#& over the years the group of visitors just continued to grow until it became a whole celebration | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

black-mesa-slut-voice · 3 years

Photo

YOUR BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO CLASSIC HEADCRAB DOMESTICATION

Click below to start reading this comprehensive document!

Note: All of this is written purely for fun by an aspiring zoologist who simply loves genetics and speculative biology! This is only mildly inspired by source material, and isn’t completely indicative of canon. A lot of these things are just speculative or made up for fun!

If you want to use any of this information for your own headcanons, OCs, or fanart, you are 100% welcome to use it, though I would like to be credited!

If you would like to see more things based on these headcanons, ocs, or simply more things or art I’ve done on this subject, check out my #headcrabguide tag on my blog!

HISTORY

In the wake of the 7 hour war and the proceeding Combine invasion, there was a large amount of casualties. However, not all of these casualties were humans. Animals took a lot of hits as well, and in the remaining 20 years before liberation, the resulting environmental tolls as well as continued extermination caused this sixth mass extinction- arguably just as bad or worse than the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs. Nearly 75% of land animals and over 68% of marine animals went extinct in this time frame.

The most notable toll was on human-domesticated animals. Because of the Combine influence, any animal that was reliant on human care was almost immediately wiped out, both purposefully and inadvertently as humans were no longer available to care for them. All livestock species and most pet species were completely eliminated, leaving humans with few, if no animal companions.

Humans, however, are a very social species, and are naturals at befriending things that are arguably dangerous. Wolves, cats, and even less common creatures such as foxes, snakes, and spiders were kept and tamed and bred for companionship and work despite their danger. When the Combine forces were driven off and humans were once again allowed to practice the art of domestication, they were left with very few options. Some birds, a few select felines, insects, and alien species were nearly all they had to work with.

And so, work they did.

Headcrabs, despite their use as a weapon by the Combine, were one of the first alien species to actually be domesticated. It is theorized that this is because a number of factors- first is that the one of the leading rebellion leaders, Dr. Isaac Kleiner, actually possessed one name “Lamarr”, putting the idea in many people’s heads that they could be tamed and kept. The second was their abundance. They were easy to find and acquire, and despite their danger, could easily be captured. Third, they are very easy to selectively breed and mass produce. Lastly, it was quickly discovered that headcrabs are much more intelligent and social than previously anticipated.

In the wild of their home planet, Xen, headcrabs actually had a very complex social system and niche. They formed large groups- called casts- that staked out swathes of territory. The leader of the group was called a gonarch. The gonarch was a large, heavily mutated headcrab that was the sole reproducer, similar to that of queen bees or ants. Though it was large, fast, and capable of defending itself, it lost it’s ability to easily feed itself, as it’s mouth became much smaller to make room for the reproductive sac.

Because of that, the rest of the cast was tasked with hunting and feeding the gonarch in exchange for protection and reproduction. The smaller, albeit still mature headcrabs would go out, and attempt to hunt down anything it could- smaller things were eaten or fed to the gonarch, and larger things that had the right shaped heads could be ‘coupled’ with, fusing the headcrab to it’s host and creating a gonome. Though gonomes were more powerful and capable of hunting larger prey and defending the rest of the cast, in turn, they lost their ability to reproduce. Thus, most casts had one gonarch, several gonomes, and many crabs.

Gonomes could come in any species that was large enough for a headcrab to couple with- and is perhaps why headcrabs were actually so easy to tame. With the right social encouragement, a headcrab can easily recognize humans and other larger creatures as being part of their cast, and regard them in the same way they would a gonome- with social respect and friendliness.

With a few generations of selective breeding, headcrabs quickly became much more docile due to their natural instinct of accepting oddly-shaped creatures as part of their cast.

CARE AND HANDLING

Despite the generations of breeding leading to a much more friendly, domesticated headcrab, care must still be exercised with them in regards to handling. They are very similar to cats in the fact that, despite their domestication, they can still be wild at nature and will often hunt smaller creatures, and are capable of harming someone if provoked.

Also similar to cats are their sense of community. Like mentioned, headcrabs can be trained and raised to see certain people- usually a household- as part of their cast. However, this presents a problem with strangers entering their ‘territory’. If not properly socialized, headcrabs can be quite aggressive to anyone they don’t recognize as part of their cast. This is beneficial for those who don’t expect anyone, or want a ‘guard dog’ type of pet- but can be detrimental to those who have friends or family that may come to visit.

Though headcrabs lack eyes, they are not completely blind. They have subdermal eyes located near the base of their front legs, which can detect lights and shapes. That, combined with their ability to ‘taste’ the air with specialized glands, are how they recognize others and their environment.

If you plan on having someone visit, it may be best to have something that smells like the visitor on hand for a few weeks beforehand, so your headcrab can become used to their scent.

For headcrabs that don’t mind activity, you can also take your headcrabs on walks or trips into public to get them accustomed to having strange scents and people around them, leading them to be less aggressive, even at home. Of course, it is always a good idea to have proper restraint for any flighty, aggressive, or even headcrabs that have never been socialized in public before.

Another good way to prevent injury is physical modification. For headcrabs that simply are rowdy or aggressive- or even just as a precaution for the most well behaved crab- there are several things you can do to prevent injury.

When headcrabs first started being tamed, the most common method of modification was ‘debeaking’. Despite it’s name, it’s actually a misnomer, as headcrabs don’t have beaks, only radial rings and fangs. ‘Debeaking’ was the process of removing all 18 fangs on the underside of the crab surgically, usually when young. This prevents them from growing back and completely eliminates the risk of being bitten.

However, this practice was quickly upturned under the argument of it being inhumane. While the headcrab often doesn’t suffer because of this, as their fangs are only used for gripping prey and not eating it- if done incorrectly, it can be painful in the long run.

One of the slightly more common methods are ‘fang caps’. Similar to claw caps for cats, fang caps are a small, plastic cap that can be fitted over the fangs of a headcrab. With a small amount of specialty glue, they become long-lasting solutions for injury prevention with no physical harm to your crab. Despite the seemingly perfect upsides, there are also precautions you must take. It is possible for a fang cap to become loose or fall off either through being applied incorrectly or simply from wear and tear. Thus, you must always monitor the state of the caps to ensure there are no accidents.

The third option, and the least used, is clipping. Though it does not remove the whole fang, clipping refers to filing down/clipping each fang individually so it’s not sharp. However, this is generally not only difficult, but it’s actually uncomfortable for the crab, and they can grow back fairly quickly.

For headcrabs that are properly either defanged or capped, there is little to no risk of being bitten. If a properly cared for headcrab does attack or try to mount your head, it can simply be pulled off, as there’s nothing allowing it to grip onto it’s ‘prey’.

However, you must still be mindful of the long, sharp front claws. Unlike the fangs, these do not have nerves until very deep in- and thus, can be slightly trimmed and filed with no discomfort on your crab’s end.

FEEDING

Headcrabs- despite their predatory nature- are not only social, but omnivores as well. This fact comes as a surprise to some people who look at them and compare them to things such as spiders.

Indeed, though a headcrab is most definitely a predator, they’re more opportunistic than anything. They will often eat nearly anything they wander across, including small creatures, decaying corpses, fruits, fungi, algaes and lichens, and very occasionally some vegetables and leafy matter.

Most of what they eat is less dependent on taste, and more of their actual physical ability to eat it. Because of their hyper specialized mouthparts, they are unable to chew. Instead, they scrape at the soft parts of whatever is fitted into their mouth with a specialized, rough ring around the inner mouth fitted with a bunch of extremely small ‘teeth’, similar to that of a lamprey. Thus, they can only eat what they can scrape off with that, and cannot chew bones or anything hard or with too much roughage. It’s non uncommon to see a headcrab take something into it’s mouth, such as a small bone or rock covered in lichen- ‘suck’ it clean, and spit it back out.

Thus, headcrabs can be fed nearly anything that they can fit into their mouth. Of course, that is within reason- it’s always good to look up what is or isn’t toxic to your crab, as well as feed them specialty diets to make sure they get all of the proper nutrients they need without over or underfeeding.

The most common way to feed is with commercial ‘crabcakes’- rounded nutrient blocks resembling a large piece of kibble, that comes in several sizes to fit in any crab’s mouth. Once given, a headcrab will take about a few hours to eat it, and don’t need to be fed again for another few days, or up to a week, depending on activity and how many supplemental treats are given in between. Though it’s perfectly fine to feed them only cakes or only prepared food, the most enriching and balanced option is feeding the cakes once a week, with smaller, daily ‘treats’ of different varieties being given.

Some of these treats can include:

Pieces of meat (any type, cooked or raw)

Small, whole prey (commercially prepared mice or chicks)

Whole or sliced fruits (apple, pear, etc)

Tubers (potato, sweet potato, carrot)

Hard vegetables / stalks (chopped celery, broccoli, etc)

Mushrooms (anything edible by humans is edible for your crab)

As a special treat, sometimes you can replace a cake with a large ‘prey’ item that would also take several hours to eat. Some examples are:

Large whole prey (Whole birds, large chunks of meat, antlion grubs, etc)

Large fruits (Melons of any type are a favorite)

Large vegetables (heads of cabbage, heads of broccoli, etc)

Of course, any meat-based items are going to be chosen over non-meat items if offered.

BREEDING

Breeding headcrabs, unlike many other creatures, is generally not something that can be done unless you are a committed hobbyist. Namely because normal headcrabs- even if they are mature- are incapable of breeding whatsoever. The only type of headcrab that can reproduce are the gonarch, the heads of the cast. All headcrabs are biologically ‘male’ until they transform into a gonarch, or lost reproductive organs entirely as a gonome.

Originally a gonarch was produced when there simply wasn’t a gonarch in the group. The largest, strongest individual would then begin to grow and mutate, similar to how many fishes can mutate into a larger or opposite gender if needed.

However, this ability was removed from the headcrab- along with the ability to create proper gonomes- by the combine when they were being used as weapons. Though headcrabs were efficient at taking care of humans, anything larger and more dangerous threated to get out of hand; the combine didn’t want them reproducing out of control and becoming another threat. Incidentally, this is also when their eyes became subdermal as part of a side effect of gene altering.

Because of this, there are only two ways to breed a headcrab. One, and the most common, is to create an artificial gonarch sack. Blueprints were taken from the combine after their defeat that allowed humans to replicate the same technology that allowed them to mass-produce them before.

Artificial gonarch sacs are similar to ‘ghosts hearts’ where they are pseudo-biological, and accept any DNA put into it. Thus, you can insert DNA from any crab to become the ‘gonarch’ or ‘female’ DNA, and either get the smaller male to ‘mount’ the artificial gonarch in a specialized area, or do the male portion artificially as well.

The artificial womb also lets you control how many offspring are produced, as normally a gonarch can produce hundreds of crabs from each successful mating- too many, often, to properly take care of.

Much less common is the artificial transformation of a true gonarch.

Any headcrab can be stimulated to turn into a gonarch with the injection of artificial hormones that trigger the process. It will then take a few weeks to a few months for the crab to transform.

However, this is not recommended for a number of reasons.

First, they are large. They need much more than a house for their territory- they often need several acres, and if it’s deemed unsuitable for a nest, she will refuse to breed and become agitated.

Second, they are very territorial, aggressive, and dominant. If you were a gonome to them before, you still are- which means, in headcrab ranks, she is now above you, socially. Even the most docile crab becomes an aggressive, protective creature who will defend her young and territory with her life. Combine that with their massive size, they are extremely dangerous, even to a professional.

Third, it is very hard to regulate the exact breeding. She will only accept other headcrabs from her cast, and if she deems them unfit, will promptly kill them. And even once they are bred, they can produce several hundred offspring- of which it is very hard to take care of, and even harder to take away from her due to her protective nature.

Lastly, she cannot feed by herself. She requires being fed specialized food through specialized apparatus- and a lot of it.

It’s expensive, costly, and overall dangerous. Thus, artificial gonarch sacs are generally the go-to.

COLORS AND PATTERNS

Just like with previous animals that were domesticated, such as cats, dogs, and goldfish, after a few generations of breeding they began to exhibit unique colors and patterns. After enough time, unique, recognized colors, coats, and even breeds came to be official recognized.

It was made even easier because breeding for exact genes was made simple by means of artificial sacs. Thus, headcrabs come in a vast array of colors and patterns, some even unique to certain subspecies.

The most common colors are pale, albeit warm shades of tans, yellows, and browns. In more rare cases, they can take a more green, purple, or red tint.

Tan, ash, sand, and flaxen were the first recognized distinct colors that were bred onto headcrabs. Chocolate and umber quickly arose from the original tan, with rose following not far behind. When rose was cross-bred back with umber, it resulted in lilac.

Golden arose when sand crabs were bred for vibrancy, and sorrel was the result of a cross of golden and umber.

Flaxen gave way to wheat, and then swamp when bred for the cooler, greenish mutation.

Patterns, too, were something that quickly came about, not long after the first distinct colors began to be recognized.

The first patterns that arose were speckled, striped, and Siamese (named after the similar patterned cat).

Fawned came from a recessive mutation that reversed the pigment cells that caused the spotting pattern on speckled crabs, making them appear lighter instead of darker. Pearled arose when it was cross-bred back with speckled- which usually resulted in speckled, but sometimes in pearled. Because fawned is recessive, the only way to get fawned is to breed with another fawned or a pearled. Breeding a fawned and a speckled results in only speckled or pearled.

Snowshoe, similarly, rose from the same recessive mutation, though this time with Siamese. Similar rules apply; though an ‘in between’ similar to pearled does not exist, as they simply neutral each other out.

Capped rose from Siamese, though it looks similar to bullseye. Bullseye actually came from a very hyper specific mutation of smoked, and is one of the most rare patterns, much moreso than capped or smoked.

Striped crabs are what were bred into both smoke and ticked- with smoke being an increased level of pigment, and ticked being a decreased level.

Marbled is another very rare pattern with dubious origins. Some say it’s a standalone mutation, though others say it originated with smoke, bullseye, and even speckled. However, none of these are confirmed.

Of course, all of the patterns and colors on the charts above are not every single example- there are many more sub-variations of colors and patterns of each type, these are just the main, conformed and recognized ones. They also don’t include any non-recognized crossbreeds or mixes of colors or patterns that aren’t an established record.

UNIQUE BREEDS

Even moreso than recognized colors and patterns are unique breeds of crabs. Though, again, not even breed pictured above are all of them, these are just some of the more noteworthy examples.

Truthfully, nearly all crabs are going to be your standard breed, and not one of the ones pictured. Unless it is either obvious or has had a genetics test, it is safe to assume your crab is a standard.

Two of the most recognized sub-species are the racer and the false poison. These were both bred to be inspired by the combine-created species, the “fast” headcrab and the poison headcrab. Their target audience both began for people who liked them in theory or as an aesthetic, but lacked the funds, ability, or want to deal with the much more dangerous and aggressive ‘true’ versions.

Because they were intended for war, fast headcrabs and poison headcrabs lack almost all social aspects that standards do, are much more aggressive, flighty, wild, and dangerous. Not to mention to potent neurotoxin than poison headcrabs excrete, and the vicious teeth of fast headcrabs. Nowadays theyre both often bred for show or work, but we aren’t focused on them here, simply the standard crab.

Pancakes are some of the harder to recognized subspecies, due to their generally unassuming appearance. They’re named so because they’re typically ‘flatter’ than the normal headcrab, tend to range in the golden-sandy color range, and are described as being ‘soft and sweet’. True to that, that is the original purpose that pancakes were bred for- they’re small, lazy, hyper-friendly headcrabs that almost never attempt to show any signs of aggression unless severely pushed. They’re great for households with kids, or simply people who want a slightly less high-maintenance crab.

They can come in nearly any pattern and color, but again, tend to be in the warm, golden-yellow tone range.

Hunchbacks are a much more narrow breed, since it's recessive, and tend to be not as desirable for no other fact than their appearance. Still, that are amazingly unique. Because of the rarer, recessive nature, they generally only swamp/wheat/greenish colors, and only come in a narrower range of patterns, including speckled, smoked, striped, ticked, and marbled. Though, because of the fact that speckled exist, pearled and fawned theoretically could too- there’s simply yet to be documented evidence of a successful fawned mutation.

Nubbed is another breed caused by a rare mutation that has been successfully bred into a small population. It’s very easy to spot because of it; the mutation clearly causing their front claws to be short, or ‘nubbed’. Nubbed can come in any color or pattern, though they tend to follow the standard/less extreme patterns and colors. This is because it was because of a mutation that actually happened really early in domestication, before a lot of colors or patterns were even bred, and is a recessive mutation making it hard to breed with rarer colors and patterns.

Saddlehorns are an extremly unique and very specialized breed. They’re definitely recognizable by their concave back and the nub near the base of their front claws. They also have a pattern that's unique to only saddlehorns- which is the 'cow spotted' pattern. However, it isn’t just random spots. Though they do have large splotches, they always have a band going around their middle as well. They can come in any pale color, and the markings are usually in the brown to dark, almost black range.

Bunin or “Bubbleheads” are actually a relative of hunchbacks, and not saddlehorns, despite the head similarity. They tend to follow the same rules as hunchbacks, but instead of greenish tones, they come in golds, yellows and warm-orange tones. There has also been confirmed cases of fawned and pearled bubbleheads.

Volkov are a common, albeit specific breed that's bred for it's ferocity, but also it's loyalty. They’re often easy to mistake for a standard, and combined with their relative commonality make them hard to identify to the untrained eye. They appear like standard headcrabs, except they have a slight hunch to them. Their real difference lies in the personality.

As mentioned, they’re loyal and very attentive to the rest of their cast, but have a ferocity and sharp hunting ability that comes with it’s protectiveness. They’re often used as pest control or ‘guard dogs’. This makes them suitable for those jobs, but poor choices for people who live in high population areas or have lots of visitors.

They generally come in browns and blacks, but can truthfully come in any color. They can come in MOST patterns- all but smoked and bullseye.

Batas are another weird breed with a unique patterns, which is the squiggly markings centralized on their rump. They only really come in variations of the color pictured, golds, flaxens, and sandy. Similar to pancakes, they're known for being very complacent with handling, making them good for those with kids or for shows, where the more prominent the markings the better they judge. The difference is the fact that the whole breed itself is prone to many health problems, as it’s very recessive and commonly inbred. Purebreds are pretty expensive.

Silkies or “thinskins” are a breed that came from a mutation that caused their skin to be extremely thin. They're questionable morally to keep, since they're prone to getting wounded very easily, even by their own fangs and claws. Because of this, they have to be debeaked and/or declawed, or must have fang caps at all times and their front claws filed regularly, les they hurt themselves.

They also generally have a myriad of other health problems because of the inbreeding needed to get them, and are prone to several diseases, skin problems, and increased chance of injury.

They generally dont have any patterns, but come in most all colors. However, because of their thin skin, their yellow blood tends to show through, giving any color a yellow tint- and appearing outright yellow on lighter coats.

Munchkins aren’t as much of a breed as they are a mutation, and can come in any color or pattern because of it. There can even be munchkins of other breeds.

Hookclaws are a very newly recognized breed, and still have yet to be fully explored. So far, they can come in pretty much any color, but they never have any patterns aside from a heavy gradient on their back. More research is being done to try and breed patterns onto them.

SUMMARY

Despite their nefarious beginnings, headcrabs quickly arose as a very common, domesticated companion in the post-combine years. Though they aren’t for everybody, they make a fascinating, unique pet for those willing to put in the work and research. Or, even if you aren’t interested in adoption; the history and genetics are a fascinating, competitive, and potentially lucrative field for any young entrepreneur.

So whether you’re looking for a new companion, someone to guard the house while you’re away, or simply a new career in genetics, headcrabs are an amazing species to look into.

#half life #half life 2 #headcrab #headcrabs #speculative biology #alien biology #my art #ask to tag #headcrabguide

4K notes · View notes

scarecrow-supremacy · 3 years

Text

A/N: Oookieee, so I decided to start writing a new fic bc I have great ideas for a story line. Yet I can’t bring myself I writing an actual beginning. Like I’ve already written some random chapters, but I can’t do anything with them because they don’t really make much sense without the context of the rest of the fic/my ideas. Like this chapters is where the romance/actual x reader gets into actual action. Hopefully you get the gist of what the plot is, and aren’t confused as hell from this part. Sorry if it’s a bit long, it’s around 4.8k-ish words. Enjoy 💜

Hatake Kakashi wasn't one to celebrate his birthday.

He simply thought that they were foolish excuses to let loose and party. To Kakashi, birthdays were no reason to be happy and celebrate. They were just reminders of how long he had endured the pain of living. Each year marked another without the people he once held close in his heart. His father, his sensei, his teammates, and (y/n)...

The day that (y/n) gone on that horrible mission was his special day. The mission he was supposed to go on, but (y/n) filled in for because she wanted him to go celebrate with Gai and the others. So much for having the day of joy...Kakashi thought to himself mournfully.

With a great sigh, he grabbed the last of his belonging, shoving them in his mission pack. He'd promised to take his students out of a group mission for the day, but it had been mostly for selfish reasons. Kakashi had hoped that this would take his mind off of the weight in his soul, yet knowing that his efforts would be futile. The loss would never leave him, it would always follow him like a darned shadow. It would forever haunt him. There was not letting go of the horrors of his past.

Slowly, Kakashi strolled to the gates of Konoha to meet his kids, shoving his hands in his pockets as he mumbled a little tune under his breath. The dark cloudy sky and drizzling rain seemed to mirror how he felt inside.

Drip, drop. Drop, drop. Drop, drop.

Each raindrop fell upon the dirt paths of the town, dampening Kakashi's Jonin uniform. If only he'd gone on that mission, if only he hadn't let (y/n) take his place. If only so many things that happened hadn't. If only he felt whole again. He could feel the heavyweight of guilt on his shoulders, spreading pain throughout his body. Sure, Team 7 filled the void, but they could only do so much. If there is one thing I wish for, it is that these kids will grow up to be happy.

A soft smile played upon Kakashi's face as he approached the three teens. "KAKASHI-SENSEI!" His hyperactive blonde student, Uzumaki Naruto, yelled at him, "YOU'RE LATE-TTEBAYO!" He raised his fist in anger. Sakura glared at both Kakashi and Naruto, slapping the boy's back to calm him down. Off to the side stood Sasuke, his hands in his pockets as he briefly kicked the dirt and pebbles around him to form his clan's symbol. "Usuratonkachi," he grumbled at the group. To be honest, Kakashi did feel a little guilty about keeping the kids waiting for him. They were being held back just because he was wallowing in self-pity. And Kakashi felt ashamed of that; ordering his mind to push his thoughts further to the back of his mind.

Kotetsu and Izumo, guards of the gates, turned to the team and smiled in greeting. "The gate opening mechanism is broken, so we have to manually open the gates," they explained. "Heading out yet again, eh?" Kotetsu chuckled. "I thought you lot just came back from a mission. Ya leaving so soon?" Izumo asked. Naruto pumped his hand into the air, "Yeah! Dattebayo! It's only a C rank, but it'll be fun-ttebayo!"

He's a lot like you, eh Obito, Kakashi's mind wandered as he looked up at the clouded sky, a drop of rain fell upon his nose and slid down his mask. If only you, Minato-sensei, and Rin were here to see us in action. You would be proud.

But what about (y/n)? Part of Kakashi was surprised that he didn't think of her immediately. Did he still believe that she could've been alive? After the Hokage had told him that he'd lost contact with (y/n), Kakashi didn't know what to think. It had been 3,650 days since she left. 3,589 since she was supposed to come back. And 3,529 days since they fully lost contact. What were the chances she'd come back, alive or injured? Kakashi wanted to believe that she was still alive. Was that realistic?

"She's gone, Kakashi! You need to understand that!" He flashed back to when Asuma, Gai, and Kurenai had tried to slap some sense into him. Well actually, Kurenai had slapped him. "Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura gently tugged his sleeve, straining her arm up so her red umbrella would also cover his head. "Are you okay? You've been spacing out a lot lately." She whispered as she looked up at him.

"I'm fine, Rin," Kakashi weakly smiled, "It's nothing that you should worry about." Sakura flashed him a questioning look, "Rin?" Sucking the air, Kakashi's whole body tensed up, "Sorry." He looked away, turning his attention to the bickering Sasuke and Naruto. "Just a little mix-up, Sakura." He put on a fake smile, breaking up the boy's fight. "Let's go, shall we?"

"Alright! Shanaroo!"

"Dattebayo!"

Kotetsu and Izumo went to open the gates but stopped to exchange worrisome glances. "Someone just knocked from the other side of the gates. Which is weird because our list says that we shouldn't be expecting anybody." Izumo knit his eyebrows together. Kotetsu, who had been looking through a glass which allowed him to see the incomer, hastily urging Izumo to help him. "ANBU!" He had barked at his partner, "Bleeding! Dying, wounds, whatever! They need medical attention!" That had caught Kakashi's attention, he got ready to act as the guards opened up the gates, heaving on the rusted hinges. Yet he was not mentally prepared for what awaited on the other side of the grand doors.

There she stood. Uniform torn, stained and ripped up. The wakizashi sword that was strapped to her hip was blunt and scratched, the sheath dented. Skin scratched and bruised, wounds dripping with blood and gore. A long x shaped cut on the inner side of her left thigh. Gasping and choking for air, she started to wobble, blood dribbling down her limbs and stomach. The rain continued to fall, now hard and heavy; burning and searing the wounds of the lady. Yet she still managed to keep her face from wavering In an instant, Kakashi recognized who the woman was based on her cracked porcelain ANBU mask. (y/n).... "Sakura! Go alert the hospital. And you two boys, clear the way for Sakura so she can get there. Quickly!" Kakashi ordered them as he took the heavily wounded woman in his arms. Anger and fear coursed through Kakashi's veins as his heart thumped erratically. He could feel (y/n)'s body twitch in pain. "Izumo, go let Hokage-sama know that Ibara-hime has returned." Kakashi let out one last demand before zipping off to follow his kids.

"Kakashi..." (y/n) mumbled out his name, "Kakashi..." she shakily rose her hands up to gently cup his masked cheeks. "What is it?" He whispered, gently rubbing her skin through a torn patch of her ripped uniform. "Happy birthday, Hatake..." She softly breathed, her tight grip of Kakashi's chest loosened as her eyes dropped closed. Please don't die, (y/n)... I've waited all the fucking years. You aren't leaving me again. A tear formed in Kakashi's eye, flying off with the rain as he bolted towards the hospital. Stay with me a bit longer, will you?

"My sensei will be here any second with an ANBU woman in need of immediate medical attention!" Kakashi heard Sakura's voice quiver as he barged into the hospital. "I'm here, kids. Go to Gai-sensei and stay with him until I'm back." He quickly barked, flashing all of the nurses who flowed into the room a nervous look. "Please, help her. I'm begging you." He pleaded with the staff uncharacteristically. I need her to live. Need. "We do what we can, sir." One of the medic-nin nodded, putting (y/n)'s unconscious body onto the stretcher. If (y/n) lives, that would be the best birthday gift ever.

