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goldencherriess · 1 year

Text

Getting washed away in you.

Pairing: Young! Remus Lupin x Fem! Reader

Word count: 7.8k (oops!)

Summary: Y/N is a loyal maid. Remus is a writer in the making. Both of them embark on what would become a fate sealing trip.

Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of drinking, implied suggestive content, emotional abuse, manipulation, Sirius being the best wingman out there, Remus being the definition of a gentleman, love confessions, Titanic AU

Masterlist

10th of April 1912

She knew it before her worn out shoes stepped onto the deck. She felt it in the electrifying air, in the sparkling, brand new decks, in the humming of the waves. The salty air hit her in soft winds. It was the very first time she was boarding a ship.

RMS Titanic.

They called it the ship of dreams, the ship of possibilities. It was bound for New York City, a brave destination to those who dared.

She was just a mere servant, though. Her hands were scarred by now, always scrubbing the floors or helping in the kitchen. Rough skin, but a soft heart. Y/N looked all around, taking in the sights. There were some seagulls soaring in the air and spying down at the people boarding the ship and saying goodbye with tears in their eyes.

''Do you reckon mother would be satisfied on the trip?'' a young boy's voice asked.

''When is she ever?'' another voice, this one much deeper responded.

Sirius and Regulus Black.

Ever since she can remember, Y/N worked for the noble house of Black. Her mother was a servant, and then she became one, learning how to clean the potatoes naked, for how long to boil the beef, how to iron a shirt, how to always be careful around the house, to never upset the mistress. The only help they ever got was from Kreacher, a poor house elf, who had a much crueler fate than Y/N and her mother ever had.

She learned how to keep quiet, eyes cast down and head lowered. ''Know your limits, girl!'' mrs. Black said to her the first and the only time Y/N looked her in the eyes and defied her. Since then, she knew her place.

Y/N looked towards the brothers, wind ruffling their ebony hair. She remembered the early days when they used to play in the garden, before she was dragged to the kitchen and given an apron. She was six at the time.

Regulus rolled his eyes, before he settled them on her. ''I'm sure the salty air will get to her head. Maybe she'll calm down. Everybody loves a trip away from home.''

Y/N smiled softly. ''I've never been away from home.''

Sirius grinned, before taking her arm, and took a few steps forward, as if they were going for a walk. ''Behold! The whole world at your feet, miss! The destination? The stars!''

She laughed, while shaking her head. ''Ever the dramatic, Sirius! I think you should become an actor.''

His eyes shined and he opened his mouth to say something, but a booming, strident voice that resembled the shards of a broken glass, interrupted him. ''Come along, Y/N! Stop fooling around!''

Her smile fell off her face and she took a step back, letting her hand fall limply at her side. She turned her whole body towards the voice, shivers coming up her spine. The ice-cold gaze of Walburga Black pierced her through and Y/N gulped. ''Take this luggage and bring them to my suite. I don't want to hear any complaining!''

''Yes, ma'am!''

''Now!''

''Yes, ma'am!''

She tried to ignore the pity gazes of Regulus and Sirius. She tried to ignore the churning she felt in her stomach. She tried to ignore the tears threating to spill over. She almost tripped twice, her arms aching from carrying the luggage. Her heart stopped in wonder, though, when she entered the ship.

She never saw this much grandeur in her entire life. Not even the finest silverware of Walburga could compete with this ship's interior, with big, sturdy stairs greeting her, with a clock proudly looking over the whole room, light coming through the glass ceiling. Awestruck, she remained rooted to the spot, already forgetting about the luggage. Her eyes sparkled at the sight of it all.

A stark whisper broke through. ''Know your place, girl!''

And she was pushed forward.

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Her room was modest. It was a small room but she found no reason to complain. The sheets were clean, she had a bathroom and a bed. It was more than enough. She took a seat on the soft mattress, looking all around her. There was only one small window, letting the light stream in. Her shoes tapped against the floor as she walked to it.

The ocean was sparkling, scales of light playing on the surface of it. The deep blue of it almost drew her in. The waves lapped at the sides of the ship, splashing drops of foams onto the window.

If she closed her eyes and took a breath in, she could almost taste the salty smell of them.

Growing up, the only thing she ever saw was the back garden of the Blacks and the kitchen of the house. She never experienced the rocking of a ship or its almost alive, screeching metal walls. She never experienced the kisses of the ocean.

Y/N let those thoughts wash over her before she brought herself back to reality. She was expected in mrs. Black's suite in five minutes. A large soiree was to be held tonight in the restaurant, and Her Grace had to look the most dashing, if not the most expensive.

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Y/N's hands worked through the material, tying the strings of the corset, the smooth silk kissing her fingertips.

''Tighter, girl!'' the voice of Walburga commanded her.

''Yes, ma'am.''

''I have to look the best tonight. There will be important people at the soiree, plenty of opportunities. I'm the head of the family, after all. Wouldn't you say so, dear?''

