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#shit and wrecking the place you guys don’t stand for anything and you allow others to trample over your own people
tariah23 · 1 month
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Now he’s trying to lie when he literally tagged Princeton like 5 fucking time. White people are so evil, bro. They always know what they’re doing when they do shit like that. With the attempt to bring harm to Black people who they want to “get out of the way,” because they don’t think that we belong in the same spaces as them while at the same time, believing they should be allowed INTO our spaces and afforded hospitality and a whole red carpet rolled out. The sad thing is, she has connections to the industry because of her uncle and name so what if this was just a random Black woman who worked for Princeton without this kind of protection at all…?
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#I’m glad that she’s alright though#why is he trying to dumb down what he intended by saying that ‘she was trolling so I trolled back’ like she like many other black people#are always dead serious when we tell whites and nbs to stay out of black folks business#simply put#he just got offended since a black woman told him to stay in his own lane#he dumb ass didn’t even know who she was even though he’d interviewed her family multiple times before#a Russian making millions off of black culture what a joke#black people gotta be tired of being used#one day man#the sad thing is of course black men hate black women sm that they were defending vlad on his behalf (not surprised lol)#and I saw other black women being pick me’s going on about ‘what makes her SO much more special than other black people-‘ like are you….#do you bitches have rocks for brains or… these same people are the reasons why nbs and whites will always feel comfortable coming into our#shit and wrecking the place you guys don’t stand for anything and you allow others to trample over your own people#stand up one day#the sad thing is#ppl are still gonna go onto his platform to allow him to interview them and make money off of their name#this is one of the first times that I’ve seen black people really get in vlad’s ass though because what he tried to do to this black woman#was absolutely vile and this is the kind of shit that gets black people killed and put into bad positions#fucking loser#rambling
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agentsnickers · 1 year
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"You know, you could have just found a place with three bedrooms."
"This made sense for a lot of reasons," Benny says, refusing to be startled by Les even though the kid has once again managed to catch him by surprise.
They're all still getting used to having Les in the house, Les included. He moved into their living room for the beginning of the school year, and Benny is still regularly surprised to find him around.
"I'm just saying, you didn't have to go all fifties sitcom couple about it," Les says. "What's your deal with David, anyway?"
"What do you mean, kid?" asks Benny. Les wrinkles his nose at the nickname, but doesn't protest. It's one of those things he fusses about if anybody but David - or, increasingly, Benny - uses.
"Well, like," Les says. He pauses to flop somewhat dramatically across his favorite armchair. “You’re raising his baby with him.”
“Oh,” says Benny. “That.”
“I know you guys aren’t involved,” says Les. He tips his head to one side, reconsidering. “I know you guys aren’t involved romantically. God knows you’re very involved in other ways.”
“I love him too much to let him do all this on his own,” Benny says. He trusts Les to take that how he means it. “And if Katie doesn’t want to do her part, I will.”
“Lots of people wouldn’t,” Les says.
“Well, I’m not lots of people.”
“I know,” says Les. He gives a vague little wave. “I don’t know how to articulate what I’m trying to say.”
“I can’t answer your question if you don’t ask it,” Benny points out.
Les sticks his tongue out. “You moved cities for him, but your relationship isn’t romantic. Why?”
“Because he was a fucking wreck and would have cut me out of his life if I didn’t,” Benny says bluntly. “If you’re asking why it isn’t romantic, it’s because I don’t do romance and David is, again, a little fucked up about that stuff.”
“And you share a bedroom in a two bed apartment because –“
“It was more affordable than a three-bed and Sean and Tony are childhood friends of mine,” says Benny.
Les doesn’t say anything else, just sits with his knee pulled all the way up to his chest on the chair.
“What’s really up, Les?” Benny asks.  
“Just Mom again,” says Les.
Lately, that could mean anything. Les is just back from lunch with his parents, which they’d wanted David and Leah for as well (not Benny), but neglected to ask whether David and Leah were available and scheduled it smack in the middle of Leah’s baby dance class.
“You know how she is,” Les continues.  “I’m wasting valuable opportunities by living here, David’s never going to find a girl if he’s sharing a room with his friend, why can’t we both just be more like Sarah, the usual.”
Benny laughs. “For what it’s worth, Les, I think you’re at least as well-adjusted as Sarah.”
“You and Dave are good for each other,” Les says. “I don’t know how our parents haven’t noticed. I don’t give a shit what they think of me living here, but it made me so mad to listen to how they talked about you. Especially since they go on and on about how Sarah found such a perfect girl and I’m not allowed to tell them what Katie did.”
“I don’t need your parents’ approval, Les,” says Benny.
“I know,” Les says. “But it still pissed me off. Good thing Lydia and Mark are decent people; at least Leah has one set of grandparents that have your backs.”
“You’re a good kid, Lessy,” Benny says. He stands up, patting Les on the shoulder as he passes him on his way to the kitchen. “Now, valiant defender who pays no rent to live in my house, come help me get dinner started before Daves and Lee get home.”
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books-and-catears · 3 years
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Hey, Hey, Hey! It’s been a minute but I didn’t wanna spam ya with requests while you have life stuff to deal with ☺️
This is similar to my Savage!MC ask but the brothers reacting to MC snapping at them and defending Mammon before calling the brothers out whenever they go too hard on him. Let’s be real, Mammon just acts on his sin and gets punished but when Lucifer’s a prick and threatens MC; crickets.
When Beel eats everything and damn near causes everyone to starve as well as threw a tantrum and nearly injured MC over custard;everyone turns a blind eye.
Levi guilt trips and whine over the smallest things but says the worst insults to Mammon and tried to kill MC over TSL.
Asmo acts like he’s above everyone and prefers to tend to his looks than help others (such as during the castle tour) but he gets no scolding.
Belphie routinely harasses Luci with Satan (who loses his temper) AND they all either threatened/killed MC but should Mammon do anything, he’s the worst. Even though Mammon:
- Never threatened MC
- Does shit for his brothers when asked (he may joke of needing a grimm but he’s an Avatar of greed and still gets the job done)
- Is very loyal to them
- And is a good brother to take falls for them. He knows how to sacrifice for them and the slightest inconvenience gets him thrown under the bus
These guys ain’t shit and I wouldn’t wanna be around them until they learn how to treat him better and equally work on their flaws rather than rip on Mammon, who’s a whole ass victim despite being the second strongest brother who takes it because he genuinely loves his brothers yet gets shit on by them so much.
Ooh this savage MC has nothing but heart eyes for Mammon and it's adorable. Right this one is going to be angsty and it's going to sting. I'm doing this in a short story instead of a headcannon cause it just seems right that way. Hope that's okay?
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It was just another one of those days Mammon tried to steal his brothers stuff and sell it again. Another day of being upside down and being laughed at. Normally he wouldn't care - it was the usual routine. But something seemed off this time.
"Mammon.. are you okay?" You approach him. He was rubbing his shoulders and arms as if to comfort the pain. He looked more tired and pained than usual.
"Ah I'm alright MC. Just the same old ya know?" He laughed. It sounded hollow yet it pierced your heart.
Enough. Enough of this. You weren't going to stand by and watch this happen again.
"You should rest." You place an arm on his shoulder and take him to his room. Making sure he's asleep, you leave. You have some problematic demons to deal with it.
"Ah MC? What brings you here? You seem rather disturbed." He asks as you storm into his study, fuming with anger.
"You tell me, you sadistic peacock." You had lost all sense of self-preservation and normalcy. Just echoing the rage in your brain.
"Excuse me?" Lucifer said, half-amused, half-shocked.
"Either you stop treating Mammon this way or I will make your life hell." You grit your teeth.
"I already have my brothers doing that what more will you do MC? Besides Mammon had it coming. He went stealing Levi's and Asmo's things again." Lucifer said nonchalantly.
"What do expect from the Avatar of Greed? He's just acting how he's cursed to. Just like the rest of you, nicompoops. Stop listening through the door and come inside." You said loudly.
The other brothers were still in the corridor nearby overhearing the whole thing. You could hear them gasp loudly at your boldness and scutter inside one by one.
"Now let me elaborate, so you rotten cucumbers understand me clearly." You cleared your throat.
Leviathan
"This little snake in tried to kill me because I may have known a little bit more about his favourite anime than him. Where's his punishment?" You point at Levi.
"MC I'm sorry...I couldn't help it was too new to me." Levi started. "But Mammon keeps stealing my things how is that fair-"
"And you keep throwing us into new kinds of disasters with your game hoarding problem."
"If you're still mad about the TSL incident I swear I take it all back-"
"Shut up snake, we know the reason. You're the Avatar of Envy. Getting jealous is your whole point. So you didn't get punished. Moving on..." Your finger now points to Satan. "This wild cat."
Satan
"He also threatened me cause I didn't want to make a pact with him. And when he actually flies off his handle, he wrecks his room and half the house down."
Satan seemed like he wanted to say something but he scowled and looked away.
"However I won't be too hard on him, cause he tries to keep his thing in check. And the whole reason he even has Wrath is because of Lucifer. So I get your hate towards Lucifer, but Mammon doesn't deserve any of it."
"MC you know I can't tolerate stupidity-" He grumbled.
"Oh must be hard looking in the mirror then, with all your failed pranks. And speaking of mirrors, this over- perfumed mannequin." You turn to Asmo.
Asmodeus
"How have I possibly hurt anyone MC? You know I stand for Love too right?" Asmo said, batting his pretty little eyes.
"For someone who stands for LOVE, if you can even call it that," You make a disgusted face, "You surely love making a mockery out of your elder brother and revel in his misery, you over- perfumed potato."
"But I never cause problems do I? Why must I be punished just for standing by?"
"Your high and mighty sense of worth is an illusion you live in. You dress up pretty and act social to validate yourself, trying to conceal the ugliness within. Truly you are nothing but Lust. Also you're the reason we almost got eaten by a giant snake." You shake your head. "Now speaking of eating..."
Beelzebub
"This giant food vaccum." You point to Beel. "He tried to eat me over a custard. Like excuse me? There's still plenty of food outside? And let's not forget that week we all had to eat cup ramen for a week cause he finished the whole pantry."
Beel softly muttered and apology and looked down.
"He even ate the walls and pillars once! Surely those renovations cost way more than however much Mammon steals? Where's his punishment?!"
"MC enough. He's sorry already." Beel's twin spoke up. You glared at him and smiled. "Don't worry I saved the best for last."
Belphegor
"This lazy murderous cow." You walk up to him slowly. "Not only does everyone have to your chores - you love causing chaos."
Belphie laughed, "That I do. But that's only with Lucifer. What else did I do?"
"Oh you want me to go there? I surely will." You say with a sting in your eye. "In your plan to avenge your sister, you killed what was left of her in the first timeline. And your brothers just stood by and watched. Where's your penance, you murder hornet?"
Belphie's eyes grew wide. Everyone looked shocked and uncomfortable. You never brought this up before now.
"But why bother asking you about it. I should be asking the ultimate punisher of this family." You turn to Lucifer.
Lucifer
"Ah! If it isn't Diavolo's pet dog! How is your master today? Does he treat you the way you treat Mammon? Is that why you come here to take your revenge on your little brother instead? Tell me Lucifer does Diavolo punish you then?"
"MC, I understand you maybe upset but you are crossing a line here." Lucifer stood up with a gutteral growl.
"Sit doggie. I didn't ask for you yet." You commanded. Lucifer sat back down as with great force. He stared at you flummoxed.
"Did you forget about the pacts already, you pompous goat? You have threatened and tried to kill me more than anyone else in this family so congratulations! I will use my pacts way more generously now." You mock bowed in gratitude.
"You might win in a fight against him but let me tell you this..." You stared back at the others.
"Mammon is the second strongest in this family. If he wanted to - if he REALLY wanted to, all of you would be turned to dust. He is stronger than all of you - but he hides it. He supresses his powers and his anger because he loves you too much. How could he ever hurt his little brothers?" You felt tears in your eyes at this point.
"AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM? He's only acting on his sin! Just like the rest of you! Why must he be singled out and mocked at? I won't allow it. Never again."
"If you hurt Mammon again, I swear you will have to face me. And before you think you have a chance against me, do remember the pacts you all happily made with me I will not hesitate to use them against you dysfunctional lot-"
"MC... Stop." You felt Mammon hug you from behind.
"Mammon? I thought you were asleep." You say looking back at him. His tears were misty but his smile more full.
"And I thought I was supposed to protect ya, human! And you're out here protecting me..." Mammon trailed off and held you closer.
"We can protect each other."
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bonny-kookoo · 4 years
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👹Bad Habits (JJK x Reader) 💜☁️🔞
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👹Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader
👹Genre: (Twisted)Romance, Angst, Smut, Psycho!JK
👹Warnings: Size kink, Body worship, biting, rough manhandling, JK accidentally hurts her a bit (but apologizes dw), mildly disturbing themes (blood, guts, bones cracking...), criminal activities such as theft (mentioned) and murder (not actively stated, but heavily implied), panic attack, psychotic episodes, psycho!JK because holy shit I actually got scared what did I create, degrading names (he calls her a whore in his mind like once..), possessive JK, strength kink, reader is unable to conceive (chances are very slim), unprotected sex (please wrap it before you tap it folks), impreg kink, dead dove do not eat 🕊 manipulative Koo, Dom!Kook, therapy talk, relapses, horrible anger management, emotional koo, emotional reader, look mom I actually wrote a happy ending
👹Summary: Oh monster monster under my bed, you’re the only one I have left, come out and play ‘cause I need a friend.
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Jeon Jungkook is sick.
You know this, you are very aware of it if the very much still gaping holes in the walls of your apartment, left from his most recent violent episode is anything to go by. He's got anger issues, that much is very apparent to anyone who genuinely knows Jungkook. Somehow he just can't keep himself in check, it's like he just needs the perfect trigger to simply go off like a bomb dropped from ten feet. It doesn't take much to rile him up. It takes a lot however to get him back down again.
Now, this would be the perfect moment to explain that you are the sweet and kind ray of sunlight calming his temper and cooling his ever violently burning mind- but that's not the case. There's nothing that can tame the young man at your side, nothing that can snap that collar around his neck and chain him up to a wall until he's safe to be around again. You can't do anything more than watch and pray that he will keep his promise to never ever hurt you. At first, you were worried. Anyone would be.
But then the first outbreak came.
Then the second.
And you were fine.
He would wreck the apartment, throw furniture, or beat someone to a bloody mess in an alleyway next to a nightclub simply because the guy had looked at your admittedly short skirt the wrong way. While for the longest time he didn't care about anyone, you've become his possession, in every way that the word stands. He owns you, every single cell of your being is his, and he's ready to push anyone's eyes back into their skull just for looking at you weirdly. No one is allowed to lust after you but him. No one's allowed to even think about you but him.
It's quite bittersweet, the reasoning behind his obsession with you. You're not scared, you're never running away, you're always so gentle, so delicate, such an angel around him- and in one way he fears that one day he's gonna be the wolf eating the sheep in a frenzy. In the other however, he's weirdly amused by it; the way you still look at him so innocently as if you didn't know that his hands could snap your neck like a twig between his combat boots he's typically sporting. It's a very twisted story with you two, and in a sense, he's certain that you have to be just as sick in your head as he is for genuinely loving him and his bad habits.
Just like now.
You're not saying anything. Even when you can hear the young mans ribs cracking underneath the steel toed black boots of your boyfriend, you're quiet, watching, unable to tear your eyes away from him- and you don't even know who exactly you're watching. You have already forgotten what the young man looked like- your eyes unable to reconstruct his facial features back to what they were before Jungkook had thrown his fists into them until the stranger couldn't even open his eyes anymore, face bloody and bruised to the point where you're hoping he won't survive it. You're also simply watching as Jungkooks pretty long hair, drenched in a mixture of sweat and rain from above whips around violently as if to mimic the way his muscled leg stomps into the man's chest over an over again, face holding a determination that should scare you. It's all over after a moment however, as your boyfriend seems to grow a bit tired now, slowly calming down as his anger ebbs down, waves finally evening as he breathes heavily. He runs a hand through his hair as he looks at what's in front of his feet; unable to quite realize that this was actually him. He turns, looking for you, and his entire facial expression suddenly changes.
While he looked absolutely terrifying just moments before, he's suddenly holding such a sweet and calm glint in his eyes as he takes off his jacket, putting it over your head as he smiles down at you, inner demon now fed again as it seems to crawl back behind his actual soul it consumes daily. You smile back, and he leads you out of the alley, giggling like a teenager when you playfully start to run towards the car, calling him a sore looser when he doesn't let you win like he usually does.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's just a young man as well, deep down.
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He's got you sat on his lap as he greedily licks at your neck, teeth suddenly clamping down on the skin as you mewl underneath his touch and actions. He's grinning like the devil in person, his large-in-comparison palms holding your behind as they suddenly sneak underneath your shirt; his shirt, actually, and the main reason he suddenly got hungry to devour you. Your hair is still slightly damp, but he doesn't care as he lifts you up, placing you underneath him on your shared bed, hair falling into his eyes as he pulls the dark grey carharrt shirt over your head, immediately kissing your collarbone, hands kneading your breasts needily as he seems too eager to slow down anytime soon. He grabs your ribs and its as if he doesn't know where to touch- he wants it all, wants to feel it all, all at once, because it drowns out all the bad things he usually does. You're an outlet for his pent up aggression, only that he lets loose differently with you. He's got no hunger to make you suffer, to give you pain or to have you look at him in fear. No, he simply craves the way you writhe underneath him, ready for him, wanting, needing him. Such an angel, such a whore, so needy for his love and affection.
Something he wasn't sure he was capable of.
But he is, and it shows; while he usually moves with his jaw clenched, his brows furrowed, ever so agitated by the simplest of things, his face is calm now, relaxed, eyes however still feral- his gaze enough to make your core ache and your skin tingle. He's chuckling as he moves you around, suddenly impatient as he noticed your panties won't leave your legs as fast as he wants them to. It irritates him to the point where he just rips them as the seams, the fabric now ruined, but neither of you care as his hand instantly finds its way down to cup your heat, ring- and middle finger collecting your slick to bring it upwards to your clit, thumb running in circles over it as you squirm and whine, making him smile.
You're so sweet like this, and he can't help but move your legs, pulling you closer to him in his usual rough manner- he's not capable of being all gentle and sweet, after all. He tries, he really does, but Jungkook is like an overgrown puppy; he doesn't know how much strength he actually has. And it shows, as you squeak, painfully so, as he had gripped your legs a bit too tightly; fingerprints already an angry red on your skin, and he cooes at you, apologizing. "I'm sorry, so sorry.." He hushes against your skin, placing sweet kisses on the pulsing marks on your leg. "can't help it baby.." He muses, and you simply nod your head, hands reaching out for him as he smiles again, kissing your lips, finally.
He's never been fond of the gesture before, not understanding why something as unsanitary as this could be meant to signify any romance at all. But eventually he's gotten to know the intimacy of it, and had decided for himself that he'll never kiss anyone but you in his life. He doesn't want anyone but you anyways. You're his, for now, and forever.
"You're so sweet angel, you know that?"
He humms it against your neck as he finally rids himself of his own clothes, erection hard and proudly waiting to bury itself into your sweet cunt. "Hmm.." He humms again, amusement in his voice as he continues to draw patterns over your sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs. "I still can't believe how I fit inside that pretty body of yours." He says, as you suddenly feel the hot skin of his length against your middle. "Can't believe you can take it so well princess." His hand leaves your core finally, as he slowly enters you, making you mewl as he groans.
He doesn't have much self-restraint, but every time you're together like this, you're both amazed by how much he can control himself. The way he plays you like an expensive instrument makes you hang from his hands like a puppet on its strings. And you love it- the simple fact that he's able to do anything he wants with you, yet he'd never use you just to throw you away. He'd never hurt you. You know this.
