Luna, watching her sleep so peacefully. there was an overwhelming sense of happiness inside of you. it was so hard to contain, it genuinely felt like your life finally became complete.
your bedroom door opened, and Maggie and Aaron walked in, carrying the wooden crib that Hershel once used. Maggie also had a small bag with her, you assumed it was everything that used to be Hershel’s that she’s now giving to you.
they placed the crib on Enid’s side of the bed against the wall. she then set the bag on your bed. “alright, there’s formula in here, as well as diapers and wipes. i really hope you guys realize how much she’s going to shit and pee, cause it’s a lot.”
you chuckled, “yeah, we know. i think you’re getting how bad Judith was.” you joked lightly. “and Hershel.” Enid grimaced.
Maggie laughed, “you’re right. sorry for underestimating you guys like this, i forget Y/N had to raise Judith so young. and you with Hershel… you’re going to be amazing parents.”
you both smiled at her, “thanks, Maggie.”
“of course. we’ll leave you alone with… wait, have you guys thought of a name yet?” she questioned. “Luna.” Enid said, unable to control her smile widening.
“oh, that’s beautiful, guys. we’ll leave you guys alone with Luna for now. we still might have some of Judith’s baby clothes lying around, i’ll bring some up later.” she kissed both your heads and and left with Aaron.
“should we put her in her crib for now?” Enid asked. you shook your head, “you haven’t held her yet.” you responded, and gently handed Luna to Enid.
the sight of Enid holding Luna ignited something in you. it felt like your chest was going to explode, this was something you never thought would be possible. it was overwhelming in the best way possible.
tears finally slipped down your cheeks. Enid held Luna so gently in her arms, afraid to wake her. you couldn't break your eyes away from them, your wife and your daughter.
that repeated in your head. your wife and your daughter.
when the apocalypse broke out, you expected to only make it a week before you were inevitably eaten. you were convinced it was the only way. you had already said goodbye to the dreams you had.
it was a miracle that you managed to get to Alexandria, and it only got better when you met Enid. you never thought you could get this lucky. and when you got together, you knew that this was the best the new world could get. as long as you had her, you were okay.
and when you finally married her, you knew you were the luckiest girl in the world. but now… now that you have a daughter, you’ve decided that you beat the new world. nothing can possibly get better than this. 
you turned your head and leaned forward, kissing Enid’s head. Enid leaned into your touch, smiling at the affection. she turned her head towards you, softly kissing your lips. “i really love you.” she whispered.
“I really love you too.” you giggled, kissing her once more. “i think we should put her in the crib now. looks like she’ll be asleep for a while.” Enid told you. you both stood up and walked over to the crib. you pressed a kiss to Luna’s head before Enid lowered her into the crib.
she stayed asleep when she set her down, and you both laid down on your bed afterwards.
“i can’t believe today happened.” Enid mumbled. “we have a daughter.” she whispers in disbelief. each time the word daughter slipped out from either of your lips, it started to feel more real.
Enid placed herself in your arms, kissing your cheek lightly. “how are you feeling?” she asked, rubbing her thumb over your lip.
“i’m so happy, Enid.” you told her, “i never thought this would actually happen to us. but it did… and i’m just so happy.” tears filled Enid’s eyes again as she smiled widely at you. “i can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you and our daughter.”
she leaned down and kissed your lips, holding your face gently. everything felt perfect in that moment. completely and utterly perfect.
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atypical family yapping #2
so many thoughts hurtling around in my brain but for now I keep thinking about lost time with loved ones and how we can take it for granted or circumstances can keep us away.
I actually started to think about this because since it’s been one day since I finished watching the show and we all know what happens, I remembered Dahae going missing and pretending to be dead (to try and stop Gwiju from going in the past and helping her in the fire). It seemed like she was at least gone for a week and since I have the gift of hindsight I kept thinking that’s a week you could’ve loved each other more.
Back then I still thought we had a chance and we’d look back to that episode like we do in most shows as a small hiccup they see after spending years together. Since everything ended so fast I sort of grieved that little time too and then it hit me 😭,
before Dahae is introduced into the Bok family (albeit as a scammer) they live in such a fractured state. they’re together but they’re just existing around each other. and it seems like they stayed in that state for a decade 💀🙏
like I’m out here complaining about maybe a week or so that our couple didn’t stay together or that they should’ve gotten more time together and there’s Ina (and the entire family but they’re adults) who lost on such important and precious time with her father in her life. his depression (something I understood deeply) kept him from connecting with her and they lost on such important time together. she basically had to grow up alone. apart from a sympathetic grandfather there wasn’t really anyone looking out for her.
then comes my scammer sister queenie dahae
as she’s introduced, slowly they start spending time together. it starts with the scammer sauna family slowly picking up roles and helping the Bok family (selfishly but nevertheless) whether it’s through sleeping and making them eat meals to making them exercise.
to the point where Ina in a decade, opens up about her powers and doesn’t even mind having a scammer around. lil bean is so brave that she doesn’t mind going to the sauna and looking the money lender mom right in her eyes 😭 she’s found someone to lean on.
so does her dad. as he continues being around dahae, he’s put into new situations and slowly as their relationship progresses he finds a way back to life. he finds a way back to his daughter.
they begin making up for lost time.
which is why everything seems extra cruel and leaves me mourning the time they all could’ve had together.
the way the scenes were shot in episode 10 when dahae is leaving them with happy memories, you can’t really savour them in the episode because they’re tinged with the pain of her not being there afterwards.
they got me so good in episode 11 next where they kept promising us a tomorrow and I completely bought it. and then it all comes crashing.
kinda tearing up writing about it because him rushing around in that episode with Ina, buying her that cotton candy, running around with her in that warm light, we truly were bound by time as it was slipping away.
moments and memories like these always make me so greedy, hence I find myself writing this when I should probably begin working 😭
i wanted more for all of them. Gwiju’s moments from episode 10-12 are so hopeful and happy and the way he keeps telling everyone that he’ll fight for it, he’ll stay here, there will be a tomorrow. just for it to not be, my heart 😭
wish they got to make up for more of the time lost. ahhhh they got me good. crying at the club at 10 am vibes.
spend time with the people you love besties. if you can, hug them and kiss them and just linger around because that truly makes life. if you don’t have someone like that I’m personally sending you a hug and kiss, extend your forehead 🫂💋
this is already my third atypical family post and I have so many things to talk about. trust I’ll just keep blabbering for a week.
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mrs-johansson · 10 months
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Chapter 5: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Two Ghosts
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Part 3:
Whenever my dad throws a party, I’m glad that I moved out. Back in the day, I was forced to help him organize these things and how much I like just attending them. Getting dressed up and ready was something I always enjoyed and who knows, maybe I’ll meet someone tonight. Single and definitely not ready to mingle or see my ex-girlfriend flirt with my other teammate. Great.
“Is this the Stark genes that you all like to dress up as if you’re going to an award show?” Steve’s comment rang through the halls of the tower. I smiled at his voice and turned around. “It’s kind of the family motto,” I shrugged and he chuckled. “But I have to say, you clean up nicely for an old man.” “Couldn’t even lie about your family.”
Going up to the main floor, Steve and I talked about everything really. Even though he’s clearly not from the same generation as I am, we actually have really great talks.
Entering the party area, it was already packed. People who I’d never seen before were everywhere. “Do you see anyone you know?” I asked the man next to me. “Is this a rhetorical question?” “I guess it is.”
We were quick to attack the bar since it looked to be a long night ahead of us.
“A beer and a gin and tonic please,” I said to the bartender and he got to work right away. “I imagine these kinds of events were a big part of growing up in Tony’s household,” Steve started and I laughed. “Is it obvious?” “Do you actually enjoy these? I mean it is a lot,” as the beer was placed in front of him, Rogers took a sip the next second. “Uhm… Mostly yes. If I don’t have the feeling to be here, I just don’t come. My Dad finds joy in these things and I’m just glad he has fun,” I said before sipping my drink.
The music blaring through the speakers with the multiple already drunk guests was something I thought was very entertaining. Alcohol being something my body can easily ignore was sometimes a bummer but mostly a blessing. At this point, I really don’t miss being a sloppy drunk.
Steve had decided to look around, but I insisted on staying by the bar, observing the crowd.
“How is it that you’re smart, beautiful, funny, and rich? Are you even real? How are you single?” The girl who’s been sitting next to me for a while now asked. Her fingers quickly found my exposed arm, running them up and down the skin. “She’s mentally unstable.” “Exactly.” I smiled at the girl and with a look behind my shoulder she left. “Who needs an enemy when you have friends like Sam Wilson?” I turned around, meeting with the Falcon. “You’re welcome,” he sat beside me.
“I’m glad you’re here, dude,” I spoke and he nodded with a smile. “Thank you for the invite. I’ve never thought a Stark party would be something I need in my life,” he looked around. “It must be a very new territory for you,” I suggested and he nodded. “Yeah, especially now. Looking for Bucky has taken up my time fully.” I feel bad for Sam. Steve is way too focused on this and I don’t know why he dragged Sam into this. “How’s that going?” I cleared my throat. “We found nothing so far. I don’t know how Steve has faith still,” he said like he didn’t actually understand him. “He is very determined to find him. He found the only person who he has a connection with. I wouldn’t stop either.”
***
“Banner and Romanoff, huh?” Steve walked down the stairs from behind and then took a seat next to me. “I still can’t believe it.. what does she find attractive about him? They’ve been flirting all night,” I sipped my drink which was way too much for a simple night like this. I was not drunk though. “I don't think it's that. Actually, I don’t know what it is,” Steve frowned. Yeah, he had some of Thor’s Asgardian drink too, so he was also in a good state. “At least they could’ve been more subtle,” I mumbled. “Bruce isn’t very subtle and he’s talking with Natasha, we both know that’s not an easy job,” he bumped his beefy shoulder to mine. “I dated her long enough to be subtle around her. He has nothing against me,” now I started to get a little angry. But I was jealous all night. “You guys are not together anymore, you need to let her do what she wants.” “Oh wow, okay Mr. I’m always right. I told you how she reacted when I told her about James, why should I be any different? You are what you eat, so I’m just gonna act like a bitch for a while.”
Walking up to the bar, I really felt like my head’s gonna explode out of anger. She flirts with Bruce all night, right in front of my face and she thinks I’m just gonna sit and watch. I thought she knew better.
As I came into view from the crowd of people, both of them noticed me. Bruce was quick to take the smile off of his face and cleared his throat while crossing his arms in front of his chest. Natasha took a good look at me, and I saw her eyes run down my body. Pathetic.
Putting up the biggest fake smile, I leaned on the counter and looked inside the bar. “What’s the specialty for tonight? I heard this place became very popular for some people, so I thought I would try it myself,” I glanced toward Banner who had a red drink in front of him. “Ooh, Banner what’s that? Did Nat make it?” I asked and I saw the shift in his demeanor. Anxiousness and panic sat on his shoulder. It’s so hard to not read minds in these kinds of situations. If she plays nasty why would I be any different? “Uhm yeah,” he mumbled. “Thought so, well I have whatever that is,” I turned back towards Natasha and she was looking at the two of us closely. “Didn’t you have enough already?” She spat out, her hands resting on the edge of the inside counter.
“I think I know my limits,” I lowered my voice. “I do too,” she looked me up and down. Oh wow, talk about mean girls... “I’ll do it myself if you won’t,” I shrugged and stepped to walk behind the bar but her hands quickly moved towards the bottle. “I got it.” I smiled ‘sweetly’ and stuck to my place.
I waited a couple of minutes, looking around the room, seeing who was around us, who might hear our conversation. Natasha was making my drink and Bruce was sitting on the edge of his seat, ready to slip away. But not today.
“So you guys are a thing now, huh?” I smirked at Bruce who could barely hold eye contact. “We were just talking,” he stumbled over his words. Gosh, how I missed this feeling, making people stutter and red.
Nodding my head, I reached for my glass behind the counter, taking it from Natasha’s hands before she could give it over. “Yeah, been there, done that. Wish I could say I was expecting more… you always had eyes for her,” I shrugged and sipped the drink. It was decent, way too sweet for my liking, I don’t doubt she made it even more sweeter than theirs.
“That’s not true, I would nev-“ “Oh come on, I have eyes, Bruce. But who cares, she’s single, all yours,” I smiled at him then drank the whole glass of alcohol and stepped up to him, not respecting his personal space at all.
“I know it feels nice to hear those nice words fall from that pretty little mouth of hers, but it will stop once she realizes that you want something serious. Save yourself and don’t put the halter round your neck.” I patted his shoulder and turned to look at Natasha who had a furious look plastered on her face.