Her voice got sickly sweet at the end and Y/N almost froze. ''Yes, ma'am.'' she replied, before she tightened the corset to its limit, the material hugging the waist of mrs. Black, hiding her tummy and curves.

'''Much better.'' said Walburga, looking at her through the mirror. ''This is why I keep you around. My faithful maid.''

Y/N cast her eyes downwards. ''Thank you, ma'am.''

Suddenly, Walburga's gaze hardened. ''I expect you to be close to us at the soiree.''

She didn't back down. She knew her place. ''Yes, ma'am.''

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The restaurant was as grand as she imagined it to be. Glass doors. Lavish carpets. Carved into the wood chairs. Chandeliers. Her steps were silent, as she walked onto the oh-so-ever soft carpet. Her long skirt hid her ankles and she felt the urge to take off her shoes just to feel the fibers of the carpet tickle her feet.

''Stop gawking around, girl! You'll make us the laughing stock!'' hissed Walburga Black through her teeth, before plastering a smile at an exquisite, middle aged man coming up to introduce himself.

Sirius, who witnessed the exchange, lightly touched her elbow, and steered her away from his mother. ''Do not take it to heart, Y/N. Don't let her words get to you. She doesn't know you like I and Regulus do. And she's too ignorant to ever try to get to know you.''

She gulped, but smiled anyway. ''Thank you, Sirius. That's very-''

''And the young lady?''

A manly voice interrupted her, freezing her in the spot. Walburga's nervous and false laughter travelled all the way to her ears, imprinting itself in her mind, much like a broken record would forever be stuck on repeat. ''Who?''

The gentleman who was still speaking to Walburga repeated his question, firmly this time while eyeing Y/N. The young girl gulped, feeling drops of sweat rolling down her back.

Mrs. Black turned toward where Y/N and Sirius were at, and with a fire burning in her eyes, she replied, venom rolling down her tongue. ''Oh, her? She's just a maid.''

The gentleman's gaze turned cold and he turned his back to her, without sparing another glance in her direction.

Y/N felt her lungs closing in and she took a step back, her eyes flitting around. ''Excuse me.'' she hastily whispered before taking off. Sirius' voice drifted through the crowd, calling her name. She payed no mind to it. She couldn't hear anything except a ringing in her ears, reverberating in the walls of her being. She pushed through, taking turns around the corridors, almost tripping several times before the open sky and the salty air greeted her. Stars were twinkling softly in the inky and sticky-looking sky. The cold air filled her lungs, calming her down.

Tentatively she stepped towards the banister, letting her hands rest on the cold metal. Her eyes caught sight of the waves hitting the side of the ship, swallowing it whole. The ocean was of the most dark blue, resembling tar and drawing her in. She leaned over, trying to catch a glimpse into the abyss. The waves splashed her face with salty and cold droplets, wind playing with her hair.

''You can't see the bottom.''

Gasping, she turned around, coming face to face with a young man dressed in shabby clothes. He seemed to have outgrown them for quite a long time because the coat's sleeves were barely reaching his wrist. He was wearing his hands in his pockets, slightly hunched over because of the cold. His sandy hair shined in the moonlight and his honeyed eyes stared back at her, sporting a kind twinkle. ''It's deep. Way deeper than it may seem at first.'' he added, his voice soft.

For a moment, she was at a loss of words, hands gripping the banisters until her knuckles turned white, and eyes wide. Then, her voice found the courage to speak up. ''How deep?''

He shrugged. ''Probably eight thousand meters? Deep enough to drown if you don't know how to swim.'' He regarded her with a curious look, kindness still present in his eyes. ''Do you know how to swim, miss?''

Her voice trembled. ''No.''

''Then, if you were to fall over, I would have had to jump in.''

''Jump in?''

He started to smile. ''If you fall, I fall.''

Y/N gulped, not taking her gaze off of him. His smile was enticing. ''I'm not falling whatsoever.''

Still keeping his distance, the young man replied. ''Then, be careful.''

She nodded her head, ready to reply but Sirius' voice echoed in the night. ''There you are, Y/N! I've been looking everywhere for you and-'' Sirius stopped short, catching sight of the young man. Eyebrows scrunching, he looked towards Y/N. ''Is this young man troubling you?''

Hastily, she replied, while shaking her head, still gripping the banister. ''No, no. He- um, he saved me.''

''I did nothing, miss. Nothing a noble man wouldn't do.''

Sirius, eyes lit up and eyebrows raised up, turned towards the blond man. ''Oh, did he?''

Nodding her head, Y/N replied. ''He stopped me from leaning too far.''

''Is that so? What's your name, sir?''

Still looking at Y/N, the shabby looking man replied. ''Remus. Remus Lupin.''

Clapping his hands, Sirius voiced. ''Well, that settles it! You are to be invited tomorrow evening for dinner, eight sharp. We'll meet in front of the clock. I expect punctuality.'' Turning towards Y/N, he stuck his arm out. ''Come, Y/N, the night's still young.''

Finally, breaking away from the banister, she wrapped her hand around Sirius' arm, maintaining eye contact with Remus. His eyes twinkled like stars in the sky. He bowed respectfully. ''Have a good evening, miss.''

