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reilliane · 3 months

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This is my personal obligatory post and apology for my poofing disappearance- if you're not up to read things like these, then feel free to scroll past! Have a good day/night!

—

the poofing, the poofed, and the un-poofing.

TLDR; Bad stuff happened for the entire past year, stopped college just a few months ago to learn the materials myself and market myself in the graphic design industry soon, and got a whole dose of religious epiphany that threw my life around. Wrote in a different account a few months ago to ease and destress without much expectation. Will continue to write albeit there won’t be many updates, had/have to drop original writing plans [right now focusing on a short story for Wanderer, though it doesn’t mean I won’t be able to write for others when I get the time]. May unfortunately discontinue ongoing AUs but will provide a summary for them [I think it’s only Tyranny-?] Will also open writing/art commissions soon, maybe set up a kofi account, but I won’t be ‘gatekeeping’ any content I plan to post. I’m thinking, if ever, it’d only be standalone specials or maybe nsfw [gosh I’m really saying that?] in kofi, buuut that’s just a maybe. Everything else is free to read of course <3

A really detailed and long [I MEAN IT, MAYBE 1.3-.5K?? WC] exposition under the cut, but of course, it’s optional to read!

PS. I opened my drafts and had one or two finished works there, I will publish those soon. Get ready. Because they’re angst AHAAAAAAAAAA-

PPS. I won’t be able to respond to everyone’s sweet shucking messages in my inbox forgive me But know that I’M REALLY SO TOUCHED YALL I really didn’t think anyone would look for me that much 😭 Someone said I vanished like the avatar and it’s sending me crumpling to the floor.

ALRIGHT STORYTIME LET’S GO—first of all, I haven’t been on Tumblr for so long, nor have I interacted with anyone and coming back,, the web interface bamboozled me.

Anyway- the past year was roooough, like settling in and getting into college.

From the start, my brother and I have known of our depleting resources but couldn’t stop because of our mother’s insistence and my father’s very.. volatile attitude. Double the latter since he has cancer and has been nothing short of cranky and infuriated for the past years—knowing that the money is facing a downward slope because of his expensive medicines and learning that we’ll stop because of it would’ve,, been terribly bad and that's understating the nature of my headstrong, independent, and prideful father.

There were times when he was very somber about his state, but then mad—it was just a really bad time, but my brother and I finally convinced our mom that we had to stop for real a few months ago because money was just tight. Until now we’re hiding the fact from our dad that we stopped under the pretense that we’re only taking one course for the semester :v

We were very lost and torn.

I knew I had to go out and look for a job, but my brother would be doing the same, too—the thing was that we knew our mom couldn’t handle our dad being sick alone, so my brother opted to be the one to find work outside.

I’m learning materials and courses on my own at home, but finding a remote job without a degree is no doubt near unimaginable with how remote setups are almost nonexistent now. The time was just bleak at home, too, my father would ask for bad things to eat that would worsen his health and then blame it all on my mother when he felt body pains and repercussions—it was just BAD, that wasn't all of it, but I digress. Cancer sucks.

Just a few days ago, I lost my uncle to the same thing, and now there’s an overall family dispute over who gets what and it feels like I’m living a kdrama fever dream [pls get me out hfasjdkfhdsaf]. I don’t recommend it if it’s not romance lmao.

Things were getting so out of hand and I also couldn’t get back into writing or socializing with everyone in my writing socials—but I still wanted to write without the expectation of being able to deliver as I used to. It was a de-stresser for me, so I opened a new account in ao3/quotev and wrote in.. November or December, I think. It was nice, I got to just type away and post and leave it at that.

I think one of the reasons why I didn’t go to Tumblr for that was because I knew I wouldn’t be able to commit to updates, and I love you guys, I didn’t want to say something and promise it’d be given but then nothing. I’ve done it back then and I just, don’t want to do that :(

Despite how heavy and dark the past year was, however, something really unexpected happened—okay here it goes.

As a child, I’ve been taught about Christian doctrine and was brought up to believe in the existence of a God. I didn’t have my heart in it though, of course not, how was I to believe something that I only knew because someone said it to me?? I did attend church out of duty and had a shallow fear of the greater being, but as an authentic believing person? Naw.

Not until June at least.

I don’t know how to explain it rather I, out of the want to give my mother the chance to go somewhere she wanted to for Sunday, decided to join her for church. I was ready to just daze off and think about some solution to our problems, but then the sermon spoke to me—you know, that feeling when someone is passive-aggressively referring to you in a complaint or something?

It felt like that, only it felt like that message was something I was meant to hear, and boy I couldn’t believe it—neither did my mother [lol]. She told me how shocked she was when I listened throughout the what, an hour and a half of preaching that I usually just dismiss.

It’s cliche, but my life really changed after that one simple Sunday.

All my tweeeeenty years of living, I’ve asked if God really is real and whatnot and I never got answered until July of 2023. What really cemented my belief in knowing that he is real, is when I decided to genuinely pray—then for seven consecutive days, the Bible would lead me to a page [like just randomly opening a part of the book after prayer] that answered my questions and/or convicted me of something. I'd wake up every day and an event would happen that would answer my confusion and I'd sit in the night thinking 'no way that just happened', but it did. Boy, when I tell you I thought I was going crazy.

Not to mention opportunities such as baptism and ministry suddenly popped my way when I only had the idea in my head and I kept it to myself. At first, I thought it was just a coincidence, but when it ‘popped up’ more than thrice in a single week, I knew it wasn’t. Think of it as like, the thing in fanfiction when it seemed like the universe was saying something to you. Yeah, I felt that for myself. Mindblowing.

I could go on and on about the other life-changing things that occurred, but this would be so long LOL.

But I never regret coming to faith and accepting Jesus for real that day, and although life is still dark for me these days, the burden feels light. It’s an amazing feeling. He's really changed everything.

I’m not going to force anyone these beliefs—I knew how it felt to be on the receiving end and it could get very annoying, rather I just spoke on it to say how wonderful it was to know him, and it would be nice to let others know about my side in case they'd also take the faith. Who knows?

Also, I think I understand what those people were saying now. Again, I won’t force anyone—just reminding and asking you to try if you want, because it’s amazing. Bombard me in my inbox if you’re interested, but no pushing here, because I’m a firm believer that things shouldn’t be forced if it’s not the right time yet.

Anyway, that was my source of strength and hope to go through these days—and I believe it’s also the driving force that led me to write this out in.. in Tumblr of all places lol. If someone told me this would happen two years ago I'd laugh in their face 💀

Rather than just getting back into writing and opening my social circle again, there’s that bit in me that wants to say that religious epiphany. That said, I know how diverse everyone is in their beliefs so I’ll say it very tersely that, no, I will not be parading and pushing people to believe this and that—this space is, after all, my space for writing :)

Ah, and nor will I ramble about it like shuck lol, but I will, in private, when prompted.

With that out of the way, back into writing—I was floored when I first opened Tumblr and saw all the notifications and messages about my disappearance and I could’ve cried, really. It touches me poor heart :sob: and I wanted to thank all of you for such caring messages—I wouldn’t be able to reply to all of them [there were many!

Like maybe more than fifteen or twenty, not even counting the direct messages] but know that I’m very- very grateful for every one of you.

I could crawl out of your screen and hug yall but I won’t because I can’t and it’d throw people off KJHFSADKJFHALJSKDFHA

Life is, again, still hard—and navigating it is still difficult, but I’m managing these days. I can no longer return to my usual days of sporadic updates and teasers lol, but I’m happy to say I will still be writing, though it won’t be my entire focus nowadays. When I open writing commissions for genshin and art commissions, it’d get me going, of course.

I have to let go of most of my beloved works because I realized that sticking to them would take up most of my time when I need to be out there upskilling and taking initiative to start earning money to support the bills. I still wanted to write though, and in my downtime I even got to watching One Piece and writing a currently on-hold fanfiction for that in Ao3, but fuuully realized that, no, I’m no longer cut out for really long written stuff unless I commit to writing a long piece that would take weeks for it to be published.

In the end I settled for a single character [wanderer bb] short story that I get into writing without much hassle, and make myself happy, still :) I have ideas for other characters, too, but getting them out to be posted would take longer than usual.

My other AUs, as well, since my focus is just.. God, life, expenses, work, then hobbies. I don’t guarantee finishing them [I think Tyranny? And others, like Smite/Mercy/etc.], but I have in mind to write a summary because I meant it back then when I said the plot was really finished. Sighgisghsighs

Opening art commissions, I’d do that soon—writing, too.

Maybe a kofi account, as well—but I won’t be having any posts I want to be posted to be locked behind some tip or pay. I’m thinking of only adding specials there, specials like, standalone oneshots from an AU, or an nsfw piece. Oh golly, writing that is so beyond me, I think that’s the only reason why if anything is going to be in kofi, it’d probably be the nsfw. I plan to keep this writing blog sfw, still.

But we’ll,,, we’ll see [dying]

So yeah! That’s.. Everything. For the writing thing, I think I’ll technically just be .. here, lol, with a focus on that story with wanderer. Gone are the 7k worded oneshots, now we’re just around 1.5k unless I commit to the creation. The story is so fluffy too [not angst? Surprising]

But again, I will write for others eventually—can’t say when, or how, or who, but I will in time.

I have so many plans in my head about my life, and I’m glad to say going back to Tumblr is a check off the list. I have an original novel in mind, but would you all be interested in such a thing? I don’t honestly know—other than opening commissions, I also plan on a Youtube Channel, but that’s uncertain. A Webtoon for my original plot too is a maybe, buuuut those are just what-ifs. Time will tell!

Those are just my two cents and I don’t regret sharing that—you guys have been with me for so long, even if I don’t really know you all beyond that screen, you all really became a part of my life, too :”))

If you reached the end of this post, wow, I’m touched. I hope you all have a good day–oh wait, what do I say? Ah yes.

I wish you all a good mornight [fhkadjsfhiajhgf].

God bless yall sweet people.

#moonlitrambles #queued #i actually navigated my tags and was gobsmacked.#i thought of a new and more organized blog but i aint got the time for that pls bear with me fhdajskfhas #plus i am so unwilling to leave this behind- i kennat

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ucetheones · 9 months

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Worked Up | Jey Uso x Single Mother!Reader

tw: mentions of an abusive ex, not detailed. My other fics are still in the works, I just can't let go of an idea once I get it. It's a curse.

(Also writing in second person is weird and I feel like I suck at it!! But whatever, enjoy!! <3)

When you and Jey first started talking, you were hesitant to tell him about your son, your pride and joy.

Your son, Joshia, was the driving force in you finally leaving your abusive ex, Tyler.

Finding out you were pregnant was one of the scariest days of your life, you no longer had just yourself to worry about. Now there was a life growing inside of you, meaning you couldn't afford to risk your body dealing with Tyler.

He was too dangerous to outright confront, so you did what you thought was best, and left him a few days after finding out.

That was over three years ago. Thanks to your estranged sister, Samantha, you found a steady job, and a place to stay.

Working with your older sister was strange at first, but you two easily fell into a rhythm like no other. It helped that you were doing your dream job. It might not seem like a huge deal to anyone else, but doing the hair, makeup and wardrobe for WWE Superstars was truly an amazing job. It required skill that most did not have, it made you valuable. Needed.

It was at work where you met Jey. You two hit it off almost instantly, and soon found yourselves flirting. That flirting evolved into talking pretty quickly.

It was Sam that brought up introducing Jey to Joshia, though not without commenting on how similar Jey's real name was to his.

With a roll of your eyes, you sipped your coffee and sighed.

"What if he freaks on me and bails? Work would be so awkward."

Sam squinted at you, lightly scoffing. "You know Jey loves kids, right? I think he'd like Joshia. You're thinkin' way too hard, Jey isn't that deep.

Plus, I love my nephew, but girl…if I have to watch another season of Miraculous Ladybug, I may die!"

You couldn't think of any rebuttal, so you just flicked a piece of your pastry at her. "Shut up, I ain't even ask for your opinion. And that show is good, admit it."

"You did, but whatever!" You can tell she agrees about the show being interesting, but won't give you the satisfaction.

That conversation was almost a month ago, and the entire time you were going back and forth with yourself on how to bring it up to him.

