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cowboycakes · 3 years

Text

Loyalty

Chapter One: Memories

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x fem!Reader

Synopsis: You are a Marleyan warrior who holds the Jaw Titan, tasked with infiltrating Paradis and destroying it. But what happens when love causes you to betray your mission?

Themes: NSFW, 18+, action, betrayal, multi-chapter series.

Warnings: Female bodied reader, explicit sex (penetration/riding, gentle and fluffy, Levi is a virgin), violence/severe injury and blood/battle scenes, threats, mentions of death. Profanity. Spoilers seasons 1-4.

Word count: 2.7k (recently edited to make it flow a little better!)

Note: This story contains spoilers for all seasons of aot (not the manga). It is canon divergent (reader has the jaw titan rather than Porco and reader is on the mission with Reiner and Bertholdt.) Some scenes differ/are more rushed than the scenes they line up with in the actual show. This first chapter is set in season 3.

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The most important lesson you'd learned on this journey was that you couldn’t help who you fell in love with. Love would strike you like a viper by surprise, sinking its fangs deep inside of you and injecting you with lethal poison. Your poor soul was so torn.

The viper in question manifested itself as someone quite inconvenient. A raven haired man - the strongest, most cunning, most selfless man you’d ever observed. And all the while, he was still an island devil.

You were supposed to strike back at the viper, sinking your much larger set of jaws into his heart. Your mission - and specifically your mission - was to end him and his kind. The remaining Ackermans were dangerous. They were a threat to your and your comrades’ titan powers. The goal was to get close to him, to find his weaknesses and strengths. To know his ins and outs like the back of your hand. And then you’d have the advantage. Then you would kill him.

That plan had obviously backfired.

You stood on top of the wall now, alongside Reiner and Bertholdt after they’d just exposed the entire mission to Eren and the others. You could feel the static in the air from a few yards away. They were about to transform.

That wasn’t the problem, though. The problem was that the duo was looking right at you, waiting for you to slash your hand and join in. To rush to their side and eat Eren while you had the chance. Then you could all go home and be celebrated as heroes.

Instead, you were staring back at them - a big, sweaty, teary-eyed, nervous mess.

It was time to betray your homeland.

“I’m sorry Reiner, Bertholdt…” you sob, pulling your hand to your mouth, “but my loyalties lie elsewhere, now.” You rip your teeth through your hand.

Three bolts of lightning shake the wall simultaneously. You emerge in your strongest form - the jaw titan. Your titan had a hardened face like a skeleton with an elongated jaw that stuck out like a wolf. Sharp ridges lined your mouth like fangs, and bright red orbs glowed through your eye sockets. A mane with a color that mimicked your hair grew down from your neck.

You were terrifying. Which is why you needed to get the hell away from these scouts before they decided you needed to die.

You had no interest in defeating Reiner and Bertholdt, that was Eren’s problem now. You were more concerned about the captain on the other side of the wall. He could certainly handle himself, but Zeke had quite the throwing arm. Things could go south very quickly.

You launch yourself down the wall, using your giant talons to slow your fall. You scan the field as you descend, trying to find any sign of Levi.

A voice booms your name to the left of you as you reach the ground.

It’s Pieck in her titan form.

Pieck was like a sister to you. It’s been so long since you’d seen her. You feel a tinge of regret now. Pieck was never going to see you the same again.

You narrow your red eyes at her and charge with full force. Your jaws snap at her heels as she whips around and runs full speed across the field. You finally see who she was running to - Levi and Zeke. Zeke was cut out of his titan form and being held by the hair in Levi's hand.

You pick up your pace, grazing Pieck's legs with your sharp teeth. She stumbles when the two of you go over an indent in the ground, only a few yards from your destination. Her mishap allows you to sink your teeth into her legs. She turns around to bite your neck in response, crushing your weakest spot. You jolt your head, flinging her away from you.

She gets up fast after hitting the ground, continuing at full speed toward Zeke and Levi. You are quick to go after her again, but slow down once you see Levi drop Zeke and bolt out of Pieck's way.

Did he really just give up Zeke that easily?

Suddenly, you feel someone cutting through your titan's nape.

Your vision goes dark.

Out of the darkness, you’re thrown into an old memory. Ah yes, you remember now. All of it is so vivid, right in front of you again.

You’d sneak away to the Captain's office at night frequently. You’d tell yourself these visits were for the mission, to aid you in knowing your victim a little better. His weaknesses could certainly reveal themselves in the comfort of his study. But they certainly weren't for your mission anymore. You’d started to simply crave his company.

You’re walking down the dim halls when you hear two sets of footsteps approaching, quite rapidly. You’re met with two giant bodies slamming into you from behind, grabbing your arms to keep you from running.

“You know, Y/N, I’m getting worried about these visits of yours,” Reiner says, tightening his grip on you. You yelp. “There’s only so much you could be talking about in there with him. There’s only so much shit you could be making up about yourself. He’s going to catch on.”

“He isn’t!” you struggle, “And I’m more clever than these sluggish devil bastards! I’m getting all the information I need!”

“Guys, keep it down!” Bertholdt whispers, frantically looking around to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

Reiner let’s go of you as you topple to the ground in front of him, your hands and knees landing on the cold brick floors below.

“Kill him faster,” Reiner whispers. The two of them make their ways back to their rooms in silence.

You finally stand up when you can’t hear their footsteps anymore, dusting your knees off and collecting your nerves.

You were the oldest titan shifter on the mission from Marley, quite a bit older than Reiner and Bertholdt. You were supposed to be bossing these little shits, not the other way around. But it seemed they were always calling the shots. You deserved to carry out your particular mission however you pleased.

Levi's door is cracked open a bit further down the hall, allowing some faint light to spill into the hall. And inside, there he was as usual, sitting at his desk with a tea and reading some boring literature that you could never understand.

“Long day?” he questions without looking up from his book.

“Yeah,” you sigh, plopping your body down onto a leather sofa near his desk. You lean back into it, reaching your arms up to stretch out. “Thanks for always letting me join you in here. It helps me de-stress.”

You had made a routine of coming in here after a fateful night in the dining hall, after you and Levi realized you could click really well in conversation. You two had shared your entire life stories with each other by now - yours obviously contorted to fit a reality that didn't consist of you being raised in Liberio. You'd grown very close to him, way closer than you had with anyone else in the Scouts. Even though he'd never met the real you, you could relate to him - his struggles and his past especially. His cynical personality had a strange and almost addicting way of brightening your day, and you'd always make sure to tease him for it. Not to mention how handsome he was. He'd catch you stealing glances at him sometimes, but you had a feeling he secretly liked the attention.

If you didn't know better, you'd think you were falling for him.

Your favorite stories of Levi's were of the Underground. It was such a peculiar concept to you, even though it faintly reminded you of life in Liberio. You realized that the people living in the Underground were lucky, in a way. They were oblivious to the world above, secluded from wars and titans. If only every other circumstance of theirs wasn't so unfortunate.

You smile at him as he finally looks up from his book.

“Your tea’s over there,” he says as his eyes dart to the coffee table.

You quickly grab the tea and move it to your mouth.

It was way too hot.

You feel titan steam shoot up from your lips. It had really burned you that badly. You slap a hand over your mouth before the steam could escape, the sound echoing off Levi’s office walls.

“What’s the matter? Tea’s gone cold?” Levi questions, his voice dark. His eyes had been on you the whole time.

“Hmmph?” you say through your hand.

Levi gets up and advances across the room, stopping just in front of you. You’re still frozen on the couch.

“I said, what’s the matter?” His hand meets the one still clamped over your steaming lips.

“Is there something you need to hide under there?” Levi’s finger slips under one of yours, forcing it away from your face. Then another.

Oh shit.

This was a setup. He was actually on to you.

Shit! Regenerate! Faster!

Another finger is forced away from your face. You close your eyes tight, focusing all of your energy to your lips.

This may be it. Right here. Reiner and Bertholdt were going to kill you.

The final two fingers are pried away at once. You open your eyes to look up at him innocently, no steam in sight.

“Uh…” you stutter.

He sighs.

“Sorry. Just trying to keep tabs on who my enemies might be.”

“So you… burned my mouth? Dickhead,” you laugh. You needed to come off as clueless as you could.

Levi’s eyes delicately scan your dewey face. Your lips were still throbbing and swollen. You always wondered if that’s what had compelled him.

He leans down, kissing you softly. Your eyes were wide and your face was motionless for a moment. Then you returned it, cupping a hand sweetly around his jaw.

In a flash, you’re transported to another memory.

You're sitting down on a wooden bench on the outskirts of the combat training arena. You remember being so tired on this day.

You lean your head back and close your eyes, letting the sun soak into your sweat-covered skin. Eventually, a shadow blocks the light shining on you.

You open your eyes to see Levi.

“Want to spar?” he taunted.

“Hell no,” you pant, still limp on the bench.

“You sure? Might be fun to have your ass kicked three times in one day.”

You chuckle at him.

Levi sits down next to you, leaning forward to support his elbows on his knees. The two of you sit there quietly, your ears filled with the sound of summer insects and a cool breeze through the trees.

Your eyes eventually wander to Levi again. He looks upset all of the sudden.

“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he states.

You’re shocked he’s actually bringing it up. After the kiss broke, he just went to sit down at his desk. He acted like none of it had ever happened.

“No, don’t be. I kind of liked it,” you confess, leaning forward to be at his level.

“This can’t continue.”

You feel a tight sensation in your chest. You’re hurt.

“Tell me about it,” you sigh, putting your head in your hands and thinking back to your real duties for once. You were only making things more complicated for yourself.

Of course, it did continue. The two of you avoided each other for a couple of lonely weeks until you nearly ended up in a titan’s mouth on a mission. It had you gripped tightly in its hand, completely helpless to it in your human form. You were about to transform when Levi swooped in and sliced its nape.

He helped you to your feet once the titan hit the ground and scolded you for your carelessness. You just stared back at him once he was quiet again. And he stared back at you. For a bit too long.

That night, you ended up in his office again and performed a teary-eyed confession about your feelings for him. It was in those moments that you discovered you didn’t care about the mission anymore.

You’re thrown into another memory.

This one was so intimate. So special. You never wanted to forget it.

“I’ve never,” Levi pants underneath you, “done something like this before.”

You’re straddling his thighs, tracing circles into his abs with your fingers.

“That’s ok, I’ll guide you,” you whisper.

Candlelight glows off of both of your naked bodies in Levi’s dimly lit bedroom. A surprise make out session led to Levi being curious, and the both of you taking all your clothes off in a rush and throwing each other onto the bed in desperation.

You move your hand from his stomach to his erection. Levi lets in a nervous breath once you make contact.

“Hey, you’re gonna do great,” you say sweetly, “you still wanna do this, right?”

“Yes, I do. Just nervous I’m not gonna… do it right.”

It was ironic to see humanity’s strongest so nervous about what was between your legs.

You shush him quietly as you move your lips down to his tip, slowly taking his length into your mouth. You drag your lips up and down as he lets out tiny grunts and bucks his hips up slightly to meet you.

Once he’s warmed up to your touch, you scoot up over his legs until you’re almost straddling his length.

You look up at him to see his eyes wandering over your bare body, lingering in your more intimate spots.

“You’re really beautiful. I’m not sure if I’ve ever told you that,” Levi murmurs as he moves a hand up to glide over the side of your waist.

“You too,” you smile at him. “Are you ready?”

He nods.

You lift yourself up gently before easing him into you. The perfect sensation of him pressuring your walls made your breath hitch. You feel him let out a huff of air once he's fully inside.

You start to rock your hips up and down rhythmically as you lean forward to place your hands on his collarbones. He gently thrusts back to meet your hips. His mouth was parted, his face was flushed and sweaty. He grips the sheets in his hands as you continue riding him.

Everything felt so warm and wet. So gentle and passionate.

Both of you let out little whines as you speed up.

"How can I," he moans, "make you... finish."

You grab his hand from the sheets and move his finger to your clit, pleasuring yourself with it for a moment.

"Just like that," you whisper. "You're doing so good."

The two of you continue rutting against each other on the bed - two wet, tingly, whiney, pleasure-filled messes.

All of it felt so right. It was honest.

The memory gradually crumbles in front of you, plunging you back into the darkness.

It wasn’t the intimacy, the long talks, or the sex. It was none of that.

It was the fact that he was a brave and honest thing in your world full of lies. It made you fall for him.

Levi made you rethink your entire role in this war. What right did you have to come and destroy people’s lives? These people were innocent for all you knew. They were the victims. But they had spirit, guts, and passion that no one on Marley did. You related to them. You loved them.

So whose side did you really belong on?

And why were you being shown these memories?

And what was this bloodcurdling noise suddenly ringing in your ears?

It sounded like… your screams.

You finally enter reality again with a gasp, coughing up leftover fluid in your lungs from your titan form. You look down frantically at your body to see all of your limbs severed. Someone had cut you out of your titan form.

The culprit was crouched right in front of you.

Levi.

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Hi guys! I've been sitting on this fic for awhile, unsure if I wanted to post it or not - I sort of wasn't confident abt it. But I hope some of you like it! I will be coming out with another chapter soon. Also, if you left a request, I promise it will be up soon! Lots of love - Shep

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#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman smut #levi smut #aot x reader #aot smut #snk smut #levi imagine #levi ackerman fluff #levi fluff #levi aot #levi x y/n #snk levi #levi ackerman #aot fanfiction #levi fanfiction #attack on titan

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vcidgalpin · 3 years

Text

Heart Monitor PT 2

Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Eventually)

Season 1 Masterlist

Word Count: 1789

A/N: I AM BACK! Sorry I had a lot of stuff going on in my life, but I am here again like 9 months later. I haven't watched season 1 in forever so I hope this reads well. Anyway: Stiles continues to have bad ideas as to how to teach Scott control, and a glimpse into Y/N's past is shown.

Warnings: Mentions of sex

“It’s her,”

“What are you talking about?” Asked Scott in response to my claim.

“Allison. She doesn’t make you weak Scott, she makes you stronger. Like, remember what you said about the night of the full moon? You were thinking about her. About protecting her,”

“Okay and?” He continues to look puzzled as to what I was getting at,

“And remember the first lacrosse game? You said you heard her voice when you were out on the field,” Stiles followed on from what I was saying. “That’s what brought you back. Not to mention, you didn’t try to kill her in the locker room. At least not like how you tried to kill me,”

“Let it go Stiles,” I suppress a lighthearted laugh, rolling my eyes.

“But it’s not always true. Because literally every time I’m kissing her or touching her-”

“That’s not the same. When you’re doing that you’re just another hormonal teenager thinking about sex. See, you’re thinking about sex right now. Aren’t you?” I punch Scott’s arm to draw him out of his daydreaming state, scoffing.

“Perv,”

“Sorry,” He bashfully smiles, rubbing the part of his arm as it heals. I do forget my strength sometimes, but at least he can handle it.

“Now when she was holding your hand in class, it was different. I don’t think she makes you weak. I think she actually gives you control. It’s like she’s a kind of…”

“Anchor,” I interrupt, not really meaning to speak aloud. My stomach starts to churn, and I can feel energy instantly leave my body at the concept of anchors. Feeling a pair of eyes on me, I shake off my intrusive thoughts and take a sip of my water, looking at Scott.

“You mean because I love her,” Water goes down the wrong pipe in my throat as I hear Scott’s confession., and I try to clear my throat. “Did I just say that?”

“You just said that,” Stiles smiles at his best friend.

“I love her,” The smile on his face keeps growing, to the point where it seems painful.

“That’s great. Anyway, moving on-” Stiles tries to move the conversation along, clearly already bored of this lovey-dovey talk, but once again being interrupted by Scott’s daydreaming monologue.

“No I do, I really do. I think I’m totally in love with her,” Okay now I’m starting to feel sick of this ‘puppy in love’ stuff.

“And that’s beautiful. Before you go off and write a sonnet can we figure this out? Because you obviously can’t be around her all the time,” I snort at Stiles’ bluntness but nod along with what he says.

“Okay well what do I do?” A small pout replaces his cheshire cat smile. Stiles starts pacing around a bit before stopping with a lightbulb clearly going off in his head. “Stiles? You’re getting an idea aren’t you.”

“Yeah,”

“Could this idea get me in trouble?”

“Maybe,”

“Is this idea going to cause me physical pain?”

“Definitely.”

Stiles leads Scott and I to the school parking lot, stopping close to a few large dumpsters.

“What are we doing here?” I say, looking around us warily, noticing a senior exit his truck, a pack of smokes in his hand, joining a group of some other guys.

“You’ll see, my young padawan,” I shake my head, trying to conceal the smile that broke out without me being able to stop it. “Right, Scott. Stand here,” Grabbing his friend’s shoulders, he moves Scott in front of him, closer to the clean looking truck. “You have your house keys right?” Scott nods and Stiles continues on. “Hold them up. Like this.” Stiles positions his friend’s hand to be holding the key outwards. “Now, whatever happens I want you to think about Allison. Find her voice like you did at the game? Got it?” He nods again. “Good keep holding the keys,” Stiles then pulls his own pair of keys out of his jeans, walking over to the senior’s truck. Wasting no time at all, he drags his key along the side of the truck, the noise making me wince before the shock of what he was doing even hit me. Me and Scott both stand, mouths agape at the horrendous scratch now left on the paint. Stiles quickly pockets his keys, moving back over to us again before saying “Dude, what do you think you’re doing to that truck?” fake shock and blame fills his loud exclamation, and I see the group of seniors start to move towards us from the corner of my eye.

“What the fuck?” The owner of the truck’s face turns beet red in rage, and Scott stumbles back. I catch the smirk plastered on Stiles’ face. When he looks up at me I just send him a look of disbelief, shaking my head, to which he just shrugs. The mob of seniors (that reek of weed by the way) jump Scott in seconds. I can’t help but feel pain hearing and seeing the impact of each punch as he tries to defend himself, arms half covering his face. Stiles’ shuffles awkwardly over to me, trying not to draw unwanted attention, and takes out Coach’s phone, watching the heart rate rise as Scott continues to be pummeled into the ground. I can taste that familiar smell of blood in the air now, making my face scrunch up. It’s hard to see with all of the fast moving limbs gathered in a big pile, but I notice Scott’s face shift, as though he is trying hard to concentrate. He’s listening for her voice. For Allison’s voice. Surely enough the numbers reach a plateau, not rising high enough to where he would typically shift.

“Stop! Stop that right now! What do you idiots think you’re doing?” Suddenly Mr. Harris bellows, walking over to break up the fight. The seniors disperse, being made to follow the teacher as we step forward to help Scott up from the floor. Blood is dripping from his nose, down to his lips, as he brushes his clothes down with his hands, and Stiles flips the phone around to show Scott the screen. A steady, normal heartbeat.

“It worked,”

Mr Harris saunters back over to us, an angry look on his face, but I’m pretty sure at this point that is his natural resting state. His arms cross in front of his chest.

“I assume you can already guess what I am about to say,” His voice is pissed and sarcastic as always. “Detention after school. The three of you,” Stiles scoffs loudly, instantly flailing his arms in shock,

“What? What for?” I elbow him in the side, maybe a bit too hard, as a way to get him to make sure he doesn’t make it worse, like usual.

“Oh I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you damaged another student’s personal property? Or maybe it’s because you stole a teacher’s personal property? Or maybe, just maybe, I like seeing you punished,” He says the last sentence with a smirk, shaking his head slightly as a taunt. “Need I go on?” The rhetorical question is left up in the air and Stiles’ mouth hangs open, and we watch the chemistry teacher grab the Coach’s phone from Stiles’ hand and then walk off, back to the school building.