“Oh Natalia…” I chuckled and with a sigh I leaned onto the counter, our faces getting closer as she did not move an inch. “I thought you would at least step back and not do this pity act, but this... wow. Talk about lowering your standards, am I right?” I smirked right into her face and when I saw she was ready to speak up, I leaned back and stood straight. “Anyways, I hope you two enjoy the rest of the party, despite the kids juice you’ve been drinking all night. I guess I’ll see you around,” I gave them the smile that would drive Natasha even more angry and walked back to my previous seat, Steve patiently waiting.
“That was painful to watch and I didn’t hear a word,” he said, leaning back on his forearms, the blue shirt tightening on his muscles. “Get up,” I said and he raised a brow at me. “Get up, Rogers. We need to get you laid,” I stated and he stood up, smoothing out his button up. “Who do you have in mind?” He looked through the crowd. I grabbed the drink out of his hand and downed it before putting it on a shelf. “Myself.”
***
Sitting around the coffee table with Thor’s hammer resting on it, we were all pretty tipsy by then. “But, it's a trick!” Clint insisted, since they’ve been messing about how Thor is able lift the hammer.
“Oh, no. It's much more than that.” Thor spoke. “Uh, "Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power!" Whatever man! It's a trick,” Clint tried to imitate the blonde and a round of chuckle was voicing the room. “Well please, be my guest,” Thor pointed at Mjolnir and with a big smile Clint stood up. “Clint, you've had a tough week, we won't hold it against you if you can't get it up,” I said and he chuckled but kept his way to the hammer. “You know I've seen this before, right?” He asked and grabbed onto the handle and tried his best. Clearly he couldn’t move it an inch and he just laughed.
My dad tried next but after he failed even with the Iron Man glove, he asked for Rhodey’s help, but still nothing. Next up, Banner. The way I almost choked on holding back my laugh. It was hilarious how he screamed and everyone got silent.
“You should try it Steve,” I murmured to him and he gave me a questioning look. “Go on,” I patted his knee and with a shrug he stood up. “Let's go, Steve, no pressure,” said my Dad.
He stood over the hammer rolling his sleeves up more. I swear to god I saw the hammer move and I quickly looked at Thor to see his face drop. Okay I’m not hallucinating. With much force Steve tried to lift it but he gave up. “Nothing.” Thor tried to laugh it off as Rogers sat back down. “It moved right?” Steve whispered to me and I nodded.
“Widow?” Bruce spoke up and everyone looked at Natasha. Who the fuck calls her Widow? “Oh, no no. That's not a question I need answered,” she said and leaned back, taking a sip of her beer.
“Y/n?” Steve looked at me and I got silent for a moment. “She can’t,” Thor quickly stepped in. “You're scared I would do it, huh?” I smirked at my brother. “Yes. So please give me some time to prepare.”
“All deference to the man who wouldn't be king, but it's rigged,” Dad spoke. “You bet your ass,” Clint barged in. “Steve, he said a bad language word,” Maria spoke and I just had to laugh. “Did you tell everyone about that?” Steve turned to Dad but he was quick to dodge the question.
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beevean · 8 months
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Your essays on castlevania and why the games outshine the Netflix version got me interested. While I’ve yet to see the entirety of castlevania nocturne, I can’t help but feel a growing sense that these characters deserve better. Like there’s something off with the castlevania references. There’s no real love in them.
And the action scenes are flashy and cool, but that’s as bits and not as a whole.
And I remember wondering how much netflixvania jumped the shark with a nobody cult or two trying to resurrect Dracula over and over again, until I read your explanation that Dracula and the belmonts are thematically forever bound to each other. In an eternal dance of life or death. Netflix just executed that theme in a way that feels…Netflix voltron-y. Like they’re out of ideas or are conflicted in what to write.
I didn’t even learn that the morning star has a soul connected to it until recently. Netflix could’ve explored that more!
Furthermore, if it’s true in game that elizabeth the vampire was Dracula’s niece, they could’ve explored that in the Netflix adaptation on how much are family ties innate to your nature! Like how the belmonts are tied to fighting and vampire slaying, especially against Dracula.
Final note, I wonder if there’s an exploration if a progeny adopted into the Belmont family can defeat Dracula or is that skill always tied to blood. The most I could think of an adopted progeny taking down Dracula is shanoa, and she’s an adopted sister tied to an organization after the belmonts vanished. Or maybe I missed something?
"There's no real love in them" yes, that's it. Nothing else needs to be added. Those shows are made with arrogance and spite in mind, and the Deats brothers and Adi Shankar can call themselves fans all they want, it's obvious that they start from a premise of "how can we improve on the stupid games?". (Warren Ellis was much more honest about his lack of care)
Eh, it wasn't even over and over. In Season 3 there was this cult who wanted to resurrect Dracula but didn't get anywhere close to it (because S3 was a waste of time, especially Trevor&Sypha's story), and in Season 4 Death managed to do it, but only to drive him even more mad by stitching him to Lisa so that he'd go on a rampage again and give Death souls to eat - Death working to bring Dracula back to life is a recurring element in the games, but because Death is Dracula's most loyal servant, not to use him as a pawn. I pointed out how this change devalues Dracula even further. And no, since Trevor did not kill Dracula himself, he let himself be killed by Alucard, the whole point of the cycle of death and rebirth officially doesn't exist in the Netflixverse. This is why Nocturne had to create a stupid Sun Thundercat who recycles Princess Luna's plan as the main antagonist.
(small correction: it's not the Morning Star specifically that has a soul in it, it's the Vampire Killer! The MS is basically an upgraded version of the VK, not a separate weapon as in the show)
The show has this ugly tendency to take minor characters and, instead of using their untapped potential, turn them into OCs out of convenience. Erzsébet was Dracula's niece who caused WWI? You can explain her tie to Dracula, or her desire to bring chaos to humanity! No, she's Sun Thundercat now. Olrox was a rat-like vampire who lived in his own quarters in Dracula's castle and could turn into a lizard? Who is he, why is Dracula allowing another vampire to live with him? Nah, he's an Aztec sex idol now. Drolta was a witch who served Erzsébet? Nice, give us an old magician to fight! No, she's Female Isaac now. Isaac himself was turned from a compelling, tragic and fun antagonist, if not on the stereotypical side, into a completely different character that ended up stealing another character's personality, and with a much more boring design to boot. And these OCs end up replacing the original minor characters, and fans fly in droves to them, while praising the show for "improving" the stupid source material :\
As for the last part: yes, it's blood magic. The Morris Clan (John Morris from Bloodlines, Johnatan Morris from Portrait of Ruin, and the unseen Quincy Morris from Dracula lmao) are related to the Belmont Clan, and they hold the VK from the 1800s to 1999, but it's then revealed that they can't use it too much or the soul inside will consume them: John died this way, and refused to teach his son how to use it. Maria Renard is also said to be a very distant relative of the Belmonts, although her accomplishments are played for laughs :P The three heroes with absolutely no ties to the Belmonts are Alucard, Hector and Shanoa, and all three defeat Dracula by using his own power against him: Alucard because he's his son, Hector because he was imbued with Dracula's magic when he learned Devil Forging, and Shanoa because she absorbed the Dominus glyphs which contained his remains.
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ecargmura · 8 months
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Ron Kamonohashi: Deranged Detective Episode 2 Review - The Impregnable Piggy Bank
Fun but useless trivia of the day: the word Kamonohashi is the Japanese word for ‘platypus’, which is why Kanetamaru Kamoo (Ron’s disguise) has a platypus mascot on his hat. I hope this helps? Anyways, I actually feel more invested in this episode’s mystery than the previous one because this one made me think a bit more than before.
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The mystery for this episode is about the case of missing money from a piggy bank that was never broken into. Two sisters reside in the house where the piggy bank was. The younger sister thinks it’s weird how there was less coins but the piggy bank wasn’t destroyed. If it was theft, why not settle for the dangling jewelry in the corner of the living room? Fortunately, what seemed to be a small, unimportant case for the police department ended up being connected to the bigger murder case Amamiya was chasing as the murder victim was the older sister’s stalker and she killed him with a piggy bank that was identical to the one the younger sister had. She bought the same piggy bank and tampered with the crime scene to avoid her guilt. Though, she could’ve just called the police and pleaded for her actions to be seen as self-defense.
Remember how reluctant Ron was when it came to solving cases last episodes? He comes into this episode like a kid asking for more candy after getting addicted to it. Or for a more ‘mature’ comparison, solving the previous episode’s case got Ron addicted like a drug addict and now he’s asking drug dealer Toto for more cases. It’s a complete 180 from last episode. He even has the magic power to change his clothes in a blink of an eye. Despite this, Ron is actually not supposed to be solving cases as he was expelled from a detective school and never got his license. He’s technically an illegal detective and it makes sense why the other title of this show is called “Forbidden Deductions” because Ron is solving mysteries with Toto illegally.
I do like how detectives work a bit different in this world than usual. In this universe, there’s a school called BLUE that trains aspiring detectives to be the absolute best and certifies them after they graduate. Ron was the best in his class and in the whole school during his time, but due to an incident, he was barred from getting his license and expelled from school. I think this makes this world a lot more interesting because there are higher stakes when it comes to solving cases here. It gives off the suspenseful feeling of “Will Ron get caught or not?” What would happen if Ron gets caught? Can he even be caught? I really like the pulling feel of this question. I really do wonder if solving cases with Ron will give the respect Toto deserves from his superiors.
I do wonder why Ron has those Geass-like mind control eyes. Is it something BLUE implanted onto him? Is it something that all detectives from there have? Is it due to him having a special blood lineage? It’s so mysterious. I think the biggest mystery is that those eyes are like arbiters in a way. They mind control people against Ron and the culprits’ wills. I’m most interested about their true purpose. Fortunately, Toto is there to save culprits from actually dying, which is a good thing.
I dislike the fact that Toto gets little respect from his boss Amamiya. Well, this is the beginning so I hope Toto gets the respect he deserves one day; I just hope Amamiya can give him that and not be a one-note sadist boss. I know that being a detective means being tough and strong-willed, which is why I can’t truly hate Amamiya for doing her job, but from her proper introduction in this episode alone, she didn’t really do anything to show that she’s a capable detective, given that she failed to connect the two cases together and overlooked the piggy bank case as something menial and unimportant to the point of handing it over to a subordinate she looks down on. I hope that she grows from this because it’d be a tiresome gag if she keeps looking down on Toto. I do think her simping for Ron was hilarious since no one would expect a hobo disbarred sleuth would be attractive enough for a femme fatale like her to fall for; though, contextually, it would make sense because it would be weird if Amamiya’s character to fall for someone like Totomaru. Sorry, Toto; I just cannot picture that. The unfortunate thing about Amamiya’s newfound crush on Ron is that a relationship between them won’t ever form because Ron is shaping himself to be either Totosexual or just case-sexual in the distant future; he's definitely leaning towards the latter more.
Now, I’m a bit worried now that BLUE is taking action. They give off an evil organization feel and one of their minions is now on the move. Will it happen next episode or will it drag on for a while? Given the episodic pacing for this show, I wouldn’t be surprised if this Tracking Instructor dude with the blue hair shows up next episode. The question is: what will he bring to the table for our duo?
I really like both opening and ending songs! The opening is peppy and jazzy while the ending song is soft and bright, making a good end for an intense mystery. Regarding the opening, I do love that we see Ron in different disguises like how he disguised himself in this episode. I do wonder who the girl with the pink hair is. She’s cute.
I was a bit on the edge of my seat with this episode’s mystery being a bit non-conventional. I like it! I can’t wait for more! Also, let me ask the important question: Ron Kamonohashi or Kanetamaru Kamoo? Who do you like more? (They’re the same person).
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thequietmanno1 · 8 months
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TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 91, Replies Part 2
1) “Yeah, yesh, what a luck this was not like, some hyper regeneration, can you imagine how much that would’ve been a problem? luckily AfO didn’t had that developed yet. (: “- Hood’s High-end form has some similarities to the Venom Symbiote, especially in the way his body mass grows and propagates to replace damage, so I’m assuming his power worked on a similar principle, without being a genuine ‘full reset’ button like Hyper Regeneration was, which is what AFO would have wanted. Guy wouldn’t just have wanted to be healed, he’d have wanted the damage to basically never have occurred in the first place.
2) “Hum… So is plan B to hold him back so Rappa and Mirko can go outside and get backup? Terrible plan my man, the police is still in the middle of the picnic, and they haven’t even taken their nap! Don’t be this heartless! Also, what would the police even be helpful here. … They are gonna call All Might, aren’t they?”- When Superman gets a call from Gotham to resolve Batman’s problems for him…
3) “Hey guys, just an idea, but you might want to use those prop guns against her”- They never anticipated an escapee who could pull off the most tricky evasive method: Jump Good.