Sam wouldn't be willing to babysit while you went on dates with Jey forever, and hiring a nanny to work longer hours than you currently do felt like a terrible move; so you knew you'd have to tell him sooner or later.

You just didn't anticipate sooner being so soon.

You had a week off from work, as you weren't needed for hair and makeup or costume design, you decided to use some of your remaining vacation days.

Your original plan was to tell Jey about Joshia and hope that the week away from one another would be enough time for him to decide whether things were worth continuing.

You hadn't counted on Joshia getting sick, or Jey showing up at your door on the first day of your vacation.

Your hair was all over the place, your clothes were a mess, and Joshia was perched on your hip, wailing loudly into your ear, despite all attempts at soothing him.

When you answered the door, Jey's expression was visibly confused. You wanted to slam the door.

You wanted to pretend you still had a say in whether you told him about your son, but instead remained frozen in place.

"You babysitting or something?"

Before you could answer, your son was whining. "Mama, hurts…"

The very evident discomfort in his voice had you turning away from the man in your doorway, your hand rubbing up and down Joshia's back in an effort to calm him.

"I know, baby, I know. The medicine will help, we just have to give it time."

His crying dies down considerably at your words, but you can tell he doesn't feel any better and for a moment you consider taking him to the hospital. If for no other reason than to have an excuse to get Jey out if things turned south. Not that you thought they would, but you could never be too safe.

Jey clears his throat softly, and your head whips back to look at him.

"He's cute, Uce. What's his name?"

His tone is softer than it was previously, there's a warm smile on his lips. You can tell he has other questions, but is saving them for the moment.

"His name is Joshia."

At your response, Jey raises a brow.

"Yeah, yeah, I know; your names are similar. Sam won't let me hear the end of it."

It's when Jey laughs that you realize he's still outside, so you step aside and watch as he slips into the house.

It's the first time he's ever gotten to come inside, you usually meet him at the front steps or at whatever hotel you were staying at for work, whilst Joshia was usually with the hired nanny. The nanny, Riah, spent most of the week with him, before dropping Joshia off to your father until you were done for the week.

From there, Sam helped you.

It was never easy, and sometimes you considered quitting, if only to spend more time with your son; but when those doubts came up, Sam would quickly shut them down. The first few times she thought it was financially challenging to pay an overnight babysitter, and had offered repeatedly to help you pay, but you reassured her that wasn't the case. It was just difficult doing this without a partner. You never wanted Sam to think you were ungrateful for her sacrifices, because you were anything but, so it wasn't often you brought up your worries.

Maybe if Tyler was a better man, you could've trusted him to know you were pregnant, and ultimately know his son, but you'd given up on that pipe dream shortly after Joshia was born. He would never be allowed to see him, if you had any say, but you knew one day he'd start asking about his father, and you weren't sure if you could lie to him when the time came.

Right now though, none of that mattered. Because the man you were slowly falling for, was in your home. He was seeing your son for the first time, without any clue he existed to begin with.

Toys littered the floor in some places, there were blankets all over the couch and your coffee table was covered in various sippy cups, from throughout the day.

It should've embarrassed you, but Jey seemed completely unfazed by it all.

He seemed to almost welcome it.

From then on, the bulk of your vacation was spent with Jey, the two of you taking care of Joshia together. It was weird at first, Jey hadn't really interacted with Joshia at all, instead opting to do things like preparing meals, bottles and whatever else needed to be done so that you could focus on Joshia.

On Wednesday, you'd fallen asleep on the couch after putting Joshia to bed, Jey was in the kitchen cleaning up.

At least he had been. But when you woke up from your impromptu nap, he was nowhere to be seen.

You were afraid he left at first, but instead of worrying about it, you went to check on Joshia. He was your number one priority, even when he was starting to feel better.

When you entered your son's room, you quickly stopped in your tracks.

Jey was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner of Joshia's room, cradling the small boy in his arms as the chair swayed softly. When you stepped closer, you saw that they were both asleep, so you grabbed a blanket and draped it over them; deciding you'd wake them up to transition to beds after a quick shower.

Leaning down, you press a kiss to Joshia's head and then Jey's before turning to step out the room. Jey's sleepy rumble pausing your movements.

"You ain't gettin' rid of me now, Y/N. You know that law, he fell asleep on my chest, I'm stuck here forever." When you look over at him, he's smiling at you. You smile back, shaking your head.

"I'm pretty sure that 'law' is about cats, Josh."

Jey playfully glares at you, "nah, it's about cute two year olds that drool on your shirt, too Mamas. It's what life is all about."

You raise your eyebrow, humming. "I'll take your word for it then. And a shower, I'm gonna go take a shower."

You watch as he shifts in the chair, readjusting himself and Joshia so they're more comfortable, before nodding. "I ain't tryna' rush you, but…hurry up. I wanna cuddle, and my back starting to hurt."

You detect the slight whine in his voice, a small chuckle leaving you. "You got it, Chief."

He sucks his teeth, "man, go wash ya' ass." Just to annoy him a little, you stand there unmoving.

He waits a beat before huffing. "Babyyyy, my ass is gonna go numb."

"I'll massage it, don't worry."

He laughs a bit too loud at that, if the way Joshia wiggles in his sleep and huffs is anything to go by. His tiny cheeks filled with air before he settled down again.

"See, even little man is on my side."

You decide not to mention that he'd almost woken Joshia up, instead you raise your hand defensively.

"I'm goin', I'm goin' no need for you two to get all worked up, jeez!"

You playfully flip your hair before scurrying out the room, laughing to yourself at the sound of Jey's distant chuckle of disbelief.

You were worried to tell Jey about Joshia for nothing it seems. They would get along just fine, Jey hadn't run for the hills and had actually stuck around to help you take care of your unwell son. He had no obligation to you, yet he chose to put himself in this position.

He wanted this, he wanted you.

#jey uso #angst #jey uso fanfiction #jey uso x reader #jey uso x you #single mother!reader #your sister is Samantha Irvin btw #wwe #slight angst #Y/N x Jey Uso #jey isn't a father in this #i honestly have a few ideas for this lil universe but idk #i may never write it all #but imagine jey and joshia matching outfits #i honestly imagine joshia as looking a lot like jey but not intentionally #it just happened #i can't unsee it tbh

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moeitsu · 10 days

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The Tie Which Linked My Soul To Thee

Summary: Kate and Arthur share a tender moment in the quiet of the night. Ao3 Wattpad Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.10 Tags: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character, Widowed, Original Character, Mutual Pining, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, High Honor Arthur Morgan, Friends to Lovers, Child Loss, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Arthur Morgan Does Not Have Tuberculosis, Arthur Morgan Deserves Happiness, Chubby Arthur Morgan, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

Ch 9 - A Hundred Months Have Passed

After a few days had passed, the ebb and flow of camp life settled back into its usual rhythm. The air buzzed with the familiar hum of activity—girls diligently tending to chores, men venturing out in search of employment. Micah, having wisely refrained from his lewd remarks, seemed to steer clear of Kate since the encounter with her blade at his throat.

Kate, ever the reliable hand, lent herself where needed: scrubbing alongside Mary-Beth and Tilly, deftly stitching with Abigail, and even lending a hand in Pearson's kitchen to ease Sadie's burdens. The oppressive heat of Lemoyne clung to everyone like a stifling cloak, making afternoons feel interminable. Yet, the proximity of the lake provided a much-needed reprieve, promising a cool respite at the day's end.

Arthur slipped back into the role of the camp's indispensable jack-of-all-trades. Strauss had once again tasked him with money lending duties, a responsibility Kate chose to abstain from this time. Arthur, sensing her unspoken concerns, pledged a new approach—doing things properly this time. His efforts brought a smile to Kate's lips; she recognized his earnest attempts to turn a new leaf, even amidst his continued forays into stagecoach heists and homestead robberies.

This morning, Dutch and Hosea, accompanied by John and Arthur, ventured into Rhodes at the deputy's behest, hopeful for legitimate work. Kate felt a surge of pride knowing they were earnestly striving for honest wages, unaware of Dutch's clandestine designs. Rumors of a longstanding feud between the affluent Gray and Braithwaite families had piqued Dutch's interest, his mind already scheming.

While the boys were occupied, Kate found herself free from chores, engaging in a serene game of dominos with Tilly and Javier. The late afternoon light filtered through the trees, casting dappled shadows across the camp.

“I don’t like being this far south,” Tilly commented, her voice tinged with fear. “I feel like we ain’t safe here. I ain’t safe here.”

“You’ll be alright, Tilly. We’re all looking out for you,” Kate reassured her.

Tilly sighed and shook her head solemnly. “This lot don’t like folk like me, Kate. My mother was a slave until she was 15 years old.”

“We’ll keep you safe, I promise,” Kate urged.

Javier, who had been quietly playing dominoes with them, placed his domino and joined the conversation. “I don’t think these folks like anybody who isn’t white, if I’m being honest,” he said with a dry laugh. “I’ve been called ‘greaser’ by almost every pendejo in this country.”

Kate sighed as she played her domino, earning a few points. “This town is full of a bunch of drunks stuck in the past. They never recovered from the war, and they’d rather hang onto their grievances than move on.”

Tilly placed her last domino, earning no points, and stood up with a grunt of frustration. “Yeah well, I just hope we don’t stay here too long. We’re supposed to be going back west, not south.” She walked away, her steps heavy with frustration.

Now alone with Javier at the small wooden table, Kate leaned back and blew out a breath. The air was hot and heavy, weighing down any motivation to work.

“Is that why you haven’t left camp much?” She inquired, her voice tinged with concern. “Because of the way people are treating you down here?”

Javier shrugged nonchalantly. “Sorta, but it doesn’t really bother me that much.”

Kate’s expression softened. She hadn’t known Javier well, but since the night of the raiders and borrowing his guitar, he had opened up more. She sensed he was a quiet presence, always listening but rarely speaking. She also noticed how much it bothered him when other gang members picked on him, especially Micah and Bill.

She chuckled softly. “Well, you certainly have a lot of patience. I’m amazed you haven’t stabbed Micah yet.”

Javier grinned and met Kate’s gaze. “Oh, I’ve thought about it many times.”

He leaned back, stabbing his knife into the table. “People like Micah don’t scare me. You know, it’s been five years since I left Mexico. Those men chasing me, I still have nightmares about them. Those are scary men.”

Kate listened intently, intrigued by his story.

“If I go back there, I’m as good as dead. They killed my mother, and I mourn her every day. But I never got to bury her. My sister married a man and ran away, and I hope she’s safe, but I’ll never know for sure.”

“Why were those men chasing you?” Kate asked quietly, curious about his past and how he ended up in the gang.

Javier scoffed, memories fueling his frustration. “My crime? My crime was wanting food and fairness—for myself and for my people. That’s why they hunt me. When I came here, I found that it was not so different.”

Kate nodded in understanding. “This land is wild, far beyond being ‘free.’ I know that as much as anybody, and like most, I learned the hard way.”

“Everyone here steals and lies. The only thing they do better here is make you think it’s not that way,” Javier said, his frustration evident. “Mexico could be a land of plenty, but those cabróns in our government won’t even pay us a fair wage.”

He looked at Kate with a sad expression. “I know I’m a thief. But at least I don’t steal the lives and hopes of others.”

Kate spoke before he could leave. “Do you think you’ll ever go back?”

He shook his head sadly, “I’ll be shot on site if I do.” Javier left her with those words.

Kate sat quietly, her eyes roaming over the camp. In the short time she’d been with this group, she had come to know many of their stories, and each one tugged at her heartstrings. There was no joyous reason that a band of misfits like them would ride together, yet the more she learned about each member, the more she understood their pain. They were all seeking a way to escape, all fleeing from something in their pasts. Some were orphaned, like Arthur and John, taken in by Dutch and Hosea. They were provided for, cared for, and yet, Kate couldn't help but doubt the sincerity of that care.

Dutch hadn't spoken to Kate since they arrived at Clemens Point. She wasn’t seeking an apology for Micah’s actions—Dutch wasn’t responsible for that—but his silence troubled her. During her time in the camp, she had observed how Dutch treated Arthur. He was dismissive yet domineering, always assuring Arthur of his position as his right-hand man, yet often prioritizing conversations with Micah. When Arthur approached Dutch for conversation, he always seemed preoccupied, only granting him full attention when there was work to be done and money to be made. Kate sensed a tension between them, a dynamic that left her uneasy.

