🕷Envious or Jealous?🕸
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Miles Morales x fem reader (1 shot)
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• Envy or Jealousy?
• Siiiiiigh
• You were SO drawn between the two. You don't know how to feel. You don't actually hate Gwen, but, like...you couldn't help but feel BURNING irritation towards her. Why? Miles Morales. You have a serious crush on the guy, but it seems he's into her. So, now your feelings still remain stuck in your chest. Especially now!
• Last Saturday~
• "Ouch! Y/N, you're choking me!"
• "I wanna stop, really, but- Ah!"
• Right now, you two are currently swinging around Brooklyn. And you're clinging to Miles for dear life. Earlier, You jokingly asked him to take you around town. But, since he doesn't have a car (or know how to drive in gen') he decided to take you the fun way.
• "When are we gonna land!?"
• You shouted. The fear and adrenaline was REALLY getting to your bladder.
• "Let's get to the Brooklyn tower!"
• The what!?
• "That's like 100 miles away!"
• "Not the way we're going!"
• He laughed. Oh great. He's having the best time ever.
• "Let's cut this corner right here!"
• You tried to say you couldn't take it, but the swing made you shout once again. And, triggered your full lower organ.
• "You gotta put me down, I have to pee!"
• "Wait, what!?"
• "Hurry, it's coming!"
• "Hold on, lemme find a gas station!"
• After asking a sweet old lady to let you use her bathroom, the two of you now reside on top of a apartment building. (You took the stairs) You sighed, finally feeling content. You were moving at your own pace now.
• "It's a good thing she had bad eye sight,"
• Miles said, while plopping down next to you.
• "Otherwise she'd be the first one to know Spiderman's identity."
• You nodded. "That would be a problem. Old ladies are way better at technology than they used to be."
• ...
• As usual, nerve racking silence settled in. This was probably the only thing you hated about hanging out with him.
• Those awkward silences when you didn't know what to say and you'd start OPENLY checking him out. You had to hurry and pick a subject quickly!
• "So, um,"
• You said, a bit too loud.
• "Was it nice to swing with a passenger?"
• A bright smile spread across his face.
• "Well duh, I was laughing the entire time."
• Yes. The world's cutest laughs.
• "Even if you were shouting in my ear the entire time."
• "Hey!"
• You said, pushing his arm. What were you supposed to do? He didn't slow down for you at all. And this was your first time.
• "I haven't had this much fun since..."
• "The collider thing?"
• You finished. He gave a awkward chuckle and fumbled with his hands.
• "Yeah, I guess so."
• "Just been feeling a little friend sick"
• "Friend sick", he says. At FIRST it was. When you first discovered his secret, he UNLOADED his adventures onto you. And it was fun. Made you wanna meet 'em. But nowadays, all your crush does is reminisce about Gwen. Like, his NEWER relationships hold no meaning!
• "Ain't you always?" You said, imitating a cowgirl. Miles snickered. (The western accent always gets him)
• "Aren't you always."
• You repeated quietly. A familiar dark feeling coated your heart and you began to ask yourself questions. Why do you always do this to yourself? Why do you always make jokes when you feel like crap? Why do always ignore what's in your face? And WHY are you still being Gwen's replacement!?
• Feeling the truth starting to stab, you decided it's time to go.
• "Well, I gotta jet."
• You said, standing up quickly.
• "The 'rents want me over, again."
• Miles looked up at you. Disbelief was written all over his face.
• "Again?"
• "Again, dude."
• You whipped out your phone and nervously checked for a bus. Your hero, on the other hand, stared back at the view. A familiar dull frown was on his face. After totally NOT finding one, you shoved your hands in your pockets and cleared your throat.
• "Welp, see you at visions."
• "...See you at visions, Y/N."
• You faked a smile and headed for the stairs. Once again, despair spread through your body. Why couldn't you fallen for some other guy? Some guy that wasn't insanely cool and super sweet. And handsome and liked to draw. And FRICKIN wasn't in love with some other girl! Tears began to form at the corners of your eyes, but you wiped them away.
• Crying wasn't gonna change anything. Wasn't gonna change a damn thing.
• The present~
• Good news, you stopped losing sleep over him. Bad news...you're kinda ghosting him now. But you have a good reason. Finals! Finals were coming up. So, you chose now to get studying. Even if it was super boring and kinda lonely.
