#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money
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Ooooooghhhhhhhhh stressed 🥺
#dont wanna see family tomorrow and im sleeping saur bad lately i couldnt sleep last night and then had a typical fever dream#which gave me a really cute idea for a movie so im gonna keep it in my pocket#but it was one of those things where its like it says a whole lot about me and my trauma and its stressful#um um um and also im juggling all these different things like im sewing im trying to finally write im trying to draw again#while feeling like im failing at it all and then like i still gotta find fuckinnnnn job i neeeeeed money#this time of year is always really hard for me i hate when its warm again i hate easter and i hate knowing that summer is coming#aaghhhh rn im ticking and stimming really bad and im having trouble breathing hnnghhh#and im very sweaty lol i always get so sweaty when i dont sleep good i dont get it#also i think im just horrible like the one person i wanna talk to probably is getting tired of my constant life crisis and how needy i am#and theyre probably off being better without me there and im just a burden and then my therapist idk about him#i dont feel like hes really giving me anything like when i talk about how stressed and unsafe i am hes like you gotta find a way to cope#and he doesnt really tell me how exactly i should do that like mate thats why im here i need the help you cant just listen to me panic and#go ‘wow you need to fix that’ ughhhh and i think hes mad at me because i dont think he believes me anymore when i say im in an abusive#situation and that ive been controlled my whole life by everyone and i have never felt safe#and its just like ughhh like i feel like no one believes me anymore and theyre all fed up with my bullshit incompetence and constant#bellyaching and im a horrible friend and a liar and probably just being dramatic as fuck making myself believe im being abused when in#reality im the abuser the ungrateful brat who treats his family like shit and cant trust them even though they seem so perfect to everyone#and im so stupid and toxic for trying to run away and for being scared to death here#thats how its feeling anyway idk everyone is just. weird and im losing my grip on reality and cant tell whats real anymore
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Im so happy your requests are open. Could i request azriel x reader where they're already in a relationship and reader overhears azriel mention hed like to add a 3rd person in the bedroom. Reader just shuts down and cant believe hed even think of such a thing. Shes so hurt and distant even his touch makes her wanna vomit. Maybe she breaks up with up with him while hes thinking of marrying her. And then he finds out why shes so distant and it was just a huuge huuuge misunderstanding (idk maybe she walked in at the wrong time and overheard cassian talkin about how hes gonna get azriel in a 3 way for azriels bachelor party once he asks reader to marry him.) And now hes gotta win the girl back and grovel on behalf of his stupid brother lol. angst with a happy ending.
I just want to say just how much I appreciate all of the requests with the amazing ideas that I get. I enjoy writing each one so very much!
Misunderstandings
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You padded silently through the river house in search of your boyfriend, being sure to use every lesson of stealth that Azriel had taught you to surprise him. It had been three days since you had seen him due to Rhysand sending you out to speak with other courts. You had been told that he was here with Cassian but the bottom floor was empty so you continued on. A smile formed on your face as it usually did when you thought of him and all of the amazing years that you had been together.
It was as perfect as you thought that a relationship could be and you were happier than you ever were in your entire existence. He was the only person that you could ever imagine spending the rest of your life with. There was no way that any other male could compare to him and how well that he treated you because not a day went by that he never failed in making you feel like a queen.
After listening through every closed door, you still came up empty handed until you were outside of Cassian’s door. His laugh could be heard, clear delight and mischief in it. Even though it was unlike you, you lingered outside of the door to listen in on the conversation that was apparently amusing.
“A threesome,” Azriel stated.
“It will be the best time of your life,” Cassian laughed. “Y/N and another girl? Can’t tell me it doesn’t sound like a blessing from the Mother.”
“I think bringing another female into our bed is exactly-”
You darted from the home as your heart dropped at what you heard. The thought of sharing your boyfriend with anyone had your stomach turning as the betrayal hit you in full force. Returning to the home that you shared with Azriel only made you feel worse and you found yourself in front of the toilet, releasing everything that was in your stomach.
Once you could muster up just enough strength, you made your way to your bed on shaky legs. Mental images of the love of your life so much as touching another female had you feeling sick again and the tears came in full force. You couldn’t stand the thought that he was still there more than likely discussing which female he should pick to present to you.
It made you feel like you were nothing and your entire relationship had been a lie. Had he had these thoughts often? Did he lust after other females and you never noticed? Had you failed to please him in bed? Had everything been for nothing? The more that you thought, the more that you cried until you were finally taken by sleep.
“Absolutely not.”
Azriel stared at Cassian, his arms crossed and jaw clenched. The last thing that he would ever want was someone else in his bed. The thought of touching another female much less anyone else touching you had his anger spiking along with his stomach twisting.
“You really don’t want to accept my bachelor party gift?” Cassian asked, a hand on his heart as if he was offended.
“How would you feel if it was Nesta?”
“Sounds fun.”
He could only glare at his brother, unable to comprehend how the male could stand such a thing. Azriel’s jealous territorial streak shot through him that was followed by his own pain of seeing you broken hearted for simply suggesting such a thing. Even if it was something that he truly did want, he knew you wouldn’t want another female touching him and rightfully so.
“I haven’t even asked her to marry me yet,” Azriel scoffed. “She might not even say yes.”
“Are you kidding me!?” Cassian exclaimed, sitting up in his seat in disbelief. “She’s crazy about you just as much as you are with her! You’ve had that ring for weeks now. What’s up with that?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered but he knew full well that it was his own insecurities. “I need to get home. She should be home by now and it’s already getting late.”
“Yea, yea.” His brother waved a hand in dismissal as Azriel stood. “Even though I think you should stay and have more wine with me. It’s one of Rhys’s good bottles.”
“Of course it is.” Azriel rolled his eyes, making his way to the door before glancing at Cassian again. “You better not ever mention this conversation. To me or anyone else.”
With that, he left and rushed home. If there was nothing else that he loved, it was falling asleep beside you at night. The way that you always moved as close as you could get made it all the more special. He had finally gotten the one thing that he had always wanted most in life and he knew that he was blessed and he would never do anything to jeopardize it.
When he arrived home, there wasn’t a light on in the entire house which only made him frown. You usually waited for him to get home no matter how late it was and the fact that the sun had just gone down had him worried. The lightest scent of your tears hit him just as he made it to the bedroom floor, causing his stomach to drop.
He found you already in a deep sleep and his frown deepened on his face as his eyebrows furrowed when he noticed that your eyes were indeed swollen from crying. As he silently changed his clothes, his shadows became as restless as his thoughts, wondering what could have caused you such distress.
He eased as gently as he could into the bed so that he didn’t wake you but when he went to pull you into him, you flinched and jerked upright. Even in the darkness, he could see your hateful glare before you moved as far away from him as you could get. He knew then that something was seriously wrong.
“What’s wrong, love?” he asked gently, a hint of panic starting to rise in him.
You didn’t respond so he tried touching your arm and you simply jerked it out of his grasp. His heart dropped into his stomach and panic continued to rise to the point that he wanted to drop to his knees and beg you if it was needed to get answers. Instead of doing so, he let you sleep in hopes that you had simply had pent up frustrations from your mission that you weren’t ready to talk about.
You awoke early the next morning since you had gone to bed so early and was relieved that Azriel was already gone. His side of the bed was cold as it was most days of the week. Your relief soon faded when your thoughts nagged at you, making you wonder if he was out scouting the city or maybe another court for another female.
All of the trust that you had in him was completely shattered as you wondered if he had been cheating on all of the late nights that he alleged that he was on missions for Rhys. If he had a secret mistress, you thought that may be an option for him if the other female could keep it a secret. Unable to handle the disgust rolling through like a storm, you packed what you could into a bag and left the one place that had been your safe haven.
It wasn’t hard to find an empty apartment in the city and even though it was unfurnished, you didn’t care. It would be just as easy to have a mattress placed in a bedroom. Paired with enough food to get you by, it would be enough. Your only intention was to hide away from the people that you had seen as your family. It wasn’t just the betrayal of your boyfriend but also with Cassian who saw you as a brother. He was wholeheartedly encouraging Azriel to basically cheat on you. You had thought that Azriel felt the same way as you did and wouldn’t want anyone else touching you but it appeared as if you were wrong.
After two weeks of being alone in your bare apartment, the depression had completely taken over. You missed him more than you ever thought that you would but your thoughts were always on repeat of mental images of him putting his hands on another female how he had always done you now that you were no longer his problem to deal with.
It was late in the night and since you hardly slept anymore, you instantly noticed the piece of paper and pen that landed on the floor beside your poor excuse of a bed. You blew out a sigh of relief when you instantly noticed that it was Rhysand’s handwriting but that feeling quickly disappeared as you read the message.
“You are needed at the river house tomorrow afternoon to discuss an issue that we are having with the court.”
Having to leave the safety of your apartment would mean that you would risk seeing Azriel. What was more, going to a meeting with the Inner Circle meant that you would have to see your boyfriend. Or maybe your ex boyfriend now. It was something that you weren’t ready to face. Not ready to face the possibility that there may be a new female by his side.
Sleep never did find you that night, your anxiety too high to do anything but sob as your body shook uncontrollably while your heart pounded wildly in your chest.
Azriel came home that night to find you gone, your scent barely noticeable. It was enough to tell him that you had been gone for a while. Hoping to find some form of answers, he took two steps at the time to the bedroom only to find it vacant. Your drawers to your armoire were open and empty, the sight paired with how you had acted the night before sending his heart racing in true and utter panic.
He instantly took to the skies, hoping to find you anywhere. Unfortunately, it was later in the night so there weren’t many people that he could inquire to about your whereabouts. He came up empty handed so before the sun could fully rise in the sky, he was at the river house in hopes that you were there. He felt as if someone would have told you if you were but there was also the chance that Rhysand could find you.
“Please tell me you have seen her,” he begged as soon as his sleepy eyed brother opened the door.
“Who?” Rhys asked, his voice still full of sleep as he rubbed his eyes.
“Y/N!” he snapped. “I haven’t seen her since last night!”
That was enough to get the High Lord’s attention and bring him fully to the present. There was a gentle caress on his mental shield so he dropped the barrier to let the male see his memories. Rhys flinched as he pulled away but there was sympathy that he didn’t want on his friend’s face.
“Don’t panic,” the High Lord ordered in a gentle tone. “We will find her.”
“How are we going to find her when we don’t know anything!?” Azriel snapped, worry, panic, and pain lacing into every word.
“It didn’t appear as if there was a struggle and there were no unusual scents to indicate that she may have been abducted,” Rhysand mused. “Even if it was the case, she is trained well enough to handle whoever could have managed to come in.”
“But-”
“Has there been any disagreements as of late?”
“No-”
“Has she been expressing any discomfort with either of you being gone too long on missions?”
“No!” he exclaimed, frustrated because he had already come up empty handed on those thoughts as well. “Everything has been as perfect and happy as it could be!”
“We will find her,” his brother repeated gently.
Azriel’s chest began to heave at all of the horribly possible scenarios that could have happened to you. The thought of you being taken and injured hurt but what hurt him the most was the nagging suspicion that you had left him. Not only had you left him but done so when he wasn’t present and hadn’t communicated anything which was unlike you. Communication was a strong principle of a relationship for you so he must have done something irreparably wrong for you to leave him without a trace.
Unable to sit idly by and wait for Rhysand to search for you, he returned to the city. Despite the fact that he had searched all day and asked everyone he came across, it was as futile as the night before on any information about you. The pain felt as if it was eating him from the inside out while suffocating him in the process.
There were so many things that made him feel unworthy of anything but you had come along and changed that. There had been so many things that had hurt him in his life. If he lost you, it would be the one pain that he wouldn’t be capable of enduring.
A week passed and each day was a repeat of the one before. He was sure that the citizens of Velaris were sick of him asking about you, especially when he was doing his best to be discreet. At the end of each day, he found himself curled up in the bed that he used to share with you to release the tears that he did his best to keep locked away until he was alone. His appetite had completely disappeared and he was unable to even force himself to eat.
By the end of the second week, Rhysand had formed a plan. He watched as the High Lord wrote a note to you requesting your presence. The letter disappeared and he was reassured that if nothing else, you would come when the court needed you. His shadows had been restless the entirety of the two weeks of you being gone and tonight was no different. He was just as restless as they were with anticipated hope.
The entire day was spent pacing in different rooms to pass the time while thinking of any and every speech for whatever he had unknowingly done wrong. Feyre had done her best to calm and reassure him but nothing would soothe him until he saw you. It was what he had thought until you strode through the door of the river house.
Your scent hit him so hard that it made him stumble when he went to take a step towards you. He froze on his second step when you didn’t look at him but instead opted to watch your High Lord with anger in your eyes. It was at that time that he took a moment to do a full assessment of you only to find that you appeared to be in the same emotional state that he was in. You had lost weight and the dark circles were a harsh contrast to your unusually pale skin.
“I’m here,” you snapped, causing Rhysand to frown. “I’ve got things to be doing.”
“Care to fill us in on what ‘things’ you are busy with?” the High Lord countered.
“It’s not your business what I do with my personal time.”
“The personal time that a member of my court has used to stay hidden for two weeks.”
“I may be a part of your court, Rhysand but I do not have to report all of my movements.”
“No,” Rhys agreed. “But as a member of my Inner Circle, I would like the courtesy of knowing that you are safe when you decide to disappear without a trace. Maybe I should make you a spy as well since you do such a good job of it.”
“I don’t have time for this.” You bared your teeth at the High Lord who only smiled in return, the action causing you to huff. “Call me if there is actual business.”
“Y/N,” Azriel started when you glared at him once you began to make your way to the door.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you growled.
The four words had him recoiling his hand from where he tried to stop you. There was a hatefulness in your eyes that had never been laid upon him before and he could feel the burning beginning in his eyes. He loved you more than words could ever explain but yet here you were, staring at him with so much disgust. It made him feel lower than he had ever felt in his life. Lower than how he had felt as a child locked in a lightless cell.
“Please, please tell me what’s wrong,” he begged, blocking out everyone else in the room around them. “Please.”
