#they can lie through their teeth about acceptance or even truthfully change

[chocominnie]

One Last Time 01  —  Pjm. (M)

⇢ pairing: Jimin X Reader

⇢ Genre: Idol!Jimin, Exbf!Jimin, model!reader, sad au, fluff, tons of smut, angst

⇢ Synopsis: Your idol ex boyfriend Jimin cheated on you. You two have been broken up for a while now and the media has been keeping track of you and him. You’re trying to get over him, but the things that happen inbetween makes you re-think the entire breakup, and so does Jimin…

⇢ Song : xxxxx

⇢ Word Count : 4.3k

⇢ Warnings: dominant jimin, makeout sessions, this is honestly a sad angsty au, cheating, pregnancy, unprotected and protected sex, a bunch of sex, no really a LOT of sexual themes too, I know I’m forgetting some but sorry in advance!

⇢ Copyright: please do NOT repost, translate, or modify my works in any way, shape or form, on any platform. If found doing so , it is considered as plagiarism and appropriate LEGAL action will be taken

⇢ Authors note: This is my mini series for the summer! Get your tissues, things to take your anger out on, and sit back and watch the drama unfold. Shall we begin?

The winter’s coldness is hardly enough for you to bear. Even though it’s just the beginning, Seoul is known to just go from season to season without a fucking warning. Not only that, but the first snowfall is going to come soon. The weatherman has been talking about it non-stop for the past few days. It’s going to be a brutal one he says but he says that every year so why believe?

Turning off your alarm, you take a few minutes to collect yourself and stretch. Barely any sleep once again but that’s an everyday thing now.. without Jimin. It’s been some rough months not having his body wrapped snugly onto yours. These days you long for his touch, but completely dread at the same time for very good reasons.

Your kitten greets you with small licks on your thigh in which in return you pet her head softly with a smile.

‘‘ At least I still have you babygirl. You keep me company. “ You coo softly while grabbing your phone off the charger. Texts from your best-friend just spamming you with love and apparently she’s coming over. Great. That’s normal.  But one text catches your eye. Jeon Jungkook.

You furrow your eyebrows as your finger slides to open it after typing in your password. In relief, he’s just checking up on you as always. Rolling your eyes, you muster enough strength to actually pull yourself out of bed. The cold tiles hit your feet like icicles. You jump from from foot to foot cursing yourself for not turning on the floor heaters as you walk out the room. Clara, your kitten, follows you out purring nonchalantly with a few meows here and there.

‘’ Alright Clara I hear you. Im getting your food now.’’ You chuckle, grabbing her food from the bottom kitchen cabinet right under the sink and pour her half a cup of cat food and a whole bowl of water.

After snacking on your morning granola bar you prepare yourself for your morning routine. Shower, brush teeth, skin care, get dressed, clean. Your phone dings once more just before stripping yourself of your clothes. You don’t bother to look it’s probably just a social media notification.

Drying your hair with a towel as you get out the steaming hot shower, you head straight for the mirror. Dark circles remain under your eyes from months of barely any sleep. You sigh, and gently rub under them. Jimin is the cause of this. Why would he do this to you. Surely enough he would not like to see you like this at all. The worriedness he would have over you is huge. But he has moved on and you just have to accept it no matter how in-love you still are with him.

As you clean up around the living room, another ding from your phone occurs. A groan escapes your lips as you place the pillows back as they should be. In hopes of it just being your manager giving you some good news, you let out a sigh and plop yourself down on the grey suede couch. Three new messages. Jeon Jungkook, who has text you twice, and Ryan your bestfriend. 

‘‘ Damn it Ryan why must you consistently text me twenty four sev- “

“ Beause I need to know if you’re okay.”

You jump and drop your phone onto the hardwood floor from the voice that comes from around you.

“ Holy fucking shit you scared me! “  You whine, turning around to face your best-friend. She smiles and holds out her arms for a hug. You roll your eyes and open yours waiting for her embrace.

“ Oh i’ve missed you so so so so so so so-”

“ You just seen me yesterday..” Your voice sarcastic and bland as you let go of her. You sit on the couch first followed by Ryan sitting right next to you.

She looks good today, the navy blue coat she has on suits her very well. Although, you cannot figure out why she decided to wear leggings today. It’s going to rain a bit later but you disregard that seeing as though she’s the fashion deisgner and not you.

You. The model and seemingly ex girlfriend of one of the biggest solo idol in the world right now. Thats what they call you in the news, headlines in magazines, and real life as if you don’t have a real name and just was his acessory. Your modeling career had taken off way before dating him. The world, or Seoul to say the most, didn’t acklowledge you to that point yet. 

“ Okay but still. You know we should be roomates. It’ll be easier for me to watch over you. “

Your head turns towards her quickly shaking no, “ I don’t need to be looked over im 20 years old.”

Silence takes place for the next few seconds. You know what she’s going to say next but pray she doesn’t. Those words will just make you even more upset. It’s already enough you have that constant reminder in your head. 

You watch her fiddle with the rings on her index and pinky fingers. “ But you know… you haven’t been the same since you and Jimi-”

“ Don’t fucking say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

She sighs harshly and stands up, “ Im just worried about you Yn”

“ Don’t be. Im fine. “ That lie escaped your tongue way too easily. 

Truthfully you haven’t and won’t be fine. Everyday there is something new about that girl and Jimin on twitter. Gossip pages, twitter fanpages, and online entertainment pages just always talking about them. They did this, they did that today. Oh we caught them going to this and that restaurant. That used to be you and him.. but now everyone has forgotten about you and focused on them.

Ever since you’ve told reporters and paparazzi repeatedly that you will not be holding or going to any interview they just stopped. A few calls here and there to your manager about scheduling one but she knew you didn’t want to do them so every request is denied. Although its been a year and some change, they still seem to want your side and your opinion to weigh in on. I guess that’s what happens when you date an Idol.

“ The door.. Y/N the door somebody is at the door.” Ryan says, tapping you over and over. You shake your head interrupting your thoughts for the time being. A few more knocks come through.

Finally up onto your feet you harshly walk to the door with each step making noise. It’s to early in the morning for someone to actually be knocking at the door right now. Whoever it is better be dropping off some sort of package, or they’ll surely get a piece of your mind.

Your frail hands grab onto the doorknob and swing it open. Your eyes almost pop through your sockets. How? How did he know you were here? You certainly did not tell him your knew address.

There he stands, his tall frame looking down on you. Lips formed into a tiny pout along with his eyebrows scrunched slightly. His brown eyes forming an ungodly stare into yours with his specs on.

“ Yn! Do you know how worried I was about you? Why did you not answer my messa-”

“Jungkook how do you know where I live?” You pace your hands on your hips, raising an eyebrow at him. To your knowledge, you never gave Jungkook your new apartment address.

Jungkook swallows slowly and puts on his best innocent face on. Oh please like that would work in this moment right now. The only person who has this address is Ryan because she’s the one who helped you move. Even if you had the choice of not giving it out to Ryan you would of but you couldn’t do that to her. She would of been so upset.

Ryan’s voice blares in the background full of excitement. Here we fucking go. “Jungkook! Come in Come in.”

“ Ryan says I could come in.” He says quickly, brushing past you and removing his shoes.

You heavily sigh and slam the door shut. What is this a family reunion? On your way back to the couch you notice them laughing and giggling like two five year old children. They don’t even notice you when you sit right across from them.

You study their expressions. Their chemistry is something so strong. The way their eyes light up when they meet, the way that Jungkook smiles and scrunches his nose more often when she’s around. You miss that. You miss doing that.

“ So are you both coming along this afternoon?”

Your attention focuses back on them. Of course you weren’t paying attention once again.

Your eyes slowly meet with theirs, “ Huh? Where are we going?”

“ Kookie finally bought a house! He wants us to come tonight for chicken and beer. You’re coming right?”

A sharp pain goes through your heart. If the both you you guys go then theirs a possibility that Jimin was invited too. After all, that is his brother. If Jimin comes then he’s most likely going to bring Isabel. A recipe for disaster. Your poor heart, that most likely could not bare the sight of them infront of you, would shatter into a million pieces.

Jungkook’s expression is ready to burst into happiness or to turn into a pout awaiting for your answer. If you let him down he’ll surely be mad at you. But putting yourself before him this time would be the right thing to do right?

“ Listen Jungkook I.. don’t think I can go.” You start off, playing with your hair with your head down.

“ I’ll space you two apart.”

Your face automatically lifts itself up in shock. Somehow, that little confirmation of Jimin being there, gave you some hope. Hope for what though?

 “ Wha-what do you mean?”

Jungkook sighs heavily with his hand going up to his brown hair running it through lightly. “ I’ll make sure you two are distanced apart. You don’t want to come because of Jimin but I’ll make sure I’ll invite more people to keep you company and away from him. Okay?”

“ Please Yn. I’ll be there too.” Ryan begs, laying her head on Jungkook’s shoulder. Jungkook smiles a little, caressing her cheek with his other hand upon waiting your response.

Weird. When did they get so close?

The first thing you want to say is that you really could not go. But they already know the excuse now. You might as well just give in.

‘‘ Fine. What time tonight? “

Skincare and makeup products are scattered everywhere on your vanity. You needed the perfect look for tonight that says ‘Yes im doing fine without you’, but in reality you’re doing worse. This is the night where you’ll actually see him. Damn it’s been a while.

After you apply your highlight you step back and take a look at yourself. Not bad at all. You smile to yourself and start cleaning up the mess of products you had  distributed across the vanity. A new text appears on you phone as soon as you gather everything up and put it back in it’s place. Grabbing your phone, it’s Ryan giving you the address to Jungkook’s new house.

You sigh and mentally prepare yourself, ‘‘ Okay Yn. You can do this. It’s just one night of conversing among people. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone new.”

Before heading out you grab your coat and scarf. Clara follows you all the way to the door letting out her little meows once again. You bend down to pet her head lightly with a smile. “ Clara im coming back. I’ve put food in your bowl babygirl.”

She purrs under your touch then walks away to settle herself in her bed. You take one last final look at your decent sized apartment before heading out.

The subway ride was agonizing pain for you due to it being 30 minutes long. Well, at-least you can ride the subway now. Your mind wouldn’t even of thought of that when you were with him. Everybody would have noticed you and bombard you with questions.

The outskirts of Seoul is peaceful and quite. Not many people live over here. Mostly famous actors and idols. The taxi takes a few minutes to get to the fairly clean subway station. Once you’re inside you take a good look at the driver who seems to be eyeing you in suspicion. You pull out your phone and read the words to the address exactly to him. The taxi man pulls of into the empty streets of god knows where.

All it took was a ten minute ride and then you’re there. The taxi man pulls up to a security guard booth. Just beyond the gates is more street but  by squinting your eyes you can make out just a few newly built houses.

‘‘ Who are you here to see?” The taxi driver says.

“ Jeon Jungkook.?

The driver talks to the man for a few seconds before you see the security guard pick up a phone and start dialing. The security is extremely uptight, thats good. After a few moments of speaking the security guard finally opens the gates to be let through.

As you pull up to the house you’re automatically mesmerized on how big and beautiful it is. There’s fresh bushes and some white roses growing in the front of it complementing the white modern style home. The roundabout is full of luxurious cars, in which might be all the other guests.

‘‘ 10 dollars’‘ He says. You give him the ten, thank him, and grab your purse, closing the door behind you.

Your eyes meet face to face with the expensive house. Behind you is the tire wheels backing up and running off back down the roundabout. The time on your watch reads 8:15. Only fifteen minutes late, not bad right?

With each step you take fear quivers inside of you. What if he opens the door? What if that girl opens it instead? The wind blows harsh-fully hitting your cheeks making them turn slightly colored. You raise a small, shaky fist to knock on the door. Your blood turning cold, and face turning pale already. Your anxiety already taking its place inside of your body.

The door swings open revealing Ryan smiling from ear to ear. She pulls you inside without even a greeting. You kick your shoes off in a hurry as she pulls you more and more inside. Scanning the area around you, its a nice huge place. First the both of you pass the entrance, then the chef sized kitchen, which then leads you to the spacious living room where everybody seems to be sitting.

All eyes are on you now with some familiar faces and some not. They smile and greet you one by one and you slightly bow your head with a fake smile.

‘‘ Ah Yn, nice to see you again huh.’‘ Hoseok, the smiley one says, getting up from his seat to greet you once more.

‘‘ Nice to see you to Hoseok. Is Chae-Yeon here? I’ve baked the cookies she likes.’’  You say, holding up the big tuba-wear of freshly baked cookies. Nobody can resist those.

‘‘ No she had to work sadly, but I will enjoy them for her.’‘ He chuckles, bringing the tuba-wear out of your dainty, cold hands.

A very familiar voice booms from behind you causing you to turn around. “ Yn! You actually did come!’’ Jungkook, the owner of the voice exclaims. He wipes his hands with a napkin just before pulling you into a hug.You pat his back just before letting go.

Ryan smiles and shakes her head, “ I told you she would come.’’

Only one hour and 30 minutes into the festivities and half of the people here are drunk or nearly there. You on the other hand do not drink at all. Staying sober throughout this whole party is a must. Who knows what would happen if you start drinking and saying things.Ryan seems to be doing good with Jungkook who’s laying on the floor laughing and cracking jokes with her head laying on his stomach giggling along with him. The others have casually invited themselves into the guest game-room to play some pool.

You just sit there on the couch, munching on a cookie and smiling and laughing here and there at one of Seokjin and Jungkook’s back-to-back jokes that seem to never leave the air.

Only for a knock on the door to interrupt  their flow of jokes.

‘‘ I got it I got it.” Seokjin stammers, placing a beer bottle down and stumbling towards the door. You freeze, face turning pale once more. It’s them. It could be them. Your teeth find their way to your lips and you begin to chew on it excessively.

Ryan notices it and automatically gets up from Jungkook, ‘‘ Come Yn, lets go see if the game of pool is interesting.’‘

You nod your head slightly as you get up from the couch. What are you worrying for? You look extravagant tonight. No need to worry yourself.

Just before taking your first few steps you stop, that voice. That oh so familiar voice begins to inch closer and closer. The famous laugh that he always tries to stifle by putting his hand over his mouth, that you’ve always thought was so fucking cute, fills the air.

You don’t know what got over you, but you sit back down dragging Ryan down with you. “ Yn? What are you doing I thought you wanted to avoid him.’’

‘’ No it’s okay. Im going to be fine.’‘ You say, awaiting upon his arrival into the room.

The footsteps are haunting you with each step they take.

one..two..three..four..five..si-

‘‘ Everyone, Isabel and Jimin are here.’‘ Seokjin stammers, smiling wide clearly drunk from all the beer consumed.

Your eyes go directly towards his. The pit of your stomach flutters with nervousness as you hold the long stare with him. His facial expression shocked but not showing it at all. His partner, who’s arm is linked with his, smiles brightly at everyone bowing her head slightly to them including you.

‘‘ Sorry we are late. Jimin didn’t want to come out of his home studio but I’ve made him come along with me.’‘ Her voice gentle and soft.

‘‘ Yn I forgot let me show you my new painting i have received.” Jungkook says quickly, trying to escape you from the awkwardness.You can bare it though its not as bad as you thought.

‘‘ Maybe later Kookie. I’m going to grab some juice.”  You say, getting up from your spot. You brush past Jimin lightly with Ryan tailing along with you.

The spacious kitchen was perfect for you to escape for just a moment. Silence is golden. Ryan sighs, pouring you and her a glass of juice. Nothing is to be said yet. But you know she really wants to have her input.

Raising the glass to your lips, you take a sip letting the tanginess run across your tongue and down your throat. ‘’ Say it Ryan.’’

She puts her cup down and looks at you with your eyebrows furrowed, ‘’ You aren’t fine. Please just avoid them for the night.’’

You knew it was coming but you have to face the fact that they area couple anyways so why avoid it? Maybe your mind will finally accept it to see it in person.

‘‘ I have to face it one way or another so why not now?’‘

She shakes her head in disapproval, finishing the rest of her juice. “ No you don’t. You’re making yourself suffer and I don’t like it.’’

‘‘ Yn.. did you make these cookies?’‘ A voice says behind you. Ryan’s eyes go wide and then looks at you signaling for you to not turn around. But you do it anyways.

Isabel. How dare she call you by a pet name? You don’t even know her like that and she’s doing this. Anger wants to get the best of you but you remain humble and calm.

‘‘ Yes. Is there a problem though? Are they not good?’‘ You say, putting on your best innocent act.

She smiles as she moves a piece of hair of her perfectly framed face, ‘’ No they are great! I was wondering if i can have the recipe.. for Jimin’s purpose of course.’’

You breathe through your nostrils with your eyes closed. She knows what she’s doing. She likes seeing you suffer huh? ‘’ You can follow any recipe online. I just add almond extract and substitute white sugar for brown.’’

Ryan shakes her head slightly while sticking her cup into the sink. ‘’ I’m going to be back I have to use the restroom.’’

Once she leaves Isabel’s smile drops.’’ Almond? Im- Im allergic!” She says, semi yelling at you. You’re shocked more or so at the sudden outburst that you can’t speak. You had zero knowledge of her being allergic, it’s an accident for sure.

 “You did this on purpose!’’ She says, tears filling her eyes as she goes into a coughing fit.

Shit. You didn’t know if anyone was allergic to nuts here but you had put it in anyways because that was the secret ingredient

‘’ I- I didn’t know im sorry is there anything I can do?’’ You say, guilt taking over you while you rush to her side patting her back. 

‘‘ Get off of me! You did this on purpose! You never liked me anyways. Jimin! Jimin!‘ She scream’s, coughing and wheezing making her face red.

Multiple footsteps rush into the kitchen. You don’t know what to do at this point so you just back away and let whoever take over. All the commotion going on and yelling is starting to give you a slight headache. All of the boys surround her, bombarding with questions and asking each other what to do. 

‘‘ What’s all the yelling about? What happened! “ Jungkook exclaims rushing towards her hunched over body.

‘‘ What’s going on? “ That voice that haunts you everynight finally comes inside the kitchen. When he see’s Isabel he automatically rushes towards her side. It pains you to see him rush to another woman’s body. But that figure is no longer yours so he has every right to do that.

‘‘ She-She put almond in the cookies on purpose! She’s trying to–to-’‘ She manages to wheeze out before another coughing fit.

Jimin’s eyes meet yours full of rage but then taken over by concern. He knows your hurt. Still hurt from the past and from this very situation now. You don’t manage to keep eye contact, so the floor is your eyes’ bestfriend right now.

‘‘ Yn. is this true? Why would you do that?”  He says, eyes never leaving yours and voice soft.

You shake your head quickly, “ I didn’t know she was allergic. I always put almond extract an-’’

“ You knew better than to put any type or form of nut in a dish when bringing it to ones house. You never know if someone has an allergy to it.’‘ Jungkook scolds you, eyes furrowed in shame.

‘‘ Don’t blame her. She didn’t fucking know.” Ryan’s voice enters the room in madness. She comes to your side with her arms crossed. Your own personal savior. Without her, you’d still be feeling guilty and taking the blame.

‘‘ Besides, you knew better than to invite him if you knew he was going to bring the girl he cheated on her with.. right?’‘ She says, cocking her head to the side as her attitude takes over.

The room is silent again. Good girl Ryan. 

Isabel lifts her head in disbelief along with Jimin. “ Listen that’s beside the point. Just don’t do it again.” Jimin says, focusing his attention back on Isabel. He reaches into her purse to grab her Epi-pen.

His scolding is enough to send your eyes into tears. You shouldn’t of agreed to come. This is a disaster. You take the tuba-wear of cookies from the counter on your way out of the kitchen and dispose of them. Your vision is blurry and you don’t know where your going but you just need some air. You make lefts and rights down long and short hallways till you reach a room that has a balcony.

You slip on who-ever’s house slippers and open the sliding door revealing the winter’s cold harsh air. You lean on the railing and close your eyes breathe in and out heavily.

Wiping the tears away, You open our eyes and look straight ahead. The whole city is lit up such a beautiful view for a sad moment. The sad moment is cut short by the sliding door opening and closing. You don’t bother to turn around it’s probably just Ryan checking on you again. When are people going to stop doing that?

“ Yn.”

Thats the last voice you wanted to hear.

‘‘ Are you happy? Happy for scolding me infront of everybody.”  You sniffle, wiping away your leaking nose.

You hear some rustling before something is placed on your shoulders. You look down at the material and shrug it off of you.

‘‘ Give it to your girlfriend.”

‘‘ I can’t let you be cold. Put it back on.’‘ He sighs, picking it back up and coming closer to you. You both stand side by side. Jimin puts his jacket around you once more and before you could re-do your action just before, he speaks.

‘‘ Shrug it off again and I’ll scold you. Do you understand?’‘ He says firmly.

You don’t bother to speak. Silence is golden.

‘‘ Listen.. i know you still aren’t over the fact that we are through but-”

‘‘ Shut up. I don’t want to hear it. Please go tend to your dying girlfriend.’‘ You say, sarcastically.

He huffs, “ She’s resting right now. She wouldn’t have to be if you wouldn’t of put-’’

You turn towards him slowly and meet his eyes daring for him to finish the rest of his sentence. ‘’ Don’t you fucking dare Park Jimin.’’

‘‘ Honorifics.’‘ He says, slightly looking down at you due to the height difference.

‘‘ You’re right Jimin-ssi.’‘

Jimin’s expression is taken a-back. You knew that one honorific word would hurt him.

‘‘ If we are done speaking I will take my leave now.” You say, eyes never leaving his as you take off his jacket and toss it to him, leaving him outside in the cold

This night was one of your worst mistakes. You thought you could handle it, but couldn’t. So maybe Ryan and Jungkook were right. Maybe you can’t handle it at all..

#jimin #park jimin #idol jimin #idol!jimin #idol ! jimin #jimin scenario #jimin fanfic #jimin smut #jimin fluff #jimin one shot #jimin imagine #bts imagine #bts imagines #jimin imagines #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin angst #jimin sad #sad jimin #bts reaction #jimin reaction #bts scenarios #bts scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook

[free-pool-trash]

maybe - stiles stilinski

This is for all my Stiles bitches who are afraid of love ❤️ @makeusfreefromthisfandom ;)

word count: 2k

warnings: angst

summary: the last thing you wanted to do was fall in love (the bridge of all too well obviously set me off)

masterlist

“Maybe we got lost in translation...”

You weren’t sure at what point you’d gone wrong. Each time you recounted your footsteps, every step was calculated and perfectly placed. Perhaps you hadn’t done enough. Or maybe you hadn’t given enough, if you were to ignore the fact that the girl you were before was almost unrecognisable to you now, that option seemed most likely.

For months and months you danced around each other, balanced on the tightrope between friends and more than that. It seemed all of your show stopping smiles, all of your time and all of your willingness to be at each beck and call had been wasted on the relationship that had been doomed from the beginning. But, of course, you were only now hit with that epiphany.

Truthfully, yet somewhat shockingly, you couldn’t find it in yourself to take on the blame for losing your potential other half. Yes, your heart had been completely and utterly torn to shreds in a way you’d never experienced, it was the kind of hurt you hoped you’d never have to brave again. But it wasn’t your fault that falling always felt like flying. It wasn’t your fault that he’d wormed his way through your barricades, there was nothing for you to do but surrender to the sudden ambush that was falling in love with Stiles Stilinski.

Falling in love was never something you wanted, in fact, it was something you tirelessly avoided. The notion of giving someone the power to destroy you brought you nothing but terror. Then there was him.

Stiles Stilinski. Clever, sarcastic, kind, cute and terrible at lacrosse. He’d broken down your every defence, not even knowing he was doing it in the first place. Maybe you were fooling yourself but you truly thought you’d broken down some of his walls too.

What other explanation could be given to the times when he’d show up at your house looking for a shoulder to cry on, specifically your shoulder to cry on. Or the times he would throw you a packet of your favourite sweets before school with the reasoning of “Well, I was getting gas and I know you like them. So I got them.” As if it was the most obvious thing ever.

Those being construed as more than platonic could definitely be considered wishful thinking, but the scene currently playing in your mind had to have meant something more.

In your mind you played it back, it’d started fairly normally. Stiles had shown up in his rickety jeep, told you to hop in and he drove around until he found somewhere private and quiet to park. You’d gotten food on your way to the empty parking lot, he knew your order off by heart, butterflies erupted in your stomach as he called it into the speaker with complete confidence. Dazed, you remember asking, doe eyed and almost breathless, “You know my order?”

The boy had huffed out a puff of air and looked at you incredulously, “Of course I know your order, come on.” He shrugged off your shock and the night moved on as it usually did. It was when you were sitting in the parking lot, quietly picking at your food that he spoke up.

“Hey. Can I ask you something?” Sparing him a glance you only nodded, continuing to pick at your food as you listened. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, by the way.”

With a raised brow you turned your head to look at him, his hands were drumming on the steering wheel rather anxiously, “Alright… what’s your question?”

He’d turned his body to face you as best he could in the small space and clapped his hands together, “Ok, theoretically, if someone was trying to woo you… how would they go about doing that?” He cleared his throat as he finished and if it was possible your eyebrow arched higher.

It was a loaded question. How do you woo someone who's never wanted to be wooed? You wanted to tell him, but instead you shrugged your shoulders and deflated against the passenger seat.

“I don’t know, I’ve never really had an interest in being wooed. Never really thought about it.”

The irony of the situation, looking back on it, he’d been wooing you without even trying and what’s more is that you hadn’t even felt it happening. Only now realising you’d been falling once your body hit the unforgiving concrete beneath it.

“Oh come on! There has to be something! Flowers? Chocolates?” Stiles proded, wiggled his eyebrows and he whined half heartedly when you tossed a fry at him.

You remember how you’d rolled your eyes, “Seriously, I don’t want to be pursued by some guy.”

“Blah, blah, blah, I know. I said theoretically, ok? Theoretically, if you did wanna be pursued, how would that go?” His tone went from sarcastic but melted into uncertainty towards the end of his question.

Your eyes narrowed at the boy in front of you, “Why do you even wanna know?”

His gaze softened and there was something so gentle behind his eyes, an emotion you couldn’t pinpoint and the words that fell from his lips were the catalyst to your inevitable plummet.

“You deserve someone to love you. I want you to have that.”

Bringing your train of thought back to the present, you tried your best to focus on the meeting at hand. Scott was talking the pack through a battle strategy, something about Gerard and Monroe but you weren’t paying attention.

You were internally kicking yourself, of course he’d end up with Lydia after all of this. You were so caught up in the short term sparks, the momentary hopes, that you’d forgotten about the bigger picture. Even still, you wouldn’t lie, you were feeling as though you’d been strung along.

There was a set of eyes scrutinising you from across Scott’s kitchen and it was only when you met Theo’s curious eyes that you noticed you had zoned in on Stiles’ and Lydia’s intertwined hands. The kamara gave you a knowing look, quietly moving towards you once the room broke into chatter.

“You know, if you keep oggling at them they’re going to notice.” He told you, leaning towards your ear as his legs rested against the counter beside you.

Sighing you looked at him, completely exhausted, “I really wish I was heartless like you.”

Theo chuckled, tilting his head as if he knew something you didn’t, “Well, according to Stiles, you’re pretty cold hearted yourself.”

“And Stiles told you that?” You snapped, arms crossing over your chest apprehensively.

He nodded his head, pulled his lip between his teeth and then leaned his head back towards your ear again, “He also told me that you were the kinda girl who needed someone persistent.”

Your stomach dropped, you had an idea where he was going with this. “Why? Why did he tell you all that?”

“Must think I’d be a good match for you.”

It hurt, that someone you considered a friend, more than a friend, would talk you up to someone he absolutely loathed, someone he didn’t trust at all. You’d been so wrong about the feelings Stiles had for you recently and you couldn’t help considering that maybe you fell into the same category as Theo. Just another cold hearted fool.

There was a lot to be said for Theo Raeken. Was he necessarily a good person? No. Was he trustworthy? Absolutely not. Yeah, that’s definitely the sort of person you deserved to have love you.

“I’d be offended too.” He chuckled, watching your face carefully. The way it contorted in confusion, how your lips dipped downward and acceptance settled on your face.

You hadn’t noticed Stiles looking at you from across the room, inspecting the scene before him carefully. He had this sort of anxiety flooding his chest as he watched you deflate as you spoke to Theo.

There was no denying that he was in love with Lydia but before he’d inevitably ended up with the strawberry blonde, he’d been building something quite special with you. He knew you caught onto it too and that’s what was eating away at him.

“You’re being ridiculous.” He told you, shaking his head in disbelief.

You scoffed in return, “It’s called self preservation, Stiles.”

“I just don’t get it.”

You looked at him before shooting into an explanation that he’d heard a million times before, “When you fall in love with someone you give that person so much power over you. They can either make you or break you. I don’t ever want someone to have that kind of affect on me. I don’t want someone that feels like fresh air in my lungs because if they leave I’d be the one left suffocating. Doesn’t sound all that magical to me.”

Stiles looked at you sadly, he understood what you meant but he believed in the goodness of falling in love, “What makes you so sure they’ll leave?”

“Because they always do.”

And he’d done everything you tried so adamantly to avoid. Knowingly made you fall and then knowing left you to crash and burn and prove yourself right.

You stared at him, from across the room, something about the look on your face told him that his last stitch attempt to save face had only pushed you over the edge.

He hated Theo, he really did and you deserved better than him, but he was the only readily available person that he could think of in the heat of the moment.

Theo liked the chase and you liked to run, it made sense on paper. But the look of betrayal on your face as your eyes met sent him spiralling.

Without another word you left the room, stalking towards Scott’s front porch and settling down on the steps.

It was quiet for a while, your hands busied themselves raking through your hair as your elbows rested against your knees. Were you really as bad as Theo? Was that really the impression you gave off? Sure, the boy had improved since you’d first met but that didn’t change the fact that he’d literally been sent to hell for his crimes. Did shunning romance seriously make you that evil?

A familiar presence joining you shook you from your thoughts but you didn’t move to greet him.

Stiles clearing his throat broke the silence but you kept your gaze on the empty street ahead of you. “So, uh, Theo-“

You cut him off with an empty laugh, giving him the meanest side eye you could manage, “Don’t.” You demanded though your voice sounded weak.

“You seemed upset- just wanted to check on you.” He told you lamely, rubbing the back of his neck, watching as your eyebrows pulled together.

Turning slowly to face him you let your hands fall limply against your knees, “I have a question.”

He only nodded. Preparing himself for whatever you were about to throw at him.

“Was it all in my head?” There was anger creeping along your tone but it was the desperation for an answer that took the forefront.

He swallowed thickly but shook his head, “Nah. It wasn’t in your head.”

You pulled your lip between your teeth, fighting the urge to scream as you posed your next question, “It was always Lydia. No matter when or where it was always going to be her. So why?”

His heart sank at the question, his will cracking just as your voice did when you spoke, “Why what?”

“Maybe you didn’t mean to. Maybe you were bored or maybe we just got lost in transition but I trusted you. So I guess my real question is; why did you try so hard to make me love someone only to walk away at the first given opportunity.” You wondered, quickly brushing away a tear that fell from your eye.

His silence could’ve killed you, he looked so very lost. Completely devoid of an answer he just stared at you as you inhaled a deep breath and stood up shakily.

“You know, maybe you were onto something with that Theo thing. At least if he screws me over I’ll have seen it coming.” You told him bitterly, walking inside and leaving him on the step.

#stiles stilinski #stiles stilinski x reader #teen wolf x reader #teen wolf #just some senseless angst because i felt like it

[redsbrainrot]

Gruvia Week Day 6 - Agony

warning: mentions of blood

_ _ _

"Juvia, what're you doing up again?" 

03:30 in the morning, Gray caught his wife of six months pondering around the kitchen, dressed in his shirt and nothing underneath it, other than silky underwear and knee-high, odd, socks covering her porcelain legs. Her hair had been in the same messy ponytail for the past two days; bumpy and greasy. She hadn't showered in almost a week. 

She glances up at her Gray-sama, the portrayal on her face remains bleak as she blankly shrugs, "Can't sleep." 

"Again?" 

It'd been five days. Five days since the agonising, tragic loss she never even dreamed of having the trauma of going through. Awakening one day to buckets of rain dripping down the window, stomach cramps the same pain rate as being stabbed by a steak knife, and later that day her sheets are stained with blood dripping between her legs, followed by screams so harsh she'd lost her voice. 

Juvia shakes her head at Gray's questioning, breaking the simple eye contact and continuing to circle around the central counter. 

Gray forces her aimless pondering to stop as he takes her hand. Her eyes dart from the light grip on her hand to his eyes, hers narrowing in annoyance. 

Gray couldn't bare it. Juvia never looked at him with such hatred. She can't control the way she's feeling right now, and he's aware that anything she may spit at him won't be from her heart. It's not her, he had to remind himself. She's suffered a loss, and he has too. Her end is only much, much more painful, as she was the one who had to experience losing her unborn child. 

The two hadn't been married for long, and after Juvia discovers she's pregnant only five months into their marriage, she was delighted with excitement anyway. They never discussed exactly when kids could go on the table, yet the surprise out of nowhere was bliss. 

Juvia would go day and night protesting she needed solitude, and begged him to take a job request. On the verge of accepting, he changed his mind in an instant and stayed for her. Gray couldn't control his thoughts and his worst fear was that Juvia may do something stupid to hurt herself. 

She snatches her hand out of his grip, turning away and continuing to dawdle, "Juvia, can you come back to bed?" She shakes her head, "Please?" Another objection as Gray follows her circular path. 

"Can you take a shower then? I think it'll do you good." 

Her head shakes roughly this time, and Gray manages to catch a brief sound of sniffling, her feet remaining fixed on the floor. 

"Bath?" Gray suggests, keeping his distance in case she slaps away his touch once more, "It'll make you sleepy." 

With a release of an exhausted sigh, she agrees. "Fine." Juvia's never so blunt in her words. 

"I'll run it," He leaps in front of her before she can enter their bedroom, "Lie down for a minute, okay?" 

Juvia obliges, carefully placing herself on the edge of the mattress, not lying down, instead slouched in her seat, her fingers fiddling and pulling with the ends of her socks. Anything for a distraction. 

Gray was still in surprise of how the girl hadn't yet fainted. She'd lacked in both sleep, and eating. Truthfully, he can't remember the last time he saw something enter her system. She hadn't dropped by the guild since before the incident, refused to allow people inside the apartment, including Gajeel, and had stop using the terms "Gray-sama", when referring to her beloved husband. Gray may have found it irritating way back in the day, but now it's just not the same. He can't stand watching her suffer. What struck him down most is that he may have been trying his best to make life easier for her, however nothing was helping. 

The only other person aware of their current situation was Erza. She advised Gray he just needed to give her time, she'll come around eventually. Her biggest concern was Gray's wellbeing. He's gone through hell, and this time instead of moping around, complaining about life and frankly wishing he wasn't around anymore, he wasn't letting himself cry it out. He desperately wanted Juvia to at least smile. Her smile is what keeps him going. Without it, what's the point? 

Honestly, all Gray needed right now was to weep his depressive thoughts into someone's chest. Only this time, he can't to Juvia. She's already killing herself with guilt. 

Juvia dismally thanks Gray for running her bath as she enters the bathroom, her shirt already undone and the shoulders draping down her arms. Gray choses to leave her in peace, about to open the door and wait eyes open in their bed for her. Until Juvia latches her hand onto his, tugging him back inside. "Can you stay in here with me?" 

Juvia swirls her hand around the decently heated water, while the other is in Gray's hand as he is sat on the floor next to the tub. Her hold was weak, but at least the two were touching each other, even if it was only a hand hold. 

Neither of them spoke. Sitting in silence with each other was enough for now. 

"I'm really sorry." Juvia startles Gray as her voice cracks, breaking the silence.

"For what?" 

"The past few days," Her hand swirling ends, looking up with her watering eyes into Gray's, "I've been really cold to you. I'm not making this any easier."

"Nothing about this is easy, Juvia," If anything, Gray's wishes were the opposite of her sincere, unneeded and unwanted apologies, "You don't have to apologise. You don't need to," He lifts his hand from hers, brushing it down her dampened hair, caressing her cherubic cheeks, "It's only your way of coping. I know you don't mean anything you say." 

Juvia appreciates nothing more than her darling's kind words. Even though no smile was emitted, he knew she took his words to heart as her hand placed on top of his, turning her face slightly and planting her lips on the corner of his palm.

Unfortunately, his light touches and sweet words weren't enough for her to keep back a gush of tears. Her gloomful teardrops splatter into his hand, whimpers and sniffles following. 

_ _ _

Juvia pleaded Gray to leave her in peace in the lukewarm bathtub after her flood of tears had escaped. Gray was unsure of what to say. All she needed from him was brief contact, and of course an immediate change of heart occurred as her drops of sadness had faded. 

Gray left behind another one of his shirts and some clean underwear for Juvia. He refused to acknowledge his exhaustion and remained awake while patiently awaiting Juvia's return to their bedroom. 

Almost 04:30, Gray peeps up at the door as it creaks open. Juvia tiresomely walks through, the drips in her wet hair seeping through her braids, and the buttons on her shirt done up in the wrong order. It didn't bother her, though. She probably didn't even notice. 

Gray opens up the covers for her side, the eye contact absent as she crawls in beside him, switching off the lamp as she does so. 

Juvia lays on her side, facing Gray yet not exchanging any form of contact with him. Gray desperately wanted to pull her close to him, cuddle in their sleep and once again be comfortable with one another. She craved the space, though. 

"Juvia," He breathes, trailing his hand towards hers, implying a moment of contact, which thankfully she agrees to, "I hate seeing you beat yourself up." 

Silence. 

"Tomorrow will you at least go outside? Even if it's only a small walk." 

Her grip in his hand loosens, thinking it over. "I don't know..." 

After picturing the absolute elation portrayed on her face, spectating her suffering was agonising for him. 

At first, she was panicky, anxious and frightened of what Gray would think of her pregnancy. On the outside, she remained mature and adult-like, keeping the situation and her emotions under control. 

"Gray-sama?" Juvia starts as she's sat on the bathroom counter, Gray opposite and leant on the wall with his arms folded, "What if it really is positive? What will we do?" 

Juvia had been concerned whether she was pregnant or not for about four days. She first noticed her period was late, but that had happened before. Her cycle was up and down, so the notice in change wasn't a first sign of pregnancy. 

"What do you want?" Gray wasn't sure at this point. 

Gray was the one who proposed taking a pregnancy test just to make sure, as much as Juvia objected that she couldn't possibly be. 

"Well, would Gray-sama mind if Juvia is pregnant? Would it bother you?" 

Gray's response is quick with a head shake, "To be honest, no." Juvia peers up with her teeth nibbling her lip, "My main concern if you, Juvia. If you don't want to have a baby right now, that's your choice. This isn't really mine to make." Gray's tone had always been bland and he's a closed book, making their moment difficult for Juvia. 

"I want your opinion, Gray-sama." 

He tilts his head for a moment, what did he really think about this? 

"I..." Gray questioned his possible skills as a father, already wondering whether he made a good husband before hand, "We've been married for almost six months, and these months have been the best of my life. I like having fun with you, when it's just the two of us. I know you want kids at some point, and so do I. So... if you wanna have a baby now, I'd be happy with it." 

Juvia profoundly smiles at his honesty. She'd enjoyed her relationship with Gray-sama before they were even in one. She's loved him for years, and being pregnant with his baby would make her happier than ever. Even if it's sooner than she thought it'd happen. 

She realises the timer had ended, and takes the test behind her, hovering her thumb over the result before taking a look. Gray steps closer, grabbing her hand while staring down at the test. Trembling, she slips her thumb aside to see two red lines, indicating a positive test. 

"Juvia, I'm back." Gray announces himself as he enters their apartment.

As he closes the door, he quickly takes note how it's suddenly began to pour rain from outside. The windows are drowning in the water, and only a moment ago the sun was out. He hadn't seen rain like this in god knows how long. 

"Juvia?" He calls again, after no response. 

After searching the kitchen and living room, he heads to their bedroom. He opens the door to notice ruffled sheets, and towards the edge of the bed, a puddle of red was sinking into the mattress. 

Gray catches the sounds of whimpers coming from the bathroom. Struck with confusion, he storms inside and witnesses his wife on the dark towel covering the tiled floor, dressed in one of his shirts. For support, her arms depended on the edge of the bathtub, while her face dug into her arm, soaking with tears. 

Gray drops to the floor, gently shaking her arm in attempt to get words out of her. She refuses, shaking her head over and over again as her whimpers become cries of distraught. Finally, Gray notices a gush of blood between her legs. 

#gruvia week #gruvia week 2021 #fairy tail #gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #writing #gruvia angst

[atiny-dazzlinglight]

Red Strings of Fate - Chapter 3

Genre: Fantasy, Fluff, Angst, Slight Humor, Romance

Rating: PG-13

Au/Tropes: Supernatural AU, Demons AU, Monster AU

Pairing: No pairing, Eventual OT8

WC: 14.9K

Chapter Warnings: Symptoms of PTSD mentioned, Jealousy, Manipulation, Implied Smut (at the end but no graphic details)

Ao3 Link

Notes: As I said in the last chapter notes, we are back into Hongjoong’s pov and we are continuing from where we last left off. So please enjoy!

Taglist located at the bottom. Fill out this form if you want to be added.

Last Adventure☜︎☜︎ Next Adventure☞︎☞︎

Hongjoong eyes widened as he felt the other male bring his arms in front of him, stretching them both out in front of him.

He watched the prince’s hand touch the hilt of his sword and that’s when Hongjoong squirmed.

“ I asked a question. Your left hand or your right hand?” He drew his sword closer as he bent down.

“ Please! Don’t do this! I do anything else! Just don’t cut off either of my hands.” Hongjoong pleads, his heart beating fast and damn near in his throat. He hasn’t felt this type of fear since Liam and Elijah. His body started to feel numb as Seonghwa sat there as he decided which hand he wanted to cut.

Hongjoong squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to think of something other than the fact that he’ll be losing a hand. The advisor was holding his forearms firmly and out the way as his sword hovered before selecting his left hand.

Seonghwa nearly brought the sword down and through the flesh and bone of his wrist when he stopped. The faintness of aura seeped into the air and had his body hesitate. It was nothing great from the array of beings he dealt with before, but it’s more so the fact of that type of malicious aura coming from a human.

The prince used his free hand to lift Hongjoong’s chin, “ What are you?”

Hongjoong was confused as he looked up at is blue eyes, “ What?”

“ Don’t try to lie to me. I asked you what you are?” He watched his brows get furrow, clearly a tad annoyed from his first answer.

“ I’m a human.”

“ Don’t lie to me.” Seonghwa grit through his teeth as Hongjoong shook his head back and forth.

“ I swear! I’m just a human man who has human parents and average human strength. There is nothing else to me. A simple peasant boy and nothing more!” Hongjoong yelled at him, his voice firm as he felt his head get pushed down near the ground.

“ Watch your tone.” The man above him said as Hongjoong tried to shake his hand off of him.

Seonghwa had glanced at his advisor. Hongjoong watches them have a silent conversation through their eyes for a minute before Hongjoong gets pulled up off the ground and made to stand on his feet. The bag he stole snatched off his hip as he watched the prince hang it from his belt.

He walked past Hongjoong, and the shorter male watched him before he shoved him to follow. The brown-haired elf gave him a look when he turned around. Hongjoong huffed as he just followed him, knowing very well that he can’t outrun them again. His legs were still screaming at him due to their soreness.

Hongjoong walked through the less crowded area that he ran through just some moments ago. He looked around at the brick structures, covered with vines, a few flowers blooming that he didn’t notice before that he found pretty.

“Don’t even think about trying to escape from us again.” He heard the elf behind him say as he turned his head behind to look at him.

“ Can I have your name?” Hongjoong asked, and he can tell that he threw the wood elf off. His brows raised enough to give himself away.

“Why would you want to know?”

“Well, it’s annoying to try and talk to someone without addressing them with at least a name. I was raised better than that.” Hongjoong watched the man’s face before he slowly opened his mouth.

“It’s Yeosang.”

“Well, Yeosang, I would like to tell you that I have no plans to escape because my legs are still screaming at me even now as we walk, so no, I don’t plan on escaping,” Hongjoong spoke, watching him all the same as he noticed they made it back to the Main Street of where he first ran from them.

Hongjoong watched the prince head back to the stands, and when Hongjoong went to follow, his shoulder was gripped tightly and turned in the opposite direction.

“I thought we were following the prince,” Hongjoong asked as he forced him to go in the direction of a carriage, opening the door to move him inside. He watched the elf say something to the driver before getting in himself and shutting the door.

“ We will be staying here until the young prince comes back from finishing his errands he was supposed to do before you foolishly stole from him.” Yeosang spat out, obviously still passed that he had to bring him here.

“Again, I am sorry for what I did, but I truly needed the money.” Hongjoong watched as that only made the other man more upset.

“You don’t have to steal from people to gain money. There are always other options. It’s the lowest of lows to steal from others.” Yeosang criticized him, and it slowly started to make him irritated.

“You know I have been trying to get a regular job since I traveled here three years ago. I did everything I could for a job and was denied every second I tried. I was forced to be homeless for six months, and I still struggle to find a solid job, even after someone was kind enough to offer me a home. I wasn’t raised to steal by my parents, but when the people and the city are so unforgiving to me every chance they get, am I supposed to accept it?”

Yeosang wasn’t expecting him to speak to him like that, and he tried his best not to have that shred of pity for him show on his face, “ Everyone has a hard time at some point in their lives. You haven’t seen anyone steal here.”

Hongjoong scoffed, and it made Yeosang turn his attention back to him, “ Just because you don’t hear or see anything doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. I’ve seen plenty of them because we can all recognize each other.”

“It’s not that many of them. There’s always a group of bad people in a sea of good.” Yeosang rebuked, but Hongjoong was quick to respond.

“The line between good and evil and what is right and wrong can be blurred, and if you work in that damn castle, then you should know that very well. Not all the people who steal are bad because they have to choose to steal to make ends meet simply. If stealing were such an issue, there would have been reports about such, yet they never make a fuss because what’s pocket change to you is a fortune for us. Our values and lifestyles are the opposite of each other, so just because you can’t fathom the idea doesn’t mean you are right.”

Hongjoong didn’t care how reckless his tongue was. He wasn’t going to let some uppity wood elf, who only knows how to kiss the ass of the rich that has gold endlessly, fall into their hands. He can royally fuck off.

He saw it in his face.

He saw that he wanted to argue back with him, and he was ready for him to, but then the door of the carriage opened to reveal the prince holding a few things. He looked between the two of them with a raised brow.

“ Was there something that I missed?” He asked, looking at Yeosang, waiting for a response.

Yeosang gave him another look before turning back to the prince, “ Everything is fine. Do you need any help?”

Seonghwa nodded, passing the flowers and bags of fruit to Yeosang, telling the driver to head back to the castle before climbing inside next to Yeosang. Hongjoong felt the carriage move as he huffed.

He should have just listened to Eden. He told him not to get too greedy, or he would deal with the consequences.

But what else was he supposed to do?

Eden stuck his neck out to help him instead of living on the street for the rest of his life. Eden started by stealing until he could have enough to open his tavern. Since then, he had a simple life, and even when following the proper protocols, the city takes most of his earnings and barely has enough for his expenses.

He even makes sure to feed him and make sure that he’s well-nourished and is clean.

All he wanted to do was give the man that helped him start a new life after being forced to start over again, and he couldn’t even do that.

Hongjoong didn’t want to look sad in the carriage with the two elves, but the shift in his demeanor and facial expressions didn’t go unnoticed by the prince that stayed silent.

Seonghwa couldn’t wrap his head around what gave off that malevolent energy from the supposedly human male. It didn’t look like he could use magic, and he gives off no type of physical distinctions of being nonhuman. So what could it be?

He couldn’t help his c,urious nature about it. He hasn't come across someone like him, and he just had to figure it out for himself before he disposed of him.

The carriage stopped and Yeosang was quick to open the door for the prince and Hongjoong tried his hardest not to roll his eyes at his eagerness. The Prince stepped out first, and Hongjoong followed after Yeosang retrieved the purchases they made in town.

Hongjoong eyes scanned the massive structure in front of him, eyes glancing at the fountain in front of the building, slowly walking along the perimeter, mouth slightly agape.

He has always seen the manor from the tavern, and it was always quite beautiful from there, but seeing it in person was something different.

It was elegant and refined. It was truthfully exquisite, curious and Hongjoong found himself angry that he would have dreamed of something like this.

“If you're done daydreaming, follow me,” Yeosang said, making the smaller man turned to him. They both started to walk inside, and Hongjoong rushed to follow behind them, ignoring the side glances that the guards had given him.

The walls were massive, ceilings high with the sun gleaming on the stained glass from the colorful windows above them. Paintings of other high elves mounted on the wall that Hongjoong admired before he nearly bumped into the back of Yeosang.

He watched Seonghwa walk away down the hall, hair flowing behind him as Hongjoong found him watching the prince's body get smaller before he was plucked in the center of his forehead. Looking up, he saw the wood elf scowl at him.

“ Follow me, and don’t you dare try any unnecessary crap.” He scolds, and he ticked Hongjoong off for how he acted towards him.

“ I’ll follow if you tell me where exactly we are going.”

“ I don’t have to tell you anything.”

“ Then I’ll stay right here in this hall.” Hongjoong moved to the wall before sitting down on the floor, enjoying the irritated look on his face.

“ By the Gods, why are you humans so damn difficult?” He berated and it made Hongjoong give a dry laugh.

“ By the Gods, why are wood elves so damn stuck up?” Hongjoong retorted with a smile as he watched him get angrier, “ I promise I can be such an easy guest here and for you, but if you continue to be such a prick to me, I’ll make everything worse for you.”

Yeosang walked over to him and reached for his arm, pulling him up, “ I promise that I’ll cut your tongue off with my sword if you keep running your mouth like this.”

“ If you or the prince wanted to do something, you two would have done that by now. But instead, you brought me here. I don’t know why you both had brought me here against my will, but I do know that if he didn’t tell you to do anything to me, then you can’t.” Hongjoong shook out of his grip as they both stared at each other, “ Now start treating me with some common decency and then this can be easier for us both.”

Yeosang looked at the man up and down, thinking over what he said before mumbling something that Hongjoong couldn’t hear and walking away from the human, “ Just follow me to the living quarters.”

Hongjoong taking his time to follow behind him, a few feet behind him as he stared into the back of the wood elf’s head, “ Why am I going to the living quarters?”

“ Would you prefer the dungeon instead? You living with the other servants of the family sounds too generous in my eyes.” Yeosang looked over and nearly laughed as Hongjoong quickly shook his head, “ So, as I said, that is where I am taking you for now.”

Hongjoong was confused. He tried to steal from the prince and he didn’t lose any limbs. The dungeon would be the most appropriate place for him to be, but he will stay around the other workers who also live in this massive estate. It didn’t make sense to him, and it made him a bit uneasy since he feels that there’s an ulterior motive for doing this.

Hongjoong was led far down the corridor, passing other workers that greeted them and waved at Yeosang or ask him for quick advice that he happily answered. He could tell that they all looked up to the elf and valued his input. Yeosang also looked genuinely happy and satisfied to help them. So maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as bad as Hongjoong seemed.

Yet again, the harsh behavior could be due to his sticky fingers grabbing the heavy bag of gold and running away when they gave him a chance to return it with no issues.

“ This will be your room until the prince says otherwise.” Yeosang pushed a door open and stepped to the side to let Hongjoong step inside. Hongjoong quietly walked inside, mouth slightly open as he looked at the beautiful room. He walked around the bed, admiring its size as Yeosang watched him from the door. Hongjoong hand touched the sheets and was amazed by how soft they were.

Hongjoong felt like this room cost way more than his life and his next two lives too.

He’s never been in such a place before and he couldn’t help but be stunned by its elegance.

“ Thank you.” Hongjoong’s voice was low, but Yeosang heard him, a tad intrigued by his reactions.

“ If you plan to thank anyone, then thank the prince when he comes by the room. Stay in this room until he comes back and tells you what you can and cannot do. I have other tasks to take care of, so I will be leaving you here alone. However, that doesn’t mean that you can do anything stupid and try to escape. If you try to leave, I will personally come after you myself. Do I make myself clear?” Hongjoong nodded as Yeosang spoke to him.

Hongjoong watched Yeosang close the door and his footsteps leading down the hall before it got quiet.

Hongjoong let out a deep sigh as he took his boots off as he looked around the room, his toes wiggling in the plush carpet underneath his feet as he never felt something this soft. He wondered what animal the fur came from.

He pushed it all to his mind as he walked around the perimeter of the room, hands dragging across the wooden dressers.

He pulled open the drawers to find some clothes sitting inside. He wasn’t sure if he should touch them or not. He doesn't want to give the tawny-haired elf any type of motivation to yell at him. Not that he cared, but more so that he didn’t feel like dealing with that.

So Hongjoong silently walked back to the bed and hesitantly sat down on its expensive sheets. They were soft to his touch. Fingers gliding with ease as he somewhat became enthralled with the material that he never experienced before. It was then that he decided to lay down on the bed completely.

He felt his body slightly sink into it, almost welcoming him with such ease that he closed his eyes for a minute.

Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know how long he would be able to touch such luxury. He exhaled before inhaling the strong smell of fresh cotton from the bed, and Hongjoong felt his aching muscles from running sigh along with him.

He would do anything to be with Eden and laugh around with the patrons of his tavern because that’s his home, but he can’t help but wish to be entangled in this lifestyle just a bit longer.

The moment Hongjoong’s body started to quiet down and convince him to relax in this unfamiliar place, the door opened suddenly, and it made him open his eyes and immediately sit up in the bed.

He greeted him with the face of the prince, who happened to be alone this time. You couldn’t see Yeosang at all from where he sat, and he didn’t see him in the hall either before he shut the door behind him.

It was quiet.

Both of them were staring at each other. Hongjoong, not knowing what to expect from the prince, sat back near the headboard of the large bed. Seonghwa's eyes were piercing him as it felt like he was planning something that Hongjoong had no idea of.

“ It’s good to see that you got comfortable enough for a nap here, but now I have business to talk to you about.” His tone was harsh, and Hongjoong knew that he better pay attention to what he had to say. “First off, I’ll introduce myself. I am the first prince of Crescent Hill and next in line to the throne, Park Seonghwa. What is yours?”

Hongjoong swallowed before answering him, “K-Kim Hongjoong.”

“So Kim Hongjoong is the name of the man who was foolish enough to steal from me in broad daylight?” Seonghwa started as he walked away from the door and made his way to the center of the room. Hongjoong’s eyes following him the whole time he moved, “ But this is now besides that point of you being a petty thief.”

“Then what is this about?” Hongjoong asked him as he adjusted himself on the bed. Hongjoong admiring his side profile before he stopped his pacing and turned his head in his direction.

“ What did I ask you out in the alleyway?” Seonghwa hinted at and watched Hongjoong rake up his brain for the answer before looking back up at the high elf.

“ You had asked me what I was?”

“ And I still need an answer to the question.” Seonghwa turned his body to face him completely.

Hongjoong huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “ I did give you an answer. Whether you find the answer I gave earlier efficient enough is a problem for you and not myself.”

It was then that Seonghwa crossed the room very quickly and had slammed his hand beside Hongjoong’s head on the headboard. It startled Hongjoong enough to jump and stare up at the prince with wide eyes. His blonde brows were furrowed and his eyes were sharp.

“ You may have human strength and some human agility, but your aura says differently. I know I’m not wrong in this.” Seonghwa argued and he saw the confusion in Hongjoong’s expression once more.

“ What is an aura?” He questioned, a slight tilt of his head as he waited for an answer from him.

“ Aura is this very distinctive atmosphere that surrounds and is generated by a person, place, and thing. Whether it is small or big, there’s some type of aura surrounding everything around us. So that also includes humans, but usually, it’s a tiny amount of aura that’s produced from them, and they are all generally the same.” He explains in great detail as Hongjoong listens.

“ So, what is the problem with my aura?” Hongjoong looked up at the elf, now curious in his reasonings.

“ Despite it being faint, I sensed such evil and tainted aura coming from you that wouldn’t be possible for a regular human to generate. As much as history knows, it’s completely unheard, yet here you are.” Seonghwa gritted through his teeth, and it made Hongjoong glance down.

None of this made any sense to him. He was strictly human and nothing less.

How could he be walking around with a ‘tainted’ aura like this?

It made his head spin as the back of his head rested against the headboard. Seonghwa pulled his face away but was still fairly close as he sat down on the bed. He was still staring at him when he looked up.

“ I seriously don’t know how to answer your assumptions about me. I was born by human parents and was surrounded by nothing but humans for the most part. I wouldn’t know how this could happen.” Hongjoong’s eyes were cast down, still lost in thought as Seonghwa tried to think of some possible explanation.

“ You said you were surrounded by humans ‘ for the most part.’ So I can assume that you are around other beings besides them. If that is true, then can you tell me what type of species you commonly stayed around.”

Hongjoong gave an empty laugh as he looked back up at the prince, a look of agitation in his eyes, “ My old home had a small number of nonhumans who lived there peacefully, but there was a pair of demons who decided to make my life a living hell because I stopped them from hurting someone.”

Hongjoong crossed over his chest as he chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about, “ It was always stupid things and nothing serious, but the last time, they crossed the line and hurt me real bad.”

His mind flashed to that brutal beating. He heard their morphed voices and laughter echoing in his head until it overlapped, and he wanted to leave his mind. He was hearing Ava screaming for them to stop and to leave him alone. He was feeling incapable of breathing since he got slammed down. Remembering how weak he felt, how tiny he truly felt, and how hopeless he felt.

Seonghwa watched the look of pain and terror rise to his face, and it took him by surprise. The smaller male was squeezing his arms so tightly that he could see his blunt nails slowly dig into his skin. He could see him holding his breath and never exhaling.

“ Kim Hongjoong?” He questioned, hesitantly reaching forward to tap his leg.

Hongjoong was so deep in the nightmare replaying in his head that when he felt something touch him, he jumped back. Panicked, he looked forward and realized who was in front of him.

Wasn’t he in the alley?

“ Are you okay?” Seonghwa grew concerned for him. He knows nothing of what those demons did to him, but for them to cause a reaction like this from just thinking back to it.

Hongjoong finally took a deep breath and released his hold on his arms as they fell to his sides. He couldn’t find the strength to look up at him after all of that. His hand reached up to wipe away the tears that almost threatened to fall in front of the prince. It made him angry with himself.

Hongjoong didn’t want to show this man his weaknesses, but I’m guessing he couldn’t control himself as his mind had spiraled out of control. But maybe it had brought some clarification to him.

He was a human, but his aura was ‘supposedly’ evil.

Hongjoong had finally looked up at Seonghwa, who was patiently waiting for him to respond to him, “ Could aura be transferred to another person?”

Seonghwa brought up his hand to rest his chin in, “ Most of the time, beings that can control their auras usually place them on valuables or their territories, so no one bothers them. I haven’t heard of them placing their auras on other people.”

Could that explain everything? It could be the reason why it is so faint and why most people wouldn’t notice it. But again, what if he is just trying to trick him into escaping? Seonghwa doesn't think that he is that much of a fool, but he did steal from him.

Seonghwa looked back up at the man, “ When did that situation happen?”

Hongjoong ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to calm himself down slowly, “ I was 18 when it happened, and I’m 21 now.”

“ That sounds more than just aura. Do you regularly hang around such demons?” Seonghwa questioned him, watching his body finally ease itself against the wooden bed frame.

“ Demons and nonhumans never really scared me before, even after that incident. I haven’t been around any of them since I was here, but then again, some kinds hide in plain sight, and I wouldn’t know. Does aura not stay attached for that long?” Hongjoong tilted his head, and it made him look more childlike to the prince.

“ It’s unheard of as far as my knowledge, but I’ll figure that out for myself,” Seonghwa stood up from the bed and walked back to the center of the room, “ Because of my need to learn and comprehend everything, I want to figure out the mystery of this dark aura that surrounds you. You’ll be under surveillance for as long as that takes. I won’t bind you to this room and you're allowed to walk throughout the premises and you will be fed and bathed. Try and escape and I will put you down and just examine your corpse if need be. Do you understand, Kim Hongjoong?”

“ B-but what about my life outside of here? I can’t just stay here!”

Hongjoong is grateful that they aren’t killing him or taking any limbs from him, but he would rather be back in the tavern with Eden and the rest of the tavern’s patrons.

“ You should have thought about that before you committed the deeds that you did. Try if you must, but it would only result in death.” Seonghwa gave him a stern look. He knew he was serious.

Hongjoong couldn’t just run like how he did in town. This was a heavily guarded place with trained guards. He was royally screwed.

“ Oh, before I forget,” Seonghwa watched the smaller man process his words as he walked back to the door before looking over his shoulder. A grin that gave no sense of calm to Hongjoong’s nerves

“ Welcome to the Park Estate, Kim Hongjoong. I do hope you enjoy your stay.”

THREE WEEKS LATER

Several days had passed since he was invited ( very much forced) to stay in the royal family’s estate who ruled over the town he lived in.

It was honestly better than what he had initially imagined. The staff was told that he was new help, so he simply joined in with some of their duties.

With him joining with the help, he traveled throughout the massive home and had a bit of an idea of where everything was.

The left side of the estate was where the King and his family, meaning Seonghwa, lived. Some higher-up employees, such as Yeosang and some generals in charge of warriors, stayed there as well. There were some standard rooms like the study, the library, and meeting halls, but he knows nothing as far as anything else.

The center of the estate is where the main hall room was located and the kitchen and a few other rooms that he didn't know about. He only passes some of these rooms because he has to go clean some of these areas.

The right side of the estate was where he and the other staff members lived. Everyone had a bedroom, storage, and bathrooms, while some shared a common area. It was shocking to see so many staff there that were genuinely eager, let alone happy, to work for the prince and the family. Even though Hongjoong says that he can’t blame them when he bears witness to how well they are treated.

While Hongjoong truly wants to be back home with Eden, he did make friends with some of the other staff that managed to keep him hopeful and happy.

One of the friends he made was a young man named Subin. He’s been working there for a little over a year. Even though his main job is cleaning-related, he never voices any compliments and is usually in a good mood whenever he speaks. It’s always nice talking to him, and he gives him a good laugh when he needs one.

Hongjoong pretty much did a little bit of everything, even though he wasn’t supposed to. He was usually just supposed to clean a particular area that he was assigned for the day, but he would always end up helping the staff in the kitchen or tending the vast gardens. He even helped some of the warriors polish their weapons after battle and sparring.

Neither Yeosang nor Seonghwa predicted how fast Hongjoong would become well-liked at the estate, but that was just Hongjoong’s personality and friendly nature.

It was just another day Hongjoong had finished his tasks for the day and bored out of his mind. He was walking by the stained windows as he gazed outside into the town, wondering if he could see the tavern again before he heard loud giggles echoing the halls along with fast pitter-pattering of feet.

Hongjoong turned his head in the sound direction before he felt something bump into his legs and let out an ‘oof. Looking down, he saw two children, one on the floor and the other one catching up the other.

“I told you to be more careful!” The taller one yelled as the other one rubbed her nose.

Hongjoong squatted down to be her height as he tried to make sure she had no wounds or marks on her body, “ Hey, are you okay?”

The tiny child looked up at him and nodded, “ My nose hurts, but I’m okay!” She rubbed her nose before looking up at Hongjoong.

Hongjoong gave her a soft smile and also offered his hand to help her stand. The bigger child had watched Hongjoong help her up, “ Are you new?”

Hongjoong nodded as he looked at her, noticing how the younger of the two stared up at his face, “ I’m Hongjoong. What’s your name?” Hongjoong kept his tone light and friendly as the little girl smiled at him.

“ Elva!” She yelled, and it made Hongjoong giggle.

“ What a pretty name,” He looked up at the other child, “ And yours is?”

“ I’m Estel. She’s my little sister.” Estel watched her younger sister reach for him; arms stretched that had Hongjoong shocked himself. She watched him hesitantly lift the girl, and she smiled the moment that he did. Hongjoong had her body resting on her forearm.

“ Can you take us to the kitchen, please? We were on our way to get us some snacks.” Elva giggled as she waited for him to answer.

“ Well, you asked so sweetly, so how could I say no to you?” Hongjoong said as he started to turn his body before looking at the older of the two, “ Will you still be joining us?”

Estel shook her shock as she nodded as Hongjoong started to head for the stairs, Estel looping her arm when he walked. Estel watched her sister talk the man’s head off, still shocked that she trusted and got comfortable with the random man so fast in so little time.

Estel knew her sister was usually wary of any new person for a while, whether she met them or not. But this was the first time either of them had seen the man Hongjoong, yet there she was in the kind man’s arms.

Hongjoong didn’t notice the other sister’s stare as the younger talked his head off about the different foods she liked to eat, nor did he notice how some of the staff glanced at him to see the sister’s so close to him when he was barely in the castle for a month.

But they continued to walk down the stairs and made their way to the kitchen. Hongjoong used his shoulder to push the door open and peek inside, seeing a familiar face. The man turned his head after hearing the door, and he watched the man sigh.

“ What do you want now, Hongjoong?” He put down the knife he was using and stared at him.

“ Well, I missed you too Jin, but I wanted to get some snacks for myself and these two,” showing both sisters, and it made Jin widen his eyes.

“ Didn’t I give you two snacks earlier? Why are you back here, and you brought him back too.” Jin pinched the bridge of his nose as Hongjoong put Elva down.

“ Can’t we have a bit more Mr. Jin? Please?~” Elva ran over and clung to his leg.

“ If I keep giving you sweets and you fatten up, your mother and the prince will have my head!” Jin exclaimed as he rubbed his throat, and it only made her giggle.

“ We would never let him hurt you” Estel smiled as she eyed the desserts on the table that Hongjoong’s eyes also caught as he moved closer to the tray.

“ Jin, what type of dessert is this? I haven’t seen those before.” Hongjoong tore his eyes away for a split second to look at Jin with a childlike gaze.

Before Jin could speak, one of his assistants, Jaemin, came inside with an empty tray, “ Those are peach puffs.”

“They look fluffy and soft and look delicious~” Estel added as she and Hongjoong stared at each other and looked back at the tray. Elva was heading back to them, asking for Hongjoong to pick her back up, and he did.

Hongjoong knew the look that she had. It was the very same look he gave when he decided to steal from the prince.

Without a second thought, Estel snatched two puffs in her tiny hands, “ Grab one for Elva!” Estel yelled as Jin tried to run over to them.

Hongjoong hesitated for a split second before taking a puff as well and rushing out the door, hearing Jaemin’s laughter and Jin’s nagging.

“I make it up to you tonight, Mr. Jin!~” Hongjoong shouted as he followed behind the girl with her giggling as they ran. He knew Jin wasn’t going to chase him and just smack his hands when he sees him again.

They slowed down and sat down in the hall by the steps on the floor. He gave Elva her puff before placing her in his lap, smiling when she started munching on it. Estel handed Hongjoong his own, and you all ate the puffs quietly in the halls.

There was a sort of peace as you three ate the stolen food on the floor enjoying the silence as they enjoyed the sweet treat. The peaches were fresh, and the cream was fluffy. Hongjoong was enjoying his time with the sisters as his eyes were closed.

“Ddeonghwa!”

Hongjoong’s eyes opened as he watched Elva scurry out of his lap and run towards the blonde prince; his blue eyes were staring at Hongjoong, a stoic look on his face until Elva drew closer and he gave her a sweet smile.

A smile that Hongjoong didn’t know the man could take.

“ Now, what are you doing out here? Are you and Estel causing trouble? ” The prince’s voice was soft, maybe even delicate as he crouched down, opening his arms as she ran right into them.

“ We ate some peach puffs with Hongjoong!” She yells as she goes to feed the last bit of puff she had to Seonghwa, who chuckled and opened his mouth.

“ It does taste delicious.” Seonghwa smiled as Hongjoong watched with wide eyes.

Estel had gotten up as well, a big smile gracing her face as she ran over to hug him as well, “ Are you busy with duties for the rest of the day?”

“ No, I just came back from finishing my tasks for the day.” Seonghwa tucked her dark hair behind her ear as he spoke.

“ Can we go to the gardens then?” Elva asked with big doe eyes, hoping that the man would say yes.

“ Of course we can go. Would you like to go now?” Seonghwa tilted his head as she jumped up and down with excitement, a clear yes by her actions.

“ Oh! Can we bring Hongjoong with us too?” Estel asked and both Hongjoong and Seonghwa weren't expecting her to ask that. They both had looked at each other, not initially knowing how to answer it.

Hongjoong tried to help the prince as he’s stood up, “ Maybe I shouldn’t go with you all-”

“ Nooooo,” Elva runs over to him, clinging onto his leg, “ Please come with us, so can I show you the flowers there pleaseeeee.” She begged and Hongjoong felt like he couldn’t tell her no.

“ Join us, Kim Hongjoong. It’s quite hard to tell the little one no.” Seonghwa spoke, looking at him with eyes that were unreadable as Hongjoong eventually agreed.

The sisters eventually pulled both of them out towards the gardens, Seonghwa sitting on one of the benches as the sisters pulled Hongjoong around to the flowers that they found were pretty. Hongjoong stared at the white camellias and pink roses that Hongjoong found himself getting so enthralled in them as he reached out to touch them all.

Seonghwa watched from where he sat, watching Hongjoong’s movements as he noticed the childlike gaze he had just for the flowers, and Seonghwa found his face softening a bit.

They were just flowers. They weren’t too memorable or unique, but here was the tiny human being memorized by some vibrant flowers.

Seonghwa immediately found it foolish and childish in his mind, but something in the back of his mind found his reactions adorable, and the moment that it crossed his mind, he froze and shook his head back and forth to get rid of the thought.

He looked back up and realized that the sisters were pulling the man before, having him sit right beside him. He smiled at them as they told them they would get them both a surprise and ran away before either of them could say anything.

The moment the girls were far enough away from them, Seonghwa’s smile dropped, and he turned to face the shorter man, “ What ulterior motives do you have, Kim Hongjoong?”

Hongjoong giggled, his legs crossed as he leaned back onto the bench before turning to look him in the eyes, “ I was waiting for you to say something to me. I wasn’t expecting you to do it so soon, though.”

“ Answer my question.”

Seonghwa watched him roll his eyes before looking back at him, “ There’s no motive or planning. I like my life very much. Those lovely children ran into me in the halls after I finished my duties for the day. Elva asked for me to come with them to the kitchen.”

Seonghwa stared at him, nowhere near satisfied with his answer, “They don’t usually warm up to any new faces so fast. Perhaps, you used some type of magic on them.”

“ Wouldn’t such a high-ranked elf like you would have noticed any magic traces on them as you did with the tiny amount of dark energy on me?” Hongjoong raised his brow and it took everything in him not to laugh at the look on the prince's face.

It was a mix of shock and maybe a pinch of flustered as he watched him scramble to try and respond to him, his mouth opening and closing, not knowing what to say.

Hongjoong found that face more fitting on him than the stoic one he walks around with.

It makes him look younger. It made him look youthful.

It made him look cuter.

Huh?

“ I guess you're right….” The prince mumbled, not looking at him anymore

Hongjoong, being lost in his thoughts, nearly missed what he said, “ Did you just say I was right?”

“ I did,” Seonghwa answered, feeling Hongjoong lean closer to him.

“ Say it again.”

“ What?”

“ Say that I was right again.” Hongjoong pushed, moving closer to the elf, feeling their thighs touch.

“ No,” Seonghwa turned to the side. He felt the man close the distance between them again, and he was ready to yell at him when he turned his head around, but his voice died down when he noticed how close their faces were.

Hongjoong wasn’t expecting him to turn around either, and he knew the prince could see him visibly swallow as he also took note of their closeness. The last time he had his face this close to his face was when they were in his room, and he was threatening him with the sword.

But now, there were no weapons in sight. It was just the two of them, up close and personal. Hongjoong couldn’t stop his eyes from looking over the handsome face. He found himself admiring his cheekbones, the shape of his nose, and daringly eyeing his lips.

They looked pretty and soft before his eyes glanced back up to catch the pair of bright lapis staring back at him.

He was waiting for the man to yell for his staring and the lack of personal space, but it never came. He just kept eye contact with him, and Hongjoong wasn’t sure what he should do. He knew that he could see the faintest of blush coat his cheeks, and he was going to lose it.

By the gods, he was lucky to be broken from the trance as he heard the sisters yell for them as they got remotely closer to them.

Hongjoong was quick to move back to where there was a reasonable amount of distance between them, and he heard Seonghwa clear his throat and turned his head back away from him.

Hongjoong smacked his cheeks a bit before quickly putting on a smile as Elva ran over to him, her hands dirty from the soil as Estel came over with some flowers in her hands. Hongjoong picked the younger sister up and sat her on his lap, and Estel sat in between him and Seonghwa, which he was grateful for. “ What were you two up to for you both to have such dirty fingers?”

Hongjoong’s tone was light and bubbly as he took out a cloth from his pants pocket and gently took her tiny hands to clean them.

“ We found some pretty flowers and we pulled two up for you both!” She squeals as Estel hands them both a flower. It was a red Gardenia and Hongjoong brought it to his nose to smell, smiling when he did.

“ This is a beautiful flower. Thank you.” He gave them a big smile that they quickly returned, not catching Seonghwa looking at him once more with a smile that went unnoticed by the party as the children talked both of their ears off, but they didn’t mind as they sat in the gardens with them.

They both stayed there with them, idly talking and playing with the children, as they were watched from the window, their earlier interaction not going unnoticed as a brow twitched before walking away.

ONE MONTH LATER

It’s been about six weeks since Hongjoong was made to stay there in the castle, and the time he was having there was completely different from that initial week.

Especially when it came between him and the prince of the estate.

He found his eyes lingering on the prince whenever he walked past him, or he caught him after a lesson or meeting. Sometimes, he would see the prince meeting his gaze, and it would immediately make his face flash and have him quickly walk away.

He didn't know why he started to get so nervous around the elf prince, but he did. Ever since their trip to the gardens with the children, he hasn’t been able to look at him calmly.

Speaking of the sisters, Estel and Elva always tried to steal him away while he was doing his tasks for the day. Whether it was bringing in shipments from other cities to him having to clean the floors and windows thoroughly, they tried their best to steal him away.

The other workers found it amusing, never really minding if they stayed out, not as they worked since they never really caused anyone trouble, but they did find it odd how much they went to strictly Hongjoong and no one else.

Hongjoong had just managed to avoid the sisters, both feeling mischievous as they were messing with Subin before quickly asking where the small brown-haired man was.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love their company, but he just didn’t have the energy to play with them. Sadly, they didn’t give up that easily, and they were chasing him.

Hongjoong had some reasonable distance between these girls, them both giggling and smiling as they were trying to catch up. “ Hongjoong, where are you going?” Estel giggles and it took everything in him not to laugh.

He glanced around the halls, spotting a wooden door and quickly opening and shutting it silently as he pressed his ear against the door. Hongjoong heard the girls go past the door, quickly stopping when they couldn’t hear his steps or see him since it was a long hallway.

“ Where did he go?” Elva asked, confused as Hongjoong backed away from the door. He knew their hearing was better than his, so he tried his best not to make any sounds. His eyes never leaving the door until he bumped into something and a hand quickly covered over his mouth.

Hongjoong’s heart jumped into his throat as he tried to turn around and was greeted by those same hypnotizing blue eyes as he leaned to his ear, “ Say calm if you want the girls to leave.”

His voice was low and it sent a shiver down his spine, but he stayed still and quiet. He could still hear the girls talking right outside the door.

“ You think he went into here,” Elva asked, pointing to the door that indeed had Hongjoong right behind it.

“ I don’t think he did. No one is allowed in there and that includes Hongjoong,” Estel thought for a bit before the two heard a sigh. “ We lost him, Estel, so let’s go and get some snacks from Mr.Jin!”

Hongjoong heard Elva make this happy noise as she started to run off to the kitchen, Estel right on her tail as the footsteps and laughter slowly went away, and Hongjoong let out a sigh, unconsciously resting his head against his body and Seonghwa stiffened a bit.

Seonghwa stared to the top of his head, staying completely still and not knowing what to do for a minute.

Hongjoong, unknowing of him stiffening behind him, turned around to face him for a split second before looking past him, “What room is this?”

Seonghwa snapped out of it for a split second before turning around to look in his direction, “This is the castor room. This is where I study and learn new magic.”

Hongjoong walked deeper into the room, eyeing the tree and wood decor in the room, his eyes trailing to the colored glass that brought in the light that illuminated the room. Hongjoong eyes landed on the book that must have been where Seonghwa was sitting.

“So you plan on staying here, even though the young ones left you alone already?” Seonghwa walked past him as he sat back in the chair that Hongjoong was eyeing. He turned in his seat, leaning back to look at him and wait for his answer.

“ I won’t touch anything. I just want to watch you work. I finished my task for the day and I have never seen magic before, so I’m a bit curious.” Hongjoong admitted as he eyed the chair that was next to him.

Seonghwa thought it over, tempted to send him off so he could enjoy his time alone like he usually does. But glancing at the look on his face and eyes made him sigh and turned back around. “ Sit in the chair and don’t touch anything.”

Hongjoong sat in a chair, far away from Seonghwa and his work. Hongjoong eyes scanned the table and saw the books and vials that were over most of the table. His eyes were trailing up to look at the elf prince, who was focused on the text in the book.

His blonde hair pulled back this time in a ponytail, a few loose hairs as his eyes scanned over the text. His hand reached for the feather and dipped it in ink before writing some notes on his own, him noting how pretty his handwriting was as well before looking back up to his face.

Hongjoong doesn’t know how he found himself staring at his profile as he worked, despite wanting to bother him just a bit. He was just enamored with how the gods decided to sculpt such a beautiful-looking man.

He had to be honest. He found Seonghwa attractive. Yeah, he tried to kill him and take his fingers from him, but he was still hot.

Hongjoong chuckled to himself and the sound drew in Seonghwa’s attention, “ What’s so amusing over there?” He asked as he got up, grabbed some materials from a shelf, and brought them back to the table.

“ Would you prefer that I be honest?” Hongjoong asked.

“ I don’t like being lied to, so yes.”

“ I was sitting here thinking about how handsome you are.”

He almost dropped the materials in his hands.

“ Pardon?”

“ You told me to be honest and I said I was sitting here thinking about how handsome you were. Do you not know that you are handsome?” Hongjoong tilted his head, eyes glancing back at the other vials, his fingers tempted to reach out and touch them.

“It’s not that I don’t know that I have good looks, but that’s not what I was expecting to hear. But why would that have made you laugh?”

“ I thought that despite you threatening to take off any type of limbs, I couldn’t lie and say you aren’t attractive. I don’t think I can be good-looking anymore if I lose an arm.” Hongjoong smiled as he dragged his fingertips over the vials, despite being told not to touch anything.

“ A missing limb wouldn’t make you less attractive,” Seonghwa said bluntly, and Hongjoong wasn’t expecting that type of response. It made him stare at the icy blonde prince.

“ I’m sorry, what was that?”

“ I know you heard me loud and clear, but maybe those human ears of yours aren’t too good, so listen closely,” Seonghwa grabbed his collar, making Hongjoong yelp as Seonghwa ghosted his lips by the shell of Hongjoong’s ear, “ I said a missing limb wouldn’t make you less attractive, Kim Hongjoong.”

Hongjoong felt the blush cover his cheeks and a shiver run down his spine from having his voice and breath so close to him. His voice sounded more profound than usual, or was that just his mind playing with him? But this man. This prince had called him attractive and he didn't know how to react to that.

Seonghwa enjoyed the silence from the man as he let go of his collar and went back to focusing on the magic in front of him. He watched from the corner of his eye at how Hongjoong adjusted himself before getting comfortable and watching him work once more.

He enjoyed the sort of “ peace” that befell them both. It was comfortable and relaxing as the only thing Seonghwa could hear was him mixing the elixirs and potions and the glasses occasionally clinking together. But then his ear picked up on a sound that made him look over again.

He saw the tiny man with his head resting in his arms, lightly snoring. He watched his shoulders rise slowly with every breath, and tossed his hair slightly to the side.

Seonghwa marked where he was at last and closed his book before turning to face him fully. He slowly reached over and moved his hair out of his eyes. He pulled his hand back when Hongjoong moved before going still again.

Seonghwa found himself gradually leaning closer, basking in the scent that was rolling off of him. He couldn’t put his finger on it. He never had the chance to figure out what his smell was when he got close the last few times.

Seonghwa didn’t even realize how close he had gotten to Hongjoong’s sleeping face. His nose was almost brushing against him, and he didn’t fully grasp the idea that he wanted to kiss his forehead. But that sounds….wrong.

He shouldn’t desire to do such a thing, especially someone who should just be treated like a common thief. Everything in Seonghwa’s mind told him not to do it, and he knew his lips were inches away. All he had to do was inch a tiny bit forward and he would do it.

Just a tad bit closer and that’s it. Just that simple. But it still felt wrong.

It took a few seconds, but Seonghwa relaxed and looked back at the sleeping man before backing up in his seat. He knew better and he wouldn’t. Whatever urge he had will be swallowed and locked away since he knows it was wrong.

But at the very least, he petted his head and couldn’t stop the small smile as he leaned into his hand a bit.

Seonghwa enjoyed the feeling before he heard a quick knock on the door before it swung open. Seonghwa pulled his hand away fast and went back to grab his book, almost doing it in such a calm and collected manner as if he wasn’t petting the sleeping man.

Yeosang turned around and brought Seonghwa his tea with a smile before he stopped, his eyes immediately locking on the Hongjoong.

Yeosang did his best not to have his face falter as he walked over to the table, sitting the tray of fruits and tea down on a nearby table, “ I brought you some fruits and tea. I didn’t know you would have a guest, or else I would have brought another cup of tea.”

“ This wasn’t planned, but there is no need for that,” Seonghwa reached over and grabbed a strawberry and took a bite from it, letting out a tiny hum as it touched his tongue, “ But I appreciate the snacks. I was a bit famished.”

“ Then you should be eating something more filling.” Yeosang quipped, boldly stealing a grape for himself and popping it into his mouth as he saw the prince smile.

“Then do you know what is being prepared for lunch, Yeosang?.”

“ I can find out if you’d like.”

“ There’s no need for that,” Seonghwa stood up and went for another book on the shelf, “ You do enough for me as it is.”

Yeosang looked back at Hongjoong, sending the sleeping man a look that Seonghwa couldn’t see before fixing it as the prince turned around. Yeosang watched the head back to the table, seemingly comfortable with having Hongjoong stay beside him like that.

“ Yeosang, do you know what the rest of my day looks like? I didn’t meet with the King recently.” Seonghwa asked, eyes glued to the new book in his hands.

Yeosang stepped forward, on the opposite side of the table from Hongjoong, “ As far as today, you have to spar with the general and Lady Nora before dinner. Your schedule is quite free beside the event the King had planned that needs your actual attendance.”

Yeosang watched the man tsk as he looked at him, “ It is coming up, isn’t it? I don’t want to be there.”

“ I don't either, but you know we have no say for this one. You already have some attire being made; the seamstress is almost finished with that. You have the fitting tomorrow, and then the event is two days from now.” Yeosang explained as he heard another deep sigh from Seonghwa.

“ I don’t want to be in the faces of so many nobilities, especially with most of them being fools and not wanting to listen. You ask how to improve things, I tell them, and they don't listen or just resort to saying I’m a spoil and know-it-all brat that understands nothing. But if that's the case, why ask me for my input to begin with? This happens all night long, and you know this.” Seonghwa allowed himself to slip into his chair just a bit and Yeosang gave a small smile at the action.

“I’ll assist you the best way I can.” Yeosang bows slightly and Seonghwa gives a smile of his own before his head turns around when he hears a groan coming from his left. He watched Hongjoong stretch and sat up from where he was, yawning and stretching his arms. Hongjoong turned and looked over at Seonghwa before his eyes turned to look at Yeosang.

“ I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.” Hongjoong rubbed his eyes a bit and the prince thought it made him more childlike as he watched him.

“ I would have woken you up if it was a nuisance for me.” Seonghwa pointed out a comment that didn’t go unnoticed by the advisor, “ Also, while I’m thinking of it, there is an event that will be happening in two days, and you will also have to attend.

“Why?” He wasn’t expecting both Hongjoong and Yeosang to say it at the same time.

“ Only you and I know the real reason why Kim Hongjoong is in this castle, but to others, he is a mere worker. Just like the rest of them, he will be working and most likely be a server to the guests.” Seonghwa pointed out and Yeosang got quiet. Choose to say no.

Hongjoong knew he was right, and he didn't have a choice to say no in this type of situation. “I’ll do my best during this event.”

“ I expect you to.”

TWO DAYS LATER

“Never knew you could clean up so well, Hongjoong. Almost didn’t recognize you.” Subin teased, adjusting his clothes as he smiled at him.

The two of you had spent the day together getting everything ready for the event that’s happening tonight. You expected not to see the Prince and his advisor until the evening, and so far, you’ve been correct. After all the necessary preparations, the workers were all told to change and hurry back before the guest arrived.

Hongjoong eyed himself in the large mirror, admiring his appearance. He never dressed in something like this before, primarily to him not being able to afford something like this. He was dressed in white. A long-sleeved flint-colored top that was buttoned as that top before split down the center passed his belly button and stopped at his knees with delicate gold details that could go unnoticed. White pants that were a bit scrunched at the ankle due to his height, but nothing too bad to where he would walk on them. A high necked vested jacket latched at the top before flowing down and stopping at his thighs. The latch was gold, the edges of the material, and some white and gold shoes to match.

It was pretty simple in appearance, but it indeed was the fanciest thing he had worn. Subin was wearing the same color scheme but was designed differently. “ So funny, now let’s hurry up because we have to go back.”

“ Do you remember how to get there?”

“ No, not at all, so hurry up so you can show me how to get there.” Hongjoong laughed with Subin as they walked out of the room, following other staff that had to work.

If Hongjoong was honest with himself, he didn’t want to help any rich and stuck-up assholes tonight, but he knows he can’t say that out loud. Luckily, Subin would be there with him to brighten the mood.

Jin told them to station a table on the end, and you two were happy to be stuck together.

You both watched how quickly the hall filled up, countless demons, monsters, and humans all dressed in the finest of silks and fabrics to impress each other, and it took everything in Hongjoong to not roll his eyes. He believes that they might get stuck in his head if he did so.

But he did what he was told along with Subin, serving any and everyone that approached their tables. He was a bit shocked when some thanked them but wasn’t surprised by the judging looks he did receive.

Hongjoong found himself getting tired fast, having Subin kick his shin once in and while to keep him up. But soon enough, that kick felt like nothing.

“ Hongjoong, wake up! The prince has arrived!” Subin whispered yell as they both turned towards the more oversized doors.

Hongjoong straightened up and had his eyes glued as he finally got his first look at the King and Queen, Seonghwa’s parents. His father gave off a regal aura; His hair flowed down to his mid-back. He was dressed in black, white, and gold. Hongjoong could see some of the finest jewels adorning his neck apart from his attire.

His eyes went to Seonghwa’s mother and she must have been the most elegant woman he has ever seen, dressed in layers of silk and expensive fabrics that flowed around her beautifully. Her beautiful headdress and intricate hairstyle made her shine like an actual jewel.

But then his eyes landed on the prince, and it felt like his breath got caught in his throat. He was adorned in all black, a great contrast to his pale skin and blonde hair. His attire was flowy as well, similar to his mother’s. As he saw them walk past, he noticed embroidery of dragons on the sleeves and along the collar and hem of his clothes.

His eyes followed him as he walked behind his parents, having Subin smack his arm once more to gain his attention once he noticed some guests walk to their table. But no matter how many times Subin had to slap his arm, he found his eyes going back to Seonghwa.

Maybe it’s because admiring the prince’s beauty made him focus enough to stay up now after seeing countless forgettable faces. But then it became something more familiar when he noticed Yeosang heading to the table.

His pants were plain and straightforward and just white in color. He was dressed in this black vest with a high collar. The seams are traced in white trim, and wearing black and gold cuffs on his wrists. This other piece was a fabric matching his shirt and had a white border and some gold.

“ Mr.Kang, I wasn’t expecting you to come by,” Subin said with a smile, and Hongjoong watched the corners of Yeosang’s lips curve upwards.

“ It’s good to see you as well, Subin.” Yeosang turned his head to look at Hongjoong, and he noticed a slight change in his gaze, “ Nice to see you too, Hongjoong.”

“Anything that you would like?” Hongjoong asked him as Yeosang’s eyes scanned over the array of foods, leaning over to look at it all before standing up once more.

“ I’ll come back later since I’m not quite hungry yet. I plan on seeing you two later then, so make sure you two enjoy yourselves later on.” Yeosang told them before heading off just as quickly as he arrived.

Subin was distracted for a split second when another guest missed the quick change in Yeosang’s face. His eyes narrowed, a frown on his lips before turning his head once more to head back to Seonghwa.

Hongjoong found it odd. He knew the advisor wasn’t fond of him and would prefer if he was dead, but the look in his eyes this time seemed more intense than before.

He just pushed it to the back of his head before he felt Subin smack his arm once more, this time to get his attention as Jin arrived. “

“ You both are done for now. Eat and relax. Just don’t cause any trouble for me, or I’ll have your head. “ He threatened before pushing both of them away, Hongjoong laughing a bit.

“ Now you know you would mourn my death. I’m quite fun to be around.” Hongjoong joked as Jin kicked his ankle as they both stumbled away laughing.

Hongjoong and Subin had made their way to some of the other workers that were switched out to eat. It was away from the more high-status guests, but Hongjoong preferred that.

He has fun and enjoys his time with them. Maybe it’s because this was something that he wished he could have back in his hometown with Ava. Perhaps he’ll get some money and get her to visit.

He knows that’s not a realistic plan, but he could dream.

“ Did he zone out? Oi Hongjoong!”

Hongjoong looked up and realized that Eric, one of the other coworkers that he has made friends with, was calling him. “Hm? What is it?”

“Did you hear anything that I just said?” The younger asked and Hongjoong gave a sheepish laugh before saying no. The boy rolled his eyes before giving him a look.

“ I said that soon with have to go from table to table and collect and dishes and trash from them,” Eric explained, and Hongjoong couldn’t stop the look that appeared on his face.

“ Why can’t they get rid of their trash?” The words flew from his lips quicker than necessary.

“ Look, it's a party for the rich and they are all guests of the family. They aren’t supposed to lift a finger for anything as trivial as cleaning up after themselves.” Eric says sarcastically, a grin on his face as he ate more food, “ You knew what you were getting into when hired here, Hongjoong, so don’t get stupid now.”

“ Aren’t I older than you? Who are you calling stupid?” Hongjoong brow raised and gave him a look that Eric wasn’t fazed by.

“ If you know you aren’t stupid, don’t get offended by it. But seriously, Jin or someone higher up will have your head if you're disrespectful to them. So even if they do something, bite your tongue.” Eric gives him an honest look and Hongjoong huffed.

Subin pats his shoulder, “ It should be fast since most of us are doing that, so don’t worry too much. Okay.” Subin gave a dimpled smile and Hongjoong let out a small smile of his own.

He enjoys this. Bickering and smiling with each other felt very on end and it’s a bit bittersweet that it’s with people that he just met and not his parents. Well, with his mother, yes, but it would be nice if his father were included in that as well.

Before he knew it, they were all splitting up which tables they were going to and grabbed some carts before heading off.

Hongjoong took a deep breath before putting on a fake smile and approached the first table. His greeting was friendly and respectful as he asked if anyone was done with their plates. Some raised their hands and he came over and collected everything that they were finished with. He made sure not to make eye contact with them despite a few leering into the side of his head.

Hongjoong was quick to bow before leaving and dropping his smile the moment he was gone. He nearly mumbled something under his breath before remembering that no humans were sitting at these tables.

So Hongjoong continued this pattern with a fake smile, cleaning and leaving until he reached this last table. He could tell that he was an elf by the pointed ears, and the man was sitting there all alone.

“Excuse me, sir, but are you finished with your food? I'm here to collect your dirty dishes if so.”

The man tilted his head up and gave a light smile, “ Don’t your cheeks hurt from smiling like that? I gave you no reason to smile and neither did those other snot-nosed nobles. Relax and treat me like normal.”

“ I’m sorry, but I-”

“ I may be a royal, but I'm nobody to them. I would rather be treated regularly than a noble,” He turned in his seat before putting his dirty plate on himself as Hongjoong just stared at him, “ I didn’t catch your name. What is it?”

He shook his head as he looked at him, “ my name is Hongjoong.”

“ Hongjoong. That’s a different name, but I like it. I’m Prince Gerold, but I don’t need any formalities. Gerold is just fine.”

“ How could you tell that my smile was fake?” Hongjoong asked, stepping a bit closer to the man.

“ Cause you gave the same type of smiles that I do.” He rested his head in his hand as he glanced back to Hongjoong, “ Please sit, or you can’t waste any time chit-chatting with me?”

“ Well, I’m not supposed to do anything that would upset the ‘royals,’ but since I’m not upsetting you, it should be fine.” Hongjoong watched the smile grow a bit bigger on his face.

“ Well, then let’s sit and chat only for a little while. Maybe this event won’t be as boring as anticipated.”

༄༄༄

Seonghwa was tired.

He was ready to call it a night the moment he stepped into the grand room. But of course, being the son of the current king kept him occupied and busy.

He had to answer to some neighboring townships as well, as they praised him with cheers about what a great king he’ll be, and by the gods, was Seonghwa tired of the repetition.

There were questions on what he would do once his father steps down and how many children of his own he plans to have or if he has selected a queen.

Soon to Seonghwa ear’s, their voices became inaudible and would only pick up a few words that would remind him of what the bloody hell they were talking about.

While some of the guests started to talk to themselves, Seonghwa’s eyes swelled across the crowd as he was quick to stop once he saw a familiar brown hair at a table.

He watched him talk to one of the nobles. It didn’t seem like it was anything terrible because Hongjoong looked utterly relaxed.

But the more he stared, the more he realized that he looked a tad bit too relaxed.

He was able to see how close they were to each other as they talked about whatever. He could see the other person putting his arm on the back of Hongjoong’s chair and give a grin.

He couldn’t read their lips, but he did know that something had made Hongjoong laugh, and the smile was genuine. It made his heart jump a tad bit before remembering that it wasn’t directed towards him. It was someone that he just met and made him smile big like that.

Fascinating.

“ Prince Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa turned back to look at the guests in front of him, “ Yes, what is it?”

They pointed to the glass in his hand, and his eyes followed suit and noticed how tight his grip was on the glass. It caught him off guard cause he never saw his grip tightening. He placed the tall glass down on the table.

“ Are you okay, Prince Seonghwa? Did we say something to upset you?” Seonghwa could see the concern on their face and he snapped out of the slight haze he was in.

“No, it wasn’t you. However, I do have some business that I need to handle. Please enjoy this event to the fullest.” The prince gave a slight bow and smiled before quickly heading off, his feet with a mind of his own.

༄༄༄

Maybe nobles weren’t all too bad.

Hongjoong knew he was supposed to be working, but he couldn’t find himself getting up and ending this conversation. Prince Gerold had a charm about him that just made him stay. Maybe it’s because he was somewhat of an outcast among the nobles and he just seems a bit more humble in a sense.

He found himself smiling and laughing as they talked, not noticing how close the man had gotten or how friendly they would look to any guests. He was just hoping that he wouldn’t get into too much trouble.

“ Hongjoong, can I asked you something?” Prince Gerold tilted his head as he looked at him.

“ Of course. What is it?”

“ Would you like to leave this party? It’s not quite as interesting as you.” Prince Gerold grinned.

Hongjoong wasn’t expecting him to ask such a question. He wouldn’t mind being with him a bit longer, but he knows very well that if he leaves after all this, he might get killed by Jin. or even worse. Get killed by Yeosang.

“ Oh, I don’t think I can. I’m supposed to be working right now, to begin with, so if I leave, I’ll get in tro-” Hongjoong breath hitched when he was pulled a bit closer to him by his chair, catching him off guard.

“ Come on~ We could walk through the city or the gardens and just have a good time. You don’t wanna spend that time with me?” Prince Gerold’s smile was sweet, but maybe it felt a little too sweet that made Hongjoong want to leave, but he couldn’t. It felt like his legs were made of steel.

“ B-but I have to-”

“ I thought we were having fun together. Just for a little bit. I promise to bring you back before this shit of a party is.” Prince Gerold grabbed his hand gently, a complete opposite from the tone, despite being laced with sweet words. His thumb rubbed over his knuckles before bringing his hand to his mouth. He placed tender kisses on each one. Hongjoong wanted to pull his arm away, walk away and deal with all forms of scolding from Subin and Jin, then stay here. Even though he thought that he couldn’t move. Was it fear? Was he scared again? He just wanted to leave.

“Let’s go. I’ll sneak you out to avoid any trouble.”

“Well, it’s a bit too late for that now, is it?” Hongjoong watched how quickly his eyes looked up and passed him, and despite still not being able to move, he knew who was behind him. He knew that voice well enough.

“Ah, Prince Seonghwa. A great party you have here. Not my cup of tea, though, so I planned to leave here with this lovely muse, so if you don’t mind.” Prince Gerold stood up, still holding Hongjoong’s hand. He wasn’t expecting to stand up with such ease when he struggled to do it with his willpower. Hongjoong finally glanced over at Seonghwa as Prince Gerold tries to walk past him.

Hongjoong felt his shoulder get gripped on, and it felt like lightning struck him the moment the elf prince touched him. It made his ears ring, then his spine tingled, and his toes curl before he was finally able to pull his arm away. He faced Seonghwa in shock, but his gaze was rigid set on the other prince in front of him.

“ You went out of your way to compel him? You lured him in with such a fake smile and tried to snatch him off somewhere else. Truly pathetic.” Seonghwa's voice was cold, and he enjoyed the way his lip twitched as he spoke to him, “ You have some nerve bothering my workers.”

“ Now you're saying that as if you care about all of your workers.” He smirks as he crossed his arms.

“ Why wouldn’t I? Their hard work made this event as successful as it is. I owe them all some proper gratitude for their efforts, and it’s just a shame that they still have to deal with something as rotten as you.” Seonghwa stepped forward, right in front of Hongjoong and gave him such a cold glare that made the smirk fall from his face and replaced with a scowl.

“ You watch who you're talking to!” He growled out and Seonghwa laughed in his face.

“ Oh, and what would you do? Did you forget that part of the land that your father owns was a gracious gift from us? Did you forget how much we helped you and your father get to where you are? We hand-fed you everything, and it would be just as easy to make you starve. Be foolish enough to doubt my bluff, and I will personally ruin you. You need us. We don’t need you.” Seonghwa’s aura crackled, and it made the other Prince step back even more from them.

“All of this fuss and threats over one of the hundreds of workers?!”

“ For your information, I hand-picked this one, so yes. Now I suggest you leave like previously intended,” Seonghwa grabbed Hongjoong’s rest and started to walk away. Hongjoong turned around to at him before Seonghwa’s voice cut through the air, “ Don’t look at him.”

Seonghwa walked fast and scouted the area before stepping up to Subin and tapping his shoulder. Subin turned around and nearly dropped the plates he had in his hands. “ Prince Seonghwa! W-what can I do for you?”

“ Take care of the rest of Hongjoong’s work if you don’t mind. I need him for something else more important.” It was then that Subin noticed Hongjoong behind him, and it looked like Subin was trying to get a sense from him about what happened, but Hongjoong sheepishly looked away.

“ Of course! I’ll get right on it.” Subin bows before heading past them and Seonghwa continues to pull Hongjoong out and out the doors, not going unnoticed by the prince’s advisors as he gives a sharp gaze with furrowed brows.

Once Hongjoong believes that they were far enough from anyone, he spoke up, “ Seonghwa, where are we going?….”

“ Just wait. We're almost there.” Seonghwa gave a short response as he guided them through halls that Hongjoong had never been down before; he opened a door and pulled them both inside before shutting the door. That’s when Seonghwa finally let go of his wrist and slumped against the door.

Hongjoong watched how the prince’s back and shoulders slouched before looking up at him. “ Are you okay?”

Seonghwa made a small smile, “ I should be asking you that. A nonhuman just compelled you. The longer you stayed there, the more control he would have had on you.”

Hongjoong looked at his hands and legs, moving them slightly, “ I thought it was fear again. I thought I was that scared and couldn’t move. Not because of magic.”

Hongjoong missed the soft look he gave him as he stayed by the door, “ No. It was magic that a good variety of nonhumans know. If you can use magic or have any items to help you comply, it is quite easy to do. Humans usually fall prey to it naturally. Folks of magic sense other magic, so it would never have worked.”

Hongjoong gave a tiny smile, “ That’s good to know, but that just reminds me of how much weaker I am to everything.”

Seonghwa pushed himself off the door and stood in front of him, “Humans can learn magic too if they practice hard enough. The only way you can stop being weak is if you put the time and effort into being strong. You don’t just need to be physically stronger to beat someone. There are other ways, and I'm sure you would be capable of it.”

Hongjoong looked up at his eyes and let out a laugh, “ Who would have thought that your words would give me some comfort,” Hongjoong rubbed the back up his neck and stared at the ground, “ Thank you.”

“ There’s no need to thank me.”

“ Yes, there is. I found myself in some trouble and I was lucky enough that you were there to help me. I’m sorry for causing trouble and making you leave the party. I’ll—I’ll take whatever lecture or punishment for everything.” Hongjoong stared at his hands.

It could have gone a completely different way and Hongjoong didn’t even want to think what would happen if no one came over to stop him.

“ I was forced to attend this party. I’m the next in line to the throne, so of course, I had to be there. I would have rather hid than talked the same nonsense with all of those guests. And did you think I dragged you all the way here just to lecture you?” Seonghwa raised a brow as he gave him an amused look.

Hongjoong looked back with a confused look, “ Then why did you drag me here? Was it just a chance for you to get away from this event?”

Seonghwa walked past him and headed towards the window, the moon illuminating his skin in hair and almost making him glow, “ Maybe you do have some magic because I don’t know why, but you have been compelling me all on your own.”

Hongjoong slowly walked towards him but kept some distance, “ What does that even mean? Whatever you have to say, just say it.”

Seonghwa never turned around, “ I’ve developed some feelings for you.”

It was silent. No sound was made as they both stood in the same spot. Seonghwa expected this type of reaction and silence, so it took the silence to elaborate more.

“ I don’t know when it started, but I can be honest enough to say that I have developed some type of feelings for you. Maybe it started when I watched how caring and nurturing you were with Estal and Elva and how much they genuinely adored you. I was worried about you manipulating them, but they seem smitten with you. Most people don’t like them because of their mother, but they’re innocent in that matter.”

Hongjoong quietly walked over as Seonghwa continued to talk, just listening to the words that came out of his mouth.

“ Then I started to notice the little reactions and thoughts I would have about you. I didn’t think I could do it after stopping the last time I had feelings for someone. But then you came along, stealing from me in broad daylight and slowly stealing away my heart before I even knew it.” Seonghwa turned slightly to see Hongjoong just a couple of inches behind him.

The prince turned to face him, “ I came over there not because I knew you were in danger. I originally came over there cause my heart couldn’t stand the image of you smiling at someone else. I nearly shattered a glass when it ran through my mind. Like I couldn’t allow it and that’s out of character for me.”

Seonghwa could sense it. His honesty was overwhelming Hongjoong and that’s not what he wanted at all. He could feel and see how tense he was as he stood there.

“ I’m not asking you to recuperate my feelings. I threatened you into staying here and I can’t blame you for hating me. I…I just wanted to get these words off my chest. Don’t feel inclined to return them. You have my word on that.”

Hongjoong finally looked up at him, “ I don’t hate you.”

“ You don’t?”

“ I don’t. Everything you did was logical, especially after what I’ve done. I just don’t know how to take someone saying they ‘care’ for me.” Hongjoong walked towards the window, looking out at the moon-casted town as Seonghwa watched him.

“ Did you not come from a loving home?” Seonghwa asked as he saw Hongjoong frowned at first before giving a smile.

Hongjoong pressed his hand to the glass, “ In the end, my mother cared the most about just one other person and me. So in a sense, yes, I did. But I’ve never had someone admit having feelings for me. I just don’t know how to respond.”

“You don’t have to. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.” Seonghwa gently placed a hand on his shoulder and was happy that he didn’t tense up from it.

“ You sure?”

“ I swear on it.”

Hongjoong turned around to face him. They both stared down at each other, but Seonghwa’s eyes glanced down to his lips before forcing himself to look away, “ What is it?”

Seonghwa shook his head, “ I don’t want to ask that of you. I can’t ask that from you.” He was speaking more to himself and was about to ramble until Hongjoong gripped his chin and made him look back at him.

“ What did you want to ask me?” Hongjoong’s voice was as firm as it could be as he looked up into those ocean eyes of his.

Seonghwa stares for a while longer before letting out a sigh, “ Can I kiss you?”

Hongjoong was hesitant as he twiddled with his thumbs, “ I haven’t kissed anyone before...”

“ Then maybe you shouldn’t waste that on me. I just wanted to ask.” Seonghwa turned around and started heading towards the door, “ You can stay here until the party ends. I must head back to-”

“ It wouldn’t be a waste….” Hongjoong shifted on his heels

Seonghwa stopped, “ That’s not a yes. I’m no creep. I won’t do anything to you unless you give me a solid yes.”

“ That’s embarrassing for me to say!”

“ Embarrassing to want consent?” Seonghwa raised a blonde brow and Hongjoong grew quiet. He took the silence as an answer and as his hand reached the doorknob.

“Please!”

Seonghwa looked back at the man and noticed the faint blush on his face.

“ You...you can kiss me.”

Hongjoong listens to Seonghwa’s footsteps as he walked towards him again. “ Look at me.” He heard Seonghwa’s voice as he slowly looked up at him. “ Are you sure about this?”

Hongjoong hasn’t felt this nervous before. He wasn’t being pressured into anything. He had complete and utter control of this situation, and as much as he was worried about this, he found himself wanting it as well. “ I am, but you might have to guide me.”

Seonghwa gently tilts his face up and Hongjoong’s eyes looked up at him, “ You can tell me to stop at any time.”

Hongjoong nodded as Seonghwa slowly closed the distance between them. His eyes fluttered close when he felt his breath against his lips. He knew he could probably hear his heart pound. Seonghwa stroked his cheek with his thumb as his lips pressed to his.

His lips were soft against his. Hongjoong felt himself relax as Seonghwa pulled back slightly, opening his own eyes, and found Seonghwa staring back at him. They were quiet as they looked back at each other before Hongjoong leaned forward and Seonghwa leaned back in to kiss him again.

Seonghwa moved his lips slowly, so Hongjoong could learn how to kiss. Hongjoong tried his best to follow him, steadily getting better as Seonghwa cupped his face. Hongjoong found himself slowly reaching up to grip his shoulders. He relaxed more as he started to kiss him with a bit more force, catching Seonghwa off guard a bit.

He pulled away to look at Hongjoong, panting a bit as before speaking, “ Maybe...that’s enough for now.”

“ B-but…”

“ I’m afraid that I’ll do something more if we keep going, so let’s not continue this.” Seonghwa put some more space in between the two.

“ I want to keep going, though.” Hongjoong found a small amount of confidence as he looked at him and Seonghwa gave him an unreadable look.

“ Don’t say something like that to me. I’m trying to have some self-control. Don’t do this because of me admitting my feelings. What you're doing is more than enough. Don’t feel pressured to do anything with me.” Seonghwa's voice was harsh sounding, but Hongjoong wasn’t offended by it.

“ I’m not asking you to have self-control. I want more too. I’m not pressured. I feel comfortable and relaxed right now. I have the confidence right now to say this out loud, so don’t let it go to waste.” Hongjoong stared at him with flushed cheeks before slowly walking to the bed and sitting on it, “ I’ll tell you to stop if I have to. Just make sure your self-control is as good as you say it is.”

Seonghwa gave him a look before walking to him, standing in front of him, slowly pushing his body down on the bed and hovering above. Seonghwa could see how relaxed he was and could sense how confident he was in his choices right now. He feels hesitant, despite Hongjoong giving him all the consent he would need. His fingers flexed beside his head, and now he felt his heart pound. It was only when Hongjoong gently grabbed his wrist, forcing him to look at him.

“ It’s alright. I told you it’s okay. Don’t chicken out on me now, or I’ll feel silly about all this.” Hongjoong gave him an awkward chuckle as he reached to cup his face and brings him closer to him.

Seonghwa closed his eyes for a split second before looking back at him with a soft smile, “ Don’t go regretting this in the morning, Kim Hongjoong.”

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Tagging: @atiny-piratequeen @gettin-a-lil-hanse @queen-of-himbos @jacksons-goddess-gaia @kimnamshiks

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©atiny-dazzlinglight 2021. do not repost, translate, or use my works without permission

#kdiarynet #8makes1teamnet #kpopficsnetwork #dee writes #red strings of fate #RSF CH.3 #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez ot8 fic #hongjoong oneshot #seonghwa oneshot #yunho oneshot #yeosang oneshot #san oneshot #mingi oneshot #wooyoung oneshot #jongho oneshot #ateez oneshot

[jinkicake]

A Little Bit of Love, My Love Non-Stop!

You’re the well-known girl's volleyball captain and everyone adores you, secretly wanting you all to themselves. Too bad Ushijima beat them to it, but nobody knows that just yet.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x Reader 

For anon~~ I hope you like it!! I love Ushijima, I really do. I feel like because there are so many different ways to write him he never gets boring. My love is for you Ushijima! 

There is smut. 

WC- 3,676

~~~

“(Y/N) do you want to go grab something to eat?” Your vice-captain calls over her shoulder as the two of you change in the locker rooms after practice.

“Ah, I can’t I have to finish an assignment.” You zip up the sides of your skirt before sending her a sympathetic smile.

“Come on, those two college boys from earlier want to hang out.” She presses and you simply shake your head. “Are you working on calculus?” She asks and you dart your eyes to stare at your shoes, biting your lip to think of a response. 

You are almost certain she can tell you’re lying.

“No, it’s that literature assignment. I’m already so behind on it!” Your mind blanks as you lie straight through your teeth but your friend nods her head in understanding, she won’t say anymore. You sigh in relief and throw your bag over your shoulder. “I have to stop by the other gym to see if they have more braces in case we need some for the game tomorrow, so I’ll see you later okay?” You wave goodbye and she sends you a smile, then you’re out the door.

It’s almost become a routine, after practice every Thursday you make your way to the other gym. It’s always late and the gym is practically empty, except for one lone player.

The sounds of a volleyball smacking into the floor grow louder with each step you take. You bunch your sweater in your hands when a small breeze brushes past your bare legs. Once you finally reach the open door you notice the only player still left in the gym.

Ushijima glances at you briefly before continuing to work on his serves and you take this time to closely watch how his body moves. You can’t look away. Your eyes follow his exposed thighs and your legs clench together every time his flex. Were his short always so short? They leave nothing to imagine and look like they’re going to rip at the seams, your mouth begins to grow dry.

You try to clear your thoughts and walk towards the bleachers, scrolling on your phone as you wait patiently for him to finish his individual practice. Another toss is thrown up in the air and he arches into the spike, black shirt rising and exposing the smooth abdomen underneath showing years of hard work. His chest heaves with each breath he takes and he rests his hands on his thighs after the consecutive spikes. This causes his shorts to inch up even higher. You feel like you’re on fire, a fire only he can put out.

Your favorite part of this routine is when Ushijima walks back to the locker rooms, which you always follow him, and where he then will beautifully rearrange your guts.

Truthfully you’re not sure how this happened, how you managed to get Ushijima on top of, slash underneath, you at least once a week for the past three months. You guys never talked much before, there was a mutual captain’s respect between the two of you but other than that he didn’t have much to say. Not like you have much to say either, you guys don’t ever talk unless you count screaming out his name or cursing in pleasure.

However the more you involve yourself with Ushijima the less you understand why everyone likes him. To put it plainly, he’s a volleyball player and nothing more. At least that's what you thought before you started watching him. Subconsciously staring at him in the halls or when you pass by his classroom, you even found yourself going to his games.

You like Ushijiima, have a big fat crush on him and there is nothing you can do about it.

It does make you feel better knowing that you make him as weak as he makes you. When his head rests on the top of yours and his breaths become staggered as he pounds into you against the lockers, you feel like the most powerful girl in the world.

- - -

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)! I’m so excited for your game tonight, I’m looking forward to it!” A bright first year jumps in front of you and you have to refrain from flinching at the suddenness.

“Oh really? I’m glad you’ll be there.” You smile sweetly at him and his entire face tints red, his friend’s looking shocked at the interaction. 

This wasn’t something new, random students always come up to you wide-eyed and captivated by the sight of you. It makes sense, not only are you a skilled and valuable player but also, you’re the captain of the girl’s volleyball team. Ushijima also gets the praise and attention but you try to shake away the thought of him. He has been consuming your thoughts too often lately.

“Oi leave her alone, go back to class.” Another voice shoos them away and you have to refrain from rolling your eyes at the soccer captain behind you. “(Y/N).” Kou winks as he appears in front of you and you bite the inside of your cheek to not smile.

“Kou, what’s up?” You ask and he leans against the wall, very close to you.

“Not much, sorry I can’t come to your game today babe I have practice.” His breath tickles your cheek and you laugh while pressing your palms to his chest to create some distance.

“I never asked or expected you to come.” Quickly you dodge his arms and walk around him, heading back towards your own class.

“That’s real cold (Y/N).” His playful voice calls out behind you and you throw him off dismissively with the flick of your hand. “I’ll be at the next one.”

“Mmm okay.” You glance back at him and wave before looking into the classroom you were just in front of. You instantly meet way too familiar olive eyes and stiffen under Ushijima’s gaze. Nothing about him looks different, but any time you look at him, a shiver runs up your spine. You send him a subtle nod before looking away and walking back to your own classroom.

The game that night was a quick one, you and your team won both sets back to back against Karasuno. 

After the game ends there are tons of people waiting to talk to you, you spend time with your friends while accepting gifts from other students. Doing your best to give everyone the same amount of kindness and attention.

“You did so well (Y/N)!”

“That’s why we keep winning because we have a captain like you!”

“She’s like the female Ushijima.”

People keep complimenting you, and you let out a shaky laugh at the last one.

“Nah, her and Ushiwaka are two different people.” A familiar voice calls out and you turn around to see Kou. You ignore the knowing looks from your friends and you raise an eyebrow towards him. 

“You came?” You can’t help the confusion on your face and he looks offended.

“I’d never miss a game,” He confirms and you laugh, crossing your arms over your chest. “on purpose.”

“Well thank you for coming.” You smile and the dark-haired boy glances at someone behind you before grabbing your wrist and pulling you outside the gym. “Kou?”

“I know you’re fucking Ushiwaka.” He spills, seeming to very entertained and his tone is not in the least bit accusatory. You would smack the smug look off his face if you weren’t so caught off guard. “Or he likes you, I’m not sure which one.” Kou thinks about it for a second and then gasps when you stare at him with your mouth wide open.

“W-what are you talking about?” You sputter and put your hands up defensively in front of you.

“(Y/N), how long have we been friends? Besides, in there, he looked like he was going to use my head like a fucking volleyball.” He points back into the gym and you can only stare at him silently. “I approve, definitely, I mean he’s cool in like a quiet way.”

“Fuck off, I’m going back into the gym.” You scoff, very, very embarrassed and Kou throws his hand against his chest dramatically.

“Wrap it before you tap it, babe!”

Leave it to Kou to find out before any of your friends, his observation skills are insane. A good reason why he is such a talented soccer player, you try to ignore the words of your close friend as you head back into the gym dejectedly. It’s nearly empty, thankfully. Only a few players and people left,  and much to your surprise some of the boy’s team are still there.

“Captain you did amazing as always!” Goshiki says when you walk by and you want to ruffle his little bowl cut.

“Thank you Goshiki, did you guys see the entire game?” You ask and glance at Ushijima who is standing behind his teammates, next to Tendou.

“We just finished practice!” The first-year reports.

“Oh you guys didn’t miss much, it was pretty one-sided.”

You never expect much from Ushijima, but you find yourself frowning when you continue to talk to the rest of his teammates and he doesn’t even spare a glance at you.

- - -

Of course, when you get the very subtle ‘come over’ text at eleven o’clock at night you calmly got out of bed. Then your mind starts running everywhere at the thought of getting fucked into tomorrow by Ushijima and you start to panic. Instantly running to the mirror to check how you looked before ultimately giving up and putting on your shoes, quickly walking out into the hallway.

 Its just Ushijima. Its just Ushijima. Oh my god, its Ushijima. 

And with that, you run back into your room and try to make yourself look as pleasant as possible in under a minute before running back out into the hallway. You can only smile when your neighbor opens her door to ask if you were alright. 

Let’s be real, you’re not.

By the time you manage to sneak to his dorm, you're practically breathless. Ushijima isn’t even in your presence, him in your thoughts simply made you so weak, it’s not fair. However, when he opens the door and pulls you in, closing the door and pushing you against it just as quickly as he opened it, you think you’re not the only one affected.

“U-Ushijima?” You watch him carefully, feeling his hands grip your hips, his eyes run all over you face before he presses his lips to yours. It’s not too long until his chest is flush against yours, his hips rocking against your own.

Your hands are buried in Ushijima’s hair as he grinds into you, the feeling of his jeans hitting your clit makes you release a breathy moan and you tilt your head back against the door. He takes this advantage to suck deep bruises into your neck and you whimper at the sensation.

Much too soon, pulls away to drag you over to his bed. He lays down first and pulls you down on top of him, his lips connecting back to yours like they were never even separated. You moan appreciatively against his lips, whining when his tongue runs along your bottom lip. You cup his jaw, trying to pour all of your hidden affections into each kiss. Ushijima just winds you up, something about him lately has you so consumed with him, he’s all you can think about.

When he finally pulls away a string of spit connects your two lips together, reminding you how painful close to two of you are to one another. Ushijima breaks it though, he moves like a man with a purpose as he kisses down your neck, leaving even more obvious marks to litter your skin. The feeling of his mouth on you, his tongue lapping at any area he can reach makes you feel so hot. You grind your center against him and the feeling of his hard cock teasing your slit makes you feel light-headed.

However, something is off.

His lips reach every spot he can reach and when you start to pull away, the hands on your hips bring you back to him. Firmly you plant your hands on his chest and look down at him, his pupils are blown out and he is looking at you in a way you’ve never noticed before.

“I, umm, is everything okay?” You feel stupid for asking but the nagging feeling in your gut is telling you otherwise. “You seem upset?”Ushijima contemplates his next words, he can see how your eyes are trying so hard to stay connected to his own but they keep running astray. He gently squeezes your hips again.

“You can tell just by the way I was kissing you?” His eyes dart down to your neck and you shrug. “I realized that seeing you with other people does not feel right.” His words make your heart clench and you stare at him, painfully waiting for his next words. “I like you.” His confession comes quick and you stare down at him bewildered.

“Huh, me?!” You can’t help but point to yourself and Ushijima holds the stare, under your palms you can feel his heart beating in his chest. You catch him off guard and you press your lips to his own, running your hands through his soft hair.

“I like you too.” You mumble against his lips, you feel so shy in front of him and you end up hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“Would you like to go out with me?” His actions are so bold and you have to refrain from letting out an excited squeal.

“Right now?” You ask, sitting back up on top of him.

“If you’d like.” Ushijima doesn’t seem phased that you’re literally bouncing on him in excitement, he’s ready to take the blue balls if that meant he got to have you finally to himself. To be able to show you his true feelings, the ones he has kept balled up inside for so long.

“How about after this?” You lean back down and nip at his jaw, dragging your ass sinfully against his clothed member.

“Anything you would like (Y/N).” There are a few moments of silence and you are almost certain you just imagined the entire scene in your head. However, when you feel his hands caressing your sides and squeezing your hips again, you’re brought back to the moment. You throw your shirt over your head messily, ready to take Ushijima as your own in a way you haven’t done before.

It’s almost like a reflex, the moment your bare chest flashes him, Ushijima brings his mouth to the swell of your breast. Mouthing at each one before pressing pecks on every inch of your soft mounds.

You can’t help the loud moan that explodes from your lips when he licks your nipple, long strokes, aching for the nub to harden before taking it into his mouth. His mouth is sinful, Ushijima Wakatoshi is a master with his mouth and he lives to taste you. He suckles and teases you with his teeth before soothing the pain with his tongue, over and over again. Your hand finds a permanent home in his hair and you have to physically pull him off of your chest. There’s something about the way Ushijima’s eyes shine when he looks up at you, he looks so delighted simply at the mere sight of you.

“Please Wakatoshi, fuck me.” You whine and feel him tense underneath you. You’ve never said his name like that, or ever before, and hearing it for the first time in such a crude way makes something inside of him snap.

It’s a blur when he flips you, you’re resting on the bed with him on top of you, you can barely follow any of his movements but the feeling of his fingers running along your slit. Your eyes flicker from his face down to his arms, watching the way his arm tightens as he starts to finger you. His biceps flex with each movement and you cry out when his thumb comes up to circle your clit.

“W-wait, inside of me, I need you inside of me!” You think your voice sounds pathetic but to Ushijima, he is enthralled with everything about you.

It’s painful, the way he sucks on his fingers after he pulls them out of you, the way you can hear the low moans as he swallows the taste of you. You can only watch as he pulls his shorts down and wraps his fist around his large cock, giving himself a few jerks. Any time you reach out to grab him he simply pushes your hand away. Even the way he slips on a condom is so seductive, it isn’t fair.

His large hand gently wraps around your inner thigh, lifting your leg up to push himself deep inside of you. It’s so slow, he is moving so slowly that you can feel every ridge, every vein that adorns his cock. Ushijima loves to take his time with you.

When his hips are pressed against yours and you can feel his hair tickling your clit, only then does he give a few experimental thrusts. Living for your reaction, how your face scrunches up at the build-up of pleasure, seeing how everything makes you feel so damn good. Then he starts to set a pace, one that is usually gentle and caring is now rougher and more protective. As if he is making sure your body will remember his, remember the feeling of him deep inside you like this, how his hands feel holding you still while you wither against the sheets.

“Wakatoshi, you make me feel so good.” The whimper of praise is rewarded with a kiss, the ace is just unable to stop his affections from pouring out of every movement he makes. Ushijima feels the way you start to clench around him, how you grip him so tightly like you don’t want him to leave, like you’re trying to milk him for everything he’s got.

You practically melt when you hear the grunts slipping past his lips, any of the noises he is trying so hard to hold back.

“Let me hear you Wakatoshi, please, let me hear you.” You continue to beg and your hand shakes under the strength of his thrusts as you reach up to cup his jaw. One of his hands snakes down and begins to rub your clit, the newfound pleasure hits you in waves, its almost painful. His thick digits rub and roll the sensitive little nub and you cry out when you hear his breathing stagger. Ushijima’s groans become more noticeable and moans slip past his lips giving you the perfect push off the edge. The hand cupping his jaw grabs the back of his neck and pulls him into a hot kiss, one where you’re crying his name while his tongue intertwines with your own.

He fucks you through your orgasm just as he is trying to find his own, it doesn’t take much though. One look at you and the filthy words you’re spewing is enough to make him finish in an instant.

“Cum Wakatoshi, c-cum for me~” You hiccup as his hips continue to relentless pound into you and when you hear the all too familiar groan you know he has come undone. His voice is so low, it bounces off the walls, and as his hips stutter you can feel yourself spasming all over his cock once again.

“You, you just came again?” Ushijima points out, his chest heaving up and down along with your own. You have him winded better than any other workout.

You can only whimper in response, too far gone to focus on anything else. How do you tell him that you want to fuck him again? Silently you ponder over this, closing your eyes and smiling when you feel light kisses placed on your eyelids.

“I really do like you, Wakatoshi.” You finally open your eyes to look at him, a smile creeping on your face when you see the surprise in his eyes.

“You do?” His tone is teasing and you’ve never heard anything like it when he chuckles against your neck, the laughter resonating deep in his chest.

“Very much.” You nervously look down at your fingers, unable to handle his intense gaze. “And you like me too?” Your heart pounds in your chest and you really just need him to confirm it once more.

“Since the day I met you.” Ushijima presses his lips against your ear and you gasp in realization.

“At the summer training camp in 9th grade?!” You surprised you can remember and Ushijima only nods his head. “Ahh, you’re so cute Wakatoshi!” You finally squeal and wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer to you, cuddling into his chest.

“I still can’t believe Kou knew about this.” You mumble under your breath and Ushijima looks at you with a spark of irritation in his eye. You bring your hands up and push his cheeks together, watching his lips pucker before you kiss him again. “My friend, he approves.” Ushijima can only blink and you laugh again before rolling over to let Ushijima fall beside you.

As soon as his back makes contact with the mattress you curl up into him again, sighing in content when his arms wrap around your waist. 

“We should have done this forever ago, having sex against a locker was not it.” You complain playfully and start to draw shapes all over Ushijima’s large chest.

“I’d fuck you against ever locker if that meant I got to be with you.”

“You weren’t the one being pressed up against the locker so yeah, obviously you would!” You laugh and lightly slap his arm, Ushijima can only watch you. The fondest smile on his face.

Who knew you’d find a soulmate like this?

#ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima x reader #haikyuu ushijima #ushijima smut #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you

[grapefruitsketches]

Silly Dreams, Barred Teeth

For fytheuntamed’s Untamed Fall Fest 2020 Day 27: Fright

Rated T, Words. References to CQL only scene, Wangxian, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, post-canon 

Also available on AO3

Wei Wuxian awoke in a cold sweat. Eyes shot open and he stared into the dark, only the faint light of the moon reminding him where he was. But that didn’t change when he’d been, mere seconds ago.

A stifled groan next to him, a voice husky with sleep, “Wei Ying?”

Oh. He supposed he was shaking. He shifted away from his slowly waking husband, chuckling apologetically, “Ah, Lan Zhan, go back to sleep. Just kicked the blankets off, got a little cold is all.”

He didn’t move, pretending he was going back to sleep himself. But instead of a quiet hum, maybe a slight shift in position, and an easy return to his previous stillness, he heard Lan Zhan sleepily but purposefully sat up.

“Wei Ying, look at me,” Lan Zhan said.

Wei Wuxian sighed, then complied, turning over to face him.

Lan Zhan’s slight frown. The crease between his brow. The way his eyes hung heavy with sleep but sharp as they examined his husband’s face in return. Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but let his expression soften, a gentle smile replacing his nervous grin.

But as the tension eased, he also couldn’t stop the pricks of tears rising to his eyes. He only hoped it was too dark for Lan Zhan to notice.

“I’m fine, Lan Zhan. Really,” he whispered, his earlier laughter echoing in his ears, reverberating against the near silence. He leaned in close, closing his eyes and nuzzling back into his husband’s chest. He knew too well that he could only feign sleep right now given how fast his heart still raced, but maybe Lan Zhan could at least get his rest.

“Another dream?” Lan Zhan asked softly, not even acknowledging Wei Wuxian’s obvious lie. He draped an arm around Wei Wuxian and pulled him closer.

“Yeah,” Wuxian let out a huff of laughter, “Just another dream...” his grip on his husband tightened involuntarily.

“Tell me about it.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whined, cracking his eyes open to better pout at his husband, “You don’t want to hear about boring things like my dreams now do you?” His voice had a teasing edge to it, but not the intended effect. Lan Zhan flinched, closing his eyes to the word “boring.”

“Things that trouble you are never too boring,” he said, earnest. Stubborn.

Wei Wuxian let out a breath and pushed himself up, leaning against the headboard, “No. Really Lan Zhan, it was nothing. I’m sorry I woke you.”

Those words were met only with a long, patient, but unwavering stare.

The stalemate lasted what felt like minutes, but was truthfully likely only moments before Wei Wuxian broke, “Fine, fine. If you need to hear all the embarrassing things that keep your poor husband up at night…”

“If it would help you to tell me, I want to hear it,” Lan Zhan said, voice steady and calming, like the lakes Wei Wuxian had grown up on, “You wouldn’t be telling me for me. You would be telling me for you.”

A part of him – the old part of him, the part of him trained to be everything, but to expect nothing – wanted to laugh, to tease Lan Zhan for being so serious about something as trivial as a dream.

But he had grown past the need for such a mask, particularly around Lan Zhan. That old part of him was no longer in control. Lan Zhan had seen, accepted, and loved everything behind it. And a larger part of him wanted him – wanted someone – to finally know. His voice took on a mumble as he averted his gaze, the old part of him still carrying a bit of power, “It was that dog.”

To his credit, Lan Zhan didn’t so much as blink in surprise, only murmuring, “Which dog?”

“It’s… it’s…  like I said it’s silly,” at the admonishing look from Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian sighed, “Fine, not silly, just… I don’t know, of all the things I could have dreamed about, this one shouldn’t have bothered me.”

A longer stare, a tiny encouraging nod, from Lan Zhan. Not interrupting, not commenting, only acknowledging.

“It was…” Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes, trying to remember that time all those years ago, “Did I ever tell you where I was taken after our – ah – gardening expedition in Qishan?”

Lan Zhan shook his head, stiffening at the reminder of the Wen indoctrination, all those years ago. He said nothing, but Wei Wuxian leaned into his touch as Lan Zhan began carding his fingers through Wei Wuxian’s hair.

“Ah… well… see, Wen Chao had this… this dog…”

By the end of the story, Wei Wuxian appreciated just how much Lan Zhan was trying to maintain a calm demeanour, but still, he looked just about ready to try and revive Wen Chao himself just to kill him again, perhaps more brutally this time. Wei Wuxian, meanwhile, was trying his best to keep the tone light, the problem simple, but the memories… the dream…

That lunge... right at the end... teeth... chasing... closing the gap.

He shook his head, “Anyway,” he smiled, gaze fixed not on Lan Zhan’s face, but his shoulder, “It’s all over now, right?” he yawned, stretching his arms theatrically, “Maybe now that I’ve told you, I can finally put it in the past and–”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan cut him off abruptly, gently tipping Wei Wuxian’s head back by the chin, lowering his own head bringing their eyes in line with one another, “That never should have happened.”

“Aha, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian gulped, even now reddening at this kind of proximity with his soulmate, “You remember how I was. A night in a dungeon is the least I de–“

“No. You did nothing to deserve any harm. No one does, least of all you.” The tone was firm. Affectionate, but adamant.

“Lan Zhan, I–“ He had carried that memory through two lifetimes. Told himself he shouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. Hid it. Told no one.  Had been ashamed at how ludicrous his paralyzing fear had been. How he, one of the top ranked youths in the cultivation world, who would face worse even before he left Qishan, had cowered at the beast, still had nightmares of it, just because it was a dog.

Lan Zhan shook his head, continuing, “You were afraid. That wasn’t wrong to feel. The only wrong was that you were there in the first place. Do you understand?”

Wei Wuxian nodded quietly, letting the words sink in, the cool stream of acceptance flowing through him, relieving points of tension he hadn’t known he’d been holding so long.

“You will tell me next time you feel afraid, no matter what the cause? Let me help you?”

And Wei Wuxian’s face finally cracked into a warm, genuine smile. He nodded, leaning back into Lan Zhan’s chest, “Mmhm… I will,” he paused, then sat back up, “On one condition,” he said, suddenly stern, though with a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

Lan Zhan frowned, “What condition?”

Wei Wuxian smiled, “You’ll tell me if you’re afraid, no matter what. You’ll let me help you too?”

Lan Zhan blinked. Once, twice, then a soft smile grew on his face as well.

“I will.”

#untamed fall fest #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #cql #the untamed #my writing

[hwallout]

our little secret - csy (iv)

summary: as a CEO of one of the country’s most powerful companies, you had your secrets to success. no one ever gained power without ruthless, filthy and unfair play, it’s all okay if no one knows right? well, what happens when your little secrets fall into the hands of someone you can’t get rid of that easily?

words: 7,1k

genre: angst, drama, some fluff if you squint

warnings: language

early an: honestly,,, is this worth continuing?

first part

second part

third part

The remark had different meanings for the both of you. Seungyoun was speaking his thoughts, but not exactly clear enough to be understood immediately. There was a hidden message behind the strong wall of his words, but the heir wouldn’t allow it to be known before the time’s right.

You looked at him with attentive eyes, pupils slightly dilated due to the sudden change of light. The moon carefully caressed Seungyoun’s features, making his skin glow bright. It seemed as if the heir wanted you to interrogate further, and with the curiosity that tickled your mind, it was only natural to do so. For whatever reason, the tiny voice whispered that it might just be what you were expecting all along - the door through which one would be able to regain control.

“What do you mean?”

“The drinking. I’m not an alcoholic, yet look at me” Seungyoun blurted out. There was a quiet but audible laugh coming from his end, which contrasted your sudden disappointed expression. Little did you know that Seungyoun wasn’t laughing because he was amused. The male was in disbelief, because even in such a state, he managed to hold his ground and lie.

The heir poured himself another glass of wine, the big black bottle now empty. He reached underneath the table and pulled out two things – another smaller bottle and one more transparent glass. Once opened, the aroma from inside of the bottle entered your nostrils almost immediately. It was strong and alluring, just tempting to reach for and taste. Seungyoun filled your glass and stood up, grabbing the other bottle by the neck and walking inside to throw it away.

The song playing changed but a new melody followed the same feeling. Calm and slow notes only immersed you more in the view, a rustling city that seemed so little and easy to crush from this high up.

Once Seungyoun came out, there was a little bluetooth speaker in one of his hands, while the other held his phone. A sincere smile caused by emotion one could only be able to describe as pride, was a rare sight on his features. The man sat down and sighed out loud after placing the two objects on the table.

“You know, this isn’t exactly where I saw myself a couple of years ago. Simply said, I still can’t see myself in a position of a future CEO”

This time though, as if some drastic change happened, Seungyoun approached his thoughts from a different angle. The tone used was unlike any other you’ve heard before. It wasn’t stern or emotionless, no, on the contrary, it was full of a certain something. You took a sip of the dark liquid, shivering at the taste.

“I always wanted to do music” He mentioned and you nodded along, already familiar with the fact. It wasn’t rare that the media pulled out that card when speaking about the heir. Blamed for being uninterested in business or praised that he’s doing well despite wanting to pursue a music career. Sometimes the only emotion one could feel while reading those was pure pity for the man. Could he really not do what he loved?

The melody changed pace. Your body unconsciously swayed back and forth, carried by the rhythm. The piece was so beautiful that it caused sadness, for you’ve been missing out on it for so long. Every beat was hitting just the right places in one’s mind and heart, awakening a thousand other feelings as it progressed. Unintentionally, your eyes closed and you relaxed back into the seat.

Soon, a soft voice accompanied the melody, and with careful, beautful words, only made the song better. The male singing had a mesmerizing voice, hushed and breathy to fit the current rhythm. Visible goosebumps formed on your arms, a smile sneaking up to beautify your facial features.  

Then, out of nowhere, that exact voice - just a little bit louder - sounded only a meter away.

It didn’t take long to catch up on the fact that Seungyoun was singing along. What took a moment to process was that Seungyoun’s voice matched the one in the song. Every single note, pitch, whisper was the exact same. Shivers ran down your spine in realization, but you didn’t dare interrupt the showcase just yet.

Once the last few beats faded away, the male turned around and locked eyes with yours, a huge smile on his lips, pearly white teeth bidding their hello. His happy expression contrasted yours, which was one of pure surprise.

“I made that” Seungyoun whispered. Short silence enrolled right after, but it wasn’t anywhere near uncomfortable. It was just a moment you dared take to properly swallow down the information that Seungyoun was actually seriously working on his music. A certain feeling welled up in your chest, caused by pure admiration for the man who still pursued his dreams, despite everything else.

“That was... pretty good if I’m being honest, Seungyoun. Good job” You replied, praising the other for the first time. The male looked at you staggered, as if the compliment was something much more serious, and maybe, for him, it was.

Without any more words exchanged, you stood up, taking hold of your glass and walking towards the railing. Leaning against the handrail, you continued staring into the distance, still mesmerized by the overall view. Silence once again filled up with a calm melody, you heard Seungyoun shuffle in his seat, before standing up to approach you. Taking a generous sip of the strong beverage, you felt another shiver overtake the body. The drink was something you’ve never tasted before, for it had a pretty strange, sour, yet addicting taste.

“You know...my father and I... I was always a disappointment for him” The heir spoke with a calm and collected words, which was somewhat surprising due to the amount of alcohol he consumed. Seungyoun didn’t look at you, but he was well aware that his every word was being listened to.  

“I was the creative kid, with a great voice and feeling for composition. I’ve never really been interested in what my dad was calculating or making business calls for late in the night. It never appealed to me”

You listened, although not exactly interested in the topic. Truthfully, you paid attention not to be rude more than anything else. In the end, the man was speaking about an emotional and serious experience for him, so really the least one could do was listen. Taking another sip, you looked at the other, noticing the little frown on his lips.

“When I wrote my first song and presented it to my parents, it’s an understatement to say they weren’t pleased. My mother had to shield me from his harsh words of discouragement. I still remember every single thing he has said” Seungyoun’s voice broke at one point, but he tried to cover it up with a forced cough. The heir was a decent businessman, but actor? Not so much.  

“You can imagine how a kid with broken dreams feels like” At that, Seungyoun broke a smile. A pitiful, weak smile, that still held that certain, hidden emotion behind it.

“I’ve built this empire, expecting it to grow stronger in the future. I didn’t throw away my whole youth to not have a responsible heir take after me! I’m not going to accept my son screech into the microphone when he can rule the world!”

Seungyoun’s words suddenly seemed to hit a certain spot inside of your heart. Gulping down what was left in the transparent glass, you went to pour some more before returning. The little ‘break’ allowed you to take a few deep breaths and calm down the heart that was unreasonably getting sad and empathic. It took Seungyoun a few seconds to continue with his talk, the man playing insecurity about continuing further which you dismissed with a soft hand gesture.

“Over time, you learn to be silent and take it. There’s no other way, really. You’re obliged to follow up and continue what someone else has started in such a situation. But... it hurts more when you’re guilt tripped into it as a child”

Another long moment of silence enrolled. The chill wind grew stronger, caressing the warm surface of your skin in a hurried manner. The alcohol flowed freely through your bloodstream, already having a strong effect on the heartbeat that quickened and mind that opened. You’ve never been someone who can handle a lot of alcohol well, but still far away from a lightweight. Often, you’d drink just enough to feel just a little carefree, but that line seemed to have been passed long ago. Surprisingly, it took two glasses. Who knows what kind of wine Seungyoun had at home.

A feeling of guilt bid its hello. Suddenly, the weight of words became far too important and noticeable. You remembered the times you’ve intentionally tried shaming the man in front of his father, not aware of the consequences they had. One voice whispered that those were asshole moves, something you should be apologizing for, while the other yelled that you shouldn’t be backing down and caring so much. The mind was walking a path that branched into two and it had no idea which one to take.  

The one that whispered appeared close and intimate, speaking slowly, softly, yet louder as you took another sip. The second voice seemed more distant as time went by, it yelled and tried to warn of the possible consequences, but it was so, so far away.

“I... I’m sorry...” You muttered quietly, unsure if the words should reach the heir’s ears. Unfortunately, they did, for Seungyoun turned to face you with one eyebrow lifted and a smirk on his lips. There it was, the true emotion surfacing. You could’ve left it at that, but without much reason, decided to continue.

“I must’ve affected and fueled the fire with my words in the past... I’m... I’m really sorry, Seungyoun” Your free hand moved and took a hold of his, feeling the contrast in temperatures between the two bodies. Seungyoun’s look turned more curious, but only to hide the sly one hiding behind. Despite it all, his chest squeezed tight, the space inside becoming way too small for the erratic heart. It encouraged the man to act up on the emotions he’s trying to dismiss and replace with something fake.  

Seungyoun finally found the hole that allowed entrance to the space of your mind and heart, yet restrained himself from acting on it. So far, the heir was managing just fine, finding out what were the exact weaknesses of your being, and using them properly against you. Manipulation – his face contorted in disgust at the word.

Of course, there was that voice that yelled at him for playing the game in such a way. Just your tentative hand on his forced the heir into rethinking all of the planned steps. You weren’t supposed to give in so quickly, to show the hidden, caring fragments of personality he never saw. Seungyoun suddenly felt guilty, although he tried fighting it off. The immediate battle inside of his mind, housed two worlds that clashed against each other. It was either he stuck to the plan until the end, or let fate do its job. It was either he won the game immorally, or accepted the guilt and opted not to ruin the life of someone he cared for. Success or possible elimination.

Sighing out loud, Seungyoun threw the dice and let them fall however.

“It’s okay. I’ve gotten used to it” That was such an asshole reply, and the male was aware of it. This way, he indirectly confirmed that you did have an impact, causing your heart to ache.  

Seungyoun both did and didn’t deserve this. There were many reasons that stood behind both of those statements. He was the one who approached the whole thing incorrectly, and although blindly, added yet another problem to his plate. On the other hand, Seungyoun had a proper and overall pure cause for his initial actions. The son only wanted what he thought was the best for his father, something that would finally get him the smallest bit of appreciation from the older.

After all, Seungyoun never once used the knowledge to his advantage. One call, click, or talk would do so, so much irreversible damage and it was that easy. You always jumped over it so carelessly, thinking that Seungyoun wasn’t dumb enough to ignore your threats and put his own head on the gambling table.  

But that simply wasn’t the case. Seungyoun has been putting something else on the table, something that made him look like an even bigger fool. The heir wasn’t scared of your threats and power, for he knew you just couldn’t put a bullet through his head no matter what.

The worst thing was, that you were aware of it too. You were aware of just how strong Seungyoun’s check mate was.  But it was your pride and ego that always tried pushing those thoughts somewhere far, far back, or under the mat.

The alcohol once again did its thing, blurring your thoughts and causing yet another unnecessary question to spill out. At this rate, who knows what kind of trouble you’ll get yourself into tonight...

“Don’t use my question as encouragement but...” The words were quiet once again, but the eyes that looked into Seungyoun’s were far stronger than before. Your irises focused on his, as if searching for something that would wake you up from the current state of mind.

“Why aren’t you using what you have against me?”  

“Why would I?”

Seungyoun’s reply was met with hush and a dumbfounded expression from his partner. Why, he asked? The man had the power to end the whole INVICTA empire, the power to prove the elder that his son was no little kitten. Yet... why?

You remained silent, afraid of giving away any ideas. But there was no need.

“Do you not realize my goal is not destroying your company?” The tone Seungyoun used to say those words appeared a bit too harsh. Visibly taken aback, you took a step away from the other, a breath you weren’t even aware of holding in, coming out in a form of sigh.  

“My goal is gaining my father’s trust. Everything else is just a part of the plan that will help me accomplish it” His face was surprisingly emotionless while speaking. The words seemed to have an effect on the organ inside of your chest, for it squeezed tight once before letting go. The revelation of being used was never a pleasant feeling, but you swallowed it down shamefully, tasting its bitterness.

Seungyoun turned around, facing the city and away from you. This were the facts and his selfish nature that occasionally surfaced as a defense mechanism. He didn’t want you to know the proper, complete truth, and decided to choose the rougher path to walk on. The not so irrational fear of losing you so quickly was too strong.

Maybe it was the better for you to know partial truth, which in most cases was better than none. Or, may haps it wasn’t, because from now on, there will always be that heavy feeling of being used hanging just above your head.

“I’m sorry that you were the one who got tangled into all of this, though”

The atmosphere was quiet for a little while. Both took time to take in the situation. With gazes trained far away, the two souls got lost in imaginary world. Chilly wind continued caressing the hot skin of your face, a light reminder of the present, but not strong enough of a sensation to begin sobering you up. That exact breeze messed Seungyoun’s hair up, strands flying in all directions, making him seem a little more boyish than usual.

The man wasn’t physically holding you back. He never did. You were allowed a chance to go home, rethink the whole deal over, change the gaming plan. Yet, for the first time ever, there were invisible chains pulling your legs down, making them too heavy to move. You couldn’t step away, and the other was well aware of that.

“If only you knew how delighted my father was when the news of us came out. He was so happy to see that his passive son found someone who’d maybe pique his interest for business” Seungyoun laughed pitifully and spoke with a voice that was much quieter than before. He resumed staring at the disappearing car lights in the distance.  

His words once again hit the soft spot. They had you thinking about your own parents, with a heavy heart. Losing both parents was the worst trauma you ever had the chance of experiencing; but even with that behind you, it wasn’t possible to imagine the pain of losing their support. Being distant emotionally with someone so close was on another level.

Seungyoun, intentionally or not, was playing all the right cards to awaken the emotional and trusting person that you tried so hard to hide. Especially in front of him.

This was the first time the two of you had a serious conversation about personal topics, which was a surprisingly pleasant change. It allowed you to get more comfortable and intimate with the other.  

On top of everything else, looking at the heir was a different sensation tonight. The stray strands that flowed freely through the breeze, occasionally covering his dark eyes. His skin glowed under the moonlight, the straight nose bridge emphasizing his beautiful side profile. And the soft, rosy lips that were just slightly parted, calling out to have a finger caressing over them.  

As if the desire you’ve been hiding for a while decided to come out and play with your already fragile mind. It suddenly fought all the pitiful emotions felt before, giving you all the different new ideas you’d usually be vary of.

It was the alcohol. The unknown, dark liquid that tasted better with each sip that made you feel such ways. With feelings all over the place when drunk, you were prone to sudden and drastic changes of mind. But even the tiniest pieces of sober mind weren’t making an effort at preventing your actions this time.

“Take a picture, it will last longer”

“I’d rather enjoy it live, thanks”  

Seungyoun’s cheeks rose higher, lips lifting upwards as a flustered giggle escaped through them. His hand came up over his mouth, trying to hide the smile that was too hard to control. After a few seconds, the heir glanced at you, noticing the hazy look in your eyes. Slowly, but surely, your body slowly rocked back and forth, as if carried by the wind.  

At one point, it looked as if you were going to stumble back, but Seungyoun was quick to step closer and prevent it from happening. A wide grin spread over your soft features upon feeling strong hands on your waist. The dilated irises only now proved your drunken state, as if the alcohol only now intensified its effect.

“Seungyoun?” You whispered, the grin never once disappearing. The heir hummed along, never once weakening his hold. A free point finger traced unknown patterns on his chest, the sensation slightly ticklish for the other.

“What if I... willingly helped you with the plan...” Seungyoun’s eyes widened at that, head moving backwards for an inch. It was impossible to believe that those words left your lips and entered his ears properly. The finger moved upwards, tracing a line over the male’s exposed collarbones, your gaze never once decreasing its strength. Even in such a state, you had Seungyoun on his toes.

“But!” Of course, there was a condition.  

“You have to... get rid of all the evidence you have against... me. No bullshit because I will find you out”  

At such a proposition, the male didn’t need a minute to think of an answer. Immediately, he let go of your waist, extending an arm with a smile.

“Deal” Seungyoun replied, watching the way your gaze fell to look at his hand, before they travelled back up with a mischievous grin. In a blink of an eye, your bodies were pressed against each other, fingers gripping the neckline of his loose t-shirt, pulling down lightly.  

“I’ll rather sign this way” Closing in the last piece of distance, your lips pressed against his in a hurried manner. Seungyoun was quick to reply, fingers once again positioned on your waist, trying to pull the two bodies even closer. Eventually, with one hand situated just behind your neck, the heir controlled the kiss and allowed it to grow more heated as time ran by.

Seconds turned into minutes, kisses into bites, sighs into moans. Seungyoun carried you back inside, opening unknown door and entering what you supposed was his bedroom. The man sat on the bed with you now placed on his lap, hands wandering beneath the thin shirt and over his back.  

Hungrily, Seungyoun’s lips trailed down, leaving light kisses on your jaw, before moving to the sensitive skin of your neck. Moving around, you allowed more space for the sinful bites, that the heir left behind with each kiss.  

Eventually, your fingers threaded through his thick strands, pulling with the slightest bit of force, just to have Seungyoun crane his neck back. He looked at you with hooded eyes, lips curving into a wicked smile, a silent laugh escaping through. Diving down, you excitedly began returning similar marks on his neck, listening to the most beautiful sighs and sounds that the man produced.

All while, your hips dragged down over his, but neither made an effort to take everything just a step further. Shirts were thrown down on the ground, but nothing more. It was the mutual understanding that although the moment was heated and tense, both parties were drunk, mind clouded and driven by more factors than just lust for each other.  

Therefore, the night continued with the same feeling. The only sound inside of the room were lips smacking against each other, sighs and occasional, slipup moans.

The morning brought a slight headache with itself. It was kind of unusual, for you appeared to have a mild hangover because of just two glasses. Truthfully, who knew what it exactly was that Seungyoun offered last night – probably something with a high alcohol percentage.

Your eyes opened a few seconds later, studying the small view of the dimmed room. The surface your head was pressed against was much firmer than a pillow, and it moved. Needless to say, it took a confused moment to process that you were laying down on the heir, who was still deep asleep.

Raising your head as high as possible, you studied the male. His face looked puffy, lips pouting slightly and eyelashes falling beautifully over his soft cheeks. Seungyoun’s hair was disheveled and sticking in many directions, alluring calling for a hand to run through and fix it.  

He looked like a sleeping beauty.

As your eyes travelled down, towards the man’s exposed neck and chest, you found a few deep purple marks. With eyes shut and brows furrowed, you sighed out loud, remembering the whole timeline of last night’s events. There was no doubt that similar purple rings would appear on your own skin too; a low curse perishing into thin air.

The plan on how to stand up without waking Seungyoun up demanded a few minutes of thinking. In the end, you decided on moving as slowly and lightly as possible, freezing up the moment the other moved.  

It took about ten minutes to execute, but in the end you managed. Once on the other, free side of the bed, you rolled down in an ungraceful manner with a slight thump. Laughing quietly, you stood up and looked around the room. It was huge, with similar aesthetics to the rest of the apartment. The curtains allowed only the slightest bits of light inside, making the space look incredibly dim, but light enough to see and navigate through properly.  

Although usually clean, the floor was now a mess thanks to your clothes. Despite remembering not doing anything too scandalous with the male, you looked down in panic. Thankfully, your body was covered up with an oversized shirt. Upon investigating what’s under, you noticed that fortunately, the underwear was still there, in its place.  

Opening the door of the bedroom, you clumsily navigated towards the bathroom. Locking the door behind, you stepped inside the shower, opting to take a refreshing shower. Cold water felt arousing to the hot skin, body moving in different directions to seek more feeling. The sensation elicited a soft moan and you froze, hand coming up to prevent any more sounds from escaping. You supposed the towel from the bunch of neatly folded ones in the cupboard were clean, so that’s what you used to dry off.

There was a big mirror above the sink, showcasing just what type of mess you currently were. Although clean, your hair needed good grooming, which you solved easily using a small black comb placed right beside the sink. Next, and also big reason for worry, were the expected purple marks. Fortunately, none were too high up, most of them decorating your collarbones and lower neck. Unfortunately, there was nothing but clothes you could hide them with for now. That was a job for later.

Without a toothbrush, you chose to take a little bit of the Seungyoun’s red mouthwash on the cupboard. The liquid burned the mouth, and you spat in out quick after a few seconds. Although not perfect, the mouthwash effectively dealt with horrible morning breath.

At that moment, you felt like a parasite living off Seungyoun’s necessities. Oh well.

When you walked back inside of the bedroom to pick up all the clothes scattered on the floor, there was a quiet but sensual melody playing. The small bluetooth speaker from yesterday was placed on the bedside table – exactly where the sound was coming from. Seungyoun was obviously awake, but his eyes were still closed.  

“Good morning” You chirped, faking charm while coming over to sit next to the heir. A hand came up to caress the man’s forearm. Soft fingertips touched the outlines of his bicep tattoo, before moving down to trace the circle on his inner elbow. The action tickled Seungyoun, eliciting a quiet but childish giggle.  

“Good morning, I’m surprised you’re still here” He answered, voice hushed and groggy.

“I can leave?” You answered, jokingly sitting up with intention of walking towards the door, but the man was quicker to grab your wrist. Almost stumbling forwards, you gasped, but Seungyoun was there to prevent the fall from happening for the nth time. Once you were safely situated back on the bed, he replied.

“Stay for breakfast at least?” Seungyoun’s eyes finally opened, immediately scanning your beautiful appearance. Despite the room being dimly lit, his irises shone with their own kind of light. The organ inside of his chest skipped a beat, noticing all of his marks on your skin.  

“I was planning to, but thanks anyway” At that, you stood up, breaking out of the light hold without much force. Picking up the heir’s shirt that still rested on the ground, you threw it back at him. The cloth barely flew through the air before it fell on Seungyoun’s face.

“Go shower, I’m gonna prepare us something to eat”

“Don’t burn the kitchen down!”  

“So, let’s set this clear, now that both of us are awake and sober” You said, chewing on a smaller bite of omelet with bacon. Seungyoun took a sip of yogurt, before taking a bite of his own omelet. The male hummed in appreciation at the taste, and although it was a rather simple dish, you felt happy that he enjoyed something you made.

“I will do what’s in my power to help your situation and you will get rid of any form of evidence you have against me and my company” While speaking, you lowered the fork and knife down, looking at the other with serious eyes. Seungyoun swallowed down with an audible gulp, choosing to imitate your actions and become more serious. Still, there was a smudge of yogurt left on the corner of his lips that made your façade break into a slight smile.  

Reaching out, you wiped it off in a quick motion. Seungyoun nodded and coughed to hide the embarrassment he felt.

“Yes. You said that you’ll have me found out if I don’t” The heir laughed, but it wasn’t because he found it funny, rather because the tension started to build. Your gaze turned sharp, warning the other about the situation still being quite serious.  

“How can I know that I can believe you, though?”  

“Well miss, you’re a businesswoman, a CEO, you’re supposed to know which deal is worth taking, no?” Seungyoun bit back, raising one eyebrow at you. Honestly, it should be expected that the heir will take whatever chance he gets to tease. You leaned back in the seat, sighing out loud with arms crossed. The other coughed again and straightened his posture.

“Okay, okay... how can I be sure you’ll help me though?”  

“Because I already am, although unwillingly. It wouldn’t be a problem for me to put in more effort. We’re only bargaining for 25/75 here. You’ll get my whole support and won’t have to act like a piece of shit to get what you want, while I guarantee safety for my own company. You’re getting more than you lose here”

Seungyoun acted as if he thought it over. The reasons seemed perfectly legitimate. Of course, the male didn’t have a problem with the whole proposal, from the moment it was suggested last night. It was only that he wanted to see you in action, negotiating the best possible outcome for INVICTA.

“You mentioned your father loving me. Just imagine what I can do with that information, Seungyoun. Winning the game is just a decision away from you, but so is losing. Think about how much impact I have on both outcomes. Confirm that INVICTA’s secret database won’t be in your possession, or anyone else’s for that matter, and I’ll play an angel”

The heir cocked his head to the side, prolonging the anticipation of the outcome. He watched your eyes grow more nervous, and it was almost possible to hear your hurried heartbeat. The scene was unbelievable, almost as if both of you weren’t aware that the deal was approved last night, almost as if the night didn’t mean anything.

But it did. It meant a lot. In many ways.

“Deal” Seungyoun said confidently, standing up and extending an arm over the dining table. Pleased with the answer, you did the same, accepting the handshake with a strong hold.    

After breakfast, you decided to leave. At the doorway, Seungyoun pulled you into a quick kiss, not leaving much time to process the situation, before you instinctively kissed back. The act lasted only a few seconds, but it left you feeling dumbfounded once finished. Looking at the man with dilated pupils, you bid a quick farewell and stormed towards the elevator.

It was almost 10am, which meant you a small amount of time to stop by the apartment and fix your appearance up. The Porsche roared as it glided through the streets slightly past the speed limit, the pleasant sound all too familiar to your ears. Thankfully, you arrived in a matter of twenty minutes, all but teleporting out of the car and inside of the building.

Changing into a new set of formal clothes didn’t take long, for you already had them ready in the wardrobe. Makeup took more time though, the marks on your neck appearing a bigger problem than you initially thought. The clock was ticking and you decided on covering only the ones that were higher up. Rest of the purple bruises will be hidden by the buttoned-up shirt, anyway.

Taking one last look in the mirror, you hummed in satisfaction, before heading outside.  

While driving towards INVICTA, an unknown fatigue blurred your vision. Shaking it off and turning on some music to wake up, you slowed down, entering a gear two levels lower for safety precaution.  

The strange energy continued to fluctuate even as you walked through the glass entrance of the expensive building. Every single employee seemed to be staring with a curious look. It wasn’t every day that their boss was late, therefore such circumstance piqued interest. The obnoxious sound of heels clicking against the ground served as a great distraction and stimuli to keep grounded. Which was funny, because in your eyes, the ground was slightly shaking, and in no way completely steady.

The inside of the elevator was covered in mirrors. There, you leaned against the metal rail that went around the walls, sighing out loud. It was hard maintaining a straight and stoic posture, especially during days like these. Looking at the completely normal, clean reflection in the mirror, you wondered what exactly it was that had everyone staring. You’ll hear the rumors fast if there were any, anyway.

With a soft ding, the elevator door opened in a swift motion. Eunha was standing right outside, as if she’s been waiting for the boss’ arrival all this time. Your frowned slightly.

“Good morning, Miss” She chirped and walked alongside you. The assistant had a vibrant smile on her face, an expression much different than the ones you’ve encountered at the entrance. She made no remarks about your timing, which you deeply appreciated.

“Good morning, Eunha” You replied with an unusual tone. It lacked energy and the usual upbeat. Time was barely morning, almost eleven o’clock, but it still seemed like the most appropriate way to reply to her greeting.  

Only when you flopped down into the comfortable leather chair, did your mind begin to blur. Seeking more air, you unbuttoned the collar of your shirt, head leaning back against the backrest. Eunha watched carefully, contemplating whether or not to ask about your state. Something happened to deter her from doing so, for she knew you’d tell her if it was anything serious.  

But that tiny purple patch on your now exposed collarbone perfectly triggered her curiosity. The assistant could only hope you’re going to speak up about it.

“A few people called, but no one who I couldn’t have rescheduled, not knowing you were planning on showing up today” She said, standing straight and swiping over the sensitive screen of a big tablet. Her pencil skirt was an unusual color of baby pink, different from her normal black, and instead of listening to the list of calls, you focused on the refreshing change.  

Your eyelids started dropping the more she went on, and all that you’ve picked up from the presentation was that working overtime tomorrow is a must. Currently, it didn’t matter because all that you wished for was another nap, being just millimeters away from dropping down and taking one on the desk.

“Miss? Should I leave and then come back later?” Eunha interrupted, immediately collecting all attention on herself. She was close to the desk, but ready to leave. Her head was cocked to the side while gentle hands held the tablet tightly against her thighs. You looked up at her and tried signaling something with a weird hand gesture.

“I’m sorry” You whispered, watching the other’s expression turn surprised.  

“Why, Miss?”

“I’m not feeling that well...I feel drained...” You continued, opting to massage your temples, hoping it would somehow help the situation. Eunha placed the big device on the desk, crouching down to be eye-level with you. The female had her own assumptions about your state, eyes still occasionally wandering down your neck and towards the little mark.

“Should I bring you some water or coffee? Aspirin maybe?” She questioned, tone nothing else but caring.

“You’re a sweetheart, please do” You answered, head finally lowering onto the two crossed forearms. It was a makeshift pillow, that you hoped would at least help make the short rest more comfortable. Eunha giggled at the passing compliment, whispering a quick ‘it’s my job, Miss’ before heading outside.  

Just when the fatigue was slowly getting the best of you, eyes steadily closing shut – your phone vibrated. The screen turned on, a colorful background now blurred, with a notification of a new message. With a sigh, you moved to throw a quick glance on it, interest immediately piquing at the name of the sender. It was Seungwoo.

Clumsily pressing in the four-digit passcode, you unlocked the device, reading the message in a hurried manner. Even though the man wasn’t anywhere near, you still heard him through the text, voice soft and cheerful.  

------

Snoopy – 10s ago

Hey, how about we go to our café later today? I’ll wait outside when you finish, I got discharged early.

Me

Can you come pick me up in twenty minutes? I don’t feel well and I don’t think I can drive home. We can pick up something on our way back. It’s on me.

-------

With the way your state keeps worsening as the day progressed, you didn’t want to risk driving home. At the same time, you couldn’t have asked for a better-timed moment to meet the other. Time with Seungwoo was extremely limited and rare nowadays, both being way too busy with work.

Often, the male appeared whenever you needed help. It was strange because frequently, Seungwoo didn’t do it intentionally – much like today. Sometimes, you wondered if he had a special sense that detects whenever you’re feeling even the slightest bit wronged. Those thoughts would usually paint a shy smile on your expression, easing off the tension felt at the moment.  

Without any questioning, Seungwoo texted back, saying he’s already out and will be waiting. Unconsciously, you cooed at the other.

Eunha walked in, carrying a glass with water with a dissolving tablet inside. The sound of tiny bubbles travelling up from the bottom filled the quiet room. Once the drug dissolved, you chugged down the liquid, eyes opening wide afterwards, as if to get yourself to shake of the never-ending daze.

Just then, upon a quick glance at the assistant, you noticed the direction of her eyes. Looking down at your chest, it didn’t take long to connect all of the dots. With a half-hearted, more so pitiful laugh, you motioned towards the chair. There were still fifteen minutes until you had to head out, there was just enough time for a quick recap. Eunha was quick to follow orders, hands neatly placed in her lap as she waited for the boss to talk about last night’s interesting events.

Maybe it really was the aspirin, or the excitement of meeting with Seungwoo, but you appeared more awake.

Putting on the usual stoic expression, you walked with much more confidence, greeting everyone with a strict nod and gaze. The employees bowed politely, going back to their usual work without much eye contact with their boss. No one dared to stare anymore.

Outside, Seungwoo stood leaned against his car, eyes travelling all around the place. The man wore a red silk shirt, fitting black jeans and black shoes. Needless to say, without much effort, Seungwoo was the center of everyone’s attention.

His hands were tucked inside of the jean pockets, long fingers occasionally coming up to sweep through his dark hair. It only took the man ten seconds to lock eyes on your approaching form, immediately noticing the slight sway of your hips.  

Pushing off the expensive Aston Martin, Seungwoo leaned in for a hug. Strangely enough, his arms lingered on your body way short, hold similar to a light breeze. Throughout the years, you got used to warm and strong hugs, ones that lasted a lifetime from the other. Therefore, the sudden and drastic change was nothing but unpleasant and disliked.

Swallowing the annoyance down and opening the door, you lowered down into the comfortable leather seat. It was as if you heard the white Porsche weep while you drove away in another car.

“So, what’s up?” The male asked, head tilting in your direction as he spoke. The pure, raw sight of him right now would arouse anyone. Seungwoo’s gaze was sharp but friendly, an eyebrow raised in curiosity and lips forming a teasing smirk. One of his hands was comfortably placed on the gear stick, while the other rested on top of the wheel.  

“Ah, I don’t know what has gotten into me...” You sighed, relaxing further back into the cozy seat. “I’ keep feeling more tired as the day goes on, I was late to work too. That never happens?”

While shuffling to a more comfortable position, the white shirt underneath your blazer moved, exposing that annoying hickey you haven’t covered. Seungwoo’s eyes absentmindedly moved to that area, immediately picking up the sight of it. His brows furrowed and the male reached out to pull the shirt back up, effectively covering the mark up. At least from his own eyes.

“It’s quite obvious what has gotten into you. Just tell your boyfriend to be a little bit less obvious next time” Seungwoo noted, with a voice he rarely ever used. You never caught onto its meaning, despite being good at reading people.  

The male locked his sight on the road, making sure to drive under the speed limit. The streets were bustling with people, and usually you’d look outside, enjoy the urban city, yet this time you couldn’t. Of course, it was only to the closest of friends, but why have you been so eager to tell Seungwoo that Seungyoun wasn’t your boyfriend? Why were you silently hoping that he’d speak up just so you could dismiss his statement?

“Seungwoo, he’s not my boyfriend” With a certain kind of pride, the words escaped through your lips. A tentative hand reached out and patted Seungwoo’s arm, feeling the tension of his muscles. As if externally sensitive, they visibly flexed underneath the careful touch.

“The mark on your neck doesn’t agree” The other spat again, this time with a noticeable amount of displeasure. Choosing the moment to tease the other and ease the tension, your hand that was previously on the man’s arm, moved to his sharp jawline. Your fingers gently caressed the soft skin.

“Is that what’s suddenly bothering you?”  

Seungwoo looked at you as he came to a red light, different emotions flashing inside of his irises. They were dilated, while his lips parted slightly, just barely showing traces of shock. He was ready to lie and disagree, but your thumb and point finger moved to grasp his chin.

“Would you feel better if it was yours?”

A/N: Hi! Uh this took... a lot of unreasonable time to write, I’m sorry. I was confused about what I want to do and what to write, and honestly I hope you guys still remember this fic and wanna keep up haha. Please be careful and stay healthy!

#cho seungyoun #cho seungyoun x1 #seungyoun #seungyoun x1 #seungyoun fluff #seungyoun angst #seungyoun drama #seungyoun smut #seungyoun imagine #seungyoun fanfic #seungyoun scenario #x1 fluff #x1 angst #x1 drama #x1 smut #x1 imagine #x1 fanfic #x1 scenario #woodz #woodz fluff #woodz imagine #woodz drama #woodz fanfic #woodz angst #kpop #kpop imagine #kpop fluff #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #x1

[cakesunflower]

Reach For You [Dad!Calum AU] Ch. 18

A/N: so sorry for the......6 month wait omg. hope y’all missed Aspen, Calum, and Luna as much as i did. yeeeee happy reading!

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17

Chapter 18

“IT’S LIKE PULLING teeth, trying to get them to talk,” Mali whispered, leaning towards Aspen as she spoke, eyes on the scene in front of her rather than on the wine glass she was cleaning with a dish towel. “It’s painful to watch.”

Aspen’s throat worked. She could only see Calum’s profile from where she was standing, his dark eyes set on the television as it played Home Alone. He sat on the single lounge chair, while his mom sat on the smaller couch opposite of him and his dad and Luna occupied the other couch opposite of the TV. The two of them seemed to be in their own world, Luna having gotten along with her grandpa exceedingly well, talking amongst themselves about the movie. Calum was pretending to pay attention to the movie, while Joy was pretending not to be staring over at him occasionally.

That’s how dinner had gone. It was awkward and seemed to drag on forever, but at least Aspen had Mali on her side, the two of them making up for Calum’s silence at the table. It wasn’t like he didn’t speak at all, dropped a sentence or two here and there, but he didn’t directly speak to his parents. Well, at least not to his mom, anyway. He was still upset with his dad by association, but the true object of his anger was Joy, and he wasn’t too subtle about it either.

Not even the pretty Christmas lights they’d decorated the apartment with could bring a sense of tranquility and joy. Not to this group, anyway.

Aspen would be exasperated by his lack of trying if all of this wasn’t her doing to begin with. She called his parents behind his back. She’s the one who invited them for Christmas dinner and ambushed Calum with it. Shit, what had she been thinking?

The sound of Luna’s giggles broke through Aspen’s thoughts, and she felt herself relax a little bit. At least she could count on her daughter to lighten the mood.

“I don’t know what to do,” Aspen responded to Mali quietly, gripping the bottle of wine. She was ready to down the whole thing by herself. With a disgruntled hand running through her hair, Aspen added, “This was a terrible idea.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Mali disagreed, wiping the last glass. “You’re just trying to save Cal’s relationship with our parents, like any caring partner would want to do. It’s not your fault they’re being stubborn about this.”

Aspen wasn’t convinced. “Yeah, but—” She sighed, eyebrows drawing together in distress, looking towards the living room before her gaze met Mali’s again. In a quiet voice, she added, “I knew he wasn’t ready to move forward and I pushed him anyway. I didn’t—” Aspen paused, frowning as her gaze dropped to the counter, twisting her lips as the guilt started creeping through her veins. “I didn’t give him enough time to be angry—”

“He needs to let that anger out before it becomes too much,” Mali told her. “He needs to say his piece and try to move on. What’s done is done and no one can change the past, no matter how much we all want to, and the sooner Calum accepts it, the sooner he’ll feel that burden lift from his shoulders.”

Aspen took a breath, processing Mali’s words. She was still afraid of pushing Calum, not wanting to push him too far and have him be upset with her again—truthfully, she wasn’t even sure if they were okay from the last time they argued about the very situation. Ever since the arrival of his parents, he’s been in an off mood, which Aspen had expected, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t disappointed with his lack of trying after he said he would try. She knew she was at fault for springing all of this on him, knew that if he didn’t hold up his end of the promise then she couldn’t entirely blame him. Still, the dismay was present when all throughout dinner Calum didn’t really make conversation, didn’t engage if it wasn’t with her or his sister or Luna.

Before Aspen could say anything to Mali, Joy’s voice sounded from the living room. “I think it’s time we get going; it’s getting late.”

“No.” Aspen didn’t realize it was she who had protested Joy’s statement until all eyes were on her. Though, all Aspen could feel were Joy’s surprised ones and Calum’s irritated ones as he looked at her over his shoulder. Taking a breath, Aspen offered an encouraging smile. “We haven’t had dessert yet and I was just about to open the wine. Please stay, at least for a little bit.”

She figured, in that moment, she didn’t really want Calum’s parents to leave until at least there was some kind of step forward made. Was she pushing it? Maybe.

“We can’t force ’em if they wanna go, Aspen.” Her eyes met Calum’s dark ones, noted the silent way he told her to just let it go. To let them leave. There was a hint of edge present in the undertones of his casual voice, and Aspen fought from rolling her eyes because she knew he could’ve pretended harder if he wanted to.

“Noooo, I want Grandma and Grandpa to stay!” Luna whined, sitting up on the couch with a frown and pout on her face. Looking at Joy with a puppy dog look the five year old had terrifyingly mastered already, Luna begged, “Please stay! There’s cake and cookies.” Looking at David, she added, “Home Alone isn’t done yet.”

“Lunes,” Calum started, tone genuinely becoming soft as he addressed his daughter. “It might start snowing soon and they can’t be on the road when it does.”

Mali and Aspen both exchanged flat expressions at the lie. It wasn’t going to snow, Aspen knew for a fact, and Calum lying to Luna about it just so she’d possibly drop the subject was ridiculous. So with a lick of her lips and trying to keep her tone even, Aspen said, “Hey, Cal, can I talk to you for a second?”

His gaze met hers once again, the tension in the room returning as she nodded towards the hallway. She noted the way his throat worked in annoyance before pushing himself to his feet, and Aspen shot everyone else a quick reassuring grin as she walked out of the kitchen. They went to Calum’s bedroom and Aspen felt his presence behind her looming as they reached the room, and she shut the door behind her before turning to face him.

Together, both of them demanded simultaneously, “What the hell are you doing?”

Calum exhaled forcefully as Aspen’s eyebrows shot up. “Me? I’m trying to salvage your relationship with your parents.”

He shook his head, jaw tight before retorting, “That’s not your concern, Aspen.”

“We’re partners, Calum, so yeah, it is.”

She saw the anger flash across his face, accompanied by a sense of hurt she hadn’t expected as Calum returned, the edge back in his voice, “If we’re partners then you should be on my fuckin’ side!”

Aspen blinked on an expression of incredulity, lips parting as she inhaled a surprised breath at Calum’s accusation. There was a brief numb silence in the space of the room before Aspen’s brain caught up with her. “I am on your side, Calum,” she exclaimed, fighting to keep her voice low enough so it didn’t travel to the living room where everyone else was. But it was hard to keep her voice from raising with the surprise Calum’s accusation brought. For him to think she wasn’t with him was upsetting and insulting. “I just—I want you to say what you need to say to them and try to move past this.”

Calum gave a shake of his head, slow and defeated. “There’s nothing left to say, Aspen,” he said, voice lower yet still carrying that same level of intensity. He licked his lips as his dark eyes flickered past her and towards the door, thinking of who was currently in his living room, and he expelled a breath. Looking back at Aspen, he continued, “I’ve already said how pissed and upset I am. I’ve told her how she’s fucked up and she’s apologized and I don’t know where we go from here.”

Her heart bled for Calum and the pain he still so obviously was in, attempting to hide it behind anger and stubbornness. But she knew Calum, and as much as it hurt to see him hurt, to see how difficult it was for him to have his parents here, Aspen knew for a fact that he wouldn’t truly feel better until all of this was done with. Calum had always been so close with his parents, was a family oriented man that could be seen in his relationship with Luna, and to see his relationship with his parents crumbled into dust was heartbreaking.

Forgiving Joy wasn’t something Aspen ever thought she was capable of. For the longest time, she hated the woman for everything that happened. But holding onto those kind of strong, negative emotions wasn’t doing her any good. It was only weighing Aspen down, sometimes suffocating her, and it wasn’t until things with Calum had been mended and she finally decided to forgive his mom that Aspen could feel completely okay again. And it was no secret her accident played a big part in Aspen wanting things for Calum to be alright, too. Life was too short to remain under a dark cloud of anger.

“You move forward, bub,” Aspen told him, her own tone growing soft as she took a step towards him, green eyes never leaving his brown. “We can’t change what happened, but we can change how we go from here. I know how much it hurts you to not have your parents, your mom, in your life like you used to. I—”

“I have you and Luna,” Calum cut in, eyebrows drawing together in a subtle frown.

Aspen pressed her lips together into a kind, genuine smile. “You do,” she agreed with a nod. Calum’s throat worked as Aspen looked at him, and she felt herself take a breath. Her shoulders sank in acceptance, her hand finding his. A warmth spread through Aspen as he looked down at their joined hands, maneuvering his fingers to interlock with hers, the sensation of his cool rings one she never tired of. “And if you genuinely feel. . . Complete. . . with us—which is totally and utterly fine—then I will go back into the living room and tell your parents goodnight.”

Calum blinked a couple of times at her words, taking a breath as he lifted his chin, eyes never leaving Aspen’s. She didn’t look away, either, wanting him to know that she genuinely meant it. Sure, Aspen wanted Calum to make amends with his parents, and maybe it was a little too late to realize, but she shouldn’t have pushed him on the matter. She understood why he’d been so pissed off when she told him she’d invited his parents, understood that she’d crossed a line. If Calum genuinely did not want to engage with his parents, if he was content with not restoring a relationship, then Aspen would support him. She couldn’t force him more than she already had, not if she wanted to fuck up their relationship.

Supporting Calum was all that mattered.

“You would?”

Aspen’s smile softened, squeezing his hand, taking yet another step towards him. Her heart thudded within her chest at the look he gave her, uncharacteristically shy and looking so small, and it only reminded Aspen of how difficult this was for him. She nodded. “If that’s what you want, then yeah.”

He was silent as he considered her words, pulling his lower lip into his mouth as he chewed at it thoughtfully. She let him have his time, let him carefully think about what he wanted their next move to be. It concerned all of them, but this was Calum’s decision to ultimately make. Aspen felt badly about taking the choice away from him in the first place, and the least she could do was be by his side and support whatever he chose.

She watched the muscles in his jaw tighten, her eyebrows drawing together worriedly as he squeezed his eyes shut, head lowered as he shook it. Through gritted teeth, Calum confessed, “I want to move on but I just. . . I don’t know how.”

Aspen’s free hand lifted to cup his cheek, lifting his head to connect their gazes once again after he opened his eyes. She offered him a sweet smile. “We can figure it out together.”

They entered the living room, the credits for the movie on TV now rolling, everyone’s eyes on Calum and Aspen as they walked back in. Expectant expressions were painted across all of their faces, and Aspen took a breath before smiling at her daughter. “Hey, Lunes, why don’t you go show Aunt Mali all the presents you got, huh?”

The five year old grinned, jumping off from the couch with Duke hot on her heels as she ran over to where Mali stood, grabbing her aunt’s hand as she tugged. “Come on, Aunt Mali!”

The blonde grinned happily, letting her niece pull her along as her dark eyes met Calum and Aspen’s briefly. She understood the need to get Luna out of the room, happy to comply as she silently agreed to keep the little girl occupied.

An anticipating silence fell upon the room as Luna’s giggles soon silenced behind the closed door of her bedroom. Joy and David watched them patiently, and Aspen glanced at Calum in time to watch him take a breath before gesturing to the couches. “We should, uh, sit down, I guess.”

His parents shuffled around the coffee table, settling on the smaller couch against the wall as Aspen followed Calum to the one diagonal of them. It was silent in the room save for the ever so subtle thick clinking of the chains Calum wore, disappearing under the neckline of his full sleeved dark red sweater. He ran his fingers through his curls, ruffling the shaggy dark locks before he interlaced his fingers together. Calum bowed his head, lips parting as he ran his tongue along the inside of his lower lip, running the words through his head before he finally spoke.

“I’ve told you how I feel. . . And I know how sorry you are.” His words were slow, careful, not meeting anyone’s eyes as he uttered them. Aspen watched him, knowing he was thinking while he spoke, making sure whatever was running through his mind, whatever he was feeling in his heart, was properly articulated. “I just don’t know where we go from here—how we find. . . A sense of normalcy in all this.”

“We find it slowly, son,” David spoke up, his voice a wave of smooth calmness as he looked at Calum. He glanced at Joy before looking back at his son, adding, “This won’t be an overnight thing, we understand that. Still, we would. . .” David let out a soft sigh, his hand finding Joy’s before nodding at Calum. “We would like to try and earn back your trust.” His eyes met Aspen’s. “Both of yours.”

“That’s—” Calum breathed out with a shake of his head, wringing his fingers together as he let out a forced chuckle. Aspen pressed her teeth together as she watched him, wanting to jump in with something. Anything. But Calum needed to do this. So she resorted to resting a hand on his knee, a comforting act of encouragement. “That’s not goin’ to be easy.” Calum looked up, looked at his parents, expression a mixture of the conflict he was fighting and tiredness from it all. “You gave me everything I could’ve asked for, but took away the family I never knew I had.” Twisting his lips, Calum added, “Trust and forgiveness, that’s gonna take some time.”

Joy nodded, looking desperate for some kind of relief, some kind of step forward they all were in search for. “There’s no rush,” she assured with a somewhat nervous smile. She looked between both Calum and Aspen, and even though this was about her boyfriend getting back on the right path with his parents, Aspen was appreciative of Joy and David making her feel included in this. Her and Calum were partners; she was glad his parents saw it, too. “Take all of the time you need. Whatever you think is best for your family, it’s how we’ll deal with this, okay?”

Aspen watched as Calum rolled his lips into his mouth, considering their words. She knew that Calum, just like her, was taking note of how Joy and David were giving them the power, a vast difference from the part they’d played in when it came to the situation that led to all of this in the first place. They were in total control over what was to happen, how they were going to move from here, and the importance of that wasn’t lost on Aspen or Calum. They had basically been kids when they’d unknowingly gotten into this mess with his parents; now they were adults, with a daughter to think about and a family they had no intention of ever losing. They were finally in control, just like they should’ve been since the beginning.

Calum nodded, biting the inside of his lower lip as he sat up, shoulders straight. He sniffed, rubbing under his nose with a finger as he looked at his parents once more. Then his gaze shifted over to Aspen, his expression softening once his brown eyes met her encouraging green. A small smile tilted at his lips, hand coming to rest on top of hers that was on his knee. He took a breath, decided and sure. “Baby steps.”

She nodded along, mirroring his smile, turning her hand under his to properly hold his hand. “Yeah,” she agreed, returning the meaningful look he cast her way before shifting her gaze to his parents. “I’m sure we’ll figure this out.”

For the next hour or so, they brought Luna and Mali back out before they divulged into the wine and desserts Aspen had promised. The shift in the air was noticeable, the tension from before having dissipated significantly. Aspen sipped her wine, watching Calum finally be at ease for the first time since his parents’ arrival, Luna sitting on his lap as he held a plate with a slice of chocolate cake, feeding both himself and her. Mali had decided on playing some music, finding a Christmas playlist on Spotify, to keep the light mood in the air. Aspen figured she was maybe worried that lack of it would bring back the tension from before. Aspen found the gesture cute—and probably needed.

Joy and David didn’t leave until everything was cleared out, both Joy and Mali insisting on helping out in the kitchen to put away the dirty dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. When it was time for Calum’s parents and sister to head out to their hotel, they all gathered by the door, Luna insisting on hugging her grandparents and aunt goodbye. As Mali pulled Aspen in for a hug, she rubbed her back before whispering, “Good job.”

Aspen let out a quiet, breathless chuckle at that, Mali grinning as they pulled away, the two of them sharing a pointed look. And then Joy stepped up in front of Aspen, bringing her a step away from everyone else, and Aspen still felt a prickle of surprise when Joy took her hand in hers and squeezed. “Thank you,” the older woman whispered, the sincerity crystal clear in her eyes. “It means a lot that you invited us. And it shows just how much you care about Calum.” A sadness swept over Joy’s face as she gave a regretful shake of her head. “I’m so sorry I didn’t see it before.”

Throat working, Aspen felt her heart stop for a brief moment at Joy’s apology, taking a breath. The sense of relief was only growing at this point. “I know you are,” Aspen nodded, offering a kind smile. “Thank you for coming.”

Luna ended up in her arms after hugging her grandfather goodbye, and Aspen rubbed at the little girl’s back as Luna rested her head in the crook of her neck, tired after the day’s festivities. She gently swayed her, the movement subtle yet still soothing Luna, as she watched Calum bid his mom goodnight.

“Our flight isn’t until seven tomorrow night,” Joy was saying to Calum. Aspen watched them, trying and failing not to do so, noting how small Calum’s mother looked in front of him. Not just because of their physical height difference; she took in the way Joy, a woman she’d always known to be assertive and bold in her own right, seemed to fold into herself. She hugged herself, as if she was protecting herself from any oncoming rejection, totally uncharacteristic and Aspen understood why as Joy added, “Would it be alright to see you before we go?”

She spoke with trepidation, not wanting to push her luck after only just beginning the process of making amends. Aspen watched on as Calum looked at his mother for what seemed like minutes that stretched on forever, until he finally answered with a single nod, “Yeah.”

Joy smiled in return, shoulders sinking in relief, as the goodbyes and goodnights came to a close, Calum’s parents and sister leaving with smiles and waves as they closed the door behind them. Calum let out a sigh as he locked it, the night coming to an end, turning around just in time for Aspen to whisper, “Hey, you wanna put her to bed? I’m gonna clean up the living room.”

Calum nodded, gaze shifting to a near slumbering Luna, as he stepped forward and reached for his daughter. Luna easily shifted from her mother to her father, arms lazily going around Calum’s neck as she rested her cheek on his shoulder. He felt and heard her take a breath before snuggling closer to him, and it easily brought a gentle smile to his face as he walked down the apartment and towards her bedroom.

He settled her down on the bed, switching on the bedside lamp that provided for a dull glow as opposed to the harsh brightness of the ceiling light. Calum brushed some dark curls out of Luna’s face as she sleepily smacked her lips together, and he suppressed a fond chuckle as he made his way over to the dresser to get her pajamas out. He sat down on the edge of the bed, murmuring quiet encouragements to the little girl who was seconds away from completely falling asleep as he changed her into her pajamas.

But just as Calum laid her upper half back down after putting on her shirt, thinking she was already mostly asleep, Luna spoke up. “I had fun today.” She spoke in a slow, tired drawl, a bit of a wistful hum in her voice as Calum settled her blankets over her.

He sat right next to her on the edge of the bed, hands on either side of her as he looked down to see her dark eyes blinking open. Calum smiled at the sight of her; for her to be this tired, he knew she did have fun. Despite his own issues, Calum had seen, much at the expense of his tightening jaw, that Luna had been enjoying her time with Mali and their parents. Calum hadn’t made for a much pleasant host to his parents, but Luna made up for it with a newfound excitement towards them. A childlike thrill that had, for the most part, put everyone at ease. “Yeah?” Calum mused, smiling down at her teasingly. “You liked all your presents?” They may or may not have spoiled her—Calum more so than anyone else; his first Christmas with his daughter had proven to be his favorite despite the initially unwanted presence of his parents.

“Mhm,” Luna responded, pulling the blanket up to her chin as her brown eyes met Calum’s. “I like Grandma and Grandpa, too.”

Something tightened in Calum’s chest at that, not entirely sure if it was a good or bad feeling as he heard Luna’s words. He’d been struggling with his emotions ever since his parents had arrived, knowing he hadn’t done a good job in keeping his promise to Aspen in trying to be civil. To actually try. But it hadn’t been too bad towards the end. They had made some progress, as much as they could tonight, and Calum had even agreed to see them again tomorrow before they left. That was more than he’d expected to do. And even though he’d been upset with Aspen over inviting his parents without even telling him, Calum knew his anger had dissipated at this point. Not entirely gone, of course, but slowly crumbling away. Slowly.

Calum took a breath before smiling, finger brushing away a stray curl from her face, brushing along her cute, soft little cheek. “They like you, too,” he told her truthfully. Because they did. He could tell. He wouldn’t agree to seeing them tomorrow if they didn’t. “Come on, bug, get some sleep.”

Luna hummed, giggling ever so softly as Calum leaned down and gave her a sweet kiss. He bid her goodnight after switching off the lamp and turning on her nightlight, leaving the door just slightly aja before stepping out into the hallway. He glanced in the direction of the living room, realizing all of the lights were off and that Aspen was probably back in the bedroom.

He walked in, shutting the door behind him just as Aspen emerged from the bathroom. Her makeup was already off, changed into her pajamas, which only consisted of sleep shorts and one of his shirts, and she offered a small smile as he took in the sight of her. “Hey,” she greeted softly. She nodded towards the door. “She’s down?”

Calum nodded, pushing himself off the door. “Out like a light,” he confirmed.

Aspen smiled, running her fingers through her hair. “Good, that’s good.” Licking her lips, her smile turned a bit shy, and she added, “I, uh, have something for you. One more gift.”

Calum blinked, fighting the urge to laugh because of how similar they were. He watched as she walked towards her bedside before his gaze shifted towards his own bedside, more specifically, under the bed where he’d hidden his last gift for Aspen. They’d exchanged presents in the morning, of course. Gifts they’d bought one another by knowing the other’s likes, gifts they’d both loved. He was gonna give her the last gift before bed, but looked like she had beat him to the punch.

Calum approached the bed as Aspen climbed onto it on her knees, him doing the same on his side, eyes going to the very familiar book he’d seen in her apartment. It was Luna’s baby book, and Calum’s eyebrows furrowed together as she held it out to him, slowly taking it from her but not before shooting her a confused look.

Aspen let out a breathless chuckle, rubbing her hands down her sides as she said, “Just look inside. I, uh, added some more pages.”

His eyebrows raised at that, settling back on his legs as he opened the book. He’d seen the familiar pages, all of Luna’s firsts and the pictures that went along with those moments, until he got to the pages that were definitely new. Calum could feel Aspen watching along in anticipation, in nervousness, except all he could focus on was the pages he was looking at and the tightness of his throat.

There were pictures added in there that Calum knew about, and some he didn’t know anyone—Aspen—had taken. Pictures with the labels of “First Spaghetti Sunday w/ Dad”, or “Dad’s First Gift”, or “First Birthday w/ Dad”. Aspen had added all of these pictures of Calum with Luna, or of the three of them together, of moments that had become some of his favorites. A warmth spread through Calum as he took in every picture, every word, heart picking up its pace. He could hear his own breathing, heavy with the emotion that suddenly washed over him, fingers brushing against the photographs of him with his two favorite girls. Aspen had made sure to make him as much a part of the baby book as he was in their lives, and while Calum was not much of a crier, she did a good job in springing the tears in his eyes with this thoughtful gift.

“Aspen,” he breathed out, voice thick and throaty with appreciation and adoration. “This—” Calum let out a short, disbelieving chuckle as he looked at her. He saw the hopeful expression on her face, eyes wide and small smile, and Calum shook his head. “Thank you so much, sweetheart. I don’t—I love this.” He put the book down on the mattress before reaching for her, pulling her into a hug and keeping her close as he said, “I love you.”

He heard her let out a relieved laugh, returning his hug, and Calum shut his eyes as she squeezed him, the smile on his face hurting his cheeks as she returned, “I love you, too. We’re in this together, right? You and me.”

He pressed a kiss to the skin of her shoulder where his shirt fell off. “You and me.” Calum sniffed as they pulled away, and Aspen let out a soft, adoring laugh at the flush in his cheeks, cupping his face as she shot him a grin. “I’ve got somethin’ for you, too,” he told her, prompting Aspen to blink in surprise.

He shifted backwards, one foot touching the ground so he could bend down and pull out the gift bag from under the bed. Aspen raised her eyebrows as he handed it to her. She took it with an anticipating smile of her own, and right as she reached into it, Calum said with a nervous chuckle, “It’s really cheesy, okay? So don’t laugh.”

Aspen rolled her eyes at him, dismissing his thought. “I’m not gonna laugh,” she said, hand reaching past the decorative red tissue paper to grab onto the gift.

Calum pressed his lips together, watching as Aspen pulled out the medium sized decorative jar with a gold lid on top. He watched as Aspen observed it, took in the custom made label on it that read a simple and cheesy message of My Love For You. He felt the heat spread across his cheeks at that, mentally chastising himself for writing something so utterly cliche on the label. Then again, the entire idea of the gift was utterly sentimental and cheesy.

“It’s, uh,” he began explaining, chuckling shortly. “There’s a message on every slip of paper inside for you. Like, uh, reasons why I love you and stuff. There’s, um, one thousand six hundred and forty three little slips in there. . .  One for each day we, uh, weren’t in each other’s lives.”

He watched the way her lips parted at his words, eyes widening as she returned her gaze to the jar she held in her hands. He wasn’t sure why he felt so shy about giving her the gift, the vulnerability not something he was entirely fond of, though when it came to Aspen, Calum was quick to realize facing these types of things was a lot better than running away from them. His throat worked, waiting for her to say something, heart jumping when her glassy green eyes met his dark brown ones.

“Calum, it’s—this is so sweet,” she breathed out, her voice thick with awe as she let out a gentle laugh. Her voice took a teasing tilt, wanting to lighten the emotional mood as she playfully asked, “You have over a thousand reasons why you love me?”

Calum cracked a small smirk, quirking an eyebrow despite his racing heart. “It’s funny that you think I can run out of reasons.”

Her expression softened, a soft chuckle escaping at his words as she gave a shake of her head. Before she let the tears escape, Aspen put the jar down before one had found his cheek, pulling him in for a kiss. Calum returned it eagerly, softly, arms winding around her waist as he kissed her, settling back on his legs once more before using his hands on her thighs to lock her legs around his hips. She tasted like mint toothpaste and he reveled in the familiar softness of her lips, in the touch of her hands on his face as they kept each other close.

“Merry Christmas, love,” he found himself whispering against her lips, wanting nothing more than to melt into her.

Aspen sighed against him, utterly content. “Merry Christmas, Cal.”

--

tags: @irwinkitten​ @sweetcherrymike​ @meetashthere​ @valentinelrh​ @softforcal​ @astroashtonio​ @hereforlukescruff​ @novacanecalum​ @captain-what-is-going-on​ @angelbbycal​ @singt0mecalum​ @hopelessxcynic​ @lfwallscouldtalk​ @bodhi-black​ @findingliam-o​ @softlrh​ @calntynes​ @calumsmermaid​ @erikamarie41​ @quintodosuniversos​ @longlastingdaydream​ @babylon-corgis​ @lukehemmingsunflower​ @imfuckin10plybud​ @pastelpapermoons​ @conquerwhatliesahead92​ @rotten-kandy​ @metangi​ @neigcthood​ @ohhmuke​ @old-zeppelin-shirt​ @5sos-and-hessa​ @trustmeimawhalebiologist​ @vxlentinecal​ @pettybassists​ @vaporshawn​ @lu-my-golden-boi​ @visualm3nte​ @isabella-mae13​ @dontjinx-it​ @lifeakaharry​ @neonweeknds​ @antisocialbandmate​ @ixcantxdecidexwhosxmyxfave​ @calpalbby​ @grreatgooglymoogly​ @sunnysidesblog​ @gorgeouslygrace​ @cocktail-calum​ @miahelizaaabeth​ @madelynerin​ @dramallamawithsparkles​ @theagenderwhocriedwolf​ @kaytiebug14​ @hoodskillerqueen​ @bitchinbabylon​ @empathycth​ @xhaileyreneex​ @inlovehoodx​ @aestheticrelated​ @bloodlinecal​ @sublimehood​ @madbomb​ @raabiac​ @britnicole11​ @outofmylimitcal​ @fluffsshawn​ @bloodmoonashton​ @vxidhood​ @tea4sykes @lukeinblue​ @mysteriouslycali​ @hoodcentral​ @rosecoloredash​ @hearts-to-the-sky​ 

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[originofjaehyun]

Prelude: After Story | Part 3 | Make Your Day

Prelude: After Story Masterlist

Word count: 4,330

Warnings: Suggestive

Part 3 | Make Your Day

“Just by your existence, you already shine radiantly like this.”

Prev

Read Interlude: No More Drama

Tag list: @justineasian​ @elauniesdream

A/N: I started Interlude: No More Drama series back in March, and I never knew that the series would go this far. Prelude: After Story is a mini-sequel that I actually didn’t plan –since I started to write Interlude during the Neozone era and I didn’t know how they would bring the repackage album, but truthfully I’m very proud of where it is. I think it is quite interesting to see things from Yuta’s POV! 

I hope you’re not bored at this, but I wish I could convey my gratitude better. I already wrote my thank you during the end of Interlude, but I’d like to say thanks again. Really, receiving warm messages especially during the current world situation does brighten up my day. So I hope that my writings could help to entertain you, to make your day (no puns intended hahaha).

This marks the end of Interlude: No More Drama and Prelude: After Story series! I personally think this is a milestone for me as a writer (especially this is one of my first published work). In the future, I would probably go cringe when I re-read this when I’m able to write a better story, but nevertheless this is the first stepping stone and it doesn’t change the fact that I will always feel proud of this. I really like how the story unfolds and how the character develops, and I think this is the perfect closure to end the series.

Thank you for loving them, and enjoying the ride with the characters!

Much love,

Dee

The same reaction, always, whenever Yuta received a guest.

You took a moment to admire his house. It’s late, but after stepping inside, you are greeted with the large window –displaying the amazing view of the cityscape.

He took off his suit, throwing it to the armchair. “Please be comfortable. Sorry for the sudden invitation, I realized I might be slightly pushy now that I've started to sober up. I can’t believe I let a woman drive me home.”

You giggled softly. “Please, gender shouldn’t prevent you from driving safely. Anyway, you have a very nice place.”

He scoffed. “It’s humble, but I like this place. The view is very charming from here. Well, sit down, I’ll grab our glasses and some ice.”

Of course, his apartment is anything but humble. You quickly scanned the room as you make your way to where he pointed his couch is. There are weird ornaments as a part of the house decorations here and there, like a vase with Japanese ceramic technique with a single dark crimson rose and few decorations of octopuses —you never knew how those could blend in together. Nevertheless, it has its own charm and the place screams his personality.

“Here,” He passes you a glass that is filled with caramel-colored liquid. The sound of the ice touching the glass snaps you from your daydream. “It’s Hibiki 12. I hope you don’t mind whiskey?”

You accepted the glass with both of your hands. “I’m good with anything. Out of curiosity though, do you always have a Japanese liquor on hand?”

A wide grin appears on his face, showcasing the perfectly aligned teeth. “To be precise, I always have Hibiki around because they are easier to drink. I managed to snatch a bottle of champagne and bourbon, though. Do you prefer those instead?”

“Would never refuse an invitation for a bottle of good quality champagne.”

“Seems like you’re a heavy drinker, Miss. I must say I think I’m pretty good at handling my alcohol, but I want to make sure there’s no accident tonight.”

You slightly flinched at his last sentence but managed to control your expression.

“Ah, I think just normal? I could manage if we could keep the pace slow –though I’m pretty sure that’s not what you wanted tonight.”

Yuta smirked, taking a seat on the floor across you. You followed him, taking a seat near him since it would be rude for you to remain seated on the couch while the house owner is being casual and sitting on the floor.

“Actually, not really.” He said while twirling his class, taking another sip. “I was thinking of taking it slow tonight.”

You shifted your stare to see him. “Is that so.”

While you thought it was quite careless for him to invite a stranger –technically you are up until the car ride where you briefly introduce each other– to his house, you’re not the one to talk since you also waltzed into his apartment without any second thoughts.

Both of you don’t mind the silence, as he continues to spin his middle finger around the rim of his glass. Either the alcohol starts to kick in, or he is consumed by his own thoughts. His cheeks start to flushed like cherry blossoms, and his mind is in a daze.

“I–” Yuta finally breaks the silence. “Was thinking a lot about my own feelings. On the contrary to my look, I think I’m actually the type of person who feels a lot. Most of the time I decide things based on my feelings.”

You didn’t respond, so there’s a momentary pause before he bridges his story together. You didn’t respond because you didn’t pay him any attention, but you just feel like right now what he needs is to let out his feelings, bare to the table.

“When I received my invitation, I feel like the ground below my feet shattered. But at the same time, it would be rude of me to reject it when she was so excited about her wedding. I was thinking how could this person be so dense to invite me that are still wallowing in sorrow?”

You took another sip of your whiskey, keeping your mouth shut while listening to his story.

“As I entered the venue today, each and every of my step seems harder. Like, I was regretting saying yes to her invitation.”

He then looked down at his almost empty glass. “Then I saw her face. And it feels like... all the answers that I’ve been looking for was there. That today was the day where I truly feel thankful that I made that decision. I’m glad she looked happy,”

He took another sip, finishing whatever left on his glass. “I’m glad that I could end this and make it into a proper memory.”

There it is.

The man in front of you smiled when he reached the end of his sentence. But you can see how that smile was wrapped in sadness.

You know by the way he talks, he is a man full of passion. His directness that is sometimes always too spontaneous. But it’s not the blazing-type of passion. Maybe because of his past, there’s always a trail of woe that surrounds him. That keeps him from burning his surroundings.

Like a blue flame.

“I’m sorry, it must be weird to suddenly listen to my sad story,” He said as he rises up. “Let me refill your glass. Should we take other liquor? I was thinking of switching it up to wine. I didn’t lie when I said there’s no more regret, but in order for me to truly accept it, I guess I kinda need to feel my feelings? I need something to dull the pain.”

“I thought you only stole bourbon and champagne?”

“You can’t call it a Nakamoto residence without a vast amount of alcohol gallery, you know?”

Finally, a hint of delight starts to replace the somber mood. “Again, I’m a guest so I’ll take anything. For your reference, though, I’m more of a red wine person.”

He curls his lips upwards, chiseling his well-structured cheekbones, “Got it. Also, please be more comfortable. I’m the one who suddenly invites you, after all.”

As he walks toward his wine fridge, you reactively rise up, about to offer your help. You’ve been sitting on your feet for quite a while, and your legs are definitely not ready for the sudden movement. You almost slip to the ground, but as if it was a shoujo manga, Yuta manages to catch you.

“Careful!” He said as he holds your upper arm, preventing you from falling.

It feels like the universe planned this all along, as cliche as it might sound.

You get to see his face, up close. The way his eyes pull you in, glistening from the alcohol that he had consumed.

It would be a lie if you told him that you’re not attracted. How could you not? The man in front of you is obviously good looking, but his demeanor, the way his voice travels through the air.

It was all just too alluring.

You avoided of the what-could-have-happened-next scenario by breaking the eye contact, looking away. It is a different case for Yuta. Because the sight of your neck, now burning in the vibrant pink flush is like an open invitation for him.

And he is not Yuta if he is not a decisive person.

He leans in, giving you a soft kiss on the lips. A kiss you didn’t see coming, but most definitely sending electrifying feels to your spine. A kiss that is mixed with the bitterness from alcohol. Yet Hibiki is sweet, so you long for more, kissing him back in the process.

The kiss that was started gently, suddenly rises up as both of you wanting for more. He dives in, checking if you felt the same way. You reciprocated, biting his lower lips. Asking him to pace up the speed.

You thought he would gladly eat you. To your disappointment, however, he separates his lips from yours.

“Are you fine with this?”

His whispers are gentle, yet able to give you goosebumps. He knows, that even under influence he should earn your consent before moving on to the next step. That surprises you because you thought the alcohol would turn him into a beast. But Yuta remains as a gentleman.

So you shyly give him a nod of approval, much to gain his wonderful smile. He leans forward to kiss you, but this time in a much more aggressive manner.

As he trails his lips to your neck, soft moans escape from your lips.

“Wait,” You stopped him half-way, which he only responded with a confused face. “Can we, uhm, perhaps move somewhere else? I… never done this… so I don’t know if I’m doing this right,”

Seeing how nervous you are, and the way you panicked over this, Yuta couldn’t help to chuckle softly. 

“Of course, that is rude of me,” He kissed your temple, followed by gentle strokes on your head. 

“Come.”

He stands up, offering his hand in which you immediately accept. He guides you to his room. His room didn’t shy away from being loud, some might even perceive it as odd since he opts to choose eccentric pieces to decorate his sanctuary. But everything seems to mesh well together with his plain beige wallpaper. There are a few unfinished canvases at the corner, most notably a painting of roses.

You were busy admiring his room to realize that he was waiting for you at the corner of his bed. Arms wide open ready to embrace you.

You giggled at the scene, but then you remember that you fall into his arms means it won’t stop at just there.

“Can I... use your bathroom first?”

You can feel the heat collecting on your cheek. You were embarrassed to ask such a question, but Yuta understands where you are coming from in a heartbeat, and you are glad for that.

“Please,” He said, gesturing to you to find his bathroom. “But once you’re done, we’re not stopping, yeah? I think I’ve been good for being patient, don’t you think?”

You smiled at his remarks. “I’ll be quick.”

You practically skipped your way to the bathroom. You checked yourself, at least making sure you smell pleasant. Then before leaving the bathroom door, you took your time in front of the sink. Contemplating with yourself in the mirror.

You are about to fuck Yuta.

The words repeated inside your head but soon vanished at the sight of a foreign object. Not that you are used to his apartment, but everything in his apartment was coated with his character, except this dainty jewelry.

It was a delicate, simple rose gold earrings. You noticed that Yuta rocks multiple piercings on both of his ears. But none are this delicate. It seems these were too plain for his liking.

Who am I to judge?

You said to yourself. You literally just know this man tonight and you’d be damned to judge his taste. Who knows, maybe he has those days where he wants to lay low. Whenever he’s going to meet his clients, perhaps? But you feel like keeping such delicate pieces in the bathroom has a potential of him losing it, so you call him out.

“Yuta?”

He hummed as a form of reply.

“You shouldn’t keep your earrings near the sink, you know. You might wash them away by accident.”

Suddenly you can hear his footsteps, rushing. You didn’t lock the door and you are glad that you didn’t because he would probably break the door open. He rushed to grab the pair of earrings, and the color on his face fades away. The smile that once appeared on his face was no longer there.

This gains your confusion. What does a rose gold earring mean to him that he had to act this way?

A rose gold earring.

A painting of roses.

A single rose that was fresh, as if it was treated with the utmost care.

Then you remember that the sight of a rose is definitely not a stranger for you, especially the last three days.

You decorated the hall with roses.

The couple carefully selected the specific color of the roses, making the last few weeks like a nightmare looking out for the vendors.

Of course, you even arranged her bouquet with roses.

“Ah, I just like roses,” She said to you when you asked why she picked roses as one of the main flowers. “As cliché as it might sound, I think roses are one of the most stunning flowers out there. They’re beautiful but surrounded by their thorns so you got to treat them gently unless you want them to prick you. Also, I think it’s because of the roses that we’re back together.”

“Did we?” Her fiancé finally looked at her after busy playing with the ring on her fingers.

“Don’t you dare to forget you add water to my shower gel.”

You could remember the laughter vividly in your head, but the last thing that you would want right now is to laugh. 

“I get it.” You tried to act though, but there’s a crack in your voice. “I get that you just told me you were trying to forget about her a few minutes ago.”

You can feel like your vision is about to start to blur, but you took a deep breath to prevent a single tear to drop.

“I’d like to blame it on the alcohol, but I guess I’m at fault too.”

Was it the way he always smiled so brilliantly? His weird and odd taste that makes you furrow your brows the moment you step into his place? The way he comes to your shop every week to buy fresh flowers and look at them so lovingly?

Perhaps, because he could enter your heart so easily. Who knows, you might have already fallen for him the moment he requested for roses the first time you met him.

You get that you only get along well, and what are the chances that these things happen so smoothly? You’re not a princess out of a Disney movie.

He evidently holds the pair of earrings so dearly, and even though you’re not the type of person who puts your feelings on your sleeve, it is inevitable that you felt the sharp pain on your chest.

“I never do this, Yuta. And I don’t plan on doing these things, if that someone doesn’t think about me at this very moment.”

Your words startled him, and before he could speak up, you gave him your last words. “Please, don’t ever take this so lightly, especially to me.”

You walked past him, grabbing your belongings in the living room before walking outside. You are glad Yuta didn’t chase you, because it would hurt your pride if he knows that you cried a river when you walk your way to your car.

--

It’s nearly a week since you closed your flower shop. This is your business and to be frank you are still upset about what happened after the wedding party. The newlyweds paid a hefty amount of money so you can survive a bit without operating. Though, this small shop that is also connected to your home upstairs will need to open soon in order for you to be able to pay your bills. Furthermore, your love for flowers is far too great for you to leave them without any attention. 

You closed your shop, telling your customers (especially your regulars) and putting a sign in front of the shop that you will be back after a week of break. You also told Mark that he wouldn’t need to come. He accepted it without pressing for further questions, but it’s so like Mark to make sure you’re alright.

“I’m fine, really. You don’t need to pay for my shift this week either.”

“Are you sure? I was thinking I could give you half of it.”

“No, I wouldn’t feel good taking money without putting any effort into it. But most importantly, you sure you’re fine, Noona?”

You sighed in relief, glad that Mark is well-raised and how he always cares about the people around him. “I’m fine, Mark. I think the wedding frenzy got the best of me, so I was thinking of having a short break so I could have a fresh start.”

“Well, it was overwhelming, not gonna lie,” Mark said as he recalled how he helped you prepare for his brother’s and new sis wedding. “I guess if you say so. Please if there’s anything I could do to help, let me know Noona.”

You replied with a simple yes, throwing your phone to the bed after you ended the call.

The past week, all you’ve been doing is to wake up early in the morning, tend the flowers, eat your breakfast, and go straight to nap. It’s a bad habit, yes, but that is how you cope with sadness.

Sad? Am I entitled to feel so?

You only know Yuta briefly, he is a regular. The fact that you know that he’s a Japanese before he told you so is probably trivial to him.

“We’re out of camellias, I’m terribly sorry sir.”

“Do you know when the next batch will come?”

“Unfortunately camellias are not in season, so it will take a while for us to restock it.”

He sighed, then he looked at his wristwatch. It seems like he doesn’t have that much time to browse the catalog.

“Is there a reason why you’re looking for camellias?”

“Ah, not really. It reminds me of home. I just came back from there last week. I thought of getting roses, but I changed my mind.”

“Home?”

“Oh, sorry. I wasn’t from here. I’m a Japanese, you see.”

“Oh! I didn’t notice.”

He shyly scratched the back of his head, still not used to people complimenting his bilingual ability. You find his reaction charming, unconsciously giggling at it.

“Then, sir, I assume you’re in a hurry. May I give you a suggestion?”

“How do you know I was in a hurry?”

“Well it was easy since you immediately asked for camellia and looked at your watch the moment I told you we don’t have one.”

He lets out a smile. A smile so warm that sunflowers might face toward his direction immediately. “Indeed, I have to meet someone this evening. So your help will actually good for my favor. I was thinking of buying flowers for my dining table, do you have any suggestions?”

Now it’s your turn to smile. “I think buttercups would be perfect.”

—

Yuta has been thinking a lot about what happened last Saturday.

Especially how he should talk to her.

It’s easy to spot her store, Yuta and Doyoung practically passed by it every single morning on their way to the office. The sun hits the flower store perfectly. Not too harsh, just a bask of the golden ray. Usually, he would see how the beautifully bloomed flowers were displayed on the store windows. But it’s already day six and the store shows no sign of operations.

He reads the announcement board in front of the store; “Paradise will be closed for an inventory check. We will be back to serve you next week!”

He feels dejected. Yuta couldn’t just ask Mark for her number, that would have raised so many questions. Yes, Yuta kissed her, but was their relationship that close for him to ask for her number? The fact that both of them are not sober is also a part of Yuta’s concern.

So instead, Yuta planned to visit the florist (especially since he’s been skipping buying flowers for a week —his vase longed to be filled with any arrangement) as an excuse to meet her. But now he even lost that very reason.

He was about to step away before a tune leaked out from the front door.

Someone is here.

Without hesitation, Yuta knocked on the front door. The one inside, however, did not expect any visitor. Yuta can hear how the person inside scrambles their way to open the door.

“Yes?”

She lets out a professional smile, and it fades almost instantly as soon as she sees Yuta standing in front of her door.

“Hi.”

“Yuta!” She closes her mouth, surprised that she shrieked. “Uhm, I… didn’t expect you to come. But our store is currently close, so if you’re looking for flowers, unfortunately we—“

“I want to talk to you.”

Again, it’s so very Yuta to cut to the chase.

“I want to clarify a few things.”

She finally looked at him. She tried to remain calm, keeping the expressionless upfront. But Yuta could see how her pupils were quivering. She was trying to be brave.

“I’d like to apologize for three things. One, the way I reacted at that time. It was only mere minutes after I said that I’m truly happy for her. As a human being, don’t you think it’s understandable that I reacted that way?”

She nods but remained silent.

“I’m typically an extrovert, but I’m very territorial with my personal space, and I let her go beyond the lines that I created. In a way, she is precious to me.”

This time, she didn’t respond.

“And she would probably always be. But that doesn’t mean I could only have one precious person in my life.”

She furrowed her brows, and Yuta smirked as he continued.

“After that night, I think a lot about my feelings. How I truly felt.” He scratches the back of his head that is not itchy, but because it takes a lot for Yuta to bare his feelings like this while being sober.

“And the answer remains the same. I genuinely feel happy for her. So I thought, it would only be right to properly keep everything away, little by little instead of throwing it away out of anger. Forcing myself to move on from her. Because I, too believe –as narcissistic as this might sound, that I was a part of a chapter in her life that she holds dear too. It might be slow progress, but I will get there, eventually.”

“Secondly, I apologize for not apologizing for kissing you that night. There is no regret, the attraction is mutual anyway.”

She tilted her head, before realizing what Yuta actually meant. “Wait, you knew?”

He chuckles. “Going back to Osaka was the turning point. Probably everything that I need. It forces me to start fresh, exactly like what I did when I first set foot in this country. It let me accept that I’m actually the type of person who feels a lot. Like how I admit that I’m hopelessly romantic.”

The cold atmosphere starts to melt away, with the addition of the sun seeps in between the leaves on the nearby tree.

“So afterward I’ve been looking into subjects that I never knew I would be interested in, for example, flower languages. Might be the very first reason why I came to receive buttercups from this place.”

“So what you said…”

“Well, I guess I can say my third and last apology. I’m sorry that I am a hopeless romantic kind of guy. I’m very direct, people often told me that I intimidate them sometimes just by doing nothing. But it is just my outer shell. I might not be as strong as the way people view me. Now that you know, it might put you off, huh.”

She finally laughs, “Yuta, I am a florist. This is my field.”

As if her laugh is contagious, Yuta too, unconsciously smiling back.

“I guess, it’s been quite a journey. At least for me. Maybe I’m the one who holds onto the feelings, thinking that I should hold into it for as long as I could possibly can. But life doesn’t work that way, you know? And probably the time you gave me daffodils is one of the signs, too. I just brushed them off because of my stubbornness.”

“Maybe, just maybe, I want to start seeing life as it is. To enjoy the present. To enjoy life as moments. To experience the wonderful charm of its magic. One of the magical moments started here, and I love to cherish them while the magic is still here. In fact, it’s been a long time since things are going smoothly for me. So if I can be ever so selfish, would you let me?”

She was stunned by his remarks. Eyes blinking rapidly, completely unprepared for his sudden proposal.

Yuta had expected it. It’s barely a week, and to receive this kind of confession —although not necessarily a boyfriend-girlfriend confession— from a man who just told you his grief can be confusing.

The confused face started to fade, and she left without replying to a single word. 

Yuta thought she rejected him, asking him to leave the shop.

Well, you deserve this, Nakamoto.

As he was about to walk away, she came back with anthuriums on her hand. Taking a moment to catch for her breath as she was rushing to grab these flowers.

“This is?”

“You don’t want an answer?”

He shook his head. “It’s not that. I mean, yes I told you I’ve been learning about flower languages but it’s mostly from Google, and I can’t possibly remember the meaning of every single flower?”

“I can.”

“You are a florist, my dear.”

She laughed lightly, a tone that was like jiggles of bells to Yuta’s ears.

“Can you move closer? I want to whisper these words to you.”

Yuta motioned to her immediately, obediently following her request. As her lips almost touch his ear, Yuta can feel his blood rushing to his ears.

She said, gently to his ears. “I hope you’ll be happy today.”

#yuta scenarios #yutaxreader #yuta fic #yuta fluff #neowritingsnet #commoner!yuta #commoner!au #Yuta #prelude after story #nct scenarios #prelude #make your day

[drjackandmissjo]

it’s nice to have a friend

previous chapter --- chapter 8 --- next chapter

feysand masterlist

“Have my back, yeah, everyday”

Feyre hadn't received that many handshakes and congratulations since their wedding.

Back then she had to shoulder the attention alone, giving polite smiles as Rhys was equally distracted. The crowd had swarmed them to opposite sides of the altar, Feyre's white gown and the constant press of bodies not giving her the proper chance to move freely. When they were finally done with the guests' pleasantries, husband and wife had walked back to each other and that felt like putting the last piece of a puzzle in place, his arms carrying her home, to whenever he was.

Now she wasn't alone accepting the complements. Rhys held a hand against the small of her back, beaming next to her at each praise his wife rightfully received, proudly backing her up since the day they met all those years ago.

The memory was still fresh in her mind, despite being over six years old. She had entered her room, finding him there, waiting for Mor and lazily running his fingers over Feyre's bookshelf. "Who are you?" she had asked, a little bit harsher than usual. She had had a long tiring day, her boyfriend grinding on her nerves, and she had wanted nothing other than curling on her bed and watch Netflix. But there had been an incredibly attractive stranger in her room and she couldn't exactly remove her shoes with him standing there! Mor had then yelled from the bathroom, "He's my cousin, Feyre. Rhys. Play nice!"

She hadn't specified who was supposed to ' play nice ' with, yet Feyre had simply held up her hand for him to shake, maintaining her distance. He had taken it gently, raising it up to his mouth to place a soft kiss on the back of it. Suddenly Feyre understood to whom Mor had directed her words and she could feel the heat rising up on her cheeks. She had removed her hand abruptly, reminding herself that she had a boyfriend who was already pissed at her for not changing her daily schedule to accommodate his. Rhys hadn't commented, just chuckled and turned back to her bookcase as she discarred her bag. Feyre knew that she should've started a polite conversation, but the silence between them was comfortable and she couldn't think of anything to say.

"You took Greek Lit?" he had asked her eventually, deep voice and a soft northern accent. "Yeah I had a credit free last year and decided to take it instead of Latin. The mythology's much more interesting." He shook his head a little at her reply, a small smile appearing on his lips as he nodded in agreement. "Mor told me you're an art major. What would you need any of those lit classes for?" he inquired, genuine curiosity sparkling in his eyes. Feyre shrugged at that, the VU art department was the only one that required one or the other, but that was during the sophomore year with all the other Lit courses, a few of which she had already taken in her freshman one. "Both for curriculum and fun. I love the stories." The smile he gave her was blinding, both understanding and changing. "Couldn't agree more. What version of Hades and Persephone do you prefer?"

She was speechless. She hadn't told anyone about how that was her favourite myth and yet this stranger had gotten it right at the first try, even though the books on her shelves were generic and didn't focus particularly of that story. She had discussed the story only once with Tamlin while she was writing a paper on it, and he had dismissed her instantly, siding with Zeus and Demeter. She was almost tempted to lie to Rhys, to give him the traditional 'bad guy takes the princess ', yet she couldn't bring herself to. "The one where they're both in love and he saved her, not kidnapped her" she said truthfully, feeling almost a physical weight at her chest. "Couldn't have agreed more, Feyre Darling." She had blushed at the term of endearment and had shot a mean glare that left him laughing as Mor opened the bathroom door, carefully looking between them.

"I don't have to kick his ass, do I?" she had asked Feyre, a pointed look to tell her she meant it. The artist merely laughed at that, looking up at Rhys who was equally amused. The pair had left soon enough after that, inviting her to come along, but Feyre had simply declined the offer, not knowing if the second week of knowing someone was enough to intrude in their own group of friends.

And now there she was, smiling widely at her husband as he tried to explain badly a painting to her and Azriel, who simply shook his head in disbelief. She couldn't help but laugh at his poor attempt of colour coding as he tried to convince her that all the skyscrapers in the background were spaceships ready to be launched.

He kept his hands on her throughout the night, either holding her hand in his own as they walked the people-packed halls of the gallery or caressing her back with soothing strokes to ease her nerves.

It wasn't until later, around ten, that he had left her alone talking to a client, excusing himself to go and refill their glasses. "Feyre?" a voice she hadn't heard in years, with the exception of a few nightmares here and there, spoke from behind. She politely apologized to the man she was talking to, promising to find him in the morning to finalize the details of the custom commission he would be hiring her to do, and she turned around slowly. Her eyes scanned the room, looking for a friendly face, before settling on him.

Tamlin hadn't changed much. Same blonde hair, now cut short in a very business-like looking cut; same emerald green eyes; same expensive looking clothes. He now sported a white gold ring on his left hand, although he was missing his other half. Due to the lack of yelling and due to the air not being that tense, Feyre thought she had been left at home.

"Mr. Spring" she called professionally, establishing her boundaries as she would with any new client. "It's a pleasure to see you." Her smile was more fake than an 'original Rembrandt' that was being sold in a backdoor alley, but he didn't seem to notice.

" I was hoping I'd find you here, Feyre" the way he said her name brought shivers of dread and terror to her spine. "This is my own gallery, Mr Spring. Where else should I be?" she asked, taking a step back as he took one forward, not waiting to come closer to him than necessary. Memories of him telling her that her 'silly dream ' wouldn't get her that far swirled in front of her eyes, a proud and wicked satisfaction spreading in her bones.

His eyes looked for hers but she avoided them pointedly. "What can I do for you, Mr Spring? Wasn't your wife satisfied with the knowledge of our previous relationship? I'm afraid to inform you that we do not take returns nor do refunds" That probably wasn't the answer to his presence,  considering the she devil wasn't there herself.

He sighed deeply, running a hand over his face. "I've made a mistake letting you go" he said eventually. Rage started coursing through Feyre's veins, yet she managed to keep the control over it and her voice didn't falter as she spoke, "Let me correct you, Mr Spring: you've made many mistakes and you didn't 'let me go' , I broke up with you and left", venom lacing and dripping from each word.

"Feyre that's enough!" he scolded her as he used to back in the day, treating her like a miscreant child, "Enough with this little delusion of yours. You know we're destined to be together."

The bitter laugh that came out of her had drawn a little attention from passerby visitors, but she scolded her features to maintain a normal demeanour as she hissed through her teeth at him "You're the one who's delusional, considering it's been years and I have never once looked back at my decision. Hell, I forgot that you existed even! Also, you're destined to rot in a coffin as I appear on artbooks for the next two centuries at least!" He was about to retort back at her when abruptly the words died in his mouth. A comforting presence appeared behind her back, placing his hands on her hips as she leaned back into Rhys, immensely thankful. With her husband came a wave of confidence that Feyre hadn't had before. "Now, please excuse me but I've got other guests to entertain" she said, not caring if she was being rude to a client, "Say hello to your wife from me. Don't let the door kick you on your way out as you leave before I call security."

And with that, she turned around, guiding Rhys with her and gladly accepting a glass of white wine from a waiter.

"I'll be right back, Darling. Gotta make sure he doesn't bother us anymore" he whispered against her ear, the soft blow of his breath comforting her greatly.

She nodded once, "Don't get blood on your shoes. It's a bitch to take off Italian leather!" He laughed at her, kissing her cheek before leaving the gallery.

When he came back a few minutes later he was dazzling and spottles in his suit, but his eyes were clouded and mouth pressed on a thin line. She simply moved her hand to caress his cheek as she leaned forward to brush briefly her lips against his.

"Thank you." she whispered against his lips as his arms wrapped around her middle. "For what?" came the breathless reply. She nuzzled her nose against his cheek, enjoying the way his stubble tickled her, "For always having my back, everyday."

A soft smile appeared on his lips and he tightened his grip on her. "Not a problem, Darling."

He then released her, holding her hand in his, before quietly adding "I do enjoy the view from there, though!"

#to the stars who queue #feysand #feysand fanfiction #feyre archeron #feyre x rhysand #rhysand #artist feyre #ao3 #ao3 link #alternate universe #post college/university #modern day #friends to lovers #married couple #taylor swift song #it's nice to have a friend #inthaf #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas

[rainverry]

truth

pairing: mark lee x gender neutral reader word count: 1.7k words genre: angst, fluff warnings: mentions of cheating author's note: pure cringey fluff, honestly (and not the good kind). read at your own risk.

Everything about her was a lie. From her sickly sweet smile to her perfectly curled lashes, she seemed to appear from a dream, as if she wasn't real; as if it was too good to be true for a person like her to exist.

That did not stop the love of your life and your lifetime best friend Mark Lee from falling head over heels for her. As much as you wished for the ground to open up and swallow you whenever you saw him kiss her or hold her tenderly, you couldn't blame him for being smitten with her. Her face looked like it was made to define perfection, her bubbly personality was always a mood maker and God, if you couldn't see through her fake smiles and forced laughs even you would fall for her.

Every time you looked at her, her curly head thrown back in faux laughter at a joke Mark had cracked, you knew that she didn't care an ounce for your best friend's feelings. So when the news came that she broke Mark's heart by dumping him for someone else, it was unfortunately no surprise to you.

That happened about a little over a month ago. You've tried to check on Mark to see how he's doing, but since your schedules were packed with midterms, phone calls were the only way you could communicate for the past few weeks. He'd assured you over the phone that he would be fine and he just needed time to heal from that disastrous breakup.

Now, you are sprawled out on your couch, not paying any attention to the Netflix show you had put on when you hear the shrill of your ringtone. You lazily reach over to your phone and press Answer, not bothering to see who's calling.

"Hello?" you mumble sleepily. You rub your eyes, let out a silent yawn and look at the clock on the wall. It isn't even half past 9, and usually you'd be out celebrating the end of your exams but your body is tired out from the long few weeks you've had.

"Hey Y/N, are you busy?" Mark's raspy voice greets in your ear, and that's all it took for your drowsiness to slip away.

"Not at all, what's up?" you tell him truthfully.

"Could you... could you come over?" he questions timidly. You hear a muffled sniffle on the other line, and you immediately know he'd been crying.

"I'll be right there."

When you unlock his front door with a spare key Mark had provided you in the past, the last thing you expect to see is him moping on one corner of the sofa, staring dolefully at the blank TV screen in front of him. Your heart drops at the sight.

"Hey," you whisper softly as you toss the keys on the coffee table and sink down on the space beside him.

He doesn't say anything as he leans his head on your shoulder as his silent response. You let him soak in your presence first, knowing that he'll soon start talking when he's ready.

After a moment, "It's her," he murmurs with a sniffle, and your fists clench at his words. "I found out that she started seeing him the day we first kissed."

And that's when you feel your sleeve start to get wet from your best friend's tears. You thank the heavens that Mark couldn't see your face at that moment because you're sure that your gaze could pierce through walls. You're tired. You're tired and sick of the many people that have manipulated him in the past, you want to strangle every single one of them and the cause of his latest heartbreak is no different.

You don't expect him to continue talking, but he does. "I'm an idiot, that's all I am," he starts to sob into the crook of your neck, his body trembling and his voice cracking, and your heart breaks a thousand times over. Your left shoulder is soaked with his tears, but you couldn't care less as you wrap your arms around his torso, your own tears threatening to fall.  "I felt so l-lucky, thinking someone could finally love me. But i-it's a lie, of course it's all a lie! I'm so stupid. I fell for it. Again."

You lightly pull the hairs at the nape of his neck comfortingly, trying to keep yourself from crying. "You're not stupid Mark. At one point you're going to get over her eventually. It will take some time, but once you do get over her, you'll be thinking about how much she has lost for taking advantage of you."

He finally gets up to face you, wiping away his hot tears that just keep on coming. "It's not her I'm thinking of," he seethes with anger, gritting his teeth. "She lost all my respect the minute I found out she cheated."

"Then what are you upset about?" you ask him quietly. He's still wrapped in your arms, and even in all this agony you can't help but marvel at his beauty; from his chiselled cheekbones,  his kissable lips and his adorable cheeks, red and stained from crying; and of course, the alluring brown eyes that you fell in love with.

"I don't know, what about the fact that my last three relationships all ended up in flames?" Mark laughs mirthlessly, and you almost flinch at his harsh tone. The usual laugh lines on his face are now replaced with lines of fury, the endless tears still running down his face. "I'm just going to accept that no one will ever love me like that."

That could not be further from the truth.

"How in the world could you say that?" you silently fume, your sorrow now turning into indignation. "That's not true at all!"

"How would you know?" he asks bitterly, glaring at the ground.

"Because..."

"Because what?"

"Be-because... because I love you, Mark! I've been in love you for the longest time! You're the most amazing person I know! You're this funny, handsome, compassionate, inspiring, generous, charming and honest guy and anyone would be lucky to call you theirs. If no one can see what an incredible human being you are, then they're either blind or just plain stupid," you finally snap, the words flowing out of your mouth and you're unable to stop them. You could no longer stand to see the man of your dreams beat himself up for something that was no way his fault.

You, however, do not realise the confession that had slipped along with the long speech you had given until you see the shock that's written on his face. Mark's eyes are wide open in amazement as he was obviously not expecting a declaration of love for him from his best friend while he's wrapped in your arms, right there on his couch.

Your heart beats so loud you're almost positive Mark could also hear it. You didn't want it to happen like this. You had not imagined it to happen like this. As cheesy as it sounds, you'd imagined for the both of you to affirm your love for each other in the rain, in each other's arms after a magical and miraculous epiphany but never like this. God, what have you done?

His expression is now unreadable, and you know you've messed up. You have to fix this. You have to tell him that your feelings shouldn't and wouldn't change anything. You have to tell him that he shouldn't look at you any different from now on. So you begin, "Mark..."

But you never finish what you're about to say because the next thing you know is the feeling of Mark's lips on yours, kissing you so hard as if there's no tomorrow; so hard that you could feel it in your bones. You feel his hands move to your waist, rubbing your sides softly. The taste of his lips are a mix of his salty tears and honey, and the butterflies in your stomach sends you into a state of euphoria that you never want to come down from.

"Mark," you struggle to say, loud breaths leaving your mouth when he finally pulls away from you. Your hands grip his shoulders tightly in disbelief of what just happened. Your best friend just gave you the best kiss of your life, right here in his living room. "W-what are you doing?"

He stares at you with his beautiful doe eyes, full of anguish. His chest rises and falls as he puffs out short and quick breaths. "What I should have done a long time ago," he breathes, his right hand going up to cup your cheek.

"But..." you sigh almost dreamily, still a little dazed from the mind-blowing kiss he'd just given you. You're hesitant, though. Yes, you've been in love with him since forever and you want nothing more than for him to take you right then and there, but you're not going to be a mere distraction from his heartache. You deserve far better than that. "You're not only using me as a rebound, are you?"

"No," Mark says earnestly, and you search for any revealing signs to indicate that he's lying, but deep down you know he's telling the truth. "I am fully over anyone from my past. I promise."

You believe him, so you wrap your arms around his neck and connect your lips back together for another kiss. This time it's sweet, gentle and chaste, and your body tingles all over when you feel his hands on your hips and his smile against your lips.

"Can we take things slow?" you ask him softly as your foreheads press together, both of you breathless even from just a short kiss.

"Just as long as you stay the night," he replies with a smile, the first you've seen since you got here. Your heart melts, as it always does when you see his signature smile.

"Deal," you respond cheekily, a grin creeping onto your face. It won't be the first time for you to stay over at his place, but it's the first time you know it'll be different.

Mark beams at your answer, and then asks, "You're not sleepy yet, are you? I was thinking we could watch something first before we go to bed."

But you never do get to the bed as you fall asleep in each other's arms on his sofa, content with each other's presence as you look forward to the next day.

author’s note:

i’m back with another angst shot, yay! i swear i can write pure fluff, but i just love angst so much lol. anyways, sorry if the ending seemed a bit rushed. hope you like it!

also, staying the night is definitely not "taking it slow" LMAOOO

#nct angst #mark angst #nct imagine #nct scenario #mark lee angst #nct fluff #mark fluff #nct fic #mark fic #nct #nct u #nct 127 #mine #writing #soulmate #*

[kyberphilosopher]

Chapter Seventeen

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

“You know, some members of the crew were starting to think you weren’t coming back,” Adamus says. He leans against one of the pillars on the ramp, arms crossed as he watches me come closer. His brown locks move slightly with the wind, his cheeks tinged with pink from the cold. It’s then that I’m able to gage out how long his hair actually is. Not terribly, but it may reach his shoulders when wet. Regardless, Adamus is unphased by the cold. He does not shiver, nor buckle.

Yes, I decided to come back. I can’t explain why. One minute, I was watching my golden saber dance, trying to choke back the realization that I’d never be able to lose my memory of the Clone now. But then I’d clipped it to my belt and walked out the door.

“But you didn’t?” I challenge, watching his eyes that are focused on the distance. My new lightsaber hits against my hip with each step, the weight lighter than I’m used to.

The snow seems to calm and slow as I draw nearer to Adamus, though I’m certain it’s just a trick of my eyes. I’m forced to take in his profile- the sharp jaw, the bright irises, the tufts of soft hair coming to a still.

“Of course not,” he says, turning his head to me. There they are- those forever color changing eyes. So bright and piercing, even from my distance. His hair is dusted with snow and the climate has made a few light freckles more noticeable against his skin. “Get a new toy?” He nudges his head to the lightsaber on my hip.

Out of reflex, my gaze drops to his own saber. It hangs against his right thigh, heavy and smooth. I detach my own, running my eyes over the smooth metal. Truly my best work. I toss it into the air lightly before catching it, meeting Adamus’s eyes with a little smirk.

He stands up straight, rolls his eyes, and unfolds his arms. “Come on, we’d better talk now before you change your mind about coming back.”

As soon as the door shuts behind us, I am enveloped in the red arms of Aheka. “Keres!” she cries, nearly knocking me over. Her skin feels hot and smells like medicine and flowers. Adamus stops his strut in front of me to turn around and witness the scene.

This is a hug. We’re hugging. Do something with your arms Keres! Should I hug her back? No, no stop! That looks weird, Keres!

“I was worried you weren’t going to come back. You were gone for over nineteen rotations.”

Nineteen rotations? I was gone for a whole night? I must’ve been lying on the floor of that cave for longer than I’d thought.

But for the record Aheka, I wasn’t going to come back.

To the left, leaning against the arch that acts as the entranceway to the cockpit-nook, Circe smirks. I shoot him a look of asking for help, to which he responds with a shrug. Adamus clears his throat to mask the chuckle threatening to escape his lips. “Aheka…”

The Togruta pulls away from me, hands still holding my shoulders. “Try not to scare people like that again, alright?”

And then, for a moment, the unthinkable happens. I’m glad I came back too. I’m glad I’m seeing Aheka again, who’s been nothing but kind and charitable to me from the moment she met me. I normally hate good people, but it’s really difficult to do that with her. Instead of saying any of that, I just swallow dryly and nod. She leaves to go talk to a man with a clipboard and a medical uniform.

“What she said, kiddo,” Circe says. I raise my eyebrow playfully while Adamus raises his in pure question. “Hey, two Jedi are better than one.”

“I’m-”

“Not a Jedi. I know.” I let out a small smile as I watch one graze his lips as well. It reminds me so much of the rare moments of purity I had with Mur. When it was just him and I, and I would become frustrated with repairs and he would tell me to just breathe. Or when he would sarcastically congratulate me for not blowing up the ship when it was my turn to cook. Circe offers me a wink before going back to collapsing in his pilot chair.

When I turn back to Adamus, his intelligent eyes tell me he’s making a wild assumption about me that just might be true. Regardless, he nods his head as his way of telling me to follow him. I am stiff and still at first, still on my guard.

He leads me through one of the doors on the other side of the control room I haven’t been through before, then down a hallway and to the right. I just keep my eyes trained on his back, suddenly hyper aware that I’m still wearing his jacket. I shift in it uncomfortably, ready to become hot.

Adumus enters a door that leads to a room with a giant window and a few tables. Through the window, a few people train in hand to hand combat and one with a staff. I perk up at the thought of being able to train- the only problem would be remembering how to get here.

Adamus gestures to a table in the corner, which I slide into easily. He takes the seat across from me, neither of us daring to break eye contact.

I am not talking first.

Adamus stays silent, his eyes flickering between my own. “What did Circe mean when he said you weren’t a Jedi?”

I’m taken back, but I refer to let it show. “You know there are way more interesting things in the galaxy to talk about than me.”

“Not to me, there isn’t.”

I’m taken back even more, now. His words are romantic, even though we both know that’s not at all what he meant. Adamus senses his mistake too, leaning back as his eyes widen ever so slightly. Neither of us dare to apologize, because that would make it a reality.

I play with my thumbs under the table, debating my response. “You’re clearly a Jedi. What’s so difficult to understand about someone not being a Jedi?”

“The fact that that would make them a Sith.”

“Not if I’m not a Sith, either. Which I am not.”

Silence. One, two, three seconds go by in silence.

“Hey, how about we play a game?” Adamus suggests, leaning forward in confidence again. I shift in my chair and raise an eyebrow, urging him to continue. “For every question you answer truthfully, you get to ask me a question in turn.”

Oh, this will surely backfire on me. He’s planning something- he’s not stupid enough not to. He’s forcing me into a corner. But, I could use this to an advantage. “I accept.”

Adamus’s fingers drum against the table one at a time. His fingers are long and slender like mine, half covered by fingerless gloves. Unlike mine, however, his hands are large and could fit over mine several times over. “How did you get to Endor?”

“I won a contest.”

Adamus looks at me with a look of disbelief, like he can’t believe I thought I could get away with something. When my face remains unchanging for a few seconds, he sees I’m telling the truth. “What did you just say to me?”

I drum my fingers against my knees under the table. I would only realize later that it was out of nervousness. “I was captured by a group of criminals. While I was with them, they gave me a choice. I just did what I had to do, and they chose the details of my release.” Then I shrug, as if I hadn’t gotten nightmares about the whole thing. “Simple.”

 Adamus squints his eyes slightly, searching for a falsity. He will find none. “And your question for me?”

What’s a good one to ask him?

“Why did you follow me?” I ask lowly, my brows creasing together.

Adamus closes his lips tight, and breathes out. “I saw you by chance. I thought you were a Sith at first.”

"And?”

“You’re not, apparently.” Adamus shifts his shoulders. “So I thought you could be an ally instead.”

I try not to roll my eyes at the boys fantastical fantasies. “But you know I won’t do that, right?”

I watch Adamus smirk. His square shoulders relax a little. “It’s not your turn to ask a question.” Damn him. “So then. You know I have to ask about your name.”

Damn him a second time. A third. A trillion! “Vagor,” I mutter, looking down at my lap.

“Is that your first name, or your secondary?”

"Second. My first name is Keres.”

There’s quiet. Adamus is searching for something in my position again. Then his cheeks scrunch up with dimples, and a calm smile washes over his features again. I need to note these things. Adamus smiles when he thinks he knows something. Aheka swallows when she’s nervous.

“Isn’t that a pretty name,” Adamus quips. Then he narrows his eyes before widening them. “You should really see your face right now.”

Shut up. Shut the kriff up, I think as I grit my teeth silently. I’m already pissed at myself for coming back at all, and now Adamus is trying to push luck by antagonizing me. What’s his deal? More importantly, what’s the question to ask that’ll sort it out for me?

“Your turn then,” the boy reminds me.

I need time. I can’t think of social plans like I can battle strategies. “How long have you been with the… what do you call it? The rebellion?”

“One year, seven months, and four days,” he answers immediately.

So, he’s been keeping track.

“They found me on Nar Shaddaa. It was just a few of them at that point. They wanted me to be the leader,” Adamus explains.

“Did you not want to?”

He shifts in his seat, thinking of the words. “I don’t know. Probably not.”

My brain starts to memorize all the details of Adamus’s face right then and there. I can still hear the pitch of his voice in my skull. It’s smooth and crisp. Not terribly deep but nowhere close to high pitched. He still feels strong to me. But I suppose he still feels soft too. A little more charismatic, but it feels more like something he had to learn through diplomacy than a natural trait. Not that I mind.

“Were you very young then?”

Adamus breathes in, thinking. “Not really.”

Now my brain is trying to determine his age. Adamus can’t be more than twenty years of age. I can feel that fact in my gut. But he seems older than me. I can tell from the way he thinks and carries himself. He feels somewhat mature.

“So if you’re not a Sith, then where’d you get the lightsaber? Steal it?”

Yes.

"No. I found it on a body. It was blue when I got there.”

Which isn’t a total lie. I did find it on a body (of a Jedi I killed), and it was blue (before I turned it red). I’m remaining truthful.

“How did it turn red?” Adamus asks with creased brows. They’re knitted in such a way that suggests true confusion, not a false mockery of the feeling.

And, because I’m truthful as ever, I tell him. “I don’t know. One minute it was blue in my hand, the next it was turning red. I couldn’t tell you what happened.”

Silence. The boy is thinking again. “You made the crystal bleed,” Adamus states factually. My eyebrows knit together, just as his did a moment ago, in the way that encourages him to go on. It’s genuine confusion too, which angers me to admit to myself. It feels like I’m conceding defeat to my enemy.

No, I can’t call him an enemy anymore. Ever since I decided to come back from Ilum, I signed a contract. This contract says that I’ve willingly made myself allies. Voluntarily. All on my own. I can’t complain much about it if I chose it. Still, it’s hard not to see Adamus as an enemy. Any kind of radical organization puts me on edge.

“Every lightsaber is powered by a crystal. I think you know that, Vagor. Sith, and you, I guess, are able to make the crystals bleed and turn red. You learn about it as a Jedi. My only question is, how’d you do it?”

“What do you mean by that?” I question in return.

“You made your lightsaber crystal bleed, but how?”

Should I tell him the truth? If I do, he’ll place me under further speculation. I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole ship voted to put me under surveillance. I might be signing a death warrant just by vocalizing just how much rage and guilt I’m able to possess. I have to lie.

"I don’t know,” I say with a steady tone. “I didn’t mean to. I was just holding the saber, and it changed. I remember the world very calm, though.”

“Are you sure?”

Can he… see through my lie? No, I’m too practiced in the art for even a Jedi to see through it that fast. “Yes, I’m sure.”

Adamus’s eyes tells me he’s not completely convinced, but he knows there’s nothing more he can do about it. I’ve got him caught in a web of social constructs spun by himself.

“So then, Vagor,” he speaks. “Where were you born?”

It wasn’t his turn to ask a question, but I let him anyway. I shrug, and tell the truth. “I don’t know.”

At once, his eyebrows set themselves lower in disbelief and confusion. “You don’t know? How would you not know where you’re from?”

I shrug again. “I stayed on Coruscant for a while. Then Ilum, then Bracca. I don’t know where I was born.”

“Right.”

Ah, what question to ask him. Adamus, you clever minx. You know you need this information out of me, and you know I need to know about you. You’re backing me into a corner that relies on give and take. It seems a simple little conversation, but in reality, he has thought it through. Good to know.

I decide to play it safe. “Where are you from then?”

“Mandalore,” he says flatly.

I haven’t heard much about Mandalore. At least, I haven’t heard much good about Mandalore. It’s beautiful, but certainly attracted a lot of attention during the Wars. Sometimes I could swear I could hear a calling from that place, like someone was reaching out to me for something. But, even if I had wanted to go, I wouldn’t have had a ride anyway. “Did you like it?” I ask instead.

“It’s not your turn to ask a question. So tell me- what were you doing for all those years alone? You weren’t a Jedi or a padawan, and apparently you weren’t a Sith. So what was it?”

There’s a small flame of anger sparking in the pit of my stomach. I have the urge to tell Adamus to eat Bantha dung and kill him, but that’s not in the cards. “Hunter,” I tell him blandly.

“Mm,” he hums. “No, I don’t buy it. What else were you doing?”

“Nothing.”

“No family? Friends? At least your parents were with you, right?”

Maker, no need to rub it in.

It’s a fair assumption that I would be reliant on at least one other person in my youth. I would’ve had to have been to learn how to read and write and speak and operate. But I don’t remember anyone of the sort. I can kind of imagine my father, if I try hard enough. I have no clues on my mother. I’d never considered siblings before, but I don’t have any memories of them either. No friends. I’ve never liked people all that much anyway.

A flash of realization and another feeling I can’t name runs through Adamus’s eyes. Shock? Betrayal? Pity? All of the above?

I lean forward quickly, staring deep into his eyes daringly. I want to piss him off just as much. I want to see the exact moment he snaps. “No. I was alone.”

Adamus swallows dryly, guilt lacing his features as he responds. “So were you there during the Purge.” His voice has become low and his eyes have completely pierced mine.

The one with the yellow striped helmet.

“Yes,” I say, my voice coming out hoarser than I’d expected. “I was there.”

“Were you very young?”

“Yes.” I was thirteen. I’d wanted to go out and gather some food. I killed someone for the first time that day. I have a scar on my left harm from a blaster shot. The one who gave it to me had a yellow striped helmet.

“And I should’ve died,” I confess.

Adamus swallows. “I-”

He begins but doesn’t finish. A man in a vest with flushed skin and a smock bursts through the door, chest heaving for air. “Sir!”

Adamus tears his eyes away from mine with a jump. “We’re receiving a transmission from someone named Brendul Hux. He’s asked to speak to you, sir.”

Adamus’s shoulders relax as I watch him gather his breath and his thoughts. “I’ll be right there,” he says, a little less commanding than normal. The man murmurs a ‘yes sir’ and shuts the door behind him.

I don’t know where to go from here. It feels unnatural to just begin speaking again. We’d been so caught up in ourselves and each other, we’d forgotten the environment around us. Was this his intention?

“My name is Acer,” he begins to say as he stands up. His broad shoulders rise into the air with his stocky build. Up close like this, I can see he has a body was made for sports. “Acer Adamus.”

“Hello Acer,” I mumble so only the Jedi can hear. He does hear.

“Hello, Vagor,” he replies in kind. Then he leaves me after a minute of staring.  

I do wonder why he lied about his name, but I understand it deep down. There are few reasons why someone would lie about that- because they are on the run, because they hate their name, or because there is a bad memory associated with it. I suspect it to be the latter. All in all, I’m glad I talked to Adamus- Acer- more. I will most likely be stuck with him for the long haul now, so it would prove favorable to know what kind of person I’m dealing with.

Calm, level-headed. Respected by everyone here as far as I can tell. He was a Jedi padawan, so he probably never knew his family. Adamus must be trained in the ways of the force and lightsaber combat then. He was kind enough to give me his jacket… which I’m still wearing. He’s smart enough to understand that he has to know who I am in order to trust me. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll decide to hate him a little less. No. He’s still a captor. I don’t trust him anymore than I did before.

The winding hallways aren’t as confusing as I thought initially, I just wasn’t paying attention. I get back to the control room soon enough, although it’s mostly empty by now. There are a few people cluttered around the holotable, but from what I can see they’re all tired and on the verge of yawning. Without realizing, I look for Aheka. Seeing her horned form nowhere in sight, I proceed to make my way to the cockpit instead.  

Circe turns in his chair to look at me. His Mandalorian helmet is on his head this time, but he quickly removes it to reveal a charismatic look. “It’s you. How are you, not-Jedi?” He flips a little switch on the right side of the console and leans back in his chair expectantly. In that moment, I think he may just remind me of Kip more than Mur.

I roll my eyes without commanding myself to do so and nudge my finger to the helmet. “Aren’t they never supposed to take off their helmets?”

“Beats me,” Circe shrugs. “If you’re so curious, you could ask Adamus. Kid was born there.”

Yeah, Circe, I know. “Are you the pilot?”

“The one and only,” he chuckles lightly. “Turns out nobody else here can fly. Well, I mean Adamus can, but he gets sick. I’ve been trying to train some of the troops but there’s not a whole lot of volunteers.”

I try not to chuckle at the thought of Adamus in a cockpit, head woozy as he tries to contain his vomit. “I can fly,” I say to him. “I’ve flown a tie-fighter and a few gunships. Nothing as fancy as this though.”

Circe’s eyebrows shoot up in interest. “Seriously? What were you doing with those?”

“Stealing,” I retort, bounding over to the other pilots chair. There are a few buttons I recognize on the console, but this definitely isn’t the same as a tie-fighter or Mur’s ship. This is a whole different model, whole different make. Circe sees my confusion and offers up his voice.

“You know,” he sees, wagging his finger. “It’s weird to picture you stealing. But you must be a damn good pilot to fly a tie-fighter. What the hell? I’ll teach you how to handle this bad boy. Don’t worry, not right now.”

A grateful smile tugs at the corners of my lips. “Thanks,” I say slowly. Circe is the only person on this ship who reminds me of something from my past. He reminds me of Mur and smuggling and rough activity. He reminds me of irony and sarcasm and smooth sailing. I’m grateful for it, even though he doesn’t realize what his affect is. I dare not tell him, though. That’s just not in my nature.

“You know, when I was little, I wanted to be like the Jedi so badly,” Circe says, putting his chin his hand. “I just wanted them to take me from where I was born and make me just as strong and glorified as they were. I was born on Nal Hutta, ya see.”

I nod my head in understanding, genuinely listening to his story.

“Eventually I got old enough to realize that they weren’t going to accept me anymore, but I still had hope. Then, one day, they come strutting down the street. Clearly they don’t belong here, I thought. So I gave them advice from the local street rat’s point of view. They thanked me for the help, and I felt like hot bantha dung. Really! Later that week, they arrested my father’s boss and my father with him. But my dad was sick, ya see. They decided to take him to jail anyway, even though they knew he would die if he went with ‘em.”

Cold. Unsurprising, and cold.

“My mother abandoned me not long after that. All thanks to the Jedi, of course.”

I lean forward, ready to lay my thoughts out for the first time. “Every action has a reaction. So how many innocents have they killed or harmed or dragged into conflict under the guise of peace?” My voice trails off into a whisper. “How many people have they abandoned, how much information have they missed? Hero is such a subjective word. I hate it.”

Circe watches me with thoughtful eyes. “They did something to you, didn’t they?”

“That wasn’t really the issue,” I admit. “I was born somewhere they couldn’t be bothered to go to, so they never took me in.” My hands ball into fists at the arms of the chair, displaying my resentment. I’ve never been so emotional or expressive, to be honest. I’m not totally sure how I feel about it. Confused, probably, on top of the anger and sadness. “If they had, maybe my life would’ve been different.”

Circe is quiet only for a second before speaking. “You know, the good part about growing up, is that your life is going to be different anyway. I mean, look at where we are. We were going to be here one way or another. Now we’re just here as ourselves. Maybe that’s the only way we should be here.”  

My brain hums in annoyance- my bodies was of saying ‘enough with the doom and gloom already’. “No need to get so sentimental,” I tease. “Especially with a man of your age.” Luckily, Circe understands my humor quickly and matches me.

Circe mockingly places his palm to his chest, feigning offense. “A man of my age!”

I smile, watching his playful display of pretending to faint as hyperspace whizzes by. Even when he shoos me away to go to bed, I’m suppressing a loud chuckle. My heart doesn’t feel so heavy in my chest as I laugh, and I know this is where my heart truly lies. It lies in the world of humor and laughter and sarcasm. Circe knows that. I like him for it.

By the time I enter my room, everyone at the holotable has cleared out. Exhaustion rests comfortably on my eyes as I think about snuggling under a blanket. I almost consider taking a shower before snapping back to my senses. Wiping my face clean of any signs of joy, I watch it return a few seconds later in the mirror.

Oh, whatever. I enjoy Circe’s personality. I’ll just let myself be as relaxed as I can be, just this once. Just like the last time I was relaxed. Back on Takodana with Talik and Kip and Jarvers. They gave me that terrible drink before Mur came over and suggested a scavenging job. I feel just as happy as I did then, if I was happy at all.

Sighing, I put my head on a little pillow and drape a blue, rough blanket over top of me. I don’t even bother to change my clothes, instead tugging Adamus’s jacket closer without realizing it. It smells like him- how didn’t I notice it before? It smells like the earth and heat and work, but not sweat.  

My eyes shoot open when I hear the soft knocks on my door. I jump out of bed, hand wrapping around the new lightsaber still dangling on my hip. I rip Adamus’s jacket off me, eyebrows furrowed together in aggression. Nobody I’ve encountered at night has wanted to do something non aggressive with me. I’m ready for this.

“Keres!”

Wait a minute. That’s not the voice of someone particularly cruel or vile coming to attack me. In fact, it sounds a lot like Adamus, whisper shouting through the door.

The person knocks again, a little louder. “Keres!”

Eyes squinting tiredly and annoyingly, I shuffle towards the door, unlock it and turn on the lights. The door zips open to reveal Adamus looming over me. He’s not menacing, just taller than me by kind of a lot. His soft brown hair is a little roughed up, and tired circles hang under his eyes. I can see the faded orbs as a sign of how he is in terms of sleep.

“What are you doing here?” I say, rubbing my eyes with a hum of anger. I’m peeved he’s decided to interrupt my sleep.

“The game,” he says, tone urgent. “We didn’t finish the game.”

"What?”

Adamus rolls his eyes and pushes past me, observing his jacket on the floor and the tray that Aheka previously left for me. Sitting on the bench I’ve been calling a bed, his hands ball and un-ball in fists. “Please sit, Vagor. I’m not finished with you until I say so.”

He’d cry later that night.

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fandom #star wars story #jedi #gray jedi #grayjedi #rebellion #lightsaber

[misskassiepierce]

Prequel Apple Pie (AU) Drabble

It was no one’s fault. Things happen; sometimes bad things to good people. It was just the way it was.

Was it fair? No. But you learn fairly early on that life is hardly fair. You just needed to accept that. At least, that’s what the young, dark-haired witch kept telling herself. Really, she was lucky, considering. This was just the universe’s way of correcting the natural balance. But did Dean really have to suffer because of it? He didn’t deserve to die that way. Nor did Sam and Ry deserve the giant hole left in their lives due to his absence. Sam had lost his older brother and best friend, while Ry had lost her greatest love and, well, the father of her unborn child. That, she thought, was the worst element to this entirely devastating calamity. Dean had died before Ry even knew she was pregnant and forever lost the chance to tell him. Kassie couldn’t even begin to imagine how hard that must be on her, or how it will be for the kid to never know their dad. They’ll be told stories of how brave and heroic he was, how he essentially saved them by taking the hit himself, but it’ll never be the same to actually having him around. She sighed, frowning. She might almost pity them if she didn’t see what was already unfolding right before her eyes.

For about a month or so now, she had watched both Sam and Ry mourn their loss, and while she tried her best to be there, at least for Sam since she and Ry weren’t really that close, she had started to sense that her presence wasn’t helping. In fact, she wasn’t sure if she was even leaving the slightest of impacts. Sam barely noticed whether she was there or not, either too depressed to escape his own head or was fretting over Ry and making sure she and the baby were okay, which left the foreign woman on the outside looking in.

As they slowly but surely began drifting apart, it came to her attention that both he and Ry had each other to lean on, to fully understand the pain they were going through, that there was no need, or room, for anyone else. She was just wasting her time there.

Whatever she and Sam had once held was nothing more than a diminishing shell anymore. Something she had foreseen honestly, as she knew they would never last. Love just wasn’t…meant for her. Not like what they had briefly shared. And it was painfully obvious that she could never amount to anything he actually needed. Truthfully, he would be better off without her in his life.

Her time on this earth was coming to an end anyway, or at least will be in less than a decade, thanks to the deal she had made that earmarked her soul for Hell. She still didn’t regret her decision, it made what she was about to do easier, but— No. No ‘but’s. Even if she hadn’t sold her soul, it wouldn’t have changed anything. She would still be broken and irreparable, useless and undesirable. No, this was the right choice to make. It was better for everyone involved. Even the child, who, without her getting in the way, would now have a father to look after and love them just as if they were his own. Kassie knew that. Not just because the kid was Dean’s and he felt a duty to step into that role, but because Sam would want to. She had seen it, that desire, as he so tenderly cared for Ry and the gift she carried inside her, making sure they were both healthy and nourished. She couldn’t stand in the way of that.

With all this floating through her head for about a week now, she had finally worked up the courage to go through with it. Thankfully, it didn’t hurt as much as she was sure it would have if she could still feel the full range of her emotions, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t been at war with herself over it. She by no chance wanted to lose him but had convinced herself that she would have eventually. At least this way he wouldn’t be able to break her heart; she would do that herself.

Bracing herself at the door of the Bunker, Kassie took a moment handling the key, knowing that when she left here things would be different. She would never again come back and this part of her life would come to a close. It was a strange, stomach-churning kind of feeling to be standing at the precipice of it all, but after the moment ended, she took the plunge.

The woman had to search for the others, but eventually she found them in Dean’s room. Or…what used to be. Sam was trying to coax Ry to come out, insisting that she needed to be walking around at least for the baby’s sake, but it seemed like she wouldn’t hear it. Kassie stood just outside the cracked-open door, watching as the woman cried silently onto Dean’s pillow before she turned away. That private moment did not need her intrusion, like most of the moments that happened lately.

She wound up in Sam’s room as she waited, seating herself on the edge of his bed. Her stomach was in knots by this point, while a voice in the back of her head told her that it wasn’t too late, that she didn’t have to do this, but she chose not to waver. Her mind was made up, and there was just no point in trying to escape it.

Eventually, Sam made his way into his room, having given up with Ry only to find himself face-to-face with another woman. He jumped slightly, not expecting to see her there in the dark and alone, and hurried to wipe at his teary eyes. “Kass… What—what are you doin’ here?”

Kassie rose from his bed in one fluid motion and with a chin held high, she spoke. “We need to talk.”

It was such a cliché, but it was the truth.

Sam nodded, swallowing. “Yeah. Okay.” He came further into the room before sitting down on a chair he kept off to the side. “What’s up?”

He looked so defeated and hurt, like a beaten puppy you just wanted to hold and love and whisper to that everything was going to be okay—but she could do none of that. Not anymore. Instead, she sank back down and re-positioned herself on the bed, facing him. She tried swallowing, failing at finding the words even though she had run this scene over and over in her head about a thousand times. “I’m…leaving.”

Even though confusion blossomed onto his face, his gut told him that he knew exactly where she was headed with this. He just didn’t want to believe it. “Leaving? I’m not sure I follow.”

Kassie decided on a different approach, a clearer one. “I met someone else…Sam.” Their gazes locked, but she made sure her expression didn’t expose her lie. “His name is— Well, it doesn’t matter what his name is. What matters is that I’m leaving. And I had to—“

“You’re leaving me…you mean,” Sam cut her off, a mixture of bitterness and even more hurt entering his tone. “You’re leaving me for someone else…” He licked his lips before pulling his bottom one under his teeth, nodding as the information settled. “Well…you’ve picked a hell of a time to dump me, I’ll give you that.”

“Sam, I…” Merlin, it was killing her that she was only adding to his pain, but she knew he would get over her. After all, what was losing her compared to losing his brother? Nothing. “I don’t like the thought of hurting you, but I knew that if I drew things out, waited, that it would only make matters worse. I wanted to be honest with you…”

His jaw clamped as he swallowed at the knot in his throat before looking at her with a hardened gaze. “Well, mission accomplished, congratulations. I hope the two of you will be very happy together.”

He was being curt and his words stung, honestly, but he was well within his right. “I’m sorry. But I know you’ll see that this is what’s best… For everyone.”

A fire lit behind his eyes, obviously triggered by what she had said. “No. You don’t get to say that. You don’t know anything if you think this is what’s best. I love you, Kass. I know you don’t believe me, but I do. And if that’s not good enough for you— then maybe you’re right. You should leave. I hope that poor sucker can make you happy since I obviously can’t.”

Her placid mask finally broke as Sam’s words hit like a wrecking ball, making her to look away. It wasn’t so much that they hurt her than it was seeing the heartache she was causing him. He did make her happy, which honestly said a lot, since not much did anymore, but if that’s how he needed to see things then so be it. “H-he does…” she whispered, sticking with her lie even though she just wanted to cry. “He wants to show me the world… Have me experience what life has to offer.”

“Kass—“ He closed his eyes tightly. “Do me a favor? Spare me the details.” The last thing he needed right now was to start comparing himself against this unnamed man who was currently in the process of tearing his already-damaged heart from his chest.

“Sorry…” She had added to the lie for a purpose: to let him know that there was no chance that she would come back, so he could have complete closure and wouldn’t be left wondering. He would be able to forget about her quickly.

“Yeah. You mentioned that.” He reopened his eyes but refused to look at her, starting to feel the full range of emotions that accompanied a breakup.

“I don’t know what else to say…” It bothered her more than it should when he avoided looking at her, but she knew she had to stay strong just a little longer.

“I think you’ve said all you needed to.”

“O-okay,” she whispered before finally rising from her seat and began walking towards the door. As she passed him, however, she hesitated. She so very much wanted to reach out for him, even if it was only to touch him one last time, but she didn’t, knowing that he would probably flinch away and that would hurt almost as much as this whole ordeal. “Bye, Sam… I hope you find peace.” And with that, she was gone.

#alwaysaweapon #This AU is my favorite #As it just is doused in angst #So glad I stole the idea from a fanfic lol #au ; apple pie #apple pie prequel #drabble

[carelessgraces]

@riftdreams said: ❛ I have no right to inquire into your feelings. They concern only your conscience. ❜ ( from blackwall )

ANNA KARENINA SENTENCE STARTERS ( ACCEPTING )

She has changed, since that walk through the snow, alone, waiting for the Maker himself to pluck her out of existence and fling her into nothingness. Something in her has changed. Astoria clears her throat as she takes the offered hand, pulling herself up, bending forward under the pretense of gathering her weapons when she simply can’t bear to meet anyone’s eyes for the moment. ( She is angry. She is guilty. There Corypheus stood, so close to her that she can still smell the stench of rot and taint that hung around him, and she didn’t run him through, didn’t strike his head from his shoulders. ) After a moment she stands upright, face impassive, blades raised.

     “Again,” she instructs. Blackwall looks at her uncertainly – he’d knocked her down with ease, and there’s blood in her teeth from biting down on her cheek when she’d fallen. ( She was weak, and she needs to be better – but she was foolish, and she needs to serve penance. ) “Come, now, Warden,” she continues, and she flashes him a smile, wicked and bright, that doesn’t meet her eyes. “Have I tired you out?”

     It’s the wrong thing to say. “Yes.” An obvious lie, but he must be tired of this – this training is a thin guise for her punishing herself for her failure. He sheaths his sword again, rolling his shoulders back and looking at her, a little curious, a little uneasy. “I would prefer that we stopped. I’d like to catch my breath.” 

     She doesn’t push. If anything, she’s grateful; at least someone is keeping an eye on her well being, even if it isn’t Astoria herself. She turns her head and spits the blood out of her mouth, watching with grim satisfaction as the red stain in the snow sinks deeper and deeper. “You don’t need to be quite so careful with me,” she tells him, but it’s undercut by the heaviness of her breathing and the redness of her face. “I’m not quite as breakable as I look.”

     “Ah, but you’re the Herald.” There’s a tired twist of his lips – not quite a smile, but close. “Any amount of breakability is cause for concern.”

     She watches him curiously as she brushes the snow from her trousers and coat. She’s not quite sure what to make of him. He’s been a valuable asset, and kinder than she thinks he has any reason to be, but she’s never quite sure how to get a read on him, or if it’s possible at all. At least they’d moved a fair distance from the camp when she said she wanted to train – they can have some measure of privacy as they speak.

     “Do you think me very breakable? Or concerning?” she asks, and he raises his eyebrows, surprised by the question. “Don’t worry. I won’t be offended if the answer is yes.”

     “You’re built and trained for a different kind of combat,” he says simply, and for a moment, his expression softens, just a bit. “You’d have made a good Warden.”

     It’s intended as a compliment, and that’s how she takes it. ( She liked Wren, and Alistair, holds them both in high regard. She’s had a weakness for Wardens ever since. She thinks it’s why she’s predisposed towards fondness for him. ) “Very diplomatic answer, that. You’d have made a good politician.”

     And he laughs, a deep, rich chuckle, before he moves to sit on a felled tree beside them. “If you’re ever bored with being a princess,” he tells her with feigned solemnity, “we’ll trade for a day or two.”

     She doesn’t think she’s heard him laugh before. ( It’s a nice sound. ) “You look like you’re not saying something you want to say. You’ve looked like it all day. I’m too tired to keep up any pretenses and I’m too achy to be properly stoic, so if you want an honest answer out of me, now’s the time to ask.”

     Corypheus alive. Too many of these soldiers – her soldiers – dead. Too many civilians dead. Blackwall watches, expression guarded, as she sits beside him and stretches her arms above her head, but he doesn’t say a word.

     “Go on, then. You can’t possibly ask something I haven’t been asked a thousand times.” How are you feeling, Lady Astoria? Are you terribly injured, Lady Astoria? How could you let him leave there alive, Lady Astoria? 

     “I have no right to inquire into your feelings.” Here’s another reason she likes him – he appreciates the value of privacy. She gets so little of that, now. “They concern only your conscience.”

     “Nonsense. You’re one of my men. You’re one of my companions – you go into war beside me, you stand at my back and trust me to stand at yours. I’ll smile and keep secrets from them because it’s necessary that they see me as unbreakable – ” She gestures toward their camp, and she shrugs one shoulder. “ – but to you, and the others, I have no right to keep secrets.”

     For a moment, a shadow seems to pass over his face – then, nothing. “Alright, then,” he says, and it sounds more as if he’s following orders than that he has any business asking. And she’s not sure what, exactly, she’s expecting – are you hurt, are you sad, are you angry, perhaps, but not what follows. “Do you feel guilty that you didn’t die? In the explosion, and then again, in Haven – you escaped both times, and living is more complicated than survival.”

     Astoria hesitates for a long moment before answering. She’s not sure if she’s ready to be perfectly honest about that. Finally, she speaks. “Every moment of every day,” she says smoothly, but she can’t quite meet his eyes and her cheeks are burning red and she chews on her lip until she tastes fresh blood. “If the Maker is choosing me for something, I’m constantly afraid that He’s chosen wrong, and if He hasn’t, then I cannot fathom why I’m still here.”

     And then, voice lowered as though she’s afraid even of him hearing, she adds, “I don’t know what frightens me more, to tell the truth of it – that the Maker has chosen me, and I’m failing Him, or that He hasn’t. I am a woman of faith, Warden. The thought of being singled out by the Maker or His Bride is as terrifying as the thought of being overlooked.” She hesitates, then slants him a crooked grin; it seems she really is too tired to lie.

     He looks surprised – and impressed – by her answer, by the discomfort in it. She wonders if Clarel is so honest with her soldiers, wonders if she’s making a mistake. ( Somehow, she doubts that she is. There is something comforting in telling him. There is something comforting in being heard, being known. ) 

     “When I was very young, before my grandfather had decided to make me his heir, he told me that to rule a people meant to give up my life to them – and that meant that I had to be prepared to die for them, at any moment, because my life wasn’t my own. And all I could hear, when I was getting away from Corypheus, was my grandfather in my ear, and he was so disappointed in me. And I know he wouldn’t be – there was nothing else I could have done, and if this damned thing in my hand can actually do some good, then I need to keep moving – but I can’t stop thinking about that, when I think about the death at Haven. I’m having a harder time with that than the Divine’s death, truthfully. If she had any right to lead anyone, she would have been proud to die in service to them, but the civilians – I failed them. I think there’s something very wrong in me being here when they’re not. I don’t know if I’m fit to be anyone’s Herald, in this state.”

     Astoria presses her hands to her knees and stares intently at the snow ahead of her; after a beat, she looks back to Blackwall. He’s watching her, eyes unreadable, and after a moment he reaches towards her, brushes his thumb along the curve of her lower lip. It comes away bloody. “I think you’re very fit,” he tells her after a beat, voice gruff. “I think the fact that you ask yourself these questions makes you more fit than most.”

     Her skin burns where he touched her. She tells herself not to think too much about it.

     And Astoria stands, rolls her shoulders back. “Let’s go again,” she says one more time, and this time she’s not thinking about the ways she can hurt. “I want to see if I can’t block you this time around.”

#riftdreams #(idk if this blog is just for wren or if you're putting him on here too BUT) #& I'D BE THE LAST SHRED OF TRUTH IN THE LOST MYTH OF TRUE LOVE. ( answers ) #& FOR REASONS WRETCHED AND DIVINE. ( main timeline: inquisitor ) #tw: dea

[danielxrk]

           ✞ THINK YOU KNOW ME? *    KILL IT       { rap }

he's glad he ended the first half of the day's auditions on guitar; it leaves him in a better mood to face the others during the break, and all things considered, he's happy with how the day has gone so far. he thinks he did well enough at talking through his interview, and that he showed a good side of himself in the special skills portion, it's just the singing portion that he finds questionable. it's not even that he thinks he did poorly, it's just that he doesn't know, he detached so much from this plane of reality during it. he didn't think about his notes; he got lost in what the song meant to him, and thoughts he thought he subdued, clearly not finished with him yet. yet thanks to the guitar, he wasn't worried about it. he could hope it all came off as genuine emotion (which it really was) and that it sold the performance where his vocal talent couldn't.

he practically tackles kenta in a half-hug once he spots him and woojin in the hallway, easily throwing an arm around kenta’s shoulders, and he grins at woojin, too. "you made it," he says, potentially interpreted as not believing it or knowing they would all along. "just a little bit left." he's sure they did better than he did last year, knowing them, and this much is a reminder to himself, too, but for now, he'll enjoy these 20 minutes before they're separated again. he doesn't talk much, in favor of letting kenta babble about whatever he sees fit, and he just listens; he's always been better at that than talking anyway, and the smile that lingers on his face the entire time is genuine. kenta seems excited, unless this is all just nerves. daniel isn't sure which, but he hopes it's the former, and accepts it as such. he also accepts any of the food kenta offers him, and surprisingly isn't hurt to find out sungwoon made a lunch box for kenta and not him. it seems a little petty, but that also seems very sungwoon, and he probably deserved that much up until yesterday; maybe he still does.

in between each of them respectively checking their phones (though does woojin ever really stop checking his phone?) kenta asks how it went for him, and it's funny, because daniel just read the message from sungwoon in the empty enigma group chat asking the same. "it was good!" he chirps, and it's not like that was a lie. "singing portion was..." how does he describe it? "weird?" he chuckles, almost nervous. "not bad, but i think i got too into it. i don't really remember it, like i blocked it all out or something." at least partially true. daniel remembers how he felt during it, though; it's just that he doesn't want to think about it. when he returns to his phone to message back the group chat, he’s met with the incredibly rare, once-in-a-blue-moon woojin message in the empty enigma chat daniel was pretty sure he permanently had on mute. still, he messages similar to what he said back to the group chat: i don't know, it was weird. the interview was fine but do you ever sing and feel like you get transported to another dimension? i finished and was like what 

the time passes too quickly, and he knows he'll miss the company of his friends as soon as he's back in that practice room alone. in the moments before then, he slips in another quick hug for kenta and pats woojin on the back, for once not fearing how he'll react. daniel can handle a little annoyance for how proud he is of them.

once he's corralled back into the room of vocalists, he sees kenta's messages in the empty enigma group chat and sends his own: sungwoon hyung, why didn't you make me lunch too? 😢

he follows it up with a quick addition of just kidding! you've done well, everyone. let's finish this

--

the air has changed since the last time he was in the room, like someone took a vacuum and sucked the energy right out of it. if these vocalists are anything like he was last year, they're not nearly as confident in their other skills, or they may not have prepared anything at all. if the camera were to pan over faces now, there would be some with color drained, some with anxiety in their eyes, and then daniel: peculiarly composed.

it's not that he's really confident in his rapping. his singing is still probably better, given his experience. daniel has only been rapping for no more than three months now, a new avenue of music opened up to him thanks to trc's triple threat challenge. he's been practicing ever since, venturing into hip hop music, and into bands that feature rapping, too, and picking up as much as he can. it's something he keeps mostly to himself, still not comfortable sharing it with anyone else; it's a little embarrassing, something like a guilty pleasure, but that was how empty enigma started out for him, too.

it's just that he feels like he might have an edge here. his rapping isn't so bad-- especially not as bad as it was last year when he stumbled through super bass as his improvised second skill, because at least he knew the words. now, he's well-practiced, and knows he can surpass the voices in this room that are solely vocals, even if it's only this time. well, maybe knows is too generous. he thinks he can. he believes it, and doesn't let his thoughts wander enough to doubt it.

his name seems to come more quickly now. maybe its just that his comfort level has shifted, or maybe the contestants ahead of him have much shorter performances this time around-- likely a mixture of both. either way, he only feels the familiar dip of dread in his stomach a pinch, but ultimately at peace. he might even be a little excited after not rapping for anyone else since his triple threat challenge performance.

the rap he's set to perform is one he found during his delve into the "art of rapping," a side project of a frontman in a band, so he thinks it's fitting for him. the lyrics feel relevant too, and that always helps. his rap is short, an optimistic attempt at quality over quantity, and he doesn't have a backtrack, figuring it's better to let his voice fend for itself than potentially fall out of rhythm with an instrumental. all of that aside, he's prepared something he's surprisingly actually confident in. they give him the signal, and he pulls his hood up over his head to give himself a little extra boost of the right attitude.

no one knows who i am to flip over this gameboard i spit and grind my teeth every day asleep or awake

maybe it isn't true. everyone he performs this in front of might know him from the mgas, and if this makes it to a tv screen, it may reach others that know him from the same, or from empty enigma. he's not a total unknown, but it feels like the truth, too. even with all of this, he still has some mystery-- now more than ever, like a card up his sleeve, still not entirely revealed even now. nobody here knows who he really is. (daniel himself is still figuring that one out. maybe they'll find the answer together.)

i squeeze my own neck, i’m lazy i pick what i want i step on it and like a beagle, i bark

truthfully, these are the lyrics he understands the least. in retrospect, he could've tried his hand at an original rap to flex is lyric writing again, but he's not that confident in it-- especially not confident enough to apply it to rap. he thinks he gets the point, though: it's hard work, and it's desperation, and it's a hunger to prove yourself and be known. daniel feels that too at his core, and it makes it easier to portray, even in an area he's new to.

this is where the original song picks up-- where he has to be intentional not to trip over his own words-- but he's practiced this the most of anything, because he knew it was what he needed the most help in and because it was the most fun (aside from guitar, old faithful as it were.)

wrote these words all night till i heard the birds chirping, playing the trainee secrete! adrenaline ready! with blood sweat

he didn't write these words in particular, but he's known his fair share of sacrificing sleep to write songs in recent months, not out of necessity, but desire. maybe there was some necessity in it too, like a need to pour thoughts and emotions out on a page, freeing them from where they lurked and swirled in his mind-- that release, that freedom, that productivity. daniel never knew his feelings could be useful for something before he started writing songs.

he's not a trainee either-- still doesn't know if he wants to be one --but he knows how to work hard. he knows the feeling of stage lighting and pounding music and the cheer of a crowd, however humble, and he knows the teamwork it takes to make it happen.

the frustration of the criticism he received last season-- of the criticism he received from himself, and knowing it was all justified. he remembers reading one comment in particular that suggested he didn't work as hard as his teammates, and perhaps that stuck with him the most. in the end, he believed even that was true, and it lit a fire in him to not let anyone down any longer, and to be better for this season, leading up to today. he channels all of it into the final lines

i knocked on this frustration all night i can stretch out my back and say, think you know me? kill it

the original doesn't end here, but they aren't lyrics daniel can apply to himself, nor are they ones he'd feel well re-writing, so it is where his audition ends. the silence of the room afterwards is strange, and he can almost feel an echo of his voice moments prior-- an eco of the entire rest of the day. he bows, a bit belatedly, and says, "thank you," voice scratchy, and he clears his throat. it lacks his typical brightness this time, intensity still wearing off, and he lingers a little longer than he should, like there's something more to say or to do.

in the end, he can't think of anything, and sees himself out, a bit awkwardly, though the smile finds itself to his face soon after. he's finished, and today was so much better than the day like it last year, and it's not even over yet. he collides with kenta and woojin, and slings his arms over both of their shoulders, unfamiliar afterglow of a successful audition rendering him entirely carefree.

✉ ⊰🌞 funky lil thots 🌞⊱ ✉ 🙏 🙏 🙏

#rkmga5audition5 #rkkenta #rkxsungwoon #rkpwj #rkmga5 #;solo #;adrenalineready #;ee #( * yes that is the empty enigma gc #i'm emo actually #that was a wild ride but daniel and i had so much fun!! #here's to more??? prayer emojis intensify )

[arkangel246-blog]

i’m not sure how to go about this, so i’m just gonna start & see where it takes me.  i’m going thru some serious depression right now.  if i told you everything i’ve been thru you’d more than likely accuse me of lying; no one person could possibly have dealt with so much.  that almost sounds like bragging, but believe me,  it’s not.  i definitely wonder why i’m still here, if not for some ‘purpose,’ but it all feels pretty pointless much of the time.  

i’m a 59 yr old mother of 2 sons, 2 almost-grown grandsons, and a lot of what’s eating at me right now is the fact that Mom’s Day (AND my b-day last month) came & went without more than a ‘happy birthday’ post from my daughter-in-law.   my youngest son hasn’t had anything to do with me for so long i didn’t expect anything from him, but usually my oldest will at least text me.  he did, after all, move me from the okc metro a few years ago 2 hours northeast to be closer to ‘family.’   at this point i’m not quite sure who’s pulling away from whom.  i just know i feel like an orphan without children, without family of any kind, and i don’t know how to really change anything.   people have said, ‘i’d go camp out on MY child’s front yard until we worked thru things!’ but i guess i’m afraid it might push them away even farther, and i guess i also feel responsible.  but part of me is also screaming that i haven’t seen a bar, dated any more creeps, or been 5150′ed in a decade so you’d think that’d count for something,  right?  

where to begin?  i guess we can work backwards, & start with telling you about my last marriage.  and i DO mean, LAST.  

i met kyle in october, ‘01, and like so many, i really thought i’d found my knight in shining armor.  a co-worker introduced us,  telling me, ‘he owns an OIL company, just built a new house, and is SOOO nice!  you really HAVE to meet him!’  a week later we were inseparable, picking out a ring that shocked even his mother who said, ‘he must REALLY love you, because he’s TIGHT!” (meaning he was cheap. i had no clue... truly).   i knew he drank every day, and truthfully, i liked to drink too, so it sorta seemed to be a match made in heaven (or hell).  but i soon came to realize he generally started drinking before noon (running a company provided him that option), and nothing i could say could convince him to wait til later in the day.  i could never drink every day, & seeing him passed out every night before the sun went down got old fast.  when i met his folks i quickly realized it was a learned habit.  his mom & dad, who’d handed the company over to kyle & his brother so they could retire, did the same, to the point of being insulted if you didn’t choose to drink with them at family get-togethers, no matter how early in the day.  so who was i to go against family tradition?  

we hadn’t been married more than a few months the first time he threw what would become his grown-ass-man, 2 yr old tantrum.  he jumped up & down, spat and frothed at the mouth through bared teeth, and called me the name i came to be known by almost daily:  worthless, piece of sh!t, C-U-Next-Tuesday.  my transgression?  an ANA autoimmune tests for lupus/sjogrens/scleroderma, (one, or the other or any combination) had come back positive causing my insurance premium to more than triple, which in turn affected the small business’s employees’ premiums.  

now any ‘normal’ person would’ve run like hell at that point.  keyword being ‘normal,’  of course.  it’s funny how you can think a previous husband has been ‘abusive,’  until you actually marry someone who makes the one before seem like Winnie the Pooh.   i don’t know the exact moment i started believing i could ‘fix’ him  --- that i could do this, that or the other thing well enough that he wouldn’t beat the hell outta me, but in less than a year i’d begun begging ambulance drivers to take me to different ER’s because so many of the doctors were all-too-familiar with me.  i know this was after one repeat ER doctor refused to treat me again, storming out of the area voicing loudly, ‘the women who go back to these men DESERVE what they get.’   that time i called a cab, tucked my tail between my legs, & yes, went back home to him feeling like surely i HAD done something to deserve it or that doctor really wouldn’t have said so.  

after EMG tests were positive for nerve damage in my arms & legs, & i was put in arm splints and prescribed a ton of neurontin, i moved into the 2nd bedroom.  we had gone through a brief separation, both filing for divorce, but a combination of not really having anywhere to go & being so sick (both physically AND emotionally) i found myself back with him (1st of many times).  now here’s a word of warning for anybody who might be in similar circumstances at some point.  if you reunite with a spouse and drop divorce proceedings, LISTEN when your attorney tells you to make certain he ALSO drops the divorce WITH PREJUDICE; i did not.  never in my wildest dreams did i consider that someone who ‘loved’ me so much could possibly put the screws to me, until, a couple months later he called me from the master bedroom to say, ‘SURPRISE! i DIVORCED YOUR ASS on tuesday!  how’s it feel?’  

during a time when i was almost bedfast he’d gone back to court, had his friends testify against me claiming that i chose not to show up, and yes, the divorce was final.  since i had been served months before when we both had filed for divorce and his attorney had dismissed the proceedings WITH PREJUDICE, he was able to completely finalize it without my knowledge whatsover.   and it didn’t hurt that his company had an attorney on the payroll.  

there were times when i believed he wanted me around as long as he wasn’t responsible for my bills & i didn’t cost him very much.  i cooked, cleaned, & took excellent care of endless cats he & a friend continued to bring in.  i’ll never understand why he did this.  i learned at one point that he had kicked his 1st wife’s small dog to death years before when she went out with girlfriends he hadn’t approved of, so why he was so good with all these cats i’ll never know.  at one point we were up to 11 of them, 100% indoors, with white carpet, and in able to do all that needed done i was being prescribed almost every controlled substance there was.  i bathed several each month, while he’d toss an old towel on top of any hacked hairballs indicating that i had a mess to clean up.    

after our divorce was done without my knowledge i did get an attorney who was going to re-file & make the judge aware of what he’d done, but he agreed at that time to pay for everything until my disability went through, which he did. we hadn’t been legally married long enough that he might’ve been required to do even that much, so i accepted that.  he paid for a halfway decent apartment on the southwest side, but even then, he continued to come over when he felt the need to ‘vent.’   i had barely had the utilities turned on when it all went sideways & to this day i don’t know how he didn’t kill me.   i knew from past experience he was going to get my phone when he headed towards the bedroom so i tried to get past him before he could.   my next thought was, ‘he’s really killed me this time,’  when i found myself sliding upside down on the wall, coming down hard on my head.  it’s the only time in my life when i really had that slow motion experience so many speak of.  surprisingly i was able to shake my head and found myself alive, slowly able to get up with him screaming, ‘get the F up!  i never F-ing touched you!’  his perfect handprint was left in purple on my upper arm by the next day, along with a purple ridge along my back ribs from a ridge between the kitchen and pantry where i’d been thrown.  i was able to get him out of the apartment that night, thanking all the powers that be that i was ‘ok,’  only to go down like a ton of bricks the next day in the parking lot.  i heard and felt a loud POP in my neck....  like a rubber band popping...   and after some maneuvering showed i wasn’t gonna be able to even get on my hands & knees to crawl neighbors carried me back inside and called 9-1-1.  

tests showed a bone fragment in the sub-arachnoid space at the base of my skull, & i was in & out of a wheelchair for quite a while.  doctors knew my situation, and just sorta avoided the expected questions probably figuring i’d lie anyway.  the truth was my disability had yet to come through at that time, and if i’d put him in jail for that i’d have been homeless.  HOMELESS, with very limited use of my arms & legs even after all the cervical epidurals allowable and tons of physical therapy.   my mother had visited once long enough to assure me that i’d have to go into a nursing home if i stayed in the wheelchair because she wasn’t able (or willing) to take care of me.  so i taped a cell to myself at times to keep it within arm’s reach, and crawled to clean the litter box & feed myself for a while, but somehow, i regained the use of everything in time.  

except my brain.  if i hadn’t proven to be a total idiot already i’d claim landing on my head caused brain damage.  

not too long after my disability was approved while in the same apartment i found myself in a different kind of fight.  i took trash out to the dumpster around the corner - and i thought i locked the door behind me.  i generally did, but honestly, i still don’t know for sure.  i came back into the apartment & down the hallway into my bedroom where somebody grabbed the back of my head ramming me headfirst into a full-length mirror shattering it.   the next thing i remembered was waking up in the hallway in a mess of goo and yuck, disoriented, trying to figure out what had happened.  every movement hurt like hell, and once in the bathroom i saw my face was cut & bruised, & could feel other injuries starting to sting.   i cleaned up blood & the broken mirror pieces, took a bath & when i started to realize what had happened, called my son.  “It was KYLE, Mom.  KYLE did this!’  he said when i told him i thought i’d been raped.  i promised him i’d call 911, which i did, and a complete rape kit was done along with over 200 pictures taken.   afterwards i called Kyle & told him i’d been raped, and he simply hung up the phone.  did he HEAR me? it wasn’t unusual for him to be so drunk by that time of night i couldn’t even understand him, and sometimes he had just hung up on me or passed out on the phone.   one thing i DID know is that he was impotent.  i had been torn vaginally AND rectally, and he had pretty much zero interest in sex, so i couldn’t fathom how he might’ve been responsible for this.   so without another phone call to him, i made arrangements to move out of state nearer my kids into a secure apartment bldg.  as we were leaving town my son called him to say we’d left cats in the apartment and i was gone.  

you’d think that would’ve been the end of Kyle & me, wouldn’t you? but no.  if i’d been smart, you bet, but nobody ever accused me of having good sense.  

long before he & i were really over a warrant was issued for his arrest for sexual assault, i had to plead his case & his innocence fearing for my life.  i’d shoot up his house and be 5150′ed when i couldn’t quite bring myself to blow my brains out with a 9mm.  i’d called my sons that horrific night begging them to tell me they loved me at which time 1 said, ‘you’ve got a wrong number’,  and the other said, ‘go for it, Mom.’   it was several more years before i finally did leave with bruising severe enough to require a CT scan of my face.   PTSD has been added to my list of maladies & i wake up screaming on a fairly regular basis, the nightmares i can remember too gruesome for words.   kyle drank himself to death a couple years ago, and oddly enough, even though i hadn’t had any contact with him in 5 yrs i knew when he died.  i woke up middle of the night with something telling me to google his full name, & when i did i found a classified with his sister handling his estate, the company attorney listed as well.   when i emailed his longtime drinking buddy i was told kyle had ‘gone off the deep end,’  and that house he’d demanded i keep the white carpet pristine in had been 3 feet deep in beer cans when he was found 5-6 days after his apparent demise.  i’m guessing the cats feasted on his meaty parts.  

my doctor asked me recently how i felt when i learned of his death, & i told him that i’d cried.  the man had never owned a ‘used’ car,  or lived in anything except new homes.  he’d been handed an oil & gas company right out of college that was barely getting by, most likely because both he & his brother were drunk daily before noon.   it was just a total waste of a life that could’ve been used to do so much good.  a complete & total waste.  

the day i had someone helping me get my things to leave kyle had come into the house from the back alley with his buddy way earlier than usual, and taken off in his buddy’s truck like lightning seeing me packing.  i’d already gotten an emergency protective order but with the garage on the alley he’d had no way of knowing i hadn’t just eaten a few extra oxy’s and passed back out (typical) after i kneed him in the groin to get him off me, his hands from around my throat.    it wasn’t unusual for kyle & his buddy to drink in the garage daily, after about 3 or so, but it was noon when they’d come in.  i remembered sending kyle & his buddy pics of my swelling face the night before, telling them,  ‘never again.  he’s never gonna touch me or anybody else again.’  my knees went a little weak recalling the usual threats.  he’d told me over & over again how easy it’d be for my body to disappear, that it would make something called ‘condensate’ and nobody would ever find me when i was disposed of at a well site.  i couldn’t help but wonder if this was that time.  

there are probably still people surprised that i finally left and stayed gone, but that was 7 1/2 years ago & somehow the thought of what might have been kept me away.   he’d sent me a friend request the summer before his death, which i promptly deleted.  DELETE, DELETE, DELETE.  no, thank, you.