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greensaplinggrace · 3 years

Note

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

---

This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

---

This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

---

This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

---

This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

---

This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

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Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

---

@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

---

👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

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This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

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levis-coffeecup · 2 years

Text

Chapter 15 | All that is lost

WC-9.9 k

Content/Warnings

canon- compliant, canon-typical violence, descriptions of PTSD, grief, depression, heavy angst and themes, strong language.

Author's note:

Brace yourself for this really really long chapter, because some it's almost 10k words long and idk how.

There are 2 scenes in this one, and the first one takes place a month after chapter 14, where Levi and Mae kinda confront each other. And the second scene is a month after that. (So basically, 2 months covered in this one chapter)

Also I'm sorry, there's been quite a delay on my side. Its 1:26 in the morning which does mean that I'm almost 1 and a half our late and Sunday has already ended. But also the fact that I had been posting in the afternoon the past weeks. (I was in my hostel and we don't have good internet there at night, so I was posting the chapters early, but now I'm back home for a week, so I took my time🤡)

So in short, i'm really sorry if someone was waiting and i showed up 12 hours later lol.

The song for this chapter is lost on you - by LP. I hope you guys like it!

Chapters

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

Masterlist | Playlist | Other Works

SEPT 846

Cold air blows in Mae’s face, as she wipes the tear that rolls down her cheek. The river streams below the rock she sits on. And the moon is out, crescent shaped today. Shining its light on the clearing in the forest.

She takes in a deep breath as she looks down at the ebbing river. And even though she doesn’t see her reddened face in all the darkness, she doesn’t need sight to know that her face is swollen from all the crying.

She’s doing well as a doctor. The bar is good as well, no man has gawked at her ever since the Levi incident. And she’s not alone, she has Hange and Raz.

Things are fine, and there is no blatant reason to be upset. But she is still crying.

It feels like there is so much sadness trapped inside of her. And she doesn’t know why it's here or how it got here. But she carries it everywhere… And it comes out at random times, in the form of the quaking of her shoulders and the glossy film that covers her eyes.

Her tears feel cold against the blowing wind. The sound of the flowing river fills her ears. And the stars in the sky blur out due to the moisture laced in her eyes.

It's been so long since she’s been here. To her spot, to the place that used to offer her so much solace.

But today, as she sits here and feels the sturdy rock beneath her body, she is reminded of the time when she first met Levi. Days spent sitting under a cedar tree, on the outskirts of the clearing. Giving a mere stranger some space because to her he looked upset.

And now he stands behind the same tree where she once sat. Staring at her instead as she cries on the rock. The tables have turned and life has drastically changed. And there seems no way for things to get back to how they once were. So naive yet spiteful.

September is about to end in a week, And it's almost been 2 months since that day when Levi beat up that creepy customer and created a scene. And since then he’s been coming to the bar daily, he hasn’t missed a single day.

He stays at the bar for her entire shift. From 8 to 12. Glaring at anyone who even looks at her. And it's not just that.

He follows her back to her house as well, and he only leaves when he sees her shut the door and blow the candles off. Resting safely inside her home.

And oh! How hard she has tried to get rid of him.

She left his table uncleaned. Told Raz to ignore him and not serve him anything. She even added salt in his tea some days, and yet he drank it without filing a single complaint to the manager. Without even making a face.

And she’s failing again. History is repeating itself. In the most ironic way. Just like 2 years back, when she was trying to get him out of her spot.

And yes his presence does make the bar a much safer place. Raz feels more comfortable as well. But Mae doesn’t want her stupid heart to throb for him once again.

She wants to forget about him. She left her job, she left everything she had, for this, and now he comes chasing after her. Acting like her bodyguard.

Acting like the man she fell in love with.

Her mind feels heavy with thoughts. And her thoughts are crashing inside her like a hurricane. Messing up everything that stands its way. Her head throbs and she clutches it with both of her hands. Her fingers dig into her scalp and she lets out a frustrated groan.

It's all the same, just like all those days back then. She isn’t able to get him out of her spot and she isn’t even able to get him out of her heart.

And Mae doesn’t understand how Levi is even managing everything? Have his duties as a captain magically reduced? Or does he not need any sleep anymore?

Her mind flashes back to the day after, when she lashed out on him. Weak and miserable, begging for him to cooperate.

It was raining, so hard that Mae thought a storm would come in.

The bar was jam packed, filled with customers and people taking shelter from the rain.

And words couldn’t describe the disappointment on her face, when she found Levi sitting at the same cornered table, with that same damned cloak on. As if she never begged him to get away from, just a day prior.

The rain stalled for a minute. And her feet moved on a will of their own, ignoring all the customers who were waiting for her to come to their table.

She pinched the fabric of his cloak, and dragged him outside the noisy bar.

The streets were quiet and water filled up all the crevices in the cobblestone path. There was hardly anyone in sight, and to Mae this filthy, mud covered street seemed like the perfect place to confront Levi.

Or maybe it was her desperation, her mind that was begging her heart to forget him. And her heart, that was poorly failing. Trying everything in hand to not think about him,

And yet he was here at the bar, acting as if nothing wrong ever happened between them. Acting like she still was his friend, and he still cared.

Mae pivoted around, hand still clenching on to the fabric on Levi’s shoulder. And her face was filled with venom as she sneered. “Why are you here when all I want from you is to not be in my life anymore?”

But Levi was quiet as usual, head facing down and body so still, as if she wasn't even saying anything . It reminded Mae of the day she confessed to him.

And anger seeped into her system, at his lack of response. “LEVI! I’M A MARRIED WOMAN, YOU NEED TO STOP PLAYING THESE GAMES WITH ME.”

Levi remained quiet again. His cloak covered half of his face. And Mae couldn’t see the expressions on his face, but she knew the man in front of her wasn’t the indifferent, cold man who never breaks out of his demeanor.

It was something else, maybe a part of him that he had caged deep within him.

Thunder cackled through the clouds, and it was only at that moment that Levi looked up. Reaching his hand forward towards Mae, that he knows, shudders at the sound of thunder.

And it was true. She had shriveled up, hands hugging herself and eyes wide in a moment of fear.

Her heart was beating faster, and she didn’t know whether it's for the thunder that scared her, or for Levi’s hand hovering over her shoulder.

She never told him that she’s afraid of thunder… it must have been something he observed. And just like always he knew her like the back of his hand. Every fear, every desire and every thought.

It felt like time had frozen. They looked at each other, eyes filled with unspoken words and buried emotions.

One contemplating whether it was wrong of her heart to still beat for him, when she had long decided that she needed to forget him. And the other contemplating whether he was allowed to touch her anymore.

The silence was broken by thunder once again. The rain picked up, even stronger this time. Drenching the both of them whole in a matter of seconds.

But they stood still, lost in time and in the downpour of their emotions.

Mae heaved out a sigh as she pulled her eyes away from him.

She hated herself. She hated herself so much for being weak. For still feeling for a man who had hurt her so many times. Who’s thoughts still made her cry every night.

She turned to his hand that hovered over her shoulder, and forced a grimace on her face. And Levi withdrew his arm back, as his eyes fell back to the ground once again.

“Mae… “ His voice cracked and he took in a breath to compose himself. “Yesterday you told me that it’s a person’s will that’s the strongest… And you were right, because I can only break their bones and dislocate their shoulders, but they still have the choice to not surrender, even if they are in a… horrible condition.”

He looked up at her and a fire reflected in his eyes. “Your life is your own, and at the end you can do whatever with it. You can choose anything from the options in front of you, even if the options are shitty… And I have chosen for myself to stay here. Because I’m not leaving you to work all alone at night…That’s my will. Do whatever you want. I’m not going to let anyone harm you here… and I’m not going to leave.”

His resolve was evident in his voice and Mae’s lips quivered as she took in a shaky exhale.

Why was he here acting like the man she fell for, when all she wanted to do was forget him? Couldn’t he just continue being an asshole and make things easier for her?

Why was he here with his decision to stay, when all she wanted was for him to be gone from her life and her heart?

The rain pattered against her frame, and she was grateful, because it hid her tears so well.

But this was Levi we are talking about. The man who knows her as well as the back of his hand.

She turned around, wanting to be as far away from him as she could. But Levi’s hand was quick to grab on to her wrist. He didn’t want her to leave with a sullen expression like that.

He’s wanted her happy, he’s always wanted her happy.

Her head swiveled, and she looked back at him. Face blank and eyes cold.

“M-Mae, I’ll never hurt you,” his voice cracked.

A painful expression took over Mae’s face. ‘You've already hurt me Levi,’ it said. And Levi’s eyes widened as it told him exactly what she was thinking./ everything about the thought in her head.

“.... physically.” He muttered out, to save himself from the weight of his own actions.

His hand was still latched onto her wrist. It was cold and Levi’s body was always the first to lose its warmth when the weather dropped.

And he was sodden in the rainwater… he could catch a cold.

But Mae wasn’t supposed to care about him anymore.

So she shaked her hand out of his grasp. And walked back into the bar with heavy steps.

Levi has always been a violent man. This clearing itself stands a testament to it.

The first day she went to him, he tackled her to the ground. And the other day in the market, he beat someone up just because they were looking at him?

But there is more to it, Levi doesn't just beat up people for looking at him. If that was the case, then she would have been long dead by now.

Hange says Levi gets violent when he’s angry, annoyed or overwhelmed, sometimes even when he’s stressed. Or when he needs to prove a point.

In a way violence is how he expresses himself. He doesn’t crack under the pressure, he explodes loud enough that everyone feels his rage.

It has something to do with his past, Hange said. He has had it very harsh, they said.

And Mae can’t help but think how brutal Levi’s past must have been, if he believes in philosophies like ‘strength is all I need to survive’?

She lets out a defeated sigh, as another tear slips down her eye.

Why he did what he didn’t doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter.

The point is that Levi is a violent man, and she’s known that ever since the day she met him.

So why did her heart manage to discard the things she already knew about him? How did she be so blind in her love for him?

Levi never told her much about himself. Yeah, she knows about all his likes and dislikes, and all his small quirks. But she doesn’t know about his past, she doesn’t know about his parents. Heck, she doesn’t even know his surname.

And the irony is that she doesn’t know him well. But right now it feels like she doesn’t know herself as well.

She looks into the mirror and she doesn’t know the woman who blinks back at her.

Because the woman she thought she was, was cautious. Never a risk taker. Always walking meters away from any danger.

And even though she has always been quite sentimental, a part of her was always rational. Able to decipher the truth between all her emotions.

She knew that the evacuees would be abandoned one day. She knew that she wouldn’t be able to save her parents. Because the odds were against it. And it was the bitter truth that her heart learned to accept the first month after the announcement of the mission itself.

And no smart person offers food to a cat that bites back.

Then why is her heart so hell bent on playing with fire? Why is a part of her so adamant on understanding why Levi did things the way he did?

It's only now that she sees the way she’s latched on to him. The death of her loved ones left a void in her heart and Levi was the quick relief that took all her pain away. And she was so distracted by the rush of her heart that she hardly paid any attention to the void that weakened her from the inside.

He was something she relied on, instead of strengthening her own will. And it's been 4 months since the day he held her up by the collar, but imagining a life without him still feels hard.

It's cold, so cold. Her teeth clatter, and her body shivers. She crosses her arms and places her hands on her shoulders. Trying to warm her body by rubbing her palms.

But the sound of footsteps comes to her notice. They are silent and fast, like Levi’s. And she knows they are coming towards her because of the fallen leaves that they crush on their path.

The footsteps are coming closer but she is reluctant to turn around. For once she wants to be lost in her own world, without any reminder of reality. For once she wants to be left alone.

A coat falls onto her lap . It's the Survey Corps cloak. And the hands that keep it next to her are pale and calloused.

“You’ll catch a cold.” Levi’s voice is gentle. And she doesn’t need to cast a glance to know he’s wearing a thin white cotton shirt himself. Because she’s seen him throughout her entire shift plenty of times already.

Levi stays there for a moment, standing next to her, and staring at the river ahead.

He follows Mae back everyday. And he sees the house she’s now living in. It's despicable, just a single room, with a metal shed on top, in the poorest section of the city.

She’s working as a waitress. Living in a house, smaller than the dorms in the Headquarters.Working at a cheap clinic in the slums.

And all he wants to do is to beat that damned Ivan. He wants to steal all his money and get her settled in Sina. This isn’t the life he wanted for her. This isn’t the life that he distanced himself from her, for.

But he holds it all inside of him. She wants him out of her life and he doesn’t have the right to barge into her life anymore. Not when he himself kicked her out of his.

And he blames himself for the situation she’s in. He should have interrogated that fucking husband of hers personally, and he should have spoken to Mae as well.

He should have taken her thoughts into consideration, before assuming what's best for her.

And he’s so ashamed of himself, that he doesn’t even find the courage to look at her. He failed her, he hurt her. The one person who’s cared for him selflessly. The one person who’s been gentle with him.

But if he did take a chance and meet her eyes, then he would see the sadness trapped in her insides.

Mae shifts her position, so her back faces Levi and he doesn’t see her cry.

There goes her heart beating faster again at the gesture. And there goes Levi, toying with her feelings once again.

At this point she’ll never get over him.

And Levi grimaces, as Mae keeps his cloak on the spot next to her instead of wearing it. An exhausted sigh escapes his mouth, and then he turns around and walks back to the cedar tree.

But he lets the cloak be, on the rock, just beside Mae. Just in case it gets too cold and she changes her mind.

His footsteps fade away and Mae shudders as another tear escapes her eye.

Every time Levi comes to her, the same question surfaces in her mind.

What about her bandaging his hand out of sheer concern made him feel cornered and pushed him into a state of violence?

What about her just trying to be a good friend and looking out for him, got on his nerves?

Was she being too annoying back then? Did he need more space? And did she fail in giving him that?

Because it's so annoying now, when he follows her back to her house everyday. Yeah, his intentions are good and he’s just protecting her, but she doesn’t want him here. She wants to stay away from him.

And she can’t help but think that maybe Levi felt the same way back then as well.

Her father always told her that it's in the toughest times that teach you the most.

And the past months have been so painful, if nothing she wants to learn something from it. She wants to come out a better person.

Nothing in her control is in her life anymore. She’s making money but it's not enough. She has a job but its not stable enough. And the one thing she was sure of that she would do, was forgetting Levi.

And even that seems impossible now that he’s always in front of her.

But the hate she has for him, is a poison in her own heart. And she doesn’t remember the last time she truly felt happy

Her face turns into distaste every time she sees him. And it's sad that she still has so much power over her. Enough to ruin her mood at the mere sight of him.

It's only now that Mae realizes that ever since her parents died she only found happiness in Levi. And he became the source of all her joy.

And it's time she takes control of her happiness. It's time she learns to make herself happy.

Maybe they were never meant to be, but one thing's for sure. Levi’s care wasn’t a pretense. It wasn’t an act he put up just to earn her favor. And maybe Hange was right all along. Maybe he does like her.

But the moment is long gone, and things have forever changed.

No feelings can undo what happened between them.

And she’ll learn to forgive him, but she’ll not let him in her life until he gives her a valid explanation for his actions that day. Not until he proves to her that violence isn’t something he goes to whenever he gets angry. That his violence isn’t a beast that he can’t tame.

The unknown is unfolding.

She doesn’t know where she’s headed, she doesn’t know where she’ll be a few months from now. And she doesn’t know what’s going to happen between her and Levi.

But the stars are twinkling brightly above her, and it reminds her of the words she told Levi on that starry night.

“There will always be so many things that are out of my control, but I just want to keep doing all that I can. I want to stand tall amidst all the chaos and I want to make the most of the limited time I have…”

The things that are happening are out of her control again. And she is trying her best. Once again it's time to make peace with it. It's time to heal.

And she’ll learn to be patient with the heart that she’s hated for so long. And maybe she’ll stumble on the path, make a mistake and flop down. But she’ll get up.

She has to get up.

The water gushes below her, moving through every obstacle its way.

And just like the water, she’ll learn to persevere.

She’ll learn to let go, and be carefree. She’ll learn to be light and to not take everything so seriously.

And she’ll adapt to every situation and find happiness no matter what.

And just like the ebbing water, she’ll go where the wind takes her. She’ll change, she’ll learn and she will have the faith that good things are coming for her.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

OCT 846

The sound of clinking glasses echoes through the illuminated halls of Tipsy Titan Hours. And the once cramped bar, mellows down as the moon rises higher and higher.

Raz glances back, her head whirling and eyes lagging, as she scans across the empty seats and tables for the millionth time. And once again her eyes are quick to land on the quiet table in the corner. ”My vision is hazy, but I'm ssure he's still starin' at ya.”

"...It doesn’t matter anymore.” Mae hisses as the cool metal of the jug meets her sodden lips. The golden beverage promptly washes down her throat, and a burning sensation now covers its trail.

She slams her jug on the desk, and rolls her head back in contentment, "my head hurt-sh... but 'tis feels good, to just forget for some time."

Glasses clink, and in a matter of seconds they are empty as well. Raz pushes herself up again. Hands propping against the stale table as she gets up to bring another beer bottle.

It's around 12. Working hours are close to an end, and perched on the center table are the waitresses, wasted.

Today has been a hectic day. A celebration marking the one year anniversary of Tipsy Titan Hours. Free drinks were served to everyone, and the bar was jam-packed for hours.

But now that roaring crowd has finally dulled, and the workers are free to have whatever they want as well. After all, it's their hard work that has also contributed to the success.

And so, Mae has been spending the past hour drinking. It's not something she would have done a few months back. But she is changing, and what is life if you don’t open yourself to new experiences?

Levi sighs with distaste, as he looks at her empty another mug down. The table she sits on is filled with blotches of alcohol. Fuck that, the entire tavern is so damn dirty, usually it just stinks of booze but today it stinks of sweat as well. Because of all the people who have danced here in their drunken state today.

And instead of cleaning all the shit up, the waitresses lay wasted. Gulping bottle after bottle themselves. Every inch of Levi’s body is telling him to leave and it's taking every ounce of resolve left in him to stay put in place.

Tch, if he knew that his life would end up like this, then he wouldn’t leave the underground in the first place.

He takes his eyes off the musty tavern and looks at the window next to him. Staring at the streets of Jinae, which are empty and quaintly silent.

He just hopes that Mae knows what she’s doing, and she isn’t wasting her life away.

Thoughts of her fill his head again, and he turns his head to watch that silly, drunken lady who captures all his heart.

But he only pots Raz. Mae’s seat is empty and he doesn’t see her around the other tables as well.

Levi's face contorts into a frown as worry swells up in his heart, and in an instant he gets up and marches towards Raz. "Where is she?"

"Uhm... to my left." Raz speaks blankly, and she swivels her head to the left. Only to be met with an empty seat again. "To my right then.”

“Your drunk as fuck," Levi jabs as he turns around and wanders through the dimly lit interior.

And Mae’s name tumbles out of his lips as soon as he spots her through the partly open bathroom door.

She’s on the floor, body hunched over the toilet seat, as violent fits make her lurch forward and empty the contents of her stomach out.

In a breath, he’s beside her, holding her soiled hair back as he stares at her face, flushed and sticky with sweat.

The bathroom is the filthiest of them all, and the stench of the washroom and alcohol, makes his nose crinkle in utter distaste. But more than that, it's Mae.

She reeks. Of sweat, ale, and vomit. And a dark crease runs along Levi’s forehead as his eyes hover over her face. It's a pity to see her in a condition like this.

Her brows are pulled close, and numerous lines of tension are forged between them. And her eyes are shut tight as soft pants leave her smeared, red lips.

And as filthy as she looks, she also looks like she is in pain. And so, his free hand finds its way to her back, rubbing long strokes, in an attempt to soothe her.

Mae looks at him solemnly. And Levi doesn't miss the slight downturn of her lips and how instantaneously her hand grips the wall for support as she tries to stand up.

Only to fall into his grasp once again.

"You can't even hold yourself upright,” he comments.

She throws a wary look his way and tries to free herself from his clutches. But Levi holds her upper arm in an iron grip. ”Don’t act so reckless, you’ll fall to the ground and hurt yourself”

But obviously she doesn’t listen and continues to struggle to take her arm out of his. “Levi,” she squirms as her brows scrunch up in frustration.

And Levi freezes, eyes wide and lips parted in fright. Shit, did he mess up again, was that way too harsh? Did he hurt her… again?

In an instant, he takes his hand away from her and staggers back, caught off guard by the thought and the horrible feeling it brings along.

Mae wobbles away from him, out of the bathroom. Towards Raz, who has dozed off on the sodden table itself. And Levi watches her figure slowly fade away. Because these days, all that he can seem to do is to watch her slip away from him, again and again.

"RAAZ-" Mae extols, raising her arms up excitedly and shaking it side to side, with much vigor. But her loud call hardly seems to rouse the other waitress from slumber.

Her speed increases, and her heel lands on a wet patch on the floor. Her foot slips due to her hasty pace. And Mae doesn't know what surprises her more, her embarrassing fall or the hands that instantly catch her entire frame.

Levi is beside her again, one arm around her waist and one around her shoulder, as he helps her up. And he’s glad that the crowd has completely simmered down, and now it's just him, Mae, Raz and the cashier.

It will save Mae from all the embarrassment she’ll have to deal with tomorrow, when she comes back to her senses.

“Mae, let's go home.” Levi’s voice is soft and imploring.

But she ignores him and continues moving forward. Pace still as fast as before. And it's only his support that’s holding her upright and not letting her topple to the floor. “Mae, you’re going to hurt yourself this way… please… let me take you home,” he continues.

“Leviii,” she drones out, “do you have to be so damn stubborn and persistent all the time… I wanna have fun.” she pouts. And Levi sighs defeatedly as he helps her sit on the tall bar stool.

Raz is asleep right beside her, and Mae's entire attention shifts to her. She pokes and prods at her colleague. Whining like a little child, asking for her to wake up and have another shot with her.