“I really can’t believe you Azriel.” Tears filled your eyes and the pain in them had his knees buckling. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
“Y/N, please-”
He tried once again to grasp your arm to stop you but your face paled as if the simple thought of him touching you made you sick. Every insecurity that he ever had began to resurface, every insecurity that had been healed simply because of your support. His worst fear had been confirmed but he refused to give up until he knew what had gone so horribly wrong.
“Please tell me what I did,” he begged again once the both of you were outside. “How can I make it right?”
“You can make it right by going back to whatever bitch you wanted.” You swirled on him so quickly that he hardly had time to register that you did so, leaving nothing a handful of inches between the two of you. “I wasn’t enough so go find better!”
“Y/N, what are you talking about?” he asked in astonishment. “You are all that I’ve ever wanted. You are everything that I have been searching for my entire life.”
“I’m all you want but yet you have no problem with wanting a threesome?” His heart dropped as he realized what had happened. “Did you really think I would go along with that? Or were you planning it with someone else?”
“I wasn’t-”
Azriel took a deep breath and dropped down onto one knee while pulling the small box out of his pocket. He had kept it with him every single day and he was thankful that he did even if he was silently cursing his brother for ruining the proposal. Before opening it, he wrapped his arms around your middle and pulled you into him before burying his face into your stomach.
“Cassian,” he mumbled with a defeated sigh. “Is a fucking idiot.”
“Oh, I know all about him encouraging such an idiotic thing!” you exclaimed while halfheartedly trying to wiggle free from him.
“He was trying to talk me into accepting a gift from him for..”
“For what?”
He took a deep breath, savoring the contact, before he pulled away and looked up to you. A small gasp escaped your lips when he opened the box that held the blue sapphire engagement ring.
“For a bachelor party if you said yes when I proposed.”
Hope was the only thing that he could cling to when tears formed in your eyes as they darted between him and the ring. He took note that your body began to shake just as the smallest smile formed on your face.
“You- You were..”
“This isn’t exactly the way that I had planned it out,” he chuckled, feeling relieved to see some light back in your eyes. “My life has been nothing but darkness until you came into it and lit it up as if you were the brightest sun that could ever exist. A sun that made all of the dark disappear and made me feel truly seen for the first time in my life. I have never known true love and happiness until I was able to call you mine and it would be the greatest honor that I could ever receive to be able to call you my wife.”
Tears were falling freely down your face but your eyes never left his. The love and adoration had returned and it took everything in him to stay on one knee until he received a reply of some sort.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” you exclaimed.
He was barely able to stand in time to catch you before you launched yourself onto him, throwing your arms around his neck and squeezing tightly. It bordered on pain but he didn’t dare complain now that you were back in his arms.
“Thank the Mother.”
You giggled at his words and then gave him the brightest smile when he slid the ring on your finger. He crashed his lips to yours, appreciating every single thing about you in a way that he hadn’t before. When he pulled away, there was a mischievous grin adorning your face.
“I think me and Cassian need to have a nice long chat.”
He laughed, a genuine true laugh, before following you inside and enjoying the scolding that his brother earned.
@amara-moonlight @allygrace74 @sidthedollface2 @historygeekqueen @hnyclover @kalulakunundrum @historygeekqueen @bubybubsters @thisblogisaboutabook @mybestfriendmademe @caroline-books @justvibbinghere @wisdomofthebrain
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"Hey, Yoichi."
"Yeah?"
Isagi watches you grin. He can already piece the puzzles. Something is going to go very, very wrong.
"Come sleep on my lap."
He was right.
With a jolt, the poor boy grows frazzled. Wide-eyed and mouth agape. His cheeks redden like the blush of dawn you worry lest he overheat and plop down on the warm grasses.
Years of acquaintance with his sweetheart—his everything. Isagi corrects himself—don't seem to be enough to prepare him for this. For you. Call the boy the master of being adaptable, but there's something about you that never fails to surprise him.
"Aw! Come on~"
Pat pat.
You tap your upper thigh. No skin is exposed, no. But with you sitting on your knees, the light fabric of your midi skirt did nothing to shield the outline of your-
"Absolutely not!" he splutters, hiding the blooming blush with the back of his hand. The spring wind blows a gust of dandelions. Then he remembers that you were enjoying a nice picnic and each other's silence, just now. Him watching people—and stealing glances at you. A little—while you munch on a butter sandwich. Just now.
"Why not?" the sandwich is now long gone in your digestive system. And of course, you'll find something out of pocket when you have nothing in your hands.
"I saw some couples doing it on social media, isn't it cute?"
"I mean," he coughs, "it's really sudden, but.. if you're okay with it..?"
"Yes yes!" your hands clap, "Besides, you've been working so hard. I gotta spoil you, my little precious!"
Just like that, his face reddened again. Eyes flitting from your face, then to your lap. Then like a boy caught stealing cookies, they drift hastily to a space behind you. It's difficult to imagine. This is the same boy who throws violent insults on the football pitch like Santa giving presents on Christmas. Get you a man who can do both, they say.
"Well.." Isagi hesitates, but scoots closer all the same.
Pspspspspsps!
"Here! Here!" You pat your thighs again, perhaps a little bit too eagerly. With the spring tide clouds rolling by, Isagi finally rests his head on your lap. His hair slightly tickling you through the fabric of your skirt.
He was tense, yes, the sweet boy. But you slowly thread your finger through his dark locks, caressing the crown of his head. Who was he to resist against your touch? Isagi soon melts in your hold and relaxes his head in your cradle.
You close your eyes, content, and once again you both enjoy each other's silence. Another gust of dandelion seeds flew by. Your other hand reaches for his as you hum a small tune. Your thumb rubbing circles in the back of his hand.
"(Name), you're very pretty."
And then Isagi took his turn to surprise you, this time.
Looking down, gone was the bashful boy with a skittish gait. His eyes are of a deep shade of blue like the prettiest sapphire you could ever find. And he dons the expression of a boy who might be stricken by a deadly case of young lovesickness.
Maybe he is. Because he reaches for your cheek as you are both lost in each other's eyes. And maybe you too. Because you smile at the sweet words and let him guide your face towards his, enough for your lips to...
"Mwah!"
-Reach his nose!
Isagi blinks. He received a perfect little Eskimo kiss!
"You're such a tease!" his laugh melds with yours, still in the comfort of your hold. Then you make another of that radiant grin. The one that Isagi really likes.
"Only to you," you said. And the lovesick boy can only wonder how the universe has given someone as perfect as you for him.
Turns out he was wrong, after all. With you, things will always go very, very right.
I feel rusty it's been a while since I wrote something 😞 also first bllk fic in this blog :') things are getting out of hand and now im attached to these football nerds.
and isagi he is uhh canonically a thigh type of guy so...
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do you think the boys would be into period sex? billy i can see being kinda weirded out at first but easily swayed by all the blood. stu… well, you know hes down, but they’d both have to hide just how much theyre into it
(also pardon me if you’ve talked about this before n im misremembering!!)
18+ Period sex/oral, dubcon toeing the line of noncon, anal sex, toxic relationship
Stu x Billy and Stu x Billy x F!reader.
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The desk was smacking against the wall almost violently, and Stu felt an odd twisted sense of glee that his mother would probably notice the damage. The wood was warm beneath him as Billy fucked him over it, papers and pens still clattering to the floor with every thrust. Stu had lost the chase but he couldn’t really find it in himself to be disappointed about it.
“Caught you fair and square,” Billy panted. He kept a hand firmly planted on Stu’s back, nails digging into his skin and keeping him pinned down against the desk. “Thought you knew how to survive a horror movie?”
Stu clenched his teeth biting back the whimpers that threatened to escape his throat. It was too quick, too much, with not even close to enough prep, but Billy’s needling about him failing to escape was hurting him more.
“Even bunny lasted longer than you,” Billy’s breath was heavy, his voice strained. “But gotta admit I do like your ass better.”
Stu choked down a whine as Billy’s hips pressed hard against his ass, cock pressing deep, too deep, his nails scratching in to the varnish of the desk.
“Shame I dropped the knife, really want to mark you up right now. Did I tell you I fucked her with it?” Billy leans down, his chest flush against Stu’s back as he whispers and Stu feels his balls tighten and throb at the memory. “came around that fucking knife like she’d never had anything better.”
“Fuck Bill,” He knew, of course he did. Billy had recounted the story to him numerous times, the first time he’d heard it Billy had his cock buried so far down his throat he’d nearly blacked out.
“So quiet baby, you not enjoying yourself?” Billy pulls back and thrusts forward hard. “rather be on your knees? Want me to make you choke on it instead?”
“You talk too much,” Stu groaned, his breath was quickening just at the thought of it. “Monologuing while getting fucked is kind of a turn off you know?”
Billy didn’t seem to appreciate that, a series of abrupt thrusts forcing a cry from his throat.
“Aw there we go. You moan so pretty for me,” Billy’s hand smacking hard across his ass at his displeased sound. “You lost the game. If this had been real you’d been gutted and bleeding out right now.”
The moan Stu let out was loud, his momentary annoyance lost at the thought of it. Caught, covered in blood, bleeding out while Billy fucked him, his cock throbbing painfully with the image.
“You cheated.” The lack of control is starting to niggle at him, as is Billy’s smugness at catching him. Stu slips one hand between his legs, half expecting Billy to tell him to stop, the relief when he doesn’t sending shivers down his spine. Forehead dropping to rest against the desk as he stroked his hand up and down his cock, closing his eyes as he jerked himself in time with Billy’s thrusts.
“Cheated? You ran upstairs dumbass,” Billy’s thrusts turning slow and so deep that Stu felt like he could feel it in his stomach. “Stupid mistake, I’m embarrassed for you.”
“Totally my plan,” Stu pants, nails scratching deeper into the varnished desk as he tries to control his breathing, the slow deep roll of Billy’s hips starting to cross the line into genuinely uncomfortable. “Had to get you active. You've been moping after bunny all week. It’s boring.” There's a touch of genuine bitterness to his words that he's a little annoyed with himself he couldn't hide.
“You don’t miss her too?” Billy asks and Stu shakes his head automatically before the question truly registers. “Really? You don’t miss our pretty pliant little bunny? The way she squirms and whimpers?”
“Fuck-, shut up,” Stu’s cock jumps and twitches hard at Billy’s words. “Miss that pussy maybe.” He forces himself to answer, although he doesn’t sound as convincing as he’d like. Because he does. He does fucking miss you and he hates it. Even breaking in to your house and railing Billy in your bed had done nothing but make him miss you more. He wants to bend you over his knee and spank you for every day you’ve been gone, force you down onto his bed and eat you out until you scream for him. His spiraling thoughts about everything he wants to punish you with pushing him close to the edge too fast and too hard, his hand tightening around his cock, squeezing himself tightly and forcing himself to calm down.
“You sound a little bitter,” Billy sighs, words breathless and almost slurring together in that way that Stu knows means he’s getting close. “You jealo-,”
“I’m not jealous.” He answers too quick, the words tumbling out of his mouth before Billy’s finished speaking. He's not jealous. He’s just a little annoyed at the lack of attention he’s being getting, that’s all.
Billy slows even more, his pace faltering and shallow. That annoys him even further because he doesn't want Billy to notice how he’s actually feeling.
“Tired out already? Need me to take over?” He tries to fuck back against him but Billy grips his hips and pulls slightly away.
“You don’t need to be jealous,” Billy drags his fingertips down Stu’s spine. “you're mine Stu,” digging his nail into his skin to scratch along the faint white B that lived at the bottom of his spine. “You’re marked as mine.”
Stu wants to respond, wants to snap back but all that leaves his throat is a desperate moan. It’s embarrassing how quickly that word can unravel him, and he’s pretty sure Billy knows it too. As Billy’s hips start to move again Stu’s mind goes blissfully blank, the pleasure finally reaching snapping point and his back arching as he came, hand tight around his cock and shooting white ropes across the carpeted floor.
“Fuck me.” He mumbles, he feels shaky, a slight tremble in his legs that has him glad Billy hasn’t pulled away from him. “Jesus Bill.”
“All right?” Billy murmured, in that soft oh so quiet tone that Stu loathed and loved in equal measure, the tone that seemed to be reserved for him and bunny alone.
Shut up. Shut up is what he wants to say but he just grunts, burying his head in his hands. He shifted his hips and winced, somewhere during his mind blinding orgasm Billy must have cum too, he feels wet and sticky, even though Billy is still buried deep.
Billy murmurs something softly again as he pulls his cock out slowly, although he doesn’t move away completely, keeping his pelvis flush against Stu’s ass as his thumbs stroke idly across his hips.
“Still can’t believe you ran upstairs.”
Stu shrugged, not bothering to try and stand up from his bent position, lifting his head to rest on his palm with a sigh. “Panicked.”
“Panicked?” Billy sounds incredulous, he moves away and Stu bites down the urge to drag him back, instead turning his head to watch as Billy leans back against the desk, close but not quite touching him.
“Plead the fifth,” Stu mutters. He doesn’t want to talk anymore and Billy doesn’t push it. He stands slowly, stretching his arms high above his head with a groan. He can feel Billy’s gaze on him and he’d be lying of he said he didn’t flex, just a little. Tilting his head and cracking his neck, definitely not showing off the smooth column of his throat as he does so and defiantly not enjoying the definite hitch in Billy’s breathing as he watches. The one place Billy so desperately wanted to mark up and the one place he absolutely couldn’t. Neck and collarbones. A weakness in Billy that he took great joy in teasing and tempting him with.
“Wanna shower with me?”
Stu doesn’t answer, the sudden invading thought of what would his mother think if she came home and found the two of them naked in her office making him pause, his gaze lingering on the mess he’d left on the carpet. Billy would never let that happen, but the chaos that would ensue would be fascinating to witness.
“Stu?”
“Yeah, sure,” He kills that thought before he feels too tempted to try and let it happen, turning his head so he can look at the mask lying in the corner of the room where it had been haphazardly thrown. “And next time you’re leaving it on.”
The sounds of voices from your kitchen takes you a little by surprise. You recognize Stu’s voice immediately, dread pooling low in your gut. You weren’t supposed to see him or Billy until later that evening, and You had long ago made him promise not to turn up unannounced. You really should have known better than to trust he’d stick to that promise.