“Way to go, Stilinski,” I roll my eyes at his sputtering attempt at a reply.

Stiles and I sit at one desk, with Scott at the one in front of us, in the otherwise empty classroom. Well, except for Mr. Harris of course, who is sitting at the front of the room with his feet up on his desk, newspaper in hand. I pull out a biro and start mindlessly drawing on the back of my hand, catching myself too late when I realise that I was drawing my old pack symbol (the ‘Healer’s Hand’ - which is a hand with a spiral on the palm. A symbol of protection and healing but also a symbol for ‘eternity’. The second meaning always made more sense to me, as the last thing I would’ve called that pack would be ‘healing’). It’s a symbol that is permanently burned into my hip, which I really wish I had never gotten. To be honest, I never really wanted it that much in the first place. I can feel Stiles’ eyes on the drawing, and I quickly move my other hand to cover up the pen marks.

“What was that?” He whispers to me softly, clearly just curious, but I can’t stop myself from quietly snapping back at him,

“Does it matter?” I pause to breathe, calming myself down before apologizing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, I just- I don’t really like talking about it, if that’s okay,” Stiles moves a hand to gently rest atop of both of mine, he peers up to look me in the eyes. I push the hair out of my face and meet his warm gaze,

“If you don’t want to talk about it, we don’t have to, okay? And that goes for whatever. You don’t need to feel guilty or anything for wanting to keep some stuff to yourself,” I let myself smile, looking back down to our hands. Stiles rubs his thumb soothingly along my hand.

“Excuse me, sir, I know it’s detention and all, but I’m supposed to be at work. And I don’t want to get fired,” Scott speaks up suddenly, catching both mine and Stiles’ attention, but not Mr. Harris’. The man continues reading his paper, and Scott suppresses a growl of annoyance in his throat. Scott then whips around to us, and Stiles’ slips his hand off of mine, awkwardly deciding what to do with it. He rests his chin on his hand, his elbow and upper arm supporting him, but his eyes glue themselves to the desk. Scott looks between us, catching the skip of both of his friend’s hearts, but choosing not to say anything about it. Instead he goes on to say “You knew I would heal,”

“Yep,” Stiles replies.

“So you did that to help me learn,”

“Yep,”

“But partially to punish me,”

“Yep,”

“For not being there the other day when your dad got hurt,” Stiles then looks up to Scott,

“You have something, Scott. Whether you want it or not. You can do things other people can’t. That means you don’t have a choice anymore. It means you have to do something,”

“I know, and I will,” After that, I notice Harris placing his newspaper down on his desk.

“Alright, the three of you. Out of here,” We all scramble out of our seats, grabbing our things quickly, eager to get the hell out of there.

#teen wolf #teen wolf series #teen wolf fic #teen wolf fanfiction #teen wolf season 1 #stiles stilinski #stiles x reader #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles x y/n #Scott McCall #teen wolf rewrite

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mandoalorian · 3 years

Note

hiii could you do a drabble with Din?? I was thinking he doesn’t know you have anxiety yet and you’re having a panic attack and he doesn’t rlly know how to handle them?? I thought #16 would be perfect bc protector Din is like “I will fuck up whatever is making you feel like this” (surprise bucket head, it’s their own brain)

Melting Dew [Din Djarin x GN!Reader]

Prompt no.16 “Who hurt you?” — thank you for the request!

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, panic attack, body dysmorphia, food mention, domestic!Din, Din and reader have pre-established relationship.

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 2000>

Masterlist

Din wasn't meant to be back for at least two more hours. The farmers market was about a three mile walk away from where he'd parked the Razor Crest, and he'd taken Grogu with him this time, who was sure to preoccupy Din whilst you were unable to accompany him. You'd spent the past week beaming at the thought of returning to Naboo, and craving the delicious, juicy taste of their native sourberries. Last night, before you fell asleep in Din's arms, you excitedly told him how you were going to purchase enough sourberries to last the entirety of the upcoming bounty hunting season. Din jokingly rolled his eyes at your comment and pressed a chaste kiss into your forehead, always finding your love for the simpler things in life extremely endearing.

Din Djarin spent the majority of his life a lone warrior. But upon meeting you and rescuing Grogu, it seemed like that all changed— and quickly, too. Now he was providing for the little green bean he called 'son', and you, the most beautiful, interesting and equally important person he'd ever laid his eyes on. Your appearance was soft, delicate, and your features were doe-like. In a galaxy filled with hatred and war, you were the epitome of hope and innocence. How could he not love you? He admired your attitude and excitement for life, and he adored the way you cared for Grogu unconditionally, like he was your own child. You were unlike any other person he'd ever met before. You were as pure as melting dew.

So of course he was protective over you. You, Din and Grogu had scowered the most dangerous depths of the galaxy and you all had your fair share of abuse from Imps, crime syndicates and immoral scoundrels. But there were people out there who tried to hurt you. However, they could never even get close to drawing a knife to your neck. Din was always one step ahead. Messing with you was no game. He hadn't let a single one of them live.

You'd awoken early this morning, quietly slipping out of bed and padding over to your closet in search for an appropriate outfit for the day ahead. You picked out a white tunic and embroided belt, along with some brown boots; but strangely enough, none of it seemed to fit. This was your favourite outfit and you wore it on practically all your days off. You loved the flow of it, and the way it hugged all the curves and accents of your body. But today... something wasn't right. The stitched tunic was tight around your arms and boxy on your shoulders, and as you looked in the full length mirror, your heart sank in your chest. The boots made everything worse. The belt didn't hang on your body correctly. And hell, it wasn't even just the clothes. There was something wrong with your hair today too— and your skin had broken out— and the dark circles that graced your under eyes had become significantly more prominent. You felt completely and utterly disgusting. There was no other word to describe it.

You heard Grogu stir from the quarters and you knew it wouldn't be long until he and Din woke up. You felt so embarrassed. So ashamed. The Mandalorian was an esteemed bounty hunter, best in the Guild, and also your husband— but Kriff, if he seen you like this... he'd shove you off his ship and make the jump to hyperspace within seconds! Panic filled you and the palms of your hands became clammy. He couldn't see you like this. He couldn't.

Just as you anticipated, you heard Grogu's garbles, signifying that the child was now awake and ready for breakfast. Din groaned something incoherent and you glanced over to him as he shuffled amongst the blankets. Your mind was still racing. If he saw you like this, he would for sure leave you. You had to hide. But where?

You bolted to the other side of Din's quarters and into the Refresher, turning on the shower and discarding the clothes that had made you feel so monstrous on the floor. Din heard the screeching noise of the Refresher and thought it was strange you were showering so early. The water was always particularly cold on a morning, and you knew this. Nevertheless, he shrugged it off and headed over to grab some pots and pans. He was preparing bone broth for breakfast.

When you didn't join the duo, Din left a bowl of broth for you in the cockpit of his ship. After he finished washing the dishes, he knocked on the Refresher door. "Cyare, are you alright?" he called, his voice rife with concern.

"Y-yes, I'm okay." you lied through gritted teeth. You were sat on the cold tiled floor, a towel hugging your body as you shivered uncontrollably.

"I was going to leave now... for the farmer's market. The walk is quite far so I wanted to set off early. Are you still coming?" Din asked curiously, his gloved hand nervously tracing the details of the steel door.

"I think I'll skip today, but have fun with Grogu, and stay safe." You tried to sound as optimistic and normal as usual, but behind the closed door, a silent tear slipped down your cheek. There was a brief silence and you had considered maybe Din had already left. But then you heard his modulated voice again.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" He knew how much you'd looked forward to going to the farmers market. It was all you had been talking about for the past week. Sourberries.

"I'm fine!" you forced a smile, even though he couldn't see.

Din wasn't convinced, but he knew better than to push you. If you said you were fine, so be it. He believed you. He had no reason not to trust you when you'd been nothing but honest to him since the very day you met him, all those moons ago.

Once you were sure he was gone, you pulled your pajamas back over your head, and climbed into bed. You felt safe, and free from any judgement. You were all alone. And that meant you could cry. So, you did. You sobbed for what felt like hours. You laid on your side and clutched the thin blanket tight to your chest, almost like you were hugging it for comfort. Your whimpers echoed against the interior of the Crest and this was the only time you had been thankful for Din and Grogu not being around.

Until you heard the entrance to the Crest shoot open, with that all too familiar whizzing noise. Dank Farrik— they were back early. They were back and you weren't even dressed. Your eyes were red and puffy, your hair was sticking up in places. You were, to put simply, a mess. But you felt like you were no less of a mess than what you were when you had worn the white tunic and embroided belt this morning whilst they were still asleep. You sunk under the covers of the bed and tried to hide from them. You prayed to the Maker that perhaps Grogu would help you out and use one of his magical force abilities to make you invisible. Then you'd never have to face the oncoming conversation with Din. The conversation that was inevitable.

"Cyar'ika?" Din asked, putting Grogu down on the floor and approaching you hesitantly. Thankfully, Grogu was more preoccupied with the little silver beskar ball he'd always play with. It came from one of the many levers on the Razor Crest. Din gently pulled away the blankets, revealing your tired glazed eyes and your tear stained cheeks. "Oh, my love. What... what happened?"

You didn't answer, feeling a swell of guilt erupt in your stomach. Din removed his helmet and placed it on the nightstand, and your heart jumped at the mere sight of your husband. His dark eyebrows were furrowed together in bewilderment and his honey colour eyes raked your body. "Who hurt you?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave. It was low and gravely; and you knew he was very serious. "Cyare... did something happen? Did someone-"

"No." you cut him off quickly.

No? Din's mind couldn't compute that answer. There was clearly something very wrong, and Din had to find out what exactly it was. Someone must've done something. You were fine yesterday. Had someone been on the ship while he and Grogu were out?

"Whoever or whatever it is— I can fix it. I will hunt them down cyare, you hear me? They won't know what hit them. I can-"

"Din stop," you pleaded with weak gasp, bringing your hands up to hide your face. You felt nothing but shame. "It's not... it's not like that. It's me."

Din's expression changed almost immediately. His face softened, his perfect plush lips parted slightly at your confession. He sat on the edge of the bed and took your hand. "What do you mean?" he quizzed quietly, although he had an inkling he already knew what you meant.

"I got up early this morning, excited to venture out to the farmers market with you and Grogu. Excited to go sourberry picking. But when I got dressed, it was like... something just hit me. I can't put it into words but I just felt so... so... ugly."

Once again, Din's brain simply could not compute your revelation. Ugly? You? How could you possibly feel that way. You shared the likeness of an angel. How could it be?

You swallowed and continued. "And then I got afraid. I got so scared that you'd see me the way I see me, and you wouldn't want to be with me anymore. That you'd run away from me and leave me behind." you shrugged helplessly. Now the tears were beginning to free fall.

"I could never, ever, think that of you, riduur. I love you so much. How could I possibly leave you? Without you, my life would end. It would be meaningless." Din revealed, his chocolate eyes glossy as he cupped your face with his large hand. His thumb traced the height of your cheekbone and you found yourself subconsciously leaning into his touch.

"Don't say things like that," you whispered, shaking your head. "You don't need me around... you already had everything under control before me."

"But nobody to make me smile. Nobody to make me laugh. Nobody to bring me joy... or show me the pleasure of how to love, and be loved in return." Din huffed, pressing his forehead against yours. "Next time you feel this way, please don't hide it from me. Whatever you're going through, we go through it together. Okay?"

You sniffed before finally nodding your head in affirmation. "Okay Din."

Din leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, the curve of his nose bumping into your cheek as he manouvered his body carefully over you. "So beautiful, and all mine." He purred lovingly before licking a stripe over your lower lip. You moaned wantonly and interwined your fingers in his curly brown locks of hair.

It was moments like this that you cherished forever. The sweet touches and soft murmers that made you void of all worry and insecurity; because in that moment, all that mattered was you and your riduur.

Permanent taglist: @paintballkid711 @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos @rocketqueen @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @dybalalover10 @girl-obsessed-with-things @elena-myth @moth-guillotine @pedro-pascal-love @hayley-the-comet @pinkninja190 @maxiarapamaya @autumnleaves1991-blog @artsymaddie @harrys-stan @kennedywxlsh @cripplingmoon @cheekygeek05 @mrschiltoncat @rye-flower @theamuz

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #din djarin #din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #grogu #star wars #baby yoda

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hawkland · 3 years

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My (mostly) Destiel Recs, Round-up #6

Well, between working like crazy on my DCBB fic and GISH and injuring my neck last month I haven’t kept up with my rec posts, so this one is going to be LONG and have a LOT and I’m going to try to break it up into sections, from oldies but goodies (some things I found on very old rec lists) to smutty delights to just tasty little bits of fluff, hopefully there’s something or everyone here. Most of these are not super-long, largely in the 10-25k range, though there are a few beyond that. With all the stuff I’ve had going on I haven’t wanted to lose sleep diving into 100k epics (especially when I’m writing my own right now, lol.)

“Oldies” but Goodies: Here are two great fics written some time way back when but that still definitely slap.

Theodicy by manic_intent (11k) - Probably the most brilliant Godstiel fic I’ve read to date. One of Cas’s first acts as the new god is to make a new archangel. Dean isn’t exactly on board with having his soul re-sculpted into wings he hates on sight (especially as they seem magnetically drawn to Cas), but he isn’t exactly given a choice. He, Sam and Bobby struggle with how to handle their former friend suddenly becoming a vindictive deity - trying to make plans to kill him if they must, which is pretty hard when it seems like Cas is always one step ahead of him. Can Dean hold on to enough of his humanity to provide a conscience to Cas and try to steer him toward good acts instead of destruction? This is one that I can’t say has a perfectly happy ending, but it’s a hopeful and imperfect one that’s just right for how the story plays out.

My Eyes Are An Ocean by entanglednow (10k) - Season 5 AU where Dean averts the apocalypse through a spell that “powers up” all the angels and he sees Cas’s true form - before being rendered blind. Dean tries to adjust to his blindness, Cas tries to deal with his guilt, and it’s just a lovely little read with an ending that’s... *chef’s kiss*

Lots more recs below the cut:

More great reads from some of my favorite authors I’ve recced before:

The Cabin on the Lake by DeanRH (21k) - This may be my new favorite DeanRH fic...at least for the moment. The year is 2152, Sam and Dean are long gone to Heaven, while Cas - stuck somewhere between mortal and angel - remains on Earth keeping vigil, keeping up the hunt, assuming he’ll never see either Winchester ever again. But when he starts hearing things, and imagining Dean visiting him as an angel himself, he starts losing grip on what is and isn’t real, and whether he can trust anything he sees or believes to be the truth. This is one hell of a psychological rollercoaster that kept me guessing right along with Cas until the very end. It also has some super-creepy horror elements, a novel “monster of the week”, and the hot-as-sin smut scenes I always expect from this author.

X Marks the Scot by DeanRH (15.9k) A fun little romp through history in one of this author’s great not-quite-au fics. Crowley sends Dean and Sam back in history to the Scottish Highlands to stop a monster, and while there they meet a blue-eyed clan chief who makes Dean weak in the knees. There’s something familiar about him, too. a very clever au that ties back to canon for an unexpected fix-it. Also, Cas in a kilt. Enough said.

The Hanging Gardens of Babylon by DeanRH (12k) - Sweet and slightly angsty AU. What if Dean was a gardener in ancient Babylon when a strange dignitary came to warn that the tower under construction was to be destroyed by angels? Lush, romantic and sexy with some wonderful tie-ins to canon characterizations (of Dean, Sam, John and of course Cas).

sufficient for thee by angelfishofthelord (21k) - This is a beautiful Cas angst-fest and character study that reimagines how angel grace works, particularly in regards to healing others. It covers the whole of Cas’s arc from Season 4 through a post-series fix-it, is absolutely stunning and features some great world-building in regards to the angels. (One important TW: those with cutting/self-harm issues may wish to skip or at least proceed with caution). I love that I can always count on angelfishofthelord when I need a good dose of Cas!whump and pain.

And laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself (13k) - another great Dadstiel fic from this author featuring one of my favorite angsty subjects! I don’t know how I missed reading this one before. An AU where Cas is raising (baby)Jack on his own until the angels find the two of them and prepare to seal Jack away in the Ma’lak box. Cas begs them to let him go with Jack, so at least Jack won’t be alone for eternity. Meanwhile Dean is frantically trying to find what happened to Cas, and he gets some unexpected help from Crowley. It’s sad and sweet and all the characterizations are great. A+ Crowley use here, too.

what stays (and what fades away) by dothraki_shieldmaiden (64k) - a fabulous read with some great art, too, that started me reading a bunch of fic from this author. Cas goes missing, and when he’s found he seems deep under a spell. When they finally manage to awaken him, he doesn’t remember anything of this life with Dean, Sam and Cas in the bunker. The last thing he knew he was a nurse living with his wonderful husband, Dean, and their two adopted children, Jack and Claire. What I loved about this one was the clever twist as to who was behind Cas’s curse and also how well-developed his AU world/existence was. I’m not generally keen on mundane aus or the one-dimensional way a lot of djinn dream fics tend to go for them, but this one managed to capture a believable version of Dean and Cas living a “normal” life without monsters without making it sugary/too-sweet.

before knowing remembers by dothraki_shieldmaiden (14k) Post 15x04, a wonderful fic that plays with some meta topics in a clever way. Dean and Sam are happy - they have free will and they’ve won against Chuck, even if they suffered some big losses along the way (including Jack). But Dean can’t help but think he’s forgetting something...or rather, someone. Yet every time he thinks he remembers, the name and face of that someone slips from his mind.

weights on my ankles by dothraki_shieldmaiden (9k) Post-15x03 where Cas ends up going back to the Gas ‘n Sip and working with Nora after leaving the bunker. A bitter sweet divorce-arc AU and what I love the most is how it ends - not perfect, not tragic, just very real and believable.

15x18 and Post-canon fix-it fics:

Orbital Velocity Around a Celestial Body by LeverDrift (26k) - An angsty but lovely fix-it fic, one where it gets worse for a while before it gets better. Dean pulls Cas from the Empty, where he’d been living in a fantasy world with a dream!Dean who was giving him everything real!Dean is certain he can’t. Dean has to struggle with wondering if Cas would have been better off with dream!Dean instead of him. This is one that will break your heart before putting it back together again as Dean struggles with his self-worth issues.

so good at crashing in by Wintertree (36k) - Another post-finale fix-it where Cas is back, the world is saved, and things are still...not as easy as it should be for either Dean nor Cas. Monsters are gone, there’s no more hunting to be done, and Cas wants to move out of the bunker somewhere closer to Claire, to move on with a proper human life. Dean thinks he can move there with Cas and stay as “best friends”, even to the extent that Cas encourages him to go out and have sex with others/women. (And wants to hear about it after the fact!) But can Dean figure out what he really wants, and what Cas wants as well? A refreshingly unique take on what a post-series life could have looked like for them.

Delicious smut:

Empty by squirrelofcelestialintent (43k) - Every day this fandom makes me rethink my previous squicks and DNWs in fanfic. Here I find myself enjoying quite a bit more dom/sub elements than I normally ever would! I think because I was absolutely drawn in by the breathtaking first chapter, capturing beautifully the emotions of Cas returning from the Empty in Season 13 if he and Dean had confessed their feelings right then and there. But Dean’s self-worth is all fucked up, he feels there’s no way he can be good enough for Cas, especially when his sexual desires run a little bit...let’s just say outside the vanilla and he’s struggling with shame over doing sex work when he was younger. This was HOT and POOR SAM really gets stuck in the middle of, well, hearing more about his brother’s sex life than he ever needed to.