And Levi looks at her softly.

“Raz is fast asleep, how about you sleep as well?” He says as he slides the beer bottles to his side of the table.

All he wants for now is to keep her away from alcohol. She’s vomited once, and if she keeps having alcohol after that then it will just lead to her stomach getting worse. And it might also lead to alcohol poisoning or blackouts.

“You know you come in my dreams sometimes… and how do I know I’m not already asleep and you aren’t dream’ Levi?” Mae’s words slur as slowly turns her head towards him.

Levi‘s posture stiffens and warmth gathers to his cheek. His perpetual shyness floods back to him, and it's been so long since he has felt this way. His lips quirk up a little, reminiscing such moments that would happen so often in the past. And at the fact that she dreams of him…

And well he thinks of her too. She’s stuck in his mind and seated in the chambers of his heart. Like a guest who’s way too comfortable. Who’s found his place and will never go back home.

And just like he can’t tear his heart away from her, he can’t take his eyes off her as well.

Every part of Mae’s face is tinted red. Her eyes are red, her cheeks are red. And Levi is so dazed by the situation that he can’t even make out whether the reducing distance between them is just a stupid imagining of his heart. Or whether Mae is actually so drunk that she is leaning forward… to kiss him or something.

Then he feels her breath graze the slant of his nose. And he freezes, eyes wide and any intake of breath, halted.

“I’m gonna be wild tonight,” she says as she looks into his eyes. Face extremely close to his and her hand reaching out towards the beer bottles that he has stacked at the other end.

"W-what?" Levi almost topples off his chair, his ears flushing red as inappropriate scenarios fill his head. And god bless his quick instincts and his fingers, that clutch on to the table and help him balance himself.

"I am gonna drink till 1, and then I'm gonna dance till 2, which is why I can't go home now… you need to understand." She pleads with seriousness as she drags a bottle from his side to hers. And the sound of glass screeching against the wood, brings Levi back to his senses.

“Oi,” he warns as he snatches the bottle away from her and shakes his head.

“But Levi… I want more.” She pouts and he sighs to himself. She’s going to be in a horrible state tomorrow morning. Probably regretting everything and down with a nasty headache.

But she’s made her decision, even though in a shitty state. And he has crossed his boundaries once, but he’s not going to do that again. He has no right to tell her how to live her life, when he himself kicked her out of his.

And so he’ll protect her from the sidelines, he won’t impose his choices on her anymore. Because that is what caused all the mess in the first place.

So Levi watches, as she ruins herself. And he’s beside her, filling her glass with water whenever she reaches out for some beer. And he’s beside her, holding her hair back whenever she’s in the bathroom, vomiting. Even when it hurts to see her like this.

It's a little against his judgment, but he isn’t going to stop her from doing what she wants. As long as she is safe, he’s fine with it. And as long as he’s here, he’ll let nothing happen to her.

And as much as he’d say she’s in a pitiful and defenseless position right now, she’s smiling. And it's been so long since he has seen her like this. So lively and untroubled.

And so he’s beside her, ready to catch her whenever she gets up to dance.

He scans the tavern once more, checking for any dangerous objects that Mae might hurt herself with. And his eyes land on the cashier, who’s busy watching the both of them, instead of reading the damned novel in her hand. A string of curses fly out of his mouth at her prying eyes and her callous attitude, and he flashes her a disdainful look.

But then his eyes land back on Mae and they soften once again. She’s prancing around the tavern, halting at a chair, or speaking to a flower vase placed in a corner. Like a child, so bright and carefree. And it's been so long since he has seen her like this. Without any worry or a tear rolling down her cheek.

He would see this side of hers so often. In the days when she would share without thinking about how much she’s receiving in return. And when she would put hours of effort just to make him some pie to appreciate the small wins of his life.

It was the part of her that loved selflessly, that cared limitlessly. Without taking into account the cruel realities of the world… and of people. And he hurt her… He hurt the inner child that she so courageously showed him.

And even though it's completely his fault, he’s tired of seeing her hurting.

She smiles at everyone, but it never meets her eyes. And even though no one else might be able to tell the difference, Levi can see the sadness brimming inside her.

Even now, her cover of sadness is only broken due to temporary the haze of the alcohol.

But he’s glad nevertheless. He’s glad she can have a single moment of rest and he can have a moment of reprieve as well.

Mae reaches to his usual table, and lifts the tote bag he always carries around up. And Levi throws her a thumbs up in return, indicating she can do whatever she wants with it.

And she takes a red book out of it. The same red one that made him realize his feelings for her. The Fable of the Fallen Apple.

She shuffles towards him, and takes a seat on the bar stool next to him. And then she starts reading the story to him, just like the good old times.

It reminds him of the days when she used to tutor him, except she’s holding the book in the opposite direction.

And he looks at her, chin resting on his palm and fingers drumming against his cheek. Eyes as soft as possible.

He decides he likes it. Even though her words are slurring and things just hardly make sense.

It's been so long since she has been like this with him. Having a normal conversation and not caring what anyone else thinks,

And very soon this will also fade. The contempt in her eyes will be back, and her voice will be quelled with sadness again. And he’ll go back to watching her walk away from him. Again and again.

And so he stays in the moment today. Savoring every word she says and every breath she takes, so it doesn’t hurt as much when she’s gone.

Half an hour passes by and the cashier finally says that it's time to close the tavern now. That working hours are close to an end, and it's time to wind up and clean the place.

Levi gets up as soon as hears the words. And makes his way towards her with some money in his hand.

“Sir you don’t have to pay today,” she responds politely as Levi extends the cash forwards towards her.

“This…,” he throws her a stern look but no one can deny the ever darkening hue on his cheek. It's prominent even in the dim light.”... Is too keep your mouth shut about all that was happening today.”

“… And,” Levi continues. “Make sure she reaches home safe, that redhead who is fast asleep right there.” He points towards Raz, who’s now snoring in her slumber.

Mae rests there as well. Almost mimicking Raz's position as she rests her head on the table. Utterly exhausted with all the prancing she has done in the past hour.

His face softens in an instant.

Today she’s not here. The cautious, caring woman whose father told her to only drink in a safe place, with safe people. And today he’ll be gentle and patient, the man that he failed to be for her.

He walks over to her, and dotingly his hand lands on her shoulder. "Mae, let's go home."

She shifts her head towards him, and the slits of her eyes lazily open for a split second as she glances at him. But she remains quiet and offers him no response.

“The store is closing… we need to go home now.”

But the request garners no response again.

"Mae, please, let me take you to your house."

"B-but… I don't wanna go home. I don’t like it there." She mutters out slowly and he grimaces as the words leave her mouth.

The sound of footsteps coming close feels louder in the silence that settles between Levi and Mae. And the tension in the air only reduces when the cashier steps in, and stands next to Raz.

And Mae tries to get up as well, as she sees Raz being woken up. But she’s had so much alcohol that she can’t even stand on her own feet.

And Levi sees only one solution to the problem.

“We’ll go to the headquarters okay… that works for you?” He speaks out a little softer. He may not have the right to pry into her life anymore and know all her problems. But he’s still here for her, and he’ll still help her whatever way he can.

She hums in agreement, and slowly they make their way out of the musty tavern.

The streets are quiet, the night is dark. The light from the street lamps brings out the texture of that cobblestone path. And Mae’s front is pressed to Levi’s back as he carries her back to the Survey Corps headquarters. Giving her a piggyback ride.

Her calves sway along with every step he takes, and her face is beside his, so close that he can feel her breath in and out. A gush of air hits their face, and he breathes in a sigh of relief.

Finally he’s out of that filthy tavern and fresh air touches his face again.

“This feels awfully familiar doesn’t it Levi.” Mae mutters, voice low and hoarse from all the drinking she’s done with Raz today.

And Levi reminisces a little as he thinks of the day when those thugs attacked him. She stayed with him, begging and yelling that she won’t leave when he was repeatedly telling her he’d be fine on his own.

It is a memory he will cherish forever. “It does, except this time you are stinking.”

Mae falls quiet at his words and then she exhales heavily. “I really despise you sometimes Levi. You play with my heart in the worst ways possible.”

He falls quiet at her statement, and his shoulders wilt a little. A question lingers in the back of his head. One that he has been wanting to ask her forever. Do you hate me?... Because sometimes I hate myself too.

But she beats him to it.

“But I still can’t bring myself to hate you… I don’t think I could ever hate you… You saved me and then you hurt me. But you were you all along. It was me, who’s perception was distorted. It was me who clung to you because I thought I couldn’t do without you. I had low self esteem, I was lonely. And so I was the reason for all my heartache…” She pauses, and then her voice comes out much more sadder. ”I know I messed up and I should learn to find happiness all alone. I should have been more careful, less naive but it just hurts sometimes you know. …I’m never the first choice. Be it with Mr. Mendes, be it with you. I give all that I have in all my relationships. And every time someone else turns out to be more valuable than me…”

She lets out a sigh as she rests her chin on his clavicle and mutters,” I miss my parents so much. My friends as well. I don’t even know why I bothered staying. I should have just worn an olive cloak and offered myself to a titan.’ A sardonic laugh escapes her mouth.

And Levi frowns at the miserable joke. "Shut it, it's not funny. Don’t joke about dying to the titans.”

“I know I shouldn’t…” her voice cracks and somehow it turns more melancholic. “ But it’s so lonely without them, my family, my friends… Everything feels worthless.”

What she is saying right now, is what she feels in the depths of her heart. Things she knows she might be wrong for feeling. And thoughts she knows, that will get her nowhere.

These are the thoughts she doesn’t want to settle with, and the thoughts she’s always fighting against. These are things that she’s admitting in her drunken state.

And Levi wants to cower and hide. He’s never been good at consoling and shit, and he wants to act like she never said all these things. He wants to continue staying invulnerable and never get his feelings out.

But he also knows these feelings all too well. These feelings of loneliness. And he doesn’t want her to suffer all alone with them, just like he does.

“Also I am heartbroken but I’m not dumb. I’m only telling you all this because you are ‘dream’ Levi, and just my imagination…The actual Levi will never touch me in a state like this… I am absolutely filthy.” She starts rambling, and in all her chatter, Levi tries to compose himself.

And he can feel the heat gathering to his cheeks as he tries to force some words out. “L-listen M-Mae.”

It's hard. It doesn’t suit him and he's so unused to speaking out loud about his feelings. But he’s not going to let her feel miserable forever. He’s not going to succumb to his inner demons.

And he is going to comfort her with all the softness that remains in his heart. “You are not all a-alone… y-you might not consider it, b-but I am–.” He pauses again, to collect his thoughts, and calm himself.

The air is heavy. And Levi is fumbling and stuttering with the way he is expressing himself. And much to his relief the moment is broken by sudden taps on his shoulder.

.“Levi, something’s coming up… I can feel it.” Mae speaks with urgency.

And he almost freezes for a second. All thoughts of Mae and her loneliness simmer away, and for the first time in many years, Levi panics.

“NO NO NO,” He gets frantic, eyes wide as he scans every nook and corner. Then he spots a tree, at least 50 meters away and he darts towards it. “You need to control it, hold it in. HOLD IT IN.”

“Levi h-hurry,” her voice is strained, and Levi tries to move as fast as possible, also making sure that his speed doesn’t further dislodge the contents in stomach.

The air feels heavy again, but this is a different kind of heavy. Filled with a different kind of suspense.

The tree is just a few meters away, but alas Levi is too late.

“Le-” an ungraceful, hideous sound pierces through the air. Right out of Mae’s mouth into his ear “-vi.”

And Levi halts in his tracks, eyes wide and eyebrows raised up, taking a moment to process what just happened.

And it’s only after a minute that he comes back to his senses and sneers, “you just BURPED, in my ear.”

Nevertheless, he’s very glad it's just a burp and not vomit.

Mae is still for a moment, and then she slouches again, chest pressing fully against his back as her chin goes back to resting on his collarbone. “‘M sorry… but Hange says why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it.”

Laughter ripples past his lips. This time it isn't a stifled chuckle or a subtle giggle. But a loud obnoxious cackle. ”You and Hange… “ he speaks in between breaths. “You and Hange will be the death of me.”

And Mae smiles at his words as well. Because Hange is amazing and iconic.

Shops and houses pass by, as Levi resumes walking at his regular pace, and Mae’s eyes remain wide awake. Staring at all the stores, almost searching for something.

And then her eyes light up, when she spots a shop all too familiar. Decorated with creepers and veils climbing along its white walls. “Is the bakery open? Can we go inside it.”

“It's 1 in the morning, obviously they’ll keep it open for you.” Levi retorts with blatant sarcasm.

And she huffs against the crook of his neck in response. “I’ve not had a pastry in so long,” she drones out, and Levi frowns at her words. He vividly remembers how often she would have a pastry. Almost one every week because she's always been a firm believer of celebrating the small moments. And celebrating life in itself without any reason or accomplishment.

But he decides not to dwell on the topic any further, because it might make her upset.

“All that energy is finally depleting hmm? It’ll make you easier to handle… What’s got you so energetic today, anyways?” He asks, as he changes the subject.

“I’m happy! I had a lot of fun with Raz today.” Her voice lights up and even though Levi can’t see her face because of the position they are in. He knows that she is smiling with how sweet her voice sounds.

He smiles a little at that as well.

The rest of the journey passes by in silence. Mae closes her eyes and rests against Levi’s frame, and Levi listens to the thump of her heart against his chest . She’s so close to him, and she still stinks. But he’s glad nevertheless, He’s glad she had fun, and he’s glad he's getting to spend some time with her in so long.

In a way, all of this is wrong. She’s married and if she wasn't drunk she wouldn't let him touch her like that. But it's all going to fade away anyways. It will be ripped away from him just like everything is, and so he’ll stay while everything lasts, even if it's just for a day.

The headquarters come into sight. Time is running out, and a part of him doesn’t want to put her down. He wants to relish in her warmth that he's experiencing after so long.

But she needs rest, and she needs to sleep on a proper bed. So he enters the dim hallways and makes his way to his quarters.

His quarters are covered in darkness, with not a single candle flame flickering. But Levi knows this place as well as the back of his hand.

He places Mae on the couch, and quickly makes his way around to light a few candles.

And if Mae was in her senses she would have noticed that his room isn’t as clean as it used to be. The tea bags are hastily left on the kitchen counter, the bedsheet isn’t creaseless anymore. And what adds to it, is the stacks of paperwork piled both on his desk and even inside a few shelves.

But the alcohol rests heavy in her system, and her eyelids are shut close in exhaustion. She sighs in relief, finally a soft, comfortable surface to rest upon.

Much to her dismay, she is woken up by the sudden cool feeling that touches her skin. Her eyes open partially and Levi stands in front of her with a wet towel in his hands. “Levi let me sleep, what are you doing?” She calls out in frustration.

“It's not good to sleep with so much product on, not good for your skin… And your dress is stained everywhere, you are not sleeping on my bed with that on.”

But Mae feels so drowsy that she hardly listens to him. Her eyes close midway, heavy with sleep and she sits still on the couch, completely unbothered with whatever Levi is doing.

And Levi stands in front of her, dipping down from his back, as he scans her face. And cupping her jaw as he holds her face straight.

If only she’d open her eyes, she would see how close he is. She would see the red on his cheeks. And if only she wasn’t this sleepy, she would have felt how clammy his hands are, due to nervousness.

He takes in a deep breath and his hands quiver as he roves the towel over her eyelids. With all the gentleness that he can garner in his hardened fingertips. And as the makeup comes off from her skin, he sees the dark circles that now encircle her eyes, and skin that looks so dull and lifeless, filled with acne

And his silver eyes flock with concern as he stares at her a little longer.

She looks battered, like a worn out soldier who’s been strong for too long.

And she’s here, because she didn’t want to go home. She doesn’t like it there. The thought itself fills Levi’s mind with rage and fear.

And all that he knows for sure is that he is going to beat the shit out of her piece of a shit husband.

"Is your husband treating you like shit?" he asks, with his voice drawn taut and jaw clenched.

"What husband?" she mumbles incoherently.

And Levi sighs, as he looks at her and her passed out state. He gets up defeated, and picks the comb he brought along as well. And then he moves behind the couch and positions himself behind Mae’s seated figure. “Straighten up, I’ll comb your hair.”

She gives in thoughtlessly, and it's only when Levi sees the clumps of hair that fall out of her head, does he notice how thin her hair has gotten.

He realizes he hasn't seen her properly in months, and now he sees her on the verge of breaking.

He gets visibly sadder at the thought, and in a mere attempt to distract himself he gets up and stands in front of her again. Wrapping both of his hands around her upper arms as he says, “come I-I’ll help y-you g-get changed.”

Mae’s sleepy eyes open wide at that, and a new found energy grips her voice. “NO, thank you mister, I can change by myself.”

“You can’t even stand.” Levi mutters, as he gets her up to her feet, hands still clutching on to her so that she doesn’t drop to the floor.

“As far as my brain tells me,” she says, tapping her index finger to her temple, “standing and changing clothes are two completely different things.”

And Levi looks at her incredulously, almost taken aback by her stupidity. “Tch, you are so drunk,” he grumbles.

And Mae gets quiet for a moment, before she says. "I'm not drunk, I'm beautiful."

Levi looks up at her as she says those words. Her skin is now clean and fresh, ridden of the smudged makeup that once dawned on her face. And the ponytail she wears, gives him a full view of her tired eyes that burn with boldness and conviction.

Indeed very beautiful.

"My face is not disgusting," she continues, as her eyes bore into his. But Levi doesn’t miss the slight tremor of her lips.

His face falls and his heart sinks into a pit of disgrace.

Those were the words he'd told her, weren't they?

All of a sudden he’s reminded of who he is, and what he’s done. And it's only now that he understands how he has hurt her. With every look and every word.

His throat runs dry and he finds himself unable to speak a word, without disintegrating.

The silence becomes agonizing. And Levi backs away, as he realizes that if he looks at her any longer, then he will break. Into bits and pieces. Because more than her husband, he’s a reason for the condition she’s in as well.

He takes slow steps backwards, unable to take his eyes off the floor and meet hers.

He needs a distraction. He needs to think about something else. And so he darts towards his bedroom, and finds his way to his cupboard. Opening it and absent mindedly pulling out a shirt and a trouser.

And when he stands in front of Mae, he’s back to being aloof. It has always been like this, a moment of defenselessness until he shrouds behind his mask of nonchalance.

"Go change," he places the clothes in her hands and struts away. Giving in to her demands even though she’s probably going to trip and fall. But also, a little too scared to displease her any more than he’s already done.

"Levi, wait," Mae’s hand latches onto his wrist. "I don’t want this…want the gray one… The v neck, it is my faaavourite on you.”

His face softens at the words and that’s all it takes for his mask of indifference to fade, once again.

There's a child in her, and he hopes she can always keep it alive. He hopes it doesn’t wither away in the cruelty of life, like the child in him did.

His cheeks turn pink again as he glances at the shirt she is holding out, because she wants his gray one. And he makes a mental note to buy more in the same color.

As quick as ever, he gives in to her request, and hands her the gray shirt she demands.

At that her eyes squint and she flashes him the same smile that always takes his breath away. The same smile that makes him feel like he’s the reason behind all her joys. His cheeks turn pinker at the thought.

No one’s ever smiled at him the way she does. No one has looked at him with such warmth and affection. And he’s glad that he can see her smile like this one last time.

A part of him doesn’t want to leave. A part of him doesn’t want to go away so that she can change her clothes. A part of him doesn’t want to be apart from her a single second more.

But he’s wronged her a little too much, to still be around her. A little too much to still crave her company.

And so he walks her to his room, lights a candle there as well and ambles away. Because even though his heart gravitates towards Mae, he isn’t a man capable of love.

The office seems silent now that she is cooped up in his room. And Levi lets out a heavy exhale as he walks towards the small kitchenette placed at the adjacent wall.

He brews himself a cup of tea, and takes a seat on his desk. Eyes glazing over the stack of paperwork piled in front of him. Somehow, the familiarity of it all calms his nerves and he takes a sheet out and starts with his paperwork.

And he waits, for the sound of Mae collapsing to the floor, or the gate opening and her wobbly figure leaning on to the doorframe.

He waits, and he waits but she doesn’t come out.

And drunks are so annoying, he prays that he never has to deal with them again.

Time ticks out, curiosity gets the best of him, and he walks to his room.

And when he opens the door, he’s met with the sight of her resting on his bed and the faint sound of her snores.

The candlelight kept on his side table casts dancing shadows across her sleeping figure. Her mouth is slightly parted, and her hair is strewn messily on the pillow. And Levi can’t help but hold a breath in as he stares at the way she looks so relaxed and peaceful;..

Then he pushes her towards the center of the bed, lest she fall and crack her head open. He tucks her in a blanket and places two pillows at her side just for protection. And finally he blows the candle off.

And as he looks back at her, he doesn’t know why he has the sudden desire to touch her.

His motion stutters, and his fingers tremor as they reach towards her head.

His mother would often pat his head when he had difficulty sleeping, but Mae is already asleep. So why does he have the sudden, irrational desire to caress her head?

And Levi doesn’t know indulgence.

But he knows that the sun will rise tomorrow, and he will be blackened by his own regrets. Unable to face her because now he knows that he has probably left her, even unsafer, in an unhappy marriage. Now he knows how much he has hurt her. And now he knows how miserable she really is.

It feels like their last night together. Because tomorrow she'll be gone, back to ignoring him. And he’ll go back to the miserable person who mourns the loss of that love that he himself destroyed. With his own two hands.

Levi doesn’t know indulgence, because everything he cherishes always ends up getting torn apart from him.

But he has lost her already. She has been ripped away already.

And so he rests his hand on her head. And so he roves his palm over her head. Looking at her dotingly, caressing her gently. His heart beats wildly, and for once he lets it win over

She looks peaceful now that she is asleep. Far different from the exhausted face she sports all the time in that filthy bar. And he drinks all of her details in for one last time.