You take a deep breath as you enter your kitchen, stopping as you see Stu chatting animatedly with your dad. your gaze lingers warily on the open can of Jolt sat next to him, seems like the lazy afternoon you were hoping for was not going to happen.
Your dad looks disinterested and is focused on the paperwork in his hands with a barely concealed look of annoyance that Stu seems oblivious to. perched on the edge of the kitchen stool with one knee bouncing quickly up and down, he seems filled with more hyper energy than usual, making you wonder just how many of those drinks he’d actually had.
You both want and don’t want to interrupt the conversation, in all honesty you want to cancel your plans with Stu and Billy and just go to bed, even though it had been a week since you’d seen either of them, and you know full well that they are going to be sulky about the fact that you had to work on your first morning back. You shift awkwardly, gripping your keys a little harder as another cramp tugs and pulls low in your abdomen. Your period had taken you by surprise this morning during your shift, having no choice but to use one of the cheap uncomfortable pads from the women’s restroom. You take a deep breath, entering the kitchen and your heart skipping a beat in mild alarm as Stu instantly swivels in his seat to look at you.
“You kept in touch?” Your dad asks, he hasn’t acknowledged your hello and you try to not let that sting, the conversation you’re interrupting apparently one about your recent trip. “She was only gone a week.”
“I had one phone call.” Stu’s gaze is fixated on you, and you don’t miss the blatant disappointed emphasis he puts on one.
“Oh good.” Your dad is obviously disinterested in the whole situation, already focusing back on the papers and files in front of him.
“Yeah she rang pretty late, but woo boy was she-,”
“Sorry I’m late, we should get going right? The others will be waiting.” Embarrassment flares, your face heating to an unbearable degree as it dawns on you what Stu is talking about. The need to get him out of your house overriding your desire to make yourself more comfortable first.
“Aw but I was just telling your dad what-,”
“He’s busy, and we'll be late.” You tug at his arm and he immediately tries to intertwine your fingers with his. You pull away quickly, giving him a small shake of your head as you glance back at your Dad, who thankfully is still riveted to the paperwork in front of him. “I’ll be back late ok?”
Your dad gives you a distracted wave goodbye and thankfully Stu follows obediently behind you.
“You dick.” You smack his chest with the back of your hand as you pull the front door closed.
“What?” He rubs his chest before his hands are reaching out for you again, skimming down your sides to hook into the waistband of your jeans. “Just wanted your dad to know how sweet it was.”
“Can you stop with the touching?” You bat at his hands again, sighing when he ignores your request.
“Can’t control my hands,” He tugs hard on your belt loop, pulling you back into his chest and leaning down to nuzzle into your neck. “You’re looking foxy as hell right now.”
It takes an immense amount of willpower to pull away from him, but the first lick of his tongue across your skin does make you move. “We’re outside,” You dodge his attempt to touch you again. “And what was sweet?”
“You being away but still thinking about me. How you missed me. And my di-,”
“You better not have said that to my Dad!” You glare at him and he laughs.
“C’mon it was hot, hearing you get off like that. I could hear how we-,” He trails off with a grin as you hiss at him to shut up, giving him the finger over your shoulder as you start to walk down the road. “Fine fine.”
His arm snakes around your waist, hand dipping into the back pocket of your jeans and giving you a quick squeeze. You don’t immediately pull away this time. It’s risky but it does feel good to have him touching you, to have him so obviously wanting you. “Glad youre back though bunny, Bill been driving me crazy with his moody ass.”
“He’s always moody,” You tease but Stu just shrugs, and you smile drops slightly. “Did something happen?”
“Yeah, you left us.”
You blink, a little take a back. “I didn't leave you, I went on holiday.”
“Left, holiday, Whatever,” He waves his free hand in the air, dismissing your words. “You left, he crashed. He's gone all tortured artist, sulky, wont play with me, reading shit about men turning into bugs.”
“I- what?” You frown. “Bugs?”
“I mean it's hot, it suits him but fuck it’s boring.”
You don't know what to say, concerned and confused in equal measure, but Stu doesn't seem to care .
“So you gonna tell me about this Trevor?”
You frown up at him, the angle a little awkward with him so close, a little thrown off by his abrupt subject change. “What about him?”
“Curious who my babygirl hangs out with.” There’s a hint in his voice, something that sounds a little annoyed, even jealous as he speaks. “Your dad said you spent a lot of time with him.”
“You’re not serious?” It hits you the wrong way, and adds fuel to something you’d been noticing for a while, Stu’s seemingly growing possessiveness. Possessiveness you didn’t think he deserved to voice considering he was the one with the girlfriend. Hypocrite you think but don’t say it out loud. He looks disappointed when you step away from his side, the groping of your ass getting a little too over the top for walking in public. “Werent you just worried about Billy?”
“Bun bun,” He pokes your cheek, making you flinch. “You’re back, he’ll get over it, so tell me all the gory details.” His teasing tone feels a little flat, the shortened version of your nickname also only making an appearance when he was upset with you but trying to be subtle about it.
“Don’t do that Stu,” You swat his hand away as you fight to keep your tone calm but it doesn’t quite work, frustration lacing into your words. “There’s no details to share. He’s practically family.”
"Not actually family though."
You sigh, wincing as another cramp stabs at your insides; you thought they had finally eased. “No, not actually.”
“So? What did you to get up to?”
"Are you really being serious right now? He's my Uncle’s friend.” He nods but doesn’t comment, his raised eyebrows letting you know he’s expecting more. “He gave me a ride a couple of times, he came to family dinner. Family dinner. Because he is family.”
"I bet he wanted to give you a ride alright," Stu waggles his eyebrows. It feels wrong. His attempt at teasing you not matching the glint in his eye. It feels vaguely threatening.
“For fucks sake," You fight to keep the annoyed tone out of your voice. You don’t want to deal with this. You want a hot shower aand to curl up under a ton of blankets. “If I want to hang out with someone then I will thank you very much.”
“Two dicks not enough for you anymore?”
"Wow, ok,” His words hurt, you can’t tell if it’s an ill judged attempt to tease you or if he’s actually accusing you of something. “Fuck you too. You’re not seriously jealous?" The accusation escapes you before you have time to think it through. “You really want me to spell it out for you again? He’s family.” You finally snap, cutting off whatever he’d been about to say. He shuts his mouth with a look of surprise at your outburst.
“Jeez relax, overreaction much? I’m only teasing,” His eyebrows raise and you can tell he’s trying not to roll his eyes. “Sorry for taking an interest.”
“Interest? You were just accusing me of-,”
“I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” Stu shoves his hands in his pockets, his eyes wide. “I was only asking what you got up too.”
“You-, whatever,” You wave your hand dismissively, trying not to wince as another cramp makes your insides twist painfully. “I had a good time, I’m glad to be home, let’s just drop it ok?”
It lapses into silence again, and you try not to make eye contact with him but you can feel him watching you intently, his surprised look replaced by that carefully blank mask that Billy is so good at. You hate it on both of them.
“You ok bunny?” He pokes at your cheek, grinning wide when you swat him away. The sudden flip in his attitude throwing you for a second. “You seem a little grumpy.”
“Fu-,” You click your tongue. “I’m fine. Can we just go? I want to see Billy.”
Stu stares at you for a beat longer before he shrugs. “Sure,” he bows low, arm sweeping out in front of him as he holds that infuriating grin. “Lead the way.”
“You’re early.” Billy rubs a hand over his face as he sits up from his place on the bed, rubbing his palm across his face as he scoots to the edge of the bed. He looks exhausted and his slow clumsy movements hit you with a sudden rush of affection. You smile softly at him as you come to stand between his knees. Billy glances up at you with slight tilt of his head, he doesn’t look particularly happy to see you and a little knot of guilt starts to form in the pit of your stomach.
“I wanted to see you,” You falter slightly when he doesn’t respond. “How’s the bug man?”
“What?” The look of confusion that flits across Billy’s face has you biting back a laugh, his eyes narrowing at you before he glances over to Stu. “What have you been telling her?”
“Nothing man, not a thing, just you know, about the whole Eric Draven vibe you’ve had going on.”
Billy tenses.
“I missed you.” You cup his face, drawing his attention back to you and interrupting their bickering before it can escalate. You did miss him but his reserved welcome has thrown you off a little. You lean down and kiss him on the cheek, but it doesn’t get the reaction you were hoping for, moving to press a tentative kiss to his mouth instead. “I missed you a lot last week.”
It seems to work, his hands finally reaching up to rest on your waist with a soft sigh.
“I missed you too,” Billy murmurs. His tongue darts across your bottom lip before dipping slightly into your mouth. Its an odd kiss, feels more like he’s tasting you than kissing you, but you let him do what he wants. Humming contently as he flicks across your bottom teeth, he tastes like beer with a hint of cigarette smoke. You grimace slightly but bite down the urge to tell him off fro obviously smoking when he'd promised you he wouldn’t anymore.
"I missed you so damn much," He repeats, the kiss switching into something a little rougher as he nips at you, his hands tugging at the hem of your t-shirt, a move you try to stop before it goes too far. You break the kiss, gently pushing against his arms, straightening up and moving slightly out of his hold. The argument with Stu has left you feeling a little bitter, has soured your mood and reunion with them more than you thought it had. Billy picks up on your unease, he always does, and his face shutters, going blank as he shifts his weight, giving you no choice but to take a step back from him.
“I didn’t get that kind of welcome,” Stu moves up behind you and loops his arms round your waist, hooking his chin over your shoulder and one hand dipping under your t-shirt to rest over your ribs. “Where’s my kiss?”
“Don’t,” You grip his wrist, stopping him from touching you any further. The cramps were getting worse; you didn’t want things to escalate, you just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Sure looked like it. You’re so snappy today,” Stu huffs into the side of your neck, annoyed at your reluctance, even Billy looks a little offended. “Is it that time of the month?”
“You’re just annoying.”
“See, snappy.”
Billy’s gaze briefly flickers over you, you know him well enough to know that he’s perceived your reluctance to go further than kissing him as a rejection, his gaze a little cold before he focuses on Stu. “What did you do?”
“Hey, I did nothing. Our moody girl here jumped down my throat,” Stu rest his chin on your shoulder, one hand trying to dip inside your panties and you dig your nails into his wrist in an effort to stop him. “I was only asking her about her holiday.”
“You were not-,” Your look at Billy makes you pause and the guilt flares in your chest, he looks hurt and tired and you just want to start this whole day over. “Ok fine I’m sorry for jumping down your throat. Can we drop it now?” You wince as another cramp hits you, body curling back against Stu like you could move away from it. “And you know what? Yes. I am on my period and it fucking hurts ok?”
It’s silent for a few seconds, for some reason expecting them to withdraw from you but Stu’s grip tightens rather than lets you go. “You’re in pain?” He sounds a little too excited as he asks you that. “Orgasms are supposed to help with that you know,” He takes your momentary surprise to slip his hand out from your grip to press tightly against your abdomen. “I could make you feel better?”
“No.” He gives in to your attempts to escape his hold, letting go of you only long enough to grip you hips and spin you round to face him.
“C’mon, I missed you,” He presses a kiss to your lips that you refuse to return. “And you snapped at me. You hurt my feelings bunny.”
“Because you’re a jealous asshole,” Your words are muffled against his mouth but he hears you, nipping sharply at your bottom lip in retaliation. Hard enough for you to jerk back out of his hold and straight into Billy’s chest.
He grunts softly as he loops his arms round your waist, holding you firm against his chest.
“Don’t be mean, she’s in pain,” Billy mumbles as he speaks, you can tell how tired he is but you can feel how hard he is too, pressing against you as he holds you tight.
“Can we take a time out?” You thread your fingers through Billy’s but he seems less inclined to let you go than Stu had. “I am in pain and you’re making me a little uncomfortable here.”
“Uncomfortable?” Billy repeats dully and a little weight of dread drops in your stomach. “You were all over me a minute ago.”
The atmosphere is off. It’s not the ‘welcome home we missed you’ meet up you’d been hoping for. Between Stu’s amped up hyperness from earlier and Billy’s coldness, they seem unhappy with you and its putting you on edge. Stu softly grips your jaw, guiding your chin up to look at him before you can explain yourself.
“You’re really bleeding?” Stu keeps hold of your jaw but lets his free hand rest against your hip.
You nod reluctantly. “That’s what a period means genius.”
“Explains your moodiness.” Stu mutters, sliding his hand across your abdomen, and tugging at your jeans zipper, you move quick, latching onto his wrist with a firm grip that he ignores.
“Can we stop now?” You arch a little against Billy’s hold, freezing when you brush back against his cock. “Seriously I don’t-, I don’t like this.”
“I missed you though,” Stu pauses in his exploration of your zipper. “and I want to make you feel better.”
He tugs at your jeans again and you let go of his wrist, against your better judgement, trying to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head and the little voice that was helpfully pointing out that you were outnumbered here. hoping that maybe when he sees the unsexy sight of your old underwear that he’ll give up.
It doesn’t, he looks completely fascinated as he lets your jeans pool at your feet, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties and you squeeze you legs together before he can pull them off too. “Don’t.”
“It’ll help. Let me help you,” Stu’s fingers tap impatiently on your thigh. “It’s been a week, a whole week without you. I really really need you right now.”
“It’s ok. It’s just a little blood bunny,” Billy whispers into your ear, his hands sliding down your thighs and pushing gently, encouraging you to spread your legs. “Let Stu help you out, it’ll make you feel better.”
You don’t want to, but the want to not upset Billy further has you giving in. You can’t look at Stu as you reluctantly relax your legs, letting him pull your panties down your thighs and letting them fall to the floor. It looks wrong, and you feel so embarrassed as Stu kicks them away but neither of them seems to pay your underwear any further attention.
“Stu please,” Your plea descends into a quiet moan as he circles your clit with his index finger, sliding further down against you and you panic, squeezing your legs tightly shut before he can do what you think he’s going to do. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?” He pauses, fingers still against your skin. “Don’t what? Use your words, baby bunny, otherwise I don’t know what you don’t want.”