As she gazed across the camp, Kate couldn’t shake the feeling that Dutch’s intentions for their group's safety and future were not as altruistic as they seemed. She wondered if their pursuits were leading them toward a better life or simply deeper into trouble.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Arthur shook his head, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "You know, I think you have finally lost your mind," he remarked, eyeing Dutch with amused disbelief.

The boys had ridden into Rhodes earlier that afternoon, on a peculiar mission orchestrated by Dutch. The notorious gang leader had struck an unlikely alliance with Sheriff Gray, a key player in the ongoing feud between Rhodes' wealthiest families, the Grays and the Braithwaites. Their task? To reclaim stolen moonshine from the Braithwaites, which had found its way into the hands of Lemoyne raiders.

Dutch, ever the showman, had orchestrated their involvement under the guise of "helping the law." Now, adorned with shiny silver stars that marked them as deputized lawmen, the outlaws-turned-vigilantes cut an absurd figure in the bustling town.

"Amongst these drunkards, hillbillies, and slavers... good honest thieves like us, we’re bound to be moralizers in a place like this!" Dutch declared, arms outstretched as if claiming dominion over the entire town.

As they wrapped up loading the stolen moonshine into the wagon, John and Hosea offered to take the wagon to a secluded spot near camp, assuring the Sheriff that they would take care of "disposing" of the last of the moonshine. The Sheriff nodded knowingly, pocketing a couple of jugs for himself.

Before Dutch and Arthur departed, they couldn't resist indulging in their hard-earned spoils, taking more than a few swigs of the fiery alcohol to celebrate their successful mission before making their way back to camp.

“Hey you know what, why don’t I race you back to camp,” Dutch quipped, saddling his horse in an unsteady manor.

Arthur, equally unsteady on his feet, chuckled and climbed into Belle's saddle. "You're on," he agreed, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Later that evening, Arthur stumbled back into camp, his usually confident steps a bit less steady. The setting sun bathed the campsite in a warm orange glow, adding to the relaxed atmosphere. A faint scent of moonshine lingered on his breath, a testament to the drinks he and Dutch had indulged in before returning.

Kate looked up from where she sat near the fire, a knowing smile tugging at her lips. "Welcome back, Deputy Morgan. Looks like you've found yourself a new career path," she teased, giving a playful flick to the shiny silver star on his chest.

Arthur chuckled, brushing off her comment as he settled beside her by the fire. "Ah, quit it. I ain't cut out for lawman duties."

He turned slightly towards Kate, a warm glow in his eyes fueled by both the alcohol and the comfort of her presence. "How was your day, Kate? You tired of being surrounded by outlaws yet?" he asked, steering the conversation.

Kate smiled warmly, her eyes reflecting genuine contentment. "Honestly, Arthur, I've never been more grateful for the company," she admitted, her voice softening with sincerity. "After so long on my own, it's nice to be part of something, even if it's a band of outlaws."

Arthur nodded slowly, his gaze fixed on the flickering flames of the fire. Despite the daily lively chatter and the camaraderie of the gang, a pang of loneliness tugged at his heart. He had always been surrounded by people, yet somehow, he often felt a deep sense of solitude. The only time he felt seen, felt solace, was when he was with Kate. Her presence made him light up, whether it was a fleeting smile in the morning as they greeted eachother before going about their duties. Or on evenings such as this, when they talked about their day by the fire and simply enjoyed eachothers presence. She calmed the raging storm in his heart, and each day he grew more and more fond of her company.

The warmth of the fire and the alcohol in his belly emboldened him slightly. "Well, if it's all the same to you, Kate, I quite enjoy your company," Arthur admitted, a bashful smile playing on his lips as he shifted closer to her, their shoulders nearly touching.

Kate's eyes sparkled with amusement as she leaned in to meet his gaze. "I'll admit, Arthur, I enjoy your company more than most," she teased, a playful glint in her eyes. "But don't tell the others that," she added with a wink.

Arthur chuckled softly, the sound blending with the crackling of the fire. They settled against the log, warmed by the fire's glow. As the night deepened around them, they shared stories of their day. Arthur recounted their new duties as lawmen and the complexities of the feud between the two families, outlining Dutch's plan to navigate the situation without causing undue trouble.

The sun had long set, casting a cool, gentle darkness over the camp. Most of the gang had retired for the night, leaving only the crackling fire and the symphony of nighttime sounds—crickets chirping and frogs croaking.

Amidst the tranquil atmosphere, the peace was shattered by the distant voices of Abigail and John, their argument drifting from their tent and cutting through the night's quiet. Arthur and Kate exchanged a knowing look, their conversation momentarily interrupted by the reminder of the discord that often simmered beneath the surface of their makeshift family.

Arthur sighed, his expression a mixture of resignation and empathy as Abigail's voice rose in frustration. "Why don't you use that tiny brain of yours? Whatever you think is right and proper, do the exact opposite! Then, you'll raise a man!" Her words were hushed, as if she were trying to contain her anger despite the intensity of her tone.

John's retort came swiftly, equally filled with annoyance. "Just like your mama did? Raise a real man, like you?" His jab was met with a sharp slap from Abigail, the sound echoing through the camp.

Kate winced, noticing Arthur pinch the bridge of his nose in response to the escalating argument. Before she could interject, the soft patter of footsteps approached rapidly. In a flash, Jack emerged from his tent, clad in nothing but a nightgown, and flung himself into Arthur's lap.

Unfazed by the sudden intrusion, Arthur pulled Jack close, his voice gentle and soothing. "Hey kiddo, can't sleep?" he asked, his tone calming.

Jack nodded against his uncle's shoulder. "Mama is mad at Pa again," he murmured, his voice small and weary. Turning his head slightly, he glanced up at Kate. "Hi, Auntie Kate," he greeted quietly.

"Hey, little man," Kate responded warmly, brushing a stray hair from his eyes as his cheek rested against Arthur's shoulder.

As the voices of John and Abigail rose again, Jack buried his face against Arthur. Concern flickered in Arthur's eyes as he glanced at Kate, who suddenly had an idea.

"Why don't we go get Lorena ready for the night? You wanna help, Jack?" Kate suggested, offering a diversion to distract Jack from the tension brewing between his parents.

With a silent nod, Arthur rose from his seat, cradling little Jack in his strong arms. Kate couldn't help but watch the scene unfold before her. His towering figure enveloped the small boy with an unexpected tenderness and care. As Arthur held Jack close, his protective embrace painted a stark contrast to the tough exterior he often projected.

In that moment, Kate glimpsed a side of Arthur that stirred her heart. The way he handled Jack with such gentleness and love sparked a yearning within her. She imagined how Arthur might have been as a father—patient, kind, and devoted.

The campfire's warm glow cast a soft light on them as they moved away from the escalating voices. Arthur's features softened as he whispered reassuring words to Jack, his gaze filled with warmth and understanding.

Kate fell into step beside them, unable to tear her eyes away from the sight of Arthur's caring demeanor. Despite his gruff reputation, she sensed a depth of compassion that drew her in, melting away the rough edges.

As they approached Lorena, her mare nickered in recognition, sensing familiar company. Kate reached out, her hand running over the sleek mane of the horse affectionately. Before she could retrieve her brush from the saddlebag, Jack, nestled in Arthur's arms, spoke up with innocent curiosity.

"Does she like it when you sing her lullabies?" His voice was small and earnest.

Kate's smile softened at the question. "Yes, she does. It helps calm her down and makes her feel safe, knowing I'm right here to sing her to sleep," she replied, her voice warm with affection for the horse.

Jack looked up at her, a hint of sadness in his tone. "Mama used to sing me lullabies, but she says I'm too old for them now."

Arthur chuckled softly, his hand rubbing Jack's back comfortingly. "Well, you ain't a baby anymore, Jack. Yer gettin’ older and bigger," he reassured him.

Kate's gaze lingered on Jack as Arthur cradled him in his arms. It felt like a hundred months had passed since she held her own child, since she last sang a lullaby. A pang of longing swept through her. She understood Abigail's perspective—Jack was nearly five years old—but in that moment, Kate would have given anything to sing to her baby again, no matter the age.

Jack's eyes met hers, his innocence shining through. "Can you sing me a lullaby, Auntie Kate?"

Her heart swelled with warmth as she nodded in response. Jack reached out his small arms towards her, and without hesitation, Kate embraced him.

Arthur glanced at Kate, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He trusted her, but he didn't want to burden her with his nephew's needs. He had already come to terms with taking responsibility for the young child.

"Kate, ya don't have to—" Arthur began.

But Kate interrupted gently, reaching out to take Jack into her arms. "I don't mind at all, Arthur," she said sincerely, her voice warm with compassion.

Kate hadn't held a child since she laid her own in a dark casket with her father. The familiar weight of a child on her hip, his breath against her neck as he nestled his head on her shoulder, brought a mix of comfort and grief. She pushed the painful memories down, focusing on the present moment with Jack in her arms.

Arthur watched with a mixture of admiration and tenderness as Kate held his nephew, her cheek resting against Jack's head. As her eyes closed and she began to sway gently on her feet, rocking him as if he were a newborn, Arthur couldn't help but imagine what she must have been like as a mother—devoted, kind, and filled with love.

Kate started singing softly, her voice carrying a soothing melody into the quiet evening air.

When I was young, younger than before. I never saw the truth hanging from the door,

Now I’m older, see it face to face. Now I’m older, gotta get up, clean the place.

I was green, greener than the hill. Where the flowers grew and the sun shown still.

Now I’m darker than the deepest sea, just hand me down, give me a place to be.

I was strong, strong in the sun, I thought I’d see when the day was done.

Now I’m weaker than the palest blue. Oh, so weak in this need for you.

Arthur studied her features in the soft moonlight, savoring every detail—the graceful movement of her lips as she sang, the way her hair danced in the night breeze. Kate's gentle circles on Jack's back gradually lulled him to sleep, his breathing slowing, arms going limp around her neck. A smile touched Kate's lips, and she continued to hum softly, ensuring Jack remained nestled in slumber.

As Kate swayed, Arthur felt something profound stir within him, a warmth he had never experienced. It was as though her presence kindled a fire in his heart, leading him closer to her warmth. In her company, he felt alive, radiant like the earth basking under the sun, humming with a joyful tune from the lips of a woman. For the first time in years, he began to reflect on all the moments he had missed with his own woman and child.

Kate ceased her humming, her closed eyes and furrowed brow revealing the depth of her emotions. She released a shaky breath before speaking softly to Arthur, her voice laced with vulnerability. "When I held my baby girl for the first time, I saw her future branching out before me. Every possibility filled with something wonderful"

Arthur closed the distance between them, as if to shield her from the memories that still haunted her. Kate nestled her cheek against Jack's head, her voice trembling with unspoken sorrow. "I could have been a good mother," she whispered.

Gently, Arthur brushed his thumb across her cheek, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Kate's eyes fluttered open at his touch, reflecting the moonlight like shimmering pools of emotion. They held unshed tears, a testament to her resilience and the burdens she carried. Despite life's hardships, she fought to maintain her kindness, a quality that only deepened Arthur's admiration.

Moved by the connection between them, Arthur closed the final gap, his lips meeting hers in a silent embrace. The kiss was soft yet filled with unspoken longing, a gentle affirmation of the feelings blossoming between them. The world around them seemed to fade as they shared this intimate moment, each touch and breath carrying the weight of unspoken words and shared emotions.

Kate removed her hand from gently rubbing circles on Jack's back, finding a new warmth against Arthur's cheek. She tilted her face, deepening their kiss as Arthur's arm wound around her waist, drawing her closer. He smelled of moonshine and tobacco, a scent that mingled with the smoky air of the campfire.

As their mouths met, Kate sighed softly, feeling their connection deepen with each tender touch. Arthur's heart raced within his chest, the world around him blurring as if the only anchor to reality was the sensation of her lips against his. Her tongue brushed against his, a silent invitation for more.

