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#Yes I know people can prefer that but I need the sadness
freyjas-musings · 1 day
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"Elegant, feminine, and utterly wild. Warm and steadfast—unbreakable, his queen.
Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows
The author literally writes stories about characters not needing to fit into any specific box yet somehow some people in this fandom keep building the narrative that
Being a trained warrior automatically implies the character is not soft or feminine? Please spare us the BS .... Nesta is soft and feminine , Feyre is soft and Feminine, Gwyn most certainly is Elegant , graceful and feminine..... them being warriors doesn't exempt them from being elegant or soft or feminine 🙄.
Being a SA survivor doesn't automatically confine you to specific rules.... whether it's sexual preferences , whether to want to be in a relationship, the choice of clothes , choice of career .... stop reducing characters to their trauma , when the author literally writes stories of females who don't let their trauma define them. I am not going dignify the lunatic discourse around consent to be shipped with a counter... its stupid at an elemental level.
That a male character is not allowed a trauma response that's unsavoury. Why? We can all empathise with Nesta acting out or Feyre withdrawing but Azriel we have conveniently reduced to a fuck boy ? The guy has 500 years of unresolved trauma and doesn't understand relationships... all he wants is to be loved and accepted for who he is ... he was tortured and locked away .... what does it make you when you disregard that? HOFAS clearly shows there is so much more to Az that's endearing and adorable.... yet people are hell bent on only letting him be a fuck boy? Same with Lucien..... he is an abuse victim and yes he does make a mistake with Feyre but that could be result of his trauma too ... yet that guy deserves to die alone , can't be trusted and God knows what else ? What are you guys even talking about ... do you even understand how characters are written?
Its almost sad that we belong to a fandom of an author who literally writes stories and characters that have always defied the odds and have refused to be put in set boxes only to fight people who do just that with her characters.
Guess what ..... Aelin was both a queen and an assassin.... Nesta was an absolute queen owning her sexuality while also preferring modest clothing without revealing much skin.... Azriel is both a torturer and someone who believes there is salvation in the mothers embrace .... Gwyn can be whoever she wants and we can all hope to see her however the hell we want without needing to put her in a box only because she is a survivor.
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xoxomireya · 3 months
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!ᶻz﹒the ultimate friendship guide﹒🦢﹕⤾
tysm for requesting @jasminejournal < 3 ! i had a lot of fun making this.
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I. YOU CAN’T NATURALLY MATCH WITH EVERYONE
First things first: You can’t be friends with everyone. apart from the obvious “a friend to all is a friend to none”, it’s quite unrealistic to expect everyone to like you, and that’s okay! You just have to acknowledge that you aren’t meant to be liked by everyone.
Find people who are like-minded, who give you the same energy back, who have the same values, people that have healed and don’t bring their baggage and toxicity into the friendship. quality >>> quantity. Not everyone is meant for you and that’s okay, because we are not seeking quantity, we are looking for quality friends who have all the values i listed before and the ones you also find important.
The world is your oyster. in this era it’s easier than ever to make friends: meet a lot of people, say yes to plans, go to events, network, etc. The more people you meet the more you will realize that you can’t match naturally with everyone, some people are just not your vibe and the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you do mesh well together with. I completely understand that it might be harder for some people who are introverted or have social anxiety to socialize, but in that case I really recommend to work firstly on yourself because a lot of the times those things are triggered by insecurities and a bad relationship with oneself. I also recommend to practice with people online or people who know nothing about you, because that’s the thing: they know nothing about you. If you’re insecure, they don’t know that. If you’re acting in a confident way even though you’re not, they’re also not going to know because they don’t know the way you think or act.
Maybe the problem is YOU. Ifyou’re always losing friendships and struggling to maintain them, maybe the common denominator is you because you have issues you need to introspect. Focus on yourself for some time and fix all the issues that might be making you repel high-value people such as being insecure, romanticizing your sadness, having toxic and jealous behaviors…
II. WHERE AND HOW TO MEET PEOPLE
Like-minded communities !! You need to utilize the resources you have to make friends. friends that last are the ones who think in a similar way and who share similar values and interests, and you’re more likely to find like-minded people in like-minded communities. Build up the courage to go and do things alone so you become comfortable in going to places to meet people alone.
Some like-minded communities can be classes in which they teach hobbies of yours because when there’s a community of people whom you have to coexist with you will be forced to work together in a team and talk to each other and that will make it a lot more easier to make friends. Plus, you’re taking the same class so you’re going to have an interest/hobby to bond over which means automatic conversations without any awkwardness. Another option is to become a regular literally ANYWHERE. Ranging from a coffee shop to a gym, when you become a regular you familiarize with the staff and other regulars.
We’re living in an era in which technology can help you with almost anything. Use this to your advantage! Make online friends, use social media to search for like-minded people, download apps to make friends such as bumble bff…
III. HIGH-VALUE FRIENDS.
Now that you’ve prepared yourself and know where to find friends, let’s talk about how to know when someone is right for you.
Look for people who strive to be the best version of themselves and who are surrounded by positive energy. You are who you surround yourself with, so make friends that bring you positivity and who inspire you. Make sure that you both share how you want your future to look like and have similar future plans. Meshing well with them is a must. For example, someone who prefers and feels more comfortable having low maintenance friendships won’t match with someone who prefers to have high maintenance friendships.
And of course, respect is needed. You cross my boundaries? You’re out. Any sort of toxic or jealous behavior is NOT normal and you should not be friends or be influenced by that type of people.
IV. WHAT TO TALK ABOUT AND HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.
Do NOT come off as desperate. “What if they don’t like me?” Thinking like that will only make you be so immerse in your thoughts that all of your confidence will disappear. Focus on having a “How can I make them feel comfortable and understood?” mindset, you’re now not thinking only about yourself and being self-conscious, so you’re going to appear more confident and since now you’re focusing on listening and making the other person feel comfortable you will make an amazing first impression.
Ask them questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves and this will immediately make them like you. Do not make it look like an interview, tho. Make sure you provide your input too which shouldn’t be hard because every question you ask is going to be redirected to you. You can also start the conversation with a compliment!
Friendship is a two way street. It needs to go both ways and you need to follow up with each other. What are they offering you? What are YOU offering them? Think about what can you give without forgetting what can you receive. The type of friend you want is the type of friend you need to be
V. HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS
Everyone has the type of friendship maintenance they feel more comfortable with, but it's a fact that low-maintenance friendships are tho ones that last. Even if you feel more comfortable having high maintenance friendships, make sure that both of you can accomodate to having to maintain the friendship even when both of you are busy.
COMMUNICATION!!! I assure you that there's probably going to be a lot of hardships and misundersatings in your friendships (And that's not bad, we're human) and no proper communication will lead to the deterioration of the friendship.
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divine-donna · 9 days
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all you need is more radaway
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save a horse. ride a cowboy. ;)
anyways i really loved the tv show and i love the game. and ghouls are just chef's kiss. or maybe that's because i love monsters. sad that i finished it so quickly. :(
perhaps i can put what i learned in my western class to good use lol
character: cooper howard aka. the ghoul
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it's never easy surviving the wasteland. you don't know how you managed to survive for this long. perhaps because you seemed to have been blessed with incredible luck.
and building up endurance, of course.
you felt little to no side effects from the radiation of the food you were eating. which just meant you had a lot of radaway and rad-x stocked up.
to make ends meet, though, you had to start hunting. scavenging and scrapping by wasn't enough. you needed the extra caps.
thus your rivalry with another bounty hunter was born.
"well, well. aren't you far from home, sweetheart?"
you were used to comments about your outfit. a vault suit. yes, you came from one. you had been exiled after your father was revealed to be managing the experiment behind it. the child pays for the sins of the father always.
"you're not the first and you won't be the last." you pull the head off the body as clean as possible.
"now i don't know if you should do that."
"and why not?"
a bullet flies past you and burrows itself into the ground. you finally look up. a cowboy hat. the face of a ghoul. his gun pointing right at you.
but you weren't afraid.
"because he's my target." he pulls out a piece of paper. "and he's mine."
"seems unfair if i did all the work. and you just collect his head and the prize." you pull out the same piece of paper. yours is a little more worn out though. and covered in dried blood.
"that's the way of the wasteland sweetheart."
"if you believe so."
your hands were fast. two bullets lodged into his right left and when he looks up, you're gone.
of course, you learned from the best: western holotapes. you really liked them when you were growing up. claimed to want to be a lone hero.
in some ways, you were. the wasteland was just a new version of the wild west, wasn't it?
"spaghetti? like...the pasta?"
more like spaghetti western. he knew that, of course. but no one in the wasteland knew what a spaghetti western was. they were remnants of a past long gone and one only accessible by holotapes in the vaults.
"that's their name." the person says. "why? you have business with them?"
"perhaps." the ghoul was looking to return a favor.
"don't even try. they're far more formidable than you think."
"we'll see about that."
your rivalry was an exchange of bullets, more often than not. thankfully, you always stocked up on bloodbags and could make a stimpack from your heavy (but useful) travel chemistry kit. you were smart like that.
surprisingly, it became something to look forward. mostly because the ghoul preferred if he tried killing you, so he managed to get you out of a tough situation by killing the other people trying to kill you.
and you returned the favor. there was something satisfying about lodging a bullet into him again.
unfortunately, this left you two stuck on a job once. captured by raiders. you had been knocked out with a drug. and he had collapsed from...something.
"fuck." you mutter, pulling at the ropes binding you. your luck had run out for the day it seems, because your arms were tied to the ghoul's around this godforsaken pole. the metal was also uncomfortably rubbing up against your skin.
"you got a knife or anything sharp?" he looks over at you. it's rare to see him without his cowboy hat. his head was rather smooth.
you chuckle a little.
"something funny?" the ghoul asks.
"nothing. you're just...shaped like an egg."
"very funny."
"let me guess. your answer is no?"
"i don't have a knife up my sleeve, sadly. think they took it."
"shame." the ghoul shimmies something out of his own sleeve. he flicks the blade out and begins sawing at the rope. "watch your fingers."
you keep your fingers tucked in. eventually, the rope on your wrists comes undone and one arm soon after. the rest comes off and you rub your skin. "fuck these guys. always hated raiders."
"well, we both got sold out. we need to find that thing now. or else we'll be dead by sunrise." he tugs on the door of the jail cell and clicks his tongue.
"i don't have sharp objects. but i do have these." you pull out the bobby pin taped on the inside of your sleeve, alongside a mini screwdriver.
the lock wasn't very complicated, so you picked it with ease.
as you both are grabbing your equipment, you hear footsteps up above. light ones and heavier ones. and the sound of a muffled, altered, robotic voice.
the brotherhood of steel was worse than raiders, honestly.
"you go left, i go right. how does that sound?"
"i don't usually like taking orders from my rivals." he reloads his gun. "but for you? sure."
the event left the both of you soaked in the blood of your enemies. on the other hand, you guys left with plenty of loot and an idea of where your target was: dead. at the bottom of a lake.
it was a journey to get there, wherein you learned the details of each other's lives. you didn't think he was paying much attention to your sentences. after all, you came from a vault.
and yet, you saw a hint of sympathy in his eyes.
he seemed less keen on sharing details about his life, aside from his former name. cooper howard.
undeniably, as a fan of westerns, you recognized his names. from the holotapes.
"they had those?" cooper shakes his head, taking sips of water. "no way."
"yes way! it's where i learned to shoot."
"from watching my movies?"
"yes!"
"that is...a pleasant surprise." cooper leans back.
"that also makes you over 200 years old."
"that it does. something wrong with that?"
"no. the wasteland changes people." you maintain your attention to your suit, sewing a tear up. "just...you're looking for something, aren't you? everyone's always looking for something up here."
"are you looking for something?" his voice hardens and he sits up straight.
"i was. and then i found it. and i stopped." you tie the thread to seal the stitch and then tear the thread with your teeth. "i hope you find what you're looking for though."
"well, that's awfully kind of you, sweetheart."
"i have a name, you know."
"what is it?"