“I don’t want that. It’s-, I’m on my period.” You feel a bit foolish saying it again, but the need to stress that you actually are bleeding is too strong to ignore, embarrassment making you feel like maybe they don’t quite understand that fact. Billy sighs, and you can practically hear the way he rolls his eyes in the sound, his breath against your neck making you shiver.
“We know. Open your legs sweetheart,” The pet name takes you by surprise, murmured softly against your ear as his fingers stroke over your hips and across the tops of your thighs. “I want you to feel good, alright? I don’t like you being in pain. Open them for me.”
You shiver; his soft whispers sending goose bumps over your arms and down your spine and you’re obeying him before your mind registers the movement, Stu wasting no time in sliding his hand back between your legs, his index finger slowly stroking up and over your clit where he rubs gently before he slips two fingers inside of you easily and makes a sound low in his throat that sounds a mixture between a groan and a whine. “Fuck bunny, you’re wet.”
“Does your stomach hurt?” Billy asks.
“Yeah,” you whisper, not bothering to correct either of them before you screw your eyes shut, your insides clench, a wave of cramps so hard that it makes you want to cry, head falling back against his shoulder. “Everything hurts.”
“Want him to stop?” It sounds like a sincere question but even as Billy asks it Stu shows no sign of stopping. You want to say yes but don’t want to be proven right, but then Stu crooks his fingers, thumb stroking over your clit and the brush of pleasure is all you can think about. It does feel good, and it does seem to be helping. You watch Stu’s face as he glances down at his fingers as he pulls them out of you, and his groan is enough to have your insides clenching hard in need rather than pain. You could see the fascination written all over his face as he slowly dipped his fingers in and out of you.
“"I'll be really gentle bunny, I will make you feel good,” he whispered, slipping his fingers out of your cunt and holding his hand up to show Billy. “What a fucking mess.”
Billy’s quiet groan in your ear makes your breath hitch.
“Let me take this off.” He tugs at your tshirt and this time you raise your arms obediently. A small murmur of approval in your ear as Billy lifts and removes your shirt as Stu slides his hand back between your legs, cupping you tightly before moving upwards, smearing your blood and wetness up over your hip.
You feel torn between revulsion and desire, your breath hitching in alarm when you catch Stu’s gaze, his eyes are dark as they lock on yours in a way that feels borderline predatory. “Need you to lie down.”
“No.” You speak without thinking but before you could continue or backtrack Billy has a hand curling softly around your throat.
“No?” he squeezes gently, “Bunny. Don’t say no,” sliding his hand down to cup your breast. “So pretty,” he murmurs. “Do they hurt too?”
“Yeah," You suck in a sharp breath when he teasingly pinches your right nipple. “They’re sore.”
“Yeah? Stu’ll make it feel better. Come lie down with me.” Billy shifts to your side and you reluctantly follow him back to his bed, conscious of the way Stu is watching you like a hawk.
“I-,” You shift awkwardly; they don’t seem to be taking your reluctance seriously so you try a different tactic. “Probably gonna make a mess of your sheets you know. How about we swap roles?” Billy just smirks; drawing you into a kiss as he gently pushes you backwards, following you down onto the bed.
“Wanna swap Stu?” Billy keeps one hand on your shoulder, as if he’s expecting you to try and bolt as he turns to look back at him. You watch as Stu shrugs off his jeans, his eyes never leaving your blood smeared thighs as he starts to crawl up over your body, giving you no choice but to lie down.
“No fucking way,” He grins above you, leaning down as if to kiss you but moving at the last second to bite down on your earlobe. “I’m going to eat you out.”
You glance cautiously between him and Billy at your side. “Stu that’s- it’s-,” What you really want to say again is no, but it doesn’t seem to be working. “Messy.” You finish lamely.
He ignores you as he begins to kiss and nip his way down your body, his fingers tugging at your bra strap but Billy’s little whispered Leave it on has him moving on to sucking little kisses down your stomach. His mouth lingering on your hip as he nips gently at you, your body arching into him just a little and making him shiver. he would never get over how eagerly you reacted to him, especially when you obviously didn't want too. His tongue soothing over the bite before he positioned himself between your thighs.
“You’ll feel so much better bunny,” Billy was sitting patiently beside your head, hand idly stroking your hair and for one brief second it’s what you had actually wanted this morning. A soft, affectionate gentle reunion, but then Stu dips his head and licks his tongue through the wet folds of your cunt, making your head fall back with a loud moan.
“You taste like blood,” His voice was hoarse and strained and as you looked down at him, you could see him stroking his cock with his free hand. “So sexy, bunny.”
You opened your mouth to respond with something sarcastic but the words died in your throat when he buried his face back between your thighs. You hissed at the contact but couldn’t move away from him even if you were brave enough to try. Billy shifted closer, his attention seemingly fixed on Stu’s head between your thighs.
One finger stroked through your folds up to your clit, gentle and testing. It was slow, gentle, so unlike what you were expecting from Stu. The barely there stimulation was a kind of torture, leaving you squirming and eager for more. But it feels good, warm building pleasure easing the pain slowly.
"Stu," you gasped, arching your back. "Please."
"Please? You want it now?" His smirk was clear in his tone, even as he teased the very tip of one finger into you.
"Stop teasing," you grumbled. “Thought you were going to help me?”
“I am helping you.” He sighs, alternating between greedily dipping his tongue inside you and sucking gently at your clit. His name tore out of your throat as you gripped his hair between your fingers, hips rocking up into his mouth. He shifts one hand from your thigh to press flat against your stomach, holding you still as he fucks you with his tongue.
“Is it helping?" He eases off, two fingers slipping into you with a lewd noise and without even thinking about it, you attempted to close your knees, shrinking a little in embarrassment.
Billy murmurs your name in warning. “Don’t.”
You force yourself to relax, Stu pumping his fingers steadily, thumb grazing over your clit.
"Fuck," you breathed, arching your back and rocking your hips down onto his hand. You squirm and Billy sighs as he strokes his thumb across your forehead.
"Stay still," he murmurs, his voice thick with arousal. "He’s trying to help you bunny, just look at me ok?”
Stu’s nose brushes your clit as his tongue delves inside of you and you cry out, your back arching as you break Billy’s gaze, eyes squeezing shut as you feel sparks of pleasure running all through your body.
"Stu, please.”
“Look at me,” Billy repeats, his fingers grasp your chin, pulling your face towards him. He wants your attention and you’re not giving it to him, you can tell he’s amused and a little annoyed by your inability to keep eye contact.
"You like it like that?" Billy asks as Stu crooks his fingers, rubbing up against a spot that had pleasure rising embarrassingly quickly. "Slow and gentle? You gonna cum for me?”
“For me,” you can feel Stu’s breath across your skin, his lips brushing the inside of your thigh as he speaks. “I’m the one doing all the work here.”
“I-yes-,” It’s all you can manage as he sinks his teeth into the tender skin of your inner thigh and you hissed, arching into him as you clenched and fluttered around his fingers, thighs tightening around his head as you ride out the slow warming wave of pleasure. You felt uncomfortably wet and sticky between your legs and thought of the mess you must be making on Billy’s sheets briefly crossed your mind.
Stu slows as your moans turn into whimpers, his tongue lapping over you softly once more before he sits up. It’s hard to look at him, blood smeared all over his lips, chin and nose, somehow more but not as much as you were expecting, but the way he is staring at you makes you shiver. He looks scary, feral, but he's also got a shit eating grin on his face because he knows he made you feel better. “Gonna fuck you now.”
“Greedy.” Billy finally speaks up and Stu freezes. Something passes between them; a brief silent conversation that you know you’ll never be a part of but whatever was said Stu was obviously getting his way, as he moved his hips between your thighs.
“You’re going to be a good slut and suck him off while I fuck this bloody little pussy.” He stroked the head of his cock along your cunt and you heard him swallow hard as he watched your blood coat the head. “Fuck that’s hot.”
he shuddered hard as he let his cock rub against your cunt, nudging your clit and teasing you as he glides through your wet folds. He moved to kiss you and you tilted your head, trying to avoid his mouth and he tuts, obviously displeased with the movement. “I want my kiss.”
It’s a sulky, childish complaint but the puppy dog eyes and pout he gives you looks terrifying combined with the blood smeared across his face. You don’t want to but you don’t move away when he leans into kiss you again. Grossed out by the taste of your blood on his lips, coppery and sticky, you forced yourself to relax as Stu grips your jaw hard, holding you still and digging his fingers into your cheeks until you open your mouth for him. He swipes his tongue in to your mouth once and then pulls away with a low groan. Your chin felt sticky but Billy was quick to grasp your wrist tightly as you tried to wipe your hand across your mouth, Stu poking you on the nose at your grimace.
“Don’t ruin it bunny, let Billy fuck that bloody mouth of yours.”
You nod your head in defeat, biting back a moan when the head of his cock presses at your entrance, your breath stuttering as he begins to push inside. The stretch of him is unfairly divine, and you try not to think about the messthe two of you are going to make.
“Fuck, look at that.” He draws out slowly, not even half way inside you, his pupils blown wide as he stares between your legs. “You’re beautiful, bleeding all over me.”
Billy murmurs your name, his patience at being ignored obviously run out as he tugs your hair to draw you attention back to him, his cock hard and ready in front of your mouth. You open slightly reluctantly and circle your tongue lightly over the tip, but he inhales sharply, a breath that turns into a needy plea when he abruptly pushes forward. "Just a bit more, bunny."
He starts slow, letting you accommodate to the intrusion, and then slowly begins pushing further down your throat, forcing you to take him until you retch, but before you can pull away his hand grips the back of your head, holding you in place.
“Hold it there for me, breath through your nose.” His fingers wind into your hair and Billy shudders, groaning appreciatively at the sight before him. Your eyes are swimming with tears as you try not to choke. The look of adoration he’s giving you is making you want to try your best to please him, but its difficult trying to forcing yourself to breathe through your nose without panicking. “Fuck, bunny, been thinking of this the whole time you were away. You choking on my cock.”
You hum in response making his breath hitch but a sudden thrust from Stu makes you jolt, makes you gag hard around Billy’s cock, instinctively reaching out one of your hands to press against Billy’s stomach as you tried to push him away, to give you some breathing room.
“Don’t.” One of his hands quickly finds yours, giving it one you think is supposed to be a reassuring squeeze but it feels vaguely threatening instead, but he still takes pity on you, drawing back just enough to give you some breathing room. “relax.”
You try, but although he’s encouraging you to relax he’s not stopped moving, his hips unable to stay still as he thrusts slowly into your mouth. "That's it. Fuck-"
Encouraged by his praise, you try to take him deeper, swallowing around him as the tears started to slide down your cheeks. you must look a mess but Billy glances down at you with such adoration it makes your heart soar.
"Are you crying?" Billy groans, a thumb swiping under your eye. "Cute."
There’s a hum of approval from Stu, his pace not slowing for a moment as he slid his hands up to your breasts, brushing his thumbs over your nipples as he leant down, biting and sucking hard at your skin with each roll of his hips. It was all overwhelming in the best and worst way. Delicious pressure was curling low in your gut, and you couldn’t stop your hips moving in time with his thrusts, chasing after your release. Stu groaned at the movement, reaching a hand between you to push his thumb to against your clit.
“Come on, baby, you can do it,” he stutters out. “I know you can cum for me.” You were close, your orgasm creeping up on you quickly, but you could tell from Stu’s faltering thrusts that he was close too.
"m’close," Stu mumbles against your neck, tongue wet and sloppy over your skin as he strokes over your clit. “I can feel you squeezing my cock, bunny. Come on, come on." He shudders, sounding a little desperate but his frantic fingers slick and clumsy against your clit gives you just the right amount of stimulation to do as you’re told. Another slow roiling wave of pleasure that draws a strangled cry from your throat as Stu fucks you through it. You could barely breathe as Billy started to fuck your mouth harder, his own moans getting louder as he watched your back arch.
Stu hissed, the feel of you spasming and clenching around him and the sound of you gagging around Billy’s cock enough to make him reach his own peak. His hips bucking into yours one final time, burying himself as deep as he could go as a flood of warmth settled in your belly and he came with a low hoarse moan.
Billy’s movements become rougher as he curses, dragging your face to his pelvis and holding it there as he bottoms out, cumming down your throat with an eager moan. Stu’s fingers fluttering across your throat as you swallow and Billy withdraws from your mouth, leaning back on his hands with a contented sigh, eyes closed and heaving chest as he catches his breath.
You’re coughing hard, retching almost, cum and saliva dribbling down your chin, and Stu wipes his fingers through the mess, rubbing it into your skin as he continues to trail his fingers over your throat.
“Missed you.” Stu whispers. He’s still inside you, his cock twitching and softening sending little pleasurable shivers through your body.
You don’t bother saying anything, just wince as Stu finally pulls out of you, the rush of fluids immediate and all three of you stare at the redness coating his cock. He swirls his fingers along his shaft in fascination, coating his fingers in the mixture of bloody fluids.
“Shit,” he sounds dazed, and there’s a soft grunt of agreement from Billy as he slumps down beside you, a hand resting across your thigh as you both watch Stu stroke himself. It is hard to look away from, even in your exhausted state and you feel yourself zooming out as you watch, lulled into a dreamy relaxed state as Billy’s fingers trace up and down your thigh.
Stu’s hand tapping against your jaw makes you jump, forcing yourself to look up at him. His thumb brushes gently across your cheek as one hand still languidly strokes his cock.
“Clean me up?”
Billy can't help the gentle smile as he glances at you over the curve of Stu's shoulder. Curled almost against the edge of the bed, half covered by the blankets and the hot water bottle Stu had found you held tight against your abdomen even in sleep. Your hair is damp still and he knows for a fact you're going to be annoyed about that in the morning. Annoyed further when he tells you how adorable you look. It had taken him quite a lot of effort to tempt you into the bath with him earlier, which had surprised him, and hurt, but you’d caved eventually, you always did.
He hugged Stu closer, letting the sting of hurt disappear with the warmth of Stu’s skin before giving into the temptation to press a flurry of soft kisses across his shoulder blade. “You awake?"
It’s quiet for a minute, long enough that Billy thinks he might actually be asleep until Stu shifts with a sigh.