Kakashi jogged after the nurses and doctors, peering into the emergency clinic room through the window. "I'm sorry, Sir, but you won't be able to visit the lady until all the major injuries have been cleaned up and treated." A male nurse out his hand in his shoulder from behind. "But..! Okay..." Kakashi let out a sigh, "Isn't there any paperwork that needs to be filled out?"

The nurse shook his head, "The Hokage has come and is speaking to one of my colleagues about it. Don't worry about it. You won't have to take care of any of that." He tried to reassure the angsty shinobi, "The woman is part of the ANBU ranks, right? Her mask is of the uniform." Kakashi nodded his head, biting his lip inside of his mask, "Yeah...she is... but it's kinda complicated." The nurse raised his eyebrow but just shrugged. "Can I speak with the Hokage?" The Hatake requested. "Come this way," the other man sighed, leading him away.

Kakashi let out a deep and long sigh as he held (y/n)'s scraped hand in his gloved ones. He had been told by the same nurse from before that (y/n) was in a decent state to accept visitors, yet was still unconscious. He could tell that the nurse was hiding something from him, but he was too worried about (y/n) to give it a second thought. Hesitantly, he brought her hand to his masked lips, gently pressing them against the fabric. "Ya know, (y/n). After you left, I decided to give those goddamn books a try. And you're right, they are addictive. Thanks for the gift," Kakashi sadly chuckled before pausing for a moment.

"Those books, they helped me a lot. They helped me get through my days, just like you told me."

"They also helped me realize something. They helped me realize that I don't hate you. I don't want to hate, and I never should've."

"I've realized that I was such a dick to you at the beginning and that it was all my fault that our relationship became how it was. I regret it... So when you wake up again, I just want to start over again. Maybe not entirely, but just so that we can leave all the hate behind us. How does that sound?"

Kakashi stared at the sleeping (y/n), her chest heaving up and how slowly and rhythmically. It hurt him to see her like that, her skin swollen in the places of the stitches and anointed bruises. "Listen, (y/n). I'd never been able to tell this to you while you're conscious, so I might as well let it out now. I...I love you." Kakashi rightly shut his uncovered eye. "After feeling your loss, my dumbass self finally realized how much you are worth. After they pass on, you and the others were all I had left. But then you also left me, that hurt like hell." His tone started to break.

"Lord Hokage told me about the whole fake-death move, and I was relieved that you weren't gone for good. And then we lost contact, everybody assumed the mission had been finished, and your squad sacrificed your lives for it. I couldn't let the fact that you could be a dead sink in. It didn't feel right. Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai tried to get me out of another depression cycle. Kurenai even went to the lengths of quite literally slapping some sense into me." Kakashi played with a loose strand of (y/n)'s (h/c) hair.

The muscles of (y/n)'s hand twitched ever so slightly. Kakashi's drooping head snapped up; he'd almost fallen asleep in the chair. "(y/n)?" He murmured as her eyes started to flutter, "(y/n)?"

(y/n) chapped lip parted ever so slowly, taking a big breath of air, her (e/c) eyes squinting. "Hatake..?" She shakily managed to mumbled, her voice hoarse and dry. She tried to prop herself up on the bed, but Kakashi eased her back into her resting position. "Rest, (y/n), you're not ready to stress yourself yet." Kakashi to her, "I'll be back with a nurse and some water for you, alright?" (y/n) opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She simply looked down and nodded.

Moments later, Kakashi came back with the nurse and water. "Here," he carefully put the cup to her lip, gently tipping the cup, "Good." He turned to the nurse, who seemed to be scribbling something down from the little monitor to his clipboard. Kakashi's eyes followed the cord attached to it, to the long x shaped hash in (y/n)'s inner left thigh. What worried Kakashi was the anxious look on the nurse's face.

"(l/n)-san, your vitals are doing alright, but you'll have to stay here for a night or two just so that we can keep an eye on something's that may need monitoring." He curtly nodded his head, "Lord Hokage wished to speak to you. So, sir, that means you may have to leave."

Kakashi tried to reason with the other man, but (y/n) reached to weakly squeeze his thigh. "It's okay, Hatake. You can just drop by later." (y/n) tried to smile. "Fine," Kakashi grumbled, leaving the room and letting Hiruzen in.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hiruzen came back out. "How's (y/n)?" Kakashi asked him impatiently. The Hokage put his hand on Kakashi's shoulder as if trying to soothe him, "She'll be better soon. Don't worry, alright." The silver-haired shinobi let out a small grunt, "I know that she'll get better with time. But what about now?"

Kakashi knew that Hiruzen loved (y/n) almost like a daughter, he cared about her deeply. Hence the elaborate cover-ups to protect (y/n) and her squad on the unconventionally lengthy mission. The Hatake could see the sadness that had tried to be tucked away in the Sarutobi's eyes. "The main concern of the moment is the poison in the gash on her left thigh. The medic-nins have tried to extract as much of it as possible, and try to find something that will counteract the effects." The elderly man explained to him. "Did they find an antidote?" Kakashi questioned.

"That is where the problem lies," Hiruzen explained, "There is a certain medicinal herb that is used alongside a jutsu to nullify the effects, as the poison has traces of chakra. We have a few medics on hand who support the skill to perform the jutsu, but we don't have the plant. Even so, that won't be a permanent cure." Kakashi knit his eyebrows together, "How would it not be a perfect cure? Plus, since there are traces of chakra, could we possibly track down the person who created the poison and make them fess up on the cure?" He questioned.

"Great thinking, but..." Hiruzen groaned, "(y/n) said that they performed a self-destruction jutsu just after striking her. He probably thought that it would be in their best interest to take their secrets to the grave with them." Kakashi cursed under his breath, "Fuck... This is terrible."

Hiruzen nodded in agreement, "No duh."

Kakashi's head shot up, "Uh?!"

The elder man's eyes widened, "Did I use the term correctly?! I'm trying to pick up on the phrases the kids are using these days..."

Kakashi gritted his teeth, "Right idea of the meaning, I guess. But the context and timing...wasn't quite fit." Looking ever so slightly dejected, "Oh...alright." Smoothening out the wrinkles in his robe and putting in his cob pipe, "Kakashi, if you are going to stay here with (y/n), could you at least pick up some good food. The food in the hospital canteen is quite bland." Kakashi nodded his head and obliged, only to be stopped in his tracks by Hiruzen.

"Kakashi, I'd like to ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"What caused your change in actions towards (y/n) change so much?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've observed you two whilst you were in the ANBU together, and you never got along that well. And suddenly you act so attached to her, Kakashi. You don't need to answer. It's just that as your leader, I want to understand what is going on in the heads of some of my most trusted people." Hiruzen explained to Kakashi, puffing out a cloud of smoke from his cob pipe.

Kakashi frowned from behind his mask, trying to figure out how to explain his change of feelings in a professional manner. "I think that after I was given the impression that she was gone, I noticed that I cared about her. It made me realize that I was wrong to not see how much she meant in my life." He tried, his voice fading off into a whisper. Hiruzen smiled and nodded, "You really are something else, Kakashi."

Kakashi silently strolled over to Ichiraku's to grab some takeout. The paper lanterns lit the nearly empty streets of Konoha, creating a soft and soothing ambiance. The smell of the rain and moisture still clung to the air, the dirt roads had muddy dampness to them. "Yo! Kakashi, my eternal rival!" A boisterous and friendly voice greeted the said man. "Hey, Gai," Kakashi responded, he noticed his students sitting alongside each other and gave them a quick wave and smile. Naruto and Lee were arguing about who'd get Sakura. Sakura insisted that Sasuke would come around in her favor. Sasuke was quietly eating his food. And Neji and Tenten were discussing a new sword they saw in the windowsill of a weaponry shop.

"I'll take two eggplant miso soups with brown rice noodles," Kakashi leaned over the counter space between Lee and Naruto to order his meal, also effectively stopping the argument. "Thanks, Ayame," he thanked the daughter of Teuchi, owner of the quaint place. "No problem, Kakashi-san!" She chirped.

"Kakashi?" Gai raised his brushy brow, "Your kids told me about what happened this morning..." Kakashi sighed and pulled him aside so that they were at a comfortable distance, "It was (y/n)..." he told his best friend, "She's back and in the hospital because she's not in good health at the moment. I just came here to pick up a meal for her." Kakashi watched as Gai's jaw dropped, "(Y/N) IS ALIVE!" He exclaimed a touch too loud for his eternal rival's taste, "CAN I MEET HER?!" Tears of youthful joy waterfalled down the jumpsuit-clad man's cheeks. "I'll see if you can come tomorrow, alright Gai." Gai smiled broadly, "This is very...unusual. Youthful, nonetheless!" He grinned.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his head and nodded, "I'm glad she's back..." he murmured barely loud enough for Gai to hear. Knowingly, Gai patted Kakashi's back. "Oh! Yeah! Happy birthday, my youthful rival!" He gently punched his comrade's shoulder. A smile formed on Kakashi's lips, "Thanks, Gai." He flashed his eccentric friend his signature close-eyed smile.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye, Kakashi! Have a good night!"

Knock knock, Kakashi rapt (y/n)'s door, "Can I come in?"

"Come in," (y/n) murmured, a small moan of pain escaping her lips, "Ouch..."

Kakashi quickly set the takeout on a little table, rushing to (y/n)'s side. He wrapped his arm tightly around her waist and helped her to the table. "I got us dinner because the food at the canteen isn't that good." He explained with a slight shrug. "Thanks, Hatake," a weak smile formed on her lips. The silvered-haired Jonin served them their meals. "Itadakimasu," they both mumbled.

Heavy tension filled the room as they ate in silence. (y/n) knew that Kakashi had his mask down, but didn't look up. "It's been a while..." Kakashi breathed, in hopes of hearing (y/n) speak, "Too long..." The kunoichi rested her forehead on her palm, "I- Yeah..." she mumbled, eyes growing classier by the second. So much for trying to start a conversation... Kakashi thought sadly as they resumed their meals without a word. The silence seemed to be killed him. Kami, it had been 10 goddamn years! 3650 days since he had gotten to talk to the woman. He missed her. Hell, he could even say that he missed all of their little spats. Hatake Kakashi missed everything about (y/n).

"I missed you..." was all Kakashi mumbled as he pushed his finished food away and pulled up his mask, "All these days, months, and years."

Hot tears slipped down (y/n)'s cheeks, forming a puddle on the table. "I-I came back be-because I didn't want-want to hurt you and the r-rest. Dying on passed down pain to the people who love you. I can't afford to c-carry the guilt of t-that." She mumbled shakily, "I promised to be back, a-and I held up the promise." Kakashi sadly smiled as he awkwardly reached under the table to gently caress (y/n)'s thigh.

"You care about others so much, but you should really take a moment to care about yourself, (y/n)." Kakashi scolded the injured kunoichi, "You had me scared for you; all those gashes and open wounds... You could've died," he knit his eyebrows together in worry. "Don't do that ever again."

(y/n)'s dull smile faltered as Kakashi spoke on, "Now you know how I felt when I saw you doing all those suicidal stunts back then on those missions. It was like you were in a hurry to die... I mean, I was too, but you did some seriously dumb shit," she giggled emptily. Kakashi sweat-dropped, "I see... I guess you are right..." (y/n) rolled her (e/c) eyes as the masked shinobi let out a drained sigh, "I'm always right, Hatake."

"Really, (l/n)? You've been through torturous pain, and you still act like a child." Kakashi groaned, "All these years..." (y/n) shot him a hard glare, "All these years and you still think you're in charge of me." He cast a confused look, "It's my duty to protect you, as a comrade." As a comrade... "I guess, but you're just annoying, Hatake," she huffed.

"I'm sorry about ruining your birthday with my arrival and stuff. I probably ruined your plans with those kids." (y/n) looked down, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them, "I could hear you guys through the gate; they seemed pumped about going out. I'm sorry, I didn't think about the flaws in my whole plan." Kakashi's head snapped up from its resting position on the table, "It's fine, they don't even know it's my birthday," he paused, "But you planned to come here? As in, today in particular. With all those injuries, (l/n), you should've just tried to take care of yourself. My birthday isn't as important as your health."

The (y/n) shook her head, "I was going to stay at a small village pretty far from here before finally coming home. I planned to just heal up there and see how things went from there. I even considered settling down there. But that just didn't feel right," (y/n) face set in a frown, "Once I realized that your birthday wasn't that far off, I decided that I couldn't stay and needed to come back. I doubted I would even live to be back. But here I am..." she said with a soft wince of pain. "It was terrible, I hated every second of it," Her (s/t) fingers made their way to the raw mark on her inner thigh, “I’d already lost so much; there was nothing for me to lose at that point.” Kakashi's face softened as he understood what she meant. (y/n) wasn't put in the mission alone, she had her team. They all must've been killed with time.

"Ouch!" (y/n) yelped as she let out a moan of pain, clenching the fabric of her hospital-issued pajama pants. “Shh..." Kakashi whispered into her ear, quickly leaning in to soothe her, "What's causing all this pain?" He asked with a frown as (y/n) bit her lip. "It's the thing in your thigh, right? Lord Hokage and the nurse told me a bit about it. But I still don't fully understand it and how it can't fully be cured."

(y/n) buried her face in her hands, "Oh..." She mumbled, "The poison can't de be removed because it's already been inside of me too long. And since it is laced with chakra, the properties of it aren't completely like normal poison." She blinked back the stinging agonizing tears in her eyes, "The herb that I need is just going to ease the effects in my body, whilst the jutsu will seal it from triggering anything that was layered in with the chakra." (y/n) explained. Kakashi could tell she was trying her hardest to keep her face straight, pushing back the pain and hurting inside. "The thing is–"

"What?" Kakashi asked the pained woman, his tone soft and soothing, "I can help if I know what's going on."

Warily, (y/n) agreed to speak on, "The place where the mission was stationed at was just underground of the nuke-nin outpost I was from. And the guy who poisonous me was one of the other kids' experiments were done on, along with me. He was a few years older than us, and his name was Hiroto Myoga. His parents were in owed debt to the rogues, they were forced into being test subjects until they died. Which left Hiroto in the nuke-nin's hands." She rubbed the temple of her head pushing away the images that sent a shiver down her spine, "Something similar had happened in the case of my parents and me. But unlike me, when the ANBU did the raid, Hiroto was snuck away just in time."

Kakashi's heart sank as he heard what she was telling him. (y/n) had never known much about her past, the damned curse seal had caused. “Since he was older than most of the other kids there, the nuke-nin's of the outpost decided that they needed to trust their information. It was all precautionary, just in case they were taken down. And that's just what happened. Hiroto was the one ordered to put memory restriction curse seals on us, the kids, before he fled to be underground, where the actual harm was being done. That meant that all this time Hiroto had been working in those old plans." (y/n) closed her eyes tightly, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes.

With a subtle groan, Kakashi supported (y/n) up from the chair and rested her in her cot. "Don't stress yourself, (y/n). You can just tell me later; it's getting late anyway." He told her. "It's fine, Hatake. Letting this out helps me feel better." She reassured him.

"The ANBU caught wind of suspicious activity in that area and decided to send out a squad to go check out. I overheard Danzō arguing with Lord Hokage about it, and got interested. It was really dumb, but I just wanted to go to learn more about what happened in my past. I learned, but that can with lots of twists and turns. 10 years of going undercover..." (y/n)'s (e/c) eyes met Kakashi's single uncovered black one, "It wasn't long before Hiroto became suspicious of us, slowly narrowing the group down till it was just me." (y/n) took a deep breath and continued, "After Hiroto killed himself in our final fight, my curse seal was lifted. That's how I suddenly was able to remember all of the past. All of it."

A pit formed in Kakashi's stomach as he watched (y/n) cry in silence. He wanted to help her feel better, he really did. But he was afraid that he'd make things worse; dealing with feelings just wasn't his thing. "I'm here for you, (l/n). We've been through so much together, you've helped me through it all," Kakashi tried to reassure her, "It's my turn to look after you. Please, just don't cry." He reached out his hand to brush a tear-off of her streaked cheeks.

“Are you okay with me staying here for the night?" Kakashi asked (y/n) as they sat at the bay window, looking down upon the empty moonlit streets of Konoha. The soft light cast down by the moon seemed to make everything look beautiful, serene, and at peace. "(l/n)?" He asked again, turning to look back at her. A gentle smile played on Kakashi's lips as he saw that she'd fallen asleep. (y/n) had been through so much throughout the day, she not only deserved to rest for a long time but also needed to. "Good night, (y/n)..." he carefully lifted the sleeping beauty and placed her on the cot. Sitting back at the bay seat, Kakashi took in a deep breath. "I love you."

She's finally back.

She's finally home.

188 notes · View notes

verai-marcel · 3 years

Text

Of Dragons and Love (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x F!Reader, 18+)

Summary: Arthur didn't want to come to Strawberry, didn't want to help a certain sniveling rat escape his cell. So he decides to explore the town instead and runs into a mysterious woman whom he can't let go.

Author’s Notes: I’m gonna take a moment and lean hard on my heritage to pull some inspiration from an old Cantonese opera. And we're gonna leave Micah in his cell because nuts to that guy. So pretend this takes place in chapter two when Arthur was supposed to go rescue him, but decided to do a side quest instead. This was written for the RDR Mini Bang! @rdrbigbang

Tags: Arthur x F!Reader, spoilers, Chinese mythology-inspired, alternate timeline, mild exophilia, insta-love, magic, smut, HEA

Word Count: 6,378

Accompanying Artwork: @danger-r-98-5 has made some wonderful art for this fic!

AO3 Link is here.

--------------------

Arthur stepped into the small town of Strawberry and immediately wanted to turn around. He could pretend Micah was dead. He could just bide his time and wait for him to hang.

As he rode through the small town, he passed the small jail and kept going to the visitor's center. Seeing the map of the nearby area tacked onto the wall next to the entrance, he hitched his horse and walked over to take a better look.

"Welcome to Strawberry, good sir!"

Arthur flicked a tired glance at the boisterous man before continuing his casual perusal of the map, waiting to see if he would leave. When the man remained beside him, he sighed, exasperated.

"Hullo," he said without looking at the other man.

"Are you here for business or pleasure?"

"Uh, just passin' through." It sure as hell wasn't for pleasure, and his business was his own.

"Ah, I see. Well, please keep us in mind if you ever want to spend a day relaxing in our lovely town. This hotel is the coziest in West Elizabeth," the man boasted, gesturing behind him. "And the scenic Mount Shann and Owanjila Dam aren't too far from here."

"Alright."

"And Big Valley, just past the mountains, is a beautiful place to hunt and camp."

"Uh huh."

When Arthur continued to look at the map without any further inclination towards interacting with him, the man gave up on his sales pitch. "Well, I'll be inside if you have any questions."

"Ayup."

Finally alone, Arthur focused on the path that would take him to Owanjila. He'd been meaning to do a bit of fishing and commune with nature. Seemed like as good a place as any.

Anything to postpone the reason he came here.

***

You weren't sure how you lived so long, not knowing what you were. You had been living with your mother for two decades, not knowing who your father was. Your mother didn't talk about him, and the one time you asked, she had simply said one thing.

"He disappeared."

You didn't know what that meant exactly, and she did not explain.

Until one day, on your twentieth birthday, he appeared. A large, scary looking man came to your door. Your mother paled and tried not to react, but when he held out a necklace and told her how sorry he was for leaving her alone, she broke down and cried.

You found out that when she was young, your mother lived in a small house by a waterfall that fed a large lake. There was a growing town not too far from there, where she worked as a waitress.

One day, on the other side of the lake, a group of Chinese workers made camp as they worked on the railway that was coming through town. They were not welcomed in the town by most people, but your mother took pity on them and sold them food and other groceries, for a delivery fee.

Somehow, your father had caught her eye, and they developed a secret relationship. When her parents discovered the love letter your father had written to your mother, she was kicked out of the house, without anything of hers to take with her. When your mother had gone to the camp to look for your father, it had been abandoned, the workers having left hours earlier to the next site.

Broken hearted, your mother had thrown the necklace he had gifted her into the lake and left town, moving to Strawberry and giving birth to you. You had grown up here, made friends, had a few short dalliances with boys here while you grew up.

Strawberry was a small town, but there was a creek running through it, and when you had free time, which was not often these days, you loved to follow the creek to a waterfall and watch the water. You always felt an affinity with the water, felt like it always pulled at your very soul. You had learned how to swim with ease; your mother had said you were like a fish.

Your father explained why he had left, and why he had finally come back.

"I am a Dragon," he had said. "Great-great grand-nephew of the Dragon King of the North Sea."

He was an immortal creature, drawn to the belief of his people in a foreign land, looking for something to comfort them while they worked in dangerous conditions to make money to send home to their families. He protected them, guided them, and thus, had to follow where they went. When the camp left suddenly, he had no time to say goodbye and was nearly dragged away, the pull of his people’s belief taking him with them.

But now he was free, his people having finished their jobs. They had dispersed, either leaving for China or moving to San Francisco, where other Dragon Gods held domain and took over the belief of his former followers. So he started looking for his long lost love, who still cared for him deep in her heart, and traced the thread of emotion leading back to her.

He promised to take care of you and your mother from now on, and he made good on his promise. For the past five years, he had worked alongside the two of you, making your small farm plot healthy and fertile.

It helped that he could make the sky rain whenever you needed it.

He had also trained you in your small powers. Because you had been untrained for so long, your powers were weak, but over time, and with practice, they grew steadily stronger. You could breathe underwater. You could swim faster than humanly possible. And while you couldn't transform into a dragon, your hair became teal and your skin could shift into a bluish-grey tint. It was a bit unsettling the first time you did it in the mirror.

But your most favorite power of all was the ability to shape nearby water to your will. At first, you could only move a small amount of water in a mug. But over time, you could move water in pitchers, basins, buckets, barrels, and even water troughs for animals.

At this point, if you entered a pond, you could easily create ripples and small waves just by focusing on your energy and sending it outwards from you.

Five years had passed since he had come back, and you had learned so much. Your life was so peaceful now that it came as no surprise when your parents announced that they wanted to move back to their hometown. Of course something had to change; that was the only constant in life, after all.

But you didn’t want to leave. You loved Strawberry. This was your home.

Your father had let out a breath, then smiled, much to your surprise.

“Owanjila does not have a spirit to guard it, since it’s a new body of water. Perhaps… you can become its guardian.”

“But I’m half-human,” you had said.

“So is Owanjila,” he said.

You nodded and smiled. Now you knew why he had been training you so hard all these years.

***

Arthur was pleasantly relaxed for the first time in a long time. He had spent all day fishing and gathering herbs after he set up a small campsite tucked away in the thicker part of the forest. It was quiet on this side of the lake, since all the travelers would go across the dam to take in the scenery. He was glad he picked a spot that was farthest from, for he didn’t have the energy to even say hello.

With a couple of large fish, he made his way back to his campsite, cooked up a fine meal with his freshly picked herbs, and spent some time writing and drawing before looking up at the stars before he fell asleep, the campfire quietly dying as his snores melded with the rest of the night.

***

It had been three months since your parents had left you here. They had sold the small farm and used the money to help you fix up a small abandoned fishing cabin out here on the far side of the lake, where you could hunt and gather on your own, trading furs and fish in town. Ever since you had become the guardian, the fish had spawned much more frequently and grew faster than normal, keeping you well fed. You figured it was a side-effect of the lake having a guardian spirit now.

You looked at your hands; yesterday, you had tripped on a step as you walked back from town, getting some small cuts on the palms of your hands as they had scraped against the gravel. Today, they had healed so quickly that there were no scars; you had never healed so quickly before. You wondered if your powers were growing and had walked into town earlier today to send a letter to your folks, letting them know what had happened.

It was late; the moon was high in the sky, and as bright as the electric lights in St Denis. You were roused from your sleep by the pull of the moon, and knew that it was time.

You took off your clothes and set them on your front porch. Walking to the water’s edge, you slipped into the water without a sound, the liquid embracing you as if you were an old friend.

“Hello, Owanjila,” you whispered as you walked deeper and deeper until you were completely submerged. Then you transformed, your skin turning bluish-grey, your hair shifting to a beautiful teal, and your gills appearing near your collarbone. You kicked your legs and swam gracefully through the water, spinning and twirling as you joyfully moved through the water as easily as you could walk on land.

Once you reached the middle of the lake, you bolted upwards, your legs kicking in unison with such speed and power that you broke the surface easily, your body shooting into the air. You let out a whoop of excitement, for it was only during full moons that you could fly this high out of the water; you had certainly tried other times. For a moment, the starry sky and the bright moon seemed impossibly close, and you held out your hands as if you could gather them all up and hold them tight forever.

Flipping backwards, you extended your hands in front of you and dove back into the water with barely a splash.

***

“Huh, whuzzah,” Arthur muttered as he was jolted awake by the sound of someone yelling. Immediately on alert, Arthur reached for his pistol and carefully made his way out of the tent, looking around. Seeing nothing but trees and rocks after circling his campsite twice, he was about to go back into his tent.

Another yell echoed through the trees. It didn’t sound like anyone in danger, more like… elation?

His curiosity piqued, he quietly made his way towards the lake, following the sounds of the water sloshing around as if someone was swimming. Coming to the shoreline, he saw the full moon, reflected in the water, with ripples circling from the center of the reflection.

Unable to stop himself, Arthur found a nearby rock and climbed it to better see the center of the lake. Squatting down, he peered out at the water.

Something shot out of the water at breakneck speed, surprising him enough that he fell onto his ass.

For a split second, he saw everything clearly.

He saw her nude form, water glistening off her skin, the moon bathing her in a silvery light. He saw the look of ecstasy on her face as she looked up at the moon.

He saw her eyes as they met his.

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat.

Then she was gone, diving back into the water like an arrow, hardly disturbing the surface.

Sitting up, he crawled to the edge of the rock and peered at the spot, waiting for her to return. Part of him wondered if he had imagined it, and part of him hoped she was real. He had felt like he had seen something so evanescently ephemeral that his heart fluttered like a child seeing fireworks. He wanted to experience that sparkling feeling again and again.

When his knees ached and his joints complained, he finally gave up, climbed off the rock, and returned to his tent. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but it didn’t come quickly as his heart continued to race. When he finally managed to nod off, his dreams were filled with a mysterious woman with an expression so filled with euphoria that he could almost taste her joy.

***

You were mortified. A man was camping around your lake and you hadn’t noticed? Granted, you were in town most of the day trying to sell some rabbit pelts, and then you had written your letter at the post office since you had run out of ink and bought some at the general store and didn’t want to walk all the way back to your cabin.