"(y/n)."
getting personal in the wasteland was something cooper wasn't adamant about. but the circumstances seems to call for it.
"guess we're even now."
the body of water was daunting. it was murky and dark. you pursed your lips and dumped your bag. "well. guess we have no choice."
cooper looks over at you then quickly turns around when he sees what you're doing: taking off your suit and going down to your underwear. "what are you doing?"
"i'm going to go get that head. that's how we get paid, right? easy three thousand caps. 15 hundred split evenly." you stretch.
"i think you might die."
"i'll be fine. i've done it before." Aquaperson perk.
"i can also swim, you know."
"i'll be fine cooper." you pop a rad-x pill just in case. "be back in a bit."
you dive like a swan, making minimal splash into the water. your form disappears beneath the darkness.
you're gone beneath the water for over an hour. cooper's heart was beating against his rib cage. you should be out by now. it should not be that hard. did something get you? things lurked beneath the murky waters always.
"fuck!"
he drops his equipment and begins stripping down, until he is just in his pants. he would need to dive after you. if you were dead, then so be it. it was fun while it lasted.
suddenly, you emerge. you take in the oxygen of the surface and hold the head up high. "got 'em." you swim over to the shore and walk out of the water.
there was something about how...wet you were that got him feeling hot and bothered.
"something happen down there?"
"couple of mirelurks. no big deal. which reminds me." you set the head on the ground and go back into the water. within minutes, you're pulling out the bodies of the mirelurks you had killed. "dinner."
while cutting the mirelurks open, you observe the way he walks around you. his muscles bulging a little as he cuts a mirelurk open and takes the meat. he was kind of...attractive?
"were you going to come after me?" he stops cutting hearing your question. "in the water, i mean."
"so what if i did?" cooper averts his eyes.
"that's sweet of you. i didn't know you had a soft spot for me."
"i don't."
"sure." you can tell he was lying through his teeth.
dinner was a nice, cozy meal. it was delicious. a nice surprise considering the nature of the wasteland.
cooper notices the way you're looking at him. and he looks at you the same way.
though how does this work exactly?
"do you want to..." you try to find a decent way to say this. fuck is a good term. but it felt a little vulgar in the moment.
cooper already knows what you're asking. "absolutely. if you can handle it." he smirks.
it's so cute when he smirks.
you glance over at your bag, looking at your stash of radaway. you had plenty. plus your stash of rad-x too.
"i absolutely can."
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mediumgayitalian · 1 month
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“Come here, you dweeb. Let me fix it.”
Will pouts, dragging his feet over and slumping half on top of him. Nico allows it with a smile and a roll of his eyes, pinching Will’s shoulder. He doesn’t react except for a wounded noise, muffled in Nico’s lap, so the situation is evidently quite dire.
“It’s just hair, Will.”
“But I worked on it!” He shifts around until he’s got his head in Nico’s lap, face turned towards him, body curled up on the grass around him. Nico brushes his tangled bangs off his forehead, meeting his big sad eyes. “I spent forty minutes with a stupid brush! And yet!”
“And yet,” Nico agrees, unable to appropriately school is face into one of somber understanding. Will scowls at him for his lack of proper sympathy, a little bit of genuine hurt in his eyes, so Nico leans down and kisses right between his brows in apology. He seems mollified, if only slightly, or at least he leans into Nico’s touch and stops mumbling quite so much.
“‘S’not fair.”
“Mhm.“
“Your hair listens to your instructions.”
“Yep.”
“Even Cecil’s hair listens to him, and no one listens to Cecil.”
Nico purses his lips thoughtfully. “I think Austin listens to Cecil.”
“Yes, I know. It’s an ongoing issue. I’m trying to train him out of it.”
“And how’s that going?” Nico murmurs, curling a strand of golden blond hair around his finger.
“Oh, well, I’m doing my best, so of course it’s going horribly.”
Nico snorts. He resists the urge to hold his palms to Will’s cheeks and kiss every single freckle at light speed, because he will screech something about how Nico is one-upping him in the romance department or something stupid like that. Instead he settles for looking at his dumb dramatic boyfriend’s face and marvelling over the fact that the cutest boy in the entire world, and Nico is being totally objective, hunts around camp until he finds whatever tree Nico is hiding under and curls up into a ball around him and trusts Nico to hold him while he complains about stupid things that genuinely hurt his feelings a little. It’s nice. So many people at camp are still so rigid around him, like he’s collecting information for their judgement day or something. Will prefers to exercise his lesser-known Apollonian talent of being a bigger drama queen than the god himself.
“Stay still,” Nico says softly, moving Will around so he’s laying perpendicular to Nico, now, head centered in his lap and staring up at the sky. Will sighs and squirms a little and turns his head to press a kiss to Nico’s knee, scrunching up his face and releasing it, and then settles in the position.
Humming something soft that exists on the fringes of his foggy memories, he sinks his hands into Will’s hair.
“It’s not that bad,” he promises, moving slowly and pausing whenever he comes across a knot.
Will harrumphs.
“I mean it, Marilyn Monroe. You can tone down the histrionics.”
“I used gel.”
Nico flicks a dried clump of it onto Will’s forehead, amused. “I can see that.”
“I followed every single one of Mitchell’s instructions!”
“I bet.”
“And yet!”
“And, yet.”
Nico has a sneaking suspicion that someone made a comment about Will’s hair, in the last few weeks. He can never confirm it and Will has been shifty about it every time he asks, but Nico has noticed the uptick in hoods and hats the past month and his little flinches every time Nico reaches up and tugs on it. Despite being oddly confident about the oddest things — why he is so proud of being able to fit his fist in his mouth, Nico will never know — Will is very sensitive to how people think of him. He needs to know he’s liked, and when people don’t like him, he gets…desperate, pleasing. The opposite of Nico, who becomes worse in an attempt to push them away on his own terms.
Nico leans down and presses a long, lingering kiss to his forehead.
“I like your hair, you know.”
“It’s a stupid mess.”
He smooths down a handful of it, pressing it over Will’s eye. He manages to keep a straight face for one, two, three seconds before he huffs a laugh, batting Nico’s hands away. Nico grins.
“I like the stupid mess.”
“Yeah, well, you like a lot of weird things.”
“Like you?” Nico suggests, pressing another kiss to the tip of his rounded nose.
“Shut up.”
Another strange thing about him, that Nico has to duck his head to hide his automatic smile: he gets embarrassed easily.
Nico never expected it of him, with all the dorky, medical-themed pickup lines and general shamelessness in his affection towards everybody on Earth, but especially Nico. When the poking, prodding attraction is turned on him, however, he shuts down like an overloaded Playstation. Nico can sometimes see the error messages playing behind its eyes. It’s hilarious.
“Will.” He pokes him in the cheek. “Hey.”
“What,” Will grumbles.
“I think you’re beautiful.”
Watching the slow spread of red from below the collar of his shirt to the roots of his hair is a delight. Nico watches in glee, wrestling Will’s hands away when he tries to slap them over his face.
“Shut up! Leave me alone! Go — flirt with somebody else!”
“You’d curse them to speak in rhymes for ten years,” Nico teases.
Will makes an agonised noise. “Who! Asked you! Shut up!”
“You’d sic Kayla on anyone who so much as winks at me, you jealous bitch.”
“I would not!”
“You would so. You rolled your eyes at everything Percy said for three weeks when you found out I used to crush on him —”
“I did not!”
“— and you didn’t even have the balls to ask me out, back then.”
“You are a — peddler of falsehoods! A prevaricator, a perjurer, and a fabulist!”
“And you sound like you swallowed a thesaurus,” Nico snickers. He catches the hand Will flails at him, pressing a kiss to the wrist, which only serves to fluster him more. He decides to take mercy when the kisses he trails down his arms result in one loud, long, tortured screech, pulling back and giving him some space.
Notably, he doesn’t move from Nico’s lap.
“I like it,” Nico admits, once Will has calmed down some. “I like that you’ve liked me for so long.”
Will peeks through the fingers he has covering his eyes. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Yes.” Nico squeezes his shoulders. “And endearing, which seems to be your sweet spot.” He presses a much softer kiss to the underside of Will’s ear, lingering there until he sighs, slumping under all the tension finally leaving his body. “I love you, Will. I love your clumsiness and your rambles and your nose and your freckles and your awkwardness and your jealousy and your hair and I love you, Will, all of you. Even the embarrassing weird parts.” He kisses him again. “Especially the weird parts.”
Will breathes slowly, carefully, evenly, face pressed to the inside of Nico’s thigh. His long eyelashes tickle his skin. Nico can feel the press of his Adam’s apple when he swallows, pulsing against his calf.
“I never thought you were a freak.”
Nico brushes his knuckles over his cheek. “I know.”
“I used to — talk about you. All the time. And your oxytocin levels.”
He smiles.
“I know.”
“Lee had a — chart.” Some of the flush rises back up in his cheeks. “A ‘Days Since We’ve Heard About Di Angelo’ chart.”
Nico bites his lip. Hard.
“The number never got higher than six.”
“…I am trying really, really hard, Will.”
Will sighs.
“You can laugh.”
Nico cracks up, trying desperately to muffle his giggles in his bitten fist. It doesn’t work very well, but the glare Will sends him is somewhat softened by the smile twitching at the corner of his mouth.
“Gods, you are — a mess.”
“Mhm.”
Nico cups the side of his face. Will turns, slightly, enough to press a kiss to the centre of his palm and then stay there, eyes closed, breathing against his sword-callused skin.
“I love you too, by the way. Obviously.”
“I know.”
“Don’t Han Solo me, you bastard.”
“Go ahead and try to stop me,” Nico challenges, grinning into the passionately indignant kiss Will presses to his lips, finally, letting Nico curl his hands in his hair.
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angelltheninth · 9 months
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Secret Kisses with Spiderverse Characters
Pairing: Peter B. Parker, Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy, Miguel O'Hara, Hobie Brown, Pavitr Prabhakar x Reader
Tags: fluff, established relationship, kissing, sneaking around, keeping quiet, suggestive, teasing, neck kissing, playful biting
A/N: This month has been THE worst for me and I have no idea why.
Peter prefers to kiss you as his civilian identity rather then his superhero one because he doesn't have to hold back as much, if at all when you're not in public. But when he's on a mission and he sees you he'll absolutely make up an excuse to go see you and make sure you're okay. What's the best way to do that? Well to see how long you can kiss him for without pushing him away. It might not be the most professional way but he is your boyfriend after all, he gets to do thing a little out of the box sometimes.
Miles loves that he has a secret on top of a secret, you being his sweetheart. Yes, its very cheesy when he has to sneak in and out of your room and pretend that he doesn't know you if he sees you in the crowd, only to them swoop you into his arms and spin you into a kiss the moment you get some alone time. He knows its a little much, but he wouldn't have it any other way, at least not for a while. Gets a little sad when your kissing is cut short by something or someone, he was starting to get into it.
Gwen has to hold back both as a hero and when she's on stage. Therefore any time where she can kiss you when you're not in a fully private space is in various alleys but in either case she will have her signature hood up. It doesn't do much when she's in her superhero outfit but when she's just done with her band its easier to hide who she is. No one's gonna be suspicious of two people making out after a concert so she's free to kiss you for as long as she wants. Loves to make you whimper just a tiny bit by nibbling on your ear, but don't be too loud, or people may think you're doing something other then kissing.
Miguel would rather not have to run and hide when he's with you but having to keep your relationship a secret does add a certain spice to it that he really likes. It's more exciting to kiss you when someone could walk by and see you pinned by him, your chin in his hand and tilted up so he can kiss you as deep and long as he wants to. Since you have limited alone time he will take advantage of it by making as many marks on you as possible, lips, fangs and claws because he can't resist knowing there are marks on you that only he knows are there.
Hobie gladly keeps you all to himself under any circumstance, he's a little bit selfish that way. Excuse him for wanting to have you all to himself, to have his hands and mouth all over when when ever he can. If that includes whisking you away, having your legs wrapped up around his hips while he holds you against the way, a little up, just out of everyone's field of vision, then so be it. Just be careful to not take his mask off all the way while you're kissing him, you can do that later when you're all alone. You should also work on keeping your voice down when his lips are on your neck, you're gonna get them caught one day.