Just as the kiss intensified, Jack stirred in his sleep, breaking Arthur from the spell. Reluctantly, he pulled back, his breath slightly labored, a silent turmoil brewing within him.

"Sorry," Arthur murmured, his voice tinged with a mix of desire and uncertainty. "I, um,” he hesitated, “I-I should take Jack back to his ma."

Kate nodded, her eyes reflecting a shared hesitation. "Of course," she replied softly, gently handing the boy back to his uncle.

Arthur carefully settled Jack more securely in his arms. He offered Kate a tender smile, though his eyes betrayed a hint of inner conflict. "G’night, Kate," he said, his voice a mixture of warmth and unease.

"Goodnight, Arthur," she replied, her tone gentle yet tinged with an unspoken question.

With a last lingering glance, Arthur turned and made his way toward Abigail and John's tent, Jack's form cradled protectively against him. As he disappeared into the shadows, Kate stood by her sleepy mare, her heart echoing the silent uncertainty that had clouded the moment.

Later that night, Arthur lay awake on his cot, the memory of their kiss haunting his thoughts. Moonlight filtered through the canvas, casting ghostly shadows around him. The scent of campfire smoke lingered on his clothes, a tangible reminder of the evening's events.

Arthur couldn't shake the yearning that had blossomed between him and Kate, nor the underlying unease that accompanied it. The fleeting intimacy they shared left him grappling with doubts about the future, and more importantly, about himself. He cared deeply for Kate, admired her resilience and kindness, yet the complexities of their lives and the dangers they faced loomed like shadows in his mind.

His own truth ached to be revealed, how he longed to tell her about his own son, but the guilt and shame he carried with the memories clouded all means of opening up. Kate missed her family dearly, that much was painfully obvious to him. He feared if she knew the truth about him, she wouldn’t see him the same. He too had a family once, and his own recklessness cost them their lives. He feared she would not forgive him for being so careless.

Lost in contemplation, Arthur sighed heavily, his thoughts drifting back to Kate's soft lips and the warmth of her touch. He couldn't deny the pull he felt toward her, a desire for connection amidst the chaos of his existence.

In the quiet solitude of his tent, Arthur wrestled with conflicting emotions, uncertain of what lay ahead for them. The night stretched on, filled with unanswered questions and the restless beating of his heart. He reached for his journal, its leather cover worn and familiar, and opened it to a blank page.

With a sketching pencil in hand, he drew an image from memory—the sight of Kate cradling Jack against her cheek. Underneath the tender sketch, he penned his thoughts:

Kate has a way about her that makes a man feel alive. She’s fierce, and she's kind. She’s strong and she’s passionate. She’s utterly beautiful. And she’s too sweet for me.

I kissed her tonight, I don’t really know why. The way she was singin’ and cradlin’ little Jack, it made me think of Eliza and Isaac. For the first time in years, I thought about all the moments I missed because I was off being a fool instead of a father.

I see things still haven't changed. You’ll always be a fool Morgan.

I think I’m falling for Kate. I just hope she can let me down easy. Maybe I’ll just close my eyes on the way down.

Closing his eyes, Arthur tried to still his restless thoughts. He imagined Kate's smile, the curve of her cheek as she cradled Jack, the warmth of her presence against him. The weight of his feelings tugged at him like an anchor, both comforting and disquieting.

With a heavy sigh, Arthur surrendered to the embrace of exhaustion. The world around him faded into darkness, and for a fleeting moment, his turbulent heart found respite in the realm of dreams.

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queen-of-deans-booty · 2 months

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A Big Misunderstanding

Pairing: Lucifer x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.9k

Warnings: relationship angst, giving the silent treatment, fluff at the end

Request by anon: I wanted to ask for spn lucifer x reader…they are married she would have been a hunter in the past, but she left the business with him, "giving up" on being the devil, and they actually like live normal life…once she gives him the silent treatment because he was "mean" to sam and dean (they are like brothers), and he just He does little things to kind of get her off her chest so she can talk to him (even if it's shouting), and when she tries to do or fix the little things he did/ or broken but without talking to him yet he just goes to the guys (the brothers, cass and jack) for help and apologizes just to make it up to her!!! (the boys make fun of him but he accepts defeat because not talking to her is worse than having people irritate him

Summary: Your passion is sewing and you love to make clothes and blankets for people, especially the Winchesters whom you consider to be family. When you overhear a conversation you shouldn't have heard, you get pissed enough at Lucifer to give him the silent treatment. Best thing? He has no idea what he's done but he'll try hard to make it right.

Square Filled: never go to bed on an argument for @as-the-saying-goes-bingo (deleted bingo)

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

Three down only ten more to go. You have a lot of people who want to buy dresses from you so you’re slowly making your way through the list of orders from people. You’re only on the first order but you’ve gotten done three of the thirteen items they wanted. Sewing and making clothes and blankets is your dream. You love making things people can wear or snuggle with, and you’ve always had this passion ever since you could write.

You’d draw your designs and show your mom who was also a seamstress for a clothing store. She entertained your ideas and gave you a small sewing kit that you’d use to make your Barbie’s clothes. She was so impressed that she got you into sewing classes as soon as possible. You started off making small things like gloves, oven mitts, baby clothes, and other easy projects before working your way up to the harder items.

Now, you have your own business that is run by you and only you, and you work out of your home. You don’t have the money to buy a big store or hire employees. Plus, you kind of like doing it all by yourself. At least you can look at someone wearing your clothes and say, “Yes, I made that all on my own.” or “They’re wearing an original Y/N.”. You pour love and pride into every piece you make and it shows.

The door opens and your husband walks in with a look of confusion.

“Have you been here all day?”

You look at him like you were just caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

“I have orders to make.”

“Being in your room all day isn’t going to help you. You need to get out and move around.” You know he’s right, and your ass is hurting from sitting all day. You nod in agreement and get up, setting your project aside for now. “Come on, let’s go on a walk.”

Never did you think you’d ever go on a brisk walk with the actual devil. The neighborhood you live in is very mellow so you go a few laps around it.

“Want to hear what I’m working on?”

“Sure.”

“So, Janice across the street asked for baby clothes for her daughter’s kid, Bruce and David want some slacks for David’s new job next month, and Ruby from the diner wants a blanket. Ooh! What if I make us another blanket?”

“Darling, we have eighty blankets in the house already.”

“And?”

“We have enough,” Lucifer laughs and kisses the top of your head.

Who is he and what has he done with your husband? He is so not the man you met years ago. He was so much harder and meaner than he is now. After Sam killed Lilith and brought the devil out of the cage, he was one of the meanest men you’ve ever met. His behavior and attitude were atrocious.

It didn’t get any better even after Sam let him in so he could trap him in the cage with Adam and Michael. The cage stayed closed for five years until Amara was released because Dean got his Mark removed from his arm by the Book of the Damned. Lucifer convinced Castiel that he could possess him so that he could leave the cage, and he wreaked havoc on the world because of it. After Amara expelled him from Castiel’s body, he disappeared for a while. He decided that he was going to be done with all this shit.

That’s when you came back into his life. He met you again after he had come to terms with living a simple life. Sam and Dean had pissed you off enough that you wanted to be solo for a while, and you and Lucifer formed a relationship. The Winchesters weren't thrilled to hear you had a thing for the devil, but they trusted you enough to know what you were doing.

You had scammed your way into a very nice resort where he was staying and hit it off. Eventually, you got married to him. You’re not a hunter anymore, he’s not the devil anymore, it’s just you and him until death parts you. Lucifer’s changed behavior is all because of you. Before you, he was angry at the world for what his dad did to him but after you, he wanted to live for you and for you only.

Only after you’ve finished with all of your commissions, you start working on some stuff for the Winchesters. Winter is coming up, and the Bunker has a terrible heating system. You figured they could use a few extra jackets, shirts, and blankets.

They gave you a key to the Bunker should you ever need to use it, so you let yourself in carrying the clothes. Sam and Dean are talking to someone in the library so they don’t notice you coming down the metal staircase in the war room. Suddenly, Lucifer’s voice is heard, and you look at the entryway in confusion. Why is he here? What does he want from the brothers?

“I can’t trust you to do anything! You two are brainless, hairless apes who have no idea what the fuck you’re doing!”

“Maybe next time give us better instruction,” Dean argues.

“God, you had one job and you managed to fuck that up. Typical,” he scoffs.

Why is he being so mean to Sam and Dean? You’re hurt he’d say such vile and mean things to the two men you consider family. You leave the clothes on one of the control panels before leaving the Bunker quickly. You don’t let them know you were ever here. If Lucifer wants to resort to who he was before, then he can but you’re not going to stand by him.

Lucifer comes home hours later in a good mood. You’re in the kitchen cooking food for yourself when he enters. He frowns when he sees enough food for one person in the pan.

“Is that food for both of us?” he asks. You don’t answer him and continue to cook in silence. “Y/N?” Still, no answer. “Darling, are you okay?” No answer. “Are you ignoring me? What did I do?” Again, no answer. “Y/N?”

You don’t go to bed that night because you and Lucifer have a thing where you never go to bed on an argument. Instead, you make more clothes. Lucifer didn’t go to bed either mostly because he kept thinking about why you’re ignoring him. What did he do to piss you off? In the morning, he goes to the room where you make your clothes to try and talk to you but finds the door is locked.

“Y/N, open the door.” No answer. He can hear your sewing machine so he knows you’re in there. “Come on, darling, open the door.”

He is at a loss for words because he doesn’t understand what he did to make you like this. He gives you the space you need for the morning, but you need food eventually so you leave the room in search of some. Lucifer is in the kitchen when you get there but you make no move to acknowledge him.

Lucifer is drinking some water and reading a newspaper. He finishes the water before dropping the glass on the ground. The glass shatters and he watches your reaction to it. He doesn’t care if all you’re going to do is yell at him. He just wants you to do something. You pause and look at the glass on the ground before grabbing the broom. You don’t say a word as you clean it up and throw it away.

“I just broke a glass! You should be pissed at me. Yell at me! Something!” Lucifer gasps. Again, you don’t respond to him. “Fuck!” He walks over to you and points his finger in your face but doesn’t actually touch you. He knows you fucking hate this which is why he’s doing it. He’s such a fucking child. “I’m not touching you. You can’t get mad at me because I’m not touching you.”

You stand still and wait for him to be done before moving around him and heading back to your room to sew. Lucifer doesn't know what to do so he visits the Winchesters in search of answers. Castiel and Jack are in the room, too. Great, more people to witness this humiliation.

“Here to berate us some more?” Dean asks.

“I need your help,” he sighs.

“What?”

“I said I need your help.”

Before Sam can answer, Dean cuts in.

“Sorry, let me just take in this moment. You need us. Isn’t that something?”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“No, I definitely will.”

“What do you need?” Sam asks.

“Y/N isn’t talking to me. She’s ignoring me and I have no idea what I did to piss her off. What do I do? I don’t care if she yells at me. I need her to do something.”

“Sorry, can’t help you there, buddy,” Dean shrugs.

“Does she know you’re an ass?” Castiel asks seriously.

“Yeah, let’s make fun of me. Seriously, you’re so funny.” Lucifer mocks laughs in their faces, ready to punch the shit out of them. “What do I do?”

“Have you tried apologizing?” Jack asks.

“I don’t know what I should be apologizing for.”

“It doesn’t matter. All women want to hear is that you’re sorry. Try that. It might get her talking,” Dean sighs.

Lucifer goes home with more questions than answers. Still, he thinks about their words the whole way home. When he gets there, you’re in the living room watching one of your shows. As soon as you know he’s there, you tense and turn the volume up on the TV. He walks around to face you but you don’t look at him.

“Darling, I am so sorry.”

“For what?” you ask and look at him.

Lucifer opens his mouth to answer but nothing comes out. You scoff as you get up from the couch. You go to leave the room but Lucifer is hot on your heels.

“I am sorry, but you can’t expect me to read your mind to figure out why you’re so pissed at me. You have to communicate, darling. What did I do?”

“You berated Sam and Dean and put them down for what? ‘You two are brainless, hairless apes who have no idea what the fuck you’re doing!’ Does that ring a bell? You treat them like shit.”