• Unfortunately though...Miles didn't seem too hunky-dory about your scarceness. (You understand, of course. You are a amazing friend.) He would try to grab your hands at the end of classes before you could run off.
• Or tap his foot against yours when you PURPOSELY sat diagonally from him at lunch, just to get your attention. And just texts pretty much every day. This drives you insane with guilt and butterflies. You didn't enjoy avoiding that handsome chocolate bar, but you also weren't jazzed about hearing about another girl all the time. (Or seeing her in his sketchbook, darn it.)
• So in a way...you were moving on. In a harsh 'let's forget we ever knew each other' way. It's sucks, but... at the end of the day, you weren't sent to this school to fall in love. You came to learn computer animation. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity. And darn it, you weren't gonna waste it! On god!
• (Darn Miles and the footsies! Sent electricity through you every time)
• "See you, Y/N."
• "Bye, you guys!"
• You said, as got out of a pink van. The passengers were your older sisters. One of 'em got you to spill about your recent predicament, and ended up taking you on a joyride. Y'know, to de-stress. It was fun to ride with all of them again. Heck, they even FED you!
• So now, sleepy and very full, you made your way to your room. Hopefully, your roommate was already asleep, you had webtoon to read. And you don't read it quietly!
• "Alright!"
• You whispered/shouted as you saw the sleeping figure on the top bunk. Out like a light! Thank goodness too. She would've lectured you for sneaking out again. You yawned and scanned your room for your pajamas.
• "Ahem."
• You froze. The "ahem" was pretty masculine. Who was in your room!? You swallowed and turned around slowly. It wasn't a murder, but it was worse. Right behind you was Miles, GLOWING in the dark. (His suit was) He looked pretty ticked. Hopefully...the bad mood was from a villain or something.
• "So, where have you been recently?"
• The sentence felt SUPER heavy. Like you were getting questioned by your parents. But, you didn't panic! There's a excuse reason for everything! You forced a laugh, hoping to give the illusion of chillness.
• "Me? I've been-"
• "Busy? Oh, I know."
• Sweet Jeremy, this was already going south. (How many times did you use that?) Your lungs worked double time, as you waited for him to say something else.
• "Wanna tell me the real reason why you've been dodging me?"
• No way. It'd be a blizzard in hell when you told him the truth.
• "Not today, partner." You said, in a surprisingly calm manner. "Probably not ever..."
• A heavy silence laid in the small room. Why did you say that!? Now was not the time to be funny. Reluctantly, you finally looked Miles in the eyes. Man's looked hurt and confused. God, you wish it didn't have to be this way. But at the end of the day-
• Thwip!
• ...A web was attached to your shirt? You were yanked forward and crashed into his chest.
• "Mile-?" You were cut off by finger on lips. He lifted you up and quietly wrapped your legs around his waist. And made his way to the window. Wait!? He wasn't gonna KILL you over this, right? Right!?
• (News flash, you lived.)
• On the roof of visions~
• The way up was nerve racking. Not only were you being carried up SIDEWAYS, but Miles was stone faced the whole time. In no time, you guys got up to the top. He set you down, but immediately gripped shoulders.
• "What the hell, Y/N."
• Oh boy, he's cussing now.
• "Like, seriously. What the hell." He repeated with more anger this time. You wanted to explain...but didn't. He groaned, sliding his hands down his face.
• "Oh my gosh!"
• "Is it the Spiderman thing!?"
• Wait, what?
• "The Spiderman thing?" You repeated. Where...was this conversation going?
• "Yeah,"
• He replied, in a somewhat calmer tone.
• "Does...me being Spiderman bother you now?"
• "Of course not." You loved that he was Brooklyn's hero. It was one of his many perks.
• "Then, what is it!?"
• Miles grabbed your shoulders once again.
• "Y/N...I think I'm gonna go insane if you keep avoiding me."
• Your heart nearly stopped beating. In fact it sped up. What the-?
• "What about Gwen!?"
• Miles's face changed. You clamped your hand over your mouth. Crap, you said that outloud!
• "What?"
• Welp, the cat's already out of the brown paper bag. "Yeah,"
• "What about Gwen?" You retorted. Slowly, the fear from earlier was melting into bitterness.
• "Gwen? Y/N, what does she even have to do with this?"
• You scoffed. "She has EVERYTHING to do with this!"
• You shoved your polished nail in front of his face.
• "I know YOU like her Miles!"