"No," Stu said slowly, sleep making the word more of an inarticulate grunt.
Billy tightened his arm around Stu’s waist, pulling himself closer until he is flush against his back . Stu makes a noise that he interprets as probably irritated, a noise he ignores and instead slides his hand up Stu’s hip and over his ribs.
"You doing?" Stu mumbles.
“Touching you?” Billy’s breath is warm on his skin and Stu shivers when another kiss is pressed to his shoulder. He doesn’t say anything, and Billy’s roaming fingers reach higher up his chest, only pausing when Stu still doesn’t respond. "You want me to stop?"
"No. kinda." Stu whispers, trying his best to keep his breathing even, failing completely when Billy scratches a nail lightly over his nipple, only just catching hold of the whine that wants to escape. "sleep."
"Oh." Billy’s amused huff sends goose bumps down his spine. “Sleep.”
It’s tempting. Very tempting, to let his fingers roam over Stu’s chest. A few more tweaks and caresses over his nipple and he’d give in, he knows it. It’s one of Stu’s major weak spots but instead he smooths his hand down Stu’s torso, letting his nails scratch teasingly over his skin before relenting, wrapping his arm around his waist and smothering his face into Stu’s back. He smells like you.
#scream 1996#stu macher#billy loomis#poly!ghostface#stu macher x reader#billy loomis x reader#scream
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I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD
Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)
Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---
Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback
I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍♂️🧍♀️
Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----
WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS
YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐
(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)
___________
DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches
Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)
And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing
(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)
Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone
(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)
Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)
♧
IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY
Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)
Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing
(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)
♡
Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell
(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)
♡
They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO
(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)
♤
Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.
(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)
☆
pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭
What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭
If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth
___________
Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)
That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰
God this is so long im so sorry everyone
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
#my asks#ask box open#please send asks#genshin sagau#not really#im gonna still label it that but its really#genshin isekai#genshin imagines#genshin sagau ideas#genshin impact#im not putting character tags suffer#genshin god reader
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Why Do You Have To Be So Handsome?
Rick Grimes x Reader
*Y/n has had a crush on Rick for awhile and she and him finally confess feeling for eachother*
Warning: Kissing
Y/n's pov:
I have had a crush on Rick Grimes for awhile now actually. Ever since I arrived in Alexandria he is all I could think about. He was always nice to me since the day we met.
He made me feel welcomed in Alexandria and even gave me somewhere to stay until I could get back on my feet. Pretty soon after I got here I decided it was best to do chores since it will pay off my debt if I'm going to be living here in Alexandria.
I get up from my bed and head to the master bathroom. I decided to take an early shower and then make my way to go see what I could do to help out.
From where I've been here for a little while I've made some new friends. But I am more closer friends with Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Abraham, Rosita, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Carol and Tara. They just understand me more and they are really nice.
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I finally get dressed and I made my way outside and down the street to see what I could do. Eventually from walking I seen Daryl outside working on his bike.
"Your doin a pretty good job fixin her up Dixon" I hollered. Daryl looked up and seen me walking towards him and he chuckled.
"Whatcha doin outta bed thought ya was supposed to be restin" Daryl said. I nodded my head In agreement but then again I'm stubborn. "Well I am supposed to be but I feel better enough to do at least some chores" I answered.
"Well if ya want ya can go on a run with me in awhile" Daryl said. I looked at him with a shocked expression. "Really? I can go" I said excited. "Yea I mean I'm fine with it but its just gotta make sure Rick agrees" Daryl added.
That's when I it felt like my heart went to my stomach. "Daryl you know how Rick gets he will get over protective and say "oh she's not ready" or some other things" I said in defense. Daryl looked at me and just chuckled a little.
"I'm serious Dixon please" I said. Daryl nodded his head and agreed not to tell Rick. "On one condition though" Daryl said. I looked at him with a full serious face. "Anything" I added.
"I'll take ya on this run but ya gotta prove that ya capable of takin care of ya self ain't just gonna be me always Savin ya" Daryl said. I mean it made sense he ain't always gonna be there to save me. I gotta prove to him that im capable of killing walkers on my own now from were I'm feeling a bit better.
"Deal" I said.
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Well the run was a fail for sure. There was at least five times that I fell and almost got killed but luckily for me Daryl was there. As we got through the gates to Alexandria I got off of Daryls bike.
"Y/n" Daryl hollered. I ignored him and ran to my house. Lucky for me I actually made it there perfectly fine. But when I got in my house I was just tired and all I wanted to do was sleep. "What's wrong with me" I thought.
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Daryls POV:
Well that run didn't go well and we almost died. "Y/n" I hollered but she still kept walking. "Damn it" I thought. I'm gonna have to report this to Rick because well we didn't really come back with anything.
I drived my motorcycle to the garage door of my house and parked inside. As I was fixing it to stand up Rick appeared beside me. "Hey Daryl you ok?" Rick asked.
I looked over at him and nodded my head. "Ya gonna have to go and check on Y/n. She's got a concussion from the run and she ran to her house before I could take her to the infirmary" I said.
Rick nodded his head and began to walk away. "Daryl.." Rick said. I turned and seen him looking at me. "Thank you... for telling me" Rick added. I nodded my head and looked down at my fingers.
"Ya welcome besides she's ya girl so I mean it's the right thing to tell ya" I said. Rick nodded and then exited the garage to go find Y/n.
➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️➖️
Y/n's POV:
I slowly walked to the kitchen with the massive migraine I had. "Why do I gotta be so stupid sometimes" I thought. As I make it finally into the kitchen I grab a bottle of water. Then suddenly I heard a knock at my front door.
"Great" I thought. I slowly start walking to the door and the person kept knocking a little bit. "I'm comin hold ya horses" I shouted. I open the door to be met by Rick.
"Oh... hey Rick" I said. Rick looked at me and nodded his head. "Hey Y/n you feelin okay?" Rick asked. I nodded my head and held the door. "Y-yeah I'm alright" I said.
Rick looked me dead in the eyes and he had a face of deep concern. "May I come inside?" Rick asked me as he nodded his head towards the living room. "Y-yeah of course" I said moving out of the way.
Rick walks inside the house and I close the front door. "Daryl told me what happened on the run..." Rick said. I turned and looked at him to see that he was looking at me with his hands on his hips.
"Rick-" I started to say but then was interrupted. "No... Y/n you have to be more careful. Especially on these runs you could have died.... it could have been something worse than a concussion Y/n" Rick said.
I just stayed silent and listened to what he was saying. I wasn't being careful with my life especially Daryls today. I wasn't being responsible like I usually am.
"Come on... let's go to the infirmary" Rick said getting me out of my thoughts. I looked up and seen him right in front of me. He put his hand on my cheek and rubbed it lightly.
"Rick..." I whispered and Rick nodded his head. "I know... come on let's go" Rick said.
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We finally got to the infirmary and as we were walking up the stairs I looked over at Rick. "Why do you have to be so handsome?" I asked. Rick looked at me and chuckled.
"Why do you have to be so beautiful" Rick asked. I then went quiet and blushed. Rick seen that and chuckled. "Y/n I love you" Rick said.
I looked at him and I could feel my heart beating faster. "I love you too Rick" I said. Rick smiled and then kissed me on the lips. I could tell this was a good day even if I did have a concussion.
#rick grimes#rick grimes x reader#the walking dead fanfiction#daryl dixon#twd fanfic#rick x reader#cute#fluff#kissing#love#the walking dead fluff#the walking dead
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HELLO!!! before i start i just gotta say i absolutely LOVE your writtings!!! they bought me smile into myface whenever i read them
okay back to the topic, i hope you see this and if you do can you make a reverse comfort? basically they had a nightmare at a sleepover and woke up in the middle of the night only to find you were awake for whatever reasons. They are absolutely flabbergasted, embarrassed about the fact that their s/o is seeing them crying over a dumb nightmare.
This promt with Teru, Kou, Akane, and Yashiro please! or if it was too much you can hust write Teru :)
have a nice day!!<3
JDHHDJQ IM HAPPY PPL LIKE MY WRITING SM I SWEAR I WILL IMPROVE MORE !!
" this is so embarrassing .. "
; yashiro :
being in contact with so many supernatural entities can lead to feeling a little paranoid. She asked you to have a sleepover mainly because of her nightmares , maybe if she slept with someone who brings her peace all the nightmares would stop , that's what she thought.
So there she is , sleeping on the futon next to your bed , though unfortunately the nightmares kept going ; she was moving and whimpering under the blankets , seeing all her loved ones under the grasp of the entities when suddendly she woke up sweating and trembling , she sitted trying to wipe her tears , when she turned her head to you and found you awake looking at her too
She was so embarassed she started smiling at you trying to pretend nothing happened " w- what are you doing awake at this hour [ name ] ..? " you looked at her with pity " i heard you moving around and i woke up " you said while getting closer to her " Nene did you have a nightmare ? " she was so embarassed about you seeing her cry , sure you've already seen her in despair but not her crying like that " me ? Crying ?? No way , why would you think that !! " obviously her attempt failed miserably " alright , i did have a nightmare ... but it was nothing , really ! "
You could see her being uncomfortable thinking about what she saw , so you didn't ask anything else ; you let her lay her head on your shoulder for comfort ; it ended up with both of you sleeping on eachother and Nene stopping having nightmares
; kou :
Kou invited you to have dinner at his house with his brother and sister , the weather got bad though so Teru suggested you to sleep with them , at first you suggested to sleep in the living room on the sofa but Kou asked you if you wanted to sleep in his room , and who are you to decline the invitation to sleep with your boyfriend. You are now sleeping on his bed and his sleeping on the floor ( he forced you to sleep on the bed )
Kou doesn't really happen to have bad dreams often , so it was really strange when he dreamed of you getting the same treatment that got Mitsuba from Tsukasa ; he was so scared of losing you too , the dream felt so real that he suddendly woke up with tears covering his eyes. He tried to search for you on the bed , just to find nobody on it ; he started freaking out when he saw you to the door walking in the room , but before you could do one step more he literally jumped on you , to your surprise ; he was touching your hair , arms , your back , he wanted to control if you were really you or if he was still dreaming " Kou ..? What happened to you ?? " you took his face in your hands just to find him quietly sobbing and with his eyes red from crying " what happened Kou , talk to me ! Did something happened while you were sleeping ? " he tried to recompose himself before talking " i - i had a bad dream .. you were there and .. and then he did something and s - sudde .. suddendly you were a supernatural .. i thought i would've lose you forever .. " you hugged him closely to you for about 5 minutes , before he calmed himself down.
you took his hand and guided him to the bed , you laid your head on his chest , his heartbeat was a lot calmer than before. You then woke up in the morning still in the same position you two were in
; teru :
You two dated long time ago , so you already knew his past , the fact that he's always been a good exorcist and he couldn't live his childhood like he wanted to. That's something it always upsetted him : being the strongest to protect the others while the live their happy lifes , not that he isn't happy tho ; he has 2 adorable siblings and a perfect s / o by his side
By now it was normal for you to sleep at the Minamotos house , its like a second family to you. It was night , everyone was sleeping , some dreaming something beautiful , others dreaming things not so amazing. It's rare for Teru to have any nightmares at all , or getting any sleep at night overall ; he has many duties to attend to and many thoughts in his head that sometimes even he can't control
Terrible scenarios were heading into his mind : people assaulted by supernaturals and he couldn't do anything about it , his siblings in danger , than you leaving him because he wasn't enough. Every little fear he has showing up in his dreams until he couldn't take it anymore. He woke sweating , he touched his cheeks that were stained with his tears , he felt so dumb for crying over a stupid nightmare
" Teru ? Is everything alright ?? " he looked up at you confused and shocked : he didn't noticed you weren't in bed with him and honestly he was embarassed you had to see him like that , he never showed his true colors to anyone and he didn't mean to show them to you like that " ah , nothing dear , i just noticed you weren't here and i woke up " of course he lied , he didn't want you to worry about him for such a meaningless dream " mhm .. then why are your eyes red ? Did you cry Teru ? You know you can tell me everything right .. " he patted the empty spot on the bed , you laid down and he guided your head to his chest , his arms on your back
" [ name ] .. i love you , you know that ? " you looked up at him surprised , it wasn't flirty or anything like that , it was sincere and pure " of course i do , and i love you too Teru " he smiled while you laid down to sleep. Maybe , just maybe , someday he'll show you his true self and his fears
; akane :
he really really loves when you ask to do a sleepover to his house , he couldn't be more happier to spend the entire day with you ; and he also loves when the night arrives and its time to go to bed , so that he can cuddle you to sleep all he wants
though tonight plans didn't go as planned , he didn't know why but this nightmares continued to torment him over and over again ; everytime he thought it was over it would start again : it was you and him being together as always , when suddendly something bad was about to happen to you but he couldn't stop the time ; he had to watch without the force to do anything , he felt useless , comparing to everyone , Teru or even the Honourable Number 7 , they are definitely better than him to fight
he woke up screaming to the time to stop , he felt that you weren't in bed with him and freaked out so bad. He calmed himself hearing your steps coming to the bedroom " is everything okay Akane !? " he started tearing up again and hugged you tightly " Akane ?? " " i really thought it was all real .. i couldn't stop the time and y - you ... you ... " you embraced him and stopped him before he could say anything else " shh ... it's okay my love , it was just a bad dream , im still here with you , and i'll always be " hearing you saying that calmed him down a lot " im sorry you had to see me like this , it was just a dumb nightmare and i couldn't help myself , its so embarrassing .. " he was so flustered it was so cute.
You two returned to bed , and if you thought he would've let you go in his sleep , you can be sure he wont now
i honestly got carried away with Teru and Akane but i love them so much , anyways this was really fun to write !!
#anime#jibaku shoujo hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun#reader insert#x reader#tbhk x reader#tbhk headcanons#yashiro nene#yashiro x reader#yashiro nene x reader#kou minamoto x reader#kou minamoto#teru minamoto x reader#teru minamoto#akane aoi#akane aoi x reader#jshk x reader#one shots
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Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.
So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.
Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?
This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.
Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3
Sincerely, 💜
Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.
The Obey Me characters become self-aware
I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.
