#this is so rushed and inconsistent but like WHATEVER i had fun!!!! i Needed to do something fun today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ms-cartoon · 9 months

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So sorry for the wait! I wanted to take a break from Helluva Boss for a little while because I needed to focus on other things. I feel like I’m a little late for it, but I don’t care all that much. As much as I like to have fun criticizing Helluva Boss, I don’t want my blog to be completely centered around the topic. I mainly signed into this site for my art, despite the lack of attention it gets. So you probably won’t be seeing so much post about the show as much as you used to. It’ll probably only be a once in a while kind of thing. But anyway . . . .

For once, we actually have an episode where the plot is focused on IMP doing their JOBS since the Cherub episode! Bet y'all this won't last long.

Of course, this is another “Let’s shit on Moxxie” episode and it sucked a**. Moxxie was surprisingly annoying this whole episode. I feel like the writers just straight up ruined his character for me. It’s bad enough that his story arc is really repetitive where he’s a scrawny loser that nobody likes to him toughening up at the last minute, but with this episode being the same damn thing only with him being a big crybaby about it and so desperate for attention???? And from some petty teenagers too, like--

Plus, Blitzo stays an asshole to nearly everyone around him like always. And the fact that we’re supposed to sympathize with him this whole time because he’s in his feelings and is all boohoo because his sister don’t like him is even more ridiculous and irritating.

On the plus side, Millie actually has some character development to her, but not even that is satisfying. Actually, I think the writers may have just failed with that one and I’ll explain why later.

So most of this episode is mainly centered around Moxxie and Millie who had to complete a mission for a client while Blitzo is taking care of whatever he has his concerns about, being his sister, Barbie. So, he leaves Moxxie in charge and the two arrive at this summer camp where the client was killed. To disguise themselves, they dress up as the opposite of their genders and they pretend to be brother and sister.

One of the issues I had with this episode is that, like always, there are up to three plots mixed in one pot. We have Blitzo trying to search for his sister, M&M completing their mission without Blitzo, and Moxxie all up in his feelings about his insecurities yet again. Like bro- why can't we just save one of these for ANOTHER EPISODE. Honestly, it’s not like we need a Moxxie episode anyway. We already have enough of that, and lets be real, no lessons are learned. Like this could've been a two-part episode where in the first part Blitzo is looking for his sister and we get a flashback on their childhood and why their relationship is the way it is, and the second part would be focused on Moxxie and Millie on their mission while Blitzo is handling what he's handling. Even then, Moxxie's insecurities could still be a side plot to that second part. But we can't have NONE of that, because the writers just have to rush everything!!

-- So Blitzo is trying to visit Barbie at the rehab center. . . . through a window??? Like, why can’t you check in at the front door? As soon as he sneaks in, he’s caught by one of the workers there who tases him and tells him to go away.

So when Blitzo asks about Barbie before leaving, she tells him,

"She's got a job now. A life."

A "job" that consists of illegal drug dealing? Unless this woman doesn't know what Barbie is really involved in, she shouldn't be vouching for her as if she got her life together. And it's also pretty ironic because this is a REHAB Barbie came from. Either the rehab didn't do a good job of helping Barbie or Barbie is so irresponsible and inconsistent, she just left and is using drugs again. Considering the results of her life now, I'm going for the latter.

-- Also, if Blitzo hasn’t seen Barbie in months, why does he decide now that he wants to visit her?? Why hasn’t he been contacting her until now.

-- So Blitzo shows up at the office while M&M are taking care of a client. Moxxie tries to talk to him about it, but Blitzo keeps brushing him off telling him, “Now’s not the time Moxxie!”

Dude! Just get the stupid mission out the way and you could look for your sister then! You got PLENTY of time right after! I don’t care how frustrated you are, you’re their BOSS! What’s the point in you trusting Moxxie to get anything done if you just end up talking shit to him in the end just to be a jerk??

-- Moxxie: Don't worry sir. We'll find your killer, and give him what's coming to him . . . And/Or her . . . .Or they . . . .

Just say "them". That should've been the first pronoun that comes to mind when you're describing someone you don't know the gender to. I might just be overthinking it, but if this dragged-on line might've been Viv's way of showing everyone that she and the writers are acknowledging the LGBT community, then . . . No shit, ma'am. We get it, more than enough of your characters have a sexuality that is anything but straight. We can't even count!

-- So M&M makes it to the human world in gender switched disguises and this is where Moxxie starts to become a nuisance from now to the rest of this show. They're hiding in the bushes, and they spot an obvious suspect of the murder. Millie correctly assumes he was involved, but Moxxie keeps brushes off her assumptions saying,

"That's all circumstantial at best."

My guy . . . . He has a whole bag of CASH and DRUGZ the client mentioned, he's holding a DRILL he most likely used to sink the boat to drown the client, and he's sneaking in a shed with a cautioned look on his face!! HE’S OBVIOUSLY THE MURDERER!! You're so hellbent on wanting to take charge and here you are already f**king it up!!!

So now Moxxie is wasting his time associating himself with these stupid adolescents to investigate even though the murderer was RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! Like, he literally ignores him for the rest of the day, not even suspecting him in the slightest!! Aren't you supposed to be the smart one here???

-- Moxxie tries and fails immediately at this whole roleplaying shtick, lol! Nah cuz first off, how you just gonna barge in on somebody's conversation?? Much less approach these girls as if you know them?? You obviously didn't think things through. Also, seeing Moxxie act like a teenage girl is like watching SpongeBob in a dress with a southern accent.

Freakin' Bugs Bunny can pull off a better female disguise and he can act like ONE HELL OF A WOMAN. He'll make you question your sexuality without even trying.

What I'm trying to say is Moxxie is trying too hard with this roleplay and it's making me cringe.

-- Moxxie with try-hard valley girl accent: “I’m Moxxine and I’m the prettiEst gurl in my school! And all the bois want meee!”

“My favorite coloouur is hot-pink because normal pink is SOOOOoooo basic!”

“I gAt my first periAd last year... and it was sOOo heveey.”

“YEEou wAnnA be FrieeeENDs???”

Moxxine. . . . Do us all a favor and SHUT. UP.

-- Female Camper to Moxxie: “The f**k is wrong with your legs??”

One of the rarest of times in Helluva Boss where a human is actually questioning one of these characters’ very obvious demon features. But it doesn’t matter cuz they continue to act stupid for the sake of the plot throughout the rest of the episode.

-- Y’all see how these girls jump from making fun of Moxxie’s red skin to swooning over Millie and saying this-

“Look at how beautifully tan he is!”

Bish, both of them practically have the same skin!! TF!!!??

Also, I know Millie’s supposed to be a dude right now and the kids are supposed to fall for it and believe that she is a dude, but-

I don’t even understand the point of these gender-swapped disguises aside from them only to add comedy to the plot or something or to make it convenient for everyone.

Okay, let's just say this little shot of Millie turning around right here doesn't help. THIS does NOT convince me that Millie is a boy. Especially with them long AF eyelashes. If anything, she looks more like a tomboy with a pretty face.

-- I’m not gonna jump back and forth to Blitzo and his situation cuz I just don’t care and his little side plot seems unnecessary in this episode (or maybe just the other way around. This episode could’ve been about Blitzo and his sister). But the gist of it is that he’s asking around for Barbie’s whereabouts and he immediately gets violent if anyone even slightly questions him. And there’s even the part where he comes across a succubus (or incubus since he’s male) that has an asmodean crystal and he gets violent with him too, putting him at gunpoint to force him to open the portal to the human world.

First off, I get that he’s desperate to look for Barbie, but is it really necessary for him to hurt people and force questions out of ‘em?? Are we really supposed to be siding with Blitzo here???

Second off, why does Blitzo even bother trying to force a succubus to open a portal with the crystal?? HE ALREADY HAS STOLAS’S GRIMOIRE! He could just go back to the office and use it there! Plus, it’s WAY too much of a coincidence that the portal would immediately take Blitzo where Barbie is, not to mention them being in the same summer camp that Moxxie and Millie are in. It makes more sense for the portal to stop somewhere randomly and Blitzo would have to continue looking for Barbie like he’s been doing.

-- So everybody is just okay with Millie practically killing these children? Like I get its just for comedy, but . . . . they’re still adolescents. These staff members should be fired.

-- Millie is feeling so happy and joy-joy over these kids liking her that she sings a song about it, which bored the hell outta me, so I skipped it. Why is she feeling suddenly ecstatic over this sudden fame?? As if she’s NEVER been acknowledged for her strength and skills before when she already gets enough of that from her husband, Blitzo, and her family. And even then, she wasn’t even that excited over those acknowledgements. Why is it so different with a bunch of random human beings you’re never gonna see again. I don’t even think Millie should be happy over this anyway. It’s not like these kids even like her genuinely. All there is her (or in their eyes, his) pretty face.

-- Why is there suddenly so much merch of Millie?? It hasn’t even been a day yet!!!

-- Moxxie is sitting in the sidelines feeling jealous she’s suddenly gaining all this attention. He even tries to sing a song as Millie suggested that goes along the lines of

“Hey! Pay attention to me! I’m better and prettier than all of you and you should like me! Pay attention to me! ME ME ME ME ME ME--”

Which is so out of character for him, btw. Like- WTF am I watching right now??? It’s just beyond embarrassing! You forget this is CHILDREN you’re singing too! Also, not to disrespect Richard Steven Horvitz. He’s a good voice actor and he played some awesome characters I like, but he is NO singer and he’s not even that good. I mean, he can stay on note, but that’s it. I don’t know what fans are going gaga about. Of course, this stupid song doesn’t work, and everyone continues to put their attention on Millie, so Moxxie walks off and cries like a bitch baby. . . . . No, I’m serious! He’s hiding in a tool shed and balling like a little petty teenager screaming, “Go away! Leave me alone. I wanna go home.”

Like bro- Did you just forget why you and your wife are even here in the first place?? Why are you even feelin all bad about a bunch of kids not liking you?? There not even that likable enough to be gaining attention from. And Millie trying to coax him and get him out of his temper tantrum is honestly stupid and embarrassing cuz first off, she shouldn’t have to and second off, she’s basically giving him the same advice she’s been giving him since the harvest moon festival when she shouldn’t have to. You see what I mean when I say this is another Moxxie episode with the same damn plot??

Viv and the crew are really screwing with Moxxie’s character here, from him being an untalented loser to him crying because he’s an untalented loser and suddenly getting jealous of his own wife (who’s suddenly talented at EVERYTHING for some reason). Like its kinda hard for me to even look at him.

Millie tells him once again to just do what he’s good at and continue to investigate by playing to his strengths, in which he keeps failing at the rest of the week, getting eaten by bears and sharks, hit with by a volleyball, shot with bow and arrows, y’know just constant Moxxie torture porn as if we’ve haven’t had enough of that already.

-- Excited for a concert she’s suddenly getting involved in (okay I thought this was a summer camp. Why is there a concert involved??) Millie shows up and tells Moxxie about it, not even realizing he’s not feeling the best of moods right now. Alright. . . . I know Millie’s having fun here, but she cannot be that unaware that her husband is having a hard time.

Now this where we finally get to see Moxxie and Millie having a serious argument for a change. And it’s pretty interesting to see. I was actually hoping to see the day where we see M&M fighting for once to show they're not always a perfect couple, and now here we are. Still, how the show goes about their argument doesn’t exactly work . . . . for either of them really.

On Moxxie’s end, he’s upset and jealous that Millie is practically a celebrity to these kids and suddenly goes off on her for it. And he had the absolute AUDACITY to say this-

“We have a JOB to do, Millie! Meanwhile, you’re dancing for views!”

Um, EXCUSE YOU SIR- What do you mean, “We have a JOB to do”? You’re the one that wanted to waste your time associating yourself with these kids and investigate THEM instead of the actual murder who was right there under your nose!! You weren’t even worried about the mission this whole damn time! You were so stuck on wanting to get so much attention from these campers, you completely ignored it!

On one hand, you’re like, “HiiEEE! I’m Moxxine!! Everyone pay attention to me!” Not focused on your job AT ALL!

On the other hand, once you see Millie getting so much love, you’re like, “Millie!! We got a job to do! Stop paying attention to these people and focus on the mission!!”

Bro, this has NOTHING to do with Millie not being focused! You’re just jealous she’s getting the attention that you want. Like seriously- This is unrealistically so out of character for Moxxie! Why is he being such a hypocritical dick here???

On Millie’s end? She pretty much has every right to be upset with Moxxie because he was being unreasonably mad at her. But what she says here was completely out of nowhere!!

Millie: "For once, I feel like I . . . like I'm important!"

Frikin WHAT Millie!!??

What do you mean?? Since WHEN have you ever felt unimportant to anything?? Literally, WHEN was there a time when you felt inferior or second-best to ANYONE!! This entire show, you've been shown already to be much more stronger and talented than your freakin husband!! With looks, your fighting skills, and precisely everything else you've shown off this entire episode!! The only one who should be feeling unimportant, who HAS been feeling unimportant is MOXXIE!! From Blitzo whose been treating him like crap, to Loona whose also treating him like crap, to Millie's parents and everyone else in her family who don't even like him, to Striker showing off and trying to be better than him, his own damn FATHER, his ex-boyfriend, a ton of kids at a stupid camp-- Freakin EVERYONE is always shitting on Moxxie while Millie is getting the most acknowledgment. Are we sure Moxxie is the only one being selfish here??

Also, I can get that Viv, Adam, and the writers FINALLY gave Millie a certain character and development to her here, but it still doesn't work and they failed! Know why? Cuz once again, where did this sudden inferiority come from??!! Since when has Millie felt she was unimportant to anyone or unworthy of praise? She already gets enough love and praise from her parents. Blitzo always acknowledged her and is hardly mean to her at all. And of course she get's enough support from her husband who loves her more than anything and he always notices her. So honestly, she shouldn't be feeling unimportant to anything.

Y’know, Millie’s side of the argument here would’ve made sense had there already been an episode just about HER! It would’ve made sense if we we’re shown that Millie had once felt unimportant and that she was no one to be proud of. Then we would’ve understood her side of the argument. But instead, the writers suddenly just drops some angst onto Millie out of nowhere with no kind of depth or build-up. We don’t even know why Millie is feeling the way she never felt before because it was never acknowledged.

And what’s worse is that this is another MOXXIE episode where we’re meant to pay more attention to Moxxie and his little insecurities for the FIFTH DAMN TIME! Where Millie’s feelings and development are only used as a tool for Moxxie to make up his development. Similar to Octavia or Stella who are used as underdeveloped tools for us to sympathize with Stolas and make him out to be a good person when he’s actually pretty selfish and terrible.

Lemme just jump to the next topic before I get off track here.

-- Moxxie finally continues with the mission like he should’ve done already, and he bumps into Blitzo. Realizing Moxxie is still getting the mission complete after a week, Blitzo replies with-

“THIS is why I don’t trust you with dick, Moxx.”

Bro stfu! The first time Moxxie brought it up to you in the office, you told him to get out and handle it on his own. You probably should’ve expected something like this. Also, how did you not realize Moxxie and Millie have been gone for a week??? You couldn’t have been that hellbent on finding your sister the entire time you couldn’t notice anything!!

-- Moxxie (about Barbie): Do you know her?”

Blitzo: Do I know her- That’s my SISTER, f*ckface!”

Ay man! Dial it back with the name-calling!! How was Moxxie supposed to know that’s your sister, especially with the human disguise?

-- OH!! So Barbie can have a human disguise while being an imp, but with Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie, Viv or any of the artist working on this show won’t take the time of day to come up with their human disguise!!?

Not that her human disguise is all that great anyway. Like, why are her arms and hands still the same, but with different skin.

-- As expected, Barbie turns out to be a bitch and unlikable. Like if you just take away her human form, you’d see a gender swapped version of Blitzo, and I’m not just saying that cuz they’re twins. It’s honestly disappointing, cuz I was actually looking foward to seeing her and was at least hoping there would be something good about her only for me to see her shaking her stuff to this minor. I mean- what the hell?? And NO Viv! It doesn’t matter if this boy is 18. Barbie is Blitzo’s age (around 30) with a huge age gap and it’s freaking wrong!! She even acknowledged that he was way younger than her when she confessed to manipulating him. She’s literally grooming this kid!!

-- How many times is Moxxie gonna fall in and out of being a great fighter!? He’ll be weakling at one point, to being strong the next, right back to being a weakling the next episode, being strong the next, and repeat. CAN HE FIGHT OR NOT??

-- I don’t like how we’re jumping back n forth to Millie wowing these campers. Can’t we just focus on the fight? How is she doing all these tricks while playing music at the same time? That’s tiring as hell! Since WHEN was she a musician!! And did this bitch just swallow a whole literal SWORD!!!!

-- Okay, I’ll give it to ya . . . I laughed at that one.

-- Blitzo: Barbie wait! Let me help you. . . . . you’re clean now.”

No, no she isn’t.

-- As stated above, Blitzo wants to reconcile with Barbie, begging her to let him help her and even suggested they eat somewhere, but she immediately turns him down, telling him she never wants to see him again and to never look for her. But WHY though!!? What happened between these two? What did Blitzo do that was so bad, she ended up hating him?? How’re y’all gonna keep introducing characters that have bad blood with another and NEVER explore it the rest of the episode?? You see what I mean when I say this episode could’ve been about Blitzo and Barbie and what went on with the two??? But instead what we get is Barbie just being on screen for less than 4 minutes!!

-- HOLY MOLY SHIT, VIV AND ADAM!!! What the hell is it with y’all and these incest jokes!!!

Yeah, I know they’re not actually brother and sister, but to everybody else they are! If they were just gonna end up getting it on in the end, why didn't they just pretend they were boyfriend and girlfriend or something?? And y’all really couldn’t wait until you were in private where nobody is around.

How y’all like Millerd now?

-- Blitzo: “Gotta be honest Moxxie . . . . not to bad for your first solo mission.”

Moxxie: *Gasp* Really sir?

Blitzo: “Nah. . . . You’re a f*cking disgrace.”

Says the guy whose sister can’t even stand him!!?

And why is Moxxie sittin there and on the verge of tears? Usually if Blitzo is talking shit to him, he would talk back. If not that, he would glare and growl at him. And Millie! Why is it that every time your husband is getting shat on, you just sit there??!! Actually stand up for him instead of just sitting and glaring.

-- These animators really can’t keep up with where to draw Millie’s beauty mark. It’s underneath her corner of her eye in one shot to it being on her cheek in the next. Sometimes, it right beside her lip.

So yeah, this was just plain DUMB! To Moxxie’s character turning into shit, to Millie’s character development making no sense, to Blitzo’s being an unsympathetic jerk, to Barbie being a groomer and a jerk.

*Sigh* I need a nap.

#helluva rant #helluva boss blitzo #Helluva Boss #criticism #Critical #helluva boss criticism #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #moxxie #unhappy campers

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fairyyeo · 2 years

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betting on you

pairing — han jisung x fem reader

genre — fluff, summer break au

tw — lots of alcohol consumption, food, minimal swearing

wc — 11k

a/n — hey….. i know i promised this like months ago but its finally here! just a day late for jisung’s birthday. i can’t even defend how bad this is. just ignore how inconsistent the characters are okay? my writing is rusty since its been ages since i posted and i’ve been through the seven layers of hell and back in the last few months lol ….. anyways.. i hope you enjoy !! <3

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you threw your almost bursting bags onto the back seat of your car, buzzing with excitement. summer break had just begun and you were going to spend it under the sun, laughing and relaxing with friends, exactly the way summer should be spent. mina had invited a bunch of people to stay at her family's lake house for the next few weeks, a perfect way to kick off summer she thought, and everyone had agreed.

mina's house was only a short drive away, and tzuyu was already there. the three of you decided to carpool for the road trip, hoping to make the most out of it and needing to be there before the others arrived so mina could unlock the door.

you beeped the car horn as you pulled into the driveway, and shortly after, you saw mina and tzuyu hurrying out the door. they were both absolutely beaming, clearly as excited as you were.

you wound down the window and called out, "hey guys! you can put your bags in the trunk!"

once they had, mina jumped into the passenger seat, leaving tzuyu to sit next to your luggage. instantly, you felt a hundred times more lively and full of energy being surrounded by two of your best friends.

"hi y/n! thanks for picking us up." mina greeted you, leaving over to wrap you in a hug.

"it's no problem whatsoever, besides, i should be thanking you for organising this trip!" you countered as you began reversing out the driveway.

"yeah mina, it's gonna be so much fun!" tzuyu agreed from the back seat. "alright, who's got control on the music?"

"you can play whatever." you replied, tossing your phone back to a grinning tzuyu.

it was a beyond enjoyable car ride. about six hours including all your snack stops and toilet breaks, but it felt much shorter with the three of you singing along to every song that played. it was scenic too. once you left the city it was beautiful scenery all around for miles and miles.

you drove through a town that was much smaller than the city you were used to. mina told you that this town was about five minutes away from the lake house and pointed out that you would need to come back here later today to pick up some groceries, even if it was already mid afternoon.

soon after, mina directed you the last bit of the way until you pulled into the driveway and parked close to the house so it would be easier to unload the car.

it didn't take the three of you long to unlock the entire house and open all the windows to let in some fresh air, while the sun beamed in and warmed the place up pretty quick. it wasn't too hot, but you'd definitely still be wanting a swim later.

once everything important was out the way, you took the time to properly take a look around the house. there was plenty of space for three people, but once the others arrived you'd admit that it might be a little cramped. that's no problem though, the more the merrier, right? the fridge was empty, as was the pantry and you remembered that you needed to go into town before it got too late to buy some food. you headed out the front door to familiarise yourself with the yard, which was pretty spacious. it went right down the the shore of the lake and extended out a far way to the fence line. you couldn't even see if there were neighbours nearby due to the thick shady trees all around.

by the time you got back inside to grab your car keys another two sets of wheels came flying down the driveway at dangerous speeds.

mina and tzuyu came rushing out when they heard it too and weren't surprised to see the eight boys piling out the cars all rowdy and boisterous.

"maybe we should've just made this a girls trip." tzuyu sighed jokingly, after all, these guys were your closest friends.

"hey ladies!" hyunjin called out, attempting to wink as he struggled to keep his bags from dragging along the floor while he carried them.

"it's been less than a minute, he's completely sober and he's already flirting? man, what's in the air around here?" minho joked, bringing over his bags with half the effort that hyunjin was using.

"forget about that, look where we are!" chan exclaimed, doing a spin as he breathed in the fresh air deeply. "i don't remember the last time i went for a swim, i'm keen." he grinned.

"me either, i can hardly to wait to put this stuff down and stretch my legs!" felix nodded in agreement as he waddled over, hardly managing his two fully bags.

tzuyu ran over to him, "here, let me carry one lix."

"how come you didn't offer to help me?" hyunjin said utterly offended.

"because felix didn't greet us with 'hey ladies!'" tzuyu countered, a playful smile emerging on her face.

mina was already doubled over laughing, it was gonna be a long trip, she thought. "follow me in, i'll show you where your room is." she said, barely suppressing her laughter.

"room? as in singular?" you heard hyunjin say with shock as the five of them hurried after mina.

you turned back around, feeling the weight of the keys in your hands, suddenly remembering where you were going, when you were met with an all-too-familiar face.

he raised a brow, "leaving so soon?" jisung asked, dropping his bags to the wooden deck beneath you.

"i'm heading out for groceries since we have none here." you replied, folding your arms.

"care for company?" he mused with a teasing tone.

you hummed in thought, eyes flickering over to jeongin, seungmin, and changbin who were approaching with their bags. you looked back at jisung who was focused on you with sharp eyes, "yeah, but not yours."

he shrugged seemingly unbothered, "suit yourself."

jisung began to pick up his bags before you called out, "i was joking ji! put your stuff inside and let's go, okay?"

you walked past the three other boys and greeted them happily as you headed toward your car. you made sure to direct them inside and let mina show them to their room as jisung caught up to you.

he quickly jumped into the passenger seat of your car and leaned back comfortably in the seat as you drove off.

practically as soon as you left the driveway, everyone back at the house began to discuss and dissect your relationship with jisung. because frankly, it was a popular topic amongst them.

"they're definitely something more than friends! you've seen the way they act around each other." mina exclaimed from her spot on the sofa.

"love exists platonically too!" jeongin argued, his voice projecting down the hall from his shared bedroom as he unpacked.

"not between them!" tzuyu called back before exchanging a high five with mina, who was glad tzuyu agreed with her.

"they're always fighting though." hyunjin pointed out, furrowing his brows in confusion and a small pout forming on his lips.

minho scoffed before rolling his eyes, "you're such a dumbass."

"why? what did i say?" hyunjin frantically looked between a snickering seungmin and minho.

minho nudged seungmin's arm, almost a little too harshly, urging him to say what they were both thinking, "for someone who's such a flirt, you sure can't see it happening right in front of you."

"you mean their fighting is their flirting?" felix called out from his room, the others couldn't see it but his jaw was open in a mix of confusion and shock.

"you know the saying, opposites attract." chan said with a shrug. "it's as simple as that."

"he's right you guys, i'll bet anything they get together before this trip is over." changbin agreed with chan, fist-bumping him in a similar manner to tzuyu and mina just before.

you and jisung, however, had enjoyed the short drive to town and were currently picking up some groceries for the week ahead, oblivious to the conversation being had at the house. you would need to come back in about a week's time to get some more, but for now you were rapidly filling up the trolley that jisung was busy pushing. once it was full with a variety of foods and ingredients to last about a week, you paid for them and carried them out to your car.

it felt a little strange to be doing such an everyday task with jisung, it was so domestic that you almost felt like a couple. that being said, it didn't feel wrong by any means, in fact, it felt comfortable. he's your best friend so that's a given, right? it's best not to think about it, the more you do, the more confusing it gets, and you wouldn't want a little confusion to ruin the start of summer.

you had to shake the feeling, and quick.

"hey, did any of you guys bring drinks?" you asked jisung, lifting the final bag of groceries into the car.

"i know minho and seungmin have some, i'm not sure about the others though." he looked over at you.

you laughed, as jisung hopped back into the passenger seat, "of course they do."

"what's that supposed to mean?" he examined you with those sharp eyes, like always. there was no spite in his words though, jisung knew exactly what you meant about seungmin and minho, he was just teasing.

"you know," you fastened your seatbelt, giving jisung a persistent look, "they love getting everyone drunk and causing total chaos."

he hummed, "i do see your point."

"anyways, let's go and get some alcohol, then we can head home." you said, starting the car and leaving the grocery store.

the sun was just slipping under the horizon by the time you got home, it was still warm outside even without the sun's rays. everyone helped bring the bags of food inside, both you and jisung completely missing the glances being exchanged between your friends.

minho and felix were the most glad to receive the groceries, eager to start cooking dinner as soon as possible. chan suggested they cook on the barbecue outside since the weather was still warm and they happily agreed.

and so you found yourself wandering down the dirt path to the lakefront in your swimsuit and a towel hanging over your shoulder. it was nearly completely dark outside now, but there was enough light emanating from the house to ensure that it it wasn't pitch black. everyone besides hyunjin and jeongin came down to the lake with you for a swim before dinner, they stayed on the deck helping minho and felix cook dinner.

you draped the towel over a tree branch and waded into the water, which was still a comfortable temperature however, your peaceful moment was abruptly disturbed when chan and jisung came bolting past you, splashing the water everywhere as they went. it was a fun way to pass the time until dinner was ready, which wasn't really that long, because before you knew it, the four boys were calling you up to eat.

"this is really great you guys, thanks for cooking!" you spoke as you began to eat.

"we should be thanking you for picking up the ingredients." felix replied with a smile.

mina poured herself a glass of water, looking over at you, "you must be tired from all that driving around today."

"honestly?" you took a bite of food, glancing around at everyone, "i'm exhausted, especially after having a swim." you laughed a little.

"well then, let's finish up eating and put you to bed," seungmin said as if you were a kid who was up past their bedtime, "and the rest of us will stay out here and get drunk." he caused everyone including you to laugh.

"sounds like a plan to me!" jeongin spoke up.

"it won't be the same without y/n though." hyunjin frowned.

"here he goes..." changbin side-eyed hyunjin.

"she's not going anywhere! we're here for a few weeks, remember?" minho rolled his eyes jokingly, "besides, i'm way more fun than y/n." he winked at hyunjin before turning back to you, "no offence."

"none taken." you said with a laugh, and you meant it. you knew minho well enough to understand he was just joking around.

"can we please keep the flirting to a minimum at the dinner table?" chan piped up, a playful smile tugged at his lips implying that he was teasing.

jisung let out a short chuckle, "yeah!"

mina and tzuyu exchanged a look that flew under your radar, but to everyone else meant something like ‘how ironic’. they could barely suppress their laughter as tzuyu stood up, lifting her empty plate.

"are you finished eating, y/n?" she asked, leaning over to pick up your plate. "let me grab that for you."

"thanks, tzu." you smiled at your friend, standing up as she just had, and ready for bed, "well guys, i know it's still early but i'm gonna head to sleep. it's for the best unless you wanna be talking to a zombie tomorrow." you finished with a short laugh.

"you mean we aren't already?" jisung turned his head to look at you, his brows softly furrowed unlike his sharp eyes that held your gaze.

everyone cackled as you simply lifted your middle finger and made a graceful departure to your bedroom. laughter could be heard travelling down the hall as you gently closed the door, leaving everyone to enjoy themselves.

practically as soon as your head hit the pillow, you fell asleep, leaving no time for your mind to wander back to the boy who was seated on the deck outside, whose mind had strangely drifted to you, wondering if you would sleep well despite everyone's rowdiness.

————

it made much sense that considering you were the first one to sleep, you were the first one to wake up. there was peaceful, picture perfect scenery outside. you put the kettle on, staring out the window as the lake gently rippled. you wondered what everyone had gotten up to last night after you slept, considering the house was left rather messy. you lifted the kettle before it got too loud and filled your cup to make a coffee, which you blew on gently before taking a sip.

you decided to tidy before everyone else woke up, putting the very few empty bottles into the bin outside and wondering who had drunk from them. you cleaned the countertop and rearranged the sofa cushions to their original state, before opening the curtains around the room to let the sunlight in and naturally warm the room, not that it wouldn't be boiling hot outside later anyway. it practically looked the same as how it did when you arrived once you had finished cleaning, you felt satisfied with your efforts and took your already half-consumed coffee outside to sit on one of the deck chairs.

it was already getting hot outside, despite only being eight in the morning. the weather definitely called for a swim later during the day. you were about to stand and refill your cup of coffee when you heard the glass door to the deck quietly creak open.

"i see you've been busy this morning." you heard jisung's voice, a little deeper than usual presuming he just woke up.

you spun around to face him fully, seeing that your assumption was correct as he was dressed in sweatpants and a shirt which he would consider pajamas, "are you being sarcastic with me? because—"

"would you let me finish?" he cut you off, sitting on the seat next to yours and folding his arms over his chest, "i was being serious, it was a mess when we all went to sleep. so, thank you."

"well then," you paused, "you're welcome, i guess."

jisung went to speak again but his jaw snapped shut when chan joined the two of you outside.

"morning." he smiled as he stretched out his limbs. "you two been up long?" chan queried.

jisung let out a sheepish chuckle, "no, i only just woke up. y/n was already up when i came out here."

"thanks for cleaning up, by the way, y/n. because i'm assuming it wasn't jisung." he teased with a laugh.

"it's nothing, really." you shrugged.

"anyways, i'm off for a run, i won't be long." he announced before leaving you and jisung alone again.

everyone else woke up not long after and the house's peace was soon turned quite lively. felix, changbin, and tzuyu enjoyed themselves as they made breakfast while everyone chatted in the living room. it was a comfortable feeling being surrounded by your closest friends, everyone still in their pajamas and lounging together on the sofas.

by midday you and jisung had wandered off, taking a walk into town. it was the first time you had taken a good look at it all and really seen how quaint it was. you walked past the grocery store and liquor store that you and he shopped at last night, and a cute little ice cream place that you would definitely drag jisung into on your way back to the house. the two of you strolled into a park that was somewhat busy, with kids running amuck as parents watched from afar. thankfully, there was a bench situated under a large tree that was casting shade and allowed you to escape the harsh sunlight.

you followed as jisung got comfortable on the bench, crossing his legs. you sat facing him, making sure you could watch him too as you both relaxed in the fresh air.

neither of you spoke for a while, you just sat quietly and watched as everyone went about their day. that was one thing you had noticed about jisung, in all these years of being his best friend, that he was very observant. he liked to watch people and was very in-tune with how others were feeling and because of that, how to approach different people and to handle them. he was special like that.

"hey ji?" you piped up.

his head immediately turned to look at you, his usually sharp eyes turned soft and his lips forming a small pout. "hmm?" you wouldn’t know it, but his heart skipped a beat whenever you called him that.

"i've been thinking lately."

"about what?"

"have you ever noticed that for two people who are best friends, we don't really speak to each other an awful lot, and when we do it's usually bickering?" in fact, you'd only just recently realised how strange it all was but held off from telling jisung until now.

"best friends? speak for yourself." he lifted a teasing brow, his eyes instantly sharpening again as his quick-witted mind responded before he could think of a genuine answer.

you laughed for a moment as he proved your point and spoke through a smile, "i'm being serious."

"i know, i know." he hummed in thought. "i guess i've never really thought about it that much."

"i suppose it's different for everyone, right?" you mused.

but jisung wasn't completely listening. he wasn't lying when he said he hadn't thought about it, now however. he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"ji?" you prodded his shoulder gently.

his heart skipped another beat, "huh?" his head snapped back to your face once more.