He wants to look at her more, the desire only seems to deepen the more he stares at her face. He wants to be next to her the entire night.

And so Levi shifts his desk into the cramped space of his bedroom. As quietly as possible. And he lights up a candle as he sits down to do his paperwork. Right next to her sleeping figure.

Author's Note:

Okay! So with this we are done with half of the chapters for this fic.

This chapter is kinda bittersweet, I don't know how happy I am with this chapter honestly, because it has gotten too long and it might have some cringe moments, but I just wanted to show how close Mae and Levi are and what there bond was once like.

Also in the first scene, Mae has a realization that she needs to start working towards and in the 2nd scene, a month later she still hasn't been able to implement it completely yet. Its like you know you should love yourself, but you still find it hard to.

And that realization will come to her, but LATER on, not in the recent chapters for sure.

Also the line 'why fart and waste it, when you can burp and taste it' is not something my brain has come up with, i don't have that kind of genius-ness lol🤡. Its taken from a bollywood movie Queen, which I definitely recommend, because its a pretty good watch.

Another thing I want to mention is that its highly likely I'll take a few weeks off again, after I finish this arc, because I don't have enough content written to keep up with my writing schedule. And I don't want to write fast and compromise on the quality of the chapters, because I really want to give my best shot with this fic, and it takes me time to come up with good metaphors and ideas that I can put into the scenes. I'll completely address this situation next week.

Thank you reading! I hope you liked it. As always I appreciate any comments, questions and criticism as well. See you next Sunday

Taglist: @keijikunn @evas-leslas @leviackermanmyhero245

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sunset-embers-warriors-designs · 3 years

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I have several ideas about how I would have written Starclan’s function in warriors and I MUST write them down I must express them. I have two different ideas, one in which I maintain the canon fact that Starclan cats can fade/be killed, and another in which I do away with the fading thing.

First, a few things I would want for Starclan regardless of whether or not the spirits can fade:

- All cats, regardless of the age they die at, are given a full warrior name. Kits or apprentices who die early are either named by their leaders at their vigil and carry that name to Starclan, or they’re named by Starclan spirits.

- After a leader dies, the -star suffix is removed and they return to using their warrior suffix as a Starclan spirit. Perhaps the -star suffix is given up right at the moment of death, or the -star suffix is given up after the leader ceremony of the succeeding leader to indicate an official transfer of leadership.

- The point behind everyone having a warrior name in Starclan as opposed to any of the “determined by status” suffixes (kit/apprentice/leader) is to further express that all cats are equal in Starclan. There aren’t any clan borders in Starclan’s hunting grounds, and neither should there be different ranks.

No Fading Starclan:

- Cats in No Fading Starclan are given otherworldly wisdom upon entering Starclan, regardless of the age of the cat. All of Starclan shares the same knowledge of the past/present/future.

- However, this knowledge takes a form such that Starclan aren’t able to express it to the living in clear and understandable ways, which is why they speak in riddles when delivering prophecies. Like Starclan is trying to translate some kind of language of the universe into meows and at most it does like a google translate quality.

- Individual Starclan cats each have a limited amount of spiritual/magical energy which they can use to interact with the living world. The longer the clans all exist, the more manpower Starclan has, which explains why their abilities from arc 1 to arc 4 grow from “clouding over the moon during gatherings” to “entering the living realm to fight a ghost battle.”

- Similarly, the Dark Forest spirits have their own kind of energy that grows the more cats they have in their realm. However, as a punishment for their sins, they don’t get their godly wisdom, and their ability to reach out to the living is a little foggy. They ARE, however, able to latch on to cats who have negative energy surrounding them, and will try to bring troubled souls into their ranks prior to their deaths so they can gain more energy when those cats DO die.

- In this AU, spirits can’t be killed, so the Starclan/Dark Forest battle ghost casualties (Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, Spottedleaf) will not have died. Instead, the buildup to the battle is the Dark Forest attempting to take power from Starclan by reaching out en masse to the troubled living cats with the end goal of “replacing” or at least being on par with Starclan in terms of power, in order to maybe fight their way into the good afterlife or continue reeking havoc as revenge on Starclan/the living. The battle itself is then the Dark Forest’s attempt to overthrow Starclan and gain control over the living clans to ensure they stay in power. Ivypool’s role of convincing her fellow Dark Forest trainees to fight for their clans/Starclan instead then takes away the power the Dark Forest had built up for itself, and having this rejection of the Dark Forest’s influence become a part of the clan’s history/culture keeps the Dark Forest from rising back up. Not to mention, the Dark Forest having used to much energy to manifest and do battle will have left them drained, especially after their defeat, and even if Dark Forest cats have the ability to replenish their individual powers somehow, it would take a long time to do it.

- Spottedleaf continues to exist, as previously mentioned, but as a general rule in every single one of my AUs she and Firestar aren’t romantically interested in one another at all. The only interest Spottedleaf would ever have had in Firestar was because the “Fire Alone Will Save Our Clan” prophecy was Her prophecy, she was the one to interpret it, and she felt responsible to see it through even after her death. When Firestar dies in the battle, Spottedleaf feels that her role in that prophecy is finally through and she just does regular Starclan cat things like climbing starry trees and eating ghost mice.

- In the case of the great battle, spirits who have manifested on the physical plane I think should still have the ability to kill the living, so the deaths in the great battle still happen just for the sake of being consistent with who’s alive in what arc.

- Also regarding the great battle, perhaps Tigerstar’s spirit can kill Firestar’s mortal form, gloat about it, but then Firestar’s spirit rises up and with his Starclan Spirit Powers he takes Tigerstar down. I just think that would have been cool.

Fading Starclan:

- In Fading Starclan, there are actually two levels of Starclan, but the living clans only KNOW about one. The living clans know Lower Starclan, the Starclan made up of recently dead/not-faded spirits who impart the prophecies onto the living. Lower Starclan are Also recipients of the prophecies they then translate to the clans, but they don’t fully understand them and believe these premonitions to be coming from some essence of the universe.

- In fact, the prophecies are first foretold by Upper Starclan, which is made up of the energies of the faded spirits. Upper Starclan spirits, since they’re faded, lack the identities they had in life and are more accurately interpreted as a hivemind. Like a God with a million faces. Upper Starclan are the ones who block the moon with clouds, control the weather, and do stuff like set fires in the living world to impart prophecy.

- Lower Starclan functions more like a transitional spiritual plane. It’s a place for the spirits to rest from their mortal lives, and then eventually shed their previous personalities and ascend. Lower Starclan being given the prophecies first to then give to the living gives the living cats more reason to listen, because these messages are coming from spirits who are still personable and likely cats who the living interpreters knew and respected in life.

- The Dark Forest is a place to hide away the spirits of cats who would impede on the goals of Upper Starclan. They eventually fade away too and are permitted into Upper Starclan because they’re no longer a threat without their mortal memories/personalities getting in the way of their roles as God(s).

- The Tribe of Endless Hunting’s spirits also fade away into Upper Starclan because the two groups have the same origin. Like Endless Hunting and Lower Starclan manifested because of the split in the groups and Upper Starclan just said “Okay We can work with this”

- True Reincarnations only occur when an Upper Starclan spirit returns to a mortal form. Jay’s Wing, Lion’s Roar, and Dove’s Wing’s spirits had all faded into Upper Starclan but were reborn as new mortals in order to fulfill the Power of Three Prophecy. This also explains why they have “the power of the stars”, they were part of the Cat God Collective prior. Cinderpelt/Cinderheart was a “reincarnation” that was NOT sanctioned by Upper Starclan, which is why Cinderpelt and Cinderheart have separate souls.

- The reason the Power of Three thing happened was because Upper Starclan saw their Dark Forest Timeout corner spirits being naughty and worried that those spirits weren’t as out of the way and not hurting their goals as previously presumed. The battle was orchestrated to reinstate faith in Starclan and have some of the more troublesome Dark Forest Spirits fade so they would stop causing trouble. Technically, Tigerstar, Brokenstar, and Hawkfrost are all part of Upper Starclan after the great battle, but none of them have those identities anymore, or at the very least, those identities are not “in use.”

- The only spirits that can walk in Both Upper and Lower Starclan are legendary/historical figures like the clan founders and probably other significant cats who have legends made of their life experiences.

- Goosefeather, by some mistake or intention(?) was granted a mental connection to Upper Starclan instead of just Lower Starclan like other medicine cats, which is why his visions were so intense and so far into the future, and just the sheer number of them. He could see Lower Starclan spirits as well like Beetail because I guess if you can connect to Upper Starclan than Lower Starclan is just a side effect.

- Spiresight and Shadowsight might also have this connection to Upper Starclan? Idk I can’t decide. Shadowsight did as a kit at least, but perhaps Upper Starclan decided to chill after seeing how poorly Goosefeather’s connection turned out for him.

- Upper Starclan’s concept otherwise is very vague. Their goals seem to be to ensure the continuation of the clans, which ensures their growth and power, but power for what reason? idk what to do with that

Since the Broken Code arc isn’t complete at this time I’m not sure what direction I wanna take for either Fading or Not Fading Starclan to explain Starclan’s disappearance or Ashfur’s ability to mess with other spirits... perhaps in the Fading version, Ashfur is the one Lower Starclan cat to discover Upper Starclan and figures out how to tap into his full spiritual ability before shedding his mortal personality and uses this to cause chaos. idk what to say for Not Fading rn tho

#warriorcats #warrior cats #warrior cats headcanon #warrior cats au #starclan #power of three #omen of the stars #the broken code

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user-2-electric-boogaloo · 3 years

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A Comparison of RTD and Steven Moffat: Saving The Day

So for this analysis I’m going to compare when Moffat and RTD save the day well and when they save it poorly. There are a few bits of criteria I need to explain.

First I will only be including main series, no Torchwood, no spin-offs, and no mini episodes.

Second, I have to define what makes a good and a bad ending (my examples will come from episodes written by neither of them):

Bad endings include when the sonic saves the day (see The Power Of Three) (there are exceptions, see below), when a character spouts some useless technobabble that doesn’t make any scientific sense/when it doesn’t make logical sense in general, when the Doctor invents/presents a machine/equipment that miraculously stops the baddy and is never referred to again (see Journey To The Centre Of The TARDIS), and any other ending I deem to be bad (see The Vampires of Venice)

Good endings include when the sonice activates a device that has been well established to save the day, when technobabble is used that actually makes some scientific sense, and just generally when the baddy is destroyed in what I deem to be a creative manner that makes sense with all the things that had been set up in that episode (see The Unquiet Dead).

There will also be cases where there isn’t really a day to be saved, however this happens more often with Moffat.

Let us begin (obviously there will be spoilers but the last episode in the list aired nearly 4 years ago so what you doing with your life).

RTD:

Rose: Bad

What even is anti-plastic?! Like seriously, he’s faced the Autons loads of times and has never thought to use it any other time.

The End Of The World: Bad

The Doctor just goes up to the appearance of the repeated meme (ha meme) and rips its arm off. He then just summons Cassandra back by twisting a knob which apparently everyone can do if “you’re very clever like me”.

Aliens Of London/World War Three: Good

Just nuking them all was a bit dodgy but I’ll give it to him purely because it had been set up earlier in the episode and it is a genuine option that could have been taken.

The Long Game: Good

The heating issue was set up within 2 minutes of the episode starting. It’s always good to see the Doctor using his enemies weakness against them.

Boom Town: Good

Only just. It’s technology that hadn’t been showcased ever before and came out of nowhere, but I’m allowing purely because it was setting up The Parting Of The Ways.

Bad Wolf/The Parting Of The Ways: Good

See above. It was set up the story before so it works.

The Christmas Invasion: Bad

This was so close to being good. If RTD had just let the Sycorax leader be honourable then everything would have been fine. Instead he had to let him be dishonourable and then the Doctor through the Satsuma at a random button that for no apparent reason caused a bit of floor to fall away.

New Earth: Bad

It only makes sense if you think about it for less than 10 seconds as just pouring every cure to every disease ever into a giant tub and then spraying said supercure onto them all, then having them hug each other to pass it on. That is suspending my disbelief just a bit too far.

Tooth And Claw: Good

Everything is set up in the episode so I’ll allow it but I fail to see how Prince Albert had the time to ensure that the diamond was cut perfectly.

Love And Monsters: Bad

It’s Love And Monsters. Need I say more?

Army of Ghosts/Doomsday: Good

It was very clearly set up throughout the episode.

The Runaway Bride: Bad

I don’t like how a few bombs can supposedly drain the entire Thames.

Smith And Jones: Good

All the events were well established

Gridlock: Good

It’s a fairly bland way to save the day, just opening the surface to all the drivers. But how else could he have done it?

Utopia/The Sound Of Drums/Last Of The Time Lords: Bad

As much as I like the idea that he tuned himself into the archangel network, he basically turned into Jesus. It is arguably the least convincing ending in modern Doctor Who history.

Voyage Of The Damned: Bad

Why was he the next highest authority? If he’s the highest authority in the universe why didn’t they default to him in the first place? If not then why not default to Midshipman Frame? And if he’s somehow in between them then why? Also Astrid killed herself for no reason when she easily could have jumped out of the forklift.

Partners In Crime: Good

It works in the context of the episode, but I don’t see why they needed two of the necklace things.

Midnight: Good

It’s human nature, you can’t get more well set up than that.

Turn Left: Good

It works logically

The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End: Bad

Donna just spouts a load of technobabble whilst pressing buttons and then the Daleks are magically incapacitated.

The Next Doctor: Bad

Why do the infostamps sever Hartigan’s connection with the Cyberking? As far as I remember it ain’t explained.

Planet Of The Dead (co-written with noted transphobe Gareth Roberts): Good

A good couple scenes are dedicated on getting the anti-gravs set up.

The Waters Of Mars (co-written with Phil Ford): N/A

The day isn’t really saved cause everyone still dies anyway.

The End Of Time: Good

Using a gun to destroy a machine is much better than using the sonic to destroy it.

Summary for RTD:

Out of 24 stories written by him, I deem 10 to be bad endings with 1 abstaining. That’s 41.7% of his episodes (43.5% if we don’t count any abstaining).

Steven Moffat:

The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances: Good

You’ll see this a lot with Moffat, he knows how to explain things without stupefying levels of technobabble. “Emailing the upgrade” is a perfect example of this.

The Girl In The Fireplace: Good

Some basic logic, the androids want to repair their ship, but they can’t return to it, they no longer have a function so they shut down.

Blink: Good

Always loved this one, getting the angels to look at each other, however they do look at each other sometimes earlier in the episode.

Silence In The Library/Forest Of The Dead: Bad

This is more of a problem with the setup of the episode, I don’t like that he can negotiate with the Vashta Nerada. I’d rather see them comprehensively beaten, but I guess it’s good for the scare factor that they can’t be escaped from.

The Eleventh Hour: Good

He convinced the best scientists all around the world to set every clock to 0 all in less than an hour. In the Doctor’s own words “Who da man!”

The Beast Below: Good

The crying child motif pretty much ended up saving the day (well for the star whale, life went on as normal for pretty much everyone else).

The Time Of Angels/Flesh And Stone: Good

The artificial gravity had briefly been set up earlier so I’ll allow it.

The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang: Good

Everything had been set up perfectly, the vortex manipulator, the Pandorica’s survival field thingy, the TARDIS exploding at every moment in history.

A Christmas Carol: Good

Literally the entire episode is the Doctor saving the day by convincing Kazran not to be a cock.

The Impossible Astronaut/Day Of The Moon: Good

The silence’s ability to influence people is their whole thing, so using it against them is a good Doctory thing to do.

A Good Man Goes To War: N/A

The day isn’t really saved, Melody is lost, but River shows up at the end so is all fine? I love the episode it’s just the day isn’t really truly saved (yes I know Amy was rescued but she still lost her baby).

Let’s Kill Hitler: N/A

There isn’t really a day to be saved. They all get out alive but no one is really saved other than maybe River but we all knew she was gonna live anyway.

The Wedding Of River Song: Good

Whilst opinion is divided on the episode, the ending still works. the Tesseracta was established in Let’s Kill Hitler, and the “touch River and time will move again” was established well in advance.

The Doctor, The Widow And The Wardrobe: Bad

I don’t like how the lifeboat travels through the time vortex for no reason but to rescue the dad. It don’t make no sense and I don’t think it’s explained

Asylum Of The Daleks: Good

Oswin had access to the Dalek hive mind so of course she should be able to link into the controls and blow everything up.

The Angels Take Manhattan: Good

Paradoxes really do be something powerful, and they even acknowledge how nobody knows if it’d work so I’ll let it slide.

The Snowmen: Bad

Lots of people cry at Christmas, why are the Latimers anything special?

The Bells of Saint John: Good

The whole episode is about hacking so why shouldn’t the Doctor be able to hack the spoonheads

The Name Of The Doctor: Good

It was the story arc for the season pretty much, so of course it was explained well in advance.

The Day Of The Doctor: Good

Both the storing Gallifrey like a painting and the making everyone forget if they’re Human or Zygon works in the context of the episode.

The Time Of The Doctor: Bad

Since when were the Time Lords so easily negotiated with?

Deep Breath: Good

I like the dilemma over whether the half-face man was pushed or jumped.

Into The Dalek: Good

It’s set up well with this new Doctor’s persona of actually not being too nice of a guy (at first).

Listen: N/A

There isn’t a day to be saved. It’s just 45 minutes of the Doctor testing a hypothesis and I low-key love it.

Time Heist (co-written with Steven Thompson): Good

It works logically so I’ll allow it however it isn’t very well set up at all.

The Caretaker (co-written with noted shithead Gareth Roberts): Good

The machine to tell the Blitzer what to do was set up well in advance so I’ll allow it.

Dark Water/Death In Heaven: Good

The fact that Danny still cares even as a cyberman is set up fairly early on after his transformation.

Last Christmas: Good

He does use the sonic to wake up Clara but he convinces the others to wake up through talking so I’ll allow it.

The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar: Good

It’s set up well with that little scene from actually inside the sewers.

The Girl Who Died (co-written with Jamie Mathieson): Good

IDK why the vikings would randomly keep electric eels but they’re set up well so I’ll ignore it.

The Zygon Inversion (co-written with Peter Harness): N/A

Not including this one as it’s only the second part and I’d argue the ending is most likely Harness’.

Heaven Sent/Hell Bent: N/A

Again there isn’t really a day to be saved, yes Heaven Sent really is amazing but it’s only the first part and, being completely honest, he dies several billion times before finally getting through the wall.

The Husbands Of River Song: N/A

Again there isn’t really a day to be saved here.

The Return Of Doctor Mysterio: Good

He gets Grant to catch the bomb which is good. But he does just sonic the gun out of Dr Sim’s hand and says UNIT is on its way which just sort of wraps it up very quickly.

The Pilot: N/A

No day to be saved here.

Extremis: Good

You could technically call it the sonic saving the day, I consider it to be the Doctor emailing the Doctor to warn him of the future.

The Pyramid At The End Of The World: Good

The fire sanitising everything makes sense and it’s in character for Bill to love the Doctor enough to cure his blindness in return for the world

World Enough And Time/The Doctor Falls: Good

Yes it is the sonic just blowing the cybermen up, but it’s blowing them up with well established pipelines so I’ll allow it (also the story is amazing).

Twice Upon A Time: N/A

No day to be saved here. Just Doctors 1 and 12 getting angsty about regenerating.

Summary for Steven Moffat:

Out of 39 stories written by him, I deemed 4 to be bad with 7 abstaining. That’s 10.3% of his episodes (12.5% if we don’t count any abstaining).

Conclusions:

Moffat was much better at saving the day than RTD

Moffat liked telling stories where the day didn’t actually need to be saved

I’ve spent way too long on this and I need to sleep

If I spent as much time on this as my coursework I’d probably pass

If you’re still reading this, you probably need to get a life

#doctor who #steven moffat #rtd #in case you can't tell I really don't like RTD #Remember the Superwholock days when everyone ripped the shit out of Moffat #what am I doing with my life #tardis #rose tyler #martha jones #donna noble #amy pond #rory pond #rory williams #river song #clara oswald #Bill Potts

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highladyluck · 3 years

Text

Mat/Tuon meta: Will He/Won’t He (Stage A Military Coup)

Back on my Mat/Tuon meta horse! This is about why Tuon is absolutely convinced Mat won't mount a military coup against her, and under what circumstances he just might, actually. Obviously, ‘ware series spoilers. The personal/political dynamic Mat and Tuon have at the end of the series continues to fascinate me. Tuon is well aware that Mat’s prince-consort position, Prince of the Ravens, is a position that could lead a military coup against her leadership; she knows all about the power struggle that imperialist, expansionist government leaders face with respect to their armies and the generals that lead the armies. She also knows at this point that Mat specifically has the skillset to pull that kind of thing off; he has demonstrated political skill even if he's not used to Seanchan customs (she noted that the way he diffused tension in the hell boded well for his ability to handle Seanchan court politics), he quickly inspires personal trust and loyalty in his troops regardless of what troops he's actually leading (see: when he meets back up with the Band in the Altaran wilderness, plus how quickly her own armies took to him), and of course he is brilliant at tactics and strategy (see: the entire series starting at book 4). She is also *certain* that he won't actually use that power against her. He has shown her personal loyalty on numerous other occasions, and Tuon's entire brand and survival strategy is generating personal loyalty due to her power (or potential power), skills, and personal integrity. She knows what personal loyalty looks like and she knows how it works. She's a little appalled at herself for not being afraid of Mat staging a coup, and she even thinks that it's probably not good for her or the empire to *not* be constantly threatened by her top military commander, because she's been conditioned to believe that external threats keep her sharp and focused- but she absolutely does trust him not to be a threat to her. Which is wild!!! You have to understand how wild this is!