He's My Mate by Hatsonhamburgers (22k) - This fic manages the delightful combination of humor and extreme hotness perfectly. Dean and Cas catch each other in some questionable masturbation situations. This leads Cas to decide he needs to buy Dean some proper sex toys. He’s just helping his best friend out, right? Sure. As I said, hysterical AND hot as hell.

Generals by nanoochka (9k) - Cas/Dean, Cas/Balthazar/Dean, implied past-Cas/Balthazar. An old LJ fic I found on an ancient rec list that is just scorching hot and a brilliant character study of Cas and Dean. Balthazar decides to invite himself in when he catches Dean and Cas engaging in some frisky business, and it turns into a bit of a power-play between the two soldiers of Heaven. Cas gets DP’ed and it’s all...well. It’s fucking good, read it.

The One With The Preening by HolyFuckingHell (5.5k) Can I do a rec post without including some wing!kink/wing!grooming in it? No, I can’t. (I also really enjoyed some of the other fics in this author’s series including The One With Dean's Horny Movies).

A Single Point of Light by Destina (2.4k) - This is a gorgeous Cas/Dean/Benny Purgatory short! A delicious balance of the two each caring for and caring about Dean in their own, protective ways, definitely a delight for any fans of this threesome.

Short and sweet, fluff to angst:

Snugglebird by almaasi (5.3k) - So, so soft and sweet and snuggly, just like the title. Dean’s things are disappearing from the bunker...and so, suddenly, has Cas. What’s going on? I do love my nesting!Cas fics, so...yeah. If you need a smile this is a good one to read :)

And Cleanse Me From My Sin by thisisapaige (1.6k) - another one for my beloveds who also enjoy wing grooming and sweet Dean-taking-care-of-Cas fluff.

Needle and Thread by Misachan (4k) - Season 5 wing!fic hurt/comfort. Cas’s wings are badly injured, Dean doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, but he’s stitched up Sam and himself enough times. He can do this. If you love caretaker!Dean and vulnerable!Cas don’t overlook this little gem.

Deceptive Preludes by sp8ce (2.7k) - One of those stories that delves into some of the difficulties Cas might have after coming back from the Empty a second time, especially in regards to accepting what’s real or not, understanding Dean, and how both of their communication issues can add to their struggles. Painful but hopeful for the future, felt very believable as I read it.

#my fic recs #destiel recs #my destiel recs #ok that's it for right now #should be plenty to keep y'all busy for a bit

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spencersstrawberryjello · 3 years

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Revelations (Spencer Reid x fem!MC)

Summary: SPOILERS FOR SEASON TWO As everything goes down with Tobias Hankel, Aria and the BAU have to find him before it’s too late. Once they do, Aria takes Spencer home and comforts him.

Content: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Descriptions of torture and violence (all related to Reid’s abduction in season two), swearing, kidnapping and emotional turmoil

MC’s name and pronouns: Aria (are-ee-ah) Glenn, she/her

Word Count: 5024 (it’s a long one folks so buckle up - it ended up being almost ten full pages lmao)

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“Hey,” I looked up from my phone to see Emily standing in the doorway. “Can I sit?”

I gestured to the space on the bed beside me, in the small house that made me nauseous. Thinking about the fact that the bed I was sitting on right now belonged to the man who had kidnapped Spencer made me want to both punch something and throw up. Emily came and sat beside me, turning to face me as I did the same. Her voice was soft when she spoke, studying my face.

“How are you doing?” She asked. It was a question she already knew the answer to, and I scoffed.

“We’re both profilers, Prentiss. You tell me; how do you think I’m doing?” I snapped. Immediately afterwards, guilt flared through my chest, and I sighed, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. It’s just - well, you know. I don’t think any of us are in a good state of mind right now.”

I dropped my gaze back to my hands, resting in my lap. She took them, directing my attention back to her as she spoke.

“Glenn. We all care about Reid, and we’re all doing everything we possibly can to get him back. But I know that your relationship with him is… different. You kind of disappeared earlier, I just wanted to check on you.”

“I just couldn’t watch that anymore,” My chest tightened just thinking about the sight of Spencer, tied to a chair, being forced to decide who lives and who dies. He looked so broken -

I forced myself away from that train of thought, taking my hands out of Emily’s to press them to my eyes in an attempt to ward away the tears I felt rising again.

I’ve cried so much in the past two days I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to again.

“I understand,” She moved my hands so I’d look into her eyes again. “I just wanted you to know we’re all here for you, ok? We’re all in this together, we’re all worried about him. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling.”

I nodded, and she pulled me into a tight hug, one I returned gratefully. The moment was interrupted by Derek flying into the room, with a statement that made my heart drop.

“The live feed is back on,” He announced, clearly intending for Emily and I to come with him. I knew that watching the videos was the best way for us to figure out where the hell this guy took Spencer, but the idea of seeing him in that cabin again made me want to throw up. I immediately started to shake my head, a childlike reflex to the statement.

“No. No, I can’t, I -” I wanted nothing more than to be curled up in his arms right now.

This all felt like one massive nightmare. I wished I could just wake up, scared before I realized he was safe in his apartment, laying in bed with me. I would turn over and press a quick kiss to his lips, not enough to wake him up but enough that I could appreciate his presence even more after imagining the worst possibility, before burying myself back in the warmth of his embrace…

“Aria. Hey,” Emily had her hand on my arm, pulling me out of my fantasy. My mind had started to take over, to take me into a daydream that was safer than the turmoil that had become our reality. “I know this is hard. But the more people we have working on this, the better the odds of us finding him are.”

“I hate to say it, but you guys need to hurry. We have no idea how long he’s going to be live.”

I felt like I was going to pass out when I stood up, making my way into the computer room that had become Garcia’s base for the past two days. My attention focused immediately on the screen displaying the live feed of Spencer. Emily was still standing next to me, and she reached out, giving my arm a quick squeeze to make sure I knew she was right there. I nodded my appreciation, but I couldn’t break my eyes away from the video.

He looked exhausted. Exhausted, and in pain, physically and mentally.

I didn’t know how much more of this he could handle.

“This ends now.” Charles Hankel’s voice was one I knew would be at the center of my nightmares for years to come; and if that was how I felt, I couldn’t imagine what Spencer was feeling right now. I didn’t think I wanted to. “Confess your sins.”

I dug my nails into my palms, trying to steady my breathing. I could tell Spencer was trying not to cry, and for a moment I thought Charles wasn’t going to do anything before he moved closer to the chair, punching him hard in the face. A sob escaped my lips, and I clamped my hand over my mouth, trying to silence myself as I watched him beat him, over and over, demanding he confess to the sins he hasn’t committed.

I looked around the room, and I knew we were all feeling a very similar set of emotions right now. It’s just a matter of what was the strongest. Garcia was trembling from her seat in front of the computers. Derek looked like he was going to genuinely kill somebody, and JJ looked like she was going to be sick. Hotch and Gideon were watching with nothing but fatherly worry, and even Emily looked like she couldn’t breathe.

“Tobias, help me,” His voice was so quiet we could hardly hear it through the camera speaker, Spencer begging for some kind of rescue. He was crying openly now, and I knew that I was silently doing the same as Charles hit him again before pushing the chair backwards, causing Spencer to fall to the ground.

At first I thought he’d passed out. But then I noticed him convulsing.

“Oh my god,” Garcia was the first one to say something, her voice breaking as we watched Spencer gasping for air, unable to do anything but observe from the other side of a screen, “He’s killing him.”

I felt myself starting to spiral again, unable to even speak, wanting so badly to leave but knowing I’d never forgive myself if I did. So I stood there and watched the man I love thrash on the ground while Charles Hankel just stood over him, watching him die without even blinking. It wasn’t until Spencer stopped moving that he spoke.

“That’s the devil vacating your body.”

Spencer wasn’t moving.

Spencer Reid was dead.

He was lying dead on the floor in a cabin in the middle of who-the-fuck knows where and there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him.

Suddenly I couldn’t breathe.

“No…” Was all I was able to say. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the image of Spencer’s body on the floor, still tied to that chair, abandoned as Charles Hankel left the room, leaving the camera still rolling. Gideon stormed out of the room - I thought I heard the bathroom door slam - and everyone immediately jumped into action, leaving Garcia and I alone staring at the unchanging computer screen.

“Come on baby, wake up. Please, for the love of god, please wake up.”

It felt like my mind was speedrunning the five stages of grief as I muttered under my breath, begging to a man who couldn’t even hear me. Who had no control over whether he lived or died.

Garcia hadn’t moved either, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she stared at the screen. I moved over to her, grabbing her hand in mine, both of us trying desperately to comfort each other after the scene we just witnessed, unable to process what happened enough to even speak. After a moment, Hotch came back into the room, opening his mouth to say something to Penelope when something finally changed on the video in front of us.

Charles Hankel had come back into the room.

Except it wasn’t Charles this time, it was Tobias, running over to Spencer’s body and immediately starting CPR in an attempt to save his life. Hotch called everyone back into the room, all of us gathered around the screen. After what felt like years, we heard it.

Spencer finally coughed.

He woke up, and I thought I was going to cry from relief. I might’ve actually been crying; honestly I’d spent most of the last two days in a constant state of either crying or about-to-be crying, so it wouldn’t have come as much surprise. Everyone let out varying gasps of relief before getting to work again, deducing that Hankel would have to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene to have killed those people and then uploaded the video in the time frame that he did. Hotch was about to leave before we noticed Hankel’s demeanor change yet again as he stood over Spencer, who was still stuck on the floor.

“You came back to life.”

“Raphael.”

“There can be only one of two reasons.”

“I was given CPR.”

“There are no accidents.”

Whatever momentary relief I got from seeing Spencer alive faded the moment Raphael began to ask questions.

Questions about us.

“He thinks it’s Revelation,” Hotch stated, concern filling his usually even tone. “The 7 Archangels versus the 7 Angels of Death.”

“Tell me who you serve.”

“I serve you.”

“Then choose one to die.”

My hand flew back up to my mouth as I processed the command, watching Spencer’s face crumble with the realization as well.

“Kill me.” The words made my heart break, and I found myself desperately fighting the edge of tears, yet again.

Damn, I really hated having emotions.

“Tell me who dies.”

“No.”

Raphael reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a revolver and pointing it straight at Spencer’s forehead. It was a game of Russian Roulette, and I genuinely thought I might puke from the omnipresent anxiety making my knees weak.

“I can’t -” I broke, turning away from the screen and into Derek’s arms as he pulled me into a hug. I hated not watching, but it was more than I could bear. It was all I could do just to listen as Spencer denied his request over and over again, each time the click of the trigger bringing him closer and closer to a bullet in the brain.

“I choose… Aaron Hotchner.”

The sentence made me snap my gaze back to the screen, not breaking the hug but watching attentively as Spencer quoted a Bible verse. Hotch, however, left the room as soon as Spencer had finished speaking, everyone trailing out into the main room after him.

“Hey, he’s alive. He’s alive,” Derek comforted me as everyone followed Hotch.

It’s truly a sign of how fucked up the situation is when the only comfort is that he hasn’t died yet.

Or at least, not permanently.

I nodded, and broke the hug, following after everyone who had already found Hotch again. He was holding a Bible, quickly explaining that Spencer misquoted the verse.

Misquoted the verse on purpose.

We’d found him.

We piled into the cars, my heart racing a mile a minute as we sped down the abandoned country roads, pulling up to an empty plantation, with nothing but trees in sight for miles aside from a small cabin and a cemetery surrounding it.

We checked the cabin first.

Clear.

It wasn’t until we started making our way across the grounds that we heard it.

A gunshot.

“Oh god please don’t let that have been for Reid,” JJ echoed exactly what the rest of us were thinking. We followed the sound, Hotch calling out his name as we ran towards it. Finally, we saw him, hunched over the dying body of Tobias Hankel.

Hotch took off in a sprint, approaching Spencer first, placing a gentle hand on his arm before Spencer pulled him into a tearful hug. He did the same to JJ, until I finally moved into view.

He looked like he’d been to hell and back. He could hardly support his own weight, he was sweating, bruised, and there was an open wound on his forehead. But I’d never been happier to see him.

I wasted no time pulling him into a hug, finally not trying to keep the tears at bay. For a moment, neither of us said anything, we just held each other, both of us crying in the cold night air.

“I thought I’d lost you,” I finally said, pulling back from the hug to look at his eyes. A small smile came over his face, and I’d never seen anything more beautiful. He was still crying, and I brought my hands up to cup his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He was very clearly out of it, and I guided him to put his arm around my shoulders, helping him walk back to the cars, whispering reassurances the entire way there.

“Wait!” He protested, “I have to do something first.”

He turned back towards Tobias’ body, and I let him go, giving him a moment to do whatever it was he needed as he limped over to the corpse. I turned back to the team, noticing Hotch looking at me with curiosity. Seeing as the only person who knows about Spencer and I’s relationship was Emily, it didn’t really come as a shock that I’d be getting strange looks. But honestly, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“He’s probably going to need to go to a hospital,” Hotch said. We nodded our agreement, knowing there was an ambulance waiting back at Tobias Hankel’s house.

Spencer rejoined the group, and I helped him the rest of the way back to the car. I wanted nothing more than to hold him in the backseat, but there wasn’t enough space and I didn’t want to draw more suspicion by asking JJ to move. So I climbed into the front seat next to Derek, who was driving. He shot me a look, and I just shrugged, not confirming or denying anything.

The drive back felt significantly shorter now that he was safe with us, and when we got back, we followed the ambulance to the hospital. Despite the fact that they definitely didn’t need an 8-person FBI escort to take Spencer into the hospital, Gideon didn’t even ask us whether or not we wanted to go. It was just assumed.

We’d gathered in the waiting room, everyone waiting to hear the extent of what that monster put him through. I was sitting in the chair closest to the hall, and immediately sprang to my feet when I saw the doctor round the corner.

“What all did he do to him?” I demanded.

“He had a pretty nasty gash on his forehead that we had to stitch up,” He started, “And his face is pretty bruised. Same with the bottom of his left foot. It’s a miracle it wasn’t broken.”

We nodded along to him speaking, and he paused for a second before revealing the worst detail.

“We also found a series of needle marks on his right arm. Traces of Dilaudid were still in his system.”

We’d assumed they’d drugged him - he wouldn’t have seized the way he did if they hadn’t, not to mention that JJ found records of Tobias Hankel’s addiction to narcotics - but hearing confirmation made my chest tight.

“What does that mean for him?” Hotch asked.

“Well, Dilaudid is addictive. It’s a narcotic painkiller; you’ll want to keep an eye on him in the next couple of weeks and note any strange behaviors you might see him exhibiting.”

We all nodded our understanding, and the doctor wrapped up what he was saying.

“Other than that, he just needs rest. We gave him water and something to eat, so honestly the best thing for him right now is to go home, get a shower and get some sleep. He might have some trouble putting a lot of weight on his right foot, but there’s not really anything we can do for that because it isn’t actually broken, just badly bruised. We’re going to send him home with crutches, but someone might want to stay with him for tonight, if one of you is comfortable with that.”

“I’ll stay with him,” I offered before anyone else could open their mouths. Emily’s eyes snapped to mine, and I cleared my throat, trying not to sound too eager, “If he’s ok with that, of course. I’ll have to ask him.”

The doctor just nodded. “Sounds good. Whoever is in charge here can see the front desk for further information.”

Gideon started towards the front desk, gesturing for Hotch to follow him as they went to talk to some people, leaving me standing in front of Garcia, Morgan, Prentiss, and JJ, all of whom were looking at me with varying looks of suspicion. Except Emily, who just looked vaguely amused.

“Anything you want to talk to us about, Glenn?” JJ asked.

“Nothing at all,” I denied, trying to fight the small smile on my face. I could tell just by looking at them that they all knew, at this point it was hard not to at least assume. Not to mention they were all experts in human behavior - let’s just say it was hard to hide things from them. But JJ just shook her head with a shallow laugh, returning to her seat. However, she quickly stood back up when Spencer came around the corner, supporting his weight with a pair of plain gray crutches.

“Spence,” She immediately crossed the room to him, looking him over with concern, “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” He offered her a small smile, but it wasn’t real. We all knew it, and she pulled

him into a hug, being careful not to make him fall.

“I should’ve never let you go off on your own. I’m so sorry -” She started to apologize, but he cut her off.

“JJ, stop. It’s not your fault; splitting up was my idea. No one had any way of knowing what was going to happen. I mean, there was a 50-50 shot that either of us could’ve run into him, we had no evidence he’d even left the barn at all.”

She let out a shaky breath, nodding. “I’m just glad you’re ok.”

“Me too.”

“We’re going to go back to the BAU so everyone can get their cars.”

He nodded his understanding, and he gave everyone a hug before Hotch and Gideon came back from the front desk. As much as he tried to appear normal, the events of the past two days hung heavy in the air. And we only knew what we saw on the videos, we had no idea the extent of what he’d gone through. I don’t know if we ever would.

Even just the fact that he was hugging people was a testament to the way he was feeling. He usually didn’t even like to shake hands, but he was clinging to our friends like they were the only thing keeping him grounded.

Hotch and Gideon rounded the corner, Hotch’s face softening the moment he saw Spencer, pulling him into another hug.

“Alright, let’s get back to the BAU so you can go home and get some rest,” Gideon said. Spencer nodded, all of us piling back into the two vans we’d taken to Tobias Hankel’s house. JJ shot me a look before climbing into the passenger seat, allowing me to take her place in the back with Spencer, sitting shoulder to shoulder in the car. Once we started driving, I turned and whispered to him.

“I wanted to come back home with you. Is that ok?” I asked. He gave me a small nod, and I smiled, giving his arm a squeeze. I desperately wanted to press a soft kiss to his lips, but I had already been way too physically affectionate with him today for us being at work.

We all went our separate ways, though it was clear that everyone was reluctant to let Spencer out of their sight again. I reminded them I’d be with him, and promised that I’d update them once he fell asleep so they knew everyone was ok. It might’ve been selfish of me, but I was excited to be alone with him. I just wanted to be able to comfort him without having to worry about if everyone thought we were dating.

To be fair, we technically weren’t dating. We’d never really defined the relationship.

We elected to take my car, since I was going to be driving. The more time we spent away from the group, the more I saw Spencer retreating. We walked to the car in silence, and he climbed in the passenger seat, zoning out staring through the windshield.

I reached over and gave his hand a light squeeze.

“I love you babe. Don’t know what I’d do without you,” I told him. He didn’t move his gaze, just squeezed my hand back in response before allowing me to return both hands to the wheel. We drove the rest of the way home with no sound but the radio turned down to a low volume. When I finally pulled into the parking lot for his apartment complex, he didn’t even blink. I turned the car off, going around to the other side to help him out of the car and into his apartment.

“Do you want me to get you something to eat? Or some water?” I offered as I unlocked the front door. He just shook his head.

“I just want to go to sleep.”

“You need to shower, Spencer.”

He nodded again, allowing me to lead him to the bathroom.

“Do you think you can stand? Or do you want me to draw you a bath?” I asked.

“Bath would be better,” He said, propping his crutches up against the sink. I knew he hadn’t broken his foot, but he still winced as he put more of his weight on it so that he could pull off his sweater and begin to unbutton the shirt he had on underneath it.

“You’re ok with me being in here?” I had assumed he would be, but I wanted to clarify as he finished unbuttoning his shirt, slipping it off. He just nodded, starting to undo his pants as I filled the bath with warm water. I shut the water off when it was filled enough that he could sit comfortably in it, and I held his arm, helping him sink into the warm water.