4) “MIRKO PLEASE WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SCREAM THAT, YOU GAVE AWAY YOUR PLAN YOU COULD’VE BEEN HIT WITH A PROP GUN BY ACCIDENT! “- I’m gonna assume that was the guards yelling out to Hood to stop her, rather than he announcing her successful escape…or she did that to distract Hood and let Rappa step into his blindspot.
5) “Oh wow what the fuck is this now that I think about it, not even the High-end could pull something this absurd”- Pretty sure this was Hood’s original Quirk, but when added with Muscular’s Muscle-growing power it was a synergy that really allowed him to expand the reach of his Quirk’s potential, and his own body mass as well.
6) “Wait what? You mean that rappa was here this whole time?! Amazing, I would have never guessed it!”-
Teleports Behind You. “It’s extremely personal.”
7) “And I think the bunny is out of the bag there. F’s on the chat for Hood, he didn’t got down with the sickness”- And now Dr Might will be in the house to bring him down.
8) “I have… an unspeakable and immeasurable rage boiling inside of my chest cavity… Not because the author resorted to pulling the All Might card to deal with a problem he didn’t knew how to solve but because in-universe this is exactly what would be expected. This is the most canon-compliant action the characters took this entire arc And that fills me anger”- Furuhashi; sticking to canon when it will most annoy you, specifically.
9) “GASP! A BUNNY! FLYING! RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PICNIC! WHAT AN ABSURD!”- Now, bears intruding on a pic-a-nic, that’s to be expected.
10) “YEAH GUYS, WHAT A STRANGE SIGHT. I WONDER HOW THE FUCK YOU DIDN’T SAW HER GOING IN, SINCE THERE’S ONLY ONE ENTRANCE APPARENTLY”- They were all on their smoke break, and the clouds of cigarette smoke hid her from view.
11) “Yeah. Seems like we’re also approaching the end of the arc. And All might’s gonna show up in a few seconds to save the day, but considering Hood shows up later, I can already assume someone’s gonna tail it from here the moment the muscles show up. And how that connects with the current conflict with Koichi back in the present day is… … “- This was a cool arc, and gave us some fun cameos and hints as to how Knuckles turned out the way he did, but with his exclusion from the present narrative, it does feel super-disconnected to the present-day events with Koichi, save how he’s now dealing with a warped vision of Knuckles’ past legacy.
@thelreads
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atla-suki · 2 years
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dunno whether you've talked about this before but like feelings on Katara saying "you didn't love her like I did" and then literally not apologising ever (and the implication that by now Sokka is used to it and doesn't believe he deserves better)
hellooo!!
i have LOTS of thoughts on that scene. the whole episode, actually.
i understand it was a zuko-centric moment of the series. i understand that it was meant to be an episode dedicated to katara and zuko and their connection/relationship (and lack thereof pre-southern raiders). BUT i just hate how sokka was thrown to the side.
the show starts with sokka and katara. above everything, it’s ALWAYS been sokka and katara. but we never actually get a lot of info on either of them pre-atla. we know they lost their mother young (and katara witnessed it), we know their father left (and it impacted sokka largely), we know sokka felt like he was supposed to be the ‘man’ of the village, we know katara washes sokka’s socks? see what i mean… there’s not much to work with. so when we DO get more info on a crucial part of their childhoods, why is it focused solely on katara?
it’s established very early on that kya’s death is significant to katara and that she hasn’t been able to move on even after all this time. it’s hinted that sokka is generally less caught up on his mother’s death than katara. it’s implied that this is because his father told him to be strong and be a man and protect katara/the tribe. BUT we get some insight into the impact of kya’s death on sokka in ‘The Runaway’ - (WHICH KATARA HEARD HIM SAY, BTW. makes her comment in ‘The Southern Raiders’ a little more harsh…) it’s all been said before that sokka grieves differently than katara and her “you didn’t love her the way i did” comment was outta pocket for that matter, etc etc wbk. i won’t cover that again.
the thing is, i actually DON’T have an issue with her comment in that scene. sure it’s insensitive and wrong, but i completely get it. she’s angry, she’s hurt, she’s confused as to why her own brother isn’t supporting her in a matter regarding their mother. she lashed out. i do it to my own sister all the time. but my issue lies with the fact that the writers didn’t do ANYTHING to address the scene later on.
a large part of atla is growth and healing (see: aang going from a goof to a fully realised avatar; zuko’s entire arc; sokka learning and growing out of his misogynistic beliefs, etc…) so it feels wrong to just leave sokka and katara’s argument (is it an argument? anyways yk The scene) hanging without proper closure. it didn’t even have to be a full apology scene if they didn’t wanna add it - katara could’ve just had a throwaway line like, “i have to go talk to sokka” or something simple like that. also quick side note WHY did aang rush up to katara on the dock at the end of the ep??? nothing that happened even concerns him. it shoulda been sokka.
ANYWAYS yeah an apology was definitely needed somewhere in the episode. or just like.. more sokka towards the end. idk about sokka but if MY sibling went to avenge our mother’s death i think i’d like to know the outcome of everything that happened, yk?
the show starts with sokka and katara. above everything, it’s ALWAYS been sokka and katara. but they seem to forget this during ‘The Southern Raiders’ for some reason. the episode is great, but it could’ve been stronger with more scenes between katara and sokka - ESPECIALLY if they included an apology scene.
also one more thing: i think it’s insane that sokka was supposedly getting laid while zuko was planning to help katara to hunt down their mother’s killer like how do u put these two scenes back-to-back wth-
anyways thx for the ask xoxo i don’t know if i even made a proper point here but have fun reading my spiel.
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eternal-nyx · 9 months
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How could something this beautiful, be wrong?
As a member of multiple minority communities (disabled, neurodivergent, queer, etc.), I often surround myself with like minded folk who I can connect with deeper. This unfortunately means that sometimes, I tend to “forget to remember” that people outside of my circles still exist.
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Last night, as I lay in bed in the arms of my fiancé, I had one of these “surreal” moments. We were laying in bed after a long and hard day. She was exhausted from work and chores and almost asleep. I was laid across her breasts and shoulders, holding her head closely and massaging her hair. Her hand clasped my wrist and her thumb drew circles on my hand as she drifted. As I started to drift into sleep myself, I felt my body grow heavier and melt into hers. We were one in that moment, perfectly blended and sharing a moment of love, bliss, peace, and hushed whispers of sweet nothings and affirmations of love. A rare form of intimacy that just forms on its own and and builds this intense, emotional moment in time. I smiled in my half-sleep state and pulled her tighter. For awhile I just existed and let myself feel her warmth. I drew outlines of our bodies in my head with my eyes closed and could not find where she ended and I began. I was surrounded in warmth and comfort and love. I could’ve passed peacefully in that moment.
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I kissed her shoulder and thought, “How could anyone think something this beautiful, could be bad? This woman saved me from a 10 year abusive relationship. She helped me and my 4 year old escape. She provided me a warm and safe place to grow into myself and explore and become me again. She encourages me everyday to grow and treats me with such gentleness. She provides a guiding hand, and a comforting shoulder. She lets me stumble and fall and mess up and work on myself, but never let’s me fail. She’s always there, ready to lift me up and put me back on my feet. She’s shown me more love and acceptance than anyone in my life ever has. Our relationship is the healthiest I have ever been in. The way we communicate, there is no room for misunderstandings or arguments. We talk about everything, from the hard, to the easy, to the fun. Hell, one of our relationship “motto’s” that we say to each other is “the good, the bad, and the ugly. Forever and Always.” She is my rock. She saved my life and showed me what it means to live for ME again. I have happiness and security in my relationship. I have individuality and freedom that I haven't felt in over a decade. This is true happiness. So how on earth could this be wrong?”
I pushed the thoughts aside and gave myself fully to the moment and soon drifted to sleep in the arms of my girl. But I woke up with that one thought still on my mind. “How could anyone say this is wrong?”
Logically I understand of course. I understand the views of others, and cultures, religion, etc. But mentally I just can’t seem to grasp it.
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neoculturetravesty · 3 years
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Rough but soft
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Image taken from here.
Pairing: Johnny x Reader Genre: smut, pwp, romance, angst Warnings: 18+, soft dom Johnny, oral (female receiving), protected sex, rough sex, fingering, anus rubbing (female receiving), mild choking, hickeys, lots and lots of angst. Reader wants Johnny to have at her but she also wants so much more. Readers comes with lots of self-doubt, baggage and insecurities. Word Count: 8.2k+ words of straight up filth and angst aka my fav combo
Summary: You’re so tired of trying to find a man who would understand the deep complexities of what you need, sleeping with him, being utterly unsatisfied and then spending the next few weeks avoiding him because you were too ashamed. You were tired of baring your soul, your body, the inner workings of your mind to yet another man who couldn’t satisfy you. So when you meet Johnny Suh, you know right away that he would be the man that makes all your wet dreams come true. But you shouldn’t want him. He’s an idol, and you work for him. You have no right to want him, to lust after him... and you definitely have no right to catch feelings for him.
A/N: This one is for all my Johnny stans! I didn’t plan for this one-shot to get so long but ugh, once I started writing, all my demons were unleashed. Hope you like it! 
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You could’ve sworn your apartment was the hottest it had ever been. You didn’t remember messing with the thermostat or closing any windows. You weren’t exactly dressed warmly, either. You were just in your underwear with a pretty spaghetti sleeved top on. Perhaps the heat had more to do with the fact that you were sat on the lap of a man you really liked or the fact that the two of you had been furiously making out for the past ten minutes. 
Johnny’s hands were all over you. They were in your hair, pulling you towards him, angling your head every which way to get more purchase with his tongue. Then his hands were on the small of your back pushing up into your top to feel your bare skin. And when his hands had enough of the skin there, they were up and down the curve of your legs that were curled up into him as you sat side saddle. While your pants laid discarded on the floor, his clothes were still fully on but you supposed there was some use for that by how strongly you were clutching onto the lapel of his jacket. 
Your brain was so fuzzy with the scent of him that you couldn’t even remember what had brought this on. The last thing you remembered was Johnny showing up at your door unannounced, a couple of bottles of soju in hand. Your past few meets had been similarly unplanned, so for convenience’s sake and definitely not anything else, you just went ahead and gave him the code of your apartment. Yes, it was way too early on in the relationship--if you could even call it that, whatever the two of you were doing. You could sense that he was taken aback by it. Whether he was moved by it, or whether to be polite, he had pulled you into him and kissed you.
Now the soju laid abandoned on the table as you drank one another in. He kissed you deeply now, as you sat on him on the couch, like he had been thirsty for days and your tongue quenched him. He was taking the lead in this unrestrained makeout session. But you knew that. He knew that. It’s what you had wanted. It’s what you had asked of him.
You were really putting yourself out there, sharing your deepest secrets and unholy desires with a man you weren’t supposed to be with. But the moment you had met Johnny, you could tell that he felt your energy and you certainly felt his. You knew right away what the both of you had wanted from one another, even if you didn’t say it. You knew it in the way he would entrap you with his gaze when you talked to him. You knew it in the way his arm would pull you in when someone passed by you. You knew it in the way he would let his touch linger any time his hands accidentally brushed against you. It had taken a few dates for you to get to this point, but now this… this was the point of no return. You had to be brave and finally get what you had always craved; or chicken out and go back to being unsatisfied as ever from yet another relationship.
Other men did not give you what you wanted, what you truly wanted; which was to feel a controlled loss of control, not just of the body but also of the mind. You wanted someone who could, quite crassly, hold you down and have at you, but also whisper sweet nothings in your ear while he did so. You wanted a cerebral connection of the souls and you wanted an animalistic gratification of the bodies at the same time. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. You were so tired of the cycle--of trying to find a man you thought would understand the deep complexities of what you needed, sleeping with him, being utterly unsatisfied and then spending the next few weeks avoiding him because you were too ashamed. You were tired of baring your soul, your body, the inner workings of your mind to yet another man who couldn’t satisfy you. 
When you first met Johnny, you knew right away that this man had what it takes to make all your wet dreams come true. Like his presence validated all that you felt without having to use the words. You felt it in your gut, even when you hadn’t been with him. Your gut could very well have been wrong, because God knows you’ve been wrong so many times before. But your feeling was strong this time... and you just had to find out. So you had approached him.
You knew you were being reckless by being with Johnny in this way. He was, obviously, a famous person, but also--you worked for him. You were a young professional who had finally landed a job in a big company. If someone were to find out, that would mean the end of your career. Johnny could possibly get away with an apology letter that his team would help him curate. But you would be done for. You knew it was risky the first time you slept with him. You knew it the second time. But now as you met for the third time, hungrily kissing one another, you knew things were different. Because, finally, the two of you had been honest about how you wanted one another.
Over the past couple of weeks, you had finally started to communicate in words what the two of you had already felt in one another’s energy. He admitted that he craved you in a much coarser way than he had let on the first couple of times. And you had told him about all your indecent fantasies and how wilfully you wanted to be used, to be claimed, to be made to feel something. 