Tuon previously only trusted her personal safety to people she thoroughly controls- Selucia, Karede, her damane. She does have a kind of control over Mat, but it's not based on anything she's done or her position, it's based on his personality and choices, and I don't think she thinks she controls him. (I think she believes she has authority over him, and that's at least somewhat true, but that's much different from the total control she has over enslaved people, or even the political control she has over the Blood.) She does also trust people she doesn't entirely control- the people who are almost her peers- but notably she doesn't trust them not to hurt her. She trusts that they'll act in ways benefiting their own self-interest or the interest of the empire, which could mean they might hurt her.

Mat, on the other hand, she trusts not to hurt her except accidentally, by making choices that have implications for her standing. (That's what all the manners lessons are about, she's trying to protect him so he doesn't leave her exposed.) Again, THIS IS WILD. Tuon’s an autocratic empress raised under the threat of assassination from birth, she has MAJOR trust and control issues, and here is someone she does not fully control but whom she implicitly trusts not to physically or even intentionally harm her. Do you think she's ever had that experience in her life before? I can't see how she would have. I think there's room to explore this in a way that would be therapeutic for Tuon, but it's also an extremely tempting vulnerability to exploit narratively. Either way, it's fascinating. So what's Mat's motivation not to harm Tuon, and how much of it does Tuon know? It's both a character thing and a situational thing, and I think Tuon knows about some of it, but not all of it, and she also has some major blind spots about what Mat is capable of. Mat won't intentionally harm her for a couple of general character reasons: he's in love with her, which she knows about and is like 'weird flex, but ok'; I don't know if she really knows how to parse it tbh. Also, because he won't kill a woman, which she knows about and is like 'this dumbassery is going to get my himbo straight-up murdered; however, it's kinda cute'. Also, because he has a saving-people-especially-women-thing, which she may or may not know about; I forget whether it came up in any of her surreal chats with Mat's childhood friends, but even if it did she may not know enough to give it proper context in his motivations, or understand how truly generalized it is. He's also promised to protect her from harm in the past, and while that may have been a time-/situation-limited thing, she's seen that he keeps his promises, assuming he gave the promise in earnest. So while he hasn't necessarily made such a promise recently, she knows that he keeps his word and that's something she values as a mark of integrity and a reason to trust someone. The other reasons she trusts him are more down to circumstances: the Last Battle had him temporarily siding with the Seanchan against their common enemy, the Dark One. I think Tuon's aware that he's not fully committed to the Empire yet, but possibly she doesn't realize the extent to which he is ambivalent, or she thinks it's the kind of thing they can compromise on, like the uniform design, rather than a fundamental disconnect in goals. Or she thinks that once he understands what his responsibilities are, he'll absorb himself into the role the way she has, which is... uh... rather optimistic of her, but we all have our blind spots. Finally, I don't think Mat's fully realized that a military coup (which would likely look like a situation where he spares Tuon's life but gets her off the throne) is an option for him. Or, it's occurred to him, but the circumstance has not yet come up that would justify him taking that path. And I do *not* think Tuon has considered this! She might think he knows that the Prince of Ravens is traditionally a threat to the Empress, but I don't recall that she's actually said that to him. And I don't think she sees a difference between her not being Empress and her being dead- she's conflated 'being in power' with 'staying alive' literally her entire life, and she probably thinks any situation where she's not Empress but still alive, if it's even possible, would be so shameful/painful it would be better to be dead. So it wouldn't occur to her that one outcome of a coup would be to replace her as government head but still keep her alive. And Mat hasn't yet faced a situation where he might have major ethical issues with not just the structure of the army but also the goals of it. (Even his iconic ‘I am accidentally leading an army despite really not wanting to lead an army, because I can’t let these dumbasses get killed’ move was ethically consistent, since he was just trying to run away/save people.) And, as I will never shut up about, he’s done literal war crimes to achieve his goals before- he didn’t stop to give aid after he ambushed the Seanchan in the Altaran forest, even though Teslyn specifically says this is against Randland military convention. And given Mat’s early canonical history of being railroaded into leading military campaigns, I don’t think Mat’s going to balk at leading the Seanchan army just because he doesn’t like the Seanchan empire, though it will matter what specifically he’s asked to do with it and why. I think Mat's way more likely to be willing to lead the reunification of Seanchan than to deal with local Westlands slave uprisings or rebellion. You're going to hit his moral breaking point a lot sooner if there's domestic civil crises. An actual slave revolt or rebellion would get hit with military force, and Mat says as much to Beslan so he's well aware that he'd be, if not in charge, certainly culpable for the Seanchan government response to it. (They might try to prevent it from happening at all with Seekers; but Seekers are mostly focused on the Blood, I think, so I think it's possible that if there's minimal Blood involvement they might not know about it in time to nip it in the bud.) So if you wanted to force Mat to have a crisis of conscience that's one situation you could set up, and I think it's even somewhat likely. Post-TG Seanchan-Westland politics are going to be a Cold War, and many entities in the Westlands would be happy to lend plausibly deniable support to an organic citizen and/or slave uprising! The other thing is, Mat needs to be constantly occupied and he does like using his skills; if he gets an 'acceptable' target for military force he probably will go for it. So if the forces in Seanchan unified under a rando warlord, he'd probably be ok leading the Westlands Seanchan troops there, reasoning that Tuon is probably a better or at least more influenceable ruler than that other guy. (Might be complicated if it was a female unifier, but probably not that much.) He would not be keen on enslaving the free Westlands- not that that’s going to happen as long as the Dragon’s Peace is going on- but a ‘peacekeeping mission in a foreign land’? ...idk, I can see him going for it, especially if he doesn't have enough political capital yet to back up an outright refusal. Mat was conflicted about using the damane he captured in the Last Battle, but he did use her. She was a prisoner of war from the enemy side, which probably eased his conscience a little re: personally owning her, but I don't see anywhere in the text that he had issues commanding Seanchan sul'dam and damane in a less personal way. The Last Battle was an unusual situation, but we've also seen Mat willing to ally or at least put up with plenty of people he dislikes- on personal and ideological grounds- to achieve a goal (see: rescuing Joline) or just figure out his options (see: all that card-playing with nobles in the Stone of Tear while he had emotions about Rand. XD)

So if you wanted to force Mat to have a moral crisis while fighting in Seanchan, you'd make the people he's fighting in Seanchan be people he sympathizes with more than he sympathizes with imperial Seanchan; let's say it's a coalition of rebels who want a different, more equal society. Mat's got gilt by association (thank you for that amazing phrase, Terry Pratchett) and he's not pleased about it, and unlike Tuon, he can envision a situation where she's still alive but not Empress. So I think that'd be another situation that would force him to have a crisis of conscience and start planning a coup or at least using his considerable power for leverage. The key in both cases is that it's not just Mat randomly deciding to take a stand for freedom; frankly, I don't think he would, unless he thought it was the best way to 'rescue' Tuon, and even then he would wait or maneuver until the tactical/strategic landscape was as much in his favor as possible, which is where the external circumstances weakening the Empire come in.

#mat/tuon #wheel of time #wheel of time meta #seanchan #mat cauthon #tuon paendrag #problematic fave tuon #wheel of time spoilers #post-canon #sorry I know no one wants to read more about coups this week

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crystalstar8 · 3 years

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Knights of the Night (ch 8)

Chapter 8aseball

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,668

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j @daechwitad-2 @zobadak

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing…

Catalina was no longer running, but she had yet to catch her breath. The room she was in was cement, and Jungkook lay in front of her. She tried to reach out to him, but as soon as she tried to move, her veins erupted into fiery pain. Her whole body seized, but just as fast as it came, the pain left, letting Catalina collapse to her knees. She crawled over to Jungkook and rolled him over onto his back. The wound on his head was scary.

“Kookie,” she whispered, trying to shake him awake. “Kookie, we have to get out of here. They’ll come back any second.”

Jungkook spoke without opening his eyes. He said, “When you become one of them, will you eat me too?”

The pain came back at full force, but didn’t last long as Catalina woke up in a cold sweat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, you’re telling me that they’re actual real-life vampires,” Jimin said from the backseat of Jungkook’s car.

“That’s right,” said Catalina.

“That explains all that rotting food in the fridge,” said Jungkook. Catalina huffed as he cracked up.

“Yeah, never mind the fridge full of blood bags,” said Catalina.

“So, they’re real vampires,” said Jimin. “They could kill us if they wanted to, and we’re still hanging out with them?”

“I mean, anyone could kill anyone if they wanted to,” said Jungkook. He took a turn down a dirt road into the forest.

“They could do it so easily though!” said Jimin.

“They won’t,” said Catalina. “I really think they won’t hurt us.”

“Well, we’re playing baseball with them whether you like it or not,” said Jungkook. “God, I haven’t played baseball since I was seven years old, on that stupid little leagues team. Oh my god, I’m so excited.”

Catalina looked over at him with an eyebrow raised. He was practically vibrating in his seat. It was his idea in the first place. As soon as Catalina told him about her discovery, he asked when they’d get to play baseball with the vampires, vis a vis Twilight. To “reenact the greatest scene in cinematic history”. Catalina was just looking forward to spending more time with the four of them. She found them fascinating and there were so many questions she wanted to ask.

She snapped out of those thoughts as Jungkook took a side road. They ended up parking at the edge of a field. The sky was grey and thunder was rumbling. It was perfect weather for baseball. Jungkook seemed to think so too, since he was staring at the sky with a big smile on his face as he got out of the car.

There were two other cars parked in the field, a black BMW and a pink Jeep Wrangler with two yellow smiley faces on the roof. Jin and Jimmy K got out of the BMW as soon as Jungkook parked. Taehyung, Hoseok and Namjoon were already standing in the field, Taehyung practicing his swing. Yoongi was sitting next to the Jeep in a lawn chair, sipping wine from a glass. Catalina got of the car. She’s never played baseball before, so this should be interesting. Taehyung waved at them and ran over.

“You made it!” he said. “I’ve never played baseball before, but I did some research the last few days.”

“Meaning, he just watched some videos of ancient baseball games,” said Hoseok.

“There’s always a guy with the bat, and he has to hit the ball. And there’s the person who throws the ball,” Taehyung explained.

“I think everyone here knows how to play baseball, Tae Tae,” said Jimin.

“Jiminie! I’ve missed you!” Taehyung swept Jimin up in a hug. Catalina laughed but wished Taehyung hadn’t been interrupted. She really didn’t know how to play.

“I think I should just watch for a while,” she said. “I’ve never really played before.”

Jin sidled up to Jungkook and Catalina and whispered, “You said these guys were vampires?”

They nodded. Jin eyed the vampires on the field, then nodded, “Yeah that checks out. Normal people don’t look that good. Except for me, obviously.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Yoongi pulling open another lawn chair. She happily took the opportunity to skip over to him and sit down. The rest of the boys got set up on the field. Catalina wondered who the Jeep belonged to.

Being near Yoongi was different. He didn’t say or do anything, keeping his eyes on the field and sipping from his glass, but Catalina felt a dull aura of danger around him. She didn’t necessarily think he’d hurt her, but being around him wasn’t the same as being around the other vampires. There was definitely something different about him.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Yoongi asked, startling Catalina out of her thoughts.

“No thank you,” she said. They both turned their attention to the field as the game began.

Jungkook was batting first, Hoseok taking his place in the center of the makeshift diamond as the pitcher. Namjoon crouched behind Jungkook as the umpire. Jungkook struck out the first time, but hit perfectly the second. He dropped the bat and took off running. Taehyung took off after him and caught him in an instant, tackling him to the ground. Instead of arguing that Taehyung’s supernatural speed was unfair, Jungkook laughed heartily as he pulled himself off the ground. This absolutely didn’t seem like something Catalina would like, but it was fun to watch.

The clouds began to darken and a slow rain began. Catalina pulled her hood up.

Taehyung was up to bat next, Jimin pitching. Taehyung flipped the bat, tapping the end and catching the handle. That was hot seeing it in the movie, but it was even hotter seeing Taehyung do it. She wondered if Namjoon could flip the bat like that.

“He won’t be able to flip it like that,” said Yoongi. Catalina’s heart skipped a beat. She stared at him as her mind raced.

“Can you…can you read minds?” she whispered. Yoongi chuckled and shook his head.

“No. But I’ve been around long enough to read people,” said Yoongi. “You were eyeing him in his too-tight t-shirt.”

“How old-“

The field erupted into laughter. The rain had picked up and the field was staring to get muddy. It seemed that Taehyung had tackled Jungkook again and they were rolling around in the mud, Jimin and Jin were laughing hysterically beside them. Their white t-shirts were practically transparent, clinging to their chests. Jungkook was more toned than Catalina expected…

Namjoon was up to bat next.

“Flip the bat!” Catalina shouted to him. “Flip the bat like Tae did!”

Namjoon tried to flip the bat, but ended up hitting himself in the face and dropping it.

“Told you,” said Yoongi.

“Whatever. It was worth a shot,” said Catalina.

The game went on and the rain got heavier. Luckily, Jungkook had the foresight to tell everyone to wear white t-shirts for the baseball game, because soon, everyone’s shirts were soaked and transparent. The ground was muddy and as Namjoon ran to home base, he slid across the ground, the mud splashing up around him dramatically. Jimmy K took the bat next. He was wearing shorts with his wet t-shirt, showing off his sturdy, oiled thighs.

“You’re drooling,” Yoongi said.

“Shut up,” said Catalina, unable to tear her eyes away from the game. She wiped her chin and sure enough, there was drool in the corner of her mouth. She couldn’t help it though. Everyone on that field was incredibly hot and they were all soaked. Their shirts left nothing to the imagination.

Catalina shifted in her seat. She wondered if Jungkook had checked the weather ahead of time and planned this. She made a note to ask him later. And if he did plan this, she’d have to thank him. She wondered if he knew what he looked like right now, with the wet shirt clinging to his abs and chest and hard nipples…

She only had to wonder for a moment though, because a few seconds later, Jungkook was lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe the mud from his face, his eyes darting over to her. That son of a bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, Catalina thought.

Catalina was startled out of that train of thought as Yoongi stood abruptly, his chair falling backward. Catalina startled and looked at him with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Catalina asked.

“Shut up,” he said. His eyes narrowed as they darted around the tree line.

From the woods, three people strolled into the field. The boys stopped playing baseball and watched the three strangers approach. Yoongi joined them, Catalina close behind.

“I haven’t seen you four around, are you new to this town?” the man in the middle asked. He was big; tall and broad with a good natured smile on his face.

“No, we’ve lived here a long time. Are you new?” asked Namjoon.

“A bit,” the man said. “I didn’t realize there were more of us living around here. I figured we already met everyone.”

“Do you mind if we join your game?” the woman beside him asked. She was tall and blonde, a sinister red smile on her face. The third woman’s eyes flickered between the five humans.

“You even brought snacks,” she said. This woman had a thick Indian accent and dark skin. Her gaze was so piercing, Catalina felt as if the woman could tell what she was thinking just by looking at her. All three of them had blood red eyes.

“We were actually just leaving,” Namjoon said as he positioned himself in front of Catalina.

“No need to get defensive!” the man said, holding out his hands. His smile was still relaxed and charming. “We won’t take what isn’t ours.”

“Joon-ah,” Hoseok whispered. He was shuffling behind Namjoon, tugging on his sleeve. He looked pale and terrified.

“We can leave if you want us to, we just thought we’d introduce ourselves,” the man said. “We always love making new friends.”

Namjoon glanced at Hoseok, then looked back at the man with narrowed eyes. He didn’t say anything.

“My name is Makai,” the man said. He gestured to the blonde woman and said, “This is Amanda,” and then to the other woman, “And this is Mohati.”

“My name is Namjoon, and this is Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok,” said Namjoon.

“You’re not going to introduce your human friends?” Mohati asked, sauntering over to Jungkook. Taehyung growled and stepped in front of him. Jungkook’s eyes were like saucers.

“I apologize for interrupting your game,” said Makai. “I can see you don’t need any more players, so we’ll be on our way. But here, take my card. Come visit us some time. We’re always on the lookout for fresh faces.”

He handed a business card to Namjoon then waved to the two women to follow him away. They left the way they came, into the woods until Catalina could no longer see them.

Namjoon looked at the card and said, “I think you guys should go home. Yoongi and I will follow you home. Taehyung, Hoseok, trail them to see where they’re heading.”

Hoseok shook his head furiously and said with a shaking voice, “No, no, nonononono we don’t have to do that. They’re probably not going anywhere, we can just go home and forget about it.”

Catalina looked at him with concern.

“Do you know those guys?” Yoongi asked.

“What?” Hoseok laughed the fakest, most nervous laugh Catalina’s ever heard. “No! Why would I know them? Let’s just take the humans home and forget about it!”

“Now, wait just a second!” Jungkook said, pushing past Taehyung and putting his hands on his hips. “Don’t we get a say in this?”

“No,” all four vampires said simultaneously.

“But there’s a mystery afoot!” Jungkook said. “They were sus!”

“Not a mystery for you,” said Namjoon. “We’re taking you home.”

“Yeah, I think I’m okay with just going home,” said Jimin, putting a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “This seems like too much for us.”

That was how Catalina found herself back in the passenger seat of Jungkook’s car with Jimin and Namjoon in the back seat. The BMW followed closely behind, the Jeep behind the BMW.

“Who do you think those people were?” asked Jungkook. His hair was drying, curling slightly at the ends. Catalina resisted the urge to run her hands through it.

“No idea,” said Namjoon. “I’ve never seen them before. There’s not many vampires this far south, so maybe they’re travelers? Or maybe they’re just new to town…”

“This is south?” said Catalina.

“Most vampire communities are farther north, like Canada and Northern Europe. Less sunlight.”

“What about Russia?” asked Jungkook.

“Russia is just as bad as France,” Namjoon spat the word “France” like the country had personally insulted his mother. “No one lives there. Anyway, they probably won’t hurt you since they saw you with us, but you guys should still be careful,” said Namjoon.

“Sure, whatever you say, mom,” said Catalina with a cackle. Namjoon didn’t look amused. “I’m kidding. I definitely don’t want to be their meal.”

They drove in silence for a while.

“Whose car is the Jeep?” asked Catalina. “Is it yours?”

Namjoon smiled and said, “No, it’s Hoseok’s. Taehyung bought it for him for his birthday last year, but Hoseok picked it out.”

“Are you guys all crazy rich? Like, the stereotypical vampires coming from royalty or whatever?” Jungkook asked. Catalina remembered what Hoseok told her at game night.

Namjoon laughed. “Yoongi actually did come from royalty, but not the rest of us. We’re just old enough to accumulate wealth.”

“Ah, to be old enough to accumulate wealth,” Catalina said with a dramatic sigh, fluttering her lashes at him, which pulled a laugh out the whole car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caleb waited for what felt like forever for something to change. He felt tired and cold all the time. The men came by every day to drop off some food and water, and then the needle went in for a while. Caleb hated that the most because it meant he’d get even more tired and cold. He didn’t even care about the needle prick anymore. The door was always closed, but Caleb remembered when he first came there, some of the doors were open. He wondered if he became too tired to move much, if they’d keep his door open. He would at least like to see what was happening outside of the little cement room.

One day, the door opened and some men set up another bed and blood bag stand on the other side of the room. Then the blonde woman came in. She was holding a lady in her arms, whom she laid down on the other bed. The lady was asleep. Caleb kept quiet as the blonde woman attached a needle to the lady’s arm, then left, closing the door behind her.

Caleb got off of his own bed and approached the sleeping lady. It was a bit difficult to move, he kind of felt like he was moving through molasses, something he heard his mom say once but never understood until now. The lady was pretty, she had dark skin and big curly hair. Caleb wanted to wake her up and warn her about what was going to happen to her, but when he shook her shoulder, she just twitched and stayed asleep. The men must’ve given her the sleepy water. They gave Caleb the sleepy water one day when he tried to pull the needle out and run away. He knew not to do that again, because the headache he had after he woke up was the worst pain he’d ever felt.

Even though the sleeping lady wouldn’t wake up, Caleb was glad to have a new roommate. And he was glad she was an adult. Maybe she could help him escape and get back to his parents.

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elaboratedbee · 4 years

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Bigby x Reader

Pairing: Bigby Wolf x Reader (i changed this to be gender neutral!)

Summary: bigby deals with his rapidly growing feelings for the new Fable that moved into the apartment above his, a nymph. (alternatively, you give bigby flowers)

Rating: E (hella fluff)

Word Count: 4208 (idk how it got long it just did i’m so sorry)

Note: hey guys, this is my second imagine! :) I just love this wolfman rn and I literally cannot wait until s2! i’m a new blog so pls feel free to interact, or request something, bc corona has given me hella free time ;)

You Belong Among The Flowers

You

As you set down the last box in your new apartment, you let a sense of accomplishment wash over you. It hadn’t been easy to save enough money to afford an apartment in the Woodlands, but you worked hard managing your business, growing flowers and owning a florist as well as growing fruit and vegetables which you sold to the grocery stores in Fabletown. When Snow had informed you of the two new apartments that had become available, you couldn’t help but fall in love with the idea. The place you were living before was a little sketchy (read: it was a total shithole, and you were definitely close to getting stabbed on several occasions).

This way, you would be closer to the allotments you had managed to buy right at the edge of Fabletown, closer to Snow who you had thoroughly enjoyed getting to know during the first couple of months of her deputy mayorship, and it was a hell of a lot safer. The Woodlands had the extra insurance of being the home of the big, bad wolf. Fabletown harboured some pretty stupid criminals, but there weren’t many people stupid enough to target the apartments across the hall from the Sheriff.

The place needed some life in it, as soon as was possible, however. The stark and empty room made you uncomfortable, and as soon as you set your first fern down on one of the shelves, you immediately felt better. The best part about the place, which really convinced you to part with most of your savings, was the balcony. You couldn’t wait to have it bright with life, a practical jungle on your doorstep. A flower nymph with no flowers was not a happy being, so that was the first thing you got to work on, planting your seeds and setting out your pots.