“Do you want my help babe?” I asked. He nodded again, still not speaking. I didn’t try to press him with any conversation, I just slipped out of my work clothes and slid into the bath next to him, grabbing the washcloth from the side of the bathtub and dipping it in the warm water, lathering up the soap and starting to gently wash along his shoulders, scrubbing away the dirt and grime. He winced when I got to his wrists, and I noticed that the skin was rubbed raw, red from where he’d been restrained. I drew in a shaky breath, unsure of whether or not I was going to cry or punch someone. Instead, I just planted a soft kiss on his lips before washing down the rest of his body.

I put the washcloth away and moved on to his hair, moving so that my chest was pressed to his back. I lathered the shampoo through his hair, and he sunk back against me, his eyes closing from the gentle touch.

“You’re safe with me, baby. I’ve got you,” I whispered reassurances in his ear, trying to help him relax as I finished cleaning him up. “How’s your head?”

My eyes had flashed up to the bandaged gash on his forehead, and I reached one hand up to gently brush his hair back away from it. He had opened his eyes now, just staring at the water, not really here. His voice was barely above a whisper, and it broke my heart.

“It hurts,” He murmured.

“I’m so sorry, Spencer,” I said, holding him closer to me as if it could somehow soothe his pain, both physically and mentally. “I am so, so sorry that this happened to you. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

“Didn’t I?”

The question took me by surprise, and I didn’t even have a chance to protest before he elaborated.

“I abandoned my mother. I could’ve helped her - I mean, I could’ve learned to help her. Instead I sent her away… he told me to confess my sins. And when I thought of my sins, all I could see was her face. I left her, Aria.”

“Spencer. Look at me.” I lightly put my hand under his chin, guiding him to meet my eyes. “Your mother needed help from a medical professional, someone who was specialized in understanding her condition. You didn’t abandon her - Spencer, you helped her. It’s not a sin to get someone the help that they need.”

“I know that. Logically, I know that. But…”

He trailed off, but he didn’t need to say anymore. I just nodded.

“I know, baby. But you didn’t deserve what Hankel did to you. You’re a good person, Spencer Reid. One of the best I know, and I’m not just saying that because I’m in love with you. You really are an incredible man, and,” I bit my lip, forcing back the tears that were stinging my eyes, “And you deserved so much better than this.”

He didn’t reply, he just leaned forward, kissing me again. It was harder this time, like he was putting all his feelings into moving his lips against mine. I kissed him back with just as much emotion, trying to tell him how much I loved him without saying anything at all.

“Thank you,” He whispered, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close to me for a moment.

“Spencer, you have no idea how grateful I am for you.”

“And I for you,” He replied semi-dramatically, making me grin and bringing a small smile to his face. It wasn’t much, but it was something positive.

“Alright Shakespeare, let me get dried off and then I’ll help you out,” I teased, grabbing my towel off the hook and drying my damp hair before wrapping it around myself and grabbing his hand, helping him up and guiding him to lean up against the sink while I grabbed his towel and offered it to him.

“I don’t even have the energy to correct the historical inaccuracy of your Shakespeare joke,” He said, drying himself off as I left the bathroom to grab pajamas from his dresser. I grabbed him one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants, and I grabbed myself one of his sweaters, slipping it on before going back into the bathroom and giving him the clothes I’d grabbed, hanging my towel back up as he changed.

When I turned back, he’d put on the pajamas, and was in the process of grabbing his crutches. With every move, his expression changed, betraying just how much pain he was in. I put my hand on his shoulder, supporting him as he made his way back out to his room, immediately sitting down on the bed and letting the crutches fall to the ground.

“Son of a bitch,” He muttered. I just sat down next to him, putting my arm around him so he could lean his head on my shoulder.

“Hey. You’re alright,” I held him close to me, rubbing his shoulder in a slight comfort.

“I’m tired,” He yawned, and I nodded.

He stretched out on the bed behind me, and I scooted over next to him, pulling the comforter over both of us.

“Can I hold you, baby?” I asked. He nodded, and I curled up against him, holding him tight to my chest. I tucked my head into the crook of his neck from behind, feeling his steady breathing against me.

It didn’t really surprise me when I felt his breathing pick up - I assumed his mind would probably wander once he had quiet time to think - but it made my heart wrench when I heard him crying softly.

“Spencer…” I pulled him closer to me, running one hand through his hair and placing soft kisses along his jawline, trailing down his neck. There was nothing sexual about it, simply gentle affection as he cried.

He rolled over suddenly so he was facing me, immediately crushing me in a tight hug, crying openly into my shoulder. I continued to run one of my hands through his hair, the other gently tracing slow circles on his back under his shirt, trying to ground him as he attempted to process everything he’d gone through.

“You’re safe with me baby. I’m never letting anything happen to you again, I promise.”

“You can’t make a promise like that,” He argued through his tears, “No one can make a promise like that. You know our line of work; there’s no way you can ensure my safety.”

“That’s true,” I conceded, “But as long as I have any say in it, I will protect you. And that’s a promise.”

His crying had quieted, and he sniffled, nodding into my shoulder. I kept him close to me, and eventually he drifted off to sleep, tears still staining his face.

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heyheydidjaknow · 3 years

Text

Okay, so the official update deadline for me is now every Sunday before I sleep. This is the second part. If the formatting is off, I apologize. Also, if you want to read the first bit, the link’s at the bottom. And the third one. I know there’s a way to make it so that touching on underlined text or something links you to the link, but I dunno how to do that.

Chapter 2

Surprisingly enough, the easiest one to convince of your legitimacy is Hamato Yoshi.

As soon as you walk into the lair, all you have to say to Ratman is that his daughter “was” named Miwa (obviously, dropping a bombshell like, “Your daughter is alive,” is somewhat bad form) and that he was going to give her a fan/knife thing, and he is convinced. Maybe it is to do with his natural compassion and/or naivety, but it allows you the option to sleep on the couch and not have to wander around to find exactly where the hell that address is.

You pull your knees to your chest as you stare blankly at the dead television screen, mind wandering as you listen to the accumulative sounds of the others. You are used to being awake at ungodly hours, of course, but typically they are spent alone; this is an uncommon occurrence. Now, anyways, you wish you had a way of contacting people. You already feel homesickness writhe around in your stomach, and your dread for what is going to happen next is outmatched by your gnawing curiosity regarding the fate of your family in the fire. Of course, you know their chances for survival was close to none, but—

“Y/N?”

You almost jump out of your skin, having not noticed the sinking of the couch next to you. You look over at the speaker, relaxing slightly. You put your hand on your chest. “Sorry,” you breath to Donatello as you try to calm your beating heart. “I uh, kinda zoned out.”

“It’s alright.” His posture is awfully stiff. “I just figured—ya know, since we’re going to be interacting more—we should uh, get to know each other a bit.”

You nod as you stretch your legs back out. “Sounds like a plan.” You turn your body to face him, shaking a little from the start but getting over it relatively quickly. “Oh, by the by, you’re the one that can kill me with your bare hands. You can and should relax.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Was it that obvious?”

“A little,” you shrug. “But, in your defense,” you smile playfully, “if some random bitch walked up to me and started telling me every detail of my past, I’d be hesitant to get too friendly too.”

“Oh, it’s not that!” He put his hands up, talking oddly quickly. “It’s just that you’re the first human I’ve ever met, and really the only person I’ve ever really talked to that isn’t one of my brothers or Splinter—”

A memory slaps you across the face. “Oh! Right!” You grab his hands, making sure his full attention was on you. “I gotta tell you something really important.”

He went red. “W-what?”

“I don’t think it’s wise to tell you outright exactly what’s going to happen,” you start, impulsively running your thumb over one of his knuckles, “but if you run into a triceratops man, or if you hear about a triceratops man, you have to kill him immediately.”

“I- huh?”

“Three or so episodes before the season three finale,” you repeat, “you or someone else is going to run into a triceratops man, who you have to kill. If you let him live, the world as you know it will be destroyed and sucked into a black hole.”

“Black hole?” He blinks. “So, in a few months, we—what?”

“Well, they call it a black hole, anyways.” You roll your eyes. “It’s pretty weak sauce for a black hole. I’d hasten to call it more than a portal, but, I guess, technically, it’s a black hole.”

“You seem to know quite a bit about this sort of thing.” He smiles awkwardly. “You know, for someone who just kinda popped out of the blue.”

“Well, yeah.” You smile back. “People like you inspire me to learn more about how the world around me works.”

His pupils dilate, and he breaks eye contact. “Wait, but you said that we had at least until the season five finale, right?” You feel his thumb wrap around yours slightly. “If that’s the case, how can a black hole destroy our world? We’d die with it, wouldn’t we?”

“See, you would think that.” You shrug, letting his hands fall between you two. “But the show is already playing fast and loose with science in general, so.”

“I am legitimately so confused right now.”

You sigh, patting him on the shoulder. “Me too, buddy.”

“I just—“

“Honey.” You stifle a giggle. “No combination of words will make any of this make any more sense than it already does.”

“I know, but—“

“Listen, if you ask me any more questions, we’ll start having to deal with more time travel bullshit then we’ll already have to.”

He sighs. “Okay, I’m dropping it.”

You nod, already feeling the sting of guilt. “But, hey,” you nudge with your shoulder teasingly, “if it makes you feel any better, you definitely got the most sugar than your brothers.”

He blinks. “What does that have anything to do with that?”

“Compensation? I dunno.” You pull your legs under you. “Just trying to make up for the fact that it’s really not a good idea for me to give out too much info about an uncertain future.”

There is an awkward pause.

“So,” Donatello asks gently, “if you don’t mind me asking, you said you died, right?”

You nod.

“So, uh, how did you…?”

“House fire.”

He blinks. “You… you remember—?”

“Yup.” You chuckle tightly. “Every excruciating detail.”

He tenses slightly. “I’m sorry.”

You sigh. “Don’t be. Not your fault.” ‘My fault, actually.’

He rests his head on his hand. After a pause, “Do you know, then?”

“Know what?”

“You know, what happens after.”

You shake your head. “I blacked out and now I’m here. I’m guessing you don’t run into a ton of people like me.”

He cracks a smile. “I don’t really run into a ton of people period.”

You try to help lighten this stifling mod you have created. “Well, I’m glad your first introduction to humanity proper is through some psycho pseudo-Cassandra.”

“Less Cassandra and more just general prophet.” He grins. “If Raph believes you enough to go off the handle—well, I guess that’s just Raph in general.”

You chuckle. “Hey,” you whine teasingly, “lay off your brother. Obviously he’s a very levelheaded man.”

“Totally.” He rolls his eyes good naturedly. “Cool as a cucumber, that guy.”

“Speaking of, where is everyone?” You look around the noticeably empty living room.

“Sleeping, probably. I tend to stay up later than they do.”

“And why’s that, Bill Nye?”

He shrugs. “It’s easier to work when people aren’t asking for help with things.”

“That is very fair.” You close your eyes as you lean against the back of the couch. “I must say, I’m not envious of your position.”

You hear him shift closer. “Why’s that?”

“If you don’t already, you’re probably—at least, from what I’ve seen,” you clarify. “Well, it seems like, sometimes, you have the world on your shoulders. It can’t be a good feeling.”

A pause. “I guess you could say that, yeah.”

You stretch upwards. “But” you continue, moaning softly as you feel your muscles crack, “if it makes you feel any better, I have—or at least had— access to the internet. I will gladly explain google.”

He clears his throat. “The internet search engine or the number?”

You grin. “Either or, although I would most certainly lose track if my zeros halfway through at best.”

He laughs. “It took me so long to figure out how to say it,” he sighs, “The trick is to just say zero for a long time and eventually just kinda zone out. You can really just stop after fifty and people won’t notice.”

“See,” you open your eyes, wrapping an arm around his shoulder—he certainly stiffened up quick— “that is why I like you, Donnie. You always know the score.”

He relaxes quickly. His speech is slurred a little. “You like me?”

“Hell yeah I do!” Your voice is noticeably lighter than it was before, more relaxed. “You are totally awesome, if you’ll pardon my candor.”

“N-not at all!” He smiled bashfully. “I’m flattered, really. I just—I’m surprised is all. I didn’t think you’d—uh—_like_ someone like me.”

“What? Why?” You are, apparently, extremely dense. “You’re the coolest guy ever!”

“Well, I’m not really a guy.”

“Wait, is this the whole turtle thing again?” You roll your eyes, leaning into him as you close them. “Dude, legitimately? I don’t care.”

His voice softened. “You what?”

“I don’t care. You’re smart, reliable, funny… I mean, what isn’t there to appreciate?” ‘I didn’t expect him to feel warm.’ “If I’m being honest,” you shrug in an attempt to stay casual, “and, if you promise not to give me shit—”

“I won’t,” he promises, almost eagerly.

You smile. “I will admit that I had a thing for you, along with many other people where I’m from. Fictional crush, you know.”

“You’re joking,” he challenges.

“Scout’s honor.” You raise your right hand, already starting to zone out. ‘Really warm…’

“You’re serious?”

You hum in confirmation. “I don’t…” You yawn, the weight of the incredible stress admittedly starting to take its toll. “I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable after what I just said,” you mumble, curling into him, admittedly not in your right mind, “but do you mind staying here until I fall asleep? Sup… surprisingly enough, you are ridiculously warm and comfortable and warm.”

He tenses up a little, but slowly wraps an arm around your shoulder. “Yeah. I’ve got nothing better to do.” His voice is gentle, soft.

“I owe you cupcakes.” You nod off.

You could tell you boosted his confidence if only a little bit. He stood taller the next night; admittedly, you feel a sense of pride at his pride. At least, it makes up for the verbal abuse from his brothers when they find you asleep together.

As you walk down the street that next night with Donnie shadowing you, you consider the pros and cons of revealing more about what you know; although there were certainly more items for pro, the chaos theory was sort of a big deal, and, knowing the reputation of this franchise and its post-apocalyptic bullshit, the last thing you need is to tempt fate. Still, something about this felt wrong, like not telling someone to get out of the way of a moving car. ‘Wish I were Cassandra,’ you think bitterly. ‘At least I wouldn’t feel bad.’

You stop in front of the offending building. ‘Finally.’ You look around for your chaperone and, after not seeing him— ‘Fucking ninjas, man.’—sigh and give in. “Good night,” you said to the open air.

You look back at the door, startled to see someone looking back at you. ‘You are fucking with me right now.’ You wave awkwardly as the man holds the door open for you. You step inside the building, making a beeline for the elevator. ‘A doorman? Really?’ The lobby was entirely too hotelish for your liking, the warm lighting bouncing off the smooth tile cleanly. ‘How much is this place, anyways? It’s fucking New York.’ You press one of the buttons. ‘If I’m the one paying rent, I am royally fucked.’

Somehow, via some sort of divine intervention, you find the apartment. You take the key out of your pocket— ‘Note to self: scavenge up enough money for a keychain.’—and stepped inside.

The apartment made you do a double take. It is so… familiar. Nicer than usual, more polished, yet somehow exactly how you’ would have used the space. The floors are hardwood, the walls painted a relatively neutral color that is easy on the eyes. As soon as you enter, you see the kitchen to your left; small, but considering it is only you, it would be perfect. To your left, down a short hall, is a bathroom—bright white surfaces with black countertops. And in the only other room in the apartment, in front of you, is a bed, a couch, some chairs, a table, a chest of drawers, a closet, a television, and a coffee table with a phone and an envelope on it.

You walk over to a large window overlooking the street, shutting it and sitting down on the couch. You pick up the letter first, carefully breaking its seal and pulling out a note and a card. Your heart leaps as you see your name in white lettering. ‘Well, having a credit card doesn’t sound too bad.’ You place it back onto the table as you start reading.

“Dear Y/N L/N:

We understand that the transition between your previous life and this one may be difficult, and we at The TIS are more than happy to provide for you and your needs during this transition period. Your questions are likely numerous. That is the purpose of this document, to address any concerns you may have.

Finances/Personal Belongings: The most noted concern of those just beginning in our program is to do with housing. We understand that it is incredibly important to the mental health of our members to have relatively stable housing, especially considering the strange, new environment they have been thrown into. Your residence is paid for by the TIS. All necessary emergency services (repair costs of any sort, medical bills, phone bills, etc.) and any utilities that may be included in said residence are also covered by this plan. In addition, your TIS assigned debit card will receive a daily balance of $300 (balance will change with inflation), which can be used at your discretion. Your residence has been pre-furnished to what our experts believe to be your taste, and your refrigerator and cupboards are filled with a variety of raw food items. Silverware, crockery and cookware has also been included. You have also been provided with various detergents and whatever hygiene products you used before your transition. These things will be replenished biweekly unless, for whatever reason, you start using different food/hygiene products. In this event, your inventory will be adjusted accordingly.

You are currently in position of one (1) weeks’ worth of clothing, including any undergarments applicable, which includes 7 pairs of pants and 7 shirts taken from your wardrobe, along with any clothing you are currently wearing.

Cell Phone: Your TIS assigned cell phone is, practically speaking, identical to your previous device. Any streaming services you were previously subscribed to, along with any you may decide to subscribe to, are covered by the TIS. Your login information is included with your banking/personal information, all of which is included in this envelope. If you wish to upgrade your phone as the years go by, or if you wish to purchase a second device, these log ins will still be available to you, although you will be required to purchase any additional software/electronics through our website: www.TISShop.org/FU. A charging cord and block are located by your bed. We recommend purchasing a case for your device.

Please note that all websites/services/apps previously available to you are also available via TIS approved electronic devices.

Employment: Employment has not been taken the TIS. We do not offer employment, although minors have been provided with a permit in the event that you chose to enter the workforce. If you choose to enter the workforce, aid will continue to be provided.

Enrollment: All minors are required by the TIS to enroll in their local school. Any documents required are provided in this envelope. If you are currently attending a college/university, or are thinking of enrolling/reenrolling, any credits you have accumulated will be transferred to whatever college/university you choose to attend. If you are currently a minor considering attending college, your funds will be provided by the TIS if applicable.

Identification: Any websites/services/products that are age restricted will be available to you, regardless of age.

Death: We at the TIS assure you that unnatural death, in your current situation, is not a matter that you need concern yourself with. While it is certainly possible to die, it is extremely unlikely, and we have the policy in place in the event of your death.

We at the TIS are aware of your awareness of the place you are now in. We wish to stress the importance consuming any media associated with the world in which you find yourself. If you gain nothing from this letter, please remember that we at the TIS are here for you, if only indirectly.

We wish you luck.”

The letter ends there. You check the envelope to see the other documents listed.

You stand up, picking up your new phone and laying down on the bed. You are left reeling from the little information you have been given. ‘So I was brought here. Well,’ you sigh, closing your eyes, ‘I guess I already knew that, but…’

You start scrolling through your device. Everything is still there, except for your contacts. You try to call what numbers you had memorized; they are apparently invalid.

You curl into a fetal position, clutching onto your jacket. “Well,” you mumble to yourself almost bitterly, “at least I know I won’t starve to death.” You decide against even turning the lights off as you hug yourself tightly. “This,” you decide, “is going to majorly suck.”

You nod off, already dreaming of smoke.

Table Of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

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globophobicligyrophobiccontent · 3 years

Text

MLP Eg Fanfiction: We can still party

By: Sannaturek at AO3

April is almost near again.

Wow, he really can't believe another full year of life is here again. And within weeks from his birthday, Snail can't avoid feeling happy, and scared...

As normal, a certain happy pink girl wants to throw Snails a birthday party at the park near Canterlot High. She usually does this for everyone, every year.

Usually this wouldn't be a problem, who wouldn't enjoy a good birtyday with friends, food, color and music? Snails didn't.

The social pressure for that day was big for him, since Snails wasn't exactly a fan of attention. Also, BALLOONS.