“It’s always the quiet ones.” Johnny had chuckled back then and you supposed he was right. That’s how people saw you. The quiet one, the determined one, the one that gets her work done on time, the one that never breaks the rules. Onlooking men thought you were some sort of a righteous Virgin Mary because of the innocence on your face. Part of you wondered if being with Johnny was a rebellion against all those men who had ever put you on that unwarranted pedestal. But you also knew that it wasn’t. Because you didn’t just want a body to unleash your lecherous demons on. You wanted it with him, with Johnny, with the man who was slowly lighting your fire, no matter how much you told yourself that it was a bad idea.
That man in question was now softly panting in your face, because his lips had finally unlatched themselves from yours for the first time in 10 minutes. He smiles at you and then buries himself in the junction between your shoulder and neck, kissing and sucking and talking.
“I’ve been thinking about you all day. I couldn’t get any work done because I kept thinking about you.” He says into your neck, sucking down on the skin and you knew he was marking you because it makes you moan out. There is a smile on his face as he pulls back to look at you. He takes your hand in his and leads it to the inside of his thigh, making you feel his hardness through the rough fabric of his pants.
“You feel that? I’ve been like this all day thinking about you.” he says while you look at him with your lips parted. He kisses you again, making you lean back, feeling his heat build under you. 
“I want you to feel the same. I want to make you feel exactly what you do to me.” He says and now his warm hand is slipping into the front of your underwear and you feel the quickening of your heartbeat. You begin softly moaning before he’s even done anything, simply from the anticipation. But then his fingers are flush against your warmth, rubbing up and down, no purpose yet, just feeling.
He’s close to you, too close, you can feel the heat coming off his face on your own skin, you can feel his breath fanning against you. His lips are close enough that they brush against yours as he coos at you “My pretty girl is so wet for me.” The heel of his palm is steady on your clit, pressing down but not giving you as much friction as you need, while his fingers move over and between your folds, feeling your warmth, your wetness, spreading it around as if to see how slick he can make it. His lips have found their way to the base of your throat now and he’s kissing, he’s nipping and he’s sucking and fuck your life because it is turning you on so much you feel like you would spontaneously combust. You’re melting against him at the same time you’re tensing and Johnny can feel your want grow on his fingers. He pulls back to see his work on your skin.
“Mmm, are you going to spend the next week hiding this away, baby?” He asks while his palm keeps cupping your sex, fingers feeling you up, overheating your flesh. It’s rude, the way his hand is down your underwear, the way he is marking you, the way he is talking to you. But your skin is on fire and you’re putty in his arms and fuck, you wouldn’t mind if he were ruder.
“Let me mark you where it would be easier to hide.” He says sweetly and suddenly, his hand that was cradling the small of your back is at the delicate strap of your top and his fingers are looping at your neckline, gently pulling down till he’s made your breast bare and he’s bowing into it, sucking on the first spot of skin his lips could find. Your own lips part and your fingers find his hair as he makes quick work of you, pulling away with a wet, vulgar sound, smiling down at the growing redness on your smooth skin. He blows on it, making you shiver.
“There. Fuck, baby, you look so pretty wearing my marks.” he sighs and then fixes your top over your shoulder so you’re covered again, and somehow, that chivalrous act makes you more bashful than being exposed did. His lips are back on yours and his arm is behind your neck, supporting you. His fingers in your underwear are becoming bolder, circling your needy hole, loving how the more he rubs it, the more you leak out your need onto him. He enjoys having that control over you for a moment, breaking the kiss just so he can watch the contorts of your face as he continues his slow torture. But seeing you like this stirs something more feral in him and suddenly his hand goes lower and starts to rub you where it feels forbidden. You freeze. 
For a moment, your breath hitches in your throat and your eyes shoot open. Fuck, you can’t think. This man has actually put you on your wit’s end. He’s rubbing you there like he knew how you’d react and he just wanted to have this power over you. A display of his claim over your body. You suddenly feel impossibly shy, though the emotion is too mild to truly describe the storm that’s building in you. Your mind is racing, wondering fuck, fuck fuck, do you want this? Do you really want this? Was this something you had talked about with him? Fuck, you can’t remember. But if you’re not sure, why the fuck is it making you so fucking wet?
His lips pressing into your forehead bring you out of your commotion. “Don’t worry, pretty girl, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” he says gently, like he read your mind and Jesus Christ, you almost come from the striking contrast between his soft words, his nurturing kiss and the absolutely filthy action of his fingers on your pucker, rubbing not to pleasure but to feel, to claim, almost as if to say ‘Look, I can touch you here.’
“Johnny, please, do something.” you plead at him because frankly, you’ve had enough. Now you just want him to rip away at your remaining clothes and have at it, to have you, to fuck you like he was too polite to do the first couple of times.
But one thing you’ve learnt in the time you’ve been working together (and also the time you’ve spent under him between the sheets) is that Johnny is a patient man. He’s smiling when he looks at you and his voice is so caring in contrast to his presence when he says “Does my baby want more?”
“Yes, please, Johnny, please.” you’re pulling onto his jacket because your hands can’t find purchase anywhere else and you’re whining because you’re needy and the anticipation has been building up for a couple of weeks and you’ve had enough. You want him and you want him now.
Thankfully, he doesn’t tease you any longer because he withdraws his hand from your underwear, hooks his arm under your knees whilst the other cradles your shoulders and he’s lifting you off bridal style and making his way to your room. It blows your mind how Johnny can be filthy and romantic at the same time. He sets you down politely and you prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him as he takes off his jacket. You’d be lying if you said that Johnny simply taking his jacket off wasn’t the hottest thing you’d ever seen. You had yourself a fine man in front of you and he had made it tonight’s mission to please you. Your eyes were hooded as you looked at him lustfully. He notices and sinks to his knees, pulling your legs till you were on the edge of the bed.
“My girl’s been waiting for this, hasn’t she?” he says and peppers kisses on the inside of your thigh before he loops his fingers around the band of your underwear and slowly slides it down your legs. He looks at you lying bare for him, basically nude and he inhales. “What a pretty sight.” he mutters and then his lips finally go straight for your clit, his tongue rolling over it and over it, his hands holding your legs apart and you let out a deep exhale because yes, yes, yes, this is what you wanted. He’s wasted no time because you told him you needed more and he was all too happy to oblige. So you lay back into the sheets, taking deep breaths, being fascinated by the rise and fall of your own chest. Johnny had learnt early on that you were the quiet type in bed, but tonight, he was determined to make you moan more than you had before. 
You let your head fall back and your eyes close as you feel his warm tongue roll generously over your nub, his mouth servicing you till your hips are grinding against him. The need builds and now you want an erotic visual to help you along so you lift up and tug on his shirt and he understands because he straightens up and pulls it off of him. You see the beautiful caramel planes of his toned chest; your mouth waters. He’s hovering over you now, kissing you with lips that are still covered in your scent till you’re crawling back into the bed. He adjusts your head onto the pillows, making sure you’re comfortable which tells you that he’s not nearly done. 
He puts another pillow under your hips and settles between your legs once more. He holds your gaze as he lowers himself and slowly spits down onto your clit. He looks at you, as if challenging you to stop him and uses the pad of his thumb to rub the slobber around. The sight is as vulgar as it is titillating and suddenly you find yourself thanking the heavens above that you found Johnny Suh. 
“Does that feel good, baby?” he asks with a voice like honey and you look down at him.
“Yes. More, Johnny, please, I want more.” you tell him because fuck, you need it bad, and he nods. He brings his hand to your opening then and gently rubs till he is covered in your slick, then carefully eases his middle finger into you. You’re impossibly wet and he likes it. He wants you to be this turned on. 
He starts to move his finger, slowly fucking you with it then brings his mouth hot on your clit, licking deep, luxuriously strokes onto it. “Is this better, baby?” he asks but you reply with a pent out moan, your hands instinctively going to clutch your breasts, squeezing them through your top that isn’t doing a very good job at covering you. 
Johnny watches and he is pleased with himself. Pleased that he is making you this way, that you’re getting what you want from him. You both shared in your greed of a very similar sexual palette. Lately, you had been open to him about it and Johnny was so grateful to have met you. It turned him on to be with a woman who was so in tune with her needs. It turned him on more to know that he was the one fulfilling them. 
“More, Johnny, please… faster…” you guide him and he hurries to add another finger inside you and suddenly you’re smiling wide because it feels so fucking good. Your hands go to his hair, tugging on it, pressing his head into you even more and you’re grinding up into his face like a harlot, because frankly speaking, you don’t remember being this fucking horny in a good while. You can’t bring yourself to be self-conscious in this moment because it feels so good, so decadent, so freeing, and you can’t tell if you’re being louder than usual.
Johnny can. Because he’s not stopping and now he’s moaning into your slick warmth and his entire mouth is sweet with your taste and he knows you’re close so he only lifts up briefly to say “Come for me, baby.” and you’re pulling his hair, biting your lip, digging one heel so far into the mattress your leg is numb and you’re coming apart on his fingers. Johnny doesn’t stop through it, prolonging your orgasm while your entire body tenses, then comes to life before you let out a deep, happy exhale and Johnny finally lets go, rubbing the insides of your thighs to calm you. 
You grin at him and sit up to kiss him, your fingers splayed behind his neck, kissing him in gratitude for making you feel good, tasting your nectar on his lips, then rubbing your palms on his firm chest. You look down towards what could only be his growing need and your fingers fumble to undo his fly. You begin to get on your hands and knees but he stops you.
“Johnny, let me--” you begin wanting to reciprocate the favor, looking up at him but his expression makes your voice get caught in your throat. His eyes are hooded, dark, lustful.
“No. I want to be inside you. I want to fuck you, right here in your pussy.” he said shortly, and you think you might die. How could those curt, pornographic words turn you on so much? It’s not like you hadn’t heard them before from several other men. Perhaps it was the fact that this particular man had only ever spoken to you with polite respect before. To hear such filthy words from his handsome mouth was an experience you were never going to forget. You wanted him with all the heat that was building up between your legs. But, also... there was something else that you wouldn’t allow yourself to think. That you wanted him because perhaps, you were falling for him, no matter how much you tried to stop yourself.
Johnny reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He finds a condom and holds the foil between his teeth while he gets off the bed to rid himself of his pants. Suddenly, and without any sort of a warning, your heart begins to sink. 
You don’t know what it is, but while you sit there watching Johnny strip himself, you feel something deep in the pit of your stomach. You don’t recognize this emotion… this sinking feeling. Is it despair? It can’t be, but it comes close. Is it fright? No, that definitely wasn’t it. You try to think back to all the times you’ve had this feeling in your belly and finally, you identify it. This feeling felt a lot like heartbreak.
You couldn’t understand what was going on inside your head. It was as if behind your crazed sexual want for Johnny in your conscious, your subconscious was fighting you with another, more pressing craving. Like watching him pull out that condom had confirmed some sort of a fear, but you simply couldn’t put your finger on which one it was.
You’re confused. All this man did was extract a condom from his wallet. Why did that break your heart? Shouldn’t you be happy that for once in your sexual escapades, a man had been the one to be prepared? Shouldn’t you be relieved that the man you were sleeping with was putting your safety first? Then what was this strange feeling in the pit of your stomach? You’re still pondering it over whilst Johnny rolls the culpable rubber onto himself and makes his way to you. And when his lips are on yours again, you finally work it out. Your traitor mind had had a thought that broke through the giddiness of your happy orgasm and put a stinging doubt in your heart: ‘He brought a condom because he only came here for sex.’ 
Johnny notices a change in your demeanor by the way your kiss is less present. He pulls back and strokes the top of your head. “Are you sure you still want it that way, baby? We can go easy if you’ve changed your mind.” He kisses you again as if to tell you that he means it.
“I don’t want you to go easy. I want you to show me how far you can take it.” you say resoundingly. You’re not sure why you’ve said this despite the tempest in your mind. Maybe your fucking libido is betraying you again. 
He looks at you for a moment as if trying to read your face, then kisses your lips once more. “Okay, baby. But remember, you can tell me to stop any time, okay?” he assures you and you’re reminded that he really has the patience of a saint. Because his cock is thick and angry with want yet he’s still taking the time to communicate the logistics of what you’re about to do. 
“I will.” you nod. “Johnny, please… just… just fuck me, please.” You beg because you’ve decided… this is what you want. You want it this way at least once, because you won’t be able to stand not knowing. If your heart breaks at the end of this, so be it. You were used to it. And if this would be the last you would see of Johnny, you wanted to make it count.