Pavitr is really bad at keeping kissing you a secret. He's giggly, he's loud, he's a little whimpers and he always tells you how much he loves you. Good thing you know how to shut him up when you need to. It's a shame because you love it when he talks or makes sounds. Sometimes you swear that he's only doing this to get a reaction out of you or to make you kiss him for a little bit longer then you planned on. He's also the kind of man who would gladly walk out of a closet or an alleyway covered in lipstick marks, therefore his mask comes in very handy.
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penny00dreadful · 6 months
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Before He Cheats
AO3
“Munson Home for the Recently Deceased, you stab ‘em we slab ‘em. How may I direct your call?”
There was silence on the other end of the line for a few seconds before a light chuckle crackled through the speaker.
“Is that really how you answer the phone?”
Eddie smiled to himself. “Got you to laugh didn’t it?”
“Suppose.”
“Plus, no one calls the landline anymore unless they’re trying to sell something. You trying to sell me something?”
“No. No, I uh… I’m looking for an Eddie Munson?”
“Only an Eddie Munson? Only one? What a terrible fate. Well you’re in luck, my good sir. This is he. What can I do you for?”
The voice on the end of the line gave a light laugh once again but went silent almost immediately after. 
Eddie stared at the wall in his apartment, waiting for something to happen. In the quiet he could hear the guy letting out little nervous breaths before one big inhale.
“I um. I’m sorry to have to tell you like this, I’d prefer to do it face to face but I don’t know where you live and you probably wouldn’t even want me at your house afterwards and I did find you on social media but it’s not something I wanted to do in DM’s, you deserve better than that-”
“Okay, hold on, slow down.” Eddie tried to ignore the panic starting to kick around in his heart. “Is someone dead? Is someone injured?”
“No! No, Jesus, I’m sorry. I told Robin that I’d be terrible at this but I couldn’t just let it go on without saying anything-”
“You haven’t really said anything. You’re just rambling.”
“Right. Sorry. Again, blame Robin. I’m around her too much. But… okay. Do you know Rick Lipton?”
Eddie felt the panic leave him, replaced only by irritation as he sighed through his nose. “What did he do now?”
“He… um. I’m sorry to ask this but are you his partner? Like, romantic partner?”
Eddie scowled. “And if I am?”
There was movement against the line, almost as if the other guy was nodding. 
“Shit.” He muttered before picking back up in volume again. “Listen, I didn’t know. He told me he was single and I only found out because Robin lives in the same building as you and she saw him with you and asked the neighbours and they said you’d been a thing for like two years and you have to believe me if I’d known I wouldn’t have touched him, I don’t fuck around with cheaters-”
“How long?”
Eddie had expected to feel betrayal or sadness, devastation or heartbreak and they were there. 
They were just lost under a tidal wave of anger and indignation. He was even surprised at himself that he didn’t feel more caught off guard. 
Rick had never cheated before (that Eddie was aware of) but he had always had a wandering eye and a few off-colour jokes about 'going to find someone more his speed’. 
They’d never really felt all that funny.
Maybe it was because their relationship had felt dead for the last few months. 
They barely talked, they just existed around each other. The sex had all but dried up as well and whenever they did have it, it was completely impersonal. Get in, get out, move back to separate parts of the apartment if either of them even bothered to stay over. 
More often than not one of them would make a quick exit back to their home.
Eddie had been thinking a breakup was on the horizon for a while. 
But that was no excuse to cheat. 
At least have the fucking decency to end the relationship first before going out and chasing tail. 
“Um, like four or five weeks." The guy on the phone muttered, clearly ashamed. "I’m so sorry Eddie, I swear to god if I knew I would never… I have- I have proof if you need it.”
“If it’s a sex tape I don’t think I want to see it.” Eddie was trying really hard to maintain his calm and not snap through the phone. 
If what the guy was saying was true, then he was an innocent party in this.
Didn’t make it hurt any fucking less though.
Didn’t make him any less pissed.
“If- no it’s not a sex tape.” The voice sounded scandalised. “Fucking hell, do people actually do that?”
“Yes.”
There was a pause, as though the guy was waiting for Eddie to continue but Eddie just let it hang in the air. He wasn’t ashamed. 
But he was definitely going to have to purge those files now.
“Okay well… It's just a photo. I posted it to my insta a week ago but he was really weird about it being up, which in hindsight makes a lot of sense, so I took it down.” He said, quiet and sad. “I can send it to you if you want.”
Eddie pursed his lips. 
“Please hold.”
He unceremoniously dropped the phone with a clatter, leaving it dangling from the cord, bouncing against the wall and probably blowing the guy’s ear out. 
Maybe in the morning Eddie would feel a little bad about that, but for now it just felt very satisfying. 
He rifled around in his bedsheets for his phone before making his way back to the landline. 
“Still there?”
“Yes. Ow, by the way.”
Eddie just shrugged, well aware the guy couldn’t see him but whatever. He wasn’t in the mood. 
“Send it on.”
Only a moment later his phone pinged with a notification and Eddie opened the photo.
Well. 
Shit. 
There was Rick, in amongst a crowd at some nightclub, plastered to the side of some pretty boy who looked like he had a regular workout routine. 
Ugh.
Eddie couldn’t handle gym bunnies, the amount they could bench or whatever was all they ever talked about. But this must be the guy on the other end of the phone. 
@King.Steve.Of.House.Hair
Rick had King Steve’s earlobe in between his teeth and from the angle of the selfie Eddie could see his hands were wandering.
It looked like some kind of Halloween night, if the teeny tiny little sailor outfit was anything to go by.
God damn.
But even so, Eddie still wanted to be sure that what he was seeing was… well. What he was seeing. 
“Steve, is it?”
“Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry, I didn’t realise I hadn’t given you my name yet.” Steve let out a nervous laugh, like he was expecting Eddie to jump through the phone and strangle him.
Eddie was fit to strangle someone but Steve wasn’t in his crosshairs.
“Don’t worry about it. Tell me, what does Rick have tattooed on his ass?”
“Uh…” Steve paused. “He doesn’t have a tattoo on his ass? Not that I’ve seen anyway. But I can tell you he does have his taint pierced. For some fucking reason.”
Eddie gave a quiet laugh at that, despite the monumentally fucked up situation and the final cracking piece of his heart breaking away. Rick had that piercing by the time Eddie had met him. He insisted he’d gotten it because it was sexy. Eddie was pretty sure he’d just lost a bet.
Eddie was no stranger to intimate piercings himself. He had his frenum done a while back. 
That one he’d definitely done because it felt sexy.
He looked back down at his phone, idly flipping through Steve’s profile and all of his other photos. 
He probably shouldn’t be thinking about how hot Steve was, how it was juxtaposed with a soft cuteness that almost felt like it didn’t belong to someone with such broad shoulders and defined arms. 
He hated himself for thinking about Steve’s attractiveness. 
It felt wrong.
Even though he was pretty much single now.
Even if Rick didn’t know it yet. 
But fuck him. 
He’d find out.
One way or the other.
And Eddie was nothing if not a drama queen.
But he wouldn’t do anything tonight.
No tonight he would just… hurt.
And smoke.
A lot.
“Eddie?” Steve’s voice came through to him. “You okay?”
Eddie swallowed, finding it a little more difficult than he expected it to be and realised he’d just been staring down at his phone in silence. 
The screen had gone black.
“Yeah.” He answered, his voice thick. “I’m fine.”
Steve hummed. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Eddie laughed. It was wet and sniffly and vulnerable and horrible. “What are you gonna do from over the phone far away… wherever you are?”
“I dunno. I could just… talk to you I guess? Help you plot Rick's murder?”
Eddie laughed again, a little brighter this time. "Yeah, that could be good. But if I'm plotting murder I want to be a little more comfortable." He unlocked his phone and hit the follow button on Steve’s account. “This conversation requires lounging, not standing by the landline.”
“Oh-”
“How do you feel about a video call?”
A notification popped up on his phone, letting him know Steve had followed him back.
“A video call is fine.”
“Great.” Eddie paused. He wasn’t even sure how to end this call with the guy his boyfriend of two years had been cheating on him with and who he’d just asked if he wanted to video call so Eddie could smoke his feelings away. 
He just didn’t want to feel alone right now. 
He could have called Chrissy or one of the boys to come hang out with him but that would require explaining everything over again and he really didn’t want to do that right now. 
Before he could think much more on it Eddie said a quick “Okay bye,” and hung up.
Steve knew the story and Steve had been wronged too and maybe they could just be mad and sad together. 
He unlocked his phone again as he walked back into his bedroom and hit the video call button, not even bothering to turn his light on, leaving himself and his room shrouded in darkness. He propped his phone up on his desk, angled towards the window where he sat on the sil and started to roll, using the streetlights streaming in the window to see.
Steve picked up only a moment later and Eddie got his first good look at the guy live in action and not through a photo online.
He was sitting at what looked like a kitchen table fully lit by the overhead lights, a pair of wire framed glasses perched on his nose and his hair messy and dishevelled, like he’d been stressfully running his hands through it, which he probably had been. 
Eddie didn’t know how stressed he would be if he had to make a call to someone to tell them their long term partner had been cheating.
He was leaning forward, elbows on the table in a cosy yellow sweater with a slight worry between his eyebrows. 
He looked so soft. 
Nothing at all like the nautical sea queen look he’d been giving in those photos. He looked comfortable and gentle and a little worried.
“Eddie?”
“Mm-hm?” He hummed, bringing the joint to his mouth and lighting it up before pushing open the window a little more and exhaling out into the dark rainfall outside.
“You okay?”
He shrugged. “I will be.”
“I’m not asking about whether you will be, I‘m asking about now.”
Eddie looked over and watched Steve as Steve watched him through the screen.
“Alright, then no. I’m not okay.” He took another drag. “I’m fucking pissed. I’m sad, I’m upset, I’m hurt, I’m angry, I’m disappointed and I don’t know if all of that is directed more at him for doing this to me or me for not expecting it.”
“How were you supposed to expect it?” Steve shook his head in disbelief. “No one should have to expect to be cheated on.”
“Dunno.” Eddie shrugged, looking back out the window. “Relationship was dying anyway.”
“Okay, and? That doesn’t make cheating okay.”
“Suppose not.”
“I’m sorry, for what it’s worth. For my part in it.”
Eddie glanced back over, taking in the downward tilt of Steve’s mouth and his big sad eyes.
“S’not your fault. You were wronged too.”
“I guess, but…” Steve bit his lip and looked up from the screen, casting his eyes around his kitchen like something was going to pop out and answer whatever question was running through his head. 
Eddie waited. The guy had been very gracious so far and he seemed to genuinely feel bad for all the mess he’d been wrapped up in. 
“I…” Steve continued. “I know how this thing usually goes. You find out you’ve been cheated on and you still love your partner so you tend to focus all your anger towards the person they cheated with rather than the person who actually wronged you.” He looked down, fiddling with some kind of flash card on the table in front of him.
“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Eddie stubbed his joint out, happy enough with his current buzz. He was sufficiently mellowed, he hadn’t cried yet though that would probably come once he was in bed, but his anger had simmered down to a level where he didn’t feel like putting his fist through a wall but still angry enough to plot.
“I am, I guess.”
Eddie nodded. “This happened to you before?” 
That was probably rude. His filter malfunctioned at the best of times but when he smoked it was all but gone.
“Yeah.” Steve stared down at the cards in his hands. “My mom had to put up with my dad’s infidelity a lot. And my ex-girlfriend cheated on me a while back.” Steve paused before taking a deep breath. “Rick was actually my first attempt to get back into the dating world so…”
“So we can both be sad and angry together.”
“Yeah.” Steve smiled and Eddie stood up, plucking his phone from his desk and settling it on his bedside table, switching his lamp on and throwing himself face down on his bed, probably barely visible to Steve.
“We can be sad and angry together.”