It was already falling dark by the time you were done, but you were more than content to spend the night on a mattress in the middle of the floor now that you were surrounded by, at least the beginnings of, a flower garden.

Bigby

By the time Bigby reached his cramped, little apartment in the evening, it was usually long after darkness had fallen over Fabletown. As he turned the key in the stiff lock, a sigh escaped his lips. He’d been tracking a car thief all day and had not been successful. The detective hated going home with a case hanging over him; there was no way he would be able to get any real sleep while all of his thoughts and theories were racing through his head.

Bigby opened the door, dim yellow light from the hallway seeping into the room. The lingering smell of smoke from his Huff and Puffs and the scent of whiskey hit his nose even harder once the door was opened, and even he grimaced slightly at the smell. He flicked on the light and took his phone off of the ringer, a habit that he’d developed long ago. It was nice to be enveloped in peace and quiet in the evening. It was the way he liked it, he told himself. Somewhere in the very back of his mind, he knew that he really made himself unavailable because that way he could pretend that being alone was a conscious decision that he made.

Making his way to the small window in his living space, he opened it in an attempt to allow some fresh (well, as fresh as it got for New York city) air into his apartment. Bigby froze as an unexpected scent was the first to hit him, and he inhaled deeply. It was a floral scent, different kinds of mingling together. Some overpowered the less aromatic ones, but Bigby’s sense of smell was heightened enough that he could pick out each individual smell and he traced it to somewhere above him. The pitch-black darkness outside made it a futile goal to find out where it was coming from, so he simply stood and basked in it, sure that it would be gone in the morning. He assumed that someone in a nearby apartment had received a bouquet of flowers and had left it on their windowsill. It was concerning that they had left their window open, he noted, even the Woodland building wasn’t particularly safe.

A bittersweet pang of homesickness ran through his body like a shiver, pooling in his chest and making his heartache. Mostly, he avoided thinking about the Homelands, as it always resulted in the sad longing that he was feeling now. But with the scent in his nose so reminiscent of the beautiful woodlands and sprawling idyllic spaces that they had once called home, there was no way he could avoid it now. Once the initial sadness passed, he allowed himself to relax into the sense of security and joy that were stronger than any negative feelings when he thought back to their home and all of its splendour. Although the person, or monster, that Bigby had been back then was a source of regret, he could not deny that he’d do almost anything to trade the dirty, concrete cityscape outside of his window for hills and mountains, forests and rivers.

For the first time that he could remember, he didn’t reach for a cigarette or a tumbler of whiskey when he sat down in his chair to rest at last. Instead, he inhaled deeply, and let the smell of flowers lull him to a restful sleep.

When he awoke, he was pleased to find that the pleasant smell persisted, which made him considerably more optimistic about the day ahead. There was one lead that he thought to chase up, but he figured that he ought to fill in Snow on the recent happenings before making his way out. She was much busier now, since the Crooked Man. Things weren’t perfect, he didn’t think they would ever be, but they were certainly better. Snow was making changes, just like she had promised to herself and everyone that she would. When Fables came through the door of the business office, their wishes weren’t always granted, but they were always heard.

Bigby thought that was a step in the right direction.

After showering and getting dressed, he stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the correct floor. The line for the business office was already fairly long, despite the early hour of the morning and he resolved not to take up too much of Snow’s time. Ignoring the eye rolls and general disgruntlement from the Fables in the hallway as he bypassed the line, he made his way into the office. Snow was busying herself with a stack of papers, looking rather stressed at it all. He didn’t like to see her that way, but he did prefer it to the look of frustration and helplessness that he caught glimpses of when she was working as an assistant.

Opening his mouth to announce his presence, he promptly closed it as something took him by surprise. On Snow’s desk was a vase of flowers, a big and beautiful bouquet. Proud white roses were peppered with baby's breath, all sitting on a luscious green bed of eucalyptus and hydrangeas. It was perfect, it was if it were an incarnation of Snow herself. He looked at it and realised, at that moment, exactly why people gave each other flowers, he had never had a reason to consider it.

He must have been staring for a lot longer than it felt like because what finally broke him from his reverie was the sound of Snow’s laughter, soft and musical. Frowning at the sight of her mocking him, he flipped her off, which only made her laugh more. “Who’s the secret admirer?” He inquired, “I’ll need their address too, you know, just in case.”

Snow glared at him.

“I’m kidding.” Bigby placated her, raising his hands in mock surrender. The smell of this bouquet was different from the one coming through his window, telling him that it was a different set of flowers, but surely the giver of these was also the source of the others. It seemed like far too much of a coincidence, otherwise.

With a pointed look, Snow said, “you already know it. I told you last week that someone new was moving into the Woodlands! Since Crane is gone, we renovated his hideous penthouse into two new apartments.” Even the mention of his name raised Bigby’s hackles and got his blood boiling, so he could only imagine the disgust that his friend must feel whenever he’s brought up.

“Right,” Bigby agreed, hazily recalling the conversation that he had definitely not paid his full attention to. It was no wonder that Bigby had missed them moving in, considering that he usually leaves the Woodlands in the early hours of the morning and returns in . . . the early hours of the morning. Yikes.

“I told them about the apartment, so they sent me these as a way to say thanks,” Snow explained, gesturing toward the flowers.

He wondered what their connection was to the flowers, whether they just liked them or whether they were a part of their history, their story. Once again, Bigby opened his mouth only to be interrupted by an inpatient sounding knock on the door. Snow jerked her head towards it before throwing an apologetic smile towards the Sheriff. “I’m sorry, Bigby. I have a lot to do. I should probably get going with these meetings.”

That was his cue to leave, so the wolf nodded at her and made an exit from the office. He was busy, too, and things were never really peaceful in Fabletown, so it was probably for the best that he got going, but he couldn’t help but wish he had asked for a name.

He was soon to find out, however, only a couple of days later. Taking a long drag from his cigarette, Bigby used his free hand to open his mailbox. It was more of a tradition at this point, considering he couldn’t actually recall the last time he received a letter in the post that wasn’t a bill.

An out of tune ding announced the arrival of the elevator but Bigby didn’t turn around, not wanting to invite conversation. He had just placed the car thief into custody, and Snow was going to arrange a trial for tomorrow. The system was much fairer now, more democratic and he liked it that way. Being the final authority on the Crooked Man last time was some heavy stuff, and there was no way to make everyone happy. Now, there was a jury, a real trial, fair sentencing. Fabletown was slowly but surely dragging itself off the ground and trying to become a more just place, a more safe place. If Bigby could do anything to make sure of it, he would.

Finally looking up, he turned his head to see which of his neighbours had joined him at the letterbox. It was you.

He almost choked on the cigarette in his mouth as he regarded you, and when he took it out and crushed it underfoot, he could smell you, too. Without the overpowering scent of smoke under his nose, the floral scent that he had been succumbing to every night since the first overtook him and he felt a strange constriction in his chest.

You were beautiful, ethereal, but in a much different way than he could usually describe. It was the quirk of your mouth as you offered him a grin and the glint behind your eyes that suggested you were laughing at your own joke internally. “Sheriff.” You addressed him by his formal title and Bigby was torn. He wanted to hear you say it again, over and over. Sherriff. You said it with respect, with admiration even. It wasn’t an insult, a sarcasm, unlike when most of the Fables addressed him with his title. But he also wanted to hear you say his name. It was this desire that returned his ability to speak.

“Call me, Bigby.”

You closed your mailbox, holding your letters in your hand and smiled wider, introducing yourseld in return.

“I’ll see you around, Bigby.”

You were walking away, and Bigby, for the first time, was struck with the desire to stop you, make you stay, talk just a little longer.

“I, uh, I like the flowers.” He managed to growl out. You looked a little taken aback at his tone and he cursed himself, but you recovered and offered him yet another smile. He noted how you gave them out like it cost nothing.

“Oh, Snow’s?” You prompted him for more information.

“Yeah, and I can,” he made a vague gesture towards his face, “smell the ones you have in the windowsill. From my apartment.”

Your eyebrows raised a fraction in surprise, and he felt a weird sense of pride. What the fuck is wrong with you? He thought to himself.

“Really? I’ll keep them there,” you were so sincere, you made such a simple comment sound like a promise. He nodded, unable to think of yet another reason to delay you and altogether confused about why he was freaking out the way that he was. You stepped into the elevator and was gone.

You

You stepped off of the elevator and into your apartment, placing the letters down onto a table. The place wasn’t huge but you had made the best of it. The walls had a fresh coat of white paint, making the place seem more open and bright, the furniture was simple, mainly second hand, but it fits. Best of all, your beloved balcony. You guessed that’s what the Sheriff had confused for the flowers on your window-sill.

Great, leafy ferns and potted plants adorned your apartment all over, but the balcony was the centre of it all, and it was only just beginning. You had planted all manner of things, and you were only getting started. Due to your being a flower nymph, they grew faster, strong and healthy, and the seeds that you planted mere days ago were beginning to form buds, and even open up. The scent was sweeter. The plants were happier, but you couldn’t really explain that sort of thing to another Fable. They would laugh at the notion, but you could feel it.

Moving to the city had been hard for you, really hard. The nymphs were the caretakers of the homelands, the trees, rivers, lakes and plants. The animals, too, even if they didn’t always know it. To have it ripped away was more painful than anything else you could have experienced. It wasn’t just a home that had been taken from you, it was a part of yourself that had been left behind.

Your mind drifted to your recent interaction as you watered them with care, and you felt your heart rate pick up when you thought of the Sheriff. He was tired, you could tell, but he seemed kind enough. It was a common mistake that nymphs only took care of the plants in the forest, when really they guarded the animals, too. It gave you more of a read on the beastially inclined residents, and you could almost feel the weight on Bigby’s shoulders as you stood next to him.

I like the flowers.

The compliment played over in your mind. It had taken you by surprise, considering what all of the other residents had told you about the big, bad wolf. You trusted Snow’s word above the others when she told you about him, that he was a man that wanted to change, had changed. He wanted to make this place better, she had told you, just like her. But even Snow had grumbled to you a few times about how stubborn, how hot-headed and how harsh he could be.

Over the next couple of days, he was stuck on your mind. You paid far more attention to the coming and going of the wolf than before, realising for the first time that he was rarely home at all. Could this really be the same man that everyone complained about downtown? The one that Fables still questioned as to whether or not he really cared at all? Every time you passed him, you sensed his exhaustion, his frustration. His loneliness. But there was something else when you passed him, too. This little spark of joy and excitement. You knew it must be the scent of the flowers, what else could it be? He had already remarked on it.

Deciding enough was enough, you went about making him the perfect bouquet.

Throughout the week, you worked on your gift. You arranged it untraditionally in a long, thin wooden box which was overflowing with greenery. Succulents and hydrangeas were scattered amongst them like stars in the night sky. Wild berries shone like jewels, clinging to their stems. Most importantly, bright white lily of the valleys hung like bells. You picked them because of their sweet scent, hoping that the wolf would enjoy them. They were common in the homelands, and you wondered if it would remind him of the place.

Finally satisfied, you picked up the arrangement late one evening and stepped into the elevator. Am I being crazy? You thought to yourself as your grip on the box tightened. You just thought that all of the things the Sheriff did for Fabletown deserved a little recognition. It was the least you could do say thanks, right?

Arriving at the correct floor, you took a deep breath before knocking on Bigby’s door. It was a little late for a house call, you realised, but he wasn’t home at any other hour. The wolf opened the door, scowling until he saw you. Confusion replaced the general displeasure on his face until he noted what was in your hands. “Oh,” his voice was full of realisation, “I can hand those to Snow if you want, but if you just wait until tomorrow, she’ll be back in her office,” he explained to you.

What? You realised quickly that he thought the flowers were meant for Snow and you shook your head, a little saddened that he didn’t even think that they could be for him.

“Actually, Sheriff, they’re for you. For your windowsill.”

The man’s face went completely blank while he processed the information, which was kind of scary. The guy really didn’t give anything away.

“For me?” He repeated, sounding almost suspicious as he raised his hand to his mouth and removed his cigarette, seemingly wanting to inhale the flowers instead.

“Yep.” You assured him firmly, “you said you liked the scent of them so I thought you might like some of your own.” With your words, the energy of the wolf changed. The exhaustion and anger faded substantially and he finally seemed warm, almost as happy as your flowers. You seized the opportunity. “You mind if I come in? I can tell you about watering them and stuff.”

Bigby failed to hide his face a little more this time, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I don’t have anything to offer you, and the place is a real shithole.” He warned you.

“I didn’t come for anything, I just want to bring you these,” you answer and he relents, stepping backwards and opening the door to allow you in. You expected the smell of cigarettes to be worse, but he had an open window that seemed to be helping with that. You set the flowers down on the windowsill and turned to face him. He was closer than you had expected, and a blush broke out onto your cheeks at the proximity of the wolf to you. You are overwhelmed with the desire to step even closer, but you stay put. The man was already freaked out, he didn’t need your crush to make it any worse.

“Why?” He seemed reluctant to ask like he had been trying to answer the question himself but just couldn’t figure out the answer.

“To say thank you. You do a lot for us, especially those of us who live in The Woodlands. I think of how much safer this place is just because you live here. And you said you liked them.”

“I don’t exactly do anything other than be the Big, Bad Wolf.” He points out, and you catch a cutting undertone to his argument.

“Bullshit.” He seems surprised at your choice of words and raises an amused eyebrow at you. “You get up at the crack of dawn and you get home little before then, sometimes not at all. You single-handedly protect all of the Fables in this town. You deserve a hundred flowers.” You pointed this all out casually, shrugging your shoulders but Bigby looks deeply uncomfortable. You wondered why he was so tense as you pointed out all he does.

You wondered if anybody does.

Bigby

He thought that if you come any closer to him then he won’t be able to stop himself from kissing you. He also thought that he can’t move away.

The scent of the flowers, your scent, was making him feel almost dizzy. It was hard to believe that you were in his apartment, that you brought him flowers. You brought him flowers, you brought him flowers, you brought him flowers. Ever since they spoke, such a small, meaningless conversation, he hadn’t been able to get you off his mind. Sure that you had forgotten it by the next day, he felt like such an idiot replaying it in his mind before he could fall asleep at night.

But you hadn’t. You had remembered what he said and brought him flowers.

“Thank you.” He realised he hadn’t even said that yet, and he turned away to admire them, and so that he didn’t have to look at you anymore. Clenching his jaw, he implored himself not to ruin this already, to just control himself, like he had with Snow once upon a time. But this time, it seemed impossible.

Then, you touched his arm.

He was so acutely aware of your hand on his skin the whole time that it was there that he could barely hear what you were saying. All of the nice things you were saying about him, falling on deaf ears. God, he felt pathetic. Was that really all it took to turn him stupid? One compliment, one touch.

He hadn’t been touched in a while, though. Not like this. By someone who wasn’t trying to hurt him, or calm him down. Not by someone who just wanted to be close to him.

Fuck it, he thought, and stepped closer, leaning into your touch. There were inches between you now.

You

All of a sudden, he was in front of you. His skin was warm to your touch, and his eyes were simmering with something. You think back over the last couple of days. The way you had watched him, the way you’d thought of him. How you had spent hours finding the perfect flowers, arranging them just so. That wasn’t gratitude or friendly admiration and you knew it. You wondered if he knew it.

You looked up and met his eyes, they were almost gold now that you were close, more than brown. That’s the last thing you remember thinking before you weren’t thinking anything, but feeling the wolf’s mouth on yours. His hand comes up to cup your face, holding you close and the other hand moves to your waist. It’s needy, and almost desperate as the both of you simply give in to whatever desire you were pushing back.

His face was rough, and you delighted in the coarseness of his hands, a shiver running through your body. He invaded all of your senses, occupies all of you for the minutes, or hours that the two of you are interlocked. The sharpness of his teeth on your bottom lip, gone as quickly as it came prompted you to gasp ever so slightly, allowing his tongue passage into your mouth. When you finally pulled away, air a terrible, evil necessity to you now, you dared to open your eyes and reassure yourself that you weren’t dreaming. Bigby was still pressed up against you, his eyes a brighter gold than they had been before and his breathing urgent.

“I like the flowers,” he chokes out, “I really, really like the - “

You cut him off by grabbing him by the tie and pulling him down towards you once again, rolling your eyes slightly at how awkward he was. You’d figure it out. Kissing him breathless, you finally released him and met his eyes. “I like you too, Bigby.”

The wolf shared a genuine smile with you, one that reached all the way up to his eyes and flashed his sharp incisors. You wanted to see it again, a million times.

You were going to need more flowers.

#the wolf among us #bigby wolf #bigby wolf x reader #bigby x reader #twau #imagine #bigby wolf imagine #my underappreciated baby #someone give him a hug #the wolf among us fanfic #bigby wolf fanfiction #the wolf among us imagine

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disaster-fruit · 4 years

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@portu-cale I had to delete the post with your ask bc it was huge and for some reason the “read more” wasnt working!

portu-cale-main asked:

“could you expand on pindorama? and maybe her relationship with brazil? i’m really intrigued by the character :o (but only if you want to ofc!!)”

alrightt, I’m gonna admit I’ve been VERY reluctant about taking about pindorama, for a few reasons, but mostly because it’s really hard to find trustworthy information that isn’t playing into the colonialist narrative that is still very present in our national identity as a whole (if you read a little abt indianismo…. That shit is still very present). And when it’s not that, is all very vague and talking about ~the natives~ as if they were just one big homogeneous group with not much of their own history.

I also don’t want to go too deep into to anything too dark or “angsty”, not to ignore those ugly parts of our history, but because I feel it would be very disrespectful to make those tragedies (which are still being carried out by our government) the center of any hetalia discussion. And well, I might fuck up and end up playing into everything I’m trying to avoid, and if this is in anyway offensive, just let me know and I’ll delete this post and go further educate myself.

This is also gonna be an even longer post than usual (its 3 pages long...), since it’s gonna need a lot of historical explanation even for my fellow Brazilians.

My main source here is chapter 6 of the book “1499: O Brasil Antes de Cabral”, by Reinaldo José Lopes.

Ok, let’s talk about the lady.

First things first, she old. She’s at least 3000 years old, probably older! She grew up in southwest Amazon (around modern Rondônia) with her nine siblings, and while some of them remained there, others started to expand their territories through the forest. All of them also had plenty of children. The way I see it, since there was no sort of political unity between the different tupi tribes, each had their own tan and were the children of ones like Pindorama and her siblings, that represented many different groups that, though politically separated, had strong cultural and linguistic similarities. It’s kinda like I see Mama Greece existing while Sparta, Athens and all those Ancient Greek cities existed too, but in a much larger scale. So Pindorama represents what would eventually be all the tupi and tupi-guarani groups in the coast, and of Pindorama’s children, most of them were also Guarani’s kids.

Pindorama and Guarani expanded to the southeast and the east coast together, always hating each other and fighting but also constantly having children together lol. Sisters? Enemy-lovers? Bitter exes? Frenemies with benefits? All of the above? I don’t know, but these two ladies had children pretty much all around the territory (what I’m referring to here is all the different Tupi-Guarani groups), and if you ask me, they otp.

Pindorama is, first and foremost, a warrior. The tupi were, in general, very belligerent groups, that had war as a major part of their culture, and that was in part what made them expand through such a wide territory even without any kind of centralized state or hierarchy. And they had a very different view of war compared the Europeans – war was not meant to completely eliminate their enemies or as means to access land and resources, but as part of a perpetual cycle of revenge that ennobled ones that participated in it - it was cultural more than material. So Pindorama was just constantly watching her children fight each other and she was like…. Good for Them. She was also constantly fighting someone (usually Guarani lol) and was really, really good at it.

Despite that, she was also inclined to trading and had a lot of good commercial relationships with many others, going as far west as the Andes! She was both a warrior and a businesswoman, so yeah, terrifying. She was a skilled river navigator – not as much as the Aruak, but still pretty good – which also helped both with the expansion and with trade. She’s an extrovert, who can talk in front of a lot of people easily and captivate whoever she met, while also scaring the shit out of them.

So yeah, that’s Pindorama. A warrior, a businesswoman, a mother, a rival-lover, she really did have it all. And when Portugal arrived, she at first assumed he was just another one to trade with – and that was it, for the first few decades. And when Brazil ~appeared~ there (in whatever way nations are born idk), she took him as another one of her many children, no really a surprise here either.

For some time, she raised Brazil, but she soon understood that kid was not like the others. First, he was not just her child or her child with Guarani, but apparently also the child of that dude that would come every once in a while from the sea (again I don’t know how nations know who are their parents or other’s parents since there’s really no biological birth going on…). And as time went by, she also started noticed more and more of her other children dying more and more every time, while Brazil kept growing stronger and healthier every day. She put two and two together – that child and his father were trouble, and not the good kind.

When it comes to her relationship with Brazil, it is complicated, to say the least. She was more present in his childhood that Portugal, she taught him her languages and stories and how to survive in that land, but she also never trusted him, and was hesitant to be around him. As the years passed, she learned it was safer for her and her other children (who are not really Brazil’s siblings btw) to just keep going deep into the forest and avoiding Brazil and Portugal whenever they could, but always fighting back when needed. When it came to the battles, she actually had advantages compared to Portugal at times – gunpowder in the 16th century was pretty shitty, while for example the tupinamba had arrows as long as 1.60m that could pierce through their armor. But fighting meant exposing the people to getting sick, and the moment they realized that, they started avoiding it more. Still, I think its plausible to say she probably tried to kill brazil and Portugal a few times.