Her face burned, and she broke eye contact. Leaning towards her, Sirius whispered. ''He seems like a well-mannered man.''

She shyly shrugged, lost in thoughts. As struck by lightening, she turned towards him. ''You invited him to dinner! What about your mother? And what about me?! I can't take dinner with you, it's just not proper!''

''Do not worry about it. I have a card up my sleeve.'' said Sirius, gently tapping her hand.

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11th of April 1912

Y/N regarded herself in the mirror, turning around and trying to smooth the wrinkles of her one evening dress. It was quite simple (she didn't have the money for a fancier one). The dress was the colour of dry olives, her sleeves coming to an end in a lacy manner. The white of the lace started to yellow, time having had its saying.

A knock on her door pulled her from her reverie. ''Y/N? It's me.'' Sirius' voice travelled through the door.

''Come in!'' she replied, her voice strained with emotion.

Sirius' lacquered shoes tapped against the cheap floor, a dress draped over his arm. He stopped short when he saw her fidgeting in front of the mirror. His eyes met hers through the reflection. ''Good evening.'' he said, slightly worried.

''I have nothing to wear.'' she announced.

His lips were pulled into a grin and he raised his arm, showing the dress. ''I think you do.''

Shock painted her features and she turned around. ''That's your mother's dress, Sirius!''

He nodded, as if that was the most obvious truth in the world. ''Indeed!''

''I can't wear it!''

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. ''Of course you can!''

Y/N shook her head, colour leaving her cheeks, eyes blown wide. ''I cannot! It's just- I can't, Sirius!''

''And why is that?'' he replied, voice laced with sarcasm.

''Because, because- I'll get in real trouble! I could get fired for that! You know how your mother can get! She'll throw me off the property, with no penny to my name and just the clothes on me. I'm not even payed enough to put aside some money!''

''Calm down! She won't find out.''

Pointing a finger to him, she replied. ''How can you be so sure? You won't be the one kicked out!''

Sirius gasped, putting his free hand to his chest and feigning hurt. ''I'm wounded! You can be so harsh sometimes, my dear.''

She scoffed, turning away from him. ''Stop that!'' Her voice got low to a whisper, but Sirius heard it nonetheless. ''I'm just afraid.''

His eyes turned sad, shoulders slumped. He pressed his lips together, before taking a few steps towards her. ''I'll make sure she won't find out, alright? I got you, you're my bestfriend, Y/N. She won't find out. He let his hand fall against her shoulder. ''I promise.''

Her glossy eyes met his in the mirror, lips pulled into a soft smile. ''Thank you'' she mouthed.

He just nodded, letting the silence say the words he wasn't. After a beat of tranquility, he grinned. ''Come! Let's get you ready! Time's ticking!''

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Y/N wasn't used to walking in heels, especially ones which weren't hers. Her ankles trembled in them and she tried not to step on her dress train. The dress was heavy, she felt it as if it was lead. She wasn't used to feeling the cold touches of jewels pinned and sewed in the corset, she wasn't used to the dangling of the gold earrings, nor to the soft silk gloves hugging her hands. And she wasn't used to the lingering stares she got from the first class passengers. She was never one to be seen.

''Calm down.'' whispered Sirius from besides her.

''Why is everyone staring at me?'' she whispered back.

''Because you're beautiful.''

''No, no, they know I'm an outsider. They know I'm from the third class, that I'm just a maid-''

Sighing, Sirius stopped and looked her in the eyes. ''This is your night. Enjoy it, let them stare. Have fun, just forget for awhile.''

With fear clouding her eyes, Y/N stared up at him. ''And what about your mother? And Regulus?''

A smirk bloomed on Sirius' lips. ''Mum's busy. She's having dinner with that bloke from yesterday evening. And Regulus is with them, keeping them distracted and occupied.''

''Does Regulus know about all this?''

''He sure does. Actually, he was the one who lent mister Lupin a suit fit for a fancy dinner.''

Her face lit up. ''Did he?!'' she gasped.

''Indeed. So, let loose for a night, Y/N. Where's the harm in that?'' replied her bestfriend.

Casting her gaze downwards, she shyly shrugged. ''I don't know how.''

''I think he could show you how.''

Lifting her head, Y/N was met with the sight of Remus dressed in a lavish suit. She recognized it immediately. It was the one she always had to be careful how to iron, as its material was a pretentious and tricky one. It ran smoothly down his body, hugging his figure. His chest was puffed out and his legs seemed longer now. The clothes were fitting him. His blonde hair was gelled back.

And he was looking at her. He was looking at her much like he did that night, but this time there was a twinkle of awe in them. His eyes were drinking her in, watching her while she took tentative and careful steps down the stairs, one hand on the dress to lightly lift it.

He was looking at her and she suddenly was one to be seen.

Her steps halted right in front of him, Sirius right behind her. She took off her glove and offered her hand. Remus gently lifted it up to his lips, brushing them over it slightly and lingering just a moment longer. ''Good evening, miss.''