He doesn’t need telling twice because now that you’re begging, his mind is clouded with the need to own you. So he pushes your legs back into your chest, laying you bare and open for him. You feel vulnerable in this position, too vulnerable, especially with what your mind is doing to you. Usually, it would take you some time to build up to this stance but he wants to start here, where he’s in control and that’s the shit you signed up for. Your breath is quickening in your chest from nervous anticipation and you cry out when Johnny makes his first, unforgiving stroke straight into your core. 
Your eyes close and you’re not sure if you moaned out from pain, pleasure, frustration, emotion, or everything rolled into one. Johnny stills, bracing himself on the backs of your thighs. His own eyes are closed as well and you’re both getting used to the sensation, the fullness, the tightness. He exhales, and brings his lips to your forehead and then to your lips and then he stays there.
His left hand keeps holding onto your leg but his right hand creeps up your body till it softly closes around your throat. You feel the effect of this simple action in your core and in the way it squeezes around him, making him hiss.
“I’m going to fuck you now, okay baby?” he says to prepare you and you nod and suddenly he’s slamming into you and it’s pulled such an infernal keen out of you that you’re sure this is it. This is what you’ve always wanted, this is the feeling you’ve been chasing all your life. Your head had rolled to its side, your cheek pressing into the pillow to absorb the intensity you feel while Johnny is hovering over you, hand braced around your neck, pumping into you right from the start.
Your body is jolting up in time with his thrusts, your breasts lewdly moving under your top. Johnny is looking down at you in wonder, timing his movements to his grunts and watching your face through all the emotions. It’s too much too soon and your hands are flying meaninglessly to grip at something, something that would anchor you because fuck, Johnny has set a pace that you can’t possibly match right from the start. You try to grip at the sheets, or the pillow under your hips but you finally settle on Johnny’s arms. You’re pulling at him as if you want this to end, as if you’re telling him to stop but you don’t want him to stop. You never want him to stop.
“Is this what you wanted, babygirl? Is this how you wanted to be fucked?” Johnny asks as he keeps slamming into you. Why the fuck did it hurt so good? You usually liked there to be a build up, to have it start low and slow and build to it’s crescendo. So how come you were allowing this man to use your body like this and how come you never wanted this moment to end?
“Yes, yes, yes, Johnny, please… don’t stop, don’t stop…” the sound of your own voice shocks you, almost like you’re having an out of body experience and you’re actually dismayed by how manic you sound. Your voice is thick with lust, it is breathless, your pussy is the wettest it has ever been because you can feel your own slick running down your cleft. You can feel Johnny stirring places inside you you weren’t sure existed. His own moans have picked up and his hand around your throat has tightened, as if he were truly using it to anchor himself.
“Can I go faster, baby?” He asks with a strained voice and you take no time in answering “Yesss!” even though your eyebrows knit together from how much this is already.
His eyes close and he bares his teeth, almost like he was in pain and was trying to absorb it and then he lays over you, his head is by your shoulder while his hand never leaves your neck and suddenly, he’s moaning out, going faster, fucking you into the mattress.
The carnal sounds of your skins slapping and Johnny’s deep moans probably mask the fact that you’re crying out. Your hands are around Johnny’s wide back, your head is pressing into his shoulder, you’re clinging onto him with everything you have… you’re almost hanging onto him while he fucks you down, going so fast you feel lightheaded.
“Johnny please, I need to come.” you whimper and you’re not sure if you’re sobbing or not.
“No, no, baby, just let me go a bit longer.” he whines into your neck like he was in heaven and never wanted to leave. So you take deep breaths, you try to lay back and let Johnny have at it, give him what he needs because he was giving you what you needed. But his moans are hot in your neck, his weight is luxurious over your body, his length is so good inside you that you can’t really hold out any longer, no matter how much you’re trying to let him have his time.
“Johnny, please, I need to come or I will die.” you all but growl at him. You’ve never heard your voice sound like that but you can’t bring yourself to care.
He pulls back and then brings one hand to the top of your head, cradling it, stroking it. “Look at me, baby.”
You try, you really try but he’s giving you so much pleasure, it feels almost sinful to take it with eyes wide open but his hand on your neck has come up to grab at your jaw, holding your chin.
“No, no, no, baby, don’t hide from me. Look at me. I’m not going to let you come if you don’t look at me.” he says and now he’s using his words to own you, too, not just his body and this doesn’t help the matter. You get so fucking turned on that you want your release now and you realize that the only way you’re going to get it is if you obey. That thought alone is as profane as it is freeing.
So you look at him, and you’re worried about how wanton you look, how disheveled you look, how disoriented you look. But he’s holding your head prisoner, grabbing your chin, cradling the crown of your head, looking down at you so tenderly while he fucks into you.
He pecks your lips romantically and says “Come for me now, pretty girl.” and you finally meet your sweet, sweet relief. You’re whining, you’re panting, you’re frowning, every single muscle in your body is tensing against him, but you dare not look away. You don’t even realize how deep your fingertips are digging into both his biceps while you come on his cock and he moves in you through it all, holding your gaze. 
“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you...” he keeps assuring you, stroking your head while you shake and quiver under him.
It’s the first time you’ve done this, looked at your partner through your orgasm, being made to keep your eyes open just to connect with him in a moment of complete and utter vulnerability. It is godless. It is liberating. It is the most erotic thing you’ve ever done.
You didn’t realize you were straining your neck till your head falls back into the pillows and you feel the tension subside. You feel spent and you thank the heavens above that Johnny has stilled in you. In your euphoria, you didn’t register whether Johnny got to finish or not. He’s kissing you in a way that is--dare you say it? So loving. You push that thought away to let your mind ponder over something else: damn, Johnny Suh is a talented man. He’s smiling when he looks at you and kisses you deep.
“You look so beautiful when you come for me like that.” He strokes the side of your face sweetly and then his hands are tugging your top off of you, making you completely exposed to him. The hickey he gave you earlier is blooming now and he hums deeply in his chest as he sees it. 
“You need a matching one here.” he says and begins to mark you on the other side, but it doesn’t extract quite the same reaction from you as the first one had done because you’re too spent. Johnny doesn’t seem to mind because he’s letting you lay back as he kneads at your breasts, tongue circling over your peaks. You lazily run your fingers in his hair. He comes up and kisses the side of your face.
“Are you okay, baby?” he asks kindly and you nod, pulling his head into a slow kiss as your answer. 
“Mmm, okay, good. Because I’m not done with you yet.” he says in between kisses and that’s when you realize he’s still hard. So he hadn’t, in fact, finished. 
He brings his fingers to your clit and circles gently but you jump away from his touch, grabbing at his wrist. “No, I don’t think I can take that anymore.” you tell him desperately and he takes mercy on you. 
“Then flip over for me.” He pulls out of you carefully and it’s then that you realize how swollen you are. You’re going to be sore tomorrow, you know it. When you take too long, he grabs at your waist, turning you on your belly and swats at your ass. You gasp, more at the sound of the impact than the impact itself and then your motivation is back. You want to please your man. You want him to come for you. 
Johnny takes a pillow and places it vertically and lays you on top of it, giving you something to hold onto. It feels soft and comfortable. He’s been chivalrous so far. He’s been taking care of you and so he feels like he’s earned his keep. He can have you any way he wants. So he spreads your cheeks with both hands and licks at your hole a few times, just to make sure you’re still wet enough for what he’s about to do. He takes his hardness in his hands and lays himself on top of you carefully, not with his entire weight, though… he’s still supporting himself on his free arm that’s on your side. He rubs his tip against you a few times and you gasp with how swollen and sensitive you feel.
“Ready, baby?” he says in your ear and you can hear him so much more intimately in this position. He listens for your approval and then he pushes into you so fast, it has you yelping, it has your chest lifting off the pillow you’ve been hugging, it has you panicking, saying
“Johnny, wait, wait, wait, wait, please…” your sentence ends in more gasping sounds of discomfort. Johnny snakes an arm under you, holding onto your shoulders and his lips are on your temple, kissing over and over.
“Shh… baby… shhh, it’s me, it’s only me…” he reassures you and you know in your heart he’s never going to hurt you, but you simply couldn’t have held back your visceral reaction. He feels it, feels the anxiety in your body because he’s easing your head into the crook of his elbow and his lips are kissing at your temple and your shoulder so tenderly, you feel like you’re going to cry. “I’m going to go slow, okay?” he tells you softly. He cradles you with his arm that’s around your shoulders and snakes his other arm under you, his hand splaying out over your abdomen. He pulls you up into him, kissing your skin repeatedly to communicate care and then he starts moving into you, slow.
You whimper, but there is no pain now, only pleasure. You’re biting your lip because somehow it still feels intense, even at this pace. Rough or soft, this man was making you feel things you had only ever fantasized about. ‘Is it always going to be like this?’ you wonder, but you stop yourself. You didn’t have the luxury to have such thoughts because there wasn’t going to be another time. The thought has tears stinging in your eyes and you hide your face in Johnny’s forearm that’s encasing your chest. 
Thankfully, it works because Johnny is cooing in your ear again “Does it feel good now, baby?” and it does, fuck, it does, but you don’t want him to be this nice if it’s going to make you have such treacherous thoughts. So you say,
“Faster. I want it hard.”
Johnny turns your head with his hand so he can look at you when he asks “Are you sure, baby?” 
You nod and while he’s not totally convinced, it’s what you’ve asked. It’s what you’d been asking the past couple of weeks. So he has to oblige. He strengthens his cradling arms and pulls you into him tighter as if to buckle you up and then he lifts his hips and starts moving into you faster and you hear the slapping of his skin on yours once again. 
His forearm moves higher from the planes of your chest to your neck and suddenly, he’s holding you in a headlock, and even if he’s not applying any pressure, it’s enough to make you moan. His breaths are more labored now and so he talks.
“Fuck, Y/N… I think about you all the time. All I ever do is think about you. Did you know that?” he groans right in your ear and your heart swells. You feel hopeful again, like you were before he had pulled the condom out. Your moan comes out in a broken laugh, like a sound of relief but you’re pleading at him again.
“Faster, please, please…” you beg and he wants to give you everything so he lays his entire weight on top of you and really pins you down. It takes a lot of effort, but he wants to please you and soon he manages to build a rhythm that’s so impossibly fast that you feel nothing but him, hear nothing but him, think nothing but him. You don’t realize that you’re chanting his name over and over, you don’t realize that you’re pulling onto his forearm around your neck as tight as you can, you don’t realize that you’re writhing so much under him that you’ve exploded on him, you don’t realize that you’re not falling for this man. You had pretty much already fallen for him.
“Ahh… Y/N…” he gasps and he’s said something else as well, but the ringing in your ears made it difficult to hear it.
You feel the absence of him when he pulls out of you abruptly and he’s sitting up, urgently stroking himself, groaning as he finally finds his own release. 
A moment of stillness hangs in the air. Like the calm after a hurricane. The telling sounds of your impieties have ended, leaving only your breaths in their wake.
Johnny leans over you, combing your hair away from your face as if to check on you as you lay on your stomach unmoving. He kisses your cheek, then strokes the spot tenderly with the backs of his fingers. Your eyes close because you don’t know what’s going to happen now. Johnny moves away, sitting on the edge of the bed to discard the condom and you sneak a peek at him. You watch the muscles in his broad back protrude and you miss him already. He lifts off and walks away for a moment and your heart yearns for him. You wonder what it would be like to wake up to him next to you. You close your eyes again because his words from earlier are still ringing in your ears ‘I think about you all the time.’ They sounded so sincere, though men would say whatever you needed to hear during sex. But they came from him, and he’s never made an empty promise.
You feel the warm wetness of a washcloth being carefully dabbed on your skin, between your legs, over your sex and suddenly your heart is so full. He’s softly turning you around and easing you into a shirt he probably found in your closet. How could you not fall for such a man?
“Come here.” his voice says and you open your eyes to see that he’s laid down again, wearing only his boxers and he’s pulling you into his chest. You lay your head over his heart and listen to it thrum in his chest. This moment is surreal and you can’t help but feel like this is where you belong, and that feeling is solidified when you feel his arms wrap around you, his lips on the crown of your head. You’d never had afterglow feel this sweet, perhaps because you’d never had sex that felt this good. This is what you had wanted all your life. This feeling right here. No one had understood your needs better than this man. Johnny knew perfectly how to take you rough but soft. To make it coarse but sweet. To make you feel used but safe. To make you feel docile yet liberated. And he had told you that he thought about you all the time. You feel a smile grow on your lips as they pressed against his chest. This moment felt absolutely perfect.
“I have to get back to the dorms.”
And there it was. 
You turn your head to the sound of his voice and he slowly sits up. “I’ve got an early morning schedule tomorrow and I don’t want to have to explain why I didn’t come in with the guys.” He says as he gets off the bed and starts dressing himself. You nod because, well. What did you expect? You stand up as well, picking up your discarded underwear and sliding it on, keeping your back to him because you couldn’t stand to see his face.