Lucifer
Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.
Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.
He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.
Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.
However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.
Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.
Mammon
Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.
His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.
Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.
At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.
He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.
Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.
Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.
Leviathan
The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”
Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.
As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.
He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.
Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.
Satan
“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.
At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.
However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.
He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).
Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.
Asmodeus
Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.
He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.
That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?
At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.
Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.
On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.
Beelzebub
Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?
At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?
Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).
Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.
He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.
And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.
Belphegor
Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.
He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.
Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.
He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”
He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.
Diavolo
Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.
Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.
If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.
Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.
He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.
The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.
Barbatos
Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.
After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).
Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.
He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.
Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.
His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.
Luke
Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.
It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.
Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).
Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?
Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.
Simeon
Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).
It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.
Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.
He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.
Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.
Solomon
Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.
He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.
He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?
When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.
He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.
Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.
Thirteen
She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.
After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?
Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.
The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.
She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.
Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.
Raphael
Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.
His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?
He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.
When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.
It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)
Mephistopheles
Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.
He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.
He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).
When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.
#requests#lucifer#mammon#leviathan#satan#asmodeus#beelzebub#belphegor#diavolo#barbatos#luke#simeon#solomon#thirteen#raphael#mephistopheles#gn!mc#💜 anon#ask#anon#obey me demon brothers#obey me dateables#obey me others#obey me side characters#obey me headcanons#obey me#also I don't know if anyone will read this far into the tags but please don't tell me not to do drugs#I don't do anything hard and it's legal here to do what I do but it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to read that
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i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed
justifications under cut
so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together
also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs
okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism
haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it
13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman
ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that
ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh
aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)
noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you
asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)
chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh
OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm
poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3
natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit
vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk
kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3
tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk
ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him
i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."
ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all
fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh
now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)
again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect
ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is
again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG
now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan
kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright
wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful
en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf
genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed
now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass
fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent
curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho
oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS
kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is
store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs
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Jack muttering" take me instead your not touching him."
Specs pulling splasher away to gently soothe him. And jack desperately yelling no scrambling in their direction.
Blink and skittery holding him. "Shhh Jackie we gotcha. Yer allright now. We aint gonna letcha go there again."
Jack not recognizing them crying silentky thinking he failed and his friends hearts breaking just holding him till he falls into a fitful sleep and eventually they do too though not before looking at each other desperately for way too long wondering what they can do
(based on this)
Jack’s pulled from sleep by a little hand shaking his shoulder. It’s gentle and tentative, accompanied by the sniffling of a kid about to burst into tears - and suddenly Jack is wide awake.
“Shh,” he hisses immediately, a knee-jerk reaction, as he hauls himself upright in his bunk and then over the side, bare feet hitting the floor silently but hard enough to make his shins sing. He always sleeps in a top bunk if there’s one going, there ain’t as many rats that can get up there, but that means if there’s a kid shaking him they must be stood on the lower bunk, which means they might wake those kids up, which means more noise and more trouble.
Sure enough, the kid - Splasher, Splasher - has his bare feet planted on the bunk below Jack, a mattress occupied by a sleeping body. He’s got one hand gripping Jack’s bunk to keep balance while the other - the one he’d used to wake Jack up - is wiping clumsily at the tears streaming down his face.
“Jack,” he whines.
“S’okay,” Jack whispers, scooping Splasher up under the arms and lifting him down to the ground, glancing cautiously to see if the body in the bunk is stirring but panicking too hard to really look. He then crouches in front of the kid, still holding him by either side of his ribs to keep him close and still. “S’okay. Alright? Calm down. You gotta calm down. You gotta be quiet.”
Splasher hiccups. It’s deafeningly loud to Jack’s ears, and he feels himself start to panic because the kid is starting to cry. His face screws up and he huddles closer to Jack, his one hand gripping tight at Jack’s shirt.
“Jack—“ he repeats, a sob this time.
“Shh!” Jack hisses again, maybe a little sharper than he’d meant to, but he doesn’t need any listening guards to hear his name and know it’s him. There could even be listening kids, the types who’ll snitch and tell the guards Jack was up making noise hours past lights out just to get him beat or at most get themselves an extra piece of bread next week, but that’s his second priority. His first is the kid, and getting the kid to be quiet.
“You gotta stop. You gotta stop, buddy - quiet, okay? Just—just—‘s’okay, just…”
His mind is blank. Splasher is sobbing, the loud crying of a kid that don’t know what’s coming, and Jack can’t let him find out. He can’t, he can’t, the kid’s only tiny, and he’s already crying, he’s shaking like he’s scared - and suddenly his eyes, all huge and full of tears, go behind Jack like there’s someone there, and Jack immediately knows there is. His stomach drops like a stone, like his chest caved in and fell there and left the space around his pounding heart chillingly empty, and he could throw up. He’s scared. But he ain’t scared, ‘cause Splasher’s scared, and he’ll take any beating like it don’t hurt at all to make sure a kid stays safe.
He wrenches Splasher behind him rough enough to make the kid shriek, and spins with the knowledge that maybe the first hit won’t hurt so bad if he acts like he was gunning for it.
“Was me!” he says, and it’s only then that he realises he’s breathless. He forces himself to keep speaking regardless, throat feeling like it’s closing. “Was me, I woke ‘im up, ‘s’my fault, please—“
Please don’t hurt him. Please don’t hurt him. Lord, Splasher ain’t even running, he’s still stood stock still right where Jack shoved him to, even though there’s someone coming right at him now—
“No!” Jack screams, as the person reaches out for Splasher and grabs him, and Splasher goes willingly, like he trusts the monster. He don’t know what’s coming. They ain’t being rough, they’re leading him away careful but firm with hands on his shoulders, but that gentleness don’t mean much. Often enough it means it’s gonna be worse, but there’s hands grabbing Jack too when he tries to go for Splasher. Arms winding around him to hold him back, even as he kicks and wrenches and fights.
“No!” he shouts again, desperate as Splasher gets further and further away. “He didn’t do nothin’! Don’t, don’t! You ain’t touchin’ him, take me, take—‘s’my fault—You ain’t fuckin’ hurtin’ him, please!”
Jack is pulled back helplessly into the chest behind him - smaller than any guard he’s ever seen before - and suddenly he’s sinking to the floor, knees buckling, entirely unable to get air into his lungs. They’re burning, searing, as hot as the burning in his eyes, and his ears are roaring like there’s a fire too. He can’t hear nothing, can’t feel nothing, can only see Splasher being dragged away - he was trusting Jack, he woke Jack up, he wanted Jack to protect him but Jack couldn’t even do that. He failed, the kid’s never gonna trust him again, never gonna trust no one again just like Jack can’t.
“Please,” he sobs. “I gotta—he’s jus’ a kid—‘s’my fault—“
He wrenches again against the hold on him, barely a useless little jerk against those arms bound way too tender around his waist and chest, wrapped around him like a hug, and maybe he’s insane but finally he can’t help but melt. Exhaustion and failure crash over him like a wave to finally drown him, and he’s left adrift, sobbing like a kid. Sobbing like Splasher did.
Blink feels like he can’t breathe either. There’s something visceral about watching Jack writhing and wheezing like this, something that makes his brain feel like maybe there really ain’t any air in the room, even though he’s talking so there must be. He don’t think Jack is hearing a word of it, but it’s worth it just to say it. To not feel quite as helpless as they is.
“Yer alright. Yer alright, Jackie, it ain’t real. You ain’t there. Jus’ a nightmare, fella. Splash ‘s’fine, he’s wit’ Specs, he’s safe. You’re fine.”
“He ain’t fine,” Skittery scoffs, venomous, almost as breathless as Jack is.
He’s still holding him tight, even though Jack ain’t fighting anymore. It looks more like a hug now, just holding instead of restraining, and Skittery’d probably sooner die than admit it but Blink supposes that’s probably what it is. Jack is all boneless, just crying, and Skittery’s holding him like he’s trying to hold him together.
“You’re here,” Skittery tells Jack, spoken into the wild sweaty mop of Jack’s hair. “You’re at home, Jack. You’re alright now. You’re safe. Alright?”
Jack definitely ain’t listening. His eyes are still all distant and glazed over, but his eyelids are drooping like maybe he might fall asleep again, like maybe the fear’s already crashed, and on nights like this, that’s often more than they can ask for.
“Get him back in bed,” Blink murmurs softly to Skittery. “C’mon. We can get ‘im up together.”
They do. They haul him into Blink’s bunk behind them, underneath Jack’s, and crawl in with him while fiercely ignoring the eyes all watching them, startled awake by the commotion and Jack’s hollering. Crutchie’s watching from the next bunk over, but Blink can’t stomach looking at him - though not much less than he can stomach looking at Skittery where he’s on Jack’s other side, curling himself around Jack’s back. Skittery looks sick, maybe as sick as Blink feels.
Blink settles himself against Jack’s front and pulls his face to his chest, wincing at the burn of his tears and the clammy feel of his skin.
“Yer alright,” Blink tells him, quiet. “We got you, Jack. We ain’t lettin’ you go back there.”
Jack’s passed out a second later. He’s out cold, dead asleep like he got knocked on the head, and Blink don’t doubt for a second he’ll wake up in the morning still exhausted and without a damn clue what happened, like he always does when he has turns like this.
Blink and Skittery’ll remember, though. Just like they’ll remember every second they spent staring at each other over the top of Jack’s head, through sweat-damp strands of his dark hair, until they both finally manage to pass out too.
(And, true to form, Jack doesn’t remember a damn thing in the morning. He don’t even know which way’s up. He looks like shit and can hardly walk straight, stumbling with bleary, half-glazed eyes right out of Blink’s bunk a full hour before the bell’s rung. But he won’t settle - not until Blink gets up too and guides him over to where Splasher is tucked with Specs in his bunk, cosy and fast asleep and entirely unharmed.
“Think I musta had a rough dream last night,” Jack mumbles. Blink doesn’t correct him.)
#newsies#jack kelly#splasher newsies#kid blink#skittery newsies#splasher#skittery#my writing#answered#anonymous#cw abuse
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Well... I don't think that Azula hallucinating Ursa is her first hallucination.
Her reaction is slight initial surprise but then she's immeadiatley just ... annoyed. She isn't shocked or freaked out at all. It's like she's used to it. She talks to the hallucination as if it was just another day. Then she smashes the mirror, like she is fully accquainted with the fact that this isn't real.
That's not the reaction of someone who sees and hears their lost mother for the first time. No way.
(Ofc some people don't like to headcannon in this direction of her having long-lasting mental illness and prefer to think it was just a single breakdown. Which I get and is super fine).
Just thought, objectively looking at the scene, there's no freaking way this was her first hallucination.
It looks like she's been dealing with this for quite some time. And surely alone. She couldn't show weakness to Ozai. And I don't think the royal palace is big on mental health.
;
Headcanon that fits this:
Despite Azula's betrayal of Ozai (lying to him, failing him etc.), he still planned to keep using her because... that's what narcissists do. They use you as long as you can be used. And Azula is super useful! Why would he throw her away after all she did for him? When she is still so desperate for his "love"? When she could still be so very useful to him?
He wanted to keep using her, but when he saw Azula starting to "lose her mind", he decided to ditch her.
Iroh: "She's crazy and she needs to go down"
Ozai: "She's crazy... gotta ditch her. (...) Better give her the throne she never wanted so she doesn't kill me. Lmao if she turns on me im dead this bitch has blue fire, killed the avatar and conquered Ba Sing Se. She different. I still can't read maps and fire only comes out when angry"
...okay. Let me just preface this with saying that Ozai's last sentence is hilarious, is completely in-character, and should be framed.
I should also say that...since we're gonna be going into territory which is a bit of a sore subject for myself, whatever I say is not an attempt to tear you down. I do not believe in that and will try to keep this as levelheaded as possible.
With that said, while I certainly respect your opinion on Azula...I still don't believe that she has a mental illness that results in recurring hallucinations. We only have the one scene and there's only so much we can get from that. And I certainly don't think we should base everything we know of a character over their worst and lowest moment. I know because...I was guilty of that with Zuko.
But I digress.
This masterpost belongs to my dear friend @prying-pandora666 who goes into quite a bit of detail concerning Azula and mental health if you're interested. But the crux of it is, when looking at it from the lens of a professional, we don't have any evidence that Azula was mentally ill. Does that mean she wasn't? No. Of course not. It's just we don't have too much onscreen evidence to make a definitive conclusion.
And even if Azula was mentally ill (I don't think she was and was probably suffering from a mental breakdown), one should be careful to make sure it's not overemphasized to the detriment of her upbringing and Ozai's bullshit. After all, even the best kid wouldn't last too long under his parentage without getting SOME kind of trauma.
As for your headcanon, I don't necessarily believe Ozai was aware of Azula's deteriorating mental state. She didn't show any signs of it initially and he left before things got really bad. In this case though, I'd pin the blame more on Ozai's lack of focus on Book 3. Is it possible he saw the signs? Yeah, and I can believe that. Doesn't make him any less of a scumbag for abandoning her. I'd argue it makes him even worse since he left her when she needed him most after years of presenting himself as the only stable adult figure in her life.
And as a quick aside, can please stop using the "crazy and needs to go down" quote as evidence? Eshasz and Greg Baldwin both said that Iroh was in the wrong there for saying that.
...sorry. I have autism which can be constituted as a mental illness, so I get a little bit tender when discussing this. There's nothing inherently wrong with Azula being mentally ill like so many would say and you're completely within your right to believe she is. My personal advice would be to just...be careful is all. Treat Azula as a person instead of a mental illness, never try to give people the wrong idea about mental illnesses or misdiagnosing characters (especially minors) and you'll be fine.
#azula#princess azula#atla#azula deserved better#azula meta#ozai#ozai's a+ parenting#azula mental illness#anon answered#anon ask#ask answered#ask me anything
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bad decisions - jjk | ten
When his story pops up—a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus—you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel.
It's a simple message—Hey—and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.
JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?
You decide that "I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead" probably won't be Jungkook's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.
You: Just wondering how the kids are.
Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jungkook. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.
JustJK: Missing their mother.