As much as I like to joke about brazil having mommy issues, I really don’t want to blame her for being “a bad mom” when she really was just doing what she had to do to survive and resist and to protect her real family against an enemy she couldn’t defeat. Also, Brazil has a great deal of blame here. When he was a kid, it really was just Portugal who pushed Pindorama away and against him, but after independence he really failed to fix things when he had the power to. As I talked about in the last post a little bit, he tried to get close to her again, but not because he wanted to make things right, not because he was ready to listen to her and respect her, but because he wanted an identity for himself that was separated from port, and though he could find it in his mother. But he wasn’t listening to her for a moment or seeing her for who she was, he wasn’t trying to get to know her, it was all about himself (as it always was in the empire).

I think Pindorama, better than anyone, can see how Brazil and Portugal are similar in their worst traits, and she can also see through every single one of brazil’s warm smile in a way no one else really can. Not for a moment his talk of reconnecting with her fooled her. Needless to say his attempt to get close to her, completely misguided and selfish, didn’t made things any better between them.

To this day, there’s a lot of bitterness between the two. Pindorama (fairly) resents brazil for all that he and his father caused and his failing to recognize his own flaws and mistakes and works on them. Today, they still mostly avoid each other. They do have their tender moments, sometimes, but Brazil has a lot of growing up as a person to do if he ever wants to fix their relationship.

Well… this is very long. I apologize if I said anything offensive or played into any harmful stereotypes, and if I did, please let me know.

#hcs #ask #as much as i like my brazil angst and all that.... when it comes to pindorama i kinda just want to talk about the 2500 #years before that were she was just being a awesome warrior lady with her enemy girlfriend taking over the continent with their 40 children #is that too much to ask???

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advernia · 4 years

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hi hi!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ mmm… i try not to expect something out of an unreleased route (bc most of the time i am horribly betrayed lmao) but there are loads of stuff i hope to see! forgive me for being rambly tho haha!

mousse. i actually have no idea what to expect from his route but what i do know is that his current position as a diplomat bothers me in a lot of ways lmao! but anyway… naturally we should be getting details on why he left the red army in the first place, so maybe on that side i do wish we’d get more insight on the workings of the red army, i guess? not that i’m expecting something super detailed or anything (tho it would be great if cybird feeds us with details), but for starters, maybe something more concerning the chosen bloodline - for instance, how did it come to be that for the red army, those thirteen certain families are the only ones strictly allowed to fill in that one position in the chosen ranks??? do relatives or family branch members count??? additionally, is mousse the first case of someone stepping down / refusing to take over their designated rank??? i’d like to think that he isn’t, but then again i maybe wrong???

alternatively… maybe mousse’s route could fill in some bit of cradle lore too? lmao i mean he is a diplomat and alice is a ‘visitor’, so he’s the best suitor to fit in the role of a tour guide. maybe a little more idea on how cradle works as an actual country, bc god i can’t even imagine how it functions properly. who knows, maybe he actually knows about that abandoned building in the forbidden forest + why it’s there in the first place. maybe he can actually elaborate the background of the goddamn 500 year conflict. if he actually does, bless my soul.

on relationships… while mousse is neutral but a former red, i imagine we’ll be seeing more of the ra guys rather than the ba, maybe… that’s fine with me since i’m interested in learning more about his relationship with lancelot, and maybe how he interacts with kyle + edgar since we already have a general idea of how he is around jonah + zero. but since the neutral faction has increased now, i’d like it if most of his interactions would involve more of his fellow neutrals. they need more screentime.

and finally, romantically… man, that ‘love at first sight… or is it?’ bit on his profile really gets me. oh, i will be ridiculously happy if that whole ‘love at first sight’ thing is interpreted as just sheer interest on mousse’s part. he’s in love with the visitor from the land of reason, with alice the second who hails from the same land as the first alice. he’s in love with the thought of her, a person who lives in a world so different from his own…but has he ever seen alice the second as the woman she is, as another human being??? this is probably unlikely to happen as mousse doesn’t seem too cold as a character but OOOOHHHHH I’D LOVE TO HAVE A TWIST（○□○）

tl;dr: a focus on red army history / more expository stuff on cradle. a toss between mousse interacting with the ra + neutrals, preferrably more of the latter. if cybird pulls a surprising twist / interpretation on mousse’s ‘love at first sight’ for alice, then i will LIVE.

dean. for starters, i’d like a little more understanding on how the boarding school he works in operates haha… i get it’s open to all regardless of status (red/black, noble/commoner maybe?), but what type of school is it, is it a regular one or a military academy of sorts??? if it’s a military type, to what extent are the students trained - basic combat/magic or are there advanced classes or all that shebang??? from what age are you able to enroll in it??? who runs it??? probably someone from the neutral faction / government itself but seriously speaking, is this the only school available in cradle??? if you’re wondering why i think that, i just find it odd that two different factions that have been in constant conflict still send their kids to study in that one school where anyone and everyone is accepted… i’d imagine the red side isn’t so happy about this more than the black side is, but maaaybe it’s a government-mandated / treaty / pact thing??? tbh i’m still on the fence on those ideas since there’s a lot more questions that would arise from that but… yeah. just… details, pls _(:3」∠)_ oh, more bonus points if we get more info about the day everything went dark!

anyway… dean being a professor appears underwhelming but it’s pretty interesting to take into account that he probably trained all(?) of them army suitors so… personally i’d be interested if there’s your teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes lmao. preferrably with dean still able to hold his own. bonus points if he taunts his opponent in the process with words like ‘i see you’ve forgotten your fundamentals’ or something haha! even more bonus points if we get dean/alice fighting the forces of evil magic disciples together!!! oh, that would be so good.

it would be fun if dean’s the type to subtly poke his former students with their dark history past mistakes when he sees them / needs them to settle down or smth. maybe he has dirt on someone like luka (and no, it isn’t about him feeding birds on the rooftop lmao). maybe he’s the only one who can make sirius & lancelot feel nervous easily, holy shit. but again, as dean’s a neutral, i’d prefer his interactions to involve more of his fellow neutrals. especially dalim. though that might be a given considering their relationship. i will greatly appreciate seeing more of the tweedle twins dynamic. even more if it turns out that the main conflict/antagonist of their individual routes happens not to be amon, but their other half and it’s not because of alice. AHHHHHH ( ･ᴗ･̥̥̥ )

idk what dynamic they’re gonna shoot for with dean & alice, but i do hope it doesn’t give off your ‘teacher-student’ vibes aha…… considering how dean’s personality appears so far though, i’d like to think that a slow burn would be fitting for them…? maybe something similar to lancelot’s where the conflict is given more focus than the romance itself.

tl;dr: background on the school + the day everything went dark. teacher vs. student(s) fight scenes + dean/alice fighting duo. dean being lolz evulz to his former students. tweedle twins drama, bless. if dean/alice gives off the teacher-student dynamic, well… can’t say i didn’t see that coming.

dalim. oh boy, while i’m trying hard not to expect anything for now, i can’t help but pray for something good with dalim. i think he has the best potential among the new three since he’s only (or first) suitor in an actual antagonistic position - he knows it, he accepts it, and he’s still going with it. if cybird handwaves a redemption arc for him thru the flimsy power of kira-kira labu (or friendship), i will be very, very, very disappointed. seriously.

anyway, there’s a lot of question marks surrounding him that i want answered but of course, more dirt on the magic tower. perhaps whatever details about the tower that they failed to address in harr’s route they can add + elaborate here, though i really wouldn’t mind knowing more nitty gritty on the human experimentation bit. then there’s the matter about the regression magic he developed. though maybe all before that detailed stuff, maybe some background about how dalim came to be a magic disciple would be good. and how and why he manages a pub on the side. origin stories are a must.

not gonna lie though - i’m more interested in his social life, his relationship with amon the first priority. how long has he known amon, did he approach amon or was it the other way around, when did he start serving amon, do amon and he have similar goals, how ‘loyal’ is he to amon, was he already amon’s subordinate when amon killed his father, did he help amon kill his father, why does he even serve such a guy in the first place... yeah, all that and more. hopefully those are going to be addressed. then there’s dean... if dalim’s goals + ambitions are purely for the sake of his older twin, i’m gonna cry a river. even moreso if his determination is so strong that he still chooses dean over his kira-kira labu for alice. now if cybird really does pull that off, consider me IMPRESSED. HOT DAMN.

them aside, in general his relationship tree seems complicated... he has strained relationships with harr + zero + loki + oliver, though it seems that he and harr still can seem to hold ‘conversations’ with each other... lancelot + seth don’t like him... idk if he was already involved in the day everything went dark operation, but if he was then ray + fenrir would definitely knock him down... lmao that’s a lot of hostility there, and that’s as dalim. as dum, zero + ray + fenrir + oliver are still wary of him haha! well, i hope his interactions with the rest of the cast will fare better / some of those relationships may not be as strained as they seem???

and the romance... since dalim’s human experimentation is a step farther and darker than edgar’s history of murder, there is no way you are going to make me swallow the possibility that he could go down the same route and be pardoned by cradle through trial. or in any way going to be redeemed + forgiven / set free quickly. no, i won’t accept it either if amon does something similar to a claudius and suddenly decides to say that he pulled dalim along for the ride (rather, i’d be furious). ends i’ll accept are dalim himself demanding for or receiving proper judgement for his actions. the feelings between dalim and alice are there & acknowledged, sure, but sadly regardless of what ending they physically cannot be together.

too angsty??? maybe it is, since i personally feel that his situation has the potential to feel more... well, military/war-fitting than the other suitors. i’m not hoping for that scenario simply because i want that extreme angst + drama, but rather because it somehow doesn’t sit right with me that someone so goal-focused, someone who seems to have walked down the wrong path of his own volition, who stated himself that he isn’t human and won’t let ethics stand in his way (zero’s route), would allow himself to be easily forgiven for all that he had done. it’s like a disservice. believe me, i like redemption arcs. but for something severe like what dalim dabbled in for what seemed like years... redemption almost sounds too kind.

i hope whatever they have planned for dalim would appear reasonable and satisfying, both to how they will portray his character and to the plot of his route as a whole.

tl;dr: more magic tower info. his history with amon. tweedle twins drama, bless. more insight into his relationship tree. cybird, dalim/alice’s foe yay has potential, pls don’t mess it up.....

#askdfghjl #the read more break went into the ask bubble like???#it looked odd so i transferred my response to text instead #i'm alright thinking about mousse + dean but dalim... ooooh boy #this ask made me laugh bc i recalled that some friends and i talked about something like this last year and it was messy #this post isn't any better than those convos lmaooo but i'd like to say i tried #i have other backlogs but i'm too excited to be home + finally sleep in my bed again BLESS

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lavenderek · 4 years

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hi guys julie and i were talking about potential star wars stories that aren’t a part of this whole skywalker destiny shit all the canon movies can’t seem to let go of

and julie’s idea surrounded lesbians and a very heavy presence of Life Day because she hates me and wants me to be unhappy

my idea does not have life day in it because i have a soul. this was my idea that i pitched to her while i did my laundry and i dont think she was very impressed but i am impressed with myself.

so our main character is kristen stewart but purple. like her skin is a dusty sort of pastel lavender. but don’t let that fool you into thinking she is delicate - she is Indiana Jones But Backwards And In Space. her hair is like leonardo dicaprio’s in titanic, but wavy.

her name is Gax McKu and she is an archaeologist. she is the protag of a series. her whole thing is that she likes to discover and learn about ancient cultures and artifacts, but she fuckin hates museums. and if another archaeologist is sponsored by someone who instructs them to bring the artifact to a private collection or a museum, she tracks it down and steals it and puts it back where it is supposed to be. so it’s sometimes indiana jones and sometimes ocean’s 11, because she has to do a heist to get the thing back.

it’s just that other cultures and societies are lateral moves from gax’s own, neither superior nor inferior, and if somebody took some shit from her home planet she’d be peeved. besides, if we “discover” all the shit and take it away, there will eventually be nothing left for future scientists and historians to “discover.”

anyway, i digress.

this all takes place well before the prequels.

ACT I

we find our protagonist at a dig site, and she has unearthed something totally baller like the fossilized bones of a gigantic space condor or like a prehistoric buried treasure or something, and she’s just like crouching and dusting it carefully, looking very shrewd and sexy. she’s probably got like colleagues also dusting shit and one of them brings her a rock and they talk about the rock. idk.

this planet is like a mixture of how white people see africa, and australia. like some parts are a desert and some parts are a jungle kind of moment with lots of alien creatures.

the people whose home planet this is, is - you remember in return of the jedi when there is a keyboardist who looks like a big soft elephant puppet?

it’s those guys.

so they come up to gax at the dig site and interrupt her work, and she is very debonair about how she stands up and brushes her hands off to speak with them. they’re mad and they’re pointing at her and stuff. she understands their language and speaks to them in english like han does. she’s like “i don’t know what you’re talking about. we are here for this excavation only.”

they take her to one of their cities in a vehicle that’s like a wide flat oval thing with a single wheel underneath in the very center. roads are on faintly glowing tracks. this isn’t an extremely urban type of city, there is a lot of greenery and the buildings are etched adobe clay. they are well maintained. this is a people who take care of their community and have a lot of dignity.

she is brought to what we would assume is a beautiful chapel or church or something, with lots of colors painted in a very small geometric tessellation, but gax isn’t shocked or moved by this so we can assume she is familiar with these cities and culture.

inside there is a vast collection of like beautiful stoneware, like marble and opal and granite and shit. lovely. but the biggest pedestal is empty. they glare at her and say stuff to her. she’s very gruffly like, “why would i take your moonstone sphere? i already catalogued this, check with jan bourno.”

they insist and so she has to travel to another city, with a nervous friend who is john cho but he’s got a computer head like that computer head guy in cloud city.

don’t tell me who this guy is or correct me that it’s just a thing he wears like google glass, because i don’t care. it’s a computer head and im the boss.

john cho’s name is Flienn and he’s got a devastatingly handsome beard.

they go to the other city because she’s got to investigate who took the thing. then she finds who took the thing and it’s a white guy, obviously. she fights him. gax has this cool laser knife that uses the same tech as a light saber but it doesn’t buzz as loud or glow as bright, which means she wears it in a holster on her belt, because she’s impossibly hot. flienn is held back by henchmen. he’s very damsel in distress. but gax wins and gets the bad guy to tell her who hired him.

he was paid to get this thing because it is expensive and the rich guy collects rich stuff. he communicated through envoy and all he has is a name and a planet. the rich guy’s name is pelius bragnar. he’s scary. flienn checks on his computer head and tells gax that all records of bragnar have been wiped from any kind of system.

ACT II

they fly to pelius bragnar’s planet, and it’s a forest planet but it’s not like the endor moon, it’s just a very vertical, tree-based city with a lot of stone paths and structures based around the trees. this place is very urban, with a huge class gap. it is heavily policed and obviously corrupt. she meets an old colleague who is now a prosecutor. she is played by gabourey sidibe. her name is Graunda. she calls gax Sabine, and it turns out gax isn’t her birth name, which flienn did not know but gax makes it clear he’s not allowed to call her sabine.

graunda is like, “yeah i know pelius bragnar, i was trying to shut down his gang that operates a drug ring and has the police force in his pocket, and so to control me they kidnapped my little sister. i can tell you where their gang does most of its operations on this planet if you promise to save my sister.”

gax is like, “i don’t know what about my chosen profession indicated to you i was some kind of rescuer of sisters.”

“ok, i’ve known you for like fifteen years and it’s not like you don’t have a history of vigilantism,” says graunda, “but go off i guess.”

flienn is all, “the sphere probably isn’t being kept where they do their gang business, but this is all we have to go on.” flienn’s whole job in the narrative is to be stressed and point out the obvious in case the viewers are kathy and don’t get it. he mapquests the way there with his computer head and they have to devise a carefully designed plan to get in, this is the ocean’s 11 part.

gax is expecting graunda’s sister to be like some 19-year-old and is not expecting her to be the pinnacle of beauty and femininity. she’s in her mid 30s and has big hips and perfect dark skin and almond eyes with like orange eyeshadow. she looks like a monster high doll if monster high dolls were fat and shaped like real people. her hair’s in twists that she’s got all along the crown of her head like a tiara, and then the rest of her hair is in these two low buns on the back of her head and they’re really big and round. they are wrapped in a golden thread. like my point is she’s a total babe and there is a fuckload of sexual tension.

her name is Lamaa. not like llama, the accent is on the second syllable.

they find her like locked in some kind of interrogation room. flienn cracks the code to the door. lamaa’s obviously been roughed up a little bit, and is tired.

lamaa is super upset when gax tells her they can’t leave yet. gax is like, “sorry to add to what has probably been a shitty week for you, but what i came here for is a moonstone sphere.” maybe she goes over the history of the object a little bit. idk.

they spy on somebody who somehow reveals where pelius lives, and there is a gala there next week. they aren’t expecting the tech in this room to have spyware that detects flienn’s computer head the way your work computer knows when you’re trying to plug your phone into the usb port to charge. they have to escape. lamaa is super smart but only ok with weapons and doesn’t have a lot of upper body strength so there’s a lot of sexy peril.

they escape by the skin of their teeth and are now wanted by the corrupt police. they have to hide out in like the tree planet equivalent of a shitty motel and there is a hot love scene between gax and lamaa obviously, like, duh. it’s very steamy and people will be jerking off to it for eight hundred years.

flienn is bi. he doesn’t have a love interest in this installment, im just putting it out there.

ACT III

they go in disguise to the gala, which means they have to dress in formal wear, which is also extremely sexy. lamaa wears a silky backless gown and her hair is coiled in a rope braid beehive. gax wears a formal vest and her hair in a slight bouffant. flienn wears a traditional fancy costume that involves sheer fabric wrapped around him and covering part of his head. he is not religious and doesn’t usually dress this way, but he has to hide his computer head. also he’s wearing eyeliner because why don’t more dudes wear eyeliner? it’s not even because he’s bi. lots of dudes wear eyeliner where he is from.

they sneak around and find the sphere. i guess this is ocean’s 13, when matt damon has to seduce his way into the diamonds room. they get caught in there and are all held prisoner. gax and lamaa argue but it’s obviously just because lamaa is very scared of pelius, which makes flienn even more scared of pelius, which puts gax in a bad mood. she doesn’t really get scared until the physical danger begins.

the physical danger begins. pelius comes in, The pelius. he is a twi’lek. he does a lot of sinister taunting and gax is mad because she’s nervous.

lamaa escapes the ropes she is tied up with somehow and is able to get gax’s laser knife to her and they have to fight pelius’s henchmen, and they steal the sphere, and while she’s there anyway lamaa steals all his fancy gold and jewels and sticks them in her cleavage. they climb to the roof and use flienn’s drapes of fabric to zipline down some like fuckin ropes strung along all the treehouses and escape. pelius is like curse you gax mcku, i would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling adults!! and your little computer head too!!! he is left as a future antagonist.

lamaa is obviously a target now on the tree planet, so she goes back to the elephant puppet planet with gax. there’s another love scene but gax finds all the jewels and shit in lamaa’s bra. she’s like, “you can’t keep these.”

lamaa is like, “i figured, i just didn’t want him to have them. i don’t know where these go.”

so future stories will probably involve them trying to put those things back while also being chased by pelius and his drug lords.

they all return to the dig, and now lamaa is wearing archaeologist clothes like gax, and her hair is pulled to the back of her head with a fancy barrette. gax is once again interrupted, but this time it’s by the guy who stole the sphere in the first place. he’s like, “pelius is going to kill me for giving up who hired me, and it’s your fault.”

gax is like, “you’re an embarrassment to the science of archaeology. you’ve gone against the very tenets of our profession and i don’t care what happens to you.”

this obviously makes him feel shitty, but rather than internalizing it he just hates her guts. he leaves, and she goes back to the dig and doesn’t watch him go. but he glares with contempt over his shoulder, because he will also be an antagonist in future installments.

and that guy’s name?

SHEEV PALPATINE.

i’m just kidding, these are all new characters, his name is like george or something.

the end.

give me money.

#YES i named kstews character after the character she plays in the totinos sketch YES im a girl #space fights #thing by betp #gax mcku

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itachi-uchiha-deserved-better · 4 years

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Fun Meta asks: 3. 4. 5. 11. 17. 20. 23. 25. -Sorry for asking so many. Curiosities of one writer to another. Feel free to omit any of these.

3) What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I have this scene in my head between Itachi and my OC. She’s chasing him down against orders after his massacre of the Uchiha clan because she refuses to believe that things are what they look like. And when she manages to catch him, she’s able to use her mind prison jutsu to stop him from leaving and tells him about how no matter what anyone says, She refuses to believe that he is the monster the village wants to paint him as. As she’s trying to convince him to come back to the village with her, her body is weakening more and more from the chakra poisoning caused by using her jutsu. Eventually he gives her something, a sort of vague acknowledgment that she might not be wrong. He tells her that he may need her help if Sasuke wavers from the path Itachi has set for him but he can’t risk her remembering anything, so he uses Tsukyomi on her, leaving her near death in the forest for her Anbu teammates to find.

4) Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

We know the details of the war. We are unfailingly familiar with the facts. Michael led the nine choirs against Lucifer and his followers. We know that Lucifer’s assault on heaven was swift and viscous, striking for every advantage, exploiting the weakness to be found in soldiers hesitant to lash out against those who once were called brother. We know that in the heat of the battle, Michael called the seven remaining arch angels together. Among the cacophony of blades and bloodshed the seven marched and behind them a solemn silence followed. Together they marched and they struck at the dragon. “Beloved,” they cried, “Why, beloved Lucifer? Why have you done this? You were the first in God’s eyes.” We know that the seven cried as they pierced the dragon’s hide and brought to bear on him the full force of the power of heaven. We know that our father lost the war, but we know in the way a student knows the facts of history. They may sit and memorize the hows and the whys of history, but they are at their core, disconnected from it. So it is for us. We know what happened during our father’s rebellion. We understand the nature of our father’s sin, the sin which we share by our shared blood. We lack the intimacy of memory. We know, but these events are no more than words on the pages of our minds.