This was something he didn't tell anyone, even his best friend, Snips. But, balloons? Why would someone ever be scared of balloons? I tell you why, from Snails perspective, those weren't the nice party decorations and toy that everybody see. Oh no, balloons are something straight up from hell, noisy, squeaky and even worse, explosive demons.

The mere presence of balloons at his visual range put him in alert mode, waiting there and never knowing when those demons in disguise will pop loudly and unexpectedly. He just couldn't handle the noise and surprise.

Someone like him, who a time ago worked for someone as important as Sunset Shimmer, couldn't get the privilege of being scared of something as pitiful as a balloon. Also, the fact of being scared of it was not meaningful enough. Snails think you would (and should) laugh at him for that, that it's ok if you do. So he just pretend everyone is ok, every time, every year.

And with some like Pinkie Pie at you school, evade them isn't as easy as pie as can be sometimes.

He himself sometimes fell like the pressure it's at it's limits and wants to tell someone, but he's not in the mood for people to laugh at his fear, and with something as silly as a balloon. Years lf pressure just accumulated inside him.

Maybe someday, someone will know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

*After school, in the corridors*

*Snips: Hey dude, that important day is coming sooooon! How do you feel about it? I'm already looking for another perfect gift this year.

-Snails: Hey, you are right, thanks for that! But, well, fine I guess...

*S: Hey my guy, are you ok now? Every year since I knew you it's the same with you and feeling down. It's the seasonal flu taking you down this days?

-S: No! Of course no, I'm not, I'm completely fine! Whatdoyoumean?

*S: We should talk to Pinkie so she gets time to get everything ready and starts party planning. Where do you feel like doing your birthday this time? Last year near the lake was amazing! And now the field at the park near the school it's pretty and it's big, so we can get good places, but Pinkie should know better and(...)

As soon as Snails heard 'Pinkie' and 'Party Planing' his mind got down the clouds and reacts clear and loud (With a nervous touch on his voice)

-S: No! I mean, n-no, I thinks it's kinda early to get ready, and I want something small this year. I know Pinkie isn't that kind of p-party planner but we- I! I can make it work...

*S: Ok, if you feel like that... Heeey... Your voice is weird, are you stuttering? It's everything ok up there? *Snips says and point to Snails head*

-S: Y-yes! Everything is fine all right! *He says while walking slower and straighting up his gaze*.

*S: Dude, friend, guy, Snails, I know I usually not the type of person to tell you this, but if you feel bad inside, don't doubt to tell me, I'm your best friend, the cream to your berry, the flesh of your nail, the, the, well you know. The point is that we are friends since like, forever! There's nothing I can't do for you and I'll be there when something is wrong.

For a moment as he heard this words, Snails felt a little relief in his body, now moving a little faster, enough to catch up Snips.

-S: Thanks Snips, actually I really needed to hear that...

*S: It's nothing... Heeeeey why frown faces? Wanna go eat something now? I heard of a new sandwich place near here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snails didn't even noticed how 2 weeks flew by, and he was a day away from his birthday. The only important things about his birthday that he remembered from it('Cause he most part of the time, the anxiety of thinking about his party, people and the balloons made him dissociate) was thas Pinkie asking him for cake flavors (He answer dark chocolate and strawberries), a theme for the party(As normal, Spring Days) and the decorations(This wasn't a lot in discussion since we know the Pinkie Style, but she just wants to be sure the day is perfect for everyone).

Snails didn't told anyone about the balloons yet, since just thinking about it makes him dizzy. But when he got out of his classroom during lunch, he saw Pinkie carrying balloons to an all purpose classroom that wasn't being used. He got light headed just from seeing that, knowing what's coming tomorrow. So he and Snips ended up eating too little near the windows, in a table that nobody usually uses because it's far from the other table's at the cafeteria.

Snips knew now that something it's not ok now, because Snails only ask to eat in that table just when he feels bad or sick in some way and want to get away from people. Snips didn't want to bother Snails since felt that he already was having a hard time, so he didn't say anything during lunch.

At the end of the classes, Snail saw Pinkie Pie near the auditorium with her friends, she was waving very fast at him, clearly saying hi and wanting him to notice. He nervously waved and said hi, then rapidly proceed to go away, almost running to the entrance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, as every night before, Snails dreamed about how he was bullied in his old school. Classmates popping balloons usually to scare him, leaving him behind, and no adult doing anything to stop it. Even Snips was there, just saying how lame he was.

In that moment, his phone sounds an alarm and wakes him up. Clearing out his eyes and drinking a glass of water, he saw the calendar, April 12, his birthday. Ok, he clears his mind for today. His parents made him breakfast, and give him a gift, the jacket that he wanted! Amazing!

The day at school goes as every year, everyone saying happy birthday, some people and even teachers giving little gifts, and even his classroom was decorated with green streamers, his favorite color. For now he didn't saw any balloons, so he was pretty calm.

As usual, at lunch, Pinkie Pie get up and says:

-P: HEY EVERYBODY, LET'S SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A VERY SPECIAL PERSON TODAY! AND WISH OUR FRIEND SNAILS A VERY HAPPY DAY!

Everyone sings happy and Snails it's just flustered from all the attention, even a little tired, but he knows the intentions are the best, so he puts on his best happy face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At the end of the classes, as usual in a birthday, Pinkie goes to talk to Snail.

-P: Hey birthday boooy! How was everything going?! I hope great because now it's just time to get better!

As he laughed, he noticed Snips wasn't with them anymore, and before hes can ask something, Pinkie blindfolds him, leading them to as he can feel, grassy, windy terrain. When Pinkie stops and get the green fabric out of his eyes, he sees 'a lot' of people (for him everything it's a lot so don't take his opinion in count)

-¡SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SNAILS! WOHOO! YAAY WOOO!

A desolate part of the park was nicely decorated he saw a lot of friends and classmates that Pinkie probably just invited, Snips was there, with a big box that looks like a gift, there was foods, drinks, a table full of gifts, another with activities to play, and BALLOONS, there weren't a lot, but yes a considerably big number, nothing that he could handle, or that's what he thought....

The party went as usual, just inner interruptions for Snails everytime a balloon popped, because someone accidentally popped it, or the wind put it in a spiky zone. He had to downplayed it saying he had hiccups or something similar. The food and drinks were delicious as always, the gifts were amazing, and even the games were fun, the cake was so tasty, the people invited was giving him proper personal space. It was actually a pretty nice afternoon for Snails.

It was almost time to go.

For a moment, he noticed Pinkie Pie disappeared, making him a little anxious. But when she came back, a chill ran down his spine. Pinkie Pie brought a bag full of inflated balloons, and began to distribute them to everyone there. Snails, reluctantly, picked one of the balloon Pinkie gave him. Faking the best smile he could at this point, he looked at Snips trying to say help me out with his eyes, but Snips was too excited for the games to understand undertones. He was hyperventilating and sweating like crazy at this point, but nobody noticed with all the voices talking and sounds of the exterior. He felt like crying, but he wasn't going to demonstrate weakness in front of his best friends, and not in his birthday, not for some stupid balloons.

-P: Ok everybody, last new game here! I gave everyone of you a balloon! Inside every balloons there's tiny paper with a number! When I say go, you can pop your balloons and check wich numbers you get! Then before you leave, look at the table over there and check with prize you got! I hope you have fun with this one!

Now making weird faces of disgustand fear, and with his legs shaking, Snails took some steps back before everything started. Snips noticed it and tried to follow him, but at the moment he moved, Pinkie gave the signal:

-P: OK EVERYONE! START! YOU CAN POP THE BALLOONS!

*POP*pop*Pop* *poP*pop*Pop*

Balloon after balloons popping. This never happened to, this new game was like a torture, why? This was never necessary, why now? Why at HIS party? He remembered his old school, the inferno was here again. It was too much for Snail to take. The people, the sudden noise, the commotion. His heart was almost running away, the pops keep going as some people struggles. Snails starts to hyperventilate, sweaty, and feels dizzy again, but a different type of dizzy.

*S: Snails? Everything fine? Hey are you ok? You are not popping your balloon *Pop* (Snips pop his balloons)

Snails can't do it anymore, his eyes got black, he felt light, he was falling, the last thing he hears it's Pinkie calling his name.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Snails wakes up again, he's sitting in a chair, and Twilight it's checking he's not hurt or anything bad. As she inspects, Snails and Pinkie are by his side, everyone is gone already. "Oh yeah, the party was almost over", it's the thing he first remember.

-Twi: It's ok guys, he's completely fine. I'm pretty sure this was just a panic attack, nothing else, but I will stay a little more just in case. Just talk a little down until he gets better, can you try, Pikie?

-P: Heeeey buddy, it's everything ok? You got me really scared right there...

*S: Snails! You're ok again(!) What was that? Do you feel fine? You scared us everyone there.

-S: Y~yeah, I'm fine, I don't know what happened...

While inspecting the surroundings with the eyes, he notices the green balloon Pinkie gave him in the game, at the table with his gifts, looking a little more and, he noticed there were some balloons attached to his chair. At the mere sight of this, Snails gets another shiver, and gets a gulp of saliva. Even when he tries to fake it, Twilight noticed it.

-Twi: I think I have and theory, but I think it's better that Snails tells you...

As Twilight says that, the three of them look at Snails. We sll think it's time for the revelation, he thinks.

-S: I-I really feel ashamed to say this, and even worse now that I ruined my party...

-P: No no no, don't say that, anything was ruined, the party was ending anyways, but if you feel like theres something to tell us, it's up to you buddy. I just want to evade you from hurting again. But if you don't wanna tell us it's completely fine and valid...

*S: Snails, remember what I told you two weeks ago, I'm your best friend, and I'll do anything for you, you can tell me everything and if you feel like having a secret, it's ok! But remember, me and Pinkie will do anything to make sure you are having a great time... We will listen...

-S: Ok, I guess this is for the best of everyone. Even when it sounds ridiculous, I hope this helps... I'm, kinda, well, mot kinda, very very scared, afraid of .... balloons...

Pinkie and Snips look at each other for a moment, then look at the chair, and the at Twilight, and when the two understand, said "Oooooooh" at unison. After that they let Snails talk again.

-S: It's just, I don't like the noise that they make when they pop, it's loud and unexpected. And I don't like that kind of stuff, makes me feel very nervous. Even when I'm looking at them I'm scared because you never know when a balloon can pop, and, and... Ok I think I talked enough, if you feel like laughing it's ok and I understand it, even I would laugh of myself... I feel so stupid and ashamed for this, I'm sorry I should...

Pinkie gives Snails a second to let his tears flow, she can see how Snails was keeping this up for himself for a long time, he didn't hsve anyone to vent his feelings. Snips gives Snails a paper napkin to clean the tears. When he calms down, the friends talk again.

-P: So, that's it? You are scared of balloons? I know you might find this weird coming from me, but it's completely fine! Your feeling are completely normal little dude! You don't have to be ashamed of everything, it's completely ok to have fears, even when we thought they're ridiculous. You should have told me before! Ooh geez I'm the one that should be apologizing! I'm the one who always plans this parties! I'm so sorry I didn't know! An I didn't take you in count. I'm sorry Snails! Accept my apologies, no more balloons in the parties I know you will be! Oh and I'm sorry for the "special" chair...

-S: You don't have anything to apologize for, Pinkie, you didn't know a I didn't told you, I'm the one who's sorry. And thanks for your statement, it make me feel more comfortable now.

*S: And with me, you think that I would make fun of you because of that? I'm your friend, I'm gonna understand you and be with you at the best and the worst, I'm not making fun of you for anything, it's ok to have fears. To make you feel better, I also have some silly fears, like high places or bears! You see, we can trust each other as always!

-S: Well, I guess we can do it, thanks for sharing that with me.

As they were talking, Twilight step into the conversation.

-Twi: I know it's very soon, but when you feel confident enough, you can let me know so I can put a little bit of my knowledge at work. You can let me know your feelings, and if you feel like it, a step by step exposure therapy. It may not cure you, but I can assure you that you'll not faint in another event. Like a little counselor program.

-S: Yeah, that sounds great, thanks, thanks to everyone for help me out. But, can we keep this a secret for now? I'm still not comfortable with people knowing this..

"Of course, yeah!" The three says.

After that, they help Snails with his gifts and Snips goes with him to assure he gets home safely.

Snails sleeps that night with much less nightmared he usually have this day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3 months later, in one of the celebrations of Canterlot High, theres balloons almost everywhere, classrooms, corridors, cafeteria, etc. And it's almost time for lunch.

*S: Aaand, usually I don't ask this, but, how's everything going with Twilight? It's working?

-S: Yes, I'm feeling a lot better now, and we are making progress and-

*pop* (He hears a balloon popping near, but start shaking again)

*S: It's ok dude, you got this, you got us.

-S: Thanks Snips.

#afraid of balloons #balloons #fear of balloons #globophobia #ligyrophobia #mlp eqg #mlpegfanfic #mlp fanfic #mlp equestria girls #first fanfic #my little pony #equestria girls #MLP snail #mlp snips #snips and snails

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staywritten · 4 years

Text

All In│Bang Chan «Chapter Twenty»

Synopsis: After a messy break up your sophomore year, you decided that the best thing for you was to finish off your college career single. You wanted to focus on yourself, grow as a person and finish off your degree strong. There’d be plenty of time for love after college. But after losing your camera you become friends with the seemingly perfect boy that threatens to ruin your plans.

Genre: SocialMedia!AU, College!AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

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Admittedly you’d drank far too much, trying to forget all about the wasted last month with Chan. By the time you came to terms with your feelings and unmuted him, seeing his instagram and snapchat filled with photos of Rosie hurt your pride. It's like it affirmed what you already knew. You got your shit together long enough to finish your term papers, but eventually you succumbed to Momo’s idea to go to a party.

You were starting to regret coming to this house party with Hyunjin and Momo, especially since you excused yourself to use the restroom and couldn’t find them again. The party was too dark, too stuffy, too loud and too crowded. And honestly you were just missing your bed. You looked at your phone, stumbling around trying to find a signal to call Hyunjin and let him know you wanted to go home. You braced yourself against the wall as you made it outside for some fresh air.

The cold air hit your skin, causing a shiver to run through you. You were just a pile of regret. You regretted these shoes, you regretted this tight dress, and you regret drinking as much as you did. You frowned looking down at your phone trying to use what little bit of battery you had to text Momo that you were in the backyard. There was still a bunch of people outside but at least it wasn’t as stuffy.

“Long time no see Babe” A voice called out to you that instantly made your skin crawl. Yugyeom smiled leaning against the wall in front of you. “You come here alone? You look so good, nice dress”

“Fuck off” you sighed turning to walk away, stumbling after a step.

“Woah, careful now.” he caught you by your forearm, bracing you and stopping you from falling. “You never could handle your alcohol.” He chuckled “Where’s your little lap dog Hyunjin? He finally get sick of your temper tantrums?”

“Let me go” you pulled your arm trying to shake his grip, to no avail.

“I heard you and Perfect little Captain Chan broke up.”

“Yugyeom, what do you want?” you sighed, tired of trying to pull your arm from his vice grip.

“Aw come on, I know you’re mad at me, but we’re both single now. That’s all that matters.” He leaned in closer to you, backing you into the wall. “We had fun together right?”

You scoffed “Fun? You mean when you cheated on me?”

“It’s so cute, you still think I cheated on you huh?” his eyes darkening as he took you in.

“What the fuck does that mean? And can you let go?” you groaned, your head was spinning, your arm hurt, and on top of it you just felt so weak. You didn’t want to have this conversation now. “What else do you call sleeping with Mina?” You pushed his chest away from you with all your might but he still held your arm. “Yugyeom fuck! Let me go it hurts!”

“Don’t be so dramatic, you were always so good at being dramatic.” he smirked. “Among other things” his eyes raked over your body. “Besides… Mina was my girlfriend. I didn’t cheat on you, I cheated on her. You were the side. I never considered you my girlfriend, you were just a really clingy fling.” You stopped struggling and just stared at him in disbelief. He sneered “How could I say no to you? Huh? You were always so well behaved. You never nagged me like Mina, you were fun” He grinned tugging you a little closer by your arm, whispering into your ear. “You were such a good girl for me”

“You’re hurting me…” you cried, pleading with him.

“Get your hands off of her!” Chan pulled Yugyeom away from you. His eyes filled with rage “Have you lost your mind?!” Changbin stood between the two of them stopping Chan from swinging.

Yugyeom raised his hands up, in surrender. “I didn’t do anything, she had a little too much to drink and could barely walk. I was just helping out” He scoffed. “You’ve gotten good at playing victim” he pointed at you and winked “Anyways call me when you finally come around” he walked away disappearing into the crowd.

Your eyes filled with tears as Yugyeom’s words finally hit you. The stinging from your arm failing in comparison to the one in your heart. You cradled your arm and finally broke down.

“Are you ok?” Chan moved to your side, looking you over “Does it hurt?” his fingers grazed your arm and you snapped out of your daze. Your arm, far too sensitive to the touch.

“Don’t touch me” you sobbed into your hands. “You’re both the same…” you whispered more to yourself. “I’m always just a fling…”

“Hey… Hey that’s not true you know I don’t think that...I love-”

“Don’t.” you warned him. “You’re not allowed to say that to me”

“There you are” Momo sighed in relief running over to you and pulled you into a hug. “Felix came and found me” She looked you over “Honey...what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she wiped away your tears before shooting a glare to Chan “What did you do to her!?”

“I broke her heart...” he said honestly, shoulders slumping.

“It wasn’t him… It was Yugyeom…” you mumbled.

“That bastard is here?!” she looked around, glaring.

“Momo...I just wanna go home…” She nodded, walking you back into the house.

Chan watched as you disappeared into the house, crying into Momo’s shoulder. It killed him seeing you so broken and there was nothing he could do to help, worst off that he was partially the cause of it. He waited a moment before trying to follow you out but Changbin grabbed his arm and shook his head. “Leave her alone tonight. Check in with Hyunjin in a little if you gotta but you can’t corner her”

He sighed, shrugging him off before deciding to get another drink instead. He didn’t even want to be at the party, but the swim season was over. His boys played hard and they won. He’d done his job as a captain and they were out celebrating. For his team he stayed, nursing a beer as he looked out at the party.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about you and how utterly broken you looked.

He lost track of time just thinking about you. How you were the first voice he’d hear when he woke up and the last voice he heard when he went to bed. How you would always hold his hand, or how shy you got when you called him Chris.

Your laugh, your smile. Everything.

“Captain Chan to the rescue~” Yugyeom slurred standing beside him, noticeably a lot drunker since the last time he’d seen him. “Did you save the damsel that wanted nothing to do with you?” he leaned on the bar top. Yugyeom glared watching Chan ignore him. “She’s a tease isn’t she? Acts like she wants it, seduces you and then gets mad that you have a girlfriend”

“Shut the hell up. I’m not like you”

“But aren’t you? I heard you had a pretty little thing back in Australia. I don’t blame you though, she is a nice lay. She gets really needy when-” he didn’t get to finish his thought before Chan swung at him, hitting him square in the jaw; knocking him back.

“Hyung!” Felix was quick to grab Chan to stop him from going in for another punch. “Let’s go man…” he pulled him away.

“Don’t you ever go near her again” Chan called out as he was pulled away.

“Hyung what the hell? You don’t go around punching drunk people in the face” Felix sighed walking him outside. “Sober up will you”

“He had it coming”

“I’m sure he did but that doesn’t make it ok. Graduation is around the corner and you’re losing it, if this is about y/n you just need to talk to her”

“She doesn’t wanna talk to me.” he sighed. “I don’t even blame her… I really fucked up Felix…”

“I still believe in you guys, you just can’t force her” Felix rubbed his back.