He grins as he places his hand over the slight bulge forming underneath your skin where his cock is moving inside you, all warm and swollen, impatient as he can't help but move more vigorously, harder than before, as your body moves along with the beat he's giving you. He's in control, its impossible to lie about that and you don't see any problem with that. Your mind is empty, only pleasure remains as he bites down onto your skin again, hands roaming as if they can't decide where they want to stay; because it's the truth after all. He can't decide what he loves most about you, if your body is whats the most desirable or if its your soul locked inside of it and chained to his own like a prisoner. He gets a kick out of this feeling, out of the way you're speared on his cock like the doll you are, and if he desired to, he could simply snap your bones like those pepero snacks you always eat, and it would be just as sweet as they taste. Yet he doesn't- he's being oh so generous with you, letting you live beside him, keeping you as safe as he could at his side, never to let anything come close to you. You're his.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's also head over heels in love with you.
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You don't know what it was this time.
You only know that he's currently in your shared apartment, having returned from Job hunting, and by the sounds of crashing glass, he's probably having another one of those days. You know you should just leave him, but ever so often your own curiosity gets the best of you, and you sit up on the bed, dressed in nothing but a shirt, your panties, and socks to keep your feet warm, since the heating in your apartment broke months ago. You carefully open the bedroom door, peaking around the wood to spot him as he currently kicks his shoes off in an ever so violent manner. He spots you, eyes dark and feral, but this time it's not lust in them. "Get back inside." He barks out, and you know why he does it.
He wants to keep you safe.
Against all odds he knows what he is. He knows he's sick, knows he's a danger to himself and others, and that's why he's always telling you to stay away from him whenever his anger is boiling over like this. It's his way of keeping you safe, keeping you protected and you know better than to go against his own judgement. He knows himself best, after all.
Only as you can hear him hiss in pain do you go against him.
As the apartment grows quiet, you slowly step outside the room again, eyes searching for the form of your boyfriend, before finally spotting him near the kitchen table, one hand on it, while the other is held close to his chest. You can see blood on the white cracked tiled floor close to him, and you immediately grow worried for him. You slowly creep inside the bathroom, retrieving some stuff from the first aid kit, as you walk back outside, spotting him on the couch now. "..kookie?" You carefully ask, wary of any signs of his body that he's not yet down to earth yet. But he doesn't move at all. You slowly walk around the couch, squatting down in front of him as your hands carefully reach out for his inked arm, and he lets you, his eyes eerily not looking at anything at all. You hiss a bit and sit down on his lap as he doesn't argue with you, almost delicately treating his wounded skin. He's probably somehow cut himself on the broken glass from the photo frame he broke. He seems awfully exhausted, which isn't a new sight to you. He usually is after a day like that.
"We're gonna loose the apartment." He says darkly, yet you don't stop what you're doing, simply humming an acknowledgement at him, while you don't look up at him. "Are you even listening?!" He suddenly barks out, grabbing your wrists as you look at him; not in fear however. You simply wait for him, like you always do, until he suddenly looks down onto his hands, letting go of your now red wrists with a look on his face like his favorite puppy has just been killed. "They simply said because of my criminal record they can't employ me-" He began, already getting riled up again as you kissed his cheek to distract him before he could slip again. With you situated on his lap like that, it could prove fatal.
"I'm gonna get a job, from home maybe. We'll figure things out." You softly say, and he doesn't seem like he quite believes you. He doesn't need to, at least not yet. It takes time, but you'll take yourself the time you need, even if its someone else's. Its not like he ever really cared about whats who's after all. "I still love you, you know?" You say, and that's when he breaks.
For the first time in those years you know him, he falls to the ground, crashes onto concrete with full force, and it wrecks through his entire body as he pulls you close, sobbing into your neck as he hiccups and chokes on his emotions, his hug painfully tight, but you don't complain. You're too shocked by his state to react much, other than running a hand over his back in a hopefully soothing manner. He doesn't stop for a moment, and you don't have a good feeling for time, so you cant tell how long you both sit like this, until he's finally exhausted to the point of simple slumping down, asleep as his body finally gives up. You carefully stand up, letting him somehow softly fall to his side as you struggle to pull his legs up to properly lay o the couch. Walking into the bedroom you retrieve blankets for him and yourself, as you crawl underneath his arm to lay against his chest, underneath the blankets, as you try and think of a way to help him.
You can't get a job. Not only because he won't let you, but because you get sick too easily. You're not allowed by doctors advice to work in any field that requires direct customer contact- and sadly that's all your educational level would allow you to work in. It never bothered Jungkook however, if anything he welcomed it as a good reason for you to stay at home, and at his side at all times. For him however, there were different reasons he didn't have a job. He couldn't keep one, with his short temper making him unfit for any job that required him to handle other people. He was a bomb ready to explode any moment at all times, and it was hard for him to land a job at any interview he somehow got. And nowadays, as word got around, no one simply wanted to employ him; stories of him going off at complaints and always being ready to throw hands made him the talk of the town in terms of who to look out for. He also had a criminal record- which didn't make the situation any easier.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. And it's a serious issue.
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You somehow made it another month concerning rent.
With you selling some clothing you made yourself for a reasonable price, you somehow had at least a bit of an income, yet Jungkook didn't really seem like himself these days. He didn't leave the apartment much, and seemed much more grim to everything around him. You somehow thought that maybe he was just in a bad mood- but it seemed like this time things were a bit more serious than that.
"Princess?" He calls, as you rub your hand over the side of your neck, having laid on the couch weirdly as you had been taking a nap recently. You perked up at his call, walking out of the open kitchen to meet his gaze in the living room, his eyes serious as he pats his thighs; an invitation for you to sit down. He likes having you seated on his lap like this; it makes him feel all comfortable, knowing that you're so close to him. "I.." He starts, and visibly struggles with finding the right words for what he wants to say. "I want to get therapy." He states, and its quiet for a moment. You need to process his words for a second, as he never spoke about his issues like this. You never really thought about this option at all, and it makes you feel bad, deep inside, as you now realize that this was something you should've thought about as well, from the start on maybe. But you never wanted him to change for you; making you kick yourself in your thoughts. It never occurred to you that he wasn't changing for you, he didn't need to change for you, he needed to change for himself as well. You simply started to smile, and your arms snaked around his neck as he breathed in your scent, happy that you take this so well. He had struggled with the acceptance of it for a long time, and with you at his side, he knows he can somehow maybe change.
Even if its just a bit.
"I want to be a better man. For me, and mostly for you." He starts, and you attempt to speak, but he smiles, and kisses you instead, successfully shutting you up. "Don't say I don't need to. We know I do." He explains, and you nod. You're curious on why he suddenly realized it, but you decide not to dig too deep, as he currently seems vulnerable enough to you. So you simply let him hold you like this, quietly, calmly, while outside the thunderstorm continues, rain hitting the windows with as much force as the wind sees fit. Its ironic, really. Typically the situation is the opposite.
But somehow it feels like everything is changing, right in that moment. Just a few words have been spoken, but the ones that did make it out were a promise, a vow, a sentence of hope to finally get a hold on the future you both had dreamed about before, tangled in sheets and each others limbs. He's always said he wanted a family, as cheesy as it sounded to him back then, and then he'd laughed about it as if it was a joke. It somehow was, at least during that time it was; how could he be a better father than his if he was just the same? He didn't want his story to take a turn like that, to end up hurting you in the process of his own selfishness just to get what he wanted. No, he wanted something different in his life; he wanted his children to look up to him as a person they could be in awe of not because they were scared, but because they were proud to have them.
Jeon Jungkook is sick. But he's also finally realizing it.
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Therapy never goes smoothly from A to point B. It's never a smooth ride, never a straight line connecting the start to the goal. And Jungkook is feeling that as he walks through the door, fuming after an in his eyes pointless session with his therapist. Why the fuck would they want to know about his childhood? That's his business and his own only, it doesn't concern anyone other than himself. Hell, he never even talked to you about it- and he sure as hell won't start chatting away with a stranger like this. He can't control himself as his fist connects with the wall next to the door, drywall cracking underneath the force as you stand in the middle of the living room, looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights. He's disappointed in himself in that moment; he was supposed to get better. He was supposed to have himself in check by now, it was supposed to end; yet here he is, just the same as a month before he started. You try and walk towards him, and he's ready to tell you to turn around and leave him alone, but he doesn't. For some reason, this is not pure anger he's feeling.
It's frustration.
And it leads to his eyes watering, as he lets you hold him close, your warm palms running over his back as best as you can with the height difference, and he simply lets his forehead rest on your shoulder, breathing while you softly count next to his ear. He concentrates and lets go of his emotions all at once, taking his time to feel them before he opens his mind up to letting them go. It sounded stupid to him when he was told that this could help him, but now that he's doing it, he gets why its being taught. It helps. Its like a bandaid being taken off after your cut has heeled. It hurts a bit as its being taken off, but the fresh air on the newly connected skin feels so good that the short sting before is more than worth it.
He sniffles, and you giggle, making him chuckle as well, as he runs a hand over your head, a silent sign that he's okay now. "Try again next week. You're doing so great now, Kookie." You say, and its this small encouragmenent that makes him grin brightly.
Because as you both stand in the kitchen, making homemade pizza for the first time in ages, he feels at ease with his surroundings. He calms down rather quickly even though some things don't go as planned, and laughs more freely at his own mistakes as you smile brightly at him. Sometimes you feel like crying, seeing him change like this, but you're strong enough to hold it in until he leaves during the day. You're still unsure how the future will be changing, still a lot unknown to the both of you, but for now, you'll continue to keep each others heads above the waves with your sewing, while he does his best at getting better. You know he can make it, you're certain he can, and will.
Because Jungkook is sick. But he's finally getting help.
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You don't know what has happened when he bursts through the door, uncaring to either take off his shoes nor to close it behind him, as he picks you up, spins you around, grinning so much his eyes crinkle at their sides, and you laugh, even though you don't know why he's so happy. "I got a job! Baby, I finally got a job!" He yells, screams almost, and it makes your eyes water; not because he's taking a huge weight off your shoulder, but because this has been one of his biggest goals ever since he started this journey of getting help. He's so happy about it that this time you can't keep it in, you can't stop the tears as they flow out, making you hiccup and wheep into his shoulder as you struggle to get your words out. "Baby- Princess, hey hey-" He says, setting you down as his hands wipe away at your eyes, the letter confirming his acceptance still in his left hand as he worriedly looks at you. "Why are you crying angel? hm?" He cooes, admittedly a bit amused, because he can imagine what's happening.
"I'm so happy!" You squeeze out, before another wave hits you, and he kneels down, holding you tightly again, as he doesn't let go of you, his love for you overflowing inside his veins as it fills his entire body. He's so thankful for your existence in his life, and he will never be truly able to properly tell you that. It's impossible to put it into his words how much he appreciates you staying at his side through this entire endeavor. Every time he's asked why he does this, his answer is always your name on his lips, always spoken with a slight smile, nowadays a bright grin he's not ashamed showing.
You don't let him go until he chuckles. "Will you let me close the door at least?" He asks amused, as he feels the slightly cool breeze coming inside from the complex' hallway. You disconnect yourself from him for a moment, wiping your eyes with your sleeve as he closes the door, finally taking off his shoes at last, as he walks back, running towards you with a playful growl that makes you laugh as you try and run away from him. But he catches you easily, carrying you over his shoulder into the bedroom, where he bites and licks at your neck, hands pinching your sides making you squirm around and laugh, desperately trying to get away from him. He'll never let you, and you know this, so its unsurprising that he's suddenly pulling your sweater over your head, needing to be close to you. It's cold inside the apartment, and you shiver as the almost icy air around you nips at your skin. "Can't wait until we can use the heating again.." He murmurs against your skin as he shifts around a bit, carefully undressing himself before he crawls underneath the heavy covers with you. "then you can flaunt around in your pretty underwear all day without getting cold." He chuckles, as you hit his chest playfully at the remark. "What? Its always so cold I never get to see you in it." He whines, as he reaches between your legs, inked hand easily working you up as you squirm around. "I never get to see your pretty body properly because we have to hide away like this." He complains, and you simply whine at him, as he suddenly enters you. "For now I'll just warm you up like this, hm?" He humms out, and you nod, not really understanding what you're agreeing to, but you do it anyways.
He's awfully slow and soft, you notice, as he' way more collected as usual. "I love this." He suddenly presses out, eyes closed in bliss as he kisses the side if your neck, trailing down to nip at your collarbone, while his hands find yours, intertwining your fingers in a gesture you can only describe as awfully romantic. "I love being able to make love to you." He explains, as you open your eyes a bit, meeting his as he watches you underneath him. "Though I think you don't mind me being a bit rough with you, no?" He playfully suggests, and your cheeks grow a bit red at that, before he laughs, head dipping down to properly kiss your lips, tongue instantly searching for entrance as he doesn't pick up the pace. "Can't wait until you're all round with my baby." He suddenly suggests, and your eyes open wide as you open your mouth to correct him, but you shut up as his eyes meet yours, determination in them as he suddenly grabs the behind of your thighs, positioning them a bit differently to hit even deeper. "I know, I know-" He chants, as he picks up his pace. "I don't care." He presses out between his own heavy breaths. "I'll just-" He begins, loving the way you mewl under his touch, "I'll just fuck you over and over again until it works." He promises, and you simply nod, unable to deny him. The chances you'll ever conceive are slim- but as he states, never zero. "I'll just- I'll just fill you up until your body can't help but give me a child." He muses, as you start to clench. And he knows, notices, how much this idea is just as enticing to you as it is to him. "You gonna cum? Hm?" He asks, and you nod vigorously before you arch your back off the mattress, making him groan as he shoots his load as well, the visual image of your pleasure underneath him combined with the way you clench his aching length inside granting him his release as well.
As you lay on your sides, all snuggled up underneath the covers after cleaning up, he kisses your bare shoulder, eyes closed. "I mean it, you know." He says, and you humm a reply, before he explains further. "I want a family with you. Someday. When I'm ready." He says, and you nod. You'll somehow make it work, you know this. If he can overcome his demons, you can overcome your own cursed body as well. You deeply hope, at least.
Because Jeon Jungkook is sick, but he's starting to see a future.
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"Jeon!" His coworker yells in the big hall he's working in. "Why, pray tell, did you never tell us your girl is that fucking pretty, aye?" He barks in a playful manner, as you walk inside beside the old man, carrying a small plastic bag with what he assumes is a lunchbox. The view of you next to that man stirs something inside him, as he slowly gets up, wrench still in his hand, brows furrowed.
"Because your filthy hands should stay six feet away from her." He responds, with his brows still furrowed, before he finally sneezes.
"Bless you, hah! I'll let you have your break earlier-" The old man winks at you, then gives Jungkook a firm hit against the chest, taking the wrench away from him. "But only because she's cute!" He laughs, as he walks into the hall, Jungkook now walking towards you.
You're proud of him.
Months ago, this would've never been possible; neither the simple fact that he had a job, nor the small incident with his coworker just now. He still got easily irritated, but he worked through these emotions way more easy nowadays. His coworkers and boss know of his past, know what he was like and know that he's still deep in therapy, but they don't judge. They simply accept him, tame him back into his cage whenever he's close to boiling over again. You love the fact that you can walk inside the breakroom with him, eyes sparkling with newfound childish playfulness as he peaks inside the bag you brought him. He's still very careful with you leaving the house, but its not anymore just for his own gain- he's more open to his surroundings, he's starting to think about how he and his actions can affect others. He doesn't care much still; but he's realized that pretending is enough for now. Small steps.
"The handyman was there today." You say, as you watch him dig into the fried rice you brought him, his interest now gained. "They turned on the heating again. Can you imagine? I didn't even know we had floorboard heating!" You exclaimed excitedly, and Jungkooks eyes widen as well.
"Really? I didn't know either. Fuck, can't wait to come home now." He says, swallowing his bite before taking a sip of his canned soda. "Did that label contact you yet?" He asks, and you shake your head. Recently, you had gained the interest of a bigger clothing label, who wanted to collaborate with you for this season's designs. "Ah, that takes time I guess. We'll wait, its fine." You know he's not only saying that for you, but himself as well. He still gets agitated over small things, but he deals with them a bit more easily. "I'll be home in a couple hours. Do you wanna wait here, or go home?" He asks, and you stand up, packing his now empty food container as you smile.
"I'll take the bus, don't worry." You say, and he furrows his brows playfully.
"Mask?" He asks, and you hold it up proudly, well aware of the precautions you need to take to make public transport safe for you.
"Good girl. Text me when you're home yeah? I'll get us takeout for dinner." He says, as he kisses the top of your head. You nod, and wave him goodbye as you two go separate ways, at least for now, until he's finally free of work.
Jeon Jungkook is sick.
But he's slowly healing.
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2K notes · View notes
morsartis · 3 years
Text
The Bets Are On
You didn't always get dragged along on tours with Marvus, preferring to stay away from the sheer chaos of the limelight. It wasn't that you hated it but you certainly weren't a big fan of having Marvus within reach and yet still not being able to see him. The packed schedule that came with his tours were a drag and you weren't even bound by them. But Ourani and Revell had both asked you to be there, it was important that Marvus and his band were seen in a positive light while on an Earth bound tour. A surprising side effect of the current alliance between the two was the fact bands were allowed to perform on both planets for the first time. It was an opportunity that no one in the entertainment industry could pass up on- not even Marvus. Which was why you were there- they were trying to involve as many humans as possible as a show of good faith. Revell had been the most excited about it as the band's human sensitivity trainer. The fact he wasn't even human in the first place was both amusing and a glaring sign of Alternia's many problems. It'd be insulting if Revell wasn't so serious about his job, often consulting as many humans as he possibly could over the most minute detail and advocating for an actual human to do the training instead of himself. Unfortunately his hands were tied on that front.
Lost in your own thoughts you nearly fell off the chair you were sitting in when Ourani slammed the door to the break room open looking frazzled. His usually slightly wrinkled but tidy clothes were a wreck- tie askew and shirt buttoned wrong with his hair sticking up at odd angles. He looked like he'd survived a mob. "Thaaaat's it! I caaaan't do this aaaanymore! Maaaarvus is driving me to drink!" He shrieked the second the door swung closed behind him. You winced slightly and gave him a sympathetic smile.
"How I've laaaasted this long is aaaa daaaamn mystery!" He continued tossing his clipboard onto the table. You could only imagine what he'd been having to deal with.
"What did he do this time?"
"Whaaaat did he do this time? This time? Its less whaaaat he’s done aaaand more whaaaat he’s going to do! He purposely faaaailed every single humaaaan sensitivity course he waaaas instructed to taaaake! Do you haaaave aaaany ideaaaa how haaaard it waaaas to even get him to those courses? Its like trying to herd feraaaal purr-beaaaasts!” He all but wailed sinking down into the chair opposite from you. It creaked under his weight- built more for humans than adult trolls- and you feared it might collapse under the poor rust blood. The last thing he needed to happen when he was already this close to a break down.
“I know I talk a lot of shit about Marvus but he can’t be that bad.”
Those were clearly the wrong words to say to Marvus’ top personal assistant as Ourani looked at you with an expression bordering on murderous and manic.
“Oh, you think so huh? You think you caaaan haaaandle being Maaaarvus’ Personaaaal Aaaasistaaaant? You think you can do better thaaaan I caaaan? Fine! Why don’t you do my job todaaaay then? He’s got aaaa full schedule aaaand haaaas aaaalreaaaady shown signs of trying to blow it aaaall off!”
“Uh-,”
“Even better ideaaaa! We’ll maaaake aaaa bet out of it. If you caaaan get Maaaarvus to staaaay on traaaack I’ll paaaay some of thaaaat debt you owe to Gorjek.”
“Wh-,”
“Aaaand if you lose? I’ll finaaaally quit!” He was grinning wildly now, eyes bright with glee at the thought of quitting.
“How about if I win you just schedule Marvus a little down time?” You offered instead. Trying to hopefully keep him from losing it further.