But still, you hadn’t noticed. You supposed it was because he had no ill intent. It wasn’t that you could sense people, that wasn’t how your power worked; it was more you could feel out harmful intentions. People who came and went on the dam were usually harmless tourists and you took no notice of them. But occasionally that greedy mayor would come up here and consider building some cheap cabins out on the lake as tourist traps, and you would cause the lake to be extra choppy that day, splashing water on him if you were nearby. It was usually enough to change his mind.

You stayed at the bottom of the lake, waiting long enough before you slowly swam up again, moving towards the edge of the lake before you poked your head up from the water.

He was gone.

You sighed in relief and swam back to your cabin, looking around once more before getting out and back onto your porch. Grabbing your clothes, you got inside and dried off, thinking of the man’s shocked expression.

But what came to your mind most of all was that in the moonlight, you had managed to make eye contact. In that moment, your heart had pounded like you had seen something beautiful.

Despite your embarrassment at being caught naked and in your half-dragon form, you wanted to see him in the daylight. You wanted to find out who he was, and why your heart had finally moved after all these years.

***

Arthur came out of his tent, bleary eyed as he yawned. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of sleep, but he was, for better or for worse, used to it. The sound of a crackling of a fire and the sight of a figure sitting with their back turned was also something he was used to.

Until he realized that the fire had gone out last night and he had come to this place alone. Reaching for his pistol, he stopped when he heard her speak.

“I mean you no harm.”

Arthur, suspicious, for people who had said that to him before often would turn around and shoot him, put a hand on his pistol, but left it in its holster. Coming out of his tent and rising to his full height, he walked around to face the woman at his campfire.

When she looked up at him, he felt like he was hit with an arrow.

Those same eyes from last night met his, and he felt like the whole world slowed and became silent. All he saw was her, and he didn’t care about anything else.

***

His eyes were beautiful, like gemstones sparkling in the morning light. His hair was tousled from sleep, but it made you think of him in bed next to you. You swallowed. Why were you thinking of waking up next to him? You barely knew him!

But you couldn’t ignore the heat in your veins as your eyes traveled down his body. His very tall, muscular body. Oh gods, you felt your heartbeat quicken as you suddenly had a mental image of him climbing over you, his naked body above yours, his big hands holding your hips as he thrust—

“Can I help you, miss?” the man finally asked, his voice rough from sleep. His voice was like whiskey, flowing smoothly over your body and making you burn with need. He swallowed, and you watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. Oh, to lick that sun-kissed skin…

You shook your head, both in answer to him and to clear the lustful images from your head. “I’m alright, I just wanted to share your campfire.”

***

“Oh?” Arthur asked, sitting down beside her to hide his body’s reaction to meeting her eyes. When he had met her gaze, he was hit hard with desire, the sudden image of her beneath him, legs spread, her expression of ecstasy for him and him alone.

For a brief moment, he wanted to take her, to guide her to the ground and thrust wildly inside of her like an animal.

But instead he reeled himself in; he wasn’t that kind of man. He didn’t even know why he had such a visceral reaction to her. All he knew was that she was sitting here with him now, and she was beautiful. When she turned away, he felt like he was suddenly lost, and wished for her to look at him once more with those mysterious eyes. He observed her as she poked the fire with a stick, wondering what she was thinking.

“So, uh, you live around here?” he asked, berating himself immediately for such an awkward question.

“I do, just down the shoreline,” she replied.

“Oh.”

She turned to meet his gaze, and he felt it once more. A pull, stronger than any he had ever known, as if she was hypnotizing him with just one look. Unable to stop himself, he leaned in closer, her lips beckoning him.

“What are you doing?” she asked curiously.

The spell broken, Arthur quickly leaned back and sputtered, “I, uh, I don’t know, to be honest.”

The woman smiled at him, and he felt his entire world light up with fireworks.

“What’s your name?”

“Arthur.”

“Nice to meet you, Arthur.”

She told him her name, and he repeated it just so he could say it out loud. He loved the way her name rolled off his tongue. He had shivered with desire from the way she had said her name.

“So you saw me last night,” she said after a few moments.

He smiled nervously as guilt wracked him. “Uh, yup. I’m sorry, I didn’ mean to peek.”

“It’s alright, I should’ve been more careful,” she said, a wry grin on her face. “Usually no one camps here.”

Silence stretched between them as Arthur wondered what he should say, if anything.

She brought up her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. “And there’s not much to look at anyway,” she said self-deprecatingly.

“You were beautiful,” he blurted out suddenly. He couldn’t believe she’d think that. He wanted to burn the sight of her coming out of the water into his memories so he’d never forget.

She turned her head to look at him, and he felt the pull once more, but it was tinged with melancholy. It made his heart clench. He reached out and put an arm around her, pulling her into his chest, desperate to ease the pain. “Yer beautiful,” he repeated.

***

Surrounded by warmth, you sank into his chest and breathed in his scent. His natural musk, layered with balsam and leather, was soothing to you, made you feel safe and protected. No other man had affected you like this. Was this how your parents had fallen for each other? Was it an instant attraction?

You had been taught to follow your instincts, and something about this man made you want to keep him forever. To hold him tight and never let him go.

So you reached back out to him, wrapping your arms around his broad torso. Looking up at him, meeting his surprised expression, you leaned forward and kissed him. His lips were chapped but pliable as you pushed forward, pressing your body against his.

You were met with a startled grunt. He let you go and backed away, like a shy lady from an all too amorous man.

“Y-you barely know me,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper.

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking back on yourself. Maybe you misread him, maybe he was just saying you were beautiful to make you feel better. Maybe you were just lonely and wanted to connect with him, the first man who had made you feel something in years.

“Look,” he said, leaning forward again, “it’s not that I don’t want to, I just think, well, maybe we git to know each other a bit more first before, uh, well…” He trailed off, gesturing blandly.

You laughed. Of course. He was shy. Standing up, you reached out to him. “Will you stay a while? My cabin is small but it’ll protect you from the elements better than your tent. And it’ll be warmer at night too.”

Arthur stared at your hand for a moment before standing up on his own. “Alright. I’ll pack up first.”

***

Arthur wasn’t sure how he was convinced to stay in a cabin with a woman he hardly knew, but every time he met her eyes, everything else fell away and all he wanted was to be with her.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, maybe a few days, maybe weeks. But he had never been so content to just fish and hunt and spend time with his sweet lady. He learned about her parents, who had been small-time farmers near Strawberry before they moved to her mother’s hometown, leaving her to live on her own. When he had asked why, she had said it was because she loved it here and didn’t want to leave.

He understood why; after the first few days of just roaming the land, living off its bounty, he was quite content to just stay and forget his troubles. She would go into town and sell his furs and pelts, and when he wasn’t hunting, he would help upgrade her little cabin, fixing up small things here and there to make her more comfortable.

He had insisted on sleeping on his bedroll on the floor beside her bed, at least for now. He felt like he was working up the courage to bed her, even though she clearly had given him an open invitation to her bed.

Every night he thought about it.

And every night, he trudged to his bedroll and slept beside her bed like a faithful pet dog.

***

14 days had passed. The new moon would be out tonight, and you were itching to go for a swim.

But with Arthur here, you hesitated. He had seen you that first night, sure. But he hadn’t seen you clearly. He hadn’t seen your skin and hair color change, your gills at your collarbone, your preternaturally fast swimming.

As you stood at the end of your little fishing dock that was connected to the porch of your cabin, you sighed. Watching the setting sun streak its beautiful orange rays across the water, you internally debated if you should show him so you could freely act as the guardian once more. You had been feeling stifled as of late, only able to use your powers while he was out hunting, and only in secret in case he might come out of the forest at any given time.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?”

You smiled. He had started calling you his darling or his sweetheart after a week of gentle caresses as he walked by, or even a casual kiss on the cheek as you went into town on an errand. No matter how much he said it, you melted every time. It was endearing and charming to you, even though they were simple words. The way he said them, the love and care he put into those pet names, was everything you wanted to hear.

Turning to Arthur, you saw that he was dressed in his usual blue shirt and black ranch pants, looking concerned. Seeing the care he had for your well-being made you come to a decision. He deserved the truth of you.

“I need to show you something.”

***

Arthur swallowed as his sweet lady began to disrobe right there on the dock. He was shocked to a standstill, unable to move as he saw every inch of beautiful skin exposed to his view. His pants grew tight, his throat dry, and his internal instinct to protect surged through him.

“Darlin’, what’re you…”

He couldn’t utter another sound as he watched her usual skin shimmer and then shift to a blue-grey tint. Her hair became teal colored, and slits appeared above her collarbone.

“Gills,” she said as she pointed at them, shrugging shyly. “I’m a dragon spirit. Or half of one.”

Arthur could only nod in both shock and awe. He had suspected she was hiding something, but he would have never guessed it was something like this. He took in her form, human and yet not, familiar and yet bizarre. But still beautiful, wonderful, her.

“Do… do I disgust you?”

“No!” Arthur said, quickly taking two steps to stand in front of her. “Yer still the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”

Seeing her smile shyly and look away, his need to assure her only grew stronger. “That why you could swim so good?” he asked, reaching up to caress her neck, right above her gills.

She nodded again.

“What’d you mean by half?” he asked, curious.

“My father, he was a dragon, the great-great grand nephew of the Dragon King of the North Sea.”

Arthur nodded. “Oh. Okay then.” He didn’t understand what that meant, but it sounded a bit important.

She tittered. “I don’t really know how important that is either,” she said, answering the unspoken question. “But I can swim real fast, breathe underwater, and I can control water a little bit,” she said, her excitement growing with each word. She turned to the water and put out her hand.

Ripples started to appear, and they grew into small waves, rolling across the surface of the lake.

She turned back to him, a happy glow to her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re not disgusted by me.”

“I’d never be,” he replied, pulling her into his arms. His gaze traveled along her face, admiring her hair color, her bluish-grey skin, and the gills at her neck, before looking at her smile, full of self-confidence. She was radiant and it made her all the more alluring.

“You’re beautiful, no matter what.”

***

This time when you kissed Arthur, he kissed you back, unafraid, bold, confident. He quickly took over, his fingers gripping the back of your head as he pulled your body closer to his. You felt the rough fabric of his shirt sliding along your sensitive nipples and moaned softly.

He suddenly wrapped one arm around your waist and one around your ass before picking you up with ease.

“I need you darlin’,” he murmured before turning from the dock and walking determinedly towards your cabin. He maneuvered you inside and shut the door, not wanting any interruptions. Laying you down on the bed, he stepped away to light the lantern before returning to you, taking off his hat and flinging it aside.

You shifted back to your human colors, your gills disappearing.

“Yer magical,” Arthur whispered before resting his forehead against yours and closing his eyes, a wry grin on his face. You kissed him back, smiling in return, acknowledging his silly word choice and accepting his sentiment for what it was: a compliment. He shared your gaze for a few moments before kissing you back as he unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it open while he climbed over you. You could feel his impatience as he pressed his bare chest against yours, his kisses heating up and becoming demanding.

“Arthur,” you breathed as he moved down to kiss your neck, his lips tracing lines where your gills had been.

“Why’d I wait this long,” he muttered, mostly to himself, as he ran his fingers from your hip up your belly. His touch was feather-light, almost ticklish as he skimmed the underside of your breast before tracing circles around your areola.

You writhed, whimpering softly. He looked at you, keeping his gaze locked with yours as he leaned down and took your nipple into his mouth.

"Oh, yes," you moaned as his tongue played with you, distracting you just long enough for his other hand to caress the inside of your thighs. You parted your legs eagerly.

You felt Arthur smile against your skin before he switched to your other breast, giving you the same pleasure as his hand slid between your legs, his fingers exploring your slit.

"This honey fer me, darlin'?" he asked in a low, husky voice.

"All for you," you whispered.

He let out a soft growl of satisfaction before dipping a finger inside of you. Your hips lifted up towards his touch. Moving away from your breast, he kissed his way up your neck, to your cheeks, then to your lips once more. He took his time tasting you, his tongue languidly caressing yours as his fingers delved inside of you, his thumb brushing against your bud, each stroke driving you higher and higher towards your peak that was approaching rapidly.

You moaned his name, muffled as it was by his mouth on yours. He growled in return, pumping his fingers faster, his thumb stroking you with determination.

"Ah, ah, Arthur!" you cried out as you climaxed. As you felt the pleasure zip through your veins, you buzzed with power for a moment before it faded.

You didn't have time to think about it, for Arthur climbed off the bed and took off the rest of his clothes. He was such a big man, with muscles from hard work, scars from a rough life, and a dangerous grace to him. He had power and knew how to use it.

And right now, he wanted to make you release over and over again.

He climbed over you, just like in your fantasies, and spread your legs, wrapping them around his waist. Taking his hard length in his hand, he slid the tip around your entrance, slicking himself up as he watched you tremble beneath him.

"You sure 'bout this, darlin'?" he murmured, a slight tremor in his voice, as if he was holding back. He didn't stop sliding the head of his cock along your slit, up and down in a slow rhythm.

"Yes, yes please Arthur, just take me!" you begged. He was driving you mad with his gentle strokes. You lifted your hips up, causing the tip of him to slip inside.

"So needy, sweet girl," he crooned before he pushed forward, driving himself deeper inside of you.

You writhed and winced as your body stretched around his girth. He was sweating, holding himself steady as he waited for you to regain your breath before inching forward some more. Patiently, Arthur watched your every reaction, taking great care to control his movements until his hips finally came flush with yours.

He murmured your name, his lips brushing against yours before he kissed you. His hands cradled your face as he grinded against you, the heat of his body warming you up like a thick quilt. Deepening the kiss, he angled your head so he could devour you. A low moan escaped him as his hips shifted, building a steady rhythm of short thrusts.

"More, Arthur," you said when he finally let you take a breath.

"I'll give you whatever you need," he replied before lifting himself up, letting the cool air touch your body. He pulled his cock out almost all the way and waited for an eternal moment while he stared into your eyes, the lust blowing out his pupils.

Then he slammed back inside of you.

Your pleasure-filled yell was stopped short by Arthur's swift uptick in pace. He was hammering his cock inside of your tight, wet channel, and he couldn't get enough. Not saying a word, he only moaned and panted as he drove into you relentlessly, taking just a split second to adjust his angle before continuing.

"So good," he moaned before he got up onto his haunches, taking your hips in his big hands, his fingers digging into your flesh as he fucked you like a man possessed. He growled, a feral sound of pleasure, before he reached down and stroked your clit.

"Need… to… see… you… let go…" he panted.

You tightened your legs around his waist, meeting his thrusts with your own enthusiastic motions, reaching for your breasts and playing with your nipples before him.

"Oh darlin', you look so pretty like that," he grit out, his face contorted in an effort to control his desires. He was so close. So very close.

"Give me everything!" you gasped, your body shaking, on the edge of a precipice so high that you almost felt fear.

Feeling your body grip him so tightly, Arthur let out a passionate shout before he spilled inside of you. His eyes were wild as he stared at you, his mouth open as he drew in breath after ragged breath. He moaned as he thrust one last time before crushing his hips to yours, keeping his shaft inside of you for as long as possible.

As he spent himself inside of you, you felt your core suddenly overflow with ecstasy, your body shuddering as you came around his thick cock. At the same time, your power unleashed, making your body glow a bluish hue.

"Darlin'!?" Arthur panicked, sounding winded, his brow creased with worry.

The power that had unlocked within you gave your vision a strange overlay of colors. And within the warm orange glow of Arthur was a black cloud in his chest. You reached out through the haze of your afterglow and pulled at it.

He gasped and coughed.

You pulled again. Now that you had touched it, you knew it was bad. It needed to get out of his system before it did permanent damage.

Arthur grasped his chest. "What…" he trailed off as he coughed a few more times before you managed to heave out the black cloud from his lungs. You quickly quashed it in your hands.

Looking up at him, you put your hands on his cheeks and kissed him, pouring the last of the glowing power inside of him. On some instinctual level, you knew you had healed him of something. Whether it was an old lingering illness or a new one that was just about to form, it was now gone from his system.

When you finally pulled away, Arthur looked bewildered. For a few seconds, or a few minutes, you weren’t sure how slow or fast time was flowing, the two of you could only stare at each other, lost in that foggy place between dreams and reality.

"What'd you pull outta me?" Arthur finally asked, still a little breathless.

"Something bad. An illness, I think,” you replied. You took a deep breath before squeezing his hand. “Whatever it was, it will no longer hurt you."

Arthur smiled and pressed his forehead against yours. "Thank you, sweetheart."

***

Arthur left a day later, telling you that he'd be back once he had taken care of some people.

You didn't see him for a long time.

Four months passed before you saw him again. He looked ragged, skinnier, as if he had been through hell and back. But when he saw you, he rushed over and fell into your arms, holding you tight as if you were the only real thing in his world.

***

He told you everything. He confessed that he had been the one to help that criminal escape and shot up the town. That he had been chased all over three states with his gang. That he had stolen money from several trains. That he had been on a ship that had sunk and was stranded on an island for days before finding a way back.

He told you about John. He told you about how he had helped him escape the Pinkertons, had ran with him all the way down the mountain before telling him where to meet his family. Then Arthur had set off, the long way around through the wilds of Ambarino so he could lose the men who were chasing him, just so he could get safely back to you.

You saw now that his eyes were unclouded, having seen his world for what it was. You saw pain and regret in his eyes, but you also saw understanding and a clarity that was not there before. He appeared to have finally found wisdom at a heavy price.

After he had told you everything, you cooked him a meal of steamed fish and herbs. He ate quietly, as if his confession had stolen all of his words from him.

He finished his meal and sat in silence for a few minutes before looking towards you. "I ain't a good man—"

You shushed him. "You are more good than not, Arthur," you said. "We all make mistakes. You were just trying to do your best. That's all any of us can do."

Reaching for his hand across the table, you grasped it and pulled it to your chest, placing it over your heart. "Will you stay?"

Arthur smiled hesitantly. "You… still want me?"

You stood up and leaned across the table to kiss him. "I'll always want you, Arthur. I love you."

He kissed you back. When he looked at you, his gaze full of gratitude. "I love you too, my sweet darlin'. Thank you fer believin' in me."

--------------------

End Notes: I had to end it on a sappy note, of course. Hope you enjoyed that little romp with some folklore!

#rdrbigbang2021 #arthur x F!reader #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #rdr2 #fanfic #writing #nsft #lemon fanfic

97 notes · View notes

nerdygaymormon · 3 years

Link

I found this article by Nathan Kitchen, president of Affirmation, to be very compelling.

He identifies 4 generations of gay Mormons that have existed over the past 70 years. Until about 10 or 15 years ago, the Church viewed all LGBT members as having some sort of homosexual feelings that confused gender roles. Consequently, the discussion of generations is going to focus on the treatment of gay members.

The differences in the generations comes from the Church changing what it asks of the gay member and how it manages the existence of this group in the Church. When current practices are no longer considered acceptable to parents and others, the Church changes, thus creating the next generation.

Each generation has a different experience with the Church’s prejudice, harassment, and discrimination.

Nathan doesn’t identify years for each generation, and there aren’t clean breaks between one generation and the next, they bleed into each other, but I’ll put my rough estimate for each generation.

————————————————————

1st Generation (1950~1980) - The Church believed anyone could develop gay feelings and attractions, these were sinful and Church required complete rejection of these attractions. Failure to completely erase these feelings was grounds for discipline and expulsion. The church schools and most LDS families would also eject the queer person from their midst, they feared the spread of these attractions to others. Attempts to remove these “tendencies” included electro-shock therapy at BYU. Spencer W. Kimball’s book the Miracle of Forgiveness dominated Church thinking on queer topics in the era.

This is the generation that spans the most decades and consequently is the largest generation of queer Saints. This generation was taught their attractions could change if they wanted it bad enough. The violence and hostility against these individuals caused a great deal of trauma and many perished. After breaking these people, the Church washed its hands of them by ejecting them from membership, therefore removing the need to deal with the consequences of its actions in those lives.

2nd Generation (1980~2000) - Rather than insist on complete erasure of homosexual feelings (the church thought all queer identities came down to homosexuality), it employed the idea of secrecy and to act like heterosexuals. This is the invisible generation because their bishops told them to never tell anyone else. This group felt isolated and alone, hidden from other members and each other. This invisibility allowed other members to believe there were no gay people in the Church, certainly not in their congregation. This generation was encouraged to enter mixed-orientation marriages, have kids and live like a straight person and everything would be alright. If it didn’t work out, then you weren’t strong enough.

These members served in Young Women’s, as bishops, Relief Society presidencies, on the High Council, and so on. Some of them still exist in the Church, hidden from everyone because the cost of coming out is so high and the shame they have about their attractions (the Church didn’t distinguish much between feelings and actions, so these people feel bad for things they’ve never done). Every so often, we’ll hear about a former mission president or stake president who finally comes out after decades of living as a straight person.

Most of the mixed-orientation marriages failed, the queer person eventually spoke their truth, picked up the pieces of their shattered dreams, and moved on. When it became clear that a straight marriage with a straight spouse didn’t fix them, the Church moved on, usually offering support to the divorced straight spouse and rejecting the queer spouse.

3rd Generation (2000~2015) - The Church decided gay thoughts aren’t a problem, but gay actions are. The Church encouraged people to use the term “same-sex attraction (SSA)” as a way to avoid queer identities that’s don’t fit in the Church’s view of God’s Plan. Basically, we’re all straight people and some of us are struggling with unwanted attractions. SSA was compared to addictions. Queer people no longer had to remain hidden, so they found each other and attended conferences together and encouraged each other. Members would admire you for your wrestle against SSA.

Being unable to ‘overcome’ their SSA was distressing. Although the Church no longer officially endorsed mixed-orientation marriages, many local leaders still encouraged these but with full disclosure to the straight spouse, even though these couples don’t really understand what they’re signing up for. Many queer people turned to conversion therapy to change (usually not knowing there was no evidence these programs worked or were even based in proven techniques or methods, and resulted in higher suicide rates & mental health issues).

Because they were trying to make this path work and were admired for it, these queer members mostly didn’t share their struggles & mental health challenges with their family, friends, or other members. Unlike the 2nd generation, they were visible, but largely were kept silent. A generation seen but not heard.

4th Generation (2015~present) - Instead of being required to change their orientation, or keep it secret, or to nobly struggle against their inner core, today’s generation is told it’s okay to identify as gay, lesbian and bisexual. There’s nothing wrong with your attractions. We want you at church, there’s a place for you here. You belong. We celebrate you by sharing videos and publishing books about single, celibate members who are gay and bi. We reject conversion therapy, no violence, no denying identities, no encouraging mixed-orientation marriages. We celebrate you...as long as you are single & celibate.

We have many gay couples who think they’re loved enough and belong enough that they attend church together, they sit together, they’re dating and things seem okay. Once they marry, the swiftness & ferocity with which their leaders take action against them is stunning. The couple finds the warm, fuzzy messages of belonging actually hide a structure that’s still as prejudiced and discriminatory as the past. What is their place in the Church...they’re allowed to attend as visitors.

This approach held onto a lot of families, but increasingly it’s not enough. As the queer child grows up and becomes interested in love and relationships, church no longer works. And if church is not welcoming and affirming of their queer child, more and more entire families exit with them. Generation Z grew up with queer friends and many cite the Church’s treatment of LGBTQIA+ people as a reason they are leaving the Church.

————————————————————

As society changes and becomes more accepting, the Church has to change how it treats its queer members. What was acceptable in the 1970′s is now looked at with horror and revulsion. Today’s parents would never subject their child to electrical shocks or induced nausea, how barbaric.

The changes the Church has made is in how it treats the gay member, not in how it views them nor in what it preaches about them. They’re still absent from God’s Plan, or as I prefer to put it, absent from the Church’s version of God’s Plan. Because the Church has not substantially changed how it views queer people, it’s going to continue to find how it treats queer people will fail.

The Church treats queer members far better than it did in the past, but until it actually embraces queer members, listens to their voices and what they want, the Church will adjust, and adjust again. Not hating us is not enough, the Church must learn to love us.

#nathan kitchen #long post

36 notes · View notes

idy-ll-ique · 3 years

Text

Solitude.

Pairing: Loki x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Requested: by @hotsauceonabiscuit

AU where Loki owns a bookshop. Asgardians have found safety in norway I’d have a feeling he’d want to be somewhat distant because of everything. The solitude and occasional judgement of patrons would be enough or so he thought until the reader steps inside for the first time.

Warnings: None

Summary: A few years after the final battle, Loki is doing well in Norway having opened his own library on the outskirts of the new Asgard. He barely has any visitors and he is content with the life he is living. What happens when he meets Y/N, one of the maids working for Valkyrie?

Author’s Note: Hey peeps, I’m back! Thank you for the prompt, @hotsauceonabiscuit, I really enjoyed writing this. I hope you like it, sorry I’m posting it so late! Please read and enjoy, everyone :)

Y/H/C - Your Hair Colour

Y/E/C - Your Eye Colour

---

The bell above the door rang, alerting Loki that someone was in his library. Loki had been a librarian ever since Thor and Valkyrie established a new Asgard in Norway. Thor was off with the Avengers, while Valkyrie became their new ruler.

He was tired of the royal life, which is why he opened a library on the outskirts of the city. He had customers, yes, but a very low number of them. Most of them were repetitive. As he stood in the aisle, wondering who it could be, a soft voice rang throughout the place.

"Hello? Is anyone here? I'll come later if the place is closed." This was someone he had never heard before. Blinking, he walked over to the receptionist's desk to see a petite woman standing there, looking around the place in awe. She had Y/H/C hair and a very, very pretty face.

"Excuse me." She averted her eyes from the aisles and looked at him. "Oh, your majesty! I didn't know you owned this place," she chuckled nervously, looking at him with anxious eyes. "Who are you?" he found himself asking, feeling an emotion he hadn't felt in a long time.

"My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I work with Her Majesty at the castle. Um, do you have any fiction books? You know, mortal fiction," she stammered. A smile lifted his face. "Follow me." He heard her heaving a sigh of relief as she followed him.

"This is a very nice place," she commented, "You must have tons of people swarming the library! I mean, look— the neatly arranged aisles, all genre-sorted… if I could live here, I definitely would." He laughed softly at her words. "You're very welcome, my flat is upstairs," he winked, which made her blush. Even that was adorable.

"Here you are, mortal fiction," he declared as they stood alone in an aisle. "Thank you! Will it be okay if I stay here to read? I'm on a break and I really don't want to spend it at the castle." He frowned at her words. "You're very welcome to stay, miss. Why not at the castle, if I may ask?"

"The other servants there are very, very boring. They don't like books and I can't hold a conversation with any of them." He laughed once more at her honesty. "I used to face the same problem growing up. No one around me was as invested in books as I was." Both of them shook their heads.