Chan let Felix lead him away from the party as Yugyeom dissapeared from his sight. He was just so angry. Angry that Yugyeom thought he had the right to talk about you like, angry that he thought he could even put his hands on you. He angry that in a time like this he couldn’t even comfort you.

He felt helpless.

To Be continued…

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Hey Friends! I hope you like that chapter, if so please feel free to let me know

∘Tags List:

@vhschs @thelustasylum @lunnanunna @yooniversalstudios @aiyalix @ph0ebevix @zaratanveerx @channieboyo @hannahdinse8 @got7-yeah-got7onmymind @itisjustpaula @ann0325441904 @etherealchangbin @7829-kamie @ateez-babygirl @lazyliyah @im-on-a-hellavator @princejoongie1997 @skzsprinkles @ frau-moon @ introvertapple @ehiparkcarmi @lokideadontheinside @pimpnameyannie @skkzuwu @bangtan-g7-bigbang

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canonicallysoulmates · 4 years

Text

🎃Halloween themed wincest fic rec🎃

This fic rec is, primarily, Halloween themed but you’ll also find some horror as well as just in general autumn themed fics all to, hopefully, get y’all in the spirit of the spooky season!

There’s all sorts of ratings, some weecest, a non-related Hocus Pocus AU, hopefully you’ll find something to your liking among all of these fics.

As always please head all warnings and tags as some of these fics do contain graphic and heavy topics.

Happy reading, and Happy Halloween my fellow wincest shippers! 🎃

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Halloween

Eight-Legged Freaks. by anniespinkhouse

Sam/Dean (Wincest) Outsider POV. Takes place early in season 8 but no particular spoilers except for Sam’s hair. Biddy owns a candy store. She also talks to spiders. When FBI agents Sam Smith and Dean Jones investigate a possible haunting, on Halloween evening, the consequence of Dean eating too much candy is disturbing. It’s a race against time for Sam to find a way to return Dean to normal.

The Rocky Horror Sam Show by RockSaltandCherryPie *

Sam goes to a Halloween party and dresses up like Frank N. Furter but ends up looking more like a girl than anything else.

the one that lives behind his heart by Addie_D_123 *

Dean is the spark, Sam is the fire.

The Witch's Dance by��brimstonegold and virtualpersonal *

It's either coincidence, or irony, but Sam and Dean find themselves hunting for a witch at The Witch's Dance, a party being given at the local haunted mansion on Halloween. What they find is not the kind of dance they expected.

hell is empty; all the little brothers are here by bellaaanovak

Dean just wants to make the rundown house they’re squatting in look cool for Halloween, but Sam isn’t so excited about strangers in corny costumes knocking on the door for candy. Not when there’s a gang of ghouls wreaking havoc in the neighborhood, anyways.

Greaspaint and Fairy Dust by Syls Darkplace (sylsdarkplace)

It’s Halloween. Sam’s least favorite holiday, and what should be the investigation of a simple salt and burn goes awry when Dean gets caught with his hand in the candy cauldron.

Here is where you’ll stay by belyste

Sam, Dean, and haunted hayride. Halloween!fic.

A Winchester Halloween by ello_kitty *

A short story about how the brothers spend the holiday.

Triple XY Or The Hunter, His Bitch And Their Offspring by mpregloveranon

This is the answer to this Halloween!Prompt over at the spnkink_meme. Without reveal to much already I’ll just keep the summary really short. After being cursed Sam is knocked up by his brother. On Halloween he is heavily pregnant with triplets and completely miserable. Dean feels sorry for his baby brother, especially because he pissed the witch off who cursed Sam, and takes good care of him. Throw in raging hormones, some schmoop, some angst and cute little kids and you’ll get the idea what this fic is about. ;)

Scary Monsters (and Super Creeps) by Ignited *

It’s Halloween, and the locals aren’t clued in to the fact that those things going bump in the night are much more than fabric and latex. Sam and Dean learn this fact the hard way as the clock winds down and a town’s about to be overrun by monsters.

The Witches of Salem by Revenant

There's a legend in Salem, of three sisters accused and hung for the crime of witchcraft, but not before they had killed several of the local children and placed another under a terrible curse. It is said that on Hallowe'en night, when the moon is full, the witches will rise again when a virgin lights the Black Flame Candle.

A little over three hundred years later, Sam Winchester is passing through town trying out his newly awarded independence on what he suspects will be a simple salt-and-burn; why can’t things ever go like he plans?

Why not stay and be caught? by deirdre_c *

Sam wishes to go to The Palace.

Pretty Princess by orphan_account *

Sam is excited to go to a Halloween Party… And then his first heat hits.

Take a Good Look by BewareTheIdes15 *

Sam, Dean, and a haunted house with a mirror maze - sounds like pwp to me!

Kids These Days by Magz (sparklepocalypse) *

Halloween parties are never simple when there are Winchesters involved.

Thy Back to the Forest (and Thy Front to Us) by PetraPan *

For the last three years in Stillwater, Oklahoma, children have disappeared—always five young girls, always on consecutive days, and always during the week of Halloween. By the day the Winchester's pull into town, Sam is enrolled for school, he’s stuck once more on research duty, and Dean already has a date. Sam juggles his new schoolwork, the case, and the ever-growing bitterness at the desire he feels for Dean as best as he can, but at some point he can no longer manage all three. With their father constantly absent and a nasty time constraint, Sam and Dean struggle to figure out who—or what—is taking young girls, just as they struggle to find the balance between brothers and something more.

Sugar Sweet by fallingintodivinity

“What’s all this stuff?” Sam asks warily. He gingerly picks up a bottle of red fluid and squints at it.

“Fake blood!” Dean says cheerfully. “It’s cherry-flavored,” he adds helpfully.

“But why,” Sam says, bewildered.

“Dunno,” Dean says. “It was on sale. Tastes pretty good, actually. Here, lemme show you.”

Halloween by EasyTiga *

Sam and Dean go to a Halloween party for a case and at least one of them can't keep their mind on the mission because of the outfit choice.

Hush Little Baby by hellhoundsprey *

Together with his friends, Sam visits a haunted house. It's Halloween. (Sam is 16, Dean is 20.)

Halloween and High Schoolers by onesillygoose *

I'm realizing how bad my summaries are. Anyway... Sam gets invited to a Halloween party. Dean tags along. Things never go as they should for the Winchesters.

Pumpkin Patch by KissingWinchesters

It's Halloween and Dean decides to steal a giant pumpkin.

VII - One candy left by KissingWinchesters

There’s a piece of melting, sticky caramel pressed into the centre of Sam’s back.

Candy, Pumpkin Spice, And Orgasms by KissingWinchesters

Dean takes Sam to a quaint town on Halloween. Their relationship develops.

He Never Saw the Look by orphan_account

Sam's got a secret. He's in love with his big brother. Little does he know, Dean shares the same dirty little secret.

Pretty Little Thing by Miss_Lv *

Teenager Dean goes to a Halloween party for some fun, he spots a pretty little thing and chases her all evening, flirting, and eventually cornering her. Once his got his hands on her though he realizes she is actually a he, but he's fine with that. Sam snuck out after Dean just because he could, he picked a costume he knew Dean would never recognize him in. After spending the evening being chased by his brother Sam ends up in a semi public place with Dean all over him. Sam's stupid crush on his own brother is not helping matters either.

this way comes by estrella30 *

Written for spn_halloween based on prompt #127: Sam goes to a Halloween party his first year at Stanford and gets dragged off by a guy in a mask who makes out with him. He discovers it's Dean, and the making-out continues with a vengeance.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Horror

Diamond Dogs by kassidy *

Prompt: Supernatural, Sam/Dean, werewolfism - one turns and takes the other down (interpret as you will) for dark_fest LJ comm

A Silent, Creeping Killer by lily rose (annabeth) *

Not long after Dean picks Sam up from Stanford, Sam and Dean go undercover as an engaged couple to investigate the murder of a lesbian hockey player in small-town Connecticut. Along the way, they meet dedicated lovers, frightening ghosts, and the possibility that their ruse might be becoming all too real. How will they handle their changing feelings for each other? Who will protect the lovers and tenants of the Windsor boarding house? And what does all this have to do with the play 'Arsenic and Old Lace'?

darling by allwellandgood

Dean is dead. Sam has a theory that nothing will ever hurt again.

I Wonder as I Wander by dollylux

Bobby sends Sam and Dean to investigate a strange town.

Let Me Take You Far Away by orphan_account *

Season 10. It's exactly what they need. A vacation. That's how Dean can make everything else go away. Cas was right. That's all they need. A nice, little vacation.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

Fall/Autumn themed

Death of the Petals by doctor__idiot

Dean has always thought that fall held some sort of magic.

Where You Are [Is Where I Belong] by non_tiembo_mala

Sam is stuck in class on a beautiful fall day. His mind wanders and it always ends up on Dean.

Hazy Hunter's Moon by GhostlyVoid *

Sam saves a hunter who got attacked by a werewolf, knowing exactly what trouble he's inviting into his home. The hunter, Dean, is predictably less than thrilled owing his life to a witch.

Delicious Autumn by sammichgirl

Dean just wants to give Sam a great day full of some favorite things.

Autumn Leaves by dragonspell *

In the weak light of early morning, the autumn leaves are starting to paint the woods in reds and golds and a burning orange. On some level or another, Dean knows that it’s beautiful; he does. He's just got to find Sam first.

#wincest #wincest fic rec #mine #this was supposed to be up on monday but life hapened #so...it's still halloween in places it's fine #this is probably the longest fic rec i've done

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notphilosopherstudentblog-moved · 4 years

Text

unnecessary dream smp (but not really) mock trial post

pt. 2

*warning: long post*

I have been having a terrible mock trial season so far, so I decided to cope by theorizing what the dream smp members would be like in mock trial. I will try to explain mock trial terms as much as possible, but all you really have to understand is that it is fake court. it is court roleplay, that’s it

Direct - an interrogation of your own witness to help you prove your case

Cross - an interrogation of the opposing teams’ witnesses to help you prove your case by poking holes in theirs

Case law - the “laws” of the fake world that the American Mock Trial Association set in place that set precedents for how each side is supposed to argue their cases; these are typically in the form of court cases

Voir dire - a preliminary examination of a witness or a juror by a judge or counsel; this comes in the form of opposing counsel interrupting a direct in order to prove that the witness is not fit to make their testimony for one reason or another

Wiggling - the refusal to answer a question with a direct yes or no in order to not weaken a witness’ testimony

Defendant - the person/corporation being charged with a crime

Dream Team and Co.

Dream

everyone hates him as attorney and I say this with full confidence

because he’s hyper-aggressive during cross

but also because he’s right

like a lot

he knows case law like the back of his hand

he made flashcards

and he’s memorized this year’s case like immediately after it comes out

he made spreadsheets and like ten page document for every witness, including what they bring to the case and what makes them a weak witness

I mean come on this is the same dude who played one game and hyperfixated on it so hard that he became one of the best players on the internet

his team loves him because he basically writes their entire case for them, but they’re also worried for him because he just rewrites cases on whim in the middle of the night and doesn’t mention it until someone (usually sapnap) brings it up during practice

back on topic, he usually kills it as an attorney and people are like visibly terrified when he’s their attorney

he was pretty meh as a witness when he first started but he’s actually really good now

he used to be terrible at holding a character during a direct/cross

as he’s gone along and practiced, he’s gotten much better!!!

he’s terrifying to go against as an attorney or witness, but attorney is definitely his strong suit

George

george as an attorney is a concept that I hold near and dear to my heart

I feel like they treat him the same way people treat him playing Minecraft: by severely underestimating him because he makes dumb jokes and is super quiet, but he’s actually really good!!

he’s probably super nonaggressive during cross and directs, but he goes hard during voir dire

he’s like suspiciously good at voir dires

and like forcing people to impeachments

he decimates witnesses and gets their testimonies thrown out

his teammates are suspicious that the other teams are in on it because there is no reason why he should get this many voir dires/impeachments...but he does

(he’s just really good guys, I promise)

it’s definitely not because he’s cute and witnesses don’t know how to handle it and then they slip up and he comes down hard on them

people always forget he set, like, a record for number of voir dires at a tournament, so he has this reputation as being the weakest of the dream team

he’s such a strong attorney

but oh my god his witness

do not, and I repeat, DO NOT let this man be a witness

he cannot act

he just reverts back to his personality and he has No Inflection

you think the British accent will give you points?

they can’t make up for his inability to maintain a character

Sapnap

this man is fucking PSYCHOTIC whether he is attorney or witness

he goes absolutely feral on crosses and it intimidates witnesses so much, even if they’ve been competing for years

he’s just super good at crosses, but do not put him with an emotional witness because he has this remarkable inability to act comforting

his friends can come to him with anything and they’ll talk about it and he’ll comfort them

but it’s like his emotions turn off as soon as he enters a round

it’s fucking wild

you only put him as a witness if you want that witness to have a) feral characterization, b) sexual undertones, or c) both

his witnesses are infamous every year

he is very good for throwing people off their game with out-of-left-field characters and other teams hate him for it

every single one of his characters dresses up like a frat boy trying to dress for court and it’s so funny

but he still gets other competitors hitting him up after comps, men or women

Do Not try to approach him outside of trial though because he is the definition of a quiet kid if he’s not around his friend

he will be too awkward to talk to you

Karl

I love love love Karl to death, but he is not built to be an attorney

he only plays witness

and he’s really good at it!!

he’s super fun as a witness and he wiggles a lot on answers

attorneys hate that he wiggles a lot because it’s frustrating

but there is nothing they can do about it

he doesn’t get a lot of witness roles, but the ones he does get, he kills

he gets an absurd amount of thirst posts on the mock trial confessions facebook page

like an absurd amount

it’s become a joke amongst the dream team

there is a tally kept for how many thirst posts Karl gets

he doesn’t even have to compete

people will just see him in the room and become thirsty

an icon truly

it’s because his character outfits are hot as hell, literally all the time

you have to wear business casual/professional during trial and we all know that Karl would look hot as FUCK in a suit

also everyone in college mock trial is horny

Badboyhalo

bad in mock trial would kill as an attorney

everyone loves bad

even opposing teams

because he’s just so sweet??? for like no reason???

he’s done mock trial since freshman year high school and he’s competed against (and earned the respect of) some of the best mockers in the country

he’s notorious for being super kind outside of trial and during pre-trial

but he’s terrifyingly ruthless during trial

he’s similar to dream and george, but he has a much better reputation

there was an anonymous hate message about bad on the mock trial confessions page and there was a crusade to figure out who it was

(his teammates ended up snitching on him because bad is just that beloved)

he definitely received several scholarships because he is just that good

he does not like witness

so he just does not do it

Schlatt

schlatt is the most iconic mocker

like people outside of mock trial know who he is

he’s trended on twitter

he’s really good at every role he plays, even though he plays them to their most feral extremes

he played an expert last year and spent the entire time heavily implying that his character was god

the worst part is he received a witness award for it at

every

single

tournament

every single one

judges would make a point to commend him after matches

every single time his name got announced at closing ceremonies, people died inside

it was extremely amusing for everyone on the dream team

the same year as his maybe-god character, there was a rash of anonymous confessions about schlatt and wilbur soot from another team

a cross between them at competition was so extremely homoerotic that people began shipping them immediately

this is carried on for the entirety of the season

they played into it heavily

there is still an ongoing bet on whether or not they’ve fucked

Quakity

quackity always ends up playing the defendant and always plays them super sus

memes are made about him simply because he is so suspicious every time

he once brought a guitar and attempted to sing his entire direct because his character was a singer

he was asked to leave by the judge immediately

his teammates made him an award titled ‘quickest disqualification in mock trial history’

he treasures it like a child

his teammates love him because he is hilarious

but they also hate him because he always tries to make his characters’ background that they are or were at one point strippers

no matter if they already have a background laid out by AMTA, alex

he never plays attorney

there is no reason why

he just never does

this became extremely long for absolutely no reason, but I hope you enjoyed it. I wanna do another one for SBI and co, but not right now. I’m writing this at 215 with a Slimecicle video playing the background. I have to be up at 7 for a mock trial tournament

this is helping me cope

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antihero-writings · 3 years

Text

Undead Memory (Ch1)

Fandom: Castlevania (Netflix) (Season 2)

Character Focus: Alucard

Summary: What happened during that month in which Alucard was alone in the castle?

Alucard dealing with the aftermath of S2, and trying to cope with the death—or, more accurately, the ghosts—of his parents.

Notes: First of all, spoilers for season 2!

Another Alucard-centric fic, but actually about the show this time!! Whoo!! I'm excited to finally start posting this one.

Believe it or not, I started this idea a while before S3 started, wanting to write something for the time after S2 of Alucard being alone in the castle. Then after S3 I wanted to write it both more and less XD The idea of Alucard seeing ghosts brought up at the end of S2 is an interesting one, and one I thought deserved more exploration. As well as just that month where he's alone being something interesting to write about.

This is one of those fics I wanted to post as a long one-shot, but ultimately got stuck and decided it would be better to break it up into chapters to make it more manageable for both reading and writing. I said it'd be 4 chapters above, but I'm not quite sure exactly how many it'll be. It just helps me to jot down a manageable ballpark number.

That being said, one of the reasons I hesitate to break things up into chapters, is because if people don't seem interested it severely inhibits my desire to keep writing that fic. So, it really does help my motivation a LOT when you comment and say you want to read more!! So just know that when you comment, you're helping more of this fic get written!!

Shoutout to @it-burns-when-i-pee for giving me the clock idea!

Chapter 1: Reminders

There were no graves. Dracula and Lisa didn’t get graves. The rest of the world would have said they didn’t deserve to rest in peace.

Antigone would say Polynices deserved to sing in Olympus all the same.

The only grave they got was a castle. And many would say it was better than most—that they’d take a castle over a headstone, a mausoleum, or the ground any day. They’d say a castle was a hell of a lot better than being dumped down the sewage grate.

And all that’s fair, but perhaps the bigger problem was this: there were no remains.

They both burned. One in holy fire, one in hell. (And who could say where they truly ended up, if there was a heaven and hell after all?)

All that was left of Lisa Tepes was a pile of charcoal on an altar to a priests own pride.

And all that was left of Vlad Tepes was a ring, and a soot stain on the carpet.

Most would say they got what they deserved; to die without chance at Olympus.

Adrian doesn’t know where to put his flowers.

Most children bury their parents eventually, but usually this is when they have children of their own to keep them company, and their parents have been bouncing grandchildren on their knees for at least a year or two, with white hair and crinkled smiles, barely able to walk, or see: sick and ready to greet the gods.

Adrian may look old enough to settle down, but he’s younger than most would surmise. And while he can certainly handle himself, he was not prepared for his parents to die within a year of each other…especially considering that the parent who was meant to be immortal died by his own hand.

He would have liked to have some respite in his own home.

But perhaps, more important than where to put flowers, there was most unfortunate side effect of the lack of remains, and the castle grave:

Ghosts.

And this isn’t the pearly white wraiths wandering around saying ‘boo’, or skulls that float about the head gnashing their teeth. Not even a chained apparition to remind one of their sins.

This is something much worse. Worse because they belong to the house’s owner. Worse because their true grave is his head.

—(And that place never rested)—

Their ghosts wander the castle, not just a graveyard. This castle seems to have an affinity for the undead.

Maybe not everyone could see them. He tries not to indulge the thought that maybe there’s nothing there at all, and they’re nothing more than undead memory.

Alucard has been seeing ghosts since the moment he was left alone in this place.

He’d rather have a grave to mourn them at, and converse with the memories, than watch their ghosts keep him up at night, unable to touch, or to talk to them.