"i said, i guess it's different for everyone." you repeated your words from a minute ago.

jisung nodded hastily, "yeah, you're right." he wanted to leave before you could ask any more questions that would send his heart racing, so he asked a question of his own. "should we go get that ice cream now?"

you headed home in the scorching heat, stopping in at the ice cream shop on the way back. jisung let you try some of his in exchange for some of yours, a fair trade in your eyes. although, you had to eat it quickly as it was melting fast in the sun and hot weather.

the sun was beginning to set once you got home, and truthfully, you hadn't even realised you'd been gone for so long until you remembered you left at midday. when you arrived home no one questioned where you'd been, but they all exchanged glances that you missed as always.

the others had spent the day similarly to you and jisung, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company, except while the two of you walked under in the sweltering heat, they were inside blasting the air-conditioner.

the chefs of the group, felix and minho, were able to cook dinner with extra help from mina and chan. in no time, you found yourselves outside again sitting around the large table eating dinner similarly to last night.

"planning on an early night again y/n?" seungmin asked, his voice laced with teasing intent.

"nope, i'm ready to party tonight!" you said with a laugh that caused everyone to cheer.

"cheers to that!" chan said as he lifted his beer, everyone copied quickly, lifting their drinks no matter the content.

"it's still warm out, hey?" felix pointed out, looking towards the lake.

"perfect for a swim once we're done eating!" mina smiled as she took another bite of food.

"and a drink." minho added while winking.

jeongin laughed, "i'm not drinking anything you hand me, that always knocks me off my feet."

"you say that now, but you always end up drinking it anyway." hyunjin noted, nudging jeongin with his elbow playfully.

"you're one to talk!" changbin exclaimed, "you swear every time, 'i'll never drink another drink from minho ever again!' and then what do you do?" his impression of hyunjin sent the table into fits of laughter.

"not to mention, you're such a lightweight!" tzuyu said through laughs.

"just like y/n." jisung continued with a chuckle, his eyes holding your gaze from the other side of the table. sharp as ever.

"i am not!" you retorted, hands hitting the table defensively.

jisung just laughed. "we'll see about that."

"who's up for shots then?" minho called, standing up.

jisung was right. you knew he would be and so did everyone else, you just hated to admit that your alcohol tolerance was practically on-par with hyunjin because that was embarrassing.

everyone was buzzing as you all ran down to the lake in your swimsuits. the water was surprisingly still rather warm as you leapt in and swam out. exactly like the previous night, the light from the house and the deck shone brightly enough so that it wasn't too dark as you all swam. the music you had begun playing earlier was also loud enough to hear from the shore, and you definitely wouldn't of played it that loud had mina not ensured you that the nearest neighbours were far enough away to not be bothered by it.

everyone was having fun singing, dancing and splashing around when a pair of hands grasped your waist from behind, causing you let out a squeal.

"it's just me." he whispered in your ear.

you recognised that voice immediately, it was jisung.

you spun around instantly, hitting him maybe just a little too hard, "you scared the shit out of me!"

jisung gave you a indignant look, "you know i wouldn't mean to."

for half a second you believed him, until you saw his teasing smirk just a moment later.

"you jerk!" you said with a laugh, wriggling out of his hold and splashing him with water.

it was really a time to be alive. no one had a single thought in their minds besides what drink they'd be having next, and even as midnight was approaching there was no hint of the night coming to end for you all.

hyunjin and minho were dancing a lot closer than everyone else. a laughing mina was trying to urge tzuyu down from the kitchen counter, and just as she did, jeongin and seungmin climbed up. changbin and felix were out on the deck with chan and jisung just standing around and chatting while most of the chaos unraveled inside. and just as you sat down on the sofa, minho called out that he was pouring more shots.

you could probably handle one more.

the music was still going full volume as everyone was gathered together inside. jeongin, seungmin and tzuyu, who had snuck back when mina wasn't watching, were sitting comfortably on the kitchen counter. whereas, everyone else was spaced out between the seats at counter and the sofas.

you all talked and talked and talked the night away until it was getting difficult to keep your eyes open.

jisung, on the other hand, was wide awake. his mind was still occupied by the question you'd asked him earlier in the day. he had no chance of sleep. not when he couldn't stop thinking about his relationship with you and what it really was.

was it more than best friends? it truly hadn't crossed his mind until you mentioned it. everything always just felt normal with you. comfortable.

everyone managed to drag themselves to bed sometime before dawn, it was obvious that no one would be up until after midday the next day.

jisung was the last person to go to bed, he made sure to turn down the music and close all the curtains, turn off the lights and make sure everyone was sleeping comfortably.

once he finally was in bed himself, he could hardly shut his mind off as he saw the faintest glimpse of the sun beginning to rise. thinking about your question from before was no use now, he'd just have to deal with it again in the morning

————

as predicted, everyone slept until the early afternoon, but it was excusable because you were on summer break. at least that's what you told yourself.

the house was a total mess when you woke up and it was already unbearably hot outside. you would get around to cleaning right after taking a cool shower.

you turned the tap on and stepped into the shower, instantly feeling relief from the heat. you washed your hair and cleaned your body as fast as possible, keeping in mind that mostly everyone else would be wanting a shower too, despite how much you could've stayed there for at least an hour.

after wrapping a towel around your body you hurried from the bathroom to your bedroom to get your clothes, but not before nearly bumping into jisung.

"morning." he said, completely nonchalant as he placed his hands on your arms and slipped past you to get to the living area.

jisung seeing you in just a towel should've been a lot weirder, right? but strangely, it wasn't. and he didn't think much of it either, just brushing past you as if it was completely normal and as though he'd done it a hundred times.

"it's 2pm, ji." you pointed out with a smile before continuing into your bedroom.

when you returned jisung was washing dishes and humming to himself in the kitchen. "need a hand?" you offered, leaning against the hallway entrance.

"no thanks," he shrugged, "i've got two." he said, lifting up his hands, one holding a sponge and the other, a plate.

you rolled your eyes lightheartedly and repeated what he'd said to you when he'd just arrived on the first day, "suit yourself."

his eyes narrowed and followed you as you headed for a seat on the sofa. "i could use some help tidying up though."

"that's what i just—" you exclaimed, cutting your sentence short as jisung broke into a cheesy grin. "you're infuriating." you crossed your arms over your chest and glared at him from across the room.

"i thought i was a jerk." he said, turning back around to wash the dishes, and you couldn't see it but he was still smiling in anticipation of your response.

"last night you were for scaring me, but now you're—" you stopped again and huffed, "i give up."

jisung just laughed as you went outside to pick up all the empty bottles and cans and throw them in the bin.

you were still cleaning in silence as everyone else began to wake up.

"did you two have a fight or something? it's deadly quiet in here." seungmin casually pointed out as he threw himself onto the sofa.

mina and tzuyu quickly exchanged confused glances, mentally cursing seungmin for mentioning such a thing as your back was turned.

it was a comfortable silence to you and jisung, but the others felt tension in the air as they constantly wondered what was happening between the two of you.

"huh?" you looked at seungmin, "no, ji has been quite content humming to himself for the last half hour."

"ah, gotcha." seungmin said with a nod, placing his hands behind his head.

"we should go out later today once the weather has cooled off a bit." hyunjun said, "i'm starting to get cabin fever."

"we have been here for three days, hyunjin. you don't have cabin fever." minho jested, hitting hyunjin with one of the cushions on the sofa.

"not to mention we've spent half our time outside and swimming." chan said with a point of his finger.

"where is there to go around here, mina?" felix asked.

mina paused to hum in thought, "the bar is really nice, we could go for dinner."

"i'd never pass up a good dinner." changbin said, taking a cold bottle of water from the fridge.

"you'd never pass up any dinner." jeongin corrected him with a smile.

"that's true," he said with a firm nod, "dinner is important, my friends."

"god, doesn't he sound wise?" tzuyu chuckled.

"changbin is ever a man of principles." jisung said with a laugh, patting his friend on the back.

just like the previous days, you spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing until it was time for dinner. the difference today was that felix and minho would get a break from cooking.

everyone sauntered out the door and began walking into town. besides chan, jisung, and yourself, no one else had left the property, so they were keen to stretch their legs. it wasn't too far either, so it was just enough to work up an appetite for dinner.

the sun was going down when you left, so you'd be walking in the dark home. there was streetlights to the edge of town, then it was about another ten minutes down a dirt road to the lakehouse, so it wouldn't be too bad.

when you arrived the bartender welcomed mina happily, instantly recognising her as she'd been coming here for years.

you sat down at the largest available table and ordered your meals as quick as possible.

the atmosphere was cozy. there was a jukebox in the corner playing all the classic karaoke songs that you knew seungmin and jeongin were dying to have a go at. jisung was sat at the opposite end of the table to you, occasionally daring to glance in your direction and lucky enough to never awkwardly catch you glancing back.

he wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself that something was stirring inside him, it felt like discomfort... discontent. something wasn't quite right but he couldn't put his finger on it just yet.

when everyone was done eating and had spread out through the bar, jisung joined you at a booth by the front window. he sat next to you, rather than in front of you.

"i felt like we were separated by a whole continent at dinner." he said with a chuckle, running a hand through his hair.

"ah, that's why it felt quiet," you joked, "you weren't around to bother me."

jisung crossed his arms and raised a brow at you. "you were literally sitting next to changbin."

"okay, yeah. good point." you agreed.

there was just a heartbeat before jisung spoke again.

"sing with me?"

you blinked. "huh?"

jisung grabbed your hand in his, and that's when you felt it. everything just shifted ever so slightly, finally clicking into place. it all made sense now.

you loved him.

"sing with me!" he repeated, pulling you off the seat and towards the jukebox.

you didn't have time to process the feeling as jisung passed you a microphone and picked a song. you just went with it, if it made him happy you'd sing for hours.

jisung, on the other hand, was trying to drown out that small uncomfortable feeling that was getting more difficult to ignore, as he selected what he remembered to be your favourite song.

he couldn't help but reciprocate the smile that appeared on your face as you exclaimed, "i love this song."

as the two of sang, the rest of your friends gathered around to join in on the fun. half of them were drunk, swaying along to the music and their words slurring as they sung.

it wasn't long before the song finished and the both of you let seungmin and jeongin take over. everyone continued to sing their hearts out, encouraging the rest of the people in the bar to sing along with them. it was a enjoyable night.

"you and your friends should come around more often, the locals seem to like you. y'know, liven up the spirits and all." the bartender said to mina as you all began to leave.

"and drink 'em!" minho said with a wink, causing everyone to laugh.

she laughed and replied, "we're staying at my family's lake house for a while, we'll definitely come back before we leave."

"i'll be glad to have you all back." the bartender bid you farewell with a smile and a wave.

the lot of you began your trek back to the cabin. minho and hyunjin were practically bursting with energy and raced ahead of everyone, laughing and singing the whole way.

you lagged behind with mina, walking in silence until she prodded you with a finger. "so," she drawled, "jisung?"

heat filled your cheeks, which had never happened before. but now you were extremely aware of your feelings and everything was different. "what about him?"

"you know he's like, in love with you right?" mina said with a smug expression.

you snapped your mouth open in surprise, "i wouldn't say love." you lightly hit her arm and giggled. “he’s one of my best friends.”

jisung was up ahead talking with chan, felix, and tzuyu. you saw them grinning at jisung as chan clapped him on the back.

"well he's definitely got a thing for you." mina said, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

when you looked ahead again jisung was gone, you figured he'd ran up to join changbin, seungmin and jeongin.

"hey mina!" tzuyu shouted back towards you two. "come here for a second!" she said through laughs.

"well," mina said, unhooking her arm from around your shoulder, "we'll pick up this conversation again later, yeah?"

you nodded with a smile and watched as she ran to tzuyu and locked hands with her.

you continued strolling along, warily looking back as the last streetlight seemed further and further away and the dark path towards the cabin became slightly creepy. you jogged a few steps forward, not wanting to fall too far behind on your own.

the weather was nice out, just comfortable, and you thought about going for a swim later. where it was lighter. and it wasn't dark. and everyone was together.

you took a few more quick steps forward, listening as everyone's voices grew more distant.

"scared?"

you jumped, your heart practically bursting with fright as you felt a pair of hands on your waist, "holy shit, ji!" you slumped back onto his chest.

"well, isn't this familiar." jisung chuckled as he moved to your side, keeping an arm around your waist. his heart skipped a beat of it’s own as you called him by that nickname.

"you gotta stop scaring me like that, i might die of fright one day!" you tried to play it cool, joking around. what you hoped jisung didn't notice was the way your knees were slightly trembling and your skin burned at his touch.

this was unusual for you two. he was never this physical with you. you were never this nervous around him. you guys never even spoke this much. yet, you were still best friends. or maybe you were more than that now. you didn't know for sure, but something had shifted and neither of you had brought it up.

you felt less scared having jisung by your side for the rest of the walk. despite your nervousness, you found comfort in the silence that enveloped you two. it was almost like how things used to be, before you both realised your feelings for each other. how you the two of you would bicker for a while before progressing into a comfortable silence.

you didn't exactly dislike the idea of having feelings for jisung, it was just new to you, it would take some adjusting. for a brief moment, you wondered if what mina said was true. if he really did 'have a thing for you.' but you couldn't ponder the thought too deeply as jisung's arm fell from your waist as the light of the cabin came into view.

it seemed like everyone had also decided they wanted to have a swim, beating you to it. they were already in the lake, music playing loudly, bottles of alcohol open all over the deck and laughing and singing along with each other.

he gently squeezed your hand before letting go again, "wanna go for a swim?"

the two of you made it inside and changed into swimwear. jisung headed outside to talk with chan and changbin who were sitting on the deck drinking beer. you, on the other hand, were running towards mina who was in the lake.

"mina!" you called out.

"what is it?" she looked at you, a little panicked as you seemed frantic.

"i need a shot—shots actually." you grabbed her arms.

she let out a laugh. "calm down, there's tequila in the kitchen and the shot glasses are already out. minho and hyunjin found them before you."

"okay, okay, thank you." you went to turn around but mina grabbed your hand.

she lowered her voice, "is this about jisung?" you blushed, luckily it was too dark for her to notice it, but your lack of response told her everything you needed to know. "it is isn't it?" she pushed you back towards the cabin, "go! go!"

you found the tequila open on the kitchen counter and an empty shot glass next to it. you tried to be subtle about it as you downed the liquor, but it didn't go unnoticed by hyunjin and minho who were dancing with felix on the couches in their swimwear. mina would most likely scold them for it but she wasn't there to stop them, or so they claimed.

"you're doing shots? count us in." minho leapt over the sofa and picked up a nearby shot glass. you looked up at minho, then down at the glass, then at minho again. "go on!" he smiled.

you filled felix's and hyunjin's glasses too, and your own for a second shot.

"bottoms up!" hyunjin cheered.

jisung looked inside and spotted you just as you consumed the potent liquid. he raised a brow and folded his arms.

"okay, i think i'm ready to swim now." you nodded to yourself. "have fun guys, give me a shout when you wanna do more shots!"

you slid open the glass door to the deck where chan, jisung, and changbin were hanging out.

"you guys coming for a swim?" you asked them.

"changbin and i have already been, sorry!" chan said before taking a sip of his beer.

"i'll come with you." jisung agreed like that wasn't already his intention as he picked up his beer.

you rolled your eyes playfully, "great. stuck with you. again."

chan and changbin laughed at your comment as jisung followed closely behind you down the dirt path to the lake. as you arrived, tzuyu, mina, jeongin, and seungmin were climbing out.

"damn, you guys were too slow to hang out with us." jeongin said with a teasing shrug.

"we'll see you up at the cabin later, yeah?" tzuyu assured you both, "i'm sure minho and hyunjin have no intentions of sleeping just yet."

"have fun you two!" seungmin called out as the four of them left. he was the only one besides mina who had an inkling that you're relationship with jisung was becoming something more than flirting. "they're totally gonna kiss." he mumbled to himself.

mina didn't say anything as she left, she merely winked at you before follow the three others along the path back to the house.

"and then there were two." jisung sighed teasingly.

"don't sound so excited." you joked, slowly wading into the water.

jisung finished off the last of his beer before following you out.

while your back was turned he dove under the water and swam towards you, making an effort to tug on your ankle. you let out a shriek as he came up laughing.

"you're never gonna stop trying to scare me, are you?" you questioned him, raising your eyebrows expectantly.

"nope." he grinned playfully, "i love teasing you."

you narrowed your eyes at him, "that's all you ever do."

"yeah because—" jisung exclaimed before abruptly cutting himself off. he'd nearly just spilled his heart out to you. he needed a second to collect his thoughts and go about this in the right way. delicately and gently, the way it needed to be handled.

"because what?" you mused, swimming towards a more shallow part of the lake where you could easily stand, the water just reaching your chest.

"remember yesterday when you asked me why we don't speak much, even as best friends? and how when we do, it's always teasing?" his voice was low and serious, for once he seemed to want to take a conversation seriously and you weren't exactly sure where it was going.

you simply nodded in response, wordlessly inclining him to continue.

"well i know its a little overdue, but i think i've finally got a proper answer." jisung didn't have the nerve to meet your gaze, so he looked towards the trees instead. "i think... i think the reason we bicker is because it's all i can manage."

"what do you mean?" you practically whispered.

"its like, the only way i can talk to you is with throwaway jokes because if i let myself say anything else, i'd say how i really felt." it was like he'd instantly put up a wall of defense on the day he met you that was built of teasing and you instantly reciprocated. it gradually became what seemed like flirting to everyone else, which neither or you ever noticed.

"and how do you really feel?" you barely managed to say, feeling your heart beating a million miles an hour.

"i'm in love with you. i think i have been for a really long time now but i never fully realised it. there was always just this feeling that bothered me, and over the last few days it's become so much stronger and more difficult to ignore." confessing to you instantly lifted that bothersome feeling from his chest, but just as quickly, a new and even more uncomfortable feeling replaced it. a combination of anxiousness and uncertainty.

jisung still couldn't look you in the eye, he didn't want to see your expression because he was scared it wouldn't be one of love looking back at him.

but he we was wrong. you were looking at jisung like he was your entire world, because truthfully, he was.

you gently placed your hands on either side of his face and pulled him close, until your forehead rested on his. jisung's hands settled on your waist, he seemed to like holding you that way as it wasn't the first time his hands had found home there.

for a moment, jisung's world fell silent, the music from the cabin faded out, the voices of your friends ceased and even the gentle rustling of trees seemed to stop. if you were saying something to him, jisung wouldn't of had the faintest clue. he was totally enthralled in the moment, to him, it didn't matter what you said next. you could of broken his heart, told him to leave and never speak to you again. jisung wouldn't care, he'd still have this moment, here with you, and that would be enough for him.

"jisung," your hands crept up to the back of his neck as you awaited his reply, "ji?" he looked completely zoned out, you weren't exactly sure what else to do, so you pressed a light kiss to his cheek.

jisung's eyes widened and finally locked with yours. "sorry, did you say something?"

"i was just trying to get your attention." you smiled softly, you had never seen him so flustered. he must've been extremely nervous.

"oh, sorry." his hands shifted anxiously on your hips before removing themselves from your body completely, "look it's okay if you just want to forge—"

"i love you, ji." you said, hopefully firmly enough to ease jisung's evident nerves. "i really do, and i think i've known for a long time as well."

his eyes finally softened and he wracked his brain for some kind of snarky response, but nothing came to mind. jisung supposed there was no way that wall of jokes would go up again. would things would be different now? he wasn't scared, he was looking forward to finding out with you.

"do you truly mean it? you’re not drunk are you?" he pouted and began to pull away from you.

you couldn't be quicker to respond, "i promise you i'm serious, okay?"

"okay," he nodded, "okay." he repeated, a smile emerging on his face. "so in that case, is it okay if i do this?" jisung placed his hands on either side of your face and slowly leaned in, waiting just in case you had any last minute regrets.

you didn't. you leaned up to meet his lips halfway and he kissed you deeply, pulling you closer than before. feeling your bare skin against his was not as strange as you thought it'd be, and you very quickly began to enjoy the feeling.

the two of you got lost in yourselves, not being able to get enough of each other. jisung's mouth trailed lower and lower down your neck, to your chest, and then your stomach in light, hasty kisses. you wanted nothing more than for him to keep going but the thought of being seen by your friends made you embarrassed.

"ji," you giggled, "c'mon, not here." you lifted his head with your hands so he was back to eye level with you. but he simply went back to leaving kisses all over your face. "jisung," you whined this time, trying to wriggle out of his grip, not successfully hiding your smile.

"alright, fine." jisung leaned back and smiled, "we should probably head back, hey?"

you both waded out of the water and straight back up to the house, keen to change into dry clothes. chan and changbin had migrated inside with everyone else as the fun continued further into the night.

jisung slipped through the glass door behind you as you were both welcomed with drunken and excited greetings. though you missed it, mina and seungmin both whispered something to each other as you walked to the hallway. you and jisung parted ways to your separate bedrooms to change out of your swimsuits.

when you crept back into the living room you were almost instantly practically yanked onto the kitchen counter by an unbelievably drunk hyunjin and minho. it seemed as though mina had given up trying to keep them off of there. similarly, felix and jeongin were standing on one of the sofas dancing with each other. you happily danced with hyunjin and minho, but your eyes scanned the room for jisung, who you realised hadn't left his bedroom yet.

you hopped off the counter, assuring the boys you'd be back. as you walked into the hallway once more, mina and seungmin exchanged another glance and smirk that went unnoticed by you.

you gently pushed open the door of the bedroom you knew he was staying in, and smiled to yourself when you saw jisung fast asleep sprawled across one of the single beds. quickly, you shut the door and let him sleep peacefully. before you made it to the end of the hall, your path was blocked my mina and seungmin, who both had their arms crossed and were smiling teasingly. they ushered you back and into your room, closing the door behind them.

"so, did you enjoy your swim?" seungmin questioned, lifting a inquisitive eyebrow.

"seungmin!" mina whacked his arm, "could you have been any less obvious?"

you looked between the two of them, knowing exactly what they were getting at. you put on a poker face, pretending you had no idea what was going on, "it was nice. shame that we just missed you guys though."

seungmin laughed, "you might of missed us, but did you really miss us?"

mina rolled her eyes again at seungmin's straightforwardness.

"i'm not sure what you're trying to say, seung." you shrugged in fake confusion.

mina huffed in frustration, "i can't stand this roundabout talk!" she smirked, "just tell us what happened with jisung."

you couldn't hold back your smile, "oh, that."

"yeah, that!" both seungmin and mina repeated.

"we just talked, that's all."

"bullshit!" seungmin exclaimed.

"i'm not telling you guys what you wanna hear." you crossed your arms with a smug smile.

"well, that tells us enough. we were right all along, mina!" seungmin high fived mina and they went to leave the room, both grinning.

mina looked back just before they exited, "we won't tell anyone. promise."

even though she winked as she said it, you knew she was being honest and let out a sigh of relief, falling back onto your bed.

despite the music and other noises coming from your friends down the hall, you managed to drift off to sleep pretty quickly. you hadn't meant to, you were going to return to the party but you just couldn't bring yourself to get off the comfortable bed.

————

you naturally awoke early in the morning because you'd also fallen asleep early. when you entered the living room you were surprised to see that only about half your friends had made it back to their beds last night, the other half were passed out all over the room.

you smiled to yourself. sure they liked to party hard, especially minho and hyunjin, but you'd never seen them like this before.

they'd appreciate breakfast, you thought. as quiet as you could manage, you began preparing to cook. someone must've woken up despite your efforts, though, as you heard a pair of footsteps gently patting across the floor.

it didn't take you long to work out who it was as you felt a pair of hands land on your waist.

you spun around is his grasp to face him, a smile plastered across your face, "ji."

"morning." he replied simply, voice still dense and raspy from sleep. jisung just moved closer to you, settling his chin on your shoulder.

"you’ve got to let go." you tried to escape his hands, not without a smile as his grip only tightened.

"but i don't want to." jisung whined as you turned back around to resume cooking breakfast.

"what if someone sees us?" you cracked an egg into the hot pan.

seungmin—who had woken up before jisung even walked into the room but pretended to remain sleep—smirked as he listened. honestly, seungmin hadn't meant to eavesdrop, it just so happened that jisung walked in and he didn't want to make it awkward by startling the two of you.

his arms recoiled and he frowned, "is that a problem?"

"well," you flipped the egg, "it just might come as a surprise to everyone. i don't know."

seungmin almost couldn't contain his chuckle, remembering the bets everyone had placed at the beginning of the trip.

"okay, i know what you mean. i'm going to change out of the clothes i slept in, i'll be right be back." jisung couldn't help but steal a kiss before he left, a grin creeping onto his face as he just escaped your playful punch.

a blush seeped into your cheeks and you shook your head as you refocused on making breakfast. seungmin took this opportunity to make it known that he'd just woken up, yawning and stretching obnoxiously.

"good morning." he said, smiling.

"morning seungmin, are you hungry?"

he ran a hand through his hair, "yeah, are you cooking breakfast?" he asked as if he didn't already know.

"i am, it'll be ready soon."

seungmin nodded, silently beginning to set the table outside. he decided that he'd given you a hard enough time over the last few days and this was his way of making up for it. jisung soon joined in helping, after having changed into a new set of clothes.

before you knew it, everyone was awake, the outdoor deck table was set, and you'd finished cooking breakfast.

it was a warm day once again, but everyone seemed to have gotten used to it by now. the leaves on the trees blew gently, cooling you all down a bit as you ate.

"you're actually a legend, this is great y/n." chan said, picking up his knife and fork.

"i'm not even sure how half of you can stomach this after last night." seungmin said, glancing around the table, putting in extra effort to stare down minho, hyunjin, felix, and jeongin who had gotten the most out of control the night before.

the four of them laughed.

jeongin put some food into his mouth, "i would be crazy to miss breakfast. especially if it was made by y/n." he added with a grin.

"nobody can argue with that!" changbin agreed, happily digging into the food in front of him.

"enjoy the hangover-free life while you can, jeongin." hyunjin said with a sigh.

minho cackled. "don't be so dramatic, i'm older than you and i feel fine."

"he's just a lightweight, don't worry about it." tzuyu said teasing hyunjin yet again.

hyunjin held his cutlery up at tzuyu in a weapon-like manner, "now you—"

"no fighting at the table!" mina exclaimed, laughter escaping her lips as she reached for hyunjin and pushed his hands down.

"first no flirting, now no fighting." you pointed out with a chuckle.

"it seems that mina would have us do nothing but eat in silence at the table." felix joked.

mina's jaw dropped, "you make me sound like a tyrant, i never said no talking."

everyone finished off their breakfast enjoyably before all chipping in to clean up the dishes.

"what should we do today?" you wondered aloud, hopping onto the counter.

"lets just stay here and relax today." chan suggested as he leapt onto the sofa.

"you? relax?" jisung said.

"i know right, i'm suprised we could convince him to leave the laptop in the apartment." changbin added.

"well..." chan drawled.

"don't tell me you brought it." changbin gave a flat look.

"nah, nah, i'm just joking, i swear it’s at home." chan flung his hands up in surrender.

"our problem still isn't solved." mina said, pulling you off the kitchen counter by the hips. "what are we doing today?"

jisung had been gazing at you, therefore not missing the way mina's hands held your hips. his sharp eyes narrowed just as you caught his gaze and you rolled yours in return. seungmin, who was still being extra observant of you both, didn't miss the interaction and had to place his hand over his mouth to hide his chuckle.

"what's so funny?" minho, who was quick to notice the action, immediately called on seungmin.

seungmin instantly created a response, "i was just remembering how crazy everyone was last night."

"we're getting off topic again." felix pointed out, leaning further back onto the sofa.

"alright," hyunjin clapped his hands once, "what's the plan, bitches?"

"yeah, bitches!" jeongin repeated.

"hyunjin you are such a bad influence in this group, now you've got jeongin swearing!" tzuyu leapt over the back of the sofa to hit him lightheartedly, causing an all-out attack on hyunjin.

"guys!" mina exclaimed.

every paused, thinking they were going to be scolded for fighting and causing disarray in the house once more.

"i've got an idea." she finished.

"i thought you were gonna tell us off again!" felix said, nervously laughing.

"yeah well, that too." mina looked around at all the cushions on the floor and the sofas out of line.

"what's your idea?" you asked mina, as you sat down next to jisung.

"i think there's a dvd store in town, lets rent some dvds, get some popcorn, and have a movie night." mina explained as everyone loved the idea.

"i'm happy to drive into town to get the stuff if you want." you suggested, "what movies do you guys want to watch?" all of your friends began shouting their favourite movies at you. "i didn't catch a single one of those, just text me the ones you want, okay?"

"don't forget the drinks." minho added with a poke to your arm as you stood up to leave.

hyunjin let out a cough and doubled over before collapsing to the floor dramatically, "no more drinks! i think i have alcohol poisoning." he pretended to groan in pain.

"such a lightweight." minho commented under his breath, but purposely loud enough so that hyunjin would hear.

"what was that?" hyunjin practically leapt to his feet and began tackling minho.

tzuyu's palm met her face and mina quickly ushered you out the door, "go, go! let me deal with these idiots."

you slipped out the glass sliding door and onto the deck, not making it too far before you heard mina yell out 'cut it out loverboys!' and you giggled to yourself.

the door behind you opened again and you turned around to be met with jisung who simply smiled, "care for company?" he repeated what he said back on the very first day.

"yeah, but not yours." you did the same thing, repeating what you said in response. "i might ask mina to come with me, she's been kinda cute lately." you wiggled your brows before striding towards the car.

jisung's jaw dropped in surprise as he followed you over and climbed into the passenger seat. "you wouldn't ask her out! she's one of your best friends, it would ruin everything!"

"you were also one of my best friends, ji." you acknowledged, starting the car and heading out the driveway.

"what do you mean were?" he folded his arms over his chest.

"really?" you said bluntly.

"what?"

"don't play dumb with me."

jisung had known what you meant right away, he just wanted to hear you say that he was something more than your best friend.

you sighed, deciding to tell him what he wanted to hear, and what you wanted him to know. "you were my best friend, but now..."

"...now what?" he leaned over, lips hovering over the shell of your ear.

"now you're my," you wanted to turn and look at him but kept your eyes on the road ahead, "boyfriend?"

jisung yanked his head back, "why did you say it with an unsure tone?"

"because we never said that's how it was going to be!" you exclaimed, "besides, i just feel like boyfriend isn't the right word for how i feel about you." you added a little more quietly.

"i see, i see." he grinned, "i love you too." he said with a tease in his voice, and although he understood what you were saying, he wouldn't lie to himself, it would be nice to hear you call him your boyfriend—or something of the sort. "hey, why are you pulling over?"

"so i can do this." you grabbed his face and pulled him close as you began kissing him. jisung smiled against your lips before kissing back with an even stronger sense of passion. "okay," you pulled away, pressing a final kiss to his cheek, "let's go shopping, my love."

jisung blushed and couldn't help but think that it was like you knew what he had been thinking as you called him by a term of endearment.

you made it into town and found the dvd store easily enough, opening up your phone to make sure you got all the movies everyone wanted to watch. some of the options weren't exactly your favourites, and some you'd never heard of, but you were excited nonetheless.

after that, you smiled as you walked down the isles of the grocery store, although it was only a few days ago, it was bizarrely reminiscent of your experience shopping when you first arrived. it was almost comforting, to feel that the connection between you hadn't changed, it still felt just as domestic, and he was still the same old jisung had always known.

neither of you knew where this relationship was headed, and frankly, that was a bridge you would cross once the trip was over. right now, you were just happy to be here with him, happy that you'd finally made sense of your feelings, and happy that jisung was by your side, lover or not.

you scooped a few packets too many of popcorn into the trolley, knowing you could never really have too much with your group of friends. jisung tossed other snacks in, just to accommodate everyone's tastes.

as per minho's request, you also went to the liquor store to get more drinks, because somehow, you were running short on them. even the cashier was surprised, recognising you both and joking about you returning so soon.

jisung offered to drive on the way home but you refused, insisting on tradition. he scoffed about how you driving into town twice does not create tradition and you simply replied that all traditions begin somewhere.

when you pulled into the driveway, jisung couldn't help but to steal a kiss as you parked the car. he helped you bring the bags of snacks inside and everyone whipped their heads around to face the two of you as you entered the house.

everyone went for the bags like hungry vultures, opening the snacks and putting them into bowls. mina and seungmin snatched the packets of popcorn and hurried off to the microwave to cook them, giggling something about you and jisung that you both—once again—missed.

hyunjin and minho went around the room closing all the curtains to best block out the sunlight as it wasn't quite dark outside yet. they somehow managed to turn it into a competition which resulted in a tackling match, much like the one from earlier.

this was to the dismay of everyone else, who had made an effort to arrange the room in a way that suited a movie marathon, sofas faced towards the television and some of the mattresses from the bedrooms on the floor to comfortably seat more people.

once all the popcorn finished cooking, mina and seungmin finished their gossiping, and everyone settled down into their spots, you played the first dvd. it was hyunjin's pick, a 90s rom-com you were familiar with.

you were sat next to jisung, which wasn't anything exciting to anyone besides mina and seungmin, who knew of the little situation between you two. it was comfortable leaning against him and jisung loved feeling the cozy warmth of your body against his. he wanted so desperately to wrap his arms around your shoulders and rest his chin in the crook of your neck, but that would too close and most likely raise suspicions with your friends.

the moon was soon hung high in the night sky and you were about halfway through your collection of dvds. to your surprise, it was felix and tzuyu who opened up the first drinks, they handed them around to everyone.