Eddie glanced up. Now that he was closer to his phone, he could better see exactly what Steve was fiddling with, he could read some of the text on the card.
“Stevie.” Eddie sat up, moving closer to the phone and unable to stop the smirk running over his face. Steve’s eyes snapped up towards him. “Did you write out flash cards for when you called me?”
Steve’s eyes widened before he unceremoniously swept all the cards off the table in front of him, his cheeks turning a terrific shade of red and he leaned his face on his hand, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. 
“No.”
It was adorable. Incredibly dorky and adorable.
Eddie laughed, full on braying belly laughs, collapsing backwards onto his bed. When he peeked back up to look at his phone through his giggles, Steve’s face was somehow even redder. 
“Oh my god.” Eddie breathed. “That’s darling.”
“Shut up.”
“No, no. It’s really very sweet.”
“Ugh. Whatever.” Steve rolled his eyes but was still smiling, still had a blush lighting up his cheeks.
Eddie settled himself back against his headboard. “Actually, listen, let me ask you something.”
“Okay?”
“Does Rick know? Does he know that you know? Or that you told me?”
“No.” Steve answered, finally relaxing his fake nonchalance into real relaxation, folding his hands on the table and propping his chin up on them. “I figured if anyone had the right to rip his balls off it would be you.”
Eddie nodded. 
That he could understand. 
“I get that, but there’ll be no ball ripping from where I stand. No, I want to hit him where it hurts.”
“Woulda hurt me plenty.”
“Oh, I’m sure. But the only thing Rick loves more than his own balls is his car.”
Steve nodded. “Yeah, he’s like, obsessed with that thing. It’s weird. It’s not even that nice of a car.”
“I’d love to say he has bad taste but considering he picked the both of us, I’m pretty sure his tastes are actually immaculate.”
“Just his decisions are bad.”
“Exactly.”
“Well.” Steve sighed. “I’d love to help any way I can. I hate that I was involved in this, in what he did to you.”
“To us, Stevie. To us.”
“Right, so what’s the plan then?”
“When are you due to see him next?”
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Eddie pulled his van into the parking lot of the bar. It was halfway across town and a place that he never frequented if he could help it. Rick liked it though, always had. Eddie just liked other places around town more.
But it could be cute, he supposed. A small little country and sports type place that had a rainbow flag behind the bar and a small number of regulars who, according to Steve, wouldn’t do anything unless you got between them and their drink. 
He knew that Steve was inside with Rick, playing up the flirty angle and acting tipsier than he actually was to put him at ease.
Steve had mentioned one of his signature moves involved pool, bending over the table and wiggling a little bit to keep the attention on him. Pulling out a little pout whenever he missed a shot or asking for help to line up his cue.
Eddie would be more upset by the fact that he was missing the sight of it if he didn't know he'd have the opportunity to see it himself at some point in the future.
They had talked for so long that first night, long enough that the sun was starting to come up by the time they'd both dragged themselves away from their phones to sleep.
They’d talked about their families, their friends, what they were doing in life right now as opposed to what they had hoped they would be doing when they were teenagers. They talked about their school selves and their dating lives and as the conversation wore on Eddie found himself thinking again and again about how long it had been since it had felt so easy to talk to someone like that.
It had been a very long time since Rick had put any effort into getting to know him as he grew through their two years together, like he expected Eddie to stay the same person as he was at the start of the relationship.
After that first night where they’d figured out their master plan, he and Steve had just… kept talking. Throughout the rest of the week up until tonight, they were in almost constant contact, only really taking a break to sleep and work.
Eddie felt connected to Steve and in some roundabout way he was thankful to Rick for bringing him into his life.
He’d even met Robin in passing one day, living two floors below him, holding the door open for him as he tried to wrestle with grocery bags. 
She was so weird. He kind of loved her the second she opened her mouth. Honest, but with the sharpest tongue he’d ever met on a person. 
She had knocked on his apartment door later that evening to tell him Steve was calling over to visit and asking if he wanted to come around to meet him. 
Steve had apparently delegated the asking to her because he was too nervous to do it himself.
Again, adorable.
Steve was somehow even sweeter and even saltier in person than he was over the phone and Eddie tried hard, he tried really hard not to look too much or let his fucking horomones run away with him but Jesus. H. Christ it was difficult. 
The sweetness of his soft sweaters and polos, his gentle smiles and understanding words matched with his salty mean girl attitude that would slip out every so often and the bitchiest of eye rolls that made Eddie’s heart jump.
Eddie was also trying to feel bad about what was happening but honestly, he was losing reasons to care that much.
He hadn’t texted or called Rick once in the last week and Rick himself had never reached out which all at once made Eddie realise he was the primary communicator in the relationship and it hadn’t been reciprocated in a long, long time. 
Adding onto that was the knowledge that Rick was still fucking cheating on him and was in regular contact with Steve left Eddie only half heartedly feeling bad.
He and Steve would go over the screenshots of the conversation together every night and every night Eddie found it harder and harder to hang up the phone.
He was pretty sure Steve was feeling the same way. 
They kept just catching each other staring. Or smiling or, pulling back from touching too much and he was almost sure that as soon as Rick was out of the picture for the both of them, something was going to blossom.
Even now, with Steve inside, flirting up a storm with Eddie’s ex-boyfriend who didn’t know he was an ex yet, they would be ending the night together. 
Robin was waiting back at her apartment with an alibi ready if Eddie needed it though he suspected he wouldn’t.
Neither he nor Rick had a great track record with the police and it would be more trouble than it was worth to get them involved.
Speaking of, Eddie spotted Rick’s car, some souped up four wheel drive monstrosity of small dick syndrome sitting in the shadows and away from the cameras of the bar where Steve had convinced him to park with a suggestion of something happening in those shadows later on. 
He hopped out of his van and threw open the back doors, grabbing his bag of goodies before sidling around Rick’s car to wait.
When the chords of some Shania Twain number started to leak through the walls, the signal he’d been waiting for, the sound loud enough to drown out what Eddie would be doing, he dropped his bag to the floor.
Curling his keys into his fingers and with almost a skip in his step Eddie began to carve a stripe through the immaculate and expensive paint work. Working his way around to the drivers side, he lifted the key up before bringing it back down.
With a little bit of sickening glee, he hacked the word CHEATER into the side of the car, the side that would be immediately visible from the bar door and the side Rick would have to see every time he wanted to get in and get out of the driver's seat.
At least until he paid a bomb to get it fixed.
Eddie had connections in this town. Working as a mechanic here for years would do wonderful things to extend this pain. 
Rick knew fuck all about cars. 
Tucking his keys back into his pocket, he sidled back around to his duffel bag, unzipping it and pulling out his Stanley blade.
Unsheathing it, he gripped it tight in his hand and punched it down into the nearest tyre, listening with satisfaction as the thing slowly deflated before moving onto the other three.
A second Shania song had started up. 
He could hear Steve crooning out from inside, getting louder and Eddie knew he was running out of time. 
He pulled Steve’s baseball bat from the duffle and gave it a little twirl, the same one he’d seen Steve do when he’d first handed it off and he had tried so hard not to be attracted to it. 
He’d failed miserably. 
Maybe Eddie could deal with a gym bunny if that gym bunny was Steve.
With an almighty swing, he brought the bat down, shattering one of the headlights with an almighty crash that wasn’t quite drowned out by the karaoke inside.
Rearing back Eddie swung again, smashing the other headlight and while the music didn’t cut off, he could clearly hear Steve inside calling out for Rick to “Wait!”
Okay, only a few seconds left.
Pulling the bat back and letting the anger and betrayal and indignation flow through him, he brought the bat down hard into the windshield where it embedded itself, the spider cracks of the tempered glass making the thing practically opaque.
The bat was fucking stuck.
Eddie knew that if he was able to pull hard enough he would be able to release the whole windshield from the car but he didn’t even have the strength in him to budge the bat.
“What the fuck?!”
Eddie slowly released his hands from the bat and turned, looking at Rick standing in the doorway of the bar, his mouth hanging wide open in shock, unable to believe what he was seeing. Steve was standing just behind him, with one hand over Rick’s chest.
To anyone else it would look like a comforting gesture, maybe. A show of support. 
But Eddie could tell the hand was there to hold Rick back if he decided to lunge. 
Both Steve and Rick dragged their gaze over the flat tyres, the word carved into the side, the bat stuck in the windshield.
“Hey sweetheart.” Eddie called across the distance, feeling comfortable enough to turn his back to pick up his bag, trusting Steve to at least shout if Rick was about to tackle him.
“Eddie,” Rick breathed, still open-mouthed somehow. “What in the god damned hell has gotten into you?!”
“I wasn’t talking to you.” He slung the bag over his shoulder and held his hand out.
Steve patted Rick twice on the chest and stepped out from behind him. 
Rick watched him walk away looking even more bewildered than before.
With one hand Steve took Eddie’s and with the other he grabbed the bat, wiggling it a few times before pulling it free. 
They broke apart as they reached Eddie’s van, Steve climbing into the passenger seat and Eddie throwing his bag in the back before starting up the van from his position in the driver's seat.
He leaned over Steve to shout out of the window, “Have a nice life, asshole!”
As the van tore out of the lot, Steve stretched both hands out of the window, two middle fingers extended until Rick, still frozen on the spot, was out of sight.
When he pulled himself back inside, Eddie saw him glance his way, a huge grin on his face.
Eddie had a smile to match, whooping into the night as they sped down the road.
AO3
@geekymagicalpotato
Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for her magnificent beta work and to the STWG for their motivation.
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Text
Barometric Pressure
Kay: *rubbing some gel onto her wrist and hand*
Si'miel: Kay that is quite a strong scent, I thought most humans preferred their "perfume" to be only slightly noticeable
Kay: Huh? Oh, no, sorry, this is just a painkiller. Smells funky but works decently well
Si'miel: *pales a little* pain ...killer?!
Kay: sorry, I'm out of sorts right now, its a pain reducer. Can you do me a favor?
Si'miel: Oh yes, I will gladly help you in your time of pain *feels slightly honored most humans simply tell one 'don't worry about it' and never consider one's ability to help*
Kay: Alert the ship's maintenance engineers that the atmospheric pressure is dropping
Si'miel: . . . Kay I'm certain the sensors would have alerted them to that!
Kay: *slips on an odd black device that covers her wrist and partially her hand* Well the sensors are faulty. My joints are all messed up but especially my ankle and wrist. So I know.
Si'miel: *alarmed* We must go to the infirmary immediately!
Kay: nah I used my gel med and splinted my wrist so it can't move mu- -
Si'miel: You've immobilized your own body?!
Kay: *deep sigh* Si'miel us humans sometimes have bad joints and when atmospheric pressure drops the pain in our joints increases. My right wrist is just slightly worse than the others, so making sure it doesn't move around as much prevents an increase in pain.
Si'miel: You..... you just walk around with your joints hurting? It...it can detect pressure changes? How? Do all humans have such a skill?
Kay: Bad joints are bad joints not much I can do about it. And no, not everyone can, I'm so envious of people whose joints haven't gone on strike. Anyways we have no idea... well I have no idea why, but I can just feel it. The ship's atmosphere is definitely dropping. *sad smile* haven't felt the awful sensation it gives since I left Earth, I just really want to go have some soup and watch whatever dumb movies we got recently, so can you let the engineers know?
Si'miel: *nervously twitches their front appendages worried for their human crewmate* I will let them know .... are you sure you don't need the infirmary?
Kay: Yeh definitely sure, had this issue since I was 21, sucks but hey thats life. Thanks for letting them know, I knew I could count on you *heads off*
___
*Si'miel walks into the main work station of the ship maintenance engineers*
Engineer 1: *looks up* do you need something?
Si'miel: I do not wish to insult your work but a human crew mate informed me that the atmospheric pressure of the ship is dropping. I'm certain you would know if such a thing were true but.... the manual on humans says we should not ignore them when they use the phrase "I can just feel it/ I can just tell" so I thought I would alert you to her statement
Engineer 1: Thats not a possibility our signals would have gone off, but *sighs* new protocols state that we can't ignore a human's warning *rolls two of their 4 eyes... an odd expression they ironically picked up from humans*
Engineer 2: I'll check manually *heads down the corridor a bit and after a few minutes*. . . Activate protocol 651!!!