He should remind himself to look up the definition of ‘torment’ later.

At first it was his father’s steps when he walked up the stairs. His mother’s smiles, his own young laughter when he sat in the study. When he sat at the table to eat, he watched the vampire king tossing a young boy into the air, both laughing like fairy wing beats, as Lisa watched on from the table. Alucard tried not to lose his appetite.

Then they were given voice: it was Father’s lessons when he looked for a book in the library. Mother’s stories as he sat reading, making him incapable of concentrating to his own book all the while. Baking cookies together in the kitchen. Father allowing him his first drink—(of wine or blood? Take a guess. He only needed one of them, after all)—as he walked through the cellar. Mother decorating the castle, making it look a little nicer, a little more alive. Not all of them were positive. Their arguing voices down the hallway. His own tears.

Father’s claws against his chest.

And he wouldn’t dare get close to that room. Because whenever he walks past the door, he can still hear his father speak to him like he did when he was still a child dressed in sunlight, and there was nothing but love.

Mother, father and…himself. As if he died long ago with them. As if the happy child he was within them is gone. As if he’s no longer the Adrian who sat with his parents, read with them, baked cookies, and laughed with them…but the Alucard who killed them.

And, well, maybe he didn’t kill his mother, but sometimes he didn’t know what else to think but to blame himself for the thought that he could have saved her.

And he did kill his father.

He still feels that stake in his hand when he walks by that room—(But it wasn’t a stake was it? It was the bedpost of his childhood bed, as if ripping his childhood at the seams and denying everything he was born as). He still feels its splinters in his fingers, the smell of pine, the feeling of it piercing his father’s chest, the way his heartbeat refused to stop—(he rested his head on his chest once, the constancy of the rhythm was comforting then). The warmth of his father’s blood draining over his fingers. The sound of his father’s ripping voice. The unearthly, ungodly howling of the souls trapped inside him—(was he really so bad?). He could still smell his flesh burning.

He still wakes up in the middle of the night with the image of his fathers face melting off its bones as it came closer to him, reaching out as if to to caress his son’s cheek, seared onto his eyes—(is this how Victor Frankenstein felt when the creature smiled at his window?)

But when the morning came, he took that ring and he wore it on a chain around his neck all the same, to remind him of a few things:

One: that love is one of those things that is free, but comes at a high price. If you take it lightly, it will leave you heavily.

Two, an addendum to one: that love is not soft. Love is not flowery words, or even the insatiable desires the romance novels say it is. Love is an insidious fire, when you have it, it rages, and you know what warmth is. When the fireplace is empty it aches, and when your heart breaks your chest gets cut on all the pieces. And underestimating it, calling it weakness, will always be your undoing.

Three—(one that was beginning to weigh heaviest): that living and immortality are not the same thing. Vlad may have been immortal, but he was only ever alive with Lisa.

Four: to always know where he came from…and where he didn’t want to end up.

Five, and final: that though he had saved lives, though it was noble, and the stories and songs would say he was brave, and though Trevor and Sypha would say it was for the greater good…he would always be the son who loved his father…and the son who drove the stake into his father’s heart.

All for love.

He can find respite from the memories sometimes. He finds himself spending too much time down in the Belmont hold, reading, organizing, putting away ancestors—(ancestors not of his, ones that didn’t come back). Learning, pursing his lip in disapproval, or laughing to himself at the thought of some of the things Trevor’s relatives did (making a mental note to use the story against Trevor when he next saw him). Thinking of his friends…and trying not to think of them, lest they become ghosts too.

He likes going out into the woods to get food, and water, and fresh air. He wavers there at times, wondering if maybe he could just… leave. He spends more time out there than is strictly necessary.

Sometimes he runs out into the woods—well, more precisely padding, cantering on paws—and other times flies—trying to make sure his tongue can taste freedom, and his wings can snare sunlight, before he turns back.

But he always has to return. Return to the stuffy, putrefied remains of the castle. The air where he hears his parents whisper sweet words that are gone, where memory reconstructed from fairy castles sweet worlds he’s ripped away.

Would it be so hard to just leave?

Surely we can let the poor wandering souls in the woods find refuge. It was a grave after all. Just let the lost rest against the headstones, though they know not whose skeletons lie beneath them.

He leans against Trevor’s tree, and sees a young boy playing on the branches—laughing, free—and smiles…before it becomes gasp and grimace, and he shakes his head, returning to the castle.

Not them too.

He thought he could take it. The grief. The ghosts. The wrath of the gods

But he can’t stay.

Not forever. That is to say, he can’t leave for long. Just to visit town, to see another person or two, to get out of his head, and pray the specters won’t follow him.

He slings his bag over his shoulder, along with the coat he always wore—the one that smells like the campfires he sat at with Trevor and Sypha—and sighs as he walks out the door.

He has another grave to visit.

#castlevania #netflix castlevania #castlevania fanfiction #castlevania fanfic #castlevania fic #castlevania netflix #alucard #alucard castlevania #castlevania alucard #adrian tepes #adrian fahrenheit tepes #castlevania season 2 #dracula #Lisa Tepes #Vlad Tepes #Vlad Dracula Tepes #castlevania fandom

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citrinekay · 4 years

Text

On September 6, 2019 I posted my very first Mindhunter fic to AO3, two whiskeys straight. At the time, I had no idea I was about to spend the next year of my life writing for this pairing, religiously re-watching the two amazing seasons we’ve gotten (so far!), and enjoying perhaps one of the best fandom experiences of my life. I thought I should mark the occasion by reminiscing on all of my 51 works I’ve produced in the last year, and thanking some of the people who have encouraged and inspired me.

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN: 679,747 (holy shit!! This number doesn’t include what I’ve written on my current WIP which just crossed the 70k threshhold and doesn’t look to be wrapping up anytime soon lol)

TOTAL SERIES (3): The Summer of 81, Fragile (Handle With Force), In Your Eyes

TOP 5 WORKS BY HITS

1. The Summer of 81 series (lumping these 4 fics into one position since it would take up too many spots lol) 2. The Golden Boys 3. All This, And Love Too, Will Ruin Us 4. Full Windsor 5. Neon Dreams

TOP 5 MOST RE-READ FICS BY BOOKMARKS

1. Two Whiskeys Straight 2. The Golden Boys 3. Messy Suits You 4. Neon Dreams 5. All This, And Love Too, Will Ruin Us

TOP 5 MOST LOVED FICS BY COMMENTS

1. The Golden Boys 2. Red Bordeaux, 1971 3. Two Martinis Dry 4. All Our Lies 5. Two Whiskeys Straight

TOP 5 MOST UNDERRATED FICS (in my personal opinion but also by hit count)

1. The Quality of Memory 2. At The Speed of Light 3. Last Resort 4. Deconstruct 5. Every Time We Kissed (There Was Another Apple To Slice Into Pieces)

I would love to hear from everyone what their absolute favorite fic is! Or if you can’t choose, your current favorite. I definitely have my own prejudices when it comes to my fics, and some of my favorites didn’t even crack the top 5

MY PERSONAL TOP 5 THAT DIDN’T MAKE OTHER CATEGORIES

1. Our Own Private Hells 2. Near Misses 3. Four Hundred and Seven Hours 4. Lake Michigan 5. Porcelain & Pink 6. (yeah, yeah I know I said top 5) An Excess of Dangerous Curiosity

Enough about me, though! I’ve read some fics in this fandom that have truly blown me away. I’m still going to be thinking about some of these in five years whether I’m still writing for this pairing or not.

TOP 5 FAVORITE FICS BY OTHER AUTHORS:

1. Vacancy by arbitrarily on AO3. As far as I know, this is the only MH fic this person ever wrote, but it was literally my gateway drug to the pairing. Everything about this fic is amazing - the prose, the pacing, the characterization, the visceral imagery, and the brutal, almost unbearable emotion. 100/10 recommend.

2. All The Sins (You Never Had The Courage to Commit) by @mormon-hair. I’ve been reading fanfic for a long time, but this is the first one that actually brought me to tears. It’s a crime boss/ undercover FBI agent AU that I was not expecting to evoke such strong emotions from me, but by the end I was rooting for them to be together so strongly that I actually shed a few tears.

3. Moons, Junes, and Ferris Wheels by moonrocks. I thought about this fic for a solid week after I read it, then I re-read it probably five more times. The ending was not at all what I was expecting, and even though there’s no clear-cut resolution I kind of love the fact that it’s left with so many questions as the show itself often is.

4. The Lesser Key of Holden Ford by @vivarocksteady. Holy shit this fic blew my socks off!! It is not for the faint of heart. There’s demon possession, the forces of evil, and religious guilt all working against Bill and Holden before they finally get to admit their true feelings to each other, but goddamn was it fucking worth it. I’ve read this one a second time also and will probably re-read again in the future.

5. Weak Hearts and Blank Spots also by moonrocks (and including the subsequent sequels) This series stole my heart. I waited impatiently every week for the update and tried to be the first person to comment every time because I loved it that much. It’s just my type - lots of angst, mutual pining, and hurt feelings before Bill and Holden manage to get together.

6. Honorable mentions: A Sudden Red by by mormon-hair, Stripped Down to the Bone and Flirting With An Addiction I Can’t Shake Off both by @bambikieren. (and their current project But to the Dead, the Truth which isn’t complete yet, but I’m loving so far)

I’d also just like to do a quick shout-out to all the people who have contributed to my success in this fandom whether currently or in the past, left comments, encouraged me, given me prompts, or just been all around awesome:

@citruslucy @lovesight @rominatrix @loveislove5887 @ashtheironbat @randomwriter23 @buster-kitten @heymikkimouse @amygirl90 @crownofstardustandbone @queenielacy @lowkeystandom @this-sentiment @heyitshamderson @thesummerof-83 @winderwaven @woollenpharaohs @nerodeniro

There’s so many other people who I have interacted with over the course of the last year that I can’t remember, or I just don’t know their tumblr urls, or they aren’t on tumblr at all. If I’ve left anyone out, just know I’m collectively imagining all the good times and kind words this fandom has given me. I’m also thinking about the people who have read all of my fics religiously, but were too shy to comment or reach out - hey, I love you guys too and I do notice when I see kudos or reblogs/likes from people I have never spoken to.

The last year has been crazy, confusing, and sometimes scary with everything that’s going on in the world right now, but this fandom and pairing has been a comforting presence, a little escape from the fray. I feel as if I’ve become a better author in this year of record-breaking writing, and I’ve put out some works that I’m still going to be proud of in five years time. Here’s to rest of this ride, for however long it lasts! Cheers, friends 🙌🥂💛

#mindhunter #bill x holden #my writing

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leboutique-lily · 4 years

Note

OMG HIII CAN I REQUEST A NAMJOON X READER SMUT ABOUT YALL ARE MARRIED AND TRYING FOR HAVING A BABY?? AND THEN IT BECAME SUCCESSFUL AND YOU ANNOUNCED YOUR PREGNANCY TO HIM?? THANKS MY LOVE!! 💜💜💜💜💜💜

Hey dear anon, sorry took me so long. I'm not having much time lately...

But here you go baby.

Enjoy!

His smell... all you fell is his smell and the weight of his body on top of yours.

That musk, earth but still fresh scent that you know so well surrounding everything, taking all your senses.

Your lips planting little kisses and brushing against his neck, his skin so warm and a bit salty, his pulse fast on the tip of your tongue...

That is how you are right now, with your beloved husband hovering over your body.

After a nice meal together and some tv time, he decided that the best way to spend his free time from work with you, in you.

A soft kiss soon became more, your bodies now tangled on the couch, hands and legs laced together in a mess of want and desire. Desire to make your love become something more, to bring someone new to this world.

"My love... let me take you to bed."

His low, rasp voice whispered in your ear and chill travelled down your spine at the sound, his voice was one of your weak spots and he knew it.

You nodd your head and feel his hands wrap around your back and you left leg, lifting both of you from the soft couch. Your legs instantly tightened on his waist and your arms circled around his neck to secure yourself.

Once in your shared room he gently lowers you on the bed, standing between your legs looking like a monument. So damn tall and well build... the epitome of beauty.

His eyes look down at you with so much love and tenderness, his hands moving to help you get rid of all the unnecessary clothes and you doing the same with him.

Now skin to skin, you feel his rhythm slowing down. His hands feeling every inch of your skin, bringing goosebumps to the surface. You hands move to his cheecks, carising the skin adorned with very light stubble. His smile at you, those adorable dimples showing up. Oh goodness, you hope that your child get those dimples too.

His hand stop on your belly, his eyes following his hand when says:

"Right here... I'm going to put a baby right here."

Somehow it comes out sweet, his hand splayed on your belly covering almost all of it.

"I can't wait..." was all you could muster. You're thrilled by the idea of caring his baby, your baby.

He climbs his way up to you and take you on a passionate kiss, you can feel the love and devotion he has for you. Every brushing of his lips, every time his tongue touches yours, his taste lingering on your mouth... makes you crave more, and more he gives to you.

"I can't wait to get you full of me, to see you walking around with our baby on your belly. You're look even more beautiful..."

His lips found your nipples and the moan you let out makes his dick twitch against his abdomen.

His tongue continued to make patterns on your taut nipples, his large hands massaging the sensible globes, relaxing and exciting you at the same time.

The moans and gasps coming out of your mouth making him take his advances lower, aiming your succulent pussy.

He spread your legs and is presented to your dripping slit, your juices tainting the top of your thights. He was surprised from how wet you were from so little, then he remembered why, his tongue taking a long lick from top to bottom on you pussy and you hips jumping at the sudden touch.

"So sensitive... is my love ovulating?" He said as he took another lick and another, and another.

"Joon...I- yes. Oh it feels so good" you whimper at hot feeling of his tongue on your entrance.

His tongue scoop all he can get, teasing your opening and concentrating on you clit giving it kitten licks and sucking in his mouth.

"You taste so sweet tonight my love, so ready for me..." you can only moan out at his words and grab his hair begging him to let you come.

"Please... please Joonie" you cry out for your husband and he stop his ministrations taking your release way and making you cry out in frustration.

"Shh... it's okay baby. I'm gonna make you cum so hard, okay? But you have you wait a little bit more, just a bit more."

His voice was saccharine sweet and his fingers took chance to work on you sweet clit to bring you close to your high again. Your hips were moving with his fingers, desperate to reach that end.

"That's it, good girl... look at me now baby -and your eyes were fast to look at him- you're gonna hold it for me, ok? Don't cum yet my love." And your face was the painting of despair, his fingers fastening on your clit and entering you to add to the stimulation.

You shaked you head and tried to hold his hand to stop him.

"I-I can't! Namjoon I can't hold it.. oh my-"

He could see how hard you were trying to comply his wishes right now, his heart satisfied and his dick hard as a rock.

Suddenly he stopped everything and holded your legs wide open for you not to close them seeking any relieve.

Your cries echoed on his ears and he was fast to comfort you.

"Such a good girl, my beautiful good girl. You did so well my love..." the tears starting to form in your eyes making him go forward.

"I'm building your pleasure, bringing you close so when you come around my cock, my love... you'll suck all that big load right in your little womb"

You could come right there from his words and the throaty moan you emitted made a large smile appear on his features.

"You like that my love, my life... you're gonna take everything? Keep me deep inside of you, not waste a single drop."

"Yes! Yes I want you Joonie, I want you so bad baby... I want you to put a baby inside of me, to give me everything"

He lost it at your words, your mind clouded by lust, desire and love.

"My love. Oh baby, I need you" he couldn't wait any longer, he needed to be inside of you.

You felt his tip running up and down on your pussy making you squirm, then you felt him at your opening and his large tip pushing in slowly.

You were so sensitive by your hormones and all the teasing that you were afraid that you would come just by the feeling of his large cock entering you. Namjoon could feel your walls clenching around him, trying to suck him deeper.

"Easy baby, not yet. Take a breath for me..." he was not letting you cum, not before him tonight. Tonight he needed you to take all his cum, to keep it all inside.

His tip was kissing your cervix, making you feel full and complete, nestled deep inside right where it belonged.

He started grinding into you, every little vein and crevice of dick rubbing just right against your walls, making you feel like there's nothing better in the world, nothing could feel better than this.

His chest was flush against your front, nipples pressed on his hot skin, his breath dancing on your neck, his low grunts adorning the moment, adding to the hot feeling that surround you both.

It's like a bubble, like there was no one else in the universe right now... just this intimate moment, this passionate need to make your love produce something.

He looked at you, his nose bumping your nose, his hands on your head... tangled in your locks. You want it so badly... see the love in his eyes materialized.

All this he could see in your own eyes, it was like looking in a mirror.

With your bodies tangled in a mess that no one would know where you began and where he ends he fastened his pace. The sound of skin to skin louder, the gasps and moans mashed together in a sinfony of desire that announced the so wanted pleasure.

Your lips seeked his plush ones in a long, tender kiss. That fire burning deep inside of you, ready to burn it all down.

"Baby... please cum. Cum inside of me, give me a baby."

With a low grunt and his fingers on your clit he shoot his load deep inside your pussy, making you cum and milk him dry with your clenching walls.

You could feel the warmth of his cum... it felt so good.

"I hope it work it..." he mumbled in your neck.

"With how much you came tonight, it'll be surprising if it doesn't " you giggled at his ear.

"Well... I was saving for the occasion Mrs. Kim." He said planting sweet kisses on you lips.

You made amends to move but his heavy body was making it impossible.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said moving deeper inside of you, making you gasp.

"Ah... well, you're gonna stay... there?"

"Hell yeah I'm gonna stay there, I'm not letting anything drip from this little pussy."

"Namjoon!"

"What? -He said laughing- it's the truth, pass me that pillow, love."

He put the pillow under your bum, making your hips higher with him snuggled at your cervix.

"Okay... this is going to be a long night."

A few weeks passed since that night, and you guys have been at it like bunnies in heat season. Namjoon was making you breakfast, handing you the passion fruit juice and the little buns with créme patissiére, your favorite, when suddenly you felt sick.

The smell and the texture of the cream making your stomic bubble in disgust.

You put the plate down and ran to the bathroom, throwing everything in your stomic out. Namjoon was fast behind you, holding your hair and soothing you with his hand on your back.

"Baby I can handle it myself, this is gross."

"None of that, come here. Let's get you cleaned up"

Now on the couch of your leaving room, Namjoon was pensive looking at your belly as if would suddenly talk and give him answers.

"Do you.. do you think that..?"

You said to him, waiting his answer.

"Well, there's only one way to find out."

"Right... okay, let's buy a test and- "

His voice stopped your thoughts.

"Oh baby... I've already brought it."

Your man, always thinking ahead.

So there you go, pee on a stick right? The bathroom door closed and the test on your hand, suddenly minutes looked like hours, that damn lines won't show u-

"Oh! Oh my God..." your eyes immediately watering at the two lines in front of you. You're pregnant. You're pregnant!

You must stayed there more than is felt like because soon Namjoon was knocking on the door.

"Love... is everything okay?"

His voice uncertain, face leaning against the wood.

You opened the door to an wide eyed Namjoon, mouth agape at your tears.

"My love.."

You handed him the stick, big smile on your lips as Namjoon standed there with his eyes fixed on the lines.

When he looked at you, his eyes were mirroring yours. Full of happy tears.

"We're gonna be parents! I'm gonna be a dad!" He said spinning with you in his arms.

The family was about to grown.

🌸

A/N: This is heavily unedited, I'm sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️.