Her voice got stuck in her throat but she managed to smile and curtsy. ''You look lovely.'' he whispered only for her to hear.

''Thank you.'' she replied just as softly, eyes meeting. ''You do, as well.''

He smiled then. A smile that could shine all the way to the bottom of the ocean.

''If the pleasantries are over, I'd say we should take a seat at a table?'' voiced Sirius, a smirk present in his tone.

''Of course, sir.'' replied Remus.

''Please, call me Sirius. We are to be friends, after all.''

Remus smiled at him, a friendship slowly blossoming between them.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The turkey was soft and the mashed potatoes melted on her tongue, aromas exploding in her mouth and enveloping her in a warm embrace.

''So, tell me, Remus, what do you do for a living?'' asked Sirius, knife cutting through the meat.

''I'm a writer.'' he replied, eyes watching Y/N, before he turned his gaze to the brunet.

''Anything I know?''

Remus laughed lightly, casting his eyes onto his now empty plate. ''I'm afraid not. Not yet, at least. I'm still trying to get myself published editorially, but no luck so far. I did manage to publish a few short stories in the newspaper, though."

Sirius paused, fork stuck in the air. He turned towards his bestfriend, who was already regarding Remus with curious look. ''Well, it's great that you know what to do with your life.'' he smiled, before looking deep into his champagne glass. ''Some of us don't'' he added to himself.

''What inspires you, Remus?'' inquired Y/N shyly, trying to meet his eyes.

He shrugged, waving his hand around. ''Ah, a bit of everything.'' He, then, met her gaze deeply. ''Beauty, most especially.''

Y/N felt her face burn up, once again, but she refused to break eye contact. She rarely dared to look someone in the eyes, unless they were Sirius or Regulus. Walburga taught her that people like her shouldn't even dare to even gaze at someone of a much higher rank (''Know your place, girl!''), but Remus seemed to look past the maid uniform he saw her in that evening, he seemed to look past her rough, hard-worked hands, past her awkward posture and past her slightly out-of-place manners. He seemed to see her just the way she was.

And she liked that.

''What do you write?'' she smiled.

''Prose, but I'm yet to try my hand at poetry. Maybe I'll find the inspiration these days.''

It was subtle, but the allusion was there, directed at her, through the clash of silverware against porcelain plates, through the far away violins, through the chatter, past the laughter and gossip, past the candles and all the way to her heart.

She tried to hide her grin, but she couldn't. ''Will you, please, read me some once you do?''

''I'll be sure to.'' he nodded.

Sirius cleared his throat. Both of them turned towards him, the spell broken. ''How about a toast?'' he said, while raising his glass of champagne.

The gold bracelet on her wrist clicked against her own glass when she raised it.

''To new frienships and to lively nights!'' announced Sirius.

''To new friendships and to lively nights!''

Y/N hesitated before she brought the glass to her lips. The champagne tickled her mouth and throat before it burst into bubbles onto her tongue. The taste was sweet, like nothing she ever tried before. The only beverages she ever drank back at home were water, herbal tea made from flowers picked from the Black garden and ale on special occasions, and even those weren't often. She basked in the playful taste and the coldness of the champagne. She had a feeling she wouldn't experience it again.

Sirius choked on his drink when his eyes caught sight of a very furious Walburga. Her face was all red and her stride was rapid fire. A few strands of jet black hair were fallen from the updo. A panicked Regulus tried to stop her, waving his arms around and talking hastily. ''She's coming.'' he managed to croak out before a cough made its way through his lips.

''Who is?'' asked Remus, eyebrows scrunched together and eyes flitting between both of them.

''Mrs. Black.'' whispered Y/N.

''Who?''

''Go! Both of you! I'll hold her off!'' exclaimed Sirius.

Y/N didn't hesitate this time, she stood up and took Remus' hand before taking off. Her heels got stuck in the dress train and she almost fell over if it weren't for Remus' warm arms wrapping around her waist. ''You fall, I fall, remember?'' he said softly into her hair.

A burning red made its way onto her cheeks. She shook it off and took his hand, once again, but not before taking her heels off. Laughing, she dragged him forward, running between the tables, past the waiters and out of the restaurant. She could hear his breathless laugh, as well. It reached her ears in musical notes and high octaves.

They took rights and lefts, they ran down the steps all the way to the third class hallways. Soon they came to a stop, chests gasping for air, eyes shining and grins present on their lips. ''Well, that was fun!'' he laughed.

''I've never run from that woman before.'' she replied, almost awestruck. ''It felt good.'' she added vividly.

''Who is she?'' asked Remus, still holding her hand. His thumb began drawing circles on the back of it.

''Oh, she's- I mean- I'm her maid.'' she finally concluded.

Y/N didn't know what she was expecting from him to hear (probably a disappointed reply or gaze, like it always happened when someone found out she was a mere servant), but all she received was another laugh and a shake of the head. Confused, she asked. ''What? What is it?''

''Her? Seriously? You're her maid?''