Engineer 1: W-what?? thats not possible
Engineer 2: *running back to the work station* just do it! Another hour of the pressure dropping will make the system go critical, we'd have to emergency land, and we'd both lose our jobs now do it!
Engineer 1: *hurriedly gets to work*
Si'miel: interesting so it is tru- - -
Engineer 1 & 2: Be quiet!
Si'miel: *startled and heads away without interrupting them further*
___
*Si'miel finds the lounge Kay decided to relax in, an empty soup bowl on the table next to the lounge chair, the TV being the only source of light in the room*
Si'miel: *takes the seat next to Kay* Kay, when you say "hey that's life" what do you- -
Kay: *snores*
Si'miel: ah *takes the blanket draped on one of the the other chairs and lays it across Kay's body* With the pressure fixed you may feel better.... sleep well human friend...
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beevean · 7 months
Text
I can't stop thinking about this morning's anon and some of their wording. "This was so scary to write because if any of my friends knew about this my life would be over".
It's short but I honestly felt so bad for them. They really don't need this on top of their other experiences. And what's worse, this is the common mentality now: I keep seeing, on Twitter and Tiktok screenshots, teenagers who genuinely ask if a ship they like is "proship", with the underlying message being "please don't bully me".
And listen to me. I am the most insecure bitch on the planet. I would literally eat my own hands with ketchup and mayonnaise rather than reveal my music tastes to other people. I've been endlessly mocked for my passions ever since I was a child - not bullied, but I've been told by parents and classmates that no one cares, or I'm too old for this, or I need to live in the modern world... long story short, to this day I do not want to be perceived. So I understand the feeling of "you will pry my true tastes from my cold dead hands". I am old enough to know these are irrational thoughts, but to this day I much prefer to keep things to myself.
So listen: you deserve friends who do not judge you.
Again:
You deserve friends who do not judge you.
It's one thing to prefer to keep your tastes private because you're a private person. That's fine! That is your right! But please, if you really think your friends will hate you because you happen to read Problematic™ fiction... no, that shouldn't happen. Especially not on the internet, where nobody should know about you as a person. Friends who do care about you would not think any less of you for something as common (yes it's common!) as enjoying some spicy stories. It is not a crime. It does not say anything about your morals. And it's even worse if you've already suffered in the past, but this goes for everyone.
I don't want to get into the whole pro/anti ship discourse because I am sick of how easily the internet twists the meaning of important words until discussions can't be had because the two factions are not even talking about the same thing anymore. I don't know anon's previous or current stance on shipping, what they meant by that comment, and again the wording worries me a little when combined with that other comment. I do have my thoughts about it that go beyond what "proship" means, and I'll summarize:
not only no one deserves harassment for what they ship, but the only thing you can judge from someone's writing is their writing level. Not their actual personality, not their experiences, and less of all their real-life morals.
Brand this backwards on your forehead and read that in the mirror everytime you wake up.
Anyway. I don't know if you'll read this, anon, but I really wish you all the best luck in the future. And I'm very glad that you approached me to tell me that - as sad as the circumstances are, and I'm sorry for being self-aggrandizing, your praise made my day :)
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whiskersz · 2 months
Note
Hey there! I saw your requests were open so I was wondering if you could do a Vox x fem!Reader who loves cuddling? I don't mind if it's headcanons or a ficlet, whatever floats your boat! Thank you!
Hey!! Yes, I could gladly do that! Still learning how to write Vox, so apologies if this isn’t in character. It’s simply how I see him! Anyhow, do have a nice reading session <3
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Vox x Cuddly! Fem! Reader
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✩Despite what one would initially think, Vox is not averse to affection; when he’s not in a bad mood due to the other Vees or Alastor, he’s pretty level headed and as such he’s willing to accept intimacy. He expects it from you, his lovely girlfriend, after all, since you’re quite the cuddle bug.
✩ He doesn’t talk much during cuddles, opting to just hold you and let you speak if you’re in the mood to. He mostly hums as a response and smiles when you nuzzle your face into his neck, thinking of how cute your face must look like all squished up. This is also due to him thinking that it's kind of awkward to talk during intimate moments, so if he does expect it to be a short snarky remark.
✩If you want to cuddle him while he’s working, sure! He will let you do that, as long as nobody is watching. Some PDA is okay for him, but this much flusters him, admittedly. He’ll use one hand to do whatever is needed and the other will periodically reach into your hair and massage your scalp, or hold onto your waist and squeeze it slightly. He finds it quite endearing that you enjoy this activity so much, and it takes him nothing to accommodate you.
✩If you want to be the small spoon during cuddles in bed or on the couch, that’s his preferred position. He’ll wrap his arms around you protectively as that’s all you need to feel to know that he’s there with you. His screen head is a bit awkward to cuddle with...but through the years he’s figured out ways to not make it difficult to cuddle.
✩If you want to be the big spoon however, he’ll be a bit embarrassed at first; it’ll need a bit of adjusting but he’s not totally opposed to it, actually he quite enjoys it during a hard and tiring day at work. He fully thinks that he deserves to be taken care of like this. If you bring this up in public though, again, he will be flustered and deny it as professionally as he can.
✩The only issue with Vox and cuddling is that he doesn’t love doing it for too long, either because he’s busy or because he simply gets bored and the positions are a bit uncomfortable after a while, so unless you spice it up with kisses and such he will either let go of you and leave or get out of your grasp with ease, depending on who’s cuddling who. If you act sad because of this he will pinch your cheek and tell you to wait until later, as he’s got quite some work to do now.
✩If you’re only cuddly with Vox, that’s all fine and dandy by him. If you’re cuddly with other people as well though, such as your friends, he’s going to get jealous. He knows very well that for it to be a healthy relationship you two would need to talk about this calmly, but part of him wants to just blow up at the thought that you could enjoy cuddles with somebody else. Are his not enough? Maybe the time you spend cuddling is what’s not enough; he can’t do much about it though, he’s a busy man and he simply doesn’t enjoy too much affection in one go. Still, he’ll squeeze you extra tight next time you go up to him and ask to cuddle, and remind you that you’re his – this could be interpreted in different ways, but I quite simply meant with his words!  -.
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drchucktingle · 1 year
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mr. dr. chuck, i'm a few months ago i told a doc of mine that i believe i'm on the spectrum (after yeeeears of considering all the reasons why i thought so) and she agreed with me. then i came to some conclusions about members of my family. then i started melting down and haven't really recovered.
i'm in my 30's, but my life feels like it's been the mistake-addled 24th year for over a decade. people, choices, wants, they feel like things that were silly blips and not of much substance. i'm tired and my body hurts, so it feels harder to get to things i need. doctors don't seem like they can be trusted because of all the other ways i show up in the world.
i'm worried about my life and my future, and it feels like my magic is gone (or that i can't touch it right now). do you have any words of wisdom for someone who found out this really big thing about themselves kind of late?
thank you.
hello buckaroo thank you for writing. first of all i will say MOST IMPORTANT thing to remember is that it is okay and valid to FEEL the way that you feel. your reaction to this news or any news really is not wrong. that does not mean you cant wish for another reaction or WORK TOWARDS another reaction, but in grand cosmic sense this is just your way. YOUR TROT IS VALID and we all have our own unique way. sometimes that path is an easy path with sunny days and smiles and a glorious view, and sometimes it is through the darkness of shadows or crawling through the old bog. we can PREFER one path over the other, but neither is WRONG.
when giving advice old chuck tries to not PROJECT what i think YOU should do because that is not really the point. this is your trot to trot and i do not think it is my place to act like some authority of your way. what chuck can do is tell you MY story of diagnosis and how it made ME feel and maybe you can take little pieces of that for yourself.
chuck learned of way on autism spectrum when i was in early twenties by doctor who said 'yes this is your way'. when i learned of my spectrum way my reaction was: wow this is very very cool i am so lucky because all of my heroes are autistic and now i am in this RADICAL CLUB. we are special and unique and DANG what a treat wish i could have a membership card in my wallet to show all my buds.
now obviously this is not everyones reaction, but as starting off point i wonder what it would have meant to my future if the news would have HIT ME IN A BAD WAY. if i would have felt let a dang robot alien who didnt belong. maybe id be swimmin through the bog ever since.
thing is I LIKE ROBOT ALIENS they are very cool. doctor did not MAKE me different, i was different already, our talks just popped a nice little name on it for me to take or leave. i took the name proudly because DATA from stars trek (certified robot alien) is exactly how i already felt and dang what a cool character and dang what a great life. so was DAVID BYRNE. so was every cool buckaroo artist that i liked. cowboys are OUTSIDER HEROES and that is how my autism makes me feel.
so like i said, i do not know about YOUR way, but MY WAY of hearing this news was heaps of joy and excitement. i will also say that it is very DIFFICULT to find this reaction later if your first leap is feeling in a sad way about it. so maybe if you want to trot back in your mind to those first few steps it would be helpful. maybe mentally trot to where you were pushed off a dang cliff and think "well was i pushed off a cliff or was i just told 'hey bud youve been floating this whole time?"'
because if youve been floating then DANG thats a lot of power. thats not falling. you can float up, you can float down, you can float side to side.
the next thing i will say AS AND ARTIST is that years of toiling and feeling aimless are NEVER actually aimless when it comes to creation. and to LIVE in a human body is to be an artist, because you are CONSTANTLY CREATING the future. when i am writing and i dont have an idea for my next book that can be frustrating, but it is also PART of the process. if i walk to the store to rustle up my mind, or wander around the park, or spend a whole WEEK feeling weird because of writers block THAT IS ALL PART OF MAKING GREAT ART. that is not wasted time. in other words, your years of toiling are not wasted time, that is just the process we all have when we are creating a future masterpiece.
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addisonnie · 1 year
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hinge and uhaul
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summary: college!au. when all else fails…one must look for love on hinge!
an: hi! back from hiatus and of course it would be for a clump of pixels because i am down astronomically bad! this is the first part of a possible series! so let me know if a part 2 is warranted.
warnings: cursing, reader has 0 rizz shes literally a mess, reader also rambles and lots of this is just her inner dialogue because why not. also not very edited and possible tense shifts because im the worst!
part 2 ———————————
Tinder is a soul-sucking vortex. 
A nightmarish flurry of shirtless mirror selfies, conservatives, and men that look like they’d hit on your mom after walking you to the door. Switching your profile settings from ‘men’ to ‘everyone’ seemed like the best option; It wasn’t. The best option would’ve been to delete your account and light your phone on fire after receiving the fourth “you send?” message in a row.
Hinge is a smaller soul-sucking vortex. At least you can deny their comments before you embarrass yourself by matching with a douche like that. Your account is set to ‘show me everyone’ and you can only hope that ‘everyone’ includes at least some good ones. Swiping and clicking on dating apps seems to be more of a game than it is actual match-making, a time-passer of sorts. 
Your roommate, Dina, huffs loudly from her lofted bed across the room, “would you get your sorry ass off of that app? It’s sad listening to you moan and groan about all the losers!”
You roll your eyes, “my soulmate could be the next person!”
No. No. No, again. Oooh…yes? 
You swipe through the girl’s page before deciding not to match with her, because who’s Hinge bio states that they’re still in love with their ex? Dina cheers while you huff and slam your phone onto your desk, spinning idly in your chair. The television on top of Dina’s purple mini fridge is playing a random episode of Bob’s Burgers and, for a moment, you forget about your ever-growing dating app addiction.
It’s not that you’re addicted per say. You just spend most of your downtime sitting in your bed and judging people’s profiles, when yours surely isn’t up to par either. Hey, at least you don’t have a picture of you holding a fish.
The rhythmic buzz of your phone quickly draws your eyes away from the cartoon on screen, your hand dramatically reaching for your phone.
Hinge: Ellie liked you! Tap to see the comment she left.