“I’m going to see you there, anyway, right?” He asks and you try to keep your face as devoid of emotion as possible.
“Right.” You reply because you don’t trust yourself to say anything else. You feel like your chest has been hollowed, like someone has sucker punched you in the belly. You had promised yourself you wouldn’t hope. You had told yourself that you just wanted to see if Johnny could give you what you liked in bed. That was all. He hadn’t promised you anything else. He wasn’t obligated to stay. And what he was saying made sense. You both had the same appointment tomorrow, both for different reasons, but you both had to be at the same place at the same time. You knew everything in this situation was logical. So why was your heart shattering in your chest? 
He’s dressed now and he’s looking for his phone, his keys and his wallet outside in the living room. You follow him slowly, wrapping your arms protectively over the shirt he put on you. He gets everything he needs and heads for the door and you walk him out only because it feels like the right thing to do. He turns to look at you at the door and you look at him. Words remain unspoken. You’re not sure what he reads on your face because he looks like he was going to say something but he changed his mind. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and he’s polite enough to smile. He turns on his heel, and is out the door that closes with a finalizing shut. And just like that, he’s gone.
You’re not sure how long you stand there, looking at the broad expanse of wood he’s just disappeared behind. You’re not sure why your shoulders are shaking or why your breath keeps choking your throat. You turn around because what’s the point? You’ve done this before. This has happened to you before. Why should this time be different from any of the other times?
You don’t know how you make it back to your room because your legs are so weak and your vision is so blurred. You really thought it was going to be different this time. That he was going to be different. But once again, your heart has been broken. He had used you good, left his marks on you so you would see him, feel him for days, and just like that, he had left. 
Why did no one ever stay? What was it about you that made men look at you like a pump and dump? Why did you bare your mind, your soul, your body in front of yet another man when you knew what was going to happen? Why did you never learn? Why did you keep hoping that things would be different? Why did you give yourself so easily when no one ever wanted you? Why were you so unwanted? 
You’re pretty sure you’re sobbing because your hand is instinctively clutching onto your heart. The heart that had already been broken too many times, but this time, the injury felt much, much worse because you were in love. You were in love with Johnny. You knew that now. You know you were foolish to have fallen for a man you weren’t allowed to want. You had known it all along. You had never meant for things to go this far. No, you had hoped that things would go this far. Hoping was, in fact, the biggest sin you had committed in this strange tragedy. And you had paid the price for it. He didn’t want you, he could never want you. Why would a man like him want you? What were you to him? You were just another willing girl that threw herself at him. The man had been happy to sleep with you like normal people did, but no. You asked him, practically begged him to take you like a back alley whore. So of course, he was going to fuck you into oblivion and when the blood wasn’t rushing to his cock, he would realize how fucking deplorable you were as a woman for allowing this to happen to your body. Of course he couldn’t want you. You were unwantable. Suddenly, you can’t hold yourself up anymore… it was too much, it was all too much. It hurt so bad. You didn’t expect it to hurt so much that your legs couldn’t hold you up and you were sinking to your knees.
Strong hands grabbing at your shoulders, turning your around. 
You look up, tears blurring your vision, your breath hitching faster than your heartbeat, like you’re hyperventilating. You’re still clutching onto your chest like you’re trying to hold yourself together but failing. And he’s the one holding you, the one who caught you before you could fall to your knees. It’s him. He’s here, right in front of you. He’s looking back at you, with eyes intense, nostrils flared. And you’re looking back at him, unable to hide the outpour that he had left when he walked out that door. And you remember--he had your code.
“Why didn’t you ask me to stay?!” he asks urgently, holding onto your shoulders tight.
“I didn’t know I could.” you reply truthfully, your voice shaking and it makes you cry more and you can’t fake it anymore. This is what you feel and he’s seen it now. There was no point in hiding it.
“Y/N…” he takes your face in his hands strongly and kisses your tears. “Y/N, can’t you see? Can’t you see that I’m in love with you?” he says at you with such a burning intensity that it puts a halt to your tears.
“Huh…?” you look at him with round eyes, your self-doubt making it so hard for you to take in his confession.
But he makes it clear. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while. I didn’t tell you because… I wasn’t sure if that’s what you wanted. If that’s how you wanted to be with me. But I see it now, Y/N. I know you’re in love with me, too. Am I wrong?”
You can’t find your voice because the emotion is welling up inside you again. So you shake your head furiously. You weren’t like Johnny--you never could find the right words at the right time. You communicated everything physically. That’s why you pull him into a kiss and though your face is streaked with tears, you can’t bring yourself to care. 
He pulls you in strongly, kissing you like a victory, kissing you like a promise.
You don’t believe this. After years and years of searching, trial and error, getting your heart broken and doing it all over again, you finally got the man. You finally got a man who wanted you in the same way you wanted him. You had yourself a man that cared for you and loved you. You had yourself a man that was willing to be patient with you when you couldn’t put in words what you felt in your heart. 
You had yourself a man whom you could ask to stay and he would.
So tonight, you laid on his chest and he held you impossibly close. Telling you that he won’t go anywhere as long as you wanted him. Telling you that he loved you exactly how you were, broken pieces and all. Telling you that you were worth the effort he would have to make in the morning to seem unsuspicious to prying eyes. Because in exchange, he got to hold you close into the night. Tonight, you prayed for sleep to take you quickly because you were excited to wake up. Because in your heart, you knew that when you did, he would finally still be next to you.
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Text
Things from the SJM online event
Sarah started the book years ago
When she was writing ACOTAR Sarah realised that there was more to Nesta than just the “bitchy older sister”
ACOWAR was meant to be the end of the series, but Sarah wanted to explore Nessian more and she wrote aorund 200 pages and couldn’t get it out of her head and drunkenly pitched it and they went for it 
Sarah didn’t want her to be the perfect loveable sister, she wanted her to have baggage to then explore how she can grow as a person and heal 
Each of her characters get a part of her, but she thinks Nesta got the biggest chunk out of all of them, she got a lot deeper into the head of Nesta compared to any other character
She loves writing about the IC as a group and as individuals and loves writing about their histories together 
There were lots more parts of the ACOTAR world she wanted to write, including different characters and different courts 
Even though she loves Rhys, she sort of loved writing Nesta’s hatred towards him, she liked showing his actions through someone else’s eyes who isn’t going to swoon over him 
She was going to have Rhys and Feyre perspectives throughout the book but because they were in 1st person not 3rd so it was confusing to read. But also her editor said it was a distraction from Nesta’s story
The friendship between Gwyn and Emerie is one of her favourite friendships she’s written in all of her books 
Their friendship was also just as important as the relationship she had with Cassian
Sarah’s best friend was lot of the inspiration for the friendship between Nesta, Gwyn and Emerie
She doesn’t think Nesta’s story is complete, and she could’ve written another 1000 pages on Nesta just doing stuff. She will also have a major role to play in the future 
She was with a physical trainer (pre-covid) and she asked him to give her some basics on how to use and train with swords and so she drew from a lot of that for the scenes where Nesta is training 
Ever since release day she’s been trying not to think of any of her family reading this book because of the “steamy parts” 
Before the book came out she would explain that ACOSF is in the vein of ACOMAF, in so much they’re both healing stories in their own way 
The House of Wind came from her middle school days where she wanted Cher’s house from Clueless and took inspiration, and that she wanted a house that could cater to her every need and that’s where she got the ideas for the House of Wind from 
She loved the idea of Nesta connecting with something that isn’t actually alive, but making that connection nonetheless and knowing she isn’t alone
She wants someone to make art of Nesta’s black dress because she loves it. She was partly inspired by the Black Swan for that dress. 
The whole scene of her wearing that dress was her coming into control of herself again
Tchaikovsky does inspire some of the book, various movie scores
Stay Together for the Kids by Blink 182 actually helped her get into the head of Nesta- that song gave her the inspiration of how Nesta felt about her dad and family 
Sarah has to write at home because she get’s so into her scenes and characters she needs the privacy. But now shes a mum, she kind of writes wherever she can
She thinks Clare from Outlander would get along with Feyre and Nesta to some extent, and wonders what it would be like if Clare and Jamie fell through into the ACOTAR world 😂
She’s currently in edits on the second Crescent City book, and rivals ACOSF for sex scenes and steamy moments
She knows who’s story she wants to write for the next ACOTAR book, but doesn’t want to give anything away just yet 
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rosie-chaeyoung · 3 years
Text
☽ 𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲 [ 𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘁 ] ☽
title ; 3am - red velvet - irene
summary ; It’s late at night and the world was asleep. Well, except for Irene. When she wakes you up in the middle of the night for her personal needs things quickly take a turn.
word count ; 2288
pairing(s) / group ; irene of red velvet
warning(s) ; 18+, mommy kink, use of handcuffs, oral sex ( giving ), fingering, dom!reader, sub!irene
genre ; smut
༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧ ༉‧₊˚✧
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Quiet crickets sang a song of slumber as the sun had set in for a soft slumber. It was a peaceful night to say the least. Y/n and her girlfriend, Irene, both lay in bed asleep. The world outside snored quietly as the couple slept peacefully. A cool breeze blew every now and then making Joohyun move closer to her taller girlfriend. The clock ticked by slowly, each minute taking it's time to show. Irene's eyes peeked opened, her long eyelashes batted as she turned looking to her lover.
She was still asleep, but she was gorgeous. Her (h/c) hair fell on her pillow and her breathing was steady. She looked so peaceful. The brunette on the other hand was now in distress. She was now wide awake. Tossing and turning on her back, she was having trouble going back to sleep. The last few memories she had weren’t helping. Small flashes of the wet dream went through her mind, they were much too vivid to let go. “Ah. Wait, go f-faster Y/n" Her breath hitched, this was becoming too much to bare alone.
It felt all too surreal. “Moan my name baby" She turned on her side, slightly gripping the bedsheets underneath her frail form. She had to stop thinking about this. "Y-Y/n.. please.." Irene could feel her face turning a dark shade of red, she was becoming hotter and hotter by the second. "Louder baby" With a breathy sigh she realized she couldn't take it any longer. Either she was going to get out of bed or do something rash. “Ah~! I'm about to cum, Y/n~!" She easily decided the ladder. Irene pushed herself up from the soft mattress, putting both her hands on her lover.
She shook her side to side whispering a soft, "Wake up" each time. This continued for about two more minutes before the (e/c) eyed girl started to grow conscious. She opened her eyes, sitting up to look at her lover. "What? I'm up.." Y/n rubbed her eyes and stretched. She had no clue what time it was, but it was way too late for this. "I, um need your help with something." the idol trailed on. Y/n looked at the clock, '03:24' it read. "What's so important for you to wake me up this late? Are you alright?"
Y/n, now fully awake, gave all of her attention to the brown haired female. She figured it must’ve been important if she got waken up for it. Hopefully nothing along the lines of being hurt. “I'm horny.." Joohyun mumbled. Was she ashamed? Slightly, but it was either tell her or deal with this for the rest of the night alone. Y/n groaned rolling her eyes. "Baby, you woke me up at three in the morning to tell me you're horny?" She sighed out. It was unnecessary, she could’ve easily waited a couple more hours.
Or, she could have fixed the issue herself. Anything would have been better than being woken up this late. Irene furrowed her eyebrows and gently pushed her lover to lay on her back. She climbed over from her part of the bed to Y/n's. Straddling her girlfriend’s waist, she sat on top with an annoyed look on her delicate features. Y/n, in return, put her hands on Joohyun’s small waist looking up at the pouting girl.
"What's wrong now?" She asked aloud. Irene ran her hands across the h/c haired girls toned body, she trailed her finger lightly up and down. "I'm being serious about this... And you won't help me! I’ve helped you whenever you need it!" Her pout seemed to sink in deeper at her statement. Y/n exhaled, this was somewhat her fault. The only time her girlfriend became whiny like was when she was needy. Usually every time she became needy she would take care of her. She was just so tired right now though. So reluctantly, she agreed. "Fine fine. Damn, you're lucky I love you.."
The dominant female changed around their positions so she was on top and Irene lay on her back. "But since you did wake me up, we’ll play by my rules. So tell me just how badly you need me.” She laid her hands on Irene's thighs, pushing her legs more and more apart. She slid her knee in between her lovers aching legs, and let out a stiff laugh when Irene bucked her hips forward. "Seriously Y/n, hurry up! This isn’t fair so stop teasing me!" Irene glared up at the dominant female who still hovered her.
Although Y/n smiled, her eyes quickly darkened once she heard the sentence slip from her lover. Reaching up she pulled her wrists together holding them in one place. Her tone started off condescending as she spoke, and slowly let it trail for a better effect. “Listen babe. You woke me up for this. I could be asleep. But you're horny, so tone it down. Okay?" Irene listened and shrunk back into the bed letting her pout return. "Yes..." She lowered her head leaving only a few inches between the two. "Yes what?" She urged on. Irene's cheeks grew hot again but responded. "Yes mommy."