Taken aback, she blinked. ''Yes, I-''

''Honestly, she seems to have no control whatsoever over her life.'' he replied, suddenly serious. ''Which is a pity. People like her tend to make a living hell the life of others. Just don't take anything she says or does to heart. She doesn't know what she's doing.''

She stared up at him, a sense of tranquility and stability washing over her. ''Thank you.''

The corners of his eyes crinkled in a smile. ''Of course. Now, do you want to see a real party?''

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The music was loud. Loud enough to crumble down the walls of the ship. The violins sang of long ago loves and future, promising ones. People clapping and dancing in circles and pairs.

"May I have this dance, miss?" yelled Remus over the chaos, sticking his hand out and bowing.

Y/N giggled before she curtsied. "You most certainly may, kind sir."

She had ditched the heels long ago, letting her feet cool down and relax. She felt every plank of wood whine under the weight of her dancing feet. Twirling around, her dress flashed under the dim lights and her hair fell from the meticulously put together bun. Remus took ahold of her hand and brought her closer, before he let his free hand rest against her back. ''Is this alright?'' he murmured, his breath close enough to flutter her eyelashes. She just nodded.

It wasn't long before they were sliding down the dancing floor and twirling, in rhythm to the trembling chords of violins. People were cheering and Y/N was finally remembering how nice it was to just let go for awhile, to let the world do its thing, to embrace the pulsing moment. Carpe diem.

The music stopped and she almost stumbled, Remus' nose touching hers. They were both breathing heavily, strings of sweat rolling down their foreheads. ''Can I walk you to your dorm?'' he asked in a mere whisper.

''Yes.''

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The walk down the corridors and past the millions of rooms was silent. The exhaustion was finally catching up to her, and he was holding her hand, humming under his breath the tune from earlier. The room 101 finally came into view and their feet halted in front of it.

At first, Y/N didn't dare to look him the eyes, afraid to catch her reflection into them, but Remus' thumbs raised her chin and met her gaze. ''Did you have fun tonight?'' he asked softly, a tender look present in his eyes.

She shyly smiled. ''I did.''

The corner of his lips curled slightly. ''So did I.'' He let his hand fall at his side and he tilted his head. ''I'll write a poem tonight.''

Y/N felt the air leave her. She had to blink and to swallow away some of her nerves just to speak up. ''About what?''

''About beauty.''

And then he leaned down to kiss the corner of her mouth. His lips were gentle and soft, they reminded Y/N of those satin sheets in Walburga's bedroom, back at home. ''Goodnight, Y/N'' he murmured against her.

''Goodnight, Remus.'' she managed to whisper.

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12th of April 1912

Walburga Black was absolutely fuming. She was clenching her cup of tea in her hands, a scowl present on her lips. Her face was white as a sheet, dark circles clouding her eyes.

Regulus cleared his throat, putting down his own cup of tea. ''Did you sleep well, mother?''

She turned her head towards him, almost getting a whiplash. ''You shut it! You knew what they were up to!''

''What were they up to, mummy?'' he replied innocently, doe eyes staring at her.

A fire ignited insider her gaze and she almost slammed down the cup when Y/N entered the room, a soft smile on her lips and a far away look in her eyes, a kettle in her hands. She was wearing her maid uniform, the apron already stained yellow. Walburga pinned her down with her venomous gaze, eyebrows pinched together. ''Should I bring more sugar, ma'am?'' Y/N inquired.

''No.'' replied Walburga sweetly. ''Why won't you take the morning tea with us, dear?''

Y/N froze, the kettle stuck in midair. ''Oh, I couldn't-''

''Sit.'' commanded Walburga, watching every move.

Y/N swallowed thickly, turning to look at Regulus, who was staring into his cup, avoiding eye contact with her. A shiver went up her spine and she almost turned around, leaving everyone in the dust, but she slowly sat down, the soft pillow of the chair almost swallowing her whole. ''There you go.'' said Walburga, smiling enticingly. ''Why won't you pour yourself some tea?''

Y/N started shaking her head, but Walburga's gaze turned cold. With trembling hands, she let the tea fall swiftly into a cup. She didn't bring the cup to her lips, letting the liquid simmer and the steam rise up into the air.

''Drink. It's not poisoned, dear.''

The young girl tried to meet Regulus' gaze, but he was looking everywhere but at the exchange.

''I said drink.'' scowled Walburga.

Y/N brought the cup to her lips, wincing when the hot tea burned her tongue.

''You're one of us now.'' added Walburga coldly.

Y/N almost choked. She brought a hand to her mouth, coughing. ''I'm sorry?''

Walburga laughed bitterly. ''You sure behave like us. Wearing my clothes and jewelry? Eating like the rich? Can you imagine? A mere maid sitting at a table with my son, wearing my clothes? Eating on my money?''

All the colour left Y/N's cheeks. She fumbled with the cup, lowering it on the table. She couldn't move, she couldn't hear anything but Walburga's strident voice.

''Your mother was nothing but a servant, a slave. She didn't disobey me and nor should you and-''

At the mention of her mother, Y/N saw red before her eyes. ''Excuse me?!''