Ellie. That’s a cute name…fairly normal too! Surely she didn’t leave some weirdo comment about how your hair looks like it smells good. Your fingers fumble to tap on the notification and you feel a blush rising to your cheeks as you click on Ellie’s like.
She left her comment under a picture of you taken at a local museum. A big cheesy grin is painted across your face and there’s skeletal remains of some random dinosaur behind you, Dina is crouched under the jaw of the creature pretending to scream while she gets eaten. Hopefully this isn’t one of those situations where Ellie asks ‘if your friend is single.’
Nope. She left a simple comment. I love dinosaurs!!!
You smile as you quickly click on Ellie’s profile to see her. There are a couple pictures of her, and good god is she hot. Flushed, you quickly match with her.
But what do you say? This is life or death. You need this woman. 
Hey!
You’re hot
Do you want to have vicious lesbian sex with me?
Okay. Jesus, you are not good at this. While you mull over the keyboard attempting to decide what to say to the ever-attractive Ellie, another message comes in.
Hey, pretty girl!
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Your fingers are fumbling over the keyboard, your heart is beating, you’re planning you and Ellie’s wedding. You wonder if she likes lace or prefers the classic look?
Hey! What’s up?
Nothing really. Just playing some guitar!
Guitar? She just gets hotter. Did she also save puppies from a burning building? You wonder if she would want roses at the wedding. Hopefully not, too basic.
Ooooh guitar you say? Whatcha playing?
It’s a few moments before she responds and you’re biting the nail on your thumb awaiting her reply.
Whatever your favorite song is.
A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you smile and rest your head in your hand. 
Why don’t I tell you that over dinner?
It takes Ellie a few minutes to respond this time and you’re sure you’ve managed to scare her off at the mention of an actual date. Her reply comes just as you go to turn your phone off,
How about you give me your number and we can talk more about this date?
————
Giving your number to Ellie was perhaps the best decision made in your life thus far. She constantly sends text messages of whatever she’s doing, wearing, eating, or strumming on her guitar. It’s been about a week since you first exchanged information and you’re slightly worried that Ellie no longer wishes to go out on a date. You’ve tried to ‘accidentally’ bump into her on campus multiple times, but she manages to just barely slip away each time. 
You’re sitting at your desk attempting to finish an essay when your phone rings in your lap. Ellie’s contact appears lit up on the screen and you just about scream when you grasp the phone between your fingers.
“Hello?” You’re already blushing.
“Hey, you! What’re you up to?” Ellie’s voice is loud into the microphone and you can make out multiple different voices on her end of the line.
“Nothing important,” you close your computer quickly, “why, what’s up?”
She takes a moment to answer as you hear her yell something to whoever else is in the room with her, “me and some friends are at a bar…will you come? Live music and stuff. Plus, I still haven’t taken you on that date!”
“Yes!” Okay, you probably should’ve tried to sound less excited. “Ehem…yes. Text me the address?”
You hear Ellie laugh before she happily responds, “will do! Text me when you get here and I’ll come out front to meet you.”
—————
Dina and her friends surely shop at Hookers R Us because where else would anybody find a skirt so goddamn short. 
“D. Dina. My cheeks are hanging out the bottom.” Dina rolls her eyes and tugs on the hem of the mini denim skirt.
“Well if you wore it down here,” she tugs the denim again, “instead of up to your tits like a grandma would…maybe it would be longer.”
Several shirts are thrown toward your perch on Dina’s desk chair, “what’s wrong with the shirt I have on?”
Dina’s boyfriend. Jesse, interjects, “because I don’t like it.”
“Okay, fashion police. How about this one?” You hold up a form fitting black top and Dina nods vigorously, “yes. But no bra. Show off them ladies!”
————
The Uber barely comes to a full stop as you clamber out of the backseat. Grasping for your phone, you text Ellie.
Here! :)
Was the smiley face overkill? Too much?
Cominh!!!!!
*Coming. Not drunk, I swear.
You think you’re the one doing the coming as you watch Ellie stroll towards you in the parking lot. If she was hot on Hinge, she’s ten-thousand times hotter in the dingy lighting that casts a magical glow upon her. She’s wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a white wife-beater, an old worn out flannel is unbuttoned over the top and rolled up just above her elbows. Her raggedy jeans are cuffed to the top of her converse and— wow is she a walking wet dream.
“Hey! I’m glad you came.” She doesn’t wait for an answer as she pulls you straight in for a hug, her calloused hands resting on your hips. You feel her finger tips touching the uncovered skin below your top, the contact makes you shiver.
Ellie squeezes you a little tighter before pulling away, leaving her arm draped over your shoulder, “c’mon, warmer inside.”
You let her lead you into the bar and through the slight crowd congregated near the entrance. A small group of people stand huddled next to the bar and Ellie leads you straight to them as she leans down to speak in your ear, “those are my friends.”
You nod and shamelessly nudge your body to be tucked further into her side, blushing profusely when you feel her arm tighten around your shoulders.
“Guys, this is the girl I was telling you about! And these are my friends I mentioned on the phone.” Ellie smiles while she introduces you to everyone and as much as you enjoy the domesticity of hanging out with her friends, you much prefer the nook you’ve found nestled under Ellie’s toned arm.
———
Her face leans down by your ear again, “wanna drink? I’ll get you one.”
You smile up at her, “would you shoot me if I said I want an espresso martini instead of the beer you’ve been nursing all night?”
She giggles into your ear and her breath fans across your face, “one espresso martini, coming up!” 
She pulls away and salutes you before turning around and marching to the other end of the bar, waving her arm to grab the bartender’s attention.
“So you’re the lucky lady? I’m Abby, Ellie’s friend.” Damn, she is buff as hell. Her toned arm stretches across a barstool to shake your hand.
You stare at her open palm, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. Who still shakes hands? I’m done drinking for the night.”
She cracks a smile when you laugh and shake her hand anyways, “nothing wrong with a good ol’ handshake.”
You speak with Abby while you wait for Ellie to return with your martini. She’s leaning up against the wood and speaking to the bartender as he pours the concoction into a glass. How she manages to look so appealing at all times is an enigma. Her short hair is pulled half-up into a bun while the rest barely skims the top of her shoulders, the botanical tattoo on her forearm sticks out from under her rolled-up sleeve and—fuck. You’re drooling.
Double-fuck. She caught you staring.
You blush when she throws a wink your way, turning back toward the bar to grab your drink. 
And then she’s in front of you once more, “malady.”
She slides in between your legs while you sit atop the cushioned barstool (which you’re pretty sure makes a fart noise any time you move) and rests both of her hands on your hips.
Lifting the drink to your mouth, you hum happily when the flavor covers your tongue, “good?”
“Really good. Superb.” Ellie chuckles and leans in toward you, placing a kiss in the hollow of your collarbone, “c’mon, there’s some more people I want you to meet.”
————
You’re not exactly sure how you ended up in this position but good god do you wish you could die right here and right now. Ellie is leaning up against the poster-covered wall of the bar with you pulled tightly to her chest. Your back is pressed against her front and one of her arms is wrapped around you, long fingers splayed across your lower stomach. She’s talking animatedly to the guy standing in front of you two and in all honestly you can’t focus on what they’re talking about while you feel the tips of Ellie’s fingers rest upon the skin under your skirt. 
It’s innocent. She doesn’t realize her fingers have traveled just south of the top of your skirt, but you’d be lying if you said the feeling of her calloused fingertips below the belt didn’t make you squirm. Her auburn hair tickles the side of your face as your head rests back in the crook between her neck and shoulder. And even better—her cheek presses to the top of your head when there’s a lull in her current conversation.
Hearing the man she was speaking to bid his goodbyes, you turn in her arms. The one that was previously grasping a beer bottle quickly swaps to rest in the back pocket of your skirt instead, her other hand squeezes your hip.
“Hi.” She smiles at you.
“Hi.” You press a kiss to her cheek.
The feeling leaves Ellie warm and she squeezes you a few times before ultimately deciding to cut to the chase and lean in. It’s a sweet peck, a little tipsy kiss that leaves you buzzing and floating outside of your body. The bright, crooked smile she gives you after pulling away punches the air from your lungs and Jesus Christ— now you understand the U-Haul lesbians because in this moment you are well and truly fucked. If this woman, this stranger, asked you to pack your shit and move in, you would.
And the look she gives you as she brushes a stray piece of hair behind your ear tells you she might just feel the same.
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wearepurplejackets · 2 months
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Little recap of episode 4 of season 4 of Wakfu
Look at this!!
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You saw this beautiful smile???? This smile can stop babies from crying (and Nora). This smile can revive a puppy.
You saw it???
Well, I hope you did because I think we'll not see it in a really loooooooong time~ (maybe 9... Or 10 episodes.) The storm is coming... violently with a bat.
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(BEHOLD SPOILERS OF EP 4 OF SEASON 4 OF WAKFU)
I remember Tot said season 4 was gonna be sad a f*ck and that Yugo will have to pass some kind of "hard trial" (AGAIN) in this season because this kid will never have a good rest. Not even a breath. Stop. Give this little boy some holidays c'mon, the lord is always testing our little angel to the limit. (And by lord I mean Ankama I'm looking at you...)
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So it's very likely that Yugo will start to suffer even more in the next episode. And of course, in the entire season :))))))) Let this boy have something, someone precious by his side more than an instant and stop take it from him in the next second, I beg you. (He just found his family... And... Qilby I guess. And Adamai just abandoned him already to investigate by his own way...)
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Just seeing how the kings and queens of every nation were so disrespectful in front of him and just called his mother a monster and made her cry, well. (I want to riot! When Joris said they were "quite tense" he fell short.)
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Okay, yes, I understand the eyes in the sky~ are pretty creepy and of course I don't trust her either, at least, like this is so suspicious for sure, no one was born yesterday even when she is trying to be so kind and helpful monitoring the entire planet (yeessss mom, way too much).
But, c'mon, this is a goddess as tall as... I don't know, as much as she wants, girl she is made of f*cking magic. If she wanted she could erase you from existence. She didn't have to give a f*ck about anyone and HERE WE ARE~
The best thing you can do is looking for a fight with her in the moment you meet her with no hesitasion? Do you want to die that much? Do you know about survival? Did you skip that class maybe? (I'm going for a tea BECAUSE-)
It was so necessary to (be a little racist dear rich people and) insult the giant blue mother of your hero in his f*cking face and the people who are at least trying to do your job (which any of you losers did well, like ever, btw. When Sadida kingdom was about to be destroyed by the chaos of Ogrest what did you do?? Eh, where were you???)
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Jobs like protecting and saving your citizens from, nothing, being robbed and I don't know: imminent death??? I mean, really? Was that all you thought about in this situation? Being a d*ck was your best choice.
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These same guys here were talking about stolen freedom?? What freedom? The brotherhood of Tofu had to save your asses for like 3 season. 3 ovas and dozens of comics. The same people who criticize others actions but never assist and reunite when they are needed, Cause I don't know Rick, it seems a little fake....
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Yugo just met his mom and his sis and he already has the world of 12 hating them... Like wow, the rulers are all going to die in the hands of that kind of white demon/zombies of TLOU/soul suckers or whatever they are. And I really don't give a f*ck for any of them, ladies and gentlemen. Only the crowns are going to remain. (Down with the monarchy.)
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Weeeeeeeell.
You know what? I don't care what Yugo will do from this point. Nop, not a bit. But I'm with him to the end of everything. I will support you honey, I will defend you no matter what. I mean, I'll be totally okay if he decides to save the world for the third f*cking time and I also will be okay if in the end he prefers to let all these motherf*ckers die in an instant with no mercy and no regre-
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And it could even happen that Yugo loses someone important in season 4... (The same way I will lose my mind.) Hope that never happens, I just swear to god-
Anyway, Yugo fans, unite and brace yourselves.