“Fine.” He replied looking slightly less like he might jump over the table and throttle you or the next person to walk into the break room. With a more steadying breath Ourani extended his hand to shake on the bet and you gladly took it. Anything to keep him from going full American Psycho on everyone there. You both nearly lept out of your skins when his phone went off to let him know his short break was over. "How about that bet starts now and you go home to get some actual sleep?" You offered, Ourani nodded vigorously to that already shoving his clipboard into your hands. He couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough it seemed. You hoped he'd get some actual rest, the poor guy was one of the most overworked people on the job. Glancing down at the clipboard you winced. Ourani really wasn’t kidding when he said Marvus had a full schedule, looks like you could kiss any other plans you had today goodbye. Straightening out your clothes you went to go find Marvus- wherever he could have gotten. Most likely he wouldn’t be trying to hide from you. He’d be expecting Ourani to be the one trying to hunt him down.
You’d been wandering for five minutes when you finally found him. He was actually where he was supposed to be- chatting with his bandmates who immediately perked up to see you.
“Oh shit! Look who it is.”
“Hey guys, mind if I steal Marvus away for a second?” You asked cheerfully. His bandmates had a soft spot for you and it was easy to get them to agree. Their soft spot would make this bet a little easier to win, hopefully.
“Whatchu need babes?” Marvus asked once the two of you had gotten far enough away. You smiled up at him warmly. "Well, first off-," You grabbed the sides of his purple jacket to pull him down closer to your height, "I'd like a kiss." "Shit babe, all you had ta do was ask." He grinned leaning into you. His arm carefully wrapped around your waist as he tilted your chin up to get better access. You huffed a small laugh as he gave your lip a small nip before kissing you. Letting your eyes close for a brief moment to fully enjoy the kiss you cupped his jaw with your hands before regretfully having to pull back- Marvus attempting to follow you. "Secondly," You murmured interrupted by another brief kiss, "You have a meeting in two minutes." "What." You grinned at his flat off guard tone. Not being able to help yourself as you giggled. "I have your entire schedule for the day." "No."
"Mm, yes."
"Babe-,"
"You also have a meeting with Revell to talk about those courses you flunked out of."
"How-,"
"Ourani went home for the day, I'm gonna be your PA so he can actually get some sleep."
"Oh?"
"Don't get any ideas." You interrupted already knowing where his mind was going, "I'm going to make sure you get through your entire schedule whether you like it or not."
"C'mon, just give me an hour." "I might consider it-," He grinned, "After we get through your schedule."
Marvus pouted.
“Work Marvus. Focus on work.”
“Aww, but you be lookin’ so cute when you take charge.”
“And you’ll be a lot more appealing when you actually do your job.”
“Damn.” He muttered under his breath already standing back up to his full height. “Alright baby, guess we cans go to this meeting.”
It looked, at least for the moment, you might actually win this bet.
Then again, you had yet to get him to go to his meeting with Revell. For some reason those two couldn’t stand each other- you’d zoned out briefly during one of his rants only catching something vague about their ancestors that only confused you more. Revell was actually a kind troll though his threshold for what he dubbed ‘highblood nonsense’ was practically nonexistent. He seemed rather fascinated by human culture, often asking you questions on things he didn’t quite understand- some of his questions not even you could answer with any degree of accuracy. But, Marvus and him were known for their fights. Not even in the pitch leaning way either. You had yet to witness their fights but Ourani had talked about them looking pale and shaky- considering the fact that he’d been witness to the usual Alternian concert slaughter fests that happened with Marvus you had to admit you were afraid to see what could shake him like that. If Marvus' PR team was surprised to see him actually at the meeting they didn't say, though they seemed happy to see you with him. Taking your seat next to Marvus you glanced down at the schedule again. He had this meeting, his meeting with Revel, an autograph signing, and then a meeting with a lesser known human band you hadn't even heard of. Knowing Marvus all of these would be a few hours each.
“You bein’ awfully quiet over there.” Marvus murmured to you while his PR team bickered. You glanced up from the clipboard you’d been staring a hole through to give him a flat look. Better to not put him on edge.
“Just trying to figure out how to get you from point A to point B.”
“C’mon baby I ain’t that bad.”
“Ourani would beg to differ.”
“Then he can fuckin’ beg.”
You smacked his arm earning a small chuckle as he turned back to the meeting.
This was going to be a very long day.
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girl8890 · 3 years
Text
Project Partners | CH 4
Pairing: Loner!Jungkook x Popular!Fem!Reader
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Summary: Jungkook has always been a loner. Only having one friend that barely even lets him get a word out. College should be flying by with the type of life he's living. But every time he sees one girl, in particular, it seems like time slows down. Now that a group project has been assigned, and no one is allowed to pick their partners. What will Jungkook do now that he has to work closely with the girl he's madly in love with for the next three months?
Warnings: Mentions of past body shaming, Mentally abusive parents, Neglected reader, Social anxiety, Flirting.
BTS ML | INDEX | CH 5
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・' (*゚▽゚*)' ・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
Jungkook ends up meeting with Y/n at a cafe on campus. Meeting for coffee always sounded so intimate to Jungkook. Like it was either a pre-date or a place you bring your significant other to break up with them. He's never been asked to 'get coffee' with anyone before. So, his only references to this little meet-up are from movies that he binged during high school. 
But this isn't a pre-date or a breakup scenario. It's Y/n feeling intrigued by the man in front of her. A person she's known for so long but never talked enough to know his story. Jungkook is a complete mystery to her, and she’s already seen how different he is when comparing him to rest of the guys on campus are. She just wants to see how far this difference goes. 
Jungkook shakily picks up his mug from the table, sipping on it gingerly. He glances around the cafe and fiddles with the mug in his hands. Anything to distract him from the intense stare from his biggest and longest crush is giving him across the table. 
To say Jungkook was nervous for this meet-up would be putting it lightly. The whole morning he was having a nervous breakdown over simply what to wear! Then if he should get there early, or be fashionably late like the popular kids in school always boost about for parties. He ends up being early by ten minutes because, once again, he can't stand how slow the clock was ticking. And he got there just minutes before she arrived. 
Currently, he’s still a nervous wreck. Nervous to say anything or even look at Y/n for too long. Like if he looks at her for more than a couple seconds, she'll yell at him and call him a pervert. 
"So, you have anxiety?"
Jungkook finally looks at Y/n for the first time since he sat at the booth. Looking at her, surprised and wondering how the Hell she could guess that. 
"Sorry if that's too evasive. It's just... I never see you around much, except in class, but you seem like such a good guy. It's weird to me that you're not like... popular? I guess?"
Jungkook nibbles on his bottom lip and moves his cup closer to him. He wasn't expecting you to bring up this topic or for anyone to ask him about it, honestly, but he does have anxiety. Diagnosed with social anxiety at age 13. He's not really sure why he has it since it's not like he came from a terrible family or anything like that. But he has a feeling it has a lot to do with the bullies he accumulated over the years.
"Yeah, I-" He clears his throat when he realizes how small his voice came out. "Yeah, I do. Social situations just make me nervous-" Especially when they involve you. "-and I kinda like being by myself, most of the time."
"But, what about your roommate? What's his name, again?"
"Ryan."
"That's right! Ryan! He that bubbly dude, that likes to flirt with the cheerleading squad," Y/n giggles out her description of Ryan, and it makes Jungkook roll his eyes. 
"Yeah, he's too confident with himself. I honestly don't even know why I'm friends with him. Contently bothering me, talking to me about shit I don't care about, teasing me about-"
He did it again. 
This is the second time now Jungkook was about to admit his feelings towards her. Granted, the last time he did admit he thinks she's hot, but Y/n just laughed it off. It’s like his mouth has no filter with. Wanting to spit out any garbage that comes to mind.... and he’s sure if he likes it or not.
Y/n nods her head in understanding, then takes a sip from the straw of her iced coffee. 
"I can understand that, though. The social anxiety, not the being overly confident part."
Jungkook furrows his eyebrows and doesn't understand what she's saying. He hears her, but doesn’t believe her. He knows, Y/n knows she's hot. There's no way she could think any different, especially when she is the type of person that gets a million secret valentines sent to her every year. And she very much does get that every year... Jungkook would know.
"What do you mean?"
Jungkook watches Y/n glance around awkwardly, then slump in her seat a little. The air became thick, and his anxiety spiked for thinking he had just asked a question that’s completely not his business. 
"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"You didn't. It's okay, Kookie. It's just... promise not to tell anyone if I tell you."
"I promise," Jungkook says and nods his head for extra confirmation.
Y/n breaths in then exhales while putting her hands flat on the table. Preparing herself to tell Jungkook one of her biggest secrets that she's never told a soul.
"My parents aren't exactly... the nurturing type, I guess? They strive for perfection, and that includes their only daughter. When they started realizing I was gaining in popularity during high school, everything became about my looks."
Jungkook understands where this is going, and he already hates it.
"My dad's a part of the city council, back in my town, so image was everything, and it didn't help that their only daughter was popular too, and they couldn't let her ‘loose her image’ by becoming fat." You paused for a second. "They would make step on a scale every morning and tell me what I was eating every day. Calling me fat if I gained a pound... And I started believing I was... There would be days I wouldn't eat, and every time that scale said I was lower in weight, my parents would praise me. Do you remember our peep rally senior year of high school?"
Jungkook wasn't much of a person to go to school events, especially in high school. He only went to the ones Ryan dragged him to, including the one Y/n was talking about. It's unmistaken she was talking about this particular one because it's the one she fainted in the middle of. 
Y/n used to be a cheerleader back in high school, so she had to attend every one. She's also a reason he couldn't go to pep rallies. Teenage hormones, and the girl he’s in love with wearing a mini-skirt, don't mix well. 
Jungkook nods his head but doesn't say anything. He thinks if he were to say anything yet, it would disturb you from being so open with him. And he wanted you to be open with him, just like he was trying to be with you. 
"Well, unlike what rumors were said, I did not faint because I was pregnant.” Y/n rolls her eyes at how stupid that rumor was. “I fainted because I didn't eat that morning, and my blood pressure got too low. That's why I got kicked off the squad, too. Couldn't have their too skinny, but thinks she's fat, girl be a flyer," Y/n laughs the last part off, but there's sorrow in her voice. Like she still can't believe that's a part of her past. That she got so bad, from not eating, that she fainted. 
Without thinking, Jungkook grasps his hand in hers and half smiles at her. 
"You’re better now though, right? You learned from your mistakes. Most people don't, in that situation."
"That's true, but I still feel like the ugly daughter sometimes."
"But you're perfect!" Jungkook slaps a hand over his mouth, and you laugh at his outburst. 
He just now realizes he's full-on holding your hand and takes it away from you quickly. But as he's taking it away, you grab it mid-air. Not letting him escape the adorable hand-holding thing you two were just doing. 
"Not so fast, slick. You think I'm perfect, and that to me is fucking adorable."
Jungkook feels his face heat up in blush and he breaks out in a cold sweat. He's loving the feeling of your hand in his, but in this scenario he feels like a fish out of water. Not being able to form complete words either as he tries to explain himself.
"I mean... I guess... you know?"
Y/n raises an eyebrow in confusion and shakes her head. Absolutely not getting a single thing Jungkook was trying to say. 
Fucking breath, Jungkook!
"I mean... you're perfect, but so does everyone else." She rolls her eyes at him, not believing his statement, but he doesn't stop there. "You were second in line to be valedictorian, was voted most likely to succeed after high school, and became prom queen, as well as homecoming queen."
Y/n lets go of Jungkook's hands and sinks into the booth. Loving but feeling weird about all the praise she's getting right now. 
"I mean... I guess those are good things."
And that's when Jungkook sees it. Y/n... the girl he's been in love with for years... is blushing. 
He made her blush! 
Another check off his goal list.
"Your perfect, Y/n. And it's not just about how you look. We all have our flaws or terrible pasts, but you - Y/n - nothing can make me think you're any less than perfect."
That's when Y/n looks back up at Jungkook. Hearing this little confession is pulling at her heartstrings for unknown reasons. 
Jungkook, on the other hand, feels like his heart is about to explode. He just wanted to keep making her flustered. Keep making Y/n have that adorable blush on her face, and maybe pull at her heartstrings - which he did - but now she is staring at him like he's a million bucks. This is too much to handle! 
"You know, kookie." Y/n leans in close to him across the table. "You're not too bad yourself." She has sex practically dripping from her words, and her doe eyes are full of mischief. 
IS SHE FLIRTING????!!!!!
Jungkook feels his stomach tighten, and her suggestive words go straight to his dick. Making him have to cross his legs and hope you don't see how much you just affected him. She didn't even say anything that suggestive, but her eyes and her tone of voice... that's what got him. That's what got his dick twitching in his pants. Might as well have just hit Jungkook with the horny truck. 
He's staring at her wide-eyed, not knowing what to say or how to react to flirting of any kind. Especially from her, out of all flipping people! Might as well ask him to come to her dorm...
"You wanna meet at my dorm later?"
What?
"For the project."
Jungkook sighs, and his whole body moves with it. He just now realized he's held his breath the entire time. 
"Yeah... t-that sounds good."
Y/n stands from the booth and goes around to Jungkook's side. She kisses him on the cheek, then whispers against his skin, "Can't wait."
She glances at his obvious erection, then leaves the cafe with the biggest knowing smirk on her face. Leaving an embarrassed, flustered, and a even more horny Jungkook still stunned.
Again, what the fuck just happened?
-
-
-
CH 5
81 notes · View notes
ace-nlis · 3 years
Text
How they met you & fell in love
a/n: This is the first time I decided to actually write something with the intention of posting it. I hope that whoever reads this enjoys it. I'm sorry if I've misspelled anything, English isn't my first language. I hope I did well for my first writing post >.<
WARNINGS: none apart from slight violence. Female reader. Cussing.
Otherwise; fluffy content.
(Y/n) - Your name
(L/n) - Last name
Like or repost if you enjoy <3
Akaashi:
When you first met him, you thought he was a pretty boy with a resting bitch face. He is an extremely straight forward 'say it how it is' type of person and you respected him for that because it isn’t always easy to just speak your mind upfront in this day and age. He didn’t really look all that friendly or approachable, but since you were friends with Bokuto you just had to suck it up and stick around. It was pretty awkward talking to him or even just being around him at first, until you realized that his exterior was an act and he’s a total softy when he isn’t trying to call Bo out on his bullshit. You found him to be an intriguing person, but also rather intimidating. He was peaceful, he didn’t talk all that much and kept to himself like a true introvert. You were the opposite, more of an ambivert type. You tried your best to befriend him, but little did you know that friendship would spiral into something else along the line.
After a while of being friends, Akaashi got red in the ears in your presence. He was easily flustered around you, and the both of you often tended to flirt and bicker as if it was second nature. The two of you in a room together never got boring. Everyone around you could tell the two of you were head over heels for each other. You thought the opposite though, you felt that the friendship was never going to progress into anything more and that your crush was meaningless because nothing would come of it. After being friends for several months, nearly reaching the 1 year milestone, you eventually started to distance yourself.
You always thought the way Akaashi acted around you was purely just because the two of you had a close bond as friends, nothing more, nothing less. Akaashi on the other hand was devastated when he noticed the drastic changes in the close bond you both shared. He noticed that whenever he walked into a room, you’d disappear. Whenever he tried to call you, you wouldn’t answer the phone and make up some excuse that you were busy. The poor guy felt like his sanity was hanging on a thread and all he wanted was to speak to you, figure out what he did wrong and at least go back to how things once were. One day, he cornered you in an empty classroom. His eyes seemed frantic and he made sure to trap you between his arms and leave no room for you to escape so he could get answers. “(Y/n), are you okay? Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”
It seemed like the questions that were wracking his brain kept tumbling out, and in an overwhelmed panic she stopped him. The next thing the both of them knew was that her lips were pressed to his. At first his eyes were wide and body was stiff with shock. He didn’t know how to respond, and he firmly believed that this was a dream. In her mind, she thought she had just made the biggest mistake of her life because he wasn’t responding to it, he was just standing there and embarrassment slowly started to flood her. Before she could pull away from him, his arms slackened and his hands slid down the wall beside her, eventually placing them on her hips and pulling her body flush against his while kissing her back feverishly. When the two pulled away, they were out of breath and their eyes had a dazed look in them as they locked eyes. He leaned his head against hers and sighed in relief, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as he kept his eyes locked on hers. I think that’s when you both knew that there was no way in hell you’d let go of each other at any point in time because it really felt like you were meant to be together.
Oikawa:
You knew of Oikawa Tooru but you never actually wanted to be acquainted with him. To you he sounded like a total sleazebag, a player that loved breaking female students’ hearts left and right. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to bump into him on Valentines day after having to reject a poor freshman. When you bumped into Oikawa, he thought that you were another girl ready to confess to him due to the box of chocolates in your hands and a smirk instantly made its way onto his face as he reached over to take the box. Your immediate response was to slap his hand away. If looks could kill, he sure as hell would be more than 6 feet under because you were not up for anyone's bullshit. Oikawa gasped in shock and retracted his hand immediately with a pout. “Hey! I know you. You’re (L/n), hmm. Aren’t you a friend of Iwa? You know, you don’t have to be embarrassed about trying to confess to me. I always appreciate a new follower.”
A mix between a scoff and a laugh of disbelief made its way out of you as you immediately shoved the box of chocolates into your bag. “Wow, I knew you were vain but I guess I underestimated just how much. If you think I have any interest in an asshole like you then you must be smoking something. I have no interest in being one of your petty little toys that you hold on a string. I refuse to be one of your little puppets that follow you around to show my undying admiration for someone as shitty as you. No wonder he calls you Shittykawa. You truly are a self centered douche.”
Oikawa’s face was burning red with embarrassment as she pushed past him and continued going to her class. He was astonished, shocked beyond any words imaginary as he stood there and tried to process what had just happened. Eventually he was brought back to his senses when Iwaizumi smacked him over the head and told him to stop staring like a dumbass and get to practice. “Iwa, How do you know (L/n)?” He asked suddenly after they walked in silence for several minutes, which was very unlike Oikawa. “I’m in the majority of her classes and she lives a block away from me. Why?”
“She’s weird. I thought she was gonna confess and then she slapped my hand and called me a douche.” Oikawa said, his tone was completely flat for once and Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow at his friend. “Yeah, well what do you expect? She has better things to do than fawn over you, Shittykawa.”
*Insert offended Oikawa noises here*
Needless to say, his first encounter with you was not exactly what he would’ve liked it to be. Slowly though he tried to fish more information out on you, he wanted to understand why you weren’t like the other girls who practically fell in love with him at first sight and why you were the way that you were in general. That meant that any time Iwaizumi would meet up with you at a park to study together or whenever you guys would spend any type of time together that Tooru would tag along. Teachers thought that you were having a blooming friendship with him though and much to your dismay you ended up getting partnered with him on a school project. You felt sick to the pit of your stomach because you truly didn’t want him to come to your home, but he kept insisting and you knew that there would be no point in trying to convince him otherwise so you gave in to his stubbornness.
You felt ashamed the moment he stepped through the front door, your parents were never home and you had to take care of your younger twin siblings. The house was a mess, and that was when he understood why you had such a cold persona around others. You wanted to distance yourself from people and push them away as much as possible in order for you to not have to go through the embarrassment of looking like a train wreck to everyone else in the circumstances that you were in as opposed to your usual well put together attitude. To your surprise though, he was patient. He jumped in on helping you clean, he even helped the twins with any homework questions they had in between working on your project together and showed no judgement. In fact, he gave you a look of understanding.