“I’ve said worse things to them.” You cross your arms angrily. “Look, I am sorry. I have a really bad temper, and I was trying to surprise you with something. I needed their help getting it but they did it wrong. It pissed me off because I wanted it to be perfect for you.”

“What is it?”

Lucifer takes you to one of the unfinished rooms in the house. You never got around to actually finishing it, but Lucifer has been working on it without you knowing. You walk in and gasp at what you see. Machines are lined up on the back wall, rolls and rolls of fabric hang off tubes, mannequins are in the other corner, and everything else you need to have a successful sewing business.

“I wanted it to be perfect and I took it out on them. I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

You rush into the room and admire everything he’s done for you. He’s trying to apologize but you’re too busy being excited.

“Is this all for me?!”

“Yeah, everything,” he smiles. “Do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it!!”

“Am I forgiven?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Not talking to you was killing me.”

Lucifer pulls you into him and kisses you, glad to have overcome this with you.

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

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hb-not-the-pencil · 7 months

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Professor Membrane fanart!

(the image might be blurry because tumblr was never made for art with this level of skill)

anyways, professor membrane is one of my favorite characters and character designs. This iteration of his design is from invader ZiM: enter the florpus.

-- more info below the cut --

I personally like to imagine him as asexual, but i might be biased. I also definetly imagine him owning a mug like this if he could.

(idk i guess this is him during pride month or something)

i personally LOVE this design, and i also really like the character- (he's funny) and the awsome robo arms are just a bonus imo. originally this drawing was just meant to be an exercise for me to warm up before i started drawing a comic (just started) about a ZiM x Portal crossover. (imagine membrane and cave johnson meeting) but i ended up getting to invested in this drawing because of the mug.

was this post made just so i had an exuse to draw prof. membrane with a mug that says "I Scientifically Do Not Give A Fuck"?

yes, yes it was.

(ALSO THIS POST DID NOT WANT TO EXIST, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME I'VE REWRITTEN THIS STUFF LIKE WTF)

#digital art #digital drawing #invader zim #invader zim fanart #fanart #professor membrane #my art #art #lgbtqia+#ace #asexual #i am in too many fandoms #i dont think its healthy #ive tried counting them but i actually cant #i think i reached over 15 at one point

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featheredadora · 10 months

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i love your pride birds, but i will say that it does make me feel a little sad to see the exclusion of the lesbian flag. :(((

Hi! I'm sorry to make you feel excluded! As I mentioned in the post, the plan was to do more (in fact, the original plan was to post two designs a week during pride month) but I am disabled and have been really struggling to make art (or do much of anything tbh!) for several weeks now.

Unfortunately that meant that the lesbian flag, nonbinary flag, pan flag, and aro flag, all didn't manage to get done. In fact, this ask makes me a little sad because the lesbian flag one was actually next on my list, to the point where I had finished the lineart but not the colouring (for what it's worth, it's a tiel with carnations)

I hope this clears things up a bit - I wasn't actively excluding a flag, it's just been a rough few weeks disability-wise. I hope you had a good pride month, and I hope you feel seen by other lesbian representation! (I also have some other lesbian pride art from previous years!)

#asks #anon #lgbtq #pride month #I know anon didn't mean this in an unkind way at all #but this ask did make me a bit sad #Last night I was looking at the lesbian pride bird lineart which at this point was already weeks late #And I really did want to colour it but my body just isn't coping very well at the moment and yesterday was a very tough day #Pride month is always my favourite time to make art and it has been really hard this year to not be able to do that in the way I wanted to #But anyway I am rambling!#Thank you all for the support and kindness! Being disabled can suck sometimes but I appreciate everyone's patience so much!

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meimi-haneoka · 11 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 74: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Here we are, welcome back everyone!! End of the month, time for another chapter leading us into this exciting finale for Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!! I want to start this post with a little foreword before diving into the chapter itself and the eventual translation differences ✨ I just wanted to say that I write this post with a sense of pride but also with even more sense of responsability compared to the previous months. You've probably stumbled upon my recent report of the latest CLAMP Space, where the authors have talked about CCS Clear Card, and their support/blessing to "people addressing the translation differences in their monthly posts on their blog, because they felt uncomfortable about them". Although they never straight up gave names, I certainly feel like they were talking about blogs like mine. And so I'm humbled (and even a little nervous) to be able to keep doing this, since I've wondered multiple times if it was even proper for me to write these posts every month, as if I was leading a crusade against the official English translation. In fact, I'm not. And I hope that's clear enough. When the ENG translation respects the vibe and original intention coming out from sensei's words in the manga panels, like this time around, I always make sure to say positive things about it. But try to understand me, the irritation runs deep because these are years of translation differences accumulating and at times even changing the perception of the story. And then, you stumble upon English speaking fans on the internet who got the gist of the story wrong or disrespecting/failing to appreciate it because of such translation mistakes (we go from Sakura calling Syaoran "Li-kun" in one of the earliest volumes, to Kaito saying that he wanted to give magic to Akiho, wtf??). And I think it's such a pity. It's not fair. The fandom deserves to know what the script is trying to say with a meaning as closer as possible to the original one. I hope I'll be able to help in that regard, for what's in my possibility and with my limited skills, till Clear Card will be over. ✨

OKAY, now let's cut the chatter and see what happened in this chapter!! I'm happy to say that this time around, translation-wise, we don't have anything impairing the correct understanding of the plot, just nuances! As usual, before starting, we can't skip the gif of the month!!

The Color Page

Oh my gosh! Sakura! You look amazing here!!! Such a fierce stare!! She looks just like a powerful and respected magician and OMG THEY GAVE HER A BLACK OUTFIT!! JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN ASKING EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING! I don't know, maybe the veteran followers of this blog can remember, but I've always wished to see Sakura in a black costume/dress in Clear Card 😊 She looks stunning...and what's more, she's once again with the gears and clocks decorations, just like in the period of the Clockland play. But, heheh, this time the clock looks different. The big clocks that were featured during the Clockland chapters (with Sakura + Syaoran, Akiho and lastly Kaito) were often "strange". They all had the same design, the one with SyaoSaku was "regular", but the ones next to Akiho and Kaito had their numbers either in messed up order, or straight up wrong (what kind of clock got '0' as the only number?). I had already assumed by then that they had a significance we had to decode along the development of the finale. This one in this color page, however, really looks like the most classical clock with roman numerals. The order of the numbers and their position seems correct. So could this be a sign that Sakura is about to restore order into this mess that Kaito's desperate wish created? The text on the JP version is the classic incantation to release the Dream staff from the key (we haven't heard it in a looooong time because she manifests her staff immediately, by now!) I also want to point out that we *still* don't have any announcement of "Clear Card ending in next chapter" or "Clear Card ends in 2 chapters!" like it's custom in these serializations, so I can say with confidence that Sakura won't surely be over in chapter 75 (at the beginning of July) but probably not even in chapter 76 (at the beginning of August). Are they aiming at chapter 77 (beginning of September)? Double 7, it's a lucky number for CLAMP ✨ For those worried about "3 chapters aren't enough to finish this!!", please consider that it's not so much about the number of chapters, but the amount of pages. This chapter for example is already longer than usual, 35 pages. That's what really matters, and we could get even an epilogue or some additional pages in the volume version! And now onto to the actual chapter!

An Important Discussion

Yukito, Nakuru and Touya are leisurely spending time at Yukito's home, with a funny scene of Yukito feeding some mikan to Nakuru (and she seems delighted by the cozyness of Japanese kotatsu!). Suddenly, Touya announces that Sakura is coming over. Yukito worries about how it's getting dark and that maybe it'd be better to go pick her up along the way, but a grumpy Touya says there's no need for that: along with Sakura are also coming Syaoran, Akiho and even Tomoyo. Yukito and Nakuru can't help but being surprised, and Nakuru wonders "The all-stars are coming? What's going on?" 😂 I found so hilarious the use of the term "all-stars", which in Japanese usually indicates a whole cast of a performance composed of famous actors, and sometimes it's applied to sports team too. But the room temperature drops immediately when Yukito looks at Touya, with a very pensive face, and it's immediately clear that something serious happened and Sakura is coming to discuss that. Touya might not know exactly what, but as we can see, he's already got a feeling.

Sakura and the kids arrive, apologizing for coming so suddenly, and they sit down, all with very serious faces (save for Tomoyo. Tomoyo never loses her calm composure 😆). Sakura starts dropping the bomb immediately: "I want to talk to you about something very weird" and "I want everyone who knows about the Cards and magic to hear this". Sakura is dead serious, and she informs Syaoran (sitting at her left side) that she's just told everything to Akiho shortly ago. She also tells Kero and Suppy to come out of her purse, for the second time (since the first was halted by the rewriting of the forbidden magic) putting an end to the farce of Kero constantly needing to act like a plushie in front of Touya!! Remember when the fandom used to point out that it was weird that Kero kept hiding from Touya, despite saying himself at the end of the Sakura Card Arc (after Touya gave his powers to Yue/Yukito) that he was perfectly aware that Touya knew everything about them? That really felt like a "plot hole" (maybe at this point the only REAL plot hole) for the longest time, and I am honest when I say that I had already given up hoping to see an explanation for it, wanting to treat it like a "glitch" in the narrative and using suspension of disbelief to overcome it! Well well well, CLAMP surprised me again! Cause in this chapter they actually tried to give an explanation to that "discrepancy"! And of course, being this about Kero, the explanation is rather silly (confession - I didn't understand Kero's reasoning very well, but I'll give my interpretation of what he said): Kero saw that even after that event, Touya didn't try to interact with him and thought that maybe he didn't consider him a cute and gorgeous magical creature, but rather something else....(was he butt-hurt?) Suppy of course is spitting fire cause why the heck did we need to keep pretending to be plushies?? and Kero's reply is "Because I thought it'd be fun pretending to be plushies together when you came over!". Now, if you remember how difficult and taxing it was for Suppy to force himself to stay still, you can understand why he's so mad! 😂 Touya says, quite annoyed, that he simply didn't try to interact with him because he thought that Kero was getting a kick out of acting like a plushie! I feel like sensei have quite reached and almost broke the 4th wall with this scene, because Sakura here says something that I'm pretty sure many of us have thought in regard to this "discrepancy": "I did wonder at some point why you kept that up despite I was telling you multiple times that I had the feeling my brother was onto you". And it's true, we've seen that in volume 4! Well, to me it felt like a stretch, but eventually we got an explanation for that situation so I guess it's better to leave it behind us! 😂

Cause we have more important matters at hand. Sakura places her phone on the table, showing Eriol & Kaho in videocall!! NOW all the "stars" of this show are present! 😂 So Sakura starts her recount of the most recent events, saying "It's really weird...but I swear it happened". After everyone listened to Sakura, of course they're all surprised. Nakuru wonders if there's any magician who can really have the power to "rewrite" a world...Eriol says that as far as he's heard, there isn't any magician among the living ones who has that degree of power. However, if said magician had access to a "medium" able to use the "forbidden magic", then it's another story. And that's the Book Sakura told them about. Sakura confirms that the one who told her all of this is the Guardian of the book herself. And then, to Akiho: "The plushie shaped like a bunny that you cherished so much was the temporary form of that Guardian. You named her 'Momo' ". Here I have to point out that the way the ENG translated it infers that Akiho remembers about Momo ("You know that stuffed bunny you loved so much?"), but actually in the JP version it's mostly Sakura informing Akiho that she used to cherish a bunny-shaped plushie, cause Akiho has no recollection of it. In fact, right after, she answers "But that's the title of a book I really love so much!". THERE IT IS! I've mentioned this many times in my social media accounts, and even lately in my "literary references" post here on Tumblr, but it turns out this simple answer by Akiho kinda confirms that she might really have named Momo after that book. And it's not only a beloved book because of its story, but also the one she was reading when she met Kaito for the first time. I've always thought that having her most beloved plushie named that way, and having precisely that book when they met for the first time couldn't have been unrelated. So I'm really happy for this scene here and I hope it'll get eventually confirmed better later.