"My father and mother used to both work with the All-Father. He was in the army and she was Her Majesty Frigga's maid. I come from a peasant family and therefore, have no access to the royal library. Still, my mother somehow managed to bring books home and that's where my love for them began."

He nodded attentively at her words, glad to have finally found someone who loved solitude and books as much as he did. "That's a brilliant story, darling. Well, I'll leave you alone now, have fun reading. I'll be at the receptionist's desk if you need anything."

"Thanks a bunch, Your Majesty," Y/N grinned at him, clutching the book to her bosom. "Loki will do, Lady Y/L/N," he smiled back. "Same, you can call me Y/N."

With that, Loki left her side and walked back to the receptionist's desk. Y/N found a cozy couch in between two aisles and sat down, getting into her favourite reading position— curled against one corner of the couch, legs pulled up to her chest.

There was silence in the small library afterwards. Y/N sat reading her book, which was the second installment of a book series she started with a month ago. She couldn't find the book anywhere, until one of her coworkers had spoken about there being a library on the outskirts of the city.

She had decided to try her luck here, actually being successful. Loki looked up from his work, distracted by Y/N's presence. Where had he heard the last name before? Y/L/N. His eyes suddenly widened with realization. That's right! Her father was the army and was good friends with Thor. That's where he knew the last name from!

He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to keep himself from groaning. Why was Y/N so captivating? A few hours passed before he heaved a huge sigh and got up, giving in to his mind's requests.

Ask her out for a coffee.

Looking around the place, he finally found her seated on his favourite couch, attentively reading the book. "Y/N?" Startled, she looked up. "Oh, Loki, sir. What brings you here?"

"Just came to check on you. Enjoying the book?" he asked, giving her a strained smile. Just ask her out, Loki, what could go wrong? "Very much! I read the first one a month ago, couldn't find the second one after that. Your library is awesome!" she gushed, grinning. He nodded with appreciation.

"How long does your break last?"

At that, her eyes went comically wide. "Oh no, my break time ended an hour ago!" she panicked, bolting upright. "Let me walk you back to the castle," he offered, surprising himself. "I would love that, thank you. Mind if I take the book back with me? I promise I'll return it tomorrow."

"Yes, you may keep the book, Y/N. Come." The two left the library. As they walked, Y/N resumed reading the book. Loki glanced at her, a small smile blooming on his face. She looked adorable as she disregarded the world around her, her attention grasped by the book.

How did he get attached to her so quickly?

A few meters ahead, Loki noticed a puddle in front of Y/N. He pulled her in by the waist, making her walk around the puddle. She glanced at him, then at the puddle next to her. "Thanks," she whispered, blushing furiously.

Y/N also liked Loki. Had liked him for nearly 15 years in mortal time. She was a teenager when her father had taken her to the castle to meet the King, the Queen and the Princes. Thor knew her father personally; they fought in wars together, he had a high rank.

As soon as she had taken a look at Loki, she was smitten. She knew it was wrong— a prince and a peasant girl? Pfft, as if. She was sure he didn't even remember her. "You're welcome. Maybe keep the book away?"

"Why would I, if you're here with me?" she mumbled distractedly, burying her face in her book once again. Loki, meanwhile, sported a huge smirk on his face at her words. She did have a point. His arm tightened around her waist and they continued their walk to the castle.

---

"Loki, what are you doing here?" Valkyrie blinked as he walked into the courtroom, looking around. "Nice place," he commented instead of answering her. Wow, he had been away from the castle for nearly 6 years, he realized. She simply raised her eyebrow at him. "Fine," he huffed, "I came to drop someone off."

"Who?" Valkyrie questioned, confused. "One your maids, Y/N. She was at my library during her break time, lost track of time," he answered, leaning against a pillar. Everyone else in the room only stared at him.

"Oh, Y/N, I know her. She loves reading, reminds me a lot of you," Valkyrie chuckled. "You're not mad at her? You know, she took an extra hour of break," he asked slowly. "Of course not. We have a lot of people working here, one person missing isn't going to stop anything," she shrugged.

"You're right about that. Well, I bid you adieu, I must go," he sighed, giving her a resigned smile, "It was good to see you again." She smiled back at him. "Likewise. Goodbye," she called out as he turned to leave.

Outside the castle, he saw Y/N. She was with a few of her coworkers, chatting. "Y/N!" It was now or never. All of them looked at him. "Loki," she greeted just as enthusiastically, waving. He didn't miss the way the others immediately started whispering amongst themselves.

"I need to ask you something," he said quietly, holding his hand out. She took it and he led her away from the group. He didn't let go even when they were in private. "What?" Y/N's blush returned. "Will you go on a date with me?" he whispered, staring intently into her beautiful Y/E/C eyes.

"Oh, Loki, sir, I will be honored," she gasped, covering her face with her hand. Had Loki just asked her out on a date? He wished to court her? "That's brilliant. Why don't we return to the library?" he smirked, bringing her hand to his lips. "But— my work—"

"One person missing isn't going to stop anything," he shrugged, repeating Valkyrie's words. "Her Majesty might fire me," Y/N expressed worriedly. "She won't, trust me. Shall we?" Well, he was close with her. "Let's go," she chuckled, leaning on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

Her coworkers simply stared at her in shock as the two left without another word, hand in hand. Y/N giggled at their flabbergasted expressions, not believing the fact that she was actually going on a date with the man she had had a crush on for a long, long time.

She was glad she discovered the small library on the outskirts of Asgard.

---

A/N: Please leave a like, thanks for reading!

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x female reader #loki laufeyson #loki fluff #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston x y/n #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston characters #disney #mcu #marvel #avengers #fanfic #writing #writeblr

152 notes · View notes

mnemo-li · 3 years

Text

Calebros: A Rant About My Favorite VTM NPC

I do love the newer Vampire: the Masquerade content, but sometimes the writing leaves a lot to be desired. A prominent example is - what in my opinion is - the butchery of Calebros’ character in Beckett's Jyhad Diary.

While I do love seeing the more brusque side of Calebros’ personality, I don’t think I’ve ever recalled him being this vulgar in the original Clan Novels. He was definitely not dropping the f-bombs left and right, and even his gruff manner had more to do with dry humor, sarcasm, and keeping up the dignified image fit for a clan leader. I do realize that this series of chat is set much after his whole ordeal as Prince of New York is over, so maybe the experience really changed him. However, the in-universe explanation of his drastic shift in personality is lacking– it is most likely the result of a change in writers which led to inconsistent writing and characterization.

Here are some examples of scenes that presents his characterization in a more nuanced light.

Scene 1: The Nictuku Accusation

“They would have eaten me, I tell you!” “I believe you, Jeremiah,” Calebros said in a forced, calm tone. He was tired of nodding politely, of reassuring his clanmate. Jeremiah could be a difficult person to like at times. This was rapidly becoming one of those times. “Don’t you humor me!” Jeremiah snapped. “I’ve been coming to you about this for weeks now.” Seems more like years, Calebros thought. “And still you’ve done nothing. Nothing!” Jeremiah paced around, gesticulating wildly. There was no second chair by Calebros’s desk, and for this very reason. He mostly didn’t like guests, didn’t want guests, didn’t want to encourage them to sit down, to take a load off and stay for a while. Most anyone who had reason or inclination to visit Calebros was irate, complaining, or tiresome. Jeremiah happened to be all three presently. “That is not true,” Calebros assured him. Jeremiah snorted in disgusted. “What, then? Tell me. What have you done?” “I have considered quite carefully your report.” “Ha! Like I said, nothing. ‘Considered my report…’” Jeremiah repeated contemptuously. “This is what I think of you and your reports—” he said, grabbing a handful of papers from the nearest stack on Calebros’s desk. Jeremiah made to fling them into the air— Instantly, Calebros’s hand shot out and latched around his visitor’s wrist. Talons pricked undead flesh ever so slightly. “Believe me,” said Calebros evenly. “You do not want to do that.” They faced each other for a moment, one monstrous creature restraining the hand of another. Jeremiah’s fingers, biting into the papers, were long and grotesquely thin, little more than needles of bone. His entire body was thin and hard and covered with knots, bulging masses of hardened tissue, like an old, gnarled swamp tree. Finally he stopped resisting Calebros and returned the reports to the desk. “I’m sorry,” Jeremiah said and resumed his pacing, just as intently if less frenetically.

This is from the Nosferatu clan novel. Here, Jeremiah is trying to get Calebros to believe that there truly are Nictukus dwelling in the sewers. Calebros is, frankly, tired of hearing the folk tale especially when he has other pressing matters to deal with. Yet, even with his patience paper thin, he does not lash out at his broodmate. He is shown to be deeply introverted, anti-social perhaps, but he does not let his own nature affect his duties. As the Nosferatu primogen - as the leader of the clan - he has to listen to the concerns of his family, no matter how absurd. He knows when to express his authority, and he never abuses it. Again, no f-bombs dropped.

Scene 2: The Salt Lake

“Geez, what am I, your mother?” Emmett asked. “No,” Calebros said. “You are my brother, my broodmate.” “Brood, litter, whatever. We were both chosen to suck the old blood tit, so who am I to ask questions?” Calebros sighed. Blood tit, indeed. “That’s not how you remember it.” Now it was Emmett’s turn to sigh. “Don’t do this. Don’t get all… You always do this, get all touchy-feely we’re-all-brothers-in-the-blood, when you soak your head, blah, blah, blah…” “Make light of it if you will—” “I will. Thank you very much. Got enough salt here?” Emmett flicked some at Calebros.

This is from the Nosferatu clan novel. Here, Calebros has just came up from his meditation within the mud hole / salt lake. He is shown to be introspective and even sentimental. In terms of character voice, his more poised speaking style and inner monologue is contrasted against Emmett’s rough, colloquial style.

Other Sources

In the Calebros graphic novel, a similar scene is shown where Calebros is depicted to be trying and failing to remember his past before he became a vampire, losing his mind as he mixes up imagination with false memories. His inner dialogue in the graphic novel shows him saying:

“Do I tell him that his prince, his... compatriot?, is losing his mind? Never.”

This very much reflects his true nature. In Vampire: the Masquerade, there is a system of nature vs demeanor. According to his character sheet, his demeanor is that of a “director” while his nature is a “martyr (penitent)”.

Director: To the Director, nothing is worse than chaos and disorder. The Director seeks to be in charge, adopting a "my way or the highway" attitude on matters of decision-making. The Director is more concerned with bringing order out of strife, however, and need not be truly "in control" of a group to guide it. Coaches, teachers, and many political figures exemplify the Director Archetype.

Martyr: The Martyr suffers for his cause, enduring his trials out of the belief that his discomfort will ultimately improve others' lot. Some Martyr simply want the attention or sympathy their ordeals engender, while others are sincere in their cause, greeting their opposition with unfaltering faith in their own beliefs. Many Inquisitors, staunch idealists, and outcasts are Martyr Archetypes.

Penitent: The Penitent exists to atone for the grave sin she commits simply by being who she is. Penitents have either low self-esteem or legitimate, traumatic past experiences, and feel compelled to "make up" for inflicting themselves upon the world. Penitent Archetypes aren't always religious in outlook; some truly want to scourge the world of the grief they bring to it. Repentant sinners, persons with low self-esteem, and remorseful criminals are examples of the Penitent Archetype.

All of these quotes, if feel, matches very much with the Calebros I knew from the clan novel saga. Below are also a set quotes detailing Calebros’ inner dialogue in his graphic novel.

“As prince, only I can save them, only I can keep them from looking where they shouldn’t. A force exists underneath this city, sleeping, and it must remain so, lest we all perish.

“Augustin, my sire, left us to investigate the Nictuku, and came back to me with this information. Could this be Gehenna? The Final Nights? When the Ancients awake to devour their errant children? Can it be stopped? Should it be stopped? Everything that is done is a hope of staving off the inevitable. Why?”

“My embrace into this world was a foregone conclusion, made for me by Augustin. It is no different for anyone else. Why then do we not welcome the coming Armageddon? Exchange one world for another. It sounds almost painless, except I would never accept such a course, neither would my fellow Nosferatu. Neither would my fellow Kindred, for that matter.”

He is incredibly contemplative, and determined too, willing to fight against the inevitable apocalypse of the vampires. As long as his clan and the Kindred as a whole does not give up, does not give in the the despair of Gehenna, he too will be willing to fight for the survival of others.

Scene 3: Against a Master Manipulator

The character of Hesha is... complex. I see him as sort of a sweet-talking, cunning, charismatic cult leader. Here is a dialogue between him and Calebros.

“No harm was done,” Hesha said softly, his voice still the slightest bit scratchy from the ordeal he’d undergone. “As you say,” said Calebros, not looking up and continuing to write furiously. “You concede without agreeing.” Hesha laughed quietly. Calebros’s head whipped up. Angry words were ready on his lips, but the Egyptian’s smile was not mocking. The Setite obviously realized the weakness of his position, physically and strategically, as well as the fragility of their alliance. “Candor is important between friends,” Hesha said. “Otherwise, perceived insults take hold and fester.” “I am quite accustomed to festering,” Calebros said curtly. “I fear that I’m growing so as well,” Hesha said, squeezing one of the boils that stood raised about one of his many open wounds until the canker popped, and frothy pus ran down his arm. He laughed quietly again. Calebros punctuated a written sentence with a particularly violent period. “Your woman willfully disobeyed her instructions.” “She exercised discretion,” Hesha countered. “She blatantly disregarded the safety of my people.” “If anything had gone wrong,” Hesha said, “it would be Pauline lying torn on the ground. Your people would have faded into the night, none the worse for wear.” Calebros fumed. Probably Hesha was correct—but the Nosferatu was not about to admit as much. “I will speak with her,” Hesha said reasonably. “She has not encountered those of your clan before. She’s not aware of how strongly your predilection for…” “Cowardice?” Calebros suggested accusingly. “Prudence, I was going to say. She’s not aware of how strongly your predilection for prudence runs.” Good choice of words, Calebros thought. But, then, Hesha always chose his words carefully, always seemed to know just the right thing to say. It was discomforting in a way, how easily the Setite could alleviate tension with just a few words. Go ahead, Eve. Take a bite of the apple. Adam might like some too. But it seemed that they needed one another—and that outweighed their natural and mutual tendencies to distrust one another. Just barely.

Hesha’s actions managed to get under Calebros’ nerves, as seen in his curt speech, his furious writing, his accusatory reply to Hesha. He is angry for the safety of his clan (which, as seen from all the other sources, is something very dear to him). He is even shown to be stubborn, refusing to admit that Hesha was correct. Even still, he keeps his head rather than loose his cool completely. He also realises Hesha’s smooth words for what they are- manipulation. He is willing to compromise and form a sort of alliance with Hesha too, despite of his distrust and personal feelings.

Calebros and Ramona

I found the strange friendship Calebros had with the Gangrel Ramona to be incredibly touching, and tragic due to the turns it took towards the end (which I won’t spoil). Below are some excerpts from the Nosferatu clan novel showing Ramona’s initial meeting with Calebros and his later assessments of her character.

Neither Pauline nor the other girl, Ramona, had been subjected to the full brunt of facing a Nosferatu. Not until now, that is, when they were brought into Calebros’s presence. He did not hide his true appearance from them. And he could read the dismay, the fear and disgust, on their faces. Of the two, Pauline made the worthier attempt, attempt, to maintain her demeanor of professional detachment—perhaps Ruhadze had taught her well. The Gangrel, unsurprisingly, was not so couth. She gawked, both at Calebros and at Hesha in his current condition, and she hid her revulsion quite poorly, if she tried at all. […] Ramona looked at Calebros again, a more measured look this time, trying to see through the deformities. Good girl, Calebros thought. Young and brash, but not stupid.

Ramona reached for a calendar on Calebros’s desk, but tossed it back when she realized it was from 1972. “That’s still a whole month, and nobody knows where Leopold was that whole time. He could have gone back to the cave.” Smart girl, Calebros thought. He was leading her along the same path of reconstructing events that he had followed.

He compliments her intelligence again and again, and seems genuinely fond of her. Which I believe is why, after he became Prince of New York, he allows her a private audience with him to which he offered her a safe passage out of town which she rejects, viewing his actions as a betrayal. Below is an excerpt from what I think is the Clan Brujah novel.

The hunched form stepped forward, leaning heavily against the seatbacks as he came. Ramona kept straining to pick out the sound of broken gasps that must accompany such labored progress, but the air did not stir. "You had requested an audience, my dear. A private audience. I have gone to some pains to secure a place where we might be alone. Privacy is such an indulgence here. All too often, I find myself unable to justify the expense of importing it. And there is always someone else jealous of such decadence. But you have not come to hear of my distractions. Sit here, next to me, and tell me why you have come.”

[…]

“Calebros chuckled low, a sound like an engine turning. "No, I don't imagine you would. I will miss your straightforward style, Ramona. I find it refreshing. But already you know that there is no longer any place for you here. In the midst of battle—against the Sabbat and later, against Leopold and the Eye—we could afford certain marriages of convenience. But these partnerships will not survive the challenges of peacetime. Your associates, Mr. Ruhadze and Mr. Ravana, they found themselves in much the same position. Each has already left New York.”

[…]

“Calebros was silent for a time, letting her wind down. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you with the Eye, Ramona. And I'm sorry you will have to leave us. Believe me, I would like nothing better than to find a place for you here. I will have sore need of people who can be relied upon in the nights ahead. But you know what you would be up against if you remained here— the posturing, the none-too-subtle snubbing, the outright backstabbing. You are a rarity among our kind, Ramona. But because you are different, you will be hated and eventually destroyed if you stay among the society of the damned. Know that I will remember our time together fondly. If I can be of any assistance to you in relocating..." "No, I understand. It's 'thanks for your help; here's your bus ticket.' Well, I don't need any of your favors. I don't like the strings attached to them. And I resent the fact that you think I'm so stupid that I'll let you screw me over and then thank you for it." "Ramona...”

Again, even during his tenure as Prince of New York he is so damn eloquent, I definitely can’t fathom the word fuck ever slipping out of his mouth. He is compassionate, helping Ramona perhaps for future gains too, but mainly I believe he genuinely wants to do something right, give her the happy ending she deserves for once.

Moreover, I have a soft spot for this quote of Calebros pondering about Ramona’s nature, why she’s always so angry at the world, why every word out of her mouth sounds like an accusation. It showcases well his world-weariness, a cynical attitude that hides his concerns for others.

What have you seen that makes you so angry, so bitter, little one? Calebros wondered. Family killed? Have you been betrayed? How many times, I wonder. You’d best get over it, if you hope to survive.

So... yeah. I’d pay money to see an accurate portrayal of Calebros in a newer media otherwise I might have to write my own fanfic pairing my OC with him

#vampire: the masquerade #new york by night #calebros #vtm

37 notes · View notes

we-dragons · 3 years

Text

I'm from a different dimension actually Chapter 5 Damian x reader

Pulled away to another world, Y/N uses magic science and a Little bird to help her get back home and possibly be rid of an apocalyptic event. "So, will you succumb to your doubts completely or step into the sun of this new world?"

" A few days, but I didn't expect the entire week, thank god for Molly." The emotional stress I had felt in the beginning influenced the behavior of the scales on my skin it took more hot water and hydrogen peroxide than I had originally would have needed. Even after all that, my skin was turned ashen and my breath was so shallow that Nightmare could lap from it as if it was his water bowl. The scales I have removed were not ready for healing uses yet, at least not for another three days. Nightmare had remained at my side barely even moving from his spot curled up on the pillow next to mine, the only time he moved is when Molly came over. Molly would drop off the homework, she told me she took the written project to Damian and he was ready to deliver it when it was due in 10 days from now. Molly would come by every day at 4, made sure I and Nightmare ate and rested well, told me about herself self and left. And I thank god I'm feeling better after all of that.

Today was Friday and I still wasn't feeling the best even after she left, Nightmare crawled up onto my lap while I had sat on the couch watching the news. I never liked watching the news but considering that I had an unexpected visitor I had hoped to find out more. I'm not disappointed, Vigilanties that appear in Gotham with the exception of Nightwing who occasionally visited from Blüdhaven the sister city of Gotham, and the character Red Hood an anti-hero who fights for his own needs, he arrived in Gotham a few years ago and became a crime fighter. Then there were the other three, Red robin seen with the dynamic duo Batman and Robin, seen all over Gotham. All of them well known and on the news constantly in a large group even that fight bad guys of all sorts a from a clown, to plant creatures and more.

"Wow their just like them." I feel a wave of nostalgia float over me, I remember what it was like at home. In Minnesota. With the tall evergreens and the marvelous lilacs that mom would grow in our backyard, my family, and friends. Everything at least before all the drama in New York happened. "Dear God, I'm becoming an over-sentimental sad sack I can't think of them now, not yet." I get up from my seat to head to the kitchen Nightmare jumping off me when I hear a knock from my balcony. I continue my walk to the kitchen to peer out at it, I didn't see anything there even so I open it. Nightmare runs out before me hissing at something on the left.

"Nightmare what are you-Oh...." Robin stares at me from the railing of the balcony. He's leaning back on it a scornful look upon his face. Confusion settles in me as I just stare at him.

"Are you sick?" He asks walking to me while doing so.

"Y-yeah I was out too long in the rain." He stops just in front of me.

"Don't you bring an umbrella with you?"

"Not that day," I clear my throat a little. "why are you here?" He pauses as if coming up with the reason shocks even himself. He arches his arm back behind his back, slowly moving his arm out.

"My box! So you did take it," I exclaim grabbing the box tenderly opeining the lid, I smile sadly looking at the glinting scales inside the box. " did they help you." I look back up, his faces move to confusion.

"I stole them from you and you're asking me if they helped me?"

"Well, you also needed it more than me, and I can see it did wonders. Your up and running again." I start hacking for a strait minute and grab onto the railing. I look up to the door moving to pick up Nightmare. "Would you like to come in for some tea," NIghtmare squirms in my arms jumping out when I enter the kitchen from the balcony. I open the cupboard and pull out the only three kinds of tea I have, setting aside the box with the X on it. "There's peppermint, cinnamon chai, and pumpkin if your interested." He stares at me from the entryway.

"No thank you," He says " I need to leave, I wasn't supposed to be here anyway." I set the pot on the stove anyway and pull out the pumpkin tea and my favorite mug with Arab henna designs decorating even the inside. I look back to the outside, he is still standing in the entryway shifting uncomfortably.

"You Know, the fact that you haven't left yet contradicts your own words, Robin." I pour the hot water over my tea while I wait for him to answer. He stirs slightly moving back and forth on his feet.

"I'll come back tomorrow," I spit out my tea.

"What didn't you say you weren't supposed to be here?"

He shrugs pulling a grappling hook from his belt and swang off. If I wasn't feeling so sick and had just spat out some tea causing me to cough some more, I would have gone after him. I just stared out through the night air as the familiar feeling of dread washed over me, I close the door to the outside and look at the box. NIghtmare gave me a look moving the box and pawing the X on the top.

"We can't call him yet, didn't you hear, their back. If I call him now it compromises everything they have worked for," I pick up the box and move over to the couch, Nightmare followed suit, we both laid down, me clutching the box. "We can't do anything yet anyway, it violates the treaty. We have to wait for the first kill."

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

True to his word he came back, he arrived sometime after Molly left, I don't know exactly when he arrived but I know it wasn't long. It was 2 pm when Molly forced meds in my mouth and put me to sleep. It was 2:40 when I heard him clatter in my kitchen nearly killing him with the broom. He was making tea he brought, he told me that he said it works for sore throats, even though it's just lemon juice, water, and honey.

" You realize this is twice you have broken and entered into my home right?" He tsked crossing his arms from his where he is seated across from me.

"The first time was not on purpose."

"I mean you did break my window."

"I crashed through it."

"Pretty sure that there was broken glass I had to pull out of you and sweep off my floor." I laugh for a little bit while he grunts in his seat in front of me.

"Hey why are you here anyway, You dropped off my box, you're healed up why are you back?"

He moves forward resting his arms on the table. "what do you know about the Crows?"

My mug shatters the pieces scattered on the floor, my hands are shaking and that feeling of dread washes over me again.

"Oops sorry, my hands must have slipped even as I'm feeling better I see I didn't recover all my strength, haha..." I stand up to get the broom.

"They killed three people that day," I froze turning to Nightmare who was resting on the counter, his ears are folded back, his hair also standing on end." six were maimed they were monsters that said their names in the third person. They said they are looking for 'the scaled one' and I believe they are looking for you." The air becomes cold around us to a literal point where I can see my breath.

"They drew first blood," The words finally sink in my fears had manifested themselves, I know that I should have guessed it when I saw him but I had hoped they weren't going to be in physical form yet. I rush to my closet pull another box out from the top, a black box big enough to hold a dress, bearing the same markings as the smaller one. I bring it to the table Robin and I are seated at and set it down pulling off the top.

"How much do you know about The Crows already?" I begin pulling out the things inside one by one, recalling their names and what they are for, looking for my com piece.

"That's what I'm asking you, what is all this?"

"They come from an interdimensional planetary void, The Crow where once a proud and advance society until the gave up their freedom for more knowledge, Jal-sein holds their control now. They are dangerous and they are after the very thing that nearly killed everyone on my earth. Ah! Found it!" I move to my living room pushing away my coffee table setting it on the ground making sure there is enough space. Robin had moved up from the kitchen a worried look set on his face.

"What is Jal-sein? What is this other earth aren't you from Minnesota?"

"Yep but here's the thing," I press the silver X on the com and it starts calling, lights flicker in the room from the device as the figure forms."I'm from another dimension actually."

The figure in the holographic com finalizes and I smile at the old man I see.

"Hello Y/N, I suppose they have found you then? It good to see you even in such circumstances?" His voice is grim and shallow, he sounds older than usual and his head is covered with a silver helmet with tubes coming from it.

"Yes, they have, It"s good to see you, Professor X."

40 notes · View notes

ptersparkers · 4 years

Text

boston

summary: as a recurring visitor from boston to the outer banks and one of kiara’s childhood friends, you get to know the pogue gang for the summer. oh, and it seems like jj has a thing for you.

warnings: mentions of alcohol and typos, probably.

a/n: i hope boston doesn’t throw people off because i used it as nickname (i think it’s cute). and im not even from boston. ALSO WTF THIS IS 4K WORDS.

add yourself to my taglist!

this is my gif, please credit if using!

You’re starting to think that coming to North Carolina for the summer wasn’t as fun as you remembered.

The water touched your fingertips as you leaned away from the boat, sticking your hand out to dip it into the cold water. It was too humid for you, for starters. You were used to the colder weather of Boston and often found yourself in long sleeves and jeans with boots with an extra sweater in your car. When it got warm, a pair of leggings and a t-shirt sufficed. North Carolina’s outer banks required swimming suits, shorts, and see-through shirts in order to avoid overheating. That wasn’t exactly your style.