I wrote this as an intro to a WIP called Children of the Damned, a story that was supposed to be about a group of angels who hadn’t fallen from grace but were cast out of heaven because they were the children of lucifer. They were supposed to be a neutral force, something between demons and angels who’s job was to protect all of humanity- the good and the bad. The project never really went anywhere but I still have the intro draft sitting in my WIP folder.

5) What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I have a character called Zero (she was originally from a DnD campaign that ended up falling apart.) and her whole shtick is that she is a researcher for the Arcanum- basically an orphan who managed to get into the big magic school of the setting and is now a glorified grad student researching for her thesis and has to bounty hunt to fund her research. She is socially awkward, painfully shy, very disenchanted with the world but fascinated with her chosen field of study and constantly stressed out by budgets and deadlines. And since I’m an eternally stressed out grad student I relate to her pretty hard.

11) What do you envy in other writers?

The ability to see and work towards an overarching plot. I can do drabbles pretty well because my brain works in scenes, but I have a really hard time stringing those individual scenes together into something coherent with an ultimate end goal.

17) Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Absolutely I think that people perceive my writing differently than I do. I mean, all of my writing is ultimately informed by my own life experiences and ultimately no one else has experienced my life, so I’m sure that readers are viewing my work through the lenses of their own experience. As for me? Probably? Idk I am pretty vague with my online presence so I really have no idea what people perceive about me. As for surprising people about my motivation....Honestly I really don’t know. My motivation to write is usually because I have a scene in my head that wont leave me be until I put it on paper and sometimes that leads to a larger idea and sometimes I just leave it at that.

20) Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

So Idk that it’s something most people pick up on, but I am a percussionist at heart and so Cadence in writing is a big thing for me. One of the things they teach you when you learn, say, snare drum for instance, is to use words to identify certain rhythmic patterns. Well my brain took that and sort of applied it to all language. There are things, feelings that you can evoke just by substituting a short word for a longer word. For example- Pain, Hiss, Break: these are all short, sharp words. And using them in a sentence will provoke a different sort of sensation or feeling than words like agony, mournful, shattered, breath which are longer more lyrical words. Idk if it makes any sense to other people, but that kind of cadence drives the imagery in a lot of my writing. I have an essay about it (or did at one point).

23) What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

The Ichor Blade. Three characters- Matthias, an older man, a healer who’s formed a deal with some kind of dark entity and uses the power of the dark magic he has gained to heal people at the expense of his own life. Zero- an arcane acolyte from the arcana consortum, she is a very adept mage, but clinical in her approach to magic and tasked with hunting down rogue magic users as part of the agreement that funds her research. And Illomenn (I-LL-OMENN), a creature of supernatural origin known as a Hex which are essentially manifestations off all things that trouble the world. Illomenn is a minor hex, the manifestation of bad luck. They are brought together by chance after Matthias and Zero encounter several Major Hex’s- plague, malice, and war. Zero is affected by plague and cannot use most of her magic without it destroying her body. Matthias is trying to help her undo the curse and in the process they find Illomenn and recruit his help in using a relic called the Ichor Blade to destroy the curse and to seal away the hexes from the world.

25) What part of writing is the most fun?

Honestly? Watching people read what I wrote and listening to their thoughts afterwards. Its kind of like cooking for me. The actual process of making something is fun, but the most satisfying part is knowing that other people enjoyed it.

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popstarryeyed · 5 years

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Ok so idk if I’d like Hozier or not so can you give me some of your favorite bops bc me stumbling aimless around his music seems like a recipe for disaster

Well, I'm certainly biased because I love Hozier, but I think he's got a lot to offer. He's got a fair amount of range so, odds are, there's at least one song you'll enjoy.

I think the best place to start is Take Me to Church. Anti-Catholic sentiments, depictions of love/sex as powerfully human acts of defiance, and admiration for powerful women are common themes found in his songs. Also, it’s the big hit so it’s kind of obligatory.

If you like TMTC, you may also like: Moment's Silence (about oral sex and also sexual abuse in the Catholic Church), Foreigner's God (about feeling alienated from Christianity)

Politics pervade a lot of Hozier's work - including all the anti-Catholic songs I've listed - but there are some songs I think I'd specifically highlight as Political Hozier. Nina Cried Power would be the big one, a thank you note to the history of protest music and how we can look to that history as inspiration in these dark times. It features Mavis Staples, an iconic gospel/soul singer who performed at civil rights marches in the '60s.

If you like his political commentary, you may also like: To Be Alone (a dark tune that directly calls out rape culture, and my absolute favorite Hozier song), Be (a love song with apocalyptic and Biblical imagery, as well as lyrics directly referencing refugees, the border wall, and the current U.S. president)

If Anti-Catholic Hozier or Political Hozier aren't your vibe, you might want to look into Music Nerd Hozier. He's a huge fan of blues, jazz, and soul, and some of his most upbeat songs involve name-dropping his favorite singers and tunes. NCP falls into this category to a certain extent, but I'd also recommend Jackie and Wilson. When you said "bop", it was immediately what came to mind. It's a story about a guy who sees a girl in a public place and imagines his whole life with her (including naming their children after famous soul singer Jackie Wilson). At the end of the song, he looks up and realizes he's been so lost in the fantasy that she's left already without him noticing. It's a sweet song, if a little sad near the end.

If you like Jackie and Wilson, you may also like: Someone New (a fun sing-along that name-checks Aretha Franklin in the bridge), Almost (a bop where pretty much every lyric is the name of a jazz standard)

But let's be real, we all know the memes - you're probably here for Forest Prince Hozier. There are killjoys people who listen to his other songs and go "lol he's just a normal dude those jokes are so dumb", but they're ignoring a giant segment of his discography that deals with nature and mythology.

Most of my favorite Hozier songs fall into this category, so I'll recommend two.

Like Real People Do is about someone who's been buried alive, who falls in love with the person who digs them up. There's a little bit of humor to it, and it's ultimately a very sweet love song.

If you like LRPD, you may also like: Work Song ("No grave can hold my body down / I'll crawl home to her"), In A Week (a love song between two decomposing corpses), Shrike (a bittersweet lost-love song comparing the relationship to that of the shrike and its thornbush)

In the Woods Somewhere is a dark story-song about running into the forest. There are very few songs that create an atmosphere the way this song does - it's a masterpiece of immersive storytelling. Listen to it in a thunderstorm for maximum effect.

If you like ITWS, you may also like: Run (a love song between the sea and the land, sung in an otherworldly falsetto), NFWMB ("If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd want to be felled by you, held by you / fuel the pyre of your enemies"), Talk (the narrator uses the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice as a seduction technique)

A few other songs that don't quite fit into these categories, but I think are worth mentioning:

From Eden - a happy, chill-sounding tune that's actually from the perspective of the Devil. Incredibly well-written.

Cherry Wine - a devastatingly honest depiction of someone trapped in an abusive relationship. one of his best songs, and his most emotionally affecting. have tissues nearby.

No Plan - an upbeat love song about how how the universe is chaotic and will end someday. The epitome of 'optimistic nihilism'.

Wasteland, Baby - a tender folk song about falling in love at the end of the world.

I know this is a lot, but I hope it gives you some ideas about where to start. I wish you well.

#ask #anonymous #hozier #nina's musical log

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ofieugogyshz · 4 years

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🌻 uwu

🌻 describe what home is like for you and your f/o. (do you live together? would you like to? how do you decorate? what makes it comfortable for you both?)

I'mma allow myself a little bit of freedom with this answer, as a treat

We live together! It's been difficult to find a balance between our design... Aesthetics i guess? I have a lot of butterfly decor [or i guess they'd be pokemon in this case], we have some fairy lights on the pretty patio, a room for our trophies (Actual trophy roon) but he also uses it for a work room if he's behind on any paperwork, and we have a library of books there, organized by genre. fic and nonfic on different sides of the wall, and the space in the middle that hasn't been filled in yet has figures we like why yes my idol kids are next to some cool dragon figures, we can do both. Even though Lance winds up doing a lot of his work in here, the room manages to keep some semblance of relaxation. I have a small altar in there as well, incense and candles stored in there, as well as the unfortunate amount of tarot decks i own. (Several others have been strewn about the house, to wherever I took them, with probably seven or ten in the living room, and three or five somehow in the bedroom, leaving Lance curious as to how that always happens whenever it's time for me to round them up.)

There's another room for me to do crafting in, and a lot of my fiction actually winds up in there, as well as cosplay/craft reference books, and any art design/myth/ancient history books i might be borrowing for inspiration. And then forget to put back until he asks where it's at.

The patio is as wide as the house, the backyard unfenced as it goes into, like, idk a meadow/prairie that ends with a forest and eventually runs into the indigo league's mountainside.

It looks very domestic on the outsideand then you see the inside and you are like, "ah. Yes. They do indeed live here". My apt gets that comment a lot LOL but thats bc i have a lot of shit on display.

The living room has a gaming center for me, mostly organized by me since i'm the gamer here. Stuff like big controller accessories are hidden behind entertainment consoles' doors, along with spare cables and controllers. There's a glass coffee table in the center of the room, with navy/dark blue couches and a corner table connecting the two as they angle towards the coffee table and tv.

There is a fireplace off to the side that lacks a couch, that is not in use except during winter.

The kitchen is one that has one of those... I don't know the name for it, but a counter that connects to the kitchen? Not an island but kinda technically yes. You could technically sit and eat here. There's a dining room/table a bit behind it, sort of sandwiched between the kitchen and living room.

There's an upstairs behind the entertainment console wall, which sometimes i regret having, especially when i'm tired. But upstairs is different sort of rooms, especially one used as a supplies sort of room for various things (usually for our pokemon). One or two are guest bedrooms, though we don't always have people over; it's nice to have and if one of us doesn't want to wake the other at any point in the night, we might sleep in one of those rooms. Though one of those rooms probably got redesigned recently by lance so if silver stays over for training he can have a space that's not the couch. Apparently he deserves a proper space to sleep or something :p so more like one guest bedroom by now. I feel embarrassed just saying this but there's also probably a workout room mostly used by him and some of our pokemon. ;>>

There's also a pc/pokemon transporter somewhere around the house, mostly for me to use since i've caught a lot of Pokemon, and we like to let our Pokemon roam around freely. It's not nearly as varied or big an area as Oak's Lab is known for, but for where our house is, it gets the job done. Especially since we're not housing an innumerable amount of Pokemon.

As for the master bedroom, all i have in mind is a big canopy bed, since i've always wanted one, with plenty of room for us to sleep, especially if any Pokemon come in the middle of the night. Pika technically has her own little bed, but she usually winds up curled up on a pillow next to me, or next to my torso. The bed is super plush and the comforters are a big comfort when one of us isn't there before we fall asleep. The bed frame itself manages to look simple but ornate. We put glow in the dark stars along the canopy curtains because I saw some one day and bought them, half jokingly asking if we could put them on there, and he said yes. The canopy curtains are a dark, regal blue; the bedsheets an amalgation of ones that i've kept over the years or saw and wanted, though Lance has managed to prune the amount of blankets kept in/on the bed, since I'm bad at deciding these things myself. The pillows are a mix of shaped ones and plush ones, couple of plushes i've snuck in there while he's gone, just bc i could.

There's of course a walk-in closet, or at least one big enough that you could technically walk-in, and I told him to get a separate closet for all of his capes. He still keeps some in the bedroom. I have a separate one in the craft room for all of my costumes and fabric. You have to.

There's one of those makeup dresser things with the big mirror, a vanity? but I don't often use it for its intended purpose, aside from my minor makeup collection being stored on there. My two hanging nail polish racks are on each side of the mirror, which DOES see more use than the eyeshadows and lipsticks I have. A handful of tarot decks also sneak their way onto it, mostly bc i wanted a flat surface instead of the bed to read on, even tho i could have used the coffee table in the living room, but i wanted to read in the bedroom. There's another small, personal altar here, on a wooden table under the bedroom window, with picture frames of us, a couple of candles and incense holders, one of which is that really cool dragon one from the in-verse equivalent of Wal-Mart, a mixture of fairy and witchy [or i guess fairy, ghost, and dark type ] aesthetic knick knacks, a simple incense holder in the middle, which burns quietly, slowly, as smoke trails upwards and disappears into the bright, sunshine creeping in from the window above the table

Of course im just talking about a dream house of a sort here, since i won't get to have any irl.

Despite what sounds like a lot of space, we still manage to keep it very homey for us, with little touches of decor that remind us of the other. There's always room for two in any room if we wanted to hang out together, and a couple of places we make cozy regardless.

Our Pokemon all have a place to roam about; any that are small enough to be indoors that we're currently training or working with have their own food bowls that they share from.

The place never feels too big, even when one of us is missing the other, because of all the personal touches. All of the Pokemon that are free to wander and keep an eye on things when we're both out. Things we all have to keep busy. Work, training, hobbies, etc. It always feels like home whenever we enter. And we never fail to find each other in our house; like two magnets, we'll just know which room the other might be cooped up in.

Maybe this isn't quite what the ask was going for, but i needed the reprieve from "shitty ass 1bdrm crowded apt in vegas", so i took it and ran. Thank you.

Oh and we'd still have a landline phone, with an answering machine, and a phone in most of the rooms. But it sees less and less use since smartphones became commonplace. But we still have them, just in case.

#long post #i sure hope tumblr doesnt eat this #but i took screenshots just in case #bc i worked on this answer for like an hour on phone LOL #no there is no phonograph in the bedroom but i'm a little tempted now that i think about it #my champion

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nastybuckybarnes · 5 years

Text

Wicked Games - Two

Pairing: Bucky x Reader Soulmate AU

Summary: Everyone in the world has a soulmate. And until they meet that soulmate, everyone in the world stops aging at 25. Wrongfully accused of a horrendous crime and on the run, you happen to bump into the man who’s been avoiding you for the past seventy-five years.

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Injuries (Minor), Confrontation???

Word Count: 3.5K

A/n: THE GEOGRAPHY OF BROOKLYN AND ALL SURROUNDING AREAS HAS BEEN CHANGED FOR THIS STORY!!! Bucky centric chapter kinda. Idk I like it.

MASTERLIST Previous Part

Recap:

You run away from the store with a few other people then take a hard right down a back lane, leaning against a building and trying to catch your breath. You shove off of the building after another moment and run deeper into the older part of town where many buildings are either abandoned or worth millions.

As you’re running you hear a sound that makes your stomach drop.

It gets closer and closer, far louder and scarier than the sirens.

They’ve let the dogs loose on you.

~*~

You don’t think you’ve ever ran this much in your life.

Your legs aren’t hurting anymore, they’re numb. Your lungs have seemed to stop begging for oxygen and are making do with what little they’re getting. Your head is spinning and you feel like if you don’t stop soon you’ll pass out.

Pushing yourself farther, you come across the same little forested area that brought you to this town.

Not giving it a second thought, you run between the trees, looking desperately for somewhere to hide.

“She’s in the woods! Have units on the other side waiting! We cannot let her escape!” You shiver at that voice and run deeper, head snapping up as you hear something rather promising.

The bubbling of a water body.

You follow the sound, growing anxious as you hear the dogs barking approaching. You reach the water and hesitate for a moment, glancing over your shoulder.

As you see all the German Shepherds running towards you, you jump into the little river, surprised at how deep it is. You swim as fast as you can, breaking the surface and gasping for breath as one of the dogs jumps in after you.

It’s teeth latch onto your right calf and you scream, water getting into your mouth and choking you.

You desperately try to kick it off, but it’s teeth stay stuck in your leg.

“We’ve got her!” A different man shouts. You begin apologizing to the dog in your head, then lift your other foot and kick it as hard as you can. It yelps and falls off of you, whimpering as it swims back to the shoreline.

You pull yourself up on the other side and take a step, gasping as fiery pain licks up your entire right side.

Leg giving out, you tumble to the ground, cursing and moaning in pain. Your eyes flash open as you see the dogs back in the water, swimming across quickly, the cops not too far behind.

Gritting your teeth, you shove the pain away and force yourself to your feet, limp-running through the trees as fast as you can.

As the barking and yelling starts up again, your adrenaline stops the pain from being as severe. You find your way into a grassy area, and a quick look around lets you know that this is someone’s backyard.

You’re back in the fucking town.

Moving swiftly, you make your way through the streets, realizing you’re in the old neighbourhood where not many people live.

A large, nice-looking house catches your eye and you bit your bottom lip, an idea striking you.

You peel off your soaked sweater and carefully take off your shoes, setting a trap. As you move up the street, you drop one shoe then throw the other through the window of an abandoned, run down house.

Limping as fast as you can to the nice house, you tear off a piece of your shirt and stick it to a board on the abandoned house, dropping your sweater outside of it.

You move fast to the nice house, eventually making it there. You drop to your knees and crawl towards the back as you hear the dogs and cops down the street.

Testing each and every window leading to the basement of the house, you almost cry as a window slides open silently.

Being as careful, quick, and quiet as you can be, you climb through the window, your feet landing on the hard concrete floor of an unfinished basement.

Your right leg gives out for a second time and you bite back a sob at the pain, struggling to your feet to close the window.

You crawl through the basement, searching desperately for a first-aid kit. Just as you’re about to give up and bleed out all over some stranger’s basement, the familiar Red Cross looks down at you from upon a high shelving unit.

It takes everything you have not to scream as you pull yourself to your feet to grab the kit, but once it’s safely in your grasp you collapse onto the floor again, only a few feet away from the furnace.

Carefully, so very carefully, you peel the fabric of your pants away from your leg, whimpering with every brush against your wound.

It’s dark in the basement, thankfully, because if there’d been light... you doubt you’d be able to stay conscious.

Below your right knee is soaked. And not with the cold water of the river. It’s warm and sticky to the touch.

You take a shaky breath in and open the first aid kit. The bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide is heavy in your hands, and you dread using it. So much so that you think you’d rather let your leg get infected.

Pulling up your shirt, you stuff a wad of the fabric in your mouth while tipping the open bottle over your leg.

Your leg spasms and you scream a little, tears streaming down your cheeks at the newfound pain of the wound being cleaned.

You use half the bottle, just to be safe, then start tightly wrapping your entire calf with gauze, using an ace bandage after the gauze has run out.

With the tightness of the gauze and bandages around your leg, the fiery pain has been reduced to a dull ache, an ache that you can certainly live with.

You pull your arms to your chest and let out a shaky breath, trying to control your emotions as you think about how the Hell you’re going to escape someone’s house without getting caught.

~*~

“Again?! We lost her again?! How the fuck does she keep getting away?!” Bucky snarls, slamming his fists down on his desk.

“Calm down, Buck!” Steve’s commanding voice yells, shoving his friend’s shoulder.

“She’s smart. Clearly she knows what she’s doing, or at least has an idea of what she’s doing. There’s only so many abandoned buildings on your street. Your house is the only inhabited one, and I doubt she’d be stupid enough to go there anyway. You can keep your eyes open in a way that the rest of us can’t. We’re setting up a perimeter as we speak and a team is searching the woods.”

Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose, the metal plates in his arm whirring softly as he tries to calm the fuck down.

“Steve, we were so fucking close. How, how does she keep getting away?” Steve sighs and sits on the brunet’s desk.

“I don’t know. But I do know that there’s definitely a lot more to this case than we know. I looked into her family and her history. She’s basically an orphan at this point. Her mother and father both died in a car accident. Her older brother is working for NASA and hasn’t spoken to or about his little sister since their parents died five years ago. (Y/n) graduated from high school two years early with honours and got scholarships to basically any Ivy League schools. She had a hard time deciding but eventually chose to go to Princeton.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows at that. He figured you were smart, but not Ivy League smart.

“She was interested in Civil and Environmental Engineering, Evolutionary Biology, Sociology, and Soulmate Studies. Spent nearly a decade learning at Princeton, got 2 Ph.D’s and is on her way to her third.”

Bucky’s silent for a moment as he processes this. “So... Doctor (Y/l/n), huh? And no connections to anyone? Not even a best friend?”

Steve scratches the nape of his neck and sighs. “I talked to some of her co-workers. They all had generally the same story.”

“Which is what, exactly?” Bucky asks impatiently.

“That Rumlow was against her having friends. They all essentially said that whenever he came in and saw her talking to any of her coworkers he’d have a fit. Some say she’d come to work the next day and have a hard time lifting things or would appear to be in pain when she moved.”

They’re both quiet.

“So he was beating her, you think?” Steve shrugs, then sighs. “It would make sense as to why she called the cops. But I can’t confirm nor deny anything till we have her statement, which we will get.”

“So let’s try to create a hypothetical situation here,” Bucky begins, pacing the soundproof room slowly.

“Rumlow’s been beating (Y/n) for... their whole relationship. One day she snaps? Gets fed up and fights back harder than either of them thought?” Steve purses his lips. “Maybe Brock took it too far. I mean, any abuse is too much abuse, but what if it went beyond that? What if he wanted to do more than just hurt her.”

Bucky freezes and turns to Steve. “You think... you think he tried to kill her? Why? Why would he even do that? They’ve been together for how many years?”

Steve sighs, “Three and a half. But I mean, maybe he was going off the rails a bit. Closer to the end there he was getting a little more antsy.”

“I think you’re grasping at straws here, Steve. When you get her statement then you can decide whose side you’re on, but until then she’s still a murderer. And she still needs to be brought in, no matter what may have happened.”

Steve rolls his eyes, “I realize that, I just don’t want to rule out the idea that it was self-defence.” Bucky nods, plopping down in the desk chair. “I’m not ruling out anything. Hell, I can’t rule out anything cause I’ve got nothing but fucking ideas to go off of.”

“But ideas are better than nothing. And we don’t have nothing. We have what her coworkers told us. We have the pictures of the crime scene. We have the autopsy, and we have... general knowledge of where (Y/n) is. I say we grab some coffees, grab the pictures of the crime scene and come up with a few plausible scenarios.”

Bucky feels his lips twitch upwards at the suggestion.