Sakura takes Akiho's hands (she'll do that a lot this chapter and I simply love it) and reassures her about something that I was SURE she was going to say:

JP: "The fact that we became twins is an effect of the rewritten (world), but the fact that you are an important person to me didn't change at all, Akiho-chan"

I've preferred putting the JP version here because once again we have the usual stuff that I complain about lately: Sakura in JP used 大切なひと (important person) to describe her relationship with Akiho, and this is absolutely coherent with all the previous times. In ENG they used "you're special to me", but the adjective "special" in Japanese (特別な) in relation to a person has been consistently used in the latest chapters to describe the person Sakura is in love with (and not only Sakura). So they shouldn't have used that adjective in particular. They should stick to the literal translation. Especially cause that "special person" will come up in a few pages. I know I sound pedantic with this separation between "important person" and "special person", but I mean, CLAMP sensei are consistently keeping that distinction so I'm convinced the translation should do its best to keep it, because it's a guide to lead the readers among the relationships of CCS. Which sometimes can be quite complex.

Touya teases Sakura again with the sis-con joke, and Yukito teases him back by saying "Are you talking about yourself now?" (I love how Yukito always teases the big and grumpy Touya 😂they're really made for eachother). Tomoyo comments that it's been "a sight for sore eyes" (the term used in JP is 眼福, ganpu, and it's used when you see something precious) to see Sakura in the role of the big sister and Akiho in the one of the little sister. Akiho is moved by the fact that, despite everyone knowing the truth now, nobody shunned her or rejected her presence, and exactly like I imagined, I'm 100% sure Sakura will keep thinking about her as a sister (not a blood-related sister maybe, but surely with the same importance of one) even after everything will be solved later. Cause the bond between her and Akiho was never a fabricated thing, but always been genuine from day 1. Even if they got close in such a short period of time, it's just what happens normally in real life too. Sometimes you bond very tightly with people over a short period of time, cause you feel you're so compatible.

So Sakura continues. She says that for this reason, she wants to bring (someone) back. She's convinced that what the Record Card showed to her is not everything. She feels like there is someone who is missing from both what the Record Card had shown to her and from this rewritten world as well. Syaoran is confused, "they're missing, and yet you're sure they're there?". Sakura understands that confusion and says "It's weird, right? I can't really explain how I know it, but I just do." And then, towards Akiho: "That person....is your special person, Akiho-chan". There it is, the infamous "special person" again. It's clear what Sakura is meaning here. "This is the person you're in love with, Akiho-chan". Of course Akiho's face cannot be any other than a dismayed one at hearing that. And then the pain comes, all at once, piercing her heart and leaving her speechless. Sakura says that the Record Card wasn't showing anyone with Akiho in one of the scenes, and yet she saw her extremely happy. That was enough for Sakura to know that someone was indeed there with Akiho.

I'm Always Searching For Someone

We're shown one of the most important scenes for anyone liking Akiho and Kaito (and their bond), the night that Akiho was so brave to confess her feelings to him through a covert (and very local) way, claiming that "the moon is really beautiful". And in the same occasion he accepted to spend some time strolling and talking to her. It was clear from the moment that scene happened that it would've become important later. And the readers who know what happened and what we lost are feeling probably the same pain Akiho is feeling right now, only that she's unaware of what is causing it. Akiho says "I'm really happy to live with you, Sakura, and everyone in the Kinomoto household, but...I've been in pain. Because I'm always looking for someone who's not there...". So Akiho did feel the effects of that void. The void that only your most important person can leave when they're gone. It's just that, we've seen her being so happy with her "new" family, and yet exactly like most of the fandom imagined, that didn't really work to fill the void Kaito left. It's impossible to fill that void because that person is just irreplaceable. This scene of course stabbed my heart but I had imagined that we would've seen it sooner or later. Sakura gets more confident with the confession of what Akiho's been feeling, and tells her that she thinks the one she didn't want to lose and the one who rewrote their world are the same person. "So I'm going to bring them back". Sakura announces with a smile, but Kero just wonders in dismay how she's going to do that. Sakura believes that the pocket watch in Akiho's possession will show her how. As if on cue, Akiho takes it out of her purse and places it on the table in front of Sakura's phone, where Eriol and Kaho can see it. They recognize it's a magical artifact specialized in time magic, but they also recognize that in order for a magician to be able to use it, they would need to have a tremendous amount of magical powers. Akiho suddenly panics. It dawns on her. I think the mental connection she's made is "if Sakura wants to use this to bring my special person back, she would need to achieve an amount of magical powers that could put her in harm's way". Aside, of course, from all the other dangers that a "mission" like that could pose to our heroine. And of course she'd never be okay with that. But Sakura reassures her. "You aren't making me. I want to." Sakura explains that both when she was dealing with the Clow Cards (and we see a scene of the Final Judgement, the one where Kaho gives her the Moon Bell) and when she was transforming them into her own Cards (they show us a scene from the last battle with Eriol), she was able to overcome her troubles thanks to all of the people who loved her and cared about her.

Sakura, JP: "Therefore I want to do what I can for my important person, too"

Again the use of 大切なひと (important person) in relation to Akiho. I think this panel in particular is pretty important (and the big font indeed suggests so). I feel like it's the core, the heart of Clear Card Arc. Sakura, whom until now was accustomed to be cherished and pampered in a protected environment by her loved ones, is starting to take the first steps towards self-assertiveness and maturity. Sometimes those loved ones would overdo it with the loving, and ended up depriving her of her own agency. Sakura is finding herself, she's starting to trust her instincts and capabilities more and more, and that leads inevitably to a question: "what do I want to do with these gifts life gave me and blessed me with? What can I do to give back to the Universe all this love I'm receiving?" Searching for her self-identity will inevitably make her step out of her comfort zone. She'll take risks. Even on herself. She'll need to assess situations, make decisions. And here she decided that she wants to use her natural gift (her magical powers) to help someone in need. Someone important to her. Someone dear who lost someone irreplaceable and lacks the means to bring him back. Sakura decides to step in, help her "sister", doing exactly what she herself told her during last chapter: if I happen to be good at something that you can't do, I'll help you out. That's the beauty of being all unique and different.

I've seen people often wondering what's the purpose of Clear Card Arc, if we really needed to this arc and such. Well, to me the answer was made manifest in this chapter. 🙂

But back to our story, Tomoyo understands that moment has finally come, so she says that maybe she can't use magic, but she felt it was best to bring along with her a certain big bag (that we all know what contains, right??). She also says that she had the feeling she had made an asymmetrical costume before, but when she went to check, she realized she hadn't made it yet...

Listen to me well, because this is the solution to the mystery of the cryptical thing Ohkawa sensei said in relation to one of Sakura's costumes, during the latest CLAMP Space! Basically, she hinted that there was a reason why we hadn't seen Sakura wearing officially (for a Card battle) this costume yet, and that we would find out why soon. I know the ENG translation here talks about "complementary outfits" (referring probably to how Tomoyo will later reveal complementary outfits for both Sakura and Syaoran), but that only shows that they misunderstood the word アシンメトリー (lit. Asymmetry). Tomoyo here was literally talking about asymmetry because the "costume she thought she had made, but didn't find in the end" was precisely the one Ohkawa was hinting at during the latest Space, the one Sakura was trying on in chapter 36 and 37! Tomoyo had a sense of deja vu, about having made an asymmetrical outfit before, but actually couldn't find it because...well, the forbidden magic had removed any reference to the Clear Cards! (including, apparently, the costumes!) So that goes to show that Tomoyo, despite not having a crumble of magic, was also subjected to the deja vu and weird feelings of "discrepancy" that such rewriting of the world would cause. But hold on tight, cause another reference is on the way!

Tomoyo continues saying that while she was sewing the sleeve of the outfit, she had the strong feeling that this costume would turn into a very special one. And what do we have here? OH YES, it's THAT sleeve, the one we've been waiting for so eagerly! The one that Sakura saw in a dream with MCF once! Sakura back then asked to MCF if they would meet outside the dream when she'd be wearing that outfit, and MCF only cryptically said that it would be "the beginning of the end". Considering now we know that MCF has been mostly a byproduct of Lilie trying to communicate with Sakura and inadvertently messing things up, I do wonder about that MCF. Was Sakura, by any chance, actually was supposed to see Kaito and she saw the robe instead, because of Lilie? Or is that an actual member of Akiho's clan? Only this finale can tell us the truth. Sakura will certainly meet someone, with that costume.

Sakura thanks Tomoyo, always so ready to show her support, and she does something very sweet, as a result of regaining all of her rewritten memories: she tells Tomoyo that she'll do her best to come back without getting the costume dirty, but if it eventually starts fraying, she knows that Tomoyo will be there to repair it.....yeah....doesn't it remind you of something?? Of course I bet any Tomoyo fan knows very well what scene Sakura is referencing with this line....

When Sakura told Tomoyo she repaired her torn costume with the Repair Card in chapter 40, Tomoyo expressed the wish to be her the one repairing those costumes, with her own hands. Because she had created them specifically for Sakura, so she would also want to be the one to repair them in case they'd get damaged. Basically telling her "I made these with all my love for you, and I'd prefer that a Card didn't take my place even when needing to repair them. I want the costumes that you wear to be made completely by my own hands". Always reminding us that making something with your own hands for your loved one is the greatest proof of love for any character in CCS (which is something I find truly wholesome and beautiful). Sakura here shows to have understood and accepted that wish fully, therefore acknowledging Tomoyo and her feelings. Tomoyo is uncharacteristically surprised for a second, and then with the happiest smile she confirms that of course she'll be there to repair it!

Sakura looks at her brother Touya, who only grumpily tells her to respect the curfew. Sakura is confused because they never had a curfew time at home, but her brother replies "Come back before dad gets worried. That's our curfew". (in ENG there's an additional part here, I guess to fill in a bubble that would be left empty) Sakura confidently replies "Got it".

Nakuru is all giddy, excitedly announcing that they decided to go to war and they need to decide the formation!! Suppy mocks her, telling her she's talking as if she were playing one of her warring states games (in JP the term used here is 戦国ゲーム - sengoku game - and I've found there's a specific game called indeed Sengoku, but it seems the same term extended to indicate all the war games set in the Sengoku era), but that doesn't deter Nakuru, who says that if she gets chosen, she will certainly participate actively (here the ENG uses game language from what I can see - not an expert - but good job!)!!

Sakura's plan is different, though. She says that tonight she'll be going only with Syaoran. She knows that if everyone could go with her, she'd feel more confident and reassured, but...

Sakura, JP: "If I want to find Akiho-chan's most important person, I have the feeling that it'd be better for me to go with my most important person"

Here we go. We temporarily leave aside the "special person" terminology to go back to the more famous and loved "my most important person" term, to indicate THE ONE person someone loves the most. 一番大切なひと (ichiban taisetsuna hito). The term we all learned because it's been so crucial to indicate the person someone was in love with during the old arcs of the story. The term Sakura eventually used for Syaoran at the end of CCS volume 12 to finally give a "definition" to the love she felt for him. Now she uses it to define Akiho's feelings for Kaito. This is "the" term that takes precedence over all the other terminology used, and also goes to show how important and solemn the moment is. Sakura's intuition tells her that in order to find Kaito, Akiho's most important person, she should go with Syaoran, her own most important person. This is probably because her magical intuition (let's remember that Sakura got the power to see the future) grasped that her bond with Syaoran will be absolutely pivotal in order to have a positive outcome for the mission they're about to embark on. They will probably have to put that bond at work....maybe to explain, show, help someone understanding something that he still doesn't seem to grasp perfectly? Or rather, a stubborn refusal to understand it, which caused them all to be in this situation they're in right now? What's for sure is that if Sakura and Syaoran manage to find Kaito, and if they'll also manage to free him from the Seal of D. + the artifact with all the magical books that Akiho had engraved in herself, their job won't certainly be over like that. Kaito needs to talk to someone. He needs to understand many, many things. Some of those things, Sakura and Syaoran can at least try to introduce them to him. Because while it's true that Sakura wants to bring him back for Akiho, she also needs to make sure that coming back is also Kaito's wish. Because they can't force him if he isn't 100% convinced himself. I'm sure this is a very important thematic for CLAMP, respecting someone's self-determination. And since his state of mind, last time we saw him, was that he was perfectly expendable and that he was absolutely not necessary in Akiho's life, they need to change that perception. And there's also the fact that, despite being so different, Kaito and Syaoran are pretty similar in several aspects too. So maybe the role Syaoran can have in "communicating" with Kaito could be very important and impactful. Maybe that's what Sakura's intuition was trying to tell her.