"now this is my ideal night." minho said, clinking his bottle with jeongin and hyunjin who were sat either side of him.

"lets watch my movie next!" felix suggested, sitting back in his spot next to tzuyu, who you had noticed snuggled awfully close to him. cute, you thought, recalling all the moments of flirtation between them over the last few months, even before the trip.

"alright lix," chan stood up, as he was closest to the dvd player, "which one is it?"

felix pointed to a dvd laying on the floor, it was an action-packed movie by the looks of it.

changbin piped up, "mine after this! its a horror movie." he wiggled his brows.

"that'll be fun, especially with these scaredy-cats." you pointed at jisung next to you, seungmin on the opposite sofa, and felix too.

they each groaned, causing everyone to laugh.

it was the very early hours of the morning by the time all of the movies were over. no one bothered to drag themselves to bed, instead opting to just make the most of their current positions.

————

for once, it wasn't you who was first awake but changbin, who didn't fail to notice the way jisung's arm had settled across your waist as he slept. changbin smiled to himself.

however, it wasn't long before everyone else woke up. instantly everyone was uncomfortably hot, with the sun already high in the sky and all sitting rather close to one another.

"i know that yesterday i said i'd be crazy to miss breakfast but i really need to cool off first." jeongin said, heading straight to his room to change into his swim shorts.

"i second that!" chan agreed.

it wasn't only chan who agreed, everyone was soon in the lake, cooling down, before even eating breakfast, which was shocking to you.

"i reckon it's the hottest day we’ve had yet." felix noted, plunging beneath the cool water.

"i thought i was being cooked alive last night, it didn't help that minho was practically clinging to me." hyunjin added with his typical dramatics.

minho splashed water in his direction, "you were the one clinging to me!"

"there they go again." seungmin laughed as another fight erupted between the two.

mina looked up at the sky, noticing that it must be well past midday. "i'm gonna go prepare lunch, are you guys hungry?"

"swimming has made me even more hungry than usual." changbin said, placing a hand on his stomach. "i'll help you."

about half an hour later all of you were gathered around the outdoor dining table again, despite your earlier complaints about the unbearable heat.

everyone ate happily and you looked around lovingly at your closest friends, your gaze lingering longer on your boyfriend, as he would insist you called him. you hated that the thought of leaving this place crept into your mind, it would be nice to stay here by the lake forever amongst your friends. but of course, that was unrealistic and you all had lives to get back to. at least now jisung was to be more apart of yours.

you'd gotten so lost in your thoughts that you didn't even hear jisung speaking to you.

he nudged you gently, "y/n?"

"huh? sorry, what did you say?"

"i said, are you finished eating?" he pointed to your nearly empty plate in front of you.

"oh," you nodded, "yes, thank you my love."

you hadn't even realised you'd said it. jisung's eyes instantly widened as a blush swept over his cheeks, remembering how you said you didn't want to shock anyone.

well shock you did.

the table burst into chaos.

"what was that?"

"you've never said that to jisung before!"

"what?!"

"come to think of it, they haven't been fighting as much lately."

"and they were cuddling last night!"

"why did you call him that?"

"do you love each other?"

"are you guys dating?"

"called it!"

it was too late to backtrack what you'd said. jisung just laughed as he took your plate to the sink inside.

"i guess you could say that we’re together." you said rather bashfully as exhiliration washed over the table.

mina and seungmin were bubbling over with excitement, finally they didn't have to keep it a secret between them. although, they were thankful this shared secret had brought them closer together. they high-fived before seungmin cleared his throat theatrically, "alright you lot, pay up!"

"pay up?" you questioned. it was your turn to be surprised.

"we made bets on whether you two would end up together before the trip ended." changbin explained with a grin on his face as felix handed him some money.

"some of us had our hunches about you two," mina said as jeongin passed money to her.

"and some of us were absolutely clueless." minho said while laughing as hyunjin groaned, opening his wallet.

"i never doubted you guys." chan grinned as he clapped jisung on the back proudly.

"thanks for making me $20 richer!" tzuyu said to you with a chuckle as she pocketed the money she received.

as everyone happily continued exchanging their money, jisung crept up behind you, hands wrapping around your shoulders.

"at least i can do this now." he whispered, head resting in the crook of your neck like he had wanted to the night before.

you titled your face towards him, "for the record, ji," he waited curiously for you to finish the sentence, "i've always been betting on you."

jisung beamed and kissed your cheek.

mina scoffed obnoxiously albeit jokingly—a habit you noticed she'd picked up from seungmin, "hey! no flirting at the table!"

152 notes · View notes

thequietmanno1 · 6 months

Text

TheLreads, Vigilantes ch 92, Replies Part 1

1) “Anyway, vigilantes! The All Might signal was sounded, Gondor asks for help, and now let’s see the arc wrap up nicely so we can get back to the actual fucking story. Without further ado, Chapter 92-

…

Chapter 92… Might Signal…

Are you making fun of me Furuhashi?”- Looks at the rest of the chapter and the further plot inconsistencies. You know, he might just be, specifically for you, of all people

2) “Ah, the All might tower, been a while since we last saw it… And I need to say, I never imagined All Might as someone who, you know, had a whole fucking tower for his agency.”- Based on what we see here, I assume the tower was strictly to have a landing/launching point for him away from the rest of the city, so he didn’t break anything that he didn’t own whenever he came in for a landing or had to immediately break through to walls to rush out and answer the call.

3) “Why open the roof? It’s not like the walls would even faze All Might, his quirk is similar to Mirio’s, as in, he can go throw any solid object he wishes, especially walls and roofs.”- Because then that’s more paperwork for Nighteye having to get the funds together to rebuild the damages done. This way, he’s only got one hole in the walls to patch up now. 4) “All might were you in the fucking stratosphere? I know you jump good but by that angle of arrival I am wondering if you were having tea in the ISS”- Based on what we’ve seen of him as Prime Might, I wouldn’t doubt he was in another prefecture entirely and made it all the way home in a single bound

5) “I don’t know All Might, they say that home is where the heart is, and I don’t see Momdoriya anywhere around here.”- Given how we’ve not seen anything of All Might’s biological family and how Nana has been long dead by this point, this agency might actually have been the first building he could come to consider a ‘home’ for himself since he was a teenager, forged from his tireless efforts waging a one-man war against evil and villainy- and because of that same commitment, he can barely rest to enjoy the same comforts that a domestic house should provide. It’s a sorta neat parallel to Tomura’s own family home, and how he still feel trapped within it by the way society stifles and restrains him.

6) “You guys, wasn’t more exciting to cover him saving the day rather than arriving home? I know that it is impressive how he can land and not obliterate the whole building, but it’s not like he’ll give y'all an interview just because you were camping in his living room”- Given how far and fast he can move in a single instant, camping out here is arguably the only place the reporters can guarantee he’ll stop by for a few moments before rushing off again.

7) “Well I’m not surprised here, this is prime all Might, before his meeting with the potatoinator, three days of consecutive work is a lot for a regular human being but All Might is anything but regular. If anything, I’m surprised he only got a record for three consecutive days, I bet he went more than that working without rest”- That’s three days of publically-recorded incidents. All Might was most certainly doing non-stop hero work even before he came into the public eye, and probably several times when he’s supposed to be on a break. OFA’s gotta have some kind of stamina-enhancement to it, because his body should long have started to break down before he got his guts rearranged. 8) “Oh wow, I don’t remember ever seeing his hair drop like that outside of the main series, prime All Might seemed like the kind of person who never tired, it is so off-putting to be reminded that he was only human after all”- It seems even before he because Thin Might in full, he was already leaning on his ability to ‘prop himself up’ and put on the mask of an infallible and unbeatable hero, hiding his fatigue through sheer force of will and whatever the heck OFA’s changing in his body – because, even without the strength boost, his body is very clearly un-normal for somebody born without a Quirk. 9) “HOLY FUCK IS THAT MOTHERFUCKING SIR NIGHT EYE WORKING

BEST CHAPTER ALREADY BEST CHAPTER

I REFUSE TO MAKE ANY CRITICISM FOR THE REST OF IT”- Well, this sure lasted long, didn’t it? 10) “is that fucking all might thin? even though this is prime all might? even though the only reason all might even looks thin in the first place is that he lost a lot of body mass and weight after the fight against afo, a fight which didn’t even happened yet, and he pretends to still be buff by “inflating” himself? are you implying that all might was never buff and he was pretending to be buffer to be more impressive, even though we saw him in the hospital after the fight against afo and he was still buff, even though he had no reason to appear like that?

is that what you are implying furuhashi?

is that it? “- In fairness, All Might was on his way outside to meet the reporters in that flashback, but I will also note that as much as he’s using the same mechanics that change him from Thin Might to Buff Might, his normal form isn’t quite as skeletal and haggard as he will eventually become– more life and vigour in his cheeks, overall healthier complexion – it’s just that his body is getting fatigued by the strain, but he’s already using the basis of his ‘flexing’ technique to hide it before it becomes a necessity to use his powers period. 11) “Honestly I completely lost track of whatever the hell is going on here

Look, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty fucking sure that the main series made clear that All might was buff, and that now he needs to puff his muscles to appear as his original form

I don’t even care about the mighty pajamas now, because holy fuck what was this”- In hindsight, it would be somewhat serendipitous for All might to miraculously discover a means of being able to fully transform his entire physique from weak to strong just by flexing really hard right as he’s put into a condition where he’s left permanently crippled and on the verge of collapse using his powers. Him having already developed a variant of the technique in order to hide his fatigue and exhaustion from the public actually makes a bit more sense than him pulling it out of his butt right when he needs a skill like that to disguise his weakness – it’s just that it basically became a crutch technique to access his strength at all after his injury, perhaps due to some psychological issues stemming from his injuries and self-image of his emaciated body? I dunno, just spitballing. I will say, I didn't actually realise this was another plot hole until you pointed it out. 12) “Oh too late, he already feels that something is wrong and some dumbass requires his help to save the day again, time to put on your muscles back on All Might”- The Superman powers is strong in this one. 13) “OH FUCK OFF FROM HERE WITH THIS BULLSHIT I WAS ONLY JOKING

WHA- WHE-

sigh

I need another moment to gather my thoughts.”- Superman has super-hearing and x-ray vision to seek out danger nigh-instantly, I found it somewhat appropriate/funny that Furuhashi included these ‘powers’ for a quick gag just to drive home the comparison more. 14) “Im sorry, I forgot to even type something, those last few panels… they sure were panels alright”- And to complete the homage, we now have a variant of the Bat-signal being used to warn people that danger is on the way….to fight evil! 15) “Alright All Might, you can go, they need you, I’ll be over here just-“- I choose to believe that All Might flexed his clothes off because he didn’t want to waste a few seconds taking them off the normal way, so he just took the direct approach. 16) “See I told you there was no need for a roof entrance, All Might makes his own doors whenever the time arises”- Nighteye: Well, there goes everybody’s Christmas bonus. 17) “Yeah, here we are. Alright Hood, time to pack your bags and leave, the savior is on his way and according to the Xitter flight tracker he’ll be here in less than a minute.”- Hood and Rappa aren’t the kind to quit whilst the fighting’s just starting to heat up, which ironically puts Knuckle and Kurogiri in the same position. 18) “Not surprising, Rappa wants to throw hands and see which one of them die first. You go ahead Rappa, this guy is gonna be picked up by his dad in a few instants, don’t waste your breath giving a speech”- Actually, AFO also doesn’t want to just quit and run like this. Say what you will about him, but the man doesn’t easily quit once he’s set his mind on a goal, no matter what cheats he has to pull off along the way to reach it.

19) “Rappa please, just let your fists do the talking, and I hope you are Eminem-levels of quick considering how short time is”- Rappa’s quick enough with his hands to write an entire soliloquy…in his enemies’ blood.

20) “Ah knuckles, I’m glad that you finally realized how fucked up Rappa truly is. That’s good, that’s the first step in loving him as the best character in this manga.”- Every good character in this or MHA’s series is a little bit unhinged, good or bad. Just noticed that as a recurring theme

21) “Knuckles please, All Might is already out of the door as we speak, the man almost teleports when needed

And meanwhile I’m just looking back at the previous few pages and I’m still like”- I don’t know where Might Tower is in relation to Osaka, but I’m willing to give them the generous time limit of about 5 minutes or less before All Might touches down, and a lot can happen in a few minutes. 22) “Yeah what a shock, right AfO? And what’s worse, he’s even bringing him pillow, the devastation he’s about to unleash is unheard of”- I believe that subconsciously All Might really wants some shuteye, which is why part of him held onto the pillow, but duty sleeps for no man. 23) “buy some time? Against prime All Might? Are you sure about that AfO? Even Kurogiri is doubtful about how sane you are and is thinking about potatofying your face himself.”- He doesn’t have to buy a lot of time, just enough that All Might has to send a few extra seconds on arrival before entering, which, though cutting it close, might give AFO enough early warning to pull Hood from sight before he bursts into the building. 24) “Now that’s a lot of time to buy for someone that isn’t even going anywhere- You are just fucking around for fun now, aren’t you AfO? “- To be honest, a lot of his actions can come down to ‘fucking around for fun’ as much as he also twists them to serve a pragmatic purpose. Exhibit A: twisting Tenko Shimura into a villain to fight All Might, as much for the sadistic joy of watching the truth break him as it serves his greater plans – and it’s honestly hard to tell at times whether he’s motivated by petty malice or long-term pragmatic evil. @thelreads

#my hero academia #bnha #chapter replies #thelreads #bnha vigilantes #vigilantes 92

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worst-archivist · 8 months

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ℐ𝒩𝒯ℛ𝒪~

Welcome! This is my rp/ask blog for Jonathan Sims, head archivist of the Magnus Institute. If you are not familiar with The Magnus Archives, expect sarcasm and pessimistic cynicism galore. Also expect triggering content. The Magnus Archives in and of itself deals with basic phobias such as the feeling of being watched, possession, bugs, paranoia, the apocalypse, and several more. If you struggle with any of these topics, I suggest avoiding this blog. While gore and body horror appear in TMA as well, I will write about these a lot less. Gore and body horror tags will be listed below, along with some others.

Also, I have AU ideas that I’d LOVE to incorporate here, but for now this blog is based on season 1 Jon and any random head canons that I may have come up with.

ALSO also, I might throw in some of my drawings and/or fic ideas once I improve them a little bit. My sketchbooks are absolutely covered in tma doodles, so maybe I’ll throw in a few here and there. Who knows, flip a coin.

ℳ𝒪𝒟 ℐ𝒩𝒯ℛ𝒪~

Hello! I’m Lilith. My pronouns are they/them, and I am going into my senior year of HS. While I am obsessed with tma, as of writing this post I have to admit that I haven’t listened past ep 130. Keep in mind that I don’t really care about spoilers, but don’t expect me to know them LMAO. My likes/follows will come from @testing-999, but I doubt anything else.

ℛ𝒰ℒℰ𝒮~

1. No nsfw content. Jokes, references, etc. are fine but I will NOT be doing any straight nsfw scenes. I headcanon Jon as asexual, and will not be budging on that.

2. DO NOT RUSH MY REPLIES. I can and will drop whatever thread or ask I am getting rushed on.

3. Please recognize my boundaries. There’s nothing I hate more than watching a line get stepped on, and once again I will not hesitate to ignore/block you.

4. I had a rp/ask blog back in 2020, but only recently redownloaded tumblr. There’s a good chance I’ll either forget to tag something or that I’ll tag it wrong, so please call me out for it. Just as I don’t want anyone overstepping my boundaries, I don’t want to overstep anyone else’s.

5. I’m not against ships, but keep in mind Jon is roughly in his upper 20s and I will not rp anything with a large age gap.

6. Be patient with me 🥲 I’m a high school senior that over-scheduled their classes, so this year will be a struggle for me. I’ll be as active as I can, but expect inconsistency.

6. Events, ideas and suggestions are more than welcome!! I appreciate any and all feedback, and if you have a fun rp idea I would LOVE to hear it

8. CROSSOVERS ARE MORE THAN WELCOME!! Same with asks too. I love love love interaction, I’m like a little bed bug that feeds off of it.

And last but not least

𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒮~

In character post - statement begins || head archivist

Gore - Ow! Ouch! Owie! || head archivist

Body horror/transformation - metamorphosis begins || head archivist

OOC post - Lilith is sleepy || OOC

Characters besides Jon posting - archives expanding || MORE CHARACTERS

Crossover rp - does your world have coffee? || CROSSOVER

Ask - tell me what happened || ASK

Rps including the wonderful @diviningjade - Fashion major? Space girl? Who knows || diviningjade

And any more tags that might need to be made will be added. PLEASE let me know if there’s anything specific that you’d want me to tag.

#Lilith is sleepy || OOC #rp rules

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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Lying (Next) To You (Cassandra Dimitrescu/Reader)

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T+ for violence + language Warnings: Blood-drinking/general vampiric shenanigans Summary: There is no goal other than escape. You want out of this castle, no matter what you have to do, no matter the consequences. At first, the solution seems to lie with one of the very women you want to get away from. But what happens when you find yourself genuinely caring for her? Length: 5,934 words

Merely surviving had never been your intention. From day one in this foul place, this unholy castle, you had strived to escape. No matter what, you refused to allow such dismal grounds to be your grave. But leaving wouldn’t be as simple as walking out an unlocked door. It required manipulation, agility, and the willingness to screw over anyone who got in your way. Even those who you would have once called friends, or the closest thing you had to that among the servants. Was that something you were willing to do? Absolutely, without a shred of doubt in your mind. Someday, somehow, regardless of what it took, you’d get out and never look back. For now, though, all you can do is scheme…

—————————

Three targets, each incredibly difficult to get your hands on, each presenting their own unique challenges. Which would be easiest to charm? You were still debating that answer.

First was Bela: The eldest, most responsible, forced to be the “role model” for her sisters. A bookworm (a trait the two of you shared) who spent a fair amount of her freetime in the library. While not overtly cruel, she was still rather violent, especially in cases where she felt her family had been insulted. However, there were whispers that she had a secret weakness: Anxiety. None had caught her in the open throes of an attack and lived to tell the tale. But she had been overheard, more than once, quiet cries or shaking breaths. Trying to talk to her during one of these occasions could lead to gaining her affection- if you managed to do what no other had been capable of doing, that is.

Second was Daniela: The youngest, most excitable, eager to please and desperate to be pleased. Easily interacted with more maidens than either of her sisters, though not always in a good way. Getting her attention could mean getting pulled into her room in the middle of the night, for some “fun”, or it could mean getting drained of all of your blood. Sometimes she did one after the other. Like Bela, she was a bookworm, though she preferred romance novels as opposed to her older sister’s educational texts. As for her weakness? To you, Daniela seemed to be the definition of “undiagnosed ADHD”. Less exploitable for sympathy than her sister, but possibly useful in helping you trick her. At the end of the day, the largest concern with her was her inconsistent behavior, her tendency to flip moods at the drop of a hat- and a drop of the hat with her could feel a helluva lot like a drop of an axe (onto your neck).

Then came the third… the one you didn’t think was worth the risk, whatsoever: Cassandra. Middle child and acting just like it, she was hungry for her mother’s approval, attention, and respect most of all. Bloodthirsty as could be, with a mean streak eight kilometers wide, the truest monster you had ever met. Even her fondness for the arts manifested in malevolent ways. Supposedly, she painted in blood, and made sculptures from the bones of her victims, displayed proudly in her room as trophies. What could you possibly do to earn her affection? What could you ever be to her, other than a plaything or mid-afternoon snack?... Nothing, you assumed, and so you figured you might as well remove her from your list. Somehow you’d have to make do with one of her sisters. As for which one?... You decided to let fate decide, and go for whomever you found yourself with an opportunity to court.

—————————

Free time was a rare commodity in Castle Dimitrescu. While every servant did technically get one day off every week, it wasn’t uncommon to end up helping with something unexpected, even if one tried to hide away in the private quarters. For you, it was an opportune time to try and get closer to your targets. So far three weeks had passed since your “decision” to focus on Bela and Daniela, without a single interaction with either of them. Still, hope held fast in your chest, as you made haste towards the library. On this free day you intended to read as much as possible. ‘Twas a two-pronged goal: First, you would increase your chances of running into one of your preferred employers. Secondly, you could possibly learn something through what content you consumed, perhaps to be utilized in later conversations.

Or such was the hope. In truth, you did not make it to the library, nor even anywhere close. A quarter of the way there you were interrupted by an ever-dreaded noise; buzzing echoed throughout the hallway, first far off, but getting closer with every second. There was a particular ferocity to the vibrations that you knew meant danger was approaching. According to the other maidens, this was a distinction that everyone learned over time, assuming that they survived long enough. The smart thing would have been to duck away into an adjacent room in the hopes that whatever sister it was would ignore you. But your endgame weighed heavy on your mind, then forced your feet to the floor. For better or worse, you would be in the woman’s path, ready for whatever she may ask of you.

“You-” a voice snarled, as a hooded figure phased out of the swarm and into your vision. Her head was held high, eyes narrowed as they stared down at you, a snarl twisting her lips. Of course it was her. Cassandra Dimitrescu. The one daughter you didn’t want to encounter. Inside, part of you writhes in self deprecation, feeling as if you should have known better. How often did the other two buzz about so angrily?... Well, certainly a fair bit, but nowhere near as much as Cassandra. Fuck, you think, I’m probably doomed. “I’m hungry. Come here real quick,” Cassandra demands, beckoning you towards her with a single finger. In another life you would have blushed bright red at the sight. A life where she wasn’t a vampiric monster, that is.

Nonetheless, you are quick to obey, masking your anxiety as best as you can. Doing so gets much harder once your gaze meets Cassandra’s, and you see her lick her lips before smirking at you. As soon as you’re within her reach, she’s surging forward, grabbing you by your shoulders, then pivoting, pressing you hard against the wall. You can’t help but gasp at the sudden movements, which only widens her grin. Before you know it she’s running her tongue along your neck. Once more you gasp, this time softer, hating the way your body urges you to lean into her touch. Why couldn’t she simply get straight to the worst of it? Instead she takes her sweet time, slipping a finger beneath the collar of your shirt, slowly, carefully tugging it to the side. When she finally bites, it is terribly sudden. The pleasure comes before the pain, stronger than you would have expected, eliciting a sharp inhale from you that sounds more satisfied than you had intended. Even as a rush of pain follows, you can’t help the red that tints your cheeks.

“Enjoying this, hmm?” Cassandra asks, after licking away at your blood for a few moments, pulling back but not releasing you. Something in her eyes makes you need to respond.

“Y-yes, more than I’d like to admit,” you mumble, barely able to make eye contact. But she seems pleased by this, gently cupping your chin while she looks you over.

“Well then, if you survive… I might just have to drink from you again,” she whispers, before diving right back in towards your neck. This time her touch is far, far softer than before. It feels more like she’s kissing you rather than drinking from you. A strange, irritatingly familiar feeling springs in the pit of your stomach, and you can’t help but make more of those noises she seemed to enjoy so much. Hell, your eyes drift closed as you take in the surprisingly welcome sensation. When they reopen, however, you give a yelp of surprise, spotting a very awkwardly waiting servant. They were blushing, clearly not having expected to come upon this particular sight. Cassandra perks up at your shock, turning to follow your gaze, then giving an uncharacteristically resigned groan. “Damn it, Ava, is it urgent?” She asks, to which the servant gives a silent shrug. “I’ll be done in a minute. Now, where were we?”

Once more she resumes feeding, casting aside all traces of sweetness, sucking on your wound with reckless abandon. Behind her, Ava gives you a thumbs up before turning away. As embarrassing as the moment felt, you were grateful to xer, glad that xe seemed to recognize your desire for privacy. More than that… if xe hadn’t come along, would Cassandra have remembered to stop before your bloodloss became fatal? There was no guarantee either way. Yet xer intervention felt like a godsend, and you made a mental note to thank xer later. Soon enough Cassandra removes herself from you, pausing only to cup your chin for a moment, meeting your gaze with a smirk. Then she was turning away without another word, following Ava to some unknown destination.

A deep breath, then another, more frantic, the familiar sense of panic growing on the edges of your mind. Now that the feeding was over, you were left trembling with all the fear you had been so adamant about not showing before. How close to death had you come? How close were you now? Only feeling slightly more faint than you had earlier, it felt safe enough to assume you would be fine, if only physically. Inside your mind you were struggling with racing thought after racing thought. How the hell am I supposed to do this with either Bela or Daniela? You think, trying to breathe past the lump in your throat. And why did I have to enjoy that so much? They’re nothing more than means to an end, monsters undeserving of my kindness, of my joy. Your only comfort was the knowledge that this may very well have been the opportunity you had been waiting for; but only if you could shift your aim.

—————————

The difference was subtle, almost microscopic, to the point where it took you a full week to notice. But once you had? Everything felt different. You couldn’t spend more than three seconds in the same room as Cassandra without her eyes following you, watching your every move, sending a rush of both fear and excitement down your spine. Meeting her gaze only made her give the tiniest fraction of a smile. As soon as something (or someone) else caught her attention, however, you were forgotten in the blink of an eye. Yet it was nerve wracking nonetheless. This was roughly what you had hoped for, but you had underestimated the mental toll it would take on you. There was no way to tell whether Cassandra wanted violence, something softer, or her usual brand- a cruel mixture of both. Every second spent in her presence was a roll of the dice, a flip of a coin, either one weighted to put the odds against you.

But you persisted. Escape was not a dream, nor a fantasy, nor some far off cryptid. It was inevitable. Again and again you would swallow your fear until you reached your long-sought destination. No matter the cost, you think, no matter the consequences. Over time, that cost, those consequences, would grow. For now, it was a slice of your sanity. Next? More blood, it seemed.

“Casserole wants you to stop by her art studio,” the note said, cursive hand-writing ever-so-fancy and ever-so-difficult to read. Clearly from Ava, the mildly mysterious (but incredibly helpful) castle servant known for never speaking a word. From what you had gathered, xe was a confidant of sorts for the Dimitrescu family, trusted far more than the average worker. Alas, xe was loyal to the center of xer being, and was rumored to be impeccable at preventing escape attempts before they had even started. If you wanted out of this damn place, you knew you’d have to be careful around xer. Hopefully xe won’t interrupt this time, you think, before tucking the note away in your pocket.

Cassandra’s infamous studio wasn’t terribly far from your quarters, thankfully, though you weren’t even sure if you were supposed to arrive at a specific time. What if she wasn’t expecting you until later? Worse, what if she had been expecting you an hour ago? It’s a dangerous thought, one that could easily spiral into something far more drastic, and you try to reassure yourself, reminding yourself that Ava would have mentioned a time if it was important. In the end, you still found your heart racing as you stood outside the room in question. Pausing to take a deep breath, you center yourself, before raising a hand to knock. To your surprise, you get an answer before your hand even gets close to the door.

“Come in already,” Cassandra chimes from inside. Unsure of what terrible fate you were about to meet, you entered the room, somewhat reluctantly. Despite the myriad of unsavory rumors regarding the studio, there were no immediate signs of brutality. At the worst, the space was fairly messy, though not due to any, ahem, “misplaced” body parts. No, just an overflowing garbage bin, a few unfinished projects placed haphazardly wherever they’d fit, shards of glass in one corner, and tile floor splattered with a Pollock-esque layer of paint. In one word? Chaotic. Such was the type of environment that seemed to suit Cassandra best, the sort in which you imagined she would thrive. But you didn’t have time to examine anything as closely as you would have liked to. “Are you going to keep me waiting?”

“No, Lady Cassandra,” you reply, hurriedly, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. Then you’re quickly crossing the room, to what looks like a cross between a storage cabinet and a paint mixing station. In Cassandra’s hands, however, you find something less welcoming than a paintbrush: A needle and an empty blood bag. Well, you think, I guess I know why I’m here. At least there’s only one bag, right? “What do you require of me, my Lady?” While the answer was fairly obvious, you didn’t know the specific steps necessary, and it never hurt to be as polite as possible with the Dimitrescu family.

“Just sit down, roll your sleeves up, look pretty, and stay still. Try not to make any noises this time- as cute as they were last time, I have a headache,” Cassandra explains, gesturing towards the room’s only chair. Ignoring the way your cheeks heated up, you did as she asked, trying to get relatively comfortable. It was somewhat difficult to relax, considering who you were with. “Calm down, pet, I’m only going to hurt you a little. That’s more than I can say for most people who end up here.” Why did she have to use a nickname for you? Weren’t you already flushed enough without her teasing you further? Though your flustering does turn to confusion after a moment, as you wonder how she knew how afraid you were. You were under the impression that you were hiding it fairly well. Noticing your reaction, Cassandra rolls her eyes, before leaning in to whisper in your ear. “I can hear your heartbeat. Normally I’d find this… exciting. But my head hurts and I wanted to finish this damn painting yesterday. So take a deep breath, little pet, and let me take what I need from you.”

Of course she had to say it like that, and put herself so close to you. You’re pretty sure that your heart skips a few beats in response, though Cassandra doesn’t react beyond a hint of a smile, merely returning to her prep work. First step was cleaning your skin. Admittedly you hadn’t been sure if that step was necessary, seeing as the blood was (seemingly) for art as opposed to testing, but it didn’t exactly surprise you. Besides, there was a chance she’d drink the leftovers, right? Next she double-checked that the needle was properly connected to the blood bag, and that the latter was resting securely on a small stand. With that out of the way, it was time for her favorite part.

“Since your heartbeat has slowed down a little… I’ll let you whimper if you want to- but only once. Consider it a reward for good behavior,” Cassandra purrs with a familiar grin. One hand gently cups your chin, while her eyes look right in yours, just long enough to turn your cheeks bright red. The moment ends as quickly as it started. Before you know it she’s turned stoic again, feeling along your arm for a vein. This isn’t the first time you’ve had your blood drawn, but Cassandra takes no time at all to find the perfect spot, likely from a mix of practice and, well, her vampiric nature. It’s not long before she’s gently gripping your arm with one hand, briefly making eye contact before pushing the needle into your skin. Does it hurt? Hardly. Do you take a shaky inhale, hoping to please your employer, the closest to a whimper you were willing to give her? Oh, absolutely. And does she react? Oh, absolutely. Her eyes light up for a second as she bites her lower lip. There’s something else in her expression that you can’t quite read, however.

“Enjoying this, hmm?” You ask, smiling, voice soft in the hopes of not aggravating her headache. It’s a risk, and one that pays off more than you’d ever expect. Cassandra giggles a tad, eying you with the least mischievous smile you’ve ever seen from her. If not for the needle still in your arm, you might have found the moment charming, or even… romantic. But you pushed the thought away as soon as possible, reminding yourself of your one true goal: Escaping. This was a means to an end. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself. Even as Cassandra ever-so-gently removed the needle from your arm, even as she carefully placed a bandage over the entry-point, even as she gave you a nod of approval.

“This should last until the painting is done, at the very least. I might need you to make another ‘donation’ next week, though. Except, hmm… your blood is quite nice,” Cassandra says. Her tone is smooth, almost sultry, but her gaze is focused on her work as she starts mixing the blood with… something? You weren’t familiar with this particular artistic process, nor did you want to be. “Maybe I’ll set up a nice schedule for you. Once a month you can be my darling little muse, and once a month you can be a refreshing snack. I’ll even make sure that my sisters don’t do anything that might spoil our fun. Assuming you continue to prove entertaining, that is.” You didn’t know whether to feel relieved or worried. In the end you settled for the former, chest thrumming with excitement as you felt yourself getting one step closer to your goal.

—————————

Three months pass by in an easy blur. Just as Cassandra had suggested, you find yourself in her company more often than before. Only twice a month does she take blood from you, for your own safety (which she pretends not to care about), but more and more you find her lounging around where you’re working, obviously by “pure coincidence”. Sometimes she even spoke to you! Teasing here and there, or asking you to do things that she normally did for herself, or scaring you just to hear you make one of your “lovely noises”. Honestly, you weren’t sure whether you were more surprised by how attached she had gotten to you, or by how quickly it had happened. Of course, you didn’t even know if she enjoyed your personality… or just your blood. Either way, you found yourself enjoying her presence more than you’d ever openly admit.

Eventually, when the benefits of your budding “friendship” became more clear, you started to enjoy it even more.

It was early in the morning, right when the castle residents tended to go to sleep, and when the night shift officially ended. Minutes prior you had been conversing quietly with Cassandra, dusting some shelves as you did. Now, with your duties done only slightly later than usual, you were making your way back to your quarters. Along the way you were caught off guard by the sound of distant crying. ‘Twas a sound you’d heard many times before, from many different maidens, but this time felt… different. An odd feeling of sympathy sparked in your chest, and you made the brash decision to approach the source of the noise. When you rounded that last corner, when you made eye contact with the trembling figure, you knew that your kindness could very well be the death of you. To think that you had once hoped for this encounter.

“Who’s there?” Bela Dimitrescu snarls through chattering teeth. She’s moving forward, phasing in and out of swarm mode, reaching a hand out to clutch at your throat. Well, you think, at least she’s stopped crying? More so out of being distracted, instead of feeling any comfort from your company. It’s not a terribly reassuring thought, but it’s soon replaced with a mental string of ???? as Bela pauses, grip loosening as she holds you up in the light. “You’re Cassandra’s new favorite. Damnit!” With that she drops you rather unceremoniously. Then she’s turning her back to you, sniffling before wiping the tears from her eyes. “Don’t tell anyone about this, or I won’t hesitate to string you up, no matter what my sister says. Now get lost.”

Except you can’t force yourself to move. There’s a small piece of you that remembers your original plan, another small part feels a twinge of sympathy, and a majority of your brain sees this as an opportunity. What was a little more risk?