Your parents insisted on having you do something with your summer instead of lounging around and hanging out with people you’d see on a daily basis during the school year. There wasn’t much to do here other than drink and help your relatives on the boat with their fishing company, and the idea of working for free didn’t seem so amazing as it did when you were a child. This was the first summer you’d be spending in the outer banks for the entirety. While you and your parents travelled here for a few weeks, you were the only one staying behind until it was time to go back for school.

In all honesty, you hadn’t recalled much about the place nor the people who lived here. You were aware of the “Kooks” and “Pogues,” and the unofficial war raging between the two groups. What you gathered was that your family lived civilly between the two, not quite in either territory. If you weren’t mistaken, you were welcomed on either side of the island without drawing too much attention to yourself.

Kiara, or Kie, who was your childhood best friend, was the only person you were even remotely close to, and that was overstating it. She resembled the summer camp friend who you barely spoke to until it was time to go away for summer camp. She lived in Figure Eight but hung with the Pogue crowd, from what you understood.

You recalled meeting her for the first time at age eleven, the first time your family had made it a tradition to travel to North Carolina. Your family had wandered to The Wreck, the restaurant her family owned, and became friends because you were the only child in the building and her father had forced her to escape from her shell of a bedroom and spend some time outside. Eleven-year-old you was ecstatic to find another person to spend your summers with, and thus a friendship was born.

“Y/N, you okay there?” your uncle had asked. Pulling yourself out of your daydreams, you whipped your head back and wiped your hand on your shorts.

“I’m fine, Uncle Jim. Just thinking, is all,” you replied. Uncle Jim laughed and pulled the rope from out of the water and asked you to open the ice bin for him to put the fresh fish he had caught.

“Special order for the Camerons,” he explained. “Ward offered to pay me double if we could have this in by this afternoon.”

“So that’s why you pulled me out of bed so early,” you teased. “Mom and dad just left and you’re already putting me to work.”

You closed the ice chest and watched as Uncle Jim put away the cage neatly in the back before wiping his hands on a white cloth towel.

“You know this job like the back of your hand. Might as well put you to good use.”

“Yeah,” you said, sighing. “It’s weird being here without them.”

“Good weird or bad weird?”

You shrugged. “It’s just different.”

“I know you wanted to spend your summer in Boston, but your Aunt Camille and I are happy you’re staying until September.” You smiled and gave him a side hug.

“Yeah, I’m happy to see you two. It’s just that I’m growing up and want to spend time with my friends before we all leave to college, you know?” Uncle Jim started to steer the boat top the main land and nodded.

“I hear ya. Mind dropping the fish off at the Cameron residence after I clean it up?”

You shook your head and watched as the island grew bigger as the boat approached the dock. When Uncle Jim docked the boat, you jumped out and told him you’d be getting a bite at The Wreck, hoping to see if Kiara happened to be working. The door chimed and you could see a few people seated at tables with she was preparing smoothies behind the juice bar.

“You always look like you’re thinking so deeply,” you said, taking a seat at the bar.

Kiara looked up and dropped the banana she was holding and wiped her hand on a towel, the biggest smile painting her lips as she ran behind the bar to embrace you. You laughed and reciprocated, giving her a gentle squeeze as she held you in a near lockdown.

“Two years, Y/N. It’s been two very long years,” she said.

“I wish I could’ve stayed longer last summer,” you said. “My grandpa called us to say my grandma had broken her hip and we flew out the next morning.”

“Is she okay?” she asked.

You nodded. “I think he was just scared but it was probably for the best that we went back home.”

“So I hear you’ll be here for the whole summer, right? I heard our dads talking last night.”

“I can’t tell whether I’m excited about that or not. Happy to be here with you but not happy about working on a fishing boat. You know how sensitive my stomach is.” Kiara laughed and walked back behind the bar, resuming making the smoothie she had halted to welcome you.

“Don’t I know it. Well, when you and I aren’t working we can hang out and I can introduce you to my friends,” she said. “I think you’d really like them.”

“God, I hope so. I’m gonna need friends if I’m going to be here for three months.”

“John B’s kind of like our ring leader,” she explained before turning the blender on. She poured the drink and continued. “He’s kind of like you. A little mischievous but he’s keen for leadership. Pope’s the smart aleck. He knows everything about anything and overthinks when we do something spontaneous.” Kiara gave you a look.

“That’s because my parents were always here!” you said in mock defense, raising your hands.

Kiara laughed. “Then there’s Sarah, who you met before. She’s cool though, not like her Kook friends. We weren’t friends before you left. Then there’s JJ. He’s kind of all over the place and there’s not really a way I can describe him. You just have to experience him for yourself.”

“As long as I have a fun summer without getting in trouble, I think I’ll be fine,” you said.

“Smoothie?” Kiara asked. You nodded and took out your wallet, but she shook her head.

“I’m pretty sure my dad would bite my head off if you paid for anything here,” she said. “Your mom did help advertise for us.”

“How about a tip,” you said, putting a five dollar bill into a glass jar. Kiara rolled her eyes but grinned.

“The Pogues and I are gonna hang out on Pope’s boat, if you wanna come. We’re just gonna hang out and eat, probably.”

“I’ll have to ask my uncle but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it,” you said, taking a sip of your smoothie.

“It really was nice getting to see you again,” Kiara said. “I think you’re probably my only other girl friend, aside from Sarah. God knows a girl needs her time away from testosterone.”

“I’m gonna be at Sarah’s later this afternoon to drop off some fish. I think her dad paid a lot of money for it, and I will never understand that.”

She laughed. “Well with that kind of money, I guess you wouldn’t need to think twice about paying for fish.”

You hopped off of the seat and waved goodbye before heading home.

***

When the sky turned into a shade of deep orange, you double checked to see that your phone was fully charged before slipping on your shoes and grabbing a blanket plus the bag of snacks you had purchased earlier that day. You waved at Uncle Jim and Aunt Camille, promising them you’d be safe with Kiara before you locked the front door and slipped the keys into your bag.

From your recollection, Pope’s boat was fairly large and Kiara told you it would have lights strung up so it wouldn’t be too hard to miss. The dock was quiet with the exception of fireflies buzzing in the air and the faint sound of laughter in the distance.

You could see a group of boys and Kiara lounging around with beer in their hands and you were unsure of how to approach them. Luckily, Kiara saw you in the corner of her eye and rushed down to greet you.

“Thank God you’re here,” she said. “Boys are annoying and I need some company. Here, let me get your bag.”

You handed her the bag and climbed onto the boat, aware of three pairs of eyes following you. Suddenly feeling a little self conscious about yourself, you waved awkwardly at the three boys.

“Don’t be weird, you guys,” Kiara said, rolling her eyes. “That’s Pope. Brains of our operation. You two are more alike, I think.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said, tipping his hat at you.

“That’s John B,” she said as you waved at him. “He’s kinda of like you when you start talking about something you’re passionate about.” You began to blush at how Kiara was introducing you to her friends.

“Any friend of Kiaras is a friend to us,” he said, grinning.

“And that’s JJ,” she said, pointing at the blonde who was too busy looking at you to speak. “He’s, well, JJ.”

He scoffed. “These two get great introductions and I get ‘that’s JJ’?” he asked, using his fingers as faux quotation marks. Kiara shrugged.

“I happen to think I’m great, thank you very much,” he said sarcastically before winking at you. You gave him a soft grin and sat next to her, unfolding the blanket and placing yourself on it.

“And this is Y/N Y/L/N, probably the smartest one out of the five of us. She’s from Boston and comes here every summer with her parents.”

“It’s usually for a week or two to visit my aunt and uncle but this time I’m spending the entire summer here,” you explained.

“Why’s that?” asked Pope.

“My parents thought it would be good to not spend my time indoors and God knows my uncle will put me to work.”

“She’s Jim’s niece,” Kiara said.

John B’s eyes lit up. “Jim’s niece! That’s right, I remember he said you were coming to work for him this summer. He’s such a legend. How he and Camille live between us and the Kooks is beyond me. Love that guy.”

You beamed, opening a bag of popcorn. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

“So how’d you and Kiara meet?” JJ asked.

“We were the only kids in The Wreck when it first opened,” she said. “Dad forced me to go outside and Y/N’s parents forced her to do the same and we just clicked.”

“So what’s Boston like?” John B asked.

“Jesus, one question at a time,” Kiara said, rolling her eyes.

“Cold, for the most part. I live on the edge of the city so I’m between suburban area and the metropolitan. It’s kind of the best of both worlds.”

“Outer banks is a wake up call,” Pope joked.

“It’s really different than what I’m used to, but this is my sixth summer out here,” you said. “And this time I came prepared with the right clothes.”

Kiara bursted out laughing. “When we were twelve, she insisted on bringing sweaters and jeans because that’s all she owned. For two weeks straight she had to borrow my clothes.” The boys chuckled.

“I’m not all that used to wearing shorts,” you said, gesturing to your clothes. “But I guess I like to lounge around in oversized shirts, so it’s a win-win.”

“Beer?” JJ asked, holding a bottle. You shook your head.

“Nah, I’m good. But thank you for offering.” He quirked his eyebrow but put it back in the cooler.

“Damn, I’ve never been off of this damn island,” said John B. “Let alone a big city.”

“It’s great, honestly,” you began, “I feel like I’m unimportant and that leaves me with so much room to grow. Nobody has any real expectations from me because I’m just another stranger. And I’m starting to sound like a cliche.”

JJ chuckled and shook his head. “Not a cliche. It’s nice to get to know someone who’s not from here.”

“God knows the Kooks aren’t welcoming,” said Pope. “But never mind them.”

“Sarah’s not coming,” Kiara said, looking up from her phone. “Said she’s too tired to make the ‘treacherous’ walk.”

“Bummer,” you said, pouting. “I haven’t seen her in so long. She wasn’t at the house when I went earlier.”

“I’m sure you’ll see her soon,” said Kiara.

“Oh goodness,” you said, shivering. “I didn’t think it would be cold tonight.” You rubbed your upper arms with your palms and tried to move to feel some friction.

“Take my jacket,” JJ said, reaching behind him to grab his discarded windbreaker.

“Thanks,” you said softly, a little confused that a stranger would let you wear his jacket.

“Damn, JJ. You’ve got broad shoulders,” John B joked, looking at how big the jacket was compared to you.

“It’s two sizes bigger than I am,” JJ said said, taking a swig of his beer.

“It’s perfect,” you said, looking between JJ and John B. “Thanks, JJ.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said. You looked away to speak to Kiara and didn’t notice JJ checking you out with the jacket you had put on.

“So you think Y/N’s attractive,” Pope said, leaning in and whispering.

“Pfft, what?” JJ asked, shaking his head.

“C’mon, dude. It’s just a matter of time before you and her, you know,” he said, making a crude gesture before laughing. JJ shoved him and laughed along.

“It’s not like that,” he said. Pope raised his eyebrow.

“Oh?”

“It’s not like that either! Jeez, Pope.”

“Whatever you say, man,” said Pope, leaning back and opening another bottle of beer.

An hour had flown by and you yawned, the entire group silently understanding that it was probably too late to stay up. Pope had left ten minutes earlier after his dad had called and promised to see the rest of you tomorrow.

“This was fun,” you said to Kiara, John B, and JJ. “I really like you guys.”

“But I’m the best,” said Kiara, striking a pose that made you laugh.

“And no one’s taking that title away from you,” you replied. You folded the blanket and began to walk off of the boat with JJ offering his hand for you to step down. You took it and noticed how unusually soft they were. You started to walk back to your house before abruptly turning around.

“Oh, JJ! Wait, let me give you your jacket back,” you said, dropping the bag you were carrying. JJ laughed and shook his head.

“Keep it for tonight, Boston. It’ll give me a reason to see you tomorrow,” JJ said. You grinned at the nickname.

“Okay,” you said, picking up the bag you dropped. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” JJ smiled. You could grow to like seeing his smile.

He winked. “See you tomorrow, Boston.”

***

As the weeks went by, you starting to feel disappointed whenever you thought about going back to Boston, which meant leaving your new friends behind. All the adventures you had raked up were memorable ones and it would feel weird not seeing the four rambunctious teens nearly every day.

It was a hot Thursday morning when you sat on the dock. Uncle Jim had given you the rest of the day off after helping him load his cargo, offering to make the rounds that afternoon if you were willing to go to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for that night’s dinner.

You couldn’t help but think about JJ and all the times you two had been near one another. Kiara had made an innocuous comment the prior night before you left her house about how he was much gentler when he was around you and didn’t seem to be as loud as he was when you were there. JJ, she said, was always so outspoken but whenever you were near, it was like he was censoring himself.

You were sure Kiara didn’t mean anything bad by it, but you weren’t really sure how to interpret what she said. You and JJ, aside from Kiara, had hung out the most since you met. You two spent the afternoon together at The Wreck the day after you met him, partially to give him his jacket back and partially waiting for Kiara’s shift to be over. You could feel yourself letting loose and confessed to feeling extremely nervous and self-conscious about meeting Kiara’s friends. JJ reassured you that he (and the others in the gang, of course) really liked you.

He would accompany you home and save you a seat next to him. He’d hold your bag and wait for you if the gang was running ahead. JJ would volunteer to come get you if you weren’t answering your phone and he’d make trips to visit you while you were helping Uncle Jim at work.

If you were being honest, you would be lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t developed feelings for him. It was minor and fleeting, but it was there. The blonde made you blush without having to try too hard and you were sure Kiara knew, but she never said anything. JJ was attentive to you and let you speak when you felt your voice be drowned by someone else.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard running footsteps on the dock, only to turn around and see JJ running towards you. He peeled his shirt off and jumped past you and landed in the water, splashing you in the process.

“JJ, what the hell!” you yelled as he came up for air. He shook his head and wiped his face, grinning at your surprised reaction.

“What a morning, huh?” he said, swimming closer to you. Your legs dangled in the water and he came up, pushing his body upwards to let his arms rest on your lap. “You thinking too hard again, Boston?”

Boston. There was that nickname again. You think you hid your blush pretty well.

“You know I’m always thinking,” you replied.

“Someday I’m gonna get inside your head and know everything you think about when you disappear,” he said. “I’m sure you have a lot of good stories to tell.”

“Maybe so,” you teased. “I was just thinking about how I have a month and a half left before going back home.”

“Don’t think about that,” he said, pouting slightly. “I’ll - we’ll - miss you tons. It won’t be the same until you come back.”

You laughed. “I wish I could bring you guys back with me. I don’t have that many friends I consider close.”

“And you consider us your close friends?”

“I might even say my best friends,” you said with a smile.

“Well, well, well. I’m honored to hear that, Boston. Truly.”

“Why’d you jump into the water, anyway?” you asked.

He shrugged. “It’s a hot morning and the sun is shining. Plus, I got to scare you, which was pretty priceless.” You shoved him back into the water and laughed as he came up with a feigned surprised expression.

“Oh, come on! It was hilarious.”

“You’re so mean to me, JJ,” you said, sticking your tongue out.

“Why don’t you join me? The water’s cool and it’s hot out.”

“I think I’m good from where I’m sitting,” you said. JJ swam closer and caressed your legs before trailing his fingers to your lap, resting his chin on your knee.

“Please?”

It was times like this when you were grateful you developed a habit of putting a swimsuit underneath your clothing. You stood up from your spot and took off your shirt and shorts, slowly dipping in the water beside him.

“Okay, you’re right,” you confessed. “Very refreshing.”

JJ swam closer to you and smiled, finding your hand and pulling it above the water to give it a kiss.

“I’m never wrong, Boston.”

You rolled your eyes. “Okay, keep telling yourself that.”

JJ was quiet for a moment. “You’re so innocent.”

You raised your eyebrow. “Oh? How so?”

“I don’t know. You have a purity to you. Maybe it’s Boston or maybe it’s just that you’re better than us and the Kooks combined.”

“Well, I’m definitely better than the Kooks,” you said. JJ chuckled. He pulled you closer to him to the point where your chests were almost touching.

“I just mean that I don’t know how to act when I’m around you. Usually I’m reckless and an idiot, but I’m not that way when you’re around.”

You frowned. “I don’t ever want you to be anyone but yourself around me, JJ.”

He shook his head. “I don’t think it’s that. I think you pull this calmness out of me. I don’t think I’m not being myself when you’re around. I just think that I’m much more of a person than ‘reckless’ JJ who gets into too much trouble.

“What I’m trying to say is,” he began with a deep breath, “I like you. As in, more than a friend. John B and Pope have been teasing me about it all summer but I never took it seriously until you talked that Kook’s ear off about not being a racist and sexist piece of shit.” You took a moment to recall and laugh at the memory. “There’s never a moment where I don’t want to be with you or tell you things. I’ve never felt this way with anyone before, honestly.”

“JJ,” you said softly, your hand giving his bicep a squeeze in reassurance. “You know, I’ve been overthinking these past few weeks. Last night, Kie said something about how you were so aware when I’m around and how you’re less reckless and I didn’t know what to make of it.”

“I just,” said JJ, “I like you a lot. More than I thought I did.”

You looked into his gaze and his arm wrapped itself around your waist, pulling you closer so your chests were touching. The sound of the waves was the only noise in the vicinity and the sun made JJ’s eyes look more impeccable than they already were. His lips were plump and you noticed he had stolen a glance down to yours, squeezing the small of your back as if to ask for silent permission. You inched your way closer and he followed suit until his lips had landed gracefully on yours as if it had belonged there all along.

His skin was hot under the sun and the water around you felt like it moved to push you two closer together. JJ let this kiss be a simple one, unlike the other girls he had been with before. His eyes remained closed until he pulled away and looked to see you in your entirety. You did nothing but smile and bite your lip, reaching out to kiss him once more.

“I like you too,” you said. “And I like kissing you.” JJ laughed and leaned in to kiss you a third time.

“You’re real cute, Boston,” he replied.

“Do you think we could go and get some sandwiches from The Wreck? All this swimming and all this kissing has me starved.” You shared a laugh before pushing yourselves out of the water and hoped the sun was hot enough dry you both before you reached the restaurant.

You were already counting down the days you would be coming back to the outer banks.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank blurbs #jj maybank imagines #jj x reader #obx #obx x reader #outer banks #my writing #boston

681 notes · View notes

blackcherrykiss · 3 years

Text

BLOOD BOUNDARIES - Enhypen OT7 Fanfic (ch.7)

[CH.1] [CH.2] [CH.3] [CH.4] [CH.5] [CH.6] previous chapters

[CH.8.] next chapter (unavailable, check back or follow for updates!)

You fell into a distrustful panic that night now that knew the screams of the woods were also where Jungwon and his friends lived. You weren't sure if you should be scared for those group of boys or be scared of them. You'd be lying to yourself if you tried to believe it was only a coincidence the boys had a place in the forest of violent cries.

You questioned your sanity, were they murderers? Was that their dirty secret?

Your conclusions were endlessly dark, repeating themselves countlessly. You had never wanted to sleep away your thoughts more than ever. Eventually, you got exhausted from your thoughts. It was mentally draining to try and tear apart the possibilities of the situation, you didn't have enough evidence to be so sure. You lay in a cold sweat as you drifted off into a deep but horrible sleep.

You dreamt in full awareness. The boys with blood spilling down their hands and onto their swan white clothes. A red mess everywhere on the cream walls of an orphanage that overflowed with rays of a full moon. Although you were scared of what you were witnessing, you could not wake up even if your life depended on it. It seemed as if the dream had sped up your sleep as you woke in what felt like a few seconds. Calmly, you awoke in the misty autumn morning in a crushed up pile of blankets. You sit up to peel your wispy curtains away from the window to get a good look at the dark forest that steamed with a muddy blue fog. All of the memories of Jungwon yelling at you for just being near the woods flooded your brain as you stared. This time you were determined to search deep into that forest and get to the bottom of its mysteries as it called out to you.

"Y/N I think you're going to be late for your first class." Nana knocked before bursting into your room in full uniform, not a wrinkle on her shirt.

"Y-you're already ready? What time is it?!" You glanced back and forth between your pyjamas and uniform that draped over a random stool as you were too lazy to fold nicely the night before.

"We didn't want to wake you... So we went ahead thinking you'd come down eventually." She yanked you out of bed, gripping your forearms tightly before backing out the door, "Don't be late! We promised we'd keep out of detention this year!"

Within a blink of an eye, you slip into your uniform, slinking your arms through the holes of your blouse and adjusting your legs to be cover by your ashy plaid skirt. With your bag and binder in hand, you sprinted across your campus to the gymnasium where you found yourself arriving, everyone already in the proper athletic attire.

"You're late." Your health teacher grit her teeth in visible disappointment. Your teacher knew how unlike you it was to be late as your classmate's eyes followed your every movement.

"P-pardon me." You clawed your fingers through your bedhead, speeding to the change room, nervous she'd assign you detention.

You let out the deep breath you were holding in as you got into the empty locker room, frustrated at yourself for waking up so late. You can't help but feel upset that you let your thoughts get the best of you and ruin your perfect attendance. Truly you were ashamed but began to see no point in continuing to rush the pace at which your day was running.

The locker room door opens and you see Kyungeun peep herself inside, "Y/N? You alright?"

You pull your boxy shirt flat down, zipping and tying every spot on your tracksuit jacket, "Yeah, sorry rough morning..."

"No worries, I just said that I had to go to the bathroom but I really just wanted to check on you." She had a motherly sound to her voice which comforted your bad start to the day. Perhaps she was in a good enough mood for you to ask her briefly about her relationship with Sunghoon.

"Kyungeun, I think I need to just clear the air... I saw you with Sunghoon in the library." You tilted your head in regret as to whether or not you were starting off the conversation in the right direction.

"Y-you saw us???" Her face drained to an unrealistic hue, "Lord... Sunghoon will kill me if he finds out you know."

"Stop! What do you mean? He'll kill you? Is it because I know that you two are dating?"

"NO! Nevermind then!" She cut you off right after the question mark in your voice. She looked rather relieved at your response which could only mean their relationship was much different than you had presumed. "I just can't tell you about our relationship I'm s-sorry it's between just us two."

"So then it's okay for him to flirt with my roommate?"

"No? Are you serious right now ?!" Kyungeun panicked.

"So you are dating?" You gave a smug smile.

"It's not that..." She was visibly frustrated not being able to describe herself in words, "I'll tell you this, I'm bound to him..." She ran her index finger along the reddened gash on her neck He's blackmailing me."

"So you're like his pet?" You held in your laughter, you knew you should be more serious but you had no other way of trying to help Kyungeun express the gist of her relationship.

"I'll tell you another day... Let's just go before the teacher gets mad at you for taking so long to change."

...

After your class full of advanced leg exercises and mediocrely fun games, you got halted by your gym teacher, "Y/N can we speak about how tardy you were today?"

You got fearful of her sentencing you detention, freezing up from your heel upwards, "I'm so sorry, I just had a lot going on last night..."

"Sweetie, I know this is your first late in my class but unfortunately the school does not tolerate tardiness in the way I believe it should be." She tapped her chin a few times, "I have no other choice but to send you to detention but it'll just be a half-hour at lunch." You felt better that it wasn't for a full hour or two after school but you were still dreading the idea.

"Can't you just let me off the hook? I promise it'll never happen again" You pleaded desperately.

"I'm afraid I cannot... If the other teachers or students knew you didn't get sent to detention I could get into trouble for giving you 'special treatment'. I know you didn't mean to love but I cannot afford to lose my job so I'll see you then." She patted one of your shoulders, giving it a little squeeze to cheer you up.

"I understand..." You nod with your head that already hung low.

"It's in the English room down the hall, there is usually only a few students there. Some familiar faces."

...

That rest of your morning would only pull through faster as you got some weird anxiety over walking into the detention room. You could not concentrate at all in the class you had before lunch. You felt as if you were too good for the detention group of kids, but here you were about to join those you criticized. Karma.

"Make sure to answer the questions 8-16 on page 300, you have the rest of the class to do so. Any questions?" Your physics teacher stood with his hands balled up behind his back.

Realizing you had no physics book in your bag after triple checking, you shot your arm up in distress, "ME! I forgot my textbook today... I was in a rush this morning." You faked a polite laugh with the expectation your teacher would have a spare.

"I'm afraid I don't have an extra, anyone willing to share?" The teacher lifted his head to scan the class.

"I could share." Jaeyun winked making your face recoil

"Perfect! You'll probably have to move your stuff to his seat then." Your teacher suggested.

With a thick coat of disappointment, you pulled a chair up to Jaeyun's desk to which he kneed you annoyingly.

Within just a few seconds of settling down, you complained "How the hell am I supposed to write? There is no space... Desks are made for ONE person."

"Okay then don't use my textbook and fall behind" He sneered.

"Wait wait, I just had the greatest idea Jaeyun." He gave you puppy eyes when you said his name, "What if you look for half the answers I do the other half then exchange?" You whispered so the teacher could hear.

"I can't trust you make good answers though..." He jokingly sighed.

"HEY! Okay or work together for every question to get it done twice as fast? Oh wait but then I'll be the one carrying the team... Bummer..." You stretched the corners of your mouth until your lips disappeared.

"I honestly don't feel like doing work so lose-lose." He pouted and rolled his eyes.

"Same... I can't even focus, I'm having a rough morning..." You openly admitted, "I got sent to detention for being late in my first class."

"Detention? Didn't think you were the type." Jaeyun had an unexpectedly sweet giggle which contrasted with his lower tone voice, "Heeseung and Sunghoon get sent often, surprised they aren't kicked out of the school."

"They get sent often?!" Your voice rose to which you quickly quieted down to avoid trouble, "Will I see them there?"

"Why? Looking forward to going now?" Jaeyun whispered with a grin, causing you to scoff.

"As if..." A sudden idea coming to mind, "Say Jaeyun... About the party... Heard you guys have a place in the woods...?" You became aware that you could pry some information out of him that would help you when searching the woods that night.

"Yeah, we do... We don't normally tell people about it." He said casually yet still with some sort of caution.

"So why tell us then?"

"Haven't had any visitors in a while..." Jaeyun toyed with his mechanical pencil, using the plastic part to trace around his lips, "Awfully interested aren't you?" He seemed to have caught on to your intentions, shifting the mood of the conversation around in a full 180.

Suddenly the dream you had earlier slipped into mind, causing you to sit in growing discomfort, "What do you want from my friends and I?"

"Nothing sweetheart... We're more interested in you than your dormmates. You look like someone we know." He laughed like a psycho and it creeped you out how the two of you were just poking lighthearted jokes to something much darker and mysterious, "I know you're afraid of us, you know far more than most girls." His voice dropped to a whisper as he watched the teacher behind you to make sure he didn't see the both of you slacking.

"Kyungeun knows your secrets too she said she'll tell me."

"She's acting like we don't know her secrets." Jaeyun closed his textbook, "Y/N just remember this, Kyungeun is half as bad as we are and half as pure as you are."