Here, the ENG translation decided to translate that "most important person" with "favorite person". I have definitely turned up my nose at seeing that (why not leaving the iconic term?) but in the end I decided to relax because, at the end of the day, the result is similar. It indicates a person for whom your preference and importance is above everyone else. What really *mattered* in this scene - and lo and behold, it seems ONLY the English and Portuguese versions got it right (let me know about the Chinese one, cause I can't read that one) - is that Sakura used the same term to describe what Akiho feels for Kaito, and what SHE feels for Syaoran. "I am aware that this missing person is for Akiho an existence of the same importance Syaoran-kun has for me. Therefore, I will do everything in my power to bring them back, because I fully understand that kind of bond and I understand the void they leave in your life when they're not there" She knows, to some degree, what it feels like to miss your most beloved person, due to the period she had to spend apart from Syaoran. And they could still have phone calls and writing letters. Akiho's situation can only be worse. Sakura's understanding of that bond is also what causes her intuition to suggest her to go only with Syaoran. It's all connected. So it's of utmost importance that the translations use the same term when both talking about Akiho and Sakura. Then, about this scene, we could also say that it was a beautiful demonstration of how much Sakura (but also Syaoran) has grown up, now fully confident to declare in front of everyone that Syaoran is THE most important person in her life. Without blushing and without any drama. It's just a fact. After all they've been through, I think Sakura can feel confident enough in her relatinship with Syaoran, and there's no shame nor embarrassment in stating that aloud.

The people present here can only accept and show their support, and Eriol encourages Sakura to follow her intuition (remember the whole discussion about listening to the stirring of your heart, the so-called intuition? Yeah, a great lesson from Mama Yelan which will also be applied to another character soon). Sakura tells Kero that if she needs him, she will certainly call, and the guardian beast reassures her that he'll certainly hear his master's voice, same for Yue.

Then, lastly, Sakura takes Akiho's hands and holds them tightly. They share another sweet forehead touch (seriously, I love them so much ❤️). Akiho is worried, so worried, but also very resolute. She wants this as much as Sakura does. Sakura tells her that there'll surely be a moment when she'll request Akiho to do something only she can do, and asks her to please wait here with everyone till that time comes.

I'll admit it, I was really disappointed when I've read this scene the first time around. Not only because I had imagined all kinds of scenes in my head (included Akiho wearing one of Tomoyo's costumes) and they shattered that possibility (but oh well, I am prepared to that), but also because I feel like this isn't a good choice from a character development POV. I understand it, I really understand it, this is Sakura's story. She's the one who gets to shine in the finale. And we've talked about it before, there's no doubt that Sakura in this story goes through a journey to find her identity and what she wants to do. So now it's time to let her do that. But Akiho has been slandered for the whole manga, accused of all kind of things because of prejudice, and one of those was "she's weak and passive, she does nothing". Seeing her "on the sidelines" once again, when we're talking about rescuing her most important person, feels extremely off. Letting someone else do "the job for her" doesn't even feel like Akiho.

Then, as hours passed by, I thought...

Maybe Sakura wants to take care of the first part of the mission, because it'll certainly be the one where it's most likely to encounter some magical danger (dragon-chan???). And Akiho wouldn't be able to defend herself from that, devoid of magical powers as she is. She could potentially end up risking her own life. And then all of this would've been for nothing. And then I thought, wait, maybe Akiho knows that. She knows it very well, since she's a girl with a pretty good understanding of herself and her own limits. And this is certainly a limit she does have. So what she can do is to wait safely at home, as hard and painful as it can be, for the REAL, big moment when her presence will be absolutely necessary. Sakura said it with great confidence so it's 100% sure it will come. Therefore, as an Akiho fan, I will swallow this pill and wait together with her. 🫤

But the chapter isn't over yet, as Touya and Yukito go outside in the garden while Sakura and Syaoran get dressed for their departure! Yukito teases once again Touya, telling him that his face is scary and that Sakura's earlier statement ("most important person") must have caused him "damage" (still seemingly talking in game language). Touya of course doesn't reply, so Yukito continues, giving finally confirmation to the suspicion I've been having ever since this "rewritten world" started: Touya did notice something was off. He didn't know precisely what, but he knew it had something to do with Sakura. Yukito also gives us the opportunity to see just how kind and generous Touya is: he purposely didn't go back home often because he wanted to reduce his presence around Akiho as much as possible. Not because of negative feelings, quite the contrary: he was worried she'd get even more hurt if she established a bond with him, only to end up finding out that they weren't really brother and sister. (Meanwhile, we see a very cute panel of Akiho talking to Kero, Suppy and still in videocall with Eriol and Kaho!) And then, to follow the leit-motiv of this chapter, very centered on calling back stuff that had already happened in the original world, Touya says that he won't allow anyone to hurt his close ones (they used "family" in ENG, but the word 身内 can indicate also friends and such, the common characteristic is that they're very close). Got the feeling you've already heard these words, especially with the use of the word 身内 ? Yes, of course, it's vaguely the same threat he made to Kaito back in chapter 54, during the double date! 😂 Hmmmm, I have the feeling that if they manage to bring Kaito back (of course they will!), someone will want to have a word or two with him....let's hope he'll just stick to words! 😂 Jokes aside, it's very heartwarming to see how even Touya warmed up to Akiho, and took her under his protective big brother's wing! In fact, Yukito can't just miss the new opportunity to tease him (stop flirting so shamelessly in front of us, Yuki! 😂), telling him he's so overprotective for his sisters!!

The two lovebirds have finished changing their clothes, and we're all left staring at them agape, together with Nakuru: they look stunning, in their complementary outfits!! Sakura even got heels ❤️ And yes, dear readers, as already hinted when Tomoyo was speaking, this is IT, THE costume with THAT sleeve that appeared in Sakura's dream! It is the biggest indication that it's finally time for the last confrontation. Both Sakura and Syaoran look so resolute and ready to make a mess of space and time to bring Kaito back!! 😂 As many have noticed, Sakura got her Dream Staff with her, despite the Clear Cards have disappeared: my theory is that the Key was never removed by the forbidden magic, only the Cards, or maybe that the key came out now that Sakura got her memories back.

And this is where the chapter ends, with another huge cliffhanger!! Will we see Kaito, next time? Being a chapter number ending in -5, and being in the very last volume, I expect big things from it! Chapter 75 will be published on CLAMP's Youtube channel on July 1st, while the relative Nakayoshi magazine will be released on July 3rd (by the way, we'll have Sakura ONCE AGAIN on the cover and ANOTHER Sakura furoku!!). As usual, when I have less translation mistakes to talk about and more space for my feelings towards the chapter, I go overboard! Another freaking long post 😂😂 So I'll just leave you here, as usual I'll wait for your asks in my inbox! Bye Bye!!

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #translation differences #chapter 74 #Sakura Kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #Syaoran Li

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 11 months

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youtube

Andrew Doyle asks: Remember when the pride flag made sense?

Remember when the pride flag made sense?

It was designed by an American Artist called Gilbert Baker in 1978. It was originally an eight-stripe rainbow but was soon refined into the six-striped version that was the norm for many decades.

At a time when gay people couldn't hold hands with their partners on the street, this flag served a useful purpose. It meant that you could easily find gay pubs or other places where no one had to pretend to be something they weren't. The rainbow symbol was a simple and effective concept that conveyed positivity and unity.

And then some activists came along and said hang on a minute, why are there no black or brown stripes in the rainbow flag? See, for some reason they were under the impression that the gay flag was a literal representation of the range of skin colors that are acceptable in the community. And so we got this.

Okay then, I mean, well, there weren't any white stripes in the original one either. But most people understood that it was symbolic with that we were all included already, irrespective of our race.

But then after this, trans activists came along and said, why aren't we in there? So we got this one. And this was the chevron with the pink white and blue, which was based on the trans flag.

But surely this eyesore couldn't get any worse, could it? Well, it could, because activists were then concerned that it was excluding intersex people, so they added this symbol.

Okay, it's getting a bit out of control now. But then last year, some bright spark added a red umbrella to represent sex workers.

Now, if you thought this was getting out of hand, last year then we had Microsoft. They designed a new version to incorporate all the other multiple sexualities and genders that have been invented over the past few years. Let's have a look at that.

I mean, what the hell is it? It looks like a space ship going at warp speed through a Care Bear's bum hole.

Identity politics in its current form is an ever expanding beast. Pride used to be just one day. Then it was a month. And now Pride events have been scheduled all the way from March through to September. As one sign in a shoe shop pointed out Pride never stops. If only it would.

The initialism as well that's expanded too. First we had LGB, and then it became LGBT, then LGBTQ, then LGBTQIA. The Canadian government currently favors 2SLGBTQIA+, although even its prime minister finds that a bit of a mouthful.

Similarly, Pride started out as an important protest against injustice. When the original Pride March took place in London in 1972, homosexuality had only been legal for five years, and the prospect of gay marriage or even an equal age of consent, seemed impossible. Only 2000 people turned up to these protests.

But by contrast, the Pride parade in London in 2022 attracted over a million. And of course, most of those people aren't even gay. It's become a family day out, a huge party.

And what's so wrong with that, you might ask. And that's a fair question. If people are celebrating and having a good time, that's great. Except that's not necessarily what's going. Increasingly, gay people no longer feel welcome at Pride. I spoke to a representative from a lesbian group on this show last year who had been moved along by police when trying to protest at Pride. But isn't Pride meant to be a protest, not a party? What's going on?

The answer is that pride has been hijacked not once but twice.

First by avaricious multi-billion dollar corporations who are able to pose as virtuous by posting the pride flag. Only, they don't do it in the branches in countries where homosexuality is still illegal. After all, you wouldn't want to fly the flag anywhere which might actually make a difference.

I'm old enough to remember that corporations were certainly not celebrating Pride quite so openly before section 28 was repealed in 2003, or before the age of consent was equalized in 2001, or before the decriminalization of homosexuality in Scotland in 1980. So, these corporations' commitment to LGBT rights apparently only manifests itself when it's likely to make them a profit.

And then there's the second hijacking. See, whereas the original Pride was about agitating for equal rights for gay people, it's now been taken over by activists who are obsessed with group identity and who believe that gender is more important than sex.

That's why the British library, to celebrate the advent of pride month this week, posted a thread on Twitter about the sex life of fish, and how some species have been known to change from male to female.

I mean, what's that got to do with Pride? Why have Librarians seemingly forgotten that human beings aren't the same as fish? Now, they've since deleted those tweets, because well, you know they're bonkers. And although we might laugh at that kind of nonsense, the ideology it promotes is actually rather sinister, particularly for gay people.

See, in her book, "Time to Think" by Hannah Barnes, she found that between 80 and 90% of adolescents referred to the Tavistock pediatric gender clinic were same-sex attracted. Studies have long confirmed a correlation between gender non-conformity in youth, and homosexuality in later life. At the Tavistock, staff used to joke that "soon there would be no gay people left." Somehow the medicalization and sterilization of gay people has been reframed as progressive.

Even Stonewall, the UK's foremost LGBT charity has redefined the word "homosexual" on its website and promotional materials to mean "same gender attracted." Its CEO, Nancy Kelly, has claimed that women who exclude trans people from their dating pool are akin to sexual racists. There's been an intense resurgence of old homophobic tropes online from gender ideologues that believe that "genital preferences are transphobic" and that lesbians who don't include men in their dating pool must be suffering from trauma.

Gay rights were secured by recognizing that a minority of people are instinctively attracted to members of their own sex. And the new ideology of gender identity rejects this notion entirely, and actively shames gay people for their orientation.

So, when you see this flag, try to understand that many gay people consider it to be a symbol of opposition to gay rights, Women who are concerned about their rights consider it a symbol of misogyny, because it promotes an ideology that denies the reality of sex-based oppression, and yet most people, gay people included, haven't even noticed this transition from the pro-gay rainbow flag to this anti-gay imposter.

And that's because it all happened so quickly, and activists are playing on good intentions of a public who don't want to be seen to be on the wrong side of history. Well, I would suggest that upholding the rights of women and gay people and protecting gender non-conforming children and opposing the hypocrisy of corporations is the truly progressive approach.