• This felt insane. You're actually saying these words outloud.
• "So what's the problem with me being gone, huh!?"
• "What do you!?"
• Don't say it, Y/N...
• "What do you..."
• Don't say it!
• "What do you still need me around for?"
• ...Another cat, free from the bag. Slowly, your nose began to burn and your vision blurred. Darn it. You really didn't wanna cry. But saying it outloud, opened your floodgates. This situation really blows.
• Your crush, on the other hand ,was silent. He was probably wasn't frowning anymore, but you didn't check. Seeing his handsome face would just make you feel even more embarrassed.
• "Y/N."
• Miles started. You sniffled loudly, but didn't look up. He fumbled with his hands, thinking of his next sentence carefully. He took a deep breath and grabbed your hands. Despite this, you still let your head hang down.
• "Guess I talked about Gwen a little too much, huh?"
• You grumbled which made him snicker. Darn his stupid cute laughs. He tilted his head.
• "Can I wipe your face now?"
• You shook your head. Being cute wasn't gonna work now. You wanted to be left alone. You heard a 'here we go' and grip on your hands lowered.
• (Miles squatted down. He was gonna see your pretty face.)
• "Y/N."
• "I'm sorry."
• You twitched but said nothing.
• "I didn't mean to act like our friendship didn't matter."
• "I just..."
• Can't stop thinking about her. Miss her so much. Regret not kissing her. What, Miles!? WHAT!?
• "Get the feeling I'll never her again."
• ...What?
• "Or...any of the friends I made."
• "I just...wanna keep the memories alive, I guess."
• You sniffed and looked down at him.
• "So...you were actually friend sick?"
• Your eyes were met his hazel ones. (Which were kinda sparkling because you're talking.) He nodded. You heaved a tired sigh. This cleared up a ton, but you had another question.
• "Miles."
• This was it. The moment of truth.
• "How do you feel about me then?"
• Why would you go insane? Was your real question.
• His eyes widened and looked down. What does that mean? He gripped your hands and you helped pull him up. Guy was beaming.
• "Okay, let's do this!"
• Let's do this-?
• !!!
• You were kissed. Still being kissed, actually! This...you can't describe it. Did you go to space? Is this a dream? Are you dead!? Your brain immediately switched back on when he pulled away.
• "Y/N,"
• Your nails dug into his hands.
• "I really like you."
• And just like that, you were back in space! You looked around quickly and spotted Miles's jacket. Swiftly, you grabbed it and screamed. Your face was smushed into it, but the scream was still pretty loud. After a few seconds, you raised your back up.
• "Sorry."
• You muttered, awkwardly returning his jacket. You fixed up your hair and tried to act chill.
• "So, um,"
• "For...how long?"
• He looked down. Now he's getting shy!? "Around when we first met."
• Butterflies burst into your chest. That long!? And to think you fell for him in last Christmas. He met you in March! Were they're signs or...?
• "I'm such an idiot."
• You muttered. No more confusion, no more misunderstandings.
• You yanked him forward.
• "Miles...let's date!"
• Alright! You said it. Unfortunately, your party (sorta) shut down when you were met with a confused look.
• "Wait?"
• "You like me too?"
• You really contemplated on saying "duh", but you didn't wanna spoil the sweet moment. So you took the cute route.
• "Well, I wouldn't of thrown a hissy fit, if I wasn't jealous."
• Miles's eyes gleamed. But in a mischievous way. ?...
• Holy-!
• You just revealed yourself!
• "So, that's why you bugged out."
• Nooo, you didn't wanna talk about this! It's embarrassing now! You grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the edge.
• "Can we go now? It's cold up here."
• He bent down for you, but did NOT drop the subject.
• "That's like... almost adorable. And mean."
• You groaned into his shoulder. Can he please drop it!? You'll apologize properly later. Really!
• "Y'know, I think jealousy is a cute look for you."
• The embarrassment levels are getting high...!
• "You get all quiet and grumpy-"
• "Miles!"
• "So, are you ready?"
• He whispered in your ear. You swatted him away. Geez...
• "I'm ready, I'm ready."
• "Okay,"
• He said. Slowly, he slid his hand down your arm and...
• Shot your web shooter.
• (It's Miles hand-me-down)
• That's right. You let this caramel macchiato convince you to swing with him again. But you weren't a passenger this time. No, you were actually DOING the swinging.
• "Remember, if you miss, you're still connected to me, Okay?"