Bad Decision #10 - Blonde
warnings: b is in her bleach era. love that for her!! jaykay is in the chapter for like 1.5 seconds and still manages to be the best thing about it. also if u think wow holly sometimes your chapters end very similarly, uhhh yes. ur right. mainly because my brain is smooth but also because jungkook is a creature of habit! it's within his character traits! not because im stupid! even if i am!
soundtrack: space - audrey nuna; blonde - maisie peters
wc: 3.5k
bd total wc: 370k (on-going)
minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |
You suppose you really shouldn't be surprised when Seokjin leaves you on read. It happens as soon as he escapes the city, just like it always does.
It's always the same; he'll come back to town for a few days—to visit friends, his family, or maybe for a haircut with the only barber he trusts—then leaves just as quickly as he comes.
The predictability of it all would be funny, you think, but your knees are getting worn out from how many times you fall for it; his charm, his deception, his pretty lips that soothe the burn of his selfish choices.
He'll be radio silent for a while, and then suddenly, as if he's finally changed the batteries in his walkie-talkie, he won't be. It'll most likely be when he's on his way back to town in a few months time.
The saddest part is that you know you'll want to see him when he does. Will have the burning desire to show him just how well you've been; how well you've coped without him.
Most of all? You'll want him to know just how much you don't need him.
Inevitably, he'll end up in your bed, and you'll end up all in your head—again—overthinking and underestimating just how easy it is for him to drop you. Forgetting just how badly he fucked you up, only for him to remind you in the most callous of ways.
When Danbi comes home on Thursday night—three days since Seokjin's last message—she knows exactly what's happened. You've got a special kind of pout reserved for Seokjin-related upsets. It's always a little soft yet incredibly hard to break.
"You gotta stop letting him in," she says over a glass of red. She hates the taste, but loves the soft buzz in the pit of her stomach. Though she's much better suited to Moscato, Danbi will never turn her nose up at free wine.
If she knew why you were drinking it, she might consider rejecting it.
Seokjin's favourite. You'd bought it on the way home from work. Just couldn't help yourself.
Had figured that at least when you hugged yourself to sleep that evening, your lips would taste like his used to do, on the nights when he'd tell you that you're the most delightful thing he's ever laid his eyes upon. Would be all giggly. Wine drunk. Happy. In love.
But it's been a while since he did that. Feels like a lifetime ago, now.
You shrug as you let the ruby-red liquid swirl in your glass. Fighting against your feelings feels like swimming against the tide.
Always struggling to breathe. Never winning. Failing. Falling.
"I don't know how to, Dan."
"But you do," she insists.
And she's right. Of course you do.
His number has never been blocked, but a simple restriction of access to you would solve so many of your problems.
Thing is, you kind of like him still being your problem. At least that way, on a technicality, he's still yours. Kind of.
Every time he comes back to the city, it's still your bed that he ends up in.
Never for the night. Just for an hour or two. Long enough for you to convince yourself that he can't stay away.
The lies you let your mind whisper are insidious. You're irresistible. He's still just as affected by you as you are by him. He can't possibly leave you.
And yet he does, each and every time.
He doesn't ever let you go. Not fully. Whenever you think you're getting over it, he shows up just to get you under him; his thumb, his spell, his body.
You're halfway through the bottle of wine when Danbi tells you once more that you need to get Seokjin out of your hair.
You've reached the end of it by the time you're grabbing your purse and heading for the closest Olive Young.
It's just down the street, by the crossroads that lead into town, and the staff there have seen you in worse states. A little tipsy has nothing on the mascara-stained eyes they used to be greeted with during the worst days of the breakup.
"Sure about this?" Danbi asks just to check before you take the boxes in your hands to the counter.
"Absolutely not, but he always hated me blonde," you grin a little sardonically. The happiness that comes with this change will be temporary, but you have to remind yourself that so was he. "At least even if I can't resist him, he'll resist me."
Peroxide and perhaps a little fried, your blonde hair had caught his attention in the early days - but you had dyed your hair dark in a bid to keep it.
He'd said some bullshit in a conversation amongst friends about his preferences, and how he favoured the 'natural look'. You weren't together at the time, not officially - but everyone there was a friend of his. They all knew you'd be going home with him. It only took two boxes of dye to get him asking to be exclusive. A week later he was introducing you to his friends as his girlfriend.
Funny what a little bit of conformity can do for a man who loves playing by the rules.
You assume his desire to tick the boxes and do what is expected of him is also why he was such a bellend when it came to the glitter you liked to dust yourself in.
Nobody's perfect though, so he was willing to overlook it. Was just one of the flaws he perceived in you. When you love someone, you accept them.
He ultimately never grew to love it, but for a while, you thought he might.
Bleach boxes in one hand, another bottle of wine in the other, you waste no time and head straight for the bathroom. Danbi follows you right in. She's always there to lend a hand or at least provide a Spotify playlist to get you through your woes.
Folding the powder into the developing lotion by the sink, you know your bleach-induced bathroom antics could get you a spot in a Brad Mondo video.
All a little haphazard, you're without a mixing bowl and brush, so are having to use an old takeout container and a plastic spoon, instead.
It's not quite how the instructions suggest you should mix it all up, but no good ever comes from following the rules.
You'd tried for Seokjin, and look where that got you.
Unlike him, trusty Tupperware has never done you dirty before. No reason why it should now.
Danbi sits on the closed toilet seat, legs crossed, a small bottle of bubbles in her hand. The bubbles had been a Christmas party favour from the office job she'd quit four months ago. Rediscovered when she'd been cleaning her room earlier that day, Danbi had taken to blowing pretty little bubble flurries your way all afternoon.
Your reflection is captured in the peacock sheen of the bubbles while you study your rapidly developing hair in the mirror.
You haven't bothered to change out of your shirt. It's not yours. One of Seokjin's. It's navy, and you hope the bleach ruins it.
"I think I've fucked up," you say all rather calmy, talking about your hair and not the shirt. It's not the end of the world if you have. Just hair, you always think.
Danbi shrugs. Has clearly spent too much time in your company, because she echoes exactly what you're thinking: "Just hair, babe. It'll grow."
That's the joy of your friendship; you both encourage each other with the same dumb remarks whenever you feel like you've reached the point of no return.
After all, if you can't go back?
Go forward.
"Plus," she adds, blowing more bubbles instead of taking a breath. "You can just chalk it up to being your hot mess era."
"Been in that for months already," you smile at her in the reflection of the mirror. You prod a little at your roots, and know that you definitely should have waited a little longer to work the bleach up to them. Bollocks.
You've done this enough times to know you'll end up with a gold band haloing around the top of your hair thanks to how easily your roots always lift. Nightmare.
"Exactly, so you may as well look the part," Danbi encourages. Worst influence going, she is. Also the best at times, too. You find comfort in the fact she won't always say what you want to hear, but what you need to hear instead.
The conversation dissolves into empty chatter, gossip about Danbi's dog walking clients, mentions of Taehyung and how he's still trying to talk her into a mates-rates discount despite the fact they aren't actually 'mates'. She asked you about your Bartender That Smiles, and you say he's all good - before you have to insist there's nothing going on there.
"He's got issues with his ex," you explain.
She rolls her eyes. "Don't they all? Boys and their first loves, I swear to God."
"Not sure she was his first," you defend, though you're not sure why. The thought lingers as you rummage around for an old tube of toner that you know you have hiding in the bathroom cabinet somewhere. It's been a while since your hair was pale enough to take toner, so it's been pushed right to the back.
Danbi is shooed from her perch on the toilet seat and into the living room as you let the shower run to heat it a little.
The first crash of water against your skin is lukewarm. Tepid. Unappealing, but necessary.
You hate anything other than boiling-you-alive degrees celsius, but know you need to be kind to your hair after the torture you've put it through. The water runs cloudy until the bleach is rinsed out, and then it runs purple thanks to your silver shampoo. It pools around your feet and seeps into the drain. Wishful thinking has you hoping memories of Seokjin will do just the same.
It's just to preemptively tone it, but you can't help but worry about the pigment taking too strongly on your roots.
The ash toner you found in the cupboard is in a box by the sink. You plan on putting that over the top of whatever mess your hair is anyway, but it doesn't hurt to get a head start on the process.
The water glistens a deep violet, briefly coating your skin - and for some reason, all you can think about is Jungkook, and how you'd really like to be downing a Purple Starfucker (or five) with him right now. He really is the perfect distraction.
Still, you have a task at hand. You rinse your hair; ring it out. Sigh as you frown at the mess that greets you in the mirror—lilac roots, a yellow band haloing just like your thought it would, and silver ends. Brilliant.
It's as you're sitting with Danbi in the living room a little while later - body wrapped in a towel that isn't half as fluffy as Jungkook's favourite, ashy toner smothering your peroxide blonde hair - that you notice your phone flash on the coffee table.
Danbi clocks it first, and stifles a laugh as she reads the screen. "Isn't that the guy from the club?"
You assume she means Jungkook, and are a little perplexed to see it's Jimin's name on your screen instead.
"Yeah... Jimin. Smooth talker, shit shagger."
"A glowing review."
"Hey, I still let him think he was good," you say as you reach for your phone to read his message out loud to Danbi. "You guys out tomorrow night?"
Sipping on her wine, Danbi raises a brow. Shakes her head in confusion. "He hoping for round two?"
"Fuck knows."
It's just gone midnight, so you consider maybe he's thinking about his desire for a hook-up, and is hoping for a safe bet in the form of you.
And so you don't reply. If he double texts, you'll just lie and say you've fallen asleep.
The scent of your toner is beginning to give you a headache, so you go to rinse it and bid farewell to your final day as a brunette.
Sleep evades you. Doesn't want to let go of who you were, apparently. Wine makes you sleepy, and yet you're wired as if you've just had a triple shot americano.
But then it's three in the morning, and all you can seem to smell is the deep conditioner you bathed your hair in that evening.
Somehow, when you look to the empty space beside you - delicately ruffled, a dent prevailing in the pillow - you convince yourself that you can smell fig leaves and coconut. The notes of his favourite aftershave linger like the ache in your chest. It's hollow, and you can't work out why it hurts quite as much as it does.
If there's nothing there, how can it be so painful?
You sniff back tears that fail to truly form and pull your phone from beneath your pillow. It's hard to move your fingers when they're tangled up in puppet strings that Seokjin is refusing to let go of, but eventually you manage to tap through some Instagram stories in a bid to distract yourself from him.
Inspirational quotes don't do much for you, nor do the engagement pictures of people you haven't given a second thought since graduation. There's an abundance of them. Smiling faces. Diamonds, or maybe just cubic zirconia. Fresh sets of nails, hands that are pink and warm from the heat of whoever's been holding them.
It's a curious thought; what people who haven't spoken to you in years must think of you now.
You were the one who was going to succeed. Going far in life, made for a boardroom, would look incredible in a pantsuit—and yet you're working in a cafe, first-class degree of no more worth than the tissue paper you flush down the toilet.
See, you switched out life goals for glitter. You wear it like armour; protect yourself from the world around you. Who cares about seriousness and success when you're a constant disco? Not you. Could never be you.
Or at least, you hope that's what people think. Hope that no one realises you're covering yourself in artificial shine; like a canvas in acrylic because you were too impatient to watch the oil paint dry.
One day you'll glow. Glow for real.
For a while, you thought you had been with Seokjin.
All you see when you look in the mirror these days is tarnished silver; copper alloy pretending to be much more than what it really is. Your skin will turn green eventually.
There is, however, one person you've managed to fool.
When his story pops up—a repost of tomorrow night's paint party event at Dionysus—you find yourself clicking through to your DM thread without much thought. You know he's at work. Know it's a 50/50 whether or not he'll get back to you before your mind begins to berate you again for how miserable you feel.
It's a simple message—hey—and you're pleased that it's met with an equally simple reply not even a minute later.
JustJK: To what do I owe the pleasure?
You decide that "I'm about to cry over my shitbag ex so chose to message you instead" probably won't be Jungkook's favourite thing to hear, so you opt for a little white lie.
You: Just wondering how the kids are <3
Part of you worries he won't understand what the fuck you're on about - but of course, he does. He's Jungkook. Gets you better than you get yourself, these days.
JustJK: Missing their mother.
JustJK: Perry the Pigeon almost fell earlier.
JustJK: Roger the Robin looks like he has a broken wing.
JustJK: Must be one of yours. Inherited his mother's wonkiness <3
With each message that comes through, your smile grows wider in the midnight darkness of your bedroom.
You: Careful or I'll file for joint custody.
You: Get poor Roger away from his father's cruel remarks <;/3
There's an ease to how you joke together, both aware of how unserious you are. There's no second-guessing, no worrying about saying the wrong thing. If you do, you'll say sorry and move on. No harm, no foul.
JustJK: Your appeal won't hold up in court, Byeol.
JustJK: You've neglected them ever since you spawned them.
JustJK: Haven't even paid them a visit!!!
Laughter stifles in your throat as your body curls up into a more comfortable position. The audacity of this boy, you think, ignoring the way he manages to get you entirely focused on something that isn't your own despair.
You: You've got full custody!!!
JustJK: And you're still allowed to come for supervised visits!!!!!
JustJK: smh and to think you call yourself their mother.
JustJK: I'm their mother now.
You pout at your screen, and whine a small little 'nooo'.
You: They need me :(
JustJK: Come and see them, then. They miss their mother.
You: Tomorrow?
He reads the messages instantly, but takes a little longer than usual to reply. It worries you slightly. Makes you more aware of your surroundings. The scent of Seokjin's aftershave begins to permeate the air once more.
Until, all rather suddenly, it doesn't anymore.
JustJK: I'm not working tomorrow night, but Jimin's insisting on going to the paint party—you coming?
You: Will Perry the Pigeon be there?
JustJK: If he falls before I leave for the club, then yes.
It's not a bad proposition. One that quite intrigues you. One that has you agreeing, and him telling you to fuck off and go to sleep. He's got work to do, he says.
It's actually quite quiet at the club—Yeonjun just caught him looking at his phone with a dumb smile a few too many times for Jungkook's liking. Doesn't wanna get caught out again.
Especially doesn't want him catching onto the fact that there's a reason Jungkook's eyes light up like Disco Balls when he looks at his phone.