After that, you were able to tolerate him more and you allowed him to visit the twins more often while even bringing along his nephew for all of them to play together. He taught them how to play volleyball while also helping you in the kitchen when you needed it. He didn’t want to admit it, but he honestly fell in love with you because of how genuine you were. You guys flirted, but it was suffocating to him like all the other girls who flirted with him on a daily basis. He only had interest in you, and you bet your ass Iwa teased the shit out of him for it. Your project got an incredible score of 100% and the two of you celebrated together by playing some volleyball even though you were complete shit at it. He didn’t care though and had fun. You found yourselves hanging a lot more often, being around each other almost 24/7 and you even met his family at some point. They absolutely loved you, and so did he.
He tried to figure out how he’d confess to you, he wanted it to be special. He wanted it to be a moment the both of you would remember because he quite honestly couldn’t see him spending any of his time with any other girl apart from you. Of course he was extremely nervous and skeptical on how to approach it, it was a 50/50 chance of you liking him back. The thoughts left his mind when he heard your voice outside a local supermarket, asking someone to leave you alone and that immediately flipped a switch in his brain. He quickly tried to look for you and found you trying to tell some tipsy guy that you didn’t want anything to do with him to which he immediately went over with his hands tucked in his pocket.
“Hey (Y/n), everything okay?” he asked as he coldly stared at the man that had been harassing you. A quiet “Oh thank god” was whispered underneath your breath as you managed to force your way closer to Tooru. He immediately wrapped one arm around your waist and kept his eyes locked on the other older gentleman that had been bothering you. The guy smirked, “Oh nothing man, I was trying to have a chat with her and she got all bitchy. That’s all.” (Y/n) could feel his body language immediately became a lot more tense, but you quickly pulled at him and tried to evade the situation. “It’s not worth it, Tooru. Let’s just go, okay? We can get some milk bread and watch movies or something.”
“I don’t appreciate the way you talk about my (Y/n)-chan. In fact, I’d advise you to leave her alone before I make you regret even breathing the same air as her. Got that?” He spoke calmly as he gently nudged you out of the alleyway next to the store. “Hey, who the hell do you think you are? Huh? Can’t just take my woman like that, dude.” This is when you truly saw how angry Oikawa could get as all he did was throw a punch and the guy was down. You could only stare in shock at what had just unfolded in front of you. “If you ever talk about her like that again I swear I’ll make you regret you ever existed.” At that he tugged you along and when the two of you were a few blocks away you grabbed hold of his hand and inspected it. “You seriously didn’t have to go that far. I don’t care what a low life has to say about me, at least I don’t live in the streets and I’ve got a roof over my head.” He remained silent for a moment before latching his hand onto your wrist and pulling you into his chest. “I’d never let anyone do or say anything to hurt you. Remember that. I’m just sorry you had to witness me get like that. I’ll make it up to you though.”
“Oh? I think a date would be a pretty nice way to make it up to me since you insisted on calling me your (Y/n)-chan” you said, giving him a cheeky smile to which he could only reply with a teasing smirk. “Hm, seems only fair after I saved you as heroically as I did.”
“Whatever you say, douche”
*insert baffled Oikawa noises here*
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pascalpanic · 3 years
Text
Burning The Midnight Oil (Javier Peña x gn!Reader)
Summary: Javier has been burning the candle at both ends. He just needs some rest. Luckily, you’ve got your husband covered.
W/C: 3.4K
Warnings: oh boy um. language, non sexual nudity, brief sexual jokes/innuendo, lots of talk of sleep deprivation bc that’s a plot point here, brief mentions of alcohol and guns (maybe once each), mostly talk of food/eating, eating meat/pork (Javier does, not reader) otherwise I’d say it’s fluffy for the most part
A/N: ☄️ anon, god bless your soul for this idea!! I really love it so I banged it out in one night and here we are!!
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You haven’t seen your husband in days. You know he’s exhausted, only ever showing up at home when you’re off at work. It’s a terrible situation, the only contact you’ve had with him being at odd hours over the phone.
The DEA has been all hands on deck this week, requiring their men to be there at all times unless they’re at home and sleeping; even then, they only get about six hours off at a time, many of them too wired to sleep. Javier only gets to come home every other day, usually during the middle of the day. He’s been staying up for a dangerous amount of time, in your opinion, leaving you just about ready to find the heads of the cartel and beat their asses yourself.
During the work week, you can’t complain. You have no right to. You knew when you and Javier had eloped and married that the man’s job was a baggage you’d be forced to carry as a couple. You normally didn’t mind, but when it goes into the weekend, that’s when you get mad. Not just that you don’t get your husband at home with you, but that he doesn’t get to be home. He deserves it. Javier hardly relaxes during the weekends, and essentially does not relax on weeknights until he’s fallen asleep with his head on your chest.
Saturday found you running errands, expecting Javier home by midday at the very latest. Returning home with a pep in your step and finding no Javier there, your mood and smile fell instantly. It’s Saturday; your husband should be home. They should be letting them go home, you thought angrily as you took your anger out by chopping the vegetables to go into your dinner. Surely Javier will be home by dinnertime.
Nothing. 6 P.M., 7 P.M., no Javier, just a dinner growing cold and your heart sinking. You knew Javier had got his break yesterday, and had been in the apartment while you worked, but a slightly rumpled bed was the only evidence he was even there.
At 8, you walk to the phone and dial the DEA office, specifically Javier’s extension.
Your husband picks up and his voice wrecks your heart. “Peña,” he mumbles, his voice crackly. It sounds like his morning grumble after a long night of sleep next to you.
“Javi,” you coo, heart breaking. “Baby, when are you coming home?”
Javier perches on the edge of his desk, phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder. “Fuck, cariño, I don’t know,” he admits, rubbing his face. “I just woke up, I got an hour nap in the break room office. We have to keep going. We’re so close, I can tell.”
You understand his desperation, but you know exactly what he looks like now, a stubble growing thanks to his time away from home, his eyes bloodshot and drooping. His hair is probably messy and his shirt is probably all wrinkly; you’re absolutely certain he’s holding a mug of the sludgy black coffee the office brews. He’s most definitely the picture of exhaustion, and even though you can’t see him, you know your husband. He is a wreck. “I can let Saturday slide, but you’re coming home tomorrow, I don’t care how long. I need to see you and you need to be taken care of.” “I’m doing just fine,” Javier shakes his head and you can hear a flick of a lighter as he’s most likely lighting a cigarette.
“You’re not, and don’t try to pull that card with me. I know you. You’re a disaster; I can tell from your voice. You haven’t eaten and you haven’t slept and you can’t deny it. I want you home as soon as you can tomorrow, you got it? Don’t you even fucking dare try it, Javier Fernando Peña.”
The full name: ouch. He sighs and exhales the cigarette smoke, then takes a sip of his coffee before answering you. “God, I fucking love you,” he chuckles softly. “Okay.”
Another sign of Javier’s exhaustion: how easily he gives in. Javier is a stubborn man, but over your years together he’s learned that you’re just as hard to budge. When both of you are set, neither of you can be moved. Your sarcasm and wit and willpower was what drew him to you in the first place; Javier could never have a compliant, submitting partner. He’d be a mess. He needs you to ground him, he knew and still knows it. It’s why you’re married now.
“I love you too, handsome. Call me before you come home, okay baby? I want to be awake for you,” you say, a soft smile on your face. Your voice is much warmer, less jagged and rough.
It’s the way you always get Javi, the thing that makes him melt the most: when you’re snapping one second and gentle the next. God, he fucking loves you. You understand him, you don’t question him when he comes home and doesn’t speak. You read him and then you hold him, and all of his fears dissipate with his calming breath. “Okay. I love you,” he repeats again, more earnest and purposeful. He wants you to know it; he worries you haven’t felt it in the past week. It’s also another sign of his exhaustion.
“I love you too, Javi,” you remind him as you chuckle and stand. “Don’t fall asleep on the job. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Javier groans and cracks his neck after hanging up, sliding the typewriter back to the beginning. Just a little longer, he tells himself, then he gets to come home to you.
-
The phone rings around 5 in the morning, waking you from a restless slumber. The sun is just starting to rise, making the sky lighter and colorful from its previous midnight blue. Knowing Javier would be calling, it was impossible for you to sleep fully, leaving you in a dozing state more similar to a daydream than to any form of REM.
“Hello?” You answer with a groggy voice, hoping it’s Javier. Who else could it be, at this hour on a Sunday morning?
“Hey, dulzura,” Javier sighs into the phone. “I’m packing up my shit now. We didn’t get Escobar, but we got one of his big guys late last night. They’re bringing in some Search Bloc guys and giving us tomorrow off.”
You nearly cry in relief at his words, making a noise between a sigh and a squeal,  heavy and happy. Javier laughs softly at your noise of relief, allowing himself to smile. His vision is hazy from the lack of sleep, but he’ll be cognizant enough after this last cup of coffee kicks in. “Get your ass home, Javi,” you tell him with a voice just as sleepy as his own. “You got an ETA for me?”
There’s a moment of silence as he looks at his watch. “5:45.”
Your eyes haven’t even opened yet, and you finally let them as you look at the clock. That’s soon, really soon, and it makes your heart speed up a little as your body forces you awake. “Great. I’ll see you then. Drive safe. If you’re too tired-”
“Steve will not be driving,” he cuts you off with a grumble. It makes you giggle a little, his adamance that Steve could never possibly do something better than him, more competently.
“Just reminding you. I’ll see you,” you tell him and hang up before he can make another sarcastic comment.
He’s glad you hang up so fast. He doesn’t have the brain power for a classic witty retort.
-
Javier goes to unlock the apartment door about half an hour later, but finds that his keys aren’t necessary: you’ve left the door unlocked for him.
He’d be ashamed to admit it to anyone but you, but it really does happen: Javier’s eyes water as he walks inside to the smell of cooking, the stream of soft light through the kitchen window, the sound of soft Sunday morning music drifting from the radio.
You’re at the oven, cooking, and turn when you hear a noise, grinning to see Javier. “Hey, handsome,” you squeal and rush over, wrapping your arms around him.
Javier buries his face in your hair, throwing his arms back around you. You smell fresh and clean, so soft in the fluffy robe he bought you for your birthday a few months ago now. You’re surprised to feel warm water drip from his eyes to your neck, and you pull away with a frown, cupping his face. “Are you okay, love?” You ask, wiping the tears from his eyes.
He nods. “So tired,” he admits and swallows hard. “So glad I’m home. So lucky I have you.”
You have a feeling he doesn’t have the energy to kiss you. Instead, you press your forehead to his and squeeze him tight in your arms. “Okay. I cooked breakfast. You need it. Why don’t you go take a shower?” You ask, breaking away and rubbing his arms.
He shakes his head. “My arms feel like lead. I don’t know if I can even wash my hair,” he admits, his voice a low rumble from his chest. “Just let me sleep, baby.”
“I’ll come with you, then,” you offer, already unbuttoning his shirt and working it off of him purely for comfort. You know your way around your husband’s body by now. You could unbutton his shirts blind; in fact, you have. “Come on, cariño,” you murmur and pull him along to the bathroom by the side of an unbuttoned shirt.
Once in the bathroom, Javier blinks and squints at the bright vanity lights, overwhelmed. You turn on the shower, the bathroom filling with warmth as the water heats and steam fills the air. Even in his tired state, Javier loves to undress you. He tugs the belt from your fuzzy robe, sliding it off your shoulders and tossing it on the counter. You then strip off your respective clothes, and you’re the first to step into the stream of the warm water.
Javi doesn’t have to say anything; you can tell his thoughts from your gaze. His eyes rake your body, taking in the sight of his most beloved person on the planet in all of your naked glory. He climbs in after you, and you grab a bar of soap and get to scrubbing, covering all of Javier’s body with the cucumber-scented suds. He leans his head back against the shower wall, loving your warm hands and the hot water. If he wasn’t standing, if his back wasn’t aching so hard, he’d fall asleep here and now. He’s never been more blissful.
You rinse his body then work his shampoo into his thick hair, your fingers scratching his scalp and massaging his head. “You’re the fucking best,” Javi mumbles sleepily. You just chuckle and work the soap into his hair, stripping it of the grime and cigarette smoke of the office, until he’s wiped clean, ready to start anew.
Later, you wash yourself and let Javier enjoy the hot stream of the water. He’s so zoned out you can’t even tell if he’s awake. You have to actually check. “Javi, baby?”
“Hm?” He mumbles
“Did you fall asleep on me?” You chuckle as you turn off the shower, which makes Javier frown at the loss of warmth.
“‘Course not,” he grumbles, taking the fluffy towel from you and wiping his face.
After the two of you have dressed in fresh clothes, you sit on the edge of your bed and wait for Javier to finish. He pulls a worn t-shirt over his head, then comes and sits next to you, kissing the side of your head. “You’re so good to me,” he mumbles into your temple.
He goes to flop back but you put an arm around him, catching him. “Excuse me, Agent. I made breakfast,” you chuckle and sneak a kiss from his lips, chuckling at the way his mustache is still a little damp. “When was the last time you ate?”
Javier stares off as he considers it. It takes a while for him to respond. You nod at that. “Exactly. Come on, I made breakfast just the way you like it.”
The food is still somewhat warm when you find your way to the kitchen. Javier loves the local cuisine, always has, but something about an American breakfast makes him weak at the knees. He sits at the kitchen counter and sighs as you hand him a plate of buttered toast. “There’s your appetizer,” you chuckle and head back to the stove. Half-cooked bacon, which you turned off when he came in, sits in a pan, and you turn it back on to finish. You crack a couple of eggs into another pan, making sure they sit just right so they’re the way Javi likes them: fried. You sprinkle them with salt and pepper, humming to the radio as you cook.
The sizzling bacon makes Javier’s stomach grumble. The toast isn’t even that warm anymore, but the carby goodness fills Javi’s mouth and suddenly he’s never felt so ravenous. The two pieces of buttered toast are devoured in a heartbeat.
Bringing him a mug, you pour some coffee and his favorite creamer in. “You’d better tip me later,” you tease him with a wink as you return to the stove, flipping the bacon and putting some onto a plate.
“I will tip you anything you want, I swear,” he murmurs before sipping at the ceramic mug, the warm coffee going down like it’s the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted, warming him from the inside out. The A/C blasts in the apartment, making his dripping hair feel even colder.
In yet another pan, you start pouring the premade pancake mix you’d prepared before he got home. “All of this and the sun is barely up,” He muses, wandering to the other side of the counter and stealing a strip of bacon.
“Quit,” you whine and smack his hand, making the bacon fall back onto the plate. “Your order isn’t ready yet, sir. Stop harassing the cook.” When his arms wrap around you, your defenses fall. “Go sit down,” you say weakly as he kisses your neck.
At least he obeys. Javier sits in his chair and watches you intently, downing his coffee in a short amount of time.
Finally, the feast all comes together, and you present it to Javier on a large plate: bacon, fried eggs, fruit (which you know he won’t eat, but it’s worth a shot), and heart-shaped pancakes. “I wanted to make a pistol, but I’m not super artistic,” you chuckle as you refer to the fluffy cakes on the plate.
Javier shakes his head but smiles. “Thank you, dulzura,” he manages out before he digs in, devouring the plate at a breakneck speed. You’re content to watch, standing across from him. You go to refill his coffee and come back to find the pancakes completely gone.
It doesn’t take much time at all before the plate is wiped clean, the entire thing in Javier’s stomach. Food has never been the biggest concern for him; he skips meals often for work, and you suspect he hasn’t done much more than snack here or there over the past week. His eyes droop even further now that he has a full stomach, and it warms your heart. You’ve got your husband cleaned and fed; now all you need is one last step before you have your beloved Javi back.
“Alright, handsome,” you smile as you drape your arms across his shoulders. “Nap time.”
He can’t deny that. He stands, letting your arms fall off his shoulders. He pulls you around to his front and wraps his arms around you; you know what comes next in this routine. Your feet slide on top of his and Javier walks the two of you to the bedroom, you backwards and being led by him. Javier is not an overly affectionate man: kisses and sex, primarily, hugs if one of you really needs it. This is his one little act he insists on, since you don’t let him carry you.
As you waddle along, you kiss along Javier’s jaw, giving him all of the affection he missed out on in the past week. When you finally enter your bedroom, you stop as you feel the backs of your calves against the bed. You know this routine all too well. It’s usually reserved for when Javier can’t get his hands off of you, when you desperately need him on top of you, surrounding you, kissing your neck. “Wait,” you murmur and step off of his feet, going to pull back the covers.
You return to the end of the bed, standing on top of his feet again. “There,” you say with a grin, and Javi has no choice but to grin back then kiss you. “Okay, continue.”
Then your routine resumes: you fall backwards onto the bed and Javier falls on top of you. You both grunt with the impact but you smile, wrapping one arm around Javi while the other grabs the sheets and blankets and pulls them over the both of you.
Javi’s cheek is nestled against your chest, listening to your heartbeat, his eyes already shut. “Real cute. Get off of me now,” you tease and nudge his side.
His body beneath yours is all he’s needed, all he’s dreamt about while half-consciously dreaming on the apartment couch. He can feel your chest rise and fall, his head going with it. “No,” he simply mutters, his face squished against the skin encasing your beating heart. “M’comftrble.”
You can’t deny him that, you chuckle, your hands reaching down to entangle your fingers in his dark brown hair, nearly black from the dampness it holds. “Fine,” you sigh, whispering the word to him. “I love you so much, Javi. Missed you. Missed my man.”
“Missed you too, dulzura,” Javi mumbles back, but it’s clear he’s almost already out.
“How long were you up, minus that nap, Javi?” You ask.
He thinks on it for a minute, and you think he might’ve fallen asleep until he responds. “36.”
“Hours?” you exclaim quietly, massaging his scalp. “Baby.”
“I know. Had’ta.”
“Well, you can sleep as long as you need to now, love,” you murmur and kiss his forehead. He makes a soft noise of disapproval. “Just a nap. Wake me in like an hour.”
“Okay,” you lie, knowing you’ll let him sleep as long as his body needs it. “Rest now, baby.”
Javier nods and you exhale deeply, holding his head to your chest. He’s back now, your husband, and you know he’s safe, know he’s healthy and well taken-care of: you did it yourself. His breathing slows. You can feel it against your chest, the way the steady rise and fall becomes slower and slower and you know you’ve won when you hear a soft snore, his parted lips smashed against your chest.
You stay like that for a while, Javier lying on top of you and resting. It’s a comfort to have him pressed against you, to feel your husband’s body and know that he’s here. It’s even better to know he’s resting well, deeply, from the way he slumbers against your body. You intermittently kiss his head, continuing to rub his head in hopes it’ll loosen the tension he’ll surely have when he wakes.
About an hour passes, and you find yourself drowsier and drowsier as the sun rises higher and higher in the sky. Scooting out from beneath Javier, you replace your chest with a pillow to support his face. Rolling him slightly to the side, you cuddle in behind him and spoon him, your arms around him.
The quiet Sunday morning is all too perfect. You drift off too, then wake up an hour or two later and proceed about your household chores. You burn some pretty candles, clean, listen to the radio.
Javier doesn’t wake until 10 P.M. that night, 15 hours after he fell asleep.
Some nap.
-
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208 notes · View notes
heartcal · 3 years
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“who do you believe?”; l.h.
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Disclaimer: i didn’t want to write sierra as a bad person because i personally cannot see that, and i know there’s some discourse about her within in the fandom but i don’t want any of that here! so i named the girlfriend after a girl who bullied me in elementary school lol (but another disclaimer: i do not want to see any hate towards the boys’ s/o! pls don’t send any asks that talks bad about them, i will not answer them!)
thank you for requesting! :^)
a/n: while transfering this from microsoft word, the formatting kept screwing up for some reason so if there are some janky paragraphs, i apologize! not too comfortable with this one compared to my previous fic (this feels rushed) but it is long and i did not mean for that to happen lol. enjoy!
if there are any mistakes, please tell me!
pairing(s): not really a mention of luke hemmings x reader but it’s mostly luke hemmings x named gf (rachel/oc) (gender neutral but if i slipped up, please let me know!)
summary: having known luke for years, it was bound to happen eventually. the crush you developed happened before you could stop it, and you did your best to keep it a secret. you told no one, did your best not to show it, so what do you do when his girlfriend finds out?
genre: angst, and mostly angst >:^)
warnings: swearing, luke’s gf being mean, bullying?
wc: 4,057 (she’s a long one)
my masterlist!