• "You won't fall on my watch."
• (Your guy's waist are tied together with webs. Better safe than sorry, am I right?)
• You smiled and took a deep breath.
• Leap of faith, leap of faith, leap of faith...!
• Let's do this!
• "Wait, wait!"
• Miles randomly cut in, nearly making you fall. You looked back at him.
• "What, Miles?"
• He turned you around.
• "Your mask is still up."
• (Another thing of Miles that shrank)
• He placed a quick kiss on your lips and pulled it down.
• "Ready?"
• You nodded.
• "Ready, ready."
• You intertwined your fingers with his and you two jumped off. This might traumatize you or give you a even WORSE fear of heights but...you were with Miles. He'd find a way to make sure you'd feel a-okay.
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This was created way back in summer! Late summer. Either I forgot to post it or I started working on something else😅 Hope you enjoyed this gem and I'll see you later. Stay cool😎
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Underrated Emotions: Envy
It is common to a character to have explicit happiness, sadness, anger, grudge, love, and the others emotions that are easily felt by the writer. It is not a bad thing to put your character to feel like you do, they're a part of your imagination after all. But sometimes writers forget that a human being is much more complicated than the main emotions of Disney Inside Out.
Envy is one of my main emotions actually, I am not proud of it but I think it is pretty much justified as a transgender, thank you very much. This feeling is usually personified in villains and antagonists, but the brightest main character can be an envious bitch. Envy is an ugly feeling. Like a disease, it consumes you from the inside and it is near impossible to get rid of.
People get envious for many reasons, but it is never a random reaction. A kid might be envious of the other because a shiny toy. A teenager might be envious of the other because of their relationship with their family. It can have so many variations that can suit a character that I'm having a hard time to find a character who couldn't feel that way.
It usually is a passive feeling that is always there somehow. For me it is strong and loud and ashamed, but I could never put all of my agony in words. When feeling envious, people tend to look with longing in their eyes, it is hard to look away from the object of your feeling be it love, hatred or envy. You can have it as a possessive reaction, as an aesthetic one, as an wealth one, etc.
The ones who suffer from it like I do don't voice their ugly feelings. We do not want the look in our eyes to be recognized as what it really is. For me it comes with a broken heart. I see men that look a bit like me and my heart breaks as I think I couldn't ever be "authentic" like them, and as it gets worse the emotion becomes uglier and morphs into hatred.
Hatred, disgust, anger and almost every ugly feeling walk hand in hand with envy. It makes it stronger, more apparent. Some people are ashamed of their feelings, thinking it is pathetic, so their efforts are even bigger to hide it.
I have not seen many envious characters so far. Remember that not all envy is poisonous, it can motivate someone to be a better person in some cases. And representing all transgenders as highly envious is kind of stereotypical, don't be a jerk while writing a character like this.
If you are interested in applying this trait to a character, make sure to give them a good development. A envious character that cannot overcome their dirty mind is not a character that has matured during their life experience/during the history.
Here are some ideas of a envious character development!
"I can never be like them!" To "I am enough by just being myself." (Do not do the "They weren't what I thought"! This is not a character getting over their feelings)
"I can never have what they have!" To "I do not need it to be happy." (Do not do the "I have better now"! This is not a character getting mature, this is a ridiculous childish reaction)
"I can never be talented like them!" To "No one needs to be perfect at everything." (Do not do the "I am better than them now." However I do not completely oppose to the "Even them are not good in everything, why should I?" But just if it is done rightly, so be careful!)
You can also try doing a dark ending to your character, but be careful since it is very hard to make it good/believable
"I can never be like them, so I will tear them apart." (This can have some very interesting variations, be creative!)
"I can never have what they have, so I will destroy everything they possess." (This is a very interesting plot to a smart character)
"I can never be talented like them, so I will make them unable to do this activity." (Like injuring a athlete or ruining someone's reputation)
Do not forget to give a believable reason to their envy. Ugly feelings like that are built with time and more then one bad day at someone's life.
Also! It is a very nice plot to make a dark envious character having his role swapped with the one they were trying to destroy in the middle of their evil journey OR being destroyed by a side character that was envious of them without their knowledge. Your creativity can handle the details of a good plot twist!
Talking about me now. I am a sucker for happy endings, but a dark ending for a evil main character along with the downfall of their enemy is a beautiful ending to a story based in the concept of Envy.
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