“Would you like me to bring you some tea, Lady Bela?” You ask, attempting to keep your tone neutral, lest she think you were judging her. In response, she turns to look at you slowly, eyes narrowed, thinly veiled rage only outweighed by the remnants of her anxiety. Then she’s stalking forward with cautious, deliberate movements. For a moment she searches your eyes for any hints at your motive. Hoping to ease her worries, you elaborated on your offer, and the reasoning behind it. “I’ve read that holding something warm in your hands, like a mug of tea or coffee, relaxes the brain. I believe it had something to do with mimicking human touch?... Forgive me if I’m overstepping your boundaries, my Lady. I… I felt compelled to ask, to help in whatever way I can.”

“Oh?” Bela hums, the majority of the anger draining from her face. There’s a hint of genuine surprise behind her bright eyes. “Very well, if you say it might… help.” Before you can turn to leave, you hear her clear her throat, and say one last thing. “A little softer than I would have expected from a pet of Cassandra’s.” She certainly had a point. But you don’t bother responding, instead focusing on your self-given task. In the back of your mind, you wonder if you were really Cassandra’s “pet”, or if there was more to your dynamic. Why did you feel so weird about the idea of being a mere “distraction” to her?... Something to think about while you made that tea, you supposed.

—————————

When you assisted with serving lunch the next day, Bela refused to make eye contact, even as you set a plate in front of her, or when you refilled her wine glass. There was a stiffness in the room that you weren’t familiar with. For the most part, Cassandra is more welcoming, giving you a small nod when you meet her gaze. By the time the family is done eating and moves to leave, the sisters are grouping together to speak in hushed voices. While you clean up after them, you cannot help but wonder if they’re discussing the previous night, or if Bela was as adamant about keeping quiet as she had seemed. Regardless, you felt rather good about how the conversation had gone. Hopefully she’s feeling better, you think, surprising yourself. Not that it matters… unless she tells Cassandra, I suppose.

You don’t see her for the rest of the day. It’s a double-edged sword, in a way. On one hand, you find yourself missing her, unused to not interacting with her at all. On the other hand? All the sudden you’re realizing just how involved she’s become with you. Certainly that meant something? Progress towards your eventual goal of escaping? God, you sure hoped so. Thinking about the future, about your plans, lasts you the entire night, thoughts following you all the way into bed. Sleep feels a million years away, and you find yourself staring silently at the ceiling. Unmoving. Damn near unblinking. When there’s the sound of footsteps outside your room, you are more than welcome for the distraction.

“Wake up, little pet,” a voice calls, as your door opens, and someone quickly slips inside. Before you can even sit up, you feel them slide into the bed with you. “It’s too cold in my room. You’re much warmer, aren’t you?” Clearly your darling Cassandra come to entertain herself. Considering how late in the day it is, you feel like you should be upset, and yet you feel yourself daring to wrap your arms around her. For a moment she goes stiff, but she soon relaxes into your touch. “You’re getting so good at knowing what I want from you. Mmm, I think I’ve trained you well,” she teases, shifting onto her back so she can pull you onto her chest. Although you’ve been this close to her before, this is the first time you’ve realized just how cold her skin is. No wonder she wants to sleep with me, you think, blushing at your unintentional wording.

“Fuck, you’re freezing,” you mumble, curling up against her nonetheless. She’s laughing then, without any hint of her usual malice, and you can’t help but laugh with her. When had the two of you gotten so warm with each other? Why did it feel so natural? There’s anxiety gnawing at the base of your skull, threatening to build up into a headache, tugging you away from the softness of the moment. If Cassandra notices, she’s quicker to act than you would have expected. It feels safer to believe that her next actions are a coincidence. Feels… better, when you remember that you are playing her for cheap, that any friendliness is a mockery made for the most bitter of betrayals to come.

“That’s why I’m here, dear. Now hush, I need some rest. With how comfortable you are… I may even let you sleep in,” she teases, before pressing the gentlest kiss to the top of your head. Your throat dries up in response, blush overtaking your cheeks, and you are left unable to speak. The thundering of your heart seems to somehow lull your would-be lover to sleep, while you find yourself growing to love the contrast her chill provides. Somehow, someway, you end up sleeping more soundly than you have in years.

—————————

Another month passes. No opportunities to escape, no grand moves to make in this 4D game of chess, no clever plans to entangle yourself in. Yet you find yourself content. Happy. The work keeps you as busy as ever, but Cassandra often steals you away for her own desires. When she goes to drink your blood, she does so gently, with many soft kisses leading into the big moment. Afterwards she cleans your wound herself, touches as light as a feather, eyes sparkling with unspoken affection. At night, you find her coming to you for warmth almost every day. At first she provides little more than teasing excuses. But in time, she becomes more open, even being so bold as to kiss you on the lips every time, greeting you with quiet “dear”s and “darling”s. It gets to the poin that you cannot sleep without her presence.

Day after day, you find it harder and harder to remember why you were doing this. Was it so bad to enjoy your time with her? Was it so bad to find yourself leaning into her touches, kissing her back, gleefully awaiting your nightly rendezvous with her? Sometimes the thoughts were overwhelming, guilt and shame alike dancing inside your chest. Those days were the hardest to get through. Somehow, again and again, you go to her for comfort. To the very source of your conflict. Every last feeling was driving you towards an inevitable point. A conclusion written in stone, one that had been decided from the very first time Cassandra dug her fangs into your neck.

—————————

Screaming. Horrible, horrible screaming, somehow more pained than that of any maiden you had ever heard, echoing throughout the castle halls, achingly familiar in tone. You had never heard her scream before, and yet you knew that the sound came from Cassandra. Before you can even begin to process your realization, you are thundering through the corridor, towards the noise that rattled your mind so desperately. How could anything possibly hurt her? How often had you seen her push her siblings around, each of them taking hits that could break bones as if they were light shoves? As if the punches tickled? Horror overtakes your thoughts, imagination far worse than reality had any right to be.

When you at last reach your lover, you are frozen in your tracks, eyes wide as can be. There she is, howling with both rage and pain as someone repeatedly slams the butt of a rifle into her head. Behind the fighting duo is a sight you never thought you’d see: An open door. Wide open, enticing, leading straight into the world you had sought to rejoin. You want to leave. God, you want to leave so bad. This is what you have been waiting for- Cassandra has not even seen you yet, too busy grappling with her attacker, movements too slow to be normal. What was wrong? Why were her limbs such a strange color? Was that… frost on her clothes? Or… crystal? Your gaze flickers back and forth between her and the exit, as time seems to pause, memories of the past few months racing through your mind. Goddamnit, you think, this is what I want, isn’t it? Consequences be damned, right? I said I wouldn’t stop for anything.

And so you move, automatically, on autopilot, unable to think about anything other than what you treasured most: Cassandra. One moment you’re standing still in the foyer, the next you’re grabbing a poker from the fireplace. You’ve never done anything like this before, but the movements come naturally, as you surge towards the scrambling pair. In one swift motion you drive the metal rod into the skull of the intruder, hating the sound, hating the splatter of blood against your clothes, hating the feeling of resistance followed by a terrible, terrible give. But the man slumps almost immediately, allowing your girlfriend to shove him off of herself. Still unable to think coherently, you’re throwing yourself into her arms.

“Holy shit, holy shit, oh my god, I- I, fuck. Are you…? Fucking tell me that you’re okay, please,” you ramble, holding the dangerously cold body of your girlfriend close to you, refusing to let go. She’s crying, clinging to you as desperately as you cling to her. But she’s responding in the affirmative. Over and over, saying she’s okay, telling you that it’s okay. Before you know it, she’s the one comforting you.

“Hey, hey, look at me. Okay? Look at me, take a deep breath. If anyone should be freaking out it’s me,” she says, pulling back enough to cup your cheek with one hand. There’s blood on her fingers, making your eyes go wide, but she quickly wipes it off with a scowl. Then she’s caressing your skin again, soft repeating motions perfect for calming you down. “That’s right, see? We’re fine. You’re a fucking badass, darling, and honestly? It’s very attractive.” Now you’re both giggling, you a bit more than her. Because of course she’s flirting right now. It’s an incredible softness. One that you, quite frankly, do not feel you deserve. At first it’s a tiny voice in the back of your head, but it soon grows until it strikes the smile from your lips. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, really,” you interject, as fast as you can, ignoring the tears pricking the corners of your eyes. Cassandra isn’t convinced, however, and gives you a pleading look. Knowing that you cannot resist her, you close your eyes, sighing, then admit your wretched truth. “The door. Cassandra, the door’s open. I… I came down the hallway and I saw the two of you and I saw the fucking door and I… I hesitated. I hesitated.” There’s a mighty tremble to your voice, teeth and lips shaking. In the moment, you cannot bring yourself to meet her gaze, eyes instead glued to the bloodstained floor. It’s so quiet that you swear you can hear your tears hitting the tile. The air around you is filled with a looming heartache, a shadow over the two of you, hungry for your tears. But the rage you anticipate from Cassandra never comes.

For fuck’s sake, she pulls you closer. She takes you in her arms, making you rest your head against her chest, one hand gently rubbing circles into your back. Shock makes you unable to do anything other than linger limply in her grip. Thankfully, she has more than enough words for the both of you.

“Of course you did. All you ever wanted was to escape, right? And all I ever wanted was to see how much fun I could get out of you before you betrayed us,” she admits, coolly, as if the words didn’t break both of your hearts. At first, you merely start crying harder, realizing that she had seen through you this whole time. Realizing that all of her softness had just been sharpness covered in sheep’s clothing. Except she’s not done talking. “Now look at us. Couple of idiots who caught feelings. So shut up, because we’re in this mess together, now, and I don’t intend to let you go, understood? You-” she pulls back, looking you right in the eyes- “are mine. Besides… you just killed for me. I think that more than makes up for any hesitance, yeah?” Before you know it you’re kissing her. You’re pressing yourself to her, smiling through your tears, forced to pause to laugh at yourself. How ridiculous had this whole affair been? How had you convinced yourself, for so long, that escape was all you had cared about?...

All this time you thought you wanted out. But at the end of the day… you just wanted to go home. How could you have guessed that you would have found a new home, here, in someone’s arms? Despite the surprise of it all… you couldn’t be happier.

#cassandra dimitrescu #cassandra x reader #cassandra dimitrescu x reader #resident evil: village #re8 village #the soft to your sharp

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laurore-stormwitch · 3 years

Text

The time Zoya saves Nikolai in the Fold. The time Nikolai asks her to be his general. And the times when they had win their battles and they can tell each other of those times.

This is dedicated to @tricewithaz because she specifically requested it and we came up with some nice hc. It’s so fun to explore how they met and how their relationship was built. the times we made a choice - ao3

word count: 10.417

“Do you plan on keeping some order on this desk or do I have to incinerate your work with a gust of fire?”, Zoya grunted, eyeing the absolute mess he had left after working in her sitting room all evening as he waited for her to come back from a private state dinner. She slumped beside him, huffing a tired breath and shutting her eyes. Nikolai closed the novel he had stolen from her nightstand, turning to her with a grin.

“I’m very glad to have your goodnight spite reserved for me, Nazyalensky.”

She turned to him, eyelids fluttering open, and the corner of her mouth quirked up in a smile. A wave of aching affection washed over him at the sight of her. His darkened fingers disappeared in her silky hair, skimming on the skin of her neck. A shiver went through her.

Nazyalensky. The habit of using her name like this had turned from provoking her to scowl to getting himself an annoyed but affectionate look. It possessed a different power, now that he knew it was an identity she had chosen for herself so long ago. Nikolai had waited to see if she would desire to change it, but he had the sense she was attached to it. It was hers, it was the promise of a new life she had made to a little girl long ago, and this made her feel conflicted. She was slowly embracing the parts of her past that could finally complete her, wandering through what she had missed in denying a part of herself; yet, some ghosts were more haunting than others.

“Do you remember the first time I called you that?”, Nikolai asked, if only for the sake of distracting her from another tiresome and tedious day of meetings. Zoya peered at him under her lashes. That was the look she wore when she was pondering whether to indulge his nonsense or just let him ramble her into sleep, with the engulfing solace of his voice frantically telling her about his new invention of the moment or the last thing they made explode at the Fabrikator’s lab. Her hand came to adjust his collar in an unconscious gesture.

“I’m not sure”, she admitted. He traced the soft curve of her lips with his thumb, smirking.

“It was when you saved me. I mean, the first of the many times you did that.”

Zoya looked dubious. “Was it though?”

“You remember something else?”

He was positively sure. When it came to Zoya, his memory rarely failed him. Still, a part of him did want to hear what she remembered. Zoya being willing to talk was a treasured rare occurrence.

“I think it’s when you made me your General”, Zoya asserted, cushioning her head on his forearm.

***

He was flying, and then he was falling.

When the blade went through the Darkling heart and his blood soaked the Fold’s barren sands, Nikolai’s wings disappeared in an inconsistent smoke.

He was fighting, and then he was surrendering.

The world started drowning in darkness, the shadows curling around its outlines and growing like a monstrous tide that devoured every living being on its path. He remembered the clouded sky, the shrieks of the volcras, the stink of fire and gunpowder. If that was how the bastard prince’s fight was going to end, his mind thanked the Saints for giving him that one last moment as himself. The demon retracted, leaving Nikolai on his own as he dove toward his demise. Yet, it would be fine. They would win. And Nikolai would never see what could become of his country.

He was dying. And then, without warning, he was floating.

Or sort of. A sudden gust of wind slammed on his back, slowing his helpless fall on the ground. The prince had only a split moment of consciousness to be glad before crashing onto earth, the blow hard enough that he heard the sound of his ribs cracking, of the air forcefully snatched out his lungs. The world went dark.

He was breathing. A strike of ravaging pain splitted his chest in two. He thought he had opened his eyes, but his vision was blurred as he forced his eyelids not to fall shut. Inhaling felt like a burning flame scorching his throat. He wanted to move, to get up, to take his weapon and resume the fight. He wanted to rest. He wanted.

“Try and be still”, a distant voice murmured beside him.

His vision sharpened, bolts of pain running through his battered body. Nikolai did not know how long he had passed out, if it was hours or mere seconds. Was he seeing the sea again? Was he coming back to the restless waters he loved with woeful neediness? For a brief moment, there was peace. He was home.

Then, another breath tore his lungs, the searing ache canceling the blur. It wasn’t the sea; he found himself lost in a pair of impossible blue eyes, deep and dark as the oceans he had sailed with his wolf of the waves. He grasped at them.

“Don’t move'', the voice whispered, shuddering.

A girl, with raven-black hair and blood smeared on her cheek. Her fingers tightened around his wrist, checking his pulse, while she held the back of his neck with the other arm. Her hold was firm, comforting; yet, Nikolai felt a tremor coming from her, her tone desperate. He knew her, something inside him told him as his consciousness slowly slid back into place. He knew her; he remembered her laugh, in the brief excitement David’s dishes for Alina had brought them before being shattered by the nichevo’ya. He knew her from dimly lit hallways made of rock under a mountain, where they had thought they could hide from the monsters lurking in the shadows. His lashes blinked away the mist and he gripped her arm, steadying himself; the girl startled, shifting her gaze and locking those unearthly eyes back on his again. Were his still black? Was he still the demon, or was he himself again? Another remembrance rushed as his mind finally cleared of the last strands of darkness, restoring all his awareness, all of himself. The squaller, the stubborn one, with that insanely acid tongue. Zoya. The grip on her arm grew stronger, he wanted to part his lips, to speak. He wanted.

“Damn, stop moving. I need to make sure I saved you. No way I’m letting Ravka’s only hope die on me, are we clear?”

Anguish cut through the edge of her tone, cracking it. Zoya, the proud one. The one he had overheard standing up for the Etherealki in the face of every disdain she had earned from them. Zoya, who had fought her way through their reckless warfare strategies with the grace and precision of a hawk diving for a prey. With the snarky words she had sent his way whenever they had crossed paths, her piercing gaze studying everyone around her, always surprising him with a biting response. Zoya Nazyalensky, the impossibly beautiful and equally mysterious summoner who all the other Grisha gossiped about. Kneeling on the dirt beside him right now with an endless well in her sight, full of sorrow and terror. It was the aftermath of the battle, probably. Probably.

Zoya the soldier. Alina’s soldier, Ravka’s soldier, the king’s soldier. His soldier, now.

“Nazyalensky”, he rasped out, mustering all the strength he could find. Relief flooded her face, making her lips quiver. Not too gently, she shook his hand from her arm, her look hardening. Nikolai felt the horrifying moist consistency of blood on his hands; he could not dwell on where it was coming from, either his own wounds, the ones of the girl beside him, or the ones coming from the lives he had snatched with his infernal claws.

“Good. The blow on your head did not shatter your brain.”

Cutting as a blade. As she scanned the ground around, he found her havoc-raging presence weirdly heartening. Nikolai was only dimly aware of the mayhem still breaking out. There was a muffled quiet around them; he realized that it was probably Zoya’s doing, hushing the sounds in the air. An unforgiving wind flowed, kicking up the grey sand; it seemed to reverberate directly from Zoya’s trembling body. The squaller ran a hand through her hair and her face, shoving dirt and red streams on her skin. She was shaken. It would take her a few more battles to get used to this. Maybe she never would. If he wasn’t lying half dead on the ground, he would have felt tempted to reach for her, to comfort her. The wind rose as she swore out, spreading her black mane around her, still frantically searching for help with her gaze. Saints, Nikolai thought, this girl is powerful. She snapped at him.

“For Saints sake are you capable of staying still? I have to fetch you a Healer”, Zoya barked.

Nikolai tried to get himself up, ignoring the excruciating ache in his chest, steadying himself on her shoulder with his right arm. “This would be a perfect moment to indulge in regicide”, he tried, another burst of pain running through him and causing him to cough violently.

“I might consider it if you don’t stop moving”, she murmured in response, scanning him for injuries other than his broken ribs and a likely dislocated shoulder, considering his other arm felt like it was catching on fire when he had tried to lift it. Nikolai caught a movement behind her, tried to gather the strength to get up, to follow the instinct to protect her. Zoya was faster, followed his eyes and threw her fist upward in that direction with a frustrated yell; a violent rush of air hit a soldier aiming at them, sending him toppling to the ground. “I’m trying to keep you alive, you idiot”, she raised her voice, and with it a thunder echoed in the field. Was it being called forth by her? Whatever she was doing, she did not seem aware of it. “You have a country to run. So don’t distract me.”

Someone else was rushing toward them, but this time she looked relieved, which meant whoever they were, they were on their side. That help was coming, that they were almost safe.

“Then you should handle me more gently”, Nikolai spoke again, voice unpleasantly screeching the walls of his throat like nails on a mirror.

What was happening around them? Blinding rays were coming from upward as Alina’s power rumbled into the Fold in whistling sounds, shredding every inch of it into light. He heard muffled voices, Zoya barking commands. Nikolai reached for her again, he clenched his fingers in the folds of her kefta; the hold on her tied him to earth, tied his mind to a world that still felt too unreal and too far away, as it had felt when he had been looking at it with demon eyes. This time, she did not shove him away. A young boy with a red dusted kefta kneeled before him, placing his hands on his chest. Zoya unceremoniously slipped her arm away from below him, lowering him to the ground to let the Healer work. Nikolai hissed when his back hit the sand, shooting her a glare. She shrugged her shoulders, raising her hands in fighting stance to keep them safe, scanning the area for other enemies.

“I hardly am gentle, prince”, Zoya spat out, alert.

"Did we win?"

Now she sent a swift gaze his way, drawing in an unsteady breath. "I think so", she answered with tentative hope. The Healer’s powers were doing their magic, a warmth flooding him and numbing his senses. He fought it, not wanting to lose consciousness again, to fall back into the unknown.

"Then I'm fairly sure I'm going to be crowned. You should go with Your Highness."

Wit was his. Humour, brilliance, the might to find words when voice was failing you, when air was rare, was his. Not the demon. It was Sturmhond’s cocky attitude he had kept when he had been shot and nearly bled out, it was Nikolai’s charming attire when he had rode with Dominik through village fairs and then military encampments, the optimism he had tried to feed since when he had been just a boy. It was what provoked that shadow of an exasperated smile on the squaller’s face, the twitch in her lips promptly straightened again in a thin, severe line.

"You’re a wretch”, she scolded him, turning her attention from their surroundings to the Healer that was sealing his wounds. “There’s little royalty in you right now.”

“Still a king.”

The Grisha boy cleared his throat and nodded to her. “I did the best I could, we need to get him to a tent and someone more trained”, he explained, his remark shaky. “But he is out of danger.”

Zoya exhaled, her eyelids falling shut for a mere instant. The wind slowed down; her hands were still trembling when she ran them again through her hair.

“Do you want me to take care of - “, the boy tried to ask, pointing to her. Her eyes flew open then, firm determination in them.

“We need to get going”, she cut him off. She got up with a swift movement; Nikolai caught the hand she extended to him, letting her help him to a standing position that made all of his muscles and bones howl in protest. He staggered, his knees failing to keep him up. Zoya looped an arm around his back and made him lean on her side; he gripped on her shoulders, hating himself for feeling so weak, for having to rely his weight on her. Her kefta was badly bloodied and ripped, she had a deep cut that ran over her hip and other bruises; it was difficult to assess how injured she was, yet there they were, her will tougher than the hell they had just been through.

“Then you’re a King wretch”, she mumbled from under him. She barely reached up to his chin. What a tiny ball of spite and power she was. They started to make their way toward the outlines where the Fold ended once, when it still existed. “Better? Now let me save you. You have work to do.”

With another pang of relief Nikolai recognized Tolya in the distance, the flash of white of Alina’s hair lifting up from the ground. They were alive. He could not think of much else right now, not until they reached them, until they were safe. And all properly healed, he thought, checking Zoya’s limp and how she pressed on the gash in her flank with the hand that was not supporting him.

“Are you hurt?”, he asked, winded from the effort of putting one foot in front of the other, unable to conceal his worry. Zoya startled and looked up to him, her blue irises wide and exhausted, vulnerable for the span of a flutter.

“I’ll be fine”, she said, somehow softer than before. “Just keep walking.”

Nikolai put all of his remaining energy into subtly pulling away, relieving her from some of the weight. If she noticed his effort, she did not tell. His head emptied of anything but their cautious steps, Zoya’s ragged breathing beside him, her wind running with them, shielding them from harm.

“King wretch. I like it”, he muttered back.

Kings better not take themselves too seriously, after all. It was nice to have someone remind him of that.

***

Nikolai did not mind the paperwork that came with being a ruler. It felt almost comforting to see the slow improvements his country was making under his watch written on paper, sealed with ink and brought to life. He had decided to dedicate himself to the good news today, that maybe he had earned an afternoon of peace inside the quiet of his study. The wheels kept restlessly turning inside his brain, relieving the images of the tour they had taken across torn cities and miserable villages after his coronation, and for a couple of hours he just wanted to forget about them. Contrary to every concern he had held, the people travelling with him had made the grueling trip all the more bearable; they had run against time itself, wearing their horses down and getting little to no sleep at all, resting not more than one night at every stop to be back in Os Alta as soon as possible. He had felt even hopeful, at times. The same kind of jittery expectancy that made him check his time piece for the tenth time in a row and try to stop the rhythmic beating of his foot on the floor, without dwelling too much on the knot of eagerness in his stomach. When the pointer clicked on the chime of the hour, a knock resounded in the room. She was always almost eerily on time.

“Come in”, called Nikolai to the door, folding the letter he was skimming through. A valet entered and cleared his throat.

“Your Highness”, he bowed deeply, “Miss Nazyalensky is here as you requested. Shall I let - “

The squaller marched in the room, surpassing the poor valet as if he was an inconsistent blur of annoyance.

“Miss Nazyalensky”, she hissed under her breath, flicking her hair over her shoulder, ”I am no Miss, and I am perfectly able to let myself in.”

Nikolai arched an amused brow at her, kindly dismissing the servant. A disdainful glare was cast in the direction of the valet’s deferent curtsy as she strode in front of the king’s seat. Zoya never bowed. For anyone. He lounged in his chair, turning all of his focus on the gorgeous harpy that now stood before him, spine straight, chin high and defiant eyes pinned on him. She clasped her hand behind her back with her usual military countenance.

“You called for me, Your Highness?”

“I did”, he confirmed, straightening his legs before him and crossing them at the ankle. There constantly seemed to be a slight mockery in the way she indulged in his title. He folded his hands, still studying her. The vague nuisance with which she was eyeing him was clear enough to make him smirk at her.

“I hear the Triumvirate has done some grand process in these first few weeks”, Nikolai stated, gesturing to the documents on his desk. “I’ve been informed that many Grisha are seeking refuge in the Little Palace. And I also hear you’ve been reconstructing. I do have hope we will be able to put the Second Army back into shape.”

Zoya did not answer, merely kept looking at him with the barest nod of her chin. The king was not used to people being so untouched by his presence, or to be that annoyingly silent around him. He would not admit he had spent part of the last weeks trying to catch her off guard with an astounding lack of results.

“Would you agree with the reports?”

His question seemed to ignite a spark of interest through her immovability. He had noticed that while she had no issue in voicing her opinions strongly, she seemed not equally accustomed to people directly consulting her with a true interest in her point of view. Maybe he was reading too much into things, but he had guessed Zoya liked how he had started to value her input.

“We are indeed making progress”, Zoya said, “but there is a lot of work to be done. We’re only starting.” She paused, seemingly pondering her words. “We need - “

“Before we start making requests”, his interruption earned himself an irritated glare, “I called you in because I have something to ask. To the whole three of you, actually; I asked Genya and David too.” Yet, somehow, her answer was the one he was most curious about. “Alina gave you the Triumvirate. You know what to expect from it now. And you’ve got just a mere taste; what’s to come will be tougher, tiresome. While I assume you have the motivation to keep your position, I do prefer to give people a choice when it comes to demanding tasks. So I’m asking: do you still want it?”

“I do.” There was no hesitation, only urge in the way the answer rolled out of her. She took a step in his direction and cleared her throat. “Not just the Triumvirate. I want to train the new Grisha. And we need to speed up the process on the royal order stating Grisha’s rights. If we are to rally them, they need to feel truly safe here.”

Nikolai kept his expression neutral, although he was pleasantly impressed. He knew she had taken it upon herself to start working with the Grisha finding shelter in the Little Palace, and the kids being taken there. He would not have made her out to be someone who loved teaching; then again, it was hard to make her out for anything. As far as her initiative went, he had quickly understood how his status meant little to her. After all, they were kids themselves. She was a year younger than him, and she had seen him shift between his roles of privateer, prince and what someone might call usurper. Never failing to point the last one out to him, if one had to be precise; Saints forbid he could ever possibly forget he needed to earn a respect that was not freely given. Surely not by Zoya Nazyalensky. He would not expect from her the humble demeanor of a subject in front of a king. Thank the Saints for that, he found himself thinking. Her bracing self was almost soothing, after weeks of dealing with people smarming at his feet, and hers was the company he had found himself searching for more often than others, as wicked as she might be. Zoya never overstepped without a reason, apart from a common snarky energy that was profoundly her. What she did was to call him out on every dumb decision he leaned toward, and constantly remind him how to be worthy of his position and the love of his people.

“We can arrange that”, he decided to answer, satisfied by how her pupils widened at his prompt concession. He got up and opened a bottle of brandy, pouring himself a glass. He glanced back at her, still planted in the middle of the room.

“You were loyal to the Darkling.” Nikolai was sure he had not imagined the flash of anger that darkened the blue of her eyes, nor how her jaw clenched and her posture seemed to tense. “Pardon me for being so forthright, but I do feel like it’s better to deal with the tedious matter first.” Or rather the interesting ones you seem to keep an aura of secrecy around.

When she spoke, her voice was not as firm as before. “We’ve worked together for weeks and known each other for longer. I wonder if you have a suicidal strike or you are really questioning my loyalty now.”

“No suicidal strike, and I’m not questioning anything.” The heartfelt honesty in him seemed to reassure her. Her shoulders eased ever so slightly, yet her features remained strained. “As you dutifully pointed out, the time for that has long passed. However, since we’re getting to know each other, I guess you’ll find I like stories. This seems like a good one.”

“Stories are earned”, Zoya asserted, slitting eyes and matter of factly tone.

“Fine point. You were, though”, Nikolai pressed. Her look never wavered from his. Unconsciously he leaned toward her, rolling his glass between his fingers.

“I was.”

“What changed?”

“Everything.”

Silence stretched on. Nikolai decided he could wait a while, if it meant gaining some other insight. He did know part of the story, the part that was ushered by people when she strode beside them. Stories might need to be earned, but they also needed to be told by the ones who had lived them. Nikolai was not one to listen to gossip anyway. Sure enough, she resumed speaking, catching that he was not going to drop the subject.

“It got personal. I was loyal to him because I craved power, then because I believed he could provide a home for us. Instead, he stripped from me the only one I had and slaughtered my friends. Enough of a reason?”

Zoya proudly lifted her chin even higher, her words back to being stinging as an icy wind, the anger burning in her seeping through the tremor in her hands. She moved closer. A slight breeze swept through the room, rustling the papers, called forth by her emotions in turmoil. He remembered when it happened in the Fold, when her despair had raised the wind around them and a thunder had boomed.

They were no more than two steps apart, now; the gust she summoned carried a scent Nikolai struggled to place as her hair lifted up. It reminded him of the heat of a sunny day, of the field near Dominick's house when spring came, when his little sisters would run back into the kitchen with crowns made of daisies and golden ears of wheat. Was it the pressed corn caught in the evening mist? Was it flowers?

“I won’t beg for trust. Words are empty vessels, actions carry meaning. The choice is yours: either you let me prove myself, or you discard me now.”

She kept her fierce piercing eyes to his, every inch the warrior. Nikolai held her gaze, hazel melting into blue, a small smile tugging at his lips, struck by the force of her nature and her fuming reaction.

“Here I thought I was the dramatic one”, he chuckled, ignoring her scowl and pulling his hands up in surrender. He slipped inside a reassuring attitude. “I was really not questioning you. Alina trusted you, she chose you. You fought for all of us. I’ve seen the way you stood up for your people, I’ve always agreed with Alina. This is your home; you already proved yourself, more than enough.”

The wind ceased to flow; Zoya flexed her fingers, a rage made of guilt and regret still paining her look. Nikolai knew the place from where those feelings came. Maybe picking at that was not a sensible idea after all. He would need to stop outright testing both her patience and his luck like this; the temptation she was brewing of roasting him alive right now was evident. He was still measuring his steps around her, how she seemed to dive into arguments that would make anyone on earth feel at least uncomfortable, or close right off when someone touched seemingly irrelevant nerves.

“Besides”, Nikolai let the smile spread in her direction, “I am in dire need of allies.”

And friends, he thought sourly, yet a king can rarely ask for those.

“Unnerving them sure seems a smart way to ensure your supposed allies’ support”, she clipped out, shaking her cuffs.

“I like to test my chances.” His words were accompanied by a shrug. The urge to take another step toward her pressed in the back of his brain. “You haven’t unleashed a storm on me yet, so I’d say we’re halfway through a steady relationship of trust and mutual forbearance.”

“Mutual, sure.”

Nikolai tapped his finger on the desk. It seemed he could not stay still. “You’ll need to work together”, he advised, “with Genya and David.”

“I do well on my own.”

Like she has not made that abundantly clear in the last couple of months.

“Oh, I have no issue in believing that. Still, it wasn’t a suggestion, I’m afraid.”

Zoya’s mouth curved in an honey smile; she fluttered her lashes, tilting her head in his direction, the dark waves of her hair falling on her shoulders. It could have been an almost convincing smile, if it had reached her eyes. Instead, it stood cold on her face, firm as a statue, a pretense of complacency with the clear intent to taunt. Nikolai had no doubt whatsoever that entire crowds of people had fallen on their knees for that feigned sweetness. To be completely truthful, she did throw him off balance. Now it would surely be a reasonable call to put a bit of distance between them. Not that he resorted to reason that often when making decisions.

“I am well aware kings are not in the habit of making requests, Your Highness.” Her voice rippled like silk, delicate and musing, dripping sarcasm. “I was merely informing you.”

“You’re not particularly easy, are you?”, he asked with a grin, leaning back on the desk and folding his arms. An apparently casual movement meant to regain the use of his lungs. The smile vanished as she adjusted her hair.

“I am not easy, nor kind. And I lack the interest to make people search for these qualities in me.”

Nikolai had begun to understand in these weeks the stories around her, more than he had ever understood them before. He had also begun to nurture a sheer curiosity in her regard, for the complex mind she hid and the way she seemed careless to other people's thoughts on her. He tried not to let himself be distracted now, which always proved to be a strenuous task with this particular girl, when she waved that look at him and played the card of the ridiculously attractive and positively enchanting Grisha summoner she undoubtedly was. He did really need to get a grip, though. If they were to work together as closely as he had his mind set to, he had to find a way to make himself immune to her flair, constructed or natural that it was.

Never seduce anyone prettier than I am, right? Or never even conceive to seduce anyone you’re attracted to if you had planned to offer that specific anyone one of the highest-ranking positions in the whole country. An equally wise rule to live by. If only her look was the only appeal he had found in her. Her edgy personality, which people tended to be almost scared of, had captivated him a great deal more; whatever beauty withered in the face of how capable and strong-spirited she was. Qualities that made her all the more desirable. The privateer in him had screamed at the top of his lungs to take on the improbable quest of conquering someone who seemed impervious to him as she did, someone that out of reach, that captivating. Shameful instinct, to say the least. And leaning on the worst-idea-ever side of things.