Now pleased, she leaned down capturing the elder females lips in her own. Irene moaned into the soft kiss letting Y/n slide her tongue deep into her mouth. Turning her head to deepen their struggle for dominance, the pale skinned female happily gave in midway. Y/n leaned over to the side of her bed feeling around for a certain object, their lips still connected. Finding what she wanted, she sat up showing her toy to the submissive girl. This was personally one of her favorites. “What? No! You know I hate being handcuffed!"
Irene told her while looking at the silver play thing. "Exactly. That’s the point of this babe." Y/n leaned downward locking the handcuffs to Irene's wrists. She squirmed already hating the new feeling. Irene never did like these restraints, because when she's in them she can never touch her girlfriend. Leaving scratches on her back was a huge turn on for Irene, so to not be able to do that upset her greatly. She hated this. Y/n chuckled looking at Irene's vulnerable state.
"Don’t make that face. You and I both know this is what happens when you get all bratty." But this seemed like too much talking for her liking. Y/n once more leaned down and let her hands find themselves underneath Joohyun’s shirt. She tugged at it, before pulling it off leaving her in a black lace bra and panties. Fortunately enough, Irene never sleeps in pants. "It seems like you came prepared." She teased. The brunette shook her head disagreeing.
"It just sort of happened..." Y/n shrugged her shoulders while going to unclip and take off the lace bra. She didn't waste any time enveloping her significant other. Putting Irene's sensitive bud in her mouth and twirling the other in her hand, Y/n watched Irene let out soft moans. This was her joy of being in control, the trill that ran through her. The only thing she wanted to her was her name being moaned over and over, and as of now she was getting that. "Y/n, ah, please." She panted out.
Y/n loved the feeling of teasing the brown eyed female, this was pure torture. Trailing light and soft butterfly kisses down her toned body Irene was having trouble with the silver restraints on her wrists. Hating the feeling of being tied down she tugged at the cold cuffs, hoping they would come loose. But they didn't budge. Y/n finally tugged the hem of Irene's matching panties, already feeling how soaked they were.
She smirked, her lover always made teasing easy. She always so sensitive to her touch, just the slightest of moves and she could have her older lover turn into a hot moaning mess. The best example of this would be now. "Aww, did you really need my attention that badly?" Y/n began pulling the black lace material off Irene's slender legs. In return, Irene tugged her legs away. "Wait."
Y/n looked up to Irene's dark and lust filled eyes, she was so stunning. She made a humming like noise telling her to continue. She would never do anything without permission, so if she needed to wait then she would do that. "This isn't fair. You have to take off your clothes too. I can’t be the only one naked here." So that’s what she wanted ? She laughed at her submissive's order. She knew it wasn't fair, but she also knew that teasing was still fun.
So she did take her clothes off, just not as quickly as Irene wanted. She put her hand on her shirt hem pulling it off slowly, doing the same with her shorts. "Y/n! Please, I really need you right now!" Irene had been holding back her pleas, but this was her breaking point. She wasn’t even sure how she held onto them this long truly. Her lower regions were throbbing with anticipation and her body was so hot she could’ve swore she would set the bed on fire.
Her breathing was off, and she couldn't hold in anymore of her waiting. She wasn’t the only one having fun though. As mentioned, this is what really turned on Y/n. Being in charge wasn’t always easy, especially with someone with an attitude like Joohyun’s. Yet, times like this really proved she was where she belonged. "As you wish princess." In one big motion she took off the last bit of clothing clinging to her body. Irene, now feeling self conscious of her own body, closed her legs.
Y/n noticed this and almost immediately spread the brunettes legs. With one hand on her hip and the other on her thigh Y/n didn't waste much time going to work. All it took was a few small licks, a bit of sucking, and she was already a throbbing, moaning mess. Joohyun arched her back multiple times letting Y/n stick her tongue fully into her. Her moans were becoming louder by the second as she began tugging harshly at the handcuffs.
She hated not being able to touch her, it was one of the things that just drove her crazy. "Y/n, o-off. Take these off m-" Her 'sentence' cut itself short as another loud moan followed her words. Her climax was coming fast and it was coming hard at that. No, not yet she couldn’t let it happen yet. She wanted these off of her first, she hadn’t to get them off. She pulled harder at the restraints, at this point she was just trying to run away from the pleasure. It was becoming too overwhelming for her.
Y/n made room with her tongue by adding in two fingers. And once she was adjusted, a third to maximize her pleasure as much as possible. Irene's legs began to shake and she began to squirm in her place. "Ah! Y/n! J-Just move your hand, f-faster!" She wanted to ride out her climax and this was her way of doing it. Just to tease her a little more, Y/n slowed her pace slightly. “What’s the magic word?” Joohyun began to push herself toward her lovers hand as she was able to stutter out the word.
“P-Please..” The one little word was all Y/n needed to continue. She went back to her same actions but this time sped things up significantly. Using her thumb Y/n circled around the elder females most sensitive part making her throw her head back, and soon enough let the knot in her stomach break. Breathing heavily she laid her back on the cool bed. It was the only thing in the room that didn't seem hot.
Y/n didn’t consider herself an impatient person, but at the moment she could definitely see why she may be label that way. She pulled Irene's legs apart again and began to ease her into another climax. Irene was sensitive though, so any sort of stimulation down there would be torture. "S-Stop it..." She whined out weakly. There was little fight put up before her legs began to tremble from pleasure once more. The h/c-ette began all over again to give her girlfriend the satisfaction she deserved.
She started to squirm again and now bite down on her lip. "Fuck!" She let her swear slip from her mouth. Once more she arched her back off the bed letting her moans fall out simultaneously. The knot formed over, and soon broke again. Small sighs of pleasure floated from her as she gripped the sheeting beneath her. She had hit her climax for the second time. Joohyun yelled out in pleasure, moaning the (e/c) eyed girl's name.
She let out one last shaky moan until she let herself cum. She sighed in relief, the pleasure was over. "Good girl, you did so well." Y/n moved the wet, frizzled hair from her pale girlfriend's face. She was a panting, sticky, sweaty mess. And that's how she liked it. She reached up unlocking Irene's handcuffs and throwing them to a random corner of the room. Irene quickly clung to Y/n pulling her back down on the bed with herself. After a moment of breathing in her sweet scent, she flipped their positions.
She now straddled Y/n who laid under her satisfied with the past events. Irene showed off her pearly white smile looking into her lovers eyes.
"Round two?" ~
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natsfirecat · 3 years
Text
Cold pt. 2
Part One
summary: r gets help learning how to adjust to life without her powers
pairings: Natasha Romanoff x fem reader, Bucky Barnes x fem reader (platonic)
word count: 4.3k
warnings: panic attack, knives, blood, lmk if i need to add any more
"My love," Natasha's voice woke you up. "I'm leaving now, but I wanted to say goodbye."
You opened your eyes, forcing a smile as she leaned down to hug you.
"Stay safe, Natty," you told her, hugging her tighter.
"Of course," she replied.  "I'll be back before you know it,"
Once she left your room, your smile dropped.
It was the first mission she agreed to take on since you got back. She was hesitant about it, not wanting to leave you alone. But you told her she should do it, you didn't want to hold her back.
The mission was going back to the HYDRA base you were rescued from, and destroying everything there. You also made sure that they wouldn't hurt, and would preferably rescue Henry and any other children there.
Everyone else had also gone on the mission, with the exception of Bucky, who had sprained his ankle.
It was early enough for it to be acceptable to go back to sleep, but also late enough for it to be acceptable to wake up. Considering that you could hardly sleep without the comfort of your girlfriend's arms around you, you decided it was better to just get up for the day.
Shivering at the cold brought from getting up, you quickly made your way to the closet.
Considering that you didn't get cold until recently, you actually didn't own any hoodies or any warm clothes in general. So you grabbed one of Natasha's, then pulled it over yourself.
You let out a long sigh as the hoodie blocked the freezing cold air from touching your arms. You also smiled at the fact that it smelled like your girlfriend.
Despite not having your powers anymore, Natasha still tried to convince you to go on missions again, maybe even this one if you were up for it. But you kept telling her no.
While you absolutely loved her and knew how important she was to the Avengers and as a hero being someone who relies on hand-to-hand combat and weapons, you didn't want that for yourself. You just wanted to move fire through the air with a flick or your wrist. Plus, you always thought guns were overrated for fighting. Sure, they were one of the best weapons, but they just weren't very cool looking in your opinion.
You knew you would have to adapt to being an Avenger without powers eventually, but you weren't quite ready yet. So instead you would just sulk under blankets, missing your natural warmth.
You walked out of your room, and made your way into the kitchen. Unsurprisingly, Bucky was already awake. He was usually up before the sun rose. Sam would always complain about him making too much noise in the morning.
So you said hello to him, before grabbing some leftovers for breakfast. It took a lot of effort, but you managed not to send the microwave a death glare.
Once it beeped to indicate that it was done, you opened it, flinching at the touch. While being cold was new to you, so was being burned. Before, you could easily touch hot things with no problem; but you couldn't do that anymore.
You took a step back, shaking your hand as if to cool it off. You began stumbling, then let out a yelp as you lost your balance and tripped backwards. There was a loud bang when your head hit the counter just before you fell to the floor.
Ow.
It was painful, but you were okay. That is, until you turned around and saw a few drops of blood.
You gasped, or at least tried to before it felt like the air was trapped in your throat.
Suddenly you were back in the chair in the dark room. You couldn't move.
You let out a cry as you tried to move, but your arms were tied down. You began to feel a burning starting in your forearm. It made it's way through your entire arm, then spready even further as you screamed.
You weren't sure how you got back here, but it didn't look like there was a way out now.
-
"Y/N, you're awake," Bucky let out a sigh of relief.
"What happened?" You asked, noticing that you were in the med-wing.
"You hit your head," Dr. Cho said as she entered the room.
"I was back there," you said as the memory began to come back to you. "I was back in the room,"
"From what Mr. Barnes described to me, it seems you had a panic attack as a result of the fall. You don't have a concussion, so you should be fine as long as you take it easy,"
You nodded, then began to climb out of the bed.
"I called Natasha, by the way," Bucky said, resulting in a loud sigh from you.
As much as you'd like her to be with you right now, you didn't want to call her away from the mission. You also didn't want her to think of you as unable to take care of yourself now that your powers were gone. The two of you were always a little clingy, but since they had gotten you back after you had been taken, her clinginess and protectiveness increased significantly.
"What did she say?" You asked.
"They arrived, and she can't leave now or else it'd cause a scene. But she'll be leaving early tomorrow,"
You sighed again. You hated the fact that she was leaving a mission early for you.
"Am I even an Avenger anymore?" You asked as tears began to form in your eyes. "What use am I to the team without pyrokinesis?"
His eyes fell as he gave you a hug.
"Of course you're an Avenger," he said, hugging you tighter as you began to cry. "That's never gonna change,"
"But I don't control fire anymore,"
"That was never a requirement for the team, it's awful that you lost your powers but you're still such an important part to the team. And hey, the majority of us didn't have powers to begin with either, and we're still here. Hell, your girlfriend is living proof that you don't need powers to be one of the most badass Avengers,"
You let out a small chuckle, sniffling, hoping you hadn't cried too much into his shirt.
"So what should I do now?" You asked him.
"You can fight without powers. Make use of other things; guns-" you immediately shook your head no, so he continued on. "Knives, or maybe even tasers like Natasha,"
You laughed again, then thought for a minute.
"Knives are pretty cool, not gonna lie. Guns are so overrated, but I think it might be cool to use a dagger or something,"
He noticed your smile, which caused him to smile a bit.
"Come with me," he said, leading you to back to the kitchen. He pulled out two butter knives, then gave you a quick smirk before going back to the training room.
You could hardly believe what was happening until he tossed both of them in the air. One, he grabbed with perfect timing. The other, he tossed forward to you.
You reached forward out of instinct, then breathed out a sigh of relief as you caught it.
"Good thing we're not starting with actual daggers," he said, gesturing to how you had caught it from the blade.
You laughed, then changed your grip so you were holding it at the handle. He flipped his again just to show off, earning a scoff from you.
"Alright," he said. "Let's begin."
Two hours later, you were both breathing heavy and covered in sweat when you finally decided to take a break for the day.
"You're doing good," he said with a smile.
"Thanks," you replied, taking a few sips from your water bottle.
As you made your way out of the training room and headed back to your room to shower, you smiled. It was your first real smile since you lost your powers.
You felt warmth throughout your body as your kept your smile.
You may have lost your fire powers, but you weren't cold anymore.
-
Despite feeling guilty about her coming back, you still ran into her arms and nearly tackled your girlfriend with a hug when she got off the landing pad.
"You seem happy," she pointed out with a smile.