"Alright class, that's it for today's class. This textbook assignment won't be due until Friday have a good lunch." The teacher interrupted, causing your conversation with Jaeyun to end on a hanging note.

"Good luck with detention."Jaeyun hushed in your ear.

_______________

p.s, i changed the cover lol don’t make fun of my photoshop skills!

47 notes · View notes

dracosearlgreytea · 3 years

Text

indelicate marks (16)

indelicate marks: chapter sixteen - the admission

A/N: okay, i know it has been months, but i am back with another chapter! this fic has got a little attention over the weeks and honestly, all i can say is THANK YOU SO MUCH. i love to see people enjoying my work more than anything in the world, and bless you all and your patience for waiting for the next part. i am hoping to post a new chapter within the week! please feel free to drop by my inbox with any questions about the fic! i love you all very much - ivy <3

warnings: language, very mild descriptions of scars, nsfw implications, punching, a little spicy drama

lovely tags: @h-annahayy @okaydraco @fanficflaneuse @thatoneasrastan @biinspiration @honeymelon22 @bitch-im-a-fangirl @erinisbadger @strawberriesonsummer @accio-rogers @candune @contentobsessor @darinaioana @bbeauttyybbx @letssingintherain

indelicate marks index

And so the weeks began to slide by more easily. Ignoring the ominous words Draco had offered you that night was easier than trying to decipher them. That, you had more or less figured out in the first week of trying. In fact, ignoring most things that festered away and gave you that constant sick feeling was easier than having to acknowledge them at all. Not bringing them up to the boy you continued to meet more and more also appeared to be easier, and for a while, it stayed exactly that way. Until, that was, he went missing again. You'd agreed to meet at the classroom during your joint free period of the day. With Draco's 'task' growing only further demanding, nightly meetings were much more rare. Instead, you stole your moments with him throughout the day - although, you avoided broom cupboards. This time, his disappearance was much more concerning. Whilst doubt lingered from the last time Draco managed to vanish, you were quite sure that things between you were okay. You hadn't argued. You hadn't even pushed for more information on his involvement with the Deatheaters. By lunch, you knew something was wrong. Shaky, you sat at the end of the Slytherin table. It was summer, and the weather was nice, so most students had opted to go sit outside or take a trip to Hogsmeade, leaving the hall almost empty. What bothered you, however, was that Pansy Parkinson and the rest of Draco's 'gang', were sitting unnaturally quiet a few benches away. Parkinson did look particularly disgruntled, hair a mess and skin a shade paler than usual. You waited for as long as you could stand it, hands twitching as you stared at your plate, food untouched. The thoughts inside your head were loud, and sickening. If something had happened to Draco - did someone find out about his mark? Did Lestrange find him in my thoughts back in Easter? Fuck, Draco, where are you - Parkinson stood, as did the rest of the Slytherin group. Without a second of reluctance, you shot out of your seat. Anxiety clawed at your throat, but you bit it back, calling her name before you could change your mind. "Parkinson!" She paused. Pansy didn't even glance at you the first time, and for a second you thought she was going to ignore you. But, then, she turned, eyes flashing with a concoction of hostility and surprise as they met you. "Uh - Y/L/N?" Her eyebrow arched, scanning you with her renowned glare. Self-conscious washed over you as she did so, but you kept your features steely. "Can I help you?" "I - yeah." You stumbled, inwardly cursing. The group that usually gravitated around her and Draco had paused, putting you on the receiving end of several dangerous stares. Pansy was silent, only watching you with her perpetual, irritated look. "Just wanted to know where Malfoy is - that's all." "Draco?" You noticed the way she froze for a second, before you registered his name on her lips. Quick, you nodded, glancing back at the group, who seemed to be inching back towards you. Heart rate frenzied, you eyed Pansy with what you could only label as a pleading expression. Her eyes narrowed, suspicious. "What the hell do you want with Draco?" Oh, shit. "I gave him my Potions essay for him to copy off." You lied, hoping it came smoother than it sounded. Pansy's face stayed eerily set, almost reminiscent to the way Draco appeared most the time. "I need it back." Pansy was silent, again. "Pansy!" Blaise Zabini yelled from the doorway, shooting you a look as you stared at them. "Hurry up." Pansy didn't even acknowledge him, still scrutinising you. Then, she took a small, but intimidating step forward, setting you with a hard, guarded look. "You're a good liar." She muttered. "But you're behind on school gossip." You stayed silent. You didn't trust yourself not to have a complete breakdown there and then if you opened your mouth. Finally throwing a glance over her shoulder, she returned to look at you in a swift motion. "Potter cornered him in the bathrooms. He's in the hospital wing." No. Teeth grinding together, you stared at her, sharing a look between you. It was an odd feeling, hot, in your chest. The terror of not knowing exactly what had happened to Draco, the rage at Potter, and - and the unusual relief in the understanding of Pansy's eyes. Perhaps it was a skill she had, appearing like she knew everything, every little piece about you. Yet, the glint of recognition in her gaze told you otherwise. Before you could speak, she had turned and strode back towards her group, leaving you alone by the Slytherin table. It took you a second before the realisation of Draco's injury set in. Then, you were launching yourself down the corridors, straight to the hospital wing. "Miss Y/L/N?" Madame Pomfrey called as you rushed in, setting your rather terrified eyes on the professor. You knew her well, by now, after so many visits - you had no reason to shy from her temper. "Draco Malfoy." You said, without a second of hesitance. A bed at the far corner of the hospital wing was cornered off - whatever had happened in the bathrooms clearly wasn't a secret amongst students. How the hell did I miss this? "No visitors." She spoke with a firm tone, setting her eyes on you as you had to take in a breath. "You know I wouldn't come here for just anyone," You murmured, drained. The emotion, and worrying must have shown on your expression, resonating in the way her eyes softened in the slightest. "No visitors, Miss Y/L/N. I can't make exceptions." Stubborn as ever. "Then - I - is he okay?" "Yes." She sighed, lips dragging down in the slightest. "He'll live, dear. Now, please make yourself scarse, before Professor McGonagall thinks you're causing a scene." Madame Pomfrey began to gesture you back to the doorway you had sped through. Yet, before you could bite them back, a last, desperate attempt spilled from your mouth. "Can you at least let him know I tried?" Her lips etched further down in the tiniest. Your heart murmured in disappointment - but, as you were about to give in hope, she gave you a singular, firm nod. "Fine. Now, out of my hospital wing, girl." The tone of her voice was enough for you to know you had pushed her to her limit. "Thank you." Your reply came as a breath you weren't quite sure was at all audible, soon to make it back out of the hospital wing. Draco was at least getting tended to - and Madame Pomfrey didn't seem too stressed. All good signs that whatever had happened wasn't too drastic, at least. Still, that persistent nausea remained, stubborn. You were definitely not in the mood for a mind numbing lesson of a History of Magic, that was for certain. The Classroom it is. At least if Draco gets out of the hospital wing I'll know if he stopped by to see me. So lost in thought on the way to the classroom, you could have almost missed it. The three famous faces of Hogwarts, huddled together, but speeding towards what you assumed would be the Gryffindor common room. If you'd have been paying more attention, maybe you would have noticed Harry Potter's laboured, terrified breathing, and Hermione's furrowed brow. But they didn't need to have been wearing Gryffindor robes for you to see red. For once, you didn't feel your usual jittering anxiety. You didn't weigh up what your actions would mean, what your reputation would do. Your strides became quicker, poised. Fists curled up, you bared your teeth and let out a yell. "Potter!" He didn't even turn to look at you. No, it was his two bodyguards that spun. Expressions tired, they looked ready to face another barrage of questions from nosy students, only to drop. Hermione's eyes lit up with panic at the sight of you, most likely looking a little deranged. Her lips shifted to say something, but your thoughts were too loud. He hurt Draco. He hurt Draco, and now I'm going to hurt him. Harry turned to face you at the last minute. Bringing back your arm, you swung your fist directly into his face. "Don't you fucking dare touch him again!" Your voice didn't even feel like your own as you glared down at Harry. He stumbled back, Ron quick to his aid and preventing his fall. "Y/N-" "No, Harry Potter, you fucking listen to me." Hissing, you pushed Hermione away from you as she attempted to pull you back, despite Harry's lack of retaliation. "You stay away from me, and you stay away from Draco." Your eyes glinted, taking in every inch of shock across his face. "Or I will do a lot worse than give you a black eye." "Y/N, go." Hermione urged, gaze pressuring and a little dangerous. It was only then that you realised there were a lot more eyes on you than you once noticed. All around the corridor - students of every year, every house. Staring. Whispering. Jaw grinding together, you threw another glare at Harry for good measure. Then, you stepped back, getting away from the corridor before anything could escalate. For once, there were no scalding, angry tears to follow your mistake. There was no pounding heartbeat, or panicked breathing. For once, as you made your way to the classroom, there was only the sting of your knuckles. And, the odd satisfaction of knowing you'd at least done something for Draco. You'd stood up for him, like he'd stood up for you - and whilst, yes, there was also the concern of him being angry at you for doing so - you knew it was all you could try and do. If Draco was going to get himself killed, you'd be there to try and prevent it to any measures necessary. You'd been sat at the window ledge for hours when Draco finally made an appearance. Dusk was setting in, casting the room that warm orange you felt so comfortable within. The moment the door clicked unlocked, your heart jumped, and before you could rush to the door he was already pushing it open, eyes locking with yours instantly. Swallowing, a second of silence settled between you. There was a million words coming to mind, yet they vanished. All you could do was take in the note of his familiar grey-blue gaze. "Evening." Finally, he spoke, twitching a corner of his lip upward as he slipped into the room and locked the door behind him. That. That was all it took. "Draco Lucius Malfoy, you complete and utter idiot-" You'd scrambled to your feet in a second, eyes darting all over his body as you marched towards him and pulled him into a less than gentle embrace. Draco let out a grunt, but then you pulled back again, setting a hand either side of his face. "What the fuck did you do? Merlin, are you alright? I've been fucking worried sick about you all day, I had to speak to Pansy bloody Parkinson just to find out where you are-" Draco's lips cut you off, his own hands coming to rest over yours. Your heart leapt as he did so, and despite his cool skin, you flushed warm. Every little bit of stress dissipated at the action, swiped away by his touch. Pulling back, he prized your hands off of him, although kept them tucked into his. His eyes glimmered with a certain tone of pride - one you hadn't seen him wear often in the last few months. "You gave Potter a black eye." Draco's face pulled into a grin as he spoke, as though he couldn't help himself. Chest fluttering, you realised - Draco was proud of you. "Well - yeah." You felt your own, faint smile play along your lips. "He put you in hospital, Draco. Fuck, are you alright?" Straight back to panicking, you searched him again, the sight of him standing so full in front of you almost thrilling after such a long day. "Can you stop fretting for one second?" He pressed. "No, I cannot! What happened?" Demanding, you set him with a firm look. "You gave Potter a black eye, that's what fucking happened!" Draco exclaimed, eyes alight and wide. "I'm aware. I did do it myself, you know." You sighed, finally accepting that you were not going to find anything out about Draco's injury anytime soon. "You're bloody brilliant." He murmured, kissing you again - this time, a lot more hastily, so much it took you by surprise. You allowed him to wrap his arms around your waist, your own hands grasping at the back of his hair as his lips played atop of yours. Only, for them to travel across your jawline, breath hitching as they did so. "I wish I was there to have seen it." Draco whispered, voice dark, tempting. "Stop sexualising my violence." You muttered, evoking a chuckle from the back of his throat. The sound so close to your ear that it made you shiver, his fingers dug into your waist a little deeper. Still, you pushed the feeling away. "Draco, please tell me what happened." Finally, Draco faltered, an echo of a sigh escaping his lips as he shifted back to take you in. "I don't think you want to know." Heart stumbling, you swallowed, eyes dropping to where your hands splayed over his shoulders. "Trust me." Your eyes flickered back to his. Gradual hesitation was breaking through his previous, much more playful gaze. "I want to know." A silence settled between you. Endless amounts of tension managed to fill the small space between your features. It was the type of tension that already made your heart clench in your chest, the type that made you not want to breath. Draco's expression had fallen, a mixture of withdrawal and unexpected dread - one he would usually try so hard to cover. It was unnerving, seeing someone usually so hardened, so steely, dropping back into the terrified boy you only caught glimpses of before. And, eventually, he spoke. "He knows." Your breath caught in the back of your throat. "He saw - saw the mark, when I went to visit Myrtle. Shot some spell I've never heard at me." Draco, once avoiding your glossy eyes, finally met them again. "Nearly killed me." Merlin, his tone was something you'd never even attempted to imagine, coming from Draco. Both haunted, yet accepting, as though he was comfortable with his own fear - and it terrified you, deep into your core. In any other situation, you would have noticed your own terror. The idea of Draco dying, without you having even known - it was unthinkable. He was everything you had, everything you'd ever wanted or needed after a life spent within your own head. If he died - But you didn't. No. For once, it was only anger. Draco's expression was only a spark to a fire pit built many years ago. Built the day you stepped inside Hogwarts, brimming with hopes and dreams, only to be met with rejection. It took a moment for you to realise that Draco was still watching you, uncertain, brow furrowed in concern. For you. Not him, not the one who had almost died only a few hours ago. And so, you let out a careful breath, holding his face in your hands as though it was the most precious thing to exist. "I won't let that happen." You murmured, meeting his complex grey faze with a fierce one. Swallowing, Draco watched you a moment longer, as though trying to read the intensity of your words. "I know." His brow jolted in as he spoke, as though he were wounded to say it. There was an underlying tone to your admission, one you both appeared to ignore. But then, Draco pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, squeezing your waist tight in his grip. The movement brushed away the tension before you could even attempt to hold onto it. It left you feeling a little unhinged, blinking. "I'm alive, though." Draco reassured, catching your eye once again. "Madame Pomfrey fixed me up quite nicely." A soft chuckle left you as he spoke, breaking through the stiffness of your features. "Really?" You raised an eyebrow, teasing. "Any battle scars?" His lips twitched, gaze warm. "You're just trying to get me undressed." Shaking his head, you laughed again, watching as Draco shifted away from you to tug his shirt upward. There was a slight stutter in your chest as he did so, a sudden childish nervousness at the exposure of skin. But, as your eyes swept across the healed, rugged lines across his chest, it faded. Leaving you instead, with both a tinge of worry - and, a slight desire. Draco, however, seemed to note your expression. He didn't allow his shirt to fall back down till your eyes met again, except this time, they were a little darkened. "Like what you see?" A smug smirk plastered his features, but you only rolled your eyes. "Cocky as always, Malfoy." You teased, unable to stop yourself from smiling as he pulled you in closer again. Pressing short kisses to your jaw, he earnt a sharp intake of breath from you. "I never denied that." The mood, somehow, managed to stay warm for the rest of the evening. Settled on the window sill, soaking in Draco's presence and rare good mood - your anxieties faded. His arms were so tight around you, soft lips finding your skin, over and over. It was as though you were dreaming. The anger, however - the anger never quite left. You weren't quite sure if you wanted it to, either.

#Draco Malfoy #draco malfoy angst #draco x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco x you #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fluff #harry potter fanfiction #indelicate marks series

84 notes · View notes

iwillhaveamoonbase · 3 years

Text

Are You Receiving Me Clear?

Post-TTM Callum finds a Startouch elf to help him learn where Rayla is.

-----------------

Callum stared at the Startouch elf before him. The woman was ageless and looked at him with eyes that held such wisdom but also a sense of playfulness. Were all Startouch elves like this, he wondered. Lujanne had sent him to Najma to start his quest to find Rayla after he had gone after her. Callum still didn’t understand why she had left him behind, but he couldn’t leave her on her own when there were still people loyal to Viren’s cause out there.

“Are you Najma?” he finally asked. She had gestured him to come in when she had opened her door but they had yet to exchange a word as they had sized each other up.

The woman smiled again, moving her hand to tuck back her white hair that lay under a loose veil. “Yes.” Even her voice portrayed a sense of being far older than even the castle back in Katolis but also as young as a teenager experiencing their first love. “How can I help you, Prince Callum?”

“You…you know who I am?”

“Yes. Word has travelled fast and far of a human prince who can use the Sky arcanum without a primal stone. There has been no one like you in a very, very long time.”

That gave him pause. “Wait, there were others like me? I thought-”

“A handful of select humans were capable of figuring it out before you. I could probably count the number on my hand and I never met them myself.”

“Oh.”

“But that’s not why you are here.” Raising a glass to her lips, she watched him with warm eyes. Callum shifted in the chair she had gestured for him to sit in when he had knocked on her door. “I rarely get visitors, you know. Who sent you?”

“Lujanne.”

“Ah. We met twice. Once when she was starting her mage training and was getting in all kinds of trouble. The second time…well, Lujanne had failed one too many times and was being sentenced to guard the Moon Nexus.”

“I thought,” Callum furrowed his brows and licked his lips, “I thought that it was an honor for talented mages to go guard the Moon Nexus.”

“That’s what they say, but it’s a punishment. There are no other elves around and the Cursed Caldera, until recently, had to be guarded with visions, so little interaction with humans. Also, the only real source of sustenance is grubs.” Putting her chin on her closed fist, Najma observed him for a few moments. “You know how Moonshadow elves put such value on pride, but there’s also a strong element of secrecy and tradition in their culture.”

“Isn’t all of Xadia like that?”

Humming, she nodded her head back and forth. “Yes and no. There’s degrees of it depending on the culture. Tidebounds are more secretive than Sunfires but not as secretive as Moonshadow elves. At least, not intentionally. Startouch elves are more about observing the celestial bodies, science, mathematics, applying it to art and the world around us. Startouch mages have to learn for many years how the universe bends and twists and how to do so to our bidding without breaking the rules of the arcanum. And then there’s time, which doesn’t flow quite as straight as people think it does. It goes backwards and forwards and twists and turns. We cannot control time, but we have to understand it’s place in the universe in order to properly understand the stars.”

Captivated by her words, Callum leaned forward in his chair. “Do you think it’s possible for me to learn?”

“I don’t know. Of the few human mages before you, to my knowledge, they never got star magic. It takes work and theory and it’s a far more applied science than moon magic is, for example.”

“Would you teach me?”

“Is that why you are here?” There was humor in her voice, but also distrust.

“No. My girlfriend, Rayla, is a Moonshadow elf and she left in the middle of the night. We entered the space between life and the other side and she didn’t see people there she thinks were supposed to be. So, she left and only told me she was getting answers. I want to find her.”

“I can do that for you. As for teaching you Startouch magic, I don’t know. We can certainly try, but you will need to study quite a bit before we even attempt star magic.”

“How will you help me find her?”

“I cannot give you an exact location, but I can give you a projection of her by calling on the stars. If your connection is strong enough, as long as you focus on her, you should be able to see her and get a rough idea of where she is. If she is connected to you, she might be able to see you.”

“So, it’s like my body is moving towards her?”

“No, a projection of you. Your body and your spirit will not be moving anywhere.”

“OK. What do we do?”

“Just focus on her. Let me do the rest. Come with me.” Callum followed Najma to a round, empty room. “Focus, Prince Callum.”

“You can just call me Callum. Please.”

She smiled, the twinkle that was ever present became stronger. “Alright. Callum. Focus on Rayla, on your relationship, the good and the bad. Also, don’t be too shocked by what you see.” Callum emptied his mind of everything except Rayla; her smile, her laughter, how crazy she drove him, but also how much he loved her.

He heard Draconic coming from Najma, eyes growing wide as the center of the room grew a bright dot before expanding out. Suddenly, what looked like dust was moving around before swirling and forming spheres of light and colors he would never have guessed were in the sky above him. He heard music, something that sounded like an old instrument he couldn’t place and another he had never even heard before, but in a rhythm he both recognized and knew he had never heard before.

Najma was doing nothing but holding out her hands and watching him. Callum tried to keep his mind focused on Rayla, but the longer time passed, the more he realized he was watching the birth of the universe occur in front of his eyes. The spheres moved and expanded all over the room. Finally, a small blue and green sphere was in front of him. An image about as large as a mirror came forward, cloudy with wavy edges.

There was a forest before zooming forward and he saw her: Rayla. She was leaning on a tree with her arms crossed, glaring at the ground. A hand was on her shoulder, attached to a muscular arm, and what looked like a masculine shape. Callum bit his lip, but stamped down the jealousy welling in his stomach. There were other figures present, off to the side, and Callum could not deny that there was comfort in knowing Rayla wasn’t alone. If she had help with whatever she was trying to find, maybe it would help guarantee she would come back to him.

He felt a breeze ruffle his hair and his lips parted, holding his hand out as he whispered Rayla’s name. To his shock, she looked up. Those lavender eyes he loved so much went wide and he knew she saw him even though no one else in her group seemed to notice. He could see her mouth his name and her hand slowly lifting up to him, as if to grasp his own. Before she could, the image faded and Callum was left with the universe in miniature around him. The projection continued to expand before he saw the spheres exploding and eventually, everything went dim. “That was…incredible,” he whispered.

“I’m assuming you know what that was.”

“The life of the universe.”

“Very good. As I said, Startouch mages can bend and twist the space and magic that the stars give us, but we also have to understand time and space. All things are made up of star stuff, so we can give you visions of the here and now, but we cannot teleport you to someone’s side or even show you visions of the futre. There are limitations. Do you know where she is?”

“Xadia, for sure. I think she’s in Earthblood territory.”

“Will you go after her?”

Callum paused, looking at Najma before looking at his hands. He could have a chance to at least learn about the star arcanum even if he never was able to use star magic and he now knew Rayla was safe. Ezran and Soren had promised him that if they needed him back home, they would contact Lujanne and she would find a way to contact him. “I…I want to be with Rayla, but if she really thinks she needs to do this without me, at least I know she isn’t alone now. I want to learn from you, Najma. Please, teach me about the star arcanum.”

“What if you can’t use star magic?”

“At least I’ll have learned more about magic and the universe we live in.”

“Hmm.” She regarded him for a few moments before finally nodding her head. “I’ll give you a trial period of two weeks. If I don’t like how you act or if you don’t listen to me, I’m kicking you out.”

“Deal.”

--------------------------------

Rayla ignored Liam as he continued trying to flirt with her, focusing on her internal crisis. She had seen a vision of Callum and she knew it had not been her mind playing tricks on her or any of her compatriots. They didn’t know what Callum looked like and none of them were Moonshadow elves. She had come across a band of two Skywing elves and three Sunfire elves a few weeks ago and had joined them on their quest after they promised to help her find Viren. They didn’t know she was the Moonshadow elf that was now famously engaged in courtship with a human prince or that she had been at the Spire. They didn’t ask questions as long as she didn’t ask any either.

‘I promise, I will find a way back to you,’ she whispered in her mind to Callum, wherever he was. ‘Just give me time. I have to do this, for me, for my family, for us. I love you, My Heart, and I am sorry I left you. Please, be safe.’

------------------

If you can guess the song the title is a reference to, I would be amazed. When that particular lyric is used, that's roughly what I think Callum was hearing in the projection.

This fic also has my personal theories on why Lujanne is solo in guarding the Moon Nexus and how Startouch magic works. I believe that Startouch elves are based on the Moors from the Iberian Peninsula who advanced math and astronomy and their magic involves understanding science and how stars work.

#rayllum #the dragon prince #moonbase fics #post-through the moon #through the moon #callum #rayla

13 notes · View notes

avada-kedavrugh · 4 years

Text

Biggest Mistake

Summary | Imagine Jimin is your best friend and you’re hopelessly in love with him. See what happens with a fun old sprinkle of angst :)

This was a fan fiction I wrote like 2 years ago and I haven’t reread it properly but felt like posting it here

Pairing | Jimin x Reader

Genre | Unrequited? Love AU/ Best friend’s AU

Words | 2975

The blinding smile on his face grew as his eyes caught sight of you, the smile growing into a glowing grin that only became larger as he broke into a sprint, running towards you, mouthing the words you always longed to hear him say…

The thunderous sound of slamming against your front door was the rude interruption to your heavenly dream, a sigh escaped your lips as you struggled to open one eye, which quickly became disoriented to the sudden entry of dim light that squeezed itself through the curtains as you made an attempt to find out the time the demonic invader had decided to arrive.

Your eyes caught sight of your phone and with immense effort you attempted to perch forward and reach your phone, surprisingly, finding yourself crashing onto the floor in a wave of duvet and hair and an immense wave of pain.

“Y/N…” You heard a recognisable voice yell, probably disturbed by the loud sound, unaware of the sound that raced from your own chest “Are you alright?”

With a new and sudden wave of motivation you found yourself quickly stumbling towards the door, trying to make yourself look at least a tiny bit presentable after being woken up in the middle of the fucking night, or as some might say, 7am. Finally, opening the door you sighed, remembering the dream you had previously been indulging yourself in that had now been annoying ruined by your visitor.

“It’s my day off Ji-“ You began to complain.

That was until your eyes caught sight of him, the bowl cut blonde with a wide grin that only managed to make your own mouth fall as you took in the astonishing sight that you sadly were still not used to.

“Are you okay Y/N?” He eyebrows furrowing in concern as your eyes kept fixed upon his face

“Ye-Yeah,” You finally spluttered out, mouth moving back into an acceptable position of non-drawling “I thought I had been pranked, I almost didn’t see you down there” You teased, memorising the mix of amusement and irritation in his face as he moved closer to you, making your heart race, only worsened as he lightly hit your arm before brushing past you, entering your home, and simultaneously your heart.

“So, what brings you here?” You spoke, finally feeling the tiredness escape as your heart seemingly raced into action under the drowning beauty of Jimin.

“Well…I need you.”

Your eyes popped out of your sockets, as you looked at him, mouth once again mimicking that of a fish, as you attempted to splutter out a response while he just continued to smirk to himself, watching the red flush that spread across your cheeks.

“I need you to help me buy Hyuna a present.” He finally finished, gaging your reaction as you gradually returned to a mostly composed, perhaps almost human-like figure.

“Oh. Any reason? Or are you two just that lovey dovey?” You mocked, mind flashing back to the disgusting sights of Jimin with his tongue down her throat or with his arm snaked around her waist, the pair tightly wrapped together.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day.” Jimin said, his eyes flickering with pity as you realised the date, realised your loneliness, and realised how fucked you were for falling in love with your best friend, particularly one that was now doing very well drowning his girlfriend with his tongue, completely unaware of the tears of sorrow you drowned yourself in after seeing the two together.

“Really? Where’s my date then?” You chuckled, his face finally lighting up

“Aren’t I good enough?” He laughed

“Of course, you are, but there’s something sort of in the way, the lil issue of your girlfriend, maybe?” You joked back, most of you hoping he never realisd the truth within your jokes, though a sinister part of you begs for him to realise and finally confess his feelings to you, feelings, that were definitely non-existent.