Besides, he had a country to take care of now; he was no longer a privateer who could make reckless choices and chase after impossible girls. Nikolai Lantsov was a king, the king of a war-torn, desperate place. The challenge of earning her trust and admiration might turn out to be just as endearing; he could embark on that one, letting her bitter tongue put him back into place.

Resorting to his decision, he got a small box out of a drawer, placing it on the desk beside him.

“There’s something else I mean to offer you.”

Zoya eyed the box, while Nikolai bobbed his chin at it, encouraging her to take it. She stood still, her look shifting back to observe him. Truly exasperating the lack of gratifications she offered.

“Contrary to what you believe, I am no fool.” He decided to dive right into it, pushing through her silence. “As much as I hate to admit it, the Darkling was fairly good at reading people. You rose high in his favour because he considered you extremely resourceful and trustworthy, and valued you as a soldier.” Nikolai unfolded his arms and rested his hands on the wooden brink of the desk, pushing himself to her; he lowered his voice with a smirk. “And I know for a fact the reason for that has nothing to do with your very pleasant appearance, which I have no doubt is another weapon you know how to use.”

He backed up again. Life on the sea had taught him to turn weakness into brass. Thankfully, he had spent years practicing the art of acting. Zoya pursed her lips, biting a comeback and momentarily avoiding his gaze. Not that impervious after all. One had to catch on the details.

“I am not blind. Nor do I have reasons to pretend to be. Still, I’m afraid I am far more interested in your wide arsenal of warfare talents.” He took a sip from his glass and hummed teatrichally, cocking his head to the side to assess her. “I do share the burden of being handsome, though. We can whine together about our fatigues.”

That mocking smile was back on her mouth, sparkling with mischief. She spoke with a casual tone, smoothing her kefta. “As much as you brag about it, your charm seems to fail you. Our Sun Saint did not look particularly impressed by it.”

Ah, clever one. Nikolai mustered his composure to flash another grin at her, thoroughly impressed both by her boldness and by the precision of her strike. All right, that stung. Which to her credit only meant she had no fear to bite people where it hurt and a certain ability to find that spot. Useful skills for a General.

“Luckily for me, she was one of a very few number of exceptions.”

“Charm our way through peace, then.” Zoya cast her eyes heavenward, crossing her arms.

“Can I come back to praise you? I wasn’t finished.”

“By all means, do”, she gestured.

“As I was saying. Sadly for our favorite herald of darkness, he was also a prick. Not to mention manipulator and mass murderer, amongst other remarkable successes. He wholly under-estimated you: you are trustworthy and resourceful, along with a lot of other virtues he did not remotely understand nor properly paid attention to.”

Nikolai paused. He put his glass down, yielding to the temptation at last and letting his feet stride toward her. Had she moved more near too? Now they were definitely closer than needed. He could see the darker slivers in her irises, the curls falling inside the fur collar of her uniform.

The smell in the Grand Palace garden after a rainstorm, he thought of that scent. When he had laid in the grass and soaked his clothes in mud, just for the sake of feeling the earth below him and the water on his skin.

“I’ve watched you, these weeks. You are good. Not just at fighting, I believe that is a given. You are good at leading. Your mind is way sharper than your tongue. I’ve studied you with your Etherealki and the other Grisha, with the First Army representatives.``

He made a show of plucking a peck of invisible dust from his coat. Zoya did not move, keeping her attention on him. A sceptical frown appeared on her face.

“You do love to hear yourself talk.”

“I’ve watched you do that, too. You’re bold, in a good way. You tend to deliver neat blows.”

“Are you in the habit of examining all the people that come to work for you?”

“Just the powerful ones”, he admitted.

She might have looked nothing but unimpressed by the string of praises he had just given, as if they were common known truths, nothing of importance to linger on. Her eyes had grown troubled though, then curious, they had softened in the glowing sunset light. They were assessing him with strong intent now, and Nikolai could only think they held the ocean inside. The ocean he had seen when he had thought he would never be back on the waves again, the one that had felt like hope gained with blood and shattered bones in those grey sands.

“You saved me, in the Fold”, Nikolai abruptly said. The twitch in her breath made him understand just how much his demeanor had changed unconsciously, how much the mask of the ruler had slipped away and his unguarded voice betrayed him.

“Indeed.”

“I haven’t had the occasion to thank you properly.”

“It’s my job”, she briskly answered, almost annoyed. “You’re my king.”

You’re my king. Best to ignore the bolt of confidence and pleasure that spiked through his spine.

“Apart from my gratitude, I kind of had in mind to make it your actual job”, the king considered.

Zoya Nazyalensky. Not kind, and not easy. Zoya shot him a suspicious look, but she held her ground.

“It just so happens that both me and the Second Army are in need of a General”, he declared, never shifting his focus from her face. “Would you care to consider taking the position?”

He caught the box in his hand, opening the lid and extending it to her. A medal was shining in it, the golden Ravka double eagle, wrought in in a pale blue sash. Zoya briefly lowered her gaze to it, turning to look at Nikolai with an intensity that was almost impossible to bear. Her look was unreadable, yet the tension in her stiff muscles unmistakable. Nikolai could hardly hide the painful want for her to accept, the thrill he felt at the chance of having someone to rely on, in time, to share some of the burden with. Someone who was not his father’s advisors, someone he could choose. Someone he felt a strange pull toward, a sort of twisted hidden affinity.

Alina chose you, he had told her. The choice is yours, she had told him.

I made the choice. I am the one choosing you now.

The thumping heart in his chest ached at the possibility of making things right for this cursed country with a person he could trust at his side. To ease the loneliness, even if it had to be a game of pretend to some degree. The moments dripped away, her eyes alight with a flame hard to understand. Nikolai restrained his own will to jump into that blazing chaos, knowing how easily he would have lost himself in it.

“You’re making me your General?”, she said finally. The annoyance had disappeared, replaced with a hesitant falter, something that sounded both like disbelief and a flicker of cautious excitement.

“I’m asking you to be my General, if you wish so. I would not force anything on you. The position comes with a lot of heavy responsibilities and long sleepless nights.” Zoya was still frozen in place. Slowly, her arms uncrossed, coming to rest at her sides. “On the brighter side, you’ll get to enjoy endless hours of my company.”

“I’d say the brighter side is the responsibilities one.”

None of the previous snark was contained in her words. He could see how hard she was trying to keep her attitude on her, her own mask.

“You can decide whether to direct your scowls at me or at people annoying you then.”

“You’re assuming you won’t be among the people annoying me. Bold take.”

“I’d wager that’s what I’m mostly going to do”, Nikolai conceded. Zoya was trying to buy time, to ward off his attention. He just wasn’t sure if she needed it to regain her confident self or if she was considering how to refuse the offer. Nikolai did not like the last option, and it was better to rip the band aid off quickly.

“With the prospect of this gain, would you accept?” She peered at him again. He could not hold back a grin. “Did I just surprise you?”

“Please”, she spat out, but it was a little too marked to not be forced. Nikolai fought the impulse to smile wider. “Who else would you choose? Genya, so she can tailor the enemies away? David, to bore them to death with science talks? I’m the most qualified for the job. It’s reasonable of you to ask me.”

“I am not asking you because it’s reasonable.”

Again, reason was not the prime source fueling his judgment. For Saints sake, would you take this damn medal? Nerve racking girl that she was. It was making him fancy her even more.

“I am asking you because you deserved it. I believe you are the right person for this task, in many different ways.”

The weariness in her was still there; he hoped she could see that was not empty flattery anymore, that he had meant it. Finally, finally Zoya reached for the medal. He heard her draw in a sharp breath, a crease appearing between her brows. Nikolai wondered how it would feel to make it disappear, to see her features smooth down. Zoya moved through the world like a soldier with an armor in place, one she kept up with the pure will of her steel spirit and hardened heart. Despite her stillness, power was radiating off of her, the wind once again carrying that distinctive scent.

That small fishermen port they had docked in when the Volkvolny had arrived on the Wandering Isle, the one that was surrounded by pastures and a wide meadow in which an ocean of colourful wildflowers had just sprouted. Wildflowers.

For once in life, Nikolai had hardly an idea of who the person standing in front of him was. The enigmatic, beautiful, fierce squaller. Was she happy? Excited for this chance to serve her country? Terrified by the prospect of what they still had to face? Considering smacking him for being out of his mind? There was something that lurked inside of her under that armor, something in those blue eyes that seemed too painful to be looked at, too intimate to know. It came in shadows, disappearing, as if she was fighting it to stay down, to get it under control. The same bottomless abyss he had seen when she had saved him.

Nikolai knew what it meant, to lose something, to fight for an ideal and see it broken, to finally have the power in your hands to fix what others had crushed. It felt terrifying and exhilarating, and maybe that was what was running in that head of hers now. Zoya brushed her fingers on the golden pin, pulling it up and wrapping it under her hand. She closed her fist, raising her gaze to him, locking their eyes together. The shadows had gone, replaced by a fearless light.

“I’ll need to meet with the First Army generals”, the tone of a leader. “They won’t like this, and since I am fairly sure you don’t care one bit about it, I’ll need to handle them. And I’ll need that document drafted.”

He nodded, pushing down the towering joy that was flooding his chest. Practical. Ruthless, facing the issues head on, not shying away. He twisted and reached for another glass from the cabinet, turning inside his mind the fact that she had accepted, that he was looking at his General now.

“To a long and fruitful partnership, then”, Nikolai offered her the brandy, “or rather to save this broken country and not getting killed in the meanwhile.”

Zoya gave him a stern look. “I don’t drink on the job.”

Why does that not surprise me? He grinned excitedly and raised the glass to her, downing his drink.

“In time, I may teach you to have a little fun, too.”

Unscathed, she just tossed her hair. “Believe me, Your Highness, I am perfectly able to revel in fun. I am just highly selective of the people I allow to share it with me.”

The seducing part really would never be necessary, after all. He had a hunch they were immensely going to enjoy working together and drive each other crazy. I undoubtedly am.

“You’ll teach me how you select those blessed souls, then.”

Before she could resume their banter, another call at the king’s chambers’ entrance interrupted them, bursting the quiet of this comfortable room. The sound seemed to snap Zoya back to herself, making her realize how close they were standing. Nikolai had already been all too aware of it. She quickly moved away from him, not leaving his eyes. Pride back in her expression, shoulders squared. In her silver threaded kefta, she already appeared like the able respected General she would soon grow into. Her medal was closed in her fist, the knuckles white from the force of the grip.

“I will not fail Ravka”, she said, marking every word. I will not fail you, was the rest of the sentence, the part that hung unspoken between them. “I promise you that.”

Nikolai trusted her, without reservations. The king knew he had made the right choice. Both for the country, and, he selfishly thought, for himself. There was a hidden gratitude in her oath, the emotion she would not speak outright but nevertheless felt.

“Brace yourself, Nazyalensky.” He felt positively giddy and already itching for the challenges that fate would throw their way. “It’s going to be one hell of a ride. Take the rest of the evening for yourself, I’m afraid it’s the last moment of peace you’ll have for a while.”

She exhaled, her eyes moving to the window and Os Alta’s pointed domes in the distance.

“Ravka doesn’t consider rest as possible, that much I know.”

She rang for the servant, ignoring they were in Nikolai’s study and he was the one probably supposed to do that. Already moving like she owned the place, deciding the conversation was over. Zoya gave him a long, deep look.

“Goodnight, Your Highness.”

Nikolai fell back on his chair, watching her go as one of the old king’s advisors was accompanied inside the study. Surely a less pleasurable company for the evening. Both for the eyes and for the soul, he thought, forcing himself to wave a welcoming expression to the white-bearded man and his ridiculously long mustaches.

“Miss Nazyalensky”, the advisor greeted her with a half bow as she passed beside him on her way to the hallway. Zoya simply rolled her eyes, strolling toward the door with a last nod at Nikolai. He was sorry to see her go. Before she got out, Nikolai took the impulse and called to the man before him.

“General”, he corrected him, ignoring his shocked expression, “it’s General Nazyalensky now.”

Nikolai did not miss the slight misstep Zoya took at his words. Her kefta wirled as her gaze snapped to his. A beat passed. Without a sign of acknowledgment, Zoya looked away, that scent he had finally placed disappearing with her. Nikolai thought it best not to tell her that she hadn’t been quick enough to hide; he had seen her lashes lowering as she sighed, a smile tugging at her lips, one that was not feigned neither mocking, one that made her eyes sparkle with delight and was not meant to be noticed. If there was hope to make Zoya Nazyalensky brighten up like that, maybe Nikolai had it in himself to steer this country to safety after all.

Goodnight, General.

***

“I thought we were past these poor attempts at wooing me”, she scoffed, playfully pushing him away. Nikolai chuckled, drawing her back to rest on his chest, circling her in his arms. He rested his chin on her head, listening to the warm huff of her breath on the cotton of his shirt. Deadly Zoya, who let herself curl in his hold almost easily. If someone had told him he would live to the feel of her lashes shutting on his heart, Nikolai would have probably sent the man to get his head checked by a Healer. Or paid him another drink.

“I am positively serious”, Nikolai assured her. Zoya blew a distrustful grunt.

“Nikolai, you do realize you don’t need to flatter me to get me into your bed anymore?”

“I do like you in my bed. Or anywhere else, for that matter”, he considered, humming against her hair. Zoya leaned on his shoulder to prompt herself up, looking him straight in the eyes. He tried to keep a smooth expression.

“So you’re saying I garnered your attention that soon? To me, you seemed a bit - “

She tilted her head to the side, shrugged her shoulders.

“Yes?”

“Distracted”, she pointed out, an overly amused grin perking her lips.

Nikolai knew she was referring both to Alina and to the apparently unscathed attitude he had kept around her in the years they had worked together. No doubt clueless to how quickly other forbidden images had replaced the Sun Summoner’s ones in his dreams or just how much commitment he had been forced to put into appearing unaffected by her presence. He had been distracted, at first, though even in distraction Zoya snatched the attention like a lightning. Then a quake in the ground had struck; Zoya had then made her way into his life like a ferociously fast tidal wave, rippling foam at first, raging and rumbling waters then.

“You distracted me a lot, Zoya. Working with you has been equally comforting and tiring. You distract me even more now”, he leaned closer, sliding one hand on her neck, preventing her from backing away, “that I get to do this”. Nikolai caught her lips with his, kissing away the disbelieving frown from her mouth. When the kiss broke, she looked halfway convinced of his candor.

“You can’t possibly imagine how many dull meetings I have tuned out with you haunting my thoughts. The overactive mind I happen to be cursed with did not help my concentration.”

Zoya rolled her eyes, even though they both knew how truthful the statement was.

“You are diverting.”

“Is it working?”

“A bit”, she casually dismissed, tucking a strand of black curls on her finger. Nikolai sighed happily, slipping away in his thoughts. He wanted to tell her everything, he wanted her to take a stroll right into his mind to see it all. They had so much time now, and he had the constant urge of stocking it without letting a single instant slip, making up for all the years it had taken them to have each other.

“Anyway, it’s nothing special. People are commonly struck by my beauty.”

“I’ll admit you are kind of a breath-taking vision”, he snatched her hand away from her hair to press a kiss on her knuckles. “That’s not what really caught my attention, though.”

Of course he had noticed her. Then again, who did not? The vexing creature was hard not to notice, with dark waves framing a perfect figure, hiding an intricate enigma to solve. Since he was a boy, the prince had loved to unravel the puzzle of a person, he had proud himself of being able to do so with nearly everyone he had encountered. Zoya was another kind of riddle, one that had given him more headaches than victories. She made a point to hide; and Nikolai, well, he had always been an explorer at heart, hadn’t he? So he had noticed, and embarked on the journey drawn by the thrill of adventure. Every bitter word had been a wave to crash, every harsh reply a storm to weather to look under the surface. Every gust of wind, barked command and brisk political comment a sudden turn inside her convoluted mind.

“I’m torn between accusing you of sweet-talking me as usual or just outright lying.”

Nikolai clenched his heart in a mock gesture, and a small laugh bubbled in his chest. Judging from the bright gleam in her eyes and the lightness with which she was messing with him, she had believed him.

“Enough about you then. Am I to truly believe I did not impress you at first sight?”

Zoya glared daggers at him, but did not answer right away, considering his question. He got lucky this evening.

“You did impress me, albeit saying at first sight would be a huge overstatement”, she admitted, then exhaled a long breath and let herself fall on the cushion. “I was so happy when you asked me to be your General”, her eyes were distant, as if she was talking to herself more than him, seeing the rageful and determined girl she had been. “I went back to my room and could not stop smiling. My heart was so full, for the first time since what felt like forever. It never felt like a responsibility, it felt like an opportunity you gave me.”

“Tell me you waltzed alone in your room, please”, he teased, being the one who wanted to improvise a victory dance on the spot.

“I will not.”

“You will not tell me because it did not happen, or just to deprive me of the satisfaction?”

“Your ego does not need more encouragement”, she rested her chin on her hand, forcing her lips to stay pursed and fighting back a smile. So that was a yes, then. Zoya bursting with happiness was a sight he would have probably sold his soul to see, three years ago.

“That was the first time I believed you may not be the overly chatty catastrophe I would have made you out to be.”

“You know, I’m not so sure”, Nikolai grinned at her, beaming with pride. “You were stunned when I shot the Darkling.”

“You remember that?”, she gave him a surprised glance from her place on the cushion. They barely knew each other back then, but he had not forgotten. He pulled her back to him, brushed his mouth on her forehead.

“I paid attention in these years, Zoya. To every inch of you.”

It had taken him a while to notice the other things. The stubborn tilt of her chin when she was being challenged and needed to hold her ground. How she shook the cuffs of her kefta before announcing something, or how it meant the argument was done on her part. The way she marked the first words of a sentence with a harder tone than usual when she was in distress, as if the very fact of lacing a syllable with spite could hold herself together. Her resting her head to the side when she was at ease, narrowing her eyes to the sunlight, allowing herself a surrender. The grief and hurt that peered through only when she was trying too hard to conceal it, only when the exhaustion was overwhelming and keeping this country together too tiring. The gleam she possessed when she was teaching the kids, how her gaze softened with care as soon as they turned their backs on her and she watched them laugh and toss each other around. Her laughter with Genya or Tamar when they had a glass too much in the evening and they gossiped around, basking in the illusion of being normal people with no weight on their shoulders.

Zoya had been a story for Nikolai, one he had wanted to unfold, to slowly walk through the pages of it and discover her mysteries, her secrets, her wants. She had been the puzzle of his lifetime, and he knew he would never stop sorting through it. Whenever he thought he had put some sense in it, she uncovered a dark alley he had brushed past without noticing; her Suli heritage, her family’s past, her garden of sorrows. And then came the agony of sorting her feelings out, a line he had walked balancing his hopeless wishes and the reality of her gestures. Trying to piece together how deliberate or innocent had been the way she kept locking their gazes together through the opposite corner of a room, wondering how carefree when she lingered with her fingers on his skin a moment too long as they brushed their hands. If she was toying with him as he had heard in the stories about her, or if her restraint wavered under a desire he had not known he was hoping for. All the times the inevitable had almost happened, and they had strode past these occurrences with the shared silent pact of not voicing it out loud. Zoya’s look growing calm in the dim light of the countless rooms they had worked in, a warmth they had both longed for.

Nikolai tightened his hold on her. He buried his nose in her hair.

The heat of a sunny day, the spring that came in Dominik’s fields, the crushed daisies under his sisters’ sticky fingers. The Grand Palace garden brought alive by rain around him, droplets running through his golden hair. A meadow near the sea in a foreign magical place where he would take her one day, the marvels he would show her. That damn wildflowers scent he had never been able to carve out of the bottom of his soul.

She had revealed herself in front of him, in irrelevant moments carrying with them a significance he had never been aware of.

“I thought I knew myself”, Zoya started, barely audible over the crackling of the fire, “the rotten parts of me. My strengths.” She paused. “Seeing me through your eyes - you shattered everything I knew and built it back. I did not understand how soon you had started doing that.”

"Soulmates stuff, I guess”, he murmured in a wanton tone, ignoring the prick behind his eyes, startled by the sudden shift in her mood and the heartfelt openness she was displaying.

“I don’t believe in that nonsense”, Zoya huffed dismissively. Nikolai laughed.

“I share your disbelief, actually. Destiny has done nothing but put obstacles in our path, after all. If anything, we have defied it. I believe it’s more a matter of choices”, he said, pensive. Once again, he rested his cheek on her carefully brushed curls, inhaling deeply. “We did not happen to stumble upon each other and miraculously fall in love. We chose each other.”

The choice is yours.

I made the choice. I am the one choosing you now.

I would choose you, Zoya. As my general, as my friend, as my bride.

The first one had gone unbelievably smoothly. The second, it had taken patience and effort and a certain resistance to disappointments. The third one, well - he was working on that. A ring did stand wrapped around her finger. Halfway there.

Zoya must had been thinking of that, too. She seemed to ponder his statement before replying. “You did tell me you would choose me. When I thought no one would.”

“I think I chose you long before I knew I did. Then I hoped against all odds that when you’d make your own choice, you’d choose me in return. That you’d choose to stay.”

Zoya fell silent. He could not see her, but he imagined just as well her biting her lower lip, his words sinking into her heart. With Zoya, the quiet was comfortable, warm as the press of her body on his. The quiet was needed.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long”, a whisper at last, as she turned back up to look at him. Nikolai shook his head decisively.

“Don’t be.”

“You have waited for me.” There was just a knowing safety in her tone. It had mattered, for Nikolai, to let her choose. To let her know, and then let her decide. To give her a chance at love and stand by for her to take it, his trust in her never faltering. He gently took her face between his calloused hands, worn by battles and tight salty ropes.

“You were worth every second. Besides, time means nothing for demons and saints, right? We have a lot of it in our hands.”

This time she whole-heartedly smiled, adjusting his perfectly fine collar in that affectionate unaware gesture again.

Being the unsuccessful poet he could have been in another lifetime, sometimes he wondered if the story they had lived would ever go on in ballad and poems, as he had once joked with her. If someone would tell of an open sky split by lightning in which a dragon had spread his wings and roared his heartache, never to be left alone to live in darkness again. If someone would hear of a wayward privateer finding the ocean in a person, tricking fate into conquering everything his battered heart had ever searched for. If there would ever be written the tale of a love waiting on the other side of a door, of the people brave enough to cross it.

He had thought they would have just kept telling that tale to each other, through open mouthed kisses left on bare skin, tangled sheets and hushed confessions traded in the night. Then one day, he had heard the kids play in the Little Palace forest, a girl with golden brown skin splashing water on the others from the lake, calling herself the Suli queen who could turn into a legendary beast. He had seen a Fabrikator in the library draft sketches of pirates and mystical creatures fighting each other on a flying ship. To his amusement, he had watched and eavesdropped as one of his personal guards, a handsome young boy coming from Udova, had tried to woo a noble girl into walking with him to the garden, promising her to tell her the fable of how a king with a demon inside had won the attentions of a beautiful unattainable witch who commanded the storms.

Nikolai liked that. The idea that their struggles might turn into hope. One thing he loved, though, were the details that remained theirs.

Zoya brushed a hand through his golden hair with a yearning look in her eyes, soft as a feather she kissed his jaw, adjusted herself in the space between his arms, played with the ring on her finger as she laced her hand with his. She still called him King wretch at times, he still called her his General. She had still eaten all of his herring that morning, they had still made time to work silently through papers together before dinner. At the end, there had never been a hierarchy between them, swept away in the matter of heartbeats since she had held a broken prince in the safety of her wind and he had given her a medal to cradle in her fingers: they had always fought alongside each other, as they were doing now. These details.

That was the part of their story no one would ever earn to hear. The part they would keep writing in secret.

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jadelotusflower · 3 years

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It’s Cold in that Fridge: The Case of Nakari Kelen

Since The Case of Mara Jade has been doing the rounds again, I’ve finally gone back to this post that has been sitting in my drafts for literally years. So let’s honour this absolute badass who deserved better:

Once upon a time, the Star Wars universe was but six films (and a tv series) in the story of the Skywalker family. But beyond George Lucas’ story was an absolute boatload of books, comics, games, and other materials that made up the Expanded Universe. When Disney purchased Lucasfilm and the rights to the Star Wars saga, everything in this universe was decanonised and deemed “Legends” - some aspects of this universe were retained or re-purposed, others sit in Disney’s figurative vault and will likely never see the light of day (and seeing how the ST turned out, maybe that’s for the best).

But this transition between Legends canon and Disney canon was not so simple, because the nature of publishing meant that there were novels approved during the time of Legends canon that would be released in the time of Disney canon. In particular, there had been the planned trilogy “Empire and Rebellion”, set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, with each novel from the perspective of one of The Big Three.

Razor’s Edge (Leia) and Honor Among Thieves (Han) were released prior to the Great Canon Split of 2014. But while the Luke-centric novel had been planned, it was not due to be released until well after the Split. So Heir to the Jedi (so called as an homage to the Legends progenitor Heir to the Empire) became one of the first books of the Disney canon.

What does this background have to do with Nakari Kelen? Perhaps nothing, but I do wonder how the writing process was affected by the shift from Legends to Disney - was the novel a relic of the old EU with any reference the LFL storygroup didn’t like excised during editing, or was it a trendsetter for the new EU, a Sign of Things to Come?

The most salient point being, of course, that Nakari Kelen - like so many love interests before her - was not allowed to go along her merry way at the conclusion of the novel, but was shoved into the fridge.

If there was one constant of the Legends EU, it was that Luke Skywalker’s love interests couldn’t catch a break. Mara Jade naturally lasted the longest relationship-wise, with almost twenty years of marriage to Luke before some bright spark decided she had to go (as per the aforementioned case study). But before Mara there was Jem, Shira Brie, and Gaeriel Captison (who came close to escaping the curse), and in the Legacy of the Force series they brought back sole survivors Akanah and Callista, only to kill them off for good too (and rather brutally, if I may add).

So perhaps when Kevin Hearne began writing HttJ within the confines of the Legends continuity, he was merely sticking to the status quo, or perhaps once subsumed by Disney they needed to make sure Luke's slate was clean (so to speak). And I can’t put all the blame on Hearne since I don’t know whether it was his idea, or LFL mandated - but regardless it was a poor decision.

The root cause of fridging, imo, is limited imagination. How best to cause your male protagonist pain if not kill off someone they love, or at least have strong feelings for? The answer is of course, easily. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The Luke Skywalker of HttJ is fresh from his victory in ANH, a lieutenant in the Rebellion: young, not dumb, and full of...

Nakari Kalen is an absolute Queen a civilian volunteer and crack-shot sniper who loans her ship Desert Jewel to the Alliance. Luke is immediately attracted to her, they bond over a mutual love of fast ships and leaving behind desert home planets, and engage in the inexpert flirting of two nineteen year olds while also risking their lives several times over.

I want to make it clear: I actually really like this book. It's a breezy read, almost serialised as The Early Adventures of Luke Skywalker, and is ofttimes genuinely funny. And credit where it’s due to Hearne, many of of the supporting roles in the novel are female. Other than Nakari, there's Soonta, the Rodian who gives Luke her uncle’s lightsaber, Sakhet the Kupohan spy, and the Givin cryptographer/math genius Drusil Bephorin. In a genre where male characters are often the default for these kind of roles, it was nice to see, but makes the regressive fridging of Nakari even more egregious.

Luke and Nakari make a good team fighting brain-sucking monsters and Imperials, but more importantly they have fun together - she encourages him to work on his Force skills, and he successfully moves objects with his mind for the first time (leading to Nakari adorably dub him "a little noddle scooter"). It's a very sweet, if brief, relationship, and a respite from the danger of the mission. They spend the night together (leaving the reader to decide exactly what happened behind closed doors), and share a kiss before splitting up to try and escape bounty hunters. No prizes for guessing what happens to Nakari immediately after she received the Skywalker Kiss of Death.

I assume there were two motivating factors for why Hearne and/or LFL couldn't let Nakari live:

1. If she survived, fans would wonder why she doesn't appear in ESB/subsequent material.

I recall this bandied about on forums back at the time of the book's release, and to that I say - so what? Fans are always going to wonder, and try to paper over the gaps in canon, to make up their own headcanons to explain any any perceived inconsistencies. It's certainly no reason to kill someone off.

It is in fact possible for two young people to have a romance that just fizzles, or doesn’t work out for whatever reason - it should not require great maneuvering or explanation. If Nakari doesn’t show up in the next book in the timeline, what about it? The reader is smart enough to assume she and Luke broke up, decided to just remain friends, whatever. But it seems that the only way for a female character to exit stage left is for her to die, which is bullshit.

And actually, there's no reason why she couldn't have shown up again. ESB and RoTJ cover a month and a few days, respectively, of Luke's life - just because there was no mention of Nakari doesn't mean she didn't exist at that time, whether or not she and Luke were an item. She could have made an appearance in a subsequent novel, or Rebels, or the comics - she could have become a recurring character, showing up when the Rebellion needed her, or - heaven forbid - even have her own comic/book/show! Her existence in Star Wars canon didn't need to begin and end with Luke Skywalker, merely to service his plotline and backstory and abandoning the richness of her own.

No, the only reason Nakari had to die was to facilitate this:

It was a blow to the gut, realizing what that sudden absence meant. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I had felt Nakari's life snuffed out through the Force, and into that void where she had shone anger rushed in - anger, and a cold sense of raw power and invincibility...I took a step to join in the hunt but stopped, breathing heavily, unaccountably sweating even though I felt so cold inside and the power of the Force roiled within me... I shook with emotion and power, and none of it felt the way the Force had before...I saw what kind of space it was , a black hole that would always be hungry no matter how much I fed it. I might never feel warm again if I didn't get myself under control.

Luke feels the dark side and is tempted by the boost of power it offers him, but immediately identifies it as dangerous and unnatural. I can understand why Hearne wanted to include this - it is a book of firsts after all: Luke's first solo mission, his first time using telekenisis, and ending with story with his first experience of the dark side makes sense. But it wasn't necessary, which leads to:

2. How to push Luke to touch the dark side without killing someone he has romantic feelings for?

Also, obviously, shite of the bull (or nerf, if you prefer). Even if this brush with the dark side was absolutely necessary for the novel's climax, there's any number of ways it could be achieved. At this point, Luke is fresh from losing important people in his life - Owen and Beru, Ben, and Biggs - lumping another death on top of that a narrative trick for Luke to react not only to losing Nakari, but the others as well. But it's cheap, the first card in the deck, and why not show a bit of imagination? Luke is young and inexperienced enough at this point that any number of things could be the catalyst - the whole book he's struggling with his growing powers, why not try and reach too far in the firefight with the bounty hunters, his anger and frustration with himself in not doing enough trigger the dark side temptation? It would work thematically and doesn't involve a fridging that ultimately has very little payoff.

Because Nakari is killed less than ten pages from the end of the book - afterwards Luke grieves, but ultimately chooses to honour her memory and be grateful for what he learned with her, recommitting to becoming a Jedi. It's all very surface level, and once again a female character's death facilitates a male character's development. Was it so imperative that Luke lost someone he cared about as part of this story? Sure, this was a time of galactic civil war, and it's far from unrealistic that these stories have a high body count, but who to make collateral damage remains an authorial choice, and in this case Nakari Kelen was (a) a female character of color, (b) a love interest of the protagonist - not just of this book, but the entire Original Trilogy.

I don't know to what extent (if any) race had to play in the decision. I'm sure there was a segment of the fandom absolutely livid that Luke Skywalker kissed (and maybe had sex with) a black woman. Was her death LFL hedging its bets, or demonstrative of the general lack of attention/respect they show their characters of colour?

In any case this was a chance to stand out from the old EU and it's fridge full of Luke's dead girlfriends, but instead they chose to introduce and kill off Nakari for the sole purpose of Luke's manpain and character development, and that's gross.

And then there's this:

A grisly yet reliable fact about custom bounty hunter ships is that you can always count on them to have body bags stashed somewhere for the easy transport of their kills. They often have built-in refrigerated storage, too.

NAKARI IS KILLED AND LITERALLY STORED IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE I COULDN'T BELIEVE WHAT I WAS READING.

I really hope this was unintentional on Hearne's part, because yikes. He was halfway there, this book was full of interesting female characters who had agency - Drusil in particular was a delight with her super math and inability to understand human interaction. Nakari was full of life and fun - capable but relatable, showing a different side of the Rebellion and those that suffered under the Empire's rule. Fridging her in her first appearance is considerably more vile, because it reduces her to a footnote of Luke's story, a plot device to Help Him Grow, rather than a springboard to tell more of her own story.

Because Nakari was a compelling character ripe for spinoff potential. I would absolutely have read or watched her continued adventures, juggling missions for her father's Biolabs company and trying to aid the Rebellion, shooting her slug rifle and cracking wise, maybe even finding a way to amplify her mother's song Vader's Many Prosthetic Parts to really stick it to the Empire, or try and free the political prisoners on Kessel.

The old EU was made great by allies and enemies of Our Heroes showing up again to help or hinder them, and/or branching out into their own material. We fell in love with them, and followed their stories even as they diverged from the main saga, eager to read more about their lives.

Nakari Kelen never got that chance. In many ways, she exemplified what Disney Star Wars was to become: an exercise in wasted potential.