You don’t know when it happened, or frankly how it happened, but one thing is for sure: you don’t want to feel this way.
Was it when he bought you a stuffed animal version of a pet you had as a kid, one that you remember so fondly and still tear up about it to this day? Or was it when he would always bring back a certain candy you can only find in its country of origin, and bring as much as customs would allow? Maybe it was when he printed out every photo he could find from the beginning of your friendship to the present day (at that time) and made a scrapbook for your birthday since you cherish memories?
Whatever memory it was, you want to track it down and destroy it. It wasn’t fair that you developed such strong feelings for your best friend, knowing he doesn’t feel the same since he’s taken.
It’s not that he isn’t attractive – far from that because if anything, you wish you could draw just so you can draw him because there’s no way someone can look that good – but it’s more of the fact that he’s your best friend, someone you hold dear to you.
You two grew up together; saw each other’s worst phases, styles, and embarrassing moments (it was well documented towards the middle of the scrapbook). He was with you when you went through bad break-ups, and you with him. Throughout school, you two were inseparable, and when the band got big he made sure to keep you close and to never lose contact. It was hard in the beginning but you two managed.
Now finished with college, you’ve taken on the role of working with the team when they’re on tour and helping plan aesthetics for the next album. He offered the jobs after you struggled to find a job after graduation, and in the end, you enjoyed being with the guys and doing the tasks needed.
Tonight, the band was set to play their new album to an intimate crowd. It was to welcome back old fans and welcome new fans, introducing both sides to a new sound they worked hard on. You couldn’t be any more proud.
You sat on the couch as the guys walked around the room, pepping themselves up and hyping each other. You had finished doing your tasks with the crew and spent your free time watching the band prepare as the audience began to fill in the theater seats.
A nudge on your arm makes you direct your eyes from Michael styling his hair with a nervous expression to the person on your left.
“What’s up?” you asked, smiling at the curly-haired individual.
Luke shrugs, glancing around the room before his eyes land back on you. He has a small smile on his face as he leans back onto the couch, “Nothing.”
You scoff, shaking your head with a smile, “Yeah, sure, ‘nothing,’” you mimic, tilting your head to the side, “I doubt that.”
“What do you want me to say?”
You give him an incredulous look, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. You can tell he’s nervous, like the rest of the team and the band, but he won’t admit it. He’s always wanted others to view him as strong and unbothered, especially when those around him feel off.
He mirrors your position, a smirk on his lips because he knows you’re about to lecture him.
And he’s right.
“Your band has a new album out in a couple of days—an album you guys have worked hard on even when your management gave you shit, mind you—and you’re about to perform a majority of the songs in front of 500. Are you not nervous?”
He shakes his head, smugly smiling as he returns to his position leaning against the couch, watching Ashton dry the wet ends of his hair.
“Liar,” you mumble, uncrossing your arms and taking your phone out to check the time.
“Alright,” Luke sighs, giving in, “maybe I’m a little nervous, but I’m not a wreck.”
He’s still a liar. The success of their last album was astounding, so creating an album to reach that level and hopefully top it was hard enough. Playing it in front of an intimate crowd who may or may not like it was tough.
Luke isn’t cocky. He’s a humble man, but he likes to joke around in stressful situations. He’s used to concerts, so he doesn’t have any anxiety when it comes to performing. But when he is nervous for any reason, he won’t show it. He’ll act cool, completely collected with his head held high in confidence. If he needs to relieve the stress, he’ll either do it himself with a strong pep talk, or he’ll go to you.
“What are you nervous about?” You ask, wanting to make him feel better.
“Will they like it? Will it even chart? Is it too bold?” he continues listing out his insecurities about the album and the performance, finally lifting everything off his chest.
And you listen. The way his eyes stare into yours with slight confidence, covered by worry makes your heart sore. Luke’s kept everything inside and now that he’s listing his grievances, it makes you wonder just what else you can get out of him that he’s kept buried inside.
However, before you can give him your insight on this particular problem, “Luke!”
His head immediately turns to the door, the worry in his eyes fading out into sheer happiness and adoration. Something you’ve always wanted to see directed towards you.
Luke stands arms wide as he captures his girlfriend in his arms for a hug. Her arms wrap around his waist as his arms go around her shoulders, dipping his head down to kiss her on the head.
“I can’t believe you made it!” you hear him speak with excitement, expressing more words of happiness as he guides her to another part of the room.
You don’t miss the way her eyes glare in your direction, and you’re not afraid to give her a look back.
Rachel was nice when you met her. You actually liked her, despite your crush on Luke, and you were rooting for the two. But, a couple months ago during a stressful week, she turned on you. Her attitude towards you shifted, almost as if you had disrespected her and her bloodline. She would always act as if you weren’t in the room, and when plans were made with the boys, she would “accidentally” leave you out. It was embarrassing for you when you’d find out your friends went out, calling you to find out why you didn’t come. Due to the embarrassment, you would go along with it, making up some excuse as to why you were absent.
None of the boys, to your knowledge at least, have caught on to her antics, and you honestly hope they don’t. Whatever it is you did to her, you want to find out for yourself so you can fix it.
With a sigh, you stand from the couch, stretching your arms briefly before wandering to Calum, who stood in the shower room connected to the dressing room.
“Hey,” you greeted him with a warm smile.
He smiles back, finishing his drink before tossing the plastic cup in the trash. He grabs his bass, which was placed on the counter, and holds it out to you.
“You want me to see if it sounds out of tune?” you jokingly ask.
He nods, “Yeah, I feel like one of the chords might be flat.”
You chuckle as you pluck a random chord. His instruments are always tuned before it’s time to play. One of his pre-show nervous ticks was the constant doubt of his instruments being playable.
“It’s fine, Calum.”
The doubt shows on his face as he brings his guitar back to himself, putting it on and checking the chords himself, but it doesn’t last long as Ashton’s voice calls everyone to the center of the room.
Walking with Calum to where the rest of the crew was, you notice how attached Luke was to Rachel. Joint at the hip, arms wrapped around each other; it was annoying.
“Show starts in ten,” Ashton gains your attention, holding up a cup as Michael hands Calum a similar cup before doing the same to Luke. The three follow the drummer’s action as he continues, “let’s make this show fuckin’ awesome.”
The crew cheers, dying down quickly as Michael gives his thoughts, “We worked our asses off for this album, I don’t have any doubts about it. We got this, guys!”
The cheers resume as those with a drink take a celebratory sip before placing their empty cup on a surface near them.
Calum leaves your side to join Michael while Ashton heads to you.
“You excited?” he asks, putting his right arm around your shoulders with a large smile.
“Yeah!” you return the smile, “What about you? Nervous like the others?”
He shakes his head, crinkling his nose, “I’m not too nervous. I’m just happy to play again.”
You’re about to ask him what song he was the most excited to play, starting to get into the conversation but yet again you are interrupted by Rachel.
“Hey, Ash,” she greets him, Luke following close behind her as his arms make their way back around her shoulders again.
“Hi, Rachel,” Ashton nods his head at her – his eyes dance to Luke briefly before returning to Rachel’s, “didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Couldn’t miss your big show,” she smiles, looking up at her boyfriend as she pats his stomach.
Luke laughs, gently pushing her hand away from him, “I’m surprised, too—“ he grabs the guitar a crew member hands him, left arm lifting itself from Rachel’s shoulder as he slips the strap over his head, “—because her schedule did not look clear enough, but here she is.”
“Three minutes,” a different crew member rushes out, patting Luke and Ashton’s shoulders before rushing to tell the others.
“See you after,” Luke shifts his guitar away from Rachel before leaning down to kiss her on the lips – something you wish you didn’t see – and turning around to head out of the dressing room.
Ashton gives you a quick hug, “Excited for the lights,” he mumbles in your ear before turning to Rachel to give her a side hug.
It doesn’t go unnoticed how Rachel’s eyes glared at you by Ashton, but he doesn’t mention it as he heads out with the other guys towards the stage.
As a majority of the crew follow them out, you stay behind to clean up the empty cups and other trash, trying to occupy yourself as Rachel too stayed behind.
Her eyes followed you as you moved about the room, carrying the small plastic bag with you as it fills up with cups and wrappers. You could feel the glare burning into your side and back as you paid her no mind.
When it was just you two left, the bass from their opening song was heard and felt as you finished picking up the garbage.
“For how long have you liked Luke?”
You froze. Your head whipped towards Rachel, wide-eyed as you glanced around the room to make sure it was just the two of you.
“What…what are you talking about?” You can feel an extreme warmth rising up from the bottom of your back, all the way to your face, nervousness clouding your brain as she stares you down.
“Luke—,” she crosses her arms and moves to the couch, “how long have you liked Luke?”
“I don’t—I,” you stutter, your stomach dropping as you realize you’ve been caught.
His girlfriend knows you like him.
“Cut the bullshit,” she spits, “I can see it. You’ve been friends with him for years, you obviously caught feelings for him.”
You shake your head, standing up straight to give off the illusion of confidence. Turning your back to her and towards the door, “I don’t have to talk to you.”
You opted for walking out of the dressing room and go watch the band from the side of the stage, but you made a quick stop in the bathroom to splash cold water on your face.
You did what you could to avoid her during their performance. You knew she was watching you, seething at how you ended the conversation so fast.
Rachel wanted to break you down, find the reason why you like him and separate you two for as long as it takes to make him fall in love with her. She finds you a problem in their relationship because of how close you and Luke are, because of how long you’ve known each other. A threat to her and her relationship.
An hour and a half later, the show is finished and the whoops and cheers from the crowd indicate the album was very well received. That thought swept the interaction with Rachel from earlier under the rug as the boys’ adrenaline spread throughout the crew.
Ashton was first to greet you, sweaty and ready to envelop you in a hug but you’re quick to avoid it, ducking down just as his arms closed around the space where your head was. He laughs it off, heading for his next victim.
Next was Calum, who grabbed a drink from Andy and gulped it down. He had a smile on his face after, only growing wider when he saw you. “I think they liked it!”
“Bass in tune, huh?” you return, patting his back as he passes you to go to the next person.
Michael is the third, taking off his hat (which made you question why he was so worried about his hairstyle that he spent at least fifteen minutes playing with before the show). He stops in front of you, phone in hand as he takes a picture of the two of you: a tradition he started a few tours ago as a joke.
Finally, Luke makes his way towards you, ready to ramble about the show but is brisked away by Rachel. He doesn’t even glance over at you after he’s taken away towards the hall.
Entering the dressing room where the rest of the boys sat, you saw Michael talking animatedly on the phone, Calum laying across the couch with an arm over his eyes, and Ashton wiping off excess sweat with a towel. He was the first one to notice you.
“Ready for that hug?” he asks as you approach him.
“Why not.”
You hug each other, smiling as you pulled away. In the distance, over the cool-down music, you hear Luke’s laughter in the hall. Knowing he’s with Rachel makes you wonder if she’s told him about her suspicions, and that thought alone makes you clam up all over again.
Ashton immediately notices, tilting his head as he asks you what’s wrong.
“Nothing,” you quickly reply, eyes focusing on him.
He notices how jittery you seem, but he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable so he says nothing.
“Guys,” Andy comes in with his camera in hand, “we need to take a few photos.”
The three agree and follow the photographer out. You move to the snack table for a bottle of water, but before you can take a sip, someone clears their throat in the doorway.
You roll your eyes immediately because you know who it is. You don’t pay her any attention and instead take the sip of water you need.
“We need to finish that conversation you oh-so rudely ended,” Rachel moves into the room, keeping her voice down as she crosses her arms.
“We don’t need to finish anything.”
She scoffs, “I asked you a question, and you were so quick to avoid it. I think you’re proving a point.”
“What point?” you turn to look at her, “I know you don’t like me but I don’t know why, can we start with that?”
“Like I said before, I know you like Luke. He’s my boyfriend, and I don’t like how he’s close to you.”
“We grew up together,” you state, standing tall as you glare at her, “of course we’re going to be close.”
“Well I don’t like it,” she huffs.
You shake your head with a sigh, closing the lid to the bottle as you turn your back to her. You were getting angry at the fact that someone who didn’t know Luke as long as you did was hinting that you should stay away from him.
“Stop hanging out with him.”
A curt laugh escapes you before you can stop it, “Are you jealous of our friendship?”
“No,” she smirks, “but I know you’re jealous of our relationship.”
She’s right; you’re only a little jealous of their relationship, but it’s not something you want to risk your friendship with.
You open your mouth to defend yourself, but you’re caught off-guard when nothing comes out. The one opportunity to make her believe you don’t like her boyfriend and you can’t say anything.
Giving up with sinking shoulders, you glance at the door before looking back at her. Grimacing at her knowing smile, “How did you find out?”
She hums, “It was easy. I love him, so I know what it looks like to look at someone you love. You made it so obvious, I’m surprised no one else found out!”
You grit your teeth. You did your damn best to make sure no one, especially Luke or Rachel, know how you feel about him.
“I’m not intimidated by you,” she walks closer to you, arms uncrossing as her hands move to her hips, “but I won’t deny the fact that you and Luke have chemistry.”
“What will it take—” you place the bottle back on the table, “—for you to leave me alone?”
“Do the same to him.”
“What?”
“Leave him alone, unfriend him,” she shrugs, “simple as that.”
“That’s ridiculous,” you walk around her to the door, ready to end the conversation.
“Do that or I’ll tell him,” with a harsh tone she walks towards you, grabbing your arm to stop you from walking.
“You wouldn’t.”
“Okay,” another voice from the doorway makes the two of you jump, “that’s enough.”
Ashton walks into the room, grabbing Rachel’s hand and removing it from your arm.
“W—” she stutters out as she watches the tall man move to stand in front of you.
“I came back for my drumsticks—” his eyes shift to the object sticking out of his bag before dropping down to Rachel, “—but instead I find you, what, threatening a good friend of ours?”
Rachel is speechless while you’re frozen. It was embarrassing enough for one person to find out about your crush on Luke, but now Ashton might know and you want to go into hiding.
“Let it go,” you tug on Ashton’s shirt to get his attention but he doesn’t move.
“Telling someone who’s known your boyfriend longer than your relationship to just abandon him is low, Rachel. Don’t think the way you’ve been treating our friends has gone unnoticed.”
You hear more footsteps approaching the room, and now you wish the ground can swallow you up. You don’t want all this attention on you.
“What’s happening here?” Michael says as he peeks into the room, Luke behind him as Calum leans against the other side of the doorway.
“Nothing—,” Rachel tries to deflect but with four pairs of eyes on her, it becomes too much. Tears start pouring out, and you’re in disbelief.
How can she be the one crying after she was the one who was rude to you?
Luke immediately rushes in, creating a beeline right to her side to wrap her in his arms.
His eyes dart to yours, an emotion on his face of something you’ve never seen, but you know it’s not good.
“What did you do?”
You’re taken back by his tone and the way his angry eyes stare you down. It hurts because instead of staying neutral and finding out what exactly happened, he immediately chose a side: a side of someone he’s known for only for a short amount of time.
“Mate,” Ashton speaks up for you, “I think you’re asking the wrong person that.”
“No,” Luke’s voice raises, eyes moving from yours to stare into his band mate’s, “I’m asking the right person.”
You swallow the lump in your throat, your eyes welling with tears as the weight of everything happening within the last ten minutes starts to bring you down. Your eyes move away from the ones boring into yours, and with a tremble in your voice, “I didn’t do anything. She’s the one who started—.”
“Bullshit!” Luke’s roar cuts you off, “Absolute bullshit, because if she started it, then why is she the only one crying?!”
The two other guys move in to the room to mediate the situation.
“Luke, calm down,” Michael’s hands raise to the motion of ‘calm down’ as he tries to get Luke’s attention.
“There’s gotta be more to the story,” Calum moves to your side, checking on you briefly.
“Don’t,” Luke states as he watches Calum grab your shoulders to move you out of the room.
“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Ashton questions. He watches Luke soothingly rub Rachel’s back, wiping her tears with his free hand.
“My girlfriend is crying and you two were the only ones in here,” Luke replies, gently grabbing Rachel’s arms so he can look directly into her eyes, “what happened, babe?”
“I asked them—,” Rachel sniffles, continuing her façade, “—if they needed any help cleaning the room earlier and they yelled at—at me and told me to go away. Then after the show when you guys went for your photos, I came here to apologize to her, even though I didn’t do anything wrong.”
She was selling it; the tears, the sniffling, the stutters, and hiccups. A great actress who knows what she wants.
“That’s not true,” you inhale, your ears feeling warm and ringing, “she has had a problem with me lately and I don’t know why!”
Luke scoffs, shaking his head, wrapping Rachel in his arms again.
“C’mon,” Michael mumbles, wanting to leave the room.
Ashton turns around, watching your face go from pleading to blank as the tears fall from your eyes. He turns his head to face Luke, “You’re unbelievable,” he grabs your shoulders and starts to move you out of the room, “let’s go.”
Michael is already out of the room, the tension too much for him and ruining the after-show vibe. Calum is waiting by the door ready to help lead you out. Ashton has you turned around, pushing you towards the door.
“Wait, Luke,” you mumble, getting out of Ashton’s hold and turning back to face Luke.
He doesn’t look at you, sighing as he rubs Rachel’s head as it’s against his chest.
“Please,” you plead, begging him to look at you and when he does, you ask, “who do you believe?”
“What?”
“Who do you believe, Luke,” you gulp with a sniffle, “me or her?”
For a moment, you think you see hesitation. His jaw tenses as he stares you down, his best friend for years and someone he turned to when times got tough. He then looks down at the girl in his arms, someone he loves crying into his chest.
He sighs again, this time soft, before looking up to meet your eyes. He does notice the tears, the pain etched on your face as his other best friends watch them. “I believe Rachel.”
“This is fucking stupid,” Ashton mutters as he gently grabs your shoulders again to lead you out of the room.
You let the tears fall freely, not meeting any of the boys’ eyes as you kept your head face down.
You’ve lost your best friend. He chose someone else over you, a lie he chose to believe.
Whatever it was that made you catch feelings for your best friend, you wish you can find it and destroy it, along with any other memory you’ve made with him. After tonight, you want him erased from your cherished memories.
---
part two!
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thatsbucknasty · 3 years
Text
she used to be mine (xi) waitress au
summary: Inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.
pairing: Y/N x Bucky
tags are closed
author’s note: Alrighty guys, we’ve almost reached the end of this story. I hope you’re still reading, please tell me if you are!
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chapter 11: she used to be mine
I wake up startled by a searing throb down the side of my belly. I quickly remove the sheets and there’s no blood so I try to lift myself up from the bed and start walking to the kitchen to get my decaf ready. I remember Bucky talking about the Braxton-Hicks contractions in one of our appointments a couple weeks ago and he told me I should walk so I walk. I have one of Wanda’s pregnancy books that she keeps sending me and walk, walk, walk for what feels like hours, although it’s only been 15 minutes.
I see myself in the mirror and I can’t recognize myself. My body’s changed so much, I’m pretty sure I have a few more wrinkles around my eyes and a few more freckles from all the damn walking under the sun. But that’s not what bothers me the most about all these changes. I just don’t feel like the person I used to be. She was good, a bit messy but always kind, she had a lot more hope in life for herself and those around her. I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy, or the divorce, or everything combined that’s made this version of me so bitter. And this isn’t something I can fix with a little more butter and sugar, in fact I don’t think it can be fixed.