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i-luvsang · 6 months
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barista!au — choi san
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pairing : barista!san x gn!reader ➖⟢ genre : fluff ➖⟢ cw : unedited, sorry if your drink preferences don't match reader's lmao ➖⟢ wc : 0.8K
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⟢ barista!san is just about the sweetest guy imaginable
⟢ he actually adores his job and it shows; it’s really quite admirable
⟢ he’s kind to each and every one of his customers (so long as they’re kind to him and the people around!! he doesn’t take shit from anyone tbh)
⟢ but he just loves to feel like he can be a good part of someone’s day with his dazzling smile and delicious drinks
⟢ those two things certainly brighten up your day, so much so that it took you just a week to become a regular customer
⟢ his blushing cheeks, shy, but uncontrollable smile, and never failing kindness have you eagerly coming back for more
⟢ plus his spiced chai lattes are some of the best you’ve had, both iced and hot
⟢ that alone could have you hooked as a regular, but you suppose it doesn’t excuse the way that you pay close attention to when san is on shift
⟢ he’s glad you’re there almost every day he has the mid morning shift, but he gets a bit jealous when wooyoung tells him you were there hours after his normal shift one day
⟢ of course, that all goes away the next day when you show up during his shift explaining to him that you had an unexpected appointment
⟢ that fact that you tell him without him even asking gets his hopes up, so when you say that you were sad to miss him, his heart is sent into a frenzy
⟢ all flustered, he puts the wrong drink into the tablet and neither of you realize until the drink is made and you’re taking a sip of it
⟢ you don’t notice because the price isn’t any different than what you expected, and he was on autopilot, too busy thinking about the fact that you wanted to see him yesterday and the way that you look stunning in your outfit today
⟢ but when you do sip it, it’s clear it’s not what you ordered. afterall, chai lattes don’t really taste like the matcha latte you wanted today
⟢ “oh, san, this is a chai!” you say, goodnatured and not upset one bit
⟢ “yep!” he’s a bit confused why you pointed that out for a split second, then his face falls. “oh my god, is that not what you ordered?”
⟢ you have to resist the urge to laugh out loud because of how mortified you look. “no, i ordered a matcha latte, but it’s no problem! i can’t help it if fate’s decided that i need two treats today. my bank account may not like it, but i do!”
⟢ he looks a bit more relieved that you’re not upset about it, but he’s still quick to apologize.
⟢ “and your bank account will not suffer in the slightest, the matcha’s on the house! thank you for telling me, i’d hate for you to walk out without the drink you really wanted.”
⟢ “thank you,” you grin. “and seriously, it’s no big deal! you know how much i love your chai’s.”
⟢ “it’s a big deal to me!” he says, impassioned as he begins preparing the right drink. he’s glad there’s no one else waiting to order
⟢ “it’s important for me to get everyone’s order right, especially yours! getting the drink you’re in the mood for is a satisfaction i need to give all my customers.”
⟢ even though he’s included all of his customers, you can’t help but love the idea that he’s still said “especially you”
⟢ “especially me?” you echo back at him
⟢ he stumbles over his words a bit as he tries to explain. “well, i mean, yeah! i mean, you’re the one we’re talking about right now aren’t we! but– but also yes. yeah. especially you.” by the end he’s definitive, sure in his words and tone
⟢ “because you’re my favortie customer.”
⟢ you grin. “thanks. you’re my favorite barista.”
⟢ he’s really blushing now, with a wide smile to match yours
⟢ “well, if the feeling’s mutual, do you think i could get your number?” the way he says it is just a bit bashful, in the way that makes him so irresistably adorable
⟢ “i think that’s a great idea, my favorite barista.”
⟢ you’re going to have to stop calling him that, or his heart might burst
⟢ a few moments later, you’re handing him a napkin with your number on it in exchange for your matcha latte
⟢ “i also think it would be a great idea if you let me know when you get off work, so long as you’re not busy afterwards?”
⟢ you love making him smile like the way he is now, though you also think it may give you a heart attack with how lovely he looks
⟢ “i’m off at one, and i’m definitely not busy.”
⟢ “perfect. i’ll see you at one!” and with that, you’re out the door, two warm drinks in hand to brave the chilly air and a grinning glance back at him before you’re out of sight
⟢ he’s left with something in his heart that’s probably warmer than your two drinks combined and what he would like to call a bit of a dream come true
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heartsfourdazai · 6 months
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hello! I've been reading your posts for quite a while now and just got the courage to actually ask something. I would like to request Dazai, Chuuya, Atsushi, and Akutagawa with an S/O who has a chronic pain disorder (think EDS or fibro) that hides it SUPER well. how would they react to learning of the pain they are in day to day and just, act like isn't there. or would they catch on super quick? maybe they walk in on their S/O in bed unable to move due to pain? I would prefer fem reader but I don't mind if you do something else. Also, I'm giving you the freedom to pick the setup you want to do. hope you have a good week and make sure to take care of yourself!
with a chronic pain disorder reader
dazai, chuuya, atsushi, & akutagawa<3
warnings: lowercase writing
a/n: apologies in advance for any mistakes! ty for the request<33 female reader!!
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good luck trying to hide shit from this dude
he reads you like a book, so it's hard to keep secrets from him.
why would you?
in small words, he catches on real quick!
he hates how you try to hide it from him.
it makes him feel like you don't trust him to take care of you, and that you don't think it's a big deal.
literlly tries anything he can to make you feel more comfortable with your condition around him.
cuddling with you.
whispering sweet nothings into your ear when you started to bite your lip to stop your sobs.
just stays with you when you need him.
he doesn't know how to exactly feel when your pain? he knows what to do, yes, however he can't help but talk to himself while he's comforting you.
if you have trouble sleeping due to this pain, he'll be awake with you attempting to sooth you and distract you from the pain.
sometimes you never get sleep, affecting his own slumber, not sleeping for up to two days.
you feel terrible seeing him as tired as you are, to the point you feel like just crying but he's here to remind you it was his choice, and will stay awake for an eternity if it means to comfort you.
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just like dazai, good luck tryin to hide anything from him.
he knows when your happy.
he knows when your sad.
he's like santa, dude knows you!
you couldn't get out of bed. he had to come back all the way home from work to get you out and actually help you stand.
entering your room, you were curled into sobbing ball, his heart shattering into small glass pieces.
he has to think on his feet for this one, and just sat in bed with you, a leg crossed over one as he sat on the edge.
his hand rubbed your back gently, shushing you softly when he heard your sobs turn louder with each second.
he's known about your condition the moment he started dating you, although you were hiding it at first when you met him and started working for the port mafia, you weren't the best at hiding it from him.
he has sharp eyes, and just knows.
sometimes it's scary, but that doesn't worry you.
if he notices you have trouble sleeping, he's in bed with you. if you kick from the pain and hit him, he doesn't care. he just keeps holding you until your calm.
usually you fall asleep, but on the nights when you stay up till 4am and your still not asleep but really tired, he awake with you and distracting you.
asking you what your excited for today. if you want to go on a date sometime to your favorite place in Yokohama.
he's by your side. all the time.
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i see atsushi as a visual person.
he's a mixture of dazai and chuuya when he catches on people hurting.
he keeps an close eye on his friends, making sure they're not hurt or sad.
so off the bat he notices you trying to hide your pain. your his girlfriend, how could he not notice he's around you almost all day, besides different missions that you've both been assigned to.
he confronts you when your both alone.
please don't lie to him. he already knows your in pain and is ready to help you.
well, try his best to!
he wants you to talk to him and feel comfortable around him so he can help!
so...after a while you do speak to him alone at home.
now he's on his feet, not trying to keep you to himself, but just keeps an extra eye on you now that he knows about your condition.
when he see's you in pain, he's quick to come and comfort you and help you with whatever you need.
trouble breathing? he's here to help you and demonstrate.
terrible pain? he'll rub that said spot with a gentle touch and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.
he's just so sweet and paient with you, you can never get annoyed at him when he helps you.
if you have trouble sleeping he'll heat you up a nice tea and let you choose a movie you want to watch.
if you do fall asleep, boom his idea worked, but if you both stay up the entire night because of your pain he won't complain. he'll just help you the best way he can.
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um.
i think...he'll just be quiet.
like, he has no idea how to comfort people.
and if your in pain? what-what can he do?
he's lived off pain, he is used to it. so seeing someone else in pain just causes him to freeze and walk away from the situation.
however he made a promise, to always be with you and you always be with him.
its liked you both signed a love contract to never leave each other.
sure, an arugument that may last for a while is bound to come across your relationship- but he never wants to actually hurt you.
back to the main point lmao-
maybe he'll hold your hand...to let you know your not alone??
he doesnt...like...seeing you in pain. and especially because it's something you cant control makes it worse for him.
tears start forming in your eyes and you cry?
fuck. what does he do now?
well, he actually hugs you.
sure. he's stiff...but his touch actually makes you feel safer and good.
he stared to notice you started to try and hide your pain from others besides him, and that just sends a warm and fuzzy feeling inside of him.
butterflies?
your not even doing anything!!
that just proves he cares for you and may not say it.
if he catches you taking all-nighters, he just lays in bed with you.
usually...he never sleeps either.
he stays up late or even sleeps at all.
so your both in the same boat for that part.
he's trying his best. he does care, but has a hard time showing that off to you
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subastian-swallows · 11 months
Text
FLUFF ALPHABET — HLC
Ominis Gaunt ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
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Category: Fluffy Fluff ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Ominis adores the way you see the world, and not in a ‘well I can’t see so you tell me,’ kind of way. But in a way that he could listen to you for hours, simply explaining what flower you saw on your walk today or about the bee that attacked Sebastian in Herbology. He adores the way you experience the world around you and he feels almost connected with you — because of it. He’s never cared for seeing things, he got used to it and had years to practise. But listening to you talk about everything that makes you happy, makes him happy and what makes you sad, makes him sad. He could say he adores the way you laugh, when you’re really happy or how your voice quivers slightly when you’re sad, but that would be too easy an answer. Instead, he adores the little things — things people might not notice, but he does. Like how your voice elevates when you’re excited or when your answers grow short when you’re grumpy. He adores it all.
B = Body (what is their favourite part of your body?)
Ominis is a lot more subtle about this, abruptness being Sebastian’s thing. And the thing about his favourite parts of you, is well everything. Of course, this answer would frustrate you a little — thinking it’s him taking the easy way out of answering, until he pulls you towards him. He would then grumble and slowly map out each part of you, how your nose angles a certain way, or how your eyes crinkle at the sides when your happy, or how your lips curves perfectly no matter if your happy or sad. He would explain in soft detail, that he might not be able to see you, but he can feel you and it helps the image of you in his head. So that is why his favourite parts of you is everything — he has created the perfect imagine of the perfect person for himself and that is you.
C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)
Ominis cuddles depend on his mood much like Sebastian. But unlike Sebastian who I believe prefers touching in a different way, like holding your hand — Ominis needs almost full body contact. For example: resting his head in your lap, hands playing with your fingers, while you speak about your day. Or holding you from behind as you sit in his lap, studying. Or the full body embraces you provide him when he has a nightmare, the pressure of you being the perfect thing to bring him back to the ground. Ominis is subtle about PDA in front of others, partly unsure of himself and constantly feeling like you could do better, but that doesn’t stop him from cuddling you quickly and acting like he’s reaching for a book in the Library or a vial in Potions.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
Ominis’ ideal date is being with you. And yes, that might sound lame or an easy answer — but to Ominis, he doesn’t see it that way. Truthfully, he just wants to do anything that makes you happy, anything that allows him the chance to hear the change in your voice when you’re excited or the noises you make when you’re surprised. He just likes knowing you’re happy and if that means he’s begrudgingly following you into a cave, gripping your hand tightly and wishing he had more of a backbone with you, then so be it. More often than not, Ominis prefers to visit Hogsmeade with you or the lake, just enjoying each other’s company while you explain what you can see. He loves listening to you talk and just sitting in the common room together — is more than enough.