''Excuse you?! I'm most certainly not excusing you and if you think-''

''How dare you?'' Y/N hissed.

Walburga's eyebrows raised above her hairline. ''I beg your pardon?''

Y/N raised to her feet slowly, meeting Walburga's intimidating gaze. ''How dare you treat me this way? I've been the most loyal, the most patient! I've cleaned your sheets, cooked you and dressed you and you've been treating me like some- like some disease! I've never even looked you in the eyes, afraid you'd dust me away and burn me alive, as if I'm nothing more than leaves in the wind! Shame on you. Shame on you because you didn't know how to respect someone who respected you!''

Walburga's nostrils flared and her face got all red. ''You ungrateful child! I raised you like my own!''

Y/N scoffed. ''You raised me?! You didn't do anything but left me to pick myself every time. You're nothing but a pathetic excuse of a woman.''

''That's it, you're fired!''

Y/N raised her chin proudly and straightened her back. ''No.''

''No?''

''No. Because I quit.'' She undid the bow at the back o her apron, crumpling it up and throwing it in Walburga's lap. ''Have a good day, ma'am.''

Walburga gasped, shockingly turning to her younger son and finding him smiling at Y/N, a twinkle in his eyes. ''I'm sorry, Regulus.'' she heard Y/N say softly before her footsteps announced her retreatment.

The room remained quiet long after she was gone.

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Remus knocked on her door twice before she opened it, smiling. He was holding a basket full of fruits, sandwiches and a bottle of white wine. A notebook was sticking outside of his pants' pocket. Eyes shining and giggling, Y/N closed the door behind her and stepped out into the hallway. ''What are you doing here?''

''I heard you ditched the hag. It calls for a celebration, love.''

She laughed, lightly punching him in the chest. ''You cheeky-''

Remus leaned down to whisper in her ear. ''Sirius helped me with the food. Let's not waste it.''

She looked up at him and nodded. ''I know a spot.''

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The stars were twinkling much like they did that first night, but this time they seemed to whisper sweet nothings and promising futures. Y/N was lying down her back, across the deck, staring up at the sky, her maroon skirt ruffled slightly by the breeze. The food was long forgotten, the bottle of wine long drank empty.

She was staring up at a sky and he was staring at her.

''I wrote you a poem.'' he announced quietly, afraid to break the serenity.

Her breath got stuck in the throat and she slowly turned her head towards him. He was looking at her like she was the only star in the never ending sky. Like she was the moon in the night and the sun in the morning. ''I wrote you a poem.'' he repeated, worried she didn't hear him the first time.

''Read it to me?'' she murmured, noses touching.

Remus opened his mouth, starting to recite it by heart, his voice filling the silence between them.

''You're a sculpture in the palm of my hand

Marble lips and bronze fingertips

You're the finest art to ever lay eyes on,

And you would bring artists on their knees.

You're the first sunrise and the last sunset

A portrait of violet and golden sunshine.

Let me be the brush to paint you with,

Let me be the one to bring you alive and colour you in.

I'm getting washed away in you,

I can only hope you are too.''

She sighed blissfully, finding the air she needed. She got closer, lips barely brushing before her hands found his shirt's collar. For a moment, everything was stilled. The waves didn't hit the ship's sides anymore, there weren't any more violin sounds coming from inside, there wasn't any wind to nick at their skin. Just them.

Remus found her waist and brought her closer, lips finding lips, eyelashes fluttering against cheeks, hearts beating. ''Thank you.'' she whispered against him, once the kiss was sealed.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

13th of April 1912

''I don't know how to write.'' Y/N confessed in the open air the next morning, the sunrays bathing her in golden hues. ''Can you teach me how?'' she asked Remus who was taking a stroll next to her, down the deck.

He turned to look at her, his sandy hair imitating gold in the sunshine. He had one hand in the pocket, one was holding hers. ''Do you trust me to?''

She nodded sure of herself. ''How can I not?''

His lips curled in a smile and he looked away from her towards the horizon. ''Alright then. I will.''

''I'll be waiting for you this evening.''

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

He came knocking at her door, shirt ironed, a pen and a notebook in his hands. His hair, as always, was rebelling, strands of hair sticking out in different directions. Y/N showed him to the bed, as her room had no table. He shyly sat down, the bed whining under his weight. She took a seat next to him, legs touching, hair down.

Without a word, he gently took ahold of her hand, putting the pen between her fingers. He cupped her hand and lowered it slowly onto the paper. She was trembling under his touch, heart racing. She could feel the heat of his body radiate off of him and enveloping her. ''So, this is the letter A.'' he murmured in her hair.

With his help, she wrote curving lines. The ink blossomed and stained the paper. ''Let's try again.'' he said.

Her hand was no longer trembling, sure lines being born from the tip of the pen. Eventually, Remus lifted his hand, letting hers to slide the pen across the paper. ''There you go. Good job.''

She laughed incredulously, turning her head towards him, hair swishing. ''I did it! Did you see?''