#star wars #star wars meta #heir to the jedi #nakari kelen #luke skywalker #fridging #it's cold in that fridge #star wars expanded universe #nucanon

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imlovethomassanders · 3 years

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Eyes are the Windows to the Soul(mates) - Chapter 4

You can also read on ao3

Thank you to @strongindependentcheesecake for beta reading

This work is complete, and new chapters will be added everyday until completion:

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 5 (FINAL)

Summary: The lucky few who have a soulmate are born with heterochromia, with their left eye being the color of their soulmate’s eyes and their right eye being their own color. Not only was Virgil one of the lucky few to have a soulmate, but he was given four. His left eye changed colors every time he blinked, rotating between his four soulmates’ eye colors. His rotating eye colors caused him to be a bit of an outcast growing up, but when he finally leaves for college, things start to fall into place. This is the journey of five strangers finding each other.

Pairings: DLAMP with background Remile

Warnings: None I believe

Words: 3924

Taglist: @touchstarvedvirgil @lamp-calm-sanders @ninjago2020 @confinesofpersonalknowledge @secret-novelisthost18 @phander-sides @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet @bookbingingproblem @viana-dascolli @sharktryingtofly @crofters-n-falsehoods @turnedthefreakingfrogsgay @little-kat07 @romano-hottopic

Logan had been too worried about Roman and his eyes to talk to Patton and Virgil. It had been two weeks since they last video called, and Patton and Virgil were getting worried. For the first few days, Logan said he was sick. Then he had a lot of homework, then he had a migraine, then he had to study, then he had to help Emile with studying, or whatever excuse he could think of. He knew Patton and Virgil didn't buy it, but he was grateful they didn't push him.

Patton: How are you feeling today sweetie? Virgil: think you can talk to us today? Logan: I'm in the apartment elevator. As soon as I get home I will turn on my laptop and call you. Patton: !!!! :D <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Emile wasn't home yet, so Logan assumed he was still out with Remy. He went to his bedroom and opened his laptop, and a video call request popped up as soon as Logan came online.

"Hello-"

"LOGAN YOUR EYES!!" Patton exclaimed, Virgil wincing next to him. "Who?? When?? Where??"

Um, a couple weeks ago," Logan admitted. "We... had a bit of a rough start."

"You okay, Logan?" Virgil asked.

"Yes, things are getting better. We actually have a date tomorrow."

Patton squealed. "Oh, when can we meet them?? I can't wait to meet them!!"

Logan texted Roman that they were excited to meet him. Even though Virgil waited to meet Logan in person, that wait was only a couple days. Since Patton and Virgil probably wouldn't be able to meet Roman in person until the end of the semester, they decided to video call tomorrow.

Logan got to Roman's apartment a little before noon, and Remy was already gone. Roman said he wasn't too upset about being kicked out, since he got to use this as an excuse to go see Emile. Logan remembered Emile being particularly giddy as he left.

Logan was surprised when Roman pulled him into a hug as soon as the door opened.

"Hello," he said, muffled against Roman's chest. He prayed his cheeks weren't as red as they felt.

"It's wonderful to see you," Roman said as he let go of Logan. "I made tea. Do you like tea?"

He started talking again before Logan got a chance to respond.

"Oh, I'm so excited. You're going to love these. Which ones do you want to watch first?" Roman asked as he shoved a mug into Logan's hands.

"Show me your favorites."

Roman beamed.

A relaxing afternoon passed into evening. Roman and Logan had spent much of the time poking fun at inconsistencies in the movies, or Logan holding back laughter as Roman dramatically sang along to the songs.

Logan's phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Patton and Virgil are almost back to their dorm. They will be ready to call us when they arrive."

"Oh, wonderful!" Roman said.

Their moods had been so playful, it was easy to notice Roman's mood shift as his leg started shaking.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked.

"I'm fine," Roman said, but winced when his voice cracked.

"There is no need to worry," Logan said as he pulled his laptop out of his bag and Roman paused the movie. "I know they are very excited to meet you."

Roman gave him a grateful smile as Logan clicked the "Accept Call" button.

The few moments it took for the video to load dragged on for what felt like forever before the image of two men appeared on screen, one with pale skin and dark hair and the other covered in freckles with golden curls.

Roman's breath hitched at how absolutely gorgeous they were.

"Ohmygosh! Hello!!" the curly one exclaimed with a giant grin. "I'm Patton! It's so so wonderful to finally meet you!"

"Hey," the other one said, not nearly as energetic. "I'm Virgil."

"I'm Roman Kingsley. I'm so glad to finally meet my soulmates," Roman said as he flashed a grin. "And may I just say, that you two are two of the most beautiful beings I have ever been blessed enough to see."

Patton squealed in delight as he grabbed Virgil's hand while Virgil's cheeks grew a dark shade of red.

Conversation followed easily for them, and all of Roman's worries melted away. Roman glanced over to see Logan looking at him with eyes softer than he'd ever seen before. Roman smiled back and took Logan's hand and the two turned their attention back towards Patton and Virgil.

They were all so incredible. Roman swore he was in love.

"Logan?" Roman asked. He was laying on the couch with his head resting on Logan's lap. It was late Saturday night, and the two were exhausted after spending most of the day unpacking boxes. Roman and Emile were switching places so they could each live with their soulmates (Emile made sure he and Logan kept in touch - plus, double dates with them were now a common occurrence).

"Hm?" Logan hummed as he ran his fingers through Roman's hair.

"How long until winter break?"

"Thirty more days, dear."

It had been almost two months since Roman and Logan first met. And since Roman had met Patton and Virgil, too, he had been counting the days until he would finally get to see them in person.

"That's too long."

"I know."

Roman reached for Logan's hand that wasn't in his hair, but he didn't take it. Instead he just held his hand out for Logan to grab. Roman had been prepared to move at a fairly fast pace once he met his soulmates, but Logan clearly wanted to take it slow. So Roman was patient and let Logan set the pace. It took a couple weeks for Logan to hold his hand in public, a couple weeks more for Logan to cuddle with him. Some days, Logan didn't feel like being touched at all, so they'd sit in the same room on different chairs, just enjoying each other's company.

"Not that I'm not content with you," Roman quickly added. Logan opened his mouth to speak but Roman didn't notice. "I'm so unbelievably happy when I'm with you. Though I'm excited to meet Pat and Virge, you make me so much happier than I ever imagined I could be-"

"I know, Roman. I'm excited to see them, too."

Roman smiled up at him as he squeezed Logan's hand.

"...You're gorgeous," Roman said softly as he gazed up at Logan. Logan's face tinted pink as he glanced away.

"I-... you-... Thank you," Logan managed to stammer as he looked back at Roman, letting go of his hand just to run his hand down the side of Roman's face. "...May I kiss you?"

Roman's eyes widened as he sat up. "Are you sure? Because if so, then yes. Absolutely yes. But I don't want you to feel rushed or-"

"I want to, Roman," Logan assured, a tad embarrassed. Roman gave him a gentle smile as he placed a hand on Logan's cheek. He leaned in slightly but let Logan close the gap. Roman sighed happily as his eyes fluttered closed. He went to raise his other hand to Logan's cheek but Logan' separated, eyes wide and cheeks red.

"Are you okay?"

Logan nodded. "That was... really nice."

Roman smiled.

"Can I... Can I kiss you again?"

Roman nodded as he placed his hands back on Logan's cheeks. This time Logan placed his hand on the back of Roman's neck to pull him just a bit closer, not that Roman minded. Logan was the one to pull back first again, but only for a couple seconds before he pulled Roman back to him.

Roman kept the kiss slow and soft as Logan's hands held tightly on him, firm grip trying to pull them as close together as he could. Roman moved his arms around Logan's waist, aiding in pushing together. Soft gasps were escaping them both as their chests were pressed together.

The next time Logan pulled away, he just wrapped his arms around Roman and buried his head into the crook of Roman's neck. Roman smiled as he placed a kiss onto the side of Logan's head while rubbing soothing circles on his back.\

"Roman, I... I think that I... I0" Logan huffed out a frustrated sigh as he struggled to finish his sentence, his grasp around Roman tightening.

"I know, Logan," Roman assured him with a smile. "I know. Me, too."

Roman groaned and shut his laptop. He had done enough school work for tonight. Probably.

He ran his hands over his face. His eyes stung slightly from staring at a bright screen for so long in the dark room. Glancing at the clock, he was surprised to see it was already nine o'clock. Logan had gone out to attend some seminar for extra credit, not that he needed it. With Roman no longer tapping away at the keyboard, he noticed the light pattering of rain.

He pushed his chair away from his desk and fell onto his bed, reaching for his phone. He didn't know when Logan would be back, but he hoped it would be soon. The apartment got lonely when he wasn't around.

Roman was about to text the group chat to see how Patton and Virgil were doing when he got a phone call from the emo nightmare himself.

Surprised, but in no way complaining, he happily tapped the answer button.

"Hello, my darling. How are-"

"Roman," Virgil gasped out, and Roman was immediately worried. He sat up in the bed, mind racing with what could be wrong. Was he hurt? "I'm sorry. This is so stupid, but Patton's not at the dorm and- Oh, it's getting late I shouldn't have called I'm sorry-"

"Virgil," Roman interrupted. Virgil was already breathing heavy - Roman didn't want him to work himself up even more. "What's wrong, dove?"

"It's stupid," Virgil muttered.

"Virgil."

"...It's storming. And thunderstorms make my anxiety spike."

As if on cue, Roman heard a loud clap of thunder in the background followed by a sharp intake of breath from Virgil.

"That's not stupid," Roman said, affection dripping in his voice. "Just focus on my voice, dove. Follow my breathing."

Roman took a few deep breaths, listening as Virgil followed, and his breathing eventually grew steadier.

"Perfect. You're doing wonderful."

Roman led Virgil through breathing a bit longer until Virgil's breathing was back to normal.

"Thanks, Roman," Virgil said quietly.

"Of course, darling. I'll always be here for you, to protect or comfort. Whatever ails you, I'll work to destroy it."

"Sap."

Roman couldn't help but smile. The sound of rustling blankets came through the phone.

"...Hey, Ro?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you, um, sing for me?" Virgil asked quietly. A large grin grew on Roman's face, his heart burning with so much love for the man on the other end of the phone that it almost hurt.

"Of course I can."

Roman started to sing softly all the love songs he knew, anything he thought could even begin to portray how much he was already in love with him.

"I wish you were here," Virgil said, his soft voice making it evident he was getting sleepy. "So your voice wasn't muddled by the phone."

"I wish I was there, too. To hold you and let you know that as long as I'm around, nothing is going to harm you. Not even thunder."

Virgil chuckled softly.

"I wish you could hold me."

"And I will, love," Roman said earnestly. "As soon as I can."

Virgil yawned.

"Sing me to sleep?"

"Anything you need, Virgil."

Fluffball <3: Everyone get on video call!!

Roman shook Logan's shoulder, who was sitting by him, to get his attention. He showed Logan the text and Logan grabbed his laptop.

"Hey sweeties!" Patton said the same time Virgil said "'Sup."

"Hello, dearests," Roman said the same time Logan said "Salutations."

"So we all agreed to get together the first couple weeks before Christmas so we could still go see our families on the holidays, right?" Patton started, smile wide in excitement.

"Yes, Patton." Logan said.

"Well, I found a place in my home town we could rent for those weeks. So we can spend the time by ourselves instead of making our schedule around my parents," Patton said sheepishly. "If we all pitch in, I know we could afford it."

"That sounds incredible, Pat," Roman answered with a large smile. Patton's grin grew wider.

"I'll email y'all the details."

Roman was shaking his leg as Logan drove. He was finally, finally, after far too many months, on his way to see Patton and Virgil.

"There's nothing to worry about," Logan assured him. "They are both very fond of you. Just... be prepared for a really big Patton hug when you walk through the door."

Roman was looking forward to it.

Roman knew Patton and Virgil almost as well as he knew Logan due to the constant texts and video calls, though that could never compare to finally being able to see his darling soulmates in person.

Logan held Roman's hand as they walked up the path to the front door. He didn't have time to knock before the door flew open and Logan was pulled inside, yanking Roman in with him.

"Roman!!" Roman heard someone shout before they threw themself into his arms. "Oh my gosh it's so wonderful to finally meet you in person!"

Roman pulled back to see Patton looking up at him, absolutely beaming. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Virgil and Logan hugging while exchanging "I missed you"s, but right now all he wanted was to focus on the little puffball in his arms.

"Hello, dear," Roman said with a large smile as he pulled Patton back to him. Patton let out a loud squeal of laughter as Roman picked him up and spun him around.

"I can not express how ecstatic I am to finally hold you," Roman said as he put Patton down, taking the opportunity to cover his face in kisses. "My dear, my darling, my love, I've been waiting for this day for as long as I can remember, and oh, how gorgeous you are in person."

Patton's face was very red as Roman finished talking, Logan and Virgil watching in amusement. Roman panicked for a moment, thinking he had gone too far, but Patton just threw his arms back around Roman and pressed kisses to his cheek.

"You're so sweet! I'm so happy you're here," Patton said as he pulled back.

Virgil gently placed a hand on Patton's arm, and he let out a little "oh" before stepping aside, turning his attention to Logan.

"Logan! I've missed you!" Patton exclaimed as he threw his arms around Logan, but quickly pulled away once he remembered Logan's occasional aversion to being touched. But Logan wrapped his arms around Patton, and Patton smiled before hugging him again.

"I've missed you, too."

"Uh, hey, Roman," Virgil said a bit sheepishly as Patton turned to Logan.

"Hello, Virgil," Roman said with a grin as he stepped closer. There were a couple of moments of silence, then Virgil threw his arms around Roman and Roman quickly reciprocated, placing a hand on Virgil's back and pressing him against his chest.

"It's lovely to finally see you, darling," Roman whispered as Virgil took a shaky breath and hid his face in the crook of Roman's neck. "I'm here now. It's okay."

"We're all together!" Patton squealed happily as he wrapped his arms around the two of them, and Roman felt Virgil smile against his skin.

Roman gave Logan an expectant smile, holding out his hand for Logan to take. And when he did, Roman pulled him into the group hug.

"It's really nice to finally be with all of you," Virgil muttered against Roman, voice cracking just slightly. Roman tightened his arm around him.

"It is," Patton beamed. "I'm so happy."

Roman groaned as he stood up off the couch and stretched his arms up, hearing his bones pop in the process. The four of them had gone out to eat that night, and it had been pure magic. It wasn't a particularly grand place, just a small diner around the corner, but the four of them being in the same place for the first time was just wonderful. Roman could put his arm around Patton, or reach over to take Logan or Virgil's hands. The way the four of them clicked together so naturally made Roman feel like he was walking on air.

Oh, how lucky he was to be blessed with soulmates.

When they got home, they had put a movie on the TV. But after a long day of travelling, Logan and Roman didn't last half the movie. When Roman woke up, Virgil had also fallen asleep and Patton was gone, but Roman could hear humming in the kitchen.

"Oh, hello, sweetie," Patton said as Roman walked in. "I'm making tea, would you like some?"

Roman nodded as he reached out towards Patton but hesitated. Patton then gently grabbed his arm and pulled Roman towards him.

"You don't have to worry about me. I always want cuddles," Patton sighed happily as he rested his head on Roman's chest. "You don't have to ask."

"But what if one day you don't-"

"Then I'll make sure to tell you. Though there's never been a day in my life I didn't want hugs."

Roman rested his cheek on Patton's fluffy hair and sighed. "I... I'm honestly sort of relieved. Obviously I'm not upset about Logan's boundaries, but..."

"You can tell me, honey," Patton urged as he tightened his grip around Roman. "It's alright."

"It's just... I've been fighting my insecurities for as long as I can remember. And physical affection just makes me feel better, I guess. It makes me feel secure and wanted," Roman said, voice getting softer from embarrassment. "And when I feel like I need it but Logan doesn't want to be touched, I just keep my mouth shut on how I'm feeling to not make him feel guilty."

"I get it," Patton said as he stepped back to cup Roman's face. "Virgil's the same way. Less often than Logan, but the same.

But I don't think you should hide how you're feeling from Logan. He'd feel bad you felt the need to hide from him. I just know he would want to know so he could find a way to help you. He loves you, Roman."

Roman huffed a bit as he pulled away from Patton to sit on the counter.

"But I don't want him to think I'm trying to pressure him."

"I know, I know. Roman... I get sad often. For no real reason in particular, sometimes. And physical affection helps me feel better, too. And just like Logan with you, Virgil is usually more than happy to help me. But for a while I, too, felt like I needed to keep it to myself because I didn't want to bother him."

"And?"

"He figured out, and he told me to tell him whenever I'm feeling sad. And we've found other ways. I'll sit next to him and we'll watch cat videos, or he'll show me his favorite music. Sometimes he'll say he can handle a little bit of touching and he lets me hold his hand or rest my head on his shoulder. But nothing is going to get better if you keep it to yourself."

Roman ducked his head as Patton gingerly pushed hair away from his face.

"Yeah, you're right," Roman said quietly. Patton pressed a kiss to his cheek. A smile grew on Roman's face. "And one day, we'll all live together, and we'll all balance each other out and love each other in our different ways. We'll never be more than a name call away from all the affection we need. Plus, while I'm here with you, I'll always be more than happy to give you lots and lots of attention."

Patton returned his soft smile as he cupped Roman's cheek. The two gazed at each other for a moment before connecting their lips, pulling the other towards them as close as they could.

The kiss was so incredibly soft. The two had to break apart for a moment just because their smiles grew so big, but they immediately reconnected their lips. It was gentle, just like Patton. Roman couldn't help but melt against him, promising himself that he was going to get as many Patton kisses as he could in his lifetime.

"I don't think I'll be able to handle another semester away from you," Patton said with a melancholy smile as they parted. Roman kissed him.

"Only a couple more years, darling. Then I'll be all yours."

Over the following days, Roman had the three of his loves in arms reach at all times. He could finally cuddle Patton against him or wrap Virgil tightly in his arms (and he'd never get tired of holding Logan). But the bliss couldn't last forever, and the day for them to leave for the holidays arrived.

Logan and Patton didn't have a far drive at all considering they were already in their hometown. Virgil had a good few hours, but Roman had to drive to the airport to get home, meaning he had to get up early in the morning and leave significantly sooner than the others.

"I'll see you soon, Specs," Roman said with a sad smile.

Logan met Roman halfway for a kiss. "See you soon."

Patton had been holding back tears all morning. But when Roman pulled him into a tight hug, he couldn't help that a few tears fell down his cheeks.

"Hey now, it's okay, darling. We'll see each other again soon. I lo- I'll miss you."

Patton's eyes widened and Roman tried not to wince at his slip up. But Patton gently placed a hand on Roman's cheek and pulled him down into a kiss.

"I love you," Patton whispered. Roman kissed him again.

"I love you, too."

They shared one more brief kiss before Patton let him go.

"I'll bring your bag out for you," Virgil said and walked out the door before Roman could say anything.

Roman gave one last goodbye to Patton and Logan and followed his other love.

"Call me when you land," Virgil said. "Want to make sure your plane didn't crash."

Virgil put Roman's suitcase in his trunk and slammed it shut. He wasn't looking at Roman.

"And drive safe. I know you like to play your music loud but be careful."

"I will."

"Well, um. I guess this is goodbye," Virgil said, staring at the ground.

"...Please look at me, darling."

Virgil huffed but slowly lifted his head, showing his red cheeks and puffy eyes.

"Oh, my dear," Roman said as Virgil let him pull him into a hug. "It'll be okay. We'll see each other again soon."

"I know," Virgil muttered into Roman's shirt. Virgil pulled away slowly, then placed his hands on Roman's cheeks to pull Roman down into a kiss. Roman pulled Virgil as tightly against him as he could, wishing this didn't have to end.

"I love you," Virgil whispered, surprising Roman. But he smiled.

"I love you, too. So much."

"Call me," Virgil said as he let Roman go.

"I will."

Virgil pressed one more quick kiss to Roman's lips before walking inside. And Roman smiled.

This is going to work out perfectly, he thought.

69 notes · View notes

ryukoishida · 3 years

Text

Qian Qiu/Thousand Autumns Fic: In which YWS experiences qi-deviation and SQ helps out.

Title: Down for You Fandom: Qian Qiu / Thousand Autumns Characters/Ships: YanShen Rating: NSFW Chapter: 1/1 Summary: [Post Canon] While experimenting with further improving Fundamental Records of Phoenix-Qilin, Yan Wushi suffered from sexually-driven qi deviation, which he tried to hide from Shen Qiao. When Shen Qiao finally realized what was wrong and offered to help, Yan Wushi felt conflicted. A/N: Another qi deviation fic? Yes. Let me join in the fun too please and thank.

---

Yan Wushi hated asking for help.

He viewed dependence on someone else as a weakness – a weakness that he as one of the strongest martial arts masters under the heavens had no need for. Even since he was young, he thrived on being on his own: with no other pupils to distract him, and no overbearing teacher to instruct him point-by-point, he was able to concentrate on his training and meditation in his own pace and direction that had taken him higher on the path to greatness and strength in the martial arts realm.

To Yan Wushi, other people were either nuisances for him to flick off like pestering flies or rivals worthy of challenging; friends were merely an unnecessary burden.

Taking on two disciples during the last few decades had not changed his perspective on this. He took on Bian Yanmei and Yu Shengyan knowing that their independent personalities would work well with his hands-off teaching method. And thankfully, both of his disciples turned out to be more than capable to handle themselves and sect affairs when he wasn’t around.

In short, Yan Wushi hated asking for help. He never saw the need, and so perhaps had forgotten how.

Subsequently, when Shen Qiao asked him what was wrong with the slightest hint of worry between his brows, out of pure habit, Yan Wushi smiled and replied lightly, if not a little breathlessly from the itching heat that was very slowly inching from his solar plexus to the rest of his body through his bloodstreams, “nothing, my beloved.”

Even speaking such few words proved to be challenging; his throat protested with a parched, sweet burn that could only be satiated with the touch of one person, and one person only.

But Yan Wushi didn’t dare ask. He’d already asked too much of Shen Qiao by being here with him, standing beside him as if they were equals.

Shen Qiao’s frown deepened a little, barely noticeable. The answer clearly didn’t satisfy the sect leader of Xuan Du, yet Shen Qiao was a patient man and was not one to force answers out of Yan Wushi until he knew his husband was ready to divulge. Heaving a soft sigh and aiming a knowing look at the other man, Shen Qiao only pressed his lips into a tight line and lowered his gaze back to the scroll he’d been reading.

It wasn’t the first time he’d experienced qi deviation. During the years in his training to reach the higher levels of the Fundamental Records of Phoenix-Qilin, Yan Wushi had suffered countless instances and variations of his qi running erratic in his meridian network – icy needles prickling his bones, bursting flames scorching his flesh, paralysis rendering him completely vulnerable – and he’d overcame each and every single one of them without anyone’s interference or assistance.

The slow-burning heat like molten lava crawling slowly up and down his limbs and prickling just beneath his skin was nothing he’d ever experienced before, but Yan Wushi was certain he could get through this troublesome phase with a few more days of meditation and rewiring of his meridian network.

“You will tell me if there is something wrong, will you not?” Shen Qiao’s gaze didn’t move away from the text on his scroll, but his voice was quiet and genuine with concern.

“Of course, Ah-Qiao.”

Three more days of silently suffering the gradually increasing discomfort of feverish sensitivity and the progressively difficulty of ignoring the pulsing desire running wild within his body that no meditation nor long soaks in cold water could suppress, Yan Wushi was desperate.

He wouldn’t allow his disciples or other servants near him for the last few days, and to Shen Qiao’s surprise, he’d even turned his own husband away, muttering something along the lines of not wishing to pass whatever illness he had to his beloved partner. Given any other day, Shen Qiao would have left him be, but Yan Wushi’s behavior had been too uncharacteristic even for the man’s eccentric personality, and that was the moment when the sect leader of Xuan Du couldn’t pretend to be oblivious anymore.

“Yan-zongzhu…”

After knocking on the door of their shared bedchamber in Yuxu Pavilion and receiving no reply, Shen Qiao gingerly opened the door and stepped in. Night had already fallen hours ago and the candles were burning low, the orange glow of the flames flickering when the evening breeze slipped in through the gap of the open door before stilling again.

“Yan-zongzhu?” Shen Qiao tried again, tone soft, making his way to the side of the bed, where Yan Wushi was lying on his back, blankets kicked messily to the side and clothing haphazardly loosened in a state of disarray. His breathing was shallow and harsh, skin flushed and streaked with sweat, exposed chest rising and falling in an abnormal rate that made Shen Qiao rushed the last few steps to the bed and reached out for his companion’s wrist.

He rested two fingers against Yan Wushi’s pulse point, attempting to get a reading, but before he could accurately diagnose the man’s condition, Yan Wushi pulled his arm away with a groan.

“Ah-Qiao…” Yan Wushi croaked out, his voice much hoarser and lower than usual from how dry the inside of his mouth was, and he cleared his throat, eyes fluttering open and head turning slightly to look at Shen Qiao. His pupils were dilated so that only a thin ring of red-brown could be seen. “As much as I appreciate your concern, there really is nothing for you to worry about.”

“Yan Wushi!” Shen Qiao’s patience was running thin, and Yan Wushi could tell because he was calling him by his full name. With quick reflexes, Shen Qiao caught his husband’s wrist again, this time using a bit more force to keep him in place as he tried to read his pulse once more. The palpitation was strangely rapid and inconsistent, with a rhythm that he wasn’t familiar with from any medical books he’d read.

Brows gathering into a deeper frown and lips tightening into a straight line, Shen Qiao placed his palm on the other man’s forehead, and was shocked at the burning temperature of his skin there. He continued his examination, gently feeling his cheek with the back of his hand, and then slender fingers were on the side of his neck – a man’s most vulnerable point, easily grasped and snapped into pieces – but Yan Wushi only craved more, Shen Qiao’s cool fingertips and innocent touches merely serving to ignite whatever was flaring wildly inside his body.

Shen Qiao detected a change in Yan Wushi’s breathing, and simply deduced that as being his condition worsening. He quickened his examination, his hand briefly resting on Yan Wushi’s sternum before sliding lower to his solar plexus, all the while focusing his own qi to the center of his palm to see if he could at least alleviate some of the discomfort and ease the stranded qi into flowing again.

“Hah…!” Yan Wushi jerked as the qi from Shen Qiao’s palm entered through his skin and into his meridian network. It had felt… good. Too good, in fact, that he was afraid he might lose control of himself if he didn’t stop what his dear husband was doing right now.

In his current weakened state, Yan Wushi had no real strength to push back, and so he resorted to his infamous verbal skills. Lifting up his shuddering arm, he covered the back of Shen Qiao’s hand, which was still laying lightly across his husband’s stomach, with his own, interlaced their fingers together and pulled that pale jade hand towards his lips, murmuring against his warm skin in a low voice.

“Ah-Qiao… my good Ah-Qiao… do not be angry with me,” Yan Wushi was using his best impression of an overly-affectionate cat. His saccharine tone shouldn’t be so effective on Shen Qiao, but when it was paired with the teary-eyed gaze, flushed cheeks, and strands of star-white hair stuck to his temple, Shen Qiao felt the initial heat of his frustration simmered away until nothing but a soft smoldering tenderness was left.

Shen Qiao sighed but allowed Yan Wushi to keep holding his hand.

“Yan-lang, I am not angry, but I wish you would tell me right away when something like this happen. If you were to…” Shen Qiao’s mind flashed to the memory of Yan Wushi’s lifeless body lying on the cold, hard ground after his last fight with Hulugu, and he squeezed his eyes close, shaking his head viciously to tear himself away from that nightmarish image. “No, you cannot do that to me again. Promise me that you will not hide yourself like this next time you experience another instance of qi-deviation, or anything else.”

“Call me that again, and I will promise you anything you want.”

“Call you…?” Shen Qiao realized belatedly that he’d been addressing Yan Wushi with the pet name he only used sparingly during their most intimate moments, and he felt his face heating up from embarrassment. “Yan Wushi, this is a serious issue. If you continue to jest around as if your life is a joke —”

“How could I treat my own life as a joke when there is someone who care so deeply for me?” Yan Wushi lightly kissed the back of Shen Qiao’s hand before smiling up at him, the expression so indulgent and gentle – so unlike the usual bold and wolfish grin – that it took all of Shen Qiao’s self-control to not combust on the spot.

“Y-Yan-lang, that is beside the point.”

Despite his cold words, Shen Qiao conceded but quickly continued as if that little scene didn’t happen, “it seems like the flow of your qi is stuck somewhere along the Conception Vessel, probably between the Huiyin point and Qihai point, but it is better if we have a physician take a look—”

“Absolutely not,” Yan Wushi was adamant about this.

“Yan-lang, now is not the time to be headstrong,” Shen Qiao tried to persuade his partner. “Who knows what will happen if we do not act quickly to resolve the qi deviation?”

“This venerable one will not let anyone else touch me other than you.”

“I do not know how to help you…” Shen Qiao said, powerless against the demonic sovereign when he was acting so childishly, “perhaps with acupuncture…?”

“I do,” Yan Wushi said quickly, “and it definitely does not involve needles.”

He internally shuddered at the thought of those sharp, silver, pointy metal bits entering his acupressure points.

“All right,” Shen Qiao acquiesced with a resigned sigh, “will you at least tell me how, then?”

“It is quite simple, really,” one corner of Yan Wushi’s lips curved up into a slight grin, and Shen Qiao suddenly had a bad feeling about this, “I just need Ah-Qiao to enter me and climax inside me while at the same time stimulate a few specific acupressure points on my body with your qi.”

“… pardon me?”

It was solely thanks to Shen Qiao’s strict upbringing that he didn’t instantly slap Yan Wushi across the face and leave.

Rather than repeating himself – because he was sure that Shen Qiao had heard exactly what he’d said – Yan Wushi guided his husband’s hand from his mouth and southward, past his chest and stomach, and finally let it rest on his crotch, which, despite the layers of clothing, was quite obviously stirring in interest, as it had been for the past few days no matter how many times Yan Wushi had tried to resolve this problem by himself.

“Please, Ah-Qiao, will you not help your poor husband out? You know I do not beg easily, but for you…” Yan Wushi grinded up against Shen Qiao’s palm, and even though that slight friction was not nearly enough to quench his yearning, knowing that it was Shen Qiao who was touching him down there was sufficient to make the demonic sovereign bite his lower lip to dampen the whimper that was slipping out prettily. His body trembled with want, aching to be touched; he had to internally force his own frame to remain in place instead of springing up like a predator to trap Shen Qiao within his arms.

“Yan-lang, you know you never have to plead with me if you truly need help, right?” Shen Qiao was not used to seeing this side of Yan Wushi. Even as young as Xie Ling and as mellow as Ah-Yan were, none of his split personalities had ever acted like this. From Yan Wushi’s own perspective, this kind of behavior was unbecoming, a display of weakness, a sign of disgrace, and so he would never have allowed himself to fall into this pathetic state.

Shen Qiao’s fingers were twitching from the heat emanating from Yan Wushi’s erection, so it was a wonder he was able to inquire in a calm tone, “but are you certain that this is the only way to redirect your qi?”

“My good Ah-Qiao, please… I… I need you to touch me or I am literally going to die.”

Now Yan Wushi was being rather dramatic, and they both knew it. Even Shen Qiao was trying hard not to crack a smile at that as Yan Wushi continued his lament.

“Is that what you want? Do you want your husband to die from something as ridiculous as sexually-driven qi deviation?”

“For someone who is supposedly suffering, Yan-zongzhu sure runs his mouth too much,” Shen Qiao’s inhibition had melted away, and his worry seemed to have alleviated somewhat as well, after seeing that Yan Wushi was still capable of his melodramatic antics. “Shall I put your mouth to better use?”

Shen Qiao allowed himself to be pulled forward and down until their noses were nuzzling against each other’s, their breaths mingling hotly while the sect leader of Xuan Du ran his fingers back up to his exposed chest, splaying his hand against the patch of warm skin there. Feeling his husband’s heart thrumming beneath his fingertips, Shen Qiao’s own chest felt full of emotions that were impossible to put into words, so he didn’t try – not when he could communicate those feelings through his actions.

“And what does Shen-zhangjiao suggest?” Yan Wushi whispered, each word branding against the other man’s lips like the sweetest poison.

Shen Qiao wordlessly closed the distance between them, first with a chaste kiss of lips gently touching, and then almost instantly flared into a wet, messy clashing of mouths, teeth, and tongues initiated by Yan Wushi. Before long, however, even the demonic sovereign was feeling the radiating waves of heat and languor struck his muscles once more, and Shen Qiao was able to regain control by trapping Yan Wushi’s wrists to his sides while he counterattacked with biting kisses and soothing licks along the side of his neck.

Red and violet bruises bloomed like sweet fragrant alyssum blossoms where Shen Qiao’s mouth roamed, and the mere thought of the pure and virtuous Shen-zhangjiao of Xuan Du Sect marking him thus was making Yan Wushi harder than ever, and he made sure to let Shen Qiao know by releasing needy, broken moans of “Ah-Qiao” and “hurry”.

Soon enough, Shen Qiao had Yan Wushi’s robes removed and pants halfway tangled down his muscular legs, and while Shen Qiao had been imbued with an intoxicating sense of new-found confidence that had allowed him to initiate the kiss, yet as soon as he had laid bare Yan Wushi, his eyes roaming along the expanse of tanned skin and taut muscles aching to be touched and marred, the Daoist found himself hesitating once more.

He’d been kissing his way down his husband’s hipbone and the junction between his hip and thigh, and Shen Qiao could smell the musk of Yan Wushi’s arousal, which only served to make his cheeks heat up more. He froze at the sight of his husband’s swollen and dripping cock.