“If you’re trying to bring back old memories to put me in a better mood... fuck you cause it’s working.” The two share a laugh and Steve stands up, shaking his arms out.

“I’ll be back with the pictures and the coffee. You clear your desk of anything not related to this case. And maybe order a pizza or something. I have a feeling we’re gonna be here for a little while.” Bucky looks at his watch then nods.

19:47

“Yeah, You’re right. But I start working evenings tomorrow, so I’m going home to sleep no later than four, alright?” The captain salutes his friend then leaves the room to gather the supplies.

Bucky orders the pizza then clears off his desk as Steve asked, trying to get himself into the correct mindset.

The crime scene photos are... interesting to say the least.

"The whole apartment is trashed. Like they were fighting in different rooms,” Steve notes around a mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

Bucky inspects the pictures carefully, the one from the bedroom holding his attention.

“Okay, give me a story for this one,” he says while pushing the picture in front of Steve.

“Well... blood on the bed... could be her period?” Bucky scrunches up his nose, not liking that possibility. “I’m no expert, but I don’t think women bleed that much.” He has a point, the white bed is soaked in bright red blood, much more than could be from menstruation.

“Okay.... One of them is asleep on the bed and the other comes at them with a knife? Hits them but they don’t die. So person one with the knife picks up the pillow and tries to suffocate person two. Person two finds the knife, grabs it, and stabs person one somewhere then runs out of the room.” Steve points to the trail of blood leading out of the bedroom and Bucky nods.

“Person one follows person two out of the room and person two throws a vase at them. Person one tries to stab person two again with a shard of the vase but person two...” Steve trails off, trying to picture what could’ve gone on in the living room of the apartment.

“Most of the vase shards are by the doorway to the bedroom except for one. And it’s bloody. So person two must’ve been stabbed a second time unless person two grabbed the shard and stabbed person one. Fuck, where are all those papers with the DNA tests? If we know whose blood is on which items it’ll be a shit ton easier to figure this out.”

“Last I heard Pierce had the papers, and he wasn’t letting them go,” Steve informs. Bucky curses under his breath and takes another sip of his coffee.

“Is he here tonight?” Steve’s eyes widen as he realizes what Bucky’s gonna try to do.

“He’s working all week. Next Monday though he starts a four-day weekend. Has his granddaughters dance recital. So then it’ll be safe to get what you want.” Bucky groans and throws his empty coffee cup at the wall, frowning as the paper cup bounces to the floor.

“We could have things to go off of, but instead we’re stuck guessing. But that’s fine, it doesn’t matter. Back to business. I’m gonna read over the autopsy again and I’ll tell you what I hypothesized happened.”

Bucky picks up the document and starts reading thoroughly.

‘MANNER OF DEATH: Homicide.

CAUSE OF DEATH: Exsanguination due to multiple stab wounds. (trunk and lower extremities)

FINDINGS: 1. Generalized pallor and evidence of exsanguination. 2. Multiple stab and incised wounds of trunk, lower extremities with one (1) stab wound penetrating right back into chest cavity; two (2) stab wounds penetrating right thigh; and another single (1) stab wound at lateral right chest penetrating into right lung. 3. A few other minor blunt-force injuries of head and trunk.

LABORATORY RESULTS:

TOXICOLOGY:

1. Blood: a. Ethanol: 0.16 gm%. b. Drugs: Cocaine present at less than 0.1 ug/ml; cocaethylene present at 0.2 ug/ml; quantity not sufficient for further examination. Lysergic Acid present at 1296 ug/ml. Further examination required.

2. Urine: Positive for cocaine, cocaine metabolite (ecgonine methyl ester), and cocaethylene, with negative EMIT barbiturates screen.

3. Ocular fluid: Ethanol, 0.16 gm%.

Bucky puts the paper down and rubs his eyes for a moment.

“Rumlow was on drugs?”

Steve looks up at that then snatches the papers away from Bucky, skimming over the words then raising his eyebrows.

“Shit. He was. And not a small amount either, it seems. What the Hell... he didn’t do LSD... this is some other drug with Lysergic Acid. It has to be. But what the fuck drug would he be on? Especially when he had work that day.”

The two sit in silence, a bad feeling washing over them. “Was she ever involved in any Chemistry? Would she have been trying to develop a new drug and tested it on him?” Steve shakes his head, picking up a different file, one with your picture on the front of it.

“Nothing besides high school chemistry and a few labs for Biology. She never would’ve worked with this stuff.” Bucky groans deeply then picks up the autopsy again. “It says here that one of the stab wounds on his leg was one inch wide and half an inch deep. The knife we found at the apartment was two inches wide and six inches long. So I’m gonna guess that she stabbed him with a shard of the vase.”

Steve nods at that and sighs. “Well, what else?”

Bucky tosses the autopsy onto the desk and puts his face in his hands.

“Person one stabs person two in the bedroom. Person two stabs person one back. Person one tries to suffocate person two but person two gets away and throws the vase at person one. Person one grabs a shard and attacks person two. They fight physically for a while until one of them eventually gets stabbed twice in the chest, thus killing them.” Steve nibbles his bottom lip for a moment then shakes his head. “This would be so much easier if we knew what her injuries were... are. Because she couldn’t have possible escaped unscathed. Hell, I’m kinda surprised she escaped at all.” Bucky nods, grabbing another piece of pizza and starting to read a different paper, hoping it’ll give him any evidence he needs to move further with this case.

Bucky heads home at three, having a hard time keeping his eyes open after over 36 hours of non-stop working.

He unlocks the door to his house and pushes inside, closing and locking the door behind himself then walking to the couch. He plops down and closes his eyes, tempted to fall asleep in his uniform right then and there.

Slowly he opens his eyes, something about his home not feeling right.

Taking a deep breath, he furrows his brows.

It smells like chemicals.

Instinctively he grabs his gun, switching off the safety and moving silently around the main floor of his house.

His heart is beating quickly in his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins.

He moves to search the second floor, eyes alert and looking for anything that may be out of place. Every single room he searches is empty and the exact same as he left if before leaving for work whichever day he left.

That leaves only the basement.

~*~

A door squeaking wakes you from your light sleep and you open your eyes, fear filling you as you hear someone take slow steps down the stairs.

Pushing yourself to your feet, you move as far away from the stairs as you can get, finding yourself cornered by a locked window.

It takes you a moment to work up the courage to try the lock and when you do, you thank your lucky stars.

It slides silently out of place, the window pushing out with a soft ‘pop’. You bounce a few times to gain momentum and right as you’re about to jump, a booming voice shouts at you.

“Hey! Get the fuck down from there, raise your arms above your head!”

The voice makes you shiver and you slowly raise your arms, head falling down in defeat.

“Turn around slowly. Keep your hands up.” You do as he demands, your right leg burning.

“Lift your head up.” You reluctantly do so, your breath leaving you as you see the man.

You focus on his gun for a moment then move to his face, hating him immediately.

He’s absolutely gorgeous. Deep, enticing icy blue eyes; a jaw carved by Michelangelo himself, which is covered in a scruffy beard; brown hair falling out of a man bun and framing his perfect face.

Fuck this attractive man for pointing a gun at your chest. Fuck him for looking like a fucking Adonis while wearing a godforsaken police uniform. Fuck yourself for choosing his house to hide in.

You can’t think of anything else, your world blurring and spinning due to anxiety and blood loss. You drop your arms despite his words and try to steady yourself. It’s no use, however, because in an instant you’re falling to the ground and the world is going black.

~*~

Bucky stares in shock as you lie unmoving on the ground, your chest moving steadily but your eyes closed.

He puts his gun away against his better judgement and pushes your hair out of your face, staring at you for a few more moments.

You’re absolutely breathtaking. So much more beautiful than the pictures he’s seen. And you're right here. The last, biggest piece of this puzzle is in his basement.

But for some dumb reason, he doesn’t want to turn you in just yet. A selfish part of him wants to hear your side of things before he brings you to the station where you’ll be questioned and treated like garbage. As far as the majority of the station is concerned, you’re a coldhearted killer. Your fate is sealed there.

He slaps your face twice lightly, looking for any kind of twitch. When he doesn’t see any he scoops you up in his arms and walks upstairs. He puts you into the bathtub and cuffs your hands behind your back, his eyes finding the wound on your calf.

He reaches for it instinctively, wanting to make it better, then rips his hand back. He stares at his own hands in shock and disgust before getting up and walking out of the bathroom, locking the door on the way out.

He heads upstairs and closes and locks his door, desperate for a shower and a chance to clear his mind.

Kicking off his boots, pants, and utility belt, he starts calming down a bit. Making sure to lock his gun away and bringing the key into the bathroom with him.

He turns the water on hot and lets it run for a few moments, undressing all the way then stepping under the water and letting it soothe his muscles. A soft groan leaves his mouth, and he can’t help but think about you.

His mind conjures up the image of you, shirt clinging to your body after your swim earlier, showcasing curves that weren’t documented in any file. He hisses at himself and shakes his head hard, trying to shake the thoughts of you away.

He finishes his shower quickly, feeling more relaxed than he would’ve thought, and gets changed into some sweats and a tight black t-shirt. He lies down on the bed and takes a deep breath, body and mind ready for at least a few hours of sleep before he goes and deals with the stressful issue in the bathroom.

The problem that seems to be occupying his thoughts in a way he really didn't think was possible.

~*~

TAGS:

FOREVER:

@smolbeanbucky @wildefire @inumorph @impalatobakerstreet @nanna022 @mummy-woves-you @m-a-t-91 @wtfholland @bookgirlunicorn @beautifulwisdom2001 @deep-sea-glitter @mrhiddles-81 @iamwarrenspeace @bitchacho25 @escapetheshackles

MARVEL:

@fallenangelfangirl @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @maladaptive-ninja-returns @cliffordasparagus @april-14-blog

BUCKY:

@chuuulip @buckyssoul @nerd-without-a-cause @natashasnight

WICKED GAMES:

@lilypalmer1987 @bisexualfangirlsblog @i-am-always-famished @clarysthing @starkxpotts @e-wolf-98 @i-run-on-green-tea @nerd-without-a-cause @jamesbuckybarnes13 @theonelittleone @bradfordsgreekgod @littledeadrottinghood @ashlebetty @izhetbean @mu-mu-rs @bruisedfaye @bisoueffleurer

#Bucky x reader #Bucky barnes x reader #cop!bucky x reader #cop bucky x reader #soulmate au #bucky x reader soulmate #bucky x reader au #bucky x reader soulmate au

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verannaca · 4 years

Text

so I saw Frozen 2 for the fourth time

i have so many questions.

there’s a relatively negative (and very long) review beneath the cut so pls read at your own risk. and, of course, spoilers.

I’ve seen Frozen 2 four times now and yikes. I’d kinda hoped it would get better with each viewing, but it’s somehow worse??? I really loved the first movie; it literally changed my life in an incredibly drastic way (don’t ask) but it had been very important to me over the past six years, and...I’m so disappointed.

My initial reaction was disappointment, and I should’ve stuck with it. Like, wtf was that? But some parts were also really well done? It left me so conflicted lol

PROS

Vuelie was a good way to open the film; I quite liked the nostalgia :’)

The intro scene in general was good; I liked seeing more of their parents, although idk what their father was thinking telling them such a tale before bed lmao seems like some shit my mother would do

All is Found is my favourite non-depressing song in the movie, and it opens it beautifully. ERW has a wonderful voice.

The animation really is beautiful; it looks so realistic. Specifically the clouds and the one scene of the waves crashing over the pine trees. It looked amazing!

The music is good but not great. FTFTIF is my favourite; it’s so catchy and cheery. I really liked TNRT, and SY is perfect, but these songs just weren’t as catchy as the ones in Frozen?? I’m thankful for AURORA tho, that was a lovely gift.

Bruni was absolutely adorable (even tho he was an obvious cash-grab for merch lol), 10/10 love Bruni. Bruni + Elsa = even better.

Anna looked absolutely breathtaking throughout the entire movie; the redesign they did animation-wise really works in her favour, and now she’s rocking those Emilia Clarke eyebrows which is a hell yes from me. Her final look gave me all the feels; I can’t say I’m a huge fan of the dress and hairstyle?? it seemed a bit too not Anna, but at the same time, it showed her growth and maturity and I’m very happy with that.

As dark as it was, the shipwreck scene was beautiful. It was handled beautifully; their reactions were devastating. There is a huge con here, but I’ll save that for later.

The ocean battle was really neat. The water looked so good, and Elsa looks good wet???

The whole scene in Ahtohallan was well done; I liked the memories. I wish Anna had been there; she deserved to see her history, too, and it wasn’t fair that Elsa got that spotlight once again.

Everything after Elsa freezing was absolutely breathtaking as well. Anna’s reactions, the song, the scenery-- it was tragically beautiful.

Kristoff had the two best lines in the ENTIRE movie: “I’m here. What do you need?” and “It’s okay. My love is not fragile.” It’s so rare to see a good, supportive relationship in tv/movies, be it heterosexual or homosexual, it doesn’t happen. It’s so rare. So this was a beautiful break from that; the faith he had in her was amazing. Thank u. the real mvp.

The scene with Anna as she accepts the fate of her future; as she takes in a breath and realises/accepts that her home is gone, and her blood family is gone. Everything about it was perfect. You could feel her emptiness. Poor baby needed a hug :(

I liked that Kristoff also hugged Elsa when she returned; it showed that they were friends, which is really important for Anna tbh

I think that’s it for pros??? Now for the cons.

CONS:

Gonna start this off simple: the plot was weak. This is unfortunately not an unpopular opinion; it made no sense. It was too convoluted to the point where nothing was explained.

The pacing was off, and it was ridiculously anti-climactic. The layout in general seemed a bit weird tbh I could definitely sit here and justify all of it, but I shouldn’t have to.

They gave us no reason to gaf about this voice that Elsa was hearing. How long had she been hearing it for? Why was she so drawn to it? Why didn’t she think she was just hearing things? Or maybe she did at one point and then realised she wasn’t crazy?

There was almost no character development. Elsa was the same as she was in Frozen, but this time, it was just annoying. She never learned or grew. Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character even though she’s the protagonist; I have no words for how frustrating this was to watch. I miss the Kristanna bickering. I liked their dynamic overall; I understand their insecurities and lack of ability to communicate because of it, and I liked how non-toxic they were. Overall, they did love and trust each other; they believed in and supported each other, even though they had a falling out (again and again) and were separated for most of the film (again, wtf?) EA had no development together, and honestly, they were annoying asf as a duo. There was no communication and no understanding. I will say that Anna’s fear and frustration throughout the entire movie was absolutely 100% understandable and sensible; she’d already lost too much before, and wasn’t prepared to lose anything else. I just wish she’d been portrayed a bit differently??? And it would’ve been nice if Elsa had stopped for, like, two minutes to be like, “hey, are you okay, you seem clingy and worried” but instead she just kept running and didn’t gaf.

It was over dramatic for the sake of plot, when it didn’t have to be. Elsa didn’t have to continuously try and push Anna away “for her protection.” They absolutely could’ve done the vast majority of things together. Fuck, they could’ve gone to the dark sea together. Anna could’ve stayed on the beach while Elsa tackled the Nokk. Then when Anna saw that Elsa was perfectly capable of protecting herself, they could’ve parted ways then and done whatever it was they needed to do. Or, Elsa could’ve taken Anna to Ahtohallan?? They may have discovered there that Anna couldn’t enter, but then they’d be given the opportunity to communicate, and Anna would’ve at least been included, since this was her history, too.

If this is a movie about two sisters, why the ever loving fuck is it all about Elsa and her origins? What about Anna’s origins? They were her parents, too. Sure, we ask “why does Elsa have magic,” but why doesn’t Anna have magic? Why was Elsa the “gift”? Why is Anna’s superpower “love”?? And why is that “superpower” only valid when it’s in regards to Elsa? Why is Anna so strong, physically? Emotionally? Personally? Is it just her? Why isn’t she an element, too? What’s with this bridge bullshit? Why the fuckkkk is Elsa the “fifth spirit” when she’s ice and ice is literally just water? I have so many questions.

How the heck was Iduna Northuldra? Did she become “whiter” because she remained inside a castle for twenty years? Or was she always “white passing”? Or was she adopted into the forest? Who are her parents? Did anybody miss her when she ran off to the kingdom? Her scarf was from “one of [their] oldest families” and yet nobody seemed to know who she was? And what do you mean “oldest families”? Are there no remaining members of that family? Nobody who was missing her? Nobody who would’ve recognised her daughters who are literally carbon-copies of her????

The shipwreck scene and the following scene pissed me off soooo much in the theatre lol First, it really was beautiful how they did it, but the interactions felt out of character. Elsa brought up the memories of their parents’ demise without consoling Anna at all. Not only did she just do it without at least a warning, she then proceeded to leave her behind in her own fit. Which, okay, yes, to an extent that makes sense; she was over-ridden by guilt. But those were Anna’s parents too. Elsa was all she had, and Elsa left her behind. I just- AND THEN in this moment of severe grief and horror, as these terrible things were revealed, Anna was pushed away again to be left on her own to deal with things alone. She’d JUST sacrificed her own feelings for Elsa, and Elsa’s response was to shove her away. WHY. I just??? hello??? Like, Elsa does care about Anna, right? That’s canon? So why tf would they write her like this?? jfc

Every single new character was wasted potential. Mattias above all else was very interesting, and should’ve had at least ten minutes more screentime??? I liked the scene of him and Anna discussing whatever, but there should’ve been more. They both cared more about Arendelle than anyone; they were both sworn to protect. There could’ve been more of an on-screen relationship there. (and don’t fucking come at me with your gross-ass ships please, tyvm). Honeymaren and Ryder were there for ??? merchandise? A reason for Elsa to stay behind? Queer-baiting??? I don’t get it. They did,,, nothing. Yelena? Did nothing. Why do these name-characters do nothing?? What’s the point???

This was advertised as a “big adventure” but had hardly any adventure. Frohana was apart for most of the damn movie, the action scenes had little consequences, the “climax” was ??? what, Elsa freezing? Who cares?? It’s obvious she’s going to come back. The wave heading for Arendelle??? Yeah, that would’ve been a good climax if it actually did any damage. But no, I guess Elsa can teleport now? aight. and now she gets to play hero again even though she didn’t do shit

The plot(?) was very predictable, and didnt really have a twist. Old white guy kills innocent POC. Okay. That’s real life, yeah? It’s shit; it happens, but why was this whole movie based around that? Was it a political statement? We don’t really need more political movies these days??? People are aware, and things are shit as is; idk it just felt forced. But this is a v controversial subject so imma shut up lol

THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES. Unless you’re Anna. Then you suffer severely cuz,,, fuck her, right? The entire cave thing (as beautiful and needed as it was) could’ve been prevented entirely if Elsa had just fucking communicated. But instead, Anna had to suffer again in such a severe way. Her feelings DID have consequences; they effected her severely and even influenced wreckless behaviour. But then?? it’s all over. And suddenly, it doesn’t matter. Suddenly, who cares? Elsa returns and is (for some unforeseen reason) magically forgiven. This ISN’T HOW SISTERS ARE. If my sister pulled half the shit Elsa did, the first thing she’d be greeted with is a slap across the face and a very loud “fuck you.” THEN she’d get a hug and some tears. You don’t fuck with people’s emotions like that. And the fact that there were no serious consequences is infuriating.

Anna becomes Queen without context. Did she want to be queen? Did she suggest it? Did Elsa decided “eh fuck it i’m bored, your turn” and just dump it on her? Anna is a free-spirit. Yes, she was absolutely devoted to her kingdom; her people always came first; she was an incredibly loving and selfless princess, but was she truly prepared to give up that freedom to be Queen? I think she fits the role beautifully; she was absolutely born to rule. But is she happy? Or is she yet again cleaning up Elsa’s mess, since that seems to be all she does?

Why did Elsa stay in the forest? Is it because she felt like she belonged with the spirits? With the people? Away from civilisation? All of the above? None of the above? And how did that conversation go with Anna? How did she explain; “hey, I know I died and fucked you up and promised that we’d always stay together, but I’ve decided I’m gonna leave you behind again and stay here with these people I barely know.” Did Anna object, or did she see the positives of being away from someone so toxic???? It makes no senseeeee, they were so good together in the first movie; it all feels so out of character. Both of them feel out of character.

There were few (very few) moments in which they really were like themselves:

The charades scene.

“You think I’m c R A Z Y?”

Head tilts with Bruni.

Anna laughing at Elsa’s braid-stache.

Elsa making toys for children.

The pleasant Kristanna scenes at the beginning.

Anna’s anger scenes.

Even Elsa’s personal drama???

but that’s it? I’ve seen it four times in theatre, and a few times online (though mostly in pieces) so I don’t think I missed anything. Perhaps I’m blinded by the frustration that this film caused. Overall:

The plot was weak.

The animation was beautiful.

Kristanna wasn’t the Kristanna we truly know?

Elsa was dramatic and annoying because she had no development.

Anna was demoted to a clingy side-character and was given a half-assed purpose.

The music was meh.

There was too much and yet somehow not enough.

It was a mess.

Six years. SIX. I-

ugh.

final note: PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IF I MISSED SOMETHING. I think it’s also important to note that if you went to the theatre for 2 hours of entertainment, that’s great, but not the same as those of us that have dedicated six years of our lives to these characters? So please don’t come @ me if you were just a movie-goer. I also wanna say that there were a lot of parts of this movie that I loved and will hold onto, but overall, the movie as a whole was meh. I LOVED Anna & Elsa in Frozen; they had good development and had reasons for being how they were. They had a good dynamtic and worked well together. I hated their relationship in F2; it was toxic and forced in many ways; they didn’t interact nearly enough, and when they did, they were bitching for the sake of plot, which was very frustrating.

This isn’t a hate post so please don’t come at me lol my opinion is entirely irrelevent in the grand scheme of things, but hey, we’re here to chat and share, right?

sigh.

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