He laughed, eyes lighting up. ''I did!''

Her laughter slowly died down, gaze slipping to his lips. ''Stay the night, please.''

''Alright.'' he answered, short of breath.

Lips met.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

14th of April 1912

11:40 p.m.

The iceberg came without a warning. Y/N felt the crash in her sleep, waking her up. Pulse picking up, she stood up, turning to wake Remus up from besides her. Gently shaking him, he fluttered his eyes open. ''Hello, love.'' he groggily said.

''Did you feel that?'' she replied, her voice raising.

He furrowed, confusion lacing his features. Soon enough, yelling was heard out in the hallway, water coming in from under the door, flooding the room. A young worker drenched in sweat burst into the room, two white life jackets in his hands. ''The ship hit an iceberg. Do not panic! Wear those jackets and come onto the deck, there are life boats.''

As fast as he came, he left, leaving both of them shocked, wrapped in sheets and pale. Remus was the first to break free of the shock, getting up and taking her hands. ''Come, Y/N, let's get you in this jacket.''

''Will we die, Remus?'' her voice trembled.

His fingers halted. He looked down at her, hair sticking to his forehead. ''Of course not, love. I'll make sure we don't.'' He tied the strings of the jacket before putting his hands on the sides of her face. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. ''It'll be fine.''

''You should wear a jacket too.'' Y/N said, slowly choking up. She leaned down to pick up the drenched jacket, trying to ignore the cold water eating away at her skin. She put it on him, tying the strings much like he did for her.

''Let's go find a boat.'' he said, taking her hand.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The ocean flooding the hallways drenched her dress and her worn out shoes, the only ones she had. She couldn't feel her toes and she ached for a warm bed. With Remus' hand in hers she powered through, trying to get past the panicking crowd and onto the deck. At some point, she was pushed downwards by a man with a bleeding nose and no life jacket, but Remus' arms saved her from falling. ''If you fall, I fall.'' he said, just for her to hear.

Soon enough, they managed to reach the deck, crowded with people running and crying. Looking over the crowd and pushing through, Remus tried to arrive at the boats, but a voice calling out to them stopped him.

''Y/N! Remus!''

Y/N gasped, turning around, tears threating to spill over. Her bestfriend was running towards them, ebony hair fluttering, clothes sticking to skin. He stopped in front of them, puffing. ''What- What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in a boat, Sirius? And what about Regulus? Where is he?''

Taking a breath, Sirius replied. ''He's in a boat with mother.''

''And why aren't you?'' furrowed Y/N, worry swirling in her gaze.

Sirius rolled his eyes. ''Because I preferred to look for you. You're foolish if you think I would let you go down with this bloody ship! You're my bestfriend, Y/N. You should know better than that.''

Almost bursting into tears, she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him close. ''You're insane.''

''I know. Mum's told me several times.''

She laughed through her tears. Sirius met Remus' eyes over her shoulder, a respect being shown through their gazes. ''This is why I give you my spot in a boat.''

Y/N's heart stopped for a second. ''What? No!'' She broke free from the hug.

''Yes, Y/N. I have to know you safe. Both of us do.''

''Absolutely not. I'm not leaving you, nor Remus on this boat alone. I refuse to!''

The warm touch of a gentle hand on her shoulder calmed her down. ''Listen to him, love. It's better this way.''

Tears started to slid down her cheeks. ''But you promised. You said you would keep us safe.''

He nodded, thumbs drying her tears. ''I am.''

She shook her head, hair flying around. ''No, no, you're not. I can't leave you behind.''

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He could see her clearer now, eyes drowned in tears. "You're not. We'll see each other on the other side."

Her lower lip trembled and she took a step back. She could see how Remus' heart was breaking at the action, his own eyes turning sad.

"I'll look after him, Y/N." promised Sirius, an unconvincing look in his eyes.

Her gaze moved between both of them, before it settled on him. Remus was a light. This was something she grew to know these past few days. He brought light where she saw darkness, he illuminated her ways. But now, he seemed down, his shoulders slumped, crushed under the reality.

She couldn't seem to see the light in his eyes.

"I'm not going." she finally concluded.

"You are." stated firmly Remus, taking her hand. "You are."

"No, I'm not." she furrowed stubbornly.

"We'll found each other afterwards." Tears gathered in his eyes. "Please, love. I'll be fine, you'll see."

Something broke in her, but she didn't let her tears flow anymore. She just nodded her head, letting him carry her to the boats, letting him help her lower herself in one, meeting his gaze for the last time.

People cried all around her, a little girl saying goodbye to his father, wives kissing goodbye husbands, violins sorrowfully playing in the background, the ship whining. Her eyes took in the reality of the moment and her soul crushed.

They started lowering the boat. He was still up there, hands in pockets as always, hair ruffled, shirt crumpled. Sirius was somewhere besides him, his lacquered shoes now long ruined.

She couldn't take her eyes off of Remus. The way he still tried to look casual, as if it was another Sunday. The way he always seemed to know what to say. The way he was now missing his notebook. The way he didn't have a penny to his name, but a whole lot of treasurable qualities. The way he looked at her.