@tipsydipsydo

#bts smut #namjoonsmut #kim namjoon #namjoon fanfic #ask #dadnamjoon #yoongismut #seokjinsmut #taehyungsmut #jiminsmut #jungkooksmut

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natsukitakama · 4 years

Text

Imagine : Last chance Bakugo x reader

Author note : I’m sorry, I wanted to write something angst and I couldn’t help myself. It was supposed to be a plot for a RP but I didn’t know who ask for, so I just write it down. I apologize it it’s kinda shitty, it’s my first imagine I’ve never done something like that I hope you would still enjoy it. Again I may repeat myself but I never wrote an imagine before I'm still self-conscious with my writing but I hope it went fine please let me know if you enjoy this. ♡

Warning : curse word / angst / mention of blood / Bakugo being Bakugo / spoiler from season 2 and 3 I guess

Pairing : Bakugo Katsuki x reader (gender neutral)

Words : 2391

i do not own that gif credit to the owner

It wasn’t supposed to happen, you weren’t supposed to lay here unconscious suffering from what should be his pain. Why would you do that ? Why would you meddle in some battle he was involved ? Don’t you hear him last time ? Why would you still want to protect him ? He didn’t deserve any of your attention, he never did, and more importantly you never deserved to be here in coma for someone who barely acknolewdge you. Why do you choose him ? Why do you love him ? God, does it hurt seeing you here sleeping while your face wears that pain expression since days.

Now Bakugo started to regret his last word, of course he had to be an asshole of course he had to be like this during what could be your last moment. Why did he not tell you the truth ? He should tell you how much he loves you, how much you mean to him even if you were sometime a pain in his ass. He would kill any people who hurt you, he would kick anyone’s ass if he could make you happy. Why can’t he just say that ? He couldn’t help but remember your last interaction. It was the first time he saw you crying, he never saw you like this : usually you were such a sunshine to his little heart, always happy, always positive always happy to help. It even bothered him how nice you could be. His ego was hurt, during a long time he loved pretending it was because you annoys him when it wasn’t the case. In fact he was jealous, he couldn’t be like this with you, moreover not only were you nice with him but you were like this with everyone who were around you. It piss him off, he should be the only one to enjoy your kindness but no.

He couldn’t complain though. Even if you were actually nice with everyone, Bakugo was your favorite. No matter how many time he kicked you out or yelled at you, you always came after him for help or just enjoy his presence. You were always so cheerful, it reminded of Deku. Maybe that why he had to answer you the way he did :

Bakugo was walking home, another day where he was frustrated cause it seemed that Deku took everything from him. But it won’t stop him, one day he will be able to be under the light for once, and everyone would notice how amazing he was and how pathetic Deku could be. Groaning at the thought of his rival, he didn’t notice you as you were running to catch him during his walk. For whatever reason, Katsuki sounded quite sad as if something was bothering him. You were determined to find what bothered him and helped him going through it, even if he told you before to let him go you knew better than to let him scary you. You knew it was only his way to protect himself for being hurt by someone. You knew him or at least that what you thought.

After running, you were finally able to catch him. You took his shoulder so he will have to look at you. You knew he never like to be touched, but you didn’t how else you would ask him to listen to you. The way he looked at you should give you some clues of what was about to happen, today he looked especially angry you should know better than to try something. But you were determined to do anything to help you. After all you were so deeply in love with him, you couldn’t let him down you would do everything to keep him happy. You knew he suffered from a lack of trust, his confidence was also so breakable. He tended to be violent to protect himself but you knew deep down he was nothing but a sweetheart. You were sure of that, so that’s why you could handle some of his yells, you knew he didn’t mean it… Right ?

« Bakugo are you alright ?

Haaa ? What was that ? Why do you care ?

It’s just you know… you look like you need help »

You should never say that, you knew he never liked admit it when he was weak. The moment you let those words leave your mouth, you knew you were in trouble.

« And who do you think you are ? Mh ? What make you feel I need your help anyway

It just-

It’s nothing, just like you. You know what you are ? Nothing just a piece of shit. God you’re so annoying following me all the time like a lost puppy who do you think you are ? Don’t you have friends to bother ? They probably left you. »

Crack. That was the sound of your heart broken from his words. Why would he say that ? Did you cross the line ? Should you let him down as he ask you to ? You never thought you’ll annoy him, you never wanted to. All you wanted was to help him, to love him even if he might never share the same for you (why would he ?) you were happy as long as he was. You didn’t know what was happening to you, but it started to be difficult for you to breath, your sight start to blurry as Bakugo the man you always loved was looking at you with disapproval. Then you felt something rolling on your left cheek, then on your right one and then you felt a lot hot liquid running on your face as you were suffocated.

Why did you feel this way ? Why love someone was so painful ? It shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t feel like this. You heard yourself sobbing, trying to catch your breath, as you felt Bakugo walking past you telling you to stay away from him cause he didn’t have nothing to do with a crybaby like you. One minute later you felt yourself on your knees, as you were holding yourself crying, screaming more and more. You were bending your body, like a prayer. You couldn’t stop crying, it seemed like his harsh words were etched on your spirit cause you could hear it again. And again.

When you were finally able to get yourself together, you walked home without a word not able to think properly. You just did everything mechanically so you didn’t have to process what was happening. The idea of bothering him never crossed your mind, you always thought you were doing it for him. But, was it the truth ? Weren’t you selfish for believing he might enjoy your attention ? What if you were wrong since the beginning, and he was actually bothered by you ? You thought you’ve never done that to catch his attention, to become his significant other but you were lying to yourself. Of course the thought of him being touched by your action, and asking you to become his lover was your dream since you started to have crush on him.

It was your own fault for not being able to understand him, to catch his true nature and for not being able to see when you should shut your mouth. Now It was over, you should do as he said and stay away from him. You would end up bothering him even more anyway. So you did as he requested, you went school next day without giving him a single look ; everytime you were closed to him you lowered your head so you won’t make eye contact with him. After what he has said to you, you weren’t sure if he ever wanted to see you again and since you couldn’t disappear, you did everything not make any contact with him.

But it hurt, it hurt as hell, seeing him laughing with Eiji as if nothing happened, being himself as if he didn’t broke your heart. You never felt so empty before, what if your « friend » felt the same way ? What if you were a burden instead of someone they could count on ? After your argument with Bakugo you started to avoid everyone not wanting not live another argument like this, your heart won’t be able to take it. Your friends did notice something was off with you, but they didn’t know how to ask you what’s wrong without hurting you. They noticed you started to avoid Bakugo too so they knew something happened between you two but again it wasn’t simple to find any clues. Besides everyone were kinda busy since the summer camp was about to start.

That’s when the worst began, couple of days after your arrival you were surrounded by vilains who traveled to kidnap Bakugo and to kill as much hero as possible. Hearing that Bakugo was in danger, forced you to run as fast as possible on the woods. You did everything to not succumb from the soporific gaz over you, you didn’t know what you’ll do but you couldn’t just let him down : despite everything he has done to you, you still loved him and you’ll do everything to protect him. Unfortunately for you that would mean being hurt pretty badly.

In fact, during your escape from the magician you did everything to protect Bakugo from behind as Todoroki was in front of everyone. Everyone hope that your formation would be able to protect Bakugo until you’ll find any hero especially Aizawa-sensei who would be able to kick those villains’ ass.

But, fate was definetly against you, when you thought everyone was safe, in blink of an eye you were surrounded by villains ready to kill you if it was necessary to catch their prey. All of your friends did everything in their power including you, to protect Bakugo for being kidnap by them, but Twice was quick enough to isolate you and Bakugo from the rest of your friends. And as if the situation wasn’t already alarming, you felt your body being weak from using your quirk since the beginning of the battle. Although, you couldn’t let Bakugo on himself you knew you couldn’t let that fight left any longer. You tried to punch Twice on the stomach so you could run with Bakugo to join your friends, but before you could notice, Moonfish was already in front of Bakugo, afraid he might not be able to answer back quickly you decided to let Twice down and ran as fast as possible to protect Bakugo for being hurt.

Squish. That’s the last thing you could heard properly before feeling something stabbing you In your stomach. You couldn’t even describe it, you felt as if you breath was taken away, every movement hurt you like hell in addition you started to feel weak. One second later you were on your knees while Moonfish was removing his bone from your stomach, if you didn’t feel him stabbing you before you definetly felt him removing his bone away from your body. It was like your entire body was leaving your your felt every inch of his damn bone leaving your body, slowly to make it even worse.

Then everything happened quite quickly, you heard Bakugo yelling something like « Bastard » while you felt your body emptying from your blood, it’s getting difficult to breath, you weren’t able to see properly anymore. You felt your body fall on the left as you were closing your eyes slowly while you covered the floor with your own blood. The last thing you saw was Bakugo getting surronded by the magician and Twice, you held your hand in Bakugo’s direction before it fell to the ground as you were loosing consciousness.

Now here you were, on a bed with Recovery girl as she did everything in her power to help you going through your state. You were currently in coma, because you lost a lot of blood and couple of your organe were pretty damaged from the last fight. Forcing you to stay in coma was a relief for Recovery girl cause the last thing she wanted was you awaken and suffered from this : you could die from pain especially since you couldn’t eat or drink. Bakugo was here too, since you went in hospital he barely left you (only when Aizawa-sensei kicked him out). When he was captured all he could thing was you, he remembered seeing you looking at him with a smile while you were stabbed by that bastard. How could you smile during such a moment ? How you could you still smile at him when everything he did was hurting you.

He couldn’t forgive himself, cause to be honest, not seeing you since your last argument made him realized how much you meant to him. The fact that everytime you weren’t looking at him afraid of seeing him in the eye, he felt like he was stabbed directly on his heart. He was angry because you saw him as a weak person while he tried everything to show off, but he failed and now you were here unconscious, no one was ever sure you would ever wake up from your state. And all he could remember was your face as he broke your heart, he couldn’t help but let some tears rolling from his cheeks, god he was such an assholes, such a coward for never confessing how much he loved you.

And now, as he was losing you at every minute, he wished he could go back in time and told you the truth. Told you how much he enjoyed when you were cheering him up, how much he craved for your cheering when he was fighting, how much he loved when you remembered every little thing about him, it made him feel loved in a way he never thought he could be loved. But he fucked up, as usual he broke everything : first All might and now you. He was definetly a loser. If you woke up, no when you’ll wake up he should apologize and beg you to take him back. He never deserved you and now that you might die from your woods, he realized his mistakes. No one tried to talk to him cause they knew their words were useless, only you could understand him, only you could help him going through his insecurity. Everyone, including teacher were hoping you might wake up eventually.

#mha #bha #My hero academia #Boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #Katsuki Bakugo #Bakugo #Bakugo x reader #Bakugo Katsuki x reader #Katsuki Bakugo x reader #Bakugo imagine #Bakugo Katsuki imagine #Katsuki Bakugo imagine #My hero academia imagine #Boku no hero academia imagine #Angst #Mha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bnha x reader

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imagining-supernatural · 4 years

Text

The Fifth Check-In

Part 23 of Seventy Percent

Series Summary: When you left on your trip to Vegas, you’d planned on letting loose for one last weekend before heading back to reality and getting your affairs in order so your best friend wouldn’t be left cleaning up your mess when your cancer finally ended your life. What you hadn’t counted on was waking up married to a celebrity who has a knight-in-shining-armor complex, connections with an oncologist, and amazing insurance…

Chapter Summary: You have a panic attack on the day you get another round of test results back

Word Count: 1,744

Warnings: The Magicians season 5 spoilers right off the bat. Skip the first few paragraphs if you don’t wanna be spoiled!!

“Look, all I’m saying is that Quentin should have lived and that was a shitty ending.” After stating your opinion, you sat back in the chair and waited for Brenda to respond.

She finished writing something in a chart and nodded over at you. “But the whole season was kind of culminating to that ending, wasn’t it? Quentin had Eliot right there the whole time, but it wasn’t Eliot. They were so close, but couldn’t be together. Then, when the Monster is finally gone, they still can’t be together.”

“Okay, but sacrificing himself like that? God, Q’s been suicidal his whole life and having him basically commit suicide, but wrapping it up with a nice bow of martyrdom is probably the worst way they could have handled it. This is fucking fantasy. You think the writers could have found a better way to keep the angst and tension of keeping Eliot and Quentin apart rather than, you know, killing the character so many people who struggle with depression can identify with like that. Make one of them stuck in another world. Have one be sent back in time or something.”

Brenda regarded you with narrow eyes, taking in your words.

Conversations like this were the reason she was your favorite nurse in the hospital. Both of you shared interest in so many TV shows that it was an instant connection and she would constantly come fill out charts in your room for the company.

“I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“Mm, well, I have all the time in the world lately to mindlessly scroll through posts online. I never thought I’d miss being able to go out to, like, bars and shit.”

“Well, once you recover from your surgery in January, you’ll be able to do that again.”

You nodded and absently picked at the hem of your shirt. Mid-January was one month away. Yesterday and this morning you’d been run through the gambit of tests and you’d be meeting with Dr. Chowdhury later today for the results. In the three weeks since Thanksgiving, you’d gotten so weak you could barely walk up a flight of stairs without having to pause in the middle to catch your breath. You hoped to God that meant the treatment was working.

If this treatment wasn’t working, there likely wouldn’t be any reason for you to stay in the clinical trial.

Would there be any reason to stay in New York if that happened? When you’d made the deal with Sebastian to stay married and get treatment, you’d agreed that once the treatment was over, you’d get a divorce. But things had changed, hadn’t they?

Brenda got a page and left the room in a hurry, giving your thoughts more space to multiply.

Had things changed enough?

And if you were kicked out of the clinical trial, was it fair to Sebastian for you to stay? You’d known each other almost exactly three months. That wasn’t enough time to expect someone to endure watching your cancer kill you in the last few weeks of your life.

Of course, you hadn’t even known him a full twenty-four hours before he was offering to fly you to New York, offering his home to you, and offering his medical insurance.

The cry of a child down the hallway drew you from your thoughts enough for you to recognize the beginning of a dark spiral. Without thinking too much of it, you pulled your phone out to call Sebastian. On the first ring, you realized he was probably shooting a scene and wouldn’t be able to answer. On the second ring, you decided to just leave a short voicemail. Nothing too worrying.

And on the third ring, he answered. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Oh, hi. I wasn’t expecting you to answer.”

“You called at a good time. Just finished shooting for the day.”

His voice alone was enough to help lessen the tension that had gathered in your shoulders and you found yourself relaxing further back into the recliner. “Wow, short day. What’re you going to do with all of this free time?”

“Thought I’d grab some food and relax until you called. Did you already meet with Dr. Chowdhury?”

“Not yet.” You shook your head, even though he wouldn’t be able to see you. “I’ve still got another hour and a half ‘til the appointment.”

“You nervous?”

You let out a snort of laughter. “A bit, yeah. And by a bit, I mean I’m overthinking everything way too much right now.”

“Talk to me, baby. What’s on your mind?”

“Besides the ever-present worry that the tests come back bad? I don’t know…”

“Y/N…” he prompted.

Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes. As if that would make your thoughts easier to bear. “If this treatment isn’t working, what happens then? I-I-I… God, I know I sound like a broken record, but if the results aren’t good, I’m out of options and I can’t help but worry. I mean, what? I go back to Utah and try to make myself accept that I’m going to die? It took me a while to wrap my head around that earlier this year. I don’t know if I can do it as… as peacefully as before. Peacefully isn’t the right word, but I can’t think of it right now. I just… Seb I need the results to be good today. I need good news. I fuckin’ need it.”

“Hey, sweetheart, there’s no—”

“At the very least I need to stick around long enough to see the new season of The Magicians. I’ve put in far too much time looking up fan theories online to die before it airs.” You were rambling. You knew it. But you couldn’t stop. In fact, you just kept talking faster and faster, tripping over your words. “And have I ever told you about when I watched the finale of the last season? I was crying so much that when I left my room to get ice cream, Jasmin told me she could hear me crying all the way from her room. Like, fuck, that can’t be the last scene I see of The Magicians. That would be far too cruel of a joke for the Universe to play on me.”

“Y/N, breathe.” You did as he said. He waited for you to take a few more breaths before speaking again. “Baby, where’s all this coming from? You were fine this weekend before I left, weren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I was. But now it’s here and this is the last round of these tests like this. The next time I have tests run, it’ll be to see if I’m ready for surgery. Not to see if the treatment is working. These are the last progress tests. And, historically, I haven’t had much luck with those. The first round of tests with Helen showed that my cancer was more aggressive than my doctor back in Salt Lake thought. Then there were the tests before you left for that week of interviews when we found out it was even more aggressive than we thought because it hadn’t shrunk any. Then—”

“Hey, baby, baby.” Sebastian cut off your recap of bad luck. “I know. I know there’s only really been one round of tests that didn’t give you bad results. Trust me, I know how scary this is. I’m fuckin’ terrified too.”

In a soft, meek voice you asked, “You are?”

“I am. I don’t want to lose you, and there’s nothing I can do at all to change the outcome of any of this. God, I wish I was with you right now.”

I don’t want to lose you.

That was the first time he’d said anything about seeing a future with you, besides a few offhanded comments about next year. Sure, it was a loose interpretation, and it was something people said at times like these, but it still made your heart calm down a bit.

“I wish you were here too,” you admitted quietly. Something about hearing him admit that he was scared calmed your nerves. “Can… can I call you and put you on speaker when I meet with Dr. Chowdhury? I know it won’t be the same as you holding my hand but…”

“Yes, please. I was about to ask that, actually.”

Relief flowed through your body. “Thank you, honey. I didn’t want to go through alone. I’m glad you had a short day today.”

“Mmhmm.” He agreed.

“Anyway, I should probably let you go for now. Go grab some food and head back to your room.”

“You sure? I can stay on with you. I can multitask.”

A smile forced itself onto your face at his offer. “I know. And I appreciate the offer, but I’m coming down from that little panic attack and I think I’m going to fall asleep. So you get your food and I’m going to take a nap while this machine keeps pumping toxic chemicals into my body. I’ll talk to you in an hour and a half.”

Your leg was bouncing faster than your heart was beating. Or was it the other way around?

Either way, you were nervous as hell.

“So, to be on track the tumor has to have shrunk at least twenty percent, right?” You asked Dr. Chowdhury as he looked through your file. “That’s what you said when we changed the treatment. Twenty percent by now, and another fifteen percent before surgery?”

He nodded. “That is correct. Dr. Abara agreed that if your tumor shrinks at least thirty-five percent since your previous scans, your chances at having a successful surgery are much higher than if it does not shrink that much. Considering how you have reacted to the treatment thus far, twenty percent is a fair amount.”

You blew out a long breath and heard Sebastian shifting on the other end of the phone.

“So?” you asked Dr. Chowdhury, gripping your phone so tightly you were scared it might break. “Where am I at?”

“Your scans show that the tumor is twenty-five percent smaller than it was at Thanksgiving.”

He was smiling at you and Sebastian was saying something, but your brain couldn’t process the news that quickly.

Twenty-five percent? More than anticipated? Good news?

“That’s… that’s good news, right?”

A short bark of relieved laughter came through the phone speaker from Sebastian as Dr. Chowdhury nodded. “Very good news.”

“Holy shit.”

You could hardly believe it.

Good News!!! And I would apologize for ranting about The Magicians, but I had EMOTIONS that needed a VOICE and this was the time and place, apparently. Anyway, I was rereading this and saw the line about being able to go to bars and shit in January and just laughed a bit. Ah, the world before COVID. I miss those times. So, do you guys think the treatment is going to continue to work? You think the surgery will happen? And if it does... what happens after Are they gonna stay married?

CHAPTER 24: THE AIRPORT

#sebastian x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader fluff #sebastian stan x reader fluff #sebastian x you #sebastian stan x you #marvel fanfic

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