Yeonjun doesn't really have friends who are girls, Jungkook reasons with himself. Won't understand that he's perfectly capable of having a little flirt without it meaning anything more than that—after all, isn't that just what banter is? Friendly flirting? He does it with the boys all the time. Doesn't mean fuck all. Just fun.
Jungkook's a couple of years older than his cerulean-haired coworker, and has learnt the hard way that you really shouldn't escalate friends above the level of purely platonic. One day Yeonjun will realise this.
For now, though, Yeonjun'll shag anyone who looks at him in the right direction. Has probably already ruined a few good friendships. Doesn't even realise he's done it.
Jungkook trusts himself not to make the same mistakes he's made in the past with you. Thinks that he's pretty happy with how things are. Has missed the dynamics of friendships with girls. Is looking forward to Monday movie night with you and Danbi again.
And yet when he gets home to find Perry the paper pigeon on his bed, he can't help but smile.
You wake up to a picture of the fallen bird in your DMs, and even though you'll whine and complain about it when you see him that evening, all you can do is smile, too.
JustJK: Looks like we're having a wholesome family trip to Dionysus tonight.
You: Mummy and Daddy reunited at last <33 Perry will be so happy.
JustJK: It's okay, you don't have to lie.
JustJK: I know you're talking about yourself, not Perry.
Jungkook doesn't send the message where he tells you not to call him Daddy. Knows you'll read into it; tease him about it. It's not like he's got a thing for it, or anything, he just... maybe wouldn't be opposed to it, and so he'd rather not be called it when he's having casual conversations with you. Wouldn't wanna get flustered.
Part of you already knows this. Is precisely why you'd said it. It's not really your style, not the kind of thing that gets you going.
But it is also exactly why you choose to end your next message with, 'See you tonight, Daddy x'.
You're laughing as you send it.
And as he receives it, Jungkook groans. Buries his head into his pillow. Crumples Perry a little in the process. Whines.
"Don't fuck this up, Jungkook."
minors dni | wattpad | series masterlist |
#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jungkook smut#jungkook ff#jk ff#jungkook masterlist#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook x oc#jeon jungkook smut#bts fanfic#byholly#angst#smut#jungkook x y/n#college!jungkook#bartender!jk#jungkook fluff#bd#bad decisions#bd!jk#bts
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Headcanons for Rivusa first date
uuuuh keep the headcanons coming ‘cause im loving it, let’s go:
riven and musa would have sooooo many not-a-date dates like:
- spending the whole night talking with each other outside of the pub instead of dancing inside with their friends because “i can’t be inside, too many people to feel…” or “i gotta smoke some, wanna tag along, fairy?”
- having way too much fun cleaning horse's poo instead of taking it as a punishment
- scheduling training more than once a week starts to become just an excuse to spend more time together, lingering longer and longer to chat in between water breaks
and then the unintentional time together starts to become more and more intentional as they go:
- one time they “lost” track of time training and missed dinner but to her surprise, riven was a man with a plan. he took her to the now empty canteen but walked right past every table, directing them to the back. he knew where everything was in the kitchen as if he had personally organized it. musa was amazed at how similar to when training he looks when cooking, in his element, free and in control. “why do I feel like this isn’t the first time you do this?” and he simply answered, “because it isn’t.”
“wow, you are treating me like one of your many girls? you hurt me riven” she played as dramatic as possible just to tease, but deep inside she feared how he would answer it. with his classic smirk, he said: “hold your jealousy, fairy….” green eyes meeting hers, “you are my one and only.” a wink flew her way before his attention was back on the food and she cursed her brain for coloring her cheeks. for the first time in forever, she wished to use her power to know how real he was being but the limiters stayed on after training.
he heated up some leftover pasta with some new veggies, they sat on the kitchen floor and ate. eating turned into a beer or two and then was 2am and they are still talking and laughing while endlessly teasing each other. once the sleep and alcohol started to get to them they decide to call it the night. he helped her to stand up and they stay chest to chest and hand to hand, eyes from eyes to mouth and all the way around again for a second too much for them to pretend that night was just another night.
- next time they decided to train bright and early before the school was awake. and riven was more than surprised to find her already sitting in the middle of the training ring, with two coffees and a bag of some sort of breakfast food right in front of her. with her (his) favorite orange training outfit on her body, her signature two low buns, waiting for him, what a view it was. “were we going to train or have tea party?” he asked already sitting right across from her while she extended him a coffee. “black and no sugar, i assumed.” (she knew ‘cause she lost about 5 minutes every morning pretending not to watch him walk through the canteen to get his coffee). “it’s a thank you breakfast… for the dinner, the other night.”
riven tried not to show how happy he was to know that the night had stayed in her mind just like stayed in his but the glint in his eyes failed him. it felt like the night in the kitchen but so different at the same time, they ate, talked, and laughed but everything was much low, calmer, and softer as the birds danced between trees. the other night felt loud, tempting, and hot. neither of them knew which one felt better but both would pay to have more of any again.
riven didn't even notice that the limiters were still tucked in the box because there was nothing in his mind that wasn't clear in his face already, she needed no powers to know he liked her.
-and moments like so became more and more a thing, many breakfasts and dinners just the two of them until loud and soft started to become one, and they danced around each other with many not-dates that ended in many almost touches and almost kisses.
- the official first date only came after a late night training, dinner was over already so riven asked while they collected their gear: “wanna hit the kitchen, fairy?” and feeling brave after kicking his ass in the last fight, she said: “when are you taking me on an actual date?”
it took him a while to fly back to earth and say something. her braveness gone in a second “chill, riv, im jok-”
“what about tomorrow night?” his words cutting hers and his (hers) favorite smirk playing on his lips. that night he walked to her room and kissed her right there and then. her body stayed between his and the wall for what felt like an eternity and not enough. musa slept feeling his taste on her lips and riven dreamed of his hands on her skin all night long.
- the next night they had their first date in town, at the pub they would always go to because neither of them cared about “where”, they just wanted to keep the things they'd been doing… with a few veeeeery good additions.
come chat with me about rivusa
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I feel like while I’m a huge huge fan (and nerd) for dc, I still feel at times like a novice because there’s always somebody a little bit crazier who can’t fight the hyper fixations the way that I can and they deeper dive than I’m mentally solid for usually. (I typed a whole lot ab wlw heroes but it DELETED so all I have to say is black lightning’s daughter, forgot her name, lesbian im sure.)
I am exactly the same about movies, I’m failing a film class for this very reason first of all😭 but those movies (despite their errors) are my comfort movies because they really transport me to a universe I love and find so intriguing, I could absolutely watch them all in one sitting and maybe even quote them all well. Tv shows are more my interest and I need to write a tv show like now now actually.
I’m trying to think of what else you told me but you’ve been so sweet so yes it’s sunny around these parts! - c, ❤️🔥
plsss i’m not sure if i’d call myself a dc nerd bc i only really know about the batfam, and even then i’ve never picked up the comics. i know the surface information for a few other parts of dc, but the my faves are definitely the batfam and anything to do with the suicide squad. I wanna look into the speedsters but consuming new media has always been hard for me idk what it is 💔 you gotta update me with what you typed about the wlw heroes!!
i felt the tv show part too bc if there’s just one thing that interests me in a show, best believe i’ll watch it at some point. can’t watch a 1.5 hour movie but i never hesitate to watch a whole season of teen titans AND teen titans go.
c, my dearest, tysm for being my first nonnie. ily. pls dump stuff in my inbox whenever you like <3
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B,I,K and P for Chihiro please and I hope you’re doing well!
Thank you nonnie! This has been a long time coming, and Im sorry its taken so long to answer this~ I'm doing much better now, and feel a little more motivated to write and answer asks again!
Now on with the asks!
B = Breath(What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)
Being overly romantic is one way to make her freeze up like a deer in headlights and for her lungs to start fighting against her. Like grabbing her hand, spinning her around, and dancing with her. Or even dipping her while looking her directing in her eyes. Even just direct eye contact can make Chihiro stop breathing for a second, her cheeks flaring up in a blaze. But what makes it even worse (funnier) is that she doesn't even know why her lungs are freezing up on her!
Team 7 is playing on the beach, and MC is just floating in the water like a piece of debris. Chihiro peers at them and sees their hair spread out like a halo around them with such a serene expression on their face. She thinks that they look so... peaceful (beautiful). Cue Hanabi Sensei looking on with a knowing smile and a soft look in her eyes.
I = Intimacy(How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)
Unfortunately, Chihiro isn't romantic at all. She's too awkward and unsure of herself in this department that every gesture she tries to make fails miserably. If she tries to gather flowers for MC, she gets ones they are allergic to. Chihiro tries to make dinner for MC? She's accidentally giving them food poisoning 💀💀. It's only when she's unintentional, and doing something completely oblivious, that she makes the most romantic gestures. When talking about MC, they always affectionately refer to them as their wife/husband/partner—or listening to MC talk while staring at them with such love in their eyes. She's down bad and doesn't even realize it 🥴🥴
Chihiro has no problem showing intimacy; she's done it all her life when you guys were just friends. Sitting with you on the docks or just taking naps with you, she loves feeling safe with you. Now in terms of emotional availability. There's nothing she has a problem sharing or even telling you about; emotions, feelings, what bothers her etc.,
K = Kiss(Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)
Ooof 🥴🥴 I gotta explain this in detail y'all! Now when MC and Chihiro get together, they'll be her first EVER everything. All she's ever done is train, study the principles of Taoism, and study regular ninja scrolls. When you finally have your 1st kiss, it's sloppy, with too many teeth and drool, but what she lacks in experience, she makes up for in earnest. After a while, she gets it down to a science, but there are times when she's still a sloppy kisser, i.e., when she's too excited, or she's in the throws of passion, etc.,
Now she's always finding a reason to give you kisses. She'll leave pecks on your cheeks and lips. Giving you forehead kisses when you've done something that you're super proud of. Any reason at all and she's placing her lips on you proudly.
P =Playful(Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)
Absolutely, completely playful 🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️🤸🏼♀️ definitely plays too much actually. Chihiro likes to hide and jump out places that MC would least expect. Giving them the big scare, and laughing like a lunatic. Once MC calms down shes giving them little kisses to apologize. She'll also love to wrestle and rough house with MC. She's pretty much a tomboy.
#char: chihiro inoue#sfw ask game#thanks for the ask nonnie 🤎🤎#anime if#naruto if#maboroshi if#if wip#twine game#interactive fiction#twine wip#naruto#interactive games#interactive novel#interact if
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gonna write this post to reflect upon things before the year ends - it will be long
i dont know how to start this - or how to even express my thoughts. but this year was hard - very hard and i wish i could remember what i was doing last year. last new years eve, but i cant remember. i wish i could tell my past self, that in a few days time, you would learn that your mom's cancer came back and then 8 months after that, on the dot, she'd pass away. obviously i cant. this last month has been especially hard, not that i was excited for christmas anyway, but it was my first one without her. one thing id do every year is check everyday for xmas music to come on the radio, which i did excitedly??? this year, and on nov 10th, it started and my excitement was cut abruptly when i realized i was alone in the apartment, without her to exclaim it too. it hit me all over again. its so hard to go into her room even though i have too bc the washer and dryer are in that particular closet, and it still feels like shes there. its eerie. its hard for me to associate this absence of her with being gone because this is just what her room looked like when she kept having week long hospital stays every month since may - so it was no different right? but i gotta keep telling myself that it is, that shes not coming home. Well she *is* home but not how I knew her.
both my dad and i felt this time was different, long before the complications began. i remember having that conversation with him, anxiety gripping every part of my being, something just felt different about all this - and it wasnt until months later that our fears would be confirmed. one of the things i struggle with most is guilt. feeling like i couldve done more, that i shouldve done more, that i was her caretaker and she died - i feel like i let her down, i feel like maybe if i had done this or that, it would be different, that she would still be here. i try to tell myself i did all i could but its difficult. i simply feel like i failed. i failed her. she deserved better than what she got -
she had seemed so invincible to me, with all that she had survived in her life, the way she carried herself with each thing she overcame - but in that final week, the one she spent in the ICU till she passed - i saw her slowly break down, her body slowly give in - i was really hoping she would Bounce Back, like she always did, so many close calls in her life, but she always came back - i was anticipating the next week when she would be out of the ICU, back at the apartment, talking about how she survived yet again -- but that didnt happen.
i completely broke after her passing, and had a solid month of feeling, disassociated from myself - deep within an existential crisis and grief - really truly grappling with what death is - and it took a while to realign myself. im still not okay - but im better than i was then. im still very lonely. the amount i spoke to my mom, daily, was something i never even realized until after she passed. i cant talk to my dad the way i talked to her - she had a near photographic memory and could recount stories and tell them in such an engaging way that i hate that i do not have a single fucking recording of her telling any story. that i no longer will hear her recount her life to me, tell me as if it happened yesterday.
im finding new things everyday that i didnt even realize i'll miss.
she believed in an afterlife, in spirits and heaven, and i hope, for the sake of the terrible hand she was dealt, that there is an afterlife, that she gets the happiness and peace she deserved. i found a lot of comfort in reading people's stories about seeing deceased loved ones in dreams, ones that feel like a visit, whether or not theyre truly a visit or just what the heart needed - it was comforting. one thing i didnt foresee was how painful the dreams she appears in would be. how painful to see her or hear her, or just knowing shes there - and then i wake up. reality hits. one odd thing to note is the first time i had dreamt about her after her passing, i wasnt allowed to look at her, i knew she was there, somewhat in my peripheral but there was a voice telling me "do not look at her, dont look at her" it was a strange feeling, it was so vivid. most of my dreams now that consist of her are typical dreams, tho a portion of them have me baffled that shes even there and i try to ask her How??? i thought you were dead, and she would come up with some excuse or some way how she survived. its a strange feeling. dreams are strange.
realizing this is getting too long. if you stuck with reading this whole post thank you i guess. this was meant for me to vent and reflect. especially since my mom was born in the year of the dragon, and 2024 will be the year of the dragon.i dont know how to end this post.
#this is a personal vent and reflection#it got really long so dont worry abt reading it or whtever#this was mostly for me
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