“You know…” Shen Qiao started, gaze downcast, “I have never done this before, so let me know if you feel any discomfort or pain…”

As if Yan Wushi needed that reminder.

He’d been trying so hard to maintain the last thread of self-control he had, too, and one innocent comment from his dear husband had completely shattered what sanity remained inside of him.

“My good Ah-Qiao,” Yan Wushi breathed out, reaching for the other man’s hands, and their fingers interlaced as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “no matter what you do to me, I am certain that I will have nothing but praises for you.”

Shen Qiao shook his head once and laughed softly, the sound and his expression so tender that Yan Wushi couldn’t help but squeeze his fingers tighter before guiding those same calloused hands to where Yan Wushi needed him to touch.

His cock was slick and hot – almost abnormally so, which Shen Qiao supposed made sense since this was a symptom of qi deviation – but it didn’t diminish the fact that it was big, the shine of pre-cum drooling from the tip simultaneously tempting and intimidating.

Shen Qiao swallowed at the sight despite Yan Wushi’s generous words, and tentatively, he licked the tip and contemplated the responsive shudder that ran up Yan Wushi’s spine.

A good sign, Shen Qiao mused quietly to himself, and then he did it again – small, experimental flicks of his tongue against the velvety skin of the head as if he was tasting a new flavor of candy. Shen Qiao decided he rather liked it, especially the interesting reactions his gesture seemed to be kindling in Yan Wushi, the way he hissed impatiently and tangling his fingers into Shen Qiao’s hair, tugging to beg wordlessly.

Encouraged by his husband’s response, Shen Qiao took it a step further, and envelope the entire head into the moist cavern of his mouth, first delicately wrapping his lips around the tip and taking care to not let his teeth scrape against the sensitive skin there, then slowly swallowing Yan Wushi centimeter by centimeter until he found it hard to breath and his jaw began to ach.

“Gods, Ah-Qiao, you are going to be the death of me…” Yan Wushi murmured shakily, his hand cradling the back of Shen Qiao’s head gently while fingers idly played with his frost green hair ribbon. The cold silk felt like cooling water in the springtime against his fingertips, and it reminded Yan Wushi of that one night when he used that exact hair ribbon to tie Shen Qiao’s wrists while he had his way with him.

The memories didn’t serve him well, for a stream of unfathomable heat and prickling desire blazed down his meridian network and made his cock twitch in Shen Qiao’s mouth.

Shen Qiao’s eyes flickered up to check on his husband, and noticed that Yan Wushi had one arm thrown across his face in an attempt to muffle his moans. His hazel eyes darkened, and he resumed to sucking; where his mouth couldn’t reach, Shen Qiao made use of his hand at the base, pumping in time with the movement of his mouth and tongue and sliding wetly up and down Yan Wushi’s length.

Feeling his thighs beginning to shake at the anticipation of release, Shen Qiao pulled up but his hand didn’t let up its pace. He peppered contrastingly soft kisses along the inside of Yan Wushi’s thigh while his hand tugged in a tempo that was verging on brutal, but that was exactly what Yan Wushi needed.

It didn’t take long for him to climax into Shen Qiao’s hand with a choked groan, and strands of white landed on his own abdomen as well as on his husband’s still clean and meticulous robes.

“W-was that all right?” Shen Qiao asked, uncertainty tinting his hoarse whisper as he climbed back up to look at Yan Wushi properly. He was about to measure the man’s pulse again when he saw tear streaks down Yan Wushi’s cheeks. Heart seized up in a panic, he quickly dabbed the wetness away with his sleeve, a trail of apologies ready on his tongue.

Yan Wushi caught his forearm and planted a small kiss on the inside of his wrist.

“It was more than all right,” Yan Wushi assured him with a languid smile, releasing Shen Qiao’s hand and raising his arm up to brush his thumb against the other man’s red and abused lower lip, the colour so mesmerizing that he couldn’t help but pull Shen Qiao down for a brief but dirty, open-mouthed kiss before murmuring against his ear once they both ran out of air, “in fact, I think I am already starting to feel better, but you know this husband needs more, right?”

Shen Qiao nodded, biting his lip. After easing off of Yan Wushi’s body, he shrugged off his soiled outer robe and moved to retrieve the ceramic vial that he knew his husband kept inside a hidden compartment by the side of their bed. He fumbled with the stopper until it popped out, and he shakily poured out a significant amount of carrageenan extract into his hand.

The texture of it was a little off-putting – a sticky gel-like consistency that reminded him of… another kind of bodily fluid – but he wanted to ensure that he wouldn’t hurt Yan Wushi in the process. After all, Shen Qiao himself wasn’t very experienced, and though this whole ordeal was nothing but a medical treatment, the sect leader of Xuan Du still needed to ensure that Yan Wushi would not be wounded further.

“You will tell me if I am hurting you, will you not?”

The concern in his eyes was genuine. Everything about Shen Qiao was genuine, and Yan Wushi used to think this kind of naturally honest nature was the trait of an absolute fool, yet here he was, in love with a so-called fool.

Maybe he was the one who’d become a fool after all this time.

He didn’t have enough time to contemplate any further than that, because Shen Qiao was kissing him on the mouth when he didn’t answer.

“Yan-lang?”

Yan Wushi couldn’t find it in himself to tease his husband this time, so with equal sincerity, he said, “I will, Ah-Qiao.”

“Good,” Shen Qiao nodded with a small satisfied smile.

With his fingers slicked up with lubricant, Shen Qiao once again returned his attention to his present task. He knelt between Yan Wushi’s legs, which he had opened up slightly wider to more easily accommodate his partner, and carefully slipped the tip of his middle finger into Yan Wushi’s puckered hole.

Unaccustomed to the strange sensation down there, Yan Wushi instinctively wanted to escape from the touch by closing his legs together, but Shen Qiao steadied him with his other hand by firmly pushing against his thigh while pushing his finger further in until the entire digit was swallowed up by the warm tightness.

“Nnng… Ah-Qiao… it feels odd…” Yan Wushi exhaled with a tremulous murmur.

“Odd in a good way or in a bad way?” Shen Qiao asked, stilling his motion and lifting his gaze back up to Yan Wushi’s face to observe his expression.

“Undetermined,” Yan Wushi decided, letting his eyes fall close and breathing out to try to relax his body. The unyielding roiling waves of gnawing desire had subsided a little after he’d climaxed earlier, but with his qi still stuck, that unwelcoming stream of energy was beginning to gather at the pit of his stomach all too soon, causing his cock to stir again even though he hadn’t been touched there yet.

“Hm,” Shen Qiao only hummed thoughtfully. He opted to continue for now.

He pumped his finger in and out a few times to allow Yan Wushi to get used to the sensation before he increased the pace and added a second finger, crooking them in a shallow angle to find the correct acupressure points. To Shen Qiao’s delight, the gesture caused Yan Wushi’s breathing to quicken, his chest rising and falling in tormented groans. His cock lengthened and swelled with blood, and was soon back to its full strength.

“Haaah… Ah-Qiao, keep going…”

The fingering had felt good – so damn good – even though Shen Qiao claimed that he was inexperienced. He must have picked up some skills from Yan Wushi during their previous intimate nights, for after the early moment of embarrassment and hesitation, the way he manipulated Yan Wushi’s body with his slender and calloused fingers had become proficient and deadly.

“I am going to start transferring my qi through your acupoints starting from the Qugu point,” Shen Qiao said, trying to tear his eyes away from Yan Wushi’s debauched expression – silvery-white and ink-black hair sticking to his sweat-slicked skin, eyes squeezed close, head craned back to expose the strong line of his throat, and the occasional moans slipping past his throat – but as he shifted his gaze back to where his fingers were, still buried deep within Yan Wushi’s hole, which had turned dusty pink and glistening from the extract around the ridge, Shen Qiao was starting to question his ability to carry on this operation.

“W-what?”

The feverish desire had reached its new height so that Yan Wushi was unable to think clearly. He was only vaguely aware that Shen Qiao said something and that he needed something much bigger and thicker to fill the void that was verging on swallowing his whole being.

“Never mind,” Shen Qiao said and took a deep breath to regain focus. With attentive eyes and precise execution, Shen Qiao directed the qi inside of his own body so that it flowed in a gradual stream towards the tips of his middle and ring fingers; when he grazed upwards, he aimed the flow of qi to the Qugu point, which was physically the closest to where his fingertips were.

From there, Shen Qiao pushed his qi forward, testing the give of the entire trail of Conception Vessel before forcing it through to the next acupoint, up Zhongji and pierced through to Guanyuan.

“Yan-lang, how do you feel?”

Yan Wushi had been chillingly quiet since Shen Qiao had started transferring his own qi into his husband’s body, and his abnormal silence made the Daoist thought that maybe the demonic sovereign was rejecting his qi due to their different martial arts origins.

“Ah-Qiao…” he gasped, eyes hooded and the blood-red of his irises just a thin ring from his fully dilated pupils, “too… too much…”

Shen Qiao’s heart thudded against his ribcage at how wrecked Yan Wushi sounded. He’d never seen the man like this, even when he was lost in the deepest end of pleasure, and somewhere buried, hidden, and shaped by years of Daoist teachings and morals was an instinctive part of Shen Qiao that had woken up from seeing this vulnerable, intimate side of the usually self-assured and strong Yan Wushi, the cold, ruthless, selfish leader of Huan Yue Sect.

“Yan-lang,” Shen Qiao caressed his husband’s cheek in comfort, wiping away a stray tear that’d escaped his eyes, “we are almost there, just hold on for Ah-Qiao’s sake. Will you do that for me?”

Yan Wushi closed his eyes and shook his head, and his body seemed to suddenly stop being pliant as well.

Shen Qiao’s qi couldn’t advance further; if he kept forcing it, he might risk injuring the rest of Yan Wushi’s meridian system, and that was the last thing Shen Qiao wanted.

“All right, all right,” Shen Qiao cooed, gently taking his fingers out.

Yan Wushi sighed out with a shuddering breath, half in relief and half in lament at the dizzying empty feeling.

If this method didn’t work, he might need to find another way. Shen Qiao was nothing if not resourceful.

“Ah-Qiao, I want you…” Yan Wushi grasped Shen Qiao’s right hand and placed it pointedly against his husband’s clothed arousal, the fabric of which had already been darkened from spots of precum.

“!”

Shen Qiao shuddered when Yan Wushi weakly squeezed his cock through his trousers.

Well, Yan Wushi never had been one to beat around the bush, so Shen Qiao didn’t know what he’d been expecting.

“I —” Shen Qiao paused. Verbally expressing his affection for his husband still didn’t come easily to him, but there were rare moments like this that he found it to be the simplest, most natural thing to do. “I want you, too, Yan-lang.”

The candles were burning dangerously low, and a few had already extinguished, casting the room deeper into the night.

After removing the rest of his clothing, Shen Qiao folded the blanket into a make-shift cushion and placed it under his partner’s lower back before settling back between Yan Wushi’s legs. With one hand wrapped around Yan Wushi’s waist to steady him and the other gently parting the two mounds of firm muscles to reveal the slightly swollen hole, Shen Qiao lined himself up.

All this time, he’d been so focused on mending Yan Wushi’s meridian network that he’d been neglecting his own desire, and now that it’d been freed from the restraint of his undergarment, it was clear that Shen Qiao had been holding back.

He started slow – for both Yan Wushi and his own sanity.

The tip went in easily enough from the ample preparation and Shen Qiao’s own precum lubricating the first part of the entry. The velvet heat that instantly surrounded him was intoxicating, and if Shen Qiao had less self-control, he’d have immediately slammed himself in as deep and hard as he could, but in the end, he managed to reign in that flaring craving that was slowly but surely burning his logic and patience into ashes.

Resisting the urge to thrust all the way in took all of Shen Qiao’s willpower; his knuckles turned white from how hard he was grasping onto Yan Wushi’s hips, which would surely leave bruises that the demonic sovereign would later smugly show his embarrassed husband.

Little by little, Shen Qiao pushed himself into that addictive and delicious heat, all the time still observing for any ailing changes in Yan Wushi’s body. If anything, it seemed having Shen Qiao slowly fucking himself into him only made him more vocal.

“D-do not stop, please… feels good…” Yan Wushi wasn’t helping a bit as he wrapped his legs tightly around Shen Qiao’s waist, imploring for him to go deeper.

Seeing that he wasn’t causing his partner any discomfort, Shen Qiao steeled himself and plunged all the way in until he was fully sheathed. He panted harshly into Yan Wushi’s mouth, who slipped his tongue sloppily into the offered mouth and teased Shen Qiao with filthy kisses that had them both breathing hard.

Shen Qiao finally lost that last strand of calm composure. Foreheads touching, eyes clouded by ravenous hunger, and forearms caging Yan Wushi’s yearning body between his arms, Shen Qiao pulled out slightly and thrusted back in, with enough force to make Yan Wushi gasp and scrambling for purchase.

He did it again and again, skin slapping against skin, the sound seeming to resonate within the walls of their sacred bedchamber, each time more urgent and more fervent than the last.

“Mnnn…. Fuck, Ah-Qiao feels so good inside me…”

“Haah… ah… do you feel no shame, Yan-zongzhu?” Shen Qiao nuzzled the side of Yan Wushi’s neck and kissed him roughly there, leaving more small bruises and teeth marks that wouldn’t fade for days.

“Aww… what happened to calling me ‘Yan-lang’?” Yan Wushi chuckled, placing one hand against the back of Shen Qiao’s head. A soft tug on the ribbon loosened the elegant twist of hair that cascaded over Shen Qiao’s pale shoulders like ink splashing on canvas. “Did I perhaps unknowingly anger Ah-Qiao?”

Shen Qiao paused, leaving only the tip of his cock inside his partner, which instantly drove Yan Wushi to buckle his hips upward in a sorry endeavor to tempt Shen Qiao into moving. He gave Yan Wushi a pointed glare, though the intended effect was dampened by the blush spreading from his cheeks down to his neck and chest and the fact that he was, in fact, fucking Yan Wushi into their bed.

“You know what you did,” Shen Qiao mumbled, finding himself impossible to be truly mad at him in this current situation.

“Hmm…” Yan Wushi scattered soft kisses on the other man’s forehead, eyelids, the bridge of his nose, and finally licking the shell of his ear, he continued with a grin, “can it be that Ah-Qiao is flustered by what I said?”

“There is no need for you to be using such foul and explicit language,” Shen Qiao argued, turning his head away, but it only gave Yan Wushi the perfect angle to kiss down his neck and nibble his collarbone.

“Oh, but there is a need,” Yan Wushi countered, tightening his legs around Shen Qiao’s waist so that he was dragged back into where Yan Wushi needed him to be. The fullness that had at first felt overwhelming was now a welcoming sensation, and he could feel the few acupoints that Shen Qiao had sent his qi through had been cleared, but there were still two spots that he knew needed to be unclogged before his own torrent of qi could flow smoothly and safely. “I need to tell Ah-Qiao how well he had been treating this husband, do I not? And I cannot find the adequate language unless I am using those exact words. Is there something wrong with that? Does Ah-Qiao not like it when I give you compliments?”

“I-It is not like that!”

There was no use having a proper discussion with Yan Wushi’s twisted sense of logic, so Shen Qiao didn’t try to. Instead, he returned to his previous act, except this time he was thrusting in with more force and fire, almost like he was wordlessly taking his own personal vengeance against Yan Wushi’s body.

“Haaah… Ah-Qiao!” Yan Wushi groaned, casting a half-hearted accusatory glare at the other man when Shen Qiao hit the spot that made him see stars and his hole contract around his husband’s length. “… just because… just because you cannot see yourself winning the argument against this venerable one does not mean you should stoop to such low m— nnnng!” Distracted by the sudden onslaught of flickering flames licking down his back and in the pit of his stomach, Yan Wushi hadn’t noticed the fingers placed strategically across his abdomen until he felt a hot stream of foreign qi invaded his meridian network – just as Shen Qiao’s cock was sweetly, torturously invading his inside.

The pleasure that bloomed and erupted from the coil seated deep within him was blinding; it was wonderful and terrifying, devastating yet cherished. Yan Wushi hardly noticed Shen Qiao’s climax when he was still convulsing and quivering from his own release; thick ropes of milky white cum landed and splattered messily on his own chest and tainted Shen Qiao’s unmarred skin.

His mind was blissfully blank for a brief moment while he waited for Shen Qiao to come down from his high. He sensed more than knew that he was filled to the brim with his husband’s seed, and that the last acupoints had been broached to allow his qi to flow effortlessly again.

The last candle burned out, and the room sank into complete darkness except for the hint of watery light from the crescent moon outside.

“Yan-lang?” Shen Qiao wanted to pull out but an arm thrown carelessly around his lower back stopped him from doing so. He heaved a soft sigh but remained in Yan Wushi’s embrace, laying his head against his husband’s chest despite the sticky, sweaty mess they’d made of each other.

“Hmm?” his voice rumbled in the dark, like the earth trembling beneath Shen Qiao’s feet, the sound irritatingly lackadaisical yet strangely kept his heart and mind at peace.

“Your meridian network…?”

“Thanks to Ah-Qiao’s magnificent medical skills, I believe my qi deviation has been treated and my meridian network perfectly restored,” Yan Wushi said, playing with a strand of Shen Qiao’s hair.

Shen Qiao exhaled in relief.

“Though to be certain that it is entirely healed, we might need to have the same treatment performed again, under Shen-zhangjiao’s skillful practice, of course.”

“Yan Wushi!”

Shen Qiao slapped him on the bicep, which only made Yan Wushi snicker harder.

When his laughter finally died down, and he could hear Shen Qiao’s breathing mellowing, Yan Wushi combed his fingers soothingly through his husband’s slightly tangled locks and murmured against the crown of his head.

“Shen Qiao.”

“Hmm?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Ah-Qiao.”

Shen Qiao opened his eyes blearily and pushed himself up just enough to look at Yan Wushi, who was gazing at him with bright eyes and a tender smile.

“Yes?”

A bit of his lucidity returned at the sight of Yan Wushi’s expression.

“I promise you,” Yan Wushi held onto Shen Qiao’s hand and placed a kiss on the back of it, “from this day on, I promise that no matter what kind of problems I may encounter, Ah-Qiao will be the first to know. In return, will you promise to stay by this venerable one’s side no matter what may become of me?”

“Silly Yan-lang,” Shen Qiao pecked him lightly on the forehead before making himself comfortable on Yan Wushi’s chest again, “always.”

#thousand autumns #qian qiu #yanshen #shan he jian xin #yan wushi #shen qiao #bowie's crappy writing

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c-optimistic · 4 years

Text

diner

or, lena is an irregular regular, kara is stupidly smitten, and alex is really tired with the both of them

Waitressing at her foster father’s 24-hour diner was not how Kara thought she’d be spending her summer. Then again, she also hadn’t imagined she’d end up moving back home because she lost her internship.

(Snapper, she thought for the hundredth time just in that last hour, the name coming out as a curse, reveling in imagining spitting it right into his face.

She hadn’t particularly thought she was capable of hating anyone, but Snapper...he came close.)

“Kara, can you get her?” Alex asked, gesturing towards a table in the back with a title of her head, where a young woman with long, dark hair was sitting, looking engrossed in whatever she was writing in her notebook. “I want to take my break.”

“Oh, is Kelly calling?”

“Shut up,” Alex muttered, cheeks pinking slightly. She huffed for good measure as she took off her apron and tossed it at Kara, already on her phone before she even took a single step outside the diner.

Kara watched Alex go, feeling conflicted.

(She was happy for her sister, she deserved something good in her life. But there were also some feelings she wasn’t altogether proud of, bits of jealousy, annoyance at how much time Alex spent with Kelly instead of her, fear that she was losing her sister.

In a long list of odd things about her, this was the newest oddity: Kara was simultaneously utterly pleased for her sister and resentful at the new shift in their relationship, the room she had to make for Kelly.)

With a sigh, she pulled out her notepad and clicked her pen, approaching the only occupied table in the diner.

(It was late, later than Kara normally worked, this shift reserved for the college students home for the summer looking for a way to make some cash.

Though, considering Kara was one of those college students home for the summer, she supposed this shift was perfect for her.)

“Hi, welcome to Jeremiah’s. Can I get you something to drink?” Kara said robotically, her eyes on her notepad. After a few seconds of silence, she looked up, realizing that the woman hadn’t even stopped writing in her notebook. “Sorry, am I interrupting? I can come back,” she began, even going as far as taking a step back, when suddenly the woman moved. She swept her dark hair back and turned to look at Kara, blue—or maybe green, Kara wasn’t quite sure—eyes meeting Kara’s levelly.

“I’m so sorry,” the woman said, snapping her notebook shut. “Could I get two coffees please? And a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”

Kara blinked. They did not serve PB&Js, they never had, but for whatever reason, it felt like her tongue had been glued to the roof of her mouth when she tried to tell the woman just that. Instead, what came out was a rather inconvenient, “Sure, coming right up.”

She walked over to the kitchen, frowning a little bit when the cook—who had obviously heard everything—eyed her in amusement. Mon-El wiped his hands on his apron, crossing his arms over his chest as she put on a fresh pot of coffee.

“You lied to a customer,” he said with faux-disappointment, grinning. “You and I both know there’s no peanut butter.”

“No,” Kara denied, feeling a flare of anxiety in her chest, “I didn’t lie. I just—oh shut up, why don’t you help out instead of laughing at me?”

“What am I supposed to do?” he said, not even bothering to pretend he wasn’t reveling in her embarrassment. “You’re the one that lied to a customer just because you think she’s pretty.”

“I don’t...you’re such a—why don’t you do something useful with your time, huh?”

“Right, right, right,” Mon-El said, shaking his head slowly, “so I guess you don’t want me to tell you Imra has a brand new jar of peanut butter she bought the other day.” He sighed dramatically. “It’s not like she lives five minutes away and could be here by the time the coffee is ready.”

“You would ask her for me?” Kara found herself saying hopefully, eyeing Mon-El with a little bit of suspicion. “I thought Imra was focusing on her studying and couldn’t waste time here.”

“You want me to ask her?” Mon-El said, eyes widening, smile slipping. “No way, I’m already in the doghouse. She told me if I interrupted her studying again, she’d break up with me.” He gave Kara a knowing look. “Besides, Imra wouldn’t say no to you, especially if you told her it’s for a pretty girl.”

“Stop saying that,” Kara hissed, turning to look over at the woman, relieved to see she was reabsorbed in her notebook. “That’s not what happened.”

“Sure, sure,” Mon-El said casually, pointing at the carafe and the coffee that slowly trickled into it, “but tick tock, Kara.”

She glared at him, but pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Imra, ignoring Mon-El’s smug look when Imra immediately agreed. And like Mon-El had said, by the time the coffee was done, Imra had stopped by, handing the jar of peanut butter over as she stole a glance at the woman sitting in the back, giving Kara an approving thumbs up before Mon-El stole her away for a ‘study break,’ which made Kara pretend to gag.

“So,” Kara said, clearly her throat loudly as she approached the woman, setting down the two cups of coffee and the plate with the sandwich, “are you waiting for someone?” Kara pointed to the second cup, and the woman looked away from her notebook, Kara’s question finally sinking in.

“Hmm? Oh, no. Those are both for me.”

“Oh. Well, refills are free you know. You don’t need to order two.”

The woman blinked, then a small smile appeared on her face. “That’s—thank you, um…?”

“—Kara. My name is Kara.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kara,” the woman said, her voice softer. “I’m Lena.”

“Enjoy your sandwich. And don’t be afraid to shout at me if you need anything, okay?” Kara grinned, rocked back on her heels, then turned away. When she went into the back, Alex was there with Mon-El and Imra, and was eyeing her oddly.

“Really, Kara?” she asked, raising one eyebrow.

“We should probably add peanut butter and jelly to the menu. In the interest of our customers.”

“Right,” Mon-El said, stretching out the word, chuckling when Imra rolled her eyes. “In the interest of our customers.”

“Really, Kara?” Alex just repeated, letting out a sigh.

The next time Lena came in, it was seven in the morning, and she looked like she hadn’t slept all night.

“I haven’t slept all night,” she informed Kara with a small smile, “but it was worth it.”

“Hot date?” Kara asked as she pulled out her notebook, feeling her cheeks flame as soon as the question slipped out, embarrassed at both the jealousy in her tone and the distinctly unprofessional and inappropriate nature of the question.

Thankfully, or maybe just luckily, Lena didn’t seem to hear Kara. “Can I get two cups of coffee and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?”

“Sure thing. But um, you remember that refills are free, right?”

“Hmm?” Lena said distractedly, her eyes now on her phone, frown forming on her lips. “Thanks so much, um,” she turned to Kara, eyes narrowing briefly before falling onto Kara’s nametag, smile reemerging. “Kara,” she finished proudly, as if Kara hadn’t introduced herself just days before.

Kara frowned as she took orders from her other customers, knowing that a crease had appeared between her eyebrows as she approached Alex at the register.

“She doesn’t remember me,” she complained in a whisper.

“Who doesn’t remember you?” Alex mock-whispered right back, eyeing Kara oddly.

“Lena, the woman, the PB&J woman,” Kara explained, rolling her eyes when Alex’s confusion only cleared at the last explanation.

“You mean your crush,” Alex supplied easily, motioning for Kara to go on.

Kara felt her brow furrow further, and she went crossed-eyed as she followed Alex reaching out and pressing against her forehead with her eyes. “I don’t have a crush,” she denied, refocusing her gaze. Alex made a noncommittal sound, lips pressing together. “I don’t,” Kara insisted.

“I think your crush is wondering where her coffee and sandwich is, Kara,” Alex said, motioning with a tilt of her head towards Lena. “If it bothers you so much, just talk to her.”

“Right. Right. Just talk to her.”

(She hyped herself up as she took Lena’s coffee and sandwich to her, but when the woman gave her a small smile, her eyes meeting Kara’s just briefly before she turned back to her phone, Kara chickened out.

Lena deserved to eat her sandwich in peace, and Kara had already made enough of a fool of herself for one day.)

Lena’s presence at the diner began to become regular.

Or rather, it became expectedly unexpected. She showed up several times a week without fail, but the times she showed up were maddenly strange. Once, it was in the middle of the night, another the wee hours of the morning, another in the mid-afternoon, and yet another time smack dab in the middle of the dinner rush. Every time she showed up, she looked exhausted, sleep-deprived, and totally out of it.

And every time, without fail, she ordered her PB&J and two coffees and reintroduced herself before asking Kara for her name.

It drove Kara mad. It made her feel oddly endeared. It left her anxiously waiting for the next time Lena would walk into the diner.

(Mon-El found the whole thing incredibly hilarious. Nia and Brainy, video calling from National City to express how much they missed Kara, immediately noticed she was distracted and kept her eyes on the diner’s entrance, and made fun of her constantly after that.

And Alex? Alex rolled her eyes, sighed, and generally made a big deal of it, but every time Lena walked through the door, Alex would let Kara get her table.

For Kara’s part, she endured the teasing and the laughing without comment, but she rather thought she gave herself away when she made sure to always have a tub of peanut butter on hand, just for Lena.)

They talked beyond the normal ‘what can I get you?’ after one month of Lena’s inconsistently consistent visits to the diner.

She came in, her shoes and coat drenched, her umbrella a broken mess, dripping rainwater onto the linoleum floor. There were purple bags under her eyes, her skin paler than normal, and she heaved a thankful sigh when Kara grabbed a handful of paper towels and handed it to her.

(Kara tried very hard to be respectful and avert her eyes, but it was easy to get distracted by the rainwater trailing down Lena’s neck.)

“Pretty bad storm, huh?” Kara said stupidly, the sound of thunder cracking right at that moment, as if to highlight the obviousness of her statement. “I, um, I live above the diner? So I could get you some dry clothes? If you wanted?”

Lena paused her efforts at patting herself dry, and she stared at Kara with a slightly ajar mouth. “You guys take customer service pretty seriously, don’t you?” she said finally, chuckling. Kara, whose cheeks were bright red, crossed her arms over her chest and forced out a laugh.

“Oh, um, well. You know. Only the best for our regulars.”

(Dumb, Kara thought. That was so dumb.)

“I—” Lena began, but Kara would never know what she intended to say, because right at that moment, Alex showed up, mop in hand.

“You’re dripping on our floors, Lena,” she said, not unkindly, maneuvering her mop in such a way that Lena was forced to take a step closer to Kara—nearly brushing up against her. Not for the first time, Kara was simultaneously annoyed and grateful for her sister’s meddling.

“I’m so sorry,” Lena rushed out, realizing in that moment that her notebook was also sopping wet, the crestfallen expression on her face feeling like a knife twisting in Kara’s chest. “I hadn’t realized how much rain there was, I can just go—”

“—wait, no. Don’t go.” Kara avoided Alex’s gaze entirely, choosing to stare at her shoes instead. “I’ll grab you some clothes and a hairdryer so you can dry off your notebook, and Alex will get you something to eat. Two coffees and a PB&J, right?” Kara looked up, her breath catching just a little when she noticed Lena’s expression: curious, confused, and coy.

“Is that really okay?” she asked, seeming more than a little unsure. Kara nodded quickly, shooting Alex a look and making her nod as well.

“You’re Kara’s favorite regular,” Alex said unhelpfully, grinning when Kara glared at her. “Of course it’s okay.” Lena frowned.

“Oh, sorry, have we met before?”

(And oh, it was like a punch to the gut.

How could someone forget this many times?)

“Don’t worry about it, Lena,” Kara said with a grin, trying to find the humor in it somehow. “Let’s get you dry first.”

(And later, when Lena left while still wearing Kara’s favorite National City University sweatshirt, Kara just sighed.

And later, when Alex asked if she got Lena’s number and Kara confessed she didn’t think to ask, Alex let out a groan so loud that all their customers turned to give her an odd look.)

Two days later, Lena came into the diner wearing Kara’s sweatshirt.

She fell asleep at her table while waiting for her coffee and sandwich, and when Kara gently woke her up she gave Kara a brilliant smile and asked, “Did you know there’s a diner in Midvale that has the best PB&Js in the world?”

“You really need some rest,” Kara replied softly, but Lena’s focus had shifted to her coffee.

And Kara just let it be.

“Can I get three coffees?” Lena asked the next time she came in, nearing midnight. Kara hadn’t even had this shift, but thanks to a new system developed by Alex, whoever happened to be working when Lena came in had the obligation to text Kara (who would, embarrassingly enough, toss her apron on and rush downstairs to the diner in order to serve her favorite customer—a customer who still could not remember all the times Kara had introduced herself).

“Three? Are you trying to sleep even less now?”

“I sleep,” Lena defended, though she didn’t sound like she believed her own words. “No,” she continued, shaking her head as if to physically dispel Kara’s distracting words, “one is for you.”

“For me?” Kara could hardly believe her own two ears. Was the pining and the hoping finally paying off? “You want to have coffee with me?”

“Only if you’re not busy, um, Kara,” Lena said, eyes dropping to Kara’s hastily pinned nametag, apparently completely missing Kara’s overjoyed tone and the way her face fell as she realized Lena didn’t actually remember her. “It’s just—this thing I’m working on is a pain, and sometimes talking it out can help. But I don’t have anyone I can talk to so I thought...well, you’ve been so nice, and I figured I’d ask.” She bit her lip, then hid her face behind her hands. “It was a dumb idea, I’m so sorry.”

“No,” Kara sighed, feeling bad for this woman, and wondering if she should do some research on the effects of sleep deprivation. “No, I can be your sounding board. Let me get your coffee and sandwich, okay?”

(They talked well into the morning—or well, Lena talked. And Kara learned so much. She learned Lena was in Midvale only for the summer, that she had to go back to National City in the fall. She learned Lena was in the middle of what could be a groundbreaking scientific breakthrough on reversing climate change, but that her brother had all but abandoned her in the effort.

She learned that Lena was smart. She was intelligent—talking about theories and principles that Kara had always thought only Alex would ever discuss with her—but she was more than that. She had a whip-like wit, she was clever, funny, and just plain brilliant.

But more than anything, Kara learned about how much Lena cared. She talked passionately about the issues she thought science could solve, admitted she prioritized her work over sleep rather regularly, spending the strangest sort of hours at the lab she’d outfitted in Midvale. She mentioned how much she wanted to just do, how she just wanted to help people, in any way she could.

And if Kara wasn’t in trouble before, well. She definitely was now.)

Lena walked into the diner one late afternoon, looking haggard and exhausted, and Kara couldn’t help but laugh as she brought her coffee and a sandwich.

“You can’t remember refills are free or that my name is Kara, but you can remember to come to this diner?”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Lena said conspiratorially, not even looking over at Kara, clearly too tired to have even noticed who was talking to her, “but I think I have a crush on the waitress.”

“Wanna know a secret?” Alex called from the other side of the diner. “The waitress has a crush on you, too.”

Kara turned to shoot her sister a glare, so she missed the smile that spread on Lena’s face.

“Did you know that I’m only here in Midvale for the summer?” Lena asked Kara sullenly one early morning, a despondent expression on her face as she looked at her sandwich.

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned,” Kara chuckled, moving to sit across from Lena.

(This was new—staying with Lena and chatting with her as she drank her coffee and ate her sandwich. Alex rolled her eyes every time she noticed, and if Eliza didn’t own the diner, Kara was pretty sure she’d be fired.

But although Lena could never fully remember what they talked about, she seemed to enjoy the company.)

“I’ve had my best meals here. I’ll miss it.”

“I genuinely worry if you eat at all when you’re not here if these are your best meals,” Kara confessed, watching with slight amusement as Lena drained the last of her coffee.

“It’s less the food and more the company, really,” Lena said as she put her coffee cup down, her eyes meeting Kara’s briefly.