And the way she was getting washed away in him.

In a spur of moment, she jumped off the boat, her hands barely taking ahold of the banister from the second floor. People shrieked and she almost fell, but a new found willing power gave her strength and she pushed herself up, her feet touching the ground.

It was as if she knew the way to him, past the corridors, up the stairs, all the way to the clock. Remus met her halfway, cupping her cheeks and bringing her close. "What did you do that for?! You're insane, you're absolutely insane!"

"I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't. I couldn't let you go." she replied, emotion evident in her voice.

He covered her face in feathering kisses, hugging her close. "We're getting off this ship together. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."

The ship tilted, furniture sliding down. "Come on, we have to get out of here." he said, taking her hand, once again.

The ship whined for the last time before it snapped in two and Y/N slipped. She shrieked, already falling. She got ahold of a banister, looking up at where Remus was at, heart beating out of her chest. He was struggling to remain upwards, hands sticking to the same banister, knuckles turning white. Drops of sweat were rolling down his forehead. "You have to let go!" he yelled over the commotion.

Y/N's eyes got wide. "What?" she yelled back, unbelieving her ears.

"You have to let go, Y/N! I'll be right behind you! If you fall, I fall, remember?"

Y/N felt as this would be the last time she'd hear his voice. Her eyes clouded and she opened her mouth to tell him the words, but he seemed to read her thoughts. "Don't. We'll talk afterwards. We'll have plenty of time. Just let go!"

And she did, letting gravity do its thing. Her skirt fluttered upwards and she felt as if she was falling towards the middle of nowhere. She was expecting to free fall forever, but the icy waters of the Atlantic Ocean swallowed her whole. The cold water was nipping at her skin, tearing at her warmth and depriving her of it. Panicking, she tried to swim towards the moon, whose rays cut the surface of the ocean.

I don't know how to swim. I don't know how to swim.

She flipped her hands around, kicking her feet.

I have to swim, I have to swim.

She pushed her head upwards, finally coming to the surface. Oxygen filled her lungs and she gasped for air. People were screaming all around her, splashing and calling names.

"Remus?! Remus?" she yelled, her voice trembling because of the cold, her lips already turning purple.

"Remus-" her voice died down.

Looking around her, she found a piece of door and climbed on it, almost slipping at first. Her eyes searched for his sandy hair through the people struggling in the water, but the darkness had its saying, letting a black veil fall against her eyes.

With a sob, she laid on her back, the chilling air cutting into her skin.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

She was drawing the letter A into the air when the life boats came back.

"Hey, is anybody alive?" a sailor's rough voice called out.

Her hair crumpled because of the icicles when she got up. She tried to yell, but her voice had long left her. With the last ounce of power, she waved her arms, cold tears once again forming in the corner of her eyes.

"There! Someone's there! Turn the boat!"

Soon enough, she was helped into it, a blanket draped over her quivering figure. "You're safe now, miss."

The boat turned around, leaving the millions of lifeless and floating bodies behind.

Leaving a piece of her heart behind.

•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

15th of April 1912

"No, you do not understand! I'm looking for Remus Lupin! Have you got someone under that name on this ship?"

RMS Carpathia was bustling with people. People who were crying after other people, families who were being reunited, others who were finally coming to terms that they might be on their on own from now on.

She was given a hot tea and a warm bed, but she couldn't find her place.

"Calm down, miss. We're trying our best."

"Well, you're not trying enough!" she flared up.

"Y/N?"

She could recognize that voice anywhere. It was honeyed and gentle and she could wrap herself in it and forever feel warmed up. Abruptly turning around, she was greeted by the sight of him, all worn down. His clothes were dry by now, but they were stiff. His hair was catching the daylight, shining gold. And his eyes were puffy and red.

She burst into tears at the sight of him. Her feet had a mind of their own, carrying her to him. Remus met her halfway, with shaking legs. "I thought- I thought I lost you forever." his voice quivered. "I couldn't find you anywhere."

"I'm here." she managed to croak out. "I'm here. Let's get off the ship together when it docks. We can make our own life. You can become a writer and I can open a bakery."

He took ahold of her face, bringing it closer and planting a fevering kiss on her lips. Letting his forehead fall against her, he whispered. "It would make me the happiest man alive."

A tear slipped down her freezing cheek. He kissed it away. "I love you, Remus."

"I love you back, Y/N."

The Statue of Liberty was overlooking the scene, the sun warming up the people, bringing new horizons and days.

And Sirius saw it all, from afar, holding onto his little brother's shoulder, a small smile playing on his lips.

•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

A/N: this was it! Thank you so much for reading! I put so much heart, time and thought into this fic, it's really insane. It took me loads of time to write it and to plan it out. Most of the time the Titanic soundtrack would accompany me while I tried to find the right words. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

And yes, that little poem is also written by me :)

If you'd like to be added to my tag list, comment under this post or send me an ask!

Tag list: @bohemianrhapsody86 @andreead

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