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
Ominis is more subtle. I feel like subtly is something he has become accustomed to, growing up the way he did — showing weakness was treated like the worst thing imaginable and so he got really good at hiding it. He doesn’t mean to be like this, more often than not, feeling a little guilty about holding so much in — but with you, he slowly opens up more. You bring out the part of him that he thought he had lost and he knows he could never repay you for that. When Ominis is angry, it’s perhaps the only time you know for certain — he’s a hot head in the complete 180 to Sebastian and he grows quiet. He doesn’t necessarily want to take it out on you, so he hides until he can speak his mind — it usually being about you putting yourself in harms way etc. He doesn’t like being angry at you and it doesn’t happen often — but you know when giving him space is needed.
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
Now this is a hard one. For I believe that Ominis wouldn’t want to continue his family’s bloodline. I think he would have drilled it into his head, that he didn’t deserve the happiness of a family, feeling sick at the idea of his bloodline expanding. But you would change that eventually, perhaps even by accident. Truthfully, he just doesn't like the idea, but I think deep down — raising a child with you, would bring him more joy than he could even admit. If it happened by accident, I think he would find it nerve-racking at first, scared that he wouldn't do a good job — considering how he was raised. But you would easily win him over and when the time came to it, he realises he was simply being foolish — and he ends up being a great father and even better husband.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
Ominis loves gifting you things. It's another subtle way of him to express his love to you — without having to say it out loud, which he finds hard sometimes. His gifts at first were a little lavish and you eventually had to tell him that you don't need such things, but Ominis usually doesn't listen — and buys them anyway. The more subtle things would be flowers or chocolate and they would be hand delivered in secret or on passing — you would be busily focused on something in the courtyard, maybe with your friends. He would appear out of the blue, kissing you on the head, before handing it to you and disappearing again — not needing a thank you.
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
Hand holding is something really intimate to Ominis — he loves it, loves the feeling of your hand in his and he especially loves tracing the lines and curves of your fingers and palm. He often doesn't mind if others notice, but more often than not, Ominis doesn't like showing other's that side of him. Like I said, he's not big on PDA, but that doesn't stop him from holding your hand — subtly holding them beneath the table in the great hall or beneath your robes as you sit close together on the benches watching the latest Quidditch match.
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
Ominis would be livid. He would also be completely panicked and overwhelmed — worried over if you were seriously injured. Truthfully, Ominis would be the first at your side and the last at your side — constantly asking you if you need anything or what he could do to make things easier. If the injury was due to someone else, well they better watch out — Ominis holds a grudge like no other and he would make sure they are punished rightfully so. In the end he would dote on you hard, fluffing your pillows, helping you eat — despite you saying you can do it. He would just be super sweet.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
Ominis joking around is hard to come by — but not impossible. He usually needs help, possibly coming to you in a weird mood and being like 'lets mess with Sebastian today?' This would be just little things like misplacing his belongings, ignoring him. Ominis doesn't tend to be one who plays pranks, but will join in on occasion. He does love teasing you though and tickles, Ominis is very ticklish.
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
Ominis' kisses are soft, passionate, loving and memorable. Depending on the situation, Ominis kisses you as if he's going to lose you — as if you will realise you deserve better. When his kisses are soft, he kisses you delicately — his lips lingering in each spot he places them and he always ends them with a small smile. When his kisses are passionate, he kisses you with desire and longing — as if he is under a spell and his hands twist wildly in your clothes, pulling you close, desperate for your touch. When his kisses are loving and memorable, he kisses with devotion — with the idea that he wants to remember you completely. He normally traces your face with his fingers, but more often than not, he prefers doing it with his lips, his tongue. He wants to create your picture in his mind and lock it away forever, never wishing to forget it.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)
Ominis, like Sebastian is three of the five, love languages. Words of affirmation, Quality time and Physical touch. He loves telling you his feelings, especially when you both can slip away from the world. He needs you to hear it often, something he wasn't accustom to growing up and so he goes, almost over the top to make sure you know his feelings — this is only when you both finally told each other. Before that Ominis typically bottles everything up. Quality time and Physical touch is just as important to Ominis — being near you, touching you, even if it's just your hand, makes him incredibly happy and it's how he shows you in public that he loves you. You're the first person he wants to talk to and the last, he needs you with him at all times — and you willingly agree to it.
M = Memory (favourite memory together?)
First time you bring him to the Room of Requirement. It's the middle of sixth-year and your Hippogriffs have had their babies and all you want to do is share it with him. Ominis has always been curious — but also incredibly nervous. It's the first time you touch hands, in more of intimate way, than just normal. You support him and he trusts you, to pat the Hippogriffs — and he can't stop himself from kissing you. It's sudden and a little awkward — his lips missing yours slightly as he moves to fast and you laugh, before supporting him to do it right again.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
His family is usually what he has nightmares of. What he was made to do, what he had to go through with etc. You often find him shakily keeping busy in the Undercroft after his nightmares and when you make yourself known — it doesn't take long before he breaks down in your arms. You allow him to cry, for there is nothing wrong with it and you simply just hold him — tightening your grip around him when he needs it. You then talk, about anything really and you keep talking into Ominis feels better. Reminding him constantly that he isn't them and he is a good person.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
Ominis hums when he’s focused. At first you thought someone had charmed something in the Library to play music, when it got really quiet. But it was and had always been Ominis, his soft humming a tune — that has become his favourite. He doesn’t notice it either and it’s always when he’s so focused on something else that the only one who does is you or the others around him. You find it incredibly cute, Ominis finds it super embarrassing and yet — can’t help himself most of the time.
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
Darling
My Love
Angel
Beloved
Beautiful
Mi Amore
Trouble
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
Ominis doesn't care how he spends his time with you. It could be studying in the Library, lazing in the sun in one of the courtyards or simply sitting in the common room together. All that matters is that you're both together and aren't interrupted. He enjoys every moment where he gets to spend it with you and when you're apart, he simple whines so much that eventually Sebastian drags him to you and tags you in — you laugh every time.
R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)
Yours - Conan Gray
Die For You - Joji
Until I Found You - Stephen Sanchez
Those Eyes - New West
j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey
Complex - Katie Gregson-Macleod
I'm In Love With You - The 1975
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
Ominis is more secretive, but not because he doesn't trust you. Truthfully, it's because he doesn't want to burden with you with all of the drama he deals with behind closed doors. The constant pressure from his family, often gets too much and when you eventually find him and question him about it — he tries to wave it away. You, however are stubborn and when you sit him down and get it out of him, Ominis slowly breaks down his walls and tells you everything.
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
End of the sixth-year. With everything that happened in your fifth-year, anything 'feeling' related was put on hold. Truthfully, from the beginning of the sixth-year, Ominis knew he was in love with you, realising almost quite quickly that he didn't want to be away from you. Then it became awkward for a bit — perhaps, because Ominis thought you wouldn't feel the same, Sebastian was more your type...right? It's only after you both study together, tucked away in the back of the Library that he thoughts spill out — before he can stop them and he wonders what you think of him. He's shy now, but you smile and lean over and kiss his cheek softly — Ominis blushes hard and all you leave him with is one thing: 'I like you, Ominis, took you long enough to figure it out.' You both start dating in private for a while, before telling anyone.
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
Ominis can always tell. For some reason he's tuned into your emotions better than you are — knowing exactly when it changes, even just by a little. Perhaps, it's with how much time you spend together, but when you're upset, before you even need to say anything — Ominis whisks you away from everyone and nestles you in an embrace. He holds you for a while, until you either laugh or cry — depending on why you're upset and when you eventually tell him what's happened, he always knows how to make you happy.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
Ominis is proud of you. How could he not be? He's never met a more interesting, stubborn, intelligent, beautiful person — and everything you do either amazes him or stresses him out. Either way, he's always discussing your talents and everything you've accomplished — truthfully, he just loves you. He doesn't need to show you off and well, to be honest — he doesn't want to. You see if he did, then you'd have more interest your way and well, Ominis doesn't want to share your attention.
W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)
He doesn't hate you fighting, but he doesn't like it. Truthfully, he just wants you to be safe and he already stresses out enough with you and Sebastian's friendship — that listening to you talk about Ashwinders and poachers, gives him a headache. Ominis would fight beside you, for you and with you — if you asked. He hates people considering him to be less than, because he's blind — but don't be mistaken, having Ominis with you, is a great asset and you love it. Especially when he gets all hot and sweaty.
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
Ominis can read you better than you can read yourself. He's so tuned into you, that it's almost scary that he just knows what's going on with you and if you're happy or sad. Truthfully you love it, for the most part — considering it means you never have to say much, which helps when you're sad. But, it can be a little frustrating when you're mad at him and he won't give you space, when you need it.
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
Ominis would be reluctant, perhaps the idea had come up — but considering how he feels about his family, he would be worried about you. When he eventually gets over this and stops being a coward, his words, Ominis would propose to you in a romantic way. Consider, receiving a letter to ask you to meet in a spot you both had your first kiss and he would propose, with his whole heart, explaining in every little detail that he will take care of you for the rest of your life and he can't see himself with anyone else. He would remember from past conversations your favourite gemstone and would get a ring made with it — one of a kind, just like you.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
You.
HOPE YOU ENJOY MY LOVES! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ
Tagging: @spaceyaceface <3 enjoy hehe
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thelikesoffinn · 4 months
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Bro why do u hate ascended Asterion so much? He's still asterion
Would you believe me if I told you that I actually don't hate ascended Astarion? Because I really don't!
Now, do I think it's a sad ending? Yes, yes I do. But do I hate it? Absolutely not.
Quite the opposite, actually. I do like the ascended ending for what it is - the bad ending. It's really really well written and I do enjoy it in it's own special way. What I don't like, however, is the attitude a lot of people face it with.
This entire 'ascension is the best ending for him' and 'it's the right choice for him, even if it isn't good'. 'not letting him ascend is selfish because that is what he wants!', 'he still loves you after ascension' and 'he's still the same, just strong' is what I dislike.
Like, if you're into that ending and you prefer it for some reason, that's totally cool, but claiming this is the best ending for him? Damn, that hurts my heart and my soul.
Why I can't even say. Maybe it's because of who I am - both a social worker and a child raised by abusive, narcissistic parents - but to me it's glaringly obvious what ascension will cost him. It's so clear what he is giving up and WHY he is giving it up because, in my own way, I've been there myself. And I've worked with people who've been there as well. (Less murderous, obviously, but equally as self-destructive!)
And because I've been there - on both sides, his and Tav's - I know that none of that will be necessary if there's one person next to him that says 'Hey. Astarion, I know you're hurting but...you don't need to run and hide anymore. You're free and...you're enough.'
So everytime someone claims that ascension is the best ending for him, that it's his good ending and that not letting him ascend is the selfish thing to do, oh boy. It really grinds my gears!
But, in the end, I don't hate the ascended ending at all.
If we're talking companion-endings that I hate, I'd personally propose Karlach choosing death, actually! Because that? That's just unnecessarily dumb.
I know she doesn't want to go back and I know why, I really do, but the thing is...It won't be like before. Things have already changed and they will keep on changing from now on. She's a different Karlach already, so the change is unavoidable! I mean, she's not working for Zariel anymore and, even more importantly: She won't be alone! She has friends now, actual friends that would definitely accompany her if she asked them to. Shit, Wyll even offers it up on his own without being asked! She can come back to the surface from time to time, because it seems like her heart can take periods outside of Avernus as long as she returns once it get's bad. Like, shit, make the House of Hope your homebase, girl! Granted, Hope is a bit ditzy but I'm sure she'll be a joy to be around! And it doesn't even need to be forever! Like, come on, we're already trying to make sure that a fucking vampire can walk in the sun without the use of a tadpole or ascension, I'm sure we can all pencil in 'find a new heart for babygirl' or whatever. And there's Dammon!!! Dammon is smart and talented and unnecessarily handsome and lovable, so he'll surely find a way to fix that darn engine as long as she's alive!
So yeah, that's an ending I actually do hate! Maybe because it feels like conversations I have with clients all the time - scared people and people with trauma can be so extremely stubborn, believe it or not - so it just hits a nerve, haha.
(Oh and I also hate Lae'zel's ascension. The girl is so smart and still doesn't notice how full of shit Vlaakith is? Nah, that's just heresy, I won't accept that one. I know loyalty and morals are a thing, but still no. Blegh.)
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