Snapping back up to look at him you found his eyes looking at you with an unrecognisable expression, almost reading your own eyes for something, maybe he would finally understand the feeling of drowning in his eyes.

“I’ll help,” You started, snapping him out of his daze, as his eyes and lips curled up into a smile, grabbing your coat and shoes, ignoring how disastrous you looked at the dumb hour of the morning that you were sure, no one – except Jimin the clearly inhuman being – was awake at “Let’s go.”

You found yourself utterly wrong about the lack of humanity in a shopping centre at 7:30am, convincing you of the insanity of the human race. You had your hand clutched to Jimin's wrist as you attempted to manoeuvre out of the way of the groups of people emerging in the shops, silently judging you for your atrocious, ape-like appearance while you stood beside the groomed, angelic boy who was prepared for all the girls that threw glances obvious at him. Feeling the eyes on you, your heart racing and your mind repeating insults to yourself, you desperately entered a store, ignoring its contents as you tried to find an empty area to allow yourself to prepare for the judgemental stares the people gave. Summoning up all your courage you finally stopped and turned to look at the man who had just allowed you to drag him into the abandoned corner of a random store, his eyes observing the contents of the store around him.

“Did you have any ideas?” You asked him, his eyes finally snapping to meet yours with a hearty chuckle as his response

"Well certainly not this stuff." He laughed, throwing a look towards the items around the store. You turned your eyes towards the shelves, taking in the stacks of nappies that lined them, allowing yourself to glance around the store your eyes took in colourful toys, baby clothes, tiny items of furniture and the staff at the front of the store that had their eyes fixed upon the two of you, smiling as they whispered between each other.

You had bought Jimin to a baby store, you had bought Park fucking Jimin to a baby store.

"Are you really this lonely Y/N?" He began to tease, a smirk etched into his face as you furrowed your eyebrows at him

"I understand, it's okay…” Your face shone a bright shade of red while Jimin just continued to shine like the angel he was, despite his demonic teasing “I'll be your baby daddy."

His crude joke emphasised by his wink caused you to choke as you wished he would shut up as he laughed at your embarrassment

"I think I'd want someone way more attractive to be the father of my child." You finally muttered back, his teasing taking all your confidence as his own eyebrows rose to question you further but after a moment of silence he finally continued.

"Well, Tae's free." He wiggled his eyebrows slightly "And it is Valentine' Day soon." The suggestion bought your face to complete redness as you delivered a slight slap to his arm and a glare. He finally went silent before turning around and throwing a look to you

"Let's go?" You asked

"Really? I was looking forward to looking at all these nappies" He teased before grabbing your hand and beginning to pull you out.

“Lingerie, really?” You spluttered, eyes wide when you finally realised Jimin’s destination as he dragged you towards the store. You didn’t think it could get any worse than being woken up early in the morning, dragged to the mall then being judged for your untamed hair, baggy clothes and exhausted face, topped off by pulling your crush into a baby store, but no, like most of your ideas, you had been entirely wrong – something you only realised as your face grew to be the same crimson colour of the lacy bra in the stores window.

“Come on, what else would you get your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day? Don’t pretend none of your boyfriend’s have ever given you lingerie.” Your eyes left his face as he mentioned the word ‘boyfriend’, instead they became intrigued in the plain wooden flooring of the lingerie store, eyes avoiding both Jimin and the underwear around you. You had had boyfriend’s in the past, well, a boyfriend.

His name was, well, is Jungkook. You had been teenagers when you got together, still living for the adventure and thrill of life which made for a whirlwind romance. The relationship began in the long summer days, days spent curled up beside Jungkook – playing Overwatch, reading comic books or going for road trips. Meanwhile, the nights were spent curled up beneath Jungkook in a typical teenage lust fuelled night. Looking back on it, you had abandoned Jimin, ignoring his messages or avoiding him when you saw him, but when the long summer days ended and the cold winter began to settle in, the warmth between you and Jungkook began to vanish until finally you both decided it was time. It was that day when you finally went to see Jimin, tears running down your face, his eyes looked at you with concern over spilling from the edges of his wide eyes before pulling you into a hug and never mentioning the months you had avoided him, ignoring his messages for days and finally replying to his messages with a blunt response. You had spent the cold night sat nestled beside him on his bed, a level of intimacy you had been having with another boy only a few days before, a boy you had now lost despite the times you told each other “I love you”. You like to tell yourself that was your excuse, your excuse for what happened next, sometimes you even wonder what his was.

He had kissed you. Jimin. Jimin had kissed you. Lip on lip. His hands had tugged you closer to him, trying to conjoin the two of you, your lips already joined in a heart-warming, intimate kiss. That you returned. He had pushed you against his bed, his body hovering over you, eyes flickering between concern, lust and an unrecognisable emotion. His eyes scanned over your face, searing into your skin as he searched for something, his eyes almost pleading to register something from your face. Sensing his conflict, you finally nodded, another mistake you had made that day, another one you liked to excuse with the argument of being a heartbroken teenager, still desperate for a thrill. His lips curled up into a smile though his eyes continued their search with concern flickering in his eyes.

You made another mistake, you pulled him down towards you, tugging on his white t-shirt that clung onto the muscles that were carved into his body. His lips finally reconnected with yours, more lust in the kiss as his hands started to journey across your body, taking their time while you desperately kissed him. His body was pressed against yours, the throb in your stomach worsened by the feel of his muscles against yours and his member prodding against your thigh. Your hands quickly moved down his upper body, memorising his muscles along the way as your hand found itself by his crotch, preparing to please him. Sensing your intentions, his hand curled up around your wrist, ceasing your desires as he slightly pulled himself away. His eyes, that drowned with emotion, taking in the sight of your face as the sound of heavy breathing filled the room.

“Why did you stop?” You finally sighed, eyes mirroring his previous look of concern. The room remained silent as his eyes, that hid so many emotions, continued to memorise each detail of your face. “Did I do something wrong?” His mouth remained shut, his eyes looking conflicted. “Jimin?” You called to him, trying to awake the boy that had awoken a desperate lust in you.

His eyes finally stopped darting across your face, meeting yours as he gave you a hasty shake of his head “You did nothing wrong,” He muttered “It was better than how I always imagined it would be…”

You never got to question him about that, you were about to, your eyebrows curling down as you realised the implications held in his words. You opened your mouth about to ask him but immediately closed it, not in fear of what could happen to your relationship, but because of your realisation of the internal conflict he was clearly having, as his eyes became emotionless.

“Jimin…” You began, hand reaching out to stroke his cheek, attempting to caress his hidden words from his puffy lips that desperately held them in.

After all your mistakes, his finally came. This was his mistake.

“I love you.” The words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them, his eyes flashing in fear as he looked at you again.

That was his mistake, and your next one was pushing him off, darting out of his room, rushing down the stairs, slamming his front door and running all the way back home. But your biggest mistake was falling in love with him.

“Hyuna would also look really hot in lingerie…or anything…or nothing.” Jimin’s words finally snapped you out of your thoughts, as you gave him a light slap to the arm and a look of disgust.

“Ew, next you’ll be telling me about your porn collection.” His mouth opened as he was about to speak, his smirk worrying you so you quickly interrupted him “Don’t even dare Park Jimin.”

His plump lips – that you wish were moving to kiss yours - moved into a pout as he feigned pain but his acting was ruined by the amusement evident in his bright eyes.

“Awh, really Y/N?” His elbow lightly jabbed you as he attempted to tease you, making you forget all the people in the store “You sure? What if I’m in it?”

“Then I don’t want to watch some vomit inducing porn Jimin.” You returned, a smirk curling up on your lips as his pout became more prominent as he mimicked a child. You laughed at him as he returned it, the sound of his laughter singing in your ears making your grin only wider.

“I bet you would watch it if Tae was in it.” He smirked back

“Of course.” You winked at him, enjoying his acting as he once again pretended be offended, hand dramatically falling against his forehead.

“I hate you Y/N.”

“You love me really.” You teased, preparing for your next teasing comment.

But his next words left you wordless and instead a spluttering mess of a human as his eyes returned to yours, his voice sounding sincere “I do.”

Your mind flashed back to that moment over a year ago in his bedroom, maybe you would finally get your chance to confess, kiss him and never see him with Hyuna again Your mind was buzzing, words stumbling in your mind, Jimin’s face remained expressionless as his eyes read yours.

“Wh-Wha-What?” You finally spluttered out

His face changed into a look of amusement as he finally replied “What did you expect Y/N? You are my best friend.” He lavished in your embarrassment as your eyes darted away from him once again, taking in the sight of people quickly glancing away from the two of you, trying to hide the clear fact that they had been listening in. Your embarrassment worsened and an anger grew in you as you realised people had watched your commotion and probably witnessed how flustered his words made you.

“Jimin, you can’t just say that stuff.” You growled, attempting to glare at him with a menacing look, which he just frowned at.

“Why not Y/N?” He began “You are my best friend.”

“Because…because what if I thought you were being serious?” His eyes flashed with emotion before he looked at you again with a confused look

“What if I thought you actually, properly liked me?” You continued, leaving his mouth falling open “You can’t just say that shit to me Jimin. You can’t just act like I’m one of your male friends, have a girlfriend, a girlfriend you want me to help you buy lingerie for and then tell me you love me. It doesn’t work like that Jimin. What if I actually liked you? I don’t. But if I did maybe you’d be hurting my feelings?” His eyes and mouth were wide as he looked at you with shock, the silence between you became deafening as you began to drown in the look upon his face. You finally shook your head, beginning to turn away from him. Maybe you could finally fix your mistakes.

“Just forget it Jimin. I’m going to go. Please don’t try to message me Jimin, I really won’t want to talk to you.” You started to walk away, the prying eyes of the people around you darting to look at the floor in front of them that seemingly held all their interest. Jimin’s eyes didn’t dart away and watched your figure as you took another step away, you stopped suddenly, releasing a sigh before turning back to look at him. Jimin hoped for a moment you were going to stay with him, though he realised it was selfish, an utterly selfish desire that he didn’t even have any guilt for having.

“You should buy Hyuna some purple silky lingerie, she liked it before.” Your finger pointing towards a set of lingerie that had caught your eye and had also caught Hyuna’s a few weeks ago when you had been forced to go shopping with her, Jimin’s eyes didn’t follow your finger and instead widened at your words, shocked by your final words to him after such a dramatic goodbye. And then you walked away. And he didn’t run after you.

Perhaps that was Jimin’s biggest mistake.

#bts #jimin #park jimin #bts angst #bts fluff #jimin x reader #bts x reader #jimin scenario #jimin imagine #jimin drabble #bts scenario #bts imagine #best friend au #bts fanfic #jimin fanfic #jimin fluff #jungkook #cherubts

95 notes · View notes

coridallasmultipass · 3 years

Text

Native American Remains Found in Montecito, CA

I ranted about this on Insta the other day, but I want to bring it up here where I have more space to vent without text-walling my story.

Sources: https://www.independent.com/2021/06/04/riven-rock-remains-are-native-american/

Follow-Up Article: https://www.independent.com/2021/06/09/mystery-surrounds-human-remains-found-on-montecito-property/

This is an extremely depressing discovery I learned about earlier this week. Made even more depressing by recent circumstances.

Let me start with a bit of backstory for the area… Montecito is known to be the area where Rich People move to retire or get out of LA. It’s basically all multimillion dollar homes (the whole southern area of Santa Barbara County is like that, too) and sits comfortably facing the Channel Islands. Montecito/SB are known for being the homes of celebrities like Katy Perry, Oprah Winfrey, and now the new royal couple Prince Harry and Megan Markle.

Now, if you ask me, there are too many Multimillion Dollar McMansions in our county. I’m from the Chumash tribe (specifically Ineseño, the one inland from Santa Barbara; we have the Reservation.) Just a couple years ago, my tribe purchased a plot of land that was historically ours - as in, part of the original Reservation documents. My tribe made a large contribution to the county along with the purchase. But owning the land was not the same as annexing it into the rez.

I’m a 90s kid so I remember what the rez used to look like before our casino grew in the early 2000s. Multiple generations would have a house, and have to keep adding onto it to make room; each property would have multiple trailers so others could live there too. Space was cramped. Especially pushed up along the Santa Ynez River that used to flood before we got the drought (which made for some fun times swimming in the rain as a kid..) Housing on the rez is a lot safer now, though, but the space is still needed.

Our tribe had planned to use that land, purchased in 2010, for more (badly needed) tribal housing. Then comes along this racist group called “Save The Valley”/“Santa Ynez Valley Coalition” who claimed that our tribe was a leech on the county, and that building (necessary, modest) housing there would “ruin the view”… They, and the county, took the tribe to court over and over - county court, state court, federal court, all because they did not want us to use our land for our people.

I should also mention here that the Chumash Reservation is probably THE GREENEST place in the entire county. The casino and resort are all ~ zero waste, solar energy, whatever. They have won awards for being so eco-friendly. So the new housing was going to follow suit, as well. Certainly nothing I would call a leech with how much business the casino brings to the local shops and wineries around the county.

Things are still up in the air in regards to this issue, but it seems to be moving forward finally.

Source: https://lompocrecord.com/news/local/bureau-of-indian-affairs-makes-final-decision-on-taking-camp-4-into-trust-for-chumash/article_0e798813-1710-5d27-9d2d-5e2618db8da9.html

Conversely, here’s another anecdote about an appropriate way to preserve “the view”: This year (this month!! June 2021), a group planned to permanently alter the landscape of the foothills of the San Marcos mountains in Santa Barbara, by building more multimillion dollar mansions over this historically Chumash land, and keeping it as a private community. Another group, Save The San Marcos Foothills, crowdfunded over 18 million dollars (!!!!) to halt the construction, purchase the land, and work WITH the county AND the Chumash to preserve it and keep it as an open space that the public can go to, to enjoy the natural landscape, without harming the wildlife.

Source: https://www.savesanmarcosfoothills.org/

Let me take a little time to explain a bit of Chumash history. I’m no expert, and might not do it justice, but it’s important to understand the full context of why I’m so upset. The Chumash people originated on the Channel Islands. We grew and prospered and lived happily alongside wildlife, until our islands seemed too small for all of us. Our mother goddess Hutash decided that we were ready to travel to the mainland and grow as humans do. She built us a rainbow bridge and cautioned us not to look down. Those who became scared and looked down, fell, and transformed into dolphins, who we consider family. As we move into the mainland to live, so we return towards the sea when we die. Our spirits venture to Point Conception (near Lompoc, CA) where we begin our trials and journey through the afterlife.

Our lives and spirits are deeply tied to this local area of California, and it’s a damn shame that it’s been branded as the expensive rich white people area to retire or the pricey beachy getaway for celebrities to buy privacy.

Historically, the Chumash have lived here for a long time. We’re a long ways away from Central America, but even our language has a few loanwords from Nahuatl. It’s also theorized that we had (peaceful) contact with the seafaring Polynesians, too. When the Spanish brought native Mexicans with them, we saw them as our bretheren, yet we were treated as a much lower class during the Mission Period. This is where we were hit the hardest. We lost our language in such a way that it is not natively spoken today. (Though there is still hope with many people studying and learning it on their own and with the help of language experts.)

So, back to the original link I posted. Native American remains found in Montecito. It is truly, deeply, filling me with a sorrow I can not come to terms with. It’s depressing. It’s angering. It’s Disturbing. The fact that these remains were found during the construction of a (likely) multimillion dollar mansion is bad enough. And after the decendant/tribe is notified (it’s still not clear if he was Barbareño Chumash or a visitor), they’re going to continue building that mansion.

But to make matters even more disturbing, is that the neighbors within earshot include Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s fancy new estate.

Let that sink in.

A tribe that had no historical contact with British Imperialism, now has a royal couple living (basically/almost) on top of the grave of one of us. One of us that had been left to the elements for so long that the bones found were in fragments.

Not far from Montecito is a street in Santa Barbara that, up until last year, was called Indio Muerto Street (“Dead Indian”) because a dead Chumash man was found there. ((Thankfully, the street was renamed in 2020 to Hutash Street, and a memorial made to all the natives who died alone.))

Source: https://www.independent.com/2020/09/30/santa-barbaras-indio-muerto-street-to-be-changed/

I just can’t get over how much of this county we lived in, like, we Really Lived In and With the land. Our spirits are tethered to this land while we live. And so many of these fancy rich houses are built on soil that was once soaked in our blood. All while our tribe has to fight the legal system that favours racist objectors, just to try and get land that is appropriate to house our tribe.

Words do not bring justice to describing how deeply discoveries like this hurt. I’m still crying about it because there’s nothing I can do. The real battles are long over, and the only way to fight now is with money, so I sit here and mourn and cry for the dusty remains of my long-forgotten cuzin.

10 notes · View notes

damn-stark · 4 years

Text

Snips

Chapter 3 of Dark Temptations

A/N- I really love how this chapter turned out! I’m so excited to continue this series!! I really am loving how it’s turning out :) hope you all like it too! :) also you can’t tell me Luke wouldn’t be the softest dad. Because he would! Let me know what you thought?!

Warning- swearing, angst, slow burn, long chapter, slight violence

Pairing- Dark!Poe x Skywalker!reader

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

“Hey, Snips.”

A smile grows on your lips at the sound of the soft and familiar voice greeting you, at the incredibly strong and positive force that surrounded you, vibrating off like calm waves from one single person.

Your eyes drifted up to see her striped montrals come to view first, before you sat up and took in her whole ghostly being. Noticing the same, familiar warm grin plastered on her gentle and orange features. Showing that even if she was a ghost, that one could look so lively. Glowing with a happiness that was yet to be matched by any living person. While her eyes shone a brighter and deeper blue than that blue hue that permanently surrounded her whole being.

Your grin widened and you instantly matched her soft and excited tone; “Hey, Master Tano.”

“Sunbathing?” She queried.

You sigh and fall back on the grass, “more like waiting. Patiently. Very patiently.”

“The new Padawan not here yet?” Master Tano—Ahsoka, asked—her name was still hard to get used to. Even if it has been years since she’s been correcting you, almost begging you to call her Ahsoka. Saying that your relationship was that much more than one of a Padawan and Master. “We’re friends. Best friends.” She would say. “No need for formalities.” She was right of course, but it was formalities that were permanently engraved in your mind.

Thanks dad.

You shake your head and from the corner of your eye watch as Ahsoka leans back, resting her hands by her sides on the grass. Looking as if she was and could take in the warmth of the sun on her face, her eyes on the sky, but her attention solely on you as you continued speaking. “No, she’s late.”

“She’ll show. Just got to be patient.” She chuckles, “more patient.”

You scoff, “Hmm, aren’t you supposed to be busy doing...I don’t know ghost stuff? Y’know instead of stalking me?”

Ahsoka giggles and snaps back with equal the attitude, “aren’t you supposed to be training?”

You chuckle and sit up to fully face her and quip. “I have a schedule, remember?” Ahsoka meets your gaze and the white marking on her right eyebrow bone lifts, shooting you curious look; “early morning, get up, get ready for the day, meditate, then join dad, Jacen and Ben for breakfast with the other Padawans. After that chores, then annoy Jacen. Not done yet, because this Padawan was supposed to come, so, that’s still on hold. But after that it’s talk with my favorite Jedi Master. Check.”

Ahsoka grins, “right on.” She then meets your fist to share a light fist bump at your comment.

You continue, “then more chores. Training with you or dad. Lastly annoy Ben before going to sleep and ending my day.”

“For such a busy person,” Ahsoka teases, “you’re surely doing a whole lot of nothing.”

“Ha. Ha. Funny.”

Ahsoka shrugs nonchalantly, “I know. Must be a Skywalker shared thought. Your grandfather thought I was funny too.”

You shake your head and smirk, “I’m sure he did.” Before you could add something else, the sound of a motor catches your attention, making you jump to your feet and look past the jungle trees, blocking the sun from your eyes with your hand to get a better view at the approaching speeder and who was riding it.

“You think that’s the Padawan?” Ahsoka questioned as she stood up to watch the same thing.

You shrug, “I don’t know…” you trail off, catching sight of what appeared to be a man. His face became more distinguishable the closer he got. A head of dark curls visible first before the sun hit and made clear of the tan face he carried. “Nope. Not the Padawan.” You interjected at the discovery of the seemingly young man on the speeder heading your way.

“Well, we'll talk later, okay? So you can tell me all about the cute visitor.” Ahsoka added with a final smile, her face and body fading away until there was nothing but the view of your father's jedi temple and the young man now a couple feet in front of you.

He gets off his parked speeder bike and his eyes fall on you before they begin to search for something behind you.

“Hello.” You greet with a warm grin, pulling the guys brown eyes back to you with an added smile on his lips.

“Uh, hi.”

You clasp your hands in front of you and search his face for a moment. Coming to a full conclusion that this was not your wanted Padawan; “since you don’t seem to be the Padawan I’m waiting for, I’m going on a whim here to say you’re here for Jacen?”

The young man's eyes widen in recognition at the sound of the name. “Yeah actually, he said he was going to be here.”

You scoff and shake your head, “oh well, of course he’s not here.” You look over your shoulder to see if your brother was anywhere in sight, but alas and to no surprise he wasn’t. “He’s probably busy. And I emphasize the word busy, sucking faces with his girlfriend or smoking. Sorry. You’re welcome to wait or I can go search for him if you want.”

The young man chuckles. A laugh that was meant whole heartedly and not feigned, his shoulders shaking as he did something so simple—“I’m fine. I think I’m in perfect company until he comes.”

You feel a heat crawl on your cheeks, suddenly being overwhelmed by the flustering state he put you in. A first, and a action not done by anyone before..until now; “Oh, well,” you smile and fumble to find any more words without making them sound like gibberish. He was a couple years older than you, you needed to remember that. Being your brother's friend and all. But when the sun caught and brightened the charming grin on his lips; one that showed how perfectly white his teeth were, how his eyes showed the same amount of happiness and glow you couldn’t help but grow more flustered.

What the hell was wrong? This is not you. Pfft.

Seeing your current state, he leaned his body on his speeder and proceeded to introduce himself with the same smile. “I’m Poe. Poe Dameron.”

You twist your Padawan braid between the pad of your index and thumb finger and smile shyly. “I’m y/n Skywalker. Jacen’s sister.”

“Oh, yeah he’s told me about you,” he points, “his as he says and I quote, “my annoying little sister.”

You scoff again, “Well I never said he was my favorite so. Whatever.” You sigh, “anyway if you want I can take you to him, or I can take you to the mess hall while you wait. I made food that hasn’t gotten touched, it would be a shame to throw it away. If you’re hungry that is.” But maybe it’s because you had no friends to eat your food. Your father wasn’t here and Jacen and Ben were somewhere around, the only friends you did have couldn’t eat because they were ghosts of past Jedi. Maybe it’s time to make friends with living people...but then again, they aren’t fun as the ghosts you hang out with. So, it’s better they way you are.

Poe shrugs, “sure I’m up for it.”

You grin and turn to guide him towards the hall, but when you try, the one and only, Jacen, appears a couple feet away with Ben Solo in tow. Looking like a matching set next to one another. One is never far from the other, like twins almost. Only they weren’t that. Looking as always, or at least Jacen all high mighty like he ruled this temple and those in it. Stuck up silly boy. Not at all how Ahsoka described your grandfather or grandmother to be. Sure they had flair to their step, being who they were, but Jacen over passed flair and went straight to stuck up, spoiled daddy’s boy. At least Ben wasn’t that way, even if he was considered a Prince; he was like his mother in that way, sweet and more genuine. Even if Jacen did get to him at times.

Anyhow, disregarding your cousin and brother's demeanor's, you let out an annoyed sigh, noticing right away the glare on Jacen’s pale and slim face, his blue eyes almost seeming to show a red hue due to his anger. A detail that was caused by the sun reflecting on his irises, one if you hadn't noticed such an effect would have thought his eyes changed colors with his aggravated mood. And for what reasons was he mad? Going by the glare he threw to his friend, and you were guessing here, would be because his friend was talking to you—when did he decide to be the caring older brother?

“Dameron,” your brother smiles, “I’m sorry I’m late, man.” For such a cold glare, he knew how to give a warm and genuine welcome. “I hope my sister wasn’t bothering you”

You frown and huff, feeling him very smoothly tug you towards him without showing Poe his true intentions of why he had pulled you away—“You’re rude and maybe if you were early I wouldn’t have to greet your friends.” You snap.

Jacen’s eyes drift to meet your own, his jaw clenching and showing you a feigned smile. “Go, dads back, go greet him.”

“Fine.” You turn to Poe one last time and offer him one last smile. “I’ll see you around, Poe.” Said man smiles in return, not really caring for your brother's death glare. Not like you cared either—Using a bit of the force you spin back on your heels and offer Ben a warm smile before leaving the group of boys and heading towards your father's strong force presence. Unknowingly keeping Poe's attention on you as your father soon came into view, a warm and kind smile on his lips at the sight of you welcoming him back from a failed recruitment mission.

“Dad!” Quickly you throw your arms around his neck and feel his own arms wrap around you to return your embrace, the long sleeves from his Jedi robes becoming a warm secure blanket on your back. As his familiar natural citrus smell engulfs your nose in its refreshing smell. A welcoming smell, just like he was a welcoming sight after what felt too long being without him.

“Hey, kid.” He warmly greets, pulling away from the embrace to cradle your cheek, “is it just me or is it every time I come back from being away you just get older?”

You shrug nonchalantly and refer to his graying hair. “I think you’re the one getting older.”

He chuckles and pulls away, shrugging off the pack hanging from his shoulder, his eyes looking for who you presumed was Jacen. “Where’s your brother?”

Yep that was it.

You scoff, “off being an ass.”

He raises an eyebrow to your choice of word, a reaction you knew wasn’t welcomed lightly, or at all. He wasn’t a fan of profanity, especially since you were to set an example to the other students since you were who you were. It didn’t stop you though, and you knew he let some bad choice words slip himself, you’ve heard him.

“Sorry.” You mutter.

He shakes his head and proceeds to pull out a small bag from his pack. “I stopped by Naboo before coming back here and when I was there I got you this.” He pulls your hand that was resting at your side to place the pouch on your hand, his smile glowing with happiness. “It isn't anything big, but I hope you like it.” Not being to hold your anticipation, you open the pouch and pull out a silver chain with a japor snippet charm hanging from it. The simple yet meaningful gift makes you grin and wrap him in another hug. “I made one for you brother too—I carved it out myself, I just needed something to hang it from. It’s like the one your grandfather gave your grandmother. It's supposed to mean good fortune. And well when I’m gone for too long so you can remember me.”

“I love it.” You happily exclaim as you feel him place a kiss on the crown of your head. Pulling away shortly after to discover something extra in the pouch. Treats from Naboo, his favorite treats, just like yours. A gift you knew he added so you’d share; “Thank you, dad.”