Anyone who spends any time on social media would have seen that homophobia is clearly on the rise. It's coming from the reactionary elements of the right, who are now holding gay people responsible for sexualized drag shows for children, and the proliferation of sexually explicit books in school libraries. But of course, they've fallen for the trick. This isn't gay people. That's gender ideologues who've convinced everyone that the LGBTQIA+ movement is one big happy family, when it isn't.

And we know this because homophobia is also on the rise among gender ideologues themselves, who frequently go online to tell gay people to kill themselves. Some of them have said that they celebrate AIDS as a good thing. And this isn't just a few mad activists, there are thousands of examples of this if you've got the stomach to look them up.

So whether it's coming from those who consider themselves right wing or left-wing, anti-gay sentiments are back in fashion. And the best way to combat this is to remind everyone that that Progress Pride flag, and the corporate orgy that accompanies it, is not in the interests of gay people.

And if it's too late to reclaim the original Pride flag, we can at least ditch the new one.

#Andrew Doyle #Pride month #pride flag #rainbow flag #progress pride flag #ideological takeover #impostor #anti gay #homophobia 2.0 #woke homophobia #gender ideology #queer theory #same sex attraction #gay rights #religion is a mental illness

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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years

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OMG YESSS part 3 for the unlucky reader fic would be AWESOME

Batfam x unlucky male reader

Part 3

I’m so happy you guys like this series, as it’s been something I’ve thought about for a while.

This chapter features one of my ocs, Khal, so keep that in mind. Though he is only mentioned barely.

I made up my own area of Gotham since I couldn’t find something that didn’t already have a protector and alike.

- You were quick to purchase your new apartment, and with the help of your powers you kept hidden from the watchful eyes of the bats as you moved.

- Hazelheights, but more commonly known as Goretown, was where you moved. The chunk of the city was similar to Crime alley, except it had no protector like the red hood to kick up a storm when children were being used, or innocents killed.

- Hazelheights gained its nickname after many gangs moved here a few years ago, and it led to an extreme bloodbath where they tore each other part, flinging blood and body parts around the street. It went on for months before It finally seemed to settle, though there were disputes at times that were as bloody as the original war.

- Here you set up an attractive apartment. And by that you mean an apartment with no mold or broken windows, it even had functioning water. When everything was finished you sat down, a lined notebook in your lap as you tried to create your antihero costume.

- Your powers purr as it takes control of your hand, sketching out a look that looks too much like some marble statue you’d see at museums too expensive for you to get in. You took in the drawing in its half-naked glory.

- Apparently, your powers wanted you to run around in nothing but a tunic, or a short skirt. A flash of pain flickered behind your eyes as your powers grumbled that it was traditional gladiator wear.

- You had to shake your head, doing your own sketches. But no matter what design you came up with, your powers always added a snake to its design. The snake biting its own tail was added somewhere on it, whether it be a design on the back, or worked into the natural lines of the outfit.

- When questioned why the snake, your abilities purred like a large, satisfied cat, rumbling that its creator must be worn with pride.

- You couldn’t seem to create a design without some kind of robe, so you agreed to a short robe that reached your knees, though your powers did pout at not getting its floor length bright purple fabric with stars and glitter.

- With some more work you finally came to a design you liked. It was practical and could be moved freely in, it had a helmet that covered your entire head and face, so that along with the hood would hide your identity.

- Feeling your powers flare, you created your outfit out of thin air. It was the first time you had created anything other than chaos, so you sat in shock for a while. Maybe your powers weren’t just luck based, but something else.

- Yes, your powers hissed, sounding more snake than feline this time. Magic, it hissed. Powerful, dark, and ancient. Ever changing and shapeless. Created from the bowels and venom of the ancient creator Khal, the birther of magic itself.

- It took a while, but you got your powers to explain what it meant by magic, and soon you figured out your powers, or magic, was the effect of a being called the champion.

- The champion existed to be good and do good, but the newest champion was too powerful too quickly, so something had to balance him to not overwork the weights of reality.

- The entire conversation gave you a headache, but you convinced your magic to start passing knowledge into you, making it possible for you to use magic in other ways than just making things blow up or technology break.

- Pulling on your new outfit, you set out for your first night as an antihero. You hadn’t decided on a name yet, but before you could think too far, your magic forced a word to the front. And you knew it was the one. Misfortune.

- Weeks passed and the bats couldn’t find you no matter how hard they tried, it was like you had just disappeared. And much to their annoyance Hazelheights seemed to finally have gotten their own vigilante.

- Or so they thought, as this new player took down many gang leaders and less than legal operations. But then the cloak wearing person robbed the largest bank Goretown had to offer.

- Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn’t have time for a new rogue to pop up, or some red hood copycat. Goretown had mainly been left alone as no villain or vigilante had set up shop there, until now it seemed.

- Not only were you missing, but a new unknown had cropped up and was ripping up the ecosystem that was Gotham.

- The batclan was able to get a name for this new person. Misfortune. Since there was no sign of you, on a slow night they left to observe this new person.

- You appeared for familiar, but it was only when the very road under a car Misfortune had been chasing caved in on itself, causing said car to crash into the sewers, that the connection was made.

- The bats rushed back to the care, and compared notes about you and about this Misfortune, things like powers and physical build, and it became clear.

- You were Misfortune. They tried to figure out just why you had turned to this. There was no tragic backstory it seemed, as you had lived such a peaceful life. Their only theory was because of the lack of money, or maybe your powers had gone to your head.

- They didn’t get to speculate for much longer, as a message from the league line rang across the cave. Picking it up, they were met with the face of one champion of magic, Captain Marvel.

- Marvel greeted them, slightly awkward as he scratched his chin. When Bruce asked him for the reason of his call, Marvel stuttered a little, trying to find the right words.

- When pressed by Bruce, he finally explained how magic in Gotham had been going haywire, and how it was centered around one specific area and as champion of magic, it was Captain Marvels duty to check it out.

- The bats all shot each other glances. They had a feeling this had something to do with you.

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oswlld · 22 days

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oswlld's monthly wrap up: march

note: i am trying something a bit different this year, so bear with me as i figure out how i want to format this. i wanted to spend more time sharing what i consume, beyond what i rb, and put my thoughts in one place. these posts are okay to rb

When We Cease to Understand the World, Benjamín Labatut [started 02/24, finished 03/14] What an outstanding example of blurring the lines between fiction and reality. I am content in never knowing what’s real and imaginary in the lives of these people. May we never forget that for every new idea challenged, there is a real person with real emotions and motivations behind it. 4.25⭐️ in storygraph. — No Stopping Us Now: A History of Older Women in America, Gail Collins [started 03/03, finished 03/30] This book makes some strong points, but comes off weak in its execution. By having it be told decade by decade, it becomes hard to follow along when so many names and events are being tossed around. Without a firm thread tying all the themes together, the achievements ended up feeling lackluster when it should leave you feeling a sense of pride and hopefulness. 3.25⭐️ in storygraph (I rounded up, but it feels more like a 3.15)

23.5 Degrees, GMMTV [started: 03/08, ongoing] What a breath of fresh air!! With my busy schedule, I managed to catch the first two eps and I’ve loved every minute of it. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, while still keeping a tight grip on its sense of identity. The series soaks up every aspect of its space theme like a sponge. Content specifically made for me, tysm! As much as I have tried refraining from consuming more high school settings, I couldn’t help but be enamored by what I have seen so far. I have paused this series for now, but hopefully I’ll be caught up before the end of April. I should be able to watch it live on Fridays in May. Until then, I will miss them dearly! — Always a Witch, Netflix [started 03/28, in progress] At this time, I have only seen episodes 1-5. So far, it’s a very straight-forward series. I am restraining myself from calling it predictable, because there are one or two things that really turns some tropes/themes on its head. But all-in-all, I am still waiting for this show to grab me. For a show that checks all the boxes that really makes a core jessi show, a series with time travel, magical realism, and found family, it has yet to completely sweep me away. Time really got away from me this month, but I will finish this series sometime in the next two weeks. We shall see if the latter half gets better.

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour (Taylor’s Version) [watched 03/15 thru 03/18] I have seen this live and did see the original film in theaters last year, so this experience was more of a rewatch. This time around, my parents wanted to watch some of it with me so we made a whole evening of it on 3/15 so that was really neat. I will be traveling a lot in April and will be taking an audio copy of this to keep me entertained. — Oscar Nomination Season [started 02/17, ended 03/24] All of my initial reactions of what I managed to cover this Oscar season is in this post. Some of the strongest categories I have had the pleasure of covering this year were the Best Documentary (feature), Best Production Design, Best Live Action Short, Best Documentary (short), and Best Animated Film. I have several more films to tackle later this year, but my overall impression this Oscar season was just alright. One or two films have hit an extremely high note for me, but no worst of the worst.

BEYONCÉ, Beyoncé [relistening] During the pandemic, I really got into waching YT reaction channels reacting to full albums. One of my favorites is HTHaze and he is only beginning his listening journey through Beyoncé’s discography (yes, for the first time!) His reaction to Beyoncé’s self-titled made me want to relisten to it in full for the first time in years. I tend to only revisit a few songs through the years, but I do love going back to albums after time has past to recontextualize everything all over again. I’ve had my longtime faves from my 20’s but in my mid-30’s, the songs that hit harder now are: Pretty Hurts, Haunted, and Jealous. — Bewitched, Laufey [first time listening] The same YT channel got me to listen to this album. I am guilty in having my first listen be through his video first before diving into her album properly. With that said, the brain rot went FULL ROT. I love LOVE her compositions. Having learned from her Tiny Desk that getting a grand piano influenced the way she wrote her songs makes the whole conception so much grander. Her voice is soooo, it’s SOOOOO !!!!!!! I read a comment somewhere that her dream is to rejuvenate jazz the same way Taylor Swift did with country for a younger generation and that really spoke to me. I truly believe she is heading in the right direction in achieving that. My favorite run of songs goes from: Haunted, Must Be Love, While You Were Sleeping, Lovesick, California and Me, Nocturne (Interlude), and Promise. Those seven songs in that succession is so GOOD, ahH! — Once the Musical [relistening] Every spring, I fall into a Once spiral and it just gets deeper and deeper. This time though, I only tackled the core faves on YT rather than committing to the full audio (w/ Arthur Darvill and Joanna Christie). Although Arthur Darvill’s Leave will forever solidify his Guy as my Guy, Declan Bennett is The Guy of Guys for me. My mandatory relistening experience always goes: Arthur’s Leave, Arthur’s Say It To Me Now, Declan’s Say It To Me Now, Declan’s When Your Mind’s Made Up, Zrinka's If You Want Me, Once’s Spotify Jam Session. And it would all be on a loop lol. — Cowboy Carter, Beyoncé [first time listening] This is still fresh in my mind, having only listened to it in its entirety once through. My first impression is that it’s one of her most cohesive albums to date. Having had the first taste of what she would eventually achieve all the way back with Lemonade and The Gift, Cowboy Carter feels like a natural progression in her discography. I don’t have a top songs list to provide at this time, as I would need more time with the album. Fav songs come with time. Although, I did listen to 16 CARRIAGES when it was released several weeks ago and I knew then it would be a spectacular album. What a phenomenal single to lead a phenomenal homecoming.

Where’d You Go Bernadette, written by Maria Semple and narrated by Kathleen Wilhoite [started 03/22, finished 03/29] I… I didn’t like this. And that’s alright. Even if I didn’t like the premise or the characters, I did enjoy the format of the narrative and the narrator (especially her singing!!). But in the end, this was just not meant for me.

—

As it is still March when I am writing this, I wanted to endcap Women’s Month with a special shoutout to two women in my life that have been working with me to improve my overall well-being: Wendy (personal trainer) and Sofia (life coach). I am in a better headspace because of the work and trust they have in me to build a life I want. I cannot wait to see what I am capable of this time next year.

#oswlld 2024 wrap up #mine: edits #oscars 2024 #23.5 degrees #always a witch #laufey #beyoncé #cowboy carter #once the musical #where'd you go bernadette #will be returning each month when i post these #see you again soon :(

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