-
It’s been the longest week of my entire life. Old Nick and Sam collectively decided to gang up on me, and I feel Bucky had to do with it a little bit too. They forced me to go on a “stay-at-home-vacation” until the baby is born, which should be any day now, so I’m just here, alone on a Saturday morning, while everybody is working, Quentin is sleeping with that woman and hasn’t even bothered to call me or show any interest in either his unborn child or our imminent divorce.
This is boring, I feel useless and I need to get out of here. This house, this awful, lopsided couch, that crooked picture frame of me and Quentin at prom so many years ago. I want to throw all of it away and start fresh in a nice, picket white fence house, just me and my baby. Wanda and Nat would come visit and I would bake some of my “La vie on rose petals and vanilla ice cream pie”, we would have a no boys allowed day when it’s just us, and sitcoms, and I could have wine or coffee again, little peanut could have a puppy or a kitty to play with and I would give her all my love and we could be a real, whole family. If I wasn’t tied to this place, these curtains that never let any light on, that man who was always so violent and disgusting but only just showed his true self, maybe I could have that pastel colored life that I should deserve. But what if this is what I deserve?
-
I called Quentin six times this week. Matt finally was able to send me the divorce papers that I already signed, but that lying, cheating, bastard hasn’t sent them back to me and won’t even dare to answer my calls or texts. I cleaned every surface of this dingy house and put every item that reminded me of my screwed up marriage in a box outside for the garbage collector to take away. Quentin can buy new shirts and underpants, if he can’t answer the stupid phone I can throw away his stuff. I don’t even care anymore.
I find myself walking again but not around my kitchen. I’m waking to the diner cause I felt trapped in the house and I need to cook, something with lots of garlic or onions, I will call it “Wrecked home scrambled eggs pie” served with sauteed bell peppers on the side and a spicy sauce dripped on top of the crust. 
-
I go through the back door and into the kitchen before the girls see me, Sam reacts by giving me a side eye and continuing flipping the burgers he’s working on right now.
“Table 9 order’s ready!” Sam calls out and Wanda takes it.
“We have a pregnant lady in the back, stress baking”.
“I can hear you!”
“Alright good, well you shouldn’t be here. You’re lucky it’s a busy day so we can’t just drop everything and drive your ass back home where you should be!” Nat’s in the kitchen window scolding me now too, perfect. I knew this was coming and to be honest I prefer their banter than the deafening silence I felt at home.
“Just so you know, I’m texting Bucky and he’s coming over” Sam interjects.
“Wha- guys, I’m just baking one pie and then I’ll go, tell him he doesn’t have to come”.
“Why couldn’t you bake this one pie at home then?” Wanda asks with genuine curiosity in her voice.
I decide to be truthful.
“I felt trapped and lonely, I missed the diner. Plus I didn’t have any bell peppers at home and I was craving them”.
They all look at me weirdly, there’s no pity in their eyes, there’s just… tenderness.
-
Bucky arrives an hour after I got here, with a stern face and his lab coat still clinging to his frame.
“Hey, what’s up, sweetheart? You’re supposed to be resting”. He rubs my shoulders and all I can think is how grateful I am for this little family and this man life blessed me with.
I explain how awfully sad and stressed I was feeling at home and he takes a seat between me and Steve, who’s eating a slice of pie while Wanda’s showing him what she calls “satisfying cleaning Tik Toks”, and Sam’s chatting with Nat about a concert he’d like to take her to next week. Everything about this feels so calm and I’m even starting to feel sleepy with Bucky’s skilled hands rubbing my knotted neck and shoulders.
“Well, well, well. Look who’s decided to finally stop being a fucking hypocrite! It’s Y/N and the stupid fucking Doctor. Tell me, Doc, did you enjoy gazing at her lady parts when she’d go for a “check up” and fell in love because you too are lame and boring?”
I grab Bucky’s hand and stand between him and Quentin, using my other hand to protect my belly.
“What the hell are you doing here, Quentin? You’re not welcome here anymore”. I say, head up high but voice trembling.
“Came home to drop your divorce papers- that I’m not signing by the way- and to tell you to fuck off because whether you like it or not, I’m gonna be a father and you can’t do anything about it baby girl. It’s you and me! It’s always gonna be you and me, so tell you precious Doctor and your friends goodbye. We’re coming home!”
Quentin grabs my hand and tries to yank me away from Bucky but before I can do anything else Steve and Sam are already punching the shit out of Quentin, sitting him down on the floor and pushing his arms around his back. Bucky is taking me away from the fight, shielding my eyes from the view, he knows I don’t need this kind of stress. Nat called the cops when Quentin arrived, knowing the asshole would pull out a stunt like this. Minutes pass and I can’t step away from Bucky’s embrace to see his ass handcuffed and thrown into the police’s back seat.
Bucky takes a step back to look at my face as he feels me trembling and his shirt soaked with my tears.
“Y/N, sweetheart, it’s over. He’s gone”.
I try to form words but then it hits me.
The pain.
This is not what I asked for.
The excruciating cramp-like aches in my lower stomach.
If I’m honest, I’d give this life back for a chance to start over.
The water running down my legs.
I would rewrite the story, from beginning to end.
I can’t feel my legs. All I feel is fear, pain and anger.
This is the life that I’m bringing you into, little girl. I’m so sorry. To you, but also to the little girl I once was. Because she also deserved a good life and she’s gone, but she used to be mine.
chapter 12: contraction ballet
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anxiousstark · 4 years
Text
The times you wanted to cry in front of JJ but held back, and the time you didn't | JJ MAYBANK
Warnings: Sad, angst, mentions of a loved one dying, physical and emotional abuse, anxiety. Kiara and Sarah were already friends. FLUFFLY AND HAPPY ENDING.
Word Count: 2648
All Rights Reserved. The author, me, don’t allow any type of copy or adaption.
If you guys see my works in other websites, let me know, please. I only have Tumblr.
BIG MASTERLIST
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Laugher surrounded you. Normally, that would be something you loved, making you feel embraced by a peaceful environment. The Wreck was empty, except for the pogues enjoying a friendly night, full of laughter, delicious food, and kindness.
Usually, you cherished those nights. They would end with Kiara Carrera, Sarah Cameron, and you, Y/N Y/L/N dancing on top of a table while the three boys grinned, betting on who would slip first. But also, preparing to get into action, to avoid someone getting hurt.
Except that night wasn't like every night. Your hands shook a little, gripping your phone tightly. Your eyes moved along that sentence, over and over again, in case you read wrong.
'Grandma passed away.'
Your parents were harsh on you. Every Kook parent was harsh on their child. But your parents had an important role that they had to maintain, being the ones in charge of every Midsummer. They needed to keep up with their perfect image, which meant that you had to keep up with it too. Even if it was too much.
Your grandmas was an exception, a lovely one. She believed in love, actually falling in love. She didn't like it when parents tried to search the 'perfect one' for their children, that perfect one being someone full of shitty money. She believed in freedom. She was the only person you went to when you couldn't cope up with some situations. She was always there, arguing with your parents, and swearing to all the gods and goddesses that you wouldn't end up being a stuck Kook married with someone who loved your status, and not your persona.
But now, she wasn't there anymore. She was gone.
You wanted to cry, you wanted to sob violently, and be embraced by your friends. And even if things weren't going to be okay, you wanted to hear them whisper that to you. But you didn't.
When Kiara's dad entered The Wreck because he had forgotten his wallet, his eyes spotted you, offering a sad smile. "Hey, Y/N. I'm so sorry." He walked to you, embracing you for a couple of seconds. Someone had turned the music off, and every pogue's attention was on you. "Bless her. She was an amazing woman. I'm so sorry for your loss."
You bit your lower lip, hoping that if you bit down on it hard enough, it would stop shaking. "Thank you," You whispered, trying to maintain a tiny smile on your beautiful face.
"Your grandma," He continued. "Best woman I've known. If you need anything, you can always come here." He waved, exiting the restaurant.
All eyes were on you, but you didn't break down. No. You didn't. Teary eyes were nothing if you smiled like everything was okay. Everyone would believe you were okay, right?
"I'm so sorry for your loss." Kiara was the first one to break the silence, then all of the others gave you their blessings, asking if you were alright. Everyone knew how much you loved that woman. Everyone knew you would do the craziest things for her.
To all the questions, you smiled, nodding your head and assuring your friends that everything was just fine. "She is in a better place," No, that was a lie. There was no better place for her than next to you. The person who loved her the most.
Everyone would believe you were okay? No, JJ Maybank knew you like the back of his hand. But he didn't say anything, just rested his hand on your back, rubbing his thumb in circles, hoping to offer comfort. You, again, smiled.
That was the first time you wanted to cry in front of JJ but held back.
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Walking was hard, but you still tried to walk as you normally did. All pogues were to meet on the beach. It was the perfect day to get some amazing waves, to surf, to eat delicious and fresh food, to joke around, to make unforgettable memories.
You already had some unforgettable memories that day, but not the kind you wanted to remember, the kind you wanted to erase from your mind.
When you arrived at the beach everyone was there. The blonde boy waved at you, of course, waiting for you to go closer to them. When you did, they greeted you. It didn't matter how long you all knew each other, the excitement was always there.
It was a nice morning. Until it was time to go into the water, you didn't want to. That is why, you had left your surfboard at home, hiding in the corner of your room. But of course, you hadn't thought about how JJ always had a board prepared for if someone forgot theirs.
"I'm okay, really," Lying became easy as time went by. "I don't feel like getting into the water. That time of the month." You rested your hand on the lower part of your belly while lying again.
"But you love surfing," JJ stayed back for a couple of seconds while the others were already shouting happily, getting into the water, and splashing each other. John B grabbed Kiara, pulling her down while Pope told them not to play so roughly because someone would end up getting hurt. "You want me to stay with you?"
"No," You grinned. "Go into the ocean! That I'm not going to surf doesn't mean I don't want to see the coolest surfer in the Outer Banks."
He smirked, getting distracted from the previous conversation due to the flirty friendship you guys had. "I never knew you were THAT much in love with me. Do you have dirty dreams about me at night?" He licked his lower lip while grinning.
Your hand grabbed some sand, throwing it at him. "Go!"
He didn't go. He continued staring at you, deeply. "Are you sure you are okay?" You nodded your head which didn't convince him much. "You know that if you need to talk to someone, I'm here. We all are."
"JJ," You whispered. "I wouldn't lie to you. I'm okay. Just hate being a woman one time a month." You chuckled when he pulled a disgusted expression.
Looking at him run towards the others, the smile on your face vanished. Your tummy was full of red and purple marks, all given to you by your father. Rafe Cameron had given away to your parents that you considered yourself a pogue, escaping your house and meeting with the people you truly loved, and that loved you back. Your dad didn't like that, and everyone that knew him in a more personal way knew that he couldn't control his temper. He was the reason your brother abandoned the Outer Banks years ago.
You used to hate him for leaving you there with him. But now, you would stand in silence, receiving those punches if it meant that at the end of the day, you would be able to see your friends. To see JJ Maybank.
That was the second time you wanted to cry in front of JJ but held back.
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You tried not to play with the fork, knowing that it was bad manners and that you would get a kick from under the table by your mom. You were hungry but also tried not to eat much because there were visitors, and your mom tried to convince you that a woman should not eat much in front of a man they are trying to impress. Bullshit. But you had to do it if you wanted to go to sleep without any bruise.
You weren't trying to impress anyone. Your parents wanted to impress the Cameron family. Sarah and you didn't look at each other, knowing that Rafe would be asshole enough to reveal how both of you knew each other because you went out with the pogues. Even though, he had already revealed that information to your parents.
"You two look so lovely," Your mom grinned, while Rafe's father nodded his head. "I'm so glad both of you had decided to go out together!" What?
What?
"What?" The mere question escaped from in between your lips. "I didn't-" You felt a kick under the table, you mom was glaring at you while your eyes got teary.
"Baby," She grinned wickedly. "Last night, you told me you had a big crush on Rafe. I know you are shy about these things, so I told him myself!"
"Woah," Rafe's dad intervened. Although, your eyes were on your mom, feeling completely disgusted by the lie she told. "It so amazing that you guys have such a close relationship."
No, you didn't. You guys didn't have a close relationship. You could never be close to someone who walked away when her husband beat the shit out of her own daughter.
They were arranging a relationship between Rafe Cameron and you. If your grandma was there, she wouldn't let that happen. But she wasn't which meant you were going to end up dating Rafe Cameron. Which meant you had to hide your feeling for JJ Maybank, again.
That night, JJ called your phone. He told you about how he had found this cute little puppy on the street, convincing John B to let him keep it. You almost cried while listening to his voice. Of course, you didn't.
That was the third time you wanted to cry in front of JJ but held back.
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A red velvet dress embraced your body, arms full of goosebumps. You weren't sure if those were because you were a little cold due to the chilly night or because of the situation. It was your birthday, and you wanted to celebrate it. You wanted to go out with the pogues, swim, dance, or even just not do anything but be with them. But of course, you weren't allowed to.
The situation was even more shitty. Your parents had taken your phone, not giving it back, claiming that now that you were with Rafe Cameron it was even more important to be far from 'those stupid non-deserving pogues'. It had been weeks since you saw or talked to them. They didn't know what was going on.
You had ignored Kiara when she saw you shopping with Sarah. The Cameron girl swore not to say a word, even though she believed that it would hurt them even more. You had pushed John B out of the way when he saw you the other day, walking with some other Kooks, something you would never do. You had insulted Pope when he stopped-by your house to deliver some things. And a couple of days ago, Rafe Cameron had kissed you on the lips when he saw that JJ Maybank was walking to you, worriedly because you had been missing from all the pogues meeting.
So now, you were in the middle of Midsummer's party, eyes lost. The pogues probably hated you, not understanding your change of behavior. The hand that was resting on your lower back wasn't the one you wanted. And the eyes of your parents burned holes on the back of your head. Midsummer's were more important than your birthday. Not even your parent had wished you a happy birthday. Not Rafe Cameron, even though you didn't need anything from him. Not the pogues, and they had a valid reason not to. Multiple reasons not to.
Sarah did, but because she knew what was going on.
Kiara avoided you all night, not even daring to glance at you. Pope was helping his father serve food, and even when he went near you, offering food or drinks, he didn't look up to meet your eyes.
You didn't expect John B and JJ to appear at the Midsummer party. JJ's face was bruised, and your heart ached because you were always the first one to know about those things, but this time you weren't. The guards were already prepared to kick both boys out of the party.
Sarah and Kiara looked at each other, running toward both boys, hugging them closely. You couldn't help but smile a little when you saw the happiness on their faces. Especially, on JJ Maybank.
Pope glanced at his father, apologizing, and following his friends. All of them ready to leave.
Your grin vanished. Gaze focused on the floor. "I will be back. I need to retouch my makeup." You told Rafe, moving his hand away from your waist. You needed to go to the bathroom. You couldn't hold back the tears anymore. A hand grabbed your wrist, and it seemed like the music was lower, whispers louder. "Rafe, I really need to go to the bathro-."
Not Rafe Cameron, but JJ Maybank.
"Come," He swallowed hard. Your tongue came out of your mouth, licking your lips, even though it didn't work because your mouth was totally dry. "Come back to us." You heard Rafe call your name, and telling JJ to step away from you. "Come back to me, please." You couldn't hide his teary eyes, and neither could you.
"Y/N Y/L/N," Your dad. You flinched when hearing his voice. You avoided JJ's gaze. "Get away from him."
You clutched JJ's hand, lessening his grip on you. Turning around, taking a step to go back to where your parents were looking at you angrily.
"We came for you," His voice made you stop. "We came for you because Sarah told us this morning what was going on. You don't have to do this anymore. No one will do anything to you. You can come back to us. We want you back."
Your father grabbed his keys, knowing that was a warning. It wouldn't be the first time he punched you with those keys between his knuckles to make more damage. "I-I don't want to go back. I'm okay, JJ."
You heard him walk away from you, again. Your back still to him. A shiver ran through your body while staring at your parents. Your dad was smiling victoriously. You shook your head. Now, he was screaming your name. But you were too busy running toward your friends, who turned around. All of them had teary eyes because they thought they lost you.
Kiara was the first one to see you, smiling. Tears wetting her cheeks. Her hand rested on JJ's shoulder, he confused looked at her, then followed her gaze to look at you. Your face was wet, some makeup running down your cheeks. But you looked beautiful. You looked beautiful because you were running back to his arms. When he had you between his arms, he could feel the violent sobs shaking your entire body.
"Why didn't you tell me?" He cried. "You didn't have to be strong. You didn't have to be strong alone. You had us." He whispered. "You have us."
"I'm sorry." You wanted to say so many things, but those were the most important ones. You needed to apologize. Eyes closed while sobbing hysterically.
"Let me see your face," JJ was also crying. He tried to move you apart from his body so he could see your face, but you tightened your arms around him, even your legs. His hands grabbed your butt, keeping your legs around his waist, supporting you. "Let me see your face because I want to kiss you so bad."
And he did. JJ Maybank kissed you like this was a film or a book. He let his lips command yours, and he couldn't hold back when his tongue desperately needed to touch yours. "I love you. It's always been you." You let him know when both of you needed to breathe.
"I love you too," He happily cried. "I'm so in love with you."
The Pogues went close to both of you, gripping their arms around you. Sobbing. Crying. Weeping.
That was the time you wanted to cry in front of JJ, and you did.
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Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳
Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?
🤗🌺💐🐰💕
Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3
lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD
I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.
So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.
I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.
Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".
In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.
Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.
Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.
Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.
He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.
So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.
I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.
I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.
In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!
Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).
It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao
As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.
I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.
Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.
P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.
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studioxlii · 3 years
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18 and Junhee pls!! Xx
"to be fully seen by somebody, then, be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous."
proof read: kinda
warnings: none
note(s): the format might be garbage, im mobile.
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Love is a weird thing but so are the conditions that come with it; the limits that people decide need to be in place. You understood boundaries or not wanting to take too many steps before you knew the relationship would hold but some things never sat right with you. It took a few years but it wasn't until you overheard some of your project group talking that it finally hit you; most people you knew didn't want to date their best friends for two reasons.
1. It could ruin their friendship. This reason was obvious and of course you understood.
2. They'd seen way too much.
You remember hearing those words and your head lifting, confused and wondering what that could even mean. When you were in a relationship that would eventually progress, weren't they just going to see those things anyway? You never could let that thought go, not once you decided that would only make it better; it would make a relationship stronger. Well, in your eyes.
Dating was something that seemed to come easier to you before those thoughts started polluting your mind; no one seemed to understand or see you in a way you really wanted. The ideal person for you was someone who saw everything; the bad days, the good days and the maybe okay but not so great days. It was really starting to mess with you. By not wanting to date certain friends, were you restricting yourself from the relationship you really wanted?
Only one person, one friend, knew you better than you knew yourself, you were positive of that. Your best friend of nine years, Junhee, had probably been through almost every bad thing possible in life with you. You began recalling all the situations you'd been in with each other that were memorable; the things you wouldn't have faced with anyone else because you didn't want anyone else to see.
'Do you remember when you got your belly button pierced?'
And that's when it began.
The question came out of nowhere, breaking the silence of your apartment and leaving Junhee to look up from his book confused and blinking. 'Uh.. yes?' His response came out slow, hesitant like he was missing some weird in-between the lines meaning of the question.
Your head tilted, finally looking over at him. 'Do you remember the way you squeezed my hand to the point it was purple because it hurt so bad you nearly passed out?'
His features flushed at the ridiculous memory being forced back into his head. 'You mean the same day you had to cling to me, crying because your first tattoo felt like your leg was being seared off?'
You hated crying in front of people for any reason but you couldn't go alone; you'd never go alone for something like that. You just nodded in response before returning to your own book, continuing to read like you hadn't brought the subject up at all.
Your first date after you began recalling things and getting far too deep in what could only be sentimental thoughts went okay. A friend of your friend's, Sehyoon, who was an art major and knew of you but didn't know you; he'd never really integrated himself into the small friend circle on campus but Byeongkwan spoke highly of him.