You giggled, still keeping your arms around her. She kissed your forehead, keeping her arms around you too.
"You seem much better than how Bucky described you yesterday,"
You shrugged, your smile growing wider.
While you had pulled your arms off her shoulders, you still leaned into her side as you walked hand in hand back inside.
"What did he say about me?"
"That you were passed out and hit your head. I wish I could've come as soon as I heard,"
You gave her lips a quick kiss once you stepped inside, keeping your hands connected.
"That's technically true," you told her, breaking eye contact. Despite not looking at her directly, you could feel her gaze shift. You loved your overprotective girlfriend, but she could be scary at times.
"Y/N..." her voice lowered as she saw your wandering eyes.
"Well..." you started off high-pitched. "I fell over while trying to make breakfast, because I may have had a panic attack..."
Her eyes softened as she took a few steps closer to you. She held her arms out, but didn't wrap them around you again. She waited until you came to her before hugging you.
"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, kissing your forehead once again.
"Not really," you admitted. "I want to talk about something else instead,"
Natasha's smile grew once she saw that you were smiling again. So she nodded for you to continue,
"Bucky's teaching me how to fight with knives so I can use daggers when fighting!"
She turned her head to the side, thinking about what you said. But felt herself smiling even wider once she registered the excitement in your eyes.
"So my girlfriend is gonna bring daggers into battle?" She asked with a glow in her eyes. "Can't wait to see that,"
You kept your smile as you leaned forward to kiss her. She could feel your smile, which filled her with relief knowing that you weren't so miserable anymore.
She deepened the kiss as she put her hands on the back of your thighs, prompting you to jump into her arms. She continued kissing you until she placed you on the kitchen counter, where she moved her lips down to your neck.
"Agh!" You pulled your head up as soon as you heard Bucky’s voice. "I wanna gonna see if you were ready for training, but I'll come by later,"
You brushed it off as if it were nothing, while Natasha was giving him a death glare.
"No, I'm good to train now," you said, hopping off the counter.
Natasha turned back to you, then pouted. You looked between her and Bucky.
"Nat's good with knives too," you pointed out. "It couldn't hurt to have both of you there,"
She seemed satisfied before walking down to the training room with you.
-
For the past week, you got lessons from both Natasha and Bucky. If you were being honest, you did a little better during Natasha's lessons. She would motivate you with kisses every time you did something right. So it was safe to say you had a lot of improvement.
As for Bucky, he still taught you important stuff but there just wasn't that motivation. So, he began to focus on the cool-looking tricks while Natasha focused on the actual fighting parts.
Today was the day everyone else would be coming back from the mission. You were currently in your girlfriend's arms laying in bed. Your head rested on her chest as she gently stroked your hair, kissing the top of your head every once in awhile.
"I'm so proud of you," she said to you.
You smiled, then moved your hand over hers that was currently on your waist. She continued stroking your hair with her other hand, holding you close.
"Thanks for helping me out," you replied, causing her to smile.
"You're a natural, detka," she said. "You're getting better every day,"
You shifted your position so you were now facing her, keeping your hands connected. You leaned in to kiss her gently.
"I love you," you said between soft kisses. "I'm not sure how I got so lucky to have you as a girlfriend,"
"You're mistaken," she said as she initiated the next kiss. "I'm the one who got lucky, my love,"
You felt your smile growing. Just as you were about to resume your kisses, FRIDAY notified both of you that the others had gotten back.
You pulled apart, causing your girlfriend to grumble, but she still followed you up. She trailed behind you as you made your way downstairs, preparing to greet everyone and ask about the mission.
"Y/N!" Wanda said as she ran up and hugged you.
"Hi," you said as you hugged her back. "How'd it go?"
Just as she opened her mouth to respond, Steve stepped in the middle of the room to address everyone.
"We destroyed the base," he said, making eye contact with you, Natasha, and Bucky.
"What about-" you started, but got cut off.
"There were no children in sight. Trust me, we looked very thoroughly before we destroyed it. They must have moved some things, including him,"
You sighed, but you were relieved that they didn't hurt Henry. You only wished they could've gotten him out and away though.
"So what all have you been doing?" Wanda asked.
"Nat and Bucky are teaching me how to fight with knives," you said with a wide grin.
She tilted her head to the side, registering what you were saying. It wasn't until Natasha came up and wrapped an arm around your waist that she spoke again.
"How's that going for you?" She asked.
"Pretty good," you replied as Natasha rested her chin on your shoulder, prompting you to wrap an arm around her too.
"We missed you for the rest of the mission," Wanda said to your girlfriend, who was currently trying to completely attach herself to you.
"You guys were fine, I'll go on another one," she said nonchalantly, keeping her focus on you.
Wanda sighed, realizing that Natasha was very much unavailable right now. So, along with the rest of the team, she retreated off to her room to unpack and rest up.
"Finally," she muttered once everyone left.
You laughed as she pulled you onto the couch, nuzzling her head in your neck.
"You really didn't wanna leave our room, huh?" You asked as she finally got comfortable.
"I thought I made it very clear that I wanted to stay there with you," she said into your neck, causing you to laugh.
It was amazing how someone who could be so cold and ruthless was a soft mess who just wanted cuddles from you.
You felt goosebumps on your skin as you attempted to wrap your legs around her, trying to keep contact for both warmth and for cuddling purposes.
After a few moments, you huffed out a sigh as your attempts were unsuccessful.
"Let's go back to our room," you said, trying not to think about the cold air surrounding you.
Even though you had enjoyed learning how to use knives, you still hated having to adjust to life without your pyrokinesis. Natasha understood your look immediately, then hopped off the couch and led you back to your shared room.
You had been feeling so happy this last week, but it was hard not to be disappointed at being cold and having to go back to using blankets.
She pulled you close to her from under the blanket, keeping the warm air around you.
"I love you," she said as she rested her forehead against yours. "Whether you're my own blanket or we're both icebergs who need a blanket. I love you."
-
Several weeks passed, and you were only getting better. Today, Bucky was training you outside. There were targets set up on trees. Steve managed to find them, and happily lent them to Bucky to help you.
So you whipped around, throwing the dagger in front of you. It hit the target, not exactly bullseye but close to it. Bucky tossed you the next dagger (which you caught perfectly) as you turned to the next target, throwing it. This time it was even closer to the bullseye. He tossed the next one right before you threw it, getting it just a little bit closer to the center.
Surprising you, Natasha came up from behind, then threw the dagger above you making it spin a few times before you caught it. You threw it at the last target, feeling a smile on your face as it hit the bullseye perfectly.
"That was hot," your girlfriend whispered, which made your smile grow even wider.
"You've come a long way, Y/N," Bucky told you, smiling proudly. "I think you've reached a point where you can go on missions again, using daggers as a weapon."
"Really?" You asked, rolling back and forth on your feet.
"Your aim is only getting better. Steve mentioned something about a mission in two weeks, and I'm gonna recommend you,"
Your cheeks were beginning to hurt from how much you were smiling. Your gaze shifted between your proud girlfriend and your proud friend/mentor.
Without thinking, you threw yourself into Bucky's arms, hugging him tightly.
"Thank you," you said, keeping your grip tight as he hugged you back.
"Anytime," he said, unconsciously picking you up.
"Okay, Barnes," Natasha said, rolling her eyes playfully. "Don't crush my girlfriend please,"
You couldn't help but notice a glint of jealousy in her eyes. She knew you would never do anything to hurt her, but she still liked being the only one holding you like that.
So you ran into her arms as soon as he set you down, almost knocking her over.
"And thank you, Natty," you said, brushing your nose against hers before you gave her a quick kiss.
As you stared at the two of them, you felt so many emotions, but the prime one was happiness. Sure, you were cold on the outside, but on the inside you were warmer than ever.
-
As promised, you were set to go on the mission two weeks later. It was a two-person mission, so of course you chose your girlfriend to accompany you.
She woke you up the morning of, showering your face with kisses as she gently pulled you out of bed.
"Detka, we need to go," she had told you, placing a loving kiss on your forehead. You normally hated getting up early, but excitement was coursing through your veins as you remembered what was happening today.
So you had shot up, kissed her back, then got ready faster than you ever had this early in the morning.
Now, you stood on the quinjet, gripping your girlfriend's hand to help calm your nerves. She pulled your hand up to her mouth, kissing it before giving it a gentle squeeze.
"We've got this," she assured you. "It'll be okay,"
You smiled, squeezing her hand again.
"You're right."
Once you landed, you jumped to the ground, Natasha following close behind. She kept her guns at her sides while you had your daggers in a few different holsters in your suit.
"Ready?" She asked, earning a nod from you.
Together, you made your way into the building. You knew the building wasn't deserted, but the goal was to get past without being seen.
You made it past a few hallways, but you knew your luck had ran out when one of the people passing by started swinging his fists at Natasha. You heard the crackling electricity of her widow's bites as she began to pull him down.
Soon, everyone in the hall came after the two of you.
"Go!" She told you. "I've got this!"
She was right, you needed to get the file while you still could. As much as you hated it, you made your way between everyone, avoiding the punches as your girlfriend held them off.
You turned around, making sure she was okay. Your heart fell as you saw someone coming up from behind, about to knock her down.
So you acted on instinct, pulling one of your daggers out. You threw it forward, hoping your nerves wouldn't mess up all the training you went through.
Luckily, it worked. The dagger went through his hand, then landed in another guy, trapping them as they both screamed.
Natasha winked at you proudly as you made eye contact, then tilted her head to the side, silently telling you to keep going. As much as it hurt to do so, you did.
Once you reached the necessary room, you began to look through the drawers as fast as you could for the necessary file. As soon as you found it, you heard two people coming from behind you.
So you grabbed another dagger before whipping around to face them. One of them was coming right at you, so you held it up and slashed his throat, closing your eyes as the blood splattered.
The other let out a scream as he started running at you, so you threw the same dagger at him. It hit his hand, backing him into the wall and trapping his hand.
You let out a sigh of relief, feeling adrenaline pumping through your body. It felt strangely familiar.
You went back to the files, pulling out the one you needed. You tried to drown out the screams of the men as you ran back through the halls, desperate to make sure Natasha was okay and get out of here.
She had taken down almost everyone, just a few people still coming at her. So you pulled out two more daggers as you ran to her. You landed on your knees, slashing the legs of the first two people. Once they screamed, Natasha held her leg up and kicked them both to the ground.
There was one person left. As much as she wanted to knock him down now and get it over with, she decided to let you handle it.
So you ran at him, throwing both knives at his hands. Just like before, they hit the wall as they tore through his flesh, constricting his movements.
Your girlfriend stared at you proudly, then grabbed your free hand and ran out the building with you.
As soon as you stepped out, you reached in one of your knife holsters where you had folded the file, but she stopped you as she crashed her lips into yours hard.
You weren't expecting it, but you definitely weren't complaining when she pinned you up against the side of the quinjet, holding your hands over your head by your wrists.
"Wow," you muttered as she pulled apart, only to lean in again and kiss you with just as much passion as before.
You moved your lips in sync to hers, slowly forgetting about the world around you. She let go of your wrists, then moved her hands down lower to pick you up as you wrapped yourself around her, running one hand through her hair while the other was behind her neck.
As she stumbled up the steps of the quinjet, keeping her lips moving against yours, she reached to the control panel and turned on autopilot as fast as she could.
Once you were in the air, she finally pulled away for breath, keeping you close to her. As you leaned in again, she moved to set you down, but ended up falling on the floor when you were hit with turbulence.
As she landed on top of you, laughter erupted from the both of you. She smiled down at you, running her thumb along the edge of your jaw.
"This was fun," you said, returning her smile.
She laughed again, then leaned down and placed another lengthy kiss to your lips.
"Agreed."
-
When you handed the files back to Steve, everyone seemed happy that your first powerless mission went well. You made sure to thank Bucky again for all his help training you.
Now, you were back in the arms of your girlfriend as you got ready for bed. Despite all the happiness you were feeling from the mission with her, you had something on your mind that you couldn't stop thinking about.
"Natty," you began, earning a hum from her as she played with your hair. "I did really enjoy the mission today,"
"So did I,"
You smiled at her, taking her other hand in your own.
"I'm starting to be okay with not having my powers, but I still mess them, y'know," you said to her, which she gave you a nod in response. "So I've been thinking about it; whatever they put in me, I don't think it could've changed my DNA on a cellular level."
"What do you mean?"
"When I got my powers, it really affected me. I was getting sick all the time, and constantly passing out because my DNA was literally changing. That didn't happen this time. So I don't think they changed it. I think that part of me is just dormant,"
She hummed again before you continued on.
"And if it's dormant, that means we can activate it again,"
"What are you saying, Y/N?"
"I'm saying that if we go back to the place I first got my powers, and did some digging... I think we can get them back."
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