He wraps his arm around your shoulder and begins to guide you into the temple, the same kind smile on his face as he added with equally as kind words, “love you kid.”

——

(Ben Solo p.o.v)

“Where’s my daughter?”

Ben blinks, his lips parting try to form any word, just any word. To explain in the best way possible to his uncle and former Master that the only daughter he had. The last breathing child he had was being held captive by Snoke inside the First Orders capital ship. Of course he could just simply release that news to him like that. But by the look on his face, he preferred to let it out as easy as possible.

“She’s alive, I’m going to go back for her,” Ben revealed confidently, earning a narrowed look regardless of his choice of words. “Whatever it takes.”

Ben’s mother began to walk towards her brother, a softened look expressed on Luke's eyes, his attention falling on her for a second, his concerned expression appearing again as Ben finished speaking. “Possibility is that the ship they had her on isn’t going to be in the same coordinates, but I know people, I can search here for their location. I will go back for her, I promise.”

Luke sighed, “she’s my only daughter. I can’t…” he paused for a short second, if Ben hadn’t been paying attention to Luke, it would be an action that would have gone unnoticed, just like the crack in his voice. “I won’t lose her too. I’ll go with you.”

With you? Really? Is that what he said?

First, no one except for y/n herself knew where he was after he isolated himself. Second this is the first time in years Luke has ever talked to Ben. His mother sure, a couple times before he completely cut contact, but it had been years since anyone had seen him until now. Did he just expect Ben to know where he was?

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed his lips parting to say his peace before Luke interjected. “I can’t stay like this for too long.” He explained, referring to his current...state. “I shared the coordinates of where I am with your mother, come to me and we’ll go get my daughter.”

Before Ben could even nod to agree with what he suggested, or commanded, Luke disappeared, leaving nothing but simple coordinates in his mother’s mind through their force connection.

Ben cleared his throat and let his eyes wander the crowd that had gathered, noticing that they had begun to disperse at the sight of Luke gone and Ben’s hardened gaze searching the crowd. All of them pretending that they were now “busy”. Bullshit—“Let’s search for the coordinates on the datapads.” Ben said to his mother, her gaze turning to see him and expressing her motherly concern. Even after she had slapped him.

Well maybe he deserved that.

“Let’s get you patched up first, Ben.”

Ben shook his head and stubbornly began to head towards the datapads inside base. His words somewhat wavered as he walked ahead. “no, first we get those coordinates down, before anything else.”

“You’re hurt.”

“It doesn’t matter.” He cut her off, “y/n is still out there. I-I can’t and won’t let them keep her as some prisoner. The longer she’s out there, the higher the possibility it is for her to get hurt.” Ben sighed, “we know how she is.”

His mother sighed, unsure of what to really say to ease his worry. “she’s like her father, Ben. She’s strong and patient, she’s going to be okay.” She tried assuring him, but it didn’t at all coax his worry. That reason was exactly why he was worried. “She’d want you looked out after first.”

Ben sighed, “I know. But let’s just first figure out where he is.” Having no other choice, his mother stopped trying to tell Ben otherwise. She knew she wouldn’t win in this argument.

But maybe she should have, basing off the stares he was getting the further he walked into base with his torn clothing, bruised face and busted lip. It’s like they’ve haven’t seen someone hurt before, or seen him. Maybe it would have been better if he had gone somewhere else that wasn’t here….

“And you tell me who can outrun a band of bounty hunters with a inch of fuel left in their ship?”

“You.”

“I’m not one to brag, but yeah. Me.” The old man chuckles, straightening out the invisible wrinkles on his jacket and receiving a smack on the arm by the tall and hairy Wookiee sitting beside him not mere seconds later. “And Chewie. Don’t worry buddy I didn’t forget you.”

Yeah it was definitely better if he had chosen to travel somewhere else.

The old man’s dark brown eyes spot Ben from across the room, his eyes widening in recognition, the smile that grew faltering until it completely fell at the sight of Ben’s visible wounds.

“When did dad get back?” Ben quietly questioned his mother who walked behind him, his hand flying to his ribs at the sharp sting of pain.

“Earlier today.”

Ben hummed, making his way to his father regardless of his current feelings on him. A noticeable happy look on his father's face once he reached him. Not one that really made it on Ben’s face, but he tried. He was trying. “Dad, Chewie.” His eyes shifted to the pilot his father had shown off to. One of y/n’s friends….special friends; His breath hitched and his eyes drifted nervously to the ground with a very faint and shy smile spreading on his lips. “Hi, Mara.” Said girl smiled and offered him a short nod, her dark eyes searching for only one person who wasn’t by his side. The smile she contained slowly falling.

“Where’s Jaina?”

Who?

Ben blinked, an obvious puzzled look growing on his face, until the light bulb in his head went off a couple minutes later—right, y/n’s fake name to keep her real identity a secret. Right. “She’s….” Ben blanked again, a wave of guilt crashing within him. “She’s..not here.”

Mara answered with a soft “oh”, his theory of her answering with just silence, debunking as she looked up at him with concern. “Are you okay? Do you need me to patch you up? I have some free time.”

His dad tried to hide his proud smile behind his hand, but Ben caught the gesture and hoped Mara didn’t. Ben offered her an assuring smile nonetheless and ignored his dad. “uhh no,” he swallowed thickly at how much more nervous he was beginning to get, “later?”

She smiled and nodded, “okay, I’m here all day so,” she grinned at her own joke before finishing her comment. “Come look for me when you want.”

Ben offered a short nod in agreement and watched quietly as she walked away with Chewbacca, his gaze lost on her figure as she swayed her hips in a confident way, he smiled shyly at the thought of talking to her later, until all the excitement went away when his dad broke him from his stupor, expressing his concern for Ben’s beloved cousin. Or sister as everyone knew her here. “Ben what’s wrong? Where’s y/n? What happened?”

Ben responded with silence, turning to walk towards his intended destination, hearing as both parents paced behind him, ultimately having to force himself to answer with a grumble. “I’m going to get her.”

“Ben.”

“I’m okay, dad, really.” Ben winced softly, his face swallowed by the holo-computers bright blue hue in front of him. Ben’s fingers typing a whirlwind of buttons in a matter of seconds before looking over his shoulder to his mother who had barely caught up to him. “Could you please give me the coordinates.”

His mother nodded and pushed Ben to the side, quickly inserting what was needed before a strange new map flashed on, marking a path to the unknown regions of the galaxy. “Are you sure this is it?” Ben wondered before he zoomed into the new marked planet, his black eyebrows furrowing as he tried to decipher what it was and how the hell he was going to get there. He couldn’t go in the ship the First Order had so generously gifted him. Mainly because he knew it would be tracked. And he couldn’t on any of the ships here because they were all just one seater fighter ships. The only thing he could do was—Ben’s eyes slowly slid to his father, a soft sigh escaping his lips at the thought.

“Yes it’s there.” His mother remarked. “It wouldn’t be wrong.”

Ben ran a hand through his hair and then rested his hands on the table. Letting his mother explain to his father what this was and what had gone on just moments ago with her long lost twin brother. A mixture between excitement and confusion expressed on his father's face.

“Dad…” Ben paused and sighed again, hesitating to even continue. Just digging the heel of his boot into the stone ground, barely now feeling the high heat of D’Qar on him. Making sweat beads roll down his forehead as he tried to ask his father one simple question. “Could I use the Falcon?”

“To get your uncle and save y/n?” His father asked as he crossed his arms over his chest; Ben nodded stiffly, letting that be the only reaction his father needed to continue with a smug grin. “Of course. But your mother, chewbacca and I are going too.”

Ben froze and his eye twitched at the comment, his lips parting to protest. “But—”

“No.” His father interjected. “You’re crazy to think we’re letting you do this alone after what happened. Your partner in crime may be gone, but we’re here.”

“But mom has a base to run, she can’t leave.” Ben tried to argue, his father as stubborn as him.

“It’s okay. She can leave someone in charge. We won’t be gone for long. We’re going with you, end of discussion.”

Ben sighed and hesitated for a moment, knowing damn well that there was no point in arguing. “Fine.”

His mother and father smiled before Han added another comment. “Gives us the excuse to finally reunite the old crew. How about that?”

Ben feigned a smile and offered a short nod. “Great. Just great.” Well this was going to be an adventure—if only this was a different situation and y/n was here. She would have made this more tolerable. She would have loved his father's idea. She would have jumped for joy.

Stars. If only she were here…

——

“I am one with the force,” you slowly breathe out of your nose, trying with everything within you to feel a spark of something, feel the presence of anyone. Ahsoka, your grandfather, Ben or your father. Just anyone so that you could feel less hopeless; “I am one with the force. I am—”

“Does that really work?”

When did the door open?

You sigh and open your eyes with a dread, instantly being welcomed by Poe Dameron, his figure in the small dark room upside down as you balanced on one hand. In attempts to try and feel your force ability. Disappointingly enough though, coming out empty, especially now with the annoying distraction and his...cute white and orange droid by his feet; “What?”

Poe cocks his head to side, shifting the helmet underneath his arm and placing the plate of food down on the metal desk, a cocky smirk on his lips. “Mediating? And all your Jedi whatever?”

You huff, “not anymore since you’re here. Annoying me.” You remark, making him scoff playfully and for the droid to chirp to defend his master. His little soft sounds not at all affecting you. After all, you were friends with artoo. That droid was worse—regardless having no other option, you swiftly flipped back to stand on your feet and hesitate to face him, sighing as you did.

“I brought you food,” Poe points to the tray displaying a healthy amount of vegetables, what looked to be steaming mashed potatoes and fruits—At Least the First Orders food option wasn’t as bad as them.

Your eyes drift to the food and you shake your head, “I’m not hungry.” You cross your arms over your chest and shoot him a pointed look, ignoring the way your stomach growled as the smell of the food hit your nose.

“The guards say you haven’t eaten.” He grumbles, reaching to grab the plate, “eat or you’ll starve.”

You shoot him a glare and stay grounded as he begins walking towards you, his steps heavy as they hit the metal ground while his face clearly came to view under the white dim lights on the ceiling, his gaze not really expressing a concern, but an annoyance to your defiance; “you told me to rot in my cell, I’m doing that.”

Poe sighs heavily, “it’s a figure of speech. I was angry that you lied to me. Don’t they have that where you’re from?”

“I’m from Yavin-4 so you tell me.” You quip. Standing straighter as he comes to a stop in front of you.

“Eat, y/n.”

You grab the tray from his hand and grab the bowl of mashed potatoes, a small smirk faintly showing on your lips as you cupped your hand around the bottom rim and lifted it off the tray to shove it in his face. “Why don’t you.”

Poe’s jaw clenched as he reacted quickly by wiping the food off his face, his dark eyes burning holes inside your head. His lips parted to most likely argue, or scream at you, but instead he clenched his jaw once more. Letting the tray drop to the ground with a loud clang, the food remaining spilling on the floor by your feet, and his gloved hand clenching into a fist at his side before he turned to leave the room (cell) in a huff. His droid following him with concern and a hurried pace. Again, being left all alone with nothing but your failed attempts to reconnect with the force.

Usually when there were those moments when you felt alone, you usually liked to very carefully grab the japor snippet that would hang around your neck on a metal chain, but when you lifted your hand this time to try and feel the soft wooden charm, you only touched soft skin. No reminder of your dad, just the feeling of true and pure loneliness—Maybe the better choice was not to take it off before you arrived here. At least then maybe there would be something to keep you company, or keep you from feeling less alone. But there was no room for maybe’s anymore….

With a shaky exhale you drop to the ground, your eyes watering for a moment before they caught sight of the food spilled on the ground; having nothing else to do and really just distracting yourself, picking it up and placing it back on the tray. Feeling only a small, tiny bit of an inkling of remorse for what you did to Poe—He may be rude and annoying but….he..he was trying something nice.

Eww that even hurt to think.

Catching you by surprise the door slid open, different more lighter footsteps following as they walked inside, informing you immediately that it wasn’t Poe who returned, and it wasn’t Rey. You discreetly peeked over your shoulder as the door slid closed, spotting a black uniform reflecting the gleam of white light, a recognizable stormtrooper helmet on its head and a new tray of food in its hands—“there's people that can do that, y’know.”

Ah, now you knew who it was. “Oh, look, Poe sent in his apologetic stormtrooper.” You turn back around and focus on cleaning up the food. “Go away.”

“Finn.” He corrects you. “It’s actually Finn.”

You scoff as you sit up, still letting your back face him. “Okay.”

“You haven’t ate.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. “You too, huh? You know I thought that whole reason of being a prisoner was to torture me. Not to treat me like a child.”

“You’re a guest.”

Finally you roll your head over your shoulder to make sure he saw your raised eyebrow and narrowed gaze. “Funny.” You spin around where you sat to face him with the same reaction. “Tell your master that I’m not hungry.”

Finn nods slowly and grabs a metal chair, twisting it around so he could take a seat. “I won’t leave until you will.”

“Then I guess you’re staying here all day.”

“I guess I will.” He quipped back, sounding exactly how Ben would. So paternal. It sucked; “tell you what, Nomad was going to do this later, but, I can take you to a better room if you eat.”

You scoff. “I’m not some pet or some child that you can bribe!”

Finn sighed, even if his face was covered it was audible that he sighed through his nose. “You’re snippy, you know that?” He paused and shrugged, “look I know you’re not a child or some pet, but I can’t promise you anything else, okay? Plus this room sucks, it’s dark and depressing, your new room will be bigger and have a window. Gives you room to walk and see the stars. But only if you at least have a couple bites of food.”

You huff and hesitate to stand up, biting the inside of your cheek and drifting your eyes to see the soft red lights that decorated the ground as you contemplated your answer. “You’re weird y’know? Different from the other stormtroopers.”

Finn shrugged, “I’ll take that as a complement.”

You meet the visor where his eyes are meant to be and groan softly. “Fine, I’ll eat.” You take the tray of food he offers and sit in another chair across from him, noticing as he crossed his arms over his chest in a cocky way.

“Wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

A scoff escapes your lips before a faint smile tugged at the corner of your lips as you answer him, “I guess not.” Finn shrugs and you simply roll your eyes as you finally take a bite of your food. “Happy?”

He quips, “very.”

——

“You’ve got a smile brighter than any of those stars.”

A smile slowly tugs at your lips at the faint memory sounding in your mind, whilst your eyes get lost on the view of the dark and cold vacuum of space in front of you, pretending that if you thought hard enough, you could see the memory play in the twinkling stars. It was the only form of distraction to keep you from really feeling what your mind, whole being wanted you to really feel.

“Any more compliments and she’ll turn out like you, Anakin.” Master Kenobi retorted, making your grandfather grin smugly.

“And that’s wrong? She is my only granddaughter after all. Maybe I want her to be just like me.”

You chuckle and keep listening to what Master Kenobi had to say in return. “Ahsoka and I enjoy her the way she is. Don’t corrupt her please.”

A knock sounds on the door, pulling you from your stupor and causing your smile to fall. Only watching from the reflection of the transipersteel that Nomad had opened the door, his figure stuck at the entrance of the door, the bright light of the halls growing his shadow on a ground that was a hundred times more smoother than the cold hard metal, grate of a floor that was in your cell before. This cell had a bed. A bigger bed than you’ve ever had in your life, with a bigger room that could probably fit the small boxes you would stay in at base a hundred times over. The sheets were a dark silk heaven...Like how you imagine a cloud to feel, and there was a huge bathroom that was a part of your “room” (cell), and a walk-in closet that was only half full with First Order clothes you would never actually wear, but it had them hanging from the racks. Overall your excitement was obvious and not expected. They had spoiled you to the max with this room. Even if it was locked from the outside; which actually brought you to the conclusion that there was some reason behind this relocation.

Beside just the fact that they were obligating you to stay here alive.

“Do you need something?”

The sound of his weight shifting to his other foot echoed throughout the room, the sound nor him actually pulling your full attention just yet.

“Do you want to get out of your room?”

You sigh and bite the inside of your cheek, “cell you mean.” You correct him.

Nomad sighs loudly, “do you?”

“Depends. Am I going home?”

“No.” He deadpans before letting silence engulf the whole room. The sound of his helmet clicking before it came off was the only noise that traveled around, the sound of his voice much softer now without his helmet following shortly after. “Rey is gone on some mission. I need someone to train with.”

You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, being quick with a retort. “Your girlfriend’s gone so now you’re bugging me?”

Poe chuckled and was heard fully entering the room, letting the door slide shut behind him. “Not my girlfriend. She wishes she was. Plus I think you're more her type.”

“That, or she’s simply not into you.” You quip with a smug grin.

“Possibly.” He agreed, his footsteps stopping a couple feet behind you; “do you want to leave or not? I promise I’ll go easy, wouldn’t want to harm the pretty princess, y’know.”

You roll your eyes. “Stop calling me that, I’m not a princess. Far from it.”

“Your father is basically Jedi royalty, just like your last name, basically makes you one.”

“Nah.” You smirk, “the only princess I know is my cousin Ben. So.” Prince basically, but same thing. You loved to tease him. Got him ticked and got you happy.

“Come on. You don’t want to be stuck in here all day. It gets depressing.” Poe adds, making you grow quiet and not really thinking much of your answer before you answered with another sigh.

“Fine.” You finally turn to face Poe, seeing the cuffs already in his grip.

He noticed your gaze on the object and shrugged. “Trust issues. They’ll be off when we get to the training room.” Having no other choice you extend your hands and let him slap the cuffs on your wrists, watching as he put his helmet back on. Why? No idea. It’s not like he had trouble breathing like Darth Vader had, nor was it intimidating as his. It looked like any other helmet the stormtroopers with the black suits had on. You would have asked, but you didn’t feel like giving him the satisfaction that something about him remotely caught your attention. Unless it was his scar. But that wasn’t something you had the need to comment on anymore. Just like you didn’t comment on the silence that surrounded you both as he walked you to the training room. Walking past stormtroopers with the black uniforms that differed those with the usual get up. Again you wanted to comment, but again you chose not to. Just letting the silence continue until you arrive at the room, the cuffs soon getting taken off once you both are secured inside the unsurprisingly huge area.

“Here,” he says breaking the silence, handing you a new set of hand wraps as he took off his helmet with his other hand, his eyes traveling from what he offered you and up to you. “I’m not going to bite. Take them. And don’t wrap them on too tight, or you’ll open your wound on your hand.”

He remembered about that? You hardly did

With some small hesitation you chose to take the hand wraps from him and only mouth a soft ‘thank you’ before you took off the ugly long sleeved shirt they had put on you before, being in only the tank top underneath, just like he now was. You tried to avert your eyes, really tried, but found yourself looking at him regardless as you began to wrap one hand, noticing that he wasn’t built like before when you first met him, when he would hang out with Ben and your brother. No, he was older now, his arms weren’t as skinny as before, they had a lot more...muscle to them and his chest was much more..how does someone describe it? Toned? Just like his...abdominal area. It was all just stamped through his tight tank….

Wait a minute...no. No—hastily before he noticed you staring, you tore your eyes away and focused on what you were doing—was it hot in here? Stars. Fucking...

“You done?”

You swallow thickly again and nod. “Yep.” Before he was able to comment on anything you jumped up, and met him on the mat, looking around for any usual weapons you were used to training with. “Do I get to use any of my lightsabers?”

Poe shakes his head whilst he gets into a fighting stance. “Not until you don’t want to kill me and you don’t want to leave anymore.”

“I’m a prisoner inside your capital ship, Dameron, of course I will fight to leave. All the time.”

“Then you don’t get your lightsabers. Simple.”

You huff and get into your own fighting stance, a mixture between use of form V and the form Ashoka taught you. Carefully eyeing every movement Poe began to make as he paced around you, waiting for you to attack, watching with his own eyes as you shifted your body to be prepared for any attacks. Smirking once he got impatient and attacked first, letting you to quickly dodge his swing and swiftly return to your stance, kicking his side before swinging your other leg and missing as he ducked.

You grinned and slightly jumped back to avoid his move, shrugging as you added something with heavy breaths. “No training stick or anything? Or are you too afraid I’ll beat you?”

Poe hesitated to answer. Giving right away his thoughts, which was a clear ‘yes’. He might’ve responded with a ‘no’ but you knew.

Poe tried to swing again but you quickly caught his fist and smirked, twisting his arm a bit before jumping slightly to lock his neck with your legs and flipping him over to crash onto the mat. His hand you had pinned to the ground while with his other hand he was quick to tap your leg to call it quits—you did so and loosened your grip, letting him slip out and carefully touch his offended area, while he also tried to breath in air, his eyes on you expressing a mixture of something you couldn’t define; “damn, princess, who the hell taught you to fight?”

You push yourself up to your feet and shrug, “I’ve had multiple teachers throughout the years.”

“Your ghost friends?”

Your head whips to where he is and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion and shock. “You remember?”

Poe stands up and keeps rubbing his neck, using the force to summon a water bottle to his hand. Shooting you a look that read ‘yeah? Obviously.’

“Well them and myself.” Your frown returns to your face at the thought, “I wanted to be stronger so when I fought...Nomad. I’d win. I had to grow.”

Poe’s eyes drop and gulps down his water, licking his lips before he adds his other comment. “Well you have grown into yourself.” He smirks and you scoff, unable to tune him out as he continues. “I just mean you—never mind.”

You don’t press on the matter and look away from him, a sharp pain shooting to your palm repeatedly, making you quietly hiss from the pain. You bring your hand up and see the blood soaking through the wraps. Shit. You clench your hand into a fist and just try to ignore it until you were taken back to your cell. But you should’ve known better. Even if this room was big, it appeared almost small with just Poe and you here. He noticed; “I told you not to wrap it too tight. See now you opened your wound again.”

You huff and ignore him, hearing from behind you as he walked up behind until he stood close, his hand forcefully pulling your injured one. Carefully unwrapping the wrap and turning it to see the mess. “I can stitch it up.”

“No.” You answer bluntly, trying to pull your hand away from his grasp, but coming out unsuccessful as he pulled it back to him.

“I’m doing it.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

Poe shrugs and pulls you to sit on a nearby bench, moving away to get what he needed, not taking long in his leave and sitting right back down beside you, taking your hand in his once more and completely removing the hand wrap. Very delicately, in a touch you barely felt cleaning your deep cut you yourself caused when..you stupidly but bravely caught his blade with your hand. It was a move your grandfather would’ve been proud of and Ben would’ve disapproved. Saying ‘it's too dangerous. You’ll get hurt.’ Even if he does the same move too. Whatever—you keep your eyes downcast and just listen to your breathing, soon hearing Poe’s because of how close he sat by you. Unable to keep your eyes away before they drifted to watch what he did, slowly looking up to see his eyebrows furrowed and his gaze narrowed on your wound. Why was he being so nice?

“Why are you being so nice?” You question out loud.

Poe hesitates and inhales quietly before exhaling deeply, only briefly letting his eyes meet your own before choosing to answer. “You want to get an infection on your hand?”

“No.”

“You’re my guest, I like to treat my guests nice.” He adds, his gaze focusing on the needle in his hand, ignoring your scoff.

“If I was your guest, I wouldn’t be in a cell.”

“You’re in a room.”

“It’s locked from the outside. Forbidding me from going out like a cell would. So it’s a cell.”

Poe stops and looks up at you, parting his lips to argue but choosing to let the silence once again blanket you both. It wasn’t an uncomfortable one, but it was one that soon made you feel the remorse from what you did a while ago; “I’m sorry,”

His breath catches in his throat. He tried to pretend it didn’t, but you caught it. “For throwing the food at you. You didn’t deserve that. You were trying to be nice. I’m sorry.” You pause and a faint smile appears, “only for that though. You deserved me punching you.”

A very faint smile tugs at the corner of his lips, a soft amused huff of air leaving his nose, his gaze meeting with yours for a second before you looked away. Your attention perked up once he mentioned something…“you know when we met for the first time and after you left with your dad and Jacen finally was able to distract Ben with something he told me and I quote, “you’re my friend and as your friend I want to say this. My sister is off limits. I see or hear you talking to her in any sort of suggestive, flirtatious way I’ll hurt you.”

You scoff and smile wider, “he was an ass. I’m sorry.”

Poe shook his head and chuckled. “I didn’t listen, don't worry.”

The smile you had soon faded at the memory of what happened rushed in. Of that night, of who had killed him. The anger returns in a burning fury, causing you to pull your hand away, not caring if he was almost done—He noticed the shift in your emotions, not only by the force, but by the way your eyes watered and your face scrunched up in anger. He wanted to add something, but you cut him off sharply. “Take me back to back to my cell, I’m tired of being here and of you.”

Poe simply nodded and summoned the cuffs to his hand to slap them back on your wrists, his eyes drifting back up to your face to see the tears you tried to hold in. Choosing that only a simple “fine” was enough. Not daring to talk the rest of the way back to the place he called your room. Releasing the cuffs once you were inside, choosing at the last moment, thinking that you wouldn’t notice (when in fact you did) to leave the door unlocked.

A mistake on his part and something you took as an advantage.

——

With very quiet and careful steps you snuck out of your room, looking from hall to hall to make sure the ghost was clear. Once it was you walked down the halls to try and get to the hangar Ben had parked his ship. Hoping that it was still there to make your great escape. Biting the inside of your cheek as a nervous tick. The deeper you walked down the ships halls the tighter you bit down.

Ignoring the pain in your heart to leave your own beautiful purple lightsaber, and the green lightsaber your dad gave to you behind. It hurt your soul, but if you tried to find them you’d be caught, so unfortunately it was something you had to leave, hoping that one day you’ll get them back. Really hoping.

Finally by the miracle of the maker through the wide transparisteel the ship you had come in came to view. A grin spreading whilst you rushed inside the hanger and inside the ship. Lucking out when there were no stormtroopers around, or inside the ship; not like you hoped there would be or you waited to see them as you rushed to the cockpit, letting the necklace you were truly and deeply missing get forgotten until you were out in the safety of hyperspace.

Feeling the cold buttons from the control underneath your hand as it traveled to try and turn it on, feeling a cold breeze of air as you went unaware of the person who had snuck on, his voice breaking the silence that had filled in the small space, the suddenness of his voice causing your shoulders to jump in surprise; “what are you doing?”

Slowly you looked over your shoulder to see Poe standing stiffly by the entrance. His jaw clenched and his glare burned into you as he repeated in a deeper, angrier voice, “What are you doing?”

A/N- the Ben part got long, sorry :/ also let me know me know if you actually want more from his p.o.v since the og group is going to reunite. And if you want to share ideas on what you want to see when they do, let me know :) and before you ask, yes, our beloved reader is friends with force ghosts ;)

Tagged- @thescarletknight2014 , @softly-sad , @golden-guide , @abysshaven , @a-dorky-book-keeper , @kit-jpg , @mybarnesmyhero

Permanent taglist- @ms-dont-care , @commondazy , @paintballkid711

64 notes · View notes