He was sweet; a gentleman. Pretty much anything you could really ask for but you noticed little things; minute things that didn't even matter. You felt like you were being unreasonable or judgmental despite only picking out things that didn't match. Didn't match what, exactly?
He wasn't Junhee.
The realization had you suddenly shooting up from your seat, interrupting the poor male's answer to your question about his major and spilling out several apologies as you even fought to put money down for your own food. It took quite a few more 'I'm really sorry's before you were speeding out of the small restaurant; you'd make sure to call him later.
You found yourself in the only place that made sense: banging hard on the door of the RA for your building, hardly caring if you disturbed anyone else.
'What?' was the greeting you received from a very frustrated Donghun, wanting nothing more than to be left alone again. And yes, you called each other your friend.
'We have a really, really big problem.'
Being a mutual friend and despite not wanting to get involved in anyone's "drama", he spent two hours talking you out of it, down from it and against it, reminding you just why your newfound feelings for your best friend were a problem. He even reminded you of your comment, three years ago, about how you could never possibly like Junhee; how he remembered that and you didn't, you didn't care to ask.
You returned home a wreck, tired and wanting to burn your own emotions. Were you really uncovering some unconsciously buried feelings or did you just like the fact that he /saw/ you? He'd seen you nearly on your deathbed sick.
He'd seen you living in a depression nest for two weeks, barely able to get out a bed and eating nothing but honey buns and cereal.
He'd seen you grieve family members and pets; seen you walk into the rain and scream at the top of your lungs because of how lost in despair you'd been.
He'd seen you drunk and stupid; he'd seen you the night after a one night stand and hungover to the point you wanted to fight the sun.
He'd sat by you absolutely throwing your guts up.
He had seen every single side of you and you'd seen the same from him but it only started to stack further and further.
You knew his favorite songs because God forbid he only have one. You knew his favorite color, favorite food and his weird retirement plan that involved a tiny petting zoo of his own that he refused to just call a farm. Your pins for everything were each other's birthdates and he was the only other name on your bank account. Why?
Staring down at the menu you'd seen over a hundred times, you were sure, you couldn't decide on just what sounded good and part of you just wanted everything. Those moments staring at words that started to blur, you noticed Junhee hadn't touched his menu and kept shifting around, visibly uncomfortable for reasons you couldn't possible figure out.
'It's unlike you to not be going off about the food here.. or already having ordered your favorite drink that, I recall, you said you'd die without if you didn't have it every time you came here,' you began, closing the menu and setting it down with narrowed eyes, 'what's going on?'
'It's stupid. Just.. order and get some food, I'll probably just eat later. I'm not really hungry.'
That was a bold faced lie and you knew it, the concern growing. 'And, what's the oh-so-stupid reason, exactly?'
It took him a minute, shifting more and acting like a child who had gotten in trouble. 'I, uh.. I can't really..' he gestured around, lips pursed and growing even more upset by the second, you could tell by the way he was trying to stop himself from frowning. 'Can't really afford it.' You were college students, it wasn't the world's biggest secret if you couldn't afford something.
'Do you really think I'm just going to eat in front of you?' You snorted, avoiding any comment that would further his being upset over the situation, 'Don't worry about it and order, okay?'
Financial struggles were no quiet matter between the two of you and never had been since you started school. Junhee lived off campus in an apartment with two shitty roommates, a terrible part time job and parents that pretty much didn't care if he perished on the side of the street somewhere. You, on the other hand, which you didn't like bringing up, were doing fine but only because your parents dropped something of an 'allowance' into your account for foods and necessities.
You ignored his attempt to argue and told him if he didn't order something, you were going to do it for him; he shut up.
The next day, you took a trip to the bank.
You could feel eyes on you as you splayed across the couch, staring at the ceiling and contemplating life and all of it's annoyances. No question left you but even if you wanted to say something, you were cut off.
'So, are you going to tell me what's going on? For the past.. three weeks? You've been asking me all sorts of weird stuff,' Junhee inquired, frowning thoughtfully, 'Are you testing me or something? Trust me, yes, I remember every single second I've spent with you. I remember every word you've said, the names of every guy you've been with and the ones I'd like to fight. I remember every birthday and gift I've given you and the ones you've given me. Yes, I remember your favorite things and everything so, what's the deal?'
It sounded sentimental at first but then you noticed that all too familiar waiver in his voice and out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his hands fiddling with the chain bracelet that had adorned his wrist for five years; he wanted to cry. A crying Junhee was something no one ever wanted on your hands and you briefly recalled a phone call from a very panicked Byeongkwan because of just that but you were letting your thoughts get off topic.
'I think I'm in love with you.'
'If you don't want to be fri-'
You were both cut off as your head turned to finally look at him, soaking in the unreadable expression on his features when someone busted through the door; 'Look!'
Both of you looked towards your two friends that invited themselves into your door, one holding a new cat and the other looking just as pleased with the announcement but it gradually dropped. 'Shit, did we interrupt something?' Of course, you always knew when you finally and truly confessed to someone that it would be Byeongkwan who ruined the whole thing; you used it as an escape, though, reminding yourself of what the confession could do to your friendship.
'New minion, I see,' you chimed, sitting up and ignoring the question, both of them, as you rose to greet Donghun's new pet. You were ignorant to the looks shared between the three boys and you were happy about that.
Now, you just had to avoid it ever coming up again until it was forgotten.
Junhee, however, didn't want that to happen.
After about an hour of chitchatting and ignoring the gaze of your best friend, you excused yourself under the excuse of having a meetup for a class, despite it being your dorm, and managed to weasel your way out. There was really nowhere to go, no one to talk to and you surely didn't have any plans for the next week; you ended up at the café on campus. It was quiet and filled mostly with a few students doing work and the two members of staff behind the counter, one eventually joining you at the table. He didn't say anything, waited for you to stop your dramatic Disney scene and acknowledge him.
'Would you date me, Yu?'
Taken a bit off guard, he ended up snorting. 'I can't tell if this is a trap or you want the genuine answer,' he replied, crossing his arms atop the table, 'but, on the hand that it's serious.. probably. I mean, I definitely wouldn't turn you down. We've known each other for a few years, hang out on a regular basis.. get along and have a lot of similar interests. So, yeah.'
The answer made your lips draw into a deep frown and you tapped your fingers against the cup, soaking up every word. 'Even though we're friends? What if we broke up?'
A soft 'ah' came from him as he realized what was really going on and he shrugged, thinking it over for a minute or two. 'We're both adults and I don't believe either of us would do something so that the breakup would be something that could ruin our friendship. I understand it would be like.. friends then it being intimate then back to friends, but I think both of us are mature enough to deal with that and not let it bother us too much.' He spoke like he'd been through it several times and in reality, it had only been once, a small fling with a mutual friend but they still seemed pretty okay. 'Is this about Jun?'
'Does everyone know?' You groaned out, releasing the cup to lean back and rub your hands over your face in defeat, 'I.. I told him I think I love him then Kwan and Donghun showed up and I bailed because now I don't actually want to face him or admit to ever actually saying it. I do! I do love him! I don't.. I don't want to lose him, you know?'
You could see the way the latter looked at you, sympathetic and calculating what words wouldn't just stress you out further. 'Look.. I know you don't want to hear it from me or anyone else for that matter because you want to keep saying it'll ruin your friendship when in reality, you don't like the idea that you could hurt each other, I was the same way with Donghun, so I understand.. but, you should really see all this from an outsider's point of view. Junhee looks at you like you hung the moon and you look at him like he painted the stars; yes, it's been like that since I've met you and a reminder, it's been years. I don't know what took you so long to realize it or if you've just avoided it this whole time but anyone would have to be blind not to see it. Now,' he sighed deeply as he finished and straightened, 'I think you should probably go and talk to him about it considering you just confessed then ditched but it's your choice. I don't think you have anything to worry about.. for either of you. You're the most loyal person I know, so I have no doubt you'd ever hurt him in a way that would ruin you guys and he can barely swat at a fly or sit still through hearing thunder, you think he's going to do something? Regardless.. one of these days, soon, you'll have to face it and I really hope you don't go into it with the cliché reason of your friendship being ruined.'
The words sank in slow and you wanted nothing but to cry your eyes out because he was right; he always was and you hated it. It took a while for you to speak and he seemed okay with that, briefly leaving you to fill a couple orders before returning. 'I know you're leaving for break tomorrow.. tell him before then.' Those were his last words before he bid you good luck and a good night, heading back to his own dorm, most likely to call Donghun now that he'd projected just a little bit.
Irrationality was a word that would be in your character description box and the word stupid could very well be right next to it because when you got home, you packed your bag and decided to leave early, not bothering to let any of your friends know. You needed time and you were being selfish, so selfish to the point you thought maybe he'd just hate you when you got back.
Oh boy were you wrong.
Two days into being back home and confiding in your mother who promptly smacked you upside the back of the head, you found yourself sitting on the porch and moping, split between what to do. You suspected the boys were a bit angry with you when you noticed the ample amount of texts, voicemails, social messages and phone calls that had gone ignored; you caught a glimpse of the absolute book Yuchan took the time to send you, leaving you kind of scared to even open it. It didn't take long for the guilt to set in but you chose to wait until you were back on campus to deal with it.
Or at least, that was your plan.
'So, I know you've never been a fan of confrontation but.. you've never been the type to run away.'
The sudden voice startled you as you hadn't even noticed anyone pull up and of course, upon looking up, you were met with the face you were trying to avoid the most. Junhee stood at the end of the sidewalk looking pitiful and shifting his weight in a nervous manner. You didn't bother trying to speak, not knowing what to say but you did wait for the rant, the berating that you deserved; that wasn't who he was though.
He even stayed quiet for a minute or two, making his way closer to sit on the steps, looking up towards your figure. 'Did you mean it?'
You could have answered right away, poured your heart out and let out the tears you'd been holding in since the moment you left. Instead, you stayed quiet and pulled your knees closer to your chest, not trusting your own voice. He didn't relent though, reaching out to lightly nudge your knee.
'That's all I need to know.. did you mean it? If.. if you didn't I can just leave and we don't have to bother with it again.'
'And, if I did..?' Finally finding your voice, you looked over to him, chewing hard on your lower tier, nervous and kind of wanting to throw up.
You could see him thinking it over before a faint smile showed up. 'I'd most likely cry.. but I'm going to cry either way,' he began, shrugging his shoulders while moving up to sit next to you, 'I'd also tell you that I love you, too and I've been trying to tell you that for years now.'
The confession made your heart flutter, your skin burn and the butterflies being kept back burst in delight in your gut. 'Even.. after everything we've been through? Everything you've seen..?'
Junhee nodded. 'Mhm. I'd go through it all again and what do you mean? I've seen nothing but you.'
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mistflyer1102 · 3 years
Text
lesson
Summary: While waiting for Q, Bond teaches the techs a thing or two about improvisation.
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“You ask him.”
“No, you ask him! You’ve been here longer!”
“Which is why I’m smart enough not to take that bet.”
Bond tilted his head as he calmly walked up to one group of huddled techs smack dab in the middle of Technical Services in Q-Branch. He wasn’t even trying to be discreet -- Marcela even looked up and waved when she saw him -- but none of the other techs seemed to notice, intently focused on something in the middle of the table. He slowed down though, when Marcela detached herself from the group and walked over, smiling cheerfully. Not an emergency then, given that it’s actually quiet and calm for once, he mused to himself as he stopped in front of Marcela. “Good morning, am I interrupting something? Q left something at home, thought I would drop it off for him,” he said gesturing to the knot of techs that were now all standing stiff.
“Nope, they’re just figuring out whether to make bets on one of the double-ohs,” she said, smiling as she shrugged her shoulders. As third-in-command of the branch, Bond knew she had seen and heard all in Q-Branch. Betting on Double-Os did not faze her very much anymore. “Anyway, Q is in a meeting right now with the R&D guys, do you want me to take whatever it is he forgot and hold onto it?” she offered, extending a hand.
Bond shook his head. “Thank you, but I’m not in a rush. And I’m intrigued by this bet. Which agent are they betting on and about what?” he asked, glancing over at the knot of techs. He could see that one or two were already trying to discreetly, casually, shuffle away from the group.
Marcela arched a brow at him.
Oh.
Bond inclined his head at her before moving towards the group. Some of them had to be new, the veterans knew he wouldn’t actually do anything to them. Well, nothing to warrant a stern reprimand from Q, which was just about anything and everything. Only Q could get away with giving Bond shit, which he did more often than his techs actually knew. “Good morning ladies and gentlemen,” Bond said, leaning in between the techs closet to him. There were numerous squeaks of surprise and murmured hellos as they shifted slightly in place to give him room. “So, enlighten me. What are we talking about? Something that the benevolent overlord shall not hear about?” he asked, grinning when a few techs blinked at him in surprise. They had to be new, all of Q’s staff knew that Bond knew the in-house nickname for Q.
For a moment, no one spoke. Bond could almost see them silently debating who was going to deal with the Double-O at their table. “Um, no, I guess not? It’s, uh, really not that important, or work-related, anyway,” one of the techs -- definitely a newcomer, Bond didn’t recognize him -- said finally, gesturing to the tabletop. Bond looked down to see a few innocuous items, including a pencil, a sheet of paper, a ceramic saucer, a rubber band, and a set of car keys. The tech shifted uncomfortably when Bond looked back up at him. “Well, Max and I are new to the Technical Services Station, we just started last week, and a bunch of the others are saying that double-ohs can weaponize anything you give them. I, er, we don’t quite know what to think, or believe,” the tech admitted, scratching the back of his neck as Bond hummed thoughtfully.
“And you’re betting that I can or can’t weaponize everything on this table?” Bond asked, picking up the keys to study them. He was mildly annoyed to find that the car manufacturer was not emblazoned on the main key as it usually was.
Another tech said, “Well, we can kind of guess on the pencil, I’m Max by the way, that’s Eddie. Anyway, we can guess that the pencil, you can just throw it like a dart at someone,” Max said, gesturing to the first tech before leaning on the table. “But...yeah, the Quartermaster complains every now and then that he can’t give you guys anything because it ends up wrecked somehow, and I didn’t think that it was possible to do that with every little thing in existence. So we pooled these items as examples.”
Bond nodded. “Well, you can also stick the pencil into a space where it doesn’t belong, mechanical gears are the usual place since it jams everything up. Did that to an alarm clock once, that was also the one and only time Q ever overslept to date as an MI6 employee,” he said, setting the pencil down. “But imagine doing that to a car, or some overly large weapon.”
The techs nodded, one of them grimacing.
“Keys...keys are useful as weapons on their own, and for the cars they usually work for,” he said, turning to Marcela, who was tapping something out on her tablet. “Where did you get these? Is Q hiding a new prototype from me?”
“No, they are replacement keys for my car, and I was the only one in the group who had their keys with them. Please don’t wreck my car, I really like it,” Marcela said, not looking up from her work.
Bond set the keys back down on the table next to the pencil. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to touch your car. Promise,” he said, crossing his heart with a finger as Marcela glanced up at him. “Employee cars are off-limits.”
She blinked.”Really? I actually didn’t know that.”
Bond nodded. “The only employee car I’m allowed to drive is Q’s, and that’s in emergencies only,” he said, picking up the saucer. He held it up for the techs to see. “Useful for either causing distractions, or for buttering Q up if you want something from him. He normally drinks his tea in that Scrabble mug of his, but if you really want to up the ante a bit, bring it to him in a teacup and saucer when he’s sitting down for a meeting with the other department heads. Almost works every time.”
Eddie frowned. “Wait, what do you mean by ‘almost’?” he asked, resting his hands on the table.
Bond said, “Q got even more irritated with me once when I did that because it was more of an apology than a bribe.” He set the saucer down, and then reached for the rubber band. “I don’t think I need to go into the applications of all this, but it’s good for keeping doors closed enough that no one can immediately crash in when you’re working, but should only be used as a last resort. It’s also good for securing the plastic wrap around the laundry detergent to lessen the mess when one of the cats knocks the container down off the machine,” he said, turning the rubber band over in his hands.
“Don’t you have a cap to the container, sir?”
Bond said, “We had a cap, it disappeared one day. When small items disappear in our flat with two cats around, you have to accept the fact that you’re never going to see it again.” He set the rubber band back down, and he didn’t miss the sense of anticipation suddenly heightening as he picked up the sheet of paper. “This… this you can just straight up set on fire and go from there,” he said, grinning as the techs blinked, and began to mutter amongst themselves. Bond glanced over his shoulder, and then grinned when he saw who was approaching them.
Eddie raised his hands. “Yeah, yeah, I should have thought of that,” he admitted, taking a step back as Bond handed him the piece of paper. “Okay, Max, you win, you win,” he said, grinning as he handed a few quid over to Max, who cackled as he pocketed the money.
“What is going on over here?”
Abrupt silence fell over the group as Q appeared, still looking a little grumpy from the meeting. Only Bond and Marcela didn't react, Bond grinning at Q as Marcela continued tapping away at her tablet. Q stared at the items on the table, and then turned to Bond. “Please...I do not know what you are doing here, but I want this branch to be standing by the end of the day.”
“And it will, we were just settling a bet,” Bond replied. “Nothing is getting destroyed today, promise. I just came by to drop off your tea tin, the one you brought home last night to refill,” he said, offering the tin to Q. “Nothing is broken, and the cats are fine.”
Q studied him suspiciously, and then glanced at his techs, who discreetly dispersed back to their work stations. Then he nodded. “Thank you, James, for bringing me this. I need it, especially since I’m about to go into a budget meeting with M and the Treasury. If you decide to stay here, please stay out of the techs’ way, let them do their job, and do not make a nuisance of yourself,” he said, smiling at Bond before his attention strayed back to his phone.
Bond swept a mock bow as Q turned to leave. “Of course, my Quartermaster.”
He laughed when Q flipped him off over his shoulder.
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thatshithurted8 · 4 years
Text
Daredevil
Summary: In which JJ tries to save readers life after they get fatally hurt wiping out surfing.
Word Count: 1.6k
Warnings: Mention of drowning, severe injury and death.
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“Are you guys coming?” You ask while walking out of the washroom in John B’s chateau. You just changed into your bikini. 
“I have a shift at the Wreck.” Kiara says getting up from the couch and getting ready to leave. 
You look at your guy friends and boyfriend expectantly. “I don’t know Y/N last time I went surfing before a storm I wiped out badly, but if you guys go I’ll just watch.” Pope says while playing with his hat. 
“You know I’m always coming.” JJ says wrapping his arms around you from behind, leaving wet kisses on the nape of your neck. 
John B groans and rolls your eyes, “Let’s get going before JJ’s dick changes his mind.” 
You all laugh and walk out of the chateau. The clouds were starting to roll in which made your adrenaline start to rush. Kie bids you all a goodbye as you grab your board and start to walk to the beach with the boys.
“I’m so excited.” You say holding JJ’s hand and walking faster towards the sand. JJ looks at you with admiration and love as you start to skip towards the beach with your board under your arm like an excited child getting ice cream. He loves you so much and would do anything to make or see you happy. 
The four finally reach the beach and the waves were starting to get rocky because of the storm. Pope sits down on the sand as you, JJ and John B get ready to ride the waves. 
Once you were ready and made sure the leash to your board was secured correctly around your ankle you turn to your boyfriend and place a soft kiss on his cheek. 
“I love you.” You say before turning to the water and running towards it. JJ watches you paddle on your board out into the dark water then continues to get ready himself. 
It didn’t take long for JJ and John B to join you and when they did they instantly regretted their decision to go surfing. The storm was causing the waves to be irregular, creating crosscurrents. 
But that didn’t stop you from riding the choppiest of waves. The three Pogues take turns riding the waves, making sure to be as safe as possible considering what they were doing was already dangerous. 
John B finally stands up on his board and tries his best to stay standing. The Routledge boy was only able to ride the wave for 10 seconds before wiping out. You and JJ look at each other laughing at John B. 
“Fuck you guys!” John B yells, resurfacing and getting back onto his board. You two watch John B paddle by, stopping to give you both the finger before heading back to shore where Pope sat. 
“I think we should get going soon.” JJ says looking at the dark clouds. By now it was raining, but you didn’t mind you were already wet. 
“I’m gonna ride a few more then we can go.” 
JJ simply nods his head in agreement. “Be safe beautiful.” He says leaning over on his board to give you a kiss. You place your hand on the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. The blond pulls away first, both of you looking into each others eyes with love, while smiling. 
“I love you JJ Maybank!” You yell as you switch positions from sitting on your board to lying on your stomach. 
JJ smiles, “I love you Y/N L/N!” He yells back, paddling in the opposite direction of you. Thunder booms ahead of you, but you keep on paddling further into the water, battling rough waves. 
“What is she doing we have to go!” Pope yells to JJ over the down pour of rain. 
JJ shakes his head, looking between his best friends and you. “She’s the best surfer in all of Outer Banks! She’s going to be okay.” 
However, as the weather starts to get worse JJ became worried for you. He knew you could handle yourself considering you started surfing at the age of four, but he couldn’t help but worry when the weather was starting to get worse and worse by the minute. 
The three boys stand on the beach watching you as you were getting ready to stand up. Within seconds you jump to your feet, balancing and steering yourself on the choppy water. 
“She’s a fucking beast man!” John B yells nudging JJ’s arm causing the blond to nod in agreement. JJ was so amazed at your skill it was truly breathtaking how graceful you looked despite the water being rigid and rough. The three continue to watch with rain pouring down their faces. Just as the wave was about to break you lose your balance and end up wiping out. 
“Ough.” The boys say simultaneously. The water was so choppy it didn’t allow you to wipe out properly, causing you to hit your arm on your board on the way down. The blond chews on the inside of his cheek, waiting for you to resurface. 
JJ lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding when he sees your head pop up from underneath the water, you giving him a thumbs up to say you were okay. 
“She should come back now man.” Pope says, John B agreeing with him. 
“Let’s go back!” JJ yells to you while gesturing for you to come back. You hop back onto your board holding up one finger signaling you wanted to go one last time. All three Pogues cringe as they watch you paddle with your hands towards a giant wave. By now the wind has picked up and the rain drops started to feel painful bouncing off of each of their heads. 
You once again get ready to stand up. Adrenaline pulsed through your body as you finally stood up. 
“Let’s go!” You yell to your friends and boyfriend. The boys on the beach start to cheer. You were riding the biggest wave of your life. You quickly glance towards JJ before looking back at your footing, but as you do so the wave crashes down causing you and your board to be pushed under the water. JJ, Pope and John B all gasp at the same time as they watch the wave engulf your body. 
“Fuck Y/N!” JJ yells, dropping his board and running back into the water. 
Under the water was all a blur. The wave pushed you down basically to the floor making you feel like you were being squished by a piece of concrete. You try your best to remember what your parents always taught you, to remain calm, but you couldn’t stop yourself from freaking out. You were running out of air and the more you tried to swim back up the more you got pushed back down. It also didn’t help that your board broke, the tail still attached to your foot by the leash. 
JJ dives into the water swimming as fast as he could to you, John B and Pope following suit. The blond resurfaces for air, whipping his hair out of his face before diving back underneath the rough water. It didn’t take long for him to find you. 
Just as you start to feel yourself let go and succumb to your fate you feel a pair of arms wrap around you and bring you back up to the surface.It felt and looked like a scene from a movie. Both of you gasp for air once you reach the top. It was a miracle that JJ was able to get to you and bring both of you back to the surface. 
John B and Pope quickly make it to you guys, water splashing in every direction. “Here!” Pope yells, moving John B’s surfboard over to you and JJ. 
JJ lifts you up and places you on top, removing your broken board from your leg by the leash. You laid on your back breathing in heavily as the three boys battled against the crosscurrents and swam back to shore. The sound of the rain and waves crashing covered the sound of you gurgling and coughing. When it was shallow enough to the point they could stand JJ picks you up off of the board bridal style and walks out of the choppy water then places you on the beach. Pope and John B follow you two out of the water as JJ rests on his knees beside you.
“You scared the shit out of -” JJ instantly stops talking when he sees the state you were in. 
“Holy fuck.” He breathes out, feeling paralyzed. 
“What man?” John B asks stepping close to you and your boyfriend. “Pope call 911!” John B yells realizing what JJ was looking at. 
On your neck was a laceration starting from your collar bone, up your neck to your left ear. You open your mouth to speak, but nothing, but the sound of gurgling comes out. The fins on your board cut you during your struggle falling.
“Shhh baby don’t talk.” JJ says looking over you and grabbing your hands. You heard Pope and John B on the phone with 911 in the background, but the sound was starting to drown out as tears pooled in your eyes. 
JJ starts to cry, looking in your eyes. “You’re going to be okay.” He says the rain and wind continuing to get stronger. Your eyes start to close causing JJ to panic even more. 
“Hey hey.” He says taping your cheeks lightly. “I know this hurts, but you have to stay awake. Please stay awake.”  The boy cries.He didn’t know what he would do if he lost you. He couldn’t live without you. 
A tear of your own falls from your eyes before they close, rendering you unconscious. 
-
A/N Thank you all for over 400 followers it means a lot to me! Remember my requests are open :)
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Text
We've Got Tonight - Ch 2
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Summary: “It’s not your job to do this, Andy. You make people happy. I was in the diner all of ten minutes, and you knew exactly how to get me to smile. You do normal, real things like garden and sing karaoke. Saving the world is my job, Sam’s job. Sometimes it’s even Cas’s job, but it’s not yours.”
Inspired by Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight”
Warnings: Major Character Death, More Major Character Deaths (sort of?), higher than show level violence, blood, light smutting, language, demons, apocalypse, inferred suicide, cult activity.
18+ ONLY, MINORS DO NOT PROCEED
Author’s Note: This story is set hazily around season 8. Just squint a little, and it’ll settle in somewhere. I wrote this story after certain big revelations in the show, but before other big ones; you’ll most likely be able to tell which. I play with time a bit in the story itself, so if things seem out of order, they are. Hopefully, by the end, all the pieces will fit together.
What the hell, let’s give it a shot.
Image and major edits by the incomparable @there-must-be-a-lock . Heavy editing and cheering by @thoughtslikeaminefield . Thank you both so much.
This is the longest chapter, but it's worth it, I promise.
Word Count: Ch 2 - 2952
In case you missed it: Chapter 1 ItMightHaveBeenintentional’s Masterlist
...
We've Got Tonight
Chapter 2
Clutching the strap of her backpack in a death grip, Andy silently crosses the landing. She places her foot on the top stair just as Dean rounds the corner from the hallway below her, both hands fisted in his hair. Even from this distance she can read the lines of tension in his shoulders. Her stomach twists, nausea and joy warring at the sight of him, and she can’t decide if she should turn and sprint for the door or throw herself at him and admit absolutely every foolish thing she’s done.
No. No, not foolish. She’s saving the world. That’s only a little stupid. She’s saving Cas and Sam. That’s good. She’s saving Dean.
That’s non-negotiable.
Then her weight settles on her foot, and the goddamned step creaks. Dean’s eyes snap to hers. For one hopeful moment, relief and genuine happiness flood his expression, and he smiles. The unclouded light shining from his face scraps any thoughts she has of bolting, and Andy makes it halfway down the steps before she’s engulfed in his arms.
He embraces her fiercely, and Andy allows herself a couple of seconds of peace and comfort, of the sense that she’s somehow home even though she’s only known him for a few weeks. Then the overwhelming realization of everything she’s signed away comes crashing down, closing her throat, choking off her air, and suddenly even the heat and safety radiating from Dean into her very bones isn't enough to ward off the chill of dread.
But she’s doing this to save him, to save Sam, to save...everyone. So, really, she’s not losing anything. If you save something, it’s not lost, so, really, she’s not losing anything.
Right?
Then her face is trapped between his hands, his face inches away, his eyes boring into hers with that burning intensity. The lies evaporate on her tongue, and she wracks her brain. What was she supposed to tell him? She has to say it before he starts questioning her, or she’ll blurt out every single thing she swore she wouldn’t.
“Are you okay? Where the hell were you? Was it those anti-Jesus freaks? How did you get away?”
What? Oh, yeah. The cultists. The whole reason she has a lovely new scar on her left arm and she met the Winchesters in the first place. The source of all their current troubles. Well, the main source, aside from her blood. Yeah, that would have been a good cover story, too.
Shit.
“Andy?”
“I’m fine, Dean,” she manages, thankful at how little her voice shakes. She puts forth the effort of the ages and extricates herself from his grip, an act she recognizes as necessary while regretting it all the same. “I’m sorry I scared you. I had a lead, and I had to leave right away. They were really twitchy when I first contacted them, and I thought they might take off if I waited too long or tried to take anyone else, and by the time I realized I’d lost my phone it was too late to come back.”
Anger and disbelief seep into his expression, tainting the relief that animated him only moments before. “Okay, first of all, we’re going to have a long, detailed talk about taking off on your own for any reason without backup, much less chasing your own leads, because no. Just no. Second, what the hell? Did all phones between here and wherever the hell you went just vanish?”
“You programmed your numbers into my cell, but I never memorized them. I didn’t have any way to contact you once I got there, and-”
“And you couldn’t leave a damn note?!”
Deep breath. Keep steady.
“Look, I’m really wrecked, Dean, it was a long drive, and it ended up a bust. The guy never showed. I’m dying for a shower and some food. You can interrogate me all you want, but can we not do it right here, right now?”
She pushes past him, brushing him off in a way she’s never done before, but if he keeps gazing into her soul with those jade laser beams of his, she’s going to lose every ounce of self-control. Her fingers tremble with strain, and she clutches her bag tighter, determined to hold herself together for his sake.
She only gets a couple of seconds of reprieve, though, just barely making it off the staircase. He catches up with her as she passes the map table, aiming for escape through the library, and he snatches her elbow. His grip is harsh as he pulls her around to face him, and her fingers fumble at the fierce heat behind his eyes. Her backpack drops, spilling its contents on the floor.
Her stomach bottoms out. She immediately tries to crouch down, to stuff her papers and books back in before Dean can see them, but his grip tightens on her arm, and he forces her back up to meet his eyes.
“You don’t get to disappear for two and a half days and then just-”
“Andy!”
Oh, thank god for Sam.
Andy takes advantage of Dean’s surprise to pull out of his grasp, but before she can bend down, she’s engulfed in a second, longer set of arms that feels almost as much like home as his brother’s.
God, what has she done? She really is going to lose everything. But this has to be worth it. Saving them is worth it, she knows it is. It’s going to be okay.
“Andy, are you okay? Where were you?” Sam is still in his concerned phase, and she’d like to make her exit to gather her thoughts before he hits Dean’s level of suspiciously pissed. She knows of no force in Heaven or Hell that can withstand the combined onslaught of Dean’s anger and Sam’s lectures.
“She says she found a lead,” Dean cuts in before she can try to explain herself. He’s definitely on the outer edges of pissed, and that’s fine. She can handle pissed, she just has to figure out what to do before he reaches volcanic levels of anger.
She drops down before anyone else can stop her and starts shoveling handfuls of papers in her bag. She needs to get them out of sight. She should have burned them, why didn’t she burn them, god if Sam sees some of it, he’ll know what she did without her having said a word to him, and -
“Andy, what the hell is this?”
Dean’s voice has dropped to a low, measured growl, and her eyes slide shut in dismay.
Don’t admit to anything, you don’t know what he found, just -
“You said you lost your phone, and now it falls out of your damned bag? You’re lying to me? Why-”
“Maybe because of this,” Sam cuts in, and she hears a rustle of papers from her other side, and she swears that it’s the loudest sound she’s heard in her entire life. It doesn’t matter which of her papers or which book Sam is showing his brother. They are all equally damning, and she really should have known better than to think she could get away with this plan.
“I had to do something. We were running out of time, so I made a decision while I still could.”
She’s impressed and surprised at the steadiness in her voice, the actual conviction. She is equally surprised to find herself standing when she opens her eyes, looking down at two of the most important people in the world, one of whom is regarding her with dismayed shock, and the other…
Her stomach wars with her brain; rational thought says the logical response to someone glaring at her with as much venom as Dean is packing is to run. Her stomach, on the other hand, is fully in favor of ejecting all contents in sheer terror. Somehow, she manages to shove down both impulses and stand her ground.
There’s a long moment where it seems like the whole bunker, the whole world, holds its breath, waiting for something to snap the tension. To Andy’s astonishment, Sam breaks in before Dean’s temper can explode.
“Tell me you didn’t. After everything we’ve told you, everything you know about us and our history, you called a crossroads demon? Where did you even find the summoning spell?”
She turns incredulous eyes on the younger Winchester. “Sam. I...really, Sam? When I asked to help, you put me on research. I didn't know where to look, and you gave me a stack of books, most of which had some variation of that or a similar spell in it. You gave me access to one of the world’s biggest fix-its, and you didn’t think I would do something with that?”
Sam opens his mouth, his face set with stubborn indignity, but he falls silent as Dean stands abruptly. He stalks past Andy, his silence far more worrisome than any shouting or lecturing could ever be. He stops at the bottom of the library steps, gripping the back of his neck like he’d rather have his fingers wrapped around something’s throat, and he stands like that for what feels like forever.
“I made a deal. To save you, Sam, Cas. Everyone. I had to do it.” Andy can’t stop the words that tumble from her trembling lips, and she can only be thankful that she doesn’t have to see Dean’s face as she says them. She should never have tried to lie to him, to them both, but especially not to him. Not after all the lies he’s had to live through.
“I won’t apologize. I found a way out of the end of the world when we had no other options, and I took it.”
Dean stands stiffly, unmoving as she confesses to his back. Sam wisely keeps his mouth shut, kneeling on the floor to look through Andy’s papers, avoiding looking at either of them. The gravid silence that hangs over the room is broken only by the thudding of her heart and the crinkle of pages as Sam rifles through her backpack’s spilled contents.
“Explain. Now.” Dean’s words are quiet and caustic, their bitterness cutting Andy straight to the heart.
This isn’t what she wanted, but their time is too short to try to work everything out. There will be nothing like a fairy tale ending for them, so she forces herself to say what she can. There are still some details she doesn’t want to tell him; if he knew everything, he could keep her here, keep her from going back to finish the deal, and she absolutely cannot let that happen.
“I did what you and Sam do every day. I did my research, I made a plan, and I faced the monsters. I made a choice, Dean.” She only just keeps the notes of desperation from creeping into her voice, though it’s a near thing.
He moves as she speaks, turning back to the table, his face inscrutable as he leans down to grip the back of one of the chairs. He holds onto it as if it’s the only thing keeping him together, and she feels a ridiculous stab of sympathy for the piece of furniture that’s bound to come to a bad end.
“And you think sneaking around, lying to all of us, and making a deal with a crossroads demon is going to magically fix everything?”
He’s too calm, too quiet. The chair creaks ominously under his fingers, and Andy takes a hasty step back. Sam rises, his forehead wrinkled with concern as he takes a step towards the table.
“Andy, just tell us the details,” Sam interjects, his tone low and placating, like he’s trying to calm a cornered animal. “We can figure out a way to get you out of the deal. What did the demon you met with look like? Did they tell you their name? How much time do you have?”
“God DAMN IT!”
Dean slings the chair to the side, and it skates over the floor, shredding through her papers before slamming into a support pillar with a deafening metallic clang and careening across the room. Sam steps up protectively next to her, his hands half-raised like he can’t decide if he should try to talk his brother down or block more pieces of flying furniture.
“Why, Andy? Why didn’t you just wait for Sam or Cas to find something? We were looking!”
“There was no time left, Dean!” She knows there aren’t enough words in any language to explain her decision in a way that will satisfy him. It doesn’t matter to him that she’s one of the sources of all their troubles right now, or that she is an adult who was perfectly capable of making decisions about her life long before the Wonderful Winchesters and their guardian angel rode into town.
“We had days left, at best! I don’t want this anymore than you did, but it was my blood that started this whole disaster, my blood the cult needs to finish everything, literally everything! It’s my blood that’s the solution to this whole shitshow, and that means it’s my mess to clean up. I learned that much from you and Sam, at least! You clean up the messes you make, whether you meant to make them or not. You, of all people, could at least try to understand!”
“Understand what?! That you think selling your soul will actually fix anything?”
Dean closes the distance between them, his fingers digging hard into her shoulders, knocking Sam to the side as he disregards all concepts of personal space.
“Selling your soul never solves a damned thing! And don’t you think for one second I’m gonna let you go through with this deal.”
“I’ve already gone through with it, I signed the contract. You can’t stop it, and you can’t change it. He said you’d try, and-”
“Wait a minute, ‘he’?” Sam cuts in, and Dean’s face flushes a deeper shade of crimson.
“You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t make a deal with that son of a bitch Crowley.”
Fuck.
“I made a call,” Andy finally answers. “I was either going to hell and taking the rest of the world with me, or I was going by myself and keeping the rest of you safe.”
“You had no right-”
“To make decisions about my life? The hell I don’t, it’s my life, Dean! Who gave you the right-”
“We were supposed to be in it together, you and me! It’s not just your life, and you damned well know it!”
The three of them stand frozen, the words echoing faintly through the enormous room. Sam gaping at the two of them, Dean grips Andy like he thinks she’s about to bolt, and Andy tries desperately to remember why she’s not simply throwing herself into Dean’s arms.
Castiel, with his impeccable timing, chooses this moment to enter the bunker. The creaking door catches their attention, and all eyes turn to Cas, who stands on the landing, surveying the tableau of chaos beneath him. His eyebrows lower, his consternation clear.
“Andrea?” Cas’s voice is confused but gentle as he cautiously descends the stairs. She knows from the stories Sam and Dean have told her that her friend has a fearsome warrior side that makes even the worst demons think twice before approaching, but she’s never seen a hint of that part of him.
She’s seen this man soberly examining a bowl of Cheetos, questioning their attractiveness to large, feline predators; she has a difficult time picturing him facing down the worst monsters the universe has to offer, and yet, according to Sam and Dean, he does so without hesitation on a regular basis.
Which is why his cautious approach should really worry her.
“Dean, is it really necessary to hold on to Andrea quite that hard? You’re bound to leave bruises, and she doesn’t seem to be attempting to leave.”
Dean releases Andy abruptly. His face is dark and lined with the effort of repressing his rage, and he storms past the bewildered angel. He stops at the bottom of the stairs, hand on the banister, legs flexing and trembling as if he has to force himself to stop even that long. Sam takes a step towards him, but Cas holds out a restraining hand, and for once, Sam complies, though he looks seconds away from protesting.
“You should’ve waited, Andy. You should’ve talked to me, given me a chance to find something, anything but this. I can’t...I’m done. I’m fucking done.”
He climbs the stairs three furious steps at a time and is out the door before anyone can think of how to stop him, leaving Andy lost in the remnants of his anger and her shoulders aching more from the loss of his grip than the roughness of it. Her throat is burning, her jaw aching with strain, but her eyes are dry.
There was no other way, there just wasn’t. I did the right thing, and damn Dean to Hell if he thinks I’m going to cry for that.
“Andrea?”
Cas reaches out and steadies Andy, his grasp gentle and comforting in stark contrast to Dean’s furious hold. He considers her for a long moment before finally speaking.
“Our lack of information regarding your whereabouts was quite troubling, and we assumed the worst.”
“Maybe not the absolute worst,” Sam sighs, leaning wearily against the table. He scrubs his hands over several days’ worth of stubble before rubbing his eyes. When he speaks again, he can’t even meet her eyes, and an acidic splinter of shame twists in her stomach.
“You really should have waited, Andy.” ...
Chapter 3
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