“How many hours of sleep did you get last night?”

“Hmm?”

“So none?”

“I plead the fifth, your honor,” Lena muttered, averting her gaze. This drew another chuckle out of Kara.

“Come on, why do you bother with flirting when you’re so sleep deprived you won’t remember it anyway?”

Lena let out a soft sigh, meeting Kara’s eyes once more. “It’s the principle of the thing,” she breathed out.

Kara’s heart stuttered and she didn’t protest again.

“Kara, your girlfriend can’t nap at the table,” Alex said tiredly the next afternoon, pointing to where Lena was sitting, head pillowed by her arms, her breathing slow and deep. Kara rolled her eyes in response, making no move to go wake Lena up. Alex snorted. “Didn’t deny the girlfriend part though, did you?”

“Can I get—”

“A PB&J and two coffees?” Kara finished for Lena, holding up the plate in her hand and setting down a cup of coffee. “Refills are free, just so you know.”

“Right, right. I forgot,” Lena chuckled, cheeks reddening. “You know Jeremiah’s has—”

“—the best PB&Js in the world? So you’ve said,” Kara finished with a smile, sitting down across from Lena at her table. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

“No,” Lena admitted sheepishly, taking a sip of her coffee and closing her eyes at the taste—or more likely, at the introduction of caffeine into her system. “I had an idea last night, but nothing I tried would work. I think maybe I need to—why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re interested,” Lena supplied, eyes narrowing just a little.

“We talk about your work pretty often, Lena. Of course I’m interested.” Lena nodded, but she looked uneasy, even suspicious. For a wild moment, Kara wondered if she was in that Adam Sandler movie, and the very thought made her feel a tad nauseous. “I know you forget some details, but you know we talk, don’t you?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Of course I do, Kara,” she said, waving Kara’s concern off easily. “I just—why are you interested?”

“In what?”

“In me?”

“Is that a trick question?” Kara asked, sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest. She knew her crinkle was making a stellar comeback, despite having mostly been held at bay by Lena’s near constant presence at the diner and the hope she’d been nursing in a tiny corner of her heart. Did Lena really not realize how much Kara, well, liked her?

“No, I just—” She cut herself off, looking more tired than ever. “I guess I don’t understand. I’m just some random customer who stole your sweatshirt and talks about work all the time. I don’t get why you’d bother.”

(Kara’s heart broke. Because Lena clearly didn’t realize how amazing she was.

And Kara suddenly knew she had to do everything in her power to make Lena see the light.)

“Because you’re incredible,” she said, not quite thinking it through. Or perhaps, she was thinking it and just chose to say it aloud. In any event, it had its desired effect: Lena’s eyes widened and she was shocked enough that she didn’t seem inclined to interrupt. So Kara rushed on. “I mean, you drink entirely too much coffee. You definitely need to sleep more. And I’m a little worried about your diet, and coming from me, that means your diet is really bad. But, gosh, Lena. You’re brilliant.”

“I really don’t think—” Lena tried, her cheeks bright red, but Kara wasn’t anywhere close to done.

“—you’re witty and kind and so smart. You care about so much, and you get this funny look on your face every time I have to remind you that refills are free, and when you’re really passionate about something, you wave your hands around. Also you snore a bit, but it’s the good kind, you know?”

“I snore? Wait, there’s a good kind of snoring?” Lena muttered, but Kara was on a roll.

“Sometimes when you laugh, you let out a snort, and that means you actually found it funny. And when you remember you’re talking about something we’ve already talked about, you duck your head and mumble, but then continue talking about it anyway. Why do I bother?” Kara asked rhetorically. “I’d be crazy not to.”

For nearly a whole minute, Lena was silent, and for a moment, Kara worried she’d been too much, revealed too much. But then, a smile broke on Lena’s face—wide, uninhibited, and overwhelmed. “Well, tell me how you really feel, why don’t you,” she joked, going for smug but managing only awe.

“I’m never going to get my sweatshirt back, am I?” Kara asked, dropping the topic they were on, both to spare Lena any further blushing (the red reaching past her ears and down her neck) and also to hide the depths of her own feelings (though she was rather sure that was a lost cause at this point).

“Nope,” Lena said, stressing the pop in the word and returning to her coffee.

“I was twelve the first time I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, you know,” Lena informed her conversationally one night. She kept her tone purposefully light, but Kara could tell it was taking a lot more effort for her to speak than normal. Her eyes were dull, the bags beneath her eyes still prominent but not quite purple like they’d been earlier in the summer. It looked like, in all honesty, that she’d had a decent amount of sleep recently, but for whatever reason, that didn’t translate to her mood.

“Twelve? That’s pretty late in the game,” Kara offered, chewing on her lip. She’d had her first PB&J when she was fourteen, so she wasn’t really in much of a position to judge. Then again, considering she didn’t even know the things existed until after she landed on this planet, she thought she could be excused.

“My adoptive parents were...well, strict,” Lena explained, shrugging. She was on her third cup of coffee, idly tearing at the sandwich in front of her, not having taken a single bite since she had it placed in front of her. “They were more into forcing my brother and I to pretend we liked foie gras and caviar at their silly functions than they were into feeding us something we may actually like.”

“Foie gras, huh,” Kara repeated, trying hard not to say anything. And yet: “Isn’t that when they—”

“Yup, that’s it.”

“Huh.”

“One night, after barely eating anything at one of these functions, my parents sent my brother and I to bed. You know, kind of like that scene in Sound of Music, except without the singing.”

“I’m sure it was adorable anyway,” Kara said lightly, hoping to make Lena smile. It worked: Lena’s lips quirked, and her eyes—so lifeless when they were usually so full of light—brightened just a bit.

“We decided we’d sneak into the kitchen. Get some real food from the staff. Something, you know?” Lena continued, urged on by Kara’s nodding. “But our nanny caught us.”

“Oh. So it actually was like Sound of Music,” Kara blurted out, unable to help her silly joke. Her view of Lena suddenly had morphed—she saw a lonely girl adopted into a rich family, and the obvious admiration in her voice for her brother taking on a tinge of melancholy as Kara remembered their relationship was strained. And it made her sad.

(Kara was no stranger to pain or sorrow, but she had always been able to comfort herself and surround herself with those she loved and loved her.

But who loved Lena?)

“She was furious at us,” Lena continued, only raising an eyebrow at Kara’s interruption, though her lips had quirked once more. “If we’d gotten caught by my father—or worse, my mother—she would have lost her job.” She let out a sigh, a frown tugging at her tiny smile until it evaporated completely, her brows furrowing, and her eyes shifting to the ceiling. “I told her what we were doing, why we weren’t in bed, and she got this look on her face. I can’t explain it.” Lena finally noticed she’d shredded her sandwich into an unrecognizable mess, and she withdrew her hands from the table, though Kara could tell she was still fidgeting with them in her lap. “She had her own small room. Had outfitted it with one of those mini-fridges and a burner plate, so she could avoid taking meals in the kitchen. I didn’t realize until much later that she had wanted to stay out of my mother’s way as much as possible.”

“Oh Lena,” Kara muttered, hearing the self-disgust in Lena’s tone, and not knowing what to do or say.

“So she took us to her room. Showed us her stash of peanut butter. Made us as many sandwiches as we wanted that night. She swore us to secrecy—my mother would never have approved of it, I don’t even think she allowed peanut butter in the house.” Lena stopped suddenly, the slight amusement in her tone dissipating as she took in a deep breath. “It didn’t matter anyway. She was fired soon after.” Lena sighed again and fell silent.

“Why are you telling me all this?” Kara asked quietly when the silence stretched out for several long minutes, Lena clearly lost in thought.

“I just—it was the first time I vividly remember someone doing something kind just for the sake of being kind,” Lena explained slowly, her eyes meeting Kara’s. “I named the environmental initiative after her, you know. The BETH Project. But right as I’m about to make a breakthrough—” She stopped, groaned, dropping her head to the table. “My brother cut funding. Decided he wants LuthorCorp to focus on other endeavours. He says this is a waste of time.” Her voice was slightly muffled by the wooden table, but her words were crystal clear.

(And suddenly, a lot of things made sense: Lena’s money, her genius, her relationship with her brother, the fact she could just up and go to a small town in order to work on her research.

She was Lena Luthor, as in one of the smartest people in the world.

And Kara had been too busy feeding her sandwiches and falling in love with her to notice.)

“When did this happen?” Kara asked, her thoughts straying to something else. After all, if her research had been defunded, did that mean Lena would leave?

“Yesterday. After I got off the phone with him, I just...slept. For I think eighteen hours straight. I just—I’m wanted back soon, and I realized that I’d like to be here as much as possible until then.” She raised her head, eyeing Kara warily, as if worried Kara would react poorly to the confession.

(Kara’s heart thudded in her chest, practically pounding against her ribs, and for a moment she felt a little dizzy.

Lena wanted to be here as much as possible.)

“Well, the diner is always open to you,” Kara managed, giving Lena a grin.

“I’m not exactly here for the diner,” Lena laughed, the normal glint, light, brightness of her eyes reappearing. “I only ever came here again after the first time because of you.” Something must have shown on her face, because Lena’s smile widened just a bit. “You went out of your way to get me something not even on the menu. Kind for the sake of being kind.”

Kara felt guilt twist in her chest for a moment, deciding almost immediately to come clean. “It wasn’t like that,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose. “You’re, um, really pretty. Did you know that?” If she thought this would make Lena get up and storm off, if she thought it would scare her away, Kara was sorely mistaken.

It made Lena chuckle, made her place one of her hands back on the table, palm up—a clear invitation.

“I had similar thoughts about you when I kept coming back,” Lena informed her.

(So Kara took her hand.)

“I saw you two holding hands,” Alex said with a grin a few hours later, Kelly shaking her head in amusement behind her. “So did you finally ask her out?”

Kara scoffed. “Of course not. She’s Lena Luthor. Why would she want to date me?”

From the kitchen, Mon-El let out a loud, annoyed groan, Alex sighed tiredly, and Kelly chuckled victoriously.

“You owe me twenty bucks,” she informed her girlfriend, looking mighty pleased with herself.

Alex, however, was focused on Kara. “What are you waiting for?” she asked, frowning. “She makes those eyes at you, and you still don’t realize she likes you?”

(And well, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t that Kara didn’t realize. She suspected her feelings were returned but, well….

Lena was changing the world, and Kara was still struggling with the sting of Snapper dropping her from the internship with his newspaper.)

“It’s fine, Alex,” Kelly interjected, looking from Kara to her girlfriend and her instincts to help kicking in. “Maybe we should give Kara some space.”

Lena stopped coming in at inconsistently consistent times. Rather, she showed up at Kara’s shifts, and then came up with things for them to do when Kara wasn’t working.

(She was no longer sleep-deprived and forgetful. She focused on Kara’s every word, seemingly endlessly interested in what Kara had to say, and she never seemed to tire of Kara’s presence.

It was wonderful. More than wonderful. Kara was at a loss to explain it.)

These ‘dates’ as Alex called them were going incredibly well. Until one afternoon, when Kara was sitting across from Lena as she took her break, and her hands clenched into fists when a guy who clearly wasn’t from Midvale walked over to their table, and grinned down at Lena.

“Hey,” he said, making a strange movement with his head, chin jutting out. “You come here often?”

(What a terrible line. What a terrible, terrible, terrible—)

“I do, actually,” Lena responded, her eyes on Kara. “I have a crush on the waitress.”

“Right,” said the guy, though he looked confused. After a moment, when it became clear neither Kara nor Lena would say anything else (or even look at him), he made the strange movement with his head again and returned to his own table.

“Sorry,” Lena said once he was gone, eyes still focused on Kara, running her teeth over her bottom lip. “Men, right?” she said, as if they were in on a joke.

“Ah, the perils of being an attractive woman,” Kara offered, forcing her hands to unclench, trying to keep up with the light tone, not sure if she was so angry because she was jealous or because that guy felt he had the right to come up and try to talk to Lena when Kara was right there, when she was...well, a friend?

“Do you think I’m attractive?” Lena asked, her voice full of something Kara couldn’t quite name, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Everyone thinks you’re attractive,” Kara said, eyes finding that guy again and glaring.

“Right. But do you?”

(It felt like a test. And when Kara turned back to her, Lena looked so invested in the answer.

And she felt herself give in.)

“Why wouldn’t I be included in ‘everyone?’” she tried, hedging just a bit more.

“I don’t care what ‘everyone’ thinks. I care what you think.”

Kara heaved a deep breath, trying to control her pounding heart. “Obviously, I think you’re attractive,” she admitted, thinking it was worth saying when Lena’s expression turned utterly pleased.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I think you’re attractive too.”

(And it did.

Make Kara feel better.)

They were outside the back entrance of the diner, sitting on the steps with their knees drawn up to their chests.

“Are you sure you have to leave tomorrow?” Kara asked softly, wishing she didn’t have to break the silence between them. Lena’s shoulder was pressed against hers, and despite the hot, muggy day, she didn’t quite mind it. In fact, she moved closer, wanting as much of Lena as she could get before she had to go without her.

“The NC branch of LuthorCorp needs someone to head it. Lex has asked me. He’s been acting strangely lately, I don’t feel comfortable saying no to him right now.”

“You know, it’s funny,” Kara mumbled, staring at her shoes, determinedly not thinking about Lena leaving, “I wasn’t even supposed to be here this summer. But my internship was scrapped because Snapper Carr and Lois Lane are working on some exposé to do with arms deals.” She looked over at Lena with a smile. “Is it terrible that I’m sort of glad now? I mean, I needed Snapper’s recommendation, so I’ll never get to work for Cat Grant, but I met you. It seems...worth it.”

“I have some connections,” Lena said, bumping her shoulder against Kara’s. “I could talk to Cat Grant for you.”

“My cousin offered too, but no. I want to get a job with her on my own merits.”

“You’ll get one. She’ll be crazy not to hire you.”

Kara smiled gratefully and they lapsed into silence, hands tangled between them. But as the seconds stretched into minutes, Lena seemed increasingly...agitated.

“You live in National City, right?” she asked suddenly, pulling away rather abruptly and roughly.

“Y-yeah,” Kara answered, a little confused.

“And you’ll be back in National City once your term starts? What two weeks from now?”

“Yes?”

“Then why are we acting like this is the last time we’ll see each other?” She sounded a little...well, angry. Kara blinked in confusion.

“Lena...you’re a prodigy. You have like a dozen degrees—”

“—don’t exaggerate—”

“—you’re going to be in charge of the LuthorCorp branch in National City. And I’m just a journalism student without career prospects after graduation.”

(And an alien. But she figured that conversation could wait.)

“Kara, stop,” Lena hissed, turning slightly so that she was facing Kara completely. Kara missed her warmth. “Listen, it’s really simple. I like you. I really like you. Do you like me?”

Kara was too shocked by the bluntness of the question and the forcefulness of the way Lena had expressed her own feelings to think too hard about what words came out of her mouth next. “I—yes, of course I do, how could I not?”

“Then would you do me a favor?”

“Yeah—yes, of course. Anything.”

“Would you promise that you’ll ask me out on a real date when we’re both in National City and then could you please, please, just kiss me?”

(It took a moment for Kara to comprehend the request, but when she finally did she was all too happy to comply.

And if she did it in the reverse order—well, neither of them much minded.)

#supergirl #fanfic #new #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp

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4tlas-hyper · 3 years

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I need to rant about something real quick(spoilers for pretty much the entire series of ninjago).

Keep in mind that this is strictly my own opinion, and if you disagree, that's more than valid, I'd actually much like to hear your side so long as it is presented in a respectful manor.

I don't know who's fault it is, and I'm not going to name any names, but what the fuck happened to Ninjago? Everything before season 11 was decent at worst, and absolutely fantastic at best(I'm not counting any spin offs in that btw, half of that stuff isn't even canon anyway). Now it's just good at best and unwatchable at worst(I haven't been able to watch seabound yet because it's that bad)

In 2018 when Sons of Garmadon and Hunted(seasons 8 and 9 respectively) released, I was super excited to see where the show would go with this darker style, I felt like the show was growing up with me. I was slightly disapointed by March of the Oni(season 10), but that was due to poor pacing and the season feeling rushed, so I was still optimistic for what was to come.

And then, I watched Forbidden Spinjitzu(season 11), and I absolutely fucking hated it. The main villian of the first half wasn't a bad villian by any means, just that she fit litterally every trope that the show had used in the show already. She's a snake, she has been dormant for a long as time before accidentally being released by the ninja who were being idiots, she has beef with Wu, and she does something bad to Zane(because he's the punching bag for the writers apparently, which worked once, maybe twice before it got old). Also, Kai lost his powers and became a sad sack of shit, which is completely out of character for him, because before he had his powers and the other times they got taken away, he'd jump into the fray without a second thought.

The second half of the season was even more shitty, there was a fucking twist villian because of course there was, and it was a surprise to absolutely no one that it was Zane(they weren't going to keep the guy's identity a secret and have it be a completely new character, so it litterally couldn't have been anyone else). Their explaination for how he became a villian, you might ask, he got his memories earased and was told by the first person he saw that he was the emperor and went with it, not questioning a single thing even decades later. Oh yeah, it was decades, because time passes differently in the whatever realm(I know it had an actual name, but I don't care enough to remember it), because of course they'd use another cheap writing trope in a season full of cheap writing tropes, but if time passes slower in that realm, then the ninja would've showed up back in Ninjago a few minutes after leaving, an hour at most(I'm not doing the math for shit), so that episode with Pixal and Wu trying to find them using more powerful travelers tea(also known as the worst episode in the season, and used to be the worst in the whole series until season 14 happened, but we'll get to that later) shouldn't have even happened. Also there was a massive inconsistency where Kai got his powers back and then closer to the finally there was a super dramatic scene with him using them and everyone acted like he'd just gotten them back, like, we're already retconing stuff and the season isn't even over yet, that's impressive.

That isn't to say that there wasn't stuff I liked about it, I thought the part where they were stranded on a rock in the middle of a desert was fun, getting to see Skales and the other serpintine again was nice. And the comedy in this show is still funny despite me absolutely despising almost everything else.

Prime Empire was definately better, so I don't have as much to say about it. I think the legacy shorts that came right before should've been included in the actual season(except maybe the dance one, it doesn't fit nearly as well as the others). The mechanic shouldn't have been an actual villian, he was only good as a small source of conflict in season 6 and his brief cameo in season 8 was fun(but it was just that, a cameo, absolutely no reason for him to become a major character). The episode with Zane being a dectective was hard to watch because of how much of a fool he was making of himself(he's supposed to be the smart one for fuck's sake), and of course that eventually led to him getting captured and almost killed for the umpteenth time. Unagam1's redemption arc was so godamn short it doesn't even count as an arc.

Now for the positives, to say the fight scene between Lloyd and a digital recreation of Harumi was great would be an understatement, and I like that he actually lost and got cubed(which was likened to death, but by this point half of the main cast had received that fate so I knew they weren't going to stay that way). The designs for Prime Empire itself as a setting looked really cool, and for someone who couldn't design mecha or cyberpunky stuff to save my life, I am envious. I loved the interactions between Milton Dyer and Pixal, and how the former was confused about the fact that Pixal and Zane can actually feel emotions in the same way he can.

Master of the Mountain is undoubtedly my favorite of the post Oni and Dragon Trilogy stuff, which isn't a high bar to be set, but I mostly enjoyed this season. My problems are just that Lloyd's trauma involving Harumi was poorly handled when it'd been well executed previously, there was another twist villian that no one was surprised by(though in his defense he was still somewhat entertaining), and it took way to long for Cole to get his entire backstory revealed or to get a focus season at all.

Otherwise, I think Cole and Vania could be a really cute couple, they do have genuine chemistry that I overlooked at a first glance because I so strongly headcanon Cole to be gay, and while it does feel a little rushed at first, it is cute. We need more interactions between Zane and Kai, that whole thing was extremely entertaining, Zane throwing rocked at Kai's head just to annoy him is absolute gold. Actually, Zane was great in this season in general, but that could very well just be bias as he's my favorite character. I like the Cole backstory we did get, even though it should've been revealed far earlier, and the introduction to the elemental burst was well done.

And this is where the enjoyment ends, because The Island was a shitshow to say the least. Introduces another new convoluted story element even though there are still a bunch of unfinished ones waiting for attention, it was really short and disappointing would be a kind way of putting it. They ruined Ronin, who was previously one of my favorite characters because he used to be interesting, now he's just an incredibly cliché cardboard cutout of a conman type character.

And finally, like I mentioned earlier, I haven't finished seabound yet because they screwed everything over even more than they already had. They completely reversed basically all of Nya's character development and made Ray and Maya generic overbearing parents instead of actually fleshing out their personalities like they should've. It makes absolutely no sense that the first spinjitzu master didn't have control over wind and water(or that lightning wasn't part of that group), or that elemental masters for those elements existed at all because I don't think Wojira would be giving those powers to anyone, but mentioning wind makes me think Morrow is going to apear again at some point, though probably not during this season because from what I've seen it tames place primarily underwater, and ghosts are hurt by water in this universe, unless they perhaps decided to retcon that fact(I'm also worried that they might ruin him like they have with almost everyone at this point).

The only good thing about the season(from what I've seen at least) is that it ties in with the previous season in some way, which hasn't happened in a while, but that isn't really even a redeming quality because I doubt it was used well.

Edit: I still haven't finished seabound, but some replies convinced me to give it a second chance and I can now safely say that my initial opinions were at least mostly false. I'm still not entirely thrilled about the season from what I've seen so far, but it definitely isn't bad, I am actually enjoying myself and I bet I will have had a fun time for the most part when I do reach the finale. Kalmaar is one of the only villians in the post Oni and Dragon bullshit that I like, that isn't a high bar to set, but I do at least find him entertaining(and he has a sexy voice, so extra points for that I guess).

Updated Tl;dr: if you're going to watch past season 10, don't expect a masterpeice, there's a metric shitload of problems, but it is still mostly enjoyable.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #rant #does this count as a shitpost #probably not because im genuinely angry at the writting in this show #seriously #this shit has the plot of a really bad fanfic i would've written in 6th grade #no one cares #i dont know why i wrote this #have a nice day

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oureuphoria · 3 years

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Hiii, this is the old version of this chapter before I revamped the series because a lot of people have asked for it :DDD

———————

Jungkook was confused. He was confused about how you had gotten in, he was confused about why you had gotten and he was confused about who you were with. This was the most confused he had ever been and Jungkook took AP calculus. He ignored you however, opting looking at his phone instead. The date struck a chord in Jungkook’s head, finally remembering that it was your 21st birthday, and he missed it. Jungkook tried to tell himself that the boy was probably just a random friend, someone insignificant because you needed to fill the void he left. It was selfish, but he needed it to get him through the night. Everything was fine and under control. Jungkook wasn’t worried. Until, you went with the mystery boy to the dance floor, then Jungkook was beginning to feel his blood boil.

“Jimin, I can’t dance.” “Nobody can, just follow my lead you’ll be fine.” Jimin spun you around into his arms and you playfully danced together (although it was mostly stiff swaying on your part). Jungkook was livid but before he could spiral further he was broken out of his trance when Mel whispered into his ear. “I told you so.” He turned around and glared at her before claiming he didn’t even care. Jimin noticed his look of disinterest, not sensing the ingenuity behind his facade. “Damn, it’s not working. We need to try harder.” You furrowed your eyebrow at him questioningly at his vague suggestion, you needed to draw the line. “I’m just putting this out there, I am not kissing you that is never happening.” Jimin laughed uncontrollably for a bit and you tried not to take offence, after all, you didn’t like the idea of kissing him either. “You literally remind me of my little sister, I wouldn’t dream of it.” You both stood there close to each other trying to come up with a way to make Jungkook jealous without actually looking like you were trying to come up with a way to make Jungkook jealous. “Oh, I’m a genius, come with me.” He grabbed your wrist and you followed him to what was a secluded area that had dim lighting and a few elevator doors.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“This is it, this is the plan.” You looked at him with astonishment, he could not have been serious. “This is a shitty plan, Jimin.” He ignored your pessimism and gestured to the couples around you, all engaged in borderline public indecency. You got the hint but you weren’t sure that Jungkook would. While you were scowling at the vivid displays of PDA, Jimin slightly peaked from the edge of the wall where he spotted his target. “Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” You quickly turned to him muttering a hushed, “what?!?” “He’s coming, he’s literally coming. Get into position.” “What position? We never discussed any positions.” Jimin quickly trapped you between the wall and his two arms and it was kind of awkward because you were almost the same height. Whatever macho move he was trying to pull had failed embarrassingly. “Okay, now giggle like I said something funny.” All you did is glare at him. “This is ridiculous Jimin I-” “Do you want revenge or not?” You tried not to whine because frankly enough this was not how you wanted to spend your birthday. You sucked it up anyway because Jimin’s scheme had no forseeable end. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” “God forbid you ever become a spy, you suck at this.” You were about to reply before a cough had you both looking to your left at the origin of the sound only to find what seemed to be a mildly distraught Jungkook. “Sorry, do you mind if I borrow her for a second?” Jimin nodded a little too eagerly and if it wasn’t for his distracted mind, Jungkook might’ve picked up on the inconsistency. You weren’t the only bad actor. Jungkook gave you barely any time to think before he dragged you to an even more secluded corner next to the bar.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook knew exactly what you were doing but he realised he needed a cover for randomly pulling you away, he couldn’t just admit he was jealous, that would be extremely hypocritical. “None of your business." “When you’re underage it is.” He knew it was your birthday and that you were of legal age but he couldn’t possibly tell you that, not when you could barely look him in the eyes.. “Nope, it still isn’t.” Jungkook didn’t know what to say but he knew he didn’t want you to leave his side at all. You didn’t like the awkward silence so you made an an attempt to leave, but it was futile. “Now if you don’t mind I have to go find my friend.” Just as you are about to walk away from him, Jungkook rested his hand on your shoulder and you halted, your back facing him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to leave you alone tonight.” You hated the cockiness in his tone, you shouldn’t have given in but you turned around to face him out of spite.

However, the moment your eyes interlocked with his, you were gone and the only thing you could think about was your lips on his. It didn’t take long for you to lose your resolve, in fact his lips were making their way down your neck before you’d even realised you kissed him. You gasped quickly under your breath when he began to suck on the lower part of your neck, he grazed his teeth over the same place afterwards before detaching his lips and smiling deviously at the mark he made, the mark you had no idea existed. “Have fun with friend tonight, Y/N.” And with those final words of false encouragement, he walked away. You stood there where he left you, frozen for a bit while blinking rapidly to try and comprehend what had just occurred right before you. You rushed to find Jimin.

“What happened?” Jimin’s voice was laced with concern at the sight of your teary eyes. “Nothing, Jungkook’s just an asshole.’” “Details stupid.” “I kissed him and he kissed back before running off with some bullshit ‘have fun with your friends’ You mimicked his part in a deeper voice that made Jimin chuckle a little, though he quickly stopped when he saw your neck. “Y/N he gave you a hickey.” You gasped loudly. “Please tell me you’re lying.” You ran your fingers over where he kissed your neck and winced when you felt a bruise. “Oh no. Now I have to wear turtlenecks everyday.” Jimin laughs at your now even sadder state. “Don’t you get it? He clearly did that on purpose to deter me. Sneaky, smooth, handsome bastard. You have got to ask him to teach me his tricks.” You looked at Jimin in disgust and he mocked your face before wrapping his arm around your neck. “Oh our little baby Y/N got her first hickey how amazing.” You elbowed him slightly again and he swiftly pulled your hair out of your ponytail. “You can use your hair to cover it up.” You hated having your hair down but he was right, it conveniently covered the hickey quite well. You went back to sit at the bar with Jimin but he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Someone sat beside you and you had assumed it was Jimin but when you turned around you were met with Jungkook instead and sirens went off in your head like that scene in the movie inside out.

“Did I tell you that you could cover it?” You didn’t give much attention to what Jungkook had said, you forgive too easily and you weren’t going to let that happen again. Jungkook could see that you were uncomfortable and he hated the fact that he couldn’t comfort you or make you feel better. Hell, he was most likely a huge part of the discomfort you had felt lately and he regretted every second of it now. If he couldn’t bare to see you with someone else he wondered how badly he’d hurt you in the past by doing even worse. “Why did you lie to me?” You barely mustered the courage to ask him that question. He hummed in reply to your broken voice, not understanding what you had asked. “Why did you lie and say that you liked me when you didn’t?” Jungkook kept his lead low, trying to formulate an excuse, any excuse and yet nothing but the truth would come to mind. “I didn’t lie.” You scoffed bitterly, clearly not believing his answer. “I hope you don’t go around hurting all the people you like, Jungkook.” He laughed lifelessly, swinging around his drink before chugging it. He decided then and there that he was going to tell you everything, every single worry that stopped him from being with you because the last thing he wanted was to make you feel like you were the problem.

“In high school, I fell in love with a girl named Ruby. She was absolutely beautiful, the kindest soul I had ever met. Senior year, she was killed in a public shooting. I swore to myself that I’d pursue law enforcement after that so I’d never be that helpless again. She’s the reason I became a cop. She’s also the reason I thought I could never fall in love again. Y/N when I first met you I didn’t plan to like you as much as I did, frankly I didn’t plan to like you at all. I’ve been alone ever since I was 16 and after Ruby passed away I never thought I wouldn’t be. It felt unnatural for me to do simple things like take you out on dates or even reply to your messages. I kept forgetting and fucking up the more I’d try and every time I saw you I’d feel more and more guilty because I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”

“All I wanted was you, Jungkook. I didn’t want all your time or attention, I probably would’ve been okay with one phone call a week but you were so inconsistent. You’d talk to me nearly everyday and then not at all. I’d feel like I was getting closer to you and then you would feel like a stranger again. It was exhausting and it hurt and I know it hurt you too. You need to stop denying yourself happiness. What happened in the past will never change, no matter how much you beat yourself up about it. Moving on and being happy with someone else doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her. It just means you’re not forgetting yourself.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m such a horrible person.” You shook your head. “You’re not a horrible person, you just deal with your doubts and problems horribly. From now on, you have to tell me what’s troubling you. Show me the worst of you, and we can deal with it together.” If Jungkook wasn’t sure about liking you before, he was head over heels now. He hugged you, his head sinking into the crook of your neck. “I don’t deserve you.” You laughed a little at what he said. “If you ever ignore me like that again. I’ll never forgive you.” Jungkook chuckled and pulled back from your embrace, looking you dead in the face now.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” You looked at him weirdly but you quickly dissolved into a smile. “So you did remember!” His face softened at your excitement, your sleepy eyes shining through though. “Come on, let me take you home.” You were about to agree but then you remembered your friend and you wondered where he went. “Give me one second.” Jungkook’s eyes visibly hardened. “Are you going to look for Jimin? Seriously Y/N?” You pouted with pleading eyes. “But he’s my best friend, I have to at least say goodbye!” Jungkook looked confused now. “I thought he was your date.” Your face fell when you realised you had just blown your cover. Jimin was right, you would make the worst spy. Jungkook was beginning to realise what had happened now and he seemed even angrier. “Y/N please tell me you didn’t do all of that just to make me jealous.” “Well it worked, didn’t it? Let’s go now.” You were dragging Jungkook away mid-way through your question, you pulled out your phone to call Jimin and he immediately answered. “Y/N did you secure the bag yet?” You obnoxiously laughed at his horrible code name and Jungkook looked at you weirdly. “Where did you put my coat?” There was a pause that was prolonged by Jimin’s “ummmmmmm…” which eventually resulted in him telling you to wait and hanging up.

“I don’t think he’s coming Y/N, here you can have my jacket.” You rolled your eyes, he clearly didn’t like Jimin. “Calm down will you, it’s been like 40 seconds.” Jungkook clicked his tongue in annoyance, eyeing your dress cautiously. “Maybe if you wore something that covered you more you wouldn’t need a coat.” You started to giggle a bit. “It’s a pretty dress don’t you think?” “No it’s hideous. You’ll throw it away once you get home and never wear it again, right?” You shook your head, wanting to tease him. “I like it, I think I’ll dress like this more often.” Jungkook groaned before pulling you towards him by the waist. “I’m going to get you a shirt that says “my boyfriend’s a cop” and you’re going to wear it everywhere.” You would’ve laughed if he hadn’t addressed himself as your boyfriend. You smiled nervously, you wanted to address it but you were scared he’d run away. Your nervous face made Jungkook worry. “You do want me to be your boyfriend, right?” You smiled sheepishly at his question. “Yes please.” You mumbled ever so slightly. He hugged you painfully close before kissing the top of your head. “I missed you, princess.” You didn’t know how to feel about the pet name, was he still mocking you or complimenting you? “I’m not sure if I like that nickname or not.” Jungkook laughed at your hesitancy to accept the nickname.

Jimin ran out with your coat, handing it to you and then looking at you and Jungkook with teasing eyes. You glared at him so he raised his hands defensively and went back into the club, blowing a kiss your way. Jungkook hailed a cab and opened the door for you. He then leaned down to speak to you which you found peculiar because you thought he was going with you. “I have to go back inside, the Chief’s there and I’m really trying to get a promotion.” The desperation in his voice made you belt out a bubbly laugh before you stopped abruptly at his pointed glare. He sent you off with a goodnight and gave the driver a $50 note before letting you go. When you were about to pay the cab driver he laughed and said your boyfriend had already paid and too much at that. You were about to correct him till you remembered, he really was your boyfriend, you went home with a huge, beaming smile.

I’m so sorry this is so late 😭😭😭 